Contest #665


Cartoon

665

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “How about some help carrying the groceries?”
  2. “Once I gave him a name I didn’t have the heart to eat him.”
  3. “Well, that's embarrassing. How long has it been there?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-06-02T21:25:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-06-23T21:27:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-06-17T21:25:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued June 24, 2019
Number of captions 6315
Number of responses 1501739
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Lunch is on me. 2.5183 0.00409 25200 2183 7784 15232
1 Dinner's on ME. 2.2585 0.00534 19463 3538 7356 8565
2 Dinner’s on me tonight. 2.1747 0.00632 14294 3045 5707 5542
3 He’s telling his friends it’s not deep. So be patient. 2.1645 0.00562 19271 4575 6960 7735
4 I didn't know what you were serving, so I brought white. 2.0975 0.00638 15916 4490 5398 6028
5 Fresh? Sir, I assure you these were walking on land this morning. 2.0654 0.00675 13820 3925 5066 4829
6 A back massage and then dinner. What's not to like? 2.0404 0.00600 17205 5019 6483 5701
7 It’s like a good wine. You let it breathe before consuming it. 2.0217 0.00647 14856 4462 5612 4782
8 I brought dinner. 2.0124 0.00606 15752 4484 6597 4670
9 It's carryout. 1.9885 0.00678 13073 4007 5209 3857
10 Off Coney Island. There's thousands of them. 1.9805 0.00712 11921 3719 4715 3487
11 I’m letting him sunburn a bit more, I prefer extra crispy. 1.9802 0.00654 14157 4455 5536 4166
12 Once I gave him a name I didn’t have the heart to eat him. 1.9516 0.00693 12651 4178 4912 3561
13 Eat a guy and you'll be full. Use him as bait and we'll all be full. 1.9483 0.00694 13229 4583 4750 3896
14 I got us a politician. There is no backbone ! 1.9447 0.01016 6732 2533 2038 2161
15 I used to feel sorry for them, but this one is wearing a MAGA hat. 1.9346 0.00851 9890 3883 2771 3236
16 I swear, it is like the universe does not want me to stay vegan. 1.9323 0.00805 9717 3411 3553 2753
17 Lucky for him this is the last thing on his bucket list. 1.9239 0.00729 11759 4194 4277 3285
18 You want the other half? 1.8955 0.00780 9927 3568 3828 2531
19 It's part of this whole shore-to-table thing. 1.8952 0.01048 5651 2079 2085 1487
20 He has a name, Dad. It's Greg. And I love him. 1.8950 0.00813 10094 3975 3214 2905
21 When I get hungry, or he realizes I'm not a dolphin, whichever comes first! 1.8942 0.00902 7436 2682 2859 1895
22 And I suppose you've never played with your food. 1.8617 0.00778 9557 3520 3838 2197
23 He’s paying an arm and a leg for the ride. 1.8537 0.00885 7956 3145 2830 1981
24 He' s my emotional support animal. 1.8518 0.00808 9738 3957 3278 2501
25 If you liked our food delivery service, please give me 5 stars. 1.8496 0.00781 10017 3975 3593 2448
26 My treat. 1.8466 0.01595 2340 903 893 544
27 I was told we had to bring our own lunch. 1.8284 0.00734 10222 3867 4251 2103
28 So we each grab a leg and make a wish. 1.8279 0.00994 6503 2746 2130 1627
29 How did these things ever make it to the top of the food chain? 1.8074 0.01408 3183 1369 1058 756
30 Professional courtesy....he’s a lawyer. 1.8037 0.00838 9139 4016 2903 2218
31 I'm letting him take one last selfie. 1.8008 0.00818 8829 3671 3250 1908
32 Jump up and yell, 'I'm that goldfish you flushed!' And then we'll eat him." 1.7975 0.01035 6137 2764 1850 1522
33 Yes, I KNOW I'm holding up dinner. 1.7816 0.00971 6428 2804 2224 1400
34 Last time I ate one this stupid, I was sick for a week. 1.7801 0.00824 9028 3997 3026 2004
35 He's never seen the movie 1.7695 0.00976 6170 2687 2218 1265
36 Well, that's embarrassing. How long has it been there? 1.7610 0.01046 5565 2517 1861 1187
37 Seems only fair , I ate his surfboard. 1.7504 0.01113 4591 2021 1695 875
38 This is why they think most shark attacks occur in only three feet of water. 1.7490 0.01073 5176 2363 1752 1061
39 You go ahead, Frank. SPF 30 gives me heartburn. 1.7482 0.01057 5007 2205 1864 938
40 ‘Hold off a bit. He’s bragging about being “king of the sandbar” to four guys in backwards ball caps.’ 1.7434 0.00955 6438 2945 2207 1286
41 Another Darwin Award winner. 1.7245 0.01161 4625 2255 1389 981
42 Found him in the shallow end of gene pool. 1.7210 0.01190 4408 2162 1314 932
43 He’s locally sourced, and most importantly, cage free! 1.7207 0.01476 2764 1333 874 557
44 Soon, he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.7193 0.00872 7803 3730 2538 1535
45 I just can’t do it without the theme music.” 1.7053 0.01141 4344 2056 1512 776
46 Remember when Mom read us that story about how the fox tricked the Gingerbread Man and you said nobody could be that stupid? 1.7025 0.01377 3045 1467 1017 561
47 When I go low, you go high. 1.7003 0.01605 2272 1107 739 426
48 Just be patient. He’s calling his friends. 1.6990 0.00994 5442 2537 2009 896
49 Oh, did you want me to pick up something for you, too? 1.6816 0.00897 6577 3131 2413 1033
50 I love a well-balanced meal, don't you? 1.6710 0.01128 4413 2211 1446 756
51 Let's wait another sec, . . . he still thinks he's on his buddy's shoulders. 1.6679 0.03200 542 270 182 90
52 Your order is ready, sir... 1.6678 0.01919 1466 720 513 233
53 Luckily the dumb ones taste just as good. 1.6656 0.01195 3881 1947 1287 647
54 First, I gain their trust. 1.6638 0.01085 4515 2214 1605 696
55 Trust me. This makes it easier to get all the others into the water. 1.6632 0.01088 4412 2146 1606 660
56 He still thinks I'm Flipper. 1.6577 0.02035 1370 703 433 234
57 Hey, Sam, I’d like you to meet my chum. 1.6561 0.01084 4926 2585 1459 882
58 On one hand, we have a reputation to uphold. On the other hand, this shiatsu foot massage really feels good. 1.6543 0.01547 2181 1076 783 322
59 Do you want to see what a big surprise looks like? 1.6466 0.02307 1061 553 330 178
60 The guy at the bait shop said this could get us a couple lifeguards. 1.6407 0.01467 2622 1393 787 442
61 To be honest, I'm thinking of giving up this Uber thing. 1.6321 0.01606 2207 1183 653 371
62 How about some help carrying the groceries? 1.6273 0.01172 3823 1987 1275 560
63 He ain’t heavy, he’s my breakfast. 1.6272 0.01783 1835 1007 506 322
64 I ordered him sunny side up. 1.6263 0.01740 1817 966 564 287
65 Fine, but walking him is your responsibility. 1.6239 0.01442 2587 1365 830 392
66 Watch this. I'm going to flip it up and catch it in my mouth. 1.6166 0.01248 3461 1850 1088 523
67 When he says "Marco," they all say "Polo,' and then we eat. 1.6083 0.01605 2211 1232 613 366
68 He thinks I'm Flipper, who's Flipper? 1.6072 0.01199 3887 2150 1114 623
69 I found this mannequin in some ocean trash. It allows me to get closer to shore without alarming my lunch. 1.5966 0.02604 813 454 233 126
70 I still don't see why the dolphins get such a kick out of this. 1.5923 0.01521 2168 1166 720 282
71 Isn't it time we told him he's adopted? 1.5921 0.01463 2618 1496 702 420
72 Let’s split the Bill 1.5900 0.01302 3107 1719 944 444
73 So much for them having a bigger brain. 1.5836 0.01397 2733 1534 803 396
74 Guess who's coming to dinner? 1.5822 0.02692 742 419 214 109
75 Excuse me. Do you have any Grey Poupon? 1.5807 0.01520 2368 1352 657 359
76 One on the fin is worth two on the beach. 1.5794 0.01907 1410 785 434 191
77 Ability to delay gratification correlates with higher SAT scores and greater success later in life. 1.5790 0.01917 1430 803 426 201
78 Are you the one who ordered takeout? 1.5786 0.01273 2983 1614 1012 357
79 Shhh! He's looking out for sharks. 1.5785 0.01454 2420 1346 749 325
80 I’m a certified support animal. 1.5769 0.02205 1106 630 314 162
81 OK, you call it - Heads or Tails? 1.5755 0.01375 2770 1570 809 391
82 You're more likely to be struck by lightning than be stepped on by a human. 1.5753 0.01606 2119 1220 579 320
83 Professional courtesy. Personal injury lawyer. 1.5741 0.02377 951 544 268 139
84 I raise my own. It’s the only way to know they’re organic. 1.5740 0.01441 2500 1413 741 346
85 Can we keep him, Mom? Please? 1.5739 0.01475 2347 1312 723 312
86 This one's a decoy. We get the real ones when they come out to rescue it. 1.5729 0.01745 1700 958 510 232
87 Shhh...he thinks I'm a dolphin. 1.5724 0.01262 3024 1665 991 367
88 I would have eaten him, but I'm finally getting WiFi. 1.5723 0.01431 2593 1480 742 371
89 It's from that new take-out place under the pier. 1.5710 0.01719 1725 968 529 228
90 Want the other half? 1.5686 0.03821 357 203 105 49
91 Shall we just split an order? 1.5675 0.01387 2520 1391 828 301
92 I thought he was a seal, he thought I was a surf board. 1.5672 0.01412 2530 1422 781 327
93 It's Hilarious. He thinks I'm a dolphin. 1.5659 0.01438 2405 1346 757 302
94 It seems rude to interrupt while he’s on the phone. 1.5649 0.01662 1880 1075 548 257
95 I just think it's a bad idea to eat something this stupid. 1.5627 0.01516 2257 1302 643 312
96 It's Donald. We don't eat our own. 1.5611 0.02321 1080 655 244 181
97 Definitely a keeper! I'd guess about a 180 pounder. 1.5549 0.01761 1631 937 483 211
98 If he's gonna have kids as smart as he is, it makes more sense to release him. 1.5540 0.01820 1583 925 439 219
99 I ordered wings but they gave me legs instead. 1.5471 0.01761 1656 970 466 220
100 Heard it’s Trump ... we could become hero’s! 1.5404 0.01925 1558 972 330 256
101 I can't go anywhere without a snack 1.5390 0.01944 1245 712 395 138
102 I'm going to be on the evening news. 1.5378 0.01683 1748 1023 510 215
103 wait till he finds out I'm not his surf board. 1.5363 0.01698 1667 976 492 199
104 I'm seventy years old and I'll play with my food if I want to. 1.5349 0.01818 1535 912 425 198
105 I brought you a snack. 1.5343 0.02864 627 375 169 83
106 He had a standing reservation for dinner. 1.5320 0.01864 1483 891 395 197
107 The weirdest part is that the water above me keeps randomly getting warm 1.5310 0.02013 1324 811 323 190
108 I decided to go with carry out. 1.5292 0.01698 1591 923 497 171
109 We have a deal. He tells everyone else it’s safe and I don’t eat him. 1.5272 0.02191 994 588 289 116
110 I’m trying to eat a more balanced diet. 1.5270 0.01830 1410 824 429 157
111 No thanks. I brought my lunch. 1.5245 0.02091 1083 636 326 121
112 It's a new ridesharing company I started. I call it Scuber." 1.5228 0.02020 1251 760 328 163
113 Yeah it's a Great White 1.5219 0.02640 709 428 193 88
114 Millennials act so entitled. 1.5209 0.01931 1363 829 358 176
115 Of all my anger management exercises, this one is the most difficult 1.5169 0.01999 1184 704 348 132
116 I read that its best to let meat rest before consuming it. 1.5157 0.02115 1049 623 311 115
117 He's my therapy human. 1.5153 0.02062 1176 717 312 147
118 Of course I’ll eat him, but in the meantime I just love the foot massage. 1.5136 0.01956 1217 723 363 131
119 Sometimes it's just too easy. 1.5135 0.02012 1221 743 329 149
120 Honey, I brought dinner! 1.5131 0.01948 1218 727 359 131
121 He’s a rescue. 1.5112 0.02039 1115 664 332 119
122 Did you already eat yours? 1.5098 0.02062 1124 679 317 128
123 I am the fin beneath his things. 1.5092 0.02478 874 554 195 125
124 Don’t bite.My back has never felt so good. 1.5072 0.02010 1116 662 342 112
125 I liked it better when they were afraid of us. 1.5062 0.02251 883 523 273 87
126 I work for UberEats now. 1.5042 0.02120 1069 653 293 123
127 This one’s on me. 1.5038 0.02126 1048 637 294 117
128 He's a loan shark-it's a professional courtesy." 1.5005 0.02195 1015 628 266 121
129 I accidentally looked up his trunks... totally lost my appetite. 1.5000 0.02754 700 448 154 98
130 I thought we'd get take out and watch a movie. 1.4974 0.02481 770 473 211 86
131 I wish I had a blowhole. 1.4968 0.02502 789 493 200 96
132 He’s only just temporarily on top of the food chain. 1.4964 0.02225 963 594 260 109
133 Yes, I could dive, but I think surfacing would be more interesting. 1.4955 0.02251 886 535 263 88
134 Another 20 minutes and he’ll be medium rare. 1.4953 0.02169 955 577 283 95
135 Don't say anything, he just told all his friends that he's tall enough to reach the bottom. 1.4947 0.02119 936 560 292 84
136 'It takes a lot of self control, but I am getting a great massage.' 1.4931 0.03522 361 221 103 37
137 I love the look in their eyes when they realize they're not standing on the bottom. 1.4928 0.02402 828 514 220 94
138 It is the final exam for self control and anger management class 1.4919 0.02505 801 508 192 101
139 Let him get his damn selfie first. 1.4902 0.03161 457 280 130 47
140 It's professional courtesy, he's a lawyer. 1.4893 0.02547 746 468 191 87
141 Why does the President always have to rely on us to keep him afloat? 1.4875 0.02750 681 439 152 90
142 I'm trying to eat a balanced diet 1.4874 0.02218 874 539 249 86
143 Why? What do you use as bait? 1.4866 0.03253 448 280 118 50
144 One lousy surfer and I get sixteen weeks of community service. 1.4866 0.02417 818 513 212 93
145 The doc said I needed a balanced diet. 1.4865 0.02342 851 529 230 92
146 I'm going to let him marinate for another 20 minutes. 1.4858 0.02587 669 410 193 66
147 I’m making a fortune carrying them into U.S. waters. 1.4856 0.02444 836 534 198 104
148 Shhh. This guy thinks I'm a service animal. 1.4851 0.02384 839 527 217 95
149 I know. But he removed a thorn from my fin”. 1.4850 0.02388 802 496 223 83
150 He's just a decoy. 1.4844 0.02338 832 514 233 85
151 Should we do lunch now or save it for dinner? 1.4843 0.02260 830 500 258 72
152 Don’t worry he’s armless 1.4839 0.02588 713 449 183 81
153 He's trying to get a signal. 1.4829 0.02417 818 516 209 93
154 I'm headed to the potluck 1.4828 0.02424 787 493 209 85
155 Millennials...am I right? 1.4826 0.02398 806 503 217 86
156 I call it “ Surf and Turf” 1.4823 0.02431 817 518 204 95
157 First, we were overfished and now we're support animals? I don't get it. 1.4821 0.02414 784 487 216 81
158 You know, it wouldn't kill you to help me carry the groceries. 1.4809 0.02573 680 421 191 68
159 Probably not a stable genius. 1.4792 0.02625 745 486 161 98
160 Feels so good I hate to eat him. 1.4785 0.02400 790 493 216 81
161 You smell fear? All I can smell is feet. 1.4780 0.02468 772 488 199 85
162 This guy thinks he walks on water. 1.4779 0.02471 747 467 203 77
163 He was drowning. I'm just keeping him fresh until I get hungry. 1.4779 0.02486 747 469 199 79
164 Are you a leg or a breast man? 1.4775 0.02560 712 449 186 77
165 I told him I’d give him a lift if he debunked shark attacks as Fake News. 1.4766 0.03048 535 346 123 66
166 Just wait till he does another hand stand. 1.4762 0.02450 756 473 206 77
167 Something is in the water. Oh my god, it just touched me! 1.4759 0.02816 601 383 150 68
168 I can't do that. He's a lawyer. He's one of our own. 1.4738 0.02609 743 486 162 95
169 I can’t do anything without the soundtrack. 1.4731 0.02480 725 453 201 71
170 He’s all yours. I can’t stomach another old white male. 1.4728 0.02776 624 401 151 72
171 We'll eat him right after my back massage. 1.4703 0.02658 606 375 177 54
172 It’s a professional courtesy. He’s a corporate lawyer. 1.4666 0.02754 658 433 143 82
173 Heads he's yours. Tails he's mine. 1.4659 0.03419 410 266 97 47
174 I just get more done if I bring my lunch to work. 1.4654 0.02545 651 403 191 56
175 I REALLY hate Lent! 1.4654 0.02718 664 435 149 80
176 Shall we each grab a leg and make a wish? 1.4653 0.02699 662 431 154 77
177 My ex got the top half. 1.4650 0.02604 671 428 174 69
178 I’ve switched to live bait. 1.4644 0.04466 239 155 57 27
179 Takeout is on me tonight. 1.4642 0.02598 670 427 175 68
180 You were right about President Trump, he really is the dumbest thing on land or water. 1.4637 0.02790 662 443 131 88
181 I'll split him with you. 1.4634 0.02669 669 435 158 76
182 I think he said "Hey guys, I found the sand bar!" 1.4629 0.02573 620 383 187 50
183 Ok, let's go over this again... I hit the brakes, then you open your mouth. 1.4628 0.02639 631 399 172 60
184 I'm transitioning to porpoise, if you must know. 1.4627 0.02801 616 403 141 72
185 You ordered a 160 pounder, no fins, no wet suit? 1.4626 0.02671 642 412 163 67
186 It's a decoy. 1.4613 0.02668 646 416 162 68
187 He thinks he's standing on a sand bar. I'm waiting for his wife. 1.4612 0.02732 631 410 151 70
188 White meat is dry and flavorless, but there's no alternative on Nantucket. 1.4610 0.02730 629 408 152 69
189 I know we said we weren't exchanging gifts this year, but I couldn't resist. 1.4609 0.02660 627 399 167 61
190 It's win win. He gets a free ride, I get a free lunch. 1.4609 0.02675 627 403 160 64
191 The invitation said to bring your own lunch 1.4601 0.02565 626 389 186 51
192 Too bad today is Catch and Release 1.4598 0.02685 622 398 162 62
193 New gig with Uber Eats. 1.4597 0.02739 620 402 151 67
194 They're all over the place. Go get your own. 1.4585 0.02692 591 373 165 53
195 Beginning to have second thoughts on the Uber gig. 1.4582 0.02733 622 404 151 67
196 Sometimes being a vegetarian is difficult 1.4565 0.02701 598 381 161 56
197 Don't say a word. I'm trying not to laugh. 1.4560 0.02907 546 355 133 58
198 Go ahead they taste like chicken. 1.4554 0.03316 415 269 103 43
199 Grubhub. 1.4554 0.04810 224 152 42 30
200 They call him the shark whisperer. 1.4549 0.02857 565 368 137 60
201 Since when don't you like Italian? 1.4547 0.02873 530 339 141 50
202 I like to play with them a little beforehand. Don't tell Mom. 1.4539 0.02549 608 389 167 51
203 You said you wanted fresh. I'm bringing you fresh. 1.4538 0.02650 617 394 166 57
204 He said he'd introduce me to his fat uncle. 1.4536 0.02830 560 362 142 56
205 They're like muffins. The top half is delicious. 1.4532 0.02799 556 356 148 52
206 I can’t, he’s a client. 1.4521 0.02674 606 388 162 56
207 I identify as a Dolphin. 1.4521 0.02744 606 395 148 63
208 It’s a comfort human. 1.4521 0.02724 606 393 152 61
209 Do I have food on my face? 1.4507 0.03630 375 252 77 46
210 The most embarrassing part is he keeps calling me "Flipper". 1.4496 0.02866 565 372 132 61
211 It’s times like these that I regret going vegan. 1.4494 0.02852 563 369 135 59
212 No, go ahead, you tell him 1.4494 0.02715 563 357 159 47
213 I’m seconds away from nipping this wildlife tourism trend in the bud. 1.4494 0.02796 563 364 145 54
214 It started as a joke, but now I'm sorta invested. 1.4493 0.02824 552 357 142 53
215 Here's your order. 1.4490 0.02688 588 376 160 52
216 I dunno--I heard the guy say, "Less crowded than Everest and twice as safe." 1.4486 0.02629 593 375 170 48
217 He's a lawyer. Professional courtesy. 1.4469 0.02807 584 385 137 62
218 My wife said to bring someone home for dinner. 1.4469 0.02722 584 377 153 54
219 Here's your take-out. That'll be 20 clams. 1.4469 0.02690 584 374 159 51
220 I know it’s a false sense of security, but the meat is more tender when they’re relaxed. 1.4458 0.02721 581 375 153 53
221 It's called Great White Privilege. 1.4446 0.02850 569 377 131 61
222 Say hello to my little chum. 1.4426 0.02831 540 351 139 50
223 I’ll wait until he finishes waving at his wife. 1.4424 0.02842 556 366 134 56
224 So who's on top of the food chain? 1.4424 0.02807 556 363 140 53
225 I'm not hungry right now, but it's like packing a lunch for later. 1.4422 0.02689 545 344 161 40
226 When eating out got so expensive I started packing my lunch. 1.4422 0.02751 545 349 151 45
227 I feel like a metaphor for the Mueller report. 1.4420 0.03513 362 238 88 36
228 Of course this happens the week I go vegan 1.4419 0.03023 525 354 110 61
229 Go away, you already had your half ... 1.4417 0.02721 557 357 154 46
230 On three? 1.4408 0.02782 515 344 126 45
231 I like the top a little crispy. 1.4405 0.02788 538 351 139 48
232 I brought take out. 1.4404 0.02917 545 364 122 59
233 Man, this Swim With The Dolphins racket is great -- look what I got! 1.4401 0.02819 543 354 139 50
234 I thought you said I was supposed to bring lunch. 1.4397 0.02772 514 326 150 38
235 The kids wanted takeout again. 1.4394 0.02458 528 355 130 43
236 He's my comfort human, Larry 1.4389 0.03035 499 333 113 53
237 That's Donald Trump - much, much scarier than showing my dorsal fin above the water. 1.4382 0.03409 445 310 75 60
238 He's keeping an eye out for sharks 1.4382 0.02876 534 352 130 52
239 He's my chiropractor. 1.4381 0.02810 525 339 142 44
240 Suppers on me! 1.4380 0.02872 532 350 131 51
241 The worst part is, I just ate. 1.4380 0.03333 411 274 94 43
242 I am trying to make him feel what it’s like to be endangered.” 1.4379 0.03595 338 222 84 32
243 Trust me, it'll be funnier AFTER he realizes... 1.4379 0.03591 354 236 81 37
244 I'm sick of white meat. YOU eat it! 1.4378 0.02972 498 328 122 48
245 I'm gonna give this Uber thing another week. 1.4368 0.02917 506 334 124 48
246 All I know is the sciatica in my caudal fin is gone completely. 1.4357 0.02876 521 342 131 48
247 Don't show your fin! He thinks he's riding a dolphin! 1.4357 0.02837 521 339 137 45
248 Do you have any grey poupon? 1.4355 0.02884 519 341 130 48
249 People keep coming to try and rescue him. I swear, I've never eaten so good in my life. 1.4353 0.02853 510 331 136 43
250 Hey, Frank, dinner’s on me, today. 1.4348 0.03028 506 341 110 55
251 My mom finally said I could have a pet - he's a rescue. 1.4348 0.02943 506 337 119 50
252 Let's wait until he's finished waving to his kids. 1.4347 0.02908 513 338 127 48
253 Let one swimmer go and they walk all over you! 1.4347 0.02945 467 301 129 37
254 The water taxi costs an arm and a leg. I said I'd charge just an arm. 1.4339 0.02903 514 339 127 48
255 First, you have to give them a false sense of security. 1.4339 0.02810 514 332 141 41
256 In about one minute, he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.4338 0.04180 272 185 56 31
257 If you don’t attack first, they think they can just walk all over you. 1.4333 0.04203 270 184 55 31
258 Let him finish taking his selfie. 1.4325 0.02997 504 338 114 52
259 Let's humor him until his wife and kids arrive. 1.4325 0.02917 504 332 126 46
260 Turns out, you can play with your food and eat it too. 1.4325 0.02849 504 327 136 41
261 You try it ,the last one I ate tasted just like chicken. 1.4325 0.02876 504 329 132 43
262 Wait 'til he finds out I'm not a dolphin. 1.4325 0.02971 504 336 118 50
263 I’m letting him marinate 1.4321 0.03042 449 293 118 38
264 Like I told you, Karen, men will walk all over you if you let them. 1.4320 0.02947 500 331 122 47
265 You take the left leg and we’ll make a wish. 1.4318 0.03003 484 321 117 46
266 Thigh or drumstick? 1.4318 0.02916 484 315 129 40
267 It started off as a wart 1.4316 0.03556 373 254 77 42
268 I don’t know, I think he said his name was Spielberg and I owe him big time.... 1.4316 0.03120 468 315 104 49
269 ...and we'll have these waters to ourselves for the rest of the summer. 1.4315 0.03026 482 321 114 47
270 Oh, like you could say no to Sir David Attenborough. 1.4309 0.02983 485 321 119 45
271 He ain't heavy, he's my lunch. 1.4307 0.03049 469 314 109 46
272 Once you get past the temptation, it's actually really good for your core. 1.4302 0.04089 265 177 62 26
273 I told him I'm a dolphin. 1.4292 0.02994 452 294 122 36
274 What is it you're not supposed to do, 30 minutes after eating a swimmer? 1.4292 0.02932 480 314 126 40
275 Ooh gross, get it off!! Where is it? 1.4289 0.02987 464 304 121 39
276 And just like that, goodbye sciatica. 1.4289 0.02910 485 317 128 40
277 Tastes like chicken. 1.4276 0.03037 463 307 114 42
278 They are all so confident when their head is above water. 1.4274 0.02921 468 304 128 36
279 Well, if I had known your sister was joining us, I would have brought home more than just the drumsticks. 1.4257 0.02980 451 294 122 35
280 It's my emotional support human. 1.4255 0.03051 463 309 111 43
281 Met him at Montauk. Twenty bucks to take him to Sag Harbor ain't bad. 1.4255 0.02862 463 297 135 31
282 Dad said he could clear a whole beach in the mid-70s 1.4252 0.03660 341 232 73 36
283 Oh, it's Human Week. 1.4252 0.03091 461 310 106 45
284 I’m never sure of what to bring to potlucks. 1.4252 0.03152 461 314 98 49
285 What can I say, he’s a lawyer. He’s one of us. 1.4248 0.02892 452 320 84 48
286 Now I have athlete's fin 1.4246 0.03016 464 308 115 41
287 Tell the kids, dinner's ready 1.4246 0.02969 464 305 121 38
288 Revenge is a dish best served live. 1.4223 0.03109 431 286 108 37
289 Have at him. I gave up men for lent. 1.4223 0.03039 431 282 116 33
290 What is it? Get if off me! Get it off! 1.4220 0.03041 455 303 112 40
291 You know what they say..."eat a man and you have lunch, use one as bait and you'll feast forever" 1.4220 0.02976 455 299 120 36
292 I met him online. 1.4220 0.03072 455 305 108 42
293 Don't ask. 1.4218 0.03442 377 256 83 38
294 I was going to let him finish his text. 1.4216 0.03034 453 301 113 39
295 We're pool sharks..live with it. 1.4213 0.03139 451 306 100 45
296 You know that trick where the dog flips a treat up off his nose and then eats it? 1.4212 0.02959 444 297 111 36
297 Sure, but when one of us mistakes a surfboard for a seal, all hell breaks loose. 1.4207 0.03743 309 208 72 29
298 Bait. I’m trolling for one of the really fat, juicy ones. 1.4206 0.03013 447 295 116 36
299 I told you I was bringing the entree! 1.4206 0.02945 447 291 124 32
300 Why don't YOU ever bring dinner? 1.4202 0.03185 445 304 95 46
301 Jump the shark? No, but he did stick the landing. 1.4202 0.03047 445 298 108 39
302 Are you gonna tell him? Or should I? 1.4201 0.03329 407 278 87 42
303 No, when you're a shark, you're not necessarily a shark all the way. 1.4190 0.03204 432 294 95 43
304 Why don’t you bring a sea weed salad or bottle of red wine. 1.4186 0.03095 430 290 102 38
305 Gives a whole new meaning to "stupid" doesn't it? 1.4178 0.03204 438 300 93 45
306 Wanna grab a bite? 1.4171 0.03003 434 285 117 32
307 I'd eat him, but he's doing wonders for my back. 1.4167 0.03013 432 284 116 32
308 This has been a bad week, one Fitbit, two tires and now a stand up comedian. 1.4167 0.03248 408 276 94 38
309 I don't mind. He's waving a 'Save the Sharks' poster. 1.4165 0.03137 389 254 108 27
310 Because he's a card shark, and I owe him a fin." 1.4164 0.03696 353 248 63 42
311 AH! What is it? Where is it? Get it off! 1.4164 0.04006 281 193 59 29
312 Let's let him wave frantically to shore for another minute or two. 1.4163 0.03128 430 289 103 38
313 The odds of this occurring are roughly the same as getting struck by lightning. 1.4162 0.03414 358 240 87 31
314 I feel like a Golden Retriever with a Cheerio on its nose. 1.4161 0.02897 423 293 93 37
315 Imagine how he'll spin this for his college essay. 1.4159 0.02816 428 283 117 28
316 He thinks they're swimming with dolphins. 1.4159 0.03190 428 291 96 41
317 The trick is to brine just the bottom half 1.4159 0.03050 428 283 112 33
318 Uber Eats delivery for you 1.4159 0.03224 428 293 92 43
319 Hurry, go get the camera. 1.4159 0.03050 428 283 112 33
320 I thought he'd realize his mistake and jump off, but it's been three hours and now it seems too awkward to say anything. 1.4159 0.03085 428 285 108 35
321 We Canadian sharks are just too polite. 1.4159 0.03138 428 288 102 38
322 This is NOT how He walked on water. 1.4159 0.03190 428 291 96 41
323 I tried goat yoga. This is better. 1.4159 0.03155 428 289 100 39
324 Sorry I'm late. But I brought lunch. 1.4159 0.03085 428 285 108 35
325 I'm on my way to a potluck. 1.4157 0.02766 421 275 122 24
326 I'm saving him for later. 1.4155 0.03059 426 282 111 33
327 Ok, I am going to flip him". Heads or Tails 1.4155 0.03059 426 282 111 33
328 No, maybe YOU misunderstood when he said "Help, shark!" 1.4149 0.03150 429 290 100 39
329 Great white privilege... 1.4149 0.03285 429 298 84 47
330 I enjoy giving them a false sense of security. 1.4133 0.03302 375 251 93 31
331 40 more hours of community service, and I can go back to biting ‘em. 1.4132 0.03088 409 270 109 30
332 The missus asked me to get some takeout. 1.4125 0.03085 417 277 108 32
333 He does things for me you can't begin to understand. 1.4121 0.03303 398 272 88 38
334 Chick bait. 1.4120 0.03132 415 278 103 34
335 Mom, I'm not going to be ashamed of who I love anymore. 1.4114 0.03528 333 227 76 30
336 I got a lunch order here for a Miss Wanda Piranha. Is that you? 1.4108 0.03163 409 275 100 34
337 He’s just taking a selfie. Then we can eat him. 1.4108 0.03067 409 270 110 29
338 It's the only way to get that knot out of my back. 1.4104 0.03155 385 254 104 27
339 He's all yours. I can't eat anything this stupid. 1.4104 0.03422 385 267 78 40
340 He's my chum. 1.4103 0.03058 407 268 111 28
341 I couldn’t finish the whole thing, so I got it to go. 1.4103 0.03097 407 270 107 30
342 Why does this always happen when I'm fasting? 1.4103 0.03174 407 274 99 34
343 I give up. What has two legs and looks tasty for lunch? 1.4103 0.03018 407 266 115 26
344 Watch this! He thinks he’s on a sand bar. 1.4103 0.03193 407 275 97 35
345 Does the tag say “sell by” or “use by” 1.4103 0.03116 407 271 105 31
346 He's half the man he used to be. 1.4099 0.03316 405 280 84 41
347 I believe you ordered take-out. 1.4099 0.03127 405 272 101 32
348 I got some takeout from that new sand bar. 1.4099 0.03007 405 275 100 30
349 I stopped for take-out on my way home. 1.4099 0.03146 405 271 102 32
350 I promise. This is his last selfie. 1.4099 0.03087 405 268 108 29
351 I grabbed us take-out. 1.4098 0.03213 410 279 94 37
352 Do you prefer the thigh or leg? 1.4094 0.03196 403 272 97 34
353 It's like he knows I'm fasting. 1.4093 0.03324 364 244 91 29
354 My body, my choice. 1.4091 0.03536 330 223 79 28
355 I know we don't normally get aggressive, but this guy is pissing me off. 1.4091 0.03771 308 212 66 30
356 It's a matter of perception vs. reality. He thinks I am a log and I know he is my lunch. 1.4086 0.03361 372 255 83 34
357 I find it makes the other swimmers more relaxed. 1.4080 0.03298 375 253 91 31
358 Remember this is an aquarium - eat him and there is no more 1.4075 0.03332 373 253 88 32
359 I'll let him post to Instagram first. 1.4074 0.03686 324 224 68 32
360 He's out of his depth and clueless. Sad. 1.4068 0.03594 354 248 68 38
361 I just don't feel like I command the respect I used to. 1.4063 0.03294 379 257 90 32
362 Like Donald Trump, he thinks he is on solid ground. 1.4053 0.03275 375 253 92 30
363 I got takeout tonight 1.4051 0.03268 390 266 90 34
364 It attracts the lifeguards, and they don't come any meatier than that! 1.4046 0.03300 388 266 87 35
365 'I won't eat him right away. My back feels great.' 1.4046 0.03113 388 262 97 29
366 The wife is working late, so she asked me to bring home dinner. 1.4046 0.03197 388 261 97 30
367 Best spa ever. Back massage followed by dinner for two. 1.4046 0.03340 388 273 76 39
368 It's low-pay, seasonal work. But it includes meals. 1.4046 0.03218 388 262 95 31
369 I am so sick of tourist season - you can have this one. 1.4046 0.03048 388 258 105 25
370 You go high, I'll go low. 1.4044 0.03330 366 248 88 30
371 I was running late, so I got my meal to go. 1.4041 0.03311 386 265 86 35
372 Are you the guy who ordered dinner? 1.4041 0.03291 386 264 88 34
373 he thinks he found a sandbar 1.4041 0.03250 386 262 92 32
374 He’s my chum, not yours. 1.4041 0.03311 386 265 86 35
375 Grab a leg, and make a wish.... 1.4041 0.03229 386 261 94 31
376 At the count of three, we each grab a leg and make a wish. 1.4041 0.03352 386 267 82 37
377 I know, but my doctor told me to just leave it alone and eventually it'll fall off. 1.4041 0.03080 386 264 93 29
378 It's even better than goat yoga. 1.4041 0.03002 386 263 95 28
379 God, I hate being a Nurse Shark. This guy says he has bunions. 1.4038 0.03463 369 257 75 37
380 I think it’s a great white. 1.4036 0.03282 384 262 89 33
381 He's my perfect disguise ... keeps all the tastier swimmers from panicking when they see my dorsal fin. 1.4036 0.03112 384 254 105 25
382 I know, you hate it when I play with my food... 1.4036 0.03219 384 259 95 30
383 I don’t care how much good publicity we need, this is humiliating. 1.4036 0.03261 384 261 91 32
384 Pretty soon this guy won't have a leg to stand on. 1.4036 0.03209 384 264 88 32
385 Do stupid people taste good? 1.4036 0.03384 384 267 79 38
386 You the guy who ordered the sushi? 1.4036 0.03384 384 267 79 38
387 I ate his wife. It's the least I could do. 1.4031 0.03315 382 262 86 34
388 Uber Eats 1.4031 0.03231 382 258 94 30
389 My wife sent me for takeout. 1.4031 0.02965 382 246 118 18
390 I have to wait for that music to start. 1.4031 0.03273 382 260 90 32
391 Yeah, I've got your Uber Eats order. 1.4031 0.03294 382 261 88 33
392 When should I tell him I am not a dolphin? 1.4031 0.03273 382 260 90 32
393 Your Uber Eats order, sir. 1.4031 0.03315 382 262 86 34
394 I thought I'd get a massage in before lunch. 1.4031 0.03166 382 255 100 27
395 It works like a charm to catch lifeguards 1.4026 0.03242 380 257 93 30
396 I'm just gonna ride this one out. 1.4026 0.03170 385 258 99 28
397 Surf and Turf 1.4021 0.03328 383 264 84 35
398 I don't know, it's some kind of parasite. 1.4011 0.03430 354 243 80 31
399 It's a shame we have to throw them back if they are under three feet. 1.4011 0.03249 364 244 94 26
400 Be my guest, I can't reach him. 1.4011 0.03295 364 246 90 28
401 It feels so good I just couldn't eat him. 1.4011 0.03249 364 244 94 26
402 I'm seriously thinking I should say something. 1.4011 0.03321 374 256 86 32
403 His name is Jesus and he likes it when people think he can walk on water. 1.4011 0.03321 374 256 86 32
404 Do I LOOK like a dolphin? 1.4011 0.03189 374 250 98 26
405 Take a bite and tell me if it tastes like chicken. 1.4011 0.03321 374 256 86 32
406 Join the aquarium they said, It'll be fun they said 1.4006 0.03477 317 220 70 27
407 Best. Disguise. Ever. 1.4006 0.03604 352 249 65 38
408 I'm trying to quit, but they make it too damn easy." 1.4005 0.03387 367 253 81 33
409 He's a lawyer. It's a professional courtesy. 1.4005 0.03311 372 254 87 31
410 Can I keep him? 1.4005 0.03376 372 257 81 34
411 It’s harder than goat yoga and it comes with a snack. 1.3995 0.03380 368 254 81 33
412 Tourists ...its too easy 1.3995 0.03313 368 254 84 30
413 I'm a comfort shark... 1.3994 0.03368 363 249 83 31
414 It’s all about branding. If we save one once in a while, we’ll be right up there with the dolphins 1.3994 0.03300 363 246 89 28
415 My dermatologist isn't worried about it, but I want a second opinion. 1.3994 0.03182 363 241 99 23
416 He's picking up plastic. 1.3994 0.03253 363 244 93 26
417 He's not heavy. He's my lunch. 1.3994 0.03346 363 248 85 30
418 Well, then, you should have asked for fries when you placed your order. 1.3994 0.03277 363 245 91 27
419 He's not heavy. He's my dinner. 1.3994 0.03435 363 257 69 37
420 It's not how I imagined global warming either, but here we are. 1.3994 0.03253 363 244 93 26
421 Do you think he knows that he's taking the last selfie of his life? 1.3989 0.03242 361 242 94 25
422 The top half was delicious. 1.3989 0.03471 361 252 74 35
423 It's take your dinner to work day. 1.3989 0.03170 361 239 100 22
424 What kills me is he thinks he’s the great white. 1.3988 0.03580 346 243 68 35
425 If we don't nip this in the bud, sharkboardng may become a 'thing'. 1.3976 0.03459 332 226 80 26
426 He’s not my friend, really more of a chum. 1.3973 0.03681 297 203 70 24
427 Are you the one who ordered from Grubhub? 1.3966 0.03314 353 239 88 26
428 I can’t decide between the meal or the delivery guy. 1.3963 0.04978 164 115 34 15
429 Just my luck. Every time I go on a diet... 1.3960 0.03399 351 241 81 29
430 Does this thing make my dorsal fin look weird? 1.3960 0.03399 351 241 81 29
431 Talk about white privilege. 1.3957 0.04183 235 162 53 20
432 Oh my God, where is it? On my back? Don't kill it, just get it off me! 1.3954 0.03339 349 237 86 26
433 I heard Everest just got too popular for them.” 1.3952 0.03469 334 229 78 27
434 She can't complain it's not "fresh" this time! 1.3950 0.03405 357 247 79 31
435 Tee hee. He thinks I’m inflated. 1.3950 0.03405 357 247 79 31
436 They’re delicious, but they need air. 1.3950 0.03287 357 242 89 26
437 The wife likes her takeout fresh 1.3950 0.03428 357 248 77 32
438 So you're sayin' he made up the whole symbiosis thing. 1.3940 0.03841 302 214 57 31
439 What, do I have something in my teeth? 1.3938 0.03360 353 242 83 28
440 When I show my dorsal fin above the water they all run screaming, but with this sunburned mannequin they never see me coming. 1.3932 0.03421 351 248 70 33
441 Its Spielberg 1.3932 0.03515 351 247 70 34
442 I broke his surfboard, it's the least I could do. 1.3930 0.03471 313 214 76 23
443 It's Ramadan. He has until sundown. 1.3929 0.03899 280 196 58 26
444 It's bring Your Victim to Work Week." 1.3926 0.03482 349 244 73 32
445 My new workout? Strength training until failure, then a high protein snack. 1.3926 0.03434 349 242 77 30
446 I didn't know they delivered. 1.3926 0.03505 349 245 71 33
447 I like to eat a balanced diet. 1.3926 0.03287 349 236 89 24
448 It's my spirit animal. 1.3926 0.03434 349 242 77 30
449 I owe him, He pulled a hook out of my tail years ago 1.3919 0.03349 347 237 84 26
450 I'm looking for some fava beans and a nice chianti. 1.3919 0.03435 347 243 73 31
451 It's called "take out". 1.3919 0.03325 347 236 86 25
452 Call me Fishmael. 1.3913 0.03461 345 240 75 30
453 I saved you the bottom half." 1.3908 0.03366 348 239 82 27
454 Actually, I do like working for Uber. 1.3907 0.03350 343 234 84 25
455 No, papa, I love him! 1.3907 0.03499 343 240 72 31
456 Shhh! He thinks he’s standing on a rock. 1.3905 0.03890 274 191 59 24
457 Because a real periscope costs an arm and a leg. 1.3896 0.03865 308 222 52 34
458 Don't let this get around. 1.3882 0.03582 304 209 72 23
459 I'd eat him but I've never had such a good massage before. 1.3881 0.03323 335 227 86 22
460 Let's make a wish. 1.3881 0.03269 335 235 74 26
461 He says the cell signal is better out here. 1.3881 0.03403 335 230 80 25
462 Don’t pretend like you’ve never seen live bait before. 1.3881 0.03455 335 232 76 27
463 I picked up some take-out. 1.3881 0.03481 335 233 74 28
464 He’s looking for us! 1.3881 0.03429 335 231 78 26
465 It's a balanced diet. 1.3881 0.03350 335 228 84 23
466 The legs taste better after marinating for an hour. 1.3881 0.03376 335 229 82 24
467 I'm taking it to the potluck. 1.3881 0.03481 335 233 74 28
468 Care to join me for take-out ? 1.3881 0.03376 335 229 82 24
469 You wanna tell him? Or should I? 1.3881 0.03429 335 231 78 26
470 I'm saving the rest for later 1.3881 0.03403 335 230 80 25
471 Whatever it is he's trying to prove, he's not going to have a leg to stand on. 1.3881 0.03481 335 233 74 28
472 Since when are you concerned about sustainability? 1.3876 0.03617 307 213 69 25
473 No, you _can't_ have the top."That's the best part. 1.3874 0.03443 333 230 77 26
474 Remember, I said to pack a lunch...? 1.3874 0.03067 333 219 100 14
475 If he likes the ride, I get five stars on Kelp. 1.3874 0.03495 333 234 70 29
476 What?? Do I have something caught in my teeth? 1.3874 0.03443 333 230 77 26
477 I know, never get attached to them, but this one is different. 1.3867 0.03403 331 227 80 24
478 Should you tell him or should I? 1.3860 0.03497 329 229 73 27
479 Here’s your order sir! 1.3860 0.03471 329 228 75 26
480 I know we shouldn't play with our food, but this seems to help my back. 1.3860 0.03444 329 227 77 25
481 Do I have some food stuck in my dorsal fin? 1.3860 0.03417 329 226 79 24
482 let's do the old bait and switch. 1.3860 0.03444 329 227 77 25
483 Now I understand why the oceans are warming. 1.3857 0.03826 280 196 59 24
484 I’m trying something different. I’m letting my food play with me. 1.3855 0.03771 275 190 64 21
485 I can never resist playing with my food. 1.3853 0.03512 327 228 72 27
486 Relax, he's just saying his goodbyes. 1.3853 0.03204 327 227 79 21
487 I'm taking him out for lunch. 1.3853 0.03375 327 223 82 22
488 Want half? 1.3853 0.03485 327 227 74 26
489 He keeps yelling “help!” Do you think there’s anything we can do for him? 1.3853 0.03403 327 224 80 23
490 I think it's time to show ol' Macheath here our pearly whites. 1.3853 0.03485 327 227 74 26
491 I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a dolphin 1.3853 0.03375 327 226 79 22
492 I like mine golden brown on top. 1.3853 0.03538 327 229 70 28
493 What can I say - I like to play with my food. 1.3853 0.03347 327 222 84 21
494 I brought dessert. 1.3853 0.03347 327 222 84 21
495 No you can’t have him. I’m delivering for GrubHub. 1.3853 0.03538 327 229 70 28
496 I got my sea legs. 1.3846 0.03361 325 221 83 21
497 Took him 'to go' 1.3846 0.03472 325 225 75 25
498 Business has really picked up ever since the ferry boat broke down. 1.3839 0.03430 323 222 78 23
499 How do you want him- over easy? 1.3839 0.03258 323 216 90 17
500 I prefer dark meat. He's all yours. 1.3839 0.03514 323 225 72 26
501 I don’t eat white meat. 1.3839 0.03541 323 226 70 27
502 He's all yours. I'm not big on white meat 1.3832 0.03444 321 221 77 23
503 I found a really good take out place right on the beach... 1.3832 0.03473 321 222 75 24
504 No, I wouldn't say I let people "walk all over me" 1.3832 0.03444 321 221 77 23
505 They call it Extreme Paddleboarding. I call it lunch. 1.3832 0.03501 321 226 69 26
506 And somehow this isn't the scariest platform in America. 1.3832 0.03528 321 224 71 26
507 It’s Ramadan. 1.3824 0.03401 319 218 80 21
508 A lot has changed since I became a vegetarian. 1.3824 0.03515 319 222 72 25
509 This guy figures he's a shoo-in for the 2019 Darwin Award. 1.3824 0.03902 272 192 56 24
510 He said he was going to get me featured on Shark Tank. 1.3817 0.03386 317 216 81 20
511 I feel so much better since I went vegan. 1.3814 0.03843 291 208 55 28
512 I try to maintain a balanced diet. 1.3810 0.03458 315 217 76 22
513 I'm saving the legs for dessert. 1.3810 0.03487 315 218 74 23
514 Shark surfing, apparently it's a thing. 1.3806 0.03670 289 201 66 22
515 Move to Marineland it will be fun, they said. 1.3806 0.03703 289 202 64 23
516 I know, I know. I just don’t have the heart to tell him I’m not a dolphin. 1.3802 0.03228 313 215 80 18
517 I’ve just about had it with being his companion animal. 1.3802 0.03352 313 215 80 18
518 I'm with Uber. If they don't tip, I eat them. 1.3802 0.03589 313 220 67 26
519 These new lures are a hit. 1.3802 0.03473 313 216 75 22
520 So, what are you doing to improve our image? 1.3802 0.03383 313 213 81 19
521 He’s a lawyer and 23andMe says we’re related. 1.3802 0.03645 313 222 63 28
522 What he doesn't know is about to hurt him. 1.3802 0.03383 313 213 81 19
523 Quick, take a photo for my Instagram! 1.3802 0.03589 313 220 67 26
524 The Great White suggests allowing the meat to stand just a bit prior to consumption. 1.3802 0.03443 313 215 77 21
525 Yep, another adrenaline junkie followed me home. 1.3802 0.03413 313 214 79 20
526 I had to do something—Dolphins are killing us in the PR department! 1.3802 0.03673 313 223 61 29
527 May I borrow your Grey Poupon? 1.3794 0.03517 311 216 72 23
528 I can't believe I missed and ate his surfboard. I think I need glasses. 1.3794 0.03717 311 223 58 30
529 I brought my lunch. 1.3794 0.03604 311 219 66 26
530 He's bait, you idiot! 1.3794 0.03717 311 223 58 30
531 I'm tired of all the hate 1.3794 0.03487 311 215 74 22
532 Stick around! I am using him as bait! 1.3794 0.03517 311 216 72 23
533 I gave up eating idiots for Lent. 1.3794 0.03546 311 217 70 24
534 Can you please get a picture of this? 1.3794 0.03604 311 219 66 26
535 I thought it was potluck. 1.3794 0.03457 311 214 76 21
536 Yoo-hoo. My eyes are down here. 1.3794 0.03487 311 215 74 22
537 It’s a long trip. Thought I’d carry a snack for the road” 1.3794 0.03633 311 220 64 27
538 So what? You've got ramoras. 1.3786 0.03502 309 214 73 22
539 I bet this idiot thinks he's on top of the food chain right now? 1.3786 0.03591 309 217 67 25
540 I got this one to go. 1.3786 0.03502 309 216 70 23
541 I just can't bear to tell him he's really in over his head. 1.3786 0.03620 309 218 65 26
542 We decided to try that new carry out place. 1.3786 0.03620 309 218 65 26
543 I wanted to go somewhere nice, you're the one who said let's just get takeout!" 1.3786 0.03502 309 223 62 24
544 Hey! I didn't criticize you when you brought YOUR lawyer! 1.3786 0.03561 309 216 69 24
545 He thinks all sharks are bottom feeders. 1.3784 0.04382 222 159 42 21
546 Be patient. He just asked his wife to come in - there'll be plenty for both of us. 1.3779 0.03393 307 209 80 18
547 When I'm through with him, he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.3779 0.03694 307 219 60 28
548 They're so tame these days. It's no fun anymore. 1.3779 0.03455 307 211 76 20
549 The Hamptons have become way too crowded. 1.3779 0.03577 307 215 68 24
550 Sometimes, I feel like they just don't respect me anymore. 1.3779 0.03486 307 212 74 21
551 It keeps calling me "Dude". 1.3779 0.03577 307 215 68 24
552 Meals on Fins! 1.3779 0.03517 307 213 72 22
553 When do you think we should let him know? 1.3779 0.03425 307 210 78 19
554 Just stay calm - it’s more afraid of you than you are of it. 1.3779 0.03577 307 215 68 24
555 I brought a snack in case we get hungry later. 1.3779 0.03486 307 220 63 24
556 He's my chum or at least will be soon. 1.3779 0.03547 307 214 70 23
557 I''m saving the bottom half until later 1.3779 0.03636 307 217 64 26
558 He promised to fix my back. I promised not to eat him. 1.3779 0.03606 307 216 66 25
559 Oh yeah ! The old sandbar trick, it works every time ! 1.3779 0.03425 307 212 75 20
560 I prefer standing rib, don't you? 1.3779 0.03562 307 217 65 25
561 He said he was a lawyer...professional courtesy. 1.3770 0.03652 305 216 63 26
562 Do you think he could balance on ONE leg? 1.3770 0.03178 305 216 69 20
563 Meet my new chum! 1.3762 0.03453 303 208 76 19
564 It's 2019. We're in love. And it's beautiful. 1.3762 0.03453 303 208 76 19
565 The dolphin noises worked." 1.3762 0.03516 303 210 72 21
566 White people, amiright? 1.3754 0.03593 301 211 67 23
567 Am I losing my edge, Alan? 1.3754 0.03468 301 207 75 19
568 Bite his leg off, will ya? My dorsal fin's going to sleep. 1.3754 0.03436 301 206 77 18
569 What was I supposed to do? Let him drown? 1.3754 0.03624 301 212 65 24
570 Professional courtesy. He's a politician. 1.3754 0.03403 301 205 79 17
571 I always like to bring a snack. 1.3754 0.03531 301 209 71 21
572 What? It's Take Your Prey to Work day. 1.3754 0.03624 301 212 65 24
573 No, he's just my massage therapist. 1.3746 0.03351 299 202 82 15
574 He does wonders for my spine. 1.3746 0.03214 299 208 74 17
575 I still play with my food — so what? 1.3746 0.03640 299 211 64 24
576 I'm tired of Dolphins getting all the good press. 1.3746 0.03578 299 209 68 22
577 You don't feel like cooking, so I got some take-out. 1.3746 0.03640 299 211 64 24
578 Did you order the take-out? 1.3746 0.03351 299 206 76 17
579 It’s Human Week. 1.3746 0.03731 299 214 58 27
580 He hasn't yet noticed I ate his surfboard. 1.3746 0.03482 299 206 74 19
581 I had the top half for breakfast. 1.3746 0.03384 299 208 72 19
582 I’m swimming for the new ride-sharing app Scuber” 1.3737 0.03656 297 210 63 24
583 He thinks I'm a dolphin. What should I do? 1.3737 0.03593 297 208 67 22
584 He's a lawyer- it's just professional courtesy 1.3737 0.03687 297 211 61 25
585 Look what followed me home. 1.3737 0.03593 297 208 67 22
586 Humans endangered species? You must be joking! 1.3729 0.03609 295 207 66 22
587 i come bearing gifts 1.3729 0.03735 295 211 58 26
588 I'd eat him, but it's so hard to find a good shiatsu practitioner and he knows just the right pressure point on my dorsal. 1.3727 0.03722 271 189 63 19
589 It's complicated. 1.3720 0.03689 293 208 61 24
590 What would Darwin do? 1.3720 0.03593 293 207 64 22
591 Pardon me. Would you have any Grey Poupon? 1.3720 0.03689 293 208 61 24
592 Did you know shark yoga was a thing? 1.3720 0.03460 293 201 75 17
593 Half a billion years old and the planet’s most vicious predator - where’s the respect? 1.3717 0.03777 269 189 60 20
594 Do these make my neck look fat? 1.3711 0.03674 291 206 62 23
595 Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts which we areabout to recieve... 1.3711 0.03706 291 207 60 24
596 Pretty soon he won't have a leg to stand on! 1.3711 0.03706 291 207 60 24
597 It's called 'delayed gratification training.' 1.3711 0.03543 291 202 70 19
598 He's endangered. 1.3711 0.03706 291 207 60 24
599 I WAS GOING TO EAT HIM BUT MY BACK NEVER FELT BETTER 1.3702 0.03755 289 207 57 25
600 I saved this one for you. I'm already stuffed to the gills. 1.3702 0.03490 289 199 73 17
601 I'd eat him, but I like the back rub. 1.3702 0.03558 289 201 69 19
602 He's heavy...and he ain't my brother. 1.3702 0.03592 289 202 67 20
603 I'm still a man eater. Uber is just a side hustle. 1.3702 0.03755 289 207 57 25
604 I'm just not into him 1.3702 0.03592 289 202 67 20
605 Do you want to surprise him or should I? 1.3693 0.03675 287 203 62 22
606 So, should I tell him, or do you want to? 1.3693 0.03741 287 205 58 24
607 Here’s one guy who’s gonna be defeeted. 1.3693 0.03574 287 200 68 19
608 I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a sandbar. 1.3693 0.03399 287 195 78 14
609 I just don't know if I really want to eat him or if it's because society wants me to" 1.3693 0.03608 287 201 66 20
610 It's just easier to carry your lunch. 1.3693 0.03608 287 201 66 20
611 It's just until he finishes his beer. 1.3693 0.03642 287 202 64 21
612 No, bull sharks are the aggressive ones, I’m more passive aggressive. 1.3688 0.03981 263 190 49 24
613 It's one of my best lures. 1.3684 0.03725 285 203 59 23
614 I’m full. You want him? 1.3684 0.03590 285 199 67 19
615 Word to the wise: never lose a bet to Shamu 1.3684 0.03590 285 199 67 19
616 I'm beginning to rethink this ride sharing gig. 1.3684 0.03377 285 198 71 16
617 Fine then, you tell me how to accessorize. 1.3684 0.03590 285 206 57 22
618 Carryout. 1.3684 0.03692 285 202 61 22
619 I could only eat half! 1.3684 0.03855 285 207 51 27
620 It's a symbiotic relationship. He gets a free ride, and I get to swim close to shore undetected. 1.3684 0.03520 285 197 71 17
621 It was developed by the same people who came up with goat yoga. 1.3684 0.03624 285 200 65 20
622 I've literally got lunch on my mind 1.3675 0.03500 283 195 72 16
623 I'm a Scuber driver. 1.3675 0.03809 283 204 54 25
624 I switched to using live bait 1.3675 0.03410 283 200 65 18
625 Surf for him--turf for me. 1.3675 0.03410 283 200 65 18
626 I know. But it supposedly cures hiccups. 1.3675 0.03571 283 197 68 18
627 It's that first moment of realization I savor most, though the panicked thrashing is also quite satisfying. 1.3675 0.03391 283 192 78 13
628 It's the least I could do since I ate his surfboard . 1.3673 0.03749 275 195 59 21
629 Yeah, he thinks he’s standing on a sandbar. 1.3670 0.03715 267 187 62 18
630 I didn’t invite him. I thought you did. 1.3667 0.03495 270 184 73 13
631 The top half was pretty tasty. 1.3665 0.03794 281 202 55 24
632 Fear is a tenderizer. 1.3665 0.03657 281 198 63 20
633 I'd eat him but he's such a stand up guy. 1.3665 0.03657 281 198 63 20
634 Ready? 1.3664 0.03604 262 180 68 14
635 It's a balanced breakfast. 1.3656 0.03382 279 199 62 18
636 Dinner’s almost ready - just letting it rest for a few minutes 1.3656 0.03494 279 192 72 15
637 I don’t have the heart to tell him he’s not swimming with dolphins. 1.3656 0.03674 279 197 62 20
638 I was going to eat him, but this massage feels fantastic. 1.3656 0.03709 279 200 57 22
639 I want to tell him "a little to the left" but I'm afraid he'll freak out. 1.3656 0.03531 279 193 70 16
640 Somehow he thinks I'm taking him back to his surfboard. 1.3656 0.03585 279 197 63 19
641 I always carry a snack with me when I’m out and about. 1.3656 0.03567 279 194 68 17
642 I’ve found that strapping a lawyer on my back scares more swimmers than my fin alone. 1.3656 0.03674 279 197 62 20
643 I've seen better legs on a hermit crab. 1.3656 0.03744 279 199 58 22
644 Looks like six more weeks of winter. 1.3653 0.04263 219 157 44 18
645 I do one National Geographic Special and he's been following me around ever since. 1.3646 0.03691 277 196 61 20
646 It's realistic, isn't it? Now lets see if it works... 1.3646 0.03656 277 195 63 19
647 Like the American electorate, he does not know he’s standing on a shark 1.3643 0.03917 258 185 52 21
648 He just had to prove he was on top of the food chain. 1.3641 0.04579 184 131 39 14
649 It looks like it's white meat for dinner. Do you prefer the leg or the thigh? 1.3636 0.03563 275 191 68 16
650 It's strickly business. For luring them over to me, he keeps any jewelry and cash. 1.3636 0.03600 275 192 66 17
651 I named him Finn. 1.3636 0.03744 275 196 58 21
652 Watch me flip him in the air and catch him in my mouth 1.3636 0.03780 275 197 56 22
653 Do I have some food on my fin? 1.3636 0.03780 275 197 56 22
654 There are days I wish I never would have gotten involved with Uber! 1.3636 0.03744 275 196 58 21
655 Did the water just get really warm? 1.3626 0.03910 262 189 51 22
656 As my sponsor can you help me with how to react or handle this situation? The urge to eat him is so strong. 1.3616 0.03744 271 193 58 20
657 His surf, our turf. 1.3616 0.03707 271 192 60 19
658 He has my back so don’t bite him 1.3615 0.03697 260 182 62 16
659 There are times I just wish I could forget I'm a vegan! 1.3615 0.03968 260 189 48 23
660 Normally I'd eat him, but this just feels sooo good. 1.3615 0.03854 260 186 54 20
661 Well, the sharks in Japan say it helps with their back pain. 1.3615 0.03873 260 189 49 22
662 I think my vegan diet days are just about over. 1.3615 0.03615 260 180 66 14
663 Please tell me those are feet. 1.3615 0.03892 260 187 52 21
664 I thought I’d do carry out this evening. 1.3606 0.03835 269 194 53 22
665 He's just some guy from Helsinki. Calls himself a dorsal Finn. 1.3606 0.03687 269 190 61 18
666 I'm taking my lunch to work today. 1.3606 0.03762 269 192 57 20
667 Some moron ate his surfboard 1.3606 0.03799 269 193 55 21
668 Help yourself. I'm vegan. 1.3602 0.03725 261 184 60 17
669 Going vegan has been harder than expected. 1.3600 0.04136 200 147 39 14
670 This is what white privilege looks like. 1.3596 0.03780 267 191 56 20
671 It's a good decoy, but the glue gives me hives. 1.3596 0.03743 267 190 58 19
672 They taste better after you betray them. 1.3596 0.03817 267 194 51 22
673 It stands for Make America Great White Again. 1.3591 0.03558 259 186 56 17
674 I think they call him a sociopath--he acts like he is drowning and I get the rescuers. 1.3591 0.03579 259 179 67 13
675 Wanna join me for lunch? 1.3591 0.04050 259 191 43 25
676 Here is your carry out 1.3591 0.03703 259 182 61 16
677 It's a great decoy. . .works like charm every time! 1.3591 0.03861 259 186 53 20
678 For my birthday I wished to grow another 2 feet. 1.3591 0.03743 259 183 59 17
679 Zero respect since Jaws. 1.3585 0.03836 265 191 53 21
680 Professional courtesy - he's a lawyer. 1.3585 0.03761 265 189 57 19
681 Yeah, I’m embarassed, but it feels so good. 1.3585 0.03684 265 187 61 17
682 I'd eat him but I don't want to ruin my rideshare rating. 1.3585 0.03761 265 189 57 19
683 Today's beach buffet is standing room only. 1.3585 0.03295 265 190 60 15
684 Karma’s a bitch. 1.3585 0.03761 265 189 57 19
685 I picked up dinner 1.3585 0.03605 265 185 65 15
686 He says his name's Jonah 1.3585 0.03338 265 191 58 16
687 I told you they'd try to domesticate us next. 1.3585 0.03566 265 184 67 14
688 I have to stay still. He's already been calling for more friends to come play at the "sandbar". 1.3585 0.03645 265 186 63 16
689 The invitation said "bring a dish to pass." 1.3580 0.03919 257 186 50 21
690 What, do I have food all over my face? 1.3580 0.03596 257 178 66 13
691 The key is to give them a false sense of security. 1.3580 0.03445 257 182 61 14
692 Remember, it’ll take lots of responsibility to take him on walks every day. 1.3580 0.03679 257 180 62 15
693 I just like the top part. 1.3580 0.03720 257 181 60 16
694 Suzanne ate the top half. 1.3580 0.03841 257 184 54 19
695 I haven't yet had the appetite to tell him he lost his surfboard a few meters back. 1.3580 0.03761 257 182 58 17
696 If you wanted a fresh packed lunch Morty you should have brought one. 1.3580 0.03510 257 191 46 20
697 I can’t, it’s too easy. 1.3580 0.03841 257 184 54 19
698 I know! But his feet are really warm and, when he falls off, well, lunch! 1.3580 0.03720 257 181 60 16
699 It’s a condition of my parole, to prove that I can resist temptation. 1.3580 0.03801 257 183 56 18
700 '"Wait 'til he says Polo." 1.3574 0.03779 263 188 56 19
701 I had him stuffed and mounted as a trophy. 1.3574 0.03817 263 189 54 20
702 Yes, as a matter of fact, I do regret going Vegan. 1.3574 0.03662 263 185 62 16
703 Yeah, it looks annoying, but after he does his job, it's like a big buffet. 1.3574 0.03817 263 189 54 20
704 I decided to get carry-out from the beach. 1.3574 0.03855 263 190 52 21
705 What? He's my emotional support human. 1.3574 0.03740 263 187 58 18
706 I really don't like white meat. 1.3574 0.03817 263 189 54 20
707 I just love climate change. 1.3574 0.03855 263 190 52 21
708 Shh! He thinks I'm a sandbar. Don't spoil the surprise. 1.3574 0.03740 263 187 58 18
709 Want to help me ruin the summer tourist season? 1.3574 0.03701 263 186 60 17
710 Don't you try to shame me into sharing just because you forgot to pack a lunch. 1.3569 0.03780 255 181 57 17
711 The recipe calls for fifteen minutes of brining. 1.3563 0.03798 261 187 55 19
712 They taste terrible but you should see the look on their faces when they find out I’m not a rock 1.3563 0.03598 261 182 65 14
713 Don't knock it. This lure works much better than a bare fin. 1.3563 0.03598 261 182 65 14
714 I know, right? Second day as a vegan and already I'm being tempted. 1.3563 0.03759 261 186 57 18
715 I'd eat him but I think he was farm-raised. 1.3563 0.03874 261 189 51 21
716 It's an Androcles and the lion relationship. He pulled a plastic straw out of my gills. 1.3563 0.03321 261 183 66 12
717 Yea, I got approved to have an emotional support human. 1.3563 0.03836 261 188 53 20
718 I know you're not supposed to play with your food, but I can't help myself. 1.3563 0.03912 261 190 49 22
719 Would you get this guy off my back? 1.3563 0.03759 261 186 57 18
720 I'm just waiting for the rest of the beach crowd to think it's shallow water 1.3563 0.03836 261 188 53 20
721 Wanna split it? 1.3563 0.03759 261 186 57 18
722 You could've at least brought dessert. 1.3563 0.03719 261 185 59 17
723 It lulls them into a false sense of security. 1.3563 0.03557 261 181 67 13
724 I'm taking home the leftovers. 1.3563 0.03759 261 186 57 18
725 I carry him with me in case my blood sugar drops and I have to eat something quick. 1.3563 0.03639 261 183 63 15
726 Leftovers. 1.3553 0.04527 197 144 36 17
727 I bought it on sale, it was Half Off. 1.3552 0.03656 259 182 62 15
728 I just ate his wife, it's the least I could do. 1.3552 0.03816 259 186 54 19
729 He says we can’t close until your lawyer is here too. 1.3552 0.03855 259 187 52 20
730 You gotta stop letting people walk all over you, Jeff 1.3552 0.03816 259 186 54 19
731 I'd feel guitly eating someone so stupid. 1.3550 0.04090 231 167 46 18
732 5 second rule. 1.3550 0.03704 231 162 58 11
733 Something's been weighing on my mind recently ... 1.3544 0.05085 158 116 28 14
734 I told you vacationing at Sea World would be a mistake. 1.3542 0.03981 240 173 49 18
735 We're here for the Bar Association annual meeting. How about you? 1.3542 0.03981 240 173 49 18
736 Let him take a few selfies first. 1.3541 0.03755 257 183 57 17
737 It's a new game called 'Survival of the Idiot.' 1.3541 0.03914 257 187 49 21
738 No, no. On Fridays we can eat meat... 1.3541 0.03755 257 183 57 17
739 I’m sorry I am late but I picked up dinner on the way home. 1.3541 0.03715 257 182 59 16
740 Mr, Magoo here thinks I am a surf board. 1.3541 0.03835 257 185 53 19
741 And he's eating a tuna fish sandwich 1.3541 0.03835 257 185 53 19
742 I'm on the low ph diet. So I'll wait until he's finished peeing before I eat him. 1.3541 0.03632 257 180 63 14
743 My chiropractor said it’s good for my aching cartilage. 1.3541 0.03547 257 178 67 12
744 Of all the days to go vegan. 1.3541 0.03914 257 187 49 21
745 We're both warm blooded, but he's a lot dumber. 1.3541 0.03875 257 186 51 20
746 He’s started talking about his divorce and I just don’t have in me. 1.3541 0.03611 257 187 52 18
747 We do have a standing date for lunch, don't we? 1.3541 0.03673 257 181 61 15
748 tourist...am I right? 1.3541 0.03755 257 183 57 17
749 Money got a little tight so I signed up to be an Uber shark. 1.3520 0.03988 250 183 46 21
750 Gross. Callouses. 1.3520 0.03907 250 181 50 19
751 Sometimes I like to play with my food before I eat. 1.3520 0.03739 250 177 58 15
752 I ate the other half. 1.3520 0.03866 250 180 52 18
753 It's white male privilege 1.3520 0.03988 250 183 46 21
754 He's taking a selfie right now, isn't he? 1.3520 0.03652 250 175 62 13
755 He's just finishing up his goodbyes. 1.3520 0.03782 250 178 56 16
756 I'm saving the bottom half for later. 1.3520 0.03739 250 177 58 15
757 Get your own hood ornament! 1.3520 0.04068 250 185 42 23
758 Its an exercise in delaying gratification 1.3520 0.03907 250 181 50 19
759 Sometimes, it’s just too damn easy. 1.3520 0.03824 250 179 54 17
760 He's here to get a loan, 1.3520 0.03866 250 180 52 18
761 But you said to bring lunch 1.3520 0.03739 250 177 58 15
762 It’s a SHARK TANK audition. 1.3520 0.03866 250 180 52 18
763 Quick question. Can I get sick from eating someone who's "going viral"? 1.3520 0.03739 250 177 58 15
764 Of course I bring my own lunch. 1.3520 0.03739 250 177 58 15
765 I was saving him for later. 1.3520 0.03824 250 179 54 17
766 Do I look like a surfboard? I don't feel like a surfboard. 1.3520 0.03866 250 180 52 18
767 We need a Jaws reboot to teach this generation some respect. 1.3515 0.04270 202 145 43 14
768 When should we tell him that he's not on a sandbar? 1.3512 0.04338 205 149 40 16
769 I need to work on my fear of confrontation. 1.3496 0.03948 246 179 48 19
770 I wouldn’t mind so much if he cut his toe nails. 1.3496 0.03776 246 175 56 15
771 It's just professional courtesy. He's a lawyer. 1.3496 0.04031 246 181 44 21
772 I work for Uber now... 1.3496 0.03906 246 178 50 18
773 Hang on a minute. He’s almost worked out that knot.” 1.3496 0.03863 246 177 52 17
774 Human Week is the worst. 1.3496 0.03776 246 175 56 15
775 I'm sick of you looking at me like I'm a piece of meat, Kyle." 1.3496 0.03863 246 177 52 17
776 April Fools! I ate the top half! 1.3496 0.04031 246 181 44 21
777 They call it shark-surfing. Want to help teach him a lesson? 1.3496 0.03550 246 170 66 10
778 This kind of thing only happens now that I'm vegetarian. 1.3484 0.03705 244 172 59 13
779 I ate the top half. I'm full. You want the rest? 1.3484 0.04011 244 179 45 20
780 Professional courtesy, he's my lawyer. 1.3484 0.03883 244 176 51 17
781 I'll give you an arm and a leg if you can knock him off my back. 1.3484 0.03926 244 177 49 18
782 Right now, I'm playing with my food 1.3484 0.03817 244 177 50 17
783 It's called Ashiatsu, and it's heaven... so don't even think about it. 1.3484 0.03839 244 178 50 16
784 WAY too skinny for me. You want him? 1.3484 0.03926 244 177 49 18
785 I'm gonna charge an arm and a leg for this. 1.3484 0.04094 244 181 41 22
786 It’s Spielberg. Again. 1.3484 0.03705 244 176 51 16
787 I packed my snack for the trip. 1.3484 0.03839 244 175 53 16
788 I'm saving the leftovers for tomorrow. 1.3484 0.03839 244 175 53 16
789 Well, I would eat him, but he's scratching that itch even my remoras can't get to. 1.3484 0.03795 244 174 55 15
790 So anger management is going well. 1.3484 0.03839 244 175 53 16
791 I know what you’re thinking but it kinda feels good. 1.3484 0.03613 244 170 63 11
792 You have no idea what this anger management class has done for me! 1.3484 0.03839 244 175 53 16
793 He claims to be a pilot fish. 1.3484 0.03969 244 178 47 19
794 The dermatologist said it was benign. 1.3484 0.03795 244 174 55 15
795 I ate his surfboard and felt bad about it. 1.3484 0.03659 244 171 61 12
796 Back off. He’s my chum. 1.3484 0.03839 244 175 53 16
797 Bro, You can't eat him. It's Steven Spielberg! 1.3484 0.03969 244 178 47 19
798 Think cognitive dissonance. 1.3478 0.04248 207 150 42 15
799 It's a lure for boaters. I call it 'Bob'! 1.3471 0.03385 242 174 56 12
800 Hors d'oeuvre? 1.3471 0.03485 242 171 60 11
801 You go ahead. I'd prefer some finger food. 1.3471 0.03990 242 177 46 19
802 Augh, I caught it in NY. Long Island Sound is totally infested this time of year. 1.3471 0.03903 242 175 50 17
803 K. F. Sea had a special on their Thighs and Legs. 1.3471 0.03677 242 174 54 14
804 The tourists are here! 1.3471 0.03723 242 171 58 13
805 Those idiot resort dolphins talked me into this. 1.3471 0.03859 242 174 52 16
806 When you have kids, you'll know it's always important to carry some snacks with you. 1.3471 0.03990 242 177 46 19
807 Less scary when it's not a fin sticking out of the water 1.3471 0.03814 242 173 54 15
808 Look,I saved HALF for you! 1.3471 0.03769 242 172 56 14
809 What? Do I have something stuck in my teeth? 1.3471 0.03947 242 176 48 18
810 Crazy, 30 minutes walking on my back and I’m completely relaxed....I may not even eat him 1.3463 0.03739 231 167 50 14
811 Well, I guess I'm just more of a people pleaser than you. 1.3458 0.03923 240 174 49 17
812 The skinny ones aren't as tender, but they usually have fewer preservatives. 1.3458 0.03834 240 172 53 15
813 I'm his Emotional Support Animal....but you're not. 1.3458 0.04055 240 177 43 20
814 I swear, if they give dolphins credit for this, I'm eating the next one. 1.3458 0.04011 240 176 45 19
815 I invited him to dinner. I don't think he quite understood the repercussions. 1.3458 0.03879 240 173 51 16
816 They are dumber than I thought 1.3458 0.03968 240 175 47 18
817 They say if I stop swimming he’ll die. 1.3458 0.03968 240 175 47 18
818 My lawyer got the charge reduced to an “investigatory bite” provided I go through a tourist tolerance course 1.3458 0.03834 240 172 53 15
819 I brought carry-out. 1.3458 0.04055 240 177 43 20
820 I was an extra in Sharknado 6. True story. 1.3458 0.03695 240 169 59 12
821 “These millennials are so entitled.” 1.3458 0.03834 240 172 53 15
822 Some days being a vegan is harder than others. 1.3450 0.04005 229 166 47 16
823 They are completely unaware while posing for selfies. 1.3448 0.03969 232 168 48 16
824 I didn’t have the heart to tell him he can’t walk on water. 1.3448 0.03921 232 167 50 15
825 What was that movie that Grandpa starred in called again? 1.3448 0.03776 232 164 56 12
826 He isn't organic, but he is free range. 1.3448 0.03921 232 167 50 15
827 It is a fake! I use it to lure swimmers out where I can eat them. 1.3448 0.04062 232 170 44 18
828 Took you long enough, did you grab the fork and napkins? 1.3448 0.03969 232 168 48 16
829 I always wanted a periscope, 1.3445 0.03944 238 173 48 17
830 He thinks I’m a dolphin. 1.3445 0.03713 238 168 58 12
831 Yeah, I know, but I’m hoping he has a beer gut. 1.3445 0.03899 238 172 50 16
832 He thinks I'm a lone shark. 1.3445 0.03807 238 170 54 14
833 He's a lawyer. 1.3445 0.03853 238 171 52 15
834 I got mine to go. 1.3445 0.03807 238 170 54 14
835 I just ate the top half, it scares the daylights outta them! 1.3445 0.04033 238 175 44 19
836 I brought dinner home. 1.3445 0.03899 238 172 50 16
837 Once again, looks like you got more of it on you than in you. 1.3445 0.03616 238 177 48 13
838 Do you smell something? 1.3445 0.04098 238 179 37 22
839 Working for Uber is so so, but the tips are pretty tasty. 1.3445 0.04033 238 175 44 19
840 Is he wild or farm raised? 1.3445 0.03989 238 174 46 18
841 Give a shark a man and it eats for today. Teach a shark to lure other men and ... well you get the idea. 1.3445 0.03899 238 172 50 16
842 Best.decoy.ever. 1.3445 0.03989 238 174 46 18
843 Sometimes they're just asking for it. 1.3445 0.03807 238 170 54 14
844 No, I'm actually a hammer toe 1.3445 0.03807 238 170 54 14
845 Watch this. If a dog can do it with a treat on his nose... 1.3445 0.03989 238 174 46 18
846 Tell me honestly, do you think I have started to lose my killer instinct? 1.3445 0.03899 238 172 50 16
847 Yeah, so I’ve been Uber-ing on the weekends. 1.3445 0.03944 238 173 48 17
848 I like to fool people into thinking this is the shallow end of the pool. 1.3445 0.03665 238 167 60 11
849 I got it through Amazon. You blow it up and they can't see your fin. 1.3445 0.03944 238 173 48 17
850 Can you see if he's wearing a Yankees hat? 1.3445 0.03944 238 173 48 17
851 He’s waving frantically, right? Good. His friends will arrive soon and then we’ll REALLY have a feast. 1.3445 0.03899 238 172 50 16
852 Wait, that’s what chum means? 1.3442 0.03970 215 153 50 12
853 Summer people. 1.3435 0.04038 230 168 45 17
854 I'm his emotional support shark. Really. 1.3435 0.03990 230 167 47 16
855 I'm full. I'm taking this half home for the wife. 1.3435 0.03942 230 168 46 16
856 Wanna come over to my place? I have takeout 1.3435 0.03894 230 165 51 14
857 I'm sorry I ever got friendly with a lifeguard. I can't get him off my back. 1.3435 0.03795 230 163 55 12
858 I know, but he's nice and I'm so done with being dangerous. 1.3434 0.04490 198 147 34 17
859 He’s working on a hamburger up there. I’m trying to fatten him up. 1.3432 0.03919 236 171 49 16
860 All I could find for lunch was this take-out 1.3432 0.03731 236 167 57 12
861 I'm telling you, it's Spielberg. He's casting Son of Jaws and wants to see what I can do. 1.3432 0.03731 236 167 57 12
862 Why do I always end up carrying all the groceries in? 1.3432 0.04099 236 175 41 20
863 You go ahead...they get stuck in my teeth. 1.3432 0.03682 236 166 59 11
864 When the rides over, he'll know it. 1.3432 0.03826 236 169 53 14
865 Which leg do you want? 1.3432 0.03779 236 168 55 13
866 Trust me; this is the most humane way. 1.3432 0.03873 236 170 51 15
867 He scratches the spot I can't reach. 1.3432 0.03583 236 164 63 9
868 Apparently we're serial predators and need to create a less-hostile beach environment. 1.3432 0.03803 236 171 50 15
869 I've been waiting on you. Which leg do you want. 1.3432 0.03731 236 167 57 12
870 Da dumb, da dumb, da dumb 1.3432 0.03965 236 172 47 17
871 He promised me a part in a movie. 1.3432 0.03731 236 170 54 12
872 Of course it's degrading. But Sea World auditions, here I come. 1.3432 0.03965 236 172 47 17
873 Don't ask. He's an admissions officer at USC. 1.3432 0.03873 236 170 51 15
874 Now you jump the human. 1.3432 0.03919 236 171 49 16
875 I got the patch. I'm trying to quit. 1.3432 0.03919 236 171 49 16
876 Did I mention he is now topless. 1.3432 0.03507 236 170 54 12
877 Strong under-toe this time of year, huh? 1.3432 0.03942 236 174 44 18
878 He thinks he's standing in shallow water. 1.3421 0.04060 228 167 44 17
879 Now watch carefully, Andy, next comes the fun part. 1.3421 0.03964 228 165 48 15
880 I couldn't finish the bottom half, so I'm taking it home for later. 1.3421 0.04154 228 169 40 19
881 Uber Eats at your service! 1.3421 0.04012 228 166 46 16
882 It started out as a wart on my dorsal. 1.3421 0.04012 228 166 46 16
883 In the mood for a slider? 1.3421 0.04060 228 167 44 17
884 See! Humans ARE dumb enough to use UberShark. 1.3421 0.04084 228 170 39 19
885 It's part of a new program to change our image. 1.3421 0.03865 228 163 52 13
886 I promised him a ride before lunch. 1.3421 0.03815 228 164 51 13
887 It's the pizza guy with dinner. I had a swimmer for lunch. 1.3421 0.03764 228 161 56 11
888 I've got humans. You should get yourself checked. 1.3421 0.03764 228 161 56 11
889 Do you prefer the leg or thigh? 1.3421 0.03764 228 161 56 11
890 She asked me to grab some carryout tonight. 1.3421 0.03865 228 163 52 13
891 This is so embarrassing. Tell the dolphins we want to switch back. 1.3419 0.03987 234 171 46 17
892 My therapist says I'm a little too empathetic. 1.3419 0.03675 234 167 55 12
893 It was my turn to bring lunch, wasn't it? 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
894 The massage is very relaxing, but I'm looking forward to the happy ending. 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
895 I told you Felix, you have to eat at least one or they’ll walk all over you. 1.3419 0.03700 234 165 58 11
896 Yeah, but my back has never felt better." 1.3419 0.03846 234 168 52 14
897 He's so asking for it. 1.3419 0.03700 234 165 58 11
898 I don't know why. Some guy named Jesus asked me to do this. 1.3419 0.03987 234 171 46 17
899 With this stunt, I think we've finally jumped the shark! 1.3419 0.03846 234 168 52 14
900 I'm a victim of compassion 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
901 Well, you know the old expression, "Ignorance is bliss- until it's not." 1.3419 0.03846 234 168 52 14
902 Has he never seen Jaws? 1.3419 0.03893 234 169 50 15
903 Don't eat him till he finishes rubbing my back. 1.3419 0.03798 234 167 54 13
904 Everyone has baggage. 1.3419 0.03798 234 167 54 13
905 He's my old chum. 1.3419 0.04210 234 176 36 22
906 Dinner will be ready in fifteen … 1.3419 0.03987 234 171 46 17
907 Today's special is the Surf and Turf 1.3419 0.04078 234 173 42 19
908 Flip for it? 1.3419 0.03470 234 173 47 14
909 Looks like you get the bottom half. 1.3419 0.03798 234 167 54 13
910 You ordered a medium,with no anchovies,right? 1.3419 0.03700 234 165 58 11
911 He’s on his mobile. Doesn’t realize the sand bar is now moving 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
912 The secret is to brine the legs. 1.3419 0.03940 234 170 48 16
913 I’m waiting for my musical cue. 1.3419 0.04032 234 172 44 18
914 What really irks me is that if our positions were reversed, they'd harpoon my ass. 1.3419 0.03846 234 173 45 16
915 The ‘swim-with-the-sharks’ folks have really become entitled. 1.3419 0.04078 234 173 42 19
916 Of course I'm not happy with this relationship. I always have the feeling he's looking out for something better. 1.3419 0.03650 234 169 52 13
917 It's crazy, but he looks out for me. 1.3419 0.03987 234 171 46 17
918 “Some body’s a little more than knee deep in troubled waters.” 1.3419 0.03700 234 165 58 11
919 I hate it when they take all the challenge out of it. 1.3419 0.03798 234 167 54 13
920 You were late, so it’s Take Out. 1.3419 0.03893 234 169 50 15
921 Is this the future of climate change? 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
922 I type feet porn in to google ONE TIME and now I get this everyday. 1.3407 0.04083 226 166 43 17
923 I said I’d split it with you... 1.3407 0.03985 226 164 47 15
924 I think it helps our image. 1.3407 0.04369 182 131 40 11
925 And me without my Grey Poupon. 1.3405 0.03866 232 167 51 14
926 Sure, I could eat him, but as an Uber driver I can't really afford the lower rating." 1.3405 0.03817 232 168 50 14
927 I'm gonna swish this guy right offa my fin, and send him on his way." 1.3405 0.03512 232 176 42 14
928 Want to hear about my new balanced diet? 1.3405 0.03817 232 166 53 13
929 He's lucky I already ate a quarter flounder for lunch 1.3405 0.03817 232 166 53 13
930 But he's nothing but skin and bones! 1.3405 0.03817 232 166 53 13
931 I don't like their taste, but I love the naïveté. 1.3405 0.04100 232 172 41 19
932 Do you prefer the breast or the thigh? 1.3405 0.03866 232 167 51 14
933 Market price is $8.99/lb. 1.3405 0.03914 232 168 49 15
934 I've been swimming for Swyft a few months now, and posting reviews of my clients on Gulp. 1.3405 0.03961 232 169 47 16
935 Don’t worry about fixing dinner. I brought home takeout. 1.3405 0.04146 232 173 39 20
936 I had a hat like that last week. 1.3405 0.04190 232 174 37 21
937 Ew! Get it off me, get it off me! 1.3405 0.03914 232 168 49 15
938 I need to learn to use the word “no” more often. 1.3405 0.03817 232 166 53 13
939 Our deal: Skinny lawyer calls for help and we eat tender lifeguard. 1.3405 0.03866 232 167 51 14
940 You bring the salad, I’ve got the main course 1.3405 0.03866 232 167 51 14
941 You’re my witness. This one was provoked. 1.3405 0.04054 232 171 43 18
942 I think he’s confused me with a dolphin. 1.3405 0.04008 232 170 45 17
943 They said 'Don't go near shore' . Did I listen - Nooo… 1.3405 0.03817 232 166 53 13
944 He thinks I'm his attorney. 1.3405 0.04100 232 172 41 19
945 With the orcas leaving, there’s an opening at SeaWorld.” 1.3401 0.05153 147 109 26 12
946 No thanks, I'm full of plastic bags. 1.3395 0.03962 215 154 49 12
947 He thinks I'm a sandbar. Make a wish. 1.3395 0.03464 215 165 39 11
948 He's not just a friend, he's my best chum. 1.3395 0.04329 215 161 35 19
949 On the other hand, my back has never felt better. 1.3395 0.04070 215 156 45 14
950 I regret going vegan. 1.3395 0.04278 215 160 37 18
951 I like to play with my food first. 1.3391 0.04030 230 169 44 17
952 Why do I always have to carry the decoy? 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
953 His balance is unnerving. 1.3391 0.03528 230 159 64 7
954 I always use the skinny ones as bait. 1.3391 0.03634 230 161 60 9
955 Excuse me, did you order the caucasian male? 1.3391 0.03686 230 162 58 10
956 You said we weren't exchanging gifts this year! 1.3391 0.03983 230 168 46 16
957 I'll eat him after my massage. 1.3391 0.03983 230 168 46 16
958 Just picking up a little takeout for the family. 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
959 Sure, it’s humiliating, but it feels great! 1.3391 0.03837 230 165 52 13
960 Let's flip him for it. 1.3391 0.03686 230 162 58 10
961 I'm packing my lunch today. 1.3391 0.03787 230 164 54 12
962 He thought I was just a helpful dolphin and now I’m afraid to tell him the truth 1.3391 0.03737 230 163 56 11
963 C'mon, when do we let him know we're not dolphins ? 1.3391 0.03837 230 165 52 13
964 Tee-hee, he thinks he's still on his surfboard... 1.3391 0.03837 230 165 52 13
965 I got carryout. 1.3391 0.03787 230 164 54 12
966 Sometimes they tip, sometimes I eat them. 1.3391 0.04123 230 171 40 19
967 My wife insisted I bring my own lunch to work... 1.3391 0.03935 230 167 48 15
968 You wanna hear the punchline or are you going to keep interrupting me? 1.3391 0.03983 230 168 46 16
969 After the backrub, I'll have my lunch. 1.3391 0.03935 230 167 48 15
970 Sometimes I pity their naiveté. 1.3378 0.03992 225 164 46 15
971 I would kill him if I didn’t respect him. 1.3378 0.03788 225 160 54 11
972 Where the hell have you been? My shift's been over for 5 minutes. 1.3378 0.03942 225 163 48 14
973 No, he’s not a lawyer. He’s my agent. 1.3370 0.04660 184 138 30 16
974 Think of it as bait. 1.3363 0.03826 226 162 52 12
975 I can't seem to shake the feeling that I've been taken for a ride. 1.3363 0.03774 226 161 54 11
976 I've got a foot fetish. 1.3333 0.03955 219 159 47 13
977 You forgot to pack a lunch? 1.3333 0.04161 219 163 39 17
978 Another lawyer catching a free ride. 1.3333 0.04007 219 160 45 14
979 Yeah, a stand up comic, but I'll get the last laugh. 1.3333 0.03955 219 159 47 13
980 'cuz you are what you eat 1.3333 0.04679 186 141 28 17
981 It's supposed to be a decoy that attracts other swimmers. 1.3333 0.04059 219 161 43 15
982 It's Barnacle Bill again. 1.3333 0.04010 186 140 35 11
983 I hope you don't mind fast food tonight. 1.3333 0.04161 219 163 39 17
984 You want the leg or the breast? 1.3333 0.03737 219 155 55 9
985 What hood ornament?" 1.3333 0.04007 219 160 45 14
986 Just when he thought it was safe to go back in the water. 1.3333 0.04007 219 160 45 14
987 I know, Mom, "quit playing with my food." 1.3333 0.04059 219 161 43 15
988 Say what you will, but I believe finding a friend trumps finding a meal. 1.3333 0.03955 219 159 47 13
989 Take a good look. He's about to undergo an Extreme Mako-ver. 1.3333 0.04211 219 164 37 18
990 I just can't bring myself to eat him. I like the thrill of the hunt. 1.3333 0.04007 219 160 45 14
991 It's a new ride-share offering by Uber. 1.3318 0.03868 217 156 50 11
992 How many times have I told you to not play with your dinner? 1.3318 0.03812 217 155 52 10
993 You want him? I'm still digesting his wife. 1.3318 0.04134 217 161 40 16
994 I stopped eating meat but I can't seem to get it off my mind. 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
995 I always like to bring my own lunch to school. 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
996 Allow me to cull this one from the herd. 1.3318 0.03640 217 152 58 7
997 I'm saving this half for dinner. 1.3318 0.03922 217 157 48 12
998 Yeah, the ashiatsu massage helps temporarily but I think taking human cartilage supplements is what has truly healed my arthritis. 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
999 Yeah, I'm going to eat him, but right now this feels AMAZING on my sciatica. 1.3318 0.03976 217 158 46 13
1000 I think I’ve been attacked by a hammertoe. 1.3318 0.04082 217 160 42 15
1001 I told you I'd find my sea legs! 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
1002 He thinks he's wading. I hate to disappoint him. 1.3318 0.03976 217 158 46 13
1003 Just saving this for dessert. 1.3318 0.04082 217 160 42 15
1004 Well I'm hungry, too, but this really gets the kinks out of my back. 1.3318 0.03976 217 158 46 13
1005 Free fish or not, if this crowd sings BABY SHARK one more time... 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
1006 He must be a Republican 1.3318 0.04336 217 165 32 20
1007 I wasn't in the mood to cook tonight ... so I just ordered in. 1.3318 0.03976 217 158 46 13
1008 You just move like a surfboard until your hungry. 1.3318 0.04108 211 155 42 14
1009 It's for a documentary. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
1010 Law of attraction, my friend. 1.3318 0.04216 211 157 38 16
1011 Can you believe this guy doesn’t clip his toenails before hitting the beach? 1.3318 0.04270 211 158 36 17
1012 I signed up as an uber driver. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
1013 Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all: 'I hear you should always eat a balanced diet'; 'It's good to support your food choices; or 'He's a lawyer; professional courtesy'... Let's hope the winning entry is more original! 1.3318 0.04053 211 159 36 16
1014 I'm brown bagging it today. 1.3318 0.03764 211 149 54 8
1015 I got a job as a surfboard. 1.3318 0.03823 211 150 52 9
1016 ...and if I balance him on my head for 10 seconds, then toss him up and catch him, I win the bet, right? 1.3318 0.03940 211 152 48 11
1017 I liked it better in the Jaws era when we got some respect. 1.3318 0.04108 211 155 42 14
1018 It's how big? That's odd because it feels more like two feet to me. 1.3318 0.03418 211 151 53 7
1019 Get your own Lean Cuisine. 1.3318 0.03940 211 152 48 11
1020 I joined Uber's new water program. If I don't get five stars, I eat him. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
1021 They pee on us every day and then wonder why we’re so mean. 1.3318 0.04108 211 155 42 14
1022 A lot of trouble for toothpicks. 1.3318 0.04163 211 156 40 15
1023 Freeloader. 1.3318 0.03764 211 149 54 8
1024 I know, I know... I’m going to the dermatologist to get it checked out. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
1025 I like to weigh my food first...you know portion control. 1.3318 0.03940 211 152 48 11
1026 Let him finish his text. 1.3318 0.03940 211 152 48 11
1027 "You want half?" 1.3318 0.03764 211 149 54 8
1028 No, he's the one who needs a bigger boat. 1.3318 0.03940 211 152 48 11
1029 Was the top half tasty? 1.3302 0.03832 215 154 51 10
1030 It's like Uber Eats only quicker. 1.3302 0.04106 215 159 41 15
1031 I like to start with a false sense of security! 1.3302 0.03944 215 156 47 12
1032 Suddenly, he's not half the man he used to be, oh yesterday came suddenly. 1.3302 0.03998 215 157 45 13
1033 He’s holding me down. I’m very bloated. 1.3302 0.03944 215 156 47 12
1034 He calls it "shark surfing," I call it "toppings." 1.3302 0.04106 215 159 41 15
1035 This is what I get for hiring a reputation management consultant. 1.3302 0.03832 215 154 51 10
1036 It's not my fault you ate your chiropractor. 1.3302 0.04106 215 159 41 15
1037 Watch this! I saw a dog do it. They put a biscuit on his nose and... 1.3302 0.03998 215 157 45 13
1038 She's a lawyer, so it's a professional courtesy on my part. 1.3302 0.04106 215 159 41 15
1039 In a minute he's going to discover there's another definition of 'chum'. 1.3302 0.03998 215 157 45 13
1040 Don't tell me I never bring you gifts. 1.3302 0.03832 215 154 51 10
1041 It's the new rideshare, 'Unter'. 1.3302 0.04461 215 166 27 22
1042 I've tried everything. I have an appointment with my dermatologest next week to have it removed 1.3302 0.04106 215 159 41 15
1043 He said his big brother was, like, twice as fat. So, we are going over to where he’s swimming. 1.3302 0.03944 215 156 47 12
1044 You take the left, I'll take the right 1.3301 0.03961 209 151 47 11
1045 Well he was floundering and I don’t care what Spielberg says, I’m no monster 1.3301 0.04296 209 157 35 17
1046 I know we said we weren't going to eat any humans this summer but if he starts to pee I'm gonna lose it... 1.3301 0.03844 209 154 44 11
1047 I decided to pack a lunch today. 1.3301 0.03903 209 150 49 10
1048 It sounds like screaming, but that's just the sound they make when dropped in the water 1.3301 0.04019 209 152 45 12
1049 It's okay. I appreciate not being stereotyped. 1.3301 0.03844 209 149 51 9
1050 Okay, Okay, Okay...I am a humanitarian...Is there a problem? 1.3301 0.03783 209 148 53 8
1051 Why can't I play with my food? 1.3301 0.04076 209 153 43 13
1052 Dolphins, yes, but I also blame the breakdown of traditional aquatic values. 1.3286 0.04235 213 160 36 17
1053 How was the top half? 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1054 No, really, it's the best invertebrate deep tissue massage there is. 1.3286 0.04183 213 159 38 16
1055 No, leave him alone. He's really helping my back problem. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1056 As a lawyer, he is one of us. 1.3286 0.04235 213 160 36 17
1057 The fin isn't intimidating anymore 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1058 The Dr. said take two of these and call him in the morning. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1059 I’m saving half my snack for later. 1.3286 0.04183 213 159 38 16
1060 It's my emotional support prey. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
1061 First a massage, then dinner. 1.3286 0.04183 213 159 38 16
1062 I just can't shake this feeling that I'm missing the obvious. 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1063 Do you want to tell him? 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1064 It just started out as a barnacle.... 1.3286 0.03823 213 155 47 11
1065 So here I am, asking the Sea Witch to give me legs... 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1066 I had to give him a minute because he wants a selfie. 1.3286 0.04235 213 160 36 17
1067 I wasn’t hungry so I got it to go 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1068 I'm saving it for a mid-afternoon snack. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
1069 I just remembered why we never stop swimming. 1.3286 0.03965 213 155 46 12
1070 Peek up there and see if anyone's noticed the top half is missing. 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1071 I want to eat him but hes growing on me.... 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1072 I don't know if I should eat him or enjoy the back massage. 1.3286 0.03794 213 159 42 12
1073 Nothing quite like a foot massage and then dinner. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1074 White men can’t jump. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1075 I’m just going to eat in today. I brought my lunch. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
1076 I feel responsible for him now. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1077 I brought you the fresh catch of the day 1.3286 0.03965 213 155 46 12
1078 Ironically, he's a shark spotter. 1.3286 0.03794 213 152 52 9
1079 I know it's dangerous, but I just love the thrill of it all. 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1080 He's an attorney and my mentor. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
1081 You already had your half. 1.3286 0.04235 213 160 36 17
1082 What? Do I have a booger or something? 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1083 Wait'll you see his face when he realizes he's not on a rock. 1.3286 0.03675 213 155 48 10
1084 And we would have been on TV too, if Alabama Public Television didn't take exception to the fact that we're both male. 1.3286 0.04287 213 161 34 18
1085 I'm taking him home for dinner. 1.3286 0.03909 213 154 48 11
1086 He's a human who can stand sharks, so I support him. 1.3286 0.03794 213 152 52 9
1087 Don't look at me like that. He'll be more tender not so worn out. 1.3286 0.03852 213 153 50 10
1088 I feel as though I’ve got a monkey on my back. 1.3286 0.03852 213 153 50 10
1089 He's an old chum of mine. 1.3286 0.03794 213 152 52 9
1090 We actually get along ok; he's a lawyer. 1.3286 0.04183 213 159 38 16
1091 I learned it from a duck hunter I ate. 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1092 Make all the fun you want—my chiropractor said it'll help! 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1093 Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.' 1.3286 0.03794 213 152 52 9
1094 I get hypoglycemic. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1095 It's the best kind of hood ornament--edible. 1.3286 0.04075 213 157 42 14
1096 Because he asked politely. 1.3286 0.03852 213 153 50 10
1097 Hop on," I said. "Come join the circle of life. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
1098 I just couldn't. It's Bobby Darin. 1.3286 0.04183 213 159 38 16
1099 His idea is to jump from one of us to the other and back, for the idiots watching through the glass. Let's drop him. 1.3284 0.05482 134 102 20 12
1100 He wants to compete but can't afford a surfboard 1.3271 0.04218 214 161 36 17
1101 These Internet challenges are getting out of hand! 1.3270 0.04313 211 160 33 18
1102 If you like bones start with his feet. 1.3270 0.03872 211 152 49 10
1103 Sorry I already ate the top half. 1.3270 0.04365 211 161 31 19
1104 I swear, if he calls me Flipper one more time... 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1105 Suit yourself, but Shiatsu is the only thing that restores my Qi. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1106 I can't believe you ate yours already. We were supposed to meet for dinner. 1.3270 0.04207 211 158 37 16
1107 Amazon delivery of your Mako-at-Home Meal Kit 1.3270 0.03505 211 151 53 7
1108 It was either him . . . or a tracking collar! 1.3270 0.03872 211 152 49 10
1109 I 'm saving the other half for later 1.3270 0.03930 211 158 39 14
1110 Doesn’t he hear the music? 1.3270 0.04313 211 160 33 18
1111 I put in a standing order for meat, and this is what happened. 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1112 I like the skin nice and crispy. 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1113 You asked for take-out. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1114 How did they ever dominate the world when they are not that bright! 1.3270 0.03872 211 152 49 10
1115 Ok, stop messing with me . You seriously don’t see anything at all on my back? I sure as heck feel something 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1116 I have to take these leftovers home for the newborn. 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1117 Just watch. This will go viral. 1.3270 0.04043 211 155 43 13
1118 It's symbiotic. He gets chicks, and I eat them. 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1119 I am getting cold feet 1.3270 0.03813 211 151 51 9
1120 I hate this diet... 1.3270 0.04207 211 158 37 16
1121 Call me old fashioned, but I was fine with the pilot fish. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1122 Honey, come on in! It's not that deep! 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1123 Uber Eats.....what can I say, it's a living! 1.3270 0.04043 211 157 40 14
1124 I saved the best part for last ! 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1125 I got the idea from Uber. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1126 The dolphins told me this would be fun. 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1127 What happened to yours? 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1128 If he gives me less than four stars I'm going to eat him. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1129 It's my new "Meat, Greet, and Eat service." 1.3270 0.04043 211 155 43 13
1130 He promised me a cut when they come watch him walk on water. 1.3270 0.03872 211 152 49 10
1131 We're going to need a bigger ocean. 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1132 Yeah, my wife made me take a lunch today. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1133 No, sorry. I'm saving this half for later. 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1134 I saved this part for you. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1135 Want to join me for dinner? 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1136 I took my lunch to go. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1137 I always pack a lunch. 1.3270 0.04043 211 155 43 13
1138 He's running for Congress. Testing the waters. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1139 I’m using him as a lure. 1.3270 0.03930 211 153 47 11
1140 I hate these swim with the sharks days. 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1141 It's an eatable back scratcher" 1.3270 0.04043 211 155 43 13
1142 No hurry. He’s wading for Godot.” 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1143 You can have this half, I’m full 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
1144 I swear . . . it's not what you think. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1145 He’s not using me, our love is real. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
1146 Did you forget lunch? 1.3270 0.04153 211 157 39 15
1147 Have you ever seen that trick where you put a treat on a dog's nose? 1.3270 0.04207 211 158 37 16
1148 Now that they all have cell phones, the thrill of the hunt is gone. 1.3264 0.05105 144 108 25 11
1149 As above, so below. 1.3262 0.04191 187 136 41 10
1150 Normally I would, but it actually feels very good. 1.3252 0.04048 206 151 43 12
1151 My level of intimidation has dramatically decreased. 1.3235 0.04130 204 151 40 13
1152 stop showing off and just eat him 1.3235 0.04071 204 150 42 12
1153 Trying to convince his friends it’s only 3 feet deep. 1.3235 0.03951 204 148 46 10
1154 We had a much better turnout at last week's 'Yoga with Sharks' class. 1.3235 0.04130 204 151 40 13
1155 I'm part of his walk on water trick. 1.3235 0.03889 204 147 48 9
1156 Is it just me or are we losing some of our fear factor to plastic pollution? 1.3235 0.04188 204 152 38 14
1157 I got some carryout. 1.3235 0.03951 204 148 46 10
1158 I'm not hungry, but this guy deserves to die. 1.3218 0.04214 202 151 37 14
1159 You eat yet? 1.3218 0.03847 202 145 49 8
1160 I'm doing this for Lent. 1.3218 0.03973 202 147 45 10
1161 I'm playing a long game. 1.3214 0.04302 196 147 35 14
1162 Heads or tails? 1.3214 0.04020 196 145 40 11
1163 Mate, you've still got a bit of food on you... 1.3214 0.04052 196 143 43 10
1164 It’s all part of a balanced diet. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
1165 I like foot massages. 1.3214 0.03921 196 141 47 8
1166 I wish he'd jump already. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
1167 I've got this guy right where I want him. 1.3214 0.04179 196 145 39 12
1168 Are you sure these are the toppings we ordered? 1.3214 0.04116 196 144 41 11
1169 We have a standing dinner date. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
1170 And they wonder why we attack. 1.3214 0.03571 196 141 50 5
1171 The problem with this generation is they didn't grow up watching Jaws. 1.3214 0.04116 196 144 41 11
1172 He ain't heavy, he's my Darwinian brother... 1.3214 0.04241 196 146 37 13
1173 Rideshare app 1.3214 0.04422 196 149 31 16
1174 But he's the only one who's ever made me happy! 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
1175 I was always told that we were on top of the food chain. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
1176 I got take out. 1.3200 0.03932 200 145 46 9
1177 He doesn't know he's in over his head. 1.3200 0.04470 200 154 28 18
1178 I had just eaten and he asked me nicely. 1.3200 0.03995 200 146 44 10
1179 It's like migraine, a sudden weight on the back of my head. 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
1180 Fine, don’t guess. I’m Carmen Miranda. 1.3200 0.04119 200 148 40 12
1181 I hate 'Shark Week' 1.3200 0.03995 200 146 44 10
1182 The top half was pretty good. Saved you the legs and thighs. 1.3200 0.04179 200 149 38 13
1183 I've got a busy day so I brought my lunch. 1.3200 0.03802 200 143 50 7
1184 I saved you the legs. 1.3200 0.04356 200 152 32 16
1185 I ate the top part and I'm saving this for later. 1.3200 0.04119 200 148 40 12
1186 Can you hear his accent? I think we’re somewhere on Oklahoma. 1.3200 0.03932 200 145 46 9
1187 First, I'll tickle his toes, then ... 1.3200 0.04057 200 147 42 11
1188 That top half was filling. I'm saving these leftovers for tomorrow's breakfast. 1.3200 0.03867 200 144 48 8
1189 Help yourself, I’ve already had my half. 1.3200 0.03932 200 145 46 9
1190 Does it make me look younger? 1.3200 0.03867 200 144 48 8
1191 I'm still waiting for the Jaws music to kick in. 1.3200 0.03867 200 144 48 8
1192 He thinks he's hanging ten, but when I get through with him it'll be more like two. 1.3200 0.04179 200 149 38 13
1193 One trip to SeaWorld and you think you're a dolphin. 1.3200 0.04298 200 151 34 15
1194 Its like Uber, but with stronger incentives for good tips 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
1195 Watch this. 1.3182 0.04384 198 151 31 16
1196 I’m waiting until he drops the child 1.3182 0.04384 198 151 31 16
1197 It's times like this that really make me regret going vegan. 1.3182 0.04325 198 150 33 15
1198 It's new bait to fish for humans. 1.3182 0.04143 198 147 39 12
1199 It's the eagle holding his upper body upright who I feel sorry for. 1.3182 0.03953 198 144 45 9
1200 He's on top of me, isn't he? 1.3182 0.04081 198 146 41 11
1201 I'm using his GPS. 1.3182 0.04081 198 146 41 11
1202 This idiot thinks I am his surf board. 1.3182 0.03888 198 155 31 12
1203 He's found the sweet spot. I can't reach him. 1.3163 0.04104 196 145 40 11
1204 I find them really useful as bait. 1.3163 0.03975 196 146 41 9
1205 The woman he was with was actually quite tasty. 1.3163 0.04168 196 146 38 12
1206 You’ve got to be kidding. A great white? 1.3163 0.04230 196 147 36 13
1207 So who's the Great White these days? 1.3163 0.04040 196 144 42 10
1208 His phone isn’t waterproof. 1.3163 0.03975 196 143 44 9
1209 It's just a snack for later. It won't "ruin my dinner," mom. 1.3163 0.04291 196 148 34 14
1210 The wife was in the mood for tourist." 1.3163 0.03807 196 143 45 8
1211 Why don’t you tell him I’m not a sand bar 1.3163 0.04168 196 148 35 13
1212 I packed a lunch today, it's cheaper than eating out. 1.3163 0.04230 196 147 36 13
1213 I'm not hungry and my back feels great. 1.3163 0.03909 196 142 46 8
1214 Look, man, depression has hit me hard. I just don't have the energy anymore to even bite. 1.3163 0.03909 196 142 46 8
1215 His arms were delicious but I had to save the rest for later. 1.3163 0.04230 196 147 36 13
1216 I ordered Chinese. 1.3163 0.04291 196 148 34 14
1217 I'll tolerate him for a while since he thinks he is swimming with the dolphins. Then I'll grab a leg. Want the other? 1.3163 0.04230 196 147 36 13
1218 I just feel like my food choices are weighing me down 1.3163 0.04104 196 145 40 11
1219 I’m taking this one to go. 1.3141 0.04105 191 141 40 10
1220 The kids call it "Sharking." 1.3141 0.04237 191 143 36 12
1221 Yeah, but if I don't deliver it in 30 minutes or less, it's free. 1.3141 0.04428 191 146 30 15
1222 What he doesn't know if, after the massage, I get a happy ending. 1.3141 0.04365 191 145 32 14
1223 what? 1.3141 0.03898 191 138 46 7
1224 I do this for an arm and a leg. 1.3141 0.04172 191 142 38 11
1225 We're bartering. I get a barefoot massage. He gets to swim back to shore. 1.3141 0.04037 191 147 33 11
1226 I want to eat him, but then I'll have to wait 30 minutes until I can go swimming. 1.3141 0.03968 191 139 44 8
1227 He's a chiropractor. I'll eat him once he's finished adjusting me. 1.3141 0.04105 191 141 40 10
1228 Hey Sal, Do I have food on my head? 1.3141 0.04302 191 144 34 13
1229 Uber doesn't care if you're a shark. 1.3141 0.04138 191 144 35 12
1230 And after the massage, there'll be a full course meal. 1.3141 0.04172 191 142 38 11
1231 Don’t tell him! 1.3141 0.03285 191 145 38 8
1232 I like a massage before my meal. 1.3141 0.04365 191 145 32 14
1233 So I thought Why not take-out tonight ? 1.3141 0.04037 191 140 42 9
1234 Don't attack him, the foot massage feels great. 1.3141 0.04105 191 141 40 10
1235 Join me for lunch? 1.3141 0.04365 191 145 32 14
1236 He keeps singing "Why not take all of me". 1.3141 0.04302 191 144 34 13
1237 Do you think it’s malignant? 1.3141 0.04302 191 144 34 13
1238 If I can't see him, I won't eat him. 1.3141 0.04237 191 143 36 12
1239 I'll hold off on attacking until after he posts on Instagram. 1.3141 0.04105 191 141 40 10
1240 See? They are not all blood-thirsty monsters. 1.3141 0.04037 191 140 42 9
1241 I'm emotionally attached because years ago when I was really hungry he gave me a hand. 1.3128 0.04299 195 148 33 14
1242 I don't care which cultures still eat our fins, I'm not gonna racially profile this guy! 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1243 You have Chip on your shoulder. 1.3125 0.04282 192 145 34 13
1244 What did you do with yours? 1.3125 0.04282 192 145 34 13
1245 I don't agree with everything he says, but I do support his platform." 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1246 I ordered take out. 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1247 I'm giving intermittent fasting a try. 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1248 Since I hired him to be my lookout, I’ve stopped scaring the swimmers away. 1.3122 0.04329 189 143 33 13
1249 I'm a breast man myself. Do you want a leg? 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1250 Oh, him? I just signed up to be a Lyft driver. 1.3122 0.04329 189 143 33 13
1251 He must be an attorney. He seems very comfortable in this environment. 1.3122 0.04329 189 143 33 13
1252 He's giving a speech on how sharks keep oceans clean. Professionally, I'm on the horns of a dilemma. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1253 Say when 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1254 Mom always put extra snacks in my back pack 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1255 It's a human decoy I made. Everyone thinks it's safe and pile into the water and then we feast. 1.3122 0.04329 189 143 33 13
1256 Oh, the quandary this poses. The Internet say,"For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks." 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1257 I can't make it any easier for you , can I ? 1.3122 0.03991 189 138 43 8
1258 And I thought barnicles were a bummer. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1259 I told him he should just jump the shark already but, he didn't get it. 1.3122 0.03991 189 138 43 8
1260 The guy at the store said you need to keep the head as dry as possible, but I just know I'm going to forget. 1.3122 0.03919 189 137 45 7
1261 Grab one and make a wish. 1.3122 0.03698 189 144 35 10
1262 I can’t break his heart, he thinks I’m a dolphin. 1.3122 0.04060 189 139 41 9
1263 Don't eat my emotional support animal! 1.3122 0.04163 189 143 34 12
1264 There is a $10 delivery fee 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1265 Let’s wait til he finishes his cigarette. 1.3122 0.04197 189 141 37 11
1266 We won the surfing contest. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1267 We met on a fetish site. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1268 I enjoy lulling them into a false sense of security. 1.3122 0.03847 189 136 47 6
1269 One lousy surfer and I get 300 hours of community service. 1.3122 0.03810 189 143 36 10
1270 I would, but his arm only got one star on Yelp. 1.3122 0.03991 189 138 43 8
1271 I saved the bottom half for you- I knew it is your favorite. 1.3122 0.03919 189 137 45 7
1272 I know it's tempting, but I'm on this new gluten-free diet. 1.3122 0.04197 189 144 34 11
1273 Do you want him? He supposedly has bone spurs!! 1.3122 0.04329 189 143 33 13
1274 Yes, I suppose I could use some assertiveness training. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1275 Vinny's experience with a lone shark did not go as planned. 1.3122 0.04393 189 144 31 14
1276 They do takeout. 1.3122 0.03991 189 138 43 8
1277 I think you should know that this guy has a spear gun pointed at you and perhaps you should take a swim back to your own waters . 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1278 He's doing something called "selfie?" 1.3122 0.04060 189 139 41 9
1279 It's today's special. Surf & Turf. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1280 I’m a pacifist. 1.3122 0.04520 189 146 27 16
1281 He wants to impress some woman. We all know how that is. 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1282 We have to throw it back. It's under the weight allowance. 1.3122 0.04393 189 144 31 14
1283 I bought my own lunch today. 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1284 And now, what the hell do I do? 1.3122 0.03991 189 138 43 8
1285 There’s gotta be, like, a million things I could do to this idiot to get on “Shark Week.” 1.3122 0.04263 189 142 35 12
1286 It's bring your lunch to school day. 1.3122 0.04457 189 145 29 15
1287 You're late for dinner. 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1288 I've tried everything, but I can't get this monkey off my back. 1.3122 0.04129 189 140 39 10
1289 I can’t remember if I’m supposed to stop swimming, play dead or rap him on the nose. 1.3122 0.04457 189 145 29 15
1290 It was my therapist's idea. 1.3122 0.03919 189 137 45 7
1291 I hate the gig economy. 1.3115 0.03766 183 140 33 10
1292 It's symbiotic for now. I'm not making any promises. 1.3115 0.04073 183 134 41 8
1293 He's heavy, but he's a great decoy. 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
1294 I think can we can take the mixed doubles water ballet title, if I can control my appetite. 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
1295 I always bring a snack. 1.3115 0.03923 183 132 45 6
1296 Shorts week 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
1297 I ate the last two, so the resort put me on probation. 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
1298 Until Shark Week starts filming again, I have to make ends meet by providing ride-sharing for swimmers. 1.3103 0.04511 174 132 30 12
1299 Hey, Dad. He followed me home. Can I keep him? 1.3102 0.03941 187 136 44 7
1300 I know it's not bacon, but it looks delicious. 1.3102 0.04084 187 138 40 9
1301 Do you ever feel like “the man” is always on your back? 1.3102 0.04222 187 140 36 11
1302 I’m on Step 9, Making Amends. 1.3102 0.04290 187 141 34 12
1303 It’s not what it looks like - I’m taking him to lunch. 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1304 I don’t know, I guess I’m just not that hungry. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1305 Do I have a pimple on my back? 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1306 I say it's a 60% - 40% split since he is standing on me! 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1307 I'll consume him in due time. Finish your story. 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1308 It's just the old bait and switch. 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1309 Give him a break. The guy lost his surfboard. 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1310 Going vegan is much more annoying than I thought it would be. 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1311 When should I break the news to him that the dolphins are in the other tank? 1.3081 0.04581 185 144 25 16
1312 Luckily for me, Uber's driver background checks are rather lax. 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1313 I use him as my look out - the fin thing is just too much of a give-away. 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1314 No! You ate the top half! 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1315 Should I tell him? 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1316 Are you interested in the leftovers? 1.3081 0.04036 185 136 41 8
1317 Here comes the triple flip. I'm going for a vertical entry with this one. 1.3081 0.04517 185 143 27 15
1318 I just let him think we have a ‘special bond’ then I’ll eat him. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1319 Did you enjoy the top half? 1.3081 0.04283 185 142 30 13
1320 Its a symbiotic relationship, he gets to swim without getting tired and I get to eat him when he's done. 1.3081 0.04108 185 145 28 12
1321 Should I break it to him? 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1322 It's customary to tip for your grubhub delivery 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1323 It was either this or the chiropractor. 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1324 it's only my second week, but I'm already finding it really hard to be vegan 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1325 I'm starting a balanced diet today. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1326 We're gonna need a bigger ocean. 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1327 The salesman said it would be less conspicuous than a fin. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1328 I stopped by the shore on my way home. Thought you might like this. 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1329 Technically, we would remain vegan because he was. 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1330 It's working, Ralph. He's telling everyone to come out and stand on this sandbar ! 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1331 My ad was supposed to say ‘Wanted: Sucker Fish’, but in print it got cut off... 1.3081 0.04179 185 143 29 13
1332 Not a fan of legs and thighs, you? 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1333 Where have you been? Dinner's ready. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1334 No, honey, it's not an affair, just a great little massage. 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1335 They're much more comfortable approaching since I got the doll. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1336 Open real wide now. When I go low, you go high! 1.3081 0.04517 185 143 27 15
1337 Hey, wanna play wishbone? 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1338 My psychiatrist recommended exposure therapy to combat my compulsive overeating. 1.3081 0.04036 185 136 41 8
1339 I know, honey, I know. But, we have just got to watch the carbs. 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1340 Just wait until he finds out I'm not a dolphin. 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1341 Professional courtesy. We might need a good lawyer some day. 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1342 Yeah, I just don't have the heart, OK? His glasses fell off, then he started swimming in my direction yelling here Flipper, here boy! 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1343 I know you hate talking about dinner plans when we’ve just had lunch... 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1344 A little nip on the ankle should get him off my back. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1345 He thinks he's my surf buddy, but he's just chum. 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1346 You know you can just eat him, right? 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1347 He's making a sequel to "Jaws" and I am auditioning for the lead. 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1348 Hey, you promised dessert if I brought the entree. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1349 Get it off, get it off, get it off! 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1350 I’m waiting for him to get off his phone. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1351 Please go up and see if he's as bony as he feels. I'm on a low-fat diet. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1352 Works such a drag, I just can’t get this guy off my back! 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1353 I'm waiting for a seal, they have more meat on them !! 1.3081 0.04036 185 136 41 8
1354 His feet stink like the Bronx so maybe he tastes good, too. 1.3081 0.04770 185 147 19 19
1355 What?! You have a problem with carry-out? 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1356 I'm carrying 125 pounds in the finals of the handicapped shark races. How about you? 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1357 What do you say we see how he hangs five? 1.3081 0.04317 185 140 33 12
1358 Of course we’ll eat him, but let him adjust my spine first 1.3081 0.04451 185 142 29 14
1359 These millennials think they're entitled to everything. 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1360 Poor guy thinks he’s walking on water... at least he’ll go out in style. 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
1361 You should start packing a lunch too. 1.3081 0.04384 185 141 31 13
1362 I can't shake him. How did you get rid of yours? 1.3081 0.04108 185 137 39 9
1363 I lost a bet to a vulture. He gets to go first. 1.3081 0.04179 185 138 37 10
1364 I packed a lunch. 1.3081 0.03962 185 135 43 7
1365 An hour a week and the back’s good as new. 1.3081 0.03887 185 136 42 7
1366 It's either this or pain pills. 1.3060 0.04059 183 135 40 8
1367 Yeah, it's great, I make my own hours and eat on the job! 1.3060 0.04132 183 136 38 9
1368 I've really lost the urge since I can't hear the theme music. 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1369 Professional respect...he's a lawyer. 1.3060 0.04021 183 137 37 9
1370 I disagree. I think this ride shark service could habe some legs to it. 1.3060 0.04204 183 137 36 10
1371 I’m sorry man, but I can’t do it without the music 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1372 I'm just keeping him fresh for dinner when I get hungry. 1.3060 0.04344 183 139 32 12
1373 He thinks I'm sandbar, and now I don't have the heart. 1.3060 0.04344 183 139 32 12
1374 He complained about the rate so I told him I'd take half off. 1.3060 0.04344 183 139 32 12
1375 No, ma! I won't stop playing with my food! 1.3060 0.04059 183 135 40 8
1376 matter of fact, no, i’m a man-standing shark. 1.3060 0.04204 183 137 36 10
1377 Bait. The fin was a dead giveaway. 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1378 Hi, I have an Uber Eats order for Bruce 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1379 Uber Eats delivery. 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1380 It's my first time as an Uber driver, but if I get humgry it's all over. 1.3060 0.04741 183 145 20 18
1381 More effective than hot rocks and tastes better too. 1.3060 0.03984 183 137 39 7
1382 Uber shark food delivery ... here's your order. 1.3060 0.04132 183 136 38 9
1383 I brought you leftovers... 1.3060 0.04059 183 135 40 8
1384 Snacks on me! 1.3060 0.04344 183 139 32 12
1385 This intermittent fasting is getting harder and harder. 1.3060 0.04275 183 138 34 11
1386 It's an Uber experimental ride-share-eat option. 1.3060 0.04204 183 137 36 10
1387 So I was just swimming around flossing my jaws with a trash sign that read “Rides for food” when his idiot just hopped on me. You wanna do lunch? 1.3046 0.05060 151 118 20 13
1388 Drumstick? 1.3039 0.03850 181 135 36 8
1389 You should see him from the waist up. 1.3039 0.04044 181 138 33 10
1390 I know he's heavy, but you should see my abs. 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
1391 Why don't they ever talk about our good qualities? 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
1392 He’s gonna be surprised when he finds out I’m not Shamu. 1.3034 0.04422 178 136 30 12
1393 Trust me, it’s a great way to lure the others. 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
1394 I'd take his legs off, but he's scratching a spot I can't reach. 1.3034 0.04564 178 138 26 14
1395 Fast food to go! 1.3034 0.04048 178 131 40 7
1396 Can you finish the rest? I just wanted the wings and breast. 1.3034 0.04564 178 138 26 14
1397 Call PR...aren’t they supposed to be scared of us! 1.3034 0.04422 178 136 30 12
1398 I'm on a balanced diet. 1.3034 0.04048 178 131 40 7
1399 I like to mess with them a little before I take a bite. 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
1400 Here's your Uber Eats Delivery" 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
1401 Last client of the day. 1.3034 0.03362 178 132 43 3
1402 You can start with the drumsticks 1.3034 0.03888 178 139 30 9
1403 Out of the Way! He is one of us, Binsky just passed the Bar. 1.3034 0.04701 178 140 22 16
1404 "Your delivery of a gluten-free person for dinner." 1.3034 0.03968 178 130 42 6
1405 The family meal always ends up being too much food. 1.3034 0.04048 178 131 40 7
1406 It's good for my core. 1.3034 0.04494 178 137 28 13
1407 It's take-out tonight. End of discussion. 1.3034 0.04633 178 139 24 15
1408 Word is, Sharkworld may raise our pay to $15 per hour, plus chum. 1.3034 0.04701 178 140 22 16
1409 I might be hungry later. 1.3034 0.04048 178 137 32 9
1410 I've lost my edge! 1.3034 0.04422 178 136 30 12
1411 Sorry, I can't go out to lunch today. I brought leftovers. 1.3034 0.04350 178 135 32 11
1412 He loves the ocean, but he can't swim. 1.3034 0.04202 178 133 36 9
1413 I don't know if I should eat him or rescind his pro-surfer's certificate. 1.3034 0.04276 178 134 34 10
1414 I'm evolving. 1.3034 0.04276 178 134 34 10
1415 I'm making extra money as a uber driver. 1.3034 0.04564 178 138 26 14
1416 I 'm taking a course in Anger Management" 1.3034 0.04633 178 139 24 15
1417 Bad hair day 1.3034 0.03805 178 135 36 7
1418 If anything, it's a conflict of interest. 1.3034 0.03968 178 130 42 6
1419 I met him in my “Vegan for Dummies” cooking class. 1.3034 0.04633 178 139 24 15
1420 I thought you said to pack a lunch? 1.3034 0.03888 178 129 44 5
1421 I got us takeout. 1.3034 0.04276 178 134 34 10
1422 Apparently this is an example of what is known as "Florida Man". 1.3030 0.04502 165 125 30 10
1423 Time to let him know I'm not a dolphin. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1424 It's rebranding - folks were starting to have a negative association with the fin. 1.3023 0.04296 172 129 34 9
1425 I just picked up dinner. 1.3023 0.04296 172 129 34 9
1426 The vet said I have to start lifting weights. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
1427 It’s a symbiotic relationship 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1428 Yeah, I'm doing a gig now for Uber Eats. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1429 It's symbiotic. He eases my back pain, and I don't eat him. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
1430 And his feet are all slimy and gross, too! 1.3023 0.03836 172 131 33 8
1431 Stop judging my taste in symbiotic relationships! 1.3023 0.04602 172 133 26 13
1432 You got some food on your face. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1433 I just hate those skinny bones stuck in my throat. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1434 Some fins wrong. I'm just not sure what. 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
1435 Do you want to join me for dinner? 1.3023 0.03746 172 130 35 7
1436 I'm sick of shark week. 1.3023 0.04296 172 129 34 9
1437 Global warming is bringing them out earlier in the season. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1438 God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for this food. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1439 I used to think "When your a shark you're a shark all the way", but now I dunno 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
1440 Who takes "Jumping the shark" literally? 1.3023 0.04009 172 128 37 7
1441 It was a typo-the email said “shark attach”. 1.3023 0.04009 172 128 37 7
1442 In the good old days, it was an albatross around the neck. 1.3023 0.03791 172 128 38 6
1443 And I had to pick this week to go vegan! 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1444 Do you ever feel like the man is holding you down? 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1445 Lyft was hiring. I needed money. Don't mess this up for me. 1.3023 0.03880 172 128 38 6
1446 Nah, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1447 He does not take advantage of me! It's a symbiotic relationship. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
1448 It's a new ride share program called SCUBER. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1449 I just love this place. Every massage comes with a free meal. 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
1450 Haven't you ever heard of a symbiotic ashiatsu relationship? 1.3023 0.03560 172 135 28 9
1451 So I guess now I'm a HammerToe Shark? 1.3023 0.04527 172 132 28 12
1452 I know, I know; but he said he could get me on ‘Shark Tank’! 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1453 But I can't do it. He's so clueless and trusting. 1.3023 0.04135 172 127 38 7
1454 If this doesn’t get us on the caption contest, I don’t know what will. 1.3023 0.04527 172 132 28 12
1455 Compliments of the Chef 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
1456 Bite me in the snout next time I say work well with people. 1.3017 0.03950 179 131 42 6
1457 Have you met Finn? 1.3011 0.04452 176 135 29 12
1458 Let’s see if he can swim with one leg.” 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1459 I'm not hungry. Are you? 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1460 I call it my "Scenic Dinner Cruise". I'm the cruise part. 1.3011 0.03990 176 129 41 6
1461 I'm trying a new approach, because those suck-up dolphins aren't getting killed for their fins. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1462 Some situations really test my decision to go vegan. 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1463 I swim carefully, but they rarely give me five stars. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1464 Tell me the truth: have I gained weight? 1.3011 0.03650 176 135 33 8
1465 The Twelve Apostles still think He can walk on water... 1.3011 0.04071 176 130 39 7
1466 I wish he'd stuck with goat yoga. 1.3011 0.04150 176 137 28 11
1467 He's my attorney 1.3011 0.04524 176 136 27 13
1468 I just don't have the heart to tell him he's in too deep. 1.3011 0.03908 176 128 43 5
1469 I still don't get why my folks told me not to play with my food. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1470 Something like this happens every time I try to quit. 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1471 I just know I’m going to get Athlete’s Fin from this.” 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1472 On the count of 3... 1.3011 0.04524 176 136 27 13
1473 He's my brother-in-law. I tried to talk her out of it, but she said I was exhibiting a species bias. 1.3011 0.04031 176 136 28 11
1474 I thought I’d try an edible back massager 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1475 He is going to have a sinking feeling soon... 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1476 He's all yours... I am a "breast guy" ! 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1477 Leftovers. Why do you ask? 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1478 I'm not hungry, but I don't think I can pass up the teachable moment. 1.3011 0.04071 176 130 39 7
1479 It's only humiliating if you don't eat him afterwards. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1480 He said he needs to finish tweeting first. 1.3011 0.04071 176 130 39 7
1481 I'd say it's a fair exchange--he scratches my back and I don't eat him. 1.3011 0.04071 176 130 39 7
1482 As a support shark I get into the movies for free. 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1483 Shall I tell him, or should you? 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1484 My generation always swam against the current in freezing water to hunt for food. Your soft generation lays around in globally-warmed water waiting for delivery. 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1485 I'm about to give him a fish pedicure he won't ever forget. 1.3011 0.04189 176 134 32 10
1486 I told you we look like surfboards 1.3011 0.04665 176 138 23 15
1487 Climate change. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1488 I brought the hors d'oeuvre. 1.3011 0.04452 176 135 29 12
1489 He said he was a lawyer, so I knew he was one of us. 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1490 Just in case I get hungry later. 1.3011 0.03824 176 127 45 4
1491 Man, that damn 'Shark Tale" movie really killed our street cred. 1.3011 0.03990 176 129 41 6
1492 I don’t know how much longer I can take working under this guy! 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1493 I found him on decoys.com 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1494 ''I owe him 'cause I ate his surfboard.'' 1.3011 0.03824 176 127 45 4
1495 If he shouts 'Hey, Bro!--Who's the Man!' one more time, let's snap him in half! 1.3011 0.04452 176 135 29 12
1496 When do you think I should tell him? 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1497 This one's O.K. The last guy was wearing cleats. 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1498 I can’t stand this anymore, and they wonder why we bite them from time to time ! 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1499 My PR team thought it would help soften my image. 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1500 My therapist recommended this mental exercise. 1.3011 0.04452 176 135 29 12
1501 I’m working on a balanced diet. 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1502 You've got to believe me,it's completely platonic. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1503 We make a wish, and then we each grab an end… 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1504 Goat yoga is so passé 1.3011 0.04595 176 137 25 14
1505 Actually, I think I prefer Rolfing. 1.3011 0.04303 176 136 30 10
1506 Talk about a false sense of security! 1.3011 0.04303 176 133 33 10
1507 He works on my back and I don't eat him. 1.3011 0.03824 176 127 45 4
1508 I've become a bottom feeder. 1.3011 0.04227 176 132 35 9
1509 There is no other half. 1.3011 0.04150 176 131 37 8
1510 Yes, he's adopted. How did you know? 1.2989 0.04175 174 130 36 8
1511 White privilege, need I say more? 1.2989 0.04699 174 137 22 15
1512 He says he's honoring me by 'standing on the shoulders of greatness.' 1.2989 0.04331 174 132 32 10
1513 I'll take this half to go 1.2989 0.04253 174 131 34 9
1514 This intermittent fasting is killing me. 1.2989 0.04175 174 130 36 8
1515 ‘’Just another passing fad…like planking …sigh.” 1.2984 0.05245 124 95 21 8
1516 I told you meeting Aquaman would be a disappointment. 1.2965 0.04118 172 128 37 7
1517 He tells everyone he's the "great white one". 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
1518 Ashiatsu. Works out my aggressions. 1.2965 0.04359 172 133 28 11
1519 My therapist says I need to be less reactive. 1.2965 0.04035 172 127 39 6
1520 He Is Heavy, He Ain’t My Brother. 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1521 He’s right on top of me, isn’t he? 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
1522 No, I know he's there, but sometimes I just want to have to work for it. 1.2965 0.03949 172 126 41 5
1523 You’re holding up dinner. 1.2965 0.04035 172 127 39 6
1524 Yes I’m giving him a ride. You’ve never heard of SCUBER? 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1525 I can't. We've bonded. 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1526 I know it’s a cliché, but yes, he’s a lawyer. 1.2965 0.04512 172 133 27 12
1527 I hope he will attract a plumper one. 1.2965 0.04118 172 133 30 9
1528 When did you get that 4th gill? 1.2965 0.04359 172 139 20 13
1529 It really helps my back! 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1530 They call it shark pilates. 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 32 9
1531 Yeah, I prefer wings. 1.2965 0.04035 172 127 39 6
1532 He made a bet that he could walk on water. I get a cut if he wins. 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1533 I hate being vegan.... 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1534 You wanted the lower torso, right? 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
1535 He's on Retainer. 1.2965 0.04200 172 129 35 8
1536 It's a temporary symbiotic relationship; he likes to surf, I like to eat. 1.2965 0.04200 172 129 35 8
1537 Not happy about this gig economy I find myself in. 1.2965 0.04512 172 133 27 12
1538 I could be here a while. He’s reading the Mueller Report. 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1539 I'm thinking of writing a country music song about it. 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
1540 I know this area is for members only--I'm about to take care of that. 1.2965 0.04200 172 129 35 8
1541 Legs or thighs? 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1542 He's soooo worth it when I get an itchy fin. 1.2965 0.03343 172 131 34 6
1543 I love to watch their face when they slip 1.2965 0.04200 172 129 35 8
1544 I have to swim constantly anyway, so really the new gig economy is working for me. 1.2965 0.04035 172 127 39 6
1545 He’s telling everyone that he’s a standup comic. Is there such a thing? 1.2965 0.04280 172 130 33 9
1546 It’s an Uber pilot program. 1.2945 0.03787 163 122 36 5
1547 Tell them you're a vegetarian and they think they can walk all over you. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1548 Simple. We bet, He won. 1.2945 0.04076 163 125 30 8
1549 I ordered it to go. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1550 Just toying with him before my dinner 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1551 This is my friend Larry. He’s not much of a swimmer.” 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1552 Are you sick of white meat? 1.2945 0.04076 163 120 38 5
1553 I told you that it was all over when they started with that swimming with the dolphins thing. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1554 Say what you will about chiropractors... 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1555 My shrink is calling it "exposure therapy". 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1556 Give these humans an inch and they walk all over you. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1557 He thinks he's safe on a rock; I'm saving him for our family frenzy at suppertime. 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
1558 Yeah, it's kinda like uber. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1559 Got drunk, lost a bet, its hell... 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1560 He calls himself the "Shark Whisperer". I'm going to wait until there's a huge crowd and then I'll rip him to shreds. 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1561 I know ... But I like ... how he rubs my neck ... 1.2945 0.04076 163 120 38 5
1562 Okay, flip him. Heads he’s mine, tails he’s yours 1.2945 0.03685 163 130 28 5
1563 Yes, Modell, I am going to eat it. If you want a piece, just ask! 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1564 Did you order the thighs? 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1565 It started out as a rash. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1566 I’m working on my instant gratification issues 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1567 I’m starting to rethink my “friends not food” mantra. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1568 I know, but he satisfies an itch. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1569 Well, I say just because I'm a sand shark doesn't mean you can walk all over me! 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1570 His feet feel really nice on my back, but I also want to eat him. 1.2945 0.04517 163 127 25 11
1571 My chiropractor says this helps. 1.2945 0.03982 163 119 40 4
1572 Get ready. These decoys really draw them in. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1573 I find it much more convenient to pack a lunch. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1574 He doesn't believe me when I say, 'Get off my back.' 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1575 It's supposed to be like goat yoga. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1576 Ah, ha, ha, I fooled you! This is the bottom half of the guy I bit in two off Florida! 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1577 A balanced diet is always best! 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1578 Lenny, you do realize they can see through the tank... right? 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1579 Finders, keepers! 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1580 Wanna a Bite? 1.2945 0.04840 163 129 20 14
1581 It’s too easy! 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1582 Yep, another hitchhiker. He thinks I'm taking him to Hawaii. Dinner at 7?" Sunil Mahtani, Westport, CT sm@kingfisherinvestors.co 1.2945 0.03581 163 120 40 3
1583 Yeah, I'm hungry... but where's the sport in it? 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1584 He’s made no eye contact whatsoever and has been on the phone since he stepped off shore! 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1585 No thanks I have my own lunch. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1586 He knows it's dangerous, but sometimes the only way to keep your head above water is a loan shark. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1587 Will you judge me if I drop him? 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1588 I’m lulling him into a false sense of security. 1.2945 0.03982 163 119 40 4
1589 Yes, Steve, I do know this looks bad, and no, I do not have a plan to resolve this amicably. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1590 I call it lifeguard bating. 1.2945 0.04122 163 123 33 7
1591 It's all I can get after that Katy Perry gig. 1.2945 0.04302 163 125 29 9
1592 Swimming with the sharks, he calls it. To think I left a good job at Sea World for this. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1593 It's Hemingway's great grandson. 1.2945 0.03130 163 135 22 6
1594 I hate it when lawyers go on vacation and think they’re one of us. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1595 Yes, I am saving it for later. 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1596 So how do you like my new periscope? 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1597 You've heard of the marshmallow test? If I wait, a second one will come along and I can eat both of them. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1598 Wanna see me flip him into my mouth whole? The look of fear and surprise is delightful. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1599 No, really! The guy in the white coat said if I hold off for 15 minutes, I can have two. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1600 But I did get the better half! 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1601 I'm rethinking this Uber gig. 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
1602 I found him first. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1603 “I know it’s a mannequin. I’m fishing for lifeguards.” 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1604 For being a Shepard of the sea, Aquaman is kinda an ass 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1605 I might as well come out and admit it. I feel that I 'm a dolphin. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1606 I'm off probation after my community service hours are completed. 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1607 And the bottom half makes a one-of-a-kind hat. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1608 Your order is here. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1609 If I don't carry a snack for the kids I can't even get them out of the bay 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1610 It is proprietary. I think this idea has legs. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1611 Morty, be honest.... does this pair of human legs make me look fat? 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1612 Standing room only. 1.2945 0.04122 163 123 33 7
1613 Marco? 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1614 When do we let him know he's not standing on a rock? 1.2945 0.04389 163 126 27 10
1615 He's not heavy. He's my brother up the food chain. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1616 I have a family to feed. 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1617 I had the top half for lunch, the bottom half I'm saving for supper. 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
1618 Not only that, he's spinning a hula hoop. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1619 Cirque de Soleil. Avoid 'em--it's like chewing on a broomstick. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1620 Our deal is that he scratches my back, and I don't scratch his. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1621 I was told it was potluck. 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1622 It's a perfect meal. Surf & Turf. 1.2945 0.04168 163 126 28 9
1623 Just play along. Dinner is later. 1.2945 0.04076 163 122 35 6
1624 Snack time! Ready? on 1...2...3! 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1625 Please don’t eat my therapy human this time, Steve. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1626 It's called "delayed gratification". 1.2945 0.03982 163 119 40 4
1627 It was either this or goat yoga. 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1628 I decided to go with Lyft. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1629 I had a big breakfast, but I'll be hungry again in an hour. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1630 Looks like someone is getting excited for People Week... 1.2945 0.04600 163 126 26 11
1631 No, Frank, you can't "borrow" my emotional support animal. 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1632 If I hear "nice hat!" one more time... 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1633 I think of it as the massage lunch package. 1.2945 0.04761 163 128 22 13
1634 I ordered Uber eats and got Uber lift instead. 1.2945 0.03581 163 120 40 3
1635 Airbnb. The wife's idea. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1636 If he thinks he’s on a surfboard, he’s in for a big surprise!! 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1637 We're a duo - I've got the fins, he's got the shins... for now. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1638 Because they taste better when they're really fresh. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1639 Working for Uber Eats has really helped pay down my student loan debt. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1640 I'm not distracted, I've just got a lot on my mind. 1.2945 0.04122 163 123 33 7
1641 This will keep it fresh until we get home and eat. 1.2934 0.04357 167 127 31 9
1642 Humans, always looking out for danger when it's right under their feet. 1.2934 0.04439 167 128 29 10
1643 I feel like I forgot something... 1.2934 0.04012 167 123 39 5
1644 Are you hungry for schmuck? 1.2934 0.04519 167 129 27 11
1645 So, I get this sonar call, I show up at some spot, someone climbs aboard and off we go. 1.2934 0.04357 167 127 31 9
1646 I'm no marine biologist but this doesn't feel like a sucker fish. 1.2934 0.04273 167 126 33 8
1647 These days you just look at an endangered species and The Man will be ridin’ your back for years” 1.2934 0.04101 167 129 29 9
1648 He says that if I support him it will improve our reputation. 1.2934 0.04188 167 125 35 7
1649 That's when I get this sense of things being unreal and I feel detached from myself and I just don't know what to do. 1.2934 0.04188 167 125 35 7
1650 Weight-bearing exercise is super important as you get older. 1.2934 0.04357 167 127 31 9
1651 Camouflage. 1.2934 0.04101 167 124 37 6
1652 Since I started seeing him three times a week, my neck is 100% better. 1.2917 0.04167 168 126 35 7
1653 I don't have the heart to tell the guy that he's no longer standing on a sandbar. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
1654 Okay, yes I'm using a decoy. Some of us are not as fast as we used to be. 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
1655 No kidding? I've never tried shiatsu. 1.2917 0.04334 168 128 31 9
1656 Too skinny. I’m gonna throw this one back. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
1657 Yeah Jack. All they see from shore is a guy bobbing around having fun. It's my sure-fire meal ticket! 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
1658 Here you go. Thanks for calling GrubHub. 1.2917 0.04652 168 132 23 13
1659 He’s my emotional support pet, or if that doesn’t help, a midday snack. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
1660 Hungry? I just ate his other half. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
1661 I'm saving it for a snack attack. 1.2917 0.03992 168 123 39 5
1662 On 3. 1...2... 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1663 Its something called ride sharing. 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1664 The surfboard was very filling. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1665 How long have you been an Uber Shark? 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1666 I don’t get it. This massage thing is just not what it’s cracked up to be. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1667 Eat this guy, will ya. I can't shake him. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1668 The worst part is his feet smell. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1669 Don’t judge me. I think we can make this relationship work. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1670 We're both vegan. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1671 Dude gives me a back massage and I don’t eat him, fair deal? 1.2909 0.03598 165 125 35 5
1672 Sometimes you get exactly what you wish for. 1.2909 0.04125 165 128 28 9
1673 I didn't believe in chiropractors either. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1674 I'm saving this half for brunch. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1675 Works great for my sciatica. 1.2909 0.04125 165 123 36 6
1676 Dinner is served Madam. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1677 I picked up dinner on the way home. 1.2909 0.04034 165 122 38 5
1678 He keeps calling me Flipper. I'm playing along until lunchtime. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1679 One leg, his Instagram goes viral, and I'm the bad guy. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1680 I ate his surfboard. Now what? 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1681 He wants me to swim near the surface so he can impress some chick Mary Magdalene... 1.2909 0.04788 165 131 20 14
1682 This is why I don't come to New York anymore, it's just not a challenge here. 1.2909 0.04034 165 122 38 5
1683 Every time I go on a diet, temptation comes a clompin'." 1.2909 0.03598 165 125 35 5
1684 I picked up lunch for you 1.2909 0.03894 165 123 37 5
1685 He thinks he is standing on the bottom. Watch this! 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1686 The ones trying to swim with us are a little more satisfying. Less fat, more filling. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1687 I brought home takeout. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1688 Back off -- where are we gonna find another chiropractor? 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1689 It's just easier than carrying a lunch sack. 1.2909 0.03941 165 121 40 4
1690 I don’t have the heart to tell him. 1.2909 0.04034 165 122 38 5
1691 I’ve taken a job with Lyft! 1.2909 0.04213 165 123 34 7
1692 It’s from that new take-out place down the beach. I’ll let you know later if it lives up to the buzz. 1.2909 0.04213 165 126 31 8
1693 I have to digest his surfboard before I eat him. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1694 port-a-snack 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1695 He thinks he's standing on the bottom. We can dine when the others arrive. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1696 I tried being nice to him for once, and now he won't leave me alone. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1697 Please don't eat him. My back has never felt so good. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1698 AND TODAY'S SPECIAL APPETIZER,,HOMME. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1699 I knew I it was a mistake to go Vegan. 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1700 After he gives me shiatsu, I'm giving him a pedicure. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1701 My headache's gone. 1.2909 0.04169 165 126 31 8
1702 I have to replace the board I damaged 1.2909 0.03042 165 130 29 6
1703 I’d dump him, but turns out he does wonders for my sciatica. 1.2909 0.04034 165 122 38 5
1704 They’re endangered 1.2909 0.03598 165 130 28 7
1705 I'm not holding him up, he thinks he's holding me down. 1.2909 0.04034 165 122 38 5
1706 Ok fine, as long as it won’t spoil your dinner. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1707 You wanna take him for a while. I gotta keep movin’. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1708 It feels so good when he wiggles his toes. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1709 He's the best ashiatsu massage therapist outside of Cancun. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1710 This guy just won't get off my back - can you give him a scare? 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1711 I thought you said it was a potluck. 1.2909 0.04125 165 123 36 6
1712 I didn’t have a choice - I ate his surfboard! 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1713 I'm his Uber diver. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1714 He's a cousin of ours - a loan shark. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1715 I think they’re taking this “apex predator” thing a little too far. 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1716 If I move, do you think he’ll yell SHARK? 1.2909 0.03332 165 130 28 7
1717 Don’t ask. It’s Brexit. 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1718 Shark surfing is trending. You free for dinner? 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1719 Isn't this what you wanted for dinner? 1.2909 0.03749 165 119 44 2
1720 When you said "meet me at noon" I didn't realize it was for lunch. 1.2909 0.03941 165 121 40 4
1721 I like to play with my food before eating it. 1.2909 0.04125 165 123 36 6
1722 I'd eat him except he has our cell phone. 1.2909 0.04034 165 128 29 8
1723 I’m stuffed. Would you like the other half? 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1724 Will you get this guy off my back please? 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1725 I carry my lunch. 1.2909 0.04469 165 127 28 10
1726 I told him that if he doesn’t get off my back, I’m going to eat him. But I didn’t tell him that I’m going to him anyway. 1.2909 0.04257 165 127 29 9
1727 Be honest, is the hat too much? 1.2909 0.04034 165 127 30 8
1728 You can have the first bite. 1.2909 0.04631 165 129 24 12
1729 I'm just giving him a lift before I have a bite to eat. 1.2909 0.04300 165 125 32 8
1730 You know the one about the scorpion and the frog? 1.2909 0.04385 165 126 30 9
1731 He’s afraid of water over his head. Sharks, not so much. 1.2909 0.04125 165 123 36 6
1732 Should I let him finish his hot dog first? 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1733 I'm bringing the food. Did you get the drinks? 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1734 Well, Darren, maybe this is my happy place. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1735 I know I look funny but you wouldn't believe the reception. 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1736 I owe him. I ate his ex-wife. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1737 Go ahead, I had a late lunch. 1.2909 0.03941 165 121 40 4
1738 On the count of three, let’s grab lunch. 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1739 One more lawyer joke and he’s toast. 1.2909 0.04631 165 129 24 12
1740 It's BYOB, right? 1.2883 0.04824 163 130 19 14
1741 Why does stupid taste so good? 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1742 Wow, the odds of being stepped on by a human is a million to one, we should play powerball this week. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1743 Yeah, you just sign up through the ridesharing app. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1744 He thinks I am an Uber 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1745 He's free-range, humanely raised, and non-GMO. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1746 Look...I did not go vegan because it was going to be easy, Walter! 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1747 I know you told me not to give it a name... 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1748 Dinner, ma'am , freshly served. 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1749 If he calls me Flipper one more time... 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1750 The lack of respect for the environment is getting out of control 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1751 So then he looks at his cellphone and says, "You must be my Uber Fish." 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1752 Do you want to break it to him...or should I? 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1753 I eat anyone who gives me less than four stars. 1.2883 0.03766 163 128 29 6
1754 The worst part is that he keeps repeating that ridiculous song. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1755 He's gonna have to get a bigger shark. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1756 It's symbiotic, he's promised not to turn my fins into soup. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1757 I suppose he thinks I'm a dolphin. 1.2883 0.03962 163 125 31 7
1758 Lawyers are taking this professional-courtesy thing to a whole other level." 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1759 It’s called shark boarding but it isn’t catching on. 1.2883 0.03962 163 120 39 4
1760 Some of these guys, it's like they don't even want to be eaten! 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1761 Don’t knock it. I’m getting 60 bucks an hour as a powered surfboard. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1762 I think he’s got a career in stand-up. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1763 And you get a snack after the back rub. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1764 It's a long story. 1.2883 0.04664 163 128 23 12
1765 To combat our bad reputation, I thought I'd try the eco-tourism angle. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1766 He’s a Shark Fin Soup protestor! 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1767 Please tell me it's lunchtime. 1.2883 0.04009 163 123 34 6
1768 I had to go and attack a damn lawyer! 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1769 I stopped biting people after my cardiologist suggested a plant-based diet. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1770 Predatory lending? I’m only charging 10% interest to keep this guy afloat. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1771 If you don’t tell him, I won’t tell him. 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1772 When did this become a "thing"? 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1773 He’s already booked me for Shark Week. And, he thinks I could be the next Jaws! So no you may not eat him. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1774 I lost his law suit, I gotta live with the shame. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1775 Don't knock it. It's the best fishing lure I've ever used 1.2883 0.04499 163 129 24 10
1776 I Think I'm A Vegan. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1777 I think it's some kind of remora. See if you can scrape it off me. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1778 It's my new diet. You have to balance your food. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1779 I'm picking up a few extra bucks working for Uber. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1780 His chiropractic technique is simply delicious! 1.2883 0.04239 163 127 27 9
1781 He said his name is Fonzie and he's just doing it for the ratings. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1782 Says he's a shark spotter 1.2883 0.04824 163 130 19 14
1783 The legs are enticing, but the massage is incredible. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1784 They get a tad mealy if you just let 'em drown. 1.2883 0.04745 163 129 21 13
1785 I promised once more around before we eat him. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1786 I know I said I'd be home an hour ago, but look -- I brought you my leftovers! 1.2883 0.04745 163 129 21 13
1787 You’ve never had a foot massage? Oh, man, try it! 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1788 I ate his paddle board by mistake and now I feel sorry for him. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1789 This all started with those @#&* dolphins. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1790 It just pee`d on me. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?! 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1791 You're about to witness, "The Ultimate Wedgie!" 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1792 This joker thinks he’s standing on a sandbar! Ya hungry? 1.2883 0.04457 163 128 24 11
1793 Hungry for some surf 'n' turf? 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1794 He thinks I'm a sandbar and it would be awkward to move now. 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1795 Did you order Grubhub? 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1796 I know, but they're even more delicious if they bake in the sun for a few minutes until they're well done. 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1797 Don't judge me, bro... everyone's side gig is Uber 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1798 “He sure as hell stuck the landing!” 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1799 I just like the way it feels, okay ? 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1800 That's the deal: I let him take a selfie surfing a shark, and he lets me eat him with no fuss 1.2883 0.04149 163 122 35 6
1801 These millennial snorkelers are awfully entitled. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1802 Packing my own lunch is a chore, but nothing beats eating locals. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1803 I hate it when the old Sea World training kicks in. 1.2883 0.04327 163 124 31 8
1804 What about you? Ever wanted to try paddle boarding? 1.2883 0.04239 163 123 33 7
1805 We made a deal.....I get a back rub, and he gets to live. 1.2875 0.04003 160 118 38 4
1806 Watch this back flip! then we'll eat. 1.2857 0.04091 154 114 36 4
1807 We have a kinship. His legs are great and white. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1808 I call it Farm-to-table. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1809 So, after I swallowed his surfboard... 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1810 I ate his surfboard. 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
1811 Don’t laugh if I don’t eat this guy for fifteen minutes I get a second one! 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1812 Brining 101 1.2857 0.03220 154 119 31 4
1813 What, you don’t play with your food?! 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1814 I’m going to miss him after I eat him. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1815 It's court-ordered restitution for eating his surfboard 1.2857 0.04193 154 115 34 5
1816 Welcome to Sea World. 1.2857 0.04079 161 120 36 5
1817 Can you help me; I'm trying to get this monkey off my back. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1818 I'm afraid if I eat him it'll affect my star rating. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1819 And we just ate. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1820 The fin. He thinks I'm a rescue porpoise. Just wait ONE minute! 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1821 Keep your jaws off him. I'm saving him for dessert. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1822 He's auditioning for America's Got Talent. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1823 Want to share lunch? 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1824 I'll flip him and then we split him. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1825 First the massage, then the meal 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1826 Stop playing with your food Larry. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1827 He’s my only link to the outside world.. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1828 Sharks are the scooters of the sea,” he said 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1829 I could use a good toothpick in about 30 seconds. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1830 My therapist says I need to submit more. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1831 you can't just let him walk all over you! 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
1832 I don't know; something about jumping the shark." 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1833 The flavor is improved if they feel well supported 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1834 It's called aquatic reflexology" 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1835 You do it your way, I'll do it mine. 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1836 He's for my hard-to-scratch spots. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1837 Saved you the lower half 1.2857 0.04672 154 120 24 10
1838 Dinner is served. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1839 That’ll be $22.50 plus tip. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1840 My wife sent me out for food for our daughter's graduation party. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1841 This is as close as he gets to be God and walking on water. 1.2857 0.04342 154 119 27 8
1842 Unlike you, I can live with it, Roger. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1843 I owe the local loan shark a favor. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1844 It started out as a bump on my fin. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1845 They call it treading water. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1846 They tell me I'm part of the cutting edge of surfing. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1847 Sometimes I really wish I hadn’t gone vegan 1.2857 0.04850 154 122 20 12
1848 What can I say? My stomach, like my heart, is full. 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
1849 He's an intern in my law firm's summer program. 1.2857 0.04243 154 118 29 7
1850 Don't ask, he's paying me. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1851 I think he's getting ready to jump the shark! 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1852 One day we’re going to look back at this and laugh. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
1853 I feel sorry for him, he can't swim! 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1854 I don't enjoy this whole 'let's change our image' thing. 1.2848 0.04025 158 117 37 4
1855 Please don't eat my massage therapist! 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1856 What odd growth? I don’t feel anything. 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1857 I figured I'd give him a false sense of security. 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1858 Tell me I’m not hallucinating. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1859 These young kids have never even heard of Jaws. 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1860 Go ahead. Dare him to hang ten. 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1861 Here's your dinner dear. You did say you wanted white meat meat, right? 1.2848 0.04124 158 118 35 5
1862 It's part of my community service for that incident last summer. 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1863 Welcome to Sea World. It will all make sense after a while. 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1864 Do you prefer him over easy or sunny-side up? 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1865 I’m more of a leg and butt shark. 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1866 It's the lack of respect that bothers me most. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1867 I'm not very hungry. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1868 Please tell me you like white meat. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1869 He's mine... I'm taking him for a ride. 1.2848 0.04124 158 118 35 5
1870 Don’t go near the beach! 1.2848 0.04124 158 122 29 7
1871 he's telling them all to come on in, I'm serving in 5 minutes. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1872 It’s leftovers, I ate the other half last night. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1873 You always say “save the leftovers “, but you never eat ‘em... 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1874 Looks like they're making another Happy Days spin-off 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1875 When I'm through playing, would you like breast or thigh? 1.2848 0.04759 158 125 21 12
1876 Why not? He gives a great back massage. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1877 How do I get this monkey off my back? 1.2848 0.04674 158 124 23 11
1878 I know what it looks like, but it’s been great for my back pain! 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1879 I’ve turned the page, Jeff, and now think of them as family. 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1880 My Chiropractor said it's good for the Cartilage 1.2848 0.04759 158 125 21 12
1881 It's my community service and its killing me. 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1882 Get ready. I heard him call out "C'mon everybody. The water feels great!" 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1883 Next time you troll the bait. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1884 You call Uber eats? 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1885 Animal, vegetable, or optometrist? 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1886 I hear it’s good for your core. 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1887 He thinks I'm a rock. I'm just holding him here until I get hungry. 1.2848 0.04075 158 120 32 6
1888 I did the damn music! 1.2848 0.03712 158 124 28 6
1889 Yup. I know... "shark boarding". What's next? 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1890 I mistakenly ate his board. A ride is the least I can do... 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1891 It's called Ashiatsu and don't you dare ruin this for me ! 1.2848 0.04407 158 124 26 8
1892 No, I'm on this 30 day cleanse now. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1893 I had a big breakfast. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1894 Professional courtesy. He’s a member of the bar. 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1895 Of course he's an attorney. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1896 Manna from heaven. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1897 The dolphin said this was the best way to get more subscribers on YouTube. 1.2848 0.04172 158 126 22 10
1898 Can we get fined for chumming? 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1899 I'm stuffed. You want leftovers? 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1900 Your delivery of a gluten free dinner 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1901 ... because he thinks I'm a dolphin. You hungry? 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1902 Who’s gonna tell him? 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1903 Another consequence of global warming: a dorsal Finn. 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1904 They’re treading a fin line. 1.2848 0.04674 158 124 23 11
1905 I told you not to eat that surfboard 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1906 I'm gonna count to three... 1.2848 0.04220 158 119 33 6
1907 This new workplace tolerance training is so humiliating. 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1908 Yeah, well, YOU try turning down a contract with the X-Games. 1.2848 0.03974 158 119 34 5
1909 I wasn't really hungry when I found him, so I figure I'll save him for later. 1.2848 0.04025 158 117 37 4
1910 First I must gain his trust. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1911 The gig economy has its ups and downs. 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1912 Hold still. The wife is meatier. 1.2848 0.04407 158 121 29 8
1913 He thinks he’s swimming with dolphins. 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
1914 No, it's not like shooting fish in a barrel. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1915 Free delivery! 1.2821 0.04619 156 122 24 10
1916 I support him for the tax breaks. 1.2821 0.04097 156 119 31 6
1917 I'm saving him for dinner. 1.2821 0.03943 156 115 38 3
1918 What? Do I have food on my face? 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1919 Better than any pilot fish. He's a professional pilot. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1920 Do you have a problem with professional courtesy? He’s a lawyer. 1.2821 0.04390 156 122 25 9
1921 I am bringing supper over to the new shark family that just moved in across the bay 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1922 I'm tired of going around with a Chip on my shoulder. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1923 No, I haven't seen Jaws. Why do you ask? 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1924 I know it’s cliché, Gary, but I think it gives me an edge with the girls. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1925 So what are YOU bringing to Terry's pot-luck dinner? 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1926 I'm saving this half for lunch tomorrow. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1927 He thinks he's on a sandbar. Watch me introduce some sharp shells. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1928 I have an appointment with the doctor this week to get it removed. 1.2821 0.04046 156 116 36 4
1929 Jump the shark? 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1930 You ordered, lunch? 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1931 Hey honey, there was too much to eat at the party so I brought you some leftovers. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1932 Some guy named Steven Spielberg. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1933 I ate this guy's surfboard, now I have to do this for 2 weeks. 1.2821 0.04046 156 116 36 4
1934 It’s less conspicuous than when my dorsal fin sticks out of the water. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1935 He insists; just because I ate his surfboard by mistake. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1936 If you think this looks bad, stick your head up and get a look at the other half 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1937 He's too skinny. I'm taking him back to shore." Michael Rogness, St. Paul, MN 1.2821 0.04795 156 124 20 12
1938 They call it shark surfing. I call it playing with my food. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1939 Call it! Heads or tails? 1.2821 0.04046 156 116 36 4
1940 No one told me becoming vegan would lead to this! 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1941 It’s the takeout half off meal deal. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1942 I think the remoras are evolving. 1.2821 0.04097 156 119 31 6
1943 I signed on with Uber. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1944 Play it cool. It's for his PETA campaign against Shark fin soup. 1.2821 0.04619 156 122 24 10
1945 This guy better give me five stars. 1.2821 0.04483 156 123 23 10
1946 I thought it was a really big remora. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1947 Grab the other leg and let's make a wish. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1948 Catch up, dude. The fin thing is a dead give away. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1949 I finally got the monkey off my back, now this! 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1950 He a fantastic and loving husband, but the constant surfacing for him to breath is getting old. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1951 I’m codependent... 1.2821 0.04795 156 124 20 12
1952 I thought I'd help him find his surfboard before I eat him 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1953 He wanted to say goodbye to his family. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1954 I was full; I'm planning to finish it later on. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1955 He failed to jump the shark. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1956 You ordered the ‘Businessman Express’ lunch, Sir? 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1957 I’d eat this guy, but I’m still full from those plastic bags. 1.2821 0.04619 156 122 24 10
1958 white people 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1959 Do me a favor and eat this guy off my back 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1960 It's the least I could offer after eating his surfboard. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1961 Yeah, well, you should see his other half. Course, you can't. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1962 I know; I'm an embarrassment to my species" 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1963 Do me a favor and bite his leg. 1.2821 0.04246 156 121 29 6
1964 Hey, honey. Want to split a dessert? 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1965 I could only eat half of it. Just wasn’t that hungry. 1.2821 0.03782 156 126 21 9
1966 It's either this or extinction. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1967 Oh I thought it was a potluck! 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1968 I know this looks bad, but I'm just not hungry, okay? 1.2821 0.04046 156 116 36 4
1969 I got a summer job as a surfboard. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1970 I keep telling him I'm a fish not a mammal. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1971 So... What do you think? Should we get him now or save him for later? 1.2821 0.04619 156 122 24 10
1972 It's the latest thing in evolution - my own decoy! 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1973 ONE LAST TIME- I go low you go high 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1974 I'm so full. Do you want the bottom half? 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1975 I was going to eat him but my back is really feeling the benefit. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1976 I'm only eating locally sourced. This guy was flown in from DesMoines." 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1977 He’s starting to piss me off. 1.2821 0.03836 156 121 30 5
1978 It’s the same guy who was struck by lightning last week. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1979 It’s the latest millennial thing - shark yoga. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1980 If I stop swimming his shorts fall down. 1.2821 0.04619 156 122 24 10
1981 I told you my friend was a "stand-up" kind of guy 1.2821 0.03614 156 117 36 3
1982 Hi sweetie. Just wanted to show you that I am not a bottom feeder. 1.2821 0.04197 156 120 29 7
1983 Thanks,but I brought my lunch today. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1984 You know what’s been on my mind lately? 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1985 Great Meal Aboard" 1.2821 0.04147 156 120 31 5
1986 It's one of those no frills around the world cruise 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1987 I like to save the bottom half for dessert. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1988 Do I look like a surfboard? 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1989 I've got the entree" 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1990 I brought you dinner. 1.2821 0.04147 156 117 34 5
1991 You'll have to talk to the man upstairs. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1992 "The dolphin mask worked like a charm." 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1993 They`re featuring me in a nature film - "When Fish Had Feet". 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1994 He doesn’t understand what jumping the shark really means! 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1995 He's got my back, Dude. Move on! 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1996 I was told to bring lunch. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1997 This guy walks on my back every Wednesday. Does wonders for my sciatica. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1998 I hope you didn't cook, I brought take-out." David and Miriam, Pacifica, C 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
1999 They think he's standing on a sandbar. 1.2821 0.04246 156 118 32 6
2000 I just can't shake this funny feeling. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
2001 Can I get back with you? I'm going to lunch. 1.2803 0.04271 157 122 27 8
2002 Heads he's mine. Tails he's yours. 1.2803 0.04025 157 117 36 4
2003 You can Venmo me for your half. 1.2803 0.03922 157 121 30 6
2004 I can't bite him. I'm an Uber driver. 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
2005 With that global warming I feel like eating salad only. 1.2803 0.04593 157 123 24 10
2006 My nutritionist told me I needed to balance my diet 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2007 His toenails are a little sharp. 1.2803 0.04223 157 119 32 6
2008 This one is yours, the last one gave me heartburn. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2009 I ate half, and I'm saving the rest for a snack later. 1.2803 0.04271 157 122 27 8
2010 He ain't heavy he's my dinner. 1.2803 0.04223 157 119 32 6
2011 I was saving him for later, but I'm hungry now. Want a bite? 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2012 Would you care to share my appetizer"? 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2013 Normally I'd be asking myself the same question, but his specialty is sshiatsu and my dorsal fin's been killing me. 1.2803 0.04025 157 117 36 4
2014 You had to choose NOW to suggest that we become Pescatarians?! 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2015 Dibs on the crunchy part. 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2016 There's this great new takeout place down the coast. 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2017 I’ve had it up my neck with bloody tourists! 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2018 Would you like fries with that? 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2019 Is being vegan written all over my fins? 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2020 Bringing lunch from home for a change. 1.2803 0.04075 157 120 31 6
2021 Did you order takeout? 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
2022 His Uber rating is a 4.7 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2023 I am beginning to rethink this Uber gig. 1.2803 0.04223 157 119 32 6
2024 Goat yoga is for sissies. 1.2803 0.04768 157 125 20 12
2025 I hope you don't mind, we're having take-out tonight. 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
2026 He likes a cigarette after we have sex. 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
2027 Take out is always best the day after. 1.2803 0.03816 157 123 29 5
2028 He wanted to impress his girlfriend but enough is enough! 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
2029 It helps with the cravings. 1.2794 0.05186 136 109 16 11
2030 You want this half? 1.2792 0.04370 154 118 29 7
2031 It's not my dream job, but he pays me scale. 1.2792 0.04652 154 121 23 10
2032 I lost a bet. 1.2792 0.04370 154 118 29 7
2033 It’s your Uber Eats fresh food delivery!” 1.2792 0.04742 154 122 21 11
2034 Make a wish. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2035 This is our version of meals on wheels 1.2792 0.04652 154 121 23 10
2036 He’s my spotter. 1.2792 0.04120 154 118 30 6
2037 'I thought you said he was supposed to jump'. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2038 I only eat them if they don’t tip. 1.2792 0.04370 154 118 29 7
2039 I've decided to go back on the Paleo diet. 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
2040 Weird. I heard him say “Hold my beer—watch this.” 1.2792 0.04742 154 122 21 11
2041 It's like Lyft and Uber Eats all in one. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2042 There's nothing better than an ashiatsu massage before dinner. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2043 Sea World has the nerve to call this "a promotion"? 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
2044 Wild, fresh caught! Help yourself! 1.2792 0.04171 154 116 33 5
2045 That disguise is not going to fool any of the swimmers, Sal. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2046 The top half tasted great, I’m just way too full to finish up. 1.2792 0.04171 154 116 33 5
2047 Yeah, I can't believe it either. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2048 Nah, too easy. 1.2792 0.04370 154 118 29 7
2049 I'm a total magnet for humans. 1.2792 0.04370 154 123 21 10
2050 Feels like remora, tastes like chicken. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2051 My other option was cataract surgery. 1.2792 0.04652 154 121 23 10
2052 I bet if you say, 'Hey look! A phone!" he'll jump down right away 1.2792 0.04171 154 116 32 5
2053 Well, it WAS a shared ride. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2054 Bet you a fin I can flip him and catch him before you do a full circle. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2055 He took me for a ride! 1.2792 0.04370 154 121 26 7
2056 They're paying me more than scale for Shark Week... 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2057 He asked for a ride once, and now it's, like, every day! 1.2792 0.04370 154 118 29 7
2058 I enjoy them dry on top and wet on the bottom. 1.2792 0.04652 154 121 23 10
2059 For once I'd like to see how the other half lives. 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
2060 I guess he thinks I'm a skate. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2061 I told the sucker I work for Uber. Now hurry home and tell the kids dinner's almost here. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2062 Doctor says it will help me quit 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
2063 It's still better than wearing Crocs. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2064 You want to split an appetizer? 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
2065 He' ll teach me to walk I'll teach him to swim. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2066 The back massage comes with a lunch option. 1.2792 0.04466 154 119 27 8
2067 The money is not great, but it's a job. 1.2792 0.04068 154 115 35 4
2068 Wait till he finds out where he really is. 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
2069 Hey Franck, by any chance, have you seen my lunch? 1.2781 0.04806 151 120 20 11
2070 I just got some takeout 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
2071 See if this is all that's left. 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
2072 He’s marinating. 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
2073 I can't get him of my back. 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2074 It was 'all-you-could-eat' night at that little bistro by the sand bar. 1.2781 0.04113 151 113 34 4
2075 Would you like the other half? 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2076 He told me he'd keep an eye out for Robert Shaw. 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2077 Jaw, paper, fin?" 1.2781 0.04666 151 121 19 11
2078 He's outta his depth. 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
2079 I offered to give him some tips. He's a loan shark. 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2080 Should I tell him that he's out of his depth? 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
2081 I’m trying a more balanced approach to eating. 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
2082 Oh boy Surfer Surprise for dinner tonight! 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
2083 Lawyer, professional courtesy. 1.2781 0.04713 151 119 22 10
2084 I guess I can say good-bye to flaunting my dorsal fin. 1.2781 0.04522 151 117 26 8
2085 Why don’t you try swimming with people 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
2086 Well, he's a lawyer. And a very good one at that. 1.2781 0.04713 151 119 22 10
2087 I had to pick up a side gig for Uber. 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
2088 As you'd guess from the legs, this species is called the Pale White. 1.2781 0.04113 151 113 34 4
2089 Yeah, well, you should've seen the one that got away. 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2090 The idiot thinks I am a dolphin!! 1.2781 0.04322 151 115 30 6
2091 I heard you are a leg man. 1.2781 0.04897 151 121 18 12
2092 Grubhub delivery - did you order one whole swimmer and a coke? 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
2093 You're invading my territory again! This time I brought my lawyer. 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
2094 Did you know an estimated 100 million sharks are wantonly killed every year around the world? I think it is time we doing something about that, starting right here. 1.2752 0.04025 149 111 35 3
2095 I figure with the current state of politics they’ve got enough going on. 1.2752 0.04244 149 113 31 5
2096 Fast talking salesman... you go in for a massage, and come back with an edible periscope. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
2097 It's a new reality show that's a mash up of Shark Tank and Survivor. 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
2098 If you order a decoy, spend the extra money for the model that waves its arms and screams Help! 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
2099 I'm just not in the mood for stalking and attacking tonight, dear, so I decided on carry-out. 1.2752 0.04244 149 113 31 5
2100 They just don't fear us anymore ever since those "Sharknado" movies came out. 1.2752 0.04297 149 116 26 7
2101 They've really become too comfortable after that Nemo movie. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
2102 i try to remind myself: a caldera, the singularity, climate change, antibiotic resistance—something's gonna clip these dumbfucks. 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
2103 I've got to get my Uber driver rating back above 4 stars after last month's "incident". 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
2104 i'm saving half for dessert 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
2105 Play with your own food. 1.2752 0.04244 149 113 31 5
2106 8.25 isn't enough to have the customers just walk all over you. 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
2107 Well, I couldn't make anything by biting people, so I started being an Uber driver. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
2108 Ya. It’s my lawyer! Professional courtesy...gets me real close to the beach! 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
2109 This dumb surfer dude thinks I'm a dolphin. I'm just taking him far enough out to sea that no one will hear his screams. 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
2110 Dang, I lost mine! 1.2752 0.04843 149 119 19 11
2111 Being a vegan is easy. Here, try a little I Can't Believe It's Not Human. 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
2112 May I recommend a nice cabernet sauvignon to go with the gentleman’s entree? 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
2113 You ordered the veggie lover, hold the sun screen. 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
2114 Yeah, I know I should eat him, but he promised me a part in the upcoming "Sharknado" sequel. 1.2752 0.04349 149 114 29 6
2115 Eat him! What an appalling idea! You won't find a better Ashiatsu master for miles! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2116 Lunch is weighing me down again. 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2117 do i have something on my back? 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
2118 The wife didn’t feel like eating out so I picked up some fast food 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2119 Look! I found a wishbone. 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2120 Does this make me look fat? 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2121 It's just that I'm not that hungry right now. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
2122 What? I'm celebrating Human Week. 1.2721 0.04880 147 118 18 11
2123 It's a potluck 1.2721 0.04102 147 113 29 5
2124 Pity. He was only a couple feet short of the dolphin tank. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2125 SUP, man? 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2126 Should I? 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2127 First he called me Shamu, then... 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2128 I'll stay here while you grab dinner for us both. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2129 This model really works! Get ready for a feast when all the rescuers show up. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
2130 I'm waiting for him to stop peeing. 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
2131 I can’t decide; shiatsu or lunch? 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
2132 Then pollution gets worse and worse each year. 1.2721 0.03928 147 109 36 2
2133 Seriously. What did you do with his surfboard? 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2134 I hate lawyers! 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2135 Not my fault. Said he was a chiropractor. 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
2136 Saving him for the barbecue on the 4th 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
2137 Can you get him off my back? 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2138 I thought I might as well bring lunch. 1.2721 0.04784 147 117 20 10
2139 Discovery Channel needs to up our pay. These Shark Week bits are getting ridiculous. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2140 It’s similar to a monkey on my back but easier to get off. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2141 I ordered my meal “to go.” 1.2721 0.04045 147 110 34 3
2142 It's called fashion, Carl. 1.2721 0.04880 147 118 18 11
2143 I already ate the top half, so sure you can have the rest... 1.2721 0.04045 147 110 34 3
2144 Emotional support pet for now,snack if it doesn't work out. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2145 He’s a Trump supporter 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
2146 He's in training to jump the shark. 1.2721 0.04214 147 114 27 6
2147 Humans are a pain in the neck 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2148 So when I roll, grab his leg... 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2149 You picked the wrong day to go vegetarian. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2150 And then they blame us for going after their legs... 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2151 From the surface we look like surf boards. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2152 Sorry honey, but it sure beats your fin massages. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
2153 I actually never been this close to one before. 1.2721 0.04784 147 117 20 10
2154 What kind of wine goes with shlump? 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2155 He is an instagram influencer. Says he can improve my click bait numbers. 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2156 It's great as bait, but the temptation to snack on it is killing me. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2157 Who him? His name is Fonzi. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
2158 It’s like shooting one of us in a barrel. 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
2159 My shrink says I keep giving up my power. 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
2160 I keep telling you, their carry out is the best” 1.2721 0.04585 147 115 24 8
2161 It's a new Olympic Water Sport. . Shark Attack. 1.2721 0.03619 147 114 29 4
2162 Grubhub. I was tired." 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2163 If your father sees you playing with humans again he’s going to bite your head off 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2164 I know, but I felt sorry for the skinny bastard. 1.2721 0.04159 147 111 32 4
2165 So next I flip it up into the air and catch it in my jaws. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2166 I have the answer to, “What’s for dinner tonight?” 1.2721 0.04685 147 116 22 9
2167 My plan is to take him six feet under. 1.2721 0.04377 147 113 28 6
2168 Cool hat Mark. 1.2721 0.04482 147 114 26 7
2169 I was fine with it till he started with the theme music. 1.2703 0.03906 148 123 17 8
2170 He’s with me. 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
2171 It's a living. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
2172 Dark or light? 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
2173 I hate to burst his bubble. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
2174 You're right, he's going to owe me one. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
2175 Yeah, ok, fillet of sole. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
2176 We have been here for 50 million years and all of a sudden these guys are stepping on us and scream bloody murder if we bite them. 1.2703 0.04134 148 112 32 4
2177 It's called Shark Lyft, and no you are not going to bite into my profits. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
2178 I ate his surf board and he says I owe him." 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2179 Hey look at me! I’m Carmen Miranda. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
2180 We're bringing dessert. 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
2181 I picked it up on my way back from the keys, hopefully it'll go away on its own. 1.2690 0.04295 145 111 29 5
2182 This gig economy is killing me. 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
2183 The weather is getting warm and this is my first swimmer of the season. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
2184 After biting a chunk out of his surfboard, I thought that I owed him. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2185 I guess this guy never saw Jaws! 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
2186 Everyone takes advantage of vegans. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
2187 He seems so comfortable I can’t bear to disturb him by rolling over and eating him yet. 1.2690 0.04295 145 115 23 7
2188 He's underwater financially and I want to be the lone shark. 1.2690 0.04820 145 116 19 10
2189 It's my turn to have the top portion. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2190 You take the left one and I’ll take the right. 1.2690 0.04065 145 109 33 3
2191 They said 'Nice board shorts,' but he heard 'nice bored sharks.' 1.2690 0.04238 145 113 26 6
2192 He's not heavy, I ate his brother!. 1.2690 0.04820 145 116 19 10
2193 Get washed up. Dinner's on the table. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
2194 I'm willing to go halfsies. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2195 I find it causes less of a fuss than the fin. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
2196 I just can’t seem to get this monkey off my back. 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
2197 If I eat him I'll lower my IQ score by 50. 1.2690 0.04820 145 116 19 10
2198 Damn global warming... 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2199 I'm his balance trainer, heh, heh. 1.2690 0.04182 145 110 31 4
2200 I ordered it this morning on Amazon. 1.2690 0.04295 145 111 29 5
2201 I pick them up for Uber, but I drop them off for Uber Eats. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
2202 There's too much news going around that sharks rarely bite humans. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2203 Shark surfing, it’s a thing. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2204 Have you seen the wife? 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
2205 I was catfished. 1.2690 0.04405 145 112 27 6
2206 My agent says it might help our image. 1.2690 0.04182 145 110 31 4
2207 He will soon find out he's not on a sandbar. 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
2208 This attracts more snacks than letting my fin stick above the water. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2209 Soon he'll not have a leg to stand on. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2210 Just until my periscope gets back from the repair shop. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2211 It’s the El Chapo dorsal attachment. Gets a better reaction than the fin. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
2212 You Frank? Good, here's your Scuber Eats delivery. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
2213 This vegan diet is for the birds! 1.2676 0.04989 142 115 16 11
2214 Reparations. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2215 It pays the bills. 1.2676 0.04460 142 112 23 7
2216 I mean as if the tagging wasn't bad enough. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2217 I joined Lyft. This gig economy is getting me down. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2218 I prefer mine with ketchup. 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
2219 It’s Trump! He can’t swim ! 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2220 Come on in ... I’m standing up! 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2221 I'm cutting my portions in half. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2222 My dermatologist tells me it is nothing to be concerned with. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2223 I can't decide to eat him or keep him as my personal masseuse. I must admit it feels good! 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2224 Animal, vegetable, or mineral? 1.2676 0.04171 142 113 24 5
2225 You know I am a vegan, Jessica. 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
2226 Apparently it is a form of extreme surfing. Let's hope it doesn't catch on 1.2676 0.04111 142 107 32 3
2227 Where's Katy Perry? 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
2228 Dude thinks he's Aqua-man. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2229 They've become a lot more brazen since that cute baby shark song. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2230 The jerk thinks I'm a coral reef- what the hell could I do??! 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2231 I thought this was a potluck! 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2232 But I like to play with my food! 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2233 Well, at least we're not at Sea World. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2234 We’re not allowed to bite until he learns to tread water. 1.2676 0.03924 142 108 31 3
2235 It's a Finn. 1.2676 0.03377 142 114 23 5
2236 Well at least he’s no longer skateboarding. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2237 Ask him to move back and to the right. 1.2676 0.04230 142 108 30 4
2238 So, I see yours jumped the shark. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2239 They gave me honorable mention for the ‘Family Beach Camouflaged Hat’ category. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2240 They're better marinated. 1.2676 0.04111 142 107 32 3
2241 What do you mean I have food on my face? 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2242 Unfortunately we do not have a leg to stand on. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2243 I am a stand in for Shark Week 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2244 We call the service “Unter.” 1.2676 0.04516 142 113 20 8
2245 It's called 'symbiosis' Jim. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2246 Wanna give him a pedicure? 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2247 I have a feeling 'Jaws 5: Shark Surfer' is going to flop! 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2248 Don't even ask where I got this, I'm fed up with you always copying my style. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2249 I told you going vegan was a bad idea. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
2250 He said we could switch after 5 minutes. Its been 20 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2251 I'm keeping an eye on that undertoe. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2252 This is what it takes to be a Superhost. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2253 My wife wants me to save money. I'm taking my lunch to work. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2254 I thought volunteer work would be easy 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2255 Just let it go, Josh. The poor bastard is up there screaming 'California Dreaming' at the top of his lungs. 1.2676 0.04111 142 107 32 3
2256 I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting to this new balanced diet. 1.2676 0.03987 142 106 34 2
2257 He’s worse than a lamprey! 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2258 Damn millennials. 1.2676 0.03987 142 106 34 2
2259 You're so late that I decided to start lunch without you. 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
2260 How about we split 50-50? 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2261 I ordered carry out, and they served me the counter man. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2262 No, he can’t hang ten. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2263 I always get mine "to go." 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2264 Which half do you want? 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
2265 My therapist thinks I should strengthen my collaborative spirit. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2266 It's the latest; UBER du Mer. I set my own work schedule. After training I received a discount card for seal sushi and if the client is overly abusive I can eat the them. 1.2676 0.04571 142 111 24 7
2267 I know! I know! I lost a bet! 1.2676 0.04230 142 108 30 4
2268 Guess we'll have to go a little deeper for privacy, dear. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
2269 He came into the Tank promising his “patent pending” online beachwear had amazing sales and growth. Now I’m literally keeping him afloat. 1.2676 0.05088 142 116 14 12
2270 I love getting my weekly shiatsu! 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2271 People give me a headache 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
2272 I can set my own hours and don't need a medallion. 1.2643 0.04489 140 109 25 6
2273 I love posing as a sandbar before dinner. 1.2643 0.04713 140 111 21 8
2274 This new diet is crushing me with everything I can't eat 1.2643 0.04005 140 105 33 2
2275 Hurry and take a pic for my Instagram page! 1.2643 0.04602 140 110 23 7
2276 He's a dentist. Can he fix my bite? 1.2643 0.04602 140 110 23 7
2277 Well, at least I'm employed. 1.2643 0.04713 140 111 21 8
2278 That's the last time I'll make a wager with Jimmy Buffett. 1.2643 0.04254 140 107 29 4
2279 Yes. I am relaxing, Master, I am taking slow breathes in and out of both gills...I feel like a peaceful swaying kelp flower..... but I still want to bite something. 1.2643 0.04489 140 109 25 6
2280 He said his Grandfather was on the Indianapolis, that's why. 1.2643 0.04132 140 106 31 3
2281 He's ours. You bring the avocado and I'll bring the cilantro. 1.2643 0.04926 140 113 17 10
2282 I lost a bet with him, sucks, embarrassing. 1.2643 0.04713 140 111 21 8
2283 The waters getting warmer, and I actually hope it’s climate change 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2284 Why do I always get stuck with the drumsticks? 1.2609 0.04460 138 110 21 7
2285 Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to play with your food? 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2286 I’d eat his foot but it smells bad. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2287 This will be his last selfie 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2288 He didn’t get the memo - it’s JUMP the shark idiot! 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2289 'Extreme surfing, it's going to be the next big thing.' 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2290 Do you think he can surf with one leg? 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2291 Maybe I was a dolphin in my past life! 1.2609 0.04153 138 105 30 3
2292 But my back was killing me. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2293 He thinks he’s in the shallows. 1.2609 0.04153 138 105 30 3
2294 I brought it home, you get it ready for dinner. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2295 You should see the other half. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2296 I know, I know, but I like the way his toes tickle my back. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2297 He said he's got an idea to get us on "Shark Tank." 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2298 This second job as an Uber driver is really breaking my back. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2299 I'm giving him a leg up before I take it. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2300 He's head and shoulders above the rest. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2301 Surfers! 1.2609 0.04153 138 105 30 3
2302 I like a bit of ashiatsu massage before dinner. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2303 It's Michael Ovitz...I'm helping him with his comeback 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2304 If I flip him, I get first dibs. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2305 Kiss me and I will Share. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2306 Actually, I'm waiting until dinner time. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2307 Get paid to advertise on your head” 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2308 As soon as I get hungry he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.2609 0.04340 138 109 23 6
2309 White meat - again! 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2310 Just wait, he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2311 This vegan diet is driving me crazy. 1.2609 0.05071 138 113 14 11
2312 He promised that I would star in the remake of “Jaws”. 1.2609 0.04153 138 105 30 3
2313 It beats trying to use my fin for the itch on my back. 1.2609 0.04153 138 105 29 3
2314 His wife said to surprise him. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2315 It's this new thing called Uber Shark. You should sign up. 1.2609 0.04024 138 112 21 5
2316 I'm so sorry honey. I couldn't find a chubby one this week. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2317 I'm a rebel, Ma. I'll play with my food. 1.2609 0.04857 138 111 18 9
2318 So, now I'm a loan shark. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2319 Yes, I am STILL working on it! 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2320 Let's see how they like it when we take one of their Finns 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2321 Grown up shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo … 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2322 He thinks he's on solid footing... watch this. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
2323 I see this as a glass half empty/glass half full dilemma. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2324 He ain’t heavy, he’s my chum 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2325 I cannot say he won’t be eaten. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
2326 Uber shark, my ass. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2327 White meat or dark meat? 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
2328 Ashiatsu, followed by a protein snack, usually uplifts me from the slough of despond. 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2329 I think he needs glasses. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2330 The worst part is being taken for granted. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2331 Here, you can have the bottom half. 1.2593 0.04135 135 105 26 4
2332 Get Spielberg on the line. He needs to make another one 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2333 It's totally copasetic. I get the surfers, he gets their boards. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2334 About 80,000 calories, wanna split it? 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2335 Should've voted for Beto. 1.2593 0.04928 135 109 17 9
2336 Don't tell me you thought he really walked on water 1.2593 0.03929 135 101 33 1
2337 Would you trim a little off the top? 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2338 Please, Doc! You gotta help me get this monkey off my back! 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2339 Your turn for "William Tell" 1.2593 0.02872 135 107 26 2
2340 I’ve already had my day’s limit. Any interest? 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2341 I make chum change, but it’s a steady gig. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2342 Hor d'oeuvres at 5:00 PM OK? 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2343 Thought he could jump the shark! 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2344 I never leave without a packed lunch on my back. 1.2593 0.04067 135 102 31 2
2345 He thinks he's having a fabulous ride on his surfboard 1.2593 0.03712 135 107 24 4
2346 It is called Ride Sharing. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2347 I like mine semi-dry, shaken, not stirred. 1.2593 0.04928 135 109 17 9
2348 Your turn, I need to go down 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2349 Professional courtesy, he’s an attorney. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2350 He'd better not start peeing... 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2351 Well, how did YOU think he walked on water, Ezekiel? 1.2593 0.03401 135 113 18 4
2352 I didn’t know what having a monkey on my back really meant... 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2353 I decided to try the new take-out spot everybody’s been raving about. 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2354 Incredible balance and breathe control. 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2355 Love your morsel fin 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2356 He asked if he could just stick around to so show his girlfriend” 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2357 It worked! Here comes his buddy! 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2358 Sorry I can't fish with you today; he doesn't know how to swim. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2359 Ugh . . . what fresh hell is this? 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2360 You can eat him after he’s done giving me a back rub. 1.2593 0.04331 135 112 16 7
2361 That does it! I'm moving outta his wifi range. 1.2593 0.04201 135 106 26 3
2362 I think it’s time for a remake of jaws. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2363 This seal mistook me for a surfboard. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2364 I’m in anger management therapy. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2365 His feet tickle 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2366 ‘’This is when my psychology degree comes in handy,let him think he’s the one in control and his friends will want to join him.’’ 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2367 Here's betting he never saw Jaws 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2368 Well, how do you carry “take-out”? 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2369 Lyft wasn't kidding about inclusion! 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2370 Scram! After he takes the selfie, he's my lunch. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2371 The best I could manage is a visual decoy. We are still working on a human call. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2372 Just be honest with me, how bad does it look? 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2373 I know... I know it's unbecoming.... but the dude has a wicked Oriental foot massage technique. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2374 Thanks to global warming, Sharq is the new Lyft. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2375 He’ll attract the tastier ones 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2376 This is what I get for eating his board. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2377 I gave him a choice. Be my periscope, or be my lunch. 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2378 'Dolphin gigs pay.' 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2379 If my daddy could see me now. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2380 I felt guilty for taking a bite out of his surfboard 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2381 Whadd ya mean , 'four squid is TOO much for a skinny one'? You do the shopping next time. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2382 He thinks he's riding the crest of success. 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2383 It’s professional courtesy- he’s a lawyer who got in over his head. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2384 Yes, Uber is hiring. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2385 It's that damned "Baby Shark" song I blame for ruining our reputation 1.2593 0.03786 135 110 19 6
2386 My job is to catch the guys who don't get the metaphor. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2387 He's just a chum. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
2388 I took him to Key West and now he wants to go to Mara Lago 1.2593 0.04201 135 103 29 3
2389 He’s from Sea World 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2390 You're right. It is a bit like shiatsu. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2391 I could eat. All I had today was a bagel. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2392 Pilot fish are so passé 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2393 Hang Ten? How about Eat One 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2394 The doctor says it’s just a cyst. 1.2593 0.04579 135 106 23 6
2395 I wasn’t that hungry so I’ll finish it later. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2396 Dinner's on the table. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2397 Periscope up! 1.2593 0.03999 135 108 20 6
2398 Uber is thinking of expanding into new markets 1.2593 0.04814 135 108 19 8
2399 I like working for Uber Eats. 1.2593 0.04928 135 109 17 9
2400 Do you want the legs? I'm not a fan of dark meat. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2401 If they take a selfie and don’t tag me, I eat them. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2402 No Bob, it’s called ashiatsu massage. 1.2593 0.04698 135 107 21 7
2403 Can you feel bone spurs 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2404 Technically, I caught him first !! 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2405 Did you tell him we charge for rides? 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
2406 As soon as this guy gets off my back, we'll have that duel. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
2407 Don't look at me like that! YOU had a monitoring device attached just last year! 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2408 It's called 'yoga'. I hear the humans do it with goats in Portland. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2409 Jaws wouldn't let this stand. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2410 I'm just really full right now. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2411 Did anyone order Scuba Eats? 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2412 I work as a tourist trap. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2413 I call it a periscope. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2414 I'm saving this half for later. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2415 Now do you believe I used to work at Sea World? 1.2556 0.04356 133 108 18 7
2416 I can raise the average IQ in this ocean during lunch. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2417 Jaws is finally out of syndication. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2418 This is why I'm always humming "Duh-dumb, duh-dumb" before I eat these things. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2419 Apparently the 'live surfboard' - thing is a trend now. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2420 Well, it's a living... 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2421 I packed a lunch today. You? 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2422 I blame hoverboards. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2423 Damn. Always when I’m meditating. Can you get this one? 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2424 Well it’s better than being shark fin soup. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2425 I'm stuffed after that last swimmer, but please, feel free to help yourself. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2426 He just made partner. 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2427 We'll have leftovers for dinner, is that O K with you? 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2428 Because then I'd have to find a new chiropractor, genius. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2429 I considered Lyft, but Uber gets me more business. 1.2556 0.02953 133 111 19 3
2430 It's like Uber, for sharks. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2431 What ever happened to the thrill of the hunt? 1.2556 0.04610 133 107 19 7
2432 It's not my taste but I got it half off. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2433 New hood ornament. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2434 Bad timing for us starting that vegetarian diet, Marshall. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2435 Where's baby shark? 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2436 I think it's a wishbone. Make a wish and on the count of three ... 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2437 I'm scared - he's a loan shark! 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2438 If only this guy knew how "in over his head" he really is. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2439 He raised me from birth. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2440 I like to marinate my meat first. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2441 So he doesn't realise he's standing on shaky ground. Are you going to tell him? 1.2556 0.03944 133 105 24 4
2442 White man’s always keepin’ me down, man. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2443 Apparently this is the new tracking tag system. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2444 Enough of this, Are you ready to make a trade? 1.2556 0.04967 133 108 16 9
2445 So, okay, Mom, I turned Vegan - you gonna tell Dad? 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2446 I'll give this guy 10 seconds to get off my back! 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2447 Well sure, it's embarrassing, but if Clara found out I've eaten between meals I'd never hear the end of it. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2448 I haven't the heart to let him know I'm not a rock. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2449 They always taste better without a struggle. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2450 Do I have a parasite on my back? 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2451 It’s a new anti man-eating intervention program. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2452 Here’s your meat order! 1.2556 0.05191 133 110 12 11
2453 I know, I know. "Don't play with your food." 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2454 Wait'll he decides to step off! 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2455 There's a new sushi takeout sandbar – off the west end of the pier. 1.2556 0.04548 133 107 19 7
2456 It’s simple: you take one, I take the other, and each of us makes a wish. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2457 Ok, I'm trying to get with the new "Kindness PR" thing for sharks, but this is way too irritating! 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2458 Great for your back, though 1.2556 0.04290 133 105 23 5
2459 Better than that shiatsu chair I bought. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2460 Let me finish rehearsing for my audition at Sea World first. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2461 And then when back feels better, you eat it! 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2462 Uber Boat may pay the bills, but nothing beats Uber Eats. 1.2556 0.04356 133 106 22 5
2463 Seriously?" "I know... I just didn't have the heart to tell him... 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2464 He keeps calling me “Flipper” too. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2465 He aint heavy. He's my brother. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2466 Would you like to invite him for dinner, or shall I? 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2467 I've never recovered from life at Sea World. 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2468 He's an apex predator. What else am I supposed to do? 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2469 Sorry, I’ve gone keto. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2470 Kevin, please don’t tell my dad... 1.2556 0.03229 133 108 21 4
2471 I haven't been eating between meals. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2472 I believe I was a surfboard in a previous life. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2473 In my previous life as a dog, I learned to balance treats on my nose. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2474 He requested one last selfie. 1.2556 0.04155 133 104 25 4
2475 They ran out of doggie bags. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2476 He feeds me. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2477 This politically correct thing is starting to grate 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2478 I thought this kind of stuff ended when Steve Irwin died. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2479 It's Mueller. He's riding it out. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2480 I’ve always wanted to be a dolphin. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2481 Don't laugh, that itch was driving me crazy. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2482 You know, I've heard of white privilege but this is ridiculous. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2483 He has no idea ! 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2484 I just don't have the heart to move. He thinks I'm a sandbar. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2485 He thinks this is the shallow end and I don't have the heart to tell him. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2486 He's not heavy, he's my brother. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2487 People are friends, not food. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2488 I am regretting being a pescatarian... 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2489 Is there something on me? 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2490 Fishing. Can you believe it? 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2491 I would have eaten fewer of them had I known how good it feels to have them walk on my back. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2492 Jeez Bob. The boss has been on my back all week! 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2493 The stand-up paddleboard craze has brought me a lot of new clients. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2494 Humans are friends, not food Jim. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2495 Support sharks are allowed now." 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2496 Got any ketchup? 1.2556 0.04223 133 106 22 5
2497 Our dining experience just isn't the same. He hasn't looked up from his phone once. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2498 Yes it's stylish, but the screaming is starting to bother me. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2499 No cafeteria for me - I brought my lunch. 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2500 After we eat him, we can break the wishbone. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2501 Let's split it...one leg each. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2502 I think that's President Trump looking for his golf ball. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2503 Stopped smoking weeks ago but there is still a monkey on my back. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2504 This guy must have gills of steel. I've been trying to drown him for hours. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2505 Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2506 I'm tired of dining on all of these free loaders." 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2507 He says it’s symbiotic, but I feel like he’s walking all over me. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2508 When it's my turn, I'll have him stick his head in my mouth. 1.2556 0.02753 133 108 22 3
2509 He's all yours. I'll be the dolphin this time. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2510 I’m full. I thought I’d leave the rest for you. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2511 Soon he'll have to change his name to Bob. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2512 He gave up standing on principle long ago. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2513 His Thai massage is to die for! 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2514 Uber and Lyft pay better, but maybe he’ll hang ten 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2515 I don't like this job either, bit it pays the rent. 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2516 I can’t seem to get this monkey off my back,Stan. 1.2556 0.04851 133 107 18 8
2517 I saw him first! 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2518 Let's grab lunch. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2519 They are calling it Scuber. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2520 He got 'Standing on the shoulder of giants' all wrong. 1.2556 0.04967 133 108 16 9
2521 Well, there are benefits for me too. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2522 I said, "Okay, sure you can swim with the sharks, but who the hell gave them permission to stand on us?" 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2523 It may look demeaning, but I'm told it's called 'rideshare'. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2524 The joke’s wearing fin. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2525 He wants one last selfie. 1.2556 0.04421 133 106 21 6
2526 Show a little professional courtesy to a lawyer, then what? 1.2556 0.04732 133 109 17 7
2527 Let him post a few selfies first. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2528 Jaws" Guilt... 1.2556 0.04086 133 101 30 2
2529 I'll play along for now 1.2556 0.04223 133 102 28 3
2530 I'm not exactly getting paid for the shoot, but I'll get a vignette in the special features. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2531 He's an "ocean half full" kinda guy. 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2532 Have you seen the guy with the tasty looking legs? 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2533 Just wait ‘til he tries to hang-ten. 1.2556 0.04851 133 109 15 9
2534 He’s my midnight snack. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2535 It's the latest new spa package - Thai massage, then lunch. 1.2556 0.04732 133 106 20 7
2536 Don't tell the guys, but I volunteer at You-Can-Swim on Fridays. 1.2556 0.05191 133 110 12 11
2537 These Shark Week photographers are getting pretty bold. 1.2556 0.04610 133 105 22 6
2538 He started with with praise and small fishes just like he did with the Orcas. 1.2556 0.04485 133 104 24 5
2539 So, I launched into my Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry impersonation. I said 'you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?' Epic non reaction. Zip, zero, nada." 1.2556 0.04356 133 103 26 4
2540 Lunch? No! It's Seaworld's first rodeo. 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
2541 It's not deep..... 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
2542 This is why I'm hoping a Jaws reboot gets greenlit 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
2543 Trust me, it's better than my last job. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
2544 Why do you think he keeps saying, "I am proud to stand on the shoulders of those who came before me!"? 1.2519 0.04175 131 103 24 4
2545 I can’t believe you DON’T have one, Trevor. It’s the latest fashion. 1.2519 0.04888 131 106 17 8
2546 We'll attack after he posts his selfie. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
2547 The feet feel really nice but I’m conflicted about the nature vs nurture thing. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
2548 They're calling it "sharking." 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
2549 What do you mean, what’s in it for you? 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
2550 Mine's to go. 1.2500 0.04150 128 98 28 2
2551 Thought I’d get a foot massage before dinner. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2552 Lighten up, it's casual Friday. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2553 I can't eat him he owes me money, so I'm forced to carry him for awhile. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2554 Too easy. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2555 If he shouts "Cowabunga!" one more time he's an appetizer. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2556 Where's the respect. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2557 Just bringing some leftovers to a potluck. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2558 I rented myself out as a floatation device. Imagine his surprise when he gets the bill. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2559 This is the worst back massage I've ever gotten in my life. 1.2500 0.03679 128 106 18 4
2560 Professional courtesy to lawyers Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2561 At least with Scuber I get to set my own hours. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2562 Our relation is somelike long distance relation but more itimate. 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2563 I'm sick of this topping. 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
2564 I'm training him to attract bait. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2565 Welcome to Long Island, where they used to fear us 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2566 When I volunteered to be a "support" animal, I thought it meant emotional support. 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
2567 Get out of the way, I need five stars for this ride. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2568 It's a new fad with a huge downside 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
2569 Did you order the human? 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2570 The kids wanted takeout. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2571 You ordered Jake tartare? 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2572 What are you looking at? Human bait is the new cologne. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2573 My therapist said to keep calm but...he's really pushing my limits here 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2574 False sense of security, and then breakfast. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2575 Of course I'm hesitating--I was a broker in my previous life. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2576 He won the Shark Tank, and I lost. 1.2500 0.05083 128 105 14 9
2577 Yeah, I know. Humans and their last wishes 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
2578 He thinks he’s walking on water. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2579 Pet humans suck! 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2580 A stand in for JAWS 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2581 Did you eat the top half? 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2582 Do we really want to attack the last member of the species that doesn't believe in global warming? 1.2500 0.04078 132 101 29 2
2583 I'm just giving him a false sense of security. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2584 It's the new ride share called aqualyft. 1.2500 0.03293 132 109 19 4
2585 I’ll split him with you if you get him off my back 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2586 Ever heard of the Marshmallow Test? 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2587 I knew I shouldn't have become a vegetarian... 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2588 Take-out for lunch 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2589 He thinks I’m Flipper, lol 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2590 Yeah! They’re not even as meaty as the chicken wings down at The Ocean Club. 1.2500 0.04285 132 105 22 5
2591 ewwwmooommmmm! getitoffgetitoffgeitofffffff!!! 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2592 If you can't eat 'em, buoy 'em. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2593 Once you deliver them to their destinations, you get to eat 25%. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2594 Yeah, but the pay is good. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2595 He has a long-running television show that’s about to make no sense. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2596 I caught this one off the coast oF Long Island 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2597 The flailing is more inspired when they're well rested. 1.2500 0.04217 132 105 23 4
2598 It's my lawyer, he's like family. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2599 It's a little demeaning, but my small business is thriving. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2600 Too lean for me. Wanna try a bite? 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2601 And we look nothing like surfboards. 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2602 Harvard Law. I'm stuck with him for the next twelve weeks. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2603 Yes, but I’m a lot more tempted when he hangs ten. 1.2500 0.04960 128 104 16 8
2604 I’m packing a lunch. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2605 Just download the app: It’s “sharx” with an “x” 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2606 So I started driving for SCUBER . I mean I’m back and forth anyway. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2607 it's like their marshmallow test, Dear... just eat him right now and risk the beach closing down...or wait 15minutes and feast when all his idiot buddies join! 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2608 They really are atop of the food chain? 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2609 He thinks he can still touch here. At this point I don’t know how to leave. 1.2500 0.04854 132 107 17 8
2610 The top half was tasty, but the bottom is stuck on my fin 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2611 Next time I`ll go for the deep tissue, instead of the Thai massage. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2612 The hard part was finding a taxidermist for this trophy. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2613 What he can't see can't hurt him. 1.2500 0.04734 132 106 19 7
2614 Watch me do a 180 and end this stand up paddle boarding craze forever. 1.2500 0.04854 132 107 17 8
2615 He thinks he is on his surfboard! 1.2500 0.04854 132 107 17 8
2616 It was funnier in the conception than the execution. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2617 Did you call UberEats? 1.2500 0.04285 132 105 22 5
2618 They would call it chum. 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2619 I just can't bring myself to do it. It feels soooo good. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2620 I'm going to be late tonight. ...my boss has been on my back all week. 1.2500 0.04960 128 104 16 8
2621 Uber went under. 1.2500 0.03706 132 106 22 4
2622 You smell something fishy? 1.2500 0.05087 132 109 13 10
2623 The invitation said "Bring you own food". 1.2500 0.04352 132 103 25 4
2624 I don't know what it is got into me made me discover my compassionate nature somehow... 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
2625 It sucks being vegan. 1.2500 0.04706 128 102 20 6
2626 It's a steady gig until they get the L train fixed... 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2627 Wanna' see something funny? 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2628 He hasn’t seen the movie yet! 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
2629 Are you a Nurse Shark? He's gonna need you 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2630 Nah, this one's an hors d'oeuvre. 1.2500 0.04078 132 106 23 3
2631 Adjusts my cartilage, then he's a snack. What's better than that! 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2632 We gotta start targeting these millennials. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2633 I like a balanced diet. 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
2634 Human interaction really weighs me down. 1.2500 0.05083 128 105 14 9
2635 'Super Glue." 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2636 I'm going to give him a few more minutes, then it's lunch time. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2637 It’s almost too easy nowadays. 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
2638 He pays $500 a month in rent. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
2639 Swimming with dolphins was one thing, but surfing with sharks...? 1.2500 0.04150 128 98 28 2
2640 The last time I ate legs like that,I became a vegetarian. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2641 I don't think I can tolerate this guys white privilege much longer. 1.2500 0.04960 128 104 16 8
2642 I hate when they don’t bring the food all at once, please, go ahead.... 1.2500 0.04418 132 106 20 6
2643 I ate his surf board and this is what the judge came up with. It's only on the weekends until i can come up with the cash. But you can eat him if you want... 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2644 First they came for the whales... 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
2645 Slim pickens this season. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2646 I was raised in Seaworld. 1.2500 0.04224 128 101 23 4
2647 Yes I know, for 400 million years we were the undisputed apex predators, but pasty-leggs here is a cutthroat big Pharma lobbyist! 1.2481 0.04801 129 104 18 7
2648 How about this, he thinks he can get a free ride. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2649 Stupid humans - in over their head and they never know it! 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2650 It's community service 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2651 He followed me home; can I keep him? 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2652 Are you ready to make a wish? 1.2460 0.04534 126 102 18 6
2653 I know it's unconventional, but it really helps loosen up my back. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2654 It's called symbiosis, Barry. I get a back massage and he gets to not be lunch. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2655 This is the next step after swimming with dolphins. It's also the last step. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2656 Lay off Killer. Our PR has been terrible since Jaws. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2657 My doctor said I need to have a more balanced diet. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2658 Humans...it's like they're trying to get eaten 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2659 He said he’s a fascinator. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2660 I wish they’d cut their toenails. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2661 He's outside my HMO coverage,but what he does for my dorsal pain is worth it's weight in seal. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2662 The polls say it makes me less threatening. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2663 The hardest part is giving up human. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2664 Okay, but I only sold out to A man, not THE man. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2665 Its an experiment, see if we can develop a symbiotic relationship. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2666 I deal with this every year during Shark Week 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2667 Supposedly the adjustments will help with my lower fin issues. We'll see. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2668 I am planning on a light lunch. 1.2460 0.04169 126 97 27 2
2669 I keep telling him he's going to need a bigger shark. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2670 If this is what he thought they meant by 'swimming with the sharks', I'm going to show him what it means to put 'foot in mouth'. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2671 He will be de-feeted! 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2672 He says he's The Fonz and he's going to ruin television forever. 1.2460 0.05125 126 104 13 9
2673 This joker is about to get a food chain lesson he'll never forget. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2674 It's part of the corporate training they're making us do called Being the Master of Your Impulses or some such b.s. like that. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2675 He used to keep a lookout perched on someone else's gigantic tail. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2676 Vegan sucks. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2677 Of course I could eat him. But you forgot I’m a vegan. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2678 Life at the aquatic park sure isn’t Jaws, is it?” Robert Van Brocklin, Portland, Ore 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2679 I hear this all started with goat yoga. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2680 Hazel stared in stony silence. Once again George brought home the dark meat, having selfishly eaten all the white meat on the way home. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2681 I'm using him as bait for something meatier 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2682 HE THOUGHT THEY SAID BAREFOOT IN THE PARK, NOT SHARK 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2683 That's it. I'm so done entertaining people at SeaWorld. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2684 You want a Piece of this? 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2685 He just said come on in the water's fine. Tell the kids dinner will be ready in two minutes." 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2686 They tell me it will improve my sex life. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2687 This is my final test in my weight loss management course. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2688 The stupid ones taste terrible! 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2689 I have no qualms about eating something that stupid. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2690 Sorry, I forgot the milk. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2691 This new yoga is all the rage...humans climb on your back. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2692 Listen, I’m sick of this Circue de Soleil stuff. It’s your turn! 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2693 Yeah, I know how it looks, but Dolphin World was the only one hiring. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2694 Seriously, how did we manage before Instagram? 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2695 What... like you don't have any fetishes? 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2696 I told you I'd get a leg up on you. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2697 I thought it looked nice... But if you really hate it that much, I’ll return it. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2698 I'm his Uber Pool. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2699 Don’t say a word...he was dog paddling and got tired, what was I suppose to do? 1.2460 0.04169 126 97 27 2
2700 Well this can't make my scoliosis any better. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2701 Sure, take it. But the upper half gave me gas. 1.2460 0.04014 126 96 29 1
2702 Where would you like to have dinner tonight? 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2703 I always thought that "headstand" was something different! 1.2460 0.03852 126 100 23 3
2704 I brought my lunch today. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2705 I've got a bite. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2706 Don't laugh, it keeps the dorsal fin from showing. I can get super close before they realize I'm about to attack. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2707 He took a thorn out of my paw. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2708 Dude, make him hang five 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2709 I prefer the pilot fish cleaning 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2710 So I figured, what the hell, why not moonlight as a Segway? 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2711 This one is a slam-dunk. I dunk him. You slam him. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2712 Karl, don't play with your food. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2713 Ocean Uber Eats 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2714 But I do kinda admire his chutzpah 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2715 I'll do dinner tonight. 1.2460 0.04014 126 96 29 1
2716 He won’t swim with us. He says wading is safer. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2717 I’m working PR for Animal Planet 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2718 Amuse-bouche? 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2719 I've had this persistent headache since shark surfing became a trend. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2720 Just let them think you're a dolphin. We'll catch more that way. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2721 It's called a Watsu massage, it was developed by some hippie in California. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2722 His fearless naivety was so endearing I couldn't eat him. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2723 Wait! He says his older brother will be bigger and tastier than he is. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2724 Go ahead and laugh, I'm trying out a 'Stand Up' comedy routine 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2725 In five minutes time he won't have a leg to stand on 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2726 Its not my fault it you didn't pack a lunch 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2727 That's what happens when you go vegan. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2728 I just can’t shake the addiction ! They’re so delicious, but a bitch to clean ! 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2729 I'm just waiting for it to marinate. 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2730 You're late! Dinner's getting cold 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2731 I just ate, so I'm keeping him for tomorrow. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2732 It's not what you think! 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2733 I don't want to drive Uber forever, but it pays the bills for now. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2734 The hindquarters are not kosher. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2735 ... and they think they are at the top of the food chain. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2736 Obviously he hasn't seen Jaws"... 1.2460 0.04319 126 98 25 3
2737 Yeah, he wants to settle down but you know me. I have to keep moving. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2738 He’s holding my phone. 1.2460 0.04603 126 100 21 5
2739 I’ll admit, Uber Surfing is a niche market, but lunch is free. 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2740 One Man's Uber is another Shark's Grubhub. 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
2741 I'm trying. I'm really trying." 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2742 I bit his surfboard in half and this is part of the settlement. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2743 Is this a good wishbone or what? 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2744 Let's just say he's my wingman. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2745 I can't talk now. My food is burning. 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2746 I'm a surfboard. This is my life now. 1.2439 0.05077 123 101 14 8
2747 Never fails. These inflatable humans always manage to scare the baby sharks. 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
2748 It’s a symbiotic relationship so back off. 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
2749 He's on thin ice, well, was on thin ice. 1.2439 0.04667 123 98 20 5
2750 My overbite is the problem. 1.2439 0.04944 123 100 16 7
2751 For dramatic effect I have him make the “dunn dun, dunn dun” noise as I approach the shore. 1.2439 0.04667 123 98 20 5
2752 I've been working for Green Surfboard for a year now. 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
2753 If the rest is anything like the legs, he’s all yours. 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
2754 Apparently jumping the shark is now passe. 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
2755 I know, I know. I'm too aggressive-passive. 1.2439 0.04522 123 97 22 4
2756 I’m helping out with the shark watch.” 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
2757 What? I can't get a massage once in a while? 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2758 My favorite, swimmer surprise! 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2759 I never go anywhere without a snack. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2760 Yeah, but if I get hungry, I just dive. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2761 This is EXACTLY what it looks like. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2762 Well, he's a lawyer so its a professional courtesy thing. 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
2763 Yeah, but have you seen the hair on his back? 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2764 I signed up for Lyft and Uber. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2765 I am so loosing teeth over this new ride-share app. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2766 I don't think he understands the whole "jumping the shark" thing. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2767 Should I tell him I ate his paddle board? 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2768 I picked the wrong time to be a vegetarian 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
2769 What did you do with the other half? 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2770 We're hoping to go viral. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2771 I hate working at Sea World. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2772 Best bobbing-head doll I’ve ever had! 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2773 I’m letting him rest for a moment, they say it makes the meat more tender. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2774 Do I tell him? 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2775 He thinks he's standing on the sand. Should we tell him? 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2776 It was this or becoming shark-skinned shoes. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2777 I know, I know, but he promised me lots of krill. 1.2419 0.04341 124 99 21 4
2778 I've heard they taste better with a squeeze of lemon. 1.2419 0.04028 124 95 28 1
2779 We’ll both die if I stop moving. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2780 I like them sunburnt!! 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2781 Do you think he's gluten-free? 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2782 What about this is supposed to be relaxing? 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2783 I'm using him a bait. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2784 Don't look at me that way. Lyft is expanding and it's a job with a 401(k) plan. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2785 Take over for me, Will you? I’ve just got to get a bite to eat. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2786 i left you half. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2787 I just feel bad for the ones who can't even swim. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2788 Jesus is up to his old tricks again. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2789 What? You've never had chicken legs before? 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
2790 When I ate his surfboard, I didn't know he was a lawyer. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2791 He keeps telling me he’s Brian Wilson, so... 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
2792 But,I saw him first ! 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2793 He was a surfer, I missed. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2794 My therapist told me it would help with developing patience 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
2795 I thought I'd pack a lunch for the beach. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2796 yeah,crazy huh? he mentioned something about a scorpion and a frog... 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2797 I'm conflicted...Am I Uber Ride Share or Uber food delivery ...? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2798 You look different...did you do something with you fin? 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2799 I don’t care what he looks like. He’s my son. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2800 I don’t care what they say, this vegan diet really messes with the ecosystem. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2801 It’s my periscope. The seals never see me coming. 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
2802 Your order is ready. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2803 And heʻs singing the Baby Shark song 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2804 Because he lost his flippers. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2805 Don't even think about it. It's called Thai massage and I've paid 20 bucks. 1.2419 0.04490 124 100 19 5
2806 Hey, George, can you help me out? Is this a pimple on my forehead? 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
2807 My Anger Management class suggests de-escalation but maybe submerging would be better. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2808 You’re acting like you’ve never seen a Hammertoe shark before. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2809 I just ate breakfast at the 'Ride a Dolphin' attraction and picked us up some take-out. 1.2419 0.04562 124 101 17 6
2810 Yeah, I can’t stand Shark Week either, Fred. 1.2419 0.03505 124 100 22 2
2811 I am saving him -- for Lunch. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2812 I wanted to have it removed, but insurance wouldn’t cover it. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
2813 I've been trying to save money by bringing my lunch to work. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2814 Then why do I feel like I’m at the bottom-of-the-foot chain, Gary? 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
2815 But Uber takes most of the fare. I keep almost nothing. 1.2419 0.04187 124 101 18 5
2816 I just feel a need to make some kind of amends. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2817 He’s taking a stand because I ate his uncle last month. 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2818 keepin' him alive and fresh until I'm hungry 1.2419 0.04187 124 96 26 2
2819 How do I tell him? 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2820 I thought they said to pack a lunch??? 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
2821 I’ll eat him right after he’s done with my massage! 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
2822 He won’t be able to keep his head above water in this economy. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2823 What, you've gone vegan now too? 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
2824 It's a shame he didn't come with more legs. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
2825 Did you bring the Old Bay and butter? 1.2419 0.04028 124 95 28 1
2826 They're from the gifted youth program 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2827 I'm keeping this one really fresh, perfect for a nice quiet lunch instead of the usual frenzy. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2828 Does this hat make my fin look fat? 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2829 I'm a vegan." 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2830 I know what Charles Addams would have done. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2831 He said this is more environmental than the traditional surfboard. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2832 I’m full of climate changers. You do it. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2833 He got on at Coney Island ! 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2834 We're shooting 'The Sponge Bob Jaws Movie. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2835 Body surfing, on my body. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2836 Don’t even. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2837 Be still, he is calling for his friends to swim over this way. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2838 I’m pretty sure it was Francine that gave him to me. Anyway I gotta be more careful when I’m drinking. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2839 Don't you dare! 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2840 If it's smaller than a 10 wide, I throw it back." 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2841 I can’t believe you didn’t get the Aquaman 2 callback too. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2842 It beats getting punched in the nose. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2843 What? He said he'd lure in some other swimmers if I didn't eat him. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2844 Your wish has come true, that is Mark Cuban. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2845 Who's left shark now!? 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2846 I'll eat him after the water polo championships 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2847 Does this human make me look fat? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2848 yeah I bought it on Amazon! Best lure ever! Fake a drowning and a whole bunch more come for dinner! 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2849 I know, but it feels so good on my bad back. 1.2397 0.03897 121 92 29 0
2850 Any idea what they mean by extreme surfing? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2851 He likes to do his own stunts, okay? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2852 It's the latest thing. It's called a "to go" snack. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2853 They call it Unter, and, you know, it's a living. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2854 Welcome to the REAL Shark Tank! 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2855 Bite this jerk for me, will you Sid? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2856 200 hours of Community Service. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2857 I am just carrying a snack with me. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2858 I'm running him over to Martha's Vineyard and he promised to give me a toe. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2859 No more messing with me—finally got my sea legs! 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2860 Of all the days to decide to become a vegetarian... 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2861 Making up for the one I ate" 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2862 Do you want the leftovers? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2863 Now, it’s clear how Jesus performed the miracle of walking on water. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2864 I brought a little snack. Would you like a bite? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2865 And you call me spineless. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2866 This is not what I meant when I said I needed a breather. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2867 How are we handling walk-ups? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2868 Okay, you're right. Americans are delusional. Let's eat 1.2397 0.04698 121 101 13 7
2869 And if you stop moving, they'll give you a crappy review. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2870 I don't want to bite him. YOU bite him. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2871 I'm going to wait until he eats the snack box on the beach. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2872 Hold my beer 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2873 Invitation said we're all supposed to wear party hats. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2874 The minute I go plant-based... 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2875 I was typecast as “Jaws,” my career dried up and now I’m doing this. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2876 I'm saving the bottom half for dessert. 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2877 I'm totally addicted to home delivery; the food is always warm, too. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2878 This guy is very lucky that I'm not ticklish. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2879 Perhaps a low I.Q. individual? 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2880 How was I supposed to know he was Neptune’s nephew? 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2881 I needed a lift. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2882 I find when I'm using a teenage bait I can land those lifeguards 1,2,3. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2883 Its "Mr. Wonderful" showing how to win in business. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2884 After the massage I'll share a leg with you. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2885 I thought 'getting then off your back' was just a manner of speaking! 1.2397 0.03897 121 92 29 0
2886 Water taxi is my side hustle 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2887 You ordered the legs? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2888 If he takes another step or two, he's saltimbocca. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2889 Cheapest periscope on the market and likely tasty too 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2890 It's somewhat annoying but they taste way better when caught fresh. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2891 What an idiot 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2892 You take the bottom half 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2893 They taste too un-fishy. Besides, where else can you get a massage? 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2894 I get the legs 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2895 Sure I want to eat him, but I have to maintain my 4.8 rating. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2896 What can I do? He is a lawyer. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2897 Well... haven’t you tried Noom? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2898 And I thought remoras were annoying. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2899 He promised to convince the swim class kids that it wasn’t that deep 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2900 It's a scab. My pilot fish are on strike. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2901 I'm trying a more balanced diet. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2902 My back hasn't felt so good in years. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2903 This guy thinks I am one of those new powered surfboards. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2904 Just my luck, his feet stink to high heaven. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2905 Do you really think a mosquito could kill more humans than a shark! No one should even care about bug spray in summer! 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2906 There’s not enough meat on those legs. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2907 I guess goat yoga is passé. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2908 It's called a side hustle. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2909 He’s my first passenger. It’s an app called Grouper. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2910 I made a deal. He’s on seal patrol. Dan Barrett, Chatham, MA 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2911 And they say their higher on the food chain? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2912 On weekends I make extra money with my ride-sharing app. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2913 As soon as I finish with this massage, maybe we can stop for a bite. 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2914 He’s really not getting my drift. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2915 I would eat this guy, but he's on my L3 and L5, and dude, does that feel good or what!? 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2916 I hate to be a stereotype but will you bite him? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2917 You familiar with The Marshmallow Test? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2918 Tell me again why we are doing this" 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2919 They taste much better semi-dried 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2920 It’s a new X-Game sport... sharkboarding. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2921 Before I rectify this situation, doesn’t it remind you of the old shark-lawyer-professional courtesy joke? 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2922 I threw him up and he's back. Now what? 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2923 I call it Swyft - my new app based water taxi service. 1.2397 0.02041 121 104 13 4
2924 Unfortunately, this is meatless Friday. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2925 One, two, three, flip. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2926 Haven't you heard of the new gig economy? 1.2397 0.04473 121 98 18 5
2927 My client ignored the advice not to take the stand. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2928 It's your turn to float around with him before we go to lunch. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2929 Do you have any hot sauce? 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2930 Oh yeah right there. This guy really gets the kinks outta my dorsal. 1.2397 0.04316 121 97 20 4
2931 He’s a lawyer. It’s professional courtesy. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2932 How long do you think until he realizes he's not on his paddle board anymore? 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
2933 I really miss our fridge. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2934 It's great, I make extra money on my schedule and if you eat them at the end they can't give you a bad rating. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2935 Hey - find your own elasmobranchii craniosacral shiatsu practitioner. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2936 I guess one sandy surface feels like any other. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
2937 Your wife has you doing Meatless Mondays too, huh? 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2938 It's funny. He said he was drowning in student debt. Now he calls me his loan shark. 1.2397 0.05119 121 100 13 8
2939 I like to give them a false sense of confidence. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2940 I'm having it removed next week. 1.2397 0.04154 121 96 22 3
2941 Go for it—I'm more of a breast shark. 1.2397 0.04983 121 99 15 7
2942 I thought I had tops. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2943 Not for just anyone. He's a good chum. 1.2397 0.04395 121 95 23 3
2944 I thought only elephants had trunks. 1.2397 0.04236 121 94 25 2
2945 Why am I giving him a joy ride? He gets relaxed and the meat will be tender! 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2946 Hey, gotta take advantage of the rising sea level. I call it Süber. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2947 Are you ready for lunch? This guy doesn't understand that even at Sea World, we have our limits. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2948 I’m making human leg soup. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2949 Let's share. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2950 Wait till he discovers he”s not standing in the shallows. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2951 Standing room only at the Jaws Fest. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2952 We have a symbiotic relationship - he claims to be eco-friendly not needing a boat and I get human prey easily 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2953 I decided to have my lunch to go today. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2954 It’s the opposite of stepping on a Lego 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
2955 My lawyer's pulling rank. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2956 When you asked me if I would be your stand in, I didn’t think it meant this. 1.2353 0.04083 119 92 26 1
2957 I accidentally ate his surf board. I was either this, or ... do you know how expensive those things are? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2958 I can’t get that Baby Shark song out of my head. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2959 Mom, I’m a dolphin 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2960 I liked it more when they were in the cages. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2961 the bottom half never tastes as good as the top half 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2962 Tell me the truth, does this dad hat scream hipster? 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2963 I’m not hungry, but this is too good of an opportunity to pass by. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2964 Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it your idea to order in tonight? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2965 I get my dinner to go. 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
2966 It pays the rent... 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
2967 I'm carrying my food on my back............he's my "Snack Pak"!! 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2968 I can't. Just started paleo. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2969 He's a real pain in the back. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2970 They call it fish boarding; I call it trolling. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2971 Well, what's YOUR side gig? 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2972 Do you prefer a leg or a thigh? 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2973 The trick is not to rush. Soon, more will come. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2974 Who let this guy into their PhD program? 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
2975 Hey Sal, go up and see how fast this one can swim. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2976 I'm not that hungry, do you want to split it? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2977 Says he's a TV writer and needs to learn fast, how to 'jump the shark'. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
2978 It's all about the optics. 1.2353 0.04418 119 99 14 6
2979 I’m trying shiatsu for my migraines. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2980 I'd say he's a foot and a half from disaster--maybe two feet. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
2981 I’d eat him but he’s a vegan 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
2982 I get a good back rub AND lunch. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
2983 Whadda think of my new hat? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2984 I’m part of a new Uber service 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
2985 Hey, I don’t see you having any luck finding a job 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2986 Wait until you see him, he's scarier than my dorsal fin could ever be. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2987 There's really nothing as satisfying as Ashiatsu barefoot back massage. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
2988 It’s a great bait 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2989 I wish it was a lamprey. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
2990 Take out. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
2991 I'm teaching him how to jump the shark 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2992 I told him I was a dolphin in disguise. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2993 You can't let people walk all over you. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2994 I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like if I say something, that makes me the rude one. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
2995 On the other hand, if I do dispose of him, I'll never get rid of those pesky remoras. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
2996 How long is a water polo match? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2997 He double-dared me not to eat him. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2998 UberOcean 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
2999 Harry. Get it. Get it. It's 'surfing turf!' 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3000 It’s my new start up. I call it ‘Under Eats’. You think it has fins? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3001 You should consider getting a human masseuse too. This back-walking is really aligning my chakras. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3002 His tattoo says “Babe Magnet” so I have an idea... 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3003 He needs work on his sea legs. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3004 He also wears a pair of Crocs. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3005 Humiliating work but they cover dental. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3006 The store was fresh out of periscopes. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3007 I hate being a support animal. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3008 Gerald, Stop playing with your food! 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3009 I have this kink in my cartilage. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3010 The "Coral Seas" now has take-out. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3011 My internist recommended daily back-walking spinal manipulations to release stress-related dorsal fin tension. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3012 It's an investment, he is posting on Instagram. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3013 Actually, George, I'm swimming for a peer-to-peer ridesharing app called SurfSerfs. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3014 Perhaps Darwin was right. This guy claims he is my Uncle Bill. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3015 It's this damn great white guilt. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3016 I'm trying to eat smarter. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3017 It's that cocky Roy Scheider! 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3018 It's cheaper than a chiropractor. 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
3019 Here's your delivery, thanks for using UberEats. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3020 It's supposed to help with headaches. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3021 My kind of restaurant. Standing room only. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3022 Growth? What growth? 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3023 They're better when you marinate them. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3024 I had not choice -- they were out of the small size hood ornament 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3025 When he jumped onboard he kept calling me Uber. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3026 No thanks, I don't need to go out for lunch. I brought mine. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3027 He said "professional courtesy". I want to bite him. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3028 This 'Vegan Shark' ploy is brilliant, Bruce. Just two more days..." 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3029 Do I look like a pig to you? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3030 He tried to jump the shark, but missed 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3031 Do you know what it's like to be stuck with Richard Dreyfuss 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3032 After synchronized swimming, I'm having him for dinner. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3033 He's looking for Spielberg. He works for me. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3034 He thinks he’s in surfing school. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3035 Parasite Laws are Horrible! 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3036 Another whale watcher. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3037 Have you seen the movie, Jaws? 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3038 Go look -- it feels like a set-up. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3039 Let's wait until he's finished texting. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3040 I told the wife I'd bring home dinner. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3041 My wife said we’re going vegan. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3042 It’s called “Sea Uber”. I’m taking this one to Montauk. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3043 Migrate early, they said. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3044 It’s my side hustle. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3045 If I let you take a bite it will ruin my rating. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3046 Split him now and nosh later? 1.2328 0.04216 116 93 20 3
3047 And I'm telling you: It's my turn now. He's been doing you for nearly an hour. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3048 I brought a snack. 1.2328 0.04558 116 95 16 5
3049 I don't have the heart to tell him that he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3050 INFESTED with humans, more like. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3051 They're too stupid to eat. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3052 No Jerry, I don't like you're new hat. 1.2328 0.04127 116 95 17 4
3053 Hi, honey--I brought dinner. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3054 It's a great gig. Uber Waterways lets us join the labor pool. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3055 Well, I get great back massages and luckily for him, it curbs my appetite. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3056 They're actually worth more alive than dead. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3057 Just a Big Pharma exec who needed a professional courtesy 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3058 I'm trying to be dolphin-like, but I should just be myself. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3059 I order them for take-out. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3060 Are you going to help me fish for lifeguards or what? 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3061 Brought some lunch. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3062 I must be stressed. I'm feeling more weight on my shoulders than ever before. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3063 Lunch is so easy this time of year 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3064 no, you can't have the legs again. 1.2328 0.04216 116 93 20 3
3065 Don't eat him - this back massage is doing wonders for neck pain. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3066 He gets a ride for free and I get another set of eyes. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3067 Yeah, but you should see what I did to his surfboard. 1.2328 0.04475 116 95 17 4
3068 I don’t care if he is a big shot attorney, this professional courtesy thing has gotten out of hand. 1.2328 0.04475 116 94 18 4
3069 Apparently shark surfing is the new trend. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3070 Meh. They taste like chicken. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3071 He thought he was appearing ON Shark Tank! Heh 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3072 Nobody fears us since "Baby Shark Doo Doo" came out. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3073 I have the profile of a surfboard. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3074 Ya wanna come over for some leftovers? 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3075 I’m waiting until dinnertime. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3076 I never though massage therapy was this good,Bob 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3077 I’d eat him, but he’s scratching an itch. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3078 Yeah, just until the end of August, then I start work with a big carporation. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3079 It is such a hassle bringing your own food to the beach. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3080 He's annoying me but I just ate. Have you eaten yet? 1.2328 0.04640 116 95 16 5
3081 Another twenty seconds and I get to scratch his. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3082 It's amazing what you can pick up body surfing the net these days... 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3083 Best bait ever for Long Island Sound. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3084 Oh yeah? Let's see YOU swallow a surfboard in one bite! 1.2328 0.04876 116 97 12 7
3085 This actually helps relieve a lot of tension on my dorsal. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3086 I’m saving it for an afternoon snack. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3087 I had to take a 2nd job as a lyft driver. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3088 Don’t do it, Sid. Remember what Mom said. Those things’ll cause splinters in your throat. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3089 Once I land my Netflix special I'll quit UberEats. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3090 Don't touch, I'm working. How else did you think these dumb humans participate in Synchronized Swimming." 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3091 I'm a level 5 vegan. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3092 Would you like to share lunch? 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
3093 I'm thinking about the roll and snap maneuver. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3094 You like it? I picked it up on vacation. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3095 It's the new LIFT service. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3096 They say it's good for your posture. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3097 We met on Tinder. He thinks I'm of a plankton-eating variety. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3098 I like to play with my food first . . . you? 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3099 I'm just waiting 'til lunchtime.... 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3100 Welcome to Shark Tank, Mr. Johnson. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3101 And I'm not even hungry now. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3102 My guess is this moron never watched the movie Jaws! 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3103 It’s worth it for the massage. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3104 In about 2 seconds: the 'sandbar' strikes back. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3105 This dude thinks he’s windsurfing... 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3106 I'm waiting to see if the top-half is any more appetizing. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3107 He kept humming this strange tune and saying he needed a bigger boat, do I decided what the heck, go all in." 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3108 Yes, I’m now employed by Uber. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3109 He's a stand-up type of guy. 1.2328 0.05246 116 97 11 8
3110 Honey, you hungry? I brought home the leftover drumsticks. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3111 Back off! Get your own surfwich! 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3112 Go away. We're a lone shark. 1.2328 0.05387 116 98 9 9
3113 I wasn't very hungry, so I got half my lunch to go. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3114 If I can't get a seal, he's my Plan B ... 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3115 Cause, he's Republican like me. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3116 And I though remoras were a pain. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3117 He was screaming and crying. Then he gave up and started taunting me. And I lost my appetite. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3118 I've changed a lot since my evil days as "Jaws". 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3119 He doesn't understand who the frog and who the scorpion is in this scenario 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3120 When it stops itching, then we'll eat. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3121 Honey,I can’t get dinner off my mind. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3122 It started a few months ago as a small bump on my back! 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3123 Hey Sushi, ready for lunch? 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3124 It’s the latest thing at my yoga studio. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3125 Would sir like some lemon with his legs? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3126 You gotta let them think they're in charge. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3127 It's my new side hustle, Uber Surf. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3128 Don’t judge. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3129 ShUber. Don't judge me. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3130 The doctor says it’ll clear up if I swim in colder waters. 1.2328 0.03941 116 89 27 0
3131 It's for later. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3132 The guy says he never read the Gingerbread Man. 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
3133 I am bringing him home for dinner. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3134 We have an arrangement. He runs a cruise line. 1.2328 0.04391 116 94 18 4
3135 I get no respect. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3136 It's take out dinner. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3137 He thinks I'm his paddle board. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3138 It's my sinuses. Feels like something is sitting on my face. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3139 It's the reboot--he's too old now to actually make it over me. 1.2328 0.03644 116 95 18 3
3140 You want the other half? I'm full. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3141 What? Patience is a virtue. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3142 I drive for Uber. The money's not so good, but meals are free. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3143 He says he has my back. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3144 What was I to do? I ate his mother, and he needed a ride home. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3145 I think you’re right. This is an unanticipated shift in the service economy. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3146 You just download the app. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3147 Do you want the legs or the chest? 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3148 Personal Injury clients are always asking for support. 1.2328 0.04127 116 96 16 4
3149 We can't bite him. Ecotourism is where the money's at. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3150 He's lucky I've gone vegan. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3151 He has 5 seconds to get off my fin! 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3152 But you said you couldn't 'stand' humans. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3153 You can have him, he's gluten free. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3154 It feels so good on my back I am not even hungry. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3155 He thinks he's one of us - but he's just a flippin' lawer! 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3156 This way people think he can walk on water. 1.2328 0.03941 116 94 19 3
3157 It is called Uber and it pays quite well 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3158 Don’t. It’s not worth the publicity. 1.2328 0.04127 116 90 25 1
3159 Give me a break. I owe him one. I ate his mother. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3160 Wanna play 'wishbone'? 1.2328 0.04558 116 95 16 5
3161 It's take out. 1.2328 0.05246 116 97 11 8
3162 The chiropractor says two more weeks 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3163 I've felt so disrespected since the end of Shark Week. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3164 He doesn’t know my favorite story is “The Gingerbread Man”! 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3165 el stupido here thinks he's jumped the shark! 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3166 I just don’t think the free fish are worth it. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3167 Your choice: Chicken or bumpercars? 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3168 He gives great massages, and is cheaper and neater than a pygmy goat. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3169 he's pitching a shark repellant on Shark Tank 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3170 I'm taking him home to meet my parents. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3171 Are you okay with take-out? 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3172 I need to find a new job. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3173 He didn't want me to be a lone shark. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3174 He said he was looking for Crocs. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3175 Oh I know, I'm saving it for later. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3176 Aqua-Uber 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3177 He thinks we're friends. I'm waiting until he shows me off to the kids to strike. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3178 He's pushing my vegan commitment to the limits. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3179 I am interviewing for Sea World,will you be a reference? 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3180 Timing is everything. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3181 You can take his better half 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3182 Fresh and convenient 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3183 Call me Primitive! I don't need a table and napkins for dinner. 1.2328 0.03844 116 96 16 4
3184 I’m working for Uber. A bucket of chum gets them a trip to the island. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3185 He thinks I'm a dolphin rescuing him. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3186 This is getting too easy 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3187 I'll split him with you if you eat the pants. 1.2328 0.04952 116 97 12 7
3188 He feels like jail bait 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3189 No thanks, I brought my lunch from home today." 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3190 A little to the left...aaaaahhhhh, that's it! 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3191 It's Japanese. It's called shiatsu. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
3192 I'll take him out past the surf-line,and we can all have a bite. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3193 He says he's a lawyer and wants professional courtesy. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
3194 Did you order dinner delivered? 1.2328 0.04558 116 95 16 5
3195 This new rideshare gig is a pain in the neck. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3196 You want him? I gave up meat for lent. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3197 Do you want him or not? 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3198 I usually don’t kiss and tell, but... 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
3199 The script clearly says ‘Fonzie JUMPS the shark’, Karl... I don’t get paid enough for this crap. 1.2328 0.04304 116 91 23 2
3200 I thought I would bring a snack for the trip. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3201 It was you who suggested we try reiki 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3202 I think of him as an attractive nuisance... 1.2308 0.04096 117 97 16 4
3203 They had to evolve.... 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3204 Your Uber Eats order is ready. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3205 He wants us to join his firm 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
3206 Sure I like a challenge, but sometimes I’m just hungry. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3207 Junior, I brought your supper 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3208 I asked "Scorpion?" "Frog?" He just smiled, so I told him to climb on... 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3209 I just wish the lifeguard would get off my back. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3210 How long do we need to support this guy ! 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3211 It's okay, he's The Fonz. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
3212 I'm not falling for it again. 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3213 I was burned out. I am trying something meaningful. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3214 Relax, there's no top part." 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3215 No, it’s not a symbiotic relationship. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3216 My driver rating is 4.95. People love not being eaten. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3217 This massage promises a happy ending - the question is whose? 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3218 The doctor said it would help with my lower fin 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3219 Want to split a dessert? 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3220 Each year it gets easier and easier. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3221 It's been like this for an hour. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3222 I would bite him, but I don't want to hurt his self-esteem." 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3223 Have you seen his top half? 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3224 Would you like to join me for lunch? 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3225 Now, watch while I flip this up and catch it in my mouth. 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3226 Just a little snack for later. 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3227 He’s watching out for people with hooks. 1.2308 0.02542 117 99 15 3
3228 He says he likes living on the edge. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3229 Really, I guess it comes down to your definition of "apex". 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3230 I get the feeling I've been stood up. 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
3231 So, how shall I convince him that he doesn't have a leg to stand on? 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3232 I figure, use some bait. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3233 I'm delaying gratification. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
3234 ok, the coast is clear. It is your turn to go fish! 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
3235 "Yeah, but the sciatica relief is unparalleled. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
3236 I'm saving this half for a mid-day snack. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3237 Why do I always have to be your wing man? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3238 "I'm giving him a lift to Amity. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3239 Should we eat him now, or let him scream more? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3240 I'm saving half for tomorrow's lunch. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
3241 We have a "You scratch my back, I'll remove your calluses" type of relationship. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
3242 What, I signed up to be a UBER driver. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
3243 I just didn't have the heart. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3244 I don’t want to hear a word out of you. 1.2281 0.04139 114 89 24 1
3245 I'm still top of the food chain, Frank. Yes, they call for a ride on the app, but I get to decide if I want to accept it. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3246 Would you like to buy a human periscope? 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3247 Look dear what I brought home for dinner! 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3248 I’m working Uber and Uber Eats part-time — can’t recall which one this is. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3249 Work-life balance — you should try it sometime. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
3250 I'm a loan shark, he'll pay for this! 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3251 He's my lookout for fin hunters. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3252 My dorsal was itchy. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3253 He's lucky we've gone vegan last week. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3254 Guess who just joined the sharing economy? 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3255 Do these skinny legs make me look fat? 1.2281 0.03947 114 88 26 0
3256 I try not to cause panics, but they really make it hard. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3257 Why? Because supposedly surfers taste gnarly and bitter, that's why. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3258 I’m saving him for my afternoon snack. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3259 The food chain is a bit screwed up. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3260 Where can I get a pair of those Bermuda shorts? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3261 I'm trying to improve our image. 1.2281 0.04139 114 89 24 1
3262 The ad said ‘stable employment’...I shoulda known... 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3263 He said he needed a leg up; actually, he meant “two.” 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3264 Court orders ...! 1.2281 0.03947 114 93 18 3
3265 He's happy keeping his head above water but I'm taking him for a ride! 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3266 I could eat. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3267 I got five yelps from my last meal...ready to count? 1.2281 0.04044 114 91 21 2
3268 Forget it! You don't stand a chance. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3269 Hanging ten is no longer an option I’m afraid. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3270 I had no idea this was what pool shark meant. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3271 He's ordering me the two for one tuna special in trade for a ride home. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3272 I've got mine, you get yours 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3273 The Swedish was getting old. I decided to try Thai. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3274 We’re just messing with the Lifeguard 1.2281 0.04232 114 92 19 3
3275 Boston Harbor. Says I’m too expensive. Want him? 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3276 I just ate. Do you want this son of a beach? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3277 I know it's embarrassing, but times are tough and this Uber Scuber gig helps a lot. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3278 You didn't know I work for Lyft? 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3279 So Greg, you're saying the dumb ones don't taste as good? 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3280 Apparently it's a killer core workout." 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3281 He told me about a new kind of yoga, and I said: "Sure, my Dorsal's been killing me!" 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
3282 I just feel weighted down. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3283 It's what they call a foot massage. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3284 When his swimming lesson starts, I get first dibs. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3285 Honey, there's something that's been weighing on my shoulders. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3286 This one needs to cook a little longer. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3287 Say, aren't the chum portions getting larger? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
3288 We make less than even Uber drivers, so we take a bite of the customer. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3289 He does wonders for my sciatica 1.2281 0.04139 114 89 24 1
3290 I can’t eat him until I cash out of his hedge fund. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
3291 Brining and sun drying: salt, fat, acid, heat. Don't you read? 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3292 Here's your Uber Eats order. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3293 If this edible hat thing catches on I'll eat my hat 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
3294 I've hated the beach since I first saw "Feet". 1.2261 0.04108 115 90 24 1
3295 It's not that deep; I can still touch bottom! 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
3296 Dinner tonight? I've got too much for just me. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
3297 Apparently, his name is "superego"...but who knows! 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
3298 I can barely pay the fish monger with the cash this UBER Stand Up Board gig brings in. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
3299 You want him head first or feet first? 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
3300 It turns out, I really like surfing. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
3301 Don’t say that I never gave you anything” 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
3302 Morally, I’m against the lifestyle. But my back has never felt better. 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
3303 He says it will rehabilitate our image and I get a week's engagement at SeaWorld. 1.2261 0.04950 115 95 14 6
3304 Working for Uber as a side gig is helping me pay off my student loans. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
3305 You’ll get your sea legs someday. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
3306 There are some downsides to the gig economy but at least my schedule is flexible. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
3307 Is it leg day? 1.2261 0.04108 115 90 24 1
3308 I brought him to share 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
3309 Said he forgot his surf board! 1.2261 0.04464 115 94 17 4
3310 Take him, I'm vegetarian! 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
3311 I already ate the top half 1.2252 0.03661 111 92 16 3
3312 This growth ruins my chances with the seals 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
3313 Upper or lower? 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
3314 He want me to pick up another. Invite the family over for dinner. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
3315 I prefer working with live bait 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
3316 I'm just here to support people. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
3317 What can I do? It was this or become a pair of loafers. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
3318 It's just my side-hustle. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
3319 You told me you liked legs over easy! 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
3320 Is it lunch time yet? 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3321 Disgusting.. it's a literal Jaws remake titled 'No Guts, No Glory.' 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3322 In Amity they say "shak." 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3323 Do you want to pants him or should I? 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3324 I kind of think of him as a sharknerdo. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3325 It's been a long day, so I just ordered some takeout. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3326 I'm sick of acting kind. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3327 It causes way less chaos than a dorsal fin. 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
3328 I know it's not much of role but "Companion Shark" was all they had for me today. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3329 I ate the top part. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3330 What did you do with rest of him? 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3331 I get nervous if I don't keep a little snack on me. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3332 First it was sushi, now Ahiatsu massage, what's next?! 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
3333 Do you want it over easy? 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
3334 Just when you thought it was safe to go onto the sand bar... 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3335 Mom told me about parasites, but this is rediculous. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3336 Noticed squirrels store acorns. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3337 Yeah,now he's got my back,but later I get his. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3338 I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s been up there for hours. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3339 This is not what I had in mind for a "movable feast''! 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3340 I just ate. I'm saving him for later. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3341 In my other life I was a surfboard. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3342 It's for an instagram post. When he stops filming I'm going to eat him. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3343 Who does he think I am, Uber? 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3344 I agree... Ever since Aquaman went vegan, he's been acting like such a wimp. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3345 That's not what I meant when I said get a backbone, Bob. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3346 Look what we have to constantly put up with. And if I bite the kid, all of shark nation will be accused of inappropriate aggression. David Fleischer, New York, NY 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3347 It’s Jimmy Buffet, you imbecile! 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3348 MSGA - Make Sharks Great Again! 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
3349 They really need to re-release Jaws on the big screen. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3350 Can you imagine how many likes I'd get? 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3351 They taste better when they're healthy. 1.2232 0.03952 112 92 17 3
3352 He’s not as irritating as a ramora, and getting into The Hamptons is a snap. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3353 Nah, they’re too bony. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3354 He's from Finland 1.2232 0.04151 112 93 15 4
3355 Sometimes I can really identify with Rodney Dangerfield. No respect. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3356 Yes, Uber has hit the open seas. I figured I'd try it for a while as I'm always just cruising around anyway. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3357 He’s part of my new balanced diet. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3358 It's Damien Hirst. Do you know anything about Formaldehyde? 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3359 Why, it's ashiatsu massage, of course! 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3360 He said if I hold him up he can tell me what the weather's like. 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
3361 She got the house and half of everything I have. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3362 He says he's a remora. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3363 Going vegan is a delicate balancing act. 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
3364 At least I have something to sink my teeth into! 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3365 I'm waiting for just the right moment 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
3366 Nothing beats a neck massage before dinner. 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
3367 Not yet, I’m waiting till he turns 18. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
3368 A little bit higher.... ahhhh! 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3369 I can't hurt him until he sees that he's in danger. You know, like in the old cartoons. Trust me, it'll be hilarious when he finally looks down here and I can eat him. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3370 Dinner cruise ... 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3371 I don't know how much longer I can wait here until I have lunch. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
3372 It actually relieves my back pain. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3373 I thought I’d better bring my own lunch today. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3374 Aquaman forgot where he parked again. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3375 Vegetarian Shark Week sucks. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3376 Did you wait 30 minutes before swimming first? 1.2232 0.04247 112 93 15 4
3377 He can’t swim; plus he paid me lots of money to promise not to tell anyone. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
3378 He's my fish finder. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
3379 It's much more fun once you go vegan! 1.2232 0.04151 112 88 23 1
3380 Was it tasty?" "Not half. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
3381 Yea, He's a stand-up guy. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3382 Evidently, he hasn't seen JAWS! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3383 Because he's managing partner, that's why. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3384 I'm trying out for Aqua-Uber, so don't even think about it! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3385 I'd eat him but he really helps me back! 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3386 No,I'm a bait white shark. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3387 My humiliation is complete. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3388 Does this make me into a nurse shark. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3389 He's sooo lucky I've become a vegan. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3390 When they think you’re a reef it takes all the fun out of it. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3391 Oh my God I felt something! 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3392 To bite or not to bit , that is the question? 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3393 I chose a massage over dinner 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3394 It's Mark Cuban, and he's the star of the show 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3395 What can I say? I owed him a favor. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3396 I feel bad that I ate his surfboard. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3397 I keep telling him, It’s JUMP the shark. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3398 I know you told me not to play with my food but it's just too much fun. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3399 Hang ten? Watch this. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
3400 This sharkboarding is exhausting! 1.2202 0.03987 109 85 24 0
3401 We are waiting for the big wave. 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
3402 Yeah, they call it "sharkboarding", can you imagine? 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3403 I want to give true homage to John Donne and the 'No man is an island' meme, but I'm conflicted because I haven't had lunch yet. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3404 ...But dude! You should have seen us in the barrel! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3405 You're going to need a bigger back. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3406 Ron, get it off 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3407 I know but it's too early for lunch. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3408 He promised to let me eat him when he is done with the water polo game. Care for a limb? 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3409 He gets internship credit at law school. I get free chum. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3410 I'm practicing willpower for my summer body. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3411 For fifty bucks, you can ride a shark. For another fifty, you can be eaten by a shark. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3412 Ya I can play rough. But a little footsie is nice too. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3413 I’ve had a wicked headache for the last hour! Maybe I’m just hungry. Anything around here to eat?” 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3414 These humans are literally giving me a headache! 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3415 I asked him to scratch my back. 1.2202 0.03654 109 91 15 3
3416 Ever get tired of carry-out? 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3417 I didn't read the fine print in that Contract with Kevin O'Leary. 1.2202 0.03017 109 91 16 2
3418 It's only fair. I ate his surfboard. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3419 Ugh, his feet are freezing. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3420 ...it pays well 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3421 Doug, you need to stop letting people walk all over you. 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
3422 I'm trying to ignore it. If I bite it, they cull at least 200 of us. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3423 Wait until this kink in my neck gets worked out. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3424 He found out it's Shark International Vegetarian Week 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3425 Yeah, I know the money isn't great, but at least working for Uber I get to set my own hours. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3426 Honestly, he's done wonders for my back 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3427 its only temporary . he just broke up with his girl._he'll be gone by Tuesday! 1.2202 0.04195 109 89 18 2
3428 Don't blame me. It started as a pimple on my back. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3429 He said he was hiding from a lone shark. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3430 Screw the friendly fish campaign. I wanna eat this guy. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3431 Doing Uber is ok, but you need a phone that works underwater. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3432 I don't have a fork. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3433 Yeah, it's my side-hustle. They call it "Shoga." 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3434 It's just until he gets his swimming legs. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3435 This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted a human for my birthday. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3436 Global warming!!! 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3437 Marge said I needed to take my lunch to go. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3438 Personally I prefer the breast. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
3439 He promised his kids if he can find them 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3440 Watch out, I’m running late for Ubersea 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3441 You seen this guys wife? 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3442 I can't, as much as I'd like to. He said he's a PETA agent and needed a Lyft. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3443 I find it more effective than octopus's aquapuncture cupping. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3444 I like mine half baked 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3445 I don't know how it happened but I can't stay still any longer. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3446 Whatever you do, don’t start your shift on an empty stomach. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3447 The surf gouging always takes them by surprise. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3448 Top half was chewy. 1.2202 0.03987 109 85 24 0
3449 I like your hat. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3450 They call me Uber shark 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3451 Please don't tell me I've got a monkey on my back! 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3452 They say opposites attract. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3453 He’s on loan. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3454 I think this species is learning to adapt... 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
3455 Not sure this ride sharing business is really worth it! 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3456 I know our relationship is unhealthy, but it's nice to feel needed. 1.2202 0.03987 109 85 24 0
3457 ‘Have you seen my dinner?’ 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3458 I'm just waiting for that scary Jaws music. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3459 But I need this job to make fins meet. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3460 I just feel like maybe this politically correct thing is getting a little out of hand. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3461 It's all fake news ... the dumb lawyer jokes and the smart ass dolphins. I'm doing this so they'll leave us and our fins alone. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3462 You can't say I never bring you a tasty dinner 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
3463 Hey, wanna join the finitching school? 1.2202 0.04195 109 89 19 1
3464 It's this new thing called Uber. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3465 I’m beginning to think our new vegan diet is overrated. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
3466 What’s the score? 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
3467 Uber is testing some new services. I prefer passengers over this food delivery though. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
3468 Yes, fine, but what I asked you is, "Do I have something in my teeth?" 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
3469 Stay calm. They can smell your fear of extinction within their personal bubble. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
3470 I'm supposed to swallow him in the next scene but, to be honest, I don't have the stomach for it. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3471 On the surface, it can be fairly unnoticeable, ... 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3472 He smells of pizza. I can’t handle Italian anymore! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3473 Just my luck, another lawyer. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3474 I'm not doing anything until I hear that Double Bassoon 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3475 I don't like this. It seems TOO easy. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3476 That was some party last night. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3477 I’m a cuck. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3478 I'm trying symbiosis this year. 1.2150 0.03990 107 89 16 2
3479 They're texting. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3480 It's a "take home" dinner. 1.2150 0.02826 107 92 12 3
3481 I wouldn’t want to be in Chief Brody’s shoes, it’s the Kintner boy. 1.2150 0.04099 107 87 18 2
3482 Rock-paper-scissors? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3483 I don’t think he knows, but the massage feels great! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3484 Just trying to keep his head above water. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3485 Well, it looks like they need to re-release Jaws for a new generation. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3486 Cuban's giving him a thrashing up there. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3487 My dad thinks it’s hilarious when he puts food on my head. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3488 No, I'm not going to eat him. I swim for Uber now. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3489 Now for his killer dismount. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3490 He's outside of my HMO, but what he does for dorsal pain is worth it's weight in seal. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3491 Ooh! He has pointy toes! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3492 Do I look like a dolphin to you? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3493 Sharks love Uber Eats 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3494 He's standing on the shoulders of Greatness." 1.2150 0.03990 107 84 23 0
3495 This is my camo hat— I wear it and people think it’s okay to swim out here. When somebody gets close enough, WAM, I read them my list of ways I would improve the last season of Game of Thrones by adding light elements of steampunk. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3496 He thinks I'm his surf-board. You've had this problem before, what did you do? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3497 Pithy witticism. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3498 I'm with Uber Eats. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3499 Every now and then I like takeout... 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3500 Extreme sports just aren’t what they used to be.... 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3501 Well I win with the last man standing! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3502 We made a deal. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3503 If you know a better way to get these kinks out, I'd like to hear it. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3504 You have to build their trust before consuming their life. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3505 All he said was "SUP." Care to join me? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3506 He's got chicken legs. I'll wait for the next one. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3507 We just can't eat them all, can we? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3508 He calls it body surfing, but when he falls off I call it lunch. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3509 Leave him alone. I need a good back rub Sidney Delson East Hampton, NY 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3510 I'm trying to go vegan. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3511 And I thought it was embarrasing when they were wearing crocs... 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3512 I'll flip you for it. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3513 I’m hoping to attract one with a bit more meat on it. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3514 Well... Hot yoga seemed too invasive 1.2150 0.04099 107 89 15 3
3515 Don't touch him, he's Swedish. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3516 One of us. He's a loan shark. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3517 sooo not impressed with the swimming with humans at the resort, it's not the life changer I was expecting. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3518 Its Not pot luck? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3519 He's too dumb to eat, probably be bitter. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3520 What a day for my remora to take the day off. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3521 It's called professional courtesy, that's Jeopardy champ James Holzhauer 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3522 If I do not get a good massage, I just eat him. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3523 His profile said that he was a shark in the boardroom. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3524 He's trying to start a new sport called shark-surfing. Let's just say the jury's still out. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3525 He scratches my back...or I eat his 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3526 I would, but it actually feels kinda nice 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3527 Isn't he supposed to jump the shark? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3528 HEADS UP ! 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3529 He thinks he's the scorpion... 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3530 Do you want to tell; or should I? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3531 Fuggedaboutit, I saw him first. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3532 Quick, he thinks it's a sand bar. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3533 He thinks I’m giving him a ride home... 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3534 It was your turn to swim the human. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3535 I work for Scuber on the side. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3536 Is this what they call "Surf and Turf"? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3537 Hon, do you mind having leftovers tonight? 1.2150 0.04605 107 89 14 4
3538 They were out of to-go containers. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3539 I know you think I am spineless 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3540 Who's not in the mood for some beach park skin soup? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3541 What?! He had a great muffin top! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3542 Do you think it bites? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3543 I read that carrying the weight of an average human during my swim helps weight loss, but I can't resist eating those toes. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3544 He's great bait. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3545 On a magic shark-pet ride 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3546 Does this mean we've been domesticated? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3547 They really are unappetizing 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3548 You can have the rest. I lost my appetite when I got to the shorts. 1.2150 0.04605 107 89 14 4
3549 ...and then I just swim away, the '"sandbar" collapses, and you lunge! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3550 He’s way more alarming to swimmers than my dorsal fin. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3551 Maybe we should at least wait until his insurance kicks in? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3552 When the wife feels it ok to come in, we eat them both 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3553 keeping him around for a midnight snack.... 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3554 What?! Everybody's wearing one! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3555 Get him off my back! I brought you lunch 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3556 This one is playing hard to get. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3557 Now I know how equestrian horses feel. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3558 Do I turn him over? Or gobble him up half baked? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3559 The idiot, I told him to walk on water, not on me! 1.2150 0.02111 107 90 16 1
3560 Some guys will do anything to look a little taller. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3561 It’s portion control...I’ll eat the other half later. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3562 Don't let your food play with you. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3563 He didn't jump high enough. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3564 It doesn't seem fair, wouldn't you say? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3565 You ordered UberEats? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3566 He said he was the world’s greatest deal maker so I said, ‘Heads or tails?’ 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3567 If you can't eat em, join them! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3568 I told you that if you fed them they 1.2150 0.04410 107 88 16 3
3569 I don't know WHATS come over me lately! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3570 Oh, it's some kind of proverb, I'm sure. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3571 My agent told me if I took a surfboard gig I'd be able to grab bigger parts. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
3572 I feel so used. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3573 You hungry? I've got dinner on my mind. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3574 I’m his lawyer. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3575 Sure they taste great, but this guy gives a fantastic back rub 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3576 Don’t ask me! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3577 Best back rub I ever had. 1.2150 0.04205 107 92 11 4
3578 Meal prepping has changed my life 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3579 I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for Cirque du Soleil after all. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3580 He just thinks he hasn't gone off the deep end. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3581 Counterintuitive, I know. But it stabilizes me and lets me go faster. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3582 Haven't you heard? Delayed gratification, man! It's the bomb. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3583 Honestly it's called a massage 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3584 Hors d’oeuvres are on me! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3585 I don’t think so, but if it is Aquaman, I don’t want any trouble! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3586 I had a stint at SeaWorld. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3587 You suppose he'll yell "Hang five!" when I get through with him? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3588 I’m helping him save gas. 1.2150 0.03990 107 88 17 2
3589 It may be my fin, but it's gonna be his fin-ish. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3590 He called it a sharkskin suit. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3591 You can have him if you want...not enough meat on the bones for me. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3592 Just like an arrogant white guy -- can't stand on his own without the underclass. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3593 We get no respect since that damn song hit YouTube. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3594 Look at me: I have a periscope and you don't; so there! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3595 We have this deal. He shows his friends he can walk on water, and then he carries me over to the kiddie pool. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3596 I heard they pay the other lifeguards $20 an hour 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3597 The world used to be on the back of a tortoise. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3598 He said he would get me on Bay Watch 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3599 I am really making good money as an Uber driver. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3600 It’s kinda scary. In a very deep voice, this guy keeps saying “dum dum dum dum.” 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3601 He's a member of the Remora Union. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3602 This would have to happen just when I start my diet. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3603 Can you get this guy off my back? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3604 This lure was a stupid idea. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3605 I tried to tell him I'm a shark, not a skate. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3606 I heard you prefer the thighs. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3607 I feel like I've lost some respect since I became a vegetarian. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3608 Synchronized Standing Competition 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3609 If it digs in its toenails one more time I’m going to eat it. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3610 Apparently it’s called “extreme” surfing 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3611 I'd skip it. It tastes like chicken. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3612 Speilberg cut this scene just before release! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3613 He thinks he's Moses. 1.2150 0.03393 107 89 16 2
3614 I'm brining him before I eat him. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3615 Tourists pay better than scientists. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
3616 Hummm... The water is more shallow than I thought. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3617 I get him fish, he gets me poachers. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3618 Well, this is a new one on me! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3619 I’m trying a new thing where I eat half and save half for later. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3620 I'm volunteering with Dins On Fins. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3621 This Uber surfing gig will pay for my trip to South Carolina this winter. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3622 He grew tired of bucking broncos. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3623 he said i could eat his brother if I gave him a ride 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3624 I always come here in July for spine therapy 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3625 What bothers me is that he thinks I'm a segway. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3626 I'll flip you ...er, him... to see who gets the top half. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3627 I can't make out what he wants me to do. Submerge and he'll drown. Surface float and he'll get sunburned. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3628 God, this neighborhood has become so gentrified. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3629 Yeah, I'm worried that he's gonna be COMPLETELY tasteless - just look at those boring shorts! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3630 I miss stand-up paddleboarding. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3631 If I keep this up Netflix will make a documentary about me 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3632 He is supposed to be yelling, "Come on in!" 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3633 I don't know,I'm just not hungry. 1.2150 0.03990 107 84 23 0
3634 Fins don't cut it anymore, but social anxiety still keeps people far away 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3635 Want to make a wish? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3636 It’s a collectable decoy. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3637 I had half for lunch, and I'm saving the rest for dinner. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3638 Sure, Bob, I’ve had a spate of good luck - that doesn’t make it cheating. 1.2150 0.04410 107 91 11 5
3639 He doesn't like swimming so I'm his Uber-shark. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3640 Trust me, it's weirder for me than it is for you. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3641 Yeah, but this one claims he knows the casting director for the Jaws remake. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3642 I guess another one got his better half. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3643 Ok, so it's not goat yoga. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3644 Paying passengers help pay the dental bills. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3645 I'd been warned about picking up parasites in these waters. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3646 Now I understand. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3647 I invested in his business on Shark Tank last night 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3648 Back off, I've been carrying this appetizer for 10 minutes. 1.2150 0.04509 107 89 14 4
3649 I have no idea where I'm going to install the Uber sign. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3650 Ecotourism pays the gills. 1.2150 0.03990 107 84 23 0
3651 He has no clue he is standing on sharkey ground. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3652 Before we take him for dinner, let him give you a Shiatzu 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3653 It's the latest in gadgetry. A human periscope. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3654 Leap, and the net will appear. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3655 This guy is so stupid, I could eat him standing on my head 1.2150 0.04099 107 87 18 2
3656 The top was a little too rare for my taste. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3657 I just want them scared, and I read humans kill more humans than we do.. 1.2150 0.04410 107 90 13 4
3658 You order Door Dash? 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3659 I guess the swimmer was not as fast as I thought!" 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3660 I asked for Swedish not Thai 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3661 I myself prefer the tail! 1.2150 0.04509 107 89 14 4
3662 You actually have to admire his balance. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
3663 Dude, this massage is dooope. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3664 Careful, these waters are leg-infested. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
3665 It’s more than embarrassing. It’s sole crushing. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3666 Will you be paying with cash or credit? 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3667 Order's up. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3668 The fin was getting me the wrong kind of attention. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3669 Uber has expanded. 1.2130 0.04171 108 86 21 1
3670 We’re gonna’ need smaller people. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3671 I feed him minnows; he keeps an eye out for shark fishermen. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3672 Because being his maritime support animal pays in chum, chum. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3673 I know what you’re thinking. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
3674 Can you believe I paid 100$ for this? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3675 Can you imagine the expression on his face when he looks down and sees me? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3676 Could be better than chicken fingers! 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3677 And this was all she left me.... 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3678 Hammerhead? Pashaw! I've got an entire card-carrying union carpenter! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3679 This is not a midlife crisis, it's a lifestyle. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3680 I'm hoping this patch will help me quit the habit. 1.2115 0.04567 104 87 13 4
3681 It’s just in case I feel like a snack. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3682 I,ve got gas. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
3683 Technically it's cartilage 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3684 You've heard of goat yoga? Well, this is as close as I could get. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3685 Get it off! Get it off! It's so disgusting...any moment it's gonna drop plastic trash on me. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3686 It repels the remoras. 1.2115 0.02791 104 85 19 0
3687 It’s my lunch, I’ll eat it at noon. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3688 I know, right? Fear-induced immobility was supposed to be our thing. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3689 Listen...I’ve been getting cold feet...” 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3690 I just can’t wrap my head around this! 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3691 I’m trying that new service “Food to Go” ! 1.2115 0.04464 104 86 15 3
3692 It's the Surf 'n' Turf special. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3693 What’s your problem? I was feeling magnanimous. 1.2115 0.04024 104 82 22 0
3694 That explains it. I was wondering where the other half had gotten to. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
3695 I mean, standing on water won't make them think too much of him, right? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3696 I'm just pulling his leg. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
3697 Millennials. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3698 I know, I know. But the price was surging, I had to take the fare. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3699 I thought our PR could use a boost. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3700 If this idiot doesn’t get off me soon, his nickname will soon be “stumpy.” 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3701 I'm depressed 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
3702 Next time, let me know when you're coming for dinner 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3703 The moron thinks he's standing on the bottom. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3704 It makes me more aquadynamic. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3705 These mandatory lunch breaks are killing me. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
3706 Just another example of 'the man' keepin' us down 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3707 It’s supposed to help with the cravings. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
3708 Yep, well, many a truth is told in jest. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3709 No thanks, you go ahead. I’ll be eating in tonight. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
3710 I knew those shark tracking apps would lead to no good! 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
3711 He’s with the crew of ‘Shark Week’ 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
3712 This court dismisses pulling a rabbit out of a hat as evidence 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
3713 What are you doing after dinner? 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
3714 I'm not sure why I keep him. He does like sardines, though. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
3715 He pays me scale. 1.2095 0.03991 105 83 22 0
3716 Have you ever lost your appetite for no good reason? 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
3717 So much for biomimicry, he knows there is nothing like the real thing. 1.2095 0.03991 105 83 22 0
3718 You want to be the one to break the news, or should I? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3719 And then they wonder why. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3720 Another “Shark Tank” loser! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3721 It's called ashiatsu massage and all the sharks are doing it. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3722 I felt bad for the kid, Jerry. Prom weekend and he couldn't afford a limo. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3723 The millennials needed a new trend after self-driving cars. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3724 Like to come to dunner tonight? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3725 I know, I know.... 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3726 Bruce, remember: humans are friends, not food. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3727 It's mutualism. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3728 I don't think this guy's keto diet is working out too well. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3729 Wait. I thought you said "Beto" diet. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3730 You ever tried bait? 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3731 Picked up surfing as a hobby, but it's more of a headache than you realize 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3732 Third time this month I've been mistaken for a surfboard. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3733 It must be tourist season again... 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3734 I was told around here it’s not illegal to use live bait 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3735 Good morning. Old chum. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3736 service with a smile 1.2059 0.04258 102 88 12 2
3737 He's MY lunch...he just doesn't know it yet...first, I have to work up an appetite first by treading water in place for 10 minutes while he plays to the crowd on the beach. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3738 Sorry but I don't like raw fishermen... 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3739 My therapist says this is good for me. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3740 We wait till they Q the music. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3741 Can you tell I already ate the top half? 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3742 I feel so violated. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3743 I thought it was just a headache. 1.2059 0.03508 102 84 17 1
3744 He thinks he's on a reef. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3745 First I braise them 1.2059 0.04480 102 85 14 3
3746 He promised me a job. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3747 He thinks he's playing Jump the Shark. I hope he tastes better than the last one. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3748 I save the drumsticks till last. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3749 Skinny is still tasty. 1.2059 0.03219 102 88 11 3
3750 I regret taking my food to go 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3751 I have your order for delivery... 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3752 Yeah, it’s hard not to eat him, but it’s great for the cartilage and inner core muscles.” 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3753 This economy, am I right? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3754 This time, forget about the deep-fried wings and keep it simple. The left leg is yours and the right is mine. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3755 Even the tourists found out Martha's got me on the kelp. I've been giving dorsal fin rides like I'm some kind of dolphin, all month. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3756 I always like to bring a snack along. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3757 What can he be thinking? 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3758 His hepatitis screen is pending. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
3759 This chum is getting too chummy. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3760 I don't know, Bob...I fear that I've lost my edge. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3761 You ever have one of these? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3762 I thought I was tough but lately, I've been letting people walk all over me 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3763 They're the only parts I'm really interested in. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3764 I'm starting to think it's political. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3765 Would you believe, this is harder than it looks! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3766 Three is a crowd. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3767 I got community service for eating his surfboard. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3768 He really gives a great foot massage. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3769 Last week I mistook his surf board for meal. I guess now it's his turn. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3770 I signed up for "Swimming With the Humans" but I think he signed up for something too. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3771 I saved the drumsticks for you. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3772 Sometimes it's not easy to keep my food fresh. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3773 You know we can't stop to chat. My Uber rating is already down to a 4.7. Also, I'm pretty sure we'd die. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3774 Listen doc I just want this *thing* off my *back* 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3775 This one tips in sardines 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3776 Oh that's John, he thinks he's a remora. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3777 Me neither. I don't understand fashion at all. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3778 The orcas have given up. It's our time to shine! 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3779 I'm going back to remoras as soon as his contract is up. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3780 I took it home because waist not want not. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3781 It mostly helps with spine alignment. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3782 I told you to pack your own lunch 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3783 It's like he's baiting me into acting like a shark. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
3784 I'm baiting him for a larger one. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3785 Apparently, more environmentally friendly than speed boats 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3786 I happen to like the mixture of wet and dry meat. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3787 Well you know what they say, “If you can’t eat ‘em adjoin ‘em”. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3788 It’s all the rage....he’s a chum 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3789 What, never seen a shark getting a foot massage? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3790 I can’t decide whether to eat him or just enjoy the massage. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3791 When he falls off, I'll gobble him up. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3792 My wife said it was pot luck. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3793 I think this stand up paddleboard craze has gone too far, don't you agree? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3794 Baby shark do do do do do do 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3795 Where are the plates? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3796 It's desperate attempt to repair our public image 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3797 Go On. Just say "Polo"... 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3798 Which of us will litigate this? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3799 It's hard to get a day's work done with a monkey on your back. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3800 He wants us to help demonstrate his new shark repellant on Shark Tank. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3801 Diets suck. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3802 I thought global sea level rise would be a good thing. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3803 Dark meat is juicer. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3804 He told me this would be good for my root chakra, but I think I'd rather just eat him. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3805 He is lucky I don’t like the taste of humans. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3806 Let's talk about table manners, The lower part in water is mine and the upper one is yours! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3807 It was a bad itch. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3808 We have a working relationship. He rubs my back. I clean his feet. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3809 Foot massage before dinner. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3810 I miss when they'd just jump us for attention. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3811 Yeh, I know it looks weird. But he asked nicely and, you know, I couldn't say no. Anyway, if he is going to be some sort of Grand Poobah he will have to learn how to swim with us. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
3812 I/m saving him for lunch. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3813 Moonlighting for Uber. Why do you ask? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3814 God I wish I was a piranha! 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3815 just helping change the bad PR from Jaws #6. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3816 I can't get rid of this monkey. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3817 Do you want to take this one? 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3818 There I was couch-surfing...now I can't get rid of him! 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3819 Would you mind doing me a little favor? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3820 The least he could do is cut his toenails. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3821 It's Uber's new service...finsharing. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3822 First it was just incessant singing, now a movie adaptation? I don’t know, Mama Shark... what should we doot-do-do-doot-doot-do-do-do...? 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3823 Please say you will stay for dinner. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3824 NO!! You cannot have lunch with him after he finishes my back massage! 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3825 He told me that since I prefer dark meat, he needed to get some sun! 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3826 We can do lunch after my back massage 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3827 At times, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.... 1.2059 0.04894 102 87 10 5
3828 Improves the freshness and gets the blood pumping. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3829 I brought my half, where's yours? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3830 I saved you the drumsticks. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3831 Have you seen the guy on the surfboard? 1.2059 0.04370 102 85 14 3
3832 Quick ... before Secret Service shows up ! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3833 Just remember, these free rides pay for the groceries. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3834 "He's only helping me with my back pain, Karen." 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3835 I brought a dish to pass. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3836 Let's flip for it. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3837 I'm saving this half of my lunch for later." 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3838 It's a gig ocean. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3839 Don't say it! I've got a monkey on my back. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3840 I'm starting an Uber Water Taxi Service. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3841 What’s really annoying is he keeps calling me ‘Mac.’ 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3842 Don’t worry, I’ve got dinner handled.” Darilyn Bennett, Salem, Orego 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3843 My therapist says this works for anger management. 1.2059 0.04142 102 84 16 2
3844 My lawyer is a real shark and he going to eat you alive in this divorce! 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
3845 He’s all yours after my back rub. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3846 Dinner winner, I called tails. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
3847 Yeah, I like the aquatic stuff but these ashiatsu massages are wonderful! 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
3848 Gillbert: He keeps singing "Baby shark, doo doo doo doo" every time I pass by. Jawshua: Humans - think they own "everything!" 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3849 you gotta go see my guy, best shiatsu in the Atlantic 1.2020 0.04181 99 82 15 2
3850 0kay ‘Bad Shark,’ you’re up. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3851 So what if you're hungry. How often do we run into a Ashiatsu therapist? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3852 I like a good foot massage before dinner. 1.2020 0.04056 99 83 14 2
3853 We can't keep meeting like this. I just can't do it to Stan - he's in such a vulnerable place right now. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3854 I know we said it is only temporary, but they really are being priced out of the cities. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3855 All I know is they work at the White House. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3856 Look, you said there are plenty of humans in the sea, and you were right. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3857 He told me the lifeguards are yummier. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3858 I ordered carryout. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3859 It relieves my stress. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3860 What? You've never heard of decoys? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3861 It was either this or sharkskin boots. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3862 I can't stand these bloody humans, mate! 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
3863 I’m with a hedge fund now -mostly serving as team metaphor and then doing some executive coaching for the guy standing on my back. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3864 I'm still waiting for a few more surfers for our Spring Frenzy. 1.2020 0.03927 99 81 17 1
3865 I know he treats me like a doormat. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3866 It'll be great. They enter our tank to pitch ideas... 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3867 That's the last time I tell anyone I'm a Sand Shark. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3868 I'm supplementing my income by driving for Uber. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3869 He thinks I'm his surfboard 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3870 His name is Remora - he’s a pain in the ass. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3871 I actually feel sorry for him. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3872 He saved me from being finned. I'm saving him for lunch. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3873 You are a killer shark and you are getting stepped on...whose fault do you think it is? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3874 It's therapy to keep me from constantly moving, moving, moving. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3875 Table for one? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3876 We'll eat after he finishes his terrific back massage." 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3877 Another delusional human who thinks he can float...as if such thoughts can really expand the mind and body weightlessly. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3878 I just don't have the heart to tell him! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3879 I didn't expect driving for Uber Ocean to be this humiliating. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3880 My rating dropped two stars after I ate my last passenger. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3881 I told you lunch would be on me! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3882 I admit it's lunch on the hoof, but it's better than brown-bagging it. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3883 This deep tissue massage is great at increasing blood flow, relaxing my back muscles, and releasing stress! 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3884 I admit it, it’s not very well paid, but Uber have been very eager to expand 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3885 I'm trying to avoid the bad press. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3886 The goat wasn’t available. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3887 tastes better after happy hour 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3888 He paid me three fish so he could look like he's treading water. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3889 I'm vegetarian 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3890 Spielberg said I could audition for the Jaws reboot if I take him to Maui. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3891 He says his name is "R. E. Mora". 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3892 These new ride share apps are getting out of hand. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3893 Watch what you sign. I assumed he was going to jump over me, not onto me. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3894 I can't help it, he is a Republican. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3895 They were out of pilot fish. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3896 I'm bringing lunch today 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3897 He's looking for a smaller boat. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3898 Wishbone! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3899 If he hurts, I eat him. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3900 Uber for Sharks. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3901 Have you felt their skin? It feels so weird, like sandpaper. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3902 It's an audition for an allegorical film--"Drowning, Trust, and the U.S. Senate." My agent here says I'm right for the part of Mitch McConnell." 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3903 it's an actual pilot.. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3904 He thinks I’m a sandbar... 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3905 ...and his third wish was to put him on Shark Tank. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3906 Better hurry, the buffet is about to close. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3907 Filling in until a replacement is found... had it BEEN a seal, I wouldn’t be in this predicament! 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3908 I lost a BAD bet damn it!! 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3909 Get this guy off my back please. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3910 I figure if he can strengthen his core like this, he'll eventually taste a lot better. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3911 It's s nice way to relax before meals. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3912 If the second half is anything like the first there’ll be plenty to share” 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3913 Lately I've been feeling like a person out of air 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3914 I just prefer to have a masseur over a masseuse, Brian. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3915 Felt cute. Might eat later. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3916 I'm transitioning to sole. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3917 Is this a nightmare out of some movie or what? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3918 He used his Unter app to hail me. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3919 He's my shiatsu therapist. I picked him up off the coast of Japan. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3920 It's supposed to be good for headaches. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3921 Sure he looks appetizing, but if I eat him Uber won’t process the fare. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3922 What can you do when you don't have a refrigerator? 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
3923 Zack, is there a human on me for the 100th time this week? 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3924 He’s sure gonna be surprised I’m not a sandbar. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3925 This guy thinks he's getting a submarine free ride!! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3926 Pret a Manger carry out 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3927 My doc tells me that I have a delusional idea that I’m a lamp base. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3928 Perryscope 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3929 It's Shiatsu. I'm always sore after a feeding frenzy. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3930 Thanks. It's Tom Ford. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3931 Oh, I know, but where's the challenge? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3932 Yeah he's pissing me off, but they already think we're crazy enough. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3933 Like we’re not TAKING jobs from dolphins, we’re just way less entitled workers. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3934 You eat him. I just don’t have the heart. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3935 He gave an amazing pitch for his invention, and I can’t help but support him. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3936 I said that if he lures in four others for me, he gets to walk away. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3937 I hate surfers. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3938 Trust me. Wait for the helicopter. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3939 If I bite him, he'll never give me a 5-star rating for this ride 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3940 I hate it when the Dolphin Encounter gets all booked up. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3941 I work for Uber. What about you? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3942 I picked up a side gig driving for Dryft and Tuber. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3943 Let me tell you, kid - Speilberg would never have let this happen. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3944 Stop teasing me. I forgot to put my lunch in my locker. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3945 I don’t care what ‘shark chum’ is supposed to mean; he’s my friend! 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3946 Has he mistaken me for his Stand-up paddleboard? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3947 I swear the Groupon said couples massage. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3948 There's one in every crowd. 1.2020 0.02678 99 85 13 1
3949 Modern times calls for modern invention, he's my periscope. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3950 I said: 'Look, Jonah, try a whale--more your size' and he goes: 'Yeah, but I'm allergic to all the plastic crap they now eat.'" Murray Block, Albany, New Yor 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3951 It tickles, but I'm still gonna eat him. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3952 Now what do I do? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3953 He keeps me balanced 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3954 Yeah, this gig can be a pain in the neck, but I make a killing on surge pricing. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3955 You've already had the other half. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3956 It started as a growth on my dorsal fin. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
3957 I asked for the leading man but got his stand-in. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3958 Watch closely and learn and I will show you how to toss the salad 1.2020 0.04056 99 79 20 0
3959 This is just too easy! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3960 I really don't mind. It keeps me settled. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3961 If you ask me, this predator-prey relationship business is a bit overrated. 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
3962 And then he said something about law school and professional courtesy. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
3963 Don't ask me to break my agreement with Uber. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3964 I make extra money as Blubber driver! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3965 Is there any leftovers left on me? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3966 We're shooting "Man-nado." 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
3967 I swear I always have food on my mind. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3968 I know I've been getting drunk lately, but I've got a lot on my back so back off, Sue! 1.1979 0.05261 96 82 9 5
3969 I know he's not the star he use to be but ya gotta admit Swimming with Sharks II is real timely annnd he got Harvey to green light it!!!!! 1.1979 0.05048 96 81 11 4
3970 No, I'm not ride-sharing with you. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
3971 Next on ‘Shark Weak’ 1.1979 0.05261 96 82 9 5
3972 Do you want the Democratic or the Republican side? 1.1979 0.05261 96 82 9 5
3973 It started out as a patch of eczema! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3974 There's something gross on my back isn't there? C'mon, what is it!? Glen, get it off me! Please, Glen? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3975 This Grandpa shark thing has gotten out of control... 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3976 I liked them better when they were just paddleboarding 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3977 I don’t know how this marriage is going to work if you don’t respect my hobbies. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3978 Of the barefoot massage doesn't do any good, I know he'll make good sushi. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3979 It's called "Ashiatsu". 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3980 Don't judge me. I'm using my discounted massage Groupon. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3981 Sam, would you get this guy off my back! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3982 I was laid off so I’m phoning it in. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3983 He was a loser on Shark Tank 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3984 He thinks he's being funny. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3985 Freeloader.....Free Lunch! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3986 I’ve lost my touch. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3987 It's the latest - show your dorsal torso above the water line. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3988 Wait till his check clears. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3989 He wants a pedicure! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3990 These new requirements from Uber and Lyft are getting too much for me 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3991 I’m on a nylon-free diet this summer. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3992 But I just turned vegetarian!’ Catherine Burgess Somerville M 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3993 I’m going topless. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3994 At first, it was annoying. But now I find it's good for my posture. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3995 I really do it for the health insurance. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3996 Believe me, nothing cures a stiff fin better than a Thai Massage session. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3997 My new job as a paddleboard is great - I don't have to chase humans, and after six months I qualify for health insurance. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3998 You've heard of having an albatross around your neck, well, ..." 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3999 At least I didn't eat my human! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4000 He says he needs to "get his feet wet" before he tries to "jump" the shark. Whatever that means. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4001 This is yet another example of why it's important to read the fine print. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4002 Swimming with the dolphins is out. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4003 I told him and told him, but he just won't listen. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4004 No, you can't have a bite. I'd get a terrible Uber Review. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
4005 I like to relax them before I eat them. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4006 My therapist says you carry your emotional baggage in your dorsal fin spine. Honestly I thought it was a lot of hoo hah but lately I really feel it. The break up, climate change, my mother, all of it. Right in that spot. Just like, ugh! Baggage! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4007 It was floating around Plastic Island - a throw away from "Jaws". I call him 'Bruce'. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4008 I have a foot fetish. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4009 Ten-Toe massage, then dinner. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4010 You try eating him. I can't. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4011 You've never tried it? 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4012 Hey, don't let the man get you down. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4013 You look different...new haircut? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
4014 I'm becoming a vegetarian and BTW he gives a good back massage. 1.1959 0.04051 97 78 19 0
4015 He thinks I'm a stable genus. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4016 It’s the new gig economy 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4017 I know you have the other half. 1.1959 0.04308 97 83 11 3
4018 Frank thought it would be funny if I had to wear it tonight for the bachelor party. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4019 Close, it's called Under 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4020 Uber water rides are my side hustle plus if I get really hungry I can have a snack. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4021 It's like a GoPro, but with feet. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4022 I have to keep moving or else he'll die. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4023 I've found surfing is a good way to eat people. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4024 Uber is easy money—just sayin’. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
4025 This 'Uber of the Seas' gig is only temporary. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4026 You're ruining Shark Week 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
4027 now:SMILE! 1.1959 0.03916 97 80 16 1
4028 Humans who make one nasty mouth noise tend to make them all. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4029 I think this is what the humans call hitchhiking, or is it surfing? 1.1959 0.04181 97 81 14 2
4030 I decided to pack lunch this week. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
4031 I know you're judging me right now, but I just don't think western medicine has all the answers. 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
4032 Vegetarianism. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4033 Sorry, I already ate the white meat. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4034 I suppose it's better than him driving drunk" 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4035 I thought I could pull off a long con. 1.1915 0.04965 94 82 7 5
4036 This is 2019, man - son of a mermaid!! 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4037 I just feel like no one respects us anymore since this “Baby Shark” song 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4038 Gary here convinced me try intermittent fasting. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4039 Shall we toss him back in? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4040 Because I am surfeited for now! 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4041 Oh I’ll eat him, as soon as he finishes updating my Facebook profile. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4042 If he doesn't get off, I'm joining the Sharknado. 1.1915 0.04481 94 80 11 3
4043 Is it safe to say Shark Week fosters the overconfidence that makes white male privilege so annoying? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4044 If I can't make the dramatic approach with my dorsal fin ominously slicing through the water, what's the point? 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
4045 All I've heard the whole way here is "you gotta wait until you've tried one of Nathan's footlongs". Oh, it seems dinner has just arrived. (Comments overheard at Sharky's Deli, Long Island NY) 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4046 Not much of a symbiotic relationship eh?! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4047 There has to be more to life than eating. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4048 Let's just say I understand the average American swimmer. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4049 Wanna join me and my chum for take out? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4050 What some people won’t do to look taller. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4051 Off the top of my head, it's about two feet or so. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4052 You want me to eat him for you, too? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4053 Standing on, as opposed to jumping the, implying hopeless idiocy is actually strategic . . .. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4054 This is my community service for eating his surfboard. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4055 Don't believe it! You can't pay the kids' tuition on your Uber pay. Swim! Swim far away! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4056 I'm getting a crick in my dorsal fin. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4057 Honey, it was an accident. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4058 He's posting a selfie of him and me. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4059 Okay, so what’d a great white do? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4060 YOU GO AHEAD. I JUST ATE A BIG LUNCH 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4061 He says he won't indict me if he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Can you help me? 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4062 This is just getting too easy. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4063 It’s worth the wait. If he actually gets a bigger boat we sink it and eat them all. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4064 Dude I’m tellin’ ya, if you need a few extra clams, check out UberAqua. This guy ordered a Great UberWHITE so I got a sonar ping. Once I drop him off, I pocket a couple fins. It’s the beginning of a beautiful symbiotic relationship. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4065 It’s sort of like having a monkey on your back 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4066 Some people will risk everything for a free ride. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4067 It's take-out. I didn't want the bag. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
4068 The job pool is pretty limited when you hit my age. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4069 What do you mean you 'went vegan'? 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4070 I hate take-out. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4071 Day 12 of my Total Body Workout Challenge just said: legs. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4072 Blessing in disguise! This Handsome Meal asked me for a Lift 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4073 Whatever I just ate tastes like styrofoam 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4074 That'll be 10 dollars sir, and thank you for choosing Scuba Eats. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4075 I was saving some for later, but I can’t remember where I put the rest of him 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4076 It's called sharking 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4077 The smart money is on 30 seconds before he realizes I'm not a surfboard. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
4078 Well at least it's not a monkey. 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
4079 It's not the weight, it's the smell of those feet! 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4080 Air, land and sea....Uber alles. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4081 It’s called Shuber and they say it’s going to be very disruptive. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
4082 Foot massage. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4083 It's the newest rage. I think we'll all be wearing a human by summer's end! 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4084 I’m board. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4085 He's upset because I don't have pearly teeth. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4086 Why do I always get the goofy foot? 1.1868 0.04532 91 78 10 3
4087 Yeah, athelete's foot sounds bad, but the doc says it's nothing more than a fun guy. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4088 Is there something on my face? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4089 Fonzie landed! 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4090 I'm supposed to wait until he says, "OK, boy!" 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
4091 I was going to eat him but it’s a waist. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4092 I feel offended when people say I have a chip on my shoulder. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4093 You placed the Uber Eats order? Sorry about the missing arms. 1.1868 0.05393 91 79 7 5
4094 It's touching me! 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4095 Scab! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
4096 Good luck, Bob 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4097 Yea it’s a lot of extra swimming but I get to eat a lot of interesting people. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4098 Evolving Remoras... 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
4099 But he's right on my pressure point! 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4100 They call it ‘Millennial Surfing.’ 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
4101 I don't love the crowds at this beach, but I'm rarely hungry. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4102 Hey! Stop giving me that look! 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
4103 He keeps saying, 'I told 'em they're gonna need a bigger boat.' 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4104 Talk about lazy. Won't even swim. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4105 Don't look at me that way. It's the latest thing - I thought I'd try it. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4106 Ever since I went vegan, I've been constantly tempted. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4107 No, it’s not a wishbone! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4108 This Uber gig just doesn't pay enough! 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4109 Dinner to go is convenient, but it has its negatives. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4110 I’ve signed up to Uber. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4111 What one has to do just to get a meal! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4112 I love those oriental foot massages 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4113 My therapist says I need to be ok with the fact that some people are going to walk all over me. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4114 If he pees, I want overtime. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4115 He agreed to be my lure for bigger people. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4116 He promised me he bring me all of his in-laws if I take him to shore. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4117 It’s a swim-sharing service. You’ll never guess where I got an investor. And if my rider leaves a bad review, I eat them. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4118 I’m taking the leftovers to work for lunch tomorrow. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4119 The humans call it SUP - Shark Using Pedestrians 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4120 Ready? On the count of three... 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4121 I'm testing a new ride service called FUBER -Fish Underwater Bleeping Efficient Ride! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4122 This is what's left over. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4123 When I say I have a monkey on my back, I mean it literally. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4124 Yeah this is the testing my patience therapy. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4125 I count six basses, eight cellos, four trombones and a tuba. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4126 Surfer à la mode. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4127 The monkey on my back has evolved. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4128 SoCal is getting so expensive they can't afford surfboards anymore." 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4129 lets show him some real shark fin soup 1.1798 0.03769 89 77 11 1
4130 It's called ashiatsu. I find it very relaxing. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4131 It’s called massage. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4132 I saved half for leftovers. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4133 He's bait... 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4134 Has this ever happened to you? I'm cruising the surface checking out the surfers and this guy jumps off his surf board and onto my back. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4135 I wish he'd just jump already. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4136 The dolphins say he'll get me into show biz. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4137 Can you please just not get so much blood in my eyes this time? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4138 We’re both trying to be more green. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4139 Ashiatsu AF 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4140 He thinks this make him a “great white.” 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4141 He's going to need a bigger floatie. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4142 And you wondered why we have this sandy skin..... 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4143 Nah! He's a vegan. They're stringy 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4144 I saved the chriropractor for dessert! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4145 He' s refusing to pet us today. So, what's eating at him 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4146 There's on right on top of me, isn't there? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4147 Get your camera and say wait, wait, wait, okay. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4148 It’s a luncheon for Dad but he said we can do the wishbone 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4149 He tried to jump the shark, but it didn't work. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4150 It's the latest fad. Foot message before you eat. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4151 Decent wage, doo doo doo doo doo doo" 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4152 He'll only give me three stars unless I take him right up to the beach. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4153 Yeah, and _they_ hide hooks in food. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4154 The things they make you do when it’s not shark week. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4155 He is asserting his white male privilege. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4156 Since Linda had the kids, I've been ride sharing in the evenings to cover the bills. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4157 Just trying to make ends meet. It's a new service: UberShark 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4158 It's a new lure I'm using. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4159 I really need to think more deeply about working these beach parties. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4160 Mixed us up again with the tv show, but you’d think they’d at least come up with something useful for us for a change ! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4161 He's more inviting than my dorsal fin. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4162 Care for an hors d'oeuvre? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4163 It was a trade-off to keep my fins. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4164 Sometimes I do it for Uber, sometimes for Uber Eats. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4165 He thinks if he doesn't move I won't eat him! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4166 Yeah, it’s stylish as hats go, but it gives me such a headache. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4167 Speak of clueless. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4168 Can you help? I seem to have misplaced my lunch. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4169 Well, I was the one who suggested couple's therapy. I think we both feel stuck in our roles in this relationship. And the emotional distance is hard. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4170 Not to worry about eating those legs. They're Donald Trump's... and you know they're filled with hormones, gluten, saturated fat and plastic. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4171 I know, I know... stringy and get caught in your teeth... but nothing else was open. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4172 We could flip for him. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4173 They don't scare like they used to 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4174 Don't you hate it that our reputation of being man eaters has been killed by the National Geographic Channel. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4175 I really regret going vegan. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4176 I am skipping the appetizers. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4177 I'm afraid, if his phone has GPS they can track me down to wherever. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4178 It's Conceptual Art and helps with my dieting,I can only chew little pieces while it stands on my head 1.1798 0.04247 89 76 11 2
4179 He's a chiropractor. If he doesn't cure my spinal stenosis, he'll be VERY sorry. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4180 He says my driving makes him feel ‘über unsafe.’ 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4181 I'm not really sure what it is, but Kevin said it tastes like chicken. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4182 I still say you attract more of them with promises of tax cuts. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4183 I’m getting a headache. It’s your turn to cruise around with the decoy. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4184 I used to have a monkey on my back. Now, this! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4185 Feet are overrated. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4186 My psychiatrist says I should try being the nail and not the hammer. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4187 Have you seen my lunch? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4188 Uber. It's the bloody tips. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4189 ``Knock yourself out.'' 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4190 Don't order the back massage with this guy. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4191 He's seeking asylum from Greenwich, Conn. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4192 Somebody this stupid wouldn't taste that good. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4193 First an Ashiatsu massage, then dinner. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4194 It's Keto friendly. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4195 As a lawyer, he's great at spotting a new "client". 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4196 We have got to stop meeting like this! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4197 I know. I just can't help it. I'm co-dependent. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4198 I owe him since I broke his surfboard. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4199 He said his name is POTUS and I am supposed to take him to my leader... I figured if I ate him it might impact my intelligence. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4200 I don't care, I'm keeping him! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4201 I know it looks silly, but I'm just playing along until it's my lunch time. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4202 Why do you say I'm a slave to my appetites? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4203 Then they will wonder why you bit his legs off. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4204 You take him I just don't have the heart to do it 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4205 I finally got the monkey off my back and now this homosapien is causing me grief! 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4206 I thought I was tired of being seen as dangerous, but now I just have a headache. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4207 Yours or mine? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4208 I love backrubs more than a full stomach. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4209 I can't wait for that 'Jaws' sequel to come out. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4210 I’m working for the new water taxi service, SCUBER. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4211 We have sunk so low. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4212 He doesn't realize he lost his paddleboard. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4213 Anything to escape communism... 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4214 Is the coast clear? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4215 I'm not even making Minimum on this ride, but at least they let me bring home food. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4216 They sign up for free shark rides...and then we eat 'em. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4217 This is what happens Myrtle, this is what happens when Sharks go Vegetarian. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4218 I'm starting to get kinda fond of the little guy 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4219 Don’t even think about it! He belongs to me! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4220 Is it just passed hors d'oeuvres or are they serving dinner? 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4221 Do you think he will jump the shark? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4222 I had been doing so much better with my enabling and co-dependency issues. But I think maybe I need to start seeing my therapist again. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4223 You can have the rest. I always eat my favorite parts first. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4224 I’m saving the best part for later. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4225 Wow...this guy is clueless! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4226 You catch more flies with honey. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4227 I swear people think they can walk all over me. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4228 Honestly, I think I prefer the Swedish massage. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4229 He says you need to realize there's other fish in the sea. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4230 I just picked up some take out at Sands Point, want to come by for a bite. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4231 I really do not like this new GOP climate change adaption strategy" 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4232 I had the torso appetizer and I saved you the legs 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4233 Uber has promised aggressive growth potential; still no insurance. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4234 I was gonna eat him but he feeds me well. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4235 Sorry, that new beach's take-out menu is really limited. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4236 I have an itch I can't scratch. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4237 Okay. When I dive, you grab our lunch. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4238 I bet him that Dany would end up on the throne. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4239 It's Mark Cuban! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4240 Now I know how a humpback feels. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4241 We're both running out of cartilage 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4242 You wanna tell Darwin, or should I? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4243 I found him on E-Bay ! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4244 I'm offering a new service. It combines Uber's ride sharing with the Organized Crime's protection racket. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4245 I found him on a German message board. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4246 Do me a favor..bite his legs off 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4247 I promised my mom I wouldn't snack between meals. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4248 He's realigning my spine. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4249 What do you think? It’s for a British Royal Wedding. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4250 Takeout is so tedious. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4251 May I offer you an hors d'oeuvre sir? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4252 I'm taking the leftovers home. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4253 Keep his head above water.” But Bruce, what about our nature? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4254 Says he is the Attorney General. So this is definitely only a temporary professional courtesy. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4255 I turned vegan. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4256 He thinks he’s standing on a sand bar. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4257 maybe he will loose his balance ! 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4258 I only took this job because I’d be paid in bitcoin. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4259 I think it's Fonzie! Do you like leather? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4260 So much for being an apex predator! 1.1798 0.04810 89 78 7 4
4261 He said we would go viral. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4262 I got a loan from the wrong guy! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4263 It’s take-a-human-to-work day. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4264 I get paid by the minute so they can ‘do it for th gram’ 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4265 I'd eat him, but my back itches. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4266 Flip you for him! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4267 I'm done doing ride-alongs. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4268 Your Grub-hub is here. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4269 Don't give me that look, it's just my side hustle. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4270 Please don't eat him--every since my air bladders got pressurized, it's the only thing that keeps me from floating all the time. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4271 They told him not to walk on the reef, but he didn’t listen. Boy is he going to be sorry! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4272 Looks like stupid is on the menu again 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4273 It's part of a new pilot program from Lyft meant to address the future of climate change in coastal areas. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4274 It’s a new PR campaign 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4275 Yes, it’s humiliating, but the kids need braces. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4276 Being vegan is really hard, let me tell you. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4277 Did you order delivery? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4278 They’re still scared, maybe I shouldn’t have used Liam Neeson. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4279 If people knew how Moses really walked on water, they might even be more impressed. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4280 My Uber-Under shift makes me so hungry. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4281 Damien Hirst is now a performance artist 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4282 Tuna is a peer-to-shark transport network 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4283 This guy has the wrong idea of swim fins. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4284 Now? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4285 It's called fashion, look it up. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4286 I just have so much trouble saying no. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4287 I regret becoming an Uber driver... 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4288 Wanna get him off my back, please. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4289 This human is so dumb he thinks he's standing on a sandbar. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4290 An itch I juts can't reach. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4291 He says he’s fine— as long as HE keeps his head above water. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4292 I'm auditioning for the film 'Supershark'. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4293 Do the trick…get the treat. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4294 For our next lesson Fred, open your mouth while I do a quick fade left 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4295 Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" Cathy O'Neil 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4296 sorry, can't come for tea today something's wrong with my back 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4297 Apparently this is known as a "sweet-fish massage." 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4298 You take the top half, I’ll take the bottom bit. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4299 The remora has the weekend off. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4300 You can have the head, I want these dang feet 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4301 I'm helping him keep his head above water. For now. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4302 I know, but I really hate to disappoint him. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4303 He'd LIKE to walk on water, but I hate getting that close to the surface . . . 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4304 My therapist keeps telling me to think before I attack but if this guy doesn’t soon realize that I’m not a surfboard, he’s going to be lunch. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4305 Trying to get in at Sea World. They require some experience." 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4306 Get this guy off my back! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4307 Is this one from YOUR SCHOOL? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4308 It's Caribbean Tai Chi. We're working on cultivating stillness and improving balance. 1.1798 0.04537 89 77 9 3
4309 After you, Alphonse 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4310 It's acupressure therapy for a badly infected tooth! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4311 Did you call for Uber Shark Eats? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4312 This guy certainly has perfected the shark yoga pose! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4313 “This feels so much better than those remoras!” 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4314 I"m saving the last one for later. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4315 This remora that I picked up isn’t doing a dang thing for me! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4316 Republican lawyers do strange things on vacation. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4317 It's called Shark Lift. I'm supplementing my income 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4318 Please tell me it’s not an white man. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4319 I found this decoy on eBay--the bathing beauty model was sold out. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4320 No, we eat him after he finishes the massage. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4321 Have you been hanging around with the dolphins again? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4322 Don’t be salty, I told you I was poly. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4323 Is this your first order from UberEats? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4324 He’s telling everyone he’s a land shark! 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4325 I tried rocking and rolling but he just hangs ten 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4326 Do I look top heavy to you? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4327 They're calling it "Unter". 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4328 It's my Dating App. Females find it very attractive." 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4329 Clean Up the Ocean" tours aren't going as planned 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4330 I know it looks a little weird, but it’s great for working my Core. 1.1798 0.04676 89 79 6 4
4331 Sam I'm conflicted on the one hand I should eat him but he's saving me a Chiropractor bill and those bills are pure murder! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4332 That UBER thing is actually pretty cool! 1.1798 0.04394 89 78 8 3
4333 Sorry! They were just about to close, and only had a couple of scrawny drumsticks! 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4334 This one's heavy. Take a bite off for me? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4335 Ashiatsu is great. After the massage I'll eat him. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4336 He says he can’t reveal anything but I’ve got the part in the season finale. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4337 I like to take my snacks along with me 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4338 Just another surfer dude cruising the briny deep! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4339 I get no respect, Johnny. No respect. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4340 So I got a part in the Disney remake of Jaws. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4341 I know,...waste of money. What's a vertebrate to do with an ashiatsu massage? I may have to eat it. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4342 I get the wishbone! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4343 If I don't encourage and support him, he punches me right on the nose! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4344 I’m considering a bold statement about my participation in these new encounter pools. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4345 Watch this. It's my version of the "treat on the nose trick." 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4346 Working for SCUBER is one way to bring in a few extra bucks. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4347 I thought we said this was a standing meeting? 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4348 It’s cheaper than shiatsu. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4349 I’ve got this feeling someone’s riding me. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4350 I wanted a massage and you said no! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4351 Once I am ready to eat again Ill be able to get this weight off my back. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4352 His wife told him to go to a fish-stand. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4353 Sure he"d be tastey, but he gives the best massages this side of the Sea of Japan. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4354 Nothing like a relaxing massage before dinner. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4355 Carl and I agreed to share, so he took the top half. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4356 One nasty review cost me Superhost status. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4357 -"I will dip sudenly-you grab him as he falters." 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4358 One week of community service for speeding through the no-wake Zone, but this is silly. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4359 I've heard of having a monkey on your back, but this is something new to me. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4360 I don't think the seat of his soul can be in the under-water parts. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4361 It's a remora human. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4362 You know it’s a delicacy for humans to eat a leg of lamb. Do they know how much we enjoy eating a leg of a man ....? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4363 He’s keeping me under. I can’t breathe. 1.1798 0.04394 89 78 8 3
4364 CAm out get this nerd off me and not make it look Like we are killers. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4365 I got a second job working for Uber. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4366 This massage sucks 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4367 I thought I'd give take-away a shot. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4368 I'm digesting it's torso, but I saved leftovers for you. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4369 Don’t eat anything he gives you that’s attached to a hook! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4370 On the plus side, once my massage is finished we'll have a snack to share. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4371 My therapist says I should count to ten. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4372 He does the best shiatsu around. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4373 I charge by the depth and wave length. The company that sets it up is Baracuber. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4374 You take him I ate his surf board. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4375 It's called a hood ornament. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4376 I drew the line at waxing and sanding my spine. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4377 We're having take-out tonight. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4378 He doesn't know he's not close to shore. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4379 Getting ready for our five o'clock performance... 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4380 Two more weeks and he goes back to his parents 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4381 He tells me his bigger friend is coming to rescue him. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4382 Doesn't he realize the expression is jump the shark, not jump ON the shark? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4383 Well, at least I'm not alone in this fight. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4384 It seems that "jumping the shark" has actually become cool. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4385 You can call it a comedown, but I felt it was time to evolve with the marketplace. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4386 Come on Frank, you gotta stop letting people walk all over you.” 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4387 You want eat him or shall I? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4388 Other than deep tissue, she ate sue is my favorite massage. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4389 Another Fonz, another miss... 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4390 This is my massage therapist. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4391 Ugh, why did I start going on a Vegan diet yesterday? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4392 Fifty bucks this guy's caption for Instagram will be 'Current events' 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4393 This ride share gig is ok, but lunch can be problematic 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4394 He got bored of kite surfing 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4395 It's something called Thai massage. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4396 First the ashiatsu; then the meal. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4397 Yuck! Hic nails need trimming. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4398 A few extra bucks driving for Uber? Totally not worth it! 1.1798 0.04247 89 76 11 2
4399 My cartilagest recommended him. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4400 Yes,Uber's been underwater since the IPO. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4401 Hey Georgie: Am I supposed to eat this person? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4402 "My mother tried to explain 'hubris' to me. The only thing I understood was that you can't eat it." 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4403 I just figured we were going the same way... 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4404 Make sure your new emotional support animal can breathe underwater. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4405 Never bet someone who bets a shark! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4406 He has incredible balance. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4407 You want him, I just ate lunch. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4408 I thought I was applying for a meal delivery company not a ride hailing company. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4409 I wonder who will get the better half? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4410 Do I have something on my head? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4411 He thinks he's a remora. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4412 Ever feel topped off with riffraff? 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4413 Go ahead! It's a chewable life vest. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4414 dibs on the thighs" 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4415 I'm letting him think I am one of those paddle boards until I get hungry. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4416 What can I say? Yeah, I joined the gig economy ... 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4417 But he gives a great back massage... 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
4418 I promised to give up red meat not withstanding. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4419 Yeah...but he’s better than a monkey. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4420 He looked so cute trying to swim that I just couldn't do it, and now we have a relationship. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4421 It's called Uber, and I give them rides in my spare time." 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4422 If I don't have background music, I lose my appetite. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4423 Have you seen my saddle? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4424 What does "I've got your back" mean? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4425 I don't know what happened. The New Yorker used to be brilliant.” “No, it didn't. It was only pretentious. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4426 Don't worry you said, he'll jump the shark you said... 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4427 Don't prejudge. When he curls his toes, its the best backrub ever. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4428 Lousy jumper. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4429 I learned this trick from watching Fido balance a bone on his nose. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4430 I bet I could balance two on my back before dinner. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4431 It's part of my Anger Management therapy. 1.1798 0.03413 89 76 12 1
4432 My brother ate his best friend, so I thought I owed it to him. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4433 Now, for today's a la carte item. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4434 'I remember when carryout orders were neatly wrapped!' 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4435 I'm fishing for a dinner date. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4436 Usually they step on the scales before going to the beach. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4437 I'm saving the other half for a snack. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4438 It's called a foot massage. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4439 I brought a snack for later. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4440 I have this tumor that’s been growing on my back. I need to have it removed. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4441 Get this guy off my back, he’s been on me all day! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4442 After the foot massage, I'm going for the deep tissue. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4443 Do I look like a sandbar?! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4444 I developed a cordial relationship with the life guard, now I can't get him off my back. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4445 I was promised free fish for a year to try the new "tag & release" program, but I have been the victim of "bait & switch". 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4446 I'll do a somersault and we'll see who catches him first. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4447 This 'tasty morsel', as you put it, and I are the reigning world champion surfer team, and we've ridden the largest waves on the planet, including a tsunami or two. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4448 Yeah ... he’s the Good Humor dude ... popsicle legs. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4449 Hey stop looking at him like that! We're vegan now remember? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4450 We sure picked a bad week to go vegetarian... 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4451 The family wanted take out tonight. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
4452 It’s called a “decoy”, and I’m working this end of the beach, so, scram! ‘\ 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4453 I'm on a strict diet but there's a hunger weighing me down. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4454 Ugh... and they wonder why we eat them. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
4455 He's a high maintenance periscope. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4456 There's nothing creepier than to have your food walk on your back. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4457 Wait till you see how we feed the multitudes. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4458 I usually prefer Swedish but this shiatsu isn't bad. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4459 The treats were just too tempting. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4460 you seen the top half of this guy? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4461 If they don’t give me five stars, I eat them. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4462 I'm just not hungry 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
4463 See, I wasn’t bull-snarking you! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4464 You gotta help me get this monkey off my back! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4465 I’m going to eat him after he sends this text. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
4466 My agent controls book rights for Aesop's fables so he packaged us in. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
4467 Grubhub delivery! 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
4468 I'm taking weight lifting classes 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
4469 I'd rather have a monkey on my back. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4470 He said his name was Fonzarelli. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4471 Show your fin again; I want a real deep-tissue massage. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4472 We need to hire an Reputation Management Agency, we’re getting no respect. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4473 I don't think this is what JFK meant when he said, "A rising tide lifts all boats." 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4474 You'd think by now they'd be afraid of our 'Jaws.' 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
4475 The future of transportation is ridesharking. 1.1744 0.03769 86 75 9 2
4476 The things you do for Instagram... 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4477 They were all out of jumbo. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4478 I’m saving him for a snack. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4479 Yes, I decided to go to work for "Shark-Uber." 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4480 Ashi-ark-su 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4481 Can I eat him NOW? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4482 That’s right, I invited you to come meet my chum. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4483 Now I'm sorry I signed with Uber 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4484 I'm just heading out for a quick bite. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4485 He’s practicing for the Sea World Follies. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4486 He thinks I'm his surfboard. I'm just waiting to poop and get my appetite back. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4487 It's my Carmen Miranda hat." 1.1744 0.04279 86 74 10 2
4488 Dish-on-Fish, the food delivery service for non-discriminating marine clients, who just want fast food now. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
4489 I don't have the heart to tell him that he is going to be dinner. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4490 It's a new form of water aerobics. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4491 Hey, Gaga wore the meat dress. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4492 Yeah, I signed up with Ocean Uber. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4493 His TV series jumped the shark. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4494 He makes a great lure. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4495 Wait! I can still feel some neck tension. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4496 Kowabunga, dude! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4497 Uber is everywhere. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4498 I heard someone yell out, "Jesus!" 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4499 ‘Sup 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4500 It’s like Uber, but for the coastal water regions. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4501 Dinner will be soon. He asked to say goodbye to his wife. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4502 Yeah, been driving for seaUBER for a month now. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4503 He's an environmentalist with an AR-15. He volunteered to protect my fin. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4504 Doesn’t he know I’m a lemon? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4505 Go ahead and munch. They taste like chicken! 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4506 He said his name was Finn. How could I say “No”? 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4507 Its the latest in camouflage technology, its supposed to allow you to get right up close to those unsuspecting swimmers ! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4508 One of the dolfins didn't show up. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4509 They’re a lot more confident since “Finding Nemo” 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4510 He calls it Veganism. I call it a pain in the neck. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4511 when you say goodbye and then both end up walking in the same direction 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4512 Bruce had John Williams’ ostinato of bass notes to help clear a beach. I have a shirtless Steve Mnuchin. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4513 I thought swimming for Uber would be a good idea but these humans keep using my skin to scrape the callouses off their feet! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4514 Yeah, I decided to start working for Uber’s water taxi service. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4515 So, how long do we have to play sand bar to a bunch of edible tourists? 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4516 Swimming isn't paying the bills, so I started ride-sharing. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4517 Save for your retirement Carl - otherwise you end up doing this for tips. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4518 So this guy from Uber says,“You gotta be moving all the time, why not make a few bucks at it?” 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4519 Don't complain about the delivery charge. I had to swim to Germany for your Hamburger. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
4520 Change our image for the tourist season, you said. And this is what you come up with! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4521 I'm saving it for a snack later! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4522 I'm just not feeling respected 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4523 Now I understand what living at Sea World feels like 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4524 Ever Since I signed on with Uber, I've gotten all these strange requests...Do you have any idea where "Times Square" is? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4525 Let's do lunch—the treat's on me! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4526 It's sort of like Custers stand. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4527 Uber in Florida in 2050. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4528 I'm really sorry but he makes my tail wiggle. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4529 I'm only doing it until he gets his "shore legs" back. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4530 He needs to learn how to be a five-star passenger. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4531 Are you here to replace me? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4532 Do you remember, when I told you my new cleaner fish is a bit different? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4533 Wait! Look at the surprise on his face. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4534 This overcrowding has got to stop. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4535 Terry swears they’re more tender when they don’t see it coming. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4536 The wife's busy. She told me to pick up delivery on the way home. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4537 Hey man, watch this trick. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4538 It’s the new “functional fitness” trend 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4539 Little help? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4540 The lengths I have to go to get a good Ashiatsu massage! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4541 This new ride-sharing job really helps put food on my table. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4542 300 hours of court ordered community service. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4543 He thinks I'm a rock. A rock! Judy, do I look like a rock to you? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4544 Being in the gig economy sure beats chasing fish all day. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4545 Since becoming a vegetarian I've been making a living as a surf board. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4546 Flip a doubloon? 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4547 You’ve got to be careful. They often mistake us for surfboards. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4548 Sure, it's just like those other ride-share services, but in addition to earning a few extra bucks I can eat the day's last fare. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4549 I'm bringing dinner to my in-laws'. I figured I'd bring fresh food. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4550 It is important that you accept what the deer and the antelope played at on the range! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4551 This new device gives me outside 360 degree vision. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4552 I't's called Human yoga. We used to just eat them. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4553 I’m too committed at this point so, no, I won’t go to dinner with you. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4554 This generation really needs a Jaws remake. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4555 ...And to think he took me for a spineless jellyfish. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4556 There’s no medical, but I get to work my own hours. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4557 Don't look at me like that, it was a good gig for Shamu! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4558 Listen, it's my job to follow orders and the mermaid princess said she wanted human legs. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4559 Did you see the top half anywhere? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4560 I’m elevating my cuisine. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4561 Yeah I guess I'll miss him after I eat him. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4562 Is this enough for dinner? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4563 This ride-sharing gig I signed up for isn’t paying the dividends I expected. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4564 You see, dogs aren't the only ones that can do this trick. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4565 I prefer breast meet. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4566 I've been under a lot of pressure lately. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4567 I'm working part time for Uber Eats 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4568 I sim for uber a few 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4569 Where is John Williams when you need him? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4570 Shark obedience school 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4571 I don't like this "gig economy" thing as much as I thought I would. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4572 Lyft was looking for divers and I needed the chub change 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4573 Don't you think I would take the legs if I knew how to walk? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4574 I'm waiting patiently for him to jump the shark. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4575 What, the legal intern? Just getting his feet wet. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4576 I’m gonna need a bigger stomach. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4577 I found the legs to unappetizing, but know you'll eat anything! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4578 Hi, I’m your Uber 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4579 I know it looks stupid, but working for Under helps me put more fish on the table. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4580 I thought I'd try a decoy. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4581 I should have listened when you told me not to sign up for Uber. 1.1687 0.04309 83 72 9 2
4582 Yeah, but he gives me five stars. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4583 I like the whole massage aspect of it, but I'm getting hungry. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4584 These back massages don't last long enough! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4585 I'll never do this Salomon Brothers internship thing again. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4586 The upper portion was yummy 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4587 Bothersome ? Not at all. But if you want him,he is all yours. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4588 I feel like hrs just treading water. Should I just cut him off? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4589 Dinner AND toothpicks. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4590 I’m moonlighting as a water UBER. Ocean times are tougher than ever. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4591 If Shorty appears kiss him. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4592 And this dude calls himself a surfer. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4593 Got any ideas how I break it to him that I'm not a sand bar? -- D. Parker, San Francisco 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4594 What can I say? it’s a living. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4595 Fetish? I thought you said feetfish. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4596 It's been one of those weeks. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4597 He thinks it’s a cheap ride, but wait until he finds out about surge pricing. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4598 Human yoga. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4599 As fishing lures go... this is the best bobber yet. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4600 He's my snack for later. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4601 What would Beavis and Butthead do? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4602 I'm not convinced about becoming the new luxury inflatable pool toy. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4603 They don't do delivery in my zip code 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4604 But mom, I like to play with my food! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4605 Oh, he is so gonna get the shark and awe treatment. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4606 Lunch delivery for Mr. Fin. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4607 It could be worse, I could be soup! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4608 Heads up, this guy is a bit peeved by the transfer delay. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4609 I'm getting tired of this 'professional courtesy' thing - he's my next meal. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4610 Now I know how it feels to be taken for a ride. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4611 He says its a symbiotic relationship, but I'd have to dive to test that. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4612 You know ice cream sales are up this month 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4613 He's looking for a pair of fins. Any interest? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4614 The invitation said “potluck.” 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4615 Are you going to tell him or shall I? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4616 My back is itchy 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4617 ‘It just goes with being a dogfish.’ 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4618 What? It's surge pricing. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4619 You’re welcome to the top half first. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4620 It’s new business- a ride sharing. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4621 It's the latest trend in extreme sports. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4622 Half a loaf is better than none. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4623 This poor loser thinks he’s on dry land. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4624 I prefer to carry my lunch. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4625 Feetish massage. Yummy. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4626 He's been taking a selfie for the past twenty minutes, can't really move until he does. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4627 Their regular Uber drivers are on strike. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4628 I thought during the closed season I could make some money from this Uber thing, at least. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4629 This helps me get a LOT closer. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4630 He’s light. The pay is good. He might have a friend for you. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4631 They are not a very intelligent species. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4632 I bit off his toes last summer and my conscience got the best of me. Now I ride him around the bay so he can impress his friends." 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4633 Stop playing with your food 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4634 He thinks I’m a rabbit 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4635 I can’t get this guy off my back! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4636 You’d think we would get at least a third of the money. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4637 Shark or sink. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4638 Looks like daddy shark do do do do is the winner. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4639 Damn millennials and the ‘gram 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4640 Once he leaves me five stars you can attack. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4641 Death is not the end. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4642 I'm saving him for tea time. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4643 So,now will you go out with me? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4644 It's easier if you make them feel warm and comfortable first. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4645 Call me Ceremony and I'll bite your face off. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4646 I'm working the gig economy as ab Uber shark 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4647 Look it’s a free massage, don’t judge! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4648 I prefer leg of lamb. You want his? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4649 I owe him a paddle board 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4650 No thanks, I brought my own lunch 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4651 He doesn't weigh that much. It's the toenails. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4652 We've thrown in a free second leg with your takeout order 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4653 I only do Uber on the weekends. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4654 He's a vegan. He promised to lure meat eaters out here if I did;t eat him. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4655 Maybe, maybe not not . . . I really prefer the taste of board shorts. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4656 He plays a great "Jaws" theme on his tuba. 1.1687 0.04638 83 73 7 3
4657 Enough is enough! If you don't eat him, I will! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4658 No there isn’t. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4659 Grubhub or Doordash?? 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4660 Overheard at the sandbar; “Cheers, this one’s on me!” 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4661 Something's fishy here! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4662 OK, It ain't the reef but here you get all the fish you can eat and water temperature control. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4663 Sure, I get hungry. But this is the only relief I can get for my chronic backache. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4664 I'll flip him. Heads you get um, tails he's mine. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4665 He promised me something bigger. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4666 We could have him for lunch, but then Uber might fire me. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4667 I'd ask you to spell me for awhile, but I'm afraid we're *all* sort of supporting them. 1.1687 0.04476 83 72 9 2
4668 You'd be grumpy too if your food was playing with you. 1.1687 0.04793 83 73 7 3
4669 I like a little ashiatsu before lunch. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4670 If you stay perfectly still, he can't see you and will hopefully swim away. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4671 Like shooting fish in a barrel 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4672 He thinks he's standing on the bottom. How do I break the news? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4673 Do you hear music? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4674 He scratches my back and then I eat him. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4675 Long story short: he pulled a thorn out of my paw. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4676 Delivery? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4677 I'll have the rest of him for lunch 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4678 It's just not the same when we do it. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4679 Here is your UberEats delivery sir. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4680 75/25 or I’m outta here! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4681 I’d bite him, but I’m trying to be my best self. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4682 Lifeguard interns are much too brazen these days. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4683 It's right behind me, right now, isn't it? 1.1687 0.04476 83 72 9 2
4684 The line for poke bowl was too long so I finessed us some sashimi instead. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4685 Yes, he's THAT Laird Hamilton. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4686 I would bite him, but I’m not a fan of stereotypes. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4687 Trump's white guys can't jump! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4688 What do you mean there is not enough meat on him?" " You said you wanted to start a low fat diet. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4689 There's a sous-vide frenzy right now 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4690 HEAVY meal ahead!" 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4691 He's my first Uber passenger. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4692 I got a 50% vig for this one 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4693 My girlfriend wanted take-out. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4694 And they say Shark Fin hunting is illegal. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4695 Can you believe it? This guy keeps saying global warming is not a thing... this used to be his living room! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4696 If you keep your fin underwater, I'll split him with you. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4697 The pay is lousy, but it’s the only summer job I could get. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4698 Getting aboard the gig economy 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4699 He has a 5 star rating but one more shark joke and he’s fuel . 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4700 He doesn’t know about jumping the shark. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4701 I started with goat yoga then moved on to surfer yoga. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4702 I’ll go ahead and have the legs, the breast is always dry. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4703 Uber's not all it's cracked up to be. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4704 I’m just happy that this idiot doesn’t know what happened the last person who thought I was a dolphin 1.1687 0.03563 83 70 13 0
4705 Stay low! They want our eggs, too. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4706 Without the dangling, it’s just no fun. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4707 Looks like we're gonna need a bigger ocean 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4708 Remember when Jaws was scarier than Blackfish? 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4709 I broke his surfboard. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4710 Life is moving by pretty fast at my age, I’m just trying to slow down, not stop of course, and smell the roses 1.1687 0.04135 83 71 11 1
4711 It's an alpha male test. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4712 You just wait, its a little trick i learned from them 1.1687 0.05639 83 74 4 5
4713 I’m saving him for tomorrow 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4714 Wait till he posts a few selfies. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4715 We bonded at Seaworld. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4716 I lost a bet. For now. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4717 He's a verified rider and I could use the money. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4718 You wanna go get something to eat 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4719 Shark yoga. Beats chasing seals for a living. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4720 I now identify as an emotional support Selachimorpha. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4721 It's something like Uber for swimmers. Pretty good pay, but they fire you if you eat a passenger. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4722 No, this is our new food delivery platform that makes getting great food as easy as getting a ride. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
4723 Don't eat him. I want to keep my five-star rating. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4724 I've picked up some seasonal work offering cruise ship excursions. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4725 I know this bites, but with rising sea levels, we have to learn to coexist. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4726 It’s heavy, but it’s a find. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4727 Damn...I wish! But we can’t. Remember, we’re doing keto this week! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4728 Thinking that he is still aboard his Stand-up paddleboard? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4729 He says: "When the water recedes they will see I have trunks on, but before that I need to swim with the sharks." Also says I will get 10% commission, do you know what food that is? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4730 Don't you just hate it, when people walk all over you 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4731 The best he can do is 24.99% APR. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4732 Time to mingle and get a bite to eat. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4733 Of course this will work!” 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4734 He says he's a Finn. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4735 There are advantages to being a sand shark. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4736 No I will not shake!! I might get ticket for contamination!! 1.1667 0.04427 84 73 9 2
4737 Hey Tony...is there something on my back! 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4738 Say Finny 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4739 Seen anything to eat? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4740 Yes sir, would you like tonight’s hor doevre? We call it “lower half.” 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4741 How do you do, fellow shark? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4742 I’ m just working for SCUBER until I get my degree 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4743 I’m not sure this human yoga is worth the effort. 1.1667 0.04262 84 73 9 2
4744 I doubt he's seen Jaws. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4745 It sucks being a pet shark. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4746 Sorry, a couple of heels held me up. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4747 He's paying me in exposure. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4748 This Uber gig is not good for my back. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4749 Sharfing 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4750 Too soon... 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4751 I'm Shark Weak 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4752 He is really weighing in on our conversation. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4753 They're easy to capture with an adjustable-rate mortgage. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4754 Uber Sharking needs to implement a better dress code 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4755 I got the massage and lunch combo. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4756 You know, one day at a time. 1.1667 0.05575 84 75 4 5
4757 Can I get a doggie shark baggie for the bottom half? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4758 How about a casual lunch? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4759 I wish he would replace his surfboard so I could taste a new one. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4760 I'm trying to make up for all the bad rap we've gotten since that horrid movie with Richard Dreyfus, Roy Scheider and Robert Shaw. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4761 He is directing Shark Week this year. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4762 Jumped the shark? That's a thing. Jumped on the shark, not so much. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4763 It's like Uber but in the ocean. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4764 He's taking testing the waters to a new level. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4765 AirBnB. Covers half my mortgage. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4766 Shark Week keeps me downtrodden. I don't get it. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4767 I took a bite out of his surfboard. It was expensive. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4768 Missed. Got the surf board Have you seen him? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4769 I told you the stand-up comics are going to the sharks. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4770 I'd rather have plastic 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4771 It doesn't pay much, but every little bit helps. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4772 I wish he would jump this shark now. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4773 He will give me food if I take him across the Pacific 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4774 My experiential concept will be a first on Shark Tank 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4775 He promised I could be in his movie. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4776 To make matters worse, his feet smell! 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4777 I am working on my lifesaving badge. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4778 This obviously isn't how I thought things would work out. 1.1667 0.03724 84 71 13 0
4779 You up for a chicken fight? Winner eats all. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4780 I’m allergic to sunblock. Bon appetit. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4781 He tips well" 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4782 You can have him, I just had lunch. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4783 Honestly, it's not what it looks like. Patricia Lewis, Alliston, ON 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4784 I said Eat Him , not Eastham. Besides, he's from Truro! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4785 Does he understand? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4786 It's from the new carry-out place on Washburn. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4787 you mean he isnt a remora? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4788 Do you want the top or bottom half this time? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4789 I know it's an aquarium, but I'm hungry. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4790 My fitness coach says I need to get food off my mind. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4791 I’m getting tired of these lawyers. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4792 How about a game of ping pong? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4793 Sea World scout. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4794 I am a breast man. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4795 Edible? You bet. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4796 Yeah, say what you want about the company, but I’m making good money with Uber Pool. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4797 I can't seem to get this monkey off my back 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4798 It's a quick hundo, so they can tell their friends they know how to water ski. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4799 Beach Informant... 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4800 I call dibs. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4801 I think at this point it's too late to ask their name. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4802 You just bribe the skinny ones to lookout for the chubby ones. He taps his foot twice when 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4803 please leave him for me 1.1667 0.03724 84 74 8 2
4804 Is that you dear? Thanks for the foot massage. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4805 Really? You think the bowler worked better? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4806 This guy thinks he called an Uber. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4807 Can you give me a lift? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4808 Are you sure this is an outstanding meal? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4809 I really want to eat him! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4810 Wait knuckling it ‘til my gig’s done at Sea World 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4811 I can't eat him, he's going to vote for Trump 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4812 It's a new service called Lyft Shark. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4813 I picked him up off Cape Town. He thinks i'm taking him to New York. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4814 We only charge for a one-way ride 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4815 It's called a foot massage, Phil. Like you've never had one. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4816 If 'Jaws' could make it big, why can't 'Upper Back?' 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4817 SMS: Shark Massage Service 1.1667 0.04262 84 73 9 2
4818 Somehow, I'm getting the loveliest back message. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4819 Well, they're all the rage in Surf City, and best of all, if I get hungry, they're edible. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4820 Its a new sensor I am trying out 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4821 He still thinks he's in the kitty pool. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4822 He thinks he's on solid ground, but in a minute he won't have a leg to stand on. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4823 They call it 'shurfing.' 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4824 Want to try a leg of lamb? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4825 I know, but it beats being an Uber driver. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4826 Ugh, millenials! Am I right? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4827 That aquarium gig is starting to look a helluva lot better 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4828 No thank you, I'm full. I'm saving this half for dinner. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4829 It's called foot massage. You really oughta try it. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4830 I know. He's dum, but I'm sort of attached to him 1.1667 0.03316 84 73 10 1
4831 It works great! They never see you coming. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4832 I hope he's a good tipper. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4833 On the upside, things are looking pretty well 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4834 I'm under foot. Can you give me a hand? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4835 All I hear is blah blah blah.... 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4836 It's a new Uber service. Helps pay the bills. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4837 When I was told that I was going surfing, this was not what I had in mind. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4838 We made a deal--I let him scratch my head, then I get rid of his bunions." 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4839 The poor guy couldn't get an Uber. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4840 The koi say it’s big where they’re from, but frankly I’m just not feeling it. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4841 It's part of the re-branding we started after Jaws. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4842 My second cousin was a dolphin. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4843 Jaws” therap 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4844 He thinks he's on a park ride. My concept, lunch to go. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4845 I’m down to bone on bone . 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4846 Close your eyes and make a wish. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4847 Surfing is so last year dude. Say hello to sharfing. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4848 My regular masseuse was booked. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4849 I invited him out for dinner. He said he has to fix his hair. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4850 These mellinial parasites just won't move out. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4851 This th-thing is c-c-cold. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4852 It's the gig economy, stupid! 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4853 I told you, it's called the gig economy. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4854 He’ll be fine. I prefer Manhattan Chowder over New England. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4855 With rare exceptions,I skip the fiction. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4856 Beep beep, George. It's peak hours. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4857 He has me on retainer. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4858 I don't wanna let him down! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4859 I already ate the torso. Do you want a leg or not? 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4860 But it feels so good. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4861 "Without the music, I get no respect" 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4862 Humans are friends, not food. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4863 I guess it takes a couple of seasons to work up to jumping. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4864 Like my new hood ornament? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4865 Notes of gym sock infuse the robust bouquet of toe jam. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4866 We don't get paid unless he wins. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4867 You can't see it but he's top heavy. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4868 I hate it when I order the Prime Rib and I end up with Leg of Human. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4869 Piscine William Tell 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4870 Remind me again, why did we go vegan? 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4871 With the diminishing food supply, I took a gig with Uber. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4872 But the water is warmer over here. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4873 What do you think, Marge? I picked it at Jaws's Secret; they had a special on head wear." 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
4874 Doctor Fish, Nurse Shark, a pedicure's a pedicure. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4875 I've maimed so many l've lost interest. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4876 I need to get a bigger back. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4877 Can you foot this one? My patience has run fin. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4878 My chiropractor recommend this 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4879 Can pilot fish hold 'Free Dolphin Ride' signs? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4880 Why do you think they call us Sand Sharks? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4881 Right or left? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4882 You can take the legs. Save the breast for me. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4883 No,you cant keep him 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4884 and I thought I was the predator here. 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
4885 You think I should let him know? 1.1605 0.03911 81 70 10 1
4886 «I think he got away...» 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4887 It scares the locals less than the fin. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4888 I thought a marinade might be nice. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4889 I got 50% equity. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4890 I thought the Lakers would make the playoffs. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4891 What say I pull down, you bite, and we split the difference? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4892 I should have listened when Grandpa told me, 'Go deep young shark.' 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4893 Do you believe in global warming now?" - R shar 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4894 Sure it's annoying, but I'll take it over dealing with my kids. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4895 So Nicole, do you want to share some lunch ? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4896 He's having a word with my upstairs neighbor. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4897 So he insisted I'm the Lyft he ordered. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4898 I know, but he needed help keeping his head above water. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4899 Would you like a leg or a thigh? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4900 The portion was so big that I could only eat half, so I decided to get the rest to go... 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4901 If he sings "Baby Shark" one more time... I'm going to bite his Great White legs off. 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
4902 I don't know if I can keep doing this until lunch time. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4903 The wife told me to bring something home. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4904 Hey, we're friends. He's just a chum 1.1605 0.03495 81 71 9 1
4905 Daddy Shark, what should I do-do-do-do-do-do? 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4906 Just duck under and come with me. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4907 He paid me a fin to do this. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4908 I get why no one visits Greenwich 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4909 Yes, I would...but I’m also ticklish.. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4910 Yeah, I'm hungry, but this is just too easy. 1.1605 0.03911 81 70 10 1
4911 Hunting in China it's way too easy... 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4912 Is this what they mean about being a Good Samaritan? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4913 He gives a pretty good back massage. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4914 You can have the other half. I’m stuffed! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4915 I’m not that hungry right now so I just got carry-out. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4916 Any Good Bites Today ? I have lunch ready see you around. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4917 Eh, I already ate his sister, so I'll leave this one alone. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4918 Don't give me that "gone soft" look. He's just a replica." 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4919 Who the hell is William Tell? 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4920 Then he said, “jump the shark!” 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4921 That G***** genie. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4922 I don’t know! He said he voted for HRC and I guess I felt sorry for him. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4923 This is just plain HUMILIATING! 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4924 I really don't care for the dark meat 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4925 Open wide and I will flip him! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4926 Think of it as an upgraded remora. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4927 It's a stupid human trick. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4928 Can you scratch my back? It feels itchy. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4929 The monkey on my back evolved. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4930 Should we count this as an uber or an under ride? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4931 Wanna split it with me? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4932 That’s what happens when you get too friendly with them 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4933 The only parascope I could find, on short notice. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4934 I'm waiting for him to hang ten. I love toe jam. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4935 Sea Segway. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4936 You're the one with the foot fetish, bitch! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4937 Meet Kevin, my new investment banker! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4938 Let's wait for someone to come along to save this one! He feels too light to be a tasty treat! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4939 His Mar A Laga reservation includes professional courtesy. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4940 Maybe we have been shouldering humans for too long 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4941 Did you remember the blood sausage for the appetizer course? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4942 So now maybe people will stop saying he jumped the shark. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4943 He’s my service human. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4944 The Republicans were right - this dude married me as soon as that Kennedy opinion was issued. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4945 Look away! 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4946 We're having a potluck over at the reef. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4947 Forgot to pack lunch? No problem, I'll share. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4948 I'm honest. I don't betray. I want to be helpful. I can't eat him. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4949 I told you I would bring dinner. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4950 Welcome to the Anthropocene. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4951 All odds aside, this guy is pushing it. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4952 So I said,"How am I supposed to get my take-out home without a plastic bag?!" 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4953 Don’t move, looks like you’ve picked up a parasite 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4954 I was gonna eat em', but look at those toenails! Yeesh! 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4955 I saved you half 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4956 I make my own hours, but they pay me a lot less than anticipated. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4957 When do you want dinner? 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4958 I've picked up an Uber Eats side gig. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4959 You're complaining to me about a load on your shoulders? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4960 Tourists are so dumb...I even told him I was not the cuddly kind. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4961 It's the latest in gnarly rides for boarders." 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4962 He’s looking for investors 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4963 Pity I'm not hungry. Are you, buddy? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4964 Don’t move. It’s Damien Hirst. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4965 If you are interested, the top 1/2 is a short swim behind me. 1.1605 0.05403 81 72 5 4
4966 I know, but I have a bad toothache. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4967 Yes, they have takeaway. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4968 hey are you holding? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4969 His toenails need trimming. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4970 ...it’s a reliable gig, two days a week. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4971 I picked the wrong week to go vegan. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4972 I'm picking up some extra cash being an Uber-swimmer. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4973 They must have over-estimated the Mariana Trench 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4974 I’ll eat him after he straightens out my back. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4975 Thing is, he knows if I stop I'll die. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4976 Working for Scuber in early retirement. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4977 It’s called Uber. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4978 I'm introducing a new ride sharing service called "Unter." 1.1538 0.05498 78 70 4 4
4979 I lost my appetite at Sea World. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4980 Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo... 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4981 If he gets away, he'll need arch supports. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4982 It's a new business venture. Uber,but for surfers. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4983 Ever since I stopped eating them, I get the best massages. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4984 Delivery in 30 minutes or it's free! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4985 Only if I get the top half. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4986 We just cut off the legs and make a soup out of it. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4987 I’m saving that for snack. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4988 My doctor said I had high cholesterol, so I’ve had to go vegan. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4989 This is the closest he gets to owning sharkskin boots. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4990 What did you want me to do, they ran out of doggy bags?! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4991 Because they were out of top hats. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4992 It's camp 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4993 Can I get a doggie bag for this? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4994 I’m a wildly successful UberEats driver. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4995 It's being widely reported as another great white supremacist sighting. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4996 The Return of Jaws: "Man, Just get off my head! I'm not a surfboard!" 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4997 It helps him feel taller. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4998 Ya, it’s a pain but it pays the rent. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4999 I thought we could use this part like a wish bone. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5000 It's called 'human yoga'." 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5001 I've had a heavy day, I'm not in the mood! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5002 This was not my dream. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5003 If can’t eat’m enjoy’m 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5004 I like his spunk. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5005 After I passed the Uber background check, I figured why not? He better give me 5 stars. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5006 Times like these make it almost impossible to keep up my juice cleanse. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5007 So this dude says he’s a stand up guy but that he really needs a paddle. 1.1538 0.05023 78 71 3 4
5008 Shall we tell him first, or just...? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5009 I just wish he'd get off my back. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5010 We each pull on a leg, and the one with the larger piece makes a wish. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5011 I reached my quota for attacking humans this summer. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5012 The head and torso are the most delicious parts of a human. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5013 I’d hate to spoil it for him, but this guy’s looking for Westeros on his GPS. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5014 Let’s eat him Dave, he’s not gonna stand around on me forever,plus my back hurts. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5015 I feel like the tortoise in B. C. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5016 I had to take a second job with Lyft to afford the rent. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5017 Careful, he's dangerous. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5018 How can they be scared of our teeth with toenails like this? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5019 He's my chiropractor, back off. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5020 Ugh I know but we now live in a gig economy. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5021 This guy thinks he's standing on a surfboard. Would you please disabuse him of the notion? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5022 Doesn’t he know what we represent! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5023 You win heads, I win tails. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5024 I know it's awkward, but only my weekly ashiatsu gets the kinks out. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5025 Have you seen my latest move? Watch this soar to this surface. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5026 Don't you dare. He's scratching where it itches. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5027 Hey, I just heard that the new California State University Long Beach mascot is THE shark! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5028 Rock, Paper, Scissors for who gets him! 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5029 I thought jumping the shark would hurt, but y'know it's more like a massage. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5030 I can’t, I’m full. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5031 Don't attack, he's promised a Jaws 5 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5032 First ectoparasites, then remoras, now this. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5033 It's my emergency survival kit. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5034 I thought this day would never end, anyway this guy needs to be at Martha’s Vineyard by 4pm. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5035 He won this 'experience' at a charity auction. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5036 It’s the new refined frenzy: Shiatsu plus dessert. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5037 Want to play hopscotch? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5038 I told you that you were shallow. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5039 I ordered wings! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5040 They have it bad enough up there already 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5041 My Physical Therapist says I need this 30 minutes a day for the next 3 weeks. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5042 I volunteer with The Ocean Conservancy. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5043 I really miss my Remora Fish. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5044 Looks like he still won't let Nancy cut his toenails. It's weird that she wants to but she's so hot I'd bone her in a second with my weird two-pronged shark dick. I'ma calling her right now for some surfer-and-turfer or some shit. She's gonna love it 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5045 I don't like the fishy odor, you can have him. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5046 Tails! I won! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5047 Sure, but it'll make the eventual betrayal WAY more shareable. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5048 His Toe nails are Gross! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5049 I assume they've got everything sorted out above the waves, because they sure don't make much sense below them. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5050 It's not a bad gig. I take him fishing, then take home 40% of what he catches. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5051 Do you like my hat? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5052 The fin doesn't scare them anymore--they think their kids are playing--so I decided to wear half a body. It works every time. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5053 Some people will do anything to walk on water 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5054 This is different? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5055 Uber Swim. Just doin’ it a bit on weekends. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5056 He's my lawyer. We can't eat our own kind. 1.1538 0.05498 78 70 4 4
5057 I ate his surfboard, and he said this was only fair. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5058 He's pretty scrawny but I think he'll go well with tilapia. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5059 Ready to do the aquatic surprise routine on the count of three? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5060 Just waiting for him to coax in the Mrs. That's when they learn there's no free ride. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5061 It's some kind of selfie thing. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5062 He thinks he is standing on a shark. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5063 Uber, what about you? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5064 Finally, the appetizers are here! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5065 Yes, yes, I know, I've got a human on my back...what's new with you? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5066 Since Shamu retired, I’ve been working on a ‘Jaws’ theme idea. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5067 I decided to the the ride sharing thing a try 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5068 What? I've always wanted to be in someone's selfie. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5069 This is how Uber got started. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5070 That “Baby Shark” song has really ruined our reputation. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5071 I'm saving this one for desert. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5072 He's got ID showing he's a remora, but so far no benefit 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5073 I just feel like he weighs me down, you know? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5074 Should I call his bluff? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5075 He told me his name was Remora. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5076 Is this bro trying to do “ toes on the nose” board tricks? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5077 Who should break it to him, you or I? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5078 Don’t be embarrassed man, everyone’s working for a rideshare these days. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5079 It's distantly related to having a monkey on your back. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5080 My doctor put me on a no-Republican diet 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5081 He's insisting I nibble on his feet — something about a pedicure. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5082 What do I do? What do I do? He tried to jump the shark and missed. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5083 Here's your Uber Eats lunch delivery. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5084 I'm making Uber money...carol wants a fin job 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5085 Toenail fungus relieves the sonar headaches 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5086 You want to tell him I'm not his surfboard, or should I? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5087 It’s Sir Isaac Newton. He thinks I’m a giant. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5088 What do you want? It's my midnight snack. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5089 I said we'd split dinner. I got my half - Yours seems to have swum away... Sorry. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5090 Don't worry. He crashed through the surface where they can't hurt us. We're far from the shallow now. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5091 It's shark week, and he's a bit of a camera hog. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5092 I told you last week: not until the app is fully operational! 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5093 No need for a credit card, we have that on file! Enjoy your dinner! 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5094 Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5095 Talk about being drunk to the gills. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5096 Is that a monkey on my back? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5097 It does not weigh as much on your conscience if it’s happy meat. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5098 He is not my soul brother. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5099 And it's Miami Beach so he's still paying $6,000 a month 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5100 You can have him. It's hardly an appetizer. 1.1538 0.03904 78 68 9 1
5101 I'm really not a fan of body-surfing 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5102 Nah, brah... this helps both of us get chicks. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5103 Stop circling and do me and the rest of the world a favor!” 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5104 My father always told me I was a shoe. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5105 I thought a foot massage would be more relaxing. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5106 It's a useful prop. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5107 It's the finals 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5108 I call it UUber; Underwater Uber. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5109 Damned if I know,but I did hear someone call him Fonz. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5110 I know I should bite his leg off, and I will as soon as he’s finished this amazing massage. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5111 You needn't look so shagreened...Snooze Ya lose! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5112 But I just had a big breakfast! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5113 I'm afraid this one is shaken, not stirred. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5114 Professional courtesy - he 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5115 OK, we can share, but he's kinda skinny so I get the first bite. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5116 I'm an Uber Diver now. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5117 Embarrassed, this is nothing, you should see me when I have to pull the kids around! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5118 You want my leftovers? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5119 But when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5120 Fin massages are so underrated. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5121 He's part of my PR campaign to show a softer side." 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5122 I can't stand humans. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5123 I am a photographer. Food delivery is just a way of making a little extra. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5124 Well, it pays better than Uber." 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5125 I think he said something about ‘jumping.’ 1.1538 0.04112 78 68 9 1
5126 I feel bad for surfboards. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5127 I'm always on the lookout for a balanced meal. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5128 So I get $15/hr plus tips...not a bad gig these days 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5129 These massages just aren't doing anything for my stress anymore. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5130 Climate change killed my remora, and this clown's house is underwater, but he doesn't eat the scraps. 1.1538 0.03451 78 67 11 0
5131 Uber is expanding again. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5132 He's my therapist. Weird as it sounds, my back does feel better. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5133 First picture of Uber's expansion into ocean travel. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5134 Here’s how we’re different, Carl.. I would rather have a slow and steady bucket of sardines after every ride. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5135 It was only supposed to be a part time gig. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5136 Coming unprepared to the Shark Tank, yet expecting help? He’ll soon not have a leg to stand on! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5137 I'm a service shark and if he doesn't like my service I'll just eat him. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5138 He’s ours! Just play good carp.. ..bad carp 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5139 He wants to ride the Gulf Stream before the Arctic thaws. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5140 Jerry? Is that you? I didn't know you were driving for Uber now. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5141 This back massage sucks, I wish I was six feet under. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5142 He's showing me how to be an apex predator. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5143 Of course I'm chagrined. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5144 It’s pronounced “ah-shee-at-soo” 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5145 Patience, Larry. Patience... 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5146 I love him, but I'm tired of doing all the heavy lifting in our relationship 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5147 uber made me an offer I couldnt refuse 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5148 Lucky for him my parents put me through Charm School. 1.1538 0.04309 78 69 7 2
5149 If he yells 'Cowabunga' one more time, I'm quitting. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5150 Don't bother. It probably tastes worse than it smells. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5151 My Broker says the housing market is getting weak. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5152 Don't even think about it, Steve. He gives the best massages. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5153 You know the old saying, Monkey on your back? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5154 The real trick is to lull them into complacency. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5155 To tell you the truth, I enjoyed my time as a surfboard a whole lot more! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5156 Got a to-go lunch today. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5157 I wish he'd get off my back about Shark Week. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5158 Let’s take a deep dive and see if he can tread water. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5159 Back off, I’m his surf board! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5160 We get a bad reputation when we react to a stunt like this. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5161 It’s a brand thing: deep-six that stigma of “A shark of lawyers” with “A stand of sharks.” 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5162 My chiropractor recommended it. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5163 It's like Uber, but for surfboards. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
5164 It's a new form of massage..."Shiarktsu" 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5165 This way I burn off 300 calories before dinner. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5166 I am Aquaman’s personal chauffeur, not an Uber driver. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5167 I know this is beneath me but Spielberg promised me a SAG card. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
5168 Is it me, or do they seem preoccupied lately ? Kevin Collins, Cleveland, Ohio 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
5169 Ok, I know the Sharks aren't the killers we think they are campaign is working well, but this is taking out too far. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
5170 If we eat him now, we will have to spend an hour without swimming later 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5171 We're trying out for a new reality show. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5172 I'm getting bikini-ready for the summer. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5173 Yo bro, am I dreaming or is there some white dude standing on my head. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5174 I'm saving the rest for the NBA Finals 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5175 He's my dentist. I have bills. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5176 Too skiny, doesn't worth the effort. Waiting him to drop into my mouth 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5177 Technically I'm an Uber Pool independent contractor. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5178 Don't swing at it, I'm allergic to them. 1.1467 0.04113 75 68 5 2
5179 It's a new community initiative 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5180 I'm starting a ceding frenzy. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5181 He mentioned something about white privilege, and I don't even know what that is. Yet, here we are. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5182 How long are you gonna make me balance this before I can eat it? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5183 If my agent doesn't upgrade me from this carnival show to a Shark Week spot, I'm going to eat him alive. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5184 I'm not in a play. I have to really break a leg. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5185 He knows about our affair and demands payment in bitcoins. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5186 Man to Man. You lose! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5187 I try to do my bit for species preservation, especially when I'm not hungry. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5188 Go on 3. 1 2 ... 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5189 He's no George Jefferson. But he'll do for now. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5190 The other kids laugh at him if he uses floaties. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5191 We know you're guilty. Now tell us how you did it. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5192 Ugh I’ve got snort-I mean legs sticking on by the snort that slips down your spine all wriggly like how’s the kids? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5193 Surf’s down. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5194 Now I hope this will teach you never to bite inflatable whales you don’t know! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5195 Don’t look up, Frank. The Lord is testing our commitment to Veganuary. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5196 I find that the fin just scares them away. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5197 I feel guilty, he looked so happy when he stepped "on that stone". 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5198 It's my lucky lure; caught me a 290 lb. one last week. Too fatty to eat, but looks awesome hanging above my mantle. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5199 Baby shark kids all grown now! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5200 I'd say Bobby Darin is out of his depth. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5201 He just wants me for his Jesus shoes. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5202 The human footprint is closer that I realized! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5203 I know it's bad for you, but I can't resist carryout 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5204 I think it's high time we make a movie about how humans have stood on us for years. They make plenty of movies about us. 1.1467 0.05910 75 69 1 5
5205 A new plastic free thrill. You'll see, it's a win win! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5206 It's a Faustian Bargain--after he wins the gold for synchronized swimming, I get to eat him 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5207 If you turn this upside-down, YOU'RE impossible! 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5208 Ashiatsu barefoot massage. What are you having done? 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5209 So is name Fut Fin or what? 1.1467 0.01342 75 67 8 0
5210 Yes, I've heard of 'jumping the shark'; but 'on the shark'? Reality show desperation if you ask me. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5211 You were at my wedding, Denise... 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5212 I told you I'd get rven 1.1467 0.04326 75 67 6 2
5213 I saved the dark meat for you. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5214 Have you ever heard of peaceful coexistence? How about three star Michelin chef? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5215 I promised him a short ride for a few fish, but he won’t get off! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5216 They tell me it works with ducks. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5217 I knew the Uber concept wouldn't work down here 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5218 I already ate his surf board. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5219 Remember, we talked about sharing. I'll slowly dro... 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5220 I disrupting ocean travel. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5221 So you're the left shark that messed everything up at the Superbowl huh? Humans are still riding this four years later... 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5222 It's the new Uber and it doesn't matter if the riders disappear. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5223 Get the net ready, here they come. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5224 I can't be bothered 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5225 I’m waiting tables until I hear back about that role I’m up for in the next “Jaws” sequel 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5226 He's such a dick. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5227 It looked a lot easier in “Jaws.” 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5228 The gig economy is hell on my back. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5229 Weird flex but okay. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5230 This guy says we are under arrest for being loan sharks. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5231 ........or do you prefer chocolate? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5232 Don't even think it...or you're shark bait! 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5233 Surf's Up??? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5234 Are you going to date him or eat him... 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5235 His business plan shark tanked! 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5236 A tale of two heads. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5237 I forgot our what you taught me. ``Lend them $1,000, you own them. Lend them $10 million, they own you.'' Alas! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5238 They say the adaptable survive. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5239 I know it looks weird but you wouldn’t believe it’s a reception 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5240 It’s called Ashiatsu, a Japanese form of deep tissue foot massage, seeking to balance the yin and the yang.. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5241 I think I‘m having a long lasting sleep paralysis... 1.1467 0.04113 75 66 8 1
5242 Why don't we Eskimo kiss and move on 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5243 Oh, that’s Finn. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5244 We lost in surfboard litigation 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
5245 This is Glen's version of "jumping the shark." 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5246 I love to go but I don't get off until 5. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5247 They're so speciesist, keeping us down with their glass ceiling. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5248 Not tonight, darling, I have a bad headache. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5249 Steve and I were really looking forward to Spades night, but someone had to go and eat his partner, didn't he? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5250 I have a terrible headache. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5251 You or me? Or should we skip the appetizer and go for a main course later? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5252 Have you eaten yet? I ordered take out. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5253 White guys are friends not food. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5254 I finally grew a pair. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5255 Employment condition, his "Facade of decency" 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5256 I can't eat him. I need the five star reviews. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5257 Thanks for the invite, but I don't feel like I can leave right now. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5258 Must be Uber Ocean summer surge. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5259 Don't yuck my yum. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5260 The doctor said it's just growing pains. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5261 I’m not sure if these are snacks or the full body 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5262 He’s a ten-tied genius, man. Like gentle, but like totally deep tissue, my broheim. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5263 Whoever said these were shark infested waters is wrong Dad. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5264 I couldn't get a job coding. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5265 Help yourself. I've already had lunch. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5266 Yes, I saw what they did to the wolves, Eddy. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5267 Meet Kevin O'Leary. 1.1370 0.05276 73 66 4 3
5268 Yeah, shark surfing. It's a living. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5269 I am a gig worker for Uber Under. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5270 I'm going for the Carmen Miranda look 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5271 Wait until he realizes I'm not a sandbar! 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5272 Let's eat after my chiropractic session 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5273 Best dorsal massage in the ocean. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5274 This one is too skinny so we made a deal. He gets ten minutes to find a fatter lunch morsel for me. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5275 If he finds out,they'll close the beach for weeks! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5276 I like the President's confidence. Let's count to 3 and ... 1.1370 0.04497 73 66 5 2
5277 Oh spare me your attitude. He's my chiropractor. 1.1370 0.04280 73 66 5 2
5278 I always pack a snack--low blood sugar, you know. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5279 Way better than goat massage. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5280 Its an ok decoy, but “Free Beer Guy” doesn’t work as well as “Big Breast Lady” . 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5281 He's not the best, but most ashiatsu services don't do house calls. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5282 If humans can be vegetarian so can sharks 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5283 I would've started Uber sooner but they had a pretty thorough background check. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5284 Does he know how tasteless his bare legs are! 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5285 I’ll hurl him up hard and you surface with jaws open. He’ll never know what hit him. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5286 Here honey—I know you like the drumsticks! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5287 And then stir, before tasting... 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5288 Not as humiliating as getting blown to bits by a scuba tank. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5289 Transfer available? 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5290 Ja, ve call our new ride-sharing service Ü-ber. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5291 I'll let him play apex predator for a little longer and then we'll have lunch. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5292 His name is Rey Mora 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5293 You haven't heard? It's Uber's latest gig. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5294 Daughter's new boyfriend. Trying to keep an open mind. Hoping it doesn't last 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5295 I got it to attract swimmers. If you get one, have a blowfish inflate it! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5296 Bro his metatorsal is on my dorsal. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5297 I heard this will help with the knots in my cartilage. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5298 I'm giving him time to phone a friend 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5299 What can I say,I've become a vegetarian ! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5300 Don't even think about it. This is the best massage I've had since I stopped eating legs. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5301 We're in the wrong support group. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5302 Jealous, huh? This is my Uber Eats guy. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5303 I'm supposed to wait 30 minutes after ingesting the upper torso. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5304 This gig economy has me now working for callus removal company too. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5305 He'll be okay; I'm a nurse shark." 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5306 No, no, he's really nice once you get to know him. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5307 I thought being an Uber-predator would have been more exciting. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5308 Leg food? Please, be my guest. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5309 I told you that we do our food delivery on time. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5310 The IPO will pay off big after an extended period of private funding 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5311 This boogie board ride is going to end badly. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5312 Dude, I brought lunch, I swear! I don't know where I left it. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5313 I dunno, I guess I'd thought I'd have more independence when I signed up with Uber 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5314 My masseur has this Ashiatsu technique he is trying out. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5315 It's harder to eat when you drive for Uber. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5316 When I was a kid I always wanted to play submarine. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5317 The ocean version of Ellen’s “know or go” game 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5318 I always travel with snacks 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5319 Our image peaked with "Jaws." It has been all downhill since then. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5320 Should I rock the boat on his free ride? 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5321 Do you think another one of these hackneyed leadership survival guides hit the bestseller list? 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5322 He used to hang twenty. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5323 You look skeptical, but I'm telling you this summer it's all about deep tissue. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5324 I have a headache. I have a 150 pounding headache. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5325 Ok Karen, I'll ask her to leave. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5326 Want to feel the water get warm?....... 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5327 Don't you just hate it when you can't reach that last bit you your lunch? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5328 Yeah, life hasn't been the same since I signed with Suber 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5329 Bait and switch. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5330 What? Do I have a piece of human caught between my teeth? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5331 I packed my lunch today. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5332 Uber Shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo Uber Shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5333 I swallowed the surf board, but how did I miss the surfer?!? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5334 Ever since big pharma turned off the Internet pipes, they had to find some new form of amusement. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5335 Tell me when he moves. I'm hungry. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5336 Remember "the Fonz?" Well, he tried it again! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5337 I told you not eat so fast! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5338 Would you like a roll of toilet paper? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5339 Glue commercial 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5340 He’s trying to protect the corral reef 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5341 I feel the weight of life pushing me down. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5342 What’s the matter, buddy? You’re looking at me like I’m out of fashion or something. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5343 I feel so guilty--I devoured his surf board. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5344 I like a good back massage before dinner. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5345 I'm baking the rest. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5346 I've got a lot on my mind. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5347 Working for Uber makes me question myself. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5348 When are they going to remake Jaws? This is getting ridiculous. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5349 Do you want to tell him, or should I? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5350 Sentencing for biting surfboards is getting tougher. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5351 ‘This foot crisis is weighing me down.’ 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5352 He gives great massages. To bad i will have him for dinner. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5353 I'm between jobs at the moment, but this Grubhub gig isn't too bad. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5354 I felt like this was one of those times I should call my sponsor. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5355 You realize you’re letting your dinner walk all over you. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5356 How come I always get the lower half? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5357 I was just going to eat him, but I'll get bad reviews if I only use Uber for food 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5358 He brings me all the krill I can eat. If he ever stops, we’ll ... 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5359 My wife said Phinn is supposed to help me be a little more discrete in public. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5360 I got a Monkey on my back ! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5361 „It‘s a Double Whopper, he‘s carrying a toddler!“ 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5362 You wanna help me put the 'rip' in 'riptide?'" 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5363 Must be one of those bleeding heart 'live and let live' idiots. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5364 You want to break the news to him, or shall I? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5365 Should we give him a standing ovation before his obliteration? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5366 I'd go up there myself but I've got a bad back. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5367 You take the left ankle I'm not all that hungry 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5368 When I started swimming for Uber I thought I would be my own boss. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5369 Hungry? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5370 I think he said his last name was Remora 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5371 Hey look, I'm a surfboard! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5372 I know. I know. But I like getting my belly waxed. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5373 If I knew that this is what a paralegal had to do I would have studied something else. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5374 This wasn't in my contract. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5375 I feel like we've come a long way since JAWS. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5376 No, I am not going down alone 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5377 I’m trying to be the perfect host. 1.1304 0.05428 69 63 3 3
5378 Yes, Stan, it is frustrating that I cannot touch the top of my head. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5379 One stomp - human edibles. Two stomps - a boat. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5380 These humans are taking their obsession with "Baby Shark" a bit too far. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5381 These remoras are getting so annoying. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5382 They are taking this Baby Shark song a bit too far. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5383 Bro its Steven Spielberg. You can't eat him 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5384 These tourists walking all over us are starting to make me feel very salty. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5385 I should have signed up as an Uber driver instead of letting this jerk ride me for free. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5386 He's standing on my reputation. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5387 I get paid by the pound! 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5388 Next time, you get the take out! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5389 He thinks I'm his big brother with a mask and flippers. Wish I could do a selfie when he wakes up! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5390 SUP"! "SUP!" Do you know anything about this 'SUP' frenzy 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5391 The dufus thought he was stepping into shallow water. In about five seconds I’m going flip up my head, open my mouth as wide as I can and swallow him whole. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5392 It's Mark Cuban again. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5393 I thought he'd look good in the aquarium, turns blue and expands. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5394 That's my alter ego. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5395 I liked it better when they swam with us, not really into this paddle boarding thing 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5396 What? It just happened. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5397 Don't go into the bay... tech bros are ruthless this time of year. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5398 It’s human yoga followed by dinner 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5399 I already had half for dinner but I'm gonna hold on to the other half in case I want a late night snack. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5400 A Daring Feet 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5401 I GET THE BOTTOM, you get the top half 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5402 YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD THIS FEELS. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5403 I told you they'd take advantage of us 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5404 I sold our air rights to send the kids to school. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5405 We're waitin' for our pastrami sandwich orders - they make beach front deliveries here at Margate. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5406 Vegan. Soooo, not worth it. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5407 I can't get this monkey off my back. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5408 They’ve broken my spirit with these sensors. My element of surprise is gone and they just toy with me. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5409 He thought *I* was a surfboard. Ironic, right? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5410 Uber is piloting this new service to prepare for climate change. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5411 I'm accidentally grabbed the vegan option. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5412 I get the bottom half 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5413 He gave me a fifty and said to follow that tuna and make it quick. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5414 Shark skin pedicures are about all i can offer the gig economy these days 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5415 He thinks it's turtles all the way down. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5416 Shark skin is the new pumice. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5417 Leftovers again tonight! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5418 What can I say? The pay is good, and I get lunch for free! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5419 I caught really do with a bite right now. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5420 Well, I've picked up some extra cash working for ScUber, so I don't really mind. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5421 My boss is riding me about making partner. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5422 I brought takeout. We're going to spend the evening sharing. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5423 He says he’s from a TV show and wants to intern with us. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5424 It's Fonzie, again. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5425 It's community service. I was caught shark-lifting. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5426 I'm waiting for dinner time. Want to come over? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5427 Yeah, I was gonna eat him until he said we should all wait until the 2020 elections are over. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5428 Indian poker? Who invented this stupid game? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5429 The apprentice in the shark tank is riding you. He won't drain the swamp. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5430 Daddy human. Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo. Daddy human. Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo. Daddy human. Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo. It's the end. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5431 We expect to bring opportunity to people who would otherwise never access the exposure to liquidity or the mentorship the shark tank experience will provide.” 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5432 Hey, if you need a good massage... 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5433 You can have the bottom half and I’ll have the top half. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5434 As a Democrat I don’t charge them for the Rio Grande crossing. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5435 thanks for thinking of me but i am not a leg man 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5436 Ever since the Wreck beached me, I've been under foot. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5437 The shorts aren't my taste. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5438 Remember, don't go for the toes! My dorsal is still hurting from last time. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5439 Hey Doc, I have a tingling sensation on my back. Can you take a look? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5440 Hang ten my fins. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5441 I took a bite out of his surfboard and it turned out he is a lawyer. We both agreed this is better than going to small claims court. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5442 Is it still there? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5443 Shark selfie. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5444 I looked up "periscope" on Amazon. Why? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5445 Successful Uber drivers always keep moving. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5446 So the caravan didn't work huh? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5447 What does cowabunga mean? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5448 I’m feeling a little weighed down lately how ‘bout you Gary? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5449 And how sure are you about this "heaven"? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5450 It's a synbiotic relationship. He gives me ashiatsu massages and I don't eat him. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5451 Don’t fall for it. It’s shark bait from Jaws X, the reality show. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5452 I've got to up my game. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5453 Honey, I think I might have a lyme disease?!?! 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5454 His torso gave me indigestion. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5455 Taking selfies "jumping the shark" is where I draw the line. This ends now! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5456 Soups on. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5457 His official job title is VP for Consumer Development but we just call him "bait." 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5458 He’s adjusting his scuba gear 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5459 Lucky guy 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5460 It’s actually quite comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing one next season. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5461 What did the top half taste like? 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5462 Happy to give him a leg up, but I'm taking one of the legs when all is said and done. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5463 What,Walter--nothing on the side? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5464 All clear up here 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5465 I had to take this Ride Share, or should I say Ride Shark, job to make ends meet. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5466 He told me he’s a shark boarder 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5467 It's my retirement plan. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5468 I'm going to need a bigger boy. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5469 You've never heard of 'bait and switch'? The whole herd will have a smorgasbord for lunch! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5470 I remember the time he was dating you. He used to stay above water, no? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5471 Working for Uber to put food on the table. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5472 He won't jump off!_ 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5473 It is actually the devil and he walks on sharks. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5474 It's time for my break now. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5475 People never really know they’re stepping on in the ocean 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5476 Our earth is dying. Humans are destroying our seas, our forests, and our atmosphere. We’re almost past the point of no return. This is not a joke. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5477 Just warming up dinner. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5478 Want to flip a coin? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5479 I just downloaded the Uber partner app and thry climb right on. 1.1304 0.02856 69 64 4 1
5480 This is what I call an eco-friendly move. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5481 Feels a little light for my taste. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5482 Are you kidding me ? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5483 Our special this evening is surf'in' turf. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5484 I'm calling it 'MAXI-TAXI:WE TAKE YOU ALL THE WAY HOME' 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5485 No. We never promised a 20-minute delivery guarantee. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5486 On the count of three, I submerge and you grab. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5487 This is too easy! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5488 It's good for my back. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5489 Now I will open my mouth and you just move aside with a sharp jerk. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5490 He only charges $60 an hour and I swear, it’ll change your life. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5491 PLease don't bite, he's my backscratcher. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5492 People these days are so lazy. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5493 You go ahead, pal, I prefer breast meat. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5494 Stick around. He’s very persuasive. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5495 These humans have been all over my back about these recent attacks 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5496 Go wide like you're really scared of me, then sneak up from behind. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5497 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe... 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5498 Feeding in shallow waters offers a new menu. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5499 Is it dinner or a snack? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5500 An accessory I never should have bought 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5501 It's fine. He's filming a spot for 'Shark Week. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5502 We need to keep our entrepreneurs a float. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5503 Sharks finnnnnnnn 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5504 He’s paying me an arm and a leg. There were not enough Uber boats so sharks had to step in. 1.1304 0.05428 69 63 3 3
5505 Being a driver pays great, and I just lie about the mandatory sleep. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5506 It's payback. I chewed up his surfboard. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5507 I was a stand up comedian before getting into the paddling business 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5508 It's part of the yoga class I'm taking. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5509 Every now and then it's good to take a stab at public relations. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5510 I hate to let a good meal go to waist." 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5511 Apparently, it was either this or the network was going to cancel. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5512 An ocean full of scrawny, mindless kids. I hate beach week. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5513 Fin. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5514 Could you speak up? There's a guy stepping on my ears. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5515 I think I found the cure for my ennui. Shall we? 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5516 After I get past the last sand bar I'll eat him. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5517 They're a basic life form--eat, spawn, repeat. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5518 I'm into the new sharing economy. Want a piece? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5519 Do you want to get this guy off my back? You’re bid enough to swallow him whole so please don’t wait, his weight is killing me! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5520 I decided to give pedicures for the summer this year. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5521 Green party warfare doctrine: Down with submarines. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5522 What? It’s a flavor saver. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5523 Do we share? 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5524 I love feet. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5525 We are sharks, but there is a person standing on me. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5526 I feel like they fooled us with the reparation-contract for what we did in Jaws. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5527 I started swimming for Uber to make a few clams on the side. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5528 The doctor said I've got athlete's foot. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5529 The shark fin was too intimidating. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5530 They taste better exfoliated. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5531 Please. Don't hate me. I'm trying to be good. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5532 Riding shark, doo doo 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5533 One more carpet shark joke and I’m not sharing him with you. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5534 I'm just trying to keep my head above water. 1.1286 0.02821 70 64 5 1
5535 I LOST MY PERISCOPE. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5536 You want to split it? 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5537 We're a new subsidiary, "Uber.cool" 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5538 Still trying to decide if I'll like the topping on this one. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5539 His toenails are extra long so I’m waiting for my back itch to go away before I eat him. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5540 I've brought you a take out 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5541 Lemme see you're slam dunk. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5542 I had to --he was behaving like a fish out of water. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5543 Wanna end a trend? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5544 Well, I _am_ smiling. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5545 My new barber took some liberties. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5546 It’s temporary, just until I get him a new board. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5547 There's an upper half? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5548 When I move, we'll have lunch. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5549 Don't they realize they're swimming in our restaurant? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5550 Don't you dare start singing 'Baby Humans.' 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5551 Do something, quick! His toe nails are killing me! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5552 It hurts me more than it will hurt him. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5553 I’m stuffed, Charlie. Want the other half? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5554 Are you in or out on this deal? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5555 Nope, sorry - there isn't any breast meat here! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5556 I don't know, I just downloaded the app... 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5557 He thought I was his Lyft 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5558 Yea, but he scratches my back. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5559 It's the only thing that makes my back feel better 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5560 .My ichthyologist recommended shiatsu 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5561 Pilates. It helps the spine. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5562 Well it did say Neptune Jnr. on his drivers licence" 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5563 He’s a plastic surgeon 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5564 His stability will soon prove to be fishy 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5565 He thinks he's swimming with dolphins, hee,hee,hee... 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5566 Shooting humans in a barrel. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5567 My latest hanger on needs oxygen. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5568 Yeah, I know. But he gives a great foot massage. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5569 SSSShh! He thinks I'm his surfboard. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5570 Are you sure a diet rich in vitamin D is worth the effort? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5571 He saved Ernie by grabbing that harpoon, so yeah, just this one time ... 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5572 I'm full. This time you can jump. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5573 Do you think we should let him know? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5574 Look at those great toes, I will take the right leg! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5575 They said he was going to jump the shark but here it is, another season, and he's still here 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5576 I'm starting to think it's not a new dorsal fin. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5577 Dude! If we can convince ten other sharks, we'll have an all-you-can-eat buffet. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
5578 Are you kidding me? Where has the challenge gone? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5579 Ride-sharing sucks!” 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5580 I just can't decide what to make for dinner. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5581 My handicap is human 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5582 Now I really am a fluke. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5583 I asked for Thai massage and this what I got. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5584 This Sharkitsu Massage is another interwet scam! 1.1212 0.04048 66 60 5 1
5585 You can to set your own hours in the app. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5586 Aqua-ber Eats 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5587 I'm gonna need a bigger body. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5588 Not sure about this "Uber" thing! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5589 Huyttyytgtgtt gghfjdh hfhghhgg hgfseffgyheuf which fun ufuudhfb using bchfb fbjdidhfhhrjhrodj chef jjjkf. Corked dinjeihrjofiei Xing Ivor jvifhejei j jrbncun 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
5590 I'm going undercover to infiltrate Sea World...watch for my signal. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5591 He thinks he's not over his head 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5592 But when /I/ do this to him, he freaks out . . . 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5593 I saved him for lunch. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5594 It's only fair. I ate his surfboard." -Stephen West, Laurel M 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5595 Am saving my lunch for later. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5596 OK--What'll ya give me for him? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5597 He knows they'll believe he can really float vertically. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5598 And you wonder why they don't fear you, your letting them walk all over you!_"no this is how I make them think I respect & fear them" 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5599 I acknowledge that the gig economy has its downsides, Justin. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5600 The unintended consequences of Blackfish.... 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5601 I heard this place has the best foot massages. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5602 You know what I hate Bruce? When the tourists from Arizona start hanging out at the beach and pretend to know what they are doing. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5603 Would you believe he thought “jump the shark” meant jump ONTO the shark? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5604 What you don’t know can’t hurt you. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5605 I woke up with the worst hangover. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5606 Should we save the leftovers? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5607 "It's not scary this way." 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5608 This is not what I meant when I agreed to be the shark to back him. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5609 No. I’m working my Uber gig. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5610 I wish these tourists would use pumice stones. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5611 Darling, John Williams is playing our song! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5612 In this economy? A podiatrist job is all I could find. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5613 Shut up. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5614 I thought I'd stop by for a massage and a quick lunch. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5615 I keep telling ya, they need a bigger boat. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5616 I call him my 'Dorsal Tim' 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5617 You here for a foot massage or to eat them? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5618 What? I’m just an Uber...or at least that what he says I am... 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5619 Now that the planet is over-flooded,I might as well be a Ferrari 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5620 I know we're running late but I don't want to be rude... 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5621 I guess I'll have to take it from here." 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5622 He's not part of the South Beach diet. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5623 "He calls himself The Shark Rider. Not for long!" 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5624 I want to eat him, but I'm afraid he'll lose his balance. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5625 I am so hungry and I have a splitting headache. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5626 He was on a surfboard a second ago before he wiped out... you still hungry, we could split... 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5627 I'll split the take 50/50 if you get this jerk off my neck. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5628 Oh, like you knew what Fintech was! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5629 Let's split the legs. I'll take the left. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5630 It's a new Uber service. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5631 His kids were tempting, but so were his foot massages. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5632 I’ve been finding my lawyer to be a little scarier than the fin these days. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5633 We're gonna need a bigger boot. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5634 A real free loader! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5635 It's symbiotic. He knows all the best places to eat. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5636 Hey Matey, SKIP the dishes, your Surfer dude! 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5637 of course you realize this means war? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5638 I thought it wouldn't work out either, but he OWNS climate change! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5639 I have a biting business proposal for a new line of swimwear! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5640 Wanna come over for dinner? There's enough here for both of us. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5641 Swim away, doo doo doo doo doo doo. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5642 I can't seem to get rid of this hangover. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5643 Really? The whole country is underwater, And this is what they’re serving? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5644 I let him survive because he entices much human flesh 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5645 It really helps with my upper back pain. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5646 I know it's a bad look, but it does wonders for the sore spot next to my dorsal fin. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5647 I was really looking forward to that back rub after lunch. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5648 Will you cut his toenails? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5649 I feel my head a bit heavier than usual. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5650 If I drop, will you share? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5651 It’s very difficult to be a vegetarian in this world 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5652 Want a drumstick and a thigh? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5653 Yeah I'm swimming for Uber full time now. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5654 I’d love to but I’ve had this stiff neck all week 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5655 I auditioned for the movies, and this is the role they gave me. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5656 No. Nobody will see him because I bit him in half. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5657 I ate the top half for lunch but I'm saving the bottom half for later, it's an aphrodisiac." 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5658 He’s a pre-lunch periscope” 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5659 Sorry, he's MY client 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
5660 Get off my back 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5661 Genius,he thinks he's touching bottom.I'll use him as an appetizer. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5662 He's from Chicago. He thinks I'm a dolphin. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5663 I'm making a killing on this Scuber gig. 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
5664 Do what you will, but not until my 90 min are up. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5665 You didn’t pack a lunch? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5666 I got the surf. You get the turf. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5667 I subscribed to that new ride sharing service. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5668 It's a trade off. I get a shiatsu,he gets to live. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5669 1. When do you think it is a good time to tell him you are not a surfboard? 2. And they thought the unlicensed taxi drivers were dangerous... 3. What do you call a man sitting on a shark? Fred a staire! 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5670 They’re always this late — can’t we start eating without them? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5671 You may have his lower half, and I'll finish off the upper. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5672 Crazy, heck!! I'm making twenty five bucks an hour, pal. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5673 I told him he could say goodbye to his wife and kids. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5674 This is what I hate about Veganuary. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5675 Hurry up and bring the other guys. I am getting tired of holding this food up for the feeding frenzy. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5676 I couldn't swim the sharks, I guess, and that's why I became an Uber driver. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5677 This way they never know they’re gonna be eaten. 1.1194 0.04998 67 61 4 2
5678 It's your turn to remind them we're not dolphins. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5679 The top was outstanding too. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5680 Bowling with sharks: "Make that spare!" 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5681 It sure would be easier if we met at the shallow end of the pool. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5682 OSHA said we present the workplace hazard to him? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5683 Is it me or does my remora smell like feet? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5684 Honey, will you scratch my back? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5685 Sure it's annoying, but worthwhile at supper. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5686 Surf & Turf vacation contest. Its actually incredibly difficult to win. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5687 Serve man? Get a life. 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
5688 I’m not getting it, I’m sorry. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5689 Shark to shark - "you've taken this sobriety this a bit too far!" 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5690 Remember how we were before SeaWorld? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5691 I don’t care what you say. His name is Remora and I love him. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5692 Why would I eat him before the massage is finished? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5693 You would think living in the zoo has at least some perks. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5694 I hear he comes from a long line of rodeo performers . 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5695 He must think I'm stuffed. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5696 He's last name is RAMORA 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5697 We don't want to evolve into surf boards 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5698 He's gonna swim with the fishes for this! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5699 Don't judge, YOLO dude, it's on my bucket list 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5700 I'm just waiting until happy hour is over for the main course. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5701 It feels like we’re about 2 feet from the surface. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5702 I already ate dinner.. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5703 You want his left foot or right foot? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5704 The price of gas must have gone up again.... 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5705 The A train was broken and Jets were at another rumble, so I took a Shark 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5706 I just can’t seem to shake this thing. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5707 I had a late lunch. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5708 he's walking around on those... what do you call them? oh right, sharks. get it? like the little mermaid? i should probably keep working on it. the All-Ocean Comedy Contest is still a week away. what's that? sure i'll go into detail about my comedy! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5709 No one really understands until they've experienced this guy's feet doing a deep, deep pre-dorsal massage. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5710 He doesn’t know how to swim. He’s really nice but he doesn’t really get me. If I tell him it’s over, he’s going to be so crushed. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5711 He thinks it's a cool trick - I call it a snack 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5712 Don't bite, he promised another Sharknado 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5713 The hardest part is using the rideshare app underwater. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5714 Sooner or later I'll eat him, but for now it's really helping my back pain. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5715 It's just for the week Ed. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5716 Really? That's jumping the shark? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5717 Yes, I know... it's a test to see if strict vegetarianism still helps you feel lighter! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5718 When he told me that we should reciprocate 'Shark Week' by instating 'Human Week,' I thought it made sense. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5719 Your turn to jump the shark! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5720 So where is your dinner?* 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5721 It's a franchise. If you can eat it, you can wear it. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5722 Did you order the one with the pigeon legs? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5723 I just cannot seem to shake this pain in my neck. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5724 He’s joining our Law firm. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5725 We're training for a new show called Shark du Soleil. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5726 Professional courtesy. He's the guy got Doris and me that condo for half price last year. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5727 He wanted to wave ‘goodbye’ to his family. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5728 When he proposed, 'Shark Tank,' this is not what I thought he meant! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5729 This Thai massage is making me hungry! 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5730 He said that if I helped him with his beach side theatre installation, he’d get his dad to grant me poaching immunity 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5731 So that's how it feels to be a surfboard. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5732 I’ll flip you 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5733 I won’t be a stereotype. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5734 The remoras I'd been working with died because of all the plastic and shit in the water, so now I've got this intern fresh out of Oberlin. I can only catch like 50 percent of what he says, but I get the sense he's a total bitch. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5735 Let's blow this Popsicle® stand 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5736 This gig economy is getting ridiculous 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5737 Hammertoe, not hammerhead. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5738 It's either acting as a surfboard or being hunted to extinction 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5739 And I thought "$ 10.00 for an hour of professional ashiatsu massage is actually pretty reasonable". 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5740 Oh, this? No, I'm just in it for the food. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5741 I'm about to teach these humans they can't walk all over us. Tom Seessel 109 Featherbed Ln Hopewell NJ 08525 tseessel@verizon.net (609) 466 2267 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5742 It's a job. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5743 Just remember, I prefer them medium rare. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5744 No it’s not a foot massage; he’s too dumb to eat. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5745 For lunch, what's your preference: his fatty butt or his skinny legs? 1.1094 0.03603 64 59 4 1
5746 When I was told I was a cornerstone species, I didn't think that this is what they meant 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5747 On the count of three I am going to flip him; see if you can get him in one bite! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5748 He's on loan from another shark who owes me fodder. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5749 Please tell me it's just seaweed. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5750 My mom takes school spirit week very seriously. You should have seen what she made me wear for "Crazy Sock Day." 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5751 Yes, it is annoying - but, professional courtesy. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5752 I don't think I look like a surfboard either, but here we are. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5753 He promised me sushi from the snack bar.” 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5754 I'm working for Underwater Uber. But meals are included. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5755 Ooh I just love a good Thai massage 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5756 Nah, I really think it was John Williams' score that made it seem so appealing. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5757 Professional courtesy for lawyers has gone too far. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5758 Shark Roulette 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5759 Luckily for him, I'm not feeling hungry; I'm too worried about picking up 'athlete's fin.' 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5760 I really believe that nothing good should be busy. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5761 I wish I had a really good reason to ask him to move... like, 'You're blocking my blowhole.' 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5762 They say a human foot massage every so often is good for the cartilage. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5763 He's a New Yorker, holds on with a straphanger. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5764 I think this must be à la cartilage. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5765 He should be lucky I’m not hungry 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5766 I'm working for Uber. Free snacks, if you catch my drift. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5767 He calls himself Mr Magoo. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5768 Do you know what a remora fish is? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5769 I'm trying to make some extra money doing this rideshare thing. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5770 No, if you bite him in half, I'll have to make two trips. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5771 I told you, I get no respect. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5772 I’ve got a stupid one. What do you suggest? Don Dechman Austin, T 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5773 When I become a Gefilte Fish he'll be replaced by a carrot. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5774 Then I'll do a double flip in the air and he'll land on your nose, arms outstretched but steady. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5775 The worst part is that he insists I call him "Danprey." 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5776 Waist not...want not... 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
5777 Remoras are sooooo passé. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5778 I'm hoping this will help me sleep. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5779 The fin just scared them. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5780 He is convinced Mr. Wonderful will be impressed on Shark Tank. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5781 This is the price I have to pay for a decent back rub. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5782 Would you mind helping my passenger off so I can eat him? 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5783 Didn't you pack a lunch? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5784 You know I love that humans are less scared of us because all those documentaries, but this is a bit too far 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5785 He can't swim! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5786 He's not a pilot fish? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5787 So, I have weak boundaries. Whaddaya gonna do? We’ll eat him next time. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5788 It's carry your lunch to school day! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5789 Scuber driver. 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
5790 I don't have the heart to tell him that no shark is an island. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5791 My back itches. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5792 I'M going to do a back flip. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5793 Apparently the show hasn't jumped the shark yet. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5794 He's warning Cape Codders to stay out of the water" 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5795 Sorry, no walk-ins. And it’s pronounced ‘Ashiatsu.’ 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5796 It relieves tension. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5797 For a Costco-size bag of Cheetos I gave Barron 60 minutes to keep Donald here,but WTF, let's just trade him back and forth for the hell of it. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5798 Well I started driving for Lyft. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5799 At least I'm not alone, shark! 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5800 I'm two feet under water. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5801 The hubby's birthday gift - exfoliation by natural species. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5802 Now let's see if he can do that with one leg. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5803 I’m with Uber. Are you Lyft? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5804 Don’t go in for the kill until I get to see his expressions. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5805 Don't eat him until I get the tip receipt back from Uber. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5806 The remora were making me itch. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5807 I have an itch. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5808 Whadya mean, standing room only? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5809 Happy Anniversary! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5810 He thinks I'm his surfboard, but that's all part of the plan. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5811 I've been sharking for Uber 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5812 The growth started off Fukushima! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5813 Sorry can't join you... I brought my lunch today. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5814 Don't look at me that way. I told you it's the new "gig" economy 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5815 'Cheryl, you need to get off my back about some guy being on my back' 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5816 As long as he's up there I have a snack available any time I'm hungry 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5817 Malaysian Airlines? 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5818 Go ahead if you want. It's the state pen's field trip to the beach today and my wife's got me eating cage-free only! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5819 Being a Uber driver has its advantages in cutting down preying time 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5820 It's a trophy I got when we beat the hammerheads. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5821 I’m saving the bottom half for supper. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5822 Wait 'til you see what happens when I flip my head up. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5823 This dude’s so lame he couldn’t even jump the shark! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5824 We’re practicing for the new olympics event. After my lunch is practice for the special olympics. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5825 He said he was an ashiatsu massage therapist, but I think he just wanted to show off for his girlfriend. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5826 It was either this or Chairing the Truth and Reconciliation Commission 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
5827 Jake got the guy's upper half. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5828 It's called "native advertising" 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
5829 I’d eat him, but the shiatsu’s too good. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
5830 It's better than traditional ashiatsu because it comes with a snack at the end. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
5831 It's the latest in lures. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
5832 He said, if I don't keep swimming, the relationship will die. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
5833 My mom is the harshest disciplinarian in the sea. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5834 The top half was delicious.You can have the rest. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5835 I picked up some take-out at the beach. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5836 I was hungry. Now I'm just mad. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
5837 ...And he's got a monkey on his. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
5838 This ride sharing fad is getting out of control. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5839 We're going to need a bigger fridge." 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5840 I thought you WANTED a half-order! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5841 I've been looking all over for a hat like that. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5842 You called Shuber Eats? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
5843 Attenborough just won't get off my back. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5844 The vegan diet has been going well, but I don’t see it lasting much longer. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5845 Do you remora me? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5846 Remora! I’m sick of remora! 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5847 This surfer is going for a new record. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5848 I gave him my word that he will be able to keep his head above water level... 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5849 Ate half. Are you hungry for the rest? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5850 ‘ i wouldn’t bother, i hear they’re high in cholesterol’ 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5851 It helps loosen up my back muscles. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5852 2 more sessions and I'll be good as new" " I told you to stay away from those rip currents 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5853 This was your branding idea for a calmer, gentler species; now can we make him disappear? 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5854 You've got to give me a holiday, I'm breaking my back here! 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5855 I'll flip him, you catch. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5856 And we've still got a little old woman, a little old man, a barn full of threshers, a field full of mowers, a cow and a pig. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5857 I know, but he says it's a casting interview. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5858 He ain't heavy, he's my brother-in-law. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5859 He's all yours if I can leave early tomorrow. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5860 Stop. This is just my side hustle. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5861 I know but I don't like to eat between meals. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5862 I 'm no longer practicing law. I'm trying Uber for a while. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5863 You can have this one, he's not heavy enough for me. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5864 I'm hoping the resistance training will help my vertical leap. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5865 I feel the urge to scratch, but lack the appendages to make it happen. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5866 It's called "shurfing" and I don't like it one bit. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5867 He’s just hitching a ride. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5868 What do you think, should we make the earth move for this clueless guy? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5869 Sssssh. Don't disturb our Dinner. He is drunk 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5870 Climate change and the Uber strike provided an opportunity...doo doo doo doo doo doo! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5871 It's not scratchy enough. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5872 Well, why on Earth would you suggest standing desks? 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5873 It’s kind of like a back rub. I don’t think he’d be tasty anyway. Smelly feet. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5874 "It's like Uber, but for fish 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5875 They pay me in sushi so it's a good deal. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5876 It's called 47 Meters Down. It's a typical summer "shark" movie. Is it degrading? Well yes, but money's been tight, and you have to start somewhere in Hollywood. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5877 Oh yeah? Well, You step on me metaphorically everyday 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5878 Right now it's all hearts and minds. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5879 I have a case of buyer’s remora. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5880 I swear one more time he sings baby shark du doo du I will eat him up. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5881 Underwater UBER, I'm swimming back and forth anyway plus you get fisherman insurance protection. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5882 Oh, the burden of humanity 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5883 I know it's not good for me but I just can't shake it. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5884 It's a new swim-share called UNDR. It helps pay the bills. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5885 You’ve never heard of an Ottoman shark? 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5886 Someday they'll discover there's no such thing as a sandbar 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5887 you know?... everybody needs its own realm of dignity! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5888 And what's worse, there's no tipping. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5889 In the absence of playing cards, this is the only way I could come up with to to play Oklahoma Forehead. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5890 Oh my gosh Carol, these dry heels are killing me! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5891 He can't swim but says I'm definitely lactose intolerant. Does that really mean I can't eat meat? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5892 You ordered dark meat! 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5893 He says he's not ready to jump. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5894 Yes, I get tired of it...but a deal is a deal. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5895 It's a new ride service. The pay isn't great, but there is always food on the table. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5896 I'm getting half of his Speedo endorsement. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5897 He likes to think he's protecting us against Quint. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5898 You see son, this is what happens when "Shark Attacks" go down. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5899 do you think I should eat him now, or should I wait for him to fatten up? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5900 He said he is looking for the site of a new movie. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5901 No way! But you can have the wings and breasts. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5902 Wanna come watch the swimmers when the two of us hit the beach? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5903 Do I look like a Carpet Shark to you? 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5904 Sometimes I regret reading Kant. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5905 You can also tip me in-app. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5906 As a second job, being a Scuber driver is good for the cash but pretty humiliating 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5907 Well Jack, Hume In-n-Out only had legs left. They were out of torsos....... Again! 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5908 It's kinda like a Lyft gig, I run him over to Martha's Vineyard, hang around the beach for awhile, pick him up at 5:00 and take him back home. The only difference is, I eat him on the way back . 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5909 He says that he is just along for the ride. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
5910 I'm going to brutally maim this bastard on top of me....friggen savage 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5911 Have you heard of Unter? It's like Uber, but for fish. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5912 I know, Walter, I know. Just let these burdens roll off my shoulders! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5913 I already ate the last guy’s legs, Greg. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5914 He's like a horse-whisperer but for sharks. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5915 We're running low on toothpicks. Do you want this one? 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5916 baby shark, more like "annoyed shark doo, doo, do, do, do, doo" 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5917 It’s my version of the bite squad. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5918 OK, but I get the top half. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5919 You can eat the bottom half. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5920 I’ve been promoted from a skate board to a skate shark! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5921 I don’t think he realizes Seaworld is just a show 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5922 We met at a vegetarian support group. I am helping him show his friends that he can walk on water. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5923 I'll flip him and we can share 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5924 It makes my back feel so much better. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5925 Wait...wait...OK! 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5926 Man, fuck this guy. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5927 This is gonna be jawesome! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5928 This is not my idea of surfing. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5929 Apparently seeing Trump's head & bare chest is scarier than seeing a shark fin. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5930 I'm afraid I'm gonna put my foot in my mouth. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
5931 Ahhh, shiatsu massage is my favorite. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
5932 It’s shark surfin USA. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5933 George and I just have to learn to adjust, that's all. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5934 These waters suffer from foot fungus. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5935 They’re less afraid of us since ‘Baby Shark.’ 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5936 I told you, you should have worn shorts. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5937 Pull the shorts down, it said, pant-ing. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5938 If you must know, it’s a dorsal Huck. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5939 Hey, look at this: They double as a backscratcher!" "Don't play with your food, Kevin. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5940 It’s the ‘Treading Deep Water Massage’. You have to try it, really limbers you up for attack. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5941 I was full after eating the breast and wings 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5942 I'm saving these bits till last. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5943 Get off my back Dad! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5944 He thinks he’s Aquaman and I was full. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5945 He's obviously never read The Gingerbread Man. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5946 Let's hear his pitch before we devour him. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5947 Let's wishbone him Bud! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5948 My school only serves vegan now. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5949 I'm beta testing a new combination rideshare and meal delivery service. It's called Uber Blacktip Eats. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5950 What a terrible weight on my back! Can you bite him please? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5951 I've got to stop being an Uber driver in my spare time... 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5952 My wife is making me try this vegetarian thing... 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5953 Would you prefer the top half or the bottom half ? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5954 Now I'm looking for something to top it off. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5955 I’ve always wanted to “hang ten,” but I’ve never been able to resist eating them. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5956 Oprah's giving everyone a piece. You want a leg or a wing? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5957 Can you do it? I don't have the heart to tell him. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5958 Honey, not vegetarian tonight. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5959 What ever you do don’t make any sudden movements 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5960 We can eat after the message is done. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5961 I get the middle part. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5962 I was already depressed. Now this idiot's treating me like I'm an underwater uber! Bite me,Georgie. Just bite me! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5963 I dunno, man - sometimes it's just too easy. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5964 And then they wonder why we attach. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5965 What with Ubereats and Grubhub, I can’t compete. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5966 Are you ready for lunch? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5967 Contrary to what people believe, it's not easy being a shark! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5968 We have a fee-sharing arrangement. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5969 Uber. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5970 Is he worth attacking? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5971 I'm building my social media presence. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5972 Going vegan is really killing my mojo! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5973 I'll bet you a fin I could throw him off. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5974 I Know ! I know !! He is too skinny. I hired him to find me dinner. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5975 I can't stand humans but they can sure stand me. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5976 Hurry up to the water-sports center, such smorgas-boards are their new thing" 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5977 Buzz off -- he's on the lookout for fish. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5978 Shark:" Sorry Jeff! Shark Uber is the latest boat transportation!" 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5979 They taste better if a little sun-warmed. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5980 You hungry? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5981 I'm prepping ingredients for tonight's human fin soup. That's why. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5982 Give me a little time...I'm still digesting the top half! 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5983 This and with a monetary donation. I feel we need to support humans with special needs. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5984 Your DoorDash order is here. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5985 I am getting paid by Uber. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5986 Whatever happened to just plain old paddle boarding? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5987 You should really try going vegan. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5988 It’s my dorsal feet 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5989 Uber or Lyft? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5990 This shark-hailing business is killing me. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5991 Man:is this my surf board?!!! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5992 Yeah, it's professional courtesy, basically. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5993 I used to be a hammerhead, now I'm just a hammer toed shark. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5994 What does "Executive Privilege" mean? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5995 Wasn't this part of the pool deeper? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5996 I’m leaving the other half for the gulls. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5997 Always check the fine print on timeshare agreements. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
5998 It's Fonzie! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5999 See you in court. My guy will be above water. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6000 I'd jump through hoops to get back into the viewing tank. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6001 Wait, Joey, you can’t bail on the chicken fight now!!! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6002 Shall I ‘share’ him and his cranial-sacral work, with you? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6003 I am your better half! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6004 Sure, I can eat it at anytime, but the ashiatsu is worth the wait! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6005 Marinating them in salt water helps tenderize the meat. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6006 This new "ride the shark" attraction isn't eco-tourism, it's bull shark. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6007 This ride share business is for the birds. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6008 Well, you know me, he asked for a last request so I just had to. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6009 Your foot fetish is bigger than your stomach, Donald. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6010 He is not worth eating ,he is on prednisone . 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
6011 I let the last guy "walk on water" first, and then I ate him! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6012 Works better as a line in Rilke's poem. Actually standing on a fish is slippery and stinky! 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
6013 Shark Week Uber 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6014 Don't look now; there's a monkey on your back. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6015 Would you like your human raw or seared? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6016 It's take away. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6017 This new Uber pool gig isn't really working out for me. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6018 Tourists- they'll stand on anything they can find. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6019 I know, I know, but I promised my wife no more attacks 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6020 A candidate for the Darwin Award? I shouldn’t have signed up for Uber! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6021 He said just to consider him a harmless parasite and swim around a little while. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6022 I signed up for one of those SharkShare programs. The benefits are terrible but at least I make my own hours. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6023 I know. After our next America,s got Talent Performance I'm gonna eat him. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6024 I really cant believe I've been mistaken for Shamu 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6025 And we thought that eating their surfboards would make them go away... 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6026 You like drumsticks, so I saved these for you. Don Smith Repton, Alabama 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6027 The hot stones were nice, but this is just unnecessary. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6028 Who let him into the shark tank. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6029 Where does he think he is? Sea World? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6030 He's doing important research. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6031 I'm starting to drown so i might as well even him 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6032 Just earning some extra chum through Uber 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6033 This Ashiatsu massage is the only relief after working another episode of "Shark Tank" 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6034 Bite safety? Talk to Uber. They're the ones taking a bite out of ride-share compensation. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6035 Just doing some pro bono work at the latest sunami 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6036 Yea, I know it's bad for our image, but I'm vegan now. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6037 What are you lookin’ at, you never heard of Uber? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6038 How could I say ‘no’ to Mark Cuban? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6039 You've lost your mascot! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6040 They don't get that the plastic isn't the real problem. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6041 I would but skin bones isn’t worth the effort 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6042 A snack just in case. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6043 It's this gig economy. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6044 He thought I was a *cart* shark! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6045 Do you want to know what's more annoying than being attached to a suckerfish? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6046 I like to give back before I take. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6047 Wha-da-ya say we each take a leg and play Wishbone? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6048 ALL VISITORS: "For the well-being of our marine life, please remove your shoes before entering tank." 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6049 Hey, it might look like I'm not a killer anymore but the foot massages this dude gives are the best. The best, I tell you. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6050 Roadpop... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6051 He's thinking either shoes or a suit. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6052 I felt bad-I chomped his surfboard in half 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6053 humans always pretend they can swim 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6054 Ashiatsu back walking massage really relieves the tightness in my back. Hard to find a therapist willing to do it in water though. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6055 Actually, my appetite has been a bit off lately... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6056 Oh no! Mr. Wonderful? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6057 I hate it when he digs his toes in. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6058 This Ride-a-Shark business is really cramping my style! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6059 Didn't you get my message...it's BYO lunch this week! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6060 I keep getting supporting roles, like Jaw’s younger goofy brother. I could of been a contender. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6061 It's like Uber for the ocean. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6062 We can't. He's a corporate lawyer and he's family. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6063 Somebody this stupid can't taste good! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6064 It’s called “Drown the Shark” 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6065 Remoras are just so passé. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6066 I always try to get a massage when I swim to Bangkok 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6067 After we do the film...well..."Sharky" might have to get his just desserts...if they try to pay off in jumbo shrimp. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6068 I've been eating the Impossible Surfer and now I've lost the taste for the real thing. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6069 If I dive I want half 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6070 I'm up for the next Sharknado movie, that's why!! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6071 I would eat him, but he bribed me not to... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6072 He thinks he is waist deep, wanna see total hysteria, then you can have him, I do owe you one. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6073 Getting their feet wet with their showboating ecotourism is killing my back—not to mention the environment. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6074 ....you laugh but its like Hello Fresh for busy on the go sea carnivores, they deliver it right to you. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6075 I know, I know, but I’m trying to improve my image with those guys! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6076 Just between you and me, I think he needs a different boat. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6077 With regular accupressure treatments, I'm able to thrash without back pain. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6078 He thinks I’m rubber 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6079 Can't join you, Larry. I work for Uber now. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6080 I've taken up surfing. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6081 He's mine - from here it's just a flip and a gulp. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6082 Get off my fin, doo doo doo doo doo doo. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6083 Sometimes dinner just really weighs me down. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6084 I recommend the thighs. 1.0417 0.04167 48 47 0 1
6085 Surfer beaches are more trouble than they're worth. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6086 He says he’s the apex predator. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6087 I bet the stupid doctor put me on the low fat diet just so he can hog all the good food . 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6088 Mako? No. Macho. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6089 My rating's at 4.6 stars and it helps with my herniated disc. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6090 I let him live if he agreed to them the water was safe. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6091 Jumped my shark.. :( 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6092 Uber Eats with your Italian. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6093 ...and I just went on a vegan diet. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6094 What? I could only eat a half portion. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6095 He's mine; I found him first! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6096 Dinner or foot massage? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6097 This is the best bait I've ever used! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6098 He's getting ready to jump over us, again and again. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6099 His other half is in my stomach. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6100 It's a gig economy... things are changing fast. You better keep up. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6101 You know the old saying, shark eat shark” 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6102 No, let's pull his pants down... Then eat him. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6103 With global warming and rising seas, I’ve decided to stay ahead of the curve... I call it SharkLyft! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6104 Why do I always have to carry the heavy load? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6105 Shall we flip for it? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6106 Jerry had a key lime pie instead of a wedding cake 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6107 ' I gotta new job as a loan shark' 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6108 Please help me. There’s something not fishy about this weight! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6109 I'm working for Lyft now. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6110 Just doing a little bit to help with global climate change problems. He's changing the torch light in the Statue of Liberty. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6111 I believe in a balanced diet and he is surface to requirements. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6112 It's the warm spots that piss me off. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6113 I just can't bring myself to correct him. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6114 I still can't believe we let them bring the gig economy to the ocean... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6115 When they said "Shark Tank" I never expected to be on TV. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6116 Don't go there yet, obviously he thinks he's on a surfboard. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6117 I blame this kind of boldness on Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6118 They call it chicken. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6119 I'd much rather be a 'fish out of water' at this point. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6120 What I won't do to make it on Shark Week 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6121 -Shark Walk- “Risking your Shame, by Brene Brown.” 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6122 I already ate,but I couldn't stand watching him try to swim. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6123 Do I swallow him whole or only what I can see. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6124 No, your first bite should be his knees. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6125 No idea. He booked me with an app, apparently. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6126 They eliminated the whole 'jumping part' at orientation... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6127 It's your turn! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6128 I hate humans 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6129 And I swear I can hear him humming "Mack the Knife." 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6130 Don't ask, it's a deal we made. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6131 His trust has changed me from a predator to a support shark! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6132 Feet are food, not friends! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6133 I just hope my headache heels soon. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6134 If I wasn’t so full and ate the bottom half, I wouldn’t be in this position. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6135 Just waiting for the other half to fall. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6136 I saw it on the "Jeffersons". It really does feel good. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6137 I'm watching my weight. So I ate half earlier and I'll finish off the rest this evening. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6138 I never eat below the waist. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6139 Guess what we are having for lunch? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6140 I was hungry and Disney bought my rights for a couple of mackerel. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6141 I’m tired of the people encroaching in our space. We need to have a BarBQ! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6142 He sure looks better, than the surfboard I just ate! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6143 Ever have an itch you just can’t scratch? Tanya Braganti, Marblehead, MA 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6144 It gives new meaning to the term, 'Sharkbait.'" 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6145 Hey Ben... new hat? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6146 He promised to let me know if there are any jellyfish around 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6147 It's a gig economy out there and he needed a lift! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6148 It’s foot-on-head disease, a precursor to foot-in-mouth disease. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6149 He's much lighter since somebody ate his top. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6150 Get lost, I'm chumming for a bigger fish than you! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6151 OK..I’ ll toss him, you catch him and we’ll do lunch 1.0417 0.04167 48 47 0 1
6152 He thinks he is surfing! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6153 He is too skinny; I want to wait for a fatter prey. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6154 You need to eat your whole meal before you swim away! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6155 surfboard shark...doo doo doo doo 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6156 Working for Lyft has its drawbacks. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6157 I'm also on Lyft. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6158 I promised his mother I would chew off his ankles for the 1st half hour after he eats. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6159 I can let you have this guy NOW, pay me back 3 on Sunday. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6160 It's easier than goat yoga. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6161 Apparently, they pay extra. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6162 He's been standing on me all day...how long until I can eat him? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6163 Of course I support those Uber drivers,but a guy's got to make a living. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6164 Would you please eat at least one of his legs? I promise to share the rest of him. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6165 Finding someone to give house call massages is harder than you think. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6166 He has a new business model he wants to show us. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6167 Bite his dick off! 1.0417 0.04167 48 47 0 1
6168 I”am teaching him shark surfing 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6169 Sorry, dear. I was the closet ride. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6170 Don't look at me. I'm hideous. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6171 He thinks he's touched bottom and I haven't the heart to disillusion him. Your go. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6172 Excuse me, is this 1943 Jaws Avenue? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6173 I’m getting tired of this surfer dude, dude, dude, do, do, do, do. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6174 His board? I dunno,"cept now I have to take him in 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6175 Nah — don’t like the texture and tastes kinda gamey. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6176 I saved this one for a late night snack. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6177 How's does my new hat look ? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6178 I already told him he’s out of his head. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6179 Ya oooh yum dessert 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6180 Any ideas about how to get rid of back pain? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6181 Well I'm no megalodon and I don't have shoulders, but I think he is seeing further, why? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6182 Corporate Attorney! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6183 He was an easy catch. And at lunchtime, I'll do a backflip and eat. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6184 I guess it beats rolling a rock up a hill. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6185 I volunteer with Oceana. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6186 i`m his handler for the terra firma world exhibit 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6187 You should try it. It does wonders for back pain with the added bonus of a tasty snack. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6188 Let me introduce myself... I am a hammertoe head shark 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6189 Offer him 10% participation. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6190 STOP HOVERING — you’ll get lunch after my massage 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6191 Too many options... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6192 They’re getting so close to shore that I’m terrified to even go in the water. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6193 I'm gonna dump this guy if he doesn't cut his toenails. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6194 No more pink mustaches, but I'm still an independent contractor. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6195 One, Two, Three....... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6196 I know our ratings are down, but that jump-the-shark publicity stunt was a desperate measure. And now we have a standing invitation to deal with? Talk about overkill! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6197 I didn't realize it was an Uber Pool so now I've got to go pick up another dude. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6198 Once I get the vest, we can fly, he says. 1.0417 0.04167 48 47 0 1
6199 We're trying to economize, so I've decided to bring lunch from home 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6200 It beats fishing for a living, but I wish they’d keep their toe nails clipped. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6201 This is no seal, Bill. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6202 It's the new under-water shiatsu. They won't bite. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6203 He complained that Uber costs an arm and a leg, so I'm only charging him a leg. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6204 The wife said she wanted to fix the den, so I said I’d Uber to raise some cash. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6205 When the bottom drops out you have ten seconds to neutralize him. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6206 It's Mr. Kintner....Isn't it?" 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6207 He said he had to change a light bulb. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6208 This is taking detente too far. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6209 Bruce, what on your mind for dinner? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6210 This will be as easy as shooting humans in a barrel 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6211 The sand here is even softer than in the Bahamas! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6212 Online dating has me feeling used... 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6213 I think we're going to need a bigger human. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6214 Some I drive. Some I deliver. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6215 And that's only the half of it! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6216 I hate to sound so 80's but can we do lunch? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6217 It’s better a pain in the back than a pain in the Jaws 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6218 He got tired of surfboarding. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6219 He's on the lookout for Jaws 4. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6220 He said he'll take me out for shrimp later if I help him just this once. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6221 This standoff is aboveboard. It's clearly not bait-and-switch. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6222 Sometimes I just don't bother. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6223 It's called a "lure" and yes, it was "as seen on TV". 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6224 Its's only fair. You got the first half. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6225 Yeah, I finally became a ScUber driver. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6226 When did you switch from Uber to Lyft? Sigute Miller, Valley Village, CA 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6227 You like it? Made 'er myself last weekend, the red-shorted bronzeskins usually bite hard this time of year. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
6228 It's just until I can afford an aardvark. Burp! I'm a shark. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6229 It’s called Uber Ocean. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6230 He's a lawyer. We're pals. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6231 Let's see how long he has his legs once I flip him over. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6232 He said he's a podiatrist testing some new exfoliation treatment. Can you eat him, I can't reach.... 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6233 Steven is really going the lengths for this movie. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6234 It's the newest in the underwater massage! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6235 I've been having these weird cravings lately... 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6236 I'm trying to eat low-fat. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6237 He’s taking the “stand your ground” law pretty seriously. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6238 Just give it a week, and there will be enough for everyone. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6239 This is just my side hustle. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6240 I'm trying to be more environmentally friendly. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6241 Uber is gonna have to offer better insurance, because this is getting ridiculous. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6242 Where's a humpback when you need one 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6243 He keeps saying, "Don't stop moving." 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6244 If I can help somebody, my living will not be in vain. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6245 I got this idea from the finless ones. I'm using this scrawny one to lure a big one into the water. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6246 I missed, and ate his Boogie board instead. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6247 It's an event that will bring new life to the summer olympics! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6248 This is how Bruce got his start 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6249 You want to share some athlete's foot? 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6250 I'm just waiting till he 'hangs ten.' Then the fun begins. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6251 I told you, stay away from the shore, these humans are dangerous. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6252 "He's a plaintiff's attorney looking for a new case." 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6253 If you use my referral code, we'll both get a bonus. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6254 It really irks me to be walked on like somebody's surfboard. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6255 My yogi told me ashiatsu would realign my chakras in time for the equinox. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6256 I might take an arm, maybe a leg, but good golly Mr. Wonderful, I was on Dancing with the Stars. You know. Brand recognition. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6257 He wants a ride to the island. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6258 I signed up at UberForTourists.com to pick up a little extra snacks 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6259 You get hungry sometimes, but that's food delivery for you. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6260 It's supposed to be another kind of remora. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6261 It allows me to attack without exposing my dorsal fin. Joe Souvignier, Colorado Springs, Colorado 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6262 And you thought suckerfish were bad. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6263 The royal we? More like the royal symbiosis 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6264 Wait... I want to know what happens at the end of this story 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6265 I tell you he swore he was going to jump. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6266 He promised if I let him do this for a day he 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6267 I saw Shamu do this once! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6268 Shark Yoga 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6269 Hey, it's not baiting, it's waiting. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6270 He had a shark themed surfboard. It's a win-win situation. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6271 Do we tell him I'm not a reef? Or do I just toss him in the air and we both make a go at taking a bite of him? 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6272 I warned The Fonz. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6273 my nickname is buoyancy 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6274 Jesus hired meB 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6275 It's my penance for eating too many baby seals! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6276 I'm not hungry yet so I've just been trading up. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6277 I'd rather snack than shark-boarding. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6278 This is NOT what I meant by a loan. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6279 Hey can we talk?" I have got something on my mind. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6280 Don’t judge...it’s fake. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6281 It’s Steven Spielberg, I don’t know what I should do ! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6282 The tuba player is on break... 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6283 "He's a goober who thinks he's on Uber." 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6284 They call it “Uber”! 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6285 A day in the life of the Mueller shark. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6286 I got trunk fever. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6287 When they hired me to ensure the water polo team would win, this was not what I had in mind. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6288 They promise they’ll feature me in the next documentary. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6289 Payback to the Shark Conservancy 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6290 Blue waveshark 2020 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6291 Ever since Katy Perry’s half time show, the left shark seems to get more respect. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6292 Apparently, you’ve earned yourself quite the reputation. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6293 Loading... 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6294 Welcome to the gig economy. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
6295 We all have to do our part in the gig economy, right? 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
6296 Another day, another topless beach. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6297 Shark bait oh-ha-ha 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6298 They call it survival of the fittest 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6299 I'm a top half only guy. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6300 No, I'm a hydro-fool, that's what I am. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6301 Agreed, and we can give the crafties a break. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6302 I know he looks tasty, but now I make a killing with Uber. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6303 She's scratching my back in a place I cannot reach. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6304 I'm getting pretty tired of being a doormat for the homo sapiens! 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6305 We want to speed off and he wants to speed off but, why can’t he ask nicely ? 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6306 We're having Geisha for dinner. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6307 He thinks swimming with the dolphins will clear up the mystery of life. But standing? Not so much. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6308 Care for the first bite? 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6309 He's looking for an island. I support him on this. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6310 wouldn't you know, another back-packing student , touring on five dollars a day.'' 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6311 I'm wai 1.0000 0.02469 41 41 0 0
6312 I decided to try out this Uber thing for awhile 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6313 Disneys new Reverse-boot “The large Terrestrial Man” 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
6314 He's doing such a great job massaging my back with his feet that I'm seriously considering not eating him. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0