Contest #670


Cartoon

670

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute.”
  2. “It’s just until I can afford health insurance.”
  3. “On thy left, fair maiden.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-07-21T22:26:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-08-11T22:28:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-07-29T22:27:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued August 5 & 12, 2019
Number of captions 3764
Number of responses 640930
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Armstrong? No, though I do get mistaken for Lance a lot. 2.0350 0.00831 9280 2831 3300 3149
1 It’s the swimming portion that I am most concerned with. 2.0279 0.00777 9827 2796 3967 3063
2 I think you misunderstood 'ironman competition'. 2.0085 0.00799 9055 2584 3813 2657
3 Whew, I'm a lot rustier than I thought. 1.9817 0.00802 8688 2517 3816 2355
4 I always said I'd take up cycling when I hit the middle ages. 1.9630 0.00892 7410 2370 2962 2078
5 It started as a crusade, now it's just a commute. 1.9623 0.00850 8122 2557 3321 2244
6 I said, '"Wear your Under Armour." 1.8997 0.01270 3798 1373 1433 992
7 You won't believe how many people want to shoot the messenger. 1.8777 0.00919 7124 2663 2681 1780
8 Costume party? No, substitute teacher, seventh grade. 1.8772 0.00922 7347 2822 2613 1912
9 It’s just until I can afford health insurance. 1.8712 0.01097 4936 1832 1911 1193
10 Anyone wearing spandex shouldn’t judge anyone’s else’s fashion choices. 1.8172 0.00954 6566 2673 2421 1472
11 It’s honestly more comfortable than the seat.” 1.8036 0.01000 5826 2419 2147 1260
12 It's your first Ironman, right? 1.8029 0.01125 4323 1692 1791 840
13 Well the helmet would look stupid without the rest of it. 1.7974 0.01306 3361 1372 1298 691
14 It started with wearing a helmet like everyone else. Then I scraped my knee, so I started wearing knee pads, then it sort of snowballed 1.7911 0.01030 5596 2381 2009 1206
15 First time biking in New York City? 1.7877 0.01038 5181 2141 2010 1030
16 It even comes with knight vision. 1.7667 0.01365 3125 1359 1136 630
17 Water bottle? No that's WD-40. 1.7622 0.01664 2014 858 777 379
18 Stay clear of magnet schools. 1.7567 0.01547 2610 1210 825 575
19 You said we were doing a century. I picked the 13th. 1.7490 0.01324 3407 1552 1158 697
20 No, no! The coach suggested UNDER armor. 1.7393 0.00953 6249 2828 2233 1188
21 Surely you joust. 1.7357 0.01293 3579 1669 1187 723
22 Normally, I wouldn't send a knight out on a bike like this. 1.7161 0.01191 4367 2159 1293 915
23 I’m putting metal to the pedal. 1.7142 0.01548 2376 1113 829 434
24 All attempts to pass me are feudal.” 1.7099 0.01299 3340 1571 1169 600
25 This part isn't nearly as bad as the swim. 1.6865 0.01200 3582 1693 1335 554
26 Don’t ask. It was Amazon prime day. 1.6859 0.01238 3773 1871 1217 685
27 The bike? It’s a $15,000 carbon fibre kit that weighs 3.4 pounds. Why? 1.6852 0.01262 3647 1825 1148 672
28 I'm Medieval Knievel 1.6837 0.01366 3105 1546 995 564
29 Laundry day. 1.6705 0.01661 1988 980 683 325
30 It’s cheaper than health insurance 1.6667 0.02937 609 295 222 92
31 I just thought I was too old for Lycra and too young to die. 1.6598 0.01595 2196 1114 715 367
32 I'm in the middle age division. 1.6596 0.01579 2024 972 769 283
33 It's New York, Mom. Every day's a battle. 1.6554 0.01169 3877 1942 1336 599
34 On thy left, fair maiden. 1.6540 0.01498 2439 1250 788 400
35 Laugh all you like, but I’ll get into the Met for free today! 1.6494 0.01715 1797 900 627 270
36 Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.6468 0.01518 2330 1182 789 359
37 Do you know where there's a White Castle around here? 1.6399 0.01539 2191 1112 759 320
38 Honey, I said NIGHT ride. 1.6307 0.01833 1500 757 540 203
39 Do you know how expensive it is to keep a steed in Manhattan? 1.6274 0.02607 789 413 257 119
40 Out for your knightly ride? 1.6162 0.01413 2613 1375 866 372
41 I'm between insurance plans. 1.6160 0.01617 2000 1054 660 286
42 I really want to be like Lance. A lot. 1.6159 0.01912 1458 776 466 216
43 This is not what I meant when I told you to bring protection 1.6134 0.01866 1521 810 489 222
44 Did you see a lion and scarecrow back there? 1.6126 0.01804 1621 863 523 235
45 It burns calories, protects me against falls, and I get terrific reception on my cell phone. 1.6060 0.01780 1622 862 537 223
46 Let me guess: You’re a Knight in riding armor? 1.5976 0.01604 1983 1090 611 282
47 Not sure why, but my sponsor said all my clothes had to be under armor. 1.5918 0.01592 2141 1201 615 325
48 It’s SPF 150. 1.5916 0.01733 1714 934 546 234
49 Right now? I'm putting my metal to the pedal. 1.5913 0.01460 2354 1278 764 312
50 I used to race with Lance a lot. 1.5864 0.01685 1922 1086 545 291
51 Lycra makes me chafe. 1.5815 0.01737 1656 905 539 212
52 I work at the White House. 1.5813 0.02000 1371 783 379 209
53 Honestly the armor is not so bad, it's the chastity belt that's the killer. 1.5808 0.02129 1176 663 343 170
54 It's my first Ironman. 1.5769 0.01611 1846 1014 604 227
55 Are you sure your therapist wasn't using a metaphor? 1.5738 0.02180 1030 565 339 126
56 Oh, you meant a night ride. 1.5699 0.01748 1730 989 496 245
57 Obviously you have never ridden in this part of the city. 1.5691 0.01744 1657 928 515 214
58 At least when they door me, I have the satisfaction of scratching their paint. 1.5686 0.01981 1305 737 394 174
59 Well, you said you wanted a knight out on the town. 1.5681 0.03384 433 241 138 54
60 Everyone just assumes I have a good reason. 1.5586 0.02185 1049 596 320 133
61 My therapist said I need to get off my high horse. 1.5579 0.01987 1287 737 382 168
62 And my pants leg STILL gets caught in the gear! 1.5549 0.02018 1267 734 363 170
63 The horse is on backorder. 1.5528 0.01929 1259 702 418 139
64 My mom is kind of overprotective. 1.5498 0.01960 1206 673 403 130
65 My worst stage of a triathlon? Probably swimming. 1.5486 0.01923 1265 710 416 139
66 If you see a dragon on a scooter, let me know. 1.5420 0.02232 1035 612 285 138
67 Do you have any WD-40? 1.5397 0.02123 1084 629 325 130
68 Shirley, you joust? 1.5375 0.02260 1053 639 262 152
69 My wife took the horse today 1.5358 0.02196 1034 609 296 129
70 You said to wear protection. 1.5341 0.02148 1026 593 318 115
71 I wanted to be like Lance... a lot. 1.5306 0.02228 980 576 288 116
72 You have no idea what the Iron Man competition actually is, do you? 1.5303 0.02433 775 445 249 81
73 What, you’ve never lost a bet? 1.5203 0.02643 690 411 199 80
74 It’s protection against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 1.5172 0.02452 816 492 226 98
75 I'll admit, when I pre-ordered Tesla's "eco-friendly armored vehicle" for $70,000, I was sort of expecting a car... 1.5160 0.02816 655 405 162 88
76 The worst part is going to the rest room at Starbucks. 1.5134 0.02488 781 471 219 91
77 You said on your profile ⁠— "looking for a knight in shining armor." 1.5087 0.02506 751 452 216 83
78 My wife says I’m having a middle age crisis. 1.5080 0.02513 748 451 214 83
79 Make fun all you want; you have no idea how high my deductible is. 1.5068 0.02647 732 457 179 96
80 Do you switch to chain mail in hotter weather? 1.5055 0.02525 726 436 213 77
81 Can't talk now, I'm on a crusade! 1.5043 0.02569 700 421 205 74
82 You wanna know what looks weird? Those stretchy black pants. 1.5015 0.02558 686 410 208 68
83 I think I'm lost, is this not the cartoon with the dragon from last week? 1.4993 0.02767 673 426 158 89
84 It's laundry day, okay? 1.4993 0.02581 673 411 191 71
85 Going out for bagels doesn’t qualify as a quest. 1.4970 0.02648 666 407 187 72
86 Navigating traffic and jaywalkers was a lot more fun before the police took away my lance. 1.4964 0.02920 550 337 153 60
87 History is cyclical. 1.4953 0.02696 644 395 179 70
88 Spandex makes my butt look big. 1.4945 0.02747 639 397 168 74
89 The dragon was in last week's cartoon. 1.4937 0.02768 638 399 163 76
90 My kingdom for a horse! 1.4937 0.02770 632 394 164 74
91 It's an easier way to get buns of steel. 1.4936 0.02699 622 378 181 63
92 I hate delivering for Round Table Pizza. 1.4928 0.02673 629 394 165 70
93 Aren’t you taking this Iron Man thing a little too seriously? 1.4892 0.02820 603 377 157 69
94 You said we were going to see Queens. 1.4842 0.03433 411 260 103 48
95 Joan of Arc, what’s yours? 1.4831 0.02903 563 354 146 63
96 I thought you said that this was an Iron Man competition 1.4811 0.02726 555 333 177 45
97 You invited me out for a "night ride"? 1.4809 0.02728 551 330 177 44
98 This is a cakewalk; the swim and the run are the hardest. 1.4799 0.02702 548 326 181 41
99 I thought you said “dress for a knight ride.” 1.4787 0.02892 539 335 150 54
100 It just got too expensive to keep a horse in the city. 1.4787 0.02986 539 343 134 62
101 You have to decide if the safety is worth the chafing. 1.4787 0.02880 539 334 152 53
102 I'm a bike messenger for Brinks. 1.4787 0.02916 539 337 146 56
103 Not bad for a Middle-Aged man huh? 1.4765 0.03214 405 246 125 34
104 When I set up my on-line dating profile I didn't literally mean I wanted a knight in shining armor. 1.4759 0.03832 311 195 84 32
105 No...I said dress appropriately for a NIGHT ride. 1.4752 0.02988 524 332 135 57
106 My lawyer told me to wear something court-appropriate. 1.4749 0.02913 518 321 148 49
107 Sure, you're protected from concussions, cuts and scrapes but keep an eye out for lightning. 1.4746 0.02937 512 318 145 49
108 I lost my healthcare coverage. 1.4744 0.02951 527 332 140 55
109 Think we'll have enough momentum to clear the moat? 1.4736 0.02980 511 321 138 52
110 The best biking accessory for me has been WD-40. 1.4724 0.02846 508 309 158 41
111 When you drink and joust they take away your horse. 1.4723 0.03103 506 327 119 60
112 Its heavy, it hurts and its ruining my hair. But at least its not plastic. 1.4711 0.03101 501 323 120 58
113 “How do I get to Queens? 1.4708 0.03040 497 315 130 52
114 My other bike is a horse. 1.4702 0.03719 336 214 86 36
115 Yeah, she took the castle *and* the horse in the divorce. 1.4667 0.03075 480 305 126 49
116 I feel safer, but the chaffing is ridiculous. 1.4664 0.02992 476 296 138 42
117 I'm a little rusty, but I think I can make it. 1.4650 0.02984 471 292 139 40
118 Titanium, lighter than it looks and matches my bike. 1.4648 0.03009 469 302 121 46
119 I’m heading home now; my knight shift is over! 1.4642 0.03684 349 226 84 39
120 Do you think your second week in congress will go better? 1.4641 0.03116 459 291 123 45
121 I thought I was ordering gear for ‘Night’ cycling. 1.4632 0.03102 462 293 124 45
122 Well, I would look stupid in just the helmet. 1.4632 0.03235 462 305 102 55
123 You’re right—I can see better with the visor up! 1.4622 0.03161 450 287 118 45
124 Because it has a lower carbon footprint than my horse. 1.4622 0.03035 463 290 132 41
125 Metal to the pedal, baby. 1.4605 0.03148 443 281 120 42
126 Well, all I can say is the genius who invented Bike to Work Day never worked at Medieval Times. 1.4588 0.03165 449 288 116 45
127 Of course I'm wearing a helmet, Mom. 1.4582 0.03212 443 286 111 46
128 These helmet laws are getting out of hand. 1.4582 0.03015 443 279 127 37
129 I am a knight in riding armor. 1.4580 0.03254 441 287 106 48
130 It's a tin speed. 1.4565 0.03511 414 279 81 54
131 The clanging is annoying, but worse is the chafing. 1.4560 0.03171 432 275 117 40
132 It won't help. He's still president. 1.4560 0.03360 432 289 90 53
133 My mother is a little overprotective. 1.4537 0.03281 421 273 105 43
134 Nobody likes a knight in shining spandex. 1.4519 0.03392 405 266 95 44
135 First time in New York? 1.4511 0.03104 419 270 112 37
136 My horse is still finishing the swim. 1.4504 0.03670 353 234 79 40
137 You said let’s ride any time, so I chose the Middle Ages. 1.4494 0.03110 405 257 116 32
138 Because I consider the rest of my body just as important as my head, that's why! 1.4470 0.03372 396 259 97 40
139 Yes, the visor does mess with my peripheral vision, but that’s where the rest of the armor comes in. 1.4470 0.03315 396 256 103 37
140 I say “night ride” and your first thought is “knight ride”? 1.4470 0.03391 396 260 95 41
141 Lance-less Armstrong 1.4470 0.03429 396 262 91 43
142 To the Cloisters. Why do you ask? 1.4461 0.03335 399 260 100 39
143 This is nothing. The swim was a bitch!! 1.4456 0.03359 395 258 98 39
144 So you change at work then? 1.4424 0.03460 382 253 89 40
145 Really lowers the insurance." 1.4421 0.03351 380 246 100 34
146 Turns out he wasn't a faithful steed. 1.4421 0.03372 380 247 98 35
147 Mind if I set the pace? I'm a bit rusty. 1.4419 0.03246 387 247 109 31
148 OK, I’ll admit it. Under Armour would have been a better choice. 1.4418 0.03322 378 243 103 32
149 No, I said I wanted to go for a night ride. 1.4394 0.03429 371 243 93 35
150 Yes, it is really hot in here, and stop calling me 'Rusty'. 1.4390 0.03506 369 245 86 38
151 I always imagined you’d be riding a white horse. 1.4390 0.03568 369 248 80 41
152 "You save time with the aerodynamics but any bathroom break takes all day." 1.4390 0.03377 369 239 98 32
153 I just got dropped from my parents health care coverage. 1.4378 0.03039 370 240 104 26
154 On your left, m'lady. 1.4368 0.03529 364 247 77 40
155 Just the helmet? You must be new here. 1.4361 0.03480 360 237 89 34
156 I haven’t been on the road in ages. 1.4361 0.03321 360 230 103 27
157 I'll take it off when this street gets a bike lane. 1.4361 0.03557 360 246 74 40
158 He who rests, rusts. 1.4355 0.03535 349 230 86 33
159 I'm training for an Ironman. 1.4334 0.03412 353 239 79 35
160 It's cumbersome but cars feel threatened. 1.4334 0.03551 353 235 83 35
161 What makes you say I'm having a middle age crisis? 1.4330 0.03426 351 228 94 29
162 You think Lycra chafes... 1.4322 0.03543 354 236 83 35
163 So, do you lance a lot ? 1.4322 0.03428 354 246 69 39
164 I figured it was the logical thing to wear over my Under Armour. 1.4322 0.03741 354 245 65 44
165 Gosh, I thought my parents were overprotective. Yours are, like, from the Middle Ages. 1.4302 0.03522 344 227 86 31
166 I think you dropped a gauntlet. 1.4302 0.03449 344 224 92 28
167 It's been a while - I feel rusty. 1.4299 0.03537 314 202 89 23
168 This is why you are single 1.4298 0.03524 342 233 74 35
169 Is this the way to White Castle? 1.4298 0.03413 342 221 95 26
170 Fair maiden...will this road lead me to Queens? 1.4294 0.03349 340 217 100 23
171 Passing on ye left! 1.4273 0.03621 337 226 78 33
172 I voted for Trump. 1.4273 0.03669 337 228 74 35
173 It's cheaper than having health insurance. 1.4264 0.03395 333 214 96 23
174 I love the knight thing but I just can't ride a horse." 1.4264 0.03552 333 220 84 29
175 'It's hot and heavy, but I saved 20% on medical insurance." 1.4264 0.03500 333 218 88 27
176 My friends told me to buy under armor but that stuff is WAY too expensive. 1.4260 0.03515 331 217 87 27
177 Not everyone can afford private health insurance, Jane. 1.4251 0.03491 327 213 89 25
178 My horse is in the shop. 1.4239 0.03419 335 226 82 27
179 Paleo is over. I'm going medieval on my body. 1.4233 0.03757 326 223 68 35
180 With all the drive-by shootings, it was either this or a stretch limo. 1.4224 0.03499 322 210 88 24
181 In the long run, it’s cheaper than sunscreen. 1.4224 0.03527 322 221 70 31
182 Pardon me. Do you happen to have any grey poupon? 1.4224 0.03740 322 219 70 33
183 I look ridiculous in bike shorts. 1.4219 0.03730 320 217 71 32
184 Listen Merlin, I want my horse back. 1.4219 0.03782 320 219 67 34
185 But you said it was an Ironman triathalon 1.4214 0.03773 318 217 68 33
186 Overprotective mother. 1.4214 0.03747 318 219 67 32
187 I'm a middle age biker. 1.4196 0.03754 317 216 69 32
188 I'm done swerving for jaywalkers 1.4180 0.03667 311 208 76 27
189 I think you're training too literally for the Ironman. 1.4175 0.02734 309 223 61 25
190 You know that only the helmet is required... 1.4169 0.03757 307 208 70 29
191 I have an overprotective mother. 1.4158 0.03763 303 205 70 28
192 There’s not much work available since ‘Game of Thrones’ ended. 1.4158 0.03429 303 194 92 17
193 Over Armour. It’s a thing. 1.4133 0.03699 300 201 74 25
194 I'll tell you what, it's more effective than ankle weights. 1.4122 0.03479 296 191 88 17
195 I save 15 minutes cutting through the dog park. 1.4122 0.03672 296 197 76 23
196 Time to put some metal to the pedal. 1.4122 0.03609 296 195 80 21
197 Then tell me why do they call it an Iron Man? 1.4122 0.03672 296 197 76 23
198 And on Fridays, I catapult to the city. 1.4120 0.04268 233 158 54 21
199 I get stiff when it rains. 1.4110 0.03737 292 196 72 24
200 Now that I've tried both, I think I prefer the Under Armour." 1.4103 0.03723 290 194 73 23
201 I have a very high deductible. 1.4102 0.03710 295 198 73 24
202 It’s cheaper than healthcare. 1.4093 0.03546 281 194 66 21
203 I haven't been riding in ages. 1.4073 0.03930 275 188 62 25
204 Are you going to Scarborough Fair? 1.4066 0.03847 273 184 67 22
205 Sunscreen would probably suffice. 1.4064 0.03545 283 184 83 16
206 I cross-train with Shakespeare in the Park. 1.4064 0.03817 283 192 67 24
207 'Tis a courtesy loaner from my farrier 1.4062 0.03927 288 200 59 29
208 This helmet just doesn't work without the suit. 1.4057 0.03802 281 190 68 23
209 My insurance doesn't kick in until the end of the month. 1.4057 0.03666 281 186 76 19
210 It seemed easier than getting my brakes fixed. 1.4057 0.03869 281 192 64 25
211 Pardon me, but do you have any W40? 1.4056 0.03820 286 195 66 25
212 I misread night ride. 1.4056 0.03820 286 195 66 25
213 Trust me. You’ll get practically the same noise by putting a baseball card in the spokes and it is sooo much easier. 1.4056 0.03689 286 201 59 26
214 Chivalry is dead, but not from a head injury. 1.4056 0.03915 286 198 60 28
215 Don't look now, I just saw the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on two tandems behind us. 1.4056 0.03788 286 194 68 24
216 I said I was in the mood for amour 1.4056 0.03852 286 196 64 26
217 This is not what I meant when I said you should use protection. 1.4043 0.04039 277 194 54 29
218 This kit received the highest rating on crash tests. 1.4043 0.03857 277 191 61 25
219 Your other bike is a horse? 1.4036 0.03789 275 185 69 21
220 Have you seen the way New Yorkers drive? A helmet isn’t enough 1.4036 0.03701 275 185 70 20
221 I know it's a bit clunky. But when I fall down, I skin the asphalt! 1.4036 0.03789 275 185 69 21
222 I see you’re training for the Iron Man. 1.4036 0.03610 275 187 68 20
223 You're not fooling anyone Lance! 1.4036 0.03909 280 193 61 26
224 A neon green helmet? Sharon, you look like a nerd. 1.4029 0.03995 278 194 56 28
225 ....The weight actually helps on the way down to work.... I switch to my Age of Enlightenment outfit on the way home. 1.4022 0.03898 271 185 63 23
226 It's a Schwinn 10 steed 1.4022 0.03982 276 192 57 27
227 'Thought I was getting a noble steed, not 6-speed." 1.4021 0.03817 286 196 65 25
228 It’s a 10-steed 1.4021 0.04036 286 203 51 32
229 It's not breathable, but it is stainless. 1.4021 0.03206 286 196 71 18
230 I had a horse and chariot, but parking was impossible. 1.4007 0.03816 272 184 67 21
231 You insisted that the night ride invite didn’t have a typo. Well: this is where we find out who was right. 1.3993 0.04134 268 190 49 29
232 Honestly, I'm just happy I made it past the swimming leg. 1.3993 0.03817 268 181 67 20
233 No, just the usual parent/teacher meetings. 1.3993 0.03890 268 183 63 22
234 I just don't like how I look in spandex. 1.3993 0.03890 268 183 63 22
235 Yeah, I suppose the fixed gear is a little anachronistic. 1.3993 0.03926 268 184 61 23
236 I avoid hills like the plague. 1.3992 0.03842 258 173 67 18
237 Is my helmet crooked? I don't want people staring at me funny. 1.3985 0.03894 271 186 62 23
238 Courier for six years in Midtown. 1.3985 0.03998 271 189 56 26
239 I'd race – if I only had the heart. 1.3985 0.03929 271 192 52 27
240 I shifted into 17th century gear and this happened. 1.3985 0.03982 266 184 58 24
241 I'm on my way to knight school. 1.3984 0.03822 256 171 68 17
242 It does give you a downhill advantage. 1.3977 0.03742 264 176 71 17
243 Without the rest of the outfit, the helmet just didn't look right. 1.3977 0.04038 264 184 55 25
244 Difficult? This is a piece of cake after the swim leg. 1.3977 0.03704 264 175 73 16
245 Have you seen a white stallion by any chance? 1.3977 0.03930 264 181 61 22
246 I’m just saying that chain mail might be more breathable 1.3977 0.03645 264 182 64 18
247 Don't tell the Met Museum staff that you saw me. 1.3977 0.04038 264 184 55 25
248 The cabbies don't seem to notice, but it freaks out the SUVs from Jersey. 1.3977 0.04074 264 185 53 26
249 I asked for a noble steed, and I got this ten speed. 1.3969 0.03876 262 178 64 20
250 This museum job is killing me. 1.3962 0.04190 260 185 47 28
251 I said I like cycling AT night! 1.3962 0.04045 260 181 55 24
252 Just found out my agent sent me to the wrong audition . 1.3962 0.04082 260 182 53 25
253 A friend told me to try knight riding. I wish he would've texted me. 1.3962 0.03971 260 179 59 22
254 I just assumed that's why they called it the Ironman. 1.3961 0.03870 255 172 65 18
255 Can't talk now. It looks silly being on a bike with a phone. 1.3953 0.03992 258 178 58 22
256 My lance is still stuck in the BMW that tried to run the red light. 1.3953 0.04213 258 184 46 28
257 Statistics show that cycling takes more lives every year than jousting. So, no Karen, I don't think it's "too much". 1.3953 0.03992 258 178 58 22
258 It's not a water bottle. It's 3-in-1 oil. 1.3953 0.03992 258 178 58 22
259 You wouldn't need all that armour if you just put your phone away! 1.3953 0.04104 258 181 52 25
260 It blocks 99% of UV rays! 1.3953 0.03838 258 174 66 18
261 Joust do it 1.3945 0.03936 256 180 53 23
262 Chivalry is going down hill. 1.3945 0.02959 256 180 62 14
263 I may have to stop soon for an oil change. 1.3945 0.03696 256 174 65 17
264 Wait, you said Under Armour? 1.3945 0.03975 256 176 59 21
265 And you think Gore-tex and plastic will protect you 1.3945 0.03975 256 176 59 21
266 Last time I was sweating this much I had the black plague. 1.3945 0.04126 256 180 51 25
267 Who do you think you are...Evel Midieval? 1.3945 0.04013 256 177 57 22
268 I have overprotective parents. 1.3945 0.04051 256 178 55 23
269 I have a meeting at The White House 1.3937 0.04111 254 178 52 24
270 So the horse is in the shop? 1.3937 0.04035 254 176 56 22
271 I am your Knight In Riding Armor! 1.3896 0.04167 249 176 49 24
272 Mettle. I said it's a chance to test your mettle! 1.3896 0.04008 249 172 57 20
273 The horse got the cab. 1.3896 0.04008 249 172 57 20
274 Lighter and breathable without the chainmail, and still car repellent. 1.3896 0.03885 249 169 63 17
275 Look - if you're going to the Cloisters, you should dress appropriately. 1.3896 0.03968 249 171 59 19
276 On ye left! 1.3889 0.03620 252 180 52 20
277 You can see it, too? I thought it was only emotional. 1.3889 0.04092 252 177 52 23
278 It's the swimming leg of these triathlons that's really killing me. 1.3889 0.04092 252 177 52 23
279 Did you see a dragon pass by? She is winged, green, and riding a ten-speed with a basket. 1.3889 0.03853 252 171 64 17
280 Forgive me for passing fair maiden, for I am most tardy for my shift at Medieval Times. 1.3887 0.03506 247 179 50 18
281 I am checking the weather forecast. If it rains I'm screwed. 1.3887 0.03820 247 166 66 15
282 When you said you were going to pick up the mail... 1.3887 0.03820 247 166 66 15
283 My other bike is a dragon. 1.3887 0.04030 247 171 56 20
284 It's only until they make enough protected bike lanes. 1.3887 0.04151 247 174 50 23
285 Yeah. I kinda got tired of Hot Yoga so I thought I’d try something new. 1.3878 0.03969 245 168 59 18
286 Does this suit of armor make my butt look big? 1.3878 0.04293 245 176 43 26
287 Why yes, I am a Connecticut Yankee. Why do you ask? 1.3859 0.04098 241 168 53 20
288 Forget the water bottle, I need an oil can. 1.3859 0.03947 241 167 56 18
289 I find high-intensity training really keeps me in shape for pillaging. 1.3859 0.04012 241 166 57 18
290 When I turned 40, I entered the Middle Ages. 1.3849 0.04121 239 167 52 20
291 Over Armour, Under Armour -- what's the difference, I said. 1.3849 0.03991 239 164 58 17
292 I think you took a wrong turn of the century. 1.3849 0.04205 239 169 48 22
293 The helmet is the law. But I figured why stop there? 1.3849 0.04048 252 177 53 22
294 I said cyclists need 'mettle' not 'metal'. 1.3849 0.03807 252 171 65 16
295 Well I'm certainly not going into battle in spandex. 1.3849 0.03869 252 175 58 19
296 Just wait until midtown. You’ll see. 1.3840 0.03923 237 161 61 15
297 Looks like another knight on the town. 1.3840 0.02962 237 170 54 13
298 My kingdom for a breathable breastplate 1.3840 0.03830 237 159 65 13
299 How bad is the noise in the rain? 1.3840 0.04057 237 169 49 19
300 Because a yellow jersey would be ostentatious. 1.3840 0.03736 237 157 69 11
301 Turns out my horse wasn’t carbon neutral. 1.3840 0.04144 237 166 51 20
302 Do you know how impractical it is to have a horse in the city? 1.3840 0.04101 237 165 53 19
303 “I used to avoid exercise like the plague. Then I got the plague.” 1.3830 0.04124 235 164 52 19
304 My parents won't let me stay on their insurance." 1.3820 0.04192 233 164 49 20
305 you must be Knight Rider. 1.3820 0.04148 233 163 51 19
306 So, when you said you were looking for "a knight in shining armor" that was just a metaphor? 1.3820 0.04103 233 162 53 18
307 The city lacks horse lanes. 1.3820 0.03966 233 159 59 15
308 Didn’t fanny packs go out of style like 20 years ago?! 1.3820 0.03799 233 171 42 20
309 My new health insurance policy has an armor-clad accident clause. 1.3820 0.04058 233 161 55 17
310 If you think this is overkill for protection, you should see my condoms 1.3820 0.04407 233 169 39 25
311 I tell people it cuts wind resistance, but it's really because I hate bug splatters. 1.3820 0.03547 233 168 48 17
312 That cloudburst caught me by surprise, too. Don't suppose you have any WD-40. 1.3810 0.04034 231 159 56 16
313 Actually, it's a 10 steed. 1.3793 0.03879 232 169 45 18
314 Spandex makes me itch. 1.3783 0.03700 230 169 42 19
315 I got it at the Met gift shop. 1.3783 0.04359 230 166 41 23
316 I'm a freshman Congresswoman. Did you see the President's tweet? 1.3783 0.04316 230 165 43 22
317 Didn't you hear? This is de Blasio's latest plan for protected bike lanes. 1.3783 0.04136 230 161 51 18
318 This is the easy part; the first part of the triathlon was swimming. 1.3783 0.04090 230 162 50 18
319 It's SIR Fred, Actually. Why do you ask? 1.3783 0.04043 230 159 55 16
320 I admit, I was a little unclear on what was meant by night riding. 1.3783 0.04136 230 161 51 18
321 It's a two speed: canter and joust. 1.3778 0.04200 225 158 49 18
322 Can I call you back? I'm getting pulled over by a cultural appropriation activist. 1.3772 0.04342 228 164 42 22
323 I ordered a suit for NIGHT riding...I guess there was a little misunderstanding. 1.3772 0.04066 228 158 54 16
324 Oil can...oil can. 1.3761 0.02510 226 169 47 10
325 I thought you said you wanted to be "joust" friends. 1.3761 0.04184 226 159 49 18
326 I’ve got a really high health insurance deductible... 1.3761 0.04089 226 157 53 16
327 I told you I was a road warrior. 1.3761 0.04231 226 160 47 19
328 I do not have intimacy issues! 1.3750 0.04141 216 152 48 16
329 Turns out defending the King is nothing compared to biking in Queens. 1.3750 0.04368 216 154 43 19
330 That swimming leg was not easy. 1.3733 0.04194 225 159 48 18
331 first a helmet. then one thing let to another. 1.3733 0.04379 225 163 40 22
332 It’s a startup dating service called Knight Out. 1.3733 0.04287 225 161 44 20
333 I crash a lot. 1.3726 0.04270 212 149 47 16
334 I'm a bicycle messenger by knight. 1.3722 0.03455 223 168 37 18
335 Yes mom, I'm wearing my helmet. 1.3722 0.04073 223 155 53 15
336 My horse refuses to ride past Trump Tower. 1.3722 0.04360 223 161 41 21
337 I've started a meal delivery service called, "A Knight on the Town." 1.3722 0.04171 223 157 49 17
338 Extra precaution. We may run into Lance. 1.3722 0.04266 223 159 45 19
339 I'll do the run, but not the swim. 1.3722 0.04073 223 155 53 15
340 Truth be told, it's only made me more reckless. 1.3716 0.04084 218 151 53 14
341 I fall over a lot. 1.3716 0.03926 218 148 59 11
342 No it's not Chanel; it's WD-40. 1.3716 0.04286 218 155 45 18
343 Have you ever tried using the bike lanes in this city? 1.3716 0.04084 218 151 53 14
344 I don't think that's what Ironman Triathlon means. 1.3716 0.04186 218 153 49 16
345 I just love knight riding. 1.3716 0.04286 218 155 45 18
346 My mother is a bit protective. 1.3716 0.03979 218 149 57 12
347 I think you misunderstood when I said I wanted a night ride. 1.3716 0.04286 218 155 45 18
348 I fall a lot. 1.3710 0.04244 221 157 46 18
349 I feel safer, but I’m afraid to drink any water. 1.3710 0.03783 221 158 48 15
350 Yeah, like that’s the first time I’ve been asked if I’m the Knight Rider. 1.3710 0.04046 221 153 54 14
351 Once I picked out the helmet, I had to get the rest of the outfit. 1.3710 0.04146 221 155 50 16
352 Our club is called, ‘Knights of the Round Tire’. 1.3710 0.04434 221 161 38 22
353 Cycling in the city is bloodsport these days, eh? 1.3710 0.04146 221 155 50 16
354 I'm gonna go midieval on any cars in the bike lane. 1.3710 0.04340 221 159 42 20
355 So I ordered an armoire but got this instead. So close. 1.3709 0.04356 213 152 43 18
356 It’s laundry day. 1.3704 0.04108 216 150 52 14
357 Did it come with an iron-clad warrantee? 1.3704 0.04460 216 157 38 21
358 Did you happen to see a horse go by here? 1.3704 0.04055 216 149 54 13
359 I'm less worried about falls but more worried about rain. 1.3704 0.04262 216 153 46 17
360 Anything’s better than those unsightly bike shorts. 1.3704 0.04108 216 150 52 14
361 You had to ask if my shoulder itches? 1.3704 0.04108 216 150 52 14
362 I haven't met my deductible. 1.3704 0.04313 216 154 44 18
363 Way more eco-friendly than that hay-guzzler I had before. 1.3704 0.04160 216 151 50 15
364 Want to go back to my place? I've got protection. 1.3704 0.04160 216 151 50 15
365 This may look stupid, but's it is still cheaper than paying my health insurance deductible. 1.3704 0.03975 216 156 45 15
366 Leave me alone lady, chivalry is dead. 1.3699 0.04221 219 155 47 17
367 Brooks Brothers, why? 1.3692 0.04079 214 148 53 13
368 On thy left, m'lady 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
369 ‘First Time crossing the Williamsburg Bridge during rush hour?’ 1.3679 0.04157 212 148 50 14
370 But women tell me I look hot. 1.3679 0.04418 212 153 40 19
371 But soft! At yonder light, thou brakest. 1.3679 0.04418 212 153 40 19
372 It doesn't wick very well, does it? 1.3679 0.04315 212 151 44 17
373 Me? I'm training for the Ironman competition. 1.3674 0.04064 215 149 53 13
374 Humm...padded codpiece. Good idea! 1.3654 0.04152 208 145 50 13
375 I'm getting metal fatigue! 1.3654 0.04235 208 152 40 16
376 I think I'm getting rusty 1.3654 0.04208 208 146 48 14
377 We made it past Jeffrey Epstein's building, Mom. 1.3654 0.04578 208 153 34 21
378 Marty, I lost the Delorean 1.3654 0.04628 208 154 32 22
379 I know, but I just really hate spandex. 1.3654 0.04039 208 143 54 11
380 It's hard on the hills, but fantastic in pile-ups. 1.3654 0.04263 208 147 46 15
381 Tricycle mishaps when you're six never leave you! 1.3641 0.04062 206 142 53 11
382 I can’t understand why you spent all that money on a lightweight bike. 1.3641 0.04344 206 147 43 16
383 This bike seat is so uncomfortable. 1.3641 0.04344 206 147 43 16
384 Honestly Harold, don’t you think you’re carrying this renaissance theme too far. 1.3641 0.01054 206 160 38 8
385 Does it wick? 1.3641 0.04398 206 148 41 17
386 What if you fall and can’t get up? 1.3641 0.04177 206 144 49 13
387 I thought you said knight ride. 1.3641 0.04344 206 147 43 16
388 I believe in defensive riding. 1.3641 0.02318 206 155 42 9
389 Sorry I thought you said Knight ride. 1.3627 0.04481 204 148 38 18
390 This isn’t the Iron Man Competition? 1.3627 0.04372 204 146 42 16
391 My knight job is now my day job. 1.3627 0.04535 204 149 36 19
392 If they try to kill the messenger I'm ready! 1.3627 0.04087 204 141 52 11
393 Think I lost some time on the swim leg. 1.3627 0.04145 204 142 50 12
394 God, how ridiculous did that bloke in the green Lycra look? 1.3627 0.04145 204 142 50 12
395 Oh, I thought that is what "Iron Man" meant! 1.3627 0.04260 204 144 46 14
396 I took the meaning of Iron Man Race too literally. 1.3627 0.04027 204 147 44 13
397 I wanted Under Armour, but all they had was Full Body Armour. 1.3627 0.03967 204 149 40 15
398 My other bike is a steed. 1.3614 0.04400 202 145 41 16
399 They ran out of Under Armour. 1.3614 0.04672 202 150 31 21
400 Don't you get metal fatigue? 1.3614 0.03989 202 138 55 9
401 I think you misunderstood Night Rider. 1.3614 0.04111 202 140 51 11
402 Cycling home from work can be pretty tough after a knight shift. 1.3614 0.04020 202 144 46 12
403 Yea, it's heavy; but it's also SPF 1000. 1.3614 0.04344 202 144 43 15
404 I'm not looking forward to the swimming segment. 1.3614 0.04456 202 146 39 17
405 Bike helmets make me look dorky. 1.3614 0.04111 202 140 51 11
406 My ass looks huge in spandex. 1.3614 0.04229 202 142 47 13
407 This is how you survive rush hour traffic as a bike messenger. 1.3614 0.04344 202 144 43 15
408 It was cheaper than my deductible. 1.3604 0.04116 197 136 51 10
409 Hold on. Got some a-hole giving me the evil eye for phoning while riding. 1.3600 0.03981 200 141 48 11
410 By chance have you seen the dragon from last weeks cartoon? 1.3600 0.04541 200 151 29 20
411 I’ve gotta pull over and get the bugs out my grille. 1.3600 0.04136 200 144 43 13
412 No, my mother isn't over-protective. Why do you ask?" 1.3600 0.04372 200 143 42 15
413 First time biking on the Brooklyn Bridge? 1.3600 0.04372 200 145 39 16
414 So... you prefer heat rash to road rash? 1.3600 0.03011 200 141 54 5
415 What? I thought you said a bike and shining armor! 1.3600 0.04541 200 146 36 18
416 Sure, I sweat a lot, but I also do more damage to cabs than they do to me. 1.3586 0.04283 198 140 45 13
417 It helps if you're going to ignore traffic signals. 1.3586 0.04401 198 142 41 15
418 No, once again, this is not Medieval Knievel! 1.3586 0.04401 198 142 41 15
419 This is nothing. You should see me in my yoga class. 1.3586 0.04222 198 139 47 12
420 I said buy UNDERarmor! 1.3586 0.04222 198 139 47 12
421 Technically it's not historically accurate, but have you seen the price of horses? 1.3586 0.04161 198 138 49 11
422 It lowers my health insurance premium. 1.3586 0.04572 198 145 35 18
423 The City Council has really gotten out of control with these new helmet laws. 1.3571 0.04249 196 138 46 12
424 Now they worry they may damage their car. 1.3571 0.04430 196 141 40 15
425 My horse got a flat so I had to improvise. 1.3571 0.04430 196 141 40 15
426 We're riding through the Bronx; I want to be prepared. 1.3571 0.04124 196 136 50 10
427 Safe, sure. But try to find an armor-friendly restroom. 1.3571 0.04249 196 138 46 12
428 It works best at full tilt. 1.3571 0.04187 196 137 48 11
429 Last I remembered, I told Merlin to make my lance and armor strong. 1.3571 0.04771 196 147 28 21
430 No one respects the bike lane anymore. 1.3571 0.04604 196 144 34 18
431 You missed the Camelot exit. 1.3571 0.04187 196 137 48 11
432 Who needs reflectors when you have shining armor. 1.3557 0.04369 194 141 38 15
433 Dress for the job you want. 1.3557 0.04338 194 141 39 14
434 Yeah, it’s great as long as it doesn’t rain. 1.3557 0.04213 194 136 47 11
435 I mean, I'd prefer a bike lane. 1.3557 0.04459 194 140 39 15
436 'Find a Unicorn' they said. 'It'll be a fun quest,' they said. 1.3542 0.04428 192 138 40 14
437 It's arrow dynamic. 1.3542 0.04142 192 141 37 14
438 It's not an entirely accurate reenactment. 1.3542 0.04076 192 140 39 13
439 Your first time on the 405? 1.3542 0.04550 192 140 36 16
440 Working knights? 1.3542 0.04366 192 137 42 13
441 Middle Age is just a number. 1.3542 0.04550 192 140 36 16
442 It's rain, car, and cab resistant. 1.3542 0.04240 192 135 46 11
443 You’re saying Under Armour is something different? 1.3542 0.04366 192 137 42 13
444 If you didn't want to be seen biking with me all you had to do was say so. 1.3526 0.04458 190 137 39 14
445 Mom, I still don’t see how taking knight classes is supposed to help me get a job... 1.3526 0.04520 190 138 37 15
446 You must be new to New York. 1.3526 0.04331 190 135 43 12
447 Yup. I'm an urban legend. 1.3526 0.04581 190 139 35 16
448 I gotta tell you... one knight stands are the BEST! 1.3526 0.04701 190 141 31 18
449 I know it won't save me but the next car that runs me over is going to have a costly dent 1.3526 0.04134 190 132 49 9
450 Lance!? 1.3526 0.03927 190 129 55 6
451 It's time for drivers to fear the cyclists. 1.3526 0.04458 190 137 39 14
452 ''Yikes, I've got to rescue a damsel in ten minutes.'' 1.3526 0.04395 190 136 41 13
453 I couldn't resist the free shipping. 1.3526 0.04520 190 138 37 15
454 The uphills are brutal but the downhills are fantastic! 1.3526 0.04331 190 135 43 12
455 I am my mom's only child. 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
456 WD40 break?? 1.3526 0.04395 190 136 41 13
457 How did you know this was my first century? 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
458 No, Ma, I'm NOT wearing a mouthguard! 1.3526 0.04581 190 139 35 16
459 I know there are no dragons. You know there are no dragons. But do the dragons know? 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
460 I'll take it off as soon as my Mother cannot see us 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
461 I told you I have a knight job. 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
462 You did bring the WD-40 didn’t you Lois!!? 1.3511 0.04294 188 133 44 11
463 I said “night ride!” 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
464 Yes, ‘tis true. Biking is both a noble quest and a pain in the butt. 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
465 I said UNDER armour is good for biking. 1.3511 0.04795 188 141 28 19
466 I don’t care what time it is. The Knight is young and I’m on my way over. 1.3511 0.04675 188 139 32 17
467 This chain mail wedgy is driving me nuts! 1.3511 0.04227 188 132 46 10
468 It also repels White House tweets. 1.3511 0.04489 188 136 38 14
469 I'm training for the Tinman competition 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
470 I don’t know about you, but I heard your coach say train IN Under Armour, not UNDER armor. 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
471 It's not that kind of ironman competition.... 1.3511 0.04614 188 138 34 16
472 I'm in the extreme witless witness protection program. 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
473 When I said 'Let's go for a night bike ride,' I never expected THIS! 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
474 I prefer over armor. 1.3511 0.03102 188 146 31 11
475 Now when they honk, I just say 'Ni!' 1.3511 0.04227 188 132 46 10
476 Now if I don't crash, I'll feel cheated. 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
477 It's from a company called OverArmor 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
478 I bet I can beat you to the bottom of the hill. 1.3511 0.03688 188 142 33 13
479 It suits you. 1.3511 0.04227 188 132 46 10
480 Because lycra looks ridiculous. 1.3511 0.04294 188 133 44 11
481 Don't you know that fashion is cyclical? 1.3511 0.04227 188 132 46 10
482 Prithee, I be on thy left, my lady. 1.3511 0.04489 188 136 38 14
483 Lancelot Armstrong, milady. 1.3511 0.04360 188 134 42 12
484 Have you seen a dragon on a unicycle? 1.3511 0.04457 188 138 35 15
485 I got bullied as a kid. 1.3511 0.02711 188 141 39 8
486 Our studio isn't as spacious as the tower but at least we moved out of her mother's place 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
487 I’m a little rusty 1.3511 0.04425 188 135 40 13
488 I’m a bit worried about the swimming part of the Ironman. 1.3511 0.04735 188 143 27 18
489 I feel ridiculous without my lance. 1.3511 0.04056 188 134 44 10
490 My other ride is at the vet. 1.3511 0.04552 188 137 36 15
491 These new bike lanes are worse than running the gauntlet. 1.3511 0.04294 188 133 44 11
492 They said it was an Ironman Competition 1.3508 0.04439 191 138 39 14
493 Are you sure this road will lead to Queens? 1.3495 0.04708 186 138 31 17
494 So I realized, some day my prince WON'T come, and decided to be more proactive. 1.3495 0.04455 186 134 39 13
495 I sure hope it doesn't rain. 1.3495 0.04186 186 130 47 9
496 Uber armor 1.3495 0.04255 186 138 36 12
497 Of course it's a steel frame. 1.3495 0.04583 186 136 35 15
498 As part of my cruelty-free knight services, I don't so much "slay" dragons as I "relocate" them to their native habitats. 1.3495 0.04519 186 135 37 14
499 Yes...you actually can be too safe. 1.3495 0.04583 186 136 35 15
500 I just wish I could shower and change once I get to work. 1.3495 0.04583 186 136 35 15
501 I meant that our biking group is middle aged. 1.3495 0.04455 186 134 39 13
502 A horse, a horse! My fiefdom for a horse! 1.3495 0.03861 186 141 33 12
503 Do you know how expensive it is to board a horse in the city? 1.3495 0.04255 186 131 45 10
504 Ask me if I care whether a self-driving car would stop for me. 1.3495 0.04519 186 135 37 14
505 Recycling the old Crysler seemed like a great idea. 1.3495 0.04389 186 133 41 12
506 Of course I know how, I'm just a little rusty. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
507 No, the Renaissance Fair was last week 1.3495 0.03422 186 139 37 10
508 True, the aerodynamics are great, but I'm a tad concerned about the swimming portion." 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
509 Aren't you glad you weren't raised by my mother? 1.3495 0.04708 186 138 31 17
510 I admire your mettle. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
511 It's my personal quest so don't judge. 1.3495 0.03823 186 140 33 13
512 I dress for the job I want. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
513 Just on my way to my knight job. 1.3495 0.04519 186 135 37 14
514 My commute doesn’t have any bike lanes. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
515 I've been invited to the Round Table for lunch. 1.3495 0.04255 186 134 41 11
516 It doesn't breathe, but it's very durable and stain resistant. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
517 I'm only wearing Under Armour today. 1.3495 0.04583 186 136 35 15
518 It's even more difficult in yoga class. 1.3495 0.04455 186 134 39 13
519 On your lefte. 1.3495 0.04708 186 138 31 17
520 I started with ankle weights then I guess I got carried away. 1.3495 0.04519 186 135 37 14
521 I'm late for the caption contest of two weeks ago 1.3483 0.04794 178 132 30 16
522 You wouldn't believe my cell reception. 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
523 When I said Middle Age I was referring to the difficulty level. 1.3478 0.03521 184 138 36 10
524 I thought this was an Iron Man competition. 1.3478 0.04247 184 137 33 14
525 Me? I 'm going to New Jersey 1.3478 0.04551 184 134 36 14
526 'The helmet is mandatory; the rest is just a matching outfit.' 1.3478 0.04351 184 131 42 11
527 Might you be in distress? 1.3476 0.04499 187 136 37 14
528 Can I at least be your knight on a shiny bicycle? 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
529 Sure, there’s chaffing. But it’s worth the peace of mind when riding in the city. 1.3462 0.03980 182 137 32 13
530 Jousting hasn't been the same since I made the switch. 1.3462 0.04239 182 128 45 9
531 When I asked you to wear protection, I didn't have this in mind. 1.3462 0.04380 182 130 41 11
532 Dressing for the job you want has its disadvantages. 1.3462 0.04714 182 135 31 16
533 Yeah, well, "Polycarbonate Man" just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.3462 0.04449 182 131 39 12
534 Yeah, it's heavy, but I have one of those "Help I have fallen and I can't get up" buttons 1.3462 0.04449 182 131 39 12
535 I can’t believe it! This woman next to me is dressed like she’s in the Tour de France. People are so crazy these days. 1.3459 0.04193 185 130 46 9
536 Crazy, right? I was going for Steampunk and wound up totally Renaissance. 1.3459 0.04465 185 134 38 13
537 I'm wearing Under Armour too. 1.3444 0.04409 180 139 25 16
538 Bought it from some guy named Arthur. 1.3444 0.04338 180 128 42 10
539 I know it's insane but so are these unprotected bike lanes. 1.3444 0.04409 180 129 40 11
540 It's not about safety. It's about being noticed. 1.3444 0.03965 180 131 40 9
541 Why does everyone assume I'm from Connecticut? 1.3444 0.04479 180 130 38 12
542 Yes, I was overprotected as a child. Why do you ask? 1.3444 0.04374 180 131 37 12
543 It’s actually carbon fiber. 1.3427 0.04510 178 129 37 12
544 Look, it’s Central Park. I’m taking no chances. 1.3427 0.04510 178 129 37 12
545 It's allowed me to get off the pill. 1.3427 0.04915 178 135 25 18
546 If you must know, I got the suit from an armadillo in Amarillo. The hair came from a fair in Bonaire. I stole the bike. 1.3427 0.04850 178 134 27 17
547 ...Because I realized the similarity between being hit by a jousting lance and a car door. 1.3427 0.04439 178 128 39 11
548 Okay, so I ordered the wrong 'Night Rider' outfit. 1.3427 0.03698 178 138 27 13
549 Can't talk now. I'm in a different dimension. 1.3427 0.04649 178 131 33 14
550 I’ve found that ‘protected bike lane’ is a misnomer. 1.3427 0.04294 178 126 43 9
551 I thought they said this CBD stuff wasn't psychoactive. 1.3427 0.04717 178 132 31 15
552 Yeah but I’m still ahead of you. 1.3409 0.04170 176 123 46 7
553 The boss man replaced ‘Casual Friday’ with ‘Cavalier Friday.’ 1.3409 0.04011 176 121 50 5
554 Have you seen a scarecrow with a lion around here? 1.3409 0.04470 176 127 38 11
555 I hope this works. There are a lot of dogs on my route. 1.3409 0.04397 176 126 40 10
556 Yeah, the carbon fiber frame really cuts down on weight. 1.3409 0.04542 176 128 36 12
557 You must not know about the pigeons. 1.3409 0.04752 176 131 30 15
558 Does it wick well? 1.3409 0.04247 176 124 44 8
559 You're wearing Under Armor, I'm wearing Over Armor. 1.3409 0.04470 176 127 38 11
560 One too many potholes. 1.3409 0.04397 176 126 40 10
561 Medieval exercise is the new caveman diet. 1.3409 0.04322 176 125 42 9
562 Weight training, aerobics, and self defense - all in one! 1.3409 0.04322 176 125 42 9
563 It does wonders for right of way. 1.3409 0.04470 176 127 38 11
564 Not only that, but the SPF is like, super-high! 1.3391 0.04501 174 126 37 11
565 There are no bike lanes in my neighborhood. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
566 To seek and find the holy grail, obviously. 1.3391 0.04501 174 126 37 11
567 Yes, it's true. One day your prince will come, but not today. Now beat it. 1.3391 0.04682 174 131 28 15
568 Why yes, I am training for an Ironman. 1.3391 0.04718 174 129 31 14
569 I'm feeling a bit rusty today. 1.3391 0.04351 174 124 41 9
570 Hey, buddy, I think you missed your turn centuries ago. 1.3391 0.04427 174 125 39 10
571 It's a little heavier than spandex but not as silly-looking. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
572 I spent a lot of time in the Turret de France. 1.3391 0.04427 174 125 39 10
573 We don't do plastic where I come from 1.3391 0.04718 174 129 31 14
574 I’m on my way to Canada just in case this piece of shit gets re-elected. 1.3391 0.04274 174 133 27 14
575 Yeah, I know, but to get the cheapest personal health insurance rate... 1.3391 0.04427 174 130 31 13
576 Which century ride? 1.3391 0.04427 174 125 39 10
577 It’s available in carbon, Kevlar, and titanium actually. 1.3391 0.04427 174 125 39 10
578 Trying to ride with this helmet is feudal. 1.3391 0.04787 174 130 29 15
579 Strip-o-gram at Belvedere Castle. 1.3373 0.03927 169 125 35 9
580 Metal to the pedal! 1.3372 0.04681 172 127 32 13
581 It's a one-steed. 1.3372 0.03799 172 131 33 8
582 I'm allergic to horses. 1.3372 0.04533 172 125 36 11
583 Although I still regret misinterpreting "Ironman", it's not so bad now that I've completed the swim portion. 1.3372 0.04533 172 125 36 11
584 Yes, it's my first Iron Man. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
585 Yes, I'm a knight of the round tire. 1.3372 0.04753 172 128 30 14
586 It was either this or a ridiculous deductible. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
587 You know they make reflective biking gear now, right? 1.3372 0.04302 172 122 42 8
588 I'm telling you, I'm gonna get this "Medieval Kneivel" thing to stick. 1.3372 0.04824 172 129 28 15
589 It's uncomfortable, tiresome, and slow. On the plus side, no manure. 1.3372 0.04302 172 122 42 8
590 Passing on your left 600 years ago. 1.3372 0.04342 172 125 37 10
591 Forsooth my lady: I passeth on thy left. Fare-thee-well. 1.3372 0.04681 172 127 32 13
592 I know most people sign a waiver. But I'm self insured. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
593 I just wear a helmut now that there are dedicated bike lanes." 1.3372 0.03754 172 125 40 7
594 It prevents inner thigh chaffing and crotch soreness but the downside is rust. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
595 It’s my anti-fast-fashion clothing line: Over Armour. 1.3372 0.03754 172 128 35 9
596 Who said you need to stop riding a bike in the city just because you don't have health insurance? 1.3372 0.04608 172 126 34 12
597 I'm really regretting those garlic fries right now. 1.3372 0.04681 172 127 32 13
598 My horse is on maternity leave." 1.3333 0.04776 174 131 28 15
599 Chastity belt's the worst. 1.3333 0.04837 171 129 27 15
600 So this English guy calls, and asks for delivery by a fort knight. 1.3333 0.04692 171 127 31 13
601 Omigosh, it started when I got some chain mail. 1.3314 0.04801 169 127 28 14
602 'Tis I, Lancelot Armstrong." 1.3314 0.05016 169 130 22 17
603 I'm a bit rusty. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
604 You dropped your Lance, Armstrong!!! 1.3314 0.04576 169 124 34 11
605 Sounds like you need to oil your chain-mail! 1.3314 0.04339 169 121 40 8
606 Don't worry, the steel is organic AND Fair Trade! 1.3314 0.04727 169 126 30 13
607 So I said to her 'Don't stare at me like that. You're the one who said you wanted a knight in shining armour'. Then she just did one of those shrugs and left. 1.3314 0.04727 169 126 30 13
608 I'm chafed in places I didn't think were possible. 1.3314 0.04727 169 126 30 13
609 Can I borrow your water bottle? Mine's filled with oil. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
610 Wow! I thought I had the oldest riding gear around. Where'd you get that fanny pack? 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
611 Did you expect me to say something cheesy like “Nice knight for a ride”? 1.3314 0.04001 169 117 48 4
612 Why am I wearing plate armor? Because my chain mail kept getting caught in the front gear. 1.3314 0.04419 169 122 38 9
613 It's the only sunblock guaranteed to work. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
614 I haven’t quite recovered from the end of Game of Thrones. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
615 You did say a Knight ride didn't you? 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
616 SPF 200 1.3293 0.03840 167 126 32 9
617 See? When it gets hot, I can lift the visor. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
618 When I court a lady, I do it old school. 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
619 UNDER Armor? What's that? 1.3293 0.04838 167 126 27 14
620 My noble stead’s in the shop. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
621 With everything going on in the world, a tin-foil hat wasn't enough. 1.3293 0.04609 167 123 33 11
622 They said it was a Knight Ride!? 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
623 I just got tired of the cat-calling 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
624 Oh, they didn't say "metal to the pedal" ? 1.3293 0.04284 167 125 32 10
625 I heard there was going to be a Trump rally. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
626 Can you please stop critiquing my form? I know I'm a little rusty. 1.3293 0.04609 167 123 33 11
627 Not everybody can pull off spandex. 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
628 My time? My time was 500 years ago. 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
629 How many times have you been hit by a car? 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
630 It was cheaper than buying healthcare. 1.3293 0.04609 167 123 33 11
631 The battle starts in 15 minutes. Pick up the pace, sweetheart! 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
632 You should consider upgrading to carbon fiber. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
633 He's in pretty good shape for being middle-aged 1.3293 0.04746 164 122 30 12
634 It's from the Met's fall collection 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
635 Well, they said it was an iron man race. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
636 I’m training for the Iron Man 1.3293 0.04901 164 124 26 14
637 It's OK Mom. It's just a bike ride in the park for a first date, and yes, I bought protection in case he has ideas. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
638 Let’s see that junkyard dog try to bite me now. 1.3293 0.04462 164 121 33 10
639 It’s my day-to-knight look. 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
640 There's something weird about this city. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
641 Daily. But lately I’ve been riding knightly. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
642 I find it breathes better than lycra. 1.3293 0.04247 164 116 42 6
643 This isn't how I expected to meet my knight in shining armor. 1.3273 0.04876 165 125 26 14
644 You have any WD-40?” Don Dechman - Austin, TX 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
645 What makes you suspect that I’m the one who used a lance to knock your friend off her bike? 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
646 They did say iron man. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
647 'Excuse me, where did you get your water bottle?' 1.3273 0.03955 165 128 28 9
648 See ya'. I have a lunch reservation at The Algonquin. 1.3273 0.04643 165 122 32 11
649 Without the whole gear, the helmet alone makes me look ridiculous. 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
650 ..and I never got back on that horse again. 1.3273 0.04682 165 125 27 13
651 Can we stop at White Castle? 1.3273 0.04313 165 125 29 11
652 I thought you said we should ride all knight 1.3273 0.04313 165 128 24 13
653 I should be making better time but I’m a little rusty! 1.3273 0.04138 165 118 41 6
654 I’m in training for my first Ironman. 1.3273 0.04643 165 122 32 11
655 Yes, he said 'knight shift,' but it was over the phone. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
656 I hate when our boss plans a battle on Bike to Work Day. 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
657 The downhills are great. 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
658 Yes, it is heavy, but it works better than your underarmor. 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
659 Over Armour® just doesn't have the same appeal. 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
660 you could have worn sunscreen, ya know. 1.3272 0.04536 162 118 35 9
661 'Jesus, Fred, you were supposed to buy Under Armour.' 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
662 Get jousted just once and you'll understand 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
663 I read the consumer warning that came with the bike. 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
664 After this I'm going to my serf lesson 1.3272 0.04702 162 120 31 11
665 Wow, and I thought I looked like an asshole. 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
666 I could get used to this horseless horse. 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
667 It’s the only way I feel safe on the road with all those scooters. 1.3272 0.04862 162 122 27 13
668 You must be from out of town. 1.3272 0.04862 162 122 27 13
669 It produced too much methane. 1.3272 0.04091 162 117 39 6
670 It’s an airbag for bicycles. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
671 Training for the Ironman?!? 1.3272 0.04862 162 122 27 13
672 On ye lefte, peasant 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
673 Swimming can be the toughest part of an Iron Man Triathalon. 1.3272 0.04862 162 122 27 13
674 Why stop at a helmet? 1.3272 0.04702 162 120 31 11
675 On the bright side: no more dry-cleaning! 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
676 It's an advantage in this leg of the triathlon, but I'm worried about running. 1.3272 0.04702 162 120 31 11
677 If someone tries to hit me I'm taking the car with me. 1.3250 0.03920 160 120 32 8
678 You think that plastic helmet's gonna help you? 1.3250 0.04820 160 120 28 12
679 I had no idea there was a Tour de Camelot. 1.3250 0.04980 160 122 24 14
680 It's a low budget sequel to Knight Rider. 1.3250 0.04980 160 122 24 14
681 Well, it’s practical, and I’m Mitch McConnell’s daughter. 1.3250 0.04901 160 121 26 13
682 Embarrassing? Well, the drivers are too busy with their phones to notice me anyway… 1.3250 0.05059 160 123 22 15
683 First time on the parkway? 1.3250 0.04820 160 120 28 12
684 I had to buy it. This was the only model with a codpiece. 1.3250 0.04738 160 119 30 11
685 It's no more stupid than your outfit! 1.3250 0.04654 160 118 32 10
686 I went in for a new helmet and they sold me the matching protective suit half-price 1.3250 0.04569 160 117 34 9
687 My horse quit to work for Uber. 1.3250 0.04696 160 121 27 12
688 SPF 1 million. 1.3250 0.04980 160 122 24 14
689 PETA won’t let me joust with a horse anymore. 1.3250 0.04738 160 119 30 11
690 It's like a horse, but you don't have to feed it. 1.3250 0.04482 160 116 36 8
691 Jousting is great, but getting there is a pain. 1.3250 0.04569 160 117 34 9
692 I can win if I make my lance arm strong. 1.3250 0.04980 160 122 24 14
693 I stared feeling bad for the horse. 1.3250 0.04738 160 119 30 11
694 My mom worries a lot... 1.3230 0.04458 161 117 36 8
695 It's vintage athleisure. 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
696 The good news is I no longer fear Dodge Chargers. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
697 It's SPF 1150 AD 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
698 I'm pretty sure the clanking is on your end. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
699 Oh! You meant "night riding". 1.3208 0.03922 159 125 23 11
700 I said let's go for a night ride not a knight ride. 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
701 I want to be noticed, and I hate the way my butt looks in spandex. 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
702 This is New York City, so, no, I'm not overdoing it 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
703 I‘m the original knight rider! 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
704 I didn't spell-check my order for Under Armour. 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
705 Do you quest here often? 1.3208 0.04913 159 121 25 13
706 Because it's much cheaper than health insurance. 1.3205 0.04454 156 113 36 7
707 How did you guess I have an over protective mother? 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
708 Thou shalt not pass! 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
709 I say we call it a knight. 1.3205 0.04454 156 113 36 7
710 First time biking in the city, eh? 1.3205 0.04360 156 115 34 7
711 It’s not so bad, but I passed on the matching bike shorts. 1.3205 0.04811 156 117 28 11
712 I though you said you wanted to go for a knight ride. 1.3205 0.04897 156 118 26 12
713 Now that the swimming portion of the triathlon is over, I'm not too worried about the rest. 1.3203 0.04315 153 109 39 5
714 I have meetings today, so I have to wear a suit. 1.3203 0.04964 153 116 25 12
715 You're either an extra in Spamalot or just assuming you'll be hit in an unprotected bike lane. 1.3203 0.03669 153 118 27 8
716 Horse's day off! 1.3203 0.04214 153 112 35 6
717 It IS my first time in the big city. How could you tell? 1.3203 0.04510 153 111 35 7
718 I said N-I-G-H-T ride! 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
719 I just feel like such an anachronism. 1.3203 0.04510 153 111 35 7
720 Is that a water bottle or an oil can? 1.3203 0.04414 153 110 37 6
721 Didn't you use to ride with a Lance? 1.3203 0.04510 153 111 35 7
722 Wow! That’s not exactly what I meant when I said I had a thing for Night Rider. 1.3203 0.04788 153 114 29 10
723 It's so hard to rent a horse in the city. 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
724 OK, got it. Algonquin, main dining room, usual table, noon. I'm on my way! 1.3203 0.04697 153 113 31 9
725 I was able to do the running portion, and the biking part is going well, but I'm worried about the swimming part! 1.3203 0.04697 153 113 31 9
726 Why stop with a tin foil hat? 1.3203 0.04414 153 115 29 9
727 On thy right, m'lady! 1.3203 0.04510 153 111 35 7
728 I've been invited to a Republican cocktail party; I just want to be safe. 1.3203 0.04964 153 116 25 12
729 I'm training to be an Iron Man. 1.3203 0.04877 153 115 27 11
730 It's the only way I'll get the full discount from my HMO. 1.3203 0.04877 153 115 27 11
731 Nice knight for a bike ride! 1.3203 0.04788 153 114 29 10
732 Pothole and a time vortex up ahead on your right. 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
733 It was an eco-decision, really. Fiery steeds drop a lot of manure. 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
734 I said I just wanted a helmet but they threw in the whole suit for free! 1.3203 0.04964 153 116 25 12
735 You said it was Joust around the corner 1.3185 0.04522 157 115 34 8
736 Trying to decide which is worse, road rash or heat rash. 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
737 You never listen, I said “under” armor. 1.3182 0.04579 154 113 33 8
738 No, I'm not jesting. 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
739 I circle the park because I'm Sir Cumference... 1.3182 0.04579 154 113 33 8
740 I miss my steed. 1.3182 0.04761 154 115 29 10
741 Jousting horses have a surprisingly large carbon footprint. 1.3182 0.04671 154 114 31 9
742 "I moved here for the knight life, but so far it's been pretty disappointing!" 1.3182 0.04390 154 111 37 6
743 Maybe you're starting to break down my armor. 1.3182 0.04849 154 116 27 11
744 I'm a crusader for bike lanes. 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
745 It beats the hassle of changing at fencing class." 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
746 Only problem is the rain 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
747 Mark my words, this will be the goat yoga of the 2020s. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
748 I thought I told you it was a knight ride. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
749 All this, and I still swallowed a fly! 1.3179 0.04444 151 109 36 6
750 It's like riding a horse. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
751 umm...when I suggested a night ride... 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
752 My ass still hurts. 1.3179 0.03305 151 112 36 3
753 Biking in this city is war. 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
754 Easy... Cars, bullets, dogs. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
755 Oh, you said Under Armour? 1.3179 0.04916 151 114 26 11
756 There is a city wide dragon alert. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
757 I'll put my metal to the pedal and be there soon. 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
758 With all the distracted drivers out there, just a helmet doesn't cut it anymore! 1.3168 0.04698 161 121 29 11
759 You don't need to be my knight in shining armor everywhere we go. 1.3168 0.04443 161 118 35 8
760 Trust me, you'll never look back once you start using a helmet with a visor. 1.3158 0.04518 152 111 34 7
761 Are you hot? I'm hot. 1.3158 0.04518 152 111 34 7
762 It’s called overarmor! 1.3158 0.04888 152 115 26 11
763 You're safer behind me going downhill. 1.3158 0.04420 152 110 36 6
764 Wuddaya mean the mail must go through? 1.3158 0.04707 152 113 30 9
765 You said I'd 'hit the wall' after 20 miles... I'm ready! 1.3158 0.04707 152 113 30 9
766 I like to think I'm reriding history. 1.3158 0.04613 152 112 32 8
767 Meet you at the round table 1.3158 0.04320 152 109 38 5
768 It's a requirement to keep my life insurance policy valid 1.3158 0.04888 152 115 26 11
769 Tell Trump to "Go Fuck Himself" 1.3158 0.05233 152 119 18 15
770 I'm a bit rusty, but I can still do a pretty fast loop unless it rains! 1.3158 0.04707 152 113 30 9
771 I said you should wear Under Armour, not be under armour. 1.3158 0.04707 152 113 30 9
772 The swim didn't sink me, so I'm feeling pretty good about the marathon. 1.3158 0.04518 152 111 34 7
773 Oh, Under Armour 1.3154 0.04268 149 106 39 4
774 I balance the toxic masculinity with a touch of environmentalism. 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
775 Wait, so what do you mean when you say Under Armor? 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
776 Yes. Bicycle Jousting. 1.3154 0.04625 149 114 25 10
777 When we turn left on Broadway, watch out for the jackass on the big white horse who is always talking on his phone. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
778 This isn't King's Highway? 1.3154 0.04425 149 110 32 7
779 You said dress for a rough ride. 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
780 Be honest — do you really wear all the clothes in your closet? 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
781 I didn't realize you said I should try wearing UNDER Armor 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
782 I'm training for the Ironman Triathlon. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
783 Well, people look at you funny when you ride a horse these days 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
784 I find I only need the lance during my commute. 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
785 You do realize we’re entering New York? 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
786 It's a new brand of protective outerwear. "Over-Armor." 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
787 Think you’re taking the helmet law a bit far? 1.3154 0.04373 149 107 37 5
788 My rape armor. I'm riding by Trump Tower. 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
789 It's obvious you haven't been doored! 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
790 I had to... I’m sponsored by Over Armour. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
791 I've been one with the pavement once too often. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
792 Sorry, I came here straight from work. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
793 When I said we should meet for a night ride, I didn’t mean it literally. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
794 Putting your pedal to the metal, I see. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
795 They’ve added a triathlon to the renaissance festival . 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
796 I don’t know. What do you think an "ironman" is? 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
797 Have you good knight vision? 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
798 I heard the ticks are really bad this year. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
799 It was a great offer and the helmet is free! 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
800 It's Tour de France, not War de France. 1.3154 0.04268 149 106 39 4
801 Yes, Mom, I remembered my helmet. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
802 Ride up beside me, will ya? and oil my knee. 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
803 I think you misunderstood the "Ironman" concept. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
804 Ya, and I paid $7,000. for this eleven pound bike. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
805 You did say get under armor. 1.3133 0.04928 150 114 25 11
806 Don't look, I used to pillage that city... 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
807 I've just been feeling so vulnerable lately 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
808 Heavy metal thrills me, you too? 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
809 The heat's not so bad. It's the humidity that gets you. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
810 Yes I’ve confirmed the reservation tonight for the Round Table and yes you have a seat. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
811 You forgot your Pike. 1.3133 0.05018 150 115 23 12
812 I’m telling you Joan, the Tour De France is for men only. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
813 They put in a new jousting lane through downtown. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
814 It's only until the cars are driving themselves. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
815 I'm here to rescue you from bad drivers. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
816 I think you've taken your obsession with Knight Rider a bit too far. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
817 M'lady, my eyes are up here. 1.3129 0.04130 147 106 37 4
818 The City as testing these as a cheaper alternative to putting in bike lanes. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
819 What?! Girls always say they're looking for a knight in shining armor! 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
820 A Raleigh, I presume. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
821 Arthur, I want a divorce. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
822 Did I mention all the pigeons in the park? 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
823 It has its drawbacks but I'm never less than 5 bars. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
824 You do know that swimming is the next leg of the triathlon? 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
825 The things you do for insurance discounts. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
826 Ever since they voted not to put in a bike lane. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
827 Wait, so when you said you go on a nightly ride ... 1.3129 0.04130 147 110 29 7
828 The Game of Thrones protest is just ahead on the left. 1.3129 0.05181 147 114 20 13
829 Someone needed to restore chivalry to city biking. 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
830 We’re having a round table at the office. 1.3125 0.05165 144 111 21 12
831 It’s a lightweight aluminum frame 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
832 I am your knight in Shimano armor. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
833 It's Lancelot. I gotta take this. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
834 I'm training for the Tour de Lance. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
835 I just got a gig at the Museum. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
836 It's called passive safety. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
837 You're right. Chain mail would have been the better choice. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
838 It's hard to be a saint in the city. Much less a knight in shining armor 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
839 Are you in distress perchance? 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
840 I know it won't save my life, but I want to cause some damage if a drunk, distracted, or angry road hog hits me. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
841 It's the Ironman Triathlon, what don't you get? 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
842 There were too many damsels that were distressed. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
843 Yesterday I was passed by a truck driver with a burger in one hand, a phone in the other and a crazed grin on her face. Enough said, right? 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
844 Maybe I did misinterpret what this Ironman competition was all about. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
845 I feel safer, but I can only really ride downhill. 1.3056 0.04213 144 109 29 6
846 I was shopping for Under Armour cycling gear and hit ‘’buy now” by accident. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
847 I think you're looking for the IRONMAN race, not the TinMan race. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
848 It's great to finally meet someone emotionally available. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
849 'Tis my horse's mandatory one-hour lunch break. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
850 Training for the Ironman is harder than what I thought. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
851 The suit of armor was cheaper then my deductible.. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
852 It pairs really well with the Paleo diet... 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
853 So I said, look like a damn fool, or die. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
854 My Under Armour didn't work out so well. So, I thought I would give Over Armor a try. 1.3056 0.05241 144 113 18 13
855 It’s no more uncomfortable than the seat. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
856 Get a horse! 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
857 My new sponsor wants me to peddle his ‘Over Armour’ riding gear. 1.3056 0.05147 144 112 20 12
858 I knew I’d be training for the Ironman Triathlon, but this is ridiculous. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
859 Once I bought the helmet, I couldn’t resist getting the whole ensemble. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
860 Tough neighborhood 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
861 Thank goodness for Under Armour. 1.3056 0.05147 144 112 20 12
862 It’s OK on the open road , but once you get into the cycle lanes you need all the protection you can get! 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
863 There will be a guard from the Metropolitan Museum coming up behind us shortly. There's a miniature Van Dyck in it for you if you cut him off. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
864 Damn! I knew I signed up for the wrong Ironman. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
865 This whole safety-versus-fashion thing is a false choice. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
866 Knight rider on your left, fair maiden 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
867 I'm sponsored by over armor. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
868 What do you mean, this is not the Tour de Lance ? 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
869 I am just going to knight school . 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
870 When you follow a Cartoon Caption Contest with a dragon, you have to be prepared. 1.3056 0.04213 144 103 38 3
871 Well, my Under Armour's in the wash. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
872 If I win the big prize at the joust, I'm upgrading to a Prius. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
873 Reduce - Reuse - Recycle! 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
874 I'm following Rail to Trail to Grail 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
875 What, you've never heard of knight rider before? 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
876 I don't think that's what they mean by an iron main competition 1.3056 0.03159 144 115 22 7
877 Because horses don’t belong in the city. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
878 When I said ‘suit up,’ I had thought you understood in what context. 1.3056 0.04438 144 110 26 8
879 So you know how the brakes work, right? 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
880 The best part is, these greaves never get caught in the chain! 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
881 Sorry, I’ll be out of here in a second. Just passing from one wormhole to the next. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
882 Did you hear thunder? 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
883 I'm ready for the commute home during the rush-hour traffic! 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
884 If you knew my mom . . . 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
885 You ever try to cross through West & Albany at rush hour? 1.3050 0.04495 141 103 33 5
886 I prefer to joust with oncoming traffic. 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
887 I thought it would look more sophisticated than training wheels. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
888 My insurance carrier is really strict. 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
889 Look, I am just on the way to slay a dragon on Fifth Ave., and defend the princess shopping there. Keep up with the times! 1.3050 0.04715 141 105 29 7
890 There is the chafing, sure, but honestly it's the only safe way to bike to work in Seattle." 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
891 Yeah, I'm the Knight Rider, nice to meet thee. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
892 It's nice to see a Citi biker wearing a helmet for once! 1.3050 0.05027 141 108 23 10
893 Now, when I go down, I give the 'rash' to the road. 1.3050 0.04715 141 105 29 7
894 I think that minivan got the worst of it. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
895 I thought sunglasses would look ridiculous with this outfit. 1.3050 0.04551 141 106 28 7
896 It's like Uber, but for jousting 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
897 My contact lenses are bothering me. 1.3050 0.05027 141 108 23 10
898 Well, I tried to rent a horse 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
899 These new lightweight rims make the commute so much easier. 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
900 My mom is a stickler for safety 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
901 You know you can just stop at the red lights, right? 1.3050 0.04715 141 105 29 7
902 I got doored two times too many 1.3050 0.04495 141 103 33 5
903 Do these make my butt look medieval? 1.3050 0.05321 141 111 17 13
904 Chivalry isn't dead, it's just out of shape. 1.3050 0.04495 141 108 25 8
905 It’s less aerodynamic than lycra, but at least it’s recycled! 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
906 My lady, can you direct me to a blacksmith shop so that I can use the mens room? 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
907 Long sword? In a lake? Appeared to Arthur? Yes, that's mine. Can you hold it 'til 5? 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
908 Sure it's heavy, but I totaled a truck once and didn't get a scratch. 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
909 This is much better than the drawbridge. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
910 Mail delivery. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
911 Remind me to pick up the mail on our way back. 1.3022 0.04167 139 109 22 8
912 I plan on falling. 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
913 It was on sale on Prime Day. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
914 It's really great at preventing road rash. 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
915 Remember Lance? 1.3022 0.04584 139 105 27 7
916 I misunderstood when you asked if I would go on a night ride 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
917 I've been feeling a little rusty lately 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
918 I must say...I’m a little rusty. 1.3022 0.04410 139 101 34 4
919 I heard all the Lance jokes years ago, okay? 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
920 Think about it. A soda can seals in all the liquid. Ergo I can’t dehydrate. 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
921 You need more than just a helmet to ride safely in this city. 1.3022 0.05172 139 108 20 11
922 Cycling is great when your middle aged. 1.3022 0.04696 139 108 22 9
923 Well you said we were going through Central Park, didn't you. 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
924 Long story short, I went through a portal. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
925 I know it's heavy, but my shrink said be your own knight in shining armor. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
926 I think you misunderstood what an Ironman Triathalon is! 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
927 I'm training for the Tour de 12th Century France. 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
928 This is just until we get Universal Healthcare. 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
929 Isn't just a helmet enough? 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
930 Actually, I said we should bike *at* night. 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
931 Jousting was too hard on my knees. 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
932 It's aluminum and lightweight, for speed and efficiency. 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
933 Can I squeak by you? 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
934 OK, so we’ll be passing a driving range. I still say you’re overreacting. 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
935 I'm embracing my middle-agedness. 1.3022 0.04410 139 101 34 4
936 New suit? 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
937 My dragon’s in the shop. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
938 I still live with my parents. 1.3022 0.05172 139 108 20 11
939 Personally, I’d save the armour for off-road... 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
940 Listen kid, food delivery is an ugly business 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
941 Oy! I'm going to have the worst helmet hair! 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
942 Right,but you gotta understand,things have changed. When I imagined this moment,you were wearing white and on a horse. 1.3000 0.04830 140 106 26 8
943 Slings and arrows whether by mad dogs, road rage or Twitter, shall harm me not! 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
944 If a helmet is supposed to work, why stop there? 1.2993 0.05008 137 105 23 9
945 People call me Lance a lot. 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
946 I know, I know. But it was free with the helmet purchase. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
947 My father was the Tin Man. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
948 it's an uphill battle 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
949 People in my neighborhood really don’t like when you bike on the sidewalk. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
950 Apparently ‘Italian steel’ wasn't specific enough. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
951 Smart Outfit!......... how do you pee in that thing? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
952 To me, it's all the same: the peddle to the metal and the metal to the peddle. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
953 I'm accident prone, that's why. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
954 Knight on a bike, how can I help you? 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
955 Your first Iron Man race? May be your last. 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
956 I think you misunderstood when I said "let's go for a night ride, it will be a lot cooler". 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
957 I guess I misunderstood when you asked if I wanted to go for a knight ride. 1.2963 0.03945 135 99 34 2
958 Look, dragon's breath is already bad for the ozone. I'm doing my part. 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
959 Good day and good knight. 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
960 It's only a problem when it rains. 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
961 One close call with an Uber and you will too.... 1.2963 0.04592 135 102 27 6
962 Joan? Joan Arc? Is that you? 1.2963 0.05159 135 105 20 10
963 Yes, it's the Ironman Triathlon, but not literally. 1.2963 0.05159 135 105 20 10
964 I was tired of lifting weights. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
965 Yeah, Over Armour is definitely worse. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
966 A helmet is just not enough! 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
967 No, I am not 'the king of bicycling.' But I am His Majesty's faithful envoy. 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
968 Where's your lance, Armstrong? 1.2963 0.05265 135 106 18 11
969 I promise, next week we’ll ride our steeds and you can carry the lance. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
970 Of course you don’t get it, mom! It’s social commentary on today’s culture of dominance and deception 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
971 My other ride is getting shoed".. 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
972 The difference is like Knight and day 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
973 Do look like I’m ok? 1.2963 0.05265 135 106 18 11
974 See a not-so-trusty steed gallop by milady? 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
975 Yes, I'm wearing it, but, Dad, other kids don't have to wear a suit of armor when they get their training wheels off. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
976 It's a better glute workout than jousting. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
977 Last leg! Metal to the pedal! 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
978 It's Over Armour 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
979 We broke up but he said I was a knight to remember. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
980 Apparently I took the term "Ironman" too literally. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
981 What a great knight for a ride. 1.2955 0.05240 132 103 19 10
982 You'll wish you had one too once we fall off the end of this illustration. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
983 Sorry, I thought you said "viking" 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
984 When you said you were going to add something from the past, I imagined it would be something like a clothes pin with playing card. 1.2955 0.04530 132 102 23 6
985 I hear those new carbon fiber outfits are only good for one crash. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
986 If you must know, I'm escaping from that cartoon contest of two weeks ago! 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
987 Hey, about coming over to my place for a knightcap? 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
988 It was either this or training wheels. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
989 When you go up against an SUV, you need armor! 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
990 You’re talking on your phone, you are going the wrong way on a one way street, and you just went thru a red light...you do need body armor. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
991 My bike company merged with Nike...its called "Knike " 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
992 It's a new line of bike wear called Outer Armour. 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
993 If you could do that well in the swim, the run should be a piece of cake! 1.2955 0.04530 132 97 31 4
994 I don't get road rash. I get road sparks." 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
995 Thanks for not bringing the lance. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
996 Pardon me. I've got places to be, centuries to catch up on. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
997 ...so that's when I realized that I have to be my own knight in shining armor. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
998 The joust did not go well, but fortunately I keep a back-up ride. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
999 My trusty steed went to The Crusades with my best friend. 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
1000 I said let’s bike at NIGHT, Greg... 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
1001 Yes, I'm coming to the wedding. And yes, I am wearing my suit. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
1002 Get out your oil can. It is going to rain. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
1003 ...and so will my horse be ready by Friday? 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
1004 M'lady, please removeth thy earbuds. 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1005 Bill, I said it was a night bikeride! 1.2955 0.04400 132 96 33 3
1006 Tell him to blanch the Kale first, then in ice water. Are we in the bus lane? 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1007 You know what? I want a divorce. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1008 It's loud, but surprisingly breathable. 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1009 It's in case I win the race, and have to meet Trump. 1.2955 0.05240 132 103 19 10
1010 Tonight’s the knight! 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
1011 I burn calories just putting this on. 1.2955 0.04530 132 97 31 4
1012 Passing on the left me lady. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1013 They had it in neon yellow too. 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
1014 Yeah, but a bike doesn't poop. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1015 I love our knight rides together. 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1016 First, it was the bike helmet. Then it was the kneepads... 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
1017 No, it's pedal to the metal....not metal to the pedal! 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1018 Well, you said you only went out for knight rides. 1.2950 0.04204 139 109 24 6
1019 Somebody’s gotta tell you... UnderArmour is a clothing brand cyclists wear. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1020 I just got hired as a courier in NYC! 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1021 My mom told me she would be at mile 10 to make sure I was wearing my armor. 1.2950 0.04674 139 107 24 8
1022 My fair Maiden, I beg your pardon as I blow past thee. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1023 RAN OUT OF SUNSCREEN 1.2950 0.04386 139 107 25 7
1024 I wear Under Armour on the inside. 1.2950 0.04386 139 102 33 4
1025 She's about to pass-is chivalry still an option? 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1026 I'm not a big fan of bugs hitting me in the face. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1027 You should try Under Armour it breathes better. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
1028 Taking up cycling now that you’re retired from the Game of Thrones “ 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
1029 I can’t afford my health insurance. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1030 No road rash for you, eh? 1.2950 0.04327 139 109 22 8
1031 Downhill grades mess with my knight vision. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1032 Well, if they get rid of Obamacare, I'm protected! 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1033 On your right, Sir Knight. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1034 Honey, I guarantee you'll look just as manly at the Renaissance fair in spandex. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1035 Advice? Sure...careful with the brakes when you're followed by a guy with a lance 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
1036 I'd assumed this is what you wore over Under Armour. 1.2950 0.05049 139 108 21 10
1037 Dressing as Jeanne d'Arc is still not going to get a woman in the Tour de France. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1038 Can we stop to oil my codpiece? 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1039 I'm late for the Festival. Supposed to fight a dragon holding flowers for a damsel. What a cliche. 1.2932 0.05205 133 104 19 10
1040 Pedal faster! There are still Trumps, in NYC!!! 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1041 The taxis won't see it coming. 1.2932 0.04172 133 102 26 5
1042 Howdy, would you like to join me in the war against cars? 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1043 Sally, I said Under Armor, not Over Armor 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1044 I'm just saying... in a risk-reward comparison, it doesn't seem worth it. 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1045 Regular sunblock doesn’t work anymore. 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1046 That’s from Over Armor, right? 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1047 I think I ordered from wrong"under armor" website... 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1048 Nothing huzzahs quite like a vintage power suit. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
1049 Hope it doesn't rain. 1.2932 0.04240 133 101 27 5
1050 I’m just saying it may be possible to take bike safety too far. 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1051 I’m moving away from spandex, too. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1052 Today is night-ride; knight-ride is next week 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1053 At least I get to attack downhill this time. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1054 I figured, well, if UNDER Armour is good, then... 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1055 Give me a break. Last week you made fun of me for wearing spandex! 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
1056 I don’t want to talk about what happened to the horse. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1057 Why yes, Ma'am. I'm a Connecticut Yankee. 1.2929 0.04808 140 107 25 8
1058 The best thing about having an exoskeleton is that you don't have to wear all that lycra 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
1059 If you think your chain is rusty wait till it rains! 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1060 I can be there in 5 minutes and yes my armor is shining. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1061 I love taking Knight rides after work! 1.2868 0.03998 129 102 21 6
1062 I thought you asked to go on a knight ride. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1063 I told you to stop screwing around with the time machine! 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1064 I'm tired of being body-shamed. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1065 They told me the plume was aerodynamic... 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1066 Besides being lighter weight, spandex is more breathable. 1.2868 0.03337 129 103 22 4
1067 Hey, wanna see my under armour? 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1068 Ironman training? 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1069 I’m more of a Knight-Rider 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1070 You also laughed when I grew a handle-bar mustache but then it came back into style. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1071 You know what—I’m just glad to finally see a white knight going the distance 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1072 I like a classic look. But I don't know if I can pull this off." 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1073 I'm trying this new athletic gear called "Over Armor" 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1074 Electric scooters and driverless Ubers, Segways and distracted pedestrians. You can't be too protected. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1075 I'm dreading the swimming part of this race. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1076 I'm drop dead gorgeous and I want to stay this way." 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1077 Even with bike lanes, you can't be too careful. 1.2868 0.04429 129 95 31 3
1078 Yes,it is 100 per cent recyclable! 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1079 It's hard admitting that you're a woman and voted for Trump. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1080 It turns out dragons leave huge carbon footprints 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1081 I feel like I've put on a little weight. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1082 Sir Lancelot Armstrong 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1083 I'm on knight duty. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1084 Not what I had in mind when you asked me to go on a night ride. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1085 Why do people keep asking me if I am the Knight Rider?! 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1086 You’ll see. This will come in handy if we have to attack a castle. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1087 I thought spandex was a little too showy 1.2868 0.04073 129 95 32 2
1088 I started wearing this after the NYPD decided to crash police cars into cyclists. 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1089 What? the casting call said to wear a suit for amour? 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1090 Apparently, I need a permit for my lance, too. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1091 Does it sound like my chain is squeaking again? 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1092 Sharon. It's me, Colin. Quickly, I haven't any time to explain. 1.2868 0.04629 129 99 24 6
1093 It is a little tougher on the up-hills. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1094 These new bicycle safety laws are archaic. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1095 Brakes just slow me down.” 1.2857 0.05387 126 100 16 10
1096 I'm training for the Iron Man competition. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1097 This heavy bottle of water is slowing me down. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1098 Yes, 9-1-1 ! I'm in pursuit of a clown on a unicycle who stole my jousting lance! 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
1099 Oh, nothing special, just girl knights out.... What are you doing? 1.2857 0.04344 126 92 32 2
1100 Have you seen the price of oats? 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1101 My new bike only weighs 22 lbs., but I'm not noticing any difference. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1102 They don't see me any better, but the marks I leave now are way beyond paintless dent repairs. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1103 The law does not state the type of helmet. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1104 I ride for the Knights of the Round Table. Who is thy patron?" 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1105 Time machine a success, now bring me back. Entire future controlled by 2”x5” shiny black card. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1106 I've got an app for the horse and the lance. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1107 I gave up the horse and the sword, but the armor just makes sense these days. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1108 how far is this place "Camelot" ? 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1109 Let me guess... classics major? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1110 Yeh, I’m starting a new trend: Over Armor 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1111 In my previous life this wouldn't have been so exhausting. My horse did all the work! 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1112 Legend has it, there's a fish out there somewhere who needs a bicycle. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1113 Nobility is out of style. Today’s knights are more focused on mobility. 1.2857 0.04558 126 96 25 5
1114 Didn't you say we were going for a knight ride? 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1115 I met a man named Otto who didn't know what a palindrome is. 1.2857 0.04118 126 98 23 5
1116 After the doping scandal I became Lancelot. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1117 I said do you want to go for a night ride Jason, not a knight ride. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1118 My horse is ready. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1119 I meant night ride 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1120 You need to pee? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1121 Ohhh...NIGHT Riding. That does makes more sense 1.2857 0.04487 126 95 27 4
1122 That’s not what they mean by iron man competition 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1123 Spandex has its merits, but you can't beat this for security. 1.2857 0.05504 126 101 14 11
1124 Ohhh ... I heard KNIGHT ride. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1125 It’s casual Friday. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1126 Do you hear whistling, too? 1.2857 0.03627 126 100 21 5
1127 Running a little late. 650, 700 years tops. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1128 Why? My therapist said that knight bicycle rides are very therapeutic. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1129 It's so much harder now horses aren't allowed into the city. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
1130 how do you pee?" 1.2857 0.05387 126 100 16 10
1131 You're the one who wanted to move here to Portland. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1132 Did I leave my lance at your place? 1.2857 0.05387 126 100 16 10
1133 The bike and the injury avoidance uniform together was cheaper than a new car. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1134 I just thought you meant a night ride. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1135 You’ll need a strong lance arm! 1.2857 0.03538 126 103 18 5
1136 Just taking the necessary precautions; my health plan has a high deductible. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1137 My cowboy outfit is at the cleaners. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1138 Not what I meant by 'night cycling gear', but at least it's reflective. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
1139 You said let’s take a knight ride together! 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1140 It's knockoff Under Armour 1.2857 0.05387 126 100 16 10
1141 Why the bike, Sire? I’m trying to reduce my horse manure footprint. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1142 My mother doesn't believe in half measures. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1143 Got mail? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1144 Remember, quest is just part of questionable. 1.2846 0.05149 130 102 19 9
1145 Get real, it's time to get off your high horse. 1.2846 0.05032 130 101 21 8
1146 Just watch me going downhill 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1147 Hello, Knight on a bike, what's your emergency? 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1148 Pardon me my lady... do you know where I can find a noble steed? 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1149 I'm out for my knightly ride. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1150 You can’t be too careful. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1151 The roads are fine. It's when I get into the office that I'm concerned. 1.2846 0.04085 123 88 35 0
1152 You are taking "Under Arnour" too literally. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1153 Never ask Siri to invite your friends to a Night Ride. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1154 A Hard Day’s Knight 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1155 My steed is in the shop. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1156 These seats are so uncomfortable. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1157 Good Knight! 1.2846 0.03370 123 99 19 5
1158 Even at the Renaissance Festival you bike to work? 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1159 Yes, a strong helmet and a reflective outfit 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1160 ...and I'm also a vegan. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1161 I like this route: No cars and trucks, no cell phone users to watch out for, and lightly sketched in scenery that doesn't distract us. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1162 I'm a messenger in the business district. These are my work clothes. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1163 So Carol, you just meant N-I-G-H-T ride? 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1164 You never know when or where your knight in shining armor will turn up. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1165 Metro-medieval. What are you? 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1166 It was supposed to be a N-I-G-H-T bike ride 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1167 Let’s just make it past the Renaissance festival, okay?” 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1168 I just love putting the metal to the pedal... 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1169 I think I was WAY TOO LITERAL on this whole Iron Man concept 1.2846 0.05479 123 98 15 10
1170 Sorry...my horse is in the shop. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1171 The only problem is the helmet interferes with my phone receptions in the city. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1172 All that just so you can yell "metal to the pedal!"? 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1173 Uphill's a bitch. 1.2846 0.05356 123 97 17 9
1174 I couln't afford an armored car 1.2846 0.04474 123 96 22 5
1175 The chafing’s killing me, but it keeps the wind off. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1176 The carbon fibers actually make it much lighter. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1177 When I asked you to move up and break wind for me that is not exactly what I had in mind. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1178 The a.c., heating , and backup camera are included in the basic price of the suit. The dealer threw in the wrap-around airbags when I upgraded the sound system 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1179 I'm putting my metal to the pedal. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1180 His career in ruins, Lance Armstrong encountered major problems with his Lancelot rebranding efforts. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1181 I feel pretty stupid in these pants, too. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1182 The manual said to use Armor All on my bike. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1183 Aren't you a night rider? 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1184 So I'm afraid of the traffic. So sue me. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
1185 My wife insists I use protection. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1186 It’s not just safer, the extra weight boosts my cardio. 1.2823 0.04058 124 89 35 0
1187 `Furanku gērī no saikuringū~ea no rain wa, anata ga kite iru nodesu ka?' ("Is that the Frank Gehry line of cycling wear I heard about, you're wearing?") 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1188 Let me call you back after I slay this hill. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1189 See you at the moat. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1190 When your doctor said if you were going to exercise you'd need more iron he meant in your diet, silly. 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
1191 I’m training for a crusade. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1192 What? My horse is in the shop for a tuneup. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1193 The potholes put a chink in my armor. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
1194 Ever since I lost the saddle of my bike, I figured I probably shouldn't be riding around unprotected. 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1195 I ran out of sunblock. 1.2823 0.05317 124 98 17 9
1196 This isn't what I meant when I said "let's go night riding" . 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1197 Oh, it’s moisture wicking alright! 1.2823 0.05317 124 98 17 9
1198 I'm from King Arthur's court. Which way to Connecticut? 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1199 Once more unto the breach! 1.2823 0.05439 124 99 15 10
1200 Mom, I'm thirty years old" "You put your helmet back on right now young lady!" 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1201 I'm a modern day Crusader. 1.2823 0.04517 124 92 29 3
1202 I am the NIGHT errant! 1.2823 0.04517 124 92 29 3
1203 "The triathlon swimming is a bitch. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1204 Of course, I still haven't met my deductible. 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
1205 Peloton just wasn't doing it for me anymore 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
1206 Our Knightly rides are getting a little intense don't you think? 1.2823 0.04370 124 96 23 5
1207 I should have been more specific when I told the clerk I wanted high-viz gear for night riding. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1208 My horse got turned into a bicycle. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1209 Don’t ever hum “The Impossible Dream” when you’re shopping for bike accessories. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1210 Darlene, a sunblock with SPF 50+ would work just as well. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
1211 I think you dropped your lance a ways back. 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
1212 Look, the rest of the guys have steroids. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1213 I live in a tough neighborhood. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1214 I thought you said you wear armor when you go cycling....not Under Armour! 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1215 A helmet isn't enough in mid-town. 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1216 Were you riding in yesterday’s hailstorm? 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
1217 I meant "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!" 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
1218 My commute's from the mid 70s to the low 1200s. 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
1219 You're being a little over-protective. 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
1220 ”Nay, ‘tis the metal to pedal. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1221 I thought you said you’re bringing your tan steed, not your ten-speed. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1222 Artie dear, how much longer 'til we get to Camelot? 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
1223 But can your helmet do this? 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
1224 Of course then the dragon got an electric scooter so this was only logical 1.2759 0.05419 116 92 16 8
1225 Have you seen a stone with a sword in it? Or my horse? 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1226 Yes my liege, I’m wearing my helmet. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1227 I think something on my bike is rattling. 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1228 Can't wait 'til I'm over eighteen and will need only the helmet." 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1229 I thought it was called Tour de Force, not Tour de France. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1230 Oh, crap! You mean it's supposed to be under armor? 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1231 That's Sir Lance Armstrong to you! 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1232 I was into armor before it was under. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1233 Swimming is the most difficult for me. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1234 I'm dressing for the times - medieval. 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
1235 It's the moisture-wicking Under Armor brand 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1236 Will you marry me now? After all,you can't resist a knight in shining armor. 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
1237 I liketh to keepe up with the tymes. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1238 The King blames gentrification but I kind of like it.” 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1239 I'm the Knight Rider. 1.2712 0.03438 118 95 19 4
1240 It's a ten-STEED bike, actually. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1241 Well, this is an improvement. In my last job, I was Goofy at Disneyland. 1.2712 0.05471 118 95 14 9
1242 Last one to the festival is a consort. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1243 Yes I fight crime but now I also help protect the environment as the Knight Rider. 1.2712 0.04609 118 93 18 6
1244 No, I'm the other Lance. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1245 I'm about to get Medieval on you. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1246 I don't like how I look in bike shorts. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1247 No, not heavy at all. These new ones are titanium. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1248 It‘s like the ice-bucket-challenge. Just the Tour-de-France in an armor. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1249 My boyfriend doesn't take no for an answer " 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1250 Actually, it's kevlar. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 23 4
1251 Sure my horse is faster. But this gets me to my optimal heart rate in no time. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1252 And you were worried about looking silly with the training wheels. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1253 I'm going to Washington, D.C. 1.2712 0.04686 118 92 21 5
1254 This was all that was left after Amazon Prime Days 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1255 I just saw the scarecrow & cowardly lion...they think you just passed the turnoff for Emerald city 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1256 Yeah, no dad's a bigger bicycle-safety drag than mine. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1257 I've got to put the metal to the pedal... I'm late for my first day at Medieval Times! 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1258 The dogs around here are nasty. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1259 Excalibur.......what are you searching for? 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1260 Electric Scooter advisory at 86th Street 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1261 Is it your chain or you, that's squeaking? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1262 Heading in to the city? 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1263 My mother is still choosing my clothes. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1264 It's a very old bike. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1265 I have a feeling I'm not in Camelot anymore. 1.2712 0.04449 118 88 28 2
1266 The third part of the triathlon is jousting. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1267 My usual ride has much more horsepower. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1268 Joust training isn't what it used to be. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1269 does the bike line continue over the moat? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1270 KITT? It's Knight Rider. 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1271 ...from Amazon, of course. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1272 What!? Bring my horse out o in this traffic? 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1273 Just passing through on a Quest! 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1274 I'm regretting that third bran muffin. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1275 Oh, the suit ? Well, Brinks is trying to copy Uber Eats . 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1276 If we die here today, just imagine how confused the archaeologists that find us a thousand years from now will be." "It's just a bike ride, Jim, you will not die here today. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1277 My mother always told me, "Safety first!" 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1278 After I bought the helmet and gloves I couldn’t stop. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1279 joust to be safe 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1280 I'm working the knight shift. 1.2712 0.04449 118 93 20 5
1281 I'm training for the Ironwoman, and you? 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1282 And when I drive my car, I hate people riding bicycles. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1283 Gwen had a flat tire, Arthur. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1284 It did say "Ironman" . . . . 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1285 I didn't think that Vision Zero meant nobody could see us! 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1286 Oh yeah, that's all I hear, "Where's Lance?" 1.2712 0.05058 118 94 17 7
1287 We need to go back, I forgot my spear. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1288 It’s like I’m riding a horse with no mane. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1289 Yes, I get "where's you lance, Lance" often 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1290 Lycra for comfort, steel for safety. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1291 The princesses rescued themselves. I work for Uber Eat now. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1292 Please, no "Knight Rider" jokes. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1293 That’s not what I meant when I suggested a night ride. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1294 With traffic the way it, a is a helmet is not enough. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1295 palladin 1.2712 0.03930 118 95 18 5
1296 My trusty steed hates uphill climbs. 1.2712 0.04197 118 93 21 4
1297 Am I creaking or is it the bike? 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1298 M'lady rides a fine steed, but her armor appeareth ineffective. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1299 I guess biking seemed like the logical next step after my jousting days were over. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1300 Super easy. I just lock it to one of the racks they have in the basement. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1301 I'm taking a ride on Central Park West. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1302 So much for the old trusty steed. 1.2712 0.04839 118 93 19 6
1303 Sure it's hot but I never drop a call. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1304 I bruise easily. 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1305 I thought you said you needed an armored vehicle to survive this commute? 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1306 Valiant steed's day off. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1307 I wiped out last week, I’m not taking any chances 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1308 The problem with renting my gear is that I never know how old it is. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1309 Aren't you concerned about cell phone radiation? 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1310 San Francisco. Why? 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1311 I'm not buying into the whole "self-driving" cars thing! 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1312 I must go back in time for dinner. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1313 It makes me feel safer when I disregard stop signs and carelessly pass on the right. 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1314 It’s SPF 999, I have sensitive skin. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1315 As you can see, I'm on a Trek. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1316 Don't you love that first smooth ride after oiling your chain mail? 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1317 This guy says hail was not predicted after all. 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1318 'It’s amazing how just dressing differently can affect your influence. Dress like a beggar and your assumed poverty gains you looks of contempt;...sport armor and you look strong, dutiful, and prepared." -- A.J. Darkholme Rise of the Morningstar 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1319 I say traffic lights are just a suggestion. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1320 My horse is sick. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1321 There is a dragon with flowers at your door? I'll be there as fast as I can but will still probably be at least a week late. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1322 When I said the knight rider marathon was on all week, I meant on nbc. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1323 I normally don't ride during the day. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1324 I thought you would be slightly rusty... 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1325 It's not the wheel, it's my knee that needs the grease! 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1326 This is what I get for binge watching Game of Thrones 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1327 My bike is OK but I need an oil stop 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1328 Just be sure to keep the metal on the pedal. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1329 Well, somewhere along the line, my quest for fitness became my Quest For Fitness... 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1330 Yeah it's a hassle to bike in, but at least I don't have to change once I get to work 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1331 Is mercury in retrograde? 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1332 Sometimes, cardio is feudal. 1.2696 0.04990 115 91 18 6
1333 I thought you were just a night rider. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1334 I was told you were a bike exemplar, not a Templar. 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1335 It's okay until it rains. 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1336 It's an N-I-G-H-T ride, Larry. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1337 Going for a late knight ride? 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1338 My horse is at the vet's. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1339 If I had known it would be this humid, I would have worn shorts. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1340 Usually I wear garters but I said to myself, 'This might be a night of a different order.' 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1341 They call me Lancelot Armstrong. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1342 My mom always told me when things get moving too fast, there isn't time to put on protection. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1343 I have my jousting class after work. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1344 At the bike shop, they said this suit would be perfect for night riding. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1345 NIGHT biking. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1346 We're headed back to the 16th century, so I thought I'd get ready. 1.2696 0.04592 115 94 14 7
1347 I may be a little rusty, but I'm ahead of you! 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1348 I was going to ask you where Lance was but I guess you get that all the time. 1.2696 0.04508 115 86 27 2
1349 Yes, it's comfortable, but it could breathe a little better. 1.2696 0.04674 115 91 19 5
1350 Yeah, it’s the new thing, called extreme spinning. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1351 The horse-share station was empty. 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1352 Madam: “Good Knight” 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1353 I really didn’t think this through. I should’ve picked a helmet with better visibility. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1354 You think she’s really looking for a ‘literal knight in shining armor’? 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1355 Pot holes, mam, pot holes. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1356 I said riding at night could be fun, not riding as a knight. 1.2679 0.04481 112 86 23 3
1357 I need more protection from distracted drivers. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
1358 Yep, PETA kept complaining that jousts put the horses in danger 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1359 Kickstarter is paying for it. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1360 I call it Renaissance chic. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1361 Enough already about the helmet. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1362 Rust much? 1.2679 0.03583 112 89 20 3
1363 I'm training for next year's Joan of Arc. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1364 But no one else is wearing one, Mom. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1365 This year's introduction of retro jerseys has really slowed the Tour de France. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1366 My horse's emissions are hurting the environment 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1367 Some of the drivers have lances. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1368 It’s the Tour de France and I’m Joan of Arc. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1369 Yonder left! 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1370 I prefer to put the metal to the peddle. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1371 It’s my new Over Armour Urban Cycling suit.... 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1372 Someday I'll have to get this visor fixed so it stays up. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1373 I said, “Let’s take a NIGHT ride.” 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1374 I'm saving a ton on feed. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1375 I hope to hell it doesn't rain. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1376 Didn’t you say I should wear my under armor? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1377 Only when I have to sneeze. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1378 You would if you had been hit as many times as I have! 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1379 I hope it rains and you rust completely, you coward. 1.2679 0.05526 112 90 14 8
1380 This is my knight-time bicycle protection. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1381 It's a Middle-Aged choice. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1382 You mean you only wanted a night on a bike? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1383 I hate the helmet rule. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1384 Doc, she says she never wanted a knight in shining armor--just some nights of dazzling ardor. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1385 I’m road testing the back story for the new series of Knight Rider 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1386 “I plan on giving Trump the middle finger.” 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1387 This is quite necessary. Since deregulation, archers on the High Line like to hunt bikers for sport. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1388 Next Ironman competition, I’m wearing Under Armour. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1389 This helmet visor is a real nuisance for my cellphone. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1390 The job is quickly evolving, we now sit around a square table. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1391 It's part of the training program for my first Ironman. 1.2679 0.04991 112 89 17 6
1392 What do you mean, the Tour de France doesn't go through Orleans? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1393 I have a terrible horse allergy. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1394 This is the only way my insurance company let’s me ride. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
1395 Laura I told you to wear under armor 1.2679 0.05526 112 90 14 8
1396 Your helmet is so cute - is it vintage? 1.2655 0.04536 113 85 26 2
1397 Mother insisted. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1398 The tournaments were great until the nimbys made us stop using horses! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1399 Protected sure. But it chafes at the joints Mom. 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1400 What? You're proposing? Now? Do you know what I'm doing and where I am? Of course I'll marry you. 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1401 It's little wonder that your tires are flat half the time! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1402 I think I'll take some of that chain grease you offered after all. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1403 Yes, hello, emergency room? I am checking wait times just in case. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1404 I get it, people don't respect the bike lane. But isn't that a bit much? 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1405 Got any Grey Poupon? 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1406 Rule #1. Never drink water BEFORE I ride. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1407 My chain and my knees could use some oil. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1408 Ok, I admit it. I was wrong about what they meant by "Iron Man". 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1409 It is I, Sir Chaffesalot. 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1410 Joust out for a ride. 1.2655 0.05482 113 91 14 8
1411 You know, if you switched to a hands-free earpiece, it would free you carry a lance. 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1412 I thought you said bike knight. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1413 This is the last time I buy a "Night Riding Suit" online. 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1414 Art? Lance here. I’ve found out what the simple folk do. 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1415 Damn it, I think I left the cauldron boiling. 1.2655 0.05482 113 91 14 8
1416 Tour de Lance ...a-lot 1.2655 0.05624 113 92 12 9
1417 The fourth event of the quadrathalon is jousting. 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1418 I think I get the "errant" part now. 1.2642 0.04702 106 80 24 2
1419 Now I'm kicking myself that I didn't spring for the optional lance-holder. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1420 How's the free-lancing going? 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1421 What? Never heard of recycle and reuse? 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1422 That's not what I meant when I recommended "Under Armour". 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1423 A bespoke Excalibur 360, me lady. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1424 I can’t afford to let my followers see me riding a off-brand bike. 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1425 The only problem is if it gets damaged in a crash I have to replace the whole outfit. 1.2632 0.04502 114 86 26 2
1426 Going incognito again? 1.2632 0.04502 114 86 26 2
1427 Can’t chat now; my boss hates late knights. 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1428 Guinevere is adjusting beautifully , thanks for asking 1.2617 0.04849 107 82 22 3
1429 You're the Knight Rider! 1.2613 0.04652 111 87 20 4
1430 Yes Karen chafing is a major problem. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1431 Overkill? No, my health insurance company issued it. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1432 I see you're taking the Brooklyn Bridge today. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1433 Next time, try leaving something to the imagination. 1.2613 0.04380 111 83 27 1
1434 With all that texting and driving I need the armour. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1435 It's the only way I can keep my mom off my back. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1436 Didn't we agree that after we broke away from the peleton,you'd ride in my slipstream for the first 10 kilometers? 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1437 Yes, there are sparks. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1438 ...because the Mayor said we should wear reflective clothing. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1439 Thou ridest the same model steed as I" 1.2569 0.05742 109 90 10 9
1440 Because my cycling clothes are in the wash and I ran out of sunscreen. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1441 Are you here to slay the Central Park dragon? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1442 Everyone already knows you're paleo. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1443 The store was out of Under Armour 1.2569 0.04204 109 87 19 3
1444 Is it the bike or you that needs oiling? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1445 The extra weight helps me build momentum. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1446 I’m pretty sure “dark night of the soul” is a metaphor... 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1447 Nice helmet, m'lady. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1448 Got it at Bill's Bikes and Jousting. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1449 It came down to jousting or riding my steed to work, and the bike's easier to park. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1450 Wanna get oiled? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1451 You need a horse for the jousting competition? 1.2569 0.03889 109 89 17 3
1452 My wife felt nervous about my biking in the city 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1453 It's the new Under Armour cycling wear. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1454 No! I'm serious. How do I turn on the damn GPS! 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1455 I’m hoping this qualifies me for the Ironman. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1456 This is not what I meant when I suggested we go for a night bike ride. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1457 This is such a wobbly horse. 1.2569 0.04860 109 87 17 5
1458 You are taking this under armor sponsorship a bit too far. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1459 I feel more vulnerable than ever. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1460 I like to put the pedal to the metal. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1461 Hey, if I wanna refer to my bike as my steed, that’s my business! 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1462 It's New York! I'd rather be safe than squashed. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1463 I'm great on the downhills, a little rusty on the climbs. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1464 She got it in the divorce. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1465 It's all downhill from here. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1466 Think parking a car is bad? Imagine a horse. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1467 Wait a sec: I'm ordering something from Amazon. 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1468 I updated the bike but the rest of my gear is medieval. 1.2547 0.04558 106 83 20 3
1469 Yes, I got my new outfit from Under Armor. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1470 They didn't have bubblewrap in my size. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1471 Unhinged kneeplate. There's a great welding shop about three miles from here. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1472 This makes cycling really hard. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1473 My steed is ready? Joust in time. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1474 I shall vanquish all scooters. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1475 I thought a helmet was a good idea, too, then I saw the algorithms. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1476 Alexa! Fix dinner and clean the living room! 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1477 Really? You took the call? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1478 Where do you keep the messages you deliver? 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1479 I think you wanted UNDER armor. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1480 Pull over for an oil change to stop the squeaking. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1481 My bike lock is made out of a chastity belt. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1482 Jiffy -Lube Near Me 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1483 Yes I work at the Renaissance Fair, but I use the Prince street bike lane also. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1484 They don't always give you three feet. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1485 It protects me against bandits, hill trolls, and SUVs. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1486 They really cheaped out on this Knight Rider remake. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1487 A little rusty? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1488 So she's French, right, and what I''m hearing her say is 'Armor, armor'.... 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1489 Sure it's hot, but when you're a Knight of the Roundabout, you commit. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1490 Person: First time on a bike? Knight: I gave up my horse for the modern-urban lifestyle. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1491 But where do you keep your cell phone? 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1492 It's carbon fiber...I shaved 3 stones! 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1493 Urban jousting separates the middle and upper class. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1494 You sure this is the way to the next tournament? 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1495 Is the party theme sexy knights or sexy nighties? 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1496 Crap! Where's my phone? 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1497 I'm just finally accepting your attitude that I exhibit medieval behavior. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1498 I get a discount on my accident insurance wearing this outfit." 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1499 Hey, Hasselhoff...I've got a great spin for the "Knight Rider" reboot. 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1500 I suppose little plastic hats are O.K. for the head, but I'm serious about all of me. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1501 I just got a call back for an Under Armor ad 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1502 You ever see any dragons on this route? I really hate dragons. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1503 My front wheel tends to come off unexpectedly. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1504 I'm training for an armored-man triathlon. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1505 we ran out of condoms 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1506 I was "randomly selected" and they took my sword. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1507 I thought you said this was a knight-biking club. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1508 I'm protesting the absence of bike lanes. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1509 You’re listening to the All Medieval station again, aren’t you? 1.2547 0.05853 106 88 9 9
1510 Let's just say my drawbridge didn't open in time. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1511 My ex always participates in this race, I thought it's best to be well prepared. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1512 My horse is at the farrier. 1.2547 0.04356 106 82 22 2
1513 It's recycled. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1514 Leave me alone! The check is in the mail... 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1515 I'm trying to reduce my carbon hoofprint. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1516 I ran out of suntan lotion. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1517 I think I misunderstood when you said lets go "Knight Riding". 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1518 Are you chivalrous or training for an Ironman? 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1519 We have to share the bike lane with the jousting team. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1520 I'm afraid this race is really testing my mettle. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1521 When will my horse be ready? 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1522 At least my pants leg doesn't get caught in the chain. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1523 I came prepared for an uphill battle. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1524 This under armor gives me extra road rash protection, but its also giving me a rash... it's a vicious cycle." 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1525 Wow, it doesn't look a bit like spandex. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1526 Prithee, sir knight, hast thou not heard of carbon fiber?” 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1527 You're going to need more than a helmet if you're going to ride into the city. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1528 Siri says, "Get a horse" or "Go across". The reception is lousy up here. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1529 Ironman? I thought they said Iron Throne. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1530 I told my touchy, feely boss this was to protect me while cycling but it’s really to protect me from him. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1531 You're lucky the armor isn't blinding you! 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1532 Reuse, Repurpose, Recycle! 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1533 What can I say? My trusty steed is at the vet. 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1534 The coop board REALLY banned the horse? 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1535 Everything is fine except I need some WD- 40. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1536 Oh, you meant Armor All the bike! 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1537 I’m looking for Connecticut 1.2547 0.05697 106 87 11 8
1538 Okay, I'll save it for the bedroom. 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1539 It's the seven pounds in seven miles diet 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
1540 I lost my single-steed. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1541 Oh, you're still riding steel?! You've got to go carbon. 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
1542 Stop being over dramatic. 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1543 Relax, it's just like riding a horse. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
1544 My horse did nothing for my health! 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1545 It’s a millennial thing... 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1546 Its called the "Knight-Rider". Rated highest in safety! 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1547 My fashion sense may be a little out of date, but you can't beat the classics. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1548 Oh, a night bike ride. I get it. 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1549 Sir Lancelot Armstrong, and you? 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1550 You know, when I complained about chivalry being dead, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1551 So when they said the city had medieval infrastructure... 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1552 When you said you wanted to go on a night bike ride, this is not what I thought you meant 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1553 My sponsor? Under Armour! 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1554 Outrageous fortune, yes; slings and arrows, no! 1.2524 0.04921 103 80 20 3
1555 It gives me a little more protection from the taxicabs. 1.2524 0.04517 103 78 24 1
1556 It's actually all carbon fiber 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
1557 I think it will be knight soon. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1558 “Yeah, cycling with armor is allowed, as long as there’s no Lance.” 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1559 You can never be too safe. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1560 Only because the biggest cities have the biggest potholes. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1561 I left my mace at home. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1562 Some people bike during the day - I personally like knight rides. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1563 Wear whatever you'd like, but keep the squeaking down, please! 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1564 I couldn't find my sunglasses. That's why. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1565 It’s not just bulletproof; my radar signature is nil! 1.2500 0.04480 104 84 17 3
1566 Did you close the living room window? 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1567 No...no...no. I said the fight for fitness was a futile struggle. 1.2500 0.05248 104 82 16 5
1568 I thought you said this was a knight ride. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1569 If you have any other questions, you can reach me at the "Knights of the Open Road" Bicycle Club in Hoboken. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1570 They told me the knight rentals were cheaper. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1571 The main advantage is that my chaffing problem is sorted. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1572 The upside is that I can use the same oil I put on my chain to keep the visor from rusting. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1573 This is for jousting with the CitiBike riders 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1574 Harry, you're weird. First texts from "Camelot." Now this. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
1575 Spandex is in the laundry. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1576 Errand, not errant. 1.2500 0.05757 104 86 10 8
1577 It doesn't chafe as much as you'd think 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1578 The armor is the negotiable for a lower deductible. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1579 Now that it's all downhill, I bet you're the one who feels silly. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1580 Excuse me, but what's the exit for Camelot? 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1581 They call it 'Schwinning Armor.' 1.2500 0.05336 104 86 11 7
1582 Ya it's warm, but it's recycled and it won't wear out. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1583 My jousting horse isn't allowed on this road. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1584 You should see my steed! Less than a thousand miles on her... 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1585 This is more hypoallergenic that latex. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1586 Turns out there wasn't an available trusty steed in the Tri-state area. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1587 None shall pass. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1588 ...And I thought I was being safe 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1589 This is the last time I put off laundry day. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1590 I keep falling over when I can't clip out at a stop sign. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1591 Have you seen an armored horse with an empty saddle go by recently? 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1592 First she said the biker shorts weren't masculine enough... 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1593 Put that visor down. Don't you care about your safety? 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1594 It's vintage. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1595 I thought I had all the carbon fibre I needed...but now I also have a lance and shield on back order too. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1596 I prefer to wear only pre-1800s materials when I work out. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1597 The kid at the bike shop said I should be outfitted old school. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1598 On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1599 Maybe I should switch to Underarmor. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1600 Hi, I'm Under Armor! 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1601 After what happened to Dave, I had to. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1602 Good luck working up a sweat wearing that. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1603 My wife won't let me bike near women without a chaperone or without wearing this. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1604 What happened to the white steed? 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1605 He said he could only get away for a knight. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1606 I meant night ride, not knights ride--my bad. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1607 I've always been a big David Hasselhoff fan. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1608 This way I don't need to worry about cars or stop signs. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1609 Yeah, pretty good. Yourself? 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1610 It’s for a very specific type of Ironman competition. 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1611 Only since smartphones got popular. 1.2424 0.04673 99 79 17 3
1612 My WD-40 for your water bottle. It's a win-win. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1613 Steel is real, m'lady... 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1614 This Don Quixote line of bike wear feels ill conceived 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1615 I'm trying to combine my two passions: cycling and rashes. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1616 What? Don't you know how we took over airports in 1775? 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1617 Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Sir Lancet Armstrong. 1.2424 0.03823 99 78 20 1
1618 Don’t ever get a Horse Title Loan.” 1.2424 0.04992 99 81 15 3
1619 Jousting practice was TODAY?! 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1620 I took a wrong turn at Agincourt. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1621 Online dating was a bust - I'm trying a different kind of quest. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1622 I left my jousting sword at home. Can you please ride ahead of me? 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1623 I guess it helps you downhill. 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1624 I am taking hot yoga on the road. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1625 Rain today, rust tomorrow! 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1626 Hey! Your chain mail is slipping off. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1627 I’m done with spandex. 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1628 I'll go first and clear the way. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1629 I think I'm a little over dressed for this ! 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1630 I’m working on letting my guard down a little. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1631 This? It's nothing compared to the jousting pole that I used to carry. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1632 This feels very safe but going to the bathroom has its own problems. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1633 This isn't Conneticuit? 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1634 I know it's slightly archaic, but you can't be too careful these days. Plus, it's more flattering than those spandex bike shorts. 1.2424 0.05095 99 81 13 5
1635 '"It's been a while since I last rode. Im feeling bit rusty" 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1636 Is the water bottle making my bike too heavy? 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1637 I believe the recommendation was for Under Armor 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1638 You've gone way beyond hipster. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1639 Under Armor’s got nothing on me. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1640 I'm headed for the Round Table. You? 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1641 Did you see the way they were staring? 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1642 I'm sorry, but Knight Rider drove a hot car. He didn't ride a plain bike. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1643 We're calling it The New Dark Ages. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1644 So, are you going to join your ye olde fantasy jousting league or what? 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1645 It even has pockets! 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
1646 It's my urban mobile armor. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1647 I read that suits are coming back. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1648 I don’t feel any safer and my sports bra is turning on me. 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1649 THIS CARTOON MAKES NO SENSE 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1650 The bicycle shop said it's good for off road. 1.2424 0.04673 99 82 14 3
1651 They call it Over Amour 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1652 But for all its advantages, I miss being one with my mount... 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1653 Trying to recycle some of my gear. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1654 I think you misinterpreted night ride. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1655 Yeah, its a little warm, but i just jump in the moat when I get there 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1656 I'm training for an Ironman too. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1657 See? Chivalry isn't dead. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1658 I actually had something else in mind when I suggested Armor All on your bicycle seat. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1659 Is that a Medieval fanny pack? 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1660 I would never just rely on a helmet. 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1661 Tell you what I don't miss; the pooper scooper. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1662 Wearing bright colors never helped so I thought I'd try this. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1663 Nah, I just got off the subway. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1664 It's a lot harder to reach 88mph on a bike. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1665 Check out Crusader Vintage.com 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1666 Yeah, but the tear gas can still get in. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1667 This was such a great deal on Prime Day I couldn't resist! 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1668 Look ahead. You're the one who's gonna feel stupid when that truck hits us. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1669 I finally had enough when she accused my mother of being overly protective. 1.2424 0.04561 99 76 22 1
1670 THE ONE DAY I GO MEDIEVAL 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1671 I am on my way to the Tour de Force. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1672 I agree, this new time travel app isn't working for me either. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1673 Even Brink's has shifted to the gig economy. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1674 Aren’t you over reacting Lance? You just scraped your knee. 1.2424 0.04782 99 77 20 2
1675 My horse is out sick today. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1676 This suit is more aerodynamic than it looks. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1677 I'm mainly a night rider. 1.2424 0.04888 99 80 15 4
1678 It’s still lighter than a Citi Bike 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1679 Next thing you know these bikes will be electric 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1680 Who knew buying protection for your phone could be so extreme, especially this day in age... 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1681 What on earth are those ridiculous pants? 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1682 It was in my middle ages that I got into heavy metal. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
1683 The bike shop suggested treating everything with armor-all. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1684 And I wasn't allowed to cross the street alone until I was 16. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1685 I'm riding in the 'Black Knights Matter' 5K in a show of support 1.2396 0.05686 96 79 11 6
1686 Shouldn’t you have the white steed? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1687 What I said was let's go for a night ride. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1688 My knight vision sucks. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1689 Don't you find the Under Armour a wee bit restrictive? 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1690 ‘I said night riding- N I G H T!’ 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1691 I don't want to go back to court. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
1692 It's true! Henry Louis Gates found out that I'm one eighth lobster! 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1693 Last one to the moat has to close the drawbridge. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1694 The next exit ... the Bronx ... right? 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1695 You must be new to Detroit. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1696 This keeps my rates low with Geico. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1697 UNDER! Not Over Armour! 1.2396 0.04623 96 79 14 3
1698 Apparently it's not called the Tour de Farce. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
1699 Feel free to go on ahead, I'm still a little rusty. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1700 Wait, I thought it was Halloween. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1701 The New Yorker sure screwed up its app. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1702 I told you to iron your uniform, not wear iron. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1703 Well, let's see if my outer armor works better than your nuder armor. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1704 Renaissance fairs aren't the same since PETA got involved. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1705 Under armor just doesn't cut it on the Cross Bronx Expressway. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1706 Methinks this saddle doth sorely chap me arse. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
1707 Remember, when we get there, I do all the talking, and you just stand in the corner. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1708 Feeling vulnerable today??? 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
1709 I have bad news about the city's new Bicycle Safety Action Plan... 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1710 My spandex was at the cleaners. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1711 Lancelot Armstrong, pleasure to meet you, Miss 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1712 I feel safer but I can't pedal uphill. 1.2371 0.04810 97 78 16 3
1713 Are you all right Sir? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1714 Not what I meant by 'chivalry,' Todd. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1715 Wearing all this protective gear outta keep the insurance premiums low. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1716 I thought it can help women recognize I am following the rules of chivalry instead of the current predatory norms. 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1717 I thought this would do it but the delivery guys have moved up to trebuchets. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1718 I can ride day and knight! 1.2371 0.05820 97 81 9 7
1719 Too much beer at last night's costume party, and a broken can-opener. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1720 Mr. Armstrong, now I see why you're getting "Sir Lance" a lot. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1721 I’m working a political fundraiser tonight. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1722 It’s aerodynamic AND prevents saddle pain! 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1723 For me, it's like going to war. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1724 White horses are hard to find. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1725 My Kingdom for some Spanx. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1726 New brakes were too expensive. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1727 After my last accident, my wife threw down the gauntlet...literally...! 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1728 No, ‘Lance Armstrong’ was the joke, but I forgot my lance, so, I guess I’m just a knight. Anyway, do you bike here often? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1729 Sorry, I can't hear your advice through my visor. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1730 You’re kidding me. There is already a Knight Rider? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1731 It's the bike shop, they couldn't fix my brakes. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1732 Can you hear me, now? 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1733 We do re-enactments of early 20th century medieval re-enactments 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1734 I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1735 I said bring underarmour, not knight armor. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1736 I gotta go. Yeah, another biker challenging me to a joust. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1737 I am not your Knight in tarnished armour!! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1738 It’s an ego booster. When I take it off and weigh myself I’ve lost 40 pounds. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1739 They told me to get off my high horse, this was the only other option around 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1740 I'm not slowing down for joggers. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1741 The clubs I get into now? They're the stuff of legend. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1742 Heavy metal fan ? 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1743 Hasselhoff was a better Knight Rider. 1.2347 0.04179 98 79 17 2
1744 It lowers my premiums. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1745 I hate road rash. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1746 Chivalry isn't dead, but it is on a steep decline. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1747 ...had to list my roundtable on Craigslist, too. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1748 Knight Rider 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1749 I feel so metal. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1750 Please, don't tell anyone at work! 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1751 It's from their new product line, since their "under" apparel went so well. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1752 My kingdom for a horse, instead I got a two-wheeler! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1753 Turns out it's not as easy as riding a bike. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1754 K", it changes the tone of many decisions 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1755 You wouldn't happen to have a long, pointed pole? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1756 Did they say tournament or Tour de France? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1757 I can't help it, I had really overprotective​ parents. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1758 What do you mean you smell gasoline? 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1759 I'm training for Tour de Lance. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1760 I think it’s time to move to the suburbs 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1761 People in cars have their armor, I have mine. 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
1762 For the Renaissance Fair I decked it out with bunting and chain mail. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1763 So I take it you misunderstood what I meant by a Knight ride? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1764 "I just got tired of all my family hassling me about cycling safety." 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1765 Like, Subscribe, and support me on Patreon 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1766 My steed is in the farrier's, this is a loaner. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1767 My lady, how could I possibly hold my horses? 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
1768 You mean this isn't the Renaissance Faire Triathlon? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1769 It's for a charade party, and I'm going as "a night on the road. 1.2347 0.04303 98 75 23 0
1770 No more chafing! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1771 Suppose I should have a headlight for knight time riding..... 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1772 The knees catch a bit more than I expected. 1.2347 0.04051 98 79 17 2
1773 Oy vey 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1774 Maybe dogs’ attraction to you is magnetic. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1775 If the laws of physics hold up, I should just fly down this hill! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1776 This is from the Tour De Sparta 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1777 In first gear, resistance is feudal 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1778 Our peloton felleth down. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1779 You would never guess that it is spandex. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1780 I'm preparing for the e-scooters. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1781 I think that I made a wrong turn about 200 years ago. 1.2347 0.05190 98 81 12 5
1782 I’m going back to the future; aren’t I ? 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1783 No, it's carbon fibre. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
1784 Sure, he's trusty, but he wouldn't fit on the subway. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
1785 carbon fiber... 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
1786 Black Friday sale, how about you? 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
1787 You’re so brave Celeste. I’ve never been comfortable night riding. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
1788 It’s due for its 1,000 year tune up. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1789 I've been doing this a long time, but your faith in humanity is cute 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1790 On thy behalf, m'lady, I shall slay the four-wheeled monsters. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1791 have you seen the drivers out here? 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1792 This chain mail underwear doth chafe too much. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1793 I doubt you will find your 'knight in shining armor' bicycling down the West Side Highway. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1794 UberStallion was experiencing surge pricing.... 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1795 No, they said a night ride 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1796 It's not that far to the Armoury. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1797 Once PETA exposed the jousting circuit, we gave up our horses 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1798 Fibromyalgia. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1799 When I flip the visor I get my Peloton workout. 1.2283 0.03492 92 77 13 2
1800 I am Knight Nite in shining armor looking for Damn Selly in distress, might that be you ? 1.2283 0.03972 92 78 11 3
1801 Medal to the pedal...I'll race you! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1802 For me, it's all steel or nothing. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1803 I'm raising money for the Medieval Bikers' Foundation. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1804 I know you are a history major, but.... 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1805 Is that carbon fiber? Surely you joust?! 1.2283 0.05150 92 77 11 4
1806 There are other types of visors, you know..? 1.2283 0.04663 92 76 13 3
1807 Vision Zero this! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1808 Jousting is too dangerous on a horse. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1809 Ohh, I thought you wanted to go knight riding. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1810 Do you still believe Riverside Drive is a suitable venue to train for the Tour de France? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1811 No problem, it consists of carbon nanofiber. 1.2283 0.04790 92 75 14 3
1812 I need this in Manhattan. 1.2283 0.04913 92 75 14 3
1813 Jeffrey Epstein? 1.2283 0.06007 92 78 7 7
1814 Just call me Nance Armor-strong 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1815 Riding A Horse? In This Economy? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1816 Well, have you ever tried jousting? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1817 I had an e-bike, but almost killed myself 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1818 It’s my new fall outfit. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1819 I am historically accurate. Check "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court".....oh, darn. The water bottle. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1820 I'm training for iron man 1.2283 0.04400 92 71 21 0
1821 This way, if they cut me up, I put a dent in their chassis. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1822 So that's why they call it a "knight ride" 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1823 I'm on my way... I'm about 900 years out. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1824 Sir Cumnavigate on your left. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1825 I wanted my outfit to match my helmet. 1.2283 0.04533 92 74 16 2
1826 I can't afford a broken bone, okay?! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1827 I’m training for my first Ironman Triathlon. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1828 I thought it was ridiculous, too, but the guy at the shop kept saying "Steel is Real", so... here we are. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1829 Well, I’m ready for those famous New York City potholes! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1830 Very nice to meet you Guinevere...people call me Lance...a lot. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1831 I think it's your chain. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1832 We have to swim after this? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1833 Actually, I'm training for Ironman. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1834 My kingdom for a bike, really? 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1835 My trusty steed hath taken a self-care day. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1836 I'll dismount when the yellow beast is gone 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1837 Would you like some water? 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1838 Cosplay triathlon training is a bitch. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1839 It's the latest chastity suit by GrabMeNot, Inc. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1840 This is great and all, but I think my last ride had more horsepower 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1841 Actually I said a "night ride" 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1842 Is the President back in town? 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1843 I can’t hear you because of the clanking! 1.2283 0.04400 92 76 13 3
1844 And what are these 'bike lanes' you speak of? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1845 Do you mind if I go on ahead? I'm late for a joust. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1846 You're the one who wanted to ride with a visor. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1847 OMG! You're David Hasselhoff! 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1848 Who needs a bike lane when you got this on? 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1849 I really need to recharge after working the night shift all week. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1850 Now you’re in a Medieval cycle? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1851 Of course she is a better negotiator than I am. She trots from home 3 days a week, and here I am wearing last year's armor. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1852 The Tour de France is crazy dangerous. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1853 I'll never sign another contract without reading it! 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1854 Don't sweat now, we haven't got the oil can with us and you've been squeaking enough as it is! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1855 Jousting was never a big deal until we got married. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1856 Hang on princess, I'm coming to your rescue. 1.2283 0.05033 92 76 12 4
1857 . . . and I have almost always have 4 bars. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1858 Think of me as the armored car of bicycle delivery. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1859 Why are we riding boy's bikes? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1860 Sorry, there were no white horses 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1861 How many grams is your Carbon fiber armor? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1862 They’re big in Europe. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1863 The GPS states the city is to the right. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1864 They weren't kidding - this gives you a body of steel 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1865 Yes honey; I'll stop by the cleaners and pick up your suit. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1866 I was shopping for a new helmet online and I used the keywords ‘Arm,’ ‘Strong,’ and ‘Lance.’ I have no idea what went wrong. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1867 My trusty steed only had two gears. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1868 But what if it rains 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1869 I have the passcode to lower the drawbridge. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1870 Do You Know Where the Joust path is? 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1871 BTW, did you pack the WD-40? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1872 Just out for a Knight time bike ride 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1873 The last thing I remember was being served a drink while visiting the New Yorker Magazine offices 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1874 Once more unto the bike path, dear friends, once more! 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1875 Yes, I’m putting the metal to the pedal. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1876 I think it would be more appropriate if you were on a horse. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1877 Wrong place at the wrong time 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1878 Sure, sure, but on the downhill...! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1879 Wait until you scrape YOUR knee 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1880 It hasn't been the same without Lance. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1881 It's not a Schwinn, it's a Lochinvar. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1882 I don't advise a visor. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1883 My white horse doesn't do cities. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1884 Can't talk. I'm at Knight cycle. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1885 I thought we were going for a knight ride? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1886 What mosquitoes? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1887 Uh-Oh! My GPS says, ‘Up Escalator 100 Feet’! 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1888 My white horse moved to the burbs. 1.2283 0.03818 92 77 13 2
1889 ‘Safety over style, noob.’ 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1890 It's competition not war. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1891 You think you're helmet will protect you 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1892 No, just late for my gig at Medieval Times. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
1893 It's the original sportswear. 1.2283 0.04913 92 75 14 3
1894 Will you be my girlfriend now? 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1895 Onst thou left, fair damsel. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1896 Is your suit titanium or carbon fiber? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1897 And, it's a lot less upkeep than your horse! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1898 I said I wanted something suitable for NIGHT riding. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1899 Yeah, sometimes the "Ironic Outfit" angle takes a lot of commitment. I might switch to a Steampunk Tuba shtick. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1900 You wouldn't believe how much I've saved on my insurance since I bought this suit. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1901 I thought you said you wanted to try poly-armory 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1902 I really need to do a wash. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1903 Listen when I lay it down. 1.2283 0.04790 92 75 14 3
1904 You must be from the Nanny State. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1905 Don't bother calling me. I don't have my phone. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1906 Nice outfit. But wouldn't brakes make you even safer? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1907 My horse is already on the festival grounds. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1908 What? It's no dumber than your fanny pack. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1909 The suit came with the bike. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1910 Did your blacksmith also make your bicycle? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1911 I have never felt that a helmet is enough protection 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1912 I miss Rudy Giuliani too. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1913 You're saying they want to take the character in another direction? 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1914 Because parking at the joust is just too expensive. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1915 My landlord doesn’t allow horses 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1916 Trustier than that steed of mine. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1917 This heat wave sucks! 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1918 Am I the only one that heard “Ironman?” 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1919 It's a new clothing line from Steph Curry ...it's called Outer Armour. 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
1920 'Dress for Success' they said 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
1921 The King’s training for the Tour de France and I’m his security. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1922 It’s my first triathlon. But everyone kept saying I should do the Ironman. 1.2283 0.04400 92 71 21 0
1923 No, health insurance. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1924 It’s my Knight Rider kit. 1.2283 0.05033 92 76 12 4
1925 It was a suggestion from my therapist. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
1926 It worked for Mick Jagger, didn't it? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
1927 The cycling experience in this city has become purely medieval. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
1928 We're almost there. Then I can take off this insect repellent outfit. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
1929 It somewhat levels the playing field. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1930 I'm just a knight on a bike asking a girl to love him. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1931 I hope it rains. 1.2222 0.04407 90 70 20 0
1932 Believe it or not, it was my lack of confidence that was really slowing me down 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
1933 I love how romantic the city looks when I'm knight riding. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1934 ...oh yes, I love it. But the rust stains can be a handful. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1935 My Mom made me wear it or I fall a lot or It's a great conversation starter 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1936 Is that a Trusty Steed road bike? 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
1937 My insurance at Monty Python Pizza is a joke." 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1938 This outfit keeps the seat from giving me a wedgie. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1939 It is air-conditioned! 1.2222 0.04114 90 71 19 0
1940 And to think I thought chivalry was dead. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1941 It's not the same, but my cholesterol was out of control. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1942 So, how did you lose your horse? 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1943 You must be roasting. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
1944 Breathable Gore-Tex? No, I'm pretty sure you said, "Medieval war techs". 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1945 Can't hear you, got New York in my other ear. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
1946 That’s what happens when you reach middle-age 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1947 I said I needed full protection. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
1948 But you wanted me to show my masculine side. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
1949 I'm starting to think I should've gone with UnderArmor. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
1950 I'm unable to peddle to let's stick to the downhills. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1951 It's just a little added protective gear. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
1952 I’m training for a Spartan race. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1953 So Amazon put Under Amour on sale with a 3 hour delivery window. I like it. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1954 I didn't know they had a stricter helmet law here. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1955 It's not what I meant by a night ride. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1956 Safety first... 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1957 This bike wasn't built for a Lance. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1958 You should always be careful riding at night 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1959 Not my regular gig...I'm just a freelancer 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1960 I'm gonna cut through Hunts Point. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1961 If it was good enough for Sir Lancelot, it's good enough for me. 1.2159 0.04104 88 73 13 2
1962 I'm guessing you've never crashed on your bike? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1963 Forsooth, I have only one job in Le Tour: to protect my king of the mountain. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1964 I promise, in the fall, I’ll move out of my mother’s place. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1965 It's a new millenial thing called Joustcycling 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1966 I guess I misunderstood when you said you wanted to go on a night ride. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1967 I only have two hands. If you keep calling of course I'm going to lose my lance a lot. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1968 Yes, I am the night rider. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1969 Sorry , when I'm on the phone chivalry is dead. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1970 Need an oil can break? 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
1971 This is my last madcap gesture, Jennifer! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1972 I am ready to battle traffic. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1973 I still have SPF 60 all over. Can't be too careful. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1974 Crumble zone 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1975 Yes. Almost there and dressed as Knight Rider; just like you asked. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1976 My codpiece? Had to leave it. Way too heavy. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1977 This outfit? Have you seen the bike lanes in Manhattan? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1978 Go get your own draft, my lady. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1979 Without your bike, this would be a one knight stand. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1980 I know it looks silly, but my healthcare deductible went through the roof this year. Steve Manderscheid, Minneapolis, MN 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1981 I go down Hills much faster now! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1982 Well the under armor makes it quite comfortable. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1983 My toga is at the cleaners. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1984 I still prefer my aulde metal frame. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1985 Geeze Stan, way to put the pedal to the metal! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1986 I've cycled 'round to wearing both armour *and* Under Armour. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1987 I'm late for stage rehearsal. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1988 No road leads away from Rome. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1989 I thought you said I should ride as a knight, not that we should ride at night. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1990 Yes, it's awesome that Herman Melville lived on this island, but be damned sure to watch your tushy on this next turn. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1991 You know, those things aren't foolproof. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1992 Sir, this is the Tour de France. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
1993 Well, once I realized I was the only round thing at that table I knew something had to change. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1994 Please Don Quixote, don’t try attack Trump tower again. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1995 Didn’t Merlin teach not to text and ride, Lance. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
1996 I guess you could say I’m Spandex non-conforming. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
1997 The bike path is perfect for jousting practice--a conveyor belt of oncoming targets. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
1998 I was canned today so Cheryl took off work to join me in a spin. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
1999 You really should wear glasses for knight riding. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2000 Had to give up the horse - too big of a methane footprint. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2001 Good Sire, methinks it would behoove you to buy shares in metals." 1.2159 0.05927 88 75 7 6
2002 It's made of Titanium alloys and weighs only 36 pounds 1.2159 0.04698 88 72 14 2
2003 What? Your voicemail said you wanted to go for a knight ride. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2004 They say that biking is 80% "hardwear"! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2005 My wife always tells me I'm too literal. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2006 Yeah, I thought it was an Under Armor endorsement.... 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2007 I told you we were not going to bike in the night! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2008 Lance? My arm IS strong, but I'm a sword fighter. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2009 What do you think? Does it make me look fat? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2010 It doesn't look like it, but I'm telling you it's a one-piece Spandex jumpsuit. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2011 Japanese beetle season. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2012 arrowdynamic 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2013 Thanks for breaking wind. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2014 Don’t Stress Irma. The FlexPak will release your frozen arm soon. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2015 ever since dad took the training wheels off.......... 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2016 You will be safer with all that armor on 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2017 All I can be today is your knight in sweaty armor. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2018 We're approaching Manhattan. Get ready. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2019 I often bike in a rough neighborhood. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2020 Your not David Hasselhoff! 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2021 The party's theme is Hasselhoff TV shows. 1.2159 0.02776 88 72 16 0
2022 Without your lance, how can you make your armstrong? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2023 Well, you said "get Under Armour workout clothes." 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2024 I am going to the White House after for a meeting with the President. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2025 You got metal to the pedal? 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2026 what do you mean --I'm in the wrong century 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2027 I won’t be the one with a sore ass tomorrow. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2028 Excuse me. Where did you get your helmet ? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2029 I get that all the time. But no, I'm not the Knight Rider. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2030 I think what he actually said was , “Wanna spend the night in Armonk”?! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2031 The only thing that kill me in this outfit is riding uphill. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2032 He threw down a gauntlet 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2033 This is the latest weaponized safety gear. 1.2143 0.03814 84 68 16 0
2034 I thought you said, "10 Steed." 1.2143 0.05101 84 70 11 3
2035 I’m from Detroit. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2036 With the 3% rebate from ACME Insurance it pays for itself! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2037 Karen, you know I'm a little rusty. On an unrelated note, it's been ages since I've ridden a bike. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2038 I'm late for my Round Table meeting! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2039 I get that question all the time. No, my name isn't Lance. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2040 The white steed is in the shop. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2041 I thought you said "knight cycling." 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2042 But they said, "No refunds." 1.2118 0.04458 85 69 15 1
2043 Princesses are in short supply, so I'm now delivering Chinese for Uber Eats to save fair maidens from going hungry during the Bachelorette 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2044 But you said it was a knight ride 1.2118 0.05317 85 72 9 4
2045 It's renaissance faire day at work, and I didn't have chainmail. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2046 I always enjoy going for a ride at knight time! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2047 So you are the Knight rider? Cool helmet. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2048 I was looking for some bike kit that was a bit more durable, but this was all the Met had in stock. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2049 You think it's awkward now, but at night, it's SHINING! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2050 I plan on biking knights. 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
2051 They call me ‘Knight Rider’ 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2052 It’s made by Over Armour.” 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2053 So you call it under armor? 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2054 Yes! Your bum surely does look big from behind. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2055 Gee, these triathletes these days are real renaissance men. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2056 We're going to rescue turtles this weekend. You in? 1.2118 0.04458 85 69 15 1
2057 Yes dear, I know, I am in violation of Rule #52 - Body armor of any kind is not allowed. Refer to Rule #5 - Harden up! 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2058 Fact - first Tour de France's ended in jousting. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2059 Chivalry is alive, it's just not willing to budge. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2060 I said bring your ten speed,not your lead sheath. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2061 Thankfully, they waived the requirement that I own a castle. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2062 Do you think this will keep me from getting molested? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2063 Passeth on yee lefteth 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2064 Lancelot Armstrong really picks up speed downhill 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2065 This wasn’t what I was thinking when I said ‘let’s go for a night ride’ 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2066 When I'm on some of these streets, it feels like I'm going into battle. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2067 Wanna joust? 1.2118 0.05184 85 72 9 4
2068 It's tough to keep a horse in the city. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2069 Did you remember the oil can? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2070 Onward Sir Crash-a-Lot! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2071 And I thought my fanny pack was outdated. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2072 How's the Iron man training going? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2073 Lance who? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2074 According to my DNA analysis, I’m directly related to Don Quixote... 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2075 My other steed is a horse. 1.2118 0.04458 85 72 10 3
2076 So, how much horsepower does yours have? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2077 Heading to Chicago? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2078 My other car is a horse. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2079 Alas, my steed is at the vet. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2080 I think I injected a bit too much testosterone this morning. 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
2081 Ruth, when I invited you I said wear Under Armor! 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2082 for god's sake Lance, we're on our way home and we've scored already ! 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2083 Haven’t you heard about the new armor law? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2084 The biking safety manual was very specific about the necessary equipment. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2085 I used to bike well when I was younger. Now I’m getting rusty! 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2086 You mean your dermatologist isn't pushing SPF 20,000 yet? 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2087 Have you seen a troll somewhere along this bridge? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2088 I'm gearing up for the Ironman Triathlon. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2089 This is only a dry run. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2090 I am running a bit late, could you save me a seat? 1.2118 0.05184 85 72 9 4
2091 Mom! You were supposed to order under-armor. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2092 I always put this on if I feel like shooting myself in the head 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2093 I thought is supposed to be worn “under armour” 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2094 My horse... he is in the impound lot. Something about not being registered in this state? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2095 It was a call to arms. She had to take it. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2096 You’re first attempt at time travel? 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2097 Is this the way to Hogwarts Castle? 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
2098 I said we would race at night. 1.2118 0.04132 85 71 12 2
2099 These new body helmets are better in theory than in practice. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2100 Ride backwards to 1560? Got it. And pick up a deep dish pizza with anchovies? Ok. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2101 I don't see well enough to do any knight riding. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2102 I misread the flyer when it said 10K Night Bike Race 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
2103 Chivalry isn't dead, it's dehydrated. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2104 When it comes to speed, nothing beats a steed. 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
2105 You know, knight riding is dangerous. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2106 I should've clarified when I said "night ride" 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2107 According to the rules of chivalry, I'm supposed to ask if I may pass you -- the lady. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2108 You try getting public transport for a knight shift. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2109 'My racing strategy is called 'The Sword In The Spokes.' 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2110 Chivalry ain't dead; it's just on a better steed. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2111 I thought an evening ride would be fun - just assumed you made a typo. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2112 I said watch out for the speed trap ahead. 1.2048 0.03740 83 68 15 0
2113 I'm going for a ride with Walter the Younger. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2114 Fancy a joust? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2115 You said to wear a helmet! 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2116 Hey, do you have a bicycle mount that fits the lance I just ordered? 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2117 I'm your knight in shining UnderArmour. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2118 It's moisture-wicking chainmail. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2119 They call me the Knight Rider. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2120 What are these cars of which you speak? It's the flaming arrows I'm protecting against. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2121 I use it to shield my tiny left leg. 1.2025 0.04369 79 67 10 2
2122 Only problem is that I cannot apply the brakes. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2123 I guess I'm stuck in the middle ages when it comes to lycra shorts 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2124 I was too literal with the, “Suit up” memo, wasn’t I? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2125 Terrible headwind, innit? 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2126 If I hit my goal weight I’ll be able to get the armor off. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2127 No, I don’t work for Knight Rider. Why do you ask? 1.2025 0.04894 79 66 11 2
2128 Funny, you don’t strike me as an iron man...! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2129 She said to be there at seven for Lobster Knight. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2130 when is about security ... I go to the classic! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2131 Wait, you mean I could have changed into my suit at work? 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2132 I seem to have dropped my lance. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2133 I am sorry but they had only one women's suit of armor to use. Just be careful going downhill. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2134 You need to be more clear next time you invite me for a N-I-G-H-T time ride. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2135 You think you look bad in a bike suit at the Renfaire? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2136 I’m not a big Under Armour fan. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2137 There’s no jousting in this triathlon. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2138 they say riding a bike in NYC is like going into battle, so I'm dressed for it. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2139 I'm working my way back up to a horse. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2140 Ironman irony, why? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2141 You need to go back. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2142 Ever since the doping scandal I've been going by Lancelot. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2143 You told me you wanted to go for a 'knight' ride. 1.2025 0.04894 79 66 11 2
2144 ... and so I became the Green Knight. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2145 Wow! Do you think you over did it just a little, for this years Ironman? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2146 The last one says to the other " Having helmet and safety clothes doesn't mean that you can do a phone call while you driving " 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2147 If Floyd had been wearing this, he's still be alive. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2148 Don’t look at me, you’re the one who wanted to go antiquing! 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2149 I put it on and it felt joast about right. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2150 What do you mean the joust has been called off? I was on my way there with my cheerleader! 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
2151 I'm literally fighting traffic all the way to the office." 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2152 It’s easier now without the lance 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2153 Where's your lance? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2154 I thought I was signing a contract with "Under Armor". 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2155 This is New York...why would you only armor your head? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2156 The traffic isn’t that bad! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2157 I hate to tell you, but you forgot your lance. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2158 I told you that multi-tasking comes easy to me. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2159 Hey, France! I just escape from the fire! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2160 Seriously, you're willing to give up texting for the whole ride? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2161 I know -- commuting by bike is great! I just wish the Renaissance Fair had changing facilities. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2162 My boyfriend didn't understand that the WD40 was not for the bike. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2163 Wearing armor will not save you from being run over and showing how stupid you really are 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2164 Hello? VR headset repair? 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2165 OK, I squeak a bit but you ought to see me tear down hills. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2166 Sponsored by Over Armored. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2167 Just think of me as Lance-less Armstrong. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2168 It's my rusty steed 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2169 I’m running late, my link doth caught my chain. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2170 Sure, I'll joust for you. But, does it HAVE to be a horse? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2171 Times aren’t changing for all of us, Lisa. Not for all of us. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2172 What exactly do you mean when you say you’re missing your lance a lot? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2173 I need an ironclad alibi for being late! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2174 It’s throw-back day at the Tour de France 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2175 Night guys finish last. 1.2025 0.04369 79 65 13 1
2176 The bugs aren't biting! 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2177 There! That's much safer than that darn MAGA hat. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2178 My steed and I are having a domestic 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2179 “The environment. My horse only got nine leagues per pund.” 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2180 I just can’t keep the sweat out of my eyes. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2181 I thought it was the Tour de Medieval France 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2182 no road rash for you. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2183 It’s the LuLuLemon #metoo line. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2184 What’s your nom de plume? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2185 Knight Rider,” I presume 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2186 Après moi, le déluge. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2187 I know it's a bit extreme, but my first bike helmet was a shower cap. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2188 I wasn’t joking when I said armor up we’re going downhill 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2189 I thought the event was a "knight ride" 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
2190 Actually it looked perfect online but for the photo they’d held up the visor with blu-tack. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2191 They call me Sir Bikes-a-Lot. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2192 You've got to admit, with bike riding direction is everything! 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2193 I'll be back at 6:00. The bike jousting shouldn't last more than a couple of hours. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2194 So, you know? Going out to do sports in a vintage outfit is very trendy. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2195 My horse died. 1.2000 0.06264 80 70 4 6
2196 The chicks dig it. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2197 My dry cleaning bill is still less than Uber would be! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2198 The salesman said it's almost the same thing as Under Armour. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2199 I'm training for the Medieval Man. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2200 But the carbon fiber parts of the bike still save weight. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2201 Gadsbudlikins, man! I just need a quick ruling on whether it is chivalrous to ride in front of, or behind, a lady. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2202 Yes, the hill is steep. Really, really steep. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2203 Martyrs 'R Us. Joan speaking. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2204 The knight run is in the evening. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2205 Yep it’s the new Steed 14 speed 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2206 So the white horse is gone in hopes of a yellow jersey? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2207 Harvey Weinstein... 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2208 'The belt was good during the Middle Ages... Today you need the entire suit.' 1.2000 0.05307 80 69 7 4
2209 Use both hands, Ed, you fearless daredevil. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2210 Joust call me Sir Face of the Road 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2211 There's a reason they called him LANCE Armstrong. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2212 Mine most humble apology, but I did lose a lance somewhere 'round hither. So, holler if you see anything... 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2213 Iron Man race? I thought it was Tin Man race 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2214 You’re right. Even with the bike lanes, it’s dangerous riding downtown. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2215 Take me off your Hear Ye list. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2216 I get my Hi-line gear at the Metropolitan Museum gift shop. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2217 You'll be safe, but I'm afraid your cell phone won't receive calls. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2218 I'm ready totake on New York taxis! 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2219 I said I liked to cycle at night! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2220 The heat isn't that bad, its more so the name calling. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2221 That's not what I meant when I said "Put some metal to the pedal!" 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2222 It's the farrier. My steed's Manolo Blahnik's finally arrived from Amazon Prime. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2223 Joe, you are literally into this Ironman Triathlon. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2224 During rush hour, my jousting lance works wonders. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2225 Well, now that my schizophrenia-medication is kicking in, i realize I'll have to go jousting on a bicycle. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2226 Slay the Dragon, Slay my PR . . they sound a lot a like at 5:00AM, ok? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2227 Witch way to the hood? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2228 It's just that I've never been very trusting... 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2229 Have you had first dates that actually would go jousting? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2230 I suppose you're my knight in shining armor. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2231 Nope, I still like my horse better 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2232 It’s titanium. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2233 Wouldn't happen to have any chain lube in your tool kit, would you? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2234 I fall down A LOT. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2235 The whole vibe changes when I sport my lance. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2236 If anybody asks, just say it's chivalrous spirit. 1.2000 0.03938 80 67 12 1
2237 Yeah, I had to lose the lance for rush hour traffic. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2238 Who said the dark age couldn't be green? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2239 Be sure to read the fine print in your pet insurance contract. 1.2000 0.05454 80 70 6 4
2240 She says she's not in distress. 1.2000 0.04321 80 66 13 1
2241 My jousting name is Lance Arm Strong 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2242 You missed it! The Renaissance Festival is back there! 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2243 Lance Armstrong's team - why dost thou ask? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2244 Riding was a safer before drivers started texting. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2245 Can you blame me? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2246 I channel more horsepower in this suit 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2247 Why does everyone laugh when I introduce myself as Knight Rider? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2248 I beg your pardon my lady, but I am not the knight stalker. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2249 I’ll have to call you back, I’m taking a knight ride. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2250 So that's the outfit for your knight ride? 1.2000 0.05000 80 68 9 3
2251 Actually, it's to keep the maidens at bay. I'm gay. 1.2000 0.03029 80 68 11 1
2252 I'm on my way to a round table. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2253 Damn! I forgot my lance! 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2254 So, are you listening to heavy metal? 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
2255 You need to check your hearing! I suggested that you put on your Under Armour. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2256 Can't be too careful when knight biking. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2257 My Under Armour helps prevent chafing. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2258 I just don't want my wife to recognize me with you. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2259 I think my plume is creating drag and slowing me down. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2260 This is a breeze compared to running a marathon. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2261 Watch out for raccoons! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2262 Seriously? You're from the Sixteenth Century? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2263 Why would they have trouble seeing me? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2264 I thought it was a knight ride 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2265 ...they’re lighter than horses and call me crazy but I don’t think you have to feed them ! 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2266 It's Under Armour's new line. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2267 Dragon? No, girl, soon we're gonna be in midtown. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2268 It's was either this or lycra. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2269 A horse! A horse!... 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2270 It also protects against the glass ceiling 1.2000 0.04134 80 67 12 1
2271 „A Disney prince has to imitate that for now.“ 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2272 You have no right to be embarrassed, you're the one who wasn't specific about what kind of ride this was going to be. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2273 I usually lose a bit of time on the first two legs, but can make it up on the run" 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2274 I’m looking for the knight train. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2275 Is it just me or are these bikes super hot and clanky? 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2276 Fair maidens in your area looking for a joust in the bedroom. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2277 I"m not sure. I woke up next to it so I'm riding it home. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2278 They keep handing me water instead of an oil can 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2279 You just ride a bicycle. I joust with everything that gets in my path. Who has the exciting life? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2280 They call me "The Park Knight." 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2281 Can I call you back tomorrow? I'm low on my anachronism minutes. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2282 Well you said you wanted to go on a knight ride. 1.2000 0.06006 80 69 6 5
2283 Where's your lance, Lance? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2284 If I don’t get to the fair, Guenevere will have my head. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2285 I missed the knight bus 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2286 Road warrior, my stead abandoned me. 1.2000 0.04673 80 67 11 2
2287 good costume Jane, but the party isn't until tonight! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2288 I prefer Under Armour." 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2289 Safe passage assured, even without my lance. 1.2000 0.04321 80 66 13 1
2290 I'm calling Round Table 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2291 I didn't want to look like all the other New York hipsters" 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2292 So you say your protection fits in a fanny pack?? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2293 She got him in the prenup. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2294 Finally some universal coverage! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2295 Gets me there faster than a horse. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2296 Didn't you hear? Sharon was swallowed by a pothole last week. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2297 Enough of looking back on mounted warriors and galloping horses. A treadmill is more fashionable. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2298 I seem too defensive? How? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2299 I'm taking this self-defense class that's really old school. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2300 Can you fight him off alone another 15 minutes? I underestimated the crosswinds. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2301 See you in the iPhone line at 5am. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2302 I hate to ask this, but did I have a lance when I left this morning? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2303 That's SIR "Urban Warrior", thank you! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2304 'I traded in my horse for it." 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2305 I have lost the Holy Hydroflask. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
2306 Madam, if you may allow me to draft you. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
2307 Didja hear ? Jennifer's pregnant. 1.2000 0.06006 80 69 6 5
2308 With the increase in fatal bicycle accidents, I need more than a helmet to feel safe. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2309 Passing on the knight! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2310 It's the centurion ride. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2311 Can you heat up the leftover mutton and make sure the grog is cold? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
2312 Last time I was late to the Renaissance Faire they went medieval on me. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
2313 Look Sid, next time no dressing room, no knight in shining armor. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
2314 You're too young to remember Knight Rider 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
2315 I misread the IronMan Triathlon rules. The swim was even worse! 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
2316 Yes, iron supplements. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
2317 My high-vis outfit wasn’t doing the trick. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2318 Hello, Lost Dragon Hotline. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2319 This is a lot easier without my lance 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2320 The ride was just OK. I'm a little rusty. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2321 The tour company said to dress for a night ride. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2322 Back in the day, you only wore chainmail. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2323 I thought you said...”Meet me at 8:00 pm for a little night ride” 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2324 What has happened to this horse? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2325 I act like I own the road so why not dress like it also. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2326 Below 52st it's helmet plus armor only. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2327 The city is giving out full sets of plate mail to cyclists this weekend. See, the idea is that trucks drivers recall the medieval institution of knighthood chivalry and are thereby inspired to consider not running me over. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2328 When your crush is more interested in the city he has lived in for years than on your date. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2329 I’ve given up multitasking. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2330 I clearly said trusty dun steed, not rusty one speed. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2331 i Just love a good Knight ride 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2332 A lighter bike would solve everything. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2333 I'm getting ready for the Ironman Triathlon. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2334 I said let’s go for a “night ride.” 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2335 Well, what it lacks in fashion it makes up for as a bug-screen! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2336 If you really want to be my knight in shining armor, you’ll call Uber next time ! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2337 I told you they said to wear Under Armour when exercising, but you never listen to me. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2338 All the City Steeds were being used... 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2339 The other day, I read a book on effectively protecting ourselves from pollution, the aftermath of a nuclear war and best of all, politicians. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2340 I know, I know. I should've encrypted those damn diplomatic messages. 1.1892 0.04377 74 62 11 1
2341 I feel that you and I are living in a different era. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2342 Was that with a kn or an n? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2343 On these streets, I never thought wearing just a helmet was enough protection 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2344 They said if I don't pass it on I'll have bad luck for seven years. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2345 No Mom, I’ve taken every precaution. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my health 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2346 You just squeaked by! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2347 Got this from Under Armour but visor design needs work. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2348 I was told that Armor All makes the wheels go faster 1.1892 0.04161 74 61 13 0
2349 I love David Hasselhoff but I can't afford a car. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2350 This will keep me from being sexually assaulted. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2351 I don't get this. I'm the rider, but also the horse. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2352 - Morning ma'am. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2353 I told them "my kingdom for a horse" but my fitbit intervened. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2354 The higher-SPF creams give me a rash. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2355 My other bike is a charger stallion. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2356 Crap!!! Just realized I left my jousting stick at home! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2357 I grew up watching Knight Rider. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2358 Have any motorists caused you distress? 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2359 No, I’m afraid you’ve reached a different Knight Rider. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2360 Well, you remember what happened to Bono! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2361 Cycling's my THIRD love. Second? Jousting.Of course, my first love is the stage. Why do you ask? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2362 I’m not sure about this trusty six-speed. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2363 I'm training for the tour de Camelot. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2364 I doubt DeBlasio will go for jousting in the bike lanes. But he might like it for his press conferences. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2365 Where's my lance? I knew I'd forgotten something. 1.1892 0.06287 74 65 4 5
2366 Oh no, I have a slipped chainmail again! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2367 "Didn't they say it was an '"Ironman" triathlon?" 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2368 The armor was a gift from my mother. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2369 Pardon me, I'm a little rusty with a bike. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2370 I thought this was supposed to be a summer night spin... 1.1892 0.03429 74 62 12 0
2371 Hello SPCA. Please post: Lost or Stolen. My Trusty Steed. Bountiful Reward!" Gaye Fontoura, Ossining, NY 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2372 This is not what i meant by night riding. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2373 Yes, but it’s great going downhill. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2374 And then they said - you don’t take a horse to a joust fight.” 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2375 I'm embracing aerodynamics! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2376 Tom, I said wear something from UNDER ARMOUR! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2377 Hey, nice knightcycle! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2378 Praytell, Ma'am - Which way to San Diego Comic Con? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2379 It was on sale 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2380 I'm trying to make the whole duel experience more green and animal friendly. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2381 Yes, me lady, I’m on my way to the store right now 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2382 When I said it was bike night, that is not what I meant! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2383 Thanks...It was a real "steel" at that vintage shop downtown. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2384 I don't think that kind of 'chain mail' is going to help! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2385 I'm a mail order bride. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2386 I can’t believe you don’t get it. I’m Sir ‘Lance-alot. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2387 Very retro. Is it wicking? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2388 What do you mean what am I wearing? 1.1892 0.04377 74 62 11 1
2389 I’ll bet it helps with chafing let alone an errant sword attack 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2390 Last weekend, it was the World Naked Bike Ride. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2391 It isn’t everyday you get to meet a ride in shining armour.” 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2392 Yes, Laura, I do get hot, but it is the only way I can get reception on this deserted road. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2393 ...new in town? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2394 It's a rider to my policy 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2395 That's not what I meant when I said you should start rocking Under Armour. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2396 Gosh, the smog seems really bad tonight. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2397 What happened to your horse and pigeon? 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2398 Yeah, sure it's heavy but it got a 5 star safety rating. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2399 I got the homophone wrong when they said it would be a Summer Night ride. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2400 You can't let allergies run your life. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2401 Quit taking your half out of the medieval. 1.1892 0.04584 74 62 11 1
2402 My other body parts need protection too 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2403 I see how the k typo in knight race might have been misleading. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2404 Did a big bay gelding just pass you? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2405 You know, we could have taken the rail trail. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2406 Did you take the reflective tape off my assiette du buttocks again? 1.1892 0.03689 74 63 10 1
2407 I know our roads need work, but really? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2408 I should have bought the Tony Stark bike gear.... 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2409 My misunderstanding, but honestly, Susan, who goes for a 'night ride' through the park?! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2410 Isn't body armor chic the market we're chasing? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2411 For my own safety, I decided to enter the Bronx Age. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2412 Hello, Mom? She said 'gantlet,' but I went with 'gauntlet.' And now she's called the whole thing off! 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2413 I don't know either. Last thing I remember is a lance to the head... 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2414 They replaced my stables with a Citibike rack 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
2415 You lance?! 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
2416 Yes, I need the $5,000 50-pound safety apparel—and yes I need the $15,000 ten-pound bicycle. 1.1892 0.03689 74 63 10 1
2417 Hey, it beats flossing my bridge work after every bike ride. 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
2418 On thy lift! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
2419 You're my Knight in Shining Armor?? Figures! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2420 Can’t wait for the swimming portion. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
2421 Huh, no horses in the city? 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2422 Oh, yes, I go cycling Knight and Day! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2423 This actually isn't any safer I am just training for the jousting tournament 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2424 I got tired of under armour 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2425 When they banned plastic bags, picking up poop was no longer an option. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2426 City Steeds we’re all checked out... 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2427 That helmet makes you invisible. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2428 Hey, didn't Trump say "Good Knight Tweet Sprints"? 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2429 The rental place was all out of armored cars. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2430 So how long will your horse be in the shop? 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2431 Lucy, medieval warfare is great cardio" 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2432 This isn’t the European bike safety measure I had in mind. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2433 I should have oiled myself before riding. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2434 I always liked Lance a lot. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2435 911? I'm being body-shamed by a non-gamer. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2436 This next gen biking outfit protects against road rash 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2437 Beach body? No, I'm working on my Breach body. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2438 Can't tell if it's the steroids or hemorrhoids, but something's changed! 1.1867 0.04326 75 63 11 1
2439 It's just not a good century for you. You're more 17th. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2440 The clanking eliminates the need for a bell. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2441 Your last crash wasn't that bad. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2442 Don't worry I've got this, I'm covered" 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2443 Hey, don't talk to me about ridiculous outfits. 1.1867 0.04113 75 62 13 0
2444 Everything 1.1867 0.03648 75 64 10 1
2445 Artist’s impression of the Battle of Tours (de France) 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2446 Are you sure that this training will garner you a "Knight in Shining Armor?" 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2447 Collided once with a group called “running with the bulls”. Not pretty. Ain’t happening again! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2448 Is it me, or do you too get annoyed each time Bill DiBlasio goes to Iowa? 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2449 Have you seen the movie Knight Rider? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2450 I lost my horse in a joust! 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2451 They take safety and recycling seriously down at daddy's scrapyard. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2452 Talk about a race to the bottom. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2453 I must get this visor fixed - I thought it was knight time again 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2454 To a jousting tournament. Why do you ask? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2455 This wasn't what I had in mind when they asked if I was ready to "ride into battle!" 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2456 I said ‘Night school’ you ninny. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2457 Can't talk right now - I'm on a crusade to bang my new girlfriend! 1.1867 0.04326 75 63 11 1
2458 I think the salesman meant Armorall clothing. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2459 Look, I know I’ve got a gear loose. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2460 Heavy fog on approach, Laguardia. Transition to IFR now. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2461 If you don't look where you're going, you will be one big pile of scrap metal. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2462 It's just a precaution. The lance corporal I broke up with didn't take it well. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2463 Heard there were some pretty rough knights at this town.' 1.1867 0.02811 75 65 9 1
2464 Oh, he's in contest #668? Thank goodness, I've been looking all over for him. 1.1867 0.04530 75 63 11 1
2465 My criteria for eco-friendly bike gear: second hand and no plastics! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2466 In my time your helmet would considered extremely dorky. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2467 I told you, a tin hat would be enough . . . 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2468 It's 14th century CE somewhere. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2469 Cars. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2470 No, I actually I didn't have time to get my brakes fixed. Why do you ask? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2471 The black was more slimming, but this heat is killing me. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
2472 I know Ira, but I fell in love with the helmet! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
2473 Yeah, it's weird, but it's the only way Mom will let me ride through city traffic. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2474 Excuse me, you just missed the off-ramp to the castle. 1.1867 0.04530 75 65 6 3
2475 With my knight visor helmet and metal to the pedal I could go for hours. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
2476 I can't believe some riders feel safe with only a helmet. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2477 I've outgrown just knee pads. 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
2478 You said be ready to attack the course 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
2479 He doesn't use a condom. 1.1842 0.05837 76 66 6 4
2480 Say what you want, but this is a lot faster than a carriage horse. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2481 In a hurry, I forgot I’m working the knight shift 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2482 My dad, the insurance actuary, demands it. lucky me. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2483 I was told it was all downhill from the Middle Ages 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2484 What can I say? It was a good marked down price at the thrift store after Halloween! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2485 My horse went on strike until I lose a few. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2486 Yeah Yeah. I am late for the work! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2487 It protects against brain tumors. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2488 It's a metaphor. I did it for you. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2489 Thou too? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2490 Ya great protection, but sunny days suck. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2491 Where are your lights? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
2492 I guess I misread the flyer for this Under Armour fun ride. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2493 Obviously you just moved here! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2494 That's the thing with upselling. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2495 Yeah, but it’s the jousting that’s the hardest part. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
2496 Yes, jousting is a bit more difficult. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2497 Prithee, hast thou seen a green bike? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2498 You bring new meaning to being passed. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2499 I'm training for the 'Tour de Gaul.' 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
2500 It's great for losing weight, but it's a lot of work keeping ahead of the rust inside. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
2501 The hard part is tilting . 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
2502 i only wear this when cycling through central park... 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
2503 Baywatch was ok but I think I do my best work as Night Rider. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
2504 They were out of Under Armour. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2505 ...and then he said, ‘sorry Carl, there’s not enough room at the table’. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
2506 I don't usually do this, but I'm training for an Ironman. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
2507 Me horse's saddle feels worse on me 'bum than usual! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2508 The Lady of the Lake was out of swords 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2509 I have a handicap. My rear tire is deflated and so am I. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2510 Sorry, you’re looking for a different knight rider. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2511 Your Highness, I really shouldn't protect and text. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2512 I've just been sponsored by Over Armour. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2513 That rain shower was worse than I expected ! My hand is stuck ! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2514 She didn't believe that I worked at Medieval Times--had to prove it somehow! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2515 I haven't rode one of these in ages. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2516 Ye,can't be to safe. 1.1714 0.06095 70 62 4 4
2517 I dropped my damned lance, that's what!! 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2518 I foresee dented taxi bumpers and flats! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2519 It’s the closest I could get to jousting. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2520 How was I supposed to know her father was general manager at Medieval Times? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2521 Mom, I've already found a use for my degree in medieval history. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2522 It just doesn't seem fair when the other knights use 4 wheeled mounts. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2523 I'm sorry, okay. I'm still stuck on outmoded ideas of courtly love. I thought you might like it. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2524 After you -- chivalry's not dead! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2525 Team Exxon: Rejects climate change and aerodynamics but pays females equal. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2526 But now, I'm way past the Paleo thing. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2527 I'm ahead by a whole bike length 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2528 My lance is where? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2529 She said she was looking forward to entering her middle ages. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2530 It looks better than training wheels. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2531 No, Lois, it’s only an 8 speed. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2532 I hate these new machines you people call cars. In my days... 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2533 Hey, I'm calling you; why aren't you answering your phone? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2534 No, it’s ArmORstrong. But I get that a lot. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2535 I figured lances, car doors; they're about the same hazzards. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2536 Since motorists have gotten worse, I need all the protection I can get. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2537 The potholes around here aren't THAT bad! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2538 It's faster than riding horseback but the rest stops are hell. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2539 I forgot my helmet! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2540 Can't talk, Cathy. I'm late for a bike joust. 1.1714 0.06095 70 62 4 4
2541 My trainer may have some out dated techniques, but now I have legs of steel. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2542 ...and so the kid goes, "Like, what chair, man"? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2543 Not exactly what I expected when you said wanna go for a night ride?? 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2544 It's bike to work day. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2545 We can’t make it for dinner later…she says she wants a night in, shining armor. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2546 Knight riding under the stars 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2547 I left my trusty steed in the 12th Century” 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2548 My horse is lame today. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2549 Extra weight for the downhill is not fair! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2550 Any interest in joining our group, Knights of the Round Wheel? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2551 I’m looking for my Lance! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2552 My chain mail needs oiling! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2553 I guess I'm just looking to protect a broader range of body parts? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2554 I know it squeaks, but I maxed-out my Amazon account and couldn't order the visor lube. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2555 This is what I call a nightmare ride! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2556 But they said there is a three dollar an hour bump for the (k)night shift! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2557 Facial recognition software drives me nuts. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2558 I don't think this reboot of Knight Rider is gonna work out. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2559 I'm checking with OnStar now as to our whereabouts! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2560 Trusty steed. Ha! 1.1714 0.04760 70 61 7 2
2561 Lowering the face guard might benefit both of us. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2562 Joan, coming out is more normal than being a knight in armor cycling into battle. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2563 Just some protection in case I run over any BABs. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2564 But what does the sub-squad do? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2565 I prefer riding in the knight time. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2566 What Renaissance Festival? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2567 ...and insects are a REAL bitch! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2568 I don't want to be just a head in a jar. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2569 I thought RAGBRAI was some sort of Viking invasion. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2570 My horse is off today, enjoying his 4-day work week. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2571 Buy new pants?? I could have sworn you said you wanted to try my new lance! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2572 I think I need to take it in for a lube job, along with my bike. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2573 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2574 I've heard that medieval armor is the next best thing to air bags in your car! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2575 I warned you - it's all downhill from here!! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2576 Which way to the jousting competition? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2577 Out for a little knight riding? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2578 80s Nostalgia is in, but a Knight Ride May have been too much 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2579 Portland is so different. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2580 ... the difference is "Back To The Future" was just a movie AND they used a car!! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2581 Reception's still bad. Maybe I should try the tin hat again. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2582 You know you should carry a water bottle on your bike. These rides can really work up a sweat. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2583 Skid Road is the next exit. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2584 I'm returning the free suit that came with the helmet. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2585 I know by all outward appearances that my safety suit looks confining. But in reality, the bells of freedom are ringing loud and clear in this new crotchless version. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2586 I love your parents, but I’m not willing to go through airport security again. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2587 Okay, I agree with you. The whole suit of armour probably wasn't necessary 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2588 Tell your manager that the armor is NOT bike friendly. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2589 The guy at the bike store said to wear a helmet 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2590 My trusty steed's in the shoppe. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2591 I’m prepared should I fall from my trusty steed. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
2592 And yet I'm still getting catcalled. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
2593 She’s already started on the Tin Man jokes... now what? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
2594 On your right. And do you know where I can buy a turkey leg drumstick? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
2595 I thought I asked you to bring Lance 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
2596 I feel safer, but if the urge to go comes, I may regret this. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
2597 My horse is in the shop so I’m stuck biking. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2598 Damn I forgot my shades. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2599 I don’t think exercise would get you under the weight limit for the ride 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2600 It worked for Ghost Rider. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2601 Dorothy, this is the Yellow Brick Road. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2602 I'm safer sure, but I keep getting flat tires. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2603 I've always been a knight owl. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2604 Looks like rain, did you bring the oil can! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2605 No, I ordered Chainmail oil, not Chain oil. Seriously, what year is this? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2606 My yellow jersey's at the cleaners 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2607 I thought I heard talk about a lance and needing to make sure my arms were strong... 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2608 This is my "Uber-All" bike outfit designed to protect me from all opening taxi doors. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2609 So tell me. How do you like your telemarketing job? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2610 I'm training for the Tour de Medieval France 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2611 I'd fit in perfectly at a lobster boil. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2612 Oh. Sorry. I meant night-riding. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2613 G’day, Sheryl of Cheshire Apartments! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2614 M'lady 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2615 I'm ready for preventable accidents." 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2616 Queens are doing the slaying now, so we got demoted to bikes. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2617 You aught to wear something wither higher visibility when riding at knight 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2618 In Game of Thrones they never take them off. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2619 On your right, Hasselhoff. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2620 I'm better at jousting than long distances. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2621 Sponsored by Armor All. Why? 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2622 Aerodynamics are sweet. The chaffing is medieval. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2623 I'm afraid the yellow jersey won't stretch to fit over my breastplate. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2624 I’ll do whatever it takes to win! 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2625 I told them I needed a quarter horse, not a bicycle course. How much farther? 1.1642 0.04801 67 59 6 2
2626 With today's drivers, you can't be too careful. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2627 Wish I were Lance ArmStrong 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2628 I think this is more suited to winter riding. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2629 I'm busy all day, so I only have time for knight rides. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2630 Tell Merlin his shortcut didn't quite work, sire. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2631 My jousting horse lost a shoe. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2632 I forgot my lance! 1.1642 0.03743 67 57 10 0
2633 This route goes past Trump Tower and Bergdorfs so I'm not taking any chances. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2634 Yeah, I found this suit of armor at my local Goodwill. It was a total steel! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2635 I never had to worry about my fertility on my last steed. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2636 If there’s a chink in my armor, it’s the downhills 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2637 The armor doesn't obviate the insanity. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2638 Is that to protect your body when you fall? Not really, it’s to protect my identity on Amazon Prime Day. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2639 Why don't we just cross the finish line together, holding hands? 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2640 It’s late, good night. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2641 I misread "safe guard protection" in the description. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2642 That homeless guy looked like Trump, Praise be. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2643 What do mean a night ride?! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2644 Ni! Ni! Night My Lady 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2645 Ya, bike chain lubricant is pretty versatile. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2646 En-garde. On your right. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2647 "I ran out of sun screen." 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2648 No wonder your wearing body armor. Dumbass 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2649 This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you said we’d ride off into the sunset together. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2650 Is it dangerous? Do I need my mace? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2651 I choose to wear all this armor when cycling because of all the jerks that are looking at their iPhones instead of the roads. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2652 The name’s Lancelot, but you can just call me Lance 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2653 I Charlemagne am invincible on my fiery steed Tencendur! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2654 do you think this will give me enough sun protection ? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2655 Can I call you back? I have to change gears on my steed. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2656 What am I doing? Being a knight in shining armor, of course. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2657 You sure don't want to drop your phone at this speed; better hold it with both hands. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2658 Vision Zero is running low on ideas since the Bike Mayor is spending all his time in Iowa. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2659 Her Ladyship has gone vegan. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2660 I told you you had to readjust your helmet! 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2661 I would regret it if it wasn’t 40% off retail 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2662 Find me on TikTok, @lancelot_armourstrong! 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2663 Good knight to you, sir! 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2664 Calling me Sir Bikes-a-lot isn't helping. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2665 We missed the last turn? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2666 This is one lazy-ass horse. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2667 No, I don't know of a good fender repair shop. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2668 Where is my Lance, Armstrong? I don't get it. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2669 Ride and talk don't Ride and Text. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2670 Knights of the Cross?? I thought they said Knights of the Cross-Training! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2671 No, I said chain oil, not chain mail. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2672 I see the Middle Ages are ahead of me. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2673 Why yes; I am the knight rider. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2674 Mark Twain and King Arthur said hi 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2675 I meant as in "night and day".... 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2676 I'm saving a ton of money on carrots. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2677 Whoops, it’s time for me to re-lube again. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2678 Since I got married, riding a bicycle hasn't been what it used to be. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2679 I have taken peyote/mushrooms twice therefore I am ahead of you and the smog. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2680 HIS idea of a chastity belt. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2681 It's my Halloween costume. I'm a Knight Rider. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2682 Pretty sure I said to buy the Under Ar mour cycling gear... 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2683 'I know you got a great deal, but did it include brakes?' 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2684 You misunderstood. It's a product that makes your tires shine. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2685 These throwback trends are getting out of hand. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2686 There's a mongrel on this ride I can't wait to have bite me. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2687 I can buy the helmet and gloves, but the greaves are killing me. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2688 I have to hold the visor up like this while riding - otherwise my vision is zero. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2689 The actual jousting part of it doesn't appeal to me. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2690 The salesman said it’s required for night rides. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2691 Good knight! It's hot ride today. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2692 I’ll feel safer. The knights drive very aggressively. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2693 What? Knight riding’s no picnic... 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2694 Now you're ready to take on Manhattan. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2695 You've heard of performance enhancing drugs? Well this is a performance degrading drug, except its not actually a drug, it is a kind of uniform to give protection. It is made out of metal which is very heavy and makes it hard to move these pedals. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2696 And that's why I gave up swimming. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2697 Today, I'm a bike messenger, but you know the advice. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2698 Why , I wear under armour,of course 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2699 What? You're having an acrophobia moment? We're just on a path CALLED the High Line! 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2700 My horse showed me a great shortcut this way. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2701 I'm not only better protected, but I also burn more calories. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2702 Maybe some Under Armor would help.. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2703 Sometimes your knight and shining armor forgets his horse 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2704 It would be more convincing if your tires weren't exposed. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2705 Jeff, don’t you think you’ve taken the 'Ironman' a little too literal?" 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2706 I'm not taking any chances. You would be horrified by the number of bicyclers killed in this city every year. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2707 Over Armour...Over Armour! I'm in on the ground floor. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2708 Now, this is a helmet. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2709 My electronic helmet is giving a beep that I love you. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2710 It's actually 'Sir Douchebag' 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2711 Bill, hold for a minute. I dropped my lance. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2712 I never learned to drive, but loved the old series Knight Rider. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2713 You should get an endorsement from Under Armour for wearing that Body Armor! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2714 I made everything from recycled materials. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2715 “Safety – It's Never Enough” 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2716 Hi, I'm Knightrider, passing on your left. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2717 I just find Over Armour to be much more durable. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2718 Hey, don't text and drive! I'm right here. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2719 Is that 5G? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2720 Don't you think biking when we could've just taken an Uber is a bit medieval? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2721 I am going downtown. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2722 The drag on my body is reduced; the less drag on, the better. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2723 Old technologies are good technologies. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2724 Didn't do the laundry this week. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2725 Forsooth, I’m being chased on the Highline. Bring my mace and hurry thyself. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2726 Want to race to the Dark Ages? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2727 Joust, schmoust. Let's just ride. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2728 Aye, my stallion is mechanic, what of it, Karen? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2729 Yes and my bike also comes with the latest super light carbon fiber alloy frame! 1.1642 0.03743 67 57 10 0
2730 I'm allergic to sunlight. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2731 You mean these triggers aren't for the torpedos? 1.1642 0.04305 67 58 8 1
2732 I am training for the Joan of Arc Tour De France. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2733 I'll be molting soon. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2734 That’s taking being a road warrior a little far, don’t you think? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2735 This is the very latest in athletic fashion it 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2736 I think you misunderstood about being cool in Under Armor. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2737 Your supposed to be on a white horse. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2738 I'm protecting myself from 5G! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2739 Obey the traffic laws, and you can wear shorts 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2740 I thought you said that we were riding a Centurion. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2741 Look, I know I'm not dreaming - most drivers are aiming at us. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2742 I want everything to be carbon fibre. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2743 Leave the phone at home and save some money on your wardrobe. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2744 Did they have to hoist you onto your mount with a crane? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2745 This iron woman contest is ridiculous 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2746 In fact I wear it all the time in case the knight in shining armor pun presents itself. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2747 I’m one of the founding members of Knights on Bikes. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2748 The armor’s carbon fiber, too - very light but doesn’t breathe... 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2749 Chivalry isn't dead, but it could lose some weight. 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2750 But everyone was wearing this during the Tour de Franks... 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2751 Cool, but how do you deal with nature in that outfit? 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2752 Wasn’t there suppose to be a jousting segment in this triathlon? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2753 This codpiece seems to be limiting my mobility. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2754 You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find parking for a horse! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2755 bicycle is the new white horse 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
2756 My horse left me to work for Medieval Times 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
2757 Do you still name them? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2758 You know George I liked you better when you were a squire. 1.1642 0.04305 67 58 8 1
2759 Good Knight, sir! Pay attention to the road! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2760 Just to let you know that's a dragon not an airplane" 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
2761 I don't think this medieval skin care routine is working out for me 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
2762 My day job is a bike courier. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58