Contest #667


Cartoon

667

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Let's just go with the open floor plan.”
  2. “They’re not testing our intelligence. They’re testing our marriage.”
  3. "It's been tested on humans."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-06-23T21:09:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-07-14T21:10:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-07-01T21:09:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 8, 2019
Number of captions 6215
Number of responses 1117451
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Maybe we should try thinking inside the box. 2.1550 0.00575 16444 3403 7091 5950
1 Look, it's right here - "cheese sold separately" 2.0446 0.00622 15860 4528 6097 5235
2 This is the last time I sign up for a research experiment sponsored by Ikea. 2.0364 0.00713 13032 4091 4377 4564
3 You're right; it's a trap. 2.0224 0.00748 10898 3204 4246 3448
4 Let's just go with the open floor plan. 1.9932 0.00655 13680 4069 5642 3969
5 They’re not testing our intelligence. They’re testing our marriage. 1.9788 0.00697 13374 4498 4671 4205
6 I think we can build a better one. 1.9512 0.00703 12751 4357 4667 3727
7 If we move the cheese tray to the front, we'll save a lot of running around later. 1.9125 0.00719 11524 3979 4576 2969
8 Now that we ate the cheese I kinda don't see the point. 1.9070 0.00788 10211 3775 3617 2819
9 Remind me again how this will prevent us from getting Alzheimer’s. 1.8895 0.00974 6917 2693 2295 1929
10 Who writes these instructions...cats? 1.8892 0.01004 6609 2606 2129 1874
11 Well this is just great honey. The directions are written in gerbil. 1.8390 0.00784 10445 4332 3463 2650
12 Apparently he expects us to do his entire science project for a piece of cheese. 1.8381 0.01506 2576 994 1005 577
13 Let’s try thinking inside the box. 1.8252 0.01394 3044 1213 1150 681
14 We're in the control group. The experimental group doesn't get the instructions 1.8235 0.00851 7852 3048 3142 1662
15 Let's just go to live in the box it came in. 1.8141 0.00831 8849 3676 3142 2031
16 To heck with this. Let’s go poop in their sock drawer again. 1.7954 0.00968 6975 3140 2122 1713
17 I dunno. This feels like a trap. 1.7817 0.00766 9435 3867 3763 1805
18 Those Swedish mice think they are so clever 1.7693 0.00953 6411 2776 2338 1297
19 Its mostly hallways and dead ends, but its affordable. 1.7692 0.00995 5463 2306 2133 1024
20 "Let's get Mexico to build it. 1.7425 0.01067 5658 2738 1639 1281
21 At last, a maze of our own. 1.7406 0.01724 1881 833 703 345
22 Well wouldn’t you know it? “Cheese not included.” 1.7385 0.00805 8328 3623 3263 1442
23 This confirms we're females - we're reading the instructions 1.7357 0.01159 4499 2111 1466 922
24 These are the best laid plans I’ve ever seen! 1.7357 0.01090 5213 2485 1621 1107
25 Told you. Cheese not included. 1.7334 0.01160 3987 1743 1564 680
26 I'm lost already. 1.7293 0.00878 7430 3407 2627 1396
27 Once we finish this, then we’ll teach him to give us food when we press the lever. 1.7226 0.01067 5003 2312 1767 924
28 Why are we always doing this on Christmas Eve? 1.7201 0.01103 4787 2251 1625 911
29 This would be so much easier with a drill, glue, and prefrontal cortex. 1.7152 0.01259 3820 1855 1198 767
30 Maybe this IS the test. 1.7141 0.01942 1420 641 544 235
31 We go full Escher on this and blow some minds. 1.7127 0.01308 3595 1770 1088 737
32 They said if we build it, the cheese will come. 1.7120 0.02028 1389 654 481 254
33 Let's stop now while we still love each other. 1.7120 0.01246 3566 1649 1295 622
34 I miss our hole in the wall... 1.7115 0.01307 3272 1523 1170 579
35 What we need are some carpenter ants. 1.7105 0.01134 4635 2250 1479 906
36 No, I can't read the instructions. They're in Swedish. Also, I am a mouse. 1.7029 0.02038 1390 669 465 256
37 Forget the instructions. Let's build a maze we can get out of. 1.6997 0.01082 4748 2246 1682 820
38 The last time you made one of these without reading the instructions, it took us a week to get out! 1.6923 0.01023 5148 2425 1883 840
39 I take it they didn’t get the grant. 1.6909 0.01358 3083 1500 1036 547
40 I remember the days when all you had to do was ring a bell." 1.6907 0.01322 3084 1455 1128 501
41 'Why are WE building a better mousetrap?" 1.6905 0.01468 2756 1377 855 524
42 I'm building a wall, a beautiful wall, and trust me, the gato is going to pay for it. 1.6845 0.01544 2650 1387 712 551
43 I'm thinking a center aisle with cheese rooms on either side. 1.6844 0.01237 3406 1595 1291 520
44 Based on prior experiments, if we put a piece of cheese in the far corner, the humans will put the maze together for us. 1.6802 0.01151 4303 2137 1406 760
45 Okay. Now all we need is opposable thumbs. 1.6775 0.02120 1293 651 408 234
46 I bet the monkeys with the typewriters are having more fun. 1.6763 0.01355 3058 1514 1020 524
47 What the hell is an Allen wrench? 1.6751 0.02100 1305 656 417 232
48 After all this, it’d better be Brie. 1.6730 0.01700 1988 1002 634 352
49 Of course we memorize it, but if you go straight to the cheese they'll dissect your brain. 1.6675 0.02274 1152 598 339 215
50 All the parts are here – we must be in the control group. 1.6549 0.01539 2301 1176 749 376
51 Who's Allen? 1.6421 0.01798 1805 965 521 319
52 These grad students get lazier every year. 1.6389 0.01958 1407 725 465 217
53 First we build it, then we flip it. 1.6344 0.01555 2172 1112 742 318
54 IKEA is a Swedish word meaning "a part is missing". 1.6342 0.02053 1364 735 394 235
55 Wait, you already ate the cheese? 1.6258 0.02454 898 476 283 139
56 Why are "we" trying to build a better mousetrap? 1.6232 0.03115 613 341 162 110
57 So... can you read? 1.6215 0.01656 1934 1017 632 285
58 I thought this was supposed to be confusing after it was built. 1.6161 0.01432 2652 1425 820 407
59 The maze is an intelligence test. Building the maze is a relationship test. 1.6133 0.02196 1161 636 338 187
60 Don’t worry. They’ll never be able to put it together. It’s from Ikea. 1.6113 0.02327 939 492 320 127
61 OK, here's the plan: we hide a couple of the screws, and while he's on hold with customer service, we make a run for it with the cheese.... 1.6026 0.01990 1379 759 409 211
62 An emergency exit---why, that's a great idea! 1.6025 0.01614 2000 1076 643 281
63 And then they act surprised when we go directly to the cheese. 1.6020 0.02031 1294 705 399 190
64 It comes standard with Swiss, but you can upgrade to cheddar. 1.5986 0.01684 1831 990 586 255
65 Okay, the first red flag is that there's no exit." 1.5971 0.01681 1787 956 595 236
66 I am thinking outside the box! 1.5968 0.01603 1984 1067 650 267
67 These budget cuts at the lab are getting ridiculous. 1.5967 0.01558 2058 1096 696 266
68 Wait...what if THIS is the test? 1.5962 0.01768 1679 921 517 241
69 Always act like you can’t find your way, or the humans won’t add more cheese. 1.5945 0.01623 1931 1041 632 258
70 This is bullshit. Lenny and Gary are in the next room getting high. 1.5904 0.01991 1455 862 336 257
71 Maybe thinking outside the box will help 1.5851 0.01594 2068 1150 626 292
72 I'm not saying I won't help you, I'm just saying there are easier ways to get some cheese. 1.5813 0.02740 652 353 219 80
73 Did you keep the receipt? 1.5804 0.01975 1318 731 409 178
74 This is the last time we buy anything at IKEA. 1.5792 0.01730 1837 1054 502 281
75 Who the hell is Allen Key? 1.5769 0.01763 1723 983 488 252
76 Give a mouse a maze, and it eats cheese for a day. Teach a mouse to build a maze, and it eats cheese for lifetime. 1.5759 0.01893 1429 797 441 191
77 Trust me. 2 words: Feng shui. 1.5749 0.02065 1242 705 360 177
78 The instructions look like they were written by a squirrel. 1.5735 0.01843 1524 858 458 208
79 I'm thinking we could list the spare room on Airbnb. 1.5733 0.02701 682 377 219 86
80 It says it's a two man job, but are we men or mice? 1.5723 0.01974 1356 772 392 192
81 We’ll look busy during the day, and hide the dirt from the tunnel underneath at night. 1.5714 0.02889 609 341 188 80
82 Where are we going to get a phillips screwdriver? 1.5692 0.01819 1567 889 464 214
83 Fortunately, this is a Monday puzzle. Those are the easiest. 1.5686 0.02024 1254 709 377 168
84 I just hope we got the actual drug this time and not the placebo. 1.5674 0.01864 1484 842 442 200
85 Get this, the dogs listen to a bell and eat. That's it. 1.5635 0.02320 953 543 283 127
86 If we ignore the directions and keep the open-floor plan, we'll find the cheese much faster. 1.5621 0.02604 692 380 235 77
87 I liked the one at the lab so much I thought, why not have one at home? 1.5621 0.03439 427 242 130 55
88 Let's see if there's a YouTube video. 1.5615 0.02797 650 370 195 85
89 do you want that Phd or do you want to be a lab rat your whole life? 1.5599 0.02029 1236 706 368 162
90 Are you sure that if we build it, the cheese will come? 1.5596 0.01957 1326 757 396 173
91 It looked so easy at Ikea 1.5572 0.02004 1303 757 366 180
92 Remember, the longer we act lost, the more cheese we get. 1.5567 0.02077 1128 635 358 135
93 What d'ya say we forget the maze and eat the directions? 1.5550 0.02312 964 558 277 129
94 I told you, it says it right here - Cheese not included. 1.5533 0.01949 1238 691 409 138
95 I think the white coats will be more impressed if we don’t follow the directions. 1.5522 0.01961 1217 679 404 134
96 If these instructions are how humans build mousetraps, we're definitely safe. 1.5495 0.02822 646 377 183 86
97 I didn't expect the cuts in federal funding to get this bad. 1.5493 0.03158 517 302 146 69
98 Maybe we shouldn't have solved that last maze so quickly. 1.5464 0.02039 1109 621 370 118
99 I bet we could train a graduate student to build it for us 1.5456 0.02121 1085 623 332 130
100 This is what we get for performing so well in the last maze. 1.5456 0.02278 878 490 297 91
101 Why would we want to build a better mousetrap? 1.5453 0.03031 596 360 147 89
102 I know it’s a trap, but this is our chance to build a BETTER one. 1.5446 0.02082 1098 625 348 125
103 It was bad enough when they just made us solve the damned thing. 1.5446 0.02138 1065 612 326 127
104 Spanish, French, Russian, English, Farsi, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese... nope, no instructions in Rodent. Again. 1.5436 0.02937 596 351 166 79
105 This doesn't have to be our "forever" maze 1.5398 0.02177 1004 576 314 114
106 Don't feel bad - humans can't follow these instuctions, either. 1.5357 0.02720 700 419 187 94
107 I’m not going back to that store. It’s like a maze. 1.5353 0.02286 949 558 274 117
108 I know its cheap particle board but our lifespan is only 9-12 months 1.5344 0.02231 958 565 278 115
109 You gotta think outside of the box 1.5344 0.02790 625 365 186 74
110 The Swedish mice can do it. 1.5342 0.02905 584 343 170 71
111 Let’s just eat the cheese and call it a day. 1.5341 0.02952 558 326 166 66
112 Build a better what? 1.5333 0.02302 932 549 269 114
113 Wait... the picture had cheese. 1.5307 0.02315 895 523 269 103
114 Could be a trap. 1.5307 0.02328 880 513 267 100
115 Wait...we're out. Just why're we doing this? 1.5289 0.02966 571 341 158 72
116 If you think this is difficult, you should see what they gave the hamster. 1.5270 0.02514 778 462 222 94
117 The most important thing is that it needs to look hard to them. 1.5260 0.02350 846 493 261 92
118 Running on a wheel isn't enough, now they want us to build our own cubicles. 1.5257 0.02393 837 493 248 96
119 I ask only because your last "magic cheese machine" snapped Mildred's neck. 1.5256 0.02810 664 406 167 91
120 Cheese sold separately. 1.5256 0.02420 841 501 238 102
121 I don’t know if this is to test our intelligence, or if they really can’t figure it out themselves. 1.5255 0.02853 628 380 166 82
122 Forget the instructions. We build a straight path to the cheese. 1.5243 0.02375 843 496 252 95
123 Do you see the irony here? 1.5231 0.02699 671 400 191 80
124 Screw it, let's just eat the instructions. 1.5228 0.02706 723 446 176 101
125 It's a mousepad from Ikea! What did you expect? 1.5206 0.02529 801 491 204 106
126 On second thought, open plan would be nice. 1.5203 0.02425 788 462 242 84
127 I think they're testing us. 1.5198 0.02427 781 457 242 82
128 But really, don't we all build our own prisons? 1.5194 0.02491 774 461 224 89
129 Whose idea was it to order from Ikea, anyway? 1.5161 0.02471 777 463 227 87
130 Since you are new to these intelligence tests, I’ll give you a tip: the more leftover screws you have at the end, the higher your IKEA. 1.5161 0.02601 777 483 187 107
131 You think this is a trap? 1.5160 0.02569 748 453 204 91
132 According to all the published studies we are supposed to be arguing right now 1.5140 0.03068 500 300 144 56
133 Buy from Ikea, you said. We'll save money, you said. 1.5137 0.03025 582 365 135 82
134 I told you, Råttfälla is Swedish for mousetrap! 1.5127 0.02551 747 452 207 88
135 If we're not careful, this could be a dead end job. 1.5110 0.03281 454 276 124 54
136 This time wait till we finish before you poop on the instructions. 1.5103 0.03017 584 368 134 82
137 Why are the instructions always written in Hamster? 1.5101 0.02625 694 419 196 79
138 We Get This Right and It's, 'Hello, Silicon Valley!' 1.5083 0.03231 480 296 124 60
139 What do you think of an open concept this time? 1.5073 0.02563 684 405 211 68
140 It was bound to come to this, what with all the cuts to the research budget. 1.5059 0.02650 674 408 191 75
141 Look I know I sound crazy, but the voice in my dream said, "if you build it, cheese will come." 1.5031 0.02764 642 396 169 77
142 Hey, it beats growing a human ear out of the back of your head. 1.5025 0.02907 595 371 149 75
143 goddamn Ikea! 1.5023 0.02735 665 413 170 82
144 There will be enough room for 15 babies every 4 weeks. 1.5009 0.02861 583 357 160 66
145 Let’s just cut to the cheese. 1.4992 0.02766 619 379 171 69
146 Looks like we are doing the IKEA divorce study again. 1.4975 0.02809 609 376 163 70
147 Oh great, "Cheese not included." 1.4968 0.02629 626 372 197 57
148 Let's mess with them and make it impossible. 1.4967 0.02791 600 367 168 65
149 Let's really mess with them and build it ourselves. 1.4950 0.02850 600 374 155 71
150 It's a joint research project between Johns Hopkins and IKEA. 1.4941 0.02855 593 369 155 69
151 No, the Lab guy doesn’t know that we have this. 1.4931 0.02887 576 358 152 66
152 Now remember, this is a relationship test, not an intelligence one—so just do what I say. 1.4930 0.02820 574 350 165 59
153 If we build it, the cheese will come. 1.4923 0.02917 587 371 143 73
154 Just make sure to play dumb and go down a couple dead ends.. 1.4920 0.03212 435 264 128 43
155 Seriously....an offset hex wrench? We won’t even have opposable thumbs for at least 60 million years 1.4915 0.02886 590 371 148 71
156 'Maüsmaïze'? It's like they're not even trying anymore. 1.4912 0.02775 568 342 173 53
157 I don't like these directions. It could be a trap. 1.4910 0.03707 332 203 95 34
158 Maybe we're overthinking this. 1.4905 0.03037 475 289 140 46
159 Well, let's give it a try. I know these prefab homes aren't great, but it could beat the heck out of that hole-in-the-wall we're living in now! 1.4902 0.02989 563 358 134 71
160 It's been tested on humans. 1.4883 0.02882 557 344 154 59
161 Nice job, Einstein, it says: 'cheese sold separately!' 1.4882 0.02946 549 343 144 62
162 It can't be that hard, we found our way out of the store. 1.4864 0.02938 551 345 144 62
163 I like it as is, with the open floor plan. 1.4863 0.02943 547 342 144 61
164 I told you to pay for assembly 1.4862 0.02928 545 339 147 59
165 Just once could we be in the control group? 1.4860 0.02960 537 335 143 59
166 And then we can sublet the spare room to a Millennial. 1.4857 0.03114 490 307 128 55
167 Seems a little pointless since we already ate the cheese. 1.4850 0.02859 532 323 160 49
168 Geometric shapes, clean lines. I'm thinking classic Bauhaus. 1.4846 0.02952 518 319 147 52
169 You're right, we should have paid for assembly. 1.4834 0.02921 513 315 149 49
170 No, I said I’m into Krafts. 1.4833 0.02853 540 350 127 63
171 Sure, it's gonna be a real pain to put together, but if it gets Junior into an Ivy League it'll be well worth it. 1.4817 0.03397 436 281 100 55
172 They make it look so easy in the lab! 1.4815 0.02842 513 308 163 42
173 It says a five-year-old child could do it. Go find a five-year-old child. 1.4815 0.02940 513 318 144 51
174 Next they’ll want us to publish our findings. 1.4814 0.02981 511 317 142 52
175 These millennial scientists expect everything to be done for them! 1.4807 0.02936 493 299 151 43
176 If we do this right, they'll never find us. 1.4800 0.03412 400 251 106 43
177 Did YOU know we had to buy the cheese separately? 1.4790 0.03150 499 321 117 61
178 Are these the best-laid plans of mice and men? 1.4790 0.03188 499 324 111 64
179 They’re testing our spatial reasoning and you’re testing my patience. 1.4773 0.02971 507 315 142 50
180 They just landed a huge grant to study irony. 1.4769 0.03054 497 313 131 53
181 I admit, I’m feeling less enthusiastic about this project now that I’ve eaten the cheese. 1.4764 0.03045 487 304 134 49
182 We may have a conflict of interest 1.4763 0.02984 485 298 143 44
183 These instructions make about as much sense as a New Yorker cartoon. 1.4754 0.03254 467 302 108 57
184 I don't know Jerry, this seems like a conflict of interest. 1.4747 0.03814 316 199 84 33
185 Now remember, just pretend like you don’t know how to get out, then escape through this loose panel and we’ll meet by the air vents. 1.4725 0.03214 455 290 115 50
186 It was easier when we only had to solve the maze. 1.4723 0.03031 487 305 134 48
187 Since we're two blind mice, this has to be one of those fancy double-blind experiments. 1.4720 0.03124 464 292 125 47
188 Used to be we only had to run these stupid things. Now we also have to assemble them? 1.4720 0.03048 464 287 135 42
189 I'm telling you, dude. These things are cheese magnets. 1.4711 0.03094 467 293 128 46
190 Either we're getting smarter or they're getting lazier. 1.4703 0.03041 472 294 134 44
191 Beats playing run from the python in the lab next door. 1.4697 0.03193 462 296 115 51
192 This year's grad students are the laziest ever. 1.4694 0.02933 458 291 125 42
193 Lets put the cheese right at the entrance this time. 1.4689 0.03224 450 288 113 49
194 I say chuck these directions, and go open concept. 1.4688 0.02903 465 280 152 33
195 Frankly, I'd rather get lost in a good book. 1.4684 0.04197 269 173 66 30
196 Now that we've eaten the cheese, the rest seems kind of unnecessary. 1.4683 0.03158 457 290 120 47
197 The instructions make sense, but where do I get "thumbs" 1.4681 0.03243 455 294 109 52
198 I feel like we're being tested. 1.4677 0.02954 464 283 145 36
199 Remember the good old days when they only expected us to find the cheese. 1.4673 0.03230 443 283 113 47
200 What do you mean it says "Cheese Not Included"? 1.4671 0.03350 441 289 98 54
201 What would I.M. Pei do? 1.4670 0.03219 439 279 115 45
202 It's hard work and the food rewards are terrible, but it sure beats glowing in the dark or finding a human ear attached to your back. 1.4662 0.03256 444 286 109 49
203 Something about this feels like a trap. 1.4661 0.03172 457 292 117 48
204 If it’s done then why are there so many extra pieces 1.4658 0.03481 380 243 97 40
205 What would Escher do? 1.4658 0.03580 380 248 87 45
206 I don't understand the directions, either. Tell you what, let's have sex and in three weeks maybe the new kids can figure it out. 1.4649 0.03272 441 285 107 49
207 So as we begin to put this together, we need to observe the reaction of our test subjects over there in the white coats”.. 1.4647 0.03145 439 283 111 45
208 Say "a-maze-ing" one more time, fucker. I dare you. 1.4631 0.03358 434 285 97 52
209 Tell me again why we're building something that makes cheese harder to find? 1.4630 0.03240 432 276 112 44
210 I say we put the cheese at the start. 1.4622 0.03402 370 232 105 33
211 Mexico's paying for it. 1.4621 0.03231 435 286 100 49
212 How can this be cat proof with no roof??? 1.4617 0.03547 379 247 89 43
213 We're mice, not men! Follow the instructions. 1.4614 0.03112 427 275 111 41
214 Did you try the Swedish meatballs while you were there? 1.4614 0.03216 427 271 115 41
215 I hear they have the hamsters building wheels. 1.4614 0.03216 427 271 115 41
216 Too complicated. Might I suggest an open floor plan? 1.4614 0.03164 427 268 121 38
217 Remember, IKEA always leaves out one screw! 1.4612 0.03278 425 273 108 44
218 Well, I'm lost already. 1.4612 0.03227 425 270 114 41
219 We're prisoners of our own device. 1.4612 0.03359 399 255 104 40
220 Now I really think the guy in the lab coat is just screwing with us." 1.4606 0.03371 406 262 101 43
221 This could take a while. Shall we order take-out from Hole Foods? 1.4603 0.03223 441 284 111 46
222 Affordable mousing. 1.4601 0.03425 363 228 103 32
223 While they’re figuring out that we’ve given them an Allen wrench and Phillips head screws, we free the others and make off with the cheese. 1.4600 0.03697 350 229 81 40
224 Wait, you can’t read either? 1.4592 0.03221 429 274 113 42
225 Let's just wing it, like they do upstairs in the White House. 1.4583 0.03447 408 269 91 48
226 It's not the destination-- it's the journey. 1.4583 0.03376 408 265 99 44
227 To heck with mazes. Let's build a cheese bar. 1.4581 0.03260 406 257 112 37
228 Is this floorplay? I only wanted one nightstand. 1.4565 0.03623 379 253 79 47
229 Just act like it's challenging and they'll keep feeding us. 1.4564 0.03326 401 257 105 39
230 It's the ultimate question: can we build a maze we can't solve? 1.4559 0.03462 397 261 91 45
231 There's Camembert if you get through this level. 1.4555 0.03328 371 232 109 30
232 No pressure, but the entire LSD-microdosing scientific community is depending on us to do this. 1.4551 0.03790 312 201 80 31
233 Lets just add a back door and call it quits. 1.4550 0.03458 389 254 93 42
234 Let's just pay for the assembly service. It's only 15 chow pellets extra. 1.4548 0.03333 387 246 106 35
235 Let’s add a panic room” 1.4545 0.03200 396 247 118 31
236 Any idea what “death or disfigurement” means? 1.4536 0.03319 399 256 105 38
237 Any one of your 700 brothers would love to be spending this time with their Dad. 1.4532 0.03423 406 268 92 46
238 The instructions are in CAT. 1.4532 0.03381 395 256 99 40
239 I say it's finished, and I say the hell with it. 1.4529 0.03355 393 253 102 38
240 How the hell are we supposed to figure this out? We're Norwegian rats, not Swedish. 1.4521 0.03401 376 241 100 35
241 Don't look at me, I don't speak Swedish either. 1.4521 0.03409 365 232 101 32
242 I think they're trying to test if we've developed the ability to swear. 1.4519 0.03338 405 263 101 41
243 We can make a killing selling maps to the rats. 1.4517 0.02740 383 260 90 33
244 The grant money ran out so we’re on our own. 1.4516 0.03342 372 235 106 31
245 Evidently they cut the budget for lab assistants. 1.4509 0.03233 397 251 113 33
246 Were you bred for emotional or cognitive intelligence? 1.4509 0.03213 397 250 115 32
247 Tell me again why the Swedes are so happy. 1.4509 0.03339 397 259 98 40
248 And then I heard a voice that said "If you build it...Brie will come". 1.4509 0.03405 397 260 95 42
249 It looks like a trap. 1.4509 0.03330 397 256 103 38
250 Let's put the cheese at the beginning. 1.4509 0.03640 397 273 69 55
251 Who came up with these Mickey Mouse directions?! 1.4505 0.03309 384 244 107 33
252 I think we should just go with an open floor plan. 1.4505 0.03410 384 249 97 38
253 Aw, man. 'Cheese sold separately' 1.4505 0.03489 384 253 89 42
254 IKEA is Swedish for fuck you. 1.4504 0.03645 373 251 76 46
255 I say,forget it--let's just run around out here. 1.4504 0.03441 373 241 96 36
256 You know, we can just order the food pellets and avoid all this. 1.4497 0.03266 398 254 109 35
257 Wouldn't it be easier to just buy some cheese? 1.4485 0.03581 359 236 85 38
258 Make sure you act surprised once we're in there. 1.4483 0.03435 377 245 95 37
259 Ya know, without us the entire scientific infrastructure goes to hell. 1.4474 0.03578 371 247 82 42
260 You’ve got to think outside the box 1.4472 0.03592 369 246 81 42
261 What's eleven-sixteenths minus five-eighths? 1.4468 0.03502 376 248 88 40
262 This feels like a setup. 1.4467 0.03500 338 215 95 28
263 Is it just me, or are these Harvard interns starting to get lazy? 1.4459 0.03396 370 238 99 33
264 You think Mickey has to put up with this crap? 1.4459 0.03755 296 189 82 25
265 Remember when we just had to run through these? 1.4457 0.03401 359 229 100 30
266 I miss the old hole in the wall. 1.4448 0.03514 362 237 89 36
267 What a Mickey Mouse operation. 1.4447 0.03257 371 233 111 27
268 Remember when we used to just have to run through the maze? 1.4447 0.03514 380 253 85 42
269 Let's screw this up; the lab guy will put us on a higher dose, then we can figure out where he keeps the cheese. 1.4444 0.03550 360 237 86 37
270 So, is THIS the test or will we still be expected to run around this thing? 1.4444 0.03484 360 234 92 34
271 It's a trap, I tell you! A trap 1.4441 0.03543 367 243 85 39
272 The directions are in gerbil, rat, hamster, and guinea pig but not mouse 1.4441 0.03384 358 228 101 29
273 If you shout "I am Ah-Mazed" one more time this goes back to Ikea 1.4434 0.04363 221 142 60 19
274 Now's the time for us to think inside the box. 1.4429 0.02853 359 233 103 23
275 Let me read the instructions this time. Every time you do it, the cheese ends up on the other side. 1.4429 0.03485 350 226 93 31
276 Damn. It says 'cheese sold separately'. 1.4423 0.03541 355 233 87 35
277 I have an idea. Let’s just eat the cheese now. 1.4420 0.03366 371 239 100 32
278 No, I don’t need you to call your dad. 1.4420 0.03535 371 247 84 40
279 If we do this right, all paths will lead to the cheese. 1.4420 0.03514 371 246 86 39
280 Next time, pay the extra fifty bucks. 1.4417 0.03571 360 239 83 38
281 You're right, it's missing a screw. Let's just order Chinese. 1.4416 0.03570 351 231 85 35
282 This is the last time I sign up for a research study sponsored by Ikea. 1.4416 0.03682 351 236 75 40
283 This feels like a trap. 1.4413 0.03541 358 236 86 36
284 We can buy a better maze when the kids are a little older. 1.4413 0.03247 349 216 112 21
285 I'm guessing he couldn't get Mexico to pay for it? 1.4409 0.03946 279 182 71 26
286 Let’s just opt for the open floor plan. 1.4407 0.03278 354 234 89 31
287 Seven slats, five boards, six screws, and one... Ralph - where's the piece of cheese? 1.4403 0.04130 268 178 62 28
288 I hear the reward for completing this one is an illusory feeling of significance and self-worth. 1.4400 0.03388 350 223 100 27
289 I can’t figure this out. I must have gotten the placebo. 1.4400 0.03667 350 235 76 39
290 We weren't supposed to eat the cheese first. 1.4392 0.03401 362 234 97 31
291 Some assembly required, my ass! I say we send the friggin thing back. 1.4391 0.03621 353 236 79 38
292 Let’s just play in the box it came in 1.4387 0.03568 351 232 84 35
293 We’ll know it’s done when we can’t get out 1.4387 0.03690 326 220 71 35
294 At Ikea,you told me you knew how this would go together. 1.4379 0.03471 338 217 94 27
295 Oops! We were supposed to save the piece of cheese for the very end. 1.4379 0.03643 338 224 80 34
296 This sort of takes the mystery out of it. 1.4379 0.03471 338 217 94 27
297 It's IKEA for mice. 1.4379 0.03643 338 224 80 34
298 I like the meatballs too but this is bullshit. 1.4370 0.03643 341 227 79 35
299 Maybe this time we should think inside the box. 1.4370 0.03498 341 221 91 29
300 But the Swedish mouse said this would be so easy. 1.4370 0.03620 341 226 81 34
301 You know we can just eat the cheese right? 1.4366 0.03659 339 226 78 35
302 What's the difference if the instructions are in Chinese. We're mice, we can't read English either! 1.4364 0.03780 330 223 70 37
303 They’re doing s study on divorce rates. 1.4363 0.03366 353 226 100 27
304 I bet no one makes it past the Escher staircase. 1.4363 0.03642 353 238 76 39
305 I'm afraid there's no way out of this 1.4357 0.03563 342 225 85 32
306 It's all about the maze. You control the maze, you control the cheese. It's that simple. 1.4356 0.03451 326 207 96 23
307 If we can’t assemble this we go into the group that gets electrodes attached to their testicles. 1.4354 0.03755 333 225 71 37
308 Let's go vertical. 1.4354 0.03480 333 214 93 26
309 I saw the same floor plan on an episode of This Old Mouse. 1.4354 0.03632 333 220 81 32
310 Seems like a lot of work for a piece of cheese. 1.4347 0.03401 329 208 99 22
311 With a bit of paint it will look like a Mondrian. 1.4347 0.03664 329 218 79 32
312 I'm lost. Run through it with me one more time. 1.4347 0.03613 329 216 83 30
313 Let's add a secret tunnel. 1.4343 0.03680 327 217 78 32
314 Well, rats. 1.4335 0.03580 346 230 82 34
315 Swedish mice must have opposable thumbs. 1.4333 0.03421 330 210 97 23
316 Let’s not follow the directions and mess up their data. 1.4327 0.03586 342 232 74 36
317 What do you mean cheese not included? 1.4327 0.03153 342 235 76 31
318 While they argue about who lost a piece, you grab the cheese. 1.4325 0.04026 289 196 61 32
319 An open concept would certainly give us more options for the piano. 1.4316 0.03559 329 215 86 28
320 You've lost me. 1.4314 0.03690 299 194 81 24
321 Let’s put it together backwards and then watch the research analysts go crazy! 1.4314 0.03832 306 205 70 31
322 Last time I completed this I got a jolt of electricity and a female companion! 1.4309 0.03704 311 205 78 28
323 Let's just skip to step 27: place cheese in back left corner 1.4296 0.03756 277 178 79 20
324 Yes, I'm sure. Step 1 definitely said eat the cheese. 1.4294 0.03629 333 222 79 32
325 It takes four hours to build and when completed you can run the damn thing in less than a minute. Instead I suggest we spread droppings over the lumber and eat the instructions. 1.4294 0.03751 333 227 69 37
326 Here it is: “Cheese sold separately.” 1.4294 0.03727 333 226 71 36
327 Should we think outside the box? 1.4294 0.03604 333 221 81 31
328 We’ve graduated from the Psychology Department to the Architecture Department. 1.4294 0.03654 333 223 77 33
329 ...I think we should just call TaskRabbit. 1.4294 0.03579 333 220 83 30
330 I thought it came with cheese. 1.4286 0.03744 322 217 72 33
331 It says it’s a MÅLMÄRKELSTØRP maze. 1.4286 0.03692 322 215 76 31
332 Lets do it with a Lego set and really blow their minds! 1.4281 0.03786 320 217 69 34
333 Build it and they will observe. 1.4281 0.03573 320 209 85 26
334 It's not psychology. I just want to hear them say, "How the hell did they figure it out so fast?" 1.4281 0.03823 299 202 67 30
335 But it's SUPPOSED to be confusing! 1.4273 0.03390 330 211 97 22
336 This is the cheapest lab I ever worked at. 1.4266 0.03852 286 192 67 27
337 I just think you've spent an awful lot for something you're only going to use once. 1.4263 0.03662 319 212 78 29
338 Who's Allen again? 1.4259 0.03801 324 222 66 36
339 Don't fuss over getting it perfect--I am pretty sure we are the control group. 1.4259 0.03673 324 217 76 31
340 There's just one tool we need: opposable thumbs. 1.4258 0.03681 310 205 78 27
341 These instructions have been tested on humans. 1.4258 0.03874 310 212 64 34
342 Mexico will pay for it. 1.4255 0.03919 322 225 57 40
343 I'm not paying 89 dollars for someone else to assemble it. 1.4253 0.03893 308 211 63 34
344 To heck with this. Let's just get free cheese samples from Costco. 1.4251 0.03857 287 191 70 26
345 Although these advanced I.Q. tests purport to conform to objective outcome-metrics, since we ate the cheese first I think we're done. 1.4250 0.04271 240 161 56 23
346 This should be easy. They've been experimenting on humans for years. 1.4246 0.03908 285 191 67 27
347 Let's build it so they can't remember the path. 1.4241 0.03702 290 189 79 22
348 It's where we go to lose ourselves. 1.4238 0.03690 302 199 78 25
349 I’m just saying that “Metaphör” is kind of an odd product name. 1.4237 0.04083 262 176 61 25
350 Damn. It says 'Cheese not included.'" 1.4235 0.03846 307 209 66 32
351 One day shipping really gave us no time to learn to read. 1.4235 0.03647 307 202 80 25
352 Isn’t there an app for this? 1.4235 0.03734 307 205 74 28
353 I'm not sure these are the best-laid plans. 1.4235 0.03676 307 203 78 26
354 The Mäz — many can run, few can assemble. 1.4235 0.03734 307 205 74 28
355 Rats 1.4232 0.03605 319 211 81 27
356 Now you know why I suggested that we pay Ikea the $89 assembly fee. 1.4228 0.03693 298 196 78 24
357 Maze, schmaze, let's make a straight path to the cheese. 1.4224 0.03739 303 202 74 27
358 There is always one left over. 1.4223 0.03160 296 201 74 21
359 I preferred the days when we just had to walk through the maze 1.4223 0.02815 296 207 68 21
360 Let's not overthink it. 1.4223 0.03710 296 195 77 24
361 It just seems unethical for us to build a better mouse trap. 1.4223 0.02669 296 216 55 25
362 It occurs to me that this is the blueprint to our own undoing. 1.4223 0.03772 296 197 73 26
363 This is when I really miss Algernon. 1.4223 0.03832 296 199 69 28
364 Let's build a Cheesecake Factory instead. 1.4222 0.04096 270 184 58 28
365 We don't actually have to move the cheese. It's a parable. 1.4221 0.03929 289 196 64 29
366 I'm already lost. 1.4221 0.03489 308 198 90 20
367 I know there always has to be a part missing but why did it have to be the cheese? 1.4218 0.03665 294 192 80 22
368 'Travel to Sweden for a research project,' you said...' It will be fun,' you said... 1.4218 0.03665 294 192 80 22
369 It's from Ikea. After this, the maze will be easy. 1.4217 0.03568 313 205 84 24
370 They left a screw out. How stupid do they think we are? 1.4217 0.03681 313 209 76 28
371 Cubicles or open office, it's still a rat race. 1.4217 0.03791 313 213 68 32
372 Just promise me the next time you have a project due, you won't wait until the last minute. 1.4217 0.03653 313 208 78 27
373 And we will have cheese in EVERY room! 1.4217 0.03818 313 214 66 33
374 Plans for mice by men. 1.4217 0.03667 313 211 73 29
375 It’s as if these instructions were written by an entirely different species. 1.4217 0.03315 313 214 73 26
376 I can’t read either. 1.4217 0.03639 313 220 59 34
377 Yes—the research project is funded by IKEA. How’d you know? 1.4217 0.03764 313 212 70 31
378 I know this is easy, but I think we should play dumb. They might give us drugs. 1.4217 0.03791 313 213 68 32
379 We should probably leave a piece of cheese here, so we can find our way back out' 1.4216 0.03727 287 188 77 22
380 My previous unpaid internship was even worse. 1.4214 0.03862 299 203 66 30
381 Phase I of the study tests whether humans can follow IKEA assembly instructions. 1.4212 0.03202 311 219 64 28
382 What's the point? We ate the cheese. 1.4212 0.03753 311 210 71 30
383 We are the architects of our misfortune. 1.4211 0.04101 247 164 62 21
384 remember we had relatives at the building of Stonehenge, we can do this! 1.4203 0.03870 295 200 66 29
385 Something tells me we should stop right here. 1.4202 0.04063 257 172 62 23
386 First we see the cheese, THEN we work... 1.4201 0.03844 288 193 69 26
387 You have the permits right? 1.4199 0.03814 281 186 72 23
388 It's from some guy named Trump. It's all about building walls. 1.4196 0.03988 286 196 60 30
389 You're right. Thinking outside the box is much more satisfying. 1.4195 0.03752 298 199 73 26
390 After we finish this, let's build one for the cat. 1.4195 0.03811 298 201 69 28
391 Maybe we don’t follow the directions and make a straight line to the cheese? 1.4191 0.04005 272 184 62 26
392 We're part of a study on how long it takes before couples break-up while attempting to assemble IKEA furniture together. 1.4190 0.03685 284 195 63 26
393 I don't think this is a book shelf. 1.4189 0.03799 296 199 70 27
394 Seriously, we're mice; why would we want to put a maze together? 1.4189 0.03859 296 201 66 29
395 Hear me out - these missing pieces might actually be a GOOD thing... 1.4189 0.03799 296 199 70 27
396 Yes, I'm certain this is how Mickey got started. 1.4189 0.03582 296 192 84 20
397 I guess I appreciate being brought in earlier in the process. 1.4184 0.03598 294 191 83 20
398 Memorize the map Phyllis. If we get the cheese in under 3 seconds they'll put us in the gifted and talented program 1.4181 0.03884 287 194 66 27
399 I say we eat the cheese now and forget the rest. 1.4181 0.03789 287 191 72 24
400 I've done the maze thing before. Why don't we go for a hardwood floor instead? 1.4181 0.03821 287 192 70 25
401 According to IKEA, all you need is an Allen wrench and opposable thumbs. 1.4175 0.04119 285 200 51 34
402 What would Mickey do? 1.4175 0.03966 285 195 61 29
403 That stupid cat will never figure this out. 1.4175 0.03966 285 195 61 29
404 I'm not kidding... its actual IKEA name is RATZNMÄZ. 1.4170 0.03954 283 193 62 28
405 Yeah, well I’m lactose intolerant, so frankly, this is already a no-win situation. 1.4170 0.03923 283 192 64 27
406 It doesn't have an exit, Charlotte, because we are recreating the experience of speaking with Spectrum's customer service. 1.4167 0.04075 300 213 49 38
407 How about I cook dinner and you put this together! 1.4164 0.03744 281 187 72 22
408 I fear that if we choose open concept, we’ll lose that traditional maze feel.” 1.4161 0.03838 298 203 66 29
409 Let's mess with them a build a pyramid! 1.4161 0.03897 298 205 62 31
410 Maze? I'm thinking a nice two-bedroom flat 1.4161 0.03688 298 203 68 27
411 They note that any 12 year old mouse can do this but, mice don't live that long. 1.4161 0.03143 298 214 57 27
412 I'm thinking an 'open concept' maze 1.4161 0.03658 298 197 78 23
413 Just why are WE building a better mousetrap? 1.4155 0.04003 296 207 55 34
414 At least they're not asking us to build a better mousetrap. 1.4155 0.03643 296 195 79 22
415 Great. You’re from the control group, aren’t you? 1.4149 0.03700 282 185 77 20
416 I vote we stick to an open concept. 1.4149 0.03866 282 190 67 25
417 What the heck does, 'When screwing shelves to align careful be to avoid misfortune of collapse,' mean? 1.4139 0.03782 273 180 73 20
418 Remind me. What's my motivation. 1.4134 0.03855 283 191 67 25
419 I'd rather do cancer research. 1.4134 0.03823 283 190 69 24
420 Minnie at IKEA said it would be simple 1.4134 0.03790 283 189 71 23
421 No, it says right here. Cheese sold separately. 1.4134 0.03855 283 191 67 25
422 Well, I don’t think we’re the control group. 1.4134 0.03855 283 191 67 25
423 Our bad luck, getting a Swedish laboratory. 1.4128 0.03907 281 191 64 26
424 Once we build it, we can rent it out to Psychologists 1.4124 0.03978 274 187 61 26
425 Okay, I’ll evolve a prefrontal cortex if you evolve manual dexterity. 1.4124 0.03842 274 188 61 25
426 This used to be zoned as ‘single family’, but now we can squeeze in 10 units at $750,000.00 a pop! 1.4122 0.03992 279 192 59 28
427 Or we could just build a Wall across the entrance to keep all the country mice out. 1.4118 0.03797 289 195 69 25
428 If anyone asks, Mexico is paying for it. 1.4118 0.03982 272 188 57 27
429 We just build a back door and we'll own this thing. 1.4111 0.04088 270 187 55 28
430 Why don't we try thinking inside the box? 1.4111 0.03880 270 181 67 22
431 Now that you mention it, this does seem counterintuitive.” 1.4108 0.04165 241 163 57 21
432 Yeah, but we’re going to make THEM pay for it. 1.4105 0.04114 285 202 49 34
433 'You work it out. I was happy with a hole in the baseboard.' 1.4105 0.03769 285 191 71 23
434 I think we enrolled in the wrong research test. 1.4105 0.03652 285 195 66 24
435 Look! In the fine print, "CHEESE SOLD SEPARATELY" 1.4105 0.03818 285 200 56 29
436 Only you would by a maze at IKEA 1.4104 0.03464 268 191 53 24
437 I feel like this is a set up. 1.4089 0.03889 269 181 66 22
438 Maybe there's a YouTube video we can watch." 1.4089 0.04029 269 185 58 26
439 I was thinking more open concept 1.4082 0.03909 267 180 65 22
440 Look, we’re men, we don’t need these instructions. 1.4082 0.04085 267 185 55 27
441 I don't think we were supposed to eat the cheese yet. 1.4074 0.03733 270 178 74 18
442 Not for nothing, but designing our own maze defeats the whole point of having a maze. 1.4074 0.03543 270 178 76 16
443 Did you know “bokhylla” just means “bookshelf”? It’s like they don’t even try. 1.4073 0.04030 275 191 56 28
444 The sooner we get this done the sooner we can get out of here. 1.4068 0.03761 263 173 73 17
445 Until someone tells me what the reward is, I'm not doing anything. 1.4067 0.03825 268 179 69 20
446 What’s the point? It says cheese not included. 1.4067 0.04038 268 185 57 26
447 I suppose we'll have to make our own cheese, too 1.4067 0.03968 268 183 61 24
448 ...and I say we build a worse mouetrap! 1.4066 0.03950 273 187 61 25
449 You gotta be kidding me, it says the cheese is sold separately! 1.4060 0.04024 266 183 58 25
450 Didn't I tell you if it looks like it's already been open, the cheese will be missing? 1.4054 0.04866 185 128 39 18
451 We're never getting out of this, are we? 1.4051 0.03800 274 184 69 21
452 You're the one with the engineering degree. 1.4051 0.03972 274 189 59 26
453 After I retired, I found that I missed it. 1.4051 0.03835 274 185 67 22
454 What say we insert peg A into slot D instead, and make a straight run for the cheese. 1.4051 0.03870 274 186 65 23
455 Uncle Bill made one of these last year. Where is Uncle Bill? 1.4051 0.03835 274 185 67 22
456 Tell me again why we didn't just buy the cheese. 1.4051 0.03939 274 188 61 25
457 If we'd gone to Crate and Barrel like I suggested, we'd already have the cheese by now! 1.4051 0.03800 274 184 69 21
458 Remember the good old days when we just chewed through walls. 1.4051 0.03939 274 188 61 25
459 If we build it, they will feed us. 1.4051 0.03904 274 187 63 24
460 Well, I heard this has nothing to do with measuring our cognition, but actually budget cuts in the lab. 1.4051 0.03835 274 185 67 22
461 What's next, self-dissection? 1.4044 0.03924 272 186 62 24
462 Once we build it, the cheese will come. 1.4044 0.03959 272 187 60 25
463 How the hell are we going to do this without thumbs? 1.4044 0.03243 272 188 66 18
464 Or we could just buy some cheese. 1.4044 0.03854 272 189 58 25
465 These directions are in cat. 1.4044 0.03819 272 183 68 21
466 I think this requires thumbs. 1.4044 0.03783 272 182 70 20
467 Let's just chew the rectangles up and make a nest. 1.4044 0.03890 272 185 64 23
468 Why make things difficult? Now I'm thinking open floor plan. 1.4044 0.03711 272 180 74 18
469 Let's think outside the box. 1.4044 0.03854 272 184 66 22
470 University funding is really down this year. 1.4044 0.02865 272 187 71 14
471 Cheese not included. 1.4037 0.03927 270 187 58 25
472 What are you looking at me for? You’re the one who got the Adderall injection. 1.4037 0.03838 270 184 64 22
473 Would you believe the one missing part is the cheese. 1.4037 0.04048 270 188 55 27
474 If he comes back, pretend you’re blind. 1.4037 0.03711 270 181 70 19
475 The instrucciones clearly state there should be ocho screws and we only have siete. 1.4037 0.03909 270 184 63 23
476 Let's put the cheese by the door. 1.4037 0.03766 270 180 71 19
477 My Swedish is rusty but I think Ikea means 'trap' 1.4037 0.03802 270 181 69 20
478 I haven’t the slightest IKEA. 1.4037 0.03766 270 180 71 19
479 Is it me or are these mazes getting more and more complicated? 1.4037 0.03944 270 185 61 24
480 I'm not sure which part is the experiment. 1.4037 0.03766 270 180 71 19
481 Look. If he wants us to build it ourselves, lets fill it with secret shortcuts and entryways. 1.4032 0.03858 253 168 68 17
482 Apparently, we're in the research department at IKEA. 1.4032 0.04056 253 173 58 22
483 Do you still think the NIH is adequately funded? 1.4032 0.03858 253 168 68 17
484 Face it, we're lost 1.4031 0.04000 258 176 60 22
485 I prefer the FJÄLLA maze. Comes with a meatball. 1.4025 0.04134 236 160 57 19
486 When you train them right, they put food at the end of the maze. 1.4008 0.04163 237 162 55 20
487 We definitely have an ethical problem here! 1.4008 0.03893 257 173 65 19
488 If we were in a lab, this part would have been done for us. 1.4000 0.03992 255 174 60 21
489 We'll make a few wrong turns on purpose just so they don't get suspicious. 1.4000 0.03874 255 171 66 18
490 A maze can't start and end at the same place. How dumb do they think we are? 1.4000 0.03886 250 167 66 17
491 I’ve replaced their regular coffee with decaf. Let’s see how long it takes them to get this back together. 1.4000 0.04315 235 164 48 23
492 Okay I'll come clean. I ate the cheese. 1.4000 0.04008 250 170 60 20
493 A maze? What do you think we are, lab mice? 1.4000 0.04008 250 170 60 20
494 These IKEA mazes, again I have 2 extra screws and I have no idea where they belong 1.3992 0.03771 253 167 71 15
495 It says here we have to provide our own cheese or peanut butter. 1.3992 0.03750 253 174 60 19
496 It's learning to read the instructions that's the tricky part. 1.3992 0.03994 253 175 56 22
497 I already ate the cheese. 1.3992 0.03894 253 170 65 18
498 Wouldn't you know it, the cheese is missing. 1.3992 0.02791 253 174 68 11
499 No matter how many times I try I always have one piece left over. 1.3992 0.04091 253 175 55 23
500 Of all the places to buy mazes, you had to choose IKEA. 1.3992 0.03854 253 174 59 20
501 OK, we want to end up with the cheese by the front door 1.3992 0.03894 253 170 65 18
502 You believe this? Cheese not included. 1.3992 0.03974 253 172 61 20
503 Look on the bright side-they could have asked us to build a better mousetrap! 1.3992 0.03954 253 174 58 21
504 All this for a piece of cheese? 1.3992 0.03934 253 171 63 19
505 Let’s just scrap the whole project. I’m tired of the rat race. 1.3992 0.04150 248 172 53 23
506 A maze? No, these are awful, tiny work spaces, I call them "cubicles." 1.3992 0.04189 248 173 51 24
507 At least it's a prison of our own making. 1.3992 0.04030 248 169 59 20
508 Jerry, this is the last time we are going to Ikea. 1.3992 0.03948 248 167 63 18
509 They forgot to include the opposable thumbs. 1.3992 0.03736 248 162 73 13
510 Let's think outside the box and add a cheese and wine bar. 1.3992 0.04189 248 173 51 24
511 Screw it. Let's just eat the plans. 1.3992 0.04228 248 174 49 25
512 What are your thoughts on open floor plans? 1.3991 0.03986 233 155 63 15
513 I told you the cheese wasn't included... 1.3984 0.03995 251 171 60 20
514 This says the cheese is not included 1.3984 0.03915 251 169 64 18
515 Cheese not included?! Did you even read the box? 1.3984 0.04035 251 172 58 21
516 Why assemble it? Works great right now! 1.3983 0.04090 241 167 53 21
517 How difficult could it be?" , you said 1.3977 0.03908 259 176 63 20
518 Budget cuts in research, I guess. 1.3977 0.03650 259 177 64 18
519 I CAN read. It doesn't help! 1.3977 0.04021 259 179 57 23
520 It's an exercise in existentialism, Ted. We build our own prisons. 1.3977 0.04203 259 184 47 28
521 This calls for some outside-the-box thinking. 1.3977 0.03908 259 176 63 20
522 Fortunately, if we get it wrong, we can just gnaw through the side. 1.3971 0.04397 209 143 49 17
523 I think we'll be happiest with an open floor plan. 1.3969 0.04080 257 179 54 24
524 We'll call it Rat-a-Lago. It's gonna be great. 1.3968 0.04138 252 176 52 24
525 Call 1-800-LAB-RATS. I don’t have time for this. 1.3968 0.04100 252 175 54 23
526 Used to be, we just had to find the cheese. 1.3968 0.04120 247 176 46 25
527 I don’t want to build a better mouse trap either Larry, but it’s part of our community service.” 1.3968 0.04079 247 170 56 21
528 ‘"I know it was free, but I can’t help feeling it’s some sort of a trap." 1.3968 0.04079 247 170 56 21
529 It's in Chinese, and 2 screws are missing. 1.3961 0.04102 255 178 53 24
530 What if building it IS the experiment? 1.3961 0.03830 255 171 67 17
531 Wait, is this a trap? 1.3961 0.03910 255 173 63 19
532 Do you remember how we screwed up the chest of drawers? 1.3959 0.03850 245 163 67 15
533 Wait, what if we went with more like an open floor plan, with the cheese in the middle? 1.3953 0.04009 253 174 58 21
534 I can't shake the feeling that we are being watched. 1.3953 0.04009 253 174 58 21
535 Your mother wants us to explore all inside paths for getting you into a good college lab. 1.3953 0.03970 253 173 60 20
536 No, do you have any opposable thumbs? 1.3953 0.03930 253 172 62 19
537 Step 1 was not eat the cheese 1.3953 0.03808 253 169 68 16
538 Some assembly required. Cheese not included. 1.3953 0.03970 253 173 60 20
539 Since we can't read, this is perfect. 1.3953 0.04048 253 175 56 22
540 It's like these things are designed to be confusing. 1.3953 0.04125 253 177 52 24
541 The instructions are in Swedish. Tell them again we’re Norwegian rats! 1.3953 0.04125 253 177 52 24
542 It says'Cheese sold separately.' Are you kidding me? 1.3953 0.04125 253 177 52 24
543 Whaddya mean, screw the partitions? 1.3953 0.03970 253 173 60 20
544 I was hoping for a more open concept maze. 1.3953 0.03970 253 173 60 20
545 Lately I've been wondering if the cheese is even worth it. 1.3953 0.03849 253 170 66 17
546 I’m not comfortable with this. It feels like cheating. 1.3953 0.03930 253 172 62 19
547 What do you mean, "cheese sold separately"? 1.3953 0.03890 253 171 64 18
548 It is an IKEA store. After we build it we have to find our way out. 1.3953 0.04163 253 178 50 25
549 Again I ask you, why are WE building this? 1.3952 0.03944 248 168 62 18
550 I've got an idea. Let's forget the walls and use an open floor plan! 1.3951 0.04401 205 140 49 16
551 ...and I thought getting through a maze was difficult. 1.3951 0.04084 243 167 56 20
552 Cinderella has been really depending on us for everything lately. 1.3951 0.04166 243 169 52 22
553 The white mice have it preassembled. 1.3944 0.03991 251 172 59 20
554 'Cheese not included.' *sigh* Rats. 1.3941 0.03946 236 158 63 15
555 Let's just make bunk beds and call it a night. 1.3939 0.04096 231 157 57 17
556 I'm actually lactose intolerant. I just like carpentry. 1.3939 0.04187 231 159 53 19
557 It says BYOM! What does that mean? 1.3938 0.04930 193 139 32 22
558 Its like those gangster movies, where the hitman makes the dirty rat dig his own grave. 1.3932 0.03475 234 162 58 14
559 I’m telling you, this is our last purchase from IKEA. 1.3920 0.03877 250 169 64 17
560 The sooner we get this thing built the sooner we can get try to escape! 1.3918 0.04015 245 168 58 19
561 I always suspected we were the architects of our own despair ... 1.3913 0.04059 230 156 58 16
562 No, let's not call TaskRabbit. They sometimes send cats. 1.3904 0.04106 228 158 52 18
563 I'm building us a real home out of this Ikea drawer organizer. No more hole in the wall. 1.3904 0.04313 228 160 47 21
564 You ever feel like we're being watched? 1.3904 0.04082 228 155 57 16
565 If the humans can’t assemble it why should we help 1.3904 0.04222 228 158 51 19
566 Doesn't the psychologist know we're Rattus norvegicus not Rattus swedegicus? 1.3896 0.04315 231 163 46 22
567 Well, I think “No Exit” was the best thing he wrote. 1.3896 0.04091 231 158 56 17
568 Let's have some fun. Instead of a maze, I say we build a man cave. 1.3896 0.04091 231 163 48 20
569 We're missing a part. 1.3896 0.03951 231 155 62 14
570 What happens in the labyrinth stays in the labyrinth. 1.3886 0.04207 229 159 51 19
571 It says "no collusion and no obstruction. 1.3886 0.04297 229 161 47 21
572 Forget it. Let's just eat the cheese. 1.3886 0.04252 229 160 49 20
573 Trust me, kid. There are worse place to work than the IKEA lab. 1.3886 0.04207 229 159 51 19
574 I'm thinking that this entire exercise is part of a cynical conspiracy to have us construct obstacles to our own happiness. 1.3886 0.04207 229 159 51 19
575 They're testing our marriage now 1.3886 0.04092 229 159 52 18
576 They're testing our relationship. 1.3884 0.03299 242 171 56 15
577 First, they made us press levers for food. Now, we have to build our own mazes! 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
578 I know it’s IKEA. I wasn’t planning to leave it to my children. 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
579 I’m gonna need some cheese to get me through this. 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
580 It’s in Swedish. 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
581 It’s my own fault for criticizing the old maze. 1.3884 0.03961 242 165 60 17
582 I bet Schrödinger's cat never had to deal with this type of treatment” 1.3879 0.04123 232 160 54 18
583 Trust me, the tiny house movement is gonna be huge! 1.3877 0.04092 227 155 56 16
584 You had to go Mid-Century Modern 1.3877 0.04044 227 154 58 15
585 Where do you want the nursery? 1.3877 0.03896 227 156 56 15
586 It was your idea to go to Ikea. 1.3877 0.03946 227 152 62 13
587 So based on these blueprints, we should be able to build our maze in a week...just in time for Timmy's science fair. 1.3877 0.03995 227 153 60 14
588 Relax, I've watched the humans. How's your vulgar slang? 1.3877 0.03501 227 156 59 12
589 Self-assembly mouse trap? Way to go, Mike. 1.3877 0.03946 227 157 54 16
590 I think this is a test. 1.3877 0.04323 227 160 46 21
591 You know they only use us to prove a human should be able to assemble it. 1.3877 0.04092 227 155 56 16
592 We've solved it on paper. Let's quit while we're ahead. 1.3877 0.04278 227 159 48 20
593 At least - when the time comes - we'll know our way around! 1.3877 0.04044 227 154 58 15
594 The cat in the YouTube video said to leave the roof off. 1.3875 0.04237 240 170 47 23
595 Trump said to build WHAT? 1.3875 0.04278 240 171 45 24
596 The research grant ran out. 1.3875 0.03894 240 162 63 15
597 You sure these are kitchen cabinets? 1.3875 0.03938 240 163 61 16
598 I don't know -- might be a trap. 1.3875 0.04154 240 168 51 21
599 Do you ever get the feeling you are working for the opposition? 1.3875 0.04026 240 165 57 18
600 You were right. We should have bought the bookshelves. 1.3875 0.03982 240 169 51 20
601 Forget the maze, lets do cubicles 1.3873 0.04239 204 138 53 13
602 According to Ikea, it will only take half our lifetimes to assemble. 1.3870 0.04370 230 164 43 23
603 Hear me out. What if we just call this done. 1.3870 0.04147 230 159 53 18
604 Don't you see Sal? If we build, they'll make us run through it. If we don't build it, they'll force us to ingest mezcal and mushrooms. It's a no-brainer. 1.3870 0.04326 230 163 45 22
605 You've got to be kidding me. Cheese sold separately? 1.3870 0.04326 230 163 45 22
606 This is nothing, you should see the Swedish Fish Tank. 1.3868 0.04392 212 148 46 18
607 Wait, where's the cheese? 1.3867 0.04163 225 155 53 17
608 Getting to the cheese would be much easier if we kept it as an open concept. 1.3866 0.03915 238 161 62 15
609 Feng Shui? I’m still trying to learn Swedish! 1.3866 0.04178 238 167 50 21
610 And at the end we get Swedish meatballs 1.3863 0.04241 233 164 48 21
611 Don't build the maze, and run straight for the cheese? Don't you see...that's exactly what they want us to do. 1.3863 0.03924 233 157 62 14
612 Son, if you want to become a Harvard lab rat, you must learn the basic maze. 1.3860 0.03981 228 154 60 14
613 Why should we be the ones to build a better mousetrap? 1.3860 0.04171 228 158 52 18
614 No! It's not a good idea to subcontract this to a cat. 1.3857 0.04164 223 156 49 18
615 So we’re agreed: hidden panel to the cheese room. 1.3856 0.04115 236 164 53 19
616 I feel like building it ourselves kind of defeats the purpose. 1.3856 0.04115 236 164 53 19
617 Couldn’t we have just paid the extra $20 to get it pre-assembled? 1.3856 0.04071 236 163 55 18
618 Even if it wasn't in Swedish, I STILL wouldn't be able to build this! 1.3856 0.04026 236 162 57 17
619 Are you sure this is how we trick the humans into feeding us all the time? 1.3856 0.04026 236 162 57 17
620 So this is what decreased funding for science looks like... 1.3856 0.04244 236 167 47 22
621 Let's say partition instead of wall. 1.3856 0.04137 236 167 48 21
622 I was going to say 'this is amazing' but I know how much you loathe puns. 1.3856 0.03700 236 175 39 22
623 I can't figure this out. We must be in the placebo group 1.3853 0.04086 231 159 55 17
624 I would prefer a more open-concept maze. 1.3853 0.03849 231 159 57 15
625 It's called an open office and we each get something called a cubicle. 1.3853 0.04132 231 160 53 18
626 ...or we can just use the panels to put on a roof and have a great studio apartment. 1.3853 0.04040 231 158 57 16
627 Let's let the lab tech put it together. He thinks he is so smart. 1.3850 0.04242 226 158 49 19
628 Talk about cost cutting in the lab. 1.3846 0.04139 234 163 52 19
629 Every time something is missing. But the cheese? Really? 1.3846 0.04139 234 163 52 19
630 Yes, Rob, I know you lived in Rio de Janeiro while you were in the Peace Corps -- but that was years ago, let's just use the English instructions. 1.3846 0.04003 234 160 58 16
631 This is above my pay grade. 1.3839 0.04125 224 154 54 16
632 I felt like a guinea pig too when I was your age, but building your first house is the first step in joining the rat race." 1.3839 0.03951 224 153 57 14
633 Did you remember to buy the "no opposable thumbs required for assembly" model? 1.3839 0.04149 224 157 49 18
634 Apparently they hired some new researchers from Sweden. 1.3836 0.04117 232 161 53 18
635 Do you ever wonder if this is all just a big experiment? 1.3836 0.03884 232 156 63 13
636 Uh oh, I smell a rat! 1.3836 0.04251 232 164 47 21
637 Instructions!?! You don't see Cats reading instructions, do you? 1.3836 0.03584 232 165 51 16
638 Or we could just renew our gym memberships. 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
639 I’m not going any further without a reward. 1.3836 0.04026 232 159 57 16
640 No, I didn’t.... I thought YOU got the building permit! 1.3836 0.04207 232 163 49 20
641 We have a chance to change the paradigms here. 1.3836 0.04207 232 163 49 20
642 boards (12), screws (6), Allen wrench (1) "I think China's mad about the tariffs." "Why?" "Step One: You figure it out." 1.3836 0.04207 232 163 49 20
643 … then we time how long it takes them to start putting cheese in it. 1.3836 0.04117 232 161 53 18
644 Let's make sure it's not all left turns this time. 1.3836 0.04163 232 162 51 19
645 I warned you: Once you find the cheese, the test gets harder! 1.3836 0.03979 232 163 51 18
646 Don't you see? That's what they want you to do!! 1.3836 0.04163 232 162 51 19
647 Remind me again why we're building a better mousetrap? 1.3836 0.04295 232 165 45 22
648 I should never have asked for a promotion at work. 1.3836 0.04117 232 161 53 18
649 If we build it, they will come...with cheese 1.3836 0.03932 232 157 61 14
650 When someone builds a better mousetrap, it won't be Ikea 1.3836 0.04072 232 160 55 17
651 On second thought, let's do open concept. 1.3836 0.04163 232 162 51 19
652 Hmm...how about an open floor plan? 1.3836 0.04026 232 159 57 16
653 What do you say we call my cousin in Stockholm? 1.3836 0.04117 232 161 53 18
654 Trojan what? 1.3836 0.03687 232 162 55 15
655 Yes, I know I was only supposed to get Swedish meatballs. 1.3836 0.04117 232 161 53 18
656 Looks good to me - I think we're done here. 1.3836 0.04117 232 166 45 21
657 Every language but Mouse! 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
658 We have sixty-seven children, Arlene. Surely someone speaks Swedish. 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
659 Didn't we order a house?" (Eve Lily Lessard, Age 7 1.3836 0.04072 232 160 55 17
660 See? This is what happens when the government cuts research funding. 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
661 ...Ask for help?! Are we men or mice?? 1.3836 0.04026 232 159 57 16
662 It’s for ages two months and up. 1.3836 0.04207 232 163 49 20
663 This year’s funding cuts sure have hit the lab hard. 1.3836 0.04189 219 151 52 16
664 It doesn't matter which language these are written in; we're mice. 1.3833 0.04180 227 158 51 18
665 Something's not right this time... there's no way out. 1.3833 0.03940 227 153 61 13
666 I think the cheese will look nice in the foyer. 1.3833 0.04180 227 158 51 18
667 I hear you, but try explaining irony to the Swedish. 1.3833 0.03891 227 152 63 12
668 The guy in the white coat says we now have to differentiate our skill set from the global workforce. 1.3831 0.04217 201 136 53 12
669 Let's go with the open floor plan. 1.3829 0.04100 222 152 55 15
670 You know, an open floor plan might make our lives a little easier. 1.3829 0.04294 222 156 47 19
671 Maybe we should go back to chewing through the wall... 1.3826 0.04232 230 162 48 20
672 It's a little extra work, but it's worth it for the Swedish meatballs. 1.3826 0.04232 230 162 48 20
673 Says here, "Cheese sold separately." 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
674 Remember, they mustn't know that we are a couple of hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
675 Dude you’re in the LSD group, shut up and give caffeine the instructions. 1.3816 0.04024 228 156 57 15
676 Sure, it’s a bit more work, but when you get to the end there are Swedish meatballs. 1.3810 0.04034 231 159 56 16
677 ‘Remember the objective of this experiment is to throw that Professor off his tenure tract.’ 1.3810 0.04081 231 160 54 17
678 Because we saved THREE dollars with self-assembly! 1.3807 0.04450 197 137 45 15
679 Remember, left, left, right, left, right, right, cheese! 1.3805 0.03847 226 151 64 11
680 Well, the first thing we have to do is learn how to read. 1.3805 0.04143 226 157 52 17
681 This is the floomjin. The flamjen is the one that has the cheese. 1.3802 0.04590 192 135 41 16
682 This is kind of like asking a condemned man to build his own guillotine. 1.3795 0.04021 224 153 57 14
683 I think we can safely say we've made it to the next level of lab rats. 1.3795 0.04021 224 153 57 14
684 Let's take our time. It's not a race. 1.3795 0.04119 224 155 53 16
685 Yes, I believe we CAN build a better mouse trap! 1.3790 0.03648 219 157 47 15
686 It’s an enigma wrapped inside a riddle. 1.3769 0.04470 199 140 43 16
687 Do you think the cheese will also be from Norway? 1.3767 0.04182 215 149 51 15
688 Important life lesson: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. 1.3757 0.04574 189 133 41 15
689 It was much easier to disassemble, wasn’t it? 1.3710 0.04743 186 134 35 17
690 Don't tell me you ate the cheese already 1.3709 0.04407 213 153 41 19
691 Of course it's bad science! Welcome to the intersection of privatization and funding cuts to basic research. 1.3709 0.04356 213 152 43 18
692 Let’s put the cheese in the front this time! 1.3709 0.04254 213 150 47 16
693 Screw this. 1.3702 0.04899 181 132 31 18
694 Then, if we make it through, it leads to the Ikea exit door. 1.3697 0.04253 211 151 43 17
695 Whaddaya mean "cheese not included"? 1.3697 0.04280 211 149 46 16
696 With the money we saved we can buy a nice piece of Asiago. 1.3697 0.03922 211 145 55 11
697 It's not the electrical shocks or the seemingly random food treats that motivate me as I work on this maze kit. It's your encouragement and simple belief in me. 1.3697 0.04585 211 155 34 22
698 For cheese? That’s it? 1.3697 0.03464 211 155 42 14
699 I can build a better one. 1.3697 0.04536 211 154 36 21
700 Living in the sink cabinet at the Jameson's was a much simpler time. 1.3697 0.04173 211 147 50 14
701 I don't think it is exactly ethical for us to be building a better mousetrap. 1.3690 0.06938 84 60 17 7
702 I'm starting to see the advantages to your 'open space' idea. 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
703 It can't be that tough. We've trained humans to do it. 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
704 I’m telling you, if we build it, the cheese will come. 1.3684 0.04307 209 148 45 16
705 There's no exit! It's not a maze, it's a mousetrap! 1.3684 0.04464 209 151 39 19
706 Lets screw them up and build it outside the box! 1.3684 0.04515 209 152 37 20
707 I hear the hamster needed outside help to put his wheel together. 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
708 Impossible! These instructions are just a maze. 1.3684 0.04412 209 150 41 18
709 We'll earn more cheese in construction than in research. 1.3684 0.04307 209 148 45 16
710 You had it upside down all along, Stuart! The cheese goes at the end. 1.3684 0.04253 209 147 47 15
711 I'd like to put the cheese at the entrance! 1.3684 0.04360 209 149 43 17
712 My cousin built one of these and we ever saw him again. 1.3684 0.04088 209 144 53 12
713 This psychologist is nuts. 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
714 My postdoc interned at IKEA 1.3684 0.04116 209 147 48 14
715 A permit?! How much does a ferkockte permit cost? 1.3684 0.04088 209 144 53 12
716 Rats! It says the cheese is sold separately. 1.3684 0.04412 209 150 41 18
717 Are we going to build a straight path to the end or are we going to make it fun? 1.3684 0.04031 209 143 55 11
718 If those humans think two mice are going to lift a bunch of plywood, they're dumber than I thought. 1.3684 0.04143 209 145 51 13
719 I say forget the maze, let’s go straight for the cheese! 1.3684 0.04360 209 149 43 17
720 Let’s ask Mexico to pay for it. 1.3684 0.04253 209 147 47 15
721 These instructions are so simple they must have been written for humans. 1.3684 0.04171 209 148 46 15
722 Well what do you know, all the parts are here. 1.3684 0.03512 209 152 44 13
723 I said I could do it I’m not calling my dad 1.3684 0.04253 209 147 47 15
724 If our relationship can survive putting together this thing, it can survive anything. 1.3684 0.04253 209 147 47 15
725 I thought we agreed on the open floor plan. 1.3684 0.04143 209 145 51 13
726 Let’s build a food cart and blow their minds. 1.3684 0.04199 209 146 49 14
727 I just don't think we got the one with solar panels 1.3684 0.04307 209 148 45 16
728 Ugh, instructions say Not Animal Tested 1.3684 0.04143 209 145 51 13
729 If we can put this thing together, we sure as hell can find our way out of it !! 1.3684 0.04412 209 150 41 18
730 Let's build it so that it looks challenging - he'll like that! 1.3684 0.04253 209 147 47 15
731 Lucky the guys aren't here--let's read the directions. 1.3684 0.04515 209 152 37 20
732 Hard to tell which is the real test. 1.3671 0.04493 207 150 38 19
733 They’re testing a theory on the complexity of assembling IKEA furniture. 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
734 What’s the Allen wrench for? 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
735 The bait? A beer and a pizza should do it. 1.3671 0.04441 207 149 40 18
736 Why? 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
737 Trust me, we build this thing right it'll be a cheese machine. 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
738 But now we’ll know the solution. 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
739 should i get someone from taskrabbit? 1.3671 0.04112 207 143 52 12
740 This is the absolute last time we buy our maze from IKEA 1.3671 0.04414 207 151 37 19
741 Remind me; Why are we building this? 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
742 Remind me why we're doing this again? 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
743 You complain every time we go to Ikea. 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
744 How bad do you want the cheese? 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
745 I'm sorry you have to do all the work Allen, But this thing didn't come with a "Dennis wrench". 1.3671 0.04441 207 149 40 18
746 We have got to think out of the box. 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
747 What the #$@* is a dowel? 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
748 Look, I'm never going to finish this without a little positive reinforcement. 1.3671 0.04224 207 145 48 14
749 In my defense, it came with a Swedish meatball voucher. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
750 If we do the work ourselves, we can flip this maze for a lot more cheese. 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
751 Actually, I think an open flow concept would give it a more contemporary look. 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
752 And I thought getting THROUGH a maze was hard. 1.3671 0.04112 207 143 52 12
753 I think it makes sense to start by opening the little packet of cheese. 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
754 Tell me again why we are building a better mousetrap. 1.3671 0.04361 207 150 39 18
755 This is exactly like the one they featured on ‘This Old Maze’. 1.3671 0.04224 207 145 48 14
756 That's the last time I shop at IKEA 1.3671 0.04083 207 150 41 16
757 Are you sure Frank Lloyd Wright got started this way? 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
758 This one is designed to test our patience. 1.3671 0.04441 207 149 40 18
759 That's it. We are never buying anything from IKEA again. 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
760 Let's just stick with the open concept. 1.3659 0.03710 205 145 49 11
761 Do we really want to build more walls between us? 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
762 For $50 Ikea will assemble it," I said. But Noooooooo 1.3659 0.04576 205 150 35 20
763 If we design and build our own maze just think how we can mess with the researcher's heads. 1.3659 0.03612 205 151 40 14
764 Their cheese is better than their instructions. 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
765 Skinner never used Ikea. 1.3659 0.04078 205 141 53 11
766 After we build the labyrinth, I'll put on a pair of horns and really freak them out! 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
767 Who better than us to build a better mousetrap? 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
768 I'm sure it'll come together--these are the best-laid plans I've ever seen. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
769 Looks like the researchers got that IKEA grant. 1.3659 0.04019 205 150 39 16
770 We’d get a lot more work done with an open floor plan. 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
771 I really like the open floor vibe it has right now. 1.3659 0.04137 205 142 51 12
772 They let the research assistants go because of funding cuts. Finding the cure is up to us now. 1.3659 0.04137 205 142 51 12
773 Ever get the eerie feeling that you're a metaphor? 1.3659 0.04470 205 148 39 18
774 If his grant doesn’t get funded soon, we’ll be hiding the cheese too. 1.3659 0.04194 205 143 49 13
775 Ikea never told us that we'd need an opposable thumb 1.3659 0.04470 205 148 39 18
776 The instructions are in Mandarin. 1.3659 0.03408 205 153 38 14
777 With a beer in the middle, we’ll get a human every time. 1.3659 0.04362 205 146 43 16
778 I've been saying since the Middle Ages, literacy is overrated in species without opposable thumbs. 1.3659 0.04470 205 148 39 18
779 Well, I think buying the prefab model would have gotten a higher intelligence score 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
780 I can't wait to see the look on their faces tomorrow morning 1.3646 0.04258 192 133 48 11
781 Next, they’ll expect us to make our own cheese. 1.3645 0.04500 203 147 38 18
782 Nah, dude, this is the test. The maze is inconsequential. 1.3645 0.04191 203 144 45 14
783 Did you remember the bread crumbs? 1.3645 0.04103 203 140 52 11
784 Believe me. If you build it, the cheese will come. 1.3645 0.04277 203 143 46 14
785 What the...? It says here 'cheese not included'. 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
786 Marie Kondo called. She wants her drawer dividers back. 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
787 I think they just want to see if we can figure it out. 1.3645 0.04162 203 146 42 15
788 This got a 4.9 star rating. It's called the Bitoor Moȕzn Tryapp. Not sure what that means, but my sister built one and loved it so much she never came out. 1.3645 0.04390 203 145 42 16
789 First, we'll have to learn to read. 1.3645 0.04390 203 145 42 16
790 Let’s make it look challenging 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
791 Don’t worry, there’s always GPS. 1.3645 0.04103 203 140 52 11
792 Don’t look at me, I wanted to get a used one off Craigslist. 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
793 Assembly is extra but on the bright side it came with Swedish meatballs and a jar of lingonberry jam. 1.3645 0.04334 203 144 44 15
794 Screw it. Wanna grab a pizza? 1.3645 0.04277 203 143 46 14
795 I don't like the Feng Shui of these maze blueprints. 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
796 We're only rewarded if we run through a maze, not assemble one. 1.3645 0.04277 203 143 46 14
797 Look busy. This is the first test. 1.3645 0.04390 203 145 42 16
798 Phase two trials are always more rigorous 1.3645 0.04277 203 143 46 14
799 This is the Swedish version of Who Moved My Cheese? 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
800 What if we just go for open concept? 1.3645 0.04220 203 142 48 13
801 Trust me, Fred. “Exploding Litter Box” is going to go viral! 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
802 I hope they put Swedish meatballs at the end instead of cheese this time. 1.3645 0.04554 203 148 36 19
803 I can’t read Swedish, but I swear there are pieces missing. 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
804 Beats me. I only know how to find the cheese. 1.3645 0.03630 203 140 55 8
805 This is about creating our own reality 1.3636 0.04440 176 122 44 10
806 I'm not going back there for a missing screw. 1.3636 0.04655 176 125 38 13
807 They don't know we saw the plans, so when you break the record, act really surprised. 1.3632 0.04419 201 144 41 16
808 OK, we agree, then. We'll lay it out open-concept style and we each get our own master bedroom with a walk-in closet. 1.3632 0.04475 201 145 39 17
809 How do you think we'll get the human to run through it? 1.3632 0.04285 190 132 47 11
810 I heard the winning team gets Swedish meatballs. 1.3626 0.04525 171 119 42 10
811 Now, remember, this is a Skinner box. Our behavior counts more than our thoughts. 1.3621 0.04397 174 120 45 9
812 You know, we could have some fun with this. 1.3621 0.04689 174 124 37 13
813 Ironically, this is our ticket out of here. 1.3618 0.04273 199 140 46 13
814 It absolutely did not take the entire weekend when I made the exercise wheel. 1.3618 0.04448 199 143 40 16
815 Stop saying "Who moved our cheese?" There IS no cheese. 1.3618 0.04448 199 143 40 16
816 This time, let’s make it a little easier to find the pantry. 1.3618 0.04273 199 140 46 13
817 Open concept is the latest rage. I want to be able to see the babies from the kitchen. 1.3618 0.04213 199 139 48 12
818 I thought we agreed on open concept. 1.3618 0.04029 199 136 54 9
819 Tim, are you sure the cheese didn't come in the box? 1.3618 0.03997 199 143 43 13
820 Mon dieu! Alain, not Allen! 1.3618 0.04213 199 139 48 12
821 I'm creating my own reality. 1.3618 0.04213 199 139 48 12
822 Because the last time we made the maze out of corn, your family ate the whole thing. 1.3617 0.04313 188 131 46 11
823 Tell me again why we want to build a better mousetrap? 1.3617 0.04753 188 138 32 18
824 We bit off more than we can chew. 1.3604 0.04240 197 138 47 12
825 It says 'some assembly required'. -Obviously a trap. 1.3604 0.04301 197 142 41 14
826 No. What's Flowers for Algernon? 1.3604 0.04360 197 140 43 14
827 I told you we shouldn't order from Ikea. 1.3604 0.04301 197 139 45 13
828 Fuck...this...shit. 1.3604 0.04592 197 144 35 18
829 Trust me, the more missing parts, the better. 1.3604 0.04178 197 137 49 11
830 Tell me you didn't get the placebo. 1.3604 0.04301 197 139 45 13
831 You say it's Stockholm syndrome. I say it's IKEA! 1.3604 0.04360 197 140 43 14
832 I think we should go with an open floor plan. 1.3604 0.04419 197 141 41 15
833 It would be ironic if this turned out to be a rat trap. 1.3604 0.04419 197 141 41 15
834 Let's build the world's worst mousetrap. 1.3604 0.04301 197 139 45 13
835 It says here we can call for help. 1.3604 0.04419 197 141 41 15
836 Do you ever wonder if we sometimes get talked into doing things that are not in our best interest?" 1.3604 0.04301 197 139 45 13
837 I still say we should go with the open floor plan and a few throw pillows. 1.3604 0.04360 197 140 43 14
838 It's called a Stockholm Maze and we WILL enjoy assembling it! 1.3604 0.04360 197 140 43 14
839 Let's start with the cheese and work backward. 1.3604 0.04240 197 138 47 12
840 I'll build it but I'm damned if they can make me run around in it. 1.3604 0.04240 197 138 47 12
841 This is what I hate about Swedish labs. 1.3604 0.04535 197 143 37 17
842 Oh, great. The instructions are written in Cat! 1.3604 0.04116 197 136 51 10
843 Now that I'm designing the mazes, you'll always find the cheese in the first room past that door. 1.3602 0.04408 186 131 43 12
844 If we make it too easy, they might catch on and stop the cheese. 1.3602 0.04408 186 131 43 12
845 How will we know if we get it right? 1.3600 0.04873 175 128 31 16
846 Piece of cheese. 1.3590 0.04141 195 135 50 10
847 ...and with your small investment, I can add a second floor and flip this in weeks not months. 1.3590 0.04449 195 140 40 15
848 Honestly, I think it works better as a studio. 1.3590 0.04267 195 137 46 12
849 Look what we can do with this new drug we're testing." 1.3590 0.04449 195 140 40 15
850 We can build the maze in thirty minutes, find out way out in 4, or we can climb up the mans leg and grab the cheese when he freaks out. 1.3584 0.04630 173 123 38 12
851 Well I know we use this to line the bottom 1.3580 0.04714 176 127 35 14
852 I heard that IKEA's funding the research. 1.3575 0.04263 193 138 42 13
853 I checked the box 3 times, and I swear to you there is no Allen wrench in there!! 1.3575 0.04167 193 134 49 10
854 My granddad tells of a time when these came pre-assembled, with a prize inside. 1.3575 0.04231 193 135 47 11
855 The spring's missing! 1.3575 0.04479 193 139 39 15
856 I warned you about these millennial graduate students. 1.3575 0.04101 193 133 51 9
857 Let’s just YouTube the tutorial. 1.3575 0.03899 193 135 49 9
858 They test on mice first to make sure it’s not harmful for new couples 1.3575 0.04479 193 139 39 15
859 Just act dumb the first few times...then it's cheese heaven. 1.3575 0.04357 193 137 43 13
860 Only the Swedes could convince *us* to build a better mousetrap. 1.3575 0.04418 193 138 41 14
861 Let's go ask the cat. 1.3575 0.04598 193 141 35 17
862 I was Ok booking my own travel and pumping my own gas but this time they’ve gone too far. 1.3575 0.04479 193 139 39 15
863 I say we take the cheese and get the hell out of here. 1.3575 0.04539 193 140 37 16
864 A second bathroom will minimize droppings. 1.3575 0.04418 193 138 41 14
865 I think I know how to read instructions Minnie! 1.3575 0.04357 193 137 43 13
866 Wouldn't it make more sense to have the cheese on outside tables and serve wine? 1.3575 0.04294 193 136 45 12
867 where do you want the droppings 1.3575 0.04539 193 140 37 16
868 We have to build it now, too? 1.3575 0.04418 193 138 41 14
869 On second thought I think we should go with an open room concept. 1.3575 0.04294 193 136 45 12
870 Should we build this consistent with Skinnerian or gestalt principles? 1.3575 0.04167 193 134 49 10
871 I liked the meatballs. 1.3560 0.04193 191 133 48 10
872 Following the assembly instructions backwards was brilliant! 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
873 We're clearly not working for a rocket scientist. 1.3560 0.04385 191 136 42 13
874 This would be a lot easier if we could read. 1.3560 0.04385 191 136 42 13
875 Why'd you have to go to Ikea? 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
876 Those NIH budget cuts are really trickling down! 1.3560 0.04570 191 139 36 16
877 Do we really need a better mousetrap? 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
878 It's a TRAP!!! 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
879 Geez, we solve one maze and he sure steps up the degree of difficulty. 1.3560 0.03921 191 139 40 12
880 What?! The cheese is sold separately?!! 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
881 Of course there are no words. Mice can't read! 1.3560 0.04354 191 138 39 14
882 Maze? No. It's my new bed frame and nightstands. 1.3560 0.04258 191 134 46 11
883 It says right here, ‘cheese not included.’ 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
884 Screw this - let's think outside the box. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
885 Stop complaining. A maze is suppose to be complicated. 1.3560 0.04258 191 134 46 11
886 I'm hungry. Let's eschew the instructions. 1.3560 0.03741 191 134 49 8
887 No! I like it, it’s just— I think they’re going to notice.” 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
888 It's IKEA, what could go wrong? 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
889 If homo sapiens designed it, it cannot be that complicated 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
890 Looks like we’re in the control group on this one. 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
891 This is the last time I buy something from IKEA. 1.3560 0.04258 191 134 46 11
892 This is only page 1. There are 12 more to go. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
893 I prefer a more open floor plan. 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
894 No! I do not read Swedish" 1.3560 0.03393 191 142 38 11
895 I told you buying prefabricated is a scam. 1.3560 0.04258 191 134 46 11
896 DIY. WTF! 1.3560 0.04689 191 141 32 18
897 With ten cubicles, we should be able to make a few bucks. 1.3560 0.04193 191 133 48 10
898 Oh no, it's a better one. 1.3560 0.04093 191 139 39 13
899 As usual, we’re short two screws. 1.3560 0.04093 191 134 47 10
900 Can you believe it is in Swedish? 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
901 Gee, I dunno. Do we really want to be a metaphor? 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
902 Let's make it tough so they'll think we're struggling. 1.3560 0.04385 191 136 42 13
903 Come on, if Arnold Palmer can design a golf course we can do this! 1.3560 0.04059 191 141 36 14
904 And all I’m sayin’ is freedom’s an illusion. We all live in prisons of our own making. 1.3560 0.04193 191 133 48 10
905 Wait a minute. Let’s think outside the box. 1.3560 0.04193 191 133 48 10
906 It goes without saying that we don't tell anyone we built this. Okay? 1.3560 0.04570 191 139 36 16
907 Sorry I couldn't get us out of this. 1.3560 0.03991 191 130 54 7
908 If we don't put up the walls, it will be easier to get the cheese. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
909 Who says we have to build a maze? I'm more an open floorplan kinda mouse. 1.3560 0.04630 191 140 34 17
910 So you insist on knowing your IQ. And I say, we can take a test on the internet. But NO! You insist on going to IKEA 1.3560 0.04258 191 134 46 11
911 Just call TaskRabbit. I think he’s in Lab 4. 1.3560 0.04448 191 137 40 14
912 Let's put the cheese right at the beginning. 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
913 IKEA owes us three screws and a piece of cheese 1.3550 0.04774 169 122 34 13
914 We set it up, we run it, we time ourselves. Something to do with the funding cuts. 1.3545 0.04540 189 137 37 15
915 We just started and I'm already lost. 1.3545 0.04152 189 131 49 9
916 The real problem is going to be getting the cat to try it. 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
917 Let's just forget this and go straight for the cheese. 1.3545 0.04415 189 135 41 13
918 Wait—you have to buy the cheese SEPARATELY? 1.3545 0.04663 189 139 33 17
919 If we build it ourselves, we should do well on the tests. 1.3545 0.04285 189 133 45 11
920 An open-plan office might be WAY simpler. 1.3545 0.04152 189 131 49 9
921 Cheese sold separately." Damn 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
922 It's all in Swedish! 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
923 We got this- a straight line to the cheese. 1.3545 0.04602 189 138 35 16
924 Now they want US to train our replacements! 1.3545 0.04415 189 135 41 13
925 I told you we should've just rented 1.3545 0.04285 189 133 45 11
926 Remind me... why are we doing this? 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
927 The kit states “cheese included.” Is that cheese on your breath? 1.3545 0.04219 189 132 47 10
928 Yep, the three most feared words. Some assembly required. 1.3545 0.04663 189 139 33 17
929 Next they’ll want us to make our own cheese. 1.3545 0.04415 189 135 41 13
930 Quit saying, "Make it snappy." 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
931 I knew there were budget cuts, but this is ridiculous. 1.3545 0.04219 189 132 47 10
932 This looks hard. Maybe we should just go with the open floor plan. 1.3545 0.04152 189 131 49 9
933 We should let Customer Service know the set arrived without cheese. 1.3545 0.04318 189 136 40 13
934 I say let them build their own better mousetrap. 1.3545 0.04540 189 137 37 15
935 We won't have to go back on the treadmill if we pretend we don't know what we are doing! 1.3545 0.04350 189 134 43 12
936 I'm thinking fewer dead ends this time. 1.3545 0.04285 189 133 45 11
937 If we can put this together, we'll video THEIR confusion. 1.3545 0.04663 189 139 33 17
938 Even by psychologist standards, this is nuts. 1.3545 0.04350 189 134 43 12
939 You know... we could do an open floor plan. 1.3545 0.04014 189 129 53 7
940 Well we took the whole thing apart, so where's the cheese? 1.3545 0.04350 189 134 43 12
941 I say we just go to the bar 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
942 He’s learned to place the cheese correctly nearly every time. If he solves this one, we should publish. 1.3545 0.04540 189 137 37 15
943 Oh, great. We survived the tobacco experiment, but now this says "This product contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause cancer". 1.3545 0.04350 189 134 43 12
944 If we were really smart we’d have known what ‘some assembly required’ means. 1.3545 0.04118 189 133 46 10
945 Why don't we add a reward step at the end and see if any human will follow the directions 1.3543 0.04586 175 125 38 12
946 Let's just make sure shoppers go through every room. 1.3542 0.04366 192 137 42 13
947 I’m not going in there again until they start offering some vegan options. 1.3529 0.04346 187 135 39 13
948 We have to think outside the box. 1.3529 0.04444 187 134 40 13
949 It's from IKEA. 1.3529 0.04444 187 134 40 13
950 So just how hungry are you? 1.3529 0.04634 187 137 34 16
951 I have no idea how this goes together--I'm a Norwegian rat, not a Swedish one. 1.3529 0.04696 187 138 32 17
952 Let's memorize plan. We'll complete the maze challenge while walking backwards. It'll skewer their research for years, and maybe they'll keep us around longer." 1.3529 0.04509 187 135 38 14
953 Who moved my cubicle? 1.3529 0.04634 187 137 34 16
954 I just realized we don't have thumbs. 1.3529 0.04509 187 135 38 14
955 I don't know. I say we just take the cheese and run. 1.3529 0.04108 187 134 42 11
956 I couldn't help it: I ate the cheese. 1.3529 0.04696 187 138 32 17
957 Sort of a conflict of interest, but a job’s a job, ya know? 1.3529 0.04313 187 132 44 11
958 It says it right here, "Cheese not included." 1.3529 0.04280 187 139 33 15
959 There's no clause specifically stating the cheese must be at the end. 1.3529 0.04038 187 128 52 7
960 This has disaster written all over it 1.3529 0.03703 187 136 41 10
961 Let's try and think outside the box. 1.3529 0.04379 187 133 42 12
962 No, no cheese. Swedish meatballs. 1.3529 0.04572 187 136 36 15
963 I hear what you are saying but I think dead ends are so last year. 1.3529 0.04313 187 132 44 11
964 This is the last time we get a maze from IKEA. 1.3529 0.03545 187 139 37 11
965 First let's agree where the cheese should go. 1.3529 0.04572 187 136 36 15
966 I can already tell this experiment isn't going to end well. 1.3529 0.04313 187 137 36 14
967 Great. We haven’t even started and you’re already lost. 1.3529 0.04444 187 134 40 13
968 Typical! Cheese not included. 1.3529 0.04108 187 134 42 11
969 I know...what can I say? It’s from IKEA 1.3529 0.04379 187 133 42 12
970 This is not what I meant when I said I want to live some place amazing. 1.3529 0.04696 187 138 32 17
971 This is why I said “no Scandinavian labs,” Karen. 1.3529 0.04379 187 133 42 12
972 Let’s just Google it. 1.3529 0.04379 187 133 42 12
973 If you say 'hugge' one more time, you can build it yourself. 1.3529 0.04509 187 135 38 14
974 Are we going to have to make another trip to the Home Depot? 1.3529 0.04509 187 135 38 14
975 I hate you so much right now. 1.3529 0.04509 187 135 38 14
976 Fortunately, I resisted my urge to eat the instructions. 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
977 Remember, we want to build it so we're by the exit when we finish. 1.3523 0.04420 176 124 42 10
978 I didn't expect these instructions to be so labyrinthine. 1.3523 0.04420 176 124 42 10
979 I actually understand the instructions...Amazing! 1.3523 0.04564 176 126 38 12
980 Obviously IKEA has very few mice in its design department 1.3515 0.04999 165 122 28 15
981 Turns out, building a maze is a heck of a lot harder than finding your way out. 1.3514 0.04273 185 130 45 10
982 I'm afraid I'm not gonna be much help. The lab guys removed my hippocampi and I've forgotten every bit of Chinese I ever learned. 1.3514 0.04475 185 133 39 13
983 Let me get this straight. Scientists know we can build this complex maze — yet the whole reason for it is to have us run around inside to see how smart we are. Is this a government operation or what? 1.3514 0.04342 185 131 43 11
984 Are you kidding me? They forgot to include the cheese? 1.3514 0.04273 185 130 45 10
985 The reward at the end of the maze is a Swedish meatball. 1.3514 0.04375 185 134 38 13
986 I'm thinking split level, wine celler in the basement. 1.3514 0.03877 185 132 44 9
987 What's this 'cheese not included' nonsense? 1.3514 0.04342 185 131 43 11
988 I was thinking more of an open floor plan. 1.3514 0.04342 185 131 43 11
989 Oh great.We've got all the parts, but the wrong tool. 1.3514 0.04475 185 133 39 13
990 First we kill all the lawyers. 1.3514 0.04604 185 135 35 15
991 It takes a mouse to build a better mousetrap. 1.3514 0.04604 185 135 35 15
992 Why can't we serve our cheese on a plate like everyone else? 1.3514 0.03989 185 131 45 9
993 What do you think "placera ost här" means? 1.3514 0.04604 185 135 35 15
994 As far as I am concerned, they are all extra parts. 1.3514 0.04475 185 133 39 13
995 We’ve got this! You can read, right? 1.3503 0.04251 177 128 38 11
996 Don't run the maze too fast or he'll know we cheated. 1.3500 0.04791 160 115 34 11
997 Of course the one in Jersey is bigger but for the last time, we're city mice. 1.3497 0.04159 183 127 48 8
998 No wonder they call it Nö Ejksøt 1.3497 0.04637 183 134 34 15
999 No, I can’t read Swedish either. 1.3497 0.04266 183 131 41 11
1000 Cutbacks 1.3497 0.04506 183 132 38 13
1001 Fine. See if YOU can do any better without thumbs. 1.3497 0.04301 183 129 44 10
1002 The cat will never find us once we get this thing built. 1.3497 0.04086 183 126 50 7
1003 I think this whole animal testing thing has gone a bit far. 1.3497 0.04370 183 130 42 11
1004 I'm sure the website said cheese was included. 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
1005 Now that we've taken it apart it should be easier to find the food. 1.3497 0.04301 183 129 44 10
1006 This would be easier with opposable thumbs. 1.3497 0.04301 183 129 44 10
1007 See, I told you. It says right here, “Cheese not included.” 1.3497 0.04637 183 134 34 15
1008 Let's do the maze at IKEA, you said... It'll be FUN, you said... 1.3491 0.04535 169 120 39 10
1009 Just as I feared: “Cheese not included.” 1.3490 0.05296 149 111 24 14
1010 IKEA?! This is gonna be harder than the damn maze . 1.3486 0.04786 175 129 31 15
1011 Darn, the cheese is sold separately 1.3481 0.04400 181 129 41 11
1012 I TOLD you we should have shopped at the dollhouse store! 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
1013 How about we just build a better mousetrap instead? 1.3481 0.04400 181 134 33 14
1014 The quality sucks - they forgot the exit! 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
1015 I think they add extra parts just to mess with you! 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
1016 A line-of-sight path to the exit? Amazing! 1.3481 0.04258 181 132 37 12
1017 Wait, it's missing the cheese. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
1018 Just act baffled and they’ll give up on this stupid new experiment. 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
1019 I'm not sure what this is, but it looks amazing. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
1020 It's IKEA, so we start on page 3, go to page 1, then to page 7. 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
1021 Any chance you speak Swedish? 1.3481 0.03551 181 133 39 9
1022 So, what are all these extra pieces for? 1.3481 0.04185 181 131 39 11
1023 It was a Secret Santa gift from the lab! 1.3481 0.04400 181 129 41 11
1024 It's the intelligence test before the intelligence test. 1.3481 0.04537 181 131 37 13
1025 After we're done, let's put the cheese at the beginning this time. 1.3481 0.04435 181 132 36 13
1026 It used to be enough to figure out how to escape a maze. 1.3481 0.04330 181 128 43 10
1027 Yup, it's Ikea. Looks like the research grant was trimmed again." 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1028 Why? Because it's here. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1029 Get over yourself, Jerry. Nobody's watching to measure your response to this. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1030 Why are we building a "better" mouse trap again? 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
1031 I'm telling you, we need to start thinking outside the box! 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1032 Just saying, something strange about them hiring us to build a better mouse trap. 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
1033 Whoa! Cheese not included. 1.3464 0.04500 179 129 38 12
1034 Honestly, it would be easier to just build a better mousetrap. 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
1035 Our lives are completely meaningless. 1.3464 0.04249 179 128 41 10
1036 Geoff, to be brutally honest with you, I do think the culture of our lab has changed somewhat since the move to the private sector. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1037 I think it’s some kind of test. 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
1038 Navigating the maze is really quite simple if you read the plans first. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1039 When I told you to "amaze me" this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
1040 It's so easy a human can do it 1.3459 0.04549 159 112 39 8
1041 This is a lot of work just for cheese. 1.3455 0.04987 165 123 27 15
1042 Things are bad when you've to make your own maze. 1.3446 0.03582 177 126 45 6
1043 That’s the trickle down effect of the science funding cuts. 1.3446 0.04314 177 125 43 9
1044 Wait. WE have to build the maze our own cheese will be hidden in because Mexico refused to pay for it ? 1.3446 0.04740 177 131 31 15
1045 Frankly, after looking at the parts list, I fail to see what's in it for either of us. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
1046 Please tell me you didn’t get this from Ikea. 1.3446 0.04532 177 130 34 13
1047 Task rabbit assembles this in 20 minutes. 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
1048 More importantly, did you pick up the Swedish meatballs? 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
1049 How many times...it's the Deluxe kit that includes the Gruyere, Bob. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
1050 On the list of necessary tools it says "opposable thumbs." 1.3446 0.04602 177 129 35 13
1051 These oft go awry. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
1052 Do you understand Swedish? 1.3446 0.04314 177 125 43 9
1053 Apparently, this one's a marriage test. 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
1054 I say we just make a run for it. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
1055 How advanced do they think we are? 1.3446 0.04124 177 130 36 11
1056 It’s the best laid plan of mice only. Where are the men? 1.3446 0.04388 177 126 41 10
1057 Their mistake. I ordered the one for humans. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
1058 Well, this will easier to build than that Skinner Box you just had to have. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
1059 If you say, “Fire code.” one more time, you can go, right back to renting. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
1060 We should have paid the extra for Ikea to assemble it. 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
1061 Are we sure this is not a mousetrap? 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
1062 It was a marketing trap, dear. It says here that the cheese for this maze is sold separately! 1.3446 0.04388 177 126 41 10
1063 If I plan this right, the kids will be looking for the cheese until we can finish a conversation. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
1064 This maze ends with Swedish meatballs instead of cheese. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
1065 This is way too complex. Let's go for open concept. 1.3446 0.04388 177 126 41 10
1066 Maze, schmaze...what I want is a room without a roof! 1.3446 0.04740 177 131 31 15
1067 Let’s use TaskRabbit. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
1068 You think you’re lost now... 1.3446 0.04163 177 123 47 7
1069 If we build it, food will come! 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
1070 Let’s test this on humans first. 1.3439 0.04757 157 113 34 10
1071 Now do you believe me when I say there have been some serious scientific cutbacks. 1.3439 0.04757 157 113 34 10
1072 They say that the first step to fulfilment is to make your own path. 1.3439 0.04757 157 113 34 10
1073 This a whole new level of animal cruelty 1.3439 0.05008 157 116 28 13
1074 Why don't we just make it open-concept and use the pieces to make a coffee table and cheese tray? 1.3429 0.04267 175 123 44 8
1075 What do you mean the cheese is sold separately? 1.3429 0.04775 175 130 30 15
1076 Do they think we're blind? It's just another trap. 1.3429 0.04189 175 127 38 10
1077 We can sell the maps for a huge profit. 1.3429 0.03644 175 133 31 11
1078 Let's put it together so there's no way out, and then let them call us stupid. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1079 IKEA, am I right?! 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1080 Honey, can we have separate bedrooms? 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
1081 Algernon is late again. I say we build without him. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
1082 Ugh, the instructions are in rat. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
1083 If we finish they give you Swedish meatballs. 1.3429 0.04343 175 124 42 9
1084 Let's just order the cheese online. 1.3429 0.04343 175 124 42 9
1085 Honestly, I only go there for the Swedish meatballs and the sparkling pear juice. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1086 Never order from IKEA. 1.3429 0.04070 175 128 37 10
1087 Talk about getting lost in your work. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
1088 See, nobody's out to get us. Parts C, H, E, E, S, and E are all here! 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
1089 I didn't read the fine print: cheese not included. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
1090 The cuts for science research went a bit too far. 1.3429 0.04843 175 131 28 16
1091 Is our relationship ready for this? 1.3429 0.04110 175 121 48 6
1092 We'll never get the cheese - it's Ikea. 1.3429 0.04380 175 127 37 11
1093 Feels like a trap to me 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1094 I wouldn't normally go the trouble, but they've got a nice hunk of Manchego today. 1.3429 0.04267 175 123 44 8
1095 Look, just think outside of the box on this one. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1096 Believe me. They forgot the hole. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
1097 This would be much easier if we had opposable thumbs. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
1098 You think this is hard? Try putting a pop-up tent back in its bag! 1.3429 0.04600 175 130 31 14
1099 Of course, Ikea tells us how to put the damn thing together, but doesn't tell us how to get out when we are done. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
1100 Do you think we got the new drug or the placebo? 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
1101 Just to make it interesting, let’s decrease the behavior after the positive reinforcement. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
1102 Just in case we screw this up, let's eat before we start. 1.3419 0.04617 155 110 37 8
1103 That was some good cheese, now let's get to work on this. 1.3419 0.05132 155 116 25 14
1104 I can't make heads or tails of these directions. 1.3413 0.04556 167 120 37 10
1105 Screw the instructions. Let’s make it easy and just put the cheese right inside the door. 1.3410 0.04372 173 123 41 9
1106 'the mice will play'... My ass! 1.3410 0.04295 173 122 43 8
1107 Reminds me of Christmas Eve. 1.3410 0.04523 173 125 37 11
1108 Should we opt for the beginner, intermediate or advanced maze design? 1.3410 0.04523 173 125 37 11
1109 Seems a lot of work for a piece of cheese. 1.3410 0.04372 173 123 41 9
1110 Uh oh, it's written in Cat. 1.3410 0.04523 173 125 37 11
1111 What was wrong with the old one? 1.3410 0.04448 173 124 39 10
1112 Let's add a trap door and when no one is watching we can blow this joint. 1.3410 0.04741 173 128 31 14
1113 It is really a marriage test. 1.3410 0.04669 173 127 33 13
1114 What do you mean, “Why?”? 1.3410 0.04669 173 127 33 13
1115 Wait. We're supposed to make it harder to get the cheese? 1.3410 0.04597 173 126 35 12
1116 Maybe we should put some people inside and observe them. 1.3410 0.04811 173 129 29 15
1117 The main thing is to keep them putting cheese at the other end. 1.3410 0.04295 173 122 43 8
1118 The cheese isn't included? 1.3410 0.04741 173 128 31 14
1119 Who of us isn't guilty of building his own trap that he then longs to escape from? 1.3410 0.04372 173 123 41 9
1120 I told you we shouldn't have shown them how smart we actually were. 1.3410 0.04523 173 125 37 11
1121 With the budget cutback, now we get to assemble our own maze! 1.3410 0.04216 173 121 45 7
1122 It's not about the cheese. 1.3410 0.04448 173 124 39 10
1123 What kind of Mickey Mouse outfit is this to have us build our own maze? 1.3410 0.04811 173 129 29 15
1124 Instead, how about an open plan? 1.3410 0.04523 173 125 37 11
1125 The map helps, but what are we looking for? 1.3410 0.04372 173 123 41 9
1126 Don’t do it, it’s a trap. 1.3410 0.04597 173 126 35 12
1127 All I ever wanted to know was who moved my cheese. 1.3410 0.04741 173 128 31 14
1128 Forget it, let’s just go get meatballs. 1.3410 0.04295 173 122 43 8
1129 And you're sure that, after we build this, there'll be cheese at the end? 1.3410 0.04333 173 125 38 10
1130 Sure we can talk. Too bad we can't read. 1.3410 0.04597 173 126 35 12
1131 Screw the directions! We're building a sturdy roof and a safe, loving home for the three of us." "Oh darling, do you mean...?" "Yes, my cousin needs a place to stay. 1.3409 0.04470 176 127 38 11
1132 I thought we agreed you wouldn't order things I have to assemble. 1.3400 0.04900 150 109 31 10
1133 Rats! It didn't come with a ferris wheel. 1.3399 0.04833 153 111 32 10
1134 Relax, it's not rocket science. 1.3399 0.04652 153 109 36 8
1135 Mickey’s parents paid a contractor to build his maze. 1.3399 0.04559 153 108 38 7
1136 It says cheese not included. 1.3392 0.04161 171 119 46 6
1137 Donnen't vorryrryen, I pootten dissen togennderren. Easy deesee. You jooststen getten der catten. 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
1138 This is the last maze I buy from a cat. 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
1139 Can you read Gerbil? 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
1140 I thought you ordered maize. 1.3392 0.04402 171 122 40 9
1141 So I was thinking of something really complicated. 1.3392 0.03816 171 125 38 8
1142 What do they mean, 'Cheese sold separately'!? 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
1143 We can build it with a foolproof backdoor. 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
1144 I can run the maze, no problem. I just can't build one. 1.3392 0.04630 171 125 34 12
1145 What? I thought these things came with cheese. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
1146 I thought the box said 'cheese included.' 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
1147 I got it from Eekea, you're gonna love it! 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
1148 Ever since PETA stepped in, they let us conduct our own experiments. 1.3392 0.04630 171 125 34 12
1149 You can always tell when the instructions were written by someone who doesn't speak Mouse. 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
1150 ‘We better call Chip and Joanna’ 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
1151 I got the fire insurance, did you bring the matches? 1.3392 0.04402 171 122 40 9
1152 They say that we are as smart as dogs, so lets just go in there and poop. 1.3392 0.04848 171 128 28 15
1153 IKEA cheese better be great! 1.3392 0.04848 171 128 28 15
1154 They say it raises the IQ 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
1155 What did you expect? NIH grants haven't gone up in years. 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
1156 It says here the cheese isn’t included. 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
1157 Listen, Einstein, we only have an hour, so let's spend the first 55 minutes to make sure we understand the problem. 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
1158 Forget the directions! We’re making it a straight shot to the cheese. 1.3392 0.04323 171 121 42 8
1159 The best laid plans of mice. 1.3392 0.04630 171 125 34 12
1160 I'll help you Jerry, but I think this is what your therapist meant when he said you self-sabotage. 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
1161 I can't make heads or tails of it." 1.3392 0.04848 171 128 28 15
1162 Wouldn't you know, we're missing a part - the cheese. 1.3378 0.04941 148 108 30 10
1163 Oh god. It’s from IKEA?! 1.3377 0.04962 151 111 29 11
1164 Sadistic human not included. 1.3376 0.04568 157 112 37 8
1165 I feel like cats wrote these instructions. 1.3376 0.04478 157 111 39 7
1166 This is one of the easiest mazes we've ever built! 1.3376 0.04829 157 115 31 11
1167 You just had to go to IKEA... 1.3374 0.04623 163 118 35 10
1168 It says we were supposed to eat the reward last. 1.3373 0.04813 169 126 29 14
1169 I'm thinking open kitchen, marble floor... 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
1170 It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it's in a good neighbourhood, and the price was right. 1.3373 0.04352 169 120 41 8
1171 The three most scary words in the English language are "easy to assemble. 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1172 I don't care how much you like the meatballs, we aren't going back there. 1.3373 0.04588 169 123 35 11
1173 Apparently we have to supply the cheese. 1.3373 0.04352 169 120 41 8
1174 Long story short, lab funding's been cut. 1.3373 0.04511 169 122 37 10
1175 It's either this or a better mousetrap. 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
1176 When all else fails, eat the instructions! 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
1177 Do you have any idea what happened to the cheese that came with the kit? 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1178 I’m tellin’ ya, Mort, an escape room franchise is a smart investment right now. 1.3373 0.04511 169 122 37 10
1179 Ok I give up. Call Ikea helpline. 1.3373 0.04739 169 125 31 13
1180 You got the cheese, right? 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1181 So, do you still think it wasn't worth the $10 to have it pre-assembled? 1.3373 0.04588 169 123 35 11
1182 Hey. let's do Mies van der Rohe this time. 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1183 It needs more food pellet dispensers and less electric shock grids. 1.3373 0.04229 169 121 40 8
1184 Sure we can! Then watch the look on their idiot faces when we run it in record time. 1.3373 0.04511 169 122 37 10
1185 It's called a maze, it will keep us busy for hours!!! 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1186 If we build it, they will come--and give us treats. 1.3373 0.04739 169 125 31 13
1187 Apparently, we were supposed to set this up, THEN eat the cheese. 1.3373 0.04665 169 124 33 12
1188 All I know is that the second mouse always gets the cheese! 1.3373 0.04588 169 123 35 11
1189 These PhDs sure are getting lazy. 1.3373 0.04511 169 122 37 10
1190 Two extra screws, no cheese. 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
1191 Next, they'll ask us to make the cheese. 1.3356 0.04820 149 108 32 9
1192 Screw it, let's cut to the cheese. 1.3355 0.04953 155 115 28 12
1193 It looked easier to assemble in the Ikea showroom. 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1194 Damn it, 2 screws short. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
1195 I'm confused. How do we know when we are finished? 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1196 I say we wait and see where she puts the cheese first. 1.3354 0.04544 158 113 37 8
1197 It won’t matter how we build the maze since there’s no exit. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
1198 Well, looks like he finally got Mexico to PAY for it but I’m not sure they sent the right plans. 1.3354 0.04544 158 113 37 8
1199 Cheese not included? You and your bright ideas. 1.3354 0.04076 158 118 31 9
1200 How's your Swedish? 1.3353 0.04924 167 126 26 15
1201 They're testing our marriage." 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1202 You're not going to believe this. Musfälla is Swedish for MOUSETRAP! 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1203 The fact that we ate the cheese already gives me even less motivation to build this. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1204 You thought they'd build the maze for us? In this economy? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1205 Damn! Cheese not included! 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1206 Let's just eat the cheese now and call it a day. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1207 You know, I’m not really all that hungry. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1208 Wouldn't it be simpler to join a gym? 1.3353 0.04382 167 119 40 8
1209 Since we don’t speak a language, I am so glad IKEA prints their directions in pictures 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1210 Wish I could read. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1211 We can do this, Frank. Let's build a mousetrap we can live in! 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1212 Apparently, whatever they're feeding us has made us smarter than the senate committee that funds our study. 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1213 who's ikea was this? 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1214 If we build it they will come... and put cheese in it. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1215 WAIT A MINUTE......... EXACTLY WHY ARE WE BUILDING A BETTER MOUSETRAP? 1.3353 0.04256 167 125 31 11
1216 There are easier ways to get cheese, you know. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1217 You can really get lost in these instructions! 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1218 I can't make head nor tail of these instructions! 1.3353 0.04850 167 125 28 14
1219 Human engineering: no purpose, no privacy, no way out. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1220 We have to start over. It says to build the inside walls first. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1221 The good think about a do-it-yourself maze is that we can place the cheese right at the entry. 1.3353 0.04583 167 124 31 12
1222 If we build it,they will come--and put cheese in it. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1223 The scientists have taken the IKEA thing too far 1.3353 0.04214 167 117 44 6
1224 It's actually a 1:500 scale model of their store. 1.3353 0.03076 167 123 39 5
1225 It was cheaper from Ikea. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1226 I thought you said this came with cheese. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1227 I'm thinking clean, streamlined, functional - bringing the Baumaus style into interior maze design. 1.3353 0.04850 167 125 28 14
1228 I wanted an artisanally-chewed warren, but this is so much cheaper 1.3353 0.04340 167 121 37 9
1229 Just our luck! The fine print: Cheese not included. 1.3353 0.04850 167 125 28 14
1230 I say we rent the maze instead. 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1231 I told you the cheese is not included! 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1232 I’ve checked twice, they left out the cheese 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1233 Seems like too damn much work for a piece of cheese. 1.3353 0.04503 167 123 33 11
1234 A Wall, he wants us to build a wall? 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1235 Are you sure we're not looking at plans for a better mousetrap? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1236 What is a screwdriver? 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1237 If our relationship can survive building it, running it will be a piece of cake. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1238 Really? Just six screws, an allen wrench and these instructions??? And all along we've been thinking the humans are the smart ones." 1.3353 0.04039 167 120 40 7
1239 We should have known something was up when Dr. Jorgen announced he was ‘off to IKEA!’ 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1240 We shouldn't have solved those earlier ones so quickly, how long now before we get fed? 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1241 Made in the USA! Why are the directions in Chinese? 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1242 I'm sorry, but the directions are written in Gerbil. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1243 Trust me, honey. I read a lot of design magazines. Open concept is over. 1.3353 0.04298 167 123 34 10
1244 Oh, oh. The directions are in Swedish" 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1245 Hey we are missing the most important piece...wait a minute, Scott, your breath smells like cheese. 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1246 The faster we build this, the faster we can flip it. 1.3353 0.03761 167 122 38 7
1247 Oh Mickey, I'm so excited ! A labyrinth of our very own ! 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1248 That’s right—f we build it, they will come. With cheese. 1.3353 0.04340 167 126 29 12
1249 It was a nice dream, but let's return to our respective attics with a shred of dignity intact. 1.3353 0.04298 167 118 42 7
1250 But wait, maybe we're thinking out side the box? 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1251 You’re the one who said putting it together would be as easy as running through it. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1252 This is why we read the directions, Phil. It says here not to eat the cheese yet. 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1253 It's what you get for buying the maze at Ikea 1.3353 0.04583 167 124 31 12
1254 Why do humans make everything so complicated? 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1255 no problem, it will be a snap to put it together you said 1.3353 0.03949 167 124 34 9
1256 I'll bet you I can build a better one. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1257 Pay attention to the instruction so we don't get lost like last time. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1258 Why don't we just put the cheese at the front? 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1259 Wow, this is the first time I've ever actually built one! 1.3353 0.04340 167 121 37 9
1260 I'm trying to recreate a Billy bookcase hack I saw on Pinterest. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1261 You're right, we should screw this. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
1262 This seems like a lot of work and running around. Tell me again why we can't just eat the cheese? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1263 Is this some kind of a test? 1.3353 0.04382 167 119 40 8
1264 Can you read Ikea pictures ? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1265 Yup, it's a better mousetrap. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1266 Even worse, apparently the cheese is sold separately. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1267 Wait, these instructions are in Swedish. 1.3353 0.04543 167 126 28 13
1268 I'm telling ya, in order to get the paper in we've gotta fold it and then pivot! 1.3353 0.03564 167 125 34 8
1269 I’ll figure this out. You go find some cheese. 1.3353 0.03949 167 119 42 6
1270 Now, hold each part of the trap in your paws, and ask yourself if it sparks joy. 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
1271 If it makes you feel better, humans don't understand IKEA instructions either. 1.3353 0.04850 167 125 28 14
1272 What if we went with an open floor plan, and added a roof instead? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1273 Hear me out: We put the cheese in the foyer. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1274 Forget the home. Let’s build a maze instead. 1.3353 0.04463 167 120 38 9
1275 Listen, I'm happy they bought us this new house. I'm just a little cautious about installing a spring-loaded bed with a cast-iron jaw. 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
1276 What good is a maze without the cheese? 1.3333 0.04431 159 113 39 7
1277 Darn it. Can we same day cheese on Amazon? 1.3333 0.04656 165 121 33 11
1278 get sven. it's from Ikea. 1.3333 0.04693 159 116 33 10
1279 Pretty sure that 'If you build it, they will come.' doesn't apply here." 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
1280 I have to admit it. I’m lost. 1.3333 0.04608 159 115 35 9
1281 I want an open concept and large cedar closet. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1282 Scoff if you must, Walter. I say with these plans we are masters of our own destiny. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1283 Or, a feng shui approach with no turns. 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
1284 Of course..."Mâze"...why didn't I see that before? 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
1285 I thought we were never buying from Ikea again?! 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
1286 Just remember, the best laid plans of mice and men can go awry 1.3333 0.04667 156 113 34 9
1287 Is it just me or is the scientist getting lazy? 1.3333 0.04327 165 117 41 7
1288 So you can speak and comprehend Swedish, but you can't read it? 1.3313 0.04442 163 117 38 8
1289 If you can figure this out, you don't need to take the test. 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1290 I think it's a trap! 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1291 He said it would easier to navigate if we built it ourselves! 1.3313 0.03897 163 121 34 8
1292 You always said you wanted a house you could get lost in. 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1293 They call it the Mäze. 1.3313 0.04691 163 120 32 11
1294 You say they got a research grant from Ikea? 1.3313 0.04224 163 122 31 10
1295 “What’s the point? There’s no cheese included.” 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
1296 They’re starting to expect too much out of us, Jerry. 1.3312 0.04228 154 107 43 4
1297 Don't you just hate it when they drop off these IKEA kits and we have to put it together ourselves 1.3312 0.04471 154 112 34 8
1298 Let's put an end to this maze before morning. I'll chew the long rectangles, you take the squares. 1.3312 0.04424 154 109 39 6
1299 This would be easier if we had hands like Mickey. 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
1300 Now they want us to build it too, typical... 1.3312 0.04748 154 115 28 11
1301 Do you ever feel that life's just too much of a rat race? 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
1302 I think we have to construct our own maze....but make it simple enough that those guys in white coats can figure it out! 1.3312 0.04424 154 109 39 6
1303 Maze building feels more rewarding than working in the trap factory. 1.3312 0.04657 154 114 30 10
1304 I wish you weren’t always trying to save money with this do-it-yourself stuff. 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
1305 This is a test of patience, not ability. 1.3312 0.04424 154 109 39 6
1306 Memorize these plans. 1.3312 0.04424 154 109 39 6
1307 I say, Let's not over think this. 1.3312 0.04612 154 111 35 8
1308 I'm nervous about the location of the catwalk. 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
1309 I know it says "labyrint" in Swedish, but let's build a rental unit instead. 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
1310 Ten times larger and we’ve got the cat. 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
1311 No cheese and now we have to build our own maze! 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
1312 We should have paid the $99 and had IKEA do it. 1.3312 0.05051 154 116 25 13
1313 I've heard that only us Swedish mice have to assemble their own mazes. 1.3312 0.04471 154 112 34 8
1314 So, by doing it this way we can get to the cheese every time, right? 1.3312 0.03199 154 118 29 7
1315 I feel kinda awkward assembling mouse traps, but the cheese offer was just too good to pass! 1.3312 0.03915 154 114 33 7
1316 With careful placement we can turn it into a bowling alley. 1.3292 0.04727 161 121 28 12
1317 I told you we should have gotten the Flueggen instead of the Strutenogen! 1.3292 0.04644 161 118 33 10
1318 You had to buy it at Ikea didn't ya? 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1319 Putting it together is the real test of intelligence. 1.3291 0.03230 158 119 33 6
1320 Personally, I think that building it will be it's own reward. 1.3291 0.04254 158 111 42 5
1321 I wanted the door to have a rounded top. 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1322 Damn, we're missing the cheese! 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1323 I mean how good can IKEA cheese be anyway? 1.3289 0.04739 152 111 32 9
1324 It's Kushner's Middle East Peace Plan...it needs some work! 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
1325 I've checked the materials and the schematics. Not a scrap of cheese anywhere. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1326 I'm not sure we should do this; that Ikea cashier looked an awful lot like a cat. 1.3289 0.04356 152 107 40 5
1327 On second thought, let's go with the open-office concept. 1.3289 0.04306 152 109 37 6
1328 This will be easy, are you a mouse or a man? 1.3289 0.03401 152 116 29 7
1329 No....I said "Marry me and our whole life will be aMAZEing" 1.3289 0.03337 152 113 34 5
1330 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ A maze of instructions for a maze , will buy this product again “ 1.3289 0.04739 152 111 32 9
1331 It's backwards - the cheese should be at the end...... 1.3289 0.03271 152 115 31 6
1332 But once we figure it out, they’ll just move the cheese again 1.3289 0.04739 152 111 32 9
1333 This could be aMazing!! 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
1334 Won't they be amazed! 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
1335 This isn't a house - it's a trap! 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
1336 You millennials don’t get it. It’s not to make reaching the cheese harder, it’s to keep the cats out. 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
1337 I have the feeling that we shouldn't have accepted this job. 1.3289 0.04989 149 111 27 11
1338 If we build it, they'll hide crumbs 1.3289 0.04897 149 110 29 10
1339 Now they’re just getting lazy. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
1340 It has no exit. Run. 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1341 It’s my least favorite part of Christmas Eve. 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1342 The real test here will be on our relationship. 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1343 It's gonna be all left turns to the cheese - we tell the others, skew the data, look like genius mice, and the grad student gave me $50 already to put it together! 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1344 Don’t go in there, it’s a trap! 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1345 You've got to be kidding -- Swedish?? 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1346 Ernie, so help me... if this is a trap, I’m just going to scream... 1.3270 0.04416 159 114 38 7
1347 And that, my friend, is how you unbuild a better mousetrap. 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1348 Remember when it was just finding the cheese? 1.3270 0.04416 159 114 38 7
1349 Why put up the walls at all? 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1350 I don't need this aggravation Ralph! Let's go back to our traditional hole in the wall! 1.3270 0.04846 159 119 28 12
1351 Trust me; I was in the control group last week. These instructions are wrong. The HAND just wants to see how we resolve conflict. 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1352 You do it. Amaze me. 1.3270 0.04846 159 119 28 12
1353 Do you know how many mice would kill for a job at IKEA? 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1354 Elmer, I was using Trojan Horse as a metaphor. 1.3269 0.04184 156 109 43 4
1355 On second thought, I think I want an open concept maze. 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
1356 Apparently, a guy named Allen left his wrench in the box. And no: I don't know why. 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1357 The cat told me he'd put it together for us. Might be worth the risk. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1358 Everyone is going to make a joke about IKEA, let’s think outside box. 1.3248 0.04447 157 113 37 7
1359 I love shopping at Icheesa 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1360 How about if we seal up the box and address it to be mailed to Hawaii? 1.3248 0.04967 157 119 25 13
1361 All this for a Swedish meatball? 1.3248 0.04884 157 118 27 12
1362 The real puzzle here is how this idea got past the ethics review. 1.3248 0.04259 157 111 41 5
1363 I think I'll take my chances in the terrarium 1.3248 0.04884 157 118 27 12
1364 I know there’s an IKEA joke in there somewhere. Looks like we’ll have to make it ourselves” 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1365 Ready for some sweat equity? 1.3248 0.04113 157 117 32 8
1366 Aside from missing screws and incomprehensible instructions, the reward for completion is not cheese but a garage sale ready book shelf. 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
1367 Are you sure labyrint means bookcase? 1.3247 0.03729 154 116 31 7
1368 I want the corner office. 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1369 No more rat-race! Let's leave it open plan. 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1370 I never said I could read. I thought you could. 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1371 I'm thinking an open concept maze so we can entertain while we find the cheese 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1372 This time, more rooms and less neverending twisted hallway from hell! 1.3243 0.04036 148 109 33 6
1373 Let's just go back to squatting. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1374 Is there an 800 number? 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1375 They must be graduate student researchers. 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1376 It's a good thing I can read Swedish. 1.3243 0.04416 148 105 38 5
1377 If you go with our basic ergonomic floor plan, it’s just one zig and one zag and you’ve got your treat. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1378 I hate being used in research funded by IKEA. 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1379 The really expect us to build an Ikea? 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
1380 I still think putting together the kids swing set was more difficult! 1.3226 0.04662 155 116 29 10
1381 I do not think it is a good idea if we build a better mouse trap. 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1382 Once again, it’s HR trying to justify their existence. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1383 I say we put the maze together ourselves. That way we get the cheese every time." 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1384 I promise you, it's not a trap. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1385 If we build it, cheese will come. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1386 The guy at IKEA said it would take an hour to assemble. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1387 I wish they would include some captions with these cartoon directions. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1388 What if we just refuse to do it? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1389 It's time to call IKEA. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
1390 Build it and the cheese will come. 1.3226 0.04384 155 116 30 9
1391 It'd be easier if we just built one big, beautiful wall. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1392 If we build this we get a...What's a PhD? 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1393 No, the lab assistant and the cheese are sold separately. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1394 I don’t have a problem with the way it is now. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1395 We’re gonna build a wall the biggest wall the world has ever seen. 1.3226 0.04525 155 115 31 9
1396 Amazing space! Thank you, dear, for dismantling the partitions. I so much do prefer the open floorplan. 1.3226 0.04431 155 114 33 8
1397 See? I told you the cheese isn't included. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1398 I'm embarrassed to say that I don't even know how to use a mouse let alone AI. 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1399 But what if it's a trap? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1400 Funding cuts. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1401 It's not a maze, they're testing build-your-own condos. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1402 To me, of course, this is normal sized print. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1403 This is a musfälla Karen! Not a råttspel! 1.3226 0.04525 155 115 31 9
1404 We never follow directions. Why start now? 1.3226 0.04287 155 110 40 5
1405 I can’t see us getting to the end. 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1406 Since you already ate the cheese, there's no point in putting this thing together. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1407 It's about time the white-coats started asking open-ended questions. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1408 I’d feel more motivated if it came with cheese. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1409 It’s just my opinion, of course, but I don’t think we should be helping them build a better mousetrap. 1.3226 0.04035 155 115 33 7
1410 It's the corporate model so we'll have to move our own cheese too. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1411 The human equivalent is called socialism 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1412 With one entry, it looks like we can check in any time we want. 1.3226 0.03478 155 115 35 5
1413 I thought you ordered the one with cheese!!!! 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1414 In graduate school we design the maze. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1415 Forget the maze, I say we go condo! 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1416 I heard government funding for research has been cut, but I didn’t know it was this bad. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1417 I wonder what M O U S E T R A P spells? 1.3226 0.04616 155 116 29 10
1418 Do you get the feeling we've become dupes of mail order consumerism? 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1419 Trust me. I've got this. 1.3226 0.03596 155 111 41 3
1420 Who Moved My Cheese?" made a lot more sense before open offices were a thing 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1421 Where do we put the restroom and gift shop? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1422 I hear these IKEA builds can make or break relationships. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
1423 I hate this IKEA bullshit. 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1424 Why is there always one screw missing? 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1425 I'm sure it's good—Jerry's never even come out of his! 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1426 They say it's the true test of a relationship. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1427 This is great Geoffrey. The kids will never find us. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1428 They're scientists, they wouldn't have forgotten to give us something! 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1429 Oh, great. It says 'Jarlsberg sold separately.' 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1430 It's right here in the fine print: 'Cheese not included.' 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1431 They don't say anything about opposable thumbs 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1432 I know! I can call my cousin Mikea Mouse! 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1433 Or, we could just eat the cheese. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1434 The box made it look like it came with cheese. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1435 This is the Flurn maze! I told you I wanted the Biilke! 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1436 Wait: what does TRAP mean? 1.3226 0.05008 155 118 24 13
1437 It was designed by Jean-Paul Sartre. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1438 After we swap out a safe room for the hallway of doom, I say we hide the cheese there. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1439 Shoot. The directions are in French! 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1440 It's from the committee on airport security management. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1441 Why bother? Everyone's looking for open concept these days anyway. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1442 I was hoping we could have the space be more of an open plan 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1443 But will this be enough wall to satisfy the base? 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
1444 Dammit, it's all color-coded. 1.3224 0.04630 152 111 33 8
1445 Don't worry. I put an electroshock machine together with my ex. 1.3224 0.04133 152 111 35 6
1446 Keep this on the dl but let me tell you a little something about the so called Stockholm Syndrome 1.3224 0.04438 152 109 37 6
1447 I miss Tom. 1.3224 0.04723 152 112 31 9
1448 I sure wish PETA would intervene. 1.3217 0.05022 143 107 26 10
1449 Well mister-save-some-money - TOLD you we shoulda paid Ikea to assemble it first ! 1.3214 0.04994 140 104 27 9
1450 If we do this right, will they let us live? 1.3209 0.05036 134 99 27 8
1451 What do you say we skip the next five steps,throw these pieces out, then we won't have to waste time getting to the other end? 1.3205 0.04313 156 114 35 7
1452 I could do this blindfolded. 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
1453 Yeah, I guess eating the cheese first sort of defeats the purpose... 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
1454 It’s amazing. They didn’t include any exits in these plans! 1.3203 0.04788 153 114 29 10
1455 And that’s how we’ll trap the humans. 1.3203 0.04877 153 115 27 11
1456 It's called reverse engineering. 1.3203 0.04163 153 110 38 5
1457 But condos would give us a better return on investment! 1.3203 0.05050 153 117 23 13
1458 They keep raising the bar. 1.3203 0.04510 153 111 35 7
1459 Yes, but should we build a better mousetrap? 1.3182 0.04671 154 114 31 9
1460 We'll need a room for aging cheese. 1.3182 0.04486 154 114 32 8
1461 Screw the directions. We can figure it out. 1.3182 0.04671 154 114 31 9
1462 Instructions? I don’t need no stinkin’ instructions! 1.3182 0.04936 154 117 25 12
1463 Put the cheese in first. 1.3179 0.02877 151 111 38 2
1464 Go to the Internet and see if there’s a workaround 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1465 If we do this right we can get cheese anytime we want! 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1466 If we build it our selves the cheese will be ours in no time. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1467 I heard that Ikea was the funding source for the experiment. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1468 Curse you Larry! What would possess you to buy the "mouse-träap" house from IKEA? 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1469 These Scandinavian experiments have the sleek and modern look of much more expensive experiments. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1470 It's not from IKEA. It's from the Farmer in the Dell. We might as well give up for it says in the end the cheese stands alone. 1.3176 0.04985 148 112 25 11
1471 Should we take some LSD? 1.3176 0.04985 148 112 25 11
1472 I think it's another experiment on learned helplessness. 1.3176 0.04701 148 109 31 8
1473 Know anybody that can read Swedish? 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
1474 I prefer Swiss cheese to Swedish architecture. 1.3176 0.04450 148 109 32 7
1475 Ever since CRISPR, they keep raising the bar. 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
1476 But I own Boardwalk! 1.3176 0.04798 148 110 29 9
1477 Hold on, I smell a rat! 1.3172 0.04864 145 108 28 9
1478 Check the box again; the cheese is missing. 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
1479 I think I prefer the open concept. 1.3172 0.04559 145 105 34 6
1480 Good golly Hermie, we've stumbled upon the plans. 1.3158 0.04817 133 97 30 6
1481 I say we go with the open floor plan. 1.3158 0.04697 133 96 32 5
1482 You’ve read “Flowers for Algernon,” right? 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1483 I hear the new lab director is Swedish. 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1484 Yes! I do want it to look like a maze. Everyone in my family has mastered a maze at least once in their lifetime! 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
1485 Should we just go with the open office concept? 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
1486 I just want to make sure I get to keep my office, even after the baby. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
1487 You know, we could have skipped all this and just ordered the cheese instead. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
1488 Say, "It's going to be Ahh-MAZING" one more time and you're on your own. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
1489 We’ve got to return this. It’s missing the cheese. 1.3154 0.05009 130 96 27 7
1490 Sure it's an astounding maze but what if we forget the solution, Algernon? 1.3133 0.04451 150 109 35 6
1491 When I said, “The best-laid plans of mice and men,” I was not referring to IKEA. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1492 You know what I could go for right now? A meatball. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1493 Trust me. It will be amazing. 1.3129 0.03776 147 113 27 7
1494 I never used an Allen wrench before. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1495 Don't sweat our lack of thumbs. We're paid by the hour. 1.3125 0.04774 144 107 29 8
1496 Why did you buy the 'Cheese Not Included' version? 1.3125 0.04566 144 105 33 6
1497 Insert IKEA joke here. 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
1498 If adding an extra turn last time made the researchers run around the lab, let's add two this time. 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
1499 Lets do it... With these plans not even a GPS could find us 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
1500 Wait a minute...there's no cheese included...! 1.3125 0.04671 144 106 31 7
1501 Whose idea was it to buy an IKEA escape room? 1.3125 0.04875 144 108 27 9
1502 We’re lost. 1.3125 0.04459 144 104 35 5
1503 On second thought, let's go with an open-office plan. 1.3125 0.04671 144 106 31 7
1504 Are you sure this is part of our contract ? 1.3116 0.04460 138 99 35 4
1505 No, It’s not a trap. Stop being so paranoid! 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
1506 Once we build this, have you considered the impact on future generations? 1.3116 0.03751 138 106 26 6
1507 Why make it hard on ourselves..? 1.3108 0.03437 148 114 28 6
1508 Not fair! We get the ugly box stores and Slartibartfast gets the Fjords! 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
1509 You know what they say about the best laid plans.... 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
1510 A new home is a big infestment. 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1511 Go get your mother. 1.3099 0.04490 142 108 26 8
1512 I say we should just call IKEA and ask. 1.3099 0.04490 142 103 34 5
1513 We still have 2 screws from the last one, so this should be enough for the diningroom table when we're done. 1.3099 0.03342 142 109 28 5
1514 Forget the instructions, I say we just make a hallway directly to the cheese... 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1515 These are always missing a part 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1516 Think you can build a better mousetrap? 1.3099 0.04490 142 103 34 5
1517 No Betty, we don't need to call for help, I can figure this out. 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1518 Son, I've told you time and again, you set your own mousetrap or someone else will set one for you. 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1519 Don’t give me that look. We knew getting it home would be the easy part! 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1520 This will be the ultimate test of our relationship 1.3099 0.04377 142 102 36 4
1521 Man, talk about getting lost in your work... 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1522 Why do they think we like mazes? 1.3099 0.04377 142 102 36 4
1523 We're agreed? Cheese accessible, no corner office? 1.3099 0.04434 142 105 31 6
1524 You put the damn thing together; you're the one who insisted on going to Ikea. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1525 It's true. The best-laid plains of mice and men often do go awry. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1526 Whddaya mean you forgot the Swedish meatballs?? 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1527 Let's check YouTube for a video. 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1528 Agreed, cheese goes in every corner. 1.3099 0.04600 142 104 32 6
1529 Umm, can we just cut to the cheese? 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1530 We have to go back...I can't find the cheese. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1531 That didn't take long to disassemble. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1532 How to Make a Cat Trap 1.3099 0.04545 142 106 29 7
1533 The price was great, but these instructions are in Swedish. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1534 Looks suspicious. All hallways. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1535 Apparently they got their research funding from Ikea. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1536 So what do we do with Tabby after we catch her? 1.3099 0.05114 142 109 22 11
1537 The only part that seems to be missing is the cheese, Lewis. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1538 But I've been working so hard to break the walls down between us. 1.3099 0.04600 142 104 32 6
1539 Ikea thinks anything we can assemble humans can assemble" 1.3099 0.03559 142 113 21 8
1540 Bad news. I think we’re missing parts. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1541 We already built a better mousetrap. This can't be difficult. 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1542 Lets just bell the cat 1.3099 0.04600 142 104 32 6
1543 The hell with it! Let's leave it open. 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1544 I can build it myself. We don't need to hire contractors! 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1545 I didn't even know IKEA had a lab! 1.3099 0.04600 142 109 24 9
1546 I think we need IKEA for dummies. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1547 But look, if we skip to step 17, we can eat the cheese now, then just circle back later when we feel like it. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1548 Isn't this cheating? 1.3099 0.04262 142 101 38 3
1549 Screw it. Put the cheese in, eat the cheese. Done! 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1550 Okay, say we get it done. How’s it gonna bring the cheese? 1.3099 0.04490 142 108 26 8
1551 The seeds are missing. I ordered a maize kit. 1.3099 0.04545 142 106 29 7
1552 An Open Floor Plan sounds like a good idea. You know what else sounds like a good idea? Free cheese. That's how they got Billy. 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1553 Promise me it is the last time we buy a maze at Ikea... 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1554 I've always wanted an open floor plan. 1.3099 0.04600 142 104 32 6
1555 This says that it is supposed to come with cheese. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1556 We've got to go back to IKEA for the cheddarskoort. 1.3099 0.04377 142 102 36 4
1557 C'mon, the cuts to the research budget mean we all have to pitch in a little more. 1.3099 0.04600 142 104 32 6
1558 I thought you said you had built plenty of hice? 1.3099 0.05016 142 108 24 10
1559 Let’s think outside the box. How about we construct a house instead? 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1560 I must admit, when Dr Skinner said he was going on a research trip to Sweden this was not what I envisaged. 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1561 Damn it Louise, they left out the cheese! 1.3088 0.05272 136 105 20 11
1562 And they said this would be a piece of cheese... 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1563 This is what happens when they move the cheese. 1.3083 0.04795 133 103 21 9
1564 Do they really need us in order to study IKEA's effect on relationships? 1.3083 0.04795 133 103 21 9
1565 Cheese isn't on the parts list. 1.3077 0.04865 130 96 28 6
1566 First they make us run it, then they make us build it. A-maze-ing what they put us through. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1567 Great, but where does the cheese go? 1.3077 0.04295 143 105 33 5
1568 Wait a minute. Do we have opposable thumbs? 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1569 Did you buy this from Ikea” 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1570 Your cousin Mikea sent it. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1571 'We're IKEA's new target demographic!' 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1572 It's like scanning my own groceries. 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1573 This will really screw up their experiment. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1574 I hate you 1.3071 0.04798 140 107 24 9
1575 How come we always end up with dead end jobs? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1576 They used to let us smoke. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1577 This is more bewildering than the maze! 1.3071 0.05159 140 108 21 11
1578 I hate HATE Ikea. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1579 Build it and cheese will come. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1580 I don't speak any of these languages. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1581 Is it just me or are these mazes getting way more complex? 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1582 I can assure you, once assembled, it will lead to Swedish meatballs! 1.3071 0.04407 140 101 35 4
1583 So here is where we place the diversion for Tom. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1584 Now they want us to build our own maze? Screw that! 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1585 I'll make the cocaine dispenser. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1586 How's your Chinese? 1.3071 0.03711 140 108 26 6
1587 Another Day, Another ‘Acting’ Cabinet Secretary 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1588 this doesn't look victorian era to me. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1589 If there's one lesson you take from your father's death, I hope it's this—always use the instructions. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1590 When's it gonna look like a wheel? 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1591 They make you do so much more these days for your cheese. 1.3071 0.05159 140 108 21 11
1592 While they build a better mousetrap, we will build a better mouse hole. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1593 Really, this time IKEA has just gone too far! 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1594 It feels like we are trying to reinvent the wheel. 1.3066 0.04582 137 100 32 5
1595 No worries ... I’ve drawn up some counterfeit plans for their “better mousetrap” design. 1.3060 0.04645 134 98 31 5
1596 It's time we talked about your cheese addiction. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1597 If we memorize this, it isn't cheating. We'll break the record, have a snack and get home early. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1598 I think IKEA has a YouTube video for this. 1.3053 0.05185 131 100 22 9
1599 Who's supplying the cheese? 1.3053 0.04454 131 94 34 3
1600 The fools! Now when they put us in here we'll know where the treat is every time! 1.3053 0.04710 131 96 30 5
1601 You forgot the cheese. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1602 Dammit! They forgot the cheese. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1603 What say we ask for the cheese up-front?" 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1604 I like the "open floor plan" option. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1605 Don't worry, I've done this a hundred times. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1606 I should have guessed, 'No cheese included.' 1.3043 0.03350 138 107 26 5
1607 Any more budget cuts and they'll shut down the lab completely. 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1608 Let them build a better mousetrap. We'll build a better bungalow. 1.3043 0.04496 138 103 29 6
1609 ‘So now you tell me you can’t read?’ 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1610 I'll get the cheese 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1611 I assumed cheese was included. 1.3043 0.04316 138 99 36 3
1612 Fuck it - Let's raid the pantry. 1.3043 0.05404 138 109 16 13
1613 I'm gerrymandering the maze, so I'll always win. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1614 Frankly,I reckon gnawing a hole in the skirting board is much quicker. 1.3043 0.05306 138 108 18 12
1615 It says there's supposed to be a brick of cheese, did you eat it?! 1.3043 0.03794 138 105 28 5
1616 First , we need to learn how to read..... 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1617 I thought YOU could read Swedish! 1.3043 0.04437 138 105 26 7
1618 I say we put the cheese in the entrance and screw the rest. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1619 hmmm, is THIS our test, or is THAT our test? 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1620 We seem to be missing a block of cheese. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1621 I'm lost already. Let's just forget it. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1622 It's amazing how they can make these instructions so that anyone can read them... 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1623 You said we were only getting the meatballs. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1624 This wall will definitely put an end to the migrant mice problem. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1625 Sometimes I feel like these designers are just testing us. 1.3043 0.04836 138 106 23 9
1626 And then we'll look brilliant -- looking like we never saw it before. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1627 Where are the little meatballs? 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1628 This is the last time I buy anything from Ikea 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1629 Couldn't we just order the cheese? 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1630 Oh my God! It’s a trap. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1631 I'm building a better mousetrap. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1632 I feel like this would be a lot easier with opposable thumbs 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1633 The YouTube video was no help at all! 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1634 Of course, they have to kill us after we finish it. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1635 I thought YOU knew how to read. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1636 It’s written in Swedish. 1.3043 0.04192 138 108 22 8
1637 With the right jerrymandering, we can always get the cheese! 1.3043 0.04254 138 106 25 7
1638 Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just order it from Amazon already assembled?" 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1639 It’s a Jean-Paul Sartre maze kit - no exit. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1640 Can we just skip to the wine pairings? 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1641 Option A is "Build a Wall." Option B is "Create a Maze of Bureaucracy." 1.3043 0.05205 138 107 20 11
1642 I think an open floorplan would be less stressful. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1643 Be careful so we can get a good sub-let. 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1644 Back in the day, all we had to do was run the maze not build it. 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1645 Looks like we have reached Level II. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1646 No, I thought YOU were getting the permits. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1647 I told you not to buy IKEA. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1648 Remember when employers used to assemble these things? 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1649 Do you really think the cat’s going to fall for this? 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1650 But where will we put the bidet? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1651 Look, Lloyd, if you're going to just keep eating the cheese before we begin, then this whole exercise is pointless. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1652 These assembly instructions are clear. Still, they will be challenging for male humans. 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1653 These NIH budget cuts are really starting to bug me. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1654 Did I misread smorgasboard ? 1.3043 0.04377 138 102 31 5
1655 Do you think those those Task Rabbits in the next lab would put this together for us for a reasonable price? 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1656 This is a lot of trouble for a small piece of moldy cheese. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1657 This is going to be a-maze-ing! 1.3043 0.04254 138 101 33 4
1658 So, do you want the master bath or the walk- in closet? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1659 Ikea wants to see if we can assemble it faster than humans. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1660 So you pay a little extra, but at least you know you'll get the cheese. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1661 I can't read this. 1.3043 0.04128 138 105 27 6
1662 Well, getting there is half the fun. 1.3043 0.03863 138 103 31 4
1663 It is going to be easy and if hear Mexico is going to pay for it. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1664 But... I thought the Minotaur costume was included." - Maisie Jacobson, Toronto, Canad 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1665 Remind me again why we are doing this ? 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1666 I read that in one recent animal study, 42% of humans failed to complete a similar task, and of those, 18% experienced a precipitous increase in all-cause mortality within two years. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1667 It says right here: Cheese sold separately. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1668 What did I tell you before you ordered it? It’s in the fine print, “Cheese not included.” 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1669 They don’t include the cheese? 1.3043 0.04496 138 103 29 6
1670 Designing them gives me agency. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1671 Aren’t AP classes fun? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1672 HOW TO BUILD A BETTER MOUSETRAP???? Yikes, I thought it was a maze. 1.3043 0.04377 138 102 31 5
1673 will they make us get our own funding next? 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1674 I know we need the exercise, but wouldn’t it just be easier to switch to low-fat cheese? 1.3043 0.04437 138 105 26 7
1675 We can still return this, right? 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1676 We can give ourselves the larger bedroom... 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1677 I just didn’t know you were into the whole maze thing. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1678 Oh, great. It says here— ‘Cheese Not Included.’ 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1679 Im not saying that it’s a trap, but I think that there is only one way in. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1680 Let's build it with an escape tunnel underneath like El Chapo. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1681 With all the budget cuts, we have to build the our own mazes, but at least we still have our jobs. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1682 Get on YouTube and check videos for IKEA mouse maze 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
1683 Why are the leftover parts never cheese? 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1684 I suspect they'll also ask us to do the rest of the experiment for just cheese. 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1685 I regret asking management for more responsibility. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1686 Ikea, why? 1.3030 0.04426 132 95 34 3
1687 But why are we trying to build a birdhouse anyway? 1.3030 0.04618 132 99 27 6
1688 Don't look at me. I just went for the meatballs. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1689 I prefer an open concept layout. 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1690 Is it still an escape room if we see the instructions? 1.3030 0.04491 132 103 21 8
1691 This is a piece of cake, but where should we hide the cheese? 1.3030 0.04680 132 99 27 6
1692 -ing. It could be a-maz-ing. 1.3030 0.04294 132 94 36 2
1693 Sure, we can build one, but who's gonna test it? 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1694 The Lab Guy shops at Ikea. 1.3030 0.04157 132 98 30 4
1695 You got this at Ikea....right? 1.3030 0.03304 132 100 29 3
1696 I thought the catalog said cheese was included. 1.3030 0.04555 132 96 32 4
1697 What about a mud room to the right,and then a central corridor with the kids rooms on either side? 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1698 What part about the A before B theory of causality don’t you understand? 1.3030 0.04555 132 96 32 4
1699 This is what separates us from the lower mammals. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1700 We should’ve hired a task rabbit. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1701 I''ve heard of reverse psychology, but this ridiculous! 1.3030 0.01042 132 104 26 2
1702 Is "Ikea" too obvious a caption? 1.3030 0.04087 132 100 27 5
1703 I preferred it when they only expected us to run the maze. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1704 You know,we could always hire a Task Rabbit. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1705 So simple, even an American can do it. 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1706 Stockholm what? 1.3030 0.04742 132 100 25 7
1707 My shrink suggested it. 1.3030 0.04426 132 95 34 3
1708 I’m hoping that if we figure this out we’ll attract the attention of the Nobel committee in Sweden. 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1709 Oops! This is the Mexican border kit! 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1710 I still think calling taskrabbit would have been less scary. 1.3030 0.04426 132 100 26 6
1711 It's going to be a lot like trying to find your way around Ikea. 1.3030 0.03869 132 101 26 5
1712 I've never built a big one square foot house before. 1.3023 0.04618 129 99 23 7
1713 We used to compete for pellets. Now we collaborate for room and board. 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1714 Just tell me where the mouse trap is.” Helen T. Stafford, New York, N 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1715 Looks like someone let the cat out of the bag. Maybe I should rephrase that… 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1716 I TOLD you we shouldn't go to IKEA! 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1717 This seems to be a lot of work just to do a lot of work when we're done. 1.3015 0.04344 136 98 35 3
1718 No way I will get it finished for the kids’ Christmas morning. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1719 The instructions for this Ikea pre-fab home is like solving one of those freakin' cheese mazes 1.3015 0.04647 136 103 26 7
1720 We have to build our own tests now? 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1721 The directions are in Mandarin. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1722 Why don't we put the cheese right at this end? 1.3015 0.04085 136 101 31 4
1723 It’s the IKEA lab. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1724 Um, it says here 'Cheese not included.' What the &*#@! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1725 Think 'Myth of Sisyphus' with a little Friedrich Nietzsche thrown in. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1726 They expect us to build a better mousetrap? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1727 I'm not sure. The box said it's called "Irrgång" 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1728 Let's go to Lab 72 and let this cheapo build his own damn maze. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1729 It doesn’t matter whether we follow the instructions. There’s no exit on the other side anyway. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1730 I thought you were getting the cheese. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1731 It came from the Psychology Department at Ikea. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1732 I'm telling you, Jerry, once we memorize the escape route, they won't inject us anymore. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1733 What’s a wing nut? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1734 C'mon Jimmy, this isn't rocket science. 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1735 We haven't even built it, and I'm already lost. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1736 Let's forget the bookcase and just build a maze. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1737 Of course, the instructions would be much easier to follow if we could read. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1738 I’m lost, Gerald. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1739 Let’s make the maze spell “Out”—that’ll get ‘em. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1740 I suppose next they’ll expect us to write up the experimental results. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1741 What?! It says the cheese is sold separately! 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1742 Are you SURE this is just another book shelf? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1743 Do we really want the world beating a path to our door? 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1744 Would you rather be building a better mousetrap? 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1745 Let's call Skinner, he'll know what to do!!! 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1746 You told me that the cheese was included 1.3015 0.04467 136 104 25 7
1747 Time to call Ikea customer support. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1748 Yeh baby, we’re in management now!! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1749 I really thought we would have an infrastructure bill by now. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1750 The instructions are in Swedish. Can you read Swedish? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1751 Itty bitty sanctuary city. 1.3015 0.04344 136 98 35 3
1752 Ikea says: you move your cheese. 1.3015 0.03809 136 104 27 5
1753 I think this would be easier if you didn't have to Mouseplain everything. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1754 ‘Ain’t gonna be much of a challenge if the entry and exit points are the same, eh?’ 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1755 So do you really think we're going to win the science competition this year? 1.3000 0.04674 120 87 30 3
1756 A bit suspicious that all the pieces are here except for the cheese 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1757 This is too good to be true! 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1758 What's the point without cheese? 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1759 I know it's complicated, but the Swedish meatballs are worth it. 1.2992 0.04652 127 93 30 4
1760 What's the point? They didn't send the cheese. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1761 If we make it through, we get a Swedish meatball. 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1762 I agree with you, Harvey, but Dr. Mendel wants us to think outside the box. 1.2992 0.03923 127 98 24 5
1763 Did you eat the cheese? 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1764 Our marriage is about to be tested like it never has before. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1765 These instructions are the real maze. 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1766 I really think we should take out this wall to open up the floor plan. 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1767 Apparently, the cheese is 'sold separately' ". 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1768 I told you IKEA would have it. 1.2985 0.03094 134 106 23 5
1769 It looked simpler in the Ikea catalog! 1.2985 0.03674 134 102 28 4
1770 This is going nowhere. 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1771 This looks like a BJÖRKSNÄS from IKEA! 1.2985 0.04915 134 104 21 9
1772 This furniture from I-Squeeka is amazing! 1.2985 0.04560 134 101 27 6
1773 It came from Ikea - how hard can it be? 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1774 I thought that cheese was included" 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1775 I told you the cheese was sold separately. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1776 Of course it’s a test! Why else would they ask US to build it? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1777 It’s for the kids. I need to get it set up by December 24th. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1778 But it’s written in Swedish!! 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1779 It’s supposed to be the latest in exercise equipment. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1780 I'm from Norway not Sweden. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1781 Call me a hopeless romantic, but I hope to birth at least 83 children in our new house, within the next 2-3 years, because I love you, and know no other way. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1782 Do you want cheese or not? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1783 But it says we need someone named Allen. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1784 "Yes, the instructions are in Swedish, but it's not like either of us can even read English. 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1785 Hmm. 'Cheese not included.' I just don't see the point. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1786 I’m not building it. Despite what we’ve been promised, I don’t believe Mexico will pay for this. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1787 At least they're not making us pay for it, too! 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1788 You’ll need to get a variance from the city. You must have at least two points of egress with this kind of square millimeterage. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1789 What? No cheese? 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1790 IKEA, apparently, has moved the cheese. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1791 These instructions are a maze. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1792 These damn Ikea mazes always come with a couple screws missing. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1793 PETA files lawsuit against Ikea over animal testing." 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1794 Once it's assembled, it will provide an endless lifetime supply of cheese. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1795 As far as Ikea is concerned, we might as well be three blind mice. 1.2985 0.05405 134 106 16 12
1796 I think there’s a piece missing. Can you see anything that looks like a piece of cheese? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1797 Well, to begin with, none of those boards have a “B” on them. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1798 I’m designing my career. Of course there’s no exit. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1799 Says here the reward for completing this one is a 'sense of accomplishment'" 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1800 I got Swedish meatballs for when we finish 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1801 What was wrong with living in a hole in the wall? 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1802 Is cheese really worth all of this work? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1803 I think I'd be more motivated if we started with the cheese. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1804 I think we were supposed to wait to eat the cheese. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1805 White-glove assembly was extra, Sharon. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1806 God damn it. Do you want a maze or do you want an "open concept?" 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1807 This blueprint’s a maze! 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1808 Wait a minute - did you remember to order the cheese? 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1809 I can't read either, what do you think they want us to do this time? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1810 We found the answer key! 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1811 i thought a few practice runs would give us an edge 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1812 What do you mean, there are always parts left over? 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1813 Of course I'm conflicted, but it's a job. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1814 No, that's the trap door for the cat, THIS is the door to the cheese cellar! 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1815 Funny that IKEA decided to sell a scale model of their own store. 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1816 And now you see that cheese is not included 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1817 It says here we're apparently supposed to stay inside the maze at all times. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1818 Ok, let's make it eight blind alleys. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1819 This is no Gouda. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1820 I told you IKEA furniture is impossible to build. 1.2985 0.03750 134 105 23 6
1821 They said,’’some’ assembly required. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1822 What I want to know is "Where's the cheese?" 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1823 If we build it better- what's the catch? 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1824 It wasn’t my idea to get a fixer-upper. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1825 Do we really need a bathroom ? 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1826 So what you're saying is there was never any cheese at all. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1827 Should’ve never taken that promotion. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1828 Well, honey, remember you're the one who didn't want to pay for the assembly package. 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1829 Don't look at the instructions, I want to get lost. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1830 Honestly, why bother? It says right here: ‘Cheese wedge not included.’’ 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1831 No, it's not a minimalist structure. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1832 Don't you think that if they let us build it any results would be biased? 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1833 What are you, blind? It already offers an open concept.” 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1834 Oh of course. Cheese not included. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1835 If we can follow our noses through a maze, we can follow IKEA instructions. 1.2985 0.04372 134 97 34 3
1836 It still doesn't look like a cat trap to me! 1.2984 0.05245 124 97 18 9
1837 If we remember how we designed this thing, we can navigate it in record time. Dr. Verner will be so impressed. He might even write an article about us in that Journal he reads all the time! 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1838 But if we build a sauna instead of a maze, we can jerk around the neuroscientists. 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1839 Let's not, and say we did! 1.2977 0.04559 131 96 31 4
1840 Maybe they won’t notice. 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1841 This plan is missing something ,who cut the cheese 1.2977 0.04559 131 96 31 4
1842 It's from Sweden; says to use Swiss cheese once assembled, but American cheese will have to do. 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
1843 They didn't tell us there was a monthly subscription! 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1844 Does it not concern you even a bit that the name of this thing is Muztrop? 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1845 This is all in Spanish 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1846 Ever feel like you're your own worst enemy? 1.2977 0.03374 131 98 31 2
1847 There must be some kind of big reward if we can do all of this. Screw cheese I’m talking Miami. 1.2977 0.04930 131 99 25 7
1848 Let's grab a six pack and put on The Who. 1.2977 0.04293 131 97 31 3
1849 I'm not digging the parmesan sandbox... 1.2977 0.03936 131 99 28 4
1850 No wonder the humans hate IKEA. 1.2975 0.05202 121 92 22 7
1851 These drugs don't work. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
1852 Cat got your tongue? 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1853 After we build it researchers will reward us with many treats. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
1854 Forget their maze. Let’s build a ladder and bust outta here. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1855 And so we get to build our own unique health care policy with these set of options. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1856 You ordered this without the cheese? 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1857 When will it end? First it was eat the cheese. Then it was find the cheese and eat it. Now we have to assemble the maze? 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1858 Tell me again how this is supposed to help my anxiety. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1859 Go ahead Mr. Big Wig with the college degree, tell us what the blueprint says. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1860 I look forward to the day when we can afford something better than Ikea. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1861 After we assemble this, let's run some trials to see which responses will produce the greatest rewards. 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1862 Don't look at me. I needed extended time on my SATs. 1.2955 0.04530 132 97 31 4
1863 These instructions are for how to build a better mousetrap. But we're not gonna follow these instructions, are we? 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1864 I don't read Swedish. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1865 This is a-maze-ing! . . . A Japanese garden with Swedish directions! 1.2955 0.04778 132 99 27 6
1866 If this works, do you think the world will beat a path to our door? 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1867 Easy in, easy out, that’s the plan. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1868 I do not see my lactose-free cheese listed. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1869 Some assembly required. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1870 Next thing you know, they'll have us milking the cow! 1.2946 0.05209 129 100 20 9
1871 This research role responsibilities are increasing exponentially 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1872 Let’s just eat the cheese now and forget the instructions. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1873 I’m drawing the line at data collection. 1.2913 0.04887 127 96 25 6
1874 We can't read, we're mice. 1.2913 0.04758 127 95 27 5
1875 Fuckin' Ikea man. Fucking capitalist pigs. Couldn't even include one single extra goddamn screw. Fuck me. 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
1876 [No caption necessary.] 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1877 I told you we should have bought this pre-assembled. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
1878 You're right, Martha, Ikea stores really ARE a maze. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
1879 Is this part of every job interview? 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
1880 I feel like you're testing me. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
1881 Let's just move on to the next gallery. 1.2883 0.04683 111 81 28 2
1882 You'd better go find the box of bits left over from the last "build it yourself" project, you know we'll be missing something. 1.2881 0.04677 118 87 28 3
1883 Do you know anyone at Ikea? 1.2881 0.04754 118 90 23 5
1884 Well, looks like he finally got his wall. Let's do something amazing with these leftover parts. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
1885 We're out of cheese. Why are we building this again? 1.2880 0.05306 125 98 18 9
1886 It SAID no assembly required!! 1.2880 0.05183 125 97 20 8
1887 You put up the walls, I’ll find the cheese.” 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1888 Let them figure out there own maze ! 1.2880 0.04727 125 96 23 6
1889 It says 'build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door'. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1890 I'm lost. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1891 Why do you always fall for these DIY projects 1.2880 0.05306 125 98 18 9
1892 I don’t know either. Let’s just assume that the end justifies the means. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1893 Let's put the food next to the door. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1894 If we get it right, we get meatballs. 1.2880 0.04222 125 95 26 4
1895 Ernie, why are we contributing to our own downfall? 1.2880 0.04658 125 95 25 5
1896 We could learn Swedish, but I say we just buy the cheese. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1897 Our great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers had it so much easier. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1898 I'm doing it for the Swedish meatballs. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1899 It looks like a slippery slope. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1900 Trust me! What makes it better is that we serve the guests cheese in the entry hall. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
1901 Or we could just take the path of least resistance... 1.2880 0.04517 125 92 30 3
1902 You know, this whole maze thing would be a lot easier if we just skipped this part. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1903 You just had to move the cheese didn’t you. 1.2880 0.04992 125 98 19 8
1904 I suppose we could just gnaw a finish hole. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1905 I like the open floor plan as is. We're done. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1906 Sure, it's more work, but at least I'm my own boss. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
1907 I just don't get the open-concept trend. 1.2880 0.04067 125 99 20 6
1908 Wait! Is this part of the test? 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1909 It’s a DIY maze from IKEA, but you have to supply the cheese yourself. 1.2880 0.05183 125 97 20 8
1910 If you build it, they'll get lost. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1911 Do they think we're stupid? We know a mousetrap from a maze any day. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
1912 They want us to make our own labyrinth? 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1913 In my day, all you had to do was find your way through it. 1.2880 0.04517 125 92 30 3
1914 I hear anyone can make it in the real estate development business these days. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
1915 Don't despair! Ikea has a Maze-Yourself hotline. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1916 I told you we had to buy the cheese separately 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1917 All I wantedwas the meatballs 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1918 It says you may need help with this step from a cat. 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
1919 I KNOW THE DIRECTIONS DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE NOW,BUT I PROMISE YOU'LL BE AMAZED WHEN WE'VE FINISHED. 1.2869 0.02725 122 95 25 2
1920 They say it's a piece of cheese to assemble. 1.2869 0.04725 122 91 27 4
1921 I doubt any of the 2020 candidates will get through this one! 1.2869 0.04725 122 91 27 4
1922 Compared to our human trap, this is a slice of cheese! 1.2869 0.04505 122 92 26 4
1923 I know this looks complicated but just imagine how rewarding it's going to be at the end. 1.2869 0.04580 122 90 29 3
1924 Or, we can just wing it 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1925 If cheese is sold separately, why not just buy cheese? 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1926 I guess we were supposed to save the cheese for the end. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1927 Let's not figure this out. If we do, they'll have us put together all their Ikea furniture. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1928 I'm not sure this is worth it without the cheese. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1929 Nice... but what are we going to do with a liquor cabinet? 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1930 How will we ever get it out the door? 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1931 This maze is called an office cubicle. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1932 I give up. Let’s call a TaskRabbit. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1933 It says here, ‘cheese not included.’ 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1934 It says, "Cheese, sold separately". 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1935 I'm pretty sure the cheese was included. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1936 Ever feel like things exist just to test you? 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1937 If we put this maze together, they'll give us cheese. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1938 At least it’ll be easier to find the cheese. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1939 Build it and rewards will come. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1940 Let’s toss the damn thing and just eat the cheese. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1941 I smell a rat in these instructions! 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1942 You only make it LOOK hard, so we look like geniuses! 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1943 We can't reward them. They left out three screws and the cheese. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1944 I thought you said you spoke IKEA. 1.2857 0.04795 119 91 23 5
1945 Rats! I think we are missing the cheese. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1946 They always leave out one screw. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1947 So, how much was the assembly fee? 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1948 So they’re not even giving us sugar anymore? 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1949 And here's the best part: we pretend we don't know our way through! Just to mess with them. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1950 Are you sure this is where you want it? 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1951 I'm having doubts about this getting us any extra cheese. 1.2857 0.04869 119 92 21 6
1952 It's from Sweden. Norway Rats have nothing to do with Ikea. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
1953 A Cheese Maze? Why can't we just eat the cheese now and call it a day? 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
1954 I'm finally getting my Mickey cave. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1955 To me it's all about the Gouda, the Roquefort, the Camembert. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1956 We're never shopping at IKEA again! 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1957 See, it says it right here: 'cheese NOT included.' 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1958 duuude! the instructions are the real labyrinth! 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1959 Why are the directions in Swedish?" 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1960 No, this is not like cheating on the SATs: it' s more like due diligence in advance. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1961 I heard DIY is all the rage in research these days. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1962 This would probably go easier if we hadn't eaten the cheese first. 1.2857 0.04488 119 87 30 2
1963 This whole process appears to be counterproductive. 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1964 No exit. This isn’t a maze. It’s a TRAP! 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1965 You don’t need to be Frank Lloyd Rat to realize this is a poor design. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1966 The directions are from IKEA. This should be easy. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1967 This IKEA furniture is so great! 1.2846 0.04085 123 93 27 3
1968 It's the federal funding cutbacks. We have to build our own now. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1969 Did you bring the cheese? 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1970 Apparently you also have to provide your own cheese. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1971 Is Ikea-ed a verb? 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1972 And why would we hide our food? 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1973 When we’re done it will be just like the maze at any IKEA store. 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1974 This could be a trap. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1975 Build a better mouse trap and the world will beat a path to your door. Build your own maze and they'll bring cheese. Get moving. 1.2846 0.04548 123 91 29 3
1976 Oh no, it looks like the directions went through google translate. Do you see a 'planken' marked '%6 and a 'pinner' marked '&8'? Also keep an eye out for any 'soft flaux' ,whatever that is. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1977 Cheez Louise! 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1978 Billy has the measles but we can still win first place at the science fair. 1.2846 0.04399 123 90 31 2
1979 I feel like we’ve hit a wall. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1980 These cartoon people are cute, but would it kill them to include some words in the instructions? 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
1981 Think Frank Lloyd Wright would approve of this? 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1982 Text you cousin who lives at Ikea. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1983 'Get a fixer-upper', you said. We're MICE, dammit. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1984 It’s missing the cheese. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1985 Really? You bought the one that says, "Cheese not included"? 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1986 We should have bought the display model. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1987 Before IKEA you just had to get through the maze to get the cheese. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1988 If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times—don’t order anything that says “assembly required!” 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1989 Forget the schematics. Let's build it so we win every time! 1.2846 0.04474 123 93 26 4
1990 Isea, Ibea, Ikea! 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1991 The 'cheese', my friend, is in the doing of it... 1.2846 0.05479 123 98 15 10
1992 Wouldn't you know it - the part they left out is the cheese. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1993 Do you know how much lab mice make?! This training set up will more than pay for itself. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1994 I really think that if she wants us to perform these tests she should build it herself 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
1995 If I'm going to be running the rat race,I'd rather it be on my terms. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1996 That IS what we're doing......thinking outside of the box! 1.2846 0.04548 123 96 21 6
1997 Hey, who moved our cheese? 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1998 Cheese wedge not included. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
1999 We should have paid extra to have it assembled. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
2000 I know it’s a pain, but IKEA makes the BEST mazes! 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2001 It’s one of IKEA’s latest trappings 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2002 We're on our own. The instructions are in Chinese. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2003 'It's all English to me' 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2004 Damn this instruction kit. We are missing a screw! 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2005 I can't believe I do this all week in work, just to come home and have to do the same thing..... 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2006 So we've gotta build our own maze? Who ARE these jokers? 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2007 Their meatballs are great! Their instructions....not so much... 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2008 The reward at the end is what, again? 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2009 At IKEA, you solve a maze to buy a puzzle. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
2010 How much was the cost to have it assembled when you ordered this? 1.2846 0.02455 123 100 19 4
2011 I wish you wouldn't bring your work home. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2012 Next time we buy it installed. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2013 It's the giant, easy-to-build, luxury maze from Ikea. 1.2846 0.04474 123 93 26 4
2014 Does it count as cheating if we built it? 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2015 Let's leave this here and move down the hall. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2016 What is the purpose of this piece of wall again? 1.2846 0.04474 123 93 26 4
2017 Let's make it dead end to mess with the humans. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2018 They taught me to talk, not to read. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2019 What?! No cheese included? 1.2846 0.04399 123 90 31 2
2020 It did say some assembly required when we ordered it. 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2021 Contractors are such rats. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
2022 The assembly service will not be carried out if the customer refuses to secure the piece of furniture where this is indicated in the product instructions. 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
2023 ...and you thought “Mousetrap” was fun. 1.2833 0.04906 120 91 24 5
2024 Remember, easy enough for the house mice to win once in awhile, but hard enough that the lab mice don't run us out of cheese! 1.2833 0.04761 120 90 26 4
2025 Ikea bro. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
2026 Do you know how to read? 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2027 The trick is knowing where to start. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2028 The kids are gonna love this. 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2029 A lot of work for no reward, if you ask me! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2030 They left out the cheese. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2031 What do you mean you already ate the cheese? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2032 Do you think this is part of the test? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2033 This would be easier if we knew how to read. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2034 It's a living! 1.2810 0.04268 121 93 24 4
2035 Of course we can do it. It's not like we're trying to build a better mousetrap. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2036 Why are we doing this again? 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2037 You know the instructions for pouring water out of a boot are written on the heel. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2038 I keep telling you - the best way to predict the future is to invent it! 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2039 I smell a rat. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2040 THIS is how we beat our best time. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2041 Sure, but it will be OUR maze. 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2042 ...IKEA is expanding into the DIY housing market..." 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2043 Build a better what?! I didn't send you to MIT for this! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2044 Let's just eat the cheese now 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2045 We can't get there from here. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2046 The assembled floor model seemed simpler in the store with the Rosti potato fritter between my paws. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2047 So inspired, so devious and yet so simple. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2048 I think that's too many parts to have left. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2049 How dumb do they think we really are? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2050 It's called Mäaz 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2051 Did you find the bag with opposable thumbs? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2052 Who needs directions? Just put the cheese right inside the entry. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2053 We have to make it look hard so they’ll think we’re smart. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2054 This is the last maze I order from Ikea! 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2055 Why not just eat the cheese? 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2056 After we build the maze, we get to navigate through it and get some cheese. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2057 Let’s build it so there’s a straight shot to the cheese. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2058 These NIH budget cuts are are really beginning to bite! 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2059 Yeah, it says so right here, "cheese not included." 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2060 Look, even they can do it. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2061 I say let’s scrap the stupid maze and just go get some cheese. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2062 Wait, it says here cheese not included 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2063 Now that the research budget has been cut, we all have to pitch in a little more. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2064 I give up, let's just eat the cheese. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2065 It will be a maze, Ing 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2066 I think we’re missing the wheel parts. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2067 Make it easy, they'll think we're smart. Make it hard, they'll think we're smart. Make it easy 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2068 Suppose we get lost? 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2069 This is why I prefer to work with non-Swedish designers. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2070 Think outside the box. Construct inside the box! 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2071 Lucky for you, guys like me don’t need to read directions. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2072 It's written in Squirrel 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2073 It says assembly is not available for online orders. 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2074 I'm telling you. It's better without the roof anyway. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2075 Let's just go straight to the cheese. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2076 Sure, I can build a better one. But who wants them beating a path to my door? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2077 No we shouldn't call the assembly service, last time they set it up it was a complete maze inside 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2078 After looking over the instructions, I think it will be easier if we just break up now. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2079 Stop obsessing about the cheese! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2080 Lets just call, ok? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2081 This whole DIY movement has gone way too far! 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2082 Pavlov’s dog sent specific instructions for rats 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2083 They finally built a better mouse trap. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2084 The NIH budget cuts are out of control. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2085 Wait, we can't read. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2086 Instead of cheese, let's put your cute sister at the end. 1.2810 0.04799 121 94 21 6
2087 Does this come with an opposable thumb? 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2088 Do you ever get the feeling that somehow, the universe is testing us? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2089 If we figure it out, it's going to be amazing! 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2090 It's not a trap. It's their new inclusion policy. 1.2810 0.04799 121 94 21 6
2091 You just had to buy our maze from Ikea, didn't you? 1.2810 0.04426 121 89 30 2
2092 No exit. Is it a trap? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2093 listen, i can fix it. make it easier. 1.2810 0.04579 121 95 20 6
2094 Why do you insist on doing these puzzles from IKEA? 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2095 'Just remember, I want a corner office," 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2096 We should have just paid for the home assembly. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2097 Darn it ! Another translation from Japanese. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2098 Just pretend it's a maze. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2099 It says there’s no cheese, just a Swedish meatball. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2100 Make it difficult. I'm on a diet. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2101 Let’s just eat it. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2102 They said the cheese is knowing you did a good job. 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2103 Wait ... you say you smell a rat? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2104 Whose bright idea was it to set it up ourselves? 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2105 No! Do not build a better mousetrap. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2106 No more IKEA mazes. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2107 Let's build a secret passage to the reward space. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2108 We can post this diagram on mousemaze.com so that everyone can get the cheese. 1.2810 0.04579 121 92 25 4
2109 It says to put a line on the floor so we can find our way out. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2110 I read all the directions and frankly I think we should stop here. The plan doesn’t seem to include an exit l 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2111 These instructions must have been translated by a freaking cat 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2112 Do you want to just get takeout? 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2113 Sorry, it says right here,'Cheese not included.' 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2114 Should be build the Trump version or the Obama version? 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2115 Can't you see we're digging our own graves here? 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
2116 It says that the cheese is sold seperately. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2117 I say let's think "back in the box." 1.2810 0.04426 121 89 30 2
2118 I got it at IKEA,its a mantrap. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2119 Dammit, the cheese is missing! 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2120 It says "scientific maze" but I think it's a trap. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2121 Why don’t we put the cheese right by the door? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2122 But my way is a straight shot at the cheese and we're done now. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2123 I think we just made a better mousetrap. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2124 These instructions are a maze to me 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2125 Can we never go to Ikea again? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2126 Please, you are telling me . . . you ate the cheeze? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2127 How will we get out. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2128 Beats me. Do you read Swedish? 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2129 I told you these blue prints were for a bed, not a maze! 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2130 Bad news. Cheese not included. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2131 I consider myself an accomplished visual learner, but these are just Swedish hieroglyphics. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2132 Why do we do this to ourselves when all we really want is a little cheese? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2133 I called them about the missing bolt but they told me to get lost 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2134 We should bank our savings from IKEA for marriage counseling. 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2135 So who really wants a better mousetrap? 1.2810 0.04654 121 93 23 5
2136 Sort of reminds me of Sartre. No exit. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2137 If we build it do you think that researchers will come? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2138 There must be another way to get cheese. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2139 "so when do we use the glue?" 1.2810 0.04871 121 92 24 5
2140 Forget this, I've looked thru the box again and no sign of any cheese! 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2141 Trust me, we'll catch that cat 1.2810 0.04426 121 94 22 5
2142 Do you want to call IKEA or should I? 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2143 And now I'm leaning toward the open plan, again. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2144 No, it's just pictures. See. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2145 I don't know about you, but I'm having trouble finding the motivation. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2146 I know I said it was all included but only the mouse trap came with cheese. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2147 Let's cut the maze crap and go open concept this time. 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2148 Let's throw in a curve! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2149 You'd think ALL parts included covered cheese. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2150 What if all this is just a test? 1.2810 0.04579 121 90 28 3
2151 I'm still not paying for assembly. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2152 But if we build it, isn't that bad for us? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2153 IT READS SHOULD TAKE 45 MINUTES TO COMPLETE . IS THAT WITH OR WITHOUT THUMBS??? 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2154 But what if you're a mouse who likes to get lost? 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2155 Memorize this blueprint and we’ll be golden. 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
2156 Some walls are missing in this set too! This house is going to look like another freaking maze. 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
2157 Sorry, I'm a Norwegian rat, not Swedish. I don't do Ikea. 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
2158 Damn Ikea ! 1.2797 0.04149 118 90 25 3
2159 In the pre-IKEA era, [underlined: building] the maze didn't use to be part of the experiment. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
2160 Thank you for coming to save the day, Mighty. 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
2161 Plan B is we go free range, like the chickens. 1.2797 0.05090 118 91 21 6
2162 What's a maze? 1.2797 0.04644 118 90 24 4
2163 How to build a better mouse tr.....what the hell? 1.2797 0.05231 118 92 19 7
2164 ​I just worry that it won't go with the Rembrandt. 1.2797 0.05501 118 94 15 9
2165 Seems like we’re one wall short of a cat trap! 1.2797 0.04565 118 90 24 4
2166 The actual one will be human sized 1.2797 0.04565 118 90 24 4
2167 Tell me again, how does this cure cancer? 1.2797 0.05367 118 93 17 8
2168 What a poet said about mice and men explains this plan. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
2169 Spoiler alert. It's cheese. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
2170 “I thought I'd never use my experimental psychology degree.” 1.2793 0.05456 111 87 17 7
2171 You start and I'll catch up. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
2172 It's a test. We're supposed to build our own maze. 1.2793 0.04818 111 83 25 3
2173 Forget it. Let's just make a maze. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
2174 Once we get started there’s no turning back. 1.2793 0.04556 111 84 24 3
2175 Lets forget the whole maze idea altogether and instead build Ratatouille a new kitchen! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2176 They forgot to include the cheese. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2177 This is the real test of intelligence. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2178 Just our luck. The instructions are in Chinese. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2179 My human thinks the ultimate variable ratio reward training is to have me build the maze without all of the necessary parts. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2180 Step 2 and I'm already lost. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2181 You know I don't read Swedish. 1.2773 0.04453 119 88 29 2
2182 Rats! We're missing a screw. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2183 The grant wasn't renewed. Its IKEA. 1.2773 0.03853 119 92 24 3
2184 Damn humans! They expect us to put this together without an Allen wrench? 1.2773 0.05588 119 96 13 10
2185 I hope you know Swedish. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2186 Some plan. It says right here, “Cheese NOT included!” 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2187 Something tells me we should look up “musfälla.” 1.2773 0.04687 119 92 22 5
2188 They say success is its own reward. Guess they ran out of cheese. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2189 It says here cheese must be purchased separately. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2190 I K E A must have funded this grant! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2191 Where should we put the Safe Room? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2192 Leave the maze, take the cheese. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2193 If you don't stop chanting 'Build That Wall', I'm going to separate you from your testicles at the border. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2194 This is worse than the swing set! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2195 NIH cut the research grant so now we have to build it AND run it. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2196 I bought it for the children 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2197 Are you sure you ordered the bookcase? 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2198 We’re missing the cheese. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2199 If we have directions, what's the point? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2200 Should we just get takeout? 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2201 It's supposed to be a-maz-ing! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2202 I don't think we are ever getting out of here. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2203 What do you mean you lost the receipt? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2204 Screw deferred gratification. Let's just eat the cheese. 1.2773 0.03025 119 93 24 2
2205 Screw the directions, I say we build a better mousetrap! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2206 It says here," Once assembled may accidentally cause serious injury or death"."Cheese not included." 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2207 I was thinking that we should leave it at this and go open plan. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2208 This is the last time I buy a maze kit from Ikea. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2209 This administration doesn't believe in funding science. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2210 Maybe the mice can do it better,but thanks to Ikea,we can do it faster! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2211 If we follow the directions step-by-step, we shouldn't get lost. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2212 Heh ! And here is where, on the full scale model, the electric shock goes. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2213 No, the maze is not necessary; but it does make the cheese taste better. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2214 Do you really know how to do it, or Google know? 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2215 Heck, I thought we'd get some cheese with this trap. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2216 So THIS is what the man in the white coat meant by “testing the construction of behavioral norms.” 1.2773 0.04611 119 94 19 6
2217 See, it says right here, ""Det är enkelt, högerkramat, vänsterlöst." 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2218 Let's quit while we're ahead 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2219 Death is not the end. 1.2773 0.04687 119 92 22 5
2220 No, Jeremy won’t be helping us. He helped with the better mouse trap. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2221 What the..., the instructions are in Swedish! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2222 Honestly, I think we’re better off just leaving it as is. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2223 All of this for some Swedish meatballs? 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2224 I don't know, does it feel like Stockholm syndrome to you? 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2225 Mom gave it to me for Christmas! 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2226 If we do the maze correctly, it's the layout of the Ikea store. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2227 They did a lousy job translating these instructions from gerbil. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2228 Building it ourselves kinda defeats the purpose. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2229 Let’s split up. 1.2773 0.04121 119 91 25 3
2230 If Big Pharma doesn’t kill us, these directions will. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2231 I told you we should have gone with the open concept maze! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2232 These IKEA instructions are in Swedish. I say we hide all the parts and put the cheese just inside the door. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2233 I think we can squeak by without the smoke alarms. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2234 This happens every time we buy stufffrom IKEA. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2235 This is asking a lot. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2236 I think you do pronounce the "K" and the "J" is like a "Y". 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2237 All of this for a piece of cheese? You've gotta be kidding! Let's just call Snack Hub. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2238 These directions are aMAZing 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2239 When we're done it should look just like IKEA. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2240 I'm just here for the cheese. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2241 Darn IKEA image directions are written in Chinese. 1.2773 0.04290 119 92 23 4
2242 How much extra will it cost to get someone to assemble it? 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2243 Now you won't have to ask for directions. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2244 Forget this crap, let's go eat all the meatballs 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2245 Oh, honey, let's run and leave this Scandinavian hell behind forever 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2246 I hope we can figure this out. I'm getting hungry. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2247 It's simple: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2248 It’s a death trap, it’s a suicide rap . 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2249 Now put it back in the box and we'll time how long it takes them to realize a screw is missing. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2250 Just get me when it’s time to argue about the backsplash. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2251 We need Taskrodent 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2252 When we complete this there is $90,000 of debt and a job at Whole Foods at the end. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2253 Honestly, these experiments just keep getting weirder. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2254 They haven't even built it and we came. 1.2773 0.05459 119 95 15 9
2255 Did I not say 'open concept' is just a fad? 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2256 I understand their floor plan labyrinth design but I prefer an open concept. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2257 How'd we get stuck with the scientists from IKEA? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2258 This way our kids will never leave the house. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2259 I say we bell the cat and stay put. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2260 Now that we know the plans, we can avoid another mouse trap. 1.2768 0.04432 112 82 29 1
2261 It may not be Disneyland, but at least it will be all ours. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
2262 I mean it! If we unionize, we can put an end to this "other duties as assigned" crap! 1.2768 0.04781 112 84 25 3
2263 I got it at IKEA. It'll be simple to put it together. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
2264 Hey,do you read IKEA? 1.2768 0.04781 112 84 25 3
2265 First things first, did you bring the LSD? 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
2266 I don't need the instructions. How many different ways to put it together can there be? 1.2762 0.04384 105 76 29 0
2267 But what did the dormouse say? 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
2268 It says 'Minotaur not included.' 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
2269 I think we're missing a Minotaur. 1.2759 0.04834 116 88 24 4
2270 Should we just hire someone off of TaskMouse? 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
2271 This is the last time we buy furniture from Ikea that's been designed by Christopher Nolan. 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
2272 The irony is that once we've built it we'll have nothing left to prove. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
2273 See? I told you open floor plans were on the way out! 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
2274 Don’t bother. ‘Cheese not included’. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2275 Amazing! What kind of dummies do they think we are? 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
2276 So far so good but what is a door ? My folks never had a door. 1.2750 0.04802 120 94 20 6
2277 It was supposed to come with cheese. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
2278 It says if any parts are missing not to return it to the store but call this 1-800 number instead. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2279 Sure we can put the maze together, but look it says cheeae not included. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2280 If only we had opposable thumbs. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2281 It's the IKEA maze kit" 1.2735 0.04721 117 91 21 5
2282 It's amazing! I thought we ordered maize, not maze. 1.2735 0.05023 117 93 17 7
2283 You read the English instructions, I’ll read the French. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2284 Let's build the easy maze. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2285 IKEA funded the study. 1.2735 0.04874 117 92 19 6
2286 I just hate these IKEA manuals ... 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2287 Now comes the hard part. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2288 It's from Ikea, if we assembly it right the lab puts the cheese 1.2735 0.04227 117 88 27 2
2289 What is an ektthorpe and just exactly how many hex wrenches does one mouse need? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2290 I think they are trying to mess with us. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2291 So, THIS is how you do it in Sweden? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2292 I'm done with Ikea. The instructions are in Swedish. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2293 Son, you can’t call Taskrabbit, you need to know the twists and turns of this project! 1.2735 0.03460 117 94 19 4
2294 Hey, it was your idea to buy a flip. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2295 The directions are in Korean again ! 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2296 Build it and they will come my ass!... we need cheese. 1.2735 0.05513 117 94 14 9
2297 Why on earth did you buy a maze from Ikea? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2298 Insert cheese where?! 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2299 Ha! Remember when they called this a "mouse hole"? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2300 Have you considered GPS? 1.2735 0.04481 117 87 28 2
2301 I think it’s Swedish for ‘experiment’. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2302 It says here cheese not included. What is this? Some sort of demented lab experiment? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2303 It would help if I knew where the cheese will be. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2304 If it were in French I'd be good, but Swedish? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2305 We better bring these instructions with us if we want to have a prayer of getting out! 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2306 I was thinking eggshell white for the interior. 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2307 I'm still not sure how we'll use the allen wrench 1.2727 0.04457 110 81 28 1
2308 We've got this - we don't need directions. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2309 Where's the exit? 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2310 It's how to build a better mousetrap...I say we pass. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2311 Yes, building it ourselves WILL skew the test results, but cheese is cheese. 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2312 They can't build a better mousetrap, so they want us to build a better maze? 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2313 Let’s return it, I prefer an open floor plan. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2314 Some assembly required? Easy to follow directions? I 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2315 My guess is that our test lost its government grant. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2316 Ugh, Ikea forgot two screws and the cheese. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2317 There's no cheese. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2318 All this for some stinky cheese. 1.2727 0.05763 110 89 12 9
2319 I don't need directions. I watched YouTube. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2320 We can always call Ikea as a last resort 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2321 Sure, we COULD just go get some cheese, but don't you think the process will be its own kind of reward? 1.2727 0.03962 110 86 21 3
2322 I know it’s silly and a lot of work, but it makes them so happy! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2323 Did you make sure that all of the parts were included? 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2324 There must be a trap somewhere 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2325 I guess it's the Ikea idea. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2326 We'd better get moving on this. Her first Cheese-Of-The Month shipment arrived today! 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2327 It came with meatballs rather than cheese. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2328 Do you know how to read Swedish? 1.2727 0.04550 110 84 23 3
2329 We'll corner the market. Ikea will never know what hit 'em! 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2330 If we just ditch the boards and the instructions, I wonder what that will tell them. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2331 Do you want to read the instructions or just jump to the cheese? 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2332 How did we get stuck with this job? 1.2727 0.05616 110 88 14 8
2333 I suspect we're in the control group. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2334 Check the parts list. Where’s the cheese? 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2335 It says: "How to build a better people trap" 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2336 You mean we have to supply the cheese? 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2337 This is harder to figure out than Brexit. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2338 You read 'em. I'm more visual. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2339 We aced all the mazes, building a better mousetrap will be even easier. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2340 Here’s an idea: open floor plan. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2341 The object here is not to be left with one screw. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2342 It appears we're one board short of a full kit. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2343 Why don't we just skip all these Ikea instructions and just eat the cheese? 1.2727 0.04729 110 85 21 4
2344 If we build a better maze, the world won’t beat be a path to our door. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2345 Did you get this from Ikea? 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2346 Once you get into it, it's easy 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2347 This is the last time we're buying anything from Ikea 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2348 It was on sale -- Mexico paid for the wall. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2349 This is the start of a rat race, Tom. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2350 Forget this, let's go get a beer. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2351 Let’s slow down, this isn’t a rat race. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2352 There’s no cheese. Definitely not a trap! 1.2727 0.05070 110 87 17 6
2353 Nah - too obvious. 1.2727 0.04550 110 84 23 3
2354 When I signed up for this job I didn't think they'd make me build the maze too. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2355 It’s IKEA, let’s just use poison. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2356 Do you understand these maze instructions? I'm lost. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2357 "Yes, the 3D versions now come with instructions." 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2358 Uh, opposable thumbs and a wrench? No, I don’t, do you? 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2359 On second thought, I prefer the simple life 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2360 Experiments were much more fun before the genetic engineering. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2361 I still think we should call a Task Rabbit. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2362 Let's call IKEA right now! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2363 Forget it, I'll just buy the cheese. 1.2727 0.05763 110 89 12 9
2364 If we finish it, they'll give us a lingonberry. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2365 We're mice. We're known for poor eyesight. This might be a trap. 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2366 We're lost! There's no exit 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2367 I have to say, the staff cuts at this lab have really gotten out of hand. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2368 Now when it's your turn, remember to make it look difficult. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2369 Maybe we can change the angles on this a bit and allow for an open kitchen layout. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2370 Let’s make it look really difficult and they’ll publish some stupid report. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2371 I'm sure it'll be very nice - I only wish we had a view of Central Park. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2372 Personally, I prefer an open floor-plan. 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
2373 Screw this. I've got some aged cheddar back at my place. Let's go get hammered... 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2374 I give up. You want to order cheese carryout? 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2375 Screw it. Let's just go with open concept. 1.2719 0.04542 114 85 27 2
2376 And the voice said, "If you build it, cheese will come." 1.2719 0.04871 114 89 20 5
2377 Don't worry. The guy in the white coat swore this is how they make cheese. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2378 I'd be more motivated if there was food at the end of this. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2379 Or we could just go eat meatballs. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2380 I don't see any cheese in the instructions 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2381 It converts to a bunk bed when they are old enough to find the exit. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2382 Now that the shiplap has been taken down, our open concept design will mean a quick flip, and should make us stacks and stacks of cheddar. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2383 As long as people can see us thinking outside the box, the execution is irrelevant. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2384 Screw the maze idea. If we go straight up, we'll be a towering success! 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2385 Who the hell is Paulo Freire? 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
2386 They never ask what WE want. Let's go with an open office plan. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2387 TopoKea 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2388 “Sometimes I feel like I’m my own worst enemy“ 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2389 It needs a catdoor 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2390 Funny, I just got a craving for swedish meatballs. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2391 They never should have awarded that government research project to IKEA. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2392 "I think they're f **king with us." 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2393 Looks like the cheese is sold separately. 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
2394 I think if we follow these instructions, we might be able to better trap ourselves. 1.2719 0.05612 114 92 13 9
2395 I'll get the cheese while you finish the maze. 1.2719 0.04455 114 92 16 6
2396 I could never understand why all the parts have Swedish names. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2397 We'll be the big cheese if we can pull this off. 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
2398 Where can you get a drink around here. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2399 We may be the wrong choice to build a better mousetrap. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2400 I know, I'm sorry, but their Swedish meatballs are so good. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2401 My entry for MOMA. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2402 Illustrations. Not a single God-damned written word! 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2403 Screw these budget cuts. What happened to the Skinner Box? 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2404 I’m not going to include a bathroom in our new house since we piss and shit constantly. 1.2719 0.05749 114 93 11 10
2405 Forget it; let’s build a maze! 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2406 Ikea built a better mouse trap! We'll be so busy building this thing we won't have time for cheese. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2407 We're screwed, it's a trap! 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2408 I’m just tired of open floor plans. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2409 Trust me, it 's cats' play. 1.2719 0.04871 114 87 23 4
2410 Tell me again...why will they put the cheese in there? 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2411 There's sure to be an online video if we run into trouble. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2412 It's in Swedish...I can't read it. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2413 It was a good plan Jerry but it says it right here, cheese not included. 1.2719 0.04542 114 87 24 3
2414 Gracie. It's going to be amazing! 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2415 The satisfaction of putting it together yourself makes you to forget that the economy has left you with no other path. 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2416 Fuck it. Let's go out to eat 1.2719 0.05472 114 91 15 8
2417 Why so complicated, can’t we just get a cheeseboard? 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2418 This new game a mazes me! 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
2419 It's an experiment. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
2420 Reward? I’m guessing Swedish meatballs, just like the human one. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2421 I know. I’m just hoping the ‘budget’ they keep cutting is a type of cheese. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2422 It says here we are supposed to build a cognitive map of IKEA 1.2703 0.04605 111 83 26 2
2423 It's worker abuse. First we gotta build it and then how to get out of it. Only a rat's brain could figure this out. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2424 Whoever wrote these instructions has a few shrews loose. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2425 It's a map of the store. 1.2703 0.04779 111 84 24 3
2426 Forget it. We'll squat next door. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2427 I'd rather get lost in Yonkers. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2428 I love the trap door idea - so Wicked. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
2429 I wonder what ‘Måz’ even means in Swedish? 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2430 Forget the maze; let's put up condos. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2431 I don’t understand, I thought the humans were supposed to build this. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
2432 Screw it. Let's hit the open road! 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
2433 So where's the Västerbottensost.? 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2434 You know, we could just build a regular apartment instead. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2435 Is this someone's Ikea of a cruel joke? 1.2696 0.04674 115 92 17 6
2436 Remember don't leave too fast, they'll get upset and might dissect you to see how you did it. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2437 Maybe IKEA wasn’t the best choice 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
2438 We're never buying another thing from IKEA. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2439 The hours are long, but they have cheese at the cocktail parties. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
2440 They must think we don't know what cheese smells like? 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2441 Building this maze is going to take longer than it did for us to find the exit to the store. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2442 Don’t worry about it. I wintered last year in an IKEA. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2443 Still qualifies for rent control. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2444 I think our kit is missing the cheese! So, really, what's the point? 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
2445 If we figure this out, I'll be amazed. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
2446 It says here the cheese is sold separately. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
2447 Gnawsome! 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
2448 It said it came with cheese! I don't see any cheese! 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
2449 If I hear "open concept" one more time.... 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2450 Whadda’ya think? Maze or 2-bedroom condo? 1.2679 0.04481 112 86 23 3
2451 I told you if we ordered Amazon Prime the Drone would have delivered it fully assemble in a Maze 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2452 Why don't we just put the cheese outside the box? 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2453 Digging our own graves would be more noble than this. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2454 So...cheese break? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2455 We must build that which will destroy us. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2456 It doesn’t make sense to me either but I hear there’s cheese at the end, so... 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2457 We don't have opposable thumbs! What were you thinking?! 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2458 Female mice would ask for directions. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2459 The cheese is sold separately. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2460 I can't read Swedish; can you? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2461 Have you seen the block of cheese? 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2462 It’s about time they gave up on that ‘better mousetrap’ chimera. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2463 You had to get it at Isqueaka, didn't you? 1.2679 0.02367 112 92 17 3
2464 But we don't have a Phillip's head. The cat got Phil last week. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2465 Used to be that all we had to do to get the cheese is run through it. These NIH cutbacks are hurting all of us. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2466 And you said the running wheel would be a waste of our time... 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2467 They’re trained to give us cheese when we finish the maze. 1.2679 0.04203 112 92 14 6
2468 I am glad we are thinking outside the box to figure out this 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2469 I'm completely lost at the moment. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2470 How 'bout you build the maze, and I'll plant the corn? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2471 Okay, that's the last time we shop at IKEA. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2472 It says it's a test of our relationship. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2473 No I don't speak Swedish....do you? 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2474 Believe me: I don’t see how this lab-test could lead to any breakthrough in couple relationships with such a clumsy and incompetent partner like you. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2475 I am concerned about the cat door location. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2476 It's directions for how to build a better mousetrap. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2477 I wasn’t feeling challenged enough at work. 1.2679 0.04390 112 88 20 4
2478 To beat it first you gotta know how they’re made. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2479 Building a better mousetrap isn’t so easy after all. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2480 Does Google translate from rat to mouse? 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2481 "It wouldn't be called sweat equity if it was easy to assemble." 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2482 Maze? These directions are a fucking maze! 1.2679 0.05526 112 90 14 8
2483 When we go full scale, first we'll send in the grad students. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2484 How hard can it be? They always include an allan key! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2485 Whose idea was it to run a DIY maze? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2486 I feel like these experiments are getting pretty ridiculous. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2487 They will put more cheese out if you pretend you can not smell it. The best cheese goes to the slowest mice. 1.2679 0.04657 112 87 21 4
2488 Let's forget this, and go straight for the cheese. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2489 Why are the directions just pictures of different cats? 1.2679 0.04827 112 88 19 5
2490 I'd rather gnaw through a fire hydrant than put this thing together. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2491 So I guess now’s not the best time to tell you I slept with your wife? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2492 I told you we should've gotten the BJÖRKSNÄS instead. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2493 This is one crazy looking bookcase. What’d IKEA name this one? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2494 The cat said this would turn out to be amazing! 1.2679 0.04203 112 87 22 3
2495 Looks like this maze is modeled after the new 1040 form. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2496 Can you believe it? They've sent us the wrong screws again! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2497 The hazard of this project would be how to get out. 1.2679 0.04827 112 88 19 5
2498 Cheese not included? I hate Ikea. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2499 Better for whom? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2500 The cheese tastes better this way. I promise. 1.2679 0.04007 112 86 24 2
2501 Musfälla? ... these Ikea instructions always have the strangest sounding words. (mouse trap) 1.2679 0.05526 112 90 14 8
2502 In Swedish, it's pronounced Eke-a 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2503 Why don't we just put the cheese at the entrance and end this charade? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2504 Course design is where the big cheese is. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2505 Are you certain you clicked the option to include the cheese?" 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2506 Let's dumb it down 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2507 What part of 'Don't get it from Ikea' isn't clear? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2508 IKEA sent it. Apparently we’re now beta test rats. 1.2679 0.04203 112 87 22 3
2509 Last time we buy anything at IKEA! 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2510 If we make it difficult, it means more cheese for us. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2511 Rats! We forgot the cheese. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2512 It's hard to put into words. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2513 Now remember where we leave the cheese! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2514 They provided the hex wrench, but do we have a screwdriver? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2515 IKEA got it! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2516 Let’s just run it as is, okay? 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2517 It's supposed to be a 1 floor Victorian but last time I tried it turned into a maze. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2518 Ok, I'll marry you if we can assemble this IKEA maze without bloodshed. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2519 You're really sure that if we build it, cheese will come? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2520 I said no IKEA. But no, you had to have a Swedish maze! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2521 Let's create a new rat race? 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2522 Remember, discipline equals freedom. 1.2679 0.04570 112 86 23 3
2523 We can blame IKEA for starting a pet product line. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2524 Unfortunately, the cheese is not included. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2525 L thought you said this maze from mIceKEA would be so simple to put together, that even a human could do it! 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2526 Maybe we should just go with an open concept. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2527 Listen, Ted, I have no interest in carpentry either, that's kinda why I'm in finance. But you heard the lab tech, "no maze, no cheese"... so will you please make like Algernon and find me Panel A and the 3/4-inch screws? 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2528 I really think this will be more motivating than that hamster wheel in the basement. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2529 The faster we do it, the faster we're outta there. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2530 It clearly says, 'cheese not included.' 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2531 I can't read it. It's in Swedish. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2532 But I don't like cheese. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2533 Maybe we'll find Swedish Meatballs at the end. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2534 Just our bad luck to end up at the IKEA research lab.... 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2535 It looks like they forgot to include the Västerbotten. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2536 If we screw this up, there’s no way out 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2537 It says we get the cheese when we finish the maze. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2538 I have no clue what I'm doing. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2539 They are very thorough. They even included a block of cheese. It was very tasty. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2540 I think Ikea put the wrong directions in the box. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2541 Not exactly what I had in mind when you said a bonding experience. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2542 Well, I say it's a maze, and I say the hell with it. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2543 To be honest, I'd rather just find my way out of an IKEA. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2544 Let's think out of the box. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2545 These Ikea flatboxes look simple but really its a two-mouse project. 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2546 Does the institutional review board know we're being forced to construct our own maze? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2547 We are building a people trap that I got at IKEA 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2548 You know, when we are done with this they are going to make us find our cheese. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2549 No, I told you twice already, the cheese goes in last. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2550 The fine print says cheese not included! 1.2679 0.04657 112 87 21 4
2551 What the hell is a "carnubenflugen"? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2552 We got the Cheese not included version? 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2553 This doesn’t look as easy as the guy at Ikea said would be! 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2554 Let’s do the kitchen first. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2555 It's called a Swedish maze. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2556 How about a sunroom for a change? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2557 I've had it - Let's go eat some cheese! 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2558 Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about building a better mouse trap. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2559 Apparently, cheese is not included... 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2560 They expect us to BUILD this thing, too? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2561 You read? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2562 Why are we building this again? 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2563 In architecture school they said there should be back door. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2564 Why do you always try to make your life more difficult? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2565 Just what do you mean by "read the directions first?" ​ 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2566 Funding for this research project has been provided by IKEA International. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2567 They recommend an Ikea showroom layout. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2568 Forget the maze. I can’t figure out the instructions. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2569 Working for this company has been nothing but a rat race. They work us 24/7, the work space is nothing but a maze and they only feed us cheese that it has holes in it." 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2570 What do you think about an open floor plan 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2571 Wasn’t there supposed to be a big hunk of cheese with this? 1.2679 0.04203 112 82 30 0
2572 It's a maze to test our intelligence. If we keep these plans, it'll be easy to negotiate. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2573 You're the one on adderall ! " 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2574 All this work for a lousy piece of cheese? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2575 Don't worry, Harold. If we can't successfully assemble this, we can just run for office. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2576 It's bring Your Victim to Work Week. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2577 I think it's the lingonberry sauce that brings their Swedish meatballs to life. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2578 Freakin IKEA! 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2579 What say we just build a better mouse trap. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2580 Any chance a ‘No Cats Allowed’ sign would be sufficient? 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2581 This would be so much easier if I could read Swedish. 1.2679 0.04481 112 86 23 3
2582 Life was easier before they cut the research budget. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2583 I'm in the IKEA study. 1.2679 0.04481 112 91 15 6
2584 I told you to read the box! The block of cheese is sold separately! 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2585 It will be easier if we just watch the video on tube. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2586 Ikea said it was easy 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2587 I just hate Ikea. 1.2679 0.04909 112 88 19 5
2588 Ikea? I thought this was an animal cruelty free lab. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2589 I'm amazed by its simplicity 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2590 I have an idea. Let's skip the maze and go straight for the cheese. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2591 Oh, I can build it all right. The trick is getting back out. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2592 When stuff starts arriving from Ikea, it's pretty clear the lab is suffering budget-cuts. 1.2679 0.04743 112 90 16 6
2593 Finally, we get to make the rules! 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2594 'Cheese not included' ? WTF?! 1.2679 0.05379 112 89 16 7
2595 I don't think the cheese is included. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2596 I thought it would include the cheese. 1.2679 0.04203 112 87 22 3
2597 IKEA have the most endearing names for their furniture. 'Mousetrap'. How quaint! 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2598 Seems like a hell of a lot of work for a piece of cheese. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2599 Didn't we do this one a couple of weeks ago? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2600 That’s the beauty of IKEA...there’s always a hack. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
2601 What do you wanna bet there's still only one piece of cheese at the end? 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2602 Screw this. Let’s wing it. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2603 On second thought, let's have the meatballs before we start, so we're not hungry and cranky halfway through. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2604 Let’s build it so we head straight for the cheese! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2605 Thank goodness we're in the group that was given the instructions. NOT! 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2606 For the last time, no, we are not getting drunk before doing this. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2607 The ad implied it came with cheese. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2608 We'll put a "back door" here, in case we get lost. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2609 That's what we get from the researchers' shopping at Ikea. 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
2610 This is Mickey Mouse compared to that bookshelf. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
2611 According to this we're missing some bolts, as well as the cheese. 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2612 Trump really cut the science budget. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2613 If we start building from the inside, we'll never make it out. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
2614 Let’s think outside the box and not build this ... 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2615 If we make the walls all parallel, we can run straight through in record time. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2616 Why exactly are we trying to build a better mousetrap? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2617 Are they kidding? This is the better mousetrap? 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2618 If we build it, doughnuts will come. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2619 If we can't figure it out now how will we figure it out later? 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2620 Why does this feel like a trap? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2621 When it's built they will want us to find our way out! 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2622 We can go back to the open design plan. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
2623 Have you looked at these Mickey Mouse blue prints? 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
2624 This always happens when you buy from IKEA. 1.2636 0.04413 110 82 27 1
2625 Just accept it. If it's from China there will be missing parts. 1.2636 0.04599 110 83 25 2
2626 Call me crazy, but I want this to be a metaphor for human life. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2627 It's amazing that they let us set it up ourselves! 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2628 Of course it’s big enough! What should we put at the end to motivate the giants?” 1.2636 0.04507 110 85 22 3
2629 Cheese is not included? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2630 You know how I feel about walls. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2631 Maybe it was meant just for rats. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2632 Let's ask the cat for help. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2633 Don't think of it as a budget cut, Carl. Think of it as an opportunity! 1.2636 0.05582 110 89 13 8
2634 I thought you said we were going to build a better mousetrap. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2635 It's a plan for building a better cat trap! 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2636 These Ikea mazes are always more difficult to assemble than you think. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2637 Did they not say "cheese included"? 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2638 It’s an Ikea maze. 1.2636 0.04599 110 83 25 2
2639 And you said ... Build a better mousetrap. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2640 Sometimes it feels like Ikea is experimenting on us. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2641 how Do we know this isn’t a better mousetrap 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2642 Go ahead, amaze me! 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2643 We can change the whole equation by building a labyrinth so everyone can get in and out and leave them with no data. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2644 This is how we’ll get our steps in. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2645 We’ll make it look even tougher. After all, those humans certainly love a good rat race, don’t they .....? 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2646 It says so right on the box: "Cheese not included." 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2647 I'm sensing some irony here. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2648 Everything is here except for the cheese. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2649 These home meal kits are complicated. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2650 And in the center we place a copy of "Who Moved My Cheese?". 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2651 Where does the cheese go? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2652 I’m waiting for Pavlov to finally ring the bell 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2653 Honestly, I'd be fine with an open-concept maze. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2654 No no. We're supposed to find the cheese, not eat it. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2655 häpnadsväckande a-mazing 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2656 Humoring Dr. Pavlov gets more tedious with each passing academic year 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2657 It's a trap, but not a better trap. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2658 I hate it when you shop at Ikea! 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2659 It came with everything but the cheese. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2660 SEE, no inclusion, no exclusion! 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2661 Don’t worry. There’s always a screw missing. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2662 I can't believe I let you talk me into getting a maze at Ikea. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2663 Consider this a promotion. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2664 This is the last time we buy a maze at Ikea 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
2665 The voice said – if you build it, cheese will come. 1.2636 0.04599 110 83 25 2
2666 Yes we’re exhausted. But think how much faster we’ll find our food! 1.2636 0.04120 110 88 18 4
2667 Hmm, I think we may have been duped. There is no cheese on this parts list. 1.2636 0.04413 110 82 27 1
2668 Crud,they didn't pack the cheese. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2669 Hey the piece of cheese is missing, have you seen it? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2670 I knew it! Cheese isn't included. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2671 I have a cousin in Stockholm, we could ask him what an "urbster' is. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2672 If this is Ikea's version of building a better mouse trap, then we have nothing to worry about! 1.2636 0.04120 110 83 26 1
2673 To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson... 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2674 Only 39% of the humans have been able to complete the maze. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2675 I say we start from the middle and build our way out. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2676 We're lucky IKEA tells it all in pictures. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2677 It is even easier to get lost now. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2678 Frankly, I prefer an open floor plan. 1.2636 0.04599 110 83 25 2
2679 Just eleven more steps and we'll have our own IKEA. 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
2680 Das Rathaus ist dumm. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2681 Want to break for some Swedish cheese? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2682 Who moved my cheese? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2683 I know it said "some assembly required" but cheesus christ this is insane! 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2684 Should we do an open-office concept this time? 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2685 I am so done with Ikea. 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
2686 Why is the cheese always sold separately? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2687 "I prefer an open floor plan. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2688 This is the last time we're shopping at Ikea. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2689 You were a Boy Scout.I was a math major. We can do this ! 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2690 Why do they always leave out some small, but crucial, piece of hardware? 1.2636 0.05430 110 88 15 7
2691 IKEA says nobody stirring can follow these instructions..not even a mouse. Suzi Rines Duxbury MA 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2692 We can build a better mousetrap. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2693 I wish the directions for this IKEA maze had some words. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2694 Yes. And we have to make our own cheese when we’re finished. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2695 It'll pretty much look like an IKEA when finished. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2696 Does this one have a happy ending? 1.2636 0.03693 110 86 22 2
2697 Ok eddy, we’ve gone through the entire box...........where’s the cheese? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2698 I couldn't resist. Ikea had it on sale. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2699 Let me show you how to do it son. Just let go of the instructions, watch me, and don't say a word 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2700 In the short term, it limits our carbon foot print. In the long term, it could kill the cat and save our world. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2701 And I thought the maze was difficult! 1.2636 0.05032 110 88 16 6
2702 This instruction manual is more complicated than most mazes! 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2703 After they find the cheese no mouse is going to care that we deviated from standard maze theory. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2704 Did you know the cheese wasn't included when you ordered it? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2705 All this to build a better mouse trap? 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2706 This is the easy part. The confusion comes later. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2707 Let’s build a maze with no way out and put the lab humans in their to study their levels of frustration. 1.2636 0.04507 110 85 22 3
2708 Seriously, Gary: why do we keep doing this to ourselves? 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2709 I don't see where we're supposed to put the cheese. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2710 You’ve watched the Italian Job too many times! 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2711 You have to start thinking outside the box. 1.2636 0.04599 110 83 25 2
2712 Let’s just break-up - it’s quicker. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2713 Talk about inventing a new mousetrap. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2714 Did the instructions come with cheese or do we have to purchase that ourselves? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2715 I hate when the directions only have pictures. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
2716 I know you want to build a complicated maze- just make sure we leave room for the hot cheese fountain. 1.2636 0.05114 110 86 19 5
2717 I never did like IKEA ,Martha . 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2718 I hear they’re replacing the cheese with meatballs, too. 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
2719 A maze? Not the way we're gonna build it. 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
2720 Swedish diagrams don't translate to Mouse... 1.2636