Contest #662


Cartoon

662

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “It’s about time they settled down and razed a village.”
  2. “Did you see the rock he gave her?”
  3. "I love that no one wears the pants in their relationship."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-05-12T22:29:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-05-26T22:29:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-05-20T22:29:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued May 27, 2019
Number of captions 4907
Number of responses 938191
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Did you see the rock he gave her. 2.1602 0.00660 13275 2949 5250 5076
1 She's lucky. All the men I date are gatherers. 2.0950 0.00681 12081 2864 5205 4012
2 They met at the opera 2.0868 0.00672 12204 2880 5385 3939
3 Now I know why she calls him Hun. 2.0261 0.00737 11042 3175 4404 3463
4 I hear that they met on a Viking cruise. 1.9630 0.00770 10692 3592 3904 3196
5 It's progress. Her first husband was such a Neanderthal. 1.9628 0.00741 10684 3337 4407 2940
6 So, is this your first Minnesota wedding? 1.9364 0.00827 9659 3516 3241 2902
7 “It’s about time they settled down and razed a village.” 1.9289 0.00836 8983 3165 3292 2526
8 They met clubbing. 1.9205 0.00772 10285 3591 3921 2773
9 ...of course he 'takes' that woman. He's a viking. That's what they do. 1.8830 0.00802 9574 3574 3546 2454
10 They're registered at Blood Bath and Beyond. 1.8807 0.00853 9095 3616 2948 2531
11 Who knew there was a black rabbi in Norway? 1.8721 0.00945 7764 3249 2259 2256
12 I love that no one wears the pants in their relationship. 1.8692 0.00974 6154 2252 2455 1447
13 Kind of encouraging people can still find love in their middle ages. 1.8549 0.00915 6945 2596 2761 1588
14 He’s made a fortune in hostile takeovers. 1.8479 0.00887 7759 3049 2841 1869
15 I’m leaving before she tosses the sword. 1.8431 0.01013 5932 2342 2179 1411
16 Don’t even think of objecting. 1.8427 0.00956 6509 2528 2477 1504
17 They met on Ancestry.com. 1.8405 0.01032 5836 2352 2063 1421
18 She did describe him as horny. 1.7837 0.01046 5488 2370 1935 1183
19 Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 999. 1.7776 0.00971 6331 2750 2239 1342
20 I give it two harvests. 1.7741 0.00907 6875 2897 2634 1344
21 It's a mixed marriage: he's a plunderer and she's a pillager. 1.7721 0.01026 5283 2207 2073 1003
22 Doesn't she look ravaging! 1.7581 0.01007 5548 2395 2100 1053
23 I could have done without the reading from Beowulf. 1.7463 0.01431 2850 1284 1005 561
24 I hear they met on one of those Viking Cruises. 1.7358 0.03366 492 219 184 89
25 Let's hope tonight's the annual bath. 1.7333 0.00899 7477 3523 2425 1529
26 The third usher objected to the marriage. 1.7329 0.02221 1258 603 388 267
27 So I said to her, "Marge, you're never going to meet a real man online. Why don't you try one of those Viking Cruises?" 1.7260 0.00966 6021 2744 2183 1094
28 I shaved my legs for this? 1.7177 0.01029 5398 2519 1884 995
29 Suddenly these bridesmaids’ dresses don’t seem so bad. 1.7163 0.01025 4872 2134 1986 752
30 Her last husband’s funeral boat isn’t even cold yet. 1.7103 0.01078 4974 2367 1681 926
31 I guess this means that the reception dinner meal is all paleo. 1.7076 0.01136 4292 2000 1547 745
32 The invitation said nine thirty, but I thought A.M., not A.D. 1.7057 0.01178 4155 1990 1398 767
33 They met on Plundr. 1.7033 0.01239 3802 1840 1250 712
34 Now he wants to be called Erik the Wed. 1.6998 0.01224 3827 1843 1290 694
35 They plan to invade England for their honeymoon. 1.6965 0.01125 4366 2070 1551 745
36 They're registered at Sacks. 1.6908 0.01255 3590 1742 1216 632
37 If there is anyone who has a reason to object to this union my advice is to keep your mouth shut. 1.6903 0.01015 5402 2599 1877 926
38 Wow, that's quite a rock he got her. 1.6861 0.02058 1287 616 459 212
39 The pre-nup is set in stone. 1.6816 0.01317 3216 1572 1096 548
40 Did you see the size of her rock? 1.6783 0.01363 3049 1512 1006 531
41 Blind date, parking lot, Vikings vs Raiders. 1.6704 0.01272 3474 1737 1145 592
42 I will regret getting her into Game of Thrones until the day I die. 1.6651 0.02996 633 321 203 109
43 When she said she was marrying Norman, I assumed that was the guy's name. 1.6600 0.01290 3235 1607 1121 507
44 A black minister marrying a Viking couple under a chuppah. Now that's diversity 1.6512 0.01407 2818 1449 903 466
45 It's always the wife who converts. 1.6502 0.01296 3230 1638 1084 508
46 She's from Green Bay but she was always a Vikings fan. 1.6460 0.02318 1014 519 335 160
47 I hear they met at the opera." 1.6388 0.01430 2647 1367 869 411
48 Remember to go for the handle when you catch the sword. 1.6339 0.02377 915 465 320 130
49 She met him clubbing 1.6277 0.01882 1453 745 504 204
50 I heard she has a Hun in the oven. 1.6249 0.01553 2341 1264 691 386
51 It's her first marriage, and his first consensual one. 1.6182 0.01714 1789 942 588 259
52 They go way back. 1.6161 0.01794 1641 869 533 239
53 Are you as sick of Game of Thrones as me? 1.6113 0.01543 2372 1310 674 388
54 There's no way this is staying in Vegas. 1.6035 0.01579 2222 1230 643 349
55 If anyone sees any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now and rest in peace. 1.5995 0.02014 1306 712 405 189
56 I hear they registered at Blood Bath and Beyond. 1.5990 0.02026 1409 803 368 238
57 Marriage is a dated, barbaric ritual. 1.5976 0.02668 753 414 228 111
58 At least he's better than that Neanderthal she dated in college. 1.5966 0.02400 870 464 293 113
59 I teared up when they exchanged weapons. 1.5948 0.01954 1387 762 425 200
60 So glad we got to pick the dresses. 1.5927 0.01398 2482 1313 867 302
61 These Unitarian weddings are always interesting. 1.5883 0.01620 1987 1095 615 277
62 I"m surprised she went with the sleeveless bearskin 1.5808 0.01527 2123 1157 699 267
63 They met at a rally for the President 1.5806 0.01839 1755 1043 405 307
64 I hear he has a long ship. 1.5771 0.01672 1887 1065 555 267
65 It's the same dress her mother wore. 1.5728 0.01815 1594 904 467 223
66 And still, somehow, our dresses are worse. 1.5670 0.01822 1628 945 443 240
67 We’re not losing a hunter. We’re gaining a gatherer. 1.5668 0.01914 1318 727 435 156
68 When she said she was marrying a Viking, I thought she meant a football player. 1.5511 0.01878 1439 833 419 187
69 I think the've taken this paleo thing a little too far. 1.5508 0.01790 1605 935 456 214
70 I hear the entire banquet is forest to table. 1.5499 0.01877 1422 820 422 180
71 I told her marriage is a barbaric relic of the Middle Ages, and she was like, that's the perfect theme!" 1.5491 0.02001 1282 748 364 170
72 I wouldn't object if I were you. 1.5483 0.01908 1293 728 421 144
73 Stop whining. I still have the uniform from your Trek wedding. 1.5464 0.02907 604 353 172 79
74 They’ve been insufferable over their viking heritage ever since they had their DNA tested. 1.5452 0.02054 1216 714 341 161
75 They met on a Viking cruise, I assume." 1.5448 0.02531 736 417 237 82
76 No, I like the outfits. I did think the Goat Sacrifice was a bit much, though. 1.5448 0.02494 793 458 238 97
77 I now pronounce you Anglo & Saxon 1.5438 0.03137 537 320 142 75
78 The matching fanny packs is a nice touch. 1.5423 0.02081 1088 619 348 121
79 They hired a tribute band for the reception, The Pillage Veople. 1.5391 0.02214 1113 678 270 165
80 After what happened to the third groomsman, I'll bet everyone else holds their peace. 1.5372 0.02307 940 553 269 118
81 When Sue said she was marrying a Minnesota Viking I thought she meant a football player. 1.5367 0.02334 941 560 257 124
82 Some people just take their genetic profiles too seriously. 1.5365 0.02996 576 344 155 77
83 I can tell you right now it's gonna be for worse. 1.5330 0.03522 394 231 116 47
84 Where did he drag her in from? 1.5323 0.02889 620 373 164 83
85 Don't ask me. She an assistant manager at Starbucks and he's a CPA. 1.5304 0.02146 1086 646 304 136
86 When she told me her new guy was an international trader who specialised in foreign takeovers, that's not what I envisaged. 1.5288 0.02343 919 550 252 117
87 When they said they were having a traditional Scandinavian wedding, I thought that meant there would be a Lutheran minister. 1.5264 0.02222 1003 598 282 123
88 I just know, when he drags her down the isle by her hair, I'm going to cry. 1.5236 0.02526 825 507 204 114
89 They registered at Sack Fifth Avenue. 1.5226 0.02248 974 583 273 118
90 This is what happens when you use Ancestry.com as a dating site. 1.5190 0.02334 919 557 247 115
91 Not holding out hope for vegan options at the reception. 1.5190 0.02497 763 453 224 86
92 Wait til you see her cut the cake. 1.5180 0.02246 942 560 276 106
93 There’s no reception - we’re going to raid the Miller wedding. 1.5169 0.02781 650 396 172 82
94 Well, the wedding invitation did say ‘dress to kill’. 1.5126 0.02579 755 463 197 95
95 Would you believe they met at a Trump rally? 1.5105 0.02487 860 542 197 121
96 But they don't look Jewish. 1.5103 0.02438 825 503 223 99
97 It must be true love... She used to be a Packers fan. 1.5086 0.02312 875 525 255 95
98 10 to 1 they're not wearing underwear. 1.5079 0.02706 693 430 174 89
99 This is a marriage made in Valhalla. 1.5070 0.02472 791 482 217 92
100 After what happened to the third groomsman, I'll hold my peace. 1.5062 0.02308 883 533 253 97
101 I used to date him and let's just say the spear is not to scale. 1.5062 0.02446 808 493 221 94
102 Do you believe Lois wore those sandals with that sword? 1.5058 0.02435 781 469 229 83
103 To pillage and to burn... 1.5055 0.02270 912 551 261 100
104 You think this looks silly, my other friends were Dolphin fans. 1.5052 0.02753 675 422 165 88
105 Before we start, may I remind you this is a civil ceremony. 1.5040 0.02327 867 525 247 95
106 Before Trump this would have been funny. 1.5039 0.02621 762 482 176 104
107 If she throws that sword, I'm not catching it. 1.5035 0.02373 856 524 233 99
108 She’s only marrying him for his vessel. 1.5033 0.03230 461 282 126 53
109 Do you know when the fat lady is going to sing? 1.5019 0.03119 514 320 130 64
110 I can't tell if I'm overdressed or underdressed. 1.5018 0.02886 544 326 163 55
111 Reform Judaism has just gone too far. 1.5007 0.02749 671 421 164 86
112 So nice Linda's turning over a new Leif. 1.4971 0.02668 690 430 177 83
113 Always a wench-maid, never the wench. 1.4966 0.03292 441 272 119 50
114 It's a nice ceremony, but their funerals are better. 1.4964 0.02706 701 445 164 92
115 Did you take this woman? 1.4962 0.03142 522 332 121 69
116 It'll never last. She's from Green Bay. 1.4958 0.03192 474 294 125 55
117 We're just waiting for Siegfried to get here with the ring. 1.4954 0.02608 767 491 172 104
118 Looks like they both said yes to the dress! 1.4952 0.02605 729 457 183 89
119 I hadn’t realized they’re both from Minnesota. 1.4948 0.02586 768 489 178 101
120 Oh don't worry, it's all synthetic fur. 1.4948 0.02421 766 463 227 76
121 Poor thing, everyone knows big feet, small sword!" 1.4941 0.02855 593 369 155 69
122 I think I’ll skip the bouquet toss. 1.4929 0.02574 704 433 195 76
123 She's taking her ancestry results very seriously. 1.4912 0.02502 735 451 207 77
124 I'm just grateful they didn't go with the Adam and Eve theme. 1.4910 0.02596 666 405 195 66
125 They met while clubbing. 1.4908 0.02576 709 439 192 78
126 Her arse will be Thor in the morning. 1.4905 0.02808 687 450 137 100
127 She said she would only marry a guy hung like a Norse 1.4898 0.03372 443 282 105 56
128 You won’t believe the size of the rock he gave her! 1.4888 0.02582 671 409 196 66
129 Truly a match made in Valhalla. 1.4883 0.02563 684 418 198 68
130 apparently he has a several boats and loves to travel. 1.4879 0.02558 701 432 196 73
131 Can't wait to hear him try to pronounce Æthelflæd. 1.4875 0.02729 642 402 167 73
132 She says he’s great in the sacking 1.4856 0.02734 626 390 168 68
133 It won’t last. He does the pillaging, she does the plundering, but neither one cooks. 1.4851 0.02532 670 405 205 60
134 I'm starting to think the other groomsman isn't in the bathroom. 1.4846 0.02779 615 386 160 69
135 If she throws that sword, it's all yours. 1.4845 0.02624 677 422 182 73
136 “If anyone knows why these two should not be married, think carefully before speaking.” 1.4845 0.03008 483 294 144 45
137 With the power vested in me by Odin and the state of Nevada... 1.4830 0.02923 588 378 136 74
138 Just the gown cost an arm and a leg. 1.4821 0.02539 699 432 197 70
139 I'm telling you I can sense people who haven't been vaccinated. 1.4818 0.03030 523 331 132 60
140 I hear the ring came from a grandmother, not his... but someones! 1.4813 0.02674 642 400 175 67
141 ...in sickness and in helath, until you are set ablaze on a ship and pushed out to sea. 1.4812 0.02684 665 421 168 76
142 Thank god this is the last season of Game of Thrones 1.4810 0.02588 659 405 191 63
143 It’s time they settle down and raze a village. 1.4798 0.02638 669 420 177 72
144 She met him on a Viking cruise. 1.4798 0.02748 644 411 157 76
145 Psst...we’re all letting her sister catch the bridal sword, ok? 1.4788 0.02759 591 367 165 59
146 In high school he was voted 'Most Likely to Invade Ireland.' 1.4781 0.02647 663 417 175 71
147 I bet she kills him first. 1.4758 0.02752 620 393 159 68
148 I forget. Which episode is this? 1.4755 0.03829 326 208 81 37
149 She slayed the dress herself. 1.4741 0.03091 483 305 127 51
150 ...in pillage and in famine... 1.4737 0.03227 475 308 109 58
151 'Apparently he now wants to be known as Erik the Wed.' 1.4723 0.02806 595 379 151 65
152 They’re a perfect match. He sacks and she pillages. 1.4723 0.02679 631 397 170 64
153 May the Norse be with you. 1.4715 0.02758 615 392 156 67
154 it's a little ironic to call him the "groom" 1.4713 0.03031 505 321 130 54
155 Well I can tell you one thing. They didn’t meet online. 1.4707 0.02738 597 375 163 59
156 Delta always mixes up my luggage too. 1.4696 0.02876 592 385 136 71
157 When she said she was going Viking, I thought she meant appliances. 1.4695 0.02725 622 396 160 66
158 She said he was horny. 1.4687 0.02769 623 402 150 71
159 Apparently his DNA test kit said he’s one percent Scandinavian. 1.4680 0.03012 515 330 129 56
160 OMG! She’s wearing flats. 1.4674 0.03085 475 301 126 48
161 I didn't want to be a bridesmaid, but I was afraid to say no. 1.4648 0.02802 512 313 160 39
162 Finally ! They have been living together for ages 1.4644 0.03084 478 305 124 49
163 The reception will be Kosher Paleo 1.4644 0.02973 547 357 126 64
164 I heard that before the DNA tests they were both Irish. 1.4637 0.03003 496 315 132 49
165 Whatever you do, DON'T object! 1.4633 0.02893 559 361 137 61
166 I heard they met on Plundr. 1.4613 0.02805 555 351 152 52
167 Always the bridesmaid, never the warrior queen. 1.4608 0.02888 536 342 141 53
168 I understand the condo association still hasn’t decided. 1.4599 0.03473 387 251 94 42
169 I remember when she was a Democrat. 1.4599 0.02973 524 339 129 56
170 They meet at the Metropolitan Opera 1.4597 0.02899 533 341 139 53
171 It's the final season of Game of Thrones, Jan, let them have their moment." 1.4593 0.03005 492 314 130 48
172 Forever hold your peace would appear to be the prudent option, Margaret. 1.4593 0.03050 479 306 126 47
173 This is officially the most Reform temple I've ever seen. 1.4592 0.03020 527 346 120 61
174 I hate to ask in this environment,but what happened to the best man? 1.4591 0.03006 501 322 128 51
175 To halve and to hold... 1.4585 0.03659 349 227 84 38
176 I think they're going to love the NordicTrack I got them. 1.4576 0.02845 531 336 147 48
177 I can't wait to see them cut the cake. 1.4571 0.03591 361 235 87 39
178 Trust me. She'll be Thor in the morning. 1.4563 0.03269 458 304 99 55
179 I love the way he calls her Hun. 1.4562 0.02838 502 312 151 39
180 There is no gift list. They're going to raid Paris 1.4558 0.02976 520 338 127 55
181 Surprisingly, he's a vegan. 1.4556 0.02895 518 330 140 48
182 It's a very modern marriage, neither wears the pants. 1.4545 0.03045 495 322 121 52
183 It was a much bigger wedding before the bachelorette party. 1.4545 0.03058 495 323 119 53
184 She's wearing her grandmother's pelt! 1.4545 0.02950 517 334 131 52
185 I thought what happened in Reykjavik stayed in Reykjavik. 1.4545 0.02925 517 332 135 50
186 When she throws that thing it's all yours. 1.4544 0.03022 515 338 120 57
187 Are you going to tell Rachel about that ancestry kit mix up now or at the reception? 1.4544 0.03094 493 324 114 55
188 When she went paleo, I never imagined she'd take it this far. 1.4540 0.02934 533 347 130 56
189 They registered at IKEA. 1.4536 0.03118 485 319 112 54
190 I'd never marry a man with a spear that small. 1.4534 0.03089 494 325 114 55
191 'Plunder, pillage, and sack'? Did they write their own vows? 1.4527 0.03062 497 326 117 54
192 I think they're registered at IKEA. 1.4523 0.03055 524 350 111 63
193 I hear the mother-in-law is a real dragon. 1.4513 0.03263 421 273 106 42
194 The rabbi has agreed to say a blessing over the Val-challah 1.4500 0.03168 460 302 109 49
195 She said he was a barbarian. I thought she was kidding. 1.4499 0.03150 429 274 117 38
196 Ughhh...always the wenchmaid, never the wench. 1.4492 0.03079 472 307 118 47
197 She says he has a huge hammer. 1.4491 0.03121 501 336 105 60
198 Oddly enough, they met at a Mensa conference. 1.4489 0.03652 372 251 75 46
199 An open bar reception back at the boat, then looting and pillaging until dawn. 1.4486 0.03012 477 307 126 44
200 I'm skipping the bouquet toss. 1.4459 0.03359 379 244 101 34
201 This is the third 'Game of Thrones' wedding I've been in this year. 1.4452 0.03196 420 271 111 38
202 Why did she laugh after saying ''til death do us part'? 1.4452 0.03015 456 291 127 38
203 I hear they met clubbing. 1.4449 0.03078 472 309 116 47
204 So far, this has been a surprisingly civil ceremony. 1.4438 0.02878 480 303 141 36
205 Did you take this woman to be your wife? 1.4438 0.03011 480 312 123 45
206 The bride wore hide. 1.4437 0.03121 444 288 115 41
207 They said no gifts; they’ve already pillaged more than they need to get started. 1.4434 0.03147 442 288 112 42
208 Bold choice going with the matching fanny packs. 1.4432 0.03141 440 286 113 41
209 She’s always gone for horny old men 1.4430 0.03096 474 313 112 49
210 Don't you think the matching purses are a little much? 1.4426 0.03086 470 309 114 47
211 The third groomsman? We lost him in the combat at the rehearsal dinner. 1.4411 0.02948 467 298 132 37
212 I'm okay with the costumes, but "Do you take this wench?" is over the top. 1.4411 0.03126 433 280 115 38
213 Call me old fashioned, but I miss the days when brides wore white." 1.4406 0.03845 286 185 76 25
214 I still think it's weird that they call each other "Hun." 1.4403 0.03159 461 307 105 49
215 He's the President's Chief of Staff 1.4395 0.03437 430 297 77 56
216 I think I'll hold my peace. 1.4387 0.03154 424 275 112 37
217 I hope I catch the sword. 1.4385 0.03231 447 300 98 49
218 If anyone objects, well, good luck with that. 1.4382 0.03297 429 288 94 47
219 Did you get invited to the consummation? 1.4380 0.03450 395 266 85 44
220 Well. I think they got the "for worse part" nailed. 1.4380 0.03450 395 266 85 44
221 They met on a Viking river cruise. 1.4375 0.03178 448 298 104 46
222 Their choice of Wagner for the Wedding processional is making more sense! 1.4365 0.03093 449 294 114 41
223 For the honeymoon, they found a lovely little town to pillage. 1.4354 0.03066 441 286 118 37
224 Technically, it is a yarmulke. 1.4349 0.03642 338 225 79 34
225 Valhalla my ass, she’s Jewish and he’s Episcopal they’re going to Miami. 1.4348 0.03267 437 295 94 48
226 Do you promise to loot and to skirmish until death you impart? 1.4342 0.03173 433 286 106 41
227 When she said she was marrying a Viking, I thought she was talking about a football player. 1.4341 0.03191 410 267 108 35
228 You should see their funerals. 1.4341 0.03153 440 291 107 42
229 The funny thing is—they’re Jewish. 1.4339 0.03184 431 285 105 41
230 They've got that no "man put asunder" covered. 1.4331 0.03735 314 208 76 30
231 I only pray there will be utensils at the reception. 1.4328 0.03177 409 266 109 34
232 Don't object. It won't go well. 1.4326 0.03330 386 254 97 35
233 I feel like it was only yesterday when he raided her village. 1.4324 0.03323 377 246 99 32
234 They wrote their own battle cries. 1.4320 0.03252 412 273 100 39
235 Think they ever fight? 1.4319 0.03087 426 276 116 34
236 I thought I had fully prepared myself for a true Minnesota wedding, but I was wrong. 1.4319 0.03409 389 261 88 40
237 No worries. It’s fake fur. 1.4318 0.03072 403 256 120 27
238 I heard they met on a Viking Cruise. 1.4314 0.03335 401 268 93 40
239 She’s always had a thing for vintage. 1.4311 0.03520 341 224 87 30
240 It's been like this since they got their DNA results. On the up side, wait till you see the smorgasbord at the reception. 1.4308 0.03408 383 256 89 38
241 Someone took their DNA test too seriously. 1.4306 0.03091 418 270 116 32
242 This is what Stockholm syndrome is, right? 1.4302 0.03288 430 292 91 47
243 You know, Bridget, it could have been you holding that sword 1.4293 0.03208 389 252 107 30
244 Are you having mutton or fowl? 1.4286 0.03635 329 219 79 31
245 You may smite the bride. 1.4286 0.03420 399 272 83 44
246 There were three groomsmen, weren't there! 1.4282 0.03325 383 253 96 34
247 That sword is to long for those shoes. 1.4282 0.03432 376 252 87 37
248 It was sack and pillage at first sight. 1.4278 0.03399 381 255 89 37
249 I now pronounce you man and wife......you may drag the bride! 1.4275 0.03367 386 258 91 37
250 She had to convert. She used to be a Bears fan” 1.4263 0.03301 380 250 98 32
251 I'm so glad they finally got married, they've been engaged since the Stone Age! 1.4257 0.03162 404 264 108 32
252 They both come from old, old money 1.4247 0.03373 365 241 93 31
253 It's a good job they didn't pick the 'Star Wars' package. Otherwise, we'd all be in gold bikinis. 1.4247 0.03351 365 240 95 30
254 It's his fifth ring cycle. 1.4246 0.03368 398 270 87 41
255 They're honeymooning on a Viking River Cruise! 1.4246 0.03214 398 262 103 33
256 I can think of a lot of reasons and I'm keeping them to myself. 1.4244 0.03361 377 251 92 34
257 It all started when she said, "I'm turning over a new Leif." 1.4243 0.03224 403 267 101 35
258 At the reception, they're going to sacrifice the flower girl. 1.4242 0.03284 396 264 96 36
259 The Wagner music is a nice touch. 1.4242 0.03453 363 243 86 34
260 Oh they're rather progressive, Erik plans to be a stay at home dad, while Astrid pillages. 1.4236 0.03266 399 266 97 36
261 I thought she said he was really into Biking? 1.4236 0.03285 399 267 95 37
262 I understand they plan to sack Rome on their honeymoon... 1.4231 0.03340 390 262 91 37
263 I told her the shoes don't go with the sword. 1.4224 0.03242 393 260 100 33
264 It Takes a Pillage to Raise a Child. 1.4224 0.03417 393 269 82 42
265 Love is a battlefield. 1.4223 0.03539 341 228 82 31
266 I heard that the third groomsman died during the bachelor raid. 1.4216 0.03365 389 263 88 38
267 I heard he’s already building a man cave. 1.4212 0.03297 387 258 95 34
268 Tsk... you know he’s just marrying her for her fjord. 1.4208 0.03247 385 254 100 31
269 It's her second marriage. She says she's turning over a new Leif. 1.4188 0.03178 382 249 106 27
270 YOU tell him the horns aren't authentic. 1.4187 0.03360 363 241 92 30
271 I'm not sure...I just know they're going on a Viking cruise for the honeymoon. 1.4186 0.03724 301 201 74 26
272 I hope nobody objects... 1.4182 0.03637 318 213 77 28
273 When she said she was going to take a Viking, I thought she meant a river cruise. 1.4180 0.03371 378 255 88 35
274 Tuxedos and Spats for the men and we're in these shmattes. 1.4179 0.04115 268 184 56 28
275 I see two good reasons I'll forever hold my peace. 1.4173 0.03365 369 247 90 32
276 They are a match made in Valhalla 1.4172 0.03626 326 220 76 30
277 You got them a trebuchet, too? It was still on the registry! 1.4171 0.03418 374 254 84 36
278 Trump said he wants more Norwegians. 1.4171 0.03396 374 253 86 35
279 They met on ePillage. 1.4167 0.03409 372 252 85 35
280 Something gold, something runic, something forged, something looted. 1.4162 0.03357 370 248 90 32
281 I thought you said they met while HIKING. 1.4143 0.04010 251 167 64 20
282 She converted for him. 1.4142 0.03375 367 247 88 32
283 It was love at first smite. 1.4140 0.03343 372 250 90 32
284 I heard that instead of tossing the bouquet, we have to fight to the death. 1.4130 0.04264 230 155 55 20
285 I just assumed Viking referred to the cruise line. 1.4130 0.03739 339 238 62 39
286 That little belted purse goes perfectly with his outfit 1.4123 0.03312 359 238 94 27
287 Apparently they wrote their vows in norse code. 1.4121 0.03561 313 208 81 24
288 Apparently no one is going to wear the pants in this relationship. 1.4118 0.03325 357 237 93 27
289 I hear they're going on a Viking cruise for a honeymoon. 1.4118 0.03441 357 242 83 32
290 I got them a nice set of daggers. 1.4111 0.03467 343 231 83 29
291 I like theme weddings, but I’m nervous about the pillaging. 1.4108 0.03228 353 230 101 22
292 I now pronounce you viking and viqueen. 1.4104 0.03724 307 209 70 28
293 Their wedding registry is at IKEA. 1.4104 0.03724 307 209 70 28
294 Did you see the Rock on her finger? 1.4096 0.03483 354 242 79 33
295 Ride of the Valkyries is just too long for a wedding processional. 1.4092 0.03787 303 208 66 29
296 Who knew a "destination wedding" meant the twelfth century? 1.4088 0.03610 340 235 71 34
297 At first glance they seem somewhat suited for one another. 1.4086 0.03319 350 232 93 25
298 I heard someone smote the best man at the bachelor party. 1.4086 0.03488 350 239 79 32
299 I heard they booked The Pillage People for the party! 1.4086 0.03511 350 240 77 33
300 His uncle Hagar was a famous comic. 1.4085 0.03874 284 194 64 26
301 It’s about time. They’ve known each other for ages. 1.4070 0.03554 344 237 74 33
302 I hear they're planning to pillage a village for their honeymoon. 1.4064 0.03544 342 235 75 32
303 When she throws the bouquet, I'm ducking! 1.4064 0.03294 342 225 95 22
304 His first wife gets the cave. He gets the paintings. 1.4064 0.03371 342 228 89 25
305 He should have no trouble breaking the glass. 1.4037 0.03540 322 218 78 26
306 Have you seen their kitchen? All Viking appliances. 1.4031 0.03769 320 225 61 34
307 I pronounce you hun and hon. 1.4030 0.03545 335 230 75 30
308 Love his purse. 1.4024 0.03534 333 228 76 29
309 He's a pillager and she's a plunderer, but somehow it works 1.4024 0.03508 333 227 78 28
310 I'm happy that with the fourth try, the president found a woman who fits better to him. 1.4022 0.04144 276 197 47 32
311 It's not the best way to get Norwegian citizenship, but it is a way. 1.4019 0.03328 311 202 93 16
312 She claims it is a match made in Valhalla. 1.4018 0.03574 331 228 73 30
313 I should have suspected at the bachelorette party when she sacrificed a goat. 1.4013 0.03613 309 210 74 25
314 What do you give to the couple that has pillaged everything? 1.4012 0.03431 329 221 84 24
315 They were from the first wave of Trump supporters back in 2014. 1.4011 0.04981 182 128 35 19
316 Apparently it's possible to pillage two continents but impossible to find a bridesmaid's dress in anything but fuschia. 1.3994 0.03582 323 222 73 28
317 Blame it on ancestry.com 1.3994 0.03622 318 219 71 28
318 The invitation did say traditional dress. 1.3988 0.03460 321 216 82 23
319 No objections...not surprising! 1.3988 0.03651 321 223 68 30
320 I thought she said she was marrying a villager. 1.3988 0.03625 321 222 70 29
321 Don't worry. We'll hear the whole saga at the reception. 1.3988 0.03516 321 218 78 25
322 Just my luck, Magnus had to go off and impale the one cute groomsman. 1.3987 0.03652 311 214 70 27
323 It takes a pillage... 1.3981 0.03640 319 221 69 29
324 The honeymoon is on a Viking Cruise ship. 1.3981 0.03667 319 222 67 30
325 I've already forgotten. Is this Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings? 1.3981 0.03581 309 210 75 24
326 That dress has been in her family for ages. 1.3978 0.03711 279 188 71 20
327 Their 23andMe results came back 90% Neanderthal. 1.3975 0.03460 317 213 82 22
328 She studied animal husbandry 1.3975 0.03573 317 217 74 26
329 Well, I guess we can forget about anyone speaking out against the marriage. 1.3967 0.03552 305 206 77 22
330 Word has it that she's trading up. Her last husband was just a corporate raider. 1.3966 0.03729 295 203 67 25
331 And were you taken by this man... 1.3962 0.03576 313 214 74 25
332 I thought they said it would be a "low key" ceremony, not a "Loki" ceremony. 1.3962 0.03489 313 211 80 22
333 Did you hear the story about the ring? 1.3962 0.03604 313 215 72 26
334 How romantic! They first met pillaging this very church." 1.3955 0.03620 311 214 71 26
335 Congratulations on turning over a new Leif 1.3952 0.03700 291 199 69 23
336 You really have to hand it to Match.com! 1.3948 0.03519 309 209 78 22
337 The invites said paleo, but I thought they meant the buffet. 1.3948 0.03722 309 216 64 29
338 I'm just glad they aren't fans of 'Naked and Afraid' 1.3946 0.03918 294 209 54 31
339 'When they said 'Paleo', I thought they meant the catering.' 1.3929 0.03613 308 212 71 25
340 They're leaving immediately on their honeymoon Viking cruise. 1.3929 0.03584 308 211 73 24
341 They booked the Pillage People for the reception. 1.3929 0.03584 308 211 73 24
342 No, actually they’re both from Minnesota. 1.3929 0.03584 308 211 73 24
343 I hate destination weddings in Minnesota. 1.3925 0.03805 293 205 61 27
344 She's from Greenland; he's from Iceland, but somehow they make it work. 1.3925 0.03774 293 204 63 26
345 The broadsword was her grandmother’s 1.3925 0.03914 265 183 60 22
346 I am so glad we ordered the bridesmaid dresses before they picked a theme. 1.3920 0.03611 301 206 72 23
347 I thought it was just a diet 1.3919 0.03925 296 212 52 32
348 And to think I complained about the bridesmaid dresses. 1.3918 0.03792 291 203 62 26
349 These Minnesota Vikings fans can get carried away. 1.3918 0.03792 291 203 62 26
350 I'd hate to see their first fight. 1.3909 0.03500 307 208 78 21
351 Did you see the size of his club 1.3907 0.03809 302 214 58 30
352 This wedding isn't over until the fat lady sings. 1.3907 0.03751 302 212 62 28
353 Remember, when she throws her sword over her head, we duck. 1.3907 0.03601 302 207 72 23
354 If you think Viking weddings are something,you should see their funerals. 1.3907 0.04548 215 153 40 22
355 Heck no I'm not going to object to this marriage!! You object! 1.3900 0.03678 300 208 67 25
356 When I heard he was a big Vikings fan, I didn't expect this! 1.3900 0.03768 300 211 61 28
357 She takes ONE class about Viking history in college... 1.3895 0.03847 285 200 59 26
358 Don't you think she's taking her "3% Viking" ancestry too far? 1.3895 0.03814 285 199 61 25
359 They met on plunder.com. 1.3893 0.03664 298 206 68 24
360 I can't wait for the after-ceremony pillaging. 1.3885 0.03922 296 213 51 32
361 Viking weddings can't hold a candle to Viking funerals. 1.3885 0.03743 296 207 63 26
362 I hope the stone carver is getting all this. 1.3885 0.03618 296 203 71 22
363 I heard that they made their own weapons for the ceremony. 1.3875 0.03579 289 196 74 19
364 Minnesota is weird. 1.3870 0.03840 292 207 57 28
365 Well, at least he is NOT from a s#*thole country. 1.3870 0.03930 292 210 51 31
366 Are you going to the pillage after? 1.3870 0.03747 292 204 63 25
367 I bet the battle to catch the bouquet later is going to be epic. 1.3868 0.03595 287 195 73 19
368 They met in the East Pillage. 1.3862 0.03732 290 202 64 24
369 I didn’t know what post-Feminist meant either… 1.3862 0.03668 290 200 68 22
370 I prefer their funerals. 1.3862 0.03569 290 197 74 19
371 She'll make a wonderful battle ax. 1.3862 0.03732 290 202 64 24
372 Do you believe she said "Yes" to that dress? 1.3854 0.03717 288 200 65 23
373 Now do you believe me that they’re addicted to Game of Thrones? 1.3854 0.03782 288 202 61 25
374 Her sword still has blood on it from her last husband. 1.3854 0.03782 288 202 61 25
375 I'm not sure 'Ride of the Valkyries' is appropriate wedding music." 1.3854 0.03652 288 198 69 21
376 It's refreshing to see a relationship work from two different sides of the fjord. 1.3852 0.03672 270 183 70 17
377 The mother-in-law is the real battle-axe. 1.3850 0.04168 213 145 54 14
378 Did he just say you'll need to make some sacrifices? 1.3841 0.03829 276 193 60 23
379 If anyone knows a reason why these two should not be joined together... you better leave right now. 1.3841 0.03689 276 189 68 19
380 They've really adopted the paleo lifestyle. 1.3835 0.03900 279 198 55 26
381 I can see why she's marrying him - he carries a long spear. 1.3830 0.03564 282 191 74 17
382 I love the belt pouches... it's so 1990 1.3830 0.03634 282 193 70 19
383 His best man spoke. He's no longer with us. 1.3830 0.03770 282 197 62 23
384 She's seen the size of his longboat. 1.3830 0.03770 282 197 62 23
385 It's funny, they don't LOOK Jewish. 1.3821 0.03921 280 200 53 27
386 The matching purses are a little much. 1.3817 0.03859 262 182 60 20
387 Do you think that broadsword makes her look fat? 1.3813 0.03668 278 191 68 19
388 It's about time....I hear they've been dating for centuries! 1.3813 0.03703 278 192 66 20
389 They met on a singles crusade. 1.3813 0.03772 278 194 62 22
390 I just love their matching fanny packs. 1.3813 0.03874 278 197 56 25
391 I think he’s reading from Beowulf. 1.3813 0.03596 278 189 72 17
392 If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, I think that’s something best kept to yourself. 1.3810 0.03820 273 191 60 22
393 She was originally booty. 1.3804 0.03685 276 190 67 19
394 And, the reception is also Paleo. 1.3804 0.03756 276 192 63 21
395 A Chuppah with Wagner playing. It's meshuggah. 1.3804 0.04026 276 200 47 29
396 The part where they exchange weapons gets me every time. 1.3801 0.03804 271 189 61 21
397 It's a classic 'Boy pillages girl's father's village; girl's father trades girl for return of livestock' story. 1.3801 0.03767 271 188 63 20
398 All the sudden she's all "pillage this" and "plunder that." 1.3784 0.03962 259 183 54 22
399 Still better than her last husband. 1.3783 0.03767 267 185 63 19
400 "Pagan or not, they should have checked their weapons at the door like we did. This is America, not Vinland 1.3782 0.03949 238 164 58 16
401 Actually she's the one who's the Vikings fan. 1.3778 0.03847 270 190 58 22
402 The other groomsman was cute. I wish they hadn't offered him as a sacrifice to Odin. 1.3778 0.03882 270 191 56 23
403 Where’s the best man? Ten bucks says Siegfried forgot the Ring... 1.3778 0.03953 270 193 52 25
404 Do you, Kellyanne Conway and you George Conway agree to reaffirm your marriage vows until November 2020? 1.3770 0.04078 252 180 49 23
405 Are we underdressed or overdressed? 1.3765 0.03975 247 173 55 19
406 Well, at least the bridesmaid dress only cost me a goat. 1.3759 0.03774 266 185 62 19
407 The sword adds 10 pounds. 1.3759 0.03812 266 186 60 20
408 She wore that same dress to her last wedding 1.3759 0.03774 266 185 62 19
409 Apparently the black tie really was optional. 1.3759 0.03885 266 188 56 22
410 Definitely going to hold my peace. 1.3759 0.03774 266 185 62 19
411 Well, it started with the paleolithic diet... 1.3759 0.03621 266 181 70 15
412 He travels a lot for work. I give them two invasions. 1.3759 0.03621 266 181 70 15
413 If you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, say, "Yabba Dabba Do!" 1.3755 0.04048 261 188 48 25
414 That's one bouquet I don't care to catch. 1.3750 0.03868 264 186 57 21
415 Wow! A heterosexual wedding. Now that's different. 1.3750 0.03868 264 186 57 21
416 They're sacking Paris for the honeymoon. 1.3750 0.03830 264 185 59 20
417 It's the second time around for both of them, so it's less formal. 1.3750 0.03638 264 180 69 15
418 It's good to see that they have all of the tools for conflict resolution. 1.3750 0.03677 264 181 67 16
419 I hear she’s the hunter/gatherer; he mostly just shops. 1.3750 0.03868 264 186 57 21
420 Did you choose the tilapia or the reindeer for dinner? 1.3750 0.03672 256 174 68 14
421 Should anyone here object to this union, speak now and forever rest in peace 1.3750 0.03905 264 187 55 22
422 Uggs, I knew it." 1.3750 0.03835 256 178 60 18
423 She got tired of dating AngloSaxons. 1.3740 0.03773 262 182 62 18
424 I have always found the institution of marriage to be barbaric. 1.3740 0.03773 262 182 62 18
425 What do you get for someone who has pillaged everything? 1.3740 0.03734 262 181 64 17
426 We hunt and gather here today 1.3740 0.03888 262 185 56 21
427 Someone should explain to them what a Viking Cruise honeymoon actually is. 1.3740 0.03962 262 187 52 23
428 Imagine if they had met at a Redskins game. 1.3740 0.03925 262 186 54 22
429 I thought the 'until severed head or fatal impalement do us part' bit was sweet. 1.3740 0.03999 262 188 50 24
430 One suggestion--don't offer any objections. 1.3740 0.03812 262 183 60 19
431 I knew them long before they moved to Minnesota. 1.3740 0.03925 262 186 54 22
432 If you ask me, Eric's gone way overboard after getting the results of his DNA test. 1.3740 0.03773 262 182 62 18
433 I heard he proposed using Norse code. 1.3740 0.03850 262 184 58 20
434 Global warming brought them together. They were frozen in the same glacier. 1.3740 0.03888 262 185 56 21
435 When she said she was dating the school norse, I think I misunderstood. 1.3740 0.03925 262 186 54 22
436 If you can look past all the pillaging, he’s actually a pretty great catch. 1.3740 0.03491 262 175 76 11
437 That's one bouquet I'm not planning to catch. 1.3740 0.03695 262 180 66 16
438 She knew from the first time they pillaged together. 1.3740 0.03925 262 186 54 22
439 Maybe always a bridesmaid is not so bad after all. 1.3740 0.03655 262 179 68 15
440 No one is looking at your dress. 1.3739 0.04310 230 166 42 22
441 He’s going to read the vows in Norse code. 1.3731 0.03831 260 182 59 19
442 .......... as long as you both might live! 1.3731 0.03752 260 180 63 17
443 He’s known as The Plunder From Down Under. 1.3731 0.03792 260 181 61 18
444 If anyone knows why these two should not be married, you better have a gun. 1.3731 0.04093 260 189 45 26
445 I guess they really did meet on Ancestry! 1.3731 0.03945 260 185 53 22
446 I bet it will be one helluva raw bar. 1.3727 0.04211 220 155 48 17
447 No, not the app. They actually met starting a fire. 1.3725 0.03961 255 181 53 21
448 It's the new black. 1.3723 0.04161 231 164 48 19
449 I thought she said they met on a cruise..." 1.3721 0.03850 258 181 58 19
450 What attracted her to him wasn't the pillaging and plundering, it was that he always tidied up afterwards! 1.3721 0.03889 258 182 56 20
451 She will ! 1.3721 0.04078 258 187 46 25
452 Is that a fanny pack? 1.3721 0.03690 258 177 66 15
453 All I'm saying is, 'knight in shining armor' is a bit of an exaggeration... 1.3721 0.03966 258 184 52 22
454 Always a Norsemaid, never a bride. 1.3721 0.03889 258 182 56 20
455 I'm not looking forward to the lutefisk. 1.3721 0.03731 258 178 64 16
456 At least we've got "something old" checked off the list. 1.3701 0.03598 254 172 70 12
457 And now you may drag the bride away. 1.3701 0.03889 254 179 56 19
458 I like an old fashioned wedding. 1.3696 0.03857 257 181 57 19
459 When she said "vintage" dress, I didn't see this coming! 1.3690 0.04068 252 182 47 23
460 I always cry when they exchange cows 1.3690 0.03990 252 180 51 21
461 Love conquers all. 1.3690 0.03950 252 179 53 20
462 I wore spanks for this? 1.3678 0.04228 242 177 41 24
463 This is nice, but the funerals are really something. 1.3676 0.03937 253 180 53 20
464 My Star Trek wedding was much classier. 1.3665 0.03958 251 179 52 20
465 Here I am, always a bridesmaid, never a Valkyrie! 1.3665 0.03958 251 179 52 20
466 I doubt anyone is going to object to this wedding. 1.3665 0.03835 251 176 58 17
467 I hope they don’t take that section about ‘until death do us part’ too seriously. 1.3665 0.03665 251 172 66 13
468 Does this mean we are going to have another paleo banquet again 1.3665 0.04115 251 183 44 24
469 Today it takes a pillage to raise a child. 1.3665 0.03958 251 179 52 20
470 I now pronounce you Erik the Wed. 1.3662 0.05334 142 102 28 12
471 Do you solemnly swear to take this hrdlghdrgh as your hrdlgfhhtf? 1.3660 0.04190 235 170 44 21
472 Her first three husbands are in Valhalla. Just sayin'.... 1.3659 0.03801 246 171 60 15
473 To be fair to them, 'traditional' is a pretty vague word. 1.3659 0.03757 246 170 62 14
474 How seriously do you think they take the whole "until death do you part" thing? 1.3655 0.03978 249 178 51 20
475 I know they're Wagner fans but this is ridiculous. 1.3655 0.03896 249 176 55 18
476 She's turning over a new Lief. 1.3655 0.03896 249 176 55 18
477 Wish I could find a man who'd give up late capitalist modernity for me. 1.3655 0.03896 249 176 55 18
478 I planned the bachelorette party, booked the caterer, found the venue, and she still chose her sister for the blood sacrifice. 1.3648 0.04035 244 175 49 20
479 He's really not that horrible. 1.3648 0.03639 244 166 67 11
480 OK, so maybe these bridesmaid dresses aren't so bad after all. 1.3644 0.03610 247 168 68 11
481 It won't be long until their first fight. 1.3644 0.03958 247 176 52 19
482 Well they can't win a Superbowl but they sure know how to stage a wedding. 1.3644 0.04041 247 178 48 21
483 Both outfits from one bison hide. Hard to believe. 1.3644 0.03874 247 174 56 17
484 She met him at Ikea" 1.3644 0.03832 247 173 58 16
485 I always said they were a match made in Valhalla. 1.3644 0.03874 247 174 56 17
486 After paying for this wedding, he's going to be "Erik IN the Red." 1.3633 0.03808 245 171 59 15
487 She won't admit it but I'm guessing early middle age. 1.3633 0.03763 245 170 61 14
488 She did say she wanted a traditional wedding. 1.3633 0.04063 245 177 47 21
489 They’re the last couple who didn’t meet online 1.3633 0.04104 245 178 45 22
490 Honestly? I prefer the funerals. 1.3633 0.03979 245 175 51 19
491 Do you ever feel like you're the only one who isn't into ''Game of Thrones"? 1.3633 0.04144 245 179 43 23
492 He just kicked the door down and the rest is history! 1.3633 0.03763 245 170 61 14
493 I introduced them. He was the one who ransacked our home. 1.3633 0.03673 245 168 65 12
494 She sank his ship, he ravaged her village. They were meant for each other. 1.3625 0.03860 240 168 57 15
495 Are you SURE we know them? 1.3625 0.03993 240 171 51 18
496 He had her at “IKEA.” 1.3625 0.04122 240 174 45 21
497 Don't you think she's taking Opera too far? 1.3625 0.04080 240 173 47 20
498 They’re UGGS 1.3625 0.04037 240 172 49 19
499 By the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota... 1.3621 0.04126 243 177 44 22
500 Are you going to the after-raid? 1.3621 0.03871 243 171 56 16
501 I hear they met pillaging. 1.3621 0.03645 243 166 66 11
502 Before we proceed with the vows, I´d like to emphasize this is a CIVIL union" 1.3613 0.03880 238 167 56 15
503 I've got to be at an Avengers themed bris by noon. 1.3613 0.03926 238 168 54 16
504 And to think she was such a Packers fan! 1.3613 0.03971 238 169 52 17
505 She vows to take him for better or Norse. 1.3613 0.03834 238 166 58 14
506 They said it wouldn't last, but here they are renewing their vows a thousand years later. 1.3613 0.03788 238 165 60 13
507 I hear they're sacking Paris for their honeymoon... 1.3613 0.04015 238 170 50 18
508 For their honeymoon, they're sacking Rome. 1.3602 0.04037 236 169 49 18
509 I hope he remembered Der Ring. 1.3602 0.03992 236 168 51 17
510 She caught the goat head at the last wedding... 1.3602 0.04037 236 169 49 18
511 I can't remember whether I requested the chicken, the fish or the free range boar. 1.3602 0.03854 236 165 57 14
512 Yeah, like anyone else is gonna object! 1.3602 0.03992 236 168 51 17
513 She said she was going to turn over a new Leif. 1.3602 0.04037 236 169 49 18
514 They registered at Pillage & Plunder 1.3602 0.04081 236 170 47 19
515 She’s always liked the horny type. 1.3602 0.04081 236 170 47 19
516 I knew the wedding was supposed to be Paleo but assumed that meant the food. 1.3593 0.04097 231 166 47 18
517 This guy's not bad, but he's no Odin. 1.3590 0.03680 234 160 64 10
518 How they met is a real saga. 1.3590 0.03827 234 163 58 13
519 They're from Minnesota 1.3590 0.04193 234 171 42 21
520 Okay, now with THAT GUY dead, does ANYONE ELSE object? 1.3590 0.03968 234 166 52 16
521 I think that I'll forever hold my peace 1.3590 0.03968 234 166 52 16
522 On who would wear the pants, they just skirted the issue. 1.3590 0.04508 195 141 38 16
523 Ana and Bob took their ancestry DNA results a bit too far 1.3590 0.04104 234 169 46 19
524 They've taken a viking to each other. 1.3590 0.03827 234 163 58 13
525 The difference is she WILL get to wear the dress again. 1.3590 0.03968 234 166 52 16
526 These Viking cruises take their weddings very seriously. 1.3581 0.03930 229 161 54 14
527 Wait until you see the buffet. 1.3578 0.04082 232 167 47 18
528 I think it's sweet they've decided neither of them will wear the pants in the family. 1.3578 0.03943 232 164 53 15
529 '....through black plague, pestilence and fiery catapults.....' 1.3578 0.04261 232 171 39 22
530 I tell you, Ruth, it's not true love. She just got carried away. 1.3578 0.03749 232 160 61 11
531 The matching fanny packs are where I draw the line. 1.3578 0.04082 232 167 47 18
532 Did he just say, 'For better or Norse'? 1.3578 0.03798 232 161 59 12
533 I really hope this is the last Game of Thrones-themed wedding I attend. 1.3578 0.03895 232 163 55 14
534 Silly question. Of course this will be in The Times! 1.3578 0.04173 232 169 43 20
535 I hear her last husband was an Anglo-Saxon 1.3578 0.04036 232 166 49 17
536 Did he just skip the part about anyone objecting? 1.3565 0.03964 230 163 52 15
537 Fanny packs are so slimming, don't you think? 1.3565 0.04012 230 164 50 16
538 After the ceremony they're sacking this church. 1.3565 0.04197 230 168 42 20
539 I hope the dinner isn’t Paleo, too!” 1.3565 0.04059 230 165 48 17
540 They're pillaging France on their honeymoon. 1.3565 0.03964 230 163 52 15
541 The food at the reception is paleo, too. 1.3565 0.03964 230 163 52 15
542 I like how they added 'pillage' to their vows. 1.3556 0.03872 225 157 56 12
543 She was a Packers fan before they met. 1.3556 0.04023 225 160 50 15
544 So they call each other, 'Hun' 1.3556 0.04023 225 160 50 15
545 Don't laugh, they could've been Packer fans. 1.3553 0.04175 228 166 43 19
546 History Channel dating app 1.3553 0.03986 228 162 51 15
547 Glacier aside, it was still a long engagement. 1.3553 0.04129 228 165 45 18
548 Long spear, short honeymoon. 1.3553 0.03888 228 160 55 13
549 What a shame about Carl impaling himself in rehearsal. Now you don’t have an escort. 1.3543 0.03944 223 157 53 13
550 They're going pillaging in Britain for their Honeymoon. 1.3540 0.04008 226 161 50 15
551 She told me that all the food for the reception was "locally sourced" 1.3540 0.04057 226 162 48 16
552 I heard his family is a bunch of barbarians. 1.3540 0.03909 226 159 54 13
553 I'm afraid there will be some putting asunder." 1.3540 0.03959 226 160 52 14
554 I'm more familiar with Viking funerals. 1.3540 0.03959 226 160 52 14
555 It was so romantic; he proposed in the glow of a burning village. 1.3540 0.04200 226 165 42 19
556 It's so rare to have a perfect spring day like this here in Minnesota. 1.3535 0.04147 215 154 46 15
557 He's Reform. 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
558 A marriage made in Valhalla. 1.3532 0.04055 218 155 49 14
559 I never thought I'd look back fondly on that zip-line wedding in Costa Rica. 1.3532 0.04107 218 156 47 15
560 If you tell me one more time that Vikings did not have horns on their helmets, I'll scream! 1.3529 0.04266 221 162 40 19
561 She was hoping for a big church wedding, but then he went and leveled the church. 1.3529 0.04017 221 157 50 14
562 I’m okay with the ‘for better’ part, but I don’t even want to think about ‘for worse.’ 1.3527 0.04030 224 160 49 15
563 The even registered at Nordstrom 1.3527 0.04224 224 164 41 19
564 They dated for ages! 1.3527 0.04224 224 164 41 19
565 The reception is paleo. 1.3527 0.04030 224 160 49 15
566 When I went out with him, he was pretty horny too. 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
567 We're hoping the marriage lasts, and the renunciation of all technology is just a phase. 1.3519 0.04183 216 156 44 16
568 What time do we storm the reception? 1.3514 0.03847 222 155 56 11
569 Apparently she liked the way he pillages. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
570 I don't know, but remember, they're both from Minnesota. 1.3514 0.03951 222 157 52 13
571 I love how she challenges gender norms by being the one with the sword. 1.3514 0.03793 222 154 58 10
572 I don't mean to question his commitment to her, but Lars once threw a spear at me too. 1.3514 0.04002 222 158 50 14
573 That other groomsman really should've held his peace. 1.3514 0.04103 222 160 46 16
574 Notice she's not wearing white? 1.3514 0.04002 222 158 50 14
575 I wondered why they registered at IKEA. 1.3514 0.04201 222 162 42 18
576 His dad owns a cruise line. 1.3514 0.03793 222 154 58 10
577 It's not over till the fat lady sings. 1.3500 0.04275 220 162 39 19
578 They’re going on a cruise, just as soon as they get 40 oarsmen lined up” 1.3500 0.04076 220 158 47 15
579 I hear the reception is strictly paleo. 1.3500 0.03920 220 155 53 12
580 I never noticed before, but Hjalmar has really tiny hands. 1.3500 0.04025 220 157 49 14
581 And the damn dinner is going to be paleo too. 1.3500 0.04177 220 160 43 17
582 They told their vegan friends not to bother coming to the reception. 1.3486 0.04201 218 159 42 17
583 It's about time they tied the knot, they've been together for eons.” 1.3486 0.03833 218 152 56 10
584 No, the weirdest part is that they're Packer fans. 1.3486 0.04151 218 158 44 16
585 I’m not telling them that you forgot the rings. 1.3486 0.04048 218 156 48 14
586 'Til death do us part' suddenly sounds ominous. 1.3474 0.04110 213 153 46 14
587 It’s refreshing to see a couple who aren’t afraid of the inevitable conflicts. 1.3472 0.04123 216 156 45 15
588 For their honeymoon they're going to North America. 1.3472 0.04071 216 155 47 14
589 I’m afraid this relationship isn’t going to work....neither one wants to wear the pants. 1.3472 0.04277 216 159 39 18
590 If you think this is elaborate, you should see their funerals. 1.3472 0.04277 216 159 39 18
591 The nose ring belonged to her grandmother. 1.3472 0.04227 216 158 41 17
592 Hopefully the reception has fewer blood sacrifices than the rehearsal dinner. 1.3472 0.04227 216 158 41 17
593 I heard they fight a lot. 1.3472 0.04123 216 156 45 15
594 Viking burials are a blast too 1.3472 0.04018 216 154 49 13
595 They met at my son's bar mitzvah. 1.3472 0.04018 216 154 49 13
596 She recently found out that she was 1% Viking on ancestry.com... 1.3472 0.04071 216 155 47 14
597 They’ll make a beautiful horde 1.3472 0.03909 216 152 53 11
598 They haven’t been themselves since Comic Con 1.3472 0.04123 216 156 45 15
599 They're Orthodox. 1.3472 0.04461 193 141 37 15
600 Actually they didn't meet on the internet. 1.3458 0.04148 214 155 44 15
601 Can you believe he voted for Trump? 1.3458 0.04404 214 160 34 20
602 They've been together for, like, a thousand years. 1.3452 0.04274 197 142 42 13
603 Did he just say 'rape and pillage'?" 1.3451 0.05478 142 107 21 14
604 Viking themes are so last year. Aztec would have been just right. Well, what can you expect? They’re from Minnesota. 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
605 If anyone dare show cause why this couple cannot be lawfully joined together in matrimony, let them speak and, and run like hell. 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
606 Finally a bride's maid gig with comfortable shoes! 1.3443 0.04225 212 155 41 16
607 I guess no one wears the pants in this family. 1.3443 0.03719 212 146 59 7
608 We'll it's better than a Viking funeral... 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
609 When he finds out she's turning vegetarian. fur's gonna fly. 1.3443 0.03895 212 149 53 10
610 Is this your first paleo wedding? 1.3443 0.04118 212 153 45 14
611 The Valkyries are planning a big reception. 1.3443 0.04064 212 152 47 13
612 I hope they don't take the "till death do us part" thing too seriously. 1.3443 0.04064 212 152 47 13
613 Don’t tell Bridezilla, but I’m wearing underwear. 1.3429 0.04251 210 154 40 16
614 We had to buy these dresses----and SHE shows up in buckskins?? 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
615 I doubt anyone will object. 1.3429 0.04142 210 152 44 14
616 Can you count her sword as something borrowed, if she took it off a dead body? 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
617 I never really noticed that it was "For better, for Norse". 1.3429 0.04511 210 159 30 21
618 She changed him, he’s become such a better listener. 1.3429 0.04304 210 155 38 17
619 Weary and disgruntled, we are gathered here today... 1.3429 0.04142 210 152 44 14
620 I'm surprised as anyone. She's a pillager, he's more of a plunderer. 1.3429 0.04251 210 154 40 16
621 I'm going to pass on catching the "bouquet" 1.3429 0.03974 210 149 50 11
622 They wanted to get married after Act 1 because he kills her in Act 2. 1.3429 0.04251 210 154 40 16
623 You try telling her that the sword toss isn’t going to be a big hit. 1.3429 0.04304 210 155 38 17
624 For their honeymoon, they’re going to pillage The Hamptons. 1.3429 0.03974 210 149 50 11
625 All this time I thought she was an Packers fan 1.3429 0.04087 210 151 46 13
626 I humbly suggest that everyone simply opt to hold their peace. 1.3429 0.04087 210 151 46 13
627 So you're saying "ring bear" wasn't a typo? 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
628 Do you think something from Ikea would be too on the nose? 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
629 You should see Bob's man cave. 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
630 They are way too into Game of Thrones. 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
631 You may now smash your bride over the head and drag her to your tent. 1.3413 0.04384 208 155 35 18
632 My bet is that death will do them part pretty darn soon. 1.3413 0.04167 208 151 43 14
633 She said, “For better or Norse.” 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
634 I still don’t think they’re right for each other. 1.3413 0.04222 208 152 41 15
635 I would ask at this time if anyone present objects, but it would appear that all the objectors are no longer with us. 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
636 She eviscerated a goat on their first date, and he's been smitten ever since. 1.3413 0.04556 167 120 37 10
637 Finally! They’ve been dating for ever. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
638 You may now drag the bride, by her hair, to the wedding suite. 1.3398 0.04358 206 153 36 17
639 Are they really rowing to Scotland for their honeymoon? 1.3398 0.04078 206 148 46 12
640 I'll give it three raids, tops 1.3398 0.04019 206 147 48 11
641 The third groomsman is in Valhalla - after unsuccessfully challenging the groom for the bride. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
642 I, Hallgerd The Nearsighted, take you Olaf The Ugly..." 1.3398 0.04412 206 154 34 18
643 ...to hunt and to gather, in sickness and in health... 1.3398 0.04078 206 148 46 12
644 They were on NordicTracks when they first met. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
645 What do you mean obey" 1.3398 0.04248 206 151 40 15
646 Do you vow to slaughter your enemies, with no mercy, in sickness and in health? 1.3383 0.04261 201 147 40 14
647 Yes, I tied the cans on...but I don't think they'll have the intended effect behind the boat. 1.3382 0.04160 204 148 43 13
648 I heard it was love at first fight. 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
649 If so, please respond by saying ‘you betcha.’ 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
650 In their world it takes a pillage to raise a child..... 1.3382 0.04274 204 150 39 15
651 I know a reason they shouldn't be wed, but I'm not going to risk an injury. 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
652 She told me he was almost always horny, but I didn't realize she meant it this way 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
653 It's quite a saga. 1.3382 0.04160 204 148 43 13
654 I think this one is forever. Between them, they killed all of each other's former love interests, and I don't see that passion letting up. 1.3373 0.04800 166 123 30 13
655 He got her at a raid. 1.3373 0.04566 166 120 36 10
656 When I wore calfskin on my wedding day, it meant something. 1.3367 0.04106 199 143 45 11
657 They met at Harvard Law School 1.3367 0.04684 199 153 25 21
658 I still say she could have plundered a better man. 1.3354 0.04658 161 117 34 10
659 I think the ministers glasses make him look ridiculous. 1.3351 0.04533 191 143 32 16
660 It will never work. He's a Viking and she is a Packer. 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
661 When they said it was a destination wedding, I thought, 'Minnesota?' 1.3333 0.04356 198 147 36 15
662 The prenup gives her half of whatever he pillages and plunders. 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
663 I can't believe she's carrying on her wedding day. 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
664 Well here's another dress I will never wear again. 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
665 She made him wear the helmet to cover his bald spot. 1.3333 0.04553 186 139 32 15
666 After we plunder the reception line, let's pillage the buffet. 1.3333 0.04403 195 145 35 15
667 He had her at 'lusty wench'" 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
668 Always the wenchmaid never the wench. 1.3333 0.04092 195 140 45 10
669 They met at a football game in Minnesota." 1.3333 0.04092 195 140 45 10
670 Tinder? No, they met on Tundra. 1.3333 0.04342 195 144 37 14
671 Are you wearing bear skin? I thought only the mother of the bride could wear bear skin. 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
672 The third groomsman is conquering the reception venue. 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
673 I’ve heard he’s not much with the spear, if you know what I mean. 1.3333 0.04051 198 142 46 10
674 And we had to buy dresses. 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
675 Only a Green Bay Packers fan would object to this union. 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
676 He went to Jårøjd. 1.3333 0.03987 198 141 48 9
677 Two Norsemen of the apocalypse. 1.3333 0.04472 198 149 32 17
678 Me? No, I’m taken. I hope YOU catch the sword this time! 1.3333 0.04281 195 143 39 13
679 They wanted to get married in Norway, but then decided they could have a traditional wedding right here in Minnesota. 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
680 My husband is also a bit of weekend warrior. 1.3333 0.03856 198 139 52 7
681 This is why I steer clear of those genealogy websites! 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
682 The third groomsman left early to go discover America. 1.3333 0.04356 198 147 36 15
683 I can’t believe I dated him in high school. 1.3333 0.04375 189 139 37 13
684 Who wears fanny-pack to a wedding? 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
685 This is nothing, wait till they release the dragons. 1.3316 0.04370 193 143 36 14
686 This is my first Orthodox Hun wedding. 1.3316 0.04370 193 143 36 14
687 You may drag the bride. 1.3316 0.04370 193 143 36 14
688 I heard she had to make sacrifices. 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
689 They really are cut from the same loincloth. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
690 Minnesota football fans sometimes take it too far. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
691 Always a brudepike, never a skaldmaer 1.3316 0.04432 193 144 34 15
692 They agreed that nobody would wear the pants in their family. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
693 She's holding their prenup. 1.3316 0.03914 193 136 50 7
694 I'm only here for the grog. 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
695 Hmm... 'Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women' don't seem like wedding vows to me, but maybe I'm old-fashioned. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
696 In my opinion, 5 goats was too high a price, although she did agree to throw in the sword. 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
697 Well, they say love conquers all. 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
698 I told that other groomsman NOT to object! 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
699 I so admire them for living off the grid. 1.3316 0.03914 193 136 50 7
700 I think they've taken the Paleo Diet a little too far. 1.3316 0.04291 190 139 39 12
701 They're really into the Make Marriage Great Again movement. 1.3313 0.04527 163 118 36 9
702 Well it’s a step up...the last guy was a real Neanderthal 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
703 Do you, Sigurðr the Fearless, take Freya Gunhilda Roðrhurthrindiorðrgregunthalðr to be your lawfully wedded... what do you guys call it again? 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
704 I hear the reception is at all of our homes. 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
705 I hear he's taking her on a Viking cruise for their honeymoon. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
706 Always a bridesmaid, never a battle-axe. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
707 But do nomads ever really settle down?" 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
708 I guess fur is back in. 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
709 It won't last. She's paleo but he's actually vegan. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
710 'I hope their marriage can endure season seven.' 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
711 Yeah, this is pretty lame – but his funeral should be worth seeing! 1.3298 0.04399 191 142 35 14
712 Expectations are a little lower when it's a second marriage. 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
713 Do you take this sea roving, plundering, rapist pirate to be your lawful wedded husband “ 1.3298 0.04461 191 143 33 15
714 Did you know that they met on the Plundr app? 1.3298 0.04336 191 141 37 13
715 I’m starting to regret the time machine. 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
716 You think this is something, you should have seen her grandfather's funeral! 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
717 He's upgrading. His last wife was a battle axe. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
718 They never should have done those DNA tests. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
719 I told her, "he's not that bad, it's not like he has horns." And now this. 1.3297 0.04159 185 133 43 9
720 Can you believe it? She’s only been divorced from Conan for six months” 1.3294 0.04703 170 127 30 13
721 It's not just viking funerals anymore. My nephew's having a viking Bar Mitzvah next month. 1.3280 0.04491 189 142 32 15
722 I used to date Thor, but he made me tho thor I could barely pith. 1.3280 0.04735 189 146 24 19
723 You think this is hot? You should see their funerals. 1.3280 0.04491 189 142 32 15
724 He's a viking and she's a barbarian, but I think they'll make it work. 1.3280 0.04233 189 138 40 11
725 I always thought she meant he was a big football fan 1.3280 0.04491 189 142 32 15
726 You didn't get the 'it's a themed wedding' email either? 1.3280 0.04428 189 141 34 14
727 I understand they've been dating since 1066. 1.3280 0.04364 189 140 36 13
728 If anyone has objections, speak your last words now or forever hold your peace. 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
729 She hasn't told him yet that she wants to move to Green Bay. 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
730 Honeymoon's on Viking Cruises 1.3280 0.04553 189 143 30 16
731 You get the sword this time. 1.3280 0.04098 189 136 44 9
732 I'm fine with themed weddings but the Viking appliances on the registry was a bit overboard 1.3280 0.04233 189 138 40 11
733 I thought she said she took a LIKING to him. 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
734 Frankly, I find the funerals much more exciting. 1.3280 0.04491 189 142 32 15
735 He needs to speed it up. We only have the costumes until 5 1.3280 0.04428 189 141 34 14
736 It's a match made in heathen. 1.3280 0.04233 189 138 40 11
737 They met on a blind pillage. 1.3280 0.04233 189 138 40 11
738 I hear their fights are epic. 1.3280 0.04028 189 135 46 8
739 We’ll skip the ‘speak now’ portion of the ceremony 1.3280 0.04364 189 140 36 13
740 Not the kind of storybook wedding I'd envisioned. 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
741 Has anyone seen the Ring Bear? 1.3280 0.04233 189 138 40 11
742 Do you think we're overdressed? 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
743 She says they’re a match made in Valhalla, but he’s just horny. 1.3280 0.04491 189 142 32 15
744 Well I suppose that explains the longship that's been moored at the marina since Tuesday. 1.3280 0.03958 189 134 48 7
745 Now I know why she said he is so horny. 1.3280 0.04098 189 136 44 9
746 It’s a match made in Valhalla. 1.3274 0.04586 168 124 33 11
747 I say it lasts until the next invasion. 1.3274 0.04427 168 122 37 9
748 I love the part where they exchange edged weapons. 1.3262 0.04052 187 134 45 8
749 The sexism of hideous wear-one-time bridesmaid dresses, that’s what’s barbarian. 1.3262 0.04191 187 136 41 10
750 Do you think they'll call each other Hun? 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
751 I offered to read their vows but they said they would be runed. 1.3262 0.04191 187 136 41 10
752 Speak Norse or forever hold your peace. 1.3262 0.04259 187 137 39 11
753 They're giving each other practical gifts. He's paying off her student loans, and she's made a down payment on a boat for his funeral. 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
754 Theme or no theme, it’s still a Jewish wedding. He agreed to the Huppa. 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
755 They met when the glacier melted 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
756 She said she wanted an old-fashioned wedding. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
757 They met at IKEA... 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
758 I thought they said 'HIKING' outfits! 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
759 Do you think she'll change her last name to "the Red"? 1.3262 0.04052 187 134 45 8
760 One of the groomsmen blabbed about dating her. 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
761 She's only marrying him for his loot. 1.3262 0.04392 187 139 35 13
762 This is my first same-sect wedding. 1.3262 0.04521 187 141 31 15
763 In this case it’s “for better, for Norse” 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
764 In about five years, those two will be ancient history. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
765 Dearly behemoth... 1.3262 0.04647 187 143 27 17
766 Is there anyone left to contest this union? 1.3258 0.04751 178 136 26 16
767 Hey...wait a minute...isn't being twins a "reason these two may not be joined in holy matrimony?" 1.3256 0.04583 172 128 32 12
768 It was the only way he'd agree to a Viking cruise for the honeymoon. 1.3253 0.04619 166 123 32 11
769 I don't mind a destination wedding, but I think time travel is too much to ask. 1.3247 0.04777 154 114 30 10
770 I heard he had a “big spear” but this isn’t what I imagined. 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
771 My cousin Beatrice said, "Oh no, you don't need to bring a shield". Well, guess who is conveniently not here. 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
772 I'm just hoping they have utensils at the reception. 1.3243 0.04076 185 133 44 8
773 Frankly, I think they're taking taking this genetic heritage stuff way too seriously..... 1.3243 0.04147 185 134 42 9
774 They were unfrozen on different continents, but matched on "actualvikingsonly.com". 1.3243 0.04147 185 134 42 9
775 Actually the sword is borrowed. I have no idea what's blue. 1.3243 0.04147 185 134 42 9
776 I saw what they did to the other groomsman. 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
777 She advertised for a horny old man. 1.3243 0.04487 185 139 32 14
778 I see that you're Bjorn again." 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
779 The reception's got five different types of mead! 1.3243 0.04147 185 134 42 9
780 Do I have time to change my shoes before we storm the castle? 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
781 When she tosses the sword, I am outta here. 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
782 When she told me her fiancé was horny, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
783 They're both Visigoths, but they call each other 'Hun.' 1.3243 0.04286 185 136 38 11
784 How embarrassing — I bought her a djöfull hamar, but I see she already has one. 1.3243 0.04286 185 136 38 11
785 The matching coin purses really bring it all together. 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
786 I brought my own cutlery for the reception. 1.3243 0.04487 185 139 32 14
787 It’s his second pillage, her first. 1.3243 0.04217 185 135 40 10
788 He doesn't have any friends. They found these two guys selling popcorn in the theater. 1.3243 0.04217 185 135 40 10
789 If she tosses the sword, you can have it. 1.3243 0.03929 185 131 48 6
790 His pillaging days are over. 1.3243 0.04552 185 140 30 15
791 She stepped on his spear at yoga and the rest is history. 1.3232 0.04811 164 124 27 13
792 He's bigger than he looks in the comic strip. 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
793 Why give a nice present? Ninety percent of receptions get pillaged in the first hour. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
794 You gotta be careful when she tosses her sword. 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
795 I understand Minnesota picked up his option. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
796 Sorry you missed the bachelorette party. We ended up invading England. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
797 Wait, we don’t get to put them in a boat and light it on fire? 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
798 No one commits to a diet like Brittany and Todd! 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
799 He could be more refined, but he has loads of plunder. 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
800 Dearly beloved, we are hunted/gathered here today... 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
801 Do you think the buffet will be kosher? 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
802 Which one has to kill the goat? 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
803 So that's what black tie optional means 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
804 Be careful during the Hora. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
805 The "until death do you part" may come a little sooner than it usually does. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
806 Why are bridesmaid's dresses always so hideous? 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
807 I think we're overdressed. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
808 If you ask me, they're both compensating for something. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
809 He converted. 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
810 You may now plunder the church. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
811 She took a liking to the Viking. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
812 You're not losing a daughter you're gaining a Hun 1.3224 0.04649 183 140 27 16
813 I give it three raids. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
814 Pillager? He hardly knows her! 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
815 Well at least it's not a shotgun wedding. 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
816 These Minnesota weddings are getting out of hand. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
817 If anyone has any objections to marriage, please forever hold your peace.” 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
818 I can't wait until they cut the cake. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
819 I heard there'll be a paleo smorgasbord at the reception. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
820 You should see the cave she'll be living in. 1.3224 0.04584 183 139 29 15
821 They're definitely a Viking River Cruise honeymoon. 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
822 You throw the offal and I'll tie the flagons to the barge. 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
823 They needed a way to justify serving pickled fish at the reception. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
824 He better guard his loot, she’s from the wrong side of the fjord. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
825 I bet they are registered at IKEA 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
826 If there’s anyone who objects to this marriage, run! 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
827 For their honeymoon they plan to sack Shelter Island. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
828 They're taking this Viking heritage thing too far - it was only three percent! 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
829 as a couple they are very combatable 1.3224 0.04584 183 139 29 15
830 She’s still not letting him buy the boat. 1.3224 0.04584 183 139 29 15
831 You weren’t kidding about them being old fashioned 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
832 She said it makes “‘Til death do us part,” seem more achievable. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
833 I heard they booked a Viking cruise for their honeymoon. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
834 His ex was a real battle-axe. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
835 I'm glad they finally caved in! 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
836 Does “Arrrgh” mean “I do “ ? 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
837 This is nothing! Wait 'til you see the dinner menu! 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
838 I give it six months or at best till Gotterdammerung. 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
839 I just wonder why they waited so long. 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
840 It's not a real Game of Thrones themed wedding unless we're all murdered afterwards 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
841 Do you promise to love and cherish until it's time to send your flaming corpse into sea... 1.3224 0.04584 183 139 29 15
842 It's more a hammer throw than a bouquet toss. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
843 I always bawl at the 'blood oath' part. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
844 This will set marriage back a thousand years 1.3224 0.03950 183 130 47 6
845 I hope the Nibelung don’t expect their ring back. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
846 I lost three fingers trying to catch the sword at her last wedding. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
847 That’s it! I’m giving this longship single’s cruise a shot! 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
848 I hear her first husband was a real barbarian. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
849 Apparently, they're old school - very old school. 1.3224 0.04815 152 113 29 10
850 I hereby pronounce you Goth and Visigoth, you may now smash your mouths together. 1.3222 0.04290 180 132 38 10
851 I love these genderfluid weddings where no one will wear the pants in the family. 1.3218 0.04610 174 131 30 13
852 They met in Minnesota. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
853 She should've run him through while she had a chance. 1.3204 0.04616 181 138 28 15
854 They said it was love at first pillage. 1.3204 0.03973 181 129 46 6
855 I'm here for the ale and mead. 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
856 And do you, Brunhilde the Conqueror, take this man, Lars the Impaler, to live, love, loot and pillage with 'til the fires of Valhalla bear you away? 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
857 At least it isn't a shotgun wedding 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
858 I hear they're going to pillage Saxony for their honeymoon. 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
859 Viking, I thought you said a vegan wedding. 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
860 Turns our Hagar really wasn't all that horrible. 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
861 Their weddings are fun, but their funerals are brutal. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
862 I thought you said it was a Viking Cruise wedding? 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
863 And do you, Siglinde, promise to cleave unto Thorgod, and I mean that in the best possible way. 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
864 Did you see the size of that rock?!?! 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
865 Their honeymoon? On a Viking cruise, of course. 1.3204 0.04412 181 135 34 12
866 Neanderthal . . .on his mother's side. 1.3204 0.04049 181 130 44 7
867 Good thing she let us pick our own bridesmaid dresses 1.3204 0.04124 181 131 42 8
868 I couldn't find severed heads, so i got us bouquets. 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
869 Oh yes, they DO take the 'til death do us part' very seriously. 1.3204 0.04049 181 130 44 7
870 The reception will include a Viking raid on the coast of Brittany. 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
871 And then he says I yabba-dabba-do. 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
872 Do you take each other to have and to hold, to maim and slaughter, in sickness and in famine, until death do everyone depart?" 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
873 We all know she wears the horns in this relationship. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
874 And I promise to love, honour, obey and beat off all contenders with sword and club. 1.3182 0.04565 176 133 30 13
875 I'm not looking forward to the reception. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
876 What airline did you say lost their luggage? 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
877 I’ve heard they fight all the time. 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
878 I wonder if she's told him she's originally from Green Bay. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
879 She tells me they're honeymooning in Minnesota. 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
880 The reception pillage is always quite nice. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
881 They met on one of those Viking Ocean cruises. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
882 Count me out when she throws what is obviously not the bouquet. 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
883 Good luck pronouncing them Tryggvi and Cnut. 1.3161 0.04141 174 126 41 7
884 I wish their registry had been more specific than "English Countryside" 1.3161 0.04375 174 129 35 10
885 Why are all the good ones taken. 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
886 Just wait. I GUARANTEE he'll be here shortly shouting, 'Elaine!!' 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
887 Honeymooning on a Viking Cruise, what else? 1.3161 0.04220 174 127 39 8
888 Do you, Thor, promise to give up rape and pillage and promise to barbeque and do dishes? 1.3161 0.04669 174 133 27 14
889 When do they stomp on the glass? 1.3161 0.04597 174 132 29 13
890 I hear they're spending their honeymoon on a Viking cruise 1.3155 0.04712 168 128 27 13
891 Plunderful Wedding. 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
892 They met while pillaging. 1.3140 0.04084 172 124 42 6
893 If anyone knows any reason these two should not be joined in matrimony, unsheathe your weapon, let cry a blood-curdling scream and charge full-speed towards the podium, or forever hold your peace. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
894 I can't wait for the cake cutting. 1.3140 0.04084 172 124 42 6
895 For their honeymoon, they're going to pillage a small town in Hawaii. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
896 They'll be pillaging this fall near New Brunswick." 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
897 I swear she said "I love biking". 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
898 So, I guess he's not so horrible after all. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
899 They did that ancestry thing 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
900 This is going to be one epic wedding. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
901 I hear she’s already been pillaged. 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
902 Stand back when he stomps on the wine glass. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
903 They found out through 23andMe that he’s 51% Scandinavian and she’s 75% cosplay. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
904 And it’s an exact replica of the Kushner’s huppah 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
905 I never thought she would find the right man. 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
906 Her tunic is stunning. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
907 She warned Reginald not to insist he was the best man... 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
908 They're really taking the battle of the sexes seriously. 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
909 I didn't realize Jane was Vikish 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
910 One thing for sure, she's definitely not marrying a Renaissance man. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
911 They did say that it was black tie 'optional.' 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
912 I know they're excited about their honeymoon, but I think they misunderstand what really happens on a Viking River Cruise. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
913 No heels, great idea. No underwear, bad idea. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
914 That summer in Norway really made an impact. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
915 She's already giving him hun-do lists. 1.3121 0.04517 141 102 34 5
916 This is so wrong, she is supposed to have the spear. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
917 I guess animal skins don't come in white. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
918 Notice the Norse trollop is not wearing white. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
919 I can't believe she didn't understand which way to swipe on Tinder. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
920 I think they'll be disappointed by their Viking Cruise honeymoon. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
921 That’s just great. These bridesmaid dresses were crazy expensive, and she gets away with showing up in the same animal skin tunic she wore at her first wedding. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
922 What happens in Valhalla stays in Valhalla. 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
923 I hear the post wedding dinner is going to be a smorgasbord. 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
924 Did you know she was left handed? 1.3118 0.04588 170 129 29 12
925 I, too, was surprised Vera Wang does bear skin. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
926 Theme weddings are even worse than Destination weddings 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
927 Longest dating couple ever. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
928 The bouquet toss is gonna be a doozy. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
929 Die hard Minnesota Vikings fans 1.3118 0.04588 170 129 29 12
930 Even Ragnar can't pull off a man purse. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
931 A real Viking wouldn’t wear horns. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
932 Their vows just seem so arcane. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
933 This is the third theme wedding I have been in this year! 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
934 You think this is embarrassing? Try being a JETS fan. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
935 How long until death does them part? 1.3118 0.04588 170 129 29 12
936 I’m her sis, and though you may not believe this, he’s a catch. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
937 They met in a Paleo cooking class. 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
938 What do you think of these time traveler destination weddings? 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
939 They met on a longship cruise. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
940 Well, that’s what happens when you tell Alexa to order “striking” wedding clothes. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
941 There was a mixup at the baggage carousel 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
942 They're gonna kill on the dance floor. 1.3118 0.04663 170 130 27 13
943 It all started on a paleo diet dating site 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
944 I'm glad she picked Game of Thrones for the theme, she was considering Naked and Afraid. 1.3114 0.04722 167 128 26 13
945 She had us spend hundreds of dollars on these dresses and she wore that? 1.3114 0.04406 167 124 34 9
946 I won't cry at this wedding, I just hope they don't kill each other. 1.3095 0.04621 168 128 28 12
947 Did she just vow 'For Better or Norse'? 1.3095 0.04543 168 127 30 11
948 If anyone knows why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, speak now but keep in mind: her sword and his spear were sharpened moments before this ceremony. 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
949 These 23 and Me-inspired weddings are getting out of hand. 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
950 Well . . . she finally caved! 1.3095 0.04543 168 127 30 11
951 I thought she said he was striking, not Viking. 1.3095 0.04218 168 123 38 7
952 It has been my experience these blood weddings don't last. 1.3095 0.04697 168 129 26 13
953 I plan to repurpose this dress as mulch.” 1.3095 0.04847 168 131 22 15
954 Can you believe I almost wore the same outfit as the bride? 1.3095 0.04621 168 128 28 12
955 Did he say "broadsword" or "broad's sword"? 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
956 I thought she was marrying the one with the hammer. 1.3095 0.04132 168 122 40 6
957 They've written their own battle cries. 1.3091 0.04518 165 124 31 10
958 See Marge, Something good can come from climate change. 1.3087 0.04847 149 113 26 10
959 Well, they seem prepared for anyone who can't hold their peace. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
960 They’ve decided to go on a Viking Cruise for their honeymoon. 1.3072 0.04654 166 127 27 12
961 The funerals are more exciting. 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
962 Which bridesmaid will catch the sword? 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
963 I never thought she'd fall in love with a corporate raider! 1.3072 0.04157 166 121 39 6
964 At my wedding Ralph was a Klingon and I was a Vulcan. 1.3072 0.04157 166 121 39 6
965 All I know is that she met him on Tinder and told me he was horny 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
966 This is the third time she's forsaken all others. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
967 They're invading England right after the ceremony 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
968 What's with the purse? 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
969 You don't think it's Stockholm syndrome? 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
970 When she texted me about the ring and the white Norse I thought it was a typo. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
971 They are hardcore Vikings fans, that's why. 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
972 This is the second marriage for each of them. They know what to expect. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
973 I heard it's an open mead bar. 1.3072 0.04654 166 127 27 12
974 It’s stunning. She’s not registered at Amazon. 1.3072 0.04575 166 126 29 11
975 Cummerbunds AND vests on the groomsmen? Tacky... 1.3072 0.04732 166 128 25 13
976 I wonder what will happen to his 'man cave' now that they are married." 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
977 This was a long time coming. 1.3072 0.04157 166 121 39 6
978 I think they have a lot in common! 1.3072 0.04754 153 116 27 10
979 She looks fat in that bearskin. 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
980 I'm not really into cosplay, but he did get her a Viking range. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
981 I won’t be running to catch her bouquet 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
982 At least SHE can wear it again! 1.3049 0.03999 164 118 42 4
983 I got them a stove. 1.3049 0.04845 164 128 22 14
984 I can't wait to see the bride slice the cake with her sword. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
985 I hate these time travel destination weddings. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
986 They both smiled when he said "till death do us part". 1.3049 0.04767 164 127 24 13
987 I hear that after this they're going pillaging in Hawaii. 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
988 The Bride insisted we had to wear these ridiculous clothes. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
989 I'm not staying for the reception. You? 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
990 They hold the record for "longest engagement ever". 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
991 Not sure having the wedding on a Viking River Cruise was a good idea. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
992 You should have seen them before marriage counseling! 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
993 I know Viking Funerals get all the fanfare, but this is lovely, too. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
994 I'm so glad she talked him out of Star Wars garb. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
995 And do you promise to love, honor and obey until one of you is cremated on a burning ship? 1.3049 0.04845 164 128 22 14
996 Do you promise to rape, pillage and plunder together as long as you shall live? 1.3049 0.04767 164 127 24 13
997 and now you enter the Game of Marriage 1.3049 0.04688 164 126 26 12
998 Theme wedding? or Met Gala wannabes? 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
999 He needs a green card. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1000 It's about time, they have been dating for centuries. 1.3049 0.04688 164 126 26 12
1001 I think Viking Cruises has taken it a bit too far. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1002 They're sacking England for the honeymoon. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1003 I think I'm going to skip the bouquet toss. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
1004 I think they went too far with the paleo diet. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1005 I hope she doesn't regret converting. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1006 She's born again, he's going to Valhalla. 1.3043 0.04749 161 124 25 12
1007 I now pronounce you very strange. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1008 These destination weddings are getting out of hand. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1009 Do you know if Hagar has a brother? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1010 Is this your first Norwegian wedding? 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1011 Check out the size of that rock on her finger! 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1012 Word is all the mead you can drink at the reception. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1013 She settled. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1014 You may now toot his horns. 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1015 Oh sure, they get to wear comfortable clothes. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1016 Don't you just love an old-fashioned wedding? 1.3007 0.04258 153 112 36 5
1017 “For their honeymoon they’re invading Europe.” 1.2994 0.04736 157 121 25 11
1018 Instead of a limo, they rented a yak. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1019 He raided Jared. 1.2994 0.04905 157 123 21 13
1020 She really holds the sword in their relationship 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1021 Is that Fred or Barney? 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1022 So romantic, getting married at half-time. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1023 Finally...they've been engaged for 1100 years. 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1024 So when did "something sharp" replace old, new, borrowed and blue? 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1025 On their first date she asked him, "What's in YOUR wallet; and he said, "A condom." She decided that qualified him as a feminist, and she proposed. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1026 Can you believe she said "yes to the dress" ? 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1027 They are honeymooning in Stonehenge. 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
1028 Her wedding dress still looks better than what we are wearing. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1029 On the bright side, Astrid's Ikea gown only cost $14.95 and it will still fit in 20 years. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1030 After the fat lady sang, I thought, '"Really, there's more?" 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1031 I can't believe I got dragged into this. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1032 Do you take this raper and pillager to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1033 What Thor has joined together, let no Norseman put asunder. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1034 Is that a Vera Wang? 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1035 They met at Walmart. 1.2994 0.04905 157 123 21 13
1036 You're sure this is the right wedding? 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1037 Themed weddings are soooo 1000 years ago. 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1038 Well, Love is a Battlefield. 1.2994 0.04736 157 121 25 11
1039 It took ages and ages for them to find each other. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1040 Their honeymoon cruise includes a raiding party. 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1041 They agreed that nobody will wear the pants in their relationship. 1.2994 0.04736 157 121 25 11
1042 Turning my dress into a rug. You? 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1043 That hat makes him look horny. 1.2994 0.04821 157 122 23 12
1044 She's no Rhine maiden, I can tell you that for sure. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1045 I've never seen a Viking chuppah. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1046 Do you promise to rape, pillage and slay? 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1047 “They met at work. He is the Commissioner for the Department of Housing and Urban Development” 1.2994 0.04905 157 123 21 13
1048 At least she has the decency not to wear white. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1049 This is a good break from the last three renaissance weddings I've been to. 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1050 Can't wait 'til they break the glass. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1051 You thinking what I'm thinking? How is he going to get the ring on her left hand? 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1052 They’re not wearing underwear. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1053 I can never remember longship reception etiquette. Do bridesmaids row on the left or right? 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1054 I always cry when they lock horns. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1055 If he doesn't hold her, she'll halve him. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1056 The prenup is brutal. 1.2968 0.04212 155 114 36 5
1057 He met her on a trip to England.... 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1058 I give it five winters, tops. 1.2968 0.04212 155 114 36 5
1059 Quick, the nose ring. 1.2968 0.04008 155 112 40 3
1060 Not only the good ones are gone. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1061 Stacy is keeping her maiden name, I mean she's not in the stone ages... 1.2968 0.04111 155 113 38 4
1062 Oh, she married a Norse, not a nurse! 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1063 They've taken this "23 & me" thing a bit too far,don't you think? 1.2968 0.04772 155 120 24 11
1064 I hate to be the one to say it, but I'm not sure they're ready to settle down. 1.2968 0.04859 155 121 22 12
1065 Let me guess...they're going on a Viking cruise for their honeymoon! 1.2968 0.04111 155 113 38 4
1066 I am okay with the theme so long as we get cake and don’t have to eat roadkill. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1067 The gall of her -- dressed like that and making us wear these awful bridesmaid's dresses. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1068 They're rented. All his groomsmen were slain by the Irish. 1.2968 0.04944 155 122 20 13
1069 They’re going to plunder Europe for the Honeymoon. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1070 ”You May now fight to the death. 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1071 A little jazz, a little Ring Cycle--not your everyday theme wedding, is it?! 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1072 They met on NobleSavages.com. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1073 The bridal registry suggested all Viking appliances. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1074 Another Episcopalian Mixed Marriage 1.2945 0.04876 146 113 23 10
1075 It's like Tinder, but for weirdos 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1076 So much for an open bar. Looks like mead out of a horn! 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1077 Thank God they decided against Naked and Afraid. 1.2945 0.04472 146 109 31 6
1078 His ManPurse makes the outfit. 1.2945 0.04576 146 110 29 7
1079 Not looking forward to the 'no utensil' rule at the reception. 1.2945 0.04678 146 111 27 8
1080 I don't care if it does look like a sack, for what I paid for this dress - I'm so wearing it again! 1.2945 0.04143 146 106 37 3
1081 I thought you said they grew out of it when they were kids! 1.2945 0.04678 146 111 27 8
1082 Would you believe this is my third Hägar the Horrible themed wedding this summer? 1.2945 0.04365 146 108 33 5
1083 She did not tell us about the Viking marriage theme just to humiliate us. It is like middle school all over again! 1.2945 0.04778 146 112 25 9
1084 I just love her gown's plundering neckline. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1085 I'm just glad there is an open bar." 1.2941 0.04808 153 119 23 11
1086 It does take nerve to wear LL Bean duck boot knockoffs. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1087 So quaint. He’s still horny. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1088 Only true opera buffs could interpret The Ring this literally. 1.2941 0.04808 153 119 23 11
1089 Their funerals should be fun 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1090 I'm confuced, Is she a coverted Hun or is he converted Visigoth? 1.2941 0.04897 153 120 21 12
1091 He killed the best man, so you’ll be going stag to the reception. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1092 I heard The Pillage People are playing the reception. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1093 I give it two raids. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1094 Who knew Pillage.com had a dating app? 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1095 Brenda always preferred pillaging to partying" 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1096 You may now head butt the bride. 1.2941 0.04808 153 119 23 11
1097 I HAVE to find out where she bought those shoes. 1.2941 0.04897 153 120 21 12
1098 Did you remember to put the “Just Married” sign on the back of their longboat? 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1099 They wanted to be ready for any objectors. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1100 I am not looking forward to the garter toss. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1101 And do you promise to love, honor, and not bludgeon each other to death? 1.2941 0.04808 153 119 23 11
1102 You should have seen what they wore to the rehearsal dinner. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1103 When did she convert? 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1104 It'll never last. He travels a lot for work. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1105 I hope you like "Smorgasbord". 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1106 It’s so cute when she calls him Hunny. 1.2914 0.04051 151 110 38 3
1107 God, everything these days is Scandinavian chic. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1108 You may wrestle the bride. 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1109 She always said she wanted a Viking in the kitchen. 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1110 I don't think they will have a Vegan option at the reception. 1.2914 0.04753 151 117 24 10
1111 At least we know it’s not a shotgun wedding 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1112 That hemline. She always had a great eye for fashion. 1.2914 0.04264 151 112 34 5
1113 They met on a cruise. He rowed. She mended the sail. 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1114 If I see a sacrificial fertility goat, I'm walking out. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1115 I still think the mace would have gone better with that dress than the sword. 1.2914 0.04159 151 111 36 4
1116 And do you, Ivanka, take this Great American to be your husband? 1.2914 0.04936 151 119 20 12
1117 At least we know why the gift registry specified Viking. 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1118 I hope they don't already have a toaster. 1.2914 0.04753 151 117 24 10
1119 They're gonna explore America for their honeymoon. 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1120 Just be happy they aren't Bears fans Monica. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1121 I gave 10 pelts 1.2914 0.04466 151 114 30 7
1122 How about that, a vow to never again use deodorant. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1123 I'm gonna pillage one of those groomsmen. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1124 This wasn't her wedding day fantasy when we were teenagers. 1.2914 0.04936 151 119 20 12
1125 I wish he hadn't eaten the flower girls. 1.2914 0.04936 151 119 20 12
1126 They really ran with this Minnesota football thing, huh? 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1127 On the other hand, they're both adept at writing code" 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1128 I'll bet their limo is out back eating hay. 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1129 I can’t believe they went with spats. 1.2914 0.04466 151 114 30 7
1130 Do you think he’s good in the ransack? 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1131 They wanted it to be both traditional AND progressive. 1.2914 0.04264 151 112 34 5
1132 I'm outta here when she turns around and throws the sword. 1.2914 0.04466 151 114 30 7
1133 She's always had a thing for the 'bad boy' type. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1134 They're going to rediscover America for their honeymoon! 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1135 If only we didn't have to hold these thistle bouquets. 1.2914 0.04466 151 114 30 7
1136 The reception buffet is 'Norvegan.'" 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1137 I hear they’re going to pillage in Hawaii. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1138 You may now club the bride. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1139 The honeymoon will be with a Viking crew not on a Viking cruise. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1140 I thought she said they were going hiking on their honeymoon. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1141 At least they don't have tattoos. 1.2905 0.04315 148 110 33 5
1142 This isn't what I thought when they said, "Traditional Attire". 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1143 After this they're going to pillage the reception across the street. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1144 Check that sword. She''l be wearing the codpiece in that marriage. 1.2905 0.05005 148 117 19 12
1145 I heard we're eating mutton 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1146 I love the part where they promise to burn, pillage and loot till death do they part. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1147 I wish they'd converted to Christianity before they burnt down the church. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1148 I now pronounce you goth and visigoth. You may pillage and burn. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1149 They met at MOMA. Go figure. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1150 I wonder where they’re raiding on their honeymoon. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1151 It's a pity that Helga slayed the groomsman at the rehearsal. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1152 I do.. All though I probably shouldn't. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1153 I can't believe they're wearing fanny packs at the altar. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1154 I don’t know if it’s re-enactment, pre-enactment, or just dumb. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1155 Are you staying after the ceremony for the for the looting and pillaging? 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1156 It was war at first sight 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1157 I think she went for the guy with the biggest horns. 1.2905 0.05005 148 117 19 12
1158 I wonder when the ring cycle is going to be over. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1159 Well, they did say it would be an old-fashioned wedding. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1160 They plan to pillage and plunder for a whole year before starting a family. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1161 Check out that rock! 1.2877 0.04856 146 114 22 10
1162 That's really clever - A yarmulkah that doubles as a coat rack. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1163 Isn't this carrying their paleo diet a little too far? 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1164 They met last year at the Met Gala 1.2877 0.04952 146 115 20 11
1165 And for their honeymoon they're going to loot the Saxons 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1166 So...the Saga begins 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1167 She says they met on that new Pillage & Plunder theme dating site. He gets to be Thor tonight but we all know who going to really be "Thor" tomorrow. 1.2877 0.04856 146 114 22 10
1168 It won’t last, they are always competing, 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1169 The reception being at Comic-Con makes sense now. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1170 If anyone objects to this man Hägar taking this woman Helga to be his lawfully wedded wife speak now at your own peril. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1171 She’s gonna introduce me to his brother. I heard he looks just like Thor. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1172 This whole time I thought they had met through her *biking* club. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1173 And do you, take Bob, house of Humdrum, rightful heir to the framed jerseys, elder man of the golden beerbong, doer of many things, loudest snorer in the seven kingdoms, loudest belcher in the great hall to love and to cherish until death do you part 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1174 They're very old-fashioned. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1175 I can't believe they made us wear these ridiculous outfits. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1176 It's my first time at one of these- when do we send them off in a flaming boat? 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1177 Norseman? I thought you said he was a horse man. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1178 Speak now and forever rest in peace. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1179 These Vikings fans carry it a little too far. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1180 They agreed to omit "obey" for obvious reasons. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1181 I give it one ár. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1182 Hope she doesn't slay him until after my aria. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1183 They met on a Norwegian cruise for single pillagers. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1184 Valhalla is the ultimate 'fuck you' destination wedding. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1185 Paleo isn’t for everyone. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1186 She's taking his name but keeping her own plunder. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1187 I'm getting antsy, how long until we "drink the blood of our ancestors"? 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1188 You may now slay the groom. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1189 I’m just praying that no one objects...! 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1190 Did you see the tin cans tied to the ship? 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1191 You're so much more evolved than your sister. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1192 Her 'something pillaged' is so last season. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1193 It's so romantic. He's sacking Paris for their honeymoon. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1194 She always had a thing for guys from Minnesota. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1195 Just stay out of my way when she throws it and nobody will get hurt. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1196 He was also the first in his extended family to go to college. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1197 He’s from Minnesota. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1198 ....in famine and in pillage.... 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1199 For the reception, we raid a small village. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1200 I give it six months before one of them wants to be pushed out to sea. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1201 We're getting them a Viking range. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1202 See, I told you she would wear vintage 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1203 Actually, I thought the dragon ring bearer was a nice touch. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1204 Animal skins make me look fat! 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1205 Well, at least it wasn't a destination wedding! 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1206 They met on a Viking Cruise Ship last summer. 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
1207 And do you Yigvildfr, agree to fight, hunt and gather with Gizurr, for as long as you both survive? 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1208 Ancestry analysis does have consequences. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1209 Have you ever seen a groom that horny? 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1210 You may now whack the bride. 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
1211 I'm more of a Packers fan myself 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1212 I just love Minnesota. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1213 I give it three pillages. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1214 Heads up girls , I heard she’s going to catapult the bouquet. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1215 You may now maraud the countryside. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1216 Viking weddings are so... yesterday. 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
1217 If anyone objects to this union, please say so now--before your tongue is cut from your throat, sliced, and served at the reception. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1218 And now, the bride and groom will exchange thrusts and parries. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1219 The reception should be fun. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1220 And I said the bride's maids' dresses were too retro! 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1221 Who would have guessed they met through JDate? 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
1222 I give it one conquest. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1223 You’re the oldest, so I’ll let you catch the bride’s sword. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1224 It’s my first paleo wedding. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1225 Only in Minnesota. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1226 ...In famine and in gluttony, in sacking and in restoration... 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1227 Well, she did say we should all go retro, but I didn't realize how far back her idea of retro extended. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1228 I believe I’ll skip the bridal bouquet toss 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
1229 Kick that Starbucks cup away 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1230 At least it's better than when she was dating the Phillies fan! 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1231 So charming their vow to love, honor, and plunder. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1232 Til death and a flaming arrow into a boat do you part. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1233 They couldn’t fjord a tuxedo. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1234 They met at some football game in Minnesota. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1235 Apparently, he just swiped right on ValhallaVixens and the rest is history... 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
1236 You know what, Inga? I also hope that you catch the sword. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1237 Fanny packs? Really? 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
1238 She's just marrying him for his plunder. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1239 I never thought they'd get past the mortal combat phase. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1240 Personally, I prefer a Viking Funeral. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1241 I'm told they'll invade Scotland for their honeymoon. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1242 Are you going to the skull bashing? 1.2847 0.04993 144 114 19 11
1243 It's so romantic. They're going on a Viking cruise. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1244 As soon as this is over, I'm going to pillage the buffet. You with me? 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1245 ...in sickness and in health, hmmm - let's skip this "until death do us part" bit 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1246 You think this is bad, I had to sit through her Mom's funeral 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1247 i hear she converted. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1248 They met on Christian Mingle. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1249 Their pillaging style is totally different. I guess opposites do attract. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1250 When did they change it to a themed wedding? 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1251 Getting married is all about the cutlery. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1252 They couldn’t afford a real destination wedding. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1253 Apparently, the groom is from Minnesota 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1254 She’s not the type to sit at home while he goes out raping and pillaging. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1255 She thinks he'll settle down and only pillage 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1256 Who knew this would lead to when she took up fencing at Wellsley. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1257 I got them a boulder for the man cave. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1258 They met at a Halloween party in Minnesota. The rest is history. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1259 Did they gird their loins? 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1260 I now pronounce you man and wife. You may club the bride." 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1261 They met at a Vikings game and it changed their lives. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1262 For better or Thor worse . . . . 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1263 They met on a Viking river tour. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1264 No wonder there was so much Viking cutlery on the gift registry." 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1265 Since she converted, she really dresses the part. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1266 I hear the honeymoon is on one of those “riverboat” cruises. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1267 I was thinking Vikingmatch.com was way too niche... 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1268 They had the best man at the rehearsal dinner. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1269 It's about time they stopped raiding and settled down. 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1270 She was looking for a guy who was horny. 1.2847 0.05070 137 108 19 10
1271 And do you Hägar take Helga to be . . . 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1272 If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married it shall be settled by joust in the reception tent. 1.2817 0.04831 142 111 22 9
1273 I wish she'd just hurry up and sing. 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1274 If anyone objects to this marriage, demand ritualistic combat now. 1.2817 0.04831 142 111 22 9
1275 Honey, a black minister? I hope he doesn’t feel out of place. 1.2817 0.04934 142 112 20 10
1276 It was love on first invasion..." "Brenda..." "They're r-a-i-d-iant" "Stop it. 1.2817 0.04831 142 111 22 9
1277 Her ex was a Packers fan. 1.2817 0.04510 142 108 28 6
1278 He's the new general manager for the Minnesota Vikings, I hear. 1.2817 0.04510 142 108 28 6
1279 If anyone has reason for these two not to wed; please don’t speak, you’ll regret it. 1.2817 0.04831 142 111 22 9
1280 "Yes, that was his vow - 'I drink and I know things.' 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1281 Always the bridesmaid, never the sacrifice. 1.2817 0.04043 142 104 36 2
1282 How do you “speak now” in Old Norse? 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1283 Fucking Tinder! 1.2817 0.05132 142 114 16 12
1284 When he says “speak now or forever your peace,” hold your peace. 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
1285 They met on a Viking Cruise. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1286 You know, I'm the one who kept telling her, 'Hägar isn't THAT horrible'. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1287 I now pronounce you anything you want please don't kill me. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1288 I suggestes Mediterranean but no, they had to go Paleo. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1289 To save money on the reception, instead of catering, we’ll be pillaging the Olive Garden. 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1290 They met ransacking Paris, the City of Love. 1.2806 0.05209 139 112 15 12
1291 They're both hunters, it won't last. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1292 Classic us, Helga: always the shieldwench, never the shieldmaiden. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1293 I wish I'D thought of walking down the aisle to the wailing of my enemies. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1294 He plays for Minnesota, and she was a Green Bay cheerleader. It was part of the prenuptial agreement. 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
1295 She landed a great catch: Thor is a Wall Street raider. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1296 If this is an authentic Viking Wedding then why are the groomsmen in tuxes? 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1297 There originally from Minnesota. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1298 Plundering and pillaging together sounds so romantic. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1299 It was love at first fight. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1300 ...for better, for Norse... 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1301 Gretel is the only girl around here who can really tame him. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1302 Remember when Bob Mankoff bought funny cartoons for the magazine ?" 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1303 Heads up when she tosses the bouquet. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1304 Now I see why they said not to play the Mendelssohn. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1305 I now pronounce you Atilla and Hun 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1306 It started with the Paleo diet and now they live in a cave and hunt all of their food 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1307 Costumes. Another reason to hate destination weddings. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1308 Apparently, in the rehearsal nobody told the best man that human sacrifice was a sign of good fortune in Viking weddings, so I’m sorry we are short one male in the wedding party 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1309 If Trump's 4th wife is Elizabeth Warren, I'll vote for him in 2020. 1.2774 0.05047 137 109 18 10
1310 Yes, this is an unorthodox congregation albeit with traditional overtones. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1311 You really do go in with your eyes open the second time around. 1.2774 0.05047 137 109 18 10
1312 Bridesmaid: 'Why'd they make us wear these weird outfits?!' 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1313 I hope the wedding planner remembered to pillage some vegan dinner options. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1314 They're trying to prove a point to their parents that they can make it work. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1315 Blessings on your heads . . . and any other heads you might acquire. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1316 She promised to love, honor, and cosplay. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1317 The belt bags are Gucci. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1318 If Fred knew they were going to behead him, he would have held his peace. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1319 Those that live by the sword get their guy by the sword. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1320 They wrote their own vows. This could get messy. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1321 I now pronounce you...whatever it is you two are going for here. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1322 Nothing like a really old-fashioned wedding ! 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1323 She made us wear these fancy bridesmaid dresses and she shows up in that? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1324 I love these retro Jewish weddings! 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1325 The weapons are a nice touch, but the matching plunder pouches are just too cute 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1326 I’m planning on leaving right before she throws the sword. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1327 And I now pronounce you husband and wife... until one of you get a real job and stop the illusion of thinking that life could be an eternal geek fair. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1328 At least it's not Star Wars like the last three dudes she married. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1329 She said she was dating a guy named Thor, but this is ridiculous. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1330 Funny thing is, she broke off her last relationship because she said she couldn’t take his toxic masculinity. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1331 I mean I get the idea of theme weddings, but I just wish they had told the rest of us. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1332 If I were the bride I'd demand a prenup in event of decapitation. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1333 I'm going along with it - but if there are no eating utensils at the reception, I'm out of here. 1.2774 0.04109 137 101 34 2
1334 Is Viking cuisine the same as Paleo? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1335 Tossing of the sword should be fun 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1336 She swore to me she'd never go on another of those damned cruises. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1337 They fight out the "obey" bit later. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1338 In sickness and health. In war and in peace. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1339 I'm glad they raided until they both were ready 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1340 Ever since 23andMe, he has taken this whole Viking thing WAY too far. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1341 They're going to pillage London on their honeymoon. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1342 ...for richer or poorer, for better or Norse.... 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1343 The vow to slaughter their enemies is touching. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1344 They met on the Paleo Diet site 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1345 For their honeymoon, they're going to pillage England, Wales and Ireland. 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1346 If he didn't marry her, her dad was going to bring the hammer down. 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1347 You should have seen her bachelorette party. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1348 Aren't the cell phone fanny packs a bit of an anachronism? 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1349 Always a bridesmaid, never Brunhilde. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1350 Pillaging starts at seven. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1351 At least they backed off on their request for dragons. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1352 I take thee to be my lawfully wedded wife, in fighting or in battle, in pitched combat, or in all-out melee, in conquest and in defeat, where death will do us part. 1.2741 0.04980 135 107 19 9
1353 Pillage, plunder, feast... should be a lively reception. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1354 Hipsters are really getting out of control 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1355 Helga insists he’s really not that horrible. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1356 I like his take on the yarmulke, very retro. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1357 They plan to spend their honeymoon pillaging Cancun. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1358 I don’t get it. They don’t own a boat and neither of them like watching football. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1359 I just hope his pillaging can keep up with her lifestyle. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1360 And do you promise never to leave a Starbucks cup on the table? 1.2741 0.05197 135 109 15 11
1361 No one wears the pants in this marriage." 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1362 The other groomsman will be found in the bog in a thousand years 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1363 I'll bet on death do us part 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1364 The hoopah's nice, but I think he's already smashed all the glassware. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1365 I will NOT be trying to catch the bouquet! 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1366 That battle-axe of a mother in law doesn't know what she's in for. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1367 I must have seven of these bridesmaid skins in the yurt and I’ll never wear any of them again! 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1368 And do you Hilde vow to plunder and pillage with reckless abandon so long as you both shall live? 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1369 Do you promise to love, honor and rarely stab each other? 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1370 She told me she was scrapping "obey." 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1371 I think the matching fanny packs create a nice modern vibe. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1372 Are you staying for the post-nuptial sacking of the town? 1.2741 0.04262 135 101 31 3
1373 They went beserk when they first met. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1374 I thought they were kidding when they said the were going on a Viking Cruise in a long boat! 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1375 You should have seen him before the paleo diet 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1376 I knew her as Kathy. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1377 I heard she's only in it for the pillage 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1378 At least he waxes his back. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1379 I now promounce you conquered and pillaged. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1380 He had her at “Hello, Hun.” 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1381 She converted to barbarism for his family. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1382 So does this make her a Viqueen? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1383 are they going to war for their honey moon? 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1384 They're from Minneapolis. 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1385 The matching purses are a nice touch, don't you think? 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1386 I can only imagine what happened to the third groomsman! 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1387 Everything has gotten so 'Game of Thrones' lately. 1.2727 0.04574 132 101 26 5
1388 Our bridesmaid dresses are so tacky. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1389 She's pillaging his last name. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1390 The groomsmen tied cans to their ship. 1.2707 0.04151 133 99 32 2
1391 You can catch the bouquet. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1392 Do you promise to honour, obey, loot, rape, and pillage? 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1393 She's changed so much since she started dating Hagar. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1394 All I said was, 'Sometimes marriage is a battle, and you have to be prepared for that.' 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1395 I can't really say that the Paleo Diet has worked for him. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1396 you catch the bouquet! 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1397 He says he lost it during the bachelor pillage. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1398 It sure was a long engagement. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1399 You may pillage the bride 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1400 Can you believe it? Those aren't even his real horns! 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1401 Do you promise to raid, rape and pillage together till death does you part? 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1402 I wonder if there's a vegan option at the buffet? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1403 Do you think she's going to throw that for the bouquet toss? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1404 I heard the lutefisk is imported. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1405 I thought you were in charge of providing the sacrificial goat. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1406 If anyone objects to this union, I'd keep quiet if I were you. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1407 It worked out well for the Flintstones. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1408 Donald of Sweden and Melania of Slovenia… 1.2707 0.05133 133 107 16 10
1409 Siegfried always dreamed of being married by Reverend Sharpton. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1410 I hope no one noticed that I spilled my latte on her dress in the bridal suite. 1.2707 0.04151 133 99 32 2
1411 I hear they etched their own vows. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1412 No, Margaret. The pillaging doesn't start until after the cocktail hour. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1413 Oh yeah... it’s open bar 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1414 I love theme weddings! 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1415 They met online. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1416 They were found together in a glacier melt." 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1417 This beats that Viking funeral I went to last week. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1418 I heard they met on the “PlundR” app. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1419 As in all mixed marriages: She carries the sword! 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1420 For their honeymoon, they'll be sacking the Hebrides. 1.2707 0.04012 133 98 34 1
1421 I hear that they're already fighting 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1422 And on top of everything, they’ve both gone Paleo! 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1423 I'm in the mood to pillage some groomsmen. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1424 Take it from me they are perfect together. He's plunder and she's pillage. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1425 Did you bring The Ring? 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1426 I understand that for their honeymoon they are going to attack Rhode Island. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1427 They've aged well, haven't they? 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1428 Their DNA tests came back 1% Scandinavian 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1429 The pillage vow is so romantic 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1430 I just love the matching cross-body bags! 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1431 I'm betting on death do them part. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1432 I hear they wrote their own chants. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1433 'In peace or melee--I like that... 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1434 Well, it was long overdue 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1435 This is where marital turns martial. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1436 I think they're way beyond cosplay. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1437 I'm going to duck out just before the blood sacrifice. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1438 She's going to regret that dress in a few years 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1439 Their registry is for plundered china. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1440 I love a traditional wedding. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1441 They're going on a cruise for their honeymoon. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1442 They both had second thoughts but decided to settle it after the ceremony. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1443 If it were really authentic, there'd be more pillaging. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1444 Some might question their full commitment to the paleo diet. 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1445 How soon do you think I can leave? I'm still in season 7. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1446 They're honeymooning in Iceland. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1447 I would object but I'm afraid of being impaled. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1448 I'll be skipping the reception. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1449 Thank God for Tinder. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1450 Isn't this taking '23andMe' a bit too far. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1451 Apparently the dinner and pillaging are buffet style. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1452 Yet I feel, as they say, Winter is coming. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1453 I know this is terrible but I can't pronounce either of their names. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1454 NOTICE WHO HAS THE BIGGER SWORD? 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1455 Yea, I’m just going to hold my peace. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1456 Without those big horns he's shorter than she is. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1457 It's Knut's fourteenth marriage, but only his third Christian one. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1458 Don't you just love being in these reality shows! 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1459 Well, after all, they did meet on a Viking River Cruise. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
1460 I hope to hell they don't have kids! 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1461 Always a bridesmaid, never a Valkyrie. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1462 I hear Columbus is already claiming he was married here first... 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1463 Time travel gives new meaning to destination weddings. 1.2692 0.05098 130 104 17 9
1464 They plan a week pillaging in The Bahamas. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1465 You may now pillage the bride. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1466 I heard they're serving mammoth at the reception. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1467 And now I pronounce you Hun and Hunny! 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
1468 She told you the reception's in Valhalla, right? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1469 The groom captured the guys in the suits in a raid on another wedding. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1470 They're spending their honeymoon at Comic-con ... why do you ask? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1471 In sickness and dismemberment? 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1472 By the Old Gods and the New? I thought she was Episcopalian. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1473 Pray that they never have a marital spat. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1474 Just imagine their divorce. A bloodbath. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1475 I helped him pillage the ring. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1476 They say it was a match made in Valhalla. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1477 Do you think those outfits are rentals? 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
1478 I think the groomsmen are his friends from World of Warcraft. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1479 My destination wedding was at a bodega in the Bronx. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1480 Do you promise to kill and pillage in sickness and in health till death do you part? 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1481 They're assimilated immigrants. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
1482 After the reception, they're sacking Rome. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1483 They met during the ring cycle 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1484 It's the perfect match, booty for booty. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1485 When they moved in together, they started on the paleo diet; things somehow just escalated from there. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1486 I thought you said this was a shotgun wedding. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1487 I imagine the “forsaking all others” part will be easy for them 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1488 They have a Viking cruise planned 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1489 THEY MET AT A ROCK CONCERT. 1.2656 0.05141 128 103 16 9
1490 Wagner's "Ring"? 1.2656 0.05141 128 103 16 9
1491 At least we can't call this a shotgun wedding. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1492 If a life of pillaging is what makes her happy we should support that. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1493 At least it's in a church. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1494 Marriage is not for the weak of heart. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1495 ...for Bitter or Wurst... 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1496 They met a long time ago, on a Viking cruise. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1497 ...and do you both commit to pillage and plunder till death do you part? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1498 Well aren't we a little overdressed 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
1499 Her dad raided and pillaged for the whole thing. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1500 Time travel sure added a whole new dimension for destination weddings 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1501 I hear the third groomsman didn't make the cut 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1502 It's a marriage made in Heaven—they're both corporate raiders. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1503 They couldn't afford a destination wedding. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1504 ...to plunder and pillage ‘til death do you part. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1505 Can you play any Wagner? 1.2632 0.05580 114 93 12 9
1506 The prenup is written in blood. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1507 Great Odin's Beard, Agnus. You know the saying, 'The family that slays together, stays together' ". 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1508 A bit dramatic since the other 98% indicated Western European 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1509 BarbariansOnly.com 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1510 They've really gone all-in since they did that 23andMe test. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1511 Doris, this isn’t the Keller Wedding.” “Shush, just stand still. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1512 Well, she'll always get great Bluetooth reception. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1513 When they told me it was a Wagner themed wedding I thought it was just the wedding march... 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1514 So much for the shotgun wedding 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1515 I hope she doesn’t expect me to hold her sword while she says her vows. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1516 So relieved Cheryl opted for a Viking theme, for a while there she was talking Game of Thrones. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1517 Something tells me to skip the reception 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1518 They're on a budget so we'll just pillage a small reception afterwards. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1519 Do you promise not to decapitate, disembowel or use sorcery to settle any marital disputes? 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1520 I'm a Packer's fan. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1521 No, I did not think this is the 'traditional' they were talking about... 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1522 I misunderstood "business attire" 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1523 Nordstrom Rack. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1524 It’s his Viking funeral. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1525 They’re both actuaries in real life. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1526 Aren't they taking this paleo fad a bit too far. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1527 Can you believe this bitch made me buy a $800 coral dress for this shit? 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1528 A sharp edge is key to a good marriage. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1529 I catch the bouquet, or I crush your skull with a battle axe. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1530 Oh he'll get in a few jabs, but she'll be ready for close combat. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1531 It’s a relief we were allowed to pick our own bridesmaid dresses. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1532 On second thought, I 'm going to forever hold my peace. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1533 It's the second marriage for her and the twenty third for him" 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1534 I said, "YOU're Thor? I can hardly pith!" 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1535 Ahh, it's a match made in Asgard 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1536 Is it just me or has she had some work? 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1537 You should have seen the drama over the ring! 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1538 Who invited the Swede? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1539 They’ll be at each other’s throats before the honeymoon is over 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1540 ekrjgn;kjdfgregnjfd 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1541 She knew he was the one when he called her “hun.” The funny thing is, she’s a Visigoth. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1542 It'll be a marriage made in Valhalla 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1543 And to think I could have been off somewhere saving money with GEICO. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1544 The traditional first anniversary gift is a side of mutton. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1545 Yeah, the Iron Age is actually a thing now. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1546 Surprisingly, they've never even seen an episode. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1547 Honestly, I prefer viking funerals. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1548 She had all but given up on internet dating... 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1549 I'll be happy to let you catch the sword when she tosses it. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1550 ...yeah, right after they got their ancestry DNA results. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1551 They are very old fashioned but rather progressive on matters of race. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1552 I thought it was just going to be a one night raid... 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1553 And do you promise to love, honor, and pillage...till death do you part? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1554 I told you it would be casual. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
1555 ...and don't ya think she reminds him of his mother? 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1556 These Ancestry.com weddings are getting popular. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1557 Will you take this man Hägar for horrible or worse? 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1558 I'm telling you, someone is going to get poisoned, stabbed, or beheaded before the champagne toast. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1559 Obviously she didn't listen. I told her it's supposed to be white fur for a first marriage. 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
1560 Matching Armani 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1561 I think they misunderstand 'camp'. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1562 She told me it took him about a thousand years to pop the question! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1563 I hope he knows about the Me-Too movement 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1564 This theme wedding fad is out of control 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1565 The invite says we're invading England after the reception. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1566 I thought the sack bride's maid dresses were to make her look better. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1567 Oh to be afly on the wall for that first PTO meeting. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1568 Apparently it was a compromise. He wanted a blood wedding. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1569 It won't last the first winter. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1570 That dress is so last season. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1571 Longest engagement I ever heard of. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1572 With their lifestyle, they won't be living that long anyway. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1573 I bet I know who his favorite team is. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1574 I'm all for being unique, but an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen- who even does that?! 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
1575 This is not what I imagined when they said it was going to be an old-school wedding 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1576 She may have snagged the last Neanderthal. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1577 So is she Mrs. the Destroyer now? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1578 They met through Ancestry.com 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1579 I'm guessing the dinner will be Paleo too? 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1580 We may want to duck when they get to 'obey'. 1.2602 0.03972 123 91 32 0
1581 So I say, "I don't care if your dad is Odin, I am not wearing fur." 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1582 Until--WHAT?! do we part? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1583 I’m told he provided all the meats for the reception. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1584 Wilma wasn't sure Fred was proposing until she saw the size of the rock. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1585 Brunhilde's procession to the Ride of the Valkyries was to die for! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1586 By the powers given to me by the almighty, I now pronounce you man and his chattel" 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1587 This is nothing. I heard that last week, they had the Giants here 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1588 Til death do you part...for marriage is dark and full of terrors. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1589 It’s amazing they found each other. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1590 They think marriage is primitive. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1591 I hear they're going to spend their honeymoon on a nice little pillage in Bordeaux. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1592 There’s someone out there for everyone. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1593 They had been dating for ages. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1594 For this I had to buy a new dress? 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1595 Thor looks fine, but what was she thinking with those shoes? 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1596 Those shoes look so comfortable. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1597 Sheesh, I guess www.singlevikingsmeet.com really works! 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1598 Are you going to stay after for the pillaging? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1599 Who knew Sammy Davis Jr.'s son ran a Temple at Burning Man? 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
1600 Go figure, both are running for president! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1601 I helped her pick out these bridesmaid dresses. You're welcome. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1602 Nothing says equal marriage partnership better than a huge sword. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1603 Did he just take her as his "awful" wedded wife? 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
1604 You've just got to see it. Their new place is a cavern. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1605 He did pillage her village, but at least he’s taking her name 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1606 And after the ceremony, they're going to invade Greenland. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1607 Why don't we get swords? 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1608 She said all she wanted was an old fashioned wedding. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1609 They met cute at the Sack of Rome. She was pillaging. He was plundering 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1610 I heard her parents bought them a starter pillage town up north. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1611 So is the joke on us or them? 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1612 She does 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1613 As soon as I saw him, I said, 'Hilda, he's the one.' 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1614 They met in online pillaging forum. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1615 I heard they killed the third groomsman. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1616 What's with the ridiculous spats? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1617 He brought herring. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1618 Have I told you I've never seen a single episode? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1619 they met at the paleo buffet on a Viking cruise 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
1620 They wore the same pelt. How embarrassing! 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1621 - Sam told me they've found a lovely condo in Greenland with a huge backyard. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1622 Is promising to pillage and plunder one vow or two? 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1623 She thought he said vicodin, but they fell in love anyway. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1624 They found a quaint, little village to plunder for their honeymoon. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1625 During the ceremony, would you please give those to the weapons-bearer? 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1626 They met at an Alice Cooper concert. 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
1627 Is this ceremony binding in any state other than Minnesota? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1628 Never mind. I'm going to hold my peace. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1629 I give it a week. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
1630 When they said 'to sack and to pillage,' they meant downtown, right? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1631 I hear they really bonded over scrapbooking. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1632 For their honeymoon, they are going to pillage in Ireland. 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
1633 ...in plague and in the brief time between plagues, for pillager and for pillaged, 'til a massive club wielding troll shall part you... 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1634 Till death do us part" might be sooner than they think 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1635 Nope, not ‘Game of Thrones’, it’s just that their luggage was lost”.. 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
1636 After the wedding, they go trick-or-treating. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1637 No, they met on that new white nationalist dating site, goodpeopleonbothsides.com! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1638 I hope this has a happier ending than the Viking funeral I went to last month. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1639 Did he just say rape and pillage til death do us part? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1640 I didn't realize method acting was so extreme. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1641 They say their marriage vows are based on mutually assured destruction. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1642 I'm the Betty to her Wilma. 1.2562 0.04154 121 91 29 1
1643 You know of course Waltraute,they are brother and sister. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1644 If I were her, I would be concerned if my husband only had 2 friends. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1645 I just think they are so right for each other, don't you? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1646 She gets a sword and all we bridesmaids get are these lousy flowers. Typical. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1647 They say it takes a pillage if they have kids. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1648 Guess who wears the pants in this family? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1649 I heard they're plundering in France for their honeymoon. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1650 Typical. She gets to carry a sword and we get flowers. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1651 It really is about time,don't you think? 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1652 Do you promise to love, honor, and lose weight? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
1653 Isn't it sweet - they met while plundering 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
1654 I thought this would never happen. They've been engaged for eons. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1655 By the looks of her dress, he must not be her first conquest. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
1656 You may now start your rampage." 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1657 Their museum crawl through Scandinavia has had a life changing effect on them. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1658 I hear she can't even look at another guy or he goes berserk 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1659 Well, I think we can rule out a shotgun wedding! 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1660 We apparently have to up our game in the shoe department. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1661 They met filming a credit card commercial 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1662 I thought she said she was getting a Viking stove..... 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1663 His pillage buddies won't stop with the "Eric the Wed" jokes. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1664 Eh, are you sure she's from Minnesota?! 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1665 I give it 3 harvest moons, at best. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1666 His first wife's ship is still smoking. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1667 It's so romantic, they both listed raiding and pillaging as favorite things to do on their Tender profile. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1668 You can be sure that something about this wedding will end up at the Supreme Court. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1669 I originally thought the Hagar the Horrible wedding idea was bad, but last week I went to a Garfield-themed one. There were three different kinds of lasagna at the reception. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1670 I hear they play rough in bed. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1671 What is more romantic than a springtime fertility rite? 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1672 (bridesmaid to person at her right) We need another sword here. These flowers aren’t going to keep him from bolting. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1673 Her first husband was a Chewbacca fanboy, and things got a bit hairy. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1674 I guess he won't be asking if anyone objects, being that they killed their three objectors at last night's out-of-towners'dinner." 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1675 Who still gets married in Vegas? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1676 I always cry at beheadings. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1677 I already hear the fat lady singing. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1678 They're actually quite diverse; she's from Bushwick, and he's from Williamsburg. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1679 If anyone objects to this brother and sister entering into unholy matrimony speak now and run like hell. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1680 I just love old fashioned weddings. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1681 She's settling. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1682 They’re into yoga and pillaging. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1683 She's not Jewish. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1684 It really seems to emphasize "Til death do us part." 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1685 It was such a fight to do the service in English. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1686 It just finished tying tin cans to their ship 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1687 Uh, there's retro and then there's retro. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1688 Apparently they’re from Norway and getting married was the only way to get Visa to live here. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1689 It's about time. They've been dating forever. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1690 I'll never recommend Saks again. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1691 Saga, do you accept this stolen ring from Thor? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1692 The other groomsman is in hiding. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1693 I told you it would be a double-sword ceremony! 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1694 They say that those who slay together, stay together. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1695 They don't know how to count! 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1696 Yeah, some people take this Ancestry DNA testing a little too serious. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1697 After the ceremony they fight over who cuts the cake. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1698 I hear Siegfried isn’t his real name. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1699 I've heard of a destination wedding but this is just ridiculous! 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1700 ...To raid and to pillage... 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1701 Romance today. It takes a pillage. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1702 I understand it's not raping and pillaging if he marries her. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1703 Guess what cruise line they picked for the honeymoon? 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1704 They're very dedicated. They've only taken today off from their congressional duties. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1705 Do you Inge, promise to love cherish and above all, obey Ing until the fat lady sings? 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1706 I now pronounce you Fred and Wilma Flinstone. 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1707 I'm all for theme weddings, but did they have to impale the best man? 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1708 Can you believe Thor met Brunhilda on match.com 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1709 I think 'till death do us part' is a perfect vow for them. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1710 They've never taken a river cruise before. They've only raided them. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1711 I hear the reception has a blood-of-their-enemies fountain. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1712 $800 each for our bridesmaid dresses! Seriously? 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1713 The reception menu is meat. Lots of meat. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1714 They met at a Cosplay Convention. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1715 This is the last wedding in Vegas I'll go to 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1716 Theme weddings are getting out of hand. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1717 Love, honor and slay? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1718 How to tell when your wedding planner binged Game Of Thrones 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1719 It's her third time. She is trying not to take herself to seriously. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1720 This is my first time attending a bris. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1721 You may now kill the bride. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1722 What did you say, hun? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1723 She was calling her flock of goats, and Thor showed up! 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1724 We're also having a Paleo Reception! 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1725 She told me he stepped right out of her dreams, but I know for a fact she made that costume for him. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1726 Do you promise to pillage and plunder until death do you part? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1727 You have to admit, as theme weddings go this one is UNIQUE! 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1728 These theme weddings are really starting to get out of hand. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1729 I give this marriage six looting and pillaging raids at most. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1730 I can't wait, Beatrice's dad, Olaf, went all out, herring, wild boar ("save an ear for me") and a primo grog fountain. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1731 And they've already named their first born Thor. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1732 She's a good fighter herself, and admired his spear thrust; and of course, he owns half of Spitsbergen. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1733 Don’t try to catch the bouquet. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1734 I guess "tandem biking" was a typo. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1735 Her lipstick is too bold. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1736 ‘When should we tell them about the White Walkers? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1737 Well, they sure took the CAMP theme seriously. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1738 When the time comes, they plan to have a Viking funeral as well. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1739 The Minister must not know he’s going to be sacrificed during the Recessional. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1740 These days her sharp sword trumps my sharp wit. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1741 Why do they get to wear tuxes and we're dressed like roadkill? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1742 Unitarian? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1743 They are both on a paleo diet 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1744 They met on a Viking Cruise singles cruise to Bermuda 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1745 She says she’s going to keep her Starbucks name, though. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1746 Is marrying Paleo as good for you as eating Paleo? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1747 This promises to be an interesting wedding night. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1748 For worse or for worser? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1749 They say it won’t last. Deep down she’s a pillager but he’s all about the plunder. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1750 They were engaged in battle then decided to tie the knot. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1751 I'm a childhood friend of the bride. I knew her before her psychotic break. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1752 His best man , Hagar, couldn't make it?....That man is horrible! 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1753 I told you to burn the church AFTER our marriage. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1754 That Paleo diet is a slippery slope. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1755 Who has a location wedding in Norway? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1756 I can't wait for the buffet! 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1757 I heard they are going to settle in Valhalla, the one in New York 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1758 Looks like the rumours were true - Thor really had to go back a long way to find a virgin. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1759 They created,"till death do us part." 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1760 Don't you think period weddings have gotten just a little bit out of hand? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1761 The only place I've seen Thor pillage and plunder is the casino buffet. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1762 Both families go way back! 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1763 I told them having the dragon as their ring-bearer was a bad idea. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1764 This makes three Viking weddings and a funeral for me this year. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1765 The third usher fell out of the boat 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1766 I heard she's into rough sex. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1767 ....for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in war and in peace,.... 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1768 The good news is, their first fight will likely be their last fight! 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1769 And to think that this started when he asked if she liked football 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1770 Call me crazy, but I find a Viking funeral more culturally appealing. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1771 She couldn't resist his stove. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1772 I was hoping to wear leather. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1773 He's perfect for Troglodette. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1774 She's just in it for the pelts. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1775 I guess they're really committed to this paleo diet thing. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1776 Right after the reception they leave for six weeks of raiding and plundering in Europe. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1777 Did you agree to be one of the rowers on the honeymoon cruise? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1778 I heard they met cute. He pillaged her village. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1779 The new law prohibiting guns was signed today 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1780 It started when she went Paleo. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1781 Do you take Thor in pillage and blunder to ravage the countryside till death do you part. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1782 Do you think the Vikings will make it to the Superbowl this year? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1783 I never thought Putin would make it legal that Trump is his puppet and boy toy? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1784 I say they're evenly matched for the joust at the wedding reception. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1785 I pronounce you Eric the red and Mrs Red 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1786 Funny, they both show me their DNA , and they are American Indian ! 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1787 Her sword and his spear are wonderfully symbolic of lasting peace and harmony. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1788 The broadsword works perfectly. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1789 They're planning to hyphenate. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1790 Is she keeping her mane? 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1791 Is this your first Destination Wedding in Iceland? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1792 She says he's a real Neanderthal. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1793 Their honeymoon is booked with Time Travel 1.2479 0.05278 117 96 13 8
1794 They're planning a honeymoon raid on Ireland. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1795 It was either him or that Norman guy. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1796 How romantic! They're giving up the she shed and the man cave to live in a hole in the wall. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1797 Cheryl, did you know Thor is trans? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1798 The Viking Cruise! What else? 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1799 Did she just say 'Me too"? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1800 Well I think it's lovely how they promise to maraud, loot, and plunder 'till death do they part. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1801 I hope he takes his hat off before he kisses the bride. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1802 That what happens when you start on a paleo diet 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1803 How many more Jonas Brothers are there? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1804 I didn't realize they were doing the traditional ceremony or I could have worn an animal skin. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1805 Looks like they sacrificed the third groomsman. 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1806 They plan to honeymoon in Martha's Vineyard--then pillage it. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1807 I'm glad he moved on from the old battle axe. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1808 I'm not surprised. She always was a little horny. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1809 First she loved the man cave; then she loved the man. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1810 This is much better than the viking funeral I attended last weekend. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1811 Did the invitation say 'dress to impress' or 'dress to conquest? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1812 Have faith! For, truly, they shall cleave only unto one another. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1813 I'm just glad their favorite show wasn't 'The Apprentice.' 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1814 At the reception is she going to throw the SWORD? 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1815 She fell for him the moment he dragged her senseless. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1816 The couple may now exchange runes. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1817 I'm happy for her, but I just don't see how they're compatible. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1818 In the interest of everyones safety, I request please just forever hold your peace. 1.2479 0.05278 117 96 13 8
1819 Anyone who objects to this marriage, speak up now -- at your own risk! 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1820 After this, I'm definitely a Packers fan." 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1821 He's telling them to turn in their sidearms before hitting the sack. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1822 The honeymoon's going to be berserk. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1823 I hear that they are taking a Viking Cruise on their honeymoon. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1824 They went with a theme wedding because he couldn’t slim down for his tux. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1825 Dearly beheaded... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1826 I hear they're going to honeymoon in Newfoundland. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1827 He said Ugh? What kind of vow is that? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1828 They met through 23 And Me. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1829 I told you we shouldn't have hemmed. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1830 I am also available for Viking funerals and longship christenings. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1831 Don’t let their weapons fool you. It’s shotgun. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1832 When in Minnesota... 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1833 I do. Do I? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1834 Vikings don't make that much. How can they a-fjord this wedding? 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1835 Clearly, this match was made in Valhalla. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1836 Do you take this Viking, to stab and to scold, till death do you part?” 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1837 I can’t believe she made us buy these dresses. I feel like a fool up here. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1838 The honeymoon plan is plunder Jamaica, then chill in the Caymans. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1839 Oh, yes. She had to accept Thor as her savior. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1840 They booked a honeymoon cruise to Greenland. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1841 For this I needed to buy a fuchsia bridesmaid gown ? 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1842 It could be worse. At least they’re not diehard Washington fans. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1843 Til Thor do ye part. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1844 Theme" weddings have gone too far 1.2455 0.05508 110 91 11 8
1845 I thought she said their outfits were both 'striking'. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
1846 I miss when she was Mindy. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
1847 Honestly, we got off pretty easy as bridesmaids' dresses go. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1848 Truly Goth! 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1849 They do realize that The Game of Thrones thing is not real, right? 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1850 If you think this is weird, wait till you see how they cut the cake. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1851 Do you solemnly swear to scrub his beard once a year?" "I do. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1852 Will you take this Woden... 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1853 It was love at first melee. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1854 This isn't even the most barbaric wedding I've attended 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1855 They met at some Goth club downtown. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1856 Her last husband was a caveman. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1857 Forsaking all others, do you promise to burn, pillage and plunder, till death do you part? 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1858 ...And with the blessings of the Gods you may now live wildly ever after! 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1859 Their 23 and me results finally came in. Turns out Todd is 15% Nordic.” 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1860 Thank god she decided against the wool and flax dresses. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1861 And here I was, worried I'd never be able to wear the dress again. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1862 Well, what do you want? Every Viking needs a Viqueen. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1863 Always a Viking bridesmaid, never a Viking bride. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1864 So I'm guessing no one else got the 'Game of Thrones' wedding theme memo 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1865 Only one of you is going to be happy with these 23&Me results... 1.2411 0.05418 112 93 11 8
1866 They look happy now, but I've seen these marriages end in a Götterdämmerung. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1867 Is she going to throw that at us when the ceremony is over? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1868 Did you pillage this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1869 She always said that wearing white was too old-fashioned. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1870 Weren't their vows to rape and pillage in sickness and in health the sweetest thing ever? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1871 She was a Democrat but converted to Alt-Right when they got engaged. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1872 Does this dress makes me look fat? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1873 That 'Until Death Do Us Part' thing seems more real than ever before. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1874 They said no gifts - they’re going on a raid for their honeymoon. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1875 I'm pretty sure she'll be taking his last name. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1876 I don't know how they can afjord this reception and still manage to travel all the time. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1877 These bridesmaid dresses really could have been a lot worse. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1878 Welcome to Game of Betrothed. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1879 They plan to honeymoon in Valhalla. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1880 Im so glad there’s an open bar. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1881 Will you honour and obey? Yes he will 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1882 The wedding is Hagar the Horrible, but for the reception they've gone with a Blondie theme. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1883 I'm feeling slightly nauseated from the yak blood. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1884 The after party is going to be berserk. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1885 Do you promise to love her, until fiery death do us part? 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1886 The prenup gives her half of his pillage and plunder. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1887 Stone age indeed! Did you see the one in her ring? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1888 This whole Game of Thrones thing has gone too far. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1889 I now pronounce you Ooga and Booga 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1890 When you get past the whole 'pillaging and looting' thing, they make a really cute couple. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1891 A little too long on the paleo diet 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1892 They are not a cute couple. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1893 They met on a singles pillaging cruise." 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1894 Mum's Sword. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1895 I think it's all pleather. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1896 No Game of Thrones spoilers! 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1897 I may be wrong, but I think they still need to sacrifice a goat. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1898 I should have gone with the Starbucks gift card 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1899 Have you ordered tickets for their divorce yet? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1900 ‘Don’t kink-shame Janet. So what if they’re into Barbarian role play? Mind your own business you nosey-ass bitch. This is why Kenneth left you.’ 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1901 That preacher doesn't look Norwegian! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1902 I just hope the reception food isn't Paleo. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1903 Dearly Beclubbed we are gathered here together... 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1904 Did he just say, "Unite and conquer"? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1905 She said they will be honeymooning on a raid somewhere in Northumbria. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1906 Can you give me a ride to Valhalla after the service? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1907 Ten bucks we hear crickets after 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'" 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1908 They believe in traditional gender roles 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1909 Told her not to get married on a Sunday especially when the Vikings are +6 at Green Bay. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1910 I'm concerned that the "something blue" will be dragon fire. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1911 It's not really the size of the sword that matters, I've heard. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1912 I generally don't like destination weddings, but Westeros is so pretty this time of year. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1913 He owns three mountains and it was love at first sight for her. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1914 Do you promise not to refer to your mother-in-law as a Battle Ax? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1915 It's death to who parts? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1916 Them saying their own vows is simply barbaric. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1917 Do you take this bull by the horns to love and to cherish as long as you shall live? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1918 Lisa told me they met on an Asterix chat room but told her parents it was the Opera. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1919 I guess 'for better, for Norse' makes sense. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1920 You know, Janet, there's no way I'll get a second wearing out of this one, unless I'm in one of the Flintstones' wedding next year. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1921 She said she wanted something different, but Visigoth fashion is so itchy! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1922 Nothing like prehistoric traditions to make a modern woman feel loved. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1923 I give it six moons. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1924 I’ll never find anyone to pillage with. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1925 Luckily she has her sword to parry his spear tonight 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1926 Let's hope she skips that tradition of 'throwing the bouquet'. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1927 And for their honeymoon, they're going to sack and pillage the Outer Hebrides. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1928 They're going on a raiding cruise for their honeymoon. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1929 Some of us would prefer that they wore Cheeseheads. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1930 Of course the reception dinner is paleo 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1931 I give it till next Sunday night. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1932 Despite the raping and pillaging, they are quite the couple." 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1933 I dont think its healthy to binge watch Thrones while planning a wedding. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1934 I've heard they're going to invade Norway on their honeymoon. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1935 They're moving to Denmark to be closer to Olin's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1936 It is my pleasure to now pronounce them confused! You may now kiss whatever is standing next to you. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1937 They're vegans. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1938 Regardless, I still think 23andMe is a fun engagement present 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1939 I just wish she wouldn’t have used her sword to tailor that dress. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1940 For their honeymoon, they're going to conquer France. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1941 We don't sack the church until after the ceremony.' 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1942 “And I hear they’re taking a Viking cruise for their Honeymoon. Can you believe that? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1943 Tell me again why we spent $200 on matching dresses. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1944 And to rape, plunder and pillage so long as you both shall live? 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1945 Couples that rape and pillage together stay together. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1946 She wanted a man from the old school. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1947 The Groupon for the Viking Cruise delivered big-time. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1948 They registered for plunder. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1949 Maybe I'll pass on trying to catch the bouquet... 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1950 Your having forsworn rape and pillage, I now pronounce you.... 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1951 It started with the Paleo diet. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1952 What does a vow to 'kill the wabbit' mean? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1953 They both worked at Medieval Times when they met. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1954 I told them, stop trying to be trendy. Everybody's doing their honeymoon in Iceland. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1955 I now pronounce you husband and wife until the fat lady sings. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1956 If anyone knows why this couple should not marry, keep silent or bid this world farewell. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1957 You may now rub noses! 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1958 Remember, you two - it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1959 I'd forget that "I object" nonsense if I were you. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1960 “Throwback Thursdays are getting out of hand”. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1961 You may kiss the 'brúor' or 'kván' or whatever. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1962 So do you think that he'll carry her down the aisle on his shoulder or drag her by the hair after they cross swords? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1963 It's a compromise. She wanted a vintage dress. He wanted a Viking stove. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1964 They're taking that Paleo diet very seriously. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1965 I think they fired the wedding planner prematurely. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1966 They really went all in on the paleo diet 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
1967 I hear they are going to honeymoon in Valhalla! 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1968 It's a crossbow wedding. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1969 Feels more like 'speak now, or forever hold your piece. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1970 You may now cancel HBO 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1971 Hilda says all the phallic symbols are just for show, except hers. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1972 She did manage to talk him out of wearing that stylish nosepiece. 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
1973 And if anyone has an objection, speak now and prepare for combat or forever hold your peace. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1974 I know vows don't usually include so many pledges to 'spare no one,' but they wrote their own. So romantic. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1975 I knew I should have worn my loin cloth".... 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1976 I hope Kevin shows up. We need six to witness their consummation and I don't want to have to use the priest... 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1977 I think everyone's prepared to hold their peace. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1978 In Minnesota it isn't possible to be too rabid a fan of your NFL team. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1979 To have and to hold, for better or for worse, through plague and disease and invasion of Germanic hordes...till death do you part. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1980 Can you believe they were a perfect match on social media. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
1981 They’re storming a castle for their honeymoon. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1982 What village are they raiding for their honeymoon? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1983 Dearly be-hunted ... 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
1984 They see eye to eye on the important things. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1985 You should've been there when Freyja heard from Ragnhild and Halvor that Jormungand invited his ex Oddveig to the wedding. It was a complete nightmare. 1.2385 0.05514 109 91 10 8
1986 I'm having trouble following ... I don't understand Norse code. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1987 Well, they clearly are an 'old-fashioned love' kind of couple... 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1988 They met at the Lohengrin opera. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1989 When they bring out the sacrificial lamb just tell them I had to go pee. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1990 The third groomsman couldn’t make it. He died last week in the Battle of Oslo.” Robert Van Brocklin, Portland, Ore. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1991 Let's hope they don't have kids. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1992 When she tosses her sword, be careful how you catch it. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1993 I still say she's taking this paleo thing way too far." 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
1994 You may now slaughter the bride. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1995 Now you may keep the Bride 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
1996 She goes on the paleo diet, and next thing you know, she's Mrs. Zug. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1997 You know they didn't actually wear horned helmets. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1998 Personally, I'd rather be at a Viking funeral. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
1999 I'm predicting that this is going to be a combative relationship. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2000 You don’t want to know where they’re registered. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2001 This bouquet toss will not be pretty. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2002 She told me that they had bonded over a shared love for the Paleo diet, but this is taking things a bit too far... 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2003 6 to 1 he's dead by sunrise, eh? 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
2004 It all started with that Paleo diet. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2005 "And may you live happily ever after and be great in the sack." 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2006 I thought he was supposed to give her his sword AFTER the wedding. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2007 Hurry! The Vikings game starts in ten minutes!!! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2008 I’m so sorry - this is the Wilkes wedding. The cosplay convention is next week. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2009 Before we begin, has anyone seen the groom's double latte coffee cup? 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2010 Nah - he wouldn't hear of a 'best man.' 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2011 Is the breakfast Paleo too? 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2012 The honeymoon is going to be a Viking River Cruise. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2013 Wait till you see the paleo wedding cake. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2014 You know he's pillaged and plundered half the women in Europe. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2015 I think these theme weddings have gone too far. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2016 Always a bridesmaid, never a shield matron. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2017 Whose cave are going to live in? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2018 And to think it was a blind date. 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
2019 She's been dreaming about this day for literally 1,000 years. 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
2020 Alberich is nicer than he looks. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2021 I’m just glad she didn’t give up her sword! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2022 Her sword is mightier than his pen 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2023 They met on VDate. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2024 Why do you think the invitation said Red Wedding? 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2025 What happens in Vegas.... 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2026 How do you say vodka cranberry in Norse? 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2027 He looked a lot thinner on his Facebook page. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2028 At least she can wear hers for other occasions. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2029 When they said old fashion wedding, I thought they meant the 80's. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2030 The vacuum was pricey, but Aunt Carol got stuck with “blood of the enemy.” 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2031 God help him if he messes up a line. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2032 He just got a job in Minnesota. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2033 Dearly Beweaponed... 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2034 Warning! This sermon contains Game of Thrones spoilers. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2035 I love her shoes! They match her wedding dress perfectly. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2036 They'll be honeymooning along the coast of Normandy. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2037 I heard they're honeymooning at Lindisfarne. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2038 They met on the set of Games of Thrones. 1.2336 0.05568 107 90 9 8
2039 After they get the bill for this themed wedding, they are also going to be playing a lot of Game of Loans. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2040 There's a small problem. She has a seafood allergy. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2041 To be true to the theme, he should just throw her over his shoulder and head for his hut. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2042 Jerry’s 12% Swedish result from Ancestry.com and here we stand in these ridiculous outfits. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2043 The hip satchel REALLY doesn't go with her dress, it's such a primitive accessory. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2044 When I heard it was a Scandinavian theme, I thought they meant minimalist. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2045 You still want to do mazel tov? 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2046 And they met on the Viking River Cruise ship. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2047 Seems like only yesterday, they were Jedi Warriors. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2048 Is the tossing of the sword still traditional? 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2049 I get it— We all love the Vikings, but really? Purple bridesmaids dresses?! 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2050 Apparently he told her he was horny and she appreciated his honesty. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2051 I'm guessing they don't have a prenup. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2052 Diamonds are out, valyrian steel is in. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2053 It looks like they picked fish for dinner and we have a choice between spearfish and swordfish. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2054 Getting him here has been quite the saga. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2055 I heard the pre-nup covers pillage spoils. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2056 For better or for Norse…” 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2057 Through siege, plunder, and mayhem 'till death do you part. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2058 He’s rushing because there’s a Viking funeral next. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2059 One of them dies in the last episode " 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2060 Yes, he will obey. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2061 Was it the best man or maid of honor that was supposed to bring the side of beef? 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
2062 They pillaged their own vows. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2063 I give it until the 'sack and pillage' season. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2064 She dated a Great and a Good, but she chose Magnus the So-So. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2065 Be man and wife, united before God in heaven until Game of Throne's series finale do you part. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2066 They flipped a coin between The Vikings and Game of Thrones. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2067 Let's head straight to the open bar before it's pillaged. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2068 And they promise to pillage and sack till death do them part. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2069 No I didn’t meet her at a Pilates class. We met when we sacked his kingdom. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2070 ...as long as you both shall pillage. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2071 Don't worry, the bride switches the sword with a bouquet before the toss. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2072 They're really gung-ho on this Viking cruise honeymoon trip, huh? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2073 We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of...okay I can't pronounce either of your names, so why not we cut to the cake? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2074 Will you love, honor and equally share the spoils from pillage until death do you part? 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2075 Double or nothing, Anna, they’ll last for two years. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2076 The Best Man forgot the rings, so we’re waiting for him to plunder the village for a new pair. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2077 Another "conquest" for Magnus. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2078 Liv looks so cute as "Vi" and Ingmar so handsome as "King". 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2079 I introduced them at Comic Con. It was love at first LARP. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2080 She keeps calling him 'Hun'--it's a Baltimore thing." 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2081 I don’t know what she sees in Hagar. I think he’s horrible. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2082 If anyone here knows of a reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, let him stand and grunt now. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2083 It was love at first pillage. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2084 Speak now, or as I would highly recommend, forever hold your peace. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2085 Shotgun? What's a shotgun? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2086 I was there when she said yes to that dress. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2087 It's a match made in Valhalla - they're both 9-5 Barbarians. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2088 She may never see her village again, but at least she’s keeping her last name. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2089 Well, they did say it wasn’t going to be a shotgun wedding 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2090 Don’t you just love old-fashioned weddings? 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2091 They're into paleo but I'm not sure it's working for him. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2092 A match made in Valhalla. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2093 The minister is leaving out the "till death do you part" part. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2094 It was the only thing they could come up with when his tux wasn't delivered. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2095 I think the sword emphasizes the 'keep' part of the vows. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2096 They are so right for each other! I love their matching gowns! 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2097 I’m warning ya, don’t do Ancestry.com! 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2098 Do You Promise To Honor 'Game of Thrones' for as long as you both shall live? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2099 This isn’t the first troth he’s plighted 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2100 My Old Norse isn't so good, but I think he just said "I ate the third groomsman." 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2101 I tried to fix her up with my cousin, but she said he was kind of rough around the edges. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2102 He was her patient in the hospital, and he took a turn for the Norse. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2103 I’m gonna have Jourasic themed wedding 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2104 ...to love, honor, and cherish, as long as the ratings hold up... 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2105 Now you can fight the bride 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2106 She's obsessed with the "something old" part. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2107 None of them would dare claim to be the best man. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2108 On the hilt of her sword she promises, “To death be the penalty of your infidelity.” 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2109 I'm skipping the reception. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2110 "Do you take this woman? I mean seriously, with a manpurse" 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2111 They're planning on pillaging Iceland for their honeymoon. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2112 They are taking this paleo diet thing too far. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2113 I kinda wish they had never learned that they had so much Neanderthal DNA. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2114 Eric. Mrs. Red. I now pronounce you plunderer and plunderess. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2115 When they said "destination wedding", I didn't think they meant Mordor. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2116 Honeymoon plans were a cruise but Comic-Con is next week. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2117 I'm not sure why my sister asked me to be a bridesmaid. I mean, I've never watched an episode of "Game of Thrones." 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2118 I wish our dresses had fringe on the bottom too. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2119 The honeymoon is at a place called "Plunder & Pillage". 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2120 Aw! They're wearing what they wore when they first met. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2121 Did you order the paleo or the keto? 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2122 He make look imposing but pleeze... a fanny pack? He probably has never pillaged in his life. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2123 O.K. call in the Valkaries 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2124 They met on a Viking cruise ship! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2125 She's as horney as he is,but wouldn't be caught dead in that hat. 1.2286 0.04118 105 81 24 0
2126 I give it six generations. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2127 After the wedding you better be careful. Instead of a bouquet, she throws the sword, and instead of a garter, he throws the spear. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2128 Last week I was at a Viking funeral... 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2129 There's heritage and there's effin' whacko. Please tell me she did not just say 'Obey'. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2130 I give it a year before she realizes how horrible he is. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2131 He promised he’d get circumcised after the ceremony 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2132 Vlad's final conquest! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2133 As soon as the ceremony is over, we'll be hunting and gathering dinner. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2134 Their relationship goes way back. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2135 I have a sudden taste for a Danish. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2136 It seems like they dated forever. ! 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2137 After the ceremony we are going to pillage the Arnowitz reception. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2138 I didn't know Paleo was a fashion, too. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2139 Well, this IS her third marriage. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2140 The huge rock is making more sense. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2141 I know she was a Vikings fan even when she was young. But this? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2142 Someday they hope to get a throne of their own. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2143 Well it took a horse, two trains and a flux capacitor but here, in this state and time, you two can be married. 1.2286 0.05457 105 88 10 7
2144 Finding a dress wasn't a problem, wait till you see their registry 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2145 I plan to avoid her bouquet toss. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2146 They're both workaholics. For the honeymoon they're pillaging the South of France. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2147 I don’t think they break the glass at this one! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2148 She's the pillage to his plunder. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2149 And may you always rampage together for better or worse and richer or poorer. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2150 I didn't know this was what they meant when the invite said "black tie optional" 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2151 What’s this about Bifrost, Asgard and Odin. I thought this was an Episcopalian wedding. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2152 It's going to be a "tough go". She's descended from Greenland and he from Norway. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2153 Football nuts...they're Vikings fans. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2154 THESE VIKING FANS ARE GETTING RIDICULOUS. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2155 She said he got her rocks off. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2156 Do you know how long this is going to take? I've got a pillaging in an hour. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2157 They're a very progressive couple. She hit HIM over the head and dragged him here, but not before she made him sign a prenup. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2158 When they said that their 'Love of the Vikings' brought them together, I thought they meant football. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2159 Aren't they sweet? They met at the Bar Review course. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2160 At least she gave consent before he pillages. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2161 I think they met on "Survivor: Goth Edition." 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2162 Now cross your weapons, spit and say you bet. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2163 I must admit Ethel, I am excited for the true Viking buffet of putrefied shark, mead and puffin 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2164 I didn't expect them to settle down. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2165 For me, plundering and pillaging would have been dealbreakers. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2166 White was not an option. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2167 Congratulations . . . and now back to raping and pillaging. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2168 I understand that they met on-line. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2169 Will you accept this sword? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2170 I don't have cable... I've never even seen Game of Thrones 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2171 Are you going to the reception? I hear there'll be sword fighting. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2172 I am so not looking forward to the traditional tossing of the sword. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2173 We're rowing them to Maui for the honeymoon. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2174 You may now drag the bride to your lair by her hair. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2175 How do you think they afjord this? 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2176 They must be preparing for “til death do us part.” 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2177 Hers is by Olga Beste. His is a cheap imitation. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2178 Only second marriages can get away with this. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2179 Oriental Trading was having a 50% off sale. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2180 I see we're back on the Viking Cruise itinerary. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2181 Twice blessed, a marriage license AND a license for open carry, a match made in Valhalla. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2182 I remember she said, “wear your skins,” but I thought that was a Norse valediction. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2183 And now, if there are any guests here who object to this union - and have a death wish - I invite you to speak up at this time. For the rest of you, I recommend identifying the nearest exit - it may be behind you. 1.2286 0.05457 105 88 10 7
2184 It's a marriage made in Valhalla. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2185 It is just me or did he say' "you may now stab the bride?" 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2186 So I don't think it's anything you need to worry about, but I need to ask if anyone objects to you two marrying. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2187 Today we celebrate the Black Irish and Viking bloodlines in our DNA map... 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2188 They are going to honeymoon in Minnesota. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2189 I hope this one goes better then her Byzantine marriage. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2190 The reception theme is the sacking of Rome. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2191 You know what they say, Carol: Always a bridesmaid, never a warrior princess. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2192 These celebrity weddings are weird as fuck. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2193 My gift is those matching Gucci purses. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2194 So, who wears the pants in the relationship? 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2195 They wanted an older traditional Scandinavian wedding 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2196 They are really leaning into having dated wedding photos. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2197 At the reception dance onboard the ship, expect beer, fish and violence. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2198 I guess he was sacked. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2199 The bride slaughtered the thousand lambs for the reception herself. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2200 Get a load of the gown! Next time, say No To The Dress! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2201 Iceland has become a very hot honeymoon spot. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2202 I hear they're going on a siege of Rome for their honeymoon. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2203 His enemies decided on a slow painful death. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2204 We are giving them matching pelts. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2205 Place the Ring of Death on her finger and say the following: "Achk tychkty vlogh flvngyt ushkbt..." 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2206 "Helga told me they're going to exchange weapons." 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2207 This why I don't Internet date. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2208 What is her wedding planner trying to tell her? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2209 Do you promise to pillage and plunder till death due you part? 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2210 Amazon Prime screwed this order up, big time. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2211 The other stuff was good, but the pillaging sealed the deal! 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2212 The bride doesn't usually carry a weapon, but since this is her second marriage she thought she would carry the sword of Damocles. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2213 Right after the reception, they're going plundering. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2214 They met on Game of Thrones 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2215 I wish the new bride could throw us something else, like flowers or something. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2216 This is a wonderful match. They are both heavily into genealogy. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2217 I'm worried about the lack of vegetarian options at the reception. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2218 Am I terrible for thinking thinking more and more, 'America for Americans' " 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2219 I can’t believe she’s made us wear these ridiculous dresses 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2220 Can you believe they met on a Southwest flight to Des Moines? 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2221 There's a no-uxoricide clause in their prenup. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2222 Did he just say 'What God has joined together,go forth to pillage and plunder 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2223 I hear they're going to pillage the most adorable village for the honeymoon. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2224 Their registry was all plunder and burn. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2225 Ten to one Freydis turns Eric the Bloodaxe into Eric the Lapdog. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2226 When she said it would be a 'paleo' wedding, I thought she meant the food. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2227 It's a scandal. They're completely unrelated 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2228 I'm SO envious! I hear they're honeymooning in Vinland. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2229 They met on pillage.com.. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2230 Believe I will skip trying to catch the bouquet this time” 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2231 The sword is used by the rabbi at the bris. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2232 Well, I tried to put my foot down about this cosplay crap... 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2233 Did you know that their outfits are washable, made from Ultrasuede®️ 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2234 I think the ring purses really complete their outfits. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2235 I can’t believe she’s wearing hwit. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2236 I think she's going to hyphenate it. She'll be Helga Pillager-Impaler. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
2237 Always the bridesmaid, never the barbarian. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2238 It's outrageous... the bride going sleeveless this time of year. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2239 Do you take this women to be your wife? Yes I did, last week when I raided her father’s kingdom. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2240 Before him, she never even liked pillaging. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2241 Tomorrow this theme party is over, and I'm getting my money back for this dress. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2242 Kiss the bride before I call security. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2243 Actually, they're Vegan. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2244 Sorry, but I'm so over these legacy events. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2245 It's just part of the new all-Paleo lifestyle! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
2246 At the kiss, the preacher had better duck! 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2247 You are now Wed, begin the battle! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
2248 I'm just glad it's only a themed wedding, I can't afford another destination wedding 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
2249 Someone told me they had been binging Game of Thrones. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2250 Can’t wait to raid the buffet. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2251 Do you know how much money we could have saved on dresses? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2252 You’ll never guess what they’re doing for their honeymoon... 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2253 I heard they are going to Honeymoon along the coast of England. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2254 This really brings home the current affinity for Nordic socialism. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2255 You can almost feel the gotterdammerung! 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2256 If anyone knows any reason these two should not be wed... Best of luck. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2257 Before we start, the Theme Wedding thing stops as soon as the reception is over. Okay? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2258 I still don't understand why she chose Gog/Magog for her bridal collection. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2259 I hear they’re leaving the reception in an antique fjord. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2260 Okay, tie the cans to the back of the longboat! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2261 They have a pillage registry at Nordstrom. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2262 They were found holding hands in a block of ice when it was melted. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2263 I think the sword and the spear really make the outfit, don't you? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2264 You may kiss the barbarian 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2265 At least it isn’t a Viking funeral. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2266 I don’t know what she sees in him. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2267 Lace-up sandals? Fur tunics? FANNY packs?? SO passé... 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2268 Do you, Hagar the Horrible, take Olga the Terrible, in lawfully wedded combat? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2269 They met through the web, the dating site for corporate raiders. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2270 I heard that they meet on a cruise 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2271 Oh you said for better or worse NOT for better or norse. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2272 Hey, it's their day, but I refused to budge on the goat sacrifice. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2273 JDate, apparently. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2274 Where are they going for their honeymoon raid? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2275 Wanda, did the minister just say, "until death duel you part"? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2276 He worships her lutefisk and caper pâté. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2277 Hurry up! The time warp is almost over. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2278 I was going to object, but I forgot my battle axe in the car. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2279 Pardon me, Brunhilda and Magnus, but I'm thinking the part in here about "wives be submissive to your husbands" is not applicable to you two. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2280 Same thing she wore at her 1st wedding! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2281 I heard he slaughtered a village at the bachelor party 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2282 Actually, they don't need the weapons until after they're married. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2283 "The pre-nups just keep getting crazier." 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2284 He got his 23andMe results and they showed something like 0.1% Viking 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2285 The ritual isn’t complete until she blows the Gjallarhorn 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2286 No, he won’t be breaking a glass. Slaughtering a chicken together is more their thing. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2287 She carries the sword in the family. I’ll be taking her name. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2288 He plunders villages; she pillages treasure ships. It won’t last. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2289 I now pronounce you Fang and Claw. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2290 They met on Pininterest! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2291 Why did I have to buy this dress? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2292 At the first rehearsal, he tried to put the ring in her nose. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2293 Not to be a nag, but couldn't they've dressed up a little? 1.2243 0.05363 107 90 10 7
2294 Thjodhild told me that she and Erik are honeymooning to Greenland for 10 days on a Viking Ocean Cruise. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2295 They are registered at Pillaging and Beyond 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2296 Stick around, there's going to be pillaging after dinner. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2297 They took one of those new DNA ancestry tests. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2298 I love a formal wedding, don't you? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2299 I love these theme weddings. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2300 You may spear the bride. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2301 He and I used to date. Just think, it could have been me. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2302 I heard She-Throg insisted on a pre-nup; if Throg ever leaves her, she gets the whalebone jewelry, cask of grog, and the Volvo XC90 Hybrid SUV. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2303 They’re actually Sunday school teachers living it up. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2304 Wow, they're really holding fast to their old fashioned view of marriage. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2305 Do you promise to maraud, plunder, raid and pillage until you depart to Valhalla? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2306 Sooo... is the blood eagle scheduled before or after the cake? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2307 I’ve heard of a shotgun wedding but this is ridiculous.” 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2308 What's a shotgun? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2309 You'll know the wedding has ended when the fat lady sings. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2310 I’m so glad they found each other. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2311 Not yet. Consummation is later 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2312 You were right, a couple of neanderthals! 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2313 I can't see him forsaking the pillaging either. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2314 72nd generation Norwegians. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2315 I think they've got the "Til death do us part" down pat. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2316 This seal bone bra is really uncomfortable. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2317 Do you think she is wearing nylons? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2318 They say they want their wedding to “go viral”, whatever that means! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2319 To have and to hold, to hunt and to gather, in famine and in successful murder of goat family during fruitful harvest. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2320 They met on PillageAndPlunder.com. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2321 They forgot they're expected at the Met Gala right after this 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2322 And do you Helga, promise to Pillage and Plunder with Jeff until Valkyries collect your soul? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2323 Isn't this taking the paleo diet a bit too far? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2324 "She's much prettier than the last one he pillaged." 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2325 Don't tell anyone but I missed every episode. On purpose. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2326 They both just got their MBA's. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2327 I heard the mother-in-law is even more barbaric 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2328 She said they met at a raid and pillage. Is that a new restaurant uptown? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2329 What happens if she says 'I don't!' 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2330 I think they carry this ‘Game of Thrones’ thing a little too far. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2331 How much longer is this going to friggin take? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2332 Her first husband was an orthodontist. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2333 Wait until you see the Ring Bear. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2334 She kept pressuring him and he finally caved in. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2335 You just never know who you'll find on VikingsOnly.com! 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2336 Now I know why there were no steak knives on their registry. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2337 The catching of the bouquet will be especially brutal today. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2338 The "until death do you part" clause usually refers to natural causes. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2339 She read some online blog about "the couple that slays together, stays together." 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2340 And they're headed for a Norse divorce. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2341 The Paleo diet has some unexpected side effects. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2342 I decorated their old fjord with newlywed cans. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2343 I wasn’t sure it’d work out when he abducted her. But their relationship has really blossomed. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2344 Let's break tradition and not catch the garter. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2345 Their funerals are much more exciting. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2346 I'm sure they're gonna rune things. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2347 They're honeymooning in Vinland, wherever that is. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2348 I guess they want to remind us that the Wedding Gift Registry is for IKEA." 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2349 I told you they took Game of Thrones too seriously. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2350 A little ironic that the reading is from the Lindisfarne Gospels. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2351 He comes from a really old fashioned family. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2352 This is the 4th thrones wedding I've been to this year... 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2353 I hear they are moving to Greenland 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2354 This all just feels a bit archaic. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2355 I guess I'm not surprised Janine is taking Ivan the Terrible's last name. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2356 Could have told me it was fancy dress. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2357 He’s deaf as a post. She wanted a Village People theme. Instead, she gets Pillage People. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2358 It’ll last until a Vikings game airs opposite ‘Game of Thrones.’ 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2359 The weather’s just perfect. I guess sacrificing Roger to the Norse Gods paid off after all. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2360 She couldn't wear white, obviously, but the caveman get-up, really? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2361 I wouldn’t want to see him in the sack. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2362 I heard they’re gonna have dragons at the reception. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2363 I was in a Shakespeare themed wedding last summer too. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2364 She swears he's not horrible. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2365 These things are so antiquated. Who needs a priest to tell them they're more than just siblings? 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2366 I think `bliss' is out of the question. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2367 I heard they wanted a very traditional wedding 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2368 They built their own ship for their honeymoon. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2369 She's got it on backward. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2370 What’s in your wallet? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2371 Similar ceremonies. Similar vows, really, except for the "In Death we do pyre" part. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2372 Something better, something worse, something stylish, something Norse. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2373 We are gathered here today in the sight of Thor. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2374 This is taking 'something old' a little too far. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2375 I gave them the matching fanny packs. What did you get them? 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
2376 If they don't serve ale at our reception, I'm gonna go berserk! 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2377 The couple that raids together... 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2378 She needs to review that, "Death do us part" stuff. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2379 Before I begin, Mr.”The Red,” I must ask you, are you here on your own free will? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2380 Apparently he was tossed overboard. Sorry. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2381 I thought you had Der Ring! 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2382 Asgard is my witness, I've never seen a happier couple. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2383 They committed to everything paleo. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2384 Its part of the #Me Then movement. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2385 They met at a Game of Thrones fan club. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2386 I think we look more Scandinavian than Norwegian. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2387 Their pledge of faithfulness holds a bit of a threat, don't you think? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2388 Right? She always makes things difficult. I spent all that money on a dress I can never wear anywhere else. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2389 I was getting so tired of those DIY barn weddings. The thatched hut idea is so fresh. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2390 You OK with forever hold your piece? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2391 i hear they met while he was pillaging her town 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2392 He had her at a Knock Knock Viking joke. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2393 I hate to think what the honeymoon will be like. 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2394 Let the battle begin. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2395 I think they took this role playing thing a bit too far 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2396 Just remember, never catch the bouquet with your knife arm. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2397 I told her "do not tie your hair !" 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2398 This is why I don’t watch Game of Thrones. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2399 I think Madison has started taking this 23andMe thing just a little too far. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2400 I heard they met at last year's Pillage Frolic. It was love at first smite. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2401 I hate being underdressed. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2402 I'm not catching it, are you? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2403 Do you think their children will be raised in the Viking tradition? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2404 I think this is called “extreme paleo.” 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2405 We’re going to do some pillaging before the reception. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2406 They are going with the usual "love, honor, and pillage" oath. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2407 they have Viking funerals planned, too. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2408 I’m planning on pillaging the best man tonight. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2409 Maybe I should put Viking in my Tinder bio too. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2410 She's finally gonna make an honest hun outta him 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2411 I didn't expect such a traditional wedding . 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
2412 We'll have a choice between rack of wild boar and yak stew at the reception. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2413 I can't wait to pillage the open bar. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2414 I’m undecided about trying to catch her sword. 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2415 The first husband. Literally. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2416 We heard the reception is a "pillage and plunder" theme 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2417 Your first Game of Thrones Prequel wedding? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2418 The last time I saw Hagar he raped my sister and stole our horses. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2419 Spoiler alert: She’s going to say “yes.” 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2420 I hate that theme weddings are normal now. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2421 ‘And how are they going to bring up the children?’ 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2422 I guess she hasn't told him she a Packers fan. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2423 I'm telling you, Vikings didn't really wear horns! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2424 So...who wears the pants? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2425 That sword goes great with her gown. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2426 Well, he's no Thor. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2427 Don’t give up hope, Darlene. After all, we never thought Laura would find someone that shared her affinity for Viking culture. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2428 It would have been nice to get clued into the details of this Norwegian Destination Wedding. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2429 I heard he comes from the other side of the tracks. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2430 They kicked the third one out because he didn't have matching shoes. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2431 Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of Odin... 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2432 Ordering online from Viking Formals didn't strike me as wise either. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2433 He's not pagan, but he converted. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2434 It'll never last...he's Swedish. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2435 They met on the internet 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2436 I think Karen's taken the "Game of Thrones" theme a little over the top... 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2437 I can't wait to try the vegan seal meat alternative at the reception. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2438 Thor has some weird friends. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2439 Her sword isn't even real, Its silicone. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2440 That spat is going to be a doozy. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2441 I love Las Vegas weddings. Last week Batman and Catwoman married without knowing each other's real names! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2442 They've always been behind the times. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2443 This was the only church they hadn’t pillaged. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2444 Do you promise to pilfer together? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2445 She told me they wrote their own vows. The Old Norse is a bit of a surprise. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2446 So by the power invested in me, by Mike Zimmer, I now pronounce you disappointed Vikings fans. You may now dash your hopes. Go Vikes. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2447 Do you promise to always pillage and burn together? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2448 This is my first Game of Thrones Red Wedding. What will the reception be like? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2449 I give it two raiding seasons, max. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2450 I knew she wouldn't be wearing white. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2451 Do you Leif take Geisel to be your lawful partner in pillaging and plundering so long as one of you shall live 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2452 Did anyone tie tin cans to the swan from Asgard? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2453 Don’t you find it odd.. accessorizing with fannypacks at a wedding 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2454 Let's hope the bouquet is not a battle axe. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2455 The other Valkyries are flying in. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2456 Kill the wabbit...Kill the wabbit... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2457 I think she killed. Something old; those clothes, something new; her third husband, something borrowed; that broad sword, something blue; the color she'll turn when they celebrate their honeymoon in Norway. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2458 I prefer her dress to ours. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2459 This is my first throwback wedding. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2460 The costumes seem right somehow -- but the photos with the bridesmaids and groomsmen are going to look odd 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2461 Any idea why we’re all wearing red? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2462 I know that this is Viking Cruise Lines, but still, its a bit much. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2463 They really believe in being prepared. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2464 ...until death do you part... I'm guessing that's around 10 minutes. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2465 I give it 15 minutes... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2466 Aren't they beautiful, matching silver sword and spear?" 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2467 Buying him a subscription to Ancestry .com : wasn't the smartest thing she ever did . 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2468 They met on VikingMatch.com. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2469 Ok, now I understand the NordicTrack on their registry... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2470 You may now pillage together! 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2471 We should be so lucky. Finding a soul mate with the same sensibilities! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2472 She hasn't even buried her first husband yet! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2473 This shiksah converted for this schmendrick? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2474 They could have at least hinted at the theme. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2475 Classic pagans, always looking for a tax break 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2476 You know, her last husband was an ogre. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2477 I don’t watch Game of Thrones. How does this end? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2478 I hear an ABBA cover band will be playing at the reception." 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2479 And whoever catches it will never be asked, 'when are you getting married?' 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2480 I told you he's Jewish. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2481 ...to love, honor and pillage!? Really? 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
2482 When does he stomp on the glass? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2483 But isn't she his aunt? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2484 Now it's time to break the glass. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2485 The honeymoon should be quite the bang up. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2486 They'll stay together for better or Norse 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2487 Well, she always did say should would kill for that dress. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2488 I hear that at the reception, the guests will be pillaging the buffet at the Holiday Inn. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2489 If it doesn’t work out I bet she still keeps the sword. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2490 Given the reality of climate change, her ultimatum was a space capsule or Viking ship.” Catherine Burgess Somerville, M 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2491 Val, do you take Halla... 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2492 Instead of vows, they're planning on a fight to the death. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2493 Always a bridesmaid, never a brúðr, right? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2494 Kinsman to kinswoman will be true. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2495 They should travel back in time. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2496 Did he say,"For better or Norse?". 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2497 I give you this spear as a symbol of my love... 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2498 Yes, I believe that they've booked a cruise to Scotland for their honeymoon. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2499 I’m all for a themed wedding, but those fanny packs are tacky. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2500 Like I told her: if you’re gonna marry a caveman then forget the beautiful wedding dress. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2501 I heard there's a Village Spoils clause in the pre-nup. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2502 I think they've raised the bar for really old fashioned weddings. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2503 Don’t cry— It’s reassuring to now know there IS a soulmate somewhere for All of Us 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
2504 Yeah, he’s a superficial Democratic Socialist. Really into Nordic Models. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2505 Spoiler Alert - Game of Thrones. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2506 She always liked to be different 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2507 Last wedding I attended they were Tampa Bay Buccaneer fans. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2508 I thought you said "rustic?" 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2509 Holly runs the Facebook Punsters Asylum Group. Bud runs NRA's local chapter. It's the Right to Bare Arms theme. 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2510 These modern kids! Give me a good Bacchus wedding any day. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2511 Time travel is a new twist to Destination Weddings. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2512 I heard that the Bachelor party invaded Western Europe... 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2513 Have you tried their Paleo diet? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2514 I think they've gone overboard with their Paleo diet. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2515 When I told Sarah to venture out of her comfort zone, this isn't what I meant. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2516 When they said they were going for a vintage theme,I didn't think they meant this. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2517 It took them a long time to find each other. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2518 I give it a pillage and a sack. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2519 They have a gift registry at IKEA 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2520 ...I must say, though, that fanny-pack looks like it will come in handy 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2521 She would have done anything for a fur coat... 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2522 The groomsman on the right helped him discover America. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2523 The best ones are always taken. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2524 This wasn't what I imagined when she said they were planning a 'traditional Viking wedding'. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2525 I personally hate this Goth look. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2526 Tom Potter: "I was amazed they chose each other. They have nothing in common!" 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2527 Did he just say "WHEN death do us part" ? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2528 They plan to honeymoon in Hastings, after the battle. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2529 Seriously? He's going to share the whole story of how they met and fell in love? What a saga! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2530 My GOT... 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2531 It’s going to be a marauding honeymoon. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2532 Astrid and Lars recently found out, they're both descendants of Viking royalty." 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2533 Always a bridesmaid, never a kick-ass Norse Warrior Queen. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2534 I love these Viking weddings. The Viking funerals, not so much. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2535 I, Conan... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2536 Well, I still think he's a barbarian. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2537 They did say they wanted a vintage wedding theme. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2538 At least it’s not a shotgun wedding. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2539 I hear they’re spending the honeymoon on an ice floe. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
2540 In the eyes of Thor I pronounce you man and wife 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2541 With this Ring Cycle I thee wed. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2542 Be careful during the first dance 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2543 I don't think he's Jewish (Not the right sort of horns) 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2544 When they said "Destination Wedding", they didn't say the destination was 10th century Norway. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2545 He never did learn how to tie a bow tie 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2546 The best man is really hot. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2547 Can't imagine how they're going to pull off a vegan blood sacrifice. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2548 This sure beats an Irish wedding. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2549 "Always a Norse maid, never a Norse." 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2550 At the end of the ceremony they don't exchange rings, they exchange head-butts. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2551 I think she's actually starting to believe in the "Game of Thrones? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2552 What you get when Feminism marries Religious Freedom. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2553 I hear they met on a cruise. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2554 Vandal game in 45 minutes. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2555 They shouldn't have killed the third groomsman. It's going to ruin the symmetry of the photos after the ceremony. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2556 She always did go for the barbarians! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2557 Till death club you apart.... 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2558 I think they've taken this destination wedding theme a bit too far... 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2559 And do you Mr. Ericksson swear not to run off to discover North America, never to return! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2560 I still remember when they first met at the mascot tryout in Minnesota! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2561 They really got into the paleo diet when they were dating. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2562 She should have married a Lannister if you want my opinion 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2563 I hear the honeymoon is on a Viking Longboat. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2564 At least we know the funeral will be exciting.. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2565 Oh ... You don't have to tell me. I know hard it must have been to lash twenty wild boars to the barbecue spits, but finding eighty virgin rowers for the honey moon barge was a bitch. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2566 It’s a shame their parents could not make the wedding. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2567 I can't wait for the fremented whale blunder feast to start. How about you? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2568 I hear they're raiding Niagara Falls for the honeymoon. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2569 The honeymoon will be a North Sea Cruise to the British Isles. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2570 The impaled heads go on the groom’s side. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2571 Yeup, apparently they came straight from the Met ball! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2572 Dagmar finally landed a horny man. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2573 And you thought the coffee cup on Game if Thrones was an obvious anachronism! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2574 I hear they're going on a Viking cruise for their honeymoon. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2575 They both swear by the paleo diet. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2576 He left out the part about does anyone object to this union 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2577 ‘Til a floating funeral pyre at sea do we part 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2578 Their new house is stone age modern. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2579 These theme weddings are getting so old. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2580 Leave it to Steve and Barb to turn an elegant ceremony into a barbaric affair... 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2581 Always the bridesmaid, never the Brunhilda. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2582 Looks like they are well armed for marriage. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2583 His dick was bigger. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2584 ...and my last Unitarian wedding took only 29 minutes. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2585 I wish they'd hurry up. The parking outside Valhalla is crazy this time of day and boy, do I need a mead. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2586 Olaf is used to rape and plunder. Olga's sword says otherwise! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2587 This is a relief after her first marriage to that Neanderthal. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2588 She met him at a mammoth hunters re-enactment. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2589 As cosplay weddings go, this one’s pretty tame. But I hear the batchelor party was murder. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2590 Call me progressive, but do traditional weddings seem a little barbaric? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2591 This explains the dragon themed cake 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2592 Paleo diet. It's a lifestyle. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2593 I''m sure the reception will be a bit of a messy affair 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2594 Looks like they are forever going to hold their pieces. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2595 I would have gone with the smaller sword. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
2596 ...Barb says she met him at a Paleo diet retreat... 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2597 They impaled my groomsman. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2598 Did you notice her shoes? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2599 So you’re telling me, that caves these days are mortgage free? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2600 I understand they have signed up for a Pillage and Plunder Excursion at one of the Cruise Ship stops 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2601 Personally, I think this home DNA testing has gone way too far. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2602 It's my turn to catch the bouquet. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
2603 To be honest, this is my first cosplay wedding. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2604 Star Wars theme is so 2018. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
2605 "I swear the fur isn't fake!" 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2606 Oh gods, I bet they are going to go berserk tonight. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2607 Looks like your date didn't survive Thor's bachelor night game "Slay." 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
2608 Well, they did say it would be a traditional wedding. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2609 This is what happens when you book a wedding at the Valhalla Inn. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2610 The pastor agreed to do it if they promised to pay him with real money and not animal skins. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2611 I hear he got the ring from a dragon. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2612 Well, I always wondered what a Neanderthal marryng up would look like. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2613 I think we will be noticed more than that coffee cup 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2614 They both stabbed right. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2615 He didn’t have to work too hard to convert to cave man for her. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2616 They met on GRRRRRRR-inder. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2617 you may now exchange swords 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2618 She claims they met on a jaunt to New England, but I'm skeptical. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2619 He already took this wife. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2620 She's been waiting forever for him to come around! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2621 They're already dressed for their Viking cruise honeymoon! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2622 Oh, that's what she meant by saying he's good at "swordplay". 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2623 Sure there were women warriors, but Betty just thought the sword accessorizes so nicely with Jim's spear. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2624 The honeymoon is a cruise to Vinland 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2625 There are dating sites for everyone. Even marauders. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2626 He has no idea his bride is Brunhilda. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2627 Norse is the new white. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2628 I feel so out of place, is the bar open yet? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2629 We're just waiting on the Lord Of The Rings. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2630 That's cute. They're matching. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2631 Wow, what some people will do to save money. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2632 He converted...why do you ask? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2633 Kids today just don't want to dress up. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2634 I had to get dressed up for this? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2635 It's not "Just a dumb theme wedding". Didn't you hear they're raiding English monasteries for their honeymoon? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2636 I'm not a bit surprised, she's always talking about how 'cutting edge' they are. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2637 After he carries her out over his shoulder, I'm going to need a drink. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2638 Everything's so mundane right after the Met Gala. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2639 This is the third one of these I went to this month. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2640 The dinner's going to have brawls, pillaging, and an open bard. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2641 The honeymoon is to go out on a boat and light it on fire. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2642 No. I said plunder; it's not a dating app. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2643 Are they the ones that step on the glass and do the circle dance with the chair? Or are they the ones that do the blood sacrifice ritual? Can't keep it straight, I'm such a dummy! Also have you seen my dog? Freya said he was gonna be in the ceremony. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2644 luckily they are both Paleo so it's not a mixed marriage 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2645 They have so much in common. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2646 I think they are inappropriately dressed for this cartoon. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2647 That's a big rock. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2648 ... 'til rape and pillage do us part. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2649 You bet I was surprised. I was told it was a shotgun wedding. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2650 To have and to hold, to pillage and plunder... 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2651 I've heard of a viking funeral, but a viking wedding? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2652 I hear the ring is genuine runestone. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2653 ... and her sword's by Thor's of Fifth Avenue ... 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2654 This is my third mascot wedding this year. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2655 Do you take Astrid as your lawfully wed--" "Alright, let's skip the lawful bit. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2656 Well, they did meet at a Vikings game, and that's why they're taking each other for better or Norse. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2657 Love, honor and cherish? Give me a break! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2658 Winter is coming. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2659 Let's get ready to rumble. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2660 The honeymoon is a pillage through Spain and Portugal. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2661 With Viking weddings both sides start out armed for battle and give real meaning to the oath "until death do us part" . 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2662 The reception is at his Man Cave! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2663 I never knew there were Viking marriage ceremonies. I only heard of their burials. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2664 They really are two of a kind! 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2665 Never before had a Viking ever married a Flintstone. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2666 A 14 year engagement and this is the best they could do. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2667 She sings of Olaf, glad and BIG ... 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2668 I thought for sure he'd marry Brienne 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2669 - “Do you Anvorlaf take Slaugred to be your lawfully wedded barbarian?” 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2670 The Rains of Castamere is an interesting song choice. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2671 For a year I've heard nothing but 'Thor and Brunhilde, Thor and Brunhilde!' Now I see they're just an ordinary couple! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2672 I don’t get it. He always preferred blondes. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2673 I have to pee. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2674 Weddings feel so medieval nowadays. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2675 Did you hear? He invited his x. If I were him, I wouldn't close my eyes tonight. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2676 He's a Wildling, she's a lawyer. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2677 He went to Thor." 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2678 Martha, can you catch a sword? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2679 I'm not looking forward to the ten thousand year old wooly mammoth barbecue. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2680 They're heading right to a raid after the ceremony. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2681 They'll be a striking couple! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2682 And do you, Lars, take this wench as your prize? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2683 I heard the cake is more paleo than he is! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2684 I wonder what’s in their wallet 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2685 He pillaged the ring from his grandmother. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
2686 I thought this was supposed to be a funeral. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2687 They met on a river cruise. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2688 Between you and me, Hagar looks horrible. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2689 What's the expression; 'Forewarned is.....?" 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2690 Why? Because it's a viking tradition to die with you sword. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2691 I now pronounce you Viking and Ex-Gatherer. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2692 I hope Wotan there didn't forget the ring. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2693 Their honeymoon is in Greenland! 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
2694 "He proposed the day he saw her goring her ox." 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2695 Personally, I like the Bears! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2696 This Game of Thrones business has definitely gotten out of hand. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2697 I think I'll be passing on the bouquet toss. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2698 Will he break the glass or eat it? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2699 I don’t see this ending in divorce, do you? 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2700 My vegan husband was much more excited about the Gatherer's nuptials. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2701 They're taking a river cruise. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2702 Turns out "rapine" doesn't mean what I thought it did. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2703 I hate to see what kind of weapons they get for the divorce 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2704 This takes conversion to a whole new level. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2705 I just don't get it. She's as crazy about Game of Thrones as he is about Vikings. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2706 Damned Renaissance Fair! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2707 You should see where the reception is. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2708 I just love the traditional Carolingian weaponry." 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2709 It took a couple centuries to find the dress! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2710 They met on 23andMe. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2711 The honeymoon may be a short one!” 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2712 Okay. This is not forever, right? 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2713 The groom looks kinda horney. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2714 Interesting concept -- destination couple. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2715 Hey it's an incongruous situation viewed by people in middle aged attire -- I think we must be in a New Yorker cartoon! 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2716 They're honeymooning on Norwegian Cruise Lines. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2717 I knew this couple was living in the past. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2718 I guess nobody will crash this wedding 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
2719 I suppose the wedding cake will be some sort of mud pie. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2720 And to love and cherish till death in battle do us part. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2721 Erik and Hilda are wearing matching fannie packs... very chic. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
2722 I wonder if the third groomsman will taste like chicken? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
2723 He's Star Wars, she's Star Trek so they compromised on a Game of Thrones wedding. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
2724 Now repeat after me: With this sword, I thee wed. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
2725