These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2019-06-02T21:25:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2019-06-23T21:27:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2019-06-17T21:25:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | June 24, 2019 |
Number of captions | 6315 |
Number of responses | 1501739 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Lunch is on me. | 2.5183 | 0.00409 | 25200 | 2183 | 7784 | 15232 |
1 | Dinner's on ME. | 2.2585 | 0.00534 | 19463 | 3538 | 7356 | 8565 |
2 | Dinner’s on me tonight. | 2.1747 | 0.00632 | 14294 | 3045 | 5707 | 5542 |
3 | He’s telling his friends it’s not deep. So be patient. | 2.1645 | 0.00562 | 19271 | 4575 | 6960 | 7735 |
4 | I didn't know what you were serving, so I brought white. | 2.0975 | 0.00638 | 15916 | 4490 | 5398 | 6028 |
5 | Fresh? Sir, I assure you these were walking on land this morning. | 2.0654 | 0.00675 | 13820 | 3925 | 5066 | 4829 |
6 | A back massage and then dinner. What's not to like? | 2.0404 | 0.00600 | 17205 | 5019 | 6483 | 5701 |
7 | It’s like a good wine. You let it breathe before consuming it. | 2.0217 | 0.00647 | 14856 | 4462 | 5612 | 4782 |
8 | I brought dinner. | 2.0124 | 0.00606 | 15752 | 4484 | 6597 | 4670 |
9 | It's carryout. | 1.9885 | 0.00678 | 13073 | 4007 | 5209 | 3857 |
10 | Off Coney Island. There's thousands of them. | 1.9805 | 0.00712 | 11921 | 3719 | 4715 | 3487 |
11 | I’m letting him sunburn a bit more, I prefer extra crispy. | 1.9802 | 0.00654 | 14157 | 4455 | 5536 | 4166 |
12 | Once I gave him a name I didn’t have the heart to eat him. | 1.9516 | 0.00693 | 12651 | 4178 | 4912 | 3561 |
13 | Eat a guy and you'll be full. Use him as bait and we'll all be full. | 1.9483 | 0.00694 | 13229 | 4583 | 4750 | 3896 |
14 | I got us a politician. There is no backbone ! | 1.9447 | 0.01016 | 6732 | 2533 | 2038 | 2161 |
15 | I used to feel sorry for them, but this one is wearing a MAGA hat. | 1.9346 | 0.00851 | 9890 | 3883 | 2771 | 3236 |
16 | I swear, it is like the universe does not want me to stay vegan. | 1.9323 | 0.00805 | 9717 | 3411 | 3553 | 2753 |
17 | Lucky for him this is the last thing on his bucket list. | 1.9239 | 0.00729 | 11759 | 4194 | 4277 | 3285 |
18 | You want the other half? | 1.8955 | 0.00780 | 9927 | 3568 | 3828 | 2531 |
19 | It's part of this whole shore-to-table thing. | 1.8952 | 0.01048 | 5651 | 2079 | 2085 | 1487 |
20 | He has a name, Dad. It's Greg. And I love him. | 1.8950 | 0.00813 | 10094 | 3975 | 3214 | 2905 |
21 | When I get hungry, or he realizes I'm not a dolphin, whichever comes first! | 1.8942 | 0.00902 | 7436 | 2682 | 2859 | 1895 |
22 | And I suppose you've never played with your food. | 1.8617 | 0.00778 | 9557 | 3520 | 3838 | 2197 |
23 | He’s paying an arm and a leg for the ride. | 1.8537 | 0.00885 | 7956 | 3145 | 2830 | 1981 |
24 | He' s my emotional support animal. | 1.8518 | 0.00808 | 9738 | 3957 | 3278 | 2501 |
25 | If you liked our food delivery service, please give me 5 stars. | 1.8496 | 0.00781 | 10017 | 3975 | 3593 | 2448 |
26 | My treat. | 1.8466 | 0.01595 | 2340 | 903 | 893 | 544 |
27 | I was told we had to bring our own lunch. | 1.8284 | 0.00734 | 10222 | 3867 | 4251 | 2103 |
28 | So we each grab a leg and make a wish. | 1.8279 | 0.00994 | 6503 | 2746 | 2130 | 1627 |
29 | How did these things ever make it to the top of the food chain? | 1.8074 | 0.01408 | 3183 | 1369 | 1058 | 756 |
30 | Professional courtesy....he’s a lawyer. | 1.8037 | 0.00838 | 9139 | 4016 | 2903 | 2218 |
31 | I'm letting him take one last selfie. | 1.8008 | 0.00818 | 8829 | 3671 | 3250 | 1908 |
32 | Jump up and yell, 'I'm that goldfish you flushed!' And then we'll eat him." | 1.7975 | 0.01035 | 6137 | 2764 | 1850 | 1522 |
33 | Yes, I KNOW I'm holding up dinner. | 1.7816 | 0.00971 | 6428 | 2804 | 2224 | 1400 |
34 | Last time I ate one this stupid, I was sick for a week. | 1.7801 | 0.00824 | 9028 | 3997 | 3026 | 2004 |
35 | He's never seen the movie | 1.7695 | 0.00976 | 6170 | 2687 | 2218 | 1265 |
36 | Well, that's embarrassing. How long has it been there? | 1.7610 | 0.01046 | 5565 | 2517 | 1861 | 1187 |
37 | Seems only fair , I ate his surfboard. | 1.7504 | 0.01113 | 4591 | 2021 | 1695 | 875 |
38 | This is why they think most shark attacks occur in only three feet of water. | 1.7490 | 0.01073 | 5176 | 2363 | 1752 | 1061 |
39 | You go ahead, Frank. SPF 30 gives me heartburn. | 1.7482 | 0.01057 | 5007 | 2205 | 1864 | 938 |
40 | ‘Hold off a bit. He’s bragging about being “king of the sandbar” to four guys in backwards ball caps.’ | 1.7434 | 0.00955 | 6438 | 2945 | 2207 | 1286 |
41 | Another Darwin Award winner. | 1.7245 | 0.01161 | 4625 | 2255 | 1389 | 981 |
42 | Found him in the shallow end of gene pool. | 1.7210 | 0.01190 | 4408 | 2162 | 1314 | 932 |
43 | He’s locally sourced, and most importantly, cage free! | 1.7207 | 0.01476 | 2764 | 1333 | 874 | 557 |
44 | Soon, he won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.7193 | 0.00872 | 7803 | 3730 | 2538 | 1535 |
45 | I just can’t do it without the theme music.” | 1.7053 | 0.01141 | 4344 | 2056 | 1512 | 776 |
46 | Remember when Mom read us that story about how the fox tricked the Gingerbread Man and you said nobody could be that stupid? | 1.7025 | 0.01377 | 3045 | 1467 | 1017 | 561 |
47 | When I go low, you go high. | 1.7003 | 0.01605 | 2272 | 1107 | 739 | 426 |
48 | Just be patient. He’s calling his friends. | 1.6990 | 0.00994 | 5442 | 2537 | 2009 | 896 |
49 | Oh, did you want me to pick up something for you, too? | 1.6816 | 0.00897 | 6577 | 3131 | 2413 | 1033 |
50 | I love a well-balanced meal, don't you? | 1.6710 | 0.01128 | 4413 | 2211 | 1446 | 756 |
51 | Let's wait another sec, . . . he still thinks he's on his buddy's shoulders. | 1.6679 | 0.03200 | 542 | 270 | 182 | 90 |
52 | Your order is ready, sir... | 1.6678 | 0.01919 | 1466 | 720 | 513 | 233 |
53 | Luckily the dumb ones taste just as good. | 1.6656 | 0.01195 | 3881 | 1947 | 1287 | 647 |
54 | First, I gain their trust. | 1.6638 | 0.01085 | 4515 | 2214 | 1605 | 696 |
55 | Trust me. This makes it easier to get all the others into the water. | 1.6632 | 0.01088 | 4412 | 2146 | 1606 | 660 |
56 | He still thinks I'm Flipper. | 1.6577 | 0.02035 | 1370 | 703 | 433 | 234 |
57 | Hey, Sam, I’d like you to meet my chum. | 1.6561 | 0.01084 | 4926 | 2585 | 1459 | 882 |
58 | On one hand, we have a reputation to uphold. On the other hand, this shiatsu foot massage really feels good. | 1.6543 | 0.01547 | 2181 | 1076 | 783 | 322 |
59 | Do you want to see what a big surprise looks like? | 1.6466 | 0.02307 | 1061 | 553 | 330 | 178 |
60 | The guy at the bait shop said this could get us a couple lifeguards. | 1.6407 | 0.01467 | 2622 | 1393 | 787 | 442 |
61 | To be honest, I'm thinking of giving up this Uber thing. | 1.6321 | 0.01606 | 2207 | 1183 | 653 | 371 |
62 | How about some help carrying the groceries? | 1.6273 | 0.01172 | 3823 | 1987 | 1275 | 560 |
63 | He ain’t heavy, he’s my breakfast. | 1.6272 | 0.01783 | 1835 | 1007 | 506 | 322 |
64 | I ordered him sunny side up. | 1.6263 | 0.01740 | 1817 | 966 | 564 | 287 |
65 | Fine, but walking him is your responsibility. | 1.6239 | 0.01442 | 2587 | 1365 | 830 | 392 |
66 | Watch this. I'm going to flip it up and catch it in my mouth. | 1.6166 | 0.01248 | 3461 | 1850 | 1088 | 523 |
67 | When he says "Marco," they all say "Polo,' and then we eat. | 1.6083 | 0.01605 | 2211 | 1232 | 613 | 366 |
68 | He thinks I'm Flipper, who's Flipper? | 1.6072 | 0.01199 | 3887 | 2150 | 1114 | 623 |
69 | I found this mannequin in some ocean trash. It allows me to get closer to shore without alarming my lunch. | 1.5966 | 0.02604 | 813 | 454 | 233 | 126 |
70 | I still don't see why the dolphins get such a kick out of this. | 1.5923 | 0.01521 | 2168 | 1166 | 720 | 282 |
71 | Isn't it time we told him he's adopted? | 1.5921 | 0.01463 | 2618 | 1496 | 702 | 420 |
72 | Let’s split the Bill | 1.5900 | 0.01302 | 3107 | 1719 | 944 | 444 |
73 | So much for them having a bigger brain. | 1.5836 | 0.01397 | 2733 | 1534 | 803 | 396 |
74 | Guess who's coming to dinner? | 1.5822 | 0.02692 | 742 | 419 | 214 | 109 |
75 | Excuse me. Do you have any Grey Poupon? | 1.5807 | 0.01520 | 2368 | 1352 | 657 | 359 |
76 | One on the fin is worth two on the beach. | 1.5794 | 0.01907 | 1410 | 785 | 434 | 191 |
77 | Ability to delay gratification correlates with higher SAT scores and greater success later in life. | 1.5790 | 0.01917 | 1430 | 803 | 426 | 201 |
78 | Are you the one who ordered takeout? | 1.5786 | 0.01273 | 2983 | 1614 | 1012 | 357 |
79 | Shhh! He's looking out for sharks. | 1.5785 | 0.01454 | 2420 | 1346 | 749 | 325 |
80 | I’m a certified support animal. | 1.5769 | 0.02205 | 1106 | 630 | 314 | 162 |
81 | OK, you call it - Heads or Tails? | 1.5755 | 0.01375 | 2770 | 1570 | 809 | 391 |
82 | You're more likely to be struck by lightning than be stepped on by a human. | 1.5753 | 0.01606 | 2119 | 1220 | 579 | 320 |
83 | Professional courtesy. Personal injury lawyer. | 1.5741 | 0.02377 | 951 | 544 | 268 | 139 |
84 | I raise my own. It’s the only way to know they’re organic. | 1.5740 | 0.01441 | 2500 | 1413 | 741 | 346 |
85 | Can we keep him, Mom? Please? | 1.5739 | 0.01475 | 2347 | 1312 | 723 | 312 |
86 | This one's a decoy. We get the real ones when they come out to rescue it. | 1.5729 | 0.01745 | 1700 | 958 | 510 | 232 |
87 | Shhh...he thinks I'm a dolphin. | 1.5724 | 0.01262 | 3024 | 1665 | 991 | 367 |
88 | I would have eaten him, but I'm finally getting WiFi. | 1.5723 | 0.01431 | 2593 | 1480 | 742 | 371 |
89 | It's from that new take-out place under the pier. | 1.5710 | 0.01719 | 1725 | 968 | 529 | 228 |
90 | Want the other half? | 1.5686 | 0.03821 | 357 | 203 | 105 | 49 |
91 | Shall we just split an order? | 1.5675 | 0.01387 | 2520 | 1391 | 828 | 301 |
92 | I thought he was a seal, he thought I was a surf board. | 1.5672 | 0.01412 | 2530 | 1422 | 781 | 327 |
93 | It's Hilarious. He thinks I'm a dolphin. | 1.5659 | 0.01438 | 2405 | 1346 | 757 | 302 |
94 | It seems rude to interrupt while he’s on the phone. | 1.5649 | 0.01662 | 1880 | 1075 | 548 | 257 |
95 | I just think it's a bad idea to eat something this stupid. | 1.5627 | 0.01516 | 2257 | 1302 | 643 | 312 |
96 | It's Donald. We don't eat our own. | 1.5611 | 0.02321 | 1080 | 655 | 244 | 181 |
97 | Definitely a keeper! I'd guess about a 180 pounder. | 1.5549 | 0.01761 | 1631 | 937 | 483 | 211 |
98 | If he's gonna have kids as smart as he is, it makes more sense to release him. | 1.5540 | 0.01820 | 1583 | 925 | 439 | 219 |
99 | I ordered wings but they gave me legs instead. | 1.5471 | 0.01761 | 1656 | 970 | 466 | 220 |
100 | Heard it’s Trump ... we could become hero’s! | 1.5404 | 0.01925 | 1558 | 972 | 330 | 256 |
101 | I can't go anywhere without a snack | 1.5390 | 0.01944 | 1245 | 712 | 395 | 138 |
102 | I'm going to be on the evening news. | 1.5378 | 0.01683 | 1748 | 1023 | 510 | 215 |
103 | wait till he finds out I'm not his surf board. | 1.5363 | 0.01698 | 1667 | 976 | 492 | 199 |
104 | I'm seventy years old and I'll play with my food if I want to. | 1.5349 | 0.01818 | 1535 | 912 | 425 | 198 |
105 | I brought you a snack. | 1.5343 | 0.02864 | 627 | 375 | 169 | 83 |
106 | He had a standing reservation for dinner. | 1.5320 | 0.01864 | 1483 | 891 | 395 | 197 |
107 | The weirdest part is that the water above me keeps randomly getting warm | 1.5310 | 0.02013 | 1324 | 811 | 323 | 190 |
108 | I decided to go with carry out. | 1.5292 | 0.01698 | 1591 | 923 | 497 | 171 |
109 | We have a deal. He tells everyone else it’s safe and I don’t eat him. | 1.5272 | 0.02191 | 994 | 588 | 289 | 116 |
110 | I’m trying to eat a more balanced diet. | 1.5270 | 0.01830 | 1410 | 824 | 429 | 157 |
111 | No thanks. I brought my lunch. | 1.5245 | 0.02091 | 1083 | 636 | 326 | 121 |
112 | It's a new ridesharing company I started. I call it Scuber." | 1.5228 | 0.02020 | 1251 | 760 | 328 | 163 |
113 | Yeah it's a Great White | 1.5219 | 0.02640 | 709 | 428 | 193 | 88 |
114 | Millennials act so entitled. | 1.5209 | 0.01931 | 1363 | 829 | 358 | 176 |
115 | Of all my anger management exercises, this one is the most difficult | 1.5169 | 0.01999 | 1184 | 704 | 348 | 132 |
116 | I read that its best to let meat rest before consuming it. | 1.5157 | 0.02115 | 1049 | 623 | 311 | 115 |
117 | He's my therapy human. | 1.5153 | 0.02062 | 1176 | 717 | 312 | 147 |
118 | Of course I’ll eat him, but in the meantime I just love the foot massage. | 1.5136 | 0.01956 | 1217 | 723 | 363 | 131 |
119 | Sometimes it's just too easy. | 1.5135 | 0.02012 | 1221 | 743 | 329 | 149 |
120 | Honey, I brought dinner! | 1.5131 | 0.01948 | 1218 | 727 | 359 | 131 |
121 | He’s a rescue. | 1.5112 | 0.02039 | 1115 | 664 | 332 | 119 |
122 | Did you already eat yours? | 1.5098 | 0.02062 | 1124 | 679 | 317 | 128 |
123 | I am the fin beneath his things. | 1.5092 | 0.02478 | 874 | 554 | 195 | 125 |
124 | Don’t bite.My back has never felt so good. | 1.5072 | 0.02010 | 1116 | 662 | 342 | 112 |
125 | I liked it better when they were afraid of us. | 1.5062 | 0.02251 | 883 | 523 | 273 | 87 |
126 | I work for UberEats now. | 1.5042 | 0.02120 | 1069 | 653 | 293 | 123 |
127 | This one’s on me. | 1.5038 | 0.02126 | 1048 | 637 | 294 | 117 |
128 | He's a loan shark-it's a professional courtesy." | 1.5005 | 0.02195 | 1015 | 628 | 266 | 121 |
129 | I accidentally looked up his trunks... totally lost my appetite. | 1.5000 | 0.02754 | 700 | 448 | 154 | 98 |
130 | I thought we'd get take out and watch a movie. | 1.4974 | 0.02481 | 770 | 473 | 211 | 86 |
131 | I wish I had a blowhole. | 1.4968 | 0.02502 | 789 | 493 | 200 | 96 |
132 | He’s only just temporarily on top of the food chain. | 1.4964 | 0.02225 | 963 | 594 | 260 | 109 |
133 | Yes, I could dive, but I think surfacing would be more interesting. | 1.4955 | 0.02251 | 886 | 535 | 263 | 88 |
134 | Another 20 minutes and he’ll be medium rare. | 1.4953 | 0.02169 | 955 | 577 | 283 | 95 |
135 | Don't say anything, he just told all his friends that he's tall enough to reach the bottom. | 1.4947 | 0.02119 | 936 | 560 | 292 | 84 |
136 | 'It takes a lot of self control, but I am getting a great massage.' | 1.4931 | 0.03522 | 361 | 221 | 103 | 37 |
137 | I love the look in their eyes when they realize they're not standing on the bottom. | 1.4928 | 0.02402 | 828 | 514 | 220 | 94 |
138 | It is the final exam for self control and anger management class | 1.4919 | 0.02505 | 801 | 508 | 192 | 101 |
139 | Let him get his damn selfie first. | 1.4902 | 0.03161 | 457 | 280 | 130 | 47 |
140 | It's professional courtesy, he's a lawyer. | 1.4893 | 0.02547 | 746 | 468 | 191 | 87 |
141 | Why does the President always have to rely on us to keep him afloat? | 1.4875 | 0.02750 | 681 | 439 | 152 | 90 |
142 | I'm trying to eat a balanced diet | 1.4874 | 0.02218 | 874 | 539 | 249 | 86 |
143 | Why? What do you use as bait? | 1.4866 | 0.03253 | 448 | 280 | 118 | 50 |
144 | One lousy surfer and I get sixteen weeks of community service. | 1.4866 | 0.02417 | 818 | 513 | 212 | 93 |
145 | The doc said I needed a balanced diet. | 1.4865 | 0.02342 | 851 | 529 | 230 | 92 |
146 | I'm going to let him marinate for another 20 minutes. | 1.4858 | 0.02587 | 669 | 410 | 193 | 66 |
147 | I’m making a fortune carrying them into U.S. waters. | 1.4856 | 0.02444 | 836 | 534 | 198 | 104 |
148 | Shhh. This guy thinks I'm a service animal. | 1.4851 | 0.02384 | 839 | 527 | 217 | 95 |
149 | I know. But he removed a thorn from my fin”. | 1.4850 | 0.02388 | 802 | 496 | 223 | 83 |
150 | He's just a decoy. | 1.4844 | 0.02338 | 832 | 514 | 233 | 85 |
151 | Should we do lunch now or save it for dinner? | 1.4843 | 0.02260 | 830 | 500 | 258 | 72 |
152 | Don’t worry he’s armless | 1.4839 | 0.02588 | 713 | 449 | 183 | 81 |
153 | He's trying to get a signal. | 1.4829 | 0.02417 | 818 | 516 | 209 | 93 |
154 | I'm headed to the potluck | 1.4828 | 0.02424 | 787 | 493 | 209 | 85 |
155 | Millennials...am I right? | 1.4826 | 0.02398 | 806 | 503 | 217 | 86 |
156 | I call it “ Surf and Turf” | 1.4823 | 0.02431 | 817 | 518 | 204 | 95 |
157 | First, we were overfished and now we're support animals? I don't get it. | 1.4821 | 0.02414 | 784 | 487 | 216 | 81 |
158 | You know, it wouldn't kill you to help me carry the groceries. | 1.4809 | 0.02573 | 680 | 421 | 191 | 68 |
159 | Probably not a stable genius. | 1.4792 | 0.02625 | 745 | 486 | 161 | 98 |
160 | Feels so good I hate to eat him. | 1.4785 | 0.02400 | 790 | 493 | 216 | 81 |
161 | You smell fear? All I can smell is feet. | 1.4780 | 0.02468 | 772 | 488 | 199 | 85 |
162 | This guy thinks he walks on water. | 1.4779 | 0.02471 | 747 | 467 | 203 | 77 |
163 | He was drowning. I'm just keeping him fresh until I get hungry. | 1.4779 | 0.02486 | 747 | 469 | 199 | 79 |
164 | Are you a leg or a breast man? | 1.4775 | 0.02560 | 712 | 449 | 186 | 77 |
165 | I told him I’d give him a lift if he debunked shark attacks as Fake News. | 1.4766 | 0.03048 | 535 | 346 | 123 | 66 |
166 | Just wait till he does another hand stand. | 1.4762 | 0.02450 | 756 | 473 | 206 | 77 |
167 | Something is in the water. Oh my god, it just touched me! | 1.4759 | 0.02816 | 601 | 383 | 150 | 68 |
168 | I can't do that. He's a lawyer. He's one of our own. | 1.4738 | 0.02609 | 743 | 486 | 162 | 95 |
169 | I can’t do anything without the soundtrack. | 1.4731 | 0.02480 | 725 | 453 | 201 | 71 |
170 | He’s all yours. I can’t stomach another old white male. | 1.4728 | 0.02776 | 624 | 401 | 151 | 72 |
171 | We'll eat him right after my back massage. | 1.4703 | 0.02658 | 606 | 375 | 177 | 54 |
172 | It’s a professional courtesy. He’s a corporate lawyer. | 1.4666 | 0.02754 | 658 | 433 | 143 | 82 |
173 | Heads he's yours. Tails he's mine. | 1.4659 | 0.03419 | 410 | 266 | 97 | 47 |
174 | I just get more done if I bring my lunch to work. | 1.4654 | 0.02545 | 651 | 403 | 191 | 56 |
175 | I REALLY hate Lent! | 1.4654 | 0.02718 | 664 | 435 | 149 | 80 |
176 | Shall we each grab a leg and make a wish? | 1.4653 | 0.02699 | 662 | 431 | 154 | 77 |
177 | My ex got the top half. | 1.4650 | 0.02604 | 671 | 428 | 174 | 69 |
178 | I’ve switched to live bait. | 1.4644 | 0.04466 | 239 | 155 | 57 | 27 |
179 | Takeout is on me tonight. | 1.4642 | 0.02598 | 670 | 427 | 175 | 68 |
180 | You were right about President Trump, he really is the dumbest thing on land or water. | 1.4637 | 0.02790 | 662 | 443 | 131 | 88 |
181 | I'll split him with you. | 1.4634 | 0.02669 | 669 | 435 | 158 | 76 |
182 | I think he said "Hey guys, I found the sand bar!" | 1.4629 | 0.02573 | 620 | 383 | 187 | 50 |
183 | Ok, let's go over this again... I hit the brakes, then you open your mouth. | 1.4628 | 0.02639 | 631 | 399 | 172 | 60 |
184 | I'm transitioning to porpoise, if you must know. | 1.4627 | 0.02801 | 616 | 403 | 141 | 72 |
185 | You ordered a 160 pounder, no fins, no wet suit? | 1.4626 | 0.02671 | 642 | 412 | 163 | 67 |
186 | It's a decoy. | 1.4613 | 0.02668 | 646 | 416 | 162 | 68 |
187 | He thinks he's standing on a sand bar. I'm waiting for his wife. | 1.4612 | 0.02732 | 631 | 410 | 151 | 70 |
188 | White meat is dry and flavorless, but there's no alternative on Nantucket. | 1.4610 | 0.02730 | 629 | 408 | 152 | 69 |
189 | I know we said we weren't exchanging gifts this year, but I couldn't resist. | 1.4609 | 0.02660 | 627 | 399 | 167 | 61 |
190 | It's win win. He gets a free ride, I get a free lunch. | 1.4609 | 0.02675 | 627 | 403 | 160 | 64 |
191 | The invitation said to bring your own lunch | 1.4601 | 0.02565 | 626 | 389 | 186 | 51 |
192 | Too bad today is Catch and Release | 1.4598 | 0.02685 | 622 | 398 | 162 | 62 |
193 | New gig with Uber Eats. | 1.4597 | 0.02739 | 620 | 402 | 151 | 67 |
194 | They're all over the place. Go get your own. | 1.4585 | 0.02692 | 591 | 373 | 165 | 53 |
195 | Beginning to have second thoughts on the Uber gig. | 1.4582 | 0.02733 | 622 | 404 | 151 | 67 |
196 | Sometimes being a vegetarian is difficult | 1.4565 | 0.02701 | 598 | 381 | 161 | 56 |
197 | Don't say a word. I'm trying not to laugh. | 1.4560 | 0.02907 | 546 | 355 | 133 | 58 |
198 | Go ahead they taste like chicken. | 1.4554 | 0.03316 | 415 | 269 | 103 | 43 |
199 | Grubhub. | 1.4554 | 0.04810 | 224 | 152 | 42 | 30 |
200 | They call him the shark whisperer. | 1.4549 | 0.02857 | 565 | 368 | 137 | 60 |
201 | Since when don't you like Italian? | 1.4547 | 0.02873 | 530 | 339 | 141 | 50 |
202 | I like to play with them a little beforehand. Don't tell Mom. | 1.4539 | 0.02549 | 608 | 389 | 167 | 51 |
203 | You said you wanted fresh. I'm bringing you fresh. | 1.4538 | 0.02650 | 617 | 394 | 166 | 57 |
204 | He said he'd introduce me to his fat uncle. | 1.4536 | 0.02830 | 560 | 362 | 142 | 56 |
205 | They're like muffins. The top half is delicious. | 1.4532 | 0.02799 | 556 | 356 | 148 | 52 |
206 | I can’t, he’s a client. | 1.4521 | 0.02674 | 606 | 388 | 162 | 56 |
207 | I identify as a Dolphin. | 1.4521 | 0.02744 | 606 | 395 | 148 | 63 |
208 | It’s a comfort human. | 1.4521 | 0.02724 | 606 | 393 | 152 | 61 |
209 | Do I have food on my face? | 1.4507 | 0.03630 | 375 | 252 | 77 | 46 |
210 | The most embarrassing part is he keeps calling me "Flipper". | 1.4496 | 0.02866 | 565 | 372 | 132 | 61 |
211 | It’s times like these that I regret going vegan. | 1.4494 | 0.02852 | 563 | 369 | 135 | 59 |
212 | No, go ahead, you tell him | 1.4494 | 0.02715 | 563 | 357 | 159 | 47 |
213 | I’m seconds away from nipping this wildlife tourism trend in the bud. | 1.4494 | 0.02796 | 563 | 364 | 145 | 54 |
214 | It started as a joke, but now I'm sorta invested. | 1.4493 | 0.02824 | 552 | 357 | 142 | 53 |
215 | Here's your order. | 1.4490 | 0.02688 | 588 | 376 | 160 | 52 |
216 | I dunno--I heard the guy say, "Less crowded than Everest and twice as safe." | 1.4486 | 0.02629 | 593 | 375 | 170 | 48 |
217 | He's a lawyer. Professional courtesy. | 1.4469 | 0.02807 | 584 | 385 | 137 | 62 |
218 | My wife said to bring someone home for dinner. | 1.4469 | 0.02722 | 584 | 377 | 153 | 54 |
219 | Here's your take-out. That'll be 20 clams. | 1.4469 | 0.02690 | 584 | 374 | 159 | 51 |
220 | I know it’s a false sense of security, but the meat is more tender when they’re relaxed. | 1.4458 | 0.02721 | 581 | 375 | 153 | 53 |
221 | It's called Great White Privilege. | 1.4446 | 0.02850 | 569 | 377 | 131 | 61 |
222 | Say hello to my little chum. | 1.4426 | 0.02831 | 540 | 351 | 139 | 50 |
223 | I’ll wait until he finishes waving at his wife. | 1.4424 | 0.02842 | 556 | 366 | 134 | 56 |
224 | So who's on top of the food chain? | 1.4424 | 0.02807 | 556 | 363 | 140 | 53 |
225 | I'm not hungry right now, but it's like packing a lunch for later. | 1.4422 | 0.02689 | 545 | 344 | 161 | 40 |
226 | When eating out got so expensive I started packing my lunch. | 1.4422 | 0.02751 | 545 | 349 | 151 | 45 |
227 | I feel like a metaphor for the Mueller report. | 1.4420 | 0.03513 | 362 | 238 | 88 | 36 |
228 | Of course this happens the week I go vegan | 1.4419 | 0.03023 | 525 | 354 | 110 | 61 |
229 | Go away, you already had your half ... | 1.4417 | 0.02721 | 557 | 357 | 154 | 46 |
230 | On three? | 1.4408 | 0.02782 | 515 | 344 | 126 | 45 |
231 | I like the top a little crispy. | 1.4405 | 0.02788 | 538 | 351 | 139 | 48 |
232 | I brought take out. | 1.4404 | 0.02917 | 545 | 364 | 122 | 59 |
233 | Man, this Swim With The Dolphins racket is great -- look what I got! | 1.4401 | 0.02819 | 543 | 354 | 139 | 50 |
234 | I thought you said I was supposed to bring lunch. | 1.4397 | 0.02772 | 514 | 326 | 150 | 38 |
235 | The kids wanted takeout again. | 1.4394 | 0.02458 | 528 | 355 | 130 | 43 |
236 | He's my comfort human, Larry | 1.4389 | 0.03035 | 499 | 333 | 113 | 53 |
237 | That's Donald Trump - much, much scarier than showing my dorsal fin above the water. | 1.4382 | 0.03409 | 445 | 310 | 75 | 60 |
238 | He's keeping an eye out for sharks | 1.4382 | 0.02876 | 534 | 352 | 130 | 52 |
239 | He's my chiropractor. | 1.4381 | 0.02810 | 525 | 339 | 142 | 44 |
240 | Suppers on me! | 1.4380 | 0.02872 | 532 | 350 | 131 | 51 |
241 | The worst part is, I just ate. | 1.4380 | 0.03333 | 411 | 274 | 94 | 43 |
242 | I am trying to make him feel what it’s like to be endangered.” | 1.4379 | 0.03595 | 338 | 222 | 84 | 32 |
243 | Trust me, it'll be funnier AFTER he realizes... | 1.4379 | 0.03591 | 354 | 236 | 81 | 37 |
244 | I'm sick of white meat. YOU eat it! | 1.4378 | 0.02972 | 498 | 328 | 122 | 48 |
245 | I'm gonna give this Uber thing another week. | 1.4368 | 0.02917 | 506 | 334 | 124 | 48 |
246 | All I know is the sciatica in my caudal fin is gone completely. | 1.4357 | 0.02876 | 521 | 342 | 131 | 48 |
247 | Don't show your fin! He thinks he's riding a dolphin! | 1.4357 | 0.02837 | 521 | 339 | 137 | 45 |
248 | Do you have any grey poupon? | 1.4355 | 0.02884 | 519 | 341 | 130 | 48 |
249 | People keep coming to try and rescue him. I swear, I've never eaten so good in my life. | 1.4353 | 0.02853 | 510 | 331 | 136 | 43 |
250 | Hey, Frank, dinner’s on me, today. | 1.4348 | 0.03028 | 506 | 341 | 110 | 55 |
251 | My mom finally said I could have a pet - he's a rescue. | 1.4348 | 0.02943 | 506 | 337 | 119 | 50 |
252 | Let's wait until he's finished waving to his kids. | 1.4347 | 0.02908 | 513 | 338 | 127 | 48 |
253 | Let one swimmer go and they walk all over you! | 1.4347 | 0.02945 | 467 | 301 | 129 | 37 |
254 | The water taxi costs an arm and a leg. I said I'd charge just an arm. | 1.4339 | 0.02903 | 514 | 339 | 127 | 48 |
255 | First, you have to give them a false sense of security. | 1.4339 | 0.02810 | 514 | 332 | 141 | 41 |
256 | In about one minute, he won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.4338 | 0.04180 | 272 | 185 | 56 | 31 |
257 | If you don’t attack first, they think they can just walk all over you. | 1.4333 | 0.04203 | 270 | 184 | 55 | 31 |
258 | Let him finish taking his selfie. | 1.4325 | 0.02997 | 504 | 338 | 114 | 52 |
259 | Let's humor him until his wife and kids arrive. | 1.4325 | 0.02917 | 504 | 332 | 126 | 46 |
260 | Turns out, you can play with your food and eat it too. | 1.4325 | 0.02849 | 504 | 327 | 136 | 41 |
261 | You try it ,the last one I ate tasted just like chicken. | 1.4325 | 0.02876 | 504 | 329 | 132 | 43 |
262 | Wait 'til he finds out I'm not a dolphin. | 1.4325 | 0.02971 | 504 | 336 | 118 | 50 |
263 | I’m letting him marinate | 1.4321 | 0.03042 | 449 | 293 | 118 | 38 |
264 | Like I told you, Karen, men will walk all over you if you let them. | 1.4320 | 0.02947 | 500 | 331 | 122 | 47 |
265 | You take the left leg and we’ll make a wish. | 1.4318 | 0.03003 | 484 | 321 | 117 | 46 |
266 | Thigh or drumstick? | 1.4318 | 0.02916 | 484 | 315 | 129 | 40 |
267 | It started off as a wart | 1.4316 | 0.03556 | 373 | 254 | 77 | 42 |
268 | I don’t know, I think he said his name was Spielberg and I owe him big time.... | 1.4316 | 0.03120 | 468 | 315 | 104 | 49 |
269 | ...and we'll have these waters to ourselves for the rest of the summer. | 1.4315 | 0.03026 | 482 | 321 | 114 | 47 |
270 | Oh, like you could say no to Sir David Attenborough. | 1.4309 | 0.02983 | 485 | 321 | 119 | 45 |
271 | He ain't heavy, he's my lunch. | 1.4307 | 0.03049 | 469 | 314 | 109 | 46 |
272 | Once you get past the temptation, it's actually really good for your core. | 1.4302 | 0.04089 | 265 | 177 | 62 | 26 |
273 | I told him I'm a dolphin. | 1.4292 | 0.02994 | 452 | 294 | 122 | 36 |
274 | What is it you're not supposed to do, 30 minutes after eating a swimmer? | 1.4292 | 0.02932 | 480 | 314 | 126 | 40 |
275 | Ooh gross, get it off!! Where is it? | 1.4289 | 0.02987 | 464 | 304 | 121 | 39 |
276 | And just like that, goodbye sciatica. | 1.4289 | 0.02910 | 485 | 317 | 128 | 40 |
277 | Tastes like chicken. | 1.4276 | 0.03037 | 463 | 307 | 114 | 42 |
278 | They are all so confident when their head is above water. | 1.4274 | 0.02921 | 468 | 304 | 128 | 36 |
279 | Well, if I had known your sister was joining us, I would have brought home more than just the drumsticks. | 1.4257 | 0.02980 | 451 | 294 | 122 | 35 |
280 | It's my emotional support human. | 1.4255 | 0.03051 | 463 | 309 | 111 | 43 |
281 | Met him at Montauk. Twenty bucks to take him to Sag Harbor ain't bad. | 1.4255 | 0.02862 | 463 | 297 | 135 | 31 |
282 | Dad said he could clear a whole beach in the mid-70s | 1.4252 | 0.03660 | 341 | 232 | 73 | 36 |
283 | Oh, it's Human Week. | 1.4252 | 0.03091 | 461 | 310 | 106 | 45 |
284 | I’m never sure of what to bring to potlucks. | 1.4252 | 0.03152 | 461 | 314 | 98 | 49 |
285 | What can I say, he’s a lawyer. He’s one of us. | 1.4248 | 0.02892 | 452 | 320 | 84 | 48 |
286 | Now I have athlete's fin | 1.4246 | 0.03016 | 464 | 308 | 115 | 41 |
287 | Tell the kids, dinner's ready | 1.4246 | 0.02969 | 464 | 305 | 121 | 38 |
288 | Revenge is a dish best served live. | 1.4223 | 0.03109 | 431 | 286 | 108 | 37 |
289 | Have at him. I gave up men for lent. | 1.4223 | 0.03039 | 431 | 282 | 116 | 33 |
290 | What is it? Get if off me! Get it off! | 1.4220 | 0.03041 | 455 | 303 | 112 | 40 |
291 | You know what they say..."eat a man and you have lunch, use one as bait and you'll feast forever" | 1.4220 | 0.02976 | 455 | 299 | 120 | 36 |
292 | I met him online. | 1.4220 | 0.03072 | 455 | 305 | 108 | 42 |
293 | Don't ask. | 1.4218 | 0.03442 | 377 | 256 | 83 | 38 |
294 | I was going to let him finish his text. | 1.4216 | 0.03034 | 453 | 301 | 113 | 39 |
295 | We're pool sharks..live with it. | 1.4213 | 0.03139 | 451 | 306 | 100 | 45 |
296 | You know that trick where the dog flips a treat up off his nose and then eats it? | 1.4212 | 0.02959 | 444 | 297 | 111 | 36 |
297 | Sure, but when one of us mistakes a surfboard for a seal, all hell breaks loose. | 1.4207 | 0.03743 | 309 | 208 | 72 | 29 |
298 | Bait. I’m trolling for one of the really fat, juicy ones. | 1.4206 | 0.03013 | 447 | 295 | 116 | 36 |
299 | I told you I was bringing the entree! | 1.4206 | 0.02945 | 447 | 291 | 124 | 32 |
300 | Why don't YOU ever bring dinner? | 1.4202 | 0.03185 | 445 | 304 | 95 | 46 |
301 | Jump the shark? No, but he did stick the landing. | 1.4202 | 0.03047 | 445 | 298 | 108 | 39 |
302 | Are you gonna tell him? Or should I? | 1.4201 | 0.03329 | 407 | 278 | 87 | 42 |
303 | No, when you're a shark, you're not necessarily a shark all the way. | 1.4190 | 0.03204 | 432 | 294 | 95 | 43 |
304 | Why don’t you bring a sea weed salad or bottle of red wine. | 1.4186 | 0.03095 | 430 | 290 | 102 | 38 |
305 | Gives a whole new meaning to "stupid" doesn't it? | 1.4178 | 0.03204 | 438 | 300 | 93 | 45 |
306 | Wanna grab a bite? | 1.4171 | 0.03003 | 434 | 285 | 117 | 32 |
307 | I'd eat him, but he's doing wonders for my back. | 1.4167 | 0.03013 | 432 | 284 | 116 | 32 |
308 | This has been a bad week, one Fitbit, two tires and now a stand up comedian. | 1.4167 | 0.03248 | 408 | 276 | 94 | 38 |
309 | I don't mind. He's waving a 'Save the Sharks' poster. | 1.4165 | 0.03137 | 389 | 254 | 108 | 27 |
310 | Because he's a card shark, and I owe him a fin." | 1.4164 | 0.03696 | 353 | 248 | 63 | 42 |
311 | AH! What is it? Where is it? Get it off! | 1.4164 | 0.04006 | 281 | 193 | 59 | 29 |
312 | Let's let him wave frantically to shore for another minute or two. | 1.4163 | 0.03128 | 430 | 289 | 103 | 38 |
313 | The odds of this occurring are roughly the same as getting struck by lightning. | 1.4162 | 0.03414 | 358 | 240 | 87 | 31 |
314 | I feel like a Golden Retriever with a Cheerio on its nose. | 1.4161 | 0.02897 | 423 | 293 | 93 | 37 |
315 | Imagine how he'll spin this for his college essay. | 1.4159 | 0.02816 | 428 | 283 | 117 | 28 |
316 | He thinks they're swimming with dolphins. | 1.4159 | 0.03190 | 428 | 291 | 96 | 41 |
317 | The trick is to brine just the bottom half | 1.4159 | 0.03050 | 428 | 283 | 112 | 33 |
318 | Uber Eats delivery for you | 1.4159 | 0.03224 | 428 | 293 | 92 | 43 |
319 | Hurry, go get the camera. | 1.4159 | 0.03050 | 428 | 283 | 112 | 33 |
320 | I thought he'd realize his mistake and jump off, but it's been three hours and now it seems too awkward to say anything. | 1.4159 | 0.03085 | 428 | 285 | 108 | 35 |
321 | We Canadian sharks are just too polite. | 1.4159 | 0.03138 | 428 | 288 | 102 | 38 |
322 | This is NOT how He walked on water. | 1.4159 | 0.03190 | 428 | 291 | 96 | 41 |
323 | I tried goat yoga. This is better. | 1.4159 | 0.03155 | 428 | 289 | 100 | 39 |
324 | Sorry I'm late. But I brought lunch. | 1.4159 | 0.03085 | 428 | 285 | 108 | 35 |
325 | I'm on my way to a potluck. | 1.4157 | 0.02766 | 421 | 275 | 122 | 24 |
326 | I'm saving him for later. | 1.4155 | 0.03059 | 426 | 282 | 111 | 33 |
327 | Ok, I am going to flip him". Heads or Tails | 1.4155 | 0.03059 | 426 | 282 | 111 | 33 |
328 | No, maybe YOU misunderstood when he said "Help, shark!" | 1.4149 | 0.03150 | 429 | 290 | 100 | 39 |
329 | Great white privilege... | 1.4149 | 0.03285 | 429 | 298 | 84 | 47 |
330 | I enjoy giving them a false sense of security. | 1.4133 | 0.03302 | 375 | 251 | 93 | 31 |
331 | 40 more hours of community service, and I can go back to biting ‘em. | 1.4132 | 0.03088 | 409 | 270 | 109 | 30 |
332 | The missus asked me to get some takeout. | 1.4125 | 0.03085 | 417 | 277 | 108 | 32 |
333 | He does things for me you can't begin to understand. | 1.4121 | 0.03303 | 398 | 272 | 88 | 38 |
334 | Chick bait. | 1.4120 | 0.03132 | 415 | 278 | 103 | 34 |
335 | Mom, I'm not going to be ashamed of who I love anymore. | 1.4114 | 0.03528 | 333 | 227 | 76 | 30 |
336 | I got a lunch order here for a Miss Wanda Piranha. Is that you? | 1.4108 | 0.03163 | 409 | 275 | 100 | 34 |
337 | He’s just taking a selfie. Then we can eat him. | 1.4108 | 0.03067 | 409 | 270 | 110 | 29 |
338 | It's the only way to get that knot out of my back. | 1.4104 | 0.03155 | 385 | 254 | 104 | 27 |
339 | He's all yours. I can't eat anything this stupid. | 1.4104 | 0.03422 | 385 | 267 | 78 | 40 |
340 | He's my chum. | 1.4103 | 0.03058 | 407 | 268 | 111 | 28 |
341 | I couldn’t finish the whole thing, so I got it to go. | 1.4103 | 0.03097 | 407 | 270 | 107 | 30 |
342 | Why does this always happen when I'm fasting? | 1.4103 | 0.03174 | 407 | 274 | 99 | 34 |
343 | I give up. What has two legs and looks tasty for lunch? | 1.4103 | 0.03018 | 407 | 266 | 115 | 26 |
344 | Watch this! He thinks he’s on a sand bar. | 1.4103 | 0.03193 | 407 | 275 | 97 | 35 |
345 | Does the tag say “sell by” or “use by” | 1.4103 | 0.03116 | 407 | 271 | 105 | 31 |
346 | He's half the man he used to be. | 1.4099 | 0.03316 | 405 | 280 | 84 | 41 |
347 | I believe you ordered take-out. | 1.4099 | 0.03127 | 405 | 272 | 101 | 32 |
348 | I got some takeout from that new sand bar. | 1.4099 | 0.03007 | 405 | 275 | 100 | 30 |
349 | I stopped for take-out on my way home. | 1.4099 | 0.03146 | 405 | 271 | 102 | 32 |
350 | I promise. This is his last selfie. | 1.4099 | 0.03087 | 405 | 268 | 108 | 29 |
351 | I grabbed us take-out. | 1.4098 | 0.03213 | 410 | 279 | 94 | 37 |
352 | Do you prefer the thigh or leg? | 1.4094 | 0.03196 | 403 | 272 | 97 | 34 |
353 | It's like he knows I'm fasting. | 1.4093 | 0.03324 | 364 | 244 | 91 | 29 |
354 | My body, my choice. | 1.4091 | 0.03536 | 330 | 223 | 79 | 28 |
355 | I know we don't normally get aggressive, but this guy is pissing me off. | 1.4091 | 0.03771 | 308 | 212 | 66 | 30 |
356 | It's a matter of perception vs. reality. He thinks I am a log and I know he is my lunch. | 1.4086 | 0.03361 | 372 | 255 | 83 | 34 |
357 | I find it makes the other swimmers more relaxed. | 1.4080 | 0.03298 | 375 | 253 | 91 | 31 |
358 | Remember this is an aquarium - eat him and there is no more | 1.4075 | 0.03332 | 373 | 253 | 88 | 32 |
359 | I'll let him post to Instagram first. | 1.4074 | 0.03686 | 324 | 224 | 68 | 32 |
360 | He's out of his depth and clueless. Sad. | 1.4068 | 0.03594 | 354 | 248 | 68 | 38 |
361 | I just don't feel like I command the respect I used to. | 1.4063 | 0.03294 | 379 | 257 | 90 | 32 |
362 | Like Donald Trump, he thinks he is on solid ground. | 1.4053 | 0.03275 | 375 | 253 | 92 | 30 |
363 | I got takeout tonight | 1.4051 | 0.03268 | 390 | 266 | 90 | 34 |
364 | It attracts the lifeguards, and they don't come any meatier than that! | 1.4046 | 0.03300 | 388 | 266 | 87 | 35 |
365 | 'I won't eat him right away. My back feels great.' | 1.4046 | 0.03113 | 388 | 262 | 97 | 29 |
366 | The wife is working late, so she asked me to bring home dinner. | 1.4046 | 0.03197 | 388 | 261 | 97 | 30 |
367 | Best spa ever. Back massage followed by dinner for two. | 1.4046 | 0.03340 | 388 | 273 | 76 | 39 |
368 | It's low-pay, seasonal work. But it includes meals. | 1.4046 | 0.03218 | 388 | 262 | 95 | 31 |
369 | I am so sick of tourist season - you can have this one. | 1.4046 | 0.03048 | 388 | 258 | 105 | 25 |
370 | You go high, I'll go low. | 1.4044 | 0.03330 | 366 | 248 | 88 | 30 |
371 | I was running late, so I got my meal to go. | 1.4041 | 0.03311 | 386 | 265 | 86 | 35 |
372 | Are you the guy who ordered dinner? | 1.4041 | 0.03291 | 386 | 264 | 88 | 34 |
373 | he thinks he found a sandbar | 1.4041 | 0.03250 | 386 | 262 | 92 | 32 |
374 | He’s my chum, not yours. | 1.4041 | 0.03311 | 386 | 265 | 86 | 35 |
375 | Grab a leg, and make a wish.... | 1.4041 | 0.03229 | 386 | 261 | 94 | 31 |
376 | At the count of three, we each grab a leg and make a wish. | 1.4041 | 0.03352 | 386 | 267 | 82 | 37 |
377 | I know, but my doctor told me to just leave it alone and eventually it'll fall off. | 1.4041 | 0.03080 | 386 | 264 | 93 | 29 |
378 | It's even better than goat yoga. | 1.4041 | 0.03002 | 386 | 263 | 95 | 28 |
379 | God, I hate being a Nurse Shark. This guy says he has bunions. | 1.4038 | 0.03463 | 369 | 257 | 75 | 37 |
380 | I think it’s a great white. | 1.4036 | 0.03282 | 384 | 262 | 89 | 33 |
381 | He's my perfect disguise ... keeps all the tastier swimmers from panicking when they see my dorsal fin. | 1.4036 | 0.03112 | 384 | 254 | 105 | 25 |
382 | I know, you hate it when I play with my food... | 1.4036 | 0.03219 | 384 | 259 | 95 | 30 |
383 | I don’t care how much good publicity we need, this is humiliating. | 1.4036 | 0.03261 | 384 | 261 | 91 | 32 |
384 | Pretty soon this guy won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.4036 | 0.03209 | 384 | 264 | 88 | 32 |
385 | Do stupid people taste good? | 1.4036 | 0.03384 | 384 | 267 | 79 | 38 |
386 | You the guy who ordered the sushi? | 1.4036 | 0.03384 | 384 | 267 | 79 | 38 |
387 | I ate his wife. It's the least I could do. | 1.4031 | 0.03315 | 382 | 262 | 86 | 34 |
388 | Uber Eats | 1.4031 | 0.03231 | 382 | 258 | 94 | 30 |
389 | My wife sent me for takeout. | 1.4031 | 0.02965 | 382 | 246 | 118 | 18 |
390 | I have to wait for that music to start. | 1.4031 | 0.03273 | 382 | 260 | 90 | 32 |
391 | Yeah, I've got your Uber Eats order. | 1.4031 | 0.03294 | 382 | 261 | 88 | 33 |
392 | When should I tell him I am not a dolphin? | 1.4031 | 0.03273 | 382 | 260 | 90 | 32 |
393 | Your Uber Eats order, sir. | 1.4031 | 0.03315 | 382 | 262 | 86 | 34 |
394 | I thought I'd get a massage in before lunch. | 1.4031 | 0.03166 | 382 | 255 | 100 | 27 |
395 | It works like a charm to catch lifeguards | 1.4026 | 0.03242 | 380 | 257 | 93 | 30 |
396 | I'm just gonna ride this one out. | 1.4026 | 0.03170 | 385 | 258 | 99 | 28 |
397 | Surf and Turf | 1.4021 | 0.03328 | 383 | 264 | 84 | 35 |
398 | I don't know, it's some kind of parasite. | 1.4011 | 0.03430 | 354 | 243 | 80 | 31 |
399 | It's a shame we have to throw them back if they are under three feet. | 1.4011 | 0.03249 | 364 | 244 | 94 | 26 |
400 | Be my guest, I can't reach him. | 1.4011 | 0.03295 | 364 | 246 | 90 | 28 |
401 | It feels so good I just couldn't eat him. | 1.4011 | 0.03249 | 364 | 244 | 94 | 26 |
402 | I'm seriously thinking I should say something. | 1.4011 | 0.03321 | 374 | 256 | 86 | 32 |
403 | His name is Jesus and he likes it when people think he can walk on water. | 1.4011 | 0.03321 | 374 | 256 | 86 | 32 |
404 | Do I LOOK like a dolphin? | 1.4011 | 0.03189 | 374 | 250 | 98 | 26 |
405 | Take a bite and tell me if it tastes like chicken. | 1.4011 | 0.03321 | 374 | 256 | 86 | 32 |
406 | Join the aquarium they said, It'll be fun they said | 1.4006 | 0.03477 | 317 | 220 | 70 | 27 |
407 | Best. Disguise. Ever. | 1.4006 | 0.03604 | 352 | 249 | 65 | 38 |
408 | I'm trying to quit, but they make it too damn easy." | 1.4005 | 0.03387 | 367 | 253 | 81 | 33 |
409 | He's a lawyer. It's a professional courtesy. | 1.4005 | 0.03311 | 372 | 254 | 87 | 31 |
410 | Can I keep him? | 1.4005 | 0.03376 | 372 | 257 | 81 | 34 |
411 | It’s harder than goat yoga and it comes with a snack. | 1.3995 | 0.03380 | 368 | 254 | 81 | 33 |
412 | Tourists ...its too easy | 1.3995 | 0.03313 | 368 | 254 | 84 | 30 |
413 | I'm a comfort shark... | 1.3994 | 0.03368 | 363 | 249 | 83 | 31 |
414 | It’s all about branding. If we save one once in a while, we’ll be right up there with the dolphins | 1.3994 | 0.03300 | 363 | 246 | 89 | 28 |
415 | My dermatologist isn't worried about it, but I want a second opinion. | 1.3994 | 0.03182 | 363 | 241 | 99 | 23 |
416 | He's picking up plastic. | 1.3994 | 0.03253 | 363 | 244 | 93 | 26 |
417 | He's not heavy. He's my lunch. | 1.3994 | 0.03346 | 363 | 248 | 85 | 30 |
418 | Well, then, you should have asked for fries when you placed your order. | 1.3994 | 0.03277 | 363 | 245 | 91 | 27 |
419 | He's not heavy. He's my dinner. | 1.3994 | 0.03435 | 363 | 257 | 69 | 37 |
420 | It's not how I imagined global warming either, but here we are. | 1.3994 | 0.03253 | 363 | 244 | 93 | 26 |
421 | Do you think he knows that he's taking the last selfie of his life? | 1.3989 | 0.03242 | 361 | 242 | 94 | 25 |
422 | The top half was delicious. | 1.3989 | 0.03471 | 361 | 252 | 74 | 35 |
423 | It's take your dinner to work day. | 1.3989 | 0.03170 | 361 | 239 | 100 | 22 |
424 | What kills me is he thinks he’s the great white. | 1.3988 | 0.03580 | 346 | 243 | 68 | 35 |
425 | If we don't nip this in the bud, sharkboardng may become a 'thing'. | 1.3976 | 0.03459 | 332 | 226 | 80 | 26 |
426 | He’s not my friend, really more of a chum. | 1.3973 | 0.03681 | 297 | 203 | 70 | 24 |
427 | Are you the one who ordered from Grubhub? | 1.3966 | 0.03314 | 353 | 239 | 88 | 26 |
428 | I can’t decide between the meal or the delivery guy. | 1.3963 | 0.04978 | 164 | 115 | 34 | 15 |
429 | Just my luck. Every time I go on a diet... | 1.3960 | 0.03399 | 351 | 241 | 81 | 29 |
430 | Does this thing make my dorsal fin look weird? | 1.3960 | 0.03399 | 351 | 241 | 81 | 29 |
431 | Talk about white privilege. | 1.3957 | 0.04183 | 235 | 162 | 53 | 20 |
432 | Oh my God, where is it? On my back? Don't kill it, just get it off me! | 1.3954 | 0.03339 | 349 | 237 | 86 | 26 |
433 | I heard Everest just got too popular for them.” | 1.3952 | 0.03469 | 334 | 229 | 78 | 27 |
434 | She can't complain it's not "fresh" this time! | 1.3950 | 0.03405 | 357 | 247 | 79 | 31 |
435 | Tee hee. He thinks I’m inflated. | 1.3950 | 0.03405 | 357 | 247 | 79 | 31 |
436 | They’re delicious, but they need air. | 1.3950 | 0.03287 | 357 | 242 | 89 | 26 |
437 | The wife likes her takeout fresh | 1.3950 | 0.03428 | 357 | 248 | 77 | 32 |
438 | So you're sayin' he made up the whole symbiosis thing. | 1.3940 | 0.03841 | 302 | 214 | 57 | 31 |
439 | What, do I have something in my teeth? | 1.3938 | 0.03360 | 353 | 242 | 83 | 28 |
440 | When I show my dorsal fin above the water they all run screaming, but with this sunburned mannequin they never see me coming. | 1.3932 | 0.03421 | 351 | 248 | 70 | 33 |
441 | Its Spielberg | 1.3932 | 0.03515 | 351 | 247 | 70 | 34 |
442 | I broke his surfboard, it's the least I could do. | 1.3930 | 0.03471 | 313 | 214 | 76 | 23 |
443 | It's Ramadan. He has until sundown. | 1.3929 | 0.03899 | 280 | 196 | 58 | 26 |
444 | It's bring Your Victim to Work Week." | 1.3926 | 0.03482 | 349 | 244 | 73 | 32 |
445 | My new workout? Strength training until failure, then a high protein snack. | 1.3926 | 0.03434 | 349 | 242 | 77 | 30 |
446 | I didn't know they delivered. | 1.3926 | 0.03505 | 349 | 245 | 71 | 33 |
447 | I like to eat a balanced diet. | 1.3926 | 0.03287 | 349 | 236 | 89 | 24 |
448 | It's my spirit animal. | 1.3926 | 0.03434 | 349 | 242 | 77 | 30 |
449 | I owe him, He pulled a hook out of my tail years ago | 1.3919 | 0.03349 | 347 | 237 | 84 | 26 |
450 | I'm looking for some fava beans and a nice chianti. | 1.3919 | 0.03435 | 347 | 243 | 73 | 31 |
451 | It's called "take out". | 1.3919 | 0.03325 | 347 | 236 | 86 | 25 |
452 | Call me Fishmael. | 1.3913 | 0.03461 | 345 | 240 | 75 | 30 |
453 | I saved you the bottom half." | 1.3908 | 0.03366 | 348 | 239 | 82 | 27 |
454 | Actually, I do like working for Uber. | 1.3907 | 0.03350 | 343 | 234 | 84 | 25 |
455 | No, papa, I love him! | 1.3907 | 0.03499 | 343 | 240 | 72 | 31 |
456 | Shhh! He thinks he’s standing on a rock. | 1.3905 | 0.03890 | 274 | 191 | 59 | 24 |
457 | Because a real periscope costs an arm and a leg. | 1.3896 | 0.03865 | 308 | 222 | 52 | 34 |
458 | Don't let this get around. | 1.3882 | 0.03582 | 304 | 209 | 72 | 23 |
459 | I'd eat him but I've never had such a good massage before. | 1.3881 | 0.03323 | 335 | 227 | 86 | 22 |
460 | Let's make a wish. | 1.3881 | 0.03269 | 335 | 235 | 74 | 26 |
461 | He says the cell signal is better out here. | 1.3881 | 0.03403 | 335 | 230 | 80 | 25 |
462 | Don’t pretend like you’ve never seen live bait before. | 1.3881 | 0.03455 | 335 | 232 | 76 | 27 |
463 | I picked up some take-out. | 1.3881 | 0.03481 | 335 | 233 | 74 | 28 |
464 | He’s looking for us! | 1.3881 | 0.03429 | 335 | 231 | 78 | 26 |
465 | It's a balanced diet. | 1.3881 | 0.03350 | 335 | 228 | 84 | 23 |
466 | The legs taste better after marinating for an hour. | 1.3881 | 0.03376 | 335 | 229 | 82 | 24 |
467 | I'm taking it to the potluck. | 1.3881 | 0.03481 | 335 | 233 | 74 | 28 |
468 | Care to join me for take-out ? | 1.3881 | 0.03376 | 335 | 229 | 82 | 24 |
469 | You wanna tell him? Or should I? | 1.3881 | 0.03429 | 335 | 231 | 78 | 26 |
470 | I'm saving the rest for later | 1.3881 | 0.03403 | 335 | 230 | 80 | 25 |
471 | Whatever it is he's trying to prove, he's not going to have a leg to stand on. | 1.3881 | 0.03481 | 335 | 233 | 74 | 28 |
472 | Since when are you concerned about sustainability? | 1.3876 | 0.03617 | 307 | 213 | 69 | 25 |
473 | No, you _can't_ have the top."That's the best part. | 1.3874 | 0.03443 | 333 | 230 | 77 | 26 |
474 | Remember, I said to pack a lunch...? | 1.3874 | 0.03067 | 333 | 219 | 100 | 14 |
475 | If he likes the ride, I get five stars on Kelp. | 1.3874 | 0.03495 | 333 | 234 | 70 | 29 |
476 | What?? Do I have something caught in my teeth? | 1.3874 | 0.03443 | 333 | 230 | 77 | 26 |
477 | I know, never get attached to them, but this one is different. | 1.3867 | 0.03403 | 331 | 227 | 80 | 24 |
478 | Should you tell him or should I? | 1.3860 | 0.03497 | 329 | 229 | 73 | 27 |
479 | Here’s your order sir! | 1.3860 | 0.03471 | 329 | 228 | 75 | 26 |
480 | I know we shouldn't play with our food, but this seems to help my back. | 1.3860 | 0.03444 | 329 | 227 | 77 | 25 |
481 | Do I have some food stuck in my dorsal fin? | 1.3860 | 0.03417 | 329 | 226 | 79 | 24 |
482 | let's do the old bait and switch. | 1.3860 | 0.03444 | 329 | 227 | 77 | 25 |
483 | Now I understand why the oceans are warming. | 1.3857 | 0.03826 | 280 | 196 | 59 | 24 |
484 | I’m trying something different. I’m letting my food play with me. | 1.3855 | 0.03771 | 275 | 190 | 64 | 21 |
485 | I can never resist playing with my food. | 1.3853 | 0.03512 | 327 | 228 | 72 | 27 |
486 | Relax, he's just saying his goodbyes. | 1.3853 | 0.03204 | 327 | 227 | 79 | 21 |
487 | I'm taking him out for lunch. | 1.3853 | 0.03375 | 327 | 223 | 82 | 22 |
488 | Want half? | 1.3853 | 0.03485 | 327 | 227 | 74 | 26 |
489 | He keeps yelling “help!” Do you think there’s anything we can do for him? | 1.3853 | 0.03403 | 327 | 224 | 80 | 23 |
490 | I think it's time to show ol' Macheath here our pearly whites. | 1.3853 | 0.03485 | 327 | 227 | 74 | 26 |
491 | I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a dolphin | 1.3853 | 0.03375 | 327 | 226 | 79 | 22 |
492 | I like mine golden brown on top. | 1.3853 | 0.03538 | 327 | 229 | 70 | 28 |
493 | What can I say - I like to play with my food. | 1.3853 | 0.03347 | 327 | 222 | 84 | 21 |
494 | I brought dessert. | 1.3853 | 0.03347 | 327 | 222 | 84 | 21 |
495 | No you can’t have him. I’m delivering for GrubHub. | 1.3853 | 0.03538 | 327 | 229 | 70 | 28 |
496 | I got my sea legs. | 1.3846 | 0.03361 | 325 | 221 | 83 | 21 |
497 | Took him 'to go' | 1.3846 | 0.03472 | 325 | 225 | 75 | 25 |
498 | Business has really picked up ever since the ferry boat broke down. | 1.3839 | 0.03430 | 323 | 222 | 78 | 23 |
499 | How do you want him- over easy? | 1.3839 | 0.03258 | 323 | 216 | 90 | 17 |
500 | I prefer dark meat. He's all yours. | 1.3839 | 0.03514 | 323 | 225 | 72 | 26 |
501 | I don’t eat white meat. | 1.3839 | 0.03541 | 323 | 226 | 70 | 27 |
502 | He's all yours. I'm not big on white meat | 1.3832 | 0.03444 | 321 | 221 | 77 | 23 |
503 | I found a really good take out place right on the beach... | 1.3832 | 0.03473 | 321 | 222 | 75 | 24 |
504 | No, I wouldn't say I let people "walk all over me" | 1.3832 | 0.03444 | 321 | 221 | 77 | 23 |
505 | They call it Extreme Paddleboarding. I call it lunch. | 1.3832 | 0.03501 | 321 | 226 | 69 | 26 |
506 | And somehow this isn't the scariest platform in America. | 1.3832 | 0.03528 | 321 | 224 | 71 | 26 |
507 | It’s Ramadan. | 1.3824 | 0.03401 | 319 | 218 | 80 | 21 |
508 | A lot has changed since I became a vegetarian. | 1.3824 | 0.03515 | 319 | 222 | 72 | 25 |
509 | This guy figures he's a shoo-in for the 2019 Darwin Award. | 1.3824 | 0.03902 | 272 | 192 | 56 | 24 |
510 | He said he was going to get me featured on Shark Tank. | 1.3817 | 0.03386 | 317 | 216 | 81 | 20 |
511 | I feel so much better since I went vegan. | 1.3814 | 0.03843 | 291 | 208 | 55 | 28 |
512 | I try to maintain a balanced diet. | 1.3810 | 0.03458 | 315 | 217 | 76 | 22 |
513 | I'm saving the legs for dessert. | 1.3810 | 0.03487 | 315 | 218 | 74 | 23 |
514 | Shark surfing, apparently it's a thing. | 1.3806 | 0.03670 | 289 | 201 | 66 | 22 |
515 | Move to Marineland it will be fun, they said. | 1.3806 | 0.03703 | 289 | 202 | 64 | 23 |
516 | I know, I know. I just don’t have the heart to tell him I’m not a dolphin. | 1.3802 | 0.03228 | 313 | 215 | 80 | 18 |
517 | I’ve just about had it with being his companion animal. | 1.3802 | 0.03352 | 313 | 215 | 80 | 18 |
518 | I'm with Uber. If they don't tip, I eat them. | 1.3802 | 0.03589 | 313 | 220 | 67 | 26 |
519 | These new lures are a hit. | 1.3802 | 0.03473 | 313 | 216 | 75 | 22 |
520 | So, what are you doing to improve our image? | 1.3802 | 0.03383 | 313 | 213 | 81 | 19 |
521 | He’s a lawyer and 23andMe says we’re related. | 1.3802 | 0.03645 | 313 | 222 | 63 | 28 |
522 | What he doesn't know is about to hurt him. | 1.3802 | 0.03383 | 313 | 213 | 81 | 19 |
523 | Quick, take a photo for my Instagram! | 1.3802 | 0.03589 | 313 | 220 | 67 | 26 |
524 | The Great White suggests allowing the meat to stand just a bit prior to consumption. | 1.3802 | 0.03443 | 313 | 215 | 77 | 21 |
525 | Yep, another adrenaline junkie followed me home. | 1.3802 | 0.03413 | 313 | 214 | 79 | 20 |
526 | I had to do something—Dolphins are killing us in the PR department! | 1.3802 | 0.03673 | 313 | 223 | 61 | 29 |
527 | May I borrow your Grey Poupon? | 1.3794 | 0.03517 | 311 | 216 | 72 | 23 |
528 | I can't believe I missed and ate his surfboard. I think I need glasses. | 1.3794 | 0.03717 | 311 | 223 | 58 | 30 |
529 | I brought my lunch. | 1.3794 | 0.03604 | 311 | 219 | 66 | 26 |
530 | He's bait, you idiot! | 1.3794 | 0.03717 | 311 | 223 | 58 | 30 |
531 | I'm tired of all the hate | 1.3794 | 0.03487 | 311 | 215 | 74 | 22 |
532 | Stick around! I am using him as bait! | 1.3794 | 0.03517 | 311 | 216 | 72 | 23 |
533 | I gave up eating idiots for Lent. | 1.3794 | 0.03546 | 311 | 217 | 70 | 24 |
534 | Can you please get a picture of this? | 1.3794 | 0.03604 | 311 | 219 | 66 | 26 |
535 | I thought it was potluck. | 1.3794 | 0.03457 | 311 | 214 | 76 | 21 |
536 | Yoo-hoo. My eyes are down here. | 1.3794 | 0.03487 | 311 | 215 | 74 | 22 |
537 | It’s a long trip. Thought I’d carry a snack for the road” | 1.3794 | 0.03633 | 311 | 220 | 64 | 27 |
538 | So what? You've got ramoras. | 1.3786 | 0.03502 | 309 | 214 | 73 | 22 |
539 | I bet this idiot thinks he's on top of the food chain right now? | 1.3786 | 0.03591 | 309 | 217 | 67 | 25 |
540 | I got this one to go. | 1.3786 | 0.03502 | 309 | 216 | 70 | 23 |
541 | I just can't bear to tell him he's really in over his head. | 1.3786 | 0.03620 | 309 | 218 | 65 | 26 |
542 | We decided to try that new carry out place. | 1.3786 | 0.03620 | 309 | 218 | 65 | 26 |
543 | I wanted to go somewhere nice, you're the one who said let's just get takeout!" | 1.3786 | 0.03502 | 309 | 223 | 62 | 24 |
544 | Hey! I didn't criticize you when you brought YOUR lawyer! | 1.3786 | 0.03561 | 309 | 216 | 69 | 24 |
545 | He thinks all sharks are bottom feeders. | 1.3784 | 0.04382 | 222 | 159 | 42 | 21 |
546 | Be patient. He just asked his wife to come in - there'll be plenty for both of us. | 1.3779 | 0.03393 | 307 | 209 | 80 | 18 |
547 | When I'm through with him, he won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.3779 | 0.03694 | 307 | 219 | 60 | 28 |
548 | They're so tame these days. It's no fun anymore. | 1.3779 | 0.03455 | 307 | 211 | 76 | 20 |
549 | The Hamptons have become way too crowded. | 1.3779 | 0.03577 | 307 | 215 | 68 | 24 |
550 | Sometimes, I feel like they just don't respect me anymore. | 1.3779 | 0.03486 | 307 | 212 | 74 | 21 |
551 | It keeps calling me "Dude". | 1.3779 | 0.03577 | 307 | 215 | 68 | 24 |
552 | Meals on Fins! | 1.3779 | 0.03517 | 307 | 213 | 72 | 22 |
553 | When do you think we should let him know? | 1.3779 | 0.03425 | 307 | 210 | 78 | 19 |
554 | Just stay calm - it’s more afraid of you than you are of it. | 1.3779 | 0.03577 | 307 | 215 | 68 | 24 |
555 | I brought a snack in case we get hungry later. | 1.3779 | 0.03486 | 307 | 220 | 63 | 24 |
556 | He's my chum or at least will be soon. | 1.3779 | 0.03547 | 307 | 214 | 70 | 23 |
557 | I''m saving the bottom half until later | 1.3779 | 0.03636 | 307 | 217 | 64 | 26 |
558 | He promised to fix my back. I promised not to eat him. | 1.3779 | 0.03606 | 307 | 216 | 66 | 25 |
559 | Oh yeah ! The old sandbar trick, it works every time ! | 1.3779 | 0.03425 | 307 | 212 | 75 | 20 |
560 | I prefer standing rib, don't you? | 1.3779 | 0.03562 | 307 | 217 | 65 | 25 |
561 | He said he was a lawyer...professional courtesy. | 1.3770 | 0.03652 | 305 | 216 | 63 | 26 |
562 | Do you think he could balance on ONE leg? | 1.3770 | 0.03178 | 305 | 216 | 69 | 20 |
563 | Meet my new chum! | 1.3762 | 0.03453 | 303 | 208 | 76 | 19 |
564 | It's 2019. We're in love. And it's beautiful. | 1.3762 | 0.03453 | 303 | 208 | 76 | 19 |
565 | The dolphin noises worked." | 1.3762 | 0.03516 | 303 | 210 | 72 | 21 |
566 | White people, amiright? | 1.3754 | 0.03593 | 301 | 211 | 67 | 23 |
567 | Am I losing my edge, Alan? | 1.3754 | 0.03468 | 301 | 207 | 75 | 19 |
568 | Bite his leg off, will ya? My dorsal fin's going to sleep. | 1.3754 | 0.03436 | 301 | 206 | 77 | 18 |
569 | What was I supposed to do? Let him drown? | 1.3754 | 0.03624 | 301 | 212 | 65 | 24 |
570 | Professional courtesy. He's a politician. | 1.3754 | 0.03403 | 301 | 205 | 79 | 17 |
571 | I always like to bring a snack. | 1.3754 | 0.03531 | 301 | 209 | 71 | 21 |
572 | What? It's Take Your Prey to Work day. | 1.3754 | 0.03624 | 301 | 212 | 65 | 24 |
573 | No, he's just my massage therapist. | 1.3746 | 0.03351 | 299 | 202 | 82 | 15 |
574 | He does wonders for my spine. | 1.3746 | 0.03214 | 299 | 208 | 74 | 17 |
575 | I still play with my food — so what? | 1.3746 | 0.03640 | 299 | 211 | 64 | 24 |
576 | I'm tired of Dolphins getting all the good press. | 1.3746 | 0.03578 | 299 | 209 | 68 | 22 |
577 | You don't feel like cooking, so I got some take-out. | 1.3746 | 0.03640 | 299 | 211 | 64 | 24 |
578 | Did you order the take-out? | 1.3746 | 0.03351 | 299 | 206 | 76 | 17 |
579 | It’s Human Week. | 1.3746 | 0.03731 | 299 | 214 | 58 | 27 |
580 | He hasn't yet noticed I ate his surfboard. | 1.3746 | 0.03482 | 299 | 206 | 74 | 19 |
581 | I had the top half for breakfast. | 1.3746 | 0.03384 | 299 | 208 | 72 | 19 |
582 | I’m swimming for the new ride-sharing app Scuber” | 1.3737 | 0.03656 | 297 | 210 | 63 | 24 |
583 | He thinks I'm a dolphin. What should I do? | 1.3737 | 0.03593 | 297 | 208 | 67 | 22 |
584 | He's a lawyer- it's just professional courtesy | 1.3737 | 0.03687 | 297 | 211 | 61 | 25 |
585 | Look what followed me home. | 1.3737 | 0.03593 | 297 | 208 | 67 | 22 |
586 | Humans endangered species? You must be joking! | 1.3729 | 0.03609 | 295 | 207 | 66 | 22 |
587 | i come bearing gifts | 1.3729 | 0.03735 | 295 | 211 | 58 | 26 |
588 | I'd eat him, but it's so hard to find a good shiatsu practitioner and he knows just the right pressure point on my dorsal. | 1.3727 | 0.03722 | 271 | 189 | 63 | 19 |
589 | It's complicated. | 1.3720 | 0.03689 | 293 | 208 | 61 | 24 |
590 | What would Darwin do? | 1.3720 | 0.03593 | 293 | 207 | 64 | 22 |
591 | Pardon me. Would you have any Grey Poupon? | 1.3720 | 0.03689 | 293 | 208 | 61 | 24 |
592 | Did you know shark yoga was a thing? | 1.3720 | 0.03460 | 293 | 201 | 75 | 17 |
593 | Half a billion years old and the planet’s most vicious predator - where’s the respect? | 1.3717 | 0.03777 | 269 | 189 | 60 | 20 |
594 | Do these make my neck look fat? | 1.3711 | 0.03674 | 291 | 206 | 62 | 23 |
595 | Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts which we areabout to recieve... | 1.3711 | 0.03706 | 291 | 207 | 60 | 24 |
596 | Pretty soon he won't have a leg to stand on! | 1.3711 | 0.03706 | 291 | 207 | 60 | 24 |
597 | It's called 'delayed gratification training.' | 1.3711 | 0.03543 | 291 | 202 | 70 | 19 |
598 | He's endangered. | 1.3711 | 0.03706 | 291 | 207 | 60 | 24 |
599 | I WAS GOING TO EAT HIM BUT MY BACK NEVER FELT BETTER | 1.3702 | 0.03755 | 289 | 207 | 57 | 25 |
600 | I saved this one for you. I'm already stuffed to the gills. | 1.3702 | 0.03490 | 289 | 199 | 73 | 17 |
601 | I'd eat him, but I like the back rub. | 1.3702 | 0.03558 | 289 | 201 | 69 | 19 |
602 | He's heavy...and he ain't my brother. | 1.3702 | 0.03592 | 289 | 202 | 67 | 20 |
603 | I'm still a man eater. Uber is just a side hustle. | 1.3702 | 0.03755 | 289 | 207 | 57 | 25 |
604 | I'm just not into him | 1.3702 | 0.03592 | 289 | 202 | 67 | 20 |
605 | Do you want to surprise him or should I? | 1.3693 | 0.03675 | 287 | 203 | 62 | 22 |
606 | So, should I tell him, or do you want to? | 1.3693 | 0.03741 | 287 | 205 | 58 | 24 |
607 | Here’s one guy who’s gonna be defeeted. | 1.3693 | 0.03574 | 287 | 200 | 68 | 19 |
608 | I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a sandbar. | 1.3693 | 0.03399 | 287 | 195 | 78 | 14 |
609 | I just don't know if I really want to eat him or if it's because society wants me to" | 1.3693 | 0.03608 | 287 | 201 | 66 | 20 |
610 | It's just easier to carry your lunch. | 1.3693 | 0.03608 | 287 | 201 | 66 | 20 |
611 | It's just until he finishes his beer. | 1.3693 | 0.03642 | 287 | 202 | 64 | 21 |
612 | No, bull sharks are the aggressive ones, I’m more passive aggressive. | 1.3688 | 0.03981 | 263 | 190 | 49 | 24 |
613 | It's one of my best lures. | 1.3684 | 0.03725 | 285 | 203 | 59 | 23 |
614 | I’m full. You want him? | 1.3684 | 0.03590 | 285 | 199 | 67 | 19 |
615 | Word to the wise: never lose a bet to Shamu | 1.3684 | 0.03590 | 285 | 199 | 67 | 19 |
616 | I'm beginning to rethink this ride sharing gig. | 1.3684 | 0.03377 | 285 | 198 | 71 | 16 |
617 | Fine then, you tell me how to accessorize. | 1.3684 | 0.03590 | 285 | 206 | 57 | 22 |
618 | Carryout. | 1.3684 | 0.03692 | 285 | 202 | 61 | 22 |
619 | I could only eat half! | 1.3684 | 0.03855 | 285 | 207 | 51 | 27 |
620 | It's a symbiotic relationship. He gets a free ride, and I get to swim close to shore undetected. | 1.3684 | 0.03520 | 285 | 197 | 71 | 17 |
621 | It was developed by the same people who came up with goat yoga. | 1.3684 | 0.03624 | 285 | 200 | 65 | 20 |
622 | I've literally got lunch on my mind | 1.3675 | 0.03500 | 283 | 195 | 72 | 16 |
623 | I'm a Scuber driver. | 1.3675 | 0.03809 | 283 | 204 | 54 | 25 |
624 | I switched to using live bait | 1.3675 | 0.03410 | 283 | 200 | 65 | 18 |
625 | Surf for him--turf for me. | 1.3675 | 0.03410 | 283 | 200 | 65 | 18 |
626 | I know. But it supposedly cures hiccups. | 1.3675 | 0.03571 | 283 | 197 | 68 | 18 |
627 | It's that first moment of realization I savor most, though the panicked thrashing is also quite satisfying. | 1.3675 | 0.03391 | 283 | 192 | 78 | 13 |
628 | It's the least I could do since I ate his surfboard . | 1.3673 | 0.03749 | 275 | 195 | 59 | 21 |
629 | Yeah, he thinks he’s standing on a sandbar. | 1.3670 | 0.03715 | 267 | 187 | 62 | 18 |
630 | I didn’t invite him. I thought you did. | 1.3667 | 0.03495 | 270 | 184 | 73 | 13 |
631 | The top half was pretty tasty. | 1.3665 | 0.03794 | 281 | 202 | 55 | 24 |
632 | Fear is a tenderizer. | 1.3665 | 0.03657 | 281 | 198 | 63 | 20 |
633 | I'd eat him but he's such a stand up guy. | 1.3665 | 0.03657 | 281 | 198 | 63 | 20 |
634 | Ready? | 1.3664 | 0.03604 | 262 | 180 | 68 | 14 |
635 | It's a balanced breakfast. | 1.3656 | 0.03382 | 279 | 199 | 62 | 18 |
636 | Dinner’s almost ready - just letting it rest for a few minutes | 1.3656 | 0.03494 | 279 | 192 | 72 | 15 |
637 | I don’t have the heart to tell him he’s not swimming with dolphins. | 1.3656 | 0.03674 | 279 | 197 | 62 | 20 |
638 | I was going to eat him, but this massage feels fantastic. | 1.3656 | 0.03709 | 279 | 200 | 57 | 22 |
639 | I want to tell him "a little to the left" but I'm afraid he'll freak out. | 1.3656 | 0.03531 | 279 | 193 | 70 | 16 |
640 | Somehow he thinks I'm taking him back to his surfboard. | 1.3656 | 0.03585 | 279 | 197 | 63 | 19 |
641 | I always carry a snack with me when I’m out and about. | 1.3656 | 0.03567 | 279 | 194 | 68 | 17 |
642 | I’ve found that strapping a lawyer on my back scares more swimmers than my fin alone. | 1.3656 | 0.03674 | 279 | 197 | 62 | 20 |
643 | I've seen better legs on a hermit crab. | 1.3656 | 0.03744 | 279 | 199 | 58 | 22 |
644 | Looks like six more weeks of winter. | 1.3653 | 0.04263 | 219 | 157 | 44 | 18 |
645 | I do one National Geographic Special and he's been following me around ever since. | 1.3646 | 0.03691 | 277 | 196 | 61 | 20 |
646 | It's realistic, isn't it? Now lets see if it works... | 1.3646 | 0.03656 | 277 | 195 | 63 | 19 |
647 | Like the American electorate, he does not know he’s standing on a shark | 1.3643 | 0.03917 | 258 | 185 | 52 | 21 |
648 | He just had to prove he was on top of the food chain. | 1.3641 | 0.04579 | 184 | 131 | 39 | 14 |
649 | It looks like it's white meat for dinner. Do you prefer the leg or the thigh? | 1.3636 | 0.03563 | 275 | 191 | 68 | 16 |
650 | It's strickly business. For luring them over to me, he keeps any jewelry and cash. | 1.3636 | 0.03600 | 275 | 192 | 66 | 17 |
651 | I named him Finn. | 1.3636 | 0.03744 | 275 | 196 | 58 | 21 |
652 | Watch me flip him in the air and catch him in my mouth | 1.3636 | 0.03780 | 275 | 197 | 56 | 22 |
653 | Do I have some food on my fin? | 1.3636 | 0.03780 | 275 | 197 | 56 | 22 |
654 | There are days I wish I never would have gotten involved with Uber! | 1.3636 | 0.03744 | 275 | 196 | 58 | 21 |
655 | Did the water just get really warm? | 1.3626 | 0.03910 | 262 | 189 | 51 | 22 |
656 | As my sponsor can you help me with how to react or handle this situation? The urge to eat him is so strong. | 1.3616 | 0.03744 | 271 | 193 | 58 | 20 |
657 | His surf, our turf. | 1.3616 | 0.03707 | 271 | 192 | 60 | 19 |
658 | He has my back so don’t bite him | 1.3615 | 0.03697 | 260 | 182 | 62 | 16 |
659 | There are times I just wish I could forget I'm a vegan! | 1.3615 | 0.03968 | 260 | 189 | 48 | 23 |
660 | Normally I'd eat him, but this just feels sooo good. | 1.3615 | 0.03854 | 260 | 186 | 54 | 20 |
661 | Well, the sharks in Japan say it helps with their back pain. | 1.3615 | 0.03873 | 260 | 189 | 49 | 22 |
662 | I think my vegan diet days are just about over. | 1.3615 | 0.03615 | 260 | 180 | 66 | 14 |
663 | Please tell me those are feet. | 1.3615 | 0.03892 | 260 | 187 | 52 | 21 |
664 | I thought I’d do carry out this evening. | 1.3606 | 0.03835 | 269 | 194 | 53 | 22 |
665 | He's just some guy from Helsinki. Calls himself a dorsal Finn. | 1.3606 | 0.03687 | 269 | 190 | 61 | 18 |
666 | I'm taking my lunch to work today. | 1.3606 | 0.03762 | 269 | 192 | 57 | 20 |
667 | Some moron ate his surfboard | 1.3606 | 0.03799 | 269 | 193 | 55 | 21 |
668 | Help yourself. I'm vegan. | 1.3602 | 0.03725 | 261 | 184 | 60 | 17 |
669 | Going vegan has been harder than expected. | 1.3600 | 0.04136 | 200 | 147 | 39 | 14 |
670 | This is what white privilege looks like. | 1.3596 | 0.03780 | 267 | 191 | 56 | 20 |
671 | It's a good decoy, but the glue gives me hives. | 1.3596 | 0.03743 | 267 | 190 | 58 | 19 |
672 | They taste better after you betray them. | 1.3596 | 0.03817 | 267 | 194 | 51 | 22 |
673 | It stands for Make America Great White Again. | 1.3591 | 0.03558 | 259 | 186 | 56 | 17 |
674 | I think they call him a sociopath--he acts like he is drowning and I get the rescuers. | 1.3591 | 0.03579 | 259 | 179 | 67 | 13 |
675 | Wanna join me for lunch? | 1.3591 | 0.04050 | 259 | 191 | 43 | 25 |
676 | Here is your carry out | 1.3591 | 0.03703 | 259 | 182 | 61 | 16 |
677 | It's a great decoy. . .works like charm every time! | 1.3591 | 0.03861 | 259 | 186 | 53 | 20 |
678 | For my birthday I wished to grow another 2 feet. | 1.3591 | 0.03743 | 259 | 183 | 59 | 17 |
679 | Zero respect since Jaws. | 1.3585 | 0.03836 | 265 | 191 | 53 | 21 |
680 | Professional courtesy - he's a lawyer. | 1.3585 | 0.03761 | 265 | 189 | 57 | 19 |
681 | Yeah, I’m embarassed, but it feels so good. | 1.3585 | 0.03684 | 265 | 187 | 61 | 17 |
682 | I'd eat him but I don't want to ruin my rideshare rating. | 1.3585 | 0.03761 | 265 | 189 | 57 | 19 |
683 | Today's beach buffet is standing room only. | 1.3585 | 0.03295 | 265 | 190 | 60 | 15 |
684 | Karma’s a bitch. | 1.3585 | 0.03761 | 265 | 189 | 57 | 19 |
685 | I picked up dinner | 1.3585 | 0.03605 | 265 | 185 | 65 | 15 |
686 | He says his name's Jonah | 1.3585 | 0.03338 | 265 | 191 | 58 | 16 |
687 | I told you they'd try to domesticate us next. | 1.3585 | 0.03566 | 265 | 184 | 67 | 14 |
688 | I have to stay still. He's already been calling for more friends to come play at the "sandbar". | 1.3585 | 0.03645 | 265 | 186 | 63 | 16 |
689 | The invitation said "bring a dish to pass." | 1.3580 | 0.03919 | 257 | 186 | 50 | 21 |
690 | What, do I have food all over my face? | 1.3580 | 0.03596 | 257 | 178 | 66 | 13 |
691 | The key is to give them a false sense of security. | 1.3580 | 0.03445 | 257 | 182 | 61 | 14 |
692 | Remember, it’ll take lots of responsibility to take him on walks every day. | 1.3580 | 0.03679 | 257 | 180 | 62 | 15 |
693 | I just like the top part. | 1.3580 | 0.03720 | 257 | 181 | 60 | 16 |
694 | Suzanne ate the top half. | 1.3580 | 0.03841 | 257 | 184 | 54 | 19 |
695 | I haven't yet had the appetite to tell him he lost his surfboard a few meters back. | 1.3580 | 0.03761 | 257 | 182 | 58 | 17 |
696 | If you wanted a fresh packed lunch Morty you should have brought one. | 1.3580 | 0.03510 | 257 | 191 | 46 | 20 |
697 | I can’t, it’s too easy. | 1.3580 | 0.03841 | 257 | 184 | 54 | 19 |
698 | I know! But his feet are really warm and, when he falls off, well, lunch! | 1.3580 | 0.03720 | 257 | 181 | 60 | 16 |
699 | It’s a condition of my parole, to prove that I can resist temptation. | 1.3580 | 0.03801 | 257 | 183 | 56 | 18 |
700 | '"Wait 'til he says Polo." | 1.3574 | 0.03779 | 263 | 188 | 56 | 19 |
701 | I had him stuffed and mounted as a trophy. | 1.3574 | 0.03817 | 263 | 189 | 54 | 20 |
702 | Yes, as a matter of fact, I do regret going Vegan. | 1.3574 | 0.03662 | 263 | 185 | 62 | 16 |
703 | Yeah, it looks annoying, but after he does his job, it's like a big buffet. | 1.3574 | 0.03817 | 263 | 189 | 54 | 20 |
704 | I decided to get carry-out from the beach. | 1.3574 | 0.03855 | 263 | 190 | 52 | 21 |
705 | What? He's my emotional support human. | 1.3574 | 0.03740 | 263 | 187 | 58 | 18 |
706 | I really don't like white meat. | 1.3574 | 0.03817 | 263 | 189 | 54 | 20 |
707 | I just love climate change. | 1.3574 | 0.03855 | 263 | 190 | 52 | 21 |
708 | Shh! He thinks I'm a sandbar. Don't spoil the surprise. | 1.3574 | 0.03740 | 263 | 187 | 58 | 18 |
709 | Want to help me ruin the summer tourist season? | 1.3574 | 0.03701 | 263 | 186 | 60 | 17 |
710 | Don't you try to shame me into sharing just because you forgot to pack a lunch. | 1.3569 | 0.03780 | 255 | 181 | 57 | 17 |
711 | The recipe calls for fifteen minutes of brining. | 1.3563 | 0.03798 | 261 | 187 | 55 | 19 |
712 | They taste terrible but you should see the look on their faces when they find out I’m not a rock | 1.3563 | 0.03598 | 261 | 182 | 65 | 14 |
713 | Don't knock it. This lure works much better than a bare fin. | 1.3563 | 0.03598 | 261 | 182 | 65 | 14 |
714 | I know, right? Second day as a vegan and already I'm being tempted. | 1.3563 | 0.03759 | 261 | 186 | 57 | 18 |
715 | I'd eat him but I think he was farm-raised. | 1.3563 | 0.03874 | 261 | 189 | 51 | 21 |
716 | It's an Androcles and the lion relationship. He pulled a plastic straw out of my gills. | 1.3563 | 0.03321 | 261 | 183 | 66 | 12 |
717 | Yea, I got approved to have an emotional support human. | 1.3563 | 0.03836 | 261 | 188 | 53 | 20 |
718 | I know you're not supposed to play with your food, but I can't help myself. | 1.3563 | 0.03912 | 261 | 190 | 49 | 22 |
719 | Would you get this guy off my back? | 1.3563 | 0.03759 | 261 | 186 | 57 | 18 |
720 | I'm just waiting for the rest of the beach crowd to think it's shallow water | 1.3563 | 0.03836 | 261 | 188 | 53 | 20 |
721 | Wanna split it? | 1.3563 | 0.03759 | 261 | 186 | 57 | 18 |
722 | You could've at least brought dessert. | 1.3563 | 0.03719 | 261 | 185 | 59 | 17 |
723 | It lulls them into a false sense of security. | 1.3563 | 0.03557 | 261 | 181 | 67 | 13 |
724 | I'm taking home the leftovers. | 1.3563 | 0.03759 | 261 | 186 | 57 | 18 |
725 | I carry him with me in case my blood sugar drops and I have to eat something quick. | 1.3563 | 0.03639 | 261 | 183 | 63 | 15 |
726 | Leftovers. | 1.3553 | 0.04527 | 197 | 144 | 36 | 17 |
727 | I bought it on sale, it was Half Off. | 1.3552 | 0.03656 | 259 | 182 | 62 | 15 |
728 | I just ate his wife, it's the least I could do. | 1.3552 | 0.03816 | 259 | 186 | 54 | 19 |
729 | He says we can’t close until your lawyer is here too. | 1.3552 | 0.03855 | 259 | 187 | 52 | 20 |
730 | You gotta stop letting people walk all over you, Jeff | 1.3552 | 0.03816 | 259 | 186 | 54 | 19 |
731 | I'd feel guitly eating someone so stupid. | 1.3550 | 0.04090 | 231 | 167 | 46 | 18 |
732 | 5 second rule. | 1.3550 | 0.03704 | 231 | 162 | 58 | 11 |
733 | Something's been weighing on my mind recently ... | 1.3544 | 0.05085 | 158 | 116 | 28 | 14 |
734 | I told you vacationing at Sea World would be a mistake. | 1.3542 | 0.03981 | 240 | 173 | 49 | 18 |
735 | We're here for the Bar Association annual meeting. How about you? | 1.3542 | 0.03981 | 240 | 173 | 49 | 18 |
736 | Let him take a few selfies first. | 1.3541 | 0.03755 | 257 | 183 | 57 | 17 |
737 | It's a new game called 'Survival of the Idiot.' | 1.3541 | 0.03914 | 257 | 187 | 49 | 21 |
738 | No, no. On Fridays we can eat meat... | 1.3541 | 0.03755 | 257 | 183 | 57 | 17 |
739 | I’m sorry I am late but I picked up dinner on the way home. | 1.3541 | 0.03715 | 257 | 182 | 59 | 16 |
740 | Mr, Magoo here thinks I am a surf board. | 1.3541 | 0.03835 | 257 | 185 | 53 | 19 |
741 | And he's eating a tuna fish sandwich | 1.3541 | 0.03835 | 257 | 185 | 53 | 19 |
742 | I'm on the low ph diet. So I'll wait until he's finished peeing before I eat him. | 1.3541 | 0.03632 | 257 | 180 | 63 | 14 |
743 | My chiropractor said it’s good for my aching cartilage. | 1.3541 | 0.03547 | 257 | 178 | 67 | 12 |
744 | Of all the days to go vegan. | 1.3541 | 0.03914 | 257 | 187 | 49 | 21 |
745 | We're both warm blooded, but he's a lot dumber. | 1.3541 | 0.03875 | 257 | 186 | 51 | 20 |
746 | He’s started talking about his divorce and I just don’t have in me. | 1.3541 | 0.03611 | 257 | 187 | 52 | 18 |
747 | We do have a standing date for lunch, don't we? | 1.3541 | 0.03673 | 257 | 181 | 61 | 15 |
748 | tourist...am I right? | 1.3541 | 0.03755 | 257 | 183 | 57 | 17 |
749 | Money got a little tight so I signed up to be an Uber shark. | 1.3520 | 0.03988 | 250 | 183 | 46 | 21 |
750 | Gross. Callouses. | 1.3520 | 0.03907 | 250 | 181 | 50 | 19 |
751 | Sometimes I like to play with my food before I eat. | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
752 | I ate the other half. | 1.3520 | 0.03866 | 250 | 180 | 52 | 18 |
753 | It's white male privilege | 1.3520 | 0.03988 | 250 | 183 | 46 | 21 |
754 | He's taking a selfie right now, isn't he? | 1.3520 | 0.03652 | 250 | 175 | 62 | 13 |
755 | He's just finishing up his goodbyes. | 1.3520 | 0.03782 | 250 | 178 | 56 | 16 |
756 | I'm saving the bottom half for later. | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
757 | Get your own hood ornament! | 1.3520 | 0.04068 | 250 | 185 | 42 | 23 |
758 | Its an exercise in delaying gratification | 1.3520 | 0.03907 | 250 | 181 | 50 | 19 |
759 | Sometimes, it’s just too damn easy. | 1.3520 | 0.03824 | 250 | 179 | 54 | 17 |
760 | He's here to get a loan, | 1.3520 | 0.03866 | 250 | 180 | 52 | 18 |
761 | But you said to bring lunch | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
762 | It’s a SHARK TANK audition. | 1.3520 | 0.03866 | 250 | 180 | 52 | 18 |
763 | Quick question. Can I get sick from eating someone who's "going viral"? | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
764 | Of course I bring my own lunch. | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
765 | I was saving him for later. | 1.3520 | 0.03824 | 250 | 179 | 54 | 17 |
766 | Do I look like a surfboard? I don't feel like a surfboard. | 1.3520 | 0.03866 | 250 | 180 | 52 | 18 |
767 | We need a Jaws reboot to teach this generation some respect. | 1.3515 | 0.04270 | 202 | 145 | 43 | 14 |
768 | When should we tell him that he's not on a sandbar? | 1.3512 | 0.04338 | 205 | 149 | 40 | 16 |
769 | I need to work on my fear of confrontation. | 1.3496 | 0.03948 | 246 | 179 | 48 | 19 |
770 | I wouldn’t mind so much if he cut his toe nails. | 1.3496 | 0.03776 | 246 | 175 | 56 | 15 |
771 | It's just professional courtesy. He's a lawyer. | 1.3496 | 0.04031 | 246 | 181 | 44 | 21 |
772 | I work for Uber now... | 1.3496 | 0.03906 | 246 | 178 | 50 | 18 |
773 | Hang on a minute. He’s almost worked out that knot.” | 1.3496 | 0.03863 | 246 | 177 | 52 | 17 |
774 | Human Week is the worst. | 1.3496 | 0.03776 | 246 | 175 | 56 | 15 |
775 | I'm sick of you looking at me like I'm a piece of meat, Kyle." | 1.3496 | 0.03863 | 246 | 177 | 52 | 17 |
776 | April Fools! I ate the top half! | 1.3496 | 0.04031 | 246 | 181 | 44 | 21 |
777 | They call it shark-surfing. Want to help teach him a lesson? | 1.3496 | 0.03550 | 246 | 170 | 66 | 10 |
778 | This kind of thing only happens now that I'm vegetarian. | 1.3484 | 0.03705 | 244 | 172 | 59 | 13 |
779 | I ate the top half. I'm full. You want the rest? | 1.3484 | 0.04011 | 244 | 179 | 45 | 20 |
780 | Professional courtesy, he's my lawyer. | 1.3484 | 0.03883 | 244 | 176 | 51 | 17 |
781 | I'll give you an arm and a leg if you can knock him off my back. | 1.3484 | 0.03926 | 244 | 177 | 49 | 18 |
782 | Right now, I'm playing with my food | 1.3484 | 0.03817 | 244 | 177 | 50 | 17 |
783 | It's called Ashiatsu, and it's heaven... so don't even think about it. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 178 | 50 | 16 |
784 | WAY too skinny for me. You want him? | 1.3484 | 0.03926 | 244 | 177 | 49 | 18 |
785 | I'm gonna charge an arm and a leg for this. | 1.3484 | 0.04094 | 244 | 181 | 41 | 22 |
786 | It’s Spielberg. Again. | 1.3484 | 0.03705 | 244 | 176 | 51 | 16 |
787 | I packed my snack for the trip. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
788 | I'm saving the leftovers for tomorrow. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
789 | Well, I would eat him, but he's scratching that itch even my remoras can't get to. | 1.3484 | 0.03795 | 244 | 174 | 55 | 15 |
790 | So anger management is going well. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
791 | I know what you’re thinking but it kinda feels good. | 1.3484 | 0.03613 | 244 | 170 | 63 | 11 |
792 | You have no idea what this anger management class has done for me! | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
793 | He claims to be a pilot fish. | 1.3484 | 0.03969 | 244 | 178 | 47 | 19 |
794 | The dermatologist said it was benign. | 1.3484 | 0.03795 | 244 | 174 | 55 | 15 |
795 | I ate his surfboard and felt bad about it. | 1.3484 | 0.03659 | 244 | 171 | 61 | 12 |
796 | Back off. He’s my chum. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
797 | Bro, You can't eat him. It's Steven Spielberg! | 1.3484 | 0.03969 | 244 | 178 | 47 | 19 |
798 | Think cognitive dissonance. | 1.3478 | 0.04248 | 207 | 150 | 42 | 15 |
799 | It's a lure for boaters. I call it 'Bob'! | 1.3471 | 0.03385 | 242 | 174 | 56 | 12 |
800 | Hors d'oeuvre? | 1.3471 | 0.03485 | 242 | 171 | 60 | 11 |
801 | You go ahead. I'd prefer some finger food. | 1.3471 | 0.03990 | 242 | 177 | 46 | 19 |
802 | Augh, I caught it in NY. Long Island Sound is totally infested this time of year. | 1.3471 | 0.03903 | 242 | 175 | 50 | 17 |
803 | K. F. Sea had a special on their Thighs and Legs. | 1.3471 | 0.03677 | 242 | 174 | 54 | 14 |
804 | The tourists are here! | 1.3471 | 0.03723 | 242 | 171 | 58 | 13 |
805 | Those idiot resort dolphins talked me into this. | 1.3471 | 0.03859 | 242 | 174 | 52 | 16 |
806 | When you have kids, you'll know it's always important to carry some snacks with you. | 1.3471 | 0.03990 | 242 | 177 | 46 | 19 |
807 | Less scary when it's not a fin sticking out of the water | 1.3471 | 0.03814 | 242 | 173 | 54 | 15 |
808 | Look,I saved HALF for you! | 1.3471 | 0.03769 | 242 | 172 | 56 | 14 |
809 | What? Do I have something stuck in my teeth? | 1.3471 | 0.03947 | 242 | 176 | 48 | 18 |
810 | Crazy, 30 minutes walking on my back and I’m completely relaxed....I may not even eat him | 1.3463 | 0.03739 | 231 | 167 | 50 | 14 |
811 | Well, I guess I'm just more of a people pleaser than you. | 1.3458 | 0.03923 | 240 | 174 | 49 | 17 |
812 | The skinny ones aren't as tender, but they usually have fewer preservatives. | 1.3458 | 0.03834 | 240 | 172 | 53 | 15 |
813 | I'm his Emotional Support Animal....but you're not. | 1.3458 | 0.04055 | 240 | 177 | 43 | 20 |
814 | I swear, if they give dolphins credit for this, I'm eating the next one. | 1.3458 | 0.04011 | 240 | 176 | 45 | 19 |
815 | I invited him to dinner. I don't think he quite understood the repercussions. | 1.3458 | 0.03879 | 240 | 173 | 51 | 16 |
816 | They are dumber than I thought | 1.3458 | 0.03968 | 240 | 175 | 47 | 18 |
817 | They say if I stop swimming he’ll die. | 1.3458 | 0.03968 | 240 | 175 | 47 | 18 |
818 | My lawyer got the charge reduced to an “investigatory bite” provided I go through a tourist tolerance course | 1.3458 | 0.03834 | 240 | 172 | 53 | 15 |
819 | I brought carry-out. | 1.3458 | 0.04055 | 240 | 177 | 43 | 20 |
820 | I was an extra in Sharknado 6. True story. | 1.3458 | 0.03695 | 240 | 169 | 59 | 12 |
821 | “These millennials are so entitled.” | 1.3458 | 0.03834 | 240 | 172 | 53 | 15 |
822 | Some days being a vegan is harder than others. | 1.3450 | 0.04005 | 229 | 166 | 47 | 16 |
823 | They are completely unaware while posing for selfies. | 1.3448 | 0.03969 | 232 | 168 | 48 | 16 |
824 | I didn’t have the heart to tell him he can’t walk on water. | 1.3448 | 0.03921 | 232 | 167 | 50 | 15 |
825 | What was that movie that Grandpa starred in called again? | 1.3448 | 0.03776 | 232 | 164 | 56 | 12 |
826 | He isn't organic, but he is free range. | 1.3448 | 0.03921 | 232 | 167 | 50 | 15 |
827 | It is a fake! I use it to lure swimmers out where I can eat them. | 1.3448 | 0.04062 | 232 | 170 | 44 | 18 |
828 | Took you long enough, did you grab the fork and napkins? | 1.3448 | 0.03969 | 232 | 168 | 48 | 16 |
829 | I always wanted a periscope, | 1.3445 | 0.03944 | 238 | 173 | 48 | 17 |
830 | He thinks I’m a dolphin. | 1.3445 | 0.03713 | 238 | 168 | 58 | 12 |
831 | Yeah, I know, but I’m hoping he has a beer gut. | 1.3445 | 0.03899 | 238 | 172 | 50 | 16 |
832 | He thinks I'm a lone shark. | 1.3445 | 0.03807 | 238 | 170 | 54 | 14 |
833 | He's a lawyer. | 1.3445 | 0.03853 | 238 | 171 | 52 | 15 |
834 | I got mine to go. | 1.3445 | 0.03807 | 238 | 170 | 54 | 14 |
835 | I just ate the top half, it scares the daylights outta them! | 1.3445 | 0.04033 | 238 | 175 | 44 | 19 |
836 | I brought dinner home. | 1.3445 | 0.03899 | 238 | 172 | 50 | 16 |
837 | Once again, looks like you got more of it on you than in you. | 1.3445 | 0.03616 | 238 | 177 | 48 | 13 |
838 | Do you smell something? | 1.3445 | 0.04098 | 238 | 179 | 37 | 22 |
839 | Working for Uber is so so, but the tips are pretty tasty. | 1.3445 | 0.04033 | 238 | 175 | 44 | 19 |
840 | Is he wild or farm raised? | 1.3445 | 0.03989 | 238 | 174 | 46 | 18 |
841 | Give a shark a man and it eats for today. Teach a shark to lure other men and ... well you get the idea. | 1.3445 | 0.03899 | 238 | 172 | 50 | 16 |
842 | Best.decoy.ever. | 1.3445 | 0.03989 | 238 | 174 | 46 | 18 |
843 | Sometimes they're just asking for it. | 1.3445 | 0.03807 | 238 | 170 | 54 | 14 |
844 | No, I'm actually a hammer toe | 1.3445 | 0.03807 | 238 | 170 | 54 | 14 |
845 | Watch this. If a dog can do it with a treat on his nose... | 1.3445 | 0.03989 | 238 | 174 | 46 | 18 |
846 | Tell me honestly, do you think I have started to lose my killer instinct? | 1.3445 | 0.03899 | 238 | 172 | 50 | 16 |
847 | Yeah, so I’ve been Uber-ing on the weekends. | 1.3445 | 0.03944 | 238 | 173 | 48 | 17 |
848 | I like to fool people into thinking this is the shallow end of the pool. | 1.3445 | 0.03665 | 238 | 167 | 60 | 11 |
849 | I got it through Amazon. You blow it up and they can't see your fin. | 1.3445 | 0.03944 | 238 | 173 | 48 | 17 |
850 | Can you see if he's wearing a Yankees hat? | 1.3445 | 0.03944 | 238 | 173 | 48 | 17 |
851 | He’s waving frantically, right? Good. His friends will arrive soon and then we’ll REALLY have a feast. | 1.3445 | 0.03899 | 238 | 172 | 50 | 16 |
852 | Wait, that’s what chum means? | 1.3442 | 0.03970 | 215 | 153 | 50 | 12 |
853 | Summer people. | 1.3435 | 0.04038 | 230 | 168 | 45 | 17 |
854 | I'm his emotional support shark. Really. | 1.3435 | 0.03990 | 230 | 167 | 47 | 16 |
855 | I'm full. I'm taking this half home for the wife. | 1.3435 | 0.03942 | 230 | 168 | 46 | 16 |
856 | Wanna come over to my place? I have takeout | 1.3435 | 0.03894 | 230 | 165 | 51 | 14 |
857 | I'm sorry I ever got friendly with a lifeguard. I can't get him off my back. | 1.3435 | 0.03795 | 230 | 163 | 55 | 12 |
858 | I know, but he's nice and I'm so done with being dangerous. | 1.3434 | 0.04490 | 198 | 147 | 34 | 17 |
859 | He’s working on a hamburger up there. I’m trying to fatten him up. | 1.3432 | 0.03919 | 236 | 171 | 49 | 16 |
860 | All I could find for lunch was this take-out | 1.3432 | 0.03731 | 236 | 167 | 57 | 12 |
861 | I'm telling you, it's Spielberg. He's casting Son of Jaws and wants to see what I can do. | 1.3432 | 0.03731 | 236 | 167 | 57 | 12 |
862 | Why do I always end up carrying all the groceries in? | 1.3432 | 0.04099 | 236 | 175 | 41 | 20 |
863 | You go ahead...they get stuck in my teeth. | 1.3432 | 0.03682 | 236 | 166 | 59 | 11 |
864 | When the rides over, he'll know it. | 1.3432 | 0.03826 | 236 | 169 | 53 | 14 |
865 | Which leg do you want? | 1.3432 | 0.03779 | 236 | 168 | 55 | 13 |
866 | Trust me; this is the most humane way. | 1.3432 | 0.03873 | 236 | 170 | 51 | 15 |
867 | He scratches the spot I can't reach. | 1.3432 | 0.03583 | 236 | 164 | 63 | 9 |
868 | Apparently we're serial predators and need to create a less-hostile beach environment. | 1.3432 | 0.03803 | 236 | 171 | 50 | 15 |
869 | I've been waiting on you. Which leg do you want. | 1.3432 | 0.03731 | 236 | 167 | 57 | 12 |
870 | Da dumb, da dumb, da dumb | 1.3432 | 0.03965 | 236 | 172 | 47 | 17 |
871 | He promised me a part in a movie. | 1.3432 | 0.03731 | 236 | 170 | 54 | 12 |
872 | Of course it's degrading. But Sea World auditions, here I come. | 1.3432 | 0.03965 | 236 | 172 | 47 | 17 |
873 | Don't ask. He's an admissions officer at USC. | 1.3432 | 0.03873 | 236 | 170 | 51 | 15 |
874 | Now you jump the human. | 1.3432 | 0.03919 | 236 | 171 | 49 | 16 |
875 | I got the patch. I'm trying to quit. | 1.3432 | 0.03919 | 236 | 171 | 49 | 16 |
876 | Did I mention he is now topless. | 1.3432 | 0.03507 | 236 | 170 | 54 | 12 |
877 | Strong under-toe this time of year, huh? | 1.3432 | 0.03942 | 236 | 174 | 44 | 18 |
878 | He thinks he's standing in shallow water. | 1.3421 | 0.04060 | 228 | 167 | 44 | 17 |
879 | Now watch carefully, Andy, next comes the fun part. | 1.3421 | 0.03964 | 228 | 165 | 48 | 15 |
880 | I couldn't finish the bottom half, so I'm taking it home for later. | 1.3421 | 0.04154 | 228 | 169 | 40 | 19 |
881 | Uber Eats at your service! | 1.3421 | 0.04012 | 228 | 166 | 46 | 16 |
882 | It started out as a wart on my dorsal. | 1.3421 | 0.04012 | 228 | 166 | 46 | 16 |
883 | In the mood for a slider? | 1.3421 | 0.04060 | 228 | 167 | 44 | 17 |
884 | See! Humans ARE dumb enough to use UberShark. | 1.3421 | 0.04084 | 228 | 170 | 39 | 19 |
885 | It's part of a new program to change our image. | 1.3421 | 0.03865 | 228 | 163 | 52 | 13 |
886 | I promised him a ride before lunch. | 1.3421 | 0.03815 | 228 | 164 | 51 | 13 |
887 | It's the pizza guy with dinner. I had a swimmer for lunch. | 1.3421 | 0.03764 | 228 | 161 | 56 | 11 |
888 | I've got humans. You should get yourself checked. | 1.3421 | 0.03764 | 228 | 161 | 56 | 11 |
889 | Do you prefer the leg or thigh? | 1.3421 | 0.03764 | 228 | 161 | 56 | 11 |
890 | She asked me to grab some carryout tonight. | 1.3421 | 0.03865 | 228 | 163 | 52 | 13 |
891 | This is so embarrassing. Tell the dolphins we want to switch back. | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
892 | My therapist says I'm a little too empathetic. | 1.3419 | 0.03675 | 234 | 167 | 55 | 12 |
893 | It was my turn to bring lunch, wasn't it? | 1.3419 | 0.03940 | 234 | 170 | 48 | 16 |
894 | The massage is very relaxing, but I'm looking forward to the happy ending. | 1.3419 | 0.03940 | 234 | 170 | 48 | 16 |
895 | I told you Felix, you have to eat at least one or they’ll walk all over you. | 1.3419 | 0.03700 | 234 | 165 | 58 | 11 |
896 | Yeah, but my back has never felt better." | 1.3419 | 0.03846 | 234 | 168 | 52 | 14 |
897 | He's so asking for it. | 1.3419 | 0.03700 | 234 | 165 | 58 | 11 |
898 | I don't know why. Some guy named Jesus asked me to do this. | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
899 | With this stunt, I think we've finally jumped the shark! | 1.3419 | 0.03846 | 234 | 168 | 52 | 14 |
900 | I'm a victim of compassion | 1.3419 | 0.03940 | 234 | 170 | 48 | 16 |
901 | Well, you know the old expression, "Ignorance is bliss- until it's not." | 1.3419 | 0.03846 | 234 | 168 | 52 | 14 |
902 | Has he never seen Jaws? | 1.3419 | 0.03893 | 234 | 169 | 50 | 15 |
903 | Don't eat him till he finishes rubbing my back. | 1.3419 | 0.03798 | 234 | 167 | 54 | 13 |
904 | Everyone has baggage. | 1.3419 | 0.03798 | 234 | 167 | 54 | 13 |
905 | He's my old chum. | 1.3419 | 0.04210 | 234 | 176 | 36 | 22 |
906 | Dinner will be ready in fifteen … | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
907 | Today's special is the Surf and Turf | 1.3419 | 0.04078 | 234 | 173 | 42 | 19 |
908 | Flip for it? | 1.3419 | 0.03470 | 234 | 173 | 47 | 14 |
909 | Looks like you get the bottom half. | 1.3419 | 0.03798 | 234 | 167 | 54 | 13 |
910 | You ordered a medium,with no anchovies,right? | 1.3419 | 0.03700 | 234 | 165 | 58 | 11 |
911 | He’s on his mobile. Doesn’t realize the sand bar is now moving | 1.3419 | 0.03940 | 234 | 170 | 48 | 16 |
912 | The secret is to brine the legs. | 1.3419 | 0.03940 | 234 | 170 | 48 | 16 |
913 | I’m waiting for my musical cue. | 1.3419 | 0.04032 | 234 | 172 | 44 | 18 |
914 | What really irks me is that if our positions were reversed, they'd harpoon my ass. | 1.3419 | 0.03846 | 234 | 173 | 45 | 16 |
915 | The ‘swim-with-the-sharks’ folks have really become entitled. | 1.3419 | 0.04078 | 234 | 173 | 42 | 19 |
916 | Of course I'm not happy with this relationship. I always have the feeling he's looking out for something better. | 1.3419 | 0.03650 | 234 | 169 | 52 | 13 |
917 | It's crazy, but he looks out for me. | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
918 | “Some body’s a little more than knee deep in troubled waters.” | 1.3419 | 0.03700 | 234 | 165 | 58 | 11 |
919 | I hate it when they take all the challenge out of it. | 1.3419 | 0.03798 | 234 | 167 | 54 | 13 |
920 | You were late, so it’s Take Out. | 1.3419 | 0.03893 | 234 | 169 | 50 | 15 |
921 | Is this the future of climate change? | 1.3413 | 0.04277 | 208 | 153 | 39 | 16 |
922 | I type feet porn in to google ONE TIME and now I get this everyday. | 1.3407 | 0.04083 | 226 | 166 | 43 | 17 |
923 | I said I’d split it with you... | 1.3407 | 0.03985 | 226 | 164 | 47 | 15 |
924 | I think it helps our image. | 1.3407 | 0.04369 | 182 | 131 | 40 | 11 |
925 | And me without my Grey Poupon. | 1.3405 | 0.03866 | 232 | 167 | 51 | 14 |
926 | Sure, I could eat him, but as an Uber driver I can't really afford the lower rating." | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 168 | 50 | 14 |
927 | I'm gonna swish this guy right offa my fin, and send him on his way." | 1.3405 | 0.03512 | 232 | 176 | 42 | 14 |
928 | Want to hear about my new balanced diet? | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 166 | 53 | 13 |
929 | He's lucky I already ate a quarter flounder for lunch | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 166 | 53 | 13 |
930 | But he's nothing but skin and bones! | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 166 | 53 | 13 |
931 | I don't like their taste, but I love the naïveté. | 1.3405 | 0.04100 | 232 | 172 | 41 | 19 |
932 | Do you prefer the breast or the thigh? | 1.3405 | 0.03866 | 232 | 167 | 51 | 14 |
933 | Market price is $8.99/lb. | 1.3405 | 0.03914 | 232 | 168 | 49 | 15 |
934 | I've been swimming for Swyft a few months now, and posting reviews of my clients on Gulp. | 1.3405 | 0.03961 | 232 | 169 | 47 | 16 |
935 | Don’t worry about fixing dinner. I brought home takeout. | 1.3405 | 0.04146 | 232 | 173 | 39 | 20 |
936 | I had a hat like that last week. | 1.3405 | 0.04190 | 232 | 174 | 37 | 21 |
937 | Ew! Get it off me, get it off me! | 1.3405 | 0.03914 | 232 | 168 | 49 | 15 |
938 | I need to learn to use the word “no” more often. | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 166 | 53 | 13 |
939 | Our deal: Skinny lawyer calls for help and we eat tender lifeguard. | 1.3405 | 0.03866 | 232 | 167 | 51 | 14 |
940 | You bring the salad, I’ve got the main course | 1.3405 | 0.03866 | 232 | 167 | 51 | 14 |
941 | You’re my witness. This one was provoked. | 1.3405 | 0.04054 | 232 | 171 | 43 | 18 |
942 | I think he’s confused me with a dolphin. | 1.3405 | 0.04008 | 232 | 170 | 45 | 17 |
943 | They said 'Don't go near shore' . Did I listen - Nooo… | 1.3405 | 0.03817 | 232 | 166 | 53 | 13 |
944 | He thinks I'm his attorney. | 1.3405 | 0.04100 | 232 | 172 | 41 | 19 |
945 | With the orcas leaving, there’s an opening at SeaWorld.” | 1.3401 | 0.05153 | 147 | 109 | 26 | 12 |
946 | No thanks, I'm full of plastic bags. | 1.3395 | 0.03962 | 215 | 154 | 49 | 12 |
947 | He thinks I'm a sandbar. Make a wish. | 1.3395 | 0.03464 | 215 | 165 | 39 | 11 |
948 | He's not just a friend, he's my best chum. | 1.3395 | 0.04329 | 215 | 161 | 35 | 19 |
949 | On the other hand, my back has never felt better. | 1.3395 | 0.04070 | 215 | 156 | 45 | 14 |
950 | I regret going vegan. | 1.3395 | 0.04278 | 215 | 160 | 37 | 18 |
951 | I like to play with my food first. | 1.3391 | 0.04030 | 230 | 169 | 44 | 17 |
952 | Why do I always have to carry the decoy? | 1.3391 | 0.03886 | 230 | 166 | 50 | 14 |
953 | His balance is unnerving. | 1.3391 | 0.03528 | 230 | 159 | 64 | 7 |
954 | I always use the skinny ones as bait. | 1.3391 | 0.03634 | 230 | 161 | 60 | 9 |
955 | Excuse me, did you order the caucasian male? | 1.3391 | 0.03686 | 230 | 162 | 58 | 10 |
956 | You said we weren't exchanging gifts this year! | 1.3391 | 0.03983 | 230 | 168 | 46 | 16 |
957 | I'll eat him after my massage. | 1.3391 | 0.03983 | 230 | 168 | 46 | 16 |
958 | Just picking up a little takeout for the family. | 1.3391 | 0.03886 | 230 | 166 | 50 | 14 |
959 | Sure, it’s humiliating, but it feels great! | 1.3391 | 0.03837 | 230 | 165 | 52 | 13 |
960 | Let's flip him for it. | 1.3391 | 0.03686 | 230 | 162 | 58 | 10 |
961 | I'm packing my lunch today. | 1.3391 | 0.03787 | 230 | 164 | 54 | 12 |
962 | He thought I was just a helpful dolphin and now I’m afraid to tell him the truth | 1.3391 | 0.03737 | 230 | 163 | 56 | 11 |
963 | C'mon, when do we let him know we're not dolphins ? | 1.3391 | 0.03837 | 230 | 165 | 52 | 13 |
964 | Tee-hee, he thinks he's still on his surfboard... | 1.3391 | 0.03837 | 230 | 165 | 52 | 13 |
965 | I got carryout. | 1.3391 | 0.03787 | 230 | 164 | 54 | 12 |
966 | Sometimes they tip, sometimes I eat them. | 1.3391 | 0.04123 | 230 | 171 | 40 | 19 |
967 | My wife insisted I bring my own lunch to work... | 1.3391 | 0.03935 | 230 | 167 | 48 | 15 |
968 | You wanna hear the punchline or are you going to keep interrupting me? | 1.3391 | 0.03983 | 230 | 168 | 46 | 16 |
969 | After the backrub, I'll have my lunch. | 1.3391 | 0.03935 | 230 | 167 | 48 | 15 |
970 | Sometimes I pity their naiveté. | 1.3378 | 0.03992 | 225 | 164 | 46 | 15 |
971 | I would kill him if I didn’t respect him. | 1.3378 | 0.03788 | 225 | 160 | 54 | 11 |
972 | Where the hell have you been? My shift's been over for 5 minutes. | 1.3378 | 0.03942 | 225 | 163 | 48 | 14 |
973 | No, he’s not a lawyer. He’s my agent. | 1.3370 | 0.04660 | 184 | 138 | 30 | 16 |
974 | Think of it as bait. | 1.3363 | 0.03826 | 226 | 162 | 52 | 12 |
975 | I can't seem to shake the feeling that I've been taken for a ride. | 1.3363 | 0.03774 | 226 | 161 | 54 | 11 |
976 | I've got a foot fetish. | 1.3333 | 0.03955 | 219 | 159 | 47 | 13 |
977 | You forgot to pack a lunch? | 1.3333 | 0.04161 | 219 | 163 | 39 | 17 |
978 | Another lawyer catching a free ride. | 1.3333 | 0.04007 | 219 | 160 | 45 | 14 |
979 | Yeah, a stand up comic, but I'll get the last laugh. | 1.3333 | 0.03955 | 219 | 159 | 47 | 13 |
980 | 'cuz you are what you eat | 1.3333 | 0.04679 | 186 | 141 | 28 | 17 |
981 | It's supposed to be a decoy that attracts other swimmers. | 1.3333 | 0.04059 | 219 | 161 | 43 | 15 |
982 | It's Barnacle Bill again. | 1.3333 | 0.04010 | 186 | 140 | 35 | 11 |
983 | I hope you don't mind fast food tonight. | 1.3333 | 0.04161 | 219 | 163 | 39 | 17 |
984 | You want the leg or the breast? | 1.3333 | 0.03737 | 219 | 155 | 55 | 9 |
985 | What hood ornament?" | 1.3333 | 0.04007 | 219 | 160 | 45 | 14 |
986 | Just when he thought it was safe to go back in the water. | 1.3333 | 0.04007 | 219 | 160 | 45 | 14 |
987 | I know, Mom, "quit playing with my food." | 1.3333 | 0.04059 | 219 | 161 | 43 | 15 |
988 | Say what you will, but I believe finding a friend trumps finding a meal. | 1.3333 | 0.03955 | 219 | 159 | 47 | 13 |
989 | Take a good look. He's about to undergo an Extreme Mako-ver. | 1.3333 | 0.04211 | 219 | 164 | 37 | 18 |
990 | I just can't bring myself to eat him. I like the thrill of the hunt. | 1.3333 | 0.04007 | 219 | 160 | 45 | 14 |
991 | It's a new ride-share offering by Uber. | 1.3318 | 0.03868 | 217 | 156 | 50 | 11 |
992 | How many times have I told you to not play with your dinner? | 1.3318 | 0.03812 | 217 | 155 | 52 | 10 |
993 | You want him? I'm still digesting his wife. | 1.3318 | 0.04134 | 217 | 161 | 40 | 16 |
994 | I stopped eating meat but I can't seem to get it off my mind. | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
995 | I always like to bring my own lunch to school. | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
996 | Allow me to cull this one from the herd. | 1.3318 | 0.03640 | 217 | 152 | 58 | 7 |
997 | I'm saving this half for dinner. | 1.3318 | 0.03922 | 217 | 157 | 48 | 12 |
998 | Yeah, the ashiatsu massage helps temporarily but I think taking human cartilage supplements is what has truly healed my arthritis. | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
999 | Yeah, I'm going to eat him, but right now this feels AMAZING on my sciatica. | 1.3318 | 0.03976 | 217 | 158 | 46 | 13 |
1000 | I think I’ve been attacked by a hammertoe. | 1.3318 | 0.04082 | 217 | 160 | 42 | 15 |
1001 | I told you I'd find my sea legs! | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
1002 | He thinks he's wading. I hate to disappoint him. | 1.3318 | 0.03976 | 217 | 158 | 46 | 13 |
1003 | Just saving this for dessert. | 1.3318 | 0.04082 | 217 | 160 | 42 | 15 |
1004 | Well I'm hungry, too, but this really gets the kinks out of my back. | 1.3318 | 0.03976 | 217 | 158 | 46 | 13 |
1005 | Free fish or not, if this crowd sings BABY SHARK one more time... | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
1006 | He must be a Republican | 1.3318 | 0.04336 | 217 | 165 | 32 | 20 |
1007 | I wasn't in the mood to cook tonight ... so I just ordered in. | 1.3318 | 0.03976 | 217 | 158 | 46 | 13 |
1008 | You just move like a surfboard until your hungry. | 1.3318 | 0.04108 | 211 | 155 | 42 | 14 |
1009 | It's for a documentary. | 1.3318 | 0.04053 | 211 | 154 | 44 | 13 |
1010 | Law of attraction, my friend. | 1.3318 | 0.04216 | 211 | 157 | 38 | 16 |
1011 | Can you believe this guy doesn’t clip his toenails before hitting the beach? | 1.3318 | 0.04270 | 211 | 158 | 36 | 17 |
1012 | I signed up as an uber driver. | 1.3318 | 0.04053 | 211 | 154 | 44 | 13 |
1013 | Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all: 'I hear you should always eat a balanced diet'; 'It's good to support your food choices; or 'He's a lawyer; professional courtesy'... Let's hope the winning entry is more original! | 1.3318 | 0.04053 | 211 | 159 | 36 | 16 |
1014 | I'm brown bagging it today. | 1.3318 | 0.03764 | 211 | 149 | 54 | 8 |
1015 | I got a job as a surfboard. | 1.3318 | 0.03823 | 211 | 150 | 52 | 9 |
1016 | ...and if I balance him on my head for 10 seconds, then toss him up and catch him, I win the bet, right? | 1.3318 | 0.03940 | 211 | 152 | 48 | 11 |
1017 | I liked it better in the Jaws era when we got some respect. | 1.3318 | 0.04108 | 211 | 155 | 42 | 14 |
1018 | It's how big? That's odd because it feels more like two feet to me. | 1.3318 | 0.03418 | 211 | 151 | 53 | 7 |
1019 | Get your own Lean Cuisine. | 1.3318 | 0.03940 | 211 | 152 | 48 | 11 |
1020 | I joined Uber's new water program. If I don't get five stars, I eat him. | 1.3318 | 0.04053 | 211 | 154 | 44 | 13 |
1021 | They pee on us every day and then wonder why we’re so mean. | 1.3318 | 0.04108 | 211 | 155 | 42 | 14 |
1022 | A lot of trouble for toothpicks. | 1.3318 | 0.04163 | 211 | 156 | 40 | 15 |
1023 | Freeloader. | 1.3318 | 0.03764 | 211 | 149 | 54 | 8 |
1024 | I know, I know... I’m going to the dermatologist to get it checked out. | 1.3318 | 0.04053 | 211 | 154 | 44 | 13 |
1025 | I like to weigh my food first...you know portion control. | 1.3318 | 0.03940 | 211 | 152 | 48 | 11 |
1026 | Let him finish his text. | 1.3318 | 0.03940 | 211 | 152 | 48 | 11 |
1027 | "You want half?" | 1.3318 | 0.03764 | 211 | 149 | 54 | 8 |
1028 | No, he's the one who needs a bigger boat. | 1.3318 | 0.03940 | 211 | 152 | 48 | 11 |
1029 | Was the top half tasty? | 1.3302 | 0.03832 | 215 | 154 | 51 | 10 |
1030 | It's like Uber Eats only quicker. | 1.3302 | 0.04106 | 215 | 159 | 41 | 15 |
1031 | I like to start with a false sense of security! | 1.3302 | 0.03944 | 215 | 156 | 47 | 12 |
1032 | Suddenly, he's not half the man he used to be, oh yesterday came suddenly. | 1.3302 | 0.03998 | 215 | 157 | 45 | 13 |
1033 | He’s holding me down. I’m very bloated. | 1.3302 | 0.03944 | 215 | 156 | 47 | 12 |
1034 | He calls it "shark surfing," I call it "toppings." | 1.3302 | 0.04106 | 215 | 159 | 41 | 15 |
1035 | This is what I get for hiring a reputation management consultant. | 1.3302 | 0.03832 | 215 | 154 | 51 | 10 |
1036 | It's not my fault you ate your chiropractor. | 1.3302 | 0.04106 | 215 | 159 | 41 | 15 |
1037 | Watch this! I saw a dog do it. They put a biscuit on his nose and... | 1.3302 | 0.03998 | 215 | 157 | 45 | 13 |
1038 | She's a lawyer, so it's a professional courtesy on my part. | 1.3302 | 0.04106 | 215 | 159 | 41 | 15 |
1039 | In a minute he's going to discover there's another definition of 'chum'. | 1.3302 | 0.03998 | 215 | 157 | 45 | 13 |
1040 | Don't tell me I never bring you gifts. | 1.3302 | 0.03832 | 215 | 154 | 51 | 10 |
1041 | It's the new rideshare, 'Unter'. | 1.3302 | 0.04461 | 215 | 166 | 27 | 22 |
1042 | I've tried everything. I have an appointment with my dermatologest next week to have it removed | 1.3302 | 0.04106 | 215 | 159 | 41 | 15 |
1043 | He said his big brother was, like, twice as fat. So, we are going over to where he’s swimming. | 1.3302 | 0.03944 | 215 | 156 | 47 | 12 |
1044 | You take the left, I'll take the right | 1.3301 | 0.03961 | 209 | 151 | 47 | 11 |
1045 | Well he was floundering and I don’t care what Spielberg says, I’m no monster | 1.3301 | 0.04296 | 209 | 157 | 35 | 17 |
1046 | I know we said we weren't going to eat any humans this summer but if he starts to pee I'm gonna lose it... | 1.3301 | 0.03844 | 209 | 154 | 44 | 11 |
1047 | I decided to pack a lunch today. | 1.3301 | 0.03903 | 209 | 150 | 49 | 10 |
1048 | It sounds like screaming, but that's just the sound they make when dropped in the water | 1.3301 | 0.04019 | 209 | 152 | 45 | 12 |
1049 | It's okay. I appreciate not being stereotyped. | 1.3301 | 0.03844 | 209 | 149 | 51 | 9 |
1050 | Okay, Okay, Okay...I am a humanitarian...Is there a problem? | 1.3301 | 0.03783 | 209 | 148 | 53 | 8 |
1051 | Why can't I play with my food? | 1.3301 | 0.04076 | 209 | 153 | 43 | 13 |
1052 | Dolphins, yes, but I also blame the breakdown of traditional aquatic values. | 1.3286 | 0.04235 | 213 | 160 | 36 | 17 |
1053 | How was the top half? | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1054 | No, really, it's the best invertebrate deep tissue massage there is. | 1.3286 | 0.04183 | 213 | 159 | 38 | 16 |
1055 | No, leave him alone. He's really helping my back problem. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1056 | As a lawyer, he is one of us. | 1.3286 | 0.04235 | 213 | 160 | 36 | 17 |
1057 | The fin isn't intimidating anymore | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1058 | The Dr. said take two of these and call him in the morning. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1059 | I’m saving half my snack for later. | 1.3286 | 0.04183 | 213 | 159 | 38 | 16 |
1060 | It's my emotional support prey. | 1.3286 | 0.04129 | 213 | 158 | 40 | 15 |
1061 | First a massage, then dinner. | 1.3286 | 0.04183 | 213 | 159 | 38 | 16 |
1062 | I just can't shake this feeling that I'm missing the obvious. | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1063 | Do you want to tell him? | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1064 | It just started out as a barnacle.... | 1.3286 | 0.03823 | 213 | 155 | 47 | 11 |
1065 | So here I am, asking the Sea Witch to give me legs... | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1066 | I had to give him a minute because he wants a selfie. | 1.3286 | 0.04235 | 213 | 160 | 36 | 17 |
1067 | I wasn’t hungry so I got it to go | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1068 | I'm saving it for a mid-afternoon snack. | 1.3286 | 0.04129 | 213 | 158 | 40 | 15 |
1069 | I just remembered why we never stop swimming. | 1.3286 | 0.03965 | 213 | 155 | 46 | 12 |
1070 | Peek up there and see if anyone's noticed the top half is missing. | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1071 | I want to eat him but hes growing on me.... | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1072 | I don't know if I should eat him or enjoy the back massage. | 1.3286 | 0.03794 | 213 | 159 | 42 | 12 |
1073 | Nothing quite like a foot massage and then dinner. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1074 | White men can’t jump. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1075 | I’m just going to eat in today. I brought my lunch. | 1.3286 | 0.04129 | 213 | 158 | 40 | 15 |
1076 | I feel responsible for him now. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1077 | I brought you the fresh catch of the day | 1.3286 | 0.03965 | 213 | 155 | 46 | 12 |
1078 | Ironically, he's a shark spotter. | 1.3286 | 0.03794 | 213 | 152 | 52 | 9 |
1079 | I know it's dangerous, but I just love the thrill of it all. | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1080 | He's an attorney and my mentor. | 1.3286 | 0.04129 | 213 | 158 | 40 | 15 |
1081 | You already had your half. | 1.3286 | 0.04235 | 213 | 160 | 36 | 17 |
1082 | What? Do I have a booger or something? | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1083 | Wait'll you see his face when he realizes he's not on a rock. | 1.3286 | 0.03675 | 213 | 155 | 48 | 10 |
1084 | And we would have been on TV too, if Alabama Public Television didn't take exception to the fact that we're both male. | 1.3286 | 0.04287 | 213 | 161 | 34 | 18 |
1085 | I'm taking him home for dinner. | 1.3286 | 0.03909 | 213 | 154 | 48 | 11 |
1086 | He's a human who can stand sharks, so I support him. | 1.3286 | 0.03794 | 213 | 152 | 52 | 9 |
1087 | Don't look at me like that. He'll be more tender not so worn out. | 1.3286 | 0.03852 | 213 | 153 | 50 | 10 |
1088 | I feel as though I’ve got a monkey on my back. | 1.3286 | 0.03852 | 213 | 153 | 50 | 10 |
1089 | He's an old chum of mine. | 1.3286 | 0.03794 | 213 | 152 | 52 | 9 |
1090 | We actually get along ok; he's a lawyer. | 1.3286 | 0.04183 | 213 | 159 | 38 | 16 |
1091 | I learned it from a duck hunter I ate. | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1092 | Make all the fun you want—my chiropractor said it'll help! | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1093 | Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.' | 1.3286 | 0.03794 | 213 | 152 | 52 | 9 |
1094 | I get hypoglycemic. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1095 | It's the best kind of hood ornament--edible. | 1.3286 | 0.04075 | 213 | 157 | 42 | 14 |
1096 | Because he asked politely. | 1.3286 | 0.03852 | 213 | 153 | 50 | 10 |
1097 | Hop on," I said. "Come join the circle of life. | 1.3286 | 0.04021 | 213 | 156 | 44 | 13 |
1098 | I just couldn't. It's Bobby Darin. | 1.3286 | 0.04183 | 213 | 159 | 38 | 16 |
1099 | His idea is to jump from one of us to the other and back, for the idiots watching through the glass. Let's drop him. | 1.3284 | 0.05482 | 134 | 102 | 20 | 12 |
1100 | He wants to compete but can't afford a surfboard | 1.3271 | 0.04218 | 214 | 161 | 36 | 17 |
1101 | These Internet challenges are getting out of hand! | 1.3270 | 0.04313 | 211 | 160 | 33 | 18 |
1102 | If you like bones start with his feet. | 1.3270 | 0.03872 | 211 | 152 | 49 | 10 |
1103 | Sorry I already ate the top half. | 1.3270 | 0.04365 | 211 | 161 | 31 | 19 |
1104 | I swear, if he calls me Flipper one more time... | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1105 | Suit yourself, but Shiatsu is the only thing that restores my Qi. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1106 | I can't believe you ate yours already. We were supposed to meet for dinner. | 1.3270 | 0.04207 | 211 | 158 | 37 | 16 |
1107 | Amazon delivery of your Mako-at-Home Meal Kit | 1.3270 | 0.03505 | 211 | 151 | 53 | 7 |
1108 | It was either him . . . or a tracking collar! | 1.3270 | 0.03872 | 211 | 152 | 49 | 10 |
1109 | I 'm saving the other half for later | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 158 | 39 | 14 |
1110 | Doesn’t he hear the music? | 1.3270 | 0.04313 | 211 | 160 | 33 | 18 |
1111 | I put in a standing order for meat, and this is what happened. | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1112 | I like the skin nice and crispy. | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1113 | You asked for take-out. | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1114 | How did they ever dominate the world when they are not that bright! | 1.3270 | 0.03872 | 211 | 152 | 49 | 10 |
1115 | Ok, stop messing with me . You seriously don’t see anything at all on my back? I sure as heck feel something | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1116 | I have to take these leftovers home for the newborn. | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1117 | Just watch. This will go viral. | 1.3270 | 0.04043 | 211 | 155 | 43 | 13 |
1118 | It's symbiotic. He gets chicks, and I eat them. | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1119 | I am getting cold feet | 1.3270 | 0.03813 | 211 | 151 | 51 | 9 |
1120 | I hate this diet... | 1.3270 | 0.04207 | 211 | 158 | 37 | 16 |
1121 | Call me old fashioned, but I was fine with the pilot fish. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1122 | Honey, come on in! It's not that deep! | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1123 | Uber Eats.....what can I say, it's a living! | 1.3270 | 0.04043 | 211 | 157 | 40 | 14 |
1124 | I saved the best part for last ! | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1125 | I got the idea from Uber. | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1126 | The dolphins told me this would be fun. | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1127 | What happened to yours? | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1128 | If he gives me less than four stars I'm going to eat him. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1129 | It's my new "Meat, Greet, and Eat service." | 1.3270 | 0.04043 | 211 | 155 | 43 | 13 |
1130 | He promised me a cut when they come watch him walk on water. | 1.3270 | 0.03872 | 211 | 152 | 49 | 10 |
1131 | We're going to need a bigger ocean. | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1132 | Yeah, my wife made me take a lunch today. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1133 | No, sorry. I'm saving this half for later. | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1134 | I saved this part for you. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1135 | Want to join me for dinner? | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1136 | I took my lunch to go. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1137 | I always pack a lunch. | 1.3270 | 0.04043 | 211 | 155 | 43 | 13 |
1138 | He's running for Congress. Testing the waters. | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1139 | I’m using him as a lure. | 1.3270 | 0.03930 | 211 | 153 | 47 | 11 |
1140 | I hate these swim with the sharks days. | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1141 | It's an eatable back scratcher" | 1.3270 | 0.04043 | 211 | 155 | 43 | 13 |
1142 | No hurry. He’s wading for Godot.” | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1143 | You can have this half, I’m full | 1.3270 | 0.03987 | 211 | 154 | 45 | 12 |
1144 | I swear . . . it's not what you think. | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1145 | He’s not using me, our love is real. | 1.3270 | 0.04099 | 211 | 156 | 41 | 14 |
1146 | Did you forget lunch? | 1.3270 | 0.04153 | 211 | 157 | 39 | 15 |
1147 | Have you ever seen that trick where you put a treat on a dog's nose? | 1.3270 | 0.04207 | 211 | 158 | 37 | 16 |
1148 | Now that they all have cell phones, the thrill of the hunt is gone. | 1.3264 | 0.05105 | 144 | 108 | 25 | 11 |
1149 | As above, so below. | 1.3262 | 0.04191 | 187 | 136 | 41 | 10 |
1150 | Normally I would, but it actually feels very good. | 1.3252 | 0.04048 | 206 | 151 | 43 | 12 |
1151 | My level of intimidation has dramatically decreased. | 1.3235 | 0.04130 | 204 | 151 | 40 | 13 |
1152 | stop showing off and just eat him | 1.3235 | 0.04071 | 204 | 150 | 42 | 12 |
1153 | Trying to convince his friends it’s only 3 feet deep. | 1.3235 | 0.03951 | 204 | 148 | 46 | 10 |
1154 | We had a much better turnout at last week's 'Yoga with Sharks' class. | 1.3235 | 0.04130 | 204 | 151 | 40 | 13 |
1155 | I'm part of his walk on water trick. | 1.3235 | 0.03889 | 204 | 147 | 48 | 9 |
1156 | Is it just me or are we losing some of our fear factor to plastic pollution? | 1.3235 | 0.04188 | 204 | 152 | 38 | 14 |
1157 | I got some carryout. | 1.3235 | 0.03951 | 204 | 148 | 46 | 10 |
1158 | I'm not hungry, but this guy deserves to die. | 1.3218 | 0.04214 | 202 | 151 | 37 | 14 |
1159 | You eat yet? | 1.3218 | 0.03847 | 202 | 145 | 49 | 8 |
1160 | I'm doing this for Lent. | 1.3218 | 0.03973 | 202 | 147 | 45 | 10 |
1161 | I'm playing a long game. | 1.3214 | 0.04302 | 196 | 147 | 35 | 14 |
1162 | Heads or tails? | 1.3214 | 0.04020 | 196 | 145 | 40 | 11 |
1163 | Mate, you've still got a bit of food on you... | 1.3214 | 0.04052 | 196 | 143 | 43 | 10 |
1164 | It’s all part of a balanced diet. | 1.3214 | 0.03987 | 196 | 142 | 45 | 9 |
1165 | I like foot massages. | 1.3214 | 0.03921 | 196 | 141 | 47 | 8 |
1166 | I wish he'd jump already. | 1.3214 | 0.03987 | 196 | 142 | 45 | 9 |
1167 | I've got this guy right where I want him. | 1.3214 | 0.04179 | 196 | 145 | 39 | 12 |
1168 | Are you sure these are the toppings we ordered? | 1.3214 | 0.04116 | 196 | 144 | 41 | 11 |
1169 | We have a standing dinner date. | 1.3214 | 0.03987 | 196 | 142 | 45 | 9 |
1170 | And they wonder why we attack. | 1.3214 | 0.03571 | 196 | 141 | 50 | 5 |
1171 | The problem with this generation is they didn't grow up watching Jaws. | 1.3214 | 0.04116 | 196 | 144 | 41 | 11 |
1172 | He ain't heavy, he's my Darwinian brother... | 1.3214 | 0.04241 | 196 | 146 | 37 | 13 |
1173 | Rideshare app | 1.3214 | 0.04422 | 196 | 149 | 31 | 16 |
1174 | But he's the only one who's ever made me happy! | 1.3214 | 0.03987 | 196 | 142 | 45 | 9 |
1175 | I was always told that we were on top of the food chain. | 1.3209 | 0.04315 | 187 | 139 | 36 | 12 |
1176 | I got take out. | 1.3200 | 0.03932 | 200 | 145 | 46 | 9 |
1177 | He doesn't know he's in over his head. | 1.3200 | 0.04470 | 200 | 154 | 28 | 18 |
1178 | I had just eaten and he asked me nicely. | 1.3200 | 0.03995 | 200 | 146 | 44 | 10 |
1179 | It's like migraine, a sudden weight on the back of my head. | 1.3200 | 0.04057 | 200 | 147 | 42 | 11 |
1180 | Fine, don’t guess. I’m Carmen Miranda. | 1.3200 | 0.04119 | 200 | 148 | 40 | 12 |
1181 | I hate 'Shark Week' | 1.3200 | 0.03995 | 200 | 146 | 44 | 10 |
1182 | The top half was pretty good. Saved you the legs and thighs. | 1.3200 | 0.04179 | 200 | 149 | 38 | 13 |
1183 | I've got a busy day so I brought my lunch. | 1.3200 | 0.03802 | 200 | 143 | 50 | 7 |
1184 | I saved you the legs. | 1.3200 | 0.04356 | 200 | 152 | 32 | 16 |
1185 | I ate the top part and I'm saving this for later. | 1.3200 | 0.04119 | 200 | 148 | 40 | 12 |
1186 | Can you hear his accent? I think we’re somewhere on Oklahoma. | 1.3200 | 0.03932 | 200 | 145 | 46 | 9 |
1187 | First, I'll tickle his toes, then ... | 1.3200 | 0.04057 | 200 | 147 | 42 | 11 |
1188 | That top half was filling. I'm saving these leftovers for tomorrow's breakfast. | 1.3200 | 0.03867 | 200 | 144 | 48 | 8 |
1189 | Help yourself, I’ve already had my half. | 1.3200 | 0.03932 | 200 | 145 | 46 | 9 |
1190 | Does it make me look younger? | 1.3200 | 0.03867 | 200 | 144 | 48 | 8 |
1191 | I'm still waiting for the Jaws music to kick in. | 1.3200 | 0.03867 | 200 | 144 | 48 | 8 |
1192 | He thinks he's hanging ten, but when I get through with him it'll be more like two. | 1.3200 | 0.04179 | 200 | 149 | 38 | 13 |
1193 | One trip to SeaWorld and you think you're a dolphin. | 1.3200 | 0.04298 | 200 | 151 | 34 | 15 |
1194 | Its like Uber, but with stronger incentives for good tips | 1.3187 | 0.04391 | 182 | 136 | 34 | 12 |
1195 | Watch this. | 1.3182 | 0.04384 | 198 | 151 | 31 | 16 |
1196 | I’m waiting until he drops the child | 1.3182 | 0.04384 | 198 | 151 | 31 | 16 |
1197 | It's times like this that really make me regret going vegan. | 1.3182 | 0.04325 | 198 | 150 | 33 | 15 |
1198 | It's new bait to fish for humans. | 1.3182 | 0.04143 | 198 | 147 | 39 | 12 |
1199 | It's the eagle holding his upper body upright who I feel sorry for. | 1.3182 | 0.03953 | 198 | 144 | 45 | 9 |
1200 | He's on top of me, isn't he? | 1.3182 | 0.04081 | 198 | 146 | 41 | 11 |
1201 | I'm using his GPS. | 1.3182 | 0.04081 | 198 | 146 | 41 | 11 |
1202 | This idiot thinks I am his surf board. | 1.3182 | 0.03888 | 198 | 155 | 31 | 12 |
1203 | He's found the sweet spot. I can't reach him. | 1.3163 | 0.04104 | 196 | 145 | 40 | 11 |
1204 | I find them really useful as bait. | 1.3163 | 0.03975 | 196 | 146 | 41 | 9 |
1205 | The woman he was with was actually quite tasty. | 1.3163 | 0.04168 | 196 | 146 | 38 | 12 |
1206 | You’ve got to be kidding. A great white? | 1.3163 | 0.04230 | 196 | 147 | 36 | 13 |
1207 | So who's the Great White these days? | 1.3163 | 0.04040 | 196 | 144 | 42 | 10 |
1208 | His phone isn’t waterproof. | 1.3163 | 0.03975 | 196 | 143 | 44 | 9 |
1209 | It's just a snack for later. It won't "ruin my dinner," mom. | 1.3163 | 0.04291 | 196 | 148 | 34 | 14 |
1210 | The wife was in the mood for tourist." | 1.3163 | 0.03807 | 196 | 143 | 45 | 8 |
1211 | Why don’t you tell him I’m not a sand bar | 1.3163 | 0.04168 | 196 | 148 | 35 | 13 |
1212 | I packed a lunch today, it's cheaper than eating out. | 1.3163 | 0.04230 | 196 | 147 | 36 | 13 |
1213 | I'm not hungry and my back feels great. | 1.3163 | 0.03909 | 196 | 142 | 46 | 8 |
1214 | Look, man, depression has hit me hard. I just don't have the energy anymore to even bite. | 1.3163 | 0.03909 | 196 | 142 | 46 | 8 |
1215 | His arms were delicious but I had to save the rest for later. | 1.3163 | 0.04230 | 196 | 147 | 36 | 13 |
1216 | I ordered Chinese. | 1.3163 | 0.04291 | 196 | 148 | 34 | 14 |
1217 | I'll tolerate him for a while since he thinks he is swimming with the dolphins. Then I'll grab a leg. Want the other? | 1.3163 | 0.04230 | 196 | 147 | 36 | 13 |
1218 | I just feel like my food choices are weighing me down | 1.3163 | 0.04104 | 196 | 145 | 40 | 11 |
1219 | I’m taking this one to go. | 1.3141 | 0.04105 | 191 | 141 | 40 | 10 |
1220 | The kids call it "Sharking." | 1.3141 | 0.04237 | 191 | 143 | 36 | 12 |
1221 | Yeah, but if I don't deliver it in 30 minutes or less, it's free. | 1.3141 | 0.04428 | 191 | 146 | 30 | 15 |
1222 | What he doesn't know if, after the massage, I get a happy ending. | 1.3141 | 0.04365 | 191 | 145 | 32 | 14 |
1223 | what? | 1.3141 | 0.03898 | 191 | 138 | 46 | 7 |
1224 | I do this for an arm and a leg. | 1.3141 | 0.04172 | 191 | 142 | 38 | 11 |
1225 | We're bartering. I get a barefoot massage. He gets to swim back to shore. | 1.3141 | 0.04037 | 191 | 147 | 33 | 11 |
1226 | I want to eat him, but then I'll have to wait 30 minutes until I can go swimming. | 1.3141 | 0.03968 | 191 | 139 | 44 | 8 |
1227 | He's a chiropractor. I'll eat him once he's finished adjusting me. | 1.3141 | 0.04105 | 191 | 141 | 40 | 10 |
1228 | Hey Sal, Do I have food on my head? | 1.3141 | 0.04302 | 191 | 144 | 34 | 13 |
1229 | Uber doesn't care if you're a shark. | 1.3141 | 0.04138 | 191 | 144 | 35 | 12 |
1230 | And after the massage, there'll be a full course meal. | 1.3141 | 0.04172 | 191 | 142 | 38 | 11 |
1231 | Don’t tell him! | 1.3141 | 0.03285 | 191 | 145 | 38 | 8 |
1232 | I like a massage before my meal. | 1.3141 | 0.04365 | 191 | 145 | 32 | 14 |
1233 | So I thought Why not take-out tonight ? | 1.3141 | 0.04037 | 191 | 140 | 42 | 9 |
1234 | Don't attack him, the foot massage feels great. | 1.3141 | 0.04105 | 191 | 141 | 40 | 10 |
1235 | Join me for lunch? | 1.3141 | 0.04365 | 191 | 145 | 32 | 14 |
1236 | He keeps singing "Why not take all of me". | 1.3141 | 0.04302 | 191 | 144 | 34 | 13 |
1237 | Do you think it’s malignant? | 1.3141 | 0.04302 | 191 | 144 | 34 | 13 |
1238 | If I can't see him, I won't eat him. | 1.3141 | 0.04237 | 191 | 143 | 36 | 12 |
1239 | I'll hold off on attacking until after he posts on Instagram. | 1.3141 | 0.04105 | 191 | 141 | 40 | 10 |
1240 | See? They are not all blood-thirsty monsters. | 1.3141 | 0.04037 | 191 | 140 | 42 | 9 |
1241 | I'm emotionally attached because years ago when I was really hungry he gave me a hand. | 1.3128 | 0.04299 | 195 | 148 | 33 | 14 |
1242 | I don't care which cultures still eat our fins, I'm not gonna racially profile this guy! | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1243 | You have Chip on your shoulder. | 1.3125 | 0.04282 | 192 | 145 | 34 | 13 |
1244 | What did you do with yours? | 1.3125 | 0.04282 | 192 | 145 | 34 | 13 |
1245 | I don't agree with everything he says, but I do support his platform." | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1246 | I ordered take out. | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1247 | I'm giving intermittent fasting a try. | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1248 | Since I hired him to be my lookout, I’ve stopped scaring the swimmers away. | 1.3122 | 0.04329 | 189 | 143 | 33 | 13 |
1249 | I'm a breast man myself. Do you want a leg? | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1250 | Oh, him? I just signed up to be a Lyft driver. | 1.3122 | 0.04329 | 189 | 143 | 33 | 13 |
1251 | He must be an attorney. He seems very comfortable in this environment. | 1.3122 | 0.04329 | 189 | 143 | 33 | 13 |
1252 | He's giving a speech on how sharks keep oceans clean. Professionally, I'm on the horns of a dilemma. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1253 | Say when | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1254 | Mom always put extra snacks in my back pack | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1255 | It's a human decoy I made. Everyone thinks it's safe and pile into the water and then we feast. | 1.3122 | 0.04329 | 189 | 143 | 33 | 13 |
1256 | Oh, the quandary this poses. The Internet say,"For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks." | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1257 | I can't make it any easier for you , can I ? | 1.3122 | 0.03991 | 189 | 138 | 43 | 8 |
1258 | And I thought barnicles were a bummer. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1259 | I told him he should just jump the shark already but, he didn't get it. | 1.3122 | 0.03991 | 189 | 138 | 43 | 8 |
1260 | The guy at the store said you need to keep the head as dry as possible, but I just know I'm going to forget. | 1.3122 | 0.03919 | 189 | 137 | 45 | 7 |
1261 | Grab one and make a wish. | 1.3122 | 0.03698 | 189 | 144 | 35 | 10 |
1262 | I can’t break his heart, he thinks I’m a dolphin. | 1.3122 | 0.04060 | 189 | 139 | 41 | 9 |
1263 | Don't eat my emotional support animal! | 1.3122 | 0.04163 | 189 | 143 | 34 | 12 |
1264 | There is a $10 delivery fee | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1265 | Let’s wait til he finishes his cigarette. | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 141 | 37 | 11 |
1266 | We won the surfing contest. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1267 | We met on a fetish site. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1268 | I enjoy lulling them into a false sense of security. | 1.3122 | 0.03847 | 189 | 136 | 47 | 6 |
1269 | One lousy surfer and I get 300 hours of community service. | 1.3122 | 0.03810 | 189 | 143 | 36 | 10 |
1270 | I would, but his arm only got one star on Yelp. | 1.3122 | 0.03991 | 189 | 138 | 43 | 8 |
1271 | I saved the bottom half for you- I knew it is your favorite. | 1.3122 | 0.03919 | 189 | 137 | 45 | 7 |
1272 | I know it's tempting, but I'm on this new gluten-free diet. | 1.3122 | 0.04197 | 189 | 144 | 34 | 11 |
1273 | Do you want him? He supposedly has bone spurs!! | 1.3122 | 0.04329 | 189 | 143 | 33 | 13 |
1274 | Yes, I suppose I could use some assertiveness training. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1275 | Vinny's experience with a lone shark did not go as planned. | 1.3122 | 0.04393 | 189 | 144 | 31 | 14 |
1276 | They do takeout. | 1.3122 | 0.03991 | 189 | 138 | 43 | 8 |
1277 | I think you should know that this guy has a spear gun pointed at you and perhaps you should take a swim back to your own waters . | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1278 | He's doing something called "selfie?" | 1.3122 | 0.04060 | 189 | 139 | 41 | 9 |
1279 | It's today's special. Surf & Turf. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1280 | I’m a pacifist. | 1.3122 | 0.04520 | 189 | 146 | 27 | 16 |
1281 | He wants to impress some woman. We all know how that is. | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1282 | We have to throw it back. It's under the weight allowance. | 1.3122 | 0.04393 | 189 | 144 | 31 | 14 |
1283 | I bought my own lunch today. | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1284 | And now, what the hell do I do? | 1.3122 | 0.03991 | 189 | 138 | 43 | 8 |
1285 | There’s gotta be, like, a million things I could do to this idiot to get on “Shark Week.” | 1.3122 | 0.04263 | 189 | 142 | 35 | 12 |
1286 | It's bring your lunch to school day. | 1.3122 | 0.04457 | 189 | 145 | 29 | 15 |
1287 | You're late for dinner. | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1288 | I've tried everything, but I can't get this monkey off my back. | 1.3122 | 0.04129 | 189 | 140 | 39 | 10 |
1289 | I can’t remember if I’m supposed to stop swimming, play dead or rap him on the nose. | 1.3122 | 0.04457 | 189 | 145 | 29 | 15 |
1290 | It was my therapist's idea. | 1.3122 | 0.03919 | 189 | 137 | 45 | 7 |
1291 | I hate the gig economy. | 1.3115 | 0.03766 | 183 | 140 | 33 | 10 |
1292 | It's symbiotic for now. I'm not making any promises. | 1.3115 | 0.04073 | 183 | 134 | 41 | 8 |
1293 | He's heavy, but he's a great decoy. | 1.3115 | 0.04288 | 183 | 137 | 35 | 11 |
1294 | I think can we can take the mixed doubles water ballet title, if I can control my appetite. | 1.3115 | 0.04288 | 183 | 137 | 35 | 11 |
1295 | I always bring a snack. | 1.3115 | 0.03923 | 183 | 132 | 45 | 6 |
1296 | Shorts week | 1.3115 | 0.04288 | 183 | 137 | 35 | 11 |
1297 | I ate the last two, so the resort put me on probation. | 1.3115 | 0.03998 | 183 | 133 | 43 | 7 |
1298 | Until Shark Week starts filming again, I have to make ends meet by providing ride-sharing for swimmers. | 1.3103 | 0.04511 | 174 | 132 | 30 | 12 |
1299 | Hey, Dad. He followed me home. Can I keep him? | 1.3102 | 0.03941 | 187 | 136 | 44 | 7 |
1300 | I know it's not bacon, but it looks delicious. | 1.3102 | 0.04084 | 187 | 138 | 40 | 9 |
1301 | Do you ever feel like “the man” is always on your back? | 1.3102 | 0.04222 | 187 | 140 | 36 | 11 |
1302 | I’m on Step 9, Making Amends. | 1.3102 | 0.04290 | 187 | 141 | 34 | 12 |
1303 | It’s not what it looks like - I’m taking him to lunch. | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1304 | I don’t know, I guess I’m just not that hungry. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1305 | Do I have a pimple on my back? | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1306 | I say it's a 60% - 40% split since he is standing on me! | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1307 | I'll consume him in due time. Finish your story. | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1308 | It's just the old bait and switch. | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1309 | Give him a break. The guy lost his surfboard. | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1310 | Going vegan is much more annoying than I thought it would be. | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1311 | When should I break the news to him that the dolphins are in the other tank? | 1.3081 | 0.04581 | 185 | 144 | 25 | 16 |
1312 | Luckily for me, Uber's driver background checks are rather lax. | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1313 | I use him as my look out - the fin thing is just too much of a give-away. | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1314 | No! You ate the top half! | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1315 | Should I tell him? | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1316 | Are you interested in the leftovers? | 1.3081 | 0.04036 | 185 | 136 | 41 | 8 |
1317 | Here comes the triple flip. I'm going for a vertical entry with this one. | 1.3081 | 0.04517 | 185 | 143 | 27 | 15 |
1318 | I just let him think we have a ‘special bond’ then I’ll eat him. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1319 | Did you enjoy the top half? | 1.3081 | 0.04283 | 185 | 142 | 30 | 13 |
1320 | Its a symbiotic relationship, he gets to swim without getting tired and I get to eat him when he's done. | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 145 | 28 | 12 |
1321 | Should I break it to him? | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1322 | It's customary to tip for your grubhub delivery | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1323 | It was either this or the chiropractor. | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1324 | it's only my second week, but I'm already finding it really hard to be vegan | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1325 | I'm starting a balanced diet today. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1326 | We're gonna need a bigger ocean. | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1327 | The salesman said it would be less conspicuous than a fin. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1328 | I stopped by the shore on my way home. Thought you might like this. | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1329 | Technically, we would remain vegan because he was. | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1330 | It's working, Ralph. He's telling everyone to come out and stand on this sandbar ! | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1331 | My ad was supposed to say ‘Wanted: Sucker Fish’, but in print it got cut off... | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 143 | 29 | 13 |
1332 | Not a fan of legs and thighs, you? | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1333 | Where have you been? Dinner's ready. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1334 | No, honey, it's not an affair, just a great little massage. | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1335 | They're much more comfortable approaching since I got the doll. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1336 | Open real wide now. When I go low, you go high! | 1.3081 | 0.04517 | 185 | 143 | 27 | 15 |
1337 | Hey, wanna play wishbone? | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1338 | My psychiatrist recommended exposure therapy to combat my compulsive overeating. | 1.3081 | 0.04036 | 185 | 136 | 41 | 8 |
1339 | I know, honey, I know. But, we have just got to watch the carbs. | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1340 | Just wait until he finds out I'm not a dolphin. | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1341 | Professional courtesy. We might need a good lawyer some day. | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1342 | Yeah, I just don't have the heart, OK? His glasses fell off, then he started swimming in my direction yelling here Flipper, here boy! | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1343 | I know you hate talking about dinner plans when we’ve just had lunch... | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1344 | A little nip on the ankle should get him off my back. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1345 | He thinks he's my surf buddy, but he's just chum. | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1346 | You know you can just eat him, right? | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1347 | He's making a sequel to "Jaws" and I am auditioning for the lead. | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1348 | Hey, you promised dessert if I brought the entree. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1349 | Get it off, get it off, get it off! | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1350 | I’m waiting for him to get off his phone. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1351 | Please go up and see if he's as bony as he feels. I'm on a low-fat diet. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1352 | Works such a drag, I just can’t get this guy off my back! | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1353 | I'm waiting for a seal, they have more meat on them !! | 1.3081 | 0.04036 | 185 | 136 | 41 | 8 |
1354 | His feet stink like the Bronx so maybe he tastes good, too. | 1.3081 | 0.04770 | 185 | 147 | 19 | 19 |
1355 | What?! You have a problem with carry-out? | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1356 | I'm carrying 125 pounds in the finals of the handicapped shark races. How about you? | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1357 | What do you say we see how he hangs five? | 1.3081 | 0.04317 | 185 | 140 | 33 | 12 |
1358 | Of course we’ll eat him, but let him adjust my spine first | 1.3081 | 0.04451 | 185 | 142 | 29 | 14 |
1359 | These millennials think they're entitled to everything. | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1360 | Poor guy thinks he’s walking on water... at least he’ll go out in style. | 1.3081 | 0.04248 | 185 | 139 | 35 | 11 |
1361 | You should start packing a lunch too. | 1.3081 | 0.04384 | 185 | 141 | 31 | 13 |
1362 | I can't shake him. How did you get rid of yours? | 1.3081 | 0.04108 | 185 | 137 | 39 | 9 |
1363 | I lost a bet to a vulture. He gets to go first. | 1.3081 | 0.04179 | 185 | 138 | 37 | 10 |
1364 | I packed a lunch. | 1.3081 | 0.03962 | 185 | 135 | 43 | 7 |
1365 | An hour a week and the back’s good as new. | 1.3081 | 0.03887 | 185 | 136 | 42 | 7 |
1366 | It's either this or pain pills. | 1.3060 | 0.04059 | 183 | 135 | 40 | 8 |
1367 | Yeah, it's great, I make my own hours and eat on the job! | 1.3060 | 0.04132 | 183 | 136 | 38 | 9 |
1368 | I've really lost the urge since I can't hear the theme music. | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1369 | Professional respect...he's a lawyer. | 1.3060 | 0.04021 | 183 | 137 | 37 | 9 |
1370 | I disagree. I think this ride shark service could habe some legs to it. | 1.3060 | 0.04204 | 183 | 137 | 36 | 10 |
1371 | I’m sorry man, but I can’t do it without the music | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1372 | I'm just keeping him fresh for dinner when I get hungry. | 1.3060 | 0.04344 | 183 | 139 | 32 | 12 |
1373 | He thinks I'm sandbar, and now I don't have the heart. | 1.3060 | 0.04344 | 183 | 139 | 32 | 12 |
1374 | He complained about the rate so I told him I'd take half off. | 1.3060 | 0.04344 | 183 | 139 | 32 | 12 |
1375 | No, ma! I won't stop playing with my food! | 1.3060 | 0.04059 | 183 | 135 | 40 | 8 |
1376 | matter of fact, no, i’m a man-standing shark. | 1.3060 | 0.04204 | 183 | 137 | 36 | 10 |
1377 | Bait. The fin was a dead giveaway. | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1378 | Hi, I have an Uber Eats order for Bruce | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1379 | Uber Eats delivery. | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1380 | It's my first time as an Uber driver, but if I get humgry it's all over. | 1.3060 | 0.04741 | 183 | 145 | 20 | 18 |
1381 | More effective than hot rocks and tastes better too. | 1.3060 | 0.03984 | 183 | 137 | 39 | 7 |
1382 | Uber shark food delivery ... here's your order. | 1.3060 | 0.04132 | 183 | 136 | 38 | 9 |
1383 | I brought you leftovers... | 1.3060 | 0.04059 | 183 | 135 | 40 | 8 |
1384 | Snacks on me! | 1.3060 | 0.04344 | 183 | 139 | 32 | 12 |
1385 | This intermittent fasting is getting harder and harder. | 1.3060 | 0.04275 | 183 | 138 | 34 | 11 |
1386 | It's an Uber experimental ride-share-eat option. | 1.3060 | 0.04204 | 183 | 137 | 36 | 10 |
1387 | So I was just swimming around flossing my jaws with a trash sign that read “Rides for food” when his idiot just hopped on me. You wanna do lunch? | 1.3046 | 0.05060 | 151 | 118 | 20 | 13 |
1388 | Drumstick? | 1.3039 | 0.03850 | 181 | 135 | 36 | 8 |
1389 | You should see him from the waist up. | 1.3039 | 0.04044 | 181 | 138 | 33 | 10 |
1390 | I know he's heavy, but you should see my abs. | 1.3039 | 0.04372 | 181 | 138 | 31 | 12 |
1391 | Why don't they ever talk about our good qualities? | 1.3034 | 0.04202 | 178 | 133 | 36 | 9 |
1392 | He’s gonna be surprised when he finds out I’m not Shamu. | 1.3034 | 0.04422 | 178 | 136 | 30 | 12 |
1393 | Trust me, it’s a great way to lure the others. | 1.3034 | 0.04202 | 178 | 133 | 36 | 9 |
1394 | I'd take his legs off, but he's scratching a spot I can't reach. | 1.3034 | 0.04564 | 178 | 138 | 26 | 14 |
1395 | Fast food to go! | 1.3034 | 0.04048 | 178 | 131 | 40 | 7 |
1396 | Can you finish the rest? I just wanted the wings and breast. | 1.3034 | 0.04564 | 178 | 138 | 26 | 14 |
1397 | Call PR...aren’t they supposed to be scared of us! | 1.3034 | 0.04422 | 178 | 136 | 30 | 12 |
1398 | I'm on a balanced diet. | 1.3034 | 0.04048 | 178 | 131 | 40 | 7 |
1399 | I like to mess with them a little before I take a bite. | 1.3034 | 0.04202 | 178 | 133 | 36 | 9 |
1400 | Here's your Uber Eats Delivery" | 1.3034 | 0.04202 | 178 | 133 | 36 | 9 |
1401 | Last client of the day. | 1.3034 | 0.03362 | 178 | 132 | 43 | 3 |
1402 | You can start with the drumsticks | 1.3034 | 0.03888 | 178 | 139 | 30 | 9 |
1403 | Out of the Way! He is one of us, Binsky just passed the Bar. | 1.3034 | 0.04701 | 178 | 140 | 22 | 16 |
1404 | "Your delivery of a gluten-free person for dinner." | 1.3034 | 0.03968 | 178 | 130 | 42 | 6 |
1405 | The family meal always ends up being too much food. | 1.3034 | 0.04048 | 178 | 131 | 40 | 7 |
1406 | It's good for my core. | 1.3034 | 0.04494 | 178 | 137 | 28 | 13 |
1407 | It's take-out tonight. End of discussion. | 1.3034 | 0.04633 | 178 | 139 | 24 | 15 |
1408 | Word is, Sharkworld may raise our pay to $15 per hour, plus chum. | 1.3034 | 0.04701 | 178 | 140 | 22 | 16 |
1409 | I might be hungry later. | 1.3034 | 0.04048 | 178 | 137 | 32 | 9 |
1410 | I've lost my edge! | 1.3034 | 0.04422 | 178 | 136 | 30 | 12 |
1411 | Sorry, I can't go out to lunch today. I brought leftovers. | 1.3034 | 0.04350 | 178 | 135 | 32 | 11 |
1412 | He loves the ocean, but he can't swim. | 1.3034 | 0.04202 | 178 | 133 | 36 | 9 |
1413 | I don't know if I should eat him or rescind his pro-surfer's certificate. | 1.3034 | 0.04276 | 178 | 134 | 34 | 10 |
1414 | I'm evolving. | 1.3034 | 0.04276 | 178 | 134 | 34 | 10 |
1415 | I'm making extra money as a uber driver. | 1.3034 | 0.04564 | 178 | 138 | 26 | 14 |
1416 | I 'm taking a course in Anger Management" | 1.3034 | 0.04633 | 178 | 139 | 24 | 15 |
1417 | Bad hair day | 1.3034 | 0.03805 | 178 | 135 | 36 | 7 |
1418 | If anything, it's a conflict of interest. | 1.3034 | 0.03968 | 178 | 130 | 42 | 6 |
1419 | I met him in my “Vegan for Dummies” cooking class. | 1.3034 | 0.04633 | 178 | 139 | 24 | 15 |
1420 | I thought you said to pack a lunch? | 1.3034 | 0.03888 | 178 | 129 | 44 | 5 |
1421 | I got us takeout. | 1.3034 | 0.04276 | 178 | 134 | 34 | 10 |
1422 | Apparently this is an example of what is known as "Florida Man". | 1.3030 | 0.04502 | 165 | 125 | 30 | 10 |
1423 | Time to let him know I'm not a dolphin. | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1424 | It's rebranding - folks were starting to have a negative association with the fin. | 1.3023 | 0.04296 | 172 | 129 | 34 | 9 |
1425 | I just picked up dinner. | 1.3023 | 0.04296 | 172 | 129 | 34 | 9 |
1426 | The vet said I have to start lifting weights. | 1.3023 | 0.04052 | 172 | 126 | 40 | 6 |
1427 | It’s a symbiotic relationship | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1428 | Yeah, I'm doing a gig now for Uber Eats. | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1429 | It's symbiotic. He eases my back pain, and I don't eat him. | 1.3023 | 0.04052 | 172 | 126 | 40 | 6 |
1430 | And his feet are all slimy and gross, too! | 1.3023 | 0.03836 | 172 | 131 | 33 | 8 |
1431 | Stop judging my taste in symbiotic relationships! | 1.3023 | 0.04602 | 172 | 133 | 26 | 13 |
1432 | You got some food on your face. | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1433 | I just hate those skinny bones stuck in my throat. | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1434 | Some fins wrong. I'm just not sure what. | 1.3023 | 0.04216 | 172 | 128 | 36 | 8 |
1435 | Do you want to join me for dinner? | 1.3023 | 0.03746 | 172 | 130 | 35 | 7 |
1436 | I'm sick of shark week. | 1.3023 | 0.04296 | 172 | 129 | 34 | 9 |
1437 | Global warming is bringing them out earlier in the season. | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1438 | God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for this food. | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1439 | I used to think "When your a shark you're a shark all the way", but now I dunno | 1.3023 | 0.04216 | 172 | 128 | 36 | 8 |
1440 | Who takes "Jumping the shark" literally? | 1.3023 | 0.04009 | 172 | 128 | 37 | 7 |
1441 | It was a typo-the email said “shark attach”. | 1.3023 | 0.04009 | 172 | 128 | 37 | 7 |
1442 | In the good old days, it was an albatross around the neck. | 1.3023 | 0.03791 | 172 | 128 | 38 | 6 |
1443 | And I had to pick this week to go vegan! | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1444 | Do you ever feel like the man is holding you down? | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1445 | Lyft was hiring. I needed money. Don't mess this up for me. | 1.3023 | 0.03880 | 172 | 128 | 38 | 6 |
1446 | Nah, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1447 | He does not take advantage of me! It's a symbiotic relationship. | 1.3023 | 0.04052 | 172 | 126 | 40 | 6 |
1448 | It's a new ride share program called SCUBER. | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1449 | I just love this place. Every massage comes with a free meal. | 1.3023 | 0.04451 | 172 | 131 | 30 | 11 |
1450 | Haven't you ever heard of a symbiotic ashiatsu relationship? | 1.3023 | 0.03560 | 172 | 135 | 28 | 9 |
1451 | So I guess now I'm a HammerToe Shark? | 1.3023 | 0.04527 | 172 | 132 | 28 | 12 |
1452 | I know, I know; but he said he could get me on ‘Shark Tank’! | 1.3023 | 0.04374 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 10 |
1453 | But I can't do it. He's so clueless and trusting. | 1.3023 | 0.04135 | 172 | 127 | 38 | 7 |
1454 | If this doesn’t get us on the caption contest, I don’t know what will. | 1.3023 | 0.04527 | 172 | 132 | 28 | 12 |
1455 | Compliments of the Chef | 1.3023 | 0.04216 | 172 | 128 | 36 | 8 |
1456 | Bite me in the snout next time I say work well with people. | 1.3017 | 0.03950 | 179 | 131 | 42 | 6 |
1457 | Have you met Finn? | 1.3011 | 0.04452 | 176 | 135 | 29 | 12 |
1458 | Let’s see if he can swim with one leg.” | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1459 | I'm not hungry. Are you? | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1460 | I call it my "Scenic Dinner Cruise". I'm the cruise part. | 1.3011 | 0.03990 | 176 | 129 | 41 | 6 |
1461 | I'm trying a new approach, because those suck-up dolphins aren't getting killed for their fins. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1462 | Some situations really test my decision to go vegan. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1463 | I swim carefully, but they rarely give me five stars. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1464 | Tell me the truth: have I gained weight? | 1.3011 | 0.03650 | 176 | 135 | 33 | 8 |
1465 | The Twelve Apostles still think He can walk on water... | 1.3011 | 0.04071 | 176 | 130 | 39 | 7 |
1466 | I wish he'd stuck with goat yoga. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 137 | 28 | 11 |
1467 | He's my attorney | 1.3011 | 0.04524 | 176 | 136 | 27 | 13 |
1468 | I just don't have the heart to tell him he's in too deep. | 1.3011 | 0.03908 | 176 | 128 | 43 | 5 |
1469 | I still don't get why my folks told me not to play with my food. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1470 | Something like this happens every time I try to quit. | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1471 | I just know I’m going to get Athlete’s Fin from this.” | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1472 | On the count of 3... | 1.3011 | 0.04524 | 176 | 136 | 27 | 13 |
1473 | He's my brother-in-law. I tried to talk her out of it, but she said I was exhibiting a species bias. | 1.3011 | 0.04031 | 176 | 136 | 28 | 11 |
1474 | I thought I’d try an edible back massager | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1475 | He is going to have a sinking feeling soon... | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1476 | He's all yours... I am a "breast guy" ! | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1477 | Leftovers. Why do you ask? | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1478 | I'm not hungry, but I don't think I can pass up the teachable moment. | 1.3011 | 0.04071 | 176 | 130 | 39 | 7 |
1479 | It's only humiliating if you don't eat him afterwards. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1480 | He said he needs to finish tweeting first. | 1.3011 | 0.04071 | 176 | 130 | 39 | 7 |
1481 | I'd say it's a fair exchange--he scratches my back and I don't eat him. | 1.3011 | 0.04071 | 176 | 130 | 39 | 7 |
1482 | As a support shark I get into the movies for free. | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1483 | Shall I tell him, or should you? | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1484 | My generation always swam against the current in freezing water to hunt for food. Your soft generation lays around in globally-warmed water waiting for delivery. | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1485 | I'm about to give him a fish pedicure he won't ever forget. | 1.3011 | 0.04189 | 176 | 134 | 32 | 10 |
1486 | I told you we look like surfboards | 1.3011 | 0.04665 | 176 | 138 | 23 | 15 |
1487 | Climate change. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1488 | I brought the hors d'oeuvre. | 1.3011 | 0.04452 | 176 | 135 | 29 | 12 |
1489 | He said he was a lawyer, so I knew he was one of us. | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1490 | Just in case I get hungry later. | 1.3011 | 0.03824 | 176 | 127 | 45 | 4 |
1491 | Man, that damn 'Shark Tale" movie really killed our street cred. | 1.3011 | 0.03990 | 176 | 129 | 41 | 6 |
1492 | I don’t know how much longer I can take working under this guy! | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1493 | I found him on decoys.com | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1494 | ''I owe him 'cause I ate his surfboard.'' | 1.3011 | 0.03824 | 176 | 127 | 45 | 4 |
1495 | If he shouts 'Hey, Bro!--Who's the Man!' one more time, let's snap him in half! | 1.3011 | 0.04452 | 176 | 135 | 29 | 12 |
1496 | When do you think I should tell him? | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1497 | This one's O.K. The last guy was wearing cleats. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1498 | I can’t stand this anymore, and they wonder why we bite them from time to time ! | 1.3011 | 0.04378 | 176 | 134 | 31 | 11 |
1499 | My PR team thought it would help soften my image. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1500 | My therapist recommended this mental exercise. | 1.3011 | 0.04452 | 176 | 135 | 29 | 12 |
1501 | I’m working on a balanced diet. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1502 | You've got to believe me,it's completely platonic. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1503 | We make a wish, and then we each grab an end… | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1504 | Goat yoga is so passé | 1.3011 | 0.04595 | 176 | 137 | 25 | 14 |
1505 | Actually, I think I prefer Rolfing. | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 136 | 30 | 10 |
1506 | Talk about a false sense of security! | 1.3011 | 0.04303 | 176 | 133 | 33 | 10 |
1507 | He works on my back and I don't eat him. | 1.3011 | 0.03824 | 176 | 127 | 45 | 4 |
1508 | I've become a bottom feeder. | 1.3011 | 0.04227 | 176 | 132 | 35 | 9 |
1509 | There is no other half. | 1.3011 | 0.04150 | 176 | 131 | 37 | 8 |
1510 | Yes, he's adopted. How did you know? | 1.2989 | 0.04175 | 174 | 130 | 36 | 8 |
1511 | White privilege, need I say more? | 1.2989 | 0.04699 | 174 | 137 | 22 | 15 |
1512 | He says he's honoring me by 'standing on the shoulders of greatness.' | 1.2989 | 0.04331 | 174 | 132 | 32 | 10 |
1513 | I'll take this half to go | 1.2989 | 0.04253 | 174 | 131 | 34 | 9 |
1514 | This intermittent fasting is killing me. | 1.2989 | 0.04175 | 174 | 130 | 36 | 8 |
1515 | ‘’Just another passing fad…like planking …sigh.” | 1.2984 | 0.05245 | 124 | 95 | 21 | 8 |
1516 | I told you meeting Aquaman would be a disappointment. | 1.2965 | 0.04118 | 172 | 128 | 37 | 7 |
1517 | He tells everyone he's the "great white one". | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 33 | 9 |
1518 | Ashiatsu. Works out my aggressions. | 1.2965 | 0.04359 | 172 | 133 | 28 | 11 |
1519 | My therapist says I need to be less reactive. | 1.2965 | 0.04035 | 172 | 127 | 39 | 6 |
1520 | He Is Heavy, He Ain’t My Brother. | 1.2965 | 0.04436 | 172 | 132 | 29 | 11 |
1521 | He’s right on top of me, isn’t he? | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 33 | 9 |
1522 | No, I know he's there, but sometimes I just want to have to work for it. | 1.2965 | 0.03949 | 172 | 126 | 41 | 5 |
1523 | You’re holding up dinner. | 1.2965 | 0.04035 | 172 | 127 | 39 | 6 |
1524 | Yes I’m giving him a ride. You’ve never heard of SCUBER? | 1.2965 | 0.04359 | 172 | 131 | 31 | 10 |
1525 | I can't. We've bonded. | 1.2965 | 0.04359 | 172 | 131 | 31 | 10 |
1526 | I know it’s a cliché, but yes, he’s a lawyer. | 1.2965 | 0.04512 | 172 | 133 | 27 | 12 |
1527 | I hope he will attract a plumper one. | 1.2965 | 0.04118 | 172 | 133 | 30 | 9 |
1528 | When did you get that 4th gill? | 1.2965 | 0.04359 | 172 | 139 | 20 | 13 |
1529 | It really helps my back! | 1.2965 | 0.04436 | 172 | 132 | 29 | 11 |
1530 | They call it shark pilates. | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 32 | 9 |
1531 | Yeah, I prefer wings. | 1.2965 | 0.04035 | 172 | 127 | 39 | 6 |
1532 | He made a bet that he could walk on water. I get a cut if he wins. | 1.2965 | 0.04359 | 172 | 131 | 31 | 10 |
1533 | I hate being vegan.... | 1.2965 | 0.04436 | 172 | 132 | 29 | 11 |
1534 | You wanted the lower torso, right? | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 33 | 9 |
1535 | He's on Retainer. | 1.2965 | 0.04200 | 172 | 129 | 35 | 8 |
1536 | It's a temporary symbiotic relationship; he likes to surf, I like to eat. | 1.2965 | 0.04200 | 172 | 129 | 35 | 8 |
1537 | Not happy about this gig economy I find myself in. | 1.2965 | 0.04512 | 172 | 133 | 27 | 12 |
1538 | I could be here a while. He’s reading the Mueller Report. | 1.2965 | 0.04436 | 172 | 132 | 29 | 11 |
1539 | I'm thinking of writing a country music song about it. | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 33 | 9 |
1540 | I know this area is for members only--I'm about to take care of that. | 1.2965 | 0.04200 | 172 | 129 | 35 | 8 |
1541 | Legs or thighs? | 1.2965 | 0.04436 | 172 | 132 | 29 | 11 |
1542 | He's soooo worth it when I get an itchy fin. | 1.2965 | 0.03343 | 172 | 131 | 34 | 6 |
1543 | I love to watch their face when they slip | 1.2965 | 0.04200 | 172 | 129 | 35 | 8 |
1544 | I have to swim constantly anyway, so really the new gig economy is working for me. | 1.2965 | 0.04035 | 172 | 127 | 39 | 6 |
1545 | He’s telling everyone that he’s a standup comic. Is there such a thing? | 1.2965 | 0.04280 | 172 | 130 | 33 | 9 |
1546 | It’s an Uber pilot program. | 1.2945 | 0.03787 | 163 | 122 | 36 | 5 |
1547 | Tell them you're a vegetarian and they think they can walk all over you. | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1548 | Simple. We bet, He won. | 1.2945 | 0.04076 | 163 | 125 | 30 | 8 |
1549 | I ordered it to go. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1550 | Just toying with him before my dinner | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1551 | This is my friend Larry. He’s not much of a swimmer.” | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1552 | Are you sick of white meat? | 1.2945 | 0.04076 | 163 | 120 | 38 | 5 |
1553 | I told you that it was all over when they started with that swimming with the dolphins thing. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1554 | Say what you will about chiropractors... | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1555 | My shrink is calling it "exposure therapy". | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1556 | Give these humans an inch and they walk all over you. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1557 | He thinks he's safe on a rock; I'm saving him for our family frenzy at suppertime. | 1.2945 | 0.04681 | 163 | 127 | 24 | 12 |
1558 | Yeah, it's kinda like uber. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1559 | Got drunk, lost a bet, its hell... | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1560 | He calls himself the "Shark Whisperer". I'm going to wait until there's a huge crowd and then I'll rip him to shreds. | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1561 | I know ... But I like ... how he rubs my neck ... | 1.2945 | 0.04076 | 163 | 120 | 38 | 5 |
1562 | Okay, flip him. Heads he’s mine, tails he’s yours | 1.2945 | 0.03685 | 163 | 130 | 28 | 5 |
1563 | Yes, Modell, I am going to eat it. If you want a piece, just ask! | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1564 | Did you order the thighs? | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1565 | It started out as a rash. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1566 | I’m working on my instant gratification issues | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1567 | I’m starting to rethink my “friends not food” mantra. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1568 | I know, but he satisfies an itch. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1569 | Well, I say just because I'm a sand shark doesn't mean you can walk all over me! | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1570 | His feet feel really nice on my back, but I also want to eat him. | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 127 | 25 | 11 |
1571 | My chiropractor says this helps. | 1.2945 | 0.03982 | 163 | 119 | 40 | 4 |
1572 | Get ready. These decoys really draw them in. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1573 | I find it much more convenient to pack a lunch. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1574 | He doesn't believe me when I say, 'Get off my back.' | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1575 | It's supposed to be like goat yoga. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1576 | Ah, ha, ha, I fooled you! This is the bottom half of the guy I bit in two off Florida! | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1577 | A balanced diet is always best! | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1578 | Lenny, you do realize they can see through the tank... right? | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1579 | Finders, keepers! | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1580 | Wanna a Bite? | 1.2945 | 0.04840 | 163 | 129 | 20 | 14 |
1581 | It’s too easy! | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1582 | Yep, another hitchhiker. He thinks I'm taking him to Hawaii. Dinner at 7?" Sunil Mahtani, Westport, CT sm@kingfisherinvestors.co | 1.2945 | 0.03581 | 163 | 120 | 40 | 3 |
1583 | Yeah, I'm hungry... but where's the sport in it? | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1584 | He’s made no eye contact whatsoever and has been on the phone since he stepped off shore! | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1585 | No thanks I have my own lunch. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1586 | He knows it's dangerous, but sometimes the only way to keep your head above water is a loan shark. | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1587 | Will you judge me if I drop him? | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1588 | I’m lulling him into a false sense of security. | 1.2945 | 0.03982 | 163 | 119 | 40 | 4 |
1589 | Yes, Steve, I do know this looks bad, and no, I do not have a plan to resolve this amicably. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1590 | I call it lifeguard bating. | 1.2945 | 0.04122 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1591 | It's all I can get after that Katy Perry gig. | 1.2945 | 0.04302 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1592 | Swimming with the sharks, he calls it. To think I left a good job at Sea World for this. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1593 | It's Hemingway's great grandson. | 1.2945 | 0.03130 | 163 | 135 | 22 | 6 |
1594 | I hate it when lawyers go on vacation and think they’re one of us. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1595 | Yes, I am saving it for later. | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1596 | So how do you like my new periscope? | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1597 | You've heard of the marshmallow test? If I wait, a second one will come along and I can eat both of them. | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1598 | Wanna see me flip him into my mouth whole? The look of fear and surprise is delightful. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1599 | No, really! The guy in the white coat said if I hold off for 15 minutes, I can have two. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1600 | But I did get the better half! | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1601 | I'm rethinking this Uber gig. | 1.2945 | 0.04681 | 163 | 127 | 24 | 12 |
1602 | I found him first. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1603 | “I know it’s a mannequin. I’m fishing for lifeguards.” | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1604 | For being a Shepard of the sea, Aquaman is kinda an ass | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1605 | I might as well come out and admit it. I feel that I 'm a dolphin. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1606 | I'm off probation after my community service hours are completed. | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1607 | And the bottom half makes a one-of-a-kind hat. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1608 | Your order is here. | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1609 | If I don't carry a snack for the kids I can't even get them out of the bay | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1610 | It is proprietary. I think this idea has legs. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1611 | Morty, be honest.... does this pair of human legs make me look fat? | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1612 | Standing room only. | 1.2945 | 0.04122 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1613 | Marco? | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1614 | When do we let him know he's not standing on a rock? | 1.2945 | 0.04389 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1615 | He's not heavy. He's my brother up the food chain. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1616 | I have a family to feed. | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1617 | I had the top half for lunch, the bottom half I'm saving for supper. | 1.2945 | 0.04681 | 163 | 127 | 24 | 12 |
1618 | Not only that, he's spinning a hula hoop. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1619 | Cirque de Soleil. Avoid 'em--it's like chewing on a broomstick. | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1620 | Our deal is that he scratches my back, and I don't scratch his. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1621 | I was told it was potluck. | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1622 | It's a perfect meal. Surf & Turf. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 126 | 28 | 9 |
1623 | Just play along. Dinner is later. | 1.2945 | 0.04076 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1624 | Snack time! Ready? on 1...2...3! | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1625 | Please don’t eat my therapy human this time, Steve. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1626 | It's called "delayed gratification". | 1.2945 | 0.03982 | 163 | 119 | 40 | 4 |
1627 | It was either this or goat yoga. | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1628 | I decided to go with Lyft. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1629 | I had a big breakfast, but I'll be hungry again in an hour. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1630 | Looks like someone is getting excited for People Week... | 1.2945 | 0.04600 | 163 | 126 | 26 | 11 |
1631 | No, Frank, you can't "borrow" my emotional support animal. | 1.2945 | 0.04517 | 163 | 125 | 28 | 10 |
1632 | If I hear "nice hat!" one more time... | 1.2945 | 0.04432 | 163 | 124 | 30 | 9 |
1633 | I think of it as the massage lunch package. | 1.2945 | 0.04761 | 163 | 128 | 22 | 13 |
1634 | I ordered Uber eats and got Uber lift instead. | 1.2945 | 0.03581 | 163 | 120 | 40 | 3 |
1635 | Airbnb. The wife's idea. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1636 | If he thinks he’s on a surfboard, he’s in for a big surprise!! | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1637 | We're a duo - I've got the fins, he's got the shins... for now. | 1.2945 | 0.04346 | 163 | 123 | 32 | 8 |
1638 | Because they taste better when they're really fresh. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1639 | Working for Uber Eats has really helped pay down my student loan debt. | 1.2945 | 0.04258 | 163 | 122 | 34 | 7 |
1640 | I'm not distracted, I've just got a lot on my mind. | 1.2945 | 0.04122 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1641 | This will keep it fresh until we get home and eat. | 1.2934 | 0.04357 | 167 | 127 | 31 | 9 |
1642 | Humans, always looking out for danger when it's right under their feet. | 1.2934 | 0.04439 | 167 | 128 | 29 | 10 |
1643 | I feel like I forgot something... | 1.2934 | 0.04012 | 167 | 123 | 39 | 5 |
1644 | Are you hungry for schmuck? | 1.2934 | 0.04519 | 167 | 129 | 27 | 11 |
1645 | So, I get this sonar call, I show up at some spot, someone climbs aboard and off we go. | 1.2934 | 0.04357 | 167 | 127 | 31 | 9 |
1646 | I'm no marine biologist but this doesn't feel like a sucker fish. | 1.2934 | 0.04273 | 167 | 126 | 33 | 8 |
1647 | These days you just look at an endangered species and The Man will be ridin’ your back for years” | 1.2934 | 0.04101 | 167 | 129 | 29 | 9 |
1648 | He says that if I support him it will improve our reputation. | 1.2934 | 0.04188 | 167 | 125 | 35 | 7 |
1649 | That's when I get this sense of things being unreal and I feel detached from myself and I just don't know what to do. | 1.2934 | 0.04188 | 167 | 125 | 35 | 7 |
1650 | Weight-bearing exercise is super important as you get older. | 1.2934 | 0.04357 | 167 | 127 | 31 | 9 |
1651 | Camouflage. | 1.2934 | 0.04101 | 167 | 124 | 37 | 6 |
1652 | Since I started seeing him three times a week, my neck is 100% better. | 1.2917 | 0.04167 | 168 | 126 | 35 | 7 |
1653 | I don't have the heart to tell the guy that he's no longer standing on a sandbar. | 1.2917 | 0.04416 | 168 | 129 | 29 | 10 |
1654 | Okay, yes I'm using a decoy. Some of us are not as fast as we used to be. | 1.2917 | 0.04251 | 168 | 127 | 33 | 8 |
1655 | No kidding? I've never tried shiatsu. | 1.2917 | 0.04334 | 168 | 128 | 31 | 9 |
1656 | Too skinny. I’m gonna throw this one back. | 1.2917 | 0.04416 | 168 | 129 | 29 | 10 |
1657 | Yeah Jack. All they see from shore is a guy bobbing around having fun. It's my sure-fire meal ticket! | 1.2917 | 0.04416 | 168 | 129 | 29 | 10 |
1658 | Here you go. Thanks for calling GrubHub. | 1.2917 | 0.04652 | 168 | 132 | 23 | 13 |
1659 | He’s my emotional support pet, or if that doesn’t help, a midday snack. | 1.2917 | 0.04496 | 168 | 130 | 27 | 11 |
1660 | Hungry? I just ate his other half. | 1.2917 | 0.04416 | 168 | 129 | 29 | 10 |
1661 | I'm saving it for a snack attack. | 1.2917 | 0.03992 | 168 | 123 | 39 | 5 |
1662 | On 3. 1...2... | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1663 | Its something called ride sharing. | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1664 | The surfboard was very filling. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1665 | How long have you been an Uber Shark? | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1666 | I don’t get it. This massage thing is just not what it’s cracked up to be. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1667 | Eat this guy, will ya. I can't shake him. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1668 | The worst part is his feet smell. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1669 | Don’t judge me. I think we can make this relationship work. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1670 | We're both vegan. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1671 | Dude gives me a back massage and I don’t eat him, fair deal? | 1.2909 | 0.03598 | 165 | 125 | 35 | 5 |
1672 | Sometimes you get exactly what you wish for. | 1.2909 | 0.04125 | 165 | 128 | 28 | 9 |
1673 | I didn't believe in chiropractors either. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1674 | I'm saving this half for brunch. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1675 | Works great for my sciatica. | 1.2909 | 0.04125 | 165 | 123 | 36 | 6 |
1676 | Dinner is served Madam. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1677 | I picked up dinner on the way home. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 122 | 38 | 5 |
1678 | He keeps calling me Flipper. I'm playing along until lunchtime. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1679 | One leg, his Instagram goes viral, and I'm the bad guy. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1680 | I ate his surfboard. Now what? | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1681 | He wants me to swim near the surface so he can impress some chick Mary Magdalene... | 1.2909 | 0.04788 | 165 | 131 | 20 | 14 |
1682 | This is why I don't come to New York anymore, it's just not a challenge here. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 122 | 38 | 5 |
1683 | Every time I go on a diet, temptation comes a clompin'." | 1.2909 | 0.03598 | 165 | 125 | 35 | 5 |
1684 | I picked up lunch for you | 1.2909 | 0.03894 | 165 | 123 | 37 | 5 |
1685 | He thinks he is standing on the bottom. Watch this! | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1686 | The ones trying to swim with us are a little more satisfying. Less fat, more filling. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1687 | I brought home takeout. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1688 | Back off -- where are we gonna find another chiropractor? | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1689 | It's just easier than carrying a lunch sack. | 1.2909 | 0.03941 | 165 | 121 | 40 | 4 |
1690 | I don’t have the heart to tell him. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 122 | 38 | 5 |
1691 | I’ve taken a job with Lyft! | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 123 | 34 | 7 |
1692 | It’s from that new take-out place down the beach. I’ll let you know later if it lives up to the buzz. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 126 | 31 | 8 |
1693 | I have to digest his surfboard before I eat him. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1694 | port-a-snack | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1695 | He thinks he's standing on the bottom. We can dine when the others arrive. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1696 | I tried being nice to him for once, and now he won't leave me alone. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1697 | Please don't eat him. My back has never felt so good. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1698 | AND TODAY'S SPECIAL APPETIZER,,HOMME. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1699 | I knew I it was a mistake to go Vegan. | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1700 | After he gives me shiatsu, I'm giving him a pedicure. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1701 | My headache's gone. | 1.2909 | 0.04169 | 165 | 126 | 31 | 8 |
1702 | I have to replace the board I damaged | 1.2909 | 0.03042 | 165 | 130 | 29 | 6 |
1703 | I’d dump him, but turns out he does wonders for my sciatica. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 122 | 38 | 5 |
1704 | They’re endangered | 1.2909 | 0.03598 | 165 | 130 | 28 | 7 |
1705 | I'm not holding him up, he thinks he's holding me down. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 122 | 38 | 5 |
1706 | Ok fine, as long as it won’t spoil your dinner. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1707 | You wanna take him for a while. I gotta keep movin’. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1708 | It feels so good when he wiggles his toes. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1709 | He's the best ashiatsu massage therapist outside of Cancun. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1710 | This guy just won't get off my back - can you give him a scare? | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1711 | I thought you said it was a potluck. | 1.2909 | 0.04125 | 165 | 123 | 36 | 6 |
1712 | I didn’t have a choice - I ate his surfboard! | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1713 | I'm his Uber diver. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1714 | He's a cousin of ours - a loan shark. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1715 | I think they’re taking this “apex predator” thing a little too far. | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1716 | If I move, do you think he’ll yell SHARK? | 1.2909 | 0.03332 | 165 | 130 | 28 | 7 |
1717 | Don’t ask. It’s Brexit. | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1718 | Shark surfing is trending. You free for dinner? | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1719 | Isn't this what you wanted for dinner? | 1.2909 | 0.03749 | 165 | 119 | 44 | 2 |
1720 | When you said "meet me at noon" I didn't realize it was for lunch. | 1.2909 | 0.03941 | 165 | 121 | 40 | 4 |
1721 | I like to play with my food before eating it. | 1.2909 | 0.04125 | 165 | 123 | 36 | 6 |
1722 | I'd eat him except he has our cell phone. | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 128 | 29 | 8 |
1723 | I’m stuffed. Would you like the other half? | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1724 | Will you get this guy off my back please? | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1725 | I carry my lunch. | 1.2909 | 0.04469 | 165 | 127 | 28 | 10 |
1726 | I told him that if he doesn’t get off my back, I’m going to eat him. But I didn’t tell him that I’m going to him anyway. | 1.2909 | 0.04257 | 165 | 127 | 29 | 9 |
1727 | Be honest, is the hat too much? | 1.2909 | 0.04034 | 165 | 127 | 30 | 8 |
1728 | You can have the first bite. | 1.2909 | 0.04631 | 165 | 129 | 24 | 12 |
1729 | I'm just giving him a lift before I have a bite to eat. | 1.2909 | 0.04300 | 165 | 125 | 32 | 8 |
1730 | You know the one about the scorpion and the frog? | 1.2909 | 0.04385 | 165 | 126 | 30 | 9 |
1731 | He’s afraid of water over his head. Sharks, not so much. | 1.2909 | 0.04125 | 165 | 123 | 36 | 6 |
1732 | Should I let him finish his hot dog first? | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1733 | I'm bringing the food. Did you get the drinks? | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1734 | Well, Darren, maybe this is my happy place. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1735 | I know I look funny but you wouldn't believe the reception. | 1.2909 | 0.04213 | 165 | 124 | 34 | 7 |
1736 | I owe him. I ate his ex-wife. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1737 | Go ahead, I had a late lunch. | 1.2909 | 0.03941 | 165 | 121 | 40 | 4 |
1738 | On the count of three, let’s grab lunch. | 1.2909 | 0.04551 | 165 | 128 | 26 | 11 |
1739 | One more lawyer joke and he’s toast. | 1.2909 | 0.04631 | 165 | 129 | 24 | 12 |
1740 | It's BYOB, right? | 1.2883 | 0.04824 | 163 | 130 | 19 | 14 |
1741 | Why does stupid taste so good? | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1742 | Wow, the odds of being stepped on by a human is a million to one, we should play powerball this week. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1743 | Yeah, you just sign up through the ridesharing app. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1744 | He thinks I am an Uber | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1745 | He's free-range, humanely raised, and non-GMO. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1746 | Look...I did not go vegan because it was going to be easy, Walter! | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1747 | I know you told me not to give it a name... | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1748 | Dinner, ma'am , freshly served. | 1.2883 | 0.04582 | 163 | 127 | 25 | 11 |
1749 | If he calls me Flipper one more time... | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1750 | The lack of respect for the environment is getting out of control | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1751 | So then he looks at his cellphone and says, "You must be my Uber Fish." | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1752 | Do you want to break it to him...or should I? | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1753 | I eat anyone who gives me less than four stars. | 1.2883 | 0.03766 | 163 | 128 | 29 | 6 |
1754 | The worst part is that he keeps repeating that ridiculous song. | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1755 | He's gonna have to get a bigger shark. | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1756 | It's symbiotic, he's promised not to turn my fins into soup. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1757 | I suppose he thinks I'm a dolphin. | 1.2883 | 0.03962 | 163 | 125 | 31 | 7 |
1758 | Lawyers are taking this professional-courtesy thing to a whole other level." | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1759 | It’s called shark boarding but it isn’t catching on. | 1.2883 | 0.03962 | 163 | 120 | 39 | 4 |
1760 | Some of these guys, it's like they don't even want to be eaten! | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1761 | Don’t knock it. I’m getting 60 bucks an hour as a powered surfboard. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1762 | I think he’s got a career in stand-up. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1763 | And you get a snack after the back rub. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1764 | It's a long story. | 1.2883 | 0.04664 | 163 | 128 | 23 | 12 |
1765 | To combat our bad reputation, I thought I'd try the eco-tourism angle. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1766 | He’s a Shark Fin Soup protestor! | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1767 | Please tell me it's lunchtime. | 1.2883 | 0.04009 | 163 | 123 | 34 | 6 |
1768 | I had to go and attack a damn lawyer! | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1769 | I stopped biting people after my cardiologist suggested a plant-based diet. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1770 | Predatory lending? I’m only charging 10% interest to keep this guy afloat. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1771 | If you don’t tell him, I won’t tell him. | 1.2883 | 0.04582 | 163 | 127 | 25 | 11 |
1772 | When did this become a "thing"? | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1773 | He’s already booked me for Shark Week. And, he thinks I could be the next Jaws! So no you may not eat him. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1774 | I lost his law suit, I gotta live with the shame. | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1775 | Don't knock it. It's the best fishing lure I've ever used | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 129 | 24 | 10 |
1776 | I Think I'm A Vegan. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1777 | I think it's some kind of remora. See if you can scrape it off me. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1778 | It's my new diet. You have to balance your food. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1779 | I'm picking up a few extra bucks working for Uber. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1780 | His chiropractic technique is simply delicious! | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 127 | 27 | 9 |
1781 | He said his name is Fonzie and he's just doing it for the ratings. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1782 | Says he's a shark spotter | 1.2883 | 0.04824 | 163 | 130 | 19 | 14 |
1783 | The legs are enticing, but the massage is incredible. | 1.2883 | 0.04499 | 163 | 126 | 27 | 10 |
1784 | They get a tad mealy if you just let 'em drown. | 1.2883 | 0.04745 | 163 | 129 | 21 | 13 |
1785 | I promised once more around before we eat him. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1786 | I know I said I'd be home an hour ago, but look -- I brought you my leftovers! | 1.2883 | 0.04745 | 163 | 129 | 21 | 13 |
1787 | You’ve never had a foot massage? Oh, man, try it! | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1788 | I ate his paddle board by mistake and now I feel sorry for him. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1789 | This all started with those @#&* dolphins. | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1790 | It just pee`d on me. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?! | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1791 | You're about to witness, "The Ultimate Wedgie!" | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1792 | This joker thinks he’s standing on a sandbar! Ya hungry? | 1.2883 | 0.04457 | 163 | 128 | 24 | 11 |
1793 | Hungry for some surf 'n' turf? | 1.2883 | 0.04582 | 163 | 127 | 25 | 11 |
1794 | He thinks I'm a sandbar and it would be awkward to move now. | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1795 | Did you order Grubhub? | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1796 | I know, but they're even more delicious if they bake in the sun for a few minutes until they're well done. | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1797 | Don't judge me, bro... everyone's side gig is Uber | 1.2883 | 0.04582 | 163 | 127 | 25 | 11 |
1798 | “He sure as hell stuck the landing!” | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1799 | I just like the way it feels, okay ? | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1800 | That's the deal: I let him take a selfie surfing a shark, and he lets me eat him with no fuss | 1.2883 | 0.04149 | 163 | 122 | 35 | 6 |
1801 | These millennial snorkelers are awfully entitled. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1802 | Packing my own lunch is a chore, but nothing beats eating locals. | 1.2883 | 0.04414 | 163 | 125 | 29 | 9 |
1803 | I hate it when the old Sea World training kicks in. | 1.2883 | 0.04327 | 163 | 124 | 31 | 8 |
1804 | What about you? Ever wanted to try paddle boarding? | 1.2883 | 0.04239 | 163 | 123 | 33 | 7 |
1805 | We made a deal.....I get a back rub, and he gets to live. | 1.2875 | 0.04003 | 160 | 118 | 38 | 4 |
1806 | Watch this back flip! then we'll eat. | 1.2857 | 0.04091 | 154 | 114 | 36 | 4 |
1807 | We have a kinship. His legs are great and white. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1808 | I call it Farm-to-table. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1809 | So, after I swallowed his surfboard... | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1810 | I ate his surfboard. | 1.2857 | 0.04762 | 154 | 121 | 22 | 11 |
1811 | Don’t laugh if I don’t eat this guy for fifteen minutes I get a second one! | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1812 | Brining 101 | 1.2857 | 0.03220 | 154 | 119 | 31 | 4 |
1813 | What, you don’t play with your food?! | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1814 | I’m going to miss him after I eat him. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1815 | It's court-ordered restitution for eating his surfboard | 1.2857 | 0.04193 | 154 | 115 | 34 | 5 |
1816 | Welcome to Sea World. | 1.2857 | 0.04079 | 161 | 120 | 36 | 5 |
1817 | Can you help me; I'm trying to get this monkey off my back. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1818 | I'm afraid if I eat him it'll affect my star rating. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1819 | And we just ate. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1820 | The fin. He thinks I'm a rescue porpoise. Just wait ONE minute! | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1821 | Keep your jaws off him. I'm saving him for dessert. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1822 | He's auditioning for America's Got Talent. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1823 | Want to share lunch? | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1824 | I'll flip him and then we split him. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1825 | First the massage, then the meal | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1826 | Stop playing with your food Larry. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1827 | He’s my only link to the outside world.. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1828 | Sharks are the scooters of the sea,” he said | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1829 | I could use a good toothpick in about 30 seconds. | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1830 | My therapist says I need to submit more. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1831 | you can't just let him walk all over you! | 1.2857 | 0.04762 | 154 | 121 | 22 | 11 |
1832 | I don't know; something about jumping the shark." | 1.2857 | 0.04293 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 6 |
1833 | The flavor is improved if they feel well supported | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1834 | It's called aquatic reflexology" | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1835 | You do it your way, I'll do it mine. | 1.2857 | 0.04580 | 154 | 119 | 26 | 9 |
1836 | He's for my hard-to-scratch spots. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1837 | Saved you the lower half | 1.2857 | 0.04672 | 154 | 120 | 24 | 10 |
1838 | Dinner is served. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1839 | That’ll be $22.50 plus tip. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1840 | My wife sent me out for food for our daughter's graduation party. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1841 | This is as close as he gets to be God and walking on water. | 1.2857 | 0.04342 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
1842 | Unlike you, I can live with it, Roger. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1843 | I owe the local loan shark a favor. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1844 | It started out as a bump on my fin. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1845 | They call it treading water. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1846 | They tell me I'm part of the cutting edge of surfing. | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1847 | Sometimes I really wish I hadn’t gone vegan | 1.2857 | 0.04850 | 154 | 122 | 20 | 12 |
1848 | What can I say? My stomach, like my heart, is full. | 1.2857 | 0.04762 | 154 | 121 | 22 | 11 |
1849 | He's an intern in my law firm's summer program. | 1.2857 | 0.04243 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
1850 | Don't ask, he's paying me. | 1.2857 | 0.04391 | 154 | 117 | 30 | 7 |
1851 | I think he's getting ready to jump the shark! | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1852 | One day we’re going to look back at this and laugh. | 1.2857 | 0.04443 | 161 | 124 | 28 | 9 |
1853 | I feel sorry for him, he can't swim! | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1854 | I don't enjoy this whole 'let's change our image' thing. | 1.2848 | 0.04025 | 158 | 117 | 37 | 4 |
1855 | Please don't eat my massage therapist! | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1856 | What odd growth? I don’t feel anything. | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1857 | I figured I'd give him a false sense of security. | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1858 | Tell me I’m not hallucinating. | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1859 | These young kids have never even heard of Jaws. | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1860 | Go ahead. Dare him to hang ten. | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1861 | Here's your dinner dear. You did say you wanted white meat meat, right? | 1.2848 | 0.04124 | 158 | 118 | 35 | 5 |
1862 | It's part of my community service for that incident last summer. | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1863 | Welcome to Sea World. It will all make sense after a while. | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1864 | Do you prefer him over easy or sunny-side up? | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1865 | I’m more of a leg and butt shark. | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1866 | It's the lack of respect that bothers me most. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1867 | I'm not very hungry. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1868 | Please tell me you like white meat. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1869 | He's mine... I'm taking him for a ride. | 1.2848 | 0.04124 | 158 | 118 | 35 | 5 |
1870 | Don’t go near the beach! | 1.2848 | 0.04124 | 158 | 122 | 29 | 7 |
1871 | he's telling them all to come on in, I'm serving in 5 minutes. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1872 | It’s leftovers, I ate the other half last night. | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1873 | You always say “save the leftovers “, but you never eat ‘em... | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1874 | Looks like they're making another Happy Days spin-off | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1875 | When I'm through playing, would you like breast or thigh? | 1.2848 | 0.04759 | 158 | 125 | 21 | 12 |
1876 | Why not? He gives a great back massage. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1877 | How do I get this monkey off my back? | 1.2848 | 0.04674 | 158 | 124 | 23 | 11 |
1878 | I know what it looks like, but it’s been great for my back pain! | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1879 | I’ve turned the page, Jeff, and now think of them as family. | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1880 | My Chiropractor said it's good for the Cartilage | 1.2848 | 0.04759 | 158 | 125 | 21 | 12 |
1881 | It's my community service and its killing me. | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1882 | Get ready. I heard him call out "C'mon everybody. The water feels great!" | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1883 | Next time you troll the bait. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1884 | You call Uber eats? | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1885 | Animal, vegetable, or optometrist? | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1886 | I hear it’s good for your core. | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1887 | He thinks I'm a rock. I'm just holding him here until I get hungry. | 1.2848 | 0.04075 | 158 | 120 | 32 | 6 |
1888 | I did the damn music! | 1.2848 | 0.03712 | 158 | 124 | 28 | 6 |
1889 | Yup. I know... "shark boarding". What's next? | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1890 | I mistakenly ate his board. A ride is the least I can do... | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1891 | It's called Ashiatsu and don't you dare ruin this for me ! | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 124 | 26 | 8 |
1892 | No, I'm on this 30 day cleanse now. | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1893 | I had a big breakfast. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1894 | Professional courtesy. He’s a member of the bar. | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1895 | Of course he's an attorney. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1896 | Manna from heaven. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1897 | The dolphin said this was the best way to get more subscribers on YouTube. | 1.2848 | 0.04172 | 158 | 126 | 22 | 10 |
1898 | Can we get fined for chumming? | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1899 | I'm stuffed. You want leftovers? | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1900 | Your delivery of a gluten free dinner | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1901 | ... because he thinks I'm a dolphin. You hungry? | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1902 | Who’s gonna tell him? | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1903 | Another consequence of global warming: a dorsal Finn. | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1904 | They’re treading a fin line. | 1.2848 | 0.04674 | 158 | 124 | 23 | 11 |
1905 | I told you not to eat that surfboard | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1906 | I'm gonna count to three... | 1.2848 | 0.04220 | 158 | 119 | 33 | 6 |
1907 | This new workplace tolerance training is so humiliating. | 1.2848 | 0.04498 | 158 | 122 | 27 | 9 |
1908 | Yeah, well, YOU try turning down a contract with the X-Games. | 1.2848 | 0.03974 | 158 | 119 | 34 | 5 |
1909 | I wasn't really hungry when I found him, so I figure I'll save him for later. | 1.2848 | 0.04025 | 158 | 117 | 37 | 4 |
1910 | First I must gain his trust. | 1.2848 | 0.04315 | 158 | 120 | 31 | 7 |
1911 | The gig economy has its ups and downs. | 1.2848 | 0.04587 | 158 | 123 | 25 | 10 |
1912 | Hold still. The wife is meatier. | 1.2848 | 0.04407 | 158 | 121 | 29 | 8 |
1913 | He thinks he’s swimming with dolphins. | 1.2830 | 0.04383 | 159 | 122 | 29 | 8 |
1914 | No, it's not like shooting fish in a barrel. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1915 | Free delivery! | 1.2821 | 0.04619 | 156 | 122 | 24 | 10 |
1916 | I support him for the tax breaks. | 1.2821 | 0.04097 | 156 | 119 | 31 | 6 |
1917 | I'm saving him for dinner. | 1.2821 | 0.03943 | 156 | 115 | 38 | 3 |
1918 | What? Do I have food on my face? | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1919 | Better than any pilot fish. He's a professional pilot. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1920 | Do you have a problem with professional courtesy? He’s a lawyer. | 1.2821 | 0.04390 | 156 | 122 | 25 | 9 |
1921 | I am bringing supper over to the new shark family that just moved in across the bay | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1922 | I'm tired of going around with a Chip on my shoulder. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1923 | No, I haven't seen Jaws. Why do you ask? | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1924 | I know it’s cliché, Gary, but I think it gives me an edge with the girls. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1925 | So what are YOU bringing to Terry's pot-luck dinner? | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1926 | I'm saving this half for lunch tomorrow. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1927 | He thinks he's on a sandbar. Watch me introduce some sharp shells. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1928 | I have an appointment with the doctor this week to get it removed. | 1.2821 | 0.04046 | 156 | 116 | 36 | 4 |
1929 | Jump the shark? | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1930 | You ordered, lunch? | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1931 | Hey honey, there was too much to eat at the party so I brought you some leftovers. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1932 | Some guy named Steven Spielberg. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1933 | I ate this guy's surfboard, now I have to do this for 2 weeks. | 1.2821 | 0.04046 | 156 | 116 | 36 | 4 |
1934 | It’s less conspicuous than when my dorsal fin sticks out of the water. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1935 | He insists; just because I ate his surfboard by mistake. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1936 | If you think this looks bad, stick your head up and get a look at the other half | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1937 | He's too skinny. I'm taking him back to shore." Michael Rogness, St. Paul, MN | 1.2821 | 0.04795 | 156 | 124 | 20 | 12 |
1938 | They call it shark surfing. I call it playing with my food. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1939 | Call it! Heads or tails? | 1.2821 | 0.04046 | 156 | 116 | 36 | 4 |
1940 | No one told me becoming vegan would lead to this! | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1941 | It’s the takeout half off meal deal. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1942 | I think the remoras are evolving. | 1.2821 | 0.04097 | 156 | 119 | 31 | 6 |
1943 | I signed on with Uber. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1944 | Play it cool. It's for his PETA campaign against Shark fin soup. | 1.2821 | 0.04619 | 156 | 122 | 24 | 10 |
1945 | This guy better give me five stars. | 1.2821 | 0.04483 | 156 | 123 | 23 | 10 |
1946 | I thought it was a really big remora. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1947 | Grab the other leg and let's make a wish. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1948 | Catch up, dude. The fin thing is a dead give away. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1949 | I finally got the monkey off my back, now this! | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1950 | He a fantastic and loving husband, but the constant surfacing for him to breath is getting old. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1951 | I’m codependent... | 1.2821 | 0.04795 | 156 | 124 | 20 | 12 |
1952 | I thought I'd help him find his surfboard before I eat him | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1953 | He wanted to say goodbye to his family. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1954 | I was full; I'm planning to finish it later on. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1955 | He failed to jump the shark. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1956 | You ordered the ‘Businessman Express’ lunch, Sir? | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1957 | I’d eat this guy, but I’m still full from those plastic bags. | 1.2821 | 0.04619 | 156 | 122 | 24 | 10 |
1958 | white people | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1959 | Do me a favor and eat this guy off my back | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1960 | It's the least I could offer after eating his surfboard. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1961 | Yeah, well, you should see his other half. Course, you can't. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1962 | I know; I'm an embarrassment to my species" | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1963 | Do me a favor and bite his leg. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 121 | 29 | 6 |
1964 | Hey, honey. Want to split a dessert? | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1965 | I could only eat half of it. Just wasn’t that hungry. | 1.2821 | 0.03782 | 156 | 126 | 21 | 9 |
1966 | It's either this or extinction. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1967 | Oh I thought it was a potluck! | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1968 | I know this looks bad, but I'm just not hungry, okay? | 1.2821 | 0.04046 | 156 | 116 | 36 | 4 |
1969 | I got a summer job as a surfboard. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1970 | I keep telling him I'm a fish not a mammal. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1971 | So... What do you think? Should we get him now or save him for later? | 1.2821 | 0.04619 | 156 | 122 | 24 | 10 |
1972 | It's the latest thing in evolution - my own decoy! | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1973 | ONE LAST TIME- I go low you go high | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1974 | I'm so full. Do you want the bottom half? | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1975 | I was going to eat him but my back is really feeling the benefit. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1976 | I'm only eating locally sourced. This guy was flown in from DesMoines." | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1977 | He’s starting to piss me off. | 1.2821 | 0.03836 | 156 | 121 | 30 | 5 |
1978 | It’s the same guy who was struck by lightning last week. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1979 | It’s the latest millennial thing - shark yoga. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1980 | If I stop swimming his shorts fall down. | 1.2821 | 0.04619 | 156 | 122 | 24 | 10 |
1981 | I told you my friend was a "stand-up" kind of guy | 1.2821 | 0.03614 | 156 | 117 | 36 | 3 |
1982 | Hi sweetie. Just wanted to show you that I am not a bottom feeder. | 1.2821 | 0.04197 | 156 | 120 | 29 | 7 |
1983 | Thanks,but I brought my lunch today. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1984 | You know what’s been on my mind lately? | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1985 | Great Meal Aboard" | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 120 | 31 | 5 |
1986 | It's one of those no frills around the world cruise | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1987 | I like to save the bottom half for dessert. | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1988 | Do I look like a surfboard? | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1989 | I've got the entree" | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1990 | I brought you dinner. | 1.2821 | 0.04147 | 156 | 117 | 34 | 5 |
1991 | You'll have to talk to the man upstairs. | 1.2821 | 0.04529 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 9 |
1992 | "The dolphin mask worked like a charm." | 1.2821 | 0.04342 | 156 | 119 | 30 | 7 |
1993 | They`re featuring me in a nature film - "When Fish Had Feet". | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1994 | He doesn’t understand what jumping the shark really means! | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1995 | He's got my back, Dude. Move on! | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1996 | I was told to bring lunch. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1997 | This guy walks on my back every Wednesday. Does wonders for my sciatica. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
1998 | I hope you didn't cook, I brought take-out." David and Miriam, Pacifica, C | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
1999 | They think he's standing on a sandbar. | 1.2821 | 0.04246 | 156 | 118 | 32 | 6 |
2000 | I just can't shake this funny feeling. | 1.2821 | 0.04436 | 156 | 120 | 28 | 8 |
2001 | Can I get back with you? I'm going to lunch. | 1.2803 | 0.04271 | 157 | 122 | 27 | 8 |
2002 | Heads he's mine. Tails he's yours. | 1.2803 | 0.04025 | 157 | 117 | 36 | 4 |
2003 | You can Venmo me for your half. | 1.2803 | 0.03922 | 157 | 121 | 30 | 6 |
2004 | I can't bite him. I'm an Uber driver. | 1.2803 | 0.04503 | 157 | 122 | 26 | 9 |
2005 | With that global warming I feel like eating salad only. | 1.2803 | 0.04593 | 157 | 123 | 24 | 10 |
2006 | My nutritionist told me I needed to balance my diet | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2007 | His toenails are a little sharp. | 1.2803 | 0.04223 | 157 | 119 | 32 | 6 |
2008 | This one is yours, the last one gave me heartburn. | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2009 | I ate half, and I'm saving the rest for a snack later. | 1.2803 | 0.04271 | 157 | 122 | 27 | 8 |
2010 | He ain't heavy he's my dinner. | 1.2803 | 0.04223 | 157 | 119 | 32 | 6 |
2011 | I was saving him for later, but I'm hungry now. Want a bite? | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2012 | Would you care to share my appetizer"? | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2013 | Normally I'd be asking myself the same question, but his specialty is sshiatsu and my dorsal fin's been killing me. | 1.2803 | 0.04025 | 157 | 117 | 36 | 4 |
2014 | You had to choose NOW to suggest that we become Pescatarians?! | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2015 | Dibs on the crunchy part. | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2016 | There's this great new takeout place down the coast. | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2017 | I’ve had it up my neck with bloody tourists! | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2018 | Would you like fries with that? | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2019 | Is being vegan written all over my fins? | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2020 | Bringing lunch from home for a change. | 1.2803 | 0.04075 | 157 | 120 | 31 | 6 |
2021 | Did you order takeout? | 1.2803 | 0.04412 | 157 | 121 | 28 | 8 |
2022 | His Uber rating is a 4.7 | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2023 | I am beginning to rethink this Uber gig. | 1.2803 | 0.04223 | 157 | 119 | 32 | 6 |
2024 | Goat yoga is for sissies. | 1.2803 | 0.04768 | 157 | 125 | 20 | 12 |
2025 | I hope you don't mind, we're having take-out tonight. | 1.2803 | 0.04503 | 157 | 122 | 26 | 9 |
2026 | He likes a cigarette after we have sex. | 1.2803 | 0.04318 | 157 | 120 | 30 | 7 |
2027 | Take out is always best the day after. | 1.2803 | 0.03816 | 157 | 123 | 29 | 5 |
2028 | He wanted to impress his girlfriend but enough is enough! | 1.2803 | 0.04503 | 157 | 122 | 26 | 9 |
2029 | It helps with the cravings. | 1.2794 | 0.05186 | 136 | 109 | 16 | 11 |
2030 | You want this half? | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
2031 | It's not my dream job, but he pays me scale. | 1.2792 | 0.04652 | 154 | 121 | 23 | 10 |
2032 | I lost a bet. | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
2033 | It’s your Uber Eats fresh food delivery!” | 1.2792 | 0.04742 | 154 | 122 | 21 | 11 |
2034 | Make a wish. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2035 | This is our version of meals on wheels | 1.2792 | 0.04652 | 154 | 121 | 23 | 10 |
2036 | He’s my spotter. | 1.2792 | 0.04120 | 154 | 118 | 30 | 6 |
2037 | 'I thought you said he was supposed to jump'. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2038 | I only eat them if they don’t tip. | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
2039 | I've decided to go back on the Paleo diet. | 1.2792 | 0.04272 | 154 | 117 | 31 | 6 |
2040 | Weird. I heard him say “Hold my beer—watch this.” | 1.2792 | 0.04742 | 154 | 122 | 21 | 11 |
2041 | It's like Lyft and Uber Eats all in one. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2042 | There's nothing better than an ashiatsu massage before dinner. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2043 | Sea World has the nerve to call this "a promotion"? | 1.2792 | 0.04272 | 154 | 117 | 31 | 6 |
2044 | Wild, fresh caught! Help yourself! | 1.2792 | 0.04171 | 154 | 116 | 33 | 5 |
2045 | That disguise is not going to fool any of the swimmers, Sal. | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2046 | The top half tasted great, I’m just way too full to finish up. | 1.2792 | 0.04171 | 154 | 116 | 33 | 5 |
2047 | Yeah, I can't believe it either. | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2048 | Nah, too easy. | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
2049 | I'm a total magnet for humans. | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 123 | 21 | 10 |
2050 | Feels like remora, tastes like chicken. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2051 | My other option was cataract surgery. | 1.2792 | 0.04652 | 154 | 121 | 23 | 10 |
2052 | I bet if you say, 'Hey look! A phone!" he'll jump down right away | 1.2792 | 0.04171 | 154 | 116 | 32 | 5 |
2053 | Well, it WAS a shared ride. | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2054 | Bet you a fin I can flip him and catch him before you do a full circle. | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2055 | He took me for a ride! | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 121 | 26 | 7 |
2056 | They're paying me more than scale for Shark Week... | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2057 | He asked for a ride once, and now it's, like, every day! | 1.2792 | 0.04370 | 154 | 118 | 29 | 7 |
2058 | I enjoy them dry on top and wet on the bottom. | 1.2792 | 0.04652 | 154 | 121 | 23 | 10 |
2059 | For once I'd like to see how the other half lives. | 1.2792 | 0.04272 | 154 | 117 | 31 | 6 |
2060 | I guess he thinks I'm a skate. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2061 | I told the sucker I work for Uber. Now hurry home and tell the kids dinner's almost here. | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2062 | Doctor says it will help me quit | 1.2792 | 0.04560 | 154 | 120 | 25 | 9 |
2063 | It's still better than wearing Crocs. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2064 | You want to split an appetizer? | 1.2792 | 0.04272 | 154 | 117 | 31 | 6 |
2065 | He' ll teach me to walk I'll teach him to swim. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2066 | The back massage comes with a lunch option. | 1.2792 | 0.04466 | 154 | 119 | 27 | 8 |
2067 | The money is not great, but it's a job. | 1.2792 | 0.04068 | 154 | 115 | 35 | 4 |
2068 | Wait till he finds out where he really is. | 1.2792 | 0.04272 | 154 | 117 | 31 | 6 |
2069 | Hey Franck, by any chance, have you seen my lunch? | 1.2781 | 0.04806 | 151 | 120 | 20 | 11 |
2070 | I just got some takeout | 1.2781 | 0.04522 | 151 | 117 | 26 | 8 |
2071 | See if this is all that's left. | 1.2781 | 0.04619 | 151 | 118 | 24 | 9 |
2072 | He’s marinating. | 1.2781 | 0.04522 | 151 | 117 | 26 | 8 |
2073 | I can't get him of my back. | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2074 | It was 'all-you-could-eat' night at that little bistro by the sand bar. | 1.2781 | 0.04113 | 151 | 113 | 34 | 4 |
2075 | Would you like the other half? | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2076 | He told me he'd keep an eye out for Robert Shaw. | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2077 | Jaw, paper, fin?" | 1.2781 | 0.04666 | 151 | 121 | 19 | 11 |
2078 | He's outta his depth. | 1.2781 | 0.04619 | 151 | 118 | 24 | 9 |
2079 | I offered to give him some tips. He's a loan shark. | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2080 | Should I tell him that he's out of his depth? | 1.2781 | 0.04522 | 151 | 117 | 26 | 8 |
2081 | I’m trying a more balanced approach to eating. | 1.2781 | 0.04322 | 151 | 115 | 30 | 6 |
2082 | Oh boy Surfer Surprise for dinner tonight! | 1.2781 | 0.04522 | 151 | 117 | 26 | 8 |
2083 | Lawyer, professional courtesy. | 1.2781 | 0.04713 | 151 | 119 | 22 | 10 |
2084 | I guess I can say good-bye to flaunting my dorsal fin. | 1.2781 | 0.04522 | 151 | 117 | 26 | 8 |
2085 | Why don’t you try swimming with people | 1.2781 | 0.04322 | 151 | 115 | 30 | 6 |
2086 | Well, he's a lawyer. And a very good one at that. | 1.2781 | 0.04713 | 151 | 119 | 22 | 10 |
2087 | I had to pick up a side gig for Uber. | 1.2781 | 0.04619 | 151 | 118 | 24 | 9 |
2088 | As you'd guess from the legs, this species is called the Pale White. | 1.2781 | 0.04113 | 151 | 113 | 34 | 4 |
2089 | Yeah, well, you should've seen the one that got away. | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2090 | The idiot thinks I am a dolphin!! | 1.2781 | 0.04322 | 151 | 115 | 30 | 6 |
2091 | I heard you are a leg man. | 1.2781 | 0.04897 | 151 | 121 | 18 | 12 |
2092 | Grubhub delivery - did you order one whole swimmer and a coke? | 1.2781 | 0.04423 | 151 | 116 | 28 | 7 |
2093 | You're invading my territory again! This time I brought my lawyer. | 1.2752 | 0.04652 | 149 | 117 | 23 | 9 |
2094 | Did you know an estimated 100 million sharks are wantonly killed every year around the world? I think it is time we doing something about that, starting right here. | 1.2752 | 0.04025 | 149 | 111 | 35 | 3 |
2095 | I figure with the current state of politics they’ve got enough going on. | 1.2752 | 0.04244 | 149 | 113 | 31 | 5 |
2096 | Fast talking salesman... you go in for a massage, and come back with an edible periscope. | 1.2752 | 0.04453 | 149 | 115 | 27 | 7 |
2097 | It's a new reality show that's a mash up of Shark Tank and Survivor. | 1.2752 | 0.04652 | 149 | 117 | 23 | 9 |
2098 | If you order a decoy, spend the extra money for the model that waves its arms and screams Help! | 1.2752 | 0.04553 | 149 | 116 | 25 | 8 |
2099 | I'm just not in the mood for stalking and attacking tonight, dear, so I decided on carry-out. | 1.2752 | 0.04244 | 149 | 113 | 31 | 5 |
2100 | They just don't fear us anymore ever since those "Sharknado" movies came out. | 1.2752 | 0.04297 | 149 | 116 | 26 | 7 |
2101 | They've really become too comfortable after that Nemo movie. | 1.2752 | 0.04553 | 149 | 116 | 25 | 8 |
2102 | i try to remind myself: a caldera, the singularity, climate change, antibiotic resistance—something's gonna clip these dumbfucks. | 1.2752 | 0.04748 | 149 | 118 | 21 | 10 |
2103 | I've got to get my Uber driver rating back above 4 stars after last month's "incident". | 1.2752 | 0.04453 | 149 | 115 | 27 | 7 |
2104 | i'm saving half for dessert | 1.2752 | 0.04349 | 149 | 114 | 29 | 6 |
2105 | Play with your own food. | 1.2752 | 0.04244 | 149 | 113 | 31 | 5 |
2106 | 8.25 isn't enough to have the customers just walk all over you. | 1.2752 | 0.04553 | 149 | 116 | 25 | 8 |
2107 | Well, I couldn't make anything by biting people, so I started being an Uber driver. | 1.2752 | 0.04453 | 149 | 115 | 27 | 7 |
2108 | Ya. It’s my lawyer! Professional courtesy...gets me real close to the beach! | 1.2752 | 0.04652 | 149 | 117 | 23 | 9 |
2109 | This dumb surfer dude thinks I'm a dolphin. I'm just taking him far enough out to sea that no one will hear his screams. | 1.2752 | 0.04652 | 149 | 117 | 23 | 9 |
2110 | Dang, I lost mine! | 1.2752 | 0.04843 | 149 | 119 | 19 | 11 |
2111 | Being a vegan is easy. Here, try a little I Can't Believe It's Not Human. | 1.2752 | 0.04349 | 149 | 114 | 29 | 6 |
2112 | May I recommend a nice cabernet sauvignon to go with the gentleman’s entree? | 1.2752 | 0.04349 | 149 | 114 | 29 | 6 |
2113 | You ordered the veggie lover, hold the sun screen. | 1.2752 | 0.04349 | 149 | 114 | 29 | 6 |
2114 | Yeah, I know I should eat him, but he promised me a part in the upcoming "Sharknado" sequel. | 1.2752 | 0.04349 | 149 | 114 | 29 | 6 |
2115 | Eat him! What an appalling idea! You won't find a better Ashiatsu master for miles! | 1.2727 | 0.05151 | 110 | 85 | 20 | 5 |
2116 | Lunch is weighing me down again. | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2117 | do i have something on my back? | 1.2721 | 0.04585 | 147 | 115 | 24 | 8 |
2118 | The wife didn’t feel like eating out so I picked up some fast food | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2119 | Look! I found a wishbone. | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2120 | Does this make me look fat? | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2121 | It's just that I'm not that hungry right now. | 1.2721 | 0.04159 | 147 | 111 | 32 | 4 |
2122 | What? I'm celebrating Human Week. | 1.2721 | 0.04880 | 147 | 118 | 18 | 11 |
2123 | It's a potluck | 1.2721 | 0.04102 | 147 | 113 | 29 | 5 |
2124 | Pity. He was only a couple feet short of the dolphin tank. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2125 | SUP, man? | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2126 | Should I? | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2127 | First he called me Shamu, then... | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2128 | I'll stay here while you grab dinner for us both. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2129 | This model really works! Get ready for a feast when all the rescuers show up. | 1.2721 | 0.04159 | 147 | 111 | 32 | 4 |
2130 | I'm waiting for him to stop peeing. | 1.2721 | 0.04685 | 147 | 116 | 22 | 9 |
2131 | I can’t decide; shiatsu or lunch? | 1.2721 | 0.04585 | 147 | 115 | 24 | 8 |
2132 | Then pollution gets worse and worse each year. | 1.2721 | 0.03928 | 147 | 109 | 36 | 2 |
2133 | Seriously. What did you do with his surfboard? | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2134 | I hate lawyers! | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2135 | Not my fault. Said he was a chiropractor. | 1.2721 | 0.04685 | 147 | 116 | 22 | 9 |
2136 | Saving him for the barbecue on the 4th | 1.2721 | 0.04585 | 147 | 115 | 24 | 8 |
2137 | Can you get him off my back? | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2138 | I thought I might as well bring lunch. | 1.2721 | 0.04784 | 147 | 117 | 20 | 10 |
2139 | Discovery Channel needs to up our pay. These Shark Week bits are getting ridiculous. | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2140 | It’s similar to a monkey on my back but easier to get off. | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2141 | I ordered my meal “to go.” | 1.2721 | 0.04045 | 147 | 110 | 34 | 3 |
2142 | It's called fashion, Carl. | 1.2721 | 0.04880 | 147 | 118 | 18 | 11 |
2143 | I already ate the top half, so sure you can have the rest... | 1.2721 | 0.04045 | 147 | 110 | 34 | 3 |
2144 | Emotional support pet for now,snack if it doesn't work out. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2145 | He’s a Trump supporter | 1.2721 | 0.04685 | 147 | 116 | 22 | 9 |
2146 | He's in training to jump the shark. | 1.2721 | 0.04214 | 147 | 114 | 27 | 6 |
2147 | Humans are a pain in the neck | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2148 | So when I roll, grab his leg... | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2149 | You picked the wrong day to go vegetarian. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2150 | And then they blame us for going after their legs... | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2151 | From the surface we look like surf boards. | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2152 | Sorry honey, but it sure beats your fin massages. | 1.2721 | 0.04159 | 147 | 111 | 32 | 4 |
2153 | I actually never been this close to one before. | 1.2721 | 0.04784 | 147 | 117 | 20 | 10 |
2154 | What kind of wine goes with shlump? | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2155 | He is an instagram influencer. Says he can improve my click bait numbers. | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2156 | It's great as bait, but the temptation to snack on it is killing me. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2157 | Who him? His name is Fonzi. | 1.2721 | 0.04159 | 147 | 111 | 32 | 4 |
2158 | It’s like shooting one of us in a barrel. | 1.2721 | 0.04269 | 147 | 112 | 30 | 5 |
2159 | My shrink says I keep giving up my power. | 1.2721 | 0.04585 | 147 | 115 | 24 | 8 |
2160 | I keep telling you, their carry out is the best” | 1.2721 | 0.04585 | 147 | 115 | 24 | 8 |
2161 | It's a new Olympic Water Sport. . Shark Attack. | 1.2721 | 0.03619 | 147 | 114 | 29 | 4 |
2162 | Grubhub. I was tired." | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2163 | If your father sees you playing with humans again he’s going to bite your head off | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2164 | I know, but I felt sorry for the skinny bastard. | 1.2721 | 0.04159 | 147 | 111 | 32 | 4 |
2165 | So next I flip it up into the air and catch it in my jaws. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2166 | I have the answer to, “What’s for dinner tonight?” | 1.2721 | 0.04685 | 147 | 116 | 22 | 9 |
2167 | My plan is to take him six feet under. | 1.2721 | 0.04377 | 147 | 113 | 28 | 6 |
2168 | Cool hat Mark. | 1.2721 | 0.04482 | 147 | 114 | 26 | 7 |
2169 | I was fine with it till he started with the theme music. | 1.2703 | 0.03906 | 148 | 123 | 17 | 8 |
2170 | He’s with me. | 1.2703 | 0.04351 | 148 | 114 | 28 | 6 |
2171 | It's a living. | 1.2703 | 0.04657 | 148 | 117 | 22 | 9 |
2172 | Dark or light? | 1.2703 | 0.04351 | 148 | 114 | 28 | 6 |
2173 | I hate to burst his bubble. | 1.2703 | 0.04456 | 148 | 115 | 26 | 7 |
2174 | You're right, he's going to owe me one. | 1.2703 | 0.04657 | 148 | 117 | 22 | 9 |
2175 | Yeah, ok, fillet of sole. | 1.2703 | 0.04558 | 148 | 116 | 24 | 8 |
2176 | We have been here for 50 million years and all of a sudden these guys are stepping on us and scream bloody murder if we bite them. | 1.2703 | 0.04134 | 148 | 112 | 32 | 4 |
2177 | It's called Shark Lyft, and no you are not going to bite into my profits. | 1.2703 | 0.04456 | 148 | 115 | 26 | 7 |
2178 | I ate his surf board and he says I owe him." | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2179 | Hey look at me! I’m Carmen Miranda. | 1.2690 | 0.04720 | 145 | 115 | 21 | 9 |
2180 | We're bringing dessert. | 1.2690 | 0.04617 | 145 | 114 | 23 | 8 |
2181 | I picked it up on my way back from the keys, hopefully it'll go away on its own. | 1.2690 | 0.04295 | 145 | 111 | 29 | 5 |
2182 | This gig economy is killing me. | 1.2690 | 0.04617 | 145 | 114 | 23 | 8 |
2183 | The weather is getting warm and this is my first swimmer of the season. | 1.2690 | 0.04720 | 145 | 115 | 21 | 9 |
2184 | After biting a chunk out of his surfboard, I thought that I owed him. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2185 | I guess this guy never saw Jaws! | 1.2690 | 0.04617 | 145 | 114 | 23 | 8 |
2186 | Everyone takes advantage of vegans. | 1.2690 | 0.04512 | 145 | 113 | 25 | 7 |
2187 | He seems so comfortable I can’t bear to disturb him by rolling over and eating him yet. | 1.2690 | 0.04295 | 145 | 115 | 23 | 7 |
2188 | He's underwater financially and I want to be the lone shark. | 1.2690 | 0.04820 | 145 | 116 | 19 | 10 |
2189 | It's my turn to have the top portion. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2190 | You take the left one and I’ll take the right. | 1.2690 | 0.04065 | 145 | 109 | 33 | 3 |
2191 | They said 'Nice board shorts,' but he heard 'nice bored sharks.' | 1.2690 | 0.04238 | 145 | 113 | 26 | 6 |
2192 | He's not heavy, I ate his brother!. | 1.2690 | 0.04820 | 145 | 116 | 19 | 10 |
2193 | Get washed up. Dinner's on the table. | 1.2690 | 0.04512 | 145 | 113 | 25 | 7 |
2194 | I'm willing to go halfsies. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2195 | I find it causes less of a fuss than the fin. | 1.2690 | 0.04512 | 145 | 113 | 25 | 7 |
2196 | I just can’t seem to get this monkey off my back. | 1.2690 | 0.04617 | 145 | 114 | 23 | 8 |
2197 | If I eat him I'll lower my IQ score by 50. | 1.2690 | 0.04820 | 145 | 116 | 19 | 10 |
2198 | Damn global warming... | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2199 | I'm his balance trainer, heh, heh. | 1.2690 | 0.04182 | 145 | 110 | 31 | 4 |
2200 | I ordered it this morning on Amazon. | 1.2690 | 0.04295 | 145 | 111 | 29 | 5 |
2201 | I pick them up for Uber, but I drop them off for Uber Eats. | 1.2690 | 0.04720 | 145 | 115 | 21 | 9 |
2202 | There's too much news going around that sharks rarely bite humans. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2203 | Shark surfing, it’s a thing. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2204 | Have you seen the wife? | 1.2690 | 0.04617 | 145 | 114 | 23 | 8 |
2205 | I was catfished. | 1.2690 | 0.04405 | 145 | 112 | 27 | 6 |
2206 | My agent says it might help our image. | 1.2690 | 0.04182 | 145 | 110 | 31 | 4 |
2207 | He will soon find out he's not on a sandbar. | 1.2690 | 0.04512 | 145 | 113 | 25 | 7 |
2208 | This attracts more snacks than letting my fin stick above the water. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2209 | Soon he'll not have a leg to stand on. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2210 | Just until my periscope gets back from the repair shop. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2211 | It’s the El Chapo dorsal attachment. Gets a better reaction than the fin. | 1.2676 | 0.04784 | 142 | 113 | 20 | 9 |
2212 | You Frank? Good, here's your Scuber Eats delivery. | 1.2676 | 0.04784 | 142 | 113 | 20 | 9 |
2213 | This vegan diet is for the birds! | 1.2676 | 0.04989 | 142 | 115 | 16 | 11 |
2214 | Reparations. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2215 | It pays the bills. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 112 | 23 | 7 |
2216 | I mean as if the tagging wasn't bad enough. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2217 | I joined Lyft. This gig economy is getting me down. | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2218 | I prefer mine with ketchup. | 1.2676 | 0.04888 | 142 | 114 | 18 | 10 |
2219 | It’s Trump! He can’t swim ! | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2220 | Come on in ... I’m standing up! | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2221 | I'm cutting my portions in half. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2222 | My dermatologist tells me it is nothing to be concerned with. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2223 | I can't decide to eat him or keep him as my personal masseuse. I must admit it feels good! | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2224 | Animal, vegetable, or mineral? | 1.2676 | 0.04171 | 142 | 113 | 24 | 5 |
2225 | You know I am a vegan, Jessica. | 1.2676 | 0.04888 | 142 | 114 | 18 | 10 |
2226 | Apparently it is a form of extreme surfing. Let's hope it doesn't catch on | 1.2676 | 0.04111 | 142 | 107 | 32 | 3 |
2227 | Where's Katy Perry? | 1.2676 | 0.04888 | 142 | 114 | 18 | 10 |
2228 | Dude thinks he's Aqua-man. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2229 | They've become a lot more brazen since that cute baby shark song. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2230 | The jerk thinks I'm a coral reef- what the hell could I do??! | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2231 | I thought this was a potluck! | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2232 | But I like to play with my food! | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2233 | Well, at least we're not at Sea World. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2234 | We’re not allowed to bite until he learns to tread water. | 1.2676 | 0.03924 | 142 | 108 | 31 | 3 |
2235 | It's a Finn. | 1.2676 | 0.03377 | 142 | 114 | 23 | 5 |
2236 | Well at least he’s no longer skateboarding. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2237 | Ask him to move back and to the right. | 1.2676 | 0.04230 | 142 | 108 | 30 | 4 |
2238 | So, I see yours jumped the shark. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2239 | They gave me honorable mention for the ‘Family Beach Camouflaged Hat’ category. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2240 | They're better marinated. | 1.2676 | 0.04111 | 142 | 107 | 32 | 3 |
2241 | What do you mean I have food on my face? | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2242 | Unfortunately we do not have a leg to stand on. | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2243 | I am a stand in for Shark Week | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2244 | We call the service “Unter.” | 1.2676 | 0.04516 | 142 | 113 | 20 | 8 |
2245 | It's called 'symbiosis' Jim. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2246 | Wanna give him a pedicure? | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2247 | I have a feeling 'Jaws 5: Shark Surfer' is going to flop! | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2248 | Don't even ask where I got this, I'm fed up with you always copying my style. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2249 | I told you going vegan was a bad idea. | 1.2676 | 0.04679 | 142 | 112 | 22 | 8 |
2250 | He said we could switch after 5 minutes. Its been 20 | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2251 | I'm keeping an eye on that undertoe. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2252 | This is what it takes to be a Superhost. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2253 | My wife wants me to save money. I'm taking my lunch to work. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2254 | I thought volunteer work would be easy | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2255 | Just let it go, Josh. The poor bastard is up there screaming 'California Dreaming' at the top of his lungs. | 1.2676 | 0.04111 | 142 | 107 | 32 | 3 |
2256 | I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting to this new balanced diet. | 1.2676 | 0.03987 | 142 | 106 | 34 | 2 |
2257 | He’s worse than a lamprey! | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2258 | Damn millennials. | 1.2676 | 0.03987 | 142 | 106 | 34 | 2 |
2259 | You're so late that I decided to start lunch without you. | 1.2676 | 0.04784 | 142 | 113 | 20 | 9 |
2260 | How about we split 50-50? | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2261 | I ordered carry out, and they served me the counter man. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2262 | No, he can’t hang ten. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2263 | I always get mine "to go." | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2264 | Which half do you want? | 1.2676 | 0.04888 | 142 | 114 | 18 | 10 |
2265 | My therapist thinks I should strengthen my collaborative spirit. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2266 | It's the latest; UBER du Mer. I set my own work schedule. After training I received a discount card for seal sushi and if the client is overly abusive I can eat the them. | 1.2676 | 0.04571 | 142 | 111 | 24 | 7 |
2267 | I know! I know! I lost a bet! | 1.2676 | 0.04230 | 142 | 108 | 30 | 4 |
2268 | Guess we'll have to go a little deeper for privacy, dear. | 1.2676 | 0.04460 | 142 | 110 | 26 | 6 |
2269 | He came into the Tank promising his “patent pending” online beachwear had amazing sales and growth. Now I’m literally keeping him afloat. | 1.2676 | 0.05088 | 142 | 116 | 14 | 12 |
2270 | I love getting my weekly shiatsu! | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2271 | People give me a headache | 1.2657 | 0.04543 | 143 | 112 | 24 | 7 |
2272 | I can set my own hours and don't need a medallion. | 1.2643 | 0.04489 | 140 | 109 | 25 | 6 |
2273 | I love posing as a sandbar before dinner. | 1.2643 | 0.04713 | 140 | 111 | 21 | 8 |
2274 | This new diet is crushing me with everything I can't eat | 1.2643 | 0.04005 | 140 | 105 | 33 | 2 |
2275 | Hurry and take a pic for my Instagram page! | 1.2643 | 0.04602 | 140 | 110 | 23 | 7 |
2276 | He's a dentist. Can he fix my bite? | 1.2643 | 0.04602 | 140 | 110 | 23 | 7 |
2277 | Well, at least I'm employed. | 1.2643 | 0.04713 | 140 | 111 | 21 | 8 |
2278 | That's the last time I'll make a wager with Jimmy Buffett. | 1.2643 | 0.04254 | 140 | 107 | 29 | 4 |
2279 | Yes. I am relaxing, Master, I am taking slow breathes in and out of both gills...I feel like a peaceful swaying kelp flower..... but I still want to bite something. | 1.2643 | 0.04489 | 140 | 109 | 25 | 6 |
2280 | He said his Grandfather was on the Indianapolis, that's why. | 1.2643 | 0.04132 | 140 | 106 | 31 | 3 |
2281 | He's ours. You bring the avocado and I'll bring the cilantro. | 1.2643 | 0.04926 | 140 | 113 | 17 | 10 |
2282 | I lost a bet with him, sucks, embarrassing. | 1.2643 | 0.04713 | 140 | 111 | 21 | 8 |
2283 | The waters getting warmer, and I actually hope it’s climate change | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2284 | Why do I always get stuck with the drumsticks? | 1.2609 | 0.04460 | 138 | 110 | 21 | 7 |
2285 | Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to play with your food? | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2286 | I’d eat his foot but it smells bad. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2287 | This will be his last selfie | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2288 | He didn’t get the memo - it’s JUMP the shark idiot! | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2289 | 'Extreme surfing, it's going to be the next big thing.' | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2290 | Do you think he can surf with one leg? | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2291 | Maybe I was a dolphin in my past life! | 1.2609 | 0.04153 | 138 | 105 | 30 | 3 |
2292 | But my back was killing me. | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2293 | He thinks he’s in the shallows. | 1.2609 | 0.04153 | 138 | 105 | 30 | 3 |
2294 | I brought it home, you get it ready for dinner. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2295 | You should see the other half. | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2296 | I know, I know, but I like the way his toes tickle my back. | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2297 | He said he's got an idea to get us on "Shark Tank." | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2298 | This second job as an Uber driver is really breaking my back. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2299 | I'm giving him a leg up before I take it. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2300 | He's head and shoulders above the rest. | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2301 | Surfers! | 1.2609 | 0.04153 | 138 | 105 | 30 | 3 |
2302 | I like a bit of ashiatsu massage before dinner. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2303 | It's Michael Ovitz...I'm helping him with his comeback | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2304 | If I flip him, I get first dibs. | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2305 | Kiss me and I will Share. | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2306 | Actually, I'm waiting until dinner time. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2307 | Get paid to advertise on your head” | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2308 | As soon as I get hungry he won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.2609 | 0.04340 | 138 | 109 | 23 | 6 |
2309 | White meat - again! | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2310 | Just wait, he won't have a leg to stand on. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2311 | This vegan diet is driving me crazy. | 1.2609 | 0.05071 | 138 | 113 | 14 | 11 |
2312 | He promised that I would star in the remake of “Jaws”. | 1.2609 | 0.04153 | 138 | 105 | 30 | 3 |
2313 | It beats trying to use my fin for the itch on my back. | 1.2609 | 0.04153 | 138 | 105 | 29 | 3 |
2314 | His wife said to surprise him. | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2315 | It's this new thing called Uber Shark. You should sign up. | 1.2609 | 0.04024 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
2316 | I'm so sorry honey. I couldn't find a chubby one this week. | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2317 | I'm a rebel, Ma. I'll play with my food. | 1.2609 | 0.04857 | 138 | 111 | 18 | 9 |
2318 | So, now I'm a loan shark. | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2319 | Yes, I am STILL working on it! | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2320 | Let's see how they like it when we take one of their Finns | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2321 | Grown up shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo … | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2322 | He thinks he's on solid footing... watch this. | 1.2609 | 0.04279 | 138 | 106 | 28 | 4 |
2323 | I see this as a glass half empty/glass half full dilemma. | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2324 | He ain’t heavy, he’s my chum | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2325 | I cannot say he won’t be eaten. | 1.2609 | 0.04635 | 138 | 109 | 22 | 7 |
2326 | Uber shark, my ass. | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2327 | White meat or dark meat? | 1.2609 | 0.04519 | 138 | 108 | 24 | 6 |
2328 | Ashiatsu, followed by a protein snack, usually uplifts me from the slough of despond. | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2329 | I think he needs glasses. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2330 | The worst part is being taken for granted. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2331 | Here, you can have the bottom half. | 1.2593 | 0.04135 | 135 | 105 | 26 | 4 |
2332 | Get Spielberg on the line. He needs to make another one | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2333 | It's totally copasetic. I get the surfers, he gets their boards. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2334 | About 80,000 calories, wanna split it? | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2335 | Should've voted for Beto. | 1.2593 | 0.04928 | 135 | 109 | 17 | 9 |
2336 | Don't tell me you thought he really walked on water | 1.2593 | 0.03929 | 135 | 101 | 33 | 1 |
2337 | Would you trim a little off the top? | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2338 | Please, Doc! You gotta help me get this monkey off my back! | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2339 | Your turn for "William Tell" | 1.2593 | 0.02872 | 135 | 107 | 26 | 2 |
2340 | I’ve already had my day’s limit. Any interest? | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2341 | I make chum change, but it’s a steady gig. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2342 | Hor d'oeuvres at 5:00 PM OK? | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2343 | Thought he could jump the shark! | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2344 | I never leave without a packed lunch on my back. | 1.2593 | 0.04067 | 135 | 102 | 31 | 2 |
2345 | He thinks he's having a fabulous ride on his surfboard | 1.2593 | 0.03712 | 135 | 107 | 24 | 4 |
2346 | It is called Ride Sharing. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2347 | I like mine semi-dry, shaken, not stirred. | 1.2593 | 0.04928 | 135 | 109 | 17 | 9 |
2348 | Your turn, I need to go down | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2349 | Professional courtesy, he’s an attorney. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2350 | He'd better not start peeing... | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2351 | Well, how did YOU think he walked on water, Ezekiel? | 1.2593 | 0.03401 | 135 | 113 | 18 | 4 |
2352 | I didn’t know what having a monkey on my back really meant... | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2353 | I decided to try the new take-out spot everybody’s been raving about. | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2354 | Incredible balance and breathe control. | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2355 | Love your morsel fin | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2356 | He asked if he could just stick around to so show his girlfriend” | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2357 | It worked! Here comes his buddy! | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2358 | Sorry I can't fish with you today; he doesn't know how to swim. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2359 | Ugh . . . what fresh hell is this? | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2360 | You can eat him after he’s done giving me a back rub. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 112 | 16 | 7 |
2361 | That does it! I'm moving outta his wifi range. | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 106 | 26 | 3 |
2362 | I think it’s time for a remake of jaws. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2363 | This seal mistook me for a surfboard. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2364 | I’m in anger management therapy. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2365 | His feet tickle | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2366 | ‘’This is when my psychology degree comes in handy,let him think he’s the one in control and his friends will want to join him.’’ | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2367 | Here's betting he never saw Jaws | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2368 | Well, how do you carry “take-out”? | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2369 | Lyft wasn't kidding about inclusion! | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2370 | Scram! After he takes the selfie, he's my lunch. | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2371 | The best I could manage is a visual decoy. We are still working on a human call. | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2372 | Just be honest with me, how bad does it look? | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2373 | I know... I know it's unbecoming.... but the dude has a wicked Oriental foot massage technique. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2374 | Thanks to global warming, Sharq is the new Lyft. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2375 | He’ll attract the tastier ones | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2376 | This is what I get for eating his board. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2377 | I gave him a choice. Be my periscope, or be my lunch. | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2378 | 'Dolphin gigs pay.' | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2379 | If my daddy could see me now. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2380 | I felt guilty for taking a bite out of his surfboard | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2381 | Whadd ya mean , 'four squid is TOO much for a skinny one'? You do the shopping next time. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2382 | He thinks he's riding the crest of success. | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2383 | It’s professional courtesy- he’s a lawyer who got in over his head. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2384 | Yes, Uber is hiring. | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2385 | It's that damned "Baby Shark" song I blame for ruining our reputation | 1.2593 | 0.03786 | 135 | 110 | 19 | 6 |
2386 | My job is to catch the guys who don't get the metaphor. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2387 | He's just a chum. | 1.2593 | 0.04456 | 135 | 105 | 25 | 5 |
2388 | I took him to Key West and now he wants to go to Mara Lago | 1.2593 | 0.04201 | 135 | 103 | 29 | 3 |
2389 | He’s from Sea World | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2390 | You're right. It is a bit like shiatsu. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2391 | I could eat. All I had today was a bagel. | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2392 | Pilot fish are so passé | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2393 | Hang Ten? How about Eat One | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2394 | The doctor says it’s just a cyst. | 1.2593 | 0.04579 | 135 | 106 | 23 | 6 |
2395 | I wasn’t that hungry so I’ll finish it later. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2396 | Dinner's on the table. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2397 | Periscope up! | 1.2593 | 0.03999 | 135 | 108 | 20 | 6 |
2398 | Uber is thinking of expanding into new markets | 1.2593 | 0.04814 | 135 | 108 | 19 | 8 |
2399 | I like working for Uber Eats. | 1.2593 | 0.04928 | 135 | 109 | 17 | 9 |
2400 | Do you want the legs? I'm not a fan of dark meat. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2401 | If they take a selfie and don’t tag me, I eat them. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2402 | No Bob, it’s called ashiatsu massage. | 1.2593 | 0.04698 | 135 | 107 | 21 | 7 |
2403 | Can you feel bone spurs | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2404 | Technically, I caught him first !! | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2405 | Did you tell him we charge for rides? | 1.2574 | 0.04549 | 136 | 107 | 23 | 6 |
2406 | As soon as this guy gets off my back, we'll have that duel. | 1.2574 | 0.04549 | 136 | 107 | 23 | 6 |
2407 | Don't look at me like that! YOU had a monitoring device attached just last year! | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2408 | It's called 'yoga'. I hear the humans do it with goats in Portland. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2409 | Jaws wouldn't let this stand. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2410 | I'm just really full right now. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2411 | Did anyone order Scuba Eats? | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2412 | I work as a tourist trap. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2413 | I call it a periscope. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2414 | I'm saving this half for later. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2415 | Now do you believe I used to work at Sea World? | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 108 | 18 | 7 |
2416 | I can raise the average IQ in this ocean during lunch. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2417 | Jaws is finally out of syndication. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2418 | This is why I'm always humming "Duh-dumb, duh-dumb" before I eat these things. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2419 | Apparently the 'live surfboard' - thing is a trend now. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2420 | Well, it's a living... | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2421 | I packed a lunch today. You? | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2422 | I blame hoverboards. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2423 | Damn. Always when I’m meditating. Can you get this one? | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2424 | Well it’s better than being shark fin soup. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2425 | I'm stuffed after that last swimmer, but please, feel free to help yourself. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2426 | He just made partner. | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2427 | We'll have leftovers for dinner, is that O K with you? | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2428 | Because then I'd have to find a new chiropractor, genius. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2429 | I considered Lyft, but Uber gets me more business. | 1.2556 | 0.02953 | 133 | 111 | 19 | 3 |
2430 | It's like Uber, for sharks. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2431 | What ever happened to the thrill of the hunt? | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 107 | 19 | 7 |
2432 | It's not my taste but I got it half off. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2433 | New hood ornament. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2434 | Bad timing for us starting that vegetarian diet, Marshall. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2435 | Where's baby shark? | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2436 | I think it's a wishbone. Make a wish and on the count of three ... | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2437 | I'm scared - he's a loan shark! | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2438 | If only this guy knew how "in over his head" he really is. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2439 | He raised me from birth. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2440 | I like to marinate my meat first. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2441 | So he doesn't realise he's standing on shaky ground. Are you going to tell him? | 1.2556 | 0.03944 | 133 | 105 | 24 | 4 |
2442 | White man’s always keepin’ me down, man. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2443 | Apparently this is the new tracking tag system. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2444 | Enough of this, Are you ready to make a trade? | 1.2556 | 0.04967 | 133 | 108 | 16 | 9 |
2445 | So, okay, Mom, I turned Vegan - you gonna tell Dad? | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2446 | I'll give this guy 10 seconds to get off my back! | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2447 | Well sure, it's embarrassing, but if Clara found out I've eaten between meals I'd never hear the end of it. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2448 | I haven't the heart to let him know I'm not a rock. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2449 | They always taste better without a struggle. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2450 | Do I have a parasite on my back? | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2451 | It’s a new anti man-eating intervention program. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2452 | Here’s your meat order! | 1.2556 | 0.05191 | 133 | 110 | 12 | 11 |
2453 | I know, I know. "Don't play with your food." | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2454 | Wait'll he decides to step off! | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2455 | There's a new sushi takeout sandbar – off the west end of the pier. | 1.2556 | 0.04548 | 133 | 107 | 19 | 7 |
2456 | It’s simple: you take one, I take the other, and each of us makes a wish. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2457 | Ok, I'm trying to get with the new "Kindness PR" thing for sharks, but this is way too irritating! | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2458 | Great for your back, though | 1.2556 | 0.04290 | 133 | 105 | 23 | 5 |
2459 | Better than that shiatsu chair I bought. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2460 | Let me finish rehearsing for my audition at Sea World first. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2461 | And then when back feels better, you eat it! | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2462 | Uber Boat may pay the bills, but nothing beats Uber Eats. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 106 | 22 | 5 |
2463 | Seriously?" "I know... I just didn't have the heart to tell him... | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2464 | He keeps calling me “Flipper” too. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2465 | He aint heavy. He's my brother. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2466 | Would you like to invite him for dinner, or shall I? | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2467 | I've never recovered from life at Sea World. | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2468 | He's an apex predator. What else am I supposed to do? | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2469 | Sorry, I’ve gone keto. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2470 | Kevin, please don’t tell my dad... | 1.2556 | 0.03229 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
2471 | I haven't been eating between meals. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2472 | I believe I was a surfboard in a previous life. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2473 | In my previous life as a dog, I learned to balance treats on my nose. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2474 | He requested one last selfie. | 1.2556 | 0.04155 | 133 | 104 | 25 | 4 |
2475 | They ran out of doggie bags. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2476 | He feeds me. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2477 | This politically correct thing is starting to grate | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2478 | I thought this kind of stuff ended when Steve Irwin died. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2479 | It's Mueller. He's riding it out. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2480 | I’ve always wanted to be a dolphin. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2481 | Don't laugh, that itch was driving me crazy. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2482 | You know, I've heard of white privilege but this is ridiculous. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2483 | He has no idea ! | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2484 | I just don't have the heart to move. He thinks I'm a sandbar. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2485 | He thinks this is the shallow end and I don't have the heart to tell him. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2486 | He's not heavy, he's my brother. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2487 | People are friends, not food. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2488 | I am regretting being a pescatarian... | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2489 | Is there something on me? | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2490 | Fishing. Can you believe it? | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2491 | I would have eaten fewer of them had I known how good it feels to have them walk on my back. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2492 | Jeez Bob. The boss has been on my back all week! | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2493 | The stand-up paddleboard craze has brought me a lot of new clients. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2494 | Humans are friends, not food Jim. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2495 | Support sharks are allowed now." | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2496 | Got any ketchup? | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 106 | 22 | 5 |
2497 | Our dining experience just isn't the same. He hasn't looked up from his phone once. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2498 | Yes it's stylish, but the screaming is starting to bother me. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2499 | No cafeteria for me - I brought my lunch. | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2500 | After we eat him, we can break the wishbone. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2501 | Let's split it...one leg each. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2502 | I think that's President Trump looking for his golf ball. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2503 | Stopped smoking weeks ago but there is still a monkey on my back. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2504 | This guy must have gills of steel. I've been trying to drown him for hours. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2505 | Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2506 | I'm tired of dining on all of these free loaders." | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2507 | He says it’s symbiotic, but I feel like he’s walking all over me. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2508 | When it's my turn, I'll have him stick his head in my mouth. | 1.2556 | 0.02753 | 133 | 108 | 22 | 3 |
2509 | He's all yours. I'll be the dolphin this time. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2510 | I’m full. I thought I’d leave the rest for you. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2511 | Soon he'll have to change his name to Bob. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2512 | He gave up standing on principle long ago. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2513 | His Thai massage is to die for! | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2514 | Uber and Lyft pay better, but maybe he’ll hang ten | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2515 | I don't like this job either, bit it pays the rent. | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2516 | I can’t seem to get this monkey off my back,Stan. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 107 | 18 | 8 |
2517 | I saw him first! | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2518 | Let's grab lunch. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2519 | They are calling it Scuber. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2520 | He got 'Standing on the shoulder of giants' all wrong. | 1.2556 | 0.04967 | 133 | 108 | 16 | 9 |
2521 | Well, there are benefits for me too. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2522 | I said, "Okay, sure you can swim with the sharks, but who the hell gave them permission to stand on us?" | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2523 | It may look demeaning, but I'm told it's called 'rideshare'. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2524 | The joke’s wearing fin. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2525 | He wants one last selfie. | 1.2556 | 0.04421 | 133 | 106 | 21 | 6 |
2526 | Show a little professional courtesy to a lawyer, then what? | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 109 | 17 | 7 |
2527 | Let him post a few selfies first. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2528 | Jaws" Guilt... | 1.2556 | 0.04086 | 133 | 101 | 30 | 2 |
2529 | I'll play along for now | 1.2556 | 0.04223 | 133 | 102 | 28 | 3 |
2530 | I'm not exactly getting paid for the shoot, but I'll get a vignette in the special features. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2531 | He's an "ocean half full" kinda guy. | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2532 | Have you seen the guy with the tasty looking legs? | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2533 | Just wait ‘til he tries to hang-ten. | 1.2556 | 0.04851 | 133 | 109 | 15 | 9 |
2534 | He’s my midnight snack. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2535 | It's the latest new spa package - Thai massage, then lunch. | 1.2556 | 0.04732 | 133 | 106 | 20 | 7 |
2536 | Don't tell the guys, but I volunteer at You-Can-Swim on Fridays. | 1.2556 | 0.05191 | 133 | 110 | 12 | 11 |
2537 | These Shark Week photographers are getting pretty bold. | 1.2556 | 0.04610 | 133 | 105 | 22 | 6 |
2538 | He started with with praise and small fishes just like he did with the Orcas. | 1.2556 | 0.04485 | 133 | 104 | 24 | 5 |
2539 | So, I launched into my Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry impersonation. I said 'you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?' Epic non reaction. Zip, zero, nada." | 1.2556 | 0.04356 | 133 | 103 | 26 | 4 |
2540 | Lunch? No! It's Seaworld's first rodeo. | 1.2519 | 0.04641 | 131 | 104 | 21 | 6 |
2541 | It's not deep..... | 1.2519 | 0.04513 | 131 | 103 | 23 | 5 |
2542 | This is why I'm hoping a Jaws reboot gets greenlit | 1.2519 | 0.04641 | 131 | 104 | 21 | 6 |
2543 | Trust me, it's better than my last job. | 1.2519 | 0.04513 | 131 | 103 | 23 | 5 |
2544 | Why do you think he keeps saying, "I am proud to stand on the shoulders of those who came before me!"? | 1.2519 | 0.04175 | 131 | 103 | 24 | 4 |
2545 | I can’t believe you DON’T have one, Trevor. It’s the latest fashion. | 1.2519 | 0.04888 | 131 | 106 | 17 | 8 |
2546 | We'll attack after he posts his selfie. | 1.2519 | 0.04513 | 131 | 103 | 23 | 5 |
2547 | The feet feel really nice but I’m conflicted about the nature vs nurture thing. | 1.2519 | 0.04513 | 131 | 103 | 23 | 5 |
2548 | They're calling it "sharking." | 1.2519 | 0.04766 | 131 | 105 | 19 | 7 |
2549 | What do you mean, what’s in it for you? | 1.2519 | 0.04513 | 131 | 103 | 23 | 5 |
2550 | Mine's to go. | 1.2500 | 0.04150 | 128 | 98 | 28 | 2 |
2551 | Thought I’d get a foot massage before dinner. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2552 | Lighten up, it's casual Friday. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2553 | I can't eat him he owes me money, so I'm forced to carry him for awhile. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2554 | Too easy. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2555 | If he shouts "Cowabunga!" one more time he's an appetizer. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2556 | Where's the respect. | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2557 | Just bringing some leftovers to a potluck. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2558 | I rented myself out as a floatation device. Imagine his surprise when he gets the bill. | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2559 | This is the worst back massage I've ever gotten in my life. | 1.2500 | 0.03679 | 128 | 106 | 18 | 4 |
2560 | Professional courtesy to lawyers Frank Buckley Andover, MA | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2561 | At least with Scuber I get to set my own hours. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2562 | Our relation is somelike long distance relation but more itimate. | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2563 | I'm sick of this topping. | 1.2500 | 0.04573 | 128 | 101 | 22 | 5 |
2564 | I'm training him to attract bait. | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2565 | Welcome to Long Island, where they used to fear us | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2566 | When I volunteered to be a "support" animal, I thought it meant emotional support. | 1.2500 | 0.04296 | 128 | 99 | 26 | 3 |
2567 | Get out of the way, I need five stars for this ride. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2568 | It's a new fad with a huge downside | 1.2500 | 0.04573 | 128 | 101 | 22 | 5 |
2569 | Did you order the human? | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2570 | The kids wanted takeout. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2571 | You ordered Jake tartare? | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2572 | What are you looking at? Human bait is the new cologne. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2573 | My therapist said to keep calm but...he's really pushing my limits here | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2574 | False sense of security, and then breakfast. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2575 | Of course I'm hesitating--I was a broker in my previous life. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2576 | He won the Shark Tank, and I lost. | 1.2500 | 0.05083 | 128 | 105 | 14 | 9 |
2577 | Yeah, I know. Humans and their last wishes | 1.2500 | 0.04296 | 128 | 99 | 26 | 3 |
2578 | He thinks he’s walking on water. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2579 | Pet humans suck! | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2580 | A stand in for JAWS | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2581 | Did you eat the top half? | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2582 | Do we really want to attack the last member of the species that doesn't believe in global warming? | 1.2500 | 0.04078 | 132 | 101 | 29 | 2 |
2583 | I'm just giving him a false sense of security. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2584 | It's the new ride share called aqualyft. | 1.2500 | 0.03293 | 132 | 109 | 19 | 4 |
2585 | I’ll split him with you if you get him off my back | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2586 | Ever heard of the Marshmallow Test? | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2587 | I knew I shouldn't have become a vegetarian... | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2588 | Take-out for lunch | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2589 | He thinks I’m Flipper, lol | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2590 | Yeah! They’re not even as meaty as the chicken wings down at The Ocean Club. | 1.2500 | 0.04285 | 132 | 105 | 22 | 5 |
2591 | ewwwmooommmmm! getitoffgetitoffgeitofffffff!!! | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2592 | If you can't eat 'em, buoy 'em. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2593 | Once you deliver them to their destinations, you get to eat 25%. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2594 | Yeah, but the pay is good. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2595 | He has a long-running television show that’s about to make no sense. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2596 | I caught this one off the coast oF Long Island | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2597 | The flailing is more inspired when they're well rested. | 1.2500 | 0.04217 | 132 | 105 | 23 | 4 |
2598 | It's my lawyer, he's like family. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2599 | It's a little demeaning, but my small business is thriving. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2600 | Too lean for me. Wanna try a bite? | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2601 | And we look nothing like surfboards. | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2602 | Harvard Law. I'm stuck with him for the next twelve weeks. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2603 | Yes, but I’m a lot more tempted when he hangs ten. | 1.2500 | 0.04960 | 128 | 104 | 16 | 8 |
2604 | I’m packing a lunch. | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2605 | Just download the app: It’s “sharx” with an “x” | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2606 | So I started driving for SCUBER . I mean I’m back and forth anyway. | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2607 | it's like their marshmallow test, Dear... just eat him right now and risk the beach closing down...or wait 15minutes and feast when all his idiot buddies join! | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2608 | They really are atop of the food chain? | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2609 | He thinks he can still touch here. At this point I don’t know how to leave. | 1.2500 | 0.04854 | 132 | 107 | 17 | 8 |
2610 | The top half was tasty, but the bottom is stuck on my fin | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2611 | Next time I`ll go for the deep tissue, instead of the Thai massage. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2612 | The hard part was finding a taxidermist for this trophy. | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2613 | What he can't see can't hurt him. | 1.2500 | 0.04734 | 132 | 106 | 19 | 7 |
2614 | Watch me do a 180 and end this stand up paddle boarding craze forever. | 1.2500 | 0.04854 | 132 | 107 | 17 | 8 |
2615 | He thinks he is on his surfboard! | 1.2500 | 0.04854 | 132 | 107 | 17 | 8 |
2616 | It was funnier in the conception than the execution. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2617 | Did you call UberEats? | 1.2500 | 0.04285 | 132 | 105 | 22 | 5 |
2618 | They would call it chum. | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2619 | I just can't bring myself to do it. It feels soooo good. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2620 | I'm going to be late tonight. ...my boss has been on my back all week. | 1.2500 | 0.04960 | 128 | 104 | 16 | 8 |
2621 | Uber went under. | 1.2500 | 0.03706 | 132 | 106 | 22 | 4 |
2622 | You smell something fishy? | 1.2500 | 0.05087 | 132 | 109 | 13 | 10 |
2623 | The invitation said "Bring you own food". | 1.2500 | 0.04352 | 132 | 103 | 25 | 4 |
2624 | I don't know what it is got into me made me discover my compassionate nature somehow... | 1.2500 | 0.04296 | 128 | 99 | 26 | 3 |
2625 | It sucks being vegan. | 1.2500 | 0.04706 | 128 | 102 | 20 | 6 |
2626 | It's a steady gig until they get the L train fixed... | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2627 | Wanna' see something funny? | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2628 | He hasn’t seen the movie yet! | 1.2500 | 0.04573 | 128 | 101 | 22 | 5 |
2629 | Are you a Nurse Shark? He's gonna need you | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2630 | Nah, this one's an hors d'oeuvre. | 1.2500 | 0.04078 | 132 | 106 | 23 | 3 |
2631 | Adjusts my cartilage, then he's a snack. What's better than that! | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2632 | We gotta start targeting these millennials. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2633 | I like a balanced diet. | 1.2500 | 0.04573 | 128 | 101 | 22 | 5 |
2634 | Human interaction really weighs me down. | 1.2500 | 0.05083 | 128 | 105 | 14 | 9 |
2635 | 'Super Glue." | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2636 | I'm going to give him a few more minutes, then it's lunch time. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2637 | It’s almost too easy nowadays. | 1.2500 | 0.04296 | 128 | 99 | 26 | 3 |
2638 | He pays $500 a month in rent. | 1.2500 | 0.04437 | 128 | 100 | 24 | 4 |
2639 | Swimming with dolphins was one thing, but surfing with sharks...? | 1.2500 | 0.04150 | 128 | 98 | 28 | 2 |
2640 | The last time I ate legs like that,I became a vegetarian. | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2641 | I don't think I can tolerate this guys white privilege much longer. | 1.2500 | 0.04960 | 128 | 104 | 16 | 8 |
2642 | I hate when they don’t bring the food all at once, please, go ahead.... | 1.2500 | 0.04418 | 132 | 106 | 20 | 6 |
2643 | I ate his surf board and this is what the judge came up with. It's only on the weekends until i can come up with the cash. But you can eat him if you want... | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2644 | First they came for the whales... | 1.2500 | 0.04483 | 132 | 104 | 23 | 5 |
2645 | Slim pickens this season. | 1.2500 | 0.04610 | 132 | 105 | 21 | 6 |
2646 | I was raised in Seaworld. | 1.2500 | 0.04224 | 128 | 101 | 23 | 4 |
2647 | Yes I know, for 400 million years we were the undisputed apex predators, but pasty-leggs here is a cutthroat big Pharma lobbyist! | 1.2481 | 0.04801 | 129 | 104 | 18 | 7 |
2648 | How about this, he thinks he can get a free ride. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2649 | Stupid humans - in over their head and they never know it! | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2650 | It's community service | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2651 | He followed me home; can I keep him? | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2652 | Are you ready to make a wish? | 1.2460 | 0.04534 | 126 | 102 | 18 | 6 |
2653 | I know it's unconventional, but it really helps loosen up my back. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2654 | It's called symbiosis, Barry. I get a back massage and he gets to not be lunch. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2655 | This is the next step after swimming with dolphins. It's also the last step. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2656 | Lay off Killer. Our PR has been terrible since Jaws. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2657 | My doctor said I need to have a more balanced diet. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2658 | Humans...it's like they're trying to get eaten | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2659 | He said he’s a fascinator. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2660 | I wish they’d cut their toenails. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2661 | He's outside my HMO coverage,but what he does for my dorsal pain is worth it's weight in seal. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2662 | The polls say it makes me less threatening. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2663 | The hardest part is giving up human. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2664 | Okay, but I only sold out to A man, not THE man. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2665 | Its an experiment, see if we can develop a symbiotic relationship. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2666 | I deal with this every year during Shark Week | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2667 | Supposedly the adjustments will help with my lower fin issues. We'll see. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2668 | I am planning on a light lunch. | 1.2460 | 0.04169 | 126 | 97 | 27 | 2 |
2669 | I keep telling him he's going to need a bigger shark. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2670 | If this is what he thought they meant by 'swimming with the sharks', I'm going to show him what it means to put 'foot in mouth'. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2671 | He will be de-feeted! | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2672 | He says he's The Fonz and he's going to ruin television forever. | 1.2460 | 0.05125 | 126 | 104 | 13 | 9 |
2673 | This joker is about to get a food chain lesson he'll never forget. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2674 | It's part of the corporate training they're making us do called Being the Master of Your Impulses or some such b.s. like that. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2675 | He used to keep a lookout perched on someone else's gigantic tail. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2676 | Vegan sucks. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2677 | Of course I could eat him. But you forgot I’m a vegan. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2678 | Life at the aquatic park sure isn’t Jaws, is it?” Robert Van Brocklin, Portland, Ore | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2679 | I hear this all started with goat yoga. | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2680 | Hazel stared in stony silence. Once again George brought home the dark meat, having selfishly eaten all the white meat on the way home. | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2681 | I'm using him as bait for something meatier | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2682 | HE THOUGHT THEY SAID BAREFOOT IN THE PARK, NOT SHARK | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2683 | That's it. I'm so done entertaining people at SeaWorld. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2684 | You want a Piece of this? | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2685 | He just said come on in the water's fine. Tell the kids dinner will be ready in two minutes." | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2686 | They tell me it will improve my sex life. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2687 | This is my final test in my weight loss management course. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2688 | The stupid ones taste terrible! | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2689 | I have no qualms about eating something that stupid. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2690 | Sorry, I forgot the milk. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2691 | This new yoga is all the rage...humans climb on your back. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2692 | Listen, I’m sick of this Circue de Soleil stuff. It’s your turn! | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2693 | Yeah, I know how it looks, but Dolphin World was the only one hiring. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2694 | Seriously, how did we manage before Instagram? | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2695 | What... like you don't have any fetishes? | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2696 | I told you I'd get a leg up on you. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2697 | I thought it looked nice... But if you really hate it that much, I’ll return it. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2698 | I'm his Uber Pool. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2699 | Don’t say a word...he was dog paddling and got tired, what was I suppose to do? | 1.2460 | 0.04169 | 126 | 97 | 27 | 2 |
2700 | Well this can't make my scoliosis any better. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2701 | Sure, take it. But the upper half gave me gas. | 1.2460 | 0.04014 | 126 | 96 | 29 | 1 |
2702 | Where would you like to have dinner tonight? | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2703 | I always thought that "headstand" was something different! | 1.2460 | 0.03852 | 126 | 100 | 23 | 3 |
2704 | I brought my lunch today. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2705 | I've got a bite. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2706 | Don't laugh, it keeps the dorsal fin from showing. I can get super close before they realize I'm about to attack. | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2707 | He took a thorn out of my paw. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2708 | Dude, make him hang five | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2709 | I prefer the pilot fish cleaning | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2710 | So I figured, what the hell, why not moonlight as a Segway? | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2711 | This one is a slam-dunk. I dunk him. You slam him. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2712 | Karl, don't play with your food. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2713 | Ocean Uber Eats | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2714 | But I do kinda admire his chutzpah | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2715 | I'll do dinner tonight. | 1.2460 | 0.04014 | 126 | 96 | 29 | 1 |
2716 | He won’t swim with us. He says wading is safer. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2717 | I’m working PR for Animal Planet | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2718 | Amuse-bouche? | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2719 | I've had this persistent headache since shark surfing became a trend. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2720 | Just let them think you're a dolphin. We'll catch more that way. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2721 | It's called a Watsu massage, it was developed by some hippie in California. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2722 | His fearless naivety was so endearing I couldn't eat him. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2723 | Wait! He says his older brother will be bigger and tastier than he is. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2724 | Go ahead and laugh, I'm trying out a 'Stand Up' comedy routine | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2725 | In five minutes time he won't have a leg to stand on | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2726 | Its not my fault it you didn't pack a lunch | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2727 | That's what happens when you go vegan. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2728 | I just can’t shake the addiction ! They’re so delicious, but a bitch to clean ! | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2729 | I'm just waiting for it to marinate. | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2730 | You're late! Dinner's getting cold | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2731 | I just ate, so I'm keeping him for tomorrow. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2732 | It's not what you think! | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2733 | I don't want to drive Uber forever, but it pays the bills for now. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2734 | The hindquarters are not kosher. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2735 | ... and they think they are at the top of the food chain. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2736 | Obviously he hasn't seen Jaws"... | 1.2460 | 0.04319 | 126 | 98 | 25 | 3 |
2737 | Yeah, he wants to settle down but you know me. I have to keep moving. | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2738 | He’s holding my phone. | 1.2460 | 0.04603 | 126 | 100 | 21 | 5 |
2739 | I’ll admit, Uber Surfing is a niche market, but lunch is free. | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2740 | One Man's Uber is another Shark's Grubhub. | 1.2460 | 0.04871 | 126 | 102 | 17 | 7 |
2741 | I'm trying. I'm really trying." | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2742 | I bit his surfboard in half and this is part of the settlement. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2743 | Is this a good wishbone or what? | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2744 | Let's just say he's my wingman. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2745 | I can't talk now. My food is burning. | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2746 | I'm a surfboard. This is my life now. | 1.2439 | 0.05077 | 123 | 101 | 14 | 8 |
2747 | Never fails. These inflatable humans always manage to scare the baby sharks. | 1.2439 | 0.04808 | 123 | 99 | 18 | 6 |
2748 | It’s a symbiotic relationship so back off. | 1.2439 | 0.04808 | 123 | 99 | 18 | 6 |
2749 | He's on thin ice, well, was on thin ice. | 1.2439 | 0.04667 | 123 | 98 | 20 | 5 |
2750 | My overbite is the problem. | 1.2439 | 0.04944 | 123 | 100 | 16 | 7 |
2751 | For dramatic effect I have him make the “dunn dun, dunn dun” noise as I approach the shore. | 1.2439 | 0.04667 | 123 | 98 | 20 | 5 |
2752 | I've been working for Green Surfboard for a year now. | 1.2439 | 0.04808 | 123 | 99 | 18 | 6 |
2753 | If the rest is anything like the legs, he’s all yours. | 1.2439 | 0.04522 | 123 | 97 | 22 | 4 |
2754 | Apparently jumping the shark is now passe. | 1.2439 | 0.04522 | 123 | 97 | 22 | 4 |
2755 | I know, I know. I'm too aggressive-passive. | 1.2439 | 0.04522 | 123 | 97 | 22 | 4 |
2756 | I’m helping out with the shark watch.” | 1.2439 | 0.04808 | 123 | 99 | 18 | 6 |
2757 | What? I can't get a massage once in a while? | 1.2419 | 0.04341 | 124 | 97 | 24 | 3 |
2758 | My favorite, swimmer surprise! | 1.2419 | 0.04341 | 124 | 97 | 24 | 3 |
2759 | I never go anywhere without a snack. | 1.2419 | 0.04490 | 124 | 98 | 22 | 4 |
2760 | Yeah, but if I get hungry, I just dive. | 1.2419 | 0.04341 | 124 | 97 | 24 | 3 |
2761 | This is EXACTLY what it looks like. | 1.2419 | 0.04490 | 124 | 98 | 22 | 4 |
2762 | Well, he's a lawyer so its a professional courtesy thing. | 1.2419 | 0.05040 | 124 | 102 | 14 | 8 |
2763 | Yeah, but have you seen the hair on his back? | 1.2419 | 0.04490 | 124 | 98 | 22 | 4 |