These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2019-04-28T21:02:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2019-05-12T21:02:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2019-05-06T21:02:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | May 13, 2019 |
Number of captions | 7154 |
Number of responses | 1109788 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | I’m afraid we’ve found a problem with the Crown Jewels. | 2.2048 | 0.00698 | 12083 | 2576 | 4457 | 5050 |
1 | Worse than a cold. It's a common cold. | 2.2039 | 0.00660 | 12670 | 2470 | 5147 | 5053 |
2 | On the bright side, I've got some good news for the prince. | 2.0894 | 0.00760 | 10878 | 2976 | 3954 | 3948 |
3 | Under pre-existing conditions, why did you write 'Frog'? | 2.0700 | 0.00812 | 9956 | 2944 | 3371 | 3641 |
4 | Well lets just say Long live the King may be a bit on the optimistic side | 2.0646 | 0.00806 | 8834 | 2265 | 3733 | 2836 |
5 | Well, the good news is, it’s not just a pain in the ass; it’s a royal pain in the ass. | 2.0415 | 0.00748 | 11169 | 3270 | 4165 | 3734 |
6 | Experiencing any trouble on the throne? | 2.0409 | 0.00745 | 10913 | 3091 | 4285 | 3537 |
7 | Well, King Midas, you really shouldn’t have touched that area. | 1.9883 | 0.00778 | 10643 | 3488 | 3791 | 3364 |
8 | It’s not a king’s ransom, it’s your co-pay. | 1.9759 | 0.00772 | 10367 | 3329 | 3959 | 3079 |
9 | Yes, if you prefer, we can call them king crabs. | 1.9352 | 0.01339 | 3768 | 1403 | 1206 | 1159 |
10 | So you want to become a Queen? | 1.9318 | 0.00916 | 7835 | 2860 | 2649 | 2326 |
11 | This may be your kingdom but you’re out of our network | 1.9185 | 0.00893 | 7683 | 2694 | 2921 | 2068 |
12 | And come back if you have an insurrection that lasts longer than 4 hours. | 1.9165 | 0.00975 | 6814 | 2513 | 2357 | 1944 |
13 | The robe is supposed to open in the back. | 1.8921 | 0.00851 | 8393 | 3055 | 3189 | 2149 |
14 | You need to excersise. Try moving more than one square at a time. | 1.8836 | 0.00874 | 7956 | 2933 | 3016 | 2007 |
15 | It’s quite common among Middle Age men. | 1.8709 | 0.01066 | 5204 | 1919 | 2038 | 1247 |
16 | Have you ever experienced delusions of grandeur, Mr. Smith? | 1.8619 | 0.01000 | 6244 | 2439 | 2228 | 1577 |
17 | I said impotent not omnipotent. | 1.8538 | 0.01002 | 6012 | 2319 | 2253 | 1440 |
18 | No collusion but there may be an obstruction. | 1.8529 | 0.01041 | 5927 | 2404 | 1991 | 1532 |
19 | ... but first, what happened to the last doctor who ordered a colonoscopy? | 1.8514 | 0.00951 | 6682 | 2587 | 2501 | 1594 |
20 | You'll need to alert your past partners, including all the King's horses and all the King's men. | 1.8406 | 0.01224 | 4297 | 1781 | 1420 | 1096 |
21 | You've crossed off Anne as your emergency contact. | 1.8393 | 0.01103 | 5166 | 2106 | 1784 | 1276 |
22 | Well, the good news is we found your scepter. | 1.8385 | 0.01310 | 3666 | 1497 | 1264 | 905 |
23 | Is the royal pain in the usual place? | 1.8071 | 0.01187 | 4200 | 1725 | 1560 | 915 |
24 | Aside from beheadings, is there any other family history of surgery? | 1.8070 | 0.01075 | 5068 | 2068 | 1910 | 1090 |
25 | One of us has to tell the queen she also needs a penicillin shot. | 1.8040 | 0.01038 | 5617 | 2359 | 2000 | 1258 |
26 | Now we come to 'the Emperor has no clothes' part of the exam. | 1.8006 | 0.01107 | 4844 | 2018 | 1774 | 1052 |
27 | So you'd like a note stating you're the healthiest, most robust and powerful king that has ever reigned? | 1.7968 | 0.01258 | 3992 | 1748 | 1307 | 937 |
28 | Your blood work indicates that you are healthy and the court jester was your father. | 1.7870 | 0.01094 | 4985 | 2131 | 1785 | 1069 |
29 | If you prefer the Royal We... then We have the Clap. | 1.7718 | 0.01301 | 3716 | 1689 | 1186 | 841 |
30 | So, the drawbridge is stuck in the down-position? | 1.7632 | 0.01170 | 4304 | 1898 | 1527 | 879 |
31 | Ahhh, why yes, I have attended royal balls before. | 1.7591 | 0.01167 | 4412 | 1984 | 1507 | 921 |
32 | That’s OK. I’m not really a doctor. | 1.7513 | 0.01233 | 3880 | 1746 | 1353 | 781 |
33 | Is this your first winter of discontent?" | 1.7502 | 0.01107 | 4508 | 1949 | 1736 | 823 |
34 | Occupation? | 1.7496 | 0.01085 | 4900 | 2179 | 1769 | 952 |
35 | I say Long Live the King, but the test results don't. | 1.7360 | 0.01876 | 1523 | 662 | 601 | 260 |
36 | The good news is that your son will get that promotion he's always wanted. | 1.7210 | 0.01781 | 1731 | 784 | 646 | 301 |
37 | You're on the throne all day? | 1.7199 | 0.01516 | 2410 | 1099 | 887 | 424 |
38 | I understand, but on the form we can't list your blood type as "royal". | 1.7019 | 0.01388 | 2835 | 1322 | 1036 | 477 |
39 | Yes, four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie will cause acid reflux. | 1.6905 | 0.01485 | 2430 | 1143 | 896 | 391 |
40 | The blood pressure is manageable, it’s the four centuries of inbreeding I’m more concerned about.” | 1.6879 | 0.01447 | 2682 | 1302 | 915 | 465 |
41 | This time, Donald, we're gonna go with a real dementia test. | 1.6843 | 0.01948 | 1644 | 854 | 455 | 335 |
42 | I'm afraid "Your Highness" is how I would describe your blood pressure. | 1.6818 | 0.01986 | 1367 | 655 | 492 | 220 |
43 | I noticed under "Blood Type", you put blue. | 1.6798 | 0.03743 | 406 | 201 | 134 | 71 |
44 | I guess you could call it 'a Royal Pain in the Ass', but medically we call them hemmoroids. | 1.6746 | 0.01978 | 1426 | 705 | 480 | 241 |
45 | On the plus side, because you turned my exam table, two nurses, and an MRI machine into gold, I'll waive your deductible. | 1.6728 | 0.01582 | 2185 | 1072 | 756 | 357 |
46 | The good news is your son won't be out of work much longer. | 1.6614 | 0.01346 | 2832 | 1368 | 1055 | 409 |
47 | I'm afraid all our attempts have been feudal. | 1.6577 | 0.01882 | 1528 | 764 | 523 | 241 |
48 | I assure you it is the largest in all the land. | 1.6544 | 0.01902 | 1525 | 775 | 502 | 248 |
49 | You appear to be fit for a king. | 1.6542 | 0.02048 | 1281 | 642 | 440 | 199 |
50 | Your reign in Spain is mainly on the wane. | 1.6505 | 0.01886 | 1591 | 825 | 497 | 269 |
51 | I'm sorry to say you have a deviated scepter. | 1.6499 | 0.01298 | 3065 | 1515 | 1108 | 442 |
52 | No, sovereign immunity is not an alternative to vaccinations. | 1.6456 | 0.02453 | 951 | 500 | 288 | 163 |
53 | The treatment worked perfectly and all tests came back negative. I see no reason you shouldn't live long enough to be murdered by your heirs. | 1.6447 | 0.01902 | 1472 | 746 | 503 | 223 |
54 | I'm afraid DNA doesn't lie, but I can't say the same for the queen mother. | 1.6340 | 0.01712 | 1825 | 944 | 605 | 276 |
55 | Three and twenty blackbirds is not exactly cutting back, now is it? | 1.6312 | 0.01440 | 2462 | 1250 | 870 | 342 |
56 | You've experienced a major coronation. | 1.6298 | 0.01492 | 2496 | 1326 | 768 | 402 |
57 | I'm going to need you to give me a sample of the royal wee | 1.6254 | 0.01827 | 1639 | 870 | 513 | 256 |
58 | I've got to be honest, you're not exactly fit for a king. | 1.6218 | 0.01491 | 2245 | 1145 | 804 | 296 |
59 | No, not piles of gold. | 1.6144 | 0.01938 | 1429 | 765 | 450 | 214 |
60 | Okay then, 6’4 and 237 pounds. | 1.6137 | 0.01698 | 1921 | 1046 | 571 | 304 |
61 | Of course it's hereditary." | 1.6089 | 0.01703 | 1777 | 941 | 590 | 246 |
62 | I'm afraid I'm going to have to inspect the "crown jewels" this visit. | 1.6060 | 0.01761 | 1713 | 925 | 538 | 250 |
63 | When you say you've been spending too much time on "the throne", let's clarify things. | 1.6037 | 0.01717 | 1635 | 846 | 591 | 198 |
64 | It is actually "rosacea," but if you insist, let's go with "royal flush." | 1.6014 | 0.01761 | 1568 | 818 | 557 | 193 |
65 | Well, the bad news is you definitely have delusions of grandeur. The good news is that you're not Donald Trump. | 1.5957 | 0.02523 | 893 | 507 | 240 | 146 |
66 | It's very rare, but you have a royal flush. | 1.5955 | 0.02710 | 665 | 351 | 232 | 82 |
67 | It’s hemorrhoids, your highness — in layman’s terms, a royal pain in the ass. | 1.5938 | 0.01885 | 1413 | 758 | 471 | 184 |
68 | I’m afraid it looks like checkmate. | 1.5875 | 0.01973 | 1292 | 701 | 423 | 168 |
69 | I'm not saying you have to stop being the Burger King, but maybe be the Salad King every other day. | 1.5864 | 0.01894 | 1279 | 667 | 474 | 138 |
70 | You seem fit, for a king. | 1.5862 | 0.01964 | 1271 | 683 | 431 | 157 |
71 | If we do a colonoscopy, you'll need a royal flush the night before. | 1.5821 | 0.02064 | 1206 | 667 | 376 | 163 |
72 | Typical insurance runaround. They'll cover the bloodletting, but not the leeches. | 1.5811 | 0.02131 | 1122 | 619 | 354 | 149 |
73 | Technically, you were elected President, not King. | 1.5796 | 0.02204 | 1118 | 637 | 314 | 167 |
74 | It says here it hurts when you abdicate? | 1.5764 | 0.02208 | 1015 | 557 | 331 | 127 |
75 | For your colonoscopy prep I suggest the royal flush. | 1.5756 | 0.02191 | 1098 | 621 | 322 | 155 |
76 | Yes, your Highness, you may refer to my finger as Excalibur if it makes you feel better. | 1.5732 | 0.02239 | 1031 | 580 | 311 | 140 |
77 | You'll need an IV, then a V and a VI. | 1.5695 | 0.02319 | 978 | 558 | 283 | 137 |
78 | Yup, hemmoroids are aggravated bt too much time on the throne. | 1.5693 | 0.02323 | 1017 | 592 | 271 | 154 |
79 | We tend to see these symptoms in Middle Age men. | 1.5689 | 0.02372 | 856 | 470 | 285 | 101 |
80 | Well, you should tell Merlin that he should get tested too. | 1.5681 | 0.02339 | 977 | 563 | 273 | 141 |
81 | Yes, I was surprised to find out that’s where you hide the keys to the kingdom. | 1.5672 | 0.02303 | 982 | 560 | 287 | 135 |
82 | No sign of Gout, Porphyria or Syphilis. Are you sure you're royalty? | 1.5662 | 0.02304 | 959 | 542 | 291 | 126 |
83 | Your Royal Highness with all due respect, I think we both know how the scepter really got there. | 1.5623 | 0.02368 | 923 | 529 | 269 | 125 |
84 | I am sorry, the U.S. already has someone who thinks he is the king. | 1.5594 | 0.02533 | 867 | 516 | 217 | 134 |
85 | No, I'm afraid you can't get a servant to have the colonoscopy for you. | 1.5592 | 0.02461 | 819 | 463 | 254 | 102 |
86 | Have you tried all of your horses and all of your men? | 1.5591 | 0.02401 | 889 | 510 | 261 | 118 |
87 | OK....so how long have you been feeling this sense of entitlement? | 1.5582 | 0.02591 | 747 | 425 | 227 | 95 |
88 | I'm sorry, it's checkmate. | 1.5580 | 0.02536 | 758 | 426 | 241 | 91 |
89 | Your Majesty must be apprised that the royal prostate has achieved imperial proportions. | 1.5579 | 0.02379 | 846 | 472 | 276 | 98 |
90 | We found the paper gowns were just demoralizing. | 1.5571 | 0.02387 | 867 | 491 | 269 | 107 |
91 | The surgery went very well, your majesty, but the entire country still knows you as the queen. | 1.5550 | 0.02553 | 791 | 458 | 227 | 106 |
92 | It appears your condition is hereditary | 1.5519 | 0.02465 | 810 | 462 | 249 | 99 |
93 | I'm afraid there's still no cure for the onset of democracy | 1.5460 | 0.03773 | 359 | 210 | 102 | 47 |
94 | With this particular gland, "king-sized" isn't what we are looking for, your grace. | 1.5443 | 0.02597 | 733 | 424 | 219 | 90 |
95 | The good news is that it's in a most congenial spot. The bad news is that it will need to be lanced. But don't worry,Mr. Arthur, I lance a lot. | 1.5441 | 0.02934 | 612 | 364 | 163 | 85 |
96 | Your first sign should have been that your court taster didn't show up for work. | 1.5431 | 0.02610 | 731 | 425 | 215 | 91 |
97 | Try sleeping without the crown and see if your head feels less heavy. | 1.5388 | 0.02552 | 696 | 392 | 233 | 71 |
98 | You’ll need to eat some fruit for your constipation or have an enema... and we know a royal flush always beats two pears. | 1.5387 | 0.02800 | 698 | 426 | 168 | 104 |
99 | So you've only been able to move one square at a time? | 1.5380 | 0.02652 | 697 | 406 | 207 | 84 |
100 | It’s what we call a royal pain in the ass. | 1.5377 | 0.02576 | 690 | 391 | 227 | 72 |
101 | The tests show that you have a merry old soul. | 1.5372 | 0.02515 | 685 | 380 | 242 | 63 |
102 | Sorry for the bad news. I’m going to have to prescribe a Royal flush. | 1.5372 | 0.02687 | 685 | 401 | 200 | 84 |
103 | I have to be honest with you. There is no known cure for a royal pain in the ass. | 1.5367 | 0.02712 | 682 | 402 | 194 | 86 |
104 | I don’t care if it is “the royal wee,” it shouldn’t be that color. | 1.5364 | 0.02739 | 686 | 409 | 186 | 91 |
105 | You have Arthuritis | 1.5363 | 0.02701 | 675 | 395 | 198 | 82 |
106 | Yes, bones spurs... No crusades for you. | 1.5356 | 0.02769 | 661 | 392 | 184 | 85 |
107 | Says here your head started to feel uneasy in Part II, Act III, Scene I? | 1.5354 | 0.02709 | 650 | 376 | 200 | 74 |
108 | Well, Midas, you probably shouldn't have touched THAT. | 1.5345 | 0.02778 | 666 | 398 | 180 | 88 |
109 | Order of succession all worked out? | 1.5332 | 0.02556 | 647 | 358 | 233 | 56 |
110 | Yes, the crown too. | 1.5323 | 0.02730 | 635 | 368 | 196 | 71 |
111 | I prefer "proctologist," not "Royal Pain in the Ass." | 1.5321 | 0.02867 | 639 | 387 | 164 | 88 |
112 | Your dementia, Your Highness, is the greatest and best dementia that any king has ever had or will have. | 1.5312 | 0.02857 | 642 | 389 | 165 | 88 |
113 | You don't have to explain how the scepter got in there. | 1.5300 | 0.02679 | 634 | 363 | 206 | 65 |
114 | I'm afraid you already traded your kingdom for a horse, but we take all major credit cards." | 1.5291 | 0.02851 | 618 | 369 | 171 | 78 |
115 | Blue blood is a figure of speech your highness...believe me red is good | 1.5279 | 0.02646 | 610 | 342 | 214 | 54 |
116 | I'm afraid it's Arthur-itis. | 1.5274 | 0.03049 | 548 | 330 | 147 | 71 |
117 | Actually, blood isn't normally blue. | 1.5258 | 0.02756 | 601 | 347 | 192 | 62 |
118 | To give it a royal perspective : You’re heading to Kingdom Come . | 1.5245 | 0.02884 | 593 | 354 | 167 | 72 |
119 | While you call it a royal pain in the ass, we doctors call it hemorrhoids. | 1.5243 | 0.02859 | 597 | 355 | 171 | 71 |
120 | Last year you complained of delusions of grandeur. Any recurrence? | 1.5243 | 0.02810 | 597 | 350 | 181 | 66 |
121 | You're hopelessly fat,insane and your diet is a disaster. I'll prepare the usual excellent health report. | 1.5242 | 0.03235 | 454 | 267 | 136 | 51 |
122 | . . . and for your depression, I'm prescribing a jester. | 1.5226 | 0.02779 | 576 | 331 | 189 | 56 |
123 | No, I'm afraid giving me a pardon wouldn't help change my diagnosis. | 1.5217 | 0.02889 | 575 | 341 | 168 | 66 |
124 | It's more than a royal pain in the ass, it's hemorrhoids. | 1.5200 | 0.02900 | 575 | 343 | 165 | 67 |
125 | No, not 'crowns.' Crohn's. | 1.5199 | 0.03036 | 527 | 315 | 150 | 62 |
126 | I’m sorry you’re not covered. Blue Blood is a pre-existing condition. | 1.5195 | 0.02899 | 564 | 334 | 167 | 63 |
127 | Am I reading this correctly: you want to be Queen? | 1.5181 | 0.03078 | 554 | 343 | 135 | 76 |
128 | Delicately put, the crown jewels have lost their luster. | 1.5164 | 0.03894 | 335 | 205 | 87 | 43 |
129 | So about that "long live the king." | 1.5162 | 0.02982 | 554 | 335 | 152 | 67 |
130 | I have some troubling news about the royal jewels... | 1.5157 | 0.03102 | 541 | 335 | 133 | 73 |
131 | And where exactly is this royal pain? | 1.5157 | 0.03104 | 543 | 337 | 132 | 74 |
132 | Your Highness, I can state unequivocally that you are the healthiest person ever to serve as our king. | 1.5148 | 0.02959 | 540 | 322 | 158 | 60 |
133 | King-sized is not what you want in a tumor. | 1.5132 | 0.02977 | 530 | 316 | 156 | 58 |
134 | You can wear your own robe, but the opening still goes in back. | 1.5123 | 0.02965 | 527 | 313 | 158 | 56 |
135 | Try all the costumes you want Steve, you're not getting any more Vicodin. | 1.5118 | 0.03171 | 508 | 314 | 128 | 66 |
136 | You know We need to do a Royal Flush before the colonoscopy. | 1.5115 | 0.03151 | 520 | 323 | 128 | 69 |
137 | I’m sorry, you’re 95% peasant | 1.5114 | 0.03041 | 526 | 319 | 145 | 62 |
138 | Your condition is hereditary. | 1.5098 | 0.03234 | 510 | 322 | 116 | 72 |
139 | And how long has it been since your last Royal Flush? | 1.5098 | 0.03116 | 512 | 314 | 135 | 63 |
140 | The condition of your soul seems to have advanced from "Merry Old" to "Very Old." | 1.5098 | 0.03003 | 512 | 305 | 153 | 54 |
141 | We managed to pull the stone from your sword. | 1.5090 | 0.03154 | 501 | 308 | 131 | 62 |
142 | Have you considered replacing the throne with a stand up desk? | 1.5079 | 0.02932 | 504 | 294 | 164 | 46 |
143 | The bad news: you're backed up. The good news: with a colonic, a royal flush beats a full house. | 1.5070 | 0.03138 | 499 | 306 | 133 | 60 |
144 | Unfortunately, you're not fit for a king. | 1.5051 | 0.03102 | 487 | 294 | 140 | 53 |
145 | I have some good news -- for the prince. | 1.5051 | 0.03228 | 491 | 307 | 120 | 64 |
146 | Just take it one square at a time, and keep an eye out for any knights or bishops. | 1.5041 | 0.03056 | 482 | 287 | 147 | 48 |
147 | Tell me more about these knight terrors you've been experiencing. | 1.5031 | 0.03046 | 481 | 286 | 148 | 47 |
148 | You’re not very fit, for a king. | 1.5021 | 0.03180 | 468 | 285 | 131 | 52 |
149 | Well, they're similar, but ours open in the back. | 1.5011 | 0.03107 | 471 | 283 | 140 | 48 |
150 | You’ve got king crabs | 1.5000 | 0.03347 | 458 | 289 | 109 | 60 |
151 | I'm afraid you have a deviated scepter. | 1.5000 | 0.03216 | 458 | 280 | 127 | 51 |
152 | The tests confirm we need to end all of this 'long live the king' discussion. | 1.5000 | 0.03171 | 458 | 277 | 133 | 48 |
153 | For starters, you've got that on backwards. | 1.4989 | 0.03342 | 459 | 290 | 109 | 60 |
154 | Well Mr. President that’s because I’m a real doctor. | 1.4977 | 0.03427 | 444 | 283 | 101 | 60 |
155 | Unfortunately, you're the single payer. | 1.4971 | 0.03829 | 340 | 213 | 85 | 42 |
156 | Any family history of coronary events? | 1.4955 | 0.03284 | 448 | 278 | 118 | 52 |
157 | Your report shows no collusion or obstruction, but we did find a lot of delusion, confusion and obfuscation! | 1.4955 | 0.03433 | 448 | 288 | 98 | 62 |
158 | Alright, I’ll write “royal pain in the ass”. As long as you know it’s a hemorrhoid. | 1.4955 | 0.03284 | 448 | 278 | 118 | 52 |
159 | Good news: your blood is blue. Bad news: so's your urine. | 1.4944 | 0.03388 | 443 | 281 | 105 | 57 |
160 | Not so quick to get rid of Obamacare now, are we? | 1.4943 | 0.03396 | 439 | 278 | 105 | 56 |
161 | Before I give you my diagnosis, what did my late colleague say you have? | 1.4921 | 0.03930 | 315 | 197 | 81 | 37 |
162 | I’ve never seen this before, your blood is blue. | 1.4919 | 0.03222 | 433 | 263 | 127 | 43 |
163 | It’s time to disrobe so I can examine your Crown Jewels. | 1.4919 | 0.03400 | 433 | 274 | 105 | 54 |
164 | Unfortunately, there is no cure for chronic sense of entitlement. | 1.4918 | 0.03261 | 429 | 262 | 123 | 44 |
165 | The good news is you're the king. The bad news is the gout doesn't care. | 1.4907 | 0.03112 | 428 | 253 | 140 | 35 |
166 | You know the expression “King for a day”? That’s about what we’re looking at. | 1.4906 | 0.03289 | 424 | 260 | 120 | 44 |
167 | You are, actually, fit -- for a King. | 1.4903 | 0.03788 | 310 | 188 | 92 | 30 |
168 | You need to disrobe. | 1.4894 | 0.03243 | 423 | 257 | 125 | 41 |
169 | I'm sorry, Your Majesty. Sovereign immunity is a metaphor. You need a colonoscopy. | 1.4894 | 0.03378 | 423 | 265 | 109 | 49 |
170 | About this "Long Live the King". Let's talk about that. | 1.4894 | 0.03225 | 423 | 256 | 127 | 40 |
171 | Let's put it this way: Long Live the Queen! | 1.4891 | 0.03490 | 413 | 263 | 98 | 52 |
172 | I can't be the first the inform you that 'blue' is not a blood type. | 1.4891 | 0.03209 | 413 | 247 | 130 | 36 |
173 | It's funny you should say that, because I'm actually not a real doctor. | 1.4886 | 0.03555 | 395 | 251 | 95 | 49 |
174 | The good news is the bad news has been redacted. | 1.4882 | 0.03800 | 338 | 213 | 85 | 40 |
175 | You have a merry old soul, but your heart is shot. | 1.4880 | 0.03323 | 418 | 258 | 116 | 44 |
176 | Please stop calling it Our Prostate. | 1.4880 | 0.03264 | 416 | 253 | 123 | 40 |
177 | Sorry, I can't accept peasants as co-pay | 1.4877 | 0.03382 | 408 | 253 | 111 | 44 |
178 | Mr. Midas, you’re just going to have to stop touching it. | 1.4877 | 0.03539 | 408 | 262 | 93 | 53 |
179 | Your majesty, the genetics results show that you were once a frog! | 1.4866 | 0.03286 | 409 | 249 | 121 | 39 |
180 | For the next part of the exam, I will need you to put on your new clothes, Emperor. | 1.4864 | 0.03376 | 403 | 249 | 112 | 42 |
181 | Your cholesterol level is more "Burger King" than "Long live the King"... | 1.4864 | 0.03321 | 403 | 246 | 118 | 39 |
182 | It says here that you keep having delusions about being President of the United States. | 1.4852 | 0.03376 | 406 | 252 | 111 | 43 |
183 | It’s a common mistake. The robe is supposed to go the other way around. | 1.4851 | 0.03548 | 404 | 260 | 92 | 52 |
184 | So I've got some bad news about your "Crown Jewels". | 1.4838 | 0.03295 | 401 | 244 | 120 | 37 |
185 | So if I say you're the healthiest king ever, I won't get my head chopped off? | 1.4836 | 0.03541 | 397 | 254 | 94 | 49 |
186 | Well, I have to report that you've got serious health issues, but I suppose we can have William Barr write the cover letter. | 1.4832 | 0.03701 | 387 | 254 | 79 | 54 |
187 | Marty, your obsession with Game Of Thrones is concerning. | 1.4826 | 0.03234 | 373 | 219 | 128 | 26 |
188 | Do you promise not to kill the messenger? | 1.4821 | 0.03387 | 392 | 242 | 111 | 39 |
189 | And how long has it been since Your Highness last sat on the throne? | 1.4821 | 0.03368 | 392 | 241 | 113 | 38 |
190 | No, it’s not your nuts, it’s “You’re nuts.” | 1.4821 | 0.03593 | 392 | 253 | 89 | 50 |
191 | At what point did it become a "royal" pain in the ass? | 1.4791 | 0.03451 | 382 | 238 | 105 | 39 |
192 | The good news: You are covered under single payer insurance. Unfortunately, you are the single payer. | 1.4791 | 0.03530 | 382 | 242 | 97 | 43 |
193 | You're fit for a king. | 1.4787 | 0.03388 | 376 | 230 | 112 | 34 |
194 | Your teeth look fine, but we're gonna have to replace that crown. | 1.4787 | 0.03450 | 376 | 233 | 106 | 37 |
195 | I'm thinking narcissistic personality disorder or simply poor wardrobe choices. | 1.4779 | 0.03431 | 385 | 240 | 106 | 39 |
196 | And exactly where did you say you have this 'Royal Pain'? | 1.4776 | 0.03019 | 379 | 216 | 145 | 18 |
197 | You’re going to need to notify everyone who’s come in contact with your royal jewels. | 1.4758 | 0.03518 | 372 | 234 | 99 | 39 |
198 | I'd like to help but I see your insurance expired in 1534. | 1.4758 | 0.03559 | 372 | 236 | 95 | 41 |
199 | Your results are back. I'm afraid it's checkmate. | 1.4757 | 0.03552 | 370 | 234 | 96 | 40 |
200 | I'm going to have to ask you to disrobe. | 1.4754 | 0.03914 | 305 | 193 | 79 | 33 |
201 | Bad news your majesty it's the common cold. | 1.4743 | 0.03257 | 369 | 220 | 123 | 26 |
202 | You need to try and relax. I'm sure this democracy thing is just a fad. | 1.4740 | 0.03416 | 365 | 224 | 109 | 32 |
203 | It seems you suffer from a sense of entitlement. | 1.4740 | 0.03481 | 365 | 227 | 103 | 35 |
204 | You need to stay away from Burgers, King. | 1.4740 | 0.03459 | 365 | 226 | 105 | 34 |
205 | How should I put this? Short live the king. | 1.4740 | 0.03671 | 365 | 236 | 85 | 44 |
206 | Your DNA results came back 75% Peasant. | 1.4740 | 0.03588 | 365 | 232 | 93 | 40 |
207 | The radiologist’s report indicates the bowel obstruction appears to caused by... huh?... ingested blackbirds, as many as two dozen. | 1.4735 | 0.03478 | 359 | 222 | 104 | 33 |
208 | The technical name is hemorrhoids, but in your case I think we can call them a royal pain in the ass. | 1.4725 | 0.03466 | 364 | 226 | 104 | 34 |
209 | Actually, Your Majesty will be the one bowing today. | 1.4722 | 0.03750 | 360 | 236 | 78 | 46 |
210 | The royal highness of your cholesterol concerns me. | 1.4706 | 0.03646 | 357 | 229 | 88 | 40 |
211 | It's supposed to stink. | 1.4697 | 0.03790 | 347 | 227 | 77 | 43 |
212 | Uh, ok. We usually say hemmorrhoids, but royal pain in the ass really works in your case. | 1.4688 | 0.03549 | 352 | 221 | 97 | 34 |
213 | Yes, you could have the radiologist executed but it won't change your diagnosis | 1.4688 | 0.03706 | 352 | 228 | 83 | 41 |
214 | We found your scepter | 1.4688 | 0.03662 | 352 | 226 | 87 | 39 |
215 | You may be suffering from delusions of grandeur. | 1.4688 | 0.03549 | 352 | 221 | 97 | 34 |
216 | I assume you wouldn't be interested in a revolutionary new treatment. | 1.4688 | 0.04893 | 192 | 122 | 50 | 20 |
217 | You're healthy enough to survive another round of intrigue and backstabbing. | 1.4684 | 0.03389 | 348 | 211 | 111 | 26 |
218 | I have bad news. Your condition is hereditary. | 1.4677 | 0.04115 | 248 | 153 | 74 | 21 |
219 | Let's not refer to the colonoscopy as a royal flush. | 1.4674 | 0.03632 | 353 | 226 | 89 | 38 |
220 | You should still be able to move in all directions, but I'm afraid it's gonna be only one step at a time. | 1.4665 | 0.03520 | 343 | 213 | 100 | 30 |
221 | Were your mother and father possibly first cousins? | 1.4665 | 0.03616 | 343 | 217 | 92 | 34 |
222 | If I may be frank, you should have kept your sword sheathed. | 1.4665 | 0.03663 | 343 | 219 | 88 | 36 |
223 | I'm sorry your majesty, but I'm afraid it's checkmate. | 1.4665 | 0.03755 | 343 | 223 | 80 | 40 |
224 | I'm sorry to tell you, but you only have VIII months to live, possibly IX. | 1.4663 | 0.03486 | 341 | 210 | 103 | 28 |
225 | These test results are astonishingly excellent. You are, unequivocally, the healthiest king in the history of the monarchy. | 1.4663 | 0.03702 | 341 | 219 | 85 | 37 |
226 | I should also check your mate... | 1.4655 | 0.03964 | 275 | 172 | 78 | 25 |
227 | I'm afraid it's Crown's Disease. | 1.4645 | 0.03431 | 338 | 206 | 107 | 25 |
228 | This “royal pain”... does it itch? | 1.4645 | 0.03606 | 338 | 213 | 93 | 32 |
229 | Uh . . . you know that expression, "Long live the King . . . ?" | 1.4633 | 0.03460 | 341 | 210 | 104 | 27 |
230 | Colonoscopies are performed in the dungeons, by the royal inquisitor, but we may ask the royal buffoon for a visual inspection. | 1.4627 | 0.03399 | 335 | 203 | 109 | 23 |
231 | At your age, your majesty, I would just leave the sword in the stone. | 1.4625 | 0.03594 | 333 | 209 | 94 | 30 |
232 | And I like to pretend that I'm a doctor. | 1.4625 | 0.03766 | 333 | 216 | 80 | 37 |
233 | Any chance your parents were brother and sister? | 1.4625 | 0.03742 | 333 | 215 | 82 | 36 |
234 | You have a weak constitution. | 1.4625 | 0.03668 | 333 | 212 | 88 | 33 |
235 | Your blood results are back. It's blue. | 1.4625 | 0.03668 | 333 | 212 | 88 | 33 |
236 | The results indicate success. No, sorry. Read that wrong. ‘Succession.’ | 1.4625 | 0.03790 | 333 | 217 | 78 | 38 |
237 | Do you want the truth or the redacted report?" | 1.4622 | 0.03684 | 331 | 211 | 87 | 33 |
238 | You need to give up your pipe and your bowl, but you can keep the fiddlers three. | 1.4622 | 0.03634 | 331 | 209 | 91 | 31 |
239 | It says here you were beaten by two queens. | 1.4622 | 0.03734 | 331 | 213 | 83 | 35 |
240 | I performed Humpty's autopsy. Your horses and men are hacks. | 1.4622 | 0.03558 | 331 | 206 | 97 | 28 |
241 | I’d say you’ve got a classic case of affluenza. | 1.4622 | 0.03427 | 331 | 201 | 107 | 23 |
242 | Difficulty "wielding the sceptre" is quite common for a monarch your age. | 1.4622 | 0.03684 | 331 | 211 | 87 | 33 |
243 | But is it the highest cholesterol in all the land? | 1.4622 | 0.03709 | 331 | 212 | 85 | 34 |
244 | Tell me, Mr. President. How long have you felt like this? | 1.4620 | 0.03799 | 329 | 214 | 78 | 37 |
245 | I recommend a royal flush. | 1.4610 | 0.03989 | 282 | 180 | 74 | 28 |
246 | Do you need a note for work? | 1.4601 | 0.03825 | 326 | 213 | 76 | 37 |
247 | Discontinue pipe. Discontinue bowl. Increase fiddlers to four. | 1.4599 | 0.03817 | 324 | 211 | 77 | 36 |
248 | It’s your Royal Heinie your Royal Highness. | 1.4599 | 0.03558 | 324 | 201 | 97 | 26 |
249 | Have you conquered a West African country in the past 21 days? | 1.4599 | 0.03792 | 324 | 210 | 79 | 35 |
250 | Yes, your highness, hemorrhoids are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.4590 | 0.03774 | 329 | 214 | 79 | 36 |
251 | I don't think having one of your subjects get the colonoscopy will help. | 1.4590 | 0.03700 | 329 | 211 | 85 | 33 |
252 | Well, the "fewer treats" is for your health; the "fewer tweets" is for ours. | 1.4585 | 0.04649 | 229 | 152 | 49 | 28 |
253 | You're in remarkably good health for an anachronism. | 1.4579 | 0.03661 | 321 | 203 | 89 | 29 |
254 | Sir, for the last time, God cannot be your emergency contact. | 1.4577 | 0.03650 | 319 | 201 | 90 | 28 |
255 | No, Sire, not the COMMON cold. | 1.4577 | 0.03704 | 319 | 203 | 86 | 30 |
256 | So you want me to say that you are the “healthiest individual ever to be king?” | 1.4577 | 0.04035 | 319 | 216 | 60 | 43 |
257 | The good news is you're king. The bad news is . . . for a day. | 1.4577 | 0.03783 | 319 | 206 | 80 | 33 |
258 | I'm afraid the term "Sire" is no longer altogether appropriate. | 1.4577 | 0.03757 | 319 | 205 | 82 | 32 |
259 | You have a royal flush | 1.4574 | 0.03556 | 317 | 196 | 97 | 24 |
260 | The last time I allowed the patient to write his own report I was working for a President. | 1.4554 | 0.03843 | 303 | 195 | 78 | 30 |
261 | And here's your redacted copy of my evaluation. | 1.4551 | 0.03844 | 312 | 203 | 76 | 33 |
262 | Not omnipotent, George --impotent. | 1.4551 | 0.03763 | 312 | 200 | 82 | 30 |
263 | Have you noticed any difficulty in making a decree, an increased frequency of decreeing, or the need to decree in the middle of the night? | 1.4551 | 0.04027 | 312 | 210 | 62 | 40 |
264 | After all these years, you want to go back to being a frog? | 1.4551 | 0.03763 | 312 | 200 | 82 | 30 |
265 | Your food taster has diabetes. | 1.4548 | 0.03752 | 310 | 198 | 83 | 29 |
266 | This petition from your food taster to take your colonoscopy prep for you appears to be in your handwriting. | 1.4537 | 0.03808 | 313 | 203 | 78 | 32 |
267 | You have an enlarged whopper. | 1.4525 | 0.04016 | 305 | 204 | 64 | 37 |
268 | The bad news is, “Long live the Queen.” | 1.4521 | 0.03981 | 303 | 201 | 67 | 35 |
269 | The robe is supposed to open to the rear. | 1.4521 | 0.03726 | 303 | 192 | 85 | 26 |
270 | I'm afraid it's just a royal pain in the ass. | 1.4521 | 0.03898 | 303 | 198 | 73 | 32 |
271 | Just remind me - who died and made you King? | 1.4518 | 0.04578 | 228 | 151 | 51 | 26 |
272 | Did you say that you are, or that you have, a royal pain in the ass? | 1.4516 | 0.03779 | 310 | 200 | 80 | 30 |
273 | The good news is, your son's about to get a promotion. | 1.4503 | 0.03584 | 302 | 187 | 94 | 21 |
274 | Mister President, between us, you are obese with oncoming Alzheimer's, but obviously the fittest man ever to rule. | 1.4503 | 0.04072 | 302 | 204 | 60 | 38 |
275 | I have teenage stepchildren, your Majesty. Royal pains are my specialty. | 1.4503 | 0.03991 | 302 | 201 | 66 | 35 |
276 | This is quite the family history. | 1.4503 | 0.03734 | 302 | 192 | 84 | 26 |
277 | Removing the orb is no problem, it's the scepter that concerns me. | 1.4503 | 0.03645 | 302 | 189 | 90 | 23 |
278 | I see that you marked "royal" as your blood type. | 1.4503 | 0.03822 | 302 | 195 | 78 | 29 |
279 | So when I refer to "your highness," I am speaking of your blood pressure for which we would like some lowness. | 1.4497 | 0.03858 | 298 | 193 | 76 | 29 |
280 | You need to give up your pipe and your bowl. Fiddlers are okay. | 1.4488 | 0.03840 | 303 | 197 | 76 | 30 |
281 | You're in pretty good shape for a king your age, but you still shouldn't be eating 4 and 20 of anything, even if it is a tasty dish | 1.4488 | 0.03451 | 303 | 184 | 102 | 17 |
282 | Well, you still have a merry old soul, but we need to talk about your liver. | 1.4488 | 0.03783 | 303 | 195 | 80 | 28 |
283 | The diagnosis may come as a surprise but you’re a queen. | 1.4485 | 0.04220 | 272 | 182 | 58 | 32 |
284 | Well, if you’re sure want the good news first...You’re the king. | 1.4475 | 0.04060 | 295 | 198 | 62 | 35 |
285 | I must say, you're certainly fit for a king. | 1.4464 | 0.04034 | 289 | 192 | 65 | 32 |
286 | Please disrobe, but you can keep the crown on if it makes you feel more comfortable | 1.4464 | 0.03691 | 289 | 181 | 87 | 21 |
287 | So, you want something to enhance your crown jewels? | 1.4459 | 0.03875 | 296 | 193 | 74 | 29 |
288 | Well, your temperature is elevated and your face is red. Believe me, it's nothing more than a Royal Flush. | 1.4459 | 0.03875 | 296 | 193 | 74 | 29 |
289 | Tests show your ego is slightly elevated. | 1.4459 | 0.03694 | 296 | 187 | 86 | 23 |
290 | I think it's safe to say that you inherited this. | 1.4444 | 0.03633 | 288 | 179 | 90 | 19 |
291 | The tests reveal you are royally screwed. | 1.4444 | 0.03922 | 288 | 188 | 72 | 28 |
292 | Let's talk about Schizophrenia, Mr. Trump... | 1.4444 | 0.04304 | 288 | 201 | 46 | 41 |
293 | Better start prepping the prince... | 1.4444 | 0.03859 | 288 | 186 | 76 | 26 |
294 | King Arthur? I'm Dr. Lancelot. | 1.4444 | 0.03796 | 288 | 184 | 80 | 24 |
295 | Family history of beheading... poisoning... garroting. Good news. You're unlikely to suffer from heart disease or cancer. | 1.4441 | 0.04003 | 286 | 189 | 67 | 30 |
296 | So, how long have you been having trouble getting your 'little peasant' to stage an uprising? | 1.4441 | 0.04033 | 286 | 190 | 65 | 31 |
297 | Was it you, or the nurse, who put "royal pain in the ass" on your intake form? | 1.4433 | 0.04044 | 282 | 187 | 65 | 30 |
298 | The bowl and the fiddlers are fine, but the pipe has to go. | 1.4433 | 0.04013 | 282 | 186 | 67 | 29 |
299 | Think of the colonoscopy as a royal flush. | 1.4413 | 0.03958 | 281 | 184 | 70 | 27 |
300 | Well, 'Long live the King' is actually just an expression. | 1.4413 | 0.03894 | 281 | 182 | 74 | 25 |
301 | The bowl and the fiddlers three are fine, but I urge you to stop calling for your pipe. | 1.4409 | 0.03847 | 279 | 179 | 77 | 23 |
302 | Well if Mr. Trump can claim to be 6’-3”, I don’t see any harm in calling you a 12-inch ruler.. | 1.4403 | 0.04062 | 268 | 176 | 66 | 26 |
303 | We share the same delusion -- I think you're the King too. | 1.4397 | 0.03817 | 282 | 181 | 78 | 23 |
304 | Well King Midas, It Looks Like Your Prostate Is As Good As Gold. | 1.4397 | 0.03915 | 282 | 184 | 72 | 26 |
305 | Knight terrors are pretty common for a man of your age. | 1.4397 | 0.03683 | 282 | 177 | 86 | 19 |
306 | Great news for your eldest... | 1.4397 | 0.03915 | 282 | 184 | 72 | 26 |
307 | Your delusions of grandeur seem only to be getting worse, Mr. Jones. | 1.4380 | 0.03929 | 274 | 178 | 72 | 24 |
308 | Omnipotence happens to a lot of kings your age | 1.4380 | 0.04062 | 274 | 182 | 64 | 28 |
309 | 'So the last thing you remember is asking for a horse?' | 1.4380 | 0.03929 | 274 | 178 | 72 | 24 |
310 | So, lemme get this straight. You touched it and now it's gold? | 1.4380 | 0.03860 | 274 | 176 | 76 | 22 |
311 | I'm afraid it's a little late for "Long live the king". | 1.4380 | 0.03825 | 274 | 175 | 78 | 21 |
312 | You may want to change that phrase 'Long Live the King.' | 1.4380 | 0.03894 | 274 | 177 | 74 | 23 |
313 | For your information the insurance companies are king. | 1.4380 | 0.04192 | 274 | 186 | 56 | 32 |
314 | I see the last time you visited us you were Buffalo Bill. | 1.4380 | 0.03996 | 274 | 180 | 68 | 26 |
315 | I’m happy to report your reign in pain is mainly just a sprain | 1.4380 | 0.04095 | 274 | 183 | 62 | 29 |
316 | No, I’m Dr. Lewis. You had Dr. Halpern beheaded, remember? | 1.4375 | 0.03983 | 272 | 178 | 69 | 25 |
317 | So when was the last time you performed your ‘royal duties’? | 1.4375 | 0.03983 | 272 | 178 | 69 | 25 |
318 | Watching what you eat is important, but your food taster's charts are giving me some concerns. | 1.4375 | 0.03664 | 272 | 169 | 87 | 16 |
319 | I don’t care if you are the king, I still need your insurance card. | 1.4375 | 0.03949 | 272 | 177 | 71 | 24 |
320 | You can still be a merry old soul and keep the fiddlers three but I think it’s time you give up the pipe. | 1.4375 | 0.03626 | 272 | 168 | 89 | 15 |
321 | Would your Majesty deign to ascend the throne and provide us with a sample? | 1.4375 | 0.03879 | 272 | 175 | 75 | 22 |
322 | Your family history looks identical on both your mother and father’s side. Did I get that right? | 1.4375 | 0.04017 | 272 | 179 | 67 | 26 |
323 | You're not that fit for a king. | 1.4366 | 0.04060 | 268 | 177 | 65 | 26 |
324 | I appreciate that you want to wear your own robe, but I'm still going to need the opening in the back. | 1.4366 | 0.04128 | 268 | 179 | 61 | 28 |
325 | These results are actually quite good, considering the inbreeding. | 1.4366 | 0.03955 | 268 | 174 | 71 | 23 |
326 | To be perfectly honest, you are royally screwed | 1.4366 | 0.04025 | 268 | 176 | 67 | 25 |
327 | There's no easy way to put this; you're royally screwed. | 1.4366 | 0.04228 | 268 | 182 | 55 | 31 |
328 | Have you given any thought to succession planning? | 1.4366 | 0.03661 | 268 | 166 | 87 | 15 |
329 | And you have no idea how that scepter got up there? | 1.4366 | 0.04195 | 268 | 181 | 57 | 30 |
330 | You need to change your diet. You’ve had your last burger, King. | 1.4366 | 0.03774 | 268 | 169 | 81 | 18 |
331 | Calling for your fiddlers three—and even your bowl—is OK. But forget the pipe. | 1.4364 | 0.03780 | 275 | 175 | 80 | 20 |
332 | I’m sorry to tell you that “long live the King” is just a saying and is not always the case. | 1.4346 | 0.03928 | 260 | 167 | 73 | 20 |
333 | Before we go any further, you've got that on backward. | 1.4346 | 0.04289 | 260 | 177 | 53 | 30 |
334 | We're going to need that crown to cover this bill. | 1.4345 | 0.03630 | 267 | 165 | 88 | 14 |
335 | You're a fat senile ruler with no heart. Enjoy your trip. Americans will love you. | 1.4345 | 0.04172 | 267 | 180 | 58 | 29 |
336 | Alright, what did you touch this time, Midas? | 1.4345 | 0.03928 | 267 | 173 | 72 | 22 |
337 | well Sire,we'll have to see those family jewels. | 1.4345 | 0.04034 | 267 | 176 | 66 | 25 |
338 | I can lie about your weight and claim you'll live to be two hundred, but nobody's going to believe you're smarter than a toddler. | 1.4345 | 0.04305 | 267 | 184 | 50 | 33 |
339 | OK, I'll put your weight as 239 pounds. What else do you want this to say? | 1.4345 | 0.04337 | 267 | 185 | 48 | 34 |
340 | I have only seen one individual with a more advanced case of narcissism than you Mr. Brown. | 1.4345 | 0.04069 | 267 | 177 | 64 | 26 |
341 | It's definite. You have a royal flush. | 1.4345 | 0.04205 | 267 | 181 | 56 | 30 |
342 | This prescription for a pipe, a bowl, and fiddlers three should get you to back to your merry old self right away. | 1.4345 | 0.04172 | 267 | 180 | 58 | 29 |
343 | Sir, that’s not what I meant when I said change into your robe. | 1.4335 | 0.04113 | 263 | 175 | 62 | 26 |
344 | I'm sorry, but I'm afraid your cold is indeed quite common. | 1.4330 | 0.04494 | 194 | 124 | 56 | 14 |
345 | I afraid being the burger king has finally caught up to you. | 1.4330 | 0.04064 | 261 | 172 | 65 | 24 |
346 | Now may be a good time to exercise your divine rights. | 1.4330 | 0.04136 | 261 | 174 | 61 | 26 |
347 | The bad news is, your DNA shows you are not the King. | 1.4325 | 0.04353 | 252 | 172 | 51 | 29 |
348 | It's Crown's disease. | 1.4323 | 0.04009 | 266 | 175 | 67 | 24 |
349 | Unfortunately, sovereign immunity doesn’t cover this. | 1.4323 | 0.04009 | 266 | 175 | 67 | 24 |
350 | I'm afraid you will have to sell Britain to pay for your insurance. | 1.4323 | 0.04044 | 266 | 176 | 65 | 25 |
351 | Your blue cells are a bit low. | 1.4320 | 0.04367 | 206 | 132 | 59 | 15 |
352 | God Save The Queen! | 1.4320 | 0.04191 | 250 | 166 | 60 | 24 |
353 | I'd recommend that you stay away from White Castle. | 1.4318 | 0.03921 | 264 | 171 | 72 | 21 |
354 | You were right in worrying about your receding heir lines | 1.4306 | 0.04428 | 209 | 136 | 56 | 17 |
355 | Well, yes, but it says here you’ve had your last four proctologists beheaded. | 1.4302 | 0.04133 | 258 | 172 | 61 | 25 |
356 | Seems as if your royal jewels are merely ornamental | 1.4302 | 0.04169 | 258 | 173 | 59 | 26 |
357 | Well, at least this time, you are wearing clothes. | 1.4302 | 0.04022 | 258 | 169 | 67 | 22 |
358 | I have the test results regarding the Crown Jewels. | 1.4302 | 0.03908 | 258 | 166 | 73 | 19 |
359 | I'm going to refer you to a specialist who can help you — he's a wizard. | 1.4302 | 0.04133 | 258 | 172 | 61 | 25 |
360 | If you still need an heir, I'm afraid it's going to take more than a new Queen. | 1.4302 | 0.04022 | 258 | 169 | 67 | 22 |
361 | You are the healthiest king in history. Now will you tell the guy with the axe to go away? | 1.4302 | 0.04133 | 258 | 172 | 61 | 25 |
362 | The pain may literally be royal. but technically it's just a hemorrhoid. | 1.4302 | 0.03908 | 258 | 166 | 73 | 19 |
363 | I advise you to cut down on your knight life. | 1.4302 | 0.04096 | 258 | 171 | 63 | 24 |
364 | Drop your drawbridge. Need to check jewels. | 1.4297 | 0.04156 | 256 | 171 | 60 | 25 |
365 | You want me to state unequivocally that you're the healthiest person ever? | 1.4297 | 0.04441 | 256 | 179 | 44 | 33 |
366 | I’m sorry, your insurance only covers leeches or a poultice. | 1.4297 | 0.04081 | 256 | 169 | 64 | 23 |
367 | The robe ties in the back. | 1.4286 | 0.03849 | 252 | 160 | 76 | 16 |
368 | Unfortunately it seems that even with all of your horses and all of your men you still haven't quite reached your deductible | 1.4286 | 0.04165 | 252 | 168 | 60 | 24 |
369 | Bad news. Not long live the king. | 1.4286 | 0.04458 | 252 | 176 | 44 | 32 |
370 | Let me put it this way, you better produce an heir as soon as possible. | 1.4286 | 0.04088 | 252 | 166 | 64 | 22 |
371 | In medical terms, you're royally screwed. | 1.4286 | 0.04049 | 252 | 165 | 66 | 21 |
372 | It's hereditary | 1.4275 | 0.03937 | 255 | 165 | 71 | 19 |
373 | I'm afraid you're royally fucked. | 1.4269 | 0.04264 | 253 | 172 | 54 | 27 |
374 | If crowned, I can state unequivocally that he will be the healthiest individual every to rule. | 1.4269 | 0.03838 | 253 | 161 | 76 | 16 |
375 | I see the anti-depressant is working. | 1.4269 | 0.04037 | 253 | 166 | 66 | 21 |
376 | It's a case of proctalgia fugax regalis, or put simply, a Royal Pain in the Arse. | 1.4269 | 0.04114 | 253 | 168 | 62 | 23 |
377 | White Castle cannot be your official residence and Burger King is not a real title | 1.4269 | 0.04152 | 253 | 169 | 60 | 24 |
378 | Bad news, I'm afraid. It's checkmate. | 1.4269 | 0.04152 | 253 | 169 | 60 | 24 |
379 | Despite what your wife says “royal pain in the neck” is not a medical condition. | 1.4269 | 0.04227 | 253 | 171 | 56 | 26 |
380 | How much time do you spend each day sitting on the throne ? | 1.4269 | 0.04076 | 253 | 167 | 64 | 22 |
381 | And how are we today? | 1.4269 | 0.04114 | 253 | 168 | 62 | 23 |
382 | According to these test results, you have the mind of a seventy-two year old sociopath with narcissistic co-morbidity. | 1.4263 | 0.04098 | 251 | 166 | 63 | 22 |
383 | First, I’d like to run tests for blue blood, then I’ll check the Crown Jewels. | 1.4263 | 0.04020 | 251 | 164 | 67 | 20 |
384 | Meaning no disrespect - we still call it a 'common cold.' | 1.4263 | 0.03980 | 251 | 163 | 69 | 19 |
385 | Good news, all your bloodwork came back blue. | 1.4251 | 0.03982 | 247 | 160 | 69 | 18 |
386 | No, you didn't get it from sitting on the throne. | 1.4251 | 0.04064 | 247 | 162 | 65 | 20 |
387 | All of your tests indicate early onset abdication | 1.4250 | 0.04160 | 200 | 125 | 65 | 10 |
388 | It's plain your pain comes mainly from your reign. | 1.4245 | 0.04208 | 245 | 164 | 58 | 23 |
389 | I'd say you're fit, for a king. | 1.4245 | 0.03834 | 245 | 155 | 76 | 14 |
390 | Well your majesty, it turns out I can't accept you as a patient - you have no cash, no credit card and you refused to approve Medicare for All. | 1.4240 | 0.04482 | 250 | 176 | 42 | 32 |
391 | Exercising your authority doesn't count... | 1.4240 | 0.03989 | 250 | 163 | 68 | 19 |
392 | 'Any other symptoms apart from your receding heir line?' | 1.4240 | 0.04029 | 250 | 164 | 66 | 20 |
393 | Well, King Cole, here's a prescription for Prozac. You'll be merry again in no time. | 1.4240 | 0.04069 | 250 | 165 | 64 | 21 |
394 | You need to get out of the castle more often. Your test results show you have Turret Syndrome. | 1.4240 | 0.04224 | 250 | 169 | 56 | 25 |
395 | She can't keep letting you eat cake | 1.4239 | 0.04717 | 184 | 121 | 48 | 15 |
396 | I hate to tell you, Sire, but you are in fact naked. | 1.4229 | 0.05019 | 175 | 118 | 40 | 17 |
397 | Sorry,no more pipe,no more bowl. But you can keep the fiddlers three. | 1.4222 | 0.05511 | 135 | 89 | 35 | 11 |
398 | Unfortunately, it appears you’ve inherited more than your kingdom. | 1.4221 | 0.04138 | 244 | 162 | 61 | 21 |
399 | I suppose 'a king's ransom' would be enough to pay for the procedure. | 1.4215 | 0.03993 | 242 | 157 | 68 | 17 |
400 | I am very concerned about your blue blood cells count, your highness | 1.4215 | 0.04120 | 242 | 160 | 62 | 20 |
401 | The good news is you’re going to have a son. The bad news is he’ll be king in less than a year. | 1.4215 | 0.04203 | 242 | 162 | 58 | 22 |
402 | It's good to see Renaissance Fair employees finally getting health coverage. | 1.4215 | 0.04120 | 242 | 160 | 62 | 20 |
403 | You ordered all positive test results, and that's exactly what you got. | 1.4215 | 0.04203 | 242 | 162 | 58 | 22 |
404 | No, Your Highness. Ordering your people to exercise more will not improve your cholesterol level. | 1.4215 | 0.03727 | 242 | 151 | 80 | 11 |
405 | When did you first notice you'd lost your merry old soul? | 1.4215 | 0.04120 | 242 | 160 | 62 | 20 |
406 | You feel like a Queen trapped in a King's body? | 1.4208 | 0.04186 | 240 | 160 | 59 | 21 |
407 | The royal treatment? Not with your PPO. | 1.4208 | 0.04227 | 240 | 161 | 57 | 22 |
408 | The transition is going very well. Once a Queen, now the King. | 1.4208 | 0.04186 | 240 | 160 | 59 | 21 |
409 | Standard prep, or royal flush? | 1.4208 | 0.04186 | 240 | 160 | 59 | 21 |
410 | Just one form to sign--that you're absolutely positive you'd rather be a queen. | 1.4208 | 0.04268 | 240 | 162 | 55 | 23 |
411 | Aren't ALL your pains royal? | 1.4208 | 0.04186 | 240 | 160 | 59 | 21 |
412 | Blue blood makes sense but you should not have blue urine. | 1.4202 | 0.04125 | 238 | 157 | 62 | 19 |
413 | Well, the lab results say Meglomania. | 1.4202 | 0.04416 | 238 | 164 | 48 | 26 |
414 | Have you tried abdicating?" | 1.4202 | 0.04210 | 238 | 159 | 58 | 21 |
415 | It says here you’re experiencing an insurrection lasting longer than 4 weeks? | 1.4202 | 0.04252 | 238 | 160 | 56 | 22 |
416 | The good news is you have two weeks to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you last week. | 1.4202 | 0.04416 | 238 | 164 | 48 | 26 |
417 | I’m referring you to a specialist Mr. President. | 1.4198 | 0.04309 | 243 | 166 | 52 | 25 |
418 | long live the king" might be wishful thinking | 1.4188 | 0.04260 | 234 | 157 | 56 | 21 |
419 | You have six months to rule. | 1.4188 | 0.04084 | 234 | 153 | 64 | 17 |
420 | I'm sorry your majesty, but divine right is not a valid insurance plan | 1.4188 | 0.04429 | 234 | 161 | 48 | 25 |
421 | No, I said "futile," not "feudal." | 1.4188 | 0.04173 | 234 | 155 | 60 | 19 |
422 | On the bright side, you're still the king. | 1.4184 | 0.04154 | 239 | 159 | 60 | 20 |
423 | Prozac helps you live HAPPILY. EVER AFTER is still in clinical trials. | 1.4177 | 0.04178 | 237 | 158 | 59 | 20 |
424 | It’s just gout, Ron, there’s no need to get all dressed up for these check ups. | 1.4176 | 0.04874 | 182 | 123 | 42 | 17 |
425 | Any problems on the throne? | 1.4163 | 0.04139 | 233 | 154 | 61 | 18 |
426 | It’s been five years since your last royal flush. | 1.4163 | 0.04184 | 233 | 155 | 59 | 19 |
427 | I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but...you're in Checkmate." | 1.4163 | 0.04228 | 233 | 156 | 57 | 20 |
428 | Your realm is not in our network. | 1.4163 | 0.04357 | 233 | 159 | 51 | 23 |
429 | Well, a merry old soul usually benefits from statins, too. | 1.4163 | 0.04228 | 233 | 156 | 57 | 20 |
430 | Now, are you absolutely certain you want to be a Queen? | 1.4163 | 0.04271 | 233 | 157 | 55 | 21 |
431 | Couldn't you just endorse the product but not eat the burgers? | 1.4163 | 0.04441 | 233 | 161 | 47 | 25 |
432 | You need to call less for your pipe and your bowl. Call more for your fiddlers three. | 1.4163 | 0.04314 | 233 | 158 | 53 | 22 |
433 | No, 'WE' are not due for a prostate exam, YOU are! | 1.4163 | 0.04228 | 233 | 156 | 57 | 20 |
434 | We've gotten the DNA results back and you're really Santa Claus. | 1.4163 | 0.04441 | 233 | 161 | 47 | 25 |
435 | I think your condition may be hereditary. | 1.4163 | 0.04314 | 233 | 158 | 53 | 22 |
436 | Sorry sir, ‘Blue’ is not a blood type. | 1.4163 | 0.04094 | 233 | 153 | 63 | 17 |
437 | Looking at these test results, your reign in Spain may be over. | 1.4159 | 0.04365 | 226 | 153 | 52 | 21 |
438 | I think you'd better find a new food taster. | 1.4157 | 0.04951 | 178 | 121 | 40 | 17 |
439 | This is getting old Dad. | 1.4156 | 0.04427 | 231 | 159 | 48 | 24 |
440 | I'm afraid you'll only be able to move one space at a time from now on. | 1.4156 | 0.04072 | 231 | 151 | 64 | 16 |
441 | I see you brought your own gown, but you still have to put it on the other way. | 1.4156 | 0.03931 | 231 | 148 | 70 | 13 |
442 | I told you not to touch it, so why is it gold? | 1.4156 | 0.04072 | 231 | 151 | 64 | 16 |
443 | I am not falling for this Caption Contest thing again. For years I have faithfully entered and submitted very witty and/or humorous captions without ever having even one selected as a winner or even a finalist...... I QUIT your stupid contest! | 1.4156 | 0.04872 | 231 | 170 | 26 | 35 |
444 | I'm afraid you're history. | 1.4156 | 0.04209 | 231 | 154 | 58 | 19 |
445 | They approved the pipe, they approved the bowl, but they denied coverage for the fiddlers three. | 1.4156 | 0.04164 | 231 | 153 | 60 | 18 |
446 | You’re right - it is a royal pain. | 1.4156 | 0.04118 | 231 | 152 | 62 | 17 |
447 | You can call for your fiddlers three but no more pipe and no more bowl. | 1.4156 | 0.04026 | 231 | 150 | 66 | 15 |
448 | It appears that you have a weak constitution. | 1.4156 | 0.04297 | 231 | 156 | 54 | 21 |
449 | So just how much time do you spend on the throne? | 1.4156 | 0.04297 | 231 | 156 | 54 | 21 |
450 | The test results show that you have the Donald Complex, which is a bitch to control. | 1.4156 | 0.04593 | 231 | 163 | 40 | 28 |
451 | It says here you suffer from delusions of grandeur. | 1.4142 | 0.04021 | 239 | 157 | 65 | 17 |
452 | Geez, Henry, of course you're feeling tired. Six wives??? | 1.4141 | 0.04357 | 198 | 129 | 56 | 13 |
453 | Funny. I just had Ronald McDonald in here yesterday. | 1.4141 | 0.04259 | 227 | 152 | 56 | 19 |
454 | After reviewing your test results, I'd say the "Long Live" part is a bit shaky. | 1.4141 | 0.04167 | 227 | 150 | 60 | 17 |
455 | 'Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown,' doesn't give me much to go on. | 1.4141 | 0.04024 | 227 | 147 | 66 | 14 |
456 | I wrote your tests were astonishingly excellent and that you are the healthiest person ever to be crowned king. Will that do? | 1.4138 | 0.04411 | 232 | 160 | 48 | 24 |
457 | Sire, heavy is the head that wears the crown, and, if I may say so, likewise the torso that wears the head. | 1.4133 | 0.04377 | 225 | 153 | 51 | 21 |
458 | Heavy is the head that wears the crown--and pinched are the nerves in the neck. | 1.4130 | 0.04128 | 230 | 152 | 61 | 17 |
459 | Nope. It's red, just like everyone else's. | 1.4126 | 0.04495 | 223 | 154 | 46 | 23 |
460 | Your tests came back GREAT, your blood pressure is TERRIFIC, Your the HEALTHIEST PRESIDENT to ever serve! | 1.4120 | 0.04681 | 233 | 168 | 34 | 31 |
461 | I understand your concern but for a complete physical I must examine the royal jewels | 1.4112 | 0.04488 | 214 | 146 | 48 | 20 |
462 | Well,according to Mueller's report,there's no obstruction. | 1.4112 | 0.04439 | 214 | 145 | 50 | 19 |
463 | How many goblets would you say you drink per week? | 1.4112 | 0.04288 | 214 | 142 | 56 | 16 |
464 | It appears that what you have is inherited. | 1.4107 | 0.04250 | 224 | 150 | 56 | 18 |
465 | I'm afraid it's time for an Old King Colonoscopy. | 1.4107 | 0.04434 | 224 | 154 | 48 | 22 |
466 | So you say you’re having Knight terrors. | 1.4107 | 0.04434 | 224 | 154 | 48 | 22 |
467 | This says you're the healthiest individual to ever usurp the throne. Sure, I'll sign it. | 1.4107 | 0.04389 | 224 | 153 | 50 | 21 |
468 | It's called a royal pain, your Highness." | 1.4107 | 0.04297 | 224 | 151 | 54 | 19 |
469 | I see you have a family history of gout and mild narcissism. | 1.4107 | 0.04297 | 224 | 151 | 54 | 19 |
470 | I'm sorry, your Majesty, but long live the king doesn't apply here. | 1.4107 | 0.04154 | 224 | 148 | 60 | 16 |
471 | You say you have bone spurs? | 1.4107 | 0.04697 | 224 | 160 | 36 | 28 |
472 | So, anatomically speaking, it's not your wife's fault you have no male heirs, Henry. | 1.4107 | 0.04154 | 224 | 148 | 60 | 16 |
473 | I'm sorry to have to tell you--it's "checkmate". | 1.4107 | 0.04297 | 224 | 151 | 54 | 19 |
474 | And how many times a day are you on the throne? | 1.4107 | 0.04524 | 224 | 156 | 44 | 24 |
475 | How many redactions for the Queen's copy? | 1.4107 | 0.04154 | 224 | 148 | 60 | 16 |
476 | Can you put that on so it opens in the back? | 1.4107 | 0.04106 | 224 | 147 | 62 | 15 |
477 | Your condition is sometimes hereditary. | 1.4107 | 0.04106 | 224 | 147 | 62 | 15 |
478 | Your condition tends to run in families. | 1.4107 | 0.04250 | 224 | 150 | 56 | 18 |
479 | Your Highness isn’t such a good thing when it comes to your blood pressure. | 1.4107 | 0.04106 | 224 | 147 | 62 | 15 |
480 | X-rays came back. You're going to have to get a crown removed. | 1.4107 | 0.04297 | 224 | 151 | 54 | 19 |
481 | It looks like you’re behind on the black plague vaccination. | 1.4107 | 0.04343 | 224 | 152 | 52 | 20 |
482 | I can tell you’re not going to like the hospital gowns. | 1.4107 | 0.04250 | 224 | 150 | 56 | 18 |
483 | This is a rather long family history. | 1.4107 | 0.04154 | 224 | 148 | 60 | 16 |
484 | You can still be King, just not the Burger King. | 1.4099 | 0.04597 | 222 | 156 | 41 | 25 |
485 | Well, I have bad news for you, but great news for your heir. | 1.4099 | 0.04370 | 222 | 151 | 51 | 20 |
486 | The medical term is hemorrhoids. You may know it as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.4099 | 0.04323 | 222 | 150 | 53 | 19 |
487 | Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Your headaches will stop if you remove it for several hours a day. | 1.4099 | 0.04417 | 222 | 152 | 49 | 21 |
488 | You have Noble Gas. | 1.4099 | 0.04553 | 222 | 155 | 43 | 24 |
489 | Your medical records show that every physician you have seen in the past refers to you as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.4099 | 0.04228 | 222 | 148 | 57 | 17 |
490 | You really should get your shots...It’s coup season. | 1.4099 | 0.04553 | 222 | 155 | 43 | 24 |
491 | I understand "God save the king" as a campaign slogan, but I really have to recommend flu vaccine too. | 1.4099 | 0.04030 | 222 | 144 | 65 | 13 |
492 | Have you experienced any discomfort when you're ... on the throne? | 1.4099 | 0.04130 | 222 | 146 | 61 | 15 |
493 | Unfortunately, your insurance is out of kingdom. | 1.4093 | 0.04946 | 193 | 136 | 35 | 22 |
494 | You are NOT fit, for a king. | 1.4093 | 0.04422 | 215 | 146 | 50 | 19 |
495 | Please disrobe. | 1.4093 | 0.04422 | 215 | 146 | 50 | 19 |
496 | I'm sorry, but you'll need to see a dentist for a new crown. | 1.4093 | 0.04373 | 215 | 145 | 52 | 18 |
497 | Good news, you have the heart of a lion, Richard. | 1.4093 | 0.04422 | 215 | 146 | 50 | 19 |
498 | Not so long live the King. | 1.4093 | 0.04373 | 215 | 145 | 52 | 18 |
499 | You have Goneril, which will slowly drive you insane. | 1.4093 | 0.04889 | 215 | 156 | 30 | 29 |
500 | Usually I just call it an 'enema' but if it makes you feel better I can say 'royal flush' | 1.4093 | 0.04221 | 215 | 142 | 58 | 15 |
501 | It can happen if you spend too much time on the throne. | 1.4093 | 0.04323 | 215 | 144 | 54 | 17 |
502 | Four and twenty blackbirds? Well, that explains a lot. | 1.4093 | 0.04373 | 215 | 145 | 52 | 18 |
503 | You ate all 4 and 20 blackbirds baked in the pie? | 1.4093 | 0.04373 | 215 | 145 | 52 | 18 |
504 | When did you first notice you were wearing clothes | 1.4093 | 0.04471 | 215 | 147 | 48 | 20 |
505 | Have it your way" doesn't apply to prostate exam | 1.4093 | 0.04422 | 215 | 146 | 50 | 19 |
506 | Your blood pressure is up a bit. It's what we call a 'royal flush'. | 1.4093 | 0.04298 | 237 | 163 | 51 | 23 |
507 | You're royally fucked | 1.4091 | 0.04628 | 220 | 155 | 40 | 25 |
508 | I see you are covered by Medicare-for-One. | 1.4091 | 0.04672 | 220 | 156 | 38 | 26 |
509 | Next time, let me have a look at the wench first. | 1.4091 | 0.04445 | 220 | 151 | 48 | 21 |
510 | Looks like you have a family history of execution. | 1.4091 | 0.04302 | 220 | 148 | 54 | 18 |
511 | Your Highness, it is the lab report. But for some reason it is entirely redacted. | 1.4091 | 0.04583 | 220 | 154 | 42 | 24 |
512 | Sure, you can leave the crown on. | 1.4091 | 0.04350 | 220 | 149 | 52 | 19 |
513 | Seems those heel spurs you had in your youth have completely disappeared! | 1.4091 | 0.04800 | 198 | 138 | 39 | 21 |
514 | I see from your chart that each of my predecessors met an untimely demise, so perhaps we’ll skip this next part. | 1.4091 | 0.04254 | 220 | 147 | 56 | 17 |
515 | I ‘m afraid you have Old King Colon. | 1.4091 | 0.04398 | 220 | 150 | 50 | 20 |
516 | So...Do you have a son | 1.4091 | 0.04155 | 220 | 145 | 60 | 15 |
517 | Bad news - the royal "we" now refers to you and your tapeworm. | 1.4091 | 0.04445 | 220 | 151 | 48 | 21 |
518 | Are you aware that your insurance does not have "out of kingdom" benefits? | 1.4091 | 0.04350 | 220 | 149 | 52 | 19 |
519 | Take two in the morning and stay close to the throne. | 1.4091 | 0.04105 | 220 | 144 | 62 | 14 |
520 | Your Highness, I’m afraid your “uneasy head” qualifies as a pre-existing condition. | 1.4083 | 0.04180 | 218 | 144 | 59 | 15 |
521 | Have you had any more delusions of grandeur since your last visit? | 1.4080 | 0.04466 | 174 | 112 | 53 | 9 |
522 | Your insurance will only cover generic leeches. | 1.4078 | 0.04859 | 179 | 122 | 41 | 16 |
523 | Let’s test for delusions of grandeur. | 1.4074 | 0.04550 | 216 | 150 | 44 | 22 |
524 | I recommend an assisted living castle | 1.4072 | 0.04225 | 194 | 125 | 59 | 10 |
525 | I recommend you spend less time sitting on the throne. | 1.4068 | 0.05676 | 118 | 78 | 32 | 8 |
526 | The robe is supposed to be the other way around. | 1.4068 | 0.04696 | 177 | 118 | 46 | 13 |
527 | Recognizing the divine right of kings, let me start by saying immortality is overrated. | 1.4068 | 0.05802 | 118 | 79 | 30 | 9 |
528 | Delusions of grandeur is a side effect of that drug. | 1.4055 | 0.04438 | 217 | 149 | 48 | 20 |
529 | You have the greatest cholesterol and blood pressure, your highness. Anything else you want in this record? | 1.4055 | 0.04533 | 217 | 151 | 44 | 22 |
530 | Let' just say that the toast "Long live the King" might be inappropriate going forward. | 1.4055 | 0.04139 | 217 | 143 | 60 | 14 |
531 | So how are your movements when you're on the throne?" | 1.4055 | 0.04390 | 217 | 148 | 50 | 19 |
532 | Please keep in mind, I’m just the messenger. | 1.4055 | 0.04486 | 217 | 150 | 46 | 21 |
533 | Does it also feel heavy when you DON'T wear the crown? | 1.4055 | 0.04291 | 217 | 146 | 54 | 17 |
534 | Patients told us the old gowns made them feel undignified. | 1.4055 | 0.04139 | 217 | 143 | 60 | 14 |
535 | Would you say the pain is sharper than a serpent's tooth? | 1.4047 | 0.04164 | 215 | 142 | 59 | 14 |
536 | Your number of wives is higher than your sperm count, Henry. | 1.4041 | 0.04602 | 193 | 131 | 46 | 16 |
537 | So let me understand. You love the 'sparkly little crown' and the 'warm fuzzy robe', and outwardly you're the King. But somewhere deep inside, you'd rather be the Queen. | 1.4038 | 0.04137 | 213 | 140 | 60 | 13 |
538 | What new clothes? You are completely naked, your majesty. | 1.4038 | 0.04396 | 213 | 145 | 50 | 18 |
539 | Looks like HBO is only giving you three weeks to live. | 1.4038 | 0.04137 | 213 | 140 | 60 | 13 |
540 | Hemorrhoids can be ... well you know. | 1.4038 | 0.04446 | 213 | 146 | 48 | 19 |
541 | Let's put it this way...you're gonna need some extra help to raise the draw bridge. | 1.4038 | 0.04346 | 213 | 144 | 52 | 17 |
542 | I'm sorry to say that it looks like you called for your pipe too often. | 1.4038 | 0.04346 | 213 | 144 | 52 | 17 |
543 | The MRI says you have a merry old soul. | 1.4038 | 0.04243 | 213 | 142 | 56 | 15 |
544 | Our lab report indicates you suffer from a bout of acute anachronism. | 1.4038 | 0.04446 | 213 | 146 | 48 | 19 |
545 | Well, if you insist, I can call it a royal pain. | 1.4038 | 0.04396 | 213 | 145 | 50 | 18 |
546 | So for 3 years you believed you were king of the United States. | 1.4038 | 0.04736 | 213 | 152 | 36 | 25 |
547 | Have you given much thought to your successor? | 1.4038 | 0.04396 | 213 | 145 | 50 | 18 |
548 | You want me to write a letter saying you are the healthiest patient I've ever examined? | 1.4038 | 0.04446 | 213 | 146 | 48 | 19 |
549 | Under "Exam Requested" did you write "Regal" or "Rectal"? | 1.4028 | 0.04526 | 211 | 146 | 45 | 20 |
550 | You'll laugh at this: Her Majesty the Queen also just asked me to recommend a good poison. | 1.4028 | 0.04721 | 211 | 150 | 37 | 24 |
551 | A King’s ransom!? Wait until you get the anesthesia bill. | 1.4028 | 0.04108 | 211 | 138 | 61 | 12 |
552 | Is King your first name or your last name? | 1.4028 | 0.04162 | 211 | 139 | 59 | 13 |
553 | No, I wouldn't say you're fit for a king. | 1.4021 | 0.04755 | 194 | 135 | 40 | 19 |
554 | The good news is, there's an opening in the Kingdom of Heaven. | 1.4010 | 0.04587 | 207 | 144 | 43 | 20 |
555 | We have chlamydia | 1.4010 | 0.04378 | 207 | 140 | 51 | 16 |
556 | So tell me, when was your last royal flush? | 1.4010 | 0.04378 | 207 | 140 | 51 | 16 |
557 | Wait... what turned gold? | 1.4000 | 0.04352 | 205 | 138 | 52 | 15 |
558 | It could be feudal. | 1.3981 | 0.04247 | 216 | 146 | 54 | 16 |
559 | No, your majesty, blue blood is not a good thing. | 1.3981 | 0.04224 | 206 | 137 | 56 | 13 |
560 | No, 'long live the king' was not where I was going with this. | 1.3981 | 0.04280 | 206 | 138 | 54 | 14 |
561 | You can keep your crown on for the rectal exam, yes. | 1.3981 | 0.04496 | 206 | 142 | 46 | 18 |
562 | You have an Oedipus simplex. | 1.3981 | 0.04389 | 206 | 140 | 50 | 16 |
563 | First the good news. You’re a merry old soul. | 1.3981 | 0.04335 | 206 | 139 | 52 | 15 |
564 | I’m sorry to say but your blood is red. | 1.3981 | 0.04496 | 206 | 142 | 46 | 18 |
565 | So your highness... Is there an heir to the throne? | 1.3981 | 0.04600 | 206 | 144 | 42 | 20 |
566 | It seems you have everything! | 1.3981 | 0.04335 | 206 | 139 | 52 | 15 |
567 | No more pipe and bowl, and I'd like to see you to cut back to one fiddler. | 1.3981 | 0.04443 | 206 | 141 | 48 | 17 |
568 | The crown jewels seem quite healthy for a man your age. | 1.3981 | 0.04548 | 206 | 143 | 44 | 19 |
569 | Looks like the Prime Minister has cancelled you health insurance. | 1.3981 | 0.04111 | 206 | 135 | 60 | 11 |
570 | "I've always thought of 'royal pain' as more of a metaphorical term." | 1.3981 | 0.04443 | 206 | 141 | 48 | 17 |
571 | I feel like one of us is overdressed. | 1.3975 | 0.05006 | 161 | 110 | 38 | 13 |
572 | I'm sorry but it really is just a common cold. | 1.3974 | 0.05154 | 151 | 103 | 36 | 12 |
573 | Actually, the tests show you were side-swiped by a rook. | 1.3971 | 0.04418 | 204 | 139 | 49 | 16 |
574 | Ok so it says here you got 'sceptre' and 'suppository' confused... | 1.3971 | 0.04579 | 204 | 142 | 43 | 19 |
575 | You really to lay off the burgers, King. | 1.3971 | 0.04308 | 204 | 137 | 53 | 14 |
576 | Looks like you’ll need to rest on your laurels for a bit. | 1.3971 | 0.04418 | 204 | 139 | 49 | 16 |
577 | I wish I could say, “long live the king”, but this chart says otherwise | 1.3971 | 0.04526 | 204 | 141 | 45 | 18 |
578 | It appears that you "had it your way" too many times. | 1.3971 | 0.04194 | 204 | 135 | 57 | 12 |
579 | There's no easy way to say this, but you only have a few episodes left. | 1.3969 | 0.05384 | 131 | 88 | 34 | 9 |
580 | I'm sorry, but continuing treatment seems feudal. | 1.3962 | 0.04352 | 212 | 145 | 50 | 17 |
581 | Sorry, but this clearly shows that you have no clothes. | 1.3960 | 0.04611 | 202 | 141 | 42 | 19 |
582 | Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Let's try a neck collar. | 1.3960 | 0.04162 | 202 | 133 | 58 | 11 |
583 | Monarchcare Part D does not cover viagra. | 1.3960 | 0.04611 | 202 | 141 | 42 | 19 |
584 | Your chest xray shows that you've called for your pipe too often. | 1.3960 | 0.04448 | 202 | 138 | 48 | 16 |
585 | Forgive me sire,but I don't think you were meant to eat all four and twenty blackbirds in one sitting. | 1.3960 | 0.04392 | 202 | 137 | 50 | 15 |
586 | I'm afraid your insurance company did not approve the procedure, your Majesty. | 1.3960 | 0.04335 | 202 | 136 | 52 | 14 |
587 | We have cancer. And by “we” I mean the royal “we”. And by the royal “we” I mean you | 1.3960 | 0.04448 | 202 | 138 | 48 | 16 |
588 | So you say your joints only ache when you reign? | 1.3960 | 0.04503 | 202 | 139 | 46 | 17 |
589 | I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're royally screwed. | 1.3960 | 0.04503 | 202 | 139 | 46 | 17 |
590 | A solid -gold penis is one of the negative side effects of your condition, King Midas. | 1.3960 | 0.04503 | 202 | 139 | 46 | 17 |
591 | But without them you would be the Queen. | 1.3960 | 0.04871 | 202 | 146 | 32 | 24 |
592 | So just for our records would you describe the pain as mild, moderate, extreme, or royal? | 1.3960 | 0.04557 | 202 | 140 | 44 | 18 |
593 | Let's just say you're not exactly the King of hearts. | 1.3960 | 0.04611 | 202 | 141 | 42 | 19 |
594 | It’s called Throne’s Disease. | 1.3960 | 0.04220 | 202 | 134 | 56 | 12 |
595 | Your genetics indicate you are related to the Romanovs, the Hapburgs, and the mascot of a popular fast food chain. | 1.3960 | 0.04392 | 202 | 137 | 50 | 15 |
596 | I’m afraid the tests came back positive for delusions of grandeur. | 1.3960 | 0.04716 | 202 | 143 | 38 | 21 |
597 | All the analysis confirm you are a royal pain | 1.3951 | 0.04455 | 205 | 141 | 47 | 17 |
598 | I'm not going to lie to you; it's Trump Syndrome | 1.3949 | 0.05328 | 157 | 111 | 30 | 16 |
599 | I’m afraid “witch’s curse” is not considered a pre-existing condition. | 1.3941 | 0.04645 | 203 | 143 | 40 | 20 |
600 | DNA results came in. You are the pauper! | 1.3935 | 0.04292 | 216 | 148 | 51 | 17 |
601 | Now, we just need a sample of the Royal Wee. | 1.3935 | 0.04488 | 216 | 152 | 43 | 21 |
602 | Now if you would please disrobe. | 1.3929 | 0.04709 | 196 | 138 | 39 | 19 |
603 | I have your test results, and now I know why they call you "Your Highness." | 1.3929 | 0.04422 | 196 | 133 | 49 | 14 |
604 | I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but you have the common cold. | 1.3929 | 0.04539 | 196 | 135 | 45 | 16 |
605 | It appears to be a an Old King Cold. | 1.3929 | 0.04596 | 196 | 136 | 43 | 17 |
606 | Actually, your highness, in this context I do need you to wear no clothes. | 1.3929 | 0.04363 | 196 | 132 | 51 | 13 |
607 | I suppose I'd say you're fit...for a king. | 1.3929 | 0.04302 | 196 | 131 | 53 | 12 |
608 | I get that you're the Burger King, but try salad sometimes. | 1.3929 | 0.04596 | 196 | 136 | 43 | 17 |
609 | Unfortunately, you did not opt for the "Royal Package" insurance plan. | 1.3929 | 0.04653 | 196 | 137 | 41 | 18 |
610 | I'm afraid there's still no cure for democracy | 1.3929 | 0.04596 | 196 | 136 | 43 | 17 |
611 | Yes, Emperor, you must remove your clothes. | 1.3929 | 0.04596 | 196 | 136 | 43 | 17 |
612 | No, you can't lower your cholesterol by royal decree. | 1.3929 | 0.04302 | 196 | 131 | 53 | 12 |
613 | King or no King, you still need a colonoscopy. | 1.3929 | 0.04539 | 196 | 135 | 45 | 16 |
614 | So, your Highness, would you like to write my report of your annual physical again this year? | 1.3929 | 0.05031 | 196 | 144 | 27 | 25 |
615 | No you can't designate one of your subjects to suffer your gout for you. | 1.3927 | 0.04250 | 191 | 126 | 55 | 10 |
616 | Well, Mr. Cole, it seems you called for your pipe a little too often. | 1.3927 | 0.04250 | 191 | 126 | 55 | 10 |
617 | It’s about the family jewels... | 1.3927 | 0.04623 | 191 | 132 | 43 | 16 |
618 | You're in the wrong place. The dentist does crowns. | 1.3927 | 0.04502 | 191 | 130 | 47 | 14 |
619 | Yes, hemorrhoids are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3927 | 0.04502 | 191 | 130 | 47 | 14 |
620 | Are you seriously asking me to sign a letter saying that you are the physically fittest king there has ever been? | 1.3927 | 0.04682 | 191 | 133 | 41 | 17 |
621 | So, beheading the jester didn't help with your depression? | 1.3927 | 0.04682 | 191 | 133 | 41 | 17 |
622 | So, tell me a little bit about the medical history of the family members you've listed here, Ace, Queen and Jack. | 1.3927 | 0.04502 | 191 | 130 | 47 | 14 |
623 | Well the good news is, your son gets to be king. | 1.3927 | 0.04798 | 191 | 135 | 37 | 19 |
624 | That’s all very fascinating, but I needed to know your MEDICAL history. | 1.3927 | 0.04502 | 191 | 130 | 47 | 14 |
625 | One of your Fiddlers Three has given you herpes. | 1.3927 | 0.04682 | 191 | 133 | 41 | 17 |
626 | Hmmm, your blue cell count is getting a little low | 1.3927 | 0.04502 | 191 | 130 | 47 | 14 |
627 | It IS good to be the King. It's just not good to be the King's cholesterol level. | 1.3927 | 0.04623 | 191 | 132 | 43 | 16 |
628 | Mr. President: your test results clearly indicate an allergy to reality. | 1.3927 | 0.04855 | 191 | 136 | 35 | 20 |
629 | The MRI proves it, Mr. President; You are delusional. | 1.3927 | 0.05185 | 191 | 142 | 23 | 26 |
630 | You do have a merry old soul. It's your ticker that's the problem. | 1.3927 | 0.04623 | 191 | 132 | 43 | 16 |
631 | This isn't the first scepter I've seen stuck there, and I'm sure it won't be the last. | 1.3927 | 0.04314 | 191 | 127 | 53 | 11 |
632 | Well, you might be royalty, but your cold is common. | 1.3927 | 0.04563 | 191 | 131 | 45 | 15 |
633 | You really ate four and twenty blackbirds, sire? With your ulcer | 1.3927 | 0.04378 | 191 | 128 | 51 | 12 |
634 | At the risk of losing my head, I have some bad news! | 1.3924 | 0.05066 | 158 | 109 | 36 | 13 |
635 | I need to know that you know what kind of crown replacement you're here for. | 1.3906 | 0.04543 | 192 | 132 | 45 | 15 |
636 | It has turned to gold. I told you to stop touching yourself. | 1.3906 | 0.04778 | 192 | 136 | 37 | 19 |
637 | Well, you really are the man who has everything! | 1.3906 | 0.04543 | 192 | 132 | 45 | 15 |
638 | When you say, we're about to die, is that the royal we? | 1.3906 | 0.04483 | 192 | 131 | 47 | 14 |
639 | The robe is meant to be worn with the opening in the back! | 1.3906 | 0.04720 | 192 | 135 | 39 | 18 |
640 | I don't care if you do behead me, that's not going to shrink your prostate. | 1.3906 | 0.04297 | 192 | 128 | 53 | 11 |
641 | Not every body part of a King is going to be king size. You are perfectly normal. | 1.3906 | 0.04483 | 192 | 131 | 47 | 14 |
642 | All these years of being a merry old soul has taken its toll. | 1.3906 | 0.04297 | 192 | 128 | 53 | 11 |
643 | I'm afraid '16th century monarch' is a preexisting condition. | 1.3906 | 0.04603 | 192 | 133 | 43 | 16 |
644 | Hmmm...I see that uneasy lies thy head. | 1.3897 | 0.04374 | 195 | 132 | 50 | 13 |
645 | Well Henry tell your wife not to worry it's just gas. Nothing to lose her head over. | 1.3897 | 0.04493 | 195 | 134 | 46 | 15 |
646 | You can wear the crown, but I will need you to remove your robe. | 1.3895 | 0.04696 | 190 | 133 | 40 | 17 |
647 | There isn’t an easy way to say this, but you’ve got about six months until checkmate. | 1.3886 | 0.04216 | 193 | 128 | 55 | 10 |
648 | And now you want me to put her head back on? | 1.3883 | 0.04483 | 188 | 128 | 47 | 13 |
649 | Do you know the difference between prostrate and prostate? | 1.3881 | 0.04454 | 201 | 139 | 46 | 16 |
650 | Do you have a robe that opens in the back? | 1.3873 | 0.04461 | 204 | 142 | 45 | 17 |
651 | I'm going to suggest you cut back on the knight life. | 1.3871 | 0.05209 | 155 | 109 | 32 | 14 |
652 | According to my DSM manual, you have what's called TDS, aka Trump Derangement Syndrome. | 1.3862 | 0.04769 | 189 | 134 | 37 | 18 |
653 | You may have called for your pipe and your bowl once too often. | 1.3862 | 0.04464 | 189 | 129 | 47 | 13 |
654 | You are the healthiest king in U.S. History. | 1.3862 | 0.05111 | 189 | 140 | 25 | 24 |
655 | I have bad news... Long live the next king! | 1.3862 | 0.04709 | 189 | 133 | 39 | 17 |
656 | Yes your majesty, claiming bone spurs should do the trick. | 1.3862 | 0.04769 | 189 | 134 | 37 | 18 |
657 | Your coverage is denied. A royal pain in the neck is a pre-existing condition. | 1.3862 | 0.04336 | 189 | 127 | 51 | 11 |
658 | I'm very sorry; it's democracy. | 1.3851 | 0.04989 | 161 | 112 | 36 | 13 |
659 | So you say your head feels "heavy"? | 1.3850 | 0.04495 | 187 | 128 | 46 | 13 |
660 | I'm afraid we'll have to delay the transfusion, Your Majesty. There's a shortage of blue at the blood bank. | 1.3850 | 0.04621 | 187 | 130 | 42 | 15 |
661 | Golden touch, you say? We'll do a tetanus shot just in case. | 1.3850 | 0.04163 | 187 | 123 | 56 | 8 |
662 | Bad news. We're looking at a deviated scepter. | 1.3842 | 0.04382 | 190 | 129 | 49 | 12 |
663 | Well, your majesty, I can't really do a thorough exam if I'm kneeling. | 1.3842 | 0.04507 | 190 | 131 | 45 | 14 |
664 | I'm sorry Your Highness, but we just don't have any way to turn you back into a frog. | 1.3842 | 0.04806 | 190 | 136 | 35 | 19 |
665 | But you don't have bone spurs, Donald. | 1.3842 | 0.04806 | 190 | 136 | 35 | 19 |
666 | Nothing to worry about. Your blood isn’t really supposed to be blue. | 1.3842 | 0.04569 | 190 | 132 | 43 | 15 |
667 | It's a pleasure to finally meet the Single Payer. | 1.3842 | 0.04569 | 190 | 132 | 43 | 15 |
668 | Sorry, your insurer said no one gets the royal treatment. | 1.3842 | 0.04629 | 190 | 133 | 41 | 16 |
669 | The good news is they're gold... the bad news is they're kidney stones! | 1.3842 | 0.04689 | 190 | 134 | 39 | 17 |
670 | The test results show that you are, indeed, a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3842 | 0.04921 | 190 | 138 | 31 | 21 |
671 | Lets start with the good news. All your horses and all your men are in great shape! | 1.3842 | 0.04445 | 190 | 130 | 47 | 13 |
672 | Your blue blood count is very low. I'm prescribing abdication. | 1.3842 | 0.04569 | 190 | 132 | 43 | 15 |
673 | And by the way, you've got the gown on backwards. | 1.3842 | 0.04382 | 190 | 129 | 49 | 12 |
674 | Trouble on the throne, I see. | 1.3842 | 0.04445 | 190 | 130 | 47 | 13 |
675 | The problem is with the Royal Wee... | 1.3842 | 0.04689 | 190 | 134 | 39 | 17 |
676 | So you’re living like a king these days. How’s that working out? | 1.3842 | 0.04629 | 190 | 133 | 41 | 16 |
677 | You can keep the fiddlers but the pipe and bowl have to go. . . | 1.3842 | 0.04445 | 190 | 130 | 47 | 13 |
678 | Here's my note saying you've got bone spurs and can't meet with the president. | 1.3842 | 0.04689 | 190 | 134 | 39 | 17 |
679 | No, blue blood is not a good thing. | 1.3842 | 0.04569 | 190 | 132 | 43 | 15 |
680 | So you’re having problems on the throne? | 1.3842 | 0.04253 | 190 | 127 | 53 | 10 |
681 | So this is the statement you want me to read, Sire? "The king's health is excellent, because his overall health is excellent… He has incredibly good genes…. He is very, very sharp... Absolutely no cognitive or mental issues whatsoever!" | 1.3842 | 0.04629 | 190 | 133 | 41 | 16 |
682 | I recommend we cut it down to four and 10 blackbirds baked in a pie. | 1.3842 | 0.04382 | 190 | 129 | 49 | 12 |
683 | Sorry, your realm seems to be outside of our network. | 1.3842 | 0.04187 | 190 | 126 | 55 | 9 |
684 | It's a royal pain. | 1.3838 | 0.04591 | 185 | 128 | 43 | 14 |
685 | According to your provider, the deductible is half your kingdom. | 1.3838 | 0.04779 | 185 | 131 | 37 | 17 |
686 | Your prostate being “king sized” is not a good thing. | 1.3838 | 0.04395 | 185 | 125 | 49 | 11 |
687 | All of your horses and all of your men can't make your liver alive again. | 1.3838 | 0.04655 | 185 | 129 | 41 | 15 |
688 | Research says you might change back into the frog when you die, so maybe remind her of how you met. | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
689 | I’m not sure I can prescribe viagra in good conscience, Oedipus. | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
690 | No, Mr. President, nobody else can tell it is you. | 1.3838 | 0.04717 | 185 | 130 | 39 | 16 |
691 | I'm afraid it's Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The good news is you'll think this makes you especially special. | 1.3838 | 0.04717 | 185 | 130 | 39 | 16 |
692 | I’m afraid you’ve lost your touch. | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
693 | You see, His Majesty, when you learned that anything you touch turns instantly into gold, one would think that you'd have taken masterbation off the table. | 1.3838 | 0.04779 | 185 | 131 | 37 | 17 |
694 | Your x-ray for bone spurs has been redacted. | 1.3838 | 0.04840 | 185 | 132 | 35 | 18 |
695 | When did you start to lose your touch? | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
696 | You said there were four and twenty blackbirds baked in that pie? | 1.3838 | 0.04259 | 185 | 123 | 53 | 9 |
697 | Dressing as king notwithstanding, you still suffer from malignant narcissism, and you do NOT have unlimited authority or powers. | 1.3838 | 0.05019 | 185 | 135 | 29 | 21 |
698 | You do know that ' Long Live the King' doesn't mean forever, right? | 1.3838 | 0.04527 | 185 | 127 | 45 | 13 |
699 | Delusions aside, the theatre needs the costume back in time for tonight's performance | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
700 | Good news, we found the scepter. | 1.3838 | 0.04779 | 185 | 131 | 37 | 17 |
701 | It’s nothing more money can’t cure. | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
702 | Men your age often have difficulty drawing their swords from stones. | 1.3838 | 0.04717 | 185 | 130 | 39 | 16 |
703 | You can keep your robe on, but I need the opening in the back. | 1.3838 | 0.04527 | 185 | 127 | 45 | 13 |
704 | Your results from 23andMe indicate you are King of Mar-a-Lago but not King of America | 1.3838 | 0.04960 | 185 | 134 | 31 | 20 |
705 | Unfortunately. a King’ s ransom isn’t enough to cover your hospitalization. | 1.3838 | 0.04461 | 185 | 126 | 47 | 12 |
706 | I don't think the "seditious mobs" will be placated by a doctor's note. | 1.3838 | 0.04190 | 185 | 122 | 55 | 8 |
707 | Your exam gown is on backwards. | 1.3838 | 0.04779 | 185 | 131 | 37 | 17 |
708 | I'm afraid it's not just a pain, it's a royal pain. | 1.3838 | 0.04591 | 185 | 128 | 43 | 14 |
709 | Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Ed. You're screwed...royally. | 1.3838 | 0.04779 | 185 | 131 | 37 | 17 |
710 | So, just some numbness and tingling in the crown jewels? | 1.3838 | 0.04328 | 185 | 124 | 51 | 10 |
711 | First we need to separate the real pains from the royal pains. | 1.3838 | 0.04591 | 185 | 128 | 43 | 14 |
712 | This is never an easy thing to tell someone, but I'm afraid you have dissidents. | 1.3825 | 0.04493 | 183 | 125 | 46 | 12 |
713 | Yes, you're delusional. But the costume is authentic. | 1.3825 | 0.04493 | 183 | 125 | 46 | 12 |
714 | What causes it?... Inbreeding. | 1.3825 | 0.04624 | 183 | 127 | 42 | 14 |
715 | For this exam, the robe opens in the back. | 1.3825 | 0.04559 | 183 | 126 | 44 | 13 |
716 | My apologies King Edward, this seems to be Edward Kings chart. You don’t have syphilis. | 1.3825 | 0.04689 | 183 | 128 | 40 | 15 |
717 | Well, we can rule out the common cold. | 1.3825 | 0.04493 | 183 | 125 | 46 | 12 |
718 | Yes, you may leave the crown on. | 1.3812 | 0.04592 | 181 | 125 | 43 | 13 |
719 | I'm afraid being the "burger king" has finally caught up with you. | 1.3812 | 0.04724 | 181 | 127 | 39 | 15 |
720 | Unfortunately, it’s hereditary.” | 1.3812 | 0.04724 | 181 | 127 | 39 | 15 |
721 | That’s right, “delusions of grandeur.” | 1.3812 | 0.04788 | 181 | 128 | 37 | 16 |
722 | Your Highness, you may leave your crown and socks on....everything else off. | 1.3812 | 0.04724 | 181 | 127 | 39 | 15 |
723 | We believe it may have been something in the pie. | 1.3812 | 0.04658 | 181 | 126 | 41 | 14 |
724 | I'm so sorry, but you have end-stage obsolescence. | 1.3812 | 0.04592 | 181 | 125 | 43 | 13 |
725 | Your soul could be merrier. I'm ordering a 4th fiddler. | 1.3812 | 0.04245 | 181 | 120 | 53 | 8 |
726 | Actually, Your Highness, the gown is supposed to open at the back. | 1.3812 | 0.04456 | 181 | 123 | 47 | 11 |
727 | The good news is we got out the stone. The bad news, the sword is still in there. | 1.3812 | 0.04915 | 181 | 130 | 33 | 18 |
728 | Today, I'm sorry to say, it's not so good to be the king. | 1.3812 | 0.04387 | 181 | 122 | 49 | 10 |
729 | There’s no real treatment for a Royal Pain.... | 1.3807 | 0.04750 | 176 | 123 | 39 | 14 |
730 | I would cut back on your trips to White Castle. | 1.3807 | 0.04468 | 176 | 119 | 47 | 10 |
731 | It says here that you sprained your foot in a 'serfing' accident. Could you elaborate? | 1.3807 | 0.04611 | 176 | 121 | 43 | 12 |
732 | You're in good hands. They call me the King of Hearts, too. | 1.3807 | 0.04818 | 176 | 124 | 37 | 15 |
733 | Any other symptoms besides feeling like you'll lose your head any day now?" | 1.3807 | 0.04395 | 176 | 118 | 49 | 9 |
734 | Now,let's address your problems on the throne. | 1.3807 | 0.04540 | 176 | 120 | 45 | 11 |
735 | With these results, I'd recommend cutting out the pipe and the bowl. | 1.3807 | 0.04885 | 176 | 125 | 35 | 16 |
736 | Well, my Queen, the testosterone injections seem to be working. | 1.3807 | 0.04885 | 176 | 125 | 35 | 16 |
737 | Gout may be the disease of king's but I'm telling you it's a bunion | 1.3807 | 0.04468 | 176 | 119 | 47 | 10 |
738 | Your Ancestry DNA results are back. You're not the king. | 1.3807 | 0.04951 | 176 | 126 | 33 | 17 |
739 | Well, unlike the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, we don't have universal healthcare. | 1.3807 | 0.04611 | 176 | 121 | 43 | 12 |
740 | I am a little confused...you were injured during a game of thrones? | 1.3807 | 0.04885 | 176 | 125 | 35 | 16 |
741 | From the best we can tell, Mr. President, your geneologic lineage does not appear to be divine. | 1.3807 | 0.05080 | 176 | 128 | 29 | 19 |
742 | To you it may be a Royal Pain in the Ass, but to me it's just a common hemorrhoid. | 1.3807 | 0.04885 | 176 | 125 | 35 | 16 |
743 | We found the cause of your headaches and sleeplessness in Henry IV, Part II, Act III, Scene I: "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." | 1.3807 | 0.04885 | 176 | 125 | 35 | 16 |
744 | Well, so much for being a merry old soul. | 1.3807 | 0.04468 | 176 | 119 | 47 | 10 |
745 | I see they went all in on the new hospital gowns. | 1.3807 | 0.04468 | 176 | 119 | 47 | 10 |
746 | No, I'm afraid your manservant cannot take the colonosocopy for you! | 1.3807 | 0.04540 | 176 | 120 | 45 | 11 |
747 | I recommend getting your succession in order, quickly | 1.3807 | 0.04681 | 176 | 122 | 41 | 13 |
748 | The first name is Your, and the last name is Majesty." Is that correct? | 1.3807 | 0.04951 | 176 | 126 | 33 | 17 |
749 | Definitely no pipe, less bowl, and no more than two fiddlers. | 1.3807 | 0.04818 | 176 | 124 | 37 | 15 |
750 | Don't dwell on your limitations. You can still move in any direction. | 1.3807 | 0.04681 | 176 | 122 | 41 | 13 |
751 | I'll need a sample of the Royal Wee. | 1.3807 | 0.04750 | 176 | 123 | 39 | 14 |
752 | Ok then, how are "We" doing today? | 1.3807 | 0.04750 | 176 | 123 | 39 | 14 |
753 | Sorry to say, Your Majesty, but you are no longer ‘fit’ for a king. | 1.3807 | 0.04611 | 176 | 121 | 43 | 12 |
754 | The royal pain is where? | 1.3807 | 0.04540 | 176 | 120 | 45 | 11 |
755 | Let's just say the 'crown jewels' are just for show now. | 1.3799 | 0.04557 | 179 | 123 | 44 | 12 |
756 | King of hearts? This electrocardiogram does not think so | 1.3799 | 0.04825 | 179 | 127 | 36 | 16 |
757 | Well, 'into each life some reigns must fall'. | 1.3799 | 0.04557 | 179 | 123 | 44 | 12 |
758 | It definitely feels enlarged, but on a happier note, I think it's made of gold. | 1.3799 | 0.04557 | 179 | 123 | 44 | 12 |
759 | Your Highness, you need to get more exersize or you'll be trading your kingdom for a hearse. | 1.3799 | 0.04953 | 179 | 129 | 32 | 18 |
760 | Your tests came back positive for a deviated scepter. | 1.3799 | 0.04759 | 179 | 126 | 38 | 15 |
761 | I'm sorry, but you are not really a king. But then, I'm not really a doctor. | 1.3799 | 0.04889 | 179 | 128 | 34 | 17 |
762 | your highness, it's your heinie | 1.3799 | 0.04693 | 179 | 125 | 40 | 14 |
763 | It's black lung, king Cole | 1.3799 | 0.04759 | 179 | 126 | 38 | 15 |
764 | I'm referring you to the coronary care unit. | 1.3799 | 0.04825 | 179 | 127 | 36 | 16 |
765 | There's no issue in particular causing your recent decline, you might just have a weak constitution. | 1.3799 | 0.04759 | 179 | 126 | 38 | 15 |
766 | That's funny. The Queen, Jack, and Ten have the same disease. | 1.3799 | 0.04693 | 179 | 125 | 40 | 14 |
767 | You may want to patch things up with your first born. | 1.3799 | 0.04693 | 179 | 125 | 40 | 14 |
768 | The test results are in , you just have a merry old soul. | 1.3799 | 0.04625 | 179 | 124 | 42 | 13 |
769 | If your head is lying uneasy, it's time to get a new crown. | 1.3799 | 0.04417 | 179 | 121 | 48 | 10 |
770 | Blue blood in your case is a preexisting condition.” | 1.3799 | 0.04759 | 179 | 126 | 38 | 15 |
771 | I'm afraid your condition is inherited. | 1.3799 | 0.04417 | 179 | 121 | 48 | 10 |
772 | Sorry, this time it's the the "Game of stones" | 1.3799 | 0.04693 | 179 | 125 | 40 | 14 |
773 | I'll need you to disrobe." | 1.3791 | 0.04830 | 182 | 130 | 35 | 17 |
774 | Emperor, remove your new clothes. | 1.3785 | 0.04862 | 177 | 126 | 35 | 16 |
775 | Disrobe. | 1.3785 | 0.04520 | 177 | 121 | 45 | 11 |
776 | We found 90% collusion. | 1.3785 | 0.04660 | 177 | 123 | 41 | 13 |
777 | I wish I could say “Long live the king!” but... | 1.3785 | 0.04590 | 177 | 122 | 43 | 12 |
778 | Well, King Midas, Sir, I'm afraid you really shouldn't have touched it. | 1.3785 | 0.04862 | 177 | 126 | 35 | 16 |
779 | I'm not a dentist, but I think you need a new crown. | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
780 | Sorry but we need more than “Son of Henry, first of his name” for blood work. | 1.3785 | 0.04520 | 177 | 121 | 45 | 11 |
781 | Thank you for your offer, but I'm not really sure that the title 'Earl of Proctology' will be that beneficial to my practice. | 1.3785 | 0.04590 | 177 | 122 | 43 | 12 |
782 | Good news! The crabs you have are king crabs. | 1.3785 | 0.04795 | 177 | 125 | 37 | 15 |
783 | Well, to you they're a royal pain in the ass. In this office, we just call them hemorrhoids. | 1.3785 | 0.04448 | 177 | 120 | 47 | 10 |
784 | No, sir, I’m not jesting when I say the proceedure will cost a king’s ransom. | 1.3785 | 0.04795 | 177 | 125 | 37 | 15 |
785 | I'm sorry, I can't fix your receding heir line. | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
786 | I'm afraid you have a case of delusions of grandeur, Mr. President. | 1.3785 | 0.04992 | 177 | 128 | 31 | 18 |
787 | I’ll start with good news. Fortunately, you have an hier apparent. | 1.3785 | 0.04590 | 177 | 122 | 43 | 12 |
788 | Well King Cole, it looks like your merry old sole may need Prozac. | 1.3785 | 0.04660 | 177 | 123 | 41 | 13 |
789 | No, vaccines didn't cause your autism, it was the thousand years of in-breeding | 1.3785 | 0.04862 | 177 | 126 | 35 | 16 |
790 | Why yes, Knighthood would be an acceptable form of payment. | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
791 | I see here you would rather be Queen. | 1.3785 | 0.04928 | 177 | 127 | 33 | 17 |
792 | First, the good news. It says here "long live the King". | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
793 | You are the healthiest president in history Mr. Trump. | 1.3785 | 0.04992 | 177 | 128 | 31 | 18 |
794 | How much time do you spend on the throne? | 1.3785 | 0.04520 | 177 | 121 | 45 | 11 |
795 | So Midas--you say you're losing your touch? | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
796 | You say you’re a-king all over? | 1.3785 | 0.04928 | 177 | 127 | 33 | 17 |
797 | No, your majesty, a ‘royal flush’ is something else entirely. | 1.3785 | 0.04375 | 177 | 119 | 49 | 9 |
798 | You'll have to go to the dentist for a new crown. | 1.3785 | 0.04862 | 177 | 126 | 35 | 16 |
799 | I suppose they would be considered “king crabs”. | 1.3785 | 0.04728 | 177 | 124 | 39 | 14 |
800 | So, you're not fit for a king after all. | 1.3784 | 0.04647 | 185 | 130 | 40 | 15 |
801 | I can give you a physical, but you'll need to see a dentist for the crown replacement. | 1.3782 | 0.05172 | 156 | 111 | 31 | 14 |
802 | There's nothing more we can do. It's checkmate. | 1.3778 | 0.04468 | 180 | 123 | 46 | 11 |
803 | You probably won't want to be giving anyone the Midas touch for about 6 weeks | 1.3771 | 0.04624 | 175 | 121 | 42 | 12 |
804 | Your blood is pale blue because you’re anemic. | 1.3771 | 0.04900 | 175 | 125 | 34 | 16 |
805 | I see here that you noted your occupation as hereditary. | 1.3771 | 0.05032 | 175 | 127 | 30 | 18 |
806 | But on the bright side, your son won't be unemployed much longer. | 1.3771 | 0.04764 | 175 | 123 | 38 | 14 |
807 | Have you considered naming a successor? | 1.3771 | 0.04553 | 175 | 120 | 44 | 11 |
808 | I recommend less time on the throne. | 1.3771 | 0.04695 | 175 | 122 | 40 | 13 |
809 | The retest shows the same thing. Two Jacks beat a King. | 1.3771 | 0.04624 | 175 | 121 | 42 | 12 |
810 | I’m not sure how to say this... checkmate? | 1.3771 | 0.04832 | 175 | 124 | 36 | 15 |
811 | See if you can cut back to two and ten blackbirds. | 1.3771 | 0.04331 | 175 | 117 | 50 | 8 |
812 | We're very discrete at our fertility clinic, Let's just call it a heir transplant. | 1.3771 | 0.04764 | 175 | 123 | 38 | 14 |
813 | No, you're not the burger king. They give the crowns to everybody. | 1.3771 | 0.04553 | 175 | 120 | 44 | 11 |
814 | Those bone spurs are completely gone. | 1.3771 | 0.04764 | 175 | 123 | 38 | 14 |
815 | What have you been up to? The lab report says king crabs. | 1.3771 | 0.04900 | 175 | 125 | 34 | 16 |
816 | It says here you ate four and twenty blackbirds? | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
817 | Your ancestry results came back, and I have some unfortunate news.... | 1.3771 | 0.04900 | 175 | 125 | 34 | 16 |
818 | Most of the test results look fine, but your blue blood cell count is a little on the low side. | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
819 | Just a bit of inflammation of the crown jewels. | 1.3771 | 0.04553 | 175 | 120 | 44 | 11 |
820 | That's a very common location for a royal pain, but I'm going to refer you to a proctologist for further evaluation. | 1.3771 | 0.04764 | 175 | 123 | 38 | 14 |
821 | Your mother and I both told you not to touch it. | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
822 | This is highly unusual for a man,but I'm afraid to inform you that you're crowning. | 1.3771 | 0.04900 | 175 | 125 | 34 | 16 |
823 | Make me a knight, and I'll waive your deductible | 1.3771 | 0.04832 | 175 | 124 | 36 | 15 |
824 | She's right - you need to let other people eat cake. | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
825 | I said you are impotent, not important. | 1.3771 | 0.04695 | 175 | 122 | 40 | 13 |
826 | Other than “royal,” how would you describe your pain? | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
827 | Looks like you've got a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3771 | 0.04832 | 175 | 124 | 36 | 15 |
828 | I have your diagnosis here. You're experiencing something we call "compassion". | 1.3771 | 0.04695 | 175 | 122 | 40 | 13 |
829 | Well, it appears that you’re Royally screwed. | 1.3771 | 0.04553 | 175 | 120 | 44 | 11 |
830 | You can keep the fiddlers, but the pipe and bowl have got to go. | 1.3771 | 0.04624 | 175 | 121 | 42 | 12 |
831 | That explains the blackbird beaks in your stomach! | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
832 | Even you can't afford healthcare, Midas. | 1.3771 | 0.04624 | 175 | 121 | 42 | 12 |
833 | This DNA test shows you father was the jester. | 1.3771 | 0.04553 | 175 | 120 | 44 | 11 |
834 | To clarify, 'your highness' refers to your elevated lab results. | 1.3771 | 0.04900 | 175 | 125 | 34 | 16 |
835 | I'm afraid you have it all. | 1.3771 | 0.04764 | 175 | 123 | 38 | 14 |
836 | I'm sorry, Henry, according to the DNA report, your father was the court jester. | 1.3771 | 0.04480 | 175 | 119 | 46 | 10 |
837 | I have your test results, and let's just say winter is coming. | 1.3771 | 0.04624 | 175 | 121 | 42 | 12 |
838 | Yes Sire, the Emperor's New Clothes still have to come off... | 1.3771 | 0.04695 | 175 | 122 | 40 | 13 |
839 | I'm going to refer you to an in-realm provider. | 1.3767 | 0.05156 | 146 | 102 | 33 | 11 |
840 | The good news is that we've located the scepter. | 1.3764 | 0.04569 | 178 | 123 | 43 | 12 |
841 | I'm sorry your majesty, but I cannot give you anything other than the full unredacted report... | 1.3764 | 0.04773 | 178 | 126 | 37 | 15 |
842 | Well, your dilemma over abdication is now academic. | 1.3764 | 0.04904 | 178 | 128 | 33 | 17 |
843 | I'm afraid it's spread through all the realm. | 1.3764 | 0.04499 | 178 | 122 | 45 | 11 |
844 | I'm sorry, but it seems that you're royally screwed. | 1.3764 | 0.04969 | 178 | 129 | 31 | 18 |
845 | So you’ve been experiencing trouble with your constitution? | 1.3764 | 0.04773 | 178 | 126 | 37 | 15 |
846 | 'The good news is we found your scepter........." | 1.3764 | 0.04773 | 178 | 126 | 37 | 15 |
847 | I'm afraid your blood is blue. | 1.3764 | 0.04356 | 178 | 120 | 49 | 9 |
848 | The robe goes on the other way. | 1.3764 | 0.04638 | 178 | 124 | 41 | 13 |
849 | Lay off the Crown Royal. | 1.3759 | 0.05185 | 141 | 98 | 33 | 10 |
850 | I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing hereditary syndromes. | 1.3757 | 0.04586 | 173 | 119 | 43 | 11 |
851 | Looks clean...no plague, pestilence, or mutiny. | 1.3743 | 0.04543 | 187 | 131 | 42 | 14 |
852 | This note from your quack says I’m supposed to pronounce you the healthiest 72 year old I’ve ever examined. | 1.3743 | 0.04817 | 179 | 128 | 35 | 16 |
853 | This is a very common ailment. Sorry. | 1.3742 | 0.04498 | 155 | 103 | 46 | 6 |
854 | I’m afraid your ‘royal pain in the ass’ is a pre-existing condition. | 1.3742 | 0.04769 | 155 | 106 | 40 | 9 |
855 | I'm afraid we've found a stone in your sword. | 1.3741 | 0.05525 | 139 | 100 | 26 | 13 |
856 | The Royal Wee is infecte | 1.3740 | 0.05561 | 131 | 93 | 27 | 11 |
857 | Based on your test results, its not so good to be King. | 1.3736 | 0.04491 | 174 | 119 | 45 | 10 |
858 | That's the normal location for a royal pain. | 1.3736 | 0.04637 | 174 | 121 | 41 | 12 |
859 | So, to which daughter did you want me to send the bill? | 1.3736 | 0.04708 | 174 | 122 | 39 | 13 |
860 | Your DNA test came back. The result is that you are 100% incest. | 1.3736 | 0.04982 | 174 | 126 | 31 | 17 |
861 | When you said your crown was loose, I thought you meant your tooth! | 1.3736 | 0.04565 | 174 | 120 | 43 | 11 |
862 | The gown opens in the back, your highness. | 1.3736 | 0.04847 | 174 | 124 | 35 | 15 |
863 | It says here your insurance won't pay for a new crown. | 1.3736 | 0.05242 | 174 | 130 | 23 | 21 |
864 | Well, the good news is that your DNA matches a fourth cousin of one of the Queen's chambermaids. | 1.3736 | 0.04637 | 174 | 121 | 41 | 12 |
865 | Well, mead is actually pretty high in triglycerides. | 1.3733 | 0.04874 | 150 | 103 | 38 | 9 |
866 | Your highness, I can’t write a letter that says you’re ‘astonishingly healthy’.” | 1.3722 | 0.04859 | 180 | 130 | 33 | 17 |
867 | Tell me -- what did Putin want from you when he promised to make you king | 1.3722 | 0.04729 | 180 | 128 | 37 | 15 |
868 | This is my first encounter with an actual royal pain. | 1.3721 | 0.04885 | 172 | 123 | 34 | 15 |
869 | We’re going to need a royal wee sample | 1.3721 | 0.04672 | 172 | 120 | 40 | 12 |
870 | It's chlamydia. You shouldn't enjoy every dainty dish set before the king. | 1.3721 | 0.04954 | 172 | 124 | 32 | 16 |
871 | Maybe you had better tell me what you mean when you say, 'crown jewels.' | 1.3721 | 0.04672 | 172 | 120 | 40 | 12 |
872 | Your majesty, perhaps you misunderstood. The robe is to open in the back. | 1.3721 | 0.05022 | 172 | 125 | 30 | 17 |
873 | I was expecting an emperor with no clothes. | 1.3721 | 0.04885 | 172 | 123 | 34 | 15 |
874 | We'll need a little more information besides The King." | 1.3721 | 0.04815 | 172 | 122 | 36 | 14 |
875 | It's not a royal pain in the ass- it's a hemorrhoid. | 1.3721 | 0.04885 | 172 | 123 | 34 | 15 |
876 | No, the Magna Carta doesn't grant you unlimited referrals and out-patient services. | 1.3721 | 0.04598 | 172 | 119 | 42 | 11 |
877 | Good God, your blood really IS blue. | 1.3721 | 0.04672 | 172 | 120 | 40 | 12 |
878 | No...I said fatal, not Feudal! | 1.3721 | 0.04744 | 172 | 121 | 38 | 13 |
879 | All the scans came back negative but you're saying your head still feels heavy? | 1.3721 | 0.04371 | 172 | 116 | 48 | 8 |
880 | Your lab results came back positive. I'm afraid you're going to have to inform your previous queens. | 1.3721 | 0.04371 | 172 | 116 | 48 | 8 |
881 | Royal Pain in the Ass" is not a medical condition. Perhaps your subjects meant hemorrhoids | 1.3721 | 0.04744 | 172 | 121 | 38 | 13 |
882 | Well, you have very high cholesterol, a touch of gout, and a bit of megalomania —- so normal. | 1.3721 | 0.04672 | 172 | 120 | 40 | 12 |
883 | Sire, it looks like you won't be doing any more siring. | 1.3714 | 0.04755 | 175 | 124 | 37 | 14 |
884 | I understand that you can't afford insurance. | 1.3706 | 0.04853 | 170 | 121 | 35 | 14 |
885 | It says your blood is blue. | 1.3706 | 0.04557 | 170 | 117 | 43 | 10 |
886 | I'll be happy to announce that you are the healthiest king ever, aside from that bone spur problem. | 1.3706 | 0.04924 | 170 | 122 | 33 | 15 |
887 | You'll have to see a dentist, you may need a new crown | 1.3706 | 0.04707 | 170 | 119 | 39 | 12 |
888 | The robe and crown suit you, Mr. Trump. I'm a little curious about the beard | 1.3706 | 0.04994 | 170 | 123 | 31 | 16 |
889 | I'm afraid the pipe and bowl are generally contraindicated, but I can't see any harm in the fiddlers. | 1.3706 | 0.04317 | 197 | 137 | 47 | 13 |
890 | Sire, it gives me more than the usual amount of pleasure to ask you to turn around and bend over. | 1.3699 | 0.04792 | 173 | 123 | 36 | 14 |
891 | Heavy is the head that wears the crown" is right. You'll need corrective spinal surgery. | 1.3699 | 0.04649 | 173 | 121 | 40 | 12 |
892 | This is what I am to make public? "The King is in excellent health and will likely outlive all his detractors!" | 1.3699 | 0.04792 | 173 | 123 | 36 | 14 |
893 | In your case, it's not so good to be the King. | 1.3699 | 0.04721 | 173 | 122 | 38 | 13 |
894 | Let's start with fewer blackbirds in the filling. | 1.3699 | 0.04649 | 173 | 121 | 40 | 12 |
895 | Your results came back - you tested positive for regalia. | 1.3699 | 0.04503 | 173 | 119 | 44 | 10 |
896 | I'm sorry, but I told you what would happen if you touched it. | 1.3699 | 0.04577 | 173 | 120 | 42 | 11 |
897 | When you said you had 10,000 men, I assumed you were referring to your army. | 1.3699 | 0.04427 | 173 | 118 | 46 | 9 |
898 | I'm afraid you're only a President. | 1.3699 | 0.04930 | 173 | 125 | 32 | 16 |
899 | No, you don’t get a lollipop. | 1.3699 | 0.04577 | 173 | 120 | 42 | 11 |
900 | I am confused by your request. I am not a dentist and you already have a crown. | 1.3699 | 0.04351 | 173 | 117 | 48 | 8 |
901 | It seems that your actually a Queen. | 1.3699 | 0.04721 | 173 | 122 | 38 | 13 |
902 | It seems to be some sort of royal pain... | 1.3699 | 0.04649 | 173 | 121 | 40 | 12 |
903 | Unfortunately, Divine Right does not protect you from from acute sinusitis. | 1.3699 | 0.04577 | 173 | 120 | 42 | 11 |
904 | So, everything is now turning to silver? | 1.3699 | 0.04577 | 173 | 120 | 42 | 11 |
905 | Under health insurance you wrote "food taster"... | 1.3699 | 0.04351 | 173 | 117 | 48 | 8 |
906 | And now this is the time for the Emperor to REALLY have no clothes. | 1.3699 | 0.04577 | 173 | 120 | 42 | 11 |
907 | Emperor’s “new clothes” or not, I still need you to disrobe. Really. | 1.3699 | 0.04861 | 173 | 124 | 34 | 15 |
908 | It's bad news. The colonoscopy confirms you're full of s**t | 1.3690 | 0.04667 | 168 | 117 | 40 | 11 |
909 | And how long has your head been lying uneasily? | 1.3690 | 0.04432 | 168 | 114 | 46 | 8 |
910 | Has anyone in your family been a king? | 1.3688 | 0.05173 | 141 | 99 | 32 | 10 |
911 | It may well have looked a dainty dish, but four and twenty blackbirds have played havoc with your digestion | 1.3687 | 0.04676 | 179 | 127 | 38 | 14 |
912 | Everything seems fine, however, your blood appears to be blue. | 1.3687 | 0.04399 | 179 | 123 | 46 | 10 |
913 | I see here that your temperature is slightly elevated, and you've been perspiring, but I'd just call it a Royal Flush. | 1.3684 | 0.04822 | 152 | 105 | 38 | 9 |
914 | But, Emperor, I do not agree with the other doctor who diagnosed you. I'm here to tell you that you DO have clothes on. | 1.3684 | 0.05171 | 152 | 109 | 30 | 13 |
915 | Well, you just feel like a young man. You're so young. I can't believe it. You're the youngest person. You are a young, vibrant man. | 1.3680 | 0.05851 | 125 | 91 | 22 | 12 |
916 | With your cholesterol, I’d work on being the “Salad King.” | 1.3675 | 0.04625 | 166 | 115 | 41 | 10 |
917 | You should have a dentist look at your crown. | 1.3675 | 0.04703 | 166 | 116 | 39 | 11 |
918 | It appears you will long live. | 1.3675 | 0.04780 | 166 | 117 | 37 | 12 |
919 | Queen, you say? For just one day? | 1.3675 | 0.04856 | 166 | 118 | 35 | 13 |
920 | No , I can't accept serfs as a co-pay. | 1.3675 | 0.04703 | 166 | 116 | 39 | 11 |
921 | Sorry Your Majesty. It’s just the common cold. | 1.3675 | 0.04780 | 166 | 117 | 37 | 12 |
922 | It seems that you're sick with power. | 1.3672 | 0.05305 | 128 | 89 | 31 | 8 |
923 | So, before we review your diagnosis, It would probably be good to make sure that the line of succession is properly established. | 1.3670 | 0.04640 | 188 | 135 | 37 | 16 |
924 | I’m not risking a prostrate exam King Midas. | 1.3669 | 0.05417 | 139 | 100 | 27 | 12 |
925 | This says you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3667 | 0.04519 | 180 | 126 | 42 | 12 |
926 | You've avoided the dentist for 25 years because you didn't want your crown replaced? | 1.3667 | 0.04587 | 180 | 127 | 40 | 13 |
927 | No it’s the same rule: it opens and ties up in the back. | 1.3667 | 0.04450 | 180 | 125 | 44 | 11 |
928 | Well Bob, I think you're royally screwed. | 1.3667 | 0.05909 | 120 | 87 | 22 | 11 |
929 | You seem pretty fit, for a King. | 1.3659 | 0.04497 | 164 | 112 | 44 | 8 |
930 | When did you first experience these delusions of grandeur? | 1.3659 | 0.04818 | 164 | 116 | 36 | 12 |
931 | Well the family jewels look fine but I still need to check out your testicles | 1.3659 | 0.04740 | 164 | 115 | 38 | 11 |
932 | Well, your account has gone to collection, so that pretty much confirms that the grandeur is a delusion. | 1.3659 | 0.04497 | 164 | 112 | 44 | 8 |
933 | Don't worry Sir, unlike our American President, you ARE fully clothed. | 1.3659 | 0.04818 | 164 | 116 | 36 | 12 |
934 | Can you describe this Royal Pain in the Ass? | 1.3659 | 0.04971 | 164 | 118 | 32 | 14 |
935 | I would say "long live the king", but looking at your results... | 1.3659 | 0.04660 | 164 | 114 | 40 | 10 |
936 | Your Highness, the robe should open in the rear please. | 1.3659 | 0.04740 | 164 | 115 | 38 | 11 |
937 | It appears you have a small uprising in your pancreas." | 1.3659 | 0.04818 | 164 | 116 | 36 | 12 |
938 | It is a bit irregular, but of course I can use the term 'crown jewels' if you prefer. | 1.3659 | 0.04818 | 164 | 116 | 36 | 12 |
939 | Very common actually. In fact you’re my third royal pain in the ass this week. | 1.3659 | 0.04971 | 164 | 118 | 32 | 14 |
940 | We're going to have to remove the crown jewels. | 1.3659 | 0.04579 | 164 | 113 | 42 | 9 |
941 | There is a treatment, but it'll cost you a King's ransom | 1.3659 | 0.04497 | 164 | 112 | 44 | 8 |
942 | Yes, Mr. President, I do insist on the therapy at this point. | 1.3659 | 0.05045 | 164 | 119 | 30 | 15 |
943 | Despite your title, your Majesty, it is not good to have a king-sized prostate. | 1.3659 | 0.04818 | 164 | 116 | 36 | 12 |
944 | Your family history indicates your condition may be hereditary. | 1.3659 | 0.04660 | 164 | 114 | 40 | 10 |
945 | I found your missing sceptre. | 1.3659 | 0.04660 | 164 | 114 | 40 | 10 |
946 | You put the robe on backwards. | 1.3656 | 0.04673 | 186 | 134 | 36 | 16 |
947 | It says here you remember being a frog. | 1.3653 | 0.04680 | 167 | 117 | 39 | 11 |
948 | I'm sorry Your Highness but we no longer accept coin of the realm. | 1.3653 | 0.04832 | 167 | 119 | 35 | 13 |
949 | What's your line of succession situation looking like? | 1.3642 | 0.04935 | 162 | 116 | 33 | 13 |
950 | Cut back on the mead. | 1.3642 | 0.04777 | 162 | 114 | 37 | 11 |
951 | Recovery will be slow; you’ll have to take it one square at a time. | 1.3642 | 0.04856 | 162 | 115 | 35 | 12 |
952 | Well you may have pulled that sword out of the stone, but it looks like you’ve also got a hernia. | 1.3631 | 0.05025 | 168 | 123 | 29 | 16 |
953 | I'm afraid your x-rays indicate a deviated scepter. | 1.3631 | 0.04954 | 168 | 122 | 31 | 15 |
954 | Yes, we give everyone the royal treatment | 1.3631 | 0.04808 | 168 | 120 | 35 | 13 |
955 | Your scepter is where? | 1.3629 | 0.05649 | 124 | 89 | 25 | 10 |
956 | I appreciate the offer but no, I'm not interested in a cabinet slot and yes, you're still obese. | 1.3626 | 0.04890 | 171 | 124 | 32 | 15 |
957 | I see you have a family history of beheadings. | 1.3625 | 0.04975 | 160 | 115 | 32 | 13 |
958 | The chart from your referring physician has 'Royal Pain' highlighted and underlined several times. | 1.3625 | 0.05054 | 160 | 116 | 30 | 14 |
959 | I’m sorry,... but Mr Dumpty didn’t make it. | 1.3625 | 0.04732 | 160 | 112 | 38 | 10 |
960 | We'll on the positive side Midas, looks like we wont be needing to issue any more prescriptions for Viagra. | 1.3625 | 0.04815 | 160 | 113 | 36 | 11 |
961 | Show me on the chart where King Midas touched you | 1.3625 | 0.04975 | 160 | 115 | 32 | 13 |
962 | Asking you to disrobe won't mean you are abdicating. | 1.3625 | 0.04649 | 160 | 111 | 40 | 9 |
963 | Regardless, it’s still called “Nursemaid’s Knee”. | 1.3625 | 0.04815 | 160 | 113 | 36 | 11 |
964 | Really hate to tell you this, but it looks like the royal treatment didn’t work. | 1.3625 | 0.04975 | 160 | 115 | 32 | 13 |
965 | I'm sorry, but the lab report has confirmed you do not in fact have a merry old soul. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
966 | No sir, an elective procedure has nothing to do with letting 'the peasants' vote. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
967 | Do you go to the throne in the middle of the night? | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
968 | I think we can solve your digestive problems with a royal flush. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
969 | According to your insurance company, "royal pain" is not covered. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
970 | Good news. The urine test came back as the royal wee. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
971 | I said 'Disrobe.' | 1.3620 | 0.05061 | 163 | 119 | 29 | 15 |
972 | Get plenty of rest, and try to avoid sitting on any walls. | 1.3620 | 0.04590 | 163 | 113 | 41 | 9 |
973 | The results of your tests show you to be the second healthiest person on earth. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
974 | I don’t doubt that he’s willing, your majesty, but I’m afraid that having your groom undergo the colonoscopy for you is just not an option... | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
975 | You’re allergic to your robe. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
976 | You have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
977 | You can keep the bowl and the fiddlers, but the pipe has to go. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
978 | No, I said you ARE a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.05061 | 163 | 119 | 29 | 15 |
979 | Huh. It says that "we" have the measles. | 1.3620 | 0.04590 | 163 | 113 | 41 | 9 |
980 | Yes it is, and it's king-sized. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
981 | So...you're saying that everyone else sees your clothes, but you don't? | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
982 | I know you are the King, but once a knight is enough. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
983 | It appears you're way overdue for the royal flush. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
984 | You have blue blood. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
985 | Well, I'm sorry, but sovereign immunity is only a legal concept. | 1.3620 | 0.05136 | 163 | 120 | 27 | 16 |
986 | Is there any woman in the realm that we don't have to contact? | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
987 | I can see why you were concerned about the crown jewels. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
988 | How long have you had this royal pain in your ass? | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
989 | You’ve got a royal staff infection. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
990 | Long live the king might be a bit premature. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
991 | 'The test results show that you're royally screwed." | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
992 | The lab came back with "checkmate". | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
993 | You’re fine. It’s Lionheartburn. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
994 | To be honest I only dress like a doctor. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
995 | I'm afraid the test results show you suffer from a superiority complex. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
996 | 'Your head is lying uneasy, we suspect the cause is your crown.' | 1.3620 | 0.05061 | 163 | 119 | 29 | 15 |
997 | Ok, Your Majesty, this is a bit awkward but, about that royal pain in the ass... | 1.3620 | 0.04422 | 163 | 111 | 45 | 7 |
998 | And just how much time are you spending on the throne? | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
999 | This is what we call a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.04507 | 163 | 112 | 43 | 8 |
1000 | It's perfectly normal to wake up in the morning feeling feudal. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1001 | Thy penchant for meade hath rendered thee crapulent. | 1.3620 | 0.05061 | 163 | 119 | 29 | 15 |
1002 | Could you please disrobe? | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1003 | You should't have glued it on. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
1004 | Hum, your tests results actually do show you have blue blood. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
1005 | I'm afraid you'll have to switch to peasant-sized candy bars. | 1.3620 | 0.04753 | 163 | 115 | 37 | 11 |
1006 | Looking at your family history, you're at an increased risk for premature beheading. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1007 | I can't turn it back from gold, but you can use it to pay your deductible. | 1.3620 | 0.04590 | 163 | 113 | 41 | 9 |
1008 | Unfortunately, it has to do with your family jewels. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1009 | Here are the test results. You're royally screwed. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1010 | I'm afraid you've got a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.05136 | 163 | 120 | 27 | 16 |
1011 | I think you need to see a dentist. Your crown needs to be replaced. | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1012 | You know the old mantra, 'long live the king'? | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1013 | Before we discuss your DNA ancestry results, can I ask what possessed you to order them? | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
1014 | I don't think all your horses and men can get you out of this one. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1015 | There is currently no known cure for a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
1016 | Normally I’d recommend chemotherapy. But in your case, I’m thinking let’s give leeches a try. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
1017 | I didn’t say you ARE one, I said you HAVE one. | 1.3620 | 0.04590 | 163 | 113 | 41 | 9 |
1018 | You have a deviated scepter. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1019 | Hmm... I'd like to run some more tests on your wenceslas. | 1.3620 | 0.05352 | 163 | 123 | 21 | 19 |
1020 | Of course I’ve chosen my heir... why do you ask?! | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
1021 | Well, the tests have confirmed it, sir. You do have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3620 | 0.04909 | 163 | 117 | 33 | 13 |
1022 | So, you’ve been spending a lot of time on the throne? | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1023 | The x-rays confirm recent speculation, your highness: no indication of a heart. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
1024 | After you drink the colonoscopy prep liquid, stay close to the throne. | 1.3620 | 0.04672 | 163 | 114 | 39 | 10 |
1025 | Your checkup has turned into a checkmate. | 1.3620 | 0.05061 | 163 | 119 | 29 | 15 |
1026 | Sure. We'll call it king-size. | 1.3620 | 0.04986 | 163 | 118 | 31 | 14 |
1027 | I am to surgically remove your opposition? | 1.3620 | 0.04832 | 163 | 116 | 35 | 12 |
1028 | Where exactly is your royal pain? | 1.3620 | 0.04590 | 163 | 113 | 41 | 9 |
1029 | Well, let me put it this way: All of your horses and all of your men would have the same problem with you. | 1.3609 | 0.05000 | 169 | 124 | 29 | 16 |
1030 | First the good news. I believe the prince is already competent to rule. | 1.3609 | 0.04784 | 169 | 121 | 35 | 13 |
1031 | The technical term is 'prostate exam', but sure, if you insist, we can call it a 'royal pain in the ass'... | 1.3608 | 0.05175 | 158 | 116 | 27 | 15 |
1032 | Severe frostbite in both feet, Mr. Wenceslas " | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1033 | You seem to have a royal flush. | 1.3608 | 0.04936 | 158 | 113 | 33 | 12 |
1034 | The tests show you suffer from excessive Delusions of Grandeur. You're not only not a king, you're a really lousy President. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1035 | Your Majesty, the 'family jewels' on your head are not the ones I need to check. | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1036 | So you spend a lot of time on the throne? | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1037 | Take it slow for now... try not to move more than one square at a time. | 1.3608 | 0.04770 | 158 | 111 | 37 | 10 |
1038 | Good news, you'll live to see your kingdom collapse. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
1039 | Mr. President, you’re going to have to remove your robe. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
1040 | The nurses thought our patients felt too vulnerable in the regular hospital gowns. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1041 | Well, these numbers officially qualify you as “Old” King Cole. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1042 | Unfortunately, it's a hereditary condition | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1043 | I'm going to need the robe to open to the back... | 1.3608 | 0.04419 | 158 | 107 | 45 | 6 |
1044 | I'm sorry your Highness, but even the royal hospital gown must be worn to open in the back. | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1045 | I'm sorry, but it's still just a common cold. | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1046 | Sorry, your Majesty, it's about the other crown jewels. | 1.3608 | 0.04936 | 158 | 113 | 33 | 12 |
1047 | I think you should go back to your old career, Santa. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
1048 | I'm sorry, but the x-ray shows that except for the robe you have no clothes. | 1.3608 | 0.04770 | 158 | 111 | 37 | 10 |
1049 | I’m afraid your insurance does not cover the royal treatment. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1050 | It seems like you had it your way one too many times. | 1.3608 | 0.04598 | 158 | 109 | 41 | 8 |
1051 | I'm sorry, your Majesty. It's a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1052 | Midas, you have to stop playing with yourself. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
1053 | Before I give the results, what exactly qualifies as 'bearer of bad news'? | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1054 | Pomp and circumstance is fine...but in moderation. | 1.3608 | 0.04770 | 158 | 111 | 37 | 10 |
1055 | Bad news, I’m afraid. You have the common cold. | 1.3608 | 0.04770 | 158 | 111 | 37 | 10 |
1056 | Mmm, I see. You have a royal pain in the ass? | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1057 | You have to wear a paper gown just like everyone else. | 1.3608 | 0.04936 | 158 | 113 | 33 | 12 |
1058 | Since you didn't adopt Medicare, this will probably come to about half your kingdom. | 1.3608 | 0.05097 | 158 | 115 | 29 | 14 |
1059 | So you say you're spending too much time on the throne. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1060 | Well, delusions of being a king -in a democracy- used to be a rare disorder... | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1061 | Too much time on the throne? | 1.3608 | 0.04854 | 158 | 112 | 35 | 11 |
1062 | The Royal We needs to eat less and exercise more. | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1063 | Do you want the good proclamation or the bad proclamation? | 1.3608 | 0.04419 | 158 | 107 | 45 | 6 |
1064 | No mention of blue blood in your lab tests. | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1065 | Somewhere in an alternate universe...a King suffers from the delusion that he is Donald Trump | 1.3608 | 0.05404 | 158 | 119 | 21 | 18 |
1066 | I’m afraid you’ve been a little too merry, your Majesty. | 1.3608 | 0.04936 | 158 | 113 | 33 | 12 |
1067 | We need to get your peasant numbers down. | 1.3608 | 0.04598 | 158 | 109 | 41 | 8 |
1068 | The queen says I have a problem with kingdom comes. | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1069 | Too many Whoppers! | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1070 | It appears you inherited the disorder from your father. | 1.3608 | 0.05404 | 158 | 119 | 21 | 18 |
1071 | What you have is an inherited condition. | 1.3608 | 0.05017 | 158 | 114 | 31 | 13 |
1072 | The deductible is half your kingdom. | 1.3608 | 0.04685 | 158 | 110 | 39 | 9 |
1073 | Is the crown always on when you get a headache? | 1.3605 | 0.04578 | 172 | 121 | 40 | 11 |
1074 | Have you chosen your successor? | 1.3602 | 0.04708 | 161 | 113 | 38 | 10 |
1075 | Just out of curiosity, who is next in line for the throne? | 1.3602 | 0.04870 | 161 | 115 | 34 | 12 |
1076 | The nurses insisted we get nicer robes, but I think the crown might be a bit much. | 1.3602 | 0.04870 | 161 | 115 | 34 | 12 |
1077 | This too, shall pass. | 1.3595 | 0.04601 | 153 | 105 | 41 | 7 |
1078 | Your blood test shows you really have blue blood. | 1.3595 | 0.04784 | 153 | 107 | 37 | 9 |
1079 | Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover the royal treatment. | 1.3595 | 0.05047 | 153 | 110 | 31 | 12 |
1080 | And now, if Your Majesty will turn around, it’s time for our tour of the Royal Dungeon.” | 1.3595 | 0.05131 | 153 | 111 | 29 | 13 |
1081 | The good news is democracy is dead and you're not | 1.3595 | 0.04784 | 153 | 107 | 37 | 9 |
1082 | You're a tolltaker, Mr. Johnson, so my diagnosis is "Delusions of Grandeur." | 1.3595 | 0.04784 | 153 | 107 | 37 | 9 |
1083 | I must repeat my warnings not to touch it Mr Midas | 1.3595 | 0.05047 | 153 | 110 | 31 | 12 |
1084 | John, I know it's Halloween but... | 1.3595 | 0.04873 | 153 | 108 | 35 | 10 |
1085 | It's not a nothing burger. Your cholesterol is a real whopper. | 1.3595 | 0.05047 | 153 | 110 | 31 | 12 |
1086 | Your blood pressure is through the roof. You need to stop stressing about McDonalds and Wendy's. | 1.3595 | 0.05131 | 153 | 111 | 29 | 13 |
1087 | I see you’ve been tasting your own food. | 1.3595 | 0.04961 | 153 | 109 | 33 | 11 |
1088 | You know about long live the king? Well... | 1.3595 | 0.04693 | 153 | 106 | 39 | 8 |
1089 | And how often do you call for your pipe? | 1.3590 | 0.04893 | 156 | 111 | 34 | 11 |
1090 | And about how many times a week are you on the throne? | 1.3590 | 0.04543 | 156 | 107 | 42 | 7 |
1091 | I'm so sorry your majesty, but blackbird pie is not part of a low-cal diet | 1.3590 | 0.04721 | 156 | 109 | 38 | 9 |
1092 | Tell the New Yorker editor that he needs to spend more time correcting the typos in these caption contests. | 1.3590 | 0.05453 | 156 | 118 | 20 | 18 |
1093 | We've run the DNA test. Jack is not your son, but the joker is. | 1.3590 | 0.04893 | 156 | 111 | 34 | 11 |
1094 | You can call for your bowl, and your fiddlers three, but forget that pipe. | 1.3590 | 0.04893 | 156 | 111 | 34 | 11 |
1095 | I guess it wasn't her prima nocta after all. | 1.3590 | 0.04808 | 156 | 110 | 36 | 10 |
1096 | And how often does this happen when your on the throne? | 1.3590 | 0.04808 | 156 | 110 | 36 | 10 |
1097 | Delusions of grandeur notwithstanding, I'm afraid your siring days are over. | 1.3590 | 0.04721 | 156 | 109 | 38 | 9 |
1098 | I'm afraid your ego will have to be removed. | 1.3590 | 0.05141 | 156 | 114 | 28 | 14 |
1099 | On a scale of 1 to 10, how much sharper than a serpent's tooth be it? | 1.3590 | 0.05141 | 156 | 114 | 28 | 14 |
1100 | Let’s just say things are looking good for your son’s promotion | 1.3590 | 0.04977 | 156 | 112 | 32 | 12 |
1101 | The procedure is illegal. However, because you have the power to pardon, we will proceed. | 1.3590 | 0.04543 | 156 | 107 | 42 | 7 |
1102 | I've got your test results and I am afraid "long live the king" might be a tad optimistic | 1.3585 | 0.04910 | 159 | 114 | 33 | 12 |
1103 | How many times a week do you typically pillage and plunder? | 1.3585 | 0.05070 | 159 | 116 | 29 | 14 |
1104 | The test results are in; you ARE a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3578 | 0.06322 | 109 | 81 | 17 | 11 |
1105 | The analysis shows that your blood is red, not blue. So the diagnosis is that you are not king, but color blind. | 1.3576 | 0.05176 | 151 | 110 | 28 | 13 |
1106 | And who is your insurance provider? | 1.3571 | 0.04759 | 154 | 108 | 37 | 9 |
1107 | No, your insurance does not cover taste testers for your prescriptions! | 1.3571 | 0.05103 | 154 | 112 | 29 | 13 |
1108 | Heavy IS the head that wears the crown and slipped are the discs in your spine. | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1109 | I'm afraid your highness, it's the common cold. | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1110 | Fortunately, your prostate numbers are low and your prostrate numbers are high. | 1.3571 | 0.04759 | 154 | 108 | 37 | 9 |
1111 | Have it your way. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1112 | I understand you've had bad experiences being naked in public, but I do need you to undress for the exam. | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1113 | Crohn's, not crowns. | 1.3571 | 0.05186 | 154 | 113 | 27 | 14 |
1114 | We still need to see your insurance card. | 1.3571 | 0.05103 | 154 | 112 | 29 | 13 |
1115 | Congratulations, on finally getting health insurance. | 1.3571 | 0.04847 | 154 | 109 | 35 | 10 |
1116 | Mr. Jones, that is not the robe we left out for you. | 1.3571 | 0.05103 | 154 | 112 | 29 | 13 |
1117 | Well first I'd recommend you cut out the Imperial margarine | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1118 | Looks like a textbook case of Type II Noblesse Oblige. | 1.3571 | 0.04387 | 154 | 104 | 45 | 5 |
1119 | Says here you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3571 | 0.04759 | 154 | 108 | 37 | 9 |
1120 | I'm sorry, but this says that you are out of network. | 1.3571 | 0.04847 | 154 | 109 | 35 | 10 |
1121 | On the plus side, they do call gout the "king's disease." | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1122 | It’s not as painful as having a red-hot poker inserted into your posterior as befell your ancestor King Edward II - but it could sting. | 1.3571 | 0.04847 | 154 | 109 | 35 | 10 |
1123 | It's called "irritable crown" syndrome. | 1.3571 | 0.04759 | 154 | 108 | 37 | 9 |
1124 | We're hoping these new gowns will help patients feel less vulnerable | 1.3571 | 0.04577 | 154 | 106 | 41 | 7 |
1125 | Would you mind putting the robe on backwards? | 1.3571 | 0.04483 | 154 | 105 | 43 | 6 |
1126 | I'm afraid you're suffering from 'Trump Syndrome'. Very common these days. | 1.3571 | 0.05103 | 154 | 112 | 29 | 13 |
1127 | King Shming. You are NOT allowed to bring your own examination gown. | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1128 | As I predicted, your blood isn’t actually blue. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1129 | Let's hold off on anymore 'empire-expansion,' until that blood pressure settles down a little bit. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1130 | I hate to break it to you, but 'long live the King' isn't going to apply to you" | 1.3571 | 0.05186 | 154 | 113 | 27 | 14 |
1131 | It’s called Trump Syndrome | 1.3571 | 0.05186 | 154 | 113 | 27 | 14 |
1132 | I’m sorry, Your Majesty, the jester shouldn’t take the prostrate exam for you. | 1.3571 | 0.04759 | 154 | 108 | 37 | 9 |
1133 | It says here, that you are blackbird intolerant. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1134 | Well, the good news is your clothes are real. | 1.3571 | 0.04483 | 154 | 105 | 43 | 6 |
1135 | On a scale from 0 to 10 how bad is your Royal pain in the ass today? | 1.3571 | 0.04847 | 154 | 109 | 35 | 10 |
1136 | Gout" is probably not your real issue here, Mr. Finkelstei | 1.3571 | 0.05267 | 154 | 114 | 25 | 15 |
1137 | Unfortunately your cardiogram reveals an incipient interregnum. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1138 | According to the files, you’re adopted! | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1139 | What you're describing sounds like a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3571 | 0.05019 | 154 | 111 | 31 | 12 |
1140 | Brace yourself, it’s a whopper. | 1.3571 | 0.05019 | 154 | 111 | 31 | 12 |
1141 | Your people do prostrate themselves, but that's not exactly what I had in mind. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1142 | 'Check up?'.. No, I am afraid it says 'checkmate'. | 1.3571 | 0.04669 | 154 | 107 | 39 | 8 |
1143 | The initial tests revealed no obvious heart weakness, but I'm afraid it is as you suspected: you've been trumped. | 1.3571 | 0.04934 | 154 | 110 | 33 | 11 |
1144 | I’ll need Your Highness to put that robe on with the opening to the backside, alright? | 1.3571 | 0.04847 | 154 | 109 | 35 | 10 |
1145 | You must tell my subjects that I am the healthiest individual ever chosen to be King. | 1.3571 | 0.05186 | 154 | 113 | 27 | 14 |
1146 | The royal jewels need a little help. I'll write a prescription. | 1.3567 | 0.04783 | 157 | 111 | 36 | 10 |
1147 | And tell me — what kind of work do you do? | 1.3567 | 0.04867 | 157 | 112 | 34 | 11 |
1148 | What was your preferred pronoun? | 1.3567 | 0.04783 | 157 | 111 | 36 | 10 |
1149 | I'm telling you -- contrary to what you think, blue blood is NOT a good sign. | 1.3567 | 0.04867 | 157 | 112 | 34 | 11 |
1150 | Have you considered a career outside of fast food? | 1.3567 | 0.04951 | 157 | 113 | 32 | 12 |
1151 | About this golden touch...you know it applies to everything, right? | 1.3567 | 0.04867 | 157 | 112 | 34 | 11 |
1152 | I figured out your diagnosis - you don’t have a jolly old soul. | 1.3567 | 0.04697 | 157 | 110 | 38 | 9 |
1153 | Are you sure you want your DNA results? | 1.3567 | 0.04697 | 157 | 110 | 38 | 9 |
1154 | About your coronated arteries... | 1.3550 | 0.04389 | 169 | 117 | 44 | 8 |
1155 | You are allergic to ermine... | 1.3548 | 0.04907 | 155 | 111 | 33 | 11 |
1156 | Time for a new food taster. | 1.3548 | 0.04907 | 155 | 111 | 33 | 11 |
1157 | Looking at your charts, and Article 1 Section 9.4 of the Constitution, you're lucky to still be here. | 1.3548 | 0.04907 | 155 | 111 | 33 | 11 |
1158 | I'm sorry your majesty, you will have to wear the Royal robe so it opens in the back. | 1.3548 | 0.04460 | 155 | 106 | 43 | 6 |
1159 | Yes, a royal pain would be job related. You can file a claim. | 1.3548 | 0.04992 | 155 | 112 | 31 | 12 |
1160 | These stabbing pains your getting, could they be coming from your heirs? | 1.3544 | 0.04758 | 158 | 112 | 36 | 10 |
1161 | Sire, shall I prostrate myself before checking your prostate? | 1.3533 | 0.04836 | 150 | 106 | 35 | 9 |
1162 | according to these tests, you are only 1/1024 Native American. | 1.3533 | 0.05106 | 150 | 109 | 29 | 12 |
1163 | Congratulations! Due to your recent weight loss we no long have to refer to you as in the royal we. | 1.3529 | 0.06017 | 102 | 73 | 22 | 7 |
1164 | Tell you what, Midas, if you just touch a few more things in here, I’ll waive the bill. | 1.3529 | 0.04680 | 153 | 107 | 38 | 8 |
1165 | Now you’re in my counting house. | 1.3529 | 0.05796 | 119 | 87 | 22 | 10 |
1166 | Cut down on that blackbird pie: it's undercooked and explains that stomach warbling. | 1.3525 | 0.05573 | 122 | 88 | 25 | 9 |
1167 | Do you have insurance?" | 1.3516 | 0.05611 | 128 | 94 | 23 | 11 |
1168 | Unfortunately, you're out of network. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1169 | I'm sorry, but your HMO denied your claim to the throne. | 1.3510 | 0.05249 | 151 | 112 | 25 | 14 |
1170 | It's really your call whether or not to include your bastards as next of kin. | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1171 | I'm afraid it's checkmate this time. | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1172 | I'm afraid to have to inform Your Majesty that there are side-effects to being a merry old soul. | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1173 | I'm afraid it's checkmate in two | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1174 | You've got heirs, right? | 1.3510 | 0.05078 | 151 | 110 | 29 | 12 |
1175 | I'd like you to see a Middle Ages specialist. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1176 | Turns out that being a Royal pain-in-the-ass isn't covered by insurance. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1177 | I don't care if you are king, it's still time for the finger. | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1178 | You say you passed a golden what!? | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1179 | I know you're the king but the people may insist on seeing this report without all the redactions | 1.3510 | 0.05332 | 151 | 113 | 23 | 15 |
1180 | It's not the delusions I'm worried about as much as the abuse of power. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1181 | I'm afraid it's checkmate! | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1182 | Well, yes, it can be hereditary. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1183 | No, I mean your blood is actually blue. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1184 | I'm sorry to say that your blood is the same as the people | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1185 | I know who you are, but it’s just a common cold. | 1.3510 | 0.05332 | 151 | 113 | 23 | 15 |
1186 | I'm afraid this is not the kind of stone you can pull a sword out of. | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1187 | Which throne are you talking about? | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1188 | We’re recommending a complete coronoscopy. | 1.3510 | 0.05078 | 151 | 110 | 29 | 12 |
1189 | Are you certain you live in the White House? | 1.3510 | 0.05249 | 151 | 112 | 25 | 14 |
1190 | Unfortunately, the Round Table let its group health plan lapse. | 1.3510 | 0.05164 | 151 | 111 | 27 | 13 |
1191 | You're the second healthiest person in the world | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1192 | It's not just you — absolute monarchy as a concept is dying. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1193 | I can be discrete and designate the hemorrhoids as 'Royal pain-in-the-ass' if you'd prefer, Your Highness. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1194 | ...in your crown jewels you say? | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1195 | Despite the findings of my esteemed colleagues at 23 and me, your blood is neither blue nor regal, I'm afraid. Just 'O' negative. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1196 | OK, I guess it is similar, but I’d still prefer you wear the gown we gave you | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1197 | That scepter's not coming out without some surgery. | 1.3510 | 0.05164 | 151 | 111 | 27 | 13 |
1198 | When I told you that you need a crown I meant to go to your dentist. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1199 | It appears you have an autocratic-immune disorder. | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1200 | I'm afraid "bloodletting" is no longer being covered by your HMO. | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1201 | How long have you had this "uneasy head" pain? | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1202 | I'm afraid you have a developing constitution | 1.3510 | 0.05164 | 151 | 111 | 27 | 13 |
1203 | We need to talk about your family Jewels... | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1204 | I am sorry, but it’s time for you to call for your fiddlers three. | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1205 | Yes, you can be a king and a Republican, your problem is cholesterol, though | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1206 | There's not much that we can do about your blue blood. It seems to be genetic. | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1207 | Well, King you have hemorrhoids...or as you put it 'a royal pain in the ass' | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1208 | Let them eat cake in moderation. | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1209 | There's no easy way to say this. I'm afraid it's checkmate. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1210 | Turns out, it's not so great to be the king. | 1.3510 | 0.05249 | 151 | 112 | 25 | 14 |
1211 | It's just the commoner cold. | 1.3510 | 0.05249 | 151 | 112 | 25 | 14 |
1212 | Pardon me, Your Highness, but I think issues with the family jewels should be discussed with His Majesty's Royal Gemologist. | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1213 | Your results came back, would you like them positive or negative? | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1214 | Medically speaking, what you have is a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3510 | 0.05164 | 151 | 111 | 27 | 13 |
1215 | You do look good Arthur, but it’s time to ease away from that round table. | 1.3510 | 0.05078 | 151 | 110 | 29 | 12 |
1216 | Sorry, "Delusions of Grandeur" is a pre-existing condition. | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1217 | Sharp? Dull? Stabbing? Throbbing? What do you mean exactly by "royal pain"? | 1.3510 | 0.04990 | 151 | 109 | 31 | 11 |
1218 | You're not a merry young soul anymore. | 1.3510 | 0.04810 | 151 | 107 | 35 | 9 |
1219 | A daily dose for a week should 'crush the rebellion,' as you say | 1.3510 | 0.04622 | 151 | 105 | 39 | 7 |
1220 | I do not believe we have a cure for "A Royal pain in the butt." | 1.3510 | 0.04717 | 151 | 106 | 37 | 8 |
1221 | Once we started charging concierge service prices we couldn't just provide a plain paper gown. | 1.3510 | 0.05164 | 151 | 111 | 27 | 13 |
1222 | I’m sorry Your Highness, the royal insurance only covers gout and the Plague. | 1.3510 | 0.04901 | 151 | 108 | 33 | 10 |
1223 | Without a doubt, your Majesty, I can confirm that my fee will definitely be a tad more than two chickens and a bushel of apples. | 1.3496 | 0.05288 | 123 | 87 | 29 | 7 |
1224 | Follow up in 100 years. | 1.3496 | 0.05288 | 123 | 87 | 29 | 7 |
1225 | Sorry, but your subjects' insurance plan doesn't cover dependents. | 1.3496 | 0.05654 | 123 | 90 | 23 | 10 |
1226 | Well, you've got a King sized prostate too. | 1.3493 | 0.05012 | 146 | 105 | 31 | 10 |
1227 | When I said you needed a crown, I was talking about your tooth! | 1.3493 | 0.05012 | 146 | 105 | 31 | 10 |
1228 | That’s not the robe I asked you to put on | 1.3490 | 0.04942 | 149 | 107 | 32 | 10 |
1229 | Last month you were Santa Claus. I think you’re getting better. | 1.3490 | 0.04658 | 149 | 104 | 38 | 7 |
1230 | The crown jewels appear to be normal. | 1.3490 | 0.04755 | 149 | 105 | 36 | 8 |
1231 | Chosen by god isn’t a good insurance policy | 1.3490 | 0.04942 | 149 | 107 | 32 | 10 |
1232 | So you say you're having trouble raising your royal scepter? | 1.3490 | 0.04459 | 149 | 102 | 42 | 5 |
1233 | I suspect you're suffering from delusions of grandeur. | 1.3490 | 0.04658 | 149 | 104 | 38 | 7 |
1234 | I think it will be okay to keep your bowl and your fiddlers three, but I would suggest you give up the pipe. | 1.3490 | 0.04849 | 149 | 106 | 34 | 9 |
1235 | I must say, that’s the best looking crown I’ve ever seen...Who’s your dentist? | 1.3490 | 0.05122 | 149 | 109 | 28 | 12 |
1236 | Your dysfunctional crown jewels are preventing you from getting royally screwed. | 1.3469 | 0.05345 | 147 | 110 | 23 | 14 |
1237 | The good news is, according to these tests, your rightful place IS on the throne.. | 1.3469 | 0.04793 | 147 | 104 | 35 | 8 |
1238 | You are, without a doubt, the healthiest individual I have ever examined! | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1239 | Let's just say you probably don't want to release these results to the public. | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1240 | You have the best health of any king who ever lived, but you need to stop worrying about building a tower in Moscow! | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1241 | Does the Queen Mother know you want a vasectomy? | 1.3469 | 0.05345 | 147 | 110 | 23 | 14 |
1242 | You must put aside your pipe and your bowl. You may keep your fiddlers three. | 1.3469 | 0.04695 | 147 | 103 | 37 | 7 |
1243 | Sharp as a serpent's tooth you say. | 1.3469 | 0.04387 | 147 | 100 | 43 | 4 |
1244 | Charles, your mother is fine. | 1.3469 | 0.05076 | 147 | 107 | 29 | 11 |
1245 | Your co-pay is a king's ransom | 1.3469 | 0.05431 | 147 | 111 | 21 | 15 |
1246 | Seems to me you have a touch of the Midas. | 1.3469 | 0.04595 | 147 | 102 | 39 | 6 |
1247 | No, there's no cure for decapitation. | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1248 | We've upgraded the hospital gowns for people who pay in cash | 1.3469 | 0.05076 | 147 | 107 | 29 | 11 |
1249 | The DNA test is back; you're not the heir. | 1.3469 | 0.04793 | 147 | 104 | 35 | 8 |
1250 | This is the worst case of anachronism I've ever seen. | 1.3469 | 0.05167 | 147 | 108 | 27 | 12 |
1251 | Well, the good news is that your soul is still merry. | 1.3469 | 0.04793 | 147 | 104 | 35 | 8 |
1252 | Before I perform a colonoscopy, you may want to use the throne. | 1.3469 | 0.04889 | 147 | 105 | 33 | 9 |
1253 | Look Midas, I warned you before that masturbation wasn’t a good idea | 1.3469 | 0.05257 | 147 | 109 | 25 | 13 |
1254 | It's the worst case of Throne's Disease I've ever seen. | 1.3469 | 0.04793 | 147 | 104 | 35 | 8 |
1255 | I'm sorry but apparently inherited royalty counts as a pre-existing condition, so they've turned down your coverage. | 1.3469 | 0.04889 | 147 | 105 | 33 | 9 |
1256 | Pain in the ass is actually quite common in your demographic. | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1257 | Sorry. No coverage for crown removal | 1.3469 | 0.05076 | 147 | 107 | 29 | 11 |
1258 | You describe this as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3469 | 0.05257 | 147 | 109 | 25 | 13 |
1259 | Well, you’re fit but not for a king. | 1.3469 | 0.05167 | 147 | 108 | 27 | 12 |
1260 | Get rid of the pipe and the bowl, but you can keep the fiddlers. | 1.3469 | 0.04280 | 147 | 99 | 45 | 3 |
1261 | No, it's just a regular pain in the ass. | 1.3469 | 0.04889 | 147 | 105 | 33 | 9 |
1262 | It says here that you've lost your touch. | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1263 | Midas, you're way overweight. How many times a week do you touch yourself? | 1.3469 | 0.04889 | 147 | 105 | 33 | 9 |
1264 | As best as I can tell,you actually have a royal pain in the ass | 1.3469 | 0.04984 | 147 | 106 | 31 | 10 |
1265 | I think that your hemorrhoids are the result of your sitting on the throne too long | 1.3469 | 0.04889 | 147 | 105 | 33 | 9 |
1266 | I’m not sure ‘deductible waived by royal decree’ is going to fly. | 1.3469 | 0.05076 | 147 | 107 | 29 | 11 |
1267 | Let me get this straight, under diet you've put "100% flame grilled beef"? | 1.3469 | 0.05167 | 147 | 108 | 27 | 12 |
1268 | I’d relinquish the throne for something more ergonomic. | 1.3468 | 0.05377 | 124 | 89 | 27 | 8 |
1269 | According to this chart, you're sitting on the source of your pain. | 1.3468 | 0.05497 | 124 | 90 | 25 | 9 |
1270 | You seem to be suffering from a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3468 | 0.05615 | 124 | 91 | 23 | 10 |
1271 | So....do you have a succession plan in place? | 1.3467 | 0.04822 | 150 | 107 | 34 | 9 |
1272 | Your 23 and Me is not going to make the prince happy. | 1.3448 | 0.05121 | 145 | 106 | 28 | 11 |
1273 | Well, if you didn't wear it so much, your head wouldn't lie so uneasy. | 1.3448 | 0.04525 | 145 | 100 | 40 | 5 |
1274 | You have a royal pain. | 1.3448 | 0.04732 | 145 | 102 | 36 | 7 |
1275 | As I explained, Sir, you didn’t win the popular vote, you won the Electoral College. | 1.3448 | 0.04832 | 145 | 103 | 34 | 8 |
1276 | Unfortunately we seem to have different ideas of "coronary." | 1.3448 | 0.04930 | 145 | 104 | 32 | 9 |
1277 | It looks like it may be Crown's disease. | 1.3448 | 0.05352 | 116 | 82 | 28 | 6 |
1278 | This is your invoice, Mr. Midas. You're going to need that golden touch after all. | 1.3446 | 0.04862 | 148 | 106 | 33 | 9 |
1279 | Yes Sir, your crown jewels are fine" | 1.3446 | 0.04862 | 148 | 106 | 33 | 9 |
1280 | King Crabs, but feel free to get a second opinion. | 1.3446 | 0.04955 | 148 | 107 | 31 | 10 |
1281 | Suffice it to say the crown jewels are diminished. | 1.3446 | 0.04669 | 148 | 104 | 37 | 7 |
1282 | Well your blood test came back. A nice shade of royal blue | 1.3446 | 0.04766 | 148 | 105 | 35 | 8 |
1283 | I'm afraid your days of living like a king are over. | 1.3446 | 0.04862 | 148 | 106 | 33 | 9 |
1284 | Not to worry. ‘Blue Blood’ is just an expression | 1.3446 | 0.04862 | 148 | 106 | 33 | 9 |
1285 | According to these tests, you have a royal pain in the butt. | 1.3446 | 0.05226 | 148 | 110 | 25 | 13 |
1286 | your last doc refers to you here as a royal pain in the ass | 1.3446 | 0.05226 | 148 | 110 | 25 | 13 |
1287 | Your blood work may explain that blue feeling you've been having. | 1.3446 | 0.04955 | 148 | 107 | 31 | 10 |
1288 | I’m afraid that means I’ll have to catheterize the royal “we.” | 1.3446 | 0.04669 | 148 | 104 | 37 | 7 |
1289 | My diagnosis: avoid Burger King for a while. | 1.3441 | 0.06751 | 93 | 70 | 14 | 9 |
1290 | I can't examine the royal pain in the ass until you turn that robe around. | 1.3440 | 0.05218 | 125 | 89 | 29 | 7 |
1291 | I have bad news, you are royally screwed. | 1.3440 | 0.05218 | 125 | 89 | 29 | 7 |
1292 | I appreciate you dressing up, Mr. Trump, but this is really just a routine examination. | 1.3427 | 0.05167 | 143 | 105 | 27 | 11 |
1293 | How long have you been in this country? | 1.3427 | 0.04973 | 143 | 103 | 31 | 9 |
1294 | Regarding that royal pain: Thou doth prostate too much, methinks. | 1.3427 | 0.04973 | 143 | 103 | 31 | 9 |
1295 | Let’s consider bloodletting as our last option. | 1.3427 | 0.05167 | 143 | 105 | 27 | 11 |
1296 | Your merry old soul could do with some exercise. | 1.3427 | 0.04450 | 143 | 98 | 41 | 4 |
1297 | You will still need to turn your head and cough | 1.3425 | 0.05450 | 146 | 111 | 20 | 15 |
1298 | We accept Medicare, Medicaid, but I’m afraid not MediKing. | 1.3425 | 0.04902 | 146 | 105 | 32 | 9 |
1299 | 'Well, statistically, all of your horses and all of your men will be of no use in this matter.' | 1.3425 | 0.04706 | 146 | 103 | 36 | 7 |
1300 | I wonder if the nurses will be confused with your request for a “Royal Flush”..... perhaps we should stick with “enema” | 1.3425 | 0.04902 | 146 | 105 | 32 | 9 |
1301 | How long have you felt this way, Mr. Trump? | 1.3425 | 0.05274 | 146 | 109 | 24 | 13 |
1302 | No, not a "Tudor..." | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1303 | Yes, your highness, your hemorrhoids could accurately be described as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1304 | It's just a royal pain. | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1305 | The gown has to open at the back and all jewelry has to be removed | 1.3425 | 0.04902 | 146 | 105 | 32 | 9 |
1306 | I find no evidence of a "merry old soul." | 1.3425 | 0.04805 | 146 | 104 | 34 | 8 |
1307 | Who is responsible for your bill? | 1.3425 | 0.05183 | 146 | 108 | 26 | 12 |
1308 | Looks like you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1309 | You just had a coronary, not a coronation! | 1.3425 | 0.04706 | 146 | 103 | 36 | 7 |
1310 | Your Highness, I think we have a prostrate issue. | 1.3425 | 0.04500 | 146 | 101 | 40 | 5 |
1311 | Well, it came back positive. What did I tell you about playing with the Queen of Hearts? | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1312 | No worries your highness, it’s just a royal pain. | 1.3425 | 0.04706 | 146 | 103 | 36 | 7 |
1313 | Your cardiogram indicates you have a heart of gold. | 1.3425 | 0.04902 | 146 | 105 | 32 | 9 |
1314 | Have you heard the term “short live the king”? | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1315 | It smelled like everyone else's, your majesty. | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1316 | Your condition is from spending too much time on the throne. | 1.3425 | 0.04902 | 146 | 105 | 32 | 9 |
1317 | In your subjects' defense, Your Imperial Majesty, you weren't wearing this robe over your new clothes at the press conference. | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1318 | When was the last time you went to the throne? | 1.3425 | 0.04604 | 146 | 102 | 38 | 6 |
1319 | Do you ever experience delusions of grandeur? | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1320 | It looks like you’re allergic to ermine. | 1.3425 | 0.05183 | 146 | 108 | 26 | 12 |
1321 | It appears to be just one of those royal pains one hears so much about. | 1.3425 | 0.04998 | 146 | 106 | 30 | 10 |
1322 | I'd suggest you lay off the burgers. | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1323 | I like to say that you are fit for a king,but the results say otherwise | 1.3425 | 0.04805 | 146 | 104 | 34 | 8 |
1324 | Well, I've figured out where that royal pain is. | 1.3425 | 0.04805 | 146 | 104 | 34 | 8 |
1325 | While preliminary, the tests indicate an ermine allergy. | 1.3425 | 0.05091 | 146 | 107 | 28 | 11 |
1326 | Your majesty, I don’t know if I can state unequivocally, that you are the healthiest individual ever crowned ruler of this Kingdom. | 1.3423 | 0.05196 | 149 | 111 | 25 | 13 |
1327 | Not to worry, you are not my first royal pain in the ass. | 1.3423 | 0.04835 | 149 | 107 | 33 | 9 |
1328 | Mr. Trump, test results confirm, you have completely morphed into a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3423 | 0.05452 | 149 | 114 | 19 | 16 |
1329 | You're all set for your medical marijuana card, Your Highness. | 1.3423 | 0.04835 | 149 | 107 | 33 | 9 |
1330 | It looks like you have a digestive tract issue, 'Throne's Disease". | 1.3417 | 0.05358 | 120 | 86 | 27 | 7 |
1331 | Yes, indeed, our fees are fit for a king. | 1.3417 | 0.05225 | 120 | 85 | 29 | 6 |
1332 | I’m sorry, Mr. Smith, but your lab results fail to show even a trace of blue blood. | 1.3417 | 0.05487 | 120 | 87 | 25 | 8 |
1333 | If you keep sitting all day on that iron throne, they'll never clear up without better cushioning. | 1.3415 | 0.05636 | 123 | 91 | 22 | 10 |
1334 | Your blood's not blue, sire. | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1335 | There's no easy way to say this, Jim—I'm afraid you've had a massive coronation. | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1336 | Maybe try eating more like a prince. | 1.3404 | 0.04809 | 141 | 100 | 34 | 7 |
1337 | Today, it's not so good to be the king. | 1.3404 | 0.05016 | 141 | 102 | 30 | 9 |
1338 | Are you here for the royal treatment? | 1.3404 | 0.05016 | 141 | 102 | 30 | 9 |
1339 | Turns out that you're not immortal | 1.3404 | 0.04594 | 141 | 98 | 38 | 5 |
1340 | I'm sorry, King Midas, but once it has turned to gold, I can't do anything about it. | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1341 | Whether we could put him back together or not, the Humpty Dumpty bill is still past due. | 1.3404 | 0.04809 | 141 | 100 | 34 | 7 |
1342 | Unfortunately, King Midas, we all lose some powers as we age. Hopefully, your credit card is still valid. | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1343 | You have a condition called “affluenza.” | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1344 | Well we did all the tests, but everything came back normal, so my prognosis is it’s just an old king cold. | 1.3404 | 0.05016 | 141 | 102 | 30 | 9 |
1345 | I understand, but “long live the King” is not a royal medical command. | 1.3404 | 0.04809 | 141 | 100 | 34 | 7 |
1346 | DNA tests confirm that the man who tried to kill you and then marry your wife, is unfortunately your son. | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1347 | On the bright side, we can name it after you | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1348 | No Mr. King, you can't have it your way. This is a prostate exam. | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1349 | Maybe you could 'call for your pipe' a little less. | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1350 | I'm sorry to say that you are not very fit for a king. | 1.3404 | 0.05498 | 141 | 107 | 20 | 14 |
1351 | It appears you are suffering from obsolescence | 1.3404 | 0.04594 | 141 | 98 | 38 | 5 |
1352 | You'll have to knock off the blackbird pie. | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
1353 | It says here you are having trouble 'abdicating the porcelain throne'? | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
1354 | Here's the doctor's note you requested. | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
1355 | For now, just stop touching things | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1356 | Might the queen be turning the thermostat down? | 1.3404 | 0.04594 | 141 | 98 | 38 | 5 |
1357 | You know that thing where everything you touch turns to gold? Well... | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1358 | You're too old, King Coal. | 1.3404 | 0.04703 | 141 | 99 | 36 | 6 |
1359 | You’re going to have to layoff the Crown Royal for awhile your highness. | 1.3404 | 0.04703 | 141 | 99 | 36 | 6 |
1360 | You’ll have to eat fruit for your constipation or have an enema... and we know that a royal flush always beats a pear | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1361 | "Smoke one pipe, have one bowl then call for the fiddlers's three. | 1.3404 | 0.05016 | 141 | 102 | 30 | 9 |
1362 | Is that your excuse for missing your last six appointments, you've been away at the Crusades | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1363 | Unfortunately there’s nothing we can do about your receding heir line. | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1364 | "Your Na and K are normal, but there's a spike in your Au | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1365 | Good news! For your transplant we have a lion heart available. | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1366 | Heavy is the head that wears the crown. We're afraid it's encephalitis. | 1.3404 | 0.05310 | 141 | 105 | 24 | 12 |
1367 | Turns out that royal pain in the ass is just a hemorrhoid | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
1368 | You’re in luck, Obamacare covers pre-existing conditions. | 1.3404 | 0.05214 | 141 | 104 | 26 | 11 |
1369 | The test results are back. Check Mate! | 1.3404 | 0.05116 | 141 | 103 | 28 | 10 |
1370 | The good news is that we've found the cause of your migraine headaches. | 1.3404 | 0.04703 | 141 | 99 | 36 | 6 |
1371 | Yes, well, unfortunately, your prostate is king sized, too. | 1.3404 | 0.04914 | 141 | 101 | 32 | 8 |
1372 | Tests show your crown is too tight. | 1.3403 | 0.05041 | 144 | 105 | 29 | 10 |
1373 | You're lactose intolerant, Sire, so no more beheading food tasters, ok? | 1.3401 | 0.05418 | 147 | 112 | 20 | 15 |
1374 | I suggest spending less time on the throne. | 1.3401 | 0.04778 | 147 | 105 | 34 | 8 |
1375 | Even so, the opening of the robe goes in the back! | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
1376 | This is a ransom note... | 1.3401 | 0.05153 | 147 | 109 | 26 | 12 |
1377 | But in your majesty's case I'd hardly call it the common cold. | 1.3401 | 0.04679 | 147 | 104 | 36 | 7 |
1378 | May I ask why you beheaded the royal physician? | 1.3401 | 0.04874 | 147 | 106 | 32 | 9 |
1379 | Bone spurs | 1.3401 | 0.05153 | 147 | 109 | 26 | 12 |
1380 | Tests indicate presidential privilege has gone to your head | 1.3401 | 0.04778 | 147 | 105 | 34 | 8 |
1381 | I understand you feel it is a royal pain, but sciatica is fairly common. | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
1382 | When did these delusions of grandeur start? | 1.3401 | 0.04778 | 147 | 105 | 34 | 8 |
1383 | Golden touch isn't covered by your insurance, but the good news is you can probably meet your deductible. | 1.3401 | 0.05153 | 147 | 109 | 26 | 12 |
1384 | You'd feel much better if you could get your neighbors to build a big, beautiful wall around the castle. | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
1385 | Amazing! Everything I touch turns to shit. | 1.3401 | 0.05062 | 147 | 108 | 28 | 11 |
1386 | Scepter elbow! | 1.3401 | 0.04579 | 147 | 103 | 38 | 6 |
1387 | You look drawn. | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
1388 | The good news is it’s not cancer. The bad news is it’s bubonic plague. | 1.3401 | 0.04969 | 147 | 107 | 30 | 10 |
1389 | I'm not calling them that | 1.3394 | 0.06004 | 109 | 81 | 19 | 9 |
1390 | Definitely Biden's syndrome. | 1.3390 | 0.05544 | 118 | 86 | 24 | 8 |
1391 | Well Midas, it’s like this ... | 1.3388 | 0.05321 | 121 | 87 | 27 | 7 |
1392 | So, you complain about being hot all the time. Have you thought about taking off your royal robe? | 1.3388 | 0.05574 | 121 | 89 | 23 | 9 |
1393 | So you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders! Have you tried not wearing your crown? | 1.3382 | 0.04920 | 136 | 97 | 32 | 7 |
1394 | Yes, dividing the realm among your three daughters will definitely lower your stress level. | 1.3381 | 0.05162 | 139 | 102 | 27 | 10 |
1395 | Wow when did we get these new robes for patients? | 1.3381 | 0.05060 | 139 | 101 | 29 | 9 |
1396 | Your highness with all due respect , you might want to rethink the phrase: Long live the king! | 1.3381 | 0.04849 | 139 | 99 | 33 | 7 |
1397 | I recommend that you cut back to 2 and 10 blackbirds. | 1.3381 | 0.05162 | 139 | 102 | 27 | 10 |
1398 | I'm putting you on a blackbird-free diet | 1.3381 | 0.04849 | 139 | 99 | 33 | 7 |
1399 | I am a bit concerned about the gold level in your stool this year. | 1.3381 | 0.04956 | 139 | 100 | 31 | 8 |
1400 | How long have you felt unworthy? | 1.3381 | 0.04956 | 139 | 100 | 31 | 8 |
1401 | I’d like to say Long Live the King, but … | 1.3381 | 0.05262 | 139 | 103 | 25 | 11 |
1402 | It looks like your complaint of a Royal Pain in the Ass, is actually a thrombosed hemorrhoid. | 1.3381 | 0.04515 | 139 | 96 | 39 | 4 |
1403 | Exercise, get a good night’s sleep, and hold off on the blackbirds. | 1.3381 | 0.05262 | 139 | 103 | 25 | 11 |
1404 | I'm sorry but I cannot report you are the all-time healthiest king. | 1.3381 | 0.05162 | 139 | 102 | 27 | 10 |
1405 | I think your crown is causing your migraine headaches. | 1.3381 | 0.05162 | 139 | 102 | 27 | 10 |
1406 | Well Your Majesty, the crown seems to be the cause of all your headaches. | 1.3381 | 0.04741 | 139 | 98 | 35 | 6 |
1407 | Well, the bad news is you have only about six weeks to live, but the good news is you have a merry old soul . | 1.3381 | 0.04515 | 139 | 96 | 39 | 4 |
1408 | I would like to give you the results, but they’ve been redacted by your staff. | 1.3381 | 0.05456 | 139 | 105 | 21 | 13 |
1409 | Sorry, it looks like you forgot to enroll in Medicare. | 1.3381 | 0.05456 | 139 | 105 | 21 | 13 |
1410 | Sorry for the bad news, but your blood is actually red. | 1.3381 | 0.04741 | 139 | 98 | 35 | 6 |
1411 | I'm sorry, but your coverage ended when you were deposed. We'll have to ask for cash payment now. | 1.3381 | 0.04629 | 139 | 97 | 37 | 5 |
1412 | Let me put it this way, you're royally screwed. | 1.3381 | 0.05360 | 139 | 104 | 23 | 12 |
1413 | When was the last time you had an abdication? | 1.3381 | 0.04741 | 139 | 98 | 35 | 6 |
1414 | Seems you have restless subject syndrome. Survival rates vary. | 1.3381 | 0.05060 | 139 | 101 | 29 | 9 |
1415 | The pipe and bowl make your old soul merry, Mr. Cole, but they're doing nothing good for your cardiovascular system. | 1.3381 | 0.04956 | 139 | 100 | 31 | 8 |
1416 | Im sorry, Mr. Miller, but your labs just dont show any blue blood. | 1.3381 | 0.04956 | 139 | 100 | 31 | 8 |
1417 | I was a bit surprised it wasn't gout. | 1.3380 | 0.05085 | 142 | 104 | 28 | 10 |
1418 | Didn’t the nurse tell you to disrobe? | 1.3379 | 0.04613 | 145 | 102 | 37 | 6 |
1419 | I'm afraid you're wearing the robe backwards. | 1.3378 | 0.04751 | 148 | 106 | 34 | 8 |
1420 | It supposed to open in the back | 1.3378 | 0.04553 | 148 | 104 | 38 | 6 |
1421 | Your bloodline is high | 1.3364 | 0.05957 | 110 | 82 | 19 | 9 |
1422 | Your Majesty, I'm afraid the 'Royal We' has not yet met this year's deductible. | 1.3362 | 0.05736 | 116 | 86 | 21 | 9 |
1423 | Unfortunately, based on these test results it is not good to be the King. | 1.3361 | 0.05374 | 119 | 86 | 26 | 7 |
1424 | The good news is that your dynasty is in good health, Your Highness | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
1425 | According to these record, your last physical was during the Crusades. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1426 | It appears you've contracted a nasty case of affluenza. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1427 | Bobby, the problem appears to be between your ears. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1428 | Your a happy meal away from the golden arches in the sky. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1429 | I'm OK with the fiddlers three, but you need to cut back on the pipe and the bowl. | 1.3358 | 0.04665 | 137 | 96 | 36 | 5 |
1430 | It's called Osteoporosis... but yes, Lame of Bones is more regal. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1431 | You must be Mr. King my 10 o'clock appointment? | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1432 | I 'm sorry it looks like you are suffering from Crowns Disease | 1.3358 | 0.05411 | 137 | 103 | 22 | 12 |
1433 | Unfortunately, your merry old sole has a bunion ! | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1434 | Any new royal pains: plague, pox, flux, gout, hemophilia, gangrene, syphilis? Are you using sunscreen regularly? | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1435 | In your case, it's not good to be the king ... | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1436 | So I see in your history you used to be a merry old soul? | 1.3358 | 0.04779 | 137 | 97 | 34 | 6 |
1437 | Take off everything except your underwear, socks and crown. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1438 | I’m afraid it’s hereditary. | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1439 | ''I'm sorry, but this is New York City so I have to ask you, who are you and what the hell are you doing here?'' | 1.3358 | 0.05411 | 137 | 103 | 22 | 12 |
1440 | It says here that you’re suffering from an inferiority complex. Have you spoken with the Queen?” | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1441 | ... I’m afraid not, you’ll need a rear opening robe for this procedure. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1442 | Purim is over, Sid. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1443 | If I do decide to give you a work excuse, who would I send it to?” | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1444 | I’m afraid you can’t rule out anything at this point your majesty. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1445 | No mention of health insurance in the Magna Carta | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1446 | You are the healthiest king in the history of the world. | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1447 | So, how long have you been having delusions of grandeur? | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1448 | You can look at it either way. You have the king of diseases or the disease of kings but it’ still requires a hefty shot of penicillin. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1449 | If you can, please take a royal wee... | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1450 | It seems you’re allergic to gold and fur. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1451 | It's whatever you want it to be. | 1.3358 | 0.05311 | 137 | 102 | 24 | 11 |
1452 | Well I'll be damned, it really is blue. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1453 | You really could avoid all of these embarrassing problems if you would just first make sure that you are sitting on the correct throne! | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1454 | The shoes did nicely. So the crown should almost pay for the surgery. | 1.3358 | 0.05606 | 137 | 105 | 18 | 14 |
1455 | To be fair, aren’t all your pains royal? | 1.3358 | 0.04779 | 137 | 97 | 34 | 6 |
1456 | King Midas, I told you if you touched it, the consequences would be worse than going blind | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1457 | Sorry to tell you this, King Midas, but THAT'S one thing you shouldn't have touched. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1458 | You have king crabs. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1459 | The results suggest it is time to name an heir | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1460 | I'm afraid your royal flush is a big deal. | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1461 | Try to reign in your anger a bit Your Majesty, ruling with an actual iron fist is not meant to be taken so literally! | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1462 | But what if the cholesterol doesn't accept the fact that it is banished? | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1463 | No, no, by 'emperor of all maladies', I meant cancer. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1464 | No. Even your horses and men couldn't cure this. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1465 | Slide the rook two squares left, and you'll be fine. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1466 | I don't care what Ancestry.com says. You have a common cold. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1467 | Your family jewels are now worthless. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1468 | Well, you're in considerably better shape than another tyrant I treat. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1469 | I'm afraid I have to insist you change into the robe we gave you. | 1.3358 | 0.04779 | 137 | 97 | 34 | 6 |
1470 | The results show you still have a merry old soul. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1471 | You don’t need to dress up to impress me. I don’t work here either. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1472 | For this, you can’t get a second opinion from the Supreme Court. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1473 | How long do you sit on the throne? | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1474 | No, 6 wives is enough. | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1475 | Let's give the pipe, bowl, and fiddlers three another try | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1476 | You have a very old soul. | 1.3358 | 0.04779 | 137 | 97 | 34 | 6 |
1477 | There's no easy way to say this, your majesty. but in my professional opinion, your throne will be vacant within 6 months. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1478 | The consensus was to surgically remove your ego. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1479 | we were told the paper gowns were undignified. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1480 | You need me to pull Excalibur out of where? | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1481 | A little less time on the Royal Throne will help those hemorrhoids. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1482 | Well, anyone who eats four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie is bound to get indigestion, Your Majesty. | 1.3358 | 0.05311 | 137 | 102 | 24 | 11 |
1483 | I think you've been spending too much time on the throne. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1484 | Your merriness ceased, you say, when you received my last bill? | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1485 | A royal pain it is, your Hiney, I mean Highness. | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1486 | It isn’t who you think it is. Your father is... the Burger King. | 1.3358 | 0.05311 | 137 | 102 | 24 | 11 |
1487 | It seems to be a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1488 | Have you been having thoughts of regicide? | 1.3358 | 0.05209 | 137 | 101 | 26 | 10 |
1489 | Are you familiar with the term 'Thy Kingdom Come' ? " | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1490 | Just as I suspected, you’re suffering from delusions of grandeur. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1491 | You said the symptoms started in the 14th, or 15th century? | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1492 | Donald, Owning an empire is only in your mind. | 1.3358 | 0.05606 | 137 | 105 | 18 | 14 |
1493 | So much for long live the King | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1494 | There were two other kings, two queens and a jack in here with the same thing you have. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1495 | Well there is some good news: you DO have new clothes. | 1.3358 | 0.04999 | 137 | 99 | 30 | 8 |
1496 | No, Sire, not Guillotine, quarantine. | 1.3358 | 0.04890 | 137 | 98 | 32 | 7 |
1497 | yes, well, the good news is that we managed to remove three-and-twenty beaks from your colon. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1498 | Well sire, it looks like your old soul isn't going to be so merry this year. | 1.3358 | 0.05105 | 137 | 100 | 28 | 9 |
1499 | Your blood seems to be shifting to red at an alarming rate. | 1.3357 | 0.05230 | 140 | 104 | 25 | 11 |
1500 | ...but do you have health insurance? | 1.3333 | 0.04932 | 135 | 97 | 31 | 7 |
1501 | Perhaps the double Whopper wasn't such a good idea. | 1.3333 | 0.04932 | 135 | 97 | 31 | 7 |
1502 | Are you having trouble with the Royal We? | 1.3333 | 0.05361 | 135 | 101 | 23 | 11 |
1503 | It says that you turned my nurse into gold. | 1.3333 | 0.05074 | 138 | 101 | 28 | 9 |
1504 | What do you mean, "WE are feeling fit as a fiddle"? | 1.3333 | 0.04932 | 135 | 97 | 31 | 7 |
1505 | According to this, you blood is actually red. | 1.3333 | 0.04932 | 135 | 97 | 31 | 7 |
1506 | Doc, have you heard of King Derangement Syndrome? Asking for a friend. | 1.3333 | 0.05257 | 135 | 100 | 25 | 10 |
1507 | I got your blood tests. Seems like it’s blue. | 1.3333 | 0.05734 | 108 | 79 | 22 | 7 |
1508 | It seems you don't have insurance, but we'll accept your ransom. | 1.3333 | 0.05151 | 135 | 99 | 27 | 9 |
1509 | Yes, we could remove the crown, but have you thought through the political implications | 1.3333 | 0.05204 | 120 | 86 | 28 | 6 |
1510 | Sorry. For a moment I misread this as calling for a change in your regime. | 1.3333 | 0.04792 | 141 | 101 | 33 | 7 |
1511 | I wouldn't worry, King Charles. Your mother, Elizabeth, lived 'till 104. | 1.3333 | 0.05040 | 126 | 90 | 30 | 6 |
1512 | It's your choice - leeches or a colonoscopy! | 1.3333 | 0.05257 | 135 | 100 | 25 | 10 |
1513 | Ironically, Monarch Insurance rejected your claim to the throne. | 1.3333 | 0.05361 | 135 | 101 | 23 | 11 |
1514 | I see here that you have a history of being a merry old soul but you’re going to have to give up the pipe and the bowl if you want that to continue. | 1.3333 | 0.05257 | 135 | 100 | 25 | 10 |
1515 | Harvey, I know that gout is the disease of kings but this is a bit melodramatic | 1.3333 | 0.05164 | 126 | 91 | 28 | 7 |
1516 | Unlike the rest of your kingdom, you seem to be in fine shape. | 1.3333 | 0.05040 | 126 | 90 | 30 | 6 |
1517 | Just how royal is this pain? | 1.3333 | 0.05043 | 135 | 98 | 29 | 8 |
1518 | Don't kill the messenger... | 1.3333 | 0.04702 | 135 | 95 | 35 | 5 |
1519 | "I'm afraid that I can't accept the Prime Minister's word that your prostate feels just fine." | 1.3333 | 0.05257 | 135 | 100 | 25 | 10 |
1520 | Sir, I don't care what you are the king of. You can't wear that crown in the MRI. | 1.3333 | 0.04702 | 135 | 95 | 35 | 5 |
1521 | That' right sir, cash paying patients are treated like royalty. | 1.3333 | 0.04818 | 135 | 96 | 33 | 6 |
1522 | Good news. Your lab test indicates 100% blue blood . | 1.3333 | 0.04726 | 144 | 103 | 34 | 7 |
1523 | Have you been eating blackbirds? | 1.3333 | 0.05361 | 135 | 101 | 23 | 11 |
1524 | Fiddlers are fine, but more grains in the bowl. And no more calling for your pipe. | 1.3333 | 0.05257 | 135 | 100 | 25 | 10 |
1525 | Even with divine right, your copay is still $100. | 1.3333 | 0.05043 | 135 | 98 | 29 | 8 |
1526 | After looking at your test results I have to say, you are royally screwed | 1.3333 | 0.05043 | 135 | 98 | 29 | 8 |
1527 | I agree heavy is the head, but you still need to lose a few pounds. | 1.3333 | 0.04751 | 138 | 98 | 34 | 6 |
1528 | So, you're saying you fell on your scepter? | 1.3333 | 0.05285 | 126 | 92 | 26 | 8 |
1529 | Is there an eldest male heir we should inform? | 1.3333 | 0.05151 | 135 | 99 | 27 | 9 |
1530 | And if someone asks you to "pick your poison" again, tell them you're not thirsty. | 1.3310 | 0.04899 | 145 | 106 | 30 | 9 |
1531 | You know at some point I'll need to check out the Crown Jewels. | 1.3310 | 0.05091 | 145 | 108 | 26 | 11 |
1532 | Dear God, has my nurse explained how I check the prostate? | 1.3310 | 0.04868 | 142 | 103 | 31 | 8 |
1533 | It looks like we need to refill your plunder prescription. | 1.3310 | 0.04868 | 142 | 103 | 31 | 8 |
1534 | No, no, it’s a dentist you want to see! I don’t do crowns. | 1.3309 | 0.05011 | 136 | 99 | 29 | 8 |
1535 | Normally, I'd say 'Long live the king,' but these cholesterol numbers beg to differ. | 1.3309 | 0.04789 | 136 | 97 | 33 | 6 |
1536 | Your test results indicate that it's NOT always good to be the king. | 1.3309 | 0.05224 | 136 | 101 | 25 | 10 |
1537 | I'm afraid you've only got 6 months left to rule. | 1.3309 | 0.05011 | 136 | 99 | 29 | 8 |
1538 | We are not going to be amused... | 1.3309 | 0.05224 | 136 | 101 | 25 | 10 |
1539 | Have you tried investing in a standing throne? | 1.3309 | 0.05011 | 136 | 99 | 29 | 8 |
1540 | Well, the good news is that you can start taking ‘Long Live the King’ less seriously. | 1.3309 | 0.05528 | 136 | 104 | 19 | 13 |
1541 | Tell me more about the royal pain in Your Majesty's ass. | 1.3309 | 0.05224 | 136 | 101 | 25 | 10 |
1542 | I'm sorry, the DNA test shows that you have the Formica touch. | 1.3309 | 0.05119 | 136 | 100 | 27 | 9 |
1543 | Historically, Toxic Patriarchy Syndrome has not been especially responsive to treatment. | 1.3309 | 0.04789 | 136 | 97 | 33 | 6 |
1544 | Where exactly is this Royal pain? | 1.3309 | 0.05429 | 136 | 103 | 21 | 12 |
1545 | Your tests reveal that you're sorely lacking in the royal jelly. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1546 | You really should have come to me before killing your third wife. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1547 | Have you traveled outside your fiefdom recently? | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1548 | You are fit to serve your highness, but I do recommend you see a jester three times a week , these are dark times. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1549 | This diet will kill you. But have it your way. | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1550 | Our tests confirm that it's just a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1551 | You say you’re spending HOW much time on the throne? | 1.3308 | 0.04618 | 133 | 93 | 36 | 4 |
1552 | Your grace, I'm afraid the gown is on backwards. | 1.3308 | 0.04740 | 133 | 94 | 34 | 5 |
1553 | It is a Royal pain in the ass. | 1.3308 | 0.05307 | 133 | 99 | 24 | 10 |
1554 | So you fell off your Porcelain Throne? | 1.3308 | 0.05413 | 133 | 100 | 22 | 11 |
1555 | Blackbirds. Again. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1556 | You're obese, King Trump. | 1.3308 | 0.05620 | 133 | 102 | 18 | 13 |
1557 | So, how long have you had this "royal pain?" | 1.3308 | 0.04740 | 133 | 94 | 34 | 5 |
1558 | Ok, "royal" isn't a blood type. | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1559 | Your Majesty has a case of the king crabs. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1560 | You can call for the fiddlers three, but the pipe and the bowl gotta go. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1561 | When did you start feeling that you were in control? By the way I love your outfit! | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1562 | You may be fit for a king but you're not fit enough for anyone else. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1563 | The copay is quite reasonable, just a few duchies and six emeralds. | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1564 | Four and twenty? Baked in a what? | 1.3308 | 0.05413 | 133 | 100 | 22 | 11 |
1565 | These data show that you are truly the King of Hearts | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1566 | Huh, everything you touch, you say? | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1567 | I think you have been sitting on the wrong throne too long. | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1568 | Prune juice before you sit on the royal throne.' | 1.3308 | 0.05307 | 133 | 99 | 24 | 10 |
1569 | Let me get this straight: "You're the healthiest king ever. If you lose a couple of pounds, you might live to be 200." | 1.3308 | 0.05517 | 133 | 101 | 20 | 12 |
1570 | I think it was four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1571 | ALl the tests came back normal, so I can only conclude it’s just a royal-pain-in-the-ass | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1572 | Your head is uneasy. | 1.3308 | 0.04740 | 133 | 94 | 34 | 5 |
1573 | Take two eyes of newt and call me in the morning. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1574 | Your father had hemorrhoids, too--one of the downsides of being a sitting king. | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1575 | Did you fire your jester? Your blood pressure is way up. | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1576 | Says here, you're suffering from delusions of grandeur... | 1.3308 | 0.05413 | 133 | 100 | 22 | 11 |
1577 | your subjects have diagnosed you as a royal pain in the ass ..... | 1.3308 | 0.05307 | 133 | 99 | 24 | 10 |
1578 | You see, it's about your family jewels. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1579 | The examination reveals that actually, you have no clothes. | 1.3308 | 0.04975 | 133 | 96 | 30 | 7 |
1580 | How's the Succession Planning? | 1.3308 | 0.04740 | 133 | 94 | 34 | 5 |
1581 | Well, the good news is that it’s curable. But it’s gonna take a King’s ransom to meet your deductible before year’s end. Any chance your wife has a better plan with her employer? | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1582 | First off, you'll need to put that robe on the other way. | 1.3308 | 0.04859 | 133 | 95 | 32 | 6 |
1583 | Sir, your gout IS very serious. “The King’s disease” is just a colloquial term.. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1584 | We used to have paper gowns that opened in the back. | 1.3308 | 0.05088 | 133 | 97 | 28 | 8 |
1585 | The x-rays confirmed you aren't wearing clothes. | 1.3308 | 0.05198 | 133 | 98 | 26 | 9 |
1586 | Your lab tests are screwed up, and I mean royally. | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
1587 | The knights want a psychiatric review? | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
1588 | I'm sorry to say that every treatment we've tried has failed. It's a feudal situation. | 1.3306 | 0.05085 | 124 | 89 | 29 | 6 |
1589 | Without insurance this treatment will cost you a King's Ransom. | 1.3306 | 0.05213 | 124 | 90 | 27 | 7 |
1590 | Considering your symptoms, I’m surprised to find you sitting. | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
1591 | I don’t care if it ‘looks noble’, your urine should not be purple. | 1.3306 | 0.05213 | 124 | 90 | 27 | 7 |
1592 | Of course the good thing is, it's good to be King, but the bad thing is it won't be for long if you continue your present life style. | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
1593 | Looks like you're royally screwed. | 1.3304 | 0.05200 | 115 | 82 | 28 | 5 |
1594 | Royal pain in the neck... a long pour of Louis XIII should do the job. | 1.3304 | 0.05200 | 115 | 82 | 28 | 5 |
1595 | Your head has to come off | 1.3304 | 0.05344 | 115 | 83 | 26 | 6 |
1596 | You have to disrobe. | 1.3288 | 0.04967 | 146 | 108 | 28 | 10 |
1597 | You were instructed to put your gown on with the opening to the back. | 1.3288 | 0.04773 | 146 | 106 | 32 | 8 |
1598 | Sorry, reversing a warlock curse is not covered by Medicare. | 1.3287 | 0.04940 | 143 | 105 | 29 | 9 |
1599 | Oh, you've been sitting on THAT throne a lot lately too? | 1.3285 | 0.05087 | 137 | 101 | 27 | 9 |
1600 | I'm an OB/GYN, Bob, I deal with a very different type of crowning. | 1.3285 | 0.05192 | 137 | 102 | 25 | 10 |
1601 | Speaking as your dentist, that crown has got to go. | 1.3285 | 0.05493 | 137 | 105 | 19 | 13 |
1602 | Hmm. Your past medical records are redacted. | 1.3285 | 0.05087 | 137 | 101 | 27 | 9 |
1603 | Yes, I literally mean you're going to need a king's ransom to pay this hospital bill. | 1.3285 | 0.05394 | 137 | 104 | 21 | 12 |
1604 | King Lear, I'm sorry, but the results don't look good. | 1.3285 | 0.05087 | 137 | 101 | 27 | 9 |
1605 | I'm afraid you're allergic to ermine, Your Majesty. | 1.3285 | 0.05087 | 137 | 101 | 27 | 9 |
1606 | Megalomania...it's been going around. | 1.3285 | 0.04981 | 137 | 100 | 29 | 8 |
1607 | No, genetic results from “23 and Me” do not prove royal lineage. | 1.3284 | 0.04943 | 134 | 97 | 30 | 7 |
1608 | Prostateum Examinum | 1.3284 | 0.05482 | 134 | 102 | 20 | 12 |
1609 | The Queen wants me to prescribe the little blue pills and some hearing aids. | 1.3284 | 0.04829 | 134 | 96 | 32 | 6 |
1610 | Your ailment seems to be worsening Donald. | 1.3284 | 0.04943 | 134 | 97 | 30 | 7 |
1611 | The stethoscope makes you look a little pretentious. | 1.3284 | 0.04466 | 134 | 93 | 38 | 3 |
1612 | So, you say these everyday objects.... they're not turning to gold any longer. | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1613 | Can you at least put the robe on with the opening in back? | 1.3282 | 0.04654 | 131 | 92 | 35 | 4 |
1614 | We'll be consulting with Dr. House. Or Dr. Castle, as you keep referring to him. | 1.3282 | 0.05466 | 131 | 99 | 21 | 11 |
1615 | You really need to quit calling for your pipe. | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1616 | I understand you've been experiencing a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1617 | Royalty? I'm afraid not. Your father was a saxophone player from Detroit and your mom worked the assembly line at Ford. | 1.3282 | 0.05358 | 131 | 98 | 23 | 10 |
1618 | Sorry, sir, you cannot have it your way. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1619 | King or no king,you still have to cough. | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1620 | Somebody's been looking for love in all the wrong Renaissance fairs." | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1621 | There's nothing wrong with you. Glenda Jackson's just a better actor. | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1622 | I understand it’s royal, but on a scale of one to ten how would you describe your pain? | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1623 | That's quite a detailed family history. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1624 | So these uneasy feelings only occur when you wear the crown? | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1625 | Well, the way I read it, the report seems to indicate that there is no obstruction. | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1626 | That’s not exactly what I meant by ‘having it lanced.’ | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1627 | It means from now on you’re the Salad King. | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1628 | Ummm... a royal flush is different than a colonoscopy | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1629 | According to the test results, your blue blood count is a little high. | 1.3282 | 0.04900 | 131 | 94 | 31 | 6 |
1630 | Well, King Midas, there is nothing to be ashamed about masturbation in itself... | 1.3282 | 0.05358 | 131 | 98 | 23 | 10 |
1631 | Sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but, it's not the queen's fault. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1632 | You said you have a few flagons of mead a day, how large exactly is a flagon? | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1633 | We have your results, and we are not amused. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1634 | I’m afraid your insurance won’t cover this procedure. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1635 | So you're saying you touched it and it turned to gold? | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1636 | Is there any family history of bubonic plague? | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1637 | You’re condition is definitely hereditary. | 1.3282 | 0.04900 | 131 | 94 | 31 | 6 |
1638 | You say you contracted this STD as a result of "droit de seigneur"? | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1639 | You're not exactly fit for a king. | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1640 | Well, the test was clear...no problems with the royal wee | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1641 | Well, your Highness, the bowl is no problem, the fiddlers three are fine , but you have to give up the pipe. | 1.3282 | 0.04654 | 131 | 92 | 35 | 4 |
1642 | Our tests show nothing but the Oracle of Delphi recommends 2 aspirin and plenty of bed rest. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1643 | Confidentially, it’s you who can’t have children.” | 1.3282 | 0.05466 | 131 | 99 | 21 | 11 |
1644 | I've reviewed your GI series; it's definitely the four and twenty blackbirds. | 1.3282 | 0.05466 | 131 | 99 | 21 | 11 |
1645 | Your heart and lungs sound good and the statins are keeping your cholesterol under control. My biggest concern is your family history of beheadings. | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1646 | So you say we're alike, because I think I'm god and you think you're a king? | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1647 | You want to become Queen for a Day? | 1.3282 | 0.05573 | 131 | 100 | 19 | 12 |
1648 | You have Whopper Withdrawal Syndrome. I See this a lot in retired Burger Kings. | 1.3282 | 0.05358 | 131 | 98 | 23 | 10 |
1649 | So lets see here your last physician was beheaded... | 1.3282 | 0.05018 | 131 | 95 | 29 | 7 |
1650 | I regret to inform you that your blood is not really blue, Mr. King. | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1651 | Yes mr. Jones, your Royal-Dulux-platinum plan provides for a crown and ermine examination robe, but you’ve got it on backwards.., | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1652 | I’m going to let you eat cake for now. | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1653 | I’m willing to state for the record that you’re relatively healthy for a man of your age, but I cannot ‘proclaim you to be the healthiest king of all time’ | 1.3282 | 0.05466 | 131 | 99 | 21 | 11 |
1654 | Our tests reveal that your crown is too tight. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1655 | You don’t have the right insurance for the royal treatment. | 1.3282 | 0.05247 | 131 | 97 | 25 | 9 |
1656 | Turns out, it's oligarchy | 1.3282 | 0.04778 | 131 | 93 | 33 | 5 |
1657 | Well I hope it has been good to be king. | 1.3282 | 0.05134 | 131 | 96 | 27 | 8 |
1658 | I 'm sorry to tell you...there's no more oats to sow. | 1.3282 | 0.05466 | 131 | 99 | 21 | 11 |
1659 | It says, here, you have a merry old soul. | 1.3281 | 0.05096 | 128 | 93 | 28 | 7 |
1660 | No.This is not the Mueller report. | 1.3277 | 0.05217 | 119 | 86 | 27 | 6 |
1661 | Well, the tests confirmed it. It's definitely a royal pain. | 1.3277 | 0.05217 | 119 | 86 | 27 | 6 |
1662 | Clearly you are the King of hearts. | 1.3277 | 0.05079 | 119 | 85 | 29 | 5 |
1663 | It's cancer. You're royally screwed. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. | 1.3277 | 0.05483 | 119 | 88 | 23 | 8 |
1664 | Just because you've killed your brothers, sisters, wives and children doesn't mean you need an antidepressant. I think of doing precisely the same most days. | 1.3277 | 0.05612 | 119 | 89 | 21 | 9 |
1665 | I’m just saying, a couple of laps around the moat wouldn’t hurt. | 1.3277 | 0.05079 | 119 | 85 | 29 | 5 |
1666 | You have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one. | 1.3277 | 0.05352 | 119 | 87 | 25 | 7 |
1667 | Your cholesterol is fine, but your blood has highness. | 1.3277 | 0.05352 | 119 | 87 | 25 | 7 |
1668 | The royal we could stand to lose a few pounds. | 1.3277 | 0.05612 | 119 | 89 | 21 | 9 |
1669 | Yes, it is a royal pain in the, ah... | 1.3274 | 0.05821 | 113 | 85 | 19 | 9 |
1670 | I said colitis, not collusion. | 1.3273 | 0.05496 | 110 | 80 | 24 | 6 |
1671 | A royal pain in the ass could be several things. | 1.3269 | 0.06025 | 104 | 78 | 18 | 8 |
1672 | Well, your Majesty, the good news is that your blood work is fine. Your genetic analysis, however, indicates that you are not of the trump suit and therefore the Queen wins. | 1.3263 | 0.06250 | 95 | 71 | 17 | 7 |
1673 | You're allergic to gold. | 1.3262 | 0.04982 | 141 | 104 | 28 | 9 |
1674 | I believe you'll benefit from the new medicinal marijuana laws, Your Highness. | 1.3261 | 0.04950 | 138 | 101 | 29 | 8 |
1675 | I see nothing to account for your troubles on the throne. | 1.3261 | 0.05159 | 138 | 103 | 25 | 10 |
1676 | I'm afraid you have to stop living like a king. | 1.3258 | 0.05213 | 132 | 98 | 25 | 9 |
1677 | According to the genetic test, all of your ancestors on both sides were first cousins or closer. Kind of makes you the village idiot, albeit with a crown. | 1.3258 | 0.05323 | 132 | 99 | 23 | 10 |
1678 | You won't be such a merry old soul when I give you these results | 1.3258 | 0.05101 | 132 | 97 | 27 | 8 |
1679 | Blood work looks good. The lab says they have never seen a more beautiful shade of blue. | 1.3258 | 0.04986 | 132 | 96 | 29 | 7 |
1680 | We can definitely rule out the common cold. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1681 | It's a rare type of rash called royal flush. | 1.3256 | 0.04818 | 129 | 92 | 32 | 5 |
1682 | I'm not sure I undertand. It says in your file that you are here to have a crown repaired. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1683 | You may or may not have to give up the throne soon." | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1684 | I’m gonna have to send you for a psych eval. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1685 | I'm afraid we don't accept your insurance. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1686 | So, looks like you've had a few bad Knights | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1687 | Sorry, I couldn't find a drop of royal blood in your sample | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1688 | An increased diet of fiber will help lessen the amount of your time spent on the throne. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1689 | No, I’m afraid your blood was red, like everyone else’s . | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1690 | Take one before raising the drawbridge. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1691 | looks like you a have a touch of Midas | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1692 | Command of your bladder is also slipping away.” | 1.3256 | 0.04818 | 129 | 92 | 32 | 5 |
1693 | Your tests revealed an inflated ego and a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1694 | I don’t write prescriptions for medical marijuana, Your Highness. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1695 | I don't care what your wife said. A royal pain in the ass is not a medical diagnosis. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1696 | It's a royal pain, but we can correct it. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1697 | What you call "a royal pain in the ass" we call hemorrhoids | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1698 | So, your chief complaint is uneasy lies the head that wears the crown? | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1699 | What do you mean you don't have an employer covered health plan? | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1700 | “Your Majesty, the X-ray report does confirm what the kid said: you are not wearing any clothes.” | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1701 | Your guess is correct your Highness, the Royal Jewels have deflated and will no longer rise in value. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1702 | On your way out, King Midas, be sure to hold onto all the guard rails. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1703 | Unfortunately, you're allergic to ermine. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1704 | I think I know why you’ve been spending so much time on the throne. | 1.3256 | 0.04818 | 129 | 92 | 32 | 5 |
1705 | Do you want the truth, the whole truth, or anything but the truth? | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1706 | What kind of doctor takes notes? I say beware of doctors who take notes. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1707 | Yes, yes, you could have inherited it. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1708 | Maybe try swimming around the moat once in a while? | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1709 | It says here that you used to be a merry old soul. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1710 | Your regalia is low. How's your retinue? | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1711 | Guess what? Reign wasn't the only hereditary thing in your family. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1712 | Mmhmm, and how long have you been feeling this sense of nobility? | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1713 | You said you eat how many hamburgers a week?!?!? | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1714 | Rest, plenty of liquids and I’ll see you back here in a fortnight. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1715 | Unfortunately, "Have it Your Way" doesn't apply to the prostate examination. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1716 | Your liver enzymes are elevated . Crown Royal? | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1717 | So you see here, Medicare for All would, in fact, be fit for a king. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1718 | Check. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1719 | Except for being sick with power, your vitals look fine. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1720 | I can't believe you hid all of your tax returns there! | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1721 | Yes, you are wearing clothes. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1722 | No, actually, it's AB+, and red. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1723 | So it turns out it's not good to be the king.... | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1724 | Not that long live the king. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1725 | Let’s put it this way . . . Burger King or not, your cholesterol reading is a Whopper! | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1726 | I'm upping your dosage to fiddlers, four. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1727 | Well, looks like it's not that great being king. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1728 | You can keep the bowl and the fiddlers three, but lay off the pipe. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1729 | We're not sure what's causing your problem, King Midas, but we have some objects we'd like you to touch. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1730 | I'm diagnosing you with delusions of grandeur. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1731 | King or not, you're still fat. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1732 | I'm amazed you're not feeling worse after eating four and twenty blackbirds. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1733 | I've been a proctologist a long time, but sir, this is the first time I've literally found gold. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1734 | Just because everything you touch turns to gold does not mean you're contagious. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1735 | Don't worry -- what happens here stays here, Mr. Trump. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1736 | Sorry Mr. President, but it will take more than this executive order to make the royal prostrate great again. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1737 | It says here, you're a Royal Pain in the Ass | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1738 | Your crown is cheap tin; your robe flea-ridden; your royal lineage fabricated; and your presumption of divine right an hysterical delusion. Otherwise, you’re doing fine. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1739 | I think it's best if we see you more than just every other conquest. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1740 | No, you are not the healthiest individual ever to ascend the throne. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1741 | Your Highness, it looks like your Medicare cuts included you so it looks like we're going to have to put you down. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1742 | Your kingdom for some Xanax? | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1743 | Your difficulty breathing is caused by coal, Old King. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1744 | Well, you're fit for a king. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1745 | You can leave on the crown. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1746 | That's a common misconception, but no -- moats *are not* a safeguard against syphilis. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1747 | In your case, it truly is a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1748 | Your history notes you’ve been a failed real estate tycoon, a tv entertainer, a past President, and you’re here for a check up to qualify for lifetime King? | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1749 | I’d recommend more cardio if you want to be fit for a king. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1750 | I see you have Kaiser care | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1751 | I don't care you're dressed Bob. I'm not giving you the Royal treatment. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1752 | Okay, so in your case the prostrate exam is literally a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1753 | No. With Universal Healthcare, you’re get the same treatment as everybody else!! | 1.3256 | 0.05736 | 129 | 100 | 16 | 13 |
1754 | it seems that there was only minor improvement with the pipe and the bowl, i would like to try the fiddlers three and see if that helps. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1755 | I can write you a prescription, not a proclamation | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1756 | Blood type... blue negative. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1757 | It's just as I suspected: a smashed patriarchy. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1758 | Now all we need is a King's ransom and I can start the exam. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1759 | You've lost your mind, Mr. Claus. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1760 | When you say a Royal Pain are you suggesting it's something inherited? | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1761 | It's not me; it's the crown. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1762 | While unusual, it's not unheard of to have a royal pain in other parts of the body, Your Highness. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1763 | I'm afraid it's a hereditary condition. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1764 | Royal pain in the ass. Let's have a look. | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1765 | Ok your majesty, the crown jewels appear to be in order but as far as value goes I suggest you contact the Antiques Road show. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1766 | It says here that Royal Healthcare Services does not actually cover Royals. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1767 | Yes, you have ankle bone spurs. You're excused from Jousting | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1768 | I am sorry but I concur with the others. It’s the common cold. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1769 | Depression, your highness. I’m going to prescribe a daily dose of court jester, or if you prefer, daily Trump tweets have also been found equally effective. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1770 | Your Excellency, are you back for another case of Annus Horibillis? | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1771 | No sire. There is no mistake in the report. The colour of your blood id not blue. | 1.3256 | 0.05629 | 129 | 99 | 18 | 12 |
1772 | Hmmm, the DNA test says your ancestry is African! | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1773 | And you don’t know how the scepter got there? | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1774 | She stuck your scepter where? | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1775 | Technically, you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1776 | I'm afraid to say your condition is hereditary. | 1.3256 | 0.04818 | 129 | 92 | 32 | 5 |
1777 | Sorry, Your Highness, the opening goes in the back. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1778 | You might want to consider becoming the king of kale. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1779 | I see you have Medicare a la king. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1780 | You have a case of hemorrhoids, perhaps you've been sitting on the throne too long. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1781 | I thought I was the Burger King. Now, you tell me, I'm the Dairy Queen. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1782 | I'm afraid I can only give you the redacted diagnosis. I can, however tell you that you still weigh 239 and will probably live for 200 years. | 1.3256 | 0.05736 | 129 | 100 | 16 | 13 |
1783 | 'Royal pain in the ass' is only an expression, Majesty. Shall we disrobe and have a look ? | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1784 | What about becoming the Veggie Burger King? | 1.3256 | 0.05736 | 129 | 100 | 16 | 13 |
1785 | Sorry Donald. You have bone spurs and are not eligible to be drafted | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1786 | I’ll send a raven when the results come in. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1787 | I'm afraid the prognosis is not good for your crown jewels. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1788 | The tests are definitive: it's checkmate. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1789 | I'm prescribing you something because your test results show that uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. | 1.3256 | 0.04942 | 129 | 93 | 30 | 6 |
1790 | It looks like you’ve been diagnosed with imposter syndrome. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1791 | And Donald, again, when you look into the mirror, whom do you see? | 1.3256 | 0.05521 | 129 | 98 | 20 | 11 |
1792 | King Wenceslas, you have frostbite. | 1.3256 | 0.05063 | 129 | 94 | 28 | 7 |
1793 | Yes, of course it is difficult to determine if you have delusions of grandeur, your majesty. | 1.3256 | 0.05410 | 129 | 97 | 22 | 10 |
1794 | Before we begin the exam, you're wearing the robe backwards. | 1.3256 | 0.05181 | 129 | 95 | 26 | 8 |
1795 | You gotta lay off the burger,king. | 1.3256 | 0.05297 | 129 | 96 | 24 | 9 |
1796 | You have an advanced case of obsolescence. | 1.3254 | 0.05265 | 126 | 93 | 25 | 8 |
1797 | I'm sorry your majesty, but you where diagnosed with a rather common disease. | 1.3254 | 0.05018 | 126 | 91 | 29 | 6 |
1798 | If you apply the ointment as prescribed, it will no longer feel as if you were sitting on an Iron Throne. | 1.3248 | 0.05406 | 117 | 86 | 24 | 7 |
1799 | So...you’re hesitant using the “Royal We”? | 1.3246 | 0.05502 | 114 | 84 | 23 | 7 |
1800 | The good news is you have a pure gold statue of your daughter now. | 1.3241 | 0.04682 | 145 | 105 | 33 | 7 |
1801 | Well, there's pain, and then there's royal pain. | 1.3241 | 0.04882 | 145 | 107 | 29 | 9 |
1802 | I suggest you consult your regular doctor.” | 1.3241 | 0.05708 | 108 | 80 | 21 | 7 |
1803 | No you can't run for the Emperor of the U.S., that Kingship is already taken | 1.3233 | 0.05500 | 133 | 102 | 19 | 12 |
1804 | I'm afraid you have white privilege. | 1.3231 | 0.05484 | 130 | 99 | 20 | 11 |
1805 | Looks like you're good as gold. | 1.3231 | 0.05030 | 130 | 95 | 28 | 7 |
1806 | More salad, less whoppers from now on. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1807 | "Royal Pain in the Ass" is not a diagnosis. Its hemorroids. | 1.3228 | 0.05796 | 127 | 99 | 15 | 13 |
1808 | My advice is stop eating at Burger King. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1809 | Your test results are in : you have Crown's disease. It turns you into a giant parasite. But don't worry : there is a revolutionary cure. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1810 | Take off your crown and bend over. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1811 | You’ll have to give up your pipe, King Cole, but not your bowl nor your fiddlers three. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1812 | Do you have to wear that every time I check your prostate? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1813 | Your last checkup was 600 years ago. We'll have to check your insurance | 1.3228 | 0.04728 | 127 | 90 | 33 | 4 |
1814 | Your cholesterol test confirmed it: you are the Burger King. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1815 | You'll be ok, just lay off the cheese whoppers. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1816 | From now on, less pipe and more fiddlers. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1817 | Your genetics are troubling. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1818 | Would you classify ‘turning everything to gold’ a positive or negative symptom? | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1819 | No, beheadings do not count toward your daily thirty minutes of cardio. | 1.3228 | 0.05577 | 127 | 97 | 19 | 11 |
1820 | How long have you been experiencing royal highness? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1821 | Have you been out in a cold wind, Mr. Lear? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1822 | If it's really essential,I'd move to a synthetic ermine. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1823 | Didn't my nurse tell you that your gown should open to the back? | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1824 | So, panic attacks induced by fear of violent succession by greedy children, huh? Yeah I’m gonna have to stick my finger up your ass. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1825 | Well, I guess it's logical. You have a king-sised prostate. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1826 | I've had patients lie to me before, but you tell some Whoppers. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1827 | I suggest retirement, and rebrand the chain “Burger Prince.” | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1828 | I'm afraid you have Trumpitis! | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1829 | Yes, as a matter of fact the cost is a king's ransom. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1830 | May I call you Louis? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1831 | It says here you are King of Burgers. Is that a country? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1832 | No, Your Majesty, your blood isn’t actually blue. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1833 | The tests show that you have an allergy to ermine. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1834 | It doesn't matter what you wear, you're still stuck with that balance of power thing. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1835 | We have a prognosis on M. Dumpty... you just don't have enough horses or men to put him together again. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1836 | You signed this referral form yourself, didn't you? | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1837 | Good news, sir. Your prostrate is fine, but I had to move several of your sycophants out of the way to find it. | 1.3228 | 0.05688 | 127 | 98 | 17 | 12 |
1838 | I'm afraid my only method to cure you is a series of impeachment hearings. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1839 | Mr. Lear, would you like your daughters to join us before going over your results? | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1840 | You really should lay off the Whoppers. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1841 | Do your subjects know any chants other than long live the king? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1842 | You know I was kidding when I asked about your family jewels, right? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1843 | Heavy is the bladder with an enlarged prostate. | 1.3228 | 0.05577 | 127 | 97 | 19 | 11 |
1844 | I am going to prescribe you a new set of clothes | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1845 | Medicare, I presume. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1846 | Your Grace, the online diagnostics are confusing... they say: "The King is dead, long live the King." | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1847 | So you used to be a caterpillar? | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1848 | It's called "castling". It's your body's way of avoiding checkmate. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1849 | The problem is not with you per se but with your crown jewels. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1850 | Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown without the right kind of foam pillow. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1851 | Well, your Highness, having a whipping boy for a stand in defeats the purpose of prostate exam. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1852 | The emperor has no toes. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1853 | Your prognosis is that in the future you will be played by Glenda Jackson. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1854 | If by "the royal disease" you mean gonorrhea, then yes. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1855 | You have a severe case of royal pain in the ass. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1856 | We usually just send a postcard to confirm an appointment. But yeah, sure, a "royal invitation." | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1857 | Throne sores, your highness....Again. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1858 | You don't have bone spurs, or weigh 238 pounds, and your IQ isn't the highest in the world ever. | 1.3228 | 0.05796 | 127 | 99 | 15 | 13 |
1859 | Aside from people telling you you're naked. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1860 | I see you’re complaining of: "Uneasy lies the head.” We often see that in heads that wear the crown. | 1.3228 | 0.04728 | 127 | 90 | 33 | 4 |
1861 | I'm afraid this is no common cold. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1862 | Overall your health is good,but you suffer from grandiose delusions. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1863 | It says here you're suffering from a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1864 | The crown's okay but the robe has to open in back. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1865 | So, where is this 'royal pain' you're complaining of? | 1.3228 | 0.05688 | 127 | 98 | 17 | 12 |
1866 | Sorry, King. No more having it your way with the burgers and fries. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1867 | I'm sorry your majesty, in reviewing your test results we need to remove the Crown Jewels at once. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1868 | Frankly, I'm a bit worried about your low blue blood cell count. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1869 | I assumed everything’s hereditary | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1870 | I’m sorry to inform you, your Highness, but your family jewels seem to have lost their luster. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1871 | It's just a bout of gout. I'm prescribing four and twenty Blackbirds, baked in a pie. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1872 | The tests show you're not who you said you were | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1873 | I'm afraid taking off your clothes is a risk you'll just have to take. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1874 | You appear to have a superiority complex. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1875 | First name Your? And your date of birth Mr. Majesty? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1876 | Might be time for a succession plan. | 1.3228 | 0.04728 | 127 | 90 | 33 | 4 |
1877 | Being fired by Burger King does not constitute a medical emergency. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1878 | Alright, if you insist. We need a throne sample. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1879 | Have you decreed anything unusual lately? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1880 | No pipe. Less bowl. More fiddlers. | 1.3228 | 0.05577 | 127 | 97 | 19 | 11 |
1881 | Quite the family history. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1882 | I suppose you can keep the crown on. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1883 | It says here that you don't have health insurance. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1884 | Don’t worry. It’s only a royal flush. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1885 | Sorry to keep you waiting. We doctors are very busy. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1886 | I won't bend the knee. However, for the next exam, it would help if you did. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1887 | ObamaCare won't pay for it. Your social utility score is too low." | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1888 | Are you insured? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1889 | Since I’m a health care servant provider, you’re covered. | 1.3228 | 0.05577 | 127 | 97 | 19 | 11 |
1890 | Well, sadly, the tests conclude that you're a royal pain. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1891 | Just out of curiosity, do you think the prince is well-suited to rule? | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1892 | Your old soul's merry enough but I don't like the looks of your cholesterol. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1893 | No Your Majesty, this is what clothes feel like when you actually wear them... your chief of staff had been pranking you this whole time | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1894 | Psychiatrist is down the hall. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1895 | Yes, you're going to have to remove your crown as well. | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1896 | Is your royal pain more like the sharp pinch of putting down dissent, or the dull ache of an oppressive monarchy? | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1897 | I'm afraid a Royal Pardon doesn't count as a deductible your honor. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1898 | I’m afraid your subjects are right. You have no backbone. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1899 | Not only is there such a condition as "A Royal Pain," but you seem to have it. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1900 | I am going to ask you to disrobe. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1901 | Forgive me, but it is a rather pedestrian diagnosis. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1902 | Looks like it's the crown that is making your head lie uneasy. | 1.3228 | 0.04455 | 127 | 88 | 37 | 2 |
1903 | There aren’t many colorful ways I can say this, but I’m gonna go with “Checkmate.” | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1904 | The crown may be gold but unfortunately thine health care plan is bronze. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1905 | Do you have a successor plan in place? | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1906 | How many blackbirds were baked in that pie? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1907 | I’m afraid the bishop has you in check mate. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1908 | We don't have "a Royal Pain" on our scale - could you please just use a number? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1909 | This calls for the royal treatment. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1910 | You need a doctor’s note? | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1911 | I understand Emperor, but for me to do a thorough exam you will have to remove your clothes. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1912 | When was the last time someone tasted your food ? | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1913 | Hmm, yes, you do have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1914 | Inbred, narcissist, cross dresser with gout. You’ve passed your royal pre-employment physical. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1915 | So...as we suspected, that “heavy’’ feeling that you have in your head? It is the crown... | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1916 | It's time to pass on the crown" | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1917 | Are you spending a lot of time on the throne? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1918 | So once a king always a king, but once a night's not enough? | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1919 | Toelessness is actually more common than you’d think. | 1.3228 | 0.05577 | 127 | 97 | 19 | 11 |
1920 | No, leather bags of jewels don't count toward a deductible. | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1921 | Do you prefer to pay for this with credit card, check, or the sweat and toil of nine thousand serfs? | 1.3228 | 0.04858 | 127 | 91 | 31 | 5 |
1922 | ... and that’s spelled “L E A R”, correct? | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1923 | Well, your blood pressure is still pretty high and mighty. | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1924 | Only positive results, your Highness. "Your physical strength and stamina are extraordinary. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1925 | And you say, “You’re a stable genius?” | 1.3228 | 0.05109 | 127 | 93 | 27 | 7 |
1926 | If it makes you feel better, you do have KING crabs. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1927 | Stay out of the moat next time you are intoxicated from celebrating winning a war. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1928 | Sir, you have put on your royal hospital gown backwards. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1929 | So you want the letter to say that you're the healthiest individual ever to be crowned king? | 1.3228 | 0.05463 | 127 | 96 | 21 | 10 |
1930 | Would you describe the pain as royal? | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1931 | We have a higher survival rate than Game of Thrones. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1932 | Yes a colonoscopy is part of the royal treatment. | 1.3228 | 0.05230 | 127 | 94 | 25 | 8 |
1933 | This says you're sick and tired of being a king. | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1934 | Of course it's a royal pain Sire, but could you be more specific? | 1.3228 | 0.04985 | 127 | 92 | 29 | 6 |
1935 | Hmmm. It says, "have it your way". | 1.3228 | 0.04728 | 127 | 90 | 33 | 4 |
1936 | I have the tests results, the problem’s your family jewels. | 1.3228 | 0.05348 | 127 | 95 | 23 | 9 |
1937 | Our pain scale does not include "Royal." | 1.3226 | 0.04932 | 124 | 89 | 30 | 5 |
1938 | Unfortunately, Sire, according to these charts, it’s not good to be King. | 1.3226 | 0.05316 | 124 | 92 | 24 | 8 |
1939 | No, the 'royal treatment' is colonoscopy. | 1.3217 | 0.05024 | 115 | 82 | 29 | 4 |
1940 | I have some bad news. It looks like you're not covered." | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1941 | You are royally screwed! | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1942 | I'm afraid you've been diagnosed with Trumpitis, and there's no known cure. | 1.3217 | 0.05733 | 115 | 87 | 19 | 9 |
1943 | King Midas, perhaps you should, umm, 'self-pleasure' a bit less frequently? | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1944 | The tests confirmed what I suspected : you have feet of clay. | 1.3217 | 0.05599 | 115 | 86 | 21 | 8 |
1945 | I'll test it again, but you have red blood. | 1.3217 | 0.06120 | 115 | 90 | 13 | 12 |
1946 | No, no, your majesty, I said you were HAVING a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3217 | 0.05319 | 115 | 84 | 25 | 6 |
1947 | How heavy lies the crown? | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1948 | You're a white male. You'll be fine. | 1.3217 | 0.05865 | 115 | 88 | 17 | 10 |
1949 | Yes, wearing the crown is causing your scoliosis. | 1.3217 | 0.05994 | 115 | 89 | 15 | 11 |
1950 | Merry old soul or not, you still need a statin prescription. | 1.3217 | 0.05319 | 115 | 84 | 25 | 6 |
1951 | I’m afraid this is an inherited condition. | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1952 | The fiddlers three can stay, the rest has got to go. | 1.3217 | 0.05599 | 115 | 86 | 21 | 8 |
1953 | The good news is we have a diagnoses; you have a giant hemorrhoid. The bad news is it’s going to be a royal pain in the ass to remove. | 1.3217 | 0.05733 | 115 | 87 | 19 | 9 |
1954 | If I run a high fever, do you call that a Royal Flush? | 1.3217 | 0.05461 | 115 | 85 | 23 | 7 |
1955 | Good news. It’s just a royal pain in the neck. | 1.3217 | 0.05319 | 115 | 84 | 25 | 6 |
1956 | Your MRI shows your arteries appear to be clogged with gold. | 1.3217 | 0.05319 | 115 | 84 | 25 | 6 |
1957 | Not colony, colonoscopy | 1.3217 | 0.05733 | 115 | 87 | 19 | 9 |
1958 | Your right is divine, but your left is lousy. | 1.3203 | 0.05195 | 128 | 95 | 25 | 8 |
1959 | I usually prescribe witch hazel pads for that, but if it's a royal pain, you may need a medicated cream. | 1.3203 | 0.04826 | 128 | 92 | 31 | 5 |
1960 | Gown open to the back please. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1961 | I'm afraid this diagnosis is not 'Fake News' | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1962 | Throwing me to the lions isn't going cure your VD... | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1963 | And you’re wearing your new clothes under that?” Jacqueline Moran, Canada | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1964 | I assume you'll be able to pay for this? | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1965 | Your blood "line" might say you are the one true ruler of all the kingdoms in the land but your blood "work" says you have hypertension. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1966 | Did you just say "My kingdom for Medicare"? | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1967 | Basically, you have to stop eating like a king | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1968 | No......I don't jest you..... | 1.3200 | 0.05518 | 125 | 95 | 20 | 10 |
1969 | Unfortunately, there's no antidote for blue blood. | 1.3200 | 0.04628 | 125 | 88 | 34 | 3 |
1970 | More cardio - I’m recommending a Standing Throne. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1971 | Insurance is a system where someone helps you cover your medical bills. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1972 | There's been great strides in medicine. Bring that Humpty Dumpty in and let's see what we can do. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1973 | I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the tumor you have is a very slow-growing one. The bad news is that it's already 500 years old. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1974 | I’m so sorry, your blood tested positive for plebeian. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1975 | Judging from these results, you’re spending far too much time on the throne. | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1976 | Sure, I can give you a note for work. | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1977 | I have good news or bad news. What does your sire wish to hear? | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1978 | No more pipes and no more bowls, and cut the fiddlers down to two a day. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1979 | Carpal Tunnel comes from constant, repetitious hand movement such as texting. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1980 | The good news is you'l live to rule another day! | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1981 | Sorry. Your blood is not yet blue. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1982 | It looks like your patella has abdicated the knee joint. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1983 | Actually, it opens in the back. | 1.3200 | 0.04765 | 125 | 89 | 32 | 4 |
1984 | Does four-and-twenty blackbirds mean anything to you? | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1985 | I'm afraid Medicaid won't pay for this. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1986 | Considering your general appearance, I’d wager it’s a royal flush. | 1.3200 | 0.04765 | 125 | 89 | 32 | 4 |
1987 | Your Majesty, You're totally Exonerated. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1988 | Rumour has it that you are a royal pain in the ass. These medical tests confirm the diagnosis. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1989 | Didn’t they tell you robe open in the back? | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
1990 | I don't think your despotism is getting any better but I think I can get you a favorable position with a hamburger chain I'm invested in if you can smile big and hold it. | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1991 | have you heard the expression 'you're royally screwed' | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1992 | No, 'royal pain' is just an expression. Actually you have colo-rectal cancer. | 1.3200 | 0.05518 | 125 | 95 | 20 | 10 |
1993 | I suggest you do not reveal your DNA test result. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1994 | Sorry to keep you waiting so long. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1995 | Your touch may be golden but mine indicates a prostate problem. | 1.3200 | 0.04899 | 125 | 90 | 30 | 5 |
1996 | I'm afraid that all this looking down on people has done a number on your neck. | 1.3200 | 0.05400 | 125 | 94 | 22 | 9 |
1997 | I’m afraid you might have a king-size problem. | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
1998 | too much royal jelly has given you a sore throne | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
1999 | Maybe it's not so good to be the king. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
2000 | Your royal heiny is suffering from too much time on the throne | 1.3200 | 0.05029 | 125 | 91 | 28 | 6 |
2001 | You'll be pleased to know that as your treating physician, I do see your new clothes. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
2002 | You have a royal pain in your what? | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
2003 | Are we clear now that the scepter is only for ceremonial use? | 1.3200 | 0.04899 | 125 | 90 | 30 | 5 |
2004 | Perhaps if you changed your diet you wouldn’t have to spend so much time on the throne. | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
2005 | I don't want to lose my head over this but.... | 1.3200 | 0.04899 | 125 | 90 | 30 | 5 |
2006 | And you say you had something similar in the 10th century? | 1.3200 | 0.05156 | 125 | 92 | 26 | 7 |
2007 | The crown jewels appear to be in good order | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
2008 | I’ve got good news, and more good news. | 1.3200 | 0.05279 | 125 | 93 | 24 | 8 |
2009 | I think you misheard 'Colony' with 'Colonoscopy'. | 1.3188 | 0.04931 | 138 | 102 | 28 | 8 |
2010 | Looks like you’ve had it your way too often with your whopper. | 1.3188 | 0.05141 | 138 | 104 | 24 | 10 |
2011 | No, I can assure you that it was red. | 1.3185 | 0.05114 | 135 | 101 | 25 | 9 |
2012 | It's from too much time on the throne—I'll give you some ointment. | 1.3178 | 0.05042 | 129 | 95 | 27 | 7 |
2013 | I'm afraid your horses and men were correct sire..... Humptey didn't make it..." | 1.3178 | 0.06027 | 107 | 82 | 16 | 9 |
2014 | Kale. | 1.3175 | 0.05480 | 126 | 96 | 20 | 10 |
2015 | Is there any history of Affluenza in your family? | 1.3175 | 0.04734 | 126 | 90 | 32 | 4 |
2016 | The good news is we know why your head lies uneasy. | 1.3175 | 0.04995 | 126 | 92 | 28 | 6 |
2017 | Yeah, that's not how sex works. | 1.3175 | 0.05707 | 126 | 98 | 16 | 12 |
2018 | Sorry, but if you had Obamacare, it would be covered. | 1.3175 | 0.05243 | 126 | 94 | 24 | 8 |
2019 | We were pleased to upgrade you from the Presidential Gown to the Royal Robe; unfortunately, the proctology report is still not good. | 1.3173 | 0.05840 | 104 | 78 | 19 | 7 |
2020 | What you have is indeed a royal pain...! | 1.3172 | 0.04864 | 145 | 108 | 28 | 9 |
2021 | Strangest thing. Says here you've got blue blood. | 1.3172 | 0.05057 | 145 | 110 | 24 | 11 |
2022 | I'm sorry your majesty, we're going to have to amputate your head. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2023 | I am sorry to report you have lost the Midas touch. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2024 | Your cholesterol is a little rich. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2025 | Your regal rectum is royally screwed | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2026 | First, I need to collect your co-pay. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2027 | It's nothing serious, but I advise you not to eat any more of those 24 blackbird pies. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2028 | It appears to be a hereditary condition" | 1.3171 | 0.04804 | 123 | 88 | 31 | 4 |
2029 | Your medical family history seems to indicate that your parents were related.... | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2030 | Looks good from here but you’ll need a dentist to check that crown..... | 1.3171 | 0.04663 | 123 | 87 | 33 | 3 |
2031 | Your LDL score is a Whopper... | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2032 | You're fit to be King. | 1.3171 | 0.05693 | 123 | 95 | 17 | 11 |
2033 | Bad news I’m afraid. Your reign is over. | 1.3171 | 0.04804 | 123 | 88 | 31 | 4 |
2034 | You might want to consider taking it easy on the mead. | 1.3171 | 0.04804 | 123 | 88 | 31 | 4 |
2035 | Your old soul has a severe deficiency of merriness. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2036 | Is it possible that your mother and father were sister and brother? | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2037 | If you tell me who gets the Iron Throne, I'll tell you your cholesterol levels. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2038 | I'm sorry, but your job's health insurance doesn't cover this | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2039 | I’m sorry sir, this disease doesn’t exist anymore” | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2040 | I admire your ability to get into character! You have both gout and the plague. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2041 | Best set of labs I have ever seen. All the results are positive. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2042 | Take two hamlets and call me in the morning. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2043 | You need to cut down on Feudalism. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2044 | Your digestive system will never obey you, you must obey it. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2045 | Well, judging from the x-rays, that crown needs replacing. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2046 | All I can say is, it’s the last season of Game of Thrones and we’re all depressed. | 1.3171 | 0.05454 | 123 | 93 | 21 | 9 |
2047 | You're really going to have cut down on the blackbirds. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2048 | I'm afraid it's not always good to be king. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2049 | I'm afraid I need to look up your royal chamber. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2050 | Four-and-twenty blackbirds is too many at one sitting. | 1.3171 | 0.04663 | 123 | 87 | 33 | 3 |
2051 | Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's coming up spades. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2052 | Among ourselves we proctologists refer to your condition as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2053 | Divine privilege goes only so far. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2054 | One pill will clear “your little majesty” right up. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2055 | Your chart says that you're fit for a king. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2056 | I'm afraid your merry old soul needs more work, King Cole. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2057 | So just how good is the royal insurance? | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2058 | Unfortunately, your majesty, the insurance company considers royal pains to be a pre-existing condition. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2059 | Do you want the royal news or the dungeon ones first? | 1.3171 | 0.05575 | 123 | 94 | 19 | 10 |
2060 | we're missing your XVth & XVIIth cent. family records. | 1.3171 | 0.05575 | 123 | 94 | 19 | 10 |
2061 | "The Emperor has no clothes" story is still a distress but at some point of the examination Your Majesty will have to stand naked. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2062 | Frankly, I think the diagnosis of " royal pain in the ass" matches your symptoms. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2063 | You have a royally enlarged prostate. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2064 | In fact, your Highness, since Congress dismantled the Affordable Care Act, you are my sole remaining patient. | 1.3171 | 0.05454 | 123 | 93 | 21 | 9 |
2065 | Physically you're fine. The paranoia can probably be attributed to you age - everyone is pretty fed up with you by now. | 1.3171 | 0.05204 | 123 | 91 | 25 | 7 |
2066 | Your oldest son says tough noogies. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2067 | You're pregnant. | 1.3171 | 0.05809 | 123 | 96 | 15 | 12 |
2068 | You'll receive more favorable insurance coverage with a diagnosis of hemorrhoids rather than a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2069 | Your soul seems to be older than we thought. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2070 | Most guys schedule it during the jousting championships. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2071 | Don't worry, it happens to all the king's men. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2072 | I'm sorry, but you'll have to wear one of our robes. | 1.3171 | 0.05074 | 123 | 90 | 27 | 6 |
2073 | I'm afraid an executive order won't fix it. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2074 | No, even for you Medicare will not cover a hearing test! | 1.3171 | 0.05330 | 123 | 92 | 23 | 8 |
2075 | It’s a royal pain in the ass alright. | 1.3171 | 0.04941 | 123 | 89 | 29 | 5 |
2076 | Well doctor , ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a QUEEN ... | 1.3167 | 0.05156 | 120 | 88 | 26 | 6 |
2077 | Our entire staff agrees that "posterior discomfort" is your primary condition. | 1.3162 | 0.05081 | 136 | 102 | 25 | 9 |
2078 | Do you want the truth? | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
2079 | Are you experiencing any delusions? | 1.3158 | 0.05886 | 114 | 88 | 16 | 10 |
2080 | I didn't realize we had hospital gowns like that. | 1.3158 | 0.05753 | 114 | 87 | 18 | 9 |
2081 | I always wanted to have the gout, its such a regal disease. | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
2082 | Don't worry, you'll get rid of the headache very soon! I'll prescribe a revolution. | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
2083 | I'm going to prescribe a jester. | 1.3158 | 0.04876 | 114 | 81 | 30 | 3 |
2084 | I meant "Any MEDICAL hereditary concerns?" | 1.3158 | 0.05033 | 114 | 82 | 28 | 4 |
2085 | Your Majesty has contracted a Maje-s-t-d | 1.3158 | 0.05753 | 114 | 87 | 18 | 9 |
2086 | I think it's safe to say, it was Cinderella. | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
2087 | Does it open in the back? | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2088 | Stop touching it if it keeps turning to gold, Midas. | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2089 | ‘I’m afraid that’s checkmate | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2090 | Looks like you’re going to need the royal treatment. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2091 | Your tests show no reason for insomnia. I suggest you stop calling for your pipe in the middle of the night and tell your fiddlers three to get another room. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2092 | Great news, your Highness! You’re in excellent overall health. You have normal blood pressure, a low PSA, you’re a svelte 239 pounds, and you have no cognitive or mental issues whatsoever. Best of all, you now have me as your next cabinet minister! | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2093 | Sir, this says you’ve eaten a Whopper every meal for fifty years. | 1.3145 | 0.05293 | 124 | 93 | 23 | 8 |
2094 | I’m concerned you’re spending too much time on the throne | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2095 | I'm a little worried about the blue blood. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2096 | Yes, I agree. They really can be a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2097 | Yes, but there’s still a co-payment. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2098 | The test results came back positive for delusions of grandeur | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2099 | Next time, check the throne before sitting down. | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2100 | Don't be sad,cancer is the king of maladies. | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2101 | You have a very high blue blood count. | 1.3145 | 0.05168 | 124 | 92 | 25 | 7 |
2102 | Now, about this "royal pain in the ass" you're mentioning... | 1.3145 | 0.04908 | 124 | 90 | 29 | 5 |
2103 | Everything else looks good. Now show me that royal pain. | 1.3145 | 0.05039 | 124 | 91 | 27 | 6 |
2104 | The royal wee sample is clear. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2105 | Any increase in the time you spend sitting on the throne? | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2106 | Yes, these results are astounding, but you'll have to contact the folks at 23andMe with any questions. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2107 | Do you want to hear the real news or the fake news? | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2108 | And while your sudden preoccupation concerns me, I can confirm your new clothes are visible on every scan." | 1.3140 | 0.04699 | 121 | 86 | 32 | 3 |
2109 | Sure, if the magic key shows up during your prostate exam, I will hand it right over to you. | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2110 | Your blood work is normal, including color. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2111 | Your merry old soul needs to stop calling for your pipe. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2112 | The fact that you're a "jolly old soul" is entirely beside the point. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2113 | No, your scepter elbow doesn't worry me as much as this family history of frequent beheadings. | 1.3140 | 0.04550 | 121 | 85 | 34 | 2 |
2114 | You know, because of your new dental tax the cost of your crowns has gone up. | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2115 | Suit yourself, but normally we provide the robe. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2116 | The fiddlers three can stay--but the pipe and bowl have to go. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2117 | Looks like you're allergic to peasants . | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2118 | I understand that it’s a royal pain but yes, treatment does require your Majesty to turn around and bend over like a commoner. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2119 | You're in surprisingly good shape, considering you're the "Burger King!" | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2120 | You'll need to come in for some royal blood tests. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2121 | I'm sorry Mr. Trump but your still not a king | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2122 | You're going to need more than a Midas Touch to pay for this. | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2123 | Your blood isn't actually blue... | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2124 | No, it’s your edict. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2125 | I know you’re the king but I still need a copay. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2126 | Looks like it's time for your annual Royal Flush | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2127 | I’d say you’re golden, Midas. | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2128 | Apart from a royal flush and a receding heir line, you are in excellent shape, your Majesty | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2129 | You need to stop playing with the crown jewels while sitting on the throne. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2130 | This says you've written your own glowing medical report and you have tested positive for everything. | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2131 | Sorry, your Majesty, not having a heart is a pre-existing condition, and your health insurance won’t cover that. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2132 | You’re going to need a new crown. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2133 | You're telling me your scepter is stuck WHERE? | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2134 | At least you haven't lost your head. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2135 | For the last time, if the four-and-twenty blackbirds begin to sing, the pie's giving you food poisoning | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2136 | You say it’s a royal pain in the ass. I say it’s a boil. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2137 | No I don't think an "Executive Order" will circumvent your need for a prostate exam. | 1.3140 | 0.05754 | 121 | 94 | 16 | 11 |
2138 | It’s your cholesterol numbers...Your Highness. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2139 | Your test results confirm that you must lay off the pipe, quit the bowl and cut back from three fiddlers to just one. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2140 | So ... I don't suppose you know how Game of Thrones ends? | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2141 | That's not what 'long live the king' actually means. | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2142 | Do you want your real evaluation or the one you paid me for? | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2143 | Too many burgers, king. | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2144 | I might be able to help, but don't touch me. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2145 | A Whopper a day is not the same as an apple a day! | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2146 | Are you 'the' single-payer? | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2147 | When you say “impotence”, are you referring to your political influence? | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2148 | Let me put this in terms you will understand: your scepter is broken. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2149 | Well Richard, it's not good. You literally have the heart of a lion. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2150 | ...and apply it to Your Majesty's affected area twice daily until the pain is less royal. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2151 | We can call it a throne if that makes you more comfortable. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2152 | It turns out you're allergic to ermine! | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2153 | And how many times a day would you say you “sit on the throne.” | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2154 | Not so good to be the King today! | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2155 | The tests indicate that you are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2156 | Yes, you could say hemorrhoids are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2157 | I'm afraid the regulations are clear: you do not qualify for continued health insurance coverage if you lose your job because of a revolution. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2158 | Okay, have it your way. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2159 | A royal flush, Your Majesty? How long ago was that | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2160 | I’m afraid it’s severe heirloss | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2161 | Well, it's not psychosis.. but we're still waiting on the fashion consult. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2162 | You can continue the fiddlers three, but you're going to have to quit the pipe and cut back on the bowl. | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2163 | So, sire. Which report do you want me to release to your subjects? | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2164 | No, your majesty, your personal health problems don't improve just because you are "a single-payer healthcare system." | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2165 | It's the royal wheeze. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2166 | Nothing you touch turns to gold, and you have gout. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2167 | I see here that your family history is unremarkable. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2168 | Your tests came back. Unfortunately, it looks like checkmate. | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2169 | Blood pressure is good, but your tyranny levels are concerning | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2170 | The DNA is conclusive: Trump is not your son! | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2171 | Your hernia is a real whopper | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2172 | So, you would describe it as a royal pain? | 1.3140 | 0.04844 | 121 | 87 | 30 | 4 |
2173 | Based on these results you may want to start planning that State funeral | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2174 | So, King George, let's start with the abandonment issues. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2175 | I see you brought your own robe...now if we could just put the opening to the back... | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2176 | "Apparently it is time for you to cut back on that 'Merry Old Soul' stuff." | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2177 | You might want to cut back to one fiddler and no pipe. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2178 | You say you're feeling this "royal pain" where, exactly? | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2179 | If I tell you your diagnosis, you won't have me sent to the gallows right? | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2180 | So then it IS a royal pain. | 1.3140 | 0.05509 | 121 | 92 | 20 | 9 |
2181 | I'm afraid we're going to have to get the family jewels re-appraised. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2182 | It's the blood pressure. I'm concerned about your highness. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2183 | There must be some mistake. This order isn't for a regal exam. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2184 | Indeed Prince Charles, isn't she an amazing woman your Mother, still going strong. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2185 | So just how long have you had this pain in your royal ass? | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2186 | The nurse was supposed to tell you that it opens in the back. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2187 | THE GOOD NEWS ARE: YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH GOD TOMORROW AT 5.00 PM IN HIS OFFICE. | 1.3140 | 0.05754 | 121 | 94 | 16 | 11 |
2188 | The results of your colonoscopy explain why you're such a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2189 | Turning you back into a frog might solve the problem, but you still wouldn't live that long. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2190 | It says here you are suffering from a royal pain in the butt? | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2191 | Your hubris count is a little high, cognitive skills so-so. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2192 | I am afraid it is checkmate. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2193 | Just how many pipes and bowls are we talking about, Mr. Cole? | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2194 | You need to take some time off. Your blood pressure is off the charts with this Dumpty business. | 1.3140 | 0.05633 | 121 | 93 | 18 | 10 |
2195 | Let's just say that I wouldn't put stock into that whole "long live the king" mantra... | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2196 | I am sorry, your Majesty, you have Crown's disease. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2197 | So I think you have a narcissistic personality discorder. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2198 | Bloodletting is out of network. | 1.3140 | 0.05253 | 121 | 90 | 24 | 7 |
2199 | Where is the Royal Pain? | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2200 | Looks like you need to spend less time on the throne. You’ve got hemorrhoids. | 1.3140 | 0.04984 | 121 | 88 | 28 | 5 |
2201 | I think you may be allergic to mink. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
2202 | Normal patient garments aren’t nearly this posh. You must have great insurance. | 1.3140 | 0.05120 | 121 | 89 | 26 | 6 |
2203 | I said to leave it open in the back. | 1.3136 | 0.05205 | 118 | 87 | 25 | 6 |
2204 | No, I think it is just hemorrhoids. | 1.3136 | 0.05607 | 118 | 90 | 19 | 9 |
2205 | When did you start feeling heavy-headed? | 1.3119 | 0.05326 | 109 | 80 | 24 | 5 |
2206 | The good news is you can pay in gold. | 1.3115 | 0.05085 | 122 | 90 | 26 | 6 |
2207 | Your soul is 5% less merry than last checkup...we're going to bump your daily dosage up to four fiddlers. | 1.3115 | 0.05592 | 122 | 94 | 18 | 10 |
2208 | Your Royal Highness, you’ll have to take it up with the insurance company. | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2209 | Your stamina is amazing for a middle ages man." | 1.3115 | 0.05216 | 122 | 91 | 24 | 7 |
2210 | And you say that you haven’t felt well since Cordelia died? | 1.3115 | 0.05085 | 122 | 90 | 26 | 6 |
2211 | There's been some really exciting advances with the guillotine. | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2212 | Which of your three daughters is in charge of your care? | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2213 | Do you still feel hot and have a headache most of the time? | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2214 | Great results, you can look forward to another year of being a jolly old soul! | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2215 | Listen, I'll stop by your showroom, but I'm pretty happy with my mattress. | 1.3115 | 0.05470 | 122 | 93 | 20 | 9 |
2216 | I'm afraid you have a problem with your scepter. | 1.3115 | 0.05216 | 122 | 91 | 24 | 7 |
2217 | The tests confirm that you are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3115 | 0.05344 | 122 | 92 | 22 | 8 |
2218 | Mrs. Midas should also come in to get tested. | 1.3115 | 0.05470 | 122 | 93 | 20 | 9 |
2219 | You’re remarkably merry for your age. | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2220 | And these heavy head symptoms have persisted ever since your promotion? | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2221 | Your Highness, I need to check your Highnie. | 1.3109 | 0.05816 | 119 | 93 | 15 | 11 |
2222 | You say your head lies uneasy?" | 1.3109 | 0.04884 | 119 | 86 | 29 | 4 |
2223 | Relax! I told the scribes that you’re the healthiest king to ever hold the throne. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2224 | Your yearly physical shows that you aren't officially obese. You will, however, have to wear shoes with 3 inch soles and a much longer robe . | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2225 | Unfortunately, the results show that your blood is red. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2226 | And this "royal" pain is where, exactly? | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2227 | Says here you want the royal treatment. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2228 | I know you were hoping for a royal disease like gout, but I'm afraid you have simple arthritis. | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
2229 | I'd like to put you in a research group, but you'll have to lose the crown and your wife's coat. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2230 | I see you have Coronary Artery Disease... | 1.3109 | 0.05028 | 119 | 87 | 27 | 5 |
2231 | I really don’t think killing the entire working class will cure your hemophilia. But I guess you’re right, it can’t hurt to try. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2232 | There's no easy way to say this: you must cut down on burgers. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2233 | No, I don't think a royal decree will help. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2234 | The fiddlers are fine but you need to cut down on the pipes and the bowls. | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2235 | You should make more use of the royal Wii. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2236 | 4 and 20 blackbirds, huh? That cannabis scrip is certainly working. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2237 | Unfortunately, it might be have to be Salad King from now on... | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2238 | Problems with the family jewels?" | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2239 | I checked your dental inssurance. It does't cover crowms. | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2240 | I know you are, but you still need a prostate exam. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2241 | Let me get this straight. My medical evaluation should read “The Queen is a detriment to the health of the sovereign and must be removed.” and I get to keep my life”-Done | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2242 | It’s what we suspected. You have no spine. | 1.3109 | 0.05167 | 119 | 88 | 25 | 6 |
2243 | Pain when sitting on the throne? I think I understand why they sent you to a proctologist. | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
2244 | Job or no job, I’m putting you on a Whopper free diet. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2245 | If you look at this closely you will see that the Divine Right of Doctors takes precedence over the Divine Right of Kings. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2246 | On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your delusions of grandeur? | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2247 | We wanted your robe opening to the back, your highness. | 1.3109 | 0.05028 | 119 | 87 | 27 | 5 |
2248 | I’m sorry King Midas, but given your condition, an MRI is not an option. | 1.3109 | 0.04884 | 119 | 86 | 29 | 4 |
2249 | A prescription for Viagra and getting royally screwed are not necessarily part of the same scenario, King. | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
2250 | First of all--you are not a king! | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2251 | Apologies your majesty, I can't explain your royal pain. | 1.3109 | 0.05436 | 119 | 90 | 21 | 8 |
2252 | Well King Midas, the good news is once you pass this stone the current price of gold will make it worth over $50,000. | 1.3109 | 0.05303 | 119 | 89 | 23 | 7 |
2253 | Here, you're expected to wait just like everybody else. | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
2254 | You are due for a royal flush. | 1.3109 | 0.05566 | 119 | 91 | 19 | 9 |
2255 | These haemorrhoids are a royal pain in the ass! | 1.3106 | 0.04825 | 132 | 97 | 29 | 6 |
2256 | It won't be conclusive, until you to turn a few more of my things into gold. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2257 | Your Majesty, when was the last time you took a Royal Flush? | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2258 | It’s actually meant to be literal. Stop wearing your crown to bed and your head will rest just fine. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2259 | You're old, King Cole. | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2260 | Perhaps Your Highness might consider an alternative explanation for the headache. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2261 | Well... turns out you’re fit for a king. | 1.3097 | 0.04882 | 113 | 81 | 29 | 3 |
2262 | Sorry King! A Merry old soul does not translate to having a healthy heart. | 1.3097 | 0.05633 | 113 | 86 | 19 | 8 |
2263 | The gown opening is supposed to go in the back. | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2264 | I'm afraid the body politic is rejecting you. | 1.3097 | 0.04882 | 113 | 81 | 29 | 3 |
2265 | You certainly have one majestic prostate | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2266 | I think you are suffering from delusions of grandeur | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2267 | Is anyone in your family allergic to ermine? | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2268 | The good news is that there is a cure. The bad news is that it costs a king's ransom. | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2269 | Sorry, it appears you put the robe on backwards. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2270 | 24 Blackbirds! Did you remove the feathers? | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2271 | No more pipe. No more bowl. Trust me; you’ll be a happier soul. | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2272 | Extended time on throne appears to have left you with what could only be described as a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2273 | Your results clearly show that you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2274 | On a scale of 1 to royal, how much pain are you in? | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2275 | Your blood sugar is a little high...I suggest increasing your pillaging to 30 minutes per day. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2276 | It seems we're dealing with a Royal pain in the butt! | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2277 | I see here that you recently had a royal flush | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2278 | Shall we disrobe? | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2279 | Scrofula | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2280 | If you want my help, you're going to have to be a little more forthcoming with your family history. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2281 | I'm afraid your corruption is terminal. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2282 | As I said before your highness, there currently is no cure for heheading…I am sorry for the loss of your wives... | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2283 | So your not feeling your merry ol’ Soul? | 1.3097 | 0.05041 | 113 | 82 | 27 | 4 |
2284 | The people are saying you don't have a heart, and I've found nothing to contradict them. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2285 | Well, this is not going to make you a merrie olde soul." | 1.3097 | 0.05907 | 113 | 88 | 15 | 10 |
2286 | Sir, you’ve put the gown on backwards | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2287 | Into everyone’s life a little reign must fall. | 1.3097 | 0.05907 | 113 | 88 | 15 | 10 |
2288 | Hypoglycemia can't be fixed by eating more cookies, Santa. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2289 | The king has no repose. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2290 | I regret to inform you King Kandy that you have type two diabetes. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2291 | When you get to the hospital, you'll have to wear the robe backwards. | 1.3097 | 0.04882 | 113 | 81 | 29 | 3 |
2292 | Hello Mr. Wenceslas, should I call you Good or Good King? | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2293 | We've ruled out hemorrhoids. It appears to be a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2294 | Looks like your highness is in cholesterol. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2295 | So, it's a royal pain in your ass? | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2296 | The test results confirm it. You're a merry old soul. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2297 | Your taxes are high. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2298 | Well, yes, we can call your hemorrhoids a Royal Pain in the Ass if you insist. | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2299 | The prostrate exam requires that you don your robe with the opening in the back. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2300 | The tests conclude that you ARE a pain in the ass! | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2301 | This diet has less fiber, so less time on "The Throne. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2302 | Your medicines are out of date. The pharmacy no longer offers wormwood, arsenic or mint. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2303 | I agree, majesty, your hemorrhoids are a royal pain. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2304 | Turn around. Time to check the Hall of the Mountain King. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2305 | We'll have to amputate it, but it's resale value should cover and medical costs | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2306 | I'm afraid the HMO won't accept "my kingdom" as payment. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2307 | I'm sorry sir, but taking Viagra won't cause you to have sons. I like your Halloween costume by the way. | 1.3097 | 0.05907 | 113 | 88 | 15 | 10 |
2308 | Your robe should open in the back. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2309 | I'm sorry, but where we ask here for 'blood type' on your medical intake form, 'Royal' is not among the options. | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
2310 | Most men your age spend more time on the throne. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2311 | Were you born with this condition? | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
2312 | Your previous dentist had a different idea about installing crowns | 1.3097 | 0.05633 | 113 | 86 | 19 | 8 |
2313 | Every time I get out the glove, it's a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3097 | 0.05195 | 113 | 83 | 25 | 5 |
2314 | Amazing - not only are you the healthiest king in the history of the world, but you grew five inches last year too! | 1.3089 | 0.05431 | 123 | 94 | 20 | 9 |
2315 | Looks like "royal pain". | 1.3089 | 0.05307 | 123 | 93 | 22 | 8 |
2316 | Your lab results are back. Can you be merry with just your bowl and two fiddlers? | 1.3089 | 0.05049 | 123 | 91 | 26 | 6 |
2317 | According to your chart you've been eating too much cake. | 1.3089 | 0.05049 | 123 | 91 | 26 | 6 |
2318 | I'm afraid it's a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3083 | 0.05650 | 120 | 93 | 17 | 10 |
2319 | This is too rich even for your blood. | 1.3083 | 0.05131 | 120 | 89 | 25 | 6 |
2320 | Looks like you beat that kidney stone with a royal flush. | 1.3083 | 0.04992 | 120 | 88 | 27 | 5 |
2321 | You say you worry about a receding heir line? | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
2322 | A laxative should improve the Royal Flush considerably. | 1.3083 | 0.05131 | 120 | 89 | 25 | 6 |
2323 | I afraid it's time to cut back on those burgers. | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
2324 | As your proctologist I can say you are sitting pretty. | 1.3083 | 0.05131 | 120 | 89 | 25 | 6 |
2325 | Well, your heart is fine, but I'm concerned about the Royal Jewels. | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
2326 | Yes it's conclusive, You are a Royal Pain in the Ass... | 1.3083 | 0.04992 | 120 | 88 | 27 | 5 |
2327 | You have a big problem and it’s a Whopper! | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
2328 | It looks like we're going to have to take the whopper off the menu for a while. | 1.3083 | 0.05131 | 120 | 89 | 25 | 6 |
2329 | So my nurse's notes here say it was large, purple, and what's this? Required a royal flush? | 1.3083 | 0.04992 | 120 | 88 | 27 | 5 |
2330 | No, I wasn’t referring to your throne when I said your stool is soft. | 1.3083 | 0.05265 | 120 | 90 | 23 | 7 |
2331 | Based on these test results you might need to become the Tofu King. | 1.3077 | 0.05355 | 117 | 88 | 22 | 7 |
2332 | Looks like it's genetic | 1.3077 | 0.05073 | 117 | 86 | 26 | 5 |
2333 | I'm afraid we'll have to remove your head. | 1.3077 | 0.05624 | 117 | 90 | 18 | 9 |
2334 | The lab says your Crown Jewels are only rhinestones. | 1.3077 | 0.05491 | 117 | 89 | 20 | 8 |
2335 | And you claim the sprain is from spinning a mattress sign? | 1.3077 | 0.05355 | 117 | 88 | 22 | 7 |
2336 | As long as you keep the coat on you’ll be fine. | 1.3077 | 0.05624 | 117 | 90 | 18 | 9 |
2337 | Now that you're 50, let's just say you'll be spending the weekend on another kind of throne. | 1.3077 | 0.05073 | 117 | 86 | 26 | 5 |
2338 | I'm afraid in your case a colonoscopy is the royal treatment. | 1.3077 | 0.05216 | 117 | 87 | 24 | 6 |
2339 | I'm sorry, your blood tests were negative for blue blood. | 1.3070 | 0.05305 | 114 | 85 | 23 | 6 |
2340 | The crown might have something to do with the frequent migraines. | 1.3070 | 0.05305 | 114 | 85 | 23 | 6 |
2341 | I’m not sure we should go with bone spurs again. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2342 | It says here regal hemorrhoids but our admissions staff used a different phrase. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2343 | I recommend more fiber in your diet so you can go back to having a royal flush. | 1.3070 | 0.05305 | 114 | 85 | 23 | 6 |
2344 | Can you describe the pain, other than royal? | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2345 | Sciatica is a royal pain in the butt. Ice it and get a donut for the throne. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2346 | Good overall, but you'll need to see a dentist about the crown. | 1.3070 | 0.05157 | 114 | 84 | 25 | 5 |
2347 | So lets discuss the royal pain part. | 1.3070 | 0.05590 | 114 | 87 | 19 | 8 |
2348 | Testicles, said the Queen, if I had them, I would be King. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2349 | It appears you have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3070 | 0.04846 | 114 | 82 | 29 | 3 |
2350 | If you want to live through the weekend, now you're the salmon burger king. | 1.3070 | 0.05590 | 114 | 87 | 19 | 8 |
2351 | Not so good to be the king, eh? | 1.3070 | 0.05157 | 114 | 84 | 25 | 5 |
2352 | Well, I guess we could call this a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3070 | 0.05590 | 114 | 87 | 19 | 8 |
2353 | You got it all wrong. It's QUEEN for a day! | 1.3070 | 0.05004 | 114 | 83 | 27 | 4 |
2354 | Well, first I'd like for all your horses and all your men to get a look at this report. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2355 | At least you didn't have to wait as long as Prince Charles. | 1.3070 | 0.05449 | 114 | 86 | 21 | 7 |
2356 | Even if you are lion-hearted, I'd cut back on the red meat. | 1.3070 | 0.05157 | 114 | 84 | 25 | 5 |
2357 | Would it be safe to say that your diet is primarily burgers and fries? | 1.3070 | 0.05004 | 114 | 83 | 27 | 4 |
2358 | you've heard the expression fit to be king? | 1.3061 | 0.05694 | 98 | 73 | 20 | 5 |
2359 | Yes, your tests came back bigly, with only positive results. | 1.3053 | 0.06184 | 95 | 73 | 15 | 7 |
2360 | Having a "merry old soul" is just about to payoff. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2361 | Another royal pain in the ass? | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2362 | The test results show that you've lost your Midas touch. | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2363 | It's fine to keep up with the fiddlers three, but you are going to have to give up the pipe and the bowl I'm afraid. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2364 | No such thing as ‘Executive Privilege’ in this place. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2365 | All the King's horses and all the Kings men are busy helping some Dumpty guy.. looks like you're on your own here. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2366 | I'm not sure how you want to handle this; it says your insurance covers all your men but your horses are out of network. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2367 | Unfortunately, it's a royal pain in the neck. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2368 | If you wish to remain a merry old soul you'll have to stop calling for your pipe and reduce the amount in your bowl. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2369 | Head weight induced neck pain. Comes with the territory. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2370 | I'll say it again. Sir, I do not move diagonally. I'm your physician, not your bishop. ... Tell me you haven't been playing with my rubber gloves. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2371 | You have delusions of grandeur. | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2372 | It’s a royal pain in the ass, your majesty. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2373 | Is it a Royal pain? | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2374 | Someone should’ve told you that the pie filled with four and twenty blackbirds was for presentation only. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2375 | Do you want your test results here or should they be announced from the palace balcony? | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2376 | I'm afraid Targaryen isn't an actual blood type. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2377 | It's the ermine, I'm afraid. You're allergic. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2378 | I'm afraid you're about to become the King of Spades. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2379 | Yes, you have to quit the pipe AND the bowl. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2380 | I'm sorry but we can not accept your government funded health insurance plan. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2381 | Yes, in common parlance, it is called the Midas Touch. | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2382 | It says here you were once a merry old soul. | 1.3051 | 0.04740 | 118 | 85 | 30 | 3 |
2383 | Royal pain in the ass again, eh? | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2384 | Relax, sire. It's just a royal flush. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2385 | ...the good news is that I can cure you of this affluence. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2386 | Look's like we're good until 2020. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2387 | Uknighted Healthcare is your insurance, correct? | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2388 | Your results are back, your majesty. The doctors have taken note of your unusually blue blood... | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2389 | Here in the U.S interns don’t fix the crowns. I’ll get the dentist. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2390 | I hate to tell you this, but you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2391 | I'm afraid you're allergic to ermine... | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2392 | Lord Feather-Bottom, I assure you, your clothes are visible to everyone. I think it’s time to see a psychiatrist. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2393 | The lab tests confirmed my initial diagnosis: You're a merry old soul. | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2394 | I see your health care insurer does not include blood letting as a treatment option. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2395 | Last year's note says you were homeless but resourceful. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2396 | You have a case of “cervicalgia rex”—also known as a royal pain in the neck. | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2397 | Nothing here. You'll sleep much better if you take your crown off. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2398 | Sorry, we don't accept "A Lannister always pays his debts" as proof of insurance. | 1.3051 | 0.05582 | 118 | 91 | 18 | 9 |
2399 | I think you should fill in this part of the form that states your oldest child’s hat size....soon! | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2400 | Bad news: Your insurance doesn’t cover “verruca vulgaris” | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2401 | Could you disrobe? | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2402 | This isn't what I meant when I said, "Put on a robe." | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2403 | I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but you'll have to sign onto the portal like everyone else to see the test results. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2404 | I'm sorry -- we're out of network. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2405 | You need to stop eating like a King | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2406 | Bad news your Majesty, the Queen is pregnant. | 1.3051 | 0.05710 | 118 | 92 | 16 | 10 |
2407 | Yes, urology can be a Royal pain in the ass.....! | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2408 | Your chances of remaining a merry old soul would improve if you laid off the pipe and went easy on the bowl. | 1.3051 | 0.05582 | 118 | 91 | 18 | 9 |
2409 | Did You say Crohn's disease or Throne's Disease | 1.3051 | 0.04890 | 118 | 86 | 28 | 4 |
2410 | To sum it up, you are a royal mess. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2411 | No, Your Majesty, I won't be using an ermine glove today. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2412 | Persistent illusions of grandeur ... it’s a debilitating condition, I’m afraid. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2413 | The good news, President Trump, is that you only weigh 239 pounds. | 1.3051 | 0.05710 | 118 | 92 | 16 | 10 |
2414 | All of your horses and all of your men will never make you healthy again. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2415 | The Royal Jewels are fine. The issue with the sceptre can be addressed with a prescription and a little extra effort from the Queen. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2416 | It's bad, but I can say you are the most healthy king in history. | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2417 | Your results came back. The body natural is fine! The body politic...however... | 1.3051 | 0.05036 | 118 | 87 | 26 | 5 |
2418 | Medicare for all means all. | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2419 | I'll have to record your real weight, not 239 pounds. | 1.3051 | 0.05316 | 118 | 89 | 22 | 7 |
2420 | Your kingdom for a cure. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2421 | Sorry,you can't 'have it your way' with a pre-existing condition. | 1.3051 | 0.05451 | 118 | 90 | 20 | 8 |
2422 | And for your insurance provider you’ve just written ‘divine right to vitality’... | 1.3051 | 0.05178 | 118 | 88 | 24 | 6 |
2423 | Midas... you can't keep doing this every time you run out of Viagra. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2424 | Your robe is on backwards. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2425 | No, I will not be bowing down prostate before you. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2426 | Still bringing your own hospital gowns I see. | 1.3043 | 0.04811 | 115 | 83 | 29 | 3 |
2427 | Unfortunately, your horses and men are not in network. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2428 | Just repeating "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown" over and over again isn't really helping me with your symptoms. | 1.3043 | 0.04811 | 115 | 83 | 29 | 3 |
2429 | I'm sorry. We have no record of King Trump. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2430 | Now on, I'm afraid , you won't be giving the royal shaft to anyone. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2431 | Your jewels are in remarkable shape for a monarch of your age. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2432 | We ran out of the paper robes. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2433 | Sorry, Your Majesty, but there is no known cure for a royal pain in the butt. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2434 | Feeling low, your Highness? | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2435 | Don’t worry. A few beheadings, some leeches, and you’ll be back on the throne in no time. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2436 | Have you heard the saying "The king is dead, long live the king"? | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2437 | Again, your coat should be open on the back side. | 1.3043 | 0.04669 | 138 | 102 | 30 | 6 |
2438 | …and be sure to take the Hemlock with food. It should clear up in a fortnight. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2439 | I thought we agreed to lay off the burgers. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2440 | In light of your preference for saying 'Off with his head' your lab results show you're in the most perfect health of any king ever. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2441 | Let me put this plainly, King to OR 2. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2442 | It says here that if you have the Midas Touch, you have to be careful where you touch yourself ... | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2443 | It's an affliction common to people of your stature -- it's called kleptocracy. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2444 | You'll need new clothes. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2445 | It's an expensive treatment, but it's cheaper than your kingdom and more important than a horse. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2446 | It says here you're having frequent declarations. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2447 | The labs all look good, Mr. Decker. I am concerned, however, that you believe you're the President. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2448 | I'm sorry, but minimum co-pay is a king's ransom, no exceptions. | 1.3043 | 0.05816 | 115 | 90 | 15 | 10 |
2449 | The note from your previous doctor says you are a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3043 | 0.05816 | 115 | 90 | 15 | 10 |
2450 | Speaking as your proctologist, it sounds like a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2451 | How many Lords a Leaping was that? | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2452 | No; a royal decree does not overrule my orders for you to eat healthy and exercise more. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2453 | How would you describe this 'pain in the ass'? | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2454 | My bill for today's appointment is a king's ransom. | 1.3043 | 0.05816 | 115 | 90 | 15 | 10 |
2455 | So you say you’re Santa and the King of Antarctica? Hmmmm...clearest case of Bipolar Disorder I’ve seen. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2456 | I’d say, it’s time to call for your fiddlers three. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2457 | And lay off the hey-nonny-nonnying with your fiddlers three. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2458 | Fine about the fiddlers three, but you've got to quit calling for your pipe. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2459 | I am sorry to say ,President Trump, that there is no pill, the only cure is a very long stay at Lockhimup Camp. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2460 | I’m afraid a Royal Pardon for your bill is out of the question | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2461 | The jester is in-network, but I’m out of network. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2462 | I said prostate not prostrate. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2463 | Getting the coat on is a good first step. For the follow up let’s try underwear | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2464 | We” need to lose 30 pounds | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2465 | I was referring to your Crown Jewels. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2466 | You have a Royal pain in the ass. Very common. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2467 | It doesn't look like there's a physical explanation for your inflated ego...Have you tried meditation? | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2468 | We’ll call it a disease of kings! | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2469 | Yes, Humpty Dumpty was my patient, but your case is entirely different. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2470 | Can you clarify what you mean by "family jewels?" | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2471 | I'm glad you came in when you did. If you had waited another 600 years this could have been much more serious. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2472 | I'm afraid the dragon is not your son. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2473 | I DO know who you are. You're still going to have to reduce your salt intake. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2474 | It appears all your horses and all your men are busy working on someone else at the moment. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2475 | Well, by gosh, you're right! Royalty IS exempt from colonoscopies. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2476 | This is going to cost you a king's ransom. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2477 | I'm giving you a script for a pipe, a bowl and fiddlers three. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2478 | Billing said sovereign coverage is not on our list of approved insurers. Cash or crown? | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2479 | I recommend that you cut down on those four-and-twenty blackbird pies. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2480 | Your results are back. It's not clear why you're having these delusions of grandeur. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2481 | That was awkward, in a ‘reversal and recognition’ kind of way. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2482 | You may be the King of burgers, but you need a quadruple bypass. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2483 | Remember when you said that I was a royal pain in the ass? | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2484 | No more pipe and bowl, but you can maintain your current level of fiddlers three. | 1.3043 | 0.04967 | 115 | 84 | 27 | 4 |
2485 | I’m afraid your family history indicates you’re at an elevated risk of regicide. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2486 | Let’s talk about you having a coronary.. not a coronation. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2487 | I will try to put this delicately. There is a kink in your royal plumbing. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2488 | Let’s talk about family history. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2489 | The good news is your blood work looks good. The bad news is there’s a guy downstairs with a horse who says a deal’s a deal. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2490 | Your queen, my lord, has requested yet another enlargement of your royal prodigiousness.” | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2491 | In conclusion, you've been diagnosed with high maintenance disorder. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2492 | I doubt even you could afford this required procedure. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2493 | Well, we've found that patients are more relaxed during their prostate exams when they feel in control. | 1.3043 | 0.05548 | 115 | 88 | 19 | 8 |
2494 | Let me put it this way: winter is coming. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2495 | The royal treatment isn't covered under your plan. | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2496 | Well, it’s going to take most of your gold. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2497 | Sorry, your highness, the blood is still red, not blue. | 1.3043 | 0.05408 | 115 | 87 | 21 | 7 |
2498 | We have checked it twice - there is no Royal DNA in your blood. | 1.3043 | 0.05683 | 115 | 89 | 17 | 9 |
2499 | Do you use the throne regularly? | 1.3043 | 0.05119 | 115 | 85 | 25 | 5 |
2500 | You’re overweight for 50, but you’re fit for a king. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2501 | I’ll skip the cheap jokes about a royal pain this time, Your Highness. You’ve got gout. | 1.3043 | 0.05265 | 115 | 86 | 23 | 6 |
2502 | Did you say royal pain? | 1.3039 | 0.05358 | 102 | 75 | 23 | 4 |
2503 | I’m afraid we need to decapitate. | 1.3039 | 0.05709 | 102 | 77 | 19 | 6 |
2504 | In this case it's not "good to be the king." | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
2505 | No collusion, no coverup.... | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
2506 | Your legacy looks good but I think it might be time to check your ego. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2507 | You’ll need to consult an alchemist. | 1.3009 | 0.04850 | 113 | 82 | 28 | 3 |
2508 | Now I see what you mean by a 'royal pain in the ass.' | 1.3009 | 0.05745 | 113 | 88 | 16 | 9 |
2509 | Coverage has been denied for you and Humpty Dumpty. | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2510 | I believe that you are suffering from delusions of grandeur. | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
2511 | Be that as it may, you're going to have to cut back on the hamburgers. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2512 | Yes, well, sometimes it happens to royal scepters, too. | 1.3009 | 0.05010 | 113 | 83 | 26 | 4 |
2513 | For the exam, the robe opening must be in the back. | 1.3009 | 0.05010 | 113 | 83 | 26 | 4 |
2514 | I know the policy is you can bring your own robe but.... | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2515 | Sorry, your HMO only covers gowns, not robes. | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
2516 | Tell me again, how long did you stay on the throne ? | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2517 | The bad news: you have salmonella. The good news: Burger King would like you to represent them | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
2518 | And where do you feel these royal pains? | 1.3009 | 0.05010 | 113 | 83 | 26 | 4 |
2519 | It says here that you have an obsession about winning at chess. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2520 | Your crown jewels are enlarged. | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2521 | You're allergies include silk, ermine, fine wools and starchy cottons. Any thoughts on new clothes? | 1.3009 | 0.05606 | 113 | 87 | 18 | 8 |
2522 | If you weren't the king I'd ask for my thermometer back!" | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2523 | It's just an old cold, King | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2524 | I'm going to be Frank with you - it looks like a pretty bad case of Charle-mange. | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2525 | You said the tower got stuck where, now? | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2526 | It’s about time for your Old King Colonoscopy | 1.3009 | 0.05745 | 113 | 88 | 16 | 9 |
2527 | The tests show you’re in checkmate. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2528 | On a scale of one to ten, Mr. Cole, how merry an old soul are you feeling today? | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2529 | Hmmm, the Kingdom Health Fund will not cover your procedure. | 1.3009 | 0.05463 | 113 | 86 | 20 | 7 |
2530 | You think you’re in royal pain now - wait until you get the bill. | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2531 | You’ll need a dentist to replace that crown | 1.3009 | 0.05606 | 113 | 87 | 18 | 8 |
2532 | I'm afraid you may be suffering from delusions of grandeur. | 1.3009 | 0.05316 | 113 | 85 | 22 | 6 |
2533 | You are doing well today, Edward, but there is that upcoming torture to think about. | 1.3009 | 0.05010 | 113 | 83 | 26 | 4 |
2534 | It appears it was the four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie that caused the problem. | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2535 | Unexpected heir growth is actually quite common in your line of work | 1.3009 | 0.05166 | 113 | 84 | 24 | 5 |
2536 | So, you're having problems sitting on the throne? | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2537 | I'm covering for Merlin today, Your Majesty... | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2538 | I recommend cutting back on the Whoppers. | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2539 | Technically, its hemorrhoids, but I suppose you're right; "Royal Pain in the Ass" would also be accurate. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2540 | I think you need to ease up on the burgers Mr. King. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2541 | My guess is you just ate a bad burger, king. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2542 | It says here that you've been spending too much time on the throne lately. | 1.3000 | 0.04926 | 110 | 80 | 27 | 3 |
2543 | Just as I feared, your highness. You have contracted republicanism...and it’s terminal. | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2544 | I understand your family history is rather complicated. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2545 | It's the crown jewels, I'm afraid, not the jeweled crown. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2546 | Please tell the Queen that "a royal pain in the ass" is not a real medical condition | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2547 | I'm sorry your highness. I can't write you a note to get you out of having your head chopped off by 'the dirty peasants. | 1.3000 | 0.04926 | 110 | 80 | 27 | 3 |
2548 | Your diagnosis is you'll only be reigning for 6 more months. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2549 | It's a rare form of "Trumpism." | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2550 | Yes, Your Majesty, but other than the Queen? | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2551 | Your Royal pain will require a colonoscopy, Your Highness. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2552 | I’m afraid your blue blood level is quite low, your Majesty. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2553 | I'm sorry, Brad, the delusion is not responding to penicillin. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2554 | I’m afraid the only treatment for your constipation would be a royal flush. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2555 | So Your Majesty, you think this gold thing is a problem? | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2556 | Well, your majesty, We need to lose weight, take Our blood pressure medicine and make sure We get plenty of rest. Do We understand? | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2557 | Tentatively we're just calling it a royal flush. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2558 | I'm afraid you may not be amenable to the necessary procedure to cure your "coronary problem." | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2559 | Your cholesterol is down but your delusions of grandeur have escalated. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2560 | As usual, you are in perfect health with the physique and virility of a man 20 years your junior. | 1.3000 | 0.05104 | 120 | 90 | 24 | 6 |
2561 | I'm sorry but your test results indicate that you're no longer "a merry old soul." | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2562 | How long since your last royal flush? | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2563 | You know your blood IS in fact red just like everyone else’s, and your have syphilis. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2564 | So can you perhaps explain this? - it says here, "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown".. ? | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2565 | Well, Your Majesty, it looks like it's going to be "your kingdom for your life". | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2566 | Respectfully, pleaae remove your crown and robe so I can examine Your Royal Hiney. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2567 | It looks like you’re worrying about spending a lot of time on the other throne. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2568 | The literature on “Royal Pain in the Ass” is unfortunately sparse. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2569 | I see you gave my receptionist a royal decree forbidding all colonoscopies... | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2570 | How much time did you say that you sit on the throne each day? | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2571 | Now,you understand family jewels is just an expression? | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2572 | You’re going to have to consider becoming the Salad King. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2573 | Yes, you will have to do what we like to call the "Royal Flush" prior to your colonoscopy. | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2574 | Lay off the pipe and bowl, and I'll let you keep one fiddler. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2575 | The bloodwork has come back. You have acute osteophyterediosis, commonly referred to as a Royal Pain." | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2576 | Believe me, you’re not the first Burger King to grapple with high cholesterol. | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2577 | Before I describe your test results Your Grace, please seal this short release allowing me to keep my head. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2578 | If you want to stay a merry old soul, stop calling for your pipe and calling for your bowl. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2579 | Which Henry did you say you were? | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2580 | I'm sorry sire, we don't recognize the sword of Damocles as an actual medical condition. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2581 | ...but the good news is you can't be impeached. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2582 | No, it says right here, this procedure isn't covered because I'm out of network. | 1.3000 | 0.05855 | 110 | 86 | 15 | 9 |
2583 | Remember, the greatest kings on earth still sit on where your problem is. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2584 | The tests came back. You do have a royal pain in the ass. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2585 | I’m afraid you have a king-size tumor. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2586 | The numbers look good...they're redacted but they look good. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2587 | I don't know where I would even find any leeches. | 1.3000 | 0.05239 | 120 | 91 | 22 | 7 |
2588 | Unfortunately, it's checkmate. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2589 | The better your insurance, the better your hospital gown. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2590 | Your HMO denied the pre-authorization for three fiddlers. | 1.3000 | 0.05563 | 110 | 84 | 19 | 7 |
2591 | Sorry to tell you this sir, but you’re royally f***ed | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2592 | We call it Game of Thrones Syndrome. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2593 | I've never seen anything like it. Your gold levels are through the roof... | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2594 | Would it be a ‘royal pain in the ass’ or a ‘’pain in the royal ass’? | 1.3000 | 0.05711 | 110 | 85 | 17 | 8 |
2595 | For a 70 year old stripper, you're in great shape Mr. Lear. | 1.3000 | 0.04926 | 110 | 80 | 27 | 3 |
2596 | I think you need to lay off the Imperial Margarine”. | 1.3000 | 0.05093 | 110 | 81 | 25 | 4 |
2597 | It is a royal pain, indeed | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2598 | I'd suggest laying off the Whoppers. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2599 | You might want to get your crowns in order. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2600 | As far as I can tell you're fit for a king. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
2601 | The good news is you'll be up and about just in time for the Game of Thrones finale. | 1.3000 | 0.05411 | 110 | 83 | 21 | 6 |
2602 | From these results, I'd say horse disagrees with you. | 1.2990 | 0.05892 | 97 | 74 | 17 | 6 |
2603 | Your Highness - I will now take a peek at that royal pain | 1.2982 | 0.05700 | 114 | 89 | 16 | 9 |
2604 | You know, I really do insist that my patients wear the gown. Oh, and bad news, you're dying. | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
2605 | It's just as we suspected. You do, indeed, have a merry, old soul. | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
2606 | Have you started thinking of an heir? | 1.2973 | 0.05214 | 111 | 83 | 23 | 5 |
2607 | At least you should have no trouble covering hospital fees. | 1.2973 | 0.04889 | 111 | 81 | 27 | 3 |
2608 | I’m afraid we have discovered that your blood is, in fact, red. | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
2609 | Gold, you say. | 1.2973 | 0.05665 | 111 | 86 | 17 | 8 |
2610 | Well, Your Highness, there are pains, and then there are royal pains... | 1.2973 | 0.05519 | 111 | 85 | 19 | 7 |
2611 | well, your souls merry but your liver is in bad shape. | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2612 | Looks like the pot is the reason for Your Highness | 1.2973 | 0.05665 | 111 | 86 | 17 | 8 |
2613 | It says here that your last doctor diagnosed you as overly groveling to your enemies. To me, it appears to be a bad case of gout in both knees. | 1.2973 | 0.05214 | 111 | 83 | 23 | 5 |
2614 | I'm referring you to a dentist--I don't remove old crowns. | 1.2973 | 0.05214 | 111 | 83 | 23 | 5 |
2615 | That chart is wrong. I'm not overweight. I am too short I can't change that. | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
2616 | Yes, it is a "royal" illness, but not in a good way. | 1.2973 | 0.05665 | 111 | 86 | 17 | 8 |
2617 | Just a little blue pill, taken as needed, and you'll have an heir to the throne in no time. | 1.2973 | 0.04719 | 111 | 80 | 29 | 2 |
2618 | After extensive testing and of the tag kingsoutfitters.com,we are quite sure you actually wearing new clothes. | 1.2973 | 0.05808 | 111 | 87 | 15 | 9 |
2619 | Your rectal exam was normal, Your Majesty, but we should repeat it next year, even if it is a pain in the royal ass. | 1.2973 | 0.05519 | 111 | 85 | 19 | 7 |
2620 | You seem to be missing a heart, Mr. Trump | 1.2973 | 0.05368 | 111 | 84 | 21 | 6 |
2621 | Actually, Gout is more common than many think. | 1.2973 | 0.05214 | 111 | 83 | 23 | 5 |
2622 | It burns when we pee. | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2623 | So, Mr. Cole, it says here that you are no longer a merry old soul. What seems to be the problem? | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2624 | Sir, we've talked about this before. You are not the fittest king of all time, and I refuse to say that you are. | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2625 | Er, no, I haven't heard of the Royal Treatment, but I'm guessing that you'd have to be a royal pain to get it. | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2626 | I thought we agreed to let THEM eat cake | 1.2973 | 0.05054 | 111 | 82 | 25 | 4 |
2627 | Well, the bowl and fiddlers three aren't a problem. | 1.2963 | 0.04968 | 108 | 79 | 26 | 3 |
2628 | You'll be needing an heir..... | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2629 | I'm afraid you have the liver of a commoner. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2630 | You need to cut back on the mead. | 1.2963 | 0.04968 | 108 | 79 | 26 | 3 |
2631 | OK, Your Majesty, Up with the robe and bend over. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2632 | It looks like somebody's been a merry old soul! | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2633 | I recommend less Blue Cross, more Blue Shield. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2634 | Have you given any thought to a rightful heir? | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2635 | According to the Special Counsel's report, you should really be on life support right now. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2636 | I'm sorry to tell you that it’s not so good to be the king. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2637 | If I tell you this is really, really serious, will you sign for the 25th Amendment? | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2638 | There must be some mistake here. It says "The king is dead" | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2639 | I'm sorry to say you're blood is normal. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2640 | Take two viagra and call me in the morning. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2641 | True, the people shout, “ long live the King” but that alone won’t lower your cholesterol. | 1.2963 | 0.04790 | 108 | 78 | 28 | 2 |
2642 | You’re going to have to stop eating meals fit for a king. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2643 | Maybe you should see a psychologist instead | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2644 | Well, it appears the knees aren't the first thing to go. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2645 | Well, you have a royal pain. Just kidding, it's cancer. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2646 | Sorry you Majesty but from now it's ixnay on the pipe, plus a lot less bowl. | 1.2963 | 0.04968 | 108 | 79 | 26 | 3 |
2647 | Cut back on the Whoppers. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2648 | You have a sore throat and delusions of modesty | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2649 | Yes - you were king for the day, but that day was last week. | 1.2963 | 0.05773 | 108 | 84 | 16 | 8 |
2650 | Sorry Emperor, wearing your "new clothes" all winter has led to a case of pneumonia. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2651 | Physically, you're fine. Mentally...well...... | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2652 | It's a royal pain in the ass, your Highness. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2653 | I"m thinking nobody has mentioned this to you , Your Majesty--you have bad breath." | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2654 | I'm sorry sire, but we don't accept your current HMO. | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2655 | Yes, I suppose going to battle counts as a form of regular exercise. | 1.2963 | 0.04968 | 108 | 79 | 26 | 3 |
2656 | So, you're experiencing a royal pain in the ass?" | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2657 | It’s just a commoner cold. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2658 | Diagnosis: "You have a merry old soul". | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2659 | Mr. King, all your troubles are behind you now, so please have your robe open from the back. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2660 | Looks like your reign is bout over. | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2661 | I'm sorry, but you are full of BS, and we need to do a Royal Flush. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2662 | It says in you chart that the queen has complained that you are no longer king sized" | 1.2963 | 0.05773 | 108 | 84 | 16 | 8 |
2663 | ...so you've tried leeching. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
2664 | Royal pain in the neck, you say? | 1.2963 | 0.05465 | 108 | 82 | 20 | 6 |
2665 | It's all those cheeseburgers . . . . | 1.2963 | 0.05622 | 108 | 83 | 18 | 7 |
2666 | For the last time, I'm not your Subject. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 |