These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2019-02-24T22:52:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2019-03-10T21:54:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2019-03-04T22:53:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | March 11, 2019 |
Number of captions | 9250 |
Number of responses | 2249813 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | No need to panic: a reptile dysfunction is common for men of your age. | 1.7716 | 0.05580 | 232 | 116 | 53 | 63 |
1 | I usually don't say this to men.....How far apart are the contractions? | 1.7673 | 0.05544 | 245 | 127 | 48 | 70 |
2 | You have a reptile dysfunction. | 1.7489 | 0.05397 | 235 | 117 | 60 | 58 |
3 | I’m afraid you have a reptile dysfunction. | 1.7266 | 0.04936 | 267 | 133 | 74 | 60 |
4 | What we have here is a reptile dysfuntion. | 1.7216 | 0.05201 | 255 | 133 | 60 | 62 |
5 | Oh, a REPTILE dysfunction... | 1.6827 | 0.05024 | 271 | 149 | 59 | 63 |
6 | Reptile Disfunction is very common in men your age. | 1.6822 | 0.05221 | 236 | 125 | 61 | 50 |
7 | I'm afraid it's a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6789 | 0.05459 | 246 | 142 | 41 | 63 |
8 | How long between contractions? | 1.6746 | 0.05549 | 209 | 112 | 53 | 44 |
9 | Looks like a reptile dysfunction | 1.6629 | 0.04945 | 267 | 147 | 63 | 57 |
10 | I’m afraid you’ve got reptile dysfunction. | 1.6627 | 0.05097 | 252 | 139 | 59 | 54 |
11 | Not to worry. Reptile dysfunction is highly treatable. | 1.6624 | 0.05365 | 237 | 134 | 49 | 54 |
12 | Okay. Now YOU stick out your tongue. | 1.6569 | 0.04994 | 239 | 126 | 69 | 44 |
13 | Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover reptile dysfunction. | 1.6559 | 0.05063 | 247 | 135 | 62 | 50 |
14 | Reptile Dysfunction is common in men your age. | 1.6553 | 0.04972 | 264 | 147 | 61 | 56 |
15 | Relax, it's common for men of your age to have reptile dysfunction. | 1.6540 | 0.05453 | 211 | 115 | 54 | 42 |
16 | Give the snake two viagra and it will straighten out in about fifteen minutes. | 1.6454 | 0.04612 | 282 | 152 | 78 | 52 |
17 | Your wife was right. You have a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6387 | 0.04949 | 274 | 159 | 55 | 60 |
18 | Oh! You're here to get treated for REPTILE dysfunction. | 1.6386 | 0.05145 | 249 | 143 | 53 | 53 |
19 | I'll write you something for reptile dysfunction. | 1.6364 | 0.04906 | 264 | 149 | 62 | 53 |
20 | I understand you have concerns about a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6356 | 0.05458 | 225 | 131 | 45 | 49 |
21 | Reptile dysfunction. | 1.6293 | 0.05186 | 232 | 131 | 56 | 45 |
22 | How far apart are the contractions ? | 1.6292 | 0.05114 | 240 | 136 | 57 | 47 |
23 | Just as I thought..you are suffering from a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6292 | 0.05181 | 240 | 138 | 53 | 49 |
24 | No, a heart attack feels more like an elephant sitting on your chest. | 1.6265 | 0.04900 | 249 | 138 | 66 | 45 |
25 | It could be reptile dysfunction | 1.6214 | 0.05203 | 243 | 143 | 49 | 51 |
26 | Nice try, but I'm still going to check your prostate. | 1.6207 | 0.04755 | 261 | 145 | 70 | 46 |
27 | It’s a cute reptile dysfunction. What did you think I said? | 1.6190 | 0.05178 | 231 | 132 | 55 | 44 |
28 | You have symptoms of a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6179 | 0.04802 | 280 | 164 | 59 | 57 |
29 | It appears that you're suffering from a reptile disfunction. | 1.6176 | 0.05525 | 238 | 149 | 31 | 58 |
30 | I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. It's endangered. | 1.6165 | 0.04565 | 266 | 144 | 80 | 42 |
31 | You have an overactive adder. | 1.6164 | 0.05214 | 219 | 123 | 57 | 39 |
32 | It's just a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6102 | 0.05089 | 254 | 152 | 49 | 53 |
33 | "It's just reptile dysfunction. Nothing to be embarrassed about." | 1.6085 | 0.05188 | 235 | 138 | 51 | 46 |
34 | Don’t tell me. You ordered from the wrong Amazon. | 1.6062 | 0.05094 | 226 | 128 | 59 | 39 |
35 | The good news is we can safely remove the snake. The bad news is those aren't your legs. | 1.6059 | 0.05137 | 236 | 138 | 53 | 45 |
36 | Release ten mice in your living room and call me in the morning. | 1.6057 | 0.04798 | 246 | 137 | 69 | 40 |
37 | Says here you’re covered by COBRA? | 1.6053 | 0.05059 | 228 | 129 | 60 | 39 |
38 | I’ll give you something for a reptile dysfunction. | 1.6048 | 0.05035 | 248 | 146 | 54 | 48 |
39 | Worst case of Reptile Dysfunction I've come across. | 1.6035 | 0.05079 | 227 | 129 | 59 | 39 |
40 | You have a classic case of reptile dysfunction. | 1.6035 | 0.05304 | 227 | 135 | 47 | 45 |
41 | How often are the contractions? | 1.6016 | 0.04767 | 246 | 137 | 70 | 39 |
42 | It’s going around. | 1.6008 | 0.04589 | 263 | 146 | 76 | 41 |
43 | How frequent are the contractions? | 1.5992 | 0.04729 | 262 | 150 | 67 | 45 |
44 | And how far apart are the contractions? | 1.5967 | 0.05125 | 243 | 146 | 49 | 48 |
45 | Here’s a prescription for your reptile disfunction. | 1.5958 | 0.04866 | 240 | 136 | 65 | 39 |
46 | Looks as if you may have picked up a little something during your trip to Florida. | 1.5943 | 0.04733 | 244 | 136 | 71 | 37 |
47 | My bad. I meant to prescribe a vasoconstrictor. | 1.5938 | 0.04757 | 256 | 147 | 66 | 43 |
48 | Luckily, you're covered by Cobra. | 1.5927 | 0.05012 | 248 | 148 | 53 | 47 |
49 | Next time, try ordering from Amazon, not from THE Amazon. | 1.5907 | 0.04808 | 237 | 133 | 68 | 36 |
50 | Nice try. I still have to do the prostate exam.” | 1.5906 | 0.04918 | 254 | 151 | 56 | 47 |
51 | Come back when contractions are two minutes apart. | 1.5903 | 0.05203 | 227 | 135 | 50 | 42 |
52 | Last week it was a frog in your throat. | 1.5902 | 0.04525 | 266 | 149 | 77 | 40 |
53 | I’m writing you a prescription for reptile dysfunction. | 1.5889 | 0.04903 | 253 | 150 | 57 | 46 |
54 | It's clearly Ereptile Disfunction. | 1.5887 | 0.05132 | 231 | 137 | 52 | 42 |
55 | Well, I’d say it’s quite likely you have irritable boa syndrome. | 1.5880 | 0.04987 | 233 | 135 | 59 | 39 |
56 | It appears to be Reptile Dysfunction. | 1.5875 | 0.04779 | 257 | 150 | 63 | 44 |
57 | I can see here that you’re covered by COBRA. | 1.5871 | 0.04860 | 264 | 159 | 55 | 50 |
58 | I see that you're covered by COBRA. | 1.5848 | 0.05148 | 224 | 132 | 53 | 39 |
59 | I believe that you suffer from a reptile dysfunction, Mr. Collins. | 1.5840 | 0.05113 | 250 | 155 | 44 | 51 |
60 | And now, how far apart are the contractions? | 1.5811 | 0.04699 | 265 | 156 | 64 | 45 |
61 | You have a reptile dysfunction. Luckily, your COBRA covers it. | 1.5810 | 0.04844 | 253 | 150 | 59 | 44 |
62 | Looks like irritable boa syndrome. | 1.5809 | 0.04896 | 241 | 141 | 60 | 40 |
63 | Your insurance only pays if the snake bites, so let’s give it ten more minutes. | 1.5804 | 0.05228 | 224 | 135 | 48 | 41 |
64 | So how far apart are the contractions, would you say? | 1.5769 | 0.04774 | 260 | 155 | 60 | 45 |
65 | I see here that you're covered by COBRA | 1.5766 | 0.05087 | 248 | 154 | 45 | 49 |
66 | The good news is they sometimes go months without eating." | 1.5761 | 0.04833 | 243 | 142 | 62 | 39 |
67 | Which one of you is having difficulty swallowing? | 1.5759 | 0.04658 | 257 | 149 | 68 | 40 |
68 | So, it started with a frog in your throat ... | 1.5748 | 0.04768 | 254 | 150 | 62 | 42 |
69 | This is a classic case of a reptile disfunction. | 1.5747 | 0.04730 | 261 | 155 | 62 | 44 |
70 | It was supposed to be a vasoconstrictor. Sometimes they have problems with the handwriting. | 1.5737 | 0.04912 | 251 | 152 | 54 | 45 |
71 | Actually, I'd prefer that your lawyer wait outside. | 1.5733 | 0.05125 | 232 | 141 | 49 | 42 |
72 | I see you have a pre-existing constriction... | 1.5732 | 0.04934 | 239 | 142 | 57 | 40 |
73 | You can go home for now, but come back when the contractions are less than a minute apart. | 1.5714 | 0.04760 | 259 | 155 | 60 | 44 |
74 | You have irritable Boa syndrome. | 1.5703 | 0.04885 | 263 | 163 | 50 | 50 |
75 | The good news is you’re covered by COBRA. | 1.5699 | 0.04491 | 272 | 158 | 73 | 41 |
76 | Sorry about your cat. | 1.5684 | 0.04758 | 234 | 134 | 67 | 33 |
77 | I am going to write you a prescription for reptile dysfunction. | 1.5680 | 0.05059 | 250 | 157 | 44 | 49 |
78 | Unfortunately, this is not covered by your COBRA insurance. | 1.5660 | 0.05351 | 212 | 130 | 44 | 38 |
79 | Come back when constrictions are 2 to 3 minutes apart. | 1.5657 | 0.04751 | 251 | 149 | 62 | 40 |
80 | The good news is that the hissing you’ve been hearing isn’t tinnitus. | 1.5657 | 0.04475 | 251 | 141 | 78 | 32 |
81 | Until you get swallowed, it's considered a pre-existing condition. | 1.5652 | 0.04853 | 253 | 154 | 55 | 44 |
82 | You need to unwind. | 1.5639 | 0.04318 | 266 | 149 | 84 | 33 |
83 | Don't let this rattle you, but what you are experiencing is a reptile dysfunction." | 1.5625 | 0.05029 | 240 | 148 | 49 | 43 |
84 | The X-rays are back and the good news is we've found your kids | 1.5620 | 0.04780 | 258 | 157 | 57 | 44 |
85 | Endangered species. My hands are tied. | 1.5620 | 0.04780 | 258 | 157 | 57 | 44 |
86 | I see you're still covered by COBRA. | 1.5617 | 0.05079 | 235 | 145 | 48 | 42 |
87 | Looks like a case of reptile dysfunction | 1.5615 | 0.04861 | 244 | 147 | 57 | 40 |
88 | I'm sorry, Mr. Jones. It looks like you have a case of reptile dysfunction. | 1.5602 | 0.05048 | 241 | 150 | 47 | 44 |
89 | Nothing for you but, I'm prescribing a muscle relaxer for your friend. | 1.5602 | 0.04637 | 266 | 160 | 63 | 43 |
90 | I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover reptile dysfunction! | 1.5584 | 0.05040 | 231 | 141 | 51 | 39 |
91 | It's a classic case of ereptile dysfunction | 1.5582 | 0.04717 | 249 | 148 | 63 | 38 |
92 | Luckily, you're covered under COBRA. | 1.5572 | 0.04630 | 271 | 165 | 61 | 45 |
93 | Sorry , you're not covered for prexisting constrictions. | 1.5564 | 0.04608 | 266 | 160 | 64 | 42 |
94 | I’ll need you to hiss in this cup. | 1.5546 | 0.04852 | 238 | 143 | 58 | 37 |
95 | Hmm, unfortunately it looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.5541 | 0.04929 | 231 | 139 | 56 | 36 |
96 | It looks likes a snake, but I'm going to schedule a pet scan just to be sure. | 1.5541 | 0.04891 | 231 | 138 | 58 | 35 |
97 | Don’t be ashamed, Ereptile Dysfunction is more common than you would think | 1.5538 | 0.04791 | 251 | 153 | 57 | 41 |
98 | I’m afraid we don’t cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.5527 | 0.04942 | 237 | 145 | 53 | 39 |
99 | Vick's Viper rub should do the trick. | 1.5526 | 0.04941 | 228 | 137 | 56 | 35 |
100 | It's completely normal Mr. Richards...lots of men your age suffer from reptile dysfunction. | 1.5525 | 0.05058 | 219 | 132 | 53 | 34 |
101 | Nice try, but I am still going to do your prostate exam. | 1.5523 | 0.04980 | 239 | 148 | 50 | 41 |
102 | I see you’re covered under COBRA | 1.5523 | 0.05051 | 239 | 150 | 46 | 43 |
103 | I see you're covered by COBRA. | 1.5519 | 0.04878 | 241 | 147 | 55 | 39 |
104 | It says here you are covered by Cobra. | 1.5514 | 0.04881 | 243 | 149 | 54 | 40 |
105 | I thought a reptile dysfunction was misspelled. | 1.5508 | 0.05067 | 236 | 148 | 46 | 42 |
106 | Actually, this is the one thing your plan does cover. | 1.5500 | 0.04786 | 240 | 144 | 60 | 36 |
107 | Let's talk about your COBRA coverage. | 1.5481 | 0.04911 | 239 | 147 | 53 | 39 |
108 | So I see you have cobra insurance. | 1.5481 | 0.05052 | 239 | 151 | 45 | 43 |
109 | As soon as she’s done taking your blood pressure, she’ll do the prostate check. | 1.5473 | 0.04705 | 243 | 145 | 63 | 35 |
110 | No, a heart attack feels more like an elephant on your chest. | 1.5455 | 0.04423 | 253 | 146 | 76 | 31 |
111 | And when was his last meal? | 1.5451 | 0.04746 | 233 | 138 | 63 | 32 |
112 | The pharmacist must have misread the type of vasoconstrictor I was prescribing. | 1.5447 | 0.04792 | 235 | 141 | 60 | 34 |
113 | Not quite the COBRA coverage you expected from your former employer? | 1.5441 | 0.04744 | 261 | 163 | 54 | 44 |
114 | Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.5433 | 0.04685 | 254 | 155 | 60 | 39 |
115 | Unfortunately, I see you only have COBRA insurance. | 1.5411 | 0.04896 | 231 | 141 | 55 | 35 |
116 | Have you tried vigorously twirling counterclockwise? | 1.5372 | 0.04463 | 242 | 140 | 74 | 28 |
117 | Bad news, I'm afraid. Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.5365 | 0.04903 | 233 | 144 | 53 | 36 |
118 | And then she just left you two in the garden? | 1.5365 | 0.04827 | 233 | 142 | 57 | 34 |
119 | The good news is that the frog in your throat is no longer a problem. | 1.5363 | 0.04741 | 248 | 153 | 57 | 38 |
120 | It's probably just an anaconda, but we'll want to run some tests. | 1.5357 | 0.04440 | 252 | 148 | 73 | 31 |
121 | Well, Adam, your insurance says Original Sin is a preexisting condition. | 1.5347 | 0.04821 | 245 | 153 | 53 | 39 |
122 | Well, the tests confirmed you are suffering from Irritable Boa Syndrome. | 1.5347 | 0.04572 | 245 | 146 | 67 | 32 |
123 | Your snake's fine. I just want to remind you again that there is no need to take your clothes off at a veterinarian's office. | 1.5342 | 0.05065 | 219 | 136 | 49 | 34 |
124 | Let me know when the contractions are a about a minute apart. | 1.5339 | 0.04947 | 221 | 135 | 54 | 32 |
125 | It appears you have ereptile dysfunction. | 1.5331 | 0.04678 | 257 | 160 | 57 | 40 |
126 | You say you're covered by COBRA? | 1.5325 | 0.04782 | 231 | 140 | 59 | 32 |
127 | So, which one of you is Howard? | 1.5322 | 0.04866 | 233 | 144 | 54 | 35 |
128 | I think you misunderstood when your employer told you that you were going to need COBRA coverage. | 1.5316 | 0.04913 | 237 | 149 | 50 | 38 |
129 | Are you still covered by COBRA? | 1.5314 | 0.04490 | 271 | 167 | 64 | 40 |
130 | When the contractions are two minutes apart, you probably ought to go to the hospital. | 1.5310 | 0.04599 | 258 | 159 | 61 | 38 |
131 | ‘The good news is that you’re fully covered by your cobra plan.’ | 1.5304 | 0.04993 | 230 | 145 | 48 | 37 |
132 | First, let’s order a PET scan. | 1.5299 | 0.04455 | 251 | 149 | 71 | 31 |
133 | Is this new or a preexisting constriction? | 1.5287 | 0.04292 | 261 | 153 | 78 | 30 |
134 | And I see you're now covered by COBRA. | 1.5284 | 0.05010 | 229 | 145 | 47 | 37 |
135 | I see your COBRA's kicked in. | 1.5276 | 0.04589 | 254 | 156 | 62 | 36 |
136 | Let me know when the contractions come five minutes apart. | 1.5273 | 0.04595 | 256 | 158 | 61 | 37 |
137 | I'm referring you to a mongoose. | 1.5259 | 0.04631 | 251 | 155 | 60 | 36 |
138 | Okay, let's go over it again: You swallowed a spider to catch the fly... | 1.5254 | 0.04706 | 236 | 144 | 60 | 32 |
139 | Just checking my records. Are you still covered by COBRA? | 1.5253 | 0.04581 | 257 | 159 | 61 | 37 |
140 | I’m writing you a prescription for your ereptile dysfunction. | 1.5251 | 0.05230 | 219 | 142 | 39 | 38 |
141 | I think we'll skip the prostate exam this time" | 1.5250 | 0.04684 | 240 | 147 | 60 | 33 |
142 | EREPTILE Dysfunction! Ha ha, get it? But seriously, get it off. | 1.5250 | 0.04867 | 240 | 152 | 50 | 38 |
143 | It's nothing serious, just something that's going around. | 1.5250 | 0.04794 | 240 | 150 | 54 | 36 |
144 | It’s “Adam”, right? | 1.5249 | 0.04823 | 221 | 134 | 58 | 29 |
145 | How much longer do you have Cobra coverage? | 1.5248 | 0.04940 | 242 | 156 | 45 | 41 |
146 | Sarah, call Mrs. Blakely, tell her her snake is fine, and we found her husband. | 1.5244 | 0.04739 | 246 | 154 | 55 | 37 |
147 | You definitely picked something up on your trip to South America. | 1.5236 | 0.04487 | 254 | 154 | 67 | 33 |
148 | I'm not sure COBRA covers this. | 1.5232 | 0.04805 | 237 | 148 | 54 | 35 |
149 | My hands are tied - it’s a protected species. | 1.5230 | 0.04662 | 239 | 146 | 61 | 32 |
150 | It's coilitis. | 1.5227 | 0.04520 | 264 | 164 | 62 | 38 |
151 | I’m going to have you stand and turn counterclockwise 4 times as fast as you can | 1.5212 | 0.04319 | 259 | 154 | 75 | 30 |
152 | I see that you’re fully covered by COBRA. | 1.5212 | 0.04748 | 259 | 167 | 49 | 43 |
153 | I'm sorry, but your health plan doesn't cover reptile dysfunction. | 1.5212 | 0.04932 | 236 | 151 | 47 | 38 |
154 | Sooo....what brings you in today? | 1.5208 | 0.04534 | 240 | 144 | 67 | 29 |
155 | I'm calling it 'constricted bowel' for insurance purposes. | 1.5208 | 0.04610 | 240 | 146 | 63 | 31 |
156 | Sorry to say, but I think it’s e-boa. | 1.5206 | 0.04289 | 267 | 160 | 75 | 32 |
157 | Ereptile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed about. | 1.5205 | 0.04858 | 219 | 134 | 56 | 29 |
158 | You came to the right place, reptile dysfunction is my specialty. | 1.5190 | 0.04386 | 289 | 183 | 62 | 44 |
159 | I’m sorry sir, but your insurance doesn’t cover pre-existing constrictions | 1.5190 | 0.04843 | 237 | 150 | 51 | 36 |
160 | Please stick out your other tongue. | 1.5189 | 0.04457 | 264 | 163 | 65 | 36 |
161 | I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. It’s on the endangered species list. | 1.5188 | 0.04663 | 239 | 147 | 60 | 32 |
162 | You have Reptile Dysfunction. I'm prescribing Snake Oil, which is covered by TrumpCare. | 1.5187 | 0.04653 | 268 | 173 | 51 | 44 |
163 | To my utter surprise, this IS actually covered under your plan. | 1.5172 | 0.04496 | 261 | 162 | 63 | 36 |
164 | Ironically, your COBRA coverage just ran out. | 1.5171 | 0.04816 | 234 | 147 | 53 | 34 |
165 | So the tests all came back positive. It is a snake. | 1.5168 | 0.04753 | 238 | 149 | 55 | 34 |
166 | What brings you in today? | 1.5164 | 0.04841 | 244 | 157 | 48 | 39 |
167 | Just a mild case of viper tension. | 1.5153 | 0.04778 | 229 | 142 | 56 | 31 |
168 | Now let me get this straight: You were in this garden with a naked woman eating apples .... | 1.5145 | 0.04744 | 241 | 152 | 54 | 35 |
169 | So I see you're here for ereptile disfunction | 1.5143 | 0.04720 | 245 | 155 | 54 | 36 |
170 | I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.5141 | 0.04662 | 249 | 157 | 56 | 36 |
171 | Yes, we've being seeing a lot of Irritable Boa Syndrome this season. | 1.5141 | 0.04696 | 249 | 158 | 54 | 37 |
172 | Sir, ereptile dysfunction is not my area of expertise | 1.5127 | 0.04631 | 236 | 145 | 61 | 30 |
173 | This thing has been going around. | 1.5126 | 0.04640 | 238 | 147 | 60 | 31 |
174 | This isn’t covered under COBRA. | 1.5126 | 0.04864 | 238 | 153 | 48 | 37 |
175 | Your insurance company is concerned that it may be a preexisting constriction. | 1.5125 | 0.04723 | 240 | 151 | 55 | 34 |
176 | So it wasn't a typo. You do have a large asp. | 1.5125 | 0.04723 | 240 | 151 | 55 | 34 |
177 | The good news is we’ve made great strides in treating A Reptile Dysfunction. | 1.5124 | 0.04766 | 242 | 154 | 52 | 36 |
178 | Ah, Mr. Smith. I see you've met Victor. Victor is the head of our billing department. | 1.5123 | 0.04736 | 244 | 155 | 53 | 36 |
179 | So, how long have you been experiencing ereptile dysfunction? | 1.5122 | 0.04706 | 246 | 156 | 54 | 36 |
180 | Nice try, but I'm still going ahead with your colonoscopy. | 1.5121 | 0.04676 | 248 | 157 | 55 | 36 |
181 | Off hand, I'd say you are being suffocated by a snake, but just to make sure I'm going to order a bunch of tests. | 1.5115 | 0.04612 | 262 | 168 | 54 | 40 |
182 | I'm sorry, but this is a preexisting constriction . | 1.5106 | 0.04762 | 235 | 148 | 54 | 33 |
183 | And after surgery you’ll have a super cute bag and matching shoes. | 1.5105 | 0.04769 | 237 | 150 | 53 | 34 |
184 | Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover preexisting constrictions. | 1.5104 | 0.04781 | 241 | 154 | 51 | 36 |
185 | The good news is that you no longer have that monkey on your back. | 1.5104 | 0.04597 | 241 | 149 | 61 | 31 |
186 | Nice try, Mr. Jones, but you can't avoid a prostate exam. | 1.5104 | 0.04634 | 241 | 150 | 59 | 32 |
187 | The good news is that it’s covered by your COBRA benefits. | 1.5098 | 0.04475 | 255 | 158 | 64 | 33 |
188 | So, you have no idea what happened to your therapy dog? | 1.5097 | 0.04483 | 257 | 160 | 63 | 34 |
189 | Are you covered under COBRA? | 1.5096 | 0.04594 | 261 | 167 | 55 | 39 |
190 | Nice try, Mr Rosen, but there's no escaping your prostate exam. | 1.5088 | 0.05031 | 228 | 149 | 42 | 37 |
191 | As you, no doubt, surmised, you did not receive the placebo. | 1.5065 | 0.04787 | 231 | 146 | 53 | 32 |
192 | Ironically, yes, I do believe this is covered under your COBRA. | 1.5063 | 0.04694 | 237 | 149 | 56 | 32 |
193 | Don’t worry. Ereptile disfunction is very common for men your age. | 1.5063 | 0.04953 | 237 | 156 | 42 | 39 |
194 | But many things can cause tightness in the chest. Let's not jump to conclusions. | 1.5061 | 0.04327 | 247 | 148 | 73 | 26 |
195 | So this is the only COBRA coverage you could afford? | 1.5059 | 0.04645 | 255 | 164 | 53 | 38 |
196 | I'm sorry, it's a pre-existing constriction. | 1.5058 | 0.04449 | 257 | 160 | 64 | 33 |
197 | 'Looks like its just something that's going around.." | 1.5057 | 0.04348 | 265 | 164 | 68 | 33 |
198 | It's just something that's going around | 1.5055 | 0.04407 | 273 | 173 | 62 | 38 |
199 | It will continue to constrict you until you can no longer take a breath. But enough about your insurance company. | 1.5055 | 0.04704 | 275 | 185 | 41 | 49 |
200 | Just to clarify...you say this started with a frog in your throat? | 1.5046 | 0.04822 | 216 | 134 | 55 | 27 |
201 | "It's all in your mind. The condition is called hypoanacondria. | 1.5044 | 0.04868 | 226 | 144 | 50 | 32 |
202 | It's just a little something to help you both unwind. | 1.5044 | 0.04745 | 226 | 141 | 56 | 29 |
203 | I'm so sorry, we only accept COBRA here. | 1.5042 | 0.04828 | 238 | 154 | 48 | 36 |
204 | So how long have you been covered by Cobra? | 1.5000 | 0.04761 | 240 | 155 | 50 | 35 |
205 | Any tightness or difficulty breathing? | 1.5000 | 0.04576 | 226 | 138 | 63 | 25 |
206 | I'm writing you a prescription for a mongoose. | 1.5000 | 0.04542 | 234 | 144 | 63 | 27 |
207 | Your insurance provider has denied coverage based on a pre-existing constriction. | 1.5000 | 0.04671 | 236 | 149 | 56 | 31 |
208 | We got the monkey off your back, but you’ll need to see a specialist for this one. | 1.5000 | 0.04458 | 240 | 147 | 66 | 27 |
209 | This is why early detection is so important. Once they swallow you whole, our options are limited. | 1.5000 | 0.04426 | 248 | 153 | 66 | 29 |
210 | Good news: it’s not poisonous. Bad news: it’s endangered. | 1.5000 | 0.04748 | 236 | 151 | 52 | 33 |
211 | I'm writing a prescription for something to help you unwind. | 1.5000 | 0.04723 | 230 | 145 | 55 | 30 |
212 | I'm sorry, but COBRA and BOA are actually two separate policies. | 1.5000 | 0.04946 | 214 | 136 | 49 | 29 |
213 | So, cost was not what you meant when you said you were getting squeezed by COBRA. | 1.5000 | 0.05004 | 234 | 156 | 39 | 39 |
214 | With your plan, it's the only way to measure your blood pressure. Just wait until you see how we check your prostate. | 1.5000 | 0.05143 | 226 | 152 | 35 | 39 |
215 | So where's the gerbil now?" | 1.5000 | 0.04597 | 270 | 178 | 49 | 43 |
216 | Unfortunately there’s no cure for e-reptile dysfunction. | 1.4981 | 0.04607 | 267 | 176 | 49 | 42 |
217 | Give him two white mice and call me in the morning | 1.4981 | 0.04225 | 267 | 164 | 73 | 30 |
218 | I'm prescribing you an antihisstamine. | 1.4981 | 0.04457 | 259 | 164 | 61 | 34 |
219 | I’m going to prescribe a laxative for the snake. You should pass through in a day or two. | 1.4981 | 0.04346 | 257 | 159 | 68 | 30 |
220 | I'm prescribing you an oboe and a basket -- should work like a charm. | 1.4981 | 0.04551 | 257 | 165 | 56 | 36 |
221 | He just ate a whole pig, so you should be safe for the next month. | 1.4980 | 0.04476 | 255 | 161 | 61 | 33 |
222 | It looks like you’re covered under COBRA. | 1.4980 | 0.04663 | 249 | 161 | 52 | 36 |
223 | So what are we seeing you for today? | 1.4980 | 0.04614 | 245 | 156 | 56 | 33 |
224 | I’m afraid I will have to charge you for my missing receptionist. | 1.4980 | 0.04650 | 245 | 157 | 54 | 34 |
225 | My first concern is the location of the tail. | 1.4979 | 0.04417 | 243 | 149 | 67 | 27 |
226 | No, you can leave the snake on. | 1.4962 | 0.04444 | 260 | 165 | 61 | 34 |
227 | Well, the test results finally came back, and you were right--it is a Burmese python. | 1.4959 | 0.04431 | 242 | 149 | 66 | 27 |
228 | It looks like your cobra covers fifty percent | 1.4955 | 0.05022 | 224 | 148 | 41 | 35 |
229 | What brought you here today? | 1.4943 | 0.04497 | 261 | 168 | 57 | 36 |
230 | So now is probably a terrible time to tell you we no longer accept COBRA. | 1.4941 | 0.04740 | 253 | 168 | 45 | 40 |
231 | I'm sorry but your policy does not cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.4939 | 0.04656 | 247 | 160 | 52 | 35 |
232 | There is nothing we can do about your snake but on the bright side I think we know where your hamster went | 1.4937 | 0.04539 | 237 | 148 | 61 | 28 |
233 | As your vet, I think the first thing to do is remove that man who's stuck in the middle of you | 1.4933 | 0.04925 | 225 | 147 | 45 | 33 |
234 | Well, if it was a COBRA, you’d be covered... | 1.4933 | 0.04835 | 223 | 143 | 50 | 30 |
235 | I'll write the prescription more legibly this time. | 1.4921 | 0.04585 | 252 | 163 | 54 | 35 |
236 | It says on your insurance paperwork that you're covered by COBRA; is that correct? | 1.4919 | 0.04741 | 246 | 162 | 47 | 37 |
237 | You needn't have removed your socks. | 1.4919 | 0.04563 | 246 | 157 | 57 | 32 |
238 | ... sorry, it says here you’re only covered if he actually bites you.” | 1.4917 | 0.04497 | 240 | 150 | 62 | 28 |
239 | It says here that this is a pre-existing constriction. | 1.4908 | 0.04876 | 218 | 140 | 49 | 29 |
240 | And just what brings you in today? | 1.4906 | 0.04323 | 267 | 169 | 65 | 33 |
241 | Bad news, Harold. I’m afraid you have Ereptile Dysfunction. | 1.4905 | 0.04471 | 263 | 170 | 57 | 36 |
242 | About your insurance--it seems you have COBRA? | 1.4903 | 0.04617 | 257 | 169 | 50 | 38 |
243 | COBRA plan? | 1.4903 | 0.04275 | 257 | 159 | 70 | 28 |
244 | So what brings you here? | 1.4899 | 0.04656 | 247 | 161 | 51 | 35 |
245 | Sorry, but this is a python and you have COBRA. | 1.4895 | 0.04664 | 239 | 154 | 53 | 32 |
246 | While I would love to help out, he's endangered whereas you are merely screwed. | 1.4895 | 0.04880 | 237 | 158 | 42 | 37 |
247 | Chest pain. Shortness of breath. Decreased mobility of the upper extremities. We're going to want to run some tests. | 1.4893 | 0.04677 | 233 | 149 | 54 | 30 |
248 | Here is your letter about your Emotional Support Snake, now you must convince the Airline . | 1.4882 | 0.04625 | 254 | 167 | 50 | 37 |
249 | 'Looks like you got the full Monty python.' | 1.4881 | 0.04445 | 252 | 160 | 61 | 31 |
250 | Your insurance form says you have COBRA coverage. | 1.4881 | 0.04721 | 252 | 168 | 45 | 39 |
251 | Well scaly dry skin is very common in the winter months. | 1.4880 | 0.04543 | 250 | 161 | 56 | 33 |
252 | Let's have a follow-up appointment when the contractions are less than five minutes apart. | 1.4878 | 0.04670 | 246 | 161 | 50 | 35 |
253 | No. I said use a vapor rub | 1.4874 | 0.04678 | 238 | 154 | 52 | 32 |
254 | Unfortunately this isn't covered under your COBRA insurance. | 1.4873 | 0.04747 | 236 | 154 | 49 | 33 |
255 | I'm afraid this won't be covered under your COBRA insurance. | 1.4873 | 0.04709 | 236 | 153 | 51 | 32 |
256 | Well, at least you’re covered by COBRA. | 1.4870 | 0.05034 | 230 | 156 | 36 | 38 |
257 | And remember this next time you promise to drain the swamp. | 1.4868 | 0.04834 | 228 | 149 | 47 | 32 |
258 | You just need to go home and unwind. | 1.4868 | 0.04477 | 265 | 173 | 55 | 37 |
259 | That’s going to make your prostate exam more challenging. | 1.4867 | 0.04339 | 263 | 167 | 64 | 32 |
260 | I can remove him, no problem, just be more careful around humans in the future.” | 1.4865 | 0.04893 | 222 | 145 | 46 | 31 |
261 | Do you hear a rattle when you cough? | 1.4864 | 0.04516 | 257 | 167 | 55 | 35 |
262 | Would you prefer a gown? | 1.4863 | 0.04475 | 255 | 164 | 58 | 33 |
263 | Unfortunately, this won't be covered by Cobra. | 1.4861 | 0.05249 | 216 | 148 | 31 | 37 |
264 | So...what brings you here today Mr. Jones? | 1.4858 | 0.04620 | 247 | 161 | 52 | 34 |
265 | Honestly Dan, I think you need to reconsider your choice of a support animal. | 1.4857 | 0.04685 | 245 | 161 | 49 | 35 |
266 | So, tell me why you’re here. | 1.4855 | 0.04671 | 241 | 157 | 51 | 33 |
267 | Well...despite what WebMD says, the numbness in your legs isn't cancer. | 1.4855 | 0.04634 | 241 | 156 | 53 | 32 |
268 | This is one time that I think snake oil will really work. | 1.4854 | 0.04738 | 239 | 157 | 48 | 34 |
269 | I'm sorry, but your COBRA doesn't cover everything. | 1.4854 | 0.04848 | 239 | 160 | 42 | 37 |
270 | Otherwise, it was a good vacation? | 1.4851 | 0.04343 | 268 | 172 | 62 | 34 |
271 | Any trouble swallowing? | 1.4848 | 0.04460 | 231 | 143 | 64 | 24 |
272 | I'm going to prescribe a small goat to help relieve that tightness. | 1.4846 | 0.04342 | 260 | 165 | 64 | 31 |
273 | Your plan doesn't cover this, but I can refer you to a Pentecostal church. | 1.4845 | 0.04262 | 258 | 161 | 69 | 28 |
274 | Have you considered a service dog? | 1.4844 | 0.04392 | 256 | 163 | 62 | 31 |
275 | I don't think this is covered in your COBRA policy | 1.4843 | 0.04917 | 223 | 147 | 44 | 32 |
276 | I noticed that you answered "no" to the question "Do you feel safe at home?" | 1.4841 | 0.04584 | 252 | 165 | 52 | 35 |
277 | This should be quick. I’ll just need you to stand up, turn around and drop the snake to your ankles, please. | 1.4841 | 0.04444 | 252 | 161 | 60 | 31 |
278 | I see you have COBRA coverage. | 1.4837 | 0.04775 | 246 | 165 | 43 | 38 |
279 | Well, the good news is we were able to remove the mole.” | 1.4835 | 0.04251 | 273 | 174 | 66 | 33 |
280 | You may want to reconsider your choice of an Emotional Support Animal. | 1.4829 | 0.04598 | 263 | 176 | 47 | 40 |
281 | Snake's date of birth? | 1.4829 | 0.04371 | 263 | 169 | 61 | 33 |
282 | The good news is your cholesterol levels are fine. The bad news is your blood pressure is 650 over 400. | 1.4828 | 0.04611 | 232 | 148 | 56 | 28 |
283 | And what seems to be the trouble today? | 1.4823 | 0.04660 | 226 | 144 | 55 | 27 |
284 | It is going around, I can tell you thát. | 1.4822 | 0.04431 | 253 | 162 | 60 | 31 |
285 | Yes, we do accept Cobra coverage. | 1.4818 | 0.04798 | 220 | 142 | 50 | 28 |
286 | Let me explain again the difference between a restrictive diet and a constrictive diet. | 1.4812 | 0.04548 | 239 | 153 | 57 | 29 |
287 | I'm going to prescribe you a mongoose. Should clear that right up. | 1.4810 | 0.04616 | 237 | 153 | 54 | 30 |
288 | Put two mice in the corner every four hours. | 1.4803 | 0.04624 | 254 | 169 | 48 | 37 |
289 | Sad to say, your COBRA doesn't even cover it. | 1.4802 | 0.04728 | 227 | 147 | 51 | 29 |
290 | As a veterinarian, I don't see anything wrong with him. | 1.4800 | 0.04361 | 250 | 158 | 64 | 28 |
291 | It appears you are suffering from vipertension. | 1.4800 | 0.04589 | 225 | 142 | 58 | 25 |
292 | Well I've narrowed it down to workplace stress, or the snake. | 1.4797 | 0.04413 | 246 | 156 | 62 | 28 |
293 | Give him two small mice and call me in the morning! | 1.4797 | 0.04598 | 246 | 161 | 52 | 33 |
294 | Does anyone besides you see the snake? | 1.4795 | 0.04478 | 244 | 156 | 59 | 29 |
295 | And is this snake in the room with you right now? | 1.4792 | 0.04610 | 240 | 156 | 53 | 31 |
296 | And you say this all started when he gave your wife an apple? | 1.4792 | 0.04648 | 240 | 157 | 51 | 32 |
297 | Hissing in your ears? | 1.4786 | 0.04334 | 234 | 144 | 68 | 22 |
298 | Sorry for the wait, Mr. Baker....So, what brings you in to see us today? | 1.4784 | 0.04610 | 232 | 149 | 55 | 28 |
299 | Mmmhm... and how far apart are the constrictions? | 1.4784 | 0.04298 | 255 | 161 | 66 | 28 |
300 | I'm afraid I specialize in internal medicine. Come back once it has consumed you. | 1.4783 | 0.04431 | 230 | 143 | 64 | 23 |
301 | Of course if it swallows you first we’ll have to try something more aggressive: | 1.4781 | 0.04421 | 251 | 161 | 60 | 30 |
302 | I see you’ve met our claims adjuster. | 1.4778 | 0.04474 | 270 | 180 | 51 | 39 |
303 | I'm not so much concerned about when you last ate, as I am with when it last ate. | 1.4770 | 0.04045 | 283 | 178 | 75 | 30 |
304 | Unfortunately, your COBRA doesn't cover this. | 1.4770 | 0.04737 | 239 | 159 | 46 | 34 |
305 | It's nothing serious but if it bothers you I can remove it. | 1.4769 | 0.04591 | 216 | 135 | 59 | 22 |
306 | It could be the python, but we'll run lots of tests to be sure. | 1.4756 | 0.04674 | 225 | 145 | 53 | 27 |
307 | I’m going to prescribe a mongoose. | 1.4754 | 0.04515 | 244 | 158 | 56 | 30 |
308 | Otherwise, you're in perfect health. | 1.4754 | 0.04324 | 244 | 153 | 66 | 25 |
309 | Well... I have your test results and it's definitely Irritable Boa Syndrome. | 1.4754 | 0.04439 | 244 | 156 | 60 | 28 |
310 | I think we should to a PET scan | 1.4754 | 0.04285 | 244 | 152 | 68 | 24 |
311 | This should hold you until you can afford the gastric band. | 1.4753 | 0.04501 | 263 | 175 | 51 | 37 |
312 | Trust me, this is more effective than an enema. | 1.4743 | 0.04465 | 253 | 165 | 56 | 32 |
313 | I see you picked up something from your trip to the Amazon. | 1.4743 | 0.04358 | 253 | 162 | 62 | 29 |
314 | So which one of you is the patient? | 1.4741 | 0.04384 | 251 | 161 | 61 | 29 |
315 | My problem with these trendy diets is that as soon as the snake comes off, you're eating again. | 1.4739 | 0.04210 | 268 | 171 | 67 | 30 |
316 | Your vitals are OK. Your bloodwork is good. No sign of heart disease. So I'm going to say the tightness in your chest is from the snake. | 1.4737 | 0.04285 | 247 | 155 | 67 | 25 |
317 | It says here your insurance doesn't cover preexisting constrictions. | 1.4733 | 0.04453 | 281 | 191 | 47 | 43 |
318 | Yeah, it’s going around. | 1.4731 | 0.04236 | 260 | 165 | 67 | 28 |
319 | OK you can put your pants back on | 1.4729 | 0.04260 | 258 | 164 | 66 | 28 |
320 | Sorry, this is Hematology. You want Herpetology. | 1.4726 | 0.04334 | 237 | 148 | 66 | 23 |
321 | I'm going to write you a little something to help you unwind. | 1.4724 | 0.04162 | 254 | 158 | 72 | 24 |
322 | This is the last letter I'm writing for your emotional support animal. | 1.4721 | 0.04752 | 233 | 155 | 46 | 32 |
323 | Sorry sir, this doesn't qualify you for medical marijuana. | 1.4721 | 0.04594 | 233 | 151 | 54 | 28 |
324 | Buy a mongoose and use as directed. | 1.4714 | 0.04807 | 227 | 151 | 45 | 31 |
325 | Sorry, you only have COBRA coverage. | 1.4713 | 0.04697 | 244 | 164 | 45 | 35 |
326 | He may not be in your network, but I can refer you to an excellent mongoose. | 1.4709 | 0.04574 | 223 | 142 | 57 | 24 |
327 | Two mice every fours hours. | 1.4706 | 0.04521 | 238 | 154 | 56 | 28 |
328 | Yes, we've recently been seeing a lot of this in South Florida. It's called Reptile Disfunction. | 1.4704 | 0.04503 | 270 | 183 | 47 | 40 |
329 | Well I see that you have COBRA coverage. | 1.4701 | 0.04490 | 251 | 165 | 54 | 32 |
330 | Shortness of breath can be caused by many things. Let’s not jump to conclusions. | 1.4701 | 0.04538 | 234 | 151 | 56 | 27 |
331 | Good news. It's not your prostate. | 1.4699 | 0.04299 | 266 | 173 | 61 | 32 |
332 | Preliminary tests indicate it's a snake. | 1.4699 | 0.04332 | 266 | 174 | 59 | 33 |
333 | I’m prescribing an anti-hssstamine. | 1.4699 | 0.04335 | 249 | 159 | 63 | 27 |
334 | Trust me. This is the best remedy for constipation you’ve ever seen. | 1.4699 | 0.04624 | 249 | 167 | 47 | 35 |
335 | I checked with your COBRA plan and unfortunately they aren't going to cover it. | 1.4696 | 0.04826 | 247 | 171 | 36 | 40 |
336 | I'm afraid this will be out-of-pocket for you. Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.4696 | 0.04679 | 230 | 151 | 50 | 29 |
337 | So what seems to be bothering you? | 1.4693 | 0.04750 | 228 | 151 | 47 | 30 |
338 | Good. I see you have COBRA coverage. | 1.4692 | 0.04440 | 260 | 172 | 54 | 34 |
339 | Well, your labs all came back normal. So, I guess we’re back to square one. | 1.4690 | 0.04364 | 258 | 168 | 59 | 31 |
340 | And does Eve have a last name? | 1.4690 | 0.04259 | 258 | 165 | 65 | 28 |
341 | Actually, when I said a pet could help lower your blood pressure, I was thinking more of a dog or a cat. | 1.4690 | 0.04398 | 258 | 169 | 57 | 32 |
342 | Good thing you're covered by Cobra. | 1.4689 | 0.04279 | 273 | 179 | 60 | 34 |
343 | So, how can I help you today? | 1.4688 | 0.04424 | 256 | 168 | 56 | 32 |
344 | What seems to be the trouble today? | 1.4686 | 0.04735 | 239 | 161 | 44 | 34 |
345 | It works like any laxative, but faster. | 1.4685 | 0.04676 | 222 | 144 | 52 | 26 |
346 | The good news is that the cancer won't kill you. | 1.4683 | 0.04333 | 252 | 162 | 62 | 28 |
347 | Let me guess...your covered by COBRA. | 1.4682 | 0.05048 | 220 | 151 | 35 | 34 |
348 | Well, I don't know what to tell you. All your labs came back normal. | 1.4681 | 0.04681 | 235 | 156 | 48 | 31 |
349 | So, to recap. You were picking apples. A naked woman said: ‘want one?’ And that’s the last you remember. | 1.4681 | 0.04275 | 235 | 146 | 68 | 21 |
350 | Well, of course, that could be the source of your chest pain, but wouldn’t you feel better if we ran a few tests first? | 1.4675 | 0.04821 | 231 | 156 | 42 | 33 |
351 | Any changes since your last check up? | 1.4669 | 0.04348 | 242 | 154 | 63 | 25 |
352 | You had your Lap-Band surgery in Brazil? | 1.4669 | 0.04234 | 257 | 164 | 66 | 27 |
353 | The real problem is you have a frog in your throat. | 1.4669 | 0.04291 | 272 | 179 | 59 | 34 |
354 | You say you caught it on a plane? | 1.4667 | 0.04293 | 240 | 151 | 66 | 23 |
355 | A rattle could mean any number of things. | 1.4664 | 0.04283 | 253 | 162 | 64 | 27 |
356 | I never thought I'd say this, but I think a bottle of snake oil might do the trick. | 1.4664 | 0.04532 | 253 | 169 | 50 | 34 |
357 | I'm sorry, but your insurance does not cover pre-existing constrictions. | 1.4664 | 0.04712 | 238 | 160 | 45 | 33 |
358 | And Eve, how is she feeling today? | 1.4664 | 0.04712 | 238 | 160 | 45 | 33 |
359 | Do you need a minute to unwind? | 1.4661 | 0.04666 | 236 | 157 | 48 | 31 |
360 | I’m prescribing a muscle relaxant - good luck getting her to take it. | 1.4659 | 0.04296 | 249 | 159 | 64 | 26 |
361 | I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but this isn't covered by COBRA. | 1.4658 | 0.04657 | 234 | 155 | 49 | 30 |
362 | It says here you have a service animal? | 1.4656 | 0.04313 | 262 | 171 | 60 | 31 |
363 | What brought you in today? | 1.4653 | 0.04385 | 245 | 158 | 60 | 27 |
364 | Yes, there is something definitely going around. | 1.4651 | 0.04150 | 258 | 163 | 70 | 25 |
365 | I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant -- not for you, for your friend. | 1.4646 | 0.04483 | 226 | 144 | 59 | 23 |
366 | More testing, yes. But my gut says it's the giant reticulated python. | 1.4643 | 0.04729 | 224 | 148 | 48 | 28 |
367 | Just one more question...how did you get that shirt off? | 1.4640 | 0.04804 | 222 | 148 | 45 | 29 |
368 | Lucky for you your COBRA coverage has kicked in. | 1.4638 | 0.04719 | 235 | 158 | 45 | 32 |
369 | The most puzzling question, Sir, is how you took your shirt off!” | 1.4638 | 0.04757 | 235 | 159 | 43 | 33 |
370 | I'm sorry. It looks like your COBRA coverage expired 2 weeks ago. | 1.4632 | 0.04580 | 231 | 151 | 53 | 27 |
371 | You just need to unwind | 1.4628 | 0.04385 | 242 | 156 | 60 | 26 |
372 | So, you're insured through COBRA? | 1.4627 | 0.04538 | 255 | 172 | 48 | 35 |
373 | Let's try something to help you unwind. | 1.4624 | 0.04196 | 266 | 172 | 65 | 29 |
374 | I won't lie to you, Barry. Your snake has a mild cold. | 1.4624 | 0.04128 | 266 | 170 | 69 | 27 |
375 | I will prescribe a mongoose. If that doesn’t work, come back next week | 1.4622 | 0.04277 | 238 | 150 | 66 | 22 |
376 | No, I prescribed a VASOconstrictor. Guess the nurse is right. I do need to work on my handwriting. | 1.4622 | 0.04380 | 251 | 164 | 58 | 29 |
377 | Looks like you’ve caught something that’s been going around. | 1.4621 | 0.04081 | 264 | 167 | 72 | 25 |
378 | I’m not sure how to code this for the insurance. | 1.4619 | 0.04344 | 236 | 150 | 63 | 23 |
379 | Your medical insurance carrier has authorized me to unwind two loops. | 1.4615 | 0.04433 | 247 | 162 | 56 | 29 |
380 | Blame your HMO, it's the only gastric band they'll pay for. | 1.4615 | 0.04454 | 234 | 151 | 58 | 25 |
381 | Any other complaints? | 1.4612 | 0.04440 | 232 | 149 | 59 | 24 |
382 | Glad I could squeeze you in. | 1.4609 | 0.04332 | 243 | 156 | 62 | 25 |
383 | Yeah, there’s definitely something going around. | 1.4609 | 0.04635 | 230 | 152 | 50 | 28 |
384 | First time in Florida? | 1.4606 | 0.04358 | 241 | 155 | 61 | 25 |
385 | Well...your cholesterol is fine. | 1.4605 | 0.04231 | 228 | 141 | 69 | 18 |
386 | All the lab tests are coming back negative. Quite frankly, we’re baffled. | 1.4604 | 0.04275 | 265 | 174 | 60 | 31 |
387 | Here, this may help you unwind. | 1.4596 | 0.04439 | 235 | 152 | 58 | 25 |
388 | It's just something that's been going around. | 1.4593 | 0.04215 | 246 | 156 | 67 | 23 |
389 | It looks like a severe case of irritable boa syndrome. | 1.4593 | 0.04482 | 246 | 163 | 53 | 30 |
390 | These days we have many successful treatments for ereptile dysfunction. | 1.4591 | 0.04476 | 257 | 173 | 50 | 34 |
391 | I recommend a PET scan. | 1.4590 | 0.04358 | 244 | 158 | 60 | 26 |
392 | New York Fashion Week already? | 1.4590 | 0.04358 | 244 | 158 | 60 | 26 |
393 | I'll just need your signature in three places. | 1.4589 | 0.04537 | 231 | 151 | 54 | 26 |
394 | I could remove it but they usually come right back. | 1.4587 | 0.04601 | 218 | 141 | 54 | 23 |
395 | So, what brings you here today? | 1.4587 | 0.04461 | 242 | 159 | 55 | 28 |
396 | I'n prescribing a muscle relaxant for both of you. | 1.4585 | 0.04244 | 253 | 163 | 64 | 26 |
397 | It started with a frog in my throat. | 1.4585 | 0.04530 | 253 | 171 | 48 | 34 |
398 | We 'll have to run some expensive tests, but fortunately you're covered by Cobra. | 1.4579 | 0.04937 | 214 | 145 | 40 | 29 |
399 | Bad news: your insurance doesn't cover removing it. Good news: it qualifies as an Emotional Support Animal | 1.4577 | 0.04266 | 260 | 170 | 61 | 29 |
400 | Take two Aspirin and lie down on a flat rock in the sun. | 1.4575 | 0.04123 | 247 | 155 | 71 | 21 |
401 | You think you’re being squeezed now...wait til you see my bill. | 1.4574 | 0.04569 | 223 | 145 | 54 | 24 |
402 | Technically yes, it does make you look fat. | 1.4564 | 0.04317 | 241 | 155 | 62 | 24 |
403 | So who am I here to see today? | 1.4563 | 0.04180 | 252 | 161 | 67 | 24 |
404 | I'm giving you something to help you unwind. | 1.4563 | 0.04365 | 252 | 166 | 57 | 29 |
405 | You're lucky - I squeezed you in today. | 1.4561 | 0.04495 | 228 | 148 | 56 | 24 |
406 | And what brings you in today? | 1.4561 | 0.04452 | 228 | 147 | 58 | 23 |
407 | The good news is that your hiccups are gone. | 1.4561 | 0.04261 | 239 | 152 | 65 | 22 |
408 | And what brings you into the office today? | 1.4560 | 0.04204 | 250 | 160 | 66 | 24 |
409 | I am sorry but your Cobra coverage has expired. | 1.4559 | 0.04389 | 261 | 175 | 53 | 33 |
410 | Monty, is that your python? | 1.4558 | 0.04694 | 226 | 151 | 47 | 28 |
411 | Well, some more bad news. You also have a tape worm. | 1.4557 | 0.04647 | 237 | 160 | 46 | 31 |
412 | And what else did the internet say about curing your sore throat? | 1.4557 | 0.04491 | 237 | 156 | 54 | 27 |
413 | Let me prescribe something to help you unwind. | 1.4556 | 0.04305 | 248 | 161 | 61 | 26 |
414 | How about we try no snake, and see if that helps? | 1.4556 | 0.04242 | 259 | 169 | 62 | 28 |
415 | This is the new colonoscopy prep. Works fast and most people like that they don't have to drink the two gallons of liquid. | 1.4556 | 0.04277 | 259 | 170 | 60 | 29 |
416 | Stick out your tongue. No, not you... him. | 1.4553 | 0.04559 | 235 | 156 | 51 | 28 |
417 | Can you sit up without your support animal? | 1.4553 | 0.04292 | 246 | 159 | 62 | 25 |
418 | I regret to inform you...it's the E-boa virus. | 1.4553 | 0.04337 | 257 | 170 | 57 | 30 |
419 | Your test results came back fine, but I'm afraid the snake has bronchitis. | 1.4553 | 0.04121 | 257 | 164 | 69 | 24 |
420 | I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. Tell me what brings you here today? | 1.4553 | 0.04337 | 257 | 170 | 57 | 30 |
421 | ...and I would consider another service animal. | 1.4549 | 0.04506 | 233 | 153 | 54 | 26 |
422 | Tightening in the chest, hissing in the ears, any other symptoms Mr. Jones? | 1.4545 | 0.04382 | 242 | 158 | 58 | 26 |
423 | First tell me how you got here. | 1.4545 | 0.04190 | 231 | 144 | 69 | 18 |
424 | Good news. You're not having a heart attack. | 1.4545 | 0.04576 | 231 | 153 | 51 | 27 |
425 | and insurance ... okay, I see you're still covered by COBRA | 1.4545 | 0.04343 | 242 | 157 | 60 | 25 |
426 | For insurance purposes Iam just going to write tightness in chest. | 1.4545 | 0.04458 | 253 | 170 | 51 | 32 |
427 | The good news is we identified the problem. The bad news is he’s hungry. | 1.4542 | 0.04448 | 240 | 158 | 55 | 27 |
428 | You have a bad case of coilitis. | 1.4541 | 0.04522 | 229 | 150 | 54 | 25 |
429 | I'm sorry, it's an endangered species. | 1.4539 | 0.04069 | 271 | 175 | 69 | 27 |
430 | But it's more commonly known as Irritable Boa Syndrome. | 1.4538 | 0.04366 | 249 | 164 | 57 | 28 |
431 | I think you misunderstood when I suggested COBRA coverage! | 1.4538 | 0.04512 | 249 | 168 | 49 | 32 |
432 | Unfortunately, your new insurance won't pay for the scope, but Alice here knows her way around a colon. She'll be wearing a Go-Pro. | 1.4538 | 0.04476 | 238 | 157 | 54 | 27 |
433 | Hmm.. Bad news... you’re not covered for pre-existing constrictions...! | 1.4537 | 0.04678 | 227 | 152 | 47 | 28 |
434 | I'm prescribing an anti-compressant | 1.4537 | 0.04678 | 227 | 152 | 47 | 28 |
435 | Can't read this writing. Does it say it 'bowel constriction"...? | 1.4537 | 0.04722 | 216 | 143 | 48 | 25 |
436 | So - what seems to be the problem? | 1.4535 | 0.04461 | 258 | 175 | 49 | 34 |
437 | Other than attachment issues, he's in pretty good health. | 1.4533 | 0.04449 | 225 | 145 | 58 | 22 |
438 | No, there's little hope now. I'd recommend just getting the boots to match. | 1.4531 | 0.04494 | 245 | 164 | 51 | 30 |
439 | Any discomfort? | 1.4531 | 0.04303 | 245 | 159 | 61 | 25 |
440 | I guess we’ll have to skip the “take a deep breath” part | 1.4529 | 0.04340 | 223 | 141 | 63 | 19 |
441 | Yeah, this is probably the main drawback of the emotional-support snake. | 1.4528 | 0.04371 | 265 | 179 | 52 | 34 |
442 | Actually, I don't think your Cobra policy does cover this. | 1.4524 | 0.04868 | 210 | 141 | 43 | 26 |
443 | When did you become aware of the python, Monty? | 1.4524 | 0.04400 | 252 | 168 | 54 | 30 |
444 | Give it two hamsters and call me in the morning. | 1.4520 | 0.04352 | 250 | 165 | 57 | 28 |
445 | Here's something to help you unwind. | 1.4517 | 0.04060 | 259 | 165 | 71 | 23 |
446 | Yes, it's been going around. | 1.4516 | 0.04424 | 217 | 138 | 60 | 19 |
447 | It says here you have COBRA insurance? | 1.4514 | 0.04300 | 257 | 170 | 58 | 29 |
448 | I'm going to give you something for ereptile dysfunction. | 1.4512 | 0.04731 | 246 | 172 | 37 | 37 |
449 | I'd like to help but that's clearly a preexisting constriction. | 1.4511 | 0.04517 | 235 | 156 | 52 | 27 |
450 | So ‘Adam’ is it? | 1.4508 | 0.04393 | 244 | 161 | 56 | 27 |
451 | Give him one of these in the evening to help him unwind. | 1.4508 | 0.04276 | 244 | 158 | 62 | 24 |
452 | You can leave your snake on for this part of the exam. | 1.4506 | 0.04166 | 253 | 163 | 66 | 24 |
453 | I need you to take off your boa. | 1.4505 | 0.04241 | 273 | 183 | 57 | 33 |
454 | The results are in from the lab. It’s a python. | 1.4504 | 0.04204 | 262 | 172 | 62 | 28 |
455 | I'm sorry. Your COBRA plan doesn't over pythons. | 1.4504 | 0.04374 | 262 | 177 | 52 | 33 |
456 | The good news, it's not poisonous. | 1.4502 | 0.04364 | 231 | 149 | 60 | 22 |
457 | Sorry, but there's no cure for the common coiled. | 1.4502 | 0.04533 | 231 | 153 | 52 | 26 |
458 | He seems perfectly healthy | 1.4500 | 0.04566 | 220 | 144 | 53 | 23 |
459 | So, hissing sounds, tightness in the chest. Anything else? | 1.4496 | 0.04434 | 238 | 157 | 55 | 26 |
460 | As your vet, I'm going to prescribe a Valium to help you unwind, which should take care of that annoying human. | 1.4492 | 0.04240 | 256 | 168 | 61 | 27 |
461 | The good news is he says you're 120 over 80. | 1.4490 | 0.04417 | 245 | 163 | 54 | 28 |
462 | Good thing we were able to squeeze you in | 1.4488 | 0.04478 | 254 | 173 | 48 | 33 |
463 | Your eyes look good, so I'm taking you off the vasoconstrictor. | 1.4488 | 0.04336 | 254 | 169 | 56 | 29 |
464 | Take two live mice and call me in the morning. | 1.4487 | 0.04191 | 263 | 173 | 62 | 28 |
465 | So WebMD told you it was likely cancer? | 1.4487 | 0.04191 | 263 | 173 | 62 | 28 |
466 | Ice it three times a day until it hibernates. | 1.4486 | 0.04659 | 214 | 141 | 50 | 23 |
467 | Any difficulty swallowing? | 1.4486 | 0.04327 | 243 | 159 | 59 | 25 |
468 | Let's double the dosage on the muscle relaxer. Try giving it to the snake this time. | 1.4486 | 0.04405 | 243 | 161 | 55 | 27 |
469 | And you're saying the fruit was forbidden? By who exactly? | 1.4481 | 0.04313 | 241 | 157 | 60 | 24 |
470 | I think you just need to unwind. | 1.4480 | 0.04424 | 250 | 168 | 52 | 30 |
471 | When did you first notice a man in your coils? | 1.4480 | 0.04387 | 250 | 167 | 54 | 29 |
472 | You’re in luck...we accept Cobra. | 1.4478 | 0.04711 | 230 | 157 | 43 | 30 |
473 | As your veterinarian, I'm concerned that you've formed an unhealthy attachment to this man. | 1.4478 | 0.04201 | 268 | 178 | 60 | 30 |
474 | For a middle-aged snake your vitals look pretty good -- and I see your hunting skills are still up to par. | 1.4477 | 0.04537 | 239 | 161 | 49 | 29 |
475 | It might not be a panic attack after all. | 1.4477 | 0.04003 | 277 | 180 | 70 | 27 |
476 | I’ll order a coilonoscopy. | 1.4474 | 0.04404 | 228 | 148 | 58 | 22 |
477 | Any complaints since your last visit? | 1.4473 | 0.04447 | 237 | 157 | 54 | 26 |
478 | So, would you describe the pain as "dull," "aching," "shooting," or "crushing"? | 1.4470 | 0.03967 | 264 | 168 | 74 | 22 |
479 | Tell me again how you got your shirt off. | 1.4467 | 0.04505 | 244 | 165 | 49 | 30 |
480 | I highly recommend you set aside some time to unwind. | 1.4463 | 0.04570 | 242 | 165 | 46 | 31 |
481 | Well, the test results came back, and it turns out you have a large serpent wrapped around you. | 1.4463 | 0.04178 | 242 | 155 | 66 | 21 |
482 | I'm sorry, but this is considered a pre-existing condition. | 1.4463 | 0.04570 | 242 | 165 | 46 | 31 |
483 | You were better off when you were covered under COBRA. | 1.4462 | 0.04552 | 251 | 173 | 44 | 34 |
484 | Have you recently traveled outside of the United States? | 1.4461 | 0.04221 | 269 | 180 | 58 | 31 |
485 | When did you first start to feel contractions? | 1.4459 | 0.04813 | 231 | 161 | 37 | 33 |
486 | I think Alfred is fine, but I'm going prescribe him something for his separation anxiety. | 1.4457 | 0.04142 | 276 | 184 | 61 | 31 |
487 | Actually, I'd prescribed a vasoconstrictor. But your pressure has responded well. | 1.4455 | 0.04848 | 211 | 143 | 42 | 26 |
488 | Good news! I think we can save the snake. | 1.4454 | 0.04392 | 238 | 157 | 56 | 25 |
489 | This should get the two of you on the plane. | 1.4454 | 0.04432 | 238 | 158 | 54 | 26 |
490 | Any dryness, itching or shedding of skin? | 1.4454 | 0.04185 | 238 | 152 | 66 | 20 |
491 | Tell me again why you’re here. | 1.4453 | 0.04302 | 265 | 179 | 54 | 32 |
492 | It looks like you have a preexisting constriction. | 1.4450 | 0.04730 | 218 | 147 | 45 | 26 |
493 | I see the problem now, you can put your shirt back on. | 1.4450 | 0.04640 | 218 | 145 | 49 | 24 |
494 | I think it’s a pre-existing constriction. | 1.4449 | 0.04797 | 227 | 157 | 39 | 31 |
495 | You're fine, Bob, but your python has diarrhea. Good luck. | 1.4449 | 0.04490 | 245 | 166 | 49 | 30 |
496 | I think you need to unwind a bit. | 1.4449 | 0.04049 | 263 | 170 | 69 | 24 |
497 | I need you to remove the snake and put on that gown. | 1.4449 | 0.04359 | 263 | 179 | 51 | 33 |
498 | Is that the same one as last time? | 1.4444 | 0.04124 | 243 | 155 | 68 | 20 |
499 | Not to worry. I only use it for monitoring blood pressure, not for performing the actual colonoscopy. | 1.4444 | 0.04592 | 243 | 167 | 44 | 32 |
500 | Sorry, I'm a hematologist... I'm writing you a referral to the herpetologist. | 1.4444 | 0.04285 | 243 | 159 | 60 | 24 |
501 | I'm not sure COBRA will cover this. | 1.4444 | 0.04369 | 270 | 186 | 48 | 36 |
502 | He'll get hungry in about 6 weeks, but until then just don't piss him off. | 1.4440 | 0.04166 | 268 | 178 | 61 | 29 |
503 | I see you've met the drug rep. | 1.4440 | 0.04530 | 250 | 172 | 45 | 33 |
504 | Well it’s covered but only if your employer offers COBRA. | 1.4440 | 0.04638 | 232 | 158 | 45 | 29 |
505 | We find this gives a more accurate reading than the arm cuff. | 1.4440 | 0.04718 | 232 | 160 | 41 | 31 |
506 | Now which one of you two am I seeing today? | 1.4436 | 0.04331 | 257 | 173 | 54 | 30 |
507 | You're perfectly healthy. The snake just makes you look fat. | 1.4435 | 0.04411 | 248 | 167 | 52 | 29 |
508 | What brings you in to see me today? | 1.4435 | 0.04299 | 248 | 164 | 58 | 26 |
509 | You need to stop blaming Eve... | 1.4435 | 0.04650 | 239 | 165 | 42 | 32 |
510 | So, after trying alternative methods, you're ready to reconsider Western medicine? | 1.4431 | 0.04356 | 255 | 172 | 53 | 30 |
511 | Patients with your diagnosis have an average life expectancy of 45 minutes. | 1.4431 | 0.04063 | 255 | 164 | 69 | 22 |
512 | I'm glad we caught this early. | 1.4426 | 0.04390 | 235 | 155 | 56 | 24 |
513 | Next time, eat the apple. | 1.4422 | 0.04335 | 251 | 168 | 55 | 28 |
514 | I suggest you take some time to unwind. | 1.4421 | 0.04492 | 242 | 164 | 49 | 29 |
515 | The snake is in terrific shape. | 1.4421 | 0.04297 | 242 | 159 | 59 | 24 |
516 | We'll just need your signature here before we can begin treatment. | 1.4421 | 0.04541 | 233 | 157 | 49 | 27 |
517 | Results won’t be back for a few days, but from what I can tell, it’s a snake. | 1.4419 | 0.04176 | 258 | 170 | 62 | 26 |
518 | Were you dressed in something provacative? | 1.4418 | 0.04506 | 249 | 171 | 46 | 32 |
519 | You’ll find that a vasoconstrictor works much better. | 1.4418 | 0.04434 | 249 | 169 | 50 | 30 |
520 | It says here you're still covered by COBRA. | 1.4418 | 0.04434 | 249 | 169 | 50 | 30 |
521 | Two mice tonight, and call me in the morning. | 1.4417 | 0.04363 | 240 | 159 | 56 | 25 |
522 | It is ironic. Nevertheless, the condition is not covered while on COBRA insurance. | 1.4416 | 0.04570 | 231 | 156 | 48 | 27 |
523 | You’re fortunate we could squeeze you in today. | 1.4414 | 0.04051 | 256 | 165 | 69 | 22 |
524 | You can put your shirt on now. | 1.4414 | 0.04482 | 256 | 177 | 45 | 34 |
525 | You're lucky, my landlord won't even let me have a cat. | 1.4412 | 0.04053 | 238 | 150 | 71 | 17 |
526 | I still have to check your prostate. | 1.4412 | 0.04587 | 238 | 163 | 45 | 30 |
527 | So have you travelled outside the United States in the last 30 days? | 1.4409 | 0.04260 | 254 | 169 | 58 | 27 |
528 | Your snake's fine, Mr. Jones, but I suggest you see a physician immediately! | 1.4409 | 0.04073 | 254 | 164 | 68 | 22 |
529 | …and stay off planes. | 1.4408 | 0.04179 | 245 | 159 | 64 | 22 |
530 | Any recent lifestyle changes? | 1.4407 | 0.04497 | 236 | 159 | 50 | 27 |
531 | Your insurance says it looks like a pre-existing condition. | 1.4405 | 0.04587 | 227 | 153 | 48 | 26 |
532 | You say you think you picked this up on a plane? | 1.4403 | 0.04162 | 243 | 157 | 65 | 21 |
533 | Ok, so there's a few questions that I'll need to ask as you're a new patient. Do you smoke? | 1.4402 | 0.04318 | 234 | 153 | 59 | 22 |
534 | Feed it two good-sized rodents and call me in the morning. | 1.4400 | 0.04309 | 250 | 167 | 56 | 27 |
535 | It’s okay, choosing the right therapy animal takes time. | 1.4400 | 0.04486 | 225 | 149 | 53 | 23 |
536 | No, it's fine. A lot of my patients bring their comfort animals. | 1.4400 | 0.04272 | 250 | 166 | 58 | 26 |
537 | Well, the good news is that it isn't contagious. | 1.4398 | 0.03869 | 266 | 169 | 77 | 20 |
538 | You got something that's going around. | 1.4398 | 0.04349 | 241 | 160 | 56 | 25 |
539 | Here is a prescription for 25 mice. We'll see if that helps. | 1.4395 | 0.04142 | 248 | 161 | 65 | 22 |
540 | I'll give you something to help you unwind. | 1.4394 | 0.04140 | 264 | 175 | 62 | 27 |
541 | So what brings you into Urgent Care today? | 1.4394 | 0.04035 | 264 | 172 | 68 | 24 |
542 | Thanks to the Republicans this seems to be the one thing you actually have coverage for. | 1.4393 | 0.04415 | 239 | 160 | 53 | 26 |
543 | Could be the anaconda. Could be any number of things. Let's the what the lab results have to say. | 1.4393 | 0.04533 | 239 | 163 | 47 | 29 |
544 | You’ll never believe it, but last week I had a guy come in with a monkey on his back. | 1.4393 | 0.04415 | 239 | 160 | 53 | 26 |
545 | At the present time I'm less concerned about your flu symptoms than I am the whereabout of my resident assistant. | 1.4393 | 0.04747 | 214 | 145 | 44 | 25 |
546 | First, let me just say how impressed I am that you managed to change out of your clothes. | 1.4392 | 0.04136 | 255 | 167 | 64 | 24 |
547 | Would you describe the chest pain as sharp, dull or more of a constriction? | 1.4390 | 0.04360 | 246 | 165 | 54 | 27 |
548 | Perhaps you need a different kind of emotional support. | 1.4390 | 0.04205 | 246 | 161 | 62 | 23 |
549 | Any noticeable changes to your reptile dysfunction | 1.4389 | 0.04435 | 262 | 182 | 45 | 35 |
550 | Maybe we skip the colonoscopy today. | 1.4389 | 0.04265 | 221 | 141 | 63 | 17 |
551 | The nurse said remove everything, Mr. Chambers. | 1.4388 | 0.04482 | 237 | 160 | 50 | 27 |
552 | I'm sorry, but your COBRA policy does not cover large boa constriction. | 1.4388 | 0.04639 | 237 | 164 | 42 | 31 |
553 | I’m afraid you have the original preexisting condition. | 1.4387 | 0.04308 | 253 | 170 | 55 | 28 |
554 | Are you still with Eve? | 1.4387 | 0.04308 | 253 | 170 | 55 | 28 |
555 | Next of kin? | 1.4386 | 0.04529 | 228 | 153 | 50 | 25 |
556 | Shortness of breath is the most common side effect, but others experience constipation, skin irritation, and abject terror | 1.4383 | 0.04707 | 235 | 164 | 39 | 32 |
557 | We've found it works faster than laxatives. | 1.4382 | 0.04406 | 251 | 171 | 50 | 30 |
558 | Well, you're the third patient today with a mistaken Amazon delivery. | 1.4382 | 0.04296 | 251 | 168 | 56 | 27 |
559 | Well, the shortness of breath could be caused by any number of things. | 1.4381 | 0.04514 | 226 | 151 | 51 | 24 |
560 | I have a pretty good idea of what's going on but first I'm going to order a few tests. | 1.4380 | 0.04295 | 242 | 160 | 58 | 24 |
561 | She’s less accurate than the normal blood pressure machines, but she also helps with the mice. | 1.4380 | 0.04413 | 242 | 163 | 52 | 27 |
562 | I’m going to prescribe something to help you unwind. | 1.4380 | 0.04566 | 242 | 167 | 44 | 31 |
563 | The test results are back. We think it's a snake. | 1.4380 | 0.04334 | 242 | 161 | 56 | 25 |
564 | The good news is that we can rule out Lyme disease. | 1.4380 | 0.04101 | 258 | 169 | 65 | 24 |
565 | Oddly enough, COBRA does not cover cobra. | 1.4378 | 0.04498 | 233 | 157 | 50 | 26 |
566 | It’ll clear up with anti-hiss-tamines. | 1.4378 | 0.04207 | 249 | 164 | 61 | 24 |
567 | I’m prescribing a muscle relaxer. | 1.4378 | 0.04168 | 249 | 163 | 63 | 23 |
568 | So, have you been out of the country in the last six months? | 1.4375 | 0.04440 | 240 | 162 | 51 | 27 |
569 | Believe it or not, you're actually going to want to use snake oil for this. | 1.4375 | 0.04514 | 256 | 179 | 42 | 35 |
570 | I told you I accepted Cobra, not Boa. | 1.4375 | 0.04479 | 240 | 163 | 49 | 28 |
571 | I’ve seen this go a couple of ways ... | 1.4370 | 0.03994 | 254 | 163 | 71 | 20 |
572 | No, that's normal for boas. But if she still hasn't eaten anything by Monday, bring her back for another appointment. | 1.4370 | 0.04184 | 254 | 168 | 61 | 25 |
573 | I'm prescribing a muscle relaxer for your partner. | 1.4370 | 0.04387 | 238 | 159 | 54 | 25 |
574 | Ah, I see you brought your insurance company with you. | 1.4370 | 0.04661 | 238 | 166 | 40 | 32 |
575 | If there's nothing else I'll just go get my flute. | 1.4369 | 0.04529 | 222 | 148 | 51 | 23 |
576 | And when was you last boa movement? | 1.4365 | 0.04463 | 252 | 174 | 46 | 32 |
577 | Your emotional-support animal needs to come off too. | 1.4363 | 0.04125 | 259 | 171 | 63 | 25 |
578 | The tests were inconclusive. It's either a Burmese or Madagascar python. | 1.4362 | 0.04160 | 243 | 158 | 64 | 21 |
579 | Good news. It should fall off on its own in four to six days. | 1.4361 | 0.04081 | 266 | 176 | 64 | 26 |
580 | Look, I respect your persistence... but a snake coiled around your naked body is, again, not a good reason for me to prescribe medical marijuana. | 1.4360 | 0.04194 | 250 | 165 | 61 | 24 |
581 | And is Eve your ex-wife? | 1.4358 | 0.04220 | 257 | 172 | 58 | 27 |
582 | Do you have COBRA? | 1.4356 | 0.04275 | 264 | 180 | 53 | 31 |
583 | I thought you said BOWEL constriction. | 1.4355 | 0.04370 | 248 | 168 | 52 | 28 |
584 | I'm prescribing a strong mongoose. | 1.4353 | 0.04342 | 232 | 153 | 57 | 22 |
585 | Yes, Bob... definitely a case of Irritable Boa Syndrome. | 1.4353 | 0.04244 | 255 | 171 | 57 | 27 |
586 | And why did you come in today? | 1.4350 | 0.04358 | 246 | 166 | 53 | 27 |
587 | You're fine, but your snake is stressed out and needs to unwind. | 1.4350 | 0.04042 | 246 | 158 | 69 | 19 |
588 | Chest tightness, shortness of breath, feeling of impending doom...I think you’re having a panic attack. | 1.4348 | 0.04342 | 253 | 172 | 52 | 29 |
589 | How big was he when you got him? Where is your wife? | 1.4348 | 0.04342 | 253 | 172 | 52 | 29 |
590 | My apologies. It seems that 'topical anesthesia' was auto-corrected to 'tropical anaconda'... | 1.4346 | 0.04324 | 260 | 178 | 51 | 31 |
591 | You can get a second opinion if you want, but you really need to have that thing removed. | 1.4344 | 0.04345 | 244 | 164 | 54 | 26 |
592 | Has anything changed since last year's physical? | 1.4342 | 0.04396 | 228 | 151 | 55 | 22 |
593 | This is a more naturopathic approach for those with severe constipation. | 1.4340 | 0.04627 | 235 | 163 | 42 | 30 |
594 | Any other symptoms besides the tightness in your chest? | 1.4340 | 0.04385 | 235 | 157 | 54 | 24 |
595 | Frankly, I'm more concerned about your cholesterol. | 1.4340 | 0.04730 | 212 | 144 | 44 | 24 |
596 | You really need to find time to unwind | 1.4336 | 0.04424 | 226 | 150 | 54 | 22 |
597 | In your case, paying out of pocket will be a challenge. | 1.4335 | 0.04412 | 233 | 156 | 53 | 24 |
598 | So, what brings you in to see us today? | 1.4335 | 0.04252 | 263 | 179 | 54 | 30 |
599 | Take two rodents and call me in the morning. | 1.4332 | 0.04648 | 217 | 147 | 46 | 24 |
600 | You have coilitis. | 1.4331 | 0.04255 | 254 | 171 | 56 | 27 |
601 | So no frog in the throat anymore | 1.4329 | 0.04482 | 231 | 156 | 50 | 25 |
602 | Lets start with the good news, your ankles look great | 1.4328 | 0.04384 | 238 | 160 | 53 | 25 |
603 | So tell me, Frank, how long have you been experiencing erreptile disfunction? | 1.4328 | 0.04384 | 238 | 160 | 53 | 25 |
604 | I'll prescribe an antiboatic. | 1.4327 | 0.04483 | 245 | 169 | 46 | 30 |
605 | I guess we can skip the gown. | 1.4327 | 0.04253 | 245 | 163 | 58 | 24 |
606 | You may have a large snake wrapped around you, but we'll need to run some tests. | 1.4324 | 0.04570 | 222 | 150 | 48 | 24 |
607 | Your labs came back negative, so you're free to go. | 1.4323 | 0.04292 | 229 | 150 | 59 | 20 |
608 | We bought our medical equipment from the wrong Amazon. | 1.4323 | 0.04510 | 229 | 155 | 49 | 25 |
609 | After I was fired, I elected to be covered by COBRA | 1.4323 | 0.04758 | 229 | 161 | 37 | 31 |
610 | My diagnosis is that you have 3-6 minutes to live. | 1.4321 | 0.04033 | 243 | 156 | 69 | 18 |
611 | As a veterinarian, the snake will be my first priority. | 1.4320 | 0.04451 | 250 | 173 | 46 | 31 |
612 | Your comfort snake is anxious. Try getting him a dog. | 1.4319 | 0.04325 | 257 | 176 | 51 | 30 |
613 | I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for the Boa | 1.4317 | 0.04496 | 227 | 153 | 50 | 24 |
614 | You're not the first man to come in here with Ereptile Disfunction. | 1.4315 | 0.04538 | 241 | 167 | 44 | 30 |
615 | Any other symptoms beyond shortness of breath? | 1.4310 | 0.04382 | 232 | 155 | 54 | 23 |
616 | Unfortunately, COBRA doesn't cover Boas. | 1.4309 | 0.04431 | 246 | 169 | 48 | 29 |
617 | Yes, tightness in the chest is a symptom of a heart attack, but it could be something else entirely. | 1.4304 | 0.04396 | 237 | 160 | 52 | 25 |
618 | Unfortunately, your insurance company lists this as a pre-existing condition. | 1.4303 | 0.04254 | 251 | 169 | 56 | 26 |
619 | Well I'm glad we could squeeze you in. | 1.4302 | 0.04089 | 265 | 177 | 62 | 26 |
620 | Perhaps we might consider a more appropriate support animal for you. | 1.4299 | 0.04539 | 221 | 149 | 49 | 23 |
621 | Sigh* What ELSE did the internet say you should do? | 1.4298 | 0.04289 | 242 | 162 | 56 | 24 |
622 | Sorry, but your comfort animal will have to stay in the waiting room. | 1.4297 | 0.04278 | 249 | 168 | 55 | 26 |
623 | There are several causes of cold feet. It could be a circulation problem. | 1.4297 | 0.04278 | 249 | 168 | 55 | 26 |
624 | I see you're covered by Aetna and Petplan." | 1.4297 | 0.04192 | 256 | 172 | 58 | 26 |
625 | Any chest pain, tightness, or difficulty breathing? | 1.4296 | 0.04135 | 270 | 183 | 58 | 29 |
626 | It's just a little something to help you unwind. | 1.4292 | 0.04285 | 226 | 148 | 59 | 19 |
627 | You can put your clothes back on,Mr. Matthews. I think we've identified the problem. | 1.4292 | 0.04285 | 226 | 148 | 59 | 19 |
628 | For once, I don't think the problem is your anxiety. | 1.4292 | 0.04285 | 226 | 148 | 59 | 19 |
629 | You have what used to be called “the grippe”. | 1.4291 | 0.04599 | 247 | 175 | 38 | 34 |
630 | I don't see how medicinal marijuana is going to improve this specific situation.... | 1.4291 | 0.04453 | 247 | 171 | 46 | 30 |
631 | Yes Doctor I am still insured under Cobra | 1.4291 | 0.04467 | 254 | 178 | 43 | 33 |
632 | I'm also going to have to ask you to remove your boa. | 1.4286 | 0.04328 | 245 | 166 | 53 | 26 |
633 | I'm hearing a slight rattle. | 1.4286 | 0.03933 | 273 | 180 | 69 | 24 |
634 | I can't up your dose anymore. THIS IS our strongest emotional support pet. | 1.4286 | 0.04300 | 238 | 159 | 56 | 23 |
635 | It's as effective as gastric bypass, but less invasive. | 1.4286 | 0.04351 | 231 | 154 | 55 | 22 |
636 | And where is Eve? | 1.4286 | 0.04540 | 238 | 165 | 44 | 29 |
637 | This treatment has cured hiccups in 94.7% of those surviving the procedure. | 1.4286 | 0.04192 | 259 | 175 | 57 | 27 |
638 | Feed it two mice, and call me in the morning. | 1.4286 | 0.04688 | 196 | 130 | 48 | 18 |
639 | Voter suppression. Florida style. | 1.4280 | 0.04188 | 271 | 186 | 54 | 31 |
640 | Well.....you might want to consider a different therapy pet. | 1.4280 | 0.04251 | 257 | 175 | 54 | 28 |
641 | I'm going to give you something to help you unwind. | 1.4280 | 0.04143 | 257 | 172 | 60 | 25 |
642 | I'd say you have a snake wrapped around your body. That will be 1000 dollars. | 1.4280 | 0.04354 | 243 | 165 | 52 | 26 |
643 | Have you traveled to any foreign countries in the past month? | 1.4280 | 0.04315 | 243 | 164 | 54 | 25 |
644 | Have you traveled outside the country in the last 21 days? | 1.4279 | 0.04523 | 222 | 150 | 49 | 23 |
645 | I’m going to send you over to the zoo for a second opinion. | 1.4276 | 0.03800 | 283 | 185 | 75 | 23 |
646 | Not a serious problem - probably doesn’t know you from Adam | 1.4275 | 0.04121 | 262 | 176 | 60 | 26 |
647 | How would you describe your pain? With 1 being no pain, and 10 being crushed by a boa constrictor. | 1.4275 | 0.04226 | 262 | 179 | 54 | 29 |
648 | Any pets in the home? | 1.4275 | 0.04085 | 262 | 175 | 62 | 25 |
649 | Was there a woman and an apple involved? | 1.4274 | 0.04380 | 241 | 164 | 51 | 26 |
650 | It's a prescription for a mongoose. | 1.4270 | 0.04167 | 267 | 182 | 56 | 29 |
651 | Before I get to the diagnosis, I have to ask how you got undressed. | 1.4268 | 0.04276 | 246 | 166 | 55 | 25 |
652 | Have you recently traveled out of the country? | 1.4268 | 0.04237 | 246 | 165 | 57 | 24 |
653 | I'm sorry. Your COBRA insurance has expired. | 1.4262 | 0.04530 | 244 | 171 | 42 | 31 |
654 | No, I don't think it's just a panic attack. | 1.4262 | 0.04059 | 244 | 159 | 66 | 19 |
655 | I see you selected the COBRA option on your insurance plan. | 1.4262 | 0.04417 | 244 | 168 | 48 | 28 |
656 | Well, I think his tenure as an emotional support animal is pretty much over. | 1.4262 | 0.04493 | 244 | 170 | 44 | 30 |
657 | I guess "cough twice" is out of the question. | 1.4262 | 0.04141 | 244 | 161 | 62 | 21 |
658 | It's grown a lot since your last visit. | 1.4262 | 0.04142 | 237 | 155 | 63 | 19 |
659 | I can only say that your wife Eve told a different story. | 1.4260 | 0.03957 | 277 | 185 | 66 | 26 |
660 | This will help you unwind. | 1.4259 | 0.04471 | 216 | 144 | 52 | 20 |
661 | So, why have you come to see me today? | 1.4259 | 0.04231 | 270 | 187 | 51 | 32 |
662 | Well, he has malnutrition, but that should resolve itself soon. | 1.4259 | 0.04518 | 216 | 145 | 50 | 21 |
663 | And how frequent are the constrictions? | 1.4258 | 0.04369 | 256 | 178 | 47 | 31 |
664 | So, a tightening in your chest. Any other symptoms? | 1.4257 | 0.04313 | 249 | 170 | 52 | 27 |
665 | Meditation could help you both unwind. | 1.4257 | 0.04042 | 249 | 163 | 66 | 20 |
666 | I think I see what the problem is, but your insurance requires that I get a second opinion. | 1.4255 | 0.04295 | 235 | 157 | 56 | 22 |
667 | I’m sorry I couldn’t squeeze you in earlier. | 1.4254 | 0.04345 | 228 | 152 | 55 | 21 |
668 | I'm going to prescribe some Xanax for your friend. That should help her unwind. | 1.4254 | 0.04256 | 228 | 150 | 59 | 19 |
669 | I hear it’s going around. | 1.4252 | 0.04500 | 214 | 143 | 51 | 20 |
670 | Ah, type B, O, and A. | 1.4251 | 0.04506 | 207 | 137 | 52 | 18 |
671 | So, what do you do to unwind? | 1.4251 | 0.04338 | 247 | 169 | 51 | 27 |
672 | And...it might be a good idea for Eve to come in also. | 1.4247 | 0.04656 | 219 | 151 | 43 | 25 |
673 | Other than that you're pretty healthy. | 1.4246 | 0.04085 | 252 | 167 | 63 | 22 |
674 | And you said you hear hissing in which ear? | 1.4246 | 0.04162 | 252 | 169 | 59 | 24 |
675 | Did you eat the apple? | 1.4245 | 0.04402 | 245 | 169 | 48 | 28 |
676 | What can I do for you? | 1.4244 | 0.04419 | 238 | 163 | 49 | 26 |
677 | The good news is, there's nothing medically wrong with you. | 1.4244 | 0.03985 | 271 | 181 | 65 | 25 |
678 | Look, I'll do some tests but I'm pretty sure you've got a snake wrapped around your neck. | 1.4241 | 0.04103 | 257 | 172 | 61 | 24 |
679 | Unfortunately, it’s an endangered species and we will have to let your condition run it’s course. | 1.4241 | 0.04445 | 224 | 151 | 51 | 22 |
680 | You’re okay, but it sounds like he might have a frog in his throat. | 1.4240 | 0.04108 | 250 | 166 | 62 | 22 |
681 | First, tell me how you were able to remove your clothes! | 1.4240 | 0.04502 | 217 | 146 | 50 | 21 |
682 | And how do you feel about Eve now, Adam? | 1.4240 | 0.04596 | 217 | 148 | 46 | 23 |
683 | This should help you unwind. | 1.4240 | 0.04549 | 217 | 147 | 48 | 22 |
684 | The bad news is she'll probably swallow you whole. The good news is you'll be part of the marvelous cycle of life. | 1.4239 | 0.03999 | 276 | 186 | 63 | 27 |
685 | Don't tell me, you bought it on Amazon. | 1.4239 | 0.04351 | 243 | 166 | 51 | 26 |
686 | This is the only case where prescribing snake oil actually works. | 1.4238 | 0.04708 | 210 | 144 | 43 | 23 |
687 | I'm prescribing a flute and music lessons. | 1.4237 | 0.04364 | 236 | 160 | 52 | 24 |
688 | It's time for you to unwind. | 1.4237 | 0.04405 | 236 | 161 | 50 | 25 |
689 | I’m going to prescribe you adder-all | 1.4236 | 0.04286 | 229 | 152 | 57 | 20 |
690 | Does it rattle when you pee? | 1.4234 | 0.04652 | 222 | 154 | 42 | 26 |
691 | Yes, it’s clearly something that’s going around. | 1.4233 | 0.04182 | 215 | 138 | 63 | 14 |
692 | I’m sorry but it looks like your insurance plan covers boa constrictors, anacondas, and other members of the boa family, but what you have there is a reticulated python. | 1.4232 | 0.04456 | 241 | 167 | 46 | 28 |
693 | I can prescribe something for your high blood pressure, or, you can get rid of the snake. | 1.4231 | 0.04105 | 260 | 175 | 60 | 25 |
694 | You seem tense. Before we begin this examination, I want you to relax, unwind and tell me what's eating you. | 1.4229 | 0.04149 | 253 | 170 | 59 | 24 |
695 | I am referring you to a specialist, don’t worry, he’s a real charmer. | 1.4229 | 0.04489 | 227 | 155 | 48 | 24 |
696 | Looks like a serious case of full-monty python | 1.4228 | 0.04500 | 246 | 173 | 42 | 31 |
697 | I think we know what this is but I'll need to run a few more tests to be sure. | 1.4226 | 0.04364 | 239 | 163 | 51 | 25 |
698 | On your intake form you checked, "difficulty breathing;" Are you a smoker? | 1.4226 | 0.04522 | 239 | 167 | 43 | 29 |
699 | We don't accept your coverage. Don't you have a COBRA? | 1.4226 | 0.04072 | 239 | 156 | 65 | 18 |
700 | With your insurance, we can get a snake charmer in next Tuesday. | 1.4226 | 0.04364 | 239 | 163 | 51 | 25 |
701 | Unfortunately, your plan does not cover pre-existing constrictors. | 1.4224 | 0.04376 | 232 | 157 | 52 | 23 |
702 | I know you don't like taking medication but I'm going to give you something to help you unwind. | 1.4223 | 0.04017 | 251 | 165 | 66 | 20 |
703 | Any known allergy to mongooses, Mr. Jones? | 1.4222 | 0.03925 | 270 | 179 | 68 | 23 |
704 | Your insurance company says this is a preexisting condition. | 1.4221 | 0.04070 | 263 | 177 | 61 | 25 |
705 | I'm referring you to Dr. Mortenson. She's quite the charmer. | 1.4218 | 0.04543 | 211 | 142 | 49 | 20 |
706 | Here is a prescription for a big mongoose. | 1.4217 | 0.04488 | 230 | 158 | 47 | 25 |
707 | I know the feeling. I have student loans. | 1.4217 | 0.04359 | 230 | 155 | 53 | 22 |
708 | I’m going to write a prescription for a little something that will help you unwind. | 1.4217 | 0.04227 | 230 | 152 | 59 | 19 |
709 | The good news is the tightness in your chest has nothing to do with your heart. | 1.4215 | 0.04203 | 242 | 162 | 58 | 22 |
710 | I guess we can eliminate family history. | 1.4213 | 0.04163 | 235 | 155 | 61 | 19 |
711 | This is the one condition where snake oil really does work. | 1.4213 | 0.04391 | 254 | 178 | 45 | 31 |
712 | Do you know when the boa last ate? | 1.4211 | 0.04220 | 247 | 167 | 56 | 24 |
713 | There’s definitely something going around. | 1.4204 | 0.04244 | 245 | 166 | 55 | 24 |
714 | On the bright side, this delays your prostate exam. | 1.4203 | 0.03964 | 276 | 186 | 64 | 26 |
715 | I'm sorry, but we cannot not allow your emotional support animal to be with you during the colonoscopy. | 1.4202 | 0.04352 | 257 | 180 | 46 | 31 |
716 | I'll prescribe you an antiboatic. | 1.4202 | 0.04375 | 238 | 163 | 50 | 25 |
717 | We think our new Stress Test is far more affordable and accurate but yes, we’ve had complaints.” | 1.4202 | 0.04375 | 238 | 163 | 50 | 25 |
718 | Im gonna prescribe a muscle-relaxant. That'll straighten him out. | 1.4199 | 0.04344 | 231 | 156 | 53 | 22 |
719 | "Shortness of breath can be caused by many things. | 1.4198 | 0.04229 | 243 | 164 | 56 | 23 |
720 | Actually, you are fine...except for the snake. | 1.4198 | 0.04309 | 243 | 166 | 52 | 25 |
721 | Don't worry, it will shed in a few weeks. | 1.4197 | 0.03882 | 274 | 182 | 69 | 23 |
722 | Your insurance covers python prevention but not python removal. | 1.4196 | 0.03892 | 255 | 166 | 71 | 18 |
723 | If possible, I'd like the $20 co-pay now. | 1.4195 | 0.04094 | 267 | 182 | 58 | 27 |
724 | Of course you’re constipated... your asp is too tight... | 1.4194 | 0.04396 | 248 | 173 | 46 | 29 |
725 | And your health insurance is a ... Cobra plan? | 1.4194 | 0.04506 | 248 | 176 | 40 | 32 |
726 | So, do you want to live free or die? | 1.4194 | 0.04729 | 217 | 152 | 39 | 26 |
727 | The good news is, your scoliosis has cleared up. | 1.4192 | 0.04102 | 260 | 176 | 59 | 25 |
728 | A compression bandage would have worked just as well. | 1.4192 | 0.04174 | 260 | 178 | 55 | 27 |
729 | It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, John. A lot of men have problems with their snakes. | 1.4192 | 0.04371 | 229 | 155 | 52 | 22 |
730 | Your legs look healthy. | 1.4187 | 0.04071 | 246 | 163 | 63 | 20 |
731 | Your blood pressure is quite elevated Mr. Jones, so I'm writing you a prescription for that. I wouldn't worry about the snake, it seems quite healthy. | 1.4187 | 0.04231 | 246 | 167 | 55 | 24 |
732 | I don't care if it makes you calm. I'm not signing this airline form. | 1.4187 | 0.04606 | 246 | 177 | 35 | 34 |
733 | There is no good news. You have become his therapy animal. | 1.4186 | 0.04124 | 258 | 175 | 58 | 25 |
734 | I should've gone with the leeches. | 1.4186 | 0.04480 | 215 | 145 | 50 | 20 |
735 | The good thing about this condition is that it’s easily detectable. | 1.4185 | 0.04217 | 227 | 150 | 59 | 18 |
736 | Sorry you're not covered under COBRA. | 1.4185 | 0.04657 | 227 | 160 | 39 | 28 |
737 | Shortness of breath is quite common with your condition | 1.4184 | 0.04279 | 239 | 162 | 54 | 23 |
738 | So let me get this right. Your boyfriend said he had a fantasy of you showing up at his doorstep wearing nothing but a boa? | 1.4184 | 0.04401 | 239 | 165 | 48 | 26 |
739 | All your tests came back normal. | 1.4182 | 0.03939 | 275 | 185 | 65 | 25 |
740 | Anything else besides shortness of breath? | 1.4181 | 0.04540 | 232 | 162 | 43 | 27 |
741 | I'm afraid your H.R. Department doesn't quite understand the COBRA concept. | 1.4180 | 0.04295 | 244 | 167 | 52 | 25 |
742 | Will you need a note for work? | 1.4180 | 0.03997 | 256 | 170 | 65 | 21 |
743 | I'm prescribing a mongoose for your symptoms. | 1.4179 | 0.04012 | 268 | 181 | 62 | 25 |
744 | I'm sorry sir, but this procedure isn't covered by your COBRA plan. | 1.4177 | 0.04345 | 249 | 173 | 48 | 28 |
745 | First a monkey on your back and now this? | 1.4176 | 0.04161 | 261 | 179 | 55 | 27 |
746 | It's probably just pressure - you should go somewhere and unwind. | 1.4174 | 0.04240 | 242 | 164 | 55 | 23 |
747 | It's something that's going around. | 1.4173 | 0.04095 | 254 | 171 | 60 | 23 |
748 | Unfortunately, Mr. Haverford, that’s a python. Your healthcare provider only covers boas. | 1.4171 | 0.04686 | 211 | 146 | 42 | 23 |
749 | You don't have COBRA. | 1.4170 | 0.04495 | 235 | 164 | 44 | 27 |
750 | What’s the nature of your visit? | 1.4170 | 0.04294 | 247 | 170 | 51 | 26 |
751 | Let's see, trouble breathing, tightness in the chest. Is that all? | 1.4170 | 0.04112 | 259 | 176 | 58 | 25 |
752 | As your vet, I must say everything looks fine. | 1.4170 | 0.04148 | 259 | 177 | 56 | 26 |
753 | Shortness of breath. Tightness in the stomach. Anything else? | 1.4167 | 0.04346 | 240 | 165 | 50 | 25 |
754 | I say we just keep an eye on it and see if it gets any worse. | 1.4167 | 0.04599 | 204 | 138 | 47 | 19 |
755 | Your tests came back normal. It’s probably just anxiety. | 1.4167 | 0.04055 | 264 | 179 | 60 | 25 |
756 | Take two field mice and call me in the morning. | 1.4167 | 0.04465 | 240 | 168 | 44 | 28 |
757 | This should help you both unwind | 1.4167 | 0.04040 | 252 | 168 | 63 | 21 |
758 | Looks like I'm not the only one who squeezed you in today. | 1.4167 | 0.04342 | 252 | 176 | 47 | 29 |
759 | And finally, would you say you feel safe at home? | 1.4163 | 0.04243 | 257 | 178 | 51 | 28 |
760 | Unfortunately, that snake has you better covered than your health insurance. | 1.4163 | 0.04399 | 233 | 160 | 49 | 24 |
761 | Sounds like a panic attack, but let me take a look at you. | 1.4163 | 0.04528 | 221 | 152 | 46 | 23 |
762 | Definitely come see me if you notice it getting bigger. | 1.4160 | 0.03931 | 262 | 174 | 67 | 21 |
763 | I see your COBRA payments have kicked in. | 1.4160 | 0.04476 | 250 | 178 | 40 | 32 |
764 | I’m prescribing an anti strangulant. | 1.4160 | 0.04035 | 238 | 156 | 65 | 17 |
765 | So, what happened to Eve? | 1.4160 | 0.04331 | 238 | 163 | 51 | 24 |
766 | Chuck, what you've got is going around. | 1.4157 | 0.04194 | 255 | 175 | 54 | 26 |
767 | Taking patient's blood pressure is Larry's favorite part of the job. | 1.4157 | 0.04339 | 255 | 179 | 46 | 30 |
768 | I’ve seen bigger. | 1.4156 | 0.04266 | 243 | 166 | 53 | 24 |
769 | You've got what's going around | 1.4156 | 0.04226 | 243 | 165 | 55 | 23 |
770 | It’s going to be tricky to find you an in-network mongoose. | 1.4156 | 0.04469 | 231 | 160 | 46 | 25 |
771 | We think we know the problem, but we'll check you for Lyme disease just in case. | 1.4156 | 0.04427 | 231 | 159 | 48 | 24 |
772 | It says here that you've been under a lot of pressure lately... | 1.4156 | 0.04427 | 231 | 159 | 48 | 24 |
773 | Did't you also have a Poodle | 1.4154 | 0.04135 | 272 | 189 | 53 | 30 |
774 | One mouse a day at 4 P.M. | 1.4154 | 0.03989 | 260 | 174 | 64 | 22 |
775 | COBRA plans aren't what they used to be. | 1.4154 | 0.04345 | 260 | 184 | 44 | 32 |
776 | It seems the monkey on your back was eaten by something else. | 1.4153 | 0.04125 | 248 | 167 | 59 | 22 |
777 | The snake actually covers you better than your health insurance does. | 1.4153 | 0.04357 | 236 | 162 | 50 | 24 |
778 | I'm sorry it took so long for you to be seen, but for future reference "There's a boa around my neck" has multiple meanings. | 1.4153 | 0.04357 | 236 | 162 | 50 | 24 |
779 | And is that when you told Eve it was her fault? | 1.4149 | 0.04564 | 241 | 172 | 38 | 31 |
780 | We found no one liked the blood pressure cuff. | 1.4148 | 0.04539 | 229 | 160 | 43 | 26 |
781 | Let's see . . . non-smoker, no history of major illness, no surgeries . . . so, what brings you in today? | 1.4147 | 0.04634 | 217 | 151 | 42 | 24 |
782 | Maybe you're not as charming as you think. | 1.4146 | 0.04227 | 246 | 168 | 54 | 24 |
783 | Let's postpone your colonoscopy. | 1.4144 | 0.04064 | 263 | 179 | 59 | 25 |
784 | Instagram or Snapchat? | 1.4143 | 0.04166 | 251 | 171 | 56 | 24 |
785 | So I guess we should reschedule that colonoscopy? | 1.4143 | 0.04166 | 251 | 171 | 56 | 24 |
786 | I'm sorry, your insurance only covers bites, not constrictions. | 1.4143 | 0.04700 | 210 | 146 | 41 | 23 |
787 | So, you say it is more of a hiss rather than a ringing in your ears? | 1.4142 | 0.04151 | 239 | 160 | 59 | 20 |
788 | I'm writing you a prescription to unwind. | 1.4141 | 0.04259 | 227 | 152 | 56 | 19 |
789 | I still think gastric bypass was the better option... | 1.4141 | 0.04439 | 227 | 156 | 48 | 23 |
790 | I still don't quite get how it ate your pants. | 1.4141 | 0.04107 | 256 | 174 | 58 | 24 |
791 | Sorry, but you only get COBRA coverage if you've lost your job. | 1.4141 | 0.04217 | 256 | 177 | 52 | 27 |
792 | For starters, you've become too attached to your pet. | 1.4140 | 0.04427 | 215 | 145 | 51 | 19 |
793 | No sir, I don’t think it’s ringworm. | 1.4139 | 0.04252 | 244 | 167 | 53 | 24 |
794 | Anything else? | 1.4139 | 0.03956 | 273 | 185 | 63 | 25 |
795 | Current address still: Eden, Garden of? Emergency contact: Eve? | 1.4138 | 0.04618 | 232 | 165 | 38 | 29 |
796 | Any recent trips overseas? | 1.4137 | 0.04151 | 249 | 169 | 57 | 23 |
797 | I think you'll find that when we get this removed, a colonoscopy won't seem so bad. | 1.4135 | 0.04301 | 237 | 162 | 52 | 23 |
798 | Some airlines have tightened their rules lately, but this letter might help. | 1.4134 | 0.04092 | 254 | 172 | 59 | 23 |
799 | And you're Monty, I take it? | 1.4134 | 0.04350 | 254 | 179 | 45 | 30 |
800 | Take two mice and call me in the morning. | 1.4131 | 0.04697 | 213 | 149 | 40 | 24 |
801 | I'm afraid my recommendation will depend on which one of you has better insurance. | 1.4130 | 0.04565 | 230 | 162 | 41 | 27 |
802 | Let's not jump to any conclusions until we can run some tests. | 1.4130 | 0.04014 | 247 | 164 | 64 | 19 |
803 | Yes we can remove it. No it's not called a Hissterectomy. | 1.4128 | 0.04285 | 235 | 160 | 53 | 22 |
804 | Kick once for yes, two for no. | 1.4128 | 0.04156 | 235 | 157 | 59 | 19 |
805 | No, I'm sure you won't need another appointment. | 1.4128 | 0.04285 | 235 | 160 | 53 | 22 |
806 | We all agree. It's an Anaconda. Was there anything else? | 1.4125 | 0.03904 | 257 | 170 | 68 | 19 |
807 | A vet would've been a lot less expensive. | 1.4125 | 0.04094 | 257 | 175 | 58 | 24 |
808 | Ah, I see you’ve already met Dr. Boa. He’ll be preforming your colonoscopy today. | 1.4123 | 0.04800 | 228 | 166 | 30 | 32 |
809 | So what’s the reason for the visit? | 1.4122 | 0.04077 | 245 | 164 | 61 | 20 |
810 | Any family history of this sort of thing? | 1.4122 | 0.04158 | 245 | 166 | 57 | 22 |
811 | The good news is, it's not asthma. | 1.4120 | 0.04438 | 233 | 162 | 46 | 25 |
812 | You think you feel squeezed now, wait 'til you see my bill. | 1.4120 | 0.04396 | 233 | 161 | 48 | 24 |
813 | The good news is it’s temporary, the bad news is I’m talking to the snake. | 1.4120 | 0.04268 | 233 | 158 | 54 | 21 |
814 | Who sold you this COBRA plan? | 1.4120 | 0.04438 | 233 | 162 | 46 | 25 |
815 | So what seems to be the trouble? | 1.4120 | 0.04214 | 250 | 172 | 53 | 25 |
816 | For insurance purposes, I'm going to call this a major constriction. | 1.4118 | 0.04203 | 238 | 161 | 56 | 21 |
817 | Looks like this time he charmed the pants off of you. | 1.4118 | 0.04746 | 221 | 158 | 35 | 28 |
818 | Okay, lets try one blink for yes and twice for no! | 1.4118 | 0.04449 | 238 | 167 | 44 | 27 |
819 | Look, I’m a hepatologists, and your liver looks in really good shape. You need a herpetologist for that other thing. | 1.4115 | 0.04096 | 260 | 178 | 57 | 25 |
820 | So, we’ll skip the rectal exam today. | 1.4113 | 0.03928 | 282 | 193 | 62 | 27 |
821 | When's the last time either of you ate? | 1.4113 | 0.04022 | 231 | 151 | 65 | 15 |
822 | Well, your blood pressure is high, but that won’t matter much longer. | 1.4113 | 0.04590 | 231 | 164 | 39 | 28 |
823 | Otherwise, how was your trip to the Everglades? | 1.4113 | 0.04205 | 231 | 155 | 57 | 19 |
824 | Let me guess, it's after the frog in your throat. | 1.4111 | 0.04215 | 253 | 175 | 52 | 26 |
825 | Your relationship isn’t toxic, but it is suffocating. | 1.4111 | 0.03985 | 253 | 169 | 64 | 20 |
826 | The good news? The tightness in your chest has nothing to with your heart.” | 1.4110 | 0.04142 | 236 | 158 | 59 | 19 |
827 | Sorry...undress means removing your boa too... | 1.4110 | 0.04228 | 236 | 160 | 55 | 21 |
828 | Other than trouble taking a deep breath, no complaints? | 1.4110 | 0.04269 | 219 | 146 | 56 | 17 |
829 | To lower your blood pressure, I’m prescribing a live goat. | 1.4109 | 0.03967 | 275 | 188 | 61 | 26 |
830 | It’s not terminal. For the snake. | 1.4108 | 0.04165 | 241 | 163 | 57 | 21 |
831 | That's not what I meant when I said you should have COBRA coverage." Joan Black, Easton Connecticu | 1.4107 | 0.04823 | 224 | 163 | 30 | 31 |
832 | The good news is, you don't have worms. | 1.4107 | 0.04434 | 224 | 154 | 48 | 22 |
833 | And is it causing you any discomfort? | 1.4106 | 0.03916 | 263 | 176 | 66 | 21 |
834 | Well, all our tests are negative. But tell me again why you brought this man with you? | 1.4106 | 0.04302 | 246 | 171 | 49 | 26 |
835 | So Adam, What seems to be the problem? | 1.4106 | 0.04340 | 246 | 172 | 47 | 27 |
836 | I've seen dozens of patients come in with monkeys on their backs, but this is a first. | 1.4106 | 0.04064 | 246 | 165 | 61 | 20 |
837 | So he's having trouble swallowing? | 1.4105 | 0.04364 | 229 | 157 | 50 | 22 |
838 | You need to find a different support animal. | 1.4104 | 0.04041 | 268 | 184 | 58 | 26 |
839 | So, for your first drag queen appearance, when they said, “Wear a boa” they meant a feathery, long scarf. | 1.4104 | 0.04276 | 251 | 175 | 49 | 27 |
840 | I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Johnson, but we can't do anything for you without a referral from your vet. | 1.4104 | 0.04007 | 251 | 168 | 63 | 20 |
841 | That reminds me, Mr. Johnson, you're due for a colonoscopy. | 1.4104 | 0.04239 | 251 | 174 | 51 | 26 |
842 | Have you been under a lot of pressure lately? | 1.4104 | 0.04276 | 251 | 175 | 49 | 27 |
843 | You may experience some loss of bladder control. | 1.4104 | 0.04201 | 251 | 173 | 53 | 25 |
844 | And the prescription for Xanax will help you unwind. | 1.4103 | 0.04380 | 234 | 162 | 48 | 24 |
845 | I’m going to write a prescription for Viagra which should straighten this whole thing out. | 1.4102 | 0.04322 | 256 | 181 | 45 | 30 |
846 | We could play the good news / bad news game, but you really don't have a lot of time for that. | 1.4101 | 0.04296 | 217 | 145 | 55 | 17 |
847 | Your chest feels tight? Well, that could be a lot of things. | 1.4100 | 0.04189 | 239 | 162 | 56 | 21 |
848 | Sorry for the wait... I’m having trouble finding the right medical billing code. | 1.4097 | 0.04163 | 227 | 151 | 59 | 17 |
849 | Tightness in the chest. Anything else? | 1.4097 | 0.04435 | 227 | 157 | 47 | 23 |
850 | We received the test results and I think I finally know what the problem is | 1.4095 | 0.04447 | 210 | 142 | 50 | 18 |
851 | I am sorry but there just isn't anything we can do for the common coiled. | 1.4095 | 0.04365 | 232 | 160 | 49 | 23 |
852 | It says here you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. | 1.4095 | 0.04235 | 232 | 157 | 55 | 20 |
853 | The problem is that seems to be a python and, the thing of it is, we only accept COBRA. | 1.4093 | 0.04567 | 215 | 149 | 44 | 22 |
854 | This does seem to be going around. | 1.4093 | 0.04298 | 237 | 163 | 51 | 23 |
855 | Sorry but your insurance doesn't cover pre-constricted conditions | 1.4093 | 0.04069 | 259 | 177 | 58 | 24 |
856 | No, I will not certify him as an emotional support snake" | 1.4091 | 0.04254 | 220 | 147 | 56 | 17 |
857 | Any tightening in the chest? | 1.4091 | 0.04353 | 242 | 169 | 47 | 26 |
858 | Let's start with why you don't have any clothes on. | 1.4089 | 0.04249 | 247 | 171 | 51 | 25 |
859 | Prunes will do the job and are less restrictive. | 1.4089 | 0.04091 | 247 | 167 | 59 | 21 |
860 | You just left your job. I guess it's safe to assume you have COBRA coverage. | 1.4089 | 0.04438 | 247 | 176 | 41 | 30 |
861 | I am going to give you something to unwind. | 1.4089 | 0.04210 | 247 | 170 | 53 | 24 |
862 | So how is COBRA working out for you? | 1.4089 | 0.04249 | 247 | 171 | 51 | 25 |
863 | Ah, I see you are being prepped for your colonoscopy. | 1.4088 | 0.03873 | 274 | 185 | 66 | 23 |
864 | Take two a day for you reptile disfunction. | 1.4087 | 0.04225 | 252 | 175 | 51 | 26 |
865 | I’m prescribing Valium for you and cyanide for your friend. Be careful not to mix them up. | 1.4087 | 0.04187 | 252 | 174 | 53 | 25 |
866 | Trust me he's not covered under your COBRA plan. | 1.4085 | 0.04281 | 235 | 161 | 52 | 22 |
867 | I see you have been spending time in the White House..... | 1.4085 | 0.04608 | 235 | 169 | 36 | 30 |
868 | The X-rays show you have a human stuck in your coils. | 1.4085 | 0.03906 | 284 | 195 | 62 | 27 |
869 | If I were you, Mr. Morris, I'd choose a different emotional support animal. | 1.4083 | 0.04217 | 240 | 164 | 54 | 22 |
870 | We need to do a hisssterectomy. | 1.4083 | 0.04298 | 240 | 166 | 50 | 24 |
871 | Yes, a lot of it's going around. | 1.4083 | 0.04520 | 218 | 151 | 45 | 22 |
872 | Take these twice a day with food. Also, you may want to do something about the snake. | 1.4082 | 0.04114 | 245 | 166 | 58 | 21 |
873 | You might have picked something up while visiting Brazil. | 1.4082 | 0.03990 | 245 | 163 | 64 | 18 |
874 | You've certainly gone to great lengths to avoid your prostate exam. | 1.4081 | 0.04624 | 223 | 158 | 39 | 26 |
875 | There’s no magic pill. You just need to unwind. | 1.4081 | 0.04354 | 223 | 152 | 51 | 20 |
876 | So, Adam, I'm guessing you ate the apple. | 1.4080 | 0.04056 | 250 | 169 | 60 | 21 |
877 | You also have chlamydia. | 1.4080 | 0.04398 | 250 | 178 | 42 | 30 |
878 | Can you still see this "snake"? | 1.4078 | 0.04188 | 255 | 177 | 52 | 26 |
879 | So this happened right after she handed you the apple? | 1.4077 | 0.04350 | 233 | 161 | 49 | 23 |
880 | I'm going to have to ask you to turn your cellphone off. | 1.4077 | 0.04516 | 233 | 165 | 41 | 27 |
881 | We’ll know more after your tests come back, | 1.4077 | 0.04019 | 260 | 177 | 60 | 23 |
882 | So I'm going to put down 'emotional support animal'. | 1.4076 | 0.04157 | 238 | 161 | 57 | 20 |
883 | Lab test results say it's a snake. | 1.4076 | 0.04365 | 238 | 166 | 47 | 25 |
884 | You've got a snake, I'm left-handed; we all have our problems. | 1.4074 | 0.04219 | 243 | 167 | 53 | 23 |
885 | I'm afraid our options are somewhat constricted. | 1.4074 | 0.04137 | 243 | 165 | 57 | 21 |
886 | Other than that, how was the trip to the Amazon? | 1.4074 | 0.04178 | 243 | 166 | 55 | 22 |
887 | Let's go with "Shortness of breath, other." | 1.4074 | 0.04338 | 243 | 170 | 47 | 26 |
888 | I should probably skip asking you to take a deep breath. | 1.4071 | 0.04174 | 253 | 175 | 53 | 25 |
889 | You should have gone with the non-binding agreement. | 1.4070 | 0.04223 | 258 | 181 | 49 | 28 |
890 | It's a Catch-22. I can't treat you until you sign a waiver. | 1.4069 | 0.04376 | 231 | 160 | 48 | 23 |
891 | Give it three mice every four hours and call me in the morning. | 1.4069 | 0.04156 | 231 | 155 | 58 | 18 |
892 | Yes, that's probably a python, but I'd like to do CAT scan and a few other expensive tests to be sure. | 1.4068 | 0.03986 | 263 | 179 | 61 | 23 |
893 | Any tightness in your chest? | 1.4065 | 0.04484 | 214 | 147 | 47 | 20 |
894 | First, the good news. Your chest pain isn't a heart attack. | 1.4065 | 0.04019 | 246 | 165 | 62 | 19 |
895 | So you’re still using your Cobra insurance? | 1.4064 | 0.04861 | 219 | 160 | 29 | 30 |
896 | Let's try a different comfort animal " | 1.4064 | 0.04082 | 251 | 171 | 58 | 22 |
897 | Which one of you am I seeing first? | 1.4064 | 0.03784 | 283 | 191 | 69 | 23 |
898 | And have you travelled to any tropical countries in the past 30 days? | 1.4062 | 0.03909 | 256 | 171 | 66 | 19 |
899 | If it gets any bigger, let us know. | 1.4061 | 0.03970 | 261 | 177 | 62 | 22 |
900 | I'm a little concerned about your blood pressure. | 1.4061 | 0.04134 | 229 | 153 | 59 | 17 |
901 | In this case, snake oil is exactly what you need. | 1.4060 | 0.04377 | 234 | 163 | 47 | 24 |
902 | I’d still like to run a few tests to be sure. | 1.4059 | 0.04185 | 239 | 163 | 55 | 21 |
903 | You’re fine, but the snake has a hernia. | 1.4057 | 0.04124 | 244 | 166 | 57 | 21 |
904 | As you make payments towards my bill, we will replace him with progressively smaller snakes. | 1.4056 | 0.04183 | 249 | 172 | 53 | 24 |
905 | This isn't quite doing it. I'm going to try you on Anaconda for a month. | 1.4054 | 0.04366 | 222 | 152 | 50 | 20 |
906 | So, what’s been eating you? | 1.4053 | 0.04220 | 264 | 187 | 47 | 30 |
907 | I'm only a student but chest pressure, shortness of breath, anxiety sounds like a panic attack to me. | 1.4053 | 0.04603 | 227 | 162 | 38 | 27 |
908 | So,what’s the problem. | 1.4053 | 0.04297 | 227 | 155 | 52 | 20 |
909 | You said you were ok with a generic vasoconstrictor. | 1.4051 | 0.04417 | 237 | 167 | 44 | 26 |
910 | OK, but no discomfort in the lower legs, is that right? | 1.4051 | 0.04210 | 237 | 162 | 54 | 21 |
911 | Besides that, how are you feeling in general? | 1.4051 | 0.04210 | 237 | 162 | 54 | 21 |
912 | Is anything else bothering you ? | 1.4050 | 0.04147 | 242 | 165 | 56 | 21 |
913 | Unfortunately, an anti-hiss-tamine won’t help this time around. | 1.4050 | 0.04270 | 242 | 168 | 50 | 24 |
914 | The snake is overweight, but everything else is normal. | 1.4049 | 0.04412 | 205 | 138 | 51 | 16 |
915 | This will work like a charmer. | 1.4049 | 0.04167 | 247 | 170 | 54 | 23 |
916 | So Howard, what brings you in today? | 1.4048 | 0.04221 | 252 | 176 | 50 | 26 |
917 | Any other pressing problems? | 1.4048 | 0.04107 | 252 | 173 | 56 | 23 |
918 | I'll write an Emotional Support letter,but I don't think they'll let you board. | 1.4047 | 0.04012 | 257 | 175 | 60 | 22 |
919 | I recommend a coilonoscopy. | 1.4046 | 0.03883 | 262 | 176 | 66 | 20 |
920 | On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the pressure? | 1.4045 | 0.04624 | 220 | 156 | 39 | 25 |
921 | I’m afraid your insurance only covers animal bites. Let’s just wait a while and see what happens. | 1.4045 | 0.04012 | 267 | 184 | 58 | 25 |
922 | Mrs. Davis, do you mind if I speak to your husband alone for a few minutes? | 1.4044 | 0.04369 | 225 | 155 | 49 | 21 |
923 | What can I do for you today, Mr. Jones? | 1.4043 | 0.04388 | 230 | 160 | 47 | 23 |
924 | I’m prescribing some snake oil to loosen that up. | 1.4043 | 0.04211 | 230 | 156 | 55 | 19 |
925 | And finally Adam, do you feel safe at home? | 1.4043 | 0.04525 | 235 | 168 | 39 | 28 |
926 | You'll need to remove the snake,too. | 1.4042 | 0.04335 | 240 | 168 | 47 | 25 |
927 | Any pre-constricting conditions? | 1.4042 | 0.04213 | 240 | 165 | 53 | 22 |
928 | Have you traveled outside the United States in the last six months? | 1.4041 | 0.04110 | 245 | 167 | 57 | 21 |
929 | Have you travelled outside the US recently? | 1.4041 | 0.04110 | 245 | 167 | 57 | 21 |
930 | I'm prescribing a new pet. | 1.4041 | 0.04110 | 245 | 167 | 57 | 21 |
931 | Feed him two rats and try to call me in the morning. | 1.4041 | 0.04270 | 245 | 171 | 49 | 25 |
932 | You wouldn’t believe the day I’m having. | 1.4040 | 0.04091 | 250 | 171 | 57 | 22 |
933 | So you'd just bitten into the apple? | 1.4040 | 0.03972 | 250 | 168 | 63 | 19 |
934 | Anything more specific than 'shortness of breath'? | 1.4040 | 0.04169 | 250 | 173 | 53 | 24 |
935 | So, what seems to be the matter? | 1.4039 | 0.04496 | 203 | 138 | 48 | 17 |
936 | Oh,him? He's just here to check your prostate. | 1.4039 | 0.04257 | 255 | 180 | 47 | 28 |
937 | Rate your constriction on a scale of 1 to 10. | 1.4039 | 0.04365 | 255 | 183 | 41 | 31 |
938 | I’m hoping this muscle relaxer will do the trick. | 1.4039 | 0.03957 | 255 | 172 | 63 | 20 |
939 | Good news! I found a herpetologist in your provider network. | 1.4038 | 0.03865 | 260 | 174 | 67 | 19 |
940 | So, shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping and range of motion restrictions in the arms and shoulders; we'll need to run some tests. | 1.4038 | 0.04782 | 213 | 153 | 34 | 26 |
941 | I believe a dog would be a better comfort animal. | 1.4036 | 0.03961 | 275 | 190 | 59 | 26 |
942 | Any tightness in the chest? | 1.4036 | 0.04442 | 223 | 155 | 46 | 22 |
943 | If the snake doesn’t spark joy, I suggest getting rid of it. | 1.4036 | 0.03942 | 280 | 194 | 59 | 27 |
944 | Unfortunately our herpetologists are all out of network. | 1.4034 | 0.04320 | 238 | 166 | 48 | 24 |
945 | Other than that, would you rate your overall health as excellent, good, or fair? | 1.4033 | 0.04008 | 243 | 163 | 62 | 18 |
946 | Again?" | 1.4032 | 0.04270 | 248 | 174 | 48 | 26 |
947 | Shortness of breath? Any other symptoms I should know about? | 1.4031 | 0.04074 | 258 | 178 | 56 | 24 |
948 | So, how's Eve? | 1.4030 | 0.03982 | 263 | 180 | 60 | 23 |
949 | You’re lucky I could squeeze you in. | 1.4026 | 0.04499 | 231 | 164 | 41 | 26 |
950 | It’s funny, but this us not covered by your COBRA insurance! | 1.4025 | 0.04387 | 236 | 166 | 45 | 25 |
951 | Certainly, the snake is one possible explanation for your shortness of breath. However, I make a lot more money if we run a series of unnecessary tests. | 1.4025 | 0.04400 | 241 | 171 | 43 | 27 |
952 | It's a tropical thing that's going around. | 1.4024 | 0.03932 | 246 | 164 | 65 | 17 |
953 | How can I examine this snake with you in there? | 1.4024 | 0.04295 | 246 | 173 | 47 | 26 |
954 | Your insurance only covers snakes under ten feet long. | 1.4024 | 0.04137 | 246 | 169 | 55 | 22 |
955 | Any other symptoms? | 1.4024 | 0.03999 | 251 | 170 | 61 | 20 |
956 | The good news is that it's not a tapeworm. | 1.4024 | 0.04039 | 251 | 171 | 59 | 21 |
957 | Do you have cobra insurance? | 1.4024 | 0.04306 | 251 | 178 | 45 | 28 |
958 | You’re lucky I went to medical school in the Caribbean. | 1.4024 | 0.04039 | 251 | 171 | 59 | 21 |
959 | You gotta unwind. | 1.4018 | 0.04334 | 224 | 154 | 50 | 20 |
960 | Unfortunately Mr. Monty, your health plan doesn’t cover Ereptile Dysfunction! | 1.4017 | 0.04386 | 239 | 169 | 44 | 26 |
961 | So what seems to be the matter here? | 1.4017 | 0.04346 | 239 | 168 | 46 | 25 |
962 | I see you still have your COBRA benefits, everything else the same? | 1.4016 | 0.04320 | 244 | 172 | 46 | 26 |
963 | Have you traveled out of the country in the last three weeks? | 1.4016 | 0.04201 | 244 | 169 | 52 | 23 |
964 | By 'pre-existing,' I mean you had it before you got here. | 1.4016 | 0.04268 | 254 | 180 | 46 | 28 |
965 | I see that you marked “Yes” on “Shortness of Breath”. | 1.4015 | 0.04006 | 264 | 182 | 58 | 24 |
966 | This requires an injection. Would you like it in your arm or your asp? | 1.4009 | 0.04668 | 217 | 155 | 37 | 25 |
967 | This perscription will help you unwind. | 1.4009 | 0.04201 | 227 | 154 | 55 | 18 |
968 | When I said a restricted diet, I meant a calorie-restricted diet. | 1.4009 | 0.04046 | 232 | 155 | 61 | 16 |
969 | It's the high blood pressure that worries me | 1.4008 | 0.04184 | 242 | 167 | 53 | 22 |
970 | Okay, trouble breathing. Any other symptoms? | 1.4008 | 0.04163 | 247 | 171 | 53 | 23 |
971 | Any family history of anacondas, boa constrictors or reticulated pythons? | 1.4008 | 0.04065 | 252 | 173 | 57 | 22 |
972 | Last question. Have you been to any exotic locations during the past three months? | 1.4000 | 0.04167 | 240 | 165 | 54 | 21 |
973 | Your cobra plan should take about 6 weeks to kick in. | 1.4000 | 0.04065 | 265 | 185 | 54 | 26 |
974 | Maybe you should consider a different emotional support animal . | 1.4000 | 0.04131 | 225 | 151 | 58 | 16 |
975 | Unfortunately, Animal Control is an out-of-network provider. | 1.4000 | 0.04217 | 255 | 180 | 48 | 27 |
976 | This is not what we meant by `support animal’ | 1.4000 | 0.04845 | 195 | 138 | 36 | 21 |
977 | So, any unusual symptoms? | 1.4000 | 0.04024 | 245 | 166 | 60 | 19 |
978 | I'm just going to have to disagree with WebMD on this one. It isn't cancer. | 1.4000 | 0.04106 | 255 | 177 | 54 | 24 |
979 | Sir, it seems you've contracted e-boa | 1.4000 | 0.04586 | 225 | 161 | 38 | 26 |
980 | We think the reason for your difficult breathing is the snake, but to be sure, we’d like to run some tests.. | 1.4000 | 0.03976 | 270 | 187 | 58 | 25 |
981 | Have you traveled outside the country in the past few weeks? | 1.4000 | 0.03992 | 255 | 174 | 60 | 21 |
982 | Next time try a turtle neck | 1.3992 | 0.03905 | 263 | 179 | 63 | 21 |
983 | A little snake oil should do the trick. | 1.3992 | 0.03905 | 263 | 179 | 63 | 21 |
984 | As a last resort we could try to remove it. | 1.3992 | 0.04034 | 258 | 178 | 57 | 23 |
985 | I'm going to start off by prescribing you some mice. | 1.3992 | 0.03920 | 258 | 175 | 63 | 20 |
986 | I’m not going to ask what happened this time. | 1.3992 | 0.04167 | 253 | 177 | 51 | 25 |
987 | In my professional opinion, a weighted blanket would be just as effective and have fewer side effects. | 1.3992 | 0.04129 | 253 | 176 | 53 | 24 |
988 | The good news is your snake is going to be OK. | 1.3992 | 0.04129 | 243 | 167 | 55 | 21 |
989 | Not a wise choice for a halloween contest, was it? | 1.3992 | 0.04275 | 238 | 166 | 49 | 23 |
990 | This isn't covered by your insurance. Come back if it bites. | 1.3992 | 0.04275 | 238 | 166 | 49 | 23 |
991 | I know your in a tight spot right now, but if you could sign these forms it'd be great. | 1.3992 | 0.04233 | 238 | 165 | 51 | 22 |
992 | Bill, I'm afraid this'll be a little trickier than the mole on you back last year. | 1.3991 | 0.04167 | 233 | 159 | 55 | 19 |
993 | All I can say is that must have been some bachelor party. | 1.3991 | 0.04232 | 228 | 156 | 53 | 19 |
994 | It's time to reassess: is this particular emotional support animal giving you more than it takes out of you? | 1.3991 | 0.04483 | 223 | 157 | 43 | 23 |
995 | Present this note at the gate and you shouldn't have any issues flying with your emotional support animal. | 1.3991 | 0.04417 | 218 | 151 | 47 | 20 |
996 | Have you traveled outside the United States within the last 6 months? | 1.3984 | 0.04204 | 256 | 181 | 48 | 27 |
997 | Well, let's start with this. Have you been out of the country recently? | 1.3984 | 0.03979 | 256 | 175 | 60 | 21 |
998 | I say there's nothing wrong here, but I'm just your vet. | 1.3984 | 0.04190 | 251 | 176 | 50 | 25 |
999 | OK, weight gain, tightness in the chest...any other symptoms" | 1.3984 | 0.03927 | 246 | 165 | 64 | 17 |
1000 | How was your vacation? | 1.3984 | 0.04052 | 246 | 168 | 58 | 20 |
1001 | We'll need to get some bloodwork done just to be sure. | 1.3984 | 0.04173 | 246 | 171 | 52 | 23 |
1002 | On a scale of hug to asphyxiation, how would you describe this tightness in your chest? | 1.3984 | 0.04052 | 246 | 168 | 58 | 20 |
1003 | No,she seems pretty healthy, but you were wise to bring her in regardless. | 1.3984 | 0.04093 | 246 | 169 | 56 | 21 |
1004 | Any shortness of breath? | 1.3983 | 0.04194 | 241 | 167 | 52 | 22 |
1005 | Sorry, but the insurance will not approve the operation without your signature. | 1.3983 | 0.04584 | 236 | 172 | 34 | 30 |
1006 | What exactly is the problem? | 1.3983 | 0.04453 | 231 | 164 | 42 | 25 |
1007 | Of course an MRI will be more conclusive. | 1.3983 | 0.04237 | 231 | 159 | 52 | 20 |
1008 | The good news is, it’s not a tumor” | 1.3982 | 0.04131 | 221 | 148 | 58 | 15 |
1009 | And would you say this tightness in your chest started before or after you came home from safari?' | 1.3982 | 0.04557 | 221 | 157 | 40 | 24 |
1010 | Any trouble eating, sleeping, peeing, bowel movements, or sex? | 1.3981 | 0.04541 | 216 | 152 | 42 | 22 |
1011 | That was quite a trick, getting your shirt off. | 1.3981 | 0.04493 | 216 | 151 | 44 | 21 |
1012 | Compression sock... Is my handwriting that bad? | 1.3977 | 0.03984 | 259 | 178 | 59 | 22 |
1013 | Have you traveled outside the country within the last two weeks? | 1.3976 | 0.03961 | 254 | 173 | 61 | 20 |
1014 | It's really up to you Mr. Smith. Is this something you can live with or do you want to see a specialist? | 1.3976 | 0.04077 | 254 | 176 | 55 | 23 |
1015 | We found an anomaly in your x-ray. You have 832 extra ribs and vertebrae. | 1.3976 | 0.04057 | 249 | 171 | 57 | 21 |
1016 | No, the Xanax is to help the snake to relax, not you. | 1.3976 | 0.04017 | 249 | 170 | 59 | 20 |
1017 | On the plus side, it's the only thing holding you together. | 1.3975 | 0.04237 | 244 | 171 | 49 | 24 |
1018 | Unfortunately you’re only covered if it actually bites you. | 1.3975 | 0.04116 | 244 | 168 | 55 | 21 |
1019 | Now, which of you is the patient? | 1.3975 | 0.04033 | 244 | 166 | 59 | 19 |
1020 | Well, the good news is I can explain the breathing problems and sudden weight gain... | 1.3975 | 0.04092 | 239 | 163 | 57 | 19 |
1021 | Unfortunately, it's feed a boa and starve a fever, not the other way around." | 1.3975 | 0.04219 | 239 | 166 | 51 | 22 |
1022 | I'll write you a prescription for a flute. | 1.3975 | 0.04342 | 239 | 169 | 45 | 25 |
1023 | I think we'll give him something to help him relax a bit. | 1.3975 | 0.04260 | 239 | 167 | 49 | 23 |
1024 | Good news - it looks like he's benign. | 1.3975 | 0.04049 | 239 | 162 | 59 | 18 |
1025 | Other than shortness of breath, have you experienced any other symptoms? | 1.3975 | 0.04092 | 239 | 163 | 57 | 19 |
1026 | No I am a veterinarian and we are trying to figure out how to have you removed. | 1.3974 | 0.04451 | 234 | 167 | 41 | 26 |
1027 | So, when did the contractions start? | 1.3974 | 0.04395 | 229 | 161 | 45 | 23 |
1028 | It's a textbook emboalism. | 1.3974 | 0.04262 | 229 | 158 | 51 | 20 |
1029 | Well, the good news is that it isn’t cancer... | 1.3973 | 0.04511 | 224 | 159 | 41 | 24 |
1030 | So the feeling just kind of crept up on you? | 1.3973 | 0.04189 | 224 | 152 | 55 | 17 |
1031 | So, my bad, I probably should have explained the side effects of the new treatment. | 1.3973 | 0.04330 | 224 | 155 | 49 | 20 |
1032 | It’s an intestinanal disorder. The good news is that it’s not yours. | 1.3973 | 0.04632 | 219 | 157 | 37 | 25 |
1033 | Any changes since your last visit? | 1.3973 | 0.04448 | 219 | 153 | 45 | 21 |
1034 | I can remove it, but I hate to tell you boa constrictors are not covered under your current COBRA insurance plan. | 1.3972 | 0.04523 | 214 | 150 | 43 | 21 |
1035 | I'm putting you on a boa blocker. | 1.3972 | 0.03884 | 282 | 196 | 60 | 26 |
1036 | No, in fact, some snake oil is exactly what you need. | 1.3968 | 0.04120 | 247 | 171 | 54 | 22 |
1037 | Yeah, this isn't covered. | 1.3968 | 0.04079 | 247 | 170 | 56 | 21 |
1038 | Well, technically, it is a pre-existing condition... | 1.3968 | 0.03998 | 247 | 168 | 60 | 19 |
1039 | Any change since the last check-up? | 1.3968 | 0.04120 | 247 | 171 | 54 | 22 |
1040 | Take two rats and a bunny and call me in the morning. | 1.3967 | 0.04262 | 242 | 170 | 48 | 24 |
1041 | Take two rats, call me in the morning. | 1.3967 | 0.04097 | 242 | 166 | 56 | 20 |
1042 | How did you get your shirt off? | 1.3967 | 0.04302 | 242 | 171 | 46 | 25 |
1043 | It seems to me that you're under a lot of pressure. | 1.3967 | 0.04180 | 242 | 168 | 52 | 22 |
1044 | Tightening of the chest, shortness of breath...I know you are being attacked by a snake, but the insurance company says you are having a heart attack so that is what I have to treat you for. | 1.3966 | 0.04395 | 232 | 164 | 44 | 24 |
1045 | I'll write you a prescription for an antiboatic. | 1.3965 | 0.04422 | 227 | 160 | 44 | 23 |
1046 | This antidepressant should help him unwind. | 1.3964 | 0.04310 | 222 | 153 | 50 | 19 |
1047 | I know our website says that we accept COBRA coverage, but this isn't what we meant. | 1.3963 | 0.04380 | 217 | 150 | 48 | 19 |
1048 | Point to where it hurts. | 1.3963 | 0.03902 | 270 | 186 | 61 | 23 |
1049 | Unfortunately veterinarians are out of network for you | 1.3962 | 0.03990 | 265 | 184 | 57 | 24 |
1050 | This time I'm writing you a prescription for a service dog. | 1.3962 | 0.04225 | 260 | 186 | 45 | 29 |
1051 | It’s a traditional Chinese folk remedy for treating constipation. | 1.3961 | 0.04140 | 255 | 179 | 51 | 25 |
1052 | Seems you tried to see a doctor outside your network. | 1.3960 | 0.04161 | 250 | 175 | 51 | 24 |
1053 | Ah, yet another case of an Amazon order gone awry. | 1.3960 | 0.04123 | 250 | 174 | 53 | 23 |
1054 | The x-ray is showing a multitude of broken bones but honestly I’d take the fact that he hasn’t eaten yet you as a win. | 1.3957 | 0.04095 | 235 | 160 | 57 | 18 |
1055 | Are you under a lot of pressure? | 1.3956 | 0.04314 | 225 | 156 | 49 | 20 |
1056 | I’m going to prescribe you some antihisstamines. | 1.3955 | 0.04478 | 220 | 155 | 43 | 22 |
1057 | There's been a lot of this going around and around. | 1.3955 | 0.04431 | 220 | 154 | 45 | 21 |
1058 | I thought when you called you said you had ebola. | 1.3954 | 0.03788 | 263 | 177 | 68 | 18 |
1059 | I'm putting you on a boa constricted diet. | 1.3954 | 0.03864 | 263 | 179 | 64 | 20 |
1060 | I'm afraid your boa is constricted. | 1.3953 | 0.04009 | 253 | 174 | 58 | 21 |
1061 | I'll prescribe a relaxant to help you unwind. | 1.3953 | 0.04087 | 253 | 176 | 54 | 23 |
1062 | This muscle relaxant prescription is for the snake not you. | 1.3951 | 0.04207 | 243 | 170 | 50 | 23 |
1063 | 110 over 70... that's really good. | 1.3951 | 0.04125 | 243 | 168 | 54 | 21 |
1064 | I am sure the nurse did mention, you can't bring your support animal to your colonoscopy | 1.3950 | 0.04473 | 238 | 172 | 38 | 28 |
1065 | In the future I suggest you avoid apples, gardens and naked women. | 1.3947 | 0.04317 | 228 | 159 | 48 | 21 |
1066 | I see you've met our colonoscopist. | 1.3947 | 0.04317 | 228 | 159 | 48 | 21 |
1067 | I’d say its a Boa but it could be an Anaconda. Would you like a second opinion? | 1.3946 | 0.04387 | 223 | 156 | 46 | 21 |
1068 | yup...typical case of Ereptile Dysfunction | 1.3946 | 0.04387 | 223 | 156 | 46 | 21 |
1069 | Let's see, crushing chest pain, Right? | 1.3946 | 0.04294 | 223 | 154 | 50 | 19 |
1070 | Sorry but i can’t find a billing code for this... | 1.3945 | 0.04089 | 256 | 179 | 53 | 24 |
1071 | Now tell me, what seems to be the problem? | 1.3945 | 0.04599 | 218 | 156 | 38 | 24 |
1072 | So your first name is Monty? | 1.3944 | 0.04186 | 251 | 177 | 49 | 25 |
1073 | Look, you keep telling me about the snake but let’s take a moment to talk about your high cholesterol. | 1.3942 | 0.04272 | 241 | 170 | 47 | 24 |
1074 | Before the procedure, which way ya leaning, purses, belts, shoes or steaks? | 1.3942 | 0.04272 | 241 | 170 | 47 | 24 |
1075 | Rex is fine physically, but he seems to have some separation issues. | 1.3939 | 0.04187 | 231 | 159 | 53 | 19 |
1076 | I think he has a crush on you. | 1.3939 | 0.04232 | 231 | 160 | 51 | 20 |
1077 | Just give this letter to the airline and you should have no problem traveling with Simon. | 1.3939 | 0.04142 | 231 | 158 | 55 | 18 |
1078 | We won’t know for sure until we run some tests. | 1.3938 | 0.04298 | 226 | 157 | 49 | 20 |
1079 | Once I uncoil it, you should find it easier to walk, sleep, shower, and definitely to make new friends. | 1.3937 | 0.04035 | 254 | 176 | 56 | 22 |
1080 | Actually, I'm a vet--so you're not the patient here." | 1.3937 | 0.04642 | 221 | 160 | 35 | 26 |
1081 | Three to five medium-sized rodents a day for Monty, Don't miss a feeding, you should be fine. | 1.3936 | 0.03931 | 249 | 169 | 62 | 18 |
1082 | Good news! It's definitely not your heart. | 1.3934 | 0.04070 | 244 | 168 | 56 | 20 |
1083 | Okay, I'll certify Chester as a comfort animal. But I still don't think they will allow a snake on a plane. | 1.3934 | 0.04312 | 244 | 174 | 44 | 26 |
1084 | Tight chest and difficulty breathing... Could be asthma... | 1.3933 | 0.04297 | 239 | 169 | 46 | 24 |
1085 | Take 2 aspirin and coil me in the morning. Just kidding! | 1.3933 | 0.04256 | 239 | 168 | 48 | 23 |
1086 | The xrays revealed that you have a snake wrapped around you. | 1.3933 | 0.04338 | 239 | 170 | 44 | 25 |
1087 | Yes...I can see that...we just want to run some tests first to rule out any other potential causes of your discomfort. | 1.3932 | 0.04192 | 234 | 162 | 52 | 20 |
1088 | Twenty minutes every day at bedtime. But don't sleep with it on. | 1.3932 | 0.04059 | 234 | 159 | 58 | 17 |
1089 | Any chest pains, difficulty breathing or shortness of breath? | 1.3931 | 0.04020 | 262 | 183 | 55 | 24 |
1090 | A constriction? Can you be more specific? | 1.3930 | 0.04346 | 229 | 161 | 46 | 22 |
1091 | Here's a prescription for four rats a day, plus two refills. | 1.3930 | 0.04113 | 257 | 181 | 51 | 25 |
1092 | You think you’re being squeezed, let me tell you about malpractice insurance. | 1.3929 | 0.03938 | 252 | 172 | 61 | 19 |
1093 | Feed it two rabbits and call me in the morning. | 1.3927 | 0.04311 | 247 | 177 | 43 | 27 |
1094 | So, shortness of breath, tightness in the chest and you're generally feeling constricted. | 1.3927 | 0.04200 | 219 | 149 | 54 | 16 |
1095 | I'll prescribe something easy to swallow. | 1.3926 | 0.03934 | 270 | 188 | 58 | 24 |
1096 | And have you been under any extra pressure lately? | 1.3926 | 0.04093 | 242 | 167 | 55 | 20 |
1097 | Go get two Mongooses and call me in the morning. | 1.3926 | 0.04176 | 242 | 169 | 51 | 22 |
1098 | Two more weeks of this and we’ll hit your goal weight. | 1.3924 | 0.04023 | 237 | 161 | 59 | 17 |
1099 | Before I jump to conclusions, let's run a few expensive diagnostics. | 1.3924 | 0.04485 | 237 | 172 | 37 | 28 |
1100 | So...I don't think it's anything internal. | 1.3924 | 0.04154 | 237 | 164 | 53 | 20 |
1101 | I suggest you unwind a bit, Mr. Smithers. | 1.3924 | 0.04111 | 237 | 163 | 55 | 19 |
1102 | You should've come in at "Oh, Gee! It's up to my knee." "Oh, fiddle! It's up to my middle" is much harder to treat. | 1.3921 | 0.04237 | 227 | 157 | 51 | 19 |
1103 | Okay, Adam, one more time. So you ate an apple and what happened? | 1.3921 | 0.04417 | 227 | 161 | 43 | 23 |
1104 | Take off the snake and the doctor will be right in. | 1.3921 | 0.04237 | 227 | 157 | 51 | 19 |
1105 | If it's an adult anaconda it may be considered a pre-existing condition. | 1.3920 | 0.04040 | 250 | 173 | 56 | 21 |
1106 | So, tell me what's eating you today. | 1.3920 | 0.04079 | 250 | 174 | 54 | 22 |
1107 | I wouldn't worry about it, it seems to be going around. | 1.3920 | 0.04157 | 250 | 176 | 50 | 24 |
1108 | Nice boa! Now what brings you in? | 1.3919 | 0.04304 | 222 | 154 | 49 | 19 |
1109 | ...And last week it was from the jaws of a lion. Tell me, has the Great Zordini ever considered a change of career? | 1.3918 | 0.04219 | 245 | 173 | 48 | 24 |
1110 | The good news is, your prostate is fine. | 1.3917 | 0.03987 | 240 | 163 | 60 | 17 |
1111 | Separate bills? | 1.3917 | 0.04074 | 240 | 165 | 56 | 19 |
1112 | This is completely normal. My last patient's emotional support alligator was clingy too. | 1.3917 | 0.04241 | 240 | 169 | 48 | 23 |
1113 | Looks like you picked something up. | 1.3915 | 0.04090 | 235 | 161 | 56 | 18 |
1114 | There was really no need to take off your pants. | 1.3915 | 0.04472 | 235 | 170 | 38 | 27 |
1115 | He needs to cut down on mice, but otherwise he's fine. | 1.3915 | 0.04306 | 235 | 166 | 46 | 23 |
1116 | And where was Eve when this happened? | 1.3913 | 0.04331 | 230 | 162 | 46 | 22 |
1117 | Look, I know it gets a bad rap but snake oil really is the best option here. | 1.3911 | 0.04102 | 248 | 173 | 53 | 22 |
1118 | So, this is Eve's fault? | 1.3911 | 0.04141 | 248 | 174 | 51 | 23 |
1119 | Let me know if that gets too tight. | 1.3909 | 0.03995 | 243 | 166 | 59 | 18 |
1120 | I'm recommending a less needy emotional support reptile. | 1.3909 | 0.04162 | 243 | 170 | 51 | 22 |
1121 | On the other hand, this might help your constipation issues. | 1.3909 | 0.03995 | 243 | 166 | 59 | 18 |
1122 | As a veterinarian, my first concern is for the snake. | 1.3909 | 0.04283 | 220 | 152 | 50 | 18 |
1123 | Sorry,I can’t help you, it’s an endangered species. | 1.3908 | 0.04029 | 261 | 183 | 54 | 24 |
1124 | Because antibiotics are what your insurance will cover. | 1.3908 | 0.04308 | 238 | 169 | 45 | 24 |
1125 | Have you been out of the country in the last month? | 1.3906 | 0.03932 | 256 | 176 | 60 | 20 |
1126 | So Mr. Peterson what seems to be the problem? | 1.3906 | 0.04047 | 256 | 179 | 54 | 23 |
1127 | Yes, they are 'Dad sneakers' but I don't think you're in the position to be passing judgements. | 1.3906 | 0.04047 | 256 | 179 | 54 | 23 |
1128 | But could you play the violin before? | 1.3906 | 0.04202 | 233 | 162 | 51 | 20 |
1129 | So you refused to eat the apple. | 1.3904 | 0.04257 | 251 | 180 | 44 | 27 |
1130 | You’ve got to unwind | 1.3904 | 0.04445 | 228 | 163 | 41 | 24 |
1131 | Next I'd like to examine you without your comfort animal. | 1.3904 | 0.04401 | 228 | 162 | 43 | 23 |
1132 | Unfortunately, that one's not on my list of emotional support animals. | 1.3903 | 0.03942 | 269 | 188 | 57 | 24 |
1133 | You can put your pants back on now. | 1.3902 | 0.04084 | 246 | 171 | 54 | 21 |
1134 | Wait a minute; how did you get your shirt off? | 1.3902 | 0.04125 | 246 | 172 | 52 | 22 |
1135 | The bad news is, your snake has a cold. | 1.3900 | 0.04060 | 241 | 166 | 56 | 19 |
1136 | ...and when did you notice the tightness in your chest? | 1.3900 | 0.03976 | 259 | 180 | 57 | 22 |
1137 | Let's see if an MRI shows us anything. | 1.3900 | 0.03900 | 259 | 178 | 61 | 20 |
1138 | My assistant there is just taking your blood pressure. | 1.3898 | 0.04220 | 254 | 182 | 45 | 27 |
1139 | The X-rays are showing it's a very large snake... | 1.3896 | 0.04048 | 249 | 173 | 55 | 21 |
1140 | That human will have to be removed Mr. Snake. | 1.3894 | 0.04247 | 226 | 157 | 50 | 19 |
1141 | I remember when The New Yorker cartoons were funny. | 1.3893 | 0.04307 | 244 | 175 | 43 | 26 |
1142 | So, which of you has the gerbil? | 1.3893 | 0.04307 | 244 | 175 | 43 | 26 |
1143 | Next I am prescribing compression leggings. | 1.3893 | 0.04423 | 244 | 178 | 37 | 29 |
1144 | Now, what seems to be the problem here? | 1.3893 | 0.04307 | 244 | 175 | 43 | 26 |
1145 | Glad I could squeeze you in today. | 1.3893 | 0.03943 | 262 | 182 | 58 | 22 |
1146 | Nothing too alarming here. You just caught what is going around. | 1.3893 | 0.03905 | 262 | 181 | 60 | 21 |
1147 | Good news,its not your heart. | 1.3891 | 0.04409 | 221 | 156 | 44 | 21 |
1148 | This should keep the swelling down. | 1.3891 | 0.04251 | 239 | 169 | 47 | 23 |
1149 | Have you been out of the country recently? | 1.3891 | 0.03881 | 257 | 176 | 62 | 19 |
1150 | Take the decongestant pills for 2 weeks. If your breathing doesn't improve, I'd get rid of the snake. | 1.3891 | 0.03920 | 257 | 177 | 60 | 20 |
1151 | Everything looks good. I'll see you in a year. | 1.3891 | 0.03997 | 257 | 179 | 56 | 22 |
1152 | It appears that your pet is suffering from separation anxiety. | 1.3891 | 0.03947 | 275 | 194 | 55 | 26 |
1153 | You are suffering from Bronchial Obstructive Asthma, but we doctors call it BOA | 1.3889 | 0.04231 | 234 | 164 | 49 | 21 |
1154 | I'll just write 'got himself in a bind' and leave it at that. | 1.3889 | 0.04274 | 234 | 165 | 47 | 22 |
1155 | Shortness of breath. Anything else bothering you? | 1.3887 | 0.03865 | 283 | 199 | 58 | 26 |
1156 | You seem fine but your snake seems wound pretty tight. | 1.3887 | 0.03947 | 265 | 185 | 57 | 23 |
1157 | I'm going to go ahead and schedule you for a hiss-terectomy. | 1.3887 | 0.04111 | 247 | 173 | 52 | 22 |
1158 | Scales don't lie... | 1.3887 | 0.04151 | 247 | 174 | 50 | 23 |
1159 | In cases like this I often recommend snake oil. | 1.3885 | 0.03925 | 260 | 180 | 59 | 21 |
1160 | You have to find a different emotional support animal. | 1.3884 | 0.04372 | 242 | 175 | 40 | 27 |
1161 | Coiliosis. | 1.3884 | 0.04171 | 242 | 170 | 50 | 22 |
1162 | I'm not judging you but if you're naked under there tell me now. | 1.3882 | 0.04242 | 255 | 184 | 43 | 28 |
1163 | i’m writing a prescription that should help you unwind | 1.3882 | 0.03861 | 255 | 174 | 63 | 18 |
1164 | Not the best choice of therapy pet. | 1.3881 | 0.03914 | 268 | 187 | 58 | 23 |
1165 | Have you traveled outside of the country in the last 30 days? | 1.3880 | 0.03955 | 250 | 172 | 59 | 19 |
1166 | You need to unwind a bit. | 1.3879 | 0.03985 | 232 | 157 | 60 | 15 |
1167 | Studies show that it is an extremely effective treatment for constipation | 1.3879 | 0.04428 | 232 | 167 | 40 | 25 |
1168 | In the plus column, you’ve quit smoking. | 1.3878 | 0.03893 | 263 | 182 | 60 | 21 |
1169 | It says here you're been feeling a bit constricted. I'm thinking it's probably the snake, but going to have to run some more tests just to be sure. | 1.3878 | 0.04052 | 245 | 170 | 55 | 20 |
1170 | Well, it's not worms. | 1.3878 | 0.04052 | 245 | 170 | 55 | 20 |
1171 | Just when did you begin to feel this tightness in your chest? | 1.3877 | 0.03867 | 276 | 193 | 59 | 24 |
1172 | Have you been out of the country during the last two weeks?" | 1.3877 | 0.03867 | 276 | 193 | 59 | 24 |
1173 | Well, I have some good news. It’s not cancer... | 1.3877 | 0.04092 | 227 | 155 | 56 | 16 |
1174 | He seems a bit lonely and depressed. Give him 2 of these a day to unwind. | 1.3877 | 0.04368 | 227 | 161 | 44 | 22 |
1175 | I misunderstood when you told me you liked to wear your wife's boa. | 1.3876 | 0.04059 | 258 | 182 | 52 | 24 |
1176 | We don't accept Cobra. | 1.3876 | 0.04738 | 209 | 152 | 33 | 24 |
1177 | Any concerns today other than feeling constricted? | 1.3875 | 0.04154 | 240 | 168 | 51 | 21 |
1178 | It's probably benign, but there's a small chance it could lead to the Fall of Man. | 1.3875 | 0.03982 | 240 | 164 | 59 | 17 |
1179 | You may experience some side effects such dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, or in rare cases, asphyxiation. | 1.3874 | 0.04299 | 222 | 155 | 48 | 19 |
1180 | Well, the good news is you're not having a heart attack.... | 1.3874 | 0.04203 | 222 | 153 | 52 | 17 |
1181 | I think you need a chance to unwind. | 1.3874 | 0.03921 | 253 | 174 | 60 | 19 |
1182 | It won't relieve your back pain, but it will take your mind off of it. | 1.3872 | 0.04085 | 235 | 162 | 55 | 18 |
1183 | Can you let go of your human now,so I can examine you? | 1.3872 | 0.04216 | 235 | 165 | 49 | 21 |
1184 | First the good news, you don't have a tape worm. | 1.3872 | 0.04427 | 235 | 170 | 39 | 26 |
1185 | I'll write him a little something for separation anxiety. | 1.3870 | 0.03875 | 261 | 180 | 61 | 20 |
1186 | Your's is the first case this season." | 1.3868 | 0.03860 | 243 | 164 | 64 | 15 |
1187 | Any chest pain or shortness of breath? | 1.3868 | 0.04075 | 243 | 169 | 54 | 20 |
1188 | HOW DID YOU GET YOUR JACKET OFF? | 1.3868 | 0.04238 | 243 | 173 | 46 | 24 |
1189 | It’s nothing serious. Just try to unwind a bit. | 1.3867 | 0.03928 | 256 | 177 | 59 | 20 |
1190 | The good news is it's not ringworm. | 1.3867 | 0.03928 | 256 | 177 | 59 | 20 |
1191 | I'm going to recommend Boa-tox. | 1.3867 | 0.04529 | 225 | 163 | 37 | 25 |
1192 | I presume you want a note for your emotional support snake. | 1.3866 | 0.04303 | 238 | 170 | 44 | 24 |
1193 | The good news is that it’s not a tapeworm. The bad news... | 1.3865 | 0.04622 | 207 | 148 | 38 | 21 |
1194 | It's been going around. | 1.3865 | 0.03860 | 251 | 171 | 63 | 17 |
1195 | As herpetologists go, you're too wrapped up in your work. | 1.3865 | 0.04364 | 251 | 184 | 37 | 30 |
1196 | Cough. | 1.3863 | 0.04054 | 277 | 200 | 47 | 30 |
1197 | HE SEEMS TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. | 1.3863 | 0.04370 | 233 | 167 | 42 | 24 |
1198 | What’s eating you? | 1.3862 | 0.04039 | 246 | 171 | 55 | 20 |
1199 | We'll have to run more tests to be sure. | 1.3862 | 0.04278 | 246 | 177 | 43 | 26 |
1200 | So, how was Florida this year? | 1.3862 | 0.03914 | 246 | 168 | 61 | 17 |
1201 | So, besides a little tightness in your chest, any other symptoms? | 1.3860 | 0.04195 | 215 | 147 | 53 | 15 |
1202 | Is anything else bothering you today? | 1.3860 | 0.04495 | 215 | 153 | 41 | 21 |
1203 | That tight feeling around your chest... I think I know what it is. | 1.3860 | 0.04396 | 228 | 163 | 42 | 23 |
1204 | This is exactly why we recommend vaccinations. | 1.3859 | 0.04055 | 241 | 167 | 55 | 19 |
1205 | I have some snake oil that may actually work in this case. | 1.3859 | 0.04140 | 241 | 169 | 51 | 21 |
1206 | By any chance, were you recently on a plane? | 1.3859 | 0.04263 | 241 | 172 | 45 | 24 |
1207 | She handed me an apple and said she’d be right back. | 1.3858 | 0.04289 | 254 | 185 | 40 | 29 |
1208 | Basically you’re fine, except that your blood pressure is a tad high and there’s a slight rattle in your chest. | 1.3857 | 0.04472 | 210 | 148 | 43 | 19 |
1209 | The best I can do is prescribe you an emotional support mongoose. | 1.3856 | 0.04329 | 236 | 169 | 43 | 24 |
1210 | An aspirins for you. A muscle relaxer for her. | 1.3856 | 0.03936 | 236 | 160 | 61 | 15 |
1211 | You need to learn to unwind. | 1.3856 | 0.03843 | 236 | 158 | 65 | 13 |
1212 | This new organic body cast will help realign your spine and it is environmentally friendly. | 1.3856 | 0.04159 | 236 | 165 | 51 | 20 |
1213 | Slightly constricted or very constricted? | 1.3856 | 0.04115 | 236 | 164 | 53 | 19 |
1214 | Well, I think I've determined the cause of your high blood pressure. | 1.3855 | 0.04044 | 249 | 174 | 54 | 21 |
1215 | Can you describe the tightness in your chest? | 1.3855 | 0.04278 | 249 | 180 | 42 | 27 |
1216 | If you relax, he’ll relax. Have you tried meditation? | 1.3855 | 0.03787 | 262 | 179 | 65 | 18 |
1217 | What seems to be the problem here? | 1.3855 | 0.04010 | 275 | 197 | 50 | 28 |
1218 | Have you traveled outside the country recently? | 1.3853 | 0.04222 | 231 | 162 | 49 | 20 |
1219 | So, how was the Amazon? | 1.3852 | 0.04061 | 244 | 170 | 54 | 20 |
1220 | You need to give up wearing boas, they're too constricting. | 1.3852 | 0.04224 | 244 | 174 | 46 | 24 |
1221 | The good news is your blood work came back & looks great. | 1.3852 | 0.03837 | 257 | 176 | 63 | 18 |
1222 | So you're feeling constricted? | 1.3852 | 0.03891 | 270 | 189 | 58 | 23 |
1223 | Do you want me to write you a note for work? | 1.3850 | 0.04379 | 226 | 161 | 43 | 22 |
1224 | The good news is your cholesterol looks great. | 1.3850 | 0.03904 | 226 | 151 | 63 | 12 |
1225 | A tightness in your chest... any other symptoms?" | 1.3850 | 0.04242 | 226 | 158 | 49 | 19 |
1226 | Sir, we cannot perform the operation until you sign the documents. | 1.3850 | 0.04148 | 226 | 156 | 53 | 17 |
1227 | The python comes off when you start paying your deductible. | 1.3849 | 0.04205 | 239 | 169 | 48 | 22 |
1228 | Blood pressure is a little high, otherwise I’d say you’re good to go | 1.3849 | 0.03889 | 252 | 173 | 61 | 18 |
1229 | That frog in your throat has led to other complications. | 1.3849 | 0.04009 | 252 | 176 | 55 | 21 |
1230 | I thought you selected the COBRA plan with full coverage. | 1.3849 | 0.04239 | 252 | 182 | 43 | 27 |
1231 | Have you been under any pressure lately? | 1.3846 | 0.04146 | 247 | 175 | 49 | 23 |
1232 | Are you her main squeeze? | 1.3846 | 0.04269 | 234 | 166 | 46 | 22 |
1233 | Before I examine your throat, Mr. Jones, I'm gonna have to ask you to remove your boa. | 1.3846 | 0.04094 | 234 | 162 | 54 | 18 |
1234 | Now Cough | 1.3846 | 0.04066 | 247 | 173 | 53 | 21 |
1235 | Shortness of breath? You smoke? | 1.3843 | 0.04165 | 255 | 183 | 46 | 26 |
1236 | I don't know what to tell you doc, it just started with a frog in my throat. | 1.3843 | 0.04167 | 242 | 171 | 49 | 22 |
1237 | You can remove the boa also. You haven't got anything that I haven't seen before. | 1.3843 | 0.04247 | 229 | 161 | 48 | 20 |
1238 | Didn't the nurse ask you to take EVERYTHING off? | 1.3843 | 0.04424 | 229 | 165 | 40 | 24 |
1239 | Now which toe did you say is bothering you? | 1.3840 | 0.04272 | 237 | 169 | 45 | 23 |
1240 | So, Mr. Schmidt, what seems to be the problem? | 1.3840 | 0.04436 | 237 | 173 | 37 | 27 |
1241 | The good news is we’ve resolved your low blood pressure issue. | 1.3840 | 0.04057 | 237 | 164 | 55 | 18 |
1242 | Here’s a prescription for snake oil, but you may not need it. | 1.3839 | 0.04268 | 224 | 157 | 48 | 19 |
1243 | Dr. Scott is the best herpetologist I know, and he's a real charmer, too. | 1.3836 | 0.04423 | 232 | 168 | 39 | 25 |
1244 | The good news is that the tightness you feel is not because of a heart attack. | 1.3836 | 0.04251 | 232 | 164 | 47 | 21 |
1245 | Please slip out of your boa and put on the robe. Then we can begin your exam. | 1.3834 | 0.03917 | 253 | 175 | 59 | 19 |
1246 | This wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned when I said “emotional support animal.” | 1.3834 | 0.04035 | 253 | 178 | 53 | 22 |
1247 | We'll run some tests, but I've got a hunch you picked something up when you were on safari. | 1.3834 | 0.03626 | 253 | 168 | 73 | 12 |
1248 | I'd like to run a few more tests before making a diagnosis. | 1.3834 | 0.03917 | 253 | 175 | 59 | 19 |
1249 | Take two mongooses and see me in the morning. | 1.3834 | 0.03957 | 253 | 176 | 57 | 20 |
1250 | I'm prescribing a fairly aggressive muscle relaxant first. And then, charm school. | 1.3833 | 0.04232 | 240 | 171 | 46 | 23 |
1251 | I suggest you find a new way to unwind. | 1.3833 | 0.03977 | 240 | 165 | 58 | 17 |
1252 | Have you offered it a cow? | 1.3833 | 0.04232 | 240 | 171 | 46 | 23 |
1253 | Okay you can put your clothes back on | 1.3833 | 0.04232 | 240 | 171 | 46 | 23 |
1254 | We don't have a code for boa constrictor--let's just call it chest pain | 1.3833 | 0.04180 | 227 | 158 | 51 | 18 |
1255 | We need to remove that mole on your face immediately. | 1.3831 | 0.04093 | 261 | 187 | 48 | 26 |
1256 | Well, next time, accept the apple... | 1.3831 | 0.04200 | 261 | 190 | 42 | 29 |
1257 | Not so charming, is it. | 1.3831 | 0.04053 | 248 | 174 | 53 | 21 |
1258 | Well, your snake is in perfect health. | 1.3831 | 0.03846 | 248 | 169 | 63 | 16 |
1259 | The bad news is that your support animal has not been approved for air travel. | 1.3831 | 0.04211 | 248 | 178 | 45 | 25 |
1260 | WebMD says it’s asthma. | 1.3830 | 0.04035 | 235 | 162 | 56 | 17 |
1261 | Does it hurt when you laugh? | 1.3828 | 0.04001 | 256 | 180 | 54 | 22 |
1262 | You're not covered, but the snake is - Trump Care. | 1.3826 | 0.04321 | 230 | 164 | 44 | 22 |
1263 | When they told you to wear a boa for drag night, I think they meant a scarf. | 1.3826 | 0.04365 | 230 | 165 | 42 | 23 |
1264 | You might have to go out of network. | 1.3826 | 0.04094 | 264 | 190 | 47 | 27 |
1265 | So besides the tightness in the chest...? | 1.3825 | 0.04214 | 217 | 150 | 51 | 16 |
1266 | I'm referring you to a herpetologist, but she's out of network." | 1.3825 | 0.04057 | 251 | 177 | 52 | 22 |
1267 | Any tightness, heavy pressure, or squeezing around chest area? | 1.3824 | 0.04130 | 238 | 167 | 51 | 20 |
1268 | Actually, I WOULD recommend snake oil. | 1.3824 | 0.03999 | 238 | 164 | 57 | 17 |
1269 | So, a little tightness. Where? | 1.3824 | 0.04173 | 238 | 168 | 49 | 21 |
1270 | So what seems to be bothering you today? | 1.3822 | 0.04151 | 259 | 187 | 45 | 27 |
1271 | I think we've found the reason for your shortness of breath. | 1.3822 | 0.04252 | 225 | 158 | 48 | 19 |
1272 | Chest pressure? Okay. Can you be a bit more specific? | 1.3821 | 0.04034 | 246 | 172 | 54 | 20 |
1273 | Sir, I know you're scared, but you're going to have to remove the therapy snake. | 1.3821 | 0.04235 | 246 | 177 | 44 | 25 |
1274 | Your insurance company claims it was a pre-existing condition. | 1.3821 | 0.03909 | 246 | 169 | 60 | 17 |
1275 | And this is why you don't trust ads from the internet. | 1.3821 | 0.04156 | 246 | 175 | 48 | 23 |
1276 | Well, the contractions are three minutes apart and dilation has begun, but unfortunately you’re in breech position, Mr. Coyle. | 1.3821 | 0.04386 | 212 | 149 | 45 | 18 |
1277 | It's probably nothing, but we can run some tests. | 1.3819 | 0.04061 | 254 | 180 | 51 | 23 |
1278 | I said "restrictive diet" not "constrictive diet" | 1.3818 | 0.03939 | 275 | 196 | 53 | 26 |
1279 | It seems you picked up an exotic organism on your trip abroad." | 1.3818 | 0.03696 | 275 | 189 | 67 | 19 |
1280 | Tightness in the chest could result from a number of causes. | 1.3817 | 0.04050 | 241 | 168 | 54 | 19 |
1281 | Does he usually frighten this easily when he goes to the vet ? | 1.3815 | 0.03957 | 270 | 192 | 53 | 25 |
1282 | We find it more cost effective than collection agencies. | 1.3814 | 0.04021 | 236 | 163 | 56 | 17 |
1283 | Before I examine you, Mr. Boa, I must ask that you please put down your emotional-support human. | 1.3814 | 0.04324 | 236 | 170 | 42 | 24 |
1284 | Well, Sir, it seems you have your head up your asp. | 1.3812 | 0.04417 | 223 | 160 | 41 | 22 |
1285 | Finally, a contraceptive coil that's fool proof. | 1.3811 | 0.04298 | 244 | 177 | 41 | 26 |
1286 | And just when did these contractions begin? | 1.3811 | 0.04259 | 244 | 176 | 43 | 25 |
1287 | So, I understand that you are her therapy human. | 1.3810 | 0.04159 | 252 | 181 | 46 | 25 |
1288 | We're probably going to go back to the old style blood pressure monitors. There's some problems with these. | 1.3810 | 0.04004 | 252 | 177 | 54 | 21 |
1289 | Routine question,we ask everybody ... do you feel safe at home? | 1.3810 | 0.04197 | 252 | 182 | 44 | 26 |
1290 | The good news is we've fixed the hissing in your ear. | 1.3810 | 0.03925 | 252 | 175 | 58 | 19 |
1291 | Any peanut allergy? | 1.3810 | 0.04159 | 252 | 181 | 46 | 25 |
1292 | I'm recommending boatox." | 1.3808 | 0.04029 | 260 | 185 | 51 | 24 |
1293 | OK, let's skip the "breathe deeply" for now. | 1.3808 | 0.04116 | 239 | 168 | 51 | 20 |
1294 | I have your "emotional support animal" papers here, but sir, I still don't think you will be able to fly without clothing" | 1.3808 | 0.04029 | 239 | 166 | 55 | 18 |
1295 | It's our new way to collect co-pays. | 1.3808 | 0.04200 | 239 | 170 | 47 | 22 |
1296 | I stand corrected. You should feed Larry more than once a year. | 1.3808 | 0.04283 | 239 | 172 | 43 | 24 |
1297 | Which garden were you in? | 1.3807 | 0.04097 | 218 | 149 | 55 | 14 |
1298 | I'm going to prescribe him some oxycodone and he should loosen right up. | 1.3806 | 0.04061 | 247 | 174 | 52 | 21 |
1299 | It's surprisingly good at detecting high blood pressure, and no one can pronounce sphygmomanometer anyway. | 1.3806 | 0.03853 | 247 | 169 | 62 | 16 |
1300 | Ironic that using a Python for constipation is covered by your COBRA plan. | 1.3806 | 0.04298 | 247 | 180 | 40 | 27 |
1301 | Sir, we do accept Cobra insurance. However, we do not accept insurance for cobras. You may want to contact your provider for clarification. | 1.3806 | 0.04102 | 247 | 175 | 50 | 22 |
1302 | You're lucky that we were able to squeeze you in. | 1.3803 | 0.04178 | 234 | 165 | 49 | 20 |
1303 | If I can just get you to sign this insurance form, we’ll have a look at you. | 1.3803 | 0.03814 | 284 | 201 | 58 | 25 |
1304 | Not to worry. This happens occasionally with people who opt for COBRA medical coverage. | 1.3802 | 0.04138 | 263 | 191 | 44 | 28 |
1305 | I'm not liking that blood pressure. | 1.3802 | 0.03922 | 263 | 185 | 56 | 22 |
1306 | Next time, just remember, what goes around comes around. | 1.3802 | 0.04121 | 242 | 171 | 50 | 21 |
1307 | Two rats a day, given orally, should gradually relieve that constricting sensation | 1.3802 | 0.03863 | 242 | 165 | 62 | 15 |
1308 | Your insurance won't cover you until there's a fifth coil. | 1.3802 | 0.04121 | 242 | 171 | 50 | 21 |
1309 | Not all of these “Natural Slimming Aids “ work. | 1.3802 | 0.04162 | 242 | 172 | 48 | 22 |
1310 | Okay sir, the chart says you are 46 years old, currently employed as a civil serpent..sorry, servant. | 1.3802 | 0.04162 | 242 | 172 | 48 | 22 |
1311 | Any trouble breathing prior to getting the snake? | 1.3802 | 0.03951 | 242 | 167 | 58 | 17 |
1312 | … good length for his age, healthy skin color--- oh, you mean you-- two broken ribs and a crushed sternum. | 1.3800 | 0.04183 | 250 | 180 | 45 | 25 |
1313 | So, what exactly has brought you into the clinic today? | 1.3799 | 0.04287 | 229 | 163 | 45 | 21 |
1314 | Everything looks good..Though I am a bit concerned about your blood pressure. | 1.3799 | 0.04196 | 229 | 161 | 49 | 19 |
1315 | The test results suggest you may be a carrier of some kind of tropical pest. | 1.3798 | 0.04013 | 258 | 183 | 52 | 23 |
1316 | ""On a positive note, you'll get a very nice set of luggage out of this." | 1.3798 | 0.03741 | 258 | 176 | 66 | 16 |
1317 | So, looks like you’re no longer on cobra. | 1.3798 | 0.04232 | 258 | 189 | 40 | 29 |
1318 | Unfortunately, the nearest zoo is out-of-network. | 1.3798 | 0.03975 | 258 | 182 | 54 | 22 |
1319 | I'd like to run some tests to see what the problem is | 1.3797 | 0.04471 | 237 | 175 | 34 | 28 |
1320 | Stripping to your skivvies includes removing your boa. | 1.3796 | 0.04275 | 216 | 151 | 48 | 17 |
1321 | So at first she was just wrapped around your little finger? | 1.3796 | 0.04205 | 245 | 176 | 45 | 24 |
1322 | Shortness of breath can mean any number of things. | 1.3796 | 0.04205 | 245 | 176 | 45 | 24 |
1323 | When I said, "Get it on Amazon" I meant the website | 1.3796 | 0.04284 | 245 | 178 | 41 | 26 |
1324 | Clarence, we've discussed this before, humans are bad for your cholesterol | 1.3795 | 0.04401 | 224 | 161 | 41 | 22 |
1325 | Any symptoms other than chest pains? | 1.3795 | 0.03920 | 224 | 151 | 61 | 12 |
1326 | I'm going give you something that will help you unwind. | 1.3795 | 0.04119 | 224 | 155 | 53 | 16 |
1327 | So, tell me what brings you in today. | 1.3794 | 0.03952 | 253 | 177 | 56 | 20 |
1328 | Look at it this way, most people are up to their neck in debt. | 1.3793 | 0.04157 | 232 | 163 | 50 | 19 |
1329 | No, that's a different kind cobra insurance. | 1.3793 | 0.04202 | 232 | 164 | 48 | 20 |
1330 | So when you got laid off you got on COBRA, and this happened? | 1.3793 | 0.04125 | 261 | 189 | 45 | 27 |
1331 | One Mongoose, at breakfast, as needed. | 1.3793 | 0.04157 | 232 | 163 | 50 | 19 |
1332 | Dr. Oz is wrong about this, too. | 1.3793 | 0.04112 | 232 | 162 | 52 | 18 |
1333 | I’m going need you to cough. | 1.3792 | 0.04016 | 240 | 167 | 55 | 18 |
1334 | So,I see that you're here for a second opinion. | 1.3792 | 0.03838 | 240 | 163 | 63 | 14 |
1335 | Now I understand the need to squeeze you in. | 1.3790 | 0.04128 | 248 | 177 | 48 | 23 |
1336 | Why are you here ? | 1.3790 | 0.04474 | 219 | 158 | 39 | 22 |
1337 | I could prescribe a muscle relaxant, for the snake of course. | 1.3789 | 0.04034 | 256 | 182 | 51 | 23 |
1338 | We'll give you some Advil for the chest pain, and some mice for the snake" | 1.3789 | 0.04358 | 227 | 163 | 42 | 22 |
1339 | Well...we can still check your prostate. | 1.3788 | 0.03835 | 264 | 184 | 60 | 20 |
1340 | Well, that about wraps it up | 1.3787 | 0.04075 | 235 | 164 | 53 | 18 |
1341 | You may feel a little tightness in your chest for a few days. | 1.3787 | 0.04249 | 235 | 168 | 45 | 22 |
1342 | The good news is the snake is doing very well | 1.3786 | 0.03681 | 280 | 194 | 66 | 20 |
1343 | Well, you must understand sir, that this is a veterinarian's office, so of course our first concern is, 'What can we do to save this snake?' | 1.3785 | 0.04352 | 214 | 151 | 45 | 18 |
1344 | It says here there's a tightness in your chest? | 1.3785 | 0.04352 | 214 | 151 | 45 | 18 |
1345 | So, what brings you to my office? | 1.3785 | 0.04501 | 214 | 154 | 39 | 21 |
1346 | You seem rattled, Fred. | 1.3783 | 0.04403 | 230 | 167 | 39 | 24 |
1347 | The tests confirm it. It's a human stuck in your coils. That'll have to be removed. | 1.3782 | 0.03798 | 275 | 193 | 60 | 22 |
1348 | ...on the other hand Brad, it looks like your constipation is no longer a problem. | 1.3782 | 0.04210 | 238 | 170 | 46 | 22 |
1349 | Our blood pressure machine is out of order, so we are using him. | 1.3782 | 0.04252 | 238 | 171 | 44 | 23 |
1350 | Well, a tightness around the chest doesn't always mean that you will die from a heart attack. | 1.3780 | 0.03946 | 246 | 171 | 57 | 18 |
1351 | Any wheezing or shortness of breath? | 1.3780 | 0.03819 | 254 | 175 | 62 | 17 |
1352 | This is what happens when you deny cobra coverage. | 1.3780 | 0.04169 | 254 | 184 | 44 | 26 |
1353 | Well, going out on a limb here, that tightness in your chest might not be bronchitis | 1.3779 | 0.04455 | 217 | 156 | 40 | 21 |
1354 | No, it's not a tapeworm... | 1.3779 | 0.03967 | 262 | 186 | 53 | 23 |
1355 | I had prescribed compression socks but never mind. | 1.3778 | 0.04006 | 225 | 154 | 57 | 14 |
1356 | So Eve told you that an apple a day keeps the doctor away? | 1.3778 | 0.04247 | 225 | 159 | 47 | 19 |
1357 | Coils! My nurse thought you said boils | 1.3777 | 0.03734 | 278 | 194 | 63 | 21 |
1358 | "GIVE HIM 2 RATS, 1 LIZARD AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING. | 1.3777 | 0.04052 | 233 | 162 | 54 | 17 |
1359 | He needs to cut down on mice, but otherwise he's in good health. | 1.3777 | 0.04231 | 233 | 166 | 46 | 21 |
1360 | At this point, it's not the cancer I would worry about. | 1.3776 | 0.04045 | 241 | 169 | 53 | 19 |
1361 | On the plus side, your foot fungus has completely cleared up. | 1.3776 | 0.03959 | 241 | 167 | 57 | 17 |
1362 | What do you suppose is triggering your anxiety this time? | 1.3776 | 0.04045 | 241 | 169 | 53 | 19 |
1363 | Let’s try two dead rats and call me in the morning. | 1.3776 | 0.03915 | 241 | 166 | 59 | 16 |
1364 | Unfortunately, your insurance only covers bites. | 1.3776 | 0.03915 | 241 | 166 | 59 | 16 |
1365 | I'm going to prescribe an antidepressant to help you unwind. | 1.3776 | 0.03959 | 241 | 167 | 57 | 17 |
1366 | So this is your comfort animal? | 1.3775 | 0.03871 | 249 | 172 | 60 | 17 |
1367 | I'm going to recommend not poking it. | 1.3775 | 0.03994 | 249 | 175 | 54 | 20 |
1368 | I think I know what's causing the tightness in your chest, but just to be sure, let's do lots of tests. | 1.3775 | 0.04114 | 249 | 178 | 48 | 23 |
1369 | I'm sorry Sir, but it looks like this is a pre-existing constrictor. | 1.3775 | 0.04034 | 249 | 176 | 52 | 21 |
1370 | Well, it could explain that feeling of tightness in your chest. | 1.3774 | 0.03828 | 257 | 178 | 61 | 18 |
1371 | I highly doubt it's contagious. | 1.3774 | 0.03828 | 257 | 178 | 61 | 18 |
1372 | Please tell me the reason for your visit to the clinic today. | 1.3774 | 0.03983 | 257 | 182 | 53 | 22 |
1373 | Your high blood pressure appears to be stress related. I suggest you try to unwind. | 1.3774 | 0.03786 | 265 | 184 | 62 | 19 |
1374 | ...and one of you call me in the morning. | 1.3774 | 0.03934 | 265 | 188 | 54 | 23 |
1375 | So, you’re experiencing some tightness in your chest? Let me run a few tests and see if I can figure out what’s going on. | 1.3774 | 0.03671 | 265 | 181 | 68 | 16 |
1376 | I'm afraid the emotional support snake will have to come off as well. | 1.3772 | 0.03840 | 281 | 200 | 56 | 25 |
1377 | The good news is that I figured out why you have shortness of breath. | 1.3772 | 0.04160 | 228 | 160 | 50 | 18 |
1378 | When did you last feed him? | 1.3772 | 0.04066 | 228 | 158 | 54 | 16 |
1379 | It's not as rare as people think. | 1.3771 | 0.04105 | 236 | 166 | 51 | 19 |
1380 | Don't shoot the messenger, you won't believe the things your HMO excludes. | 1.3771 | 0.04192 | 236 | 168 | 47 | 21 |
1381 | Your vitals are fine, but I suggest you take a few days off and unwind. | 1.3771 | 0.04060 | 236 | 165 | 53 | 18 |
1382 | ‘So a little tightness in your chest?’ | 1.3770 | 0.03837 | 244 | 167 | 62 | 15 |
1383 | Well, the good news is it isn’t venomous. | 1.3770 | 0.03924 | 244 | 169 | 58 | 17 |
1384 | Yeah, this has been going around. | 1.3770 | 0.04093 | 244 | 173 | 50 | 21 |
1385 | I am prescribing a muscle relaxer for you and a small gazelle for the snake. | 1.3770 | 0.04009 | 244 | 171 | 54 | 19 |
1386 | Okay, and what seems to be the problem today? | 1.3770 | 0.04078 | 252 | 180 | 49 | 23 |
1387 | Any coughing, wheezing or tightening of the chest? | 1.3770 | 0.03960 | 252 | 177 | 55 | 20 |
1388 | I’m prescribing something to unwind you. | 1.3770 | 0.03838 | 252 | 174 | 61 | 17 |
1389 | First the good news - that tightness in your chest is not a heart attack. | 1.3769 | 0.03793 | 268 | 187 | 61 | 20 |
1390 | So far, nothing obvious. We'll have to do more tests. | 1.3767 | 0.03859 | 292 | 211 | 52 | 29 |
1391 | I see, any other complaints? | 1.3766 | 0.04167 | 231 | 163 | 49 | 19 |
1392 | So Mr. Johnson, what brings you here today? | 1.3766 | 0.04256 | 231 | 165 | 45 | 21 |
1393 | First, the mole on your back is no longer a problem. | 1.3766 | 0.03845 | 239 | 163 | 62 | 14 |
1394 | You appear to be constricted. | 1.3766 | 0.04195 | 239 | 171 | 46 | 22 |
1395 | Removing the snake is doable... getting you “back to the garden”, not so much. | 1.3766 | 0.04237 | 239 | 172 | 44 | 23 |
1396 | I’m ordering a PET scan to help diagnose the cause of your constriction | 1.3765 | 0.03766 | 255 | 175 | 64 | 16 |
1397 | Besides that, is everything else normal? | 1.3764 | 0.04027 | 263 | 189 | 49 | 25 |
1398 | And why have you come in today? | 1.3762 | 0.04356 | 210 | 148 | 45 | 17 |
1399 | If it's not bothering you we won't do anything right now. | 1.3761 | 0.04041 | 226 | 156 | 55 | 15 |
1400 | We'll have to run some tests. | 1.3761 | 0.03992 | 234 | 162 | 56 | 16 |
1401 | The good news is you’re not in danger. The bad news is you’re endangered. | 1.3760 | 0.03989 | 242 | 169 | 55 | 18 |
1402 | The next time you dress in drag Mr. Jones, Id try a feather boa. | 1.3760 | 0.04139 | 250 | 180 | 46 | 24 |
1403 | Now that we've cured your fear of snakes, is there anything else we can help you with? | 1.3760 | 0.03932 | 258 | 182 | 55 | 21 |
1404 | Your insurance says they only cover snake bites. | 1.3755 | 0.04134 | 237 | 168 | 49 | 20 |
1405 | We can help you with the Full Monty, but not the Python. | 1.3755 | 0.04038 | 245 | 173 | 52 | 20 |
1406 | Don't worry. It's going around. | 1.3755 | 0.03862 | 261 | 183 | 58 | 20 |
1407 | Difficulty breathing...feeling the world is closing in on you...sounds like a anxiety. I’ll give you something to help unwind. | 1.3755 | 0.04010 | 277 | 202 | 46 | 29 |
1408 | Sorry, but with your insurance this is the only pet scan they will pay for | 1.3750 | 0.04152 | 232 | 164 | 49 | 19 |
1409 | Yeah, man, you’re fucked. | 1.3750 | 0.04358 | 256 | 192 | 32 | 32 |
1410 | You do understand he doesn’t think of himself as a pet? | 1.3750 | 0.04083 | 248 | 177 | 49 | 22 |
1411 | I notice your blood pressure is a bit high. | 1.3750 | 0.04002 | 248 | 175 | 53 | 20 |
1412 | Maybe we could move your service viper to the chair” | 1.3750 | 0.03961 | 248 | 174 | 55 | 19 |
1413 | Why don't you take a week off work and go and unwind somewhere? | 1.3750 | 0.03961 | 248 | 174 | 55 | 19 |
1414 | I need you to take everything off, Mr Cooper please. | 1.3750 | 0.04002 | 248 | 175 | 53 | 20 |
1415 | And what happened to the gerbil? | 1.3750 | 0.03880 | 280 | 201 | 53 | 26 |
1416 | What do you mean, 'I think I came home with something from Africa?' | 1.3750 | 0.03878 | 248 | 172 | 59 | 17 |
1417 | I found out the reason of your discomfort. You have a human tangled up in your coils. | 1.3745 | 0.03723 | 275 | 192 | 63 | 20 |
1418 | So tell me when you noticed this tightness in your chest. | 1.3745 | 0.03863 | 275 | 196 | 55 | 24 |
1419 | Wear it for three days and your constipation will be gone. | 1.3745 | 0.03931 | 275 | 198 | 51 | 26 |
1420 | Restricted movement. Any other symptoms? | 1.3745 | 0.03920 | 259 | 183 | 55 | 21 |
1421 | Well Mr. Jones, you say you are experiencing tightness in the chest. As you may know, that has many causes. Let’s get a CT, MRI,EKG, sonogram, upper endoscopy, colonoscopy, cardiac cath, some blood work and we’ll get to the bottom of this. | 1.3745 | 0.04125 | 251 | 181 | 46 | 24 |
1422 | It says here you would like something removed. | 1.3745 | 0.04087 | 251 | 180 | 48 | 23 |
1423 | I think we’ll skip the prostate exam today. | 1.3745 | 0.04224 | 243 | 176 | 43 | 24 |
1424 | You can get dressed now. I think I've discovered your problem. | 1.3745 | 0.03845 | 243 | 167 | 61 | 15 |
1425 | Maybe the insurance code for vasoconstriction is close enough | 1.3745 | 0.03889 | 243 | 168 | 59 | 16 |
1426 | So.....what are your symptoms? | 1.3745 | 0.04069 | 235 | 165 | 52 | 18 |
1427 | I'm prescribing some snake oil. After a few days, you should be able to slip right out of its grip. | 1.3745 | 0.04287 | 235 | 170 | 42 | 23 |
1428 | I’ll endorse your emotional support python, but I make no guarantees about snakes on a plane. | 1.3744 | 0.04262 | 227 | 162 | 45 | 20 |
1429 | I’ll just prescribe a little something to help you both relax. | 1.3744 | 0.04122 | 227 | 159 | 51 | 17 |
1430 | Any tightness in your chest....difficulty breathing? | 1.3744 | 0.04421 | 219 | 158 | 40 | 21 |
1431 | Next of Kin: Eve | 1.3741 | 0.03878 | 270 | 192 | 55 | 23 |
1432 | Does it feel any better if you lie on a warm road? | 1.3740 | 0.04225 | 246 | 179 | 42 | 25 |
1433 | I see you told the nurse that you're feeling a tightening in your chest, is that right? | 1.3740 | 0.04106 | 246 | 176 | 48 | 22 |
1434 | Offhand, I'd say you're not actually paranoid. | 1.3740 | 0.04024 | 246 | 174 | 52 | 20 |
1435 | How long have you have you had this feeling of tightness in your chest? | 1.3739 | 0.04266 | 230 | 165 | 44 | 21 |
1436 | I would be a bit more cautious on Tinder in the future" | 1.3739 | 0.04310 | 230 | 166 | 42 | 22 |
1437 | Tightness in your chest can be caused by many things, so let's not jump to conclusions until we've run a few tests. | 1.3738 | 0.04295 | 214 | 151 | 46 | 17 |
1438 | You said it's 'slowly squeezing the life out of you'. Sounds like my ex. | 1.3735 | 0.03823 | 257 | 179 | 60 | 18 |
1439 | No, it’s not in your head ... this relationship is definitely suffocating you. | 1.3735 | 0.03823 | 249 | 172 | 61 | 16 |
1440 | It says here you're having trouble breathing? | 1.3735 | 0.03865 | 249 | 173 | 59 | 17 |
1441 | So tell me, Mr. Jones, when did you first notice you had difficulty breathing? | 1.3735 | 0.03865 | 249 | 173 | 59 | 17 |
1442 | It's never the obvious reason. Let's run a few tests to see why you're short of breath. | 1.3735 | 0.03989 | 249 | 176 | 53 | 20 |
1443 | It says here Adam that you had a bad reaction to an apple. | 1.3734 | 0.04329 | 241 | 177 | 38 | 26 |
1444 | I know men wear boas these days, but yours is a bit constricting, no? | 1.3734 | 0.04166 | 241 | 173 | 46 | 22 |
1445 | Yes, difficulty in breathing, and what else? | 1.3734 | 0.04040 | 241 | 170 | 52 | 19 |
1446 | I have a hunch about your shortness of breath, but your insurance company requires more tests. | 1.3734 | 0.04166 | 241 | 173 | 46 | 22 |
1447 | I'm recommending that you switch to a feather boa. | 1.3733 | 0.04241 | 225 | 160 | 46 | 19 |
1448 | OK, so the inhaler didn’t work. | 1.3733 | 0.04287 | 225 | 161 | 44 | 20 |
1449 | So tell me what the problem is. | 1.3732 | 0.04051 | 276 | 203 | 43 | 30 |
1450 | Look...it's your choice. Do you want to feel embraced & loved, or do you want to breathe? | 1.3731 | 0.04129 | 260 | 190 | 43 | 27 |
1451 | I can prescribe a muscle relaxant, but you have to figure out how to give it to the snake. | 1.3730 | 0.04046 | 244 | 173 | 51 | 20 |
1452 | I don’t think I can treat this. It’s an endangered species. | 1.3729 | 0.04229 | 236 | 170 | 44 | 22 |
1453 | Hmm, shortness of breath. Anything else? | 1.3726 | 0.03644 | 263 | 180 | 68 | 15 |
1454 | Feeling any tightness in your chest? | 1.3725 | 0.04000 | 255 | 182 | 51 | 22 |
1455 | In fact, it is the opposite of a tape worm. | 1.3725 | 0.04038 | 255 | 183 | 49 | 23 |
1456 | Your cholesterol is down, but your blood pressure is out of control. | 1.3725 | 0.04132 | 247 | 178 | 46 | 23 |
1457 | Have you noticed any other symptoms? | 1.3725 | 0.03928 | 247 | 173 | 56 | 18 |
1458 | Take 3 aspirin,give him 3 rabbits,and call me in the morning. | 1.3725 | 0.03885 | 247 | 172 | 58 | 17 |
1459 | This isn't even covered in Canada, unfortunately. | 1.3724 | 0.04190 | 239 | 172 | 45 | 22 |
1460 | Ok, give him two mice and call me in the morning. | 1.3724 | 0.04062 | 239 | 169 | 51 | 19 |
1461 | Everything seems to be perfectly normal, was there a specific reason for your visit today? | 1.3724 | 0.03975 | 239 | 167 | 55 | 17 |
1462 | It's actually good he has you covered -- his plan's deductible is much lower. | 1.3723 | 0.04206 | 231 | 165 | 46 | 20 |
1463 | And you ate the entire apple? | 1.3723 | 0.04161 | 231 | 164 | 48 | 19 |
1464 | Have you tried asking nicely? | 1.3722 | 0.03693 | 266 | 184 | 65 | 17 |
1465 | And, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the discomfort? | 1.3721 | 0.03928 | 258 | 183 | 54 | 21 |
1466 | Your blood work looks fine, however there appears to be a circulation problem. | 1.3719 | 0.04110 | 242 | 173 | 48 | 21 |
1467 | After ruling out all the possibilities, I have concluded that he just really likes you | 1.3719 | 0.03983 | 242 | 170 | 54 | 18 |
1468 | I’m not worried about your medical coverage I can see you have COBRA | 1.3719 | 0.04110 | 242 | 173 | 48 | 21 |
1469 | I'm afraid you've got the Grippe | 1.3719 | 0.03940 | 242 | 169 | 56 | 17 |
1470 | Compression stockings should take care of those cold feet. | 1.3719 | 0.04068 | 242 | 172 | 50 | 20 |
1471 | Don't be modest, take off the snake. | 1.3719 | 0.03896 | 242 | 168 | 58 | 16 |
1472 | I've got some pills for that, but you might have a hard time swallowing them. | 1.3718 | 0.04167 | 234 | 167 | 47 | 20 |
1473 | You are fine but the boa needs to unwind. | 1.3718 | 0.04078 | 234 | 165 | 51 | 18 |
1474 | Get more exercise, eat more vegetables, and avoid the Amazon river basin. | 1.3718 | 0.04167 | 234 | 167 | 47 | 20 |
1475 | Well, if it’s any consolation, it seems to like you. | 1.3717 | 0.04083 | 226 | 158 | 52 | 16 |
1476 | I’ll write the note but have you considered a therapy dog instead? | 1.3717 | 0.04363 | 226 | 164 | 40 | 22 |
1477 | Soooo . . . a general tightness in the chest? | 1.3716 | 0.03741 | 261 | 181 | 63 | 17 |
1478 | Ha! Everyone's a doctor after they've googled their symptoms. | 1.3716 | 0.03895 | 261 | 185 | 55 | 21 |
1479 | On a positive note, he's bulimic. | 1.3715 | 0.03738 | 253 | 174 | 64 | 15 |
1480 | Well at least it isn't a frog in the throat. | 1.3714 | 0.04401 | 210 | 150 | 42 | 18 |
1481 | I see here that you're out of work. Do you by any chance have COBRA? | 1.3714 | 0.04114 | 245 | 176 | 47 | 22 |
1482 | Chest tightness, difficulty breathing,...any other symptoms? | 1.3714 | 0.04032 | 245 | 174 | 51 | 20 |
1483 | So what seems to be the problem today?" | 1.3713 | 0.04171 | 237 | 170 | 46 | 21 |
1484 | I’ll write a prescription for a deconstrictant. | 1.3713 | 0.04041 | 237 | 167 | 52 | 18 |
1485 | So this is what you meant when you said you were constricted | 1.3713 | 0.04041 | 237 | 167 | 52 | 18 |
1486 | A scarf during cold and flu season. A boa is merely affectation | 1.3713 | 0.04085 | 237 | 168 | 50 | 19 |
1487 | I had to Google this one. | 1.3713 | 0.04214 | 237 | 171 | 44 | 22 |
1488 | A little tight, but much better than those gowns that leave you naked in the back | 1.3713 | 0.04171 | 237 | 170 | 46 | 21 |
1489 | Insurance is denying your claim, as only they have the legal right to squeeze you. | 1.3712 | 0.04139 | 229 | 162 | 49 | 18 |
1490 | I've run some tests and think I've found the cause of your high blood pressure | 1.3712 | 0.03998 | 229 | 159 | 55 | 15 |
1491 | I’m prescribing snake oil | 1.3711 | 0.04025 | 256 | 184 | 49 | 23 |
1492 | So, what about "Don't Tread on Me" did you not understand? | 1.3711 | 0.03987 | 256 | 183 | 51 | 22 |
1493 | Well, The good news is the tightness in your chest is not the result of a heart attack | 1.3710 | 0.04244 | 221 | 157 | 46 | 18 |
1494 | I changed my mind, could you please put the shirt back on? | 1.3710 | 0.04196 | 248 | 181 | 42 | 25 |
1495 | Well, the symptoms you describe could be caused by any number of things | 1.3710 | 0.04078 | 248 | 178 | 48 | 22 |
1496 | And you first noticed this when? | 1.3708 | 0.03917 | 240 | 167 | 57 | 16 |
1497 | Give the snake one or two of these muscle relaxants when you find you can’t breathe | 1.3708 | 0.04133 | 240 | 172 | 47 | 21 |
1498 | Which one of you is known as Monty? | 1.3707 | 0.03915 | 232 | 160 | 58 | 14 |
1499 | One prescription for an Emotional Support mongoose. | 1.3707 | 0.03991 | 259 | 186 | 50 | 23 |
1500 | We're gonna need insurance pre-authorzation for an anacondectomy... | 1.3705 | 0.04344 | 224 | 162 | 41 | 21 |
1501 | I'm referring you to a veterinarian. I suspect your snake is suffering from a treatable case of separation anxiety. | 1.3705 | 0.04121 | 251 | 182 | 45 | 24 |
1502 | I see they squeezed you in | 1.3705 | 0.04121 | 251 | 182 | 45 | 24 |
1503 | You say you signed up for Cobra health? | 1.3705 | 0.03882 | 251 | 176 | 57 | 18 |
1504 | It doesn't matter--your COBRA coverage has still expired. | 1.3704 | 0.04259 | 243 | 178 | 40 | 25 |
1505 | I’m going to have to refer you to a veterinarian. | 1.3704 | 0.03970 | 243 | 171 | 54 | 18 |
1506 | You'll have to uncoil your emotional support animal so we can proceed. | 1.3704 | 0.04096 | 243 | 174 | 48 | 21 |
1507 | Mr. Johnson, based on all these tests, I feel the cause of your high blood pressure is stress. | 1.3704 | 0.04219 | 243 | 177 | 42 | 24 |
1508 | I might suggest a different emotional support animal for your stress. | 1.3704 | 0.04096 | 243 | 174 | 48 | 21 |
1509 | Let's start with a few questions about your lifestyle. | 1.3702 | 0.03807 | 262 | 184 | 59 | 19 |
1510 | Have you travelled outside of the US in the past month? | 1.3702 | 0.03957 | 262 | 188 | 51 | 23 |
1511 | No, I said a RESTRICTED diet. | 1.3702 | 0.03845 | 262 | 185 | 57 | 20 |
1512 | This certainly could be the reason you’re constipated. | 1.3702 | 0.03957 | 262 | 188 | 51 | 23 |
1513 | How long has this man been bothering you? | 1.3702 | 0.04365 | 235 | 173 | 37 | 25 |
1514 | Let's start from the beginning. Do you have any allergies? | 1.3701 | 0.03929 | 254 | 180 | 54 | 20 |
1515 | I'm glad to report we've ruled out asthma" | 1.3701 | 0.04008 | 254 | 182 | 50 | 22 |
1516 | And how long have you had trouble swallowing? | 1.3700 | 0.04210 | 227 | 162 | 46 | 19 |
1517 | ...and what can I help you with today? | 1.3699 | 0.04019 | 246 | 175 | 51 | 20 |
1518 | You're covered but I'm afraid the snake is out of network. | 1.3699 | 0.03977 | 246 | 174 | 53 | 19 |
1519 | Yeah, that's the problem with our new hospital gowns. Everybody sees your asp. | 1.3699 | 0.04019 | 246 | 175 | 51 | 20 |
1520 | We'll know more when the tests come in but I'll bet this is something tropical. | 1.3699 | 0.03850 | 246 | 171 | 59 | 16 |
1521 | Have you been under any unusual pressure lately? | 1.3697 | 0.04114 | 238 | 170 | 48 | 20 |
1522 | So you say your symptoms are shortness of breath, loss of mobility and trouble sleeping? | 1.3696 | 0.04012 | 257 | 185 | 49 | 23 |
1523 | On the plus side, it's not poisonous. | 1.3696 | 0.03571 | 257 | 174 | 71 | 12 |
1524 | I'll get to the snake in a minute, did you give us a copy of the front and back of your insurance card? | 1.3696 | 0.04124 | 230 | 163 | 49 | 18 |
1525 | Frankly, when you phoned the ER about the boa wrapped around your neck, we assumed feathers and alerted Psychiatry. | 1.3696 | 0.04124 | 230 | 163 | 49 | 18 |
1526 | You're going to be just fine, but the snake has got to stop smoking. | 1.3695 | 0.04064 | 249 | 179 | 48 | 22 |
1527 | Take a mongoose and call me in the morning | 1.3695 | 0.03688 | 249 | 170 | 66 | 13 |
1528 | I suggest we try a muscle relaxant. | 1.3695 | 0.03984 | 249 | 177 | 52 | 20 |
1529 | You're right; there IS a lot of it going around. | 1.3695 | 0.04182 | 249 | 182 | 42 | 25 |
1530 | What seems to be the problem? | 1.3694 | 0.03928 | 268 | 193 | 51 | 24 |
1531 | The good news is that it will let you go once mating season ends. The bad news is that you are pregnant. | 1.3694 | 0.04370 | 222 | 161 | 40 | 21 |
1532 | Besides the tightness in your chest do you have any other complaints? | 1.3692 | 0.03902 | 260 | 185 | 54 | 21 |
1533 | I'm going to prescribe two mice and check with you in the morning. | 1.3692 | 0.03707 | 260 | 180 | 64 | 16 |
1534 | I don't think you'll need a follow-up appointment. | 1.3692 | 0.03748 | 279 | 198 | 59 | 22 |
1535 | We use this for blood pressure when the nurse is off. | 1.3692 | 0.03982 | 279 | 205 | 45 | 29 |
1536 | You're in very good health Mr. President. | 1.3692 | 0.03883 | 279 | 202 | 51 | 26 |
1537 | I think you should reconsider your support animal choices. | 1.3692 | 0.04439 | 214 | 155 | 39 | 20 |
1538 | Would you say it’s pain or just pressure? | 1.3691 | 0.04176 | 233 | 167 | 46 | 20 |
1539 | Now just relax while Mr. Slinky takes your blood pressure. | 1.3691 | 0.04220 | 233 | 168 | 44 | 21 |
1540 | Your cholesterol and blood sugar look fine. Its the venom levels that concern me. | 1.3691 | 0.04131 | 233 | 166 | 48 | 19 |
1541 | Well, I would say get rid of it, if it doesn't spark joy! | 1.3691 | 0.04263 | 233 | 169 | 42 | 22 |
1542 | Self medicating I see. | 1.3691 | 0.04086 | 233 | 165 | 50 | 18 |
1543 | Your insurance will only cover this if you become unable to breathe. | 1.3690 | 0.04145 | 252 | 184 | 43 | 25 |
1544 | Other than that, you're in great shape. | 1.3690 | 0.03717 | 271 | 190 | 62 | 19 |
1545 | Sorry, your HMO only covers anacondas. | 1.3690 | 0.03826 | 271 | 193 | 56 | 22 |
1546 | Have you tried charming it?” | 1.3689 | 0.04043 | 225 | 157 | 53 | 15 |
1547 | We figured out the tightness in your chest. | 1.3689 | 0.03913 | 244 | 171 | 56 | 17 |
1548 | Any numbness or tingling in lower extremities? | 1.3689 | 0.03999 | 244 | 173 | 52 | 19 |
1549 | OK...other than that anything else...? | 1.3689 | 0.03913 | 244 | 171 | 56 | 17 |
1550 | Just learn to relax and unwind. | 1.3688 | 0.03617 | 282 | 197 | 66 | 19 |
1551 | I'm having trouble finding the code under your insurance whereby I get paid. | 1.3686 | 0.04181 | 236 | 170 | 45 | 21 |
1552 | Now you might feel a little squeeze. | 1.3686 | 0.03820 | 236 | 162 | 61 | 13 |
1553 | I want you to take two mongooses and call me in the morning. | 1.3686 | 0.03956 | 255 | 182 | 52 | 21 |
1554 | I said a RE-stricted diet. | 1.3686 | 0.03755 | 255 | 177 | 62 | 16 |
1555 | I'm going to need you to get undressed. | 1.3684 | 0.03984 | 266 | 193 | 48 | 25 |
1556 | OK, good. Now breathe out. | 1.3684 | 0.03922 | 247 | 174 | 55 | 18 |
1557 | But the good news is your hernia seems to have stabilized. | 1.3684 | 0.04101 | 228 | 161 | 50 | 17 |
1558 | No, I indicated compression socks. | 1.3682 | 0.04056 | 239 | 170 | 50 | 19 |
1559 | No, that pressure you feel is a snake wrapped around your body. Any other questions? | 1.3680 | 0.03772 | 269 | 190 | 59 | 20 |
1560 | I'm prescribing a mild muscle relaxant... | 1.3680 | 0.04011 | 250 | 179 | 50 | 21 |
1561 | Sorry Mr. Johnson... this time I'll write ASP-irin more clearly. | 1.3680 | 0.04200 | 231 | 166 | 45 | 20 |
1562 | I’m going to start you out on four mice three times a day and we’ll see if that doesn’t reduce the pressure | 1.3680 | 0.03970 | 231 | 161 | 55 | 15 |
1563 | I'll be giving you a letter that should allow you to fly with the support boa. | 1.3680 | 0.04109 | 231 | 164 | 49 | 18 |
1564 | Ok, Let's start with your date of birth please. | 1.3678 | 0.04188 | 242 | 176 | 43 | 23 |
1565 | You must have heard me wrong; I said RESTRICTED diet. | 1.3676 | 0.03897 | 253 | 179 | 55 | 19 |
1566 | We just need to squeeze one more urine sample out of you and then we'll be done. | 1.3676 | 0.04055 | 253 | 183 | 47 | 23 |
1567 | The good news is it’s not poisonous. | 1.3675 | 0.03644 | 234 | 157 | 68 | 9 |
1568 | I don't like the look of these blood pressure numbers. | 1.3675 | 0.03743 | 283 | 202 | 58 | 23 |
1569 | They didn't kick you off the plane because of your emotional support python. They kicked you off because you weren't wearing pants. | 1.3673 | 0.04109 | 245 | 177 | 46 | 22 |
1570 | Don't worry, he's just taking your blood pressure. | 1.3673 | 0.03900 | 245 | 172 | 56 | 17 |
1571 | What brings you in today Mr. York? | 1.3673 | 0.04311 | 226 | 164 | 41 | 21 |
1572 | If this doesn’t work, we'll talk about liposuction. | 1.3671 | 0.03648 | 286 | 202 | 63 | 21 |
1573 | So, how's the new zookeeper's job going? | 1.3671 | 0.03807 | 237 | 163 | 61 | 13 |
1574 | We find the boa keeps you warmer than the paper gowns | 1.3671 | 0.04166 | 237 | 171 | 45 | 21 |
1575 | There’s nothing to worry about. It’s nonvenomous. | 1.3671 | 0.03854 | 237 | 164 | 59 | 14 |
1576 | You'll need to lose your support animal | 1.3670 | 0.04425 | 218 | 159 | 38 | 21 |
1577 | I'm cancelling your appointment for next week. | 1.3668 | 0.04225 | 229 | 165 | 44 | 20 |
1578 | I ‘m going to prescribe muscle relaxers... | 1.3668 | 0.03992 | 229 | 160 | 54 | 15 |
1579 | His blood pressure is great. Yours, on the other hand... | 1.3668 | 0.04086 | 229 | 162 | 50 | 17 |
1580 | This is our new intern - he’ll be taking your blood pressure. | 1.3668 | 0.03910 | 259 | 185 | 53 | 21 |
1581 | You say you feel a tightness in your chest? | 1.3667 | 0.03955 | 240 | 169 | 54 | 17 |
1582 | This seems to be a case of bowel constrictor. | 1.3667 | 0.03797 | 270 | 192 | 57 | 21 |
1583 | I am writing you a prescription to help with the contractions. | 1.3665 | 0.04154 | 251 | 184 | 42 | 25 |
1584 | You may want to try snake oil. | 1.3665 | 0.03998 | 251 | 180 | 50 | 21 |
1585 | Any trouble being swallowed? | 1.3665 | 0.04115 | 251 | 183 | 44 | 24 |
1586 | The good news is that it’s not a skin condition. | 1.3665 | 0.04139 | 221 | 156 | 49 | 16 |
1587 | And what is your primary complaint? | 1.3665 | 0.04286 | 221 | 159 | 43 | 19 |
1588 | Good news, bad news- You have high blood pressure, but we think we know the cause. | 1.3664 | 0.03802 | 262 | 185 | 58 | 19 |
1589 | This particular snake is on the endangered species list, so you are just going to have to learn to live with it. | 1.3664 | 0.04095 | 232 | 165 | 49 | 18 |
1590 | Your temperature is fine, but he's running a bit cold. | 1.3664 | 0.04140 | 232 | 166 | 47 | 19 |
1591 | Your name wouldn't be Monty, by any chance? | 1.3663 | 0.04173 | 243 | 177 | 43 | 23 |
1592 | Yup, it's herpetitis. | 1.3663 | 0.04049 | 243 | 174 | 49 | 20 |
1593 | All your presenting symptoms point to hypoanacondria, but since you're here let's take a look. | 1.3663 | 0.04049 | 243 | 174 | 49 | 20 |
1594 | You've got coil-itis." | 1.3662 | 0.04033 | 213 | 147 | 54 | 12 |
1595 | Ok. So everything looks fine. I'll see you next year. | 1.3661 | 0.03924 | 254 | 181 | 53 | 20 |
1596 | Good news. The snake is going to be ok. | 1.3661 | 0.03884 | 254 | 180 | 55 | 19 |
1597 | I see you checked "chest tightness" | 1.3660 | 0.04057 | 235 | 167 | 50 | 18 |
1598 | It's our new organic blood pressure cuff, from Florida. You will feel some tightening. | 1.3660 | 0.04057 | 235 | 167 | 50 | 18 |
1599 | I'm afraid all things point to Monty Python Disease. | 1.3660 | 0.04190 | 235 | 170 | 44 | 21 |
1600 | So, Mr. Clark, what brings you in today? | 1.3659 | 0.03702 | 276 | 195 | 61 | 20 |
1601 | Sorry, your Cobra doesn't cover boa. | 1.3659 | 0.03977 | 276 | 203 | 45 | 28 |
1602 | No, it's not herpes; it's herpetology. | 1.3659 | 0.04135 | 246 | 179 | 44 | 23 |
1603 | Are you a smoker? | 1.3659 | 0.04135 | 246 | 179 | 44 | 23 |
1604 | No, the epinephrine is for your anaphalaxisis- the rat is for the anaconda. | 1.3659 | 0.03930 | 246 | 174 | 54 | 18 |
1605 | Any unhealthy attachments? | 1.3657 | 0.04153 | 216 | 152 | 49 | 15 |
1606 | You say you’re feeling short of breath. Any other symptoms? | 1.3656 | 0.04295 | 227 | 165 | 41 | 21 |
1607 | I recommend staying off that motherfucking plane. | 1.3656 | 0.04429 | 227 | 168 | 35 | 24 |
1608 | How may I help you? | 1.3655 | 0.04194 | 238 | 173 | 43 | 22 |
1609 | Your blood pressure is high. Any pressing concerns? | 1.3655 | 0.04021 | 238 | 169 | 51 | 18 |
1610 | Congratulations! It’s a boa. | 1.3655 | 0.03772 | 290 | 210 | 54 | 26 |
1611 | I recommend switching to a feather boa. It might not make as strong a fashion statement, but it's easier on the heart and lungs. | 1.3655 | 0.04059 | 249 | 180 | 47 | 22 |
1612 | For starters, you are wound too tight. | 1.3655 | 0.03896 | 249 | 176 | 55 | 18 |
1613 | I'd like to run a few tests to rule out some of the more serious causes of shortness of breath. | 1.3655 | 0.03938 | 249 | 177 | 53 | 19 |
1614 | As soon as nurse Python has finished taking your blood pressure we'll check those hemorrhoids. | 1.3655 | 0.03978 | 249 | 178 | 51 | 20 |
1615 | I see you're already familiar with health insurers and the pharmaceutical industry. | 1.3655 | 0.04099 | 249 | 181 | 45 | 23 |
1616 | This is my first prescription for snake oil. | 1.3655 | 0.03854 | 249 | 175 | 57 | 17 |
1617 | Snake or no snake, bend over. | 1.3655 | 0.03978 | 249 | 178 | 51 | 20 |
1618 | Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover snake coil. | 1.3654 | 0.03859 | 260 | 185 | 55 | 20 |
1619 | Other symptoms besides tightness in the chest? | 1.3651 | 0.03853 | 241 | 168 | 58 | 15 |
1620 | Sometimes you eat the thing, sometimes the thing eats you. . .very simple really. | 1.3651 | 0.03781 | 252 | 176 | 60 | 16 |
1621 | Have you been under a lot of pressure? | 1.3651 | 0.04178 | 252 | 186 | 40 | 26 |
1622 | I need you to try to swallow for me. | 1.3651 | 0.03863 | 252 | 178 | 56 | 18 |
1623 | For a herpetologist, you're WAY too wrapped-up in your work. | 1.3651 | 0.03944 | 252 | 180 | 52 | 20 |
1624 | It's better than the lap band. After the first week, you won't mind the calorie restriction at all. | 1.3651 | 0.03904 | 252 | 179 | 54 | 19 |
1625 | It says here you have tightness in the chest. | 1.3650 | 0.03903 | 263 | 189 | 52 | 22 |
1626 | You? You're fine. But I'd like to run some tests on the boa. | 1.3650 | 0.03593 | 263 | 181 | 68 | 14 |
1627 | Your toenail fungus seems to have cleared up. Is there anything else I can help you with? | 1.3649 | 0.04166 | 211 | 148 | 49 | 14 |
1628 | Blood pressure is high - but understandable. | 1.3649 | 0.04173 | 222 | 158 | 47 | 17 |
1629 | I'm impressed you managed to get your gown off. | 1.3648 | 0.04125 | 233 | 167 | 47 | 19 |
1630 | Like I told you Monty, you can't bring your human to the vet. | 1.3648 | 0.04199 | 244 | 179 | 41 | 24 |
1631 | Well right off the bat, I think we'll rule out bronchitis and pneumonia | 1.3648 | 0.03993 | 244 | 174 | 51 | 19 |
1632 | I'm going to back off on the vasoconstrictor medication. | 1.3648 | 0.04118 | 244 | 177 | 45 | 22 |
1633 | As your vet, I must advise against eating any more humans. | 1.3648 | 0.04035 | 244 | 175 | 49 | 20 |
1634 | Like I said, snake strangulations are only covered under the Double Platinum HMO plan, and you only have the Triple Gold PPO. But you can update your plan during your employer's open enrollment next January. | 1.3647 | 0.04104 | 255 | 187 | 43 | 25 |
1635 | And when did this numbness start? | 1.3645 | 0.04333 | 214 | 154 | 42 | 18 |
1636 | In a way I’m jealous because I could really use a hug. | 1.3644 | 0.03814 | 236 | 163 | 60 | 13 |
1637 | Unfortunately, your insurance only covers domestic serpents. | 1.3644 | 0.04088 | 236 | 169 | 48 | 19 |
1638 | Any travel abroad recently? | 1.3644 | 0.04043 | 236 | 168 | 50 | 18 |
1639 | If we don't take any action, I'm afraid that this coil may be mortal. | 1.3644 | 0.04218 | 236 | 172 | 42 | 22 |
1640 | I'm afraid the news will be hard to digest, Mr. Beckley. Well, for you anyway. | 1.3644 | 0.03953 | 236 | 166 | 54 | 16 |
1641 | So you're telling me you can't sleep because of a hissing noise? | 1.3644 | 0.04000 | 247 | 177 | 50 | 20 |
1642 | Believe it or not, the best thing for this is good old-fashioned snake oil. You'll slide out in no time. | 1.3643 | 0.03956 | 258 | 186 | 50 | 22 |
1643 | His blood pressure is perfect; yours, on the other hand....." | 1.3643 | 0.03840 | 258 | 183 | 56 | 19 |
1644 | So what's the problem, sir? | 1.3643 | 0.03956 | 258 | 186 | 50 | 22 |
1645 | So, is this your way of saying you're covered thru COBRA? | 1.3643 | 0.03917 | 258 | 185 | 52 | 21 |
1646 | No, tapeworms are slightly different. | 1.3643 | 0.04142 | 258 | 191 | 40 | 27 |
1647 | Now, do you smoke? | 1.3640 | 0.04279 | 228 | 166 | 41 | 21 |
1648 | Shortness of breath and constant hissing". 'Is this all that's been bothering you? | 1.3640 | 0.03827 | 239 | 166 | 59 | 14 |
1649 | Any new sources of stress in your life? | 1.3640 | 0.03873 | 239 | 167 | 57 | 15 |
1650 | Stop worrying. He's fine. | 1.3640 | 0.04051 | 239 | 171 | 49 | 19 |
1651 | I am writing you a prescription for Xanax and some feeder mice. | 1.3640 | 0.04051 | 239 | 171 | 49 | 19 |
1652 | You know, there are more effective treatments for constipation. | 1.3640 | 0.04045 | 250 | 181 | 47 | 22 |
1653 | Give her one mouse three times daily. | 1.3640 | 0.03925 | 250 | 178 | 53 | 19 |
1654 | This shortness of breath; is it new? | 1.3640 | 0.03885 | 261 | 187 | 53 | 21 |
1655 | I can prescribe you Snake Oil, but it is not covered by insurance. | 1.3640 | 0.04177 | 261 | 195 | 37 | 29 |
1656 | I think it must have been my penmanship on that last prescription. Let’s try again. | 1.3640 | 0.04017 | 272 | 201 | 43 | 28 |
1657 | So, does it really feel like a constriction, or is it more a sharp radiating pain? | 1.3636 | 0.03739 | 264 | 186 | 60 | 18 |
1658 | What does Eve say? | 1.3636 | 0.03891 | 253 | 180 | 54 | 19 |
1659 | Many of my patients prefer it to a suppository. | 1.3636 | 0.03891 | 253 | 180 | 54 | 19 |
1660 | You felt fine when you got on the plane. Then what? | 1.3636 | 0.04149 | 231 | 166 | 46 | 19 |
1661 | No, Mr. Carlson, tightness in the chest and shortness of breath are not always symptoms of a heart attack. | 1.3636 | 0.04198 | 220 | 157 | 46 | 17 |
1662 | Well it's not your appendix. | 1.3636 | 0.04239 | 231 | 168 | 42 | 21 |
1663 | I'm going to prescribe some snake oil, which should loosen it right up. | 1.3636 | 0.04057 | 242 | 174 | 48 | 20 |
1664 | You can't imagine how many cases like yours we see." | 1.3633 | 0.03785 | 267 | 190 | 57 | 20 |
1665 | He enjoys hugging all our patients. | 1.3633 | 0.04021 | 245 | 176 | 49 | 20 |
1666 | Any other symptoms besides shortness of breath? | 1.3633 | 0.04144 | 245 | 179 | 43 | 23 |
1667 | It's my fault ... on this prescription I'm writing out 'vaso-constrictor.' | 1.3632 | 0.04285 | 234 | 172 | 39 | 23 |
1668 | Please make sure he is fasting when you come in for the blood tests | 1.3632 | 0.04199 | 234 | 170 | 43 | 21 |
1669 | Next time, try not to tread on it. | 1.3632 | 0.03881 | 234 | 163 | 57 | 14 |
1670 | Well, it’s good we managed to squeeze you in today. | 1.3632 | 0.04109 | 223 | 158 | 49 | 16 |
1671 | So on a scale of one to ten... | 1.3632 | 0.04158 | 223 | 159 | 47 | 17 |
1672 | The good news is the tightness in your chest is not a heart attack. | 1.3629 | 0.03827 | 259 | 184 | 56 | 19 |
1673 | I suggest you feed him two mice and call me in the morning. | 1.3629 | 0.04147 | 248 | 182 | 42 | 24 |
1674 | And for your legs, I’ll prescribe pressure socks with garters. | 1.3629 | 0.03945 | 248 | 177 | 52 | 19 |
1675 | And then what happened? | 1.3629 | 0.04027 | 248 | 179 | 48 | 21 |
1676 | Tightness in the chest.... Could be anxiety, could be any number of things. We'll have to run some tests. | 1.3629 | 0.04029 | 237 | 169 | 50 | 18 |
1677 | Lots of things can cause chest pain. | 1.3629 | 0.04073 | 237 | 170 | 48 | 19 |
1678 | Uh-huh, tightness of the chest, difficulty breathing . . . anything else? | 1.3629 | 0.03939 | 237 | 167 | 54 | 16 |
1679 | Say this phrase twice daily for a week and it should turn back into a staff. | 1.3629 | 0.04203 | 237 | 173 | 42 | 22 |
1680 | So, how did you and my ex meet? | 1.3629 | 0.04328 | 237 | 176 | 36 | 25 |
1681 | You seem a little constricted. | 1.3628 | 0.04166 | 226 | 162 | 46 | 18 |
1682 | Now tell me again about the tightness in your chest? | 1.3628 | 0.04022 | 226 | 159 | 52 | 15 |
1683 | The reports came back from the lab and it turns out, there's a snake wrapped around you. | 1.3625 | 0.04149 | 251 | 185 | 41 | 25 |
1684 | You look tense, I'll give you a few minutes to unwind. | 1.3625 | 0.03829 | 251 | 177 | 57 | 17 |
1685 | You still have to bend over. | 1.3625 | 0.03912 | 251 | 179 | 53 | 19 |
1686 | What is the problem? | 1.3625 | 0.04110 | 251 | 184 | 43 | 24 |
1687 | It’s psychosomatic. You just need to unwind. | 1.3625 | 0.03702 | 251 | 174 | 63 | 14 |
1688 | And what are you here to see me about this morning? | 1.3625 | 0.03993 | 240 | 171 | 51 | 18 |
1689 | Just checking. When was the last time you fed him? | 1.3625 | 0.04037 | 240 | 172 | 49 | 19 |
1690 | Thanks for squeezing me in | 1.3625 | 0.04037 | 240 | 172 | 49 | 19 |
1691 | We were able to squeeze you in. Now what's the problem? | 1.3624 | 0.04033 | 229 | 162 | 51 | 16 |
1692 | First question Mr. Neeman. Have you recently been traveling abroad? | 1.3624 | 0.04080 | 229 | 163 | 49 | 17 |
1693 | Believe me, everybody in healthcare is feeling the squeeze nowadays. | 1.3624 | 0.04080 | 229 | 163 | 49 | 17 |
1694 | Your insurance said if we can get the parasite inside your body, they'll cover it. | 1.3622 | 0.04036 | 254 | 185 | 46 | 23 |
1695 | The good news is we can rule out ringworm. | 1.3622 | 0.03919 | 254 | 182 | 52 | 20 |
1696 | I'll need you to take everything off for your exam. | 1.3622 | 0.03756 | 254 | 178 | 60 | 16 |
1697 | Your stool sample confirms, it's coilitis. | 1.3622 | 0.03997 | 254 | 184 | 48 | 22 |
1698 | I'd suggest putting aside some time to unwind. | 1.3622 | 0.03673 | 254 | 176 | 64 | 14 |
1699 | At any time in the last four weeks have you felt depressed, anxious or hopeless? | 1.3622 | 0.03958 | 254 | 183 | 50 | 21 |
1700 | Take two aspirin and give him four mice a day. | 1.3621 | 0.03958 | 243 | 173 | 52 | 18 |
1701 | Well, your blood pressure seems fine. | 1.3621 | 0.03958 | 243 | 173 | 52 | 18 |
1702 | If you want a second opinion, the snake is also endangered. | 1.3621 | 0.04167 | 243 | 178 | 42 | 23 |
1703 | I think we can squeeze you in next Tuesday | 1.3621 | 0.04043 | 243 | 175 | 48 | 20 |
1704 | Shouldn't we really be talking about the elephant in the room? | 1.3621 | 0.03902 | 232 | 162 | 56 | 14 |
1705 | Heart palpitations are normal for a man with your condition | 1.3621 | 0.04043 | 232 | 165 | 50 | 17 |
1706 | Let me write this down: Tightness in chest, difficulty breathing, started on Tuesday after a trip to the Everglades. Anything else you can tell me before I (look up from my clipboard and actually) examine you?' | 1.3621 | 0.03996 | 232 | 164 | 52 | 16 |
1707 | Yes, your scarf too. | 1.3621 | 0.04311 | 232 | 171 | 38 | 23 |
1708 | Have you traveled out of the country in the past year? | 1.3620 | 0.04032 | 221 | 155 | 52 | 14 |
1709 | Have him take two rodents, every four hours, then call me in the morning. | 1.3619 | 0.03847 | 268 | 193 | 53 | 22 |
1710 | Let me see if I can squeeze you in next week. | 1.3619 | 0.03685 | 257 | 179 | 63 | 15 |
1711 | Nothing serious. Just try to unwind, and you’ll be fine. | 1.3619 | 0.03685 | 257 | 179 | 63 | 15 |
1712 | And you say it was there when you woke up this morning? | 1.3618 | 0.03795 | 246 | 172 | 59 | 15 |
1713 | Seems like you’ve picked something up from your recent trip to Australia. | 1.3618 | 0.03966 | 246 | 176 | 51 | 19 |
1714 | The good news is that you should be able to digest the human over the next few days | 1.3617 | 0.04096 | 235 | 169 | 47 | 19 |
1715 | Have you been picking at it? | 1.3617 | 0.04096 | 235 | 169 | 47 | 19 |
1716 | Okay, so none of your friends thought you could manage a pet store. Then what? | 1.3617 | 0.03820 | 235 | 163 | 59 | 13 |
1717 | As we told your wife, we can save one of you. She has the glass tank in the car. | 1.3616 | 0.04285 | 224 | 163 | 41 | 20 |
1718 | I said erectile not reptile! | 1.3615 | 0.03968 | 260 | 189 | 48 | 23 |
1719 | I understand your frustration, but there's no need to hiss. | 1.3615 | 0.03854 | 260 | 186 | 54 | 20 |
1720 | I think it still counts as a preexisting condition. | 1.3614 | 0.04054 | 249 | 181 | 46 | 22 |
1721 | Are you having difficulty swallowing? | 1.3613 | 0.04015 | 238 | 170 | 50 | 18 |
1722 | Any symptoms other than the tightness in your chest? | 1.3613 | 0.04102 | 238 | 172 | 46 | 20 |
1723 | But the good news is...keep him properly fed, and you’re in no immediate danger | 1.3613 | 0.03741 | 238 | 164 | 62 | 12 |
1724 | We are done. Get dressed and get your asp out of here. | 1.3612 | 0.04103 | 227 | 162 | 48 | 17 |
1725 | You're backsliding - you've gained weight, your heart rate is elevated, and your breathing is shallow. | 1.3612 | 0.04056 | 227 | 161 | 50 | 16 |
1726 | Try a feather boa next time. | 1.3612 | 0.04103 | 227 | 162 | 48 | 17 |
1727 | Well, shortness of breath is a side-effect of your current medication | 1.3612 | 0.04511 | 227 | 171 | 30 | 26 |
1728 | I’m not a therapist, but I’d say this relationship is suffocating you. | 1.3612 | 0.03860 | 263 | 189 | 53 | 21 |
1729 | The good news? It’ll eliminate that frog in your throat. | 1.3612 | 0.03707 | 263 | 185 | 61 | 17 |
1730 | As for your pet mouse, I don't think we'll be able to save her. | 1.3611 | 0.03817 | 252 | 178 | 57 | 17 |
1731 | I'm referring you to a psychoherpetologist. He might be able to help you unwind. | 1.3611 | 0.04198 | 216 | 154 | 46 | 16 |
1732 | Perhaps you can prescribe me a different vasoconstrictor? | 1.3610 | 0.04191 | 241 | 177 | 41 | 23 |
1733 | Fortunately, your driver's license indicates that you're a donor. | 1.3610 | 0.04108 | 241 | 175 | 45 | 21 |
1734 | Have your traveled outside the continental United States in the last twenty one days? | 1.3609 | 0.03829 | 266 | 191 | 54 | 21 |
1735 | Our blood pressure machine is out of order. | 1.3609 | 0.03903 | 266 | 193 | 50 | 23 |
1736 | Just saw your cat scan. Is your house pet missing? | 1.3609 | 0.04158 | 230 | 166 | 45 | 19 |
1737 | Some respiratory constriction, a perfectly normal response. | 1.3609 | 0.03874 | 230 | 160 | 57 | 13 |
1738 | And how long have you had this man stuck in you Mr... Boa is it? | 1.3608 | 0.04061 | 255 | 187 | 44 | 24 |
1739 | Says here you’re having tightness in you’re chest? | 1.3608 | 0.03945 | 255 | 184 | 50 | 21 |
1740 | You know, as your proctologist I will have to look at your asp. | 1.3608 | 0.03866 | 255 | 182 | 54 | 19 |
1741 | Other than tightness in your chest is there anything else to report. | 1.3607 | 0.04106 | 219 | 155 | 49 | 15 |
1742 | Well, I most certainly can explain the crushing chest pain. | 1.3607 | 0.03945 | 244 | 174 | 52 | 18 |
1743 | You have Monty Python syndrome. | 1.3607 | 0.04112 | 244 | 178 | 44 | 22 |
1744 | I see your ex got custody of the apple. | 1.3607 | 0.03902 | 244 | 173 | 54 | 17 |
1745 | ...and avoid eating apples. | 1.3607 | 0.03945 | 244 | 174 | 52 | 18 |
1746 | much less invasive than stapling | 1.3606 | 0.03611 | 269 | 188 | 65 | 16 |
1747 | Well, you shouldn't have eaten her eggs. | 1.3605 | 0.04164 | 233 | 169 | 44 | 20 |
1748 | The pressure you feel in your chest is apparently not related to your heart. | 1.3605 | 0.04028 | 233 | 166 | 50 | 17 |
1749 | So you have a few questions about your COBRA? | 1.3605 | 0.03988 | 258 | 188 | 47 | 23 |
1750 | I'd suggest a lubricant. Snake oil should do the trick. | 1.3605 | 0.03912 | 258 | 186 | 51 | 21 |
1751 | I really won't know until I get the lab results back. | 1.3605 | 0.04100 | 258 | 191 | 41 | 26 |
1752 | Still single? | 1.3604 | 0.04068 | 222 | 157 | 50 | 15 |
1753 | Ok, can you breathe in for me? | 1.3604 | 0.03914 | 222 | 154 | 56 | 12 |
1754 | Ok, I'll give you credit for creativity. But this is the last time I'll refill your painkillers. | 1.3603 | 0.04116 | 247 | 181 | 43 | 23 |
1755 | Any other symptoms besides tightening of the chest? | 1.3603 | 0.03994 | 247 | 178 | 49 | 20 |
1756 | So you say you started feeling badly at the zoo. | 1.3603 | 0.03782 | 247 | 173 | 59 | 15 |
1757 | Yes, I can see that, but I would still like to rule out an allergic reaction. | 1.3602 | 0.04212 | 236 | 173 | 41 | 22 |
1758 | Good news is that he’ll be squeezing you less than your HMO and the drug companies | 1.3602 | 0.04037 | 236 | 169 | 49 | 18 |
1759 | Could you be more specific? | 1.3602 | 0.04169 | 236 | 172 | 43 | 21 |
1760 | Says here you have trouble breathing, is that correct? | 1.3602 | 0.03842 | 261 | 187 | 54 | 20 |
1761 | Yeah... it’s like worms... just much, much worse! | 1.3600 | 0.03810 | 275 | 199 | 53 | 23 |
1762 | Alright, I'm going to check your blood pressure. You may feel a gentle squeezing sensation on your arm. | 1.3600 | 0.03878 | 250 | 178 | 54 | 18 |
1763 | No, actually my chart says vapor rub. | 1.3600 | 0.03919 | 250 | 179 | 52 | 19 |
1764 | I’m going to refer you to a sssspecialist. | 1.3600 | 0.04119 | 250 | 184 | 42 | 24 |
1765 | Any history of python strangulation in your family? | 1.3600 | 0.04040 | 250 | 182 | 46 | 22 |
1766 | I also recommend you stay away from apples and sin. | 1.3600 | 0.04000 | 250 | 181 | 48 | 21 |
1767 | Are you sexually active? | 1.3600 | 0.04080 | 250 | 183 | 44 | 23 |
1768 | I'm sorry. Your insurance considers this a pre-existing condition. | 1.3598 | 0.03922 | 264 | 192 | 49 | 23 |
1769 | I can resubmit, but this is apparently all your plan covers for constipation.... | 1.3598 | 0.04031 | 264 | 195 | 43 | 26 |
1770 | The compression socks just didn't seem to be working. | 1.3598 | 0.03734 | 264 | 187 | 59 | 18 |
1771 | It appears your main squeeze has some serious attachment issues. | 1.3598 | 0.04045 | 239 | 172 | 48 | 19 |
1772 | I'll just renew your Emotional Support Animal prescription while you're here. | 1.3598 | 0.04376 | 214 | 156 | 39 | 19 |
1773 | Side effects may include shortness of breath | 1.3597 | 0.03845 | 253 | 180 | 55 | 18 |
1774 | So I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for his separation anxiety.... | 1.3596 | 0.04407 | 228 | 170 | 34 | 24 |
1775 | I'll run some tests, but it looks like you have a constriction. | 1.3596 | 0.03817 | 267 | 192 | 54 | 21 |
1776 | Your insurance company says it’s a pre-existing condition..... | 1.3594 | 0.04182 | 217 | 155 | 46 | 16 |
1777 | The good news is that the squeezing sensation in your chest is not a heart attack. | 1.3594 | 0.03932 | 256 | 185 | 50 | 21 |
1778 | No way I can certify it as a support pet! | 1.3594 | 0.03971 | 256 | 186 | 48 | 22 |
1779 | So you say she’s having trouble swallowing? | 1.3594 | 0.03932 | 256 | 185 | 50 | 21 |
1780 | So what is your support boa’s name? | 1.3593 | 0.04051 | 231 | 165 | 49 | 17 |
1781 | I suggest you take anti-HISS-tamines. | 1.3593 | 0.03909 | 231 | 162 | 55 | 14 |
1782 | Feed it two white mice and call me in the morning. | 1.3593 | 0.04277 | 231 | 170 | 39 | 22 |
1783 | Before he squeezes the life out of you, please finish filling out your insurance information. | 1.3593 | 0.04143 | 231 | 167 | 45 | 19 |
1784 | I told you, everything off except your underwear | 1.3592 | 0.03802 | 245 | 172 | 58 | 15 |
1785 | I’m not a vet but I think he just might be hungry | 1.3592 | 0.03757 | 245 | 171 | 60 | 14 |
1786 | I'm prescribing a little snake oil. | 1.3591 | 0.04141 | 220 | 157 | 47 | 16 |
1787 | Of course, there are two viewpoints to consider here. | 1.3591 | 0.03703 | 259 | 182 | 61 | 16 |
1788 | This is the worst case of ring worm I've ever seen. | 1.3591 | 0.04050 | 259 | 191 | 43 | 25 |
1789 | I’m going to refer both of us to a psychiatrist. | 1.3591 | 0.03938 | 259 | 188 | 49 | 22 |
1790 | And when did you first start experiencing shortness of breath? | 1.3591 | 0.03861 | 259 | 186 | 53 | 20 |
1791 | Anything else concerning you? | 1.3591 | 0.03899 | 259 | 187 | 51 | 21 |
1792 | Well, if you can't take a deep breath and exhale for me, maybe the best thing is just to reschedule. | 1.3590 | 0.04014 | 234 | 167 | 50 | 17 |
1793 | 145/90 .....try to unwind more often, Bob | 1.3589 | 0.04062 | 248 | 181 | 45 | 22 |
1794 | Nice boa. First attempt at cross dressing? | 1.3589 | 0.03981 | 248 | 179 | 49 | 20 |
1795 | It appears your snake is suffering from acute separation anxiety. | 1.3589 | 0.03898 | 248 | 177 | 53 | 18 |
1796 | Eve sent you, right? | 1.3589 | 0.04398 | 209 | 152 | 39 | 18 |
1797 | 'C'mon Mr. Franklin. Clothes off means everything.' | 1.3588 | 0.03752 | 262 | 186 | 58 | 18 |
1798 | Well, your blood pressure is a little high... | 1.3588 | 0.03713 | 262 | 185 | 60 | 17 |
1799 | Give her two rabbits and call me in the morning. | 1.3588 | 0.03829 | 262 | 188 | 54 | 20 |
1800 | Don't you remember what happened last time you listened to Dr. Oz? | 1.3588 | 0.03673 | 262 | 184 | 62 | 16 |
1801 | It says here on your chart that you’re his main squeeze. | 1.3587 | 0.04247 | 223 | 162 | 42 | 19 |
1802 | I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this is a preexisting condition so you are not covered. | 1.3587 | 0.04151 | 223 | 160 | 46 | 17 |
1803 | So let's see...a tightness in your chest, shortness of breath, high blood pressure. Any trouble sleeping? | 1.3587 | 0.04151 | 223 | 160 | 46 | 17 |
1804 | Give him these muscle relaxants and stop calling him 'Monty' | 1.3587 | 0.04199 | 223 | 161 | 44 | 18 |
1805 | I'm prescribing a de-constrictor. | 1.3586 | 0.03887 | 237 | 167 | 55 | 15 |
1806 | I’m going to write you a referral to my vet as well. | 1.3586 | 0.03865 | 251 | 179 | 54 | 18 |
1807 | Strangely your blood pressure has risen since you got your emotional support pet. | 1.3586 | 0.03823 | 251 | 178 | 56 | 17 |
1808 | According to clinical trials, the treatment is mutually beneficial. The snake keeps you from smoking, and you keep the snake from suffocating other people. | 1.3586 | 0.03987 | 251 | 182 | 48 | 21 |
1809 | I think we can rule out asthma. | 1.3586 | 0.03739 | 251 | 176 | 60 | 15 |
1810 | Let's wait and see what happens when he sheds. | 1.3585 | 0.03566 | 265 | 184 | 67 | 14 |
1811 | I'm still not sure how this happened but, we're going to get that human out right away | 1.3585 | 0.04353 | 212 | 154 | 40 | 18 |
1812 | You said 'parasite' on the phone so we were kind of thinking internal. | 1.3585 | 0.03873 | 265 | 192 | 51 | 22 |
1813 | Nice try Irwin. Now please drop your shorts and bend over. | 1.3584 | 0.04253 | 226 | 165 | 41 | 20 |
1814 | The reason for your visit today indicates chest pains and difficulty breathing. Could you be more specific? | 1.3584 | 0.04064 | 226 | 161 | 49 | 16 |
1815 | So...you realized you were naked right after eating the apple? | 1.3584 | 0.03865 | 226 | 157 | 57 | 12 |
1816 | GIVE THE SNAKE A SHOT OF WHISKEY TO UNWIND | 1.3583 | 0.04074 | 240 | 174 | 46 | 20 |
1817 | how long have you been her favorite squeeze? | 1.3583 | 0.04116 | 240 | 175 | 44 | 21 |
1818 | This is the one time that snake oil actually does work. | 1.3583 | 0.03833 | 254 | 181 | 55 | 18 |
1819 | Yeah, well, you're not the only one getting squeezed by the new Medicare plans. | 1.3583 | 0.03992 | 254 | 185 | 47 | 22 |
1820 | I guess you're not as charming as you thought you were. | 1.3583 | 0.04031 | 254 | 186 | 45 | 23 |
1821 | If you think you're choking now, wait till you see my bill. | 1.3583 | 0.03913 | 254 | 183 | 51 | 20 |
1822 | Feed him two rodents and call me in the morning. | 1.3583 | 0.03792 | 254 | 180 | 57 | 17 |
1823 | You still need to sign this consent. | 1.3583 | 0.03792 | 254 | 180 | 57 | 17 |
1824 | Looks like he found you way too charming. | 1.3580 | 0.04079 | 243 | 177 | 45 | 21 |
1825 | It's not covered since it's a pre-constricting condition. | 1.3580 | 0.04079 | 243 | 177 | 45 | 21 |
1826 | How are you otherwise? Stool normal? | 1.3580 | 0.04121 | 243 | 178 | 43 | 22 |
1827 | Well, it's actually helping your scoliosis. | 1.3580 | 0.03679 | 257 | 180 | 62 | 15 |
1828 | This is the noninvasive lap band alternative we discussed.... | 1.3580 | 0.03958 | 257 | 187 | 48 | 22 |
1829 | Couples therapy is on the second floor. | 1.3580 | 0.03880 | 257 | 185 | 52 | 20 |
1830 | Take two mongooses and call me in the morning | 1.3580 | 0.03841 | 257 | 184 | 54 | 19 |
1831 | You marked "Constricted Airway" on your intake form. Have you been experiencing any other symptoms? | 1.3580 | 0.03919 | 257 | 186 | 50 | 21 |
1832 | The symptoms began *after* you ate the apple, is that right? | 1.3579 | 0.03810 | 285 | 209 | 50 | 26 |
1833 | Question eight. Any family history of reptile constriction? | 1.3578 | 0.04115 | 218 | 155 | 48 | 15 |
1834 | Your insurance company does cover resuscitation, so I'll return in about half an hour. | 1.3578 | 0.04216 | 218 | 157 | 44 | 17 |
1835 | So...I see from your chart that you’re due for a flu shot. | 1.3578 | 0.04082 | 232 | 167 | 47 | 18 |
1836 | I'll make an exception and prescribe snake oil. | 1.3578 | 0.03943 | 232 | 164 | 53 | 15 |
1837 | This compression device should reduce the swelling. | 1.3578 | 0.03943 | 232 | 164 | 53 | 15 |
1838 | So how long would you say he has had abandonment issues? | 1.3577 | 0.04084 | 246 | 180 | 44 | 22 |
1839 | Be sure to give this muscle relaxer to your pet. | 1.3577 | 0.04002 | 246 | 178 | 48 | 20 |
1840 | Yes, I think it is very clever that you named him Monty. | 1.3575 | 0.04224 | 221 | 160 | 43 | 18 |
1841 | So...how was your trip to Brazil? | 1.3574 | 0.04134 | 235 | 171 | 44 | 20 |
1842 | Try not to breathe. | 1.3574 | 0.04178 | 235 | 172 | 42 | 21 |
1843 | Perhaps you should consider a different comfort pet. | 1.3574 | 0.03908 | 235 | 166 | 54 | 15 |
1844 | We've got a couple of options here, but not necessarily a lot of time. | 1.3574 | 0.03714 | 249 | 174 | 61 | 14 |
1845 | Is it more of a sharp or squeezing pain? | 1.3574 | 0.03926 | 249 | 179 | 51 | 19 |
1846 | I'd find a nice pair of beige pumps and go with it. | 1.3574 | 0.04003 | 263 | 194 | 44 | 25 |
1847 | They've a good python man at Special Surgery, but the earliest I can get you in is next week. | 1.3571 | 0.03919 | 238 | 169 | 53 | 16 |
1848 | Besides the tightness in your chest, any fever or loss of appetite? | 1.3571 | 0.03852 | 252 | 180 | 54 | 18 |
1849 | Other than difficulty breathing, any symptoms? | 1.3571 | 0.04053 | 238 | 172 | 47 | 19 |
1850 | So when did you first feel the tightening in your chest? | 1.3571 | 0.03964 | 238 | 170 | 51 | 17 |
1851 | So, when did you first start feeling a tightness around your chest, Mr Green? | 1.3571 | 0.04009 | 238 | 171 | 49 | 18 |
1852 | Yes, you are the last patient in my 36-hour shift...what seems to be the problem? | 1.3571 | 0.04633 | 210 | 158 | 29 | 23 |
1853 | Well, your feet look fine.... | 1.3571 | 0.03641 | 252 | 175 | 64 | 13 |
1854 | Spanx are easier. | 1.3571 | 0.04184 | 224 | 162 | 44 | 18 |
1855 | Have you traveled to any foreign countries in the past six months? | 1.3571 | 0.04135 | 224 | 161 | 46 | 17 |
1856 | Now let me get this straight. You lost your job and you want to pay with your Cobra? | 1.3571 | 0.04184 | 224 | 162 | 44 | 18 |
1857 | \unfortunately, all the tests indicate that he’s hungry. | 1.3571 | 0.03654 | 280 | 200 | 60 | 20 |
1858 | ...and are you sexually active? | 1.3569 | 0.03820 | 255 | 182 | 55 | 18 |
1859 | Difficulty breathing can have any number of causes. | 1.3569 | 0.03780 | 255 | 181 | 57 | 17 |
1860 | I think some snake oil might help. | 1.3568 | 0.03841 | 241 | 170 | 56 | 15 |
1861 | You seem all wound up. | 1.3568 | 0.03973 | 241 | 173 | 50 | 18 |
1862 | And after the apple what happened.... | 1.3568 | 0.03973 | 241 | 173 | 50 | 18 |
1863 | Any tightness in the chest? difficulty breathing...? | 1.3566 | 0.03764 | 272 | 196 | 55 | 21 |
1864 | I have good news. The tightness in your chest is not a cardiac problem. | 1.3566 | 0.03749 | 258 | 183 | 58 | 17 |
1865 | Charming. | 1.3566 | 0.03907 | 258 | 187 | 50 | 21 |
1866 | This should keep the swelling down for now. | 1.3566 | 0.03939 | 244 | 175 | 51 | 18 |
1867 | Your blood vessels are somewhat constricted, but it's good that you do have COBRA insurance. You're covered! | 1.3566 | 0.04228 | 244 | 182 | 37 | 25 |
1868 | have you traveled out of the country recently? | 1.3565 | 0.04151 | 230 | 167 | 44 | 19 |
1869 | My notes say you have been having trouble breathing. When did this start? | 1.3565 | 0.03916 | 230 | 162 | 54 | 14 |
1870 | So you're calling this more of a constriction than a pain? | 1.3563 | 0.03874 | 261 | 189 | 51 | 21 |
1871 | Yeh, but first why don't you tell me how you unlaced your shoes and unbuttoned your shirt. | 1.3563 | 0.03836 | 261 | 188 | 53 | 20 |
1872 | I said restrict your diet not constrict | 1.3562 | 0.04068 | 233 | 168 | 47 | 18 |
1873 | Have you visited any tropical locations recently? | 1.3562 | 0.04068 | 233 | 168 | 47 | 18 |
1874 | Well, you don’t have malaria. | 1.3562 | 0.04246 | 233 | 172 | 39 | 22 |
1875 | No, cross dressing is not generally bad for your health, but that kind of boa could be fatal. | 1.3562 | 0.04068 | 233 | 168 | 47 | 18 |
1876 | You say your wife's name is Eve? | 1.3561 | 0.03843 | 264 | 191 | 52 | 21 |
1877 | Patients hated the old colonoscopy prep, so let's give this a try. | 1.3560 | 0.03830 | 250 | 178 | 55 | 17 |
1878 | ...and have you experienced any chest pain or shortness of breath? | 1.3560 | 0.04074 | 250 | 184 | 43 | 23 |
1879 | Great news, your lab reports show you're in excellent health. | 1.3560 | 0.03994 | 250 | 182 | 47 | 21 |
1880 | Your insurance company says your chest tightness and shortness of breath are preexisting conditions. | 1.3559 | 0.03940 | 236 | 168 | 52 | 16 |
1881 | I do admit...It's an old method of curing constipation! | 1.3559 | 0.04160 | 222 | 160 | 45 | 17 |
1882 | I'm sorry but your HMO lists having a snake as a pre-existing condition. | 1.3559 | 0.04256 | 222 | 162 | 41 | 19 |
1883 | Didn't your previous vet tell you not to attempt to eat another full size human sooner than 6 months after the last one? | 1.3558 | 0.03992 | 267 | 198 | 43 | 26 |
1884 | In my expert opinion, you're under too much pressure. | 1.3557 | 0.03839 | 253 | 181 | 54 | 18 |
1885 | I'm sorry. You're not completely covered. | 1.3557 | 0.03839 | 253 | 181 | 54 | 18 |
1886 | Sorry. The pharmacy keeps misreading my prescriptions. | 1.3557 | 0.03798 | 253 | 180 | 56 | 17 |
1887 | These pills should help him unwind but call me in the morning if you still feel constricted. | 1.3556 | 0.03995 | 239 | 172 | 49 | 18 |
1888 | Well, I did say getting a pet would lower your heart rate. | 1.3556 | 0.03768 | 239 | 167 | 59 | 13 |
1889 | Your diagnosis is coilitis. | 1.3556 | 0.03906 | 239 | 170 | 53 | 16 |
1890 | I can confirm that the tightness in your chest is not viral. | 1.3556 | 0.04168 | 225 | 163 | 44 | 18 |
1891 | So, Darryl, some good news, it is not poisonous. | 1.3556 | 0.04215 | 225 | 164 | 42 | 19 |
1892 | No, I think we can rule out a tape worm. | 1.3556 | 0.04262 | 225 | 165 | 40 | 20 |
1893 | You seem pretty tightly wound! | 1.3555 | 0.03808 | 256 | 183 | 55 | 18 |
1894 | Most burlesque dancers use a feather boa | 1.3554 | 0.04045 | 242 | 176 | 46 | 20 |
1895 | Looks like we can rule out asthma. | 1.3554 | 0.03960 | 242 | 174 | 50 | 18 |
1896 | Any tightness in your chest? Shortness of breath? | 1.3553 | 0.04129 | 228 | 165 | 45 | 18 |
1897 | I suggest a muscle relaxant . . . for the snake. | 1.3552 | 0.03816 | 259 | 186 | 54 | 19 |
1898 | You're going to have to speak up. | 1.3552 | 0.03970 | 259 | 190 | 46 | 23 |
1899 | According to Amazon, when you ordered, you neglected to check the box labeled 'feather.' | 1.3551 | 0.03968 | 245 | 177 | 49 | 19 |
1900 | No, it’s not a tapeworm. But it’s nothing that a box full of guinea pigs won’t help. | 1.3551 | 0.03925 | 245 | 176 | 51 | 18 |
1901 | And how much do you weigh without the snake? | 1.3551 | 0.04092 | 245 | 180 | 43 | 22 |
1902 | Well, the good news, it's not COPD. | 1.3551 | 0.03615 | 276 | 196 | 62 | 18 |
1903 | What is your chief complaint today? | 1.3548 | 0.03892 | 248 | 178 | 52 | 18 |
1904 | Your blood test came back fine | 1.3548 | 0.03676 | 248 | 173 | 62 | 13 |
1905 | Your labs came back fine. | 1.3548 | 0.04071 | 217 | 154 | 49 | 14 |
1906 | Well, it’s been a year and he hasn’t eaten you yet. | 1.3547 | 0.03639 | 265 | 187 | 62 | 16 |
1907 | Alternative therapies can sometimes come back to bite you. | 1.3547 | 0.04098 | 234 | 170 | 45 | 19 |
1908 | It may be a nice pick up line, but 'I've got a python in my pants' is intended to be pure metaphor." | 1.3547 | 0.04053 | 234 | 169 | 47 | 18 |
1909 | Take two aspirin and a very cold shower. Then Run. | 1.3547 | 0.04098 | 234 | 170 | 45 | 19 |
1910 | Your blood pressure is on the high side. Do you smoke? | 1.3547 | 0.04098 | 234 | 170 | 45 | 19 |
1911 | The tightness in your chest is just a minor panic attack... Perhaps due to the python. | 1.3546 | 0.03941 | 251 | 182 | 49 | 20 |
1912 | It gives more accurate blood pressure reading. | 1.3546 | 0.03859 | 251 | 180 | 53 | 18 |
1913 | Crestor for cholesterol and a flute for the snake as needed. | 1.3546 | 0.03733 | 251 | 177 | 59 | 15 |
1914 | You say his name is Monty. | 1.3545 | 0.04134 | 220 | 158 | 46 | 16 |
1915 | I am prescribing a muscle relaxant for the snake which has worked well in clinical trials. | 1.3544 | 0.03881 | 237 | 168 | 54 | 15 |
1916 | This prescription should help with the hissing. | 1.3544 | 0.03881 | 237 | 168 | 54 | 15 |
1917 | Oddly enough, I prescribe snake oil in cases like yours. | 1.3544 | 0.04218 | 206 | 147 | 45 | 14 |
1918 | First the good news, we have excluded cancer. | 1.3543 | 0.03907 | 254 | 184 | 50 | 20 |
1919 | And you say you're feeling contractions | 1.3543 | 0.03827 | 254 | 182 | 54 | 18 |
1920 | And would you say its more of a burning, or a squeezing pain? | 1.3543 | 0.03867 | 254 | 183 | 52 | 19 |
1921 | Do you have any shortness of breath or pressure in your chest? | 1.3543 | 0.03745 | 254 | 180 | 58 | 16 |
1922 | I told you which fruits were forbidden, Adam. | 1.3543 | 0.04288 | 223 | 164 | 39 | 20 |
1923 | So what Garden was that? | 1.3543 | 0.03995 | 223 | 158 | 51 | 14 |
1924 | "On a scale of 1-10 would you say you feel more constricted than last visit?" | 1.3543 | 0.03944 | 223 | 157 | 53 | 13 |
1925 | The good news is that your cancer is in remission. | 1.3542 | 0.03806 | 271 | 197 | 52 | 22 |
1926 | I’m afraid it’s considered a pre-existing condition, Adam. | 1.3542 | 0.03981 | 240 | 173 | 49 | 18 |
1927 | OK... Don’t take a deep breath. | 1.3542 | 0.03892 | 240 | 171 | 53 | 16 |
1928 | So, some good news: you don’t have the flu. | 1.3542 | 0.03981 | 240 | 173 | 49 | 18 |
1929 | You seem to be wound awfully tight. | 1.3542 | 0.04152 | 240 | 177 | 41 | 22 |
1930 | So, tell me what's happened to Eve. | 1.3541 | 0.03991 | 257 | 189 | 45 | 23 |
1931 | I can remove it but it's not covered under your insurance | 1.3541 | 0.03755 | 257 | 183 | 57 | 17 |
1932 | Well now, tightness in your chest could be due to any number of causes! No need to jump to conclusions. | 1.3540 | 0.04105 | 226 | 163 | 46 | 17 |
1933 | I’m writing you a prescription for an emotional support mongoose. | 1.3539 | 0.03989 | 243 | 176 | 48 | 19 |
1934 | Have you traveled out of the country in the past 3 months? | 1.3539 | 0.03859 | 243 | 173 | 54 | 16 |
1935 | Difficulty breathing. Any other symptoms? | 1.3538 | 0.03685 | 260 | 184 | 60 | 16 |
1936 | How was your vacation to the Everglades? | 1.3537 | 0.03874 | 229 | 161 | 55 | 13 |
1937 | Just so you know, our veterinarian specialist is out of network. | 1.3537 | 0.03996 | 246 | 179 | 47 | 20 |
1938 | Hi, so I’d first like to get to know you a bit, then we can talk about why you’re here today. | 1.3537 | 0.04159 | 246 | 183 | 39 | 24 |
1939 | I can give you something, but he looks fine to me. | 1.3535 | 0.03987 | 215 | 151 | 52 | 12 |
1940 | Well, I'm a little concerned about your blood pressure. | 1.3535 | 0.04302 | 215 | 157 | 40 | 18 |
1941 | Oh? Mambacare? | 1.3534 | 0.04255 | 232 | 172 | 38 | 22 |
1942 | Tightness in your chest, labored breathing, elevated heart rate......do you use a lot of salt Mr. McCready? | 1.3534 | 0.04030 | 232 | 167 | 48 | 17 |
1943 | I'm referring you to a herpetologist. I'm not sure what kind of snake that is. | 1.3534 | 0.03837 | 249 | 178 | 54 | 17 |
1944 | Amazon delivery? | 1.3534 | 0.04082 | 249 | 184 | 42 | 23 |
1945 | With this medication, you should no longer need that emotional support pet. | 1.3534 | 0.03781 | 266 | 192 | 54 | 20 |
1946 | Return the mouse and no one gets hurt. | 1.3532 | 0.03947 | 235 | 168 | 51 | 16 |
1947 | Sorry, you need to make a separate appointment for any new issues. Now tell me more about your cough. | 1.3532 | 0.04038 | 235 | 170 | 47 | 18 |
1948 | The good news is it's not the poisonous kind. | 1.3532 | 0.03611 | 235 | 161 | 65 | 9 |
1949 | Take this asp. Print the prescription. Go home and unwind. | 1.3532 | 0.03887 | 252 | 182 | 51 | 19 |
1950 | No, I do understand, but an emotional support snake is not on the approved list | 1.3532 | 0.03968 | 252 | 184 | 47 | 21 |
1951 | Well, I see the snake isn’t working. | 1.3529 | 0.03722 | 272 | 196 | 56 | 20 |
1952 | You better see a pythologist about this." | 1.3529 | 0.03733 | 255 | 181 | 58 | 16 |
1953 | We don’t see this side effect very often. | 1.3529 | 0.03685 | 272 | 195 | 58 | 19 |
1954 | I'm writing you a prescription for mice. | 1.3529 | 0.04002 | 238 | 172 | 48 | 18 |
1955 | Next time just be a bit more careful ordering Monty Python on Amazon. | 1.3529 | 0.03855 | 255 | 184 | 52 | 19 |
1956 | Well, I think I can explain the tightness in your chest that you're feeling... | 1.3529 | 0.03913 | 238 | 170 | 52 | 16 |
1957 | I'm prescribing you change from Cobra to Aetna for better coverage. | 1.3527 | 0.04053 | 258 | 192 | 41 | 25 |
1958 | Well, I think your lifestyle choices are contributing to that tightness you feel in your chest. | 1.3527 | 0.03923 | 241 | 173 | 51 | 17 |
1959 | I'm going to refer you to a specialist. How long can you hold your breath? | 1.3527 | 0.04010 | 241 | 175 | 47 | 19 |
1960 | Well, that explains your weight gain." | 1.3527 | 0.04053 | 241 | 176 | 45 | 20 |
1961 | Before I prescribe this, have you taken rikitikitavidan before? | 1.3527 | 0.04179 | 241 | 179 | 39 | 23 |
1962 | Sheila is my comfort pet. But lately she has become a bit possessive. | 1.3527 | 0.04419 | 207 | 152 | 37 | 18 |
1963 | So sorry for the delay. What seems to be the problem? | 1.3525 | 0.03846 | 244 | 174 | 54 | 16 |
1964 | I’m sorry Mr. Perkins, we don’t accept Mutual of Omaha. | 1.3524 | 0.04230 | 227 | 167 | 40 | 20 |
1965 | Okay. You can go right ahead and put your shirt back on. | 1.3524 | 0.04425 | 210 | 155 | 36 | 19 |
1966 | How are you feeling otherwise? | 1.3523 | 0.03800 | 264 | 191 | 53 | 20 |
1967 | Well, Harry, you did say you wanted an all-natural treatment for constipation” | 1.3523 | 0.03912 | 264 | 194 | 47 | 23 |
1968 | So what’s wrong with Gladys besides being a bit clingy today? | 1.3522 | 0.03856 | 247 | 177 | 53 | 17 |
1969 | You were cutting the grass, and then what happened? | 1.3522 | 0.03957 | 230 | 164 | 51 | 15 |
1970 | Shortness of breath. Anything else? | 1.3522 | 0.03957 | 230 | 164 | 51 | 15 |
1971 | Unfortunately, I’m not much of a charmer. | 1.3522 | 0.03909 | 230 | 163 | 53 | 14 |
1972 | Would you say it's more of a sharp pain or a dull ache? | 1.3521 | 0.03541 | 284 | 202 | 64 | 18 |
1973 | Sir, it is not customary for the pet's owner to disrobe. | 1.3520 | 0.03988 | 250 | 183 | 46 | 21 |
1974 | So, Mr. Naga, what brings you in today? | 1.3520 | 0.03739 | 250 | 177 | 58 | 15 |
1975 | The good news is that your blood pressure's back down where we want it | 1.3520 | 0.03866 | 250 | 180 | 52 | 18 |
1976 | So Mr. Smith, Point to where it hurts. | 1.3519 | 0.03969 | 233 | 167 | 50 | 16 |
1977 | Have you had any other symptoms? | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
1978 | This do-it-yourself gastric band seems to be working for you. You've lost another 50 pounds. | 1.3519 | 0.03969 | 233 | 167 | 50 | 16 |
1979 | Worst case of coilitas I've seen | 1.3519 | 0.04015 | 233 | 168 | 48 | 17 |
1980 | How long have you had trouble breathing? | 1.3518 | 0.03914 | 253 | 184 | 49 | 20 |
1981 | There's a lot of it going around. | 1.3518 | 0.03994 | 253 | 186 | 45 | 22 |
1982 | So, how long have you been hearing this hissing sound? | 1.3518 | 0.03833 | 253 | 182 | 53 | 18 |
1983 | Our tests indicate that you may have picked up a parasite in the Amazon. | 1.3518 | 0.03954 | 253 | 185 | 47 | 21 |
1984 | And have you visited any tropical regions lately? | 1.3518 | 0.03874 | 253 | 183 | 51 | 19 |
1985 | I prescribed snake OIL, not snake COIL | 1.3517 | 0.04285 | 236 | 177 | 35 | 24 |
1986 | Don't worry, Bert is a professional at squeezing the kidney stones right out of you. | 1.3517 | 0.04024 | 236 | 171 | 47 | 18 |
1987 | The good news is that your chest pain isn’t casused by a heart attack. | 1.3516 | 0.03772 | 219 | 151 | 59 | 9 |
1988 | I think we know what’s causing your chest tightness. I’d just like to run a few tests.” | 1.3516 | 0.03998 | 256 | 189 | 44 | 23 |
1989 | It certainly accounts for your high blood pressure. | 1.3516 | 0.03802 | 256 | 184 | 54 | 18 |
1990 | Do you feel any tightness in your chest? | 1.3515 | 0.03988 | 239 | 173 | 48 | 18 |
1991 | Shortness of breath, tightness in the chest--I'm thinking heart attack. | 1.3515 | 0.04075 | 239 | 175 | 44 | 20 |
1992 | I know this is your first”Drag Queen” event, but that’s the wrong Boa! | 1.3515 | 0.04075 | 239 | 175 | 44 | 20 |
1993 | How long have you been hearing a rattle in your chest." | 1.3514 | 0.03718 | 276 | 200 | 55 | 21 |
1994 | 'Good news. Tests show that you don't have a tapeworm.' | 1.3514 | 0.03691 | 259 | 184 | 59 | 16 |
1995 | And aside from some tightness in the chest? | 1.3514 | 0.04002 | 222 | 158 | 50 | 14 |
1996 | Would you say she's your main squeeze? | 1.3514 | 0.03691 | 259 | 184 | 59 | 16 |
1997 | So for how long has this man been bothering you? | 1.3512 | 0.03996 | 242 | 176 | 47 | 19 |
1998 | The good news is that you should feel some constriction for a few more minutes, but then you won't feel anything. | 1.3512 | 0.04123 | 242 | 179 | 41 | 22 |
1999 | We ran out of leeches. | 1.3512 | 0.03996 | 242 | 176 | 47 | 19 |
2000 | Do you have any other symptoms besides the tightness in your chest? | 1.3512 | 0.03910 | 242 | 174 | 51 | 17 |
2001 | There’s a lot of that going around. | 1.3511 | 0.04161 | 225 | 164 | 43 | 18 |
2002 | Shortness of breath??? Are you a smoker? | 1.3509 | 0.03788 | 265 | 192 | 53 | 20 |
2003 | It's quite slow moving, so come back in a month and we'll see how its progressed. | 1.3509 | 0.03979 | 228 | 163 | 50 | 15 |
2004 | Next time, get a dog. | 1.3509 | 0.03979 | 228 | 163 | 50 | 15 |
2005 | You feel a certain tightness in your chest, you say ... | 1.3508 | 0.04010 | 248 | 182 | 45 | 21 |
2006 | Since you're not feeling any pain, let's just wait and see if it goes away. | 1.3506 | 0.04037 | 231 | 167 | 47 | 17 |
2007 | Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm literally prescribing snake oil. | 1.3506 | 0.04084 | 231 | 168 | 45 | 18 |
2008 | Let's start with the good news. We tested for pancreatitis, and it came back negative. | 1.3506 | 0.04037 | 231 | 167 | 47 | 17 |
2009 | You're screwed. | 1.3506 | 0.04175 | 231 | 170 | 41 | 20 |
2010 | So how much Viagra did you take? | 1.3506 | 0.04437 | 231 | 176 | 29 | 26 |
2011 | I'm sorry but, your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. | 1.3506 | 0.04015 | 251 | 185 | 44 | 22 |
2012 | Well you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. | 1.3506 | 0.03727 | 251 | 178 | 58 | 15 |
2013 | Constriction of the chest? Could be a number of things. | 1.3506 | 0.03872 | 271 | 200 | 47 | 24 |
2014 | I'm sorry to have to tell you, but this is indeed a "mortal coil". | 1.3505 | 0.04260 | 214 | 156 | 41 | 17 |
2015 | When did you start feeling short of breath? | 1.3504 | 0.04046 | 234 | 170 | 46 | 18 |
2016 | I have a hunch that a boa constrictor is the cause of your discomfort, but we'll have to run some expensive tests to be sure. | 1.3504 | 0.03738 | 254 | 181 | 57 | 16 |
2017 | I see you've met Caduceus, our new comfort animal. Do me a favor and don't exhale until I get an orderly in here | 1.3504 | 0.03738 | 254 | 181 | 57 | 16 |
2018 | Well, the good news is this time it's not an albatross around your neck | 1.3504 | 0.03861 | 254 | 184 | 51 | 19 |
2019 | There’s something going around. | 1.3504 | 0.03861 | 254 | 184 | 51 | 19 |
2020 | It says here you're complaining of shortness of breath? | 1.3502 | 0.04141 | 237 | 175 | 41 | 21 |
2021 | Has it lasted for more than four hours? | 1.3502 | 0.03869 | 257 | 187 | 50 | 20 |
2022 | On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level right now? | 1.3502 | 0.03829 | 257 | 186 | 52 | 19 |
2023 | Good news-only one of you has a swallowing problem. | 1.3502 | 0.03749 | 257 | 184 | 56 | 17 |
2024 | Well, you consented to the use of unorthodox methods, and according to my clinical experience, this is guaranteed to help you quit smoking cigarettes... | 1.3500 | 0.03840 | 240 | 171 | 54 | 15 |
2025 | I wasn’t sure we could squeeze you in today but, well, you just seemed so wound up when you called... | 1.3500 | 0.04018 | 240 | 175 | 46 | 19 |
2026 | I'm going to put you on a constricted diet. | 1.3500 | 0.03702 | 240 | 168 | 60 | 12 |
2027 | Please just use the patient gown, Mr. Reynolds. | 1.3498 | 0.03882 | 263 | 193 | 48 | 22 |
2028 | Something's going around. | 1.3498 | 0.03852 | 243 | 174 | 53 | 16 |
2029 | Well, I think I know what's caused that tight feeling in your chest." | 1.3498 | 0.03717 | 243 | 171 | 59 | 13 |
2030 | Tell him to take two pills and not to coil you in the morning. | 1.3498 | 0.04191 | 243 | 182 | 37 | 24 |
2031 | You should have gone with the feather one. | 1.3498 | 0.04067 | 243 | 179 | 43 | 21 |
2032 | It’s been going around...and around....and..around. | 1.3498 | 0.03896 | 243 | 175 | 51 | 17 |
2033 | Tightness in your chest, can be a symptom of a more serious condition. | 1.3496 | 0.03700 | 266 | 191 | 57 | 18 |
2034 | This would be easier if you weren’t a member of PETA. | 1.3496 | 0.03850 | 266 | 195 | 49 | 22 |
2035 | It’s recommended that you remove the snake. That should make you feel better. | 1.3496 | 0.03813 | 266 | 194 | 51 | 21 |
2036 | I can see you've been under a lot of pressure, lately | 1.3496 | 0.03738 | 266 | 192 | 55 | 19 |
2037 | The good news is: it's not herpes. But I do recommend you go see a herpetologist. | 1.3496 | 0.04153 | 246 | 184 | 38 | 24 |
2038 | Relax. It's probably just something that ate you. | 1.3496 | 0.03906 | 246 | 178 | 50 | 18 |
2039 | So, can you describe your chest pains? | 1.3496 | 0.03820 | 246 | 176 | 54 | 16 |
2040 | Do you have any tightness in your chest? | 1.3496 | 0.04145 | 226 | 165 | 43 | 18 |
2041 | Says here you were running naked through the jungle, is that correct? | 1.3496 | 0.04049 | 226 | 163 | 47 | 16 |
2042 | Don't search online. It's almost never cancer. | 1.3494 | 0.03746 | 269 | 195 | 54 | 20 |
2043 | So you say you're feeling a little pressure? | 1.3494 | 0.03955 | 249 | 182 | 47 | 20 |
2044 | It says here that you've been complaining about some tightness in your chest, correct? | 1.3494 | 0.03914 | 249 | 181 | 49 | 19 |
2045 | We'll be more certain once the test results come in. | 1.3494 | 0.04116 | 249 | 186 | 39 | 24 |
2046 | Bad case of reptile malfunction. | 1.3493 | 0.04153 | 229 | 168 | 42 | 19 |
2047 | It may feel uncomfortable at first, but we're committed to this new natural way of taking blood pressure. | 1.3493 | 0.04153 | 229 | 168 | 42 | 19 |
2048 | So how long have you had this shortness of breath? | 1.3493 | 0.04244 | 229 | 170 | 38 | 21 |
2049 | It looks like we'll have to delay your colonoscopy. | 1.3493 | 0.04244 | 229 | 170 | 38 | 21 |
2050 | I strongly suggest you take precautions during mating season | 1.3492 | 0.04041 | 252 | 187 | 42 | 23 |
2051 | I recommend that you switch to a feather boa. | 1.3492 | 0.03757 | 252 | 180 | 56 | 16 |
2052 | Yeah, it's been going around a lot of people lately. | 1.3492 | 0.03921 | 252 | 184 | 48 | 20 |
2053 | It says here you are in a phobia treatment program. | 1.3491 | 0.04023 | 232 | 168 | 47 | 17 |
2054 | And then I want you to put on the gown so that it's open in the back. | 1.3491 | 0.04114 | 232 | 170 | 43 | 19 |
2055 | Ok, good news first. I think we know what is causing your sleep apnea. | 1.3490 | 0.03726 | 255 | 182 | 57 | 16 |
2056 | If you could just slip out of that I'll take a look. | 1.3490 | 0.03513 | 255 | 177 | 67 | 11 |
2057 | Take the diazepam tonight and the mongoose in the morning. | 1.3489 | 0.03894 | 235 | 168 | 52 | 15 |
2058 | This is the one case where snake oil will help | 1.3489 | 0.03941 | 235 | 169 | 50 | 16 |
2059 | And what’s the last thing you remember after you took the Ambien? | 1.3489 | 0.04077 | 235 | 172 | 44 | 19 |
2060 | I'm prescribing a mild sedative for your pet python's separation anxiety. | 1.3488 | 0.03856 | 258 | 188 | 50 | 20 |
2061 | I see here that you have a complaint of tightness in your chest? | 1.3487 | 0.03860 | 238 | 170 | 53 | 15 |
2062 | Any known allergy to mongooses, Mr. Williams? | 1.3487 | 0.03996 | 238 | 173 | 47 | 18 |
2063 | Any difficulty breathing? | 1.3487 | 0.04083 | 238 | 175 | 43 | 20 |
2064 | Sorry, your insurance only covers snake bites | 1.3487 | 0.04254 | 238 | 179 | 35 | 24 |
2065 | Well Mr Tiles I can do your procedure your still covered under Cobra | 1.3487 | 0.03747 | 261 | 188 | 55 | 18 |
2066 | Fortunately, your test results show that it is a python, not an anaconda. | 1.3487 | 0.03786 | 261 | 189 | 53 | 19 |
2067 | Constricted breath, difficulty exercising, sudden hissing. My diagnosis is asthma. | 1.3487 | 0.03901 | 261 | 192 | 47 | 22 |
2068 | pressure getting to you? | 1.3487 | 0.03707 | 261 | 187 | 57 | 17 |
2069 | Thanks for squeezing me in Doc. | 1.3486 | 0.04350 | 218 | 162 | 36 | 20 |
2070 | Yes, an inability to touch one's toes is of some concern, but I don't think you're seeing the entire picture, Mr. Smith. | 1.3485 | 0.04004 | 241 | 176 | 46 | 19 |
2071 | Well, yes, I did say to wear a compression garment after your liposuction...... | 1.3485 | 0.03872 | 241 | 173 | 52 | 16 |
2072 | So everything's fine aside from that? | 1.3485 | 0.03827 | 241 | 172 | 54 | 15 |
2073 | I think it's time to consider a less restrictive weight loss program. | 1.3484 | 0.03839 | 244 | 175 | 53 | 16 |
2074 | Good thing it already ate. | 1.3484 | 0.03926 | 244 | 177 | 49 | 18 |
2075 | I'm thinking this concludes our little experiment with homeopathy. | 1.3484 | 0.03969 | 244 | 178 | 47 | 19 |
2076 | Other than the strep throat was there any other problem you wanted to discuss? | 1.3483 | 0.03838 | 267 | 196 | 49 | 22 |
2077 | Think of it as a comfort animal. | 1.3482 | 0.03819 | 224 | 157 | 56 | 11 |
2078 | I'm sorry Mr. Jones, your insurance wouldn't cover the back brace, so this was the best that we could do. | 1.3480 | 0.04292 | 204 | 148 | 41 | 15 |
2079 | When did you start feeling this tightness in your chest? | 1.3480 | 0.04035 | 227 | 164 | 47 | 16 |
2080 | And what brings you in here today, Mr. Smith? | 1.3480 | 0.04035 | 227 | 164 | 47 | 16 |
2081 | You say it came on right after you bit from the apple? | 1.3480 | 0.03901 | 250 | 182 | 49 | 19 |
2082 | I’m referring you to a great couples therapist I know. | 1.3480 | 0.03942 | 250 | 183 | 47 | 20 |
2083 | Do you want me to pull it off fast or slow? | 1.3480 | 0.03632 | 273 | 196 | 59 | 18 |
2084 | The generic snake oil works just as well. | 1.3478 | 0.04183 | 230 | 170 | 40 | 20 |
2085 | Symptoms include shortness of breath, overall joint pain and paranoia. Anything else? | 1.3478 | 0.03908 | 253 | 185 | 48 | 20 |
2086 | I recommend you take a couple days off, get away to someplace nice, and try to unwind. | 1.3478 | 0.03998 | 230 | 166 | 48 | 16 |
2087 | I did tell you there might be side effects... | 1.3478 | 0.04228 | 230 | 171 | 38 | 21 |
2088 | I'd follow her lead and just eat the apple next time, Adam. | 1.3478 | 0.03908 | 253 | 185 | 48 | 20 |
2089 | I’ll need him to turn his head and slough. | 1.3478 | 0.03998 | 230 | 166 | 48 | 16 |
2090 | Well, I don’t think it’s ringworm | 1.3477 | 0.03505 | 279 | 198 | 65 | 16 |
2091 | That’s OK. We can take your pulse at your ankle. | 1.3477 | 0.03714 | 256 | 183 | 57 | 16 |
2092 | So, for 'emergency contact' - your wife or your main squeeze? | 1.3476 | 0.03962 | 233 | 168 | 49 | 16 |
2093 | After looking at your MRI, I think we’ve finally identified what’s causing that tightness in your chest. | 1.3476 | 0.04054 | 233 | 170 | 45 | 18 |
2094 | Yeah. I've been up for 72 hours. Just tell me your problem. | 1.3476 | 0.04008 | 233 | 169 | 47 | 17 |
2095 | This feeling of being suffocated might not just be in your head. | 1.3476 | 0.04189 | 233 | 173 | 39 | 21 |
2096 | I'm glad you stopped smoking, but I still hear a little rattle in your chest | 1.3476 | 0.03962 | 233 | 168 | 49 | 16 |
2097 | Sorry Howard, since Trump took office millions of swamp creatures have been coming out of hiding and heading for DC. | 1.3476 | 0.03962 | 233 | 168 | 49 | 16 |
2098 | So, you’re having difficulty swallowing... | 1.3475 | 0.03882 | 259 | 190 | 48 | 21 |
2099 | In time, you'll forget you even have a gastric band. | 1.3475 | 0.03972 | 236 | 171 | 48 | 17 |
2100 | When did you notice breathing difficulties? | 1.3473 | 0.03851 | 262 | 192 | 49 | 21 |
2101 | And then Eve just dropped the apple and ran. | 1.3473 | 0.03926 | 262 | 194 | 45 | 23 |
2102 | Take a deep breath for me | 1.3473 | 0.04112 | 239 | 177 | 41 | 21 |
2103 | We're going to need to run some tests. | 1.3473 | 0.03982 | 239 | 174 | 47 | 18 |
2104 | Unfortunately, this will not stay in Vegas. | 1.3473 | 0.04361 | 239 | 183 | 29 | 27 |
2105 | Shortness of breath and wheezing. Okay, I'm gonna run some tests. | 1.3471 | 0.04158 | 242 | 181 | 38 | 23 |
2106 | This prescription for your reptile dysfunction might lead to muscle ache. Are you okay with that? | 1.3471 | 0.03947 | 242 | 176 | 48 | 18 |
2107 | I have a better solution for your constipation | 1.3471 | 0.04033 | 242 | 178 | 44 | 20 |
2108 | I'm sorry sir, but the side effects were clearly stated in the television commercial. | 1.3471 | 0.03990 | 242 | 177 | 46 | 19 |
2109 | Henry, when my nurse asked you to bring in your cobra details, I don’t think she had this in mind! | 1.3468 | 0.03943 | 222 | 158 | 51 | 13 |
2110 | I wish I could help you but this is a pre-existing condition. | 1.3468 | 0.03891 | 222 | 157 | 53 | 12 |
2111 | I’m sorry, but without a referral from the vet... | 1.3468 | 0.03879 | 248 | 180 | 50 | 18 |
2112 | It seems you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. | 1.3468 | 0.03707 | 248 | 176 | 58 | 14 |
2113 | I’m putting you on a constricted diet. | 1.3468 | 0.03618 | 248 | 174 | 62 | 12 |
2114 | Good news, Mr Jones...all the tests came back negative." | 1.3468 | 0.03837 | 248 | 179 | 52 | 17 |
2115 | How do you spell Eve? | 1.3467 | 0.03730 | 274 | 200 | 53 | 21 |
2116 | It's not your colon. | 1.3467 | 0.03766 | 274 | 201 | 51 | 22 |
2117 | Springtime in the everglades, my busiest time of the year. | 1.3467 | 0.03958 | 225 | 161 | 50 | 14 |
2118 | The good news is we can remove the mole on your cheek! | 1.3467 | 0.03958 | 225 | 161 | 50 | 14 |
2119 | Contact in case of emergency? | 1.3466 | 0.04048 | 251 | 187 | 41 | 23 |
2120 | So you weren't lying when you told me about your 'ereptile' dysfunction. | 1.3466 | 0.03847 | 251 | 182 | 51 | 18 |
2121 | So tell me, when did you first notice the constriction" | 1.3466 | 0.03720 | 251 | 179 | 57 | 15 |
2122 | So you had no idea your emotional support animal was afraid of flying? | 1.3466 | 0.04048 | 251 | 187 | 41 | 23 |
2123 | Now, I've got to ask this : have you been travelling ? | 1.3465 | 0.03922 | 228 | 163 | 51 | 14 |
2124 | Good news - you're not dying from cancer! | 1.3465 | 0.04115 | 228 | 167 | 43 | 18 |
2125 | Sir, I believe the nurse asked you to put on the gown. | 1.3465 | 0.03895 | 254 | 186 | 48 | 20 |
2126 | Not as charming as you thought, ey? | 1.3465 | 0.03774 | 254 | 183 | 54 | 17 |
2127 | How soon after you ate the apple did the pain occur? | 1.3463 | 0.04030 | 231 | 168 | 46 | 17 |
2128 | So Monte, when did you first notice the python? | 1.3463 | 0.04077 | 231 | 169 | 44 | 18 |
2129 | I have concluded your shortage of breath is not caused by any internal problem. | 1.3463 | 0.03619 | 257 | 182 | 61 | 14 |
2130 | How long have you been together? | 1.3463 | 0.03702 | 257 | 184 | 57 | 16 |
2131 | So you say you are feeling some tightness in your chest? | 1.3462 | 0.04129 | 234 | 173 | 41 | 20 |
2132 | Let's have you try the extended release capsule. | 1.3462 | 0.03757 | 234 | 165 | 57 | 12 |
2133 | Well sir, I have some crushing news. | 1.3462 | 0.03901 | 234 | 168 | 51 | 15 |
2134 | And also on a scale of 1 to 10, how difficult would you say it is to breathe? | 1.3462 | 0.03831 | 260 | 190 | 50 | 20 |
2135 | Looks like your coverage is good. | 1.3460 | 0.03658 | 289 | 212 | 54 | 23 |
2136 | Your penile enlargement procedure with snake stem cells went extremely well, now we just have to do little trimming | 1.3460 | 0.04178 | 237 | 177 | 38 | 22 |
2137 | Where does it hurt? | 1.3460 | 0.03958 | 237 | 172 | 48 | 17 |
2138 | First of all, don't exhale. | 1.3460 | 0.03867 | 237 | 170 | 52 | 15 |
2139 | It’s gonna take some time to unravel what’s bothering you. | 1.3460 | 0.03958 | 237 | 172 | 48 | 17 |
2140 | I think I've identified your respiratory problem. | 1.3460 | 0.03913 | 237 | 171 | 50 | 16 |
2141 | We can deal with the constrictions but those pale white legs are worrying me. | 1.3460 | 0.03958 | 237 | 172 | 48 | 17 |
2142 | I need you to stand up, touch your toes and cough. | 1.3460 | 0.04047 | 237 | 174 | 44 | 19 |
2143 | The good news is I've isolated the cause of your constricted breathing. | 1.3460 | 0.03913 | 237 | 171 | 50 | 16 |
2144 | You might want to consider getting a different type of therapy animal. | 1.3459 | 0.03881 | 266 | 197 | 46 | 23 |
2145 | So, trouble breathing, a tightness in your chest and abdomen. Anything else? | 1.3458 | 0.03968 | 240 | 175 | 47 | 18 |
2146 | Take two of these at bedtime, and try not to look delicious. | 1.3458 | 0.03986 | 214 | 152 | 50 | 12 |
2147 | First of all, we need to remove that mouse tattoo from your chest. | 1.3457 | 0.03814 | 269 | 198 | 49 | 22 |
2148 | Your insurance no longer covers emotional support reptiles. | 1.3457 | 0.03890 | 243 | 176 | 50 | 17 |
2149 | So its a yes to “been to places where large snakes are common”. | 1.3456 | 0.04002 | 217 | 155 | 49 | 13 |
2150 | I am prescribing myself an anti-psychotic as I appear to be having an hallucination. | 1.3455 | 0.03856 | 246 | 178 | 51 | 17 |
2151 | I've only seen one previous case and it didn't end well. | 1.3455 | 0.03725 | 246 | 175 | 57 | 14 |
2152 | And what might be the problem today? | 1.3455 | 0.03769 | 246 | 176 | 55 | 15 |
2153 | Besides this, how was your Costa Rica ziplining experience? | 1.3455 | 0.03941 | 246 | 180 | 47 | 19 |
2154 | "Have you recently traveled abroad? | 1.3455 | 0.04169 | 220 | 161 | 42 | 17 |
2155 | Good news. The snake is not venomous. | 1.3455 | 0.03912 | 220 | 156 | 52 | 12 |
2156 | Do you have a family history of constriction?" | 1.3455 | 0.03646 | 275 | 199 | 57 | 19 |
2157 | On the bright side, it’s not poisonous, | 1.3454 | 0.03738 | 249 | 178 | 56 | 15 |
2158 | Relax, we wait until he realizes you’re too big to swallow | 1.3454 | 0.03781 | 249 | 179 | 54 | 16 |
2159 | Any tightness around your chest area? | 1.3454 | 0.03866 | 249 | 181 | 50 | 18 |
2160 | What concerns me is that it didn't show up on your last colonoscopy | 1.3453 | 0.04226 | 223 | 165 | 39 | 19 |
2161 | Sure I've seen this before. Just not with that kind of snake. | 1.3453 | 0.03929 | 223 | 159 | 51 | 13 |
2162 | And when did you first notice the feeling of constriction? | 1.3452 | 0.03915 | 252 | 185 | 47 | 20 |
2163 | Either of you allergic to muscle relaxers? | 1.3452 | 0.03750 | 252 | 181 | 55 | 16 |
2164 | Yes, tightness in the chest...what other symptoms? | 1.3451 | 0.04090 | 226 | 165 | 44 | 17 |
2165 | So how have your bowel movements been? | 1.3451 | 0.03882 | 255 | 187 | 48 | 20 |
2166 | To be on the safe side, I'm ordering an angiogram—a tightness in the chest can never be ignored. | 1.3450 | 0.04192 | 229 | 170 | 39 | 20 |
2167 | Are you sure this was consensual? | 1.3450 | 0.03771 | 258 | 187 | 53 | 18 |
2168 | When did she develop this crush on you? | 1.3450 | 0.03771 | 258 | 187 | 53 | 18 |
2169 | Breathe normally | 1.3449 | 0.03608 | 287 | 209 | 57 | 21 |
2170 | I’ll have to order some tests, of course, but I think you may be being strangled by a python. | 1.3448 | 0.03857 | 261 | 192 | 48 | 21 |
2171 | I’ll prescribe a lotion for that scaly skin. Any other changes since your last visit? | 1.3448 | 0.03857 | 261 | 192 | 48 | 21 |
2172 | Keep it wrapped two more days. | 1.3448 | 0.03780 | 261 | 190 | 52 | 19 |
2173 | I don't want you to be rattled. | 1.3448 | 0.03857 | 261 | 192 | 48 | 21 |
2174 | Of course we’ll have to do some tests, but I have an idea what the problem might be | 1.3447 | 0.03979 | 235 | 171 | 47 | 17 |
2175 | We're waiting for a second opinion from your vet. | 1.3445 | 0.03760 | 238 | 169 | 56 | 13 |
2176 | Any family history of poisonous snakes wrapped around the torso? | 1.3445 | 0.04479 | 209 | 157 | 32 | 20 |
2177 | Snake oil is snake oil, whether you buy it bottled or harvest it yourself. | 1.3444 | 0.03802 | 270 | 199 | 49 | 22 |
2178 | Bob, you've just got to learn to unwind. | 1.3444 | 0.03578 | 270 | 193 | 61 | 16 |
2179 | Would you mind filling out a short survey about your visit today? | 1.3444 | 0.03910 | 241 | 175 | 49 | 17 |
2180 | First, a few questions. What seems to be your problem? | 1.3444 | 0.04040 | 241 | 178 | 43 | 20 |
2181 | Have you been on a plane recently? | 1.3444 | 0.04083 | 241 | 179 | 41 | 21 |
2182 | I can't confirm what's causing your shortness of breath until I get the MRI results. | 1.3443 | 0.03772 | 273 | 201 | 50 | 22 |
2183 | The good news is that your trouble breathing is not asthma. | 1.3443 | 0.03788 | 244 | 175 | 54 | 15 |
2184 | The prognosis gives you another three minutes. | 1.3443 | 0.03919 | 244 | 178 | 48 | 18 |
2185 | Your insurance won’t cover removal. The South American boa constrictor is out of network. | 1.3443 | 0.04046 | 244 | 181 | 42 | 21 |
2186 | I see why you would think that, but we will need to see the test results in a few days. | 1.3442 | 0.03671 | 276 | 201 | 55 | 20 |
2187 | Snake oil, but your insurance won't cover it. | 1.3442 | 0.04131 | 215 | 156 | 44 | 15 |
2188 | Believe it or not, I'm going to write you a script for snake oil. | 1.3442 | 0.04184 | 215 | 157 | 42 | 16 |
2189 | It's cheaper just to let nature take it's course. | 1.3441 | 0.03800 | 247 | 178 | 53 | 16 |
2190 | On the plus side, your cholesterol is down. | 1.3441 | 0.03679 | 279 | 204 | 54 | 21 |
2191 | Yes I did remove an unwanted mole for your brother, but I think you may have misunderstood | 1.3440 | 0.04092 | 218 | 158 | 45 | 15 |
2192 | On a scale of 1-10 how hard is he squeezing? | 1.3440 | 0.03811 | 250 | 181 | 52 | 17 |
2193 | I'm going to need to run some tests... | 1.3439 | 0.04347 | 221 | 166 | 34 | 21 |
2194 | Can you point to where you're feeling the pressure? | 1.3439 | 0.03738 | 253 | 182 | 55 | 16 |
2195 | The good news is the x-rays show he's eaten recently, so come back in about a week and we'll take another look. | 1.3439 | 0.03821 | 253 | 184 | 51 | 18 |
2196 | It's not the coil I meant for birth control but who am I to argue with what works. | 1.3439 | 0.03862 | 253 | 185 | 49 | 19 |
2197 | Do you have any constrictions I should know about? | 1.3438 | 0.03914 | 224 | 160 | 51 | 13 |
2198 | This delusion you say you have about snakes. Can you elaborate? | 1.3438 | 0.04114 | 224 | 164 | 43 | 17 |
2199 | You say he's not eating? | 1.3438 | 0.04065 | 224 | 163 | 45 | 16 |
2200 | Just be happy you didn't have to see the proctologist for this. | 1.3438 | 0.03870 | 256 | 188 | 48 | 20 |
2201 | Can you sign this release form? | 1.3436 | 0.03838 | 259 | 190 | 49 | 20 |
2202 | Are you having any other breathing problems | 1.3436 | 0.04262 | 227 | 170 | 36 | 21 |
2203 | Tylenol 3s for you, and a wart hog for your friend. | 1.3435 | 0.03689 | 262 | 189 | 56 | 17 |
2204 | No exceptions. I need the insurance card first. | 1.3435 | 0.03768 | 262 | 191 | 52 | 19 |
2205 | I understand you feel some tightness. | 1.3435 | 0.03650 | 262 | 188 | 58 | 16 |
2206 | My advice? That you forget about Fifi and let pythons be pythons. | 1.3435 | 0.03768 | 262 | 191 | 52 | 19 |
2207 | We are all wrapped up here, just go home and unwind. | 1.3435 | 0.03768 | 262 | 191 | 52 | 19 |
2208 | Your pressure and heart rate seem elevated. Is anything causing you stress? | 1.3435 | 0.04084 | 230 | 169 | 43 | 18 |
2209 | The good news is your erectile dysfunction has resolved itself. | 1.3435 | 0.04311 | 230 | 174 | 33 | 23 |
2210 | Unfortunately, according to your policy, this falls under pre-existing condition | 1.3435 | 0.03894 | 230 | 165 | 51 | 14 |
2211 | Will your friend also be getting the flu shot today? | 1.3435 | 0.04038 | 230 | 168 | 45 | 17 |
2212 | Switch to a feather version and your chest pain should clear right up. | 1.3435 | 0.03990 | 230 | 167 | 47 | 16 |
2213 | What goes around, comes around. | 1.3435 | 0.04131 | 230 | 170 | 41 | 19 |
2214 | Lets see what the lab and x-rays show. | 1.3434 | 0.03961 | 265 | 199 | 41 | 25 |
2215 | These attachment disorders can be tricky. | 1.3433 | 0.03763 | 233 | 165 | 56 | 12 |
2216 | I'm going to give you a subscription for a small deer. | 1.3433 | 0.04182 | 233 | 174 | 38 | 21 |
2217 | Okay, I will note in the chart you have 'killer abs'. | 1.3432 | 0.03919 | 236 | 171 | 49 | 16 |
2218 | It's the original pre-existing condition. | 1.3432 | 0.03753 | 271 | 199 | 51 | 21 |
2219 | And we’ll get you some lotion for those scales. | 1.3431 | 0.03652 | 239 | 168 | 60 | 11 |
2220 | They’re just having some fun with you at the gastroenterology clinic. This isn’t the colonoscopy snake. | 1.3431 | 0.03840 | 239 | 172 | 52 | 15 |
2221 | You might experience some tightness when swallowing. | 1.3431 | 0.03840 | 239 | 172 | 52 | 15 |
2222 | We may have to perform a Coilonoscopy. | 1.3431 | 0.04019 | 239 | 176 | 44 | 19 |
2223 | So for the first two weeks you just assumed it was your mother? | 1.3430 | 0.04026 | 242 | 179 | 43 | 20 |
2224 | And when did the tightness begin? | 1.3430 | 0.03940 | 242 | 177 | 47 | 18 |
2225 | Let's see, yup... you're covered for the removal, but not for the disposal. | 1.3429 | 0.03775 | 245 | 176 | 54 | 15 |
2226 | My diagnosis , " you are a riddle , inside an enigma , wrapped in a python ". | 1.3429 | 0.03597 | 280 | 203 | 58 | 19 |
2227 | Stop wearing the Boa . It’s much too constricting . | 1.3429 | 0.04197 | 210 | 153 | 42 | 15 |
2228 | Come back and see me in two weeks if things don’t loosen up | 1.3429 | 0.03451 | 245 | 169 | 68 | 8 |
2229 | It's the new treatment for constipation... | 1.3429 | 0.03991 | 245 | 181 | 44 | 20 |
2230 | Take two vermin and see me in a week. | 1.3427 | 0.03830 | 248 | 180 | 51 | 17 |
2231 | Is it a choking sensation or just a tightness in the chest? | 1.3427 | 0.03915 | 248 | 182 | 47 | 19 |
2232 | You’re suffering from constrictive heart failure | 1.3427 | 0.03787 | 248 | 179 | 53 | 16 |
2233 | Have you traveled abroad lately? | 1.3427 | 0.04038 | 248 | 185 | 41 | 22 |
2234 | Give him three mice daily and pray that he molts you soon. | 1.3426 | 0.03881 | 251 | 184 | 48 | 19 |
2235 | Bella, I told you not to hug the patients without their consent! | 1.3426 | 0.03922 | 251 | 185 | 46 | 20 |
2236 | On the other hand, a squeezing feeling in the chest is often the first symptom of a heart attack. | 1.3425 | 0.03889 | 254 | 187 | 47 | 20 |
2237 | All of your test results are finally back and I think I have pinpointed the cause of your tightness of the chest. | 1.3425 | 0.03889 | 254 | 187 | 47 | 20 |
2238 | It DOES appear to be a snake, alright. The Herpetologist can see you next Thursday... | 1.3425 | 0.03929 | 254 | 188 | 45 | 21 |
2239 | This is why Lady Gaga went with the meat dress. | 1.3424 | 0.03896 | 257 | 190 | 46 | 21 |
2240 | And you say it only hurts when you breathe?" | 1.3424 | 0.03817 | 257 | 188 | 50 | 19 |
2241 | I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant. | 1.3424 | 0.03737 | 257 | 186 | 54 | 17 |
2242 | Have you recently traveled to any tropical countries? | 1.3424 | 0.03777 | 257 | 187 | 52 | 18 |
2243 | and...have you traveled to any foreign countries lately? | 1.3424 | 0.03777 | 257 | 187 | 52 | 18 |
2244 | I’m going to write you a prescription for flute lessons. | 1.3424 | 0.03777 | 257 | 187 | 52 | 18 |
2245 | What about shortness of breath? | 1.3423 | 0.03786 | 260 | 190 | 51 | 19 |
2246 | Lots of men recoil before the prostate exam. | 1.3423 | 0.03940 | 260 | 194 | 43 | 23 |
2247 | You’re sure? No feeling of tightness in your chest? | 1.3422 | 0.03900 | 225 | 161 | 51 | 13 |
2248 | Seems like you're under a lot of pressure. Just take some time off to unwind. | 1.3422 | 0.03557 | 263 | 187 | 62 | 14 |
2249 | Let me guess. You’re boarding a plane soon, you can’t get the snake off you, so you want a prescription for an emotional-support animal. | 1.3422 | 0.03870 | 263 | 195 | 46 | 22 |
2250 | There’s nothing wrong with you medically. If it bites you, be sure to come right back. | 1.3421 | 0.04200 | 228 | 170 | 38 | 20 |
2251 | If we aren’t seeing results by next month another option could be the lap-band. | 1.3421 | 0.03964 | 228 | 165 | 48 | 15 |
2252 | Have you two always been this tight? | 1.3421 | 0.03726 | 266 | 194 | 53 | 19 |
2253 | I'm not sure if it's a boa or a python. I'm going to go ahead and send you to a herpetologist. | 1.3420 | 0.04161 | 231 | 172 | 39 | 20 |
2254 | Your blood pressure isn’t where I’d like it to be. | 1.3420 | 0.03976 | 231 | 168 | 47 | 16 |
2255 | You’ll need to see if your insurance covers the mongoose. | 1.3420 | 0.03831 | 231 | 165 | 53 | 13 |
2256 | And I'm giving you some time off so you can unwind a bit | 1.3420 | 0.03880 | 231 | 166 | 51 | 14 |
2257 | I see he’s your main squeeze. Any other partners? | 1.3420 | 0.03880 | 231 | 166 | 51 | 14 |
2258 | This is actually one of the oldest constipation remedies on the books. | 1.3419 | 0.04122 | 234 | 174 | 40 | 20 |
2259 | Yes, this is fairly common from an emotional support animal. | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
2260 | And how is Eve doing? I haven't seen her in a while. | 1.3419 | 0.03893 | 234 | 169 | 50 | 15 |
2261 | Never thought I’d be prescribing snake oil! | 1.3419 | 0.03987 | 234 | 171 | 46 | 17 |
2262 | The good news is that it's not asthma or COPD. | 1.3418 | 0.03718 | 237 | 168 | 57 | 12 |
2263 | One side effect is you wind up looking like a poop emoji with legs | 1.3418 | 0.03996 | 237 | 174 | 45 | 18 |
2264 | Abdominal pain, shortness of breath. I have a couple of theories. | 1.3418 | 0.03996 | 237 | 174 | 45 | 18 |
2265 | Ordinarily, a tapeworm is diagnosed well before this stage. | 1.3418 | 0.03860 | 237 | 171 | 51 | 15 |
2266 | We'll skip the 'turn your head and cough' thing this year, OK? | 1.3418 | 0.03906 | 237 | 172 | 49 | 16 |
2267 | I'm not sure you're covered. | 1.3418 | 0.03718 | 237 | 168 | 57 | 12 |
2268 | Other then "constricted breathing" have you experienced any other symptoms? | 1.3417 | 0.03781 | 240 | 172 | 54 | 14 |
2269 | So you say you're having some tightness in the chest? | 1.3417 | 0.03826 | 240 | 173 | 52 | 15 |
2270 | A couple of mice a day and your constriction should go away | 1.3417 | 0.03640 | 240 | 169 | 60 | 11 |
2271 | You say you're being terminated. Have you considered getting COBRA? | 1.3417 | 0.04091 | 240 | 179 | 40 | 21 |
2272 | Sorry, but I still have to rule out a prostate problem. | 1.3416 | 0.03883 | 243 | 177 | 49 | 17 |
2273 | Tightness of the chest, neck, back, and arms as well as fatigue and anxiety... classic symptoms of a heart attack. | 1.3416 | 0.03749 | 243 | 174 | 55 | 14 |
2274 | If it was a snake it would have bit you | 1.3416 | 0.04096 | 243 | 182 | 39 | 22 |
2275 | It appears you caught this on your recent trip to the Amazon rain forest | 1.3416 | 0.03969 | 243 | 179 | 45 | 19 |
2276 | Insurance makes us fill these out. Question 1: What are your symptoms? | 1.3416 | 0.03883 | 243 | 177 | 49 | 17 |
2277 | So you’re from Florida? | 1.3416 | 0.03926 | 243 | 178 | 47 | 18 |
2278 | So, would you say the new therapy boa is alleviating or exacerbating your anxiety? | 1.3415 | 0.03850 | 246 | 179 | 50 | 17 |
2279 | Heart rate and cholesterol levels are fine. Any tension at home or on the job that might be causing this pressure? | 1.3415 | 0.03850 | 246 | 179 | 50 | 17 |
2280 | I took an oath, Mr. Curran: First, do no charm. | 1.3414 | 0.03901 | 249 | 183 | 47 | 19 |
2281 | I'm putting you on adderall | 1.3414 | 0.03983 | 249 | 185 | 43 | 21 |
2282 | I can give him some Valium for now, but he really needs anger management. | 1.3414 | 0.03817 | 249 | 181 | 51 | 17 |
2283 | Oh, it's a surprisingly common mistake, but I'm a HEPatologist not a HERPetologist | 1.3414 | 0.03731 | 249 | 179 | 55 | 15 |
2284 | I’m going to try you on snake oil. | 1.3413 | 0.03949 | 252 | 187 | 44 | 21 |
2285 | So your tests are back and I think we know what's causing the elevated blood pressure. | 1.3413 | 0.03526 | 252 | 177 | 64 | 11 |
2286 | Give her a muscle relaxer twice a day and maybe she won't be so clingy. | 1.3413 | 0.03786 | 252 | 183 | 52 | 17 |
2287 | Your blood pressure's a little high, but otherwise, I see no problem. | 1.3413 | 0.03827 | 252 | 184 | 50 | 18 |
2288 | Yes, you can keep the python on in the shower. | 1.3412 | 0.04234 | 211 | 155 | 40 | 16 |
2289 | You should have specified a "feather" boa. | 1.3412 | 0.03672 | 255 | 183 | 57 | 15 |
2290 | Everyone will feel better if you'd just learn to unwind. | 1.3412 | 0.03755 | 255 | 185 | 53 | 17 |
2291 | Whatever you googled i’m telling you it’s a sore throat. | 1.3410 | 0.04151 | 217 | 159 | 42 | 16 |
2292 | As your veterinarian I wouldn't worry about your python. When you leave here I suggest you visit your doctor ASAP. | 1.3410 | 0.03851 | 261 | 193 | 47 | 21 |
2293 | So if I understand you correctly, you were wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt? | 1.3409 | 0.03627 | 264 | 190 | 58 | 16 |
2294 | I don't think your insurance covers this. | 1.3409 | 0.03782 | 264 | 194 | 50 | 20 |
2295 | Everything looks fine physically, but you appear to have attachment issues with your pet. | 1.3409 | 0.04111 | 220 | 161 | 43 | 16 |
2296 | This procedure will empty your bowel in no time and reduce your waist size by up to 5 inches. | 1.3408 | 0.03676 | 267 | 194 | 55 | 18 |
2297 | My prescription is to to have a rat tossed in front of him. Then run like like hell the other way> | 1.3408 | 0.03863 | 267 | 199 | 45 | 23 |
2298 | The x-rays do show some minor constriction. | 1.3407 | 0.03494 | 270 | 192 | 64 | 14 |
2299 | I'm prescribing you Adderrall. | 1.3407 | 0.03832 | 270 | 201 | 46 | 23 |
2300 | Emergency Contact? | 1.3407 | 0.03885 | 226 | 162 | 51 | 13 |
2301 | How long have you had this numbness in your feet? | 1.3407 | 0.03834 | 226 | 161 | 53 | 12 |
2302 | I’m very sorry, sir, but your insurance company doesn’t consider the removal medically necessary. | 1.3406 | 0.03949 | 229 | 166 | 48 | 15 |
2303 | Your relationship with the snake ... symbiotic or adversarial? | 1.3406 | 0.03737 | 276 | 204 | 50 | 22 |
2304 | Tightening in the chest, huh? OK, take off your snake and we'll have a look. | 1.3405 | 0.04054 | 232 | 171 | 43 | 18 |
2305 | Wheezing, chest pressure, anxiety. I’m going with the most obvious: asthma. | 1.3405 | 0.04322 | 232 | 177 | 31 | 24 |
2306 | Please state your reason for visiting the office today." | 1.3405 | 0.03961 | 232 | 169 | 47 | 16 |
2307 | Well, we'll need some snake oil to get you out of this. | 1.3404 | 0.03832 | 235 | 169 | 52 | 14 |
2308 | I’m sorry, but without his consent my hands are tied. | 1.3404 | 0.03926 | 235 | 171 | 48 | 16 |
2309 | Don’t worry, you’ll shed it in 3-5 days. | 1.3404 | 0.03972 | 235 | 172 | 46 | 17 |
2310 | Yes, I can certainly certify him as a comfort cobra. | 1.3404 | 0.04063 | 235 | 174 | 42 | 19 |
2311 | Yes it's somewhat rare, but it is listed by the manufacturer as a possible side effect." | 1.3404 | 0.03576 | 282 | 205 | 58 | 19 |
2312 | When did you start having trouble breathing? | 1.3404 | 0.03880 | 235 | 170 | 50 | 15 |
2313 | So you would say your breathing feels constricted? | 1.3403 | 0.03705 | 238 | 169 | 57 | 12 |
2314 | I see your weight shot up 30 pounds since your last check up. Has something changed in your daily routine, Mr. Humphries? | 1.3403 | 0.04026 | 238 | 176 | 43 | 19 |
2315 | I think I can remove it. If not, I’ll waive the co-pay. | 1.3403 | 0.03800 | 238 | 171 | 53 | 14 |
2316 | It's all fun and games Adam, until someone gets hurt | 1.3402 | 0.04076 | 241 | 180 | 40 | 21 |
2317 | Mr. Moskowitz , we’ll slide you right out when it’s finished digesting Mrs. Moskowitz. | 1.3402 | 0.04076 | 241 | 180 | 40 | 21 |
2318 | Well, new pets do tend, as a rule, to be a bit clingy. | 1.3402 | 0.03768 | 241 | 173 | 54 | 14 |
2319 | I said to RESTRICT your diet. | 1.3402 | 0.03768 | 241 | 173 | 54 | 14 |
2320 | You were only supposed to use the oil. | 1.3402 | 0.03869 | 244 | 178 | 49 | 17 |
2321 | Vitals are good. Any trouble swallowing? | 1.3402 | 0.03736 | 244 | 175 | 55 | 14 |
2322 | So chest tightness.... anything else! | 1.3401 | 0.03836 | 247 | 180 | 50 | 17 |
2323 | okay....so other than the tightness in your chest.... | 1.3401 | 0.03793 | 247 | 179 | 52 | 16 |
2324 | It's what's going around these days. | 1.3401 | 0.03793 | 247 | 179 | 52 | 16 |
2325 | The good news is, we found out what's causing your sore throat | 1.3400 | 0.03719 | 250 | 180 | 55 | 15 |
2326 | You know, they can make these with feathers. | 1.3400 | 0.03888 | 250 | 184 | 47 | 19 |
2327 | So when did you first start noticing this? | 1.3399 | 0.03773 | 253 | 184 | 52 | 17 |
2328 | Tightness in chest... do you smoke? | 1.3399 | 0.03976 | 253 | 189 | 42 | 22 |
2329 | I'm sorry, but the emotional support python may be exacerbating your hypertension. | 1.3399 | 0.03773 | 253 | 184 | 52 | 17 |
2330 | Besides 'difficulty in breathing,' do you have any other complaints? | 1.3399 | 0.03773 | 253 | 184 | 52 | 17 |
2331 | Yes, I realize that I recommended compression. | 1.3399 | 0.03646 | 253 | 181 | 58 | 14 |
2332 | I recommend you see a herpetologist. | 1.3398 | 0.03660 | 256 | 184 | 57 | 15 |
2333 | Pressure in your chest and difficulty breathing? It's probably nothing, but I'll order an EKG. | 1.3398 | 0.03701 | 256 | 185 | 55 | 16 |
2334 | Easy mistake...although I'm surprised you didn't notice the lack of feathers. | 1.3398 | 0.04022 | 259 | 196 | 38 | 25 |
2335 | So, Mr. Anders, what brings you to my office today? | 1.3398 | 0.03870 | 259 | 192 | 46 | 21 |
2336 | Listen, I know I'm only. medical student, but I think I know what's causing your chest pain. | 1.3398 | 0.03672 | 259 | 187 | 56 | 16 |
2337 | And when did you first experience shortness of breath? | 1.3398 | 0.03631 | 259 | 186 | 58 | 15 |
2338 | Any symptoms other than tightness of the chest? | 1.3397 | 0.04205 | 209 | 153 | 41 | 15 |
2339 | There is no reason to be concerned. Shedding its skin is normal. | 1.3397 | 0.03800 | 262 | 193 | 49 | 20 |
2340 | So you say you’ve been feeling constricted. And about how long does that feeling usually last? | 1.3396 | 0.03814 | 268 | 199 | 47 | 22 |
2341 | The x-ray shows a slight bowel constriction. | 1.3394 | 0.04135 | 218 | 160 | 42 | 16 |
2342 | Sir, your comfort snake is really just trying to eat you. | 1.3394 | 0.04083 | 218 | 159 | 44 | 15 |
2343 | We’ve found that squeezing every last penny out of you is more palatable than affixing leeches to suck you dry. | 1.3394 | 0.04145 | 221 | 163 | 41 | 17 |
2344 | Let's get you down to radiology for a second opinion. | 1.3393 | 0.04007 | 224 | 163 | 46 | 15 |
2345 | I assume you brought someone to drive you home. | 1.3393 | 0.03854 | 224 | 160 | 52 | 12 |
2346 | Tightness in the chest... feelings of impending doom... I’ll have to run a few tests first, but, yes, it could be cardiac in nature. | 1.3393 | 0.04057 | 224 | 164 | 44 | 16 |
2347 | Think that’s bad? You should see the old lady who swallowed the fly. | 1.3393 | 0.04057 | 224 | 164 | 44 | 16 |
2348 | Any chest pains? Palpitations? Shortness of breath? | 1.3392 | 0.03921 | 227 | 164 | 49 | 14 |
2349 | As Morty’s veterinarian, I can tell you that everything looks totally normal. | 1.3391 | 0.04169 | 230 | 172 | 38 | 20 |
2350 | Looks like your cortisol levels are a little high. | 1.3391 | 0.04214 | 230 | 173 | 36 | 21 |
2351 | I think that your erectile dysnfuntion might be a synptom of a much larger problem. | 1.3391 | 0.03983 | 230 | 168 | 46 | 16 |
2352 | You'll need to see a sssspecialist. | 1.3391 | 0.03837 | 230 | 165 | 52 | 13 |
2353 | So, the nurse tells me you're experiencing a tightness in your chest. | 1.3391 | 0.04040 | 233 | 172 | 43 | 18 |
2354 | When his skin starts to shed, give him these pills twice a day. | 1.3391 | 0.03900 | 233 | 169 | 49 | 15 |
2355 | You describe a "squeezing sensation" in your chest area. I'm ordering a full cardiac work-up. | 1.3391 | 0.04130 | 233 | 174 | 39 | 20 |
2356 | When did you first notice the hissing sound in your left ear? | 1.3390 | 0.03912 | 236 | 172 | 48 | 16 |
2357 | You say you're feeling constipated? | 1.3389 | 0.03923 | 239 | 175 | 47 | 17 |
2358 | Take two hampsters every four hours and call me in the morning. | 1.3389 | 0.04012 | 239 | 177 | 43 | 19 |
2359 | How long have you been hearing this strange hissing sound? | 1.3389 | 0.03968 | 239 | 176 | 45 | 18 |
2360 | Don't worry, it's not venomous. | 1.3389 | 0.03786 | 239 | 172 | 53 | 14 |
2361 | If you'll take off your snake, we can get on with the exam. | 1.3389 | 0.03968 | 239 | 176 | 45 | 18 |
2362 | I think I can help you, but I'm afraid your friend has already been digested. | 1.3389 | 0.03878 | 239 | 174 | 49 | 16 |
2363 | Believe me, even with this prescription, the airlines are not going to let you board. | 1.3389 | 0.04098 | 239 | 179 | 39 | 21 |
2364 | A lot of that going around. | 1.3388 | 0.03933 | 242 | 178 | 46 | 18 |
2365 | When exactly did you start to notice a tightness in the chest? | 1.3388 | 0.03889 | 242 | 177 | 48 | 17 |
2366 | Now I can prescribe you meds but I think this is more of a lifestyle change. | 1.3388 | 0.03800 | 242 | 175 | 52 | 15 |
2367 | Apply the oil twice a day, and yes, it's really called that. | 1.3388 | 0.03889 | 242 | 177 | 48 | 17 |
2368 | Mr. Jones, I'm a hematologist, and what you really need to see is a herpetologist." | 1.3388 | 0.03709 | 242 | 173 | 56 | 13 |
2369 | Well, your blood pressure seems OK; now if you hop down, I'll have him take your temperature. | 1.3388 | 0.04189 | 245 | 187 | 33 | 25 |
2370 | So, Adam, how have things been since the divorce? | 1.3387 | 0.03866 | 248 | 182 | 48 | 18 |
2371 | I know you're on a diet, but your asp keeps getting bigger. | 1.3387 | 0.04229 | 248 | 191 | 30 | 27 |
2372 | Its messy. There's Eve, God and the whole HMO thing | 1.3387 | 0.03823 | 248 | 181 | 50 | 17 |
2373 | Tightness of chest is a common symptom of boa constriction. | 1.3387 | 0.03908 | 248 | 183 | 46 | 19 |
2374 | Well that just about wraps it up. | 1.3387 | 0.03866 | 248 | 182 | 48 | 18 |
2375 | When you wrote down that you were in a toxic relationship, I just thought.... | 1.3387 | 0.03649 | 248 | 177 | 58 | 13 |
2376 | We no longer recommend an apple a day. | 1.3386 | 0.03833 | 251 | 184 | 49 | 18 |
2377 | Swallow one mouse and call me in the morning. | 1.3386 | 0.03843 | 254 | 187 | 48 | 19 |
2378 | Any recent changes in your health? | 1.3386 | 0.03843 | 254 | 187 | 48 | 19 |
2379 | Any tightness in your chest or difficulty breathing" | 1.3385 | 0.03851 | 257 | 190 | 47 | 20 |
2380 | I don't often get the chance to prescribe a snake repellent, but here goes. | 1.3385 | 0.03619 | 260 | 187 | 58 | 15 |
2381 | So Adam how's Eve been | 1.3385 | 0.03780 | 260 | 191 | 50 | 19 |
2382 | Obviously with this condition you'll want to avoid driving or operating heavy machinery... | 1.3385 | 0.03660 | 260 | 188 | 56 | 16 |
2383 | We’ve been seeing this going around a lot lately. | 1.3383 | 0.03643 | 266 | 193 | 56 | 17 |
2384 | Either let go of the human or we are going to shoot you full of muscle relaxer. Your choice. | 1.3383 | 0.03653 | 269 | 196 | 55 | 18 |
2385 | Okay, but I'm not prescribing you any more emotional support rabbits. | 1.3381 | 0.04296 | 210 | 156 | 37 | 17 |
2386 | -and then you took a bite of an apple. And then, Adam, what happened next? | 1.3381 | 0.04078 | 210 | 152 | 45 | 13 |
2387 | How did this happen, last time I saw you were completely wrapped up in yourself. | 1.3381 | 0.03509 | 281 | 203 | 61 | 17 |
2388 | Let's see if we can figure out this hissing noise keeping you up all night | 1.3380 | 0.03984 | 213 | 153 | 48 | 12 |
2389 | The good news is your ECG is fine. That's not what's causing the tightness in your chest | 1.3380 | 0.04253 | 213 | 158 | 38 | 17 |
2390 | The mice don’t seem to be working. I’m prescribing weasels. | 1.3380 | 0.03692 | 284 | 211 | 50 | 23 |
2391 | ...or is it: “FEED a cold, and STARVE a snake...?” | 1.3380 | 0.04093 | 213 | 155 | 44 | 14 |
2392 | And when did you get into Monty Python? | 1.3380 | 0.04355 | 213 | 160 | 34 | 19 |
2393 | Do you feel any tightness in the chest area? | 1.3380 | 0.03836 | 216 | 153 | 53 | 10 |
2394 | Let's start with some blood thinners and a bunch of mice. | 1.3379 | 0.03963 | 219 | 158 | 48 | 13 |
2395 | Anything in particular making you tense? | 1.3378 | 0.03979 | 222 | 161 | 47 | 14 |
2396 | Sorry, but this is considered a pre existing condition. | 1.3378 | 0.04139 | 225 | 167 | 40 | 18 |
2397 | I think I know what’s causing the shortness of breath, but I want to get an X-ray. | 1.3378 | 0.04139 | 225 | 167 | 40 | 18 |
2398 | There are better ways to clear a frog from your throat | 1.3378 | 0.04090 | 225 | 166 | 42 | 17 |
2399 | I think you need to unwind a little... | 1.3377 | 0.03598 | 228 | 159 | 61 | 8 |
2400 | So, what seems to be your problem? | 1.3377 | 0.03872 | 231 | 167 | 50 | 14 |
2401 | Cramps, perspiration, heaviness of breath...so basically the same side effects as your last medication? | 1.3377 | 0.04108 | 231 | 172 | 40 | 19 |
2402 | OK chest pressure, difficulty breathing and numbness in arms and legs. When did you first notice these symptoms?" | 1.3377 | 0.03968 | 231 | 169 | 46 | 16 |
2403 | If by long term, you’re including lunch— No, I don’t think I’d be planning that far ahead. | 1.3376 | 0.03944 | 237 | 174 | 46 | 17 |
2404 | This is why we don’ t recommend “home remedy” colonoscopy. | 1.3376 | 0.04033 | 237 | 176 | 42 | 19 |
2405 | No, no, in my professional opinion I’d say what you’re experiencing is definitely a “boa constrictor”, not a bowel constriction. | 1.3376 | 0.03989 | 237 | 175 | 44 | 18 |
2406 | I think the bigger concern here are your cholesterol levels. | 1.3376 | 0.03805 | 237 | 171 | 52 | 14 |
2407 | Give it two mice a day and call me in the morning. | 1.3376 | 0.03944 | 237 | 174 | 46 | 17 |
2408 | So how long has your python had this separation anxiety disorder? | 1.3375 | 0.03954 | 240 | 177 | 45 | 18 |
2409 | I can tell you right now that your blood pressure is too high. | 1.3375 | 0.03998 | 240 | 178 | 43 | 19 |
2410 | Look on the bright side - it's much cheaper than the gastric bypass, the copay is just a few rats. | 1.3375 | 0.03864 | 240 | 175 | 49 | 16 |
2411 | Well, at least you're not wrapped up in yourself anymore. | 1.3374 | 0.04005 | 243 | 181 | 42 | 20 |
2412 | Pythons are the #1 Doctor Recommended emotional support animal thanks to their incomparable hugs. | 1.3374 | 0.03919 | 243 | 179 | 46 | 18 |
2413 | I’m confused. You went to a vet first and you consider me a second opinion? | 1.3374 | 0.03799 | 246 | 179 | 51 | 16 |
2414 | I guess I shouldn't ask you to step on the scales. | 1.3374 | 0.03620 | 246 | 175 | 59 | 12 |
2415 | So shortness of breath is your chief complaint? | 1.3374 | 0.03886 | 246 | 181 | 47 | 18 |
2416 | Monty Python? | 1.3374 | 0.03843 | 246 | 180 | 49 | 17 |
2417 | On a negative note, you have Stage 4 herpatitis. | 1.3373 | 0.03895 | 249 | 184 | 46 | 19 |
2418 | I can squeeze you in for a follow up tomorrow. | 1.3373 | 0.03768 | 249 | 181 | 52 | 16 |
2419 | So, troubles breathing huh? | 1.3373 | 0.03853 | 249 | 183 | 48 | 18 |
2420 | You'll have to sign this before we can proceed. | 1.3373 | 0.04017 | 249 | 187 | 40 | 22 |
2421 | Sit here for a few minutes and unwind. | 1.3373 | 0.03707 | 255 | 185 | 54 | 16 |
2422 | Your boa is in surprisingly good shape for not having eaten in a month. | 1.3373 | 0.03665 | 255 | 184 | 56 | 15 |
2423 | I take it the snake oil isn't helping? | 1.3373 | 0.03665 | 255 | 184 | 56 | 15 |
2424 | The surgeon who specializes in python removal can squeeze you in next Thursday. | 1.3372 | 0.03422 | 258 | 181 | 67 | 10 |
2425 | Yeah, I've seen this before. It's a biblical thing. | 1.3372 | 0.03798 | 258 | 190 | 49 | 19 |
2426 | Just out of curiosity, how long have you had that lisp? | 1.3372 | 0.03798 | 258 | 190 | 49 | 19 |
2427 | Maybe you should try a turtleneck. | 1.3372 | 0.03921 | 261 | 196 | 42 | 23 |
2428 | So, aside from that, how was your trip up the Amazon? | 1.3372 | 0.03648 | 261 | 189 | 56 | 16 |
2429 | I'm sorry ,Boas and Anacodas are covered, but your plan has a rider on Pythons. | 1.3371 | 0.03620 | 264 | 191 | 57 | 16 |
2430 | So tell me...are you sexually active? | 1.3371 | 0.03889 | 264 | 198 | 43 | 23 |
2431 | I've got some good news and bad news for you. First the good news. You don't have intestinal parasites | 1.3371 | 0.03540 | 264 | 189 | 61 | 14 |
2432 | There's nothing in the lab results to explain your shortness of breath. | 1.3369 | 0.03703 | 279 | 207 | 50 | 22 |
2433 | Unfortunately, your policy only covers Burmese pythons - try southeast Asia next summer instead of Florida. | 1.3364 | 0.04183 | 214 | 158 | 40 | 16 |
2434 | How severe is your pain on a scale of 1 to 2,500? | 1.3364 | 0.03985 | 217 | 157 | 47 | 13 |
2435 | I need to know if you bit the apple | 1.3364 | 0.04252 | 220 | 165 | 36 | 19 |
2436 | I'm optimistic. Last week you said 'oh, gee, it's up to my knee,' and I'm not hearing any knee complaints today. | 1.3364 | 0.04052 | 220 | 161 | 44 | 15 |
2437 | You Need Cobra not Python Insurance | 1.3364 | 0.04252 | 220 | 165 | 36 | 19 |
2438 | Annnnnd, what seems to be the problem? | 1.3363 | 0.03964 | 223 | 162 | 47 | 14 |
2439 | Take a couple of these every night, John: they'll help you unwind... | 1.3363 | 0.04258 | 223 | 168 | 35 | 20 |
2440 | Your blood pressure is off the charts. | 1.3363 | 0.03860 | 223 | 160 | 51 | 12 |
2441 | I am afraid I cannot find a billing code for this issue. Sorry, but you will have to pay for this visit out of pocket. | 1.3363 | 0.04211 | 223 | 167 | 37 | 19 |
2442 | And you say this was a Valentines day gift from your wife? | 1.3362 | 0.04047 | 232 | 172 | 42 | 18 |
2443 | Are you feeling a tightness in your chest? | 1.3362 | 0.03858 | 232 | 168 | 50 | 14 |
2444 | So, this says you’ve been experiencing shortness of breath... | 1.3362 | 0.03777 | 235 | 169 | 53 | 13 |
2445 | ...and how long have you been feeling constricted? | 1.3362 | 0.03965 | 235 | 173 | 45 | 17 |
2446 | So when did you start having chest pain? | 1.3362 | 0.03965 | 235 | 173 | 45 | 17 |
2447 | Sorry, sir, I was talking to the python. He seems to have better coverage. | 1.3361 | 0.03697 | 238 | 170 | 56 | 12 |
2448 | I suggested you go on a restrictive diet, not a constrictor diet. | 1.3361 | 0.03930 | 238 | 175 | 46 | 17 |
2449 | Yes, there is a reason that you can’t raise your arms. | 1.3361 | 0.03745 | 238 | 171 | 54 | 13 |
2450 | Honestly Bill, aren't you getting a little too defensive about having your prostate examined? | 1.3361 | 0.03930 | 238 | 175 | 46 | 17 |
2451 | Low oxygen, rapid weight gain . . . we'll need to run a few more tests. | 1.3361 | 0.03851 | 241 | 176 | 49 | 16 |
2452 | It may take a week or two, but you've just got to unwind. | 1.3361 | 0.03862 | 244 | 179 | 48 | 17 |
2453 | Well, this certainly explains the tightness in your chest you called us about. | 1.3361 | 0.03774 | 244 | 177 | 52 | 15 |
2454 | I won't know what's causing your chest pain until I order some lab work. | 1.3361 | 0.03906 | 244 | 180 | 46 | 18 |
2455 | So - your difficulty breathing. Is it all the time, or does it come and go? | 1.3361 | 0.03949 | 244 | 181 | 44 | 19 |
2456 | I'm writing you a prescription to ease your constriction. | 1.3361 | 0.03991 | 244 | 182 | 42 | 20 |
2457 | Well, we'll rule out COPD. | 1.3361 | 0.03818 | 244 | 178 | 50 | 16 |
2458 | A course of antiboa-otics should clear this right up. | 1.3360 | 0.03698 | 247 | 178 | 55 | 14 |
2459 | That's nothing. Wait until you get my bill. | 1.3360 | 0.03654 | 247 | 177 | 57 | 13 |
2460 | For insurance purposes, are you one or two patients? | 1.3360 | 0.04004 | 250 | 188 | 40 | 22 |
2461 | As a precaution, I’m prescribing a potent laxative for the snake. | 1.3360 | 0.03881 | 250 | 185 | 46 | 19 |
2462 | You took the subway? | 1.3360 | 0.03712 | 250 | 181 | 54 | 15 |
2463 | On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 be the mildest and 10 being the most crushing, how would you rate the constriction? | 1.3360 | 0.03624 | 250 | 179 | 58 | 13 |
2464 | And when did the shortness of breath start? | 1.3360 | 0.03808 | 253 | 186 | 49 | 18 |
2465 | Yes, it's like compression socks. | 1.3360 | 0.03552 | 253 | 180 | 61 | 12 |
2466 | I want you to switch to a Paleo Diet and avoid the fruit of a certain tree. | 1.3360 | 0.03929 | 253 | 189 | 43 | 21 |
2467 | I'm going to prescribe you some snake oil. | 1.3360 | 0.03849 | 253 | 187 | 47 | 19 |
2468 | Boris here will be your therapy pet. | 1.3359 | 0.03653 | 256 | 185 | 56 | 15 |
2469 | I see here that your blood pressure is up a little today. | 1.3359 | 0.03653 | 256 | 185 | 56 | 15 |
2470 | When did you first notice this shortness of breath? | 1.3359 | 0.03677 | 262 | 191 | 54 | 17 |
2471 | I'm concerned about your circulation. | 1.3359 | 0.03596 | 262 | 189 | 58 | 15 |
2472 | Chest tightness, shortness of breath.. It might be just stress. | 1.3358 | 0.03839 | 265 | 198 | 45 | 22 |
2473 | I can hear a rattling in your chest. We need to get that checked out. | 1.3358 | 0.03726 | 265 | 195 | 51 | 19 |
2474 | Apparently your diet is not the cause of your high blood pressure. | 1.3358 | 0.03620 | 268 | 195 | 56 | 17 |
2475 | The tightness in your chest could be caused by any number of things, Mr. Albers. We’ll have to run a few tests. | 1.3358 | 0.03845 | 268 | 201 | 44 | 23 |
2476 | Has your constriction lasted for more than four hours? | 1.3357 | 0.03586 | 280 | 205 | 56 | 19 |
2477 | Unfortuntely we can't do anything until its bitten you | 1.3350 | 0.04126 | 206 | 150 | 43 | 13 |
2478 | Your date of birth here says sixth day, but no month or year. Why is that? | 1.3349 | 0.04127 | 218 | 161 | 41 | 16 |
2479 | The good news is your snake will be just fine.” | 1.3349 | 0.04023 | 218 | 159 | 45 | 14 |
2480 | Well...I'll tell ya, it sure is a shame that we didn't detect this earlier... | 1.3348 | 0.03881 | 221 | 159 | 50 | 12 |
2481 | When did you first notice the hissing sound? | 1.3348 | 0.03796 | 233 | 168 | 52 | 13 |
2482 | In my experience, your shortness of breath is probably asthma, but let's see what the tests say... | 1.3348 | 0.03986 | 233 | 172 | 44 | 17 |
2483 | Trust me, after a few weeks you’ll wonder how you ever got along without it. | 1.3348 | 0.03892 | 233 | 170 | 48 | 15 |
2484 | Any symptoms other than tightness in your chest? | 1.3347 | 0.03905 | 236 | 173 | 47 | 16 |
2485 | Sorry for the long wait, I see your insurance is in order... What seems to be the problem? | 1.3347 | 0.04041 | 236 | 176 | 41 | 19 |
2486 | Next time specifically ask for a feather boa. | 1.3347 | 0.03871 | 239 | 175 | 48 | 16 |
2487 | Well, we've gotten results back from the lab, and I'm happy to report that the tightness in your chest is not the result of a heart attack. | 1.3347 | 0.03732 | 239 | 172 | 54 | 13 |
2488 | Doctor, it's not me. I'm here for the snake. | 1.3347 | 0.03916 | 239 | 176 | 46 | 17 |
2489 | So...your insurance company wants to know if this is a pre-existing condition | 1.3347 | 0.04019 | 245 | 184 | 40 | 21 |
2490 | Actually, it's not covered by anyone's insurance. | 1.3347 | 0.03935 | 245 | 182 | 44 | 19 |
2491 | You're fine, but the snake has a skin condition. | 1.3347 | 0.03943 | 248 | 185 | 43 | 20 |
2492 | The good news is that the tightness in your chest is not attributable to cardiac health. | 1.3347 | 0.03773 | 248 | 181 | 51 | 16 |
2493 | Do you have any other partners | 1.3347 | 0.03901 | 248 | 184 | 45 | 19 |
2494 | Tell me what seems to be the problem? | 1.3347 | 0.03943 | 248 | 185 | 43 | 20 |
2495 | Here's a doctor's order for your service animal. | 1.3347 | 0.03859 | 248 | 183 | 47 | 18 |
2496 | I am arranging a PET scan to see if we can determine what’s causing the tightness in your chest. | 1.3347 | 0.03656 | 251 | 181 | 56 | 14 |
2497 | Okay, I’m going to ask you not to take a deep breath... | 1.3347 | 0.03656 | 251 | 181 | 56 | 14 |
2498 | I’m sorry sir, we still have to perform a prostate exam. Standard procedure. | 1.3347 | 0.03909 | 251 | 187 | 44 | 20 |
2499 | So it says here, you’re suffering from shortness of breath. Would you say that is something recent? | 1.3346 | 0.03712 | 254 | 185 | 53 | 16 |
2500 | Your chest is a little constricted, but your blood work looks just fine. | 1.3346 | 0.03665 | 263 | 192 | 54 | 17 |
2501 | Shortness of breath? For how long? | 1.3346 | 0.03743 | 263 | 194 | 50 | 19 |
2502 | How long since the move has she been this clingy? | 1.3346 | 0.03376 | 263 | 185 | 68 | 10 |
2503 | Yes, I suppose we could use a blood pressure cuff instead. | 1.3346 | 0.03625 | 263 | 191 | 56 | 16 |
2504 | You have one of the worst cases of coilitis I’ve ever seen | 1.3346 | 0.03936 | 266 | 202 | 39 | 25 |
2505 | On the plus side, it looks like your blood sugar is finally under control | 1.3346 | 0.03685 | 269 | 198 | 52 | 19 |
2506 | Give him two rats and call me in the morning. | 1.3346 | 0.03685 | 269 | 198 | 52 | 19 |
2507 | Does it hurt when you swallow? | 1.3346 | 0.03452 | 269 | 192 | 64 | 13 |
2508 | I think I can explain the shortness of breath. | 1.3345 | 0.03517 | 275 | 199 | 60 | 16 |
2509 | So apparently not every apple keeps the doctor away, Adam. | 1.3345 | 0.03876 | 275 | 209 | 40 | 26 |
2510 | Your knee reflexes are fine. | 1.3333 | 0.03671 | 258 | 188 | 54 | 16 |
2511 | I meant you should go on a restricted diet, not a constricted one! | 1.3333 | 0.03984 | 225 | 165 | 45 | 15 |
2512 | And what seems to be your problem ? | 1.3333 | 0.03815 | 231 | 167 | 51 | 13 |
2513 | I'm prescribing something to make you less delicious. | 1.3333 | 0.03960 | 231 | 170 | 45 | 16 |
2514 | This should help with the swelling, but side effects may include difficulty breathing. | 1.3333 | 0.04191 | 231 | 175 | 35 | 21 |
2515 | But should you unwind the python you will be full Monty. | 1.3333 | 0.03896 | 252 | 188 | 44 | 20 |
2516 | ...and discontinue the support animal for your back condition. | 1.3333 | 0.04092 | 228 | 170 | 40 | 18 |
2517 | We'll have the results of your stress test in just a minute. | 1.3333 | 0.03719 | 240 | 173 | 54 | 13 |
2518 | Mr. Jones, I believe we're finally beginning to understand what might be behind your unusually high blood pressure. | 1.3333 | 0.03761 | 249 | 182 | 51 | 16 |
2519 | It looks like PETA has blocked all the available treatments. | 1.3333 | 0.03636 | 270 | 198 | 54 | 18 |
2520 | The good news is we did find the tail... | 1.3333 | 0.03730 | 252 | 184 | 52 | 16 |
2521 | Fortunately your insurance pays for wraparound services. | 1.3333 | 0.03864 | 231 | 168 | 49 | 14 |
2522 | Good morning Mr. Pivnick, what brings you in today? | 1.3333 | 0.04008 | 231 | 171 | 43 | 17 |
2523 | Sorry, this is the best colonoscopy procedure we can do with your medical insurance | 1.3333 | 0.03909 | 258 | 194 | 42 | 22 |
2524 | This is what keeps dermatology interesting. | 1.3333 | 0.03803 | 249 | 183 | 49 | 17 |
2525 | Sorry, all our herpetologists are out of network. | 1.3333 | 0.03982 | 237 | 176 | 43 | 18 |
2526 | Chest pressure yes, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a heart attack! | 1.3333 | 0.03878 | 234 | 171 | 48 | 15 |
2527 | I'm putting you on anti-constrictor medication. | 1.3333 | 0.04045 | 228 | 169 | 42 | 17 |
2528 | I’m prescribing you this emotional support animal for your anxiety issues. | 1.3333 | 0.03692 | 264 | 194 | 52 | 18 |
2529 | And, you say you’re having trouble breathing, correct? | 1.3333 | 0.03823 | 255 | 189 | 47 | 19 |
2530 | So you’re trying to leave her because she’s smothering you? | 1.3333 | 0.04045 | 228 | 169 | 42 | 17 |
2531 | So tell me, where does it hurt? | 1.3333 | 0.03844 | 237 | 173 | 49 | 15 |
2532 | Strip down to your gerbils. | 1.3333 | 0.03896 | 252 | 188 | 44 | 20 |
2533 | I'm going to recommend charm school. | 1.3333 | 0.04026 | 237 | 177 | 41 | 19 |
2534 | Looks like you’ve been too charming for your own good. | 1.3333 | 0.03846 | 249 | 184 | 47 | 18 |
2535 | Let's see if we can't shuffle off this mortal coil, eh? | 1.3333 | 0.03883 | 264 | 199 | 42 | 23 |
2536 | They say they won't cover this because it's a pre-existing condition. | 1.3333 | 0.03845 | 264 | 198 | 44 | 22 |
2537 | We feel its entirely allegorical. | 1.3333 | 0.03970 | 222 | 162 | 46 | 14 |
2538 | Trust me--next best thing to a laxative. | 1.3333 | 0.04026 | 237 | 177 | 41 | 19 |
2539 | Get rid of the apple tree. | 1.3333 | 0.03814 | 252 | 186 | 48 | 18 |
2540 | As a rescue boa, you have to expect this kind of thing. Here's a Rx for a muscle relaxant. | 1.3333 | 0.03823 | 255 | 189 | 47 | 19 |
2541 | The nurse said you are having trouble breathing? | 1.3333 | 0.03644 | 252 | 182 | 56 | 14 |
2542 | Is there any history of this happening in your family? | 1.3333 | 0.03766 | 240 | 174 | 52 | 14 |
2543 | So he was in your neighbor's apple tree? | 1.3333 | 0.03823 | 255 | 189 | 47 | 19 |
2544 | I'm going have to refer you to a herpetologist. | 1.3333 | 0.03782 | 234 | 169 | 52 | 13 |
2545 | And this was after Eve bit the apple? | 1.3333 | 0.03784 | 270 | 202 | 46 | 22 |
2546 | I don't care how constipated you are. Stop taking medical advice from Goop. | 1.3333 | 0.03963 | 246 | 184 | 42 | 20 |
2547 | Possible side effects include tightness,faintness,claustrophobia,hysteria,loss of blood flow,immobility,neck strain,over-heating,and the sneaking suspicion you belong in a zoo. | 1.3333 | 0.03704 | 246 | 178 | 54 | 14 |
2548 | Look, everyone has excuses for high blood pressure, I’m still recommending lowering your sodium intake. | 1.3333 | 0.03702 | 237 | 170 | 55 | 12 |
2549 | Is the tightness just in your chest? | 1.3333 | 0.03921 | 246 | 183 | 44 | 19 |
2550 | Okay, I see the problem. You can get dressed. | 1.3333 | 0.03658 | 246 | 177 | 56 | 13 |
2551 | So, tingling in the feet can have many root causes... | 1.3333 | 0.03642 | 261 | 190 | 55 | 16 |
2552 | Well, we first met on Slithr. | 1.3333 | 0.04208 | 204 | 150 | 40 | 14 |
2553 | I'm pretty sure it is not an allergy. | 1.3333 | 0.03984 | 225 | 165 | 45 | 15 |
2554 | Well, the snake is in-network, but the antivenin is out of network. | 1.3333 | 0.04131 | 225 | 168 | 39 | 18 |
2555 | The good news is that this should shed off in about 6 months. | 1.3333 | 0.03919 | 222 | 161 | 48 | 13 |
2556 | The nurse screamed something about a tightness in your chest so I'm ordering an EKG to help us figure out what might be causing that. | 1.3333 | 0.03761 | 261 | 193 | 49 | 19 |
2557 | I see you're over 50. I'm recommending a colonoscopy. | 1.3321 | 0.03670 | 262 | 192 | 53 | 17 |
2558 | Can you please be more specific when you describe feeling a "tightness around your chest"? | 1.3321 | 0.03710 | 262 | 193 | 51 | 18 |
2559 | Your wife called and asked if you could pick up a few apples on the way home. | 1.3320 | 0.03740 | 259 | 191 | 50 | 18 |
2560 | What we are dealing with here is a strong case of separation anxiety. | 1.3320 | 0.03779 | 259 | 192 | 48 | 19 |
2561 | I'm going to refer you to a very good anaconda man I know. | 1.3320 | 0.03770 | 256 | 189 | 49 | 18 |
2562 | You do have a COBRA from you last job, but I'm afraid there is no python benefit. | 1.3320 | 0.03883 | 253 | 189 | 44 | 20 |
2563 | I'm sorry sir, we only deal with first world problems here. | 1.3320 | 0.03759 | 253 | 186 | 50 | 17 |
2564 | Just because it doesn’t have feathers doesn’t mean you’re not gay. | 1.3320 | 0.03997 | 250 | 189 | 39 | 22 |
2565 | You're blood pressure is abnormally high. | 1.3320 | 0.03791 | 250 | 184 | 49 | 17 |
2566 | The Good news is the snake is in perfect health. | 1.3320 | 0.03748 | 250 | 183 | 51 | 16 |
2567 | ...Loss of appetite, shortness of breath, tightness in your chest. I'm going to refer you to one of our resident charmers. | 1.3320 | 0.04032 | 247 | 187 | 38 | 22 |
2568 | Lucky for you, this is the only affliction Snake Oil cures. | 1.3320 | 0.03865 | 247 | 183 | 46 | 18 |
2569 | Generally when they wrap themselves around you like this, it's something other than a show of affection. | 1.3320 | 0.03941 | 244 | 182 | 43 | 19 |
2570 | I am referring you to Dr. Patel, down the hall. If he has his instrument, a pungi, he will charm that snake from you in two minutes. | 1.3320 | 0.03676 | 244 | 176 | 55 | 13 |
2571 | For now, you are restricted from physical activity...well, constricted. | 1.3320 | 0.03766 | 244 | 178 | 51 | 15 |
2572 | The good news is you're on the outside of it. | 1.3320 | 0.04019 | 241 | 181 | 40 | 20 |
2573 | Good news? You look dashing in a boa. Bad news? It will be hungry soon.” | 1.3320 | 0.03932 | 241 | 179 | 44 | 18 |
2574 | Well, WebMD is no doctor. | 1.3320 | 0.03563 | 241 | 171 | 60 | 10 |
2575 | I'm prescribing a steroid cream for the scaly skin. | 1.3320 | 0.03612 | 241 | 172 | 58 | 11 |
2576 | Those YouTube challenges keeps getting weirder | 1.3320 | 0.03798 | 241 | 176 | 50 | 15 |
2577 | You’ve got to learn to unwind. | 1.3319 | 0.03967 | 238 | 177 | 43 | 18 |
2578 | It gives a much more accurate reading of your blood pressure. | 1.3319 | 0.03877 | 238 | 175 | 47 | 16 |
2579 | Has it been more than four hours? | 1.3319 | 0.03967 | 238 | 177 | 43 | 18 |
2580 | If it's any consolation, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. | 1.3319 | 0.03957 | 235 | 174 | 44 | 17 |
2581 | You just need a dose of antihisstamines. | 1.3319 | 0.04176 | 232 | 176 | 35 | 21 |
2582 | Your snake is in great health -- but I think it's about time you saw an MD. | 1.3319 | 0.04030 | 229 | 170 | 42 | 17 |
2583 | I’m going to pull it’s tail. Your legs will either spin like a top or your head will pop like a cherry. | 1.3319 | 0.03933 | 229 | 168 | 46 | 15 |
2584 | I checked and neither your primary nor your secondary covers this. | 1.3319 | 0.04170 | 229 | 173 | 36 | 20 |
2585 | Frankly I don't think your problem is asthma. | 1.3319 | 0.03933 | 229 | 168 | 46 | 15 |
2586 | I see you’re fully covered, but unfortunately your snake is not. | 1.3319 | 0.03835 | 229 | 166 | 50 | 13 |
2587 | This should reduce your swelling. | 1.3319 | 0.03869 | 226 | 164 | 49 | 13 |
2588 | My wife has a similar handbag | 1.3318 | 0.04134 | 217 | 161 | 40 | 16 |
2589 | I see here you’re complaining of difficulty swallowing, a tightness in you chest and a compacted bowel... anything else | 1.3318 | 0.04286 | 217 | 164 | 34 | 19 |
2590 | Uh huh, and have your contractions increased since your last visit? | 1.3318 | 0.04030 | 217 | 159 | 44 | 14 |
2591 | So, when did you first notice the contractions? | 1.3318 | 0.04279 | 214 | 161 | 35 | 18 |
2592 | Trust me. It'll do wonders for your back pain. | 1.3309 | 0.03333 | 278 | 198 | 68 | 12 |
2593 | I just need you to fill out this form and then the doctor can see you. | 1.3309 | 0.03695 | 275 | 205 | 49 | 21 |
2594 | Mr. Ralston, I'm confident you have what we used to call grippe | 1.3308 | 0.03578 | 263 | 191 | 57 | 15 |
2595 | Just feed it three mice daily and you'll be just fine See you in a year. | 1.3308 | 0.03564 | 260 | 188 | 58 | 14 |
2596 | Well we're out of rodents so let's give the clarinet a try. | 1.3308 | 0.03845 | 260 | 195 | 44 | 21 |
2597 | This is not what I meant when I suggested you constrict your activity. | 1.3307 | 0.03788 | 254 | 188 | 48 | 18 |
2598 | The good news: We’ve killed your tapeworm. | 1.3307 | 0.03533 | 254 | 182 | 60 | 12 |
2599 | Your cholesterol is ok but your pressure is through the roof! | 1.3307 | 0.03983 | 251 | 190 | 39 | 22 |
2600 | Do you feel out of breath when you go up stairs? | 1.3307 | 0.03983 | 251 | 190 | 39 | 22 |
2601 | How long have you been feeling constricted? | 1.3307 | 0.03692 | 251 | 183 | 53 | 15 |
2602 | I can see that you are feeling a bit constricted. | 1.3306 | 0.03852 | 248 | 184 | 46 | 18 |
2603 | ...and his name is Monty, you say? | 1.3306 | 0.03678 | 248 | 180 | 54 | 14 |
2604 | There is nothing I can do until you sign this consent form. | 1.3306 | 0.03809 | 248 | 183 | 48 | 17 |
2605 | And you say Eve ate the whole apple. | 1.3306 | 0.03885 | 245 | 182 | 45 | 18 |
2606 | Are you currently feeling any discomfort? | 1.3306 | 0.03919 | 242 | 180 | 44 | 18 |
2607 | The herpetologist can see you a week from Thursday."You OK with that | 1.3306 | 0.03919 | 242 | 180 | 44 | 18 |
2608 | ‘My prescription for you...Get out of Florida immediately.” | 1.3306 | 0.03962 | 242 | 181 | 42 | 19 |
2609 | I have some good news regarding your scoliosis. | 1.3306 | 0.03739 | 242 | 176 | 52 | 14 |
2610 | I'm admitting the snake to the hospital. You just have to go along. | 1.3306 | 0.03785 | 242 | 177 | 50 | 15 |
2611 | So...it says here you feel a tightness in your chest? | 1.3306 | 0.03830 | 242 | 178 | 48 | 16 |
2612 | I have your test results. It’s not a goiter.” | 1.3305 | 0.03771 | 239 | 174 | 51 | 14 |
2613 | On the plus side, all of your vitals look good... | 1.3305 | 0.04033 | 236 | 177 | 40 | 19 |
2614 | Sorry, your health plan doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. | 1.3305 | 0.04033 | 236 | 177 | 40 | 19 |
2615 | Apparently not all pets lower your blood pressure. | 1.3305 | 0.03932 | 233 | 172 | 45 | 16 |
2616 | I think that we might have figured out what is causing the tightness in your chest. | 1.3305 | 0.03836 | 233 | 170 | 49 | 14 |
2617 | Tightness in chest...any other symptoms? | 1.3304 | 0.03870 | 230 | 168 | 48 | 14 |
2618 | Your blood pressure is a little high. Are you exercising | 1.3304 | 0.04015 | 230 | 171 | 42 | 17 |
2619 | You need to unwind. Literally. | 1.3304 | 0.03919 | 230 | 169 | 46 | 15 |
2620 | Is there a reason you didn't come in earlier? | 1.3304 | 0.04147 | 227 | 171 | 37 | 19 |
2621 | Well, yes, that constricted feeling in the chest is a common symptom of a panic attack. However, it could also be caused by your pet snake. | 1.3304 | 0.04052 | 227 | 169 | 41 | 17 |
2622 | I reccomend three aspirin and eight live rats daily. | 1.3304 | 0.03804 | 227 | 164 | 51 | 12 |
2623 | When did this relationship start, and why do you think she's become so possessive? | 1.3304 | 0.04052 | 227 | 169 | 41 | 17 |
2624 | And are you feeling any shortness of breath? | 1.3304 | 0.03940 | 224 | 164 | 46 | 14 |
2625 | Now, let's talk about that so-called 'companion animal' of yours. | 1.3304 | 0.03889 | 224 | 163 | 48 | 13 |
2626 | Whatever you do, don't exhale. | 1.3303 | 0.03872 | 221 | 160 | 49 | 12 |
2627 | Have you tried gyrating counter clockwise? | 1.3303 | 0.03818 | 221 | 159 | 51 | 11 |
2628 | We'll get your blood pressure down one way or another. | 1.3302 | 0.03998 | 215 | 157 | 45 | 13 |
2629 | ... and how long have you been feeling this tightness in your chest? | 1.3302 | 0.04146 | 212 | 157 | 40 | 15 |
2630 | How bad is the pain on a “scale” of 1 to 10 feet? | 1.3296 | 0.03704 | 270 | 201 | 49 | 20 |
2631 | Sssso, what sssseems to be the problem? | 1.3295 | 0.03647 | 264 | 194 | 53 | 17 |
2632 | OK...Tightness in your chest. Have you been exercising? How about alcohol consumption? Getting enough sleep? Problems at home or at work? | 1.3295 | 0.03763 | 264 | 197 | 47 | 20 |
2633 | Just relax and let him take your blood pressure. | 1.3295 | 0.03763 | 264 | 197 | 47 | 20 |
2634 | I don't know what's causing your shortness of breath. All your blood test results look fine. | 1.3295 | 0.03763 | 264 | 197 | 47 | 20 |
2635 | Eugene, I think we can rule out cancer. | 1.3295 | 0.03553 | 261 | 189 | 58 | 14 |
2636 | Aside from the tightness in your chest, are you experiencing any other symptoms? | 1.3295 | 0.03825 | 258 | 193 | 45 | 20 |
2637 | I think you should probably see a vet. | 1.3295 | 0.03452 | 258 | 184 | 63 | 11 |
2638 | I think I know what's causing your shortness of breath. | 1.3295 | 0.03785 | 258 | 192 | 47 | 19 |
2639 | Has he shown signs of discomfort? | 1.3294 | 0.03608 | 255 | 185 | 56 | 14 |
2640 | Would you say you feel.. mmh.. constricted? | 1.3294 | 0.03856 | 255 | 191 | 44 | 20 |
2641 | Your cholesterol is high, but it won't kill you. | 1.3294 | 0.03856 | 255 | 191 | 44 | 20 |
2642 | Yep, it's herpes. | 1.3294 | 0.03936 | 255 | 193 | 40 | 22 |
2643 | You say you first used it as a small scarf and then it grew on you? | 1.3294 | 0.03807 | 252 | 187 | 47 | 18 |
2644 | That feeling of a constriction and shortness of breath can be a false indicator. Let's get you downstairs for an EKG. | 1.3294 | 0.03889 | 252 | 189 | 43 | 20 |
2645 | Your insurance says you’re fine. | 1.3294 | 0.03765 | 252 | 186 | 49 | 17 |
2646 | Well It appears we can rule out Asthma | 1.3294 | 0.03680 | 252 | 184 | 53 | 15 |
2647 | Good news- your cholesterol is fine. | 1.3293 | 0.03622 | 249 | 180 | 56 | 13 |
2648 | Good news! She views the relationship as symbiotic. | 1.3293 | 0.03666 | 249 | 181 | 54 | 14 |
2649 | Just to be safe, let’s order another test. | 1.3293 | 0.03922 | 249 | 187 | 42 | 20 |
2650 | Next time I strongly suggest a feathered one. | 1.3293 | 0.04161 | 246 | 190 | 31 | 25 |
2651 | I'm no expert when it comes to relationships. But I think someone's got a crush on you. | 1.3293 | 0.03696 | 246 | 179 | 53 | 14 |
2652 | We’re short on time, so I’ll skip the good news/ bad new routine | 1.3293 | 0.03741 | 246 | 180 | 51 | 15 |
2653 | This is the homeopathic way to take your blood pressure | 1.3293 | 0.03828 | 246 | 182 | 47 | 17 |
2654 | It’s not as bad as it looks. | 1.3293 | 0.03605 | 246 | 177 | 57 | 12 |
2655 | Sorry to make you wait but I am up to my neck with patients today. | 1.3292 | 0.03392 | 243 | 170 | 66 | 7 |
2656 | With chest pain we always have to rule out a heart condition. | 1.3292 | 0.03948 | 243 | 182 | 42 | 19 |
2657 | I’d like to prescribe him a muscle relaxer. Any known allergies? | 1.3292 | 0.03894 | 240 | 178 | 45 | 17 |
2658 | So you say you've had difficulty breathing recently? | 1.3292 | 0.03849 | 240 | 177 | 47 | 16 |
2659 | So where do you feel the tightness? | 1.3292 | 0.03894 | 240 | 178 | 45 | 17 |
2660 | I have your diagnosis but it may be difficult to swallow | 1.3292 | 0.03983 | 240 | 180 | 41 | 19 |
2661 | Have you tried using a gentle wind instrument? | 1.3291 | 0.04019 | 237 | 178 | 40 | 19 |
2662 | If you’d just taken the apple, none of us would be here. | 1.3291 | 0.03837 | 237 | 174 | 48 | 15 |
2663 | I’m prescribing two mice a day. | 1.3291 | 0.03790 | 237 | 173 | 50 | 14 |
2664 | So it says here you're feeling constricted? | 1.3291 | 0.03929 | 237 | 176 | 44 | 17 |
2665 | I’m not sure why you’re having trouble breathing. Let’s order some tests. | 1.3291 | 0.03974 | 237 | 177 | 42 | 18 |
2666 | Can you tell me when the shortness of breath started? | 1.3291 | 0.03790 | 237 | 173 | 50 | 14 |
2667 | I'm afraid your insurance company is about to put the squeeze on you too." | 1.3291 | 0.03790 | 237 | 173 | 50 | 14 |
2668 | Good news, the constriction you're experiencing in your chest is not heart-related | 1.3291 | 0.03742 | 237 | 172 | 52 | 13 |
2669 | I am referring you to Dr. Charmer. | 1.3291 | 0.04063 | 237 | 179 | 38 | 20 |
2670 | Next of Kin? Eve, you say? | 1.3291 | 0.03883 | 237 | 175 | 46 | 16 |
2671 | Besides that, any allergies? | 1.3291 | 0.03837 | 237 | 174 | 48 | 15 |
2672 | Whether it's your insurance company, or this boa, you're getting squeezed either way. | 1.3291 | 0.03774 | 234 | 170 | 51 | 13 |
2673 | I wish I could help you with the boa constrictor, but it looks like your insurance only covers pythons. | 1.3291 | 0.04055 | 234 | 176 | 39 | 19 |
2674 | Your blood pressure today seems slightly elevated. | 1.3291 | 0.03870 | 234 | 172 | 47 | 15 |
2675 | The good news is that it looks like he already had lunch. | 1.3291 | 0.03870 | 234 | 172 | 47 | 15 |
2676 | I still need you to sign your insurance information form. | 1.3290 | 0.03952 | 231 | 171 | 44 | 16 |
2677 | Sorry. We were out of gowns. | 1.3289 | 0.04084 | 228 | 171 | 39 | 18 |
2678 | Surprisingly, your blood pressure is normal. | 1.3289 | 0.03890 | 228 | 167 | 47 | 14 |
2679 | I wanted your diet to be restrictive, not constrictive. | 1.3289 | 0.04084 | 228 | 171 | 39 | 18 |
2680 | I'm going to prescribe you some mice. | 1.3288 | 0.03962 | 222 | 163 | 45 | 14 |
2681 | I won't be able to look at that neck of yours unless you take off your boa. | 1.3287 | 0.04244 | 216 | 163 | 35 | 18 |
2682 | OK, I'll order some tests, but I'm not going to ask you how you had the foresight to get undressed before this happened. | 1.3285 | 0.03737 | 274 | 206 | 46 | 22 |
2683 | Physically, he's fine. | 1.3284 | 0.03607 | 268 | 197 | 54 | 17 |
2684 | It says here that you've been experiencing some tightness in your chest. | 1.3283 | 0.03674 | 265 | 196 | 51 | 18 |
2685 | Look, I don't know what you want from me. Your snake is in perfect health. | 1.3283 | 0.04040 | 198 | 143 | 45 | 10 |
2686 | It will be just a few minutes, we’re waiting for PETA to call us back so we don’t injure him. | 1.3282 | 0.04041 | 259 | 200 | 33 | 26 |
2687 | I'm writing a referral to a snake oil salesman._ | 1.3282 | 0.03610 | 259 | 189 | 55 | 15 |
2688 | I put your odds at about one serpent. | 1.3282 | 0.03851 | 259 | 195 | 43 | 21 |
2689 | Looks like you caught something during your recent trip to the Amazon Rain Forest | 1.3281 | 0.03844 | 256 | 192 | 44 | 20 |
2690 | Effects may include shortness of breath. | 1.3281 | 0.03554 | 256 | 185 | 58 | 13 |