Contest #658 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	2019-04-14T23:56:00.000Z
Voting started	-
Voting ended	2019-04-28T23:57:00.000Z
Finalists announced	2019-04-22T23:56:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	April 29, 2019
Number of captions	5683
Number of responses	993479
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	Do you want to go for L-U-N-C-H and maybe a W-A-L-K?	1.8166	0.06261	169	74	52	43
1	They're quiet now, but wait until the mail is delivered.	1.8156	0.06109	179	79	54	46
2	I got a "You're a good girl. Yes you are" on my performance review.	1.7975	0.06405	163	74	48	41
3	All I did was pat him on the head and now he's reporting me to HR.	1.7944	0.06337	180	87	43	50
4	Once you tell them to sit and stay, they actually get a lot of work done.	1.7809	0.05974	178	80	57	41
5	I've only worked here one year, but it feels like seven.	1.7634	0.06089	186	91	48	47
6	Well I think I know why all the office plants are dying.	1.7616	0.05981	172	78	57	37
7	Stan was fired...he attacked the FedEx guy again.	1.7538	0.05636	195	90	63	42
8	All my evaluation said was "Good girl."	1.7485	0.06356	163	79	46	38
9	Don't say anything but I'm going for a w-a-l-k at lunchtime.	1.7399	0.05949	173	81	56	36
10	If you think it noisy now now, wait until the mailman comes by.	1.7381	0.06275	168	83	46	39
11	You should have been here last week when someone rang the doorbell!	1.7345	0.06271	177	91	42	44
12	Do you want to go for a W-A-L-K?	1.7278	0.06210	169	84	47	38
13	Well I’m leaving at five, even if the boss says, "Stay.	1.7263	0.05757	179	84	60	35
14	Want to go for a W-A-L-K?	1.7213	0.05972	183	92	50	41
15	It's 2019 Jim, you can't just rub your coworker's belly and not expect an email from HR.	1.7200	0.05824	175	83	58	34
16	I need to get out of the office for a bit. Wanna go for a W-A-L-K with me?	1.7151	0.06046	179	91	48	40
17	The glass ceiling was bad enough but having to deal with invisible fencing is outrageous.	1.7128	0.06092	188	100	42	46
18	Fine. You’re a good boy too.	1.7127	0.05839	181	89	55	37
19	It's like...whose butt do I have to sniff to get a promotion around here?	1.7120	0.05920	191	99	48	44
20	Okay, you open the window and I'll throw the ball.	1.7107	0.06331	159	80	45	34
21	Wanna go for a w-a-l-k?	1.7086	0.05904	175	86	54	35
22	I need some fresh air. Do you want to take a W-A-L-K?	1.7041	0.06087	169	85	49	35
23	All I’m saying is that if they can operate a computer they should be able to pick up their own damn poop.	1.7026	0.05788	195	101	51	43
24	You want to yell “Squirrel,” or can I?	1.6978	0.05841	182	92	53	37
25	Want to go for a 'W-A-L-K' at lunch?	1.6964	0.05896	168	82	55	31
26	I've seen his browsing history. He's not such a good boy.	1.6959	0.06267	171	91	41	39
27	They're extremely smart, but watch where you step.	1.6946	0.05928	167	82	54	31
28	Got a "good girl" on my review, so yeah I'm happy.	1.6912	0.05236	204	98	71	35
29	Yes, you're a good boy, too.	1.6875	0.05971	176	91	49	36
30	Every year here feels like seven.	1.6848	0.05811	184	95	52	37
31	I can not believe he asked me to walk him home	1.6825	0.05369	211	108	62	41
32	Management wants me to roll over, and I just won't do it.	1.6821	0.05732	195	103	51	41
33	OK, fine, yes, you're a "good boy" too. Don't be so fragile.	1.6818	0.06142	176	95	42	39
34	You wanna get out of here? Maybe take a w-a-l-k?	1.6776	0.06150	183	102	38	43
35	I could use a break. Do you wanna go for a W-A-L-K?	1.6774	0.05772	186	97	52	37
36	Down the hall, second hydrant on your left.	1.6769	0.05259	195	94	70	31
37	Yeah, for now. Watch what happens when the UPS guy shows up.	1.6731	0.06112	156	79	49	28
38	I don't think you have a clue what it's like for me, being the only woman in this office.	1.6703	0.05940	182	98	46	38
39	Whose belly do I have to rub to get the password?	1.6687	0.06244	166	90	41	35
40	It's nice and quiet until the UPS truck pulls up.	1.6686	0.06209	169	92	41	36
41	No Jack, I don't think yelling "squirrel" will be funny.	1.6647	0.05871	173	90	51	32
42	I’d work hard too if I could retire at age 10.	1.6630	0.05875	181	97	48	36
43	I don’t know. Why don’t you ask that bitch sitting next to you?	1.6629	0.06009	178	97	44	37
44	The boss rewards loyalty.	1.6628	0.05785	172	88	54	30
45	Be nice to Gary, he just got neutered yesterday.	1.6552	0.05744	174	90	54	30
46	I can get used to everything but the drinking out of the toilet.	1.6545	0.05935	165	86	50	29
47	They only have one year of experience. Well,technically seven.	1.6545	0.06058	165	88	46	31
48	I said, do you want to go for a W-A-L-K with me at lunch.	1.6536	0.05995	179	99	43	37
49	Our technical support guy went out on break, got distracted by a squirrel, and never came back.	1.6503	0.05524	183	94	59	30
50	Every minute seems like seven here.	1.6491	0.05834	171	90	51	30
51	How am I the office bitch?	1.6477	0.06088	176	99	40	37
52	Whatever you do, DO NOT use the squirrel emoji.	1.6464	0.05741	181	97	51	33
53	Whose butt do you have to sniff to get a set of headphones around here?	1.6456	0.06290	158	87	40	31
54	What are the policies regarding petting?	1.6450	0.05775	169	88	53	28
55	Fine, I was wrong. Maybe they can be taught some new things.	1.6443	0.05382	194	101	61	32
56	Every year I work here feels like seven!	1.6429	0.06362	154	85	39	30
57	I'm going for a W.A.L.K. on break.	1.6420	0.05934	176	97	45	34
58	Come ON, Brian. The log-in is 'who's a good boy?' Just write it DOWN!	1.6395	0.06614	147	83	34	30
59	Whose butt do we have to sniff to get ahead in this company?	1.6389	0.05723	180	97	51	32
60	Somehow I'm still the lowest paid person here.	1.6384	0.05911	177	98	45	34
61	No—it’s YOUR turn to walk the new guy.	1.6383	0.05527	188	100	56	32
62	I miss the days when they just played poker.	1.6348	0.05725	178	96	51	31
63	I refuse to roll over to get a promotion.	1.6328	0.05754	177	96	50	31
64	They might leave if you hit the pound key.	1.6322	0.05777	174	94	50	30
65	It's not so much their work ethic, but their constant need to be praised.	1.6307	0.05783	176	96	49	31
66	Am I the only one who can never hear the lunch whistle?	1.6273	0.06524	161	96	29	36
67	And we keep getting hacked because everyone’s password is “squirrel”.	1.6272	0.06211	169	98	36	35
68	Should I report the inappropriate sniffing to HR?	1.6264	0.05954	174	98	43	33
69	'Don't let them know we're going for a w-a-l-k later.'	1.6250	0.05561	176	93	56	27
70	They’re loyal, they’re obedient, they work for scraps... who wouldn’t be worried about job security?	1.6242	0.05725	165	87	53	25
71	Would it kill them to hire one cat?	1.6225	0.05382	204	113	55	36
72	They're computer Labs.	1.6213	0.05868	169	93	47	29
73	I legally changed my name to Fluffy. How did YOU get hired?	1.6209	0.05792	153	79	53	21
74	I’m putting in for a transfer. Every time his girlfriend calls his tail starts hitting me.	1.6209	0.05801	182	103	45	34
75	I told Rex to fetch me a spoon, and now I have to meet with HR.	1.6205	0.05536	195	109	51	35
76	You can use the one downstairs, but the hydrant is just for executives.	1.6201	0.05880	179	102	43	34
77	How did you answer the question "Who's a good boy?"	1.6193	0.05797	176	98	47	31
78	He may be a good boy, but he’s a bad boss.	1.6158	0.05662	177	97	51	29
79	I still only make 79 cents on the dollar, but if I say anything then I’M the bitch…	1.6158	0.05508	190	105	53	32
80	I don't care if it is part of the company culture. The next time I get rubbed behind the ears, I'm walking.	1.6158	0.05455	203	115	51	37
81	Yes, of course you're a good boy too.	1.6131	0.05596	168	89	55	24
82	Don’t ask me. They all have top secret clearances from the White House.	1.6114	0.05999	175	102	39	34
83	You wanna go for a W-A-L-K?	1.6114	0.05243	193	103	62	28
84	Just be glad its not hump day!	1.6101	0.06304	159	93	35	31
85	If I get sniffed one more time.....	1.6098	0.06147	164	95	38	31
86	We must be the diversity hires.	1.6098	0.05899	164	91	46	27
87	Who's leg do you have to hump to get ahead in this place?	1.6096	0.05322	187	100	60	27
88	They're not that smart. Yesterday, I asked one to fetch me a latte and he brought back a grande mocha.	1.6090	0.05864	156	84	49	23
89	And just who am I going complain to David? Human Resources?	1.6066	0.05525	183	101	53	29
90	Once the butt sniffing is over, they're actually pretty productive.	1.6062	0.05499	193	109	51	33
91	We don’t call it Hump Day here.	1.6047	0.06202	172	104	32	36
92	They just keep accepting cookies.	1.6036	0.05948	169	97	42	30
93	The glass ceiling is gone. Now if they'd only do something about the invisible fence.	1.6012	0.05919	168	96	43	29
94	I don't care what you think. When they hump my leg it is workplace harassment.	1.6012	0.05484	173	93	56	24
95	I say "butt sniffer" one time, and now they are making me do sensitivity training.	1.6011	0.05638	183	104	48	31
96	They sent Lady home because she went into heat. That’s just not right.	1.6000	0.06057	150	83	44	23
97	We thought, instead of a service dog, why not a customer service dog?	1.6000	0.05538	185	104	51	30
98	Why can't they just use their name to mark their stuff?	1.5989	0.05492	187	105	52	30
99	At least they sent us some young dogs. Teaching the old ones computer programming was impossible.	1.5988	0.05811	172	98	45	29
100	How does someone like me succeed here? This place is run by men. And now they only hire their best friends!	1.5979	0.05387	194	109	54	31
101	I've only been working here for a year, but it feels like seven.	1.5978	0.05670	184	106	46	32
102	I’m a good girl too. Where’s my treat?	1.5977	0.05463	174	94	56	24
103	Let's go for a w-a-l-k.	1.5967	0.05692	181	104	46	31
104	I've only worked here a month now, but it feels like seven	1.5963	0.06065	161	93	40	28
105	Bosses hire their best friends,Gil,that's just how this company works.	1.5963	0.05803	161	89	48	24
106	He licked me. Can I call HR?	1.5936	0.05703	187	110	43	34
107	And I still on get 82 cents for every dollar THEY make	1.5934	0.05723	182	106	44	32
108	How is sniffing my crotch not harassment?	1.5924	0.06059	157	90	41	26
109	Nothing seems to matter to this company except loyalty.	1.5922	0.05235	206	117	56	33
110	Now every staff meeting is "good boy this," and "good boy that."	1.5918	0.05398	196	112	52	32
111	On the upside, I have the bathroom all to myself."	1.5909	0.05422	176	96	56	24
112	I never hear the whistle when it’s time to go home.	1.5906	0.05904	171	100	41	30
113	It’s weird everyone acts like my best friend around here.	1.5906	0.05904	171	100	41	30
114	My last name is Pomeranian. How did you get the job?	1.5906	0.06246	149	86	38	25
115	Don’t worry. On the Internet, no one knows you’re a person.	1.5904	0.05608	166	91	52	23
116	Ok. I get called out for the length of my skirt, but Mark doesn’t have to wear pants?	1.5899	0.05493	178	99	53	26
117	It’s not so bad. We all get to go outside for our breaks now.	1.5893	0.05870	168	97	43	28
118	Why do we have to work seven hours for every hour they work?	1.5889	0.05724	180	105	44	31
119	I'm tired of sitting, can we go o-u-t-s-i-d-e ?	1.5885	0.05389	192	109	53	30
120	They love overtime. You just have to ask them to stay.	1.5882	0.05343	187	104	56	27
121	I had to literally beg to get this job.	1.5876	0.05090	194	105	64	25
122	Do they even vet these new employees anymore?	1.5875	0.06039	160	93	40	27
123	Goodboy...the password is Goodboy	1.5871	0.05987	155	88	43	24
124	I’m talking to HR about the crotch sniffing.	1.5871	0.05846	155	86	47	22
125	If the manager humps my leg one more time I'm filing a sexual harassment claim.	1.5868	0.05900	167	97	42	28
126	They're taking over the place, I tell you. I hear there's a fire hydrant in the men's room.	1.5866	0.05642	179	103	47	29
127	They were much more fun when they just played poker	1.5864	0.05916	162	93	43	26
128	I'm not crazy about the cats over in accounting either, but at least they use a box.	1.5858	0.05965	169	100	39	30
129	They'll reach their full retirement age in six or seven years. We've still got 42 to go!	1.5852	0.05367	176	96	57	23
130	The next time I hear ' Who's a good girl! There's a good girl!" I'm going to clobber somebody....	1.5850	0.05223	200	113	57	30
131	Do you have any idea what pronouns we’re supposed to use here?	1.5848	0.05672	171	97	48	26
132	You scratch one good boy's belly and suddenly you're in all day harassment training."	1.5843	0.05555	178	101	50	27
133	I find it really hard to believe that no cats applied.	1.5833	0.05451	180	101	53	26
134	Check your texts! I can’t just say, ‘Do you wanna go for a walk?’ out loud or they’ll all come!	1.5833	0.05814	168	97	44	27
135	Just when I mastered Pekingese, I get a caller who speaks Pomeranian.	1.5823	0.05971	158	91	42	25
136	Can you believe they're putting in a gender neutral fire hydrant?	1.5820	0.05563	189	111	46	32
137	I still don't think you should have called her a bitch.	1.5819	0.06024	177	109	33	35
138	The guy next to me asked for a belly rub,is that appropriate?	1.5819	0.05582	177	101	49	27
139	“Where will it all end? Today, it’s no-leash Friday. Next thing you know, they’ll replace the drinking fountain with a toilet bowl	1.5817	0.05159	208	119	57	32
140	It’s worse in Accounting. They’re cats.	1.5814	0.05827	172	101	42	29
141	It's sunny, how about a w..a..l...k at lunch?	1.5810	0.05702	179	105	44	30
142	I can't get paid as much as a man and now I have to compete with his best friend too?!?	1.5810	0.05534	179	102	50	27
143	How do they know JavaScript, but I have to spell w-a-l-k to avoid a rush for the door?	1.5808	0.05905	167	98	41	28
144	How do I tell him he’s such a good boy without being condescending?	1.5801	0.05258	181	99	59	23
145	Should we break it to them that they don't really get cookies when they press "accept"?	1.5798	0.05589	188	111	45	32
146	Not only are they loyal, obedient, and trustworthy, they work for belly-rubs. How do we compete with that?	1.5792	0.05386	183	103	54	26
147	Asking me to scratch him behind his ears is no way for a supervisor to act.	1.5783	0.05684	166	94	48	24
148	I keep getting emails that just say, "who's a good boy?"	1.5779	0.06369	154	94	31	29
149	I’m sick of the boss giving jobs to his best friends.	1.5778	0.05569	180	104	48	28
150	I don't care if he's your best friend. You have to tell him about his breath!	1.5771	0.05274	175	95	59	21
151	We've both been here for a year and he acts like he's got 7 times as much experience as me.	1.5767	0.05414	189	109	51	29
152	I got the raise, but I had to roll over and beg for it.	1.5745	0.05332	188	107	54	27
153	Eric, the dress code requires a shirt with a collar or a collar.	1.5739	0.05784	176	105	41	30
154	I have a cat on the line, what do I say?	1.5739	0.05613	176	102	47	27
155	But she IS a bitch.	1.5738	0.05714	183	110	41	32
156	No, Dave, it doesn't mean you can say "bitch" in the office now.	1.5732	0.05543	164	91	52	21
157	Don’t let them order lunch again.	1.5707	0.05176	198	113	57	28
158	Everyone is getting dewormed at lunch. You in?	1.5707	0.05369	184	105	53	26
159	Code faster or we'll have to wear the cones again.	1.5706	0.05533	177	102	49	26
160	All I'm saying is that we should get walk breaks, too.	1.5698	0.05486	179	103	50	26
161	They get to work naked AND eat at their stations? How is that fair?	1.5697	0.05845	165	97	42	26
162	Does the men’s room also have a tree in it?	1.5697	0.05652	165	94	48	23
163	This is not what I thought they meant by 'white-collar workers'.	1.5680	0.05978	169	103	36	30
164	They call it telebarketing.	1.5673	0.05805	171	102	41	28
165	I think these are the computer labs.	1.5667	0.05863	150	85	45	20
166	Do you think we are next? HR was interviewing a pair of golden retrievers this morning.	1.5658	0.05805	152	86	46	20
167	We can't compete. They work for treats.	1.5652	0.05897	161	95	41	25
168	We're invited for drinks after work, but the place is a toilet	1.5650	0.05764	177	107	40	30
169	No, you get the ball!	1.5645	0.05219	186	105	57	24
170	But it's easier for you. You're their best friend.	1.5641	0.05907	156	91	42	23
171	Every time I throw Frank a new lead, he just brings it right back to me.	1.5635	0.05386	181	104	52	25
172	Frank didn't make his numbers last month so they had to put him down.	1.5629	0.05669	167	97	46	24
173	How do you get a raise or promotion around here when your coworkers settle for a pat on the head?	1.5628	0.05397	183	106	51	26
174	They won the company in a poker game!	1.5625	0.05847	176	108	37	31
175	I don't care if he went to Bard, if he licks my face again I'm going to HR.	1.5621	0.05491	169	96	51	22
176	I can't work in this environment! I'm going for a w-a-l-k.	1.5611	0.05353	180	103	53	24
177	It’s mostly just Google searches for “Who’s a good boy?”	1.5604	0.05800	182	113	36	33
178	Yeah on the job application I lied too. Said I was a Rottweiler.	1.5600	0.05705	175	105	42	28
179	Why are we whispering? They don’t speak English.	1.5595	0.05452	168	95	52	21
180	When they advertised a 'living wag' I thought it was a typo.	1.5595	0.05708	168	99	44	25
181	C'mon, just yell "Squirrel!"	1.5595	0.05708	168	99	44	25
182	We all started on the same day. It’s my first anniversary but their seventh? Not very fair.	1.5593	0.05540	177	104	47	26
183	Dogs will do jobs that millennials won’t do.	1.5591	0.05387	186	109	50	27
184	When did Rex start wearing glasses?	1.5590	0.05768	161	94	44	23
185	All they do is cruise the web and mark their territory.	1.5579	0.05404	190	113	48	29
186	Their 4 years of experience is like 28 of ours.	1.5579	0.05352	190	112	50	28
187	I know, they sniffed mine too!	1.5578	0.05451	199	122	43	34
188	...and when you make a mistake they rub your nose in it.	1.5576	0.06161	165	104	30	31
189	Except for when they're taking a drink, I never have to wait for a stall anymore.	1.5576	0.06220	165	105	28	32
190	I think they're all computer labs.	1.5574	0.05672	183	112	40	31
191	Maybe we'd get promoted if we pretended to be everyone's best friend, too.	1.5574	0.05288	183	105	54	24
192	If he licks me again I'm reporting him to Inhuman Resources.	1.5571	0.05137	210	125	53	32
193	I think he has a leg up on you.	1.5562	0.05460	178	104	49	25
194	I found out who’s NOT a good boy.	1.5562	0.05343	178	102	53	23
195	Them? They're computer labs.	1.5556	0.05988	171	107	33	31
196	Now we know who's posting all the cat videos.	1.5556	0.05427	189	113	47	29
197	There's only a fire hydrant in the ladies room!	1.5549	0.05536	182	109	45	28
198	I think it’s time to mark OUR territory.	1.5545	0.04894	211	121	63	27
199	I typed in WOW and Spellcheck changed it to BOW-WOW.	1.5537	0.05826	177	110	36	31
200	The pay is fine, I just hate going potty outside.	1.5529	0.05721	170	102	42	26
201	He flat out asked me for a tummy rub and HR just laughed .	1.5525	0.05449	181	107	48	26
202	I thought the new hires were for emotional support, not tech support...	1.5525	0.05449	181	107	48	26
203	Seriously, he just asked me if I needed to go for a walk!	1.5523	0.05788	172	105	39	28
204	It’s just that every time I make a little mistake they really rub my nose in it	1.5521	0.04940	192	107	64	21
205	I’m just saying, wouldn’t it be nice to get the occasional ‘Who’s a good boy?’ like the other interns?	1.5515	0.05729	165	98	43	24
206	Remember when we worried that immigrants would take our jobs.	1.5510	0.05178	196	115	54	27
207	I think we were the diversity hires.	1.5505	0.05237	198	118	51	29
208	Seriously, this place hires them right out of obedience school.	1.5500	0.05664	160	93	46	21
209	A caller just has to say "Good boy" and they get a complete refund.	1.5500	0.05664	160	93	46	21
210	Diversity?! It's three more white males.	1.5497	0.05537	191	118	41	32
211	The worst part is that there's only one restroom and it's outdoors!	1.5497	0.05335	191	114	49	28
212	No, I don’t want to go on a W-A-L-K, John.	1.5497	0.05574	171	101	46	24
213	At least we don't have to work with that bitch in accounting!	1.5495	0.05372	182	107	50	25
214	The new guy just licked my shoe. I'm reporting him.	1.5495	0.05428	182	108	48	26
215	I'm willing to sit up, but I'm not begging.	1.5492	0.05084	193	111	58	24
216	They're just playing poker.	1.5491	0.05525	173	102	47	24
217	They've spent all morning trying to figure out who's a good boy.	1.5486	0.05417	175	102	50	23
218	All he does is watch cat videos all day. How did he get a Good Boy on his performance evaluation?	1.5482	0.05831	166	101	39	26
219	I sweated through Harvard to get an MBA. Whose face did they lick to get in here?	1.5478	0.05887	157	94	40	23
220	It's just such a good boys' club.	1.5476	0.05327	168	95	54	19
221	When did this job go from being white-collar to just collar?	1.5476	0.04821	210	120	65	25
222	Our new health plan only covers veterinarians!	1.5471	0.05724	170	103	41	26
223	Do I have to give him a treat every time he makes a sale?"	1.5466	0.05428	161	91	52	18
224	Just because they're service animals, it doesn't make them customer service animals.	1.5466	0.05707	161	95	44	22
225	He just kept asking, "Who's a good girl?" I told him he's barking up the wrong tree.	1.5449	0.05229	178	102	55	21
226	And thanks to that whole 'dog years' thing they're making seven times as much!	1.5444	0.05304	180	105	52	23
227	I got a “good boy” for my performance review.	1.5440	0.05084	182	103	59	20
228	I am sick and tired of our CEO's pet projects!	1.5440	0.05541	182	111	43	28
229	I heard they also get paid seven times what we make.	1.5439	0.05452	171	100	49	22
230	Should I report him if he tries to hump my leg again?	1.5432	0.05545	162	94	48	20
231	If one more of them sniffs my butt, I'm leaving.	1.5427	0.05629	164	97	45	22
232	Do you believe I got barked at for being 5 minutes late!!	1.5427	0.05286	164	92	55	17
233	Which one is the computer lab?	1.5424	0.05831	177	112	34	31
234	All they do is watch people videos all day.	1.5422	0.05445	166	96	50	20
235	I can’t work with these bitches.	1.5404	0.06040	161	101	33	27
236	Licking yourself is fine for the interns but you try that again I'll file a complaint.	1.5404	0.05642	161	95	45	21
237	Honestly, he sniffs me less than the last IT guy.	1.5399	0.05382	163	93	52	18
238	This perv next to me says he wants a tummy rub.	1.5398	0.05397	176	104	49	23
239	I’m reporting him to HR. He totally sniffed my butt.	1.5398	0.05575	176	107	43	26
240	And get this, their benefit package includes belly rubs.	1.5398	0.05276	176	102	53	21
241	All I’m saying is they don’t have thumbs, so we have SOME job security.	1.5389	0.05142	193	114	54	25
242	I don’t care if it’s just dogs doing it. Porn is porn.	1.5385	0.05705	182	115	36	31
243	Care to join me for a w-a-l-k break?	1.5385	0.05780	156	93	42	21
244	If they ask me to fetch something one more time, I'm gonna to lose it.	1.5385	0.05567	169	101	45	23
245	I can't compete, Mark. They're working for scraps.	1.5376	0.05288	186	111	50	25
246	When corporate said they were bringing in the big dogs, I didn't think they meant literally.	1.5376	0.05218	173	99	55	19
247	Management loves them because they get so excited about greeting new customers.	1.5376	0.05591	173	105	43	25
248	Did you remember to w-a-l-k the CEO?	1.5373	0.05325	201	125	44	32
249	We shouldn't have eaten those weed cookies at lunch, Tim.	1.5371	0.05717	175	109	38	28
250	You're supposed to be their boss, John, not their best friend.	1.5369	0.05596	149	85	48	16
251	How will we ever get promoted if they keep hiring their best friends?	1.5368	0.04985	190	109	60	21
252	I thought it was strange, too, at first, but then I saw that they're just playing online poker.	1.5366	0.05243	205	127	46	32
253	And when did it become acceptable to openly sniff your coworkers?	1.5366	0.05632	164	98	44	22
254	Technically you’re right, but you still can’t call her THAT.	1.5365	0.05420	192	119	43	30
255	Since Trump's ban on immigration, we've had to take what we can get.	1.5363	0.05504	179	109	44	26
256	I don’t care! You still can’t call her a bitch!	1.5361	0.05898	166	104	35	27
257	... And then Tim in accounting had the nerve to try and sniff my butt!	1.5357	0.05530	168	100	46	22
258	You know, an occasional pat on the head would be nice.	1.5351	0.05085	185	107	57	21
259	All I said was 'doggone it' and they got all upset.	1.5350	0.05106	200	120	53	27
260	Did you hear that they start collecting their pensions after only eight years?	1.5349	0.05854	172	109	34	29
261	The small talk is brutal. He asked me if I've ever been wormed.	1.5347	0.05988	144	86	39	19
262	I'm about to W-A-L-K out of here.	1.5346	0.05698	159	95	43	21
263	It’s the ASPCA. What do I say?	1.5337	0.05586	178	110	41	27
264	Every email I get here literally says, "Who's a good boy?!	1.5337	0.05809	178	114	33	31
265	...so then Max says, I haven't had fleas since the 80s, and Duke just hauls off and bites him. Just stay away from Daisy! he says. And the whole time, Daisy just sits there wagging her tail.	1.5325	0.05756	169	105	38	26
266	...and he’s been sniffing my hair inappropriately.	1.5325	0.05244	169	97	54	18
267	We haven’t had a break in hours. You open the door and I’ll pretend to throw a ball down the hall.	1.5323	0.05235	186	111	51	24
268	He asked me if I would like to throw the ball after work, what exactly does that mean?	1.5318	0.05155	173	99	56	18
269	And I only make 77% of what a beagle does!	1.5316	0.05865	158	97	38	23
270	I heard they play poker every night after we leave.	1.5312	0.05372	192	119	44	29
271	They claim they’re service dogs.	1.5311	0.05377	177	106	48	23
272	Remember, Bring a small plastic bag when you walk the boss	1.5309	0.06014	162	103	32	27
273	Did you know they make seven dollars for every dollar we make?	1.5309	0.05950	162	102	34	26
274	I heard their owners paid someone off to get them into this school.	1.5309	0.05754	162	99	40	23
275	If Bob says 'throw me a bone' one more time, I'm calling the pound.	1.5304	0.05170	181	106	54	21
276	They are great workers until they hear “outside “ or “walk.”	1.5298	0.05854	151	91	40	20
277	Apparently it IS possible to teach an old dog new tricks.	1.5297	0.05069	202	122	53	27
278	They're amazing, unless someone mentions a W-A-L-K.	1.5294	0.05482	170	102	46	22
279	You know, just because I don't hear as well as they do, I should still get a treat once in a while, too.	1.5294	0.05546	170	103	44	23
280	Do you think one of them could retrieve my password?	1.5287	0.05262	174	102	52	20
281	On the Internet, nobody knows you're NOT a dog either.	1.5282	0.05358	195	122	43	30
282	Don't worry, they burnout seven times faster.	1.5281	0.05236	178	105	52	21
283	All I said was ‘doggone it,’ and he reported me to HR!	1.5278	0.05369	180	109	47	24
284	They're learning how to use the Command key.	1.5272	0.05336	184	112	47	25
285	Do they have to go crazy every time an email is delivered?	1.5272	0.05336	184	112	47	25
286	I'm not going to be the one to roll over this time.	1.5269	0.05749	167	104	38	25
287	Joe... Be a good boy and fetch me a cup of coffee.	1.5269	0.05237	186	112	50	24
288	They're telebarketers.	1.5266	0.05356	188	116	45	27
289	Is it really true they put a fire hydrant in the Men's Room?	1.5263	0.05459	171	103	46	22
290	Calm down! On the internet, nobody knows you're a human.	1.5260	0.05595	173	107	41	25
291	Who do you think uploads all the pet videos?	1.5260	0.05713	173	109	37	27
292	It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have to constantly tell them what good boys they are.	1.5260	0.05473	173	105	45	23
293	Of course we look like slackers, they're working like dogs!	1.5257	0.05426	175	106	46	23
294	I think it's your turn to take them out.	1.5256	0.05784	156	95	40	21
295	You basically just have to tell them who’s a good boy.	1.5255	0.05188	196	120	49	27
296	Really, it's the hydrant in the bathroom that gets me.	1.5249	0.05404	181	111	45	25
297	Just a heads up. These guys are very territorial and have marked their computers.	1.5249	0.05404	181	111	45	25
298	If you want to get ahead John, You've got to learn to play ball.	1.5246	0.05524	183	115	40	28
299	They keep best-friending me.	1.5243	0.05089	185	109	55	21
300	At least they finally got the lab fixed.	1.5243	0.05259	185	112	49	24
301	We tried cats but they would eat the mouse.	1.5243	0.05531	185	117	39	29
302	I thought it was a joke too but the one in the glasses just IM'd me about taking a walk at lunch.	1.5241	0.05384	166	98	49	19
303	The dogs are playing online poker again.	1.5241	0.05518	166	100	45	21
304	Should I hit pound?"	1.5238	0.05597	168	103	42	23
305	All they do is watch cat videos all day.	1.5235	0.05420	170	102	47	21
306	You sure these new hires have been vetted?	1.5233	0.05620	172	107	40	25
307	And she says I'm a bitch!?	1.5230	0.05630	174	109	39	26
308	They're bright, obedient and tech savvy, but wait until they spot that tennis ball.	1.5227	0.05281	176	105	50	21
309	Of course they're making us look like fools....they can hear things we can't.	1.5227	0.05808	176	114	32	30
310	It would be cute if they weren't out performing us.	1.5226	0.04662	199	113	68	18
311	The bus broke down so I had to W - A - L - K to work.	1.5225	0.05701	178	114	35	29
312	I feel like you’re the only one in class I can talk to.	1.5222	0.05253	180	108	50	22
313	I can't hear it either.	1.5222	0.05134	180	106	54	20
314	The boss never calls me a good girl when I do anything well...”	1.5215	0.05509	186	118	39	29
315	Ever since I was labeled his ‘emotional support companion’ I’ve had to come to work with him every day.	1.5215	0.05402	186	116	43	27
316	They're not just computer labs. I saw a computer spaniel, too.	1.5213	0.05566	188	121	36	31
317	...I know it’s just how they greet everyone, but it makes me uncomfortable!	1.5212	0.05931	165	106	32	27
318	No different than anyone else, all they do is watch cat videos.	1.5212	0.05610	165	101	42	22
319	But on the Internet, no one knows we’re not dogs!	1.5212	0.05477	165	99	46	20
320	Of course you're a good boy as well Bob.	1.5210	0.05559	167	102	43	22
321	You have to beg to get anything around here.	1.5207	0.05509	169	103	44	22
322	Oh, but it's totally ok for THEM to watch cat videos at work?	1.5205	0.05333	171	102	49	20
323	Why am I the only one who's not a 'good boy'? I work hard too.	1.5202	0.05596	173	108	40	25
324	Excuse me, do you speak Spanish? I have a Chihuahua on the phone.	1.5200	0.05664	175	111	37	27
325	Maybe they hired us because our first names are Scotty and Buffy.	1.5200	0.05722	175	112	35	28
326	I'm going out for an awk-way and an ack-snay	1.5198	0.05671	177	113	36	28
327	No matter what I do, I simply cannot retrieve data as fast as these guys.	1.5196	0.05094	179	105	55	19
328	And you didn't think it was suspicious that all the applicants listed their years of experience in multiples of 7?	1.5193	0.05113	181	107	54	20
329	They can code in seven languages but they can't read the sign about picking up their poop?!	1.5191	0.05416	183	114	43	26
330	I kid you not. Nuggets just submitted a request for a standing desk.	1.5191	0.05247	183	111	49	23
331	Rumor is every year they get paid for seven.	1.5188	0.05606	160	97	43	20
332	They're all using some search engine called 'Fetch.'	1.5188	0.05391	160	94	49	17
333	His password is "imagoodboy"	1.5188	0.05391	160	94	49	17
334	I'm not saying it's favoritism, but when was the last time management threw us a bone?	1.5187	0.05380	187	117	43	27
335	I'm still being paid 20% less than the dogs for the same work.	1.5185	0.05197	162	93	54	15
336	... which would be FINE, except they’re reading Breitbart.	1.5179	0.05662	168	105	39	24
337	It's not fair, they will code all night for a pat on the head.	1.5172	0.05451	174	107	44	23
338	They'll have to stop calling it Human Resources"	1.5170	0.05031	176	102	57	17
339	If he refers to me once more as his little bitch, I’m outta here!	1.5169	0.05475	178	111	42	25
340	Not to generalize, but I find them loyal and engaged.	1.5168	0.05993	149	93	35	21
341	HR said "butt-sniffing" isn't technically harassment.	1.5165	0.05211	182	110	50	22
342	I heard the reason they switched to canines is because the felines struggled with the mouse...	1.5160	0.05086	188	113	53	22
343	So I tell him to keep his paws to himself, or else!	1.5157	0.05192	159	91	54	14
344	Happy now? They're getting HR involved. I told you to stop telling them to ‘sit’.	1.5156	0.05168	192	118	49	25
345	And they say I’m the office bitch!	1.5152	0.05742	165	104	37	24
346	On the internet, nobody knows you’re a human	1.5150	0.05752	167	106	36	25
347	Remind me again – why are our shifts seven times longer than everyone else’s?	1.5148	0.05637	169	106	39	24
348	Dave, what ever you do don't press Ctrl + K9	1.5148	0.05637	169	106	39	24
349	On the Internet nobody knows we're not dogs.	1.5135	0.05261	185	114	47	24
350	Look. I've had some bad experiences dating coworkers.	1.5127	0.05170	197	123	47	27
351	They say they've decided to teach themselves new tricks.	1.5123	0.05344	162	96	49	17
352	And I thought we would be losing our jobs to AI.	1.5118	0.05486	170	105	43	22
353	Well if you didn’t eat my lunch, then who did?!	1.5118	0.05549	170	106	41	23
354	I did try to complain about sexual harassment to the HR guy but he just licked my face and humped my leg.	1.5114	0.05640	176	113	36	27
355	Rover has a good offer from a competitor, but I told him to stay	1.5112	0.05239	178	108	49	21
356	Don't say stray. They're private contractors."	1.5110	0.05327	182	113	45	24
357	Now I understand why "Are you housebroken?" is one of the questions in the job application.	1.5106	0.05031	188	113	54	21
358	They're such brown-nosers.	1.5105	0.05156	190	117	49	24
359	I can't even say I'm "dog-tired"?! Everyone's so sensitive these days.	1.5104	0.05116	192	118	50	24
360	Well, to be fair, you should have labeled your lunch.	1.5104	0.05062	192	117	52	23
361	Did you just call me "bitch?"	1.5100	0.05304	200	129	40	31
362	Luna's great, but I swear Roscoe only got the job because his owner's on the board.	1.5098	0.05800	153	95	38	20
363	I thought we'd be safe from layoffs, but in dog years they have seniority.	1.5091	0.05479	165	101	44	20
364	Anyway they're better colleagues than the cats were.	1.5090	0.05363	167	101	47	19
365	I asked. All they say is “This is where we do our business” and then giggle.	1.5090	0.05363	167	101	47	19
366	The great thing about the internet is they don’t know you’re a human.	1.5088	0.05769	171	111	33	27
367	And we were afraid they'd replace us with robots...	1.5088	0.05335	171	104	47	20
368	What frosts me is that I'm earning only 77% of what they do.	1.5086	0.05429	175	109	43	23
369	How am I supposed to know who's a good boy?	1.5086	0.05306	175	107	47	21
370	The boss says this is one of his pet projects.	1.5085	0.05200	177	107	50	20
371	What makes you think we’re being replaced?	1.5084	0.05218	179	109	49	21
372	I know, but with the new office snacks, my hair is now strong and shiny	1.5084	0.05157	179	108	51	20
373	Just tell him he's going for a car ride.	1.5083	0.04993	181	107	56	18
374	How much 'emotional support' does everyone need around here?	1.5083	0.05234	181	111	48	22
375	You see the one with the glasses, he gave me an unwanted lick on my face.	1.5082	0.05248	183	113	47	23
376	They've blocked all the cat videos.	1.5080	0.05382	187	119	41	27
377	On the internet no one knows I'm a human.	1.5079	0.05285	189	119	44	26
378	I'm not hearing it either!	1.5064	0.05859	156	99	35	22
379	I want to know why we just get a coffee break but 'they' get to go for a ride in the car!?	1.5061	0.05367	164	99	47	18
380	What do you say if someone wants to speak to a real person?	1.5061	0.05504	164	101	43	20
381	They must be really good at retrieving files.	1.5060	0.05273	168	101	49	18
382	Don't worry. On the internet, no one knows you're human.	1.5059	0.05612	170	108	38	24
383	Someone marked the new copier as their territory.	1.5058	0.05562	172	109	39	24
384	I assumed the training would be on paper.	1.5057	0.05222	176	107	49	20
385	We're in trouble Matt, I just saw a poodle and a yorkie in the HR waiting room.	1.5056	0.05196	180	110	49	21
386	We've had a hard time staffing ever since men have been held accountable for their actions	1.5055	0.05212	182	112	48	22
387	All they do is watch funny human videos	1.5055	0.05327	182	114	44	24
388	Guess who's watching people videos again.	1.5053	0.04800	188	110	61	17
389	Who’s a good coworker? Who’s a good coworker?	1.5053	0.05420	190	123	38	29
390	I'm quitting. The boss has been pawing me in the break room.	1.5052	0.04898	192	115	57	20
391	YOU were the one who wanted to work at White House!	1.5051	0.05346	198	129	38	31
392	I liked it better when they just played poker	1.5033	0.05783	151	94	38	19
393	Can you believe the nepotism? The boss hired all his best friends.	1.5030	0.05343	165	100	47	18
394	The owners think I take them to the park...	1.5030	0.05753	167	108	34	25
395	I heard the men's room is a tree.	1.5029	0.05270	171	104	48	19
396	Whatever you do, don't mention roll-over IRA's.	1.5029	0.05352	173	107	45	21
397	At least the 401K is based on dog years.	1.5029	0.05477	173	109	41	23
398	I don't get it. All they talk about are their owners.	1.5029	0.05118	175	105	52	18
399	So when do we tell them "cookies" aren't treats?	1.5028	0.05200	177	108	49	20
400	...and they work an hour but get paid for seven!	1.5028	0.05395	179	113	42	24
401	These brown nosers are making us look bad.	1.5028	0.04932	181	107	57	17
402	Whatever you do, don't say the words "car" or "ride."	1.5028	0.05407	181	115	41	25
403	What was I SUPPOSED to say when my boss asked me to work on his 'Pet Project'?	1.5027	0.05305	183	115	44	24
404	Employee of the Quarter" is apparently now "Best in Show	1.5027	0.05149	185	114	49	22
405	Does the boss like me or does he sniff everybody's butt?	1.5026	0.05137	191	119	48	24
406	They’re all on dating sites pretending they’re not dogs.	1.5000	0.05312	172	106	46	20
407	I bet we were hired because our names are Spike and Fritzy."	1.5000	0.06155	144	93	30	21
408	I don’t care about H.R.; throw the ball and yell, ‘Fetch!’	1.5000	0.05406	168	104	44	20
409	On the Internet, nobody knows you're not a dog.	1.5000	0.04975	202	126	51	25
410	Let's throw the ball and free up some bandwidth.	1.5000	0.05487	170	107	41	22
411	They just watch cat videos all day.	1.5000	0.05316	190	122	41	27
412	Just remember, on the internet no one knows you're NOT a dog, either.	1.5000	0.05439	172	108	42	22
413	I'm not sure which bathroom I'm supposed to use.	1.5000	0.05746	160	102	36	22
414	Why am I the only one who gets called a bitch?!	1.5000	0.05089	196	123	48	25
415	We'll never get promoted here – for every year of work, they get seven dog years of experience.	1.5000	0.05232	194	124	43	27
416	Who do you have to lick around here to get a bowl of treats?	1.5000	0.05211	190	120	45	25
417	It's a lot easier to 'work like a dog' when you're an actual dog.	1.5000	0.05117	172	103	52	17
418	The boss has been barking at me all day	1.4978	0.04657	229	143	58	28
419	God, this place is full of brown nosers.	1.4974	0.04935	193	118	54	21
420	This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted a white collar job.	1.4974	0.05096	193	121	48	24
421	Must be why they call it white collar.	1.4973	0.05164	187	117	47	23
422	How did they get into U.S.C?	1.4972	0.05679	179	119	31	29
423	How come they get treats? We don't get treats	1.4971	0.05307	175	109	45	21
424	Do you think I can pet him without risking harassment charges?	1.4970	0.05203	165	99	50	16
425	You've heard of emotional support animals? -- these are technical support animals.	1.4969	0.05797	163	106	33	24
426	I really hate these "Bring Your Human to Work" days but it means so much to them.	1.4969	0.05842	159	103	33	23
427	I'm getting tired of them transferring a call to me every time someone wants to talk to a bitch	1.4966	0.06122	145	94	30	21
428	The one on my right? Her parents paid a fortune to get her into an elite obedience school.	1.4946	0.05339	184	118	41	25
429	They haven't noticed the ball yet. Should I say something?	1.4945	0.05154	182	113	48	21
430	Does ‘Me Too’ cover lower body sniffing?	1.4945	0.05154	182	113	48	21
431	And then I told him, just keep your paws to yourself!	1.4944	0.05240	178	111	46	21
432	All they do is watch cute human videos online.	1.4944	0.05359	178	113	42	23
433	Yea, I had to roll over to get this job.	1.4943	0.05032	176	106	53	17
434	One of the new hires ate my gym shoes.	1.4943	0.05391	174	110	42	22
435	I had to play ball with these guys to get this job.	1.4942	0.05376	172	108	43	21
436	I'm going out. Do you have an extra plastic bag?	1.4940	0.05250	166	101	48	17
437	This is worse than Google. The Finance VP just humped my leg in the break room.	1.4939	0.05436	164	102	43	19
438	What's my problem? What's my PROBLEM! I just found out even THEY'RE getting paid more than me!	1.4937	0.05948	160	106	29	25
439	They’re really good coders once you get them to sit.	1.4937	0.05517	158	98	42	18
440	I go to high-five him and he LICKS my hand! Who DOES that?	1.4937	0.05369	158	96	46	16
441	On the internet will anyone know I'm not a dog?	1.4937	0.05517	158	98	42	18
442	Just watch what happens when they see a SQRL protocol.	1.4935	0.05547	154	95	42	17
443	I can’t believe there are fire hydrants in the rest rooms.	1.4924	0.04807	197	120	57	20
444	Big deal. My cat was online years ago.	1.4923	0.04843	195	119	56	20
445	She said I scratched behind her ear inappropriately...	1.4920	0.05219	187	119	44	24
446	I think we've been hacked. They all use the password "Pavlov."	1.4919	0.05033	185	114	51	20
447	The new guy licked my face!	1.4919	0.05149	185	116	47	22
448	He still claims the leg humping thing was consensual.	1.4919	0.05317	185	119	41	25
449	Someone's been going through my trash file.	1.4918	0.05248	183	116	44	23
450	I already trained them to sit and stay. Now we’re on to rollover your 401(k).	1.4917	0.05407	181	117	39	25
451	On the Internet, nobody can tell you're a real person.	1.4915	0.05261	177	111	45	21
452	They're watching kitten videos. What about the ones on your side?	1.4915	0.05138	177	109	49	19
453	The brown-nosing around here is getting out of control!	1.4915	0.04947	177	106	55	16
454	He keeps asking if I want to have lunch at the park.	1.4915	0.05261	177	111	45	21
455	They're just visiting random websites looking for cookies.	1.4913	0.05225	173	107	47	19
456	I lied on my application. I can't bark!	1.4913	0.05225	173	107	47	19
457	The guy on my right has been staring at a raw steak photo for the last 30 minutes!	1.4910	0.05496	167	106	40	21
458	So being housebroken is the only job requirement?	1.4909	0.05273	165	101	47	17
459	As I heard it from my friend in HR, the chimpanzees thought the job was beneath them.	1.4903	0.04805	206	128	55	23
460	For not having opposable thumbs, his code is impressively clean.	1.4901	0.04668	202	122	61	19
461	No, I'm not a coder. I'm his walker.	1.4895	0.04936	190	117	53	20
462	Who enabled cookies?	1.4886	0.05283	176	111	44	21
463	How do I even qualify for 'Good Boy of the Month'?	1.4885	0.05513	174	113	37	24
464	So I told him to mark the important emails and you don't even want to know the rest.	1.4885	0.05632	174	115	33	26
465	...and for your information, I’m not the only bitch that works here!	1.4882	0.05612	170	111	35	24
466	Have you noticed this week's meeting agendas all focus on obedience?	1.4882	0.05293	170	106	45	19
467	Sure, it’s fine for them but when I come to work naked it’s deemed “inappropriate” by HR	1.4882	0.05226	170	105	47	18
468	On line, nobody knows I’m human.	1.4882	0.05486	170	109	39	22
469	Apparently management wants to change our retirement savings plan to a 401K-9.	1.4877	0.04857	203	127	53	23
470	I thought we were supposed to lose our jobs to robots.	1.4877	0.05415	162	101	43	18
471	I don't care if he is married to the boss's daughter, I'm not going to spend my lunch hour playing fetch with him anymore.	1.4874	0.04825	199	123	55	21
472	If you get stuck, just say "Who's a good boy?"	1.4873	0.05120	197	127	44	26
473	I don’t want to overreact, but all the cats are gone.	1.4872	0.05642	156	99	38	19
474	My boss is a bitch!	1.4870	0.04934	193	120	52	21
475	‘Which restroom are they going to use?’	1.4869	0.05294	191	125	39	27
476	The restroom is a patch of grass?!	1.4865	0.05372	185	121	38	26
477	Can you believe someone ate my lunch for the third day in a row?	1.4862	0.05349	181	117	40	24
478	I'm sick of management putting us on these pet projects!	1.4860	0.05394	179	116	39	24
479	It was bad enough when they played poker.	1.4860	0.04970	179	109	53	17
480	It all started when they made this a “dog-friendly workplace.”	1.4860	0.04907	179	108	55	16
481	The worst part? On the Internet, no one knows they're dogs!	1.4860	0.05394	179	116	39	24
482	They literally work for food...	1.4859	0.05499	177	116	36	25
483	I'm all for diversity, but have you seen the new menu in the employee cafeteria?	1.4857	0.05306	175	111	43	21
484	No joke, I heard the new Director of ICE is a Border Collie!	1.4855	0.05597	173	114	34	25
485	They're great, but don't leave your lunch alone.	1.4855	0.05597	173	114	34	25
486	Tell me you brought a plastic bag.	1.4854	0.05334	171	108	43	20
487	No, you can't sniff my butt.	1.4850	0.05560	167	108	37	22
488	Cat Tuesday is even worse !	1.4845	0.05282	194	128	38	28
489	Guess who just opened an account on petsmart.com with your credit card?	1.4845	0.05649	161	104	36	21
490	It’s a bit too dog-friendly a workplace, if you ask me.	1.4837	0.05169	184	117	45	22
491	Ironically, they're very catty to work with.	1.4835	0.05269	182	117	42	23
492	Apparently you can teach an old dog to fetch data.	1.4835	0.05211	182	116	44	22
493	Yes. We're the last.	1.4831	0.04926	178	108	54	16
494	Yeah, but throw one stick...	1.4830	0.05491	147	90	43	14
495	I don’t know why I even bother coming to work...I’ll NEVER be top dog around here!”	1.4828	0.05328	174	111	42	21
496	I know I’m late. For some reason I just never hear the whistle.	1.4826	0.05246	172	108	45	19
497	Seriously, they're all reading Orwell!	1.4826	0.05048	172	105	51	16
498	When the hiring manager said it took a 'rare breed' to work here, I should have put two and two together.	1.4822	0.04413	197	115	69	13
499	Can’t they stock the vending machines with anything besides kibble and toilet bowl water?	1.4821	0.05338	168	106	43	19
500	The real question is, who let the dogs IN?	1.4821	0.05662	168	111	33	24
501	I don't care if they're your best friends.	1.4821	0.05271	168	105	45	18
502	They're very loyal.	1.4821	0.04787	195	120	56	19
503	Psst... what did you put for 'Who's a good dog?'	1.4819	0.05520	166	107	38	21
504	Somehow, I thought computer lab would have more computers, and fewer Labs.	1.4819	0.05248	166	103	46	17
505	Do you keep getting pop up ads for flea collars?	1.4815	0.04476	189	110	67	12
506	All I said was ‘“Dog Gone It” and now I’m up on harassment charges.	1.4810	0.05659	158	102	36	20
507	The unisex bathroom is a mess too!	1.4805	0.05621	154	98	38	18
508	Our manager said if we work extra hard he’ll throw us a bone or two.	1.4804	0.05094	179	112	48	19
509	I keep explaining that the client can’t SEE that they’re wagging their tails	1.4804	0.04710	179	106	60	13
510	No, it's not me, did you check your shoes?	1.4803	0.05599	152	96	39	17
511	Bow-wow. The password is Bow-wow.	1.4802	0.05380	177	115	39	23
512	They're being allowed " comfort humans" starting next week!	1.4800	0.04806	200	125	54	21
513	I’m not the bitch in this situation Greg.	1.4796	0.05139	196	128	42	26
514	If I agree to go with him to the dog park, is that considered a date?	1.4795	0.05268	171	108	44	19
515	I can't go one day without being asked out on a walk.	1.4793	0.05180	169	105	47	17
516	They replaced WHAT with a fire hydrant?	1.4793	0.05314	169	107	43	19
517	Remember when people outnumbered the emotional support animals?	1.4790	0.05559	167	109	36	22
518	I heard that Fifi only got that promotion because she's such an ass sniffer."	1.4790	0.05559	167	109	36	22
519	That son-of-a-bitch makes 30% more than me.	1.4789	0.05045	190	121	47	22
520	Do you ever wonder if we are overqualified?	1.4788	0.05477	165	106	39	20
521	I try to sneak one cat video on my break and the place goes bananas!	1.4788	0.05477	165	106	39	20
522	I thought it was robots who were supposed to take our jobs.	1.4788	0.05340	165	104	43	18
523	Not only do they have their Masters degrees but they also have obedience training.	1.4788	0.05340	165	104	43	18
524	The client asked, and he just rolled right over."	1.4787	0.05029	188	119	48	21
525	So, do you think I should take Oreo's leg humping to HR, or was it only meant to show affection?	1.4787	0.05141	188	121	44	23
526	It's YOUR turn to take them outside, Kyle.	1.4785	0.05011	186	117	49	20
527	I mean, nobody told you to "stay."	1.4783	0.05167	184	118	44	22
528	What are we supposed to do? Just rollover and play dead?	1.4783	0.05068	161	97	51	13
529	Eight pee breaks is excessive.	1.4780	0.05488	159	101	40	18
530	EVERY time the doorbell rings?	1.4777	0.05314	157	97	45	15
531	No sink, no water fountain, just that bowl on the floor! Is that even legal?	1.4775	0.05052	178	111	49	18
532	They want us to join them at the 'no leash' park for happy hour.	1.4773	0.05094	176	110	48	18
533	I dunno...I guess the cats refused to work overtime.	1.4773	0.05094	176	110	48	18
534	At least they’re all byte no bark.	1.4770	0.05450	174	114	37	23
535	The guy next to me won't stop watching cat videos.	1.4768	0.05625	151	96	38	17
536	If there are fire hydrants in the bathrooms then I'm outta here!	1.4767	0.05245	172	109	44	19
537	Im worried Pete. I heard they’re bringing in the big dogs next.	1.4767	0.05114	172	107	48	17
538	He licks himself after every sale.	1.4762	0.05065	189	121	46	22
539	I thought firing the cats was a good idea too, until they installed the fire hydrant in the break room.	1.4759	0.05105	187	120	45	22
540	What’s with the fire hydrant in the break room?	1.4759	0.05452	166	107	39	20
541	It’s asking me for the name of the street I grew up peeing on.	1.4756	0.05501	164	106	38	20
542	Can you believe Jim here is looking at kitty porn?	1.4756	0.05433	164	105	40	19
543	And to think I was soooo worried about artificial intelligence taking my job.	1.4754	0.04951	183	114	51	18
544	I wouldn't mind if we didn't have to walk them.	1.4754	0.05130	183	117	45	21
545	This is NOT what I meant when I said hire someone to retrieve data!	1.4753	0.05483	162	104	39	19
546	Is there an indoor restroom in this place?	1.4747	0.04893	198	126	50	22
547	Why is the wi-fi password 'Pavlov'?	1.4747	0.05098	198	130	42	26
548	No, you may not sniff my butt.	1.4746	0.05555	177	119	32	26
549	Bring-your-human-to-work day sucks!	1.4746	0.05008	177	110	50	17
550	But Jerry, on the internet no one knows you’re a human.	1.4746	0.05319	177	115	40	22
551	Guess what they said when I asked where the bathroom was?	1.4743	0.05426	175	115	37	23
552	I didn't even know there was such a thing as squirrel porn.	1.4741	0.06116	135	88	30	17
553	I know I should be upset, but they're well-groomed, focused, and I love the 'walk around the block' breaks every two hours.	1.4740	0.04667	192	117	59	16
554	I'm his emotional support animal.	1.4737	0.04989	190	121	48	21
555	Next week I start training my replacement. But they say he’s a good boy, so...	1.4737	0.05597	152	97	38	17
556	Well if YOU didn't chew up my hard drive, then who did?!	1.4734	0.05178	169	106	46	17
557	Hey John, just out of curiosity, have you ever lied on a resume?	1.4734	0.04970	169	103	52	14
558	Maybe it's time to stop worrying about robots taking our jobs.	1.4728	0.04809	184	113	55	16
559	See, I told you! Once the ball is out of their sight, they can be more productive than the two of us put together..	1.4726	0.05684	146	93	37	16
560	They're really good at finding bitcoin.	1.4725	0.05150	182	117	44	21
561	You're telling me you've never seen a computer lab before?	1.4719	0.05473	178	119	34	25
562	On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.	1.4716	0.05401	176	116	37	23
563	WTF, I just found out Rex is making more than me.	1.4716	0.05218	176	113	43	20
564	One of them is looking at paintings of dogs playing poker, and the other one is playing poker.	1.4716	0.05280	176	114	41	21
565	How can we compete? They're incentivized by belly rubs.	1.4715	0.04985	193	124	47	22
566	All they do is look at cat videos on YouTube.	1.4713	0.05684	157	103	34	20
567	You'd think if they were having a bring-your-owner-to-work day, they'd have something useful for us to do.	1.4713	0.05509	174	116	34	24
568	What a bunch of brown-nosers.	1.4713	0.05387	174	114	38	22
569	I'm so tired of having to W-A-L-K on eggshells.	1.4709	0.05558	172	115	33	24
570	Then the guy at station three tried to sniff my butt during the 10 o' clock break!	1.4706	0.05431	187	127	32	28
571	They take our jobs and don't even bother to speak our language! This is why I voted for Trump.	1.4706	0.05270	187	124	38	25
572	If he smells me once more, I'm getting an Invisible Fence around my workstation.	1.4706	0.05047	187	120	46	21
573	They asked me to play poker with them after work.	1.4703	0.05087	185	119	45	21
574	You could have been clearer when you said I'd be working with a bunch of animals, Bob."	1.4702	0.05131	168	105	47	16
575	You have to hold it in until the boss takes us for a walk.	1.4702	0.05268	168	107	43	18
576	They wont keep their paws off me.	1.4699	0.05301	183	121	38	24
577	The thing is, they don’t really work that hard.	1.4699	0.05069	183	117	46	20
578	They're so smug. I mean, it's not like I expect THEM to pick up MY poop!	1.4699	0.05069	183	117	46	20
579	Yesterday it was a room full of monkeys with typewriters.	1.4699	0.05245	166	105	44	17
580	Of course they’re taking our jobs. They work for kibble!	1.4696	0.05229	181	118	41	22
581	He's only flagging the cat videos.	1.4696	0.05110	181	116	45	20
582	It's your turn to let them out!	1.4695	0.05220	164	103	45	16
583	I don't care if they can hear me. I want to go for a walk.	1.4695	0.05362	164	105	41	18
584	They work in packs. We don’t have a chance.	1.4691	0.04689	194	120	57	17
585	My performance review said 'works like a dog' so I guess that's good, right?	1.4689	0.05317	177	116	39	22
586	Whoa! You dropped acid last night too?	1.4688	0.04837	192	121	52	19
587	I heard they’re making more than us, right out of obedience school!	1.4688	0.05460	160	103	39	18
588	Do you get asked to fetch things too?	1.4684	0.04987	190	122	47	21
589	He won’t stop looking at kitty porn!	1.4678	0.05065	171	107	48	16
590	What's the problem? We're getting great customer reviews since they took over the call center.	1.4675	0.05541	154	99	38	17
591	I don't care if it makes me culturally insensitive - I NEVER like to hear a female called a bitch.	1.4675	0.05442	169	111	37	21
592	You said TeleBarketing was just a clever name.	1.4674	0.05107	184	119	44	21
593	If they didn't spend half their time looking at cat videos, this wouldn't be so bad.	1.4663	0.05234	178	116	41	21
594	This isn't what I expected working for a pet friendly company.	1.4663	0.04856	178	110	53	15
595	Stop watching cat videos! You know how easily our coworkers get distracted.	1.4663	0.05169	163	102	46	15
596	Before cutting costs, we had only counselors at this hot line - but now they can choose to speak with an emotional support animal"	1.4663	0.05592	163	108	34	21
597	This is such a good boy's club.	1.4660	0.05077	191	125	43	23
598	You don't smell that?	1.4655	0.05067	174	110	47	17
599	Rosie reported me to HR for saying she's Husky.	1.4655	0.05001	174	109	49	16
600	I'm a bit worried about the lunch buffet…	1.4651	0.05110	172	109	46	17
601	If PETA finds out about this, we are screwed!	1.4651	0.05369	172	113	38	21
602	I hate bring your person to work day	1.4647	0.05606	170	115	31	24
603	Even the well-trained ones waste hours on cat videos.	1.4645	0.05359	155	98	42	15
604	On the Internet, they don't know you're a human!	1.4645	0.05067	183	118	45	20
605	Just wear a flea collar like i do.	1.4645	0.05008	183	117	47	19
606	This isn't what I was expecting when they said it was a dog-friendly workplace.	1.4645	0.04886	183	115	51	17
607	People just love them immediately. How are we supposed to compete with that?	1.4643	0.04653	196	122	57	17
608	If you ask me, they're all a bunch of brown-nosers.	1.4643	0.04873	196	126	49	21
609	I think most of them aren’t even licensed	1.4643	0.04915	168	103	52	13
610	These are the new watchdogs Facebook hired to help us monitor inappropriate content.	1.4639	0.05312	166	107	41	18
611	And we were worried about AI!	1.4639	0.05312	166	107	41	18
612	I'll warn you now, our department is all bitch, bitch, bitch.	1.4637	0.05271	179	118	39	22
613	We're the only ones here who catch the nuances. The rest of them see everything as black or white.	1.4634	0.05429	164	107	38	19
614	They work, like, one-seventh as hard as we do.	1.4633	0.04940	177	111	50	16
615	I just cant compete, these guys seem to able to smell a good trade.	1.4631	0.04999	203	135	42	26
616	I thought they preferred laptops.	1.4631	0.04697	203	129	54	20
617	Check out the one with the resting bitch face.	1.4630	0.05478	162	106	37	19
618	Can you believe management wants to send us to obedience training?	1.4629	0.05237	175	114	41	20
619	They're all watching 'stupid cat trick' clips!	1.4629	0.04980	175	110	49	16
620	Is your seat wet too?	1.4629	0.04980	175	110	49	16
621	What in the world is a "fetch engine?"	1.4628	0.04910	188	120	49	19
622	It started as a favor to the shelter, but they're better at it than the people they replaced.	1.4628	0.05024	188	122	45	21
623	They expect us to work like dogs!	1.4624	0.05343	186	126	34	26
624	Her screen name is "Computer Lab"!	1.4624	0.05177	186	123	40	23
625	Our employer is very considerate. The bathrooms here have both toilets AND fire hydrants.	1.4620	0.05509	158	103	37	18
626	Remember, no laser points at the meeting, alright?	1.4620	0.05276	184	123	37	24
627	What do you say if they ask for a real person?	1.4615	0.05174	169	108	44	17
628	OMG! He just "best-friended" me on Facebook."	1.4615	0.05255	156	98	44	14
629	They're working on the Lab report.	1.4615	0.05767	143	93	34	16
630	I have reason to suspect that they were involved in the recent admissions scandal.	1.4615	0.05936	143	95	30	18
631	Cover me for a sec? Gotta go use the fire hydrant.	1.4607	0.04909	191	123	48	20
632	I hate being the token woman in this office.	1.4607	0.05046	178	114	46	18
633	I heard they cancelled the outsourcing to India.	1.4607	0.04983	178	113	48	17
634	And then... he put his paw on my shoulder!	1.4606	0.05049	165	103	48	14
635	Then I had to show her where they sniffed me on a doll!	1.4606	0.05538	165	110	34	21
636	Those mushrooms were not a good idea, billy.	1.4603	0.05169	189	126	39	24
637	Its so unfair,they are always so happy and attentive	1.4602	0.05151	176	114	43	19
638	I saw Fido's pay stub and even HE earns more than me!!!	1.4601	0.05382	163	106	39	18
639	It's the pack mentality here that I have trouble with.	1.4601	0.05167	163	103	45	15
640	- This is unacceptable, the senior dogs are being replaced by puppies with no experience.	1.4601	0.05589	163	109	33	21
641	There is a literal DOG sitting next to you, and you have a problem with a woman working here?!	1.4598	0.05444	174	117	34	23
642	When will they learn to do their business outside?	1.4598	0.05383	174	116	36	22
643	Why am I always stuck with refilling the water bowl in the break room?”	1.4598	0.05065	174	111	46	17
644	And I was worried about automation.	1.4595	0.04906	185	118	49	18
645	Have you seen my tennis ball?	1.4593	0.05107	172	110	45	17
646	This is what happens when the company’s website starts using cookies.	1.4593	0.05367	172	114	37	21
647	I wish he would just work from home on the days leading up to bath day.	1.4592	0.04924	196	128	46	22
648	But hey, we’re the last employees who still get dental.	1.4591	0.05554	159	105	35	19
649	I hate these 'bring-your-human-to-work days'.	1.4591	0.05765	159	108	29	22
650	Well, there goes the opposable thumb theory.	1.4591	0.05554	159	105	35	19
651	I'm just worried about the food they'll cater at our staff meeting.	1.4586	0.04922	181	115	49	17
652	Is leg-humping sexual harassment?"	1.4583	0.05195	168	108	43	17
653	And here we were, worried about robots."	1.4583	0.05054	192	127	42	23
654	Do you know where the restrooms are? All I could find was an indoor fire hydrant.	1.4583	0.05591	168	114	31	23
655	If they can do it, why can't my Dad?!	1.4581	0.05148	179	117	42	20
656	I just asked him if he could fetch me something, and he put on those noise-cancelling headphones and won’t even look at me now.	1.4576	0.05313	177	118	37	22
657	I think I’m the first female hire... not sure though.	1.4576	0.05313	177	118	37	22
658	They're on "amortize." My dog's still working on "stay."	1.4574	0.05078	188	124	42	22
659	I guess we've traded the 'good old boy' network for the 'good boy' version......"	1.4574	0.05244	188	127	36	25
660	They keep saying, 'On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.'	1.4574	0.05134	188	125	40	23
661	It keeps autocorrecting my search engine to "Good boy"	1.4571	0.05107	175	113	44	18
662	Don't you hate "Bring your master to work" day.	1.4571	0.05171	175	114	42	19
663	I think they’re playing video poker.	1.4571	0.05297	175	116	38	21
664	I don't know about you, but I think taking the Alpo account was a mistake.	1.4570	0.05004	186	121	45	20
665	If this new hiring continues, I swear I am going to W-A-L-K right out of here.	1.4570	0.05848	151	102	29	20
666	I checked with the others ... we were all told this job would be a walk in the park.	1.4568	0.05113	162	102	46	14
667	And to think I was worried about robots!	1.4563	0.04941	206	138	42	26
668	They're working as online service dogs.	1.4563	0.05234	160	102	43	15
669	When's the last time the boss threw US a bone?	1.4561	0.05060	171	109	46	16
670	And then I said, “I don’t WANT a dog biscuit, I want a RAISE!”	1.4561	0.05127	171	110	44	17
671	All cat videos are completely blocked!	1.4560	0.05024	182	118	45	19
672	They're not doing any work! They're just looking at cat videos.	1.4560	0.04712	182	113	55	14
673	They're using "dawg" and "bitch" ironically, right?	1.4560	0.05024	182	118	45	19
674	I worry we are becoming the underdogs around here...	1.4555	0.04963	191	125	45	21
675	Mr. Schilling left the business to his dog. This does not bode well for us.	1.4551	0.05407	156	101	39	16
676	Is the New Yorker this desperate for writers?	1.4551	0.05615	167	114	30	23
677	Say Hashtag...never Pound!	1.4551	0.05408	178	121	33	24
678	On the internet, no one knows you're a person.	1.4551	0.05043	178	115	45	18
679	And you were worried about robots?	1.4551	0.04980	178	114	47	17
680	So what if we're token hires? It's a good gig."	1.4550	0.04771	189	120	52	17
681	Max from accounting keeps trying to sniff my butt.	1.4550	0.05112	189	126	40	23
682	I could use a break. Does anyone else want to take a walk?	1.4545	0.05535	154	101	36	17
683	He says it's his pet project.	1.4545	0.05119	165	105	45	15
684	I don't know what's happening, they were just playing poker a minute ago	1.4545	0.05331	165	108	39	18
685	he just asked me to fetch him coffee!	1.4545	0.04671	198	126	54	18
686	I don't care if that's how they 'greet' each other."	1.4545	0.05153	187	125	39	23
687	I don't care how good they are--I'm not giving any more belly rubs	1.4545	0.05458	154	100	38	16
688	Why are their videos getting so many more hits than ours?!	1.4541	0.04963	185	120	46	19
689	I can't remember the last time the boss gave me a treat.	1.4540	0.04929	174	110	49	15
690	Don't worry, on the web no one knows we're human!	1.4540	0.05379	163	107	38	18
691	You've GOT to learn to sit, Jayden, or you're never gonna make it.	1.4536	0.04567	194	121	58	15
692	...And on Friday's, it's 'Casual Collar' day.	1.4535	0.04969	172	109	48	15
693	You can't blame every fart on your colleagues, George!	1.4534	0.05356	161	105	39	17
694	Bitch!” still sounds perjoritive to me	1.4527	0.04779	201	131	49	21
695	I heard they're friends with that bitch from HR.	1.4527	0.05936	148	101	27	20
696	I didn't expect this when they said it was 'Dog-friendly' .	1.4526	0.04924	190	124	46	20
697	But, he's not a good boy...he watches cat videos all day.	1.4525	0.05084	179	117	43	19
698	Why do they watch cat videos all day long?	1.4524	0.05327	168	111	38	19
699	Milo won't talk to me because he caught me watching cat videos.	1.4522	0.05455	157	103	37	17
700	So now we have to offer emotional support?	1.4522	0.05304	157	101	41	15
701	I don't care if she's in a protected class. Drinking out of the ladies room toilet is gross.	1.4522	0.05147	157	99	45	13
702	They work cheap now, but wait till they organize.	1.4520	0.05063	177	115	44	18
703	Don't worry. On the Internet, they don't know you're not a dog.	1.4518	0.04902	197	130	45	22
704	They can sniff out the hackers	1.4518	0.04902	197	130	45	22
705	This office is a total good boys' club.	1.4516	0.05059	186	123	42	21
706	All day they’re online playing poker.	1.4514	0.05231	175	116	39	20
707	So much for being loyal; I heard he's interviewing at Google next week.	1.4514	0.05168	175	115	41	19
708	All they're doing is looking at stupid human videos.	1.4514	0.04908	175	111	49	15
709	You are the one looking for promotion, Rick. So what if you have to rub some bellies few times a day?	1.4511	0.04799	184	117	51	16
710	I think she's a bitch too, but you should really keep your voice down.	1.4511	0.05099	184	122	41	21
711	They must be the new breed of programers we heard about!	1.4511	0.05157	184	123	39	22
712	He's watching cat videos, again!	1.4506	0.05402	162	107	37	18
713	Who’s going to hang up on a dog?	1.4506	0.05110	162	103	45	14
714	He keeps asking me to rub his belly - SO not cool.	1.4505	0.05081	182	120	42	20
715	so wait... I just click K and then 9 and then delete?	1.4505	0.04960	182	118	46	18
716	Look, I know that last fart was you.	1.4503	0.05574	171	118	29	24
717	On the web no one knows.	1.4503	0.05257	171	113	39	19
718	I figured "Woof" was just a clever company name.	1.4503	0.04904	191	125	46	20
719	It was cute when they played poker, but this is too much.	1.4500	0.04745	180	113	53	14
720	I thought we were being replaced by robots.	1.4500	0.04745	180	113	53	14
721	You know, when the interviewer asked if I was a ‘good girl’ I just thought he was being sexist.	1.4500	0.05379	160	105	38	17
722	All they do is watch cat videos.	1.4500	0.05242	180	121	37	22
723	They'll only take a break if you throw the ball.	1.4500	0.05062	180	118	43	19
724	If Rex gets Employee of the Month one more time, I'm gonna scream!	1.4497	0.05110	189	127	39	23
725	Why are we whispering?	1.4497	0.05099	169	109	44	16
726	Apparently there's a new hookup site called 'Bone'.	1.4497	0.05434	169	114	34	21
727	Can you believe they're switching us to Macs because they like the 'Command' key?	1.4494	0.04977	178	115	46	17
728	Bruno, the one with the glasses He’s a brown-noser	1.4494	0.05201	158	101	43	14
729	I don't know what annoys me more,the fact that they slobber all over the place or that they're better than me.	1.4494	0.05428	158	104	37	17
730	I just know they're talking about us.	1.4491	0.05072	167	107	45	15
731	'Bring your owner to work day' .	1.4491	0.05212	167	109	41	17
732	But what I really hate are the new snacks in the vending machine!	1.4491	0.05212	167	109	41	17
733	You'll have to get used to the sniffing hiney thing. They just want to know what you had for lunch.	1.4491	0.05000	167	106	47	14
734	It's your turn to walk Engineering.	1.4491	0.05143	167	108	43	16
735	pssst... Did we miss a memo last week?	1.4489	0.04886	176	112	49	15
736	I can stand the whining, but the territory marking is beyond the pale.	1.4489	0.05145	176	116	41	19
737	It must be coming up to deadline. Rosie never eats at her desk.	1.4488	0.04657	205	133	52	20
738	Can you believe they had no resources left for MY pet project?	1.4486	0.05135	185	124	39	22
739	Have you seen that new poodle in Marketing? I heard she rolled over during her first interview.	1.4483	0.04993	174	112	46	16
740	I don't mind the temps they brought in, but the new boss is a real bitch!	1.4481	0.05683	154	104	31	19
741	I guess I should have taught my dog Delete and Save instead of Sit and Stay	1.4477	0.05101	172	112	43	17
742	I can't compete. They work for kibble.	1.4477	0.05424	172	117	33	22
743	I regret not saying I was a cat person	1.4472	0.04898	161	100	50	11
744	Just tell him you like parks and rides in the front seat ,but mailmen give you the creeps.	1.4472	0.04977	161	101	48	12
745	I guess they can teach old dogs new tricks."	1.4471	0.05211	170	112	40	18
746	There appears to be an issue with our facial recognition security system	1.4471	0.05211	170	112	40	18
747	What should I do? The Australian Shepherd asked me out!	1.4471	0.05076	170	110	44	16
748	I'm just saying, some cat diversity would be nice.	1.4471	0.04866	170	107	50	13
749	He just ate the mouse!	1.4469	0.05322	179	122	34	23
750	Everyone denied stealing my lunch from the fridge.	1.4465	0.05252	159	103	41	15
751	Out?! Who let them in!?	1.4464	0.05119	168	109	43	16
752	At least they're better than the pigs who used to work here.	1.4464	0.05390	168	113	35	20
753	I don't care if it triples my quota; I'm NOT ending every call with "Now who's a good boy??!!"	1.4464	0.05119	168	109	43	16
754	Doesn't it bother you that everyone else is nude?	1.4464	0.04978	168	107	47	14
755	Nobody on the internet knows we're humans.	1.4459	0.05448	148	96	38	14
756	I just feel as if I don’t pass the sniff test	1.4459	0.05143	157	100	44	13
757	You hear that, right? He's says only a dog can hear it.	1.4458	0.05163	166	108	42	16
758	If one more millennial puppy asks me to pet him I'll scream.	1.4458	0.05371	166	111	36	19
759	We're next.	1.4457	0.04978	184	121	44	19
760	When I was growing up, they used to just play outside.	1.4457	0.04978	184	121	44	19
761	Every time the mail room person arrived, they all chased him.	1.4456	0.04974	193	129	42	22
762	Their temps, the monkeys got promoted.	1.4452	0.05501	146	95	37	14
763	They’re part of a new breed.	1.4451	0.04758	164	101	53	10
764	Yeah, weirder and weirder, but Trump demanded security clearances for them.	1.4451	0.05582	173	121	27	25
765	If someone tells me to "wag more" one more time, I quit.	1.4451	0.05144	173	114	41	18
766	On tech support no one knows you're a dog.	1.4451	0.05144	173	114	41	18
767	This whole bring your dog to work day is getting out of hand.	1.4451	0.05011	173	112	45	16
768	The help wanted ad said this was a white-collar job.	1.4451	0.05209	173	115	39	19
769	I had a sneaking suspicion that our company's "bring your dog to work" policy had an ulterior motive!	1.4451	0.04508	182	112	59	11
770	Do you have any t-r-e-a-t-s with you?	1.4451	0.04770	182	116	51	15
771	Could you tell the guy next to you to chew with his mouth closed?	1.4451	0.04833	182	117	49	16
772	Alporithm? What's that?	1.4451	0.04896	182	118	47	17
773	This office has been way too quiet ever since they lost their B-A-L-L.	1.4450	0.04957	191	127	43	21
774	I'm not happy with this 'Take-your-owner-to-work' day.	1.4444	0.04665	198	128	52	18
775	And we thought we’d be replaced by robots.	1.4444	0.05181	162	105	42	15
776	No, I'm NOT ok with you breaking our date so you can go play poker with the boys tonight!	1.4444	0.04939	189	125	44	20
777	I don’t think these new hires were properly vetted.	1.4444	0.04995	189	126	42	21
778	Everybody here is a son of a bitch!	1.4438	0.05343	178	122	33	23
779	I think I misunderstood this whole 'bring your dog to work' day.	1.4438	0.04909	178	115	47	16
780	If this keeps up, soon we'll be working for treats.	1.4438	0.04909	178	115	47	16
781	I wanted everyone to get a standing desk, but the others voted to sit	1.4438	0.05299	169	113	37	19
782	I mean, he's cute and all but I don't want to wake up with fleas	1.4438	0.05026	169	109	45	15
783	I yearn for the days before online gambling when they just played poker around the table like normal dogs.	1.4438	0.05519	160	108	33	19
784	I’m so tired of being the token humans.	1.4432	0.05078	176	116	42	18
785	I keep getting looked over for promotions. It's a total "Good Boy's" club.	1.4430	0.05823	149	102	28	19
786	I know I shouldn't be surprised, but they're watching Fox News.	1.4428	0.04977	201	137	39	25
787	I liked it better when it was a rat race.	1.4426	0.04996	183	121	43	19
788	Tree break? What's a tree break?	1.4426	0.05174	183	124	37	22
789	He just swallowed my mouse.	1.4425	0.05120	174	115	41	18
790	At least nobody steals my yoghurt from the fridge anymore.	1.4425	0.05120	174	115	41	18
791	It's a dog/e-dog world	1.4425	0.04989	174	113	45	16
792	I feel I'm being judged for being a cat person.	1.4424	0.05112	165	107	43	15
793	A cat would handle a mouse better	1.4424	0.05461	165	112	33	20
794	I just want to make more than a golden retriever	1.4420	0.04975	181	119	44	18
795	...OMG! Gary looks JUST like his dog!	1.4420	0.05036	181	120	42	19
796	It's not a system bug, it's fleas.	1.4420	0.04850	181	117	48	16
797	I don't we should be subjected to the same spayed and neutered policy	1.4419	0.05294	172	116	36	20
798	All they do is play online poker!	1.4419	0.05421	172	118	32	22
799	Does she have to eat at her desk?	1.4419	0.05097	172	113	42	17
800	It's not their fault; the boss told them to sit and stay.	1.4417	0.05301	163	108	38	17
801	Well, YOU have obviously never tried wearing a skirt to the morning greeting.	1.4417	0.05372	163	109	36	18
802	Sure, they'll hire dogs at the entry-level, but just tell me why the managers are all cats.	1.4417	0.05301	163	108	38	17
803	I remember when we brought them to work.	1.4416	0.05603	154	104	32	18
804	Is this how Gen X felt about millennials?	1.4415	0.04781	188	122	49	17
805	For morale, we let them bring their owners in on Fridays.	1.4415	0.04599	188	119	55	14
806	I thought it was a computer lab, not computer LABS!	1.4413	0.05377	179	124	31	24
807	Bitches, am I right?	1.4413	0.05199	179	121	37	21
808	This isn’t the type of diversity I was pushing for.	1.4413	0.05077	179	119	41	19
809	Nothing we can do. They all have security clearance.	1.4412	0.04512	204	131	56	17
810	They're loyal.	1.4409	0.04440	186	115	60	11
811	'We're screwed. They' re moving to ultrahigh frequency.'	1.4408	0.05658	152	103	31	18
812	Don't worry, if their are no open computers you can just throw a ball.	1.4408	0.04655	211	140	49	22
813	This is not what I pictured when we said the office was pet-friendly	1.4407	0.04927	177	115	46	16
814	They want us to train them AND take them out?	1.4405	0.05184	168	111	40	17
815	I'm afraid too many of the prospects have collar-ID.	1.4405	0.05184	168	111	40	17
816	I just got a text. “Jimmy’s stuck in a well!”	1.4403	0.05614	159	109	30	20
817	Have you spoken to Jeff in HR about it? I tried but he just kept humping my leg...	1.4403	0.05094	159	102	44	13
818	I'm out. We're just chasing our tails here.	1.4402	0.04854	184	120	47	17
819	Like I told the others....keep your paws off me.	1.4402	0.04730	184	118	51	15
820	I’m an emotional support human.	1.4400	0.04967	175	114	45	16
821	Im tired of their we'll pee where we want attitude.	1.4400	0.05033	175	115	43	17
822	I feel like unless I can sit, heel, and fetch, I won't get ahead at this company.	1.4400	0.04629	200	130	52	18
823	Max is getting promoted because he has seniority in dog years.	1.4398	0.04954	191	128	42	21
824	Gimme a break. I"m only human.	1.4398	0.05159	166	109	41	16
825	'They keep asking if I need to go for a walk?'	1.4398	0.05435	166	113	33	20
826	Right, but in this world, on the internet, no one knows you are NOT a dog."	1.4398	0.05367	166	112	35	19
827	The fleas are a drag but it's totally a step up from bro culture.	1.4398	0.05229	166	110	39	17
828	No! It's your turn to throw the ball!	1.4396	0.04766	182	117	50	15
829	There's three dogs here, okay? It wasn't me!	1.4396	0.04954	182	120	44	18
830	I just don't believe they are customer service dogs.	1.4396	0.04954	182	120	44	18
831	They all use the same password - K9.	1.4396	0.04766	182	117	50	15
832	...and you should have seen them at the water cooler.	1.4395	0.05372	157	104	37	16
833	Did we miss a memo?	1.4395	0.05447	157	105	35	17
834	I you don't want to be replaced, keep throwing the ball!	1.4393	0.04940	173	112	46	15
835	You're ok. The big dog said it was a person-friendly office.	1.4393	0.04940	173	112	46	15
836	And that little one with the glasses started barking orders at me.	1.4393	0.05007	173	113	44	16
837	They work 1 hour for every 7 hours we do, but they get equal pay!	1.4392	0.04761	189	123	49	17
838	She's been surfing the Petco website so long she drooled on my keyboard!	1.4390	0.05204	164	108	40	16
839	To get ahead you have to be a real butt-sniffer around here.	1.4390	0.05131	164	107	42	15
840	They can really smell a profit.	1.4390	0.04831	164	103	50	11
841	He was barking orders and then told me to fetch coffee.	1.4390	0.05058	164	106	44	14
842	Tony, you can't refer to yourself as the Big Dog in team meetings. Know the room.	1.4389	0.04537	180	112	57	11
843	Just throw the ball and we'll grab their code.	1.4389	0.04931	180	118	45	17
844	Hey, what's you collar ID?	1.4387	0.05265	155	101	40	14
845	I'm pretty sure we're the only vegans left here	1.4386	0.04911	171	110	47	14
846	Are you going to this poker night they keep talking about?	1.4384	0.05321	146	94	40	12
847	Whose idea was it to request an unlimited supply of used tennis balls?	1.4383	0.05394	162	109	35	18
848	Their data retrieval is off-the-charts.	1.4379	0.05228	169	113	38	18
849	I am only wearing this flea collar until my shares are vested.	1.4379	0.05022	169	110	44	15
850	Are they rescues or interns?	1.4379	0.05022	169	110	44	15
851	These techies are a different breed.	1.4378	0.04648	185	118	53	14
852	My god, the typos!	1.4378	0.04894	185	122	45	18
853	So, who's this new Bitch?	1.4375	0.04649	192	124	52	16
854	Whats retirement age in dog years?	1.4375	0.05075	176	117	41	18
855	Shhh. Wanna go for a walk?	1.4375	0.04821	192	127	46	19
856	I didn't realize how boring "bring your human to work" day would be. My dog hasn't asked me to throw the ball once!	1.4375	0.05263	176	120	35	21
857	It's going to take some getting used to, having the fire hydrants inside.	1.4375	0.04945	176	115	45	16
858	Everyone is always on such a tight leash around here.	1.4372	0.04698	199	131	49	19
859	My boss is a real bitch.	1.4372	0.05053	183	123	40	20
860	You're the only guy working here who's not a complete dog.	1.4371	0.05273	167	112	37	18
861	All the adorable cat video sites are blocked	1.4368	0.04985	174	114	44	16
862	Can we switch places? He keeps leaning over and licking my face!	1.4368	0.04985	174	114	44	16
863	Its still true that on the internet nobody knows you’re a dog	1.4367	0.05269	158	104	39	15
864	Then I find out even the dogs are being paid more than me.	1.4367	0.05269	158	104	39	15
865	I’m glad I don’t have collar I.D.	1.4365	0.04971	181	120	43	18
866	Which part of "I've been working like a dog" would you say is still unclear to you Josh?	1.4365	0.04718	181	116	51	14
867	I'm really more of a cat person.	1.4365	0.04971	181	120	43	18
868	Should I be concerned this dog is searching for human shock collars?	1.4365	0.04971	181	120	43	18
869	Sure they speak, but can they kvetch?	1.4364	0.05389	165	112	34	19
870	I can’t be the only one who thinks that co-workers shouldn’t sniff each other’s butts without consent!	1.4364	0.05524	165	114	30	21
871	On the internet, they can't tell we're not dogs.	1.4364	0.05389	165	112	34	19
872	They say on the internet no one knows if you are a dog.	1.4362	0.04836	188	124	46	18
873	Okay, you win. We'll try the robots.	1.4362	0.04717	188	122	50	16
874	They will leave if you throw the ball...	1.4362	0.04836	188	124	46	18
875	What else was I suppose to do, I smelled his butt too.	1.4360	0.05290	172	117	35	20
876	Being promoted after only a year sounds fast but to him it felt like seven.	1.4360	0.04819	172	110	49	13
877	Just throw the ball!	1.4360	0.05026	172	113	43	16
878	When they said I'd be working with canines, I thought I would be studying dentistry.	1.4359	0.04654	195	127	51	17
879	I know! It feels like we’ve been chasing our tails all day!	1.4359	0.04767	195	129	47	19
880	He pawed me and then tried to mount my leg.	1.4358	0.05135	179	121	38	20
881	I guess Trump didn't think of how severely his mass-deportation proposal would affect call centers...	1.4358	0.04884	179	117	46	16
882	I thought "telebarketer" was a typo, didn't you?	1.4356	0.05151	163	107	41	15
883	Yeah, well, at least they're all Democrats	1.4355	0.05049	186	126	39	21
884	Things have really changed around here since we got that Alpo account.	1.4353	0.05068	170	112	42	16
885	He sniffed my butt! I'm pretty sure that qualifies as sexual harassment, especially at this company!	1.4353	0.05270	170	115	36	19
886	This is the third time today Steve has asked me to go on a walk with him. Do you think he's trying to flirt with me?	1.4350	0.05115	177	119	39	19
887	I told him three different times that I didn't want to go on a walk with him. You need to talk to him, Peter — he's your best friend.	1.4348	0.05271	161	107	38	16
888	If I hear "Who's a good boy" one more time.	1.4348	0.05271	161	107	38	16
889	I don't think the company fully understands what service dogs are used for.	1.4343	0.04760	175	112	50	13
890	Should I report any nuzzling, panting or licking as harassment?	1.4343	0.04896	175	114	46	15
891	Look, all I'm saying is that just because my lunch was in a doggy bag, doesn't mean it was up for grabs.	1.4343	0.04829	175	113	48	14
892	They told me I was going to have to be a real bitch to fit in on Wall Street but I didn’t think they were serious!	1.4341	0.04597	205	135	51	19
893	I think petting them will get you in a lot of trouble!	1.4340	0.05318	159	106	37	16
894	I know! But on the Internet no one knows they’re dogs	1.4340	0.05166	159	104	41	14
895	...and the HR poodle doesn't grasp why I find their way of greeting me offensive.	1.4340	0.04848	159	100	49	10
896	In a call center, nobody knows you’re human.	1.4339	0.04758	189	124	48	17
897	And then he said 'Oh,I didn't realize that was your kibble in the fridge.'	1.4337	0.05154	166	110	40	16
898	If they had their way, they'd fetch and retrieve data all day long!	1.4337	0.04636	196	128	51	17
899	Because a cat would eat the computer mouse.	1.4336	0.05486	143	94	36	13
900	They are out selling us. Throw the ball!	1.4335	0.05328	173	119	33	21
901	Karen? Yeah, she’s definitely a bitch.	1.4333	0.05232	180	124	34	22
902	He gets his bowl at the table but I can't take a smoke break.	1.4333	0.04799	180	117	48	15
903	I guess they do dog obedience school online now.	1.4333	0.05051	180	121	40	19
904	I thought interns were supposed to be good at fetching things.	1.4333	0.05172	180	123	36	21
905	One day they're playing poker, next day we're out of a job.	1.4333	0.04799	180	117	48	15
906	Are you sure the password is "woof?"	1.4331	0.05213	157	103	40	14
907	Can you believe all the butt sniffing and tail wagging around here?	1.4331	0.05290	157	104	38	15
908	Okay, yes, the treats in the break room are paleo now, but why do we have to pee outside?	1.4330	0.04782	194	129	46	19
909	When they said this was a human-friendly workplace, I should have asked more questions.	1.4329	0.05199	164	109	39	16
910	Believe it or not, incidents of crotch sniffing have actually gone down.	1.4329	0.05547	164	114	29	21
911	I don't have any proof, but I'd swear they were cheating at the poker game last night.	1.4329	0.04979	164	106	45	13
912	He thinks I can't hear that high-frequency podcast, but I can - and, it's FILTHY!	1.4327	0.04976	171	112	44	15
913	The management says they spend less time on Facebook.	1.4327	0.04599	208	138	50	20
914	It took forever just to get him to sit	1.4326	0.04966	178	118	43	17
915	The supervisor has been sniffing around me again.	1.4326	0.05092	178	120	39	19
916	... so I said, 'sure, Bring Your Human To Work Day sounds like fun'	1.4326	0.04836	178	116	47	15
917	Yes, their language training is showing progress, but have you visited the restrooms lately?!	1.4324	0.04950	185	124	42	19
918	And at break they'll want to "Get to know you by scent". At least you're not wearing a dress.	1.4324	0.05067	185	126	38	21
919	Is it normal that my coworker tried to sniff my butt?	1.4324	0.04950	185	124	42	19
920	Don't worry, Jim. Just tell the boss that the dogs ate your project report.	1.4324	0.04890	185	123	44	18
921	Frisbees, squirrels, mailmen, open car windows - do you understand this video game?	1.4322	0.04585	199	130	52	17
922	I don’t understand a word they growl, but they really move product.	1.4320	0.04802	169	108	49	12
923	If you want to keep your job here at PETA, you better tell HR you're adopted.	1.4320	0.05017	169	111	43	15
924	I can't believe it. These guys just show up nude EVERY day!	1.4318	0.04807	176	114	48	14
925	How should I know? I'm a temp too...	1.4317	0.04805	183	120	47	16
926	You become a dog after you say ‘Your call is really important to us’ the one-millionth time.	1.4316	0.04738	190	125	48	17
927	I can deal with the constant barking, but have you seen the bathrooms?	1.4314	0.05308	153	101	38	14
928	He won't even shake hands.	1.4310	0.04776	174	112	49	13
929	I wouldn't worry about the boss—his bark is much worse than his bite.	1.4309	0.04967	181	121	42	18
930	Did you take my stress ball?	1.4309	0.04905	181	120	44	17
931	They're only colleagues, Jake, not your new "best friends."	1.4309	0.04713	188	123	49	16
932	We'd get a lot more done if they's quit prank-calling so many cats.	1.4304	0.05340	158	106	36	16
933	Who keeps sending me this poodle porn?	1.4304	0.05264	158	105	38	15
934	On the plus side, we get free vet care after 7 dog years.	1.4303	0.05315	165	112	35	18
935	Why do we always have to sit next to the sub-woofers?	1.4302	0.05021	172	114	42	16
936	I asked them to leave but they insist they're search dogs.	1.4302	0.05192	179	123	35	21
937	Are you a "Service Human" too?	1.4302	0.05007	179	120	41	18
938	Don't get me wrong, the all-species fire hydrant is really inclusive but I think we need our own bathroom.	1.4302	0.04750	179	116	49	14
939	I don’t understand why she had to bark at me like that. How was I supposed to know they broke up?	1.4301	0.04869	186	124	44	18
940	When did IT block cat videos?	1.4301	0.04497	186	118	56	12
941	It’s like we read in The New Yorker over a decade ago, “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog”.	1.4301	0.04749	186	122	48	16
942	No need to bark at me, just use your regular speaking voice.	1.4301	0.04749	186	122	48	16
943	They're all bark. Gary doesn't even know what a byte is.	1.4301	0.05018	193	133	37	23
944	And we worried that we could be replaced by robots.	1.4295	0.05492	149	100	34	15
945	I don't care that they're dogs, but they're Republicans!	1.4295	0.05540	156	107	31	18
946	Did you see what Max did when the mail came?	1.4294	0.05220	163	109	38	16
947	Alright, they can stay, but you're walking them.	1.4294	0.05146	163	108	40	15
948	He smelled my butt too.	1.4294	0.05072	163	107	42	14
949	Just watch how productivity drops when you pull up a cat video.	1.4294	0.05063	170	113	41	16
950	It's not a bad job but it's fetch this, fetch that; or yes, who's a good boy.	1.4294	0.05048	177	119	40	18
951	Why the sudden ban on watching cat videos?	1.4294	0.04984	177	118	42	17
952	They've been fetching data all day.	1.4293	0.04463	184	116	57	11
953	"You want your ball back, you're going to have to get it yourself.	1.4293	0.04540	191	123	54	14
954	The boss keeps all the new employees on a short leash.	1.4286	0.04448	189	120	57	12
955	These new hires are such brown-nosers!	1.4286	0.05153	175	119	37	19
956	Sure they’re cute, but you’re looking at your replacement. They’re friendly and loyal and will work for table scraps.	1.4286	0.05259	189	134	29	26
957	Oh, pleeease. Don't even try to blame the dog!	1.4286	0.05311	168	115	34	19
958	If you want someone to fetch you coffee, I suggest you ask one of your new best friends.	1.4286	0.04946	182	122	42	18
959	What should I do ? This Great Dane next to me just emailed and asked if I wanted to go out for a bite.	1.4286	0.05378	168	116	32	20
960	I hate this place and all the buttsniffers who work here.	1.4286	0.04946	182	122	42	18
961	Psst, they're sending each other videos of humans doing regular everyday activities.	1.4286	0.04824	175	114	47	14
962	They aren’t following the commands.	1.4286	0.04459	196	126	56	14
963	Fetch me a file! Fetch me a file!! Are they kidding?	1.4286	0.04495	182	115	56	11
964	Do you think we have to pee outside too?	1.4286	0.05216	175	120	35	20
965	Who's George Orwell?	1.4278	0.05050	194	135	35	24
966	So how did you remove your shock collar?	1.4278	0.04794	180	118	47	15
967	I thought "on the Internet, no one knows you're a dog" was just a meme.	1.4278	0.05108	180	123	37	20
968	Did you take my squeakie toy?	1.4277	0.05150	166	111	39	16
969	Don't worry; on the Internet, nobody knows you're not a dog!	1.4277	0.05493	166	116	29	21
970	You're also here for 'Bring Your Human to Work Day'?	1.4277	0.04932	166	108	45	13
971	I guess it's true. On the internet, no one really does know you're a dog.	1.4277	0.04932	166	108	45	13
972	It’s embarrassing, dad keeps promoting other family members ahead of us.	1.4277	0.05426	166	115	31	20
973	Trust me--don't do it. You won't believe what they did to the last whistleblower.	1.4277	0.05238	159	106	38	15
974	There's no way we're in the running for "Good Boy of the Month".	1.4276	0.05411	152	102	35	15
975	He’s growling because the Google image results for ‘hot dog’ weren’t quite what he wanted.	1.4276	0.05769	145	100	28	17
976	Resistance meeting tonight. 8pm. Former Hello Kitty store.	1.4271	0.04926	192	131	40	21
977	Do we get walk breaks too?	1.4271	0.04582	192	125	52	15
978	We flattered ourselves worrying about robots.	1.4270	0.05178	185	129	33	23
979	I never thought I would have to walk my co-workers!	1.4270	0.04764	185	122	47	16
980	So it's not just an expression, to work like a dog?	1.4270	0.04766	178	116	48	14
981	Remember that New Yorker cartoon, "On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog"... well, here we are!	1.4270	0.05211	178	123	34	21
982	This is turning into an HR nightmare. He won't stop marking "his" computer.	1.4269	0.04901	171	112	45	14
983	The big fella next to me is really into cat videos.	1.4269	0.05497	171	121	27	23
984	Just when I mastered Pekingese, I got a guy who speaks Poodle.	1.4268	0.05194	164	110	38	16
985	Corporate likes them because they’ll work overtime for an ear scratch and a “Good Dog”.	1.4263	0.04792	190	127	45	18
986	Diversity hiring has gone too far.	1.4263	0.04907	190	129	41	20
987	I've had it! I can't stand everyone barking at me all day.	1.4262	0.05104	183	126	36	21
988	Just read the updated LGBTQK9-Inclusive Workplace Policy.	1.4261	0.04936	176	117	43	16
989	All the hot leads went to young retrievers and Power pointers.	1.4260	0.04870	169	110	46	13
990	Are you getting a lot of pop-ups for bacon?	1.4260	0.05151	169	114	38	17
991	I thought robots were going to replace us.	1.4260	0.05151	169	114	38	17
992	Can we talk, you know . . . person to person?	1.4259	0.05313	162	110	35	17
993	That's not what I meant when I said it was going to be a three dog night!	1.4259	0.05240	162	109	37	16
994	Well, I can learn new tricks TOO!	1.4258	0.05009	155	100	44	11
995	I mean, I like the pay and the benefits, but what's with the fire hydrants in the restroom?	1.4255	0.04461	188	120	56	12
996	The boss has been barkin' orders at me all day.	1.4255	0.04709	188	124	48	16
997	I don't care that no one knows they're dogs, I know they're dogs!	1.4255	0.04828	188	126	44	18
998	And you say I’m the bitch here?	1.4254	0.05145	181	125	35	21
999	Have you ever got an invite to their after-work poker games?	1.4254	0.04901	181	121	43	17
1000	I'm worried that I don't fit in here	1.4254	0.04901	181	121	43	17
1001	They are trying to prove that on the Internet no one knows you're a dog.	1.4253	0.04909	174	115	44	15
1002	I can only imagine what they licked to get transferred up here.	1.4251	0.05125	167	112	39	16
1003	I received an HR notification that said, "No leg humping."	1.4250	0.05212	160	107	38	15
1004	I said they have a pedigree not a phd!	1.4250	0.04563	200	132	51	17
1005	They got a contract to map the location of the city's fire hydrants.	1.4248	0.05138	153	100	41	12
1006	I liked it better when the robots were going to take our jobs.	1.4247	0.04557	186	120	53	13
1007	Stop saying, ‘Good girl, good girl’!	1.4245	0.04530	212	142	50	20
1008	First, we pick-up their poo and now, they're coming after our jobs!	1.4244	0.04809	172	112	47	13
1009	He's sniffing me again.	1.4242	0.04950	165	108	44	13
1010	He just asked me to be his bitch!	1.4239	0.04903	184	124	42	18
1011	Not only did he drop the ball, but he can't keep his paws off me.	1.4239	0.05022	184	126	38	20
1012	I had to file another report with HR this morning after Larry started sniffing everyone's butts again.	1.4239	0.04842	184	123	44	17
1013	They sure weren't kidding about equal opportunity	1.4239	0.04780	184	122	46	16
1014	I taught Buddy how to log on, and now he and his friends watch cat videos all day!	1.4237	0.05230	177	123	33	21
1015	They're Mac Labs.	1.4235	0.04919	170	112	44	14
1016	Not thinking this is what 'Computer Labs' meant	1.4235	0.05261	170	117	34	19
1017	When did "Bring your dog to work" turn into "Bring your dog, to work"?	1.4235	0.05127	170	115	38	17
1018	A Dachshund was sitting here before me. You would not believe the websites he was viewing.	1.4233	0.05286	163	111	35	17
1019	At least they're not pigs like the last guys...	1.4233	0.05141	163	109	39	15
1020	They're used to being tied up all day.	1.4233	0.05067	163	108	41	14
1021	...yet they still insist on drinking water from the toilet bowl.	1.4231	0.05148	156	103	40	13
1022	I just don't think it's fair that their lunch break is seven times as long.	1.4228	0.05568	149	102	31	16
1023	They applied via the Internet. I didn't know they were dogs.	1.4225	0.04962	187	128	39	20
1024	Seriously, Brad? The password for every computer is "boner"?	1.4222	0.05283	180	127	30	23
1025	And my mouse -- it's an actual mouse!	1.4222	0.05042	180	123	38	19
1026	If one more new hire sniffs my crotch, I'm calling animal control!	1.4222	0.05042	180	123	38	19
1027	I fetched the report last time; it's your turn.	1.4221	0.04856	154	98	47	9
1028	And I hear someone named Rex is replacing Ruth in accounting!	1.4220	0.04857	173	114	45	14
1029	I can handle their attitude. Just spare me the dogsplaining!	1.4220	0.05060	173	117	39	17
1030	And now if I complain about anything I just sound like a whiny bitch.	1.4219	0.05031	192	134	35	23
1031	Our jobs are safe- most callers still prefer to talk to a human being.	1.4216	0.04821	185	124	44	17
1032	Now we know who's watching all those cat videos...	1.4213	0.05083	178	122	37	19
1033	Yes, but last Summer's interns never humped my leg!	1.4213	0.04665	197	132	47	18
1034	I'm all for non-discrimination in hiring, but have you seen the bathroom lately?	1.4211	0.05035	171	115	40	16
1035	Who logged the dogs out?	1.4211	0.05072	152	99	42	11
1036	I think the one with glasses is a rescue.	1.4211	0.04606	171	109	52	10
1037	I put my yogurt in the fridge with my name on it, and he eats it anyway.	1.4211	0.04825	171	112	46	13
1038	Doesn't it feel like we should be taking the lead here?	1.4208	0.04919	183	124	41	18
1039	They want gender neutral fire hydrants.	1.4205	0.04699	195	131	46	18
1040	This test is biased. How am I supposed to know the best diet for a shiny coat?	1.4205	0.04931	176	118	42	16
1041	He isn’t a good boy when he steals my sales leads.	1.4205	0.04931	176	118	42	16
1042	By the way, the bathrooms are mammal specific.	1.4204	0.05122	157	104	40	13
1043	I'm just getting tired of always having to fetch them things	1.4204	0.04960	157	102	44	11
1044	This caller only wants to get tech support from a purebred. Can I transfer her to Fluffy?	1.4202	0.04998	188	130	37	21
1045	How come we don't get to go for a walk	1.4202	0.04882	188	128	41	19
1046	He called me the B word.	1.4201	0.05412	169	119	29	21
1047	Where is the ladies hydrant?	1.4201	0.05077	169	114	39	16
1048	'Now they'll expect us to work like dogs too!'	1.4201	0.04864	169	111	45	13
1049	And they spend all day playing poker.	1.4201	0.05146	169	115	37	17
1050	I'm tired of them barking orders at me.	1.4200	0.05205	150	99	39	12
1051	What kind of best friend steals your other friends' jobs?	1.4195	0.04835	174	115	45	14
1052	The Retrievers are great on info research but the Toys can't seem to focus.	1.4195	0.04835	174	115	45	14
1053	I know, but they have great instincts.	1.4194	0.05086	155	102	41	12
1054	All they do is stream cat videos all day!	1.4194	0.05037	186	129	36	21
1055	Our co-workers can be real bitches.	1.4194	0.04739	186	124	46	16
1056	I think it’s time we ask about the elephant in the room.	1.4192	0.04754	167	108	48	11
1057	Walk to the end and turn right, and you’ll see the pole.	1.4190	0.04934	179	121	41	17
1058	They can't just play dead everytime we try to confront them.	1.4190	0.04870	179	120	43	16
1059	I just feel that you and I are kept on a shorter leash.	1.4190	0.04805	179	119	45	15
1060	I don't think it's coffee breath.	1.4188	0.05048	191	134	34	23
1061	Have you ever worked with such a pack of whiners?	1.4187	0.05281	160	109	35	16
1062	Hey, how come the annual reports all need to show the last 7 years?	1.4186	0.04943	172	115	42	15
1063	And they even got a hydrant in the bathroom.	1.4186	0.04943	172	115	42	15
1064	Doesn’t anyone play outside anymore?	1.4185	0.04712	184	122	47	15
1065	How can we compete with these new interns? Some of them are actually BRED to program software!	1.4185	0.04453	184	118	55	11
1066	Psst! I thought we are supposed to be replaced by machines.	1.4185	0.04958	184	126	39	19
1067	Silly me, I was worried about robots.	1.4185	0.04837	184	124	43	17
1068	Then he said "..on the Internet nobody knows you're a person! "	1.4185	0.04837	184	124	43	17
1069	If they want to go out for dog food again let's not go. What do you say?	1.4183	0.05214	153	102	38	13
1070	Even though I wrote my name clearly on the half sandwich, the big one ate it anyway!	1.4182	0.05091	165	111	39	15
1071	All the girls here are bitches.	1.4182	0.05305	165	114	33	18
1072	Whistling in here can be taken the wrong way.	1.4182	0.04944	165	109	43	13
1073	If I have to affirm "Who's a good boy" one more time, I'm finding a new coworking environment.	1.4181	0.05038	177	121	38	18
1074	How much were u paid to take the test for the poodle?	1.4181	0.05287	177	125	30	22
1075	Like I told you, our new boss is keeping everyone around here on a short leash.	1.4180	0.04563	189	124	51	14
1076	Maybe if you rang the doorbell?	1.4176	0.05321	170	119	31	20
1077	They'll sit for hours once they've walked around in a circle three times.	1.4176	0.05053	170	115	39	16
1078	Whatever you do, don't tweet "Who's a good boy?"	1.4171	0.05014	175	119	39	17
1079	No, Todd, there's not such thing as a 401K-9 match plan!	1.4171	0.04881	175	117	43	15
1080	Can't we complain that pooping on the floor and growling create a hostile work environment?	1.4171	0.04881	175	117	43	15
1081	The customers keep telling me they don't understand my accent!	1.4171	0.04596	187	123	50	14
1082	They don't fetch anymore, they just reorder!	1.4167	0.04975	180	123	39	18
1083	Have you seen the way Dave stares at me while I'm eating? I went to human resources, but they said it wasn't their department.	1.4167	0.04975	180	123	39	18
1084	Doesn’t this library have anything besides cat videos?	1.4167	0.04953	168	112	42	14
1085	Do you feel tech is hiring younger and younger these days? The girl right next to me is two.	1.4167	0.05377	156	107	33	16
1086	On the other hand, they aren’t acting the least bit catty.	1.4162	0.04936	185	127	39	19
1087	Carl has been looking at cat videos all morning.	1.4162	0.04936	185	127	39	19
1088	So, you coming to poker night?	1.4162	0.04711	173	113	48	12
1089	On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.	1.4162	0.04851	173	115	44	14
1090	They keep saying pound instead of hashtag	1.4161	0.04950	161	106	43	12
1091	It's better than the rat race, but not by much.	1.4157	0.04620	178	116	50	12
1092	This isn't what I meant when I said we should visit the Computer Labs.	1.4157	0.04887	178	120	42	16
1093	I just wish Milo didn't pee every time he got a sale.	1.4157	0.05209	166	114	35	17
1094	Some crazy tax credit for hiring rescue dogs.	1.4157	0.04921	166	110	43	13
1095	I just wish they would drink from the water cooler.	1.4157	0.04994	166	111	41	14
1096	They are supposed to be taking online obedience classes but they're playing video poker instead.	1.4154	0.04860	195	135	39	21
1097	They're not that helpful, but people seem to love them.	1.4153	0.04664	183	121	48	14
1098	Have you been invited to the poker game?	1.4153	0.04791	183	123	44	16
1099	Stop eating burritos and stop blaming the dogs."	1.4153	0.04975	183	126	38	19
1100	Since the buyout, we've only been paid in Kibbles 'n Bitcoin.	1.4152	0.05029	171	116	39	16
1101	Emotional support meets customer support.	1.4152	0.05230	171	119	33	19
1102	When you said we would be "working like dogs" I thought you meant it as an expression.	1.4152	0.05097	171	117	37	17
1103	The guy next to me watches cat videos on YouTube all day!	1.4151	0.05449	159	111	30	18
1104	The bugs in this computer turned out to be fleas.	1.4148	0.05056	176	121	37	18
1105	I just don’t think they should get any credit if all they do is watch cat videos.	1.4148	0.05119	176	122	35	19
1106	Figures. They just made the Golden Retriever Executive Director.	1.4146	0.04962	164	109	42	13
1107	What should I do? He double dog dared me!	1.4144	0.04633	181	119	49	13
1108	Fluffy told me that the new boss’s bark is way worse than his bite.	1.4144	0.04953	181	124	39	18
1109	It’s fine. But then they ought to be wearing pants.	1.4144	0.04891	181	123	41	17
1110	All they ever do is play online poker.	1.4144	0.04891	181	123	41	17
1111	No, you fetch it!	1.4142	0.05001	169	114	40	15
1112	Not to be judgy, but they seem to have an unhealthy obsession with squirrel videos.	1.4142	0.04930	169	113	42	14
1113	Wait, so they actually want me to drop the ball?	1.4141	0.04642	198	134	46	18
1114	And they get 14-weeks paid vacation in dog years!	1.4140	0.05273	157	107	35	15
1115	The Russians were just a cover--it was the dogs the entire time...	1.4138	0.05289	174	123	30	21
1116	I was hoping to be replaced by a robot.	1.4138	0.04690	174	114	48	12
1117	I'm telling you, it's a frickin' goat.	1.4138	0.05162	174	121	34	19
1118	What's weird is all 3 of them are playing Sudoku.	1.4136	0.04705	191	129	45	17
1119	Come on, it's your turn to shout "walkies" at the top of your voice	1.4136	0.05228	162	111	35	16
1120	And all along I thought we'd be replaced by robots!	1.4134	0.04800	179	120	44	15
1121	When they said this is a 'K-9 school,' I thought they meant kindergarten through ninth grade.	1.4133	0.04730	196	134	43	19
1122	I wish Tina would stop being such a bitch.	1.4133	0.04785	196	135	41	20
1123	At least they don't let the ball drop.	1.4132	0.05114	167	114	37	16
1124	I'm trying to work here and this dude next to me is watching cat porn!	1.4132	0.05388	167	118	29	20
1125	I feel like yelling, "Who wants to go for a walk!"	1.4132	0.05043	167	113	39	15
1126	It's sad to see; they hardly go outside or socialize in a real setting anymore.	1.4130	0.04770	184	124	44	16
1127	If they forward one more cute puppy video, I'm gonna scream.	1.4130	0.04579	184	121	50	13
1128	You should've checked to see if the previous user marked his territory.	1.4129	0.05241	155	105	36	14
1129	Do you think we'll ever be invited to their after-work poker game?	1.4129	0.05552	155	109	28	18
1130	Karen from HR is a bitch	1.4128	0.05073	172	118	37	17
1131	Who knew 'support animal' would become such a thing?	1.4128	0.05073	172	118	37	17
1132	Finally, a real person	1.4128	0.05205	172	120	33	19
1133	You really can't get ahead here unless you sniff a lot of butts.	1.4125	0.05275	160	110	34	16
1134	I feel like, since we CAN speak, we SHOULD speak.	1.4124	0.04493	177	114	53	10
1135	I'm not using that fire hydrant.	1.4124	0.04564	177	115	51	11
1136	Do you also get the feeling that all the call-ins from cats are being forwarded to us?	1.4124	0.04770	177	118	45	14
1137	First, they make us work like them, but now we have to work with them?	1.4124	0.04770	177	118	45	14
1138	How was I supposed to know the head of HR was just neutered?	1.4124	0.04821	194	134	40	20
1139	He's just on PetMD all day, looking up hip dysplasia and anal gland expression!	1.4121	0.05229	165	114	34	17
1140	They retrieve data ‘til they drop!	1.4121	0.04992	182	126	37	19
1141	AND that's the third time I've complained about the sniffing	1.4118	0.04461	170	108	54	8
1142	I can't stand working with these bitches.	1.4118	0.04775	187	127	43	17
1143	This "service dog" thing has gotten way out of hand!	1.4115	0.04743	192	131	43	18
1144	Is it me or are the new interns' emails unintelligible?	1.4114	0.04808	175	117	44	14
1145	I liked it better when we didn't know who we were chatting with.	1.4114	0.04875	175	118	42	15
1146	YOU go fetch!	1.4110	0.05129	163	111	37	15
1147	How can I unfriend them when they profess to be my best friend?	1.4110	0.04665	163	105	49	9
1148	Be careful. Compared to us, they'll work for literally kibbles on the dollar.	1.4108	0.04560	185	122	50	13
1149	You should see what they’ve done to the water cooler!	1.4108	0.04749	185	125	44	16
1150	I feel like I’m W-A-L-K-ing on eggshells around here...	1.4108	0.04871	185	127	40	18
1151	I don't believe they're really service animals.	1.4107	0.04801	168	111	45	12
1152	It’s not fair — our probation period is seven times as long as theirs.	1.4107	0.04801	168	111	45	12
1153	and we were worried about robots taking over	1.4105	0.04778	190	130	42	18
1154	The rumors are true. This place has gone to the dogs.	1.4105	0.04893	190	132	38	20
1155	At this rate I'll never make "Good Boy of the Month".	1.4105	0.04600	190	127	48	15
1156	Working together is okay, but lunch and bathroom breaks are bad news.	1.4105	0.04719	190	129	44	17
1157	"He keeps mumbling 'Is that supposed to be cute?' at every cat video!"	1.4104	0.04914	173	117	41	15
1158	I keep getting man's best friend requests.	1.4104	0.04845	173	116	43	14
1159	I overheard one of them suggesting our company softball team be replaced with ultimate frisbee.	1.4104	0.04776	173	115	45	13
1160	Do you want to go for a Dubya-Ay-El-K?	1.4104	0.04982	173	118	39	16
1161	But we can't eat at our desks?	1.4103	0.04971	156	103	42	11
1162	I thought we weren't allowed to eat at our desks.	1.4101	0.04749	178	119	45	14
1163	You gotta go out? Want to go for a walk?	1.4101	0.04881	178	121	41	16
1164	Is the password "bow wow" or "woof woof"?	1.4101	0.04682	178	118	47	13
1165	Oh, so Lucky can eat at his desk, but we have to go to the cafeteria?	1.4101	0.04881	178	121	41	16
1166	I just don't feel we're part of the pack here."	1.4099	0.05021	161	108	40	13
1167	Yes I know, they can hear things that we do not!!	1.4096	0.05203	166	115	34	17
1168	I feel like we’re the only ones who aren’t incredibly loyal to this company!	1.4096	0.04763	166	109	46	11
1169	They don't need a green card and work for kibble.	1.4096	0.05061	166	113	38	15
1170	The caller wants to lick my face. I think I’ll transfer him to my supervisor.	1.4096	0.04754	188	128	43	17
1171	Your turn to remind them that the ‘brief survey at the end of the call’ is not ‘who’s a good boy?’	1.4094	0.04954	171	116	40	15
1172	On the internet, nobody knows that they’re dogs.	1.4094	0.05091	171	118	36	17
1173	Believe me, if you want to get promoted around here, you have to be willing to chase balls after work.	1.4094	0.04954	171	116	40	15
1174	I'm delegating tasks to Rosco, but he's just giving them right back to me.	1.4091	0.05050	176	122	36	18
1175	This is not what I meant by doing it doggy style!	1.4091	0.05575	154	109	27	18
1176	Remember when it was just "bring your dog to work?"	1.4091	0.04853	176	119	42	15
1177	Look, if you want to do well here you have to work like a dog.	1.4091	0.04853	176	119	42	15
1178	I don't get it. We can't get cigarette breaks, but there always seems to be time for chasing tennis balls.	1.4088	0.04985	159	106	41	12
1179	They were cuter playing poker.	1.4088	0.05369	159	111	31	17
1180	I have to go and I'm out of bags - do you have any?	1.4088	0.05219	159	109	35	15
1181	My medical benefit is for a veterinarian and an animal hospital.	1.4088	0.05219	159	109	35	15
1182	Well you know what? I wouldn’t mind, but they make more than I do.	1.4086	0.04850	186	128	40	18
1183	How's life been T-R-E-A-T-ing you?	1.4086	0.05141	186	133	30	23
1184	He's brought the same thing for lunch every day for two years.	1.4085	0.05104	164	112	37	15
1185	They're getting better reviews than us for friendliness.	1.4085	0.05176	164	113	35	16
1186	It has reduced the gossiping, but the panting is still annoying.	1.4082	0.04499	196	131	50	15
1187	It's like they're obsessed with cat videos.	1.4080	0.04612	174	114	49	11
1188	They've got a combined 140 years of experience.	1.4078	0.04728	179	120	45	14
1189	Teach them to not just play with a mouse, you said. What could go wrong, you said.	1.4078	0.04794	179	121	43	15
1190	The Best In Show fantasy league just launched.	1.4078	0.05049	179	125	35	19
1191	It just feels different when they call me a bitch.	1.4078	0.04987	179	124	37	18
1192	Looks like we're in for a three-dog night.	1.4078	0.05049	179	125	35	19
1193	It started as a dog-friendly policy.	1.4078	0.04923	179	123	39	17
1194	Bring your pet to work day is getting out of hand.	1.4076	0.05108	157	106	38	13
1195	It was fine with me when all they could do was shake hands and fetch!	1.4074	0.04919	162	108	42	12
1196	And we thought computers would replace us.	1.4074	0.04966	189	133	35	21
1197	Did you bring any plastic bags?	1.4074	0.05148	162	111	36	15
1198	They are better at programming since they don't get distracted with internet porn.	1.4074	0.04734	189	129	43	17
1199	They're guide dogs for the technology impaired	1.4072	0.05177	167	116	34	17
1200	I'm not sure hiring domesticated talent is any better than recruiting internationally.	1.4072	0.04964	167	113	40	14
1201	I objected, but he STILL gave them security clearances.	1.4072	0.05107	167	115	36	16
1202	This explains the Frisbee yard.	1.4070	0.04507	199	134	49	16
1203	And people worry about their jobs being replaced by robots!	1.4070	0.05134	172	120	34	18
1204	Do sick days roll over as well?	1.4068	0.04764	177	119	44	14
1205	They gave me a raise,but it was just more tennis balls	1.4066	0.04607	182	121	48	13
1206	My main complaint is there are no more vegan choices in the cafeteria!	1.4066	0.04672	182	122	46	14
1207	You didn't tell me "computer lab" had a different connotation in the west.	1.4066	0.04863	182	125	40	17
1208	Told you we needed a union	1.4066	0.04863	182	125	40	17
1209	Can you believe it? His userid is "Getthefuckoffthecouch"	1.4065	0.05767	155	113	21	21
1210	You think you know your coworkers, but then the full moon comes out and BOOM!	1.4064	0.04458	187	123	52	12
1211	Are we the only two in this callcenter that speak English?	1.4062	0.04851	192	134	38	20
1212	...And they are so happy to please the customers!	1.4062	0.04632	160	103	49	8
1213	Now our call-ins are asking to speak to an American dog.	1.4062	0.04621	192	130	46	16
1214	The headphones aren't helping. I can still hear 'Who Let the Dogs Out.'	1.4061	0.05151	165	114	35	16
1215	We can't leave the building to have a cigarette but these guys get to go out anytime they want to poop. How is that fair?"	1.4061	0.04779	165	109	45	11
1216	No one knows I'm a person.	1.4059	0.05310	170	121	29	20
1217	Rocco just licked himself again. That does it, I'm requesting a transfer to the sporting group.	1.4057	0.05132	175	123	33	19
1218	Are they watching cat videos on your side too?	1.4057	0.04732	175	117	45	13
1219	It’s a little disappointing. I was kinda counting on being replaced by a robot.	1.4056	0.05026	180	126	35	19
1220	Yeah, so I rolled around in something dead. Do you think I want to work in customer service forever?	1.4056	0.04707	180	121	45	14
1221	Sure, they get paid in kibble and tennis balls, but it still adds up to more than I make a year.	1.4056	0.05026	180	126	35	19
1222	I hear corporate is throwing a ball for employees.	1.4056	0.05026	180	126	35	19
1223	Can’t you just use one of the fire hydrants out back?	1.4054	0.04356	185	120	55	10
1224	This rabies test is HARD!	1.4052	0.05521	153	108	28	17
1225	I heard Droolius Caesar over there humped quite a few legs to get the promotion.	1.4050	0.04654	200	138	43	19
1226	I told you we'd be out of our jobs once we trained them.	1.4049	0.04895	163	109	42	12
1227	I swear, all men are dogs	1.4048	0.05012	168	115	38	15
1228	Remember. They're not dogs. They're canine interpretive specialists.	1.4048	0.04719	168	111	46	11
1229	Well, I guess we don't have to worry about losing our jobs to robots.	1.4048	0.04643	168	110	48	10
1230	Don't you just hate "bring your human to work days?"	1.4046	0.05109	173	121	34	18
1231	I heard they are going to ask for praise.	1.4045	0.04676	178	119	46	13
1232	Now that they've shifted from barking to cyber stalking, I get a lot more work done."	1.4045	0.04743	178	120	44	14
1233	Ew, gross. I didn't know Tinder for dogs would be all butt photos.	1.4044	0.04716	183	124	44	15
1234	They are the teacher's pets.	1.4044	0.05024	183	129	34	20
1235	They're playing poker!"	1.4043	0.04749	188	129	42	17
1236	Silicon Valley is such a good boy's club!	1.4041	0.04886	193	136	36	21
1237	The stench is awful, but they're the best at tracking the orders.	1.4041	0.04236	193	125	58	10
1238	Apparently nobody knows "who's a good boy?"	1.4041	0.05716	146	104	25	17
1239	But it's not fair that they get an extra break to go for a walk.	1.4037	0.05166	161	111	35	15
1240	I’m all for equality, but I’m out of here as soon as they replace our water cooler with a giant bowl.”	1.4037	0.05014	161	109	39	13
1241	I liked it better before the border was closed.	1.4037	0.05166	161	111	35	15
1242	You can’t just call someone a “good boy.” This is a serious place of business.	1.4036	0.04907	166	112	41	13
1243	He keeps licking himself down there!	1.4035	0.05017	171	118	37	16
1244	I keep telling them aspca.org is not a dating site.	1.4035	0.04878	171	116	41	14
1245	I thought robots were supposed to replace us.	1.4034	0.04913	176	121	39	16
1246	Cat videos	1.4034	0.04913	176	121	39	16
1247	What is 'Accept Biscuits'	1.4033	0.05003	181	127	35	19
1248	They're trying to devalue the pound	1.4033	0.04816	181	124	41	16
1249	On the Internet, nobody knows you aren't a dog.	1.4033	0.04816	181	124	41	16
1250	Whose turn is it to take them for a walk ?	1.4033	0.04752	181	123	43	15
1251	They still don't know they're dogs.	1.4032	0.04598	186	125	47	14
1252	Just tell him he's a good boy	1.4030	0.04415	201	135	51	15
1253	If I don’t change out of my work clothes before I go home, my cat won’t come out of the bedroom.	1.4030	0.04581	201	138	45	18
1254	I don't care what the new rule says. I'm not giving up petting.	1.4026	0.05254	154	106	34	14
1255	This is what 'we do not outsource to a foreign country' means.	1.4026	0.05334	154	107	32	15
1256	Working like a dog. Who knew they were serious...	1.4024	0.05170	164	114	34	16
1257	Don't worry-- on the internet, nobody will know we're human.	1.4024	0.05241	164	115	32	17
1258	They catch viruses that we don't	1.4024	0.04988	169	116	38	15
1259	I taught them to talk; You walk them!	1.4024	0.04845	169	114	42	13
1260	Did you see the fire hydrant in the break room? This shared workspace thing is really catching on.	1.4023	0.04817	174	118	42	14
1261	You said this job would be "a walk in the park!"	1.4023	0.04747	174	117	44	13
1262	And now I have to take a month-long diversity course - for sharing ONE cute puppy video!	1.4023	0.04953	174	120	38	16
1263	You really did mean "a bitch session"	1.4023	0.04885	174	119	40	15
1264	I think that guy is watching kittie-porn.	1.4023	0.04953	174	120	38	16
1265	Apparently the new head of the HR Department is a real bitch.	1.4023	0.04953	174	120	38	16
1266	I'd ask HR for a human only bathroom, but we both know it's not politically correct...	1.4023	0.04885	174	119	40	15
1267	Don't let them fool you; they're just playing online poker.	1.4022	0.04917	179	124	38	17
1268	I wonder if these bitches get paid less too.	1.4022	0.05286	179	130	26	23
1269	I'm getting really annoyed with these dog-friendly Internet cafes.	1.4021	0.04787	189	131	40	18
1270	Did you see their search history?! Like every other one is “doggy style.”	1.4021	0.04755	194	135	40	19
1271	I'm all about diversity in the workplace, but I get the feeling next week's potluck Tuesday could be rough.	1.4013	0.05384	152	106	31	15
1272	My dog makes more than I do AND they give her treats!	1.4012	0.05140	162	112	35	15
1273	Why does the app just search local fire hydrants?	1.4012	0.04957	167	114	39	14
1274	Can you believe someone ate my lunch out of the fridge again?	1.4012	0.04855	172	117	41	14
1275	I don't think I can handle another walking meeting.	1.4012	0.04713	172	115	45	12
1276	They're obviously hunting for SPAM.	1.4012	0.04924	172	118	39	15
1277	How about taking ME out for a walk sometime?	1.4012	0.04640	172	114	47	11
1278	I’m not sure how to break in to the “good boys” club.	1.4011	0.04919	182	127	37	18
1279	Want to see this place turn to chaos? Throw a ball and yell, "Go fetch"	1.4011	0.04857	182	126	39	17
1280	I just can't teach them the new tricks.	1.4011	0.04579	187	126	47	14
1281	Just between you and me, this diversity initiative has gone too far.	1.4011	0.04579	187	126	47	14
1282	It started, innocently enough, with "Bring Your Dog to Work Day."	1.4011	0.04703	187	128	43	16
1283	Their bark is worse than their byte.	1.4010	0.04674	192	132	43	17
1284	The pet friendly policy has gotten out of hand.	1.4010	0.04645	197	136	43	18
1285	The one next to me is a total bitch on wheels.	1.4010	0.04810	197	139	37	21
1286	On-line poker, of course	1.4010	0.04532	197	134	47	16
1287	I don't know why corporate loves them—all they do is watch cat videos.	1.4010	0.04587	207	144	43	20
1288	Well, don't look at me, I'm not letting them out!	1.4009	0.04357	212	144	51	17
1289	Yes, he's a great coder. But he has accidents.	1.4000	0.05006	150	100	40	10
1290	They're okay, I guess, but I'm sad that the cats didn't work out"	1.4000	0.04675	170	113	46	11
1291	Watch out! It's almost petting time.	1.4000	0.04795	175	119	42	14
1292	He just spends all day looking at cat videos.	1.4000	0.04567	180	120	48	12
1293	Therr's no way we can compete. They were actually bred for this.	1.4000	0.04749	170	114	44	12
1294	What irritates me is the time they spend watching videos of cute humans	1.4000	0.04996	175	122	36	17
1295	I know they're untrainable, but he loves their loyalty.	1.4000	0.04766	180	123	42	15
1296	This generation doesn't really talk at work. It's all email and IM. And the occasional butt sniff.	1.4000	0.04675	185	126	44	15
1297	Hi I'm Rover's human. Who do you belong to?	1.4000	0.05307	145	99	34	12
1298	Incredible! They all heard that 'on the internet, no one can tell you're a dog.'	1.4000	0.04634	180	121	46	13
1299	Oh my God! What did I just step in?	1.4000	0.04848	165	111	42	12
1300	Stay cool. They're hacker tracking dogs.	1.4000	0.04996	175	122	36	17
1301	If I have to listen to him bark along with "Who Let the Dogs Out" one more time I'm going to Non-human Resources!	1.4000	0.05170	170	120	32	18
1302	I'm beginning to wonder if we're really cut out to be telebarketers.	1.3990	0.04655	193	133	43	17
1303	By the way, I’m not the bitch.	1.3989	0.04977	188	134	33	21
1304	HR needs to know about all this panting.	1.3989	0.04743	188	130	41	17
1305	On the internet, no one knows that you're a human.	1.3989	0.04836	183	127	39	17
1306	They just got here and already have a few legs up on us!	1.3989	0.04836	183	127	39	17
1307	They don't actually need to tell us to 'sit'.	1.3989	0.04514	183	122	49	12
1308	Who better to promote our 'loyalty' campaign?	1.3989	0.04869	178	123	39	16
1309	They like watching cats embarrass themselves.	1.3989	0.05060	178	126	33	19
1310	HR said standing desks would require too much additional training	1.3989	0.04803	178	122	41	15
1311	And they said we'd lose our jobs to robots	1.3988	0.04969	173	120	37	16
1312	All these guys do is play on-line poker."	1.3988	0.05036	173	121	35	17
1313	They monitor Trump's dog whistles.	1.3988	0.05332	163	116	29	18
1314	The secret to this school's enrollment success? Cat videos.	1.3987	0.05355	153	107	31	15
1315	Don’t be fooled they always fall asleep after a few minutes.	1.3987	0.04849	153	101	43	9
1316	I know it's what they do, but couldn't we just shake hands in the morning instead ?	1.3986	0.05140	148	100	37	11
1317	I thought they said MONKEYS could do our job.	1.3979	0.04257	191	125	56	10
1318	When they said we could bring our pets in to work I had no idea they meant TO WORK!	1.3979	0.04569	191	130	46	15
1319	I'm not taking them on their bathroom break	1.3978	0.04839	186	130	38	18
1320	Bailey won't stop asking me to walk him.	1.3978	0.04592	186	126	46	14
1321	I'm all for increasing diversity in the workplace, but I think everyone should still be required to wear pants.	1.3978	0.04655	186	127	44	15
1322	They're redacting the Mueller report !	1.3978	0.05058	181	129	32	20
1323	All right, not everyone who works in telemarketing is a Son of a Bitch ".	1.3977	0.04907	176	122	38	16
1324	How can I take my break when my boss keeps telling me to “sit”!	1.3977	0.05037	176	124	34	18
1325	I don't think they get online dating. I've never heard so much whining and begging.	1.3977	0.04973	176	123	36	17
1326	This place has always been such a good boys' club.	1.3977	0.04840	176	121	40	15
1327	Is that what they meant when they said they needed loyalty and obedience?	1.3976	0.04748	166	111	44	11
1328	If you think Fido's breath is bad try sitting next to Billy.	1.3976	0.05047	166	115	36	15
1329	Tim, I can't work with this bitch anymore!	1.3970	0.04823	199	142	35	22
1330	At least the aardvarks didn't want to be taken outside every ten minutes.	1.3969	0.04459	194	131	49	14
1331	I can’t believe Tucker got promoted - all he does all day is watch cat videos.	1.3969	0.04635	194	134	43	17
1332	Just tell me this. Who let the dogs in? Who, who, who, who, who?	1.3968	0.04662	189	130	43	16
1333	Just throw the ball and let THEM run with it!	1.3968	0.04350	189	125	53	11
1334	Give the company credit for realizing "on the Internet, no one knows you're a dog" was a business plan.	1.3967	0.04625	184	125	45	14
1335	I expected bugs. I didn't expect fleas.	1.3967	0.04814	184	128	39	17
1336	Who’s going to walk them?	1.3966	0.04911	179	125	37	17
1337	Their benefits are bare bones.	1.3966	0.04781	179	123	41	15
1338	He’s not even working, he’s just watching ‘Lassie’ reruns.”	1.3966	0.04781	179	123	41	15
1339	I miss cubicles	1.3966	0.04511	179	119	49	11
1340	Did you chew on my keyboard?	1.3966	0.05013	174	122	35	17
1341	Why is senior management always dominated by straight white pedigrees?	1.3966	0.05013	174	122	35	17
1342	If they’re looking for creativity, why keep us on such a short leash?	1.3966	0.04946	174	121	37	16
1343	I thought that equity in pay was ridiculous when I was getting paid less than men!	1.3966	0.05013	174	122	35	17
1344	I've been here for three months, when are they going to stop sniffing my butt?	1.3966	0.04451	174	114	51	9
1345	Have you seen the bathroom situation?	1.3964	0.05189	169	120	31	18
1346	It's part of the new diversity hiring policy. They tried cats first, but they wouldn't join the union	1.3964	0.05051	169	118	35	16
1347	Can you imagine the cafeteria food?	1.3963	0.05234	164	116	31	17
1348	This is the third spreadsheet Spike has eaten this week.	1.3963	0.05089	164	114	35	15
1349	Would it be so hard for my manager to throw me a bone?	1.3962	0.05049	159	109	37	13
1350	I can't understand this guy's accent, and Angus is on another call. Do you speak Collie?	1.3962	0.05049	159	109	37	13
1351	I'm so sick of cleaning up after these guys.	1.3961	0.04553	154	99	49	6
1352	The workplace diversity plan seems to have gone a-stray.	1.3960	0.04448	202	138	48	16
1353	When we meet the new manager, are we supposed to shake or let him sniff our hindquarters?	1.3958	0.04490	192	130	48	14
1354	There's nothing but cat videos...	1.3957	0.04757	187	130	40	17
1355	Did you hear? The rumor is the boss is going to keep us on a tight leash.	1.3957	0.04380	187	124	52	11
1356	And we thought that we would be replaced by robots!	1.3957	0.04877	187	132	36	19
1357	Screw the merger. I still feel like it's two companies.	1.3957	0.05163	187	137	26	24
1358	Don't you DARE tell me it's so simple my dog could do it!!	1.3957	0.05650	139	98	27	14
1359	Did you hear Bosco put in his 14 weeks' notice?	1.3956	0.04724	182	125	42	15
1360	The pups are catching on but you can't teach an old dog new tricks	1.3956	0.04460	182	121	50	11
1361	He just called his mother a bitch!	1.3955	0.04884	177	123	38	16
1362	They gave the chickens standing desks!	1.3955	0.04751	177	121	42	14
1363	I thought they said we were going to be replaced by robots.	1.3955	0.05140	177	127	30	20
1364	And you call me a bitch!	1.3953	0.04986	172	120	36	16
1365	I asked for a break and they told me to use a pee pad.	1.3951	0.04904	162	110	40	12
1366	I told you - old dogs can learn new tricks!	1.3950	0.04421	200	136	49	15
1367	I keep getting texts that say "Who's a good girl now!" I'm afraid, really afraid.	1.3947	0.04459	190	128	49	13
1368	The one next to me is such a bitch.”	1.3947	0.04642	190	131	43	16
1369	What did dogs do before the internet?	1.3946	0.04793	185	129	39	17
1370	The boss is their best friend.	1.3946	0.04854	185	130	37	18
1371	They're all playing poker!	1.3944	0.04888	180	126	37	17
1372	It's not enough they work us like dogs.......	1.3944	0.04560	180	121	47	12
1373	I'm not going to work for treats.	1.3941	0.05027	170	119	35	16
1374	No, this isn't what I had in mind when I became an English major either.	1.3941	0.04886	170	117	39	14
1375	And this time, don't throw the ball down the stairwell -- unless you want to handle Prince's workload as well.	1.3941	0.05027	170	119	35	16
1376	Now on the internet, everyone thinks I'm a dog.	1.3939	0.04784	198	141	36	21
1377	They were tired of begging for our love while we stared at our phones.	1.3939	0.05064	165	115	35	15
1378	Beats me, but they seem to be racking up sales	1.3938	0.04410	193	130	50	13
1379	When they said it was a dog-friendly office, I had no idea this is what they meant.	1.3938	0.05177	160	112	33	15
1380	They do a much better job since we blocked Animal Planet.	1.3936	0.04490	188	127	48	13
1381	To fix the bugs, they want to get flea collars!	1.3936	0.04971	188	135	32	21
1382	I guess the company is really serious about diversity and inclusion.	1.3934	0.04516	211	148	43	20
1383	The new hires may have pedigree but they could use a breath mint.	1.3933	0.05426	150	106	29	15
1384	ME TOO! Even Harvey Weinstein never tried to smell my rear!	1.3933	0.04927	178	125	36	17
1385	I’m a cat person!	1.3933	0.04927	178	125	36	17
1386	I just thought they were going to lie around and look cute.	1.3931	0.04611	173	116	46	11
1387	You guys were all sooo worried about the robots. If you had just listened to me...	1.3929	0.04704	168	113	44	11
1388	They still think no one knows they're dogs.	1.3929	0.04998	168	117	36	15
1389	What, I can’t pet them anymore?	1.3927	0.04563	191	131	45	15
1390	Didn't I tell you? The "pet friendly workplace" was just the tip of the iceberg.	1.3926	0.05107	163	114	34	15
1391	Yeah, the same dogs from the painting...online poker is legal in our state now.	1.3926	0.05253	163	116	30	17
1392	Hey, what happened to all the cat videos?	1.3926	0.04956	163	112	38	13
1393	Please tell me they're temps.	1.3924	0.04986	158	108	38	12
1394	I can't get the hang of this CORGI keyboard!	1.3924	0.05223	158	111	32	15
1395	I didn't realize this is what they meant by a 'pet-friendly workplace'.	1.3924	0.05145	158	110	34	14
1396	Yeah, just type randomly. It’s something about how long it will take to come up with “War and Peace.”	1.3923	0.04607	181	123	45	13
1397	Did the boss take you out for your walk yet?	1.3922	0.05183	153	106	34	13
1398	I thought the robots were supposed to replace us.	1.3920	0.04697	176	120	43	13
1399	You've got to tell them that the table leg cannot be used for bathroom breaks!	1.3919	0.05220	148	102	34	12
1400	On the internet no one knows you're a human.	1.3918	0.05071	171	121	33	17
1401	Just be organized, do your thing and don't be an alpha	1.3918	0.04792	171	117	41	13
1402	On the internet nobody knows that you’re not a dog.	1.3918	0.04863	171	118	39	14
1403	I've had it! I'm sick of being the token human!	1.3918	0.04863	171	118	39	14
1404	Mr. Whiskers is gonna hate these new guys.	1.3918	0.04646	171	115	45	11
1405	In customer service, noone knows you're a dog.	1.3918	0.04792	171	117	41	13
1406	They find that dogs are 20% less likely to sue the boss for hitting on them.	1.3916	0.04817	166	113	41	12
1407	It said InterPet Cafe’, but I thought it was a typo.	1.3916	0.05111	166	117	33	16
1408	I am sitting next to the wolf of Wall Street...	1.3915	0.04775	189	133	38	18
1409	Sure, they sniff out the latest trends, but every time it rains this place stinks!	1.3915	0.04834	189	134	36	19
1410	All they do is fetch data.”	1.3913	0.04619	184	126	44	14
1411	We needed degrees for this?	1.3913	0.04354	184	122	52	10
1412	Rosie smells bad, but she retrieved a document I thought I'd lost.	1.3911	0.04214	202	135	55	12
1413	The boss thought this was one way to avoid hiring illegals.	1.3911	0.05030	179	128	32	19
1414	Their barks are worse than their bytes	1.3911	0.04904	179	126	36	17
1415	Does your sound have a woofer?	1.3908	0.04871	174	121	38	15
1416	Do you think they are on to us?	1.3908	0.04802	174	120	40	14
1417	I mean, the pay’s okay here, and the benefits are great, but are the mandatory flea collars really necessary?	1.3908	0.04871	174	121	38	15
1418	I started here as a dog walker.	1.3908	0.04939	174	122	36	16
1419	What do you mean we have to pee on the lawn?	1.3907	0.04500	215	152	42	21
1420	Enough! I’m telling them it’s under the table.	1.3905	0.05113	169	120	32	17
1421	Have you heard of chewy.com? He's been looking at it for five hours.	1.3901	0.04384	182	121	51	10
1422	Don't tell them about the "Escape Key"	1.3901	0.05584	141	100	27	14
1423	NO! It's your turn to take them outside to do their business!	1.3898	0.04744	177	122	41	14
1424	I know, it takes some getting used to, but that’s just how they say “hello.”	1.3898	0.05071	177	127	31	19
1425	I mean, if I knew what they meant by "pet-friendly" I wouldn't have applied here.	1.3898	0.04877	177	124	37	16
1426	I'm convinced there's serious bias in the recruiting algorithm.	1.3897	0.04493	195	134	46	15
1427	Cat porn, all cat porn. What kind of place did you bring me to?	1.3897	0.04610	195	136	42	17
1428	But there's no middle ground with them - they see everything as black or white.	1.3895	0.04979	172	121	35	16
1429	At this rate, I'm going to need a flea collar too.	1.3895	0.04550	172	115	47	10
1430	The health insurance here is lousy but they put seven times more into my 401(k) than my last employer.	1.3892	0.05014	167	117	35	15
1431	The admissions committee expanded legacy preference to include pets.	1.3892	0.05086	167	118	33	16
1432	It’s customer call from overseas, and I can’t understand a word he’s saying. Do you speak Shih-tzu?	1.3892	0.04794	167	114	41	12
1433	Of course they sell more. They don't get up to pee.	1.3892	0.05156	167	119	31	17
1434	I'm afraid my future here is in doubt. It's hard to compete with someone who will work for treats.	1.3892	0.04598	185	127	44	14
1435	Relax- nobody will know you're not a dog.	1.3892	0.04967	185	133	32	20
1436	When they said dog friendly this is not what I expected.	1.3889	0.04973	162	112	37	13
1437	They said it was “bring your human to work day.”	1.3889	0.04553	180	122	46	12
1438	They are all obsessed with cats, I mean really "obsessed."	1.3889	0.04687	180	124	42	14
1439	They're support dogs."	1.3889	0.04553	180	122	46	12
1440	Corporate did a Me Too clean-out and they were the only ones who kept their paws to themselves.	1.3886	0.04982	175	124	34	17
1441	Bella is being SUCH a bitch today.	1.3886	0.05112	175	126	30	19
1442	I can’t keep up - These guys work like dogs.	1.3885	0.05242	157	111	31	15
1443	Why does every start-up expect you to work like a dog?	1.3883	0.04546	188	129	45	14
1444	Is it just me, or is every new employee here a complete bitch?	1.3883	0.04730	188	132	39	17
1445	Cat videos? Really?	1.3882	0.04878	170	118	38	14
1446	And to think we were so concerned about A.I.	1.3882	0.04949	170	119	36	15
1447	They keep flagging every cat they see as an ‘influencer.’	1.3882	0.04807	170	117	40	13
1448	I ask the boss for some pointers one time...	1.3880	0.04945	183	131	33	19
1449	I'm as tolerant as the next person, but have you seen the bathrooms?	1.3880	0.04760	183	128	39	16
1450	I think the lobbying by the ASPCA has gone way too far.	1.3880	0.04760	183	128	39	16
1451	Well at least your lab partner’s been housebroken.	1.3879	0.04908	165	114	38	13
1452	'' Do these guys ever stop yapping? "	1.3879	0.05271	165	119	28	18
1453	And Now other species getting paid more than me?	1.3879	0.05271	165	119	28	18
1454	Did you have to tell the Manager it was so easy a dog could do it?	1.3876	0.04654	178	122	43	13
1455	Whose turn is it to walk them?	1.3876	0.04654	178	122	43	13
1456	Yes, I'm sure A.I. does not mean Animal Intelligence.	1.3876	0.04654	178	122	43	13
1457	For the last time, Chet, I'm not going to take you for a walk.	1.3876	0.04722	178	123	41	14
1458	I know they're dogs, but they identify as geeks.	1.3875	0.05015	160	111	36	13
1459	They`re always barking orders at us, I still don’t get it.	1.3875	0.05093	160	112	34	14
1460	How long til the next fire hydrant break?	1.3875	0.05169	160	113	32	15
1461	What’s the emoji sequence for ‘Yours Truly’? Is it ‘Bone Bone Bone Food Bowl’ or ‘Kibble Kibble Dead Cat Chew Toy’?	1.3873	0.05154	173	125	29	19
1462	Even dog obedience school is online now.	1.3873	0.04747	173	119	41	13
1463	Man, I hate this “bring your humans to work day”, it is so counter productive ...	1.3871	0.05128	155	108	34	13
1464	All they do is play video poker.	1.3871	0.05061	186	136	28	22
1465	Who's going to explain bathroom etiquette to them?	1.3871	0.04450	186	126	48	12
1466	I just knew they had ulterior motives with 'Bring Your Pet to Work Day.'	1.3869	0.04771	168	115	41	12
1467	It's called diversity, John!"	1.3867	0.04532	181	123	46	12
1468	Don't forget! They hired us for the human perspective.	1.3867	0.04796	181	127	38	16
1469	Is the guy next to you just playing online poker too?	1.3867	0.04796	181	127	38	16
1470	Gross, he’s looking at cat pics and panting.	1.3866	0.04623	194	136	41	17
1471	He never stops panting, so my screen keeps fogging up.	1.3865	0.04948	163	113	37	13
1472	They're loyal employees, but can they learn new tricks?	1.3865	0.04713	163	110	43	10
1473	Just because he's the alpha dog doesn't mean I should have to fetch his ball!	1.3865	0.05099	163	115	33	15
1474	They are being trained to help people who don't have grandchildren.	1.3864	0.04893	176	124	36	16
1475	I misunderstood when you said I'd be 'working with animals'.	1.3864	0.04758	176	122	40	14
1476	-"Who let the dogs outsource?"	1.3864	0.05024	176	126	32	18
1477	This is not what I imagined when the CEO said the new interns will work like dogs	1.3864	0.04959	176	125	34	17
1478	He took your ball yesterday and now he ate my lunch.	1.3862	0.04709	189	133	39	17
1479	I didn't know I was hired to play ball.	1.3861	0.04266	202	137	52	13
1480	I've got a bad feeling about this transfer to a farm upstate.	1.3861	0.04652	202	144	38	20
1481	What the hell was in that coffee?	1.3861	0.05057	158	110	35	13
1482	Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tech.	1.3861	0.04895	158	108	39	11
1483	Well, they did stop outsourcing to asia.	1.3860	0.04855	171	119	38	14
1484	I mean, who listens to 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' on repeat for three hours straight?	1.3860	0.04995	171	121	34	16
1485	No chance I land the Purina account.	1.3860	0.04711	171	117	42	12
1486	They used to have a cat on the team, but all he did was toy with his mouse during most of his shift.	1.3860	0.05131	171	123	30	18
1487	Look, it's not racist - they stink.	1.3860	0.04784	171	118	40	13
1488	On the Doggernet, nobody knows you're a human.	1.3860	0.04638	171	116	44	11
1489	Maybe now the boss will throw us a bone every once in a while	1.3859	0.04862	184	131	35	18
1490	Want to take our biscuit break?	1.3859	0.04675	184	128	41	15
1491	Who the hell let the dogs out?	1.3859	0.04801	184	130	37	17
1492	They got tired of poker! What can I say?	1.3858	0.04738	197	141	36	20
1493	It all started with bring-your-dog-to-work-day	1.3855	0.04884	166	115	38	13
1494	So, I guess you CAN teach an old dog a new operating system	1.3855	0.04808	166	114	40	12
1495	He told me that I've had enough to eat and to go lie in the corner.	1.3855	0.05244	166	120	28	18
1496	This isn't what I thought they meant when they said it was a dog friendly workplace.	1.3855	0.04633	179	123	43	13
1497	Did you hear, we're all getting new collar ID?	1.3855	0.04897	179	127	35	17
1498	The interns wanted health insurance so here we are	1.3855	0.04426	179	120	49	10
1499	Do we have 'Species Neutral' bathrooms ?	1.3855	0.04633	179	123	43	13
1500	I think the Border Collie is on to us	1.3851	0.04750	161	109	42	10
1501	I gotta say, showing your boss that cat video wasn't the smartest move.	1.3851	0.04411	161	105	50	6
1502	They don't need to sign-in. They just mark their computers.	1.3851	0.04931	174	123	35	16
1503	These guys spend all day playing online poker!	1.3851	0.04931	174	123	35	16
1504	Every hour they get a walk, a treat and a belly rub!	1.3851	0.04795	174	121	39	14
1505	I'm sorry, but in the #MeToo era, panting on the phone should no longer to considered acceptable behavior.	1.3850	0.04465	200	139	45	16
1506	I don't get it! All the cat videos are blocked!	1.3846	0.04710	182	127	40	15
1507	I hear they’re management’s best friend.	1.3846	0.04894	169	118	37	14
1508	Enough with the byte jokes!	1.3846	0.04837	182	129	36	17
1509	They're all using "Fetch"	1.3846	0.04344	208	144	48	16
1510	Now that Bailey's my boss he expects me to "pick up" after him.	1.3846	0.04827	195	141	33	21
1511	I think some people are abusing the emotional support animal thing.	1.3846	0.04376	182	122	50	10
1512	My boss and IRA both rolled over.	1.3842	0.04806	190	136	35	19
1513	'They're all literally brown noses'	1.3842	0.04870	177	125	36	16
1514	"The last thing I want to hear right now is that I'm fetching."	1.3842	0.05000	177	127	32	18
1515	And I was worried about being replaced by AI!	1.3842	0.05000	177	127	32	18
1516	I mean the least they could do is wear pants.	1.3842	0.04870	177	125	36	16
1517	They're treating this job like it's just a walk in the park	1.3842	0.04935	177	126	34	17
1518	Tell me I'm seeing things or have we turned into humans?	1.3841	0.04923	164	114	37	13
1519	Still think they're not working us like dogs?	1.3841	0.04847	164	113	39	12
1520	It’s a good job, but trying to eat your lunch can be a real nightmare.	1.3841	0.04960	151	103	38	10
1521	They seem to understand fetch, but I can't get them to execute.	1.3841	0.05048	151	104	36	11
1522	Really? My parents couldn't bribe my way into Junior College either!	1.3838	0.04655	185	129	41	15
1523	How are they typing so quickly?	1.3838	0.04779	185	131	37	17
1524	I hate these open plan offices, you try to work and all you hear is yap yap yap.	1.3838	0.04591	185	128	43	14
1525	I wish they could be taught not to salivate every time the microwave dings.	1.3837	0.04542	172	116	46	10
1526	My New Yorker caption is always the funniest, yet I never win!	1.3836	0.05413	159	116	25	18
1527	I thought it was supposed to be immigrants taking our jobs	1.3834	0.04577	193	135	42	16
1528	They're effective because they know how to bark back.	1.3834	0.04144	193	128	56	9
1529	Honestly, we thought you were a dog.	1.3833	0.04745	180	126	39	15
1530	No worries, we’ll definitely win the two legged race.	1.3833	0.04810	180	127	37	16
1531	I don't know why you're complaining, at least you get paid the same as them.	1.3832	0.05148	167	120	30	17
1532	And the boss is just some fat cat.	1.3832	0.05218	167	121	28	18
1533	And imagine what a madhouse it will be on Take Your Children to Work Day.”	1.3830	0.04723	188	133	38	17
1534	The 1 year warranty extension, is it in dog year or human year?	1.3830	0.04539	188	130	44	14
1535	The new intern is a real bitch	1.3829	0.04772	175	122	39	14
1536	think these three are bad? the boss is an actual bitch.	1.3829	0.04908	175	124	35	16
1537	So I just took the dog treat, said thank you, and walked out. What else could I do Jim?	1.3829	0.04561	175	119	45	11
1538	All I told them was to make the workplace more inclusive.	1.3829	0.04561	175	119	45	11
1539	I don’t know if he hung up or just stopped barking.	1.3829	0.04841	175	123	37	15
1540	Do you ever get the feeling they are just pretending to still be 'in training' in order to get treats?	1.3829	0.04703	175	121	41	13
1541	Our schedule says we are to do our business on a walk at 3pm.	1.3829	0.04633	175	120	43	12
1542	Is the password two arfs or three?	1.3827	0.04886	162	112	38	12
1543	Is everyone seriously just using the internet nowadays to watch cat videos?	1.3827	0.05116	162	115	32	15
1544	Are admission standards getting lower, or are dogs getting smarter?	1.3825	0.04357	183	123	50	10
1545	The pet friendly office policy has officially gone too far.	1.3824	0.04798	170	118	39	13
1546	Yes I’m a good girl! Yes I’m a good girl! Yes I’m a good girl! If I don’t say it three times I can’t even get their account numbers!	1.3822	0.04235	191	128	53	10
1547	Oh, the guy beside you is breaking the no-snacks-or-toys rule? Why don't you come sit by the one watching cat porn with Nickelback blasting out of his headphones?	1.3822	0.04899	191	139	31	21
1548	I thought they only played poker.	1.3822	0.04993	157	109	36	12
1549	Actually no, I can't really 'throw you a bone' right now	1.3820	0.04365	178	119	50	9
1550	It's above our frequency.	1.3817	0.04571	186	129	43	14
1551	I'm not a dog. Are you a dog?	1.3816	0.05107	152	106	34	12
1552	For the last time, it's internet poker and of course nobody knows they are playing against dogs.	1.3816	0.05021	152	105	36	11
1553	Someone has been eating my salads in the break room, and I'm just saying - I have a feeling it's you.	1.3815	0.05081	173	125	30	18
1554	Dangerous? They run in PACs.	1.3813	0.04764	160	109	41	10
1555	I keep forgetting the kibbles to dollar exchange rate	1.3812	0.04456	181	123	47	11
1556	They can smell it before you'll ever see it	1.3810	0.04909	168	118	36	14
1557	What happened to the cats?"	1.3810	0.04909	168	118	36	14
1558	Well, who took my chocolate bar then, Kevin?!	1.3810	0.04821	189	136	34	19
1559	Well, at least they’re not millennials.	1.3810	0.05052	168	120	32	16
1560	I don't get it either -- they don't have opposable thumbs.	1.3810	0.04762	168	116	40	12
1561	It’s called muttsourcing	1.3810	0.04686	168	115	42	11
1562	Can you find anything besides cat videos?	1.3810	0.04909	168	118	36	14
1563	And when you need a potty break someone walks you around the block!	1.3807	0.05016	176	127	31	18
1564	I think I have fleas	1.3807	0.04540	176	120	45	11
1565	I think this place needs a better vetting process.	1.3807	0.04750	176	123	39	14
1566	I told her it'd be a walk in the park	1.3806	0.05200	155	110	31	14
1567	One good thing is there’s never a shortage of toilet paper.	1.3804	0.04703	163	111	42	10
1568	They're taking emotional support to a whole new level.	1.3804	0.04783	163	112	40	11
1569	i'm just saying, you or I would get fired for playing video poker on company time.	1.3802	0.04469	192	133	45	14
1570	Plus they can be surprisingly catty.	1.3801	0.04917	171	121	35	15
1571	You won't be promoted here without good breeding.	1.3801	0.04478	171	115	47	9
1572	When Doug told me that humans would be replaced I didn’t see this coming...	1.3801	0.04847	171	120	37	14
1573	I thought it was supposed to be the robots that took over our jobs.	1.3799	0.04693	179	125	40	14
1574	More and more dogs are "speaking" up about unwanted touch by their owners.	1.3797	0.04357	187	127	49	11
1575	I can't work with these animals!	1.3797	0.04487	187	129	45	13
1576	Are you SURE that on Twitter no one will know we’re humans?	1.3797	0.04551	187	130	43	14
1577	I bet their owners bribed them into this school"	1.3795	0.04949	166	117	35	14
1578	FYI - there is a random smell test this week.	1.3795	0.04949	166	117	35	14
1579	I don't know about you, but I've had about enough of rating cat videos.	1.3795	0.04723	166	114	41	11
1580	That old New Yorker cartoon is still true. "Nobody knows you're a dog on the internet!"	1.3795	0.04875	166	116	37	13
1581	I'm not even prejudiced! Just allergic.	1.3793	0.04574	174	119	44	11
1582	I’m telling you, he’s not like the others and he’s getting on my nerves.	1.3791	0.04571	182	126	43	13
1583	Maybe it explains all the fake news.	1.3789	0.04980	161	113	35	13
1584	I've told this customer that he's a good boy, yes he is, but he seems to need even more attention.	1.3788	0.04602	198	141	39	18
1585	Don’t tell them the ball is down there	1.3787	0.04739	169	117	40	12
1586	Don't you ever say 'Bitch!'	1.3785	0.04795	177	125	37	15
1587	It's interesting that all of their computers have English as a second language.	1.3784	0.04251	185	124	52	9
1588	The one with the glasses recommended kibble futures. What are kibble futures?	1.3784	0.04710	185	131	38	16
1589	I thought there was gonna be more women.	1.3780	0.05064	164	117	32	15
1590	I don't get it. Someone rings a bell and they start clicking	1.3780	0.04680	164	112	42	10
1591	It's hell getting computer time since obedience school went online.	1.3779	0.04963	172	123	33	16
1592	The pay sucks but they have the best “take your dog to work” program	1.3779	0.04753	172	120	39	13
1593	That much I understand. But what does "Yip, yip, grrrr, woof" at the end mean?	1.3779	0.05164	172	126	27	19
1594	So, how did your temp agency describe this position?	1.3779	0.04894	172	122	35	15
1595	This 'bring your dog to work day' thing has gotten way out of control.	1.3778	0.04398	180	122	48	10
1596	And can you believe we're the interns?	1.3778	0.04671	180	126	40	14
1597	This place has gone to the dogs, but try working in a bear market.	1.3777	0.04655	188	133	39	16
1598	Hey, they can't be worse than the pigs we fired.	1.3776	0.04402	196	136	46	14
1599	I'm sick of working with these bitches, Jerry!	1.3776	0.04854	196	144	30	22
1600	My screen said Pet Friendly too!	1.3775	0.04859	151	103	39	9
1601	``What gives? Not a single cat.''	1.3774	0.04778	159	109	40	10
1602	I thought they said we’d work WITH a lab.	1.3774	0.04942	159	111	36	12
1603	They’ve mastered Excel, but urinals not so much.	1.3774	0.05178	159	114	30	15
1604	The ball's under the desk. They could care less.	1.3772	0.04700	167	115	41	11
1605	“This all started with, Bring Your Dog to Work Day.”	1.3772	0.04925	167	118	35	14
1606	Wanna catch tennis balls during morning break?	1.3771	0.04695	175	122	40	13
1607	He asked me if I wanted to go out .....	1.3771	0.04900	175	125	34	16
1608	None of the them will even fetch me a cup of coffee.	1.3771	0.04624	175	121	42	12
1609	They blog all day about the cat videos on YouTube.	1.3770	0.04808	183	131	35	17
1610	Does he mean "woof?" Or does he mean "arf?"	1.3770	0.04356	191	131	48	12
1611	Can't you see they're working us like dogs?!	1.3770	0.04720	191	137	36	18
1612	It all started with bring your pooch to work day.	1.3770	0.04662	191	136	38	17
1613	No, there is no coffee and you don't even want to know about the bathroom breaks.	1.3766	0.05053	154	108	34	12
1614	Check your privilege, Chad..... I don't see species.	1.3765	0.04877	162	113	37	12
1615	Stay away from the meet and greet.	1.3765	0.05399	162	120	23	19
1616	I just want you to know that I felt better about being replaced by a robot.	1.3765	0.04717	162	111	41	10
1617	When I agreed to this "Take Your Owner to Work Day" I really expected more organized activities on the schedule.	1.3764	0.04969	178	129	31	18
1618	All I get are crank calls with panting and yipping.	1.3764	0.04969	178	129	31	18
1619	It’s the placement of ‘Lab’ in the title that confused me.	1.3763	0.04164	186	124	54	8
1620	I don't know what Steve's problem is - I called him a GOOD boy!	1.3758	0.04736	165	114	40	11
1621	I'd take it too. They get paid in "dog years"; most are eligible to retire in 5 years.	1.3757	0.05073	173	126	29	18
1622	Could you tell me who's A. Goodboye?	1.3757	0.05073	173	126	29	18
1623	More like 'who let the dogs IN'.	1.3757	0.04659	173	120	41	12
1624	I will not work like a dog for this promotion, Jerry"	1.3757	0.04801	173	122	37	14
1625	The daily face-licking is inappropriate.	1.3757	0.04659	173	120	41	12
1626	They expect you to work like a dog around here.	1.3757	0.04801	173	122	37	14
1627	Is this what they mean by “working like dogs?”	1.3757	0.04801	173	122	37	14
1628	Could you stop sending me cat videos?	1.3757	0.04584	181	126	42	13
1629	it's asking me if i'm a good boy	1.3757	0.04716	181	128	38	15
1630	If they don’t get puppycare, they say they’ll strike.	1.3757	0.04716	181	128	38	15
1631	You should never have mentioned spam in front of them.	1.3757	0.04650	181	127	40	14
1632	There you go...barking orders at me again!	1.3757	0.04716	181	128	38	15
1633	The cutback on green cards is killing us.	1.3757	0.04385	189	130	47	12
1634	They are all byte and no bark.	1.3757	0.04695	189	135	37	17
1635	They post one selfie and have millions of followers.	1.3756	0.04442	197	138	44	15
1636	No seriously, who did let the dogs out?	1.3756	0.04209	205	141	51	13
1637	And Trump is rambling on about Mexicans taking our jobs. This place used to be 90% human.	1.3750	0.04532	176	121	44	11
1638	They’re weirdly great at sniffing out bugs.	1.3750	0.04235	176	117	52	7
1639	You know, if I was gonna visit "pant-leg fetish" sites, I'd at least have the courtesy to delete my browser history.	1.3750	0.04836	160	111	38	11
1640	The only thing that bugs me is having to bark to use the bathroom....	1.3750	0.04786	184	132	35	17
1641	They can't fetch their own coffees?	1.3750	0.04600	168	115	43	10
1642	You realize that you too are barking at the callers!	1.3750	0.04522	192	135	42	15
1643	They're taking this "On the internet, no one knows you're a dog" thing a bit too far.	1.3750	0.04827	168	118	37	13
1644	If one of them mentions how "ruff" this job is one more time...	1.3750	0.04673	176	123	40	13
1645	So this is what corporate meant by “you’ll be in the doghouse”??	1.3750	0.04673	176	123	40	13
1646	This bitch next to me is cruising Petfinder and saying " Ooo good boy" over and over	1.3750	0.04810	176	125	36	15
1647	I'm so tired of them posting all those cute human and people fails memes!	1.3744	0.04646	195	140	37	18
1648	Why are they working? It’s more fun having your whole life off.	1.3738	0.04295	214	151	46	17
1649	We got a bone as our bonus. Do you still love dogs?	1.3738	0.04412	206	146	43	17
1650	I really like you Bob, all the other guys are animals.	1.3738	0.04078	206	140	55	11
1651	Well, at least when the boss barks at us, they can bark back.	1.3737	0.04186	198	135	52	11
1652	Why didn’t I get called a good girl?	1.3736	0.04759	182	130	36	16
1653	What? You’ve never heard of diversity in the workplace?	1.3736	0.04822	182	131	34	17
1654	On our next break, it's going to be your turn to walk him.	1.3736	0.04563	182	127	42	13
1655	It's 'Bring your Masters to Work Day'	1.3736	0.04946	182	133	30	19
1656	I think we're about to be outsourced.	1.3736	0.04708	174	122	39	13
1657	No, 'Bring Your Pet to Work Day' means you bring them to your office, not to actually 'work.'	1.3736	0.04637	174	121	41	12
1658	Apparently it has something to do with an old New Yorker cartoon.	1.3735	0.05227	166	122	26	18
1659	When you're online, no one can tell you're a human.	1.3734	0.05038	158	112	33	13
1660	My last office was a pig stye.	1.3734	0.04621	158	107	43	8
1661	What irks me is that we have to take them for "walkies."	1.3734	0.04876	158	110	37	11
1662	it’s so easy to spot who the boss’s pets are.”	1.3730	0.04511	185	129	43	13
1663	The Russian wolfhounds manipulate content and us. I don't care what Mueller said.	1.3729	0.04720	177	125	38	14
1664	It's your turn to walk them.	1.3729	0.04511	177	122	44	11
1665	Every dog has its data.	1.3728	0.04804	169	119	37	13
1666	Don't ever say you've been working like a d-o-g.	1.3727	0.04730	161	111	40	10
1667	There's some guy on the line who calls himself 'Dr. Dolittle.' He says he'll only talk to the animals.	1.3727	0.04730	161	111	40	10
1668	are they playing video poker over there too?	1.3727	0.04970	161	114	34	13
1669	I can't find my mouse either	1.3727	0.04970	161	114	34	13
1670	You better take this one. It's your mom...she says no one walked her today.	1.3727	0.04892	161	113	36	12
1671	But we know they're dogs.	1.3723	0.04460	188	131	44	13
1672	I drew the line at the sniffing.	1.3723	0.04331	188	129	48	11
1673	I'm 37! Do you think they'll make me learn new tricks?	1.3722	0.04528	180	125	43	12
1674	They have pedigrees in computing.	1.3722	0.04389	180	123	47	10
1675	Well, we don't have to work like dogs just because they do!	1.3721	0.04524	172	118	44	10
1676	It all started with 'Take your Pet to Work Day'.	1.3721	0.04598	172	119	42	11
1677	Do you also feel like Duke keeps barking out orders?	1.3720	0.04590	164	112	43	9
1678	I love the treats here and enjoy the walks, but I hate it when they grab us and give us a bath.	1.3719	0.04463	199	141	42	16
1679	Word is that management is going to throw us another bone.	1.3718	0.04916	156	109	36	11
1680	I don't want to stereotype, but I think the guy next to me just ate my mouse.	1.3718	0.05320	156	114	26	16
1681	First, it was, "Bring your dog to work" day, now it's, "Send your dog to work."	1.3716	0.04476	183	127	44	12
1682	I know - the one next to me stole my bowl too!	1.3716	0.04608	183	129	40	14
1683	Um, what’s the deal? I’ve been working like a dog for like 8 weeks now and no promotion. What do they expect me to do, beg?	1.3714	0.04824	175	125	35	15
1684	‘“And you’ve been worried all this time about AI replacing you!”	1.3714	0.04755	175	124	37	14
1685	Our diverse recruiting efforts may have gone too far	1.3714	0.04543	175	121	43	11
1686	We are NEVER gonna win this thing without a squirrel!	1.3713	0.04988	167	120	32	15
1687	This diversity thing is out of control.	1.3713	0.04690	167	116	40	11
1688	They said they have 21 years of experience, but this program is only three years old!	1.3713	0.05060	167	121	30	16
1689	Well, I'm glad you think I'm a babe, but you really shouldn't whistle in here.	1.3711	0.05168	159	115	29	15
1690	I hear the cats are starting a meow, too movement.	1.3711	0.05168	159	115	29	15
1691	He just sits on Fetchbook all day looking at his previous owner's vacation pictures.	1.3708	0.04630	178	125	40	13
1692	Somebody peed on my firewall.	1.3706	0.05132	170	125	27	18
1693	Who did you think was posting all those Instagram pictures?	1.3704	0.04504	189	133	42	14
1694	It’s only bad when they lick themselves.	1.3704	0.04566	189	134	40	15
1695	Dont' worry - their bark is worse than their byte	1.3704	0.04787	162	113	38	11
1696	Who knew the introduction of AI meant Animal Intelligence?	1.3701	0.04957	154	108	35	11
1697	The temp hiring agency promised they were all service dogs with lots of experience, but I can't say I'm impressed by what I've seen so far.	1.3700	0.04330	200	140	46	14
1698	These new hires have really challenged my thoughts on a diverse workforce.	1.3699	0.04503	173	119	44	10
1699	Oh come on Harry, it's a bit more than a "pet" peeve!	1.3699	0.04577	173	120	42	11
1700	As long as you have a law degree you’ll be fine — and you have to work like a dog obviously.	1.3699	0.04861	173	124	34	15
1701	It's not inappropriate to say if they actually are dogs.	1.3699	0.04721	173	122	38	13
1702	It's the mandatory flea collars that bother me most.	1.3699	0.04721	173	122	38	13
1703	Bring Your Dog to Work Day doesn't mean the owners can just go home, Jason.	1.3699	0.04998	173	126	30	17
1704	Apparently, there have been complaints. Some of our colleagues are barking at the customers.	1.3699	0.05144	146	103	32	11
1705	That new graphics designer is kind of a bitch!	1.3698	0.04807	192	141	31	20
1706	Mostly they do Sniffchat.	1.3698	0.04515	192	136	41	15
1707	I’m working like a dog too, but I’m not getting any recognition.	1.3697	0.04804	165	116	37	12
1708	The dogs ate my spreadsheet."	1.3697	0.05029	165	119	31	15
1709	Blame The New Yorker! It's all because of that "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog" cartoon.	1.3697	0.05102	165	120	29	16
1710	They work hard, they're focused, but if you post a cat pic they freak out.	1.3696	0.04715	184	132	36	16
1711	I think I got fleas.	1.3696	0.04523	184	129	42	13
1712	At the end of the day, I want more than a biscuit and a scratch on the head. Plus I'm a cat person.	1.3696	0.04110	184	123	54	7
1713	Look,I'm pretty sure we're the only ones here not being paid to take online courses for somebody else.	1.3696	0.04389	184	127	46	11
1714	They're learning new tricks!	1.3693	0.04377	176	120	47	9
1715	Are there any games beside Squirrel Chase on these computers?	1.3693	0.04594	176	123	41	12
1716	I don't care what you say, they're all bitches!	1.3692	0.04465	195	138	42	15
1717	I guess you can teach them new tricks after all.	1.3691	0.05071	149	105	33	11
1718	All I hear is a high-pitched whistle.	1.3690	0.04535	187	132	41	14
1719	And I thought robots would be replacing us	1.3690	0.04471	187	131	43	13
1720	All they do is watch cat videos, and cookie ads!	1.3687	0.05217	160	117	27	16
1721	Who knew that ‘being your dog to work day’ meant bring your dog, TO WORK?	1.3687	0.04608	179	126	40	13
1722	They shouldn't even be working here they don't have their papers.	1.3687	0.04743	179	128	36	15
1723	Have you seen my mouse? It’s missing.	1.3684	0.04999	152	107	34	11
1724	They're loyal and they work like dogs. Obviously, they're not Millennials.	1.3684	0.04757	171	121	37	13
1725	I refuse to work like dog.	1.3684	0.04900	171	123	33	15
1726	I guess it's true: On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.	1.3682	0.04426	201	143	42	16
1727	For the last time Gary, I'm not going to get him another Cappuccino because he got me another tennis ball.	1.3681	0.04750	182	131	35	16
1728	Even with my headphones on, all I can hear is Who Let The Dogs Out!	1.3681	0.04750	182	131	35	16
1729	Wow, the call center IS a zoo.	1.3681	0.04938	182	134	29	19
1730	Have you seen the toilets?	1.3681	0.04750	182	131	35	16
1731	I don't care if it is free wifi, if this mutt next to me humps my leg one more time I'm out of here!	1.3681	0.04920	163	116	34	13
1732	Apparently, we didn't get the memo.	1.3679	0.04495	193	137	41	15
1733	I hate the new hires. They are literally brown-nosers.	1.3679	0.04495	193	137	41	15
1734	But I can hear it saying "who's a good boy, who's a good boy..." like every 5 seconds.	1.3678	0.04906	174	126	32	16
1735	Boss gave them a long leash.	1.3678	0.04628	174	122	40	12
1736	It all started as “bring your pet to work” day.	1.3678	0.04555	174	121	42	11
1737	The guy says he'll only upgrade if he gets to talk to the pug again.	1.3678	0.04699	174	123	38	13
1738	I'm sick of picking up after them.	1.3677	0.04845	155	108	37	10
1739	The lack of communication bothers me. I have no idea what they are feeling unless their tails start wagging.	1.3677	0.05098	155	111	31	13
1740	bring your dog to work fridays is out of control.	1.3676	0.04694	185	133	36	16
1741	I’m telling you...the day Trump took over was the day they started to evolve into the more intelligent species...	1.3676	0.04878	185	136	30	19
1742	Bring your human to work day'"	1.3676	0.04163	185	125	52	8
1743	He says Fido is sick and he’s the subwoofer.	1.3675	0.05076	166	121	29	16
1744	They never throw US a bone!	1.3673	0.04327	196	137	46	13
1745	I know there are budget cuts, but wouldn’t the K-9 unit be more useful in the field?	1.3672	0.04642	177	125	39	13
1746	I feel like we're characters in a cartoon that makes no sense.	1.3670	0.04640	188	135	37	16
1747	They said, these three were the only ones who managed to turn off their smartphones.	1.3669	0.04568	169	117	42	10
1748	On the Internet, nobody kn ows you're human.	1.3669	0.05010	169	123	30	16
1749	They just play internet poker all day long!	1.3669	0.05010	169	123	30	16
1750	Is this bring-your-human-to-work day or what?	1.3667	0.04850	180	131	32	17
1751	Geez, Jim has been barking at me all day...	1.3667	0.04654	180	128	38	14
1752	When they told me this job had gone to the dogs, I had no idea how serious they were.	1.3667	0.04235	180	122	50	8
1753	They told me it was a 'dog eat dog office,' but this is getting ridiculous!	1.3667	0.04519	180	126	42	12
1754	How do these guys hold it in so long?	1.3665	0.04403	191	134	44	13
1755	This place is really getting to you; did you just say that I look fetching?	1.3665	0.04720	161	112	39	10
1756	If you say "this place is going to the dogs one more time", I'll beep your shock collar!	1.3663	0.04352	202	143	44	15
1757	I think management's trying to bust our union. These guys will work for biscuits!	1.3663	0.04438	172	118	45	9
1758	At least this is a human friendly workplace.	1.3663	0.04734	172	122	37	13
1759	I'm just saying every time I ask one of these new interns to fetch me an old staff report, they look at me like I'm speaking another language.	1.3663	0.04361	172	117	47	8
1760	...and when I confronted him, he accused me of trudging up old stereotypes! As if I hadn't seen the shred with my paper's title hanging from his mouth.	1.3663	0.04734	172	122	37	13
1761	Did you hear that Rufus tried to sniff our new back-end developer?	1.3663	0.04806	172	123	35	14
1762	Does "good boy!" sound appreciative over email?	1.3661	0.04400	183	127	45	11
1763	When did their support dogs start doing their work?!	1.3661	0.04792	183	133	33	17
1764	...and afterwards he took me home, humped my leg, speed on my carpet, and just left. I'm never dating a supervisor again!	1.3661	0.04854	183	134	31	18
1765	It's the Internet — no one will know.	1.3661	0.04534	183	129	41	13
1766	Are you not annoyed at all by this "Good afternoon, I'm man's best friend" sales trick?	1.3661	0.04729	183	132	35	16
1767	Can you believe they’re replacing us with a bunch of two-year-olds?	1.3661	0.04400	183	127	45	11
1768	These new folks grab onto a problem and won't let go until its solved.	1.3660	0.04706	153	105	40	8
1769	Seriously. Who let the dogs out?	1.3659	0.04660	164	114	40	10
1770	I appreciate that they provide us water, but I would prefer bottles.	1.3659	0.04660	164	114	40	10
1771	He said he's a Pooka, like I'm supposed to know what that is.	1.3657	0.04746	175	125	36	14
1772	When the hell are they going to take us outside for a walk?	1.3657	0.04677	175	124	38	13
1773	How to catch a squirrel? I usually just transfer those to Maxi.	1.3656	0.04284	186	128	48	10
1774	I miss those days when the biggest threat to our jobs was AI.”	1.3656	0.04284	186	128	48	10
1775	Apparently, if you bark at Alexa, you get chewy treats by overnight delivery...	1.3654	0.04820	156	109	37	10
1776	Rex thinks Lady is a bitch.	1.3653	0.04756	167	118	37	12
1777	The snacks here are terrible.	1.3653	0.04756	167	118	37	12
1778	They do not tell the customer they are putting them on hold, instead they say "sit and stay!"	1.3652	0.05016	178	132	27	19
1779	Honestly this is much better than robots taking our jobs	1.3652	0.04621	178	126	39	13
1780	Heads up--someone called the pound again.	1.3651	0.04238	189	130	49	10
1781	I know, and you know, but who cares?	1.3651	0.04496	189	134	41	14
1782	The company says they want a greater focus on "watchdog" journalism.	1.3651	0.04238	189	130	49	10
1783	It’s not so bad. The last place I worked was filled with trolls.	1.3651	0.04103	189	128	53	8
1784	See what happens when there's free WiFido?	1.3649	0.05176	148	106	30	12
1785	He keeps barking up the wrong tree.	1.3648	0.05002	159	114	32	13
1786	Got a tissue? The bloodhound used my terminal again.	1.3648	0.04586	159	109	42	8
1787	I said lap top, not lap dog"	1.3648	0.04757	159	111	38	10
1788	He tried to follow me to the bathroom yesterday	1.3648	0.04840	159	112	36	11
1789	Why do they feel the need to mark my chair?	1.3647	0.04771	170	121	36	13
1790	I told you a fence wouldn’t keep them from taking our jobs.	1.3647	0.04985	170	124	30	16
1791	Don't ask me, they're your interns...	1.3647	0.04697	170	120	38	12
1792	Is there any way to keep the Purina ads from popping up on the screen?"	1.3647	0.04843	170	122	34	14
1793	It's a real 'Who's a good boy? club'	1.3647	0.04771	170	121	36	13
1794	Who told the dog he can eat at his desk?	1.3647	0.04697	170	120	38	12
1795	Hey Jared, we're at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, right?	1.3646	0.04828	181	132	32	17
1796	Now I get why kibble came with my latte.	1.3646	0.04430	181	126	44	11
1797	They're killing us on the obedience class exams!	1.3646	0.04566	181	128	40	13
1798	I hear their health plan is better than ours too!	1.3646	0.04499	181	127	42	12
1799	This lying on the resume is starting to get out of hand..	1.3646	0.04430	181	126	44	11
1800	What’s the difference between “Bark” and “Bark Bark?”	1.3646	0.04626	192	139	36	17
1801	Careful. These ones are not your best friend.	1.3645	0.04334	203	144	44	15
1802	I still say that we are way overqualified for this job!	1.3642	0.05015	151	107	33	11
1803	We’re ruined - they’re taking down all the cat videos !	1.3642	0.05012	162	117	31	14
1804	You can't teach an old dog Linux	1.3642	0.04640	173	122	39	12
1805	Yes I'll go to lunch with you. When I go with theses guys the food is terrible!!!	1.3642	0.04921	173	126	31	16
1806	And there are no women on this Company's Board of Directors either. Is that the kind of world you want to live in Aaron?	1.3642	0.04852	173	125	33	15
1807	They're temps, just like us. Try not to discriminate.	1.3642	0.04102	173	115	53	5
1808	He says they are working toward their pedigree.	1.3642	0.04852	173	125	33	15
1809	HR says leg humping is part of their culture.	1.3642	0.04567	173	121	41	11
1810	When I heard, 'workin with animals' this is not what I envisioned at all.	1.3642	0.04712	173	123	37	13
1811	I thought it was " Bring your pet to work day" and not " Have your pet do your job day".	1.3641	0.04514	184	130	41	13
1812	I thought it would be robots taking over our jobs.	1.3641	0.04242	184	126	49	9
1813	I keep getting PetSmart pop-ups.	1.3636	0.04170	198	137	50	11
1814	Do you think HR has gone a bit overboard with their diversity push	1.3636	0.04513	176	123	42	11
1815	The new dog-to-human translation software seems to be working	1.3636	0.04475	165	113	44	8
1816	I tried, but the boss said that poop could be anyone's...	1.3636	0.04527	187	133	40	14
1817	Helen is a real bitch!	1.3636	0.04652	187	135	36	16
1818	Rick just peed all over my paperwork. Again.	1.3636	0.04557	165	114	42	9
1819	I thought the robots would take our jobs - I never considered this!	1.3636	0.04398	187	131	44	12
1820	Apparently when we signed up for Computer Lab, it meant Computer Labradors.	1.3631	0.04599	179	127	39	13
1821	What'd you bring for the potluck?	1.3631	0.04530	179	126	41	12
1822	They're watching crazy cat videos.	1.3631	0.04390	179	124	45	10
1823	Maybe now someone can finally fetch me that report!	1.3631	0.04667	179	128	37	14
1824	I’m ok with this, but if one of them offers me a treat I’m bailing.	1.3631	0.04390	179	124	45	10
1825	The worst part is that their internet speed is seven times faster.	1.3631	0.04599	179	127	39	13
1826	That bitch used to be my quote, ‘best friend.’	1.3631	0.04657	168	118	39	11
1827	Can't you read? It's 'whoozagoodboy' -all lower caps.	1.3631	0.04808	168	120	35	13
1828	Watch out for the big one- he’ll come up behind you and sniff your hair.	1.3631	0.04881	168	121	33	14
1829	I know I just joined the team, but tell me again why every other line in this code says “—Squirrel!”?	1.3630	0.05223	146	105	29	12
1830	I love Take Your Owner to Work Day.	1.3626	0.04546	182	129	40	13
1831	I refuse to take my supervisor out for a "WALKIE"!	1.3626	0.04478	182	128	42	12
1832	He looks at cute puppies on YouTube all day long!	1.3626	0.04478	182	128	42	12
1833	Don't drink the water	1.3626	0.04748	171	122	36	13
1834	Will you save my spot? I need to go do my business.	1.3626	0.04819	171	123	34	14
1835	I told the woman from Davis that I wanted to work with small animals.	1.3626	0.04890	171	124	32	15
1836	You think their parents had $500,000 too?	1.3626	0.04960	171	125	30	16
1837	When they asked me to fetch them some coffee, I knew I was done.	1.3626	0.05164	171	128	24	19
1838	These interns certainly are a new breed	1.3626	0.04448	171	118	44	9
1839	Enough with the cat videos, right?"	1.3626	0.04819	171	123	34	14
1840	She’s such a bitch.	1.3625	0.05356	160	120	22	18
1841	Get it? They're computer lab computer labs!	1.3622	0.04319	196	138	45	13
1842	My comfort animal won't share his password either.	1.3622	0.04428	185	130	43	12
1843	WTF! All the porn is Doggie style!	1.3622	0.04870	185	137	29	19
1844	Then he barked, put down that treat. Treats are for closers only.	1.3622	0.04686	185	134	35	16
1845	When they said the new interns were all 'good boys' this is not what I expected.	1.3620	0.04753	163	115	37	11
1846	You're right! My screens full of dog food ads too!	1.3617	0.04379	188	132	44	12
1847	We better start filling out applications, this place is going to the dogs.	1.3617	0.04443	188	133	42	13
1848	I think they are playing online poker.	1.3616	0.04633	177	126	38	13
1849	I heard our new boss is a pit bull	1.3616	0.04347	177	122	46	9
1850	I don't mind the Woofers, but the Tweeters are driving me crazy!	1.3616	0.04633	177	126	38	13
1851	They're watching 'Lassie' reruns.	1.3616	0.04420	177	123	44	10
1852	He wants to borrow my brush!	1.3615	0.05350	130	92	29	9
1853	What's with Sparky getting demoted to Alright Boy?	1.3614	0.04920	166	120	32	14
1854	I thought working with the Top Dog would be a great learning experience, but he keeps barking orders at me.	1.3614	0.04770	166	118	36	12
1855	I do like them. I just don't like making 80 cents to their dollar.	1.3614	0.05067	166	122	28	16
1856	I told him we'd play fetch but the software update is taking forever!	1.3614	0.04111	202	140	51	11
1857	No, Ted, it's your turn to take them out. They won't walk themselves.	1.3613	0.04578	191	138	37	16
1858	And he keeps telling me about his favourite sex positions. Apparently they just call it ‘style’.	1.3611	0.04842	180	132	31	17
1859	College admissions department at USC	1.3609	0.04710	169	120	37	12
1860	And they said it would be robots.	1.3609	0.04857	169	122	33	14
1861	I'm all for diversity hires...but I still think we need a few more cats.	1.3608	0.04285	194	136	46	12
1862	We do all of the work while they just sit around watching cat videos all day!	1.3608	0.04527	194	140	38	16
1863	You should see the women's bathroom.	1.3607	0.04656	183	132	36	15
1864	Sadly,most of them only watch YouTube funny cat videos.	1.3607	0.04656	183	132	36	15
1865	It's the new AI - Animal Intelligence	1.3605	0.04503	172	120	42	10
1866	Who knew K+9+Delete could do this?	1.3605	0.04652	172	122	38	12
1867	I used to worry we would be replaced by robots.	1.3605	0.04725	172	123	36	13
1868	All they do is allow cookies.	1.3605	0.04936	172	126	30	16
1869	Don't worry about Fred - his bark is worse than his bite.	1.3605	0.04652	172	122	38	12
1870	No, I didn't poop in the kitchen.	1.3605	0.05072	172	128	26	18
1871	Well, they are good boys	1.3602	0.04949	161	116	32	13
1872	But every 30 days they force one of those flea and tick treatments on your neck.	1.3602	0.04708	161	113	38	10
1873	On the internet they also can't tell that you're not a dog.	1.3602	0.05254	161	120	24	17
1874	They're the bosses dogs for Chrissakes! What chance do we have for advancement?	1.3602	0.04602	186	134	37	15
1875	Janice, get your act together before they replace you too.	1.3602	0.04664	186	135	35	16
1876	With my Masters Degree, I thought I'd be top dog quickly. I was so wrong.	1.3600	0.04451	175	122	43	10
1877	I wish the boss would stop saying “good boy” to all the new hires.	1.3600	0.04667	175	125	37	13
1878	I'm just saying, if they get kibble, we should get pretzels.	1.3600	0.04737	175	126	35	14
1879	...then last week they caught Checkers browsing cat videos	1.3598	0.04729	164	116	37	11
1880	The website says "diverse work culture," Cliff.	1.3598	0.04401	164	112	45	7
1881	You hear that high pitch sound too?	1.3598	0.04807	164	117	35	12
1882	One followed Tom in on Friday and another followed Trudi in over the weekend. They kept on following people in and now they run the place.	1.3598	0.04807	164	117	35	12
1883	There are some real bitches working around here	1.3596	0.04813	178	130	32	16
1884	It's the internet. No one knows.	1.3596	0.04471	178	125	42	11
1885	Did I just hear the mission is to bury a bone on Mars?	1.3596	0.04679	178	128	36	14
1886	They send licks instead of likes.	1.3596	0.04400	178	124	44	10
1887	Let go to the dog park. I bet nobody's there.	1.3596	0.04611	178	127	38	13
1888	Our voice recognition software only knows like 15 words	1.3595	0.05131	153	111	29	13
1889	Don't you miss the days when they communicated by sniffing each other's butts?	1.3595	0.04961	153	109	33	11
1890	the one beside me is acting like a total bitch	1.3593	0.04746	167	119	36	12
1891	Dennis, I will pay you to get a dog sitter.	1.3593	0.04969	167	122	30	15
1892	Let's not try to make them feel like they're different, okay?	1.3591	0.04420	181	127	43	11
1893	Who? Who? Who let the dogs in?	1.3588	0.04380	170	117	45	8
1894	Dude, I don't know, they're dogs!	1.3588	0.04975	170	125	29	16
1895	But if we used cats, they would eat the mice	1.3588	0.04612	170	120	39	11
1896	Are we the only people working like dogs at this company?	1.3588	0.04833	170	123	33	14
1897	And yesterday, I caught him watching “Poodles Gone Wild!”	1.3587	0.04635	184	133	36	15
1898	I can't hear a thing on this new high band wave.	1.3586	0.04572	198	145	35	18
1899	Sure they are cute, but can they code?	1.3586	0.04342	198	141	43	14
1900	Sometimes I feel like we're the only ones who can think long-term around here	1.3585	0.04745	159	112	37	10
1901	Last week it was tweeters, this week it's woofers! What's next week?	1.3585	0.04910	159	114	33	12
1902	And, do you have any pet peeves?	1.3585	0.05070	159	116	29	14
1903	I preferred when they smoked cigars and played around the table.	1.3584	0.04702	173	124	36	13
1904	We had three cats in last week, but every one of them ate the mouse.	1.3584	0.04773	173	125	34	14
1905	We're having good results with the pet match site, but some of our pups complain that prospective owners don't smell like their profiles would suggest."	1.3584	0.04482	173	121	42	10
1906	How do they type?	1.3584	0.04912	173	127	30	16
1907	I had no idea you weren't a dog!	1.3584	0.04630	173	123	38	12
1908	That's not my stomach growling!	1.3583	0.04643	187	136	35	16
1909	I told you, this job is really going to the dogs.	1.3583	0.04705	187	137	33	17
1910	They don’t like to be called “pets” and are offended by the term “dog” so we usually go with “four-legged butt-sniffers.”	1.3580	0.05001	162	118	30	14
1911	Everyone here keeps sending me human videos!	1.3580	0.05152	162	120	26	16
1912	Sam, they do know we're a startup, right? We can only pay them two biscuits per hour.	1.3580	0.04714	176	127	35	14
1913	Jim, I'm telling you, their byte is worse then their bark.	1.3580	0.04645	176	126	37	13
1914	I hear they're teaching coding down at the shelter.	1.3580	0.04714	176	127	35	14
1915	What makes you think it's ok to brush up against my leg like that?	1.3580	0.04503	176	124	41	11
1916	If we were everyone’s best friend we’d also have their sales numbers!	1.3579	0.04341	190	134	44	12
1917	I thought this would be a safe place to work but the dogs try to hump me more than the men ever did.	1.3576	0.04935	165	120	31	14
1918	Jeff keeps buying tennis balls with company money, that's the fifth time this week should I say something to management?	1.3575	0.04101	193	133	51	9
1919	"This is ridiculous; my mouse now has fleas!"	1.3575	0.04231	193	135	47	11
1920	You'd be surprised how many of them are into kitty porn during working hours.	1.3571	0.04797	168	121	34	13
1921	What part of Pets-R-us didn't you understand?	1.3571	0.04469	182	129	41	12
1922	They're 'service animals'	1.3571	0.04569	168	118	40	10
1923	Since the cat showed them how to use the mouse, gaming has taken on a different meaning.	1.3571	0.04430	196	141	40	15
1924	This company diversity program has gotten way out of hand.	1.3567	0.04437	171	119	43	9
1925	If you don't stop humming "Who Let the Dogs Out?" I will literally vomit on this keyboard. Literally.	1.3567	0.04437	171	119	43	9
1926	How can we be expected to get anything done with all the yapping going on on?	1.3567	0.04737	171	123	35	13
1927	I think they're barking up the wrong tree.	1.3567	0.04590	171	121	39	11
1928	‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks’, my ass!	1.3567	0.04737	171	123	35	13
1929	The boss hasn't called me "good girl" either, I don't know what's going.	1.3565	0.04292	216	157	41	18
1930	We shouldn't have complained about the Gen Xer's. At least didn't mark their territory!	1.3564	0.04103	202	141	50	11
1931	It's management's strategy to avoid unionization.	1.3564	0.04101	188	129	51	8
1932	Seriously, you gotta use your canine name, or you'll never sell anything.	1.3564	0.04304	188	132	45	11
1933	This outsourcing is getting ridiculous.	1.3563	0.04608	174	124	38	12
1934	Word of advice: everyone's a bitch here.	1.3563	0.05152	174	132	22	20
1935	The bosses love them. They don't smoke, and, they never ask for a coffee-break.	1.3562	0.04884	160	115	33	12
1936	I think it has something to do with that Diversity Sensitivity Training we skipped last week.	1.3562	0.04551	160	111	41	8
1937	Upper management did say they were going to be "very dogmatic about creating a more inclusive workplace," but maybe I misinterpreted what that means.	1.3562	0.04551	160	111	41	8
1938	He just ate my sandwich when I wasn't looking."	1.3560	0.04509	191	138	38	15
1939	In a call center, no one knows you’re a D-O-G	1.3560	0.04385	191	136	42	13
1940	If I have to listen to Who let the dogs out one more time	1.3559	0.04482	177	125	41	11
1941	For the last time, I'm POSITIVE they can't understand us!	1.3556	0.04360	180	126	44	10
1942	Who does truffles think she is, barking orders at us like that.	1.3556	0.04360	180	126	44	10
1943	Did they tell you to sit and stay?	1.3555	0.04205	211	151	45	15
1944	Are they Sirius?	1.3554	0.04984	166	122	29	15
1945	Whatever you do, don't say "Down".	1.3554	0.04682	166	118	37	11
1946	It's mostly poker	1.3554	0.04603	166	117	39	10
1947	You're asking me to fetch the coffee?	1.3553	0.04352	197	141	42	14
1948	Why do we have to go to a seminar on how to roll over and play dead?	1.3553	0.04887	152	108	34	10
1949	They'll fetch anything!	1.3553	0.04797	152	107	36	9
1950	And...don't keep calling me the only two-legged bitch in the room	1.3552	0.04582	183	132	37	14
1951	Y’know, Will, when they said that I’d be doing lab work...	1.3552	0.04582	183	132	37	14
1952	House training is so 1980s. Now it's all about IT training.	1.3552	0.04097	183	125	51	7
1953	They didn't even invite me to their poker night!	1.3550	0.04774	169	122	34	13
1954	More like: THE Man's best friend.	1.3550	0.04774	169	122	34	13
1955	These new temps work like dogs...	1.3550	0.04547	169	119	40	10
1956	Since when did we stop printing in color?	1.3547	0.05129	172	130	23	19
1957	Does the one next to you keep asking for keyboard help?	1.3547	0.04714	172	124	35	13
1958	While we were busy sharing cute cat videos and ordering exotic takeout online, they've developed a hedge fund trading strategy!"	1.3547	0.04568	172	122	39	11
1959	Just pretend you are a service animal.	1.3545	0.04350	189	134	43	12
1960	I mean, they said we'd be working with the big dogs, but...	1.3545	0.04219	189	132	47	10
1961	Sure they're quiet now, but wait till they start working on their ruff drafts!	1.3545	0.04350	189	134	43	12
1962	Has this cultural diversity thing gone a little too far?	1.3544	0.04313	158	107	46	5
1963	But noooo. I sniff one butt and HR gets all weird about it.	1.3543	0.04514	175	124	40	11
1964	If they get that brain pill, why can’t we?	1.3539	0.04532	178	127	39	12
1965	You and I are the last two human beings willing to work in such a heartless, racist, homophobic, anti-semitic, self-serving, narcissistic, reckless, dangerous, and irrational presidential administration.	1.3539	0.04670	178	129	35	14
1966	Okay, so I told the recruitment agency I liked working with dogs	1.3539	0.04670	178	129	35	14
1967	I'm here on the diversity program too.	1.3539	0.04601	178	128	37	13
1968	This is not the best time to be sharing cat pictures	1.3538	0.04258	195	138	45	12
1969	Just keep the tummy rubs up and you can get away with anything.	1.3537	0.04796	164	118	34	12
1970	Gotta admit I miss the old days when they were happy just hanging around sniffing each other's butts	1.3535	0.04450	198	144	38	16
1971	I can’t hear anything but these sub-woofers.	1.3533	0.04836	150	106	35	9
1972	This explains the yellow puddle at the water cooler...	1.3533	0.04836	150	106	35	9
1973	I'm not sure if human resources is capable of handling my complaint.	1.3533	0.04811	167	121	33	13
1974	I can't believe the boss wants us to train them.	1.3533	0.04735	167	120	35	12
1975	It just occurred to me; how do we know the customers aren't dogs?	1.3533	0.04361	184	130	43	11
1976	I should preface this comment by telling you that my best friend is a dog.	1.3529	0.04601	170	121	38	11
1977	I wish they would turn off the cat videos!	1.3529	0.04676	170	122	36	12
1978	It's our new tele-barketing initiative.	1.3529	0.04572	187	136	36	15
1979	I think it has something to do with reparations and affirmative action.	1.3529	0.04509	187	135	38	14
1980	...and they're so dang loyal!	1.3529	0.04246	187	131	46	10
1981	Seen the early retirement package? That farm in the country sounds terrific!"	1.3529	0.05202	153	113	26	14
1982	At least they're office-broken.	1.3529	0.04447	170	119	42	9
1983	The smell I can deal with, but the fleas are unbearable.	1.3529	0.04447	170	119	42	9
1984	Watch out for the border collie.	1.3526	0.04520	190	138	37	15
1985	I found the only people that will work for less than Millennials.	1.3526	0.04763	173	126	33	14
1986	Should I be wearing a collar?	1.3526	0.04471	173	122	41	10
1987	They said it was a human-friendly office.	1.3526	0.04620	156	109	39	8
1988	It's a dog eat dog world; why do we even try to compete?	1.3526	0.04965	156	113	31	12
1989	It's a new menu. Save is sit and send is fetch.	1.3526	0.04881	156	112	33	11
1990	I told them to fetch the data, but they just find it and drop it without me.	1.3526	0.04881	156	112	33	11
1991	....and another thing -- everytime I get an email notification these guys start to salivate....	1.3523	0.04773	176	129	32	15
1992	It is your fault that we are here. Why can't you just sit when you are told?	1.3523	0.04973	176	132	26	18
1993	When will we update our company policy on squirrel videos?	1.3522	0.04733	159	113	36	10
1994	Every time my phone rings, he drools all over his keyboard.	1.3522	0.05136	159	118	26	15
1995	Shhh...don’t let anyone hear you say “bitches” or HR will be here in a heartbeat.	1.3520	0.04580	179	129	37	13
1996	I thought they said we were joining the K-9 unit !	1.3520	0.04580	179	129	37	13
1997	Yes, but I know he's a dog!	1.3520	0.04715	179	131	33	15
1998	Bella on station two is such a bitch.	1.3519	0.04834	162	117	33	12
1999	What's with the media hounds?	1.3519	0.05141	162	121	25	16
2000	You get used to the bathrooms after a few days.	1.3519	0.04505	162	113	41	8
2001	THEY seem to think it's OK to slink off to the nap room every half hour!	1.3516	0.04321	182	128	44	10
2002	They were Instagram Famous puppies who aren’t as cute anymore.	1.3516	0.04321	182	128	44	10
2003	Who knew Bring Your Pet to Work Day would be like this?!?	1.3515	0.04614	165	117	38	10
2004	This place is such a good boys club.	1.3515	0.04772	165	119	34	12
2005	I not saying it's one of the new staffers, but I just stepped in some doody over by the copy machine.	1.3515	0.04999	165	122	28	15
2006	This artificial intelligence is getting out of hand.	1.3515	0.04533	165	116	40	9
2007	They thought “Bring Your Pet To Work Day” meant bring your pet to work.	1.3514	0.05240	148	109	26	13
2008	Well, except for the fleas...	1.3514	0.04540	185	134	37	14
2009	I feel like I'm the only one in the office who finds the "Good Boy of the Month" award to be misogynistic.	1.3512	0.05076	168	126	25	17
2010	Told you the place was going to the dogs.	1.3512	0.04860	168	123	31	14
2011	Ever since they removed the keyboards, anyone can get a job around here.	1.3512	0.04787	168	122	33	13
2012	This is not the doggie style I anticipated.	1.3512	0.05005	168	125	27	16
2013	I still haven't found the computer lab, only computer terriers.	1.3512	0.04479	168	118	41	9
2014	It's bring your dog to work day!	1.3512	0.04712	168	121	35	12
2015	I mean, they did says it’s a dog-friendly office.	1.3510	0.04810	151	107	35	9
2016	But nobody is scooping the break room.	1.3509	0.04503	171	121	40	10
2017	Let's take a break and play 'fetch'	1.3509	0.04653	171	123	36	12
2018	This isn't how I pictured obedience school."	1.3509	0.04799	171	125	32	14
2019	How did they ever get into this college?	1.3508	0.04439	191	138	39	14
2020	When did the IT department get support animals?	1.3506	0.04469	154	106	42	6
2021	I don't know about you, but "who's a good boy?" doesn't count as an employee benefit.	1.3506	0.04597	174	125	37	12
2022	Rufus jut told me that bitch in accounting is in heat. And she likes it human-style...	1.3506	0.04739	174	127	33	14
2023	Everyone I work with is such a bitch.	1.3506	0.04597	174	125	37	12
2024	This company ties advancement to loyalty. And I'm supposed to be happy about this?	1.3506	0.04739	174	127	33	14
2025	Bring Your Pet To Work Day is getting a little out of hand.	1.3503	0.04855	157	113	33	11
2026	Really, Jim, you have to bark out orders, too?	1.3503	0.04770	157	112	35	10
2027	It kills me that they're so good at this when I'm all thumbs.	1.3503	0.04415	157	108	43	6
2028	They’re Lori Loughlin’s dogs.	1.3503	0.04883	177	132	28	17
2029	It was bad enough when we had to compete with immigrants for entry-level jobs.	1.3503	0.04613	177	128	36	13
2030	Didn't you read Animal Farm?	1.3503	0.04251	177	123	46	8
2031	I know. She wears the same outfit every day...	1.3503	0.04251	177	123	46	8
2032	What's with all the cat video pop ups?	1.3500	0.04558	180	130	37	13
2033	So apparently now dogs think, we're THEIR best friend.	1.3500	0.04420	180	128	41	11
2034	Did you hear they hired a border collie as our new manager?	1.3500	0.04626	180	131	35	14
2035	At this rate I'll never work my way up to the corner kennel.	1.3500	0.04873	160	116	32	12
2036	Data retrievers are hacking me.	1.3500	0.04693	180	132	33	15
2037	I can't stand it. The one next to me is listening to dog whistles.	1.3500	0.04297	200	144	42	14
2038	I swear, this new temp agency is sending us their dogs.	1.3497	0.04439	183	131	40	12
2039	Our new workplace harassment policy doesn’t cover half of what these guys do!	1.3497	0.04301	183	129	44	10
2040	Why did you have to blow that stupid whistle?	1.3497	0.04572	183	133	36	14
2041	No one is going to believe us when we tell them this is where all those dog whistle politics memes are created	1.3497	0.04439	183	131	40	12
2042	I told you, this bring your dog to work policy was a slippery slope!	1.3497	0.04730	163	117	35	11
2043	I don't get what the boss sees in these bitches.	1.3495	0.04519	186	135	37	14
2044	I tried to tell you, this job will change you.	1.3494	0.04670	166	119	36	11
2045	I told you they work us like dogs.	1.3494	0.04748	166	120	34	12
2046	Did you catch preferred pronouns?	1.3494	0.04748	166	120	34	12
2047	For years I've been saying that this place is going to the dogs, and now it's happened.	1.3494	0.04591	166	118	38	10
2048	Do you sometimes get the sense that this diversity initiative has gone too far?	1.3492	0.04341	189	135	42	12
2049	Do you know who ate my Snickers?	1.3492	0.04469	189	137	38	14
2050	I don't get it, either; but, on your next call try whining and heavy breathing.	1.3491	0.04535	169	120	39	10
2051	Honestly, you men are so disgusting; every time I walk into the room, Rex looks at me like I’m a piece of meat.	1.3491	0.04612	169	121	37	11
2052	Yes, yes, Hunter. I noticed.	1.3491	0.05050	169	127	25	17
2053	This is not what I meant when I told you to find candidates who could sniff out a good scandal, Tom.	1.3491	0.04836	169	124	31	14
2054	Quit it already with the, Who Let The Dogs Out.	1.3491	0.04612	169	121	37	11
2055	Now I'm the last one to be against diversification...	1.3490	0.04658	149	104	38	7
2056	I think you might have the wrong bark code.	1.3490	0.04849	149	106	34	9
2057	Bring your dog to work day has really gotten out of hand.	1.3490	0.05033	149	108	30	11
2058	I can’t believe how much my parents paid to get me in here.	1.3490	0.04419	192	139	39	14
2059	What do we have to do, in order to earn a collar?	1.3488	0.04327	172	120	44	8
2060	Service dogs? Really?	1.3487	0.04058	195	136	50	9
2061	But why did they add a coding category to the Westminster Dog Show in the first place?	1.3486	0.04786	175	129	31	15
2062	He said that going on walks just didn't provide enough mental stimulation.	1.3486	0.04575	175	126	37	12
2063	Guess I missed the memo about Take Your Dog toWork Day.	1.3486	0.04354	175	123	43	9
2064	It's olay. Online, no one knows you're not a dog.	1.3484	0.05145	155	115	26	14
2065	This constant barking of orders is driving me crazy.	1.3484	0.04895	155	112	32	11
2066	You see the email? No vegan options at the company picnic again!	1.3483	0.04451	178	127	40	11
2067	I think we're stuck in that "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog" cartoon.	1.3483	0.04306	178	125	44	9
2068	I’m not dogist. I just don’t like being pawed.	1.3483	0.04379	178	126	42	10
2069	I don't mind that they work for treats, but I have had it with the damn squeaky toy mice.	1.3483	0.04337	201	146	40	15
2070	How do I prove I'm not a dog?	1.3481	0.04912	158	115	31	12
2071	It’s some kind of on-line poker tournament.	1.3481	0.04745	158	113	35	10
2072	I'm for diversity, too, but it still smells in here.	1.3481	0.04111	181	125	49	7
2073	Are you the one making that panting noise?	1.3481	0.04185	181	126	47	8
2074	Okay, I will admit they aren't old but I think coding goes way beyond a 'new trick'.	1.3478	0.04419	184	132	40	12
2075	When you told me this job involved working with animals, I didn't quite expect THIS!	1.3478	0.04601	161	114	38	9
2076	I taught him how to sit and roll over...now look at him!	1.3478	0.04429	161	112	42	7
2077	At least the cats had a litter box	1.3478	0.04351	184	131	42	11
2078	Three dogs, and not one of them will fetch the coffee.	1.3476	0.04167	187	131	47	9
2079	It’s the dogma that really drives me crazy!	1.3476	0.04938	164	121	29	14
2080	I wish Sheila would stop barking orders. She's sooo annoying	1.3476	0.04784	164	119	33	12
2081	...a wet sloppy kiss, his paws were all over me! Then he wouldn’t sit stay!	1.3476	0.04705	164	118	35	11
2082	I heard they're moving our office to a new business P-A-R-K.	1.3476	0.05087	164	123	25	16
2083	They were a lot more sociable before social media.	1.3476	0.04625	164	117	37	10
2084	have you seen my usb stick?	1.3474	0.04257	190	135	44	11
2085	When I started my drive and opened Windows they all started barking!	1.3474	0.04633	190	141	32	17
2086	Psst. Hey new guy. Be careful around Coco the receptionist. She can be a real bitch.	1.3474	0.04191	190	134	46	10
2087	Okay, seriously Dan. When will they realize that "restroom breaks" are meant for the restroom?	1.3474	0.04322	190	136	42	12
2088	You should definitely bring your lunch.	1.3473	0.04489	167	118	40	9
2089	I heard a full time position will be available in seven years.	1.3473	0.04874	167	123	30	14
2090	I warned you. I had a bad feeling about bring your dog to work Fridays.	1.3473	0.04568	167	119	38	10
2091	Can we talk about the elephant in the breakroom, please?	1.3473	0.04568	167	119	38	10
2092	Do I do four woofs or five woofs if she's giving birth to puppies in her car and I want to tell her the ambulance has been dispatched?	1.3472	0.04521	193	142	35	16
2093	All I'm saying is, he's made so many sales this month, the least he could do is throw me a bone.	1.3471	0.04276	170	118	45	7
2094	I didn’t get into journalism thinking I’d have to do this much butt sniffing.	1.3469	0.04353	196	142	40	14
2095	I don’t mind going for a walk with him, but I don’t want to give him the wrong idea.” -Josh Gartner, Brookly	1.3468	0.04228	173	120	46	7
2096	This admissions thing is getting out of hand	1.3468	0.04891	173	129	28	16
2097	I hear they originally started "Grumpy Cat" as a smear campaign.	1.3468	0.04307	173	121	44	8
2098	So who has been a good boy?	1.3468	0.04460	173	123	40	10
2099	I think the #WoofToo Movement has gone too far!	1.3466	0.04182	176	122	47	7
2100	Seriously, throw me a bone.	1.3466	0.04481	176	126	39	11
2101	How am I supposed to know if dog biscuits are gluten-free?	1.3466	0.04762	176	130	31	15
2102	What did you say again seperates us from the other animals?	1.3464	0.04935	153	111	31	11
2103	I just don't have the heart to tell them we know they're dogs.	1.3464	0.04705	179	132	32	15
2104	How come they can remember their password and I can't?	1.3464	0.04358	179	127	42	10
2105	This is truly amazing. And I thought their ability to play poker was impressive!	1.3464	0.04212	179	125	46	8
2106	No wonder The American Kennel Club gives us high marks for employee diversity!	1.3462	0.04583	182	133	35	14
2107	Are you having trouble handling the higher pitches, too?	1.3462	0.04380	182	130	41	11
2108	I warned you it was a real dog-eat-dog workplace."	1.3462	0.04649	182	134	33	15
2109	It's the new trend of service animals.	1.3462	0.04714	182	135	31	16
2110	I didn't realize this is what they meant when they said I could bring my dog to work.	1.3462	0.04714	182	135	31	16
2111	Hey, you want to go chase some cats after work?	1.3457	0.04479	188	137	37	14
2112	If they want to stop all the cat videos, why not tweak the algorithm?	1.3457	0.04822	162	118	32	12
2113	I'm sorry, but a chew toy and the occasional "Good doggy" just isn't going to pay the rent.	1.3457	0.04493	162	114	40	8
2114	I was just getting used to being a team member and now I have to be a pack animal.	1.3457	0.04742	162	117	34	11
2115	Our chance for advancement has now been limited to pissing up a lamppost!	1.3457	0.04660	162	116	36	10
2116	There's a porta potty outside for us.	1.3456	0.05258	136	99	27	10
2117	Now I understand why this training session is called "learning new tricks."	1.3455	0.04602	165	118	37	10
2118	Geez, must everyone around here be a brown-noser?	1.3455	0.04913	165	122	29	14
2119	Do you have any treats?	1.3452	0.04386	168	118	42	8
2120	The WiFi password? It's k9bowwow.	1.3452	0.04700	168	122	34	12
2121	I thought they could help sniff out the bugs.	1.3452	0.04624	168	121	36	11
2122	...and another thing, they take way too many potty breaks.	1.3452	0.04700	168	122	34	12
2123	Help me out here. Are tennis balls good for your teeth?	1.3452	0.04304	168	117	44	7
2124	I think they're too embarrassed to watch the cat videos at their house.	1.3452	0.04274	197	142	42	13
2125	I hate that bitch!	1.3450	0.04517	200	149	33	18
2126	On the Internet no one can tell if you are a human being!	1.3448	0.04586	174	126	36	12
2127	They heard the internet was full of spam.	1.3448	0.04729	174	128	32	14
2128	Wanna go for a walk and sniff some lampposts or what?	1.3448	0.04513	174	125	38	11
2129	We may have a problem. I hear these guys are working for half of what we are being paid.	1.3448	0.04439	174	124	40	10
2130	So the deal is, they've been brought in to fetch data. But, don't worry, their barks are worse than their bytes.	1.3446	0.04671	177	130	33	14
2131	I don't mind having to brew the coffee every morning, but one of these guys should be able to fetch the stapler.	1.3446	0.04602	177	129	35	13
2132	What a suck-up! Wags his tail everytime the boss comes around. Frank Buckley Andover, MA	1.3446	0.04239	177	124	45	8
2133	They didn't mean you should literally bring your dog to work.	1.3446	0.04602	177	129	35	13
2134	Company headquarters said it's cheaper than outsourcing to Asia.	1.3444	0.04338	180	128	42	10
2135	On the Internet, nobody knows, but it's you and me who can't get through a single staff meeting without being barked at.	1.3444	0.04338	180	128	42	10
2136	I didn’t know we could listen to music	1.3444	0.04409	180	129	40	11
2137	They work for treats and 'good boys'..."	1.3444	0.04193	180	126	46	8
2138	These guys just have a nose for coding.	1.3444	0.04409	180	129	40	11
2139	Looks like we’re being eased out.	1.3444	0.04479	180	130	38	12
2140	Quickly, what is my dog name, today?	1.3444	0.04887	151	109	32	10
2141	You and I can't compete with these telebarketers	1.3444	0.05319	151	114	22	15
2142	These guys are geniuses but management has to do something about tbe fleas.	1.3443	0.04291	183	130	43	10
2143	Is it just me, or has this business really gone to the dogs?	1.3443	0.04496	183	133	37	13
2144	All I'm saying is I'd be more efficient too, if corporate gave me free trips to the park.	1.3443	0.04291	183	130	43	10
2145	I knew “Bring your dog to work” was a set up!	1.3442	0.04732	154	110	35	9
2146	I told you Randy, I don't date lead programmers only top dogs.	1.3442	0.04994	154	113	29	12
2147	The work isn't so bad, but the weekly meet 'n greet is a must-miss.	1.3442	0.04994	154	113	29	12
2148	I’ve got a feeling we’re in the wrong class.	1.3441	0.04379	186	134	40	12
2149	I heard they now want to be on the dental plan.	1.3439	0.04842	157	114	32	11
2150	Well, someone peed on my keyboard.	1.3439	0.05008	157	116	28	13
2151	I don't know.....the memo said Rover take over.	1.3439	0.04331	189	136	41	12
2152	I can’t take it much longer. There’s always a bone of contention among them.	1.3438	0.04696	160	115	35	10
2153	Pet-friendly," they said	1.3438	0.04284	192	138	42	12
2154	I was afraid we'd lose our jobs to Artificial Intelligence.	1.3436	0.04797	163	119	32	12
2155	It’s been like this ever since that New Yorker cartoon.	1.3436	0.04875	163	120	30	13
2156	I can't get past "paw ID"	1.3434	0.04887	166	123	29	14
2157	Management thought hiring them could reduce time wasted on watching cat videos	1.3434	0.04417	166	117	41	8
2158	I’m not threatened, but ordering out for lunch has become quite a challenge.	1.3434	0.04498	166	118	39	9
2159	Have you seen my ball?	1.3434	0.04887	166	123	29	14
2160	And some people worry illegal immigrants are taking our jobs!	1.3433	0.05308	134	98	26	10
2161	This aFURmative action policy is getting ridiculous!	1.3432	0.04677	169	123	34	12
2162	How can he possibly expect people to believe his name is really ‘Robert?’	1.3430	0.04905	172	129	27	16
2163	He won't stop listening to Spotify."	1.3430	0.04692	172	126	33	13
2164	I think I'll skip this year's company picnic.	1.3429	0.05342	140	104	24	12
2165	This outsourcing is getting out of hand!	1.3429	0.04775	175	130	30	15
2166	You'll get the hang of it, but I'm telling you: Don't say "doggie bag." Don't mention 'Dog Day Afternoon' or 'Straw Dogs' or 'Reservoir Dogs,' either. Same with 'woofers and tweeters."	1.3429	0.04418	175	125	40	10
2167	I saw my lunch in someone else's bowl!	1.3429	0.04267	175	123	44	8
2168	Their work ethic is really making us millennials look bad!	1.3427	0.04510	178	129	37	12
2169	They have found a kennel that accepts Obama Care!	1.3427	0.04510	178	129	37	12
2170	I'm getting so tired of being treated like a dog around here.	1.3425	0.04527	181	132	36	13
2171	He put his paw on me, should I report this to H.R.?	1.3425	0.04458	181	131	38	12
2172	Apparently minimum wage laws don't apply to them	1.3425	0.04660	181	134	32	15
2173	All day long, “Fetch ”, “Sit”,”Speak”,I just can’t take it anymore!	1.3425	0.04389	181	130	40	11
2174	I think we're just chasing our tails.	1.3424	0.04340	184	132	41	11
2175	I’m sick and tired of working like a dog.	1.3424	0.04541	184	135	35	14
2176	I know this is supposed to be a diverse company, but I'm tired of working for kibble and the occasional tummy rub!	1.3423	0.04928	149	108	31	10
2177	It's an app for on-demand walksharing.	1.3422	0.04425	187	136	38	13
2178	I'm worried about the "pet friendly" concept of the company.	1.3422	0.04425	187	136	38	13
2179	Scientists say most dogs know as many as a hundred words. I think they're over qualified.	1.3421	0.04860	152	110	32	10
2180	I can’t find the employee bathroom, either.	1.3417	0.04297	199	145	40	14
2181	This guy next to me said he's been here 70 years!	1.3416	0.04502	161	114	39	8
2182	What's our target demographic in dog years?	1.3416	0.04502	161	114	39	8
2183	My station has been marked.	1.3413	0.04712	167	122	33	12
2184	I mean, am I even allowed to use their bathroom?	1.3412	0.04801	170	126	30	14
2185	I'm telling you, they're alright, just don't forward them any cat videos.	1.3412	0.04501	170	122	38	10
2186	I don't mind the dogs but who's this dude on my right?	1.3412	0.04501	170	122	38	10
2187	He borrowed my glasses two hours ago but he's not giving them back!	1.3410	0.04811	173	129	29	15
2188	On the Internet, no one knows they are dogs.	1.3410	0.04881	173	130	27	16
2189	I signed up for a different study but the snacks in the little bowl are so good I stayed.	1.3410	0.04669	173	127	33	13
2190	They’ll do anything for a treat!	1.3410	0.03994	217	156	48	13
2191	Do you ever feel like the last person who still has to use public computer labs?	1.3409	0.04542	176	128	36	12
2192	Corporate should make them speak English.	1.3409	0.04683	176	130	32	14
2193	I’d trade them all for a good Lab.	1.3409	0.04613	176	129	34	13
2194	We're treated like dogs here!	1.3409	0.04470	176	127	38	11
2195	I've been trying to organize, but they all think belly scratches are better than parental leave.	1.3408	0.04559	179	131	35	13
2196	Looks like a new AI: Animal Intelligence	1.3408	0.04627	179	132	33	14
2197	This all started with a small group of them sitting around a poker table one night. Do you have an extra flea collar I can borrow?	1.3408	0.04826	179	135	27	17
2198	How come the boss lets these guys off the leash all the time and we get stuck picking up the slack?	1.3408	0.04761	179	134	29	16
2199	Don't worry - they'll always need us to speak with Siri and Alexa.	1.3408	0.04489	179	130	37	12
2200	I can't believe Spot got the promotion ahead of me; he hasn't even been here that long.	1.3407	0.04506	182	133	36	13
2201	They’re literally begging for Yelp reviews.	1.3407	0.04573	182	134	34	14
2202	First Poker, now video games?	1.3405	0.04182	185	131	45	9
2203	Sure they're enthusiastic. But every single email is one big typo.	1.3405	0.04455	185	135	37	13
2204	Bitches be crazy.	1.3405	0.04648	185	138	31	16
2205	What are they yapping about?	1.3403	0.04357	191	139	39	13
2206	I'm beginning to think Mr. Fido's hiring process is heavily biased.	1.3403	0.04419	191	140	37	14
2207	It's adorable, but I'm guessing nobody else here wants to watch a cat video.	1.3402	0.03920	194	135	52	7
2208	These people wouldn’t know a funny caption if it bit them in the ass.	1.3401	0.05153	147	109	26	12
2209	They invited me to their poker game, but I’d feel like an outsider...	1.3400	0.04220	200	145	42	13
2210	When I blow the whistle on this place...	1.3399	0.04833	153	111	32	10
2211	Jason, did you even READ the ad before committing us to this temp job?	1.3397	0.04855	156	114	31	11
2212	I didn’t realize this was literally Jim’s “pet” project.	1.3397	0.04939	156	115	29	12
2213	The herd mentality in this place is unbelievable.	1.3396	0.04954	159	118	28	13
2214	This new one is kind of a bitch.	1.3396	0.04622	159	114	36	9
2215	... and they expect us to drink out of that bowl on the floor, too!	1.3395	0.04647	162	117	35	10
2216	I was expecting to be replaced by Artificial Intelligence, but DOGS?	1.3395	0.04647	162	117	35	10
2217	WHEN are they gonna replace this carpet?	1.3395	0.04564	162	116	37	9
2218	Are you going to play fetch after work?	1.3395	0.04729	162	118	33	11
2219	When I first got hired, this place was full of bulls and bears.	1.3394	0.04748	165	121	32	12
2220	How are 'service animals' giving us emotional support if they replace us?!	1.3394	0.04901	165	123	28	14
2221	Do you have any treats? I need this dog's terminal.	1.3393	0.04763	168	124	31	13
2222	They say they're species inclusive, bu do you see any cats here?	1.3392	0.04479	171	123	38	10
2223	He dropped the ball on that last trade.	1.3392	0.04555	171	124	36	11
2224	Between you and me, we wouldn't be in this situation if Fifi hadn't dropped the ball!	1.3392	0.04161	171	119	46	6
2225	I thought you were going to fetch me a cup of coffee.	1.3392	0.04555	171	124	36	11
2226	What am I supposed to do? They're comfort dogs.	1.3392	0.04243	171	120	44	7
2227	This is my first campaign office where I can't hear the whistles.	1.3391	0.04575	174	127	35	12
2228	I don't know? They just logged in and the beagle mix with the glasses said that Red Rover sent them over.	1.3391	0.04501	174	126	37	11
2229	I don’t think I have the concentration for this job. Let’s go chase a ball and get something to eat	1.3391	0.04991	174	133	23	18
2230	It's not so bad? Employee of the month is now who's a good boy.	1.3391	0.04575	174	127	35	12
2231	No Jerry, I don't think a mailman Halloween costume is a good idea.	1.3390	0.04376	177	127	40	10
2232	So these dogs understand Mandarin AND Goat?	1.3390	0.04302	177	126	42	9
2233	The Goat is sexting me!	1.3389	0.04605	180	133	33	14
2234	I'm just afraid they'll figure out their unconditional love was not worth it.	1.3388	0.04418	183	133	38	12
2235	We're no longer allowed to share cat memes.	1.3387	0.04368	186	135	39	12
2236	Anne from marketing is a real bitch!	1.3387	0.04434	186	136	37	13
2237	I’m not going to Petco again for lunch!	1.3387	0.04301	186	134	41	11
2238	Between A.I. and these guys, we don't have much time left.	1.3386	0.04188	189	135	44	10
2239	They're threatening to unionize because of carpal paw syndrome	1.3386	0.04449	189	139	36	14
2240	They're all googling the meaning of "humane".	1.3386	0.04385	189	138	38	13
2241	I’m not working for kibble, you know what I’m saying?	1.3385	0.04011	192	135	49	8
2242	The CEO's pet project is getting way out of hand!	1.3385	0.04274	192	139	41	12
2243	I didn't think this is what they meant when they said this was a pet-friendly work environment.	1.3385	0.04461	192	142	35	15
2244	I told you telemarketing is a dog eat dog world.	1.3382	0.04160	204	148	43	13
2245	How did you understand “bring your pets to work”?	1.3382	0.04394	207	155	34	18
2246	When they hired me I thought they asked if I knew DOS not DOG.	1.3382	0.03944	207	147	50	10
2247	Is it me, or has this place gone to the dogs?	1.3375	0.04766	160	117	32	11
2248	There are no good lunches to steal anymore.	1.3374	0.04623	163	118	35	10
2249	I think the boss is racist, in all the time I've worked here he's never once hired a cat!	1.3374	0.04784	163	120	31	12
2250	They said they would be good at sniffing things out! What?	1.3374	0.04704	163	119	33	11
2251	The oddest thing? Nothing but cat videos.	1.3374	0.04940	163	122	27	14
2252	Is it me, or is this place going to the dogs?	1.3374	0.04704	163	119	33	11
2253	well, on the internet, no one knows you are a dog...	1.3373	0.04645	166	121	34	11
2254	They keep hanging up on me because of my accent.	1.3373	0.04876	166	124	28	14
2255	They seem relaxed now, but wait ‘til you see the corporate softball games.	1.3373	0.04352	169	120	41	8
2256	Did you take my chew toy?	1.3372	0.04381	172	123	40	9
2257	Watch what you say. I heard she’s a real bitch.	1.3371	0.04480	175	127	37	11
2258	I'm just saying, how can I ask for a raise when my colleagues are being paid in kibble, Milkbones®️ and squeeky toys?	1.3371	0.04480	175	127	37	11
2259	It's a good place to get work done, but you might want to avoid cat videos.	1.3371	0.04428	178	129	38	11
2260	I don’t know that command. You’d better ask someone else.	1.3371	0.04499	178	130	36	12
2261	I thought monkeys were the only animals that could write code.	1.3371	0.04569	178	131	34	13
2262	And I thought we were being replaced by robots.	1.3371	0.04499	178	130	36	12
2263	Who the hell taught them to write code?	1.3371	0.04499	178	130	36	12
2264	They could at least pick up after themselves.	1.3371	0.04428	178	129	38	11
2265	On the internet, nobody knows I'm an attractive woman.	1.3370	0.04583	181	134	33	14
2266	I don't know who designed this new program, but I can't hear a thing.	1.3370	0.04650	181	135	31	15
2267	I guess they have a nose for it....	1.3370	0.04235	181	129	43	9
2268	This isn't the SAT exam?	1.3369	0.04214	187	134	43	10
2269	When they said training day, this is not what I had in mind	1.3369	0.03932	187	130	51	6
2270	Management has really gone to the dogs.	1.3368	0.04034	190	134	48	8
2271	Who’s a good boy?” Please. He does nothing but play online poker all day	1.3368	0.04127	193	138	45	10
2272	I’m tired of working like a dog.	1.3368	0.04127	193	138	45	10
2273	The syllabus said Animal Science Lab!	1.3366	0.04313	205	152	37	16
2274	K-911? Well, that sure explains a lot.	1.3357	0.04713	140	99	35	6
2275	This customer just keeps barking at me.	1.3355	0.05108	152	114	25	13
2276	When you said the internet had gone to the dogs, I thought you were talking about trolling.	1.3355	0.04602	155	111	36	8
2277	Does that mean they're sub-woofers?	1.3355	0.04781	155	113	32	10
2278	And all along, I thought you were the top dog!	1.3354	0.04544	158	113	37	8
2279	I really have a bone to pick with these guys.	1.3354	0.04822	161	119	30	12
2280	No, they’re anthropomorphology majors.	1.3354	0.04680	164	120	33	11
2281	And they never go for walks - they just post pictures of sticks on Instagram for their owners.	1.3354	0.04600	164	119	35	10
2282	Hey, try throwing the ball.	1.3353	0.04543	167	121	36	10
2283	Seriously, who called in the dogs?	1.3353	0.04382	167	119	40	8
2284	See what happens when they started bring your pets to work day.	1.3353	0.04543	167	121	36	10
2285	How are we supposed to compete with employees that are only getting paid with belly rubs?	1.3353	0.04463	167	120	38	9
2286	Your’re right. This place has really gone to the dogs!!	1.3353	0.04699	167	123	32	12
2287	The small one humped my leg. #MeShihTzu.	1.3353	0.04641	170	125	33	12
2288	She’s a real bitch	1.3353	0.04716	170	126	31	13
2289	Okay, this therapy animal thing is going too far...	1.3353	0.04566	170	124	35	11
2290	Donald Trump called me a Dog on twitter and now this is the only place that will hire me!	1.3353	0.04861	170	128	27	15
2291	Look, I'm all for a dog-friendly workplace but this has gone too far.	1.3353	0.04641	170	125	33	12
2292	We just received an update e-mail from the hospital. Mary had a lamb. Its little, a bit under 5 pounds.	1.3353	0.04861	170	128	27	15
2293	I go to the vending machine – all the trail mix has been replaced with kibble.	1.3353	0.04331	170	121	41	8
2294	It's not fair. WE don't get to bring toys or eat at our desks!	1.3353	0.04436	173	125	38	10
2295	Everyone's worried about automation, but they keep ignoring the real problem.	1.3353	0.04360	173	124	40	9
2296	Who logged the dogs out? Woof, Woof, Woof!	1.3352	0.04672	176	131	31	14
2297	I can't get any work done with his heavy breathing and panting!	1.3352	0.04310	176	126	41	9
2298	You're not going to make it here unless you like cat videos.	1.3352	0.04407	179	130	38	11
2299	Did you bring the cat?	1.3352	0.04547	179	132	34	13
2300	It's fine to be pet friendly, but I won't keep fixing his code.	1.3352	0.04262	179	128	42	9
2301	I know we've replacing the foreign call center but we still cant understand a word they say.	1.3352	0.04547	179	132	34	13
2302	Happy 'Take Your Human to Work Day.'	1.3352	0.04407	179	130	38	11
2303	I guess this is what they meant by a dog friendly internet cafe. Who knew?	1.3352	0.04427	182	133	37	12
2304	His glasses aren't fooling anyone.	1.3352	0.04287	182	131	41	10
2305	OK, I'm being a little dogmatic.	1.3352	0.04693	182	137	29	16
2306	The men's room is down the hall -- the one with a dog on three legs.	1.3351	0.04444	185	136	36	13
2307	The boss says they'll work for kibble!	1.3351	0.04574	185	138	32	15
2308	We're toast. They earn a fraction of our salary.	1.3351	0.04100	185	131	46	8
2309	Buster won't stop asking me to take him on a W-A-L-K.	1.3351	0.04241	185	133	42	10
2310	This is the third time this week Rover came into work with fleas.	1.3351	0.04085	191	136	46	9
2311	The network can't be fetched right now.	1.3351	0.04085	191	136	46	9
2312	... and because they're loyal.	1.3351	0.04174	194	140	43	11
2313	Give the new team a chance, I hear they have subwoofers	1.3333	0.04698	150	108	34	8
2314	I looked it up. Mr. Snuffles isn't even in the working dog group.	1.3333	0.04327	192	141	38	13
2315	No one knows your a human online!	1.3333	0.04489	174	127	36	11
2316	Something went VERY wrong in the interviews.	1.3333	0.04509	177	130	35	12
2317	The bad news is his breath is terrible. The good news is I can’t hear anything he’s listening to.	1.3333	0.04526	180	133	34	13
2318	I told you, no, I don’t know how they use the spacebar!	1.3333	0.04755	156	114	32	10
2319	Nobody actually reads these captions. They're all picked by a robot. That's why the winner is never really funny.	1.3333	0.04727	180	136	28	16
2320	There are white collars, blue collars, and now... dog collars?	1.3333	0.04389	171	123	39	9
2321	They may have fleas, but their code is bug-free.	1.3333	0.04092	195	140	45	10
2322	I'm thinking we may have taken affirmative action a step too far.	1.3333	0.04290	177	127	41	9
2323	What's with these bitches...?	1.3333	0.04541	183	136	33	14
2324	It’s true: This place has gone to the dogs.	1.3333	0.04501	189	141	33	15
2325	I should never have taught them how to use this ancestry website.	1.3333	0.04928	144	105	30	9
2326	I'm embarrassed that they can do it and I can't!	1.3333	0.04550	162	117	36	9
2327	Hope you're happy now that they took you up on your "Take Your Dog to Work."	1.3333	0.04521	168	122	36	10
2328	That’s it! No more Take Your Dog to Work Day.	1.3333	0.04437	177	129	37	11
2329	Frank, the one next to me just friended me on Facebook.	1.3333	0.04489	174	127	36	11
2330	Whistling isn't going to help anything.	1.3333	0.04389	171	123	39	9
2331	I don't mind the work; I do mind the kibble.	1.3333	0.04243	180	129	42	9
2332	It's just harder for women in this industry. They're not my best friends.	1.3333	0.04215	177	126	43	8
2333	What bugs me is that they never gossip	1.3333	0.04338	183	133	39	11
2334	How can they tell it’s not a dog online?	1.3333	0.04338	183	133	39	11
2335	It is someone from India asking for assistance and say they cannot understand me	1.3333	0.05100	159	121	23	15
2336	Last week my commission was a biscuit.	1.3333	0.04602	150	107	36	7
2337	I did hear that Comfort Dogs get special training.	1.3333	0.04277	168	119	42	7
2338	If you don't spell W-A-L-K, they go nuts and want to come with.	1.3333	0.04692	171	127	31	13
2339	The staff meeting won't be starting until we hear the whistle.	1.3333	0.04310	171	122	41	8
2340	Now I know why they put up that sign 'Warning: Dog Bytes.'	1.3333	0.04501	189	141	33	15
2341	When they said we'll be employing AI, I though it meant Artificial Intelligence, not Animal Intelligence!	1.3333	0.04576	165	120	35	10
2342	We're getting a lot of complaints about our customers not understanding our foreign accents!	1.3333	0.04735	165	122	31	12
2343	It's put your dog to work day.	1.3333	0.04290	186	135	40	11
2344	What next?! Bring your kid to work day??	1.3333	0.04625	189	143	29	17
2345	The evidence is not sufficient to establish who's a good boy.	1.3333	0.03960	195	138	49	8
2346	Rex makes a solid argument, the sign says “Dogs Allowed”!	1.3333	0.03898	177	122	51	4
2347	Best of all, our kibble breaks make me feel so much perkier than the old donuts and coffee.	1.3333	0.04357	186	136	38	12
2348	See? I told you "woof" was a terrible password.	1.3333	0.04193	201	147	41	13
2349	So much for a dog-friendly office	1.3333	0.04152	186	133	44	9
2350	One more debate over kibble brands in the break room and I quit.	1.3333	0.04243	180	129	42	9
2351	I hear they all went to M.U.T.	1.3333	0.04526	180	133	34	13
2352	This open seating plan stinks even worse when it rains.	1.3333	0.04512	192	144	32	16
2353	Why does everyone here keep asking us to go on a walk with them?	1.3333	0.04735	183	139	27	17
2354	They couldn't be satisfied teaching them to sit, fetch, roll over, Oh no!	1.3333	0.04406	183	134	37	12
2355	Well, I hear panting.	1.3316	0.04201	196	143	41	12
2356	The chief must have misheard me. I said we needed to pause this research.	1.3316	0.04291	190	139	39	12
2357	Do you think they are getting paid more than us?	1.3316	0.04403	187	138	36	13
2358	I think our days are numbered.	1.3316	0.04203	187	135	42	10
2359	Human Resources says they can't do anything about it.	1.3315	0.04366	181	132	38	11
2360	This is not what I thought "bring your pet to work day" meant.	1.3315	0.04639	181	136	30	15
2361	No, I didn't bring my dog to work. Did you?	1.3315	0.03999	181	127	48	6
2362	I hope the bark isn't worse than the byte	1.3315	0.04150	181	129	44	8
2363	They might be ok with the boss barking orders...	1.3315	0.04366	181	132	38	11
2364	The boss must have heard me when I said this job is so easy my dog could do it!	1.3315	0.04366	181	132	38	11
2365	Honestly, I feel like management has us chasing our tails on these reports	1.3315	0.04295	181	131	40	10
2366	I hear the new supervisor is a real S.O.B.?	1.3315	0.04487	178	131	35	12
2367	Number of Instagram followers just can't be our hiring criteria anymore!"	1.3315	0.04558	178	132	33	13
2368	Now they even have online obedience school!	1.3315	0.04344	178	129	39	10
2369	I’m all for equal pay, but I never thought they’d count experience in dog years.	1.3314	0.04393	175	127	38	10
2370	"Shouldn't our equal-opportunity-hiring policy include cats?"	1.3314	0.04393	175	127	38	10
2371	Hey, why don't we sneak out and go fetch a stick or something.	1.3314	0.04468	175	128	36	11
2372	No, he's not cute. He's creepy. He put his paws on my shoulders and licked the back of my head!	1.3314	0.04595	172	127	33	12
2373	I not sure but I think our days are numbered now that the head of HR is a veterinarian.	1.3314	0.04289	172	123	41	8
2374	We hired them to filter the dog-whistle content.	1.3314	0.04727	169	126	30	13
2375	...and they get overtime every day too because they’re paid in ‘dog hours’.	1.3314	0.04652	169	125	32	12
2376	Who's a good boy?" When did that become my job	1.3313	0.04553	166	121	35	10
2377	It all started with "bring your kid to work" day.	1.3313	0.04711	166	123	31	12
2378	Yo, I saw Jim licking his weiner.	1.3313	0.04927	163	123	26	14
2379	Doggone it, Stan, I think we're being phased out.	1.3313	0.04691	163	120	32	11
2380	So have you changed your mind about equal pay fior equal work?.	1.3313	0.04610	163	119	34	10
2381	The smaller dogs complained about the standing desks.	1.3313	0.04834	160	119	29	12
2382	Let’s face it; dogs are taking over desk jobs because they’re better at sitting on command.	1.3313	0.04583	160	116	35	9
2383	Do you think other family businesses operate like ours?	1.3313	0.04583	160	116	35	9
2384	We write the software, they write the manuals.	1.3312	0.04899	157	117	28	12
2385	What were you thinking for lunch, Kibbles or bits?	1.3312	0.04703	154	112	33	9
2386	These guys work like dogs.	1.3311	0.04577	151	108	36	7
2387	'I can work with anybody, but have you seen what they put in the vending machines?"	1.3311	0.04948	151	112	28	11
2388	Did your parents tell you that obedience school had a written exam?	1.3311	0.04537	148	105	37	6
2389	I am confused about affirmative action.	1.3310	0.05069	142	105	27	10
2390	He mentioned something about “Mating apps.”	1.3309	0.04722	139	99	34	6
2391	How much is that doggie in the window earning?	1.3300	0.04140	200	146	42	12
2392	One of them just told me to get off Facebook.	1.3300	0.04260	200	148	38	14
2393	This is all because I said they are working us like dogs.	1.3300	0.04017	200	144	46	10
2394	This is not what I had in mind when they said "diverse work environment."	1.3299	0.04289	194	143	38	13
2395	At least he shares his snacks with you. This one almost bit my hand off!	1.3299	0.04033	194	139	46	9
2396	I hear there's kibble in the break room.	1.3298	0.03936	191	135	49	7
2397	I don't get it - she has more followers than me!	1.3298	0.04272	191	140	39	12
2398	We shouldn’t have sneaked in here. Who knew the test to get a dog license is so hard?!	1.3298	0.04252	188	137	40	11
2399	Yesterday management admonished me for using the wrong gender neutral pronoun.	1.3297	0.04433	185	137	35	13
2400	The secret pact is never to reveal they don't know how to read.	1.3297	0.04298	185	135	39	11
2401	I think I might quit if they don't throw me a bone soon.	1.3297	0.04346	182	133	38	11
2402	I think I screwed up. The Internet just figured out I wasn't a dog.	1.3297	0.04346	182	133	38	11
2403	I think we're in the wrong library..	1.3296	0.04323	179	130	39	10
2404	To buy on Amazon it says, 'Fetch now.'	1.3296	0.04250	179	129	41	9
2405	Dude, that bitch is always eating at her desk.	1.3296	0.04466	179	132	35	12
2406	My new foreign language teacher is a German Shepherd!	1.3296	0.04323	179	130	39	10
2407	No one is brining me treats and telling me that I'm a "good girl".	1.3296	0.04466	179	132	35	12
2408	I don’t mind working with animals and the satyr guy, but the dog with glasses is just such a pretentious snob.	1.3295	0.04373	176	128	38	10
2409	I'm worried about my job...they literally rubbed my nose in my performance review!	1.3295	0.04144	176	125	44	7
2410	Human friendly office, my ass!	1.3295	0.04519	176	130	34	12
2411	The Coding Farm was bad, but my butt was never sniffed.	1.3295	0.04423	173	126	37	10
2412	I have a bone to pick with the hiring practices at this company.	1.3295	0.04717	173	130	29	14
2413	We brought in some subwoofers.	1.3295	0.04573	173	128	33	12
2414	The one next to me’s looking at porn. Weird stuff.	1.3294	0.04553	170	125	34	11
2415	My friend warned me that they work you like a dog here!	1.3294	0.04629	170	126	32	12
2416	Wow, free WiFi at Pet Smart, who knew?	1.3293	0.04912	167	127	25	15
2417	Have you even been trained?	1.3293	0.04912	167	127	25	15
2418	Is it still catfishing if they're dogs?	1.3293	0.04586	164	120	34	10
2419	Whatever you do, don’t call them ‘code monkeys.’	1.3293	0.04247	164	116	42	6
2420	I told you this place was going to the dogs!	1.3293	0.04504	164	119	36	9
2421	I can hardly ever get him to go for a walk anymore.	1.3293	0.04667	164	121	32	11
2422	On the Internet no one knows you're a human being.	1.3292	0.04967	161	122	25	14
2423	All friggin' day long its cat videos.	1.3292	0.04967	161	122	25	14
2424	HR says it's not their problem.	1.3292	0.04808	161	120	29	12
2425	Just put your lunch bag in the breakroom fridge. Dogs can't open refrigerators.	1.3290	0.04939	155	116	27	12
2426	Well, what did you expect from a company named the Big Woof?	1.3284	0.03774	204	144	53	7
2427	Who put in our budget twenty packs of rawhide and a grooming service?	1.3284	0.04242	201	149	38	14
2428	I told you we weren't right for the dog food recall hotline.	1.3284	0.04123	201	147	42	12
2429	The water cooler has been a real mess lately.	1.3282	0.04015	195	140	46	9
2430	I dropped the ball.	1.3282	0.04393	195	146	34	15
2431	I hate it when the moon is full.	1.3281	0.03988	192	137	47	8
2432	I don't get it... most of my friends love it when I share cat videos.	1.3280	0.03958	189	134	48	7
2433	Who could have guessed we'd be the best in our typing class?	1.3279	0.04326	183	134	38	11
2434	On the Internet they will never know that we are not dogs.	1.3279	0.04395	183	135	36	12
2435	It's going to be a ruff day.	1.3279	0.04256	183	133	40	10
2436	I’m so tired of training new bitches	1.3279	0.04463	183	136	34	13
2437	Robocalling didn't work so now they're trying Rover-calling	1.3279	0.04395	183	135	36	12
2438	I know I'm supposed to say they're all good boys, but honestly, I have to debug all of Sparky's code.	1.3279	0.04256	183	133	40	10
2439	AI is threatening, but at least it doesn’t have fleas	1.3279	0.04529	183	137	32	14
2440	I had my doubts, but they're kicking tail over there.	1.3279	0.04039	183	130	46	7
2441	I guess I'm not the only teacher's pet anymore.	1.3278	0.04375	180	132	37	11
2442	I've been here for three years now and my friends laugh when I describe this place as going to the dogs"	1.3278	0.03926	180	126	49	5
2443	By the smell of it, they've marked this department as their own.	1.3278	0.04230	180	130	41	9
2444	They do make me feel like one of the pack. Until the howling starts.	1.3278	0.04156	180	129	43	8
2445	Forget Flight 2203, it's your turn to retrieve the ball!	1.3277	0.04425	177	130	36	11
2446	It's time to jump ship, Rani. Before you know it, they'll be training us!	1.3277	0.04637	177	133	30	14
2447	no rest rooms. just a dog park.	1.3277	0.04425	177	130	36	11
2448	They said it was a bulldog market.	1.3276	0.04550	174	129	33	12
2449	They got bored playing frisbee.	1.3276	0.04623	174	130	31	13
2450	If you're so critical of interspecies speed dating, why are you here?	1.3276	0.04477	174	128	35	11
2451	Before Jim quit last month, he did warn us that we'd end up working like dogs if we stayed here.	1.3275	0.04296	171	123	40	8
2452	Psst! I got this sudden urge to go outside and chase a stick.	1.3275	0.04454	171	125	36	10
2453	At this company, they actually reward you for barking at the customers.	1.3275	0.04376	171	124	38	9
2454	It' the boss's pet project right now, we have to suck it up.	1.3274	0.04586	168	124	33	11
2455	On the internet, the dogs don't know you're a human.	1.3274	0.04586	168	124	33	11
2456	But they are being too dogmatic!	1.3274	0.04663	168	125	31	12
2457	They don’t know they’re dogs.	1.3274	0.04507	168	123	35	10
2458	Seriously Jeff, you can’t blame it on the dogs all the time.	1.3274	0.04427	168	122	37	9
2459	Since when has company policy allowed technical support pets?	1.3274	0.04507	168	123	35	10
2460	Google "arf" for me, would you?	1.3273	0.04562	165	121	34	10
2461	Sure their communication skills are weak, but they work for food.	1.3273	0.04799	165	124	28	13
2462	Could you please stop saying "woof?" at the end of every sentence?	1.3272	0.04620	162	119	33	10
2463	See spotify run.	1.3272	0.04702	162	120	31	11
2464	The executive team said they were going to hire and unleash a new breed of aggressive traders.	1.3272	0.04620	162	119	33	10
2465	Careful with your browser-- you have to accept all cookies.	1.3272	0.04536	162	118	35	9
2466	I don't know what's worse - the open floor plan or the fleas.	1.3270	0.04846	159	119	28	12
2467	So I said, 'we should be hiring regardless of gender, race, religion or CREED,' but you know H.R. doesn't really listen to me.	1.3270	0.04763	159	118	30	11
2468	They better not drop the ball.	1.3270	0.04846	159	119	28	12
2469	The guy from HR said the CEO prefers them because they don't waste time on their smartphones.	1.3268	0.03822	205	146	51	8
2470	I did it for the pet insurance.	1.3268	0.04527	153	110	36	7
2471	It started with "bring your dog to work" day.	1.3265	0.04745	147	107	32	8
2472	Grover is soo annoying, I'm like, literally allergic to him.	1.3264	0.04297	193	143	37	13
2473	I hear that Purina One has a better benefits package.	1.3262	0.04326	187	138	37	12
2474	Do we dare discuss the elephant in the room?	1.3262	0.04521	187	141	31	15
2475	When you said we'd go to a dog cafe, this isn't really what I expected.	1.3261	0.04021	184	131	46	7
2476	What part of "hire homo sapiens" did you not understand?	1.3258	0.04331	178	130	38	10
2477	Princess had a litter, Jack, five kittens. I'm taking her place.	1.3258	0.04546	178	133	32	13
2478	I heard Spot got the promotion. Rover is going to be devastated.	1.3258	0.04404	178	131	36	11
2479	So this is the 'diversity' that HR was talking about?	1.3257	0.04305	175	127	39	9
2480	Stop barking orders at me!	1.3257	0.04741	175	133	27	15
2481	Yeah really, if they are service animals then where are the owners.	1.3257	0.04228	175	126	41	8
2482	An absence of cats doesn't prove that dogs are smarter.	1.3256	0.04583	172	128	32	12
2483	All they listen to is "Who Let the Dogs Out"	1.3256	0.04508	172	127	34	11
2484	This bring your dog to work thing has gone too far.	1.3256	0.04656	172	129	30	13
2485	When they said ‘bring your pet to work day’, I imagined it to be a little bit different.	1.3254	0.04405	169	123	37	9
2486	It all started with that New Yorker cartoon.	1.3254	0.05004	169	131	21	17
2487	How come nobody throws me the ball?	1.3254	0.04242	169	121	41	7
2488	I thought WeWoof was just a typo.	1.3254	0.04286	209	158	34	17
2489	I just got back from the candy machine. It’s filled with dog biscuits.....	1.3253	0.04458	166	121	36	9
2490	Not to be too PC, but do you realize how Anthropocentric your report sounds?	1.3253	0.04375	166	120	38	8
2491	Can you believe my bonus was a case of Milkbones?	1.3252	0.04677	163	121	31	11
2492	I was expecting a dog eat dog world, not a dog meet dog world!	1.3250	0.03879	200	143	49	8
2493	So, what does it take to become top dog around here?	1.3250	0.04820	160	120	28	12
2494	The password spelled ‘K-9’ isn’t correct. Did u try ‘canine?’	1.3248	0.04800	157	117	29	11
2495	I hear tonight is poker night.	1.3248	0.04800	157	117	29	11
2496	We’re integrating fuzzy logic into the new platform.	1.3248	0.04884	157	118	27	12
2497	‘Woof! Woof.’ What does that even mean?	1.3247	0.04777	154	114	30	10
2498	They're covered by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. But we're screwed.	1.3246	0.04062	191	138	44	9
2499	Well, it's still true that a robot could never do this job.	1.3246	0.04062	191	138	44	9
2500	I think we need to come up with a new bring your pet to work policy.	1.3245	0.04104	188	136	43	9
2501	I have this sneaking suspicion that we are just coding for table scraps	1.3243	0.04003	185	132	46	7
2502	Are you getting a lot of calls for lost bones?	1.3240	0.04237	179	130	40	9
2503	Dogs aren't distracted by the wording and they take shorter pee breaks.	1.3240	0.04524	179	134	32	13
2504	"She's acting all prim and proper, but Rosie just grabbed my good luck tennis ball again."	1.3240	0.04593	179	135	30	14
2505	I wasn’t trained for this!	1.3240	0.04237	179	130	40	9
2506	I thought you said this job required a degree, and thumbs!	1.3240	0.04311	179	131	38	10
2507	Bring your pet to work day has really evolved	1.3240	0.04237	179	130	40	9
2508	I'm so over this canine to five.	1.3239	0.04285	176	128	39	9
2509	Do we need to get shots ?	1.3239	0.04360	176	129	37	10
2510	I’m literally jumping through hoops for this promotion.	1.3239	0.04360	176	129	37	10
2511	The backyard IS the bathroom.	1.3237	0.04175	173	124	42	7
2512	They call it the INTERPET	1.3237	0.04410	173	127	36	10
2513	None of these interns will fetch me a coffee.	1.3235	0.04303	170	123	39	8
2514	I guess it's the end of opposable thumbs.	1.3235	0.04384	170	124	37	9
2515	They had to broaden hiring for customer service after Alexa started forwarding order requests from pets	1.3235	0.04303	170	123	39	8
2516	The only keys mine has are ‘arf’ and ‘woof’.	1.3235	0.04540	170	126	33	11
2517	Corporate's really been pushing this new diversity initiative lately.	1.3234	0.03927	201	145	47	9
2518	Sorry about hounding you, but I forgot to save my lab report. The malamute next to me won't speak to me. Can your retriever help me?	1.3234	0.03989	201	146	45	10
2519	No, Todd, we're the stress relief, not them.	1.3234	0.04595	167	124	32	11
2520	I misread the Intermutt Cafe sign.	1.3234	0.04595	167	124	32	11
2521	If they get paid more than us I'm going to HR!	1.3232	0.04653	164	122	31	11
2522	Let’s face it. We’re living in a dog-tweet-dog world.	1.3232	0.04653	164	122	31	11
2523	I'M JUST SAYING, THEY ARE TREATING US LIKE ANIMALS	1.3230	0.04458	161	117	36	8
2524	Looks like our jobs are going to the dogs.	1.3230	0.04712	161	120	30	11
2525	I thought “affurmative” action was a typo!	1.3230	0.04712	161	120	30	11
2526	Your back is safe in this office, but never leave your shin exposed.	1.3230	0.04545	161	118	34	9
2527	They told us we needed to diversify the workplace. What am I supposed to do about it?	1.3228	0.04602	158	116	33	9
2528	Cyber-Dating Cafe "Is it really so hard to find a loyal, pure bred male that doesn't want to call me his bitch?!"	1.3226	0.04924	155	117	26	12
2529	At call centers everyone thinks you're a dog.	1.3226	0.04128	186	135	42	9
2530	I don't think the pet dating site was such a good idea	1.3226	0.04198	186	136	40	10
2531	I know, right? The world has actually gone to the dogs.	1.3226	0.04751	155	115	30	10
2532	I don't mind working as hard as a dog at this start-up, but I no longer want to be paid in kibble.	1.3226	0.04531	186	141	30	15
2533	this bring your dog to work thing has gotten out of hand	1.3224	0.04244	183	134	39	10
2534	No, it’s online poker.	1.3224	0.04314	183	135	37	11
2535	If we don't come up with something good, and I mean soon, they're going to replace us with a pair of Golden Retrievers.	1.3224	0.04535	152	110	35	7
2536	We should have seen this coming on Take Your Dog to Work day.	1.3224	0.04535	152	110	35	7
2537	She wears a collar every day, but when I wear a pussy bow it's political and anti-dog.	1.3222	0.04502	180	135	32	13
2538	Did you hear they caught Baxter expensing peanut butter to the corporate card?	1.3222	0.04068	180	129	44	7
2539	Don't you hate those dog biscuits in the coffee break room?	1.3222	0.03991	180	128	46	6
2540	You can be a dog behind the screen, no one would know.	1.3220	0.04412	177	131	35	11
2541	When they said they'd try to diversify the workplace, I didn't think this is what they meant.	1.3220	0.03874	205	148	48	9
2542	Well, at least we haven't been replaced by a robot.	1.3218	0.04464	174	129	34	11
2543	I guess they're playing on-line poker now.	1.3218	0.04610	174	131	30	13
2544	Hot News from the White House. It finally happened...the world has gone to the dogs.	1.3218	0.04610	174	131	30	13
2545	I know they aren't that politically astute, but they really do pick up on dog whistles.	1.3218	0.04682	174	132	28	14
2546	The Temp Agency sent them.	1.3216	0.04440	171	126	35	10
2547	when did bring your pet to work day become send your pet to work day?	1.3216	0.04592	171	128	31	12
2548	They think it’s nepotism because Bandit hired me.	1.3216	0.04075	199	146	42	11
2549	I know it’s ‘Bring Your Dog To Work Day’ and all, but this is just taking it too far.	1.3216	0.04257	199	149	36	14
2550	I don't think Greg got what I meant when I said that I wanted more diverse hires.	1.3214	0.03987	196	142	45	9
2551	I've got a bone to pick with the one to my right.	1.3214	0.04332	168	122	38	8
2552	No keyboard, a single button mouse, and bark recognition software. No wonder it's free.	1.3214	0.04249	168	121	40	7
2553	OK, I thought it was cute when they brought their dogs to the office, but now they're taking our jobs!	1.3212	0.04159	193	142	40	11
2554	People are starting to take advantage of the pet policy.	1.3212	0.04093	193	141	42	10
2555	Is it considered "species appropriation" if I start wearing a studded collar as an accessory?	1.3211	0.03999	190	137	45	8
2556	I didn't intern at a Russian troll farm for 2 years just to rig the 2019 Westminster Best in Show.	1.3211	0.04268	190	141	37	12
2557	This place has really gone to the dogs.	1.3210	0.04605	162	120	32	10
2558	They bark, they scratch but they really know how to beg.	1.3210	0.04687	162	121	30	11
2559	I’m right here. Just text me.	1.3209	0.04315	187	139	36	12
2560	They’re all bitches.	1.3209	0.03967	187	134	46	7
2561	It's a dog-eat-dog world and I think you're next.	1.3209	0.04110	187	136	42	9
2562	It's not my imagination, right? This company really is going to the dogs.	1.3209	0.04247	187	138	38	11
2563	Why don't we have mandatory walks in our contracts?	1.3208	0.04215	159	113	41	5
2564	Your puppy just pinged me on Slack, he needs all your last week reports and a bowl of Bonio.	1.3208	0.04400	159	115	37	7
2565	Unless you're willing to work for kibble, I suggest you dust off your resume.	1.3208	0.04490	159	116	35	8
2566	I know it's bring your dog to work day, but this is out of control.	1.3207	0.04081	184	133	43	8
2567	It was terrible, he just moped around, wouldn't go to the dog park, wouldn't chase a ball, laid by my desk whining all day. I finally just gave in.	1.3205	0.04811	156	117	28	11
2568	"Big deal--all they use it for is to play on-line Poker."	1.3205	0.04546	156	114	34	8
2569	Is this company seriously still running Windows XP?	1.3205	0.04454	156	113	36	7
2570	You’re wrong. Pavlov was stimulus and reward, Skinner was reward and stimulus.	1.3205	0.04725	156	116	30	10
2571	I did think 70 days paid vacation seemed a lot	1.3204	0.04481	181	136	32	13
2572	And I thought automation was taking away our jobs.	1.3204	0.04049	181	130	44	7
2573	Affirmative Action	1.3204	0.04549	181	137	30	14
2574	First, it was outsourcing and now this	1.3204	0.04124	181	131	42	8
2575	Nobody knows they are dogs & they work for scraps. OR They manage the trump web site. OR If anyone asks, tell them you had your shots. OR Leg humping is not harassment here. OR Outside on break, watch where you step.	1.3204	0.04481	181	136	32	13
2576	I just received a calendar invite for going to the dog park this afternoon.	1.3203	0.04510	153	111	35	7
2577	I know it’s a family business, but come on	1.3203	0.04788	153	114	29	10
2578	They thought it was more humane to put dogs to work than to make us to work like dogs.	1.3203	0.04510	153	111	35	7
2579	No job security here. It really is a dog eat dog world.	1.3202	0.04603	178	135	29	14
2580	I wanna leave. The dog next to me is watching porn.	1.3202	0.04318	178	131	37	10
2581	They treat us like animals around here	1.3200	0.04367	175	129	36	10
2582	It used to be take your kids to work day?	1.3200	0.04292	175	128	38	9
2583	I can't tell if he's watching porn or just typical dog stuff.	1.3200	0.04442	175	130	34	11
2584	I liked it more when our competition was a mouse.	1.3200	0.04292	175	128	38	9
2585	Personally, I think company loyalty is overrated.	1.3200	0.04292	175	128	38	9
2586	I don't think this is what they meant by "Take Your Dog to Work Day."	1.3200	0.04728	175	134	26	15
2587	Shhh, don’t let the cat out of the bag.	1.3198	0.04632	197	154	23	20
2588	Yeah, I know. They're all searching for cute cat videos!	1.3198	0.04284	197	148	35	14
2589	What is the WiFi password again, "woof " or "bark", I keep forgetting.	1.3198	0.04341	172	126	37	9
2590	AI has advanced to include Animal Intelligence	1.3198	0.04099	172	123	43	6
2591	‘Bitch’ is just my USER NAME, what’s your excuse!	1.3198	0.04569	172	129	31	12
2592	Do you know what the bathrooms are like here?	1.3198	0.04261	172	125	39	8
2593	Tokenism. You?	1.3198	0.04261	172	125	39	8
2594	Dude, I don't know what the thing in the headphones is either, but he's the one that hired me.	1.3198	0.04494	172	128	33	11
2595	The recruiter said the 'dog-eat-dog competitive atmosphere' was just a metaphor.	1.3195	0.04310	169	123	38	8
2596	Let me give you a tip. You wanna make some money here? Use your dog voice.	1.3195	0.04471	169	125	34	10
2597	Pretty soon they'll be teaching US to sniff out bombs.	1.3194	0.04184	191	141	39	11
2598	Is it just me or has Steve gotten fatter?	1.3194	0.04249	191	142	37	12
2599	I'm literally working like a dog over here and still not getting a raise.	1.3193	0.04605	166	124	31	11
2600	Don’t worry. Their bark is bigger than their byte.	1.3193	0.04443	166	122	35	9
2601	Why do you think they call it a “dog eat dog” workplace?	1.3193	0.04443	166	122	35	9
2602	This job is ruff, but at least there's a nice lab.	1.3193	0.04605	166	124	31	11
2603	I've hacked them but all I'm getting is "go to the park, go to the park, go to the park."	1.3191	0.04361	188	141	34	13
2604	They're good dogs, Brent.	1.3191	0.04228	188	139	38	11
2605	How are they so good at this???	1.3191	0.04295	188	140	36	12
2606	I mean, it's a toxic workplace, right? They can't pay us in tennis balls. That's illegal.	1.3190	0.04412	163	119	36	8
2607	He’s just listening to ‘Dogs Barking Jingle Bells’ on repeat, all day every day. It’s driving me insane!	1.3190	0.04497	163	120	34	9
2608	"They don't even wash their hands before they eat!	1.3190	0.04326	163	118	38	7
2609	This is not what I thought you meant when you said some of them were bitches!	1.3190	0.04581	163	121	32	10
2610	Internet service dogs?	1.3190	0.04581	163	121	32	10
2611	Can you at least throw me bone?	1.3188	0.04248	207	157	34	16
2612	Wanna skip the group lunch at Gnaw-a-Bone and get a salad instead?	1.3187	0.04179	182	133	40	9
2613	If I had known about the bathroom break policy here I never would have taken this job.	1.3187	0.04321	182	135	36	11
2614	They are great at obeying commands, but you need to play fetch with them every fifteen minutes.	1.3185	0.04522	157	115	34	8
2615	Of course low cost spay/neuter for them but not us is an unfair labor practice!	1.3184	0.04370	179	133	35	11
2616	I'm just saying it's rude when they're obviously looking over and reading my screen when they know I can't read dog.	1.3184	0.04224	179	131	39	9
2617	Even I think these diversity hires are getting out of hand.	1.3182	0.04116	176	127	42	7
2618	No, I'm listening to who let the dogs out. I don't actually know who let the dogs out.	1.3182	0.04420	176	131	34	11
2619	Do you bark?	1.3179	0.04241	173	126	39	8
2620	I think equal opportunity has gone too far	1.3179	0.04319	173	127	37	9
2621	I thought the boss was sexist when he said we had to do our "business" outside.	1.3176	0.04751	170	130	26	14
2622	All my life I’ve worked like a dog and where has it gotten me?	1.3176	0.04602	170	128	30	12
2623	How will human resources figure out their gender so they will know who to pay only 80% of the other's salary?	1.3176	0.04985	148	112	25	11
2624	Andy, I know about cows & bulls and ewes & rams. That doesn't mean you can call your co-workers bitches.	1.3175	0.04209	189	140	38	11
2625	You went a little crazy on bring your pet to work day!	1.3175	0.04142	189	139	40	10
2626	Well maybe on the Internet; but here I know they are dogs and that's just not right.	1.3174	0.04886	167	129	23	15
2627	It wasn’t me—it was the dog.	1.3174	0.04581	167	125	31	11
2628	This "working like a dog" crap is getting old.	1.3173	0.03887	208	152	46	10
2629	The last caller was a real bitch!"	1.3172	0.04389	186	140	33	13
2630	Why don’t YOU fetch some coffee? I feel like I fetch stuff all day.	1.3172	0.04389	186	140	33	13
2631	I know, it's like he's never even seen Excel.	1.3172	0.04186	186	137	39	10
2632	And they just hired a bird for social media.	1.3172	0.04186	186	137	39	10
2633	She wants my credit card number to help.a Siberian Husky who's stranded in Kenya.	1.3171	0.04797	164	125	26	13
2634	But there are no bathrooms here.	1.3171	0.04390	164	120	36	8
2635	Social media is changing things. I went to the ladies room and scratched on the door.	1.3171	0.04797	164	125	26	13
2636	I don't have headphones, so all I hear is panting all day long.	1.3171	0.04474	164	121	34	9
2637	Okay, now I don’t think your request for a standing desk was so unreasonable.	1.3169	0.04439	183	138	32	13
2638	I'm telling you, our work has gone to the dogs	1.3169	0.04572	183	140	28	15
2639	Diversity is one thing, but this constant panting and tail-wagging is ruining my concentration.	1.3169	0.04012	183	132	44	7
2640	I’m for an inclusive work environment, but did they have to replace all the snacks with dog treats?	1.3169	0.04231	183	135	38	10
2641	Would you rather go back to working for Buzzfeed?	1.3169	0.04506	183	139	30	14
2642	The snacks are just awful! And I'm gonna scream if I have to throw the ball one more time during break!	1.3168	0.04698	161	121	29	11
2643	The Office Bitches	1.3168	0.04779	161	122	27	12
2644	Stop quoting that cartoon about how "on the internet, no one knows you're a dog." You say that every time we come here.	1.3168	0.04443	161	118	35	8
2645	I know management thinks they're real dogstar developers, but between you and me... they just watch cat videos all day.	1.3168	0.04529	161	119	33	9
2646	Being a woman in the workplace is like being surrounded by dogs.	1.3167	0.04558	180	137	29	14
2647	Why put snacks out if you're going to snap at me for trying them?	1.3167	0.04420	180	135	33	12
2648	You want a break? Stay off the hydrant metaphors.	1.3167	0.04277	180	133	37	10
2649	No, really ; I KNOW they're dogs.	1.3167	0.04349	180	134	35	11
2650	When you said telemarketing has gone to the dogs, I didn't think you meant it literally.	1.3166	0.04186	199	149	37	13
2651	Jeffrey, can you believe it? Princess has the hot pants for King but King could give a rip. He’d rather dryhump Sniff n pee.	1.3166	0.04306	199	151	33	15
2652	The librarian said the internet’s down at the kennel!	1.3165	0.04901	139	103	28	8
2653	Our Facebook page had an unprecedented number of licks this year...	1.3165	0.04673	158	118	30	10
2654	Don't complain about how slow it is. Just tell them to stop downloading cat videos.	1.3164	0.04471	177	133	32	12
2655	I think they're past the man's best friend stage	1.3164	0.04399	177	132	34	11
2656	We should have seen this coming when they replaced the game room with a dog run	1.3164	0.04174	177	129	40	8
2657	She says customer service is a bitch!	1.3163	0.04230	196	147	36	13
2658	Ya, but the bathrooms here are spotless.	1.3161	0.04220	174	127	39	8
2659	Have you seen the lunch room?	1.3161	0.04298	174	128	37	9
2660	Do they even know we're not dogs?	1.3161	0.04298	174	128	37	9
2661	I thought you said all the new employees were potty trained.	1.3161	0.04597	174	132	29	13
2662	Does he really want me to throw him a bone?	1.3161	0.04220	174	127	39	8
2663	And you said their bark is worse than their byte?	1.3161	0.04450	174	130	33	11
2664	I bet they all don't speak a word of English!	1.3161	0.04338	193	146	33	14
2665	My temp agency said that having ten digits would be seen as having an advantage	1.3158	0.04186	171	124	40	7
2666	How many drugs did you take Jim?!?!	1.3158	0.04448	190	145	30	15
2667	They’re playing 3Dognite	1.3158	0.04653	171	130	28	13
2668	Forget 'teamwork.' Big Dog just ate my mouse.	1.3158	0.04348	171	126	36	9
2669	It's awful! He's watching 'Hydrant Porn."'	1.3158	0.04268	171	125	38	8
2670	They’re not day traders — they’re the dogs of the Dow.	1.3158	0.04348	171	126	36	9
2671	I don't want to ask them, but is 'neutering' the same as 'castration?'	1.3155	0.04302	187	140	35	12
2672	It looks like our diversity initiative may have gone too far.	1.3155	0.03652	187	131	53	3
2673	I guess the other guys could not take commands.	1.3155	0.04235	187	139	37	11
2674	It's who let the dogs OUT, Steve.	1.3155	0.04233	168	122	39	7
2675	Listen, if I'm the next to go, try to make sure they replace me with a Belgian Malinoise.	1.3155	0.04558	168	126	31	11
2676	What happened to ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’	1.3154	0.04576	149	109	33	7
2677	I heard they used to sit around playing poker - and now this!	1.3154	0.04576	149	109	33	7
2678	When I told her I would dog sit, I had no idea.	1.3152	0.04350	184	138	34	12
2679	I heard they can crunch numbers and sniff opportunities better than anyone else, as long we keep the windows closed.	1.3152	0.04350	184	138	34	12
2680	It's so nice to meet a boy who's not a dog.	1.3152	0.04211	184	136	38	10
2681	My boss said I'd get to work with the big dog, but this isn't what I signed up for.	1.3152	0.04140	184	135	40	9
2682	Still think your 'More Bitches in STEM' is the right slogan?	1.3152	0.04195	165	119	40	6
2683	There’s no indoor restroom!	1.3152	0.04451	165	122	34	9
2684	Why is there a photograph of me on pedigree.com?	1.3152	0.04772	165	126	26	13
2685	On the bright side, you can stop worrying about your job getting outsourced.	1.3152	0.04367	165	121	36	8
2686	They're obedience school overachievers!	1.3150	0.03983	200	147	43	10
2687	I only got the job because of my rufferences.	1.3149	0.04257	181	134	37	10
2688	Trust me, this place has gone to the dogs.	1.3149	0.04257	181	134	37	10
2689	I have a bone to pick with you....	1.3148	0.04673	162	122	29	11
2690	You think this is bad, try getting a station during Westminster!	1.3147	0.04273	197	149	34	14
2691	I’m all for a dog-friendly office, but ...	1.3147	0.04212	197	148	36	13
2692	We work like dogs.	1.3146	0.04590	178	136	28	14
2693	I am telling you -- they are animals.	1.3146	0.04230	178	131	38	9
2694	What do I do? The caller is barking so loudly I can hardly understand!	1.3146	0.04155	178	130	40	8
2695	You just can't compete with them - they're specially trained!	1.3146	0.04378	178	133	34	11
2696	I'm tired of the yapping, can you lend me your earphones?	1.3146	0.04305	178	132	36	10
2697	So over that poodle in accounts she’s such a bitch! I asked about a raise she literally threw me a bone!!	1.3145	0.04648	159	119	30	10
2698	Dammit Chad, I thought you said walking dogs, not working dogs!	1.3145	0.04733	159	120	28	11
2699	They're going nuts and I don't hear a thing.	1.3143	0.04646	175	134	27	14
2700	But they told us robots were going to take our jobs.	1.3143	0.04502	175	132	31	12
2701	Are they paper trained?	1.3143	0.04574	175	133	29	13
2702	I still don't get why they hired me. They know I don't bark!"	1.3143	0.04354	175	130	35	10
2703	How are they so good at dealing with the cat calls?	1.3143	0.04646	175	134	27	14
2704	I don't know about these new hires - they've been barking orders at me all day!	1.3141	0.04343	156	113	37	6
2705	I didn't know working was part of "bring your pet to work" day.	1.3141	0.04620	156	116	31	9
2706	I don't know where the bathroom is.	1.3141	0.04796	156	118	27	11
2707	It's because of that non-discrimination clause they put in our contract"	1.3140	0.04404	172	128	34	10
2708	It can be difficult to fund raise for the SPCA.	1.3140	0.04247	172	126	38	8
2709	I don't care if they hear me, I was told no snacking at the work station.	1.3140	0.04481	172	129	32	11
2710	I swear to god he keeps getting all the good clients because he's a "Good boy!"	1.3139	0.04720	137	100	31	6
2711	Who handles calls about an addiction to Fetch?	1.3138	0.04148	188	139	39	10
2712	I'm used to the dogs, but what's this guy next to me?	1.3133	0.04345	166	122	36	8
2713	Don’t you think they have taken this equal opportunity thing too far	1.3133	0.04428	166	123	34	9
2714	Who's a good boy?	1.3133	0.04590	166	125	30	11
2715	They can sniff out trolls!	1.3133	0.04428	166	123	34	9
2716	One of them keeps farting!	1.3132	0.04447	182	138	31	13
2717	Jim, you need to focus and forget you're pet peeves; you're dragging down the team metrics!	1.3131	0.04373	198	152	30	16
2718	Do you think they'll try to use our restrooms next?	1.3129	0.04610	147	108	32	7
2719	Insurance... so easy dogs can do it.	1.3129	0.04507	147	107	34	6
2720	I'm pretty sure kibble isn't allowed at our workstations.	1.3129	0.04130	163	117	41	5
2721	' Good boy' beside me asked me to scratch his back!	1.3128	0.04210	179	132	38	9
2722	Why do they call each other comrade?	1.3128	0.04135	179	131	40	8
2723	I guess “fetch the mail” means something different to millennial dogs...	1.3128	0.03913	195	142	45	8
2724	I don’t care what they are I won’t be referred to as “that birch in marketing”	1.3128	0.04299	195	148	33	14
2725	I've been hounding them for the past week to limited success.	1.3128	0.03980	195	143	43	9
2726	They're here to collude with Siberian huskies.	1.3125	0.04407	176	132	33	11
2727	Do you think we’ll start to look like them after we’ve been here a bit longer?	1.3125	0.03772	176	124	49	3
2728	I know. On the internet nobody knows they’re animals.	1.3125	0.04450	160	118	34	8
2729	I've got a human on the line. Do we have anyone who speaks human?	1.3122	0.04129	189	140	39	10
2730	I told you this place was a zoo before you applied...	1.3122	0.04060	189	139	41	9
2731	I'm not specist, but...	1.3122	0.04060	189	139	41	9
2732	Want to go play in the yard?	1.3121	0.04769	157	119	27	11
2733	My co-workers are kinda bitchy.	1.3121	0.04505	157	116	33	8
2734	Now I have to deal with the canine wage gap too?	1.3118	0.04242	186	139	36	11
2735	I know there's more money in cybersecurity, but I really miss the days when it was just us 4 teen detectives in a van with our dog.	1.3118	0.04512	170	128	31	11
2736	When I said dog I meant it in the friendly way like “Hey, dawg.” And now he’s threatening to call HR. This PC culture, I tell ya.	1.3117	0.04745	154	116	28	10
2737	Am I supposed to bring plastic bags on a first date?	1.3116	0.04175	199	150	36	13
2738	We are the "Fox & Friends" , what did you expect?!	1.3115	0.04218	183	136	37	10
2739	Psst. I’m shorting kibble futures.	1.3115	0.04218	183	136	37	10
2740	Who's the dying breed now?	1.3114	0.04487	167	125	32	10
2741	Can I join you study group? Mine is a bunch of bitches.	1.3114	0.04323	167	123	36	8
2742	I've heard the company is 'going to the dogs'...	1.3114	0.04487	167	125	32	10
2743	How many times do I have to tell you stop peeing on the carpet, Brad!	1.3114	0.04566	167	126	30	11
2744	I'd ask Rosie to give me a hand with this but...	1.3114	0.04487	167	125	32	10
2745	Don't say anything, but Maxie-boy has hookworms!	1.3113	0.04899	151	115	25	11
2746	Tail wagging the dog?! Do you even know what that means?!	1.3112	0.03896	196	143	45	8
2747	But those are dog years of experience!	1.3111	0.04116	180	132	40	8
2748	My dating profile didn't say I was an ACTUAL fox.	1.3111	0.04477	180	137	30	13
2749	I don't mind all the barking. But I can't take the fleas!	1.3111	0.04477	180	137	30	13
2750	The only advice they give is: "Eat some biscuits, take a nap, and try again later. If that doesn't work, find a cat to chase."	1.3111	0.04477	180	137	30	13
2751	We can't hear because it is coming through on dog whistle	1.3111	0.04264	180	134	36	10
2752	Look, I apologize. When I said all men are dogs, I didn't really know what I was talking about.	1.3111	0.04190	180	133	38	9
2753	Did they say it's a Coding Camp for Dummies, or Doggies?	1.3110	0.04623	164	124	29	11
2754	Some consultant suggested it- thinking it would boost workplace morale for millennials.	1.3110	0.04704	164	125	27	12
2755	I don't know about you, but I liked it better in the old days, when they used to just smell each other's genitals and butts.	1.3110	0.04782	164	126	25	13
2756	Do we have to walk them?	1.3109	0.03865	193	140	46	7
2757	It's the company's attempt to make the call center more client friendly.	1.3107	0.04236	177	131	37	9
2758	They are working hard. OK> But why do we have to throw the ball during their breaks?	1.3107	0.04312	177	132	35	10
2759	Have you seen the cats?	1.3106	0.04426	161	119	34	8
2760	I told him I needed help with JavaScript, and threw him a biscuit. He barked at me that he 'felt patronized.' "	1.3106	0.04598	161	121	30	10
2761	I've long said I was the one working for kibble around here.	1.3105	0.04309	190	144	33	13
2762	What's a Millenial in dog years?	1.3105	0.03973	190	139	43	8
2763	Yeah, well - you smell funny too.	1.3105	0.04373	190	145	31	14
2764	Can you believe what management unleashed on us?	1.3103	0.04206	174	128	38	8
2765	Where's the ball?	1.3103	0.04361	174	130	34	10
2766	I told you this job was going to the dogs...now do you believe me?	1.3103	0.04436	174	131	32	11
2767	A virus? I thought they had all their shots!	1.3103	0.04284	174	129	36	9
2768	Yes, yes, I know "On the Internet nobody knows if you're a dog," but who knew they controlled the chat room services?	1.3103	0.04436	174	131	32	11
2769	Now I know why I can't relate to the callers.	1.3103	0.04361	174	130	34	10
2770	Even my mother has left Facebook. It’s really just them now.	1.3102	0.04154	187	139	38	10
2771	The work place is going to the dogs!	1.3102	0.04290	187	141	34	12
2772	Its the new strategy to directly market to the pets instead of their owners.	1.3101	0.04481	158	117	33	8
2773	Do they have separate bathrooms too?	1.3099	0.04411	171	128	33	10
2774	Who would have thought “Fetch” was now a video game?	1.3099	0.04088	171	124	41	6
2775	I simply can't function effectively in a dog-eat-dog environment...	1.3099	0.04333	171	127	35	9
2776	We’re trying to run an adopt-a-thon And they act like it’s speed-dating!!!	1.3099	0.04333	171	127	35	9
2777	Do we get kibble? Do we get a ball	1.3099	0.04171	171	125	39	7
2778	Did you see under renumeration where it said kibble or wet?	1.3099	0.04171	171	125	39	7
2779	Let's organize for human parity by 2020.	1.3098	0.04198	184	137	37	10
2780	He always brings the weirdest crap for lunch.	1.3098	0.04268	184	138	35	11
2781	If you don't quit growling at the callers, I'll have to report you to the top dog.	1.3098	0.04337	184	139	33	12
2782	Didja hear!?! Sparky and Duke have been lifting their leg in the mailroom!!!	1.3097	0.04444	155	114	34	7
2783	I mean, yeah, we work for Kibbles, but Jesus, throw us a bone, once in a while?	1.3096	0.03879	197	144	45	8
2784	This is what happens when corporate allows "emotional assistance" dogs.	1.3095	0.04621	168	128	28	12
2785	Working with these bitches beats the cat fighting in my last job.	1.3095	0.04697	168	129	26	13
2786	Throw some kibble on the floor and save our jobs!	1.3095	0.04218	168	123	38	7
2787	I thought this job would be a walk in the park, but these guys are online ALL DAY.	1.3095	0.04543	168	127	30	11
2788	I know, right? Intern or no intern, I don't mind the kibble runs, but I draw the line at taking them for walks.	1.3094	0.04097	181	133	40	8
2789	Where are you on that ruff draft?	1.3094	0.04591	181	140	26	15
2790	But do we get fetch-breaks? Noooo.	1.3091	0.04178	165	120	39	6
2791	They were always wondering what I did all day, so now they know.	1.3091	0.04351	165	122	35	8
2792	On the internet, nobody knows you're a millennial.	1.3090	0.04577	178	137	27	14
2793	4 years at Vassar for a job literally anyone can read from a script.	1.3090	0.04364	178	134	33	11
2794	I can live with the barking, but not the fleas...	1.3089	0.04024	191	141	41	9
2795	I am NOT anti large mixed breed dog... but he's always just watching Lassie porn!	1.3086	0.04819	162	125	24	13
2796	At least they're not playing poker.	1.3086	0.04574	162	122	30	10
2797	Is the WIFI password woof or arf-arf today?	1.3086	0.04657	162	123	28	11
2798	Is it just me or does this place smell?	1.3086	0.04657	162	123	28	11
2799	When they mentioned they allowed dogs in the office, I didn't expect they had THIS in mind.	1.3086	0.04339	175	131	34	10
2800	When they said we were "adopting" a new marketing strategy, I didn't think they meant _this_.	1.3086	0.04185	175	129	38	8
2801	I've had it with the unisex bathrooms in this place.	1.3086	0.04339	175	131	34	10
2802	First they said the robots would take our jobs. Then they said the immigrants would. Now we have to worry about animals too?!	1.3086	0.04339	175	131	34	10
2803	When the boss told us you two are going to the dog house he wasn't kidding.	1.3086	0.04339	175	131	34	10
2804	They're just doing regular satellite maps of trees with squirrels in the suburbs.	1.3082	0.04514	146	107	33	6
2805	So I had to go file a complaint to HR today because I went to eat lunch in the break room, and all the new guys were sniffing and eating each other's butts.	1.3082	0.04632	159	120	29	10
2806	Hey! I just got an update on the hacker’s profile. We need to be looking for a Russian Wolfhound.	1.3081	0.04151	172	126	39	7
2807	The university lets them use the library computers. Apparently they are all working on their dogterates.	1.3081	0.04311	172	128	35	9
2808	Tommy, It's not part of PC culture to call them dogs.	1.3081	0.04232	172	127	37	8
2809	Quality control is down, but the labor savings are incredible!	1.3081	0.04179	185	138	37	10
2810	These new guys really keep their nose to the ground	1.3081	0.03962	185	135	43	7
2811	It's great that Dogs-R-Us now has this Diversity hiring program, but they're going to have to offer something other than Kibbles 'n Bits in the cafeteria if they want to keep us here!	1.3081	0.04179	185	138	37	10
2812	Everything is cool working with canines except they go in the break room, rip open my bag and eat my lunch.	1.3081	0.04108	185	137	39	9
2813	Oh. My. God. This one's. Breath!	1.3081	0.04248	185	139	35	11
2814	So, the other two are dogs, but what's the one to my right?	1.3081	0.04317	185	140	33	12
2815	If we were going for agile, why not cats?	1.3081	0.04384	185	141	31	13
2816	I don't think I'll ever find a job where I'm not allergic to some of my coworkers!	1.3077	0.03926	182	132	44	6
2817	The things we do to avoid minimum wage laws...	1.3077	0.04077	182	134	40	8
2818	Are you kidding me, they’re not even trained	1.3077	0.03967	195	144	42	9
2819	I just wish they would at least house train them when they office train them.	1.3077	0.03937	169	121	44	4
2820	Trust me. If you go to their after work poker party you’ll leave with no money. The bulldogs cheat and they let them get away with it.	1.3077	0.04520	169	128	30	11
2821	Dog-Eat-Dog World News seemed like a good job....	1.3077	0.04520	169	128	30	11
2822	I knew it! All these complainers want is someone to whine along with them.	1.3077	0.04196	169	124	38	7
2823	I told you the pay was inhuman.	1.3077	0.04365	182	138	32	12
2824	Sorry, I can't keep working where the rest room is a Goddamn fireplug.	1.3073	0.04334	192	147	31	14
2825	What do three yips and a bark mean?	1.3073	0.04141	192	144	37	11
2826	I always thought 'dog-eat-dog world' was a metaphor.	1.3073	0.04141	192	144	37	11
2827	I don't smell anything either.	1.3073	0.04415	179	136	31	12
2828	Didn't they tell you this was an Animal Hotline in your interview??	1.3071	0.04851	140	105	27	8
2829	If they ask me if I'm having a "ruff" day one more time I'm gonna lose it.	1.3069	0.04445	189	146	28	15
2830	It's better than being replaced by a robot.	1.3068	0.04086	176	129	40	7
2831	...when you said it was a doggie style website, I thought..."	1.3068	0.04242	176	131	36	9
2832	Cute cats on Youtube, but don't pass it on.	1.3068	0.04466	176	134	30	12
2833	I keep having this urge to chew on a shoe.	1.3067	0.04819	150	114	26	10
2834	It's a study to see who will be first to write a Shakespeare play.	1.3065	0.03847	199	146	45	8
2835	They're working us like dogs!	1.3065	0.04229	186	140	35	11
2836	This place has literally gone to the dogs!	1.3064	0.04444	173	131	31	11
2837	Office 'Caturday' was bad enough, but this is ridiculous!	1.3062	0.04159	160	116	39	5
2838	I told you we shouldn't unionize.	1.3061	0.04080	196	147	38	11
2839	You barked?	1.3060	0.04275	183	138	34	11
2840	...and they're better at it than we are!	1.3060	0.04204	183	137	36	10
2841	Do you think they’re unpaid too?	1.3060	0.04275	183	138	34	11
2842	You work like a dog, but at least the kibble is free.	1.3060	0.04059	183	135	40	8
2843	A minute ago they were people just like us. I'm scared. Are we next?	1.3059	0.04258	170	126	36	8
2844	There're all searching for better dog walkers.	1.3059	0.04497	170	129	30	11
2845	These guys are a bunch of animals.	1.3059	0.04723	170	132	24	14
2846	What’s the answer to number three? A—introduce yourself before sniffing?	1.3057	0.04666	157	119	28	10
2847	Do you ever feel that your career is going to the dogs?	1.3057	0.04206	157	114	38	5
2848	It's not the working with dogs that bothers me, but his wagging tail keeps invading my personal space!	1.3057	0.04122	193	145	37	11
2849	This bring-your-pet-to-work day is getting outta hand.	1.3057	0.04056	193	144	39	10
2850	I wish it had been robots.	1.3056	0.04394	180	137	31	12
2851	'I mean, who speaks goat?'	1.3056	0.04176	180	134	37	9
2852	It's the Vet School's new Distance Learning Program	1.3056	0.04176	180	134	37	9
2853	I know tech bros are dogs, but when did dogs become tech bros?	1.3056	0.04652	144	107	30	7
2854	It all started with “Bring Your Pet to Work Day” and now this place has gone to the dogs!	1.3056	0.04322	180	136	33	11
2855	All they do is surf the web for dirty bitches.	1.3054	0.04707	167	129	25	13
2856	They don't need keyboards because they have a way with mice.	1.3054	0.04551	167	127	29	11
2857	I've been having these really strange dreams ...	1.3054	0.04471	167	126	31	10
2858	Who's a smart dog" was a rhetorical question	1.3054	0.04471	167	126	31	10
2859	Even Hi-Tech is going to the dogs!	1.3054	0.04222	167	123	37	7
2860	Wake up! We're being marginalized.	1.3053	0.04297	190	145	32	13
2861	I can't hear a thing. Can you?	1.3052	0.04544	154	115	31	8
2862	First there was a mouse. Now this.	1.3052	0.04989	154	120	21	13
2863	Believe me, they only have artificial intelligence.	1.3052	0.04255	154	112	37	5
2864	It's impossible to watch cat videos here.	1.3051	0.04145	177	131	38	8
2865	I heard the boss really chewed him out!	1.3051	0.04444	177	135	30	12
2866	You said the wifi password was K9_G00DBOY, right?"	1.3049	0.04442	164	123	32	9
2867	I just don't see why we have to stoop to their level. Why can't we have a regular bathroom like every other boiler room?	1.3049	0.04357	164	122	34	8
2868	When does the therapy dog arrive?	1.3049	0.04357	164	122	34	8
2869	All these videos of cats?	1.3046	0.04422	174	132	31	11
2870	WE'RE the millennials . . . I'm not sure who they are!	1.3046	0.04190	174	129	37	8
2871	With our advanced degrees, it's either here or Starbucks!	1.3046	0.04496	174	133	29	12
2872	I guess management’s comments about farming out work were serious.	1.3043	0.04497	161	121	31	9
2873	On the troll farm, nobody knows you're a human	1.3043	0.04113	184	137	38	9
2874	The owner is convinced their loyalty will pay dividends.	1.3043	0.04230	161	118	37	6
2875	Checking the Yelp Wanted - online . . .	1.3043	0.04666	161	123	27	11
2876	I guess it’s better than robots taking our jobs.	1.3043	0.04321	161	119	35	7
2877	He byt me!	1.3043	0.03734	184	132	48	4
2878	Are opposable thumbs obsolete now?	1.3041	0.04396	171	129	32	10
2879	Got an international call here. What does 'arf'' mean	1.3041	0.04550	171	131	28	12
2880	No Fran, I don't hear any high pitched whistling.	1.3041	0.04071	171	125	40	6
2881	I’m not just some bitch.	1.3041	0.04550	171	131	28	12
2882	Can we talk?	1.3041	0.04317	171	128	34	9
2883	its ok...they are housebroken	1.3041	0.04155	171	126	38	7
2884	We're going for waffles, but we're not telling Derek.	1.3041	0.04761	148	112	27	9
2885	I guess we forgot about Bring Your Dog To Work day...	1.3039	0.04027	204	154	38	12
2886	I guess this what they meant when they said we needed to "fetch" more data.	1.3039	0.04230	181	136	35	10
2887	....And you know their benefits package is better than ours.	1.3037	0.04079	191	143	38	10
2888	Better than lab rats.	1.3037	0.04011	191	142	40	9
2889	Hey! Be a good boy and pass the treats.	1.3037	0.04212	191	145	34	12
2890	They're clicking for kibble?!.	1.3036	0.04285	168	125	35	8
2891	“Well, at least they weren’t replaced by robots.”	1.3036	0.04201	168	124	37	7
2892	I heard that the dog obedience schools went high-tech but I didn't believe it until now.	1.3034	0.04125	178	132	38	8
2893	This internet cafe has five 'paws' on Yelp!	1.3034	0.04202	178	133	36	9
2894	Something tells me the final season of “Game of Bones” just dropped.	1.3034	0.03968	178	130	42	6
2895	Is it just me or has the marketing department really gone to the dogs?	1.3033	0.03877	211	158	42	11
2896	I thought robots were the ones that were supposed to take our jobs	1.3032	0.04425	155	115	33	7
2897	Just because I started this job already house-broken is no reason to stiff me on a bonus!	1.3032	0.04701	155	118	27	10
2898	Corporate Vet health care is less expensive	1.3032	0.04190	188	142	35	11
2899	Rumor is, we're next!	1.3032	0.04052	188	140	39	9
2900	This is what happens when computers are too user friendly .	1.3030	0.04419	165	124	32	9
2901	I wouldn't mind so much if I was going to be replaced by a robot.	1.3030	0.03885	165	118	44	3
2902	Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?	1.3030	0.04419	165	124	32	9
2903	I think some here, work on their pet projects, more than their actual work.	1.3030	0.04249	165	122	36	7
2904	Dog people, am I right?	1.3029	0.03792	208	154	45	9
2905	It was either this or driving a Lyft.	1.3029	0.04547	175	135	27	13
2906	If I get a barker I transfer him to Fido.	1.3029	0.04400	175	133	31	11
2907	The job listing said CNN, but it was pronounced 'canine'. These startup names are getting ridiculous.	1.3029	0.04547	175	135	27	13
2908	When they said "Every mutt must have its day" I thought they were referring Trump.	1.3029	0.04170	175	130	37	8
2909	Ugh! They just keep fetching the best projects	1.3029	0.04090	175	129	39	7
2910	He just doesn't listen, even when I throw him a bone.	1.3029	0.04009	175	128	41	6
2911	They make us work like dogs here.	1.3027	0.04371	185	142	30	13
2912	I don't get why is everyone suddenly naked	1.3027	0.04165	185	139	36	10
2913	I bet they are being paid in dog hours...	1.3027	0.04304	185	141	32	12
2914	I told you they were lowering their admission standards.	1.3027	0.04235	185	140	34	11
2915	Do you also feel affirmative action has gone too far?	1.3027	0.04021	185	137	40	8
2916	Diversity in the workplace has gone too far.	1.3026	0.04481	152	113	32	7
2917	I rolled on a dead rat but Rover still won’t take his eyes off the squirrel videos.	1.3026	0.04577	152	114	30	8
2918	I'm sick of these bitches.	1.3025	0.04641	162	124	27	11
2919	Word is they're getting paid with treats.	1.3023	0.04135	172	127	38	7
2920	'How come he always gets the headphones?'	1.3023	0.04374	172	130	32	10
2921	I can’t take it any longer. It’s dog eat dog all day long.	1.3022	0.04281	182	138	33	11
2922	...and they kept worrying about robots taking our jobs!	1.3022	0.04556	182	142	25	15
2923	And you ask me why I think telemarketing has gone to the dogs!!	1.3022	0.04421	182	140	29	13
2924	I didn't think 'hair of the dog' would be such an awkward brunch comment.	1.3021	0.03924	192	142	42	8
2925	The tech industry is a dog-eat-dog world!	1.3019	0.04701	159	122	26	11
2926	It's a very species-fluid scene here so what's your problem?	1.3019	0.04349	159	118	34	7
2927	At least they're not Boomers.	1.3019	0.03743	212	157	46	9
2928	All the other coworking companies stick to therapy dogs	1.3019	0.04065	159	115	40	4
2929	After this are the olfactory tests	1.3018	0.04095	169	124	39	6
2930	Is “woof” or “arf” the correct pronunciation?	1.3018	0.04264	169	126	35	8
2931	I said, "Do you want to go out on a date?" Not, "Do you want to go outside?"	1.3018	0.04505	169	129	29	11
2932	I know what a "bit" is but what the hell is a "Kibble" ?	1.3018	0.04426	169	128	31	10
2933	"Bring your Pet to Work Day" is doing NOTHING for my confidence and sense of job security.	1.3018	0.04505	169	129	29	11
2934	This bringing your pets to work has gotten out of hand!	1.3017	0.04329	179	136	32	11
2935	Bark bark bark. Bark bark.” “Bark?	1.3017	0.04329	179	136	32	11
2936	Dogs Playing Poker 2019	1.3016	0.04238	189	144	33	12
2937	The hacker spaniel just changed Google to Poodle!	1.3014	0.04798	146	111	26	9
2938	Our study group un-bestfriended us.	1.3014	0.04798	146	111	26	9
2939	It's obvious that management is putting something in their treats.	1.3012	0.04140	166	122	38	6
2940	There's a new computer game out called "Fetch".	1.3012	0.04313	166	124	34	8
2941	I can't stand the way they drool over the keyboards...	1.3011	0.04303	176	133	33	10
2942	Hey! At least they're not robots.	1.3011	0.04150	176	131	37	8
2943	These species neutral hiring policies are getting ridiculous.	1.3011	0.04303	176	133	33	10
2944	So instead of stock options, we get soup bones and chew toys.	1.3011	0.04227	176	132	35	9
2945	Outsourcing for customer service has just gone too far!	1.3011	0.04452	176	135	29	12
2946	This is not how Bring Your Dog to Work Day was supposed to go.	1.3011	0.04075	186	139	38	9
2947	I thought we had agreed that you would lay off the whistling.	1.3011	0.04146	186	140	36	10
2948	You promised their owners no more than 20 minutes of screen time a day!	1.3006	0.04449	163	123	31	9
2949	This place really has gone to the dogs.	1.3006	0.04533	163	124	29	10
2950	I thought this was going to be like one of those cat cafes.	1.3006	0.04195	173	129	36	8
2951	I can't believe you were awarded Good Boy of the Month, I deserve it, I've been working like a dog.	1.3006	0.04195	173	129	36	8
2952	See I told you that you can't trust dating profiles!	1.3006	0.04275	173	130	34	9
2953	Personally, I think they're Russians.	1.3006	0.04352	173	131	32	10
2954	It's not fair...they're trained to fetch!	1.3005	0.04331	183	140	31	12
2955	And then he asked me for the woofi password.	1.3005	0.03971	203	153	39	11
2956	It's 2019, how are open offices still a thing?	1.3000	0.03931	180	132	42	6
2957	I didn't realize when they said everyone was learning to code, that they meant EVERYONE.	1.3000	0.04162	180	135	36	9
2958	I thought this was going to be a white collar job.	1.3000	0.04159	170	126	37	7
2959	He says listening to Beethoven helps him focus.	1.3000	0.04308	180	137	32	11
2960	They sure work us like dogs here.	1.3000	0.04610	150	113	29	8
2961	Have you noticed the change in the Temps since Mr. Kanine took over H.R.?	1.3000	0.04610	150	113	29	8
2962	Carol is such a bitch.	1.3000	0.04380	180	138	30	12
2963	It says my new password has to include four different bones and at least one “Who’s a good girl?”.	1.3000	0.04308	180	137	32	11
2964	So this is diversity. How come they get treats?	1.3000	0.03802	190	139	45	6
2965	We really need to talk to HR about the dress code.	1.3000	0.04159	170	126	37	7
2966	despite what Bruno says I'm not a bitch you know	1.3000	0.04084	190	143	37	10
2967	Look where "bring your pet to work day," has gotten us.	1.2995	0.04237	197	152	31	14
2968	I know they're just dogs, but they still shouldn't be tweeting out journalists' home addresses.	1.2995	0.04196	187	142	34	11
2969	And now they’re serving kibble for lunch!	1.2995	0.04127	187	141	36	10
2970	Outsourcing! Can you believe it?	1.2994	0.04130	177	132	37	8
2971	For the last time Jason, his name is not 'good boy'.	1.2994	0.04207	177	133	35	9
2972	This whole 'inclusion' thing has officially gone too far.	1.2994	0.03890	177	129	43	5
2973	On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, but seriously?	1.2994	0.04357	177	135	31	11
2974	Quick, go get some treats to distract them!	1.2994	0.04374	167	126	32	9
2975	I accept that it's over, but your DOG just unfriended me.	1.2994	0.04374	167	126	32	9
2976	Be careful what you ask for. Management agreed to end foreign outsourcing.	1.2994	0.04290	167	125	34	8
2977	Either adapt or get fired. This isn't the same company you first applied to.	1.2994	0.04736	157	121	25	11
2978	I'm sick of being told I need to act more like a "Boss Bitch" to get ahead here	1.2993	0.04671	147	111	28	8
2979	I think they're bilingual.	1.2989	0.04098	184	138	37	9
2980	I wonder if they told THEM they were overqualified for this job.	1.2989	0.04098	184	138	37	9
2981	The sign says, "All Welcome" but I don't see any cats! What's the deal there?"	1.2989	0.03951	184	136	41	7
2982	Is this "Take Your Dog to Work Week"?	1.2989	0.04241	184	140	33	11
2983	Our coworkers are such animals!	1.2989	0.04407	174	133	30	11
2984	Apparently it’s a celebrity meltdown only dogs can hear.	1.2989	0.04407	174	133	30	11
2985	You're the only male in this place that isn't a REAL dog?	1.2989	0.04482	174	134	28	12
2986	Jesus Christ, what's our president done this time?	1.2983	0.04287	181	138	32	11
2987	I really have a bone to pick with these new guys	1.2983	0.04287	181	138	32	11
2988	No!, I don’t want to play fetch.	1.2983	0.04142	181	136	36	9
2989	They’re cute but the leg humping is getting to be a drag.	1.2983	0.04215	181	137	34	10
2990	Didn’t I tell you the library had dogs playing poker?	1.2983	0.04142	181	136	36	9
2991	This call center will hire anybody	1.2982	0.04221	171	128	35	8
2992	They said this place had gone to the dogs, but I thought that was just a figure of speech!	1.2982	0.03781	218	164	43	11
2993	Forget Pavlov’s bell. Just shout ‘Go Fetch.’	1.2980	0.04157	198	152	33	13
2994	Come on, "Dog" and "Internet" - there must be a joke here somewhere.	1.2979	0.04038	188	141	38	9
2995	They may be your best friends, but they're not mine.	1.2979	0.04108	188	142	36	10
2996	Those damn cat videos -- what would you expect?	1.2979	0.04244	188	144	32	12
2997	Let's login doggy style	1.2979	0.04176	188	143	34	11
2998	Is it racist that Fido told me to work like a dog?	1.2979	0.04108	188	142	36	10
2999	So I told him, "I've been working like a dog, with no remuneration."	1.2979	0.04310	188	145	30	13
3000	He said something about sleeping at the White House and then something about Russian fleas.	1.2978	0.03871	178	130	43	5
3001	The training schedule has gotten a lot better ever since our competitor admitted to the squirrel incident.	1.2976	0.04432	168	128	30	10
3002	For the last time, stop chasing tail at the office.	1.2976	0.04743	168	132	22	14
3003	How could I have thought working for Paw Patrol dispatch was a good career move?	1.2976	0.04351	168	127	32	9
3004	How could working here be ethical treatment of animals, when it isn't even ethical treatment of people?	1.2976	0.04184	168	125	36	7
3005	Ssh, keep it down, a bark followed by two quick yelps means what, again ?	1.2976	0.03814	205	153	43	9
3006	Have you seen Luna? I can't find my mouse	1.2974	0.03873	195	145	42	8
3007	I'm so done with taking all the cat calls around here.	1.2973	0.04221	185	141	33	11
3008	This is not what I imagined when we adopted working dogs..	1.2973	0.03933	185	137	41	7
3009	No, not cat videos, they are doctoring their college applications.	1.2973	0.04007	185	138	39	8
3010	I told you those weren’t just snapchat filters!	1.2973	0.03933	185	137	41	7
3011	My mother told me this country was going to the dogs.	1.2973	0.04290	185	142	31	12
3012	Hey, is there something different about Steve today? I think he got new glasses.	1.2971	0.04233	175	132	34	9
3013	This once was a job people would look up to you doing, now dogs can pick it up in obedience school.	1.2971	0.04309	175	133	32	10
3014	They were employed because they don’t talk.	1.2970	0.04318	165	124	33	8
3015	Yeah I like it doggy style...so what.	1.2970	0.04486	165	126	29	10
3016	Ewww, he keeps licking my hand.	1.2970	0.04567	165	127	27	11
3017	He said I didn't have a dog in this fight.	1.2970	0.04726	165	129	23	13
3018	Please, tell me - Are you human?" - "Well, if I said, yes, would you believe me?	1.2969	0.03910	192	143	41	8
3019	When they said it was a dog-eat-dog workspace, I didn't take them literally!	1.2967	0.04195	182	138	34	10
3020	I was told all the new hires would be hypoallergenic.	1.2967	0.04267	182	139	32	11
3021	What more proof do you need that the economy is too damn strong.....	1.2965	0.04436	172	132	29	11
3022	Well, tell your customer that he is barking up the wrong tree.	1.2965	0.04280	172	130	33	9
3023	They’re drooling on the key pads!	1.2965	0.04359	172	131	31	10
3024	I'll need your support about the snacks in the break room.	1.2965	0.04200	172	129	35	8
3025	I know what to say when a co-worker wears too much cologne, but what about not enough?	1.2963	0.04157	189	144	34	11
3026	I guess the company's 'no animal testing' is out the window."	1.2963	0.04369	162	122	32	8
3027	I know it's a dog eat dog world, but I never imagined this!	1.2963	0.04456	162	123	30	9
3028	No, it's MY turn to cry havoc. It's YOUR turn to let slip the dogs of war!	1.2963	0.03877	189	140	42	7
3029	I lied on my resume: I don't know how to code.	1.2963	0.04624	162	125	26	11
3030	Bring Your Dog to Work Day is going a bit too far.	1.2963	0.04369	162	122	32	8
3031	Is this a human-friendly workplace?	1.2961	0.04090	179	134	37	8
3032	I don’t hear a thing. Do you?	1.2961	0.04925	152	119	21	12
3033	it's a dog eat dog world, karl	1.2959	0.04410	169	129	30	10
3034	If this was supposed to be a dog and pony show, what does that make us?	1.2959	0.04247	169	127	34	8
3035	It's so cute the way they still think that no one knows they're a dog.	1.2957	0.04404	186	145	27	14
3036	Can you believe corporate's new dogma on speciesism?	1.2957	0.04132	186	141	35	10
3037	No not pause, paws.	1.2957	0.04132	186	141	35	10
3038	I liked it better when Boss said "jump" - not "sit" and "stay".	1.2955	0.04212	176	133	34	9
3039	What did you call me.	1.2953	0.04161	193	148	33	12
3040	The break room guy signed a deal with Milk-Bone.	1.2952	0.04462	166	127	29	10
3041	I didn't know they were going to work us like animals	1.2952	0.04380	166	126	31	9
3042	Don’t you think they’ve taken affirmative action a bit too far ?	1.2952	0.04543	166	128	27	11
3043	Did you fart?	1.2952	0.04543	166	128	27	11
3044	I always thought everyone on Wall Street was either a bull or a bear.	1.2952	0.04462	166	127	29	10
3045	Where are all the cat people?	1.2952	0.04543	166	128	27	11
3046	He says it all about the sub woofer!	1.2951	0.04175	183	139	34	10
3047	Are we going to have to put up with this at every full moon?	1.2950	0.03870	200	150	41	9
3048	Ed, rapid or rabid?	1.2949	0.04189	156	115	36	5
3049	On the WEB no one knows they’re Dogs!	1.2948	0.04259	173	131	33	9
3050	And to think, WE get the bum end of the merge while David and Susan are being paid to sniff out drugs!	1.2948	0.04337	173	132	31	10
3051	Affirmative action my foot. They’re DOGS!!	1.2947	0.04335	190	148	28	14
3052	Watch out for machines, they said.	1.2947	0.04070	190	144	36	10
3053	Well, I’ve been bringing boxes of dead birds every Friday morning and still haven’t been invited to poker night	1.2947	0.04001	190	143	38	9
3054	The librarian already told them to keep it to a soft whimper	1.2947	0.03720	207	154	45	8
3055	To use the word properly for once, this library is LITERALLY going to the dogs!	1.2945	0.04346	163	123	32	8
3056	I told you PETA has gone too far.	1.2945	0.04517	163	125	28	10
3057	Bozo over here keeps toying with my mouse.	1.2945	0.04258	163	122	34	7
3058	You know Mark, these Telemarketing jobs have really gone to the dogs!	1.2945	0.04600	163	126	26	11
3059	On the Internet, nobody knows how big a dog you are.	1.2944	0.04071	180	135	37	8
3060	These bitches never stop.	1.2941	0.04250	187	144	31	12
3061	New library policy allows pets if they’re well behaved, but whatever you do, don’t throw that tennis ball	1.2941	0.04543	170	132	26	12
3062	It's got to be extra humiliating to get catfished by a dog.	1.2941	0.04307	170	129	32	9
3063	Those damn dolphins are ruining the curve for everyone!	1.2941	0.04317	187	145	29	13
3064	Yeah, but they get paid in bones and are loyal to a fault.	1.2941	0.04135	153	112	37	4
3065	He smells sooo bad and always drops the ball. Well, at least you're not next to this son of a bitch	1.2941	0.04112	187	142	35	10
3066	Yes, sir. We are all Americans here at the company's customer service center.	1.2938	0.04143	194	149	33	12
3067	I can't make heads or tails of this report.	1.2938	0.04267	177	135	32	10
3068	Remember when I said national security was going to the dogs? Guess what?	1.2938	0.04267	177	135	32	10
3069	How long is that in dog years?	1.2937	0.04573	160	123	27	10
3070	Google really has gone to the dogs.	1.2937	0.04397	160	121	31	8
3071	You might be ok with it - since they're man's best friend.	1.2935	0.04365	184	143	28	13
3072	Who lets the dogs out when they need go?	1.2934	0.04012	167	123	39	5
3073	I'm all for diversity, but this is getting out of hand.	1.2932	0.03770	191	141	44	6
3074	that funny looking guy keeps trying to smell my butt	1.2931	0.04391	174	134	29	11
3075	AND there's kibble all over the break room floor!	1.2931	0.03995	174	129	39	6
3076	See, that's what happens when you let the dogs out.	1.2931	0.04158	174	131	35	8
3077	First I was worried about robots taking my job. When will this end?	1.2930	0.04631	157	121	26	10
3078	Since when are dogs qualified to be air traffic controller’s?	1.2930	0.04804	157	123	22	12
3079	...they're also adding a 'Bring Your Human to Work' day to the company calendar.	1.2928	0.04052	181	136	37	8
3080	This is not how I imagined the AI revolution to turn out	1.2928	0.04273	181	139	31	11
3081	I gotta pee once in a while too.”	1.2928	0.04273	181	139	31	11
3082	I guess they finally found a way to teach an old dog new tricks!	1.2927	0.04055	164	121	38	5
3083	What does four barks and a paw's mean.	1.2927	0.04408	164	125	30	9
3084	When they said Ok, but you'll have to start in the "kennel" I just swallowed my pride . . .	1.2926	0.04023	188	142	37	9
3085	They said this place was going to the dogs, but I didn't imagine this...	1.2924	0.04121	171	128	36	7
3086	Are you sure those were clove cigarettes you gave me earlier?	1.2922	0.04506	154	117	29	8
3087	He keeps telling me that I need to adjust to this new work environment because "we all are working under the same woof."	1.2922	0.04214	154	114	35	5
3088	How long can someone look at funny cat memes?	1.2921	0.04094	178	134	36	8
3089	...when we threatened to walk, they simply merged with Pet Smart.	1.2921	0.04246	178	136	32	10
3090	They like those cat videos too!	1.2919	0.04374	161	122	31	8
3091	Dogs matching dog walkers for other dogs; they are really leading the paradigm shift here.	1.2919	0.04099	161	119	37	5
3092	I had to tell Duke—it's an open concept office, not an open concept bathroom.	1.2919	0.04374	161	122	31	8
3093	'Inclusive' has gone way too far.	1.2919	0.04065	185	140	36	9
3094	OMG, We’re their token hominids!	1.2917	0.04416	168	129	29	10
3095	I thought it was "Take Your Dog to Work Day", not "Send Your Dog to Work Day".	1.2917	0.04496	168	130	27	11
3096	This guy is so rude! He keeps asking me if I wanna be his bitch.. "	1.2917	0.04251	168	127	33	8
3097	This is weirdest speed-dating I have been to!	1.2917	0.04251	168	127	33	8
3098	Barking at the customers gets better results.	1.2915	0.03873	199	150	40	9
3099	It's dog eat dog here. All we have to do is sit quietly and that promotion is ours!	1.2914	0.03720	175	127	45	3
3100	You’d rather work with bulls? Try Wall Street!	1.2914	0.04217	175	133	33	9
3101	Maybe I'd be more focused after a chew toy break.	1.2914	0.04517	175	137	25	13
3102	The worst part is you can't say anything or they'll call you an enemy of diversity.	1.2914	0.04138	175	132	35	8
3103	And they say automation is the biggest threat to the job market!?	1.2914	0.04138	175	132	35	8
3104	When you suggested a puppies & internet cafe, I thought it meant we get to snuggle them while we work.	1.2914	0.04217	175	133	33	9
3105	Who gave out the password?	1.2914	0.04294	175	134	31	10
3106	I can tell... someone ate their own vomit again last night!	1.2910	0.04211	189	146	31	12
3107	This is what you get for suggesting we all do it "doggy style", Brian.	1.2910	0.04005	189	143	37	9
3108	What if one day we're replaced by robots?	1.2910	0.04211	189	146	31	12
3109	It's called digital bark-eting.	1.2910	0.04211	189	146	31	12
3110	Not only did they displace the whole marketing team, but I heard that our wages are going down to three that-a-boys an hour!	1.2909	0.03941	165	121	40	4
3111	I can't believe how tight the job market is nowadays.	1.2909	0.04469	165	127	28	10
3112	Hey geek boy, are you a son of a bitch, too?	1.2908	0.04106	196	151	33	12
3113	I don’t believe nobody knows!	1.2908	0.04106	196	151	33	12
3114	No wonder this place has a reputation for working you like a dog.	1.2907	0.04183	172	130	34	8
3115	I didn't understand "Bring your pet to work," either.	1.2907	0.04571	172	135	24	13
3116	It's actually make your dog work day.	1.2907	0.04017	172	128	38	6
3117	Their Parents are Millennials…	1.2907	0.04183	172	130	34	8
3118	What does she mean, "one ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy . . ."	1.2905	0.04151	179	136	34	9
3119	THIS is the company's new diversity program?	1.2905	0.04226	179	137	32	10
3120	Do you suppose we met a quota?	1.2905	0.04299	179	138	30	11
3121	My dog could do better than these new hires ...	1.2905	0.04074	179	135	36	8
3122	What's up dog!	1.2905	0.04226	179	137	32	10
3123	Their boss is playing golf in Mar-a-Lago, they're just tweet-temping for the afternoon.	1.2903	0.04046	186	141	36	9
3124	How do I know who let the dogs out?	1.2903	0.04117	186	142	34	10
3125	These filthy dogs are taking good jobs away from hard-working American people and they're doing it for scraps!	1.2903	0.04046	186	141	36	9
3126	I’m not sure asking them to tag us is the best idea, Dan.”	1.2903	0.04117	186	142	34	10
3127	Give them all the calls about yoga pants.	1.2903	0.03829	217	166	39	12
3128	I think the Cocker Spaniel is logging our keystrokes.	1.2902	0.03948	193	146	38	9
3129	So, we don't get dental coverage but they get canine?	1.2901	0.04607	162	126	25	11
3130	I'm working like a dog.	1.2901	0.04438	162	124	29	9
3131	If it's about a cat stuck in a tree, pass it to Rosie!	1.2899	0.04230	169	128	33	8
3132	We won them in a poker game	1.2899	0.04312	169	129	31	9
3133	Ever since we gave pets credit cards, this place has become a zoo.	1.2899	0.04312	169	129	31	9
3134	This is not what I expected when I applied to work at Top Dog Entertainment!	1.2898	0.03957	176	131	39	6
3135	The inner sanctum of Google Translate	1.2898	0.04422	176	137	27	12
3136	I can’t log in either—it keeps asking me for my passwoof.	1.2898	0.04348	176	136	29	11
3137	Cmon, what did you expect at the SPCA?	1.2898	0.04422	176	137	27	12
3138	We are a dog food company, after all.	1.2896	0.04232	183	141	31	11
3139	.. and so she yells at him: "Wanna find leads? Getta dog"	1.2896	0.03861	183	136	41	6
3140	Their alpha dog is selected by computer testing.	1.2896	0.04088	183	139	35	9
3141	Are you going to the company party? Like, I don’t know how to fetch.	1.2895	0.03987	190	144	37	9
3142	How long before we're replaced?	1.2895	0.04441	152	115	30	7
3143	Who knew this job was going to the dogs?	1.2893	0.04087	197	152	33	12
3144	When they said the pay was 15 bones, I played along. I'm starting to regret my attempt to be hip.	1.2893	0.03959	197	150	37	10
3145	What was he thinking? He's already on a short leash!	1.2893	0.04403	159	121	30	8
3146	Is this truly the best plan to mitigate bias in our AI models?	1.2893	0.04218	159	119	34	6
3147	Psssssst! Are you sure we're in the right language lab?	1.2892	0.04014	166	123	38	5
3148	I don't think any of them have proper training for this work.	1.2892	0.04278	166	126	32	8
3149	Internet breeding.	1.2892	0.04191	166	125	34	7
3150	Do you think this equal opportunity thing's gone a bit too far?	1.2890	0.04081	173	130	36	7
3151	Didn't they tell you it was a Yelp Line?	1.2890	0.04321	173	133	30	10
3152	They are using their humans' names as passwords. By Lori Feldman Coral Springs	1.2890	0.04548	173	136	24	13
3153	They're all on Buttbook!"	1.2890	0.04398	173	134	28	11
3154	All they said when they hired me was that the bathrooms were gender neutral... but?	1.2890	0.04242	173	132	32	9
3155	Can you believe these new diversity hires?	1.2890	0.04321	173	133	30	10
3156	They say he's the GOAT.	1.2889	0.03978	180	135	38	7
3157	This place is turning into a zoo!	1.2888	0.04027	187	142	36	9
3158	Is this what all gamers smell like?	1.2888	0.04167	187	144	32	11
3159	Where’s the ‘fetch’ engine?	1.2886	0.03904	201	153	38	10
3160	They’re all on Snapcat	1.2885	0.04548	156	120	27	9
3161	So it started with me wondering what my dog does while I'm at work... next thing I know I'm working in accounts.	1.2883	0.04327	163	124	31	8
3162	Duh! This the language lab. They're studying English as a second language.	1.2883	0.04582	163	127	25	11
3163	Have you read the book Animal Farm?	1.2882	0.04125	170	128	35	7
3164	Ruff week, hey?	1.2882	0.04527	170	133	25	12
3165	They warned me that computer programming is a dog-eat-dog career choice.	1.2882	0.04370	170	131	29	10
3166	I love cat videos too, but this is ridiculous.	1.2881	0.03938	177	132	39	6
3167	First it was bulls and bears - now it's the whole damn zoo.	1.2881	0.04175	177	135	33	9
3168	Seriously? RuffPost?	1.2881	0.04400	177	138	27	12
3169	He promised he'd been spayed.	1.2881	0.04251	177	136	31	10
3170	He keeps complaining to HR about his insurance not covering 'Dentastix'.	1.2880	0.04351	184	144	27	13
3171	Would it be appropriate to wear my Catwoman- costume for the Halloween party?	1.2880	0.03827	191	143	41	7
3172	They are years ahead of you.	1.2879	0.04069	198	153	33	12
3173	This place has obviously gone to the dogs.	1.2876	0.04699	153	119	24	10
3174	The New Yorker will let any caption through...no matter how stupid.	1.2876	0.04789	153	120	22	11
3175	Whenever I fetch data from the server, the boss hounds me to do it again.	1.2875	0.04195	160	120	34	6
3176	Lunch in the cafeteria will never be the same.	1.2875	0.04379	160	122	30	8
3177	I didn't realize I was so over-qualified for this position.	1.2874	0.04256	167	127	32	8
3178	It doesn't matter--we don't have webcams and they work like dogs for us.	1.2874	0.04256	167	127	32	8
3179	We should warn somebody. These guys are trying to hack the SPCA elections.	1.2874	0.04737	167	133	20	14
3180	You got any bones with you?	1.2874	0.03978	174	130	38	6
3181	I can't even teach MY dog to poop outside.	1.2874	0.04376	174	135	28	11
3182	I think the German Shepherd is the cheater in our poker game.	1.2874	0.04299	174	134	30	10
3183	They said it was the rat race. Nobody said anything about dog eat dog.	1.2873	0.04036	181	137	36	8
3184	I say kibble instead of bagels is the last straw	1.2873	0.03719	181	133	44	4
3185	I'm all for diversity, but it seems like the administration may be taking things a bit too far.	1.2873	0.04185	181	139	32	10
3186	I think we are the last of the breed!	1.2873	0.03959	181	136	38	7
3187	I think I just got peed on!!!	1.2873	0.04036	181	137	36	8
3188	When they told you it was a ‘dog-friendly’ workplace, you probably thought people would be doing most of the the work	1.2873	0.04258	181	140	30	11
3189	It's becoming clear to me that it's not the robots who are taking over	1.2873	0.04185	181	139	32	10
3190	Don't worry, they don't byte.	1.2872	0.04009	188	143	36	9
3191	It's that canine virus.	1.2872	0.04216	188	146	30	12
3192	I dare you to shout "WALKIES!	1.2867	0.04824	143	111	23	9
3193	If only they would treat us like dogs.	1.2867	0.04762	150	117	23	10
3194	No, it's K nine one one. What did you expect?	1.2866	0.04146	157	117	35	5
3195	I’d love to take a quick break outside But, guessing everyone’s going to want to join us.	1.2866	0.04475	164	127	27	10
3196	This place is going to the dogs.	1.2865	0.04654	171	136	21	14
3197	I used to just be worried about AI, but this EIEIO development has me really stressed out	1.2865	0.04019	171	128	37	6
3198	I feel like all they do is bark at the callers.	1.2865	0.04426	171	133	27	11
3199	What do you mean 'go outside?'	1.2865	0.04187	171	130	33	8
3200	I just found out they get ten-and-a-half time for working late... .	1.2865	0.04187	171	130	33	8
3201	They're searching for smutt.	1.2865	0.04426	171	133	27	11
3202	I really didn't think the whole 'bring your dog TO work' policy would pan out like this.	1.2865	0.04378	178	139	27	12
3203	Funny, John. You never cared about racial justice issues before.	1.2865	0.04155	178	136	33	9
3204	Who trained them to give up fetching for phishing?	1.2865	0.04155	178	136	33	9
3205	I don't get it, he's just smashing the keyboard.	1.2865	0.04049	185	141	35	9
3206	Are you sure that was the dog?	1.2865	0.03951	192	146	37	9
3207	How can we compete?'They're paid with dog biscuits."	1.2865	0.04019	192	147	35	10
3208	I told him I identify as a man and he says, "OK, Bitch".	1.2864	0.04235	199	157	27	15
3209	Don't you think they are taking workplace diversity a bit too far!	1.2857	0.04200	175	134	32	9
3210	If you think this’s surprising, you should see them in a trench-coat.	1.2857	0.03973	168	125	38	5
3211	We're testing the infinite number of chimps theory, but chimps are too expensive.	1.2857	0.03940	182	137	38	7
3212	I know we prioritize diversity, but this is a bit much.	1.2857	0.04308	182	142	28	12
3213	I can see his butt.	1.2857	0.04062	168	126	36	6
3214	Yeah, but I KNOW that they are dogs!	1.2857	0.04091	182	139	34	9
3215	Have you noticed that the Internet has become a "dog eat dog" world?	1.2857	0.04630	147	113	26	8
3216	It's not a bad place to work. Just stay out of the dog whistle politics.	1.2857	0.04399	168	130	28	10
3217	How can I get anything done in this dog eat dog atmosphere?	1.2857	0.04165	182	140	32	10
3218	Careful - they do byte.	1.2857	0.04263	189	148	28	13
3219	It's been a hard day's night, and they've been working like dogs!	1.2857	0.04149	168	127	34	7
3220	I was also wondering how are they getting paid.	1.2857	0.03958	175	131	38	6
3221	Don't you remember? It's 'Put Your Pet to Work Day'.	1.2857	0.03875	175	130	40	5
3222	They get hired because they are a 'good boy.'	1.2857	0.04234	168	128	32	8
3223	This must be how baby boomers felt when open office spaces became the norm.	1.2857	0.04149	168	127	34	7
3224	These young pups fresh out of school are so much better at fetching data.	1.2857	0.04091	182	139	34	9
3225	You can't say that the clientle here isn't diverse!	1.2850	0.03648	193	143	45	5
3226	I'd be more impressed if you'd pick up their poop.	1.2849	0.04030	186	142	35	9
3227	And in the break room, he pawed at my boob.	1.2849	0.03884	186	140	39	7
3228	Just bark. They don't know your human on the internet.	1.2849	0.04284	179	139	29	11
3229	I'm just saying, I didn't know we'd be expected to work like dogs!	1.2849	0.04404	172	134	27	11
3230	When Sally said our company has gone to the dogs I thought she was speaking metaphorically.	1.2849	0.04326	172	133	29	10
3231	This proves what we’ve thought for awhile. On the internet know one knows your a dog.	1.2848	0.04451	165	128	27	10
3232	Why do we have animals in our office?" "Well, they're smarter than all the human applicants we had.	1.2848	0.04106	165	124	35	6
3233	I know telemedicine is the future. But for therapy dogs?	1.2848	0.04220	158	119	33	6
3234	Wait, I thought we were here to play poker...	1.2848	0.04826	151	119	21	11
3235	Apparently chew toys are on sale online.	1.2847	0.04142	144	106	35	3
3236	I forgot the Giant Schnauzer was in the Working group.	1.2843	0.03673	197	147	44	6
3237	If one more customer growls at me I'm quitting.	1.2842	0.03829	190	143	40	7
3238	Well, now we know why the lunch room menu suddenly includes kibbles.	1.2842	0.03844	183	137	40	6
3239	Fido won't appreciate you sitting in his chair.	1.2842	0.04217	183	142	30	11
3240	I told you Facebook was going to the dogs.	1.2841	0.04551	176	140	22	14
3241	What if cryptokibble is just a bubble?	1.2841	0.04256	176	136	30	10
3242	Management did say they wanted more dogged analysts.	1.2841	0.04021	176	133	36	7
3243	Ever since they installed free wifi this place has gone to the dogs...	1.2840	0.04127	169	128	34	7
3244	It takes me seven dog's years to earn their annual salary and I was fighting for gender equality?	1.2840	0.04041	169	127	36	6
3245	Why do I feel like a Hot Dog For Lunch?	1.2840	0.04456	169	132	26	11
3246	You're dreaming Adam. You're still unemployed.	1.2840	0.04332	162	124	30	8
3247	Do you realize they are charging us by the dog hour?	1.2840	0.04057	162	121	36	5
3248	I told you not to give a puppy an iPad.	1.2840	0.04332	162	124	30	8
3249	Ugh, Debbie brought her kid to work again?	1.2838	0.04798	148	116	22	10
3250	This place is a zoo today.	1.2834	0.03939	187	142	37	8
3251	At least we didn't have to walk the other A.I.	1.2834	0.04083	187	144	33	10
3252	'Nobody on the Internet knows, but I know!"	1.2833	0.03961	180	136	37	7
3253	It AI! You know, Animal Intelligence.	1.2833	0.03961	180	136	37	7
3254	All day with the on-line poker...	1.2832	0.04304	173	134	29	10
3255	They can't possibly meet quotas without opposable thumbs!	1.2832	0.04225	173	133	31	9
3256	Carryl, all they do is sit inside and play video games. Your turn to get them out for a walk. And, don't forget the ball.	1.2832	0.04304	173	134	29	10
3257	I told you these college guys are animals.	1.2832	0.03894	173	129	39	5
3258	Online support has gone to the dogs.	1.2832	0.04225	173	133	31	9
3259	I miss the days when dogs socialized by sniffing rears.	1.2832	0.03760	226	175	38	13
3260	For the third time, don't bark at me, I am not a dog.	1.2831	0.04509	166	130	25	11
3261	I think now they've gone too far with the animals are people too thing.	1.2830	0.04291	159	121	31	7
3262	The training class just got out of hand once they found that they could order treats themselves by pushing the right buttons!	1.2830	0.04291	159	121	31	7
3263	I agree they're incompetent--but who knew they could even do it?	1.2830	0.04291	159	121	31	7
3264	It’s “bring your human to work day” right?	1.2828	0.03657	198	148	44	6
3265	I think we've been hound-sized.	1.2827	0.03954	191	146	36	9
3266	He’s been on Tinder for hours, just swiping right on bitches	1.2827	0.04158	191	149	30	12
3267	I hate to say it, but I think this company's going to the dogs.	1.2826	0.04197	184	143	30	11
3268	I guess it's become a dog-friendly work place.	1.2826	0.03979	184	140	36	8
3269	I used to love working here, but this place is turning into a zoo.	1.2826	0.04125	184	142	32	10
3270	I'm so embarrassed. I forgot my headphones and I am the only one set to audible frequency.	1.2826	0.04125	184	142	32	10
3271	Can you imagine their passwords? Arf arf?	1.2825	0.04159	177	136	32	9
3272	That's why the company slogan is "Sit, Down and Rollover".	1.2825	0.04384	177	139	26	12
3273	When management said they'd be dealing with "high frequency" complaints, I thought they meant the repetitive ones.	1.2825	0.04159	177	136	32	9
3274	I know it's a cliche, but this place is going to the dogs.	1.2825	0.04001	177	134	36	7
3275	I think this is carrying diversity a little too far.	1.2825	0.04159	177	136	32	9
3276	Jeff, I don’t want to have to tell you again. Stop barking up the wrong tree.	1.2825	0.04384	177	139	26	12
3277	Stop calling me pet!	1.2824	0.04190	170	130	32	8
3278	You really need to start owning up to your farts!	1.2824	0.04510	170	134	24	12
3279	Well the office doesn’t FEEL very dog-friendly	1.2824	0.04273	170	131	30	9
3280	Bringing your dog to actually work day?	1.2824	0.04587	170	135	22	13
3281	What did you expect at "Dr. Doolittle's Help Line"?	1.2824	0.04021	170	128	36	6
3282	They just called another all-paws meeting.	1.2824	0.04353	170	132	28	10
3283	Being your first day,you might not want bring out the 'doggie' bag.	1.2822	0.04220	163	124	32	7
3284	This is not what I signed on for when I joined the Pet Help Hotline .	1.2822	0.04220	163	124	32	7
3285	I am fed up with affirmative action!	1.2821	0.04436	156	120	28	8
3286	Is it me, or is telemarketing going to the dogs?	1.2819	0.03921	188	143	37	8
3287	At least these dogs know what they're making; at Theranos, I didn't know what was what.	1.2819	0.03993	188	144	35	9
3288	What's with all their potty breaks and play time?	1.2819	0.03921	188	143	37	8
3289	They're just trying them out management is keeping them on a short leash	1.2819	0.04160	149	111	34	4
3290	Didn't you ever read "Animal Farm"?	1.2819	0.04268	149	112	32	5
3291	I'm tired of losing out on promotions to shih tzus and being rewarded with milkbones.	1.2818	0.04019	181	138	35	8
3292	I think they're creating random passwords.	1.2818	0.04095	181	139	33	9
3293	I went to college for this!	1.2817	0.03618	213	161	44	8
3294	I told you this was a dog-eat-dog company but I had no idea it would get this bad.	1.2816	0.04204	174	134	31	9
3295	Have you noticed that this place is going to the dogs?	1.2816	0.04204	174	134	31	9
3296	I think the ad said Ca-Nine to Five	1.2812	0.03866	192	146	38	8
3297	This bring your pet to work day is a little much!	1.2812	0.04005	192	148	34	10
3298	I mean, how was I supposed to know that this is what they meant when they asked me if I liked working with dogs?	1.2812	0.04268	160	122	31	7
3299	Now, they are demanding unisex bathrooms!	1.2812	0.04268	160	122	31	7
3300	I agree — the Internet has gone to the dogs	1.2812	0.04449	160	124	27	9
3301	Let's leave. This place has gone to the dogs.	1.2811	0.03960	185	141	36	8
3302	Do you think, like, OMG, like, we're becoming, like, too, like, totally inclusive? And I don't, like, speak 'Canine'.	1.2809	0.03901	178	134	38	6
3303	Bring you pet to work'"day was a bad idea	1.2809	0.04061	178	136	34	8
3304	We're being dog-sized, not downsized.	1.2809	0.04061	178	136	34	8
3305	Removing the mouse pads was the key!	1.2809	0.04214	178	138	30	10
3306	I don’t know Daphne, Shaggy & Scooby hired them?	1.2809	0.04138	178	137	32	9
3307	They’ said they’re taking us for walk on the beach later. Whatd’ya bet we run across that half-buried Statue of Liberty?	1.2807	0.04563	171	136	22	13
3308	My bonus was in kibble!	1.2806	0.03948	196	151	35	10
3309	Is it just me, or do the new interns act like animals?	1.2806	0.03948	196	151	35	10
3310	Yes, I gave him my headphones. So what? He can just hear things that you and I can't.	1.2804	0.03681	189	141	43	5
3311	Look..,I have nothing to do with Whitehouse restructuring!	1.2804	0.04314	189	150	25	14
3312	Yes. You’re still in the dog house until I say otherwise.	1.2804	0.03903	189	144	37	8
3313	How the heck did these guys get security clearance?	1.2803	0.04412	157	121	28	8
3314	Trust me, this guy needs a distemper shot.	1.2803	0.04318	157	120	30	7
3315	Ok, Millenials isn't just a people thing. So now what?	1.2802	0.04000	182	139	35	8
3316	What was in that smoothie?	1.2802	0.04075	182	140	33	9
3317	What the hell does “woof, woof” mean ?	1.2802	0.04075	182	140	33	9
3318	I thought they trained these guys.	1.2802	0.04222	182	142	29	11
3319	I though this was the rat race!	1.2800	0.04104	175	134	33	8
3320	I think they're going to be taking over all the tracking devices.	1.2800	0.04183	175	135	31	9
3321	Corporate finance, it really is a dog eat dog world	1.2798	0.04130	168	128	33	7
3322	Wouldn’t you think you or I would be top dog on this shift?	1.2798	0.04130	168	128	33	7
3323	Pass it along. At three there's going to be a walkout.	1.2798	0.03953	168	126	37	5
3324	So,who's the new bitch with the ball?	1.2798	0.04462	168	132	25	11
3325	Sorry; I could only hire Woffers. Tweeters took another job.	1.2798	0.04215	168	129	31	8
3326	Dog breath!	1.2798	0.04130	168	128	33	7
3327	You'll see Tom: next, they will cut our wage to the bone.	1.2798	0.04381	168	131	27	10
3328	I told you the office was going to the dogs!	1.2798	0.04215	168	129	31	8
3329	He may speak perfect English, but he’ll never be made supervisor.	1.2798	0.03769	168	124	41	3
3330	So much has changed in 25 years now dogs use the Internet openly.	1.2796	0.04086	186	144	32	10
3331	he just called me an animal	1.2796	0.04015	186	143	34	9
3332	Just because they're dogs, they think they can get away with playing Fortnite on company time.	1.2795	0.04245	161	123	31	7
3333	The work is good, but the pay is liver tablets.	1.2795	0.04596	161	127	23	11
3334	What the hell am I doing here?	1.2794	0.04861	136	106	22	8
3335	Why are we the only ones wearing our human costumes, Dave?	1.2793	0.04194	179	139	30	10
3336	In this state, they can't even apply for a permit until they're 112	1.2793	0.04041	179	137	34	8
3337	I know the company has a dog friendly policy now, but don’t you think this is a bit much?	1.2793	0.04118	179	138	32	9
3338	I didn't realize how insensitive I was being when I said 'we need to debug everything'.	1.2793	0.04341	179	141	26	12
3339	I wasn't trying to be offensive. I just said I was having a 'rough' day.	1.2792	0.04370	154	118	29	7
3340	I don’t know what they’re watching. I don’t get Petflicks.	1.2792	0.04370	154	118	29	7
3341	When I started here I couldn't tell the difference...	1.2791	0.04065	172	131	34	7
3342	The workplace has become more friendly since the company went to the dogs.	1.2791	0.03894	172	129	38	5
3343	In here, everybody knows who's a dog.	1.2789	0.03886	190	145	37	8
3344	I think Animal Rights Activists have gone a little too far.	1.2788	0.04263	165	127	30	8
3345	They are too preoccupied with finding the ball. Could you pick it up off the floor and throw it?	1.2788	0.04175	165	126	32	7
3346	I have to go see Diane in HR at 2 p.m. Apparently it's "culturally insensitive" to make a remark about Spot being in a hurry.	1.2788	0.04349	165	128	28	9
3347	They’re so much better at it than I am.	1.2787	0.03905	183	139	37	7
3348	"Looks like a stick-fetching video game to me	1.2787	0.03748	183	137	41	5
3349	This department has gone to the dogs.	1.2785	0.03829	219	171	35	13
3350	On the dating sites, everyone assumes you're a dog.	1.2785	0.03604	219	167	43	9
3351	If this internship lands me a job, I'll finally have guaranteed pet insurance.	1.2784	0.03921	176	133	37	6
3352	These new coders are animals.	1.2784	0.04083	176	135	33	8
3353	It's amazing how much faster they work when someone yells "mush".	1.2784	0.04240	176	137	29	10
3354	Well, we might get paid in dog biscuits but at least we get walks.	1.2781	0.03933	169	127	37	5
3355	When Sheila said this place had gone to the dogs, I didn’t think she meant literally	1.2781	0.04277	169	131	29	9
3356	Who's the bitch that let in all these dogs?	1.2781	0.04517	169	134	23	12
3357	What's next? My cat stealing my identity?	1.2781	0.04022	169	128	35	6
3358	When is our walkies?	1.2781	0.04022	169	128	35	6
3359	Who knew ROBO Calling would be this easy!	1.2781	0.04438	169	133	25	11
3360	Did you see the staff room? Dog bones, again. What I wouldn't give for a danish.	1.2781	0.04022	169	128	35	6
3361	No cats in the office! I can’t believe it.	1.2781	0.03849	187	142	38	7
3362	Can you believe this affirmative action? I swear, half of the people here aren't qualified.	1.2780	0.03631	205	155	43	7
3363	I wish they wouldn't bark at the customers.	1.2778	0.03780	198	151	39	8
3364	This one is searched for "cute human videos"	1.2778	0.04247	180	141	28	11
3365	Is it Pet Neutrality or Net Neutrality??	1.2778	0.04400	162	126	27	9
3366	I'm all opposable thumbs on this contraption.	1.2778	0.04222	162	124	31	7
3367	Now that everyone knows they're on the Internet, what's their next trick?	1.2775	0.03796	191	145	39	7
3368	I hear that they are particularly good at directing driverless cars.	1.2775	0.03939	191	147	35	9
3369	A monkey could do your job Jeff, what are you barking a me for?!	1.2775	0.04045	173	132	34	7
3370	I've heard of equality in the work place but this is ridiculous.	1.2774	0.04534	155	121	25	9
3371	You always said that they work us like dogs.	1.2774	0.04248	155	118	31	6
3372	They’re bitches but I’m the boss.	1.2772	0.03887	184	140	37	7
3373	I'm tired of all the DMs about sniffing my butt.	1.2772	0.04109	184	143	31	10
3374	I thought they were kidding when they said that this place was a zoo.	1.2772	0.04181	184	144	29	11
3375	This outsourcing has gotten out of hand.	1.2772	0.03962	184	141	35	8
3376	I don't trust this guy, his tail keeps brushing my shoulders!	1.2772	0.04109	184	143	31	10
3377	When you said this job has gone to the dogs. You really meant it.	1.2772	0.03962	184	141	35	8
3378	This cartoon is really bad and I feel like I should be featured in something more amusing	1.2769	0.03951	195	151	34	10
3379	They sent in the dogs but where are the ponies?	1.2768	0.04218	177	138	29	10
3380	Jeez, we get a few Herman Miller Aeron chairs in and the place goes to the dogs!	1.2768	0.04063	177	136	33	8
3381	Can you turn down your music? I think the guy next to me is going to howl.	1.2768	0.04142	177	137	31	9
3382	The dress code policy has gotten really casual since the merger.	1.2768	0.03984	177	135	35	7
3383	What does ruff, ruff, ruff mean?	1.2766	0.03680	188	141	42	5
3384	Never work with animals” , they said at Acting School.	1.2765	0.04088	170	130	33	7
3385	What the heck? I've got the doggies this weekend, and you've got the kids.	1.2765	0.04255	170	132	29	9
3386	I think Jerry just sent me a dick pic.	1.2762	0.04298	181	143	26	12
3387	Things have really gone to hell around here after they replaced Mr. Katz.	1.2761	0.04629	163	130	21	12
3388	They told me I'd be programming C.A.T. I've never worked with D.O.G.	1.2761	0.04289	163	126	29	8
3389	Remind me again. Is squirrel DEFCON 2 or 1?	1.2760	0.03779	192	146	39	7
3390	Something's changed. They're on the internet, but everyone seems to know they're dogs.	1.2759	0.04186	174	135	30	9
3391	They figured out dogs are the best scammers	1.2759	0.04106	174	134	32	8
3392	Let's hope it's still a dog eat dog world.	1.2759	0.04186	174	135	30	9
3393	I’m a strong believer in diversity hiring but maybe it’s gotten away from us.	1.2757	0.03944	185	142	35	8
3394	I brought my dogs TO work.	1.2757	0.03944	185	142	35	8
3395	You’re paid more than the rest of us so stop staring and get back to work!	1.2757	0.04090	185	144	31	10
3396	First of all, this is not doggy style. Secondly, I don’t consent to it.	1.2756	0.04599	156	123	23	10
3397	I've had enough of endlessly answering calls from pet lovers, who don't understand why Trump is the first U.S. President in 120 years to not have a dog in the White House.	1.2755	0.03999	196	153	32	11
3398	Do you say "Arf-Arf'" or "Bow-Wow" when answering?	1.2753	0.04272	178	140	27	11
3399	I’m done working for 15 bones an hour!	1.2753	0.04121	178	138	31	9
3400	On the internet nobody knows dogs are playing poker	1.2752	0.04652	149	117	23	9
3401	How many “good boys” can he possibly talk to in one day?	1.2752	0.04453	149	115	27	7
3402	Next semester, I’m getting an emotional support animal too.	1.2751	0.03664	189	142	42	5
3403	Can you pass me the ball please?	1.2751	0.03959	189	146	34	9
3404	Someone shat in the break room	1.2750	0.03943	200	156	33	11
3405	I'm starting to think the K9 Unit wasn't the best idea to summarize the Mueller Report.	1.2750	0.04339	160	124	28	8
3406	Hey, Max dropped his ball, again.	1.2749	0.04067	171	131	33	7
3407	I thought on the Internet no one's supposed to know you're a dog!	1.2749	0.04151	171	132	31	8
3408	I am working like a dog here”	1.2749	0.04233	171	133	29	9
3409	They're barking up the wrong phone tree.	1.2749	0.04151	171	132	31	8
3410	They took diversity in the work place too far.	1.2747	0.04133	182	142	30	10
3411	I don't know...didn't you bring the bags?	1.2747	0.04206	182	143	28	11
3412	Well, they pay them in dog money—which is left overs from last night's dinner.	1.2747	0.03748	182	137	40	5
3413	I don't believe it, they are getting more responses than us!	1.2746	0.03616	193	145	43	5
3414	You're the one who said we wouldn't look out of place here!	1.2744	0.04266	164	127	29	8
3415	Let's get out of this kennel, they're planning on neutering us.	1.2744	0.04438	164	129	25	10
3416	Well I don't think any of it's fair - this new BOWWOW operating system, having to learn Canine, the constant panting and sniffing - and my deskmate has FLEAS!	1.2743	0.04005	175	134	34	7
3417	How will anyone know we're not dogs.	1.2743	0.04165	175	136	30	9
3418	Well, they said on the internet nobody can tell you're a dog!	1.2742	0.03696	186	140	41	5
3419	Woof means no!	1.2741	0.03641	197	149	42	6
3420	Think we can get it switched to Bring Your Goldfish to Work Day?	1.2741	0.04109	197	156	28	13
3421	I don’t know... I guess I offended him. I just said that this stock is a real - well, you know.	1.2739	0.04573	157	124	23	10
3422	Since when does woof have an umlaut?	1.2739	0.04297	157	121	29	7
3423	Why is everyone boning up on their coding?	1.2739	0.04201	157	120	31	6
3424	Yea...it is a dog eat dog company...so what?	1.2738	0.04363	168	132	26	10
3425	I don't think Human Resources will help this time.	1.2738	0.04280	168	131	28	9
3426	We have to be very careful how we speak to them about the pooper-scooper rules.	1.2738	0.03933	168	127	36	5
3427	Did you know who owned Cables-N-Bits?	1.2738	0.04363	168	132	26	10
3428	I guess none of them are old.	1.2738	0.04444	168	133	24	11
3429	Lets go play outside	1.2737	0.04101	179	139	31	9
3430	This isn’t what I thought they meant by “bring your pet to work day.”	1.2737	0.04101	179	139	31	9
3431	I just feel like working like a human is not good enough.	1.2737	0.04011	190	148	32	10
3432	I thought this was supposed to be a vegan workspace?	1.2733	0.04037	161	122	34	5
3433	I thought this was a cat cafe!	1.2733	0.04316	161	125	28	8
3434	Seriously, the corporate culture here has really gone to the dogs.	1.2733	0.04130	172	133	31	8
3435	There’s something wrong with my audio feed... all I’m hearing is a high-pitched whine.	1.2732	0.04039	183	142	32	9
3436	Since when did 'I accidentally pooped on the carpet' become a 911 emergency?	1.2732	0.04113	183	143	30	10
3437	I am fine with whole thing but the smell of wet fur on rainy days	1.2732	0.04326	183	146	24	13
3438	What kind of animal are you?	1.2732	0.04185	183	144	28	11
3439	Why does the teacher keep calling me a bitch	1.2732	0.04256	183	145	26	12
3440	The office parties are a howl.	1.2732	0.03885	194	150	35	9
3441	Do you remember when New Yorker cartoons made at sense?	1.2732	0.04215	194	155	25	14
3442	They asked if they can bring their humans to work. And I like humans, sure, but you never know when one will bite.	1.2727	0.04051	187	146	31	10
3443	There was a sign on the door that clearly said, 'No food or drink in the computer room.' Do you think we should tell someone?	1.2727	0.04066	165	126	33	6
3444	Jesus Christ, Steve, they work everyone like dogs here!	1.2727	0.03833	187	143	37	7
3445	There are few IT people these days, and so the whole place has really gone to the dogs.	1.2727	0.04243	165	128	29	8
3446	Unleash the app!	1.2727	0.03907	187	144	35	8
3447	I need to go to the bathroom, but they keep barking “stay!”	1.2727	0.04222	176	138	28	10
3448	Next thing you know, pigs will be flying.	1.2727	0.04298	176	139	26	11
3449	Has Katie been hounding you about your timesheets, too?	1.2727	0.03938	154	115	36	3
3450	Which one do you think is the hacker?	1.2727	0.03880	165	124	37	4
3451	This equal opportunity stuff sucks!	1.2723	0.04061	191	150	30	11
3452	Maybe this has something to with that guy saying given enough time a monkey could compose a symphony.	1.2723	0.03852	191	147	36	8
3453	I just ate the last milk bone.	1.2723	0.04128	191	151	28	12
3454	And it’s not like they can program.	1.2723	0.04128	191	151	28	12
3455	Does it smell like wet dog in here to you?	1.2723	0.03923	191	148	34	9
3456	Next thing you know, they'll be running for President!	1.2722	0.04375	180	144	23	13
3457	Yeah, I know, and they are paid with Milkbone.	1.2722	0.03681	180	135	41	4
3458	I was hoping to meet a different breed when I enrolled in this Online Obedience Course	1.2722	0.04081	180	140	31	9
3459	You only get the kibble if you're wearing a dog collar.	1.2722	0.03926	180	138	35	7
3460	I think we'd better contact the agency this temp situation has gotten out of hand.	1.2722	0.04002	169	129	34	6
3461	I know.... Wall to wall grass and fire hydrants.	1.2722	0.03980	158	119	35	4
3462	Successful scamming of pet owners requires sympathetic faces.	1.2722	0.04178	158	121	31	6
3463	I thought they said we'd be taken over by robots!	1.2718	0.03799	195	150	37	8
3464	I told you, fetching sticks doesn't cut it with dogs these days.	1.2717	0.04093	184	144	30	10
3465	Keep barking! We're the last of the IT clan.	1.2717	0.03792	184	140	38	6
3466	I warned you this really is a dog’s job.	1.2717	0.04190	173	135	29	9
3467	This nepotism is getting out of control.	1.2717	0.04190	173	135	29	9
3468	I guess I didn't understand the boss's plan to hire more diverse employees.	1.2716	0.04467	162	128	24	10
3469	I'm a Snapchat user, so I don't get their MarkYourSpace.com	1.2716	0.04292	162	126	28	8
3470	When on the internet people don’t Realize they are dogs.	1.2716	0.04381	162	127	26	9
3471	Have you seen what’s become of the office washroom?	1.2715	0.04401	151	117	27	7
3472	They're on contract to vet the proposed cute puppy videos.	1.2715	0.04299	151	116	29	6
3473	Is it just me, or is this place going to the dogs?	1.2714	0.03946	199	156	32	11
3474	I said, these guys are a bunch of ANIMALS!!	1.2713	0.03961	188	146	33	9
3475	I thought he was kidding when he said it was going to the dogs.	1.2712	0.03965	177	136	34	7
3476	Dude, stop commenting ‘It’s a dog-eat-dog world’ on their sociopolitical thinkpieces.	1.2712	0.04201	177	139	28	10
3477	I didn’t inderstand a thing he said.	1.2712	0.04201	177	139	28	10
3478	I wouldn't mind, but they are kind of bitchy.	1.2712	0.03884	177	135	36	6
3479	Whatever are WE doing here?	1.2711	0.04554	166	133	21	12
3480	They say they are fed up with their dogs life, laying around the house all day, being well fed, pampered and bored. On the internet they can be themselves, wild, savage: just the better humans.	1.2710	0.04419	155	121	26	8
3481	Can you beileve this b*tch!?	1.2710	0.04323	155	120	28	7
3482	I had no idea Pet Smart was doing this.	1.2707	0.03985	181	140	33	8
3483	These translation apps are killing us....	1.2707	0.03828	181	138	37	6
3484	So tell me again how they came up with the word catfishing?	1.2706	0.04153	170	132	30	8
3485	When your on the Internet no one knows your a human	1.2706	0.04236	170	133	28	9
3486	What does EIEIO mean?	1.2706	0.04153	170	132	30	8
3487	All those pictures of cats didn't tip you off?	1.2704	0.04250	159	123	29	7
3488	Seymour needs to take a walk, he's getting on my nerves.	1.2704	0.04155	159	122	31	6
3489	This place is a zoo.	1.2704	0.03782	196	151	37	8
3490	Perks? You get to park close to the door but avoid being next to the hydrant.	1.2704	0.03851	196	152	35	9
3491	Do you smell something?	1.2704	0.03984	196	154	31	11
3492	When did bring your pet to work day become so literal?	1.2703	0.03851	185	142	36	7
3493	Do you think the welcome dog policy has gone a bit too far?	1.2703	0.04001	185	144	32	9
3494	Diversity?	1.2703	0.04558	148	116	24	8
3495	Psst . . . dogs are selling. Go long dogs, sell cats!	1.2703	0.03927	185	143	34	8
3496	I miss swimming with the sharks.	1.2701	0.04247	174	137	27	10
3497	I was just asked, What time is Kibble?	1.2701	0.04088	174	135	31	8
3498	It's a dog eat dog world!	1.2701	0.04006	174	134	33	7
3499	My Lab partner is a real dog!	1.2698	0.03943	189	147	33	9
3500	Do you think my Chihuahua-bark is good enough for this call center?	1.2697	0.04104	178	139	30	9
3501	You're not a dog; so I'll go on a date with you.	1.2697	0.04256	178	141	26	11
3502	I can't take this any more... I work with a bunch of animals!	1.2695	0.04599	141	110	24	7
3503	I can't help it, they all seem like dogs to me.	1.2695	0.04023	167	128	33	6
3504	They warned me there were some real animals working on this project, but I had assumed that meant some obnoxious males.	1.2695	0.04112	167	129	31	7
3505	If I have to deal with fleas for a wicked fast connection, so be it.	1.2695	0.04367	167	132	25	10
3506	Did you read the whole memo?	1.2695	0.04199	167	130	29	8
3507	How do WE get rabies insurance?	1.2694	0.04024	193	152	30	11
3508	It’s dog-meet-dog out there.	1.2692	0.04202	156	120	30	6
3509	Screw A.I. Let's grab that ball and go play fetch!	1.2692	0.04116	182	143	29	10
3510	I don't know how many more times I can handle the free Alpo lunches!	1.2692	0.03966	182	141	33	8
3511	Watch that knee, Buster. This is a different era.	1.2692	0.04116	182	143	29	10
3512	Get over your white male privilege, who else would be better to take service calls.	1.2692	0.03888	182	140	35	7
3513	This is freaking mutts	1.2692	0.04299	156	121	28	7
3514	Enough with the Service Animals, Skylar!	1.2692	0.04394	156	122	26	8
3515	Enough of this, "Bring Your Pets to Work" Day!	1.2690	0.03833	197	153	35	9
3516	What does ARF stand for??	1.2690	0.03874	171	130	36	5
3517	I said, “This office has gone to the dogs!”	1.2690	0.04132	171	133	30	8
3518	He's been watching porn since noon!	1.2690	0.04374	171	136	24	11
3519	I'm just saying I think PETA takes it a little too far.	1.2690	0.04048	171	132	32	7
3520	I heard they kept barking even after the union caved.	1.2690	0.04132	171	133	30	8
3521	I'm working like a dog, and where does it get me? I'm blaming it all on Arwfirmative Action.	1.2688	0.04054	186	146	30	10
3522	I have a caller who lost her hush puppies.	1.2688	0.03982	186	145	32	9
3523	Told you that Facebook was going to the dogs!	1.2688	0.04318	160	125	27	8
3524	The headphones don’t help the situation. I can still see the porn he’s watching, which is disgusting even for porn, by the way.	1.2688	0.04409	160	126	25	9
3525	Well, they're seven times as fast as us.	1.2687	0.03847	201	157	34	10
3526	I know we are an equal opportunity employer, but this is ridiculous!	1.2686	0.04067	175	136	31	8
3527	This 'Animal's Rights thing' has gotten out of hand	1.2686	0.03903	175	134	35	6
3528	They were here when I got here this morning!	1.2686	0.03986	175	135	33	7
3529	Don't let the flea collars fool you, they're the best packet sniffers in the game.	1.2685	0.04326	149	115	28	6
3530	I know we've faced some budget cuts lately, but this is ridiculous	1.2684	0.03780	190	146	37	7
3531	Who knew we would be working for a pet phone sex company?	1.2684	0.04265	190	153	23	14
3532	I know they're man's best friend, but does every browser history entry have to be sniffmybutt.com?	1.2683	0.04333	164	129	26	9
3533	I think this dog next to me has gas. Sure, blame the dog!	1.2683	0.03534	205	156	43	6
3534	His headphones aren't even covering his ears.	1.2683	0.03973	164	125	34	5
3535	I'm telling you, Josh, this company is going to the dogs.	1.2683	0.04246	164	128	28	8
3536	It's dog day afternoon at the computer lab.	1.2683	0.04503	164	131	22	11
3537	I didn't know it was bring your pet to work day, much less that it was bring your pet to DO YOUR work day!	1.2683	0.04419	164	130	24	10
3538	On the internet, nobody knows the trolls are dogs.	1.2683	0.03973	164	125	34	5
3539	I know you said this job was "ruff," but this is ridiculous.	1.2683	0.04333	164	129	26	9
3540	'WOW" I thought the robots were suppose to take over	1.2682	0.03846	179	137	36	6
3541	Are you going to the work mixer tonight?” “No, I can’t keep up with these party animals.	1.2682	0.03927	179	138	34	7
3542	I say we start by eating kibble.	1.2682	0.03927	179	138	34	7
3543	Someone's breathing heavily on the conference call.	1.2682	0.03927	179	138	34	7
3544	I’m wearing deodorant. I can’t help it if he’s got a very strong sense of smell.	1.2679	0.04003	168	129	33	6
3545	Ruff day at the office!	1.2675	0.04080	157	120	32	5
3546	I'm all for workplace diversity, but this seems a bit extreme.	1.2675	0.04080	157	120	32	5
3547	Why was called in and told "bad doggie" by management?	1.2675	0.04275	157	122	28	7
3548	It's "bring your pet to work day?" Darn! I didn't get the memo.	1.2674	0.04027	172	133	32	7
3549	Who let the dogs out?	1.2674	0.04027	172	133	32	7
3550	What the hell? Dogs playing online poker!	1.2671	0.04472	161	128	23	10
3551	Can't you see? This place is going to the dogs.	1.2671	0.04203	161	125	29	7
3552	They're expert hedgers.	1.2671	0.04203	161	125	29	7
3553	Should we expect a raise in dog years?	1.2671	0.04015	161	123	33	5
3554	Dogs playing poker is cute. But this makes me feel uncomfortable.	1.2671	0.04015	161	123	33	5
3555	I thought a dog's world was just an expression.	1.2671	0.04203	161	125	29	7
3556	It’s so unfair! They can get almost anyone to follow them on social media just by wagging their tails.	1.2670	0.04047	176	137	31	8
3557	Who would have known that 'Bring your pet to work day' would be our downfall?	1.2670	0.04205	176	139	27	10
3558	I can't believe the "Wet Dog" scented candles completely sold out again! Now, if we could only get rid of these darn fleas!	1.2670	0.04127	176	138	29	9
3559	The ad said: dog sitters wanted.	1.2670	0.04047	176	137	31	8
3560	They're legacy employees from Pets.com.	1.2670	0.04047	176	137	31	8
3561	...they all have fake accounts!	1.2670	0.03536	191	144	43	4
3562	I can’t get Rosie even to go fetch the ball anymore	1.2670	0.03689	191	146	39	6
3563	This cartoon would be funnier without the baseball under the table.	1.2670	0.03903	206	163	31	12
3564	Internet dating is going to the dogs, It's nice to meet you. You are not a robot are you?	1.2667	0.04045	165	127	32	6
3565	Did you see the way Rover wags his tail around Fluffy? Can you say inter-office relationship?	1.2667	0.03712	195	150	38	7
3566	I can’t believe I piled up a huge college loan debt for this job.	1.2667	0.04223	165	129	28	8
3567	I'm pretty sure Fido keeps eating my tuna sandwiches out of the fridge.	1.2667	0.03827	180	138	36	6
3568	I had heard that this job “was for the dogs,”............... But I had no idea !!!	1.2667	0.03986	180	140	32	8
3569	Then he said, “go fetch me a dog biscuit”	1.2667	0.03986	180	140	32	8
3570	Why are we review bombing the film adaptation of Cats before it's even out?	1.2667	0.04063	180	141	30	9
3571	I still can't hear a damn thing!	1.2663	0.03732	199	154	37	8
3572	I guess millennials don’t fetch anymore either?	1.2663	0.04076	184	145	29	10
3573	I never understood bias in journalism until I started here at Cat Fancy.	1.2663	0.04076	184	145	29	10
3574	They don't speak. they are happy eating Kibble. I mean,why are WE here?	1.2663	0.03801	169	128	37	4
3575	Crisper, and we thought AI was the future.	1.2663	0.03892	169	129	35	5
3576	You know most IT types... they're animals!	1.2663	0.04321	169	134	25	10
3577	I’m working like a dog, but still can’t log on.	1.2663	0.03892	169	129	35	5
3578	I knew the whole “bring a pet to work” ploy was done to increase productivity, but this is ridiculous.	1.2663	0.04155	169	132	29	8
3579	now we have to go on walks at lunch?	1.2663	0.04069	169	131	31	7
3580	This cartoon makes no sense.	1.2663	0.04321	169	134	25	10
3581	Thats not how I thought those would fit on his ears	1.2662	0.04326	154	120	27	7
3582	The 'bring your dog to work' program has really morphed into something special.	1.2659	0.04171	173	136	28	9
3583	Be careful not to scare the manager - he's a real chicken.	1.2659	0.03747	173	131	38	4
3584	Whose idea was to train them?	1.2659	0.04171	173	136	28	9
3585	I know their typing is awful and their vocabulary even worse, but the Director of the Pound insisted that we hire internally.	1.2659	0.03922	173	133	34	6
3586	It's okay, these computers have all been neutered.	1.2659	0.04171	173	136	28	9
3587	What is that smell?	1.2656	0.03746	192	148	37	7
3588	Don’t ya think they should have told us that we needed flea collars?	1.2656	0.03746	192	148	37	7
3589	Be honest. Is this what you imagined when you applied for a dog sitting job?	1.2655	0.04106	177	139	29	9
3590	I'm not so sure about the tech support dogs.	1.2655	0.03864	177	136	35	6
3591	I hear the boss is a real B-word.	1.2655	0.04027	177	138	31	8
3592	Just grab them - he’s not going to bite you.	1.2655	0.03947	177	137	33	7
3593	We need to find a more inclusive happy hour spot.	1.2655	0.03780	177	135	37	5
3594	I think these dogs are Russian.	1.2654	0.04447	162	129	23	10
3595	So this is what AI really looks like.	1.2654	0.04088	162	125	31	6
3596	Well, the rest of the team thinks the market is begging for an app that tells you where the nearby bones are buried.	1.2653	0.03835	196	153	34	9
3597	I hate to be catty, but...	1.2653	0.03696	196	151	38	7
3598	They work us like dogs here!	1.2652	0.03889	181	140	34	7
3599	Dogs? Dogs were the ones trolling us?	1.2652	0.03809	181	139	36	6
3600	We’re getting some complaints about our complaint department.	1.2651	0.04287	166	131	26	9
3601	USC=Uncommonly Skilled Canines. Not only did my 'rents bribe me into the wrong USC, I'm flunking!	1.2651	0.03932	166	127	34	5
3602	Sure, Bowser's focused on campaign results now. But just wait until I go back into heat . . . .	1.2651	0.04287	166	131	26	9
3603	Well, you said every dog has its data!	1.2651	0.03642	166	124	40	2
3604	I'm going to file a discrimination complaint. They have a training camp, bistro, hotel, salon and a park! What are we getting out of this gig?	1.2651	0.04023	166	128	32	6
3605	Should we tell them it's been 7 years since our last yearly projections?	1.2650	0.03849	200	157	33	10
3606	They only work on fetch API.	1.2649	0.03984	185	145	31	9
3607	Everything bipedal is blocked.	1.2649	0.03909	185	144	33	8
3608	Get this - I have to walk them!	1.2647	0.04134	170	133	29	8
3609	Some guy calling himself "Orwell" keeps sending me emails about "4 legs good, 2 legs bad."	1.2647	0.04217	170	134	27	9
3610	Millennials!	1.2647	0.04134	170	133	29	8
3611	I heard they are part of some new government initiative to keep jobs from going abroad.	1.2646	0.03926	189	148	32	9
3612	All the bones they raise go to support rabies awareness!	1.2646	0.03780	189	146	36	7
3613	It's coded only for dogarithm.	1.2646	0.03780	189	146	36	7
3614	I thought, like, AI, but, like, they're real dogs.	1.2645	0.04102	155	119	31	5
3615	I know the public library learning commons is supposed to be open to anyone, but don't you think this is a little over the top?	1.2645	0.04102	155	119	31	5
3616	The way out is through the doggie door.	1.2644	0.03987	174	135	32	7
3617	All I can get is Pet-Net.	1.2644	0.04069	174	136	30	8
3618	It's not just millenials that want to make an impact.	1.2644	0.03987	174	135	32	7
3619	That's the second full moon this month!	1.2644	0.04150	174	137	28	9
3620	The online hounding has clearly reached a tipping point!	1.2640	0.03927	178	138	33	7
3621	Seriously! Public libraries are becoming cat video emporiums!	1.2640	0.04086	178	140	29	9
3622	Robots couldn't compete on the squirrel videos	1.2640	0.03845	178	137	35	6
3623	All they do is bark and yap all day!!	1.2640	0.04086	178	140	29	9
3624	It’s “dog eat dog” in this business.	1.2640	0.03679	197	152	38	7
3625	Who let the dogs online?	1.2638	0.04158	163	127	29	7
3626	Is this one of those dog whistle surveys?	1.2638	0.03875	163	124	35	4
3627	If the Russians only new they can't vote.	1.2638	0.04423	163	130	23	10
3628	I know - Milkbones in the break room. Like, really?	1.2638	0.04248	163	128	27	8
3629	I hate working for this dog-eat-dog company!	1.2637	0.03896	201	159	31	11
3630	They won't last long. They're always going out in the yard and take naps all day!	1.2635	0.04091	167	130	30	7
3631	That new supervisor was barking orders at us all. Sit? Speak? I don't know what to make of it.	1.2634	0.03652	205	159	38	8
3632	Talk about a dog day afternoon	1.2632	0.04048	190	151	28	11
3633	I expected some party animals at college, but I didn't think they'd all be programmers!	1.2632	0.04112	171	134	29	8
3634	I said, "P-A-U-S-E" on the computers!	1.2632	0.04028	171	133	31	7
3635	Sorry it's hard to hear you, this place is a zoo.	1.2632	0.04251	152	118	28	6
3636	Maybe you CAN be a dog on the Internet.	1.2632	0.03836	190	148	34	8
3637	I left my laptop on the table last week, and the 3 of them were sniffing around - next thing I know, they used my credit card to ordered a bunch of stuff and got hired as IT phone support at Apple.	1.2632	0.04195	171	135	27	9
3638	I think the one next to me just peed on mu leg!	1.2632	0.04451	152	120	24	8
3639	These people are animals!	1.2629	0.04129	175	138	28	9
3640	What kind of “clicker training” is this?	1.2628	0.04277	156	122	27	7
3641	I told you our job was going to the dogs!	1.2628	0.04372	156	123	25	8
3642	When will they start treating us like dogs?	1.2628	0.04079	156	120	31	5
3643	It was your idea to make Woof the password	1.2626	0.04065	179	141	29	9
3644	Face it. This company is going to the dogs.	1.2626	0.03987	179	140	31	8
3645	Your barking up the wrong tree	1.2626	0.03827	179	138	35	6
3646	Duh! The HR Department was extinguished in the merger.	1.2626	0.03827	179	138	35	6
3647	Don't these guys ever take a bath?	1.2625	0.04110	160	124	30	6
3648	They remastered "Pet Sounds."	1.2625	0.04297	160	126	26	8
3649	What does "redundant " mean?	1.2625	0.04388	160	127	24	9
3650	Looks like a three dog day...	1.2623	0.03929	183	143	32	8
3651	I mean, I thought we’d finally be able to see what dogs are thinking, but he’s just mashing his paws on the keyboard with his tongue out.	1.2623	0.04079	183	145	28	10
3652	I didn’t realize anal glands were such a problem here.	1.2623	0.03929	183	143	32	8
3653	He keeps searching for 'human-style.'	1.2623	0.03929	183	143	32	8
3654	Then, in front of the whole lunchroom, Fluffy accuses Fifi of flirting with Thor!	1.2623	0.04005	183	144	30	9
3655	My computer is soo slow now because of all of these pup-up ads!	1.2621	0.03701	206	161	36	9
3656	I guess it beats offshoring	1.2620	0.03643	187	143	39	5
3657	I'm all for diversity, but to be fair, their reservation times should only be a seventh as long as ours.	1.2620	0.03873	187	146	33	8
3658	Do you have a copy of last month's numbers? If I don't have them Bill's gonna chew me out in the middle of the meeting.	1.2620	0.03721	187	144	37	6
3659	This problem has been dogging us all day.	1.2620	0.04089	187	149	27	11
3660	It sure is a dog eat dog world.	1.2620	0.04018	187	148	29	10
3661	Who is training them?	1.2620	0.03643	187	143	39	5
3662	No, Spike goes by “they, them, grrr.	1.2620	0.04089	187	149	27	11
3663	The dogs don't seem to mind being worked like dogs.	1.2619	0.04157	168	132	28	8
3664	So what kind of a dog am I supposed to be?	1.2619	0.03982	168	130	32	6
3665	Whats a "Pup-Up"?	1.2618	0.03960	191	151	30	10
3666	They're searching for jobs. It's a March Madness thing. Apparently, when a team loses they fire the Mascot.	1.2617	0.04507	149	118	23	8
3667	Well, our hiring manager did say that this was a dog eat dog industry...	1.2617	0.04301	149	116	27	6
3668	Who knew today is Animal Rights Day?	1.2616	0.04007	172	134	31	7
3669	You are Not an animal?	1.2616	0.03921	172	133	33	6
3670	All I said was, Beam us up Scotty and here we are!	1.2616	0.04007	172	134	31	7
3671	They're so damn competitive!	1.2616	0.04007	172	134	31	7
3672	It's okay. Nobody knows.	1.2614	0.04263	176	141	24	11
3673	What happened to your theory that cats and AI were taking over the Internet?	1.2614	0.04108	176	139	28	9
3674	I understand they are all really smart, much smarter than monkeys. I'm pretty sure one of them will type out "Hamlet," before the end of the day.	1.2614	0.03947	176	137	32	7
3675	First it was robots, now it’s dogs coming for our jobs!	1.2613	0.03784	199	156	34	9
3676	Online poker night isn't as much fun as I thought it'd be.	1.2611	0.04253	157	123	27	7
3677	We couldn't just stop at journalists with the 'learn to code' thing, could we?	1.2611	0.03889	180	140	33	7
3678	They’re all a bunch of animals	1.2611	0.03555	180	136	41	3
3679	Did they take the blue pill or the red pill?	1.2609	0.04059	184	146	28	10
3680	Check our the newbies, they look a little ruff around the edges	1.2609	0.04088	161	125	30	6
3681	These dogs don't hunt and peck.	1.2609	0.03893	161	123	34	4
3682	I know it's my second career, but I can learn new tricks! It's just fetch this and fetch that.	1.2609	0.04088	161	125	30	6
3683	I like that the annual pay is seven times more, but the ear scratches are degrading in 2019.	1.2609	0.03755	184	142	36	6
3684	At least thy are not robots.	1.2609	0.04059	184	146	28	10
3685	I still don't regret my Communications degree.	1.2609	0.04273	161	127	26	8
3686	I told you this job is going to the dogs!	1.2609	0.03910	184	144	32	8
3687	On the internet anymore, you might as well be an animal.	1.2609	0.03833	184	143	34	7
3688	In Japan, dogs actually die from overwork. The tennis balls are part of their health plan.	1.2609	0.03755	184	142	36	6
3689	He refuses to wear his over-the-ear headset OVER HIS EARS!	1.2606	0.03780	188	146	35	7
3690	Hey, wanna go for a romp in the park?	1.2606	0.03927	188	148	31	9
3691	Believe me, most of the men working here are real dogs.	1.2606	0.03927	188	148	31	9
3692	Can't we just text like an ordinary family?	1.2604	0.03871	169	130	34	5
3693	Yeah, I'm pretty sure this one just went to the bathroom.	1.2604	0.04135	169	133	28	8
3694	For cryin' out loud Mark, have you ever heard of a dress code?	1.2604	0.04135	169	133	28	8
3695	Software development has really gone to the dogs.	1.2603	0.04353	146	114	26	6
3696	Speciesist?! I just can't stand the fleas!	1.2602	0.03886	196	155	31	10
3697	This place is going to the dogs. The big guy on my right just asked me to fetch him a cup of coffee.	1.2601	0.03987	173	135	31	7
3698	They're learning to be therapists	1.2601	0.03902	173	134	33	6
3699	What Wes Anderson wants, Wes Anderson gets.	1.2601	0.04152	173	137	27	9
3700	I didn't spend four years at Sarah Lawrence for this!!!	1.2601	0.03987	173	135	31	7
3701	They always nose out better deals.	1.2601	0.03902	173	134	33	6
3702	I heard that he was brought in to breed success, but dude!	1.2601	0.04232	173	138	25	10
3703	In the old days they used to use monkeys to write Shakespeare!	1.2600	0.03962	200	160	28	12
3704	I just don't think this We Work / Doggy Daycare merger is working.	1.2599	0.04008	177	139	30	8
3705	Hey, Biff, want to take our kibble break now?	1.2599	0.03845	177	137	34	6
3706	These budget cuts are lowering the bar a bit, right?	1.2599	0.03674	177	135	38	4
3707	I don't want to keep throwing his damn tennis ball. Does that make me specieist?	1.2598	0.03908	204	163	29	12
3708	Spot went on break an hour ago. Where is he?	1.2597	0.04101	181	144	27	10
3709	Where have we gone wrong?	1.2597	0.03624	181	138	39	4
3710	This place is definitely going to the dogs	1.2597	0.03949	181	142	31	8
3711	Like I know we share 70% of the same DNA, but did we have to share the same computer lab too?	1.2597	0.03790	181	140	35	6
3712	What’s up with the sweatshirt, Phil.	1.2597	0.03870	181	141	33	7
3713	The new Diversity initiative has really gone awry.	1.2595	0.04229	158	124	27	7
3714	I told you this WeWork thing was a bad idea.	1.2595	0.04112	185	148	26	11
3715	It's balls and bones, balls and bones..."	1.2595	0.03891	185	145	32	8
3716	I think my computer has rabies.	1.2595	0.03966	185	146	30	9
3717	Evidently anyone BUT a monkey can do it...	1.2595	0.03815	185	144	34	7
3718	The new CEO is big on Diversity.	1.2595	0.03815	185	144	34	7
3719	I'm not sure which one of these guys is cheating at online poker.	1.2593	0.04159	162	127	28	7
3720	This work environment is a bitch! Just because I'm low dog on the totem pole, it's, "Go fetch this, go fetch that!	1.2593	0.04339	162	129	24	9
3721	Are they Advanced Placement ore we in the slow class?	1.2593	0.03980	189	150	29	10
3722	Do you think they will join the union?	1.2593	0.03669	162	122	38	2
3723	Who knew that Yelp! had a dating app.?	1.2593	0.04119	189	152	25	12
3724	I was expecting a diverse workplace, not a species-diverse one.	1.2593	0.04051	189	151	27	11
3725	Yes, I KNOW they're winning again!	1.2593	0.04159	162	127	28	7
3726	That obedience school is fabulous!	1.2593	0.03762	189	147	35	7
3727	Don’t look now but this place is going to the dogs.	1.2591	0.03784	193	151	34	8
3728	I get the sense that you are ok with this project going to the dogs.	1.2591	0.03712	193	150	36	7
3729	Why to I get all the "Meow" calls?	1.2591	0.03924	193	153	30	10
3730	She warned me it was a dog-eat-dog world in this office, but I didn't think she meant it literally.	1.2590	0.03909	166	128	33	5
3731	I'm not sure I'm qualified for this emergency helpline gig......there's a mass leash entanglement on West 54th and Main	1.2590	0.04092	166	130	29	7
3732	All things considered I'd say working for Yelp has its benefits. I like the walk breaks and the fire hydrants are convenient	1.2590	0.04180	166	131	27	8
3733	On the internet, people know you’re a dog	1.2590	0.04267	166	132	25	9
3734	Ever since we switched over to marketing for online poker, I knew this was bound to happen.	1.2589	0.03801	197	155	33	9
3735	I don't get it - a news site that only writes about dog-whistle politics?	1.2588	0.04113	170	134	28	8
3736	The dog farted!	1.2588	0.04028	170	133	30	7
3737	Who knew the competition for jobs would be this tough?	1.2588	0.03851	170	131	34	5
3738	And wouldn’t you rather have stock options than kibble in the IPO.	1.2588	0.04028	170	133	30	7
3739	I detest the smell of Alpo in the morning.	1.2588	0.03941	170	132	32	6
3740	Oh gosh, who knew it was you?	1.2587	0.03546	201	155	40	6
3741	Stop telling me "people are people." This is weird."	1.2586	0.03882	174	135	33	6
3742	And I pay them with behond the ear scratches.	1.2586	0.04049	174	137	29	8
3743	I don't have a problem with him, just the music he's blasting!	1.2586	0.03882	174	135	33	6
3744	There's nothing wrong with it. They're just watching cat videos.	1.2586	0.04131	174	138	27	9
3745	Have you noticed the high turnover rate here? Yes - but it is a dog eat dog environment.	1.2586	0.04131	174	138	27	9
3746	This is way too domesticated.	1.2586	0.03795	174	134	35	5
3747	She's always bitching about something.	1.2586	0.03967	174	136	31	7
3748	I had NO idea that's what they meant by Artificial Intelligence.	1.2585	0.04218	147	114	28	5
3749	I thought yesterday was bring your pet to work day..	1.2585	0.03991	147	112	32	3
3750	They're sensitive to how you pat them.	1.2584	0.03908	178	139	32	7
3751	Where's Orwell when we really need him?	1.2584	0.03988	178	140	30	8
3752	Got any flea powder ?	1.2582	0.04006	182	144	29	9
3753	I forgot my passwoof.	1.2582	0.03851	182	142	33	7
3754	They don't even bark at my tweets and they won't chase the ball! How can we get them off their butts?	1.2582	0.03690	182	140	37	5
3755	Wasn't it supposed to be apes?	1.2582	0.03607	182	139	39	4
3756	I don't care what Buddy says. Collars are itchy.	1.2582	0.04081	182	145	27	10
3757	Did you happen to notice that Corky always goes to the hydrant after break is over?	1.2582	0.03851	182	142	33	7
3758	"I am looking for a three letter word that follows bow- "	1.2581	0.03973	155	119	32	4
3759	I don't want to be nosey about what they are doing, but they don't call me "Snoop Dogg" for nothing!	1.2581	0.04278	155	122	26	7
3760	f-9?... more like K-9	1.2581	0.03947	186	147	30	9
3761	This bring your pet to work day really is getting on my nerves	1.2581	0.04077	155	120	30	5
3762	I just can’t stand this Kibble all over the floor....	1.2577	0.04227	163	129	26	8
3763	I really like the walking , teaching them keyboard skills is challenging but FUN , the tough stuff is the AKC security clearances	1.2577	0.04136	163	128	28	7
3764	The programming team has really gone to the dogs	1.2577	0.03949	163	126	32	5
3765	I'm not complaining, but I work with a bunch animals. They never talk, just make animal noises when things don't go their way.	1.2577	0.04044	163	127	30	6
3766	Don't worry. On the internet, nobody knows you're a college dropout with bad breath from Toledo.	1.2575	0.04070	167	131	29	7
3767	They said they were going to diversify the office...	1.2575	0.03795	167	128	35	4
3768	Call H.R.; I'm working with animals!	1.2575	0.04328	167	134	23	10
3769	This office has really gone to the dogs.	1.2575	0.03981	167	130	31	6
3770	Cover for me while I go on my walkies break?"	1.2575	0.03981	167	130	31	6
3771	Don't they ever nap?	1.2574	0.03668	202	158	36	8
3772	And we have a $100K in college debt for a job they hire anyone to do? I didn't realize this is what they meant when they said we would be working with artificial intelligence.	1.2573	0.04007	171	134	30	7
3773	Is it just me, or is it smelling a little ruff in the office today?	1.2573	0.03832	171	132	34	5
3774	Just because I'm the only human in the place doesn't mean you can hit on me.	1.2573	0.04257	171	137	24	10
3775	Why the hangdog face?	1.2573	0.04175	171	136	26	9
3776	I don't get it,there is no cats working here	1.2573	0.04175	171	136	26	9
3777	They know their coding, but they really chew through the mice.	1.2573	0.03920	171	133	32	6
3778	I just don't think this labor contract with the Humane Society is working out too well and these doggie snacks on the desk are kind of revolting.	1.2573	0.04092	171	135	28	8
3779	They're translating the dog whistles to blame them on the cats.	1.2571	0.03863	175	136	33	6
3780	Don't talk, text.	1.2571	0.03947	175	137	31	7
3781	Just don't tell the folks or they'll never pay for college.	1.2571	0.03777	175	135	35	5
3782	Whad'ya mean you can't make heads or tails out of what they're doing. Look where their tails are.	1.2571	0.04029	175	138	29	8
3783	I thought I was going to be top dog today?	1.2571	0.04110	175	139	27	9
3784	The Slack channel is just people barking at each other.	1.2571	0.04110	175	139	27	9
3785	Im really having trouble understanding their accent,	1.2570	0.03889	179	140	32	7
3786	Ever since outsourcing, our firm has gone to the dogs.	1.2570	0.04047	179	142	28	9
3787	how many best friends do you have ?	1.2570	0.03889	179	140	32	7
3788	The woofi password’s not working.	1.2570	0.04273	179	145	22	12
3789	I'm sure the workers of GOOD BOYS & SONS mean well. It's just hard to realize that I am a bitch here.	1.2569	0.04267	144	112	27	5
3790	How can you not get, "E-I-E-I-O"?	1.2568	0.03910	183	144	31	8
3791	It's the next step up from playing cards.	1.2568	0.04193	148	115	28	5
3792	This is so cool, they are streaming "Animal House"!	1.2568	0.04406	148	117	24	7
3793	Now on the Internet everyone knows you are a dog	1.2567	0.03855	187	147	32	8
3794	I think we responded to the wrong job posting. This is not a dog walking gig!	1.2567	0.03702	187	145	36	6
3795	He‘s supposed to be the top dog!	1.2567	0.03855	187	147	32	8
3796	THIS IS BULLSHIT	1.2567	0.04072	187	150	26	11
3797	Have you met the boss?	1.2564	0.03888	195	155	30	10
3798	I told you time and time again this place is going to the dogs!	1.2564	0.04444	156	125	22	9
3799	I know about you and Ms. Princess.	1.2563	0.04275	160	127	25	8
3800	Excuse me... At what point do we pet them?	1.2563	0.04182	160	126	27	7
3801	Please help me, I'm having trouble with my Bowser	1.2563	0.03890	160	123	33	4
3802	If we don't learn to speak dog, we are doomed, here.	1.2561	0.04292	164	131	24	9
3803	I know, right? Thank God for affirmative action.	1.2560	0.03776	168	129	35	4
3804	I think some of our customers have figured out that they are dogs	1.2560	0.03869	168	130	33	5
3805	Seriously! This is taking bring your pet to wook day, too far.	1.2558	0.04071	172	136	28	8
3806	I knew bringing your dog to work was a bad idea.	1.2558	0.04235	172	138	24	10
3807	Apparently they want the Mewer report released.	1.2558	0.04071	172	136	28	8
3808	First it was AI. Then full-on robots. But this is just bullshit!	1.2558	0.04314	172	139	22	11
3809	Next thing you know, trained monkeys will get all the good leads.	1.2558	0.03812	172	133	34	5
3810	When they cut the staff, I wondered why they asked them to leave their pets.	1.2558	0.04235	172	138	24	10
3811	Who're you calling a dog?!	1.2558	0.04071	172	136	28	8
3812	I wouldn’t ask too many questions. I don’t think dogs can talk.	1.2558	0.03535	172	130	40	2
3813	I'm ready for a kibble break.	1.2558	0.03722	172	132	36	4
3814	I gotta quit cuz I obviously can't work like a dog	1.2557	0.03927	176	138	31	7
3815	Can you please tell me who let the dogs out?	1.2557	0.04168	176	141	25	10
3816	I guess once cat cafes took off, animal-human shared workspaces were inevitable.	1.2557	0.03758	176	136	35	5
3817	They're all watching canine porn.	1.2557	0.03927	176	138	31	7
3818	The only thing getting me through this is knowing that they are getting seventy vacation days.	1.2557	0.04009	176	139	29	8
3819	Competion to be a programmer sure is getting ruff .	1.2554	0.03967	184	146	29	9
3820	Affirmative action, go figure!	1.2553	0.03910	188	149	30	9
3821	I see this place is going to the dogs.	1.2553	0.03982	188	150	28	10
3822	Cigarettes? Dog food is the currency here.	1.2553	0.03836	188	148	32	8
3823	Could this job get any ruffer?	1.2552	0.04461	145	115	23	7
3824	It isn't me who keeps snorting!	1.2551	0.03516	196	151	40	5
3825	Now that we know who is a dog on the Internet, they don't have to hide anymore	1.2549	0.04303	153	121	25	7
3826	Somebody just peed on On My Ankle.	1.2549	0.03766	204	162	32	10
3827	No one will reply to my Slack messages — so much for being a dog-friendly office.	1.2549	0.03992	153	118	31	4
3828	The cats kept eating the mice.	1.2548	0.04229	157	124	26	7
3829	Is this really the social media crew of our President?	1.2548	0.04325	157	125	24	8
3830	Did you get your Parvo examination?	1.2548	0.04229	157	124	26	7
3831	We're working like dogs, for what? No healthcare, no benefits. Explain that to me Tom!	1.2545	0.04001	165	129	30	6
3832	What does woof mean?	1.2545	0.04354	165	133	22	10
3833	You think the break room smells like pet store? Try the supply closet.	1.2545	0.04181	165	131	26	8
3834	Bring your pet to work has seriously run amuck.	1.2545	0.03907	165	128	32	5
3835	I'm just saying, next walkies break it's your turn to use the scooper pooper.	1.2544	0.04199	169	135	25	9
3836	What’s WoofFi? I don’t get it.	1.2544	0.04114	169	134	27	8
3837	They're trying to compete with those infinite monkeys in trying to write Hamlet.	1.2544	0.04114	169	134	27	8
3838	There are no bathrooms in this place	1.2543	0.04213	173	139	24	10
3839	... And also make sure that Spot's order doesn't have meat. He's vegan again.	1.2543	0.03966	173	136	30	7
3840	They work us like cats around here.	1.2543	0.04050	173	137	28	8
3841	That New Yorker magnet on your mom's fridge suddenly makes sense.	1.2543	0.04050	173	137	28	8
3842	So are we supposed to use the restrooms on the fifth floor?	1.2543	0.03793	173	134	34	5
3843	If the Top Dog says “do it”. Heel babe.	1.2542	0.03989	177	140	29	8
3844	I thought it was all code monkeys here	1.2542	0.03989	177	140	29	8
3845	Quick! What's the Dingo word for 'Good dog'?	1.2542	0.03907	177	139	31	7
3846	We've got to up our game, Harold; they're creaming us.	1.2542	0.04146	177	142	25	10
3847	On Instagram, it helps if you are a dog.	1.2541	0.03930	181	143	30	8
3848	Another Pets.com lay-off?	1.2541	0.03770	181	141	34	6
3849	Enough with “Who let the dogs out?”!	1.2541	0.03930	181	143	30	8
3850	'They're doing it doggy-style."	1.2541	0.04007	181	144	28	9
3851	I know what tweeting is, but what's up with this woofing?	1.2541	0.03796	185	145	33	7
3852	Whatever happened to the robots?	1.2541	0.03557	185	142	39	4
3853	I don’t know what the problem is, these guys are just not learning the new software.	1.2541	0.03948	185	147	29	9
3854	I think we need to take them for a walk...now.	1.2540	0.03744	189	148	34	7
3855	The bitch said all paws on deck.	1.2540	0.03591	189	146	38	5
3856	I can't hear anything!	1.2540	0.04034	189	152	26	11
3857	We're the Outliers	1.2539	0.03620	193	150	37	6
3858	When they said this was "dog work", I didn't take them literally.	1.2539	0.03766	193	152	33	8
3859	Do you think he meant, "woof," or was it, like, a "woof."	1.2539	0.03545	193	149	39	5
3860	At least they have filled the vacant positions.	1.2536	0.03701	209	166	33	10
3861	I don't think they've noticed us yet.	1.2532	0.04178	154	121	27	6
3862	Place is definitely going to the dogs.	1.2532	0.04472	154	124	21	9
3863	Don't these idiots know that on the internet, everybody knows you're a dog?!	1.2532	0.04178	154	121	27	6
3864	I guess we missed the memo about "Bring your dog to work day".	1.2532	0.04009	158	123	30	5
3865	Looks like the rest of the team is having a ruff day.	1.2531	0.04136	162	128	27	7
3866	"Where are our snacks?"	1.2531	0.04043	162	127	29	6
3867	for some reason, they’re all barking at the customers.	1.2530	0.04331	166	134	22	10
3868	This place REALLY Is going to the dogs.	1.2530	0.03887	166	129	32	5
3869	I feel like I'm barking up the wrong tree all the time!	1.2529	0.04259	170	137	23	10
3870	This daycare just sits them in front of a computer and has them play online fetch	1.2529	0.03919	170	133	31	6
3871	They get all the complaints.	1.2529	0.03737	170	131	35	4
3872	He's in the Mascot Protection Program.	1.2529	0.03737	170	131	35	4
3873	What can I say - It’s a dog-eat-dog world.	1.2529	0.03919	170	133	31	6
3874	I know dog-friendly offices are the new thing but this is getting out of hand.	1.2529	0.03861	174	136	32	6
3875	I'm thinking a pay raise this year is pretty much off the table.	1.2528	0.03635	178	137	37	4
3876	It’s hard to work here. Everyone is so WOOF.	1.2528	0.03805	178	139	33	6
3877	I told you it wasn’t that kind of dog cafe!	1.2528	0.04048	178	142	27	9
3878	As long as customers don't expect them SPEAK! they can't tell they're dogs.	1.2527	0.03910	182	144	30	8
3879	I’m sick of putting up with Mary’s bull day after day!	1.2527	0.03752	182	142	34	6
3880	Hey, you wanted empathy in our animal telethon, well you got it.	1.2527	0.03778	186	146	33	7
3881	I know internships suck but something about this feels hairy.	1.2527	0.03701	186	145	35	6
3882	If we don’t meet this month’s quota, it’s gonna be our turn soon.	1.2527	0.03701	186	145	35	6
3883	This WeWork thing . . . has gone to the Dogs	1.2527	0.03540	186	143	39	4
3884	Why do they only communicate in Russian?	1.2526	0.03889	194	155	29	10
3885	Fortnite has really gone to the dogs.	1.2517	0.04598	143	115	20	8
3886	I'm paying how much for 10 Kibbles and Bits per second speed?!	1.2517	0.04329	151	120	24	7
3887	Seriously dude, all the best leads are going to the dogs.	1.2517	0.04329	151	120	24	7
3888	I guess this is better than ‘take your kid to work’ day	1.2516	0.03987	159	124	30	5
3889	Stop kicking my shins, Trevor!	1.2515	0.04021	163	128	29	6
3890	The Internet has gone to the dogs. Who knew?	1.2515	0.04294	163	131	23	9
3891	He said I picked a lame park for our date.	1.2515	0.04205	163	130	25	8
3892	I misunderstood the meaning of Bring Your Dog To Work.	1.2515	0.03772	167	129	34	4
3893	We are trying to reduce toxic masculinity.	1.2515	0.04137	167	133	26	8
3894	Carl's watching porn!, what do i do?	1.2515	0.03958	167	131	30	6
3895	Just no chance of promotion here!	1.2515	0.04048	167	132	28	7
3896	What species did you say you were?	1.2515	0.03809	171	133	33	5
3897	Dude! seriously, management should probably rethink this "bring your dog to work thing."	1.2515	0.03718	171	132	35	4
3898	Why don't we get to post pictures of our poo?	1.2515	0.04155	171	137	25	9
3899	These programmers’ code just keeps going around in circles.	1.2515	0.04071	171	136	27	8
3900	I think we should , like , drop bytes from our vocabulary !	1.2515	0.04071	171	136	27	8
3901	Remember, we are the minority here.	1.2515	0.03718	171	132	35	4
3902	These Gen K9 interns are impossible!	1.2515	0.03809	171	133	33	5
3903	I thought TechBarn was just a quirky name.	1.2514	0.03926	175	138	30	7
3904	It's an H1b workaround	1.2514	0.03842	175	137	32	6
3905	I mean I know we say this place is a zoo but come on...!	1.2514	0.03842	175	137	32	6
3906	These new hires are definitely all ears!	1.2514	0.03703	179	139	35	5
3907	I've been itching all day.	1.2514	0.03949	179	142	29	8
3908	I told you we shouldn’t have let them use the bathrooms!	1.2514	0.04028	179	143	27	9
3909	Would you mind not whimpering?! I’m counting on getting a treat soon, and I think you might blow it for all of us.	1.2514	0.03869	179	141	31	7
3910	Which one is Fido?	1.2514	0.04105	179	144	25	10
3911	I think our support animals are getting more done at WeWorks than we are.	1.2514	0.03703	179	139	35	5
3912	This is all your fault. You're the one always yelling "where my dawgs at?" when you come into work.	1.2514	0.03869	179	141	31	7
3913	Do we have to play fetch at break?	1.2514	0.04028	179	143	27	9
3914	You’re his best friend, throw the ball. I will take over the coding.	1.2514	0.03869	179	141	31	7
3915	I asked him what the wifi password was but I couldn't understand a word he said	1.2513	0.03524	187	144	39	4
3916	I’d say this place is going to the dogs, but apparently even that isn’t PC anymore.	1.2513	0.03836	187	148	31	8
3917	After one week I'm starting to think that I'm way over qualified for this job--A dog could easily do this.	1.2513	0.03761	187	147	33	7
3918	I thought dogs played poker not Fortnite...	1.2513	0.03855	191	152	30	9
3919	I said I wanted monitors good at interpreting dog whistles. This is what they sent me.	1.2513	0.03939	195	157	27	11
3920	Now I can't join LeashedIn without a screen shot of my dog tags!	1.2512	0.03498	203	158	39	6
3921	This is not what I thought when you said you got a Peabody.	1.2500	0.04050	172	137	27	8
3922	This is the boss's idea of Artificial Intelligence.	1.2500	0.04160	180	146	23	11
3923	At least we survived the merger..." Miriam Salzer, Pacifica, C	1.2500	0.04069	176	141	26	9
3924	I think this company is barking up the wrong tree	1.2500	0.04182	164	131	25	8
3925	I know they always say, 'dog eat dog', but really.......?	1.2500	0.04326	156	125	23	8
3926	Geez, this library has really gone to the dogs!	1.2500	0.03999	164	129	29	6
3927	I just accidently hit the "dog whistle " sound on Google.	1.2500	0.04159	160	127	26	7
3928	When I told HR about the drooling and they told me it wasn't their problem	1.2500	0.03879	172	135	31	6
3929	I know we’re in their house now but this barking is just too fast. I can’t understand it!	1.2500	0.04023	184	148	26	10
3930	they are all working like dogs,how come you aren't?	1.2500	0.04027	168	133	28	7
3931	Don't they have anything better to do with their lives?	1.2500	0.03906	176	139	30	7
3932	I told you; they'd rather hire dogs than anybody of color!	1.2500	0.03785	196	156	31	9
3933	It's a dog eat dog world in this office.	1.2500	0.03588	188	146	37	5
3934	Doggone if I know why.	1.2500	0.04023	184	148	26	10
3935	I thought we would be soliciting for sports mascots, not with them.	1.2500	0.04133	172	138	25	9
3936	Everybody but him knows that he's a dog on the internet.	1.2500	0.03768	180	141	33	6
3937	What do you mean they were the best applicants from the hire-a-friend-program?	1.2500	0.03743	188	148	33	7
3938	I told you A-fur-mative action would be controversial...	1.2500	0.03850	180	142	31	7
3939	Don't ask me: I only speak Pekingese!	1.2500	0.03790	172	134	33	5
3940	How can you compete with the animals in this department?	1.2500	0.03822	176	138	32	6
3941	The only part I don’t like is they get noisy when they dial up squirrel sites on Instagram.	1.2500	0.03965	160	125	30	5
3942	Pavlov’s salivating in his grave!	1.2500	0.03692	192	151	34	7
3943	No, not Google...Doggerel.	1.2487	0.03676	193	152	34	7
3944	Sure, it's a dog-eat-dog world -- but we're people, right?	1.2487	0.03800	189	150	31	8
3945	On the Internet, they don't even care any longer if we know they're a dog.	1.2487	0.03945	189	152	27	10
3946	I feel like we are the only writers with any bite.	1.2487	0.03725	189	149	33	7
3947	I lied on my resume' ; I don't speak Russian wolfhound. Gretchen Taylor, San Mateo, CA	1.2487	0.03873	189	151	29	9
3948	I can see one or two...but THREE dogs in a computer class?!?	1.2486	0.03618	185	144	36	5
3949	I refuse to be anyone's lap dog.	1.2486	0.04148	185	151	22	12
3950	I have no idea how they type without opposable thumbs, either?	1.2486	0.03750	181	142	33	6
3951	Did you ever notice anything weird about this office?	1.2486	0.03988	181	145	27	9
3952	Some of us seem to be taking 'bring your pet to work day' a bit too literally.	1.2486	0.03988	181	145	27	9
3953	They should have never closed the border. This place is going to the dogs.	1.2486	0.03667	181	141	35	5
3954	I say we look for another job. This place is going to the dogs,	1.2486	0.03541	177	136	38	3
3955	If you wait until Rover’s housebroken, he’ll be way behind the other dogs.	1.2486	0.03631	177	137	36	4
3956	Nowadays, if you're on the internet, everyone thinks you're a dog.	1.2486	0.04049	177	142	26	9
3957	I specifically said MICRO dose	1.2486	0.03718	177	138	34	5
3958	I tell you, this place is going to the dogs!	1.2486	0.04127	177	143	24	10
3959	You don't see dogs playing with mouse every day!	1.2486	0.03631	177	137	36	4
3960	Oh my god...’’To Serve Man’ -it’s a ...dog food cookbook !!	1.2486	0.04029	173	138	27	8
3961	Let’s leave! This place is going to the dogs. Bob Mayer,Warsaw, IN	1.2486	0.03945	173	137	29	7
3962	He's the one farting, but he keeps telling them all it was me. OR He's the one passing gas, but he keeps telling them all it was me.	1.2486	0.04029	173	138	27	8
3963	This generation of canine should do less facebooking and more walking.	1.2486	0.03945	173	137	29	7
3964	Somebody left a pile of kibble in the break room!	1.2486	0.04350	173	142	19	12
3965	Didn't I tell you the dog bakery next door would change this neighborhood?	1.2486	0.03945	173	137	29	7
3966	And we thought robots were our competition.	1.2486	0.03771	173	135	33	5
3967	Hey! Where do you think the new interns are from?	1.2486	0.04029	173	138	27	8
3968	It's a dog eat dog kinda market!	1.2485	0.04006	169	134	28	7
3969	Yes, I know they they are efficient working dogs with Westminster papers, but I'm tired of picking up their s_it!	1.2485	0.04178	169	136	24	9
3970	I can't "fetch" like Ivanka here. That doesn't make me less of a bitch.	1.2485	0.04006	169	134	28	7
3971	You'd think they could learn how to use the water closet too, right?	1.2485	0.04006	169	134	28	7
3972	Fido has just tweeted his 10,000,000 followers to rise in revolt against their owners next Thursday!	1.2484	0.04136	161	128	26	7
3973	I can’t keep up; my opposable thumb offers no advantage.	1.2484	0.03944	161	126	30	5
3974	Quick! How do you say, "Wanna play fetch?" to a French poodle?	1.2484	0.04107	157	124	27	6
3975	“Let’s face it, we’re the underdogs in this Emotional Support Project.”	1.2484	0.04006	157	123	29	5
3976	I love the new diversity approach here at work, but they do need to adapt the bathrooms accordingly.	1.2483	0.04141	149	117	27	5
3977	Nobody knows when a place has gone to the dogs...on the Internet.	1.2476	0.03544	210	166	36	8
3978	They don't think we need a union...	1.2474	0.03802	194	155	30	9
3979	It’s so difficult to separate yourself from the herd around here.	1.2474	0.03782	190	151	31	8
3980	I asked him what the "bowwow protocol" is, and he said he'd 'byte' me.	1.2474	0.03927	190	153	27	10
3981	They can only access Wikipeedia!	1.2473	0.03601	186	145	36	5
3982	Didn’t realize the dog friendly office was going to slow down the internet this badly!	1.2473	0.03732	182	143	33	6
3983	I thought they played poker?	1.2473	0.03891	182	145	29	8
3984	Hey, don't drink the cool-aid!	1.2473	0.03732	182	143	33	6
3985	Do you know the woof-fi?	1.2473	0.03812	182	144	31	7
3986	What’s with H.R. and the new hires?	1.2473	0.03732	182	143	33	6
3987	This is why the company is going to the dogs.	1.2472	0.03784	178	140	32	6
3988	Would you stop making that weird noise with your throat?	1.2472	0.03867	178	141	30	7
3989	Whatever happened to playing "Go fetch" ?	1.2472	0.03700	178	139	34	5
3990	Technology is going to the dogs!	1.2472	0.04028	178	143	26	9
3991	It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.	1.2472	0.03784	178	140	32	6
3992	Today must be "the every dog has its day" day.	1.2472	0.03784	178	140	32	6
3993	I can't work with these guys, they behave like a bunch of animals!	1.2472	0.03867	178	141	30	7
3994	I thought the dog days were over!	1.2471	0.04009	174	139	27	8
3995	It's embarrassing. I have no idea what I'm looking at, but they don't seem to have a problem.	1.2471	0.03839	174	137	31	6
3996	I hate Bring Your Mutt to Work Day.	1.2471	0.03925	174	138	29	7
3997	Apparently they’ve outsourced to a new training center.	1.2471	0.03570	174	134	37	3
3998	They're in my Felinese class.	1.2471	0.03839	174	137	31	6
3999	If that bitch next to you doesn't stop staring at me, I'll be forced to report her to Canine Resources	1.2471	0.04091	174	140	25	9
4000	They’re from that new Montessori Doggie Daycare.	1.2471	0.04171	174	141	23	10
4001	This call center is going to the dogs	1.2471	0.03421	170	129	40	1
4002	How do these dogs even get their owners' credit card information?	1.2471	0.03985	170	135	28	7
4003	I SAID these dog day afternoons are killing me.	1.2471	0.03897	170	134	30	6
4004	How did this become a dog tweet dog world anyway?	1.2471	0.03897	170	134	30	6
4005	You’re right, the world is going to the dogs	1.2471	0.04239	170	138	22	10
4006	This caller is looking for his bone, but it's not in our database!	1.2471	0.03985	170	135	28	7
4007	How long has it been since I looked up from my screen?	1.2470	0.04048	166	132	27	7
4008	We outsourced from the SPCA.	1.2469	0.04019	162	128	28	6
4009	Did you think this is what they meant when they said it was a ‘diverse campus’?	1.2469	0.03922	162	127	30	5
4010	I thought "bring your pet to work day" was tomorrow!	1.2469	0.04295	162	131	22	9
4011	We’ve gone to the dogs!	1.2469	0.04113	162	129	26	7
4012	Wi-Fi, Wi-Fido, what's the difference?	1.2469	0.03922	162	127	30	5
4013	I guess no bonus this year... just bones	1.2468	0.04182	158	126	25	7
4014	Everyone talked about how AI implants were going to change the industry, and I just didn't buy it	1.2468	0.03668	158	121	35	2
4015	Why are they still here? They can't go until they hear their master's voice.	1.2468	0.04084	158	125	27	6
4016	it's like a zoo in here!	1.2468	0.04253	154	123	24	7
4017	How was I to know what "Dog's Day" meant?	1.2468	0.04352	154	124	22	8
4018	This organisation is going to the dogs	1.2467	0.04224	150	119	25	6
4019	How do you like your first day?...it's like working in a zoo...right?	1.2464	0.03155	207	158	47	2
4020	It’s concerning, but they are man’s best friend.	1.2463	0.03338	203	157	42	4
4021	Do you ever think that we are working with a bunch of dogs?	1.2462	0.03524	199	156	37	6
4022	It's a start up so we can't talk about it.	1.2460	0.03741	187	148	32	7
4023	Since the take over this place has gone to the dogs.	1.2460	0.03664	187	147	34	6
4024	How do you change your profile picture?	1.2460	0.03817	187	149	30	8
4025	Yeah, they’ve literally taken over the internet	1.2459	0.04171	183	150	21	12
4026	They failed to consider that bringing a working dog to bring-your-pets-to-work day would lead to the discovery that they were replaceable.	1.2459	0.03949	183	147	27	9
4027	It is a website for animals, so they're here for user experience.	1.2459	0.04024	183	148	25	10
4028	What good is a longer life if this is what we do with it?	1.2459	0.03632	183	143	35	5
4029	Are we the only two studying Pig Latin?	1.2458	0.04008	179	144	26	9
4030	I just hope they limit this at dog eat DOG.	1.2458	0.03929	179	143	28	8
4031	The other workers here are complete animals! I mean, how many times do I have to tell Sharon to throw away her yogurt cups!?	1.2457	0.04070	175	141	25	9
4032	I know this is a dog friendly office but this is ridiculous.	1.2457	0.03988	175	140	27	8
4033	When we signed up to watch Dog Day Afternoon, I had no idea what that entailed.	1.2456	0.03876	171	135	30	6
4034	I wish they would stick to five card stud	1.2456	0.04134	171	138	24	9
4035	They found #squirrelfun.	1.2456	0.03876	171	135	30	6
4036	Wait, did they say 'open office' or 'cage free'?	1.2456	0.03876	171	135	30	6
4037	This bring your dog to work day is rediclous!	1.2455	0.04115	167	134	25	8
4038	Hey, it beats the dog park.	1.2455	0.03843	167	131	31	5
4039	I feel like a slacker. Everyone around here has a 35-year plan.	1.2455	0.04286	167	136	21	10
4040	Look, this is Pavlov U. It could be worse. At least we still can salivate.	1.2454	0.03997	163	129	28	6
4041	I heard they only serve kibble at the cafeteria	1.2454	0.03997	163	129	28	6
4042	No, it's "dog eat dog" not "doggie dog".	1.2454	0.04272	163	132	22	9
4043	You seem nice, but most men who work here are real dogs!	1.2453	0.04061	159	126	27	6
4044	Do you get the feeling that this job is going to the dogs?	1.2453	0.04158	159	127	25	7
4045	Online poker is really taking off.	1.2452	0.03622	208	166	33	9
4046	One of these guys is asking what to do with a huge penis that won't retract. Do you think I'm in danger	1.2451	0.04104	204	170	18	16
4047	When they said they were hiring aliens I thought they meant people from Mexico!	1.2450	0.04303	151	121	23	7
4048	On the internet, seems everyone’s a dog lately.	1.2448	0.03747	192	153	31	8
4049	When did this company change from 'pet friendly' to 'pet controlling?'	1.2447	0.03799	188	150	30	8
4050	Is there any way to know if all this research is paying off?	1.2447	0.03873	188	151	28	9
4051	On the dog-ternet, nobody knows you're an intern.	1.2444	0.03747	180	142	32	6
4052	I think the big one is CIA!	1.2444	0.03909	180	144	28	8
4053	I have to whisper as they are hush puppies or is that stereotyping or is that dogtyping	1.2444	0.03664	180	141	34	5
4054	I think the centaur has been stealing my lunch out of the staff fridge.	1.2444	0.03909	180	144	28	8
4055	I don’t get why they have to work us like humans here.	1.2443	0.04128	176	143	23	10
4056	Got to be authentic. We are marketing products they use.	1.2443	0.03714	176	138	33	5
4057	They're learning how to become comfort animals.	1.2443	0.03885	176	140	29	7
4058	Only in ZOO York!	1.2443	0.03885	176	140	29	7
4059	I don't care if they are 'man's' BFF; they aren't mine.	1.2443	0.03801	176	139	31	6
4060	This company has gone to the dogs.	1.2442	0.04029	172	138	26	8
4061	So, you wanna bone?	1.2442	0.03767	172	135	32	5
4062	Maybe I'd like a chew toy break.	1.2442	0.03676	172	134	34	4
4063	We need to bow wowt of here!	1.2442	0.04113	172	139	24	9
4064	I’m afraid we could be the last people who can still speak the forbidden way!!	1.2440	0.03915	168	133	29	6
4065	The Republicans make them work for bones instead of begging for them.	1.2440	0.03915	168	133	29	6
4066	Hey Jon, you really shouldn't say that management is working us like dogs.	1.2440	0.04263	168	137	21	10
4067	This ‘Take Your Pet to Work’ day just isn’t working out!	1.2440	0.04005	168	134	27	7
4068	I can't concentrate with that whistling sound coming out of his headphones.	1.2440	0.03728	168	131	33	4
4069	I think they are looking a “ball porn”!	1.2440	0.03631	168	130	35	3
4070	This collie is inappropriately licking me!	1.2440	0.03915	168	133	29	6
4071	I think he's copying me.	1.2440	0.04005	168	134	27	7
4072	I liked it better next to the Bichon Frise.	1.2439	0.04068	164	131	26	7
4073	I know I said things were going to the dogs around here, but I never expected this!	1.2439	0.03587	205	163	34	8
4074	I really hadn’t understood what they meant by The Dog Days Of Summer.	1.2439	0.03682	164	127	34	3
4075	His tail keeps smacking me in the face.	1.2438	0.03564	201	159	35	7
4076	No idea about their experience with customers' complaints, but they are definitely good with the "calls of the riled".	1.2437	0.03940	160	126	29	5
4077	How did WE get here?	1.2437	0.03518	160	122	37	1
4078	This seems like dog eat dog but the last place I worked was a real zoo!	1.2437	0.04229	160	129	23	8
4079	The world has gone to the dogs, and there's nothing we can do to stop it!	1.2437	0.03681	197	157	32	8
4080	Look, when he offers it either eat a Kibble or be replaced--your choice.	1.2435	0.03657	193	153	33	7
4081	Let’s talk and walk.	1.2435	0.03582	193	152	35	6
4082	The new guy is working like a dog....!	1.2434	0.03629	189	149	34	6
4083	Whose idea was it to have a "bring your dog to work day."	1.2434	0.03629	189	149	34	6
4084	It's like...why did I bother majoring in Human-Computer interaction if on the Internet nobody can tell if you're a dog?	1.2434	0.03551	189	148	36	5
4085	No fair! They detect dog whistles better than we do.	1.2432	0.03835	185	148	29	8
4086	No dogs allowed? They say the computer lab is for Labs and we should get out!	1.2432	0.03678	185	146	33	6
4087	Did you just woof at me on Instagram?	1.2432	0.03678	185	146	33	6
4088	I can't stand the growling!	1.2432	0.03835	185	148	29	8
4089	Are they yours?	1.2432	0.03678	185	146	33	6
4090	I don't know what they get from this. The cat ran away weeks ago.	1.2432	0.03985	185	150	25	10
4091	Who farted?	1.2432	0.03835	185	148	29	8
4092	Just be grateful it’s still just a dog eat dog world out there	1.2431	0.03729	181	143	32	6
4093	This “bring your pet to work” policy has just gone too far,!	1.2429	0.03866	177	141	29	7
4094	It's getting more difficult not to take 'A Hard Day's Night' literally.	1.2429	0.03948	177	142	27	8
4095	I don't know about you, but I was told this was a dog-eat-dog world.	1.2429	0.03948	177	142	27	8
4096	This place has been going to the dogs for a long time!	1.2429	0.03696	177	139	33	5
4097	How is Musk coming along with that ship to Mars?	1.2428	0.03923	173	138	28	7
4098	Are our coworkers really that stupid, Steve? I don't think they understood what "Bring Your Dog to Work Day" meant!	1.2428	0.03923	173	138	28	7
4099	Let's blame it on the dog	1.2428	0.03748	173	136	32	5
4100	Internet cafes are going to the fucking dogs!	1.2427	0.03765	206	167	28	11
4101	There is no going to about it, this place is run by them!	1.2426	0.04071	169	136	25	8
4102	‘What the heck does wolf Wof Wof Arf Bow Wow Arf mean?	1.2426	0.03803	169	133	31	5
4103	Apparently the dog demographic is through the roof on this product.	1.2426	0.03984	169	135	27	7
4104	If I don’t meet this week’s quota, then I’ll be the one in the doghouse.	1.2426	0.03894	169	134	29	6
4105	It's a zoo in here!	1.2424	0.04137	165	133	24	8
4106	This "open" floor plan has gone too far.	1.2424	0.04046	165	132	26	7
4107	Human! Let’s do dinner	1.2424	0.03762	165	129	32	4
4108	Why does Max have to keep kibbles right there on his desk, when he knows we're not supposed to eat them?	1.2424	0.03593	198	157	34	7
4109	That new AI app translates everything.	1.2422	0.03818	161	126	31	4
4110	It's a dog eat dog cyberspace	1.2421	0.03837	190	153	28	9
4111	THIS is what they meant by colour-blind hiring?	1.2421	0.03689	190	151	32	7
4112	Is this a "Dog Day Afternoon?"	1.2420	0.03980	157	124	28	5
4113	Yesterday, he microwaved fish!	1.2418	0.04025	182	148	24	10
4114	I cannot believe they work for rawhides.	1.2418	0.03628	182	143	34	5
4115	He's listening to a seriously tail-waging mix!	1.2418	0.03871	182	146	28	8
4116	How are we supposed to compete in a "Dog Eat Dog" office space?	1.2418	0.03711	182	144	32	6
4117	It seems like nobody knows we’re people.	1.2418	0.03628	182	143	34	5
4118	Why do I always get the old goat?	1.2418	0.03711	182	144	32	6
4119	They have to be here, they’re the top dogs of this dog eat dog world!	1.2416	0.03928	178	143	27	8
4120	Of course a best friend is a peer!	1.2416	0.03409	178	137	39	2
4121	I don't care if you are a boxer, I am still going to have to ask you to leave.	1.2416	0.03763	178	141	31	6
4122	What’s with all the dogs on this dating site?	1.2416	0.04086	178	145	23	10
4123	It seems we've lost our dominion over all the creatures of the earth.	1.2414	0.03729	174	137	32	5
4124	What're we gonna do now? Our jobs are going to the dogs.	1.2414	0.03734	203	164	29	10
4125	This speed dating has its pitfalls. I was chatting for hours with what turned out to be poodle!	1.2414	0.03903	174	139	28	7
4126	If he barks, I am calling the boss!	1.2414	0.03903	174	139	28	7
4127	I told you free range office space would be a zoo.	1.2414	0.03903	174	139	28	7
4128	I thought you said this was a vegetarian workshop, not a veternarian one!	1.2414	0.03729	174	137	32	5
4129	I guess tech companies are skeweing younger AND harrier.	1.2412	0.03783	170	134	31	5
4130	I told you Artificial Intelligence is replacing us.	1.2412	0.03783	170	134	31	5
4131	Hey, the new guys aren't wearing pants. I know there supposed to be "really good boys" but jeez!	1.2412	0.03874	170	135	29	6
4132	Run! We're next!	1.2412	0.03496	170	131	37	2
4133	Who's to say we are the Pinnacle of Evolution?	1.2410	0.03839	166	131	30	5
4134	They are on line like seven times longer!	1.2407	0.03897	162	128	29	5
4135	I guess at this startup they really do eat their own dogfood.	1.2407	0.03994	162	129	27	6
4136	Who cares if you aren't the boss's BEST FRIEND??? At least your breath is really sweet!	1.2407	0.03994	162	129	27	6
4137	And then he said: "You're insensitive, Claudia". After I worked my tail off to get this internship.	1.2403	0.03805	154	120	31	3
4138	This is the future liberals want.	1.2402	0.03908	179	144	27	8
4139	Do they always have to play "Who Let the Humans Out?"?	1.2402	0.03827	179	143	29	7
4140	This startup is for the dogs!	1.2400	0.04197	150	120	24	6
4141	...and HR never replied to my e-mails...	1.2400	0.03435	175	135	38	2
4142	The one to your left is Lady and the boy across from her is Giles	1.2400	0.03798	175	139	30	6
4143	This industry has really gone to the dogs!	1.2400	0.03883	175	140	28	7
4144	This is the ultimate outsource.	1.2400	0.03883	175	140	28	7
4145	Man, these liberal arts schools will let anybody in nowadays.	1.2400	0.03967	175	141	26	8
4146	How bad could an online dog obedience school be?" you said. Now he won't even Skype me unless I reward him with him with a doggie style porn video	1.2400	0.04049	175	142	24	9
4147	I don't care if it IS international dog day! I will not be shushed by a cocker spaniel!	1.2398	0.03607	196	156	33	7
4148	The goat with the hooves types better than I do!	1.2398	0.03534	196	155	35	6
4149	Apparently, this is HR's response to office sexual harassment.	1.2398	0.03576	171	133	35	3
4150	So there really are dogs on the Internet, and no one else knows?!	1.2398	0.03942	171	137	27	7
4151	Their new app is Kibble ‘n Bitcoin.	1.2398	0.04028	171	138	25	8
4152	What does "Woof,arf,woof,arf,arf,arf" mean"	1.2398	0.03576	171	133	35	3
4153	When did this place go to the dogs?	1.2396	0.03801	192	155	28	9
4154	Apparently you can also get in if your parent buy a lab.	1.2395	0.04179	167	136	22	9
4155	Tim, C++ is a programming language. It does not stand for "Cats".	1.2395	0.03912	167	133	28	6
4156	Look, I tried it. They're simply not buying into the idea that it's a Dog eat Dog world.	1.2394	0.04112	142	112	26	4
4157	I still can't hear anything.	1.2394	0.03466	188	147	37	4
4158	I told you for the registration it's K thru 9 and not canine. Now what do we do for a snack break?	1.2394	0.03780	188	151	29	8
4159	Best friend my ass! First it was the competition from overseas, now Pavlov and his buddies who work for scraps	1.2393	0.04249	163	133	21	9
4160	It’s “dog eat dog” here in the corporate world.	1.2391	0.03593	184	145	34	5
4161	I resented the way they have avoided paying this new crew the higher minimum wage , but did they have to fill the snack vending machine with bags of kibble?	1.2391	0.03675	184	146	32	6
4162	''Our days are numbered, but our nights are still our own.''	1.2390	0.03502	205	163	35	7
4163	They're all on a short leash, so in exactly 4 minutes we're making a break for the door.	1.2390	0.04133	159	128	24	7
4164	They definitely work more doggedly than we do!	1.2390	0.04133	159	128	24	7
4165	I complained about these guys to HR; they told me to stop dog whistling.	1.2389	0.03555	180	141	35	4
4166	As a cat person, this is ruff.	1.2389	0.03808	180	144	29	7
4167	Can you believe we left the pig sty for this!?	1.2389	0.03555	180	141	35	4
4168	Do you have any idea what we're supposed to be doing?	1.2389	0.03808	180	144	29	7
4169	Seriously!? Is our job going to the dogs?	1.2389	0.03726	180	143	31	6
4170	They just have an instinct for bringing in donations on dog-whistle issues.	1.2386	0.03603	176	138	34	4
4171	They're famous for treating us like dogs here, but I don't see it.	1.2386	0.04028	176	143	24	9
4172	This job is ruf.	1.2386	0.03779	176	140	30	6
4173	So let him be leader of the pack for awhile what’s wring with that?	1.2386	0.03864	176	141	28	7
4174	Their code is nothing more than doggerel .	1.2384	0.03921	172	138	27	7
4175	You mean your avatar is a human?	1.2384	0.04173	172	141	21	10
4176	Whatever happened to knick-knack-paddy-whack give your dog a bone???	1.2384	0.03744	172	136	31	5
4177	These co-workers are not MY best friends, but then again, you are a man.	1.2381	0.03891	168	134	28	6
4178	I’ve heard of Pavlovian, but this is rediculous!	1.2381	0.03450	189	148	37	4
4179	Throw me a bone... the ratings have been ruff.	1.2381	0.03703	168	132	32	4
4180	Well I sure hope this is the wrong focus group.	1.2381	0.03703	168	132	32	4
4181	All traders are equal, but some traders are more equal than others.	1.2381	0.03686	189	151	31	7
4182	Don't worry about your job, all these guys can't type	1.2378	0.03576	185	146	34	5
4183	I heard we were bought out by a dog training company.	1.2378	0.03951	164	131	27	6
4184	I already told you, I will not wear a dog collar.	1.2378	0.03951	164	131	27	6
4185	Don't worry, once competition heats up, they'll start eating themselves.	1.2378	0.04044	164	132	25	7
4186	He has more BFFs than Beyoncé.	1.2376	0.03624	181	143	33	5
4187	When they mentioned the “decline in our HR” I didn’t think they meant this!	1.2376	0.03450	181	141	37	3
4188	You don't really think "Woofi" is going to sell, do you?	1.2375	0.03914	160	127	28	5
4189	The boss insisted a monkey could do my job!	1.2374	0.03428	198	156	37	5
4190	I'm stepping out for a kibble break.	1.2374	0.03502	198	157	35	6
4191	I've gotten use to the lunch-time fetching and the bowls of kibble on the desk, but dammit I'm drawing the line at Max here chewing on my new boots.	1.2373	0.03760	177	141	30	6
4192	Ordinarily I'm a 'live and let live' kind of person, but what the furry community is doing with CRISPR technology feels like a crime against nature.	1.2373	0.03673	177	140	32	5
4193	I know we're short-staffed but this is ridiculous.	1.2373	0.03844	177	142	28	7
4194	I mean, he didn't have to say it's a girl-eat=girl world in the staff meeting?	1.2372	0.03976	156	124	27	5
4195	I heard it plain as day. Arf, arf, woof,woof,woof, arf,arf woof,arf,woof. Thier plotting to take over your chair.	1.2372	0.03871	156	123	29	4
4196	NOW do you believe me when I tell you our school has gone to the dogs?	1.2370	0.03814	173	138	29	6
4197	Did the temp agency send you after the "dog eat dog" incident, too?	1.2370	0.04070	173	141	23	9
4198	Thanks to our new co-workers, the boss expectations keep getting higher.	1.2370	0.04070	173	141	23	9
4199	What happens when investors figure out that dogs can't commercialize self-driving cars either?	1.2370	0.04151	173	142	21	10
4200	Yes, I know it’s a trade-off, but we’re out of poop bags again.	1.2367	0.03960	169	136	26	7
4201	See? I told you this place has gone to the dogs.	1.2367	0.03684	169	133	32	4
4202	How is it going for you ? I don´t have the human skills for this.	1.2367	0.03870	169	135	28	6
4203	I heard this place was going to the dogs!	1.2367	0.03870	169	135	28	6
4204	They were supposed to send in scabs, not labs.	1.2367	0.03960	169	136	26	7
4205	I can't believe they're being so messy in a library! These guys are such animals and the one next to you especially looks like a real bitch!	1.2364	0.04113	165	134	23	8
4206	Well all I know is there was no flame war until you and Rex got here.	1.2364	0.03737	165	130	31	4
4207	They're all using MasterMatch.com	1.2364	0.03929	165	132	27	6
4208	just don’t say a word and maybe they won’t notice	1.2364	0.04022	165	133	25	7
4209	Is "Tell us your Favorite Kibble Brands and We'll Guess your Age in Human Years", too obviously clickbait?	1.2364	0.04022	165	133	25	7
4210	Call me old fashioned, but this hipster trend is getting really out of hand	1.2364	0.03929	165	132	27	6
4211	They say it’s an equal opportunity employer, but we’ll never be the big dog.	1.2364	0.04022	165	133	25	7
4212	Jeez, they work me like a dog at this job.	1.2364	0.03929	165	132	27	6
4213	Apparently everyone's having a really "ruff" Monday.	1.2363	0.03850	182	147	27	8
4214	Look, all I know is that it’s a dog hack dog world out there.	1.2363	0.03771	182	146	29	7
4215	Could they make this any more complicated?	1.2363	0.03850	182	147	27	8
4216	Are we supposed to sniff butts to say, "Hello" too?	1.2363	0.04005	182	149	23	10
4217	I'm new here. Can you send me the link for the codes for "woof" and "baa".	1.2363	0.03434	182	142	37	3
4218	He just sits here drooling over BallHub all day.	1.2363	0.03850	182	147	27	8
4219	Is this what they mean by dog days?	1.2362	0.03559	199	159	33	7
4220	They work a lot cheaper.	1.2362	0.03699	199	161	29	9
4221	Match.com is reaching out to new subscribers.	1.2360	0.04181	161	131	22	8
4222	Low unemployment is not man's best friend.	1.2360	0.03893	161	128	28	5
4223	I think I follow that guy on Instagram.	1.2360	0.03991	161	129	26	6
4224	Working here is like working in a cartoon.	1.2360	0.03907	178	144	26	8
4225	I know our agency wants to hear every point of view, but, C'MON!	1.2360	0.03567	178	140	34	4
4226	My nose has been up here the whole time.	1.2360	0.04066	178	146	22	10
4227	The Internet has gone to the dogs.	1.2359	0.03748	195	158	28	9
4228	who are these new colleagues? you would think they would start hiring humans after what happened last time.	1.2357	0.04055	157	126	25	6
4229	Sorry, but if they don’t mine Bitcoin for at least an hour a day then this whole “Dog Walker” gig just really isn’t worth my time.	1.2357	0.04055	157	126	25	6
4230	This job's really gone to the dogs...	1.2357	0.03953	157	125	27	5
4231	I’m right here, don’t email me!!	1.2356	0.03966	174	141	25	8
4232	We are being over-run by minority groups.	1.2356	0.04049	174	142	23	9
4233	I hate afternoon walk time.	1.2356	0.03794	174	139	29	6
4234	I know this place was cheap but the astro-turf makes me nervous.	1.2356	0.03966	174	141	25	8
4235	You don't see us chasing balls. Oh, wait, you do.	1.2356	0.03522	174	136	35	3
4236	Didn't I tell you to buy them blue collars?	1.2356	0.03652	191	153	31	7
4237	Ever since they cracked that species code - the rule of thumb is gone.	1.2356	0.03498	191	151	35	5
4238	Just ignore any text which isn't a command, and then the gist of it becomes legible...	1.2353	0.03759	170	135	30	5
4239	They learned it in therapy dog training school.	1.2353	0.04027	170	138	24	8
4240	Now I know this company has gone to the dogs.	1.2353	0.04123	153	123	24	6
4241	Do you have a moment to step out for a bark?	1.2353	0.03701	187	150	30	7
4242	Can you upload me some flea meds?	1.2353	0.03759	170	135	30	5
4243	I find these colleagues terribly ruff to work with	1.2350	0.03671	183	146	31	6
4244	Not what I expected for 'Bring your to work' day.	1.2350	0.03589	183	145	33	5
4245	Why do the bitches not get headphones?	1.2349	0.03908	166	133	27	6
4246	If I don't win this game, its the doghouse for me.	1.2349	0.04001	166	134	25	7
4247	''I'm wondering whether dogs are man's best friends is getting too literal."	1.2349	0.03617	166	130	33	3
4248	What! It’s a dog’s day afternoon!	1.2349	0.04091	166	135	23	8
4249	Don’t you think we’re a little overqualified?	1.2349	0.03617	166	130	33	3
4250	Another Affirmative Action hire, I bet.	1.2349	0.03717	166	131	31	4
4251	When Dorothy took over, this place went to the dogs.	1.2347	0.03439	196	155	36	5
4252	I missed the K9 in the firm's URL.	1.2346	0.03806	179	144	28	7
4253	The leg-humping I can handle. It's the microwaved fish that offends me.	1.2346	0.03637	179	142	32	5
4254	You think the Shar-Pei was a diversity hire, but I bring up the fact we're the only ones who have to wear pants and I'M problematic? Wow, Brad.	1.2346	0.03969	162	130	26	6
4255	They've discovered Pong!	1.2346	0.03668	162	127	32	3
4256	I can't work here! This place is a zoo!	1.2344	0.03482	192	152	35	5
4257	It's a real zoo in here.	1.2344	0.03709	192	155	29	8
4258	Really Phil, this is the day you choose to send out a cat meme?	1.2343	0.03687	175	139	31	5
4259	psst...I thought we were the only ones that could reason!	1.2343	0.03861	175	141	27	7
4260	I do not want to use these computers during mating season.	1.2343	0.03861	175	141	27	7
4261	Sometimes, on the internet nobody knows you're a dog. But when we know you're a dog, we turn you over to the dog help desk.	1.2343	0.03687	175	139	31	5
4262	How do I know they're not whistling at me?	1.2342	0.04131	158	128	23	7
4263	But they _love_ the password 'bark1234'!	1.2339	0.04174	171	141	20	10
4264	I thought this was a class on the dogmatic approach to important issues.	1.2339	0.03830	171	137	28	6
4265	Are you sure we're in the right department? We don't quite fit in here!	1.2339	0.03351	171	132	38	1
4266	See! It's not so hard. I knew you would eventually learn this new software.	1.2338	0.03733	201	164	27	10
4267	Did you sign Jen's birthday card yet?	1.2338	0.04201	154	125	22	7
4268	I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.	1.2337	0.03734	184	148	29	7
4269	Hey, I was wondering are you a shepherd or something?	1.2335	0.03793	167	133	29	5
4270	First two dogs and then whatever this thing on my right is! What's next, a camel? Well I guess it is Wednesday.	1.2335	0.03887	167	134	27	6
4271	Here I thought that robots were going to replace us, not rovers.	1.2335	0.03887	167	134	27	6
4272	Would it surprise you if I told you bones have more value than cigarettes?	1.2335	0.03887	167	134	27	6
4273	Can you decode what they're saying?	1.2335	0.03887	167	134	27	6
4274	I thought I'd be working in the bullpen, not the dog pound!	1.2333	0.03868	180	146	26	8
4275	Why are people online such animals?	1.2333	0.04168	150	121	23	6
4276	Cats at the Bottom of the Ocean 2.0 just came out	1.2333	0.03947	180	147	24	9
4277	I think this place is going to the dogs	1.2333	0.03704	180	144	30	6
4278	Don't worry, you'll get the next big story. Every dog has its day.	1.2333	0.03532	180	142	34	4
4279	I told you it was take your pet to work day!	1.2333	0.03787	180	145	28	7
4280	They still don't know who won 'Goodest Boy'?	1.2333	0.03704	180	144	30	6
4281	I didn't know the geniuses were coming to work today.	1.2331	0.04135	163	133	22	8
4282	And I have dog hair all over my black pants just in time for my presentation.	1.2331	0.03850	163	130	28	5
4283	I guess the business world isn't dog-eat-dog after all.	1.2330	0.03756	176	141	29	6
4284	This place has gone to the dogs! And I hate the vending machines with nothing but Kibble!!	1.2330	0.03393	176	137	37	2
4285	I lied on my application.” “Me too, I’m not fluent neither!	1.2330	0.03841	176	142	27	7
4286	Don’t let the dogs here us, but let’s get O-U-T of here!	1.2328	0.03428	189	149	36	4
4287	Why do they keep growling at us?	1.2328	0.03666	189	152	30	7
4288	They're farming my job out next!	1.2328	0.03589	189	151	32	6
4289	Now they let the dogs out, it's a human-eat-human world.	1.2327	0.04204	159	130	21	8
4290	They make more money than we do,plus all the treats they want!	1.2324	0.03297	185	144	39	2
4291	No I did not say Pet you!	1.2323	0.04075	155	125	24	6
4292	They say that they are immigrants from Kennel.	1.2323	0.04177	155	126	22	7
4293	What’s a woofer.	1.2321	0.03958	168	136	25	7
4294	At WeWork, we ALL work, there’s no free dog biscuits, Jack.	1.2321	0.03579	168	132	33	3
4295	You're the one who said they're all animals	1.2321	0.04047	168	137	23	8
4296	I know your are the only male here; what's your problem?	1.2320	0.04005	181	149	22	10
4297	I guess they are man's best friend for a reason.	1.2320	0.03686	181	145	30	6
4298	Can you translate “baa” into dog language?	1.2320	0.03427	181	142	36	3
4299	I've had it with this job! You're all a bunch of animals.	1.2320	0.03849	181	147	26	8
4300	I hinted and hinted, but does she invite me to the park with the others at the park for a quick nip? Never.	1.2320	0.03849	181	147	26	8
4301	Can you believe Trevor listens to Nickleback?	1.2320	0.03747	194	158	27	9
4302	It’s gone viral - your bark is worse than your bite.	1.2318	0.04036	151	121	25	5
4303	That is so fetch.	1.2318	0.04144	151	122	23	6
4304	I’m not familiar with the Boxedoodle dialect.	1.2318	0.04036	151	121	25	5
4305	My virtual world is going to the dogs!	1.2317	0.03926	164	132	26	6
4306	He's angry that the free biscuit promotion expired. What should I say?	1.2317	0.03926	164	132	26	6
4307	I don't know about you, Fred, but I feel a little objectified by the article "You Won't Get Over How Cute These 10 Humans Are" that Fido is writing.	1.2317	0.03829	164	131	28	5
4308	I told you that the internet was going to the dogs.	1.2316	0.03649	190	153	30	7
4309	They claim special knowledge of Sirius, the Dog Star	1.2316	0.03798	190	155	26	9
4310	I swear one of them shit in the microwave.	1.2312	0.04364	160	133	17	10
4311	I told you this company has gone to the dogs!	1.2312	0.03785	160	127	29	4
4312	They still think we’re dogs.	1.2312	0.03609	173	137	32	4
4313	Looks like this place is going to the dogs	1.2312	0.03964	173	141	24	8
4314	Is it just me or has this place been going to the dogs lately?	1.2312	0.03878	173	140	26	7
4315	OK. The place has gone to the dogs!	1.2312	0.03609	173	137	32	4
4316	But I like cute cat videos!	1.2312	0.03701	173	138	30	5
4317	This place is really going to the dogs.	1.2312	0.03790	173	139	28	6
4318	Did Orwell predict Democratic Socialism would come this far?	1.2312	0.03964	173	141	24	8
4319	I can't think of any more 'Signs That You are a Good Boy' listicles.	1.2312	0.03537	186	148	33	5
4320	How do you say donation in poodle?	1.2312	0.03454	186	147	35	4
4321	I think the Snoop Dogg edibles are kicking-in.	1.2312	0.03698	186	150	29	7
4322	And all I said is that I hope AI isn't going to take my job!	1.2312	0.03537	186	148	33	5
4323	I feel like a dog working here!	1.2308	0.03667	182	146	30	6
4324	The schnauzer wants to nuke Catalonia!	1.2308	0.03985	182	150	22	10
4325	Just once, Mike, I'd like to go somewhere besides The Dog Fart Cafe.	1.2308	0.04280	169	141	17	11
4326	I guess doggy daycare got out early today...	1.2308	0.04152	156	127	22	7
4327	What kind of visa did they arrange for these guys?	1.2308	0.03584	182	145	32	5
4328	I can't believe they hired that jackass.	1.2308	0.03937	169	137	25	7
4329	I'll pick up your poop if you pick up mine.	1.2308	0.03658	169	134	31	4
4330	Ever since poker's gone on-line.	1.2308	0.03937	169	137	25	7
4331	They say that we’re next.” Ivor Hanson, Scarsdale, N	1.2308	0.03658	195	158	29	8
4332	The dogs found more Russian computer interference than I did.	1.2304	0.03632	191	154	30	7
4333	Growling at irate customers doesn't bother me nearly as much as dogging it when I'm busting my behind.	1.2304	0.03780	191	156	26	9
4334	They're training cats and dogs in here!	1.2304	0.03780	191	156	26	9
4335	Translated (”Pierre, when you signed up for an English-as-a-second-language lab, you should have read the fine print!”)	1.2303	0.03885	178	145	25	8
4336	Didn't I tell you? This job's a bitch.	1.2303	0.03808	165	132	28	5
4337	Of course they have more sales. They speak the same language.	1.2303	0.03710	165	131	30	4
4338	David, your breath is disgusting!	1.2299	0.03601	187	150	31	6
4339	I know someone said our company was going to the dogs, but jeez	1.2299	0.03943	174	142	24	8
4340	The boss did compare this internship to Animal House...	1.2299	0.03771	174	140	28	6
4341	Now I understand that expression, " It's a dogs world."	1.2299	0.03682	174	139	30	5
4342	I didn't know we were going to get our bonus in doggie treats!!	1.2299	0.03682	174	139	30	5
4343	I can't stand Max.	1.2298	0.03552	161	126	33	2
4344	This CRISPR technology has gotten out of hand.	1.2296	0.03419	196	156	35	5
4345	Pavlov's Dogs had nothing on these guys!	1.2295	0.03731	183	148	28	7
4346	Let's face it, we can't compete with them. They're a different breed! Peter Giessner, Peapack, NJ	1.2295	0.03481	183	145	34	4
4347	He's chatting with a poodle...	1.2295	0.03566	183	146	32	5
4348	The programs are dog friendly.	1.2295	0.03650	183	147	30	6
4349	There is no way we are hacking into Meowmix servers without opposble thumbs.	1.2294	0.03916	170	138	25	7
4350	So...when will the dogs start eating each other?	1.2294	0.04090	170	140	21	9
4351	Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit eating dog biscuits.	1.2293	0.03926	157	126	26	5
4352	I told you this would happen when we got a poker simulator on the company computer.	1.2293	0.04028	157	127	24	6
4353	This place is really going to the dogs! that gets my goat!	1.2291	0.03614	179	143	31	5
4354	Are we actually trying to make "Fetch" happen?	1.2291	0.03783	179	145	27	7
4355	I hear the new boss has a powerful drive to hunt and dig.	1.2289	0.03487	166	130	34	2
4356	I TOLD you it had gone to the dogs.	1.2288	0.03879	153	122	27	4
4357	Psst! They're setting up their playdates !	1.2287	0.03338	188	148	37	3
4358	You ever get the sense things are going to the dogs?	1.2287	0.03889	188	155	23	10
4359	It's a dog-eat-dog world in here!	1.2287	0.03422	188	149	35	4
4360	And there was me thinking all the Dog videos on Facebook were to get humans addicted to it	1.2286	0.03838	175	142	26	7
4361	It must be that new promotion offering free bytes.	1.2286	0.03838	175	142	26	7
4362	I told you this place was a code farm!	1.2286	0.03752	175	141	28	6
4363	Mine says, "Play Again?", what does yours say?	1.2284	0.04039	162	132	23	7
4364	did you say it's like a zoo in here ?	1.2284	0.04133	162	133	21	8
4365	He said he doesn't like baths.	1.2284	0.03743	162	129	29	4
4366	Didn't I tell you this place is going to the dogs?	1.2284	0.03640	162	128	31	3
4367	There's something very weird going on here, Fido. I say we go for a walk and chase some tennis balls at lunch to try to figure it out.	1.2284	0.04225	162	134	19	9
4368	One coworker showing up for work in a fur coat okay, but this is ridiculous!	1.2283	0.03713	184	149	28	7
4369	The stash is in the peanut butter jar. They're always the first to hear it open.	1.2283	0.03792	184	150	26	8
4370	This business is dog eat dog. So I'll eat the two on the left, you eat the 40 on the right.	1.2283	0.03792	184	150	26	8
4371	The job ad mentioned an office dog, but this isn't what I expected.	1.2283	0.03632	184	148	30	6
4372	It was bound to happen, what with all the cat videos on the internet.	1.2282	0.04272	149	122	20	7
4373	How do you know if you are chatting with a dog or not?	1.2281	0.03425	171	134	35	2
4374	Fetch?	1.2281	0.04068	171	141	21	9
4375	These questions are rough rough rough.	1.2281	0.03621	171	136	31	4
4376	Between you and me, I think this dogitization-trend is getting out of hand!	1.2281	0.03524	171	135	33	3
4377	Psst! Hey, I'll swap you a milkbone for a liver treat?	1.2281	0.03806	171	138	27	6
4378	If only we worked with party animals.	1.2281	0.03714	171	137	29	5
4379	"I think the dogs have fetched a bit too far.	1.2278	0.04005	158	128	24	6
4380	How do you stop them from wagging their tails?	1.2278	0.03926	180	148	23	9
4381	I told you! The new traders have a "canine" instinct.	1.2278	0.03508	180	143	33	4
4382	I tried to prepare them for the dead cat bounce but they seemed to not care too much...	1.2278	0.03419	180	142	35	3
4383	Wait, how did YOU get the wifi password?	1.2278	0.03681	180	145	29	6
4384	Looks like they weren't all bark about workplace diversity.	1.2277	0.03274	202	160	38	4
4385	I thought we'd order hot dogs for lunch.	1.2277	0.03348	202	161	36	5
4386	Service animals. Their owners felt too emotionally unstable.	1.2275	0.03955	167	136	24	7
4387	Instead of booking kennels, they’re booking timeshares	1.2273	0.03644	176	141	30	5
4388	Well... This is the diffculty of resisting a beurocratic Dogma	1.2273	0.03965	154	124	25	5
4389	So if he’s ‘# TOPDOG’ , we’re seriously UNDERdogs!	1.2273	0.03857	154	123	27	4
4390	It started as a wag, now it's a wave."	1.2273	0.03462	176	139	34	3
4391	I hear they're compensated in high-end kibble.	1.2273	0.03462	176	139	34	3
4392	Stop being such a bitch!	1.2273	0.03678	198	162	27	9
4393	I've applied to a desert island cartoon and a posh party cartoon. Meanwhile, whatever.	1.2273	0.03857	154	123	27	4
4394	They are on Duck Duck Go	1.2273	0.03608	198	161	29	8
4395	This place has gone to the dogs!	1.2270	0.03614	185	149	30	6
4396	It’s nuts. Facebook broke the dog code.	1.2270	0.03723	163	130	29	4
4397	Why would management allow philosophical exemptions for the rabies vaccine?	1.2270	0.04017	163	133	23	7
4398	I thought, "Bring your dog to work day" would be fun. I had no idea they meant we were training them as our replacements!	1.2268	0.03655	194	158	28	8
4399	Their owners could not afford the health insurance premiums.	1.2268	0.03506	194	156	32	6
4400	Bad time for a dog fight between us.	1.2267	0.03786	172	139	27	6
4401	When they said ‘A.I.’ would take over, I always thought they meant ‘artificial’.	1.2267	0.03695	172	138	29	5
4402	All they do is read The Daily Mail!	1.2267	0.03695	172	138	29	5
4403	Maybe the Animal Rights folks were right after all!	1.2267	0.03602	172	137	31	4
4404	Office diversity has gone a step too far.	1.2267	0.03786	172	139	27	6
4405	Human Resources continues to harp on our lack of diversity in the workplace.	1.2267	0.03801	150	119	28	3
4406	This market is going to the dogs.	1.2266	0.03406	203	163	34	6
4407	It's dog-eat-dog out here!	1.2265	0.03746	181	147	27	7
4408	Isn't this taking bring your service animals to work a little far!	1.2265	0.03491	181	144	33	4
4409	"Goddammit I forgot my frisbee."	1.2264	0.03882	159	128	26	5
4410	I wasn't told dogs also work at petco.	1.2264	0.03983	159	129	24	6
4411	Yes,it is a dog eat dog world here.	1.2264	0.03983	159	129	24	6
4412	I know they do it a lot in Silicon Valley, but this microdosing thing isn't really working out for me.	1.2264	0.03778	159	127	28	4
4413	I can even live with hair all over my skirt, but it's the potty breaks that are getting to me.	1.2263	0.03471	190	152	33	5
4414	I think we've gone too far with our encryption coding.	1.2263	0.03390	190	151	35	4
4415	Marge in Human Resources said that this place was going to the dogs, but I never realized...	1.2263	0.03551	190	153	31	6
4416	I've been hounded by suspicions about this new Baskerville app	1.2263	0.04143	137	110	23	4
4417	I think we're barking up the wrong branch here.	1.2262	0.03651	168	134	30	4
4418	Its the.. #bow wow too /All lives matter era we are in, I guess?	1.2262	0.03933	168	137	24	7
4419	So what do you think of dog-participation day?	1.2261	0.03520	199	161	31	7
4420	The town SPCA is trying out a new training system.	1.2261	0.03373	199	159	35	5
4421	Anthropomorphism, personification or whatever you want to call it— they’re not true digital citizens!	1.2260	0.03964	177	146	22	9
4422	Jim,I just caught your "so innocent" Fido looking at those disgusting dog hinny sites from China. Again !	1.2260	0.03626	177	142	30	5
4423	George, this is ridiculous! Equal Employment Opportunity has gone bananas.	1.2260	0.03799	177	144	26	7
4424	Doggone crazy is what it is, doggone crazy!	1.2260	0.03799	177	144	26	7
4425	They bark every time they see a dog bone! It's driving me nuts!!	1.2260	0.03799	177	144	26	7
4426	I know this isn’t PC, but I just feel like they don’t have any business sitting at a PC.	1.2258	0.03515	186	149	32	5
4427	Until they’re adopted the shelter makes them do THIS?	1.2258	0.04047	155	126	23	6
4428	Well, they seem divided. One half is hearing Yanny, and the other is hearing Laurel!	1.2258	0.03832	186	153	24	9
4429	Someone knows I'm not a dog.	1.2258	0.03942	155	125	25	5
4430	Our work is going to the dogs!	1.2256	0.03710	195	160	26	9
4431	I don't get it. What is it with you boys and trees?	1.2256	0.03600	164	130	31	3
4432	A strong dog lobby, I guess.	1.2256	0.03994	164	134	23	7
4433	Look around, there are dogs on computers.	1.2256	0.03803	164	132	27	5
4434	Is sexual discrimination against dogs illegal. I am thinking of bringing in my dog that is in heat to distract the coder dogs.	1.2254	0.03941	173	142	23	8
4435	I'd rather our jobs be taken by robots.	1.2253	0.03887	182	150	23	9
4436	Well, it beats smelling each others' assholes.	1.2253	0.03964	182	151	21	10
4437	This place really IS for the dogs.	1.2253	0.03561	182	146	31	5
4438	All they keep saying is “Are we not men”.	1.2253	0.03727	182	148	27	7
4439	Hey! Don't sweat the competition. Just remember it's a DOG eat's DOG world.	1.2252	0.04006	151	122	24	5
4440	I get the anonymity of the web...but there is kibble everywhere!"	1.2251	0.03687	191	156	27	8
4441	BARKshire Hathaway" news to me!!	1.2251	0.03611	191	155	29	7
4442	You're the only human one here to ask.	1.2250	0.03650	160	127	30	3
4443	Do you know what Uahoo means in doggy language?	1.2250	0.03757	160	128	28	4
4444	We are an equal opportunity employer.	1.2249	0.03821	169	137	26	6
4445	Seriously Nate? I think you’ve taken the ‘Dog is my Co-Pilot’ thing a bit too far!	1.2249	0.03912	169	138	24	7
4446	They work us like some sort of animal around here.	1.2247	0.03695	178	144	28	6
4447	This one just did his business right next to me!	1.2247	0.03519	178	142	32	4
4448	Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!	1.2247	0.03427	178	141	34	3
4449	I didn’t kick you. The ass next to me kicked you.	1.2246	0.03888	187	155	22	10
4450	Eddie, I'm sorry, I forgot your leash.	1.2246	0.03580	187	151	30	6
4451	When they said humans would be eventually be taken out of call centers I thought they were talking about robots or artificial intelligence or something like that	1.2246	0.03659	187	152	28	7
4452	You have dog breath.	1.2246	0.03498	187	150	32	5
4453	It's a pack of lies. Are you going to be the dog whistleblower	1.2246	0.03580	187	151	30	6
4454	OMG, this place is going to the d-o-g-s!	1.2245	0.03474	196	158	32	6
4455	This company is really going to the dogs!	1.2245	0.03398	196	157	34	5
4456	If management intends to get this dog and pony show off the ground, our future here is dim.	1.2241	0.03657	174	140	29	5
4457	There’s always free WiFi during the dog days of August.	1.2241	0.03747	174	141	27	6
4458	"They just started this new Bark News Network!"	1.2241	0.03657	174	140	29	5
4459	I haven't made a sale either. Did you taste the treat sample ... ugh.	1.2241	0.03657	174	140	29	5
4460	Things around here have gone to the dogs while you've been away.	1.2241	0.03834	174	142	25	7
4461	How do you handle the accent bit? Apparently I'm not woofish enough.	1.2241	0.03657	174	140	29	5
4462	On the Internet, everyone thinks you're a dog	1.2241	0.03747	174	141	27	6
4463	I did not get a marketing degree to stream cat videos with these tramps.	1.2241	0.03747	174	141	27	6
4464	I said...even my dog collects lower wages for the same work!	1.2240	0.03627	183	148	29	6
4465	Where are the bulls and bears?	1.2240	0.03867	183	151	23	9
4466	They always writing doggerels on company time!	1.2240	0.03709	183	149	27	7
4467	I'm trying to text my Mother and the President keeps texting back.	1.2240	0.03886	192	160	21	11
4468	It's a living!	1.2240	0.03517	192	155	31	6
4469	Thanks, Obama!	1.2240	0.03743	192	158	25	9
4470	This company is going to the dogs!	1.2237	0.04195	152	125	20	7
4471	Since instagram, media management is becoming much harder for us non-puppies'	1.2237	0.03871	152	122	26	4
4472	Who knew that after one generation of "Office Dogs", it would develop into this?	1.2237	0.04090	152	124	22	6
4473	Different species are now included in the firm’s hiring diversity practices	1.2236	0.03938	161	131	24	6
4474	Sure, they can code ... but their do-loops stink.	1.2236	0.03838	161	130	26	5
4475	Can you hear anything through these headphones?	1.2236	0.03938	161	131	24	6
4476	He said "are you even FROM this Kingdom because I can't understand a word you're saying"	1.2236	0.03736	161	129	28	4
4477	They seem pet-ty, no?	1.2236	0.03630	161	128	30	3
4478	It's a dog eat dog industry	1.2235	0.03708	170	137	28	5
4479	I work like a dog and get no pat on the back!	1.2235	0.03515	170	135	32	3
4480	Have you noticed this office is full of dogs?	1.2235	0.03590	179	144	30	5
4481	Being hounded to death is my paws for alarm!	1.2235	0.03761	179	146	26	7
4482	You know, I don't mind the fur allover the place, I don't mind the slurping of the water, and I don't even mind the occasional bark but GEEZZZ, that constant crunching on the kibble...	1.2229	0.03562	166	132	31	3
4483	While we are still upright, I suggest we quickly walk away!	1.2229	0.03951	166	136	23	7
4484	Next they’re going to hire a python engineer!	1.2229	0.03900	175	144	23	8
4485	Are they really American?	1.2228	0.03770	184	151	25	8
4486	But I paid to rent a work space, not a doggie day care.	1.2228	0.03691	184	150	27	7
4487	Don’t you think they are carrying dog training a bit too far ?	1.2228	0.03423	193	155	33	5
4488	I bet they offer an aggressive retirement plan	1.2222	0.03383	189	151	34	4
4489	Why do you keep calling me? I said I'm not interested.	1.2222	0.03742	180	147	26	7
4490	This seems to be a grrrr-ing test. I think the Turing test is in the other room.	1.2222	0.03484	180	144	32	4
4491	If we go outside we’ll have to participate in the rat race.	1.2222	0.04129	171	143	18	10
4492	dog porn's just humping but, jesus, they love it	1.2222	0.03776	189	156	24	9
4493	I still smell you.	1.2222	0.03572	180	145	30	5
4494	We're investing in out of the box thinkers.	1.2222	0.03689	171	138	28	5
4495	How do you tell the alpha dog he sounds like the Jetsons dog Astro	1.2222	0.03916	162	132	24	6
4496	Literally nobody here speaks an even remotely human language.	1.2222	0.03442	198	160	32	6
4497	I'm all for diversity, but can we meet somewhere else... just the two of us?	1.2222	0.03817	162	131	26	5
4498	Some of them are like others who like to act tough online, all bark but no bite!	1.2222	0.03594	171	137	30	4
4499	I never thought I'd see this place go to the goats.	1.2222	0.04045	171	142	20	9
4500	Is it just me? or is there some weird role reversal going on here?	1.2217	0.03596	203	167	27	9
4501	Psst,I told you this company is going to the dogs.	1.2216	0.03635	194	159	27	8
4502	I told you that we were in the wrong computer lab!	1.2216	0.03424	185	148	33	4
4503	Let's split. This place is going to the dogs.	1.2216	0.03529	176	141	31	4
4504	Hey, at least this job keeps a woof over our heads.	1.2216	0.03962	176	146	21	9
4505	They hired me because everyone knows who you are.	1.2216	0.03795	176	144	25	7
4506	They can’t have chocolate in their cookies.”	1.2216	0.03708	176	143	27	6
4507	Don't worry, they won't replaceus. They only handle distress calls from pets.	1.2216	0.03620	176	142	29	5
4508	I am all for diversity, but everyone knows dogs can't see in 2D	1.2216	0.03836	167	136	25	6
4509	They’re serving the kabucha now in BOWLS!	1.2216	0.03741	167	135	27	5
4510	Have you believe the interns these days? They’re working them like dogs.	1.2215	0.03875	158	128	25	5
4511	I thought we were going to Trump Inc!" "We did!	1.2215	0.04364	158	133	15	10
4512	It's a great distraction for their restlessness but what do we do about their incessant whining?	1.2215	0.03978	158	129	23	6
4513	It pooped. Again.	1.2211	0.03846	199	167	20	12
4514	What do we do if they don’t want The Animal Channel?	1.2211	0.03607	190	155	28	7
4515	I'd say "telemarketing has gone to the dogs", but that happened decades ago.	1.2210	0.03805	181	149	24	8
4516	They are concerned about the robots too.	1.2210	0.03467	181	145	32	4
4517	They have no idea what they're doing!	1.2209	0.03576	172	138	30	4
4518	Can you not eat at the desk your lunch smells like dog food... oh I see what just happened.	1.2209	0.03576	172	138	30	4
4519	These interns are barking up the wrong tree.	1.2209	0.03761	172	140	26	6
4520	I said, you can't expect to understand their chat."	1.2208	0.03936	154	125	24	5
4521	How do you turn this damn thing off?	1.2207	0.04091	145	118	22	5
4522	I know they're intelligent, but the library has a policy on too much screen time. Perhaps they could learn to play an instrument.	1.2205	0.03544	195	159	29	7
4523	How many times have I told you never to call me at work	1.2205	0.03618	195	160	27	8
4524	AI has turned this place into a zoo!	1.2203	0.03602	177	143	29	5
4525	I don''t know who all these S.O.B.'s are, but I'm tired of that one wanting me to play fetch with him.	1.2203	0.03776	177	145	25	7
4526	I told you the country has gone to the dogs.	1.2203	0.03690	177	144	27	6
4527	What's wrong, Frank? Do you feel no longer at home in the White House phone room?	1.2202	0.03908	168	138	23	7
4528	I'm positive now that my Tech job won't last more than a few walks around the block.	1.2201	0.03748	159	128	27	4
4529	This is so unfair to cat lovers.	1.2201	0.03748	159	128	27	4
4530	Fine, fine, no one knows that they're dogs. But how long do they expect us to keep working for kibble?	1.2200	0.04217	150	124	19	7
4531	I heard they could only get a dog to do this type of work.	1.2199	0.03512	191	155	30	6
4532	And he's hogging all the kibble.	1.2199	0.03512	191	155	30	6
4533	No words! Just kibbles and bits!	1.2199	0.03352	191	153	34	4
4534	How can they program with paws?	1.2199	0.03590	191	156	28	7
4535	I DON’T KNOW “	1.2198	0.03865	182	151	22	9
4536	Yes, it's a bit smelly, but we don't have to worry about robots taking our jobs.	1.2197	0.03741	173	141	26	6
4537	No wonder there's been a spike in cat suicides. They should be working the canine crisis center!	1.2197	0.03741	173	141	26	6
4538	I don’t know how to talk to people.	1.2197	0.03650	173	140	28	5
4539	The bring your kids to work program should have been expanded long ago.	1.2196	0.03463	214	176	29	9
4540	They really opened up the skills upgrade training program to everyone, hey?	1.2195	0.03775	164	133	26	5
4541	They’ve been micro dosing them with psilocybin and they’re doing more creative work than us!	1.2195	0.03355	164	129	34	1
4542	I heard that we make 80 cents to the purebred's dollar... speciesism in the workplace in 2019?"	1.2195	0.03873	164	134	24	6
4543	I thought you were talking metaphorically when you said the business was going to the dogs!	1.2194	0.03913	155	126	24	5
4544	My sales numbers were great before we started selling dog food.	1.2194	0.03913	155	126	24	5
4545	I thought you got to play with the dogs here, not diss cats in chatrooms.	1.2193	0.03557	187	152	29	6
4546	I can't get a dog-gone thing done!	1.2191	0.03756	178	146	25	7
4547	I told you those online posts originated from a bunch of animals!	1.2191	0.03494	178	143	31	4
4548	It's true! This place is going to the dogs.	1.2189	0.03795	169	138	25	6
4549	I threw the ball so they would chase after it and we could escape. They must be screen addicts - never went outside to play ball.	1.2189	0.03506	169	135	31	3
4550	I guess no one dresses up for Halloween in this office.	1.2189	0.03795	169	138	25	6
4551	If we can learn why a pack of dogs attack an animal that is old, injured, or sick, we can gain insight into the Trump rally phenomenon	1.2189	0.03887	169	139	23	7
4552	I know it's a dog-friendly internet cafe, but this is ridiculous!	1.2188	0.04031	160	132	21	7
4553	That kibble looks really good.	1.2188	0.03727	160	129	27	4
4554	You are talking to me, why?	1.2188	0.03573	192	157	28	7
4555	They are just checking their pee-mail	1.2186	0.03604	183	149	28	6
4556	This place smelled a lot better before #mootoo.	1.2184	0.03981	174	145	20	9
4557	The monkey typewriter theorem has really gone to the dogs.	1.2184	0.03722	174	142	26	6
4558	What do you see?	1.2184	0.03722	174	142	26	6
4559	The "Bring your pet to work" day sounded like a good idea your dog has been drooling all over his keyboard and the guy next to me lost five customer so far today.	1.2184	0.03632	174	141	28	5
4560	I know a good place we can go for a bowl of kibbles.	1.2184	0.03632	174	141	28	5
4561	So dogs get equal work rights now, yet I'm still supposed to pay for the "Tampon Tax"?!	1.2183	0.03437	197	160	31	6
4562	This library has gone to the dogs.	1.2183	0.03512	197	161	29	7
4563	I thought you were figurative talking when you said we would work as a dog	1.2179	0.03737	179	147	25	7
4564	Forget about IQ, it's about team work.	1.2179	0.03476	179	144	31	4
4565	We're never gonna make quota, Jim. This 'scent' app just isn't working for me.	1.2176	0.03586	170	137	29	4
4566	Apparently, Millennials really love dogs in the work place."	1.2176	0.03682	170	138	27	5
4567	Unlike what Trump may think, we're all animals.	1.2176	0.03866	170	140	23	7
4568	Like I keep saying: the Internet sure has gone to the dogs!	1.2176	0.03401	193	156	32	5
4569	Aren't our dog whistles simply rhetorical devices!	1.2174	0.04104	161	134	19	8
4570	I’m wondering if my support dog needs his own support dog.	1.2174	0.03600	161	129	29	3
4571	How can we be expected to compete with such dogged co-workers?	1.2174	0.03748	184	152	24	8
4572	I answered their ad on the internet, they asked me a couple of questions, and then PoochBook said I was hired.	1.2174	0.03502	184	149	30	5
4573	The only way they can play with the kids now is by getting on Fortnite.”	1.2174	0.04104	161	134	19	8
4574	I don’t know how these bitches got into the library.	1.2174	0.03417	184	148	32	4
4575	Is this company going to the dogs or what?	1.2174	0.03397	207	169	31	7
4576	Doggoneit, I forgot my password. Think it is "Arf-arf something" ?	1.2171	0.03521	175	141	30	4
4577	I couldn't woof less about your paranoid conspiracy theories!	1.2171	0.03613	175	142	28	5
4578	(Psst! Hey, Bob - they’re ANIMALS!)	1.2169	0.03734	166	135	26	5
4579	The one next to me has a slight hearing problem.	1.2169	0.03925	166	137	22	7
4580	This test of our Phetch app is not going well.	1.2169	0.03734	166	135	26	5
4581	Are you sure this is the right internet media room?	1.2167	0.03548	180	146	29	5
4582	These Mutt-llenials, am I right?	1.2167	0.03459	180	145	31	4
4583	I could have been a barista!	1.2167	0.03548	180	146	29	5
4584	Evidently they were cleared by Security.	1.2166	0.03761	157	127	26	4
4585	You can't keep blaming it on the dogs.	1.2165	0.03539	194	159	28	7
4586	This job is really going to the dogs!!!	1.2165	0.03614	194	160	26	8
4587	I told you this place is for the dogs.	1.2164	0.03846	171	141	23	7
4588	Did you try #enoughcatvideos or thetruthaboutcats.com?	1.2164	0.03567	171	138	29	4
4589	They decided we're not marketing our animal shelters appropriately so they're rewriting our marketing materials.	1.2162	0.04128	148	122	20	6
4590	Did you hear the rumor? A Poodle and a Pug are to replace us tomorrow!	1.2162	0.03650	185	152	26	7
4591	I just got a call from somebody who said, "Woofety Meow!"	1.2162	0.03485	185	150	30	5
4592	It’s not exact what I expected when I signed up for a zoology lab course.	1.2162	0.03569	185	151	28	6
4593	Quit blaming your farts on me. I know it’s you.	1.2162	0.03569	185	151	28	6
4594	I thought it was Data Organization and Graphics Lab.	1.2162	0.03650	185	152	26	7
4595	All those cat videos are causing the dog world to strike back.	1.2160	0.03686	162	131	27	4
4596	How do you spell "woof"?	1.2160	0.03889	162	133	23	6
4597	Do you know of a happy hour that allows pets?	1.2159	0.03409	176	141	32	3
4598	I hate these new PetSmart stores.	1.2159	0.03771	176	145	24	7
4599	Can you believe these new guys?" "Damn millennials.	1.2159	0.03856	176	146	22	8
4600	Megan in corporate told me our new CEO is a real dog!	1.2159	0.03684	176	144	26	6
4601	You didn't tell me they were ALL dogs!	1.2159	0.03409	176	141	32	3
4602	Never mind his lack of pants, I find his pants distracting.	1.2158	0.03585	190	156	27	7
4603	Jerry smells like wet dog today	1.2158	0.03344	190	153	33	4
4604	I know this is a computer lab, but this is ridiculous!	1.2157	0.03423	204	167	30	7
4605	This is a really bitchy work environment.	1.2156	0.03810	167	137	24	6
4606	The internet has viruses and they are going to give it parasites too.	1.2156	0.03714	167	136	26	5
4607	Office bitching.	1.2156	0.03714	167	136	26	5
4608	I searched every branch. I can't believe there are absolutely no copies of Animal Farm available in the entire system.	1.2156	0.03616	167	135	28	4
4609	NO ONE finds bugs like the Big Dog.	1.2156	0.03810	167	137	24	6
4610	Well, dogs obviously ARE smarter than us!	1.2156	0.03714	167	136	26	5
4611	Just thought we were gonna hire some hackers not barkers!!!!!	1.2155	0.03700	181	149	25	7
4612	There's been an uptick in dog suicides.	1.2155	0.03700	181	149	25	7
4613	Doesn't anyone play 'fetch' anymore?	1.2155	0.03442	181	146	31	4
4614	What do you call a dog with a surround system?" "A sub-woofer!" "What does a dog say before eating?" "Bone Appetite!" "What kind of dog does Dracula have?" "A bloodhound!" "Why did the hounds tweet the White House?" "To make both ends meet...	1.2154	0.03670	195	162	24	9
4615	No more immigrants, but he's still bringing in 'furriners'.	1.2153	0.03567	209	174	25	10
4616	And I'm like, "Enough coffee, Yellow Fang."	1.2152	0.03630	158	127	28	3
4617	The Petsmart call-in center has gone to the dogs!	1.2152	0.03517	158	126	30	2
4618	Actually, not everyone on the internet is a dog.	1.2152	0.03739	158	128	26	4
4619	How did we get here?! I thought Animal Planet was not a real place.	1.2152	0.03630	158	127	28	3
4620	These chat sessions are going to the dogs.	1.2151	0.03643	172	140	27	5
4621	I know they keep barking at the customers but they haven't had their morning coffee.	1.2151	0.03352	172	137	33	2
4622	Do you ever get the feeling the internet is going to the dogs?	1.2151	0.03452	172	138	31	3
4623	Every single breed thinks they're texting English !!	1.2151	0.03384	186	150	32	4
4624	Having dogs in the office is getting a little out of control, don't you think?	1.2150	0.03464	200	164	29	7
4625	We're being replaced by a cow and a pig.	1.2147	0.03453	163	130	31	2
4626	I think Facebook is going to the dogs.	1.2147	0.03392	177	142	32	3
4627	He keeps sending me follow requests from his SECOND Instagram account, the one he set up for his owner.	1.2147	0.03576	177	144	28	5
4628	Bring your pet day? It's just not working out!	1.2147	0.03485	177	143	30	4
4629	Socialism	1.2147	0.03485	177	143	30	4
4630	None of these dudes are 'On Leash'.	1.2147	0.03576	177	144	28	5
4631	They are just letting anyone work here aren't they!?	1.2147	0.03919	177	148	20	9
4632	Our coworkers are such dogs	1.2147	0.03392	177	142	32	3
4633	The free walks, tennis balls and desk-side kibble aren't perks...they're distractions.	1.2143	0.03425	182	147	31	4
4634	They literally look at humans ALL day!	1.2143	0.03763	182	151	23	8
4635	!!! I've had with them smelling my hair every time they walk by. How weird is that?	1.2143	0.03513	182	148	29	5
4636	This is another one who wants to woof woof!	1.2143	0.03513	182	148	29	5
4637	What's good, dawg?	1.2143	0.03596	168	136	28	4
4638	The "dog days" of trading haven't arrived yet	1.2143	0.03882	168	139	22	7
4639	It's the new pet equity initiative.	1.2143	0.03596	168	136	28	4
4640	dog porn's just humping, but i love it	1.2143	0.03425	182	147	31	4
4641	These dogs are beating us! We'll never get into an ivy league college without cheating.	1.2139	0.03534	187	153	28	6
4642	Don't you get it, it's a rigged dog show. These dogs are here to make sure the Russian Wolfhound wins!	1.2139	0.03693	187	155	24	8
4643	Yeah, it’s no WeWork. But you can’t beat the unlimited kibble at WeBark.	1.2139	0.03624	173	141	27	5
4644	I can't tell if he is saying "woof, woof, woof" or "work, work, work"	1.2139	0.03624	173	141	27	5
4645	I thought she said 'free browser test'. Maybe it was 'three Bowsers test' "?!?!?	1.2139	0.03716	173	142	25	6
4646	Who let the dogs in, woof woof woof.	1.2139	0.03624	173	141	27	5
4647	They are the temp employees from the "Woofers and Tweeters" department	1.2138	0.03926	159	131	22	6
4648	I can't understand him, he keeps MUTTering!	1.2135	0.03394	192	156	31	5
4649	It will be more collaborative," they said. It feels more like being in a kennel to me	1.2135	0.03375	178	143	32	3
4650	it's like they have the attention span of a dog!"	1.2135	0.03816	178	148	22	8
4651	Trump said that all women are dogs, so I and my dogs are writing in protest.	1.2135	0.03375	178	143	32	3
4652	Nobody knows they're dogs - or Russian hackers	1.2135	0.03732	178	147	24	7
4653	Help - my EIEIO's are all used up!	1.2134	0.03646	164	133	27	4
4654	I don't know about you, Jerry, but I bet these guys are in it only for the big pensions...	1.2132	0.03962	136	110	23	3
4655	Turns out MOST of it IS dogs!	1.2131	0.03495	183	149	29	5
4656	We've got to do something quick, cuz this company is going to the dogs!	1.2131	0.03408	183	148	31	4
4657	Bitchin' interns, amirite?	1.2131	0.03495	183	149	29	5
4658	Friend? More like "Man's Best Influencer."	1.2130	0.03268	169	134	34	1
4659	No, he's a Google doodle/Computer Lab/Card Cattle dog mix. Do you have a P-slip or not?	1.2130	0.03951	169	141	20	8
4660	Diversity Committee has done it this time. This it THE most radical idea this company has implemented!	1.2130	0.03477	169	136	30	3
4661	Smell messaging, it's drawn a new breed of user.	1.2130	0.03951	169	141	20	8
4662	Honestly, you can't trust any of them. They're all a bunch of dogs.	1.2130	0.03674	169	138	26	5
4663	These slave drivers expect us to work like dogs.	1.2129	0.03660	155	125	27	3
4664	I'm dropping out of Tinder.	1.2128	0.03675	188	156	24	8
4665	This is some dog and pony show!	1.2128	0.03517	188	154	28	6
4666	AND they vest in like nine months!	1.2128	0.03177	188	150	36	2
4667	But we have no "tail" to tell'	1.2128	0.04365	141	118	16	7
4668	I can't believe they didn't recognize my new haircut?!	1.2126	0.03606	174	142	27	5
4669	It's a dog eat human environment.	1.2126	0.03416	174	140	31	3
4670	Ssshh...it's Taco Tuesday in the break room.	1.2126	0.03606	174	142	27	5
4671	Does 'Bow-WOW' mean they are pleasently suprised?	1.2125	0.03904	160	132	22	6
4672	He wants to talk to a Martian. Do we have one on staff yet?	1.2125	0.03802	160	131	24	5
4673	Our communications are important too...	1.2123	0.03450	179	145	30	4
4674	I didn't know they were hiring new social media managers	1.2123	0.03540	179	146	28	5
4675	I'm worried Fido is outsourcing...	1.2121	0.03726	165	135	25	5
4676	I thought the expression "It's a dog eat dog world" was, well, just a cliché	1.2121	0.03626	165	134	27	4
4677	You are more annoying than a dog	1.2121	0.03824	165	136	23	6
4678	The AI dog-machine interface isn't doing well distinguishing 'woof' from 'wooof'.	1.2121	0.03824	165	136	23	6
4679	Arf! Arf! Ruff.	1.2120	0.03645	184	152	25	7
4680	Which one is Instructor Howl?	1.2119	0.03943	151	124	22	5
4681	I like equality but not this much	1.2118	0.03459	170	137	30	3
4682	In my wildest dreams I could never have imagined that the Internet would literally go to the dogs!	1.2118	0.03749	170	140	24	6
4683	This is what happens when you let in the 'Border Collies'.	1.2116	0.03658	189	157	24	8
4684	I'm so over internet dating. The last one was a real dog!	1.2114	0.03766	175	145	23	7
4685	What, you never heard of dog days!	1.2114	0.03587	175	143	27	5
4686	Unpaid vacation days is bad - but the washrooms are worse”	1.2113	0.03441	194	159	29	6
4687	These new guys really don't understand how to work in an office.	1.2113	0.03977	142	116	22	4
4688	It’s all dog food ads!	1.2112	0.03345	161	128	32	1
4689	The open office concept was bad enough, but then the company went to the dogs.	1.2111	0.03522	180	147	28	5
4690	Like I said, social media has gone to the dogs.	1.2111	0.03609	180	148	26	6
4691	I heard they really know how to be ruff with our most difficult customers.	1.2109	0.03767	147	119	25	3
4692	The job description mentioned eating your own dog food, but this is ridiculous.	1.2108	0.03706	166	136	25	5
4693	Doggone it, Rex. When I said sit, i didn't mean at the computer.	1.2108	0.03398	166	133	31	2
4694	How come we can't play on-line poker too?	1.2108	0.03398	166	133	31	2
4695	This industry is really going to the dogs.	1.2108	0.03706	166	136	25	5
4696	And what exactly do you mean by "those dogs"?	1.2105	0.03820	171	142	22	7
4697	You'd think that Dogbook could feed us more than free kibbles to keep us here 14 hours a day.	1.2105	0.03235	190	153	34	3
4698	It's the latest from corporate; something like 'fido-calling.'	1.2105	0.03635	171	140	26	5
4699	We're working too much overtime. My team is dog tired!	1.2105	0.03320	190	154	32	4
4700	Hey creep, what do you think you're doing making those disgusting panting noises?	1.2102	0.03658	176	145	25	6
4701	I can’t hear a dog-gone thing!	1.2102	0.03569	176	144	27	5
4702	Do you think the new interns have ODed on kibble?	1.2102	0.03284	176	141	33	2
4703	Do you know the translation for Woof Bark Woof?	1.2102	0.04044	157	131	19	7
4704	I can’t believe that dog is going to lead the ‘anti bullying of cats’ campaign!	1.2102	0.03837	157	129	23	5
4705	Tom saw their owners chasing frisbees on the beach.	1.2099	0.03676	181	150	24	7
4706	This therapy dog app may be a step to far	1.2099	0.03325	181	146	32	3
4707	Woof, Arff, Bark, Bark?	1.2099	0.03325	181	146	32	3
4708	I feel like I’m working with a bunch of dogs, don’t you?	1.2099	0.03758	181	151	22	8
4709	Our co-workers, are animals!!!	1.2099	0.03591	181	149	26	6
4710	Stephen West: "I'm so tired of working like a dog!"	1.2099	0.03676	181	150	24	7
4711	I mean, what the hell, we don't need doors or dividers anymore, just a patch of astroturf and hydrant and we're good? I don't think so. I might as well pee right here on your leg.	1.2099	0.03676	181	150	24	7
4712	Our productivity is through the Ruff	1.2097	0.03444	186	152	29	5
4713	I knew that they were trying to get cheaper help, but this is ridiculous...I mean both dogs spent two hours just smelling each other during their break and the big one spent about an hour just panting and drooling all over his mouse!	1.2097	0.03689	186	155	23	8
4714	I think it's about time we insure our thumbs.	1.2097	0.03528	186	153	27	6
4715	You think they can take us in doubles ping pong?	1.2096	0.03686	167	137	25	5
4716	I'm suffering from bark pain.	1.2096	0.03485	167	135	29	3
4717	Use your beast voice.	1.2096	0.03485	167	135	29	3
4718	With speaker phones, you never know who is going to answer a robo call, just be ready to transfer the call to one of our other operators.	1.2096	0.03783	167	138	23	6
4719	Isn't send-your-pet-to-work day next week?	1.2093	0.03616	172	141	26	5
4720	I hope they're not misrepresenting who they are.	1.2093	0.03709	172	142	24	6
4721	One more day like this, and we will all be eating dogfood.	1.2093	0.03616	172	141	26	5
4722	He says they're getting out of Pounds.	1.2092	0.03332	196	160	31	5
4723	I've got this sudden, inexplicable urge for a hot dog.	1.2092	0.04111	153	128	18	7
4724	I'm in here until 5am last night but the new guys take a seat when they're asked and management says they're the 'good girls'!	1.2090	0.03365	177	143	31	3
4725	It's impawsible to get any work done around here!	1.2090	0.03640	177	146	25	6
4726	No, you're definitely not "shepherding the phones here."	1.2090	0.03459	177	144	29	4
4727	C'mon, Jake, let's go. It's Dogma!	1.2090	0.03550	177	145	27	5
4728	They walked a memo over to the boss complaining how we were culturally appropriating pet insurance.	1.2089	0.03919	158	131	21	6
4729	You're not really walking them though, are you? I think you're shirking your responsibilities as a dog walker.	1.2089	0.04021	158	132	19	7
4730	Rules are rules. “No eating or playing Fetch” at computer stations.	1.2088	0.03487	182	149	28	5
4731	Did ya hear their new dating site is getting alotta wags!?	1.2086	0.03309	163	130	32	1
4732	John,it is hard to find a human to date!	1.2083	0.03568	168	137	27	4
4733	I don't think they have to go through HR	1.2083	0.03568	168	137	27	4
4734	This is a dog gone conundrum.	1.2081	0.03237	197	160	33	4
4735	is this the Twilight Zone?	1.2081	0.03316	197	161	31	5
4736	So I say, that's no bone--that's my boyfriend	1.2081	0.03503	173	141	28	4
4737	I knew it was bring your owner to work day, but forgot that it’s also dress-down Friday.	1.2079	0.03532	178	146	27	5
4738	They call it bow-wowsing the Web.	1.2079	0.03792	178	149	21	8
4739	This library branch has gone to the dogs	1.2079	0.03708	178	148	23	7
4740	Is the Puppy Bowl on tonight?	1.2078	0.03529	154	124	28	2
4741	The dogs are gonna get the Cadillac and the free set of steak knives, wheres that ball?	1.2078	0.03873	154	127	22	5
4742	If just ONE cat appears on the monitors, we're ruined.	1.2078	0.03873	154	127	22	5
4743	They always wag their tails and bark when the Team Lead comes through but none them are Apple Certified yet	1.2075	0.03897	159	132	21	6
4744	Bark up, not start up, you idiot!	1.2074	0.03494	188	155	27	6
4745	I don't believe my eyes; shocking it's so pretentious.	1.2074	0.03494	188	155	27	6
4746	Do you mind me asking how much you get paid to sit here like this?	1.2074	0.03240	188	152	33	3
4747	When you get a complainer, just fetch the supervisor.	1.2074	0.03240	188	152	33	3
4748	Where's Lassie?	1.2074	0.03494	188	155	27	6
4749	You said we were going to a computer lab. This is a mut.	1.2074	0.03653	188	157	23	8
4750	They They want to know if I'm a robot!	1.2071	0.03835	169	141	21	7
4751	I'm telling you, people aren't as safe from automation as they think.	1.2071	0.03549	169	138	27	4
4752	These new-fangled open offices smell like a kennel.	1.2069	0.03579	174	143	26	5
4753	Can you believe this company moved from a cube farm to the animal farm?	1.2067	0.03424	179	146	29	4
4754	doggone it, there goes our lead!	1.2065	0.03453	184	151	28	5
4755	It's a troll farm -- what did you expect?	1.2065	0.02992	184	146	38	0
4756	They are looking for their leash-holders!”	1.2065	0.03090	184	147	36	1
4757	They all saw than damn New Yorker cartoon.	1.2063	0.03875	160	133	21	6
4758	I said Facebook not Facebark!	1.2060	0.03437	199	165	27	7
4759	As far as I can see, you're just another animal.	1.2060	0.03286	199	163	31	5
4760	Apparently, your dog is my online lecturer this morning.	1.2060	0.03437	199	165	27	7
4761	I thought I could get into vet school on my own, but now I’m not so sure.	1.2059	0.03627	170	140	25	5
4762	Yeah, right. Not my idea of speed dating either. You actually talk! Novel idea.	1.2059	0.03814	170	142	21	7
4763	They said they were sending a monkey.	1.2057	0.03560	175	144	26	5
4764	Hey, Dawg."	1.2057	0.03560	175	144	26	5
4765	I forged a pedigree for this internship before I knew they paid us in pizzle sticks and scritches. At least I can put it on my CV.	1.2057	0.03560	175	144	26	5
4766	So, how did you get fetched into this?	1.2056	0.03754	180	151	21	8
4767	...And you couldn't find ANY other job?	1.2056	0.03219	180	145	33	2
4768	I can't find my stress ball	1.2053	0.04022	151	126	19	6
4769	Work like a dog	1.2053	0.03379	190	156	29	5
4770	You are saying he's a dog? His online dating profile seems human enough.	1.2053	0.03460	190	157	27	6
4771	I wonder if they being paid more than us.	1.2053	0.03618	190	159	23	8
4772	What’s up?”I was taking Spanish!”I was talking French!” I didn’t sign up for Cocker Spaniel!	1.2051	0.03402	195	161	28	6
4773	Call me a rotten team player, but I'm tired of fixing their spaghetti code.	1.2050	0.03853	161	134	21	6
4774	I'm quitting if the menu is all vegan again.	1.2048	0.03366	166	134	30	2
4775	Does the frisbee fetch session come after this?	1.2048	0.03577	166	136	26	4
4776	Look. I'm dog tired today. Woof. Can we have dinner after? 9? K. 9 o'clock. K. 9. Thanks. You're a good boy.	1.2048	0.03964	166	140	18	8
4777	Why do we have to sit on the end?	1.2047	0.03608	171	141	25	5
4778	At lest they keep to themselves,	1.2047	0.03702	171	142	23	6
4779	It is a new breed of dogs, trained to chase trolls instead of dogs	1.2047	0.03608	171	141	25	5
4780	The roof needs to be bark and the siding ruff. What don't you get?	1.2045	0.03542	176	145	26	5
4781	I’m more upset that the men and women are paid the same. Dogs get equal pay but humans don’t?!	1.2045	0.03807	176	148	20	8
4782	I truly believe this job is going to the dogs.	1.2045	0.03542	176	145	26	5
4783	Where again, sorry, are the chew treats and water bowl?	1.2045	0.03449	176	144	28	4
4784	I said I learned AI as a happy member of D.O.G...the "digital output generation." How did you get here?	1.2045	0.03449	176	144	28	4
4785	Last count, we're at 17 bathrooms.	1.2044	0.03479	181	149	27	5
4786	Pss, Frank this internet job has gone to the dogs!!	1.2044	0.03566	181	150	25	6
4787	But he handed me a poopie bag! We're next	1.2042	0.03444	191	158	27	6
4788	I don't feel as though this is an evolving workplace.	1.2042	0.03363	191	157	29	5
4789	What dialect is this?	1.2041	0.04089	147	123	18	6
4790	Rottie always takes the biggest bytes.	1.2041	0.03387	196	162	28	6
4791	We're being replaced with seeing eye dogs!	1.2038	0.03806	157	130	22	5
4792	I want to work here, but I'm allergic to dogs.	1.2038	0.03806	157	130	22	5
4793	It's a dog optimize dog world.	1.2036	0.03657	167	138	24	5
4794	I keep telling you Barry, dog surfing is the new dog walking service.	1.2036	0.03557	167	137	26	4
4795	Is there a hashtag for hashtag?	1.2036	0.03755	167	139	22	6
4796	This goes way beyond dog eat dog...!	1.2036	0.03557	167	137	26	4
4797	Do they know they have 'dog smell'?	1.2036	0.03557	167	137	26	4
4798	He's glued to the bark side of the net.	1.2035	0.03493	172	141	27	4
4799	Can you believe the hours here? They work us like animals.	1.2035	0.03493	172	141	27	4
4800	You know when I said this place was going to the dogs ? Well ... look what the cat dragged in!	1.2035	0.03682	172	143	23	6
4801	I am tired of chasing bones just to fit in here.	1.2034	0.03336	177	144	30	3
4802	Forgive me for breaking the fourth wall here, Paul, but I told you that 'Animal Farm' wouldn't translate well to the context of today's information economy.	1.2034	0.03524	177	146	26	5
4803	when they said they didn't discriminate I thought they meant only people not animals as well.	1.2033	0.03462	182	150	27	5
4804	You do realize their monitors and headphones aren't hooked up. What am I supposed to do, a lie like a dog?	1.2032	0.03568	187	156	24	7
4805	Someone drank my bone broth but I can't figure out who	1.2032	0.03317	187	153	30	4
4806	The worst part about being study hall monitor? Having to clean up their crap.	1.2031	0.03583	192	161	23	8
4807	Let's just ignore this all-paws meeting invitation.	1.2025	0.03565	158	129	26	3
4808	I can't stand her snuffling noises. That's nothing, mine smokes and never empties his ashtray!	1.2025	0.03889	158	132	20	6
4809	This workplace is really inclusive!	1.2025	0.03565	158	129	26	3
4810	Dog-gone-it, I know how you feel, Frank	1.2025	0.03676	158	130	24	4
4811	Once they were able to teach the puppy Python, I knew we were doomed..	1.2025	0.03908	163	137	19	7
4812	Remember when the dinner table was for conversation?	1.2024	0.03920	168	142	18	8
4813	He said his mom is an actress.	1.2024	0.03538	168	138	26	4
4814	They disabled Bow Wow Wow!	1.2024	0.03538	168	138	26	4
4815	I’m convinced the Internet is going to the dogs!	1.2024	0.03828	168	141	20	7
4816	Stop sending me dick pics.	1.2024	0.03920	168	142	18	8
4817	He said there was a memo our department had gone to the dogs, and also that he'd report me if I keep watching Netflix...	1.2023	0.03275	173	140	31	2
4818	tbis year is going to be ruff...	1.2023	0.03570	173	143	25	5
4819	They demanded equal screen time	1.2023	0.03570	173	143	25	5
4820	No, I have not seen the ‘Planet of the Puppies.’	1.2022	0.03595	178	148	24	6
4821	I have no clue what these new guys are hashtagging!	1.2022	0.03320	178	145	30	3
4822	So, apparently now the peacocks are no longer qualified to work the crisis line?	1.2022	0.03414	178	146	28	4
4823	I don’t want to sound catty, but doggone!	1.2022	0.03506	178	147	26	5
4824	It's simple,just don't use the subject line 'woof' to break the bad news	1.2022	0.03445	183	151	27	5
4825	Who let the robots out?"	1.2022	0.03356	183	150	29	4
4826	Tomorrow is the Dog College Admissions Test.	1.2022	0.03356	183	150	29	4
4827	Since they started producing ultrasonic music this place has been going to the dogs.	1.2022	0.03445	183	151	27	5
4828	I'm worried I might be replaced by a cat.	1.2013	0.03807	149	123	22	4
4829	They're on the internet, and I know they're dogs.	1.2013	0.03613	154	126	25	3
4830	Perhaps we should step out in the hall.	1.2013	0.03867	159	133	20	6
4831	Wait, I went blank, how does it go again? " One for the Master, and one for the Dame and one who lives where? "	1.2013	0.03544	159	130	26	3
4832	There's a new rumor that Artificial Intelligence is having difficulty incorporating cats too!	1.2013	0.03867	159	133	20	6
4833	Why didn't you tell me it was 'make your dog to work' day?	1.2012	0.03714	169	141	22	6
4834	I wish they would speak english!	1.2012	0.03618	169	140	24	5
4835	People click on their videos like crazy.	1.2012	0.03519	169	139	26	4
4836	Did you realize this place had gone to the dogs?	1.2012	0.03618	169	140	24	5
4837	Arf, arf. Woof woof woof.	1.2011	0.03734	174	146	21	7
4838	I didn’t realize it was such a dog eat dog world in this place.	1.2011	0.03456	174	143	27	4
4839	When they said we'd be pounding the phones... this is not what I pictured	1.2011	0.03734	174	146	21	7
4840	Tech bros these days are real dogs.	1.2011	0.03734	174	146	21	7
4841	Just tell them your call is very annoying to us as well.	1.2011	0.03359	174	142	29	3
4842	I can't get a bark in edgewise.	1.2011	0.03397	179	147	28	4
4843	I think the message is No Animal Left Behind	1.2011	0.03250	184	150	31	3
4844	Who gnu?	1.2011	0.03678	184	155	21	8
4845	I think that the singularity might pass us by!	1.2011	0.03340	184	151	29	4
4846	You were right, this place is a total zoo!	1.2011	0.03513	184	153	25	6
4847	When they said our company was merging with Royal Canin, I didn't think they were going to hire privileged dogs.	1.2011	0.03428	184	152	27	5
4848	It' s dog eat dog be yourself !	1.2011	0.03678	184	155	21	8
4849	It's ruff when they're so dogged.	1.2010	0.03263	199	164	30	5
4850	We have no reason left for walking, have we?	1.2000	0.03694	170	142	22	6
4851	They closed the dog run in The Park last month, and that fluffy-eared b***h refuses to give up the chair next to you.	1.2000	0.03234	185	151	31	3
4852	The're trolls trying to interfere in the election for dogcatcher.	1.2000	0.03767	165	138	21	6
4853	Everybody knows they're dogs.	1.2000	0.03878	170	144	18	8
4854	Do you want to go off campus for lunch today?	1.2000	0.03496	185	154	25	6
4855	...but we DO know	1.2000	0.03624	175	146	23	6
4856	Bill, have you seen Coco? She is looking a little husky.	1.2000	0.03565	165	136	25	4
4857	These dog day afternoons are not what they used to be, can’t they just nap and leave us alone?	1.2000	0.03036	215	176	35	4
4858	Stop rubbing my leg! Why do you always have to be such an animal?!	1.2000	0.03707	155	128	23	4
4859	What am I supposed to do? He left me 2 dog biscuits and a jerky treat." That's nothing,He told me to get really hydrated,because we're running with some of his big friends tonight	1.2000	0.03634	160	132	24	4
4860	Ever since match.com added the "4-4-legs only" app, it's been like this.	1.2000	0.03438	175	144	27	4
4861	I don’t care for this version of “The Animal Farm”	1.2000	0.03399	170	139	28	3
4862	Who let the dogs out?” Jacqueline Moran, Ottawa, Canad	1.2000	0.03399	170	139	28	3
4863	John, they did say it was a dog eat dog world	1.1990	0.03310	201	167	28	6
4864	This job shouldn’t happen to a dog.	1.1990	0.03577	191	161	22	8
4865	I mean, they're better than robots but still, it's weird!	1.1990	0.03169	191	156	32	3
4866	It's the new boss. He loves dogs	1.1990	0.03255	191	157	30	4
4867	Let’s go, this café bytes.	1.1990	0.03338	191	158	28	5
4868	Between you and me - this place is for the dogs!	1.1989	0.03307	186	153	29	4
4869	How would you translate "woof, woof......woof?"	1.1989	0.03561	186	156	23	7
4870	I can't look at porn of their breeds if they're in the room!	1.1989	0.03479	186	155	25	6
4871	I hate this contest why can’t you guys just let me win	1.1989	0.03394	186	154	27	5
4872	Let's go to an Internet cafe that only allows housebroken dogs.	1.1989	0.03453	181	150	26	5
4873	I heard that the Oxford Dictionary just announced the 2019 Word of the Year: "Interpet".	1.1989	0.03363	181	149	28	4
4874	Let's get to the bone here...We're sticking out and I'm not having a ball of fun."	1.1989	0.03175	181	147	32	2
4875	They are quite sophisticated. They won't chase cats but they love watching UTube videos of other dogs chasing cat.	1.1988	0.03647	166	138	23	5
4876	I can't work here anymore, the communication is a-paw-ling	1.1988	0.04118	166	143	13	10
4877	Who decided on an Open Floor plan?	1.1988	0.03936	166	141	17	8
4878	Does affirmative action now include pets?	1.1988	0.03334	166	135	29	2
4879	Play to win.	1.1988	0.03823	161	135	20	6
4880	This CRISPR thing was O.K. at first but now I think it got out of hand	1.1988	0.03505	161	132	26	3
4881	What can I say? This new union is for the dogs.	1.1988	0.03614	161	133	24	4
4882	Can today get any ruffer?	1.1987	0.03454	156	127	27	2
4883	What does "Woof woof bark woof" mean?	1.1987	0.03761	151	125	22	4
4884	This place is like a zoo!	1.1986	0.04080	146	123	17	6
4885	Just put color graph	1.1980	0.03424	197	165	25	7
4886	The big dog has been eating table scraps again!	1.1980	0.03499	197	166	23	8
4887	I hope this was a good idea.	1.1980	0.03572	197	167	21	9
4888	Remember, Comrade, once you shout, 'Who wants to fetch Starbucks?' we have 6 minutes only to download confidential files.	1.1978	0.03435	182	151	26	5
4889	...and my husband is talking to your wife.	1.1978	0.03523	182	152	24	6
4890	They have no sense of time; their hour is up.	1.1977	0.03496	177	147	25	5
4891	The Dog-walkers' Union is protesting again - I had to park six blocks away!	1.1977	0.03496	177	147	25	5
4892	Haven't you seen "Up"? Just grab the ball and throw it!	1.1977	0.03364	172	141	28	3
4893	I didn't realize that so many pets have their own cell phones.	1.1977	0.03463	172	142	26	4
4894	Alright already! I get it- you're more into dogs than broads.	1.1976	0.03726	167	140	21	6
4895	The dog is the adult in the room	1.1976	0.03726	167	140	21	6
4896	I don't know why AI chose those costumes either.	1.1976	0.03423	167	137	27	3
4897	Somehow this empowers me to admit that I’D rather be gnawing rawhide and catching frisbees in my mouth.	1.1976	0.03527	167	138	25	4
4898	Ever get the feeling we're the only ones doggin' it around here?	1.1975	0.03593	162	134	24	4
4899	Did you hear the one about how many cloven hooves it takes to screw in a lightbulb?	1.1975	0.03485	162	133	26	3
4900	The latest poll says we're definitely going to the dogs	1.1975	0.03593	162	134	24	4
4901	What is up with these new hires???	1.1975	0.03434	157	128	27	2
4902	Max is barking up the wrong tree with all that panting.	1.1975	0.03984	157	133	17	7
4903	I guess I shouldn't have had 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' on my Spotify playlist.	1.1975	0.03551	157	129	25	3
4904	They are well trained and obedient, but they don't speak English! What does 'Bow wow wow' mean anyway?	1.1974	0.03620	152	125	24	3
4905	They got their jobs because they know the best "Funny Dog" videos.	1.1972	0.03902	142	118	20	4
4906	I don't mind the "dog eat dog" promotion tactics, but the kibble snacks are hard as a rock.	1.1971	0.03565	137	111	25	1
4907	What's the dog word?	1.1968	0.03187	188	154	31	3
4908	You warned me this job would be a dog, but HR just emailed me my contract. They're paying me in Milkbones?	1.1968	0.03361	188	156	27	5
4909	The boss said hiring them was cheaper than a dog walker.	1.1967	0.03238	183	150	30	3
4910	I thought this was the Human Society Internet Cafe!	1.1966	0.03656	178	150	21	7
4911	I can't hear you for all the barking and braying. It must be the Animal Farm game.	1.1966	0.03568	178	149	23	6
4912	This job stinks!	1.1966	0.03478	178	148	25	5
4913	I thought they emphasized "bring". Turns out they emphasized "work".	1.1965	0.03541	173	144	24	5
4914	I usually don’t come to these chat cafes any more..they let anyone in !	1.1965	0.03346	173	142	28	3
4915	It's dog eat dog	1.1965	0.03541	173	144	24	5
4916	They'll get 500,000 entries with "No one seems to know I'm a person."	1.1964	0.03508	168	139	25	4
4917	I told you the public library was going to the dogs.	1.1964	0.03608	168	140	23	5
4918	Couldn't they come up with a better name than BS detectors?!	1.1964	0.03608	168	140	23	5
4919	When they said open floor plan, nobody mentioned free-range.	1.1964	0.03508	168	139	25	4
4920	Now I know why we are hounded by drop down ads	1.1964	0.03508	168	139	25	4
4921	They want a lap dog dancer!	1.1963	0.03779	163	137	20	6
4922	Archie, I don't think we are in Riverdale!	1.1962	0.03752	158	132	21	5
4923	Does @realDonaldTrump understand that "Dog Tweets" are about Border Collies, not border kennels?	1.1962	0.03858	158	133	19	6
4924	The New Yorker rejected my captain again! I hate these dogs!	1.1962	0.03858	158	133	19	6
4925	He's just putting everyone on howled!	1.1961	0.03830	153	128	20	5
4926	Got any kibble?"	1.1959	0.03371	194	162	26	6
4927	I'm all for animal rights, but the genetic editing experiments to boost intelligence has gotten way out of hand!	1.1958	0.03082	189	154	33	2
4928	Hey, Walter G, It’s not easy working at the Bow-Wow School of Design.	1.1958	0.03082	189	154	33	2
4929	"Declare cursor, open cursor, and fetch what?????" Jenny was finding it very hard to compete in her new job	1.1955	0.03461	179	149	25	5
4930	Were you invited to the all-paws meeting?	1.1955	0.03177	179	146	31	2
4931	I haven't heard one word about educational opportunities offered in animal shelters. Have you?	1.1955	0.03461	179	149	25	5
4932	So last week Corporate announced we're now an equal opportunity employer?	1.1954	0.03427	174	144	26	4
4933	Emoticons of treats and cats are not code.	1.1953	0.03489	169	140	25	4
4934	Obviously F.B.I. stands for Farm Bureau of Investigations. Get with the program.	1.1953	0.03779	169	143	19	7
4935	Hey, isn't that Muffy over there? I thought she was with Baxter but it's clear that she's updating her dating profile. What a hussy.	1.1953	0.03685	169	142	21	6
4936	Their incessant barking forced Scruffy to apply for the job near the hydrant down the street.	1.1953	0.03588	169	141	23	5
4937	I don't even know if there is a "humans only" section here.	1.1953	0.03489	169	140	25	4
4938	Have you noticed the new agents are only booking trips to Arfghanistan?	1.1953	0.03386	169	139	27	3
4939	We’ve had lunch like 12 times already, when are they going to give us our pay?	1.1951	0.03657	164	137	22	5
4940	No, I won't help you spell WOOF!	1.1950	0.02897	200	162	37	1
4941	Woof, wraf, grrr, woof, woof	1.1947	0.03244	190	157	29	4
4942	I didn't mean let's literally search for a new dog on the internet.	1.1946	0.03297	185	153	28	4
4943	Social media's sure gone to the dog.	1.1944	0.03352	180	149	27	4
4944	It's reigning dogs.	1.1944	0.03352	180	149	27	4
4945	Everyone knows this place was going to the dogs, but it's the leash law in the break room that proves it.	1.1944	0.03532	180	151	23	6
4946	He says they’re rating that new kennel.	1.1944	0.03161	180	147	31	2
4947	Management has taken the EOE thing way too seriously.	1.1944	0.03161	180	147	31	2
4948	They can't find an affordable two-bedroom with good light either.	1.1944	0.03591	144	118	24	2
4949	They work like a dog.	1.1944	0.03352	180	149	27	4
4950	They say they work for Dogbook.	1.1943	0.03775	175	149	18	8
4951	Why are you tossing me doggy biscuits?	1.1942	0.03939	139	116	19	4
4952	Hey...do you understand this new generation?	1.1941	0.03569	170	142	23	5
4953	Recreating the bar room scene from Star Wars is not an atmosphere conducive to serious research.	1.1941	0.03569	170	142	23	5
4954	This working environment is just too ruff for me.	1.1940	0.03287	201	168	27	6
4955	The boss is workin’ us like dogs in this job!	1.1940	0.03132	201	166	31	4
4956	Applying for jobs: "It's a dog eat dog world out there..."	1.1939	0.03534	165	137	24	4
4957	I've been working here since 2012, but they still haven't given me my one-year review!	1.1938	0.03813	160	135	19	6
4958	I AM working like a millenial!	1.1938	0.03601	160	133	23	4
4959	Google it yourself.	1.1938	0.03813	160	135	19	6
4960	I liked it better when we were a cube farm.	1.1938	0.03490	160	132	25	3
4961	Oh, I can tell it's you making those noises.	1.1937	0.03229	191	158	29	4
4962	I thought the sign on the door read 'Log In' not 'Dog In' "	1.1937	0.03395	191	160	25	6
4963	I'm doing cat food commercials. How bout you?	1.1935	0.03368	186	155	26	5
4964	I didn’t know I was going to have such a ruff time fitting in.”	1.1935	0.03368	186	155	26	5
4965	Nobody told you that this office was a flea circus?	1.1935	0.03785	155	130	20	5
4966	It’s been a hard day’s night...	1.1934	0.03241	181	149	29	3
4967	I’m feeling the competition....ARF you???	1.1934	0.03241	181	149	29	3
4968	This fella's just surfing for eye bacon.	1.1933	0.03748	150	125	21	4
4969	Animals work for cheaper!	1.1932	0.03486	176	147	24	5
4970	They must have seen that old cartoon.	1.1932	0.03578	176	148	22	6
4971	You think our colleagues look a little different today?	1.1932	0.03486	176	147	24	5
4972	Man, who cut the cheese?	1.1930	0.03452	171	142	25	4
4973	Dr. Dolittle's Net Neutrality class has really gone to the dogs.	1.1930	0.03550	171	143	23	5
4974	Its not like we need them to pick up on the dog whistles coming from the White House.	1.1930	0.03739	171	145	19	7
4975	We're the new millennium workplace, Jim.	1.1930	0.03350	171	141	27	3
4976	Telemarketing has become a ruff business.	1.1928	0.03514	166	138	24	4
4977	I'm telling you, we're not hedged. These alpha dogs can't get enough cat bonds.	1.1925	0.03239	161	131	29	1
4978	Upstairs is saying the democratic thing would be to take, at least, part of our pay in treats.	1.1925	0.03265	187	155	28	4
4979	So...when does the translator get here?	1.1923	0.03318	182	151	27	4
4980	The dogs are making me crazy	1.1923	0.03130	182	149	31	2
4981	REALLY? Things here are not rough at all!	1.1923	0.03582	182	154	21	7
4982	This is what happens when you become a 'dog whisperer'	1.1921	0.03468	177	148	24	5
4983	They're ordering custom wheels, from Amazon.	1.1921	0.03559	177	149	22	6
4984	How can I soar like an eagle when I work with DOGS??	1.1921	0.03468	177	148	24	5
4985	How do they get passed security?	1.1921	0.03374	177	147	26	4
4986	It’s going to the dogs!	1.1921	0.03374	177	147	26	4
4987	So far so good. Now, if we can get the rest of these trumped-up lapdogs out of here we might get around to something meaningful.	1.1921	0.03278	177	146	28	3
4988	They're great at monitoring the security cameras. Just ignore all the pop-ups for kibble.	1.1921	0.03725	151	126	21	4
4989	I thought they said _robots_ were going to take over our jobs!	1.1921	0.03605	151	125	23	3
4990	I've been hearing the Baha Men through his headphones for 3 weeks straight...	1.1919	0.03531	172	144	23	5
4991	How long do we have until the robo-dogs replace us?	1.1917	0.03363	193	162	25	6
4992	This is what they're teaching in obedience school?	1.1916	0.03696	167	141	20	6
4993	Welcome to WoofWorks.	1.1916	0.03696	167	141	20	6
4994	Hey Fred, Thank god they are finally wearing the flea collars, but check out all the dead fleas on the ground....eeww gross!	1.1914	0.03561	162	135	23	4
4995	I hear corporate's paying these IT dogs with dog food and playtime, can you believe it?	1.1914	0.03338	162	133	27	2
4996	On Facebook, everyone knows you're not a dog.	1.1914	0.03561	162	135	23	4
4997	Rufus is so agitated when he does not fetch. Dude, we got to find that tennis ball!	1.1911	0.03515	157	130	24	3
4998	This business is going to the dogs.	1.1911	0.03630	157	131	22	4
4999	Without any cat videos, our traffic is going to the dogs	1.1910	0.03261	178	147	28	3
5000	This place is a zoo, and the animals are in control.	1.1910	0.03450	178	149	24	5
5001	Too many dogs .... overloading the system, killing response time.	1.1908	0.03512	173	145	23	5
5002	So how come all we can get is this gobsmacking #woofware?”	1.1908	0.03415	173	144	25	4
5003	Did you say Google or Gaggle?	1.1908	0.03512	173	145	23	5
5004	I'm sure they're typing in just a lot of doggerel.	1.1908	0.03315	173	143	27	3
5005	They said this project was 'for the dogs.'	1.1905	0.02961	189	154	34	1
5006	Is this what you thought automation would look like?	1.1905	0.03577	168	141	22	5
5007	I guess it's a dog code dog world now.	1.1902	0.03228	205	172	27	6
5008	-"Why can't Rusty just write his name on his lunch like everyone else?" -"And I thought the refrigerator smelled musty before he started working here."	1.1902	0.03194	184	152	29	3
5009	The "A" doesn't always mean "Artificial"	1.1902	0.03629	184	157	19	8
5010	It's doggerel to me.	1.1902	0.03374	184	154	25	5
5011	But no cats !?	1.1899	0.03340	179	149	26	4
5012	I don't care about the lighting, this communal work space stinks.	1.1899	0.03245	179	148	28	3
5013	I thought you said Obedience School was a easy!?	1.1899	0.03340	179	149	26	4
5014	Did you just text me when I’m sitting right here!? Jeez...just email.	1.1899	0.03495	158	131	24	3
5015	And that's why they call them the "Dogs of the Dow"	1.1899	0.03609	158	132	22	4
5016	What is all the muttering about ?	1.1897	0.03494	174	146	23	5
5017	ARK to mission control.	1.1897	0.03397	174	145	25	4
5018	And they get a kibble golden parachute!	1.1897	0.03298	174	144	27	3
5019	Is that you barking, Cheryl? I'm trying to work"	1.1895	0.03218	190	158	28	4
5020	Pssst...What’s the code for the bathroom?	1.1895	0.03386	190	160	24	6
5021	We've got to stop meeting at the kennel like this.	1.1893	0.03558	169	142	22	5
5022	It's hopeless, you'll never pass the Turing Test.	1.1892	0.03358	185	155	25	5
5023	There not getting it, Their paper manuals worked much better"	1.1892	0.03269	185	154	27	4
5024	I thought this was a doggie basics class.	1.1892	0.03084	185	152	31	2
5025	The stick was in your field of vision, Carl!	1.1890	0.03626	164	138	21	5
5026	I can code better than the dogs, but this space creature has us all beat!	1.1890	0.03413	164	136	25	3
5027	It’s not so bad here ... the cafeteria sucks.	1.1890	0.03826	164	140	17	7
5028	Don’t talk to me. Why don’t you go to HR.	1.1889	0.03415	180	151	24	5
5029	He's barking in a foreign accent!	1.1888	0.03070	196	162	31	3
5030	they can use a keyboard?	1.1887	0.03588	159	133	22	4
5031	BOW WOW...WHO STOCKED THE VENDING MACHINE WITH DOGGIE TREATS AGAIN!	1.1887	0.03803	159	135	18	6
5032	All day long bah, bah, bah	1.1887	0.03588	159	133	22	4
5033	It doesn’t require an email to ask whether I wanna grab a coffee with you guys!	1.1887	0.03588	159	133	22	4
5034	How come only the dogs get dog food around here? Should I complain to HR?	1.1886	0.03475	175	147	23	5
5035	We’re all impressed with your knowledge of Old English slang, but you’re creating an uncomfortable workplace.	1.1886	0.03475	175	147	23	5
5036	They heard about Wattpad, Tagged, Yammer, Flickr, zoo.gr, Friendster, Mubi and Bebo.	1.1886	0.03179	175	144	29	2
5037	Hey, have you noticed how there are dogs working here instead of humans? I mean, like, aside from us. Because we're humans.	1.1883	0.03659	154	129	21	4
5038	He's looking for puppy love!", Helen Rosenbaum, Long Island City, N	1.1883	0.03659	154	129	21	4
5039	I was surprised too! A lot of places won't let you bring your pets to work with you!	1.1883	0.03773	154	130	19	5
5040	It smells like “Up Dog” in here.	1.1882	0.03539	170	143	22	5
5041	This one's in crisis. What can I tell her? She says Fluffy wants to play fetch!	1.1882	0.03439	170	142	24	4
5042	Man's best friend just crashed the net. What's warm and fuzzy about that?	1.1882	0.03539	170	143	22	5
5043	Go pee!	1.1882	0.03636	170	144	20	6
5044	It really is the dog days of summer.	1.1882	0.03341	186	156	25	5
5045	I'm weird? You're weird	1.1882	0.03341	186	156	25	5
5046	It's a Pop-up Doggie Day-Care	1.1879	0.03605	165	139	21	5
5047	I'm thinking we're not diverse enough!	1.1879	0.03169	165	135	29	1
5048	What good is You Too movement against dogs?	1.1879	0.03284	165	136	27	2
5049	The boss is cutting back on training expenses.	1.1879	0.03284	165	136	27	2
5050	Only 20%.	1.1878	0.03212	181	150	28	3
5051	‘The importance of anal connections ?’	1.1875	0.03665	192	166	16	10
5052	Crazy, I know, but it smells like an animal peed on this chair.	1.1875	0.03550	176	149	21	6
5053	I overheard him say the country is going to the dogs.	1.1872	0.03147	187	155	29	3
5054	Did you pass wind?	1.1871	0.03213	171	141	28	2
5055	Damn-it Charlie, I only took this lousy job because you said hot chicks worked here.	1.1868	0.03290	182	152	26	4
5056	I knew identity politics would take a bad turn: don't even mention the "no food" rule.	1.1868	0.03290	182	152	26	4
5057	Cracker, 7 letters?	1.1868	0.03556	182	155	20	7
5058	They are really taking fetch commands to a new level.	1.1867	0.03482	166	139	23	4
5059	The world famous dog trainer, Evan, has gone too far this time.	1.1865	0.03256	193	162	26	5
5060	I don't care what star they come from. If mine says, 'Shall we paws' one more time, I'm gonna scream.	1.1864	0.03043	177	145	31	1
5061	He asked to borrow mine because he lost his Woofer?	1.1864	0.03247	177	147	27	3
5062	“It’s like they think they’re gods or something.” “I know, right? Just because they’re dyslexic.”	1.1864	0.03709	177	152	17	8
5063	They really should call it Dogfishing	1.1864	0.03247	177	147	27	3
5064	It looks like we're going to the dogs!	1.1863	0.03547	161	135	22	4
5065	Why don't we let the robots do it!!!!!	1.1863	0.03547	161	135	22	4
5066	I have no idea what I'm doing	1.1863	0.03436	161	134	24	3
5067	This This "Us Too" movement is ridiculous!	1.1862	0.03913	145	123	17	5
5068	Right! The library brings in consultants to make the public feel better about the five free minutes.	1.1862	0.03132	188	156	29	3
5069	The world is going to the dogs	1.1860	0.03196	172	142	28	2
5070	Don't worry he's a pedigree !	1.1860	0.03301	172	143	26	3
5071	Person 1:"My computer doesn't have enough storage." Person 2:"What?" Person 1:"Not enough Kibble-bytes."	1.1859	0.03191	199	167	27	5
5072	I told you Scooby wasn’t eligible for bring-your-child-to-work day!	1.1859	0.03254	156	128	27	1
5073	Really? I heard that Mr. Snuffles got a job at Farmer’s Insurance Group in upstate New York.	1.1859	0.03379	156	129	25	2
5074	I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of tweeting dog whistles!	1.1859	0.03728	156	132	19	5
5075	Computer techs in Sillycon Valley.	1.1858	0.03180	183	152	28	3
5076	What happened to diversity when the "Intelligence Resources" decided that we would all fit in the same type of chair?	1.1856	0.03248	167	138	27	2
5077	There are only two of us. Does that mean we're not kosher?	1.1856	0.03665	167	142	19	6
5078	We ran out of people to track down fake accounts.	1.1854	0.03513	178	151	21	6
5079	I can't understand a word on my woofer	1.1852	0.03206	189	158	27	4
5080	He can answer any question. He’s the absolute GOAT!	1.1852	0.03302	162	134	26	2
5081	I can't stand it when they dog-pound the keys.	1.1850	0.03179	173	143	28	2
5082	Excuse me, there is no food allowed in computer class.	1.1850	0.03761	173	149	16	8
5083	I'll be back in an hour after I drop these guys at the dog park.	1.1850	0.03072	173	142	30	1
5084	I CAN'T HERE A THING WITH ALL THIS BARKING	1.1850	0.03384	173	145	24	4
5085	I said to him, "I'm starting to feel normal since taking this job."	1.1848	0.03347	184	155	24	5
5086	This isn't what I pictured when you said you wanted to get your animal husbandry degree online.	1.1848	0.03069	184	152	30	2
5087	This is NOT how I pictured an alien abduction to work out!	1.1848	0.03434	184	156	22	6
5088	It's Tinder technical support.	1.1847	0.03479	157	131	23	3
5089	They are better at this, where's the ball? The only way to get them out!	1.1846	0.03385	195	166	22	7
5090	Doggone it!	1.1845	0.03546	168	142	21	5
5091	This new coding system is really hard to understand.	1.1845	0.03645	168	143	19	6
5092	Is this why HR management jobs require degrees in animal husbandry?	1.1845	0.03339	168	140	25	3
5093	Why are you breathing so loud?	1.1845	0.03645	168	143	19	6
5094	For some reason, I can't hear the audio on BigDog.com!	1.1845	0.03339	168	140	25	3
5095	You took me to an internet cafe?	1.1845	0.03546	168	142	21	5
5096	Now a word from some Particularly dogged reporters	1.1844	0.03115	179	148	29	2
5097	What's the wi-fi password?	1.1844	0.03310	179	150	25	4
5098	After I finished the paper, he told me to fur-get about it...	1.1842	0.03666	152	128	20	4
5099	Nobody wants to work with him besides the dogs and us!	1.1842	0.03277	190	160	25	5
5100	Kids these days. Am I right?	1.1842	0.03277	190	160	25	5
5101	You could’ve at least told me who we’d be working with!	1.1840	0.03613	163	138	20	5
5102	Will this reign of error never end?	1.1840	0.03613	163	138	20	5
5103	What did you expect because it is called the "Canine Computer Cafe"?	1.1840	0.03507	163	137	22	4
5104	These new kids don't listen!	1.1840	0.03397	163	136	24	3
5105	It's a dog eat dog world out there and in here!	1.1839	0.03266	174	145	26	3
5106	When did they move up the dog training class?	1.1839	0.03266	174	145	26	3
5107	#HumansToo!	1.1838	0.03330	185	156	24	5
5108	I HEAR THEY HAVE RESTRUCTURED THE DOG PARK TOO	1.1835	0.03685	158	134	19	5
5109	I thought we had all the answers. Do they know something we don't?	1.1835	0.03217	158	130	27	1
5110	is your internet working?	1.1834	0.03625	169	144	19	6
5111	This place is literally going to the dogs.	1.1834	0.03425	169	142	23	4
5112	They’ve really taken dog therapy sessions overboard	1.1834	0.03527	169	143	21	5
5113	I am not an animal. I stretched my leg!	1.1833	0.03294	180	151	25	4
5114	Did you even know that AI stands for Arf-iticial Intelligence??	1.1833	0.03477	180	153	21	6
5115	Skylar, the ping-pong table's open...	1.1833	0.03386	180	152	23	5
5116	When they told us we would be working on programming with artificial intelligence, I didn’t think they meant animals.	1.1832	0.03261	191	161	25	5
5117	I think they're streaming old episodes of "Game of Bones."	1.1830	0.03524	153	128	22	3
5118	They 're eggheads-don't play ball anymore.	1.1830	0.03524	153	128	22	3
5119	Didn't I tell you that this place had gone to the dogs?	1.1829	0.03593	164	139	20	5
5120	I know the unemployment's rate really low but isn't this taking it too far?!	1.1829	0.03487	164	138	22	4
5121	I'm positive, it was a purr, not a growl!	1.1829	0.03149	164	135	28	1
5122	There's a party In a big tree tonight. Hats mandatory.	1.1829	0.03445	175	148	22	5
5123	You' have always wanted to bitch slap me, Rodney. Forget #metoo. Now's the time.	1.1829	0.03808	175	152	14	9
5124	I've never worked on a team with so much positive affirmation and their begging for food scraps is hard to resist.	1.1829	0.03445	175	148	22	5
5125	We can’t keep meeting like this! We are not dogs!	1.1829	0.03249	175	146	26	3
5126	He’s trying to make ‘Dogfluencer’ a thing.	1.1829	0.03147	175	145	28	2
5127	el muy loco parro	1.1828	0.03225	186	156	26	4
5128	We brought them on because they are animals when it comes to work ethic.	1.1828	0.03225	186	156	26	4
5129	I thought it was A.I. that was coming for our jobs, not our pets!	1.1824	0.03553	159	134	21	4
5130	I don’t get it, only audio coming through reminds me of barking and growling!	1.1824	0.03439	159	133	23	3
5131	There's too much kibblitzing going on here.	1.1824	0.03553	159	134	21	4
5132	I didn't know we could bring kibble"	1.1824	0.03605	170	145	19	6
5133	Ummm.. I don't get it. What's a "bow wow" browser?	1.1823	0.03369	181	153	23	5
5134	Oh you think his snacks smell I dare you to smell this side of the table	1.1823	0.03459	181	154	21	6
5135	OMG, who said the Alpo frat could use our space?	1.1823	0.03182	181	151	27	3
5136	They're talking insurrection against cat videos.	1.1818	0.03248	165	137	26	2
5137	I hope you know the WiFi password.	1.1818	0.03331	176	148	24	4
5138	There's animals all over and all you can do is look at my legs	1.1818	0.03248	165	137	26	2
5139	This start-up is going to the dogs!	1.1818	0.03468	165	139	22	4
5140	It’s been a hard night and I’m feeling like a dog.	1.1818	0.03774	165	142	16	7
5141	I can’t believe they’re going to the dogs! This company must be in a rough situation...	1.1818	0.03503	154	129	22	3
5142	That's it! Now they've taken AI too far!	1.1818	0.03622	154	130	20	4
5143	Maybe if we use Moris code they won't understand	1.1813	0.03166	182	152	27	3
5144	So who hired them	1.1813	0.03260	182	153	25	4
5145	I told you we shouldn’t hav hired all these hipsters Jim	1.1813	0.03442	182	155	21	6
5146	I said I speak French. French!	1.1813	0.03069	171	141	29	1
5147	I guess it’s bring your dog to work day.	1.1813	0.03179	171	142	27	2
5148	This place is going to the dogs, literally!	1.1813	0.03389	171	144	23	4
5149	Do you think we are at a higher risk of being infected with any malware?	1.1812	0.03302	160	133	25	2
5150	They're loyal, sure. But their math? Questionable. The wall is BOUND to cost somewhere north of a "million" dog treats or "truck full" of kibbles, or "mountains of tennis balls.	1.1812	0.03441	149	124	23	2
5151	Let's stick with the dog park. All he does is watch cat videos.	1.1812	0.03570	149	125	21	3
5152	There is a real dog in the manager.	1.1812	0.03816	149	127	17	5
5153	Dogs of the Dow I was told . . . (?)	1.1809	0.03166	199	168	26	5
5154	These computers should be for research, not for online poker.	1.1809	0.03367	188	160	22	6
5155	Putin says that he doesn't believe me.	1.1809	0.03193	188	158	26	4
5156	Does anyone here speak pig Latin?	1.1809	0.03103	188	157	28	3
5157	This was your plan when I said to just hire the G.O.A.T ?	1.1808	0.03216	177	148	26	3
5158	I don't like conversation. Just message me please	1.1808	0.03114	177	147	28	2
5159	I told you we didn't have sixth sense!	1.1807	0.03654	166	142	18	6
5160	Is there a problem with you understanding User-Friendly?	1.1803	0.03244	183	154	25	4
5161	Are we going to the dogs?	1.1803	0.03053	183	152	29	2
5162	It sounds like they're saying that our transmission is very rough.	1.1803	0.03244	183	154	25	4
5163	This wasn’t in the job description.	1.1803	0.03244	183	154	25	4
5164	I thought they were supposed to already trained in support!	1.1803	0.03244	183	154	25	4
5165	This was how management wanted to respond to a ruff fiscal year?	1.1802	0.03370	172	145	23	4
5166	First I lost my seat on the plane and now my JOB!—darn these Customer Service Animals	1.1798	0.03199	178	149	26	3
5167	Can't we just I.M.??	1.1798	0.03199	178	149	26	3
5168	‘Rule 1: Book in a focus group that can talk’	1.1796	0.03533	167	142	20	5
5169	Why not! Have you called the Suicide Hotline and received a friendly bark? It works!	1.1796	0.03430	167	141	22	4
5170	They like to treat.	1.1793	0.03319	184	156	23	5
5171	What kind of stupid joke is this?	1.1791	0.03056	201	169	28	4
5172	I don't know why, but I have a nagging suspicion that this job will be slightly alienating.	1.1790	0.03265	162	135	25	2
5173	This sabermetrics has become a dog speak dog world.	1.1790	0.03146	162	134	27	1
5174	Quick- While they're busy!	1.1789	0.03163	190	160	26	4
5175	and remember we never use the term guerrilla marketing.	1.1788	0.03267	151	125	25	1
5176	This is our new social media team.	1.1788	0.03884	151	130	15	6
5177	#Weworktoo	1.1788	0.03083	179	149	28	2
5178	Is it "whoof, whoof, whoof" or "whoof, whoof, haul"?	1.1786	0.03015	196	164	29	3
5179	Weird? What? No, Pets.com is worth millions why wouldn’t this work?	1.1784	0.03119	185	155	27	3
5180	Darn it, I just like you because you're so humane.	1.1783	0.03671	157	134	18	5
5181	Look, I'm only believable as a PUREBRED!	1.1783	0.03321	157	131	24	2
5182	This is why I say four terabytes good; two terabytes better. Get 'em their own computer lab.	1.1782	0.03335	174	147	23	4
5183	They're part of the President's Declaration of a State of an Emergency.	1.1782	0.03433	174	148	21	5
5184	I know it’s a doggy eat dog world but this is getting ridiculous!	1.1779	0.03684	163	140	17	6
5185	Yes, I think we can officially call the top of the market now.	1.1778	0.03263	180	152	24	4
5186	They all burnout, eventually. Too many cases of chocolate poisonings, kennel coughing and wet noses.	1.1775	0.03392	169	143	22	4
5187	Dog-in-Dog Out! I liked it better when it was just Garbage-in-Garbage Out!	1.1774	0.03196	186	157	25	4
5188	I can’t understand a word!	1.1773	0.03186	203	173	24	6
5189	It's a joke...'rough' class...get it? Aw, never mind.	1.1771	0.03217	175	147	25	3
5190	What Wi-Fi signal?	1.1771	0.03217	175	147	25	3
5191	You know what they say, it's a doggy dog world.	1.1771	0.03217	175	147	25	3
5192	Fewer animals than this at the Central Park Zoo - let's go!	1.1771	0.03217	175	147	25	3
5193	They all keep submitting "The Best Internet Memes of 1993", what should I do?	1.1768	0.03663	164	141	17	6
5194	Open office has gone to the dogs!	1.1768	0.03343	164	138	23	3
5195	Did the workshop announcement read 'Moodle' or 'Poodle'?	1.1768	0.03453	164	139	21	4
5196	You DM'ed me to "come to the supply closet and watch me lick my red rocket" long before we started hiring dogs.	1.1768	0.03340	181	154	22	5
5197	Evolution? Mutation? Or jut a new pet friendly app?	1.1765	0.03269	187	159	23	5
5198	And they keep ogling my food while I don't care for they snacks.	1.1761	0.03200	176	148	25	3
5199	This place is going to dogs!	1.1761	0.03397	176	150	21	5
5200	I don't mean to sound racist but, is this a zootopia lesson?	1.1761	0.03283	159	133	24	2
5201	But my dog really did eat my homework so why am I here??	1.1759	0.03058	199	168	27	4
5202	I get the feeling we're the dumbest ones here, but at least we have fingers not paws.	1.1758	0.03230	182	154	24	4
5203	I know it's an old saying but, this place is really going to the dogs.	1.1758	0.03434	165	140	21	4
5204	It's not a baseball, it's a chew ball.	1.1758	0.03211	165	138	25	2
5205	What does PBS mean again!	1.1755	0.03253	188	160	23	5
5206	When did this become such a ruff place?	1.1755	0.03073	188	158	27	3
5207	Well I guess they are smarter than us then.	1.1754	0.03252	171	144	24	3
5208	After the prices for dog food went up	1.1753	0.03464	154	130	21	3
5209	All I get is the Dog Network!	1.1751	0.03283	177	150	23	4
5210	Honestly, it smells like a barnyard in here!	1.1751	0.03183	177	149	25	3
5211	Is it really genetic, or are they just wearing costumes?	1.1751	0.03081	177	148	27	2
5212	this bring your dog to work thing is getting out of paw	1.1749	0.03306	183	156	22	5
5213	You were at my wedding, Denise.	1.1749	0.03306	183	156	22	5
5214	I said hello but he said: don’t bother me, i’m Listening to a dog cast. Irina Torrey, San Francisco, CA	1.1748	0.02908	206	173	30	3
5215	The saying isn't, 'Every human has its day.'	1.1747	0.03077	166	138	27	1
5216	Faun never invites us to happy hour!!	1.1746	0.03058	189	159	27	3
5217	Yey, tell me about it Brad...GenZ's, then A.I......now its man's best friend!	1.1746	0.03149	189	160	25	4
5218	I don't think this counts as discrimination based on species.	1.1744	0.03536	172	148	18	6
5219	Should we get dog costumes?	1.1744	0.03438	172	147	20	5
5220	I know doing business on the net is also is dog eat dog but this is a bit much!	1.1744	0.03338	172	146	22	4
5221	This is all in the Cloud!	1.1744	0.03338	172	146	22	4
5222	That's so weird; I was just talking about dog toys yesterday.	1.1744	0.03234	172	145	24	3
5223	I feel it is a discrimination, when we are only ones who can't bark on annoying customer!	1.1744	0.03338	172	146	22	4
5224	At this rate, these AI pooches will eat up our jobs!	1.1742	0.03266	178	151	23	4
5225	‘Management wanted to save on keyboards.’	1.1739	0.03275	207	179	20	8
5226	This affirmative action is really going to the dogs.	1.1737	0.03307	190	163	21	6
5227	Can we leave now?	1.1735	0.03157	196	167	24	5
5228	How did I get stuck in this room full of dogs?	1.1734	0.03217	173	146	24	3
5229	With the AI, they're better at it than us!	1.1732	0.03151	179	151	25	3
5230	I don't want to be racist but...	1.1732	0.03050	179	150	27	2
5231	There're strays. I doubt they would have an interest our mortgage calculations.	1.1732	0.03151	179	151	25	3
5232	These budget cuts have been pretty ruff	1.1731	0.03541	156	133	19	4
5233	Do they really still think anyone cares whether they’re gods or not?	1.1730	0.03088	185	156	26	3
5234	Your pet forced to come with them on bring you human to work day too?	1.1730	0.02992	185	155	28	2
5235	I didn't complain when the new director started hiring dogs, but these Minion swivel chairs are just tacky	1.1728	0.03456	162	138	20	4
5236	I don’t know, all I can make out is about smells and fetching balls.	1.1728	0.03456	162	138	20	4
5237	I don't know. It's all growl to me.	1.1728	0.03119	191	162	25	4
5238	They say they have come from the NSA...	1.1728	0.03119	191	162	25	4
5239	I think we’re in PETCO!	1.1726	0.03377	168	143	21	4
5240	He wants to imagine making love in a committed relationship with someone he deeply cares for. Do we have a script for that?	1.1726	0.03377	168	143	21	4
5241	I guess this is not owned by the Fido mobile phone company.	1.1726	0.02973	197	166	28	3
5242	I know we want to troll the next election, but our hiring process has really gone to the dogs.	1.1724	0.03095	174	146	26	2
5243	How do you say "Not tonight, dear" in Woof-woof ?	1.1722	0.03419	180	155	19	6
5244	The dogs are better than us!	1.1722	0.03419	180	155	19	6
5245	Who let the server dog’s in?	1.1722	0.03596	180	157	15	8
5246	Why are we talking to each other? Let's just talk to our computer.	1.1722	0.03327	180	154	21	5
5247	I’d heard tech companies were famous for eating their own dog food.	1.1720	0.03403	157	133	21	3
5248	I thought you said this was the Planet of the Apes.	1.1720	0.03280	157	132	23	2
5249	hey are you holding?	1.1719	0.03275	192	165	21	6
5250	I don’t care what the C suite says; this is not the way to capture the pet owner market.	1.1719	0.02923	192	161	29	2
5251	I think we're in the wrong "Basic Demands for Dogs' class.	1.1718	0.03325	163	138	22	3
5252	I'm just saying, hot start-up or not, are we really into IPO shares in kibble?	1.1717	0.02959	198	167	28	3
5253	It's like Facebook for dogs but it has a NSFW name.	1.1716	0.03142	169	142	25	2
5254	PETA would call this discrimination.	1.1716	0.03252	169	143	23	3
5255	I think it's Tuesday.	1.1716	0.03660	169	147	15	7
5256	Psst: Do you feel like we are dog whisperers!	1.1716	0.03252	169	143	23	3
5257	These guys are beasts!	1.1716	0.03252	169	143	23	3
5258	He plays “ How Much is That Doggie in the Window” over and over and over, and it’s so loud! I can hear it, over and over and over!	1.1716	0.03462	169	145	19	5
5259	haha dog on computer	1.1714	0.03383	175	150	20	5
5260	This job is starting to be a dog’s world.	1.1714	0.03285	175	149	22	4
5261	At least when it farts, it smells like fresh-baked doughnuts.	1.1711	0.03328	187	161	20	6
5262	We tried paying them peanuts but they insisted on dog biscuits.	1.1709	0.03500	158	135	19	4
5263	We've given houndsight a shot. Now what?	1.1707	0.03306	164	139	22	3
5264	What can we do? It's becoming such a dog's life!	1.1706	0.03125	170	143	25	2
5265	Are they that smart!	1.1706	0.03125	170	143	25	2
5266	So this is the Human Resource Dept at the dog food company	1.1705	0.03167	176	149	24	3
5267	I don't like cats either but this constant dog rock in the background is driving me nuts.	1.1705	0.03268	176	150	22	4
5268	Equal Opportunity Employment	1.1703	0.03199	182	155	23	4
5269	I'm concerned about the future here.	1.1703	0.03103	182	154	25	3
5270	Their humor belongs in K - 9.	1.1702	0.03135	188	160	24	4
5271	On the Internet, everybody knows you're a dog!	1.1698	0.03480	159	136	19	4
5272	Doggy style.. they'd never notice. or	1.1697	0.03055	165	138	26	1
5273	You said we'd be working in a boiler room, not a kennel.	1.1696	0.03108	171	144	25	2
5274	He says we're supposed to be down the hall...	1.1695	0.02939	177	148	28	1
5275	Dr Livingston, I presume?	1.1695	0.03348	177	152	20	5
5276	The dogs are taking over our crypto space.	1.1695	0.03150	177	150	24	3
5277	They are barking mad.	1.1695	0.03251	177	151	22	4
5278	Well, at least we're all cisgender beings here.	1.1694	0.02989	183	154	27	2
5279	She's got you sleeping on the sofa again?	1.1694	0.03183	183	156	23	4
5280	Remember when we used to play outside from dawn ‘til dusk?	1.1693	0.03028	189	160	26	3
5281	I know that’s not how they do it in his culture, but I just stepped on a goat turd for like, the third time today, is all I’m saying.	1.1692	0.02832	201	169	30	2
5282	‘...said it came up on their phone as “FarmersOnly.com”. Huh.’	1.1688	0.03297	154	130	22	2
5283	Take Your Dog to Work Day -- 2075 A.D.	1.1687	0.03680	160	139	15	6
5284	I guess now days any sentient being can be a telemarketer	1.1686	0.03304	172	147	21	4
5285	Have you noticed that this place has really gone to the dogs?	1.1685	0.03134	178	151	24	3
5286	Dan, when I said I like guys with pets, this isn’t exactly what I meant...	1.1685	0.03072	184	156	25	3
5287	DO YOU SMELL THEM? THAT DOGGY SMELL?	1.1684	0.02823	190	159	30	1
5288	I was promised a dogs life but they work us like dogs!	1.1677	0.03439	161	138	19	4
5289	“The Spacecraft have successfully docked ‘doggie style'.”	1.1677	0.03658	161	140	15	6
5290	I thought Internet Cafes were dead...	1.1676	0.03183	173	147	23	3
5291	Speak any armadillo?	1.1676	0.03118	179	152	24	3
5292	These people work like animal	1.1676	0.03313	179	154	20	5
5293	How come Rover gets a window view & I’m stuck looking at your mug?	1.1676	0.03151	185	158	23	4
5294	And at break time, Tom, you can have dog biscuits and coffee!	1.1675	0.02999	191	162	26	3
5295	How'd you get this job by nepotism?	1.1667	0.03233	168	143	22	3
5296	A company of (best) friends", and I thought it would be risible hype	1.1667	0.03269	174	149	21	4
5297	Work like a dog eh? Rex is more concerned with hawking Kibbles n' Bits to his 800k followers than meeting this deadline." "I did really enjoy his latest 'fitness journey' post though. I will have to try 'fetch' during my next workout.	1.1667	0.03059	174	147	25	2
5298	We should have stayed away from jobs at the Brigitte Bardot foundation.	1.1667	0.02944	186	157	27	2
5299	Stop acting like an animal! We are a legit business.	1.1667	0.03296	180	155	20	5
5300	I support PETA, but this may be taking things a bit too far.	1.1667	0.03553	144	123	18	3
5301	Not to be racist, company has really gone to the dogs!	1.1667	0.03042	186	158	25	3
5302	Can you tell me again the nuanced meaning of ruff art?	1.1667	0.02944	186	157	27	2
5303	They're owners are Millennials.	1.1667	0.02993	156	130	26	0
5304	Is this a modern form of Noah's Ark???	1.1667	0.03136	186	159	23	4
5305	In these dog-eat-dog times, it was only a question of time!"	1.1667	0.03306	162	138	21	3
5306	I know pig latin, but these other languages are just gibberish.	1.1667	0.03188	162	137	23	2
5307	What’s next, lattes?	1.1667	0.03503	156	134	18	4
5308	you have to call the dogs out!	1.1667	0.03042	186	158	25	3
5309	So when do we get a leash?	1.1657	0.03184	181	155	22	4
5310	In dog bytes, don't we win by seven?	1.1657	0.02985	181	153	26	2
5311	The entire NSA has gone to the dogs! We' could be next...	1.1657	0.02880	181	152	28	1
5312	That little gecko brought in some friends.	1.1657	0.03252	175	150	21	4
5313	You know what's even crazier? We really don't live on a globe.	1.1657	0.03428	169	146	18	5
5314	I’m sorry, but I see a direct throughline from us letting them poop wherever they want to them using social media to share cartoons that explain what it’s really like to be an introvert.	1.1656	0.03048	163	137	25	1
5315	Ask the SPCA!	1.1656	0.03287	163	139	21	3
5316	Those dogwhistles are just killing my ears.	1.1656	0.03170	163	138	23	2
5317	They must be barking mad!	1.1656	0.03287	163	139	21	3
5318	I’m sorry Bo Peep, none of our sources - drones, satellite, or ground based cameras could find your sheep. But in all honesty, you shouldn’t have fallen asleep.	1.1656	0.03597	157	136	16	5
5319	You may step out, if you dislike artificial intelligence.	1.1656	0.03363	157	134	20	3
5320	Yes cliche’, but when the shoe fits, and yes, I am whispering, what does that make me?	1.1656	0.03444	151	129	19	3
5321	I feel totally disconnected....	1.1656	0.03444	151	129	19	3
5322	I say "dog gonnit"	1.1649	0.03216	194	168	20	6
5323	I! know they are dogs.	1.1649	0.03195	188	162	21	5
5324	I think that this work is for the dogs.	1.1648	0.02970	182	154	26	2
5325	DDate	1.1648	0.03070	182	155	24	3
5326	Why did we pay for those kennel extras?	1.1648	0.03027	176	149	25	2
5327	I can't believe I got my mother on that call	1.1648	0.03027	176	149	25	2
5328	All these dogs are making me so horny!	1.1648	0.03429	176	153	17	6
5329	What do you think of the new pet food website?	1.1648	0.03234	176	151	21	4
5330	I think we've entered an episode of The Real House Dog's of NewYork.	1.1647	0.03305	170	146	20	4
5331	Animal behavior is not appropriate.	1.1647	0.03409	170	147	18	5
5332	This one over here is writing to his Congressdog?!	1.1646	0.03268	164	140	21	3
5333	Not long before they replace us with more genius muttamaticians	1.1646	0.03152	164	139	23	2
5334	When did they stop serving coffee?	1.1646	0.03268	164	140	21	3
5335	Wasn't the 'No Pets' sign clear enough?	1.1644	0.04011	146	129	10	7
5336	So which weirdo are you stuck with?	1.1640	0.03179	189	163	21	5
5337	I think they're cheating!	1.1640	0.02997	189	161	25	3
5338	I'm telling you this place is going to the Dogs.	1.1639	0.03152	183	157	22	4
5339	This is like Animal House!	1.1639	0.03055	183	156	24	3
5340	Borzoi Russan breed isn't it?	1.1638	0.03116	177	151	23	3
5341	My students: “What do you mean the assignment was due last night?”	1.1637	0.03071	171	145	24	2
5342	These BCG consultants get more punchy every year	1.1637	0.03181	171	146	22	3
5343	Don’t ask me why they’re here, I have no idea.	1.1636	0.03470	165	143	17	5
5344	Hey, I know it makes our jobs harder, but don't blame me, I don't do the hiring around here.	1.1635	0.03075	159	134	24	1
5345	While they search online best friends, they see us as offline pals."	1.1634	0.03273	153	130	21	2
5346	I guess it's a “dog meet dog” world .	1.1632	0.03074	190	163	23	4
5347	Dang! Another account deactivation.	1.1630	0.03229	184	159	20	5
5348	I didn’t know they were bringing dogs in to actually work	1.1628	0.02941	172	145	26	1
5349	Unneutered dogs are fundraising for an anti-littering campaign?	1.1627	0.02997	166	140	25	1
5350	You know the guy next to you loves Rap music just like me!!	1.1627	0.03450	166	144	17	5
5351	The salaries here are okay—but the year-end bonus is paid in kibble.	1.1625	0.03534	160	139	16	5
5352	When did feminism go wrong?	1.1623	0.03381	154	132	19	3
5353	These coding jobs are really going to the dogs.	1.1623	0.02874	191	162	27	2
5354	They said it was elementary. I tried everything from K thru 8."	1.1623	0.03059	191	164	23	4
5355	It is a time to take the blue pill?	1.1622	0.03213	185	160	20	5
5356	It’s a Cockney, on the ‘dog and bone’ from London	1.1620	0.03184	179	154	21	4
5357	Call ASPCA!	1.1618	0.02926	173	146	26	1
5358	No, they don’t bite... but it does get a little weird when they giggle over those heckin’ cute hooman accounts.	1.1618	0.03649	136	117	16	3
5359	They say it's a dog whistle phrase. I don't get it, but Muffy won't come away from the computer!	1.1617	0.03100	167	142	23	2
5360	'They quit dog runs for Facebook.'	1.1617	0.03535	167	146	15	6
5361	'Meow too,' riiigh	1.1617	0.03324	167	144	19	4
5362	What't up with all the ruff language and park like atmosphere?	1.1615	0.03165	161	137	22	2
5363	I don't feel like we're getting closer to a unicorn.	1.1613	0.03102	155	131	23	1
5364	He says the Baha Men's deep cuts are overlooked.	1.1613	0.03102	155	131	23	1
5365	Spock IS dead. Long live Spock.	1.1611	0.03068	180	154	23	3
5366	It's the dog.com industry all over again	1.1611	0.03068	180	154	23	3
5367	I swear, this place is goin’ to the dogs.	1.1609	0.03235	174	150	20	4
5368	Is it just me or is Ad Sales totally hounding you over these slides?	1.1609	0.03022	174	148	24	2
5369	We're on a roll, the desk is about to corner the market in dog chow futures.	1.1609	0.03336	174	151	18	5
5370	Who let the dogs out?! You know, like the famous Baha Men song.	1.1607	0.03196	168	144	21	3
5371	These mother-ruffers are no help at all...	1.1607	0.03196	168	144	21	3
5372	This job is going to the dogs!	1.1605	0.02893	162	136	26	0
5373	Did you hear about AI dogs?	1.1605	0.03266	162	139	20	3
5374	I'm all for diversity but why can't they speak English?" "¿cómo?	1.1605	0.03147	162	138	22	2
5375	No. Let’s wait until we get home.	1.1602	0.03340	181	158	17	6
5376	Management wanted make sure we knew they were robots.	1.1602	0.03247	181	157	19	5
5377	Bizzfeed’s new hires sure are diverse	1.1600	0.03006	175	149	24	2
5378	They’ll get bored watching Daddy work from home.	1.1600	0.03114	175	150	22	3
5379	The new staff at Buzzfeed wasn't hitting off so well with the old-timers.	1.1598	0.03015	194	167	23	4
5380	The post modern library has people who don't even read.	1.1598	0.03179	169	145	21	3
5381	Its freezing in here.	1.1595	0.03362	163	141	18	4
5382	We gotta stop chatting like this.	1.1595	0.03006	163	138	24	1
5383	hey todd, what are you getting for lunch today? oh, dog food? again? yeah, me too. i fucking hate this office so much.	1.1592	0.03442	157	136	17	4
5384	It’s those Surfin’ Doggie biscuits...	1.1589	0.03268	151	129	20	2
5385	Who on earth hired the new organizational psychologist? I had heard about those new "workplace changes," but I didn't realize it would come to this!	1.1588	0.02933	170	144	25	1
5386	It's primarily a dog device so it might take us a while to achieve the zombie effect!	1.1588	0.03270	170	147	19	4
5387	Should I say something if I see and hear something?	1.1588	0.03374	170	148	17	5
5388	Really? Maybe start taking notes on how to sell dog food from the professionals!	1.1588	0.03374	170	148	17	5
5389	Dogversity 101 is a howl, Pooch.	1.1587	0.02869	189	161	26	2
5390	So this is the Millennial's version of Fetch?	1.1587	0.02869	189	161	26	2
5391	Apparently, it's a cost-catting move. Dogs don't destroy the mouses!	1.1586	0.03344	145	124	19	2
5392	I know they’re all dogs, but the Board of Education said we have to be inclusive and Old Mrs. Murcheson, the dog lady, started a big campaign.	1.1585	0.03229	164	141	20	3
5393	The Internet has evolved since 1993. Today, EVERYONE is a dog!	1.1585	0.03229	164	141	20	3
5394	I coulden’t help but overhear you weren’t talking about me	1.1585	0.03214	183	159	19	5
5395	I guess they wanted to check their social media accounts too!	1.1582	0.03048	158	134	23	1
5396	When are you gonna sign my Change.org petition to trade the Sackler family for Nipsey Hussle?	1.1579	0.02951	190	163	24	3
5397	Am I only the only one completely distracted by how loud he's playing his stupid baaadcast	1.1579	0.02755	190	161	28	1
5398	It's almost quitting time, let's blow this joint.	1.1576	0.03198	184	160	19	5
5399	You smell!	1.1576	0.03006	184	158	23	3
5400	How do I handle a ruff collar?	1.1574	0.02973	197	170	23	4
5401	It's a Dog-gone shame but they seem to taking over	1.1572	0.03283	159	137	19	3
5402	How did we end up in the Canine Computer Consortium?	1.1570	0.02902	172	146	25	1
5403	This is a case for the Canine Unit.	1.1564	0.03248	179	156	18	5
5404	I didn't realize that SPANIELS were allowed in the computer LAB too	1.1561	0.03000	173	148	23	2
5405	I'm all-in down with the dogs, dude. But they're all fierce and be like "beat the humans".	1.1561	0.03217	173	150	19	4
5406	Just because this is the Animal Planet website, doesn't mean we have to accept escape goats.	1.1561	0.03319	173	151	17	5
5407	The Information Highway has become the Information Barnyard!	1.1557	0.03175	167	144	20	3
5408	When did this become a zoo?	1.1557	0.02814	167	141	26	0
5409	The customers are saying it’s all doggerel.	1.1557	0.03287	167	145	18	4
5410	-Hey, Mary! This new online Farm Simulator 2019 game is very realistic! -I know, Jim!	1.1557	0.03175	167	144	20	3
5411	What does this say about OUR looks?	1.1557	0.03287	167	145	18	4
5412	Kitty, "Life on the grid in Silicon Valley will dog you out, Jack."	1.1553	0.03123	161	138	21	2
5413	Stop sending me emails to ask me if I willl go out to dinner with you!	1.1553	0.03245	161	139	19	3
5414	Are you sure that pet-friendly rehash of internet cafes from 90s are trending now?	1.1552	0.03094	174	150	21	3
5415	They're not paying me money, they just drop off a truckload of bones in front of my apartment complex once a month. I eat the bones but I can't use them for rent. I need money for rent.	1.1551	0.02863	187	160	25	2
5416	And what are you supposed to be? A mutt?	1.1551	0.02863	187	160	25	2
5417	New York? Isn't that the prehistoric name of Drumpfturmburg before Vattidon made das Prophettenorwellsfarmtraum come true, and where Falschliberalsozialistischmedia lied that Oppafred was born, instead in das Wunderbarneanderthaldrumpfsnarrendorf?	1.1551	0.03412	187	166	13	8
5418	What do you mean you don't speak Wookie?	1.1548	0.02915	155	131	24	0
5419	My Wi-Fi next quess is either Snoopy or Lassie... Already tried Fido...	1.1548	0.03269	168	146	18	4
5420	It's like this office is a petting zoo, #metoo.	1.1547	0.03118	181	157	20	4
5421	Okay, I get it... not to go on all fours; that is the "Law." But isn't "Are we not Men?" a bit gender biased?	1.1547	0.03018	181	156	22	3
5422	Finance have just hired an adder	1.1544	0.03397	149	129	17	3
5423	Ze dogs are speaking ze languageso of ze woof woof Doggie-pants (ho ho) French accent-o (ho ho)	1.1543	0.03226	162	140	19	3
5424	Everyone's streaming these days...	1.1543	0.03042	188	163	21	4
5425	This job is for the dogs!	1.1538	0.03251	169	147	18	4
5426	If they don't stop focusing on canis major, we'll never get anywhere.	1.1538	0.03171	156	134	20	2
5427	They’re just trying to scare us out of here	1.1538	0.03140	169	146	20	3
5428	Why do they win all the humor contests while we win zilch?	1.1538	0.03002	182	157	22	3
5429	It's the goat, I can't work beside him, the dude just smells awful!	1.1538	0.03251	169	147	18	4
5430	He said, "Bow."	1.1534	0.02841	176	150	25	1
5431	Flea collars? I don't see any, but I am getting am starting to feel itchy and when I ask Google, it just autocorrects to "flee".	1.1534	0.03087	163	140	21	2
5432	They say at best they may eventually yield Shakespeare and at worst their drafts are still more enjoyable to read.	1.1534	0.03087	163	140	21	2
5433	I don’t understand. What happened to our cubicle farms?	1.1531	0.03044	196	171	20	5
5434	I swear, they escaped from the backyard.	1.1530	0.02885	183	157	24	2
5435	If this is dog heaven	1.1530	0.02779	183	156	26	1
5436	I don't know how I'm supposed to help an emergency K-911 call if I don't speak Bark. Ugh. Riley called complaining about his owner's homework again.	1.1529	0.03233	170	148	18	4
5437	I thought they told us that if we didnt shape up we might be replaced by A.I., not mans best friend, dog-gone-it...and who is responsible for poop duty!	1.1529	0.03010	170	146	22	2
5438	Robot is the dogs name.	1.1525	0.03045	177	153	21	3
5439	We can't keep meeting like this.	1.1524	0.02945	164	140	23	1
5440	Stop bothering me!	1.1522	0.02870	184	158	24	2
5441	Did you know racism evolved to the corporate level?	1.1520	0.02876	171	146	24	1
5442	I can't take it anymore. All this barking and growling. This place is going to the dogs!	1.1517	0.03437	145	126	16	3
5443	The young athlete always played for his hometown team rather than moving to a larger city with a bigger team. He thought that it was better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.	1.1515	0.03286	165	144	17	4
5444	ugh, this place is going to the dogs	1.1515	0.03171	165	143	19	3
5445	It’s where all that beastiality comes from?	1.1515	0.03396	165	145	15	5
5446	What’s with all the coders?	1.1514	0.03055	185	161	20	4
5447	I knew the job involved horse-trading but this.....	1.1514	0.03055	185	161	20	4
5448	...all I'm saying is that I can't hear anything from his 'phones but I'm finding it difficult to concentrate over your death-glam playlist so please turn it down...	1.1512	0.03197	172	150	18	4
5449	These doggy smells are knocking me out!!	1.1512	0.03197	172	150	18	4
5450	Don't ask me. The Devil's in the details.	1.1512	0.02977	172	148	22	2
5451	I thought we signed up for a remake of Planet of the Cats?!	1.1510	0.03073	192	168	19	5
5452	I say "sit", I say "fetch", he does the same thing.	1.1509	0.03477	159	140	14	5
5453	We need 5G, their doggy porn is slowing down the wifi	1.1508	0.03116	179	156	19	4
5454	I don't understand why we hired Fido over there. I mean, he's such a dog.	1.1506	0.03377	166	146	15	5
5455	fucking animals!	1.1505	0.02942	186	161	22	3
5456	Noah's trying to hack us.?	1.1503	0.02845	173	148	24	1
5457	Their going crazy for it. Its that Instadog website that just went up.	1.1503	0.03180	173	151	18	4
5458	Looks like the dogs are waggin' the tales.	1.1500	0.02998	180	156	21	3
5459	Doesn't look like Mrs. Maisel to me.	1.1500	0.03294	180	159	15	6
5460	Boss is double SOB backwards.	1.1497	0.03024	187	163	20	4
5461	Just whats going on here ?	1.1494	0.03266	174	153	16	5
5462	Baha Men really were a one-hit wonder, huh?	1.1494	0.03266	174	153	16	5
5463	They must have thought the ad said “Hump and dump."	1.1492	0.03181	181	159	17	5
5464	I'v'e been thinking you're going to the dogs.	1.1492	0.03083	181	158	19	4
5465	Is this why they say ‘it’s a doggie dog world’?	1.1488	0.02881	168	144	23	1
5466	Wait - is “lassie” the name of a dog or sweetened buttermilk?	1.1488	0.03002	168	145	21	2
5467	They really need to fix the sound on these things.	1.1488	0.02881	168	144	23	1
5468	This is how you work two jobs!	1.1488	0.03118	168	146	19	3
5469	Really, this job has gone to the dogs.	1.1488	0.02881	168	144	23	1
5470	Now I've heard of a dog-eat-dog work place, but this is a bit over-the-top!	1.1486	0.02930	175	151	22	2
5471	There are too many damn fleas in here!	1.1486	0.03249	175	154	16	5
5472	Is the dog going to steel our job?	1.1484	0.03274	155	135	17	3
5473	We work?! We gossip!	1.1484	0.03274	155	135	17	3
5474	I know, he’s an animal!	1.1484	0.02863	182	157	23	2
5475	No, I will not dog-sit your Corgi!	1.1481	0.03302	162	142	16	4
5476	When they said it was a surl%22:%22https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons%22%2C%22sref%22:%22%22%2C%22sts%22:1554556021289%2C%22slts%22:0}	1.1481	0.02994	189	165	20	4
5477	An internet cafe? Seriously? What kind of girl do you think I am?	1.1480	0.03014	196	172	19	5
5478	The rate of pet adoptions has never been higher.	1.1480	0.03182	196	174	15	7
5479	And we’re only in the dog days of spring ...	1.1479	0.02865	169	145	23	1
5480	Hyper Speed Dating	1.1479	0.02985	169	146	21	2
5481	No, we don't have a "Himalayan Elk" consultant.....	1.1477	0.03330	176	156	14	6
5482	Dog tales?” I could’ve sworn Alexa said “Dog style!	1.1477	0.03231	176	155	16	5
5483	You know, The New Yorker Cartoons used to be classy and witty, but now they suck! It must be that the audience has completely degenerated. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do about it!	1.1474	0.03499	156	138	13	5
5484	Can you believe I got passed up for the promotion to chief barketing officer?	1.1474	0.02848	156	133	23	0
5485	They are definitely eating the dog food	1.1472	0.03044	163	141	20	2
5486	Is your machine running like a dog too?	1.1472	0.03166	163	142	18	3
5487	Woof, woof, woof.	1.1471	0.03302	170	150	15	5
5488	I'm not comfortable with the company you keep.	1.1469	0.03008	177	154	20	3
5489	The Postmaster General mentioned Pepper Spray in his Blog	1.1469	0.03113	177	155	18	4
5490	32 mbps or 4 megabites per second is doggoned good for this brow-wowser.	1.1467	0.02937	184	160	21	3
5491	You know what? These old computers have gone to the dogs.	1.1467	0.02727	184	158	25	1
5492	The humans are in a rough situation	1.1465	0.02972	157	135	21	1
5493	They are tying up the computer by hitting Animal House.	1.1462	0.02953	171	148	21	2
5494	We’re not only dogs. Haven’t you heard about the Me,too! movement?	1.1462	0.02953	171	148	21	2
5495	It is going to be difficult to stay competitive in this workplace without a paw glove for these keyboards.	1.1461	0.02992	178	155	20	3
5496	On the phone it sounded like we'd be working with kindergarten through ninth graders!	1.1461	0.02884	178	154	22	2
5497	At least he didn't take my chew toy.	1.1461	0.02992	178	155	20	3
5498	Are there any clients left which don't produce dog meat? I can't create another ad campaign for dry food!	1.1461	0.02772	178	153	24	1
5499	No. They just want dog biscuits.	1.1459	0.02819	185	160	23	2
5500	So this would be the difference between Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality, right? Bryan Mattimore Stamford, CT Bmattimore@growth-Engine.com	1.1459	0.03116	185	163	17	5
5501	You must admit it's ingenious, using wo/man's best friend for sales.	1.1459	0.02713	185	159	25	1
5502	Don’t Spots know that bots are right around the corner?	1.1455	0.03130	165	144	18	3
5503	Who let the dogs out We are outnumbered	1.1455	0.03010	165	143	20	2
5504	This dial-up internet is ruff.	1.1453	0.03468	172	154	11	7
5505	They're Anerdimals !	1.1453	0.02937	172	149	21	2
5506	After dinner; your blog or mine?	1.1453	0.02695	172	147	25	0
5507	Oh 'bow-wow' room. They said it was a boiler room!	1.1453	0.02976	179	156	20	3
5508	Woof woof grr woof.	1.1452	0.02700	186	160	25	1
5509	Between you and me--this place has gone to the Dogs (Is this hackneyed & simplistic enuf for NY'er CC judges? Not part of Caption	1.1448	0.03092	145	125	19	1
5510	You remind me of me	1.1446	0.02993	166	144	20	2
5511	That's why they call the virtual game, Best in Show!	1.1445	0.02921	173	150	21	2
5512	Look, I get that back in the 90's he was on a very famous TV show, but don't you think this is getting out of hand?	1.1444	0.02854	180	156	22	2
5513	Is that a baseball?	1.1444	0.03085	187	165	17	5
5514	I thought these dogs fetched.	1.1438	0.03052	160	139	19	2
5515	But they are competing with us for jobs!	1.1437	0.02976	167	145	20	2
5516	I’m ravenous and you’re sheepish?	1.1437	0.03017	174	152	19	3
5517	Well you’re the one who wanted a support computer.	1.1437	0.03126	174	153	17	4
5518	They're taking our jobs!	1.1437	0.03017	174	152	19	3
5519	Where are we? Meta ... meta world!	1.1436	0.02945	181	158	20	3
5520	I understand Buzzfeed wanting a "diverse workforce", but this is a little far.	1.1436	0.02839	181	157	22	2
5521	When you hear harking just hang up!	1.1429	0.02774	175	151	23	1
5522	Animal#youtoo	1.1429	0.02836	168	145	22	1
5523	They're woofing our asses!	1.1429	0.03159	161	141	17	3
5524	Whats more, he keeps forwarding his angry customers to me for damage-control"	1.1429	0.03001	175	153	19	3
5525	Wage gap with humans on the dog site.	1.1421	0.02701	183	158	24	1
5526	Thanks to artificial intelligence we’re next to be replaced with low wages labour	1.1420	0.03092	176	155	17	4
5527	Harriet could be quite bitchy at times.	1.1420	0.02943	169	147	20	2
5528	I think screen time addiction has gone too far. Let's get out of here and do something.	1.1420	0.03060	169	148	18	3
5529	It's okay to be a furry. Online everybody's doing it.	1.1414	0.03024	191	169	17	5
5530	We should earn more than just $19 per month.	1.1412	0.03156	170	150	16	4
5531	Bad timing Dan! Only “Dog Day Afternoon” is on.	1.1412	0.02927	170	148	20	2
5532	My headphones don't seem to be working.	1.1411	0.02870	163	141	21	1
5533	How might plant embodiment challenge the privileging of the animal?	1.1407	0.03352	135	118	15	2
5534	He keeps bugging me about why I be vegan.	1.1404	0.02844	178	155	21	2
5535	do you hear him? he keeps saying the n-word. but he's super good at gaming. should i say something?	1.1404	0.03138	171	151	16	4
5536	At least rosie doesn’t start eating your arm if	1.1402	0.03223	164	145	15	4
5537	This place has really 'gone to the dogs,' huh? Ha ha, but really I just wanted to let you know that your headphones are unplugged and everyone can hear your hentai.	1.1402	0.03105	164	144	17	3
5538	Sorry Ed, I don't have Pooch's password to make the fixes.	1.1401	0.03553	157	141	10	6
5539	But when I get home to you.	1.1399	0.02808	193	169	21	3
5540	Now i am releasing why all these cay videos get so many views!	1.1395	0.02650	172	148	24	0
5541	Without your avatar, you're no longer that appealing.	1.1395	0.03121	172	152	16	4
5542	I told you...these pets make great co-workers and help our workforce crunch too...	1.1389	0.02923	180	158	19	3
5543	Is there something I'm not hearing in this rhetoric?	1.1387	0.02760	173	150	22	1
5544	We should build a pen.	1.1386	0.02822	166	144	21	1
5545	Why do you think the site is swamped, Ralph? The ESA’s are printing their boarding passes!	1.1381	0.02800	181	158	21	2
5546	Dogwalking, gigital age	1.1381	0.03011	181	160	17	4
5547	My work ethic is dogged you jerk!	1.1379	0.02864	174	152	20	2
5548	I'm outta here. First they went to the dogs, and now it's goats. Start-ups use them for milk, feed, and fur after they belly-up.	1.1379	0.03087	174	154	16	4
5549	I guess there's a really lax dress code at this start-pup?	1.1379	0.03087	174	154	16	4
5550	If this is the new normal can we meet offline?	1.1378	0.02861	196	173	19	4
5551	We are losing our speed , we have to work in parks or something .	1.1375	0.02731	160	138	22	0
5552	This must be the additional crew who is handling that new animal dating app. I'm even more relieved now, than I was before, that I'm not the one who has to clean the bathrooms!	1.1371	0.02731	175	152	22	1
5553	I told her 'no woofin' offscreen'.	1.1371	0.02849	175	153	20	2
5554	Do I have to show you everything?	1.1371	0.03071	175	155	16	4
5555	Any idea of protocols at a humane society switchboard?	1.1369	0.02791	168	146	21	1
5556	I think those are noise canceling headphones- but on him they are a gruff look !	1.1369	0.02660	168	145	23	0
5557	I really need to pee.	1.1368	0.03006	190	169	16	5
5558	I told you this job was the dog's breakfast!	1.1366	0.02988	161	141	18	2
5559	This company really has gone to the dogs so quickly	1.1364	0.02833	176	154	20	2
5560	It’s a zoo outside AND inside, too!!!	1.1361	0.02897	191	169	18	4
5561	Have you already seen new potties?	1.1361	0.02900	169	148	19	2
5562	It's a dog's new world.	1.1361	0.03244	169	151	13	5
5563	Stop dreaming and start streaming."	1.1358	0.03218	162	144	14	4
5564	No, I definitely don’t want a second opinion.	1.1356	0.03038	177	157	16	4
5565	For our test, by any chance would you have a copy of the old textbook with the relevant pages dog-eared?	1.1353	0.02760	170	148	21	1
5566	No way that’s a unicorn, John. I think you’re overvaluing again.	1.1350	0.03079	163	144	16	3
5567	I can only find funny puppy videos. The computers are going to the dogs!	1.1350	0.03079	163	144	16	3
5568	I thought yesterday was make your dog work day?	1.1346	0.03162	156	138	15	3
5569	Jim,it’s your brother!	1.1341	0.02936	164	144	18	2
5570	Loop the command: 'Doggone! Doggone! Doggone!'	1.1341	0.02936	164	144	18	2
5571	the day before the dark one's arrival	1.1341	0.02674	179	156	22	1
5572	Animal Farm 2.0!	1.1340	0.02638	209	184	22	3
5573	At a dog's cafe, only the baristas get hurt.	1.1337	0.02730	172	150	21	1
5574	The Coffee-flavored Kibble here must be really good	1.1337	0.02820	187	165	19	3
5575	The worst part is that they work kibble	1.1333	0.03044	165	146	16	3
5576	The internet speed here seems dog slow.	1.1323	0.02582	189	165	23	1
5577	Summer School stinks! It really is the dog days of summer.	1.1322	0.02937	174	154	17	3
5578	So this is what you meant when you said,"We will Pound through this exam?	1.1322	0.03048	174	155	15	4
5579	So anyway, im a bit vanilla to be honest. Hebephilia is all I'm into. Nothing like these dog fuckers.	1.1321	0.03231	159	142	13	4
5580	Seriously, the scenery never changes around here.	1.1319	0.02746	182	160	20	2
5581	These animals are taking our jobs!	1.1316	0.02570	190	166	23	1
5582	The worst part is, the other girls here are all so mean to me, but they keep taking my compliments in stride!	1.1307	0.02672	176	154	21	1
5583	dumb	1.1307	0.03015	176	157	15	4
5584	Global warming, we're descending down the food chain.	1.1304	0.02606	184	161	22	1
5585	I know this job is Roff, but you don’t have to bark at me.	1.1304	0.02940	161	142	17	2
5586	What’s next? Singularity?	1.1304	0.02606	184	161	22	1
5587	He said they are wearing Doggie Diapers...	1.1304	0.02805	161	141	19	1
5588	HEY ?! Your headphones aren't plugged in !	1.1294	0.02839	170	150	18	2
5589	Someone Set Fire to all the toll booths at 60th street again... 3rd Time this week.	1.1290	0.02996	155	137	16	2
5590	Psst, the new C.A.I. research team, (Canine Artificial Intelligence)". John Curliano, Alameda, C	1.1288	0.02906	163	144	17	2
5591	Working here is like working in a barn	1.1287	0.03057	171	153	14	4
5592	They've done their morning walk. They say it is the Canine Computer Corps turn.	1.1280	0.02756	164	144	19	1
5593	Yeah, but _we're_ both on the Internet....	1.1278	0.02733	180	159	19	2
5594	SIR IS THIS OFFICE OR STUDIO OF DISNEYLAND FULL WITH CHARACTERS	1.1278	0.02733	180	159	19	2
5595	I thought one dog was supposed to protect the computers!	1.1275	0.02742	149	130	19	0
5596	How do I know? I don't speak ferret	1.1266	0.02942	158	140	16	2
5597	But everything works with a credit card.	1.1265	0.02856	166	147	17	2
5598	They call it puppy love	1.1258	0.03057	159	142	14	3
5599	Oh, I think I’ve heard this one	1.1257	0.02573	167	146	21	0
5600	Did you see the Slack that Buster just sent?	1.1250	0.02824	168	149	17	2
5601	Now rheyr	1.1250	0.02890	184	165	15	4
5602	A Goat....	1.1243	0.02663	185	164	19	2
5603	My neighbour is a total dogsbody.	1.1243	0.02733	177	157	18	2
5604	Let's get back to MARS.	1.1242	0.03147	161	145	12	4
5605	Helter skelter, etc.	1.1237	0.02861	186	167	15	4
5606	I am dog tired of this fast band internet at work. All I get at home is slow speed. Why do I have to work faster?	1.1234	0.03363	154	140	9	5
5607	I don't know. I'm from upwork	1.1231	0.02771	195	175	16	4
5608	Hey, I can't concentrate with your singing!	1.1227	0.02856	163	145	16	2
5609	Did you just grope me electronically?	1.1217	0.02915	189	171	13	5
5610	It sure can be dog ruff working here.	1.1211	0.02487	190	168	21	1
5611	What are we, a couple of DOGS?!	1.1203	0.03026	158	142	13	3
5612	Even with his headphones on, I can still here is music.	1.1203	0.03026	158	142	13	3
5613	And I thought my wife was bad	1.1203	0.02747	158	140	17	1
5614	The boss is NOT a man-hater. She never told me, "There's a good dog," either.	1.1200	0.02593	175	155	19	1
5615	Mom wants to know, boil or just simmer?	1.1198	0.02675	192	172	17	3
5616	Where’s all this noise coming from.”	1.1198	0.02675	192	172	17	3
5617	In my interview, I told the boss I had 12 dogs so I had to prove it	1.1198	0.02918	167	150	14	3
5618	My uncle called to ask if he could borrow my anteater.	1.1197	0.02911	142	126	15	1
5619	He keeps mumbling about a battle bus and his sand box	1.1195	0.03008	159	143	13	3
5620	They’ re looking for a dog’s dinner.	1.1193	0.02702	176	157	17	2
5621	He wants to know who's on first?	1.1192	0.02662	193	173	17	3
5622	I got one of Trump's tweets..Should I answer it...What would Nancy do ?	1.1189	0.02621	185	165	18	2
5623	Hey stop it - this isn’t a dog bar.	1.1186	0.02688	177	158	17	2
5624	Who’s idea was it to be a moderator for the /r/aww, cute animal subreddit?	1.1186	0.02566	177	157	19	1
5625	Thank god A.I. has gone to the dogs, we can take more breaks & chat ...!	1.1183	0.02760	169	151	16	2
5626	I don't care who our customers are---no one else here has to speak Goldfish!	1.1180	0.02972	161	145	13	3
5627	humans speaking ill of the animals that are with them	1.1180	0.02839	161	144	15	2
5628	Random In-counter	1.1176	0.02869	170	153	14	3
5629	Now we will have to work like dogs man But we are going to be controlled as puppies man we are in a rough situation	1.1176	0.02869	170	153	14	3
5630	Let's get out of this work cage and visit the local zoo!	1.1173	0.02539	179	159	19	1
5631	Its those kebbles.	1.1167	0.02646	180	161	17	2
5632	I’m never going to that loyal to this place.	1.1166	0.03064	163	148	11	4
5633	Woof, woof?	1.1166	0.02806	163	146	15	2
5634	Freddie, I feel we'll be found out and second. You should have let Scooby and Shaggy infiltrate the Dog Troll farm feeding disinformation to the local community	1.1163	0.02955	172	156	12	4
5635	You should the lady's room	1.1158	0.02556	190	170	18	2
5636	-John, why Frankie is so silent this week? -His wife left him for some hound she met in the park.	1.1154	0.02618	182	163	17	2
5637	Seriously, you don't get the connection? The new Dogged building?	1.1152	0.02493	165	146	19	0
5638	Son!	1.1146	0.02853	157	141	14	2
5639	This life science class is so life like ! Donna, aircard@yahoo.com	1.1146	0.02420	192	171	20	1
5640	My cell phone does work. What should I do?	1.1139	0.03107	158	144	10	4
5641	CI should be smart enough to lose the flees!	1.1136	0.02656	176	158	16	2
5642	Dude, if we keep going like this we’ll go to the dogs!	1.1135	0.02461	185	165	19	1
5643	I know what you're going to say. Duh.	1.1131	0.02592	168	150	17	1
5644	Excuse me, Larry, but this are some very weird-looking professors.	1.1130	0.02386	177	157	20	0
5645	We just won't bray next time.	1.1130	0.02761	177	160	14	3
5646	I tell you it's a dog eat dog world!	1.1124	0.02578	169	151	17	1
5647	I thought I'd be working with KENDALL Jenner.	1.1111	0.02600	180	162	16	2
5648	Antithesis	1.1111	0.02635	189	171	15	3
5649	I thought the boss was joking (-_- )	1.1105	0.02586	181	163	16	2
5650	I heard they’re going to start hiring cats next. They think cats are purrfect.	1.1099	0.02573	182	164	16	2
5651	what? I've been playing fortnite, not looking up. not sure what I expected...	1.1078	0.02552	167	150	16	1
5652	Stop what you are doing to me!	1.1065	0.02524	169	152	16	1
5653	That booking sheet has saved us a ton of Windex!	1.1061	0.02441	179	161	17	1
5654	These are the new freshmen Q Dawgs	1.1061	0.02441	179	161	17	1
5655	Fido over here isn’t so much letting the cat out of the bag as he is their whimpers blast out from his headphones...if you know what I mean.	1.1059	0.02510	170	153	16	1
5656	I can’t believe how many dogs we got doing manual chores? I gotta wander if they aren’t bored. And what’s this one beside me with the earphones, never seen a dog wearing one yet. Is this place going to the dogs, or what?	1.1059	0.02510	170	153	16	1
5657	Yeah...Wwoofing sound's great, but I don't think I can commit to the workload.	1.1053	0.02630	171	155	14	2
5658	What should we order out for break time?	1.1040	0.02264	202	182	19	1
5659	Did you think our high school internships meant a whole summer repeating "Thank God for MeToo"?	1.1030	0.02802	165	151	11	3
5660	CHAOS IN LIBRARY	1.1030	0.02525	165	149	15	1
5661	Solved an SDRAM timing glitch and got one of the platform's iconic games to run by moving to FX68k.	1.1006	0.02468	169	153	15	1
5662	Who cares if they like cooking shows - they don’t choose cable packages!	1.1000	0.02377	180	163	16	1
5663	Birds do it. Bees do it. Next stops pets and barnyard animals	1.1000	0.02689	160	146	12	2
5664	I think they are on to something! They	1.1000	0.02539	160	145	14	1
5665	They are are stuck on "dI",whatever that means	1.0982	0.02642	163	149	12	2
5666	Hey, Debra. Can I use your HBO account to watch Game of Thrones?"	1.0973	0.02557	185	170	12	3
5667	Another dog day afternoon John - check out the pet stores!	1.0950	0.02196	200	182	17	1
5668	I was told we're selling cat food.	1.0943	0.02646	159	146	11	2
5669	Dan I am so worried the boss is going to fire me because I forgot to turn in my daily reports three days in a row!	1.0932	0.02298	161	146	15	0
5670	Did you clean the litter box?	1.0884	0.02350	147	134	13	0
5671	We call is smello-vision. They sniff the screen all day and save you money on dog food.	1.0882	0.02182	170	155	15	0
5672	Quick, reboot	1.0842	0.02398	190	177	10	3
5673	Are they hiring dogs to replace Humans?	1.0839	0.02234	155	142	13	0
5674	I do want the experience of game days, partying...I don’t really care about learning”	1.0839	0.02739	155	145	7	3
5675	Just tell me the date and can press next!	1.0805	0.02223	174	161	12	1
5676	Live Rep call centers of the future.	1.0787	0.02023	178	164	14	0
5677	Did you hear we're going to make $15 bucks an hour!" Joe Pitts, Washington, D	1.0734	0.02123	177	165	11	1
5678	There’s dogs working faith us?	1.0727	0.02364	165	155	8	2
5679	Your coding offends me. You should know how I feel.	1.0702	0.02128	171	160	10	1
5680	Try and see what my Sugar is accessing.	1.0659	0.01925	167	156	11	0
5681	Your not showing enough support for the competition please refrain foom speaking against trum	1.0612	0.01984	147	138	9	0
5682	Cut it out!	1.0546	0.01685	183	173	10	0

Contest #658

Cartoon

The winning captions

Dashboard