Contest #651 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	2019-02-24T22:52:00.000Z
Voting started	-
Voting ended	2019-03-10T21:54:00.000Z
Finalists announced	2019-03-04T22:53:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	March 11, 2019
Number of captions	9250
Number of responses	2249813
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	No need to panic: a reptile dysfunction is common for men of your age.	1.7716	0.05580	232	116	53	63
1	I usually don't say this to men.....How far apart are the contractions?	1.7673	0.05544	245	127	48	70
2	You have a reptile dysfunction.	1.7489	0.05397	235	117	60	58
3	I’m afraid you have a reptile dysfunction.	1.7266	0.04936	267	133	74	60
4	What we have here is a reptile dysfuntion.	1.7216	0.05201	255	133	60	62
5	Oh, a REPTILE dysfunction...	1.6827	0.05024	271	149	59	63
6	Reptile Disfunction is very common in men your age.	1.6822	0.05221	236	125	61	50
7	I'm afraid it's a reptile dysfunction.	1.6789	0.05459	246	142	41	63
8	How long between contractions?	1.6746	0.05549	209	112	53	44
9	Looks like a reptile dysfunction	1.6629	0.04945	267	147	63	57
10	I’m afraid you’ve got reptile dysfunction.	1.6627	0.05097	252	139	59	54
11	Not to worry. Reptile dysfunction is highly treatable.	1.6624	0.05365	237	134	49	54
12	Okay. Now YOU stick out your tongue.	1.6569	0.04994	239	126	69	44
13	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover reptile dysfunction.	1.6559	0.05063	247	135	62	50
14	Reptile Dysfunction is common in men your age.	1.6553	0.04972	264	147	61	56
15	Relax, it's common for men of your age to have reptile dysfunction.	1.6540	0.05453	211	115	54	42
16	Give the snake two viagra and it will straighten out in about fifteen minutes.	1.6454	0.04612	282	152	78	52
17	Your wife was right. You have a reptile dysfunction.	1.6387	0.04949	274	159	55	60
18	Oh! You're here to get treated for REPTILE dysfunction.	1.6386	0.05145	249	143	53	53
19	I'll write you something for reptile dysfunction.	1.6364	0.04906	264	149	62	53
20	I understand you have concerns about a reptile dysfunction.	1.6356	0.05458	225	131	45	49
21	Reptile dysfunction.	1.6293	0.05186	232	131	56	45
22	How far apart are the contractions ?	1.6292	0.05114	240	136	57	47
23	Just as I thought..you are suffering from a reptile dysfunction.	1.6292	0.05181	240	138	53	49
24	No, a heart attack feels more like an elephant sitting on your chest.	1.6265	0.04900	249	138	66	45
25	It could be reptile dysfunction	1.6214	0.05203	243	143	49	51
26	Nice try, but I'm still going to check your prostate.	1.6207	0.04755	261	145	70	46
27	It’s a cute reptile dysfunction. What did you think I said?	1.6190	0.05178	231	132	55	44
28	You have symptoms of a reptile dysfunction.	1.6179	0.04802	280	164	59	57
29	It appears that you're suffering from a reptile disfunction.	1.6176	0.05525	238	149	31	58
30	I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. It's endangered.	1.6165	0.04565	266	144	80	42
31	You have an overactive adder.	1.6164	0.05214	219	123	57	39
32	It's just a reptile dysfunction.	1.6102	0.05089	254	152	49	53
33	"It's just reptile dysfunction. Nothing to be embarrassed about."	1.6085	0.05188	235	138	51	46
34	Don’t tell me. You ordered from the wrong Amazon.	1.6062	0.05094	226	128	59	39
35	The good news is we can safely remove the snake. The bad news is those aren't your legs.	1.6059	0.05137	236	138	53	45
36	Release ten mice in your living room and call me in the morning.	1.6057	0.04798	246	137	69	40
37	Says here you’re covered by COBRA?	1.6053	0.05059	228	129	60	39
38	I’ll give you something for a reptile dysfunction.	1.6048	0.05035	248	146	54	48
39	Worst case of Reptile Dysfunction I've come across.	1.6035	0.05079	227	129	59	39
40	You have a classic case of reptile dysfunction.	1.6035	0.05304	227	135	47	45
41	How often are the contractions?	1.6016	0.04767	246	137	70	39
42	It’s going around.	1.6008	0.04589	263	146	76	41
43	How frequent are the contractions?	1.5992	0.04729	262	150	67	45
44	And how far apart are the contractions?	1.5967	0.05125	243	146	49	48
45	Here’s a prescription for your reptile disfunction.	1.5958	0.04866	240	136	65	39
46	Looks as if you may have picked up a little something during your trip to Florida.	1.5943	0.04733	244	136	71	37
47	My bad. I meant to prescribe a vasoconstrictor.	1.5938	0.04757	256	147	66	43
48	Luckily, you're covered by Cobra.	1.5927	0.05012	248	148	53	47
49	Next time, try ordering from Amazon, not from THE Amazon.	1.5907	0.04808	237	133	68	36
50	Nice try. I still have to do the prostate exam.”	1.5906	0.04918	254	151	56	47
51	Come back when contractions are two minutes apart.	1.5903	0.05203	227	135	50	42
52	Last week it was a frog in your throat.	1.5902	0.04525	266	149	77	40
53	I’m writing you a prescription for reptile dysfunction.	1.5889	0.04903	253	150	57	46
54	It's clearly Ereptile Disfunction.	1.5887	0.05132	231	137	52	42
55	Well, I’d say it’s quite likely you have irritable boa syndrome.	1.5880	0.04987	233	135	59	39
56	It appears to be Reptile Dysfunction.	1.5875	0.04779	257	150	63	44
57	I can see here that you’re covered by COBRA.	1.5871	0.04860	264	159	55	50
58	I see that you're covered by COBRA.	1.5848	0.05148	224	132	53	39
59	I believe that you suffer from a reptile dysfunction, Mr. Collins.	1.5840	0.05113	250	155	44	51
60	And now, how far apart are the contractions?	1.5811	0.04699	265	156	64	45
61	You have a reptile dysfunction. Luckily, your COBRA covers it.	1.5810	0.04844	253	150	59	44
62	Looks like irritable boa syndrome.	1.5809	0.04896	241	141	60	40
63	Your insurance only pays if the snake bites, so let’s give it ten more minutes.	1.5804	0.05228	224	135	48	41
64	So how far apart are the contractions, would you say?	1.5769	0.04774	260	155	60	45
65	I see here that you're covered by COBRA	1.5766	0.05087	248	154	45	49
66	The good news is they sometimes go months without eating."	1.5761	0.04833	243	142	62	39
67	Which one of you is having difficulty swallowing?	1.5759	0.04658	257	149	68	40
68	So, it started with a frog in your throat ...	1.5748	0.04768	254	150	62	42
69	This is a classic case of a reptile disfunction.	1.5747	0.04730	261	155	62	44
70	It was supposed to be a vasoconstrictor. Sometimes they have problems with the handwriting.	1.5737	0.04912	251	152	54	45
71	Actually, I'd prefer that your lawyer wait outside.	1.5733	0.05125	232	141	49	42
72	I see you have a pre-existing constriction...	1.5732	0.04934	239	142	57	40
73	You can go home for now, but come back when the contractions are less than a minute apart.	1.5714	0.04760	259	155	60	44
74	You have irritable Boa syndrome.	1.5703	0.04885	263	163	50	50
75	The good news is you’re covered by COBRA.	1.5699	0.04491	272	158	73	41
76	Sorry about your cat.	1.5684	0.04758	234	134	67	33
77	I am going to write you a prescription for reptile dysfunction.	1.5680	0.05059	250	157	44	49
78	Unfortunately, this is not covered by your COBRA insurance.	1.5660	0.05351	212	130	44	38
79	Come back when constrictions are 2 to 3 minutes apart.	1.5657	0.04751	251	149	62	40
80	The good news is that the hissing you’ve been hearing isn’t tinnitus.	1.5657	0.04475	251	141	78	32
81	Until you get swallowed, it's considered a pre-existing condition.	1.5652	0.04853	253	154	55	44
82	You need to unwind.	1.5639	0.04318	266	149	84	33
83	Don't let this rattle you, but what you are experiencing is a reptile dysfunction."	1.5625	0.05029	240	148	49	43
84	The X-rays are back and the good news is we've found your kids	1.5620	0.04780	258	157	57	44
85	Endangered species. My hands are tied.	1.5620	0.04780	258	157	57	44
86	I see you're still covered by COBRA.	1.5617	0.05079	235	145	48	42
87	Looks like a case of reptile dysfunction	1.5615	0.04861	244	147	57	40
88	I'm sorry, Mr. Jones. It looks like you have a case of reptile dysfunction.	1.5602	0.05048	241	150	47	44
89	Nothing for you but, I'm prescribing a muscle relaxer for your friend.	1.5602	0.04637	266	160	63	43
90	I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover reptile dysfunction!	1.5584	0.05040	231	141	51	39
91	It's a classic case of ereptile dysfunction	1.5582	0.04717	249	148	63	38
92	Luckily, you're covered under COBRA.	1.5572	0.04630	271	165	61	45
93	Sorry , you're not covered for prexisting constrictions.	1.5564	0.04608	266	160	64	42
94	I’ll need you to hiss in this cup.	1.5546	0.04852	238	143	58	37
95	Hmm, unfortunately it looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.5541	0.04929	231	139	56	36
96	It looks likes a snake, but I'm going to schedule a pet scan just to be sure.	1.5541	0.04891	231	138	58	35
97	Don’t be ashamed, Ereptile Dysfunction is more common than you would think	1.5538	0.04791	251	153	57	41
98	I’m afraid we don’t cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.5527	0.04942	237	145	53	39
99	Vick's Viper rub should do the trick.	1.5526	0.04941	228	137	56	35
100	It's completely normal Mr. Richards...lots of men your age suffer from reptile dysfunction.	1.5525	0.05058	219	132	53	34
101	Nice try, but I am still going to do your prostate exam.	1.5523	0.04980	239	148	50	41
102	I see you’re covered under COBRA	1.5523	0.05051	239	150	46	43
103	I see you're covered by COBRA.	1.5519	0.04878	241	147	55	39
104	It says here you are covered by Cobra.	1.5514	0.04881	243	149	54	40
105	I thought a reptile dysfunction was misspelled.	1.5508	0.05067	236	148	46	42
106	Actually, this is the one thing your plan does cover.	1.5500	0.04786	240	144	60	36
107	Let's talk about your COBRA coverage.	1.5481	0.04911	239	147	53	39
108	So I see you have cobra insurance.	1.5481	0.05052	239	151	45	43
109	As soon as she’s done taking your blood pressure, she’ll do the prostate check.	1.5473	0.04705	243	145	63	35
110	No, a heart attack feels more like an elephant on your chest.	1.5455	0.04423	253	146	76	31
111	And when was his last meal?	1.5451	0.04746	233	138	63	32
112	The pharmacist must have misread the type of vasoconstrictor I was prescribing.	1.5447	0.04792	235	141	60	34
113	Not quite the COBRA coverage you expected from your former employer?	1.5441	0.04744	261	163	54	44
114	Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.5433	0.04685	254	155	60	39
115	Unfortunately, I see you only have COBRA insurance.	1.5411	0.04896	231	141	55	35
116	Have you tried vigorously twirling counterclockwise?	1.5372	0.04463	242	140	74	28
117	Bad news, I'm afraid. Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.5365	0.04903	233	144	53	36
118	And then she just left you two in the garden?	1.5365	0.04827	233	142	57	34
119	The good news is that the frog in your throat is no longer a problem.	1.5363	0.04741	248	153	57	38
120	It's probably just an anaconda, but we'll want to run some tests.	1.5357	0.04440	252	148	73	31
121	Well, Adam, your insurance says Original Sin is a preexisting condition.	1.5347	0.04821	245	153	53	39
122	Well, the tests confirmed you are suffering from Irritable Boa Syndrome.	1.5347	0.04572	245	146	67	32
123	Your snake's fine. I just want to remind you again that there is no need to take your clothes off at a veterinarian's office.	1.5342	0.05065	219	136	49	34
124	Let me know when the contractions are a about a minute apart.	1.5339	0.04947	221	135	54	32
125	It appears you have ereptile dysfunction.	1.5331	0.04678	257	160	57	40
126	You say you're covered by COBRA?	1.5325	0.04782	231	140	59	32
127	So, which one of you is Howard?	1.5322	0.04866	233	144	54	35
128	I think you misunderstood when your employer told you that you were going to need COBRA coverage.	1.5316	0.04913	237	149	50	38
129	Are you still covered by COBRA?	1.5314	0.04490	271	167	64	40
130	When the contractions are two minutes apart, you probably ought to go to the hospital.	1.5310	0.04599	258	159	61	38
131	‘The good news is that you’re fully covered by your cobra plan.’	1.5304	0.04993	230	145	48	37
132	First, let’s order a PET scan.	1.5299	0.04455	251	149	71	31
133	Is this new or a preexisting constriction?	1.5287	0.04292	261	153	78	30
134	And I see you're now covered by COBRA.	1.5284	0.05010	229	145	47	37
135	I see your COBRA's kicked in.	1.5276	0.04589	254	156	62	36
136	Let me know when the contractions come five minutes apart.	1.5273	0.04595	256	158	61	37
137	I'm referring you to a mongoose.	1.5259	0.04631	251	155	60	36
138	Okay, let's go over it again: You swallowed a spider to catch the fly...	1.5254	0.04706	236	144	60	32
139	Just checking my records. Are you still covered by COBRA?	1.5253	0.04581	257	159	61	37
140	I’m writing you a prescription for your ereptile dysfunction.	1.5251	0.05230	219	142	39	38
141	I think we'll skip the prostate exam this time"	1.5250	0.04684	240	147	60	33
142	EREPTILE Dysfunction! Ha ha, get it? But seriously, get it off.	1.5250	0.04867	240	152	50	38
143	It's nothing serious, just something that's going around.	1.5250	0.04794	240	150	54	36
144	It’s “Adam”, right?	1.5249	0.04823	221	134	58	29
145	How much longer do you have Cobra coverage?	1.5248	0.04940	242	156	45	41
146	Sarah, call Mrs. Blakely, tell her her snake is fine, and we found her husband.	1.5244	0.04739	246	154	55	37
147	You definitely picked something up on your trip to South America.	1.5236	0.04487	254	154	67	33
148	I'm not sure COBRA covers this.	1.5232	0.04805	237	148	54	35
149	My hands are tied - it’s a protected species.	1.5230	0.04662	239	146	61	32
150	It's coilitis.	1.5227	0.04520	264	164	62	38
151	I’m going to have you stand and turn counterclockwise 4 times as fast as you can	1.5212	0.04319	259	154	75	30
152	I see that you’re fully covered by COBRA.	1.5212	0.04748	259	167	49	43
153	I'm sorry, but your health plan doesn't cover reptile dysfunction.	1.5212	0.04932	236	151	47	38
154	Sooo....what brings you in today?	1.5208	0.04534	240	144	67	29
155	I'm calling it 'constricted bowel' for insurance purposes.	1.5208	0.04610	240	146	63	31
156	Sorry to say, but I think it’s e-boa.	1.5206	0.04289	267	160	75	32
157	Ereptile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed about.	1.5205	0.04858	219	134	56	29
158	You came to the right place, reptile dysfunction is my specialty.	1.5190	0.04386	289	183	62	44
159	I’m sorry sir, but your insurance doesn’t cover pre-existing constrictions	1.5190	0.04843	237	150	51	36
160	Please stick out your other tongue.	1.5189	0.04457	264	163	65	36
161	I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. It’s on the endangered species list.	1.5188	0.04663	239	147	60	32
162	You have Reptile Dysfunction. I'm prescribing Snake Oil, which is covered by TrumpCare.	1.5187	0.04653	268	173	51	44
163	To my utter surprise, this IS actually covered under your plan.	1.5172	0.04496	261	162	63	36
164	Ironically, your COBRA coverage just ran out.	1.5171	0.04816	234	147	53	34
165	So the tests all came back positive. It is a snake.	1.5168	0.04753	238	149	55	34
166	What brings you in today?	1.5164	0.04841	244	157	48	39
167	Just a mild case of viper tension.	1.5153	0.04778	229	142	56	31
168	Now let me get this straight: You were in this garden with a naked woman eating apples ....	1.5145	0.04744	241	152	54	35
169	So I see you're here for ereptile disfunction	1.5143	0.04720	245	155	54	36
170	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.5141	0.04662	249	157	56	36
171	Yes, we've being seeing a lot of Irritable Boa Syndrome this season.	1.5141	0.04696	249	158	54	37
172	Sir, ereptile dysfunction is not my area of expertise	1.5127	0.04631	236	145	61	30
173	This thing has been going around.	1.5126	0.04640	238	147	60	31
174	This isn’t covered under COBRA.	1.5126	0.04864	238	153	48	37
175	Your insurance company is concerned that it may be a preexisting constriction.	1.5125	0.04723	240	151	55	34
176	So it wasn't a typo. You do have a large asp.	1.5125	0.04723	240	151	55	34
177	The good news is we’ve made great strides in treating A Reptile Dysfunction.	1.5124	0.04766	242	154	52	36
178	Ah, Mr. Smith. I see you've met Victor. Victor is the head of our billing department.	1.5123	0.04736	244	155	53	36
179	So, how long have you been experiencing ereptile dysfunction?	1.5122	0.04706	246	156	54	36
180	Nice try, but I'm still going ahead with your colonoscopy.	1.5121	0.04676	248	157	55	36
181	Off hand, I'd say you are being suffocated by a snake, but just to make sure I'm going to order a bunch of tests.	1.5115	0.04612	262	168	54	40
182	I'm sorry, but this is a preexisting constriction .	1.5106	0.04762	235	148	54	33
183	And after surgery you’ll have a super cute bag and matching shoes.	1.5105	0.04769	237	150	53	34
184	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover preexisting constrictions.	1.5104	0.04781	241	154	51	36
185	The good news is that you no longer have that monkey on your back.	1.5104	0.04597	241	149	61	31
186	Nice try, Mr. Jones, but you can't avoid a prostate exam.	1.5104	0.04634	241	150	59	32
187	The good news is that it’s covered by your COBRA benefits.	1.5098	0.04475	255	158	64	33
188	So, you have no idea what happened to your therapy dog?	1.5097	0.04483	257	160	63	34
189	Are you covered under COBRA?	1.5096	0.04594	261	167	55	39
190	Nice try, Mr Rosen, but there's no escaping your prostate exam.	1.5088	0.05031	228	149	42	37
191	As you, no doubt, surmised, you did not receive the placebo.	1.5065	0.04787	231	146	53	32
192	Ironically, yes, I do believe this is covered under your COBRA.	1.5063	0.04694	237	149	56	32
193	Don’t worry. Ereptile disfunction is very common for men your age.	1.5063	0.04953	237	156	42	39
194	But many things can cause tightness in the chest. Let's not jump to conclusions.	1.5061	0.04327	247	148	73	26
195	So this is the only COBRA coverage you could afford?	1.5059	0.04645	255	164	53	38
196	I'm sorry, it's a pre-existing constriction.	1.5058	0.04449	257	160	64	33
197	'Looks like its just something that's going around.."	1.5057	0.04348	265	164	68	33
198	It's just something that's going around	1.5055	0.04407	273	173	62	38
199	It will continue to constrict you until you can no longer take a breath. But enough about your insurance company.	1.5055	0.04704	275	185	41	49
200	Just to clarify...you say this started with a frog in your throat?	1.5046	0.04822	216	134	55	27
201	"It's all in your mind. The condition is called hypoanacondria.	1.5044	0.04868	226	144	50	32
202	It's just a little something to help you both unwind.	1.5044	0.04745	226	141	56	29
203	I'm so sorry, we only accept COBRA here.	1.5042	0.04828	238	154	48	36
204	So how long have you been covered by Cobra?	1.5000	0.04761	240	155	50	35
205	Any tightness or difficulty breathing?	1.5000	0.04576	226	138	63	25
206	I'm writing you a prescription for a mongoose.	1.5000	0.04542	234	144	63	27
207	Your insurance provider has denied coverage based on a pre-existing constriction.	1.5000	0.04671	236	149	56	31
208	We got the monkey off your back, but you’ll need to see a specialist for this one.	1.5000	0.04458	240	147	66	27
209	This is why early detection is so important. Once they swallow you whole, our options are limited.	1.5000	0.04426	248	153	66	29
210	Good news: it’s not poisonous. Bad news: it’s endangered.	1.5000	0.04748	236	151	52	33
211	I'm writing a prescription for something to help you unwind.	1.5000	0.04723	230	145	55	30
212	I'm sorry, but COBRA and BOA are actually two separate policies.	1.5000	0.04946	214	136	49	29
213	So, cost was not what you meant when you said you were getting squeezed by COBRA.	1.5000	0.05004	234	156	39	39
214	With your plan, it's the only way to measure your blood pressure. Just wait until you see how we check your prostate.	1.5000	0.05143	226	152	35	39
215	So where's the gerbil now?"	1.5000	0.04597	270	178	49	43
216	Unfortunately there’s no cure for e-reptile dysfunction.	1.4981	0.04607	267	176	49	42
217	Give him two white mice and call me in the morning	1.4981	0.04225	267	164	73	30
218	I'm prescribing you an antihisstamine.	1.4981	0.04457	259	164	61	34
219	I’m going to prescribe a laxative for the snake. You should pass through in a day or two.	1.4981	0.04346	257	159	68	30
220	I'm prescribing you an oboe and a basket -- should work like a charm.	1.4981	0.04551	257	165	56	36
221	He just ate a whole pig, so you should be safe for the next month.	1.4980	0.04476	255	161	61	33
222	It looks like you’re covered under COBRA.	1.4980	0.04663	249	161	52	36
223	So what are we seeing you for today?	1.4980	0.04614	245	156	56	33
224	I’m afraid I will have to charge you for my missing receptionist.	1.4980	0.04650	245	157	54	34
225	My first concern is the location of the tail.	1.4979	0.04417	243	149	67	27
226	No, you can leave the snake on.	1.4962	0.04444	260	165	61	34
227	Well, the test results finally came back, and you were right--it is a Burmese python.	1.4959	0.04431	242	149	66	27
228	It looks like your cobra covers fifty percent	1.4955	0.05022	224	148	41	35
229	What brought you here today?	1.4943	0.04497	261	168	57	36
230	So now is probably a terrible time to tell you we no longer accept COBRA.	1.4941	0.04740	253	168	45	40
231	I'm sorry but your policy does not cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.4939	0.04656	247	160	52	35
232	There is nothing we can do about your snake but on the bright side I think we know where your hamster went	1.4937	0.04539	237	148	61	28
233	As your vet, I think the first thing to do is remove that man who's stuck in the middle of you	1.4933	0.04925	225	147	45	33
234	Well, if it was a COBRA, you’d be covered...	1.4933	0.04835	223	143	50	30
235	I'll write the prescription more legibly this time.	1.4921	0.04585	252	163	54	35
236	It says on your insurance paperwork that you're covered by COBRA; is that correct?	1.4919	0.04741	246	162	47	37
237	You needn't have removed your socks.	1.4919	0.04563	246	157	57	32
238	... sorry, it says here you’re only covered if he actually bites you.”	1.4917	0.04497	240	150	62	28
239	It says here that this is a pre-existing constriction.	1.4908	0.04876	218	140	49	29
240	And just what brings you in today?	1.4906	0.04323	267	169	65	33
241	Bad news, Harold. I’m afraid you have Ereptile Dysfunction.	1.4905	0.04471	263	170	57	36
242	About your insurance--it seems you have COBRA?	1.4903	0.04617	257	169	50	38
243	COBRA plan?	1.4903	0.04275	257	159	70	28
244	So what brings you here?	1.4899	0.04656	247	161	51	35
245	Sorry, but this is a python and you have COBRA.	1.4895	0.04664	239	154	53	32
246	While I would love to help out, he's endangered whereas you are merely screwed.	1.4895	0.04880	237	158	42	37
247	Chest pain. Shortness of breath. Decreased mobility of the upper extremities. We're going to want to run some tests.	1.4893	0.04677	233	149	54	30
248	Here is your letter about your Emotional Support Snake, now you must convince the Airline .	1.4882	0.04625	254	167	50	37
249	'Looks like you got the full Monty python.'	1.4881	0.04445	252	160	61	31
250	Your insurance form says you have COBRA coverage.	1.4881	0.04721	252	168	45	39
251	Well scaly dry skin is very common in the winter months.	1.4880	0.04543	250	161	56	33
252	Let's have a follow-up appointment when the contractions are less than five minutes apart.	1.4878	0.04670	246	161	50	35
253	No. I said use a vapor rub	1.4874	0.04678	238	154	52	32
254	Unfortunately this isn't covered under your COBRA insurance.	1.4873	0.04747	236	154	49	33
255	I'm afraid this won't be covered under your COBRA insurance.	1.4873	0.04709	236	153	51	32
256	Well, at least you’re covered by COBRA.	1.4870	0.05034	230	156	36	38
257	And remember this next time you promise to drain the swamp.	1.4868	0.04834	228	149	47	32
258	You just need to go home and unwind.	1.4868	0.04477	265	173	55	37
259	That’s going to make your prostate exam more challenging.	1.4867	0.04339	263	167	64	32
260	I can remove him, no problem, just be more careful around humans in the future.”	1.4865	0.04893	222	145	46	31
261	Do you hear a rattle when you cough?	1.4864	0.04516	257	167	55	35
262	Would you prefer a gown?	1.4863	0.04475	255	164	58	33
263	Unfortunately, this won't be covered by Cobra.	1.4861	0.05249	216	148	31	37
264	So...what brings you here today Mr. Jones?	1.4858	0.04620	247	161	52	34
265	Honestly Dan, I think you need to reconsider your choice of a support animal.	1.4857	0.04685	245	161	49	35
266	So, tell me why you’re here.	1.4855	0.04671	241	157	51	33
267	Well...despite what WebMD says, the numbness in your legs isn't cancer.	1.4855	0.04634	241	156	53	32
268	This is one time that I think snake oil will really work.	1.4854	0.04738	239	157	48	34
269	I'm sorry, but your COBRA doesn't cover everything.	1.4854	0.04848	239	160	42	37
270	Otherwise, it was a good vacation?	1.4851	0.04343	268	172	62	34
271	Any trouble swallowing?	1.4848	0.04460	231	143	64	24
272	I'm going to prescribe a small goat to help relieve that tightness.	1.4846	0.04342	260	165	64	31
273	Your plan doesn't cover this, but I can refer you to a Pentecostal church.	1.4845	0.04262	258	161	69	28
274	Have you considered a service dog?	1.4844	0.04392	256	163	62	31
275	I don't think this is covered in your COBRA policy	1.4843	0.04917	223	147	44	32
276	I noticed that you answered "no" to the question "Do you feel safe at home?"	1.4841	0.04584	252	165	52	35
277	This should be quick. I’ll just need you to stand up, turn around and drop the snake to your ankles, please.	1.4841	0.04444	252	161	60	31
278	I see you have COBRA coverage.	1.4837	0.04775	246	165	43	38
279	Well, the good news is we were able to remove the mole.”	1.4835	0.04251	273	174	66	33
280	You may want to reconsider your choice of an Emotional Support Animal.	1.4829	0.04598	263	176	47	40
281	Snake's date of birth?	1.4829	0.04371	263	169	61	33
282	The good news is your cholesterol levels are fine. The bad news is your blood pressure is 650 over 400.	1.4828	0.04611	232	148	56	28
283	And what seems to be the trouble today?	1.4823	0.04660	226	144	55	27
284	It is going around, I can tell you thát.	1.4822	0.04431	253	162	60	31
285	Yes, we do accept Cobra coverage.	1.4818	0.04798	220	142	50	28
286	Let me explain again the difference between a restrictive diet and a constrictive diet.	1.4812	0.04548	239	153	57	29
287	I'm going to prescribe you a mongoose. Should clear that right up.	1.4810	0.04616	237	153	54	30
288	Put two mice in the corner every four hours.	1.4803	0.04624	254	169	48	37
289	Sad to say, your COBRA doesn't even cover it.	1.4802	0.04728	227	147	51	29
290	As a veterinarian, I don't see anything wrong with him.	1.4800	0.04361	250	158	64	28
291	It appears you are suffering from vipertension.	1.4800	0.04589	225	142	58	25
292	Well I've narrowed it down to workplace stress, or the snake.	1.4797	0.04413	246	156	62	28
293	Give him two small mice and call me in the morning!	1.4797	0.04598	246	161	52	33
294	Does anyone besides you see the snake?	1.4795	0.04478	244	156	59	29
295	And is this snake in the room with you right now?	1.4792	0.04610	240	156	53	31
296	And you say this all started when he gave your wife an apple?	1.4792	0.04648	240	157	51	32
297	Hissing in your ears?	1.4786	0.04334	234	144	68	22
298	Sorry for the wait, Mr. Baker....So, what brings you in to see us today?	1.4784	0.04610	232	149	55	28
299	Mmmhm... and how far apart are the constrictions?	1.4784	0.04298	255	161	66	28
300	I'm afraid I specialize in internal medicine. Come back once it has consumed you.	1.4783	0.04431	230	143	64	23
301	Of course if it swallows you first we’ll have to try something more aggressive:	1.4781	0.04421	251	161	60	30
302	I see you’ve met our claims adjuster.	1.4778	0.04474	270	180	51	39
303	I'm not so much concerned about when you last ate, as I am with when it last ate.	1.4770	0.04045	283	178	75	30
304	Unfortunately, your COBRA doesn't cover this.	1.4770	0.04737	239	159	46	34
305	It's nothing serious but if it bothers you I can remove it.	1.4769	0.04591	216	135	59	22
306	It could be the python, but we'll run lots of tests to be sure.	1.4756	0.04674	225	145	53	27
307	I’m going to prescribe a mongoose.	1.4754	0.04515	244	158	56	30
308	Otherwise, you're in perfect health.	1.4754	0.04324	244	153	66	25
309	Well... I have your test results and it's definitely Irritable Boa Syndrome.	1.4754	0.04439	244	156	60	28
310	I think we should to a PET scan	1.4754	0.04285	244	152	68	24
311	This should hold you until you can afford the gastric band.	1.4753	0.04501	263	175	51	37
312	Trust me, this is more effective than an enema.	1.4743	0.04465	253	165	56	32
313	I see you picked up something from your trip to the Amazon.	1.4743	0.04358	253	162	62	29
314	So which one of you is the patient?	1.4741	0.04384	251	161	61	29
315	My problem with these trendy diets is that as soon as the snake comes off, you're eating again.	1.4739	0.04210	268	171	67	30
316	Your vitals are OK. Your bloodwork is good. No sign of heart disease. So I'm going to say the tightness in your chest is from the snake.	1.4737	0.04285	247	155	67	25
317	It says here your insurance doesn't cover preexisting constrictions.	1.4733	0.04453	281	191	47	43
318	Yeah, it’s going around.	1.4731	0.04236	260	165	67	28
319	OK you can put your pants back on	1.4729	0.04260	258	164	66	28
320	Sorry, this is Hematology. You want Herpetology.	1.4726	0.04334	237	148	66	23
321	I'm going to write you a little something to help you unwind.	1.4724	0.04162	254	158	72	24
322	This is the last letter I'm writing for your emotional support animal.	1.4721	0.04752	233	155	46	32
323	Sorry sir, this doesn't qualify you for medical marijuana.	1.4721	0.04594	233	151	54	28
324	Buy a mongoose and use as directed.	1.4714	0.04807	227	151	45	31
325	Sorry, you only have COBRA coverage.	1.4713	0.04697	244	164	45	35
326	He may not be in your network, but I can refer you to an excellent mongoose.	1.4709	0.04574	223	142	57	24
327	Two mice every fours hours.	1.4706	0.04521	238	154	56	28
328	Yes, we've recently been seeing a lot of this in South Florida. It's called Reptile Disfunction.	1.4704	0.04503	270	183	47	40
329	Well I see that you have COBRA coverage.	1.4701	0.04490	251	165	54	32
330	Shortness of breath can be caused by many things. Let’s not jump to conclusions.	1.4701	0.04538	234	151	56	27
331	Good news. It's not your prostate.	1.4699	0.04299	266	173	61	32
332	Preliminary tests indicate it's a snake.	1.4699	0.04332	266	174	59	33
333	I’m prescribing an anti-hssstamine.	1.4699	0.04335	249	159	63	27
334	Trust me. This is the best remedy for constipation you’ve ever seen.	1.4699	0.04624	249	167	47	35
335	I checked with your COBRA plan and unfortunately they aren't going to cover it.	1.4696	0.04826	247	171	36	40
336	I'm afraid this will be out-of-pocket for you. Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.4696	0.04679	230	151	50	29
337	So what seems to be bothering you?	1.4693	0.04750	228	151	47	30
338	Good. I see you have COBRA coverage.	1.4692	0.04440	260	172	54	34
339	Well, your labs all came back normal. So, I guess we’re back to square one.	1.4690	0.04364	258	168	59	31
340	And does Eve have a last name?	1.4690	0.04259	258	165	65	28
341	Actually, when I said a pet could help lower your blood pressure, I was thinking more of a dog or a cat.	1.4690	0.04398	258	169	57	32
342	Good thing you're covered by Cobra.	1.4689	0.04279	273	179	60	34
343	So, how can I help you today?	1.4688	0.04424	256	168	56	32
344	What seems to be the trouble today?	1.4686	0.04735	239	161	44	34
345	It works like any laxative, but faster.	1.4685	0.04676	222	144	52	26
346	The good news is that the cancer won't kill you.	1.4683	0.04333	252	162	62	28
347	Let me guess...your covered by COBRA.	1.4682	0.05048	220	151	35	34
348	Well, I don't know what to tell you. All your labs came back normal.	1.4681	0.04681	235	156	48	31
349	So, to recap. You were picking apples. A naked woman said: ‘want one?’ And that’s the last you remember.	1.4681	0.04275	235	146	68	21
350	Well, of course, that could be the source of your chest pain, but wouldn’t you feel better if we ran a few tests first?	1.4675	0.04821	231	156	42	33
351	Any changes since your last check up?	1.4669	0.04348	242	154	63	25
352	You had your Lap-Band surgery in Brazil?	1.4669	0.04234	257	164	66	27
353	The real problem is you have a frog in your throat.	1.4669	0.04291	272	179	59	34
354	You say you caught it on a plane?	1.4667	0.04293	240	151	66	23
355	A rattle could mean any number of things.	1.4664	0.04283	253	162	64	27
356	I never thought I'd say this, but I think a bottle of snake oil might do the trick.	1.4664	0.04532	253	169	50	34
357	I'm sorry, but your insurance does not cover pre-existing constrictions.	1.4664	0.04712	238	160	45	33
358	And Eve, how is she feeling today?	1.4664	0.04712	238	160	45	33
359	Do you need a minute to unwind?	1.4661	0.04666	236	157	48	31
360	I’m prescribing a muscle relaxant - good luck getting her to take it.	1.4659	0.04296	249	159	64	26
361	I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but this isn't covered by COBRA.	1.4658	0.04657	234	155	49	30
362	It says here you have a service animal?	1.4656	0.04313	262	171	60	31
363	What brought you in today?	1.4653	0.04385	245	158	60	27
364	Yes, there is something definitely going around.	1.4651	0.04150	258	163	70	25
365	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant -- not for you, for your friend.	1.4646	0.04483	226	144	59	23
366	More testing, yes. But my gut says it's the giant reticulated python.	1.4643	0.04729	224	148	48	28
367	Just one more question...how did you get that shirt off?	1.4640	0.04804	222	148	45	29
368	Lucky for you your COBRA coverage has kicked in.	1.4638	0.04719	235	158	45	32
369	The most puzzling question, Sir, is how you took your shirt off!”	1.4638	0.04757	235	159	43	33
370	I'm sorry. It looks like your COBRA coverage expired 2 weeks ago.	1.4632	0.04580	231	151	53	27
371	You just need to unwind	1.4628	0.04385	242	156	60	26
372	So, you're insured through COBRA?	1.4627	0.04538	255	172	48	35
373	Let's try something to help you unwind.	1.4624	0.04196	266	172	65	29
374	I won't lie to you, Barry. Your snake has a mild cold.	1.4624	0.04128	266	170	69	27
375	I will prescribe a mongoose. If that doesn’t work, come back next week	1.4622	0.04277	238	150	66	22
376	No, I prescribed a VASOconstrictor. Guess the nurse is right. I do need to work on my handwriting.	1.4622	0.04380	251	164	58	29
377	Looks like you’ve caught something that’s been going around.	1.4621	0.04081	264	167	72	25
378	I’m not sure how to code this for the insurance.	1.4619	0.04344	236	150	63	23
379	Your medical insurance carrier has authorized me to unwind two loops.	1.4615	0.04433	247	162	56	29
380	Blame your HMO, it's the only gastric band they'll pay for.	1.4615	0.04454	234	151	58	25
381	Any other complaints?	1.4612	0.04440	232	149	59	24
382	Glad I could squeeze you in.	1.4609	0.04332	243	156	62	25
383	Yeah, there’s definitely something going around.	1.4609	0.04635	230	152	50	28
384	First time in Florida?	1.4606	0.04358	241	155	61	25
385	Well...your cholesterol is fine.	1.4605	0.04231	228	141	69	18
386	All the lab tests are coming back negative. Quite frankly, we’re baffled.	1.4604	0.04275	265	174	60	31
387	Here, this may help you unwind.	1.4596	0.04439	235	152	58	25
388	It's just something that's been going around.	1.4593	0.04215	246	156	67	23
389	It looks like a severe case of irritable boa syndrome.	1.4593	0.04482	246	163	53	30
390	These days we have many successful treatments for ereptile dysfunction.	1.4591	0.04476	257	173	50	34
391	I recommend a PET scan.	1.4590	0.04358	244	158	60	26
392	New York Fashion Week already?	1.4590	0.04358	244	158	60	26
393	I'll just need your signature in three places.	1.4589	0.04537	231	151	54	26
394	I could remove it but they usually come right back.	1.4587	0.04601	218	141	54	23
395	So, what brings you here today?	1.4587	0.04461	242	159	55	28
396	I'n prescribing a muscle relaxant for both of you.	1.4585	0.04244	253	163	64	26
397	It started with a frog in my throat.	1.4585	0.04530	253	171	48	34
398	We 'll have to run some expensive tests, but fortunately you're covered by Cobra.	1.4579	0.04937	214	145	40	29
399	Bad news: your insurance doesn't cover removing it. Good news: it qualifies as an Emotional Support Animal	1.4577	0.04266	260	170	61	29
400	Take two Aspirin and lie down on a flat rock in the sun.	1.4575	0.04123	247	155	71	21
401	You think you’re being squeezed now...wait til you see my bill.	1.4574	0.04569	223	145	54	24
402	Technically yes, it does make you look fat.	1.4564	0.04317	241	155	62	24
403	So who am I here to see today?	1.4563	0.04180	252	161	67	24
404	I'm giving you something to help you unwind.	1.4563	0.04365	252	166	57	29
405	You're lucky - I squeezed you in today.	1.4561	0.04495	228	148	56	24
406	And what brings you in today?	1.4561	0.04452	228	147	58	23
407	The good news is that your hiccups are gone.	1.4561	0.04261	239	152	65	22
408	And what brings you into the office today?	1.4560	0.04204	250	160	66	24
409	I am sorry but your Cobra coverage has expired.	1.4559	0.04389	261	175	53	33
410	Monty, is that your python?	1.4558	0.04694	226	151	47	28
411	Well, some more bad news. You also have a tape worm.	1.4557	0.04647	237	160	46	31
412	And what else did the internet say about curing your sore throat?	1.4557	0.04491	237	156	54	27
413	Let me prescribe something to help you unwind.	1.4556	0.04305	248	161	61	26
414	How about we try no snake, and see if that helps?	1.4556	0.04242	259	169	62	28
415	This is the new colonoscopy prep. Works fast and most people like that they don't have to drink the two gallons of liquid.	1.4556	0.04277	259	170	60	29
416	Stick out your tongue. No, not you... him.	1.4553	0.04559	235	156	51	28
417	Can you sit up without your support animal?	1.4553	0.04292	246	159	62	25
418	I regret to inform you...it's the E-boa virus.	1.4553	0.04337	257	170	57	30
419	Your test results came back fine, but I'm afraid the snake has bronchitis.	1.4553	0.04121	257	164	69	24
420	I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. Tell me what brings you here today?	1.4553	0.04337	257	170	57	30
421	...and I would consider another service animal.	1.4549	0.04506	233	153	54	26
422	Tightening in the chest, hissing in the ears, any other symptoms Mr. Jones?	1.4545	0.04382	242	158	58	26
423	First tell me how you got here.	1.4545	0.04190	231	144	69	18
424	Good news. You're not having a heart attack.	1.4545	0.04576	231	153	51	27
425	and insurance ... okay, I see you're still covered by COBRA	1.4545	0.04343	242	157	60	25
426	For insurance purposes Iam just going to write tightness in chest.	1.4545	0.04458	253	170	51	32
427	The good news is we identified the problem. The bad news is he’s hungry.	1.4542	0.04448	240	158	55	27
428	You have a bad case of coilitis.	1.4541	0.04522	229	150	54	25
429	I'm sorry, it's an endangered species.	1.4539	0.04069	271	175	69	27
430	But it's more commonly known as Irritable Boa Syndrome.	1.4538	0.04366	249	164	57	28
431	I think you misunderstood when I suggested COBRA coverage!	1.4538	0.04512	249	168	49	32
432	Unfortunately, your new insurance won't pay for the scope, but Alice here knows her way around a colon. She'll be wearing a Go-Pro.	1.4538	0.04476	238	157	54	27
433	Hmm.. Bad news... you’re not covered for pre-existing constrictions...!	1.4537	0.04678	227	152	47	28
434	I'm prescribing an anti-compressant	1.4537	0.04678	227	152	47	28
435	Can't read this writing. Does it say it 'bowel constriction"...?	1.4537	0.04722	216	143	48	25
436	So - what seems to be the problem?	1.4535	0.04461	258	175	49	34
437	Other than attachment issues, he's in pretty good health.	1.4533	0.04449	225	145	58	22
438	No, there's little hope now. I'd recommend just getting the boots to match.	1.4531	0.04494	245	164	51	30
439	Any discomfort?	1.4531	0.04303	245	159	61	25
440	I guess we’ll have to skip the “take a deep breath” part	1.4529	0.04340	223	141	63	19
441	Yeah, this is probably the main drawback of the emotional-support snake.	1.4528	0.04371	265	179	52	34
442	Actually, I don't think your Cobra policy does cover this.	1.4524	0.04868	210	141	43	26
443	When did you become aware of the python, Monty?	1.4524	0.04400	252	168	54	30
444	Give it two hamsters and call me in the morning.	1.4520	0.04352	250	165	57	28
445	Here's something to help you unwind.	1.4517	0.04060	259	165	71	23
446	Yes, it's been going around.	1.4516	0.04424	217	138	60	19
447	It says here you have COBRA insurance?	1.4514	0.04300	257	170	58	29
448	I'm going to give you something for ereptile dysfunction.	1.4512	0.04731	246	172	37	37
449	I'd like to help but that's clearly a preexisting constriction.	1.4511	0.04517	235	156	52	27
450	So ‘Adam’ is it?	1.4508	0.04393	244	161	56	27
451	Give him one of these in the evening to help him unwind.	1.4508	0.04276	244	158	62	24
452	You can leave your snake on for this part of the exam.	1.4506	0.04166	253	163	66	24
453	I need you to take off your boa.	1.4505	0.04241	273	183	57	33
454	The results are in from the lab. It’s a python.	1.4504	0.04204	262	172	62	28
455	I'm sorry. Your COBRA plan doesn't over pythons.	1.4504	0.04374	262	177	52	33
456	The good news, it's not poisonous.	1.4502	0.04364	231	149	60	22
457	Sorry, but there's no cure for the common coiled.	1.4502	0.04533	231	153	52	26
458	He seems perfectly healthy	1.4500	0.04566	220	144	53	23
459	So, hissing sounds, tightness in the chest. Anything else?	1.4496	0.04434	238	157	55	26
460	As your vet, I'm going to prescribe a Valium to help you unwind, which should take care of that annoying human.	1.4492	0.04240	256	168	61	27
461	The good news is he says you're 120 over 80.	1.4490	0.04417	245	163	54	28
462	Good thing we were able to squeeze you in	1.4488	0.04478	254	173	48	33
463	Your eyes look good, so I'm taking you off the vasoconstrictor.	1.4488	0.04336	254	169	56	29
464	Take two live mice and call me in the morning.	1.4487	0.04191	263	173	62	28
465	So WebMD told you it was likely cancer?	1.4487	0.04191	263	173	62	28
466	Ice it three times a day until it hibernates.	1.4486	0.04659	214	141	50	23
467	Any difficulty swallowing?	1.4486	0.04327	243	159	59	25
468	Let's double the dosage on the muscle relaxer. Try giving it to the snake this time.	1.4486	0.04405	243	161	55	27
469	And you're saying the fruit was forbidden? By who exactly?	1.4481	0.04313	241	157	60	24
470	I think you just need to unwind.	1.4480	0.04424	250	168	52	30
471	When did you first notice a man in your coils?	1.4480	0.04387	250	167	54	29
472	You’re in luck...we accept Cobra.	1.4478	0.04711	230	157	43	30
473	As your veterinarian, I'm concerned that you've formed an unhealthy attachment to this man.	1.4478	0.04201	268	178	60	30
474	For a middle-aged snake your vitals look pretty good -- and I see your hunting skills are still up to par.	1.4477	0.04537	239	161	49	29
475	It might not be a panic attack after all.	1.4477	0.04003	277	180	70	27
476	I’ll order a coilonoscopy.	1.4474	0.04404	228	148	58	22
477	Any complaints since your last visit?	1.4473	0.04447	237	157	54	26
478	So, would you describe the pain as "dull," "aching," "shooting," or "crushing"?	1.4470	0.03967	264	168	74	22
479	Tell me again how you got your shirt off.	1.4467	0.04505	244	165	49	30
480	I highly recommend you set aside some time to unwind.	1.4463	0.04570	242	165	46	31
481	Well, the test results came back, and it turns out you have a large serpent wrapped around you.	1.4463	0.04178	242	155	66	21
482	I'm sorry, but this is considered a pre-existing condition.	1.4463	0.04570	242	165	46	31
483	You were better off when you were covered under COBRA.	1.4462	0.04552	251	173	44	34
484	Have you recently traveled outside of the United States?	1.4461	0.04221	269	180	58	31
485	When did you first start to feel contractions?	1.4459	0.04813	231	161	37	33
486	I think Alfred is fine, but I'm going prescribe him something for his separation anxiety.	1.4457	0.04142	276	184	61	31
487	Actually, I'd prescribed a vasoconstrictor. But your pressure has responded well.	1.4455	0.04848	211	143	42	26
488	Good news! I think we can save the snake.	1.4454	0.04392	238	157	56	25
489	This should get the two of you on the plane.	1.4454	0.04432	238	158	54	26
490	Any dryness, itching or shedding of skin?	1.4454	0.04185	238	152	66	20
491	Tell me again why you’re here.	1.4453	0.04302	265	179	54	32
492	It looks like you have a preexisting constriction.	1.4450	0.04730	218	147	45	26
493	I see the problem now, you can put your shirt back on.	1.4450	0.04640	218	145	49	24
494	I think it’s a pre-existing constriction.	1.4449	0.04797	227	157	39	31
495	You're fine, Bob, but your python has diarrhea. Good luck.	1.4449	0.04490	245	166	49	30
496	I think you need to unwind a bit.	1.4449	0.04049	263	170	69	24
497	I need you to remove the snake and put on that gown.	1.4449	0.04359	263	179	51	33
498	Is that the same one as last time?	1.4444	0.04124	243	155	68	20
499	Not to worry. I only use it for monitoring blood pressure, not for performing the actual colonoscopy.	1.4444	0.04592	243	167	44	32
500	Sorry, I'm a hematologist... I'm writing you a referral to the herpetologist.	1.4444	0.04285	243	159	60	24
501	I'm not sure COBRA will cover this.	1.4444	0.04369	270	186	48	36
502	He'll get hungry in about 6 weeks, but until then just don't piss him off.	1.4440	0.04166	268	178	61	29
503	I see you've met the drug rep.	1.4440	0.04530	250	172	45	33
504	Well it’s covered but only if your employer offers COBRA.	1.4440	0.04638	232	158	45	29
505	We find this gives a more accurate reading than the arm cuff.	1.4440	0.04718	232	160	41	31
506	Now which one of you two am I seeing today?	1.4436	0.04331	257	173	54	30
507	You're perfectly healthy. The snake just makes you look fat.	1.4435	0.04411	248	167	52	29
508	What brings you in to see me today?	1.4435	0.04299	248	164	58	26
509	You need to stop blaming Eve...	1.4435	0.04650	239	165	42	32
510	So, after trying alternative methods, you're ready to reconsider Western medicine?	1.4431	0.04356	255	172	53	30
511	Patients with your diagnosis have an average life expectancy of 45 minutes.	1.4431	0.04063	255	164	69	22
512	I'm glad we caught this early.	1.4426	0.04390	235	155	56	24
513	Next time, eat the apple.	1.4422	0.04335	251	168	55	28
514	I suggest you take some time to unwind.	1.4421	0.04492	242	164	49	29
515	The snake is in terrific shape.	1.4421	0.04297	242	159	59	24
516	We'll just need your signature here before we can begin treatment.	1.4421	0.04541	233	157	49	27
517	Results won’t be back for a few days, but from what I can tell, it’s a snake.	1.4419	0.04176	258	170	62	26
518	Were you dressed in something provacative?	1.4418	0.04506	249	171	46	32
519	You’ll find that a vasoconstrictor works much better.	1.4418	0.04434	249	169	50	30
520	It says here you're still covered by COBRA.	1.4418	0.04434	249	169	50	30
521	Two mice tonight, and call me in the morning.	1.4417	0.04363	240	159	56	25
522	It is ironic. Nevertheless, the condition is not covered while on COBRA insurance.	1.4416	0.04570	231	156	48	27
523	You’re fortunate we could squeeze you in today.	1.4414	0.04051	256	165	69	22
524	You can put your shirt on now.	1.4414	0.04482	256	177	45	34
525	You're lucky, my landlord won't even let me have a cat.	1.4412	0.04053	238	150	71	17
526	I still have to check your prostate.	1.4412	0.04587	238	163	45	30
527	So have you travelled outside the United States in the last 30 days?	1.4409	0.04260	254	169	58	27
528	Your snake's fine, Mr. Jones, but I suggest you see a physician immediately!	1.4409	0.04073	254	164	68	22
529	…and stay off planes.	1.4408	0.04179	245	159	64	22
530	Any recent lifestyle changes?	1.4407	0.04497	236	159	50	27
531	Your insurance says it looks like a pre-existing condition.	1.4405	0.04587	227	153	48	26
532	You say you think you picked this up on a plane?	1.4403	0.04162	243	157	65	21
533	Ok, so there's a few questions that I'll need to ask as you're a new patient. Do you smoke?	1.4402	0.04318	234	153	59	22
534	Feed it two good-sized rodents and call me in the morning.	1.4400	0.04309	250	167	56	27
535	It’s okay, choosing the right therapy animal takes time.	1.4400	0.04486	225	149	53	23
536	No, it's fine. A lot of my patients bring their comfort animals.	1.4400	0.04272	250	166	58	26
537	Well, the good news is that it isn't contagious.	1.4398	0.03869	266	169	77	20
538	You got something that's going around.	1.4398	0.04349	241	160	56	25
539	Here is a prescription for 25 mice. We'll see if that helps.	1.4395	0.04142	248	161	65	22
540	I'll give you something to help you unwind.	1.4394	0.04140	264	175	62	27
541	So what brings you into Urgent Care today?	1.4394	0.04035	264	172	68	24
542	Thanks to the Republicans this seems to be the one thing you actually have coverage for.	1.4393	0.04415	239	160	53	26
543	Could be the anaconda. Could be any number of things. Let's the what the lab results have to say.	1.4393	0.04533	239	163	47	29
544	You’ll never believe it, but last week I had a guy come in with a monkey on his back.	1.4393	0.04415	239	160	53	26
545	At the present time I'm less concerned about your flu symptoms than I am the whereabout of my resident assistant.	1.4393	0.04747	214	145	44	25
546	First, let me just say how impressed I am that you managed to change out of your clothes.	1.4392	0.04136	255	167	64	24
547	Would you describe the chest pain as sharp, dull or more of a constriction?	1.4390	0.04360	246	165	54	27
548	Perhaps you need a different kind of emotional support.	1.4390	0.04205	246	161	62	23
549	Any noticeable changes to your reptile dysfunction	1.4389	0.04435	262	182	45	35
550	Maybe we skip the colonoscopy today.	1.4389	0.04265	221	141	63	17
551	The nurse said remove everything, Mr. Chambers.	1.4388	0.04482	237	160	50	27
552	I'm sorry, but your COBRA policy does not cover large boa constriction.	1.4388	0.04639	237	164	42	31
553	I’m afraid you have the original preexisting condition.	1.4387	0.04308	253	170	55	28
554	Are you still with Eve?	1.4387	0.04308	253	170	55	28
555	Next of kin?	1.4386	0.04529	228	153	50	25
556	Shortness of breath is the most common side effect, but others experience constipation, skin irritation, and abject terror	1.4383	0.04707	235	164	39	32
557	We've found it works faster than laxatives.	1.4382	0.04406	251	171	50	30
558	Well, you're the third patient today with a mistaken Amazon delivery.	1.4382	0.04296	251	168	56	27
559	Well, the shortness of breath could be caused by any number of things.	1.4381	0.04514	226	151	51	24
560	I have a pretty good idea of what's going on but first I'm going to order a few tests.	1.4380	0.04295	242	160	58	24
561	She’s less accurate than the normal blood pressure machines, but she also helps with the mice.	1.4380	0.04413	242	163	52	27
562	I’m going to prescribe something to help you unwind.	1.4380	0.04566	242	167	44	31
563	The test results are back. We think it's a snake.	1.4380	0.04334	242	161	56	25
564	The good news is that we can rule out Lyme disease.	1.4380	0.04101	258	169	65	24
565	Oddly enough, COBRA does not cover cobra.	1.4378	0.04498	233	157	50	26
566	It’ll clear up with anti-hiss-tamines.	1.4378	0.04207	249	164	61	24
567	I’m prescribing a muscle relaxer.	1.4378	0.04168	249	163	63	23
568	So, have you been out of the country in the last six months?	1.4375	0.04440	240	162	51	27
569	Believe it or not, you're actually going to want to use snake oil for this.	1.4375	0.04514	256	179	42	35
570	I told you I accepted Cobra, not Boa.	1.4375	0.04479	240	163	49	28
571	I’ve seen this go a couple of ways ...	1.4370	0.03994	254	163	71	20
572	No, that's normal for boas. But if she still hasn't eaten anything by Monday, bring her back for another appointment.	1.4370	0.04184	254	168	61	25
573	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxer for your partner.	1.4370	0.04387	238	159	54	25
574	Ah, I see you brought your insurance company with you.	1.4370	0.04661	238	166	40	32
575	If there's nothing else I'll just go get my flute.	1.4369	0.04529	222	148	51	23
576	And when was you last boa movement?	1.4365	0.04463	252	174	46	32
577	Your emotional-support animal needs to come off too.	1.4363	0.04125	259	171	63	25
578	The tests were inconclusive. It's either a Burmese or Madagascar python.	1.4362	0.04160	243	158	64	21
579	Good news. It should fall off on its own in four to six days.	1.4361	0.04081	266	176	64	26
580	Look, I respect your persistence... but a snake coiled around your naked body is, again, not a good reason for me to prescribe medical marijuana.	1.4360	0.04194	250	165	61	24
581	And is Eve your ex-wife?	1.4358	0.04220	257	172	58	27
582	Do you have COBRA?	1.4356	0.04275	264	180	53	31
583	I thought you said BOWEL constriction.	1.4355	0.04370	248	168	52	28
584	I'm prescribing a strong mongoose.	1.4353	0.04342	232	153	57	22
585	Yes, Bob... definitely a case of Irritable Boa Syndrome.	1.4353	0.04244	255	171	57	27
586	And why did you come in today?	1.4350	0.04358	246	166	53	27
587	You're fine, but your snake is stressed out and needs to unwind.	1.4350	0.04042	246	158	69	19
588	Chest tightness, shortness of breath, feeling of impending doom...I think you’re having a panic attack.	1.4348	0.04342	253	172	52	29
589	How big was he when you got him? Where is your wife?	1.4348	0.04342	253	172	52	29
590	My apologies. It seems that 'topical anesthesia' was auto-corrected to 'tropical anaconda'...	1.4346	0.04324	260	178	51	31
591	You can get a second opinion if you want, but you really need to have that thing removed.	1.4344	0.04345	244	164	54	26
592	Has anything changed since last year's physical?	1.4342	0.04396	228	151	55	22
593	This is a more naturopathic approach for those with severe constipation.	1.4340	0.04627	235	163	42	30
594	Any other symptoms besides the tightness in your chest?	1.4340	0.04385	235	157	54	24
595	Frankly, I'm more concerned about your cholesterol.	1.4340	0.04730	212	144	44	24
596	You really need to find time to unwind	1.4336	0.04424	226	150	54	22
597	In your case, paying out of pocket will be a challenge.	1.4335	0.04412	233	156	53	24
598	So, what brings you in to see us today?	1.4335	0.04252	263	179	54	30
599	Take two rodents and call me in the morning.	1.4332	0.04648	217	147	46	24
600	You have coilitis.	1.4331	0.04255	254	171	56	27
601	So no frog in the throat anymore	1.4329	0.04482	231	156	50	25
602	Lets start with the good news, your ankles look great	1.4328	0.04384	238	160	53	25
603	So tell me, Frank, how long have you been experiencing erreptile disfunction?	1.4328	0.04384	238	160	53	25
604	I'll prescribe an antiboatic.	1.4327	0.04483	245	169	46	30
605	I guess we can skip the gown.	1.4327	0.04253	245	163	58	24
606	You may have a large snake wrapped around you, but we'll need to run some tests.	1.4324	0.04570	222	150	48	24
607	Your labs came back negative, so you're free to go.	1.4323	0.04292	229	150	59	20
608	We bought our medical equipment from the wrong Amazon.	1.4323	0.04510	229	155	49	25
609	After I was fired, I elected to be covered by COBRA	1.4323	0.04758	229	161	37	31
610	My diagnosis is that you have 3-6 minutes to live.	1.4321	0.04033	243	156	69	18
611	As a veterinarian, the snake will be my first priority.	1.4320	0.04451	250	173	46	31
612	Your comfort snake is anxious. Try getting him a dog.	1.4319	0.04325	257	176	51	30
613	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for the Boa	1.4317	0.04496	227	153	50	24
614	You're not the first man to come in here with Ereptile Disfunction.	1.4315	0.04538	241	167	44	30
615	Any other symptoms beyond shortness of breath?	1.4310	0.04382	232	155	54	23
616	Unfortunately, COBRA doesn't cover Boas.	1.4309	0.04431	246	169	48	29
617	Yes, tightness in the chest is a symptom of a heart attack, but it could be something else entirely.	1.4304	0.04396	237	160	52	25
618	Unfortunately, your insurance company lists this as a pre-existing condition.	1.4303	0.04254	251	169	56	26
619	Well I'm glad we could squeeze you in.	1.4302	0.04089	265	177	62	26
620	Perhaps we might consider a more appropriate support animal for you.	1.4299	0.04539	221	149	49	23
621	Sigh* What ELSE did the internet say you should do?	1.4298	0.04289	242	162	56	24
622	Sorry, but your comfort animal will have to stay in the waiting room.	1.4297	0.04278	249	168	55	26
623	There are several causes of cold feet. It could be a circulation problem.	1.4297	0.04278	249	168	55	26
624	I see you're covered by Aetna and Petplan."	1.4297	0.04192	256	172	58	26
625	Any chest pain, tightness, or difficulty breathing?	1.4296	0.04135	270	183	58	29
626	It's just a little something to help you unwind.	1.4292	0.04285	226	148	59	19
627	You can put your clothes back on,Mr. Matthews. I think we've identified the problem.	1.4292	0.04285	226	148	59	19
628	For once, I don't think the problem is your anxiety.	1.4292	0.04285	226	148	59	19
629	You have what used to be called “the grippe”.	1.4291	0.04599	247	175	38	34
630	I don't see how medicinal marijuana is going to improve this specific situation....	1.4291	0.04453	247	171	46	30
631	Yes Doctor I am still insured under Cobra	1.4291	0.04467	254	178	43	33
632	I'm also going to have to ask you to remove your boa.	1.4286	0.04328	245	166	53	26
633	I'm hearing a slight rattle.	1.4286	0.03933	273	180	69	24
634	I can't up your dose anymore. THIS IS our strongest emotional support pet.	1.4286	0.04300	238	159	56	23
635	It's as effective as gastric bypass, but less invasive.	1.4286	0.04351	231	154	55	22
636	And where is Eve?	1.4286	0.04540	238	165	44	29
637	This treatment has cured hiccups in 94.7% of those surviving the procedure.	1.4286	0.04192	259	175	57	27
638	Feed it two mice, and call me in the morning.	1.4286	0.04688	196	130	48	18
639	Voter suppression. Florida style.	1.4280	0.04188	271	186	54	31
640	Well.....you might want to consider a different therapy pet.	1.4280	0.04251	257	175	54	28
641	I'm going to give you something to help you unwind.	1.4280	0.04143	257	172	60	25
642	I'd say you have a snake wrapped around your body. That will be 1000 dollars.	1.4280	0.04354	243	165	52	26
643	Have you traveled to any foreign countries in the past month?	1.4280	0.04315	243	164	54	25
644	Have you traveled outside the country in the last 21 days?	1.4279	0.04523	222	150	49	23
645	I’m going to send you over to the zoo for a second opinion.	1.4276	0.03800	283	185	75	23
646	Not a serious problem - probably doesn’t know you from Adam	1.4275	0.04121	262	176	60	26
647	How would you describe your pain? With 1 being no pain, and 10 being crushed by a boa constrictor.	1.4275	0.04226	262	179	54	29
648	Any pets in the home?	1.4275	0.04085	262	175	62	25
649	Was there a woman and an apple involved?	1.4274	0.04380	241	164	51	26
650	It's a prescription for a mongoose.	1.4270	0.04167	267	182	56	29
651	Before I get to the diagnosis, I have to ask how you got undressed.	1.4268	0.04276	246	166	55	25
652	Have you recently traveled out of the country?	1.4268	0.04237	246	165	57	24
653	I'm sorry. Your COBRA insurance has expired.	1.4262	0.04530	244	171	42	31
654	No, I don't think it's just a panic attack.	1.4262	0.04059	244	159	66	19
655	I see you selected the COBRA option on your insurance plan.	1.4262	0.04417	244	168	48	28
656	Well, I think his tenure as an emotional support animal is pretty much over.	1.4262	0.04493	244	170	44	30
657	I guess "cough twice" is out of the question.	1.4262	0.04141	244	161	62	21
658	It's grown a lot since your last visit.	1.4262	0.04142	237	155	63	19
659	I can only say that your wife Eve told a different story.	1.4260	0.03957	277	185	66	26
660	This will help you unwind.	1.4259	0.04471	216	144	52	20
661	So, why have you come to see me today?	1.4259	0.04231	270	187	51	32
662	Well, he has malnutrition, but that should resolve itself soon.	1.4259	0.04518	216	145	50	21
663	And how frequent are the constrictions?	1.4258	0.04369	256	178	47	31
664	So, a tightening in your chest. Any other symptoms?	1.4257	0.04313	249	170	52	27
665	Meditation could help you both unwind.	1.4257	0.04042	249	163	66	20
666	I think I see what the problem is, but your insurance requires that I get a second opinion.	1.4255	0.04295	235	157	56	22
667	I’m sorry I couldn’t squeeze you in earlier.	1.4254	0.04345	228	152	55	21
668	I'm going to prescribe some Xanax for your friend. That should help her unwind.	1.4254	0.04256	228	150	59	19
669	I hear it’s going around.	1.4252	0.04500	214	143	51	20
670	Ah, type B, O, and A.	1.4251	0.04506	207	137	52	18
671	So, what do you do to unwind?	1.4251	0.04338	247	169	51	27
672	And...it might be a good idea for Eve to come in also.	1.4247	0.04656	219	151	43	25
673	Other than that you're pretty healthy.	1.4246	0.04085	252	167	63	22
674	And you said you hear hissing in which ear?	1.4246	0.04162	252	169	59	24
675	Did you eat the apple?	1.4245	0.04402	245	169	48	28
676	What can I do for you?	1.4244	0.04419	238	163	49	26
677	The good news is, there's nothing medically wrong with you.	1.4244	0.03985	271	181	65	25
678	Look, I'll do some tests but I'm pretty sure you've got a snake wrapped around your neck.	1.4241	0.04103	257	172	61	24
679	Unfortunately, it’s an endangered species and we will have to let your condition run it’s course.	1.4241	0.04445	224	151	51	22
680	You’re okay, but it sounds like he might have a frog in his throat.	1.4240	0.04108	250	166	62	22
681	First, tell me how you were able to remove your clothes!	1.4240	0.04502	217	146	50	21
682	And how do you feel about Eve now, Adam?	1.4240	0.04596	217	148	46	23
683	This should help you unwind.	1.4240	0.04549	217	147	48	22
684	The bad news is she'll probably swallow you whole. The good news is you'll be part of the marvelous cycle of life.	1.4239	0.03999	276	186	63	27
685	Don't tell me, you bought it on Amazon.	1.4239	0.04351	243	166	51	26
686	This is the only case where prescribing snake oil actually works.	1.4238	0.04708	210	144	43	23
687	I'm prescribing a flute and music lessons.	1.4237	0.04364	236	160	52	24
688	It's time for you to unwind.	1.4237	0.04405	236	161	50	25
689	I’m going to prescribe you adder-all	1.4236	0.04286	229	152	57	20
690	Does it rattle when you pee?	1.4234	0.04652	222	154	42	26
691	Yes, it’s clearly something that’s going around.	1.4233	0.04182	215	138	63	14
692	I’m sorry but it looks like your insurance plan covers boa constrictors, anacondas, and other members of the boa family, but what you have there is a reticulated python.	1.4232	0.04456	241	167	46	28
693	I can prescribe something for your high blood pressure, or, you can get rid of the snake.	1.4231	0.04105	260	175	60	25
694	You seem tense. Before we begin this examination, I want you to relax, unwind and tell me what's eating you.	1.4229	0.04149	253	170	59	24
695	I am referring you to a specialist, don’t worry, he’s a real charmer.	1.4229	0.04489	227	155	48	24
696	Looks like a serious case of full-monty python	1.4228	0.04500	246	173	42	31
697	I think we know what this is but I'll need to run a few more tests to be sure.	1.4226	0.04364	239	163	51	25
698	On your intake form you checked, "difficulty breathing;" Are you a smoker?	1.4226	0.04522	239	167	43	29
699	We don't accept your coverage. Don't you have a COBRA?	1.4226	0.04072	239	156	65	18
700	With your insurance, we can get a snake charmer in next Tuesday.	1.4226	0.04364	239	163	51	25
701	Unfortunately, your plan does not cover pre-existing constrictors.	1.4224	0.04376	232	157	52	23
702	I know you don't like taking medication but I'm going to give you something to help you unwind.	1.4223	0.04017	251	165	66	20
703	Any known allergy to mongooses, Mr. Jones?	1.4222	0.03925	270	179	68	23
704	Your insurance company says this is a preexisting condition.	1.4221	0.04070	263	177	61	25
705	I'm referring you to Dr. Mortenson. She's quite the charmer.	1.4218	0.04543	211	142	49	20
706	Here is a prescription for a big mongoose.	1.4217	0.04488	230	158	47	25
707	I know the feeling. I have student loans.	1.4217	0.04359	230	155	53	22
708	I’m going to write a prescription for a little something that will help you unwind.	1.4217	0.04227	230	152	59	19
709	The good news is the tightness in your chest has nothing to do with your heart.	1.4215	0.04203	242	162	58	22
710	I guess we can eliminate family history.	1.4213	0.04163	235	155	61	19
711	This is the one condition where snake oil really does work.	1.4213	0.04391	254	178	45	31
712	Do you know when the boa last ate?	1.4211	0.04220	247	167	56	24
713	There’s definitely something going around.	1.4204	0.04244	245	166	55	24
714	On the bright side, this delays your prostate exam.	1.4203	0.03964	276	186	64	26
715	I'm sorry, but we cannot not allow your emotional support animal to be with you during the colonoscopy.	1.4202	0.04352	257	180	46	31
716	I'll prescribe you an antiboatic.	1.4202	0.04375	238	163	50	25
717	We think our new Stress Test is far more affordable and accurate but yes, we’ve had complaints.”	1.4202	0.04375	238	163	50	25
718	Im gonna prescribe a muscle-relaxant. That'll straighten him out.	1.4199	0.04344	231	156	53	22
719	"Shortness of breath can be caused by many things.	1.4198	0.04229	243	164	56	23
720	Actually, you are fine...except for the snake.	1.4198	0.04309	243	166	52	25
721	Don't worry, it will shed in a few weeks.	1.4197	0.03882	274	182	69	23
722	Your insurance covers python prevention but not python removal.	1.4196	0.03892	255	166	71	18
723	If possible, I'd like the $20 co-pay now.	1.4195	0.04094	267	182	58	27
724	Of course you’re constipated... your asp is too tight...	1.4194	0.04396	248	173	46	29
725	And your health insurance is a ... Cobra plan?	1.4194	0.04506	248	176	40	32
726	So, do you want to live free or die?	1.4194	0.04729	217	152	39	26
727	The good news is, your scoliosis has cleared up.	1.4192	0.04102	260	176	59	25
728	A compression bandage would have worked just as well.	1.4192	0.04174	260	178	55	27
729	It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, John. A lot of men have problems with their snakes.	1.4192	0.04371	229	155	52	22
730	Your legs look healthy.	1.4187	0.04071	246	163	63	20
731	Your blood pressure is quite elevated Mr. Jones, so I'm writing you a prescription for that. I wouldn't worry about the snake, it seems quite healthy.	1.4187	0.04231	246	167	55	24
732	I don't care if it makes you calm. I'm not signing this airline form.	1.4187	0.04606	246	177	35	34
733	There is no good news. You have become his therapy animal.	1.4186	0.04124	258	175	58	25
734	I should've gone with the leeches.	1.4186	0.04480	215	145	50	20
735	The good thing about this condition is that it’s easily detectable.	1.4185	0.04217	227	150	59	18
736	Sorry you're not covered under COBRA.	1.4185	0.04657	227	160	39	28
737	Shortness of breath is quite common with your condition	1.4184	0.04279	239	162	54	23
738	So let me get this right. Your boyfriend said he had a fantasy of you showing up at his doorstep wearing nothing but a boa?	1.4184	0.04401	239	165	48	26
739	All your tests came back normal.	1.4182	0.03939	275	185	65	25
740	Anything else besides shortness of breath?	1.4181	0.04540	232	162	43	27
741	I'm afraid your H.R. Department doesn't quite understand the COBRA concept.	1.4180	0.04295	244	167	52	25
742	Will you need a note for work?	1.4180	0.03997	256	170	65	21
743	I'm prescribing a mongoose for your symptoms.	1.4179	0.04012	268	181	62	25
744	I'm sorry sir, but this procedure isn't covered by your COBRA plan.	1.4177	0.04345	249	173	48	28
745	First a monkey on your back and now this?	1.4176	0.04161	261	179	55	27
746	It's probably just pressure - you should go somewhere and unwind.	1.4174	0.04240	242	164	55	23
747	It's something that's going around.	1.4173	0.04095	254	171	60	23
748	Unfortunately, Mr. Haverford, that’s a python. Your healthcare provider only covers boas.	1.4171	0.04686	211	146	42	23
749	You don't have COBRA.	1.4170	0.04495	235	164	44	27
750	What’s the nature of your visit?	1.4170	0.04294	247	170	51	26
751	Let's see, trouble breathing, tightness in the chest. Is that all?	1.4170	0.04112	259	176	58	25
752	As your vet, I must say everything looks fine.	1.4170	0.04148	259	177	56	26
753	Shortness of breath. Tightness in the stomach. Anything else?	1.4167	0.04346	240	165	50	25
754	I say we just keep an eye on it and see if it gets any worse.	1.4167	0.04599	204	138	47	19
755	Your tests came back normal. It’s probably just anxiety.	1.4167	0.04055	264	179	60	25
756	Take two field mice and call me in the morning.	1.4167	0.04465	240	168	44	28
757	This should help you both unwind	1.4167	0.04040	252	168	63	21
758	Looks like I'm not the only one who squeezed you in today.	1.4167	0.04342	252	176	47	29
759	And finally, would you say you feel safe at home?	1.4163	0.04243	257	178	51	28
760	Unfortunately, that snake has you better covered than your health insurance.	1.4163	0.04399	233	160	49	24
761	Sounds like a panic attack, but let me take a look at you.	1.4163	0.04528	221	152	46	23
762	Definitely come see me if you notice it getting bigger.	1.4160	0.03931	262	174	67	21
763	I see your COBRA payments have kicked in.	1.4160	0.04476	250	178	40	32
764	I’m prescribing an anti strangulant.	1.4160	0.04035	238	156	65	17
765	So, what happened to Eve?	1.4160	0.04331	238	163	51	24
766	Chuck, what you've got is going around.	1.4157	0.04194	255	175	54	26
767	Taking patient's blood pressure is Larry's favorite part of the job.	1.4157	0.04339	255	179	46	30
768	I’ve seen bigger.	1.4156	0.04266	243	166	53	24
769	You've got what's going around	1.4156	0.04226	243	165	55	23
770	It’s going to be tricky to find you an in-network mongoose.	1.4156	0.04469	231	160	46	25
771	We think we know the problem, but we'll check you for Lyme disease just in case.	1.4156	0.04427	231	159	48	24
772	It says here that you've been under a lot of pressure lately...	1.4156	0.04427	231	159	48	24
773	Did't you also have a Poodle	1.4154	0.04135	272	189	53	30
774	One mouse a day at 4 P.M.	1.4154	0.03989	260	174	64	22
775	COBRA plans aren't what they used to be.	1.4154	0.04345	260	184	44	32
776	It seems the monkey on your back was eaten by something else.	1.4153	0.04125	248	167	59	22
777	The snake actually covers you better than your health insurance does.	1.4153	0.04357	236	162	50	24
778	I'm sorry it took so long for you to be seen, but for future reference "There's a boa around my neck" has multiple meanings.	1.4153	0.04357	236	162	50	24
779	And is that when you told Eve it was her fault?	1.4149	0.04564	241	172	38	31
780	We found no one liked the blood pressure cuff.	1.4148	0.04539	229	160	43	26
781	Let's see . . . non-smoker, no history of major illness, no surgeries . . . so, what brings you in today?	1.4147	0.04634	217	151	42	24
782	Maybe you're not as charming as you think.	1.4146	0.04227	246	168	54	24
783	Let's postpone your colonoscopy.	1.4144	0.04064	263	179	59	25
784	Instagram or Snapchat?	1.4143	0.04166	251	171	56	24
785	So I guess we should reschedule that colonoscopy?	1.4143	0.04166	251	171	56	24
786	I'm sorry, your insurance only covers bites, not constrictions.	1.4143	0.04700	210	146	41	23
787	So, you say it is more of a hiss rather than a ringing in your ears?	1.4142	0.04151	239	160	59	20
788	I'm writing you a prescription to unwind.	1.4141	0.04259	227	152	56	19
789	I still think gastric bypass was the better option...	1.4141	0.04439	227	156	48	23
790	I still don't quite get how it ate your pants.	1.4141	0.04107	256	174	58	24
791	Sorry, but you only get COBRA coverage if you've lost your job.	1.4141	0.04217	256	177	52	27
792	For starters, you've become too attached to your pet.	1.4140	0.04427	215	145	51	19
793	No sir, I don’t think it’s ringworm.	1.4139	0.04252	244	167	53	24
794	Anything else?	1.4139	0.03956	273	185	63	25
795	Current address still: Eden, Garden of? Emergency contact: Eve?	1.4138	0.04618	232	165	38	29
796	Any recent trips overseas?	1.4137	0.04151	249	169	57	23
797	I think you'll find that when we get this removed, a colonoscopy won't seem so bad.	1.4135	0.04301	237	162	52	23
798	Some airlines have tightened their rules lately, but this letter might help.	1.4134	0.04092	254	172	59	23
799	And you're Monty, I take it?	1.4134	0.04350	254	179	45	30
800	Take two mice and call me in the morning.	1.4131	0.04697	213	149	40	24
801	I'm afraid my recommendation will depend on which one of you has better insurance.	1.4130	0.04565	230	162	41	27
802	Let's not jump to any conclusions until we can run some tests.	1.4130	0.04014	247	164	64	19
803	Yes we can remove it. No it's not called a Hissterectomy.	1.4128	0.04285	235	160	53	22
804	Kick once for yes, two for no.	1.4128	0.04156	235	157	59	19
805	No, I'm sure you won't need another appointment.	1.4128	0.04285	235	160	53	22
806	We all agree. It's an Anaconda. Was there anything else?	1.4125	0.03904	257	170	68	19
807	A vet would've been a lot less expensive.	1.4125	0.04094	257	175	58	24
808	Ah, I see you’ve already met Dr. Boa. He’ll be preforming your colonoscopy today.	1.4123	0.04800	228	166	30	32
809	So what’s the reason for the visit?	1.4122	0.04077	245	164	61	20
810	Any family history of this sort of thing?	1.4122	0.04158	245	166	57	22
811	The good news is, it's not asthma.	1.4120	0.04438	233	162	46	25
812	You think you feel squeezed now, wait 'til you see my bill.	1.4120	0.04396	233	161	48	24
813	The good news is it’s temporary, the bad news is I’m talking to the snake.	1.4120	0.04268	233	158	54	21
814	Who sold you this COBRA plan?	1.4120	0.04438	233	162	46	25
815	So what seems to be the trouble?	1.4120	0.04214	250	172	53	25
816	For insurance purposes, I'm going to call this a major constriction.	1.4118	0.04203	238	161	56	21
817	Looks like this time he charmed the pants off of you.	1.4118	0.04746	221	158	35	28
818	Okay, lets try one blink for yes and twice for no!	1.4118	0.04449	238	167	44	27
819	Look, I’m a hepatologists, and your liver looks in really good shape. You need a herpetologist for that other thing.	1.4115	0.04096	260	178	57	25
820	So, we’ll skip the rectal exam today.	1.4113	0.03928	282	193	62	27
821	When's the last time either of you ate?	1.4113	0.04022	231	151	65	15
822	Well, your blood pressure is high, but that won’t matter much longer.	1.4113	0.04590	231	164	39	28
823	Otherwise, how was your trip to the Everglades?	1.4113	0.04205	231	155	57	19
824	Let me guess, it's after the frog in your throat.	1.4111	0.04215	253	175	52	26
825	Your relationship isn’t toxic, but it is suffocating.	1.4111	0.03985	253	169	64	20
826	The good news? The tightness in your chest has nothing to with your heart.”	1.4110	0.04142	236	158	59	19
827	Sorry...undress means removing your boa too...	1.4110	0.04228	236	160	55	21
828	Other than trouble taking a deep breath, no complaints?	1.4110	0.04269	219	146	56	17
829	To lower your blood pressure, I’m prescribing a live goat.	1.4109	0.03967	275	188	61	26
830	It’s not terminal. For the snake.	1.4108	0.04165	241	163	57	21
831	That's not what I meant when I said you should have COBRA coverage." Joan Black, Easton Connecticu	1.4107	0.04823	224	163	30	31
832	The good news is, you don't have worms.	1.4107	0.04434	224	154	48	22
833	And is it causing you any discomfort?	1.4106	0.03916	263	176	66	21
834	Well, all our tests are negative. But tell me again why you brought this man with you?	1.4106	0.04302	246	171	49	26
835	So Adam, What seems to be the problem?	1.4106	0.04340	246	172	47	27
836	I've seen dozens of patients come in with monkeys on their backs, but this is a first.	1.4106	0.04064	246	165	61	20
837	So he's having trouble swallowing?	1.4105	0.04364	229	157	50	22
838	You need to find a different support animal.	1.4104	0.04041	268	184	58	26
839	So, for your first drag queen appearance, when they said, “Wear a boa” they meant a feathery, long scarf.	1.4104	0.04276	251	175	49	27
840	I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Johnson, but we can't do anything for you without a referral from your vet.	1.4104	0.04007	251	168	63	20
841	That reminds me, Mr. Johnson, you're due for a colonoscopy.	1.4104	0.04239	251	174	51	26
842	Have you been under a lot of pressure lately?	1.4104	0.04276	251	175	49	27
843	You may experience some loss of bladder control.	1.4104	0.04201	251	173	53	25
844	And the prescription for Xanax will help you unwind.	1.4103	0.04380	234	162	48	24
845	I’m going to write a prescription for Viagra which should straighten this whole thing out.	1.4102	0.04322	256	181	45	30
846	We could play the good news / bad news game, but you really don't have a lot of time for that.	1.4101	0.04296	217	145	55	17
847	Your chest feels tight? Well, that could be a lot of things.	1.4100	0.04189	239	162	56	21
848	Sorry for the wait... I’m having trouble finding the right medical billing code.	1.4097	0.04163	227	151	59	17
849	Tightness in the chest. Anything else?	1.4097	0.04435	227	157	47	23
850	We received the test results and I think I finally know what the problem is	1.4095	0.04447	210	142	50	18
851	I am sorry but there just isn't anything we can do for the common coiled.	1.4095	0.04365	232	160	49	23
852	It says here you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.	1.4095	0.04235	232	157	55	20
853	The problem is that seems to be a python and, the thing of it is, we only accept COBRA.	1.4093	0.04567	215	149	44	22
854	This does seem to be going around.	1.4093	0.04298	237	163	51	23
855	Sorry but your insurance doesn't cover pre-constricted conditions	1.4093	0.04069	259	177	58	24
856	No, I will not certify him as an emotional support snake"	1.4091	0.04254	220	147	56	17
857	Any tightening in the chest?	1.4091	0.04353	242	169	47	26
858	Let's start with why you don't have any clothes on.	1.4089	0.04249	247	171	51	25
859	Prunes will do the job and are less restrictive.	1.4089	0.04091	247	167	59	21
860	You just left your job. I guess it's safe to assume you have COBRA coverage.	1.4089	0.04438	247	176	41	30
861	I am going to give you something to unwind.	1.4089	0.04210	247	170	53	24
862	So how is COBRA working out for you?	1.4089	0.04249	247	171	51	25
863	Ah, I see you are being prepped for your colonoscopy.	1.4088	0.03873	274	185	66	23
864	Take two a day for you reptile disfunction.	1.4087	0.04225	252	175	51	26
865	I’m prescribing Valium for you and cyanide for your friend. Be careful not to mix them up.	1.4087	0.04187	252	174	53	25
866	Trust me he's not covered under your COBRA plan.	1.4085	0.04281	235	161	52	22
867	I see you have been spending time in the White House.....	1.4085	0.04608	235	169	36	30
868	The X-rays show you have a human stuck in your coils.	1.4085	0.03906	284	195	62	27
869	If I were you, Mr. Morris, I'd choose a different emotional support animal.	1.4083	0.04217	240	164	54	22
870	We need to do a hisssterectomy.	1.4083	0.04298	240	166	50	24
871	Yes, a lot of it's going around.	1.4083	0.04520	218	151	45	22
872	Take these twice a day with food. Also, you may want to do something about the snake.	1.4082	0.04114	245	166	58	21
873	You might have picked something up while visiting Brazil.	1.4082	0.03990	245	163	64	18
874	You've certainly gone to great lengths to avoid your prostate exam.	1.4081	0.04624	223	158	39	26
875	There’s no magic pill. You just need to unwind.	1.4081	0.04354	223	152	51	20
876	So, Adam, I'm guessing you ate the apple.	1.4080	0.04056	250	169	60	21
877	You also have chlamydia.	1.4080	0.04398	250	178	42	30
878	Can you still see this "snake"?	1.4078	0.04188	255	177	52	26
879	So this happened right after she handed you the apple?	1.4077	0.04350	233	161	49	23
880	I'm going to have to ask you to turn your cellphone off.	1.4077	0.04516	233	165	41	27
881	We’ll know more after your tests come back,	1.4077	0.04019	260	177	60	23
882	So I'm going to put down 'emotional support animal'.	1.4076	0.04157	238	161	57	20
883	Lab test results say it's a snake.	1.4076	0.04365	238	166	47	25
884	You've got a snake, I'm left-handed; we all have our problems.	1.4074	0.04219	243	167	53	23
885	I'm afraid our options are somewhat constricted.	1.4074	0.04137	243	165	57	21
886	Other than that, how was the trip to the Amazon?	1.4074	0.04178	243	166	55	22
887	Let's go with "Shortness of breath, other."	1.4074	0.04338	243	170	47	26
888	I should probably skip asking you to take a deep breath.	1.4071	0.04174	253	175	53	25
889	You should have gone with the non-binding agreement.	1.4070	0.04223	258	181	49	28
890	It's a Catch-22. I can't treat you until you sign a waiver.	1.4069	0.04376	231	160	48	23
891	Give it three mice every four hours and call me in the morning.	1.4069	0.04156	231	155	58	18
892	Yes, that's probably a python, but I'd like to do CAT scan and a few other expensive tests to be sure.	1.4068	0.03986	263	179	61	23
893	Any tightness in your chest?	1.4065	0.04484	214	147	47	20
894	First, the good news. Your chest pain isn't a heart attack.	1.4065	0.04019	246	165	62	19
895	So you’re still using your Cobra insurance?	1.4064	0.04861	219	160	29	30
896	Let's try a different comfort animal "	1.4064	0.04082	251	171	58	22
897	Which one of you am I seeing first?	1.4064	0.03784	283	191	69	23
898	And have you travelled to any tropical countries in the past 30 days?	1.4062	0.03909	256	171	66	19
899	If it gets any bigger, let us know.	1.4061	0.03970	261	177	62	22
900	I'm a little concerned about your blood pressure.	1.4061	0.04134	229	153	59	17
901	In this case, snake oil is exactly what you need.	1.4060	0.04377	234	163	47	24
902	I’d still like to run a few tests to be sure.	1.4059	0.04185	239	163	55	21
903	You’re fine, but the snake has a hernia.	1.4057	0.04124	244	166	57	21
904	As you make payments towards my bill, we will replace him with progressively smaller snakes.	1.4056	0.04183	249	172	53	24
905	This isn't quite doing it. I'm going to try you on Anaconda for a month.	1.4054	0.04366	222	152	50	20
906	So, what’s been eating you?	1.4053	0.04220	264	187	47	30
907	I'm only a student but chest pressure, shortness of breath, anxiety sounds like a panic attack to me.	1.4053	0.04603	227	162	38	27
908	So,what’s the problem.	1.4053	0.04297	227	155	52	20
909	You said you were ok with a generic vasoconstrictor.	1.4051	0.04417	237	167	44	26
910	OK, but no discomfort in the lower legs, is that right?	1.4051	0.04210	237	162	54	21
911	Besides that, how are you feeling in general?	1.4051	0.04210	237	162	54	21
912	Is anything else bothering you ?	1.4050	0.04147	242	165	56	21
913	Unfortunately, an anti-hiss-tamine won’t help this time around.	1.4050	0.04270	242	168	50	24
914	The snake is overweight, but everything else is normal.	1.4049	0.04412	205	138	51	16
915	This will work like a charmer.	1.4049	0.04167	247	170	54	23
916	So Howard, what brings you in today?	1.4048	0.04221	252	176	50	26
917	Any other pressing problems?	1.4048	0.04107	252	173	56	23
918	I'll write an Emotional Support letter,but I don't think they'll let you board.	1.4047	0.04012	257	175	60	22
919	I recommend a coilonoscopy.	1.4046	0.03883	262	176	66	20
920	On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the pressure?	1.4045	0.04624	220	156	39	25
921	I’m afraid your insurance only covers animal bites. Let’s just wait a while and see what happens.	1.4045	0.04012	267	184	58	25
922	Mrs. Davis, do you mind if I speak to your husband alone for a few minutes?	1.4044	0.04369	225	155	49	21
923	What can I do for you today, Mr. Jones?	1.4043	0.04388	230	160	47	23
924	I’m prescribing some snake oil to loosen that up.	1.4043	0.04211	230	156	55	19
925	And finally Adam, do you feel safe at home?	1.4043	0.04525	235	168	39	28
926	You'll need to remove the snake,too.	1.4042	0.04335	240	168	47	25
927	Any pre-constricting conditions?	1.4042	0.04213	240	165	53	22
928	Have you traveled outside the United States in the last six months?	1.4041	0.04110	245	167	57	21
929	Have you travelled outside the US recently?	1.4041	0.04110	245	167	57	21
930	I'm prescribing a new pet.	1.4041	0.04110	245	167	57	21
931	Feed him two rats and try to call me in the morning.	1.4041	0.04270	245	171	49	25
932	You wouldn’t believe the day I’m having.	1.4040	0.04091	250	171	57	22
933	So you'd just bitten into the apple?	1.4040	0.03972	250	168	63	19
934	Anything more specific than 'shortness of breath'?	1.4040	0.04169	250	173	53	24
935	So, what seems to be the matter?	1.4039	0.04496	203	138	48	17
936	Oh,him? He's just here to check your prostate.	1.4039	0.04257	255	180	47	28
937	Rate your constriction on a scale of 1 to 10.	1.4039	0.04365	255	183	41	31
938	I’m hoping this muscle relaxer will do the trick.	1.4039	0.03957	255	172	63	20
939	Good news! I found a herpetologist in your provider network.	1.4038	0.03865	260	174	67	19
940	So, shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping and range of motion restrictions in the arms and shoulders; we'll need to run some tests.	1.4038	0.04782	213	153	34	26
941	I believe a dog would be a better comfort animal.	1.4036	0.03961	275	190	59	26
942	Any tightness in the chest?	1.4036	0.04442	223	155	46	22
943	If the snake doesn’t spark joy, I suggest getting rid of it.	1.4036	0.03942	280	194	59	27
944	Unfortunately our herpetologists are all out of network.	1.4034	0.04320	238	166	48	24
945	Other than that, would you rate your overall health as excellent, good, or fair?	1.4033	0.04008	243	163	62	18
946	Again?"	1.4032	0.04270	248	174	48	26
947	Shortness of breath? Any other symptoms I should know about?	1.4031	0.04074	258	178	56	24
948	So, how's Eve?	1.4030	0.03982	263	180	60	23
949	You’re lucky I could squeeze you in.	1.4026	0.04499	231	164	41	26
950	It’s funny, but this us not covered by your COBRA insurance!	1.4025	0.04387	236	166	45	25
951	Certainly, the snake is one possible explanation for your shortness of breath. However, I make a lot more money if we run a series of unnecessary tests.	1.4025	0.04400	241	171	43	27
952	It's a tropical thing that's going around.	1.4024	0.03932	246	164	65	17
953	How can I examine this snake with you in there?	1.4024	0.04295	246	173	47	26
954	Your insurance only covers snakes under ten feet long.	1.4024	0.04137	246	169	55	22
955	Any other symptoms?	1.4024	0.03999	251	170	61	20
956	The good news is that it's not a tapeworm.	1.4024	0.04039	251	171	59	21
957	Do you have cobra insurance?	1.4024	0.04306	251	178	45	28
958	You’re lucky I went to medical school in the Caribbean.	1.4024	0.04039	251	171	59	21
959	You gotta unwind.	1.4018	0.04334	224	154	50	20
960	Unfortunately Mr. Monty, your health plan doesn’t cover Ereptile Dysfunction!	1.4017	0.04386	239	169	44	26
961	So what seems to be the matter here?	1.4017	0.04346	239	168	46	25
962	I see you still have your COBRA benefits, everything else the same?	1.4016	0.04320	244	172	46	26
963	Have you traveled out of the country in the last three weeks?	1.4016	0.04201	244	169	52	23
964	By 'pre-existing,' I mean you had it before you got here.	1.4016	0.04268	254	180	46	28
965	I see that you marked “Yes” on “Shortness of Breath”.	1.4015	0.04006	264	182	58	24
966	This requires an injection. Would you like it in your arm or your asp?	1.4009	0.04668	217	155	37	25
967	This perscription will help you unwind.	1.4009	0.04201	227	154	55	18
968	When I said a restricted diet, I meant a calorie-restricted diet.	1.4009	0.04046	232	155	61	16
969	It's the high blood pressure that worries me	1.4008	0.04184	242	167	53	22
970	Okay, trouble breathing. Any other symptoms?	1.4008	0.04163	247	171	53	23
971	Any family history of anacondas, boa constrictors or reticulated pythons?	1.4008	0.04065	252	173	57	22
972	Last question. Have you been to any exotic locations during the past three months?	1.4000	0.04167	240	165	54	21
973	Your cobra plan should take about 6 weeks to kick in.	1.4000	0.04065	265	185	54	26
974	Maybe you should consider a different emotional support animal .	1.4000	0.04131	225	151	58	16
975	Unfortunately, Animal Control is an out-of-network provider.	1.4000	0.04217	255	180	48	27
976	This is not what we meant by `support animal’	1.4000	0.04845	195	138	36	21
977	So, any unusual symptoms?	1.4000	0.04024	245	166	60	19
978	I'm just going to have to disagree with WebMD on this one. It isn't cancer.	1.4000	0.04106	255	177	54	24
979	Sir, it seems you've contracted e-boa	1.4000	0.04586	225	161	38	26
980	We think the reason for your difficult breathing is the snake, but to be sure, we’d like to run some tests..	1.4000	0.03976	270	187	58	25
981	Have you traveled outside the country in the past few weeks?	1.4000	0.03992	255	174	60	21
982	Next time try a turtle neck	1.3992	0.03905	263	179	63	21
983	A little snake oil should do the trick.	1.3992	0.03905	263	179	63	21
984	As a last resort we could try to remove it.	1.3992	0.04034	258	178	57	23
985	I'm going to start off by prescribing you some mice.	1.3992	0.03920	258	175	63	20
986	I’m not going to ask what happened this time.	1.3992	0.04167	253	177	51	25
987	In my professional opinion, a weighted blanket would be just as effective and have fewer side effects.	1.3992	0.04129	253	176	53	24
988	The good news is your snake is going to be OK.	1.3992	0.04129	243	167	55	21
989	Not a wise choice for a halloween contest, was it?	1.3992	0.04275	238	166	49	23
990	This isn't covered by your insurance. Come back if it bites.	1.3992	0.04275	238	166	49	23
991	I know your in a tight spot right now, but if you could sign these forms it'd be great.	1.3992	0.04233	238	165	51	22
992	Bill, I'm afraid this'll be a little trickier than the mole on you back last year.	1.3991	0.04167	233	159	55	19
993	All I can say is that must have been some bachelor party.	1.3991	0.04232	228	156	53	19
994	It's time to reassess: is this particular emotional support animal giving you more than it takes out of you?	1.3991	0.04483	223	157	43	23
995	Present this note at the gate and you shouldn't have any issues flying with your emotional support animal.	1.3991	0.04417	218	151	47	20
996	Have you traveled outside the United States within the last 6 months?	1.3984	0.04204	256	181	48	27
997	Well, let's start with this. Have you been out of the country recently?	1.3984	0.03979	256	175	60	21
998	I say there's nothing wrong here, but I'm just your vet.	1.3984	0.04190	251	176	50	25
999	OK, weight gain, tightness in the chest...any other symptoms"	1.3984	0.03927	246	165	64	17
1000	How was your vacation?	1.3984	0.04052	246	168	58	20
1001	We'll need to get some bloodwork done just to be sure.	1.3984	0.04173	246	171	52	23
1002	On a scale of hug to asphyxiation, how would you describe this tightness in your chest?	1.3984	0.04052	246	168	58	20
1003	No,she seems pretty healthy, but you were wise to bring her in regardless.	1.3984	0.04093	246	169	56	21
1004	Any shortness of breath?	1.3983	0.04194	241	167	52	22
1005	Sorry, but the insurance will not approve the operation without your signature.	1.3983	0.04584	236	172	34	30
1006	What exactly is the problem?	1.3983	0.04453	231	164	42	25
1007	Of course an MRI will be more conclusive.	1.3983	0.04237	231	159	52	20
1008	The good news is, it’s not a tumor”	1.3982	0.04131	221	148	58	15
1009	And would you say this tightness in your chest started before or after you came home from safari?'	1.3982	0.04557	221	157	40	24
1010	Any trouble eating, sleeping, peeing, bowel movements, or sex?	1.3981	0.04541	216	152	42	22
1011	That was quite a trick, getting your shirt off.	1.3981	0.04493	216	151	44	21
1012	Compression sock... Is my handwriting that bad?	1.3977	0.03984	259	178	59	22
1013	Have you traveled outside the country within the last two weeks?	1.3976	0.03961	254	173	61	20
1014	It's really up to you Mr. Smith. Is this something you can live with or do you want to see a specialist?	1.3976	0.04077	254	176	55	23
1015	We found an anomaly in your x-ray. You have 832 extra ribs and vertebrae.	1.3976	0.04057	249	171	57	21
1016	No, the Xanax is to help the snake to relax, not you.	1.3976	0.04017	249	170	59	20
1017	On the plus side, it's the only thing holding you together.	1.3975	0.04237	244	171	49	24
1018	Unfortunately you’re only covered if it actually bites you.	1.3975	0.04116	244	168	55	21
1019	Now, which of you is the patient?	1.3975	0.04033	244	166	59	19
1020	Well, the good news is I can explain the breathing problems and sudden weight gain...	1.3975	0.04092	239	163	57	19
1021	Unfortunately, it's feed a boa and starve a fever, not the other way around."	1.3975	0.04219	239	166	51	22
1022	I'll write you a prescription for a flute.	1.3975	0.04342	239	169	45	25
1023	I think we'll give him something to help him relax a bit.	1.3975	0.04260	239	167	49	23
1024	Good news - it looks like he's benign.	1.3975	0.04049	239	162	59	18
1025	Other than shortness of breath, have you experienced any other symptoms?	1.3975	0.04092	239	163	57	19
1026	No I am a veterinarian and we are trying to figure out how to have you removed.	1.3974	0.04451	234	167	41	26
1027	So, when did the contractions start?	1.3974	0.04395	229	161	45	23
1028	It's a textbook emboalism.	1.3974	0.04262	229	158	51	20
1029	Well, the good news is that it isn’t cancer...	1.3973	0.04511	224	159	41	24
1030	So the feeling just kind of crept up on you?	1.3973	0.04189	224	152	55	17
1031	So, my bad, I probably should have explained the side effects of the new treatment.	1.3973	0.04330	224	155	49	20
1032	It’s an intestinanal disorder. The good news is that it’s not yours.	1.3973	0.04632	219	157	37	25
1033	Any changes since your last visit?	1.3973	0.04448	219	153	45	21
1034	I can remove it, but I hate to tell you boa constrictors are not covered under your current COBRA insurance plan.	1.3972	0.04523	214	150	43	21
1035	I'm putting you on a boa blocker.	1.3972	0.03884	282	196	60	26
1036	No, in fact, some snake oil is exactly what you need.	1.3968	0.04120	247	171	54	22
1037	Yeah, this isn't covered.	1.3968	0.04079	247	170	56	21
1038	Well, technically, it is a pre-existing condition...	1.3968	0.03998	247	168	60	19
1039	Any change since the last check-up?	1.3968	0.04120	247	171	54	22
1040	Take two rats and a bunny and call me in the morning.	1.3967	0.04262	242	170	48	24
1041	Take two rats, call me in the morning.	1.3967	0.04097	242	166	56	20
1042	How did you get your shirt off?	1.3967	0.04302	242	171	46	25
1043	It seems to me that you're under a lot of pressure.	1.3967	0.04180	242	168	52	22
1044	Tightening of the chest, shortness of breath...I know you are being attacked by a snake, but the insurance company says you are having a heart attack so that is what I have to treat you for.	1.3966	0.04395	232	164	44	24
1045	I'll write you a prescription for an antiboatic.	1.3965	0.04422	227	160	44	23
1046	This antidepressant should help him unwind.	1.3964	0.04310	222	153	50	19
1047	I know our website says that we accept COBRA coverage, but this isn't what we meant.	1.3963	0.04380	217	150	48	19
1048	Point to where it hurts.	1.3963	0.03902	270	186	61	23
1049	Unfortunately veterinarians are out of network for you	1.3962	0.03990	265	184	57	24
1050	This time I'm writing you a prescription for a service dog.	1.3962	0.04225	260	186	45	29
1051	It’s a traditional Chinese folk remedy for treating constipation.	1.3961	0.04140	255	179	51	25
1052	Seems you tried to see a doctor outside your network.	1.3960	0.04161	250	175	51	24
1053	Ah, yet another case of an Amazon order gone awry.	1.3960	0.04123	250	174	53	23
1054	The x-ray is showing a multitude of broken bones but honestly I’d take the fact that he hasn’t eaten yet you as a win.	1.3957	0.04095	235	160	57	18
1055	Are you under a lot of pressure?	1.3956	0.04314	225	156	49	20
1056	I’m going to prescribe you some antihisstamines.	1.3955	0.04478	220	155	43	22
1057	There's been a lot of this going around and around.	1.3955	0.04431	220	154	45	21
1058	I thought when you called you said you had ebola.	1.3954	0.03788	263	177	68	18
1059	I'm putting you on a boa constricted diet.	1.3954	0.03864	263	179	64	20
1060	I'm afraid your boa is constricted.	1.3953	0.04009	253	174	58	21
1061	I'll prescribe a relaxant to help you unwind.	1.3953	0.04087	253	176	54	23
1062	This muscle relaxant prescription is for the snake not you.	1.3951	0.04207	243	170	50	23
1063	110 over 70... that's really good.	1.3951	0.04125	243	168	54	21
1064	I am sure the nurse did mention, you can't bring your support animal to your colonoscopy	1.3950	0.04473	238	172	38	28
1065	In the future I suggest you avoid apples, gardens and naked women.	1.3947	0.04317	228	159	48	21
1066	I see you've met our colonoscopist.	1.3947	0.04317	228	159	48	21
1067	I’d say its a Boa but it could be an Anaconda. Would you like a second opinion?	1.3946	0.04387	223	156	46	21
1068	yup...typical case of Ereptile Dysfunction	1.3946	0.04387	223	156	46	21
1069	Let's see, crushing chest pain, Right?	1.3946	0.04294	223	154	50	19
1070	Sorry but i can’t find a billing code for this...	1.3945	0.04089	256	179	53	24
1071	Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?	1.3945	0.04599	218	156	38	24
1072	So your first name is Monty?	1.3944	0.04186	251	177	49	25
1073	Look, you keep telling me about the snake but let’s take a moment to talk about your high cholesterol.	1.3942	0.04272	241	170	47	24
1074	Before the procedure, which way ya leaning, purses, belts, shoes or steaks?	1.3942	0.04272	241	170	47	24
1075	Rex is fine physically, but he seems to have some separation issues.	1.3939	0.04187	231	159	53	19
1076	I think he has a crush on you.	1.3939	0.04232	231	160	51	20
1077	Just give this letter to the airline and you should have no problem traveling with Simon.	1.3939	0.04142	231	158	55	18
1078	We won’t know for sure until we run some tests.	1.3938	0.04298	226	157	49	20
1079	Once I uncoil it, you should find it easier to walk, sleep, shower, and definitely to make new friends.	1.3937	0.04035	254	176	56	22
1080	Actually, I'm a vet--so you're not the patient here."	1.3937	0.04642	221	160	35	26
1081	Three to five medium-sized rodents a day for Monty, Don't miss a feeding, you should be fine.	1.3936	0.03931	249	169	62	18
1082	Good news! It's definitely not your heart.	1.3934	0.04070	244	168	56	20
1083	Okay, I'll certify Chester as a comfort animal. But I still don't think they will allow a snake on a plane.	1.3934	0.04312	244	174	44	26
1084	Tight chest and difficulty breathing... Could be asthma...	1.3933	0.04297	239	169	46	24
1085	Take 2 aspirin and coil me in the morning. Just kidding!	1.3933	0.04256	239	168	48	23
1086	The xrays revealed that you have a snake wrapped around you.	1.3933	0.04338	239	170	44	25
1087	Yes...I can see that...we just want to run some tests first to rule out any other potential causes of your discomfort.	1.3932	0.04192	234	162	52	20
1088	Twenty minutes every day at bedtime. But don't sleep with it on.	1.3932	0.04059	234	159	58	17
1089	Any chest pains, difficulty breathing or shortness of breath?	1.3931	0.04020	262	183	55	24
1090	A constriction? Can you be more specific?	1.3930	0.04346	229	161	46	22
1091	Here's a prescription for four rats a day, plus two refills.	1.3930	0.04113	257	181	51	25
1092	You think you’re being squeezed, let me tell you about malpractice insurance.	1.3929	0.03938	252	172	61	19
1093	Feed it two rabbits and call me in the morning.	1.3927	0.04311	247	177	43	27
1094	So, shortness of breath, tightness in the chest and you're generally feeling constricted.	1.3927	0.04200	219	149	54	16
1095	I'll prescribe something easy to swallow.	1.3926	0.03934	270	188	58	24
1096	And have you been under any extra pressure lately?	1.3926	0.04093	242	167	55	20
1097	Go get two Mongooses and call me in the morning.	1.3926	0.04176	242	169	51	22
1098	Two more weeks of this and we’ll hit your goal weight.	1.3924	0.04023	237	161	59	17
1099	Before I jump to conclusions, let's run a few expensive diagnostics.	1.3924	0.04485	237	172	37	28
1100	So...I don't think it's anything internal.	1.3924	0.04154	237	164	53	20
1101	I suggest you unwind a bit, Mr. Smithers.	1.3924	0.04111	237	163	55	19
1102	You should've come in at "Oh, Gee! It's up to my knee." "Oh, fiddle! It's up to my middle" is much harder to treat.	1.3921	0.04237	227	157	51	19
1103	Okay, Adam, one more time. So you ate an apple and what happened?	1.3921	0.04417	227	161	43	23
1104	Take off the snake and the doctor will be right in.	1.3921	0.04237	227	157	51	19
1105	If it's an adult anaconda it may be considered a pre-existing condition.	1.3920	0.04040	250	173	56	21
1106	So, tell me what's eating you today.	1.3920	0.04079	250	174	54	22
1107	I wouldn't worry about it, it seems to be going around.	1.3920	0.04157	250	176	50	24
1108	Nice boa! Now what brings you in?	1.3919	0.04304	222	154	49	19
1109	...And last week it was from the jaws of a lion. Tell me, has the Great Zordini ever considered a change of career?	1.3918	0.04219	245	173	48	24
1110	The good news is, your prostate is fine.	1.3917	0.03987	240	163	60	17
1111	Separate bills?	1.3917	0.04074	240	165	56	19
1112	This is completely normal. My last patient's emotional support alligator was clingy too.	1.3917	0.04241	240	169	48	23
1113	Looks like you picked something up.	1.3915	0.04090	235	161	56	18
1114	There was really no need to take off your pants.	1.3915	0.04472	235	170	38	27
1115	He needs to cut down on mice, but otherwise he's fine.	1.3915	0.04306	235	166	46	23
1116	And where was Eve when this happened?	1.3913	0.04331	230	162	46	22
1117	Look, I know it gets a bad rap but snake oil really is the best option here.	1.3911	0.04102	248	173	53	22
1118	So, this is Eve's fault?	1.3911	0.04141	248	174	51	23
1119	Let me know if that gets too tight.	1.3909	0.03995	243	166	59	18
1120	I'm recommending a less needy emotional support reptile.	1.3909	0.04162	243	170	51	22
1121	On the other hand, this might help your constipation issues.	1.3909	0.03995	243	166	59	18
1122	As a veterinarian, my first concern is for the snake.	1.3909	0.04283	220	152	50	18
1123	Sorry,I can’t help you, it’s an endangered species.	1.3908	0.04029	261	183	54	24
1124	Because antibiotics are what your insurance will cover.	1.3908	0.04308	238	169	45	24
1125	Have you been out of the country in the last month?	1.3906	0.03932	256	176	60	20
1126	So Mr. Peterson what seems to be the problem?	1.3906	0.04047	256	179	54	23
1127	Yes, they are 'Dad sneakers' but I don't think you're in the position to be passing judgements.	1.3906	0.04047	256	179	54	23
1128	But could you play the violin before?	1.3906	0.04202	233	162	51	20
1129	So you refused to eat the apple.	1.3904	0.04257	251	180	44	27
1130	You’ve got to unwind	1.3904	0.04445	228	163	41	24
1131	Next I'd like to examine you without your comfort animal.	1.3904	0.04401	228	162	43	23
1132	Unfortunately, that one's not on my list of emotional support animals.	1.3903	0.03942	269	188	57	24
1133	You can put your pants back on now.	1.3902	0.04084	246	171	54	21
1134	Wait a minute; how did you get your shirt off?	1.3902	0.04125	246	172	52	22
1135	The bad news is, your snake has a cold.	1.3900	0.04060	241	166	56	19
1136	...and when did you notice the tightness in your chest?	1.3900	0.03976	259	180	57	22
1137	Let's see if an MRI shows us anything.	1.3900	0.03900	259	178	61	20
1138	My assistant there is just taking your blood pressure.	1.3898	0.04220	254	182	45	27
1139	The X-rays are showing it's a very large snake...	1.3896	0.04048	249	173	55	21
1140	That human will have to be removed Mr. Snake.	1.3894	0.04247	226	157	50	19
1141	I remember when The New Yorker cartoons were funny.	1.3893	0.04307	244	175	43	26
1142	So, which of you has the gerbil?	1.3893	0.04307	244	175	43	26
1143	Next I am prescribing compression leggings.	1.3893	0.04423	244	178	37	29
1144	Now, what seems to be the problem here?	1.3893	0.04307	244	175	43	26
1145	Glad I could squeeze you in today.	1.3893	0.03943	262	182	58	22
1146	Nothing too alarming here. You just caught what is going around.	1.3893	0.03905	262	181	60	21
1147	Good news,its not your heart.	1.3891	0.04409	221	156	44	21
1148	This should keep the swelling down.	1.3891	0.04251	239	169	47	23
1149	Have you been out of the country recently?	1.3891	0.03881	257	176	62	19
1150	Take the decongestant pills for 2 weeks. If your breathing doesn't improve, I'd get rid of the snake.	1.3891	0.03920	257	177	60	20
1151	Everything looks good. I'll see you in a year.	1.3891	0.03997	257	179	56	22
1152	It appears that your pet is suffering from separation anxiety.	1.3891	0.03947	275	194	55	26
1153	You are suffering from Bronchial Obstructive Asthma, but we doctors call it BOA	1.3889	0.04231	234	164	49	21
1154	I'll just write 'got himself in a bind' and leave it at that.	1.3889	0.04274	234	165	47	22
1155	Shortness of breath. Anything else bothering you?	1.3887	0.03865	283	199	58	26
1156	You seem fine but your snake seems wound pretty tight.	1.3887	0.03947	265	185	57	23
1157	I'm going to go ahead and schedule you for a hiss-terectomy.	1.3887	0.04111	247	173	52	22
1158	Scales don't lie...	1.3887	0.04151	247	174	50	23
1159	In cases like this I often recommend snake oil.	1.3885	0.03925	260	180	59	21
1160	You have to find a different emotional support animal.	1.3884	0.04372	242	175	40	27
1161	Coiliosis.	1.3884	0.04171	242	170	50	22
1162	I'm not judging you but if you're naked under there tell me now.	1.3882	0.04242	255	184	43	28
1163	i’m writing a prescription that should help you unwind	1.3882	0.03861	255	174	63	18
1164	Not the best choice of therapy pet.	1.3881	0.03914	268	187	58	23
1165	Have you traveled outside of the country in the last 30 days?	1.3880	0.03955	250	172	59	19
1166	You need to unwind a bit.	1.3879	0.03985	232	157	60	15
1167	Studies show that it is an extremely effective treatment for constipation	1.3879	0.04428	232	167	40	25
1168	In the plus column, you’ve quit smoking.	1.3878	0.03893	263	182	60	21
1169	It says here you're been feeling a bit constricted. I'm thinking it's probably the snake, but going to have to run some more tests just to be sure.	1.3878	0.04052	245	170	55	20
1170	Well, it's not worms.	1.3878	0.04052	245	170	55	20
1171	Just when did you begin to feel this tightness in your chest?	1.3877	0.03867	276	193	59	24
1172	Have you been out of the country during the last two weeks?"	1.3877	0.03867	276	193	59	24
1173	Well, I have some good news. It’s not cancer...	1.3877	0.04092	227	155	56	16
1174	He seems a bit lonely and depressed. Give him 2 of these a day to unwind.	1.3877	0.04368	227	161	44	22
1175	I misunderstood when you told me you liked to wear your wife's boa.	1.3876	0.04059	258	182	52	24
1176	We don't accept Cobra.	1.3876	0.04738	209	152	33	24
1177	Any concerns today other than feeling constricted?	1.3875	0.04154	240	168	51	21
1178	It's probably benign, but there's a small chance it could lead to the Fall of Man.	1.3875	0.03982	240	164	59	17
1179	You may experience some side effects such dizziness, nausea, blurred vision, or in rare cases, asphyxiation.	1.3874	0.04299	222	155	48	19
1180	Well, the good news is you're not having a heart attack....	1.3874	0.04203	222	153	52	17
1181	I think you need a chance to unwind.	1.3874	0.03921	253	174	60	19
1182	It won't relieve your back pain, but it will take your mind off of it.	1.3872	0.04085	235	162	55	18
1183	Can you let go of your human now,so I can examine you?	1.3872	0.04216	235	165	49	21
1184	First the good news, you don't have a tape worm.	1.3872	0.04427	235	170	39	26
1185	I'll write him a little something for separation anxiety.	1.3870	0.03875	261	180	61	20
1186	Your's is the first case this season."	1.3868	0.03860	243	164	64	15
1187	Any chest pain or shortness of breath?	1.3868	0.04075	243	169	54	20
1188	HOW DID YOU GET YOUR JACKET OFF?	1.3868	0.04238	243	173	46	24
1189	It’s nothing serious. Just try to unwind a bit.	1.3867	0.03928	256	177	59	20
1190	The good news is it's not ringworm.	1.3867	0.03928	256	177	59	20
1191	I'm going to recommend Boa-tox.	1.3867	0.04529	225	163	37	25
1192	I presume you want a note for your emotional support snake.	1.3866	0.04303	238	170	44	24
1193	The good news is that it’s not a tapeworm. The bad news...	1.3865	0.04622	207	148	38	21
1194	It's been going around.	1.3865	0.03860	251	171	63	17
1195	As herpetologists go, you're too wrapped up in your work.	1.3865	0.04364	251	184	37	30
1196	Cough.	1.3863	0.04054	277	200	47	30
1197	HE SEEMS TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU.	1.3863	0.04370	233	167	42	24
1198	What’s eating you?	1.3862	0.04039	246	171	55	20
1199	We'll have to run more tests to be sure.	1.3862	0.04278	246	177	43	26
1200	So, how was Florida this year?	1.3862	0.03914	246	168	61	17
1201	So, besides a little tightness in your chest, any other symptoms?	1.3860	0.04195	215	147	53	15
1202	Is anything else bothering you today?	1.3860	0.04495	215	153	41	21
1203	That tight feeling around your chest... I think I know what it is.	1.3860	0.04396	228	163	42	23
1204	This is exactly why we recommend vaccinations.	1.3859	0.04055	241	167	55	19
1205	I have some snake oil that may actually work in this case.	1.3859	0.04140	241	169	51	21
1206	By any chance, were you recently on a plane?	1.3859	0.04263	241	172	45	24
1207	She handed me an apple and said she’d be right back.	1.3858	0.04289	254	185	40	29
1208	Basically you’re fine, except that your blood pressure is a tad high and there’s a slight rattle in your chest.	1.3857	0.04472	210	148	43	19
1209	The best I can do is prescribe you an emotional support mongoose.	1.3856	0.04329	236	169	43	24
1210	An aspirins for you. A muscle relaxer for her.	1.3856	0.03936	236	160	61	15
1211	You need to learn to unwind.	1.3856	0.03843	236	158	65	13
1212	This new organic body cast will help realign your spine and it is environmentally friendly.	1.3856	0.04159	236	165	51	20
1213	Slightly constricted or very constricted?	1.3856	0.04115	236	164	53	19
1214	Well, I think I've determined the cause of your high blood pressure.	1.3855	0.04044	249	174	54	21
1215	Can you describe the tightness in your chest?	1.3855	0.04278	249	180	42	27
1216	If you relax, he’ll relax. Have you tried meditation?	1.3855	0.03787	262	179	65	18
1217	What seems to be the problem here?	1.3855	0.04010	275	197	50	28
1218	Have you traveled outside the country recently?	1.3853	0.04222	231	162	49	20
1219	So, how was the Amazon?	1.3852	0.04061	244	170	54	20
1220	You need to give up wearing boas, they're too constricting.	1.3852	0.04224	244	174	46	24
1221	The good news is your blood work came back & looks great.	1.3852	0.03837	257	176	63	18
1222	So you're feeling constricted?	1.3852	0.03891	270	189	58	23
1223	Do you want me to write you a note for work?	1.3850	0.04379	226	161	43	22
1224	The good news is your cholesterol looks great.	1.3850	0.03904	226	151	63	12
1225	A tightness in your chest... any other symptoms?"	1.3850	0.04242	226	158	49	19
1226	Sir, we cannot perform the operation until you sign the documents.	1.3850	0.04148	226	156	53	17
1227	The python comes off when you start paying your deductible.	1.3849	0.04205	239	169	48	22
1228	Blood pressure is a little high, otherwise I’d say you’re good to go	1.3849	0.03889	252	173	61	18
1229	That frog in your throat has led to other complications.	1.3849	0.04009	252	176	55	21
1230	I thought you selected the COBRA plan with full coverage.	1.3849	0.04239	252	182	43	27
1231	Have you been under any pressure lately?	1.3846	0.04146	247	175	49	23
1232	Are you her main squeeze?	1.3846	0.04269	234	166	46	22
1233	Before I examine your throat, Mr. Jones, I'm gonna have to ask you to remove your boa.	1.3846	0.04094	234	162	54	18
1234	Now Cough	1.3846	0.04066	247	173	53	21
1235	Shortness of breath? You smoke?	1.3843	0.04165	255	183	46	26
1236	I don't know what to tell you doc, it just started with a frog in my throat.	1.3843	0.04167	242	171	49	22
1237	You can remove the boa also. You haven't got anything that I haven't seen before.	1.3843	0.04247	229	161	48	20
1238	Didn't the nurse ask you to take EVERYTHING off?	1.3843	0.04424	229	165	40	24
1239	Now which toe did you say is bothering you?	1.3840	0.04272	237	169	45	23
1240	So, Mr. Schmidt, what seems to be the problem?	1.3840	0.04436	237	173	37	27
1241	The good news is we’ve resolved your low blood pressure issue.	1.3840	0.04057	237	164	55	18
1242	Here’s a prescription for snake oil, but you may not need it.	1.3839	0.04268	224	157	48	19
1243	Dr. Scott is the best herpetologist I know, and he's a real charmer, too.	1.3836	0.04423	232	168	39	25
1244	The good news is that the tightness you feel is not because of a heart attack.	1.3836	0.04251	232	164	47	21
1245	Please slip out of your boa and put on the robe. Then we can begin your exam.	1.3834	0.03917	253	175	59	19
1246	This wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned when I said “emotional support animal.”	1.3834	0.04035	253	178	53	22
1247	We'll run some tests, but I've got a hunch you picked something up when you were on safari.	1.3834	0.03626	253	168	73	12
1248	I'd like to run a few more tests before making a diagnosis.	1.3834	0.03917	253	175	59	19
1249	Take two mongooses and see me in the morning.	1.3834	0.03957	253	176	57	20
1250	I'm prescribing a fairly aggressive muscle relaxant first. And then, charm school.	1.3833	0.04232	240	171	46	23
1251	I suggest you find a new way to unwind.	1.3833	0.03977	240	165	58	17
1252	Have you offered it a cow?	1.3833	0.04232	240	171	46	23
1253	Okay you can put your clothes back on	1.3833	0.04232	240	171	46	23
1254	We don't have a code for boa constrictor--let's just call it chest pain	1.3833	0.04180	227	158	51	18
1255	We need to remove that mole on your face immediately.	1.3831	0.04093	261	187	48	26
1256	Well, next time, accept the apple...	1.3831	0.04200	261	190	42	29
1257	Not so charming, is it.	1.3831	0.04053	248	174	53	21
1258	Well, your snake is in perfect health.	1.3831	0.03846	248	169	63	16
1259	The bad news is that your support animal has not been approved for air travel.	1.3831	0.04211	248	178	45	25
1260	WebMD says it’s asthma.	1.3830	0.04035	235	162	56	17
1261	Does it hurt when you laugh?	1.3828	0.04001	256	180	54	22
1262	You're not covered, but the snake is - Trump Care.	1.3826	0.04321	230	164	44	22
1263	When they told you to wear a boa for drag night, I think they meant a scarf.	1.3826	0.04365	230	165	42	23
1264	You might have to go out of network.	1.3826	0.04094	264	190	47	27
1265	So besides the tightness in the chest...?	1.3825	0.04214	217	150	51	16
1266	I'm referring you to a herpetologist, but she's out of network."	1.3825	0.04057	251	177	52	22
1267	Any tightness, heavy pressure, or squeezing around chest area?	1.3824	0.04130	238	167	51	20
1268	Actually, I WOULD recommend snake oil.	1.3824	0.03999	238	164	57	17
1269	So, a little tightness. Where?	1.3824	0.04173	238	168	49	21
1270	So what seems to be bothering you today?	1.3822	0.04151	259	187	45	27
1271	I think we've found the reason for your shortness of breath.	1.3822	0.04252	225	158	48	19
1272	Chest pressure? Okay. Can you be a bit more specific?	1.3821	0.04034	246	172	54	20
1273	Sir, I know you're scared, but you're going to have to remove the therapy snake.	1.3821	0.04235	246	177	44	25
1274	Your insurance company claims it was a pre-existing condition.	1.3821	0.03909	246	169	60	17
1275	And this is why you don't trust ads from the internet.	1.3821	0.04156	246	175	48	23
1276	Well, the contractions are three minutes apart and dilation has begun, but unfortunately you’re in breech position, Mr. Coyle.	1.3821	0.04386	212	149	45	18
1277	It's probably nothing, but we can run some tests.	1.3819	0.04061	254	180	51	23
1278	I said "restrictive diet" not "constrictive diet"	1.3818	0.03939	275	196	53	26
1279	It seems you picked up an exotic organism on your trip abroad."	1.3818	0.03696	275	189	67	19
1280	Tightness in the chest could result from a number of causes.	1.3817	0.04050	241	168	54	19
1281	Does he usually frighten this easily when he goes to the vet ?	1.3815	0.03957	270	192	53	25
1282	We find it more cost effective than collection agencies.	1.3814	0.04021	236	163	56	17
1283	Before I examine you, Mr. Boa, I must ask that you please put down your emotional-support human.	1.3814	0.04324	236	170	42	24
1284	Well, Sir, it seems you have your head up your asp.	1.3812	0.04417	223	160	41	22
1285	Finally, a contraceptive coil that's fool proof.	1.3811	0.04298	244	177	41	26
1286	And just when did these contractions begin?	1.3811	0.04259	244	176	43	25
1287	So, I understand that you are her therapy human.	1.3810	0.04159	252	181	46	25
1288	We're probably going to go back to the old style blood pressure monitors. There's some problems with these.	1.3810	0.04004	252	177	54	21
1289	Routine question,we ask everybody ... do you feel safe at home?	1.3810	0.04197	252	182	44	26
1290	The good news is we've fixed the hissing in your ear.	1.3810	0.03925	252	175	58	19
1291	Any peanut allergy?	1.3810	0.04159	252	181	46	25
1292	I'm recommending boatox."	1.3808	0.04029	260	185	51	24
1293	OK, let's skip the "breathe deeply" for now.	1.3808	0.04116	239	168	51	20
1294	I have your "emotional support animal" papers here, but sir, I still don't think you will be able to fly without clothing"	1.3808	0.04029	239	166	55	18
1295	It's our new way to collect co-pays.	1.3808	0.04200	239	170	47	22
1296	I stand corrected. You should feed Larry more than once a year.	1.3808	0.04283	239	172	43	24
1297	Which garden were you in?	1.3807	0.04097	218	149	55	14
1298	I'm going to prescribe him some oxycodone and he should loosen right up.	1.3806	0.04061	247	174	52	21
1299	It's surprisingly good at detecting high blood pressure, and no one can pronounce sphygmomanometer anyway.	1.3806	0.03853	247	169	62	16
1300	Ironic that using a Python for constipation is covered by your COBRA plan.	1.3806	0.04298	247	180	40	27
1301	Sir, we do accept Cobra insurance. However, we do not accept insurance for cobras. You may want to contact your provider for clarification.	1.3806	0.04102	247	175	50	22
1302	You're lucky that we were able to squeeze you in.	1.3803	0.04178	234	165	49	20
1303	If I can just get you to sign this insurance form, we’ll have a look at you.	1.3803	0.03814	284	201	58	25
1304	Not to worry. This happens occasionally with people who opt for COBRA medical coverage.	1.3802	0.04138	263	191	44	28
1305	I'm not liking that blood pressure.	1.3802	0.03922	263	185	56	22
1306	Next time, just remember, what goes around comes around.	1.3802	0.04121	242	171	50	21
1307	Two rats a day, given orally, should gradually relieve that constricting sensation	1.3802	0.03863	242	165	62	15
1308	Your insurance won't cover you until there's a fifth coil.	1.3802	0.04121	242	171	50	21
1309	Not all of these “Natural Slimming Aids “ work.	1.3802	0.04162	242	172	48	22
1310	Okay sir, the chart says you are 46 years old, currently employed as a civil serpent..sorry, servant.	1.3802	0.04162	242	172	48	22
1311	Any trouble breathing prior to getting the snake?	1.3802	0.03951	242	167	58	17
1312	… good length for his age, healthy skin color--- oh, you mean you-- two broken ribs and a crushed sternum.	1.3800	0.04183	250	180	45	25
1313	So, what exactly has brought you into the clinic today?	1.3799	0.04287	229	163	45	21
1314	Everything looks good..Though I am a bit concerned about your blood pressure.	1.3799	0.04196	229	161	49	19
1315	The test results suggest you may be a carrier of some kind of tropical pest.	1.3798	0.04013	258	183	52	23
1316	""On a positive note, you'll get a very nice set of luggage out of this."	1.3798	0.03741	258	176	66	16
1317	So, looks like you’re no longer on cobra.	1.3798	0.04232	258	189	40	29
1318	Unfortunately, the nearest zoo is out-of-network.	1.3798	0.03975	258	182	54	22
1319	I'd like to run some tests to see what the problem is	1.3797	0.04471	237	175	34	28
1320	Stripping to your skivvies includes removing your boa.	1.3796	0.04275	216	151	48	17
1321	So at first she was just wrapped around your little finger?	1.3796	0.04205	245	176	45	24
1322	Shortness of breath can mean any number of things.	1.3796	0.04205	245	176	45	24
1323	When I said, "Get it on Amazon" I meant the website	1.3796	0.04284	245	178	41	26
1324	Clarence, we've discussed this before, humans are bad for your cholesterol	1.3795	0.04401	224	161	41	22
1325	Any symptoms other than chest pains?	1.3795	0.03920	224	151	61	12
1326	I'm going give you something that will help you unwind.	1.3795	0.04119	224	155	53	16
1327	So, tell me what brings you in today.	1.3794	0.03952	253	177	56	20
1328	Look at it this way, most people are up to their neck in debt.	1.3793	0.04157	232	163	50	19
1329	No, that's a different kind cobra insurance.	1.3793	0.04202	232	164	48	20
1330	So when you got laid off you got on COBRA, and this happened?	1.3793	0.04125	261	189	45	27
1331	One Mongoose, at breakfast, as needed.	1.3793	0.04157	232	163	50	19
1332	Dr. Oz is wrong about this, too.	1.3793	0.04112	232	162	52	18
1333	I’m going need you to cough.	1.3792	0.04016	240	167	55	18
1334	So,I see that you're here for a second opinion.	1.3792	0.03838	240	163	63	14
1335	Now I understand the need to squeeze you in.	1.3790	0.04128	248	177	48	23
1336	Why are you here ?	1.3790	0.04474	219	158	39	22
1337	I could prescribe a muscle relaxant, for the snake of course.	1.3789	0.04034	256	182	51	23
1338	We'll give you some Advil for the chest pain, and some mice for the snake"	1.3789	0.04358	227	163	42	22
1339	Well...we can still check your prostate.	1.3788	0.03835	264	184	60	20
1340	Well, that about wraps it up	1.3787	0.04075	235	164	53	18
1341	You may feel a little tightness in your chest for a few days.	1.3787	0.04249	235	168	45	22
1342	The good news is the snake is doing very well	1.3786	0.03681	280	194	66	20
1343	Well, you must understand sir, that this is a veterinarian's office, so of course our first concern is, 'What can we do to save this snake?'	1.3785	0.04352	214	151	45	18
1344	It says here there's a tightness in your chest?	1.3785	0.04352	214	151	45	18
1345	So, what brings you to my office?	1.3785	0.04501	214	154	39	21
1346	You seem rattled, Fred.	1.3783	0.04403	230	167	39	24
1347	The tests confirm it. It's a human stuck in your coils. That'll have to be removed.	1.3782	0.03798	275	193	60	22
1348	...on the other hand Brad, it looks like your constipation is no longer a problem.	1.3782	0.04210	238	170	46	22
1349	Our blood pressure machine is out of order, so we are using him.	1.3782	0.04252	238	171	44	23
1350	Well, a tightness around the chest doesn't always mean that you will die from a heart attack.	1.3780	0.03946	246	171	57	18
1351	Any wheezing or shortness of breath?	1.3780	0.03819	254	175	62	17
1352	This is what happens when you deny cobra coverage.	1.3780	0.04169	254	184	44	26
1353	Well, going out on a limb here, that tightness in your chest might not be bronchitis	1.3779	0.04455	217	156	40	21
1354	No, it's not a tapeworm...	1.3779	0.03967	262	186	53	23
1355	I had prescribed compression socks but never mind.	1.3778	0.04006	225	154	57	14
1356	So Eve told you that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?	1.3778	0.04247	225	159	47	19
1357	Coils! My nurse thought you said boils	1.3777	0.03734	278	194	63	21
1358	"GIVE HIM 2 RATS, 1 LIZARD AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING.	1.3777	0.04052	233	162	54	17
1359	He needs to cut down on mice, but otherwise he's in good health.	1.3777	0.04231	233	166	46	21
1360	At this point, it's not the cancer I would worry about.	1.3776	0.04045	241	169	53	19
1361	On the plus side, your foot fungus has completely cleared up.	1.3776	0.03959	241	167	57	17
1362	What do you suppose is triggering your anxiety this time?	1.3776	0.04045	241	169	53	19
1363	Let’s try two dead rats and call me in the morning.	1.3776	0.03915	241	166	59	16
1364	Unfortunately, your insurance only covers bites.	1.3776	0.03915	241	166	59	16
1365	I'm going to prescribe an antidepressant to help you unwind.	1.3776	0.03959	241	167	57	17
1366	So this is your comfort animal?	1.3775	0.03871	249	172	60	17
1367	I'm going to recommend not poking it.	1.3775	0.03994	249	175	54	20
1368	I think I know what's causing the tightness in your chest, but just to be sure, let's do lots of tests.	1.3775	0.04114	249	178	48	23
1369	I'm sorry Sir, but it looks like this is a pre-existing constrictor.	1.3775	0.04034	249	176	52	21
1370	Well, it could explain that feeling of tightness in your chest.	1.3774	0.03828	257	178	61	18
1371	I highly doubt it's contagious.	1.3774	0.03828	257	178	61	18
1372	Please tell me the reason for your visit to the clinic today.	1.3774	0.03983	257	182	53	22
1373	Your high blood pressure appears to be stress related. I suggest you try to unwind.	1.3774	0.03786	265	184	62	19
1374	...and one of you call me in the morning.	1.3774	0.03934	265	188	54	23
1375	So, you’re experiencing some tightness in your chest? Let me run a few tests and see if I can figure out what’s going on.	1.3774	0.03671	265	181	68	16
1376	I'm afraid the emotional support snake will have to come off as well.	1.3772	0.03840	281	200	56	25
1377	The good news is that I figured out why you have shortness of breath.	1.3772	0.04160	228	160	50	18
1378	When did you last feed him?	1.3772	0.04066	228	158	54	16
1379	It's not as rare as people think.	1.3771	0.04105	236	166	51	19
1380	Don't shoot the messenger, you won't believe the things your HMO excludes.	1.3771	0.04192	236	168	47	21
1381	Your vitals are fine, but I suggest you take a few days off and unwind.	1.3771	0.04060	236	165	53	18
1382	‘So a little tightness in your chest?’	1.3770	0.03837	244	167	62	15
1383	Well, the good news is it isn’t venomous.	1.3770	0.03924	244	169	58	17
1384	Yeah, this has been going around.	1.3770	0.04093	244	173	50	21
1385	I am prescribing a muscle relaxer for you and a small gazelle for the snake.	1.3770	0.04009	244	171	54	19
1386	Okay, and what seems to be the problem today?	1.3770	0.04078	252	180	49	23
1387	Any coughing, wheezing or tightening of the chest?	1.3770	0.03960	252	177	55	20
1388	I’m prescribing something to unwind you.	1.3770	0.03838	252	174	61	17
1389	First the good news - that tightness in your chest is not a heart attack.	1.3769	0.03793	268	187	61	20
1390	So far, nothing obvious. We'll have to do more tests.	1.3767	0.03859	292	211	52	29
1391	I see, any other complaints?	1.3766	0.04167	231	163	49	19
1392	So Mr. Johnson, what brings you here today?	1.3766	0.04256	231	165	45	21
1393	First, the mole on your back is no longer a problem.	1.3766	0.03845	239	163	62	14
1394	You appear to be constricted.	1.3766	0.04195	239	171	46	22
1395	Removing the snake is doable... getting you “back to the garden”, not so much.	1.3766	0.04237	239	172	44	23
1396	I’m ordering a PET scan to help diagnose the cause of your constriction	1.3765	0.03766	255	175	64	16
1397	Besides that, is everything else normal?	1.3764	0.04027	263	189	49	25
1398	And why have you come in today?	1.3762	0.04356	210	148	45	17
1399	If it's not bothering you we won't do anything right now.	1.3761	0.04041	226	156	55	15
1400	We'll have to run some tests.	1.3761	0.03992	234	162	56	16
1401	The good news is you’re not in danger. The bad news is you’re endangered.	1.3760	0.03989	242	169	55	18
1402	The next time you dress in drag Mr. Jones, Id try a feather boa.	1.3760	0.04139	250	180	46	24
1403	Now that we've cured your fear of snakes, is there anything else we can help you with?	1.3760	0.03932	258	182	55	21
1404	Your insurance says they only cover snake bites.	1.3755	0.04134	237	168	49	20
1405	We can help you with the Full Monty, but not the Python.	1.3755	0.04038	245	173	52	20
1406	Don't worry. It's going around.	1.3755	0.03862	261	183	58	20
1407	Difficulty breathing...feeling the world is closing in on you...sounds like a anxiety. I’ll give you something to help unwind.	1.3755	0.04010	277	202	46	29
1408	Sorry, but with your insurance this is the only pet scan they will pay for	1.3750	0.04152	232	164	49	19
1409	Yeah, man, you’re fucked.	1.3750	0.04358	256	192	32	32
1410	You do understand he doesn’t think of himself as a pet?	1.3750	0.04083	248	177	49	22
1411	I notice your blood pressure is a bit high.	1.3750	0.04002	248	175	53	20
1412	Maybe we could move your service viper to the chair”	1.3750	0.03961	248	174	55	19
1413	Why don't you take a week off work and go and unwind somewhere?	1.3750	0.03961	248	174	55	19
1414	I need you to take everything off, Mr Cooper please.	1.3750	0.04002	248	175	53	20
1415	And what happened to the gerbil?	1.3750	0.03880	280	201	53	26
1416	What do you mean, 'I think I came home with something from Africa?'	1.3750	0.03878	248	172	59	17
1417	I found out the reason of your discomfort. You have a human tangled up in your coils.	1.3745	0.03723	275	192	63	20
1418	So tell me when you noticed this tightness in your chest.	1.3745	0.03863	275	196	55	24
1419	Wear it for three days and your constipation will be gone.	1.3745	0.03931	275	198	51	26
1420	Restricted movement. Any other symptoms?	1.3745	0.03920	259	183	55	21
1421	Well Mr. Jones, you say you are experiencing tightness in the chest. As you may know, that has many causes. Let’s get a CT, MRI,EKG, sonogram, upper endoscopy, colonoscopy, cardiac cath, some blood work and we’ll get to the bottom of this.	1.3745	0.04125	251	181	46	24
1422	It says here you would like something removed.	1.3745	0.04087	251	180	48	23
1423	I think we’ll skip the prostate exam today.	1.3745	0.04224	243	176	43	24
1424	You can get dressed now. I think I've discovered your problem.	1.3745	0.03845	243	167	61	15
1425	Maybe the insurance code for vasoconstriction is close enough	1.3745	0.03889	243	168	59	16
1426	So.....what are your symptoms?	1.3745	0.04069	235	165	52	18
1427	I'm prescribing some snake oil. After a few days, you should be able to slip right out of its grip.	1.3745	0.04287	235	170	42	23
1428	I’ll endorse your emotional support python, but I make no guarantees about snakes on a plane.	1.3744	0.04262	227	162	45	20
1429	I’ll just prescribe a little something to help you both relax.	1.3744	0.04122	227	159	51	17
1430	Any tightness in your chest....difficulty breathing?	1.3744	0.04421	219	158	40	21
1431	Next of Kin: Eve	1.3741	0.03878	270	192	55	23
1432	Does it feel any better if you lie on a warm road?	1.3740	0.04225	246	179	42	25
1433	I see you told the nurse that you're feeling a tightening in your chest, is that right?	1.3740	0.04106	246	176	48	22
1434	Offhand, I'd say you're not actually paranoid.	1.3740	0.04024	246	174	52	20
1435	How long have you have you had this feeling of tightness in your chest?	1.3739	0.04266	230	165	44	21
1436	I would be a bit more cautious on Tinder in the future"	1.3739	0.04310	230	166	42	22
1437	Tightness in your chest can be caused by many things, so let's not jump to conclusions until we've run a few tests.	1.3738	0.04295	214	151	46	17
1438	You said it's 'slowly squeezing the life out of you'. Sounds like my ex.	1.3735	0.03823	257	179	60	18
1439	No, it’s not in your head ... this relationship is definitely suffocating you.	1.3735	0.03823	249	172	61	16
1440	It says here you're having trouble breathing?	1.3735	0.03865	249	173	59	17
1441	So tell me, Mr. Jones, when did you first notice you had difficulty breathing?	1.3735	0.03865	249	173	59	17
1442	It's never the obvious reason. Let's run a few tests to see why you're short of breath.	1.3735	0.03989	249	176	53	20
1443	It says here Adam that you had a bad reaction to an apple.	1.3734	0.04329	241	177	38	26
1444	I know men wear boas these days, but yours is a bit constricting, no?	1.3734	0.04166	241	173	46	22
1445	Yes, difficulty in breathing, and what else?	1.3734	0.04040	241	170	52	19
1446	I have a hunch about your shortness of breath, but your insurance company requires more tests.	1.3734	0.04166	241	173	46	22
1447	I'm recommending that you switch to a feather boa.	1.3733	0.04241	225	160	46	19
1448	OK, so the inhaler didn’t work.	1.3733	0.04287	225	161	44	20
1449	So tell me what the problem is.	1.3732	0.04051	276	203	43	30
1450	Look...it's your choice. Do you want to feel embraced & loved, or do you want to breathe?	1.3731	0.04129	260	190	43	27
1451	I can prescribe a muscle relaxant, but you have to figure out how to give it to the snake.	1.3730	0.04046	244	173	51	20
1452	I don’t think I can treat this. It’s an endangered species.	1.3729	0.04229	236	170	44	22
1453	Hmm, shortness of breath. Anything else?	1.3726	0.03644	263	180	68	15
1454	Feeling any tightness in your chest?	1.3725	0.04000	255	182	51	22
1455	In fact, it is the opposite of a tape worm.	1.3725	0.04038	255	183	49	23
1456	Your cholesterol is down, but your blood pressure is out of control.	1.3725	0.04132	247	178	46	23
1457	Have you noticed any other symptoms?	1.3725	0.03928	247	173	56	18
1458	Take 3 aspirin,give him 3 rabbits,and call me in the morning.	1.3725	0.03885	247	172	58	17
1459	This isn't even covered in Canada, unfortunately.	1.3724	0.04190	239	172	45	22
1460	Ok, give him two mice and call me in the morning.	1.3724	0.04062	239	169	51	19
1461	Everything seems to be perfectly normal, was there a specific reason for your visit today?	1.3724	0.03975	239	167	55	17
1462	It's actually good he has you covered -- his plan's deductible is much lower.	1.3723	0.04206	231	165	46	20
1463	And you ate the entire apple?	1.3723	0.04161	231	164	48	19
1464	Have you tried asking nicely?	1.3722	0.03693	266	184	65	17
1465	And, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the discomfort?	1.3721	0.03928	258	183	54	21
1466	Your blood work looks fine, however there appears to be a circulation problem.	1.3719	0.04110	242	173	48	21
1467	After ruling out all the possibilities, I have concluded that he just really likes you	1.3719	0.03983	242	170	54	18
1468	I’m not worried about your medical coverage I can see you have COBRA	1.3719	0.04110	242	173	48	21
1469	I'm afraid you've got the Grippe	1.3719	0.03940	242	169	56	17
1470	Compression stockings should take care of those cold feet.	1.3719	0.04068	242	172	50	20
1471	Don't be modest, take off the snake.	1.3719	0.03896	242	168	58	16
1472	I've got some pills for that, but you might have a hard time swallowing them.	1.3718	0.04167	234	167	47	20
1473	You are fine but the boa needs to unwind.	1.3718	0.04078	234	165	51	18
1474	Get more exercise, eat more vegetables, and avoid the Amazon river basin.	1.3718	0.04167	234	167	47	20
1475	Well, if it’s any consolation, it seems to like you.	1.3717	0.04083	226	158	52	16
1476	I’ll write the note but have you considered a therapy dog instead?	1.3717	0.04363	226	164	40	22
1477	Soooo . . . a general tightness in the chest?	1.3716	0.03741	261	181	63	17
1478	Ha! Everyone's a doctor after they've googled their symptoms.	1.3716	0.03895	261	185	55	21
1479	On a positive note, he's bulimic.	1.3715	0.03738	253	174	64	15
1480	Well at least it isn't a frog in the throat.	1.3714	0.04401	210	150	42	18
1481	I see here that you're out of work. Do you by any chance have COBRA?	1.3714	0.04114	245	176	47	22
1482	Chest tightness, difficulty breathing,...any other symptoms?	1.3714	0.04032	245	174	51	20
1483	So what seems to be the problem today?"	1.3713	0.04171	237	170	46	21
1484	I’ll write a prescription for a deconstrictant.	1.3713	0.04041	237	167	52	18
1485	So this is what you meant when you said you were constricted	1.3713	0.04041	237	167	52	18
1486	A scarf during cold and flu season. A boa is merely affectation	1.3713	0.04085	237	168	50	19
1487	I had to Google this one.	1.3713	0.04214	237	171	44	22
1488	A little tight, but much better than those gowns that leave you naked in the back	1.3713	0.04171	237	170	46	21
1489	Insurance is denying your claim, as only they have the legal right to squeeze you.	1.3712	0.04139	229	162	49	18
1490	I've run some tests and think I've found the cause of your high blood pressure	1.3712	0.03998	229	159	55	15
1491	I’m prescribing snake oil	1.3711	0.04025	256	184	49	23
1492	So, what about "Don't Tread on Me" did you not understand?	1.3711	0.03987	256	183	51	22
1493	Well, The good news is the tightness in your chest is not the result of a heart attack	1.3710	0.04244	221	157	46	18
1494	I changed my mind, could you please put the shirt back on?	1.3710	0.04196	248	181	42	25
1495	Well, the symptoms you describe could be caused by any number of things	1.3710	0.04078	248	178	48	22
1496	And you first noticed this when?	1.3708	0.03917	240	167	57	16
1497	Give the snake one or two of these muscle relaxants when you find you can’t breathe	1.3708	0.04133	240	172	47	21
1498	Which one of you is known as Monty?	1.3707	0.03915	232	160	58	14
1499	One prescription for an Emotional Support mongoose.	1.3707	0.03991	259	186	50	23
1500	We're gonna need insurance pre-authorzation for an anacondectomy...	1.3705	0.04344	224	162	41	21
1501	I'm referring you to a veterinarian. I suspect your snake is suffering from a treatable case of separation anxiety.	1.3705	0.04121	251	182	45	24
1502	I see they squeezed you in	1.3705	0.04121	251	182	45	24
1503	You say you signed up for Cobra health?	1.3705	0.03882	251	176	57	18
1504	It doesn't matter--your COBRA coverage has still expired.	1.3704	0.04259	243	178	40	25
1505	I’m going to have to refer you to a veterinarian.	1.3704	0.03970	243	171	54	18
1506	You'll have to uncoil your emotional support animal so we can proceed.	1.3704	0.04096	243	174	48	21
1507	Mr. Johnson, based on all these tests, I feel the cause of your high blood pressure is stress.	1.3704	0.04219	243	177	42	24
1508	I might suggest a different emotional support animal for your stress.	1.3704	0.04096	243	174	48	21
1509	Let's start with a few questions about your lifestyle.	1.3702	0.03807	262	184	59	19
1510	Have you travelled outside of the US in the past month?	1.3702	0.03957	262	188	51	23
1511	No, I said a RESTRICTED diet.	1.3702	0.03845	262	185	57	20
1512	This certainly could be the reason you’re constipated.	1.3702	0.03957	262	188	51	23
1513	How long has this man been bothering you?	1.3702	0.04365	235	173	37	25
1514	Let's start from the beginning. Do you have any allergies?	1.3701	0.03929	254	180	54	20
1515	I'm glad to report we've ruled out asthma"	1.3701	0.04008	254	182	50	22
1516	And how long have you had trouble swallowing?	1.3700	0.04210	227	162	46	19
1517	...and what can I help you with today?	1.3699	0.04019	246	175	51	20
1518	You're covered but I'm afraid the snake is out of network.	1.3699	0.03977	246	174	53	19
1519	Yeah, that's the problem with our new hospital gowns. Everybody sees your asp.	1.3699	0.04019	246	175	51	20
1520	We'll know more when the tests come in but I'll bet this is something tropical.	1.3699	0.03850	246	171	59	16
1521	Have you been under any unusual pressure lately?	1.3697	0.04114	238	170	48	20
1522	So you say your symptoms are shortness of breath, loss of mobility and trouble sleeping?	1.3696	0.04012	257	185	49	23
1523	On the plus side, it's not poisonous.	1.3696	0.03571	257	174	71	12
1524	I'll get to the snake in a minute, did you give us a copy of the front and back of your insurance card?	1.3696	0.04124	230	163	49	18
1525	Frankly, when you phoned the ER about the boa wrapped around your neck, we assumed feathers and alerted Psychiatry.	1.3696	0.04124	230	163	49	18
1526	You're going to be just fine, but the snake has got to stop smoking.	1.3695	0.04064	249	179	48	22
1527	Take a mongoose and call me in the morning	1.3695	0.03688	249	170	66	13
1528	I suggest we try a muscle relaxant.	1.3695	0.03984	249	177	52	20
1529	You're right; there IS a lot of it going around.	1.3695	0.04182	249	182	42	25
1530	What seems to be the problem?	1.3694	0.03928	268	193	51	24
1531	The good news is that it will let you go once mating season ends. The bad news is that you are pregnant.	1.3694	0.04370	222	161	40	21
1532	Besides the tightness in your chest do you have any other complaints?	1.3692	0.03902	260	185	54	21
1533	I'm going to prescribe two mice and check with you in the morning.	1.3692	0.03707	260	180	64	16
1534	I don't think you'll need a follow-up appointment.	1.3692	0.03748	279	198	59	22
1535	We use this for blood pressure when the nurse is off.	1.3692	0.03982	279	205	45	29
1536	You're in very good health Mr. President.	1.3692	0.03883	279	202	51	26
1537	I think you should reconsider your support animal choices.	1.3692	0.04439	214	155	39	20
1538	Would you say it’s pain or just pressure?	1.3691	0.04176	233	167	46	20
1539	Now just relax while Mr. Slinky takes your blood pressure.	1.3691	0.04220	233	168	44	21
1540	Your cholesterol and blood sugar look fine. Its the venom levels that concern me.	1.3691	0.04131	233	166	48	19
1541	Well, I would say get rid of it, if it doesn't spark joy!	1.3691	0.04263	233	169	42	22
1542	Self medicating I see.	1.3691	0.04086	233	165	50	18
1543	Your insurance will only cover this if you become unable to breathe.	1.3690	0.04145	252	184	43	25
1544	Other than that, you're in great shape.	1.3690	0.03717	271	190	62	19
1545	Sorry, your HMO only covers anacondas.	1.3690	0.03826	271	193	56	22
1546	Have you tried charming it?”	1.3689	0.04043	225	157	53	15
1547	We figured out the tightness in your chest.	1.3689	0.03913	244	171	56	17
1548	Any numbness or tingling in lower extremities?	1.3689	0.03999	244	173	52	19
1549	OK...other than that anything else...?	1.3689	0.03913	244	171	56	17
1550	Just learn to relax and unwind.	1.3688	0.03617	282	197	66	19
1551	I'm having trouble finding the code under your insurance whereby I get paid.	1.3686	0.04181	236	170	45	21
1552	Now you might feel a little squeeze.	1.3686	0.03820	236	162	61	13
1553	I want you to take two mongooses and call me in the morning.	1.3686	0.03956	255	182	52	21
1554	I said a RE-stricted diet.	1.3686	0.03755	255	177	62	16
1555	I'm going to need you to get undressed.	1.3684	0.03984	266	193	48	25
1556	OK, good. Now breathe out.	1.3684	0.03922	247	174	55	18
1557	But the good news is your hernia seems to have stabilized.	1.3684	0.04101	228	161	50	17
1558	No, I indicated compression socks.	1.3682	0.04056	239	170	50	19
1559	No, that pressure you feel is a snake wrapped around your body. Any other questions?	1.3680	0.03772	269	190	59	20
1560	I'm prescribing a mild muscle relaxant...	1.3680	0.04011	250	179	50	21
1561	Sorry Mr. Johnson... this time I'll write ASP-irin more clearly.	1.3680	0.04200	231	166	45	20
1562	I’m going to start you out on four mice three times a day and we’ll see if that doesn’t reduce the pressure	1.3680	0.03970	231	161	55	15
1563	I'll be giving you a letter that should allow you to fly with the support boa.	1.3680	0.04109	231	164	49	18
1564	Ok, Let's start with your date of birth please.	1.3678	0.04188	242	176	43	23
1565	You must have heard me wrong; I said RESTRICTED diet.	1.3676	0.03897	253	179	55	19
1566	We just need to squeeze one more urine sample out of you and then we'll be done.	1.3676	0.04055	253	183	47	23
1567	The good news is it’s not poisonous.	1.3675	0.03644	234	157	68	9
1568	I don't like the look of these blood pressure numbers.	1.3675	0.03743	283	202	58	23
1569	They didn't kick you off the plane because of your emotional support python. They kicked you off because you weren't wearing pants.	1.3673	0.04109	245	177	46	22
1570	Don't worry, he's just taking your blood pressure.	1.3673	0.03900	245	172	56	17
1571	What brings you in today Mr. York?	1.3673	0.04311	226	164	41	21
1572	If this doesn’t work, we'll talk about liposuction.	1.3671	0.03648	286	202	63	21
1573	So, how's the new zookeeper's job going?	1.3671	0.03807	237	163	61	13
1574	We find the boa keeps you warmer than the paper gowns	1.3671	0.04166	237	171	45	21
1575	There’s nothing to worry about. It’s nonvenomous.	1.3671	0.03854	237	164	59	14
1576	You'll need to lose your support animal	1.3670	0.04425	218	159	38	21
1577	I'm cancelling your appointment for next week.	1.3668	0.04225	229	165	44	20
1578	I ‘m going to prescribe muscle relaxers...	1.3668	0.03992	229	160	54	15
1579	His blood pressure is great. Yours, on the other hand...	1.3668	0.04086	229	162	50	17
1580	This is our new intern - he’ll be taking your blood pressure.	1.3668	0.03910	259	185	53	21
1581	You say you feel a tightness in your chest?	1.3667	0.03955	240	169	54	17
1582	This seems to be a case of bowel constrictor.	1.3667	0.03797	270	192	57	21
1583	I am writing you a prescription to help with the contractions.	1.3665	0.04154	251	184	42	25
1584	You may want to try snake oil.	1.3665	0.03998	251	180	50	21
1585	Any trouble being swallowed?	1.3665	0.04115	251	183	44	24
1586	The good news is that it’s not a skin condition.	1.3665	0.04139	221	156	49	16
1587	And what is your primary complaint?	1.3665	0.04286	221	159	43	19
1588	Good news, bad news- You have high blood pressure, but we think we know the cause.	1.3664	0.03802	262	185	58	19
1589	This particular snake is on the endangered species list, so you are just going to have to learn to live with it.	1.3664	0.04095	232	165	49	18
1590	Your temperature is fine, but he's running a bit cold.	1.3664	0.04140	232	166	47	19
1591	Your name wouldn't be Monty, by any chance?	1.3663	0.04173	243	177	43	23
1592	Yup, it's herpetitis.	1.3663	0.04049	243	174	49	20
1593	All your presenting symptoms point to hypoanacondria, but since you're here let's take a look.	1.3663	0.04049	243	174	49	20
1594	You've got coil-itis."	1.3662	0.04033	213	147	54	12
1595	Ok. So everything looks fine. I'll see you next year.	1.3661	0.03924	254	181	53	20
1596	Good news. The snake is going to be ok.	1.3661	0.03884	254	180	55	19
1597	I see you checked "chest tightness"	1.3660	0.04057	235	167	50	18
1598	It's our new organic blood pressure cuff, from Florida. You will feel some tightening.	1.3660	0.04057	235	167	50	18
1599	I'm afraid all things point to Monty Python Disease.	1.3660	0.04190	235	170	44	21
1600	So, Mr. Clark, what brings you in today?	1.3659	0.03702	276	195	61	20
1601	Sorry, your Cobra doesn't cover boa.	1.3659	0.03977	276	203	45	28
1602	No, it's not herpes; it's herpetology.	1.3659	0.04135	246	179	44	23
1603	Are you a smoker?	1.3659	0.04135	246	179	44	23
1604	No, the epinephrine is for your anaphalaxisis- the rat is for the anaconda.	1.3659	0.03930	246	174	54	18
1605	Any unhealthy attachments?	1.3657	0.04153	216	152	49	15
1606	You say you’re feeling short of breath. Any other symptoms?	1.3656	0.04295	227	165	41	21
1607	I recommend staying off that motherfucking plane.	1.3656	0.04429	227	168	35	24
1608	How may I help you?	1.3655	0.04194	238	173	43	22
1609	Your blood pressure is high. Any pressing concerns?	1.3655	0.04021	238	169	51	18
1610	Congratulations! It’s a boa.	1.3655	0.03772	290	210	54	26
1611	I recommend switching to a feather boa. It might not make as strong a fashion statement, but it's easier on the heart and lungs.	1.3655	0.04059	249	180	47	22
1612	For starters, you are wound too tight.	1.3655	0.03896	249	176	55	18
1613	I'd like to run a few tests to rule out some of the more serious causes of shortness of breath.	1.3655	0.03938	249	177	53	19
1614	As soon as nurse Python has finished taking your blood pressure we'll check those hemorrhoids.	1.3655	0.03978	249	178	51	20
1615	I see you're already familiar with health insurers and the pharmaceutical industry.	1.3655	0.04099	249	181	45	23
1616	This is my first prescription for snake oil.	1.3655	0.03854	249	175	57	17
1617	Snake or no snake, bend over.	1.3655	0.03978	249	178	51	20
1618	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover snake coil.	1.3654	0.03859	260	185	55	20
1619	Other symptoms besides tightness in the chest?	1.3651	0.03853	241	168	58	15
1620	Sometimes you eat the thing, sometimes the thing eats you. . .very simple really.	1.3651	0.03781	252	176	60	16
1621	Have you been under a lot of pressure?	1.3651	0.04178	252	186	40	26
1622	I need you to try to swallow for me.	1.3651	0.03863	252	178	56	18
1623	For a herpetologist, you're WAY too wrapped-up in your work.	1.3651	0.03944	252	180	52	20
1624	It's better than the lap band. After the first week, you won't mind the calorie restriction at all.	1.3651	0.03904	252	179	54	19
1625	It says here you have tightness in the chest.	1.3650	0.03903	263	189	52	22
1626	You? You're fine. But I'd like to run some tests on the boa.	1.3650	0.03593	263	181	68	14
1627	Your toenail fungus seems to have cleared up. Is there anything else I can help you with?	1.3649	0.04166	211	148	49	14
1628	Blood pressure is high - but understandable.	1.3649	0.04173	222	158	47	17
1629	I'm impressed you managed to get your gown off.	1.3648	0.04125	233	167	47	19
1630	Like I told you Monty, you can't bring your human to the vet.	1.3648	0.04199	244	179	41	24
1631	Well right off the bat, I think we'll rule out bronchitis and pneumonia	1.3648	0.03993	244	174	51	19
1632	I'm going to back off on the vasoconstrictor medication.	1.3648	0.04118	244	177	45	22
1633	As your vet, I must advise against eating any more humans.	1.3648	0.04035	244	175	49	20
1634	Like I said, snake strangulations are only covered under the Double Platinum HMO plan, and you only have the Triple Gold PPO. But you can update your plan during your employer's open enrollment next January.	1.3647	0.04104	255	187	43	25
1635	And when did this numbness start?	1.3645	0.04333	214	154	42	18
1636	In a way I’m jealous because I could really use a hug.	1.3644	0.03814	236	163	60	13
1637	Unfortunately, your insurance only covers domestic serpents.	1.3644	0.04088	236	169	48	19
1638	Any travel abroad recently?	1.3644	0.04043	236	168	50	18
1639	If we don't take any action, I'm afraid that this coil may be mortal.	1.3644	0.04218	236	172	42	22
1640	I'm afraid the news will be hard to digest, Mr. Beckley. Well, for you anyway.	1.3644	0.03953	236	166	54	16
1641	So you're telling me you can't sleep because of a hissing noise?	1.3644	0.04000	247	177	50	20
1642	Believe it or not, the best thing for this is good old-fashioned snake oil. You'll slide out in no time.	1.3643	0.03956	258	186	50	22
1643	His blood pressure is perfect; yours, on the other hand....."	1.3643	0.03840	258	183	56	19
1644	So what's the problem, sir?	1.3643	0.03956	258	186	50	22
1645	So, is this your way of saying you're covered thru COBRA?	1.3643	0.03917	258	185	52	21
1646	No, tapeworms are slightly different.	1.3643	0.04142	258	191	40	27
1647	Now, do you smoke?	1.3640	0.04279	228	166	41	21
1648	Shortness of breath and constant hissing". 'Is this all that's been bothering you?	1.3640	0.03827	239	166	59	14
1649	Any new sources of stress in your life?	1.3640	0.03873	239	167	57	15
1650	Stop worrying. He's fine.	1.3640	0.04051	239	171	49	19
1651	I am writing you a prescription for Xanax and some feeder mice.	1.3640	0.04051	239	171	49	19
1652	You know, there are more effective treatments for constipation.	1.3640	0.04045	250	181	47	22
1653	Give her one mouse three times daily.	1.3640	0.03925	250	178	53	19
1654	This shortness of breath; is it new?	1.3640	0.03885	261	187	53	21
1655	I can prescribe you Snake Oil, but it is not covered by insurance.	1.3640	0.04177	261	195	37	29
1656	I think it must have been my penmanship on that last prescription. Let’s try again.	1.3640	0.04017	272	201	43	28
1657	So, does it really feel like a constriction, or is it more a sharp radiating pain?	1.3636	0.03739	264	186	60	18
1658	What does Eve say?	1.3636	0.03891	253	180	54	19
1659	Many of my patients prefer it to a suppository.	1.3636	0.03891	253	180	54	19
1660	You felt fine when you got on the plane. Then what?	1.3636	0.04149	231	166	46	19
1661	No, Mr. Carlson, tightness in the chest and shortness of breath are not always symptoms of a heart attack.	1.3636	0.04198	220	157	46	17
1662	Well it's not your appendix.	1.3636	0.04239	231	168	42	21
1663	I'm going to prescribe some snake oil, which should loosen it right up.	1.3636	0.04057	242	174	48	20
1664	You can't imagine how many cases like yours we see."	1.3633	0.03785	267	190	57	20
1665	He enjoys hugging all our patients.	1.3633	0.04021	245	176	49	20
1666	Any other symptoms besides shortness of breath?	1.3633	0.04144	245	179	43	23
1667	It's my fault ... on this prescription I'm writing out 'vaso-constrictor.'	1.3632	0.04285	234	172	39	23
1668	Please make sure he is fasting when you come in for the blood tests	1.3632	0.04199	234	170	43	21
1669	Next time, try not to tread on it.	1.3632	0.03881	234	163	57	14
1670	Well, it’s good we managed to squeeze you in today.	1.3632	0.04109	223	158	49	16
1671	So on a scale of one to ten...	1.3632	0.04158	223	159	47	17
1672	The good news is the tightness in your chest is not a heart attack.	1.3629	0.03827	259	184	56	19
1673	I suggest you feed him two mice and call me in the morning.	1.3629	0.04147	248	182	42	24
1674	And for your legs, I’ll prescribe pressure socks with garters.	1.3629	0.03945	248	177	52	19
1675	And then what happened?	1.3629	0.04027	248	179	48	21
1676	Tightness in the chest.... Could be anxiety, could be any number of things. We'll have to run some tests.	1.3629	0.04029	237	169	50	18
1677	Lots of things can cause chest pain.	1.3629	0.04073	237	170	48	19
1678	Uh-huh, tightness of the chest, difficulty breathing . . . anything else?	1.3629	0.03939	237	167	54	16
1679	Say this phrase twice daily for a week and it should turn back into a staff.	1.3629	0.04203	237	173	42	22
1680	So, how did you and my ex meet?	1.3629	0.04328	237	176	36	25
1681	You seem a little constricted.	1.3628	0.04166	226	162	46	18
1682	Now tell me again about the tightness in your chest?	1.3628	0.04022	226	159	52	15
1683	The reports came back from the lab and it turns out, there's a snake wrapped around you.	1.3625	0.04149	251	185	41	25
1684	You look tense, I'll give you a few minutes to unwind.	1.3625	0.03829	251	177	57	17
1685	You still have to bend over.	1.3625	0.03912	251	179	53	19
1686	What is the problem?	1.3625	0.04110	251	184	43	24
1687	It’s psychosomatic. You just need to unwind.	1.3625	0.03702	251	174	63	14
1688	And what are you here to see me about this morning?	1.3625	0.03993	240	171	51	18
1689	Just checking. When was the last time you fed him?	1.3625	0.04037	240	172	49	19
1690	Thanks for squeezing me in	1.3625	0.04037	240	172	49	19
1691	We were able to squeeze you in. Now what's the problem?	1.3624	0.04033	229	162	51	16
1692	First question Mr. Neeman. Have you recently been traveling abroad?	1.3624	0.04080	229	163	49	17
1693	Believe me, everybody in healthcare is feeling the squeeze nowadays.	1.3624	0.04080	229	163	49	17
1694	Your insurance said if we can get the parasite inside your body, they'll cover it.	1.3622	0.04036	254	185	46	23
1695	The good news is we can rule out ringworm.	1.3622	0.03919	254	182	52	20
1696	I'll need you to take everything off for your exam.	1.3622	0.03756	254	178	60	16
1697	Your stool sample confirms, it's coilitis.	1.3622	0.03997	254	184	48	22
1698	I'd suggest putting aside some time to unwind.	1.3622	0.03673	254	176	64	14
1699	At any time in the last four weeks have you felt depressed, anxious or hopeless?	1.3622	0.03958	254	183	50	21
1700	Take two aspirin and give him four mice a day.	1.3621	0.03958	243	173	52	18
1701	Well, your blood pressure seems fine.	1.3621	0.03958	243	173	52	18
1702	If you want a second opinion, the snake is also endangered.	1.3621	0.04167	243	178	42	23
1703	I think we can squeeze you in next Tuesday	1.3621	0.04043	243	175	48	20
1704	Shouldn't we really be talking about the elephant in the room?	1.3621	0.03902	232	162	56	14
1705	Heart palpitations are normal for a man with your condition	1.3621	0.04043	232	165	50	17
1706	Let me write this down: Tightness in chest, difficulty breathing, started on Tuesday after a trip to the Everglades. Anything else you can tell me before I (look up from my clipboard and actually) examine you?'	1.3621	0.03996	232	164	52	16
1707	Yes, your scarf too.	1.3621	0.04311	232	171	38	23
1708	Have you traveled out of the country in the past year?	1.3620	0.04032	221	155	52	14
1709	Have him take two rodents, every four hours, then call me in the morning.	1.3619	0.03847	268	193	53	22
1710	Let me see if I can squeeze you in next week.	1.3619	0.03685	257	179	63	15
1711	Nothing serious. Just try to unwind, and you’ll be fine.	1.3619	0.03685	257	179	63	15
1712	And you say it was there when you woke up this morning?	1.3618	0.03795	246	172	59	15
1713	Seems like you’ve picked something up from your recent trip to Australia.	1.3618	0.03966	246	176	51	19
1714	The good news is that you should be able to digest the human over the next few days	1.3617	0.04096	235	169	47	19
1715	Have you been picking at it?	1.3617	0.04096	235	169	47	19
1716	Okay, so none of your friends thought you could manage a pet store. Then what?	1.3617	0.03820	235	163	59	13
1717	As we told your wife, we can save one of you. She has the glass tank in the car.	1.3616	0.04285	224	163	41	20
1718	I said erectile not reptile!	1.3615	0.03968	260	189	48	23
1719	I understand your frustration, but there's no need to hiss.	1.3615	0.03854	260	186	54	20
1720	I think it still counts as a preexisting condition.	1.3614	0.04054	249	181	46	22
1721	Are you having difficulty swallowing?	1.3613	0.04015	238	170	50	18
1722	Any symptoms other than the tightness in your chest?	1.3613	0.04102	238	172	46	20
1723	But the good news is...keep him properly fed, and you’re in no immediate danger	1.3613	0.03741	238	164	62	12
1724	We are done. Get dressed and get your asp out of here.	1.3612	0.04103	227	162	48	17
1725	You're backsliding - you've gained weight, your heart rate is elevated, and your breathing is shallow.	1.3612	0.04056	227	161	50	16
1726	Try a feather boa next time.	1.3612	0.04103	227	162	48	17
1727	Well, shortness of breath is a side-effect of your current medication	1.3612	0.04511	227	171	30	26
1728	I’m not a therapist, but I’d say this relationship is suffocating you.	1.3612	0.03860	263	189	53	21
1729	The good news? It’ll eliminate that frog in your throat.	1.3612	0.03707	263	185	61	17
1730	As for your pet mouse, I don't think we'll be able to save her.	1.3611	0.03817	252	178	57	17
1731	I'm referring you to a psychoherpetologist. He might be able to help you unwind.	1.3611	0.04198	216	154	46	16
1732	Perhaps you can prescribe me a different vasoconstrictor?	1.3610	0.04191	241	177	41	23
1733	Fortunately, your driver's license indicates that you're a donor.	1.3610	0.04108	241	175	45	21
1734	Have your traveled outside the continental United States in the last twenty one days?	1.3609	0.03829	266	191	54	21
1735	Our blood pressure machine is out of order.	1.3609	0.03903	266	193	50	23
1736	Just saw your cat scan. Is your house pet missing?	1.3609	0.04158	230	166	45	19
1737	Some respiratory constriction, a perfectly normal response.	1.3609	0.03874	230	160	57	13
1738	And how long have you had this man stuck in you Mr... Boa is it?	1.3608	0.04061	255	187	44	24
1739	Says here you’re having tightness in you’re chest?	1.3608	0.03945	255	184	50	21
1740	You know, as your proctologist I will have to look at your asp.	1.3608	0.03866	255	182	54	19
1741	Other than tightness in your chest is there anything else to report.	1.3607	0.04106	219	155	49	15
1742	Well, I most certainly can explain the crushing chest pain.	1.3607	0.03945	244	174	52	18
1743	You have Monty Python syndrome.	1.3607	0.04112	244	178	44	22
1744	I see your ex got custody of the apple.	1.3607	0.03902	244	173	54	17
1745	...and avoid eating apples.	1.3607	0.03945	244	174	52	18
1746	much less invasive than stapling	1.3606	0.03611	269	188	65	16
1747	Well, you shouldn't have eaten her eggs.	1.3605	0.04164	233	169	44	20
1748	The pressure you feel in your chest is apparently not related to your heart.	1.3605	0.04028	233	166	50	17
1749	So you have a few questions about your COBRA?	1.3605	0.03988	258	188	47	23
1750	I'd suggest a lubricant. Snake oil should do the trick.	1.3605	0.03912	258	186	51	21
1751	I really won't know until I get the lab results back.	1.3605	0.04100	258	191	41	26
1752	Still single?	1.3604	0.04068	222	157	50	15
1753	Ok, can you breathe in for me?	1.3604	0.03914	222	154	56	12
1754	Ok, I'll give you credit for creativity. But this is the last time I'll refill your painkillers.	1.3603	0.04116	247	181	43	23
1755	Any other symptoms besides tightening of the chest?	1.3603	0.03994	247	178	49	20
1756	So you say you started feeling badly at the zoo.	1.3603	0.03782	247	173	59	15
1757	Yes, I can see that, but I would still like to rule out an allergic reaction.	1.3602	0.04212	236	173	41	22
1758	Good news is that he’ll be squeezing you less than your HMO and the drug companies	1.3602	0.04037	236	169	49	18
1759	Could you be more specific?	1.3602	0.04169	236	172	43	21
1760	Says here you have trouble breathing, is that correct?	1.3602	0.03842	261	187	54	20
1761	Yeah... it’s like worms... just much, much worse!	1.3600	0.03810	275	199	53	23
1762	Alright, I'm going to check your blood pressure. You may feel a gentle squeezing sensation on your arm.	1.3600	0.03878	250	178	54	18
1763	No, actually my chart says vapor rub.	1.3600	0.03919	250	179	52	19
1764	I’m going to refer you to a sssspecialist.	1.3600	0.04119	250	184	42	24
1765	Any history of python strangulation in your family?	1.3600	0.04040	250	182	46	22
1766	I also recommend you stay away from apples and sin.	1.3600	0.04000	250	181	48	21
1767	Are you sexually active?	1.3600	0.04080	250	183	44	23
1768	I'm sorry. Your insurance considers this a pre-existing condition.	1.3598	0.03922	264	192	49	23
1769	I can resubmit, but this is apparently all your plan covers for constipation....	1.3598	0.04031	264	195	43	26
1770	The compression socks just didn't seem to be working.	1.3598	0.03734	264	187	59	18
1771	It appears your main squeeze has some serious attachment issues.	1.3598	0.04045	239	172	48	19
1772	I'll just renew your Emotional Support Animal prescription while you're here.	1.3598	0.04376	214	156	39	19
1773	Side effects may include shortness of breath	1.3597	0.03845	253	180	55	18
1774	So I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for his separation anxiety....	1.3596	0.04407	228	170	34	24
1775	I'll run some tests, but it looks like you have a constriction.	1.3596	0.03817	267	192	54	21
1776	Your insurance company says it’s a pre-existing condition.....	1.3594	0.04182	217	155	46	16
1777	The good news is that the squeezing sensation in your chest is not a heart attack.	1.3594	0.03932	256	185	50	21
1778	No way I can certify it as a support pet!	1.3594	0.03971	256	186	48	22
1779	So you say she’s having trouble swallowing?	1.3594	0.03932	256	185	50	21
1780	So what is your support boa’s name?	1.3593	0.04051	231	165	49	17
1781	I suggest you take anti-HISS-tamines.	1.3593	0.03909	231	162	55	14
1782	Feed it two white mice and call me in the morning.	1.3593	0.04277	231	170	39	22
1783	Before he squeezes the life out of you, please finish filling out your insurance information.	1.3593	0.04143	231	167	45	19
1784	I told you, everything off except your underwear	1.3592	0.03802	245	172	58	15
1785	I’m not a vet but I think he just might be hungry	1.3592	0.03757	245	171	60	14
1786	I'm prescribing a little snake oil.	1.3591	0.04141	220	157	47	16
1787	Of course, there are two viewpoints to consider here.	1.3591	0.03703	259	182	61	16
1788	This is the worst case of ring worm I've ever seen.	1.3591	0.04050	259	191	43	25
1789	I’m going to refer both of us to a psychiatrist.	1.3591	0.03938	259	188	49	22
1790	And when did you first start experiencing shortness of breath?	1.3591	0.03861	259	186	53	20
1791	Anything else concerning you?	1.3591	0.03899	259	187	51	21
1792	Well, if you can't take a deep breath and exhale for me, maybe the best thing is just to reschedule.	1.3590	0.04014	234	167	50	17
1793	145/90 .....try to unwind more often, Bob	1.3589	0.04062	248	181	45	22
1794	Nice boa. First attempt at cross dressing?	1.3589	0.03981	248	179	49	20
1795	It appears your snake is suffering from acute separation anxiety.	1.3589	0.03898	248	177	53	18
1796	Eve sent you, right?	1.3589	0.04398	209	152	39	18
1797	'C'mon Mr. Franklin. Clothes off means everything.'	1.3588	0.03752	262	186	58	18
1798	Well, your blood pressure is a little high...	1.3588	0.03713	262	185	60	17
1799	Give her two rabbits and call me in the morning.	1.3588	0.03829	262	188	54	20
1800	Don't you remember what happened last time you listened to Dr. Oz?	1.3588	0.03673	262	184	62	16
1801	It says here on your chart that you’re his main squeeze.	1.3587	0.04247	223	162	42	19
1802	I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this is a preexisting condition so you are not covered.	1.3587	0.04151	223	160	46	17
1803	So let's see...a tightness in your chest, shortness of breath, high blood pressure. Any trouble sleeping?	1.3587	0.04151	223	160	46	17
1804	Give him these muscle relaxants and stop calling him 'Monty'	1.3587	0.04199	223	161	44	18
1805	I'm prescribing a de-constrictor.	1.3586	0.03887	237	167	55	15
1806	I’m going to write you a referral to my vet as well.	1.3586	0.03865	251	179	54	18
1807	Strangely your blood pressure has risen since you got your emotional support pet.	1.3586	0.03823	251	178	56	17
1808	According to clinical trials, the treatment is mutually beneficial. The snake keeps you from smoking, and you keep the snake from suffocating other people.	1.3586	0.03987	251	182	48	21
1809	I think we can rule out asthma.	1.3586	0.03739	251	176	60	15
1810	Let's wait and see what happens when he sheds.	1.3585	0.03566	265	184	67	14
1811	I'm still not sure how this happened but, we're going to get that human out right away	1.3585	0.04353	212	154	40	18
1812	You said 'parasite' on the phone so we were kind of thinking internal.	1.3585	0.03873	265	192	51	22
1813	Nice try Irwin. Now please drop your shorts and bend over.	1.3584	0.04253	226	165	41	20
1814	The reason for your visit today indicates chest pains and difficulty breathing. Could you be more specific?	1.3584	0.04064	226	161	49	16
1815	So...you realized you were naked right after eating the apple?	1.3584	0.03865	226	157	57	12
1816	GIVE THE SNAKE A SHOT OF WHISKEY TO UNWIND	1.3583	0.04074	240	174	46	20
1817	how long have you been her favorite squeeze?	1.3583	0.04116	240	175	44	21
1818	This is the one time that snake oil actually does work.	1.3583	0.03833	254	181	55	18
1819	Yeah, well, you're not the only one getting squeezed by the new Medicare plans.	1.3583	0.03992	254	185	47	22
1820	I guess you're not as charming as you thought you were.	1.3583	0.04031	254	186	45	23
1821	If you think you're choking now, wait till you see my bill.	1.3583	0.03913	254	183	51	20
1822	Feed him two rodents and call me in the morning.	1.3583	0.03792	254	180	57	17
1823	You still need to sign this consent.	1.3583	0.03792	254	180	57	17
1824	Looks like he found you way too charming.	1.3580	0.04079	243	177	45	21
1825	It's not covered since it's a pre-constricting condition.	1.3580	0.04079	243	177	45	21
1826	How are you otherwise? Stool normal?	1.3580	0.04121	243	178	43	22
1827	Well, it's actually helping your scoliosis.	1.3580	0.03679	257	180	62	15
1828	This is the noninvasive lap band alternative we discussed....	1.3580	0.03958	257	187	48	22
1829	Couples therapy is on the second floor.	1.3580	0.03880	257	185	52	20
1830	Take two mongooses and call me in the morning	1.3580	0.03841	257	184	54	19
1831	You marked "Constricted Airway" on your intake form. Have you been experiencing any other symptoms?	1.3580	0.03919	257	186	50	21
1832	The symptoms began after you ate the apple, is that right?	1.3579	0.03810	285	209	50	26
1833	Question eight. Any family history of reptile constriction?	1.3578	0.04115	218	155	48	15
1834	Your insurance company does cover resuscitation, so I'll return in about half an hour.	1.3578	0.04216	218	157	44	17
1835	So...I see from your chart that you’re due for a flu shot.	1.3578	0.04082	232	167	47	18
1836	I'll make an exception and prescribe snake oil.	1.3578	0.03943	232	164	53	15
1837	This compression device should reduce the swelling.	1.3578	0.03943	232	164	53	15
1838	So how long would you say he has had abandonment issues?	1.3577	0.04084	246	180	44	22
1839	Be sure to give this muscle relaxer to your pet.	1.3577	0.04002	246	178	48	20
1840	Yes, I think it is very clever that you named him Monty.	1.3575	0.04224	221	160	43	18
1841	So...how was your trip to Brazil?	1.3574	0.04134	235	171	44	20
1842	Try not to breathe.	1.3574	0.04178	235	172	42	21
1843	Perhaps you should consider a different comfort pet.	1.3574	0.03908	235	166	54	15
1844	We've got a couple of options here, but not necessarily a lot of time.	1.3574	0.03714	249	174	61	14
1845	Is it more of a sharp or squeezing pain?	1.3574	0.03926	249	179	51	19
1846	I'd find a nice pair of beige pumps and go with it.	1.3574	0.04003	263	194	44	25
1847	They've a good python man at Special Surgery, but the earliest I can get you in is next week.	1.3571	0.03919	238	169	53	16
1848	Besides the tightness in your chest, any fever or loss of appetite?	1.3571	0.03852	252	180	54	18
1849	Other than difficulty breathing, any symptoms?	1.3571	0.04053	238	172	47	19
1850	So when did you first feel the tightening in your chest?	1.3571	0.03964	238	170	51	17
1851	So, when did you first start feeling a tightness around your chest, Mr Green?	1.3571	0.04009	238	171	49	18
1852	Yes, you are the last patient in my 36-hour shift...what seems to be the problem?	1.3571	0.04633	210	158	29	23
1853	Well, your feet look fine....	1.3571	0.03641	252	175	64	13
1854	Spanx are easier.	1.3571	0.04184	224	162	44	18
1855	Have you traveled to any foreign countries in the past six months?	1.3571	0.04135	224	161	46	17
1856	Now let me get this straight. You lost your job and you want to pay with your Cobra?	1.3571	0.04184	224	162	44	18
1857	\unfortunately, all the tests indicate that he’s hungry.	1.3571	0.03654	280	200	60	20
1858	...and are you sexually active?	1.3569	0.03820	255	182	55	18
1859	Difficulty breathing can have any number of causes.	1.3569	0.03780	255	181	57	17
1860	I think some snake oil might help.	1.3568	0.03841	241	170	56	15
1861	You seem all wound up.	1.3568	0.03973	241	173	50	18
1862	And after the apple what happened....	1.3568	0.03973	241	173	50	18
1863	Any tightness in the chest? difficulty breathing...?	1.3566	0.03764	272	196	55	21
1864	I have good news. The tightness in your chest is not a cardiac problem.	1.3566	0.03749	258	183	58	17
1865	Charming.	1.3566	0.03907	258	187	50	21
1866	This should keep the swelling down for now.	1.3566	0.03939	244	175	51	18
1867	Your blood vessels are somewhat constricted, but it's good that you do have COBRA insurance. You're covered!	1.3566	0.04228	244	182	37	25
1868	have you traveled out of the country recently?	1.3565	0.04151	230	167	44	19
1869	My notes say you have been having trouble breathing. When did this start?	1.3565	0.03916	230	162	54	14
1870	So you're calling this more of a constriction than a pain?	1.3563	0.03874	261	189	51	21
1871	Yeh, but first why don't you tell me how you unlaced your shoes and unbuttoned your shirt.	1.3563	0.03836	261	188	53	20
1872	I said restrict your diet not constrict	1.3562	0.04068	233	168	47	18
1873	Have you visited any tropical locations recently?	1.3562	0.04068	233	168	47	18
1874	Well, you don’t have malaria.	1.3562	0.04246	233	172	39	22
1875	No, cross dressing is not generally bad for your health, but that kind of boa could be fatal.	1.3562	0.04068	233	168	47	18
1876	You say your wife's name is Eve?	1.3561	0.03843	264	191	52	21
1877	Patients hated the old colonoscopy prep, so let's give this a try.	1.3560	0.03830	250	178	55	17
1878	...and have you experienced any chest pain or shortness of breath?	1.3560	0.04074	250	184	43	23
1879	Great news, your lab reports show you're in excellent health.	1.3560	0.03994	250	182	47	21
1880	Your insurance company says your chest tightness and shortness of breath are preexisting conditions.	1.3559	0.03940	236	168	52	16
1881	I do admit...It's an old method of curing constipation!	1.3559	0.04160	222	160	45	17
1882	I'm sorry but your HMO lists having a snake as a pre-existing condition.	1.3559	0.04256	222	162	41	19
1883	Didn't your previous vet tell you not to attempt to eat another full size human sooner than 6 months after the last one?	1.3558	0.03992	267	198	43	26
1884	In my expert opinion, you're under too much pressure.	1.3557	0.03839	253	181	54	18
1885	I'm sorry. You're not completely covered.	1.3557	0.03839	253	181	54	18
1886	Sorry. The pharmacy keeps misreading my prescriptions.	1.3557	0.03798	253	180	56	17
1887	These pills should help him unwind but call me in the morning if you still feel constricted.	1.3556	0.03995	239	172	49	18
1888	Well, I did say getting a pet would lower your heart rate.	1.3556	0.03768	239	167	59	13
1889	Your diagnosis is coilitis.	1.3556	0.03906	239	170	53	16
1890	I can confirm that the tightness in your chest is not viral.	1.3556	0.04168	225	163	44	18
1891	So, Darryl, some good news, it is not poisonous.	1.3556	0.04215	225	164	42	19
1892	No, I think we can rule out a tape worm.	1.3556	0.04262	225	165	40	20
1893	You seem pretty tightly wound!	1.3555	0.03808	256	183	55	18
1894	Most burlesque dancers use a feather boa	1.3554	0.04045	242	176	46	20
1895	Looks like we can rule out asthma.	1.3554	0.03960	242	174	50	18
1896	Any tightness in your chest? Shortness of breath?	1.3553	0.04129	228	165	45	18
1897	I suggest a muscle relaxant . . . for the snake.	1.3552	0.03816	259	186	54	19
1898	You're going to have to speak up.	1.3552	0.03970	259	190	46	23
1899	According to Amazon, when you ordered, you neglected to check the box labeled 'feather.'	1.3551	0.03968	245	177	49	19
1900	No, it’s not a tapeworm. But it’s nothing that a box full of guinea pigs won’t help.	1.3551	0.03925	245	176	51	18
1901	And how much do you weigh without the snake?	1.3551	0.04092	245	180	43	22
1902	Well, the good news, it's not COPD.	1.3551	0.03615	276	196	62	18
1903	What is your chief complaint today?	1.3548	0.03892	248	178	52	18
1904	Your blood test came back fine	1.3548	0.03676	248	173	62	13
1905	Your labs came back fine.	1.3548	0.04071	217	154	49	14
1906	Well, it’s been a year and he hasn’t eaten you yet.	1.3547	0.03639	265	187	62	16
1907	Alternative therapies can sometimes come back to bite you.	1.3547	0.04098	234	170	45	19
1908	It may be a nice pick up line, but 'I've got a python in my pants' is intended to be pure metaphor."	1.3547	0.04053	234	169	47	18
1909	Take two aspirin and a very cold shower. Then Run.	1.3547	0.04098	234	170	45	19
1910	Your blood pressure is on the high side. Do you smoke?	1.3547	0.04098	234	170	45	19
1911	The tightness in your chest is just a minor panic attack... Perhaps due to the python.	1.3546	0.03941	251	182	49	20
1912	It gives more accurate blood pressure reading.	1.3546	0.03859	251	180	53	18
1913	Crestor for cholesterol and a flute for the snake as needed.	1.3546	0.03733	251	177	59	15
1914	You say his name is Monty.	1.3545	0.04134	220	158	46	16
1915	I am prescribing a muscle relaxant for the snake which has worked well in clinical trials.	1.3544	0.03881	237	168	54	15
1916	This prescription should help with the hissing.	1.3544	0.03881	237	168	54	15
1917	Oddly enough, I prescribe snake oil in cases like yours.	1.3544	0.04218	206	147	45	14
1918	First the good news, we have excluded cancer.	1.3543	0.03907	254	184	50	20
1919	And you say you're feeling contractions	1.3543	0.03827	254	182	54	18
1920	And would you say its more of a burning, or a squeezing pain?	1.3543	0.03867	254	183	52	19
1921	Do you have any shortness of breath or pressure in your chest?	1.3543	0.03745	254	180	58	16
1922	I told you which fruits were forbidden, Adam.	1.3543	0.04288	223	164	39	20
1923	So what Garden was that?	1.3543	0.03995	223	158	51	14
1924	"On a scale of 1-10 would you say you feel more constricted than last visit?"	1.3543	0.03944	223	157	53	13
1925	The good news is that your cancer is in remission.	1.3542	0.03806	271	197	52	22
1926	I’m afraid it’s considered a pre-existing condition, Adam.	1.3542	0.03981	240	173	49	18
1927	OK... Don’t take a deep breath.	1.3542	0.03892	240	171	53	16
1928	So, some good news: you don’t have the flu.	1.3542	0.03981	240	173	49	18
1929	You seem to be wound awfully tight.	1.3542	0.04152	240	177	41	22
1930	So, tell me what's happened to Eve.	1.3541	0.03991	257	189	45	23
1931	I can remove it but it's not covered under your insurance	1.3541	0.03755	257	183	57	17
1932	Well now, tightness in your chest could be due to any number of causes! No need to jump to conclusions.	1.3540	0.04105	226	163	46	17
1933	I’m writing you a prescription for an emotional support mongoose.	1.3539	0.03989	243	176	48	19
1934	Have you traveled out of the country in the past 3 months?	1.3539	0.03859	243	173	54	16
1935	Difficulty breathing. Any other symptoms?	1.3538	0.03685	260	184	60	16
1936	How was your vacation to the Everglades?	1.3537	0.03874	229	161	55	13
1937	Just so you know, our veterinarian specialist is out of network.	1.3537	0.03996	246	179	47	20
1938	Hi, so I’d first like to get to know you a bit, then we can talk about why you’re here today.	1.3537	0.04159	246	183	39	24
1939	I can give you something, but he looks fine to me.	1.3535	0.03987	215	151	52	12
1940	Well, I'm a little concerned about your blood pressure.	1.3535	0.04302	215	157	40	18
1941	Oh? Mambacare?	1.3534	0.04255	232	172	38	22
1942	Tightness in your chest, labored breathing, elevated heart rate......do you use a lot of salt Mr. McCready?	1.3534	0.04030	232	167	48	17
1943	I'm referring you to a herpetologist. I'm not sure what kind of snake that is.	1.3534	0.03837	249	178	54	17
1944	Amazon delivery?	1.3534	0.04082	249	184	42	23
1945	With this medication, you should no longer need that emotional support pet.	1.3534	0.03781	266	192	54	20
1946	Return the mouse and no one gets hurt.	1.3532	0.03947	235	168	51	16
1947	Sorry, you need to make a separate appointment for any new issues. Now tell me more about your cough.	1.3532	0.04038	235	170	47	18
1948	The good news is it's not the poisonous kind.	1.3532	0.03611	235	161	65	9
1949	Take this asp. Print the prescription. Go home and unwind.	1.3532	0.03887	252	182	51	19
1950	No, I do understand, but an emotional support snake is not on the approved list	1.3532	0.03968	252	184	47	21
1951	Well, I see the snake isn’t working.	1.3529	0.03722	272	196	56	20
1952	You better see a pythologist about this."	1.3529	0.03733	255	181	58	16
1953	We don’t see this side effect very often.	1.3529	0.03685	272	195	58	19
1954	I'm writing you a prescription for mice.	1.3529	0.04002	238	172	48	18
1955	Next time just be a bit more careful ordering Monty Python on Amazon.	1.3529	0.03855	255	184	52	19
1956	Well, I think I can explain the tightness in your chest that you're feeling...	1.3529	0.03913	238	170	52	16
1957	I'm prescribing you change from Cobra to Aetna for better coverage.	1.3527	0.04053	258	192	41	25
1958	Well, I think your lifestyle choices are contributing to that tightness you feel in your chest.	1.3527	0.03923	241	173	51	17
1959	I'm going to refer you to a specialist. How long can you hold your breath?	1.3527	0.04010	241	175	47	19
1960	Well, that explains your weight gain."	1.3527	0.04053	241	176	45	20
1961	Before I prescribe this, have you taken rikitikitavidan before?	1.3527	0.04179	241	179	39	23
1962	Sheila is my comfort pet. But lately she has become a bit possessive.	1.3527	0.04419	207	152	37	18
1963	So sorry for the delay. What seems to be the problem?	1.3525	0.03846	244	174	54	16
1964	I’m sorry Mr. Perkins, we don’t accept Mutual of Omaha.	1.3524	0.04230	227	167	40	20
1965	Okay. You can go right ahead and put your shirt back on.	1.3524	0.04425	210	155	36	19
1966	How are you feeling otherwise?	1.3523	0.03800	264	191	53	20
1967	Well, Harry, you did say you wanted an all-natural treatment for constipation”	1.3523	0.03912	264	194	47	23
1968	So what’s wrong with Gladys besides being a bit clingy today?	1.3522	0.03856	247	177	53	17
1969	You were cutting the grass, and then what happened?	1.3522	0.03957	230	164	51	15
1970	Shortness of breath. Anything else?	1.3522	0.03957	230	164	51	15
1971	Unfortunately, I’m not much of a charmer.	1.3522	0.03909	230	163	53	14
1972	Would you say it's more of a sharp pain or a dull ache?	1.3521	0.03541	284	202	64	18
1973	Sir, it is not customary for the pet's owner to disrobe.	1.3520	0.03988	250	183	46	21
1974	So, Mr. Naga, what brings you in today?	1.3520	0.03739	250	177	58	15
1975	The good news is that your blood pressure's back down where we want it	1.3520	0.03866	250	180	52	18
1976	So Mr. Smith, Point to where it hurts.	1.3519	0.03969	233	167	50	16
1977	Have you had any other symptoms?	1.3519	0.04195	233	172	40	21
1978	This do-it-yourself gastric band seems to be working for you. You've lost another 50 pounds.	1.3519	0.03969	233	167	50	16
1979	Worst case of coilitas I've seen	1.3519	0.04015	233	168	48	17
1980	How long have you had trouble breathing?	1.3518	0.03914	253	184	49	20
1981	There's a lot of it going around.	1.3518	0.03994	253	186	45	22
1982	So, how long have you been hearing this hissing sound?	1.3518	0.03833	253	182	53	18
1983	Our tests indicate that you may have picked up a parasite in the Amazon.	1.3518	0.03954	253	185	47	21
1984	And have you visited any tropical regions lately?	1.3518	0.03874	253	183	51	19
1985	I prescribed snake OIL, not snake COIL	1.3517	0.04285	236	177	35	24
1986	Don't worry, Bert is a professional at squeezing the kidney stones right out of you.	1.3517	0.04024	236	171	47	18
1987	The good news is that your chest pain isn’t casused by a heart attack.	1.3516	0.03772	219	151	59	9
1988	I think we know what’s causing your chest tightness. I’d just like to run a few tests.”	1.3516	0.03998	256	189	44	23
1989	It certainly accounts for your high blood pressure.	1.3516	0.03802	256	184	54	18
1990	Do you feel any tightness in your chest?	1.3515	0.03988	239	173	48	18
1991	Shortness of breath, tightness in the chest--I'm thinking heart attack.	1.3515	0.04075	239	175	44	20
1992	I know this is your first”Drag Queen” event, but that’s the wrong Boa!	1.3515	0.04075	239	175	44	20
1993	How long have you been hearing a rattle in your chest."	1.3514	0.03718	276	200	55	21
1994	'Good news. Tests show that you don't have a tapeworm.'	1.3514	0.03691	259	184	59	16
1995	And aside from some tightness in the chest?	1.3514	0.04002	222	158	50	14
1996	Would you say she's your main squeeze?	1.3514	0.03691	259	184	59	16
1997	So for how long has this man been bothering you?	1.3512	0.03996	242	176	47	19
1998	The good news is that you should feel some constriction for a few more minutes, but then you won't feel anything.	1.3512	0.04123	242	179	41	22
1999	We ran out of leeches.	1.3512	0.03996	242	176	47	19
2000	Do you have any other symptoms besides the tightness in your chest?	1.3512	0.03910	242	174	51	17
2001	There’s a lot of that going around.	1.3511	0.04161	225	164	43	18
2002	Shortness of breath??? Are you a smoker?	1.3509	0.03788	265	192	53	20
2003	It's quite slow moving, so come back in a month and we'll see how its progressed.	1.3509	0.03979	228	163	50	15
2004	Next time, get a dog.	1.3509	0.03979	228	163	50	15
2005	You feel a certain tightness in your chest, you say ...	1.3508	0.04010	248	182	45	21
2006	Since you're not feeling any pain, let's just wait and see if it goes away.	1.3506	0.04037	231	167	47	17
2007	Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm literally prescribing snake oil.	1.3506	0.04084	231	168	45	18
2008	Let's start with the good news. We tested for pancreatitis, and it came back negative.	1.3506	0.04037	231	167	47	17
2009	You're screwed.	1.3506	0.04175	231	170	41	20
2010	So how much Viagra did you take?	1.3506	0.04437	231	176	29	26
2011	I'm sorry but, your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions.	1.3506	0.04015	251	185	44	22
2012	Well you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.	1.3506	0.03727	251	178	58	15
2013	Constriction of the chest? Could be a number of things.	1.3506	0.03872	271	200	47	24
2014	I'm sorry to have to tell you, but this is indeed a "mortal coil".	1.3505	0.04260	214	156	41	17
2015	When did you start feeling short of breath?	1.3504	0.04046	234	170	46	18
2016	I have a hunch that a boa constrictor is the cause of your discomfort, but we'll have to run some expensive tests to be sure.	1.3504	0.03738	254	181	57	16
2017	I see you've met Caduceus, our new comfort animal. Do me a favor and don't exhale until I get an orderly in here	1.3504	0.03738	254	181	57	16
2018	Well, the good news is this time it's not an albatross around your neck	1.3504	0.03861	254	184	51	19
2019	There’s something going around.	1.3504	0.03861	254	184	51	19
2020	It says here you're complaining of shortness of breath?	1.3502	0.04141	237	175	41	21
2021	Has it lasted for more than four hours?	1.3502	0.03869	257	187	50	20
2022	On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level right now?	1.3502	0.03829	257	186	52	19
2023	Good news-only one of you has a swallowing problem.	1.3502	0.03749	257	184	56	17
2024	Well, you consented to the use of unorthodox methods, and according to my clinical experience, this is guaranteed to help you quit smoking cigarettes...	1.3500	0.03840	240	171	54	15
2025	I wasn’t sure we could squeeze you in today but, well, you just seemed so wound up when you called...	1.3500	0.04018	240	175	46	19
2026	I'm going to put you on a constricted diet.	1.3500	0.03702	240	168	60	12
2027	Please just use the patient gown, Mr. Reynolds.	1.3498	0.03882	263	193	48	22
2028	Something's going around.	1.3498	0.03852	243	174	53	16
2029	Well, I think I know what's caused that tight feeling in your chest."	1.3498	0.03717	243	171	59	13
2030	Tell him to take two pills and not to coil you in the morning.	1.3498	0.04191	243	182	37	24
2031	You should have gone with the feather one.	1.3498	0.04067	243	179	43	21
2032	It’s been going around...and around....and..around.	1.3498	0.03896	243	175	51	17
2033	Tightness in your chest, can be a symptom of a more serious condition.	1.3496	0.03700	266	191	57	18
2034	This would be easier if you weren’t a member of PETA.	1.3496	0.03850	266	195	49	22
2035	It’s recommended that you remove the snake. That should make you feel better.	1.3496	0.03813	266	194	51	21
2036	I can see you've been under a lot of pressure, lately	1.3496	0.03738	266	192	55	19
2037	The good news is: it's not herpes. But I do recommend you go see a herpetologist.	1.3496	0.04153	246	184	38	24
2038	Relax. It's probably just something that ate you.	1.3496	0.03906	246	178	50	18
2039	So, can you describe your chest pains?	1.3496	0.03820	246	176	54	16
2040	Do you have any tightness in your chest?	1.3496	0.04145	226	165	43	18
2041	Says here you were running naked through the jungle, is that correct?	1.3496	0.04049	226	163	47	16
2042	Don't search online. It's almost never cancer.	1.3494	0.03746	269	195	54	20
2043	So you say you're feeling a little pressure?	1.3494	0.03955	249	182	47	20
2044	It says here that you've been complaining about some tightness in your chest, correct?	1.3494	0.03914	249	181	49	19
2045	We'll be more certain once the test results come in.	1.3494	0.04116	249	186	39	24
2046	Bad case of reptile malfunction.	1.3493	0.04153	229	168	42	19
2047	It may feel uncomfortable at first, but we're committed to this new natural way of taking blood pressure.	1.3493	0.04153	229	168	42	19
2048	So how long have you had this shortness of breath?	1.3493	0.04244	229	170	38	21
2049	It looks like we'll have to delay your colonoscopy.	1.3493	0.04244	229	170	38	21
2050	I strongly suggest you take precautions during mating season	1.3492	0.04041	252	187	42	23
2051	I recommend that you switch to a feather boa.	1.3492	0.03757	252	180	56	16
2052	Yeah, it's been going around a lot of people lately.	1.3492	0.03921	252	184	48	20
2053	It says here you are in a phobia treatment program.	1.3491	0.04023	232	168	47	17
2054	And then I want you to put on the gown so that it's open in the back.	1.3491	0.04114	232	170	43	19
2055	Ok, good news first. I think we know what is causing your sleep apnea.	1.3490	0.03726	255	182	57	16
2056	If you could just slip out of that I'll take a look.	1.3490	0.03513	255	177	67	11
2057	Take the diazepam tonight and the mongoose in the morning.	1.3489	0.03894	235	168	52	15
2058	This is the one case where snake oil will help	1.3489	0.03941	235	169	50	16
2059	And what’s the last thing you remember after you took the Ambien?	1.3489	0.04077	235	172	44	19
2060	I'm prescribing a mild sedative for your pet python's separation anxiety.	1.3488	0.03856	258	188	50	20
2061	I see here that you have a complaint of tightness in your chest?	1.3487	0.03860	238	170	53	15
2062	Any known allergy to mongooses, Mr. Williams?	1.3487	0.03996	238	173	47	18
2063	Any difficulty breathing?	1.3487	0.04083	238	175	43	20
2064	Sorry, your insurance only covers snake bites	1.3487	0.04254	238	179	35	24
2065	Well Mr Tiles I can do your procedure your still covered under Cobra	1.3487	0.03747	261	188	55	18
2066	Fortunately, your test results show that it is a python, not an anaconda.	1.3487	0.03786	261	189	53	19
2067	Constricted breath, difficulty exercising, sudden hissing. My diagnosis is asthma.	1.3487	0.03901	261	192	47	22
2068	pressure getting to you?	1.3487	0.03707	261	187	57	17
2069	Thanks for squeezing me in Doc.	1.3486	0.04350	218	162	36	20
2070	Yes, an inability to touch one's toes is of some concern, but I don't think you're seeing the entire picture, Mr. Smith.	1.3485	0.04004	241	176	46	19
2071	Well, yes, I did say to wear a compression garment after your liposuction......	1.3485	0.03872	241	173	52	16
2072	So everything's fine aside from that?	1.3485	0.03827	241	172	54	15
2073	I think it's time to consider a less restrictive weight loss program.	1.3484	0.03839	244	175	53	16
2074	Good thing it already ate.	1.3484	0.03926	244	177	49	18
2075	I'm thinking this concludes our little experiment with homeopathy.	1.3484	0.03969	244	178	47	19
2076	Other than the strep throat was there any other problem you wanted to discuss?	1.3483	0.03838	267	196	49	22
2077	Think of it as a comfort animal.	1.3482	0.03819	224	157	56	11
2078	I'm sorry Mr. Jones, your insurance wouldn't cover the back brace, so this was the best that we could do.	1.3480	0.04292	204	148	41	15
2079	When did you start feeling this tightness in your chest?	1.3480	0.04035	227	164	47	16
2080	And what brings you in here today, Mr. Smith?	1.3480	0.04035	227	164	47	16
2081	You say it came on right after you bit from the apple?	1.3480	0.03901	250	182	49	19
2082	I’m referring you to a great couples therapist I know.	1.3480	0.03942	250	183	47	20
2083	Do you want me to pull it off fast or slow?	1.3480	0.03632	273	196	59	18
2084	The generic snake oil works just as well.	1.3478	0.04183	230	170	40	20
2085	Symptoms include shortness of breath, overall joint pain and paranoia. Anything else?	1.3478	0.03908	253	185	48	20
2086	I recommend you take a couple days off, get away to someplace nice, and try to unwind.	1.3478	0.03998	230	166	48	16
2087	I did tell you there might be side effects...	1.3478	0.04228	230	171	38	21
2088	I'd follow her lead and just eat the apple next time, Adam.	1.3478	0.03908	253	185	48	20
2089	I’ll need him to turn his head and slough.	1.3478	0.03998	230	166	48	16
2090	Well, I don’t think it’s ringworm	1.3477	0.03505	279	198	65	16
2091	That’s OK. We can take your pulse at your ankle.	1.3477	0.03714	256	183	57	16
2092	So, for 'emergency contact' - your wife or your main squeeze?	1.3476	0.03962	233	168	49	16
2093	After looking at your MRI, I think we’ve finally identified what’s causing that tightness in your chest.	1.3476	0.04054	233	170	45	18
2094	Yeah. I've been up for 72 hours. Just tell me your problem.	1.3476	0.04008	233	169	47	17
2095	This feeling of being suffocated might not just be in your head.	1.3476	0.04189	233	173	39	21
2096	I'm glad you stopped smoking, but I still hear a little rattle in your chest	1.3476	0.03962	233	168	49	16
2097	Sorry Howard, since Trump took office millions of swamp creatures have been coming out of hiding and heading for DC.	1.3476	0.03962	233	168	49	16
2098	So, you’re having difficulty swallowing...	1.3475	0.03882	259	190	48	21
2099	In time, you'll forget you even have a gastric band.	1.3475	0.03972	236	171	48	17
2100	When did you notice breathing difficulties?	1.3473	0.03851	262	192	49	21
2101	And then Eve just dropped the apple and ran.	1.3473	0.03926	262	194	45	23
2102	Take a deep breath for me	1.3473	0.04112	239	177	41	21
2103	We're going to need to run some tests.	1.3473	0.03982	239	174	47	18
2104	Unfortunately, this will not stay in Vegas.	1.3473	0.04361	239	183	29	27
2105	Shortness of breath and wheezing. Okay, I'm gonna run some tests.	1.3471	0.04158	242	181	38	23
2106	This prescription for your reptile dysfunction might lead to muscle ache. Are you okay with that?	1.3471	0.03947	242	176	48	18
2107	I have a better solution for your constipation	1.3471	0.04033	242	178	44	20
2108	I'm sorry sir, but the side effects were clearly stated in the television commercial.	1.3471	0.03990	242	177	46	19
2109	Henry, when my nurse asked you to bring in your cobra details, I don’t think she had this in mind!	1.3468	0.03943	222	158	51	13
2110	I wish I could help you but this is a pre-existing condition.	1.3468	0.03891	222	157	53	12
2111	I’m sorry, but without a referral from the vet...	1.3468	0.03879	248	180	50	18
2112	It seems you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.	1.3468	0.03707	248	176	58	14
2113	I’m putting you on a constricted diet.	1.3468	0.03618	248	174	62	12
2114	Good news, Mr Jones...all the tests came back negative."	1.3468	0.03837	248	179	52	17
2115	How do you spell Eve?	1.3467	0.03730	274	200	53	21
2116	It's not your colon.	1.3467	0.03766	274	201	51	22
2117	Springtime in the everglades, my busiest time of the year.	1.3467	0.03958	225	161	50	14
2118	The good news is we can remove the mole on your cheek!	1.3467	0.03958	225	161	50	14
2119	Contact in case of emergency?	1.3466	0.04048	251	187	41	23
2120	So you weren't lying when you told me about your 'ereptile' dysfunction.	1.3466	0.03847	251	182	51	18
2121	So tell me, when did you first notice the constriction"	1.3466	0.03720	251	179	57	15
2122	So you had no idea your emotional support animal was afraid of flying?	1.3466	0.04048	251	187	41	23
2123	Now, I've got to ask this : have you been travelling ?	1.3465	0.03922	228	163	51	14
2124	Good news - you're not dying from cancer!	1.3465	0.04115	228	167	43	18
2125	Sir, I believe the nurse asked you to put on the gown.	1.3465	0.03895	254	186	48	20
2126	Not as charming as you thought, ey?	1.3465	0.03774	254	183	54	17
2127	How soon after you ate the apple did the pain occur?	1.3463	0.04030	231	168	46	17
2128	So Monte, when did you first notice the python?	1.3463	0.04077	231	169	44	18
2129	I have concluded your shortage of breath is not caused by any internal problem.	1.3463	0.03619	257	182	61	14
2130	How long have you been together?	1.3463	0.03702	257	184	57	16
2131	So you say you are feeling some tightness in your chest?	1.3462	0.04129	234	173	41	20
2132	Let's have you try the extended release capsule.	1.3462	0.03757	234	165	57	12
2133	Well sir, I have some crushing news.	1.3462	0.03901	234	168	51	15
2134	And also on a scale of 1 to 10, how difficult would you say it is to breathe?	1.3462	0.03831	260	190	50	20
2135	Looks like your coverage is good.	1.3460	0.03658	289	212	54	23
2136	Your penile enlargement procedure with snake stem cells went extremely well, now we just have to do little trimming	1.3460	0.04178	237	177	38	22
2137	Where does it hurt?	1.3460	0.03958	237	172	48	17
2138	First of all, don't exhale.	1.3460	0.03867	237	170	52	15
2139	It’s gonna take some time to unravel what’s bothering you.	1.3460	0.03958	237	172	48	17
2140	I think I've identified your respiratory problem.	1.3460	0.03913	237	171	50	16
2141	We can deal with the constrictions but those pale white legs are worrying me.	1.3460	0.03958	237	172	48	17
2142	I need you to stand up, touch your toes and cough.	1.3460	0.04047	237	174	44	19
2143	The good news is I've isolated the cause of your constricted breathing.	1.3460	0.03913	237	171	50	16
2144	You might want to consider getting a different type of therapy animal.	1.3459	0.03881	266	197	46	23
2145	So, trouble breathing, a tightness in your chest and abdomen. Anything else?	1.3458	0.03968	240	175	47	18
2146	Take two of these at bedtime, and try not to look delicious.	1.3458	0.03986	214	152	50	12
2147	First of all, we need to remove that mouse tattoo from your chest.	1.3457	0.03814	269	198	49	22
2148	Your insurance no longer covers emotional support reptiles.	1.3457	0.03890	243	176	50	17
2149	So its a yes to “been to places where large snakes are common”.	1.3456	0.04002	217	155	49	13
2150	I am prescribing myself an anti-psychotic as I appear to be having an hallucination.	1.3455	0.03856	246	178	51	17
2151	I've only seen one previous case and it didn't end well.	1.3455	0.03725	246	175	57	14
2152	And what might be the problem today?	1.3455	0.03769	246	176	55	15
2153	Besides this, how was your Costa Rica ziplining experience?	1.3455	0.03941	246	180	47	19
2154	"Have you recently traveled abroad?	1.3455	0.04169	220	161	42	17
2155	Good news. The snake is not venomous.	1.3455	0.03912	220	156	52	12
2156	Do you have a family history of constriction?"	1.3455	0.03646	275	199	57	19
2157	On the bright side, it’s not poisonous,	1.3454	0.03738	249	178	56	15
2158	Relax, we wait until he realizes you’re too big to swallow	1.3454	0.03781	249	179	54	16
2159	Any tightness around your chest area?	1.3454	0.03866	249	181	50	18
2160	What concerns me is that it didn't show up on your last colonoscopy	1.3453	0.04226	223	165	39	19
2161	Sure I've seen this before. Just not with that kind of snake.	1.3453	0.03929	223	159	51	13
2162	And when did you first notice the feeling of constriction?	1.3452	0.03915	252	185	47	20
2163	Either of you allergic to muscle relaxers?	1.3452	0.03750	252	181	55	16
2164	Yes, tightness in the chest...what other symptoms?	1.3451	0.04090	226	165	44	17
2165	So how have your bowel movements been?	1.3451	0.03882	255	187	48	20
2166	To be on the safe side, I'm ordering an angiogram—a tightness in the chest can never be ignored.	1.3450	0.04192	229	170	39	20
2167	Are you sure this was consensual?	1.3450	0.03771	258	187	53	18
2168	When did she develop this crush on you?	1.3450	0.03771	258	187	53	18
2169	Breathe normally	1.3449	0.03608	287	209	57	21
2170	I’ll have to order some tests, of course, but I think you may be being strangled by a python.	1.3448	0.03857	261	192	48	21
2171	I’ll prescribe a lotion for that scaly skin. Any other changes since your last visit?	1.3448	0.03857	261	192	48	21
2172	Keep it wrapped two more days.	1.3448	0.03780	261	190	52	19
2173	I don't want you to be rattled.	1.3448	0.03857	261	192	48	21
2174	Of course we’ll have to do some tests, but I have an idea what the problem might be	1.3447	0.03979	235	171	47	17
2175	We're waiting for a second opinion from your vet.	1.3445	0.03760	238	169	56	13
2176	Any family history of poisonous snakes wrapped around the torso?	1.3445	0.04479	209	157	32	20
2177	Snake oil is snake oil, whether you buy it bottled or harvest it yourself.	1.3444	0.03802	270	199	49	22
2178	Bob, you've just got to learn to unwind.	1.3444	0.03578	270	193	61	16
2179	Would you mind filling out a short survey about your visit today?	1.3444	0.03910	241	175	49	17
2180	First, a few questions. What seems to be your problem?	1.3444	0.04040	241	178	43	20
2181	Have you been on a plane recently?	1.3444	0.04083	241	179	41	21
2182	I can't confirm what's causing your shortness of breath until I get the MRI results.	1.3443	0.03772	273	201	50	22
2183	The good news is that your trouble breathing is not asthma.	1.3443	0.03788	244	175	54	15
2184	The prognosis gives you another three minutes.	1.3443	0.03919	244	178	48	18
2185	Your insurance won’t cover removal. The South American boa constrictor is out of network.	1.3443	0.04046	244	181	42	21
2186	I see why you would think that, but we will need to see the test results in a few days.	1.3442	0.03671	276	201	55	20
2187	Snake oil, but your insurance won't cover it.	1.3442	0.04131	215	156	44	15
2188	Believe it or not, I'm going to write you a script for snake oil.	1.3442	0.04184	215	157	42	16
2189	It's cheaper just to let nature take it's course.	1.3441	0.03800	247	178	53	16
2190	On the plus side, your cholesterol is down.	1.3441	0.03679	279	204	54	21
2191	Yes I did remove an unwanted mole for your brother, but I think you may have misunderstood	1.3440	0.04092	218	158	45	15
2192	On a scale of 1-10 how hard is he squeezing?	1.3440	0.03811	250	181	52	17
2193	I'm going to need to run some tests...	1.3439	0.04347	221	166	34	21
2194	Can you point to where you're feeling the pressure?	1.3439	0.03738	253	182	55	16
2195	The good news is the x-rays show he's eaten recently, so come back in about a week and we'll take another look.	1.3439	0.03821	253	184	51	18
2196	It's not the coil I meant for birth control but who am I to argue with what works.	1.3439	0.03862	253	185	49	19
2197	Do you have any constrictions I should know about?	1.3438	0.03914	224	160	51	13
2198	This delusion you say you have about snakes. Can you elaborate?	1.3438	0.04114	224	164	43	17
2199	You say he's not eating?	1.3438	0.04065	224	163	45	16
2200	Just be happy you didn't have to see the proctologist for this.	1.3438	0.03870	256	188	48	20
2201	Can you sign this release form?	1.3436	0.03838	259	190	49	20
2202	Are you having any other breathing problems	1.3436	0.04262	227	170	36	21
2203	Tylenol 3s for you, and a wart hog for your friend.	1.3435	0.03689	262	189	56	17
2204	No exceptions. I need the insurance card first.	1.3435	0.03768	262	191	52	19
2205	I understand you feel some tightness.	1.3435	0.03650	262	188	58	16
2206	My advice? That you forget about Fifi and let pythons be pythons.	1.3435	0.03768	262	191	52	19
2207	We are all wrapped up here, just go home and unwind.	1.3435	0.03768	262	191	52	19
2208	Your pressure and heart rate seem elevated. Is anything causing you stress?	1.3435	0.04084	230	169	43	18
2209	The good news is your erectile dysfunction has resolved itself.	1.3435	0.04311	230	174	33	23
2210	Unfortunately, according to your policy, this falls under pre-existing condition	1.3435	0.03894	230	165	51	14
2211	Will your friend also be getting the flu shot today?	1.3435	0.04038	230	168	45	17
2212	Switch to a feather version and your chest pain should clear right up.	1.3435	0.03990	230	167	47	16
2213	What goes around, comes around.	1.3435	0.04131	230	170	41	19
2214	Lets see what the lab and x-rays show.	1.3434	0.03961	265	199	41	25
2215	These attachment disorders can be tricky.	1.3433	0.03763	233	165	56	12
2216	I'm going to give you a subscription for a small deer.	1.3433	0.04182	233	174	38	21
2217	Okay, I will note in the chart you have 'killer abs'.	1.3432	0.03919	236	171	49	16
2218	It's the original pre-existing condition.	1.3432	0.03753	271	199	51	21
2219	And we’ll get you some lotion for those scales.	1.3431	0.03652	239	168	60	11
2220	They’re just having some fun with you at the gastroenterology clinic. This isn’t the colonoscopy snake.	1.3431	0.03840	239	172	52	15
2221	You might experience some tightness when swallowing.	1.3431	0.03840	239	172	52	15
2222	We may have to perform a Coilonoscopy.	1.3431	0.04019	239	176	44	19
2223	So for the first two weeks you just assumed it was your mother?	1.3430	0.04026	242	179	43	20
2224	And when did the tightness begin?	1.3430	0.03940	242	177	47	18
2225	Let's see, yup... you're covered for the removal, but not for the disposal.	1.3429	0.03775	245	176	54	15
2226	My diagnosis , " you are a riddle , inside an enigma , wrapped in a python ".	1.3429	0.03597	280	203	58	19
2227	Stop wearing the Boa . It’s much too constricting .	1.3429	0.04197	210	153	42	15
2228	Come back and see me in two weeks if things don’t loosen up	1.3429	0.03451	245	169	68	8
2229	It's the new treatment for constipation...	1.3429	0.03991	245	181	44	20
2230	Take two vermin and see me in a week.	1.3427	0.03830	248	180	51	17
2231	Is it a choking sensation or just a tightness in the chest?	1.3427	0.03915	248	182	47	19
2232	You’re suffering from constrictive heart failure	1.3427	0.03787	248	179	53	16
2233	Have you traveled abroad lately?	1.3427	0.04038	248	185	41	22
2234	Give him three mice daily and pray that he molts you soon.	1.3426	0.03881	251	184	48	19
2235	Bella, I told you not to hug the patients without their consent!	1.3426	0.03922	251	185	46	20
2236	On the other hand, a squeezing feeling in the chest is often the first symptom of a heart attack.	1.3425	0.03889	254	187	47	20
2237	All of your test results are finally back and I think I have pinpointed the cause of your tightness of the chest.	1.3425	0.03889	254	187	47	20
2238	It DOES appear to be a snake, alright. The Herpetologist can see you next Thursday...	1.3425	0.03929	254	188	45	21
2239	This is why Lady Gaga went with the meat dress.	1.3424	0.03896	257	190	46	21
2240	And you say it only hurts when you breathe?"	1.3424	0.03817	257	188	50	19
2241	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant.	1.3424	0.03737	257	186	54	17
2242	Have you recently traveled to any tropical countries?	1.3424	0.03777	257	187	52	18
2243	and...have you traveled to any foreign countries lately?	1.3424	0.03777	257	187	52	18
2244	I’m going to write you a prescription for flute lessons.	1.3424	0.03777	257	187	52	18
2245	What about shortness of breath?	1.3423	0.03786	260	190	51	19
2246	Lots of men recoil before the prostate exam.	1.3423	0.03940	260	194	43	23
2247	You’re sure? No feeling of tightness in your chest?	1.3422	0.03900	225	161	51	13
2248	Seems like you're under a lot of pressure. Just take some time off to unwind.	1.3422	0.03557	263	187	62	14
2249	Let me guess. You’re boarding a plane soon, you can’t get the snake off you, so you want a prescription for an emotional-support animal.	1.3422	0.03870	263	195	46	22
2250	There’s nothing wrong with you medically. If it bites you, be sure to come right back.	1.3421	0.04200	228	170	38	20
2251	If we aren’t seeing results by next month another option could be the lap-band.	1.3421	0.03964	228	165	48	15
2252	Have you two always been this tight?	1.3421	0.03726	266	194	53	19
2253	I'm not sure if it's a boa or a python. I'm going to go ahead and send you to a herpetologist.	1.3420	0.04161	231	172	39	20
2254	Your blood pressure isn’t where I’d like it to be.	1.3420	0.03976	231	168	47	16
2255	You’ll need to see if your insurance covers the mongoose.	1.3420	0.03831	231	165	53	13
2256	And I'm giving you some time off so you can unwind a bit	1.3420	0.03880	231	166	51	14
2257	I see he’s your main squeeze. Any other partners?	1.3420	0.03880	231	166	51	14
2258	This is actually one of the oldest constipation remedies on the books.	1.3419	0.04122	234	174	40	20
2259	Yes, this is fairly common from an emotional support animal.	1.3419	0.03987	234	171	46	17
2260	And how is Eve doing? I haven't seen her in a while.	1.3419	0.03893	234	169	50	15
2261	Never thought I’d be prescribing snake oil!	1.3419	0.03987	234	171	46	17
2262	The good news is that it's not asthma or COPD.	1.3418	0.03718	237	168	57	12
2263	One side effect is you wind up looking like a poop emoji with legs	1.3418	0.03996	237	174	45	18
2264	Abdominal pain, shortness of breath. I have a couple of theories.	1.3418	0.03996	237	174	45	18
2265	Ordinarily, a tapeworm is diagnosed well before this stage.	1.3418	0.03860	237	171	51	15
2266	We'll skip the 'turn your head and cough' thing this year, OK?	1.3418	0.03906	237	172	49	16
2267	I'm not sure you're covered.	1.3418	0.03718	237	168	57	12
2268	Other then "constricted breathing" have you experienced any other symptoms?	1.3417	0.03781	240	172	54	14
2269	So you say you're having some tightness in the chest?	1.3417	0.03826	240	173	52	15
2270	A couple of mice a day and your constriction should go away	1.3417	0.03640	240	169	60	11
2271	You say you're being terminated. Have you considered getting COBRA?	1.3417	0.04091	240	179	40	21
2272	Sorry, but I still have to rule out a prostate problem.	1.3416	0.03883	243	177	49	17
2273	Tightness of the chest, neck, back, and arms as well as fatigue and anxiety... classic symptoms of a heart attack.	1.3416	0.03749	243	174	55	14
2274	If it was a snake it would have bit you	1.3416	0.04096	243	182	39	22
2275	It appears you caught this on your recent trip to the Amazon rain forest	1.3416	0.03969	243	179	45	19
2276	Insurance makes us fill these out. Question 1: What are your symptoms?	1.3416	0.03883	243	177	49	17
2277	So you’re from Florida?	1.3416	0.03926	243	178	47	18
2278	So, would you say the new therapy boa is alleviating or exacerbating your anxiety?	1.3415	0.03850	246	179	50	17
2279	Heart rate and cholesterol levels are fine. Any tension at home or on the job that might be causing this pressure?	1.3415	0.03850	246	179	50	17
2280	I took an oath, Mr. Curran: First, do no charm.	1.3414	0.03901	249	183	47	19
2281	I'm putting you on adderall	1.3414	0.03983	249	185	43	21
2282	I can give him some Valium for now, but he really needs anger management.	1.3414	0.03817	249	181	51	17
2283	Oh, it's a surprisingly common mistake, but I'm a HEPatologist not a HERPetologist	1.3414	0.03731	249	179	55	15
2284	I’m going to try you on snake oil.	1.3413	0.03949	252	187	44	21
2285	So your tests are back and I think we know what's causing the elevated blood pressure.	1.3413	0.03526	252	177	64	11
2286	Give her a muscle relaxer twice a day and maybe she won't be so clingy.	1.3413	0.03786	252	183	52	17
2287	Your blood pressure's a little high, but otherwise, I see no problem.	1.3413	0.03827	252	184	50	18
2288	Yes, you can keep the python on in the shower.	1.3412	0.04234	211	155	40	16
2289	You should have specified a "feather" boa.	1.3412	0.03672	255	183	57	15
2290	Everyone will feel better if you'd just learn to unwind.	1.3412	0.03755	255	185	53	17
2291	Whatever you googled i’m telling you it’s a sore throat.	1.3410	0.04151	217	159	42	16
2292	As your veterinarian I wouldn't worry about your python. When you leave here I suggest you visit your doctor ASAP.	1.3410	0.03851	261	193	47	21
2293	So if I understand you correctly, you were wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt?	1.3409	0.03627	264	190	58	16
2294	I don't think your insurance covers this.	1.3409	0.03782	264	194	50	20
2295	Everything looks fine physically, but you appear to have attachment issues with your pet.	1.3409	0.04111	220	161	43	16
2296	This procedure will empty your bowel in no time and reduce your waist size by up to 5 inches.	1.3408	0.03676	267	194	55	18
2297	My prescription is to to have a rat tossed in front of him. Then run like like hell the other way>	1.3408	0.03863	267	199	45	23
2298	The x-rays do show some minor constriction.	1.3407	0.03494	270	192	64	14
2299	I'm prescribing you Adderrall.	1.3407	0.03832	270	201	46	23
2300	Emergency Contact?	1.3407	0.03885	226	162	51	13
2301	How long have you had this numbness in your feet?	1.3407	0.03834	226	161	53	12
2302	I’m very sorry, sir, but your insurance company doesn’t consider the removal medically necessary.	1.3406	0.03949	229	166	48	15
2303	Your relationship with the snake ... symbiotic or adversarial?	1.3406	0.03737	276	204	50	22
2304	Tightening in the chest, huh? OK, take off your snake and we'll have a look.	1.3405	0.04054	232	171	43	18
2305	Wheezing, chest pressure, anxiety. I’m going with the most obvious: asthma.	1.3405	0.04322	232	177	31	24
2306	Please state your reason for visiting the office today."	1.3405	0.03961	232	169	47	16
2307	Well, we'll need some snake oil to get you out of this.	1.3404	0.03832	235	169	52	14
2308	I’m sorry, but without his consent my hands are tied.	1.3404	0.03926	235	171	48	16
2309	Don’t worry, you’ll shed it in 3-5 days.	1.3404	0.03972	235	172	46	17
2310	Yes, I can certainly certify him as a comfort cobra.	1.3404	0.04063	235	174	42	19
2311	Yes it's somewhat rare, but it is listed by the manufacturer as a possible side effect."	1.3404	0.03576	282	205	58	19
2312	When did you start having trouble breathing?	1.3404	0.03880	235	170	50	15
2313	So you would say your breathing feels constricted?	1.3403	0.03705	238	169	57	12
2314	I see your weight shot up 30 pounds since your last check up. Has something changed in your daily routine, Mr. Humphries?	1.3403	0.04026	238	176	43	19
2315	I think I can remove it. If not, I’ll waive the co-pay.	1.3403	0.03800	238	171	53	14
2316	It's all fun and games Adam, until someone gets hurt	1.3402	0.04076	241	180	40	21
2317	Mr. Moskowitz , we’ll slide you right out when it’s finished digesting Mrs. Moskowitz.	1.3402	0.04076	241	180	40	21
2318	Well, new pets do tend, as a rule, to be a bit clingy.	1.3402	0.03768	241	173	54	14
2319	I said to RESTRICT your diet.	1.3402	0.03768	241	173	54	14
2320	You were only supposed to use the oil.	1.3402	0.03869	244	178	49	17
2321	Vitals are good. Any trouble swallowing?	1.3402	0.03736	244	175	55	14
2322	So chest tightness.... anything else!	1.3401	0.03836	247	180	50	17
2323	okay....so other than the tightness in your chest....	1.3401	0.03793	247	179	52	16
2324	It's what's going around these days.	1.3401	0.03793	247	179	52	16
2325	The good news is, we found out what's causing your sore throat	1.3400	0.03719	250	180	55	15
2326	You know, they can make these with feathers.	1.3400	0.03888	250	184	47	19
2327	So when did you first start noticing this?	1.3399	0.03773	253	184	52	17
2328	Tightness in chest... do you smoke?	1.3399	0.03976	253	189	42	22
2329	I'm sorry, but the emotional support python may be exacerbating your hypertension.	1.3399	0.03773	253	184	52	17
2330	Besides 'difficulty in breathing,' do you have any other complaints?	1.3399	0.03773	253	184	52	17
2331	Yes, I realize that I recommended compression.	1.3399	0.03646	253	181	58	14
2332	I recommend you see a herpetologist.	1.3398	0.03660	256	184	57	15
2333	Pressure in your chest and difficulty breathing? It's probably nothing, but I'll order an EKG.	1.3398	0.03701	256	185	55	16
2334	Easy mistake...although I'm surprised you didn't notice the lack of feathers.	1.3398	0.04022	259	196	38	25
2335	So, Mr. Anders, what brings you to my office today?	1.3398	0.03870	259	192	46	21
2336	Listen, I know I'm only. medical student, but I think I know what's causing your chest pain.	1.3398	0.03672	259	187	56	16
2337	And when did you first experience shortness of breath?	1.3398	0.03631	259	186	58	15
2338	Any symptoms other than tightness of the chest?	1.3397	0.04205	209	153	41	15
2339	There is no reason to be concerned. Shedding its skin is normal.	1.3397	0.03800	262	193	49	20
2340	So you say you’ve been feeling constricted. And about how long does that feeling usually last?	1.3396	0.03814	268	199	47	22
2341	The x-ray shows a slight bowel constriction.	1.3394	0.04135	218	160	42	16
2342	Sir, your comfort snake is really just trying to eat you.	1.3394	0.04083	218	159	44	15
2343	We’ve found that squeezing every last penny out of you is more palatable than affixing leeches to suck you dry.	1.3394	0.04145	221	163	41	17
2344	Let's get you down to radiology for a second opinion.	1.3393	0.04007	224	163	46	15
2345	I assume you brought someone to drive you home.	1.3393	0.03854	224	160	52	12
2346	Tightness in the chest... feelings of impending doom... I’ll have to run a few tests first, but, yes, it could be cardiac in nature.	1.3393	0.04057	224	164	44	16
2347	Think that’s bad? You should see the old lady who swallowed the fly.	1.3393	0.04057	224	164	44	16
2348	Any chest pains? Palpitations? Shortness of breath?	1.3392	0.03921	227	164	49	14
2349	As Morty’s veterinarian, I can tell you that everything looks totally normal.	1.3391	0.04169	230	172	38	20
2350	Looks like your cortisol levels are a little high.	1.3391	0.04214	230	173	36	21
2351	I think that your erectile dysnfuntion might be a synptom of a much larger problem.	1.3391	0.03983	230	168	46	16
2352	You'll need to see a sssspecialist.	1.3391	0.03837	230	165	52	13
2353	So, the nurse tells me you're experiencing a tightness in your chest.	1.3391	0.04040	233	172	43	18
2354	When his skin starts to shed, give him these pills twice a day.	1.3391	0.03900	233	169	49	15
2355	You describe a "squeezing sensation" in your chest area. I'm ordering a full cardiac work-up.	1.3391	0.04130	233	174	39	20
2356	When did you first notice the hissing sound in your left ear?	1.3390	0.03912	236	172	48	16
2357	You say you're feeling constipated?	1.3389	0.03923	239	175	47	17
2358	Take two hampsters every four hours and call me in the morning.	1.3389	0.04012	239	177	43	19
2359	How long have you been hearing this strange hissing sound?	1.3389	0.03968	239	176	45	18
2360	Don't worry, it's not venomous.	1.3389	0.03786	239	172	53	14
2361	If you'll take off your snake, we can get on with the exam.	1.3389	0.03968	239	176	45	18
2362	I think I can help you, but I'm afraid your friend has already been digested.	1.3389	0.03878	239	174	49	16
2363	Believe me, even with this prescription, the airlines are not going to let you board.	1.3389	0.04098	239	179	39	21
2364	A lot of that going around.	1.3388	0.03933	242	178	46	18
2365	When exactly did you start to notice a tightness in the chest?	1.3388	0.03889	242	177	48	17
2366	Now I can prescribe you meds but I think this is more of a lifestyle change.	1.3388	0.03800	242	175	52	15
2367	Apply the oil twice a day, and yes, it's really called that.	1.3388	0.03889	242	177	48	17
2368	Mr. Jones, I'm a hematologist, and what you really need to see is a herpetologist."	1.3388	0.03709	242	173	56	13
2369	Well, your blood pressure seems OK; now if you hop down, I'll have him take your temperature.	1.3388	0.04189	245	187	33	25
2370	So, Adam, how have things been since the divorce?	1.3387	0.03866	248	182	48	18
2371	I know you're on a diet, but your asp keeps getting bigger.	1.3387	0.04229	248	191	30	27
2372	Its messy. There's Eve, God and the whole HMO thing	1.3387	0.03823	248	181	50	17
2373	Tightness of chest is a common symptom of boa constriction.	1.3387	0.03908	248	183	46	19
2374	Well that just about wraps it up.	1.3387	0.03866	248	182	48	18
2375	When you wrote down that you were in a toxic relationship, I just thought....	1.3387	0.03649	248	177	58	13
2376	We no longer recommend an apple a day.	1.3386	0.03833	251	184	49	18
2377	Swallow one mouse and call me in the morning.	1.3386	0.03843	254	187	48	19
2378	Any recent changes in your health?	1.3386	0.03843	254	187	48	19
2379	Any tightness in your chest or difficulty breathing"	1.3385	0.03851	257	190	47	20
2380	I don't often get the chance to prescribe a snake repellent, but here goes.	1.3385	0.03619	260	187	58	15
2381	So Adam how's Eve been	1.3385	0.03780	260	191	50	19
2382	Obviously with this condition you'll want to avoid driving or operating heavy machinery...	1.3385	0.03660	260	188	56	16
2383	We’ve been seeing this going around a lot lately.	1.3383	0.03643	266	193	56	17
2384	Either let go of the human or we are going to shoot you full of muscle relaxer. Your choice.	1.3383	0.03653	269	196	55	18
2385	Okay, but I'm not prescribing you any more emotional support rabbits.	1.3381	0.04296	210	156	37	17
2386	-and then you took a bite of an apple. And then, Adam, what happened next?	1.3381	0.04078	210	152	45	13
2387	How did this happen, last time I saw you were completely wrapped up in yourself.	1.3381	0.03509	281	203	61	17
2388	Let's see if we can figure out this hissing noise keeping you up all night	1.3380	0.03984	213	153	48	12
2389	The good news is your ECG is fine. That's not what's causing the tightness in your chest	1.3380	0.04253	213	158	38	17
2390	The mice don’t seem to be working. I’m prescribing weasels.	1.3380	0.03692	284	211	50	23
2391	...or is it: “FEED a cold, and STARVE a snake...?”	1.3380	0.04093	213	155	44	14
2392	And when did you get into Monty Python?	1.3380	0.04355	213	160	34	19
2393	Do you feel any tightness in the chest area?	1.3380	0.03836	216	153	53	10
2394	Let's start with some blood thinners and a bunch of mice.	1.3379	0.03963	219	158	48	13
2395	Anything in particular making you tense?	1.3378	0.03979	222	161	47	14
2396	Sorry, but this is considered a pre existing condition.	1.3378	0.04139	225	167	40	18
2397	I think I know what’s causing the shortness of breath, but I want to get an X-ray.	1.3378	0.04139	225	167	40	18
2398	There are better ways to clear a frog from your throat	1.3378	0.04090	225	166	42	17
2399	I think you need to unwind a little...	1.3377	0.03598	228	159	61	8
2400	So, what seems to be your problem?	1.3377	0.03872	231	167	50	14
2401	Cramps, perspiration, heaviness of breath...so basically the same side effects as your last medication?	1.3377	0.04108	231	172	40	19
2402	OK chest pressure, difficulty breathing and numbness in arms and legs. When did you first notice these symptoms?"	1.3377	0.03968	231	169	46	16
2403	If by long term, you’re including lunch— No, I don’t think I’d be planning that far ahead.	1.3376	0.03944	237	174	46	17
2404	This is why we don’ t recommend “home remedy” colonoscopy.	1.3376	0.04033	237	176	42	19
2405	No, no, in my professional opinion I’d say what you’re experiencing is definitely a “boa constrictor”, not a bowel constriction.	1.3376	0.03989	237	175	44	18
2406	I think the bigger concern here are your cholesterol levels.	1.3376	0.03805	237	171	52	14
2407	Give it two mice a day and call me in the morning.	1.3376	0.03944	237	174	46	17
2408	So how long has your python had this separation anxiety disorder?	1.3375	0.03954	240	177	45	18
2409	I can tell you right now that your blood pressure is too high.	1.3375	0.03998	240	178	43	19
2410	Look on the bright side - it's much cheaper than the gastric bypass, the copay is just a few rats.	1.3375	0.03864	240	175	49	16
2411	Well, at least you're not wrapped up in yourself anymore.	1.3374	0.04005	243	181	42	20
2412	Pythons are the #1 Doctor Recommended emotional support animal thanks to their incomparable hugs.	1.3374	0.03919	243	179	46	18
2413	I’m confused. You went to a vet first and you consider me a second opinion?	1.3374	0.03799	246	179	51	16
2414	I guess I shouldn't ask you to step on the scales.	1.3374	0.03620	246	175	59	12
2415	So shortness of breath is your chief complaint?	1.3374	0.03886	246	181	47	18
2416	Monty Python?	1.3374	0.03843	246	180	49	17
2417	On a negative note, you have Stage 4 herpatitis.	1.3373	0.03895	249	184	46	19
2418	I can squeeze you in for a follow up tomorrow.	1.3373	0.03768	249	181	52	16
2419	So, troubles breathing huh?	1.3373	0.03853	249	183	48	18
2420	You'll have to sign this before we can proceed.	1.3373	0.04017	249	187	40	22
2421	Sit here for a few minutes and unwind.	1.3373	0.03707	255	185	54	16
2422	Your boa is in surprisingly good shape for not having eaten in a month.	1.3373	0.03665	255	184	56	15
2423	I take it the snake oil isn't helping?	1.3373	0.03665	255	184	56	15
2424	The surgeon who specializes in python removal can squeeze you in next Thursday.	1.3372	0.03422	258	181	67	10
2425	Yeah, I've seen this before. It's a biblical thing.	1.3372	0.03798	258	190	49	19
2426	Just out of curiosity, how long have you had that lisp?	1.3372	0.03798	258	190	49	19
2427	Maybe you should try a turtleneck.	1.3372	0.03921	261	196	42	23
2428	So, aside from that, how was your trip up the Amazon?	1.3372	0.03648	261	189	56	16
2429	I'm sorry ,Boas and Anacodas are covered, but your plan has a rider on Pythons.	1.3371	0.03620	264	191	57	16
2430	So tell me...are you sexually active?	1.3371	0.03889	264	198	43	23
2431	I've got some good news and bad news for you. First the good news. You don't have intestinal parasites	1.3371	0.03540	264	189	61	14
2432	There's nothing in the lab results to explain your shortness of breath.	1.3369	0.03703	279	207	50	22
2433	Unfortunately, your policy only covers Burmese pythons - try southeast Asia next summer instead of Florida.	1.3364	0.04183	214	158	40	16
2434	How severe is your pain on a scale of 1 to 2,500?	1.3364	0.03985	217	157	47	13
2435	I need to know if you bit the apple	1.3364	0.04252	220	165	36	19
2436	I'm optimistic. Last week you said 'oh, gee, it's up to my knee,' and I'm not hearing any knee complaints today.	1.3364	0.04052	220	161	44	15
2437	You Need Cobra not Python Insurance	1.3364	0.04252	220	165	36	19
2438	Annnnnd, what seems to be the problem?	1.3363	0.03964	223	162	47	14
2439	Take a couple of these every night, John: they'll help you unwind...	1.3363	0.04258	223	168	35	20
2440	Your blood pressure is off the charts.	1.3363	0.03860	223	160	51	12
2441	I am afraid I cannot find a billing code for this issue. Sorry, but you will have to pay for this visit out of pocket.	1.3363	0.04211	223	167	37	19
2442	And you say this was a Valentines day gift from your wife?	1.3362	0.04047	232	172	42	18
2443	Are you feeling a tightness in your chest?	1.3362	0.03858	232	168	50	14
2444	So, this says you’ve been experiencing shortness of breath...	1.3362	0.03777	235	169	53	13
2445	...and how long have you been feeling constricted?	1.3362	0.03965	235	173	45	17
2446	So when did you start having chest pain?	1.3362	0.03965	235	173	45	17
2447	Sorry, sir, I was talking to the python. He seems to have better coverage.	1.3361	0.03697	238	170	56	12
2448	I suggested you go on a restrictive diet, not a constrictor diet.	1.3361	0.03930	238	175	46	17
2449	Yes, there is a reason that you can’t raise your arms.	1.3361	0.03745	238	171	54	13
2450	Honestly Bill, aren't you getting a little too defensive about having your prostate examined?	1.3361	0.03930	238	175	46	17
2451	Low oxygen, rapid weight gain . . . we'll need to run a few more tests.	1.3361	0.03851	241	176	49	16
2452	It may take a week or two, but you've just got to unwind.	1.3361	0.03862	244	179	48	17
2453	Well, this certainly explains the tightness in your chest you called us about.	1.3361	0.03774	244	177	52	15
2454	I won't know what's causing your chest pain until I order some lab work.	1.3361	0.03906	244	180	46	18
2455	So - your difficulty breathing. Is it all the time, or does it come and go?	1.3361	0.03949	244	181	44	19
2456	I'm writing you a prescription to ease your constriction.	1.3361	0.03991	244	182	42	20
2457	Well, we'll rule out COPD.	1.3361	0.03818	244	178	50	16
2458	A course of antiboa-otics should clear this right up.	1.3360	0.03698	247	178	55	14
2459	That's nothing. Wait until you get my bill.	1.3360	0.03654	247	177	57	13
2460	For insurance purposes, are you one or two patients?	1.3360	0.04004	250	188	40	22
2461	As a precaution, I’m prescribing a potent laxative for the snake.	1.3360	0.03881	250	185	46	19
2462	You took the subway?	1.3360	0.03712	250	181	54	15
2463	On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 be the mildest and 10 being the most crushing, how would you rate the constriction?	1.3360	0.03624	250	179	58	13
2464	And when did the shortness of breath start?	1.3360	0.03808	253	186	49	18
2465	Yes, it's like compression socks.	1.3360	0.03552	253	180	61	12
2466	I want you to switch to a Paleo Diet and avoid the fruit of a certain tree.	1.3360	0.03929	253	189	43	21
2467	I'm going to prescribe you some snake oil.	1.3360	0.03849	253	187	47	19
2468	Boris here will be your therapy pet.	1.3359	0.03653	256	185	56	15
2469	I see here that your blood pressure is up a little today.	1.3359	0.03653	256	185	56	15
2470	When did you first notice this shortness of breath?	1.3359	0.03677	262	191	54	17
2471	I'm concerned about your circulation.	1.3359	0.03596	262	189	58	15
2472	Chest tightness, shortness of breath.. It might be just stress.	1.3358	0.03839	265	198	45	22
2473	I can hear a rattling in your chest. We need to get that checked out.	1.3358	0.03726	265	195	51	19
2474	Apparently your diet is not the cause of your high blood pressure.	1.3358	0.03620	268	195	56	17
2475	The tightness in your chest could be caused by any number of things, Mr. Albers. We’ll have to run a few tests.	1.3358	0.03845	268	201	44	23
2476	Has your constriction lasted for more than four hours?	1.3357	0.03586	280	205	56	19
2477	Unfortuntely we can't do anything until its bitten you	1.3350	0.04126	206	150	43	13
2478	Your date of birth here says sixth day, but no month or year. Why is that?	1.3349	0.04127	218	161	41	16
2479	The good news is your snake will be just fine.”	1.3349	0.04023	218	159	45	14
2480	Well...I'll tell ya, it sure is a shame that we didn't detect this earlier...	1.3348	0.03881	221	159	50	12
2481	When did you first notice the hissing sound?	1.3348	0.03796	233	168	52	13
2482	In my experience, your shortness of breath is probably asthma, but let's see what the tests say...	1.3348	0.03986	233	172	44	17
2483	Trust me, after a few weeks you’ll wonder how you ever got along without it.	1.3348	0.03892	233	170	48	15
2484	Any symptoms other than tightness in your chest?	1.3347	0.03905	236	173	47	16
2485	Sorry for the long wait, I see your insurance is in order... What seems to be the problem?	1.3347	0.04041	236	176	41	19
2486	Next time specifically ask for a feather boa.	1.3347	0.03871	239	175	48	16
2487	Well, we've gotten results back from the lab, and I'm happy to report that the tightness in your chest is not the result of a heart attack.	1.3347	0.03732	239	172	54	13
2488	Doctor, it's not me. I'm here for the snake.	1.3347	0.03916	239	176	46	17
2489	So...your insurance company wants to know if this is a pre-existing condition	1.3347	0.04019	245	184	40	21
2490	Actually, it's not covered by anyone's insurance.	1.3347	0.03935	245	182	44	19
2491	You're fine, but the snake has a skin condition.	1.3347	0.03943	248	185	43	20
2492	The good news is that the tightness in your chest is not attributable to cardiac health.	1.3347	0.03773	248	181	51	16
2493	Do you have any other partners	1.3347	0.03901	248	184	45	19
2494	Tell me what seems to be the problem?	1.3347	0.03943	248	185	43	20
2495	Here's a doctor's order for your service animal.	1.3347	0.03859	248	183	47	18
2496	I am arranging a PET scan to see if we can determine what’s causing the tightness in your chest.	1.3347	0.03656	251	181	56	14
2497	Okay, I’m going to ask you not to take a deep breath...	1.3347	0.03656	251	181	56	14
2498	I’m sorry sir, we still have to perform a prostate exam. Standard procedure.	1.3347	0.03909	251	187	44	20
2499	So it says here, you’re suffering from shortness of breath. Would you say that is something recent?	1.3346	0.03712	254	185	53	16
2500	Your chest is a little constricted, but your blood work looks just fine.	1.3346	0.03665	263	192	54	17
2501	Shortness of breath? For how long?	1.3346	0.03743	263	194	50	19
2502	How long since the move has she been this clingy?	1.3346	0.03376	263	185	68	10
2503	Yes, I suppose we could use a blood pressure cuff instead.	1.3346	0.03625	263	191	56	16
2504	You have one of the worst cases of coilitis I’ve ever seen	1.3346	0.03936	266	202	39	25
2505	On the plus side, it looks like your blood sugar is finally under control	1.3346	0.03685	269	198	52	19
2506	Give him two rats and call me in the morning.	1.3346	0.03685	269	198	52	19
2507	Does it hurt when you swallow?	1.3346	0.03452	269	192	64	13
2508	I think I can explain the shortness of breath.	1.3345	0.03517	275	199	60	16
2509	So apparently not every apple keeps the doctor away, Adam.	1.3345	0.03876	275	209	40	26
2510	Your knee reflexes are fine.	1.3333	0.03671	258	188	54	16
2511	I meant you should go on a restricted diet, not a constricted one!	1.3333	0.03984	225	165	45	15
2512	And what seems to be your problem ?	1.3333	0.03815	231	167	51	13
2513	I'm prescribing something to make you less delicious.	1.3333	0.03960	231	170	45	16
2514	This should help with the swelling, but side effects may include difficulty breathing.	1.3333	0.04191	231	175	35	21
2515	But should you unwind the python you will be full Monty.	1.3333	0.03896	252	188	44	20
2516	...and discontinue the support animal for your back condition.	1.3333	0.04092	228	170	40	18
2517	We'll have the results of your stress test in just a minute.	1.3333	0.03719	240	173	54	13
2518	Mr. Jones, I believe we're finally beginning to understand what might be behind your unusually high blood pressure.	1.3333	0.03761	249	182	51	16
2519	It looks like PETA has blocked all the available treatments.	1.3333	0.03636	270	198	54	18
2520	The good news is we did find the tail...	1.3333	0.03730	252	184	52	16
2521	Fortunately your insurance pays for wraparound services.	1.3333	0.03864	231	168	49	14
2522	Good morning Mr. Pivnick, what brings you in today?	1.3333	0.04008	231	171	43	17
2523	Sorry, this is the best colonoscopy procedure we can do with your medical insurance	1.3333	0.03909	258	194	42	22
2524	This is what keeps dermatology interesting.	1.3333	0.03803	249	183	49	17
2525	Sorry, all our herpetologists are out of network.	1.3333	0.03982	237	176	43	18
2526	Chest pressure yes, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a heart attack!	1.3333	0.03878	234	171	48	15
2527	I'm putting you on anti-constrictor medication.	1.3333	0.04045	228	169	42	17
2528	I’m prescribing you this emotional support animal for your anxiety issues.	1.3333	0.03692	264	194	52	18
2529	And, you say you’re having trouble breathing, correct?	1.3333	0.03823	255	189	47	19
2530	So you’re trying to leave her because she’s smothering you?	1.3333	0.04045	228	169	42	17
2531	So tell me, where does it hurt?	1.3333	0.03844	237	173	49	15
2532	Strip down to your gerbils.	1.3333	0.03896	252	188	44	20
2533	I'm going to recommend charm school.	1.3333	0.04026	237	177	41	19
2534	Looks like you’ve been too charming for your own good.	1.3333	0.03846	249	184	47	18
2535	Let's see if we can't shuffle off this mortal coil, eh?	1.3333	0.03883	264	199	42	23
2536	They say they won't cover this because it's a pre-existing condition.	1.3333	0.03845	264	198	44	22
2537	We feel its entirely allegorical.	1.3333	0.03970	222	162	46	14
2538	Trust me--next best thing to a laxative.	1.3333	0.04026	237	177	41	19
2539	Get rid of the apple tree.	1.3333	0.03814	252	186	48	18
2540	As a rescue boa, you have to expect this kind of thing. Here's a Rx for a muscle relaxant.	1.3333	0.03823	255	189	47	19
2541	The nurse said you are having trouble breathing?	1.3333	0.03644	252	182	56	14
2542	Is there any history of this happening in your family?	1.3333	0.03766	240	174	52	14
2543	So he was in your neighbor's apple tree?	1.3333	0.03823	255	189	47	19
2544	I'm going have to refer you to a herpetologist.	1.3333	0.03782	234	169	52	13
2545	And this was after Eve bit the apple?	1.3333	0.03784	270	202	46	22
2546	I don't care how constipated you are. Stop taking medical advice from Goop.	1.3333	0.03963	246	184	42	20
2547	Possible side effects include tightness,faintness,claustrophobia,hysteria,loss of blood flow,immobility,neck strain,over-heating,and the sneaking suspicion you belong in a zoo.	1.3333	0.03704	246	178	54	14
2548	Look, everyone has excuses for high blood pressure, I’m still recommending lowering your sodium intake.	1.3333	0.03702	237	170	55	12
2549	Is the tightness just in your chest?	1.3333	0.03921	246	183	44	19
2550	Okay, I see the problem. You can get dressed.	1.3333	0.03658	246	177	56	13
2551	So, tingling in the feet can have many root causes...	1.3333	0.03642	261	190	55	16
2552	Well, we first met on Slithr.	1.3333	0.04208	204	150	40	14
2553	I'm pretty sure it is not an allergy.	1.3333	0.03984	225	165	45	15
2554	Well, the snake is in-network, but the antivenin is out of network.	1.3333	0.04131	225	168	39	18
2555	The good news is that this should shed off in about 6 months.	1.3333	0.03919	222	161	48	13
2556	The nurse screamed something about a tightness in your chest so I'm ordering an EKG to help us figure out what might be causing that.	1.3333	0.03761	261	193	49	19
2557	I see you're over 50. I'm recommending a colonoscopy.	1.3321	0.03670	262	192	53	17
2558	Can you please be more specific when you describe feeling a "tightness around your chest"?	1.3321	0.03710	262	193	51	18
2559	Your wife called and asked if you could pick up a few apples on the way home.	1.3320	0.03740	259	191	50	18
2560	What we are dealing with here is a strong case of separation anxiety.	1.3320	0.03779	259	192	48	19
2561	I'm going to refer you to a very good anaconda man I know.	1.3320	0.03770	256	189	49	18
2562	You do have a COBRA from you last job, but I'm afraid there is no python benefit.	1.3320	0.03883	253	189	44	20
2563	I'm sorry sir, we only deal with first world problems here.	1.3320	0.03759	253	186	50	17
2564	Just because it doesn’t have feathers doesn’t mean you’re not gay.	1.3320	0.03997	250	189	39	22
2565	You're blood pressure is abnormally high.	1.3320	0.03791	250	184	49	17
2566	The Good news is the snake is in perfect health.	1.3320	0.03748	250	183	51	16
2567	...Loss of appetite, shortness of breath, tightness in your chest. I'm going to refer you to one of our resident charmers.	1.3320	0.04032	247	187	38	22
2568	Lucky for you, this is the only affliction Snake Oil cures.	1.3320	0.03865	247	183	46	18
2569	Generally when they wrap themselves around you like this, it's something other than a show of affection.	1.3320	0.03941	244	182	43	19
2570	I am referring you to Dr. Patel, down the hall. If he has his instrument, a pungi, he will charm that snake from you in two minutes.	1.3320	0.03676	244	176	55	13
2571	For now, you are restricted from physical activity...well, constricted.	1.3320	0.03766	244	178	51	15
2572	The good news is you're on the outside of it.	1.3320	0.04019	241	181	40	20
2573	Good news? You look dashing in a boa. Bad news? It will be hungry soon.”	1.3320	0.03932	241	179	44	18
2574	Well, WebMD is no doctor.	1.3320	0.03563	241	171	60	10
2575	I'm prescribing a steroid cream for the scaly skin.	1.3320	0.03612	241	172	58	11
2576	Those YouTube challenges keeps getting weirder	1.3320	0.03798	241	176	50	15
2577	You’ve got to learn to unwind.	1.3319	0.03967	238	177	43	18
2578	It gives a much more accurate reading of your blood pressure.	1.3319	0.03877	238	175	47	16
2579	Has it been more than four hours?	1.3319	0.03967	238	177	43	18
2580	If it's any consolation, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.	1.3319	0.03957	235	174	44	17
2581	You just need a dose of antihisstamines.	1.3319	0.04176	232	176	35	21
2582	Your snake is in great health -- but I think it's about time you saw an MD.	1.3319	0.04030	229	170	42	17
2583	I’m going to pull it’s tail. Your legs will either spin like a top or your head will pop like a cherry.	1.3319	0.03933	229	168	46	15
2584	I checked and neither your primary nor your secondary covers this.	1.3319	0.04170	229	173	36	20
2585	Frankly I don't think your problem is asthma.	1.3319	0.03933	229	168	46	15
2586	I see you’re fully covered, but unfortunately your snake is not.	1.3319	0.03835	229	166	50	13
2587	This should reduce your swelling.	1.3319	0.03869	226	164	49	13
2588	My wife has a similar handbag	1.3318	0.04134	217	161	40	16
2589	I see here you’re complaining of difficulty swallowing, a tightness in you chest and a compacted bowel... anything else	1.3318	0.04286	217	164	34	19
2590	Uh huh, and have your contractions increased since your last visit?	1.3318	0.04030	217	159	44	14
2591	So, when did you first notice the contractions?	1.3318	0.04279	214	161	35	18
2592	Trust me. It'll do wonders for your back pain.	1.3309	0.03333	278	198	68	12
2593	I just need you to fill out this form and then the doctor can see you.	1.3309	0.03695	275	205	49	21
2594	Mr. Ralston, I'm confident you have what we used to call grippe	1.3308	0.03578	263	191	57	15
2595	Just feed it three mice daily and you'll be just fine See you in a year.	1.3308	0.03564	260	188	58	14
2596	Well we're out of rodents so let's give the clarinet a try.	1.3308	0.03845	260	195	44	21
2597	This is not what I meant when I suggested you constrict your activity.	1.3307	0.03788	254	188	48	18
2598	The good news: We’ve killed your tapeworm.	1.3307	0.03533	254	182	60	12
2599	Your cholesterol is ok but your pressure is through the roof!	1.3307	0.03983	251	190	39	22
2600	Do you feel out of breath when you go up stairs?	1.3307	0.03983	251	190	39	22
2601	How long have you been feeling constricted?	1.3307	0.03692	251	183	53	15
2602	I can see that you are feeling a bit constricted.	1.3306	0.03852	248	184	46	18
2603	...and his name is Monty, you say?	1.3306	0.03678	248	180	54	14
2604	There is nothing I can do until you sign this consent form.	1.3306	0.03809	248	183	48	17
2605	And you say Eve ate the whole apple.	1.3306	0.03885	245	182	45	18
2606	Are you currently feeling any discomfort?	1.3306	0.03919	242	180	44	18
2607	The herpetologist can see you a week from Thursday."You OK with that	1.3306	0.03919	242	180	44	18
2608	‘My prescription for you...Get out of Florida immediately.”	1.3306	0.03962	242	181	42	19
2609	I have some good news regarding your scoliosis.	1.3306	0.03739	242	176	52	14
2610	I'm admitting the snake to the hospital. You just have to go along.	1.3306	0.03785	242	177	50	15
2611	So...it says here you feel a tightness in your chest?	1.3306	0.03830	242	178	48	16
2612	I have your test results. It’s not a goiter.”	1.3305	0.03771	239	174	51	14
2613	On the plus side, all of your vitals look good...	1.3305	0.04033	236	177	40	19
2614	Sorry, your health plan doesn't cover pre-existing conditions.	1.3305	0.04033	236	177	40	19
2615	Apparently not all pets lower your blood pressure.	1.3305	0.03932	233	172	45	16
2616	I think that we might have figured out what is causing the tightness in your chest.	1.3305	0.03836	233	170	49	14
2617	Tightness in chest...any other symptoms?	1.3304	0.03870	230	168	48	14
2618	Your blood pressure is a little high. Are you exercising	1.3304	0.04015	230	171	42	17
2619	You need to unwind. Literally.	1.3304	0.03919	230	169	46	15
2620	Is there a reason you didn't come in earlier?	1.3304	0.04147	227	171	37	19
2621	Well, yes, that constricted feeling in the chest is a common symptom of a panic attack. However, it could also be caused by your pet snake.	1.3304	0.04052	227	169	41	17
2622	I reccomend three aspirin and eight live rats daily.	1.3304	0.03804	227	164	51	12
2623	When did this relationship start, and why do you think she's become so possessive?	1.3304	0.04052	227	169	41	17
2624	And are you feeling any shortness of breath?	1.3304	0.03940	224	164	46	14
2625	Now, let's talk about that so-called 'companion animal' of yours.	1.3304	0.03889	224	163	48	13
2626	Whatever you do, don't exhale.	1.3303	0.03872	221	160	49	12
2627	Have you tried gyrating counter clockwise?	1.3303	0.03818	221	159	51	11
2628	We'll get your blood pressure down one way or another.	1.3302	0.03998	215	157	45	13
2629	... and how long have you been feeling this tightness in your chest?	1.3302	0.04146	212	157	40	15
2630	How bad is the pain on a “scale” of 1 to 10 feet?	1.3296	0.03704	270	201	49	20
2631	Sssso, what sssseems to be the problem?	1.3295	0.03647	264	194	53	17
2632	OK...Tightness in your chest. Have you been exercising? How about alcohol consumption? Getting enough sleep? Problems at home or at work?	1.3295	0.03763	264	197	47	20
2633	Just relax and let him take your blood pressure.	1.3295	0.03763	264	197	47	20
2634	I don't know what's causing your shortness of breath. All your blood test results look fine.	1.3295	0.03763	264	197	47	20
2635	Eugene, I think we can rule out cancer.	1.3295	0.03553	261	189	58	14
2636	Aside from the tightness in your chest, are you experiencing any other symptoms?	1.3295	0.03825	258	193	45	20
2637	I think you should probably see a vet.	1.3295	0.03452	258	184	63	11
2638	I think I know what's causing your shortness of breath.	1.3295	0.03785	258	192	47	19
2639	Has he shown signs of discomfort?	1.3294	0.03608	255	185	56	14
2640	Would you say you feel.. mmh.. constricted?	1.3294	0.03856	255	191	44	20
2641	Your cholesterol is high, but it won't kill you.	1.3294	0.03856	255	191	44	20
2642	Yep, it's herpes.	1.3294	0.03936	255	193	40	22
2643	You say you first used it as a small scarf and then it grew on you?	1.3294	0.03807	252	187	47	18
2644	That feeling of a constriction and shortness of breath can be a false indicator. Let's get you downstairs for an EKG.	1.3294	0.03889	252	189	43	20
2645	Your insurance says you’re fine.	1.3294	0.03765	252	186	49	17
2646	Well It appears we can rule out Asthma	1.3294	0.03680	252	184	53	15
2647	Good news- your cholesterol is fine.	1.3293	0.03622	249	180	56	13
2648	Good news! She views the relationship as symbiotic.	1.3293	0.03666	249	181	54	14
2649	Just to be safe, let’s order another test.	1.3293	0.03922	249	187	42	20
2650	Next time I strongly suggest a feathered one.	1.3293	0.04161	246	190	31	25
2651	I'm no expert when it comes to relationships. But I think someone's got a crush on you.	1.3293	0.03696	246	179	53	14
2652	We’re short on time, so I’ll skip the good news/ bad new routine	1.3293	0.03741	246	180	51	15
2653	This is the homeopathic way to take your blood pressure	1.3293	0.03828	246	182	47	17
2654	It’s not as bad as it looks.	1.3293	0.03605	246	177	57	12
2655	Sorry to make you wait but I am up to my neck with patients today.	1.3292	0.03392	243	170	66	7
2656	With chest pain we always have to rule out a heart condition.	1.3292	0.03948	243	182	42	19
2657	I’d like to prescribe him a muscle relaxer. Any known allergies?	1.3292	0.03894	240	178	45	17
2658	So you say you've had difficulty breathing recently?	1.3292	0.03849	240	177	47	16
2659	So where do you feel the tightness?	1.3292	0.03894	240	178	45	17
2660	I have your diagnosis but it may be difficult to swallow	1.3292	0.03983	240	180	41	19
2661	Have you tried using a gentle wind instrument?	1.3291	0.04019	237	178	40	19
2662	If you’d just taken the apple, none of us would be here.	1.3291	0.03837	237	174	48	15
2663	I’m prescribing two mice a day.	1.3291	0.03790	237	173	50	14
2664	So it says here you're feeling constricted?	1.3291	0.03929	237	176	44	17
2665	I’m not sure why you’re having trouble breathing. Let’s order some tests.	1.3291	0.03974	237	177	42	18
2666	Can you tell me when the shortness of breath started?	1.3291	0.03790	237	173	50	14
2667	I'm afraid your insurance company is about to put the squeeze on you too."	1.3291	0.03790	237	173	50	14
2668	Good news, the constriction you're experiencing in your chest is not heart-related	1.3291	0.03742	237	172	52	13
2669	I am referring you to Dr. Charmer.	1.3291	0.04063	237	179	38	20
2670	Next of Kin? Eve, you say?	1.3291	0.03883	237	175	46	16
2671	Besides that, any allergies?	1.3291	0.03837	237	174	48	15
2672	Whether it's your insurance company, or this boa, you're getting squeezed either way.	1.3291	0.03774	234	170	51	13
2673	I wish I could help you with the boa constrictor, but it looks like your insurance only covers pythons.	1.3291	0.04055	234	176	39	19
2674	Your blood pressure today seems slightly elevated.	1.3291	0.03870	234	172	47	15
2675	The good news is that it looks like he already had lunch.	1.3291	0.03870	234	172	47	15
2676	I still need you to sign your insurance information form.	1.3290	0.03952	231	171	44	16
2677	Sorry. We were out of gowns.	1.3289	0.04084	228	171	39	18
2678	Surprisingly, your blood pressure is normal.	1.3289	0.03890	228	167	47	14
2679	I wanted your diet to be restrictive, not constrictive.	1.3289	0.04084	228	171	39	18
2680	I'm going to prescribe you some mice.	1.3288	0.03962	222	163	45	14
2681	I won't be able to look at that neck of yours unless you take off your boa.	1.3287	0.04244	216	163	35	18
2682	OK, I'll order some tests, but I'm not going to ask you how you had the foresight to get undressed before this happened.	1.3285	0.03737	274	206	46	22
2683	Physically, he's fine.	1.3284	0.03607	268	197	54	17
2684	It says here that you've been experiencing some tightness in your chest.	1.3283	0.03674	265	196	51	18
2685	Look, I don't know what you want from me. Your snake is in perfect health.	1.3283	0.04040	198	143	45	10
2686	It will be just a few minutes, we’re waiting for PETA to call us back so we don’t injure him.	1.3282	0.04041	259	200	33	26
2687	I'm writing a referral to a snake oil salesman._	1.3282	0.03610	259	189	55	15
2688	I put your odds at about one serpent.	1.3282	0.03851	259	195	43	21
2689	Looks like you caught something during your recent trip to the Amazon Rain Forest	1.3281	0.03844	256	192	44	20
2690	Effects may include shortness of breath.	1.3281	0.03554	256	185	58	13
2691	It's working. You've lost 17 pounds !	1.3281	0.03681	256	188	52	16
2692	Can you be more specific about the shortness of breath?	1.3281	0.03710	253	186	51	16
2693	When did you notice you were having trouble breathing?	1.3281	0.03625	253	184	55	14
2694	Anything beyond the sudden chest tightness?	1.3281	0.03537	253	182	59	12
2695	I'm pretty sure your insurance won't cover this.	1.3280	0.03697	250	183	52	15
2696	So you are feeling some tightness in your chest?	1.3280	0.03741	250	184	50	16
2697	Scaly skin is just the symptom of a much larger issue.	1.3280	0.03610	250	181	56	13
2698	I'm just your Primary you'll need a Specialist for this.	1.3279	0.03728	247	181	51	15
2699	It isn’t actually venomous, so you should be fine.	1.3279	0.03772	247	182	49	16
2700	The Full Monty Python	1.3279	0.03942	247	186	41	20
2701	The cost for the procedure includes a wallet for you to take home if you like.	1.3279	0.04143	244	188	32	24
2702	The ankle rash should clear up in a week or so.	1.3279	0.03803	244	180	48	16
2703	Other than feeling short of breath, anything else you've noticed?	1.3279	0.03668	244	177	54	13
2704	I recommend you see this veterinarian for a second opinion.	1.3279	0.03622	244	176	56	12
2705	And has Jane done this to you before?	1.3278	0.04055	241	183	37	21
2706	I'm going to need you to completely shed.	1.3278	0.03790	241	177	49	15
2707	Does it interfere with your sleep?	1.3277	0.03960	238	178	42	18
2708	Let me get this straight, you wanted to have a snake skin jacket but you are a member of PETA.	1.3277	0.04135	238	182	34	22
2709	When did you first feel constricted ?	1.3277	0.03915	238	177	44	17
2710	just how did you wind up around this guy?	1.3277	0.03823	238	175	48	15
2711	"Next we'll try a comfort gecko."	1.3277	0.03584	238	170	58	10
2712	Most importantly, you shouldn't have tread on him.	1.3277	0.03869	238	176	46	16
2713	Okay. We are done here. You can get dressed now.	1.3277	0.03915	238	177	44	17
2714	So, are you having trouble sleeping?	1.3277	0.03712	235	170	53	12
2715	If this doesn’t work, we’ll try the oil.	1.3277	0.03903	235	174	45	16
2716	You noted that you have been feeling a little constricted near your heart. Can you elaborate?	1.3277	0.04085	235	178	37	20
2717	And how long have you had this rattle?	1.3277	0.03949	235	175	43	17
2718	We can deal with the tightness in your chest but separation anxiety will be a separate issue	1.3276	0.03938	232	172	44	16
2719	That's not what I meant by a restrictive diet.	1.3276	0.03842	232	170	48	14
2720	Other than the tightness, any other irregulatities?	1.3276	0.03842	232	170	48	14
2721	Don't worry Mr. Johnson, the snake is going to be fine.	1.3276	0.03842	232	170	48	14
2722	The results are in and you probably know this already but you've got snake	1.3275	0.04162	229	174	35	20
2723	So, you think you may have contracted this on a plane?"	1.3274	0.04195	223	169	35	19
2724	Thought so: compression fracture.	1.3273	0.04035	220	163	42	15
2725	If you want to fly, you'll have to get a different support animal.	1.3272	0.03754	272	205	45	22
2726	On the bright side, we were able to retrieve your wedding ring.	1.3272	0.04125	217	162	39	16
2727	At least it's not an invasive species.	1.3271	0.03701	266	198	49	19
2728	I'm prescribing a feather boa instead.	1.3271	0.03701	266	198	49	19
2729	Have you noticed any other problems besides feeling constricted?	1.3269	0.03838	260	196	43	21
2730	I think it's time we addressed your blood pressure issue.	1.3269	0.03680	260	192	51	17
2731	I usually specialize in internal medicine...	1.3269	0.03557	260	189	57	14
2732	It might take a couple hours for the muscle relaxant to take effect.	1.3268	0.03669	257	189	52	16
2733	Actually, you're my third exotic animal selfie case this week.	1.3268	0.03627	257	188	54	15
2734	With these prescriptions, the hissing that you’re hearing should stop.	1.3268	0.03627	257	188	54	15
2735	It looks healthy to me.	1.3268	0.03627	257	188	54	15
2736	Love your boa!”	1.3268	0.03698	254	187	51	16
2737	I'm scheduling a hearing test. I said compression socks, not constrictor snake.	1.3267	0.03936	251	190	40	21
2738	We had so many complaints about the paper gowns that open in the back that we decided to try this.	1.3267	0.03642	251	183	54	14
2739	I would have suggested Mira-Lax, but I'm sure your shaman knows best.	1.3266	0.03845	248	185	45	18
2740	You're in luck. My Veterinarian's license doesn't expire until next week.	1.3266	0.03671	248	181	53	14
2741	Well, we've ruled out anything you've eaten	1.3266	0.03845	248	185	45	18
2742	With your lack of insurance Mr. Smith, I’m unable to remove the snake; however I can send you home with some mice	1.3266	0.03715	248	182	51	15
2743	Take 3 rats and call me in the morning	1.3265	0.03655	245	178	54	13
2744	Weight gain around the middle is the most dangerous.	1.3265	0.03746	245	180	50	15
2745	You seem to have high blood pressure	1.3264	0.03867	242	180	45	17
2746	It's anybody's guess why you came to a vet, but if I have to sacrifice you to save the snake, that's all she wrote.	1.3264	0.04040	242	184	37	21
2747	Next time,I recommend just taking the apple.	1.3264	0.03867	242	180	45	17
2748	Systolic is a little high. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?	1.3264	0.03732	242	177	51	14
2749	Difficulty breathing? Okay, any other symptoms?	1.3264	0.03809	239	176	48	15
2750	These pills will relax him, but unfortunately he's not covered on your plan.	1.3264	0.03763	239	175	50	14
2751	How would you rate the feeling of tightness... on a scale of one to ten?	1.3264	0.03901	239	178	44	17
2752	It's one of the occupational hazards of being a snake oil salesman.	1.3264	0.03855	239	177	46	16
2753	Tightness..in..the...chest. OK. Any changes to your diet or exercise?	1.3264	0.03809	239	176	48	15
2754	Can you be more specific than just a squeezing sensation?	1.3263	0.03456	285	209	59	17
2755	I checked the computer. The results are negative. You are good to go.	1.3263	0.03935	236	176	43	17
2756	So you say something you disagreed with is about to eat you?	1.3263	0.04026	236	178	39	19
2757	Just as I expected, the lab results show you're wound too tight.	1.3263	0.04070	236	179	37	20
2758	The test results hint at a possible cause of your chest tightness.	1.3263	0.03699	236	171	53	12
2759	When did you first notice this sensation of tightness in your chest?	1.3263	0.03795	236	173	49	14
2760	The therapy boa thing doesn't seem to be working.	1.3263	0.03699	236	171	53	12
2761	I'll step out for a moment while you undress. Just put on that gown there.	1.3263	0.03889	236	175	45	16
2762	I'm afraid you have a pretty serious boa obstruction.	1.3262	0.03680	233	168	54	11
2763	You're fine, but Freddy appears to have separation anxiety	1.3262	0.03923	233	173	44	16
2764	Mr. Cecil, I’m not Dr. Dolittle. I’m your primary care physician.	1.3261	0.03812	230	168	49	13
2765	Next time the snake says don't eat the apple, I'd suggest listening.	1.3261	0.04146	230	175	35	20
2766	No, COBRA doesn't cover boa removal.	1.3261	0.03911	230	170	45	15
2767	So, this all started with needing a hug.	1.3261	0.03762	230	167	51	12
2768	Perhaps a less clinging support animal would be applicable.	1.3260	0.03946	227	168	44	15
2769	This should get rid of that frog in your throat.	1.3260	0.04043	227	170	40	17
2770	Don't worry, I am pretty sure your chest pains are not heart related.	1.3259	0.03880	224	164	47	13
2771	I'll just stand over here, if you don't mind.	1.3259	0.03668	224	160	55	9
2772	I'll be back to talk once my assistant finishes with your blood pressure.	1.3259	0.03880	224	164	47	13
2773	I still can't believe Samuel Jackson slept through your entire flight.	1.3258	0.03573	267	196	55	16
2774	Good news, the tests were all negative.	1.3258	0.03916	221	162	46	13
2775	This treatment gets you used to dealing with health insurance...	1.3258	0.03679	264	196	50	18
2776	Your therapy python seems to have turned on you.	1.3258	0.03600	264	194	54	16
2777	I suggest an elimination diet. Let’s start with Apples.	1.3257	0.04160	218	164	37	17
2778	So Monty, what has you rattled today?	1.3257	0.03668	261	193	51	17
2779	So this helps with the constipation problem?	1.3257	0.03628	261	192	53	16
2780	This is the New Cervical Collar -- Just don't forget to feed it.	1.3256	0.04303	215	164	32	19
2781	Mr Boa, I’ll give the guy a muscle relaxant so he goes down easier.	1.3256	0.03738	258	192	48	18
2782	I'm afraid you have the Full Python	1.3255	0.03769	255	190	47	18
2783	Mr. Python, I am afraid we will have to remove your Monty	1.3255	0.03889	255	193	41	21
2784	So you feel a tightening in your chest? Any other symptoms?	1.3255	0.03769	255	190	47	18
2785	So your chest has been constricted since Saturday?	1.3255	0.03686	255	188	51	16
2786	We're going to have to run a few more tests.	1.3255	0.03727	255	189	49	17
2787	I might be able to squeeze you in on Thursday.	1.3254	0.03715	252	186	50	16
2788	So, describe what you’re feeling right now.	1.3254	0.03715	252	186	50	16
2789	It says here you’re experiencing a tightness in your chest.	1.3254	0.04066	209	154	42	13
2790	And when did the chest pains start?	1.3253	0.03873	249	187	43	19
2791	I cant really examine you unless you're willing to take off everything, Mr. Johnson.	1.3253	0.03658	249	182	53	14
2792	Congratulations, it says 120 over 80.	1.3253	0.03746	249	184	49	16
2793	It says here you identify as a rabbit	1.3252	0.03949	246	186	40	20
2794	No, I don't think its asthma.	1.3251	0.03853	243	181	45	17
2795	It's PETA I'm most worried about.	1.3251	0.03764	243	179	49	15
2796	Good news! The tests show he's non-venomous.	1.3251	0.03719	243	178	51	14
2797	As a vet, I assure you your snake is fine.	1.3251	0.03809	243	180	47	16
2798	How long have you been, as you say, feeling tight in the chest?	1.3251	0.03719	243	178	51	14
2799	And your ex-spouse's name is Eve, correct?	1.3250	0.03887	240	179	44	17
2800	Why did you come to the podiatrist?	1.3250	0.03931	240	180	42	18
2801	OK Garden of Eden. Are you married Adam?	1.3250	0.03931	240	180	42	18
2802	I think I can squeeze you in.	1.3249	0.03637	237	171	55	11
2803	This will get you a muscle relaxer for the snake. You'll have to get someone with hands to administer it.	1.3248	0.03814	234	172	48	14
2804	Don’t worry, it’s not poisonous.	1.3248	0.03717	234	170	52	12
2805	Why don’t you take your snake off and we’ll start the exam?	1.3248	0.03814	234	172	48	14
2806	I have no issues with cross dressing, but I think you wanted a feathered boa.	1.3248	0.04092	234	178	36	20
2807	By any chance, do you have a wife named Eve?	1.3248	0.03909	234	174	44	16
2808	Ah yes, I see we have you scheduled for your hissterectomy.	1.3247	0.03992	231	173	41	17
2809	I'm going to refer you to one of my peers, St Patrick	1.3247	0.04038	231	174	39	18
2810	I said calorie restriction Keith,not boa constriction.	1.3247	0.03992	231	173	41	17
2811	Ereptile dysfunction is a psychological, not medical, condition.	1.3247	0.03847	231	170	47	14
2812	No, no, it’s not poisonous, so just be patient and it will fall off on its own at some point.	1.3246	0.03442	268	194	61	13
2813	It says here it's the third time this year.	1.3246	0.03600	268	198	53	17
2814	Are you feeding him enough?	1.3246	0.04076	228	172	38	18
2815	and any shortness of breath?	1.3244	0.03967	225	167	43	15
2816	Well, we can rule out a heart attack.	1.3244	0.03866	225	165	47	13
2817	So ..shortness of breath and tightness in your chest, I'm going to recommend you get an EKG.	1.3244	0.03917	225	166	45	14
2818	So how was your trip to the Amazon?	1.3244	0.03762	225	163	51	11
2819	Any constrictions?	1.3244	0.03576	262	192	55	15
2820	The good news is that when he sheds his skin, he will loosen up a little.	1.3244	0.03656	262	194	51	17
2821	Could you be more specific than “ tightness in the chest”	1.3244	0.03736	262	196	47	19
2822	On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst constriction of your life, how would you rate your constriction?	1.3244	0.03656	262	194	51	17
2823	I can find nothing physically wrong with Ivan. What we have here is a severe case of separation anxiety.	1.3243	0.03561	259	189	56	14
2824	Aside from being a little short-winded, how do you feel?	1.3243	0.03630	222	158	56	8
2825	It appears her separation anxiety has worsened.	1.3242	0.03715	256	190	49	17
2826	It’s a bit hard to swallow, isn’t it.	1.3242	0.03715	256	190	49	17
2827	The good news is that he does seem fond of you...	1.3242	0.03774	219	158	51	10
2828	You're fine, but your friend needs a colonoscopy.	1.3242	0.04194	219	166	35	18
2829	I wasn’t able to listen to your lungs, but you show signs of constricted breathing.	1.3242	0.03829	219	159	49	11
2830	Says here that you are experiencing some tightness in your chest.	1.3241	0.03617	253	185	54	14
2831	When did you first notice the tightening in your chest?	1.3241	0.03869	253	191	42	20
2832	I'm writing you a prescription for 10 mice, twice per day. If it doesn't clear up in two weeks, we'll up the dose.	1.3241	0.03745	253	188	48	17
2833	There's no good way to tell you this, but Mr. Slithers has developed a heart murmur.	1.3241	0.03828	253	190	44	19
2834	I've prescribed a new muscle relaxant for you	1.3241	0.03660	253	186	52	15
2835	I don't think this was the boa you were supposed to wear.	1.3241	0.03745	253	188	48	17
2836	I think I can explain that feeling of tightness in your chest.	1.3241	0.03973	216	159	44	13
2837	Blink once if your experiencing any shortness of breath.	1.3240	0.03860	250	188	43	19
2838	Describe the severity on a scale of one to ten.	1.3240	0.03818	250	187	45	18
2839	First and foremost Mr. Hanover, do not completely exhale	1.3239	0.03720	247	182	50	15
2840	That constriction can probably be eased with a mouse or two.	1.3239	0.03893	247	186	42	19
2841	It's just a hissy fit, nothing to worry about.	1.3239	0.03851	247	185	44	18
2842	I don't know what the problem is, your labs look fine.	1.3238	0.03796	244	181	47	16
2843	We're seeing a lot of this going around.	1.3238	0.03751	244	180	49	15
2844	Frankly, I don't think he likes it one bit either.	1.3237	0.03792	207	148	51	8
2845	Yes, tightness in the chest can be an indicator of a heart attack, but I'd like to run some tests first.	1.3237	0.03873	241	180	44	17
2846	Maybe you shouldn't have felt so entitled to the apple.	1.3237	0.04005	241	183	38	20
2847	Let's wait for your blood test results before we conclude what the problem might be .	1.3237	0.03873	241	180	44	17
2848	Trouble breathing, you say?	1.3237	0.03828	241	179	46	16
2849	I'm afraid we don't have time to address your erectile dysfunction at this visit.	1.3237	0.03961	241	182	40	19
2850	So it says here you've been feeling tightness in your chest. Any idea what could be causing it?	1.3235	0.03768	238	175	49	14
2851	Yes, I wrote the emotional support animal letter for the peacock lady.	1.3235	0.03673	238	173	53	12
2852	When did you first notice this?	1.3234	0.03627	269	200	51	18
2853	No, it’s a phone number for an agent of novelty acts.	1.3234	0.03895	235	175	44	16
2854	Any family history of reptile codependency?	1.3233	0.03617	266	197	52	17
2855	No, not COBRA. Do you by chance have a PYTHON plan?	1.3233	0.03833	232	171	47	14
2856	Now, about this squeezing sensation you're feeling in your chest. Could you be a bit more descriptive?	1.3233	0.03882	232	172	45	15
2857	So, other than a tightening in your chest, what other symptoms are you experiencing?	1.3233	0.03784	232	170	49	13
2858	The police report says it was an amphibious assault, but actually it's a reptile.	1.3232	0.03645	263	195	51	17
2859	Nothing serious - just a mild case of the grippe.	1.3231	0.03664	229	165	54	10
2860	And exactly when did you lose feeling in your arms?	1.3231	0.03867	229	169	46	14
2861	We have a guest performing your colonoscopy today.	1.3231	0.04200	229	176	32	21
2862	So, it says here you've had a tightening feeling in your chest and shortness of breath. We'll do an EKG today and I'd like you to come back next week for a stress test.	1.3231	0.03916	229	170	44	15
2863	So, how long have you had this human invading your private space?	1.3231	0.03633	260	192	52	16
2864	She’s never gotten so attached to a patient!	1.3230	0.03641	226	162	55	9
2865	Don't you think that its finally time to admit that you've taken this entire "Don't Tread on Me" thing just a bit too far?	1.3230	0.04099	226	171	37	18
2866	I’ ll check your blood pressure after you’ve unwound a bit	1.3230	0.03577	257	188	55	14
2867	Is this a preexisting condition?	1.3230	0.03824	257	194	43	20
2868	So, I see in the notes you really don’t like getting your prostate checked...	1.3230	0.03620	257	189	53	15
2869	First we'll run an expensive battery of tests to see if we can pin point that tightness in your chest you're experiencing.	1.3230	0.03703	257	191	49	17
2870	Your theatrics for painkillers are starting to get out of hand.	1.3229	0.04186	223	170	34	19
2871	'Tightness in the neck, other than that, all good?"	1.3228	0.03856	254	192	42	20
2872	He gives much more detailed results than our CAT scan.	1.3227	0.03974	220	163	43	14
2873	Yes eventually we will get to the exam but history is the key to diagnosis...is it a stabbing pain or more of a tight squeezing sensation?	1.3227	0.03677	251	185	51	15
2874	You were right to come in	1.3227	0.03805	251	188	45	18
2875	Any pain or discomfort?	1.3227	0.03969	251	192	37	22
2876	I'm worried about those feet of yours. They may not be getting proper blood circulation.	1.3227	0.03545	251	182	57	12
2877	Yes, it counts as a pre-existing condition. It takes months to digest someone your size.	1.3227	0.03805	251	188	45	18
2878	He’s doing fine Mr. Blum, but next time you might want to bring him in a pet carrier.	1.3227	0.03721	251	186	49	16
2879	It says here you've been having difficulty breathing.	1.3227	0.03616	282	212	49	21
2880	OK. So, first date, and you thought she said "Pie-A-Thon"...	1.3226	0.03663	248	182	52	14
2881	I'm sorry, I can't examine you until you take off that snake.	1.3226	0.03794	248	185	46	17
2882	Now, about that hissing sound that you keep hearing...	1.3226	0.03794	248	185	46	17
2883	No pets in the exam room, sir.	1.3226	0.04168	217	164	36	17
2884	Some muscle relaxant should help it unwind	1.3225	0.03525	276	204	55	17
2885	Take aspirin, drink plenty of fluids, get some rest, and call a herpetologist if there's no improvement.	1.3224	0.03410	245	174	63	8
2886	It's just a temporary crush.	1.3224	0.03693	245	180	51	14
2887	Personally, I'd rethink this whole therapy snake thing.	1.3224	0.03738	245	181	49	15
2888	You're welcome to a second opinion but I'm fairly certain that Buttercup's symptoms are showing all the signs of separation anxiety.	1.3224	0.04209	214	162	35	17
2889	So, it looks like "Python for Dummies" didn't work out so well.	1.3223	0.03772	273	208	42	23
2890	What can I help you with today?	1.3223	0.03723	242	178	50	14
2891	As your medical doctor my advice is that we tell the HMO this as an emotional support animal and monitor the co-pay closely."	1.3223	0.04144	211	158	38	15
2892	You think you're squeezed now, wait until you get my bill.	1.3222	0.03765	270	205	43	22
2893	I prescribe a small dog.	1.3222	0.03563	239	172	57	10
2894	So the only thing that brings you in today is a cold?	1.3222	0.03982	239	181	39	19
2895	So, describe your symptoms.	1.3222	0.03513	239	171	59	9
2896	I think you might feel less constricted with a feather boa.	1.3222	0.03893	239	179	43	17
2897	Gobble two mice and call me in the morning	1.3220	0.03739	236	173	50	13
2898	Yes, it's been going around a lot.	1.3220	0.03973	236	178	40	18
2899	Well can you blame him? You hurt his feelings when you called Trump a snake.	1.3220	0.03927	236	177	42	17
2900	As soon as we get that co-pay cleared up, I can deal with your first concern.	1.3220	0.03641	236	171	54	11
2901	You passed your stress test.	1.3220	0.04150	236	182	32	22
2902	Your blood pressure is a bit high... are you experiencing undo stress?	1.3220	0.03834	236	175	46	15
2903	Visited any tropical countries recently?	1.3220	0.03881	236	176	44	16
2904	I recommend you stick to a diet of the smaller mammals.	1.3220	0.03881	236	176	44	16
2905	In the past thirty days, have you traveled to Brazil?	1.3220	0.03690	236	172	52	12
2906	When you were told you would look good in a boa. . .	1.3220	0.03973	236	178	40	18
2907	How is the Pet Therapy working for you?	1.3220	0.03834	236	175	46	15
2908	Ordinarily, crushing chest pain and difficulty breathing would indicate a heart problem...	1.3219	0.03721	233	170	51	12
2909	I'm sure the casting director didn't think she'd need to specify 'feather' boa.	1.3219	0.04145	233	179	33	21
2910	So, Mr. Hanna, what would you like to discuss with me today? '	1.3219	0.03868	233	173	45	15
2911	Your blood pressure's still too high, so we're going to run a few more tests.	1.3219	0.03771	233	171	49	13
2912	And don’t take any more apples from this thing.	1.3218	0.03661	261	194	50	17
2913	One of you have separation anxiety.	1.3218	0.03580	261	192	54	15
2914	Giving a snake an apple has always been a bad idea.	1.3217	0.03998	230	173	40	17
2915	Were you sorted into Slytherin?	1.3217	0.03950	230	172	42	16
2916	So you say this happened shortly after you ate an apple.	1.3217	0.03998	230	173	40	17
2917	I'm afraid that's not covered.	1.3217	0.03702	230	167	52	11
2918	I'm still going to need you to fully disssssrobe.	1.3217	0.03480	258	187	59	12
2919	We haven't seen a case of the grippe this bad in quite some time.	1.3216	0.03887	227	168	45	14
2920	Hard to breathe, tightness in the chest, sounds like you might have a slight cold.	1.3216	0.04270	227	176	29	22
2921	Candidly, the bill is probably going to squeeze you more than this snake.	1.3216	0.03720	255	190	48	17
2922	Adderall is the name of the drug,not the dosage.	1.3216	0.03636	255	188	52	15
2923	I can see that there is clearly an attachment issue here.	1.3216	0.03802	255	192	44	19
2924	Let me clarify what I meant by Hug Therapy.	1.3216	0.03761	255	191	46	18
2925	Your insurance insists it’s a preconstrictor condition, so they won’t cover it.	1.3214	0.03665	252	186	51	15
2926	My wife wears a boa...	1.3214	0.03923	224	166	44	14
2927	Your insurance still doesn't recognize him as a dependent.	1.3214	0.03923	224	166	44	14
2928	And when did you first notice the python?	1.3214	0.03871	224	165	46	13
2929	Now please give me your comfort animal... and put on your examination gown.	1.3214	0.03665	252	186	51	15
2930	So how long have you two been together?	1.3214	0.03750	252	188	47	17
2931	On the plus side, nobody will notice that nasty psoriasis anymore.	1.3214	0.03834	252	190	43	19
2932	Let's start by testing your knee reflexes.	1.3213	0.03695	249	184	50	15
2933	We usually treat it with snake oil....	1.3213	0.03738	249	185	48	16
2934	Have you tried Viagra?	1.3213	0.03781	249	186	46	17
2935	You need to take a vacation and unwind.	1.3213	0.03695	249	184	50	15
2936	I'm afraid you'll need to be on a constricted diet for awhile.	1.3213	0.03606	249	182	54	13
2937	You'll feel a little pressure	1.3213	0.03800	221	161	49	11
2938	Besides a shortness of breath and feeling a tightness in the chest do you have any other concerns?	1.3213	0.04061	221	166	39	16
2939	The good news is, we've almost ruled out a heart attack.	1.3211	0.03769	246	183	47	16
2940	Many folks find that dogs provide great emotional support.	1.3211	0.03680	246	181	51	14
2941	Apart from your recent high blood pressure, I don’t see any other health issues.	1.3211	0.03589	246	179	55	12
2942	And how long have you had this tightness in your chest?	1.3211	0.04151	218	165	36	17
2943	That's nothing. The last patient came in here with a giraffe stuck up his ass.	1.3210	0.03566	271	201	53	17
2944	Okay, we’ll run a few tests, but most of the time chest pain like this is attributable to heartburn.	1.3210	0.03890	243	183	42	18
2945	'I see Eve has joined #MeToo'	1.3210	0.03976	243	185	38	20
2946	Any family history of constriction?	1.3210	0.03801	243	181	46	16
2947	Would you describe the chest pain as similar to an elephant sitting on your chest?	1.3210	0.03846	243	182	44	17
2948	When did you realize that your snake skin jacket was alive?	1.3210	0.03710	243	179	50	14
2949	Do you have any pre existing conditions?	1.3210	0.03846	243	182	44	17
2950	Yeah, there's a lot of this going around.	1.3209	0.03310	268	192	66	10
2951	I don't even need google for this one.	1.3208	0.03695	240	176	51	13
2952	So Eve's not so happy with Eden?	1.3208	0.03834	240	179	45	16
2953	"I don't normally fill out a patient's paperwork for them, but I guess I have to make an exception in your case."	1.3208	0.03599	240	174	55	11
2954	Well... after several tests I’m afraid that you have a human growing out of your ass.	1.3208	0.03923	240	181	41	18
2955	Call me in two weeks if things don't loosen up.	1.3208	0.03400	240	170	63	7
2956	Well, Adam from Eden ... tell me how this all started.	1.3208	0.03923	240	181	41	18
2957	Your labs all came back normal, but your blood pressure appears quite elevated.	1.3207	0.03913	237	178	42	17
2958	So this constricting feeling, is it continual or intermittent?	1.3205	0.03853	234	174	45	15
2959	You say your chest feels constricted?	1.3205	0.03948	234	176	41	17
2960	I see a slight digestive inconvenience in the future, but fortunately it's not your problem.	1.3205	0.03658	234	170	53	11
2961	I suspect it’s a circulation problem.	1.3205	0.03757	234	172	49	13
2962	How long have you been feeling a tightness in your chest?	1.3205	0.03637	259	192	51	16
2963	There’s a thirty dollar copay for an unwinding.	1.3205	0.03719	259	194	47	18
2964	It will unwrap when you tell him that he's no longer giving you joy.	1.3205	0.03719	259	194	47	18
2965	Yes, as a matter of fact, this is my first certification of an emotional support snake.	1.3205	0.03719	259	194	47	18
2966	Somtimes getting too close to an emotional support animal can be dangerous.	1.3203	0.03888	231	172	44	15
2967	It's going around . . . and around . . . and around.	1.3203	0.03983	231	174	40	17
2968	I'm writing you a prescription for snake oil.	1.3203	0.03789	231	170	48	13
2969	It's symbiotic. You get a snakeskin coat, and he gets legs.	1.3203	0.03749	256	192	46	18
2970	I'm going to recommend a herpetologist.	1.3203	0.03708	256	191	48	17
2971	Yeah, that 'apple a day' advice doesn't really work.	1.3203	0.03666	256	190	50	16
2972	I'm sorry, but as a Pediatrician I'm only familiar with rattlers	1.3202	0.04067	228	173	37	18
2973	The good news is that constricting feeling you have experienced - is probably not a mental condition.	1.3202	0.03873	228	169	45	14
2974	Have you visited any jungles or rain forests in the last three months	1.3202	0.03695	253	188	49	16
2975	I had to squeeze you in at the last minute.	1.3202	0.03738	253	189	47	17
2976	Good try, but the snake we use goes inside of you.	1.3202	0.03738	253	189	47	17
2977	Animal assisted therapy does have its limits.	1.3202	0.03738	253	189	47	17
2978	Congrats on the new yacht, but next time I’d recommend disabling autocorrect before requesting another “boat contractor”.	1.3201	0.03788	278	214	39	25
2979	Your blood pressure's fairly high. Any family history of hypertension?	1.3200	0.03712	275	209	44	22
2980	Side effects of this treatment may include sudden chest pains, shortness of breath, cardiac arrhythmia, dizziness or fainting, circulatory irregularities, difficulty in passing stools, excessive sweating, easy bruising, and immediate weight gain.	1.3200	0.03768	250	187	46	17
2981	Do you feel safe in your relationship?	1.3200	0.03768	250	187	46	17
2982	Feeling a bit constricted?	1.3199	0.03555	272	202	53	17
2983	A little snake oil should clear that right up.	1.3199	0.03555	272	202	53	17
2984	Have you tried walking it off?"	1.3198	0.03712	247	183	49	15
2985	He won't start to constrict if you pay in advance	1.3198	0.03891	222	164	45	13
2986	Ignoring the chest constrictions for a moment, are you experiencing any pain in your left arm?	1.3198	0.03891	222	164	45	13
2987	I'm not an asp doctor, I'm a proctologist.	1.3198	0.04242	222	171	31	20
2988	According to the boa, your blood pressure is a little high.	1.3197	0.03743	244	181	48	15
2989	Your health is fine, Jack, but you seem a little tightly wound.	1.3197	0.03698	244	180	50	14
2990	Under your plan, I can only help you if it's lasted more than four hours.	1.3195	0.03610	266	198	51	17
2991	I’m going to recommend a really good charmer.	1.3195	0.03530	266	196	55	15
2992	I believe a trip to the Everglades will take care of it.	1.3195	0.03865	241	181	43	17
2993	The good news is the EKG shows the tightness in your chest is not a heart problem.	1.3195	0.03682	241	177	51	13
2994	‘So, what are you here for?’	1.3195	0.03820	241	180	45	16
2995	....are you feeling any other symptoms?	1.3195	0.03774	241	179	47	15
2996	When would you say you started having shortness of breath?	1.3195	0.03865	241	181	43	17
2997	Your systolic is off the charts	1.3195	0.03682	241	177	51	13
2998	Hmm. That little pimple on your nose should be looked at.	1.3194	0.03909	216	159	45	12
2999	And, how's your breathing?	1.3194	0.03677	263	197	48	18
3000	You might experience some slight discomfort at first, but this should take care of the snoring.	1.3194	0.03474	263	192	58	13
3001	I see you've met our new collections specialist.	1.3193	0.03853	238	178	44	16
3002	So, tell me--how long have you been together?	1.3193	0.03807	238	177	46	15
3003	So. . . Shortness of breath, sudden weight gain—how long since your last checkup?	1.3192	0.03746	260	196	45	19
3004	The good news, it's not so much herpes as it is herpetology."	1.3192	0.03863	260	199	39	22
3005	The tests are all normal...is there anything else you have concerns about?	1.3192	0.03825	260	198	41	21
3006	I'd suggest one small rodent a day: live is best. Your snake will be fine!	1.3191	0.03744	235	173	49	13
3007	Well, I think you should have listened to your wife, Eve.	1.3191	0.03933	235	177	41	17
3008	OK, so a feeling of tightness in your chest. Any other concerns today?	1.3191	0.03933	235	177	41	17
3009	And how would you rate your pain?	1.3191	0.03817	257	195	42	20
3010	Worst case of ringworm I've ever seen.	1.3191	0.03612	257	190	52	15
3011	What seems to be your problem??	1.3190	0.03921	232	174	42	16
3012	The good news is that the growth is benign	1.3189	0.03465	254	184	59	11
3013	I think 5 days of anti-boatics will fix you up, Mr. Schmidt.	1.3189	0.03725	254	190	47	17
3014	Just a few more tests, I think we'll have a handle on what's causing your shortness of breath.	1.3188	0.03404	276	202	60	14
3015	Turns out it actually was a python in your pocket.	1.3188	0.04357	207	159	30	18
3016	Usually this tight feeling in your chest could be heart-related, but we’ll need to do some more tests	1.3188	0.04052	229	174	37	18
3017	I understand these visits can be stressful, its good you brought your emotional support animal	1.3188	0.04005	229	173	39	17
3018	Well, the good news is, you don't have COPD.	1.3187	0.03713	251	187	48	16
3019	Ok. We need to have a serious conversation about “eREPTILE-dysfunction”	1.3187	0.03839	251	190	42	19
3020	Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to feel short of breath in your situation.	1.3187	0.03582	251	184	54	13
3021	It says you're feeling a bit constricted ?	1.3187	0.03582	251	184	54	13
3022	I'm going to need to refer you to a specialisssssssssssssst.	1.3186	0.03943	226	169	42	15
3023	So, I see here that you can't turn and cough.	1.3186	0.03943	226	169	42	15
3024	It's a simple case of a constricted bowel. And after surgery, we can make you a nice set of boots.	1.3186	0.04278	226	176	28	22
3025	Just when did you start having problems swallowing?	1.3185	0.03787	248	186	45	17
3026	Have you visited a tropical area?	1.3185	0.03610	248	182	53	13
3027	....and you mentioned shortness of breath	1.3185	0.03699	248	184	49	15
3028	The first few days are tough, but if you make it to the second week the pounds start to melt away.	1.3185	0.03532	270	200	54	16
3029	I’m surprised you weren’t able to charm your way out of this one!	1.3185	0.03243	292	212	67	13
3030	Your prognosis might be hard to digest.	1.3184	0.03824	223	164	47	12
3031	You should see significant weight loss within two to three weeks.	1.3184	0.03730	245	182	48	15
3032	Luckily we caught this early. Once they start to constrict our treatment options become limited.	1.3184	0.03546	245	178	56	11
3033	I’m prescribing you an emotional support mouse, see if that helps you breathe easier in stressful situations	1.3184	0.03774	245	183	46	16
3034	Senator, you're no Lady Gaga.	1.3184	0.03730	245	182	48	15
3035	I said, 'restrict' not 'constrict'.	1.3184	0.03730	245	182	48	15
3036	I noticed this has been going around.	1.3184	0.03639	245	180	52	13
3037	I'm going to prescribe an oil I think may help.	1.3182	0.03622	242	177	53	12
3038	As your snake's veterinarian, I'm giving you a potent neurotoxin that will slowly render you defenseless.	1.3182	0.04025	242	186	35	21
3039	Bad news - only "in-network" herpetologists are covered under your medical insurance policy.	1.3182	0.04110	242	188	31	23
3040	Tell me more about this shortness of breath	1.3182	0.04017	220	165	40	15
3041	But is anything else bothering you?	1.3182	0.03939	242	184	39	19
3042	No need to worry, it's not poisonous.	1.3182	0.03669	242	178	51	13
3043	I don't think you can blame this on climate change, Mr. Pierce.	1.3182	0.03715	242	179	49	14
3044	Let's not rush to a conclusion. Breathing difficulties can have many causes. How have you been coping with stress lately?	1.3182	0.03545	264	195	54	15
3045	I'm referring you to a veterinarian, he'll help your pet unwind"	1.3182	0.03669	242	178	51	13
3046	I'm afraid this is outside my purview. But I strongly recommend couples counseling for you and Eve	1.3182	0.03982	242	185	37	20
3047	Now exhale...	1.3182	0.03545	264	195	54	15
3048	I'm positive that your crushing chest pain is not due to a myocardial infarction. Your mental health is a different matter.	1.3180	0.03734	261	197	45	19
3049	You say you feel like you're being crushed to death by a python?	1.3180	0.03654	261	195	49	17
3050	And would you say you’re experiencing any work-related pressure or strain?	1.3180	0.03654	261	195	49	17
3051	This wasn't what I had in mind when I told you to get a support animal.	1.3180	0.03613	261	194	51	16
3052	Personally, I think the constriction diet is a fad.	1.3180	0.03613	261	194	51	16
3053	Blood pressure monitoring sales reps went on strike, so we’re improvising.	1.3180	0.03746	239	177	48	14
3054	Are you certain this is the same snake that bit you?	1.3180	0.03885	239	180	42	17
3055	Your insurance company requires that I refer you to a snake charmer before we schedule the serpentectomy, and there aren't many in-network.	1.3180	0.03930	239	181	40	18
3056	First, I'm obliged to ask if you'd be willing to take part in a clinical trial for a new drug that treats patients with your condition.	1.3178	0.03600	258	191	52	15
3057	And when did you first notice the problem...	1.3178	0.03826	236	176	45	15
3058	I'm afraid I'll have to refer you to a specialist. Humans are quite difficult to get rid of.	1.3178	0.03778	236	175	47	14
3059	These special socks should help.	1.3178	0.03930	214	158	44	12
3060	Any change at home or work that accompanied your chest tightness?	1.3177	0.03316	277	201	64	12
3061	So, the nurse tells me you are having trouble breathing.	1.3176	0.03713	255	191	47	17
3062	I'm guessing this is not a pre-existing condition?	1.3176	0.03662	233	170	52	11
3063	Do you have any pets?	1.3176	0.03762	233	172	48	13
3064	And for about how long have you've experienced this tightness in the chest?	1.3176	0.04092	233	179	34	20
3065	Look, just because you have access to WebMD doesn’t mean you know what’s going on here..	1.3176	0.03859	233	174	44	15
3066	Last time it was that orangutang hanging on your neck—problem seems to be getting worse.	1.3176	0.03859	233	174	44	15
3067	I'm recommending that you see a herpetologist.	1.3176	0.03662	233	170	52	11
3068	This should resolve on its own.	1.3176	0.03811	233	173	46	14
3069	Frankly I think you should try to relax more and not be so wound up!	1.3175	0.03700	252	188	48	16
3070	Aside from that, how did you like the Reptile House?	1.3175	0.03480	252	183	58	11
3071	Good new Mr. Goldbaum, the tests are back and its not poisonous.	1.3175	0.03700	252	188	48	16
3072	No sign of poison.Come back if it bites you	1.3175	0.03700	252	188	48	16
3073	So...the snake needs a shot.	1.3174	0.03893	230	172	43	15
3074	Are you sure you haven't traveled to any remote or exotic locations in the last six months?	1.3174	0.03535	230	165	57	8
3075	You’re my first patient on my first day of residency. I’d call that serpent-dipity, wouldn’t you?	1.3173	0.03442	271	199	58	14
3076	You say you can’t lift your arms anymore.	1.3173	0.04005	208	154	42	12
3077	You don't know what it's like to be squeezed by these insurance companies.	1.3173	0.03730	249	186	47	16
3078	Any unusual bowel movements?	1.3173	0.03982	249	192	35	22
3079	Trouble breathing?	1.3173	0.03643	249	184	51	14
3080	So you're feeling constricted. Could you be more specific?	1.3172	0.03928	227	170	42	15
3081	This is the newest non-surgical gastric bypass procedure.	1.3172	0.04122	227	174	34	19
3082	Everything looks pretty good but I recommend you see a specialist about that snake.	1.3171	0.03581	246	180	54	12
3083	And when exactly did you start feeling the constriction in your chest?	1.3171	0.03717	246	183	48	15
3084	Trouble swallowing, yes, anything else?	1.3171	0.03761	246	184	46	16
3085	Your running a fever of 101.6° and, not surprisingly, so is Ralph.	1.3170	0.03653	265	199	48	18
3086	I’m writing a prescription for a pair of pants.	1.3170	0.03493	265	195	56	14
3087	Have you been feeling under pressure lately?	1.3169	0.03748	243	181	47	15
3088	I’m going to proscribe three or four mice a day...	1.3169	0.03882	243	184	41	18
3089	I think I’ve discovered the cause of your crushing chest pains!	1.3169	0.03609	243	178	53	12
3090	I've told you before,stop using Google as your primary physician.	1.3169	0.03748	243	181	47	15
3091	She's more effective than leeches and you need only one.	1.3169	0.03702	243	180	49	14
3092	We’re ALL feeling the squeeze, Mr Patient.	1.3168	0.04203	202	152	36	14
3093	So, all wound up again?	1.3167	0.03790	221	162	48	11
3094	You may experience some shortness of breath.	1.3167	0.04102	221	168	36	17
3095	You're just having a hissy fit!	1.3167	0.04001	221	166	40	15
3096	A fig leaf would be less constraining	1.3167	0.03915	240	182	40	18
3097	Besides a shortness of breath, are you experiencing any other symptoms?	1.3167	0.03871	240	181	42	17
3098	We're going to have to do something about that blood pressure.	1.3167	0.03779	240	179	46	15
3099	Snake oil. If it doesn't help, don't worry. That's normal.	1.3167	0.03960	240	183	38	19
3100	And do you notice a rattle whenever you speak?	1.3167	0.03733	240	178	48	14
3101	I thought I was clear yesterday - the muscle relaxant is not for you.	1.3167	0.03960	240	183	38	19
3102	Personally, I prefer this method to gastric banding.	1.3167	0.03638	240	176	52	12
3103	Actually, you're the third person tonight who came in complaining about a problem with their pet boa constrictor; however, as luck would have it, you are the first who was still alive when I saw them.	1.3166	0.03711	259	195	46	18
3104	I think I can explain the weight gain and shortness of breadth.	1.3166	0.03630	259	193	50	16
3105	I'm going to prescribe a muscle relaxant for you and an antacid for your friend. One or both of you come back to see me in a week.	1.3165	0.03765	237	176	47	14
3106	Will I be needing to update your emergency contact?	1.3165	0.03950	237	180	39	18
3107	Aside from this, how was your Florida vacation?	1.3165	0.03717	237	175	49	13
3108	I don't think a probiotic's gonna help.	1.3165	0.03668	237	174	51	12
3109	Fang, skin, squeeze, all seem in perfect working order, Mr Snake.	1.3165	0.03570	237	172	55	10
3110	Call me if you feel any tightness in your chest.	1.3165	0.03717	237	175	49	13
3111	This will help your anxiety. Just bring the snake back when you're done.	1.3165	0.03765	237	176	47	14
3112	In general everything looks good but you'll have to excuse me if I don't check your prostate today.	1.3164	0.03658	256	191	49	16
3113	You're not the first guy who bought the wrong thing, when his wife asked him to buy her a boa.	1.3164	0.03616	256	190	51	15
3114	And here’s the last question. Are you allergic to anti-snake venom?	1.3162	0.03892	234	176	42	16
3115	I think we discovered the reason for your headaches and breathing difficulties.	1.3162	0.04031	234	179	36	19
3116	His attachment issues are, as you said, sssssssevere.	1.3162	0.03797	234	174	46	14
3117	Good news is you're only at stage one.	1.3162	0.03845	234	175	44	15
3118	Yeah, well, everyone is afraid of the scale.	1.3162	0.03645	253	188	50	15
3119	Still constipated?	1.3162	0.03935	253	195	36	22
3120	It seems the internet isn't the answer to all medical issues.	1.3160	0.03830	231	172	45	14
3121	No, I said aspirin, not put an asp on.	1.3160	0.04114	231	178	33	20
3122	Well, Mr. Philipps, the good news is you just have a little frog in your throat...	1.3160	0.04022	231	176	37	18
3123	It’s a common enough condition. I am going to prescribe a ten day supply of mice until it sheds you.	1.3160	0.03495	250	182	57	11
3124	This one is a little constricting but doesn't have that embarrassing opening in the back.	1.3160	0.03845	250	190	41	19
3125	I am going to need you to get fully undressed for the exam.	1.3160	0.03495	250	182	57	11
3126	Yes I've performed many hissterectomies before.	1.3160	0.03887	250	191	39	20
3127	Get this filled, and next time try using a feather boa	1.3160	0.03630	250	185	51	14
3128	I think I’ve discovered the problem.	1.3160	0.03586	250	184	53	13
3129	Blood pressure fine. I'll summon the colonoscopy weasel.	1.3160	0.03887	250	191	39	20
3130	So it says here that you're short of breath	1.3160	0.03928	250	192	37	21
3131	So, you have some tightness in your chest?	1.3160	0.03541	250	183	55	12
3132	I'm going to write you a referral to a herpetologist.	1.3160	0.03586	250	184	53	13
3133	It is really quite dangerous and it's just a matter of time before... well this is awkward... I see you have a DNR.	1.3160	0.03614	269	202	49	18
3134	I've written you a prescription for a muscle relaxer.	1.3158	0.03568	247	181	54	12
3135	So your wife asked you to wear a boa?	1.3158	0.03835	247	187	42	18
3136	I'll let you know when the cultures come back from the lab.	1.3158	0.03762	228	168	48	12
3137	Of course, we'll have to run a few more tests.....	1.3158	0.03568	247	181	54	12
3138	Other than shortness of breath, any other symptoms?	1.3158	0.03792	247	186	44	17
3139	I’m sorry, only service animals are allowed in the examination room	1.3158	0.03748	247	185	46	16
3140	On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is the slow cutoff of vital blood flow to your heart and brain?	1.3156	0.03670	263	198	47	18
3141	Chest tightness may be caused by a variety of conditions, Mr. Delaney. I suspect it's not a heart attack.	1.3156	0.03689	244	181	49	14
3142	You're fortunate the snake took the Valium. Here's another prescription.	1.3156	0.03597	244	179	53	12
3143	Your chart looks fine; elevated heart rate but that might just be the snake.	1.3156	0.03780	244	183	45	16
3144	Yep. The tests confirm it's a boa.	1.3156	0.03868	244	185	41	18
3145	It should go away naturally in a week or two.	1.3156	0.03597	244	179	53	12
3146	Lab results show the snake is not venomous.”	1.3156	0.03898	225	168	43	14
3147	...you heard correctly. But the snake takes the Viagra not you.	1.3156	0.04240	225	175	29	21
3148	I recommend you speak to Eve about this relationship.	1.3154	0.03411	279	206	58	15
3149	So how would you describe this tightness in your chest?	1.3154	0.03699	260	196	46	18
3150	I meant to say "some" pets will help you decompress.	1.3154	0.03577	260	193	52	15
3151	Your provider allows me to prescribe an asthma inhaler.	1.3154	0.03739	260	197	44	19
3152	I'm just glad you didn't consult Web MD about this.	1.3154	0.03720	241	179	48	14
3153	Your breathing is a bit constricted.	1.3154	0.03673	241	178	50	13
3154	I don't think your HMO covers " attempted strangulation by emotional support animal" .	1.3154	0.03901	241	183	40	18
3155	You're test results say that you're breathing is slightly constricted.	1.3154	0.03901	241	183	40	18
3156	We're going to run a few more tests to figure what's causing that tightness in your chest.	1.3153	0.03985	222	167	40	15
3157	I’m going to prescribe snake oil.	1.3153	0.03985	222	167	40	15
3158	I'm going to need you to sign this release form.	1.3153	0.04067	203	151	40	12
3159	So, you are saying you feel constricted?!	1.3152	0.03769	257	195	43	19
3160	I’m glad to see your temperatures back to normal but the nurse couldn’t find a pulse	1.3151	0.03751	238	177	47	14
3161	I know you are trying to save money, Mr. Jones, but when I suggested compression therapy, this isn't what I had in mind.	1.3151	0.03890	238	180	41	17
3162	Trust me. It’s herpes. I’m a herpetologist.	1.3151	0.03844	238	179	43	16
3163	I can't check your blood pressure, but your reflexes are good.	1.3151	0.03557	238	173	55	10
3164	And what did your primary care doctor say?	1.3151	0.03844	238	179	43	16
3165	If the snake doesn’t kill you, PETA probably will :(	1.3151	0.04023	219	165	39	15
3166	Don't worry -- it is not venomous	1.3151	0.03970	219	164	41	14
3167	Your test results came back positive.	1.3150	0.03546	254	187	54	13
3168	It's like a mammogram, only less painful.	1.3150	0.03633	254	189	50	15
3169	I'm just a doctor. You need a couples therapist.	1.3150	0.03717	254	191	46	17
3170	In order to complete your exam you will have to take your pyth off.	1.3150	0.03633	254	189	50	15
3171	When did you notice that your boa had lost its feathers?	1.3149	0.03925	235	178	40	17
3172	This time I will write the prescription more clearly, oil not coil.	1.3149	0.03831	235	176	44	15
3173	At some point we may want to move you off a constrictive diet.	1.3149	0.03735	235	174	48	13
3174	So, you were cleaning his enclosure while naked? That's interesting.	1.3147	0.03748	251	189	45	17
3175	No need to worry, says here he identifies as a rabbit.	1.3147	0.03574	251	185	53	13
3176	On the other hand, it could just be asthma, which is covered by your plan.	1.3147	0.03662	251	187	49	15
3177	We're thinking it might be a case of Coilitis.	1.3147	0.03529	251	184	55	12
3178	So you'd say your pain level is at about five?	1.3147	0.03618	251	186	51	14
3179	Well, let's wait and see what the blood test tells us.	1.3147	0.04007	232	177	37	18
3180	I respect your commitment to natural remedies, but an 'organic tourniquet' wasn't the best choice this time."	1.3146	0.03511	267	198	54	15
3181	Well, I was glad to be able to squeeze you in, but.....	1.3145	0.03735	248	186	46	16
3182	It's cancer.	1.3145	0.04030	248	193	32	23
3183	Go home, you’re fine.	1.3144	0.04091	229	176	34	19
3184	Good news Mr. Haast. We have ascertained the cause of your COPD symptoms as well as your anal leakage.	1.3144	0.03899	229	172	42	15
3185	If the prescription doesn't help, try mice.	1.3144	0.03849	229	171	44	14
3186	...and 50mg a day for viper-tension.	1.3144	0.03618	264	198	49	17
3187	Yes, Mr. Johnson, this should cure your constipation rather quickly.	1.3144	0.03497	264	195	55	14
3188	Good news. We've sold the movie rights.	1.3143	0.03810	245	185	43	17
3189	Well? Is it working?	1.3143	0.04141	210	159	36	15
3190	No, what I prescribed during your last visit was a "restrictive" diet.	1.3143	0.03676	245	182	49	14
3191	When did you first notice that your breathing felt constricted?	1.3143	0.03441	245	177	59	9
3192	... take one of these in the morning and one before bed and that should help you unwind.	1.3143	0.04029	210	157	40	13
3193	So, it says here you were complaining of a tightness in your chest? Tell me a little more about that.	1.3143	0.03584	245	180	53	12
3194	And when did you first notice this tightening in your chest?	1.3143	0.03810	245	185	43	17
3195	Try the snake oil.	1.3143	0.03766	245	184	45	16
3196	Your insurance may not cover this.	1.3143	0.04029	210	157	40	13
3197	He's a little tense. Give him two these and he will relax.	1.3142	0.03565	261	194	52	15
3198	She's a lot more clingy than I thought she'd be.	1.3142	0.03523	261	193	54	14
3199	As a veterinarian, all I can tell you is that the snake will be fine. Anything else you'll need a referral."	1.3140	0.03660	242	179	50	13
3200	So, tightness in the chest. Any other symptoms?	1.3140	0.03887	242	184	40	18
3201	So, that's "somewhat happy" with your emotional support snake?	1.3140	0.03707	242	180	48	14
3202	You know, these fad diets only work for a time	1.3140	0.03660	242	179	50	13
3203	Here is a prescription for some cold medicine, because no matter what happens, I don't want you to sneeze and startle him.	1.3140	0.03753	242	181	46	15
3204	We won't know until the test results come back, but it looks like a constricted artery.	1.3140	0.04069	207	155	39	13
3205	Time to remove your boa	1.3140	0.03757	258	196	43	19
3206	The ultrasound is indicating you may have a boa constriction, but I'd like to follow up with a thorough physical exam and barium enema.	1.3140	0.03716	258	195	45	18
3207	In this case, getting right back into the rat race will be exactly what you need.	1.3140	0.03592	258	192	51	15
3208	Now keep this eco-friendly torso brace on for 3 months or until it gets hungry.	1.3139	0.04120	223	171	34	18
3209	As I believe I mentioned, this experiemental weight loss protocol comes with certain risks.	1.3139	0.03488	274	204	54	16
3210	We should have your blood pressure information in just another minute or two."	1.3139	0.03411	274	202	58	14
3211	He has extreme separation anxiety if I leave him home alone.	1.3137	0.03621	255	190	50	15
3212	It appears that you are constricted.	1.3137	0.03908	255	197	36	22
3213	You definitely are constricted	1.3137	0.03705	255	192	46	17
3214	Mr. Burke, how long have you felt this tightness in your chest?	1.3136	0.04007	220	166	39	15
3215	For your hypertension, try getting less wrapped up in your work at the zoo.	1.3136	0.03817	236	177	44	15
3216	Alas, your plan does not cover preexisting conditions.	1.3136	0.03910	236	179	40	17
3217	The HMO requires us to try motivational interviewing first to show the snake the advantages of releasing you	1.3136	0.03910	236	179	40	17
3218	I think we can rule out claustrophobia.	1.3136	0.03864	236	178	42	16
3219	I’m prescribing one medium sized goat for tension and the hissing sound.	1.3135	0.03606	252	187	51	14
3220	As long as the head is pointing away from you, you'll be OK	1.3135	0.03606	252	187	51	14
3221	If you like your snake, you can keep your snake.	1.3135	0.03606	252	187	51	14
3222	She’s going to read your blood pressure.	1.3135	0.03777	252	191	43	18
3223	A muscle relaxer should do the trick.	1.3135	0.03562	252	186	53	13
3224	Sorry I can't be of more help. Like I said, I'm just an internist.	1.3134	0.03500	268	199	54	15
3225	Well, I have the medical degree, and I think it’s angina.	1.3134	0.04045	217	164	38	15
3226	As a new patient, I have a few forms for you to fill out...	1.3134	0.03938	217	162	42	13
3227	From personal experience I can tell you, just talk to him and he’ll loosen up.	1.3134	0.04045	217	164	38	15
3228	I can squeeze you in next Tuesday, but leave the snake at home.	1.3133	0.03753	233	173	47	13
3229	I think I've found the source of that hissing sound that's been bothering you.	1.3133	0.03653	233	171	51	11
3230	Technically I suppose this is a pre existing condition.	1.3133	0.03590	249	184	52	13
3231	Adam, which garden were you in when you ate that apple?	1.3133	0.03766	249	188	44	17
3232	This type of thing is going around	1.3133	0.03634	249	185	50	14
3233	Any trouble breathing?	1.3131	0.04030	214	161	39	14
3234	And any tightness in the chest?	1.3130	0.04028	230	176	36	18
3235	It's a real shame that the name 'asp'bergers syndrome is already taken	1.3130	0.03579	230	167	54	9
3236	I don’t think diet and exercise are going to do it this time.	1.3130	0.03735	230	170	48	12
3237	Take two asps and call me in the morning.	1.3130	0.03835	230	172	44	14
3238	A large dose of mongoose should clear it up.	1.3130	0.03709	246	184	47	15
3239	Don't worry. You do not have Caduseus syndrome. That would be with two serpents.	1.3130	0.03753	246	185	45	16
3240	I will write you a script for the shortness of breath, but you will need to see a specialist about the snake.	1.3130	0.03664	246	183	49	14
3241	The tests we ran are inconclusive.	1.3130	0.03572	246	181	53	12
3242	She told me to taste the fruit and the next thing I knew?	1.3130	0.03664	246	183	49	14
3243	I would say you have a have a case of coiltus interruptus.	1.3128	0.03873	243	185	40	18
3244	Sir, I had referred you to a "Hepatologist", not a "Herpetologist".	1.3128	0.03739	243	182	46	15
3245	Well, your blood pressure is up, but I think we found the cause.	1.3128	0.03829	243	184	42	17
3246	In your condition I think we'll try some good old fashioned snake oil.	1.3128	0.03829	243	184	42	17
3247	Are you feeling any tightness?	1.3127	0.03539	259	192	53	14
3248	So Adam, you say you've had this condition for what seems like an eternity?	1.3127	0.03704	259	196	45	18
3249	I'm afraid we have to run a few more tests.	1.3127	0.03622	259	194	49	16
3250	The good news is that, no, that crushing sensation doesn't mean you are having a heart attack!	1.3127	0.03622	259	194	49	16
3251	Could you be a bit more specific about your symptoms?	1.3125	0.04005	224	170	38	16
3252	I see you took my advice to "Apply pressure to wound" quite seriously.	1.3125	0.03581	240	176	53	11
3253	I’m sorry to inform you but you have a stage four snake.	1.3125	0.03617	272	206	47	19
3254	and you said you're just here for a check up today?	1.3125	0.03724	240	179	47	14
3255	I take it was your first time in the Amazon, right?	1.3125	0.03479	256	188	56	12
3256	So, you feel a tightening in your chest?	1.3125	0.04005	224	170	38	16
3257	Patients complained the drape sheet was too cold and revealing, so we're trying something new.	1.3125	0.03995	240	185	35	20
3258	No, the tightening in your chest is definitely not a heart attack.	1.3125	0.03817	240	181	43	16
3259	We're going to need a few more tests to determine the cause of your shortness of breath problem.	1.3125	0.03566	256	190	52	14
3260	I see you are experiencing some attachment issues with your emotional support anaconda?	1.3125	0.04055	224	171	36	17
3261	Besides pressure on your chest are there any other symptoms?	1.3125	0.03608	256	191	50	15
3262	So, first question... have you recently been on a vacation or business trip outside of the United States or Canada?	1.3125	0.03955	224	169	40	15
3263	I'm going to refer you to an excellent snake charmer.	1.3125	0.03734	256	194	44	18
3264	Sooooo, Mr. Plissken...What seems to be the problem?	1.3123	0.03927	253	196	35	22
3265	Come back if you start feeling any tightness in your chest.	1.3123	0.03594	253	188	51	14
3266	Your first mistake was naming him Monty.	1.3123	0.03847	253	194	39	20
3267	Well I can’t help with the snake, but I can give you something for the high blood pressure.	1.3123	0.03927	253	196	35	22
3268	I see here you're complaining of a tightness in your chest...	1.3123	0.03594	253	188	51	14
3269	Unfortunately, your insurance only covers snake bites.	1.3123	0.03722	253	191	45	17
3270	I’m prescribing a muscle relaxant; and in the meantime I would avoid stressful situations.	1.3122	0.03850	237	179	42	16
3271	If you won't undress, I can't tell if anything's wrong.	1.3122	0.03940	221	166	41	14
3272	Good news. The chest pain and shortness of breath you're experiencing is not a heart attack. It's an anaconda.	1.3122	0.03780	221	163	47	11
3273	Would it be fair to say he's developed an unhealthy attachment to you?	1.3122	0.03834	221	164	45	12
3274	That's not what I meant when I said keep some pressure on it.	1.3121	0.03343	282	208	60	14
3275	I think I have snake oil somewhere...	1.3120	0.03595	266	200	49	17
3276	Have you been taking the snake oil I prescribed for you?	1.3120	0.03555	266	199	51	16
3277	I'm prescribing you pills. As soon as you're able to swallow, take two a day.	1.3120	0.03577	250	185	52	13
3278	There are much easier ways to take care of constipation.	1.3120	0.03710	250	188	46	16
3279	Again Mr. Thompson ? Wait a sec, I just have to get the flute...	1.3120	0.03622	250	186	50	14
3280	Now, please run down your symptoms for me again.	1.3120	0.03739	234	174	47	13
3281	A little snake oil and the anaconda will slide right off.	1.3120	0.03788	234	175	45	14
3282	The good news is that I don't think the tightness in your chest is due to your heart. The bad news is....	1.3120	0.03640	234	172	51	11
3283	A couple hours a day for the blood pressure, and I'll see you in 6 months.	1.3120	0.03836	234	176	43	15
3284	Your arteries are constricted.	1.3120	0.03739	234	174	47	13
3285	Let’s lay off the Viagra until this thing clears up.	1.3120	0.03788	234	175	45	14
3286	So, Mr. Jones, what brings you in today?	1.3120	0.03836	234	176	43	15
3287	If the mice don't work I'll up the prescription to rats.	1.3119	0.04081	218	166	36	16
3288	Patients kept complaining about the open-back gowns, so we're trying something different.	1.3118	0.03582	263	197	50	16
3289	About that tightness in your chest, I am going to refer you to veterinarian.	1.3118	0.03702	263	200	44	19
3290	Then he said "Don't eat the apple".	1.3117	0.03740	247	186	45	16
3291	As you suspected, it's syphilis.	1.3117	0.03870	247	189	39	19
3292	Any changes in your medical history that I should be aware of?	1.3117	0.03651	247	184	49	14
3293	And how long have you been experiencing this shortness of breath?	1.3117	0.03740	247	186	45	16
3294	Mice and chicken diet seem to be working out ?	1.3117	0.03418	247	179	59	9
3295	I’ve got some crushing news for you. . .	1.3117	0.03821	231	173	44	14
3296	I said please undress, sir.	1.3116	0.04067	215	163	37	15
3297	You are not alone. Anaconda Syndrome is going around.	1.3115	0.03485	260	192	55	13
3298	So how long have you not been comfortable in your own skin?	1.3115	0.03651	260	196	47	17
3299	I Know. There's a lot of it going around.	1.3115	0.03860	244	186	40	18
3300	It’s one thing to embrace your fear of snakes, and quite another when your phobia embraces you.	1.3115	0.03635	244	181	50	13
3301	Yes, it could be sleep apnea, but I’m thinking along different lines here.	1.3115	0.03681	244	182	48	14
3302	You refused to eat the apple?	1.3114	0.03788	273	212	37	24
3303	This is the 3rd prescription I have written for a comfort snake this month.	1.3113	0.04107	212	161	36	15
3304	Your CT Scan indicates a constriction in your upper body area. We will need to keep an eye on you until we find the source of the problem.	1.3113	0.03762	257	196	42	19
3305	Any concerns with your emotional support animal?	1.3113	0.03842	257	198	38	21
3306	I see you're having shortness of breath. Any other symptoms?	1.3112	0.03757	241	181	45	15
3307	You seem to have an upper-respiratory problem	1.3112	0.03520	241	176	55	10
3308	Unfortunately, it has a Do Not Regurgitate...	1.3112	0.03664	241	179	49	13
3309	When did you first notice constriction in your chest and difficulty breathing?	1.3111	0.03889	225	169	42	14
3310	All right. I'll take you off the antihisssssstamines and we'll try something else.	1.3111	0.03990	225	171	38	16
3311	Congratulations on being a newbie to drag. However, in the future, you might consider wearing the feather kind of boa.	1.3111	0.04039	225	172	36	17
3312	So, tell me, how long have you had this tightness in your chest?	1.3111	0.03889	225	169	42	14
3313	Good news Mr. Slithers, you'll be good as new as soon as we get this human out.	1.3111	0.03838	225	168	44	13
3314	So if I have this right all you said was: “I don’t want a bite of the fruit I’m still full from lunch?”	1.3110	0.03625	254	190	49	15
3315	Hmm ... tight in the chest, short of breath ... we'd better have the cardiologist run some tests.	1.3110	0.03581	254	189	51	14
3316	I'm not going to prescribe anything right now, I just think you need to loosen up.	1.3110	0.03357	254	184	61	9
3317	It says here you’re experiencing difficulty in swallowing, a tightness in your chest and a compacted bowel... anything else?	1.3110	0.03581	254	189	51	14
3318	The X-Ray doesn't show anything.	1.3110	0.03667	254	191	47	16
3319	It says here that you've been out of the country recently, is that right?	1.3109	0.03836	238	180	42	16
3320	Safe sexual practices are for everyone, Phil.	1.3109	0.03742	238	178	46	14
3321	Being unfaithful to a professional snake charmer is clearly not a good idea!	1.3109	0.03742	238	178	46	14
3322	We’ve diagnosed the tightness in your chest.	1.3109	0.03742	238	178	46	14
3323	Yeah, we'll sort out your chest tightness with a few tests including an EKG, stress test, echocardiogram, chest CT, some blood work and have both our cardiologist and pulmonary people take a look at you.	1.3109	0.03646	238	176	50	12
3324	Well at least it’s not a elephant on your chest.	1.3108	0.03610	251	187	50	14
3325	When did you first start feeling rattled?	1.3108	0.03697	251	189	46	16
3326	If you can't sign the form, I'm afraid I can't treat you.	1.3108	0.03520	251	185	54	12
3327	Your chest sounds a little tight, Mr. Jones. Do you smoke?	1.3108	0.03697	251	189	46	16
3328	No, I don't think you have asthma.	1.3108	0.03740	251	190	44	17
3329	So, it says here, you're experiencing some tightness in your chest.	1.3108	0.03740	251	190	44	17
3330	The good news is, usually, it's not fatal	1.3107	0.03896	206	152	44	10
3331	Well, we’ve got the results of your colonoscopy.	1.3106	0.03726	235	175	47	13
3332	Generally, taking a bite from an apple does not cause this kind of constriction, but I suggest you avoid that Garden.	1.3106	0.03774	235	176	45	14
3333	Exactly how long have you been experiencing this numbness in your right toe?	1.3106	0.03726	235	175	47	13
3334	And the BAD news is,we found a Boa Constrictor.	1.3106	0.03651	264	200	46	18
3335	And finally, would you describe this as a pre-existing condition?	1.3106	0.03532	293	224	47	22
3336	Your cat scan was negative.	1.3105	0.03771	248	188	43	17
3337	Feed it a big, fat rat. That should release the pressure	1.3105	0.03593	248	184	51	13
3338	So, other than tightness in your chest, do you have any other complaints?	1.3105	0.03493	277	208	52	17
3339	I can squeeze you in...on Friday.	1.3103	0.03807	232	174	44	14
3340	I suppose you were your usual charming self.	1.3103	0.03515	261	194	53	14
3341	So your wife bought it for you as a present?	1.3103	0.03707	232	172	48	12
3342	Does it seem like the pressure is more in your chest or your back?	1.3103	0.03903	232	176	40	16
3343	Have you noticed a rattling sound?	1.3103	0.03557	261	195	51	15
3344	So the two aspirins didn't help?	1.3103	0.03757	232	173	46	13
3345	Bad news is you're both allergic to muscle relaxants.	1.3103	0.03807	232	174	44	14
3346	Sorry but compression bandages are not covered by your insurance policy so you will have to wear the snake until the swelling reduces.	1.3103	0.03707	232	172	48	12
3347	It says here you recently relocated with your wife from Eden.	1.3102	0.03932	245	189	36	20
3348	Are you feeling any shortness of breath ?	1.3102	0.03432	245	178	58	9
3349	I'm ordering an EKG and we'll see what's going on	1.3102	0.03846	245	187	40	18
3350	She may be your main squeeze, but I sense control issues.	1.3102	0.03713	245	184	46	15
3351	How long has your chest felt tight ?	1.3102	0.03846	245	187	40	18
3352	Next time you come to the vet, put the snake in a crate.	1.3101	0.03789	258	198	40	20
3353	...and, other than the tightness in your chest?	1.3101	0.03749	258	197	42	19
3354	This is the worst case of constipation that I have seen in all my years as a veterinarian.	1.3101	0.03626	258	194	48	16
3355	You’re blood pressure seems a little on the high side	1.3100	0.03687	229	169	49	11
3356	I've never had a patient actually ask me for snake oil...	1.3100	0.03987	229	175	37	17
3357	So that’s your main squeeze.	1.3100	0.03987	229	175	37	17
3358	I see you are feeling a bit constricted	1.3100	0.03584	271	205	48	18
3359	You’ll feel a little squeeze as we check your blood pressure.	1.3100	0.03467	271	202	54	15
3360	I noticed your cholesterol is a little high.	1.3100	0.03621	271	206	46	19
3361	That crushing chest pain - The good news it's not a heart attack.	1.3099	0.03604	242	179	51	12
3362	You have high blood pressure.	1.3099	0.03651	242	180	49	13
3363	With this certificate you'll have no more trouble taking your emotional support animal into family restrooms.	1.3099	0.03604	242	179	51	12
3364	I typically ask if you feel safe at home. I think I know the answer	1.3099	0.04197	213	164	32	17
3365	That's a big fuckin' snake	1.3098	0.03860	255	197	37	21
3366	The good news is your blood pressure has gone way down!	1.3098	0.03739	255	194	43	18
3367	He does seem clingy, but like I said, this is an issue for your therapist to take on.”	1.3098	0.03820	255	196	39	20
3368	Medically speaking, Mr. Breen, if you want to wear a boa, your best bet is a costume store, not the pet store.	1.3098	0.03612	255	191	49	15
3369	So, you ordered a snakeskin belt . . .	1.3098	0.03697	255	193	45	17
3370	Son, I'm afraid not all boas were meant to be worn.	1.3098	0.03482	255	188	55	12
3371	I'm afraid you have post-coiltil syndrome.	1.3097	0.04023	226	173	36	17
3372	So, which one of you is getting the prostate exam?	1.3097	0.04023	226	173	36	17
3373	He just has some separation anxiety.	1.3097	0.03874	226	170	42	14
3374	You say you have tightness in the chest? Any other symptoms?	1.3096	0.03822	239	181	42	16
3375	If you turndown your theremostat, she'll be less active.	1.3096	0.03633	239	177	50	12
3376	I’m writing you a prescription for a feather boa.	1.3096	0.03776	239	180	44	15
3377	Frankly, when you called I assumed that it was a feathered boa.	1.3096	0.03421	281	210	55	16
3378	Well, I’ve been able to rule out asthma as a source of your breathing difficulties.	1.3096	0.03566	281	214	47	20
3379	There’s nothing I can do and you’re going to die.	1.3095	0.04019	210	158	39	13
3380	Have you considered getting a cat?	1.3095	0.03641	252	189	48	15
3381	I think we'll try mongoose therapy	1.3094	0.03437	265	196	56	13
3382	It says here that you're having trouble breathing. We'll run some tests.	1.3094	0.03909	223	168	41	14
3383	And when did you begin to feel the tightness in your chest?	1.3094	0.03960	223	169	39	15
3384	Unfortunately sir, your insurance constricts what I can do for you.	1.3094	0.03909	223	168	41	14
3385	So just increase your fiber and Arnie will do the rest.	1.3094	0.04061	223	171	35	17
3386	What Ralph won't do to avoid that prostate exam.	1.3094	0.04061	223	171	35	17
3387	Oh no, you'd be surprised how many of these I've seen	1.3092	0.03419	262	193	57	12
3388	I understand, but we cannot jump to conclusions. I advise we wait a week and do another round of tests.	1.3092	0.03667	262	199	45	18
3389	Well it's a good thing the wait was only an hour.	1.3092	0.03545	262	196	51	15
3390	You're too wrapped up in your work.	1.3092	0.03419	262	193	57	12
3391	Let's see if this works better than the weighted blanket.	1.3091	0.03729	220	162	48	10
3392	Well, let's run some tests to see what's wrong.	1.3090	0.03694	233	173	48	12
3393	I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest your high blood pressure isn't work-related..	1.3090	0.03592	233	171	52	10
3394	Can one of you squeeze my hand?	1.3089	0.03609	246	183	50	13
3395	Unfortunately, that boa virus keeps going around and around.	1.3089	0.03700	246	185	46	15
3396	When did the tightness in your chest start?	1.3089	0.03789	246	187	42	17
3397	Do you feel constricted from normal activities?	1.3089	0.03700	246	185	46	15
3398	Good news, Ted. We have a handle on what's causing the tension in your shoulders.	1.3089	0.03614	259	195	48	16
3399	Let’s give it a couple weeks and see if it clears up on its own.	1.3088	0.03928	217	163	41	13
3400	Your cholesterol is still higher than I'd like it, and your Vitamin D is a little low, but your snake looks fine.	1.3087	0.03569	230	168	53	9
3401	I'm just saying that lowering your cholesterol intake certainly wouldn't hurt.	1.3087	0.03826	230	173	43	14
3402	Just be sure to put a plastic bag over it when you shower	1.3087	0.03875	230	174	41	15
3403	Give it to me straight. It's cancer, isn't it.	1.3086	0.03909	243	187	37	19
3404	Of all the side effects, cottonmouth is actually quite treatable.	1.3086	0.03643	256	193	47	16
3405	When did you first notice the feeling of tightness in your chest?	1.3086	0.03558	256	191	51	14
3406	Don't be a hypochondriac, Phil. Squeezing chest pain doesn't necessarily signify heart attack.	1.3086	0.03726	256	195	43	18
3407	My prescription was for "snake oil" not "snake coil".	1.3086	0.03807	256	197	39	20
3408	I'm glad you came in ... I heard that there's something nasty that's been going around.	1.3086	0.03470	256	189	55	12
3409	Everything came back negative, but you still have to let me check that prostate.	1.3086	0.03684	256	194	45	17
3410	So you feel tightness in your chest? We'll do some scans to see what's up.	1.3086	0.03514	256	190	53	13
3411	You appear to have Asp Urgers Syndrome.	1.3084	0.03959	227	173	38	16
3412	So, let's start from the beginning. There was an old woman that swollowed a fly...	1.3084	0.04008	227	174	36	17
3413	Some patients have unexpected side effects....	1.3084	0.03859	227	171	42	14
3414	Well, we might try a muscle relaxant.	1.3083	0.03620	240	178	50	12
3415	It says here you suffered ‘the fall of man.’ So, you fell?	1.3083	0.03473	240	175	56	9
3416	Okay, the nurse wrote that you're experiencing some tightness in your chest. Anything else?	1.3083	0.03715	240	180	46	14
3417	Are you experiencing tightness in your chest?	1.3083	0.03620	240	178	50	12
3418	Good news is we've found the cause for the constriction of your arteries.	1.3083	0.03715	240	180	46	14
3419	This will have you pooping in no time.	1.3083	0.03715	240	180	46	14
3420	You say it started as a cute little snake skin belt.	1.3083	0.03585	253	189	50	14
3421	Describe your symptoms for me.	1.3083	0.03798	253	194	40	19
3422	Well, your pressure looks good, but the snake’s is slightly elevated.	1.3083	0.03452	253	186	56	11
3423	The good thing is that your cancer is in remission.	1.3083	0.03588	266	201	48	17
3424	It's not hungry. I am referring you to an animal psychologist who's great with attachment issues.	1.3083	0.03508	266	199	52	15
3425	There's nothing wrong with your snake that eating a medium size man wouldn't cure.	1.3083	0.03508	266	199	52	15
3426	Has she done this before in the three years you've been together?	1.3082	0.03509	279	211	50	18
3427	Eyes are clear, nose is cold, I'm gonna say she just has a need for some warm male companionship.	1.3080	0.03842	224	168	43	13
3428	As your vet I must say, you seem tightly wound, have you been eating lately	1.3080	0.03842	224	168	43	13
3429	Your blood pressure has dropped off significantly since you got your emotional support animal.	1.3080	0.03699	237	177	47	13
3430	So, feeling any tightness in the chest?	1.3080	0.03747	237	178	45	14
3431	The side effects should resolve in a few days. Meanwhile, sleep in a dry warm place and eat plenty of live mice.	1.3080	0.03887	237	181	39	17
3432	Well Monty, what seems to be the problem?	1.3080	0.03841	237	180	41	16
3433	I also can't help but notice you're slouching.	1.3080	0.03614	250	187	49	14
3434	Do you have any constrictions, dietary or otherwise?	1.3080	0.03701	250	189	45	16
3435	I am writing a prescription for a muscle relaxer for both of you! Good Luck!	1.3080	0.03569	250	186	51	13
3436	I'm glad it stopped your choking but next time have a person perform the Heimlich.	1.3080	0.03645	276	212	43	21
3437	We need you to sign some release papers	1.3077	0.03687	247	186	46	15
3438	At least try to say 'Aah.'	1.3077	0.03874	234	178	40	16
3439	Evidently, you left out "feathered" in you Amazon Prime order	1.3077	0.03819	247	189	40	18
3440	So when did your therapy snake first exhibit signs of anxiety and abandonment issues?	1.3077	0.04059	234	182	32	20
3441	Do you have any symptoms besides shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, and the snake around your torso?	1.3077	0.03776	247	188	42	17
3442	Any history of compression?	1.3077	0.03687	247	186	46	15
3443	I'm prescribing an anti-constrictor medication.	1.3077	0.03779	234	176	44	14
3444	Have you felt any unusual tightness in your chest or extremities?	1.3077	0.03659	221	162	50	9
3445	How was your trip to the Everglades?	1.3077	0.03732	247	187	44	16
3446	Yes, this condition could be one causes of your ED	1.3077	0.04084	221	170	34	17
3447	Sorry. Shortage on blood pressure cuffs.	1.3077	0.03769	221	164	46	11
3448	Well, your vitals are fine but I'm going to write you a prescription for a mild muscle relaxer.	1.3077	0.03360	247	179	60	8
3449	I call this nature's Heimlich Maneuver.	1.3077	0.03519	260	194	52	14
3450	And what did your herpetologist recommend?	1.3074	0.03630	257	194	47	16
3451	So you're feeling a bit constricted?	1.3074	0.03626	244	182	49	13
3452	Other than a tightness in your chest, what are your symptoms?	1.3074	0.03579	244	181	51	12
3453	Do you recall exactly when the tightness started?	1.3074	0.03579	244	181	51	12
3454	Could you describe this 'tightening' feeling?	1.3074	0.03532	244	180	53	11
3455	Sir, I'm sorry to say that you may have a bad case of Serpes.	1.3074	0.03626	244	182	49	13
3456	It's not legally required, but you really should notify previous partners.	1.3074	0.03895	244	188	37	19
3457	Soo...is this considered a pre-existing condition?	1.3074	0.03957	231	177	37	17
3458	My diagnosis was to make dietary restrictions, not constrictions.	1.3074	0.03711	231	172	47	12
3459	Apply the snake oil twice a day for seven days and it should fall off on its own.	1.3074	0.03909	231	176	39	16
3460	Normally I advise against fad diet plans	1.3074	0.03711	231	172	47	12
3461	Have you tried removing the boa constrictor to ease the pain?	1.3074	0.03711	231	172	47	12
3462	So, you say your name is Caduceus?	1.3073	0.03966	218	165	39	14
3463	Yes, it only gets worse.	1.3071	0.03615	267	203	46	18
3464	When did you first notice a shortness of breath?	1.3071	0.03659	254	192	46	16
3465	Since you're a lawyer, perhaps he would be willing to withdraw as a professional courtesy.	1.3071	0.03659	254	192	46	16
3466	About time to shed this mortal coil.	1.3071	0.03659	254	192	46	16
3467	I’m sorry there is nothing I can do for you, but I will prescribe muscle relaxers for you emotional support reptile.	1.3071	0.03659	254	192	46	16
3468	When did the tightness in your chest begin?	1.3071	0.03885	241	185	38	18
3469	I'm not sure your airline will allow a snake on your flight as an "emotional support animal", but here is the note you asked for.	1.3071	0.03702	241	181	46	14
3470	Well, that got rid of the tapeworm!	1.3070	0.03638	228	168	50	10
3471	So you took a bite of the apple and then...	1.3070	0.03949	215	162	40	13
3472	You might want to re-think your choice of a spirit animal.	1.3069	0.04181	202	154	34	14
3473	Got your test results....your BOA is slightly elevated.	1.3069	0.03448	277	208	53	16
3474	Perhaps we should have opted for more aggressive treatment last visit.	1.3068	0.03355	264	194	59	11
3475	'With the sudden increase of your blood pressure,I'm writing you a prescription for a feather boa."	1.3067	0.03733	238	179	45	14
3476	It says here you, "feel a slight tightening in your chest?"	1.3067	0.03637	238	177	49	12
3477	So it says here you've been feeling a little out of breath.	1.3067	0.03436	238	173	57	8
3478	This should help with the scaliness.	1.3067	0.03538	238	175	53	10
3479	Your Veterinarian will likely send you to a behaviorist for the attachment issues.	1.3067	0.03918	238	183	37	18
3480	Honestly it's not as uncommon as you'd think.	1.3067	0.03775	225	168	45	12
3481	According to the lab results, you're in excellent health.	1.3067	0.04127	225	175	31	19
3482	No no no - I recommended dietary "re"strictions…	1.3065	0.03672	261	199	44	18
3483	I'm hoping that this clinical trial will help to relieve your constipation.	1.3065	0.03751	261	201	40	20
3484	On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rank the pain?	1.3065	0.03549	261	196	50	15
3485	Here's a prescription. He should be fine in a couple of days.	1.3065	0.03630	248	186	48	14
3486	I think we can rule out COPD for your shortness of breath.	1.3065	0.03630	248	186	48	14
3487	How intense is the pain, on a scale of 1 to 10?	1.3065	0.03675	248	187	46	15
3488	Are you still having hallucinations about being choked by a snake?	1.3065	0.03630	248	186	48	14
3489	Difficulty breathing? Hard to say, we'll have to run some tests.	1.3064	0.04177	235	186	26	23
3490	Try not to exhale.	1.3064	0.03765	235	177	44	14
3491	Consider wearing something less constricting	1.3064	0.03953	235	181	36	18
3492	Stiff, achey, hard to breathe... we'll run some tests.	1.3064	0.03860	235	179	40	16
3493	Most men are aware of the fashion and health risks of wearing a boa.	1.3064	0.03667	235	175	48	12
3494	These lab tests I'm ordering should help me identify your problem.	1.3064	0.03765	235	177	44	14
3495	No, I don't think your asthma is getting worse. I believe there's a more obvious reason you're short of breath.	1.3063	0.03809	222	166	44	12
3496	Well, the good news is, he's not venomous.	1.3063	0.03862	222	167	42	13
3497	Could you point to where you're experiencing tightness?	1.3063	0.03755	222	165	46	11
3498	Now if the snake doesn't help, then come back in three or four days.	1.3062	0.03448	258	191	55	12
3499	I don’t recommend the Everglades Diet	1.3062	0.03701	258	197	43	18
3500	Are you experiencing any dizziness or shortness of breath?	1.3062	0.03576	258	194	49	15
3501	Everything checks out OK, but your blood pressure seems a bit high.	1.3061	0.03659	245	184	47	14
3502	So how did you two meet?	1.3060	0.03942	232	178	37	17
3503	I'm gonna set you up with the herpetologist. I'll fast track it so you'll get in within a month or so.	1.3060	0.03942	232	178	37	17
3504	Roger, your pressure is up	1.3060	0.03603	268	204	46	18
3505	I prescribe a snake charmer for your congestion.	1.3059	0.03897	219	165	41	13
3506	So you're experiencing some tightness around the chest.	1.3059	0.03897	219	165	41	13
3507	Yes, well that tightness in your chest could be a number of things, but my gut tells me it's stress.	1.3059	0.03429	255	188	56	11
3508	we'll hold off on the prostate exam until your next visit	1.3059	0.03604	255	192	48	15
3509	Well, I guess that wraps it up for now.	1.3059	0.03689	255	194	44	17
3510	I’m sorry. I don’t sign off on therapy animals.	1.3059	0.03561	255	191	50	14
3511	And how long have you been suffering from scaly skin?	1.3058	0.03735	242	183	44	15
3512	Has this happened on other flights into LAX?	1.3058	0.03781	242	184	42	16
3513	Okay, you can get dressed now.	1.3058	0.03781	242	184	42	16
3514	So, you can breath now, it's not cancer.	1.3058	0.03498	242	178	54	10
3515	And do you have a family history of respiratory problems?	1.3057	0.03978	229	176	36	17
3516	When your friend suggested a boa as a fashion statement, she didn't mean an actual reptile.	1.3057	0.03978	229	176	36	17
3517	Let's run some tests	1.3057	0.03929	229	175	38	16
3518	Does the snake have any known allergies?	1.3057	0.03631	265	202	45	18
3519	Just give me a moment to update your hissssssstory!	1.3057	0.03631	265	202	45	18
3520	Fart and the snake will let you go..	1.3056	0.03676	252	191	45	16
3521	The only treatment option left is snake oil.	1.3056	0.03589	252	189	49	14
3522	Do you want the good news or the bad news?	1.3056	0.03719	252	192	43	17
3523	So, when did you first notice this sense of pressure in your chest?	1.3056	0.03761	252	193	41	18
3524	My advice? Lighten up and let your wife eat the apple. If the problem persists after that, you may have to move, no matter how nice your garden is.	1.3056	0.03822	216	161	44	11
3525	Of course you're always encouraged to seek a second opinion.	1.3056	0.03676	252	191	45	16
3526	Describe your pain on a scale of 1 to 10.	1.3055	0.03501	275	208	50	17
3527	If you think you're choked now, wait until you get my bill.	1.3054	0.03813	239	182	41	16
3528	The CAT scan showed an actual cat.	1.3054	0.03859	239	183	39	17
3529	I hate to say it, Mr. Anderson, but we’re all feeling the squeeze.	1.3053	0.03655	226	167	49	10
3530	So, it only hurts when you breathe.	1.3053	0.03761	226	169	45	12
3531	Okay, so we’re feeling tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing...any history of heart disease in your family?	1.3053	0.04014	226	174	35	17
3532	Choking is largely psychosomatic	1.3052	0.03749	249	190	42	17
3533	Your results show some arterial constriction.	1.3052	0.03480	249	184	54	11
3534	And tell me, how long have you been experiencing shortness of breath?	1.3052	0.03662	249	188	46	15
3535	And on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate this pressure?	1.3052	0.03749	249	190	42	17
3536	You are preaching to the choir. I have a wife and four kids.	1.3052	0.03662	249	188	46	15
3537	I'm concerned about the weight gain. When did you notice your dog was missing?	1.3052	0.03662	249	188	46	15
3538	You're wrapped in a snake.	1.3052	0.03877	249	193	36	20
3539	Your hangnail is doing much better	1.3051	0.03565	272	207	47	18
3540	You have only about five days to live. But your snake has about fifty years."	1.3051	0.03565	272	207	47	18
3541	As long as you feed it a piglet every two weeks you’ll be fine.	1.3051	0.03451	236	172	56	8
3542	It is listed as one of the side affects.	1.3051	0.03893	236	181	38	17
3543	The tightness is normal, once you've passed out it will subside.	1.3051	0.03751	236	178	44	14
3544	I think I might know what's causing your shortness of breath, but I'd like to run a few more tests.	1.3051	0.03654	236	176	48	12
3545	Sir, for the fifth time, I know you can hear me; we just need you to sign these papers so we can proceed.	1.3050	0.03477	282	214	50	18
3546	I think your support animal is smothering you.	1.3049	0.03740	223	166	46	11
3547	It appears that the lump in your throat is a human.	1.3049	0.04340	223	178	22	23
3548	Does it feel like an elephant on your chest, or something less intense?	1.3049	0.03507	246	182	53	11
3549	I’m recommending ASPirin	1.3047	0.03684	233	174	47	12
3550	The good news is you've lost several inches off your waist.	1.3047	0.03582	233	172	51	10
3551	Have you been out of the country?	1.3047	0.03974	233	180	35	18
3552	I'm prescribing a cream for her skin and don't let her eat anything bigger than your fist.	1.3047	0.03684	233	174	47	12
3553	For how long has he been your main squeeze ?	1.3047	0.03592	256	193	48	15
3554	On a positive note, you’ve lost 10 pounds.	1.3045	0.03676	243	183	46	14
3555	As your vet, my advice is let him go and find some rodents.	1.3045	0.03767	243	185	42	16
3556	It appears you were simply too charming.	1.3045	0.03629	243	182	48	13
3557	Do you feel constricted?	1.3045	0.03459	266	199	53	14
3558	I'm sorry, but we'll have to run few more tests.	1.3043	0.03748	253	194	41	18
3559	Unfortunately, you did not pick up the wrap around option to your health plan.	1.3043	0.03766	230	173	44	13
3560	I understand your need for an emotional support animal, however I think there just might be a connection to your breathing issues.	1.3042	0.03526	263	198	50	15
3561	I'm sorry but HIPAA laws preclude me from discussing Eve's condition." John Canning Sea Cliff, New York	1.3042	0.03799	240	183	41	16
3562	Get two asps and call me in the morning.	1.3042	0.03935	240	186	35	19
3563	So do you want to start with the good news or the bad news?	1.3042	0.03659	240	180	47	13
3564	Sometimes we have to go back to the ancient cures for constipation.	1.3042	0.03845	240	184	39	17
3565	The diagnosis seems to be stupidity	1.3042	0.03979	240	187	33	20
3566	I'm assuming you haven't tried diet and exercise?	1.3042	0.03799	240	183	41	16
3567	I never do this, but I think I’m going to have to recommend acupuncture.	1.3042	0.03753	240	182	43	15
3568	This is what happens when you consult one of those snake oil salesmen instead of trusting the medical establishment.	1.3042	0.03562	240	178	51	11
3569	There may be some swelling in your feet due to poor circulation.	1.3041	0.04129	217	168	32	17
3570	So, that tight feeling in your chest now feels like it's spread up into your neck and down into your abdomen?	1.3040	0.03359	273	203	57	13
3571	I'm afraid your still going to have to cough.	1.3040	0.03477	273	206	51	16
3572	Listen, I'm sorry I can't give you a better diagnosis than 'it's a snake,' but this isn't really what you'd call a typical case.	1.3040	0.03693	250	190	44	16
3573	I think you'll find a weighted blanket will serve the same purpose.	1.3040	0.03560	250	187	50	13
3574	I understand you're feeling a lot of pressure.	1.3038	0.03511	260	195	51	14
3575	How long have you been experiencing shortness of breath?	1.3038	0.03591	237	176	50	11
3576	And what brings you to the Travel Clinic?	1.3038	0.03591	237	176	50	11
3577	I see the gastric banding procedure seems to be working.	1.3037	0.03898	214	161	41	12
3578	Blood pressure seems fine. How's your breathing?	1.3037	0.03300	270	199	60	11
3579	That tightness in your chest could be something serious. I'd like to order a few tests.	1.3037	0.03382	270	201	56	13
3580	It's a straight forward case of separation anxiety. She doesn't want you sitting under the apple tree with any one else but her.	1.3036	0.03853	247	191	37	19
3581	Any difficulty with breathing?	1.3036	0.03588	247	185	49	13
3582	I’m going to refer you to a veterinarian.	1.3036	0.03634	247	186	47	14
3583	So where are you feeling this tightness?	1.3036	0.03588	247	185	49	13
3584	So far we've determined that you don't have a frog in your throat.	1.3036	0.03723	247	188	43	16
3585	so looks like you are reporting tightness in your chest....	1.3036	0.03811	247	190	39	18
3586	Let's take a 'wait-and-see' approach, but call me if the snake gets tighter.	1.3036	0.03780	224	168	44	12
3587	Don't worry. Your snake is going to be fine.	1.3036	0.03726	224	167	46	11
3588	Good morning Mr. Pivnick, what seems to be the problem?	1.3035	0.03705	257	197	42	18
3589	Try two rats a day to reduce squeezing, and maybe we'll see you in two weeks.	1.3035	0.03537	257	193	50	14
3590	Any allergies?	1.3035	0.03494	257	192	52	13
3591	So when did the 'tightness of the chest' start?	1.3035	0.03580	257	194	48	15
3592	I have the test results. You're a little wound up.	1.3035	0.03316	257	188	60	9
3593	Your blood pressure is a little too high. I would recommend a lab test to find the cause.	1.3034	0.03357	234	169	59	6
3594	Take one every day. It'll help you unwind.	1.3034	0.03620	234	174	49	11
3595	So, Monte, what brings you in today?	1.3034	0.03685	267	206	41	20
3596	Have you tried obedience training?	1.3033	0.03754	244	186	42	16
3597	He says your prostate's okay, so that's good...	1.3032	0.03479	277	210	50	17
3598	My schedule is tight today but I can squeeze you in next Thursday."	1.3031	0.03565	254	191	49	14
3599	So how long has it been since you ate the apple from the tree?	1.3031	0.03521	254	190	51	13
3600	Just so I'm clear, which one of you is shedding skin?	1.3031	0.03651	254	193	45	16
3601	The bad news is that we can't use liposuction, but you're a perfect candidate for vip-o-suction.	1.3030	0.03701	231	173	46	12
3602	I want you take these twice a day with mice.	1.3030	0.03752	231	174	44	13
3603	Sure, laxatives work too.	1.3030	0.03802	231	175	42	14
3604	Two mice every four hours. As for you Mr. Deal, no more Ladies Night pole dancing.	1.3029	0.03876	241	186	37	18
3605	Let’s get you on a less restrictive diet.	1.3029	0.03831	241	185	39	17
3606	I’d advise against self-medicating again, so I’m prescribing a standard back brace for you, and a muscle-relaxant for your snake.	1.3029	0.03598	241	180	49	12
3607	A feeling of tightness around the chest... is that all?	1.3029	0.03740	241	183	43	15
3608	I really can't help you if you won't get undressed.	1.3029	0.03740	241	183	43	15
3609	I'm prescribing something warmer and less constricting...	1.3029	0.03693	241	182	45	14
3610	How long has Monty been your therapy pet?	1.3029	0.03786	241	184	41	16
3611	We're trying out a new colonoscopy regimen.	1.3029	0.03598	241	180	49	12
3612	The test results indicate you’re in a bit of a bind.	1.3028	0.03503	251	187	52	12
3613	You need to learn a new computer language. Python is killing you.	1.3028	0.03723	251	192	42	17
3614	And you say that your wife asked you to get her boa from her closet?	1.3028	0.03548	251	188	50	13
3615	You have a severe case of anacondria.	1.3028	0.03736	218	162	46	10
3616	We need to run a few more tests."	1.3027	0.03664	261	200	43	18
3617	Does anyone else in your family have a snake around the body?	1.3027	0.03664	261	200	43	18
3618	I'll have to run a few tests.	1.3027	0.03664	261	200	43	18
3619	Is this your wife’s boa?	1.3027	0.03623	261	199	45	17
3620	From now on, let's leave snake charming to the professionals.	1.3026	0.03835	228	173	41	14
3621	I see your getting along fine with your comfort animal Jim	1.3026	0.03885	228	174	39	15
3622	So this is the cure for a frog in your throat?	1.3026	0.03983	228	176	35	17
3623	Oh I don't know about that; everybody feels like that in Trump's America these days.	1.3026	0.03290	271	200	60	11
3624	So tell me, how long have you felt this tightness in your chest?	1.3025	0.03676	238	179	46	13
3625	Yes, I know you’ve been waiting an hour but he hasn’t swallowed you yet, so - we’re good.	1.3025	0.03578	238	177	50	11
3626	Now finish the full course of antibiotic this time, okay?	1.3024	0.03530	248	185	51	12
3627	Sorry, it says here your condition is pre-existing.	1.3024	0.03882	248	193	35	20
3628	There are a couple of things I'm not going to be able to check today.	1.3023	0.03938	215	163	39	13
3629	If you can make sure he gets 3 or 4 mice a day, that constriction in your chest should ease up quite a bit in a week or so.	1.3023	0.03693	258	198	42	18
3630	We'll need to take a few more tests to determine why you're having difficulty breathing.	1.3023	0.03610	258	196	46	16
3631	But on the bright side, you won't have to worry about the Heimlich maneuver.	1.3022	0.03658	225	167	48	10
3632	I'll give you a little something for that chest congestion.	1.3022	0.03658	225	167	48	10
3633	And when did you first notice that tightness in your chest?	1.3021	0.03607	235	175	49	11
3634	A sore throat can make you hard to swallow.	1.3021	0.03556	235	174	51	10
3635	I'm telling you, Mr. Johnson, you have to unwind!	1.3020	0.03557	245	183	50	12
3636	Well Adam, it says this all started when you bit an apple?	1.3020	0.03785	245	188	40	17
3637	Sorry, we’re out of paper gowns.	1.3020	0.03650	245	185	46	14
3638	It’s probably just stress.	1.3020	0.03604	245	184	48	13
3639	With this new treatment, your movements will be somewhat constricted.	1.3019	0.03336	265	196	58	11
3640	Would you describe the pain as a squeezing sensation?	1.3019	0.03975	212	161	38	13
3641	I'm not a snake oil salesman. My approach is much more wholistic.	1.3019	0.03975	212	161	38	13
3642	Are you experiencing any unusual pain?	1.3018	0.03689	222	165	47	10
3643	There is a lot of this going around	1.3017	0.03885	232	178	38	16
3644	Oh I'm sorry, there was a typo on your last prescription form.	1.3017	0.03637	232	173	48	11
3645	I think you got it backwards when I told you to embrace your fear	1.3017	0.03836	232	177	40	15
3646	You must cut your grass more often.	1.3017	0.03688	232	174	46	12
3647	I'm writing you a prescription for Xanax. You seem wound up a bit tighter than usual.	1.3017	0.03585	232	172	50	10
3648	It says here that the side effects may include tightness in chest.	1.3017	0.04026	232	181	32	19
3649	I don't think that is what your wife had in mind when she asked you to wear a boa to bed.	1.3017	0.03772	242	185	41	16
3650	My advice is that you ease up on the Viagra.	1.3017	0.03862	242	187	37	18
3651	So, your symptoms are squeezing pain in your chest and numbness in your arms...We better do an ekg so we can rule out any heart issues, and we’ll take it from there.	1.3017	0.03680	242	183	45	14
3652	I warned you herpetologists not to get wrapped up in your work!	1.3017	0.03633	242	182	47	13
3653	Not exactly what I meant when I said get closer to nature.	1.3017	0.03726	242	184	43	15
3654	What makes you think your pet overheard your plans for a homemade pair of boots?	1.3017	0.03633	242	182	47	13
3655	With the increase in your blood pressure and the weight gain, I'd say you need to find a way to unwind	1.3016	0.03710	252	193	42	17
3656	Even though you are experiencing unbearable chest pressure, my gut tells me we can rule out heart disease.	1.3016	0.03491	252	188	52	12
3657	I'm going to prescribe something to help lower your blood pressure.	1.3016	0.03491	252	188	52	12
3658	I'm referring you to a herpetologist.	1.3016	0.03710	252	193	42	17
3659	That chest tightness could just be a winter cold.....let's wait for the lab results.	1.3016	0.03580	252	190	48	14
3660	Are you sure you are just feeling a frog in your throat?	1.3015	0.03595	272	209	44	19
3661	Congestion, check. Any trouble swallowing?	1.3015	0.03321	272	202	58	12
3662	At this stage, you should just go to a vet.	1.3014	0.03940	219	167	38	14
3663	Yes, we're trialing some new approaches to measuring blood pressure.	1.3013	0.03968	229	177	35	17
3664	So, you say you've been feeling a bit constricted lately?	1.3013	0.03820	229	174	41	14
3665	So,you tell me your inhaler isn't helping.	1.3013	0.03561	229	169	51	9
3666	OK - I'm gonna put you in for an MRI and we'll see what's going on.	1.3013	0.03770	229	173	43	13
3667	Concerning yes, but not as bad as it looks. I suggest a few mice twice a day until you feel things loosen up	1.3013	0.03895	239	185	36	18
3668	You should start to see results in three to five weeks.”	1.3013	0.03414	239	175	56	8
3669	I am afraid we will have to do more tests.	1.3013	0.03710	239	181	44	14
3670	You might try switching to feather.	1.3013	0.03850	239	184	38	17
3671	....and after we remove it, you can make a nice pair of shoes.	1.3013	0.03516	239	177	52	10
3672	Since I’ve been a veterinarian this is the worst case of separation anxiety I’ve seen.	1.3013	0.03850	239	184	38	17
3673	I just want to rule some things out. First, could your sudden shortness of breath be connected to allergies?	1.3012	0.03697	249	190	43	16
3674	Well, it’s not getting any worse.	1.3012	0.03424	249	184	55	10
3675	It may be a snake, Mr. Mowgli, but I'll make the diagnosis. You just tell me the symptoms.	1.3012	0.03556	259	196	48	15
3676	We'll run a few tests, but I'm pretty sure it's just a cold.	1.3012	0.03721	259	200	40	19
3677	You seem to have a rare case of a pain in the asp.	1.3011	0.03584	269	206	45	18
3678	How long have you noticed the tightness in your chest?	1.3011	0.03623	269	207	43	19
3679	I am not sure your insurance will cover this.....	1.3011	0.03603	279	216	42	21
3680	As your doctor, I must to warn you, some of these fad diets can kill you.	1.3009	0.03905	226	173	38	15
3681	The good news is the TB test came back negative.	1.3009	0.03854	226	172	40	14
3682	So you first noticed the symptoms as you were eating an apple?	1.3008	0.03789	236	180	41	15
3683	Python death grips are very rare, sir. Delusional disorder though-- very common. With that code you should have coverage.	1.3008	0.03930	236	183	35	18
3684	I'm afraid your insurance doesn't cover pythonectomy.	1.3008	0.03544	236	175	51	10
3685	Great news! The snake is not poisonous so you can go home now.	1.3008	0.03789	236	180	41	15
3686	Just don't let this pressure consume you.	1.3008	0.03837	236	181	39	16
3687	I did all the tests on your snake and I think he's doing fine.	1.3008	0.03837	236	181	39	16
3688	Yeah - I would avoid the jungle and I'll fill out a script for some mice.	1.3008	0.03545	246	184	50	12
3689	Next time use SPANX.	1.3008	0.03727	246	188	42	16
3690	I'm going to recommend you see a snake oil salesman.	1.3008	0.03591	246	185	48	13
3691	I'm prescribing you some snake oil.	1.3008	0.03591	246	185	48	13
3692	I have ordered further testing to see what is causing your shortness of breath.	1.3008	0.03791	256	199	37	20
3693	Your chronic herpetology has become acute.	1.3008	0.03541	256	193	49	14
3694	This tightness in your chest, would you describe it as constricting?	1.3008	0.03584	256	194	47	15
3695	It looks like you have an acute reptilian constriction, but am MRI will tell us for sure.	1.3008	0.03651	266	205	42	19
3696	Any chest tightness?	1.3007	0.03557	276	212	45	19
3697	On any medications at the moment? Allergies? How often do you drink alcohol each week? Ever to excess? Smoke? Under unusual amount of stress?	1.3005	0.04123	213	165	32	16
3698	You want a holistic remedy for constipation, you get Sally.	1.3004	0.04042	223	173	33	17
3699	And when did you first notice this constrictive feeling in your chest?	1.3004	0.03674	233	175	46	12
3700	any history of hypertension ?	1.3004	0.03674	233	175	46	12
3701	The directions clearly state, “Counter-clockwise only.”	1.3004	0.03724	233	176	44	13
3702	Let me get this right. You are wondering what's causing you a stomach ache?	1.3004	0.03667	243	184	45	14
3703	Yes, I'm aware you love him, but he just doesn't qualify as an emotional support animal.	1.3004	0.03525	243	181	51	11
3704	You’re suffering from moderate anxiety. Coincidentally, the snake’s blood sugar is low.	1.3004	0.03758	243	186	41	16
3705	I'm prescribing muscle relaxers	1.3004	0.03758	243	186	41	16
3706	Weight, good. Blood pressure is a little elevated. Let's keep an eye on this. Overall, great shape! How's the family?	1.3004	0.03525	243	181	51	11
3707	High blood pressure is the real threat here though.	1.3004	0.03568	253	191	48	14
3708	You should have listened to your ex-wife when she said 'It's him or me!'	1.3004	0.03568	253	191	48	14
3709	Tightness in the chest could be a heart attack so I'm sending you to the E.R.	1.3004	0.03698	253	194	42	17
3710	Can you describe this feeling of being “constricted”?	1.3004	0.03655	253	193	44	16
3711	Well that just about wraps it up. I’d caution you on exhaling.	1.3004	0.03518	263	199	49	15
3712	As soon as you get home, give the boa a muscle relaxer as prescribed.	1.3004	0.03261	263	193	61	9
3713	You need an Expectorant, not a Constrictor"	1.3004	0.03518	263	199	49	15
3714	You will be pleased to learn the technique works. You already lost 10 pounds.	1.3004	0.03559	263	200	47	16
3715	So, Mr......Mowgli? What seems to be the problem?	1.3004	0.03469	273	207	50	16
3716	I see you're a hypochondriac, Mr. Jones. What's your complaint today?	1.3000	0.03534	270	206	47	17
3717	Well, Bill... according to this chart, you've got 20 minutes left. So I'll just give you the bill now.	1.3000	0.03627	260	199	44	17
3718	Any other symptoms in addition to the tightness in your chest?	1.3000	0.03707	220	164	46	10
3719	It's one of the toughest cases I've yet to unwind".	1.3000	0.03506	250	187	51	12
3720	Is there a hisstory of this in your family?	1.3000	0.03881	240	186	36	18
3721	Tell me when you first started feeling constricted?	1.3000	0.03544	260	197	48	15
3722	I think it may be something that ate you.	1.3000	0.03586	260	198	46	16
3723	One tropical medicine class and you interns obsess over every little symptom.	1.3000	0.04053	210	161	35	14
3724	I'm prescribing Xanax. You seem a little tightly wrapped.	1.3000	0.03856	230	176	39	15
3725	A triple dosage of Viagra should bust you right out of there.	1.3000	0.03708	260	201	40	19
3726	So you’re feeling a moderate tightening of the chest... any other symptoms?	1.3000	0.03596	250	189	47	14
3727	I’m going to prescribe a muscle relaxant. And lay off the humans for a while, OK?	1.3000	0.03553	240	179	50	11
3728	I’m afraid that procedure is only covered once your deductible is met, but try feeding it two whole rats and call me in the morning.	1.3000	0.03506	250	187	51	12
3729	Yes, constriction of the chest is a common symptom of an anxiety disorder.	1.3000	0.03596	250	189	47	14
3730	You say you're gripped by fear, but I think it's a reptile.	1.3000	0.03551	250	188	49	13
3731	Try as you might, Adam, things will never be as they were.	1.3000	0.03551	250	188	49	13
3732	Yes, I can give you something that will reduce the "hissing" in the middle of the night.	1.3000	0.03459	250	186	53	11
3733	Let's see: difficulty breathing and chest pain. Have you tried aspirin?	1.3000	0.03728	250	192	41	17
3734	Now -- what type of insurance do you have?	1.3000	0.03484	280	214	48	18
3735	With a high level of confidence, I can say that the pain in your chest is not a heart attack.m	1.3000	0.03553	240	179	50	11
3736	You say you're feeling constricted.”	1.3000	0.03855	250	195	35	20
3737	So your naturopath prescribed this for bloating?	1.2997	0.03412	297	228	49	20
3738	Experiencing any shortness of breath?	1.2996	0.03395	277	209	53	15
3739	There's a lot of that going around now.	1.2996	0.03600	267	205	44	18
3740	It sounds like it’s crunch time.	1.2996	0.03440	267	201	52	14
3741	So when did you start feeling constricted?	1.2996	0.03614	257	196	45	16
3742	We still gotta do a blood test to know for sure.	1.2996	0.03614	257	196	45	16
3743	He'll be okay; just a sniffle.	1.2996	0.03738	257	199	39	19
3744	Oh boy, yeah, you're definitely constricted..	1.2996	0.03738	257	199	39	19
3745	It's a difficult diagnosis. Have you visited a tropical country recently?	1.2996	0.03625	247	187	46	14
3746	Has anything been causing you stress lately?	1.2996	0.03579	247	186	48	13
3747	So, your pet's name is Monty?	1.2996	0.03714	247	189	42	16
3748	When my patients tell me they have a pressing feeling, it's not usually so easy to diagnose.	1.2996	0.03625	247	187	46	14
3749	All your tests have come back negative. So I think we are good to go.	1.2996	0.03625	247	187	46	14
3750	I think I finally found out why you are having trouble breathing.	1.2996	0.03579	247	186	48	13
3751	Can I assume your occupation is charming?	1.2996	0.03486	247	184	52	11
3752	So, I hear you're having a little tightness in your chest?	1.2996	0.03680	237	179	45	13
3753	I'm prescribing you two tubs of Vaseline every four hours	1.2996	0.03728	237	180	43	14
3754	Was this your first attempt at drag?	1.2996	0.03989	227	176	34	17
3755	Perhaps you should have eaten the apple	1.2995	0.03851	217	164	41	12
3756	You're a little wound up .	1.2995	0.03851	217	164	41	12
3757	It seems your breathing is constricted.	1.2993	0.03340	274	205	56	13
3758	Any experience of tightness in your chest?	1.2992	0.03547	264	201	47	16
3759	I understand you’re feeling constricted, but I really don’t think it’s the medication.	1.2992	0.03423	264	198	53	13
3760	Yes, Monty, python can be hazardous.	1.2992	0.03506	264	200	49	15
3761	Your condition is deteriorating. We need to order you another PET.	1.2992	0.03512	254	191	50	13
3762	I’m sorry Mrs Miller but our insurance company considers this a preexisting condition	1.2992	0.03512	254	191	50	13
3763	So what other symptoms are you feeling besides shortness of breath?	1.2992	0.03745	244	187	41	16
3764	We'll have to run a few tests to rule out anything more serious.	1.2992	0.03513	244	182	51	11
3765	Next time swipe left.	1.2992	0.03834	244	189	37	18
3766	So.....I understand you are feeling a little constricted.	1.2992	0.03654	244	185	45	14
3767	I’d suggest more quality time to resolve his separation anxiety	1.2992	0.03654	244	185	45	14
3768	When did this feeling of tightness in you chest start?	1.2992	0.03700	244	186	43	15
3769	But it’s my support animal	1.2992	0.03654	244	185	45	14
3770	The good news is that it's not psoriasis...	1.2991	0.03759	234	178	42	14
3771	Besides tightness in your chest, what other symptoms do you have?	1.2991	0.03808	234	179	40	15
3772	Yes, we can remove him, but we can't promise there won't be some scarring of your scales.	1.2991	0.03874	224	171	39	14
3773	.... And how long have you felt constricted?	1.2991	0.03661	224	167	47	10
3774	This isnt the first holistic colon screening Ive seen go sideways.	1.2991	0.03976	224	173	35	16
3775	So, any tightening of the chest—I mean, other than the obvious?	1.2989	0.03448	261	196	52	13
3776	Well, we've cancelled the MRI.	1.2989	0.03656	261	201	42	18
3777	New York Fashion week is always a busy time of year.	1.2988	0.03715	251	193	41	17
3778	well Mr. Smith I do not think I will be asking you to bend over”.	1.2988	0.03672	251	192	43	16
3779	Your blood seems to be running cold.	1.2988	0.03540	241	180	50	11
3780	Good news is, we finally got your blood pressure down!	1.2988	0.03540	241	180	50	11
3781	Yes, I see the problem. We’ll have to lower your dosage of Adder-all.	1.2988	0.03540	241	180	50	11
3782	If it's still bothering you in a week, then give us a call.	1.2988	0.03684	241	183	44	14
3783	A steady diet of rats will keep it from crushing you.	1.2988	0.03867	241	187	36	18
3784	It says here that you're feeling a little wound up lately....	1.2988	0.03867	241	187	36	18
3785	You better increase his rations by one rat.	1.2988	0.03491	241	179	52	10
3786	Blood tests are negative.	1.2987	0.03640	231	173	47	11
3787	Ok, so for the good news first, I’m pretty sure it’s not your asthma acting up	1.2987	0.03588	231	172	49	10
3788	And you say the tightness in your chest started a week ago on your trip to the Brazilian rainforest?"	1.2987	0.03691	231	174	45	12
3789	Nice boa. You get it at Saks?	1.2987	0.03841	231	177	39	15
3790	I'm afraid Mr. Asclepius, that we regard this is as a pre-existing condition...	1.2987	0.03890	231	178	37	16
3791	Oh, so that's what you meant about feeling wound up.	1.2987	0.03792	231	176	41	14
3792	Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions.	1.2986	0.03856	221	168	40	13
3793	Just exactly how long have you been short of breath?	1.2986	0.03856	221	168	40	13
3794	Your oxygen level is a bit low. We'll run some tests to figure out why.	1.2985	0.03346	268	200	56	12
3795	Think you have a problem ? My salary is being squeezed by the limits on Medicare.	1.2984	0.03426	248	184	54	10
3796	One reptile aquarium and one a box of generic mice.	1.2984	0.03612	248	188	46	14
3797	I understand you're having trouble scratching your nose?	1.2984	0.03657	248	189	44	15
3798	It's your call. I can prescribe something that will get him to relax or motivate him to finish the job.	1.2984	0.03701	248	190	42	16
3799	You should have kept your pants on.	1.2984	0.03745	248	191	40	17
3800	If you’ll just sign here so we can verify your insurance....	1.2984	0.03789	248	192	38	18
3801	Sorry we kept you waiting.	1.2983	0.03666	238	180	45	13
3802	Call me back if you have difficulty breathing.	1.2983	0.03618	238	179	47	12
3803	Tightness in the chest can have many causes. Have you been stressed at work?	1.2983	0.03855	238	184	37	17
3804	Yes, Eve said the same thing	1.2982	0.04070	228	179	30	19
3805	Are you experiencing any symptoms besides tightness in your chest?	1.2982	0.03875	228	175	38	15
3806	That rattling in your lungs is textbook pneumonia.	1.2982	0.03667	218	162	47	9
3807	Tightness in the chest may indicate something more serious. When did you first notice these symptoms.	1.2982	0.03945	218	167	37	14
3808	I'm sorry, your insurance only has venomous coverage."	1.2981	0.03732	265	207	37	21
3809	Did this happen before or after he suggested to your wife she should eat the apple?	1.2980	0.03755	255	198	38	19
3810	You say she's an old squeeze who just can't let go?	1.2980	0.03903	198	148	41	9
3811	Trust me, your blood pressure is not where it should be for a man your age.	1.2980	0.03548	245	184	49	12
3812	When you said you were tied up, I thought you were kidding	1.2980	0.03732	245	188	41	16
3813	Well, Adam, we can take care of it this time, but next time choose a fig-leaf.	1.2980	0.03641	245	186	45	14
3814	Um … since your holistic approach isn't working, let's try milk of magnesia.	1.2979	0.03794	235	180	40	15
3815	I’m going to have to run some tests.	1.2979	0.03746	235	179	42	14
3816	Wow! You've got the biggest asp I've ever treated!	1.2979	0.03935	235	183	34	18
3817	We may be overlooking an underlying cause.	1.2979	0.03647	235	177	46	12
3818	And here I was, thinking it was worms.	1.2979	0.03697	235	178	44	13
3819	Now please shed your skin and step on the scale.	1.2979	0.03546	235	175	50	10
3820	As a matter of fact,yes, I do research with lab rats. I just came from the lab. Why do you ask?	1.2979	0.03841	235	181	38	16
3821	As a fashion statement, I suggest a turtle neck.	1.2979	0.03981	235	184	32	19
3822	He seems to have a crush on you, but I think you're a little too big to swallow.	1.2979	0.03647	235	177	46	12
3823	You may feel a little pressure.	1.2979	0.03442	235	173	54	8
3824	Yes, it is serious but I think we caught it in time.	1.2978	0.03755	225	170	43	12
3825	Occupation ... ?	1.2977	0.03603	262	201	44	17
3826	The tests came back, and we can rule out COPD.	1.2977	0.03871	215	163	40	12
3827	I'm prescribing antidepressants.	1.2976	0.03786	252	196	37	19
3828	Any tingling, fever or shortness of breath?	1.2976	0.03615	252	192	45	15
3829	So the pain is...where?	1.2976	0.03571	252	191	47	14
3830	That means it likes you.	1.2976	0.03571	252	191	47	14
3831	So, how long have you been experiencing this tightness in your chest?	1.2976	0.03744	252	195	39	18
3832	When did you first notice breathing difficulties?	1.2975	0.03763	242	186	40	16
3833	the good news is, it appears to be growing slowly.	1.2975	0.03624	242	183	46	13
3834	Call me old-fashioned, but I don't consider this new 'cuddle therapy' trend to be medically viable.	1.2975	0.03624	242	183	46	13
3835	You were supposed to use the fig leaf.	1.2974	0.03827	232	178	39	15
3836	Do you feel safe at home?	1.2974	0.03875	232	179	37	16
3837	A prescription for snake oil should take care of it	1.2974	0.03678	232	175	45	12
3838	Rest assured, your pet python's health is not in danger if he swallows you.	1.2974	0.03537	269	206	46	17
3839	What brought you here today and why does it concern you?	1.2973	0.03792	259	203	35	21
3840	Looks like you may be living with some constrictions	1.2973	0.03419	259	194	53	12
3841	I don’t see a medical code that I can submit to ensure that your insurance will cover this.	1.2973	0.03505	259	196	49	14
3842	Everything came back normal, but your pressure’s a little high.”	1.2973	0.03375	259	193	55	11
3843	Uh-uh... and when did the chest tightness start?	1.2973	0.03505	259	196	49	14
3844	I notice you're scheduled for your flu shot .	1.2973	0.03505	259	196	49	14
3845	I see , you are suffering from the Full Monty.	1.2973	0.03590	259	198	45	16
3846	We’ll need to wait for the tests to confirm...but I’ve got a pretty good idea about what’s restricting your breathing	1.2973	0.03894	222	170	38	14
3847	I am prescribing a generic snake charmer.	1.2972	0.03688	249	191	42	16
3848	Are you having difficulty focusing or concentrating?	1.2972	0.03644	249	190	44	15
3849	well,at least that nasty worm is no longer in your colon	1.2972	0.03688	249	191	42	16
3850	We can book you a week from Tuesday--unless, of course, you've been swallowed by then.	1.2971	0.03475	276	211	48	17
3851	Let's have you stand on the scales."	1.2971	0.03701	239	182	43	14
3852	So, when did this feeling of pressure in yor chest start?	1.2971	0.03556	239	179	49	11
3853	Just take two asps and call me in the morning.	1.2971	0.03795	239	184	39	16
3854	We'll run a blood test and x-rays, but back pain is often entirely psychological.	1.2969	0.03709	229	173	44	12
3855	And are you having any trouble breathing?	1.2969	0.04006	229	179	32	18
3856	Some snake oil should do the trick.	1.2969	0.03709	229	173	44	12
3857	Please describe your symptoms in detail.	1.2969	0.03618	256	196	44	16
3858	Before we try and unravel what’s ailing you, Adam, tell me a little about your family’s history ....	1.2969	0.03532	256	194	48	14
3859	You know, the lap band does this from the inside.	1.2968	0.03653	219	163	47	9
3860	The parts of you that I can see look pretty healthy	1.2967	0.03582	246	186	47	13
3861	Alright now, take a deep breath	1.2967	0.03488	246	184	51	11
3862	First we will find you a snake charmer, THEN we can worry about your shoes.	1.2967	0.03440	246	183	53	10
3863	I'm fairly certin that you have Calabar Python, but I am refering you to a herpetologist for a second opinion	1.2967	0.03576	273	211	43	19
3864	As I’ve said before, the tightness in your chest is just anxiety.	1.2966	0.03634	236	178	46	12
3865	Not to worry, it's just something that's going around this season....around and around and around.	1.2966	0.03584	236	177	48	11
3866	I’ll describe her as an emotional support boa.	1.2966	0.03634	236	178	46	12
3867	And how long have you been feeling this pressure?	1.2965	0.03740	226	171	43	12
3868	So your chief complaint is entanglement?	1.2965	0.03844	226	173	39	14
3869	And where’s the apple?	1.2965	0.03844	226	173	39	14
3870	I want to run some tests to make sure your chest pains aren't something serious.	1.2964	0.03424	253	189	53	11
3871	It’s my homeopathic cure for that frog in your throat.	1.2964	0.03559	253	192	47	14
3872	I'm referring you to a Pet Psychiatrist for Snuggles. I think we may have a case of separation anxiety.	1.2964	0.03689	253	195	41	17
3873	My prescription may seem somewhat cold-blooded.	1.2964	0.03332	253	187	57	9
3874	It started when she offered you an apple	1.2964	0.03364	280	212	53	15
3875	With this condition,having constricting chest pain is to be expected.	1.2963	0.03799	216	163	42	11
3876	You're the third one today.	1.2963	0.03658	243	185	44	14
3877	So, it says here you've been feeling some tightness in your chest---	1.2963	0.03704	243	186	42	15
3878	Well Mr. Houdini, you can't expect every trick to work every time.	1.2963	0.03704	243	186	42	15
3879	So, how long have you felt this pressure?	1.2963	0.03704	243	186	42	15
3880	Gained some weight...any other issues?	1.2963	0.03563	243	183	48	12
3881	We’ll need to run some tests.	1.2963	0.03749	243	187	40	16
3882	Yes, feeling hugged all the time can lower your blood pressure, technically.	1.2963	0.03799	216	163	42	11
3883	This prescription will relieve shedding skin.	1.2963	0.03704	243	186	42	15
3884	Well. It is not Elephantiasis.	1.2962	0.03408	260	195	53	12
3885	To complete our diagnosis, we need to know how you took your shirt off in that condition.	1.2962	0.03619	260	200	43	17
3886	It's our homeopathic remedy for constipation.	1.2961	0.03908	233	181	35	17
3887	You seem a bit wound-up today. What seems to be the problem?	1.2961	0.03664	233	176	45	12
3888	It's very simple... You're not feeding him enough.	1.2961	0.03812	233	179	39	15
3889	Once you are down to your desired weight, I’d advise stop feeding the snake	1.2961	0.03664	233	176	45	12
3890	Do you remember what you were doing when you first noticed the tightness?	1.2960	0.03719	250	193	40	17
3891	Take two asps around and call me in the morning.	1.2960	0.03676	250	192	42	16
3892	Your breathing is labored? Let's order a battery of tests."	1.2960	0.03888	250	197	32	21
3893	So, other than feeling chest compression, what other complaints do you have?	1.2960	0.03773	223	169	42	12
3894	I'm going to prescribe you an antidepressant.	1.2959	0.03552	267	205	45	17
3895	Well, it’s one way to stop smoking.	1.2959	0.03348	267	200	55	12
3896	I'm a hamster man myself.	1.2959	0.03513	267	204	47	16
3897	Cramping is common with your condition.	1.2958	0.03443	240	178	53	9
3898	Have you tried putting mice in it?	1.2958	0.03640	240	182	45	13
3899	The good news isn’t that the tightening in your chest is not due to a heart attack . . .	1.2958	0.03640	240	182	45	13
3900	Fortunately, the duration of symptoms should be short.	1.2957	0.03388	257	192	54	11
3901	I swear, I thought it would be like sleeping with my dog	1.2957	0.03204	257	188	62	7
3902	Did you contract anything else on your trip to the Amazon?	1.2955	0.03429	247	184	53	10
3903	Any family hissstory?	1.2955	0.03879	247	194	33	20
3904	Are you sure high blood pressure doesn’t run in your family?	1.2955	0.03570	247	187	47	13
3905	When did you first notice the breathing problem?	1.2955	0.03793	247	192	37	18
3906	Your plan limits you to two of these per year.	1.2955	0.03415	264	199	52	13
3907	And how long have you had this “constricted” feeling?	1.2955	0.03751	220	166	43	11
3908	On the bright side, your heart looks healthy	1.2954	0.03428	281	215	49	17
3909	I can prescribe a muscle relaxant.	1.2954	0.03311	237	173	58	6
3910	So... hoarseness, vocal fatigue, throat clearing, anything else ?	1.2954	0.03670	237	180	44	13
3911	Is there anything I haven't asked you?	1.2954	0.03621	237	179	46	12
3912	Well, Mr. Snake. What seems to be the trouble today?	1.2954	0.03718	237	181	42	14
3913	No, it's shingles.	1.2953	0.03676	254	196	41	17
3914	Unfortunately I can’t make referrals to herpetologists.	1.2952	0.03592	271	210	42	19
3915	So how long have you felt this tightness in your chest?	1.2952	0.03829	227	174	39	14
3916	I have an oil that will take care of that.	1.2952	0.03829	227	174	39	14
3917	Start with a dozen Tums. Or two dozen if you swallow someone bigger.	1.2952	0.03829	227	174	39	14
3918	Well lets stop the cream for the ringworm.	1.2952	0.03829	227	174	39	14
3919	Now for the bad news...	1.2952	0.03673	227	171	45	11
3920	No problem. It’s fashion week.	1.2952	0.03778	227	173	41	13
3921	Crushing chest pain, I see	1.2951	0.03645	244	186	44	14
3922	YOU'RE fine but Pickles there needs to work on his cholesterol.	1.2951	0.03598	244	185	46	13
3923	Let's discuss separation anxiety.	1.2950	0.03353	261	195	55	11
3924	Your blood is a bit cold, but everything else looks normal!	1.2950	0.03396	261	196	53	12
3925	Take an aspirin, and coil me tomorrow	1.2949	0.04003	217	168	34	15
3926	This isn't even the worst thing that happened today	1.2949	0.03611	217	161	48	8
3927	So you say something has gotten a hold of you?	1.2949	0.03611	217	161	48	8
3928	I can see you're covered by insurance that constricts your options.	1.2949	0.03444	234	173	53	8
3929	You really need to be more careful about what you order on line	1.2949	0.03700	234	178	43	13
3930	What I am seeing is some constriction in the chest area.	1.2949	0.03600	234	176	47	11
3931	Oh, and the results of the first test came back; it doesn't seem to be an internal issue.	1.2949	0.03650	234	177	45	12
3932	How long have you had tightness in your chest?	1.2948	0.03706	251	194	40	17
3933	It's a new non-invasive procedure...	1.2948	0.03438	251	188	52	11
3934	The results are conclusive - you're a Slytherin!	1.2948	0.03663	251	193	42	16
3935	If Monty the Python can't tell me this is consensual, I'm calling the ASPCA.	1.2948	0.03706	251	194	40	17
3936	I'll come back once you put on one of the hospital gowns.	1.2948	0.03461	268	204	49	15
3937	I'm afraid that penis enhancement drug was too successful!	1.2948	0.03541	268	206	45	17
3938	I think a couple's therapist would be more helpful than a physician.	1.2946	0.03811	224	171	40	13
3939	Beans every day snake goes away.	1.2946	0.03595	224	167	48	9
3940	The good news is you won't be needing that planned Gastric Bypass Surgery!	1.2946	0.03705	224	169	44	11
3941	It's not "work stress" Mr. Whorton.	1.2946	0.03705	224	169	44	11
3942	And how long have you felt this shortness of breath?	1.2946	0.03721	241	185	41	15
3943	Charmed, I am sure”	1.2946	0.03627	241	183	45	13
3944	Nothing to worry about; it's just affectionate.	1.2946	0.03627	241	183	45	13
3945	Yes, I believe in alternative therapies ... why do you ask?	1.2946	0.03579	241	182	47	12
3946	Any other phobias you’re being treated for?	1.2946	0.03767	241	186	39	16
3947	I can refer you to a great dermatologist to shed that extra skin.	1.2946	0.03508	258	196	48	14
3948	I'm sorry, the nurse should have told you up front... no pets.	1.2944	0.03987	214	165	35	14
3949	So you said it feels like a "squeezing sensation"?	1.2944	0.03629	231	174	46	11
3950	You seem to have an advanced case of anaconda.	1.2944	0.03629	231	174	46	11
3951	I want to rule out Eboa virus.	1.2944	0.03557	248	188	47	13
3952	Mine prefers mice.	1.2944	0.03320	248	183	57	8
3953	I've heard of a frog in your throat, but this is a new one.	1.2944	0.03692	248	191	41	16
3954	So feeling some tightness in the chest? Any other symtoms?	1.2944	0.03648	248	190	43	15
3955	After some tests, we have concluded that that growth may be life threatening.	1.2944	0.03417	248	185	53	10
3956	You're my third patient today to walk in with a student loan	1.2943	0.03607	265	205	42	18
3957	Do your symptoms include shortness of breath?	1.2943	0.03361	265	199	54	12
3958	There _are_ alternatives to lap-band surgery.	1.2941	0.03608	238	180	46	12
3959	Your tapeworm condition has gotten much worse	1.2941	0.03799	238	184	38	16
3960	Yes, our process for taking your blood pressure has been altered slightly.	1.2941	0.03558	238	179	48	11
3961	I'm sorry Adam, but I'm not in-network for Eden."	1.2941	0.03578	255	195	45	15
3962	Worst case scenario, Adam, is you and and Eve'll have to move out and get jobs.	1.2941	0.03705	238	182	42	14
3963	Unfortunately, your insurance company has classified this as a pre-existing condition and will not cover it.	1.2941	0.03608	238	180	46	12
3964	Common side effects include mood changes, shortness of breath, and insomnia.	1.2941	0.03608	238	180	46	12
3965	I see... body aches and tightness in your chest. Well, sir, I think you have the flu.	1.2941	0.03747	255	199	37	19
3966	Have you noticed any changes since your last appointment?	1.2941	0.03737	221	167	43	11
3967	So tell me more about this tightness in your chest.	1.2941	0.03558	238	179	48	11
3968	I'll give you something for the tightness in your chest.	1.2941	0.03535	255	194	47	14
3969	On a scale of 1 to 10, how squeezed do you feel?	1.2941	0.03578	255	195	45	15
3970	I figured out why you're feeling constipated.	1.2941	0.03578	255	195	45	15
3971	Doctor I feel constricted.	1.2941	0.03692	272	214	36	22
3972	Yeah... but it's still better than the old prostate exam.	1.2941	0.03491	255	193	49	13
3973	You say it feels like a snake crushing your chest?	1.2939	0.03428	262	198	51	13
3974	But on the positive side, boas have long been a popular fashion statement	1.2939	0.03595	262	202	43	17
3975	The nurse says you’re reporting some tightness in your chest. I think we need to do some tests.	1.2939	0.03595	262	202	43	17
3976	The good news is, you’re only the second-worst snake charmer I’ve ever seen.	1.2939	0.03898	245	193	32	20
3977	Do you really hate putting on the gown that much?	1.2939	0.03491	245	184	50	11
3978	Do you have any difficulty swallowing? And you, sir?	1.2939	0.03393	245	182	54	9
3979	hmmm...you say your are experiencing a tightness of the chest, heavy pressure, squeezing and crushing pain? Sounds like a heart attack to me.	1.2939	0.03677	245	188	42	15
3980	I know it's unusual, but I'd reccomend a hiss-terectomy.	1.2939	0.03491	245	184	50	11
3981	Our new treatment for bloating is organic and effective.	1.2939	0.03764	228	174	41	13
3982	Should have just taken the apple...would have kept me away...	1.2939	0.03865	228	176	37	15
3983	Well, we've ruled out a tapeworm...	1.2938	0.03911	211	161	38	12
3984	On the plus side, your diet's going great.	1.2937	0.03562	252	192	46	14
3985	I'm afraid you'll need to shed more than just a few pounds.	1.2937	0.03650	252	194	42	16
3986	It's okay -- he just likes you.	1.2937	0.03472	252	190	50	12
3987	That outfit is to die for!	1.2936	0.03784	235	181	39	15
3988	Now let’s discuss some possible side affects with constrictor therapy...	1.2936	0.03784	235	181	39	15
3989	So, exactly how long have you been experiencing this pressure in your chest?	1.2936	0.03637	235	178	45	12
3990	OK, it says here that you're experiencing 'upper body constriction'.	1.2936	0.03879	235	183	35	17
3991	How long have you had this tightness in your chest?	1.2936	0.03597	218	162	48	8
3992	I can treat him for the rash, but I'm afraid the constricting is just part of his nature.	1.2936	0.03655	218	163	46	9
3993	I see you're having trouble swallowing.	1.2936	0.03478	218	160	52	6
3994	Sir, that is a boa constrictor not a python.	1.2934	0.03454	259	196	50	13
3995	Have you experienced any tightness in your chest?	1.2934	0.03539	259	198	46	15
3996	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for one of you. Magnetic Reptile Imaging will help us decide who gets it.	1.2934	0.03754	242	187	39	16
3997	I think I have an idea where the tightness in your chest is coming from.	1.2934	0.03844	242	189	35	18
3998	Mr. Adams, you have what we call an abnormal constriction of your airway.	1.2933	0.03848	225	173	38	14
3999	And tell me, how long have you had this tightness in your chest?	1.2933	0.03525	225	167	50	8
4000	Well, Mr. Mowgli, we do things a little different here in the big city.	1.2932	0.03475	266	203	48	15
4001	When you called about a squeezing sensation in your abdomen, I admit I was envisioning something entirely different.	1.2932	0.03393	266	201	52	13
4002	It's a common symptom in the West Wing.	1.2932	0.03265	266	198	58	10
4003	We need proof of the snake's insurance.	1.2932	0.03452	249	187	51	11
4004	Have you thought about taking up the flute?	1.2932	0.03545	249	189	47	13
4005	Just because it's one of the symbols of medicine doesn't mean it can't hurt you.	1.2931	0.03667	232	176	44	12
4006	No, I'm quite certain it's Er-reptile Dysfunction, although you should still be embarrassed telling your wife.	1.2931	0.04054	232	184	28	20
4007	Ok, so you can go ahead and hop down and we’ll get you into X Ray	1.2930	0.03803	215	163	41	11
4008	Next time, I'm going to recommend you leave your service snake in the car.	1.2930	0.03566	256	196	45	15
4009	Well, look at it this way--it's short-term COBRA.	1.2930	0.03609	256	197	43	16
4010	Lets see here...are you having any difficulty breathing...tightening of the chest?	1.2930	0.03523	256	195	47	14
4011	As long as you don't breathe you should be fine.	1.2930	0.03479	256	194	49	13
4012	Well, since the leeches didn't work. This is the next logical step.	1.2929	0.03445	239	178	52	9
4013	This muscle relaxant should help you unwind.	1.2929	0.03495	239	179	50	10
4014	The tightness in the chest is normal.	1.2929	0.03495	239	179	50	10
4015	Good news: I'm circling in on the cause of your shortness of breath.	1.2929	0.03738	239	184	40	15
4016	Let's wait and see how you feel after he passes you through his digestive system..	1.2929	0.03445	239	178	52	9
4017	We normally prescribe digitalis for chest tightness but in your case we might want to look at other remedies.	1.2928	0.03667	222	167	45	10
4018	I'm sorry sir but this isn't on your health plan	1.2928	0.03830	222	170	39	13
4019	Would you prefer I write the prescription for you, or for the snake?	1.2928	0.03883	222	171	37	14
4020	So you're sure you want to go with the stomach stapling option instead? It's more invasive, you know...	1.2928	0.03667	222	167	45	10
4021	In the past two weeks, have you been feeling compressed or hopeless?	1.2928	0.03776	222	169	41	12
4022	'"Yeah, I don't shake hands either. Germs.	1.2928	0.03501	263	201	47	15
4023	I'm prescribing a laxative for Slinky and a muscle relaxer for you.	1.2927	0.03526	246	186	48	12
4024	So when did you first notice the pain in the asp?	1.2927	0.03754	246	191	38	17
4025	I think I've found the cause of your chest pain.	1.2927	0.03409	287	221	48	18
4026	Your problem is that you're too tightly wound.	1.2926	0.03439	270	206	49	15
4027	It’s called “Me Too” and, Adam, you’re in for some big trouble.	1.2926	0.03800	229	176	39	14
4028	When was the last time you had an uncoilonoscopy?	1.2926	0.03800	229	176	39	14
4029	I know you work at the zoo, but you're a little too wrapped up in your work.	1.2926	0.03698	229	174	43	12
4030	Congressman, I'd avoid the swamp if I were you.	1.2925	0.03765	253	198	36	19
4031	So your intention was to buy a feathered boa?	1.2925	0.03461	253	191	50	12
4032	This is our new, highly experimental full-body blood-pressure test.	1.2924	0.03722	236	181	41	14
4033	-OK, Let's see what we got here mister...? -Adam. -Adam...? -Just Adam.	1.2924	0.03574	236	178	47	11
4034	I don’t think he wants to be your emotional support animal any longer.	1.2924	0.03419	236	175	53	8
4035	I’m referring you to a herpetologist but he’s out-of-network	1.2924	0.03770	236	182	39	15
4036	Would it make a difference if I told you that you don't look good in a boa?	1.2924	0.03865	236	184	35	17
4037	I see you’ve met my nurse.	1.2924	0.03673	236	180	43	13
4038	I might suggest a veterinarian at this point.	1.2924	0.03818	236	183	37	16
4039	It says here, you're experiencing shortness of breath.	1.2924	0.03366	236	174	55	7
4040	So then what happened after you said "here, hold my beer"?	1.2924	0.03574	236	178	47	11
4041	I'm doing the 'try not to laugh' challenge myself.	1.2923	0.03527	260	199	46	15
4042	I'm not sure snake oil will do it.	1.2923	0.03355	260	195	54	11
4043	And when exactly did the tightness in your chest start?	1.2923	0.03611	260	201	42	17
4044	So, the first thing I see on your chart is that your cholesterol level is quite high.	1.2923	0.03611	260	201	42	17
4045	So what other diet restrictions do you have?	1.2923	0.03527	260	199	46	15
4046	Sorry, your policy does not cover this.	1.2922	0.03918	219	169	36	14
4047	Do you have any symptoms other than tightness in the chest?	1.2922	0.03553	243	184	47	12
4048	Did the muscle spasms begin before of after your vacation in Burma?	1.2922	0.03694	243	187	41	15
4049	A birthday gift from my wife. She said it' expresses how I make her feel.	1.2920	0.03456	226	167	52	7
4050	You're right. You are allergic to snakeskin.	1.2920	0.03729	226	172	42	12
4051	I see your health insurance carrier requires pre-authorization before we can begin treatment...	1.2920	0.03782	226	173	40	13
4052	Sir I can't help if the snake is uninsured.	1.2920	0.03935	226	176	34	16
4053	No, Jim, the tiny red patch on your left forearm is not cancerous.	1.2920	0.03984	226	177	32	17
4054	You wanted an emotional support animal. Medicine isn't perfect.	1.2920	0.03622	250	192	43	15
4055	Your plan only covers snakebites. I'll see you in a few days?	1.2920	0.03666	250	193	41	16
4056	I see, I see... Any shortness of breath?	1.2920	0.03440	250	188	51	11
4057	Yes, yes, soon your leg will go numb and then we can make the incision.	1.2919	0.03932	209	160	37	12
4058	You know, these fad diets never work.	1.2918	0.03498	233	174	50	9
4059	How long have you felt this tightness?	1.2918	0.03654	233	177	44	12
4060	So, the inhaler didn't work.	1.2918	0.03468	257	195	49	13
4061	I'm sorry. It's cancer.	1.2918	0.03680	257	200	39	18
4062	Tell me more about the tightness in your chest, Mr. Bartholomew.	1.2918	0.03639	257	199	41	17
4063	Nasty case of ringworm you have there, Mr. Stevens.	1.2917	0.03630	240	183	44	13
4064	You need a specialist...I’m sending you to a herpetologist	1.2917	0.03489	264	202	47	15
4065	Opiods will only mask the symptoms. You need to have this thing removed.	1.2917	0.03582	240	182	46	12
4066	Have you felt any shortness of breath lately?	1.2917	0.03844	216	165	39	12
4067	Hmm- I don't like the looks of that eye	1.2917	0.03678	240	184	42	14
4068	The good news is you are losing weight.	1.2917	0.03672	216	162	45	9
4069	I’m sorry but it appears you declined the optional one dollar per year boa constrictor coverage.	1.2915	0.03584	271	211	41	19
4070	I'm sure he's fine, Mr. Jones. Boas can get very clingy at certain times of year. Not to worry.	1.2915	0.03466	247	186	50	11
4071	What part of "unwind" don't you understand?	1.2915	0.03560	247	188	46	13
4072	Honestly, I'm just glad it's not another vacuum cleaner.	1.2915	0.03419	247	185	52	10
4073	Tightness of the chest is a normal side effect.	1.2915	0.03762	223	170	41	12
4074	Yes, well, some progress to report: there's no sign of the elephant in the room.	1.2915	0.03815	223	171	39	13
4075	Wait a bit and try to remember the safe word.	1.2914	0.03407	278	213	49	16
4076	I'm going to recommend you try a hula hoop instead.	1.2914	0.03369	278	212	51	15
4077	I see on the form that you have shortness of breath. About how long has this been going on?	1.2913	0.03538	254	194	46	14
4078	Aside from the snake, your weight seems good. Any other problems? Any alcohol or tobacco use?	1.2913	0.03582	254	195	44	15
4079	Your vitals show that you’re running like a well coiled machine.	1.2913	0.03449	254	192	50	12
4080	As for the sense of constriction, there is such a thing as being too health conscious. You need a way to unwind.	1.2913	0.03472	230	171	51	8
4081	Yes, I can now see I missed that last week. Also, please stop taking the asthma medication I prescribed.	1.2913	0.03786	230	177	39	14
4082	Yeah, let’s go ahead and skip the deep breath in.	1.2913	0.03735	230	176	41	13
4083	Doctor’s orders — no planes.	1.2913	0.03933	230	180	33	17
4084	take a deep breath but don't exhale	1.2912	0.03299	261	195	56	10
4085	I'm afraid your insurance only covers mammal and amphibian attacks.	1.2912	0.03431	261	198	50	13
4086	I told you to REstrict your diet	1.2912	0.03431	261	198	50	13
4087	What’s your family hissssstory	1.2912	0.03557	261	201	44	16
4088	Are you experiencing any shortness of breath?	1.2911	0.03756	237	183	39	15
4089	Well, at least we’ve moved on from using leeches.	1.2910	0.03572	268	208	42	18
4090	Adam, you say you were in the garden with your wife when the serpent appeared?	1.2910	0.03493	268	206	46	16
4091	So you say this began when you said he didn’t spark any joy?	1.2910	0.03681	244	188	41	15
4092	I'm writing you a scrip for snake oil. Two days of treatment and you should feel less constricted.	1.2910	0.03493	244	184	49	11
4093	'You'll want to be acutely aware of any tightness in the chest.'	1.2910	0.03493	244	184	49	11
4094	Do you currently use an inhaler?	1.2910	0.03541	244	185	47	12
4095	Ok, Mr. Jones; now take a deep breath.	1.2910	0.03541	244	185	47	12
4096	My brother is a veterinarian, maybe you should go see him?	1.2909	0.03849	220	169	38	13
4097	Sorry, Larry- your insurance doesn't cover this. Maybe try the vet?	1.2908	0.03520	251	191	47	13
4098	We are going to have to run some test. I have you scheduled for an MRI, colonoscopy, EKG, angiography, and ultrasound. I am also going to put you on lexapro, oxycodone, and viagra just to be safe. No matter the cost, we will identify the issue.	1.2908	0.03654	251	194	41	16
4099	My diagnosis is - you're very tightly wound.	1.2908	0.03475	251	190	49	12
4100	Self-treating anxiety with compression? A weighted blanket might have been a better place to start.	1.2908	0.03297	282	214	54	14
4101	Sorry. Our sphygmomanometer is in the shop.	1.2907	0.03919	227	177	34	16
4102	What was the first symptom?	1.2907	0.03499	258	197	47	14
4103	When did these symptoms begin?	1.2906	0.03640	234	178	44	12
4104	Ok if you are still constipated tomorrow come back in.	1.2906	0.03589	234	177	46	11
4105	We finally found a hospital gown that's less revealing, although some patients have complained it's a little constricting.	1.2906	0.03788	234	181	38	15
4106	Take a couple of mongooses and call me in the morning.	1.2906	0.03352	265	200	53	12
4107	And when did you first notice you were supporting her more than she was supporting you?	1.2906	0.03352	265	200	53	12
4108	Quite serious. I'm recommending you to my zoologist. How's Thursday?	1.2905	0.03973	210	162	35	13
4109	I'm going to give you something for the pain but you need to see a specialist.	1.2905	0.03857	210	160	39	11
4110	It's my professional veterinary opinion that Debby would benefit from having a different heat source.	1.2905	0.03797	210	159	41	10
4111	So, it’s been longer than four hours?	1.2905	0.03849	241	189	34	18
4112	Good news.Your tests came back. The tightness in your chest is definitely not heart-related.	1.2905	0.03803	241	188	36	17
4113	Your labs are good. Still feeling that tightness in your chest?	1.2905	0.03318	241	178	56	7
4114	So, you were at Disney World when you felt a tightening in your chest and started having trouble breathing. Do you happen to remember if this began sometime during the Jungle Cruise?	1.2905	0.03758	241	187	38	16
4115	Constricted breathing you say?	1.2904	0.03336	272	206	53	13
4116	Well, patients were complaining about those open-back gowns, so we're giving these a try.	1.2903	0.03639	248	191	42	15
4117	The lack of feathers didn't strike you as being somewhat odd?	1.2903	0.03593	248	190	44	14
4118	You can tell Eve her "apple-a-day" theory has about as much credibility as snake oil.	1.2903	0.03639	248	191	42	15
4119	Don’t tell my colleagues, but I’m writing you a prescription for snake oil.	1.2903	0.03320	279	212	53	14
4120	How long have you been feeling tightness in the chest?	1.2903	0.03407	248	186	52	10
4121	Is there any family history of being squeezed to death by a boa constrictor?	1.2902	0.03655	255	198	40	17
4122	So, it says here you’re having some chest tightness?	1.2902	0.03346	255	191	54	10
4123	I think you've gone overboard trying to constrict your food intake.	1.2902	0.03392	255	192	52	11
4124	I’m referring you to a specialist.	1.2902	0.03612	255	197	42	16
4125	Before I can do anything, I'll need you both to sign this waiver.	1.2902	0.03156	255	187	62	6
4126	Any pressure in your chest?	1.2902	0.03747	224	171	41	12
4127	Any respiratory issues?	1.2901	0.03376	262	198	52	12
4128	The good news is that the treatment is covered by your wrap-around insurance policy.	1.2901	0.03504	262	201	46	15
4129	So...Adam...when did this snake fetish start?	1.2901	0.03376	262	198	52	12
4130	I'm afraid it's a little more than congestion.	1.2901	0.03198	262	194	60	8
4131	Is this tightness in your chest something new?	1.2900	0.03619	231	175	45	11
4132	Sorry, I'm a hematologist. I'll refer you to an excellent herpetologist.	1.2900	0.03619	231	175	45	11
4133	I'm referring you to one of our top Herpetologists.	1.2900	0.03401	269	205	50	14
4134	Find two herpatoligists and call me in a week.	1.2900	0.03441	269	206	48	15
4135	On the good side, Jungle Jerry’s Hands-On Amazon Adventure is willing to give you a life-time pass.	1.2899	0.03742	238	184	39	15
4136	I’m referring you to a couples counselor.	1.2899	0.03742	238	184	39	15
4137	The last time you were in here, we asked you to do something about the snake.	1.2898	0.03528	245	186	47	12
4138	I initially thought you just had a "frog in your throat." But the tests say this is much worse!	1.2898	0.03283	245	181	57	7
4139	Pressure you say? Take two aspirin and cut the head off that snake.	1.2898	0.03668	245	189	41	15
4140	Have you considered that the problem might not be physical?	1.2898	0.03622	245	188	43	14
4141	I'd stick to the ostrich if I were you Mr Manafort	1.2898	0.03802	245	192	35	18
4142	aaaaand, what is your chief complaint?	1.2898	0.03333	245	182	55	8
4143	So, it looks like you’ve got the full Monty....	1.2897	0.04084	214	168	30	16
4144	Your HMO doesn’t cover anaconda removal sir but I can make a referral.	1.2897	0.03553	252	193	45	14
4145	It may be a new design, but it still opens in the back.	1.2897	0.03641	252	195	41	16
4146	I am sorry to confirm that this is indeed your penis now.	1.2897	0.03641	252	195	41	16
4147	And what is your complaint today?	1.2896	0.03780	221	169	40	12
4148	Now, take a deep breath and hold it.	1.2896	0.03780	221	169	40	12
4149	Well, Mr. Stone, there’s really no cure for karma.	1.2896	0.03940	221	172	34	15
4150	And when did you first notice these symptoms?	1.2896	0.03780	221	169	40	12
4151	It's quite common. I call it Medicare Constriction.	1.2896	0.03530	259	199	45	15
4152	I'd like to change your prescription to feather boa for a few weeks and see if that helps you feel less wound up.	1.2896	0.03530	259	199	45	15
4153	I'm afraid it's acute separation anxiety, Mr Johnson	1.2896	0.03488	259	198	47	14
4154	So, this is looking really good. We'll see you back in a few months.	1.2896	0.03401	259	196	51	12
4155	And would you say your chest tightness has been getting progressively worse?	1.2895	0.03804	228	176	38	14
4156	So, you say it all started with an argument over the remote?	1.2895	0.03425	266	203	49	14
4157	You said it was recommended by "Goop"?	1.2895	0.03666	266	209	37	20
4158	When did the coiling start?	1.2895	0.03704	266	210	35	21
4159	It will take some time,but I do think a course of mindfulness meditation will release some of the tension you feel	1.2894	0.03822	235	183	36	16
4160	So, your pet snake hates it when you bring her to the vet, and she's retaliated by dragging you here for your annual rectal exam?	1.2894	0.03774	235	182	38	15
4161	I'm recording here that your major complaints are stiff neck and limited mobility of your arms.	1.2894	0.03676	235	180	42	13
4162	So, chest pains, tightness and a choking sensation you say? I think I see the problem.	1.2894	0.03627	235	179	44	12
4163	All your tests seem normal. How have you been eating?	1.2894	0.03576	235	178	46	11
4164	Well I think we can rule out allergies	1.2894	0.03676	235	180	42	13
4165	If you think this is bad, try not paying your bill.	1.2893	0.03461	280	217	45	18
4166	Frankly, I don’t think the additional weight on your knees is the problem.	1.2893	0.03651	242	186	42	14
4167	Is this a precondition or a new health event?	1.2893	0.03651	242	186	42	14
4168	Okay... Hmm... So what are you in for?	1.2893	0.03698	242	187	40	15
4169	I have bad news and worse news.	1.2893	0.03604	242	185	44	13
4170	So what brings you in today, Mr Mouseman?	1.2892	0.04050	204	158	33	13
4171	Have you been travelling recently?	1.2892	0.03489	249	189	48	12
4172	Let's start with a lengthy review of your family history.	1.2892	0.03395	249	187	52	10
4173	Oxycontin...sixty tablets...three refills...Okay you're free to go!	1.2892	0.03800	249	196	34	19
4174	Wow Mr. Jones, you really ARE wound up tight!	1.2892	0.03581	249	191	44	14
4175	So you say this has helped you reduce your calorie intake?	1.2891	0.03660	211	158	45	8
4176	I wasn’t going to come in, but Web MD said shortness of breath was cause for concern.	1.2891	0.03726	256	201	36	19
4177	HIPPA constricts what I can say in front of your pet	1.2891	0.03335	256	192	54	10
4178	Seems to me you'll need to remove that man to ever get back to your original length.	1.2890	0.03868	218	168	37	13
4179	Your insurance suggests that we start with physical therapy first.	1.2890	0.03233	263	196	58	9
4180	The test results show a dangerous rise in your blood pressure since your last appointment.	1.2889	0.03514	225	168	49	8
4181	I prescribe a series of deep breathing exercises!	1.2889	0.03679	225	171	43	11
4182	I think we are looking at more than arterial constriction here.	1.2889	0.03625	225	170	45	10
4183	Would you say it's being passive or aggressive right now?	1.2889	0.03733	225	172	41	12
4184	Snake oil might do you some good.	1.2888	0.03371	277	212	50	15
4185	I'm prescribing one mouse twice weekly for your natural compression therapy.	1.2888	0.03553	232	175	47	10
4186	The first thing you'll need to do is give up gardening.	1.2888	0.03757	232	179	39	14
4187	OK - so you will let him go if he eats the apple?	1.2888	0.03656	232	177	43	12
4188	No, you definitely don’t have a tape worm but this one will eventually cause significant weight loss.	1.2887	0.03434	239	179	51	9
4189	Well, that wraps it up. Any other questions?	1.2887	0.03729	239	185	39	15
4190	Sit tight. Your results will be ready in a couple hours.	1.2887	0.03485	239	180	49	10
4191	Says here you’re covered by Mutual of Omaha.	1.2886	0.03745	246	192	37	17
4192	Why yes, your blood pressure is a bit elevated, but it's unclear why.	1.2886	0.03516	246	187	47	12
4193	You said it's a tightness in your chest?	1.2886	0.03563	246	188	45	13
4194	The snake is in amazingly good health - and will be for the rest of his term and beyond.	1.2885	0.03628	253	196	41	16
4195	When I suggested you wrap a boa on your neck to help you when you're feeling cold, I think you misunderstood.	1.2885	0.03671	253	197	39	17
4196	Your snake is suffering from severe insecurity.	1.2885	0.03518	260	200	45	15
4197	I'd say the definition of service animal has gotten less restrictive."	1.2885	0.03433	260	198	49	13
4198	Now, about that tightness in your chest.	1.2884	0.03536	267	207	43	17
4199	The snake needs to unwind. I'm prescribing Klonopin.	1.2884	0.03692	267	211	35	21
4200	Is anyone else in your family experiencing chest tightness?	1.2883	0.03473	274	212	45	17
4201	Sorry, I can't prescribe snake oil.	1.2883	0.03872	222	172	36	14
4202	I'm going to prescribe you some asp-pirin.	1.2883	0.03765	222	170	40	12
4203	On the bright side, you will lose 50 pounds.	1.2882	0.03582	229	173	46	10
4204	So, what brings you here today, Glycon?	1.2882	0.03687	229	175	42	12
4205	So you were under a tree completely naked and this here fella just dropped in.	1.2881	0.03855	236	185	34	17
4206	Are you under any stress at all?	1.2881	0.03663	236	181	42	13
4207	When did you first notice a problem breathing?	1.2881	0.03760	236	183	38	15
4208	Well that’s a wrap.	1.2881	0.03776	243	190	36	17
4209	And when do you think this onset of anxiety began?	1.2881	0.03638	243	187	42	14
4210	We treat depression, not compression.	1.2881	0.03446	243	183	50	10
4211	Any allergies to venom ?	1.2880	0.03477	250	190	48	12
4212	I’ve been feeling a little constricted.	1.2880	0.03829	250	198	32	20
4213	Let’s test how long you can hold your breath!	1.2879	0.03458	257	196	48	13
4214	I can’t explain the tightness you’re feeling across your chest. Your cardiogram is normal. Why don’t you just take is easy, relax and unwind.	1.2879	0.03502	257	197	46	14
4215	Yes, laxatives also work, but the side effects are fewer with this method.	1.2879	0.03184	257	190	60	7
4216	The tests for asthma came back negative.	1.2879	0.03324	257	193	54	10
4217	Due to the cold weather I'm going to prescribe you another snake for your legs.	1.2879	0.03630	257	200	40	17
4218	Next time, specify FEATHER boa.	1.2879	0.03458	257	196	48	13
4219	There are tapeworms, and then there are tapeworms.	1.2878	0.03338	271	206	52	13
4220	Something is constricting your blood flow, so I'm going to send you over to the lab to run some tests.	1.2878	0.03614	271	213	38	20
4221	So when did this tightness in your lungs begin?	1.2878	0.03459	271	209	46	16
4222	So you live all the way down in Eden, huh	1.2878	0.03725	205	154	43	8
4223	Your blood pressure is elevated. I’d like to run some tests.	1.2878	0.03162	278	208	60	10
4224	Not to worry. My last patient was an elephant and he was inside.	1.2878	0.03203	278	209	58	11
4225	You say until this happened you had a good relationship?	1.2877	0.03940	212	164	35	13
4226	You'll be OK. Take one mongoose each morning with breakfast.	1.2877	0.03798	219	168	39	12
4227	We'll run an EKG to check out that tightening in your chest.	1.2877	0.03512	219	163	49	7
4228	It will gradually go away.	1.2877	0.03798	219	168	39	12
4229	I'd say you got yourself a closet full of new shoes.	1.2877	0.03743	219	167	41	11
4230	Have you done any recent travelling?	1.2877	0.03686	219	166	43	10
4231	Have you gotten your flu shot yet?	1.2877	0.03853	219	169	37	13
4232	We need to talk about your blood pressure.	1.2876	0.03665	226	172	43	11
4233	I am not sure this is covered by the A.C.A, but try calling the A.S.P.C.A	1.2876	0.03611	226	171	45	10
4234	I'm sorry, but your "pain in the asp" complaint is wrong. The snake seems just fine.	1.2876	0.03665	226	172	43	11
4235	Everything looks just fine. I’ll Just give him his rabies shot and you’re good to go.	1.2876	0.03665	226	172	43	11
4236	Tightness in your chest you say!	1.2876	0.03888	233	183	33	17
4237	I've heard a lot of excuses for not exercising, but this is a first.	1.2876	0.03693	233	179	41	13
4238	You feel constricted, you say?	1.2875	0.03472	240	181	49	10
4239	He says your blood pressure is a little high.	1.2875	0.03668	240	185	41	14
4240	...and as for that feeling of pressure, I'm afraid we'll need a few more tests.	1.2875	0.03762	240	187	37	16
4241	Next time just be prepared with some pants.	1.2875	0.03620	240	184	43	13
4242	I am just going to take down your Hiss-story.	1.2875	0.03571	240	183	45	12
4243	Okay, first let's get your vitals. How tall were you before today?	1.2875	0.03422	240	180	51	9
4244	Your cholesterol's a little high.	1.2875	0.03571	240	183	45	12
4245	A mild laxative would have been easier on your system.	1.2875	0.03522	240	182	47	11
4246	Your blood pressure is up.	1.2875	0.03571	240	183	45	12
4247	And what, exactly, are your symptoms?	1.2874	0.03408	247	186	51	10
4248	I would suggest a pet rat might release his tension.	1.2874	0.03394	254	192	51	11
4249	I'll have to postpone your rectal exam again until we get this blood pressure under control.	1.2874	0.03484	254	194	47	13
4250	So this should take care of your white rat phobia. If not, we probably ought to both see a psychiatrist.	1.2874	0.03590	261	203	41	17
4251	"My expert opinion is you'll shed that snake by tomorrow evening at the latest."	1.2874	0.03199	261	194	59	8
4252	As a 3rd year medical student, I just Googled "Compressive Chest Pain" and am convienced that you are having a heart attack.	1.2870	0.03943	216	168	34	14
4253	So, you feel a tightness in your chest. Any other symptoms?	1.2870	0.03724	230	177	40	13
4254	I'm referring you to a snake-oil salesman I know.	1.2870	0.03775	230	178	38	14
4255	Bad news, a pythonectomy isn't covered by your insurance.	1.2869	0.03550	237	180	46	11
4256	I'm noting your concern about the prostate exam.	1.2869	0.03746	237	184	38	15
4257	The Anaconda Diet is worth a try	1.2869	0.03762	244	191	36	17
4258	When did the chest pains start?	1.2869	0.03434	244	184	50	10
4259	... any dryness of the skin, heart palpitations or general anxiety?	1.2869	0.03625	244	188	42	14
4260	OK.... So you filled in OCCUPATION as 'Charmer'.....How long have you been doing it' ?	1.2869	0.03334	244	182	54	8
4261	Take an apple and call me in the morning	1.2869	0.03625	244	188	42	14
4262	I’m afraid you’re going to need a hissssssterectomy.	1.2869	0.03851	244	193	32	19
4263	I understand you're suffering from chest pain.	1.2869	0.03531	244	186	46	12
4264	I can see how this would effect your guitar playing....	1.2869	0.03644	251	195	40	16
4265	Do you have any quality of life issues?	1.2869	0.03419	251	190	50	11
4266	I have bad news and good: the good news is that he's not eaten you yet.....	1.2869	0.03556	251	193	44	14
4267	I'm afraid the tightness around the chest might be a pre-existing condition.	1.2869	0.03276	251	187	56	8
4268	Your EKG is normal, so that chest tightness should resolve on its own.	1.2869	0.03465	251	191	48	12
4269	Your tests are normal, just slightly high blood pressure.	1.2868	0.03221	258	192	58	8
4270	Right, ummm, okay, let's see, so it says here you've been experiencing slight constriction in the neck, chest, and waist regions?	1.2868	0.03403	258	196	50	12
4271	Sorry, I don't know how to code "mortal coil" on the examination form.	1.2868	0.03533	258	199	44	15
4272	Well,I guess that about wraps it up.	1.2868	0.03591	265	207	40	18
4273	Good news! You are not having a heart attack. It probably is just the snake trying to crush your chest.	1.2868	0.03203	272	204	58	10
4274	We can fix this...but in the future stick with FEATHER boas.	1.2864	0.03924	213	165	35	13
4275	Have you tried an inhaler?	1.2863	0.03597	227	172	45	10
4276	Have you noticed anything in particular that prompts the wheezing?	1.2863	0.03808	227	176	37	14
4277	Looks like you're in a bit of a bind.	1.2863	0.03756	227	175	39	13
4278	So, exactly what part of the boa massage are you objecting to?	1.2863	0.03651	227	173	43	11
4279	Does your breathing ever feel constricted?	1.2863	0.03629	234	179	43	12
4280	Your chart says you've been having chest pains?	1.2863	0.03729	234	181	39	14
4281	It's your foot that concerns me.	1.2863	0.03460	241	182	49	10
4282	I told you to get snake oil not a snake coil	1.2863	0.03607	241	185	43	13
4283	In all my years of being a snake doctor, I’ve never seen anything like this.	1.2863	0.03794	241	189	35	17
4284	Take two, and call me if you have trouble swallowing them.	1.2863	0.03307	241	179	55	7
4285	Difficulty breathing, huh?	1.2863	0.03607	241	185	43	13
4286	I've ruled out angina. I'm referring you to the veterinarian.	1.2863	0.03460	241	182	49	10
4287	The test shows your face and legs are unaffected.	1.2863	0.03654	241	186	41	14
4288	Your chart says you’ve been having chest pains. Could you eleaborate on that for me?	1.2863	0.03607	241	185	43	13
4289	Your breathing is constricted? Could be a number of things, it’s never obvious.	1.2863	0.03748	241	188	37	16
4290	You’re lucky I was able to squeeze you in.	1.2863	0.03538	248	190	45	13
4291	In the future I want you two to see our herpetologist.	1.2863	0.03491	248	189	47	12
4292	Not to state the obvious...	1.2863	0.03538	248	190	45	13
4293	‘Sorry, but I only see the one insurance card”	1.2863	0.03444	248	188	49	11
4294	This thing is going around; it's not as constricting as you think.	1.2863	0.03397	248	187	51	10
4295	All right, it's not gluten intolerance...	1.2863	0.03538	248	190	45	13
4296	Yes Mr. Adam, it's an apple a day, but not just any apple.	1.2863	0.03397	248	187	51	10
4297	So how long have you been short of breath?	1.2863	0.03517	255	196	45	14
4298	How long have you felt the tightness in your chest?	1.2863	0.03688	255	200	37	18
4299	We're all done; that's a wrap.	1.2863	0.03517	255	196	45	14
4300	They call it 'the grip'.	1.2863	0.03517	255	196	45	14
4301	And you say you've seen an increase in your blood pressure?	1.2863	0.03473	255	195	47	13
4302	I'm recommending a constricted diet.	1.2863	0.03453	262	201	47	14
4303	Trust me, it’s non-venomous.	1.2863	0.03410	262	200	49	13
4304	What result are you hoping for?	1.2862	0.03392	269	206	49	14
4305	Can't help you, but I know a great snake charmer.	1.2862	0.03473	269	208	45	16
4306	So then, anything else apart from those chest pains?	1.2862	0.03351	269	205	51	13
4307	I’ll write you a prescription for something that’ll help you unwind a bit, Mr Barnes.	1.2862	0.03172	276	207	59	10
4308	Good news, you’re wife is not the one suffocating you.	1.2857	0.03872	217	168	36	13
4309	Well, your insurance doesn't cover mortal coil, so you'll have to shuffle off.	1.2857	0.03647	259	203	38	18
4310	The X-ray shows extra vertebrae.	1.2857	0.03636	238	183	42	13
4311	A feeling of chest pressure you say. We're going to have to run some tests.	1.2857	0.03499	266	206	44	16
4312	Well, I don’t think you’ll get them confused a second time.	1.2857	0.03518	245	187	46	12
4313	You’re up 5lbs. since your last visit.	1.2857	0.03612	245	189	42	14
4314	Seems to be a lot of this going around.	1.2857	0.03760	252	199	34	19
4315	No more apples for you and the missus.	1.2857	0.03391	259	197	50	12
4316	I noticed you got a little choked up when I mentioned your wife"	1.2857	0.03675	252	197	38	17
4317	So Adam how and where did you two first meet	1.2857	0.03860	231	181	34	16
4318	We broke up. She left the snake.	1.2857	0.03587	238	182	44	12
4319	So, do you have any family history of respiratory problems?	1.2857	0.03588	252	195	42	15
4320	He said you taste like chicken?	1.2857	0.03588	252	195	42	15
4321	In this case, DO NOT take a deep breath.	1.2857	0.03684	238	184	40	14
4322	It looks like your disease has evolved to fight the antibiotics, so I’m prescribing you a mongoose.	1.2857	0.03682	224	171	42	11
4323	Sorry, these residency hours are killing me. What did you say about chest tightness?	1.2857	0.03272	245	182	56	7
4324	I’m afraid we need prepayment even though you claim “you can’t reach your wallet”	1.2857	0.03383	238	178	52	8
4325	Your symptoms are strangely similar to those inflicted by marriage.	1.2857	0.03499	266	206	44	16
4326	So how long have you had this man-shaped growth?	1.2857	0.03956	231	183	30	18
4327	Okay, take off your snake, stand up, turn your head and cough.	1.2857	0.03587	238	182	44	12
4328	Something seems to be constricting your breathing.	1.2857	0.03860	231	181	34	16
4329	Your blood pressure is elevated, but other than that, I can't find anything clinically wrong with you.	1.2857	0.03607	231	176	44	11
4330	Auto erotic asp fixation... a lot more common than you’d imagine.	1.2852	0.03454	284	222	43	19
4331	I've finally figured out your diagnosis, Mr. Callahan. If it had been a snake it would've bitten me.	1.2852	0.03440	277	215	45	17
4332	Whatever you do, don’t say “ahh.”	1.2852	0.03299	270	205	53	12
4333	Yeah, there's a lot going around now.	1.2852	0.03566	263	205	41	17
4334	I'm referring you for an attachment disorder.	1.2852	0.03646	263	207	37	19
4335	Have a friend..a very good friend...give you these. They may help you unwind	1.2852	0.03633	256	200	39	17
4336	Looks like you already tried to get the gerbil out...	1.2852	0.03325	256	193	53	10
4337	Cortisone cream should help with the shedding.	1.2852	0.03591	256	199	41	16
4338	Your blood pressusre is up a bit.	1.2852	0.03717	256	202	35	19
4339	And on a scale from one to ten, how would you rate your pain?	1.2852	0.03505	256	197	45	14
4340	So tell me, when did you first feel the tightness in your chest?	1.2852	0.03232	256	191	57	8
4341	A squeezing sensation in your chest and arms, sweating, abdominal pain, shortness of breath, Mr. Jones you're having a heart attack!	1.2852	0.03633	256	200	39	17
4342	Are you experiencing any tightness in chest?	1.2852	0.03416	256	195	49	12
4343	So...did this felling of impending doom come on just today?	1.2851	0.03571	249	192	43	14
4344	When did you first notice the choking sensation?	1.2851	0.03571	249	192	43	14
4345	It looks like you've got pernicious pythonitis.	1.2851	0.03337	249	187	53	9
4346	You said you feel a constricting in your chest?	1.2851	0.03479	249	190	47	12
4347	You say both your father and grandfather were smokers?	1.2851	0.03661	249	194	39	16
4348	So how was your trip to India, Mr. Jones?	1.2851	0.03780	242	190	35	17
4349	Well I can see that you are pretty tightly wound up.	1.2851	0.03448	242	183	49	10
4350	Your cholesterol's fine , but I'm worried about your venom .	1.2851	0.03734	242	189	37	16
4351	I don't see this specifically covered anywhere, but maybe we can enter it as a general systemic constriction."	1.2851	0.03641	242	187	41	14
4352	....And call me if you feel any tightening around your chest.	1.2851	0.03398	242	182	51	9
4353	When was the last time you molted?	1.2851	0.03497	242	184	47	11
4354	I distinctly heard a rattle in your chest upon breathing.	1.2851	0.03409	235	176	51	8
4355	And besides that, are you experiencing any unusual pressure or tightness?	1.2851	0.03764	235	183	37	15
4356	I think you should start by switching to Fish Oil.	1.2851	0.03409	235	176	51	8
4357	So the inhaler isn't working?	1.2851	0.03715	235	182	39	14
4358	There's something going on with with your urine sample.	1.2851	0.03565	235	179	45	11
4359	No, the Anaconda diet is not a safe weight loss plan.	1.2851	0.03666	235	181	41	13
4360	I'm referring you to our herpetologist, for an appointment in three weeks.	1.2851	0.03565	235	179	45	11
4361	The Hippocratic oath says "Do no harm", so you're on your own.	1.2851	0.03764	235	183	37	15
4362	The upside is that you’re not allergic to snake skin	1.2851	0.03584	228	173	45	10
4363	I'll send the herpetologist right in...	1.2851	0.03690	228	175	41	12
4364	Yeah, I'm having a rough day. Anyways, where'd you get the snake?	1.2851	0.03768	221	170	39	12
4365	Do you have any shortness of breath?	1.2850	0.04126	214	170	27	17
4366	Let's get you some tests to get to the bottom of this shortness of breath.	1.2850	0.03908	214	166	35	13
4367	I believe what I prescribed last visit were compression SOCKS, not SNAKES.	1.2850	0.03677	214	162	43	9
4368	When did you start feeling it was hard to breathe?	1.2850	0.04019	214	168	31	15
4369	Be honest: this desert nudist colony isn't working for you.	1.2846	0.03487	267	207	44	16
4370	Mr. Charmer, I do suspect family history is in play here.	1.2846	0.03509	260	201	44	15
4371	I'm going to write you a boa conscription. Get it?"	1.2846	0.03619	253	197	40	16
4372	If your wife doesn’t mind you are wearing her boa, what’s the issue?	1.2846	0.03441	253	193	48	12
4373	It may be time to consider an alternative medicine practitioner.	1.2846	0.03645	246	191	40	15
4374	It's cold-blooded, that's why.	1.2845	0.03423	239	180	50	9
4375	Let's follow up in a couple of weeks.	1.2845	0.03671	239	185	40	14
4376	You seem to be experiencing some constriction.	1.2845	0.03671	239	185	40	14
4377	You're just too charming.	1.2845	0.03474	239	181	48	10
4378	Unbelievable as it seems, you need snake oil.	1.2845	0.03594	232	177	44	11
4379	You should shed in 4-6 weeks. Stay on a constricted diet.	1.2845	0.03594	232	177	44	11
4380	Surgically we will have a problem reaching your hernia.	1.2845	0.03796	232	181	36	15
4381	Have you been in the tropics recently?	1.2845	0.03696	232	179	40	13
4382	I see you are complaining of chest pressure.	1.2845	0.03542	232	176	46	10
4383	Hmm, your blood pressure is a little high. I'd like to run some more tests.	1.2845	0.03542	232	176	46	10
4384	Oh, I don't think you'll be feeling those aches and pains too much longer.	1.2844	0.03774	225	174	38	13
4385	It says here you are feeling a sensation of pressure in your neck, chest and waist. Have you traveled to a foreign country in the past few days?	1.2844	0.03613	225	171	44	10
4386	It seems you have a severe case of COILITIS.	1.2844	0.03721	225	173	40	12
4387	Looks like you have a boa obstruction.	1.2844	0.03826	225	175	36	14
4388	If you're feeling bound up, consider eliminating gluten from your diet.	1.2841	0.03451	271	210	45	16
4389	Coilitis is usually a matter of internal medicine...	1.2841	0.03430	264	203	47	14
4390	So, how long have you have you had this constricted feeling?	1.2841	0.03213	264	198	57	9
4391	Well, I'll need to run a series of tests to determine just what is causing your discomfort.	1.2840	0.03604	250	194	41	15
4392	This looks like a problem for the vet.	1.2840	0.03421	250	190	49	11
4393	Take this and try to relax and unwind a bit.	1.2840	0.03692	250	196	37	17
4394	When you said python, I worried it was the Viagra.	1.2840	0.03778	250	198	33	19
4395	It appears your tension has transferred to your emotional support animal.	1.2840	0.03467	250	191	47	12
4396	Can you take a deep breath?	1.2840	0.03467	250	191	47	12
4397	Where did Miss Eve go after the apple was eaten?	1.2840	0.03581	243	187	43	13
4398	Intake said you are having difficulty catching your breath, is that correct ?	1.2840	0.03628	243	188	41	14
4399	Would you prefer to see a veterinarian or an anesthesiologist?	1.2839	0.03652	236	182	41	13
4400	It may seem primitive, but, I don't have to wear rubber gloves and you don't have to cough.	1.2839	0.03603	236	181	43	12
4401	Been hanging out in Washington again, I see.	1.2839	0.03603	236	181	43	12
4402	The good news is that this doesn't appear to be malignant.	1.2839	0.03750	236	184	37	15
4403	Looking for Xanax again, Jim?	1.2838	0.03829	229	179	35	15
4404	Nobody's happy about an OCD diagnosis, but we passed 'wait and see if he grows out of it' months ago.	1.2838	0.03623	229	175	43	11
4405	A "tightness," you say?	1.2838	0.03699	222	170	41	11
4406	I think it's time for you to unwind.	1.2836	0.03182	268	201	58	9
4407	So,how long does the home shopping network recommend that you wear this "natural body slimming belt"?	1.2835	0.03540	261	203	42	16
4408	So you are saying, after he ate Eve.....	1.2835	0.03498	261	202	44	15
4409	Spay or neuter?	1.2835	0.03369	261	199	50	12
4410	Don't blame this on me. You knew the possible side effects.	1.2835	0.03325	261	198	52	11
4411	And the bad news is, 'You're not long for this mortal coil.'	1.2835	0.03498	261	202	44	15
4412	What makes you think that your stiff neck is related to your constricted breathing?	1.2835	0.03291	254	191	54	9
4413	Maybe a therapy boa wasn't the best choice.	1.2835	0.03430	254	194	48	12
4414	...and on a scale of 1-to-10, how charming do you feel?	1.2835	0.03430	254	194	48	12
4415	Are you experiencing any other ssssssymptoms?	1.2835	0.03607	254	198	40	16
4416	Obviously you will have some dietary restrictions	1.2834	0.03250	247	184	56	7
4417	And... can you describe your pain?	1.2834	0.03677	247	193	38	16
4418	Your blood pressure seems a bit high.	1.2834	0.03494	247	189	46	12
4419	Happens all the time. Don’t know why we keep putting the snake back in the dressing room, though.	1.2833	0.03561	240	184	44	12
4420	I call it the Constrictive Diet.	1.2833	0.03411	240	181	50	9
4421	We are still working out the kinks in our new organic blood pressure monitor.	1.2833	0.03752	240	188	36	16
4422	While you may have a problem breathing, you should have no trouble relieving yourself.	1.2833	0.03782	233	182	36	15
4423	I'm giving you something for your congestion, but keep feeding him the mice.	1.2833	0.03632	233	179	42	12
4424	The good news is I think we found the cause of that lisp.	1.2832	0.03963	226	179	30	17
4425	I'll need to have you take off your snake to listen to your heart and lungs.	1.2832	0.03863	226	177	34	15
4426	The good news is that he's gotten much stronger. I mean, it's good news for him...	1.2832	0.03863	226	177	34	15
4427	So it says here that you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that right?	1.2832	0.03303	279	214	51	14
4428	You really shouldn't take the blue cross blue shield symbol so literally.	1.2831	0.03786	219	169	38	12
4429	'So you rubbed the lamp and wished for ...?'	1.2829	0.03481	258	199	45	14
4430	I suggest you stay away from apples.	1.2829	0.03348	258	196	51	11
4431	The good news is I've ruled out angina as the cause of your symptoms.	1.2829	0.03524	258	200	43	15
4432	Todd, I must say, you're really in a tight spot here...	1.2829	0.03960	205	159	34	12
4433	You’re authorized to fly with the lumbar support snake—and don’t forget your compression socks.	1.2829	0.03409	251	191	49	11
4434	What is the problem today?	1.2829	0.03546	251	194	43	14
4435	Unfortunately, it looks like a pre-existing condition and won’t be covered	1.2829	0.03362	251	190	51	10
4436	I see the snake-oil salesman got you again.	1.2829	0.03546	251	194	43	14
4437	Tell me where it hurts.	1.2829	0.03591	251	195	41	15
4438	When did you first notice problems with swallowing?	1.2829	0.03546	251	194	43	14
4439	I am going to have to refer you on to a veterinarian.	1.2828	0.03472	244	186	47	11
4440	I see that your blood pressure is a little elevated. I'm recommending a low-sodium diet.	1.2828	0.03472	244	186	47	11
4441	This is the worst case of constrictive pericarditis I’ve ever seen.	1.2828	0.03615	244	189	41	14
4442	I usually don't recommend this to my patients,but I think it's time to shuffle off this mortal coil.	1.2828	0.03615	244	189	41	14
4443	Two drops on the forked tongue and call me in the morning.	1.2828	0.03707	244	191	37	16
4444	First, I'm recommending you see a podiatrist about your ingrown nail.	1.2828	0.03472	244	186	47	11
4445	So now that you have your diagnosis, let’s discuss your restrictions.	1.2827	0.03589	237	182	43	12
4446	He's my emotional support snake	1.2827	0.03783	237	186	35	16
4447	Now as to stress reduction, I'm not sure how much time you should spend in your garden.	1.2826	0.03448	230	173	49	8
4448	Let's switch to the lower strength asp, Aaron.	1.2826	0.03764	230	179	37	14
4449	And so, you really want to discuss your ingrown toenail?	1.2825	0.03684	223	171	41	11
4450	So how's the family?	1.2825	0.03516	223	168	47	8
4451	You said your name is Eve?	1.2825	0.03897	223	175	33	15
4452	Have him take 2 small rats & I'll call him in the morning.	1.2825	0.03684	223	171	41	11
4453	Any particular stress at home recently?	1.2825	0.03629	223	170	43	10
4454	I'd like to refer your case to a veterinarian.	1.2824	0.03507	255	197	44	14
4455	So far, we can conclude that a heart attack has not caused the tightness in your chest.	1.2824	0.03463	255	196	46	13
4456	So you say you have trouble breathing ?	1.2823	0.03574	248	192	42	14
4457	I have to disagree, Mr. Wolf. I think the Sheep's Clothing would have been the better option.	1.2823	0.03752	248	196	34	18
4458	Would you kindly remove your scarf?	1.2823	0.03481	248	190	46	12
4459	And how long have you had trouble breathing?	1.2823	0.03708	248	195	36	17
4460	Nope,it was not from the MMR vaccine. Next question...	1.2823	0.03708	248	195	36	17
4461	It's COPD. The elephant form is more common.	1.2823	0.03574	248	192	42	14
4462	I’m afraid it’ssssssssssssss bad news...	1.2823	0.03574	248	192	42	14
4463	Yeah, there’s been a lot of that going around.	1.2823	0.03752	248	196	34	18
4464	He doesn’t like it when I fart	1.2823	0.03708	248	195	36	17
4465	So, Mr. Harrington, you've complained about some tightness in the chest?	1.2822	0.03936	202	156	35	11
4466	I took it from Manafort's closet	1.2822	0.03548	241	185	44	12
4467	Squeezing chest pain, cool clammy skin, feels like you're about to pass out... sir, this may come as a surprise, but it sounds like you may be having a heart attack.	1.2822	0.03596	241	186	42	13
4468	Well, it's not constipation.	1.2821	0.03618	234	180	42	12
4469	To save your life I’d have to kill the snake and I just won’t do that.	1.2821	0.03516	234	178	46	10
4470	Ok. I’ll prescribe a muscle relaxer for him, but not Valium. It may be addicting.	1.2821	0.03816	234	184	34	16
4471	Call me if your condition tightens.	1.2820	0.03449	266	206	45	15
4472	I think it's time to assess your pet preferences.	1.2820	0.03490	266	207	43	16
4473	So, what happened to your clothes?	1.2820	0.03366	266	204	49	13
4474	Overall, your numbers look good. But we need to discuss your blood pressure.	1.2819	0.03419	227	170	50	7
4475	When it comes to taking blood pressure, I'm old school.	1.2819	0.03693	227	175	40	12
4476	What kind of a pressure?	1.2819	0.03640	227	174	42	11
4477	We'll be able to prescribe the correct snake oil once the lab identifies whether it's a boa or python.	1.2819	0.03640	227	174	42	11
4478	It's not yet covered by insurance, but it will definitely control your addictive cravings.	1.2819	0.03693	227	175	40	12
4479	notice any difficulty breathing lately	1.2819	0.03554	259	202	41	16
4480	Well, it looks like we've got that tightness in your chest pegged.	1.2819	0.03382	259	198	49	12
4481	So the medical consensus is that you were definitely not on Amazon Wardrobe when you ordered the Burmese Wrap.	1.2819	0.03679	259	205	35	19
4482	You say she wanted to honeymoon in the Amazon?	1.2818	0.03544	220	166	46	8
4483	Limited Mobility	1.2818	0.03485	220	165	48	7
4484	I understand you've been eating a lot of fiber, however, you seem to be sidestepping the real issue.	1.2817	0.03534	252	195	43	14
4485	Just tell me where it hurts, and we'll go from there.	1.2817	0.03443	252	193	47	12
4486	Are you allergic to any medications?	1.2817	0.03443	252	193	47	12
4487	Sorry. There's a lot of this going around.	1.2817	0.03443	252	193	47	12
4488	Next time I would stick to a feather boa.	1.2817	0.03534	252	195	43	14
4489	Do you feel any tightness in the chest?	1.2817	0.03443	252	193	47	12
4490	So tell me, exactly when did this shortness of breath begin?	1.2817	0.03912	213	166	34	13
4491	I'm afraid you’ll have to speak with your veterinarian about attachment issues.	1.2817	0.03738	213	163	40	10
4492	Stiff neck, trouble breathing, and heart palpitations - lets start you on Amoxicillin for five days - give us a call if you don't feel better in three	1.2816	0.03648	245	191	39	15
4493	Have you felt any tightness in your chest?	1.2816	0.03602	245	190	41	14
4494	Better out than in.	1.2815	0.03476	238	181	47	10
4495	While Nurse Slithers takes your blood pressure and pulse, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your medical history.	1.2815	0.03722	238	186	37	15
4496	I'm giving you a prescription for antiheptamine.	1.2815	0.03476	238	181	47	10
4497	Yet you each claim the other is codependent.	1.2815	0.03625	238	184	41	13
4498	Well, your boa density has improved since your last visit.	1.2815	0.03532	270	212	40	18
4499	Just a little snake oil and call me in the morning	1.2814	0.03648	231	178	41	12
4500	We're trying out this new blood-pressure cuff.	1.2814	0.03699	231	179	39	13
4501	You’ll really feel the squeeze when the bill arrives.	1.2814	0.03898	231	183	31	17
4502	An apple a day is good but try to avoid temptation.	1.2814	0.03474	263	204	44	15
4503	It seems to be a case of separation anxiety.	1.2812	0.03559	224	170	45	9
4504	Does this hurt?	1.2812	0.03315	256	194	52	10
4505	And you say it started with a heavy sensation around your stomach then traveled to your throat?	1.2812	0.03269	256	193	54	9
4506	I apologize, Mr. Slithers always gets anxious at the vet...	1.2812	0.03539	256	199	42	15
4507	We can't figure out what's causing your symptoms. We recommended getting an MRI	1.2812	0.03451	256	197	46	13
4508	I recommend an alarm clock that doesn’t play sounds of the rainforest.”	1.2811	0.03397	281	219	45	17
4509	So you've described a feeling of tightness in your chest. Any shortness of breath?	1.2811	0.03607	249	194	40	15
4510	So, Mr. Thomas, are you experiencing any tightness in your chest?	1.2811	0.03469	249	191	46	12
4511	A few more questions and we should be able to wrap this up.	1.2811	0.03561	249	193	42	14
4512	Some vitamin A for you, and a chicken a day for him	1.2811	0.03452	217	162	49	6
4513	Mr. Smith, I think we've identified the cause of your high blood pressure.	1.2810	0.03089	274	205	61	8
4514	Well,the good news is that the tightening in your chest isn't a heart attack....	1.2810	0.03583	242	187	42	13
4515	Take aspirin, drink plenty of fluids, get some rest, and contact your herpetologist if things don't improve.	1.2810	0.03724	242	190	36	16
4516	You feel constricted? Tell me more.	1.2810	0.03535	242	186	44	12
4517	Undress and put on the gown.	1.2810	0.03770	242	191	34	17
4518	Lovely boa, but I'll need you to remove it so I can examine you.	1.2810	0.03387	242	183	50	9
4519	So I'm writing you a prestriction...	1.2809	0.03478	267	208	43	16
4520	...next question...Do you feel safe at home?	1.2809	0.03397	267	206	47	14
4521	Then just don’t breathe out.	1.2809	0.03343	235	176	52	7
4522	I'm sorry, but I can't treat you until you have signed this consent form!	1.2809	0.03849	235	186	32	17
4523	I dunno Doc, I just feel life's just closing in on me.	1.2809	0.03801	235	185	34	16
4524	Adam, Why couldn't you just eat the apple like Eve suggested?	1.2808	0.03919	203	157	35	11
4525	I believe your shortness of breath is due to a 150 pound weight gain.	1.2808	0.03728	203	154	41	8
4526	No, Dave. It's you who needs to relax.	1.2808	0.03326	260	198	51	11
4527	Would you say its been growing in size?	1.2808	0.03236	260	196	55	9
4528	And how long have you felt this "tightness?"	1.2807	0.03883	228	180	32	16
4529	I asked you to undresssssss...	1.2807	0.03572	228	174	44	10
4530	When did you first feel this constriction?	1.2807	0.03572	228	174	44	10
4531	Any tingling in your extremities?	1.2807	0.03572	228	174	44	10
4532	It's more flexible than the standard cervical collar, and it breathes!	1.2807	0.03517	228	173	46	9
4533	We haven't used leeches in years.	1.2807	0.03572	228	174	44	10
4534	Call back in two weeks for the test results.	1.2806	0.03738	253	201	33	19
4535	My assistant will take your blood pressure.	1.2806	0.03738	253	201	33	19
4536	Two aspirins and call your herpetologist in the morning.	1.2805	0.03531	221	167	46	8
4537	Your vitals look good but I did notice a slight rasp in your breathing.	1.2805	0.03448	246	188	47	11
4538	You'll need to see a herpetologist.	1.2805	0.03350	246	186	51	9
4539	I am afraid your HMO does not cover constrictors but I am authorized to prescribe you a wide array of blood pressure medications.	1.2805	0.03350	246	186	51	9
4540	Feel like the walls are closing in around you, and you're short of breath... Stop watching the news and call me in a week."	1.2805	0.03681	246	193	37	16
4541	With about two days of human body heat, she should be fine.	1.2805	0.03543	246	190	43	13
4542	Well, I am noting in your chart here your weight gain.	1.2804	0.03723	214	164	40	10
4543	I bet he gave you that "apple a day" line too.	1.2803	0.03513	239	183	45	11
4544	I'm pretty sure that when the Evite said 'boa', it meant wear the fuzzy kind.	1.2803	0.03612	239	185	41	13
4545	Unfortunately your insurance does not cover boas.	1.2803	0.03612	239	185	41	13
4546	The good news is your skin condition has cleared up nicely.	1.2803	0.03412	239	181	49	9
4547	So, when you offered the chance on Craig's List to be someone's "main squeeze" you were thinking it would be...what...a woman? or something else?	1.2803	0.03463	264	205	44	15
4548	You can get dressed now. I'll see you in my office.	1.2803	0.03504	264	206	42	16
4549	The good news is that this will be covered by your wrap-around policy.	1.2802	0.03785	232	182	35	15
4550	Sorry dude, you're afflicted with a metaphor consisting of crushing student debt, low job prospects, and high housing costs.	1.2802	0.03530	232	177	45	10
4551	Once again Steve, a Caduceus costume does not guarantee you free health care. Snake removal will be $7,983	1.2802	0.03883	232	184	31	17
4552	Coincidentally, we also bill on a sliding scale.	1.2802	0.03685	232	180	39	13
4553	The side effects of the prescription are a little constriction at first, but once the skin sheds, you will be fine.	1.2802	0.03477	232	176	47	9
4554	And... bred in captivity or in the wild?	1.2802	0.03211	257	193	56	8
4555	So tell me again...you were feeling kind of cold, and then you did what?	1.2802	0.03570	257	201	40	16
4556	Trust me, the python body wrap is currently our most popular treatment for weight loss.	1.2802	0.03395	257	197	48	12
4557	Just ice it.	1.2800	0.03503	250	193	44	13
4558	You could stand to lose 550 pounds.	1.2800	0.03549	250	194	42	14
4559	And when did the headaches start?	1.2800	0.03457	250	192	46	12
4560	And you haven't been out of the country recently?	1.2800	0.03216	250	187	56	7
4561	So let's slip a gown on and you can tell me about your symptoms.	1.2800	0.03549	250	194	42	14
4562	Your full physical examination today does not require for you to get completely snaked Mr. Sssssmith, you may leave your pythong on.	1.2799	0.03467	268	209	43	16
4563	I'm studying for my psychiatry boards, and this looks like a classic case of codependency to me.	1.2798	0.03474	243	186	46	11
4564	And you say you're still feeling tightness in your chest?	1.2798	0.03425	243	185	48	10
4565	One thing I can rule out, you don’t have an intestinal parasite.	1.2798	0.03953	218	172	31	15
4566	Usually we don't allow pets in the exam room.	1.2798	0.03499	218	164	47	7
4567	Good news! We can rule out vascular constriction.	1.2797	0.03592	236	182	42	12
4568	First, I want to run a couple of tests on both of you. Then, we'll see.	1.2797	0.03739	236	185	36	15
4569	I’m going to refer you to an herpetologist.	1.2795	0.03554	254	198	41	15
4570	First, I don't think your problem is herpes, and, second, even it it was, a herpetologist couldn't help you.	1.2795	0.03683	254	201	35	18
4571	You have a constriction of your large boa.	1.2795	0.03374	254	194	49	11
4572	That tightness in your chest? I think I know the source.	1.2795	0.03597	254	199	39	16
4573	Your only hope for recovery is snake oil.	1.2795	0.03716	229	178	38	13
4574	The good news is we won't need to apply a tourniquet for the bite wounds	1.2795	0.03665	229	177	40	12
4575	So, this is your new squeeze?	1.2795	0.03768	229	179	36	14
4576	My number one question is; where does his tail start?	1.2795	0.03665	229	177	40	12
4577	This will cure your phobia, one way or the other.	1.2794	0.03185	272	206	56	10
4578	Some snake oil should help ease the squeeze.	1.2794	0.03436	247	189	47	11
4579	I find you to be in excellent health,but I think you might be more comfortable if you removed the snake.	1.2794	0.03289	247	186	53	8
4580	Any other symptoms besides chest tightness?	1.2794	0.03436	247	189	47	11
4581	Its a tight squeeze, but i think i can fit you in at 11.30 tomorrow	1.2794	0.03436	247	189	47	11
4582	Look im not going to prescribe you antibiotics for that sore throat. I think you’ve just been under a bit of pressure lately.	1.2794	0.03339	247	187	51	9
4583	Well, let's just pretend you coughed.	1.2794	0.03387	247	188	49	10
4584	Well, at least, we can take you off the laxitives.	1.2794	0.03577	247	192	41	14
4585	We will start by taking your blood pressure	1.2794	0.03387	247	188	49	10
4586	So Mr. Wiffel, When did you first notice someone switched your pool floater?	1.2794	0.03622	247	193	39	15
4587	Service animal or not, did you leave it open in the back?	1.2792	0.03741	240	189	35	16
4588	This would be so much worse if you felt like an elephant were sitting on your chest.	1.2792	0.03501	240	184	45	11
4589	What do herpetologists do to unwind?	1.2792	0.03741	240	189	35	16
4590	Where were you when you first noticed the symptoms?	1.2792	0.03695	240	188	37	15
4591	I am going to refer you to a snake oil salesman who I think can help you.	1.2792	0.03501	240	184	45	11
4592	I believe an MRI + a PET scan+ a colonoscopy will give us the answers we're looking for.	1.2792	0.03599	240	186	41	13
4593	Lets schedule one more appointment, and hope three’s the charm.	1.2792	0.03647	240	187	39	14
4594	Let's start out with your medical hissssstory.	1.2791	0.03428	258	199	46	13
4595	Any chest constriction?	1.2791	0.03766	215	166	38	11
4596	How long, Mr. Jones, have you been short of breath?	1.2791	0.03649	215	164	42	9
4597	It’s only comforting until it’s not.	1.2790	0.03154	276	209	57	10
4598	Feeling constricted?	1.2790	0.03722	233	182	37	14
4599	Have you considered a faux fur boa?	1.2790	0.03771	233	183	35	15
4600	Tightness in the chest? Eliminate gluten and see if it improves.	1.2790	0.03621	233	180	41	12
4601	I suggest you lay off the snake oil remedies.	1.2790	0.03771	233	183	35	15
4602	Yes, even your support animal.	1.2790	0.03671	233	181	39	13
4603	And that's a wrap.	1.2789	0.03445	251	193	46	12
4604	On the bright side, since you didn’t eat the fruit there wasn’t a second fall of mankind.	1.2788	0.03852	226	178	33	15
4605	Sorry, but your pet insurance doesn't cover human extractions.	1.2788	0.03852	226	178	33	15
4606	This is why we recommend avoiding snake oil.	1.2787	0.03697	244	192	36	16
4607	Your snake will be perfectly fine once you get it into a warmer, more comfortable environment."	1.2787	0.03558	244	189	42	13
4608	I am sorry. I don't have the right form to qualify him as an emotional support pet.	1.2787	0.03510	244	188	44	12
4609	So, you say that you feel constricted, but all the tests came back negative. Maybe it's stress?	1.2787	0.03651	244	191	38	15
4610	Not to worry. They shed their skin twice a year.	1.2786	0.03519	262	205	41	16
4611	Fortunately, the tapeworm test is negative.	1.2786	0.03519	262	205	41	16
4612	So the notes indicate that you are experiencing difficulty breathing. Your insurance doesn't cover a physical exam so I'm prescribing an inhaler.	1.2786	0.03304	262	200	51	11
4613	So,how long have you been feeling short of breath?	1.2785	0.03884	219	172	33	14
4614	This blood pressure medication should even things out.	1.2785	0.03662	219	168	41	10
4615	Don't mind Sidney, Mr Brown. I can tell he likes you!	1.2785	0.03528	237	182	44	11
4616	And how long have you been experiencing shortness of breath?	1.2785	0.03773	237	187	34	16
4617	Your x-rays came back negative.	1.2785	0.03628	237	184	40	13
4618	I wouldn't get too wound up about this.	1.2785	0.03677	237	185	38	14
4619	Don't listen to your wife next time.	1.2784	0.03222	255	192	55	8
4620	Well, the good news is, your insurance DOES cover snakendectomies.	1.2783	0.03972	212	167	31	14
4621	So how would you describe this “constriction”?	1.2783	0.03702	230	179	38	13
4622	And you say he's always been this friendly?	1.2783	0.03491	230	175	46	9
4623	These muscle relaxants should do the trick.	1.2783	0.03436	230	174	48	8
4624	Hmmm... No. I don’t think it’s asthma.	1.2780	0.03561	223	170	44	9
4625	...and are you sleeping well?	1.2780	0.03672	223	172	40	11
4626	All right. Quit the Alice Cooper tribute band and see me in two weeks.	1.2780	0.03503	223	169	46	8
4627	I'm prescribing something for your blood pressure.	1.2780	0.03672	223	172	40	11
4628	It's alright- I'm a doctor, a professional. Now I need you to take off that boa as well.	1.2780	0.03488	241	185	45	11
4629	OK we'll put off the urine sample --But next time try to hold it 'til you get here	1.2780	0.03586	241	187	41	13
4630	I think you ate a bad apple someplace.	1.2780	0.03537	241	186	43	12
4631	How long have you had these feelings of compression?	1.2780	0.03438	241	184	47	10
4632	When did you begin to notice you were feeling constricted?	1.2780	0.03634	241	188	39	14
4633	Well, we are all out of remedies for the constipation, so we will just need to squeeze it out of you. I have worked with this therapy snake before and she is quite gentle and quite proud of her work.	1.2780	0.03545	259	203	40	16
4634	Fine, I'll turn up the heat.	1.2780	0.03327	259	198	50	11
4635	I believe I recommended the Ketogenic Diet not the Pythogenic Diet.	1.2778	0.03292	252	191	52	9
4636	That isn't the right kind of boa if you are doing drag.	1.2778	0.03658	234	182	39	13
4637	We use him if your blood pressure is really high.	1.2778	0.03708	234	183	37	14
4638	So, labored breathing. Any other symptoms?	1.2778	0.03634	216	165	42	9
4639	You can exhale now.	1.2778	0.03504	234	179	45	10
4640	Would you like a robe?	1.2778	0.03556	234	180	43	11
4641	So you’re here because of tightness in your chest?	1.2778	0.03433	252	194	46	12
4642	So, why did your veterinarian refer you to me?	1.2778	0.03433	252	194	46	12
4643	I'm sorry Mr. Snake, your insurance was declined.	1.2778	0.03613	252	198	38	16
4644	I am prescribing a return trip to Borneo.	1.2776	0.03465	263	205	43	15
4645	Unfortunately, your healthcare plan doesn't cover a removal.	1.2776	0.03465	263	205	43	15
4646	When taking your blood pressure, you'll feel a little squeeze.	1.2776	0.03498	245	189	44	12
4647	How long have you been experiencing difficulty breathing?	1.2776	0.03498	245	189	44	12
4648	So essentially your complaint is that you are feeling somewhat constricted?	1.2776	0.03638	245	192	38	15
4649	I don’t even know what to ssssssssay.	1.2776	0.03592	245	191	40	14
4650	This says you're having chest pains, is that right?	1.2776	0.03498	245	189	44	12
4651	So, how was your trip to the Florida Everglades?	1.2776	0.03449	245	188	46	11
4652	This muscle relaxant should help. You need to unwind.	1.2776	0.03545	245	190	42	13
4653	I think you should try one made of feathers.	1.2776	0.03592	245	191	40	14
4654	Admittedly it's unusual and experimental therapy, but I have seen positive results.	1.2776	0.03401	245	187	48	10
4655	Well, this wraps up today’s appointment.	1.2776	0.03401	245	187	48	10
4656	Shocked? Hardly. You have no idea how many sex experiments gone wrong we see in the ER.	1.2776	0.03545	245	190	42	13
4657	Well, the good news is that I think we can safely say that your crushing chest pain is not due to a heart attack	1.2775	0.03628	227	175	41	11
4658	I'm prescribing snake oil and a constricted diet	1.2775	0.03734	227	177	37	13
4659	It says here you're experiencing some shortness of breath. Could you please remove the python so I can examine you with the stethoscope?	1.2775	0.03681	227	176	39	12
4660	The gentle pressure should make you feel less anxious.	1.2775	0.03681	227	176	39	12
4661	Your blood pressure appears to be somewhat elevated.	1.2775	0.03681	227	176	39	12
4662	Some folks felt embarrased with the gowns that opened in the back.	1.2775	0.03887	227	180	31	16
4663	Oh, I forgot it was fashion week.	1.2775	0.04067	209	166	28	15
4664	The bad news is I can't find anything wrong with YOU...	1.2774	0.03289	274	211	50	13
4665	It's really nothing to worry about. Just think of it as your "outer colon."	1.2774	0.03524	274	217	38	19
4666	Come back if it lasts more than four hours.	1.2773	0.03529	256	200	41	15
4667	As I told you, Mr Adam, that particular kind of apple don't keep the doctor away and bring additional consequences	1.2773	0.03615	256	202	37	17
4668	After several tests I think we can finally speculate on your shortness of breath.	1.2773	0.03211	256	193	55	8
4669	I thought you said she wasn't clingy?	1.2773	0.03413	238	181	48	9
4670	Any difficulty breathing? Tightness in the chest?	1.2773	0.03464	238	182	46	10
4671	Just apply this salve twice daily and it should fall off naturally in a month or two.	1.2773	0.03515	238	183	44	11
4672	Boas are medicine's best back brace, use with caution	1.2773	0.03413	238	181	48	9
4673	Whatever you may think it is, I can assure you I am just measuring your blood pressure.	1.2773	0.03759	238	188	34	16
4674	In view of the increasing constrictions I'm going to discontinue the snake oil.	1.2773	0.03565	238	184	42	12
4675	You seem tense...	1.2773	0.03515	238	183	44	11
4676	First, let’s turn down the charm.	1.2773	0.03515	238	183	44	11
4677	Follow up next week if you still feel constricted	1.2773	0.03647	220	169	41	10
4678	So, how did you get a whole human stuck up there?	1.2773	0.03974	220	175	29	16
4679	While it is a bit uncomfortable, it’s safer and more effective than the keto diet.	1.2773	0.03647	220	169	41	10
4680	Of course, we'll need to run some tests first...	1.2773	0.03814	220	172	35	13
4681	Yes, caring for a pet can be constrictive.	1.2771	0.03364	249	190	49	10
4682	I'm an out -of -network provider for constrictor removal so you may incur increased costs, or if you prefer, we can refer you to an in -network provider.	1.2771	0.03459	249	192	45	12
4683	What I said was try to SHAKE your constipation	1.2771	0.03364	249	190	49	10
4684	Chest constriction? Hmm, difficult to diagnose at this stage. Perhaps a few more tests.	1.2771	0.03641	249	196	37	16
4685	Constricting chest pain, is it? We'd better get an EKG.	1.2771	0.03641	249	196	37	16
4686	You may experience shortness of breath.	1.2771	0.03637	231	179	40	12
4687	You're going to have to remove your boa if you want me to examine you.	1.2771	0.03585	231	178	42	11
4688	I've seen this condition in some of my colleagues who work with certain insurance companies	1.2771	0.03688	231	180	38	13
4689	Side effects may include constricting chest pain.	1.2771	0.03532	231	177	44	10
4690	I’ve done everything I can. At this point, I’m referring you to a relationship counselor.	1.2771	0.03312	231	173	52	6
4691	let's wrap this up.	1.2770	0.03665	213	163	41	9
4692	So, Mr. Walters, tell me more about this squeezing sensation you seem to feel in your chest.	1.2769	0.03491	260	203	42	15
4693	Where was Eve?	1.2769	0.03476	242	186	45	11
4694	When did you first notice that something was wrong?	1.2769	0.03621	242	189	39	14
4695	No, it's not herpes... I'm referring you to a herpetologist because they know about snakes.	1.2769	0.03375	242	184	49	9
4696	he said you swallowed his mouse	1.2768	0.03973	224	179	28	17
4697	If you want to change your emotional support animal to a gerbil, you'll have to get rid of Monty first.	1.2768	0.03603	224	172	42	10
4698	I'm writing you a referral to animal control.	1.2767	0.03421	253	195	46	12
4699	I'll have to refer you to a specialist...	1.2767	0.03512	253	197	42	14
4700	Ok Mr Smith, remove your snake wear and slip into that gown..so we can take a look at what might be causing your breathing difficulties.	1.2767	0.03233	253	191	54	8
4701	Alright, let's see how our new constipation treatment is working."	1.2767	0.03812	253	204	28	21
4702	The first thing to do for that chest tightness is to get you off cigarettes.	1.2767	0.03375	253	194	48	11
4703	Have you considered strengthening your core?	1.2767	0.03467	253	196	44	13
4704	According to the test results you're perfectly healthy. How long have you been feeling short of breath?	1.2767	0.03421	253	195	46	12
4705	'It says here your name is Montgomery, but I'm going to guess that's not what people call you.'	1.2765	0.03454	264	206	43	15
4706	GENDER?	1.2765	0.03678	217	167	40	10
4707	I can understand that a person might not be comfortable in a hospital gown, but, really?	1.2765	0.03848	217	170	34	13
4708	I see here that your blood pressure is high and you say you feel tightness in your chest?	1.2765	0.03792	217	169	36	12
4709	There's no known cure, but if you lose weight it should help with the constriction.	1.2765	0.03678	217	167	40	10
4710	I get that you didn't want to wear a gown, but the boa is a bit much.	1.2764	0.03716	246	195	34	17
4711	You say he's your therapy snake? Please elaborate.	1.2764	0.03579	246	192	40	14
4712	And was this the result of a work-related incident?	1.2764	0.03671	246	194	36	16
4713	So you flew back from the Everglades yesterday, Mr. Jones?	1.2764	0.03339	246	187	50	9
4714	Have you tried Snake Oil?	1.2764	0.03389	246	188	48	10
4715	Of course it will work. You’ll be rid of that extra belly fat in 7 days.	1.2764	0.03485	246	190	44	12
4716	I am giving you a referral to the vet down the street	1.2764	0.03279	275	212	50	13
4717	I will have to look into whether it's a pre-existing condition.	1.2763	0.03505	228	174	45	9
4718	So, your feeling a tightness in your chest.	1.2763	0.03771	228	179	35	14
4719	The snake is fine--but you have a very severe circulation problem"	1.2763	0.03336	228	171	51	6
4720	I think I might know what’s wrong with you.	1.2763	0.03560	228	175	43	10
4721	It says here you have cobra...	1.2763	0.03560	257	202	39	16
4722	While the hug therapy seems to be helping, I would like to add a mild antidepressant	1.2762	0.03650	239	187	38	14
4723	I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. Chest pains are pretty common.	1.2759	0.03465	232	177	46	9
4724	May I prescribe a vet.	1.2759	0.03518	232	178	44	10
4725	Nothing serious. It doesn’t even have an insurance code. You need to learn to set boundaries.	1.2759	0.03305	261	200	50	11
4726	Let me guess, you were just sitting on the toilet minding your own business when this happened.	1.2759	0.03623	232	180	40	12
4727	Well, the good news is you don't have a constricted bowel.	1.2759	0.03571	232	179	42	11
4728	I'm referring you to a vet.	1.2759	0.03571	232	179	42	11
4729	You say you are experiencing shortness of breath?	1.2759	0.03300	232	174	52	6
4730	OK, now take a deep breath and cough.	1.2759	0.03571	232	179	42	11
4731	Let's see, it says you have a tapeworm?	1.2759	0.03604	261	207	36	18
4732	Oh, that’s just what we use now to check blood pressure in your core, instead of just in one arm.	1.2757	0.03382	272	212	45	15
4733	A little background, have you eaten an apple recently, Mr. Adam is it, just the one name?	1.2757	0.03654	243	191	37	15
4734	The good news is that we can still save your Adam's apple, the bad news is there might be hell to pay.	1.2757	0.03700	243	192	35	16
4735	It could be slightly worse.	1.2757	0.03313	243	184	51	8
4736	Well if you recall, I did try to talk you out of that Amazon River trip.	1.2757	0.03512	243	188	43	12
4737	Oh, heck. He's up to your neck.	1.2757	0.03607	243	190	39	14
4738	I can't put my finger on it but I don't believe the tightness in your chest is due to a cold.	1.2757	0.03363	243	185	49	9
4739	Would you please undress so I can see what the problem is?	1.2757	0.03826	214	167	35	12
4740	No. I haven't ever felt like I was being squeezed by a giant snake. Just "yes" or "no" please.	1.2756	0.03455	254	197	44	13
4741	Since you don’t have insurance, we squeeze it out of you	1.2756	0.03455	254	197	44	13
4742	Have you gotten your flu shot this season?	1.2755	0.03272	265	203	51	11
4743	Mr Simms, would you consider letting ME give the diagnosis?	1.2754	0.03680	236	185	37	14
4744	And how’s it affecting your social life?	1.2754	0.03580	236	183	41	12
4745	I see from your interview with my PA that you feel all wound up.	1.2754	0.03373	236	179	49	8
4746	Copays are not the problem here, Bob.	1.2754	0.03426	236	180	47	9
4747	I'll be taking your hiss-tory today.	1.2754	0.03187	276	211	54	11
4748	No worries! It’s not poisonous.	1.2753	0.03377	247	189	48	10
4749	And you say your symptoms are both a hiss and a rattle?	1.2753	0.03702	247	196	34	17
4750	How does your insurer feel about alternative medicine?	1.2753	0.03278	247	187	52	8
4751	Well, the good news is - snake print look fabulous on you.	1.2753	0.03473	247	191	44	12
4752	Have you been eating your apple a day?	1.2752	0.03462	258	201	43	14
4753	It looks like your blood pressure is a little high.	1.2752	0.03329	258	198	49	11
4754	An apple a day should do it.	1.2752	0.03548	258	203	39	16
4755	Let’s see ...it says here you’re feeling tightness in your chest ... and everywhere else?	1.2751	0.03546	229	176	43	10
4756	I distinctly remember you asking for boa tox.	1.2751	0.03705	229	179	37	13
4757	I'm writing him a prescription for Valium because he does seem a bit wound up.	1.2751	0.03437	229	174	47	8
4758	Take a deep breath	1.2750	0.03353	280	219	45	16
4759	How would you describe the pain?	1.2750	0.03588	240	187	40	13
4760	Don't worry he just ate an hour ago.	1.2749	0.03293	251	191	51	9
4761	Let's see, it says here you're experiencing tightness in the chest?	1.2749	0.03388	251	193	47	11
4762	He's my emotional support human"	1.2749	0.03703	251	200	33	18
4763	Let’s switch back to Weight Watchers.	1.2749	0.03620	211	161	42	8
4764	Come back in two weeks and we'll check your pressure again.	1.2749	0.03802	211	164	36	11
4765	An inhaler may help you breath better.	1.2748	0.03467	262	205	42	15
4766	I think you need to see a veterinarian.	1.2748	0.03382	262	203	46	13
4767	You win. We'll do only a PSA test this year.	1.2748	0.03509	262	206	40	16
4768	I'm sending you to a snake-oil specialist, Donald Trump	1.2747	0.03603	273	219	33	21
4769	Well after the initial tests we can say one thing for sure, it’s not asthma.	1.2747	0.03505	233	179	44	10
4770	And you say your constipated?	1.2747	0.03505	233	179	44	10
4771	It looks like you've really made an asp out of yourself.	1.2747	0.03609	233	181	40	12
4772	Well, I can see why your blood pressure is high.	1.2747	0.03558	233	180	42	11
4773	This is a restricted diet.	1.2747	0.03660	233	182	38	13
4774	How long have you been experiencing tightness in your chest?	1.2747	0.03558	233	180	42	11
4775	You’re fine. There are no bites	1.2747	0.03558	233	180	42	11
4776	You mentioned on the phone the skin was dry and scaly....	1.2746	0.03166	284	218	54	12
4777	How would you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten?	1.2746	0.03282	284	221	48	15
4778	How long have you had the tightening in your chest?	1.2746	0.03594	244	191	39	14
4779	Looks like the snake oil lotion I prescribed has a few side effects...	1.2746	0.03451	244	188	45	11
4780	Its a new form of El Boa	1.2746	0.03451	244	188	45	11
4781	OK, so you were walking in the grass. You heard a rustling sound, and then what happened?	1.2745	0.03532	255	200	40	15
4782	I'm sorry, but If I can't take your pulse, we simply can't find the source of your discomfort.	1.2744	0.03431	266	208	43	15
4783	...and how long would you say you've had the tightness in the chest?	1.2744	0.03389	266	207	45	14
4784	Side effects? Lets see, shortness of breath and death.	1.2744	0.03753	215	167	37	11
4785	Good News! It’s better than getting skunked.	1.2743	0.03517	237	183	43	11
4786	Your symptoms could be one of two things...	1.2743	0.03567	237	184	41	12
4787	It seems to work with constipation in men your age.	1.2743	0.03666	237	186	37	14
4788	You say you've felt this tightness in your chest since your recent trip to Columbia?"	1.2742	0.03266	248	188	52	8
4789	I don't care if 'ladies love it.' You need to have it removed.	1.2742	0.03365	248	190	48	10
4790	You have symptoms of the Burmese Python Derangement Syndrom: sore throat, chest tightness and limited arm movement"	1.2742	0.03365	248	190	48	10
4791	No need to worry... the boa is safe and looks great on you.	1.2741	0.03406	259	201	45	13
4792	...and you say you feel tightness in your chest?	1.2741	0.03362	259	200	47	12
4793	What part of "get undressed" do you not understand?	1.2741	0.03406	259	201	45	13
4794	I understand the nurse took your blood pressure on your leg. It's quite elevated.	1.2740	0.03649	219	169	40	10
4795	I see you got your homonyms mixed up.	1.2740	0.03532	219	167	44	8
4796	Animal Wealfare tells us since it's winter, she not eating, so you're safe for now. Monday's a holiday so the surgery will be Tuesday.	1.2740	0.03706	219	170	38	11
4797	Have you visited any tropical regions lately?	1.2740	0.03472	219	166	46	7
4798	Sorry. We got him to deal with the pharma reps but he doesn't seem to distinguish.	1.2739	0.03742	230	181	35	14
4799	You say you're having trouble breathing?	1.2739	0.03272	241	182	52	7
4800	Can you think of anything you might have been exposed to that might account for the rise in your blood pressure?	1.2739	0.03575	241	188	40	13
4801	I can't examine you until you undress.	1.2738	0.03469	252	196	43	13
4802	It appears your entire body is tightly constricted.	1.2738	0.03281	252	192	51	9
4803	Here's your prescription for a support reptile	1.2738	0.03423	252	195	45	12
4804	I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover this.	1.2738	0.03559	252	198	39	15
4805	Don’t be rattled.	1.2738	0.03469	252	196	43	13
4806	So You wanted a pet that would love you.	1.2738	0.03329	252	193	49	10
4807	So your blood pressure is down, but body mass is up.	1.2738	0.03376	252	194	47	11
4808	It says here you're having trouble swallowing.	1.2738	0.03327	263	203	48	12
4809	Has your wife noticed?	1.2738	0.03413	263	205	44	14
4810	I'm going to prescribe a muscle relaxant. That will allow you to unwind and let you get on with eating that guy for lunch.	1.2738	0.03497	263	207	40	16
4811	Take two bites of an apple and call me in the morning.	1.2737	0.03478	274	217	39	18
4812	I'm sorry, but all your tests are negative. I can't see any cause for the tightness in your chest.	1.2736	0.04111	201	160	27	14
4813	Any family history of boa contrictor attacks?	1.2735	0.03646	234	183	38	13
4814	Uh huh, I see. Let's have a look.	1.2735	0.03696	234	184	36	14
4815	It's herpes,all right. I'm writing a referral to a herpetologist to look at it.	1.2735	0.03794	234	186	32	16
4816	Here’s a prescription for some some snake oil.	1.2735	0.03492	234	180	44	10
4817	Is there any family history of this kind of thing?	1.2735	0.03646	234	183	38	13
4818	Do you feel under pressure?	1.2735	0.03487	245	190	43	12
4819	So, your main symptom is feeling constricted???	1.2735	0.03628	245	193	37	15
4820	Let's see...do we have your Advance Healthcare Directive on file?	1.2735	0.03438	245	189	45	11
4821	I’d like to see you drop about 30 lbs, Mr Farnsworth...	1.2734	0.03341	256	197	48	11
4822	In my experience these things usually work themselves out.	1.2734	0.03251	267	205	51	11
4823	It’s not a permanent thing. They shed their skins every year.	1.2734	0.03294	267	206	49	12
4824	Medical science can't help you shuffle off this mortal coil.	1.2731	0.03722	227	178	36	13
4825	Relax, ringworm is treatable.	1.2731	0.03722	227	178	36	13
4826	When did you start feeling wound up?	1.2731	0.03453	238	183	45	10
4827	I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. So let’s do some blood work and test your vitals - and see if we can pinpoint what’s causing that shortness of breath.	1.2731	0.03495	249	194	42	13
4828	Hasanything in particular brought you here today?	1.2731	0.03255	249	189	52	8
4829	Yes, well, on the bright side you'll grow tall and thin first.	1.2731	0.03586	249	196	38	15
4830	I'd like to run a few tests and have you come back in a couple of weeks.	1.2731	0.03353	249	191	48	10
4831	Have you tried a chiropractor?	1.2731	0.03401	249	192	46	11
4832	python wrap therapy is so new it's not covered by your insurance.	1.2731	0.03438	260	203	43	14
4833	Good news — your viper signs are all within normal range.	1.2730	0.03255	282	219	49	14
4834	So far, all of your results are looking pretty normal.	1.2727	0.03464	242	187	44	11
4835	Your lungs are fine	1.2727	0.03464	242	187	44	11
4836	It’s confirmed. Slythrin House!	1.2727	0.03464	242	187	44	11
4837	I understand you’re experiencing some constriction.	1.2727	0.03573	231	179	41	11
4838	She's fine. She's not supposed to have feathers.	1.2727	0.03505	275	219	37	19
4839	Nothing to worry about, Mr. Sheldrake. His muscle tone appears to be excellent.	1.2727	0.03546	253	199	39	15
4840	I'm ordering a series of tests so we can find out what's wrong with you.	1.2727	0.03457	253	197	43	13
4841	So it seems you have some hypertension	1.2727	0.03350	275	215	45	15
4842	I'm prescribing a feather boa. That should relieve your chest constriction.	1.2727	0.03562	242	189	40	13
4843	For your high blood pressure, I’m referring you to a vet.	1.2727	0.03677	231	181	37	13
4844	So I see from your chart you're experiencing some tightness in your chest - when did this start?	1.2727	0.03562	242	189	40	13
4845	Next time, don't try to eat a human sideways.	1.2724	0.03550	257	203	38	16
4846	He’s bonded with you.	1.2724	0.03328	246	188	49	9
4847	Given the strength of her attachment, I'd urge you to rethink your view of this as some sort of illness.	1.2724	0.03377	246	189	47	10
4848	No, I’m not Dr. Dolittle. And no, I can’t reason with the damn snake.	1.2724	0.03660	246	195	35	16
4849	Just to be on the safe side, we’re gonna do some blood work, a CAT scan, MRI, and an X-Ray. Hang tight and the Nurse will be right in to move things along.	1.2724	0.03615	246	194	37	15
4850	I think a referral is in order. Dr. Rikki-Tikki-Tavi.	1.2724	0.03474	246	191	43	12
4851	Can you tell me why you've been so wound up?"	1.2724	0.03522	246	192	41	13
4852	Here's a prescription for separation anxiety.	1.2724	0.03569	246	193	39	14
4853	We’ll have to run some tests, because there could be a lot of reasons why you feel you can’t breathe.	1.2723	0.03682	235	185	36	14
4854	So, how long have you felt this tightening in your chest?	1.2723	0.03479	235	181	44	10
4855	So you're experiencing a constricting sensation?	1.2723	0.03479	235	181	44	10
4856	You should shed in 4-6 weeks. Stay on a restricted diet.	1.2723	0.03531	235	182	42	11
4857	We're not sure about the final diagnosis, but you've put on a lot of weight and your skin is scaly and discolored.	1.2723	0.03646	224	174	39	11
4858	So.. it says here you're a snake charmer and worried that you're a little too wrapped up in your work.	1.2720	0.03469	261	205	41	15
4859	Have you considered that your choice of therapy animal may be contributing to the constriction that you say you’re feeling in your chest?	1.2720	0.03427	261	204	43	14
4860	Monty, I suggest you use this Python to your benefit...	1.2720	0.03512	261	206	39	16
4861	Next time I suggest you wear the gown rather than a boa.	1.2720	0.03483	250	195	42	13
4862	I think she may have been asking for a feathered boa.	1.2720	0.03590	239	187	39	13
4863	Try this prescription. If that tightness in your chest doesn't go away call me back.	1.2720	0.03639	239	188	37	14
4864	I understand it’s supporting you emotionally, but ...	1.2720	0.03590	239	187	39	13
4865	We think we know what’s causing the rash.	1.2720	0.03541	239	186	41	12
4866	Looks like a classic case of abandonment issues, but I'm just wondering, how did you manage to get your shirt off?	1.2719	0.03380	228	173	48	7
4867	It's unlikely your insurance will cover the procedure though I do know a local chef who might be interested.	1.2719	0.03707	228	179	36	13
4868	Hmm,let's see: You report you were swimming when you felt a tightness in your chest and some abdominal pressure?	1.2719	0.03437	228	174	46	8
4869	You seem so wrapped up in yourself.	1.2719	0.03493	228	175	44	9
4870	When did you feed him his last mouse?	1.2719	0.03437	228	174	46	8
4871	So when did that chest pain begin?	1.2717	0.03391	265	207	44	14
4872	You're covered, but we're out of network for the Python." Miriam Salzer, Pacifica, CA	1.2717	0.03555	265	211	36	18
4873	So let’s talk about your blood pressure.	1.2717	0.03433	265	208	42	15
4874	So these symptoms started after your trip to the Everglades?	1.2717	0.03391	265	207	44	14
4875	You'll have to relax your asp before we can begin.	1.2717	0.03635	265	213	32	20
4876	Thank you, Mr Thompson. You can put your coat back on now.	1.2717	0.03391	265	207	44	14
4877	I'm afraid python is out of my scope of practice, I'm referring you to a specialist.	1.2717	0.03353	254	196	47	11
4878	And you took the subway here? Only in New York!	1.2717	0.03578	254	201	37	16
4879	Your blood pressure is a little higher than I'd like.	1.2717	0.03353	254	196	47	11
4880	Keep the snake warm and rested, it’s an endangered species. As far as your smartphone goes, you’ll just have to sift through its feces.	1.2717	0.03445	254	198	43	13
4881	Losing the weight should not be a problem.	1.2716	0.03501	243	189	42	12
4882	I'm thinking, No MRI.	1.2716	0.03402	243	187	46	10
4883	How did you get your shirt buttoned ?	1.2716	0.03452	243	188	44	11
4884	You say she just asked you to hold it for a minute	1.2716	0.03343	232	176	49	7
4885	So Monty ... do you and Mister Cuddles share a health insurance plan? Or life insurance?	1.2716	0.03812	232	185	31	16
4886	This is just Sammy's way of coping with the current cold snap.	1.2714	0.03397	269	211	43	15
4887	Good news, its not a heart a heart attack...	1.2713	0.03318	258	199	48	11
4888	I don't care how warm it keeps you, you're living a very constricted life.	1.2713	0.03408	258	201	44	13
4889	Preliminary results indicate you may be allergic to snake skin.	1.2713	0.03318	258	199	48	11
4890	This may sound unconventional, but I'm going to prescribe opioids.	1.2713	0.03647	247	196	35	16
4891	When did your fear of snakes begin?	1.2713	0.03462	247	192	43	12
4892	I prescribe socks for you and a mouse for the snake.	1.2713	0.03509	247	193	41	13
4893	It says here on your medical history that you list him as your 'main squeeze'	1.2713	0.03366	247	190	47	10
4894	You're going to need a bigger shirt.	1.2713	0.03462	247	192	43	12
4895	Just keep it well fed	1.2713	0.03647	247	196	35	16
4896	It would appear that you have an intestinal constriction.	1.2712	0.03466	236	182	44	10
4897	I'm unsure if the cause is genetic or environmental.	1.2712	0.03466	236	182	44	10
4898	It says here that you're feeling some tightness in your chest. Have you ever had any issues handling stress or anxiety?	1.2711	0.03576	225	174	41	10
4899	So, exactly how long have you been wrapped up in this?	1.2710	0.03458	262	206	41	15
4900	Shortness of breath, dizziness, exhaustion, numbness in the extremities - I'm just not seeing any cause for these symptoms, Mr. Kozak.	1.2710	0.03500	262	207	39	16
4901	You're way too uptight.	1.2710	0.03663	262	211	31	20
4902	I think this does affect your breathing.	1.2710	0.03415	262	205	43	14
4903	So tell me, which flight were you on?	1.2710	0.03372	262	204	45	13
4904	What you have is a twelve foot case of Anacondadosis.	1.2709	0.03561	251	198	38	15
4905	So, I gather that the weighted blanket wasn't working.	1.2709	0.03330	251	193	48	10
4906	So tell me. How long have you felt all wound up and short of breath?	1.2709	0.03424	251	195	44	12
4907	First of all, you've probably taken your last Uber.	1.2709	0.03282	251	192	50	9
4908	I know things are a little tight right now, but is your insurance up to date?	1.2709	0.03424	251	195	44	12
4909	And when did you first notice difficulty with your breathing?	1.2709	0.03282	251	192	50	9
4910	I would like to see you again in six months.	1.2708	0.03577	240	188	39	13
4911	Let me refer you to our Herpetologist.	1.2708	0.03428	240	185	45	10
4912	How long have you had this constriction?	1.2708	0.03478	240	186	43	11
4913	I see you’ve met the newest addition to our team. He’s great with hernia and prostate exams.	1.2708	0.03528	240	187	41	12
4914	So he told you to "trussst in him" ?	1.2707	0.03588	229	178	40	11
4915	The apple-a-day thing? I'd let that slide.	1.2707	0.03693	229	180	36	13
4916	I can't check your thyroid unless you take off your snake.	1.2707	0.03380	266	208	44	14
4917	How long have you felt this constricted?	1.2706	0.03650	218	169	39	10
4918	So tell me again when your breathing problems began?	1.2706	0.03284	218	163	51	4
4919	Your chest sounds constricted.	1.2706	0.03478	255	200	41	14
4920	Yes, it's spelled the same; but it's not cross-dressing.	1.2706	0.03342	255	197	47	11
4921	This prescription should help with the difficulty breathing.	1.2706	0.03342	255	197	47	11
4922	So tell me, is there any hisssssstory of molting in your family?	1.2706	0.03565	255	202	37	16
4923	I would recommend treading more lightly next time.	1.2705	0.03536	244	191	40	13
4924	In rare circumstances insurance plans will cover snake oil.	1.2705	0.03340	244	187	48	9
4925	You really are in a bind huh?	1.2705	0.03488	244	190	42	12
4926	And how long has your chest been feeling constricted?	1.2705	0.03390	244	188	46	10
4927	So, your chart says you're experiencing shortness of breath, constriction in the chest, and dry scaly skin. I'd like refer you to a couple of specialists.	1.2705	0.03390	244	188	46	10
4928	I have this tightness in my chest, doc.	1.2705	0.03488	244	190	42	12
4929	This isn't the blood pressure test I ordered from Amazon	1.2705	0.03446	281	224	38	19
4930	Ask all your friends to prey for you	1.2704	0.03546	233	181	41	11
4931	This looks s-s-s-s-serious.	1.2704	0.03493	233	180	43	10
4932	The chest tightness is caused by separation anxiety,shall I refer you to a vet or psychiatrist?	1.2704	0.03546	233	181	41	11
4933	So you say you're experiencing a tightness in your chest?	1.2704	0.03262	270	209	49	12
4934	Please describe your Chief Complaint.	1.2704	0.03506	270	215	37	18
4935	I'm going to prescribe some over-the-counter snake oil this time.	1.2703	0.03771	222	175	34	13
4936	Mr. Rush, Have you ever considered owning a cat or a dog instead?	1.2703	0.03396	259	202	44	13
4937	The squeeze is only until you pay your balance.	1.2703	0.03825	222	176	32	14
4938	I’ll run the usual battery of tests and we’ll see what that tells us.	1.2703	0.03261	259	199	50	10
4939	In the last six months, have you experienced any of the following symptoms?	1.2702	0.03589	248	196	37	15
4940	I'm going to prescribe a statin...your blood pressure is through the roof	1.2702	0.03450	248	193	43	12
4941	Any other symptoms besides tightness in the chest?	1.2702	0.03204	248	188	53	7
4942	Is says here you've been in the garden of Eden recently.	1.2702	0.03255	248	189	51	8
4943	I'm prescribing something. You're wound too tight.	1.2702	0.03354	248	191	47	10
4944	YOUR DEDUCTIBLE ONLY COVERS THE VENOM	1.2702	0.03766	248	200	29	19
4945	You say you feel some constriction in your chest...	1.2702	0.03402	248	192	45	11
4946	Sorry, insurance won't cover that. Can we interest you in an anti-depressant?	1.2700	0.03454	237	183	44	10
4947	I think we're dealing with more than just a sore throat here...	1.2700	0.03732	200	154	38	8
4948	So...shortness of breath, pain in your chest and swelling in your legs and feet. I’ll need to order a few tests. How’s your insurance?	1.2700	0.03229	263	202	51	10
4949	I'd like to schedule a colonoscopy for you.	1.2699	0.03980	226	183	25	18
4950	The results came back, and it appears like you have a snake constricting around you.	1.2699	0.03617	226	176	39	11
4951	I will prescribe a daily moisturizer to minimize the shedding.	1.2699	0.03450	226	173	45	8
4952	Worst case of 'I got a crush on you' syndrome I've ever seen.	1.2699	0.03562	226	175	41	10
4953	Farewell to Arms.	1.2698	0.03504	252	198	40	14
4954	At least it's solving your mouse problem.	1.2698	0.03437	215	163	46	6
4955	Sir, you may have entered your symptoms online but I'm the expert here.	1.2697	0.03515	241	188	41	12
4956	What I can do for you is put you in touch with an excellent tailor"	1.2697	0.03415	241	186	45	10
4957	I'll start by giving you somthing to get the tail out and then we will see how things go from there...	1.2697	0.03612	241	190	37	14
4958	Let's just wrap this up; oh, sorry.	1.2697	0.03206	241	182	53	6
4959	An apple a day may not be the answer.	1.2697	0.03564	241	189	39	13
4960	I’m going to write you a referral to the best snake charmer I know	1.2697	0.03415	241	186	45	10
4961	Do you have a family history of this?	1.2697	0.03707	241	192	33	16
4962	Yeah, this has been going around. Two rats a day for three days ought to fix it.	1.2697	0.03564	241	189	39	13
4963	Reflexes... not great...	1.2696	0.03466	230	177	44	9
4964	I may be going out on a limb here, but by any chance have you visited the tropics recently?	1.2696	0.03679	230	181	36	13
4965	Are you experiencing any tightness in your chest?	1.2696	0.03627	230	180	38	12
4966	Would you mind removing your snake for the exam?	1.2695	0.03466	256	201	41	14
4967	I'm afraid your airways are a bit constricted.	1.2695	0.03376	256	199	45	12
4968	Alternative medicine weight loss treatments are not usually effective.	1.2695	0.03284	256	197	49	10
4969	I'm a bit concerned about your cholesterol.	1.2695	0.03376	256	199	45	12
4970	Obama-care coverage included foreign snakes such as this Burmese Python, but now we're only allowed to deal with domestic breeds from the USA.	1.2695	0.03421	256	200	43	13
4971	If the snake lasts more than 4 hours call me.	1.2694	0.03617	245	194	36	15
4972	I'm giving you a prescription for a herpetologist.	1.2694	0.03476	245	191	42	12
4973	Besides your breathing problem,any other symptoms	1.2694	0.03571	245	193	38	14
4974	Actually, this is the third case I’ve seen this week...	1.2694	0.03524	245	192	40	13
4975	I know herpetology is your passion ... but you seem too wrapped up in your work. You should seek an escape route.	1.2694	0.03524	245	192	40	13
4976	Oh,have I got the perfect oil for you...	1.2692	0.03472	260	205	40	15
4977	I'm going to send you to a vet first to confirm the diagnosis.	1.2692	0.03373	234	179	47	8
4978	You're in very good health, and I anticipate you will remain so for the duration of your presidency and beyond.	1.2692	0.03942	208	165	30	13
4979	Well, it's not a gastric ulcer or gallstones - we'll have to order some more tests.	1.2692	0.03533	234	182	41	11
4980	In Florida, cases like this are fairly common.	1.2692	0.03427	234	180	45	9
4981	Feeling constricted, you say?	1.2692	0.03385	260	203	44	13
4982	I get it. Between work, family, we're all feeling squeezed.	1.2692	0.03341	260	202	46	12
4983	I am prescribing some anti-anxiety medication for you."	1.2692	0.03533	234	182	41	11
4984	I squeezed you in when I heard of your emergency.	1.2691	0.03666	249	199	33	17
4985	Your vitals look good, Mowgli.	1.2691	0.03531	249	196	39	14
4986	I can assure you, sir, lung cancer is the least of your worries	1.2691	0.03484	249	195	41	13
4987	I'm sorry, but your lab tests and imaging all came back normal. I think it's just stress.	1.2691	0.03535	223	172	42	9
4988	This is a classic case of co-dependent separation anxiety.	1.2691	0.03810	223	177	32	14
4989	Good news, Pythons are not endangered.	1.2691	0.03359	223	169	48	6
4990	Okay, you feel constricted, and what else are you feeling?	1.2689	0.03435	264	208	41	15
4991	I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover pre-exisssssssssting conditions.	1.2689	0.03641	238	188	36	14
4992	The snake's gonna be OK...you might rethink its feeding routine.	1.2689	0.03543	238	186	40	12
4993	There’s an experimental treatment for this. Have you heard of mongoose?	1.2689	0.03543	238	186	40	12
4994	Before I let you know what we are going to do, I just want to know how you got your shirt on over it!	1.2689	0.03441	238	184	44	10
4995	Sorry, we ran out of hospital gowns.	1.2688	0.03536	253	200	38	15
4996	You will need to uncoil, so I can exam you.	1.2688	0.03307	253	195	48	10
4997	Good news! That "constricted feeling" you mentioned is not your heart.	1.2688	0.03259	253	194	50	9
4998	Good news! We've identified what's causing the tightness in your chest	1.2688	0.03354	253	196	46	11
4999	Good news - your blood pressure has come down.	1.2688	0.03354	253	196	46	11
5000	Esta es la segunda anaconda argentina que he visto este ano.	1.2688	0.03492	253	199	40	14
5001	I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot provide my diagnosis until you sign the waiver form.	1.2687	0.03437	227	174	45	8
5002	Have you considered dating females of a more appropriate species?	1.2687	0.03493	227	175	43	9
5003	I’d like to run some tests to find out why you’re feeling constricted.	1.2687	0.03657	227	178	37	12
5004	Diagnosing the cause of high blood pressure is notoriously difficult.	1.2687	0.03657	227	178	37	12
5005	Have you tried losing some weight?	1.2687	0.03399	268	211	42	15
5006	I'm afraid you will have to take off your scarf if you'd like me to examine you, Mr Smith.	1.2686	0.03599	242	191	37	14
5007	Does your Rx insurance cover snake oil?”	1.2686	0.03646	242	192	35	15
5008	You’re the third herpetologist in my office this week.	1.2686	0.03551	242	190	39	13
5009	So, Mr. Idle - I think you've probably squeezed about all you can out of this python gig.	1.2686	0.03693	242	193	33	16
5010	You say your parents never hugged you?	1.2686	0.03403	242	187	45	10
5011	We call it the 'tax payer' syndrome.	1.2686	0.03646	242	192	35	15
5012	I think I finally got a handle on your nagging back and chest pains.	1.2685	0.03273	257	198	49	10
5013	Leave it on for six weeks. If it sheds its skin, come back in and we'll reset it.	1.2685	0.03226	257	197	51	9
5014	Let's try Valium. It helps when you're too wound up.	1.2685	0.03364	257	200	45	12
5015	You might feel a slight pinch...	1.2685	0.03409	257	201	43	13
5016	I said 'on' the scales, not 'in' the scales	1.2684	0.03453	231	178	44	9
5017	Do you feel a crushing chest pain?	1.2684	0.03198	272	210	51	11
5018	Unwind.	1.2684	0.03156	272	209	53	10
5019	Let me guess...online E.D. meds?	1.2683	0.03415	246	191	44	11
5020	When did this squeezing sensation in your chest begin?	1.2683	0.03366	246	190	46	10
5021	I can't examine you unless you remove your snake.	1.2683	0.03695	246	197	32	17
5022	Generally an ostrich boa makes for a better fashion statement...	1.2682	0.03460	261	206	40	15
5023	Mr. Williams, our diagnoses show both you and Bertie with species appropriate symptoms of the common cold. So, push the fluids, and call us if either of you isn’t feeling better in a few days.	1.2682	0.03417	261	205	42	14
5024	when did this chest tightness start?	1.2682	0.03460	261	206	40	15
5025	What made you switch from the feathered variety?	1.2682	0.03678	220	172	37	11
5026	Looking at these lab results, I’d say we have reason to suspect a parasite.	1.2682	0.03678	220	172	37	11
5027	And when did you begin to feel constipated?	1.2681	0.03621	235	185	37	13
5028	‘’We need to think out of the box here. Probiotics aren’t gonna do the job.”	1.2681	0.03467	235	182	43	10
5029	So you say he's a hugger?	1.2681	0.03306	235	179	49	7
5030	Apparently you have an unpaid balance	1.2680	0.03518	250	197	39	14
5031	When was the first time you felt boa constricted?	1.2680	0.03425	250	195	43	12
5032	I don't know what to tell you Stan, you just need to loosen up.	1.2680	0.03182	250	190	53	7
5033	Fortunately, sir, it's a non-venomous species.	1.2680	0.03330	250	193	47	10
5034	When did the sensation of tightness in your chest start?	1.2679	0.03381	265	208	43	14
5035	You were supposed to hook-up with Eve!	1.2679	0.03339	265	207	45	13
5036	Coverage depends on how long this condition has existed.	1.2679	0.03252	265	205	49	11
5037	If you could just sit tight, we'll get that specialist in to have a look-see.	1.2679	0.03374	280	222	41	17
5038	I see no reason for concern. Feelings of constriction in the throat and chest are often just be a sign of anxiety.	1.2679	0.03633	224	175	38	11
5039	But of course there are caveats. Side effects include blurred vision, muscle cramping, and shortness of breath.	1.2679	0.03847	224	179	30	15
5040	You do know that there are other methods to control your blood pressure	1.2678	0.03628	239	189	36	14
5041	Let's run a few tests to see what's going on here	1.2678	0.03579	239	188	38	13
5042	When did you first notice the tightness in your chest?	1.2678	0.03530	239	187	40	12
5043	We will make this quick, I know you are on a tight schedule.	1.2678	0.03479	239	186	42	11
5044	You're welcome to get a second opinion, but I strongly advise surgery over acupuncture.	1.2677	0.03434	254	199	42	13
5045	One more time, breath in, breath out, please.	1.2677	0.03434	254	199	42	13
5046	Hmmmm, most report it feels like an elephant is sitting on the chest	1.2677	0.03296	254	196	48	10
5047	Your blood pressure is way up there.	1.2677	0.03342	254	197	46	11
5048	Your stress test results are normal.	1.2677	0.03342	254	197	46	11
5049	Adam, can you tell me how ling has Eve been missing?	1.2677	0.03296	254	196	48	10
5050	I can’t tell what’s your problem. We’ll need additional testing.	1.2677	0.03428	269	213	40	16
5051	I'm sorry but we have a no exceptions policy prohibiting comfort animals in the office.	1.2675	0.03535	228	177	41	10
5052	I see that Patient Services has addressed your complaint about the gown coming untied.	1.2675	0.03535	228	177	41	10
5053	Well, then I'd recommend you stop exhaling.	1.2675	0.03695	228	180	35	13
5054	Come back in the spring. It's hibernating.	1.2675	0.03725	243	195	31	17
5055	One asp every four hours and call me in the morning.	1.2675	0.03679	243	194	33	16
5056	So you went as Natassja Kinski	1.2675	0.03633	243	193	35	15
5057	So let me understand...are you feeling constipated or constricted?	1.2675	0.03391	243	188	45	10
5058	I’m referring you to a snake oil salesman.	1.2675	0.03633	243	193	35	15
5059	And do you have any other pets?	1.2675	0.03391	243	188	45	10
5060	I can't commit to this diagnosis till these shrooms wear off.	1.2674	0.03442	258	203	41	14
5061	And you have how many mouse tatyoos?	1.2674	0.03432	273	217	39	17
5062	I'm prescribing extra strength asp-irin.	1.2672	0.03494	232	180	42	10
5063	Are you allergic to crowbars?	1.2672	0.03403	247	192	44	11
5064	His name is Monty	1.2672	0.03448	262	207	40	15
5065	The good news is the snake is no longer in the grass.	1.2672	0.03183	262	201	52	9
5066	Your blood pressure is through the roof.	1.2671	0.03358	277	219	42	16
5067	When did the chest pain begin?	1.2670	0.03663	221	173	37	11
5068	Well, your weight is up.	1.2670	0.03491	221	170	43	8
5069	I'm prescribing two large chickens a day for 10 days. That should unblock you.	1.2670	0.03663	221	173	37	11
5070	I'm writing a script for two rabbits and a potent muscle relaxant. If you can, call me in two days & let me know if that helped.	1.2669	0.03402	236	182	45	9
5071	It’s not approved by the FDA, but I think snake oil might actually to the trick in this case.	1.2669	0.03506	236	184	41	11
5072	So, when did you start feeling tightness in your chest?	1.2669	0.03454	236	183	43	10
5073	Sorry, we ran out of gowns.	1.2669	0.03551	251	199	37	15
5074	Leave it on for 24 hours, don't bathe or shower, and then...	1.2669	0.03366	251	195	45	11
5075	Have you noticed any tightening of the chest?	1.2669	0.03366	251	195	45	11
5076	Have you noticed any pain other than when you inhale?	1.2669	0.03413	251	196	43	12
5077	Don’t worry, this is a non-invasive procedure.	1.2669	0.03413	251	196	43	12
5078	How long has Bo been having digestive issues?	1.2667	0.03566	240	189	38	13
5079	Well your blood tests seem normal...have you considered the experience you're describing is just anxiety?	1.2667	0.03377	255	199	44	12
5080	So when did this feeling of constriction in your chest start.	1.2667	0.03422	255	200	42	13
5081	Blood pressure and cholesterol are good but can you explain the weight gain?	1.2667	0.03377	255	199	44	12
5082	So, you woke up with a chest tightness?	1.2667	0.03331	255	198	46	11
5083	How's that organic neck brace working for ya?	1.2667	0.03791	210	165	34	11
5084	This relaxation technique combines the benefits of massage and a full body wrap.	1.2667	0.03377	255	199	44	12
5085	Let's try a regimen of snake oil...it's generic, so it should be covered by your insurance.	1.2667	0.03507	225	174	42	9
5086	A potential side effect is delayed orgasm.	1.2667	0.03517	240	188	40	12
5087	Does it hurt when you breathe in?	1.2667	0.03237	255	196	50	9
5088	You put on some weight since your annual checkup.	1.2667	0.03331	255	198	46	11
5089	See me again in two weeks and try to keep your snake in your pants.	1.2667	0.03619	225	176	38	11
5090	The challenge will be to do it quickly so he doesn't constrict.	1.2667	0.03467	255	201	40	14
5091	For the boa constrictor, I'm prescribing Benadryl 2-3 times per day until his muscles loosen up.	1.2667	0.03416	240	186	44	10
5092	Have any special medical restrictions?	1.2667	0.03619	225	176	38	11
5093	Have you considered a weighted blanket?	1.2667	0.03566	240	189	38	13
5094	Well, painting it like a python might work for a while but I’m afraid surgery is the only solution for an overdose of Viagra.	1.2664	0.03600	259	208	33	18
5095	Pets show affection in different ways	1.2664	0.03430	259	204	41	14
5096	Before we remove the snake, you are required to read these pamphlets about the benefits of constriction.	1.2664	0.03666	244	195	33	16
5097	The test results are in. As I thought, you are constricted.	1.2664	0.03225	244	186	51	7
5098	For the last time, I still don’t think the squeezing in your chest is coming from your heart.	1.2664	0.03428	244	190	43	11
5099	Do you have your own zoologist who you like to see or would you like me to send you out with a referral?	1.2664	0.03379	244	189	45	10
5100	Let’s do a strep test just to make sure.	1.2664	0.03733	229	182	33	14
5101	I'm prescribing two mice and removal of your "Don't Tread On Me " flag. "	1.2664	0.03681	229	181	35	13
5102	Well it's entirely up to you Mr Arbuthnot, but I can't make my examination if you refuse to take that boa constrictor off.	1.2664	0.03733	229	182	33	14
5103	Well I have to read this statement from HPPA and get your signature before we start talking in front of this, uh, third party-even if you are his main squeeze!	1.2662	0.03386	278	221	40	17
5104	All I know is I loose my breath after one flight of stairs	1.2662	0.03351	263	206	44	13
5105	Seems you've got constricted airways.	1.2662	0.03478	263	209	38	16
5106	I'm prescribing you an anti-boatics for 7 days, 3 times a day	1.2661	0.03486	248	195	40	13
5107	Let me order a CT scan of the chest to figure out why you have trouble breathing.	1.2661	0.03439	248	194	42	12
5108	The constriction diet is just another fad that doesn’t work.	1.2661	0.03342	248	192	46	10
5109	Is Monty your stage name?	1.2661	0.03532	248	196	38	14
5110	Let's wait and see. After all, what does not kill you just makes you stronger	1.2661	0.03713	248	200	30	18
5111	Worst case scenario, you’ll get through it in a couple of months	1.2661	0.03486	248	195	40	13
5112	Well, good news is camouflage is back in fashion	1.2661	0.03481	233	181	42	10
5113	Looks like a codependency problem. I 'm referring you to couples' therapy.	1.2661	0.03586	233	183	38	12
5114	Good news! It's benign.	1.2661	0.03318	233	178	48	7
5115	Have you had trouble breathing before?	1.2661	0.03534	233	182	40	11
5116	So the drag queen auditioms didn’t specify a feather boa?	1.2661	0.03807	218	173	32	13
5117	I'm referring you to a snake oil salesman you should see.	1.2659	0.03231	267	207	49	11
5118	"He's in with a parakeet and a coal miner right now.	1.2659	0.03538	252	200	37	15
5119	Really, diet and exercise is still the best method...	1.2659	0.03210	252	193	51	8
5120	Difficulty breathing, high blood pressure, intense anxiety — I have just the drug for you . . . .	1.2659	0.03538	252	200	37	15
5121	Have you considered another cause rather than PETA?	1.2658	0.03493	237	185	41	11
5122	So how would you rate your anxiety?	1.2658	0.03442	237	184	43	10
5123	Don't worry, when you finish shedding you'll look like all the other snakes.	1.2658	0.03644	237	188	35	14
5124	I think couples counseling might be the best bet for the two of you.	1.2658	0.03649	222	174	37	11
5125	Fortunately, I know a good snake oil salesman.	1.2658	0.03759	222	176	33	13
5126	The good news is the snake has a tumor. The bad news is it's not going to finish him before he finishes you.	1.2658	0.03535	222	172	41	9
5127	It appears that the snake oil didn't work.	1.2657	0.03886	207	164	31	12
5128	And do you have any family history of compression by boa constrictor?	1.2656	0.03411	256	201	42	13
5129	Come back in two weeks if it's still bothering you.	1.2656	0.03365	256	200	44	12
5130	My first question is, “do you have matching shoes?	1.2656	0.03543	256	204	36	16
5131	And what is your date of birth?	1.2656	0.03553	241	190	38	13
5132	Next time check with me first before trying a fad diet off the internet.	1.2656	0.03404	241	187	44	10
5133	So, when did you notice that you couldn’t swallow?	1.2656	0.03553	241	190	38	13
5134	No one ever reads the fine print on those Python bootcamp applications.	1.2655	0.03331	275	217	43	15
5135	I think we figured out what's causing that sore throat.	1.2654	0.03240	260	201	49	10
5136	Tightness in the chest can be a sign of heart trouble...	1.2654	0.03418	260	205	41	14
5137	. . . and one 3 ounce can of Snake Oil.	1.2653	0.03607	245	195	35	15
5138	It's been a very busy morning, so I appreciate your patience.	1.2652	0.03342	230	176	47	7
5139	Based on your symptoms, I'd say you're having a heart attack, but we'll run some tests to be sure.	1.2652	0.03718	230	183	33	14
5140	Let me understand this. You were trying to raise your social media profile?	1.2652	0.03425	264	209	40	15
5141	Any family history of high blood pressure?	1.2652	0.03467	264	210	38	16
5142	Your constricted lifestyle may be contributing to your hypertension.	1.2651	0.03474	249	196	40	13
5143	Just give me a call if the constriction doesn't go away within two weeks.	1.2651	0.03474	249	196	40	13
5144	I'm his doctor; where's yours?	1.2651	0.03611	249	199	34	16
5145	So how long have you been feeling this tightness in your chest?	1.2650	0.03250	234	178	50	6
5146	You thought combining a therapy animal and an anxiety vest would help?	1.2650	0.03415	234	181	44	9
5147	Listen, impersonating a poop emoji comes with risks.	1.2650	0.03520	234	183	40	11
5148	This should keep you from getting so wound up.	1.2650	0.03572	234	184	38	12
5149	I'd like to run some tests to see what might be causing the chest tightness.	1.2650	0.03468	234	182	42	10
5150	I'm sorry, but I am putting you on a constricted diet.	1.2649	0.03220	268	208	49	11
5151	This is just for the swelling. We'll have to put you on a steady dose of piranhas to eat away the infection.	1.2649	0.03389	268	212	41	15
5152	Just feed it field mice three time daily for a week and you'll be fine.	1.2649	0.03220	268	208	49	11
5153	Tipping the scales at 200 lbs, again, Mr. Peterson?	1.2648	0.03622	219	171	38	10
5154	I'm going to order some tests to see if we can unravel the cause of your problem.	1.2648	0.03383	219	167	46	6
5155	This will help if there's any bloating - it's for the snake.	1.2648	0.03436	253	199	41	13
5156	Let's see. High Blood Pressure, tightness in your chest, and stomach cramps...	1.2648	0.03436	253	199	41	13
5157	Take 3 tablespoons of snake oil and call me in the morning.	1.2647	0.03377	238	184	45	9
5158	Well, it’s not the kiss of death or anything.	1.2647	0.03270	238	182	49	7
5159	So Adam when did the snake problem begin	1.2647	0.03314	272	214	44	14
5160	Well....it looks like we found the cause of the tightness in your chest	1.2647	0.03774	238	192	29	17
5161	For now, take these medicines, go home, try to rest and avoid Discovery Channel.	1.2646	0.03954	223	181	25	17
5162	Unfortunately this is putting a real squeeze on your insurance	1.2645	0.03441	242	189	42	11
5163	We think your condition might be psychosomatic.	1.2645	0.03491	242	190	40	12
5164	I don't quite understand... could you explain again what brought you in today?	1.2645	0.03441	242	189	42	11
5165	So, you wanted to get your wife a boa?	1.2644	0.03492	261	208	37	16
5166	Research says that big hugs help heal you.	1.2644	0.03319	261	204	45	12
5167	For future reference, your pet is not considered a service animal.	1.2643	0.03644	227	179	36	12
5168	Unfortunately the side effects include asphyxiation followed by death, any vomiting?	1.2643	0.03644	227	179	36	12
5169	Jerry, since last time, your weight and blood pressure has gone up quite a bit...	1.2643	0.03591	227	178	38	11
5170	Yeah, there's certainly some swelling in your right big toe. Take a couple of aspirin and ice it every few hours. You'll be fine.	1.2643	0.03750	227	181	32	14
5171	I'm prescribing that you use a turtle neck sweater, it will be just as warm, but less constrictive.	1.2643	0.03536	227	177	40	10
5172	Your EKG and lipid panel look good. I wouldn't worry too much about chest pains and shortness of breath in your case.	1.2642	0.03452	246	193	41	12
5173	You're going to feel some strong compression.	1.2642	0.03355	246	191	45	10
5174	Remember unwinding becomes more difficult as you age.	1.2642	0.03254	246	189	49	8
5175	We'll re do your x-ray and this time take a deep breath and hold it.	1.2642	0.03060	265	202	56	7
5176	Weight?...I'll just put 160. I don't want you to step on the scales	1.2641	0.03704	231	184	33	14
5177	Take two muscle relaxers every five minutes.	1.2640	0.03221	250	192	50	8
5178	Well, there's your problem. It's not giving you two rescue breaths after every thirty chest compressions.	1.2640	0.03270	250	193	48	9
5179	I'm prescribing rest and relaxation. You seem pretty tightly wound.	1.2639	0.03252	269	210	47	12
5180	Your prior doctor was what we call a snake oil salesman.	1.2639	0.03653	216	169	37	10
5181	You appear to be a bit constricted.	1.2638	0.03609	235	186	36	13
5182	Next time, please make it a Boa, Anaconda is so hard to spell correctly when typing your case into the new medical records system.	1.2638	0.03402	235	182	44	9
5183	Would you say that your breathing has been somewhat constricted lately?	1.2638	0.03332	254	198	45	11
5184	I’ll tell you what’s suffocating are those gosh darn insurance companies.”	1.2638	0.03332	254	198	45	11
5185	I think we have pin pointed that tight feelings your chest.	1.2638	0.03332	254	198	45	11
5186	I am going to give you a referral to an orthopedic guy for that ankle.	1.2638	0.03332	254	198	45	11
5187	The insurance company says it's a pre-exisssting condition.	1.2637	0.03262	273	214	46	13
5188	So once we shrug off this mortal coil...	1.2636	0.03831	220	176	30	14
5189	Just a little translation issue with our off shore back office. Should have been 2 a day with restrictions not constrictions	1.2636	0.03616	239	190	35	14
5190	Let's try "conscious uncoupling."	1.2636	0.03416	239	186	43	10
5191	But on the bright side, you no longer have to worry about your issues with ED.	1.2636	0.03416	239	186	43	10
5192	I see. You told your wife you don't wear scarves. So she suggested a boa.	1.2636	0.03468	239	187	41	11
5193	The tests say your fine!	1.2636	0.03432	258	204	40	14
5194	I'm afraid we can only treat the symptoms.	1.2636	0.03297	258	201	46	11
5195	This treatment isn't for everybody.	1.2636	0.03109	258	197	54	7
5196	I know you're new to transvestism but the term boa is usually preceded by feather.	1.2634	0.03622	243	194	34	15
5197	You know, I said STEAK and kidney pie.	1.2634	0.03277	243	187	48	8
5198	So. How long have the two of you been wrapped-up in this relationship?	1.2634	0.03478	243	191	40	12
5199	I'm afraid your colonoscopy is going to cost triple.	1.2632	0.03534	247	196	37	14
5200	If this lasts longer than 4 hours you need to go to the emergency room	1.2632	0.03626	247	198	33	16
5201	I recommended constricted activity, not constrictor activity.	1.2632	0.03392	247	193	43	11
5202	You're having trouble breathing?	1.2632	0.03580	247	197	35	15
5203	So, it says here you're feeling a little physically constricted.	1.2632	0.03392	247	193	43	11
5204	Your glucose is fine. You'll need to schedule a return appointment to address any other concerns.	1.2632	0.03274	266	208	46	12
5205	Your blood pressure is somewhat high...	1.2632	0.03731	209	164	35	10
5206	Ignore what I said last time. Fresh air is overrated.	1.2632	0.03343	247	192	45	10
5207	Nonsense. It’s not medical costs squeezing you.	1.2632	0.03440	247	194	41	12
5208	I think you have about two hours to live.	1.2632	0.03360	266	210	42	14
5209	Your asp is hanging out.	1.2632	0.03525	266	214	34	18
5210	It seems to be that you have a broken toe.	1.2630	0.03326	270	213	43	14
5211	Here's a prescription. Call me in a couple of weeks if your chest tightness persists.	1.2629	0.03629	251	202	32	17
5212	Don't you think that your comfort pet is a bit unnerving?	1.2629	0.03495	251	199	38	14
5213	Boas are so last season.	1.2629	0.03495	251	199	38	14
5214	Do you have any pet allergies?	1.2629	0.03307	251	195	46	10
5215	It's a new, more comprehensive way of measuring your blood pressure.	1.2629	0.03402	251	197	42	12
5216	I can see your tapeworm has really gotten out of control.	1.2629	0.03495	251	199	38	14
5217	I know I should have chosen “Truth”.	1.2629	0.03540	251	200	36	15
5218	Well the good news is your crippling loneliness is cured.	1.2629	0.03428	232	180	43	9
5219	So, why do you think you're short of breath?	1.2629	0.03587	232	183	37	12
5220	There is very limited data regarding constriction as a viable weight loss method.	1.2627	0.03320	255	199	45	11
5221	That crushing feeling in hour chest? Not a heart attack.	1.2627	0.03366	255	200	43	12
5222	OK, so you ordered this on Amazon and...	1.2627	0.03412	255	201	41	13
5223	And any difficulty breathing?	1.2627	0.03273	255	198	47	10
5224	*And how was your relationship with the python before this incident?	1.2627	0.03178	255	196	51	8
5225	It's your anxiety that's the issue here.	1.2627	0.03596	236	187	36	13
5226	I recommend that you go back to the snake charmer in the medina.	1.2627	0.03545	236	186	38	12
5227	Next time I'd go with the feathered option.	1.2627	0.03791	236	191	28	17
5228	As a fan of The Big Lebowski, all I can say is consider yourself lucky - and remember 'A wiser fella once said, sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well, the bear eats you.'	1.2627	0.03494	236	185	40	11
5229	Looks like it's either you or your pet. But first, I must look at the extinct animals list.	1.2625	0.03376	259	204	42	13
5230	If you experience any further tightness of the chest, schedule a follow up immediately.	1.2625	0.03193	259	200	50	9
5231	And how long have you been in a symbiotic relationship?	1.2625	0.03050	259	197	56	6
5232	The good news is that your snake’s LDL is low. The bad news is that you’re going to die.	1.2625	0.03300	240	185	47	8
5233	I’ll need pre-approval from your insurance before I sell you the oil.	1.2625	0.03455	240	188	41	11
5234	I'm not sure; sounds like snake coil to me.	1.2625	0.03554	240	190	37	13
5235	Sorry, you'll have to remove the snake too before I can examine you.	1.2625	0.03404	240	187	43	10
5236	I'm going to need the snake's head in front.	1.2625	0.03505	240	189	39	12
5237	Here's a note for the herpetologist down the street.	1.2625	0.03404	240	187	43	10
5238	I'm going to suggest a different weight-control program for you, Mr. Harris.	1.2624	0.03706	221	175	34	12
5239	Not covered by your policy.Take two aspirin and I’ll see if YouTube has a DIY video that does.	1.2624	0.03593	221	173	38	10
5240	There is a slight risk of death. But I wouldn’t get too wrapped up on it.	1.2624	0.03536	221	172	40	9
5241	Hmm...your blood pressure is a little high.	1.2623	0.03213	244	187	50	7
5242	20 minutes in the sun and you should feel less constricted!	1.2623	0.03316	244	189	46	9
5243	I understand you have squeezing chest pain. We will have to order a battery of tests.	1.2623	0.03466	244	192	40	12
5244	Now you see why fad diets aren't a good idea?	1.2623	0.03609	244	195	34	15
5245	Take two of these and coil me in the morning.	1.2623	0.03701	244	197	30	17
5246	Initial tests indicate you've been under a lot of stress lately.	1.2622	0.03437	225	174	43	8
5247	Do you feel safe in your home?	1.2622	0.03176	267	207	50	10
5248	The good news is, it'll live	1.2621	0.03636	206	160	38	8
5249	Two teaspoons of snake oil and call me in the morning.	1.2621	0.03380	248	194	43	11
5250	Couple's therapy is next door.	1.2621	0.03658	248	200	31	17
5251	Let's cut back on the LSD/CBD oil I gave you. How about chamomile?	1.2621	0.03475	248	196	39	13
5252	Yup, he takes your blood pressure then tells me in Parseltongue.	1.2621	0.03180	248	190	51	7
5253	Have you ever tried wearing a poncho?	1.2621	0.03568	248	198	35	15
5254	I think you know what I'm going to tell you.....You've got cancer.	1.2620	0.03509	229	179	40	10
5255	An apple in the evening will help him unwind.	1.2620	0.03341	229	176	46	7
5256	No need for a follow-up appointment...	1.2620	0.03563	229	180	38	11
5257	You mentioned that your chest feels tight ...	1.2619	0.03437	252	199	40	13
5258	It says here that you’ve been feeling extraordinarily uptight lately.	1.2619	0.03248	252	195	48	9
5259	That boa will kill on the runway.	1.2619	0.03391	252	198	42	12
5260	Well it appears from your chart that you've been feeling a bit constricted lately?	1.2619	0.03344	252	197	44	11
5261	I’m afraid these test results confirm my suspicions, it has returned and spread over your entire body.	1.2619	0.03391	252	198	42	12
5262	On a scale of 1 to 10 how much pain do you have?	1.2618	0.03574	233	184	37	12
5263	You looked as though you needed a hug.	1.2618	0.03676	233	186	33	14
5264	So, when did you decide to tie the knot?	1.2617	0.03309	256	200	45	11
5265	I went to Dartmouth Medical School my friend. Trust me over whatever you Googled and WebMD, it’s just anxiety.	1.2617	0.03309	256	200	45	11
5266	Good news first: the endoscopy shows no blockage.	1.2617	0.03262	256	199	47	10
5267	Well,clearly you're aspmatic	1.2617	0.03728	214	169	34	11
5268	The small print in your insurance policy carries an exclusion for prehistoric conditions.	1.2616	0.03632	237	189	34	14
5269	The sooner you get cold-hearted about him, the sooner he'll slither away.	1.2616	0.03214	237	181	50	6
5270	You feel a tightness in your chest? Okay, let's have a look.	1.2616	0.03429	237	185	42	10
5271	If it gets any worse, call 911	1.2616	0.03481	237	186	40	11
5272	and you're getting in your 10,000 steps, yes?	1.2616	0.03582	237	188	36	13
5273	Patient complains of "being up to here" with snakes and alligators.	1.2616	0.03582	237	188	36	13
5274	The good news is, according to my research, it is non-venomous	1.2615	0.03229	260	202	48	10
5275	Who is your insurer?	1.2615	0.03536	260	209	34	17
5276	There's a cream for this.	1.2615	0.03088	260	199	54	7
5277	Let's try a muscle relaxer.	1.2615	0.03504	218	169	41	8
5278	Good news, lungs are strong. Bad news, they're the snake's.	1.2615	0.03564	218	170	39	9
5279	I 'm just saying that just getting the vaccination may an easier way to protect yourself.	1.2614	0.03492	241	190	39	12
5280	So how long have you felt constriction in your chest and shortness of breath?	1.2614	0.03492	241	190	39	12
5281	How long have you had this choking feeling?	1.2614	0.03492	241	190	39	12
5282	I think the tightness in your throat is a reaction you're having to the boa constrictor.	1.2614	0.03392	241	188	43	10
5283	You’re lucky. That’s a rare boa dilator.	1.2614	0.03329	264	208	43	13
5284	I've heard of a snake in the grass but really, a snake in the ass?	1.2613	0.03691	222	176	34	12
5285	I'll need to see your snake is what a lot of urologists say.	1.2613	0.03579	222	174	38	10
5286	I'm going to give you something to relieve the constriction.	1.2613	0.03522	222	173	40	9
5287	I’m sure a few more tests will get to the bottom of this pressure you’re feeling.	1.2613	0.03463	222	172	42	8
5288	It's a prescription for muscle relaxants. You should feel significant relief in one to two hours.	1.2612	0.03254	245	189	48	8
5289	A feeling of tightness in your chest doesn't always mean heart disease, so you can go about your normal daily activities.	1.2612	0.03453	245	193	40	12
5290	It says right there: "Flotation device: ages 7 to12."	1.2612	0.03453	245	193	40	12
5291	Our tests indicate your air passages are constricted.	1.2612	0.03305	245	190	46	9
5292	How long have you had this tight feeling in your chest?	1.2612	0.03501	245	194	38	13
5293	I’m gonna go ahead and run some labs.	1.2612	0.03305	245	190	46	9
5294	We expect full payment before you're consumed whole.	1.2612	0.03549	245	195	36	14
5295	Sir, I think that when you say you have the snake "wrapped around your little finger," you may be misreading the situation.	1.2612	0.03253	268	210	46	12
5296	Well, I'll be. Lab reports you have worm.	1.2612	0.03210	268	209	48	11
5297	Have you been having any difficulty sleeping?	1.2610	0.03319	249	194	45	10
5298	Well, Mr. Thurgood, your tests are looking pretty good, however that tightness in your chest you have been experiencing recently may be related to those long "fitness walks" in the Everglades.	1.2610	0.03066	249	189	55	5
5299	For most people, wearing a boa means pink feathers.	1.2610	0.03462	249	197	39	13
5300	Any aching muscles or throat constriction?	1.2610	0.03319	249	194	45	10
5301	A therapy python isn't exactly what I had in mind.	1.2609	0.03328	230	177	46	7
5302	I doubt that your crushing chest pain is a heart attack".	1.2609	0.03063	276	213	54	9
5303	It can be very expensive to determine what is causing the tightness in your chest.	1.2609	0.03706	230	184	32	14
5304	Mmm-so your major symptoms is a "constricting feeling when you take a deep breathe." Well I think we can skip the chest x-ray	1.2609	0.03379	253	199	42	12
5305	And when was the last time you watched Monty Python?	1.2609	0.03236	253	196	48	9
5306	You'll do just about anything to get that handicap parking permit.	1.2609	0.03441	230	179	42	9
5307	The tests came back positive - he just wants a hug.	1.2609	0.03379	253	199	42	12
5308	Any problems with your appetite?	1.2609	0.03188	253	195	50	8
5309	Yeah, we see a lot this time of year.	1.2609	0.03285	253	197	46	10
5310	It says here that you ordered the "feather boa" but this arrived in the mail instead...	1.2607	0.03279	280	222	43	15
5311	Most people don’t know this but it’s actually pronounced boner constrictor.	1.2607	0.03520	257	206	35	16
5312	For a few more weeks, let's keep you on the restricted diet.	1.2607	0.03204	257	199	49	9
5313	I’d say there’s a frog in your throat, but it’s a bit more drastic then that	1.2607	0.03343	257	202	43	12
5314	Frankly Mr Smith we don't see many cases of this.	1.2607	0.03348	234	181	45	8
5315	We'll keep running laboratory tests until we find the explanation for your complaints of a choking feeling and crushing chest pain.	1.2607	0.03711	234	188	31	15
5316	When nurse Gomez told you to take off your clothes ... she also meant your spirit animal.	1.2607	0.03348	234	181	45	8
5317	As your veterinarian, I don’t like your high-millenial diet.”	1.2607	0.03760	234	189	29	16
5318	Well it looks like you’ve lost about three pounds this week. You’re doing very well on this new diet. Besides the airplane issue any other side effects?	1.2606	0.03169	284	223	48	13
5319	So, how long have you been a Goop subscriber?	1.2605	0.03440	261	208	38	15
5320	It's not cancerous, but that doesn't mean it's not benign.	1.2605	0.03468	238	187	40	11
5321	Unfortunately, this is not covered under your health insurance plan...	1.2605	0.03468	238	187	40	11
5322	Be more selective for your next costume party.	1.2605	0.03618	238	190	34	14
5323	Worst case scenario is that he turns around and bites you.	1.2605	0.03771	215	171	32	12
5324	I see your problem Mr. Snake, your eyes are just bigger than your belly.	1.2604	0.03318	265	209	43	13
5325	And when did you first start feeling this constriction?	1.2604	0.03141	265	205	51	9
5326	They told you to learn Python and now it's consuming you?	1.2603	0.03528	242	192	37	13
5327	We can be as aggressive as possible. I see your insurance covers coexisting conditions.	1.2603	0.03328	242	188	45	9
5328	No really. Snake oil is an actual remedy.	1.2603	0.03576	242	193	35	14
5329	We'll give it four weeks: If you don't lose 20 pounds then we can consider bariatric surgery	1.2603	0.03276	242	187	47	8
5330	... and do you have any family history of being crushed by a snake?	1.2602	0.03582	246	197	34	15
5331	The test results show that you are in a bind.	1.2602	0.03392	246	193	42	11
5332	Right now there's a lot of this going around.	1.2602	0.03293	246	191	46	9
5333	Even for a veterinarian, you're too wrapped up in your work.	1.2601	0.03890	223	181	26	16
5334	So, have you been experiencing any tightness in you chest recently?	1.2601	0.03450	223	173	42	8
5335	Let’s try an inhaler.	1.2601	0.03785	223	179	30	14
5336	...And the next time you’re in the Amazon rain forest, don’t ask the locals about pet adoption...	1.2601	0.03453	273	220	35	18
5337	From now on, try wearing less constrictive clothing	1.2600	0.03209	250	193	49	8
5338	So tell me. Where do you feel the constriction?	1.2600	0.03403	250	197	41	12
5339	Your blood pressure is a bit high so I recommend a smaller viper.	1.2599	0.03467	227	177	41	9
5340	The good news is the tightness you feel in your chest is not a cardiopulmonary event...	1.2599	0.03685	227	181	33	13
5341	Well, you do have high blood pressure, but I am a cardiologist. What you need is a herpetologist.	1.2598	0.03413	254	201	40	13
5342	Please keep your feet tucked in when the mountain lion gets here to distract your snake.	1.2598	0.03273	254	198	46	10
5343	I would like for you to lose that 10 pounds around your middle, then see me in six months.	1.2598	0.03413	254	201	40	13
5344	If you want to dance at The Velvet Spike, get one with feathers.	1.2597	0.03482	231	181	40	10
5345	So, the nurse says your bowels have been a bit constricted lately?...	1.2597	0.03641	231	184	34	13
5346	I see you’re allergic to peanuts.	1.2597	0.03536	231	182	38	11
5347	If this doesn't work after three days, we'll try Spanx.	1.2597	0.03588	231	183	36	12
5348	Have you tried a laxative?	1.2597	0.03743	231	186	30	15
5349	OK, but airlines will still require you to fasten your seat belt.	1.2597	0.03482	231	181	40	10
5350	I'm sorry Mr Johnson, your insurance only covers squeezing sensations, not crushing sensations.	1.2597	0.03286	258	202	45	11
5351	Squeezing chest pain? I need to refer you to the cardiologist.	1.2596	0.03547	235	186	37	12
5352	Having a little difficulty breathing, are we?	1.2596	0.03495	235	185	39	11
5353	You didn't want single-payer healthcare to tread on your taxes, so your insurance company is squeezing you instead.	1.2596	0.03597	235	187	35	13
5354	It all started when I swallowed a fly.	1.2596	0.03442	235	184	41	10
5355	You came all the way to Canada from where?	1.2596	0.03335	235	182	45	8
5356	That's a wrap.	1.2596	0.03335	235	182	45	8
5357	First of all, repeat whatever you did when you took off that shirt.	1.2595	0.03470	262	210	36	16
5358	Now when did you start feeling this tightening feeling?	1.2595	0.03253	262	205	46	11
5359	I'm going to prescribe something to slough off this mortal coil.	1.2595	0.03162	262	203	50	9
5360	Take two wombats and call me in the morning	1.2594	0.03455	239	188	40	11
5361	Cut down on the apples.	1.2594	0.03352	239	186	44	9
5362	Have you ever had any feelings of: __chest tightness?__suffocation?__neck pain?	1.2594	0.03220	266	208	47	11
5363	This is exactly why I warned you about snake-coil remedies.	1.2593	0.03367	243	190	43	10
5364	Unfortunately, Mr. Smith, your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic snake removal.	1.2593	0.03697	216	171	34	11
5365	I understand you can't wrap your head around this either.	1.2593	0.03104	243	185	53	5
5366	And how much does your friend weigh?	1.2593	0.03467	243	192	39	12
5367	We could removed it, but it will just grow back.	1.2591	0.03428	247	195	40	12
5368	You're wound too tight!	1.2591	0.03331	247	193	44	10
5369	"It worries me that you seem to have gained a few pounds."	1.2591	0.03281	247	192	46	9
5370	There’s been some of that going around.	1.2590	0.03290	278	221	42	15
5371	Any allergies to medications?	1.2590	0.03290	278	221	42	15
5372	A muscle relaxant prescription should help you get rid of this person.	1.2590	0.03344	251	197	43	11
5373	Your chart says you're due for your prostate exam, but your snake has already taken of that.	1.2590	0.03748	251	206	25	20
5374	So, we've got increasing constriction of the torso. Anything else?	1.2590	0.03198	251	194	49	8
5375	How soon after you refused a bite of Ms. Eve's apple did this happen?	1.2590	0.03344	251	197	43	11
5376	Might I suggest a veterinarian?"	1.2589	0.03436	224	174	42	8
5377	Im prescribing a very gentle conditioner for rough, scaly areas.	1.2589	0.03377	224	173	44	7
5378	I'm afraid I cannot examine your if you're half snaked.	1.2588	0.03401	255	202	40	13
5379	No eating apples and stay away from gardens	1.2588	0.03401	255	202	40	13
5380	So you say your arms aren't moving when you try to hug him back?	1.2588	0.03214	255	198	48	9
5381	Shortness of breath... high blood pressure... I’ll prescribe a statin and order some unnecessary tests!	1.2588	0.03166	255	197	50	8
5382	Symptom "tightness around chest and stomach" when did this all begin?	1.2588	0.03618	228	181	35	12
5383	Yes I have seen the studies on anxiety and swaddling, but I believe they were with blankets..	1.2586	0.03522	232	183	38	11
5384	You say he loves you but you need for him to loosen up.	1.2586	0.03522	232	183	38	11
5385	After the stress test you will have one minute to run	1.2586	0.03627	232	185	34	13
5386	Most people prefer them over our standard patient gowns	1.2586	0.03416	263	210	38	15
5387	I'm prescribing 25 mg. of charm tablets taken daily with woodwind accompaniment.	1.2586	0.03242	263	206	46	11
5388	And how long have you worn the choker?	1.2585	0.03482	236	186	39	11
5389	The good news is, your blood pressure’s down.	1.2585	0.03377	236	184	43	9
5390	Here's permission to take your Boa on the plane, but you'll still need to wear a seat belt.	1.2585	0.03634	236	189	33	14
5391	Hmm, bit of tightness in the chest you say?	1.2585	0.03323	236	183	45	8
5392	So, when you agreed to this, you thought your wife meant a feather boa?	1.2585	0.03634	236	189	33	14
5393	At least you won’t feel so squeezed by my bill.	1.2585	0.03634	236	189	33	14
5394	Ever think about a simple feather boa?	1.2585	0.03634	236	189	33	14
5395	And you really think you’re a Gryffindor?	1.2585	0.03584	236	188	35	13
5396	You both could shed a few pounds.	1.2585	0.03430	236	185	41	10
5397	- Well, maybe no more jungle fever perfume.	1.2584	0.03654	209	164	36	9
5398	Focusing on the scales is not the way to lose that holiday weight.	1.2583	0.03543	240	191	36	13
5399	Bank of America has upped its penalties.	1.2583	0.03443	240	189	40	11
5400	It's not a heart attack per se, but your valves are pretty constricted.	1.2583	0.03493	240	190	38	12
5401	Normally I would advise against a less constrictive diet.	1.2583	0.03543	240	191	36	13
5402	So you say it feels like a snake is wrapped around you?	1.2583	0.03493	240	190	38	12
5403	I’ll order some tests - don’t worry, we’ll get to the bottom of that high blood pressure.	1.2583	0.03493	240	190	38	12
5404	I'm sorry I have to ask this, but did the snake eat your clothes?	1.2583	0.03543	240	191	36	13
5405	Before we treat you- have you recently traveled to any countries in South America or Africa?	1.2582	0.03729	213	169	33	11
5406	There’s acupressure and then there’s ACUPRESSURE, Mr. Gibson.	1.2582	0.03147	244	187	51	6
5407	We determined she loves you & won't squeeze you to death so you have nothing to worry about.	1.2582	0.03304	244	190	45	9
5408	It could be because you are transitioning from Adam to Eve	1.2582	0.03405	244	192	41	11
5409	Sorry, you're only covered for venomous reptiles.	1.2582	0.03253	244	189	47	8
5410	Yes,but the symbol for medicine has two snakes. I have no idea what to do about one.	1.2581	0.03416	248	196	40	12
5411	Im scheduling you for a Coilastophy immediately!	1.2581	0.03270	248	193	46	9
5412	Pressure in the neck area? You might be wearing your boa a bit too tight	1.2581	0.03510	248	198	36	14
5413	Okay, Adam. I guess an apple a day didn't work.	1.2581	0.03464	248	197	38	13
5414	How long have you felt "constricted"?	1.2581	0.03464	248	197	38	13
5415	This isn’t a garden variety illness. It might rattle you.	1.2579	0.03236	252	196	47	9
5416	You said I have the chicken pox?! There must be a missed snake.	1.2579	0.03284	252	197	45	10
5417	We believe it's compression sickness, but we'll need bloodwork to confirm	1.2579	0.03580	221	174	37	10
5418	Well, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your lungs...we'll have to do some more tests."	1.2578	0.03251	256	200	46	10
5419	You’re too tense! You must learn to unwind after you capture your prey.	1.2578	0.03434	256	204	38	14
5420	I am writing you a prescription for sssssssssoloft.	1.2578	0.03344	256	202	42	12
5421	The results of your stress test are inconclusive.	1.2578	0.03251	256	200	46	10
5422	So you climbed the ladder, then what happened?	1.2578	0.03298	256	201	44	11
5423	Somehow I don't think that is how the Cleopatra diet works.	1.2578	0.03647	225	179	34	12
5424	why not a cat?	1.2578	0.03364	225	174	44	7
5425	When did you first notice there was no way out?	1.2578	0.03480	225	176	40	9
5426	By the way, the boa is very becoming.	1.2578	0.03755	225	181	30	14
5427	There is a high possibility that you will die.	1.2577	0.03218	260	203	47	10
5428	Actually, your blood pressure is normal.	1.2576	0.03656	229	183	33	13
5429	We'll have to contact your insurance company to get a pre-cert to have that Boa surgically removed. We'll get back to you in a day or two.	1.2576	0.03440	229	179	41	9
5430	So...your shortness of breathe started in the Garden of Eden?	1.2576	0.03550	229	181	37	11
5431	You'll have to get a different comfort animal and come back. But here's a prescription for high blood pressure.	1.2576	0.03656	229	183	33	13
5432	Your healthcare provider covers birds of prey attacks, not snakes. Was this a preexisting condition?	1.2576	0.03186	264	206	48	10
5433	Yes, chest constrictions are one of the side effects of Boa-tox. Let’s try Croc-bitus instead.	1.2576	0.03231	264	207	46	11
5434	Let me know if your breath feels constricted in the next few weeks.	1.2576	0.03275	264	208	44	12
5435	We'll start with some muscle relaxants.	1.2575	0.03347	233	181	44	8
5436	The good news is you can float.	1.2575	0.03291	233	180	46	7
5437	No, I don't think he'll work as a flotation device.	1.2575	0.03714	233	188	30	15
5438	I'm sorry, you'll have to pay up front if things are a little tight.	1.2575	0.03561	233	185	36	12
5439	Who's been charming who?"	1.2575	0.03411	268	215	37	16
5440	If you don't have a bowel movement within 12 hours, schedule another appointment so we can discuss other options.	1.2575	0.03411	268	215	37	16
5441	I'm referring you to a witch doctor.	1.2575	0.03111	268	208	51	9
5442	Well, I guess I did suggest a cold compress.	1.2574	0.03469	237	187	39	11
5443	Since there's no ICD code for the procedure, you'll have to pay out-of-pocket for the boa removal. Sorry.	1.2574	0.03364	237	185	43	9
5444	You'd be surprised how many patients still prefer the stethoscope.	1.2574	0.03520	237	188	37	12
5445	Other than a constricted airway, do you have any other ailments?	1.2574	0.03520	237	188	37	12
5446	If you want to be held and squeezed, please try the internet instead of the pet store the next time.	1.2574	0.03311	237	184	45	8
5447	The tightness in your chest could be bronchitis or pneumonia. We'll run some tests.	1.2574	0.03364	237	185	43	9
5448	It might make you feel thinner, but you are still overweight.	1.2573	0.03555	206	160	39	7
5449	So when did your shortness of breath issues first start?	1.2573	0.03686	206	162	35	9
5450	Do you have a family history of diabetes or high cholesterol?	1.2573	0.03812	206	164	31	11
5451	And how long were you in Florida?	1.2573	0.03379	241	189	42	10
5452	A dog’s not a bad pet	1.2573	0.03480	241	191	38	12
5453	We're going to the vet next.	1.2573	0.03379	241	189	42	10
5454	Asp-IRIN. I said take Asp-IRIN.	1.2573	0.03275	241	187	46	8
5455	Do you have a Living Will?	1.2573	0.03430	241	190	40	11
5456	You say your breathing feels constricted, right?	1.2571	0.03241	245	190	47	8
5457	Now explain to me one more time how this happened.	1.2571	0.03392	245	193	41	11
5458	Honestly? I've heard of worse diet plans.	1.2571	0.03584	245	197	33	15
5459	Take two aspirin and in the morning call the vet.	1.2570	0.03404	249	197	40	12
5460	Before we get started, let's double check the blood pressure the admissions nurse recorded. It seems a bit high.	1.2570	0.03307	249	195	44	10
5461	I recommend an apple a day.	1.2570	0.03544	249	200	34	15
5462	So, I'm a litte confused...which one of you is the service animal?	1.2570	0.03589	249	201	32	16
5463	Was it something ate you?	1.2570	0.03258	249	194	46	9
5464	I'm prescribing you a topical ointment, that should help you with your dry and scaly skin."	1.2570	0.03532	214	167	39	8
5465	I can tell you it’s not Cancer or AIDs.	1.2570	0.03654	214	169	35	10
5466	I told you you might feel a little pressure.	1.2569	0.03225	253	197	47	9
5467	Now turn your head and cough.	1.2569	0.03273	253	198	45	10
5468	When did you start feeling under insurmountable pressure?	1.2569	0.03321	253	199	43	11
5469	No, that's not what a herpetologist does.	1.2569	0.03504	253	203	35	15
5470	Make friends with the snake or you've got about eight minutes to live.	1.2569	0.03368	253	200	41	12
5471	.....and has it helped your sore throat?	1.2569	0.03414	253	201	39	13
5472	It seems you have a parasite.	1.2569	0.03414	253	201	39	13
5473	This new compression garment should do the trick. Just be sure and give it the occasional mouse, or the side effects could prove fatal.	1.2569	0.03273	253	198	45	10
5474	I'm sorry, but your insurance does not include a pythonectomy.	1.2569	0.03368	253	200	41	12
5475	All the tests came back negative, so we're ruling out a heart attack as the cause of that pressure you're feeling in your chest.	1.2569	0.03490	218	170	40	8
5476	You should probably quit smoking, it’s not good for you	1.2568	0.03332	257	203	42	12
5477	A little snake oil will get you back on your feet.	1.2568	0.03240	257	201	46	10
5478	I can't say we've had a LOT of success with this diet.....	1.2568	0.03565	222	175	37	10
5479	Yeah, I think it's too late.	1.2568	0.03508	222	174	39	9
5480	Were you claustrophobic before your trip to the Amazon?	1.2566	0.03292	226	174	46	6
5481	I'll prescribe a muscle relaxant. Your hands and arms should release within two days and you'll be good to go.	1.2566	0.03292	226	174	46	6
5482	Jewish mother? Me, too. 'Never leave home without a wrap.'	1.2566	0.03578	226	179	36	11
5483	Lab results are in.Your ex wife was right, men are snakes.	1.2566	0.03523	226	178	38	10
5484	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant --for Slithers, and a generic cat replacement for You	1.2566	0.03351	265	211	40	14
5485	Okay, so the lap-band surgery was safer and wasn't that expensive, and there's no way to really tell if you've lost any weight.	1.2565	0.03590	230	183	35	12
5486	We'll need to do some tests to rule out COPD.	1.2565	0.03482	230	181	39	10
5487	This might explain the blood pressure, but you should have felt this coming on.	1.2565	0.03590	230	183	35	12
5488	So you say you've been feeling a little pressure in your chest and breathing is difficult?	1.2565	0.03642	230	184	33	13
5489	You know, there are other ways to cut out carbs	1.2565	0.03536	230	182	37	11
5490	I'm prescribing an audition with with Cirque du Soliell ."	1.2565	0.03482	230	181	39	10
5491	It's just stress.	1.2565	0.03232	269	212	45	12
5492	Have your wife keep feeding it twice a day.	1.2564	0.03222	234	180	48	6
5493	So tell me about this tight feeling.	1.2564	0.03443	234	184	40	10
5494	I'm going to order some lab tests to see if we can get to the bottom of what's causing your breathing problem.	1.2564	0.03495	234	185	38	11
5495	I'd say you are too wrapped up in your work, but...	1.2564	0.03599	234	187	34	13
5496	Come back in a week if your rat problem persists.	1.2564	0.03389	234	183	42	9
5497	Obviously an eating disorder...	1.2564	0.03334	234	182	44	8
5498	She's just affectionate. Show some heart!	1.2564	0.03222	234	180	48	6
5499	Constriction is more of a mental health issue.	1.2564	0.03334	234	182	44	8
5500	We're going to get you down to X-ray...	1.2564	0.03389	234	183	42	9
5501	I know this diagnosis is ubiquitous, but you really do seem to have a constriction of the bowels.	1.2563	0.03298	238	185	45	8
5502	You thought you were buying a scarf?	1.2563	0.03456	238	188	39	11
5503	Naked and afraid, or have you been draining the swamp once too often?	1.2563	0.03352	238	186	43	9
5504	We can't help you, but I am sending you to a veterinary clinic that might suggest a better diet for him.	1.2563	0.03890	238	197	21	20
5505	Neither of you will be able to lead normal lives until you both get over this unnatural attachment to each other.	1.2563	0.03456	238	188	39	11
5506	My advice is to stop playing around in the grass.	1.2563	0.03507	238	189	37	12
5507	We recommend that you contact a veterinarian at your earliest convenience.	1.2563	0.03298	238	185	45	8
5508	Have you considered SPANX?	1.2562	0.03467	242	192	38	12
5509	Unfortunately, your policy doesn’t cover snake charming.	1.2562	0.03417	242	191	40	11
5510	So mister Bluth what brings you in today?	1.2562	0.03417	242	191	40	11
5511	On the bright side it seems your blood pressure has stabilized.	1.2562	0.03157	242	186	50	6
5512	Please fill out your insurance info and sign here...	1.2562	0.03467	242	192	38	12
5513	DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLERGIES?	1.2561	0.03340	285	230	37	18
5514	Some fiber might loosen it up a bit; alternatively I'd suggest a long walk through the dog park.	1.2561	0.03281	246	192	45	9
5515	It's not FDA-approved but let's try it.	1.2561	0.03429	246	195	39	12
5516	I see that I am no longer your main squeeze.	1.2560	0.03621	250	203	30	17
5517	You’ve improved your diet and exercise and still your your blood pressure is too high	1.2560	0.03439	250	199	38	13
5518	The good news: I'm not as concerned about that tightening in the chest you called in about...	1.2560	0.03344	250	197	42	11
5519	There are better ways to feel loved, Mr. Thornton.	1.2559	0.03356	254	201	41	12
5520	He does the overdue payment therapy.	1.2557	0.03594	219	173	36	10
5521	So it says here you're experiencing tight bands of pressure across your chest.	1.2556	0.03192	223	170	49	4
5522	I regret to inform you that, because you've been wearing the snake since before the inception date of your insurance, the Company has declined coverage for the Reptile Intervention Procedure (R.I.P.).	1.2556	0.03608	223	177	35	11
5523	I'm going to write you a prescription for one less snake.	1.2556	0.03608	223	177	35	11
5524	If you don't lose weight with this program, we'll have to resort to drastic measures.	1.2556	0.03376	223	173	43	7
5525	Mr. Jones, I can find nothing wrong with you but I am going to suggest you see a therapist to help you with the pressure you've been experiencing lately.	1.2556	0.03718	223	179	31	13
5526	I recommend you cross the equator and jump out when your friend reverses his spiral.	1.2556	0.03264	270	214	43	13
5527	So what is your family hisssstory?	1.2556	0.03046	270	209	53	8
5528	I see we've gained a few pounds...	1.2555	0.03396	227	177	42	8
5529	I'm afraid you have herpetology.	1.2555	0.03509	227	179	38	10
5530	It's warmer in here. You can remove that.	1.2555	0.03509	227	179	38	10
5531	I'm putting you on a restricted diet.	1.2555	0.03396	227	177	42	8
5532	Have you considered couple's therapy?	1.2555	0.03672	227	182	32	13
5533	What did I tell you about avoiding apples?	1.2555	0.03339	227	176	44	7
5534	How's your main squeeze?	1.2554	0.03576	231	184	35	12
5535	Wow, your blood pressure is really high.	1.2554	0.03679	231	186	31	14
5536	Tightness and a squeezing sensation in your chest and arms. Definitely a heart attack.	1.2554	0.03359	231	180	43	8
5537	Remember, I warned you that micro-dosing acid had some side effects.	1.2554	0.03679	231	186	31	14
5538	HAve you been under any kind of pressure lately?	1.2554	0.03034	278	216	53	9
5539	Here is a prescription for a muscle relaxant	1.2553	0.03322	235	183	44	8
5540	The good news is you have not been bitten.	1.2553	0.03376	235	184	42	9
5541	Here's a prescription for some deconstrictants	1.2553	0.03376	235	184	42	9
5542	Tightness of the throat due to anxiety" isn't turning out to be a complete misdiagnosis on my part, now is it	1.2553	0.03585	235	188	34	13
5543	I hope that your wait was not too long.	1.2552	0.03339	239	187	43	9
5544	It's winter. A mink would be warmer.	1.2552	0.03065	239	182	53	4
5545	I'm writing a prescription for Adderall and vodka; should do the trick.	1.2551	0.03252	243	189	46	8
5546	The pressure should let up as soon as it digests its last meal!	1.2551	0.03355	243	191	42	10
5547	Some muscle relaxer should do it.	1.2551	0.03355	243	191	42	10
5548	Try not to exhale for a bit.	1.2551	0.03355	243	191	42	10
5549	Are you under a lot of pressure in your zoo career?	1.2551	0.03552	243	195	34	14
5550	We like to call the procedure " Squeeze 'em until they pay up"	1.2551	0.03405	243	192	40	11
5551	So you're feeling a little chest pressure?	1.2551	0.03405	243	192	40	11
5552	So take 3 of these, and the human should clear right up	1.2551	0.03455	243	193	38	12
5553	Everything seems fine, except a little tightness around the chest...	1.2551	0.03304	243	190	44	9
5554	You can put your jacket back on.	1.2551	0.03552	243	195	34	14
5555	I'm going to write you a script for a snake charmer.	1.2551	0.03218	247	192	47	8
5556	So tightness of breath, trouble going to the bathroom- any skin loss?	1.2551	0.03604	247	200	31	16
5557	Sounds like restricted blood flow. Here’s an Rx for Viagra.	1.2551	0.03368	247	195	41	11
5558	I can remove the snake, but is not covered by your plan in the winter.	1.2551	0.03269	247	193	45	9
5559	I'm worried about you blood pressure. Why not try to unwind a little bit?	1.2551	0.03368	247	195	41	11
5560	Fortunately I took Python in college.	1.2550	0.03235	298	240	40	18
5561	It's the latest in full-body, simultaneous blood pressure monitoring	1.2550	0.03332	251	198	42	11
5562	You bought the wrong kind of boa.	1.2550	0.03332	251	198	42	11
5563	Now that the anesthesia has worn off, we need to have a frank discussion. I’m a veterinarian and the snake is here for help with an eating disorder.	1.2550	0.03284	251	197	44	10
5564	We'll schedule you for an X-ray.	1.2549	0.03390	255	203	39	13
5565	I distinctly said service animal to depend on, not servile dependence.	1.2548	0.03218	259	203	46	10
5566	So you're saying you feel a bit constricted lately?	1.2548	0.03123	259	201	50	8
5567	Now if you'll just remove your snake, the examination can begin.	1.2548	0.03075	259	200	52	7
5568	You can’t turn your head, so just cough.”	1.2548	0.03590	208	163	37	8
5569	Have there been any changes in appetite?	1.2548	0.03779	208	166	31	11
5570	I think it is safe to say your chest pain is not from your heart.	1.2548	0.03186	263	206	47	10
5571	All the tests came back within the normal range...	1.2548	0.03140	263	205	49	9
5572	So, tightness in the chest, wheezing, shortness of breath. The doctor will be in shortly.	1.2547	0.03546	212	166	38	8
5573	Cobra is used for payment not preventing an exam	1.2546	0.03798	216	174	29	13
5574	Let's take your temperature.	1.2546	0.03624	216	171	35	10
5575	He obviously likes you. What we need to worry about is the big squeeze.	1.2546	0.03683	216	172	33	11
5576	Aww he's an affectionate one isn't he; just look at the hug!	1.2545	0.03402	220	171	42	7
5577	Come on sir, You can’t call Donald trump a snake and not expect him to come after you	1.2545	0.03637	220	175	34	11
5578	Except for his body temperature, all reads fine. You might want to hug him more, even casually, during the cold season.	1.2545	0.03703	224	180	31	13
5579	And yes, this is one of the potential side effects of the recommended medication.	1.2545	0.03649	224	179	33	12
5580	Our colon constrictor is trained to release only after you flush.	1.2545	0.03862	224	183	25	16
5581	OK ,One more try, Deep Breath.	1.2545	0.03593	224	178	35	11
5582	Would you say it's more of an aching pain, or a burning pain?	1.2544	0.03551	228	181	36	11
5583	I normally treat bowel constrictions, but give this a whirl and see me again in 2 weeks.	1.2544	0.03496	228	180	38	10
5584	About how long have you been experiencing this chest tightness?	1.2544	0.03383	228	178	42	8
5585	You should try not to get so wrapped up in work.	1.2544	0.03551	228	181	36	11
5586	I recommend aloe vera for my patients with scaly skin.	1.2543	0.03290	232	180	45	7
5587	Don't worry-I'll help you with your shoes.	1.2543	0.03766	232	189	27	16
5588	It's psychosomatic.	1.2542	0.03469	236	187	38	11
5589	I'm afraid the gown is not optional.	1.2542	0.03310	236	184	44	8
5590	So, how are the kids?	1.2542	0.03430	240	190	39	11
5591	It's all in your head.	1.2542	0.03530	240	192	35	13
5592	I' m sorry but I can't treat you until you provide the co-pay	1.2542	0.03481	240	191	37	12
5593	So,when did you first notice your high blood pressure?	1.2541	0.03240	244	190	46	8
5594	I recommend getting a second opinion.	1.2541	0.03393	244	193	40	11
5595	well, let's see, the slugs didn't work, then we tried the leeches and they didn't work, now.....	1.2541	0.03188	244	189	48	7
5596	Sir, you seem to have ordered the wrong type of boa!	1.2541	0.03343	244	192	42	10
5597	We might be able to remove it sooner, but you'll probably have to wait until 2020.	1.2541	0.03240	244	190	46	8
5598	don’t worry, your wraparound insurance policy covers you without a deductible.	1.2541	0.03188	244	189	48	7
5599	Your tests came back normal. Are you getting enough fiber in your diet?	1.2540	0.03207	248	193	47	8
5600	So, instead of going on the "freeze your fat" diet you elected to apply the snake oil directly?	1.2540	0.03257	248	194	45	9
5601	On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you feel loved?	1.2540	0.03368	252	200	40	12
5602	It says here that you have been suffering from chest pain.	1.2540	0.03124	252	195	50	7
5603	Well, fashion choice aside, you should have been a little suspicious finding a discount boa at an Everglades tourist trap.	1.2539	0.03332	256	203	41	12
5604	Try fasting for a couple weeks.	1.2538	0.03253	260	205	44	11
5605	Surprisingly, your pressure is normal.	1.2538	0.03298	260	206	42	12
5606	Don’t worry, there’s a pill for this too.	1.2538	0.03343	260	207	40	13
5607	Ancient remedies are ancient for a reason. This'll relieve your gas and constipation jusssst fine.	1.2538	0.03343	260	207	40	13
5608	Have you noticed any trouble breathing lately?	1.2538	0.03343	260	207	40	13
5609	You're blood pressure seems to be a little high.	1.2538	0.03645	197	154	36	7
5610	It appears that your COBRA Health Care doesn't cover "Cobra for weight reduction"	1.2538	0.03437	264	213	35	16
5611	So let me recap, you've been experiencing a squeezing sensation for the last month. But what made you come today?	1.2537	0.03284	272	217	41	14
5612	So what's wrong with you?	1.2536	0.03128	276	217	48	11
5613	Despite the chest pain, it’s not a heart attack. We’ll keep running tests.	1.2536	0.03085	276	216	50	10
5614	Tests indicate you are allergic to reptiles.	1.2535	0.03593	213	168	36	9
5615	I'm sorry, we would like to help, but you are out of network.	1.2535	0.03304	284	229	38	17
5616	Sorry, your insurance dosen't cover this.	1.2535	0.03668	217	173	33	11
5617	Just slough off your things and we'll rattle through the tests.	1.2535	0.03427	217	169	41	7
5618	How long have you had the sore throat?	1.2533	0.03634	225	180	33	12
5619	And we don't have to squeeze the little pump to tighten it around your arm.	1.2533	0.03523	225	178	37	10
5620	One obvious sign should have been there's no feathers.	1.2533	0.03537	229	182	36	11
5621	I guess the 'take two aspirin and call me in the morning' routine won't work this time."	1.2533	0.03427	229	180	40	9
5622	With your co-pay that will be $30.00 for the office visit and $85.00 for rats for your snake.	1.2533	0.03370	229	179	42	8
5623	It says here you've been having trouble breathing, have you considered less constrictive clothing?	1.2533	0.03370	229	179	42	8
5624	Hmm...according to these lab results, your breathing is fairly constricted.	1.2533	0.03482	229	181	38	10
5625	Next time can we just stick with the feather boa?	1.2532	0.03548	233	186	35	12
5626	Is that one flu shot or two?	1.2532	0.03388	233	183	41	9
5627	I suggest we add feathers and try to pass it off as a fashion statement.	1.2532	0.03548	233	186	35	12
5628	Tightness in the chest is typical in this type of case.	1.2532	0.03600	233	187	33	13
5629	So you say this is your main squeeze.	1.2532	0.03442	233	184	39	10
5630	Fortunately, it is a python and not an anaconda, and it appears to have eaten recently. We'll see.	1.2532	0.03130	237	182	50	5
5631	Jungle Book? Can’t say I have read it.	1.2532	0.03351	237	186	42	9
5632	I'd say you have about 5 minutes left. Any last words?	1.2532	0.03404	237	187	40	10
5633	I'm going to prescribe you oxycodone to help with the pain."	1.2532	0.03456	237	188	38	11
5634	So, Adam, you are saying that an apple a day has caused this pre-existing condition?	1.2531	0.03418	241	191	39	11
5635	No, I would not recommend flying.	1.2531	0.03468	241	192	37	12
5636	You may have used too much snake oil.	1.2531	0.03468	241	192	37	12
5637	'Sore throat'	1.2531	0.03517	241	193	35	13
5638	Your circulation seems to be constricted.	1.2531	0.03315	241	189	43	9
5639	It appears you have a constriction in your airways.	1.2531	0.03418	241	191	39	11
5640	This is what's known as a python wart. I'll give you some drops and it might fall off in a few weeks	1.2531	0.03418	241	191	39	11
5641	Gastric bypass surgery remains the preferred method	1.2531	0.03315	241	189	43	9
5642	This is not FDA approved and it originated from a trible tradition, but it’s effective in treating constipation.	1.2531	0.03478	245	196	36	13
5643	The good news is, you're not snakebit.	1.2531	0.03176	245	190	48	7
5644	She’s also your Emergeny contact?	1.2531	0.03331	245	193	42	10
5645	Come back next week, if you can....	1.2531	0.03331	245	193	42	10
5646	When did the scales first start appearing?	1.2531	0.03229	245	191	46	8
5647	Are you feeling any pressure in your chest?	1.2530	0.03344	249	197	41	11
5648	Have you ingested any rodents in the past 24 hours?	1.2530	0.03246	249	195	45	9
5649	I can get the snake off. But I must warn you, if this happens again, a python and a shirt do not constitute an outfit.	1.2530	0.03295	249	196	43	10
5650	I’m not sue what’s constricting your airways…let’s run some tests.	1.2530	0.03448	253	203	36	14
5651	So today we have our blood pressure gauge in training.	1.2530	0.03448	253	203	36	14
5652	When did you start feeling a tightness in your throat?	1.2530	0.03309	253	200	42	11
5653	It's OK but my wife personally goes with chinchilla.	1.2530	0.03164	253	197	48	8
5654	Well, I said to put some _re_-strictions on your activity, but I guess this could work, as well.	1.2529	0.03275	257	203	43	11
5655	Well at least he's friendly.	1.2529	0.03181	257	201	47	9
5656	You should avoid fashion weeks...	1.2529	0.03242	261	206	44	11
5657	You've put on a few pounds since I last saw you.	1.2529	0.03242	261	206	44	11
5658	So what alternative therapies are you using?	1.2528	0.02978	265	204	55	6
5659	How long have you had this chest tightness?	1.2527	0.03314	273	219	39	15
5660	I'm afraid you're going to have to shuffle off this mortal coil.	1.2525	0.03912	202	163	27	12
5661	unfortunately we don’t provide couple’s therapy	1.2524	0.03623	210	166	35	9
5662	Unfortunately, for some reason your blood pressure has skyrocketed.	1.2523	0.03639	214	170	34	10
5663	Yeah, it can take up to a week to get used to the shallow breathing and full body numbness, but I can give you something for the bulging eyeballs.	1.2523	0.03454	214	167	40	7
5664	Well, the medical name is encirclification, but first let's talk about what to do.	1.2523	0.03414	218	170	41	7
5665	Sigh "Back at it again are we, Phil?"	1.2522	0.03453	226	178	39	9
5666	I know I said to keep your neck warm this winter and wear a boa, but...	1.2522	0.03565	226	180	35	11
5667	Mine's bigger.	1.2522	0.03779	226	184	27	15
5668	So I read your chat, but why don't you tell me exactly what happened?	1.2522	0.03453	226	178	39	9
5669	Now remember, this snake oil script is a topical.	1.2522	0.03242	230	178	46	6
5670	There are easier ways to lose weight.	1.2522	0.03577	230	184	34	12
5671	Please remove everything but your underwear and slip into the gown. Then I'll come back to do the exam.	1.2521	0.03321	234	183	43	8
5672	So let’s see, shortness of breath, elevated blood pressure, and increased heart rate.	1.2521	0.03339	238	187	42	9
5673	Now you say it started out quite small....	1.2521	0.03594	238	192	32	14
5674	It’s probably not covered by your insurance, but there is a type of oil that could help you.	1.2521	0.03391	238	188	40	10
5675	With the symptoms you described: shortness of breath, right arm hurts and chest pain, all lead me to thinking you are having a heart attack. These algorithms are so helpful!	1.2521	0.03285	238	186	44	8
5676	Really nothing that a more positive attitude wouldn't solve.	1.2521	0.03494	238	190	36	12
5677	Do you think these shoes are too casual?	1.2521	0.03494	238	190	36	12
5678	My suggestion is to use the feather type next time	1.2521	0.03231	238	185	46	7
5679	What snake?	1.2521	0.03455	242	193	37	12
5680	The weight loss outcomes compare very favorably with bariatric surgery	1.2521	0.03354	242	191	41	10
5681	I’m writing instructions for safer ways for you to lose weight.	1.2521	0.03455	242	193	37	12
5682	The good news is: you have thirty seconds to live. The bad news is: twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven.....	1.2521	0.03303	242	190	43	9
5683	And, you're pregnant.	1.2521	0.03405	242	192	39	11
5684	I want you to try this feather boa I'm prescribing--you should feel less constricted right away.	1.2521	0.03455	242	193	37	12
5685	This pressure you feel -- does it often seem to come on at mealtimes?	1.2521	0.03504	242	194	35	13
5686	The good news: you’ll have a friend for life.	1.2521	0.03354	242	191	41	10
5687	Can you be more specific about where you feel this tightness?	1.2520	0.03560	246	199	32	15
5688	The Guinness Book of Records people are on their way to measure your tapeworm.	1.2520	0.03417	246	196	38	12
5689	Normally, I would recommend a conventional colonoscopy, but since you prefer traditional medicine...	1.2520	0.03560	246	199	32	15
5690	So you are having restricted movement?	1.2520	0.03082	250	193	51	6
5691	I'm writing you a one-time prescription for Snake Charmer.	1.2520	0.03082	250	193	51	6
5692	Here’s a new prescription, seems the last one did nothing for your high blood pressure.	1.2520	0.03391	254	203	38	13
5693	It looked so easy when Britney Spears did it.	1.2520	0.03153	254	198	48	8
5694	I'm still going to order an enema. You're very constricted.	1.2520	0.03202	254	199	46	9
5695	I wouldn't worry Mr. Schmank... constricted breathing is perfectly normal with this sort of thing.	1.2519	0.03073	258	200	51	7
5696	Yes, a lot of it is in your head.	1.2519	0.03217	258	203	45	10
5697	Stop watching British comedies	1.2519	0.03355	258	206	39	13
5698	I’m sorry. Your HMO Will only allow two rats per week, at least until molting season.	1.2519	0.03310	258	205	41	12
5699	I don't get paid enough for this.	1.2519	0.03444	258	208	35	15
5700	What do you usually feed him?	1.2519	0.03139	262	205	48	9
5701	As a physician, over the course of my career, I've seen many reasons why people come into the office complaining of shortness of breath	1.2519	0.03243	266	211	43	12
5702	I see that you are married	1.2519	0.03124	270	212	48	10
5703	. . . and you know it's unhealthy to get too wrapped up in your work.	1.2517	0.02969	286	223	54	9
5704	...On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you say the male enhancement pills are working?	1.2512	0.03654	207	164	34	9
5705	Tests show your new pet is fine. I encourage you to continue bonding with it.	1.2512	0.03564	215	170	36	9
5706	Mr. Boa, I'm afraid that you have a serious case of humanitis.	1.2511	0.03580	219	174	35	10
5707	Doctor, "Marital staus?" Adam, "It's complicated."	1.2511	0.03650	223	179	32	12
5708	I raised him since birth and now he has separation anxiety.	1.2511	0.03480	223	176	38	9
5709	Do you get short of breath easily?	1.2511	0.03324	227	177	43	7
5710	Well I'm no wizard but I'm pretty sure the Sorting Hat would say, "Slytherin!"	1.2511	0.03496	227	180	37	10
5711	I've never used the phrase 'wardrobe malfunction' in my patient notes before.	1.2511	0.03382	227	178	41	8
5712	We think we’ve figured out what causing that crushing chest pain, and it may not be your heart.	1.2511	0.03288	231	180	44	7
5713	On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst pain and 1 being no pain, how much pain are you experiencing?	1.2511	0.03401	231	182	40	9
5714	I’m not sure if this is covered under your medical plan or his ...	1.2511	0.03455	231	183	38	10
5715	Well, that just about wraps it up for today." submitted by Susan Davidson, s.davidson@starpower.ne	1.2511	0.03509	231	184	36	11
5716	So, how to you like our new exam gowns?	1.2511	0.03455	231	183	38	10
5717	I’m not seeing anything in your blood work which which might explain the tightening feeling in your chest.	1.2511	0.03509	231	184	36	11
5718	You first saw it in your toilet?	1.2511	0.03521	235	188	35	12
5719	We'll have to wait until the tests come back, but I don't think it's malignant.	1.2511	0.03363	235	185	41	9
5720	We have no data to show this as an effective weight loss treatment.	1.2511	0.03417	235	186	39	10
5721	We can help you Mr. Jones, but please stop calling it a 'hissssterectomy.'	1.2511	0.03521	235	188	35	12
5722	The good news is no one will notice your overweight.	1.2510	0.03430	239	190	38	11
5723	You say you're having shortness of breath?	1.2510	0.03273	239	187	44	8
5724	I suggest next time you just get a pair of Spanx.	1.2510	0.03581	239	193	32	14
5725	You're all wrapped up and ready to go.	1.2510	0.03273	239	187	44	8
5726	You've got the grip.	1.2510	0.03393	243	193	39	11
5727	Next time come directly to me; not some snake oil salesman!	1.2510	0.03393	243	193	39	11
5728	You're concerned you may have contracted Dengue fever in South America, any other worries?	1.2510	0.03491	243	195	35	13
5729	Your tests came back positive. You have chest pains and you are a little short of breath.	1.2510	0.03453	247	198	36	13
5730	Any problems with shortness of breath?	1.2510	0.03307	247	195	42	10
5731	I'm not a dermatologist so I do not know when he will shed his skin.	1.2510	0.03257	247	194	44	9
5732	I'm going to revert to 'At least do no harm.'	1.2510	0.03123	251	195	49	7
5733	ohhhh,the internet says it's a snake,does it? see this stethoscope? It means I'm the doctor. So,I'll ask for the third time: will you please put on your gown?	1.2510	0.03415	251	201	37	13
5734	So, you are saying your throat feels contracted?	1.2510	0.03321	251	199	41	11
5735	A pity you don't reciprocate her feelings.	1.2510	0.03173	251	196	47	8
5736	Let's forget about the shortness of breath for a moment and talk about the itching	1.2510	0.03321	251	199	41	11
5737	Well first, I think we should do something about your blood pressure.	1.2510	0.03239	255	201	44	10
5738	Hello Tom, it's good to see you again. You always have such interesting underwear.	1.2510	0.03379	255	204	38	13
5739	No worries. A little snake oil should loosen that up.	1.2510	0.03469	255	206	34	15
5740	The results say you're gonna kill at fashion week.	1.2510	0.03206	259	204	45	10
5741	I’m going to start you with a cold blood panel.	1.2510	0.03252	259	205	43	11
5742	Your annual medicare examination is complete. You're in perfect health for a man your age.	1.2510	0.03388	259	208	37	14
5743	All your test results are normal. You just need to loosen up.	1.2510	0.03111	259	202	49	8
5744	As an endangered species, I’m just verifying, you do have a DNR on file with us. Right?	1.2510	0.03174	263	207	46	10
5745	My professional opinion is that you have a Lady Gaga Competetiveness Disorder	1.2510	0.03265	263	209	42	12
5746	You say you are experiencing a tightness in your chest?	1.2510	0.03174	263	207	46	10
5747	Yeah - two a day until it goes away. But I’m not sure whether to write mongooses or mongeese...	1.2509	0.03144	267	210	47	10
5748	I understand snake oil is not covered by your plan.	1.2509	0.03243	271	216	42	13
5749	It's a natural cough suppressant.	1.2509	0.03243	271	216	42	13
5750	The x-rays show no cause for your episodic shortness of breath.	1.2509	0.03127	275	217	47	11
5751	I see your first name is Eve. And your family name?	1.2509	0.03190	283	226	43	14
5752	The good news is that your EKG results rule out your heart as the cause of the tightness in your chest.	1.2500	0.03697	228	185	29	14
5753	I see a constriction.	1.2500	0.03393	248	198	38	12
5754	It's normal to feel all choked up at your daughter's wedding. Any other issues?	1.2500	0.03282	276	222	39	15
5755	Middle class squeeze. It’s going around.	1.2500	0.03275	256	203	42	11
5756	Adam Johnson 100 Pleasant Lane Garden of Eden Nudist Colony, NJ Occupation: Snake charmer Allergies: Apples, Brunettes named Eve, poison ivy "Says here you're having work anxieties?"	1.2500	0.03274	272	218	40	14
5757	If you're feeling smothered and she can't let go, here's the name of an in network couple's therapist.	1.2500	0.03565	220	175	35	10
5758	This is what happens when you wear a boa before Labor Day.	1.2500	0.03112	252	196	49	7
5759	Very good. Our 'Restrictor Constrictor,' Emma, has helped you lose thirty-five pounds."	1.2500	0.03190	272	216	44	12
5760	Drink plenty of water, get lots of rest and stay wrapped up.	1.2500	0.03393	248	198	38	12
5761	Let's start with a relaxant. You seem pretty tightly wound.	1.2500	0.03330	244	193	41	10
5762	The symptoms point to Psoriasis	1.2500	0.03635	224	180	32	12
5763	This is not what I meant by a diet constriction.	1.2500	0.03241	236	184	45	7
5764	In your case, it's not politics that's making it hard to breath	1.2500	0.03442	232	184	38	10
5765	Good news. Your insurance covers pre-existing conditions.	1.2500	0.03442	232	184	38	10
5766	How long have you had this shortness of breath Mr. Smith?	1.2500	0.03456	236	188	37	11
5767	I warned you at your last visit, Mr. Little, about the health risks of hiking in the Everglades.	1.2500	0.03403	252	202	37	13
5768	I’m afraid this isn’t covered by your insurance.	1.2500	0.03537	228	182	35	11
5769	You're guaranteed to lose weight without surgery.	1.2500	0.03430	244	195	37	12
5770	So you say your chest is a bit tight, right?	1.2500	0.03366	240	190	40	10
5771	Three rats a day for your pet, starting now. For you, a weighted blanket and a shrink.	1.2500	0.03287	260	207	41	12
5772	When did you decide to give him up as a pet	1.2500	0.03404	236	187	39	10
5773	Just sit tight and the doctor will be right in.	1.2500	0.03559	236	190	33	13
5774	The good news is: I think it likes you.	1.2500	0.03245	248	195	44	9
5775	Sorry sir you are not on the endangered species list.	1.2500	0.03426	216	169	40	7
5776	Your insurance will authorize physical therapy to strengthen your core. That should take care of it.	1.2500	0.03227	244	191	45	8
5777	How long have you been wearing your wife's boa?	1.2500	0.03635	224	180	32	12
5778	Yeah, I know it’s rough! You’re the third one today . Sometimes it’s really not psychosomatic	1.2500	0.03495	252	204	33	15
5779	I need to listen to your heart. Can you unwrap?	1.2500	0.03276	232	181	44	7
5780	Normally, I’d just write a prescription for snake oil, but your condition calls for stronger medicine.	1.2500	0.03549	232	186	34	12
5781	We've eliminated asthma, pneumonia, and sinusitis. I'm beginning to suspect your breathing difficulty may result from an allergy to pets.	1.2500	0.03736	220	178	29	13
5782	Fill this script for snake oil and text me in a few days if your symptom hasn’t improved.	1.2500	0.03442	232	184	38	10
5783	I see here you have Omamba Care...how has that been working out for you?	1.2500	0.03549	232	186	34	12
5784	Can you tell me what happened?	1.2500	0.03274	272	218	40	14
5785	Just looks like a sore throat.	1.2500	0.03221	268	213	43	12
5786	No problem. I'll prescribe him Valium.	1.2500	0.03295	248	196	42	10
5787	Shortness of breath, high blood pressure... I’m going to schedule you for an EKG and a stress test.	1.2500	0.03466	224	177	38	9
5788	You might feel a small pinch.	1.2500	0.03024	264	205	52	7
5789	Look at it this way. Camo is in, feathers are out. And, it's not venomous.	1.2500	0.03447	220	173	39	8
5790	I said you needed sodium restriction. Not boa constriction.	1.2500	0.03727	216	174	30	12
5791	I understand the benefits, but your blood pressure is through the roof.	1.2500	0.03174	244	190	47	7
5792	I'll need to order some tests to see what's causing this constriction.	1.2500	0.03348	224	175	42	7
5793	What seems to be the problem here, Sir?	1.2500	0.03440	248	199	36	13
5794	So, how long have you been experiencing your current symptoms?	1.2500	0.03404	236	187	39	10
5795	How many times have I told you not to get too wrapped up in your work, it's dangerous.	1.2500	0.03209	264	209	44	11
5796	In my experience the oil form is just as ineffective.	1.2500	0.03227	256	202	44	10
5797	On your mother's side, then?	1.2500	0.03508	236	189	35	12
5798	I'm afraid it's hereditary	1.2500	0.03495	252	204	33	15
5799	You know the old adage Mr. Smith, ”let pythons be pythons.” I think it's time for you to reconcile.	1.2500	0.03245	248	195	44	9
5800	You say cat had your tongue last week?	1.2491	0.03211	269	214	43	12
5801	You indicate here that you are experiencing some constriction in your chest?	1.2491	0.03167	269	213	45	11
5802	It's normal to feel some tightness in the chest when being consumed by a constrictor	1.2491	0.03330	265	213	38	14
5803	First case of yourus toastus I've seen in a while.	1.2490	0.03364	261	210	37	14
5804	You’re right. A lot of medicine is just snake oil.	1.2490	0.03090	261	204	49	8
5805	So it started as a growth on your neck?	1.2490	0.03408	261	211	35	15
5806	It’s nothing serious; a sun bath and some rat broth might make her feel better until she gets back on her stomach.	1.2490	0.03400	257	207	36	14
5807	I can assure you the tightness you feel in your chest is not your heart.	1.2490	0.03391	253	203	37	13
5808	Sorry if I wasn't clear. I never meant to say take two asps and call me in the morning.	1.2490	0.03344	253	202	39	12
5809	Have you been having any trouble swallowing, have you been feeling any tightness in the chest, any cramps in the abdomen, ...	1.2490	0.03571	253	207	29	17
5810	So, how long have you had this pressure in your chest?	1.2490	0.03201	253	199	45	9
5811	Your chest x-ray confirms severe boa-constriction of you lungs.	1.2490	0.03151	253	198	47	8
5812	Sorry I misplaced my glasses. What, exactly, did you want me to notice about that scaly rash?	1.2490	0.03297	253	201	41	11
5813	I'm going to refer you to a specialist.	1.2490	0.03344	253	202	39	12
5814	I can see why you have a bit of tightness in your chest!	1.2490	0.03297	253	201	41	11
5815	All the tests indicate that you have been under a lot of pressure lately	1.2490	0.03656	249	205	26	18
5816	How else did you think you were going to lose 50 pounds in one week?	1.2490	0.03475	249	201	34	14
5817	Very stylish scarf but you'll have to remove it.	1.2490	0.03216	245	192	45	8
5818	And just how long have you felt this shortness of breath?	1.2490	0.03417	245	196	37	12
5819	As an avid amateur herpetologist, I'm tempted to just watch...	1.2490	0.03318	245	194	41	10
5820	No, I’ve never heard of “Take Your Owner to the Vet Day”...	1.2490	0.03249	241	189	44	8
5821	The bad news is that your insurance doesn't cover this.	1.2490	0.03455	241	193	36	12
5822	Yeah, I don't see anything that would explain the chest tightness. Have you tried yoga?	1.2489	0.03443	237	189	37	11
5823	I suggest, you stay off the jungle gym for a while.	1.2489	0.03391	237	188	39	10
5824	I'm sorry - hospital gowns cost extra.	1.2489	0.03338	237	187	41	9
5825	I'm going to give you a note saying you need emotional support so you can take your snake on the plane and in restaurants. I hope I get to see what happens when it sees some nut's emotional support poodle.	1.2489	0.03495	237	190	35	12
5826	So, I see you’ve recently been to southern Florida.	1.2489	0.03375	233	184	40	9
5827	I’m going to run some tests but it looks like a classic class of compression.	1.2489	0.03535	233	187	34	12
5828	Well, your temperature is down.	1.2489	0.03263	233	182	44	7
5829	It appears that you are a little wrapped up in yourself!	1.2489	0.03630	229	185	31	13
5830	The tests came back positive. You have a boäl constriction.	1.2489	0.03335	225	176	42	7
5831	Well the strep test came back negative, so there's not much I can do for you.	1.2489	0.03452	225	178	38	9
5832	I would not call this a successful weight-loss option.	1.2489	0.03493	221	175	37	9
5833	We'll have to do more tests. That tightness in your chest is not your heart.	1.2489	0.03551	221	176	35	10
5834	You're a herpetologist? As I tell many of my patients, getting too wrapped up in your work is bad for your health.	1.2488	0.03474	217	171	38	8
5835	We'll do a battery of tests to discover what's causing the pressure in your chest.	1.2488	0.03653	217	174	32	11
5836	It appears that you have intimacy issues.	1.2482	0.03069	282	223	48	11
5837	Your blood pressure’s up just a tad. But otherwise, that about wraps things up. Kay Spencer, New York, NY	1.2481	0.03097	266	209	48	9
5838	I’m feeling a little constricted.	1.2481	0.03264	262	209	41	12
5839	It's time to talk about your co-pays.	1.2481	0.03219	262	208	43	11
5840	Normally we'd say to take two of these, but why don't we start with just one and see how you do.	1.2481	0.03205	258	204	44	10
5841	And what were you hoping to cure with the snake oil?	1.2481	0.03252	258	205	42	11
5842	It turns out that your insurance company considers only true feather boas to be a covered condition.	1.2480	0.03333	254	203	39	12
5843	We don't recommend it as a pool toy.	1.2480	0.02988	254	196	53	5
5844	The snake says you have high blood pressure. The salt in your diet is killing you slowly.	1.2480	0.03140	254	199	47	8
5845	This should help with the scaly skin.	1.2480	0.03271	250	198	42	10
5846	My notes say that you've just returned from the Amazon.	1.2480	0.03222	250	197	44	9
5847	When I prescribed massage therapy, this is not what I had in mind.	1.2480	0.03271	250	198	42	10
5848	I think one more week and we will have those love handles all but gone.	1.2480	0.03405	246	197	37	12
5849	I'm sorry, but this is not covered under your HMO.	1.2480	0.03453	246	198	35	13
5850	Your blood pressure is still too high.	1.2480	0.03501	246	199	33	14
5851	Let's forgo the exam and focus on the history. Do you have any allergies?	1.2480	0.03405	246	197	37	12
5852	We're pretty constricted here in terms of treatment options...	1.2480	0.03453	246	198	35	13
5853	If I don't say so, Sam, your generation has taken college initiations to a whole new level."	1.2480	0.03306	246	195	41	10
5854	The MRI, Colonoscopy and Cardiogram are fine. I don't see any physical reason for your symptoms	1.2479	0.03342	242	192	40	10
5855	I see, the turtlenecks were not on sale?	1.2479	0.03443	242	194	36	12
5856	Sounds like asthma.	1.2479	0.03532	238	192	33	13
5857	So for how long have you had this shortness of breath?	1.2479	0.03532	238	192	33	13
5858	Security is fine, but I suggest that you give each other a little more space.	1.2479	0.03378	238	189	39	10
5859	You’re having some tightness around your chest.	1.2479	0.03532	238	192	33	13
5860	Call me in two weeks if the symptoms don’t go away.	1.2479	0.03532	238	192	33	13
5861	How long have you had these dreams?	1.2479	0.03430	238	190	37	11
5862	Mr. Smith, you'll have to shed your clothing for this exam.	1.2479	0.03307	234	184	42	8
5863	So, what was it like seeing Samuel L. Jackson on your flight?	1.2479	0.03469	234	187	36	11
5864	Hang in there, Henry. I just need one more x-ray.	1.2479	0.03416	234	186	38	10
5865	Although your blood pressure is really high, the good news is that your cholesterol level has never been lower.	1.2479	0.03136	234	181	48	5
5866	Fred, I can't imagine why you're having sexual problems?	1.2478	0.03563	230	185	33	12
5867	I'm sorry but I only have experience in C++, not Python.	1.2478	0.03455	230	183	37	10
5868	As a vegan and animal rights activist, you can "just say no".	1.2478	0.03720	230	188	27	15
5869	The urine tests came back inconclusive	1.2478	0.03400	230	182	39	9
5870	Actually, my speciality is internal medicine. You need to consult either a dermatologist, or perhaps a herpetologist. I’m not sure!	1.2478	0.03343	230	181	41	8
5871	Her owner was here last week for the same thing.	1.2478	0.03606	226	182	32	12
5872	I’m a little concerned about your cholesterol levels.	1.2478	0.03322	226	177	42	7
5873	Compensating for something?	1.2477	0.03420	222	175	39	8
5874	You feel constricted? I've got three more patients and a tee-time at noon.	1.2477	0.03360	222	174	41	7
5875	You say that you can’t move your arms?	1.2477	0.03398	218	171	40	7
5876	Just go home and use it as a pool float.	1.2477	0.03638	218	175	32	11
5877	We will attempt to remove her without harm, but in the future I suggest you not share the same bed for emotional support.	1.2477	0.03398	218	171	40	7
5878	Have you been eaten regularly?	1.2477	0.03580	218	174	34	10
5879	Please remove your garter. The doctor will be with you shortly.	1.2477	0.03580	218	174	34	10
5880	According to your symptoms of shortness of breath and crushing chest pressure you are having a heart attack. We will be transferring you to the local ER.	1.2473	0.03219	283	228	40	15
5881	Honestly, not the first time I've seen this	1.2472	0.02994	267	208	52	7
5882	I'll ask the nurse to check your blood pressure before we go any further.	1.2471	0.03341	263	212	37	14
5883	So tell me...how long have you been having this crushing chest pain?	1.2471	0.03163	263	208	45	10
5884	Is the herpetologist in network?	1.2471	0.03253	263	210	41	12
5885	It appears you have boa constrictive heart failure.	1.2471	0.03253	263	210	41	12
5886	Many of my patients feel chest tightness but it's usually not anything serious.	1.2471	0.03147	259	204	46	9
5887	You say the pain extends from your neck to the knees. Can you be more specific?	1.2471	0.03178	255	201	45	9
5888	It looks like a second-degree boa constriction.	1.2471	0.03413	255	206	35	14
5889	You could have contracted this anywhere, humans are known to be almost everywhere	1.2471	0.03367	255	205	37	13
5890	I suggest you return that jacket as quickly as you can	1.2470	0.03356	251	201	38	12
5891	You should stop using those "snake oil" cures.	1.2470	0.03356	251	201	38	12
5892	You say your GP mentioned something about a constricted airway.	1.2470	0.03496	251	204	32	15
5893	He is our new intern, specialized in measuring blood pressure. Please, breath normally.	1.2470	0.03344	247	197	39	11
5894	I told you to use snake oil, not snake coil.	1.2470	0.03244	247	195	43	9
5895	I’m going to prescribe a moisturizer.	1.2470	0.03393	247	198	37	12
5896	It appears as though something is constricting your blood vessels.	1.2470	0.03344	247	197	39	11
5897	Something seems to be constricting your diaphragm. You might want to see a specialist.	1.2470	0.03393	247	198	37	12
5898	How long have you been experiencing constricted breathing?	1.2470	0.03244	247	195	43	9
5899	I imagine it seemed funnier before the feathers came unglued.	1.2469	0.03479	243	196	34	13
5900	I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.” Submitted for — Craig Tharp. Please advise if this needs to be submitted differently. Thanks	1.2469	0.03623	243	199	28	16
5901	I recommend that you get your asp up and get some exercise.	1.2469	0.03329	243	193	40	10
5902	Your temperature seems to be lower than normal.	1.2469	0.03226	243	191	44	8
5903	First, tell me where you got that sweater?	1.2469	0.03380	243	194	38	11
5904	The "Sorting Hat" put you in Slytherin and there you shall stay.	1.2469	0.03366	239	190	39	10
5905	Largest herpetic lesion I have ever seen.	1.2469	0.03469	239	192	35	12
5906	Herpetic problems are frequently associated with feeling under pressure.	1.2469	0.03366	239	190	39	10
5907	Does shortness of breath run in your family?	1.2469	0.03205	239	187	45	7
5908	Sorry, we ran out of casts.	1.2469	0.03313	239	189	41	9
5909	You're just lucky he's watching his cholesterol	1.2469	0.03418	239	191	37	11
5910	Well yes, I imagine you do feel a tightening in the chest.	1.2468	0.03456	235	188	36	11
5911	Have you felt shortness of breath during exercise or tightness in your chest?	1.2468	0.03442	231	184	37	10
5912	That's not exactly what's meant by a Lap Band.	1.2468	0.03442	231	184	37	10
5913	I'm going to prescribe a laxative. That should help with the periodic constrictions you're feeling.	1.2468	0.03216	231	180	45	6
5914	I'm recommending a less constrictive diet for you.	1.2468	0.03387	231	183	39	9
5915	Don’t worry about non poisonous snakes. Worry more about climate change deniers and big pharma.	1.2468	0.03496	231	185	35	11
5916	Her name is Eve	1.2467	0.03309	227	178	42	7
5917	Constriction in the mid-section is a sign of anxiety, Mr. Dobson. Are you feeling anxious?	1.2467	0.03537	227	182	34	11
5918	Non-venomous, crushed, initial enconter...W59.13. There’s an ICD 10 code for everything .	1.2467	0.03482	227	181	36	10
5919	The system's a squeeze on us all.	1.2467	0.03482	227	181	36	10
5920	I’m going to order some tests, so we can find out what’s causing these contractions.	1.2467	0.03250	227	177	44	6
5921	The hospital and myself would like to thank you for testing our new blood pressure monitoring system .	1.2466	0.03681	219	177	30	12
5922	So I heard you've been having been having digestive problems?	1.2463	0.03048	272	214	49	9
5923	Other than feeling a bit squeezed, how's your general health?	1.2463	0.03122	268	212	46	10
5924	Sounds like COPD	1.2463	0.03296	268	216	38	14
5925	Medicare For All will cover for the python, but regarding your foot fungus problem you are on your own.	1.2462	0.03089	260	204	48	8
5926	It's like Rolfing.	1.2462	0.03183	260	206	44	10
5927	Not to worry, it's just your reptilian complex."	1.2461	0.03309	256	205	39	12
5928	If you could show me exactly where it hurts that would help	1.2461	0.03168	256	202	45	9
5929	Prescribing snake oil is frowned upon in this business.	1.2460	0.03297	252	201	40	11
5930	A nudist colony you say...and a garden...and an I Pad?	1.2460	0.03438	252	204	34	14
5931	I think it's just the pressures of modern day society......	1.2460	0.03150	252	198	46	8
5932	Yes, I have seen this before. It is the Eve syndrome; just don't eat any apples for a while"	1.2460	0.03297	252	201	40	11
5933	I'm concerned about your unexplained weight loss.	1.2460	0.03248	252	200	42	10
5934	Not "Argh." Say "Ahh."	1.2460	0.03332	248	198	39	11
5935	There’ll be a co-pay.	1.2460	0.03428	248	200	35	13
5936	Does Any one in your family have the same problem	1.2460	0.03332	248	198	39	11
5937	So...you say this has been going on for thousands of years, ever since your wife gave you a bite of an apple in a garden?	1.2460	0.03380	248	199	37	12
5938	I realize you are very attached to your owner, but sometimes when you love someone you have to set them free.	1.2460	0.03181	248	195	45	8
5939	The nurse said you were having breathing problems but I’m a veterinarian. What do you think I...can...oh.	1.2459	0.03562	244	199	30	15
5940	Take a deep breath and hold it.	1.2459	0.03368	244	195	38	11
5941	Would you say the pressure is like an elephant sitting on your chest?	1.2459	0.03466	244	197	34	13
5942	Have you tried Tums?	1.2459	0.03266	244	193	42	9
5943	When the constrictions start coming 3 minutes apart, that's we can perform the surgery to remove the boa.	1.2458	0.03248	240	189	43	8
5944	Your bloodwork came back negative, so it seems that your shortness of breath must be psychosomatic.	1.2458	0.03405	240	192	37	11
5945	You're in good shape apart from your heart rate, which looks a bit elevated for some reason ...	1.2458	0.03301	240	190	41	9
5946	This new therapy may not be covered by your insurance	1.2458	0.03405	240	192	37	11
5947	Are you allergic to anything besides reptiles?	1.2458	0.03301	240	190	41	9
5948	Give him two Quaaludes and call me in the morning.	1.2458	0.03405	240	192	37	11
5949	I assure you, that tightening in your chest is NOT a heart attack.	1.2458	0.03113	236	183	48	5
5950	Has your blood pressure always run a bit high?	1.2458	0.03390	236	188	38	10
5951	This is the new and very fashionable Boa diet.	1.2458	0.03443	236	189	36	11
5952	You're cholesterol's a touch high, but nothing to be concerned about.	1.2458	0.03170	236	184	46	6
5953	Call me in a couple of days if it doesn't get better.	1.2458	0.03282	236	186	42	8
5954	Okay, open your mouth and cough for me.	1.2458	0.03282	236	186	42	8
5955	So I see we're here for a routine colonoscopy.	1.2458	0.03390	236	188	38	10
5956	I told you I am here about the toe fungus.	1.2458	0.03390	236	188	38	10
5957	So, the music wasn't completely effective.	1.2457	0.02986	293	232	50	11
5958	I still can't believe Samual Jackson slept through the entire flight.	1.2457	0.03588	232	188	31	13
5959	Does this run in your family?	1.2457	0.03318	232	183	41	8
5960	This is the worst case I've seen of 'ring around the collar.'	1.2457	0.03429	232	185	37	10
5961	Muscle relaxant. Sending you to the vet.	1.2457	0.03429	232	185	37	10
5962	SPF 50 on the legs and face and you'll be totally protected.	1.2456	0.03523	228	183	34	11
5963	...and any other serious allergies?	1.2456	0.03468	228	182	36	10
5964	Yes, he does seem to be attached to you and I can see the attraction. But I must warn you, it could be hazardous to your health.	1.2456	0.03523	228	183	34	11
5965	You've gained weight.	1.2456	0.03468	228	182	36	10
5966	Remember, your health care plan will only cover the antivenom if your case is deemed medically necessary.	1.2455	0.03451	224	178	37	9
5967	It seems as if you've shuffled ON this mortal coil.	1.2455	0.03509	224	179	35	10
5968	Learn Python.	1.2455	0.03989	224	188	17	19
5969	No, I've never been to the Amazon. Why do you ask?	1.2454	0.03083	273	216	47	10
5970	There's no danger unless you provoke her.	1.2454	0.03410	216	170	39	7
5971	Your calcium score was zero, so we'll need to perform a few more tests to get to the cause of your chest pressure.	1.2452	0.03219	261	208	42	11
5972	You seem to be quite wrapped up in your work.	1.2452	0.03219	261	208	42	11
5973	Now listen carefully. You need to do what I tell you for a change. Do NOT take a deep breath.	1.2452	0.03030	261	204	50	7
5974	My remote says your blood pressure is 230 0ver 90	1.2451	0.03204	257	204	43	10
5975	The fruit of knowledge has been known to cause digestive problems.	1.2451	0.03251	257	205	41	11
5976	Are you in a committed relationship?	1.2451	0.03344	257	207	37	13
5977	Turn your head and cough.	1.2451	0.03251	257	205	41	11
5978	Now I will take your blood pressure. You may feel some pressure with the cuff.	1.2451	0.03037	253	197	50	6
5979	He was looking for Eve and got turned around.	1.2451	0.03237	253	201	42	10
5980	Everything looks good. I'm just recommending some feathers for your boa."	1.2451	0.03379	253	204	36	13
5981	A Sore throat you say?	1.2450	0.03221	249	197	43	9
5982	... so after running a full battery of tests, I finally have your results here, and it would appear that the diagnosis is: pythons don't make for good service animals.	1.2450	0.03368	249	200	37	12
5983	I’ ll prescibe some meds for anxiety and depression. You should feel the tightness in your chest loosen.	1.2450	0.03271	249	198	41	10
5984	He's my emotional constraint animal.	1.2448	0.03443	241	194	35	12
5985	Your pain, is it more internal or external, and on scale of 1 to......	1.2448	0.03341	241	192	39	10
5986	Your designer compression stockings appear to be riding up.	1.2448	0.03590	241	197	29	15
5987	And which part feels constricted...?	1.2448	0.03493	241	195	33	13
5988	Test results indicate your breathing issues are related to an unusual constriction in you throat area.	1.2448	0.03443	241	194	35	12
5989	Hold still--this may pinch a bit.	1.2447	0.03102	237	184	48	5
5990	Well we got a lot of feedback that the traditional gowns were too revealing.	1.2447	0.03215	237	186	44	7
5991	Boas are so twenties.	1.2446	0.03626	233	190	29	14
5992	The chart notes say you're having problems with high blood pressure. How long has this been a problem?	1.2446	0.03676	233	191	27	15
5993	The guy at the pet store said he was starved for attention...	1.2446	0.03415	233	186	37	10
5994	It’s flu season, so that explains the difficulty breathing.	1.2446	0.03128	278	222	44	12
5995	Would you describe your mouse eating as moderate	1.2445	0.03284	229	180	42	7
5996	No, it wouldn’t work differently in Australia.	1.2445	0.03342	229	181	40	8
5997	Do I have this right -- your breathing feels constricted?	1.2445	0.03509	229	184	34	11
5998	I think a simple boa-dilator should clear this right up.	1.2444	0.03495	225	180	35	10
5999	Well, Monty, we’ve diagnosed the tightness in your chest.	1.2444	0.03438	225	179	37	9
6000	No, shuffling off this mortal coil is not going to work. Try jumping, instead.	1.2443	0.03922	221	184	20	17
6001	Everyone needs a hug once in awhile.	1.2443	0.03357	221	174	40	7
6002	I don't care what Google said - that's not going to help you get rid of your turkey neck.	1.2443	0.03115	262	207	46	9
6003	And your problem is.....	1.2443	0.03208	262	209	42	11
6004	We can apply medical leeches to help with that pooling blood collecting in your legs.	1.2442	0.03639	217	175	31	11
6005	I'm thinking we should switch to the Paleo diet, it's less restrictive.	1.2442	0.03333	217	170	41	6
6006	A comfort animal is suppose make you feel better, not to feel more comfortable.	1.2442	0.03286	258	207	39	12
6007	Take a deep breath and let’s start again.	1.2442	0.03146	258	204	45	9
6008	You’re wrapped tight and need to unwind.	1.2441	0.03078	254	199	48	7
6009	“So, tightness of chest? Any clues as to cause?”	1.2441	0.03177	254	201	44	9
6010	That feeling of your breathing being constricted Mr. Jones is due to a giant Boa snake that has wrapped itself around your body. I hope this helps you some.	1.2441	0.03226	254	202	42	10
6011	I just ran your test and it turns out you're actually a Hufflepuff.	1.2440	0.03356	250	201	37	12
6012	Now we'll get some leeches going on your legs, feet, and toes and that frostbite will be taken care of in no time.	1.2440	0.03404	250	202	35	13
6013	"I think you need to see a zookeeper, not a doctor."	1.2440	0.03404	250	202	35	13
6014	I suggest you keep him distracted.	1.2440	0.03209	250	198	43	9
6015	Unfortunately, you are now ineligible to donate your organs.	1.2440	0.03356	250	201	37	12
6016	Here’s your prescription for Prozac. If it doesn’t loosen up in a few weeks, give me a call and we’ll up your dose.	1.2439	0.03293	246	196	40	10
6017	I wouldn't worry. He's not venomous.	1.2439	0.03138	246	193	46	7
6018	Hang in there: after two weeks or so the snake should grow bored of you and then just hunt for mice in your apartment.	1.2439	0.02976	246	190	52	4
6019	please put your shoes on and follow me to the xray room.	1.2439	0.03343	246	197	38	11
6020	Your bloodwork came back normal. If you don't feel better in a week, give the office a call.	1.2439	0.03343	246	197	38	11
6021	You should keep it wrapped until the swelling goes down.	1.2439	0.03393	246	198	36	12
6022	Well since you've stopped feeding him, your temperature is down, but your blood pressure is still very high.	1.2439	0.03293	246	196	40	10
6023	On the bright side, you won’t have to explain to your mother why you missed the State of the Union.	1.2438	0.03170	283	228	41	14
6024	I see you elected NOT to wear the provided privacy gown."	1.2438	0.03224	242	191	43	8
6025	I have a diagnosis for the tightness in your chest.	1.2438	0.03480	242	196	33	13
6026	I believe I know the cause of your sore throat.	1.2438	0.03224	242	191	43	8
6027	The regular mouse traps weren't working	1.2437	0.03469	238	192	34	12
6028	We're trying some non-traditional methods to reduce the swelling.	1.2437	0.03417	238	191	36	11
6029	When I said you could benefit from more hugs, this was not what I had in mind.	1.2437	0.03147	238	186	46	6
6030	I know how it sounds, but the herpetologist can only help you with the snake.	1.2437	0.03519	238	193	32	13
6031	I doubt the procedure will be more invasive than the snake.	1.2437	0.03258	238	188	42	8
6032	When did you first notice this symptom?	1.2436	0.03063	275	218	47	10
6033	I told you—a dog would have been better.	1.2436	0.03402	234	187	37	10
6034	I considered a colonoscopy but I don't think the snake could handle the propofol	1.2436	0.03293	234	185	41	8
6035	When I suggested you restrict your carb intake, this isn’t quite what I had in mind.	1.2436	0.03293	234	185	41	8
6036	And how long do you think you’ve been all bound up?	1.2436	0.03402	234	187	37	10
6037	It'll be a bit of a squeeze, but I think I can book you for a 3:00pm check-up next Tuesday.	1.2436	0.03456	234	188	35	11
6038	Well to start, you put on the wrong type of Boa	1.2436	0.03293	234	185	41	8
6039	This one perplexes me. I'm sending you to a specialist.	1.2435	0.03047	271	214	48	9
6040	So is this shortness of breath only with exercise?	1.2435	0.03441	230	184	36	10
6041	You seemed to have put on a bit of weight since your last visit.	1.2434	0.03481	226	181	35	10
6042	Does it feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest?	1.2434	0.03424	226	180	37	9
6043	And what is your pain level without Monty Python?	1.2434	0.03307	226	178	41	7
6044	I'd like you to have these tests and see me again in two weeks.	1.2433	0.03197	263	210	42	11
6045	I'd advise you to also stay away from ladders.	1.2433	0.03286	263	212	38	13
6046	When did you first notice this writhing?	1.2432	0.03135	259	205	45	9
6047	You can get dressed now. Or not.	1.2432	0.03344	222	175	40	7
6048	How's the external, extra-strength vasoconstriction prescription working for your ?	1.2432	0.03464	222	177	36	9
6049	I'm referring you to a specialist named Jack Hannah.	1.2432	0.03365	259	210	35	14
6050	It's still not a lap band, Mr. Perkins.	1.2432	0.03182	259	206	43	10
6051	You seem consumed by your condition	1.2432	0.03344	222	175	40	7
6052	It’s our new all-natural weight loss treatment.	1.2432	0.03038	259	203	49	7
6053	Did the snake tell you that an apple a day would keep the doctor away?	1.2432	0.03275	259	208	39	12
6054	Yup, this is better than a chiropractor. Now, just stay there for another twenty minutes and whatever he does, don’t struggle. He’ll think you’re prey.	1.2431	0.03117	255	201	46	8
6055	Warm in the winter, cool in the summer, with the added benefit that you may lose a bit of weight.	1.2431	0.03166	255	202	44	9
6056	On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least and 10 the worst, how would you rate your pain?	1.2431	0.03446	255	208	32	15
6057	So you say your are under a lot of pressure at work? Have you tried yoga?	1.2431	0.03309	255	205	38	12
6058	He's not really bonding with you; but I'm sure he wants you to become part of his life.	1.2430	0.03344	251	202	37	12
6059	You'll only need to wear this compression bandage for a few more days!	1.2430	0.03485	214	170	36	8
6060	This is the most extreme case of a "suffocating relationship" I've ever seen. I am referring to to a veterinarian.	1.2429	0.03231	247	196	42	9
6061	What do you think might be causing this crushing pain that you feel?	1.2429	0.03380	247	199	36	12
6062	Your blood pressure seems a little high. Try to drop a few pounds before our next visit.	1.2429	0.03127	247	194	46	7
6063	Your chest pains are definitely not a heart attack.	1.2428	0.03316	243	194	39	10
6064	That crushing feeling... the labs and contrast studies showed nothing. I may have to actually examine you.	1.2428	0.03316	243	194	39	10
6065	Sir, I don't know why his wife has no interest in apples and I understand you're frustrated, but can you please release this nice man?	1.2427	0.03299	239	190	40	9
6066	Slow deep breaths and meditation help	1.2427	0.03506	239	194	32	13
6067	Not the first bad case of Boa Constrictor I've seen. It's been going around.	1.2427	0.03352	239	191	38	10
6068	Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Did you say it feels like an elephant sitting on your chest	1.2426	0.03280	235	186	41	8
6069	Let's see. Temperature, check. Blood pressure, check. Heart rate, check, probably need to get a closer look at that, little elevated but nothing to worry about now. Well, guess that does it..... insurance lady is down the hall	1.2425	0.03111	268	213	45	10
6070	Yes, your blood pressure is a little high. Let's see if exercise helps.	1.2424	0.03231	264	212	40	12
6071	I warned you about Chiropractics....	1.2424	0.03186	264	211	42	11
6072	Either way, you’ll shuffle off a mortal coil.	1.2424	0.03319	264	214	36	14
6073	You'll feel better when you regurgitate the apple.	1.2424	0.03428	231	185	36	10
6074	Unfortunately, your insurance doesn't cover this.	1.2423	0.03172	260	207	43	10
6075	You don't need an x-ray, but the python will.	1.2423	0.03523	227	183	33	11
6076	So, your symptoms include shallow breathing?	1.2423	0.03353	227	180	39	8
6077	Sir, these fad diets are difficult to maintain.	1.2423	0.03411	227	181	37	9
6078	"Dr. Rosenblatt is one of the best herpetologists in the country.	1.2423	0.03353	227	180	39	8
6079	If I had to bet, I’d go for your wheezing being asthma-related.	1.2422	0.03056	256	201	48	7
6080	This is one Florida diet too many.	1.2422	0.03251	256	205	40	11
6081	Yeah, I'm getting a rather high blood pressure reading.	1.2422	0.03155	256	203	44	9
6082	Having...trouble...breathing...Okay, and how long has this been going on for?	1.2422	0.03508	223	179	34	10
6083	Moments like this make me realize that I'm interfering in Darwinism	1.2422	0.03391	223	177	38	8
6084	I don't care if your underwear is dirty; the snake has got to go.	1.2422	0.03565	223	180	32	11
6085	We’ve already discussed how your diet choices affect your digestion, Mr. Snake.	1.2421	0.03332	252	203	37	12
6086	So...are we ready to shuffle off this mortal coil?	1.2421	0.03426	252	205	33	14
6087	It's obvious he is a loving pet Arlo.....he has a crush on you. I'm prescribing a mild sedative for you, but keep him away from your Viagra!	1.2421	0.03379	252	204	35	13
6088	For your shortness of breath I am prescribing an exhaler.	1.2420	0.03242	219	171	43	5
6089	For weight loss, diet may have been the better option	1.2420	0.03099	281	225	44	12
6090	I know you want to avoid medication, but we're running out of options.	1.2419	0.03270	248	198	40	10
6091	Sorry, we are on a tight schedule.	1.2419	0.03219	248	197	42	9
6092	Unfortunately your insurance doesn’t cover wraparound services but keep your head up, usually this problem solves itself.	1.2419	0.03270	248	198	40	10
6093	I believe your problem is your outfit is to constricting.	1.2419	0.03168	248	196	44	8
6094	The good news is I can write you a prescription for mice bait. The bad news is this is likely coming out-of-pocket.	1.2419	0.03219	248	197	42	9
6095	Yeah, Id'e say it was more from compression rather than congestion.	1.2418	0.03355	244	196	37	11
6096	Don't get too choked up, but I'm sorry to say your insurance only covers boa constrictors, not pythons.	1.2418	0.03200	244	193	43	8
6097	Snake-assisted gender transition is still in its infancy.	1.2418	0.03405	244	197	35	12
6098	I view of our Hippocratic Oath, I'm limited to prescribing muscle relaxers for it.	1.2418	0.03304	244	195	39	10
6099	You are in luck. I once treated a Radio City Music Hall dancer who was allergic to her boa.	1.2418	0.03071	273	217	46	10
6100	Now bear in mind this is just a temporary cure for your low blood pressure"	1.2417	0.03287	240	191	40	9
6101	Well, I guess we all feel the squeeze around this time of year.	1.2417	0.03234	240	190	42	8
6102	Chest pain, shortness of breath, numbness in your arm... no, it's definitely your heart. Self-diagnosing on webMD and youtube's never a good idea, Fred	1.2417	0.03443	240	194	34	12
6103	Now Mr Jones, when did this pain in your chest start to bother you?	1.2417	0.03392	240	193	36	11
6104	'How about just getting a gerbil or a puppy?	1.2417	0.03124	240	188	46	6
6105	I understand you've researched your symptoms online.	1.2416	0.03100	269	214	45	10
6106	If you quit smoking you'd breathe better.	1.2415	0.03377	236	189	37	10
6107	I understand exposure therapy went awry today.	1.2415	0.03482	236	191	33	12
6108	You will have to remove the snake Mr Johnson if I am going to examine you properly.	1.2415	0.03377	236	189	37	10
6109	The bad news is your health insurance doesn't cover a snakectomy. The good news is there is snake charmer next door.	1.2415	0.03323	236	188	39	9
6110	So we're going to recommend you stop smoking...	1.2415	0.03533	236	192	31	13
6111	It'll be easier on both of us if you start wearing boas instead of anacondas.	1.2415	0.03323	236	188	39	9
6112	Do you have a family history of chest constriction?	1.2415	0.03156	236	185	45	6
6113	Yes,you ARE losing weight,but that's NOT a tapeworm.	1.2415	0.03220	265	213	40	12
6114	You misread my handwriting; the prescription said "shrink wrap."	1.2415	0.03264	265	214	38	13
6115	Take this to the hamlet apothecary and he'll give you something to help you shuffle of this mortal coil.	1.2414	0.03359	232	185	38	9
6116	When did you first notice this problem?	1.2414	0.03627	232	190	28	14
6117	So, you'd say your cough is about the same?	1.2414	0.03359	232	185	38	9
6118	Any chest pain or tightness?	1.2414	0.03469	232	187	34	11
6119	I'm writing you a referral to see a constrictorvascular surgeon.	1.2414	0.03359	232	185	38	9
6120	At least it's not syphilis.	1.2414	0.03386	261	213	33	15
6121	No - I said dietary "restrictions".	1.2414	0.03601	203	162	33	8
6122	On the bright side, if you were a mouse, you’d have been charged for missing your appointment.	1.2414	0.03678	232	191	26	15
6123	First we'll do the blood work, then I have some thoughts on accessorizing.	1.2412	0.03377	257	209	34	14
6124	Your breathing seems restricted so lay off the sports for about 2 weeks .	1.2412	0.03286	257	207	38	12
6125	Interesting medical hiss-tory.	1.2412	0.03046	257	202	48	7
6126	We find this test gives a more accurate read of blood pressure in high-stress events.	1.2412	0.03509	228	184	33	11
6127	Let me suggest a puppy. Snakes are not known to be affectionate.	1.2412	0.03454	228	183	35	10
6128	That constricting feeling ... definitely caused by a constrictor.	1.2411	0.03209	282	229	38	15
6129	The good news is that there's no poison in your system."	1.2411	0.02971	253	197	51	5
6130	I'm gonna send you to this snake oil guy I know.	1.2411	0.03225	253	202	41	10
6131	I know you hate your annual exam, but you can’t slither your way out of this one.	1.2411	0.03551	224	181	32	11
6132	I advise that next time you skip the prop when reciting Shel Silverstein.	1.2411	0.03131	224	174	46	4
6133	So’you’ve been experiencing shortness of breath?	1.2410	0.03208	249	198	42	9
6134	The good news is the strep culture came back negative.	1.2409	0.03229	220	172	43	5
6135	Constipation is not normally treated with naturopathic techniques.	1.2409	0.03147	274	220	42	12
6136	Want to watch your blood pressure there, Mr Hackley.	1.2408	0.03441	245	199	33	13
6137	It says here your last doctor prescribed snake oil?	1.2408	0.03292	245	196	39	10
6138	Just to be clear, when a script calls for a "boa" to be worn, it's usually a "feather boa".	1.2408	0.03292	245	196	39	10
6139	I’m sorry sir but Medicare doesn’t cover boa constrictors.	1.2407	0.03330	216	170	40	6
6140	Claustrophobic cuddling is technically a symptom, not a disease.	1.2407	0.03178	270	217	41	12
6141	Hear one charmer and call me in the morning.	1.2407	0.03113	241	189	46	6
6142	At least you aren’t wearing fur.	1.2407	0.03327	241	193	38	10
6143	Unfortunately, Mr. Williams, your insurance only covers feathered boa removals....	1.2407	0.03379	241	194	36	11
6144	There's no cure, so just think of it as a fashion statement.	1.2407	0.03327	241	193	38	10
6145	I'm concerned about your blood pressure, Mr. Capibara.	1.2407	0.03430	241	195	34	12
6146	Im sorry Mr. Collins, but non -emergency use of an urgent care facility is not covered by your HMO insurance	1.2407	0.03379	241	194	36	11
6147	Doc, my chest is feeling a little tight.	1.2407	0.03379	241	194	36	11
6148	You may experience some slight discomfort ."	1.2406	0.03074	266	211	46	9
6149	Now when I said you should start doing crunches...	1.2406	0.03165	266	213	42	11
6150	What elephant?	1.2406	0.03381	266	218	32	16
6151	A support animal is efficacious for your condition, but there may be some slight side effects.	1.2406	0.03368	212	167	39	6
6152	So this seems to fulfill your emotional needs but its putting some restrictions on your breathing needs.	1.2405	0.03256	237	188	41	8
6153	It's normal separation anxiety. She should be ready to leave in no more than six months.	1.2405	0.03087	237	185	47	5
6154	Have you had any tightness in the chest?	1.2405	0.03241	262	211	39	12
6155	I suppose Boa Constrictive Bronchiolitis could be considered a pre-existing condition, but....	1.2405	0.03007	262	206	49	7
6156	Or you could just add some fiber to your diet.	1.2403	0.03455	233	188	34	11
6157	It's nothing a few mice won't fix. Now, how will you be paying? Insurance or Amex?	1.2403	0.03509	233	189	32	12
6158	Your chest tightness is probably not cardiac.	1.2403	0.03663	233	192	26	15
6159	I think your anxiety is getting worse.	1.2402	0.03603	229	187	29	13
6160	So you say you are feeling bound up?	1.2402	0.03065	254	200	47	7
6161	Okay then. Please explain where you're feeling tightness...	1.2402	0.03309	254	205	37	12
6162	Aside from macabre, it's the closest we have to a nonsurgical tummy-tuck.	1.2402	0.03013	254	199	49	6
6163	Now, don't get hiss-terical...	1.2402	0.03065	254	200	47	7
6164	The tightness in you chest is entirely psychosomatic, I assure you.	1.2400	0.03344	250	202	36	12
6165	So you say you've been feeling confined?"	1.2400	0.03246	250	200	40	10
6166	I'm going to prescribe oxycodone"	1.2400	0.03537	225	182	32	11
6167	I understand your reasoning Mr. Monty, but it can still impair your breathing.	1.2400	0.03196	250	199	42	9
6168	Not an appropriate costume for a visit to the doctor, sir.	1.2400	0.03094	250	197	46	7
6169	You seem to have gained a few pounds since your last visit	1.2398	0.03229	246	196	41	9
6170	are you going to live? no mr bond, i expect you to die.	1.2398	0.03330	246	198	37	11
6171	Just relax and take it easy. No pressure.	1.2398	0.03477	246	201	31	14
6172	My bill isn't the only thing that will squeeze the life out of you!	1.2398	0.03380	246	199	35	12
6173	Honestly, ever since, your blood pressure has improved.	1.2398	0.03380	246	199	35	12
6174	The good news is you've developed a resistance to Bubonic Plague	1.2398	0.03429	246	200	33	13
6175	Her name is Ana, Ana Conda, and we’re seriously in love, Doc.	1.2398	0.03380	246	199	35	12
6176	Just apply three times a day before a meal, it'll help with your diet.	1.2398	0.03429	246	200	33	13
6177	With a little minor surgery we can free your arms.	1.2398	0.03017	246	192	49	5
6178	So it says here you've been feeling a little tightness in the neck...	1.2398	0.03403	221	176	37	8
6179	as a veterinarian, I would suggest you pray	1.2398	0.03462	221	177	35	9
6180	Do you ever smoke, or hiss, or vape?	1.2397	0.03285	267	217	36	14
6181	I see you've gained weight.	1.2397	0.02970	267	210	50	7
6182	I'd like to prescribe a taper to a garter snake for two weeks.	1.2397	0.03367	242	195	36	11
6183	Oh dear, my last patient forgot her coat. Sit tight i'll be right back.	1.2397	0.03417	242	196	34	12
6184	Sometimes anxiety can make your throat feel constricted.	1.2397	0.03367	242	195	36	11
6185	Next time, don't touch the snake!	1.2397	0.03417	242	196	34	12
6186	Worms? We can't rule it out yet, but my gut says no...?	1.2395	0.03093	263	209	45	9
6187	So the lack of feathers wasn’t apparent until it was “too late”?	1.2395	0.03093	263	209	45	9
6188	So you think that might be a python rather than a boa constrictor?	1.2395	0.03455	238	193	33	12
6189	It's the latest all-natural treatment for bulging neck discs.	1.2395	0.03133	238	187	45	6
6190	I have cautioned you before about pets becoming too clingy.	1.2395	0.03189	238	188	43	7
6191	You were wrong, it wasn't crabs...	1.2395	0.03133	238	187	45	6
6192	It's just trying to keep warm until the vortex moves on	1.2395	0.03404	238	192	35	11
6193	Listen to your wife, Adam: eat more apples	1.2395	0.03351	238	191	37	10
6194	That might be true, but uou picked the wrong apple.	1.2395	0.03404	238	192	35	11
6195	Our tests show no cause for chest constrictions.	1.2393	0.03388	234	188	36	10
6196	I must say, always looking on the bright side of life works for you, Monty.	1.2393	0.03442	234	189	34	11
6197	Your blood pressure seems to up a bit	1.2392	0.03202	255	204	41	10
6198	Some therapies are unusual but we've had very good results with Emma here.	1.2391	0.03427	230	185	35	10
6199	Based on your self-diagnosis you did online, I'm writing you a prescription for an asthma inhaler.	1.2391	0.03314	230	183	39	8
6200	From what I can see here, there is no good news, only bad.	1.2390	0.03031	251	197	48	6
6201	OK Mr Snake... I think we'll just try one more enema!!!	1.2390	0.03185	251	200	42	9
6202	Two aspirins, a warm meal and a good night's sleep and he should be much better by tomorrow.	1.2390	0.03332	251	203	36	12
6203	Monty Python, everything appears normal.	1.2390	0.03031	251	197	48	6
6204	No health problems outside of a mild case of poor circulation	1.2390	0.03031	251	197	48	6
6205	Good news! You don’t have Caduceus syndrome, but you do have a case of Asclepius.	1.2390	0.03083	251	198	46	7
6206	Well, I can tell you that your discomfort is not due to an intestinal obstruction.	1.2389	0.03578	226	184	30	12
6207	If it bites you it is covered by insurance without a co-pay.	1.2389	0.03523	226	183	32	11
6208	Do you know if this runs in your family?	1.2389	0.03218	247	197	41	9
6209	Your insurance requires I assess your mental health. Tightly wound?	1.2389	0.03268	247	198	39	10
6210	I see you have been out charming the local Wildlife again.	1.2389	0.03114	247	195	45	7
6211	Let's try cutting out the apples.	1.2389	0.03166	247	196	43	8
6212	Yes, we've been seeing an uptick in cases like this since the deregulation of snake oil.	1.2389	0.03060	247	194	47	6
6213	Haute couture isn't a condition we generally see around here	1.2387	0.03565	222	180	31	11
6214	I'm prescribing a pit bull for you - you'll still have protection but with less pressure.	1.2387	0.03266	222	175	41	6
6215	This is the worst case of lung constriction I've ever seen.	1.2387	0.03507	222	179	33	10
6216	Mr. Houdini, this matter is entirely in your hands.	1.2387	0.03404	243	197	34	12
6217	Well, i'm going to need to refer you to a specialist.	1.2387	0.03198	243	193	42	8
6218	Your heart beat is very, very slow.	1.2387	0.03303	243	195	38	10
6219	So you really think eliminating gluten is gonna help this sudden weight gain and scaly skin... but the shortness of breath?	1.2387	0.03454	243	198	32	13
6220	Feeling a little constricted?	1.2387	0.03198	243	193	42	8
6221	You seem to be coping but the snake is a little dehydrated. I'm going to call for a consult with the animal clinic two blocks down.	1.2387	0.03145	243	192	44	7
6222	Get this filled and come back to see me in a week	1.2387	0.03404	243	197	34	12
6223	Well Adam, apparently last week's "An apple a day" script didn't work out for you, so let's try something else.	1.2387	0.03303	243	195	38	10
6224	When it comes to health, what goes around comes around.	1.2386	0.03394	264	217	31	16
6225	OK, now take five deep breaths and then tell me if you feel any discomfort.	1.2386	0.03174	264	212	41	11
6226	It's not the snake I'm worried about, it's what's inside.	1.2385	0.03391	239	193	35	11
6227	So, you went backpacking for spring break. Good thing you didn't bring back any fruits or vegetables.	1.2385	0.03232	239	190	41	8
6228	Compression socks may help...	1.2385	0.03339	239	192	37	10
6229	This is a very constrictive diet.	1.2385	0.03177	239	189	43	7
6230	Take two of these and call PETA in the morning.	1.2385	0.03206	260	209	40	11
6231	So your insurance cards are under the snake...	1.2383	0.03593	214	173	31	10
6232	I take it you've never heard the phrase "Don't tread on me."	1.2383	0.03429	235	190	34	11
6233	We'll need more tests, but it looks like a constriction in your esophagus.	1.2383	0.03321	235	188	38	9
6234	So, you say you feel like life is being squeezed out of you. There's been a lot of that going around lately, but I'm not sure why. Have you been eating enough fiber?	1.2383	0.03533	235	192	30	13
6235	I know, Doc, but she never complains and loves to cuddle.	1.2383	0.03321	235	188	38	9
6236	I believe in hugs	1.2383	0.03429	235	190	34	11
6237	This is the worst tapeworm I've ever seen.	1.2383	0.03191	256	205	41	10
6238	This should help with your anxiety about all that other stuff.	1.2383	0.03043	256	202	47	7
6239	Do you hear a hissing noise?	1.2381	0.03358	231	185	37	9
6240	I'm giving you a prescription for charm school.	1.2381	0.03413	231	186	35	10
6241	In spite of your name Mr Monty, I don’t think this is funny.	1.2381	0.03272	252	203	38	11
6242	Reminds me of how I met my first wife.	1.2379	0.03221	269	218	38	13
6243	I think that wraps it up for this session. Any questions?	1.2379	0.03306	248	200	37	11
6244	I am afraid your insurance declined the coverage for the second snake.	1.2379	0.03306	248	200	37	11
6245	You have to give her credit. "No" means "no."	1.2379	0.03155	248	197	43	8
6246	Reptilitis, third case I’ve seen this week!	1.2379	0.03103	248	196	45	7
6247	Unfortunately,your condition isn't covered by medical insurance.	1.2379	0.03396	227	182	36	9
6248	Weren’t you in here last week with a ladder?	1.2379	0.03564	227	185	30	12
6249	I have to apologize - I forgot my glasses at home. What seems to be the problem today?	1.2377	0.03133	244	193	44	7
6250	I see you have been taking the snake oil instead of my prescription.	1.2377	0.03239	244	195	40	9
6251	'How about your medical hiss-tory?'	1.2377	0.03392	244	198	34	12
6252	It is a more organic blood pressure monitoring procedure . Unfortunately , we do not yet have it quite perfected .	1.2377	0.03239	244	195	40	9
6253	When did you notice that your skin was dry and scaly?	1.2377	0.03079	244	192	46	6
6254	You have tightness in your upper torso so I'm referring you to a Cardiologist.	1.2377	0.03342	244	197	36	11
6255	"On a scale of zero to ten, death occurs quite often."	1.2377	0.03133	244	193	44	7
6256	It appears like you have a very bad case of ringworm.	1.2377	0.03717	223	184	25	14
6257	The patient gown? It's a partnership with the vet's office next door.	1.2377	0.03550	223	181	31	11
6258	You appear to be feeling some pressure.	1.2377	0.03375	223	178	37	8
6259	...and so, how are the toes today?	1.2376	0.02783	303	239	56	8
6260	I'm putting you on a constrictive diet.	1.2375	0.03331	261	213	34	14
6261	The diagnosis may be a lot to wrap your head around, but you're about half way there.	1.2375	0.03374	261	214	32	15
6262	The devil's in the entrails	1.2375	0.03480	240	196	31	13
6263	I wouldn't worry about those constructions. Come back and see me if you hear a rattle in there.	1.2375	0.03429	240	195	33	12
6264	Yes... you’re cholesterol is quite normal, actually. Are you sure there’s nothing else you’d like to discuss today?	1.2375	0.03429	240	195	33	12
6265	I found a constriction and I'm going to recommend statins.	1.2375	0.03429	240	195	33	12
6266	You should’ve just eaten that apple Adam	1.2375	0.03326	240	193	37	10
6267	I have a cat ... gonna recommend you get one too.	1.2375	0.03326	240	193	37	10
6268	...These genie jokes all end the same.. ”Careful what you wish for ”	1.2375	0.03378	240	194	35	11
6269	Ok Mr. Klemptster, you mentioned she was charming, and you just woke up like this?	1.2375	0.03273	240	192	39	9
6270	And where did you say you went on this vacation?	1.2375	0.03326	240	193	37	10
6271	Well, Mr Smith, this really isn't a medical problem... May I suggest a warm bath and a drink of hot milk - that always helps me unwind.	1.2374	0.03475	219	176	34	9
6272	And what about the choking feeling you get?	1.2374	0.03289	219	173	40	6
6273	Are you the only person alive that doesn't know that wearing snakeskin is illegal?	1.2374	0.03594	219	178	30	11
6274	You’re an icon in my profession.	1.2374	0.03535	219	177	32	10
6275	So, any family history of reptilian constrictivitis?	1.2374	0.03065	278	223	44	11
6276	You’re feeling constricted? Breathing is laboured? That’s your reptilian brain screwing with you.	1.2374	0.03366	257	210	33	14
6277	Constipated?	1.2373	0.03309	236	189	38	9
6278	How long have you been bound up?	1.2373	0.03254	236	188	40	8
6279	So he thinks you are a mouse?	1.2373	0.03309	236	189	38	9
6280	Any problems with co-workers at the office?	1.2373	0.03363	236	190	36	10
6281	Well, we have to run some tests, but taking your blood pressure will not be one of them.	1.2373	0.03468	236	192	32	12
6282	Where is the apple?	1.2373	0.03571	236	194	28	14
6283	Now rank your pain on a scale of 1 to 10	1.2372	0.03220	274	223	37	14
6284	I’m thinking the pressure you’re feeling is not a heart attack	1.2372	0.03402	253	207	32	14
6285	I'm writing you a prescription for a laxative, but I don't think you'll need it.	1.2372	0.03402	253	207	32	14
6286	Yeah so I'll let you know when your tests come back.	1.2371	0.03289	232	185	39	8
6287	You have a serious case of serpentitis.	1.2371	0.03508	232	189	31	12
6288	I can't remember...was the trip to Burma last week or this week?	1.2371	0.03114	232	182	45	5
6289	Try not to get so wrapped up in your problems.	1.2371	0.03400	232	187	35	10
6290	He may provide emotional support, but lumbar-wise, he's worse than useless.	1.2369	0.03195	249	199	41	9
6291	I suggest that you get an Irish setter as your next pet.	1.2369	0.03343	249	202	35	12
6292	I get it, but you'll still have to roll over on your side	1.2368	0.03382	228	183	36	9
6293	How long have you been experiencing this shortness of breath?	1.2368	0.03382	228	183	36	9
6294	You're definitely stressed. I'm going to prescribe something so you won't be wrapped so tightly...	1.2367	0.03175	245	195	42	8
6295	It's a rare patient who's not afraid of scales.	1.2367	0.03227	245	196	40	9
6296	I can’t turn my head but I’ll cough for you	1.2367	0.03379	245	199	34	12
6297	The arterial constriction is worse than I thought.	1.2366	0.03091	262	209	44	9
6298	Unfortunately, your insurance carrier refuses to provide coverage, since they have no medical code which relates to this situation.	1.2366	0.03275	262	213	36	13
6299	I am afraid your options are constricted.	1.2366	0.03421	224	180	35	9
6300	A perfect match if I may say so: she got a crush on you and she's your main squeeze!"	1.2366	0.03592	224	183	29	12
6301	I'm going to refer you to the best aspman in the city.	1.2366	0.03421	224	180	35	9
6302	How long have you had this feeling of tightness in you upper body?	1.2365	0.03366	241	195	35	11
6303	Its a new tactic being used by divorce lawyers. I suggest you settle quickly!	1.2365	0.03366	241	195	35	11
6304	All the celebrities are doing it, it’s the new liposuction	1.2365	0.03261	241	193	39	9
6305	So she’s still mad at you for betting on the Rams.	1.2365	0.03516	241	198	29	14
6306	Have you considered giving up these boa tie events?	1.2364	0.03263	258	209	37	12
6307	On the upside your figure is going to be incredible.	1.2364	0.03072	258	205	45	8
6308	Your snake needs to cough up his co-pay.	1.2364	0.03263	258	209	37	12
6309	You need to shed a few pounds.	1.2364	0.03276	220	174	40	6
6310	Yes sir, I will write you a work excuse. I don’t think your coworkers would want you coming to work in your current condition.	1.2364	0.03461	220	177	34	9
6311	I'll prescribe some snake oil that might help reduce your blood pressure	1.2363	0.03403	237	192	34	11
6312	We've narrowed the squeezing pain down to angina, indigestion...	1.2363	0.03350	237	191	36	10
6313	Take these muscle relaxers for a week and refrain from reading The New Yorker or watching MSNBC and CNN, that should loosen the grip and have you feeling better.	1.2363	0.03296	237	190	38	9
6314	Sir, I need to check your other snake...	1.2363	0.03506	237	194	30	13
6315	Sorry, Mr Brown, your insurance doesn't cover boa restrictors	1.2363	0.03350	237	191	36	10
6316	So I’d like to take some x-rays, draw some blood. Don’t worry, we’re going to figure out what’s bothering you soon enough. Hey Doc, maybe you should just stop writing and look at me.	1.2363	0.03607	237	196	26	15
6317	What is your pet’s name?	1.2362	0.03201	254	204	40	10
6318	You may have an esophageal constriction. I'm sending you to a GI specialist.	1.2362	0.03156	271	219	40	12
6319	I notice some problems when you try to Aspirate!	1.2362	0.02932	271	214	50	7
6320	Do you have a history of chest pains?	1.2362	0.03242	271	221	36	14
6321	Have you noticed any different symptoms since your last visit	1.2361	0.03440	216	173	35	8
6322	A few tests and we’ll know the cause of your crushing chest pain.	1.2361	0.03441	233	189	33	11
6323	Well, she obviously likes warm-bodied creatures.	1.2361	0.03387	233	188	35	10
6324	Do you have any of the following risk factors?	1.2361	0.03387	233	188	35	10
6325	So, "Snake got your tongue?"	1.2360	0.03233	250	201	39	10
6326	There are safer ways to trim down.	1.2360	0.03132	250	199	43	8
6327	The constipation should subside if you constrict less.	1.2360	0.03283	250	202	37	11
6328	Looks like you've gone as far as you can on the Amazon diet. Let's switch to the Mediterranean. The	1.2360	0.03331	250	203	35	12
6329	Nutrisystem would have been safer.	1.2360	0.03283	250	202	37	11
6330	So you say you took the snake oil three times a day?	1.2360	0.03142	267	215	41	11
6331	I made an appointment for you for next monday to see if you are still having chest pain!	1.2360	0.03142	267	215	41	11
6332	Your cholesterol is a bit high. I'm going to put you on a statin.	1.2358	0.03426	229	185	34	10
6333	So you did try laxatives first and it didn't work ...	1.2358	0.03426	229	185	34	10
6334	So, how would you describe your chest pain?	1.2358	0.03312	229	183	38	8
6335	In his eyes, unoriginal sin is still a sin	1.2358	0.03057	246	194	46	6
6336	How long ago were you glamping in the Everglades?	1.2358	0.03367	246	200	34	12
6337	Bad news: it's Montgomery Python disease. Good news: you'll laugh yourself to death.	1.2358	0.03416	246	201	32	13
6338	Rest assured, we've left no stone left unturned in determining your diagnosis. Your labs, CT scan, MRI, treadmill, lung function tests were all normal, so I'm referring you to psychiatry to help you with your sensation of being strangulated.	1.2357	0.03080	263	210	44	9
6339	You are to uptight, try to relax and unwind.	1.2356	0.03228	225	178	41	6
6340	I'm sorry, but not I can't you clearance to take your emotional support python on the plane.	1.2355	0.03503	242	199	29	14
6341	Okay, let's get you on the scale and check your weight.	1.2355	0.03196	242	193	41	8
6342	It looks as if you're in a relationship that could threaten your very being.	1.2355	0.03158	259	208	41	10
6343	I’m feeling pretty rattled, Doctor.	1.2353	0.03214	289	238	34	17
6344	Get over it, she doesn’t want the apple anymore!	1.2353	0.03395	272	226	28	18
6345	I don’t know where the apple is.	1.2353	0.03337	238	192	36	10
6346	I am scheduling you for tests on Tuesday, don't worry.	1.2353	0.03564	221	180	30	11
6347	I'm fairly certain you have Python Attachment Disorder...but it is curable.	1.2353	0.03331	255	208	34	13
6348	You are getting a little thick in the middle.	1.2353	0.03041	255	202	46	7
6349	So how long have your arms felt numb?	1.2353	0.03174	238	189	42	7
6350	His post-op recovery is going so well that I think it’s time we reintroduce solids into his diet.	1.2353	0.03442	238	194	32	12
6351	You should have taken a baby Aspirin at the onset of the chest pain.	1.2353	0.03174	238	189	42	7
6352	Besides the pain around your neck; what other symptoms do you have?	1.2353	0.03189	255	205	40	10
6353	Hmmm. I guess it's no use listening to your lungs.	1.2350	0.03481	234	191	31	12
6354	So your chief complaint is constriction?	1.2350	0.03428	234	190	33	11
6355	Looks to me like you are entangled in a relationship. Let me refer you to a psychologist.	1.2350	0.03299	217	172	39	6
6356	Mowgli, you're grown up now - time to unwind.	1.2350	0.03426	217	174	35	8
6357	I’m going to have to refer you to someone that sells snake oil.	1.2350	0.03488	217	175	33	9
6358	Fifteen minutes of this boa therapy works wonders on your belly fat.	1.2348	0.03070	264	211	44	9
6359	Your skin is cold and scaly, your pulse is 40, your body temperature is 72... Hey, are you by any chance wearing a boa constrictor?	1.2348	0.03255	247	199	38	10
6360	Would you say the two of you have bonded?	1.2348	0.03100	247	196	44	7
6361	Mr. Harrison, I don't care what you read in the checkout aisle, a Constriction Diet is not really a thing...	1.2348	0.03403	247	202	32	13
6362	Bob, how can I discuss dietary constrictions with Wiggles if you won’t wait outside ?	1.2348	0.03355	247	201	34	12
6363	I think you both need some separation time.	1.2348	0.03152	247	197	42	8
6364	When did you first notice you were congested?	1.2348	0.03100	247	196	44	7
6365	I am thinking that tightness and constriction you describe is nothing more than normal work stress.	1.2348	0.03255	247	199	38	10
6366	I would love to help, but it looks like your HMO doesn’t cover ophiology.	1.2348	0.03355	247	201	34	12
6367	How long have you had that cough?	1.2348	0.03356	230	185	36	9
6368	Second opinion? Go to your vet!	1.2348	0.03356	230	185	36	9
6369	The good news is, it' snot contagious."	1.2348	0.03060	230	180	46	4
6370	You have a tendency to get wrapped up in the wrong stuff!	1.2347	0.03063	277	223	43	11
6371	Relax, it’s not a heart attack, but you do look a little thick around the middle.	1.2346	0.02952	260	205	49	6
6372	I'm going to refer you to a veterinary specialist. However, you are still responsible for our reptile co-payment.	1.2346	0.03002	260	206	47	7
6373	Honestly? I like the ensemble better with the cape.	1.2346	0.03194	260	210	39	11
6374	It must be something going around—my wife has also been feeling suffocated.	1.2346	0.03441	243	199	31	13
6375	Give two mice twice a day and I’ll see you back in a week.	1.2346	0.03130	243	193	43	7
6376	Next Fall, don't be so cheap. Just buy a coat. And, not to worry, he'll go away in the Spring	1.2346	0.03020	243	191	47	5
6377	And how long ago did you start feeling the snake?	1.2345	0.03394	226	182	35	9
6378	There's nothing we can do for you here, but I'm writing you a referral to a snake-oil salesman I know.	1.2345	0.03563	226	185	29	12
6379	How would you rate your shortness of breath on a scale of 1 to 10?	1.2345	0.03394	226	182	35	9
6380	Yeah, you could probably shed a few pounds.	1.2344	0.03306	209	165	39	5
6381	This is just temporary, the (spine) surgery is scheduled in two weeks.	1.2344	0.03273	256	208	36	12
6382	It wasn't easy; all your tests were off the scale.	1.2344	0.03178	256	206	40	10
6383	You do realize the serious potential consequences of not signing the privacy consent form ?	1.2344	0.03320	256	209	34	13
6384	I see my assistant squeezed you into my schedule.	1.2343	0.03271	239	192	38	9
6385	I'm going to prescribe something to take your mind off the constriction.	1.2343	0.03271	239	192	38	9
6386	Yes that's true, I did tell you to apply snake oil to the affected area.	1.2343	0.03325	239	193	36	10
6387	Sorry to say, you're not covered. I thought you meant you had a Corba Plan from your job at the vivarium.	1.2342	0.03433	222	179	34	9
6388	Shortness of breath? Maybe you’re allergic to snakeskin.	1.2342	0.03209	269	219	37	13
6389	And you say you use it as your vindshield viper	1.2341	0.03355	252	206	33	13
6390	I was forced to diversify; herpetology alone, wasn't going to pay off my student loan.	1.2341	0.03210	252	203	39	10
6391	...and 20 milligrams Robaxin for the snake.	1.2341	0.03307	252	205	35	12
6392	OK, so you say everything was OK until after you took your clothes off, then what happened?	1.2341	0.03210	252	203	39	10
6393	Your tests all look good. I'm writing you a prescription for some nutria, which should encourage your serpent to disengage.	1.2341	0.03110	252	201	43	8
6394	That's not the rattling I'm talking about.	1.2340	0.03361	235	190	35	10
6395	Well, your blood pressure looks normal. Do you feel any mild compression on your chest?	1.2340	0.03361	235	190	35	10
6396	You seem tense. Is anything causing you stress?	1.2340	0.03672	235	196	23	16
6397	I'd say its probably just stress.	1.2340	0.03307	235	189	37	9
6398	Chest constrictions huh? Have you considered changing your diet?	1.2340	0.03251	235	188	39	8
6399	Samuel L. Jackson called. He wants his co-star back.	1.2340	0.03307	235	189	37	9
6400	We can do the extraction in the Garden.	1.2340	0.03195	235	187	41	7
6401	It's a tribal cure I learned in the Amazon.	1.2340	0.03520	235	193	29	13
6402	I see here your wife is allergic to snakes	1.2340	0.03251	235	188	39	8
6403	The hospital administrators are always looking for new approaches to medicine. This is how we take blood pressure now, and actually your seems pretty high.	1.2340	0.03152	265	214	40	11
6404	You know, in Florida, sustaining a boa constrictor related injury is considered a rite of passage.	1.2340	0.02965	265	210	48	7
6405	I thought my last patient was uptight.	1.2340	0.03197	265	215	38	12
6406	Your EKG was fine. I have no idea why you still feel tightness in your chest.	1.2339	0.03342	248	202	34	12
6407	...and what do you think is causing this 'tightening' sensation?	1.2339	0.03293	248	201	36	11
6408	So, you say your outfit is a bit constricting when you put it on. Any bloating?	1.2339	0.03089	248	197	44	7
6409	There’s still some constriction in your arteries.	1.2339	0.03243	248	200	38	10
6410	.....but the good news is I promise you won't feel a thing when I take your blood pressure....	1.2339	0.03293	248	201	36	11
6411	It says here that you suffer from Ophidiophobia, can you tell me more about that?	1.2338	0.03456	201	160	35	6
6412	Your breathing appears constricted but we'll have to perform some tests.	1.2338	0.03286	231	185	38	8
6413	When did you first noice your weight gain?	1.2338	0.03286	231	185	38	8
6414	So, you're saying this happened when you rolled doubles while on a ladder?	1.2338	0.03665	231	192	24	15
6415	You call it separation anxiety, Mr. Wallace; the medical community calls it a highly-effective feeding instinct mechanism.	1.2338	0.03561	231	190	28	13
6416	The bad news is your insurance just expired. But the good news is that snake season opens today.	1.2337	0.03183	261	211	39	11
6417	Were you in the sideshow or at the sideshow?	1.2337	0.03136	261	210	41	10
6418	This is the most natural form of touch therapy on the market today.	1.2337	0.03183	261	211	39	11
6419	I'm referring you to a snake charmer.	1.2337	0.03041	261	208	45	8
6420	Can you be more specific about this Chest Constriction you are experiencing....?	1.2337	0.03089	261	209	43	9
6421	I looked at the results of all the tests we administered and found absolutely nothing unusual.	1.2336	0.03277	244	197	37	10
6422	Luckily, I’m a renowned snake oil salesman	1.2336	0.03277	244	197	37	10
6423	According to your intake form, you work for the zoo. Can you tell me more?	1.2336	0.03082	274	221	42	11
6424	How long have you been feeling lightheaded?	1.2335	0.03322	227	182	37	8
6425	It states here that you have some heaviness in your chest.	1.2335	0.03263	227	181	39	7
6426	For your high blood pressure, I'm going to prescribe Prazosin for you and mice for him.	1.2335	0.03380	227	183	35	9
6427	Yes, you are making a hissing sound.	1.2335	0.03322	227	182	37	8
6428	Not to worry. It's possessive because it cares about you.	1.2335	0.03167	257	207	40	10
6429	If you could just remove your scarf for me here, I can begin the exam	1.2335	0.03020	257	204	46	7
6430	My tests show your blood vessels are constricted, but I don't know the cause.	1.2335	0.03262	257	209	36	12
6431	The tests don’t show Aspbergers	1.2334	0.03030	287	232	43	12
6432	I want you to cut down on pizza and rats.	1.2334	0.03030	287	232	43	12
6433	Let me guess, you got it from a snake coil salesman?	1.2333	0.02975	270	215	47	8
6434	Leeches are so old school	1.2333	0.03259	240	193	38	9
6435	We've found this works wonderfully for constipation	1.2333	0.03205	240	192	40	8
6436	I have some bad news Mister Witten, It's ...poisonous.	1.2333	0.03021	270	216	45	9
6437	I know it's awkward, but you should keep that bandage on for another week.	1.2333	0.03365	240	195	34	11
6438	Any changes to your diet?	1.2333	0.03259	240	193	38	9
6439	As your vet I am going to recommend some jaw unhinging exercises.	1.2332	0.03389	253	208	31	14
6440	Whoa! I've never seen one shed all its feathers before.	1.2332	0.03343	253	207	33	13
6441	At this point your best bet is surgical removal, starting with the legs.	1.2332	0.03248	253	205	37	11
6442	Bugspray and shots aren't foolproof for such vacations.	1.2332	0.03343	253	207	33	13
6443	Try these meds for a week. Then call me if you’re still short of breath.	1.2332	0.03048	253	201	45	7
6444	You're lucky my sub-specialty is herpetology.	1.2332	0.03048	253	201	45	7
6445	Don't worry, Your EKG and enzymes are all normal; its just musculosceletal pain	1.2332	0.03237	223	177	40	6
6446	It's just a little diaphragm constriction.......	1.2331	0.03096	266	214	42	10
6447	Your blood pressure is a bit high.	1.2331	0.03183	236	188	41	7
6448	No it's not a turtle neck. It's a boa neck.	1.2331	0.03402	236	192	33	11
6449	OK, OK, I tread on him, now what’s our next move?	1.2329	0.03181	249	200	40	9
6450	So, you're asking me as a veterinarian if it's ethical to wear a boa constrictor?" I'd say wrangle at your own risk.	1.2329	0.03078	249	198	44	7
6451	I think snake oil is just what you need.	1.2329	0.03336	219	175	37	7
6452	I am writing you a prescription for a mate to entice this one away, however, it's probably tier one and not covered by Medicare!	1.2329	0.03208	219	173	41	5
6453	Nope. No. I'm not doing this again Craig. you come in here every fucking week. Fuck. Come on man.	1.2329	0.03636	219	180	27	12
6454	Your tests are negative for ringworm.	1.2328	0.03125	262	211	41	10
6455	You may experience some chest tightness during the treatment.	1.2328	0.03125	262	211	41	10
6456	I can offer you the name of a colleague if you want a second opinion.	1.2328	0.03386	232	188	34	10
6457	More than just your bowls are constricted.	1.2328	0.03386	232	188	34	10
6458	Do you want the good news or the bad news first?	1.2328	0.03274	232	186	38	8
6459	It's the latest method for monitoring blood pressure.	1.2327	0.03316	245	199	35	11
6460	Take an aspirin and some antivenom and call me in the morning.	1.2327	0.03161	245	196	41	8
6461	Doc, can I have a hearing test? I keep hearing a low hiss	1.2327	0.03416	245	201	31	13
6462	For health reasons, I recommend that you pick up a different hobby.	1.2327	0.03316	245	199	35	11
6463	I see you have a history of breathing problems.	1.2327	0.03161	245	196	41	8
6464	...and two weeks in Maui to unwind.	1.2326	0.03059	258	206	44	8
6465	Give him two aspirin and see how he feels in the morning.	1.2326	0.03250	258	210	36	12
6466	This med is expensive so you may feel a little squeezed this month.	1.2326	0.03009	258	205	46	7
6467	Don't worry, they're not poisonous.	1.2326	0.03309	215	171	38	6
6468	I said: 'Undress'!	1.2326	0.03204	258	209	38	11
6469	‘A comfort animal isn’t supposed to inspire intense discomfort in others, can we agree on that?’	1.2325	0.03480	228	186	31	11
6470	My hands are tied too Mr. Jones, I can't help you with this preexisting condition.	1.2325	0.03367	228	184	35	9
6471	Five more minutes and then we'll check your breathing.	1.2324	0.03139	241	192	42	7
6472	It seems to have spread quickly from the lymph nodes to the groin.	1.2324	0.03352	241	196	34	11
6473	Now listen-COBRA, not Boa, COBRA!	1.2324	0.03352	241	196	34	11
6474	The python will be OK, but I'm not sure about you.	1.2324	0.03083	241	191	44	6
6475	Sorry, but neither of your insurance cards showed up on our computer.	1.2324	0.03601	241	201	24	16
6476	I warned you where this fixation with John Cleese would lead.	1.2323	0.03556	198	159	32	7
6477	I wrote "turtle neck", not "python"	1.2323	0.03138	254	204	41	9
6478	Its test results show it loves garlic--so you're going to have to give that up.	1.2323	0.03138	254	204	41	9
6479	There are lots better ways to get a hug.	1.2323	0.03284	254	207	35	12
6480	And when did this sensation of increased pressure start?	1.2321	0.03405	224	181	34	9
6481	You’re only supposed to take one, and it should not last more than four hours.	1.2321	0.03493	237	195	29	13
6482	How many tiers would you like removed?	1.2321	0.03056	237	187	45	5
6483	The latest research suggests that if you have a small butt, you're fairly safe.	1.2321	0.03544	237	196	27	14
6484	It seems digestive.	1.2321	0.03171	237	189	41	7
6485	Mr. Murphy, of course the medication is strong. As I always say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!	1.2320	0.03220	250	202	38	10
6486	Have you eaten any apples recently?	1.2320	0.03220	250	202	38	10
6487	I’m recommending a month-long fast.	1.2320	0.03270	250	203	36	11
6488	It’s a common case of Boa Constriction	1.2320	0.03366	250	205	32	13
6489	So I understand the alligator was not a successful companion animal choice.	1.2319	0.02975	276	221	46	9
6490	I suggest Catholicism.	1.2318	0.03734	220	183	23	14
6491	Well, your blood pressure is slightly elevated.	1.2318	0.03322	220	176	37	7
6492	Mr. Jones, I'm sorry to say it was more than just a snake bite.	1.2318	0.03204	233	186	40	7
6493	Take an apple and call me in the morning, Mr. Adam.	1.2318	0.03427	233	190	32	11
6494	So you say you’ve had trouble swallowing lately?	1.2318	0.03146	233	185	42	6
6495	You are Adam, or Eve?	1.2318	0.03317	233	188	36	9
6496	In all my years as a Gastro Internest, I have never seen a patient as constricted as you	1.2317	0.03403	246	202	31	13
6497	More fiber might loosen you up down there	1.2317	0.02988	246	194	47	5
6498	So, you have a family history of chest pain, right?	1.2317	0.03150	246	197	41	8
6499	Okay, so, let's add rest, ice and elevation and see if that helps.	1.2317	0.03192	259	210	38	11
6500	Actually, this form of a tight hug is not a true sign of affection.	1.2317	0.03192	259	210	38	11
6501	The good news is that the cat has let go of your toungue.	1.2317	0.03145	259	209	40	10
6502	We don’t really do ‘sliding scales’.	1.2316	0.03134	272	221	39	12
6503	This time, apple juice, Adam	1.2315	0.03496	203	163	33	7
6504	When was it you began feeling chest pain?	1.2314	0.03354	229	185	35	9
6505	No, I am not ruling out herpes just because you are a herpetologist.	1.2314	0.03339	242	197	34	11
6506	This new anti-snake venom should work.	1.2314	0.03339	242	197	34	11
6507	So you said you first felt a tickle in your throat?	1.2314	0.03390	242	198	32	12
6508	Your oxytocin levels will drop when the hugging ends.	1.2314	0.03072	242	192	44	6
6509	What have you been feeding him?	1.2314	0.03127	242	193	42	7
6510	Just don't do a colonoscopy this week.	1.2314	0.03272	255	208	35	12
6511	Diet pills should help it fall right off.	1.2314	0.03027	255	203	45	7
6512	When you said yor job was "killing you", I didn't think you meant literally!	1.2314	0.03127	255	205	41	9
6513	I'm just feeling a little constricted at work lately.	1.2313	0.03252	268	220	34	14
6514	You could stand to lose what, about 30 pounds?	1.2311	0.03212	225	179	40	6
6515	You say you feel pressure in your chest..?...	1.2311	0.03215	238	191	39	8
6516	If you're tempted to try that 'Apple a Day' diet again, come to me first	1.2311	0.03323	238	193	35	10
6517	So, you say you've been feeling the need for more touch and intimacy.	1.2311	0.03269	238	192	37	9
6518	Leaving aside my obvious medical concerns I must insist that it is a terrible fashion statement.	1.2311	0.03323	238	193	35	10
6519	Snake oil twice a day and you should be fine.	1.2311	0.03102	238	189	43	6
6520	We can't rule out excessive stress in your life for that feeling of constriction in your chest and abdomen.	1.2311	0.02986	238	187	47	4
6521	Constipated, but you feel better when you unwind?	1.2311	0.03056	251	200	44	7
6522	Well at least you didn’t drown	1.2311	0.03354	251	206	32	13
6523	You're left handed, Doctor. That's weird.	1.2311	0.03108	251	201	42	8
6524	Some mediation should help you feel less constricted	1.2311	0.03104	264	213	41	10
6525	Can you please put your python aside for the physical?	1.2310	0.03052	277	224	42	11
6526	So, other than the tightness in your chest did you experience any arm pain or indigestion?	1.2308	0.03490	221	180	31	10
6527	It looks like your health is in a downward spiral.	1.2308	0.03036	273	220	43	10
6528	Well, looks like a common asp sprain, you should be up on your feet in no time	1.2308	0.03370	221	178	35	8
6529	Your blood pressure is high. I'll write you a prescription.	1.2308	0.03370	221	178	35	8
6530	It’s not your intestine...	1.2308	0.03182	221	175	41	5
6531	I'm guessing Pharaoh denied your Exodus demand.	1.2308	0.03249	234	188	38	8
6532	Don't worry, it's just a virus.	1.2308	0.03292	247	201	35	11
6533	Lupus.	1.2308	0.03190	247	199	39	9
6534	Believe me, this addiction always starts with deceptively harmless feather boa.	1.2308	0.03305	234	189	36	9
6535	The good news is that you only have to feed him once a day.	1.2308	0.03190	247	199	39	9
6536	This is a love story for the ages.	1.2305	0.03154	269	219	38	12
6537	Next winter, try Arizona	1.2305	0.02948	243	191	48	4
6538	I'm glad to see that you finally got a grip on yourself	1.2305	0.03276	243	197	36	10
6539	Your circulation IS low, but your blood work came back clear. I'm afraid we'll have to run some more tests.	1.2305	0.03327	243	198	34	11
6540	Since your chest tightness is continuous and not exertional, we can exclude heart causes.	1.2305	0.03378	243	199	32	12
6541	Well, your test results are all normal. It's hard to say what's really going on with you. Let's just keep an eye on it and let me know if your symptoms get any worse.	1.2305	0.03116	243	194	42	7
6542	Did they tell you how to get the snake oil?	1.2304	0.03341	230	186	35	9
6543	...however, the good news is, you're all set for Paris fashion week.	1.2304	0.03225	230	184	39	7
6544	Your new diet plan seems to be working, at least until she gets hungry.	1.2304	0.03282	217	173	38	6
6545	Let's try an inhaler. You get treatment for your shortness of breath and I get a free trip to Tahiti.	1.2304	0.03651	217	179	26	12
6546	I advise you to continue to constrict your calorie intake	1.2302	0.02952	265	211	47	7
6547	Tell Snakey it's okay for the doctor to look.	1.2302	0.03147	252	203	40	9
6548	What exactly possessed you to use Tinder?	1.2302	0.03294	252	206	34	12
6549	I can't recommend it, not for weight loss.	1.2302	0.03097	252	202	42	8
6550	I'm thinking 4 Asp-rin should do the trick... haha, sorry, I couldn't resist!	1.2302	0.03097	252	202	42	8
6551	What really concerns me is your sense of fashion.	1.2301	0.03203	239	192	39	8
6552	You’re lucky he didn’t decide to crawl up your ass.	1.2301	0.03363	239	195	33	11
6553	She only asked me to pet it.	1.2301	0.03203	239	192	39	8
6554	You need to make an appointment with a herpetologist.	1.2301	0.03257	239	193	37	9
6555	I recommend you stop impersonating the AMA symbol.	1.2300	0.03513	213	173	31	9
6556	Shall we start by your taking a deep breath.	1.2299	0.03124	261	211	40	10
6557	Your snake pressure is rather high.	1.2299	0.03028	261	209	44	8
6558	Come to me again in five weeks if the snake does not come off.	1.2298	0.03127	248	199	41	8
6559	Certainly one of the most unusual cases of serpentine ornamentation I have come across.	1.2298	0.03063	235	186	44	5
6560	Have you tried playing a wind instrument?	1.2298	0.03236	235	189	38	8
6561	Feeling life’s pressures?	1.2296	0.03056	257	206	43	8
6562	Looks like your insurance will cover the snake removal, but it won’t cover the fact that you’re a putz.	1.2296	0.03341	257	212	31	14
6563	So your feeling constricted in the chest? Any history of heart disease?	1.2295	0.03263	244	198	36	10
6564	So if you can’t afford the co-pay might I suggest the fire department?	1.2294	0.03384	231	188	33	10
6565	Blood Pressure looks good, LDL is a bit high - no more french fries - and your PSA is in the normal range. Now, about the snake...	1.2294	0.03384	231	188	33	10
6566	I'm writing a prescription for support hose for you, and a tranquilizer for the snake. Anything thing else I can do for you?	1.2294	0.03271	231	186	37	8
6567	I regret to tell you that this will not help you find your Eve.	1.2294	0.03493	231	190	29	12
6568	Take this prescription to Pets and More - have them put the two of you in their rodent cage. That should do the trick..	1.2294	0.03213	231	185	39	7
6569	Say, 'aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"	1.2293	0.03083	266	215	41	10
6570	On the plus side, you won't have to eat again for a year.	1.2292	0.03034	253	202	44	7
6571	I'm ordering an extensive battery of tests to figure out your breathing problem.	1.2292	0.03330	253	208	32	13
6572	I’m sorry but unless you have the Rod of Asclepius he’s just going to stay there.	1.2292	0.03086	253	203	42	8
6573	Most curious. We are still reviewing your chest x-ray.	1.2292	0.03136	253	204	40	9
6574	This can’t keep happening Mr Copperfield.	1.2292	0.03186	253	205	38	10
6575	You might want to just keep it on until the polar vortex goes away.	1.2292	0.03186	253	205	38	10
6576	Maybe try acupuncture for your back instead?	1.2292	0.03191	240	193	39	8
6577	This is a prescription to go home and get a life.	1.2292	0.03136	240	192	41	7
6578	Call me if you experience any side effects such as light-headedness or fainting	1.2292	0.03351	240	196	33	11
6579	I’m not sure if I should refer you to a chest specialist or a vet.	1.2292	0.03351	240	196	33	11
6580	Just relax and take a deep breath.	1.2292	0.03402	240	197	31	12
6581	You may want to reconsider your fashion choices in the future.	1.2292	0.03191	240	193	39	8
6582	You're much smaller in person, Mr. Roberts.	1.2291	0.03017	275	222	43	10
6583	This might sound pithy, but I want you to take two asp and call me tomorrow.	1.2291	0.03188	275	226	35	14
6584	It appears you have a case of the slithers	1.2291	0.03365	227	184	34	9
6585	Now, how many years ago was it that you said you stopped smoking?	1.2290	0.03621	214	176	27	11
6586	So.....this all started with wanting a snakeskin coat	1.2289	0.03116	249	200	41	8
6587	Yes, I understand. It’s like when The New Yorker app won’t automatically keep you logged in.	1.2289	0.03167	249	201	39	9
6588	I'm sorry Mr Jones. We found nothing that could account for the tightness in your chest.	1.2289	0.03218	249	202	37	10
6589	I’ve confirmed that it is indeed a snake and you’re not just excited to see me.	1.2288	0.03168	236	189	40	7
6590	Give him two Xanax and call me in the morning.	1.2288	0.03168	236	189	40	7
6591	I see that your cloning didn’t exactly work out as anticipated.	1.2288	0.03440	236	194	30	12
6592	You're just wrapped too tight. I'm prescribing meditation.	1.2288	0.03279	236	191	36	9
6593	You said you were uncomfortable with the old way...so please turn your head and cough.	1.2288	0.03334	236	192	34	10
6594	PETA approved snake skin jacket	1.2288	0.03224	236	190	38	8
6595	What made you think that Python could solve your IT needs?	1.2288	0.03168	236	189	40	7
6596	So you say you’ve been bound up lately?	1.2288	0.03388	236	193	32	11
6597	Well, I wouldn't say in your case that any love is good love.	1.2287	0.03282	223	179	37	7
6598	Without a doubt the worse case of hemmorroids I've ever seen.	1.2287	0.03238	258	211	35	12
6599	I'm afraid it's caught on to your mousy personality.	1.2287	0.03095	258	208	41	9
6600	And after you said, 'Don't worry, they're not poisonous'"	1.2286	0.03200	245	198	38	9
6601	So you’re feeling extremely wound up?	1.2286	0.03039	245	195	44	6
6602	This will take care of the congestion, but for the contractions you will have to see an obstetrician.	1.2286	0.03200	245	198	38	9
6603	This should help you over come your fear of gophers and rodents.	1.2286	0.03353	245	201	32	12
6604	I'm sorry there is just no shortcut to diet and exercise.	1.2286	0.03147	245	197	40	8
6605	Yeah, they still don't cover python therapy. Tell me the insurance industry isn't controlled by big pharma!	1.2285	0.02980	267	214	45	8
6606	We can squeeze Fred in for anger management therapy at 1:15 on Tuesday if that works for you?	1.2285	0.03118	267	217	39	11
6607	So when did your chest pain and shortness of breath first start?	1.2285	0.03163	267	218	37	12
6608	If you’re home alone, no one will see you naked when you remove your snake.	1.2284	0.03315	232	188	35	9
6609	I’m ordering some routine tests to look into you unexplained weight gain. Is there anything else I can help you with today?	1.2284	0.03142	232	185	41	6
6610	Thought you could take the lab and skip the safety class ?	1.2284	0.03200	232	186	39	7
6611	I think I need some muscle relaxers, doc.	1.2284	0.03426	232	190	31	11
6612	With the recent crackdown on service animals and the poor ratings at the box office, odds aren't good you're going to make your flight.	1.2284	0.03258	232	187	37	8
6613	A few more questions will wrap things up.	1.2283	0.02972	254	202	46	6
6614	Says here, this is the longest you've ever experienced this problem--about 20 feet.	1.2283	0.03174	254	206	38	10
6615	I’m afraid being too charming is not an ailment.”	1.2283	0.03443	219	178	32	9
6616	It seems like you have a staph infection	1.2283	0.03443	219	178	32	9
6617	Perhaps next time try a pet rabbit	1.2283	0.02963	276	222	45	9
6618	It says here you’ve been feeling some pressure from in midsection?	1.2282	0.03286	241	196	35	10
6619	Ok You really seemed to be wrapped up in this relationship.	1.2282	0.03286	241	196	35	10
6620	Don’t worry sir, the male coil is 100% effective.	1.2282	0.03389	241	198	31	12
6621	Well, you definitely have an obstructed person.	1.2282	0.03286	241	196	35	10
6622	This will help you relax. He should just walk away in a couple days.	1.2282	0.03011	241	191	45	5
6623	It says here you''re worried that you lost your right big toenail?	1.2281	0.03239	263	216	34	13
6624	It does not seem to combat the frog in your throat.	1.2281	0.03328	263	218	30	15
6625	This should help with the bloating.	1.2281	0.03102	263	213	40	10
6626	Any idea why your weight has increased so much?	1.2280	0.03105	250	201	41	8
6627	...So when did you start having problems exhaling?	1.2280	0.03256	250	204	35	11
6628	I am writing you a referral to a herpetologist. This is beyond my specialty.	1.2280	0.03053	250	200	43	7
6629	Huggy is an excellent therapy snake for anxiety.	1.2280	0.02945	250	198	47	5
6630	Affection? It’s a gift . . . And a curse.	1.2280	0.03256	250	204	35	11
6631	I've been a little constricted.	1.2279	0.03606	215	177	27	11
6632	So...has the emotional support been positive?	1.2278	0.03375	237	194	32	11
6633	I am quite satisfied with your weight loss, Stuart.	1.2278	0.03375	237	194	32	11
6634	Yeah, some of my other patients have told me that their home scales don't match the ones in our office.	1.2278	0.03156	237	190	40	7
6635	So you just need to sign this and you are off to go"	1.2278	0.03212	237	191	38	8
6636	Oh, I thought you meant feather boa...	1.2278	0.03212	237	191	38	8
6637	Is that a snake or are you just excited to see me?	1.2278	0.03098	237	189	42	6
6638	When did you last go to Florida?	1.2278	0.03084	259	209	41	9
6639	I’m glad you’ve to to a real doctor instead of one of those snake oil salesmen	1.2278	0.03084	259	209	41	9
6640	Makes you long for those gowns with the opening showing your butt.	1.2278	0.03318	259	214	31	14
6641	Try shallow breathing and call me Thursday	1.2276	0.03135	246	198	40	8
6642	Your blood is a bit cold, but everyting else looks fine!	1.2276	0.03082	246	197	42	7
6643	I'm giving you something for that tight feeling in your chest.	1.2276	0.03082	246	197	42	7
6644	Besides your bowels, does anything else feel constricted?	1.2276	0.03188	246	199	38	9
6645	I see the problem. Your chart should say "herpetology".	1.2276	0.03240	246	200	36	10
6646	Hmn. .looks like your pressure's up. Does it run in the family?	1.2276	0.03153	268	219	37	12
6647	So, he said to eat an apple a day...	1.2275	0.03358	233	190	33	10
6648	Not to appear politically incorrect, but I think you’d be better off sticking with fur.	1.2275	0.03302	233	189	35	9
6649	Now tell me again about this choking feeling you're getting.	1.2275	0.03246	233	188	37	8
6650	W'll get the chest x-ray next time.	1.2275	0.03412	233	191	31	11
6651	Sir, I don't know what you've heard but we don't sell snake oil at this clinic.	1.2275	0.03259	255	209	34	12
6652	it says it was 13 inches long when you bought it. when was that?"	1.2275	0.03306	255	210	32	13
6653	Oh, it's B-O-A. Thank God. I thought... well, never mind.	1.2275	0.03212	255	208	36	11
6654	It’s almost always self-limiting.	1.2275	0.02962	255	203	46	6
6655	Again, If you're not in any pain...	1.2275	0.02962	255	203	46	6
6656	This be a classic case of leg envy.	1.2273	0.03326	242	198	33	11
6657	Take this to a snake oil salesman. It should relieve your constriction.	1.2273	0.03112	242	194	41	7
6658	I think that you're too wrapped up in your work. You have to learn how to unwind.	1.2273	0.03057	242	193	43	6
6659	I agree, it's surprising that the snake tracked you down after the President tweeted that you are a "rat". I didn't know reptiles had Twitter accounts.	1.2273	0.03429	220	179	32	9
6660	Interesting approach to the cold wave, but you might do better with a warm-blooded animal.	1.2273	0.03316	264	219	30	15
6661	Young man, I perscribe soft rythmic music twice a day.	1.2273	0.03242	220	176	38	6
6662	A crushing chest pain is most likely to be a heart attack	1.2273	0.03326	242	198	33	11
6663	I'm recommending something to lower your pressure.	1.2273	0.03111	220	174	42	4
6664	I think you’re just fat, but I’ll run some tests.	1.2273	0.03167	242	195	39	8
6665	I know, but you can only use a paper gown once.	1.2271	0.03145	251	203	39	9
6666	The Python squeeze is our newest Cellulite treatment"	1.2271	0.03042	251	201	43	7
6667	Perhaps you should have been more specific about the kind of boa you wanted for your wife.	1.2271	0.03195	251	204	37	10
6668	Obviously, your difficult breathing is caused by your sudden weight gain.	1.2271	0.03245	251	205	35	11
6669	I know, I'm no stylist, but I think we can agree--it's not as slimming as you hoped and more ridiculous-looking than the feather version.	1.2271	0.03338	229	186	34	9
6670	I'm a bit concerned about your recent weight gain.	1.2271	0.03162	229	183	40	6
6671	Do you have asthma? Hypertension?	1.2271	0.03281	229	185	36	8
6672	Come back in a week. We'll remove the snake. You will look like a new man."	1.2271	0.03162	229	183	40	6
6673	Payment for treatment will have to be made 'out of pocket'.	1.2271	0.03569	207	169	29	9
6674	Open wide and say Kaa.	1.2271	0.03296	207	165	37	5
6675	If you're not better by tomorrow, this'll get you in to see a specialist.	1.2269	0.02975	260	208	45	7
6676	”She seems to nave a real crush on you.	1.2269	0.03025	260	209	43	8
6677	Did Monty ever bathe with you before Mr. Jones?	1.2269	0.03309	238	194	34	10
6678	I'm the herpetology resident. What can I do for you?	1.2269	0.03255	238	193	36	9
6679	Go jump in a lake.	1.2269	0.03309	238	194	34	10
6680	Your health is pretty good except for all the anxiety you are carrying	1.2269	0.03530	216	177	29	10
6681	We should probably scale back your hypertension treatment	1.2268	0.03186	269	221	35	13
6682	And stay off planes with snakes.	1.2267	0.03176	247	200	38	9
6683	I’ll need to run some expensive tests to pinpoint the cause of your scaly skin.	1.2267	0.03124	247	199	40	8
6684	‘No need to use a condom’	1.2267	0.03328	247	203	32	12
6685	Karma Mr. DeVito, Karma.	1.2267	0.03124	247	199	40	8
6686	I think we better get a CT Scan to be sure	1.2267	0.03376	225	183	33	9
6687	So, how long have you been noticed this squeezing feeling in your chest?	1.2267	0.03132	225	179	41	5
6688	Remember I warned you alcohol is a vasoconstrictor? The problem has worsened.	1.2267	0.03434	225	184	31	10
6689	And just how long have you had this squeezing sensation in your chest?	1.2266	0.03103	256	207	40	9
6690	We will start you off with a low dose and increase that if the pain gets worse.	1.2266	0.03103	256	207	40	9
6691	Sorry the snake was not very charming, but I'm giving you this prescription to relieve the tension.	1.2266	0.02899	256	203	48	5
6692	Everyone needs a hug but this is not healthy.	1.2266	0.03152	256	208	38	10
6693	The lab tests indicate you are suffering from a rare disease known as petaboa.	1.2266	0.03003	256	205	44	7
6694	I'm writing you a prescription in case he bites you before we can get him safely released back into the wild.	1.2265	0.03289	234	190	35	9
6695	The blood pressure machine is tight today	1.2265	0.03399	234	192	31	11
6696	So you thought it was a feather boa?	1.2265	0.03176	234	188	39	7
6697	Gyre and gimbling in the wabe again?	1.2265	0.03289	234	190	35	9
6698	No, I'm not singing the form, and honestly, don't you find the term 'comfort snake' to be a tad ironic?	1.2263	0.03313	243	199	33	11
6699	Yes,life can be constricting but you don’t have to worry.	1.2263	0.03046	243	194	43	6
6700	I can't decide if you or the snake needs surgery.	1.2263	0.03364	243	200	31	12
6701	First, I'm going to refill your prescription for Oxycontin.	1.2263	0.03313	243	199	33	11
6702	I don't want you to worry. Many of out patients with this live well into their 80's.	1.2263	0.02831	274	218	50	6
6703	I am hard-pressed for time today, so I’ll write you a referral for the herpetologist.	1.2263	0.03014	274	222	42	10
6704	I've just been feeling a little choked up.	1.2262	0.03292	221	178	36	7
6705	A constricted throat is not an uncommon allergic reaction.	1.2262	0.03415	221	180	32	9
6706	Well, I'm prescribing some difficult exercises - you're really going to have to work your asp off!	1.2262	0.03415	221	180	32	9
6707	I've not had this finding with other Emotional Support animals.	1.2262	0.03031	252	202	43	7
6708	To be honest I have never heard of this "Just squeezed Diet"	1.2262	0.03281	252	207	33	12
6709	Do you have any choking symptoms?	1.2261	0.02994	283	230	42	11
6710	These weight loss fads are out of control	1.2261	0.03149	230	184	40	6
6711	Unless one of you has a blood disorder, I think you have the wrong doctor.	1.2261	0.03204	261	214	35	12
6712	How long have you had this constricting chest pain?	1.2261	0.03204	261	214	35	12
6713	Says here you're experiencing sleep paralysis?	1.2259	0.03132	239	192	40	7
6714	I'm writing you a prescription for that elevated pressure.	1.2259	0.03188	239	193	38	8
6715	I'll write you a prescription	1.2259	0.03188	239	193	38	8
6716	So how long has this pet therapy been working?	1.2259	0.03132	239	192	40	7
6717	Your cough seems a bit constricted.	1.2259	0.02903	270	216	47	7
6718	You have worms	1.2257	0.03236	257	211	34	12
6719	‘Alright, turn left and cough’	1.2257	0.03182	226	181	39	6
6720	I have a theory about that tightness in your chest.	1.2257	0.03243	226	182	37	7
6721	My assistant, Mr. Non-Blinky, is now checking your vitals."	1.2257	0.03420	226	185	31	10
6722	Take everything off but your underwear. The doctor will be here in a minute.	1.2256	0.03071	266	216	40	10
6723	Any wheezing?	1.2254	0.03249	244	199	35	10
6724	Now on a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level?	1.2254	0.03352	244	201	31	12
6725	Now don't tell me you just fell on it.	1.2254	0.03197	244	198	37	9
6726	Your insurance requires this as a first treatment.	1.2254	0.03035	244	195	43	6
6727	I should have the cause of your labored breathing wrapped up very soon.	1.2254	0.03300	213	171	36	6
6728	Look at it this way, you have a beautiful snake skin coat that’s PITA approved.	1.2253	0.02915	253	201	47	5
6729	We’ll need to run some tests to figure out why your basal body temperature is so low.	1.2253	0.03122	253	205	39	9
6730	And how long have you been feeling this constriction in your chest?	1.2253	0.03221	253	207	35	11
6731	So, can you think of any reasons why you don't feel comfortable in enclosed or tight spaces?	1.2252	0.03401	222	181	32	9
6732	So you say you’re having trouble breathing, let’s if we can’t figure it out.	1.2252	0.03216	222	178	38	6
6733	When did you start feeling these chest pains?	1.2252	0.03100	262	213	39	10
6734	Yessss, doctor, it hurts when I squeeze him.	1.2251	0.03137	231	185	40	6
6735	It may be able to help with the stiffness in your neck, but it's only a short term solution.	1.2251	0.03077	271	221	39	11
6736	With a few doses of muscle relaxant, I'm sure we can get that pesky mammal out of you, Ms. Conda.	1.2250	0.03176	240	194	38	8
6737	George, I'm just saying that your imagined snake is a metaphor for healthcare costs. Besides, you could stand to loose a few pounds.	1.2250	0.03284	240	196	34	10
6738	Your snake needs to go on a low protein diet. Is there anything else I can help you with?	1.2250	0.03230	240	195	36	9
6739	So, you're saying his jealousy has gotten worse since you've been so wrapped up in your new girlfriend?	1.2250	0.03284	240	196	34	10
6740	I'm afraid you're going to need a snake oil remedy	1.2250	0.03388	240	198	30	12
6741	I'm going to recommend the boas at Oscar de la Renta. I'll think you'll find them less constrictive.	1.2250	0.03064	240	192	42	6
6742	This prescription is for an injection, in case you have trouble swallowing.	1.2250	0.03176	240	194	38	8
6743	Any family history of asthma or exposure to Tuberculosis?	1.2249	0.03304	249	205	32	12
6744	It might be a parasite	1.2249	0.03603	209	172	27	10
6745	When do you find it difficult breathing? Before feeding, during feeding or after feeding?	1.2248	0.03130	258	210	38	10
6746	So what happened after you swiped right?	1.2248	0.03362	258	215	28	15
6747	We expect this study will render the digital rectal exam obsolete.	1.2248	0.02931	258	206	46	6
6748	When it comes to snakeskin, you're supposed to stop with the belt.	1.2247	0.03290	227	184	35	8
6749	I cannot get rid of this constricted feeling. . .	1.2247	0.03290	227	184	35	8
6750	Your next class in exotic dancing will need to be postponed.	1.2246	0.02905	276	222	46	8
6751	You certainly overcame your fear of snakes!	1.2246	0.03152	236	190	39	7
6752	I hate to put the squeeze on you, but Medicare doesn't quite cover your bill.	1.2246	0.03152	236	190	39	7
6753	Well Mr. Crumples, you seem very constricted. What’s got you so wound up?	1.2245	0.03185	245	199	37	9
6754	Have you recently visited South America?	1.2245	0.03078	245	197	41	7
6755	What I said was 'Boy...a colon stricture'	1.2245	0.03024	245	196	43	6
6756	And should I expect any restrictions, Doc?	1.2245	0.03237	245	200	35	10
6757	So you have shortness of breath and feel like the world is constricting around you...anti-depressants will fix you. Next in line.	1.2245	0.02911	245	194	47	4
6758	You may have a warm feeling, but it isn't fuzzy.	1.2243	0.02845	263	209	49	5
6759	Hmm...W59.13XA is the ICD-10 for non-venomous snake crush injury, initial encounter.... So what seems to be the problem?	1.2243	0.03481	214	175	30	9
6760	Your blood pressure's a bit high; let's recheck it after you lose some weight.	1.2243	0.03353	214	173	34	7
6761	Did you think it would regurgitate you at your original weight?	1.2243	0.02977	272	220	43	9
6762	Here's a prescription for two mongoose, to be applied daily. Call my office if there is no improvement within a week.	1.2242	0.03265	223	180	36	7
6763	I think that you misunderstood. I did not say python. I asked you to put your clothes on.	1.2242	0.03387	223	182	32	9
6764	Your bowel movements- how have they been lately?	1.2242	0.03446	223	183	30	10
6765	So, you’re saying this happened when you played a pan flute?	1.2242	0.03561	223	185	26	12
6766	Please don’t bring pets into the exam room.	1.2241	0.03300	232	189	34	9
6767	It’s most likely just a phase.	1.2241	0.03242	232	188	36	8
6768	So these results tell me that you are not currently breathing.	1.2241	0.03184	232	187	38	7
6769	Breathing problem could be the service snake, but we'll run tests	1.2241	0.03324	241	198	32	11
6770	Don't breathe deeply for me!	1.2241	0.03218	241	196	36	9
6771	Your blood vessels are constricted.	1.2241	0.03218	241	196	36	9
6772	and, let me guess... you do not feel any tightness in your legs.	1.2241	0.03053	241	193	42	6
6773	I’m prescribing you clothes. He abhors your naturism.	1.2240	0.03038	250	201	42	7
6774	Actually I recommended you restrict your diet. But this does seem to be working.	1.2240	0.03142	250	203	38	9
6775	Unfortunately, it looks like you have high blood pressure.	1.2240	0.03038	250	201	42	7
6776	Our treatment options are pretty constrictive, but I can at least give you something for the scales.	1.2240	0.03038	250	201	42	7
6777	If you start squeezing today, it should be dead by morning.	1.2240	0.03142	250	203	38	9
6778	So you feel like you're being strangled from the neck to the waist?	1.2240	0.03142	250	203	38	9
6779	Now that's some healthy gut flora.	1.2240	0.03388	250	208	28	14
6780	So the nurse tells me you've been experiencing a tight feeling in your chest lately. We think we might know why.	1.2239	0.03022	259	209	42	8
6781	Says here you may have a pet allergy.	1.2239	0.03022	259	209	42	8
6782	When they told me that you were having a problem removing a boa this is not what I expected	1.2239	0.03096	268	219	38	11
6783	I’m recommending some additional salt in your diet for the low blood pressure and I’ll prescribe a bat and a mouse for your pet so that he leaves you alone.	1.2239	0.02909	268	215	46	7
6784	It's a preventive measure. Spread of STIs has dropped drastically since we implemented this method of male birth control.	1.2238	0.02985	277	225	42	10
6785	And how much gluten would you say you eat?	1.2237	0.03157	228	183	39	6
6786	So,What DO YOU RATE YOUR PAIN, BETWEEN 1 AND 10?	1.2236	0.03306	237	194	33	10
6787	I'm sorry but we had to tighten our billing policy.	1.2236	0.03140	237	191	39	7
6788	Unfortunately, you're health insurance plan doesn't cover boa constriction...	1.2236	0.03140	237	191	39	7
6789	You should start to feel less squeezed in a day or two.	1.2236	0.03196	237	192	37	8
6790	Tight chest, huh? Well, you're not alone.	1.2236	0.03174	246	200	37	9
6791	You should go to the zoo, we deal with constriction here not constrictors	1.2236	0.03225	246	201	35	10
6792	Can we just start with the snake oil?	1.2236	0.02957	246	196	45	5
6793	We see a lot of these cases during polar vortex season... these suckers latch onto anything warm.	1.2236	0.03277	246	202	33	11
6794	Take two aspirin and an apple twice a day.	1.2236	0.03121	246	199	39	8
6795	Given your co-dependency, we should be thankful pre-existing conditions are no longer relevant..."	1.2235	0.03198	255	209	35	11
6796	To think I was most worried about mosquitoes.	1.2235	0.03050	255	206	41	8
6797	It appears that you have the case of the coils	1.2235	0.03198	255	209	35	11
6798	Sorry... you're only covered for snake bits.	1.2235	0.03246	255	210	33	12
6799	At any time recently, have you felt more stress than usual?	1.2232	0.03062	224	178	42	4
6800	I see we get around the fact that you brought your own scales.	1.2232	0.03397	233	192	30	11
6801	Just because the hugs are free, doesn't mean their good.	1.2232	0.03172	233	188	38	7
6802	Your vital signs are good, but I'm concerned about your exposure to an animal rights activist.	1.2231	0.02985	242	193	44	5
6803	According to your chart, Mr. Smythe-Fisk, there is no apparent reason for this tight feeling in your torso.	1.2231	0.03259	242	198	34	10
6804	Looks like you have a history of holding on to things.	1.2231	0.03152	242	196	38	8
6805	And how is your stool? Well formed?	1.2231	0.03152	242	196	38	8
6806	Problem? Heavens No! Boa is my support serpent!	1.2231	0.03152	242	196	38	8
6807	I'm sorry, Mr. Barrett, but your lung capacity seems to have declined since your last appointment.	1.2231	0.03280	251	207	32	12
6808	I’d recommend cutting back on the kundalini yoga.	1.2231	0.03079	251	203	40	8
6809	Runny nose, persistent cough and tightness in the chest? Probably just a seasonal cold.	1.2231	0.03131	251	204	38	9
6810	So--how long have you been feeling pressure in your chest?	1.2231	0.03131	251	204	38	9
6811	We're trying out a new, natural, compression treatment.	1.2231	0.03027	251	202	42	7
6812	Whatever happened to pretending you have a headache?	1.2231	0.03108	260	212	38	10
6813	Whatever's wrong... We'll try to squeeze it out of you.	1.2231	0.03156	260	213	36	11
6814	While this technique will shave pounds off your stomach it does have serious side effects including naseousness and dry, scaly skin.	1.2230	0.02900	269	216	46	7
6815	Before we rule out a heart attack as the cause of the pressure you feel on your chest, my accountant recommends an expensive battery of tests.	1.2227	0.03759	220	186	19	15
6816	It's time you had a colonoscopy so we can diagnose that bowel constriction.	1.2227	0.03380	229	188	31	10
6817	You need anti-lock snakes. They're now a generic.	1.2227	0.03264	229	186	35	8
6818	I feel reasonably certain that your present attire is the root cause of the high blood pressure	1.2227	0.03083	229	183	41	5
6819	So just when did this feeling of abdominal pressure begin?	1.2227	0.03205	229	185	37	7
6820	It's true, your skin does seem quite scaly.	1.2227	0.03205	229	185	37	7
6821	So, how was your Ayahuasca Ceremony?	1.2227	0.03400	238	197	29	12
6822	Yes, I'm afraid choking is one of the side effects of that specific drug.	1.2227	0.03400	238	197	29	12
6823	I’ve seen this before with teenagers. Try giving him his iPhone back.	1.2227	0.03294	238	195	33	10
6824	Get two baboons and call me in the morning.	1.2227	0.03400	238	197	29	12
6825	No, I don't think your python has an attachment disorder.	1.2227	0.03184	238	193	37	8
6826	When did you notice the first time chest tightness?"	1.2227	0.03294	238	195	33	10
6827	I think you can still shed a few pounds	1.2227	0.03110	247	200	39	8
6828	You can get dressed now. It's a wrap.	1.2227	0.03214	247	202	35	10
6829	I'm writing you a scrip for snake oil, so you can slither right out of there.	1.2227	0.03315	247	204	31	12
6830	It says here you've been too wrapped up to focus on your health.	1.2227	0.03002	247	198	43	6
6831	Your blood tests are fine. But I'm waiting to see the snake's report on your pulmonary and cardiac function.	1.2227	0.02989	256	206	43	7
6832	You're constricted emotionally and physically. Your blood pressure is up and so is your weight!	1.2226	0.03002	274	223	41	10
6833	All vital signs are normal. But move? You're dead.	1.2222	0.03145	261	214	36	11
6834	I was standing at the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, just minding my own business, then this happens.	1.2222	0.03086	243	196	40	7
6835	A weighted blanket would be easier to use.	1.2222	0.03042	234	187	42	5
6836	No, shortness of breath is not a symptom of herpes.	1.2222	0.03219	252	207	34	11
6837	If symptoms persist in 48 hours, we'll run some tests.	1.2222	0.03247	243	199	34	10
6838	How long have you had this tight feeling around your chest?	1.2222	0.03170	252	206	36	10
6839	As the nurse explained, Mr. Silverstein, it’s a new experimental blood pressure device.	1.2222	0.03017	252	203	42	7
6840	Have you tried using a moisturizer?	1.2222	0.03274	234	191	34	9
6841	Yeah, got it: shortness of breath, weight gain, tingling toes.. Let's try life without potato chips and see you back here in six months.	1.2222	0.03068	252	204	40	8
6842	Besides looser clothing, I would suggest another change.	1.2222	0.03438	234	194	28	12
6843	You say you're feeling a bit woumd-up?	1.2222	0.03119	270	222	36	12
6844	I'm afraid the x-rays don't shed much light on your shortness of breath.	1.2222	0.03120	252	205	38	9
6845	Hmm-you seemed to have gained some weight since your last visit.	1.2222	0.03452	216	177	30	9
6846	You've caught homo-non-sapiens. In a few weeks you'll be as good as new, Ms Snake.	1.2222	0.03617	207	171	26	10
6847	‘And the pain started when?’	1.2222	0.03141	243	197	38	8
6848	So how is the new "Constrictor Diet" going?	1.2222	0.03120	252	205	38	9
6849	No Mr Bartholemew I really wouldn’t classify this as a severe case of “worms”	1.2222	0.03681	207	172	24	11
6850	Your date of birth, please.	1.2218	0.03058	266	217	39	10
6851	I'm sorry, sir. Marriage counseling isn't my field.	1.2218	0.03029	257	208	41	8
6852	You'll have to take off your scarf for me to examine you.	1.2218	0.02880	248	197	47	4
6853	At least you can get a hug.	1.2218	0.03045	248	200	41	7
6854	This should ease your stiff neck.	1.2218	0.03098	248	201	39	8
6855	OK...so that's 20 minutes, 3 times a day.	1.2218	0.03202	248	203	35	10
6856	This is a first for me. Has it happened before?	1.2218	0.03151	248	202	37	9
6857	Sorry, I only have a snake bite kit.	1.2218	0.03098	248	201	39	8
6858	I'm going to recommend a few yoga studios that allow you to bring pets.	1.2218	0.03045	248	200	41	7
6859	I'm going to prescribe a course of ladders.	1.2218	0.03202	248	203	35	10
6860	You should find another job and resign from that snake pit	1.2218	0.03302	248	205	31	12
6861	You're a syltherin aren't ya	1.2218	0.03438	239	199	27	13
6862	Alright, we're going to start compressions.	1.2218	0.03060	239	192	41	6
6863	So you ordered a feather boa and instead were sent a boa constrictor?	1.2218	0.03060	239	192	41	6
6864	You are practically dead.	1.2217	0.03310	230	188	33	9
6865	If you’re cold I can turn up the heat	1.2217	0.03363	212	172	33	7
6866	Your test results show that it is time to add the second snake. Follow-up tests will show if we need to add the winged hat.	1.2217	0.03663	203	168	25	10
6867	It looks like a textbook case of MCS: Mortal Coils Syndrome."	1.2214	0.03109	271	223	36	12
6868	Please disrobe . . . that includes the boa.	1.2214	0.03359	262	220	26	16
6869	Boy is your face red	1.2214	0.03039	262	213	40	9
6870	Uh Doctor , Is this a new way to take blood pressure?	1.2214	0.02941	262	211	44	7
6871	So Brittany needs her snake back by the nine o'clock show.	1.2214	0.02991	262	212	42	8
6872	Of course it's not fun being terminated, but at least they came through with your COBRA insurance!	1.2213	0.03159	253	207	36	10
6873	So despite all the PSAs and my recommendations, you just went out and caught a case of Herpetology..	1.2213	0.03256	253	209	32	12
6874	That's supposed to be worn open in the back.	1.2213	0.03351	253	211	28	14
6875	I know you like a boa as a fashion accessory, but let me explain something.	1.2213	0.03129	244	198	38	8
6876	so you say your chest feels constricted and you're having trouble breathing.	1.2213	0.03182	244	199	36	9
6877	I'm gonna recommend that you consider a gluten free diet.	1.2213	0.03437	244	204	26	14
6878	Actually, I'm so lonely I envy you.	1.2213	0.03388	244	203	28	13
6879	There is a less intrusive way to check your blood pressure	1.2213	0.03425	235	195	28	12
6880	And how's the new weight-loss supplement working for you	1.2213	0.03090	235	189	40	6
6881	That's a very creative tourniquet, but where's the cut?	1.2213	0.03261	235	192	34	9
6882	And when did you last see the snake oil salesman?	1.2213	0.03371	235	194	30	11
6883	Have you noticed anything unusual beside the apple-craving?	1.2213	0.03205	235	191	36	8
6884	Just a mild sedative to ease the tension.	1.2212	0.03165	226	182	38	6
6885	I see you've changed your health insurance.	1.2210	0.03183	267	221	33	13
6886	Don't worry, we have a drug for everything.	1.2209	0.03190	249	204	35	10
6887	I'm prescribing a special oil.	1.2209	0.03034	249	201	41	7
6888	I believe we've figured out your tightening of the chest problem.	1.2209	0.03139	249	203	37	9
6889	I’ve never treated a boa constrictor for mandigestion.	1.2208	0.03105	240	194	39	7
6890	you said you needed a hug?	1.2208	0.03322	240	198	31	11
6891	So, you ate the apple, realized you were naked, and grabbed a really fancy coat. Problem?	1.2208	0.03239	231	188	35	8
6892	Sorry, you’re gonna have to cancel the act.	1.2208	0.03353	231	190	31	10
6893	I know you wanted to be in Slytherin	1.2207	0.03348	213	173	33	7
6894	Don't worry the bite is not poisonous.	1.2206	0.02918	272	220	44	8
6895	Yes, the symptoms clearly indicate that one or both of you is experiencing a heart attack.	1.2206	0.03372	204	165	33	6
6896	So I have always wanted to say this to a patient, but it's usually inappropriate....Your snake is showing!	1.2205	0.03076	263	215	38	10
6897	I suggest you buy insurance that will cover a back brace which doesn't require feeding.	1.2205	0.03147	254	208	36	10
6898	How long have you been feeling this way?	1.2204	0.03223	245	201	34	10
6899	I know exactly whay you need but, unfortunately, the FDA doesn't let us use snake oil anymore.	1.2204	0.03117	245	199	38	8
6900	Maybe your wallet wasn’t dead.	1.2204	0.03117	245	199	38	8
6901	You'll find that this boutique has a more suitable selection of boas."	1.2204	0.03117	245	199	38	8
6902	Here's a prescription for an addictive amount of opiates.	1.2203	0.03617	236	200	20	16
6903	So I see in your chart that your anaconda does, in fact, want some.	1.2203	0.03193	236	192	36	8
6904	And what did you say this weight loss approach is called?	1.2203	0.03019	236	189	42	5
6905	A good laxative should relieve you of feeling constricted and bound up.	1.2203	0.03304	236	194	32	10
6906	The backless gowns were terrible but, believe it or not, we’ve gotten a fair number of complaints about the anacondas too. Guess there’s no pleasing some people...	1.2203	0.03249	236	193	34	9
6907	Sorry Pal, 'Emotional Support Person' won't hack it.	1.2203	0.03078	236	190	40	6
6908	Well I can see you’re all wrapped up in this snake business	1.2203	0.03304	236	194	32	10
6909	We’re going to have to send you to a specialist.	1.2203	0.03153	227	183	38	6
6910	I’m going to have to refer you to a pulmonologist.	1.2203	0.03333	227	186	32	9
6911	Normally when someone reports those symptoms I would do an EKG, but as a practical matter...	1.2203	0.03090	227	182	40	5
6912	Looks like you’re up to your neck in his anxiety.	1.2203	0.03333	227	186	32	9
6913	We’re gonna have to constrict your diet.	1.2202	0.03297	218	177	34	7
6914	Your iron levels are fine--that rules out anemia. X-rays negative for pneumonia, emphysema, asthma and lung cancer. Allergy tests all negative. Stress test shows heart function is normal. So what could be causing your shortness of breath?	1.2201	0.03083	268	220	37	11
6915	Well, at least you'll lose some weight when it sheds its skin.	1.2201	0.03106	259	212	37	10
6916	I'll go ahead and write you a prescription for your anxiety, but we'll need to refer you to a specialist for the tension in your neck.	1.2200	0.03128	250	204	37	9
6917	So, you were reading your daughter The Jungle Book and then what did you say happened again?	1.2200	0.03023	250	202	41	7
6918	I find myself with something of a Sophie's choice.	1.2200	0.02970	250	201	43	6
6919	I think you have an unusual case of 'full Monty."	1.2200	0.03278	250	207	31	12
6920	This diet may feel a little constricting....	1.2200	0.03179	250	205	35	10
6921	Heh, heh, I can see how it would be hard to change your shirt!	1.2200	0.03076	250	203	39	8
6922	Well there is medicaid and Obamacare, then there is Frappaccinocare and Elon Musk Mars Care but the most expensive is the republican program of I don’t care. However I have determined that this is a preexisting condition so its not covered.	1.2199	0.03412	241	201	27	13
6923	Despite your predicament we still need to check your prostate. Please roll to your side and cough to constrict.	1.2199	0.03093	241	195	39	7
6924	For your legs I'd suggest rattlers.	1.2199	0.03149	241	196	37	8
6925	This script for a tank should help with the constriction.	1.2199	0.03149	241	196	37	8
6926	Not to worry, what you have is simply a variation on the constricted bowel syndrome.	1.2199	0.03257	241	198	33	10
6927	I'm not optimistic about your prospects if you're going to stick with not endangering its life in order to save yours.	1.2198	0.03168	232	188	37	7
6928	..."and the next thing you know he's tweeting that he's responsible for the economic growth. Like, open your eyes, man!"	1.2198	0.03340	232	191	31	10
6929	I said prescription not constriction !	1.2198	0.03284	232	190	33	9
6930	I'm pretty sure it's a tapeworm, but we'll need more tests.	1.2198	0.03396	232	192	29	11
6931	I think we are all feeling a bit suffocated and squeezed... It's Normal!	1.2198	0.03048	232	186	41	5
6932	Thank you for not putting on your gown.	1.2198	0.03284	232	190	33	9
6933	And how long have you had this condition?	1.2197	0.03430	223	184	29	10
6934	It's called the Garden of Eden Curse	1.2197	0.03370	223	183	31	9
6935	Is it "bow tie" or "boa tie"?	1.2197	0.03310	223	182	33	8
6936	Does anything make the pain better or worse?	1.2197	0.03018	264	215	40	9
6937	Breathing medications are apparently ineffective. Let's try a slippery body lotion.	1.2196	0.03200	214	172	37	5
6938	If you're having trouble with your asp, you need to consult a proctologist.	1.2196	0.03327	255	213	28	14
6939	You have seriously elevated blood pressure.	1.2196	0.02933	255	205	44	6
6940	Before we remove the snake, you'll need to spend some time in the decompression chamber.	1.2196	0.03036	255	207	40	8
6941	So... you feel squeezed?	1.2196	0.02985	255	206	42	7
6942	Sorry - it's 'Board Certified' not 'boa certified'	1.2196	0.03233	255	211	32	12
6943	I got tied up.	1.2196	0.03373	255	214	26	15
6944	Mr. Harper, once you remove the external burden, your blood pressure should return to normal.	1.2196	0.02825	255	203	48	4
6945	I am sorry to tell you this, but the test results show you are significantly overweight.	1.2195	0.03159	246	201	36	9
6946	So I’m going to prescribe that the snake start taking Viagra right away.	1.2195	0.03106	246	200	38	8
6947	It says you have pythonitis but to me it looks more like strangulosis.	1.2194	0.03092	278	230	35	13
6948	Yeah, but how many drinks per week do you have?	1.2194	0.03291	237	195	32	10
6949	I'm pretty sure that your insurance company will consider this a preexisting condition.	1.2194	0.03124	237	192	38	7
6950	I'm going to recommend relationship counseling	1.2194	0.03345	237	196	30	11
6951	It is cold in here but that’s the wrong kind of boa	1.2193	0.03201	228	185	36	7
6952	I know I look young- but let’s take off the snake pool float and get started.	1.2192	0.03047	260	212	39	9
6953	Slither down to the pharmacy and give them this.	1.2192	0.02997	260	211	41	8
6954	So, Mr. Warrer, I understand you have shortness of breath.	1.2192	0.03347	219	179	32	8
6955	This is my therapy animal	1.2192	0.03154	219	176	38	5
6956	Are you ready to produce a stool sample for your last test?	1.2192	0.03347	219	179	32	8
6957	just back from Miami I assume	1.2191	0.03117	251	205	37	9
6958	So you say you first started feeling chest constrictions during a jungle visit?	1.2191	0.03167	251	206	35	10
6959	It appears to be some kind of a sssssssssssss-cyst.	1.2191	0.02959	251	202	43	6
6960	Uhmmm...nothing a little exercise and dieting couldn’t cure.	1.2190	0.03399	242	202	27	13
6961	I'm going to prescribe some Oxycontin for the pain and put you on statins.	1.2190	0.03244	242	199	33	10
6962	I prescribe feeding it a lot of mice	1.2190	0.03137	242	197	37	8
6963	No, my plan doesn’t cover snakes.	1.2190	0.03191	242	198	35	9
6964	I’m prescribing an anti-anxiety medication, not for you, but for your serpentine friend.	1.2190	0.03026	242	195	41	6
6965	This seems to be going around here in New York	1.2189	0.03156	233	189	37	7
6966	I know it's cold in here, but I do need you to remove all your clothes.	1.2189	0.03156	233	189	37	7
6967	She really is attached to you!	1.2189	0.02812	265	212	48	5
6968	Most people submitting a caption for this cartoon are saying "You shouldn't get so wrapped up in your work as a snake charmer."	1.2188	0.03125	256	210	36	10
6969	When I suggested you get a cuddly pet I was thinking more of a Bichon Frise.	1.2188	0.03531	224	187	25	12
6970	I'll refer you to hospice.	1.2188	0.03222	256	212	32	12
6971	I think we'll check your PSA and his PSI today.	1.2188	0.03296	224	183	33	8
6972	So we’ve done a full exam. Cut out the apples, try not to breathe, and come back in a week.	1.2188	0.03025	256	208	40	8
6973	Looks like you took quite a fall.	1.2186	0.03199	247	203	34	10
6974	Your surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. In the meantime, this should help relieve the constriction.	1.2186	0.03199	247	203	34	10
6975	All we know is it's not an elephant. I'll just double the potency of your inhaler.	1.2186	0.02986	247	199	42	6
6976	OK. I’ll give you the needle in your asp.	1.2186	0.03449	215	177	29	9
6977	It’s not a benefit under your bronze plan, but there is wraparound coverage available	1.2185	0.02996	238	191	42	5
6978	I'm afraid the constriction you're feeling is psychosomatic.	1.2184	0.03036	261	213	39	9
6979	Congratulations,no asthma! We're still working on what's constriction your chest,though.	1.2184	0.03084	261	214	37	10
6980	Sigh...." More and more people are turning into what they really are."	1.2183	0.03128	229	185	38	6
6981	Extra fiber and prune juice should help unbind you.	1.2183	0.03306	229	188	32	9
6982	No, that Boa doesn't make your butt look bigger.	1.2183	0.03189	229	186	36	7
6983	You're just feeling the deductible.	1.2183	0.03248	229	187	34	8
6984	I see, so you're feeling constricted. Is it possible the problem has emotional roots?	1.2183	0.03306	229	188	32	9
6985	You just get too wrapped up in her.	1.2183	0.03306	229	188	32	9
6986	Where do I send the snake's bill?	1.2183	0.02949	252	203	43	6
6987	Ok, let’s wrap this up.	1.2183	0.02949	252	203	43	6
6988	Look, a lot of people feel up-tight, you just have to relax.	1.2183	0.03105	252	206	37	9
6989	Long story short.... Mamba Italiano, Am I right?	1.2183	0.03054	252	205	39	8
6990	I’m writing a prescription to fix that sense of constriction.	1.2183	0.03002	252	204	41	7
6991	It appears you put on some weight since your last visit.	1.2183	0.02949	252	203	43	6
6992	We’ve had a problem with patients taking medical supplies-	1.2182	0.02748	275	220	50	5
6993	Side effects may include . . . .	1.2181	0.03015	243	196	41	6
6994	Tell me, are you warm or cold now?	1.2181	0.03015	243	196	41	6
6995	No, a laxative won't help that constricted feeling...	1.2181	0.02958	243	195	43	5
6996	Oh this? This is nothing. Last week, I had a guy who was attacked from behind by a gerbil.	1.2181	0.03232	243	200	33	10
6997	So Bob, where are you actually feeling the tightness?	1.2181	0.03179	243	199	35	9
6998	I regret to inform you, Sir-your insurance does not cover poor fashion choices.	1.2180	0.02998	266	217	40	9
6999	So, you think you might have a touch of ringworm?	1.2179	0.03369	234	194	29	11
7000	And when did these feelings constriction begin?	1.2179	0.03258	234	192	33	9
7001	Sorry, hard to diagnose the problem if we can't get your blood pressure.	1.2179	0.03162	257	212	34	11
7002	My diagnosis is "acute acid recoil".	1.2179	0.02964	257	208	42	7
7003	the good news it's not a sore throat...	1.2179	0.02964	257	208	42	7
7004	So you've got two more weeks of boa and then we'll advance you to the gecko stage.	1.2179	0.02856	280	227	45	8
7005	I’m prescribing something to lower your blood pressure.	1.2178	0.03283	225	184	33	8
7006	I'm thinking we should switch you back to C++.	1.2178	0.03343	225	185	31	9
7007	Your BMI is a bit high. Those extra rolls are constricting your heart and lungs.	1.2177	0.03238	248	205	32	11
7008	Well, according to the snake oil salesman in the White House ... "	1.2177	0.03188	248	204	34	10
7009	He needs regular feedings and a vitamin supplement. This will keep him relaxed and you warm.	1.2177	0.03083	248	202	38	8
7010	Sir, I'm afraid we won't be able to cure your lisp problem.	1.2177	0.03136	248	203	36	9
7011	Ok, let’s have you slither down the table and we’ll see if we can find that mouse.	1.2177	0.03052	271	223	37	11
7012	I recommend we give it a heavy dose of muscle relaxers.	1.2176	0.03174	216	174	37	5
7013	My diagnosis is that you’re all choked up.	1.2176	0.03372	239	199	28	12
7014	She says she has separation anxiety.	1.2176	0.03266	239	197	32	10
7015	It's related to a CAT Scan, but this replaces a standard colonoscopy. Now we can get started if you would just open your mouth.	1.2176	0.03266	239	197	32	10
7016	As a herpetologist, it seems you are all wrapped up in your work.	1.2176	0.03043	239	193	40	6
7017	And this hyperthermia began just after you adopted the boa?	1.2176	0.03266	239	197	32	10
7018	Crikey!	1.2176	0.03213	262	218	31	13
7019	Yes, it's a bit cold in here. Why?	1.2176	0.02877	262	211	45	6
7020	Mind if I get a second opinion?	1.2174	0.03054	230	185	40	5
7021	Some of these drugs do constrict your movement.	1.2174	0.03176	230	187	36	7
7022	I prefer you leave your pets at home next time.	1.2174	0.03145	253	208	35	10
7023	For such a large meal, I'd like him to take two of these to prevent any digestive problems.	1.2174	0.03293	230	189	32	9
7024	I'm going to prescribe you an inhaler.	1.2172	0.03114	244	199	37	8
7025	I can recommend a specialist, but it will take a few weeks to get you in.	1.2172	0.02889	244	195	45	4
7026	Ironically, I've found snake oil to do wonders for shortness of breath.	1.2171	0.03054	258	211	38	9
7027	So, when did you first notice this feeling of chest constriction?	1.2170	0.03410	235	196	27	12
7028	What you’ve got there is a real snake in the ass.	1.2170	0.03013	235	189	41	5
7029	Please remember that this weight loss technique is not FDA approved not do we do unwrapping	1.2170	0.03356	235	195	29	11
7030	Mr. Miller, I see from your chart that you have high blood pressure and an almost incapacitating fear of snakes. I wonder if there is any connection.	1.2170	0.03276	212	172	34	6
7031	My educated guess is that your lifestyle choices have become a bit too confining.	1.2170	0.03276	212	172	34	6
7032	It's more common to find one in a boot.	1.2170	0.03539	212	176	26	10
7033	So what's with the Boa...	1.2169	0.03086	272	225	35	12
7034	So, I think if you would let your snake straighten out and stretch a little, he'll be just fine.	1.2169	0.03125	249	204	36	9
7035	I'm referring you to a specialist. Check with your insurance to see if they cover Herpetology.	1.2169	0.03125	249	204	36	9
7036	Just be sure to call your primary if that shortness of breath doesn’t improve over the next couple days	1.2169	0.02910	249	200	44	5
7037	The reptile expert at the zoo said it takes about five minutes.	1.2169	0.03072	249	203	38	8
7038	Yes, we can do the snakescan right in the office, now.	1.2169	0.02854	249	199	46	4
7039	Be careful what you wish for.	1.2169	0.03072	249	203	38	8
7040	Do we have you on statins, yet?	1.2168	0.03209	226	184	35	7
7041	You’re suffering from “Keep your enemies close and your friends closer syndrome.”	1.2168	0.03209	226	184	35	7
7042	I warned you more than once that Snake Oil was dangerous.	1.2167	0.03200	240	197	34	9
7043	There’s nothing physically wrong with you, Harvey. You just seem to be too wrapped up in your problems.	1.2167	0.03089	240	195	38	7
7044	I'm know you're uncomfortable, however your condition is no covered under your current plan.	1.2167	0.03089	240	195	38	7
7045	First, I'd suggest watching what you eat.	1.2167	0.02974	240	193	42	5
7046	It appears that by finally purging the "snakes in your head" you have triggered a new physical symptom.	1.2167	0.03307	240	199	30	11
7047	I don't think an OTC decongestant will help your breathing	1.2165	0.03133	254	209	35	10
7048	I’m Giving you A Month’s Supply of Muscle Relaxers if that Doesn’t Work,Acupuncture!	1.2165	0.03133	254	209	35	10
7049	I suspect you have a mild case of ectoconstrictorsis.	1.2165	0.03032	254	207	39	8
7050	I have just the oil for this, and all your other ailments.	1.2165	0.03083	254	208	37	9
7051	Yours is a rare case caused by the Polar Vortex. I’ve prescribed the steam room to help you both unwind.	1.2165	0.03393	231	192	28	11
7052	About how long have you been feeling cold-blooded?	1.2165	0.03281	231	190	32	9
7053	This is awfully extreme for weight loss. I prefer you watch your diet and exercise.	1.2165	0.03104	231	187	38	6
7054	It sounds like acid reflux, but we may need to run a few more tests.	1.2165	0.03223	231	189	34	8
7055	I don't handle a lot of these, so I'm going to refer you to a herpetologist for another opinion.	1.2165	0.03281	231	190	32	9
7056	Sir, I don’t think our first priority here should be posting a photo of you tagged #pythonwrapchallenge.	1.2163	0.03156	245	201	35	9
7057	Men are often eager to shed unwanted pounds at your age, Mr.Klipstein. How long have the scales felt like your enemy?	1.2163	0.03260	245	203	31	11
7058	Restrain from showering and rigorous movements for the next two days.	1.2162	0.02840	259	208	46	5
7059	Jeez... I said "when's the triathalon" not "then try a python!"	1.2162	0.03180	222	180	36	6
7060	Your chart says you’ve been experiencing some tightness in your chest but can’t seem to wrap your head around what might be causing it.	1.2162	0.02892	259	209	44	6
7061	You’ve got coils, mr. smith. It’s very similar to boils...	1.2162	0.03187	259	215	32	12
7062	Have you seen ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ yet?	1.2162	0.03180	222	180	36	6
7063	Let’s look on the bright side, he hasn’t spotted Eve yet.	1.2161	0.02987	273	224	39	10
7064	Yes I am sure, Mr. Smith, it’s in your head.	1.2161	0.02895	273	222	43	8
7065	Quite an interesting case, this pythonitis	1.2161	0.03177	236	193	35	8
7066	I'm writing you a prescription for high blood pressure.	1.2161	0.03002	236	190	41	5
7067	125 over 85 is a tad too high - probably just caused by the drive over here. We'll test your pressure again in a few minutes with our new eco-friendly sphygmomanometer and see if drops some.	1.2161	0.03396	236	197	27	12
7068	You should have known that's not the kind of boa for a drag ball.	1.2160	0.03215	250	207	32	11
7069	So this says you’ve been feeling constructed and have been having difficulty breathing...	1.2160	0.03113	250	205	36	9
7070	Perhaps not, however, and don't quote me, I have seen impressive outcomes from a shaman.	1.2159	0.03197	227	185	35	7
7071	Mr. Smith, I strongly advise, that until you get a firmer grasp of haute couture accoutrements, you avoid boas and any other items you're unfamiliar with when cross dressing for play or otherwise.	1.2159	0.03316	227	187	31	9
7072	It’s recommended you refrain from vigorous activity as long as you’re feeling this ‘tightness around your chest’ and ‘breathing discomfort’ you describe.	1.2158	0.02963	241	194	42	5
7073	I'm sorry to break it to you so baldly, but you have Acquired Python Vortex Syndrome.	1.2158	0.03133	241	197	36	8
7074	Now,it says here that you were trying to correct your posture?	1.2157	0.03122	255	210	35	10
7075	You thought it was just a very affectionate reptile until today.	1.2157	0.03122	255	210	35	10
7076	I recommend losing some snake	1.2157	0.03204	204	164	36	4
7077	He needs an immediate diet change. Let's stop the white mice and try some pound puppies.	1.2156	0.03193	269	225	30	14
7078	Yes, this will keep you warn, but a fur might be less constricting.	1.2156	0.03214	218	177	35	6
7079	I am going to give you a referral to a great snake oil salesman that I know.	1.2156	0.03528	218	182	25	11
7080	You are keeping her adequately warm for delivering her eggs in about two days	1.2156	0.03343	218	179	31	8
7081	I see, so what seems to be ailing your Main Squeeze today?	1.2156	0.03343	218	179	31	8
7082	Excellent news, Mr. Smith. 123 over 65. How did you do it?	1.2155	0.03324	232	192	30	10
7083	Just get yourself another pet!	1.2154	0.03091	246	201	37	8
7084	Sure, we could give you pills but let's see how you do on the 24/7 hugs first.	1.2154	0.02982	246	199	41	6
7085	You seem pretty wrapped up in your newest companion animal, Mr. Jefferson.	1.2154	0.03299	246	205	29	12
7086	Please stop hissing - I only started here last week.	1.2154	0.02723	260	207	50	3
7087	Your right, it is cold in here.	1.2153	0.03436	209	172	29	8
7088	Next time I suggest you take your wife shopping with you.	1.2152	0.03293	223	183	32	8
7089	So you’ve been feeling tightness throughout your torso?	1.2152	0.03276	237	196	31	10
7090	Took the wrong python class?	1.2152	0.03221	237	195	33	9
7091	How long have you been ashamed of your body?	1.2152	0.03276	237	196	31	10
7092	We'll run some tests to determine why you're having high blood pressure.	1.2151	0.02898	265	215	43	7
7093	You've been so wrapped up in your work, that what...?	1.2150	0.03249	214	174	34	6
7094	Well, you’re under constriction, but you should be finished soon.	1.2149	0.03418	228	190	27	11
7095	So, when did this choking sensation begin?	1.2149	0.03244	228	187	33	8
7096	Are you exercising regularly?	1.2149	0.03229	242	200	32	10
7097	There are easier ways to keep warm.	1.2149	0.03121	242	198	36	8
7098	the good news is i can prescribe something for the tapeworm	1.2149	0.03121	242	198	36	8
7099	She must REALLY love you.	1.2148	0.02854	256	206	45	5
7100	I agree it's more of a manly approach, but you should have stuck with a girdle.	1.2148	0.03160	256	212	33	11
7101	Alright so no cough, no sore throat, and you are sure that you haven't cheated on your wife?	1.2148	0.03061	256	210	37	9
7102	I see you've got Medicare, and for Ana?	1.2148	0.02907	256	207	43	6
7103	I'd say this snake has rendered you armless!	1.2148	0.03061	256	210	37	9
7104	Wow....that is an extremely long penis.	1.2148	0.03111	256	211	35	10
7105	I see this keeps popping up in your medical hisssstory.	1.2148	0.02949	284	234	39	11
7106	So you've had this gripping chest pain for a day?	1.2146	0.03266	219	179	33	7
7107	As your veterinarian my advice is that you switch to a diet with a higher fiber content.	1.2146	0.03311	233	193	30	10
7108	A restriction of the throat you say. Hmmm, any other symtoms?	1.2146	0.03421	233	195	26	12
7109	The test results indicate that your chest is very constricted.	1.2146	0.03421	233	195	26	12
7110	Well, technically, it is keto friendly. . .	1.2146	0.03026	247	201	39	7
7111	Mr. Richards, we went over prevention methods last time you grew the human head and legs.	1.2146	0.03336	247	207	27	13
7112	Here's a prescription for the boa's sore throat.	1.2146	0.03133	247	203	35	9
7113	You seem to be all wrapped up in something.	1.2146	0.02971	247	200	41	6
7114	Just to thorough I'm ordering a cardiac workup.	1.2146	0.03080	247	202	37	8
7115	I’m afraid your insurance doesn’t cover Constrictivitis.	1.2146	0.03165	261	217	32	12
7116	How long has your skin been feeling this way?	1.2143	0.03421	210	173	29	8
7117	Let me guess, you slipped, fell and just LANDED on the snake?	1.2143	0.02979	238	192	41	5
7118	So exactly how long have you felt so rattled?	1.2143	0.02987	252	205	40	7
7119	Glad that you came in today. We have a narrow treatment window.	1.2143	0.03039	252	206	38	8
7120	I'm afraid this is the only treatment for impaction that your plan will cover.	1.2143	0.03096	238	194	37	7
7121	And I see you prefer snakes over ladders...	1.2143	0.03571	224	189	22	13
7122	For constrictions like yours, I generally recommend Ex-Lax.	1.2143	0.02879	252	203	44	5
7123	The good news is that we have a treatment for constrictoritis.	1.2143	0.03091	252	207	36	9
7124	This problem is hard to unwind.	1.2143	0.03155	224	182	36	6
7125	I’ll refer you to a cardiologist for that squeezing feeling around your heart.	1.2143	0.03153	238	195	35	8
7126	I suspect your pain is caused by a conscription.	1.2143	0.03096	238	194	37	7
7127	If you’re feeling contractions, I’m going to recommend you get transferred to our OB.”	1.2143	0.03155	224	182	36	6
7128	A possible side effect is you might feel a little tightness around the middle.	1.2143	0.03487	210	174	27	9
7129	I know PeTA gets in a snit over fur coats, but you should have known they’d disapprove of this as well.	1.2140	0.02994	271	223	38	10
7130	I think you would sleep better if you wore clothes rather than pets.	1.2140	0.03110	243	199	36	8
7131	Luckily, the Bronx Zoo has one of the best herpetology departments in the nation.	1.2140	0.02941	243	196	42	5
7132	So the good news is sleeveless shirts go on sale this week...	1.2140	0.03110	243	199	36	8
7133	Our Python-Squeeze diet appears to be a success. However, there is a note here that your python may be getting hungry...	1.2140	0.03164	243	200	34	9
7134	Congratulations on making it to your penultimate session of exposure therapy.	1.2140	0.02941	243	196	42	5
7135	I’ve never seen a more severe case of Aspergers.	1.2140	0.03055	243	198	38	7
7136	Well, it is a way to lose weight.	1.2140	0.02920	229	183	43	3
7137	So you say you are having trouble taking your meds?	1.2140	0.03290	229	189	31	9
7138	You have a bad case of boa constricivitis.	1.2140	0.03171	229	187	35	7
7139	Natural constriction may be preferential to dieting or surgery, but it too has drawbacks.	1.2140	0.03290	229	189	31	9
7140	Metamucil is fine, but I still think it's more important to focus on your "Boa" constriction.	1.2137	0.02862	262	212	44	6
7141	It appears your airway is constricted.	1.2137	0.02960	248	201	41	6
7142	Yeah, so I’m just going to write you a prescription for Xanax.	1.2137	0.03015	248	202	39	7
7143	Thisssss is a classic case of the middle classssssss being squeezed by health care costsssssss.	1.2137	0.03274	248	207	29	12
7144	I have written a prescription that should help with your sore throat.	1.2137	0.03015	248	202	39	7
7145	We feel it eliminates the uncertainty of which side of the exam gown goes where.	1.2137	0.03121	248	204	35	9
7146	Well Mr Jones, I'd say we need a bit longer with the anaconda, but if you are still doing well, maybe week we can taper off a bit and see how you do with a python.	1.2137	0.03185	234	192	34	8
7147	You're going to need a specialist. Unfortunately,he or she doesn't exist.	1.2137	0.03068	234	190	38	6
7148	No worries. It is a boa restrictor	1.2137	0.03408	234	196	26	12
7149	Lose some weight, get more exercise, and I’ll see you again in six weeks.	1.2137	0.03185	234	192	34	8
7150	Did you try asking him for a little bit of space?	1.2137	0.03354	234	195	28	11
7151	So you're saying the discomfort started during the plane ride?	1.2137	0.03068	234	190	38	6
7152	I think your getting too wrapped up in the ant-fur movement “	1.2136	0.03315	220	181	31	8
7153	We need some tests to get behind the obvious symptoms to the true cause.	1.2136	0.03596	206	172	24	10
7154	Please try to speak up, Mr. Smathers. Now, what were the dates of your last five polio shots?	1.2135	0.02927	267	218	41	8
7155	Okay. Are you allergic to any drugs, pollen, or South American reptiles?”	1.2134	0.02923	253	205	42	6
7156	I’m going to start you on antibiotics; but if you don’t feel better by the end of next week I want you to call my office.	1.2134	0.03180	253	210	32	11
7157	When you said you were having problems with your constrictor I just assumed you had trouble swallowing.	1.2134	0.02814	253	203	46	4
7158	Anyone you would like to invite to the unwinding?	1.2134	0.03080	253	208	36	9
7159	I have an essiental oil for this.	1.2134	0.02976	253	206	40	7
7160	I said, 'Take off your underwear,' sir.	1.2134	0.03084	239	195	37	7
7161	When did you start to feel the constricting chest pain?"	1.2134	0.03141	239	196	35	8
7162	Hi Doctor, I’m still having issues digesting my food.	1.2134	0.03141	239	196	35	8
7163	It’s a side effect of Global Warming.	1.2134	0.03084	239	195	37	7
7164	Breathing problems are common in this season	1.2134	0.03196	239	197	33	9
7165	I would say you have a fifty percent chance of being alive tomorrow.	1.2134	0.03084	239	195	37	7
7166	In a few minutes, the snake will go retrieve the gerbil	1.2133	0.03385	225	187	28	10
7167	"There's lots we can do, OK? I do not think couple's counselling would be our first intervention."	1.2133	0.02758	286	232	47	7
7168	Do you remember when I told you this could be one of the side effects of flirting with Democratic Socialism?	1.2132	0.03279	258	217	27	14
7169	Unfortunately, your insurance won't cover the treatment for your chest constriction.	1.2132	0.03089	258	213	35	10
7170	I drive a Viper too!	1.2131	0.03152	244	201	34	9
7171	So, Mr.Snake, did you say you have indigestion?	1.2131	0.03152	244	201	34	9
7172	I am referring you to a speech pathologist for your strident lisp.	1.2130	0.03353	216	178	30	8
7173	Okay, try this. If you don't feel better in a week, call me.	1.2130	0.03085	216	174	38	4
7174	Sorry, I'm just the physician's assistant, the doctor will be in a just a few more minutes...	1.2129	0.03433	202	166	29	7
7175	That nurse doesn't even know how to spell constriction.... oh, wait.	1.2129	0.03110	249	205	35	9
7176	Just taking a look at your medical hissstory, what brings you in today?	1.2129	0.03212	249	207	31	11
7177	On a scale from 1 to 10, how cozy is it?	1.2129	0.03057	249	204	37	8
7178	Have you thought about Florida?	1.2129	0.03057	249	204	37	8
7179	I see that Charlotte passed "Human Training 101" with flying colors.	1.2128	0.03394	235	197	26	12
7180	I see a severe sore throat and a large constriction in your chest. I suggest a smaller scarf.	1.2128	0.03056	235	191	38	6
7181	I believe the constriction you feel may be snakosomatic.	1.2128	0.03173	235	193	34	8
7182	I would suggest telling the snake some jokes.	1.2128	0.03115	235	192	36	7
7183	Hey, don't worry, its head is still visible!	1.2127	0.03057	268	222	35	11
7184	Getting too wrapped up in your work may be bad for your health.	1.2126	0.02966	254	207	40	7
7185	It says here that he's filling in for your "Main Squeeze" who left you for another man.	1.2126	0.02966	254	207	40	7
7186	so what is your pets name? CUDDLES	1.2126	0.03018	254	208	38	8
7187	Now, as for care and feeding...	1.2126	0.03307	207	169	32	6
7188	I'm afraid there is a lot of this going around. It is nature's way of weening you off info wars.	1.2125	0.03184	240	198	33	9
7189	Well, it's a python so...	1.2125	0.03073	240	196	37	7
7190	This is the greatest amount of tension I've seen in someone!	1.2125	0.02882	273	223	42	8
7191	I see that you are all wrapped up in your pet.	1.2124	0.03253	226	186	32	8
7192	Ok Timmy, looks like you're in a bit of a knot here.	1.2124	0.02979	259	212	39	8
7193	OK...Occupation... "circus snake man." So, what brings you in today, Mr. Jones?	1.2124	0.02825	259	209	45	5
7194	I'd like to see how you do on a restrictive diet.	1.2124	0.03078	259	214	35	10
7195	Well, your allergy symptoms have cleared up...	1.2122	0.02862	245	197	44	4
7196	Mr. Finkle, being constricted by a Boa in generally not considered a good diet plan.	1.2122	0.02920	245	198	42	5
7197	Come back when you are not squeezed for time.	1.2122	0.03087	245	201	36	8
7198	Let's start with the basics: are you taking any medications, or do you have any allergies I need to be made aware of?	1.2122	0.03087	245	201	36	8
7199	Have you been in contact with any reptiles lately?	1.2122	0.03245	245	204	30	11
7200	feeling tied up in knots is a sign of anxiety	1.2122	0.03032	245	200	38	7
7201	The scaly skin is getting worse.	1.2122	0.03193	245	203	32	10
7202	Why do you think you have separation anxiety?	1.2122	0.03025	278	231	35	12
7203	You’re supposed to moisturize after you get out of the shower while your skin is still damp.	1.2121	0.02962	231	186	41	4
7204	prescribing you some painkillers, your medical insurance does not cover Rod of Asclepius removals	1.2121	0.02962	231	186	41	4
7205	I see your ex-wife still doesn't want to let you go.	1.2121	0.03264	231	191	31	9
7206	You have a choice...pay your bill or I'll have my bill collector really put the squeeze on you!	1.2120	0.03150	250	207	33	10
7207	...and have you had any pressure in your chest?	1.2120	0.03098	250	206	35	9
7208	CDC issued a warning this was going around among folks visiting the Everglades.	1.2119	0.03161	236	194	34	8
7209	And for the tightening in the chest, I recommend a good decongestant.	1.2119	0.03103	236	193	36	7
7210	And when did your s-s-symptoms first start?	1.2119	0.03045	236	192	38	6
7211	Hey Doc, this boa is really constricting.	1.2119	0.03161	236	194	34	8
7212	You have not digested this person, since wnen?	1.2119	0.03434	236	199	24	13
7213	No, you’re not the first tourist to be strangled by a snake.	1.2118	0.03108	255	211	34	10
7214	Okay, Mr. Stevens.. it seems you have an unsightly growth!	1.2118	0.03108	255	211	34	10
7215	An accident, right. And I suppose the snake ate your pants first? You see my concern...	1.2118	0.03108	255	211	34	10
7216	Yes, weighted blankets are the new thing for anxiety, but this squeeze approach just might cause it.	1.2117	0.03226	222	182	33	7
7217	But it does keep you warm, is that right?	1.2117	0.03030	222	179	39	4
7218	Have you ever tried inhalers?	1.2117	0.02826	274	223	44	7
7219	I can see you’re already keeping your weight constricted.	1.2116	0.03117	241	198	35	8
7220	Yes it’s the Serpentes diet Just keep it on for 6 weeks It’s the latest craze	1.2116	0.03172	241	199	33	9
7221	So, you think you have high blood pressure.	1.2116	0.03172	241	199	33	9
7222	HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN EXPERIENCENG CHEST PRESSURE?	1.2116	0.03117	241	198	35	8
7223	I think you have a parasite...	1.2116	0.03061	241	197	37	7
7224	Don't worry. This won't hurt a bit.	1.2116	0.03172	241	199	33	9
7225	It seems to be an external restriction of some sort...	1.2116	0.03004	241	196	39	6
7226	I will skip auscultation today	1.2115	0.03068	260	215	35	10
7227	I'm sorry. I can't examine you until you're fully unclothed.	1.2115	0.03431	208	172	28	8
7228	So at what point did you realize the snake oil wasn’t working?	1.2115	0.03117	227	185	36	6
7229	That's not a Turtleneck...	1.2115	0.03240	227	187	32	8
7230	Let me just write you this referral to a specialist.	1.2115	0.03179	227	186	34	7
7231	Based on the battery of tests I ran, you’re in a tight squeeze	1.2115	0.03179	227	186	34	7
7232	This unique condition is beyond my abilities as your physician so I'm writing you a referral to see a Snake Charmer	1.2114	0.03129	246	203	34	9
7233	I can't believe that salesman talked you into fresh. Here's a prescription for bottled.	1.2114	0.03182	246	204	32	10
7234	Any history of crushed vertebrae syndrome in your family?	1.2114	0.03076	246	202	36	8
7235	I'd recommend a wraparound approach.	1.2114	0.03182	246	204	32	10
7236	My ex-wife is really squeezing me for all I'm worth	1.2114	0.03284	246	206	28	12
7237	I'm writing you a prescription to help regulate you boa's	1.2113	0.03029	265	219	36	10
7238	How long have you had this condition?	1.2112	0.03074	232	189	37	6
7239	Looks like we're going to need to aspirate.	1.2112	0.03251	232	192	31	9
7240	You say "constantly being held tight" like it's a bad thing...	1.2112	0.02982	251	205	39	7
7241	He's a real charmer.	1.2112	0.03035	251	206	37	8
7242	Well yes, that probably would help more, but I have a lot of other patients waiting, so here's a prescription for Zoloft.	1.2112	0.03087	251	207	35	9
7243	Mr. Shapiro, I have to say that I have some concern about your weight.	1.2112	0.03087	251	207	35	9
7244	Take a deep breath and hold it when you hear a continuous hissing sound.	1.2112	0.02817	251	202	45	4
7245	As far as Staff of Asclepius cosplay goes, not the worst I've seen	1.2110	0.03128	218	177	36	5
7246	The weighted blankets are on backorder.	1.2110	0.03315	237	198	28	11
7247	You’ll have to unwrap it yourself to sign this emotional support animal application.	1.2110	0.03368	237	199	26	12
7248	I can remove him, but I can’t promise you it won’t damage some scales.	1.2109	0.03097	256	212	34	10
7249	The good news: we have found the cause of your obesity. The bad news: you'll have to consult a vet for the cure.	1.2109	0.02892	256	208	42	6
7250	When was the first time you felt that you're being suffocated by the boa constrictor?	1.2109	0.03047	256	211	36	9
7251	Yes, many of our patients are thrilled with natural alternatives to staunch bleeding.	1.2108	0.03018	223	180	39	4
7252	I would watch "Anaconda" or consult with Lord Voldemort.	1.2108	0.03213	223	183	33	7
7253	When did you start to wear a boa?	1.2107	0.03214	242	201	31	10
7254	Try to get some fresh air.	1.2107	0.03050	242	198	37	7
7255	Well, Mr. Johnson, I have good news, and I have boa news...	1.2107	0.03160	242	200	33	9
7256	In my opinion, as your Vet, there is nothing wrong with your diet.	1.2107	0.03105	261	217	33	11
7257	A tight feeling in your chest? Tell me more.	1.2107	0.03057	261	216	35	10
7258	This is our rattlesnake conversion therapy procedure, required for you to learn how to handle your fear of our President.	1.2107	0.03057	261	216	35	10
7259	Well frankly sir, I don't appreciate your tone.	1.2105	0.02923	266	218	40	8
7260	So you're having trouble breathing...	1.2105	0.03286	228	189	30	9
7261	It’s pretty clear what’s causing the tightness in your chest; however, it should pass when you are swallowed whole.	1.2105	0.03227	228	188	32	8
7262	You seem a little agitated today, oh I'm sorry I interrupted your dinner, I'll come back	1.2105	0.03105	228	186	36	6
7263	We'll be trying a new form of compression therapy on you.	1.2103	0.03024	252	207	37	8
7264	You’re imagining that sense of chest constriction.	1.2103	0.02918	252	205	41	6
7265	It’s the latest treatment - we squeeze out the wheeze.	1.2103	0.03177	252	210	31	11
7266	Snakeskin wraps are so last year, but I ‘ll admit you anyway to our reptile clinic.	1.2103	0.03177	252	210	31	11
7267	So tell me, when did the rattling and hissing begin?	1.2103	0.03127	252	209	33	10
7268	If you feel any pain or tightness in your chest, you should take an aspirin and call 911 immediately.	1.2103	0.03122	233	191	35	7
7269	And for how long have you had the feeling that your throat is constricted?	1.2103	0.03062	233	190	37	6
7270	"There doesn't appear to be anything physically wrong with you. Have you considered speaking to a therapist about anxiety?"	1.2101	0.03135	257	214	32	11
7271	Have you tried a long soak in a hot tub?	1.2101	0.02882	257	209	42	6
7272	It says here your fraternity brothers dared you"	1.2101	0.03248	238	198	30	10
7273	Studies have shown this is better than snake oil.	1.2100	0.03435	219	183	26	10
7274	In Aryuvedic medicine we consider this a kundalini emergency.	1.2099	0.03046	262	217	35	10
7275	I don't have a twin, and, if I did, he certainly wouldn't waltz in here wearing a boa.	1.2099	0.03039	243	199	37	7
7276	She just doesn't like other people seeing me naked.	1.2099	0.03149	243	201	33	9
7277	It seems like your throat is constricting, I have never seen anything like it.	1.2099	0.03255	243	203	29	11
7278	Call us back if he bites. Unfortunately, constriction has to be treated by a vet. Do you happen to have pet insurance?	1.2099	0.03307	243	204	27	12
7279	I see you took the compression recommendation to heart.	1.2098	0.03072	224	182	37	5
7280	And when she told you that you needed to get over your fear of suffocating love, what did you say?	1.2098	0.03382	224	187	27	10
7281	though the stats aren't out yet I think this diet plan shows great promise	1.2098	0.03006	224	181	39	4
7282	Is anything tying you down today?	1.2097	0.02944	248	202	40	6
7283	This prescription should relax you because you seem wrapped a little too tight.	1.2097	0.02999	248	203	38	7
7284	But first, we’ll need your blood pressure.	1.2097	0.03158	248	206	32	10
7285	Yes, they are new gowns. They help us check lung strength.	1.2097	0.03106	248	205	34	9
7286	OK. I'm ready to take your history.	1.2096	0.03331	229	191	28	10
7287	Give the snake two aspirin and call me in the morning.	1.2096	0.03214	229	189	32	8
7288	Life's pressures are often manifold.	1.2096	0.03093	229	187	36	6
7289	No need to fret; it's completely natural.	1.2096	0.02966	229	185	40	4
7290	Your first drag show then?	1.2095	0.02798	253	204	45	4
7291	I see that you have put on some weight since your last visit. So let's talk about the snake in the room.	1.2094	0.03110	234	192	35	7
7292	Your Insurance will cover you but not the snake!	1.2094	0.03282	234	195	29	10
7293	You told the nurse you needed your Seeing Eye Snake with you?	1.2094	0.03282	234	195	29	10
7294	And this is your new boa?	1.2093	0.03026	258	213	36	9
7295	Good news we have a specialist coming in from Hogwarts. Dr. Potter should hopefully be able to talk the snake off you!	1.2093	0.02975	258	212	38	8
7296	Well we know wha it is, the problem is how do we get it to unconstrict	1.2092	0.03068	239	196	36	7
7297	It will take a long time for this mystery to uncurl.	1.2092	0.03125	239	197	34	8
7298	Your new meds may have a side effect - a constricting sensation.	1.2091	0.03083	263	219	33	11
7299	I suggest you find another way to keep warm.	1.2091	0.02570	263	209	53	1
7300	You must quit following every fad diet you hear about!	1.2091	0.02987	263	217	37	9
7301	Yes, you should be on statins.	1.2091	0.02838	263	214	43	6
7302	Based on preliminary tests, I am ruling out attachment syndrome.	1.2091	0.02987	263	217	37	9
7303	Personally, I prefer Alpaca.	1.2091	0.03360	220	183	28	9
7304	Have you tried reducing your stress?	1.2090	0.02971	244	199	39	6
7305	We have several new treatment strategies for anxious pets.	1.2090	0.03027	244	200	37	7
7306	How do you spell your scarf's name?	1.2090	0.03027	244	200	37	7
7307	Have you been feeling any constriction lately?	1.2090	0.03243	244	204	29	11
7308	Blood pressure 600/300. Perfect!	1.2090	0.02998	268	222	36	10
7309	Good news -- it's not Hyperactive Colon Syndrome!	1.2088	0.03297	249	210	26	13
7310	Yes, yes I can clearly see that Sammy reduces your anxiety.	1.2088	0.03147	249	207	32	10
7311	On the upside, you could sweat off a few pounds before bathing suit season.	1.2088	0.02934	249	203	40	6
7312	I see you're a little wrapped up right now; I'll come back later.	1.2088	0.02878	249	202	42	5
7313	I warned you what would happen if you kept using that snake oil.	1.2088	0.03042	249	205	36	8
7314	And when you have shuffled off this mortal coil, we’ll see what dreams may come.	1.2088	0.03147	249	207	32	10
7315	Sit tight Mr. Whitaker. I have an emergency cephalectomy down the hall.	1.2087	0.03318	230	192	28	10
7316	Sure, I can save you - but I can't make any promises about the snake.	1.2087	0.03003	254	209	37	8
7317	He needs to be seen by an exotic companions specialist. Please slither across the hall.	1.2087	0.03003	254	209	37	8
7318	Now let's see........you say you feel tied up and crushed............	1.2087	0.03054	254	210	35	9
7319	I just asked her for a little squeeze...	1.2085	0.03181	211	172	34	5
7320	As your doctor, I simply can't recommend this weight reduction program!	1.2085	0.03251	211	173	32	6
7321	That's pretty ingenious, Mr. Conroy, as you're right: there aren't any compression socks for the body.	1.2085	0.03213	235	195	31	9
7322	When were you in the Florida Everglades last?	1.2085	0.03039	235	192	37	6
7323	His name is Julius Squeezer?	1.2085	0.03379	235	198	25	12
7324	Sir I realize an apple a day didn’t work	1.2085	0.03064	259	215	34	10
7325	...and so Friday isn’t good for a follow-up.	1.2085	0.02914	259	212	40	7
7326	Inhale deeply and hold it. For the next 48 hours.	1.2085	0.03064	259	215	34	10
7327	Says here you are having trouble breathing, get unwrapped and I'll take a look.	1.2083	0.03056	240	197	36	7
7328	Tongue-tied?	1.2083	0.03334	216	179	29	8
7329	Adam, you know what they say about an apple a day? In your case, it's not true.	1.2083	0.02928	264	217	39	8
7330	Your blood pressure seems a little high; what have you been eating?	1.2083	0.03025	264	219	35	10
7331	I think you should have stuck with the raccoon coat.	1.2083	0.03334	216	179	29	8
7332	Yes, I'm afraid it's terminal, but you qualify to be buried at Eden Memorial Park.	1.2083	0.03072	264	220	33	11
7333	Sir, same advice as last year: stop going to Cardi B shows!	1.2082	0.02903	245	199	41	5
7334	Okay, let him go and I'll give you a scrip for the damn opiods.	1.2082	0.03071	245	202	35	8
7335	Recommend you see a specialist for more tests about that tightness in your chest.	1.2082	0.03071	245	202	35	8
7336	Clinically speaking,it is not yet up to your neck.	1.2082	0.02960	245	200	39	6
7337	He'll hopefully become unravelled if we feed him well	1.2082	0.03016	245	201	37	7
7338	I know the choking feeling is uncomfortable, but not to worry, it's due to molt soon!	1.2082	0.03071	245	202	35	8
7339	It says here that you have pre-existing ophidiophobia. Tough luck.	1.2081	0.03284	221	183	30	8
7340	The bad news is there's no record of a therapy python on these premises.	1.2081	0.03090	221	180	36	5
7341	For now, I'm going to prescribe sssomething that's going to help you sssleep	1.2080	0.02977	250	205	38	7
7342	That's what happens when you don't take your entire worms medication.	1.2080	0.03031	250	206	36	8
7343	I’m feeling a bit constricted.	1.2080	0.03083	250	207	34	9
7344	So you think it stems from being wrapped up in those Monty Python episodes?	1.2080	0.03235	226	187	31	8
7345	Your vital signs are normal,except for the sudden weight gain.	1.2080	0.03413	226	190	25	11
7346	While we await your abdominal x-rays, do you have a theory as to why your gerbil-loving python is so interested in you this evening?	1.2080	0.03174	226	186	33	7
7347	If we extract him with the jaws of life it's about 50/50 that he lives if that's important to you.	1.2078	0.02992	255	210	37	8
7348	I assume you are still under your parents policy?	1.2078	0.02940	255	209	39	7
7349	I think it’s a heart attack I feel a tightness in my chest	1.2078	0.02887	255	208	41	6
7350	You know that's not what they mean when they say "Trouser Snake" right?	1.2078	0.03069	231	189	36	6
7351	So you’re saying the snake is warning you not to touch the tree?	1.2078	0.03069	231	189	36	6
7352	Take two ASPrins daily and see me in a month.	1.2077	0.02852	260	212	42	6
7353	Well, the good news is that you don't have VASOconstriction syndrome...	1.2077	0.02852	260	212	42	6
7354	I warned you not to believe that snake oil salesman! Take two Democrats, and call me in the morning.	1.2077	0.03102	260	217	32	11
7355	Nothing unusual but I noticed some weight gain after your vacation	1.2077	0.03004	260	215	36	9
7356	Get me a prescription for an emotional support animal	1.2077	0.03053	260	216	34	10
7357	Of course, I see it. But I must ask. How soon after your return from the honeymoon did it appear?	1.2076	0.02843	236	190	43	3
7358	As I said while snakes can become closely attached to their owners this is carrying it too far!	1.2076	0.03027	236	193	37	6
7359	Nah, this has nothing to do with your missing the vaccination appointment.	1.2076	0.03144	236	195	33	8
7360	You may want to consider to change your pet choice to say a cat or dog.	1.2076	0.02906	236	191	41	4
7361	I'm afraid insurance doesn't cover everything. You'll have to pay for the snake out-of-pocket	1.2075	0.03211	241	201	30	10
7362	So last time we discussed your feather allergy.	1.2075	0.03211	241	201	30	10
7363	Were you in South America or binge-shopping on the internet?"	1.2075	0.02870	241	195	42	4
7364	This is an advancement over using leaches.	1.2075	0.03368	241	204	24	13
7365	Well, Mr. Snake, you seem to have grown some human parts.	1.2074	0.03189	217	178	33	6
7366	Are you currently on any prescription medications?	1.2073	0.02850	275	226	41	8
7367	Can you tell me how long you’ve been experiencing this chest tightness?	1.2072	0.03143	222	182	34	6
7368	How would you say the homeopathic venom treatment is going?	1.2072	0.03020	251	207	36	8
7369	The reason they aren't dying is because you aren't constricting hard enough, which explains why you aren't eating and hence... The weight loss	1.2072	0.03020	251	207	36	8
7370	Does the snake have insurance ?	1.2072	0.03174	251	210	30	11
7371	This ought to help but you really do need to find a less stressful hobby.	1.2070	0.03222	227	188	31	8
7372	So, your constricted bowels, how long have you had them, and any idea what the cause might be?	1.2070	0.03282	227	189	29	9
7373	Looks like an apple allergy.	1.2070	0.03099	227	186	35	6
7374	I'm going to suggest that you try coding in Java.	1.2070	0.03035	227	185	37	5
7375	I feel suffocated in this relationship.	1.2070	0.02823	256	208	43	5
7376	Your inability to take a deep breath indicates a chest infection.	1.2069	0.02995	232	189	38	5
7377	There are better ways to get tight abs.	1.2069	0.02894	261	214	40	7
7378	I'm going to cut back on the dosage of Snake Oil.	1.2069	0.03057	232	190	36	6
7379	You know there are better ways to get thin...	1.2069	0.03117	232	191	34	7
7380	Not everything is worth media exposure.	1.2069	0.03292	232	194	28	10
7381	And then you prefer a green burial?	1.2069	0.03235	232	193	30	9
7382	Don’t tell anybody, but I like it.	1.2068	0.03132	237	196	33	8
7383	Are you having trouble breathing?" - Chris Knight, London, U	1.2068	0.02956	237	193	39	5
7384	Yup,a classic case of boa-constrictive pericarditis.	1.2068	0.03074	237	195	35	7
7385	You seem to be very wound up lately.	1.2067	0.03273	208	171	31	6
7386	I'm going to prescribe that you move to a warmer climate.	1.2066	0.03090	242	200	34	8
7387	Your vital signs are fine. But, call me if you start feeling any aches or pains.	1.2066	0.02918	242	197	40	5
7388	The good news is that you aren't going through a rough patch of claustrophobia.	1.2066	0.02918	242	197	40	5
7389	A squeezing feeling in your chest?	1.2066	0.03034	242	199	36	7
7390	You have to understand that other people don't see you as a Carvel cone and just want to have you committed.	1.2066	0.03291	213	176	30	7
7391	This should help with the inflammation.	1.2065	0.02939	247	202	39	6
7392	Now I understand why you feel like you're up to your neck in things.	1.2065	0.03155	247	206	31	10
7393	It seems to me that Eve had the apple all to herself.	1.2065	0.03049	247	204	35	8
7394	The tightness you feel seems to be asystematic.	1.2065	0.03049	247	204	35	8
7395	From what I can see is that you are emotionally all tied up.	1.2065	0.03049	247	204	35	8
7396	So, I'm seeing here that you're generally constricted in your mid-section...and it started when you logged into Twitter this morning?	1.2064	0.03176	218	179	33	6
7397	Can you tell me about your health hissstory?	1.2064	0.03432	218	183	25	10
7398	Okay, now say “Ahhhhhhhhh!”	1.2063	0.02956	252	207	38	7
7399	So far you're down to 152	1.2063	0.02956	252	207	38	7
7400	We have no idea why your hiccups stop	1.2063	0.02902	252	206	40	6
7401	Now, I understand you tried a novel approach to squeezing a pimple on your back, Mr. Simpson, and it went a little awry?	1.2063	0.03163	252	211	30	11
7402	I'm gonna write you a 'script for the hypertension and asthma, and refer you to a specialist for the scaly skin.	1.2063	0.03112	252	210	32	10
7403	That snake is fucking awesome, bro.	1.2063	0.03163	252	211	30	11
7404	People were complaining that our hospital gowns were less constricting.	1.2063	0.02847	252	205	42	5
7405	I also need you to remove your python scarf.	1.2063	0.03212	252	212	28	12
7406	I see Paul Manafort is selling stuff on ebay to pay his legal bills.	1.2063	0.03318	223	186	28	9
7407	So let me know how you feel in the morning.	1.2063	0.03257	223	185	30	8
7408	I've Given him a triple dose of a muscle relaxent.	1.2063	0.03194	223	184	32	7
7409	I'm sending you in for a series of tests.	1.2062	0.02789	291	240	42	9
7410	It all started with that apple, and the rest is history.	1.2061	0.03209	228	189	31	8
7411	Ever heard that Queen song, "Too much love will kill you?"	1.2061	0.03023	228	186	37	5
7412	I'm going to need you to breathe deep, I don't care if it feels constricting.	1.2061	0.02934	262	216	38	8
7413	It’s a rare affliction - pythonitis	1.2061	0.02727	262	212	46	4
7414	You do seem rather wound up. I'll order a tranquilizer for you to try.	1.2060	0.02983	233	190	38	5
7415	OK - So you're feeling all wound up - Do you have regular BMs?	1.2060	0.03045	233	191	36	6
7416	Name of patient and date of birth ?	1.2060	0.03164	233	193	32	8
7417	Says here your feeling constipated.	1.2059	0.03120	238	197	33	8
7418	We find that patients who value a holelitic lifestyle appreciate our blood pressure test.	1.2059	0.03004	238	195	37	6
7419	I'm not sure a little blue pill is going to fix your problem.	1.2059	0.03176	238	198	31	9
7420	We're a bit squeezed for time today!	1.2059	0.02884	238	193	41	4
7421	Sammy Slither is here to entertain my younger patients, Clyde. You need to uncoil yourself and put on the robe so I can examine you.	1.2059	0.03004	238	195	37	6
7422	Feeling of constriction isn't inside the chest?	1.2059	0.03176	238	198	31	9
7423	Did you press charges?	1.2059	0.03004	238	195	37	6
7424	Sorry but I’ll have to refer you to a specialist, I’m just a general practitioner.	1.2058	0.02907	243	198	40	5
7425	1. You were supposed to wear a johnnie 2.It appears you are under a great deal of pressure 3.I recommend three white mice in the morning 4. Well now, that about wraps it up	1.2058	0.03078	243	201	34	8
7426	Your arteries, like your ability to charm, appear constricted.	1.2056	0.03143	248	207	31	10
7427	I'm writing you a prescription for Nosnakecil.	1.2056	0.03143	248	207	31	10
7428	You've been diagnosed with mesothelioma.	1.2055	0.02998	253	209	36	8
7429	Besides feeling constricted, do you have any other symptoms that may indicate being wrapped up in a snake?	1.2055	0.03101	253	211	32	10
7430	Sorry, I'm a Podiatrist. Did you try calling Pets-R-Us ?	1.2055	0.03355	219	183	27	9
7431	I don't understand it. It says here you're suffering from severe constriction.	1.2054	0.03011	258	214	35	9
7432	I am going to put your pet on a higher calorie diet.	1.2054	0.03118	224	184	34	6
7433	When I told you to bring in your main squeeze to talk about your STD, I presumed they would not be completely cold-blooded about it!	1.2054	0.03305	224	187	28	9
7434	I'm at a loss to explain your high blood pressure ...	1.2054	0.02987	224	182	38	4
7435	Unfortunately the patient who complained about our comfort boa is no longer with us.	1.2053	0.03116	263	221	30	12
7436	Your wife and I have been seeing each other for quite some time. But don't worry,it will all be over for you soon.	1.2053	0.03069	263	220	32	11
7437	Yes, we’re going to the all natural hospital gown.	1.2052	0.03075	229	188	35	6
7438	I'm still a little concerned about your cholesterol. Like I said last year, you need to stick to small mammals.	1.2052	0.03197	229	190	31	8
7439	I am recommending a trainer for your pet.	1.2052	0.03075	229	188	35	6
7440	On the bright side, you get a snakeskin jacket out of this.	1.2051	0.03266	234	196	28	10
7441	I submit to your claim that you have cold feet.	1.2050	0.03051	239	197	35	7
7442	Your lungs are clear. I can’t understand why you’re having trouble breathing. It could be your outfit. I think we’ll ask for a psych consult if you feel that constricted.	1.2050	0.03108	239	198	33	8
7443	I can give you something for the discomfort.	1.2050	0.03108	239	198	33	8
7444	You may have noticed some constrictions.	1.2050	0.03051	239	197	35	7
7445	I think we're making progress with the antidepressants. Especially with your indication of feelings of being intertwined and engulfed.	1.2050	0.03274	239	201	27	11
7446	Well, I guess, not all of Marvel's superhero ideas are perfect.	1.2050	0.02993	239	196	37	6
7447	Take off your boa. How are our cramps doing.	1.2049	0.03011	244	201	36	7
7448	If wool is still an irritant stick to the snake	1.2049	0.02897	244	199	40	5
7449	Sorry about the wait, my alligator needed a snack.	1.2049	0.02954	244	200	38	6
7450	Are you allergic to any prescription medications?	1.2049	0.03011	244	201	36	7
7451	At least it won't be prolonged.	1.2049	0.03066	244	202	34	8
7452	And I have trouble swallowing.	1.2048	0.02972	249	205	37	7
7453	I thought she said feather boa, not her boa named Feather.	1.2048	0.03026	249	206	35	8
7454	I'll schedule a few lab tests and we'll get to the bottom of your constricted feeling in no time.	1.2048	0.03173	210	172	33	5
7455	So you feel as if a snake is pressing on your chest, not an elephant?	1.2048	0.03449	210	176	25	9
7456	So you were reading "The Little Prince" and then...	1.2047	0.02935	254	209	38	7
7457	Congratulations on your continuing existence. The over/under for survival is maybe ten minutes.	1.2047	0.02935	254	209	38	7
7458	That apple doesn’t keep the doctor away	1.2046	0.02950	259	214	37	8
7459	First of all, we need to talk about this scarf.	1.2046	0.03000	259	215	35	9
7460	Hold on, when was your last PSA test?	1.2044	0.03230	225	187	30	8
7461	That's one hell of a tapeworm you have there buddy.	1.2044	0.03410	225	190	24	11
7462	Crushing chest pain" suggests to me that you're having a heart attack.	1.2043	0.03062	230	189	35	6
7463	Look...we've been through this before. YOU have to take the pills, not him.	1.2043	0.03301	230	193	27	10
7464	Can you stick out your tongue and say ahh...	1.2043	0.02835	235	190	42	3
7465	What was the last thing you ate before feeling the tightness in your throat?	1.2043	0.03253	235	197	28	10
7466	If I need to reach you... how can I get a hold of you?	1.2043	0.03197	235	196	30	9
7467	How long have you had this crushing chest pain for?	1.2043	0.03253	235	197	28	10
7468	This is beyond my expertise. I'm referring you to a herpetologist.	1.2042	0.02982	240	197	37	6
7469	Your weight reduction program does have merit	1.2042	0.02862	240	195	41	4
7470	So Mr Jones, you slipped in the shower.	1.2042	0.03096	240	199	33	8
7471	I know of a clinical trial that may help	1.2042	0.03040	240	198	35	7
7472	I’m going to prescribe Advil and a muscle relaxant.	1.2042	0.03207	240	201	29	10
7473	Does this boa make me look fat?	1.2041	0.03318	245	208	24	13
7474	We'll need to do a CT scan to investigate the cause of the constrictions.	1.2041	0.03215	245	206	28	11
7475	There are, indeed, safer, more effective ways to eliminate excess weight and fat shaming.	1.2041	0.03109	245	204	32	9
7476	I see that the snake got Eve, too.	1.2040	0.03015	250	207	35	8
7477	Don’t worry, the Emergency Room will know what to do.	1.2040	0.02961	250	206	37	7
7478	I would recommend losing some weight.	1.2040	0.02794	250	203	43	4
7479	I'm glad to see you're ASPirational about your health, though you had me rattled at first!	1.2040	0.03015	250	207	35	8
7480	The good news is that you are past your best-by date.	1.2040	0.02961	250	206	37	7
7481	It's a large meal, but two of these should help him avoid digestive trouble.	1.2039	0.02977	255	211	36	8
7482	Well, this one's way over my pay grade. I'm calling in Professor Babu, the eminent fakir.	1.2039	0.03079	255	213	32	10
7483	We just neee to wait for the chamber to open again	1.2038	0.03039	260	217	33	10
7484	Vertebrae 126-288 are nicely softened. Come back tomorrow and we will start unwrapping	1.2038	0.02837	260	213	41	6
7485	Are you comfortable or just feeling overwhelmed?	1.2037	0.03315	216	180	28	8
7486	Have you tried the inhaler I prescribed last time?	1.2036	0.03328	221	185	27	9
7487	Are you on any Medication?	1.2036	0.03070	221	181	35	5
7488	He's not exactly a 'narrow fellow in the grass,' is he?	1.2035	0.03337	226	190	26	10
7489	But it should't constrict your diet.	1.2035	0.03278	226	189	28	9
7490	Asclepius recommends this treatment.	1.2035	0.03171	231	192	31	8
7491	Python for your thoughts.	1.2035	0.03288	231	194	27	10
7492	So, you got into the pet taxi and then what happened.	1.2035	0.03171	231	192	31	8
7493	I believe you need a bit more charm	1.2035	0.02924	231	188	39	4
7494	If it’s not a pain, please rate the scales from 1 to 10.	1.2034	0.03069	236	195	34	7
7495	Possessiveness is not love.	1.2034	0.03010	236	194	36	6
7496	Sir, if you’d just let me finish my exam then we’d both be out of here much faster.	1.2033	0.03028	241	199	35	7
7497	Now, have you tried some deep breathing?	1.2033	0.02876	246	201	40	5
7498	You thought it would be just like Harry Potter?	1.2033	0.03044	246	204	34	8
7499	I feel so constricted!	1.2033	0.02817	246	200	42	4
7500	I’m just feeling a bit suffocated by this relationship.	1.2033	0.03255	246	208	26	12
7501	Have you always played with your food?	1.2032	0.02951	251	207	37	7
7502	Surgery can't be scheduled until next Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm prescribing two Monte Python's a day to get you through this.	1.2032	0.03004	251	208	35	8
7503	It'll probably kill you but I must admit it has a certain savoir faire!	1.2032	0.02726	251	203	45	3
7504	You may be a charming person Mr. Slink. However, next time I suggest that you charm something else.	1.2032	0.02784	251	204	43	4
7505	I see you have been trying the boa constrictor diet.	1.2031	0.02914	256	211	38	7
7506	Stick to enjoying your Samuel L Jackson thrillers in 2D.	1.2031	0.02914	256	211	38	7
7507	Viagra might cause chest pains and shortness of breath	1.2031	0.03068	256	214	32	10
7508	I see you've been snooping in the cupboards.	1.2030	0.03371	197	163	28	6
7509	IBS is more common than you think	1.2030	0.02691	266	216	46	4
7510	These new waist-slimming fads are getting a bit ridiculous.	1.2030	0.02583	266	214	50	2
7511	It says here that you're both experiencing pain in your lower back and spine.	1.2030	0.02860	271	224	39	8
7512	Gerbils and hamsters sure, but never anything like this.	1.2028	0.03146	212	174	33	5
7513	This wouldn't have happened if you put the robe on.	1.2027	0.03188	222	184	31	7
7514	We can say for sure it is not a skin condition.	1.2026	0.03080	227	187	34	6
7515	Your feeling of being constricted will require more labs.	1.2026	0.03204	227	189	30	8
7516	Sir, the tightness in your chest and abdomen is puzzling. Test results including a CT scan and endoscopy are completely normal.	1.2026	0.03159	232	193	31	8
7517	New from accounting. They call him the "payment squeezer." Then we get to your ailment.	1.2026	0.02976	232	190	37	5
7518	I'm going to prescribe you something for that eczema.	1.2026	0.02913	232	189	39	4
7519	While not ruling out the invisible constrictor, can I ask you if you're taking the anxiety prescription on schedule?	1.2025	0.03172	237	198	30	9
7520	It's emotional!	1.2025	0.03337	237	201	24	12
7521	Far East medicines answer to constipation requires no drugs and what’s better is you’ll lose the extra 15 pounds you’ve been struggling with.	1.2025	0.03115	237	197	32	8
7522	Snake-oil salesmen shouldn't get so wrapped up in their work.	1.2025	0.03017	242	200	35	7
7523	Oh Why? Oh Why? Would you swallow a fly?	1.2025	0.03183	242	203	29	10
7524	It is still mostly water weight.	1.2025	0.02901	242	198	39	5
7525	It should pass in a couple days.	1.2025	0.03073	242	201	33	8
7526	I just felt like my life unraveling, Doc.	1.2025	0.02959	242	199	37	6
7527	Sorry, there’s nothing I can do. We don’t work with your insurance company.	1.2025	0.03073	242	201	33	8
7528	It looks like you've been coiled again.	1.2024	0.02865	247	202	40	5
7529	I think you get too wrapped up in your work as a veterinarian.	1.2024	0.03086	247	206	32	9
7530	I understand your overcompensation, but you have chosen the wrong species.	1.2023	0.03057	257	215	32	10
7531	I'm prescribing a muscle relaxant for your lung congestion.	1.2023	0.02956	257	213	36	8
7532	Looks like a classic case of asthma to me	1.2023	0.03018	262	219	33	10
7533	Nothing physically wrong with you but perhaps you're a bit uptight.	1.2023	0.02765	262	214	43	5
7534	Once the snake sheds its skin you will be in tip top shape.	1.2023	0.02969	262	218	35	9
7535	Sammy is my security blanket.	1.2022	0.02850	272	225	39	8
7536	Frank, I'll be honest with you; your 'snake-girdle' isn't doing you any favors.	1.2022	0.02770	277	228	42	7
7537	If I were you I'd just do a cake for your next gender reveal.	1.2018	0.03175	223	185	31	7
7538	Let me get this straight - our colonoscopy team found it and it won't let you go?"	1.2018	0.03238	223	186	29	8
7539	Your pet python is not a substitute for Spanx.	1.2018	0.03252	228	191	28	9
7540	It appears the pharmacist missed the word “feather”.	1.2018	0.03252	228	191	28	9
7541	I will prescribe you a boa decongestant. It should start working in about 24 hours.	1.2017	0.03027	233	192	35	6
7542	It could just be stress. Take this anti-anxiety medicine and let me know in a month is you're still feeling squeezed.	1.2017	0.03318	233	197	25	11
7543	No venom from the puncture leads us to conclude it's a rare form of inter-species sexual attraction.	1.2017	0.02927	238	195	38	5
7544	Do you have a PPO or HMO?	1.2017	0.03046	238	197	34	7
7545	Yes, well there's a lot them going around.	1.2016	0.03117	243	203	31	9
7546	So, apply the snake three times a day and call me if you have any questions.	1.2016	0.03117	243	203	31	9
7547	Ok, let's wrap things up in here.	1.2016	0.03062	243	202	33	8
7548	It says here you are a Snake Charmer	1.2016	0.02911	248	204	38	6
7549	I think they meant you should wear a scarf when you go outside during the polar vortex.	1.2016	0.03230	248	210	26	12
7550	A typical side-effect of the apple diet.	1.2016	0.02821	253	207	41	5
7551	Congrats on quitting smoking and getting more exercise.	1.2016	0.02821	253	207	41	5
7552	So, you were airing Ralph, here, and you fell asleep...	1.2016	0.02876	253	208	39	6
7553	I'm sorry, Mrs. Slither, your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing human conditions.	1.2016	0.03046	258	216	32	10
7554	Change your diet, it is too constricted	1.2016	0.02945	258	214	36	8
7555	Your bloodwork does not indicate the cause of your stomach pain. I am referring you to a gastro specialist.	1.2016	0.02894	258	213	38	7
7556	Feed once a week and keep her calm.”	1.2009	0.03189	214	177	31	6
7557	I think you’re overcompensating on your fear of snakes	1.2009	0.03239	229	192	28	9
7558	PA: What seems to be the problem?	1.2009	0.03249	234	197	27	10
7559	I can see the tapeworm meds have not been working very well.	1.2009	0.03192	234	196	29	9
7560	You know, snake oil is grossly underrated.	1.2009	0.03075	234	194	33	7
7561	Have you ever been diagnosed with anxiety?	1.2009	0.03075	234	194	33	7
7562	I am confident with modern medical technology that we will be able get to the bottom of your chest tightness.	1.2008	0.03203	239	201	28	10
7563	At least twice a day make several sharp counterclockwise spins and stops until you free your self	1.2008	0.02975	239	197	36	6
7564	Not what I would recommend to lose weight.	1.2008	0.02937	244	201	37	6
7565	You could try talking to it but then you'd need to know Python.	1.2008	0.02937	244	201	37	6
7566	Well, so far you're doing fine.	1.2008	0.03159	244	205	29	10
7567	I'm afraid your test has come back possssssssssitive.	1.2008	0.03105	244	204	31	9
7568	Well, on the positive side we can take your blood pressure using your legs...	1.2008	0.03168	249	210	28	11
7569	...alas...medical insurance, just like Judaism and Christianity, has trouble with preexisting conditions...	1.2008	0.02956	249	206	36	7
7570	It looks like you didn’t follow our orders advising you against binge-watching Monty Python classics.	1.2008	0.03075	254	213	31	10
7571	I'm prescribing a diuretic for hypertension and you might work on reducing your stress as well.	1.2008	0.02935	259	215	36	8
7572	So, you say you’re feeling tightly wound these days.	1.2008	0.02997	264	221	33	10
7573	It constricts when I pee.	1.2007	0.03006	269	226	32	11
7574	--- and other side effects as well.	1.2007	0.02924	274	229	35	10
7575	Have you considered de-couple therapy?	1.2000	0.02789	265	218	41	6
7576	So seems to be the problem, sir?	1.2000	0.03106	230	191	32	7
7577	Well, it was advertised as a feather boa...	1.2000	0.03333	225	190	25	10
7578	My recommendation is for you consider a wardrobe selection that does not include a boa.	1.2000	0.02745	255	208	43	4
7579	So have you been feeling constricted mentally?	1.2000	0.03039	245	204	33	8
7580	I see... the snake was included your VIP SurgiTourism Gastric Band/Elephant Trekking package.	1.2000	0.03080	240	200	32	8
7581	It’s a little extreme but you’re ten pounds lighter since this morning.	1.2000	0.02810	245	200	41	4
7582	I think you should delete your Facebook account immediately.	1.2000	0.03180	235	197	29	9
7583	Sorry our vet is out of the office today so just rest and drink fluids and come back tomorrow	1.2000	0.03052	250	209	32	9
7584	Maybe lay off the middle-aged men next time	1.2000	0.02964	240	198	36	6
7585	Definitely not Peyronie's.	1.2000	0.03013	255	213	33	9
7586	Well no, I'm not a herpetologist, but next time you've got an STD you can give me a call.	1.2000	0.03105	250	210	30	10
7587	I'd rather go with, 'he really likes you,' rather than...	1.2000	0.03310	215	180	27	8
7588	You're wrapped too tightly.	1.2000	0.03106	230	191	32	7
7589	...and how did you wind up with the boa?	1.2000	0.03303	245	209	23	13
7590	Anorexia isn't a disease, it's a symptom. Don't force feed, reduce stress and Fluffy will be just fine.	1.2000	0.02999	250	208	34	8
7591	I’m referring to you to a friend of mine, best charmer in the village!	1.2000	0.02964	240	198	36	6
7592	Have you tried antidepressants?	1.2000	0.03073	260	219	30	11
7593	Your constricted colon has gotten worse.	1.2000	0.03064	255	214	31	10
7594	We try to squeeze every penny we can out of our patients.	1.2000	0.03136	240	201	30	9
7595	If there's no significant improvement by Friday, go ahead and increase the Flexeril to 4 times a day.	1.2000	0.02821	260	214	40	6
7596	Hmm. That feeling of pressure on your chest could indicate a heart attack.	1.2000	0.02983	245	203	35	7
7597	We wanted something a little more form fitting than the traditional hospital gown.	1.2000	0.03093	245	205	31	9
7598	I'm less concerned about the snake, Mr Hobnerts, than I am about the 2 bushel of apples you're eating per week.	1.2000	0.03080	240	200	32	8
7599	Well, Mr. Adams, the snake says it's payback for eating the apple.	1.2000	0.02890	250	206	38	6
7600	Well, let's say it's "Paleo-esque."	1.1993	0.02781	281	233	40	8
7601	Your vitals look great. No need for a follow-up unless there's a change to the status quo.	1.1992	0.03161	266	227	25	14
7602	Sorry to say that insurance does not cover free hugs!	1.1992	0.02914	261	217	36	8
7603	There's nothing wrong with your feet, Mr. Snake-Torso, you can get dressed.	1.1992	0.02965	261	218	34	9
7604	It looks like you have snake-wrapped-around-your-neck-itis.	1.1992	0.03152	256	217	27	12
7605	Besides making a complete Asp of yourself, it's been awhile, what else you've been up to lately ?	1.1992	0.02988	251	209	34	8
7606	You have a very unusual skin condition, and I'm going to refer you to a dermatologist.	1.1992	0.02880	251	207	38	6
7607	I have your lab tests back and it seems that unfortunately this route did not yield the results we hoped for.	1.1992	0.02740	246	200	43	3
7608	Oh, you want a favorable prognosis? Go see a veterinarian.	1.1992	0.03082	246	206	31	9
7609	I’m afraid your insurance isn’t going to cover this, sir.	1.1992	0.02800	246	201	41	4
7610	Look sir, i know Dr. Oz said that heart attack pain feels like a constricting pain around the chest but...	1.1992	0.03011	241	200	34	7
7611	I'd cool my affection for snakes for a bit...	1.1992	0.03124	241	202	30	9
7612	Is that all your in here for?	1.1992	0.03068	241	201	32	8
7613	So where's the albatross?	1.1992	0.02992	236	195	35	6
7614	Have you considered trying a hug machine instead?	1.1992	0.03051	236	196	33	7
7615	you are sick	1.1992	0.03110	236	197	31	8
7616	You'll have to sign this waiver before I can treat you.	1.1992	0.03279	236	200	25	11
7617	I'm not really happy about your weight gain.	1.1991	0.03213	231	194	28	9
7618	Must you insist on giving me the Full Monty every time?	1.1991	0.03093	231	192	32	7
7619	Now, I need you to say aahhh...	1.1991	0.03117	221	183	32	6
7620	We'll have this wrapped up in a moment.	1.1991	0.03117	221	183	32	6
7621	Your skin condition could be helped with a good moisturizer!	1.1990	0.03110	206	169	33	4
7622	Restrictive, constricted...same diff.	1.1990	0.03401	206	173	25	8
7623	I’m sorry but this isn’t covered by your PPO.	1.1985	0.02930	272	228	34	10
7624	Your weight loss should go easier now.	1.1985	0.02869	267	222	37	8
7625	You wouldn't survive the surgery.	1.1985	0.02904	262	218	36	8
7626	Now, are you feeling any tightness in your chest today?	1.1985	0.02802	262	216	40	6
7627	I am sending you to a dermatologist.That growth should be checked out.	1.1985	0.02749	262	215	42	5
7628	I can give you something for the anxiety but I wouldn’t worry. Everyone is losing their grip these days.	1.1984	0.02888	257	213	37	7
7629	Tryouts for the new HBO series, the next floor, above.	1.1984	0.02924	252	209	36	7
7630	The python on your back swallowed the monkey on your back.	1.1984	0.03030	252	211	32	9
7631	Nice Eve costume.	1.1984	0.03070	247	207	31	9
7632	The next time somebody dares you to jump into the pool wearing your inflatable snake, I would advise you to think twice about it . . .	1.1984	0.03016	247	206	33	8
7633	Yet another victim of the old flotation device disguise trick.	1.1983	0.03112	242	203	30	9
7634	Have you considered going gluten-free?	1.1983	0.02942	242	200	36	6
7635	So what's got you all coiled up?	1.1983	0.02980	237	196	35	6
7636	I see that your boa constrictor has developed quite the tongue.	1.1983	0.03098	237	198	31	8
7637	This is the best treatment I know for getting rid of that ugly belly fat, Mr. Smith.	1.1983	0.03040	237	197	33	7
7638	At least put your gown back on	1.1983	0.02980	237	196	35	6
7639	Patients tell us that Bo provides warmth and various levels of modesty and pain relief.	1.1983	0.02958	232	191	36	5
7640	This is the most accurate tech we have for taking your blood pressure.	1.1983	0.03020	232	192	34	6
7641	Dad said going to veterinary school wasn't a good idea.	1.1983	0.03200	232	195	28	9
7642	This is how we treat constricted bowels.	1.1983	0.02958	232	191	36	5
7643	I'm a big Monty Python too, Mr. Evans, but I think you're taking this a bit too far.	1.1982	0.03295	222	187	26	9
7644	I’d like to get your coil number down.	1.1982	0.03081	217	179	33	5
7645	So you say you fell a tightness, a constriction all over your body?	1.1982	0.02939	217	177	37	3
7646	Say “Ah” please.	1.1982	0.03149	217	180	31	6
7647	So aside for the huggy-huggy feeling, do you have any other reactions?	1.1981	0.03244	207	172	29	6
7648	The oil should start to work in about two days.	1.1981	0.03386	207	174	25	8
7649	Your blood pressure seems to be snaking higher	1.1977	0.02686	263	215	44	4
7650	Yours looks to be a difficult case - but fortunately, we have a reptile specialist at our clinic.	1.1977	0.02825	258	213	39	6
7651	It says here you’re experiencing some indigestion — is that right, Mr. Hiss?	1.1977	0.03080	258	218	29	11
7652	I think I have a prolapsed esophagus.	1.1977	0.02981	258	216	33	9
7653	Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed.	1.1976	0.03171	253	215	26	12
7654	Cats and kittens meow, purr and rub. Snavely, with neither voice nor legs can only hug. I suggest you take him out for regular drags around the park	1.1975	0.03100	243	204	30	9
7655	Your tests look OK, but the internal torso organs seem totally constricted.”	1.1975	0.03208	243	206	26	11
7656	So, you're a coder. And you're too wrapped up in your work.	1.1974	0.02946	233	192	36	5
7657	What I had in mind was a simple neck wrap.	1.1974	0.02920	228	187	37	4
7658	Mr. Mowgli, your test results look great. As for you Mr. Kaa, I suggest reducing the amount of meat in your diet.	1.1972	0.03251	213	178	28	7
7659	Um, Mortal Coil Syndrome. DSM-5 says you’re a goner.	1.1969	0.02761	259	213	41	5
7660	How long have you had this sensation of being all choked up?	1.1969	0.02868	259	215	37	7
7661	You can get dressed now. I’m just writing you a prescription.	1.1969	0.02920	259	216	35	8
7662	Have you given any thought to moving to a warmer climate?	1.1969	0.02920	259	216	35	8
7663	I prefer a sweater myself, not medically speaking you understand.	1.1969	0.02956	254	212	34	8
7664	I told him I wouldn't eat the fruit....	1.1968	0.02994	249	208	33	8
7665	The good news is, the snake is not in your boot.	1.1968	0.02769	249	204	41	4
7666	Mr. Levine, I don't care what Big Boi is wearing. I don't think it's a good idea to wear that during the Super Bowl halftime show.	1.1968	0.02939	249	207	35	7
7667	Can we make this quick? I'm a little wrapped up at the moment.	1.1968	0.02994	249	208	33	8
7668	Mr. Python, your vet just recommends less fiber.	1.1967	0.03033	244	204	32	8
7669	I'm going to order some expensive tests so we can get to the bottom of this. We should be able to tell what's causing your shortness of breath in couple weeks, max.	1.1967	0.03088	244	205	30	9
7670	I’m going to give you something that should relax and open up your airways. Get this filled right away	1.1967	0.02977	244	203	34	7
7671	...and I am recommending a python cleanse for your hypertension.	1.1967	0.03088	244	205	30	9
7672	I’m going to prescribe you some laxatives to help with the constricting you’re describing in your stomach.	1.1967	0.03074	239	200	31	8
7673	This isn't how I pictured my Florida retirement.	1.1967	0.03074	239	200	31	8
7674	And this cream for skincare.	1.1967	0.02836	239	196	39	4
7675	You mentioned you were highly motivated to lose weight at your last visit, but this method seems a bit extreme	1.1967	0.03074	239	200	31	8
7676	I don’t want any of your snake oil remedies.	1.1966	0.02997	234	194	34	6
7677	Your insurance company might be squeezing you dry, but I've got school loans and a Lamborghini to pay off.	1.1965	0.03161	229	192	29	8
7678	You can breathe easy, it's just plastic.	1.1965	0.02973	229	189	35	5
7679	Try swallowing her again and call me in the morning.	1.1965	0.03280	229	194	25	10
7680	Take a teaspoon of this whenever you have difficulty breathing	1.1965	0.02973	229	189	35	5
7681	This Python boot camp was not what I expected.	1.1964	0.03206	224	188	28	8
7682	I feel a little tightness in my chest	1.1964	0.02946	224	184	36	4
7683	I gotta tell you, when the receptionist said you were looking for a "snake oil salesman," I was a little offended.	1.1963	0.03318	219	185	25	9
7684	It’s just a strep throat. I’ll write you this prescription while you get dressed.	1.1962	0.03010	260	219	31	10
7685	It's called Idiopathic Dyspnea.	1.1962	0.02752	260	214	41	5
7686	We can rule out some of the causes of sudden weight gain by looking at the most obvious signs right in front of us.	1.1962	0.02909	260	217	35	8
7687	Unfortunately snake shedding doesn't really work like that.	1.1962	0.02752	260	214	41	5
7688	I'm going to refer you to a veterinarian for this -- and some opioids.	1.1961	0.02946	255	213	34	8
7689	Kind of Ironic that you named him, Albatross.	1.1961	0.02893	255	212	36	7
7690	I didnt mean that kind of boa for your sore throat	1.1961	0.02839	255	211	38	6
7691	Your blood pressure is fine, your cholesterol is fine, your breathing is fine....Yes, Mr. Knowles, I'm giving you a clean bill of health!	1.1960	0.02983	250	209	33	8
7692	The snake charmer on call will be with you as soon as he finishes with his current patient.	1.1960	0.03089	250	211	29	10
7693	I am scared a little doc!	1.1960	0.02873	250	207	37	6
7694	Doctors advise against free hugs for hygienic reasons, among others.	1.1960	0.03089	250	211	29	10
7695	Rather than now subjecting you to a complete g.i. series, I’m prescribing a laxative that will likely relieve your feelings of constriction	1.1960	0.02873	250	207	37	6
7696	You're suffering from too much love--from being your snake's main squeeze.	1.1959	0.02792	245	201	40	4
7697	You chose this because feathers tickle?	1.1959	0.03022	245	205	32	8
7698	I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you, Mr. Hiss: you have a malignant Carl.	1.1959	0.02966	245	204	34	7
7699	I know you feel trapped inside, but you've got to untangle yourself.	1.1958	0.03005	240	200	33	7
7700	The good new? You'll live. Bad news? The snake in your pants has died.	1.1958	0.03174	240	203	27	10
7701	You feel heavy but I can't see anything, we should do some tests, maybe a scan.	1.1958	0.02946	240	199	35	6
7702	I don't need to check you out. I’ll prescribe antibiotics for your sore throat	1.1958	0.03119	240	202	29	9
7703	Remember, I'm a G.P., not a sex therapist!	1.1957	0.03045	235	196	32	7
7704	I can give you a referral to a different lawyer.	1.1957	0.02985	235	195	34	6
7705	Well,I wouldn’t let her get too close to you.	1.1957	0.03104	235	197	30	8
7706	This is why we warn all our New Hampshire visitors.	1.1957	0.03025	230	191	33	6
7707	Separation anxiety. Give him two asps and call me in the morning.	1.1957	0.03148	230	193	29	8
7708	It’s a trend now. Ball Pythons are much cozier than a blanket for keeping patients warm while waiting your turn to be seen.	1.1956	0.02972	271	229	31	11
7709	I think we will skip the examination today, Mr. Smith, until you can unwind Mr. Snake.	1.1955	0.03304	220	186	25	9
7710	Think you're safe, snakes are not of interest to PETA.	1.1955	0.03042	220	182	33	5
7711	It doesn't seem like anything serious but I'd like to do a blood panel to be sure.	1.1955	0.03110	220	183	31	6
7712	It seems you're just a bit choked up	1.1954	0.02899	261	218	35	8
7713	I’m sorry Mr. Warren, could you repeat that? I can barely hear you.	1.1954	0.02999	261	220	31	10
7714	I think you misinterpreted the rules for the RuPaul Drag Race auditions	1.1954	0.02949	261	219	33	9
7715	Tightness in the chest suggests you have a chest cold	1.1953	0.02774	256	211	40	5
7716	I can't wrap my head around this.	1.1953	0.03038	256	216	30	10
7717	This should help you get your clothes back on.	1.1953	0.02935	256	214	34	8
7718	In point of fact, we’ve received nothing but positive feedback on our new comfort blanket animal.	1.1953	0.02935	256	214	34	8
7719	IT'S A PERSCRIPTION FOR CONSTRICTION	1.1952	0.03272	210	176	27	7
7720	you say you can not recall when you first noticed this condition?	1.1952	0.03409	210	178	23	9
7721	So how's your exposure therapy going?	1.1952	0.02863	251	208	37	6
7722	It's an experimental trial designed to constrict excessive food intake.	1.1951	0.02782	246	202	40	4
7723	Yes, you have an acute case of Pythonitis!	1.1951	0.02841	246	203	38	5
7724	I'm sorry but this doesn't seem to be covered by your HMO.	1.1950	0.02876	241	199	37	5
7725	I think you've got the two boas confused	1.1950	0.02994	241	201	33	7
7726	And why do you blame #MeToo?	1.1950	0.02935	241	200	35	6
7727	What do you know about tapeworms?	1.1950	0.03270	241	206	23	12
7728	I'll have to call the Specialist - a Snake Charmer.	1.1950	0.03051	241	202	31	8
7729	skipped the middleman & decided to wear the snakeskin directly?	1.1949	0.03033	236	197	32	7
7730	How long have you had this tightness in your chest ? /	1.1949	0.03033	236	197	32	7
7731	I’m going to have to put you on a stricter diet.	1.1949	0.03150	236	199	28	9
7732	Let me guess... you were watching Crocodile Hunter reruns and decided to try it at home.	1.1949	0.02869	272	228	35	9
7733	Tell me again where you’ve been getting your mud baths?	1.1948	0.03075	231	193	31	7
7734	I've consulted with the other three veterinarians in our practice. Unanimously, we conclude a diet of humans is not good for constrictors.	1.1948	0.02754	267	221	40	6
7735	Like I said last time this isn’t a veterinarian clinic	1.1947	0.02838	262	218	37	7
7736	Sorry, but payment is due before service may be rendered.	1.1946	0.03097	221	184	31	6
7737	Pressure in the chestb is almost certainly a heart attack.	1.1946	0.03174	257	220	24	13
7738	I've been feeling short of breath lately	1.1944	0.03072	216	179	32	5
7739	As I told you. Just keep taking your heart tablets-they’ll ease that chest tightness	1.1944	0.02797	252	208	39	5
7740	So obviously this treatment given to you by a witch doctor didn't cure your neck pain!	1.1944	0.02908	252	210	35	7
7741	Look, we all get a little wrapped up in our own lives sometimes.	1.1944	0.03341	216	183	24	9
7742	I've told you before that you will have problems if you get too wrapped up in your job.	1.1944	0.02853	252	209	37	6
7743	Stay close to a bathroom though.	1.1944	0.02853	252	209	37	6
7744	He's got You Under His Skin!	1.1944	0.03117	252	214	27	11
7745	Sorry. I’m genitourinary not veterinary. Wrong kind of snake.	1.1943	0.03000	247	207	32	8
7746	Alrighty...the shamanic ceremony is next. Here's the prescription for the Ayahuasca.	1.1942	0.03039	242	203	31	8
7747	You say you have "problems with relationships"?	1.1942	0.02805	242	199	39	4
7748	That's my Boa!	1.1942	0.03039	242	203	31	8
7749	Your pet certainly hides your weigh gain!	1.1942	0.02865	242	200	37	5
7750	Sir, please remove the onseie.	1.1942	0.03095	242	204	29	9
7751	So, aside from assuming that you suffer from herpetophobia - any other complaints?	1.1941	0.02764	273	227	39	7
7752	So the nurse tells me you're having some throat constriction problems. Is that correct?	1.1941	0.02962	237	197	34	6
7753	No, you’re not snakebit. It’s just a cold.	1.1941	0.02839	237	195	38	4
7754	We had limited access for the usual tests but your varicose veins are about the same as last year.	1.1941	0.03194	237	201	26	10
7755	Take twice a day for severe cramping.	1.1940	0.02745	268	222	40	6
7756	So at what point did you realize that you had become obsessed with reptiles?	1.1940	0.02795	268	223	38	7
7757	So your Great Uncle had high blood pressure and your Great Great Grandfather suffered from gout? Very interesting...	1.1940	0.03063	232	194	31	7
7758	If the rest of your Bucket List is this kinky, I can't think of anything to prescribe.	1.1940	0.03001	232	193	33	6
7759	Didn't I warn you about the dangers of eating a human based diet?	1.1939	0.02879	263	220	35	8
7760	And there are no other changes, you are still on the same medication.	1.1938	0.02977	227	188	34	5
7761	This is not what I meant by "hug therapy" .	1.1938	0.03167	227	191	28	8
7762	Mardi Grad is traditionally ‘feather’ but you’re not the first patient I’ve seen to mix them up	1.1938	0.02809	258	214	38	6
7763	Portion control is only half the battle.	1.1937	0.02787	253	209	39	5
7764	Take three rabbits and feed them to Kaa.	1.1937	0.03003	253	213	31	9
7765	You know, the feeling of being crushed by your medical liabilities may not be your only problem. Please put your gown back on now.	1.1937	0.02842	253	210	37	6
7766	Think of all the money you’ll save on heating bills this winter	1.1935	0.02702	248	203	42	3
7767	Try a different after shave lotion.	1.1935	0.02989	217	179	34	4
7768	Yep, it's the new crabs. Have you come in contact with any politicians?	1.1935	0.03096	248	210	28	10
7769	You know what they say; "A forbidden fruit a day..."	1.1935	0.02989	248	208	32	8
7770	It’s a gag reflex.	1.1934	0.03028	243	204	31	8
7771	I’ll prescribe a new medication that specifically addresses chest constriction.	1.1934	0.03028	243	204	31	8
7772	I see here that you believe you are snake bit. We will need to do a CT Scan to check it out.	1.1934	0.02794	243	200	39	4
7773	You have snakeskin syndrome.	1.1934	0.03083	243	205	29	9
7774	I'll just prescribe something for the discomfort and you should be good to go.	1.1934	0.03030	212	175	33	4
7775	Are you sure you are just hear to check your cholesterol ?	1.1933	0.02684	269	222	42	5
7776	I'm going to prescribe a muscle relaxer. It should help you get some rest. Call me if the chest tightness doesn't go away	1.1933	0.02890	238	197	36	5
7777	The side effects are in: You’re all tied up	1.1933	0.02890	238	197	36	5
7778	Mr. Morrison, a snake skin suit that is pet-friendly is not recommended.	1.1933	0.03010	238	199	32	7
7779	Do you have insurance for her?	1.1933	0.03010	238	199	32	7
7780	Unfortunately this is not a good substitute for tummy tuck surgery.	1.1932	0.02661	264	217	43	4
7781	I see you are experiencing the side-effects of my bill.	1.1932	0.02968	264	223	31	10
7782	So how long have you had this constricting feeling?	1.1931	0.02798	233	191	39	3
7783	It doesn't seem to want to negotiate.	1.1931	0.03051	233	195	31	7
7784	I'll write a prescription for frozen mice!	1.1931	0.03170	233	197	27	9
7785	I'm giving you a prescription for a mild sedative. Call me in a couple of weeks if the problem hasn't cleared up and we'll run some additional tests.	1.1930	0.02965	228	189	34	5
7786	Is your chest pressure present when you get up in the morning?	1.1930	0.03030	228	190	32	6
7787	Rest, check, ice, check, compression, check. Ok, next try elevation.	1.1929	0.03095	254	216	27	11
7788	I just thought the down jackets were overpriced...	1.1929	0.03095	254	216	27	11
7789	Always a good idea to lose 15 pounds and avoid getting wrapped up in other people's problems. See the nurse on the way out.	1.1929	0.02853	280	236	34	10
7790	I will note that you have a high deductible insurance plan	1.1928	0.03072	223	186	31	6
7791	Technology has afforded us many wonderful diagnostic tools.	1.1928	0.03005	223	185	33	5
7792	So, I'm assuming that the prescription I gave you last time didn't help with your feeling all wound up?	1.1928	0.02978	249	209	32	8
7793	This is a boa constrictor. Asp-irin won't alleviate the pain.	1.1928	0.02810	249	206	38	5
7794	She seems not angry but affectionate so I’m referring you to a professional psychologist.	1.1928	0.02810	249	206	38	5
7795	Lower back pain is notoriously difficult to treat, but we no longer recommend pythons or boas of any kind. Have you tried meditative yoga?	1.1927	0.03115	218	182	30	6
7796	I'm updating your restrictions and limitations.	1.1926	0.02960	244	204	33	7
7797	No excuses now on how hard it is to shed excess weight.	1.1926	0.03072	244	206	29	9
7798	yeah yeah. .. you look fine. You'll take 2 of these pills for that problem with your voice and visit me in 2 weeks.	1.1926	0.02902	244	203	35	6
7799	I know you love your work, but shouldn't you be less wrapped up in your job?	1.1926	0.03016	244	205	31	8
7800	I've had other patients too wrapped up in their pets. I'll give you a prescription for a trip to the Florida Everglades.	1.1926	0.02844	244	202	37	5
7801	I can give you some pain relievers, anything else?	1.1925	0.02817	239	197	38	4
7802	I had a feeling we could cure your gymnophobia with a support snake.	1.1925	0.02879	239	198	36	5
7803	And your thought the snake was real cute before it got bigger?	1.1925	0.02939	239	199	34	6
7804	Is this a new diet fad or a fashion statement?	1.1925	0.03114	239	202	28	9
7805	My blood pressure is off.	1.1925	0.02754	239	196	40	3
7806	Here’s the number for our telemedicine practice.	1.1925	0.02999	239	200	32	7
7807	And patient’s blood pressure?	1.1923	0.03099	234	197	29	8
7808	If the constriction persists, come back for another checkup.	1.1923	0.02945	260	219	32	9
7809	Sorry, no snake oil prescribed here.	1.1923	0.02894	260	218	34	8
7810	I don't care if it's all the rage at Fashion Week, you must understand the serious risk it poses to your respiratory health.	1.1923	0.02916	234	194	35	5
7811	Such a remarkable example of imprinting, can I take you to my next conference?	1.1921	0.03142	229	193	28	8
7812	You are not leaving until the bill is paid.	1.1921	0.03080	229	192	30	7
7813	I ordered a feather boa from Amazon and this is what I got.	1.1921	0.03080	229	192	30	7
7814	I understand your hesitation but low blood pressure is very difficult to treat.	1.1921	0.03202	229	194	26	9
7815	Some specialists might think it strikes the right note of middle aged whimsy, some might not.	1.1921	0.02954	229	190	34	5
7816	I understand that you wanted to wear a boa to the opening of La Cage aux Folles, but next time try a feather boa, okay?	1.1921	0.03080	229	192	30	7
7817	I'll concede you haven't been scratching your rash as much but....	1.1921	0.02888	229	189	36	4
7818	So what seems to be the problem? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.	1.1920	0.02856	250	208	36	6
7819	Mark didn't think much of Florida's python problem until things got personal.	1.1920	0.02741	250	206	40	4
7820	I am prescribing this OTC lotion for your snake-like skin issue. If you feel the tightness persist for more than 4 days, please see me again.	1.1920	0.03124	224	188	29	7
7821	I think a laxative will do!	1.1918	0.03005	245	206	31	8
7822	This anti-anxiety medication should fix you right up.	1.1918	0.02833	245	203	37	5
7823	How long have you had this feeling of being compressed?	1.1918	0.03060	245	207	29	9
7824	How is that weight control program going?	1.1917	0.02899	266	224	33	9
7825	Looks like you're still using python 2.	1.1917	0.02928	240	200	34	6
7826	The convenient thing to do is take a cold shower .	1.1916	0.03004	214	177	33	4
7827	Ah like your man wrap. Anaconda like your painted toenails.	1.1915	0.03086	235	198	29	8
7828	I'm pleased to tell you this is only a fake snake--pay no attention to it and it will go away.	1.1915	0.02776	235	193	39	3
7829	I would recommend laying off the python yoga classes for awhile.	1.1915	0.02966	235	196	33	6
7830	You live in a swamp, you love in a swamp.	1.1915	0.02904	235	195	35	5
7831	I'll schedule a colonoscopy to find what what sort of bowel obstruction we're dealing wth.	1.1915	0.03202	235	200	25	10
7832	And how long has this been going on?	1.1915	0.02904	235	195	35	5
7833	Ok well look like that wraps this up.	1.1914	0.02757	256	212	39	5
7834	Speaking as a veterinarian, I would suggest you feed the snake every day. Speaking as a friend, I would suggest you don't wear that cape over the snake.	1.1914	0.02866	256	214	35	7
7835	In my two days at working here, I have never seen someone using a snake as a t-shirt.	1.1913	0.03006	230	192	32	6
7836	I'm sorry, I can't help you anaconda this qualifies as a pre-existing condition.	1.1912	0.03113	251	214	26	11
7837	It’s it’s the latest cure for IBS.	1.1912	0.02789	251	208	38	5
7838	I had the same problem so I bought my python a heated mannequin. It worked for me. Here's a prescription and remember, you can write it off as a medical deduction.	1.1912	0.03113	251	214	26	11
7839	I’m writing you a prescription for a lifetime supply of Aleve	1.1911	0.03047	225	188	31	6
7840	Immobilized by Severe and acute pain....Vicodin should do it. Come back if it persists.	1.1911	0.03047	225	188	31	6
7841	Amazing medical Hissss...tory!	1.1911	0.03236	225	191	25	9
7842	hmm- - - and do you have any more pet peeves?	1.1911	0.03359	246	214	17	15
7843	How long have you had this constricting symptom?	1.1911	0.02881	246	205	35	6
7844	He's a professional hugger	1.1911	0.03049	246	208	29	9
7845	It says on your chart that you feel you are in a right squeeze. Do I have that right?	1.1910	0.02984	267	227	29	11
7846	No, I'm not sure why your aortic valve is constricting...do you smoke?	1.1909	0.03145	241	205	26	10
7847	Is this love at first bite?	1.1909	0.03090	241	204	28	9
7848	Take two asp-irin and I'll see you in the morning.	1.1908	0.02924	262	221	32	9
7849	I need you to go all the way down to your skivvies.	1.1907	0.02893	236	196	35	5
7850	Actually, we find it's more common than you'd first think.	1.1907	0.02691	257	212	41	4
7851	Most people are wrapped up in their own world	1.1906	0.02766	278	233	37	8
7852	I’m sorry Senator. There’s nothing That I can do. I’ll have to refer you to a herpetologist.	1.1905	0.02994	231	193	32	6
7853	Take two Advil and call back tomorrow if the difficulty breathing persists.	1.1905	0.02891	252	211	34	7
7854	Good news. Your body is starting to reap the rewards of those regular forest walks.	1.1903	0.02927	247	207	33	7
7855	Another weight loss fad strikes again..	1.1903	0.02812	247	205	37	5
7856	I'm going to recommend this organic compression jacket.	1.1903	0.02983	247	208	31	8
7857	Don't you know that animal skin clothing is no longer P.C.?	1.1903	0.02812	247	205	37	5
7858	it is just her way to show affection	1.1903	0.02812	247	205	37	5
7859	Exactly what drug company do you represent?	1.1903	0.03144	247	211	25	11
7860	Let's try a ten-day course of antibiotics and see how it goes.	1.1903	0.02753	247	204	39	4
7861	I’m going to go ahead and cancel this prescription I made for you when I was told you were coming in because of your snake.	1.1903	0.03037	247	209	29	9
7862	We care unable to treat you because there is no billing code for your condition.	1.1903	0.03223	226	192	25	9
7863	you seem a bit wrapped up in yourself today.	1.1903	0.03223	226	192	25	9
7864	Sorry for the delay, I have been wrapped up, uh, tied, uh busy, with some other patients.....	1.1900	0.03009	221	184	32	5
7865	We’ll get that hideous thing off you in no time... TWIST, I’m talking to the snake!!	1.1900	0.03271	221	188	24	9
7866	Take two asp-irin and kaa me in the morning.	1.1900	0.02756	279	234	37	8
7867	The anesthesiologist called it sick. Only a matter of seconds now.	1.1899	0.02898	258	217	33	8
7868	Ssssnakes don’t have sssssssurmames that’s just ssssssssilly	1.1899	0.02943	237	198	33	6
7869	Just tell your wife you are tied up at work.	1.1899	0.03003	237	199	31	7
7870	So. Any allergies that you know of?	1.1898	0.03051	216	180	31	5
7871	If Eve gave you the apple, who gave the snake Eve?	1.1897	0.02987	253	214	30	9
7872	'Received the 2.4.19 issue in the mail today 2.5. I have a caption for the contest. But, it's too late -- Not fair! Here it is anyway: Hug the machine, hold your breath. First Manogram?	1.1897	0.02987	253	214	30	9
7873	Now, when did you start to notice these asthma symptoms?	1.1897	0.02919	232	193	34	5
7874	Sequeezing chest pain ?? I don't think it's your heart..take this.	1.1896	0.02720	269	224	39	6
7875	Are you still eating these apples?	1.1896	0.03166	211	177	28	6
7876	It's a little bigger than Trump's tie, but I don't like the color.	1.1895	0.03080	248	211	27	10
7877	We're moving to a BigFarma approach to pain management.	1.1895	0.03026	248	210	29	9
7878	So I’m gonna have you start a gluten free diet and we’ll see how your body reacts in five to six weeks.	1.1895	0.02972	248	209	31	8
7879	I am referring you to a Dermatologist, for scaly skin	1.1895	0.02860	248	207	35	6
7880	You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you'd turned up the heat.	1.1894	0.03022	227	190	31	6
7881	Let me scale back your dosage.	1.1894	0.02957	227	189	33	5
7882	Definately, Python bivittatus.	1.1894	0.02802	264	221	36	7
7883	They promised you feathers?"	1.1893	0.03066	243	206	28	9
7884	I understand you picked up the snake in church and he's listed as a boa conscripture.	1.1893	0.02953	243	204	32	7
7885	Yes, you are correct, Google does say Hulk Hogan wore a boa.	1.1893	0.03010	243	205	30	8
7886	And the ladder you put where?	1.1893	0.03066	243	206	28	9
7887	Sorry sir, you need to see a doctor. I'm a vet	1.1892	0.02857	222	183	36	3
7888	As your veterinarian, I would advise you to change your diet, have you considered vegan?	1.1892	0.03130	222	187	28	7
7889	You know, you wouldn't be here if you had taken more than just a bite out of that apple.	1.1892	0.03064	222	186	30	6
7890	I respect your passion but there has got to be a better way to grow your collection.	1.1892	0.03064	222	186	30	6
7891	As your vet, I advise you to reduce your caloric intake.	1.1892	0.02782	259	216	37	6
7892	They crave warmth during the winter. Try wrapping him around a radiator.	1.1892	0.03064	222	186	30	6
7893	Here is a prescription for the pain. I'm referring you to a specialist.	1.1890	0.02976	254	215	30	9
7894	Like you, I’m having trouble wrapping my arms around your condition	1.1890	0.02815	254	212	36	6
7895	Take two moth balls every six hours and it should go away in a few days.	1.1890	0.02870	254	213	34	7
7896	Yes, I do find you to be a little constricted. But, no....a colonoscopy will not be necessary.	1.1889	0.03107	217	182	29	6
7897	Why did you think it would make loving pet??	1.1889	0.03038	217	181	31	5
7898	Your blood pressure problem is one for the books.	1.1889	0.02711	270	225	39	6
7899	Seems he has a problem holding things down	1.1888	0.03032	233	196	30	7
7900	Let's see..no more constipation, no more gas. That's good, but I'm concerned about this sudden gain in weight.	1.1888	0.02843	233	193	36	4
7901	We'll have to wait for The Year of The Snake to treat this."	1.1888	0.03015	249	211	29	9
7902	Oy. Bodega on 233rd?	1.1887	0.02843	265	223	34	8
7903	Hmm, you say you tend to feel constricted somewhat?	1.1887	0.02942	265	225	30	10
7904	My gravest concern is your eight missing vertebrae.	1.1885	0.02942	244	205	32	7
7905	For my money, close fitting pants would be your better bet against ticks.	1.1885	0.02825	244	203	36	5
7906	I could get out if I wanted to.	1.1885	0.02999	244	206	30	8
7907	Good news, the treatment lowered your cholesterol...Bad news, your insurance will not cover it.	1.1885	0.02773	260	217	37	6
7908	Let's not creep around the subject, you've put on some weight.	1.1883	0.03181	223	189	26	8
7909	How long has your anaconda rescue been with you?	1.1883	0.03244	223	190	24	9
7910	Well, yes, same spelling...	1.1883	0.02921	239	200	33	6
7911	It’s time for me to wrap this up!	1.1883	0.03039	239	202	29	8
7912	I applaud you for trying to find a natural alternative to prescribed antidepressants. Unfortunately snake hugs don't raise endorphin levels.	1.1882	0.02860	255	214	34	7
7913	Exactly what do you want me to do?	1.1881	0.03539	202	174	18	10
7914	I'm sorry, but we only have rattlesnake antidote in stock."	1.1880	0.02732	266	222	38	6
7915	It feels like I'm suffocating.	1.1878	0.02998	229	192	31	6
7916	Quitting smoking will help reduce your high blood pressure	1.1878	0.02815	245	204	36	5
7917	I’m not sure what you want me to do. Most people would kill for a large snake.	1.1878	0.02874	245	205	34	6
7918	Your symptoms are common these days. There’s a new parasite. . . .	1.1878	0.02874	245	205	34	6
7919	Yea, I read the bible too. But my take away was to just stay away from snakes.	1.1878	0.02693	245	202	40	3
7920	Well, your weight isn't the problem I thought it was...	1.1875	0.02849	256	215	34	7
7921	I'm not that type of healer. Perhaps try oil or charming it.	1.1875	0.02787	240	199	37	4
7922	Well Fred, it looks like you have put on some weight.	1.1875	0.03006	256	218	28	10
7923	Mr. Snake, I'm afraid you have the disease Human.	1.1875	0.03168	224	190	26	8
7924	I really can't examine you until you unsnake.	1.1873	0.02873	267	226	32	9
7925	If you can't get unwound, I don't think I can be of much help.	1.1873	0.02824	267	225	34	8
7926	I’m writing you a lifetime prescription for Mice-i-cillin...please fill it ASAP!	1.1873	0.02824	267	225	34	8
7927	So you have the feeling that everyone is running circles around you.	1.1873	0.02828	251	210	35	6
7928	Sorry, but sometimes we have to adapt to circumstances.	1.1873	0.02713	251	208	39	4
7929	So you're not quite feeling like yourself - any reason why?	1.1873	0.02771	251	209	37	5
7930	Time to remove the compression sleeve.	1.1873	0.02713	251	208	39	4
7931	I'm sending you to a marriage counselor.	1.1873	0.02993	251	213	29	9
7932	So everything on your chart looks normal. You said you're feeling some stomach pressure?"	1.1872	0.02885	235	196	34	5
7933	Your kegel exercises have gone a little too far.	1.1872	0.03127	235	200	26	9
7934	Our tests, Mr. Daniels, show absolutely nothing wrong with you that would cause the upper body pressure you say you have. If in six months you somehow still feel the pain we could, perhaps, run the tests again. Thank you for coming in.	1.1870	0.02908	262	222	31	9
7935	Basically, I can't find any issues, but I want to refer you to an excellent herpetologist I know who'll call you at home to schedule an appointment.	1.1870	0.02920	246	207	32	7
7936	So how've you been feeling lately?	1.1870	0.02863	246	206	34	6
7937	I’m going to refer you to a good snake charmer...but call me if you hear a rattle!	1.1870	0.02804	246	205	36	5
7938	Your trouble is stress, and you need to uncoil.	1.1870	0.02804	246	205	36	5
7939	Now can I see your snake?	1.1870	0.03032	246	209	28	9
7940	I'd recommend fasting. Be sure to drink lots of fluids and see me in two weeks.	1.1870	0.02683	246	203	40	3
7941	I can’t treat you until you sbow proof of insurance.	1.1870	0.02922	230	192	33	5
7942	I'm afraid we may need to amputate. No more Viagra for you.	1.1870	0.03346	230	199	19	12
7943	I'm a charmer, but you need to see a Herpetologist.	1.1868	0.02782	273	230	35	8
7944	You have ssssssss-evere hypertension.	1.1868	0.02730	257	214	38	5
7945	Do you think it a coincidence that your surname is Asclepius?	1.1868	0.02944	257	218	30	9
7946	You'd feel better if you would loose a few pounds.	1.1867	0.02777	241	200	37	4
7947	I've told you before. There's nothing we can do until you lose some weight.	1.1867	0.02958	241	203	31	7
7948	You didn’t read my ‘What to watch for’ DC pamphlet, did you?	1.1867	0.02777	241	200	37	4
7949	No thank you, the snake is less constricting than medical debt.	1.1867	0.03091	225	190	28	7
7950	I recommend less snug-fitting garments.	1.1867	0.02960	225	188	32	5
7951	Most Pyton programers dont get this wraped up in their work	1.1866	0.03243	209	177	25	7
7952	You'll be fine - Just drink more water.	1.1866	0.03098	209	175	29	5
7953	No shirt, no shoes, no service.	1.1865	0.03187	252	218	21	13
7954	I’m giving you a referral to a veterinarian.	1.1864	0.02745	236	195	38	3
7955	Well, in fact, this is actually dangerous, despite the familiar feeling it gives you as a teacher.	1.1864	0.03172	236	202	24	10
7956	It says here your boss told you to learn Python.	1.1864	0.03114	236	201	26	9
7957	If your health insurance covered you as well as your current medical condition, I would be able to cure you.	1.1864	0.02858	220	182	35	3
7958	You don't by any chance own a pet boa constrictor, do you?	1.1863	0.02796	263	221	35	7
7959	Unusual,yes, but it is the only treatment that has a chance	1.1863	0.02744	263	220	37	6
7960	When your wife said, "have you seen my boa?" Why didn't you tell her?	1.1862	0.02794	247	206	36	5
7961	The boa that you wanted came with feathers.	1.1861	0.03037	231	195	29	7
7962	Do you a family history of ringworm?	1.1861	0.03158	231	197	25	9
7963	I'm afraid you're a snake in snake's clothing, Mr. Cohen.	1.1860	0.02882	258	218	32	8
7964	Sir, I'm sorry to inform you but you have snakewrapedaroundyoutoses	1.1860	0.02934	258	219	30	9
7965	Not feeling well -- my chest seems a little tight.	1.1860	0.02639	242	199	41	2
7966	She’s keeping me warm during this polar vortex.	1.1859	0.02704	269	225	38	6
7967	This way provides a much higher concentration of snake oil.	1.1858	0.03204	226	193	24	9
7968	I think we should begin by increasing the dose of your blood pressure medication.	1.1858	0.02948	226	189	32	5
7969	You've gained weight. What's up?	1.1858	0.02881	226	188	34	4
7970	All your tests seem to be normal. Nothing which would explain the constricted breathing you are experiencing.	1.1858	0.03079	226	191	28	7
7971	Cut down on red meat and come back in 6-8 weeks and we will re-evaluate.	1.1858	0.02752	253	211	37	5
7972	In my medical opinion, your definition of unconditional love goes out the window when a pet is trying to kill you.	1.1858	0.02694	253	210	39	4
7973	The good news is those strange growths should just eventually fall off, Mr. Kaa.	1.1857	0.02669	237	195	40	2
7974	Weight loss program? But you put on eighty pounds.	1.1857	0.02735	237	196	38	3
7975	doc, I think I picked up a man	1.1855	0.02846	221	183	35	3
7976	Idea for sustainable clothing:...	1.1855	0.02918	221	184	33	4
7977	I'm sorry to tell you Mr. Lewis, that's a metaphoricobra. It appears you've been getting a little wrapped in distractions... Hah! Just kidding! I don't know what to do... Go see a vet or something, I dunno..	1.1855	0.02954	248	210	30	8
7978	Blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, and blood oxygen levels --- not only are we doing intake with fewer employees, but now we're doing it without expensive equipment.	1.1855	0.03009	248	211	28	9
7979	Come on. It's not THAT cold in here.	1.1855	0.02724	248	206	38	4
7980	Keeping warm?	1.1853	0.02834	232	193	35	4
7981	So, for how long now have your blood vessels been constricted?	1.1853	0.02899	232	194	33	5
7982	i was cold with no blanket	1.1853	0.02765	259	217	36	6
7983	Your body temperature is up a couple of degrees. Other than that . . .	1.1853	0.02819	259	218	34	7
7984	Take two aspirins and call me in the morning	1.1852	0.02817	243	203	35	5
7985	You seem to have gained weight around your tummy.	1.1852	0.03301	216	185	22	9
7986	I'm referring you to a psychiatrist for your uptightness.	1.1852	0.03049	243	207	27	9
7987	He’s poisoness so just be thankful he hasn’t bitten you.	1.1852	0.02935	243	205	31	7
7988	How lomg have you two been palling around?	1.1850	0.02742	254	212	37	5
7989	Now stick out your tongue and say, "AAAAHHHH!"	1.1850	0.02798	254	213	35	6
7990	Looks like you're going to have to contact the belt manufacturer.	1.1850	0.02869	227	189	34	4
7991	Tell him to hold on and I'll get you a sweater.	1.1850	0.02869	227	189	34	4
7992	Ah! A B-oh-a! The nurse misunderstood yours as a much more severe condition. I'll be right back.	1.1850	0.02869	227	189	34	4
7993	I thought you LIKED mamba-care for all	1.1850	0.02869	227	189	34	4
7994	Are you the proctologist removing the feeder mice?	1.1849	0.02973	238	201	30	7
7995	Weight gain can really snake up on you.	1.1849	0.02973	238	201	30	7
7996	Well, bend over so we can get this prostrate exam started.	1.1849	0.03032	238	202	28	8
7997	Since you have elected for "Non-General Anesthesia", side effects may include redness of the face, loss of breath, and Everglades destruction.	1.1849	0.03203	238	205	22	11
7998	No,no,you have to say feather boa.	1.1847	0.02888	249	210	32	7
7999	I'm sorry, it's too late for surgery. Physical therapy might help, plus I can recommend a fashion consultant.	1.1847	0.02943	249	211	30	8
8000	You'll be OK. You just need a hug.	1.1847	0.03174	222	189	25	8
8001	I'm going to have to put you on a strict diet. You've gained 100 pounds in the past 3 months.	1.1847	0.03109	222	188	27	7
8002	There are some fractured bones in your ankle, but everything else is great.	1.1846	0.02861	260	220	32	8
8003	It might seem dangerous, but again, it all comes with side effects.	1.1845	0.03039	206	172	30	4
8004	I'm sending you to the dermatologist for your scaly skin condition	1.1844	0.02806	244	204	35	5
8005	I take it you're a Slytherin?	1.1844	0.02866	244	205	33	6
8006	I said "aspirin", not "asp".	1.1843	0.03286	217	186	22	9
8007	Now, you say you work for The Laocoon Group?	1.1842	0.02868	266	226	31	9
8008	This will give you some emotional support while you tame that screen addiction.	1.1842	0.02858	228	190	34	4
8009	I have bad news. It's a wrap.	1.1842	0.02767	266	224	35	7
8010	I can see that you are wrapped up right now, you owe $1,500, where should I send your bill?	1.1841	0.02714	239	198	38	3
8011	I know you don't like your body. I don't either.	1.1841	0.02902	239	201	32	6
8012	I have some medication for you, but the side effects are rather restrictive.	1.1839	0.02637	261	217	40	4
8013	Ok, Mr. Cole, so you're liking how the new medication has slowed down your hair loss, but now you're shedding skin?	1.1839	0.02692	261	218	38	5
8014	So how’s the weight loss going?	1.1839	0.02894	223	186	33	4
8015	I rarely prescribe it, but yours is the worst case of constipation I've ever seen.	1.1838	0.03001	234	198	29	7
8016	Our xray tech just went to lunch, can you hold on a few minutes?	1.1838	0.02939	234	197	31	6
8017	Mr. Wilson, treatments have come a long way since the days of snake oil.	1.1838	0.02812	234	195	35	4
8018	I'm sorry to tell you that your condition has reached the Oh Heck Stage.	1.1836	0.02832	256	216	33	7
8019	The diet I have suggested is very effective for weight loss.	1.1836	0.02778	256	215	35	6
8020	It says here you are feeling a tightness in your insides?	1.1836	0.02832	256	216	33	7
8021	I don't think you should stick with this snake charmer business.	1.1835	0.02706	267	224	37	6
8022	We will X-ray to see if a tumor is causing your recent weight gain.	1.1835	0.02932	218	182	32	4
8023	Side effects include headaches, dizziness, and dry mouth.	1.1834	0.02913	229	192	32	5
8024	Have you been getting your 30 minutes of cardio?	1.1834	0.03041	229	194	28	7
8025	Your PETA values are dangerously low.	1.1834	0.03104	229	195	26	8
8026	And you say this happened after climbing a ladder?	1.1834	0.02913	229	192	32	5
8027	I counsel patience since you're due to moult in another 6 weeks	1.1833	0.02635	251	208	40	3
8028	Do you feel like you're suffocating or feel like you're trapped? I'll just go ahead and prescribe a different pill for each.	1.1833	0.02811	251	211	34	6
8029	Feeling a tad constricted?" "Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.	1.1832	0.02892	262	223	30	9
8030	Your life's too stressful; you need ti unwind a bit.	1.1832	0.02627	262	218	40	4
8031	With your anxiety, Fred, a weighted blanket just isn't going to cut it.	1.1832	0.02736	262	220	36	6
8032	Beastiality?	1.1832	0.02789	262	221	34	7
8033	I see you wrote slithery here?	1.1832	0.02815	273	232	32	9
8034	I think it might be too late to see if the pet store will take it back.	1.1830	0.02865	235	197	33	5
8035	If we leave that mortal coil, you'll soon be shuffling off this mortal coil.	1.1830	0.03049	235	200	27	8
8036	Sir, you must stop imagining there's a snake wrapped around your body. You're making an asp of yourself.	1.1830	0.03108	235	201	25	9
8037	Take two asprine and call me in the morning. You might also try having your dog sleep on the bed with you.	1.1829	0.02786	246	206	35	5
8038	No, I’m sure you’re usually a very charming date.	1.1829	0.03014	246	210	27	9
8039	I ‘m sorry. I don’t see anything in your work-up that would cause tightness in the chest.	1.1829	0.02959	246	209	29	8
8040	This will require the escape of a lifetime Mr Plissken	1.1828	0.02799	268	227	33	8
8041	Yes, we're all having tight times	1.1828	0.02591	268	223	41	4
8042	You look a little tense - to start with I'm going to suggest you try a bit of mindfulness...	1.1828	0.02660	290	245	37	8
8043	The feather boa will feel far less constricting. Use only as needed since it may stimulate an adverse reaction in some people.	1.1827	0.02853	208	172	34	2
8044	In most cases like this, we see the results of having trusted a snake _oil_ salesman.	1.1826	0.02990	219	184	30	5
8045	I recommend you take some ASP-perin, scale back on eating and hiss me in the morning.	1.1826	0.02847	219	182	34	3
8046	This is why you should have never skipped transfiguration class	1.1826	0.02901	230	193	32	5
8047	These new dating apps are ruining evening shifts	1.1826	0.02939	241	204	30	7
8048	How did you put that coat on?	1.1825	0.02911	252	214	30	8
8049	And how long have you had the dry cough?	1.1825	0.02743	252	211	36	5
8050	How long have you been a boa constrictor?	1.1825	0.02757	274	232	34	8
8051	So let's see, your Great-Grandfather Adam was afraid of snakes."	1.1822	0.02871	225	188	33	4
8052	'Extreme' burlesque, you say.	1.1822	0.02729	225	186	37	2
8053	So now the stethoscope wasn’t too cold?	1.1822	0.02854	236	198	33	5
8054	This will help with the constriction, and next time, try some leather boots.	1.1822	0.02724	236	196	37	3
8055	The dyspnea could also be your hay fever.	1.1822	0.03096	236	202	25	9
8056	I'll prescribe you some diet pills, see how that unravels.	1.1822	0.02834	247	208	33	6
8057	Mr. Beekman, please remain very still, please speak very softly and please find something casual to wear after the unwinding?	1.1822	0.02789	269	228	33	8
8058	Well, Dr Dolittle, I think you are not a Parcelmouth, after all.	1.1818	0.02978	220	185	30	5
8059	I imagine she won't mind a little Botox	1.1818	0.03017	231	196	28	7
8060	Sometimes I feel like you just want to squeeze one more copay out of me.	1.1818	0.02900	253	215	30	8
8061	I've been feeling very ssssick.	1.1818	0.02846	253	214	32	7
8062	You must deal with your enmeshment issue first.	1.1818	0.02846	253	214	32	7
8063	You're having trouble breathing? You may have pneumonia, bronchitis, or snake-itis.	1.1818	0.03074	209	176	28	5
8064	I am afraid the only snake-related health problem covered by your insurance is Salmonella infection. Have you experienced any nausea recently?	1.1818	0.02747	242	202	36	4
8065	I’m going to refer you to Dr. Boa, she’s a wonderful herpetologist over at St. Vincent’s	1.1818	0.03257	231	200	20	11
8066	Er...you married, sir?	1.1818	0.02928	242	205	30	7
8067	The lab report says serpentines	1.1815	0.02877	270	231	29	10
8068	Well, it’s a little unorthodox, but there’s no question you’ve got s COBRA account!	1.1815	0.02824	248	209	33	6
8069	My diagnosis is that the conversion therapy is working.	1.1815	0.02765	248	208	35	5
8070	This prescription for oil should do the trick.	1.1814	0.02966	237	201	29	7
8071	I am going to recommend we run a few tests and keep you overnight for observation.	1.1814	0.02843	237	199	33	5
8072	Is this the way you provide warmth and comfort to all your patients?	1.1814	0.02843	237	199	33	5
8073	You'll be wrapt to know the tests came back negative.	1.1814	0.02789	226	188	35	3
8074	Yes, that is an unusual way to stay warm.	1.1814	0.02789	226	188	35	3
8075	Dont’t judge, it’s PETA approved! Justin T New York, NY	1.1814	0.02927	226	190	31	5
8076	They can fit you into the surgery suite on Wednesday!	1.1814	0.02946	215	180	31	4
8077	I'm afraid 'Delusions-R-Us' has a strict no-refund policy.	1.1814	0.02794	215	178	35	2
8078	I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network	1.1811	0.02760	265	224	34	7
8079	It's okay Bob, everybody loves a slinky	1.1811	0.02780	254	214	34	6
8080	He obviously misunderstood me when I said 'let's wrap it up'.	1.1811	0.02724	254	213	36	5
8081	Restricted breathing, faint heartbeat, cold.... I think I'll prescribe some antibiotics; they work for almost everything.	1.1811	0.02736	243	203	36	4
8082	If you weren't such a rat, you wouldn't be in this mess.	1.1811	0.02975	243	207	28	8
8083	Take two boa dilaters and call me in the morning.	1.1811	0.03087	243	209	24	10
8084	You look a little wound up. I'm writing a prescription for you to relax.	1.1811	0.02917	243	206	30	7
8085	I see the problem and I'm making you an appointment with the audiologist straight away.... I don't think you were told to code in a python.	1.1811	0.02917	243	206	30	7
8086	Not the improvement I hoped for. Have you been following the pamphlets I gave you.?	1.1810	0.02942	232	196	30	6
8087	Have you tried this homeopathic remedy? It's pure snake oil.	1.1810	0.02942	232	196	30	6
8088	And the Snuggie I had prescribed, Mr. Smith?	1.1808	0.02770	271	230	33	8
8089	I don't know of any reason you should feel restricted.	1.1807	0.02755	249	209	35	5
8090	Your insurance company wants to know if python attraction is part of your family history?	1.1807	0.02755	249	209	35	5
8091	You need to stop shopping for boas at the pet store	1.1807	0.02755	249	209	35	5
8092	This Instagram mania sure has made my days more interesting	1.1807	0.02832	238	200	33	5
8093	Let me just check your breathing and then you'll be out of here.	1.1807	0.02954	238	202	29	7
8094	Looks like we need to constrict your Adderall prescription a little.	1.1806	0.03077	216	183	27	6
8095	A magician huh, looks like your all wrapped up in your work.	1.1805	0.02632	277	233	38	6
8096	I'm going to prescribe blood pressure medicine and a citric acid descaler ...	1.1805	0.02852	266	227	30	9
8097	My wife thinks I am too tightly wrapped.	1.1805	0.02751	266	225	34	7
8098	We see this all the time when anybody comes out with a new body reduction fad.	1.1805	0.02751	266	225	34	7
8099	Neuroscientific research suggests some experiences from as far back as Eden can influence subsequent generations	1.1804	0.02825	255	216	32	7
8100	Is there a reptile show in town? You're the third case I've seen of this today.	1.1804	0.02879	255	217	30	8
8101	Tell me, do you feel any constriction in your chest? Toby Green, Cambridge	1.1803	0.02787	244	205	34	5
8102	...so I should put you down as a "yes" for our new alternative to weight-loss surgery?	1.1803	0.02787	244	205	34	5
8103	A major concern, of course, is the inaccessibility of the pocket areas.	1.1803	0.03020	244	209	26	9
8104	I suggest we try to reason with it	1.1803	0.02931	233	197	30	6
8105	I'll need to conduct additional tests to deterine why you are short of breath.	1.1802	0.02783	283	242	31	10
8106	Your surgery will have to wait for this condition to resolve itself.	1.1801	0.03048	211	178	28	5
8107	I know you love your pet snake, but try to stop getting hugs from him.	1.1801	0.02729	261	220	35	6
8108	Between 1 and 10, how would you rate your current level of tension? 1 being light as a mite and 10 being heavy as a Chevy.	1.1800	0.02970	250	214	27	9
8109	Well, it’s definitely NOT a Jessie Ventura signature boa.	1.1800	0.02563	250	207	41	2
8110	That's a nice leather jacket you have on	1.1799	0.02821	239	201	33	5
8111	You're OK. I think you're just too uptight.	1.1799	0.02943	239	203	29	7
8112	Squeeze 5more pounds off and then you'll reach your goal weight.	1.1799	0.02758	239	200	35	4
8113	From what you told me and after closer examination, I’m referring you to a proctologist	1.1799	0.02943	239	203	29	7
8114	My diagnosis is irritable bowel syndrome.	1.1799	0.02883	239	202	31	6
8115	I’ll write it down, but, well... I’d rather uncoil this thing than prescribe it a heat lamp	1.1799	0.02821	239	201	33	5
8116	Constricting your waist is not equal to wait loss.	1.1799	0.02624	278	234	38	6
8117	say aahhhh	1.1798	0.02903	228	192	31	5
8118	Emotional pets do work. I just wish I never tried that iguana.	1.1798	0.03034	228	194	27	7
8119	Here is a prescription for some snake food.	1.1798	0.02767	228	190	35	3
8120	Yes,you're cold blooded.	1.1797	0.02993	217	183	29	5
8121	Our tests suggest that you're suffering from asphyxiation. Don't worry, there's no need to get all choked up.	1.1797	0.02993	217	183	29	5
8122	So, we have established that Emily Dickinson was right about the “tighter breathing.” Now I want to check the temperature of your bones.	1.1797	0.02922	256	219	28	9
8123	Take Clinton's advice and don't inhale.	1.1797	0.02704	256	215	36	5
8124	This is much better for you than the snake oil you've been swallowing, believe me!	1.1796	0.02716	245	205	36	4
8125	No, it doesn't hate you; Mr. Squeezy is simply having an anxiety attack. I'm giving you a prescription for 'Pythonbien.'	1.1796	0.02837	245	207	32	6
8126	Take two hot salt baths daily until that tight feeling goes away.	1.1796	0.02777	245	206	34	5
8127	Seems you're a bit "wrapped up" at the moment,Steve,do you want to reschedule?	1.1796	0.02895	245	208	30	7
8128	Ok, so you say you’ve been having trouble breathing. Here’s a prescription that should help.	1.1796	0.02952	245	209	28	8
8129	My wife is concerned but honestly I’m really enjoying this.	1.1795	0.02791	234	196	34	4
8130	Yes, she may SAY she loves you, but it's a bit more complicated than that.	1.1794	0.02719	262	221	35	6
8131	The symptoms you have... Allegedly reported lead me to believe you do indeed have asthma.	1.1794	0.03009	223	189	28	6
8132	Let's try this.	1.1794	0.02872	223	187	32	4
8133	Well, Mr. Bennett, if this is indeed your new main squeeze, we'll need to come up with another approach to helping you lose those extra pounds.	1.1793	0.02849	251	213	31	7
8134	- So, you woke up this morning and felt your throat was kind of constricted? - yessssssssssssss doctor	1.1793	0.02792	251	212	33	6
8135	We'll be taking you upstairs in a few minutes, Mr. Schenkman, but the staff was wondering if they could take a few photos with you and Rusty before he's killed.	1.1792	0.03316	212	183	20	9
8136	Now sir if you'll just let me examine your abdomen, I'll figure out what's going on.	1.1792	0.02683	240	200	37	3
8137	I Know you've been feeling a bit restricted, but this prescription will ease the pain a bit	1.1792	0.02871	240	203	31	6
8138	The research has shown that this is an effective weight loss program.	1.1792	0.02932	240	204	29	7
8139	And did you, in fact, trust in him, just in him?	1.1792	0.02871	240	203	31	6
8140	No problem, 5 days on antiboatics - a Siss-Pak will do it.	1.1790	0.02805	257	218	32	7
8141	I’m seriously going to have to speak to billing.	1.1790	0.02637	257	215	38	4
8142	You say there's an apple in there somewhere for me?	1.1790	0.02805	257	218	32	7
8143	Has it occurred to you Balenciaga may have been tripping?	1.1790	0.02859	257	219	30	8
8144	Have you tried losing weight?	1.1789	0.02997	246	211	26	9
8145	So, tell me please: when was the last time you shed your skin?	1.1789	0.02767	246	207	34	5
8146	I must admit that Rachel Weisz wore it better.	1.1789	0.02826	246	208	32	6
8147	Put an ice pack on it, and you'll be fine	1.1786	0.02860	224	188	32	4
8148	Sir, I’m afraid you have a commitment issue	1.1786	0.02839	252	214	31	7
8149	Yes, we are part of Mutual of Omaha’s medical plan so this will be an in network office visit. So...now let me take a look at that ingrown toenail.	1.1784	0.03013	269	234	22	13
8150	So you don’t want it removed because it kept me warm during the polar vortex.	1.1784	0.02723	269	228	34	7
8151	Your feelings of being constricted should be taken care of with this prescription to alligator alley I'm writing for you.	1.1784	0.02920	241	205	29	7
8152	As long as you keep its head covered they’ll just think you’ve gained weight.	1.1784	0.03234	213	183	22	8
8153	So, you say it’s only been three and a half hours?	1.1783	0.02848	258	220	30	8
8154	You think your snake problem is bad, wait until you see your HIV test.	1.1783	0.02795	258	219	32	7
8155	Did your plumber explain how to snake your clogged drain?	1.1783	0.03072	230	197	25	8
8156	I respect your modesty, but you must let me examine what's underneath.	1.1783	0.02813	230	193	33	4
8157	You say you feel something crawling. Interesting!	1.1783	0.03009	230	196	27	7
8158	How long have you been playing with you food before you eat it?	1.1782	0.03351	202	174	20	8
8159	I wouldn't have recommended the copperhead coil, myself.	1.1781	0.02756	247	208	34	5
8160	I see your insurance doesn’t cover ER visits...	1.1781	0.02873	247	210	30	7
8161	Take one pill the next time you have problems with your anaconda.	1.1781	0.02696	247	207	36	4
8162	Rupert, that is NOT a feather boa.	1.1781	0.02873	247	210	30	7
8163	Dr I am finding this whole free will thing a little suffocating, can you tell me what to do?	1.1781	0.02897	219	184	31	4
8164	Dr. I googled it..and it looks serious.	1.1781	0.02968	219	185	29	5
8165	I told you that if you didn't quit smoking I'd see you in here again	1.1780	0.02958	236	201	28	7
8166	I am writing you a referral for a good podiatrist.	1.1780	0.02958	236	201	28	7
8167	So you're sure this is not a fashion statement----	1.1780	0.02896	236	200	30	6
8168	I'm in a little bit of a twist.	1.1779	0.03212	208	178	23	7
8169	I am going to send you to a snake charmer specialist.	1.1779	0.02937	253	217	27	9
8170	You really should not get so wrapped up in your work. Try leaving it alone for a while.	1.1779	0.02536	253	210	41	2
8171	Have you considered compromising on just a leg?	1.1778	0.02848	225	189	32	4
8172	The comprehensive tests will be available in about 5 weeks!	1.1777	0.02850	242	205	31	6
8173	You better get used to it. This species breeds on mammals.	1.1776	0.02731	259	219	34	6
8174	It's a living!	1.1775	0.02934	231	196	29	6
8175	---AND WHEN DID YOU START FEELING THIS TIGHTNESS ON YOUR CHEST. BURKE LEON BLAUTOENTERPRISES@GMAIL.COM	1.1775	0.02934	231	196	29	6
8176	I’m sorry, we ran out of the old model of back braces.	1.1774	0.02919	248	212	28	8
8177	Oh dear, they mixed up the cages at the leech farm again.	1.1774	0.02805	248	210	32	6
8178	Take two aspirin and we'll see how you feel in the morning.	1.1774	0.02744	265	225	33	7
8179	You are beginning to sense your relationships are going nowhere."	1.1773	0.02956	220	186	29	5
8180	If we can resolve the laundry issues, they'll replace those tacky white gowns.	1.1772	0.02885	237	201	30	6
8181	I see under "occupation" you list "Python coating"	1.1772	0.02946	237	202	28	7
8182	Does your throat feel constricted?	1.1772	0.02588	254	212	39	3
8183	My lunch? Homemade wild mushroom risotto. I picked them myself. Why do you ask?	1.1772	0.02818	254	216	31	7
8184	Biggest Tape Worm I ever saw!	1.1770	0.02905	226	191	30	5
8185	Your ability to recoil is at fault.	1.1770	0.02522	243	201	41	1
8186	Doctor, I feel an odd tightness in my chest.	1.1769	0.02828	260	222	30	8
8187	Luckily, snakes are cold-blooded, so this is protecting you from our current heat wave."	1.1769	0.02775	260	221	32	7
8188	I'm referring you to a specialist named Mr. Hannah.	1.1767	0.02847	215	180	32	3
8189	Monty, finding the cure to your ailment IS the holy grail.	1.1767	0.03047	232	199	25	8
8190	You need a therapist to work on boundary issues.	1.1767	0.02791	232	195	33	4
8191	I'm going to recommend a specialist.	1.1767	0.02908	249	213	28	8
8192	At your last visit, I suggested you leave your position as a snake oil salesman and try something else. Now I have nothing to offer.	1.1767	0.02736	249	210	34	5
8193	It has a fancy name, but rest assured, it’s nothing but snake oil.	1.1767	0.02518	266	222	41	3
8194	A snake skin coat is normally made from a dead snake!	1.1765	0.02752	255	216	33	6
8195	Well, now you know why they call it "The Asphalt Jungle."	1.1765	0.02638	255	214	37	4
8196	This examination is wrapped up--your legs look fine!	1.1765	0.02812	238	201	32	5
8197	This might cost you an arm and a leg. Okay, maybe just a leg in your case"	1.1765	0.02682	238	199	36	3
8198	It's the newest advancement in medical technology. It's a green zero carbon footprint sphygmomanometer	1.1765	0.03015	204	172	28	4
8199	I'm going to prescribe a down-filled ski jacket. It should keep you warm without the nasty scaling.	1.1765	0.02808	255	217	31	7
8200	Soo ... It says here you were playing virtual Snakes n’ Ladders.	1.1765	0.02874	238	202	30	6
8201	Buy yourself a decent coat.	1.1765	0.02578	255	213	39	3
8202	Sorry it took a couple months to see you we have been busy with our appointments lately	1.1762	0.02657	261	220	36	5
8203	Your shortness of breath	1.1762	0.02765	261	222	32	7
8204	I have finally determined what seems to be slowing you down.	1.1762	0.02601	261	219	38	4
8205	I suggest the Love Doll at Amazon, various prices, various options for when you really need a hug next time. Don't know if Medicare will cover the cost.	1.1762	0.02768	244	206	33	5
8206	Have you tried going Keto?	1.1762	0.02768	244	206	33	5
8207	I've misplaced my laptop.	1.1762	0.03002	244	210	25	9
8208	This new snake oil will have you de-furled in due time.	1.1762	0.02960	227	193	28	6
8209	Tell me again how many of those purple pills you've been taking.	1.1762	0.02755	227	190	34	3
8210	Take two aspirin, call me in the morning.	1.1762	0.02803	210	175	33	2
8211	it is as if we have become one.	1.1761	0.02573	284	240	38	6
8212	Sir, I'm going to need you to wheeze a little louder. I'm a little hard of hearing.	1.1760	0.02666	250	210	36	4
8213	This called Florida man syndrome. You may feel the need to commit brainless crimes and import bales of cocaine.	1.1760	0.02897	250	214	28	8
8214	Were you playing with Mowgli?	1.1760	0.02780	233	196	33	4
8215	Sorry, my oath doesn’t allow me to treat this.	1.1758	0.02905	256	220	27	9
8216	Before I examine you..could you let me know what type of insuranve coverage do you have?	1.1758	0.02742	256	217	33	6
8217	Take 2 aspirins and call me if you start choking.	1.1758	0.02686	256	216	35	5
8218	Refrain from driving and get plenty of rest.	1.1758	0.02742	256	217	33	6
8219	No, John, this is nothing like a mink	1.1758	0.02798	256	218	31	7
8220	Tom's career as a Britney Spears impersonator was short-lived.	1.1758	0.02905	256	220	27	9
8221	I'll try to summarize how Theranos became Theranoose.	1.1757	0.03041	239	206	24	9
8222	We've tried the reptile route for your chills, but I'm gong to move you into some of the larger mammals.	1.1757	0.02863	239	203	30	6
8223	Any family history of cystic fibrosis?	1.1756	0.02756	262	223	32	7
8224	Like your HMO's claim adjuster just said, you will need to keep paying out pocket until you reach your deductible.	1.1756	0.02647	262	221	36	5
8225	Adds a whole new twist to the word copay.	1.1756	0.02756	262	223	32	7
8226	You’ll need to uncoil for me to treat that growth.	1.1756	0.02860	262	225	28	9
8227	Paranoid, no, but he does look like he's trying to shrink you.	1.1754	0.02659	285	243	34	8
8228	I'm afraid your rolls of fat have been snaking up on you	1.1753	0.02774	251	213	32	6
8229	How's your back holding up?	1.1753	0.02774	251	213	32	6
8230	I would like to start you on Turtlenecks for tension.	1.1753	0.02831	251	214	30	7
8231	Snakes alive! It's good to see you again.	1.1752	0.03023	234	201	25	8
8232	It's difficult -- clearly you ought to lose weight, but then that snake will really make you uncomfortable	1.1751	0.02823	217	182	32	3
8233	Well I'm glad to hear that you're no longer having trouble sleeping.	1.1751	0.03245	217	188	20	9
8234	Actually, it says here that that serpent is a musical instrument, invented in 1590 in France.	1.1751	0.03110	217	186	24	7
8235	We could give you a trial of nitroglycerine for the tightness you are experiencing.	1.1750	0.02852	240	204	30	6
8236	No, of course I don't think you a terrible boa...	1.1749	0.02746	263	224	32	7
8237	So will the wedding be in Brazil?	1.1749	0.02849	223	188	31	4
8238	I recommend that you, as care giver, do this bonding exercise with Monty three times a day after he eats.	1.1749	0.02849	223	188	31	4
8239	I'm prescribing three more weeks"	1.1748	0.02865	246	210	29	7
8240	I felt under pressure	1.1747	0.02706	269	229	33	7
8241	We saved a pretty penny with these cheaper monitoring devices	1.1746	0.02706	252	213	34	5
8242	I know how this sounds, but the best I can do is offer you some oil to rub all over the snake. One-time, low price.	1.1746	0.02764	252	214	32	6
8243	The biggest side effect is social stigma, but with sexting what it is these days...who knows?	1.1746	0.02820	252	215	30	7
8244	Does it hurt when swallows?	1.1745	0.03084	212	181	25	6
8245	I guess that'll teach you to order a boa from amazon.net.	1.1745	0.02824	235	199	31	5
8246	Doctor , I know I'm a little over weight but, I don't think this blood pressure cuff is to scale!	1.1745	0.02692	235	197	35	3
8247	Sorry, your appointment was a tight fit into my schedule	1.1745	0.02950	235	201	27	7
8248	I'm going to prescribe some pain killers. If the problem persists, don't call me. I'll be out of town.	1.1744	0.02667	258	218	35	5
8249	Mr. Tork, saying your skin is covered with scales is funny, but you had to know you would be directed to the wrong doctor!	1.1744	0.02723	258	219	33	6
8250	So it says here that you suffer from ophiophobia.	1.1743	0.02811	218	183	32	3
8251	Well the Caduceus won best dressed, so I don’t regret it.	1.1743	0.02779	241	204	32	5
8252	Doctor, I think I have a sore throat.	1.1743	0.02960	241	207	26	8
8253	Doc. are you sure all I need is a cough medicine?	1.1741	0.02907	224	190	29	5
8254	You say in the drag queen competition it was rethinking the show stopper?	1.1741	0.02766	224	188	33	3
8255	I suggest you try being a vegan.	1.1741	0.02912	247	212	27	8
8256	And do you like it, even one bit?	1.1741	0.02796	247	210	31	6
8257	I’m going to take a gander and assume that’s not haute couture.	1.1741	0.02737	247	209	33	5
8258	It's nothing to get your knickers in a twist about.	1.1739	0.02810	253	216	30	7
8259	I assume Taylor didn't like your apology.	1.1739	0.02754	253	215	32	6
8260	Much improved compared to last time. No flea bites.	1.1739	0.02989	230	197	26	7
8261	Your insurance doesn't cover cold-blodded cases.	1.1739	0.02810	253	216	30	7
8262	Sofia rocks - this is so funny, it made me crazy: Any shortness of breath? It's definitely not a rash. I said, "Ask yourself, not Asp yourself." The good news is, it's not an std. Just making sure we've squeezed every last dollar out of you.	1.1739	0.03113	230	199	22	9
8263	I see that you have a tightest about your body.	1.1737	0.02876	236	201	29	6
8264	Two aspirin should do the trick.	1.1736	0.02620	265	224	36	5
8265	No, you misunderstood, I did not mention compassionate therapy.	1.1736	0.02769	242	205	32	5
8266	It is a new breakthrough treatment!	1.1736	0.02890	242	207	28	7
8267	Cat got your tongue?	1.1736	0.02890	242	207	28	7
8268	Go home, take two aspirin, and call me in the morning.	1.1736	0.02890	242	207	28	7
8269	Unfortunately, we just laid off our snake charmer, but I'll call the morgue to see if they can help you instead.	1.1736	0.02642	242	203	36	3
8270	I think your serpent bracelet has gone viral.	1.1736	0.02769	242	205	32	5
8271	Mr. Boa, your constrictive clothing is the cause of your anxiety attacks.	1.1735	0.03015	219	187	26	6
8272	I need to listen to your heart.	1.1734	0.02666	248	209	35	4
8273	Adam an apple a day will keep me away	1.1734	0.02901	248	213	27	8
8274	You seem a little wrapped up. How about we schedule another appointment for next week?	1.1733	0.02755	225	189	33	3
8275	No, as long as it doesn't affect your work/life balance I am OK- just try not to over feed that thing...	1.1733	0.02682	225	188	35	2
8276	I ordered a boa online to jazz up my outfit, and got this.	1.1732	0.02712	231	194	34	3
8277	You say that breathing isn’t a problem. Have you had a colonoscopy yet?	1.1732	0.02913	231	197	28	6
8278	Thanks for now. If you have any questions or concerns we will be in contact.	1.1732	0.02780	231	195	32	4
8279	No surgeons are available that day.	1.1732	0.02712	231	194	34	3
8280	And don’t remove the restrictions before your follow up visit.	1.1731	0.02533	260	218	39	3
8281	I know that healthcare is putting the squeeze on people, but really......?	1.1730	0.02671	237	199	35	3
8282	The tests for vascular constriction have come back negative.	1.1730	0.02802	237	201	31	5
8283	What do you mean you have a squeezing sensation?	1.1729	0.02665	266	226	34	6
8284	But if your insurance refuses to cover it, don’t worry — there’s a generic available for a $1200 copay.	1.1729	0.03128	214	184	23	7
8285	You're overweight again; I told you to avoid large meals	1.1728	0.02879	243	208	28	7
8286	How long have you had this constricted feeling ?	1.1728	0.02879	243	208	28	7
8287	No, I can't see you again on Monday. That's my day at the Bronx Zoo.	1.1728	0.02758	243	206	32	5
8288	Would you say you're feeling a little verklempt?	1.1728	0.02567	243	203	38	2
8289	Hug a dog a call me in the morning.	1.1728	0.02696	243	205	34	4
8290	Don't worry, it's all a constriction of your mind.	1.1728	0.02819	243	207	30	6
8291	I'm no herpetologist, but I know herpes when I see 'em... And I see 'em.	1.1727	0.03138	220	190	22	8
8292	I’m going to refer you to a specialis, he’s a Vet	1.1727	0.02833	249	213	29	7
8293	An upper endoscopy will no doubt confirm a diagnosis of GERD!	1.1727	0.02833	249	213	29	7
8294	You are suffering from constriction of your core. It’s fatal	1.1727	0.02717	249	211	33	5
8295	You've called your wife a snake once too often.	1.1727	0.02833	249	213	29	7
8296	So at this health fare one salesperson ""our snake oil will do it" and the guy at the next booth shouted "why not try the snake?"	1.1727	0.02776	249	212	31	6
8297	You say you haven't lost any weight at all?	1.1727	0.02945	249	215	25	9
8298	Well, I guess I heard what I wanted to hear when the nurse said something about herpetology.	1.1726	0.03017	226	194	25	7
8299	Yes, this is a perfectly normal way to get your blood pressure.	1.1726	0.02951	226	193	27	6
8300	Hi, I am Dr. Clark's resident.	1.1726	0.03017	226	194	25	7
8301	So you're saying you feel stifled in following these new, exotic fashion trends	1.1723	0.02915	238	204	27	7
8302	In my professional opinion your days (dare I say hours) are numbered.	1.1721	0.02809	244	208	30	6
8303	Mr. Hissy's infectious stomatitis has cleared up nicely. And I wish you'd put your pants on.	1.1721	0.03317	215	188	17	10
8304	This type of thing really snakes up on you	1.1720	0.02647	250	211	35	4
8305	Should I treat you or your pet snake?	1.1720	0.02879	250	215	27	8
8306	I'm afraid you're making an asp of yourself.	1.1719	0.02920	221	188	28	5
8307	So...when did you notice 'the constriction' ?" J.K.Fuller, Genoa, N	1.1719	0.02834	256	220	28	8
8308	That's the worst case of measles I've ever seen!	1.1719	0.02724	256	218	32	6
8309	Your blood pressure is 130 over 85. Have you had your colonoscopy?	1.1717	0.02825	233	198	30	5
8310	You're the first two-headed snake with legs I've ever treated.	1.1717	0.02825	233	198	30	5
8311	Well, your weight loss is working. Would you prefer a less affectionate pet?	1.1717	0.02825	233	198	30	5
8312	two doses of Thorazine should take care of this	1.1715	0.02716	239	202	33	4
8313	I thought I had it all under control Doc.	1.1714	0.02676	245	207	34	4
8314	I don’t know if Obama care covers snake sharmers; however, Trump’s health care will cover your precondition.	1.1714	0.02857	245	210	28	7
8315	I have to recommend other ways to lose weight.	1.1714	0.02798	245	209	30	6
8316	Yours is the very first case of snakes I've seen	1.1713	0.02869	251	216	27	8
8317	Your wife told me she said "you aught to get a dog!"	1.1713	0.02869	251	216	27	8
8318	did you win?	1.1712	0.02824	257	221	28	8
8319	So which pharmacy would you like that sent to?	1.1712	0.02600	257	217	36	4
8320	Yoga, twice a day.	1.1712	0.02600	257	217	36	4
8321	That's not going to fix your Hot Flashes	1.1712	0.02837	222	188	30	4
8322	So you describe the chest pressure as a tight squeezing sensation that started shortly after you bought this exotic and highly fashionable jacket?	1.1712	0.02837	222	188	30	4
8323	Life sort of does that to you sometimes.	1.1712	0.02837	222	188	30	4
8324	Problems like this typically resolve in a few days, even faster if you wrap tighter	1.1711	0.02781	263	226	29	8
8325	I've been practicing gastroenterology for years, but I've never seen one of these things so tightly coiled externally.	1.1711	0.02675	263	224	33	6
8326	And, SECURITY FIRST tatooed on your forehead, got it!	1.1711	0.02564	263	222	37	4
8327	Here's a prescription. If you don't feel better, don't come back here because I have no idea what you have.	1.1711	0.02860	228	194	29	5
8328	Could you please localize where exactly you feel the healthcare system is squeezing you?	1.1711	0.02791	228	193	31	4
8329	I used to wear mink	1.1711	0.03180	228	199	19	10
8330	Yes, you are thinner… but you still weigh the same because the snake has been eating your dinner leftovers.	1.1710	0.02637	269	229	34	6
8331	It appears you have a “Staff” infection.	1.1709	0.02878	234	200	28	6
8332	Have you tried deep-breathing?	1.1709	0.02941	234	201	26	7
8333	I suggest that you step into a kiddie pool and wait for it to unwind.	1.1709	0.02878	234	200	28	6
8334	So you say you sat on Satan?	1.1709	0.02748	234	198	32	4
8335	Next time, ask him what's in that drink, and say "No" with a bit more conviction . . .	1.1709	0.02941	234	201	26	7
8336	I can't help you if your employer thinks it's rubber.	1.1709	0.02680	234	197	34	3
8337	I don't have prescriptions for magic tricks gone astray?	1.1708	0.02893	240	206	27	7
8338	Sir, it’s simple - stop dressing like a turd.	1.1708	0.02893	240	206	27	7
8339	So you said the symptoms started before or after you started banking?	1.1706	0.02566	252	212	37	3
8340	Well, yes and no- you can be a mobile home for Charlie and forgo the cage, but these mishaps still won't be fully covered.	1.1706	0.02845	211	178	30	3
8341	Does this so-called 'pressure' wake you overnight?	1.1705	0.02760	258	221	30	7
8342	Well, at least you’re keeping warm.	1.1705	0.02611	264	224	35	5
8343	Just relax and the constipation will be gone in no time.	1.1704	0.02896	223	190	28	5
8344	OK. Let me get this straight. Ever since you’ve come back from a trip to the Amazon, on a ship called “DeNial”, you’ve had shortness of breath and a feeling of constriction.	1.1704	0.02826	223	189	30	4
8345	Just cut-one then, he’ll leave you alone”	1.1703	0.03106	229	199	21	9
8346	Your symptoms are caused by an underlying stress and anxiety. How much do you exercise?	1.1703	0.02980	229	197	25	7
8347	Sir, there are no humans allowed in the office.	1.1702	0.02737	235	199	32	4
8348	I'm guessing that you're a Snake Charmer who is ALL wrapped-up in your work?	1.1702	0.02929	235	202	26	7
8349	Your feet are pretty swollen. I’d recommend tennis shoes.	1.1702	0.02670	235	198	34	3
8350	Had you noticed any snakes in your corporate job	1.1701	0.02882	241	207	27	7
8351	'I've always believed if you really like something gopher it	1.1701	0.02821	241	206	29	6
8352	Thighness In The Chest -- Cool! They told me about that in medical school!	1.1701	0.02759	241	205	31	5
8353	Hmmm, this seems to be just in your head.	1.1701	0.02941	241	208	25	8
8354	How long have you had this Kaa-off?	1.1700	0.02618	253	214	35	4
8355	To be honest we didn't spend a lot of time with reptiles in vet school, generally they're quite shy, so what's the problem?	1.1700	0.02618	253	214	35	4
8356	So you say you mistook this for a feather boas?	1.1700	0.02677	253	215	33	5
8357	I'm looking at a health plan that doesn't cover Khanna strophic events	1.1700	0.02792	253	217	29	7
8358	I’m going to recommend a low sodium diet.”	1.1699	0.03193	206	178	21	7
8359	You say that your wife doesn't hug you enough.	1.1699	0.02523	259	218	38	3
8360	Well, he likes you. Got a problem with that?	1.1699	0.02804	259	223	28	8
8361	I thought it would help me lose weight. My mistake.	1.1699	0.02750	259	222	30	7
8362	In Vet school, we call this Intrusive Owner Syndrome.	1.1698	0.03203	212	184	20	8
8363	So, your Pythonidae hurts?	1.1697	0.03075	218	188	23	7
8364	When your adjustment is complete, please slither back into the gown.	1.1697	0.02786	218	184	31	3
8365	Give it to me coiled, Doc.	1.1697	0.02683	277	238	31	8
8366	Does it hurt when I do this?	1.1697	0.02480	277	234	39	4
8367	You probably can't fornicate in this condition, but do eliminate apples. Maybe that will help.	1.1696	0.02968	230	198	25	7
8368	Again Steve? I was on my jog.	1.1695	0.02792	236	201	30	5
8369	You're wrapped-up in toxic thoughts. Here's my script to see a psychiatrist."	1.1695	0.02918	236	203	26	7
8370	The doctor will see you now. Oh wait he's already here, my apologies.	1.1695	0.02918	236	203	26	7
8371	I see you've overcome white coat syndrome since your last visit.	1.1694	0.02810	242	207	29	6
8372	I am sure that I prescribed "bow" tie !!	1.1694	0.02930	242	209	25	8
8373	You have what we call "exo-bowels".	1.1694	0.02621	242	204	35	3
8374	Don’t tread on me, it’s health care reform!	1.1694	0.02685	242	205	33	4
8375	You Jehovah's witnesses are out of control	1.1694	0.02988	242	210	23	9
8376	I actually didn’t get to watch most of the game.	1.1694	0.02825	248	213	28	7
8377	You really should quit smoking, Dan. Your lungs are a bit constricted.	1.1694	0.02707	248	211	32	5
8378	I see from your chart that you have put on some weight. You need to get a tighter hold on this problem.	1.1694	0.02520	248	208	38	2
8379	I like to use CeraVe myself and you can pick that up without a prescription.	1.1694	0.02584	248	209	36	3
8380	Says here you were trying to grow your own Botox’	1.1694	0.02825	248	213	28	7
8381	Looks like you have snake-loopus	1.1693	0.02667	254	216	33	5
8382	It's nothing to worry about, Mr. Smith. I'm writing you a prescription to get you uncoiled.	1.1693	0.02608	254	215	35	4
8383	You appear to be starved for affection.	1.1692	0.02364	266	222	43	1
8384	This one is even better than the Keto Diet".	1.1692	0.02537	266	225	37	4
8385	Hmm... I not sure I can give you a sick note Mr Adams	1.1691	0.02504	272	230	38	4
8386	I'm going to refer you to the reptile house at the zoo"	1.1691	0.03104	207	178	23	6
8387	I'm not sure what you mean by "Me too."	1.1689	0.03062	219	189	23	7
8388	No...............I am not trying to sell you snake oil!!	1.1689	0.02922	219	187	27	5
8389	Just tell the pharmacist it's not my handwriting, it's in parseltongue.	1.1689	0.02941	225	193	26	6
8390	The test results conclude	1.1688	0.03019	231	200	23	8
8391	I'm going to have to refer you to my competitor.	1.1688	0.02689	231	195	33	3
8392	Now Mr Regal, I need to ask who initiated this- act? You or the snake ?, And is it a he, she, they...?	1.1688	0.02781	237	202	30	5
8393	Take one tablet by mouth twice daily for 7 days	1.1687	0.02756	249	213	30	6
8394	Your bloodwork came back clean, but nonetheless here's a prescription. If your shortness of breath doesn't improve in two weeks, come back to see me.	1.1687	0.02697	249	212	32	5
8395	I'm going to write you something so he'll calm down a bit but that's the most I can do for you.	1.1687	0.02697	249	212	32	5
8396	Good news: these new weight loss schemes can be very effective. Bad news: this one is definitely deadly.	1.1687	0.02814	249	214	28	7
8397	You said you didn't want a Lap-Band.	1.1687	0.02697	249	212	32	5
8398	This is my new squeeze, but I am not sure how to be more interactive	1.1686	0.02715	255	218	31	6
8399	Your belly fat index seems a little high.	1.1686	0.02881	255	221	25	9
8400	It might work for RuPaul but I don’t think it’s a good choice for you.	1.1686	0.02563	261	221	36	4
8401	I know you're trying to avoid big pharma, but 2 Advil would have been a more effective fever reducer.	1.1684	0.02483	285	242	38	5
8402	I presume your weight loss is due to your gastric bypass.	1.1683	0.03070	202	173	24	5
8403	I think Paleo makes sense for some people, but in this case I think medication is warranted.	1.1682	0.02837	220	187	29	4
8404	I said a boa not a boa constrictor	1.1682	0.03116	220	191	21	8
8405	When I suggested that you get a Comfort Animal, I told you to look for fur or hair. So I can't help you with choking.	1.1681	0.02861	226	193	28	5
8406	We are trying out new scales.	1.1681	0.02720	226	191	32	3
8407	Excuse me for asking, but we need to know if this is your first visit here	1.1681	0.03007	232	201	23	8
8408	Have you ever tried Lucky Charms?	1.1681	0.02747	232	197	31	4
8409	Well, James, you have become far too wrapped up in your job.	1.1681	0.02639	238	201	34	3
8410	Well, mr. Irwin, I'm afraid were in a legal bind. Trouble is, we need an exception from animal care and use requirements. Meanwhile, we can give you a new opioid, Desuvia, to help with the pain.	1.1681	0.03015	238	207	22	9
8411	I think you’re just feeling a bit anxious about something. Here’s a prescription for something to help you sleep.	1.1681	0.02833	238	204	28	6
8412	I think you need to go on statins.	1.1680	0.02728	244	208	31	5
8413	I think it's the ferenomes in your after shave.	1.1680	0.02627	250	212	34	4
8414	Apply liberal amounts of my special snake oil twice a day for a month.	1.1680	0.02804	250	215	28	7
8415	...but I'm afraid the evidence-based treatments only pertain to internal fauna.	1.1680	0.02804	250	215	28	7
8416	I feel an unusual constriction about my chest	1.1679	0.02666	262	224	32	6
8417	I seems you overdosed on your deworming medicine.	1.1679	0.02826	262	227	26	9
8418	Here's a prescription that should help give you some relief....you can go ahead and put your clothes on.	1.1679	0.02611	262	223	34	5
8419	Take this for pain and come back if it gets worse.	1.1679	0.02593	274	234	34	6
8420	The good news is your chicken pox is receding.	1.1675	0.03056	203	174	24	5
8421	I think it's something to do with your fear of sharks.	1.1674	0.03091	215	186	22	7
8422	I can't decide if you have frost bite or a snake bite.	1.1674	0.03036	221	191	23	7
8423	when's the last time you had your cholesterol checked? It's very important to your health you know...	1.1674	0.02897	221	189	27	5
8424	I have just the thing to remove this growth from your coils. You'll be slithering happily in no time." Doug Friedenberg dsf333@gmail.co	1.1674	0.02932	233	201	25	7
8425	As your doctor, I have to say that what is good for your boa this winter may not be good for you.	1.1674	0.02736	233	198	31	4
8426	But at least you don't have to tie these behind your back.	1.1674	0.02759	239	204	30	5
8427	I completely get it that you’re soulmates, but the mating part has me baffled.	1.1674	0.02884	239	206	26	7
8428	I’m gonna have to refer you to the nearby veterinary hospital.	1.1674	0.03003	239	208	22	9
8429	I'm referring you to a Ophidiophobia specialist. on our medical group .my practice is limited to Herpetophobia	1.1673	0.02778	245	210	29	6
8430	Malingering	1.1673	0.02778	245	210	29	6
8431	What, cat got your tongue?	1.1673	0.02838	245	211	27	7
8432	Take two aspirin, go on a diet, and call me in the morning.	1.1673	0.02896	245	212	25	8
8433	Don't worry about it---it's just our reduced cost alternative to liposuction.	1.1673	0.02717	245	209	31	5
8434	Doctor, I always suspected my husband was a "Snake in the grass," but maybe we need a separation.	1.1673	0.02736	251	215	30	6
8435	So when did you first notice it, Mrs Quigly?	1.1673	0.02580	257	218	35	4
8436	They say python stew tastes like chicken.	1.1673	0.02620	269	230	33	6
8437	Can you tell me 1-10 the size snake we have at this moment?	1.1673	0.02672	269	231	31	7
8438	All right, Mr. Serpentine, just take all of this prescription, and your digestive issues should clear right up.	1.1673	0.02584	275	235	34	6
8439	Please, tell me more about your fear of intimacy.	1.1667	0.02698	228	193	32	3
8440	Apiphobia. Sciophobia. Iconophobia. Kinetophobia. Gamophobia. But congratulations - no more ophidiophobia.	1.1667	0.02707	246	210	31	5
8441	How do you like our new snake wrap therapy?	1.1667	0.02657	234	198	33	3
8442	He's just a bit sleep-deprived...the last guy cuddled him and sang lullabies.	1.1667	0.02725	234	199	31	4
8443	I'm gonna put you back on C++.	1.1667	0.02840	252	218	26	8
8444	Well, I think it's a case of sepenteria.	1.1667	0.02873	240	207	26	7
8445	I see you	1.1667	0.02707	246	210	31	5
8446	I warned you that your intestines would rebel against that diet of yours.	1.1667	0.02619	240	203	34	3
8447	Ten percent of all doctors recommend squeezing for weight loss.	1.1667	0.02625	228	192	34	2
8448	Oh, it's just another encounter with a rare leg-hair eating python.	1.1667	0.02861	216	184	28	4
8449	My own brand of the oil should provide quicker relief.	1.1667	0.02861	216	184	28	4
8450	It's nothing to get chocked up about.	1.1667	0.02741	258	222	29	7
8451	That's not a snake skin coat.	1.1667	0.02935	216	185	26	5
8452	We're waiting for a taser. Don't worry, you will feel great when you wake up!	1.1660	0.02692	265	228	30	7
8453	In Russia, the scales step on you.	1.1660	0.02470	265	224	38	3
8454	The party theme was early 2000's Britney.	1.1660	0.02638	265	227	32	6
8455	It says you’re here for a squeezing sensation around your core? Did you mean chest?	1.1660	0.02528	265	225	36	4
8456	Your snake has frostbites all over, sadly we need to take it off you	1.1660	0.02716	253	217	30	6
8457	You have an excessive case of worms and I am giving you a prescription for a snake charmer.	1.1660	0.02773	253	218	28	7
8458	Have you thought of a less dangerous coat?	1.1660	0.02635	247	210	33	4
8459	Here, fill this prescription for snake oil and seems again in a week.	1.1660	0.02738	241	206	30	5
8460	Get some exercise and call me in a month or so.	1.1660	0.02674	241	205	32	4
8461	I've entered your symptoms into the algorithm, and it's definitely your heart.	1.1660	0.02800	241	207	28	6
8462	Take two stool softeners and forget your pet!	1.1659	0.02687	229	194	32	3
8463	I get a lot of these, but I've never seen one this long before.	1.1659	0.02873	223	191	27	5
8464	People dick around on WebMD and get all sorts of crazy ideas in their heads. Don't worry, it happens. You're just dehydrated. I'm writing up a prescription for a liter of Gatorade, you fucking baby. You idiot bitch.	1.1659	0.03201	217	190	18	9
8465	I think it’s time you start shedding some skin.	1.1659	0.02772	217	184	30	3
8466	so...only when you're watching Murder She Wrote.	1.1654	0.02645	272	234	31	7
8467	Unwind and don't wear your pet too tight."	1.1654	0.02629	266	228	32	6
8468	Mr. Jones, I’m afraid this is a suffocating relationship, or you may suffer from separation anxiety	1.1654	0.02404	266	224	40	2
8469	I’m going to write you a prescription for a human laxative.	1.1654	0.02829	260	226	25	9
8470	Don't worry Ms. Morelia , We can remove that head and those pesky legs while we are doing your tummy tuck.	1.1654	0.02776	260	225	27	8
8471	It's the best organic remedy for stress relief	1.1654	0.02553	260	221	35	4
8472	First things first - let's see how we can get your behind wiped. Then we'll work on maintaining nutrition.	1.1654	0.02706	254	218	30	6
8473	Even with the hissing, I doubt it will keep the flu bug away.	1.1654	0.02528	254	215	36	3
8474	I’ve been having difficulty breathing!	1.1653	0.02532	242	204	36	2
8475	Doctor, I’ve heard about your reputation as a snake oil salesmen but don’t you think this is going too far.	1.1652	0.02790	224	191	29	4
8476	Her name is Alice and all I said was you might want to do keto.	1.1651	0.02982	218	188	24	6
8477	Mr. Slytherin, you are suffering from a case of Parseltongue.	1.1648	0.02686	273	236	29	8
8478	Relax, don't e so uptight	1.1648	0.02673	267	230	30	7
8479	Stop eating so many apples and you'll be fine.	1.1647	0.02616	249	212	33	4
8480	A little more comfy than an ankle bracelet, right?	1.1647	0.02795	249	215	27	7
8481	You’ll be greatly relieved once we run the snake through you!	1.1646	0.02717	243	208	30	5
8482	This prescription is for you...not the snake.	1.1646	0.02957	243	212	22	9
8483	When you applied for the pole dancing job Ms. La Tour, this wasn't the boa they meant!	1.1646	0.02717	243	208	30	5
8484	Before we had back to the operating room.. What insurance policy did you say you have?	1.1646	0.02589	243	206	34	3
8485	I am sorry. My specialty is ENT.	1.1646	0.02759	237	203	29	5
8486	I’m prescribing a broad-spectrum antibiotic, you may not feel better for 2-3 days.	1.1645	0.02735	231	197	30	4
8487	Our next appointment in serpentology is in two months.	1.1644	0.02779	225	192	29	4
8488	Doctors Who Circum-prescribe Now, Mr. Kellerman, I would like to suggest that a colleague of mine, head of our psychoanalytic department, take a look into your case to discuss this "imagination" of yours. By the way, where are your pants and shoes?	1.1644	0.02706	225	191	31	3
8489	Sorry" Your workmen's compensation policy only covers 4 leg animals.	1.1644	0.02969	219	189	24	6
8490	He's trying to shed!	1.1643	0.03022	213	184	23	6
8491	I'm prescribing a medium-sized python. As you can see, it will do wonders for your back"	1.1643	0.03079	207	179	22	6
8492	Yes, I imagine it is quite warm.	1.1642	0.02611	268	230	32	6
8493	Doc, I've been feeling a little bound lately...	1.1640	0.02727	250	215	29	6
8494	I'm afraid you have a nasty case of 'Snake-wrap'. We can treat it, but no more Everglades vacations for you.	1.1639	0.02888	244	212	24	8
8495	Your midsection seems to be constricted.	1.1639	0.02888	244	212	24	8
8496	I like snake skin coat but I wanted to stay politically correct	1.1639	0.02748	238	204	29	5
8497	I'm not qualified to tell you that it wears like a poncho, but I am concerned that it's a tad too constrictive...given your blood pressure and circulation ailments.	1.1639	0.02812	238	205	27	6
8498	We can schedule your snakeectomy procedure next Wednesday. Takes time to collect the rats and mice!	1.1639	0.02616	238	202	33	3
8499	You’re not Britney, b*itch	1.1639	0.02936	238	207	23	8
8500	Wouldn't a scarf be easier on your feet?	1.1638	0.02792	232	199	28	5
8501	Choked up about the diagnosis, I see.	1.1638	0.02858	232	200	26	6
8502	The psychiatric report concludes that you have a devishly twisted personality disorder.	1.1637	0.02695	226	192	31	3
8503	What is that spa’s name again?	1.1637	0.02838	226	194	27	5
8504	You have what is known as the serpent syndrome, and the only prescription known to work is learning how to play the Pungi	1.1637	0.02767	226	193	29	4
8505	let's put it this way--if it were me, i'd start jerking off	1.1636	0.02717	275	239	27	9
8506	Mmhmm. Well, the New England Journal just published an article refuting that very premise in particular circumstances like yours. An apple a day does not keep the doctor away.	1.1636	0.02548	269	230	34	5
8507	After seeing Milton Berle's nothing surprises me.	1.1634	0.02677	257	221	30	6
8508	This medication should help you , Mr. Laocoon.	1.1634	0.02733	257	222	28	7
8509	I wouldn't do any dancing for awhile.	1.1633	0.02596	251	214	33	4
8510	A but conztricting	1.1633	0.02758	245	211	28	6
8511	No guarantees, but let's try a new attorney general.	1.1633	0.02697	245	210	30	5
8512	your DNA shows ancestor Medusa gene.......	1.1633	0.02634	245	209	32	4
8513	So it says here you suffer from anxiety. Have you considered that being the root of your discomfort?	1.1632	0.02606	239	203	33	3
8514	Don't worry, the same thing happened to Britney Spears as well	1.1631	0.02781	233	200	28	5
8515	It will only tighten to enforce Python Correctness if you use transgressive terms such as 'meritocracy,' 'masculinity,' and 'mongoose.'	1.1631	0.03096	233	205	18	10
8516	I recommend a salve for your pressure sores.	1.1630	0.02453	276	235	37	4
8517	I'm writing you a prescription for some charm therapy to help remedy your odd condition.	1.1630	0.02756	227	194	29	4
8518	Your snakeabetes is getting worse...	1.1630	0.02826	227	195	27	5
8519	For the last time, I can assure you that this is no longer part of the role play.	1.1630	0.02756	227	194	29	4
8520	Now this diagnosis shouldn't significantly affect your life.	1.1629	0.02650	221	187	32	2
8521	No one likes your new fashion choice; especially the snake.	1.1628	0.02778	258	224	26	8
8522	The results speak for itself, this alternative new diet plan seems to be working out.	1.1628	0.02996	215	186	23	6
8523	Of course Mr. Purdue, I can prescribe something for the discomfort.	1.1628	0.02551	258	220	34	4
8524	Next time hold out for the feather.	1.1628	0.02492	258	219	36	3
8525	As your neck becomes less inflamed, she’ll adjust the manipulation—well, more like serpenulation in this case.	1.1627	0.02525	252	214	35	3
8526	It's known in the medical world as Samuel L. Jackson syndrome. These things sneak up on you, next thing you know, it's hard to shake 'em off.	1.1627	0.02706	252	217	29	6
8527	Your holistic healer might be on to something, but I'm afraid he hasn't ironed out all the kinks.	1.1627	0.02896	209	179	26	4
8528	It's just a little flu bug, take two asprins and call me in a week if you havn't got rid of it.	1.1626	0.02624	246	210	32	4
8529	I must say, that is a different way to lose weight.	1.1625	0.02663	240	205	31	4
8530	I warned you about online dating" Leslie Chain, Tigress@KatrinasKritters.or	1.1625	0.02790	240	207	27	6
8531	Because of the expense of laundry services, we have adopted a holistic gown policy	1.1625	0.02596	240	204	33	3
8532	Now Eve,didn't you have a problem with a snake a couple thousand years ago?	1.1624	0.02835	234	202	26	6
8533	Our Pharma Rep ran out of free pens.	1.1624	0.02770	234	201	28	5
8534	What seems to be the problem?" "I'm all choked up.	1.1624	0.02835	234	202	26	6
8535	Hello	1.1624	0.02835	234	202	26	6
8536	The results say you do have something constricting your breathing, but we'll have to conduct some more tests to find out what is causing the problem.	1.1623	0.02814	228	196	27	5
8537	This is what happens when muggles try to learn Parseltongue	1.1623	0.02882	228	197	25	6
8538	Thanks Obama... Am I right or am I right?	1.1623	0.02674	265	229	29	7
8539	Yeah, you obviously turned a curve. No constriction in either neck or chest region.	1.1622	0.02560	222	187	34	1
8540	You seem to want to be Cleopatra.	1.1622	0.02713	259	224	28	7
8541	Maybe a tatoo is an option that would relieve the constipation.	1.1621	0.02577	253	216	33	4
8542	Give him three bananas and call me in the morning.	1.1619	0.02737	247	213	28	6
8543	Sore throat, upper and lower abdominal pain and restrictive breathing. It sounds like you need the ER.	1.1619	0.03038	210	182	22	6
8544	It’s just that time of year. You know, when everyone needs a hug. Lin Axamethy Floyd Media, PA	1.1619	0.02803	210	179	28	3
8545	So we can unwind you from the cobra, but it's a no on the snakeskin shoes.	1.1618	0.02935	204	175	25	4
8546	So you say you have a need for being embraced?	1.1617	0.02624	235	200	32	3
8547	Patrick?	1.1617	0.02665	266	230	29	7
8548	For a serious case of human pox, there are many routes we can take...	1.1616	0.02871	229	198	25	6
8549	"I said you had a lisp	1.1616	0.02663	229	195	31	3
8550	I think the problem is, the actual Bible verse is , “Satan get behind me” and not, “Satan get around me”.	1.1616	0.02803	229	197	27	5
8551	I’d welcome a second opinion—just not hers.	1.1616	0.02734	229	196	29	4
8552	"At $50 for the first four feet and $25 for each additional foot, I calculate you get $175, plus a $150 bonus if we can show she's bearing eggs."	1.1615	0.02648	260	224	30	6
8553	It’s a panic attach. I suggest you see a psychiatrist	1.1615	0.02591	260	223	32	5
8554	I'm writing you a prescription for snake oil. let me get this straight you are having some tightness in your chest	1.1614	0.02849	223	192	26	5
8555	Sorry, the circus did not work out...	1.1613	0.02632	279	242	29	8
8556	I'll never understand disco fashion.	1.1612	0.02566	273	235	32	6
8557	I'm sorry sir, your anaconda wants some	1.1612	0.02890	242	211	23	8
8558	All I can legally prescribe is a wall.	1.1610	0.02908	267	236	19	12
8559	Good news is that it constricts your appetite; bad news is it isn't poisonous.	1.1610	0.02938	236	206	22	8
8560	Well, looks like you’re up a sphincter, but everything else looks normal.	1.1610	0.02753	205	174	29	2
8561	Plus, with a little exercise and proper diet, you should lose those extra pounds in mere days.	1.1609	0.02505	230	194	35	1
8562	It’s not the worst case of herping I’ve seen.	1.1606	0.02656	249	214	30	5
8563	You are just too wrapped up in you job.	1.1606	0.02776	249	216	26	7
8564	The hospital gown was uncomfortable so I brought my own.	1.1606	0.02811	218	187	27	4
8565	You’re its emotional support human? It’s a little backed up. I might have to snake it out.	1.1605	0.02758	243	210	27	6
8566	This is one dumb cartoon. Please stop these stupid cartoon caption contests because they are scams!	1.1605	0.02995	243	214	19	10
8567	Sir, we're a respectable practice - go try the internet for snake oil.	1.1604	0.02593	268	231	31	6
8568	It appears that you have an an anaconda infection wrapping around your throat.	1.1603	0.02802	237	205	26	6
8569	it's nothing that 90 days of a nice painkiller can't cure	1.1603	0.02457	262	223	36	3
8570	With your allergies to wool and fur worse in winter, I understand your need to keep warm!	1.1602	0.02780	231	199	27	5
8571	there are a lot safer ways to keep warm!	1.1602	0.02913	231	201	23	7
8572	You seem to be all wrapped up in details. You should try to loosen up a bit.	1.1600	0.02606	225	191	32	2
8573	I’m sorry; it’s non-ouroboros.	1.1598	0.02686	244	210	29	5
8574	Sir, I'm afraid your idea to save on your heating bill doesn't make much sssssssssense.	1.1598	0.02748	244	211	27	6
8575	Take two aspirins and come back in six months.	1.1598	0.02748	244	211	27	6
8576	No- we don't do physical exams much these days. I think you have cancer, so I'm sending you to a specialist.	1.1598	0.02868	244	213	23	8
8577	it's 2019. an apple a day, doesn't, keep the doctor away.	1.1597	0.02854	238	207	24	7
8578	Another 10 years it will make a fine suit.	1.1595	0.02480	257	219	35	3
8579	Your frostbite on your toes could have been prevented if you had adopted both siblings!!	1.1595	0.02769	232	200	27	5
8580	I concur.	1.1595	0.02769	232	200	27	5
8581	Your astrological report for your condition says snake men are romantic, charming and have a sense of humor.	1.1595	0.02631	232	198	31	3
8582	I see here that you had an emergency aspendectomy in 1994, but it seems that surgery was not entirely successful.	1.1595	0.02769	232	200	27	5
8583	We'll run some tests and I promise we'll get to the root of the problem.	1.1594	0.02813	207	177	27	3
8584	Yep, your insurance only covers eastern medicine this year, so give Arnie about two weeks and will have you deconstipated in no time!	1.1594	0.02576	251	215	32	4
8585	This is a pretty restrictive diet.	1.1593	0.02814	226	195	26	5
8586	Waiting for biopsy results is pretty tough for most patients	1.1593	0.02628	270	234	29	7
8587	Doctor, this is going to constrict your practice.	1.1592	0.02675	245	211	29	5
8588	I would recommend shedding a few pounds	1.1592	0.02737	245	212	27	6
8589	We'll just use a leaf blower to unwind it like a party horn.	1.1592	0.02798	245	213	25	7
8590	I'm glad you contacted me. This new OCPD medicine is definitely right for you.	1.1592	0.02481	245	208	35	2
8591	Breathe in, breathe out...	1.1592	0.02737	245	212	27	6
8592	Have you heard about ‘An apple a day?’	1.1592	0.02737	245	212	27	6
8593	About that tightness in you chest !!	1.1592	0.02675	245	211	29	5
8594	Perhaps you are on your phone too much.	1.1591	0.02787	220	189	27	4
8595	We have a problem. Our lawyers insist you sign a waiver allowing me to kill your pet snake.	1.1591	0.02787	220	189	27	4
8596	It's quite normal to have a tight feeling in your chest when you're having a cold...	1.1588	0.02690	233	200	29	4
8597	No, seriously, trust in ME	1.1588	0.02690	233	200	29	4
8598	I see your feeling contrained, can I help you?	1.1586	0.02732	227	195	28	4
8599	Recently changed your laundry detergent?	1.1585	0.02602	246	211	31	4
8600	The culprit of the circulation problem is your new fashion accessory.	1.1585	0.02787	246	214	25	7
8601	I'm referring you to a flautist Uptown; that should relieve the pressure.	1.1584	0.02776	221	190	27	4
8602	Mr. Slitheran you need a specialist I'm referring you to Dr. Potter...	1.1583	0.02831	240	209	24	7
8603	Has there been any accidents that I should know about?	1.1583	0.02769	240	208	26	6
8604	I take it you are the latest von Trapp babysitter?	1.1583	0.02581	259	223	31	5
8605	We are working on finding the cause of a mysterious disease. Victims suffer shortness of breath and we think you could be a perfect test subject.	1.1581	0.02539	234	199	33	2
8606	I'm afraid your health insurance is constrictive for this.	1.1581	0.02747	234	202	27	5
8607	As your doctor, I have to tell you that I have concerns about this tight relationship you have developed.	1.1581	0.02677	253	219	28	6
8608	I'd say it's a case of being snake bit.	1.1581	0.02791	253	221	24	8
8609	Hmm, I think this is a case of lead poisoning.	1.1579	0.02859	228	198	24	6
8610	Mongoosol does have side effects, the primary one being a reduced ess drive.	1.1579	0.02575	228	194	32	2
8611	Keep trying the apples, meanwhile I’m going to give you a prescription for moth balls.	1.1579	0.02717	247	214	27	6
8612	We're okay for now, but call me if you come out of your comfort level.	1.1579	0.02575	228	194	32	2
8613	So tell me again... why you thought a boa constrictor was a good idea for a pet	1.1577	0.02630	241	207	30	4
8614	I recoil at your stupidity.	1.1577	0.02820	241	210	24	7
8615	I wouldn't recommend constricting your diet any tighter	1.1577	0.02630	241	207	30	4
8616	I tried to bring Martha to my nephew’s wedding in Iowa, but I was kicked off the flight.	1.1577	0.02764	222	191	27	4
8617	Eating someone on the Jenny Craig' diet is not the same as being on the Jenny Craig diet.	1.1577	0.02837	222	192	25	5
8618	I'm afraid it's gone internal, sir.	1.1574	0.02600	235	201	31	3
8619	I'm suggesting we monitor your condition for the next 10 days, so I'll change your compress as soon as the monitor lizard arrives.	1.1574	0.02802	235	204	25	6
8620	Can you speak or cat got your tongue?	1.1573	0.02583	248	213	31	4
8621	I take it that you are not too vegan to want to remove your "friend"	1.1573	0.02766	248	216	25	7
8622	I'm going to prescribe some Advil for the pain...	1.1573	0.02519	248	212	33	3
8623	You might feel a small pain in your anus, stomach and back.	1.1573	0.02645	248	214	29	5
8624	After some tests your body seems to be constricted and I recommend a daily dose of three mice a day to relieve the pain.	1.1572	0.02710	229	197	28	4
8625	There has got to be a less constrictive way break to curb my addictions.”	1.1571	0.02675	261	227	27	7
8626	It was actually your wife's idea -- she said you were complaining about not getting enough hugs.	1.1570	0.02987	242	214	18	10
8627	Now, wreathe in ... wreathe out , wreathe in ... wreathe out	1.1570	0.02825	223	193	25	5
8628	Adam, you shouldn’t have tried to stop Eve from eating that apple. Joshua Halsband , Southbury, CT	1.1570	0.02678	223	191	29	3
8629	It's the band! the speckled band.	1.1569	0.02771	255	223	24	8
8630	I said Bowel syndrome not Boa syndrome.	1.1568	0.02726	236	204	27	5
8631	Your mouse probably appears to be doing much better.	1.1568	0.02726	236	204	27	5
8632	Got the wrong astringent,eh!	1.1566	0.02510	249	213	33	3
8633	I'm writing you a referral to see a specialist named Mr. Hannah.	1.1566	0.02696	249	216	27	6
8634	Weighted blanks are one thing....	1.1565	0.02768	230	199	26	5
8635	For awhile I thought it was my neck cushion!	1.1565	0.02720	262	229	25	8
8636	As long as you don't got buns, hun, you should be okay.	1.1565	0.02825	262	231	21	10
8637	I didn't think I'd have to get totally snaked.	1.1564	0.02610	243	209	30	4
8638	You’re saying all you did was beat him at Hearthstone?	1.1564	0.02610	243	209	30	4
8639	Oh, keep your shirt on!	1.1564	0.02610	243	209	30	4
8640	When I am upset, I tend to experience a strange feeling of a surrounding danger	1.1564	0.02610	243	209	30	4
8641	I notice you’re not wearing any clothes. Was this a bad blind date?	1.1564	0.02610	243	209	30	4
8642	Maybe you shoulda worn clothes.	1.1562	0.02883	224	195	23	6
8643	So. How was the 21st-century treating you?	1.1562	0.02667	224	192	29	3
8644	This might actually be a situation where I would advise you to take three.	1.1562	0.02529	256	220	32	4
8645	I can't believe I ate the whole thing	1.1562	0.02952	224	196	21	7
8646	Unfortunately, we're starting to see a lot of this type of anhedonia around here.	1.1561	0.02509	237	202	33	2
8647	Are you worm enough?	1.1561	0.02715	237	205	27	5
8648	This is how I get swaddled now that Mommy has passed on.	1.1560	0.02626	250	216	29	5
8649	We need a guarantor. Hurry.	1.1560	0.02435	250	213	35	2
8650	This is where I tell most patients, "the Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun."	1.1560	0.02785	218	188	26	4
8651	I can give you an ice pack for that.	1.1559	0.02656	263	229	27	7
8652	We seem to be at an impasse here, Mr. Miller. Get this filled and give him the bottle.	1.1558	0.02544	231	197	32	2
8653	It's constricting quite a lot of blood.	1.1558	0.02688	231	199	28	4
8654	So, you say your blood pressure has been feeling a bit high today?	1.1558	0.02617	231	198	30	3
8655	When Adam was punished, I didn't realize his punishment was to become the snake	1.1557	0.02664	244	211	28	5
8656	This is extreme measures for someone who doesn’t want surgery!	1.1557	0.02467	244	208	34	2
8657	Your Gay Pride Parade boa is a bit to constricting,don't you think?	1.1557	0.02600	244	210	30	4
8658	My chest tightens up whenever my daughter's beau is around.	1.1557	0.02534	244	209	32	3
8659	You seem to have your healthcare all wrapped up.	1.1556	0.02579	257	222	30	5
8660	I'm going to refer you to a therapist- maybe she'll be able to squeeze the problem out of you.	1.1556	0.02580	225	192	31	2
8661	We recently switched to a Python-based treatment recommendation system.	1.1555	0.02704	238	206	27	5
8662	If he hisses,well you know,just pat him on the back.	1.1555	0.02638	238	205	29	4
8663	Yeah, sorry, didn't mean to kink shame you or anything, but wondering if you might be gay because it's a male snake is kind of the least of your problems right now.	1.1555	0.02769	238	207	25	6
8664	but baby its cold outside	1.1554	0.02735	251	219	25	7
8665	You've been catfished - it's going around.	1.1553	0.02848	219	190	24	5
8666	So, do you every have tightness of breath?	1.1553	0.02773	219	189	26	4
8667	Sorry, I hate snakes.	1.1553	0.02848	219	190	24	5
8668	Classic case of Constricting Boa condition.	1.1552	0.02746	232	201	26	5
8669	The more skin-to-skin you can do, the better.	1.1551	0.02525	245	210	32	3
8670	This exam is a wrap.	1.1551	0.02895	245	216	20	9
8671	Think of this like the oat milk equivalent of taking your blood pressure.	1.1550	0.02438	271	233	34	4
8672	Here's an Rx for an ace bandage you can pick up at CVS.	1.1549	0.02860	226	197	23	6
8673	Follow up with me in three two four weeks if it doesn't get better.	1.1548	0.02560	239	205	31	3
8674	You have the twisted body syndrome.	1.1548	0.02943	239	211	19	9
8675	I'm suggesting that you get it a pet. Come back and see me in a month..	1.1548	0.02606	252	218	29	5
8676	Mr McKenna, the pressure you feel is definitely not from an elephant sitting on your chest. Might it feel more like a python?	1.1545	0.02596	233	200	30	3
8677	You may not have considered an over the counter laxative Msiter Wilson but it certainly would have resulted in one less mouth to feed.	1.1545	0.02515	246	211	32	3
8678	Hey, wow! The secret loophole! No charge, then, obviously.	1.1544	0.02539	272	236	30	6
8679	It's up to you to extract the snake oil	1.1542	0.02707	227	196	27	4
8680	Yes, yes, taxes are squeezing the middle class.	1.1542	0.02481	240	205	33	2
8681	Walk it off, and you will be fine in no time.	1.1542	0.02550	240	206	31	3
8682	...and you say your watch is also stuck in the snake?	1.1542	0.02617	240	207	29	4
8683	You do seem wrapped too tight. Anyway, is it a therapy cobra or a just a mink alternative? PG. Ellicott City	1.1542	0.02617	240	207	29	4
8684	I'll refer you to a specialist. I didn't even take the herpetology course in med school.	1.1542	0.02409	240	204	35	1
8685	You have nothing to worry about. This should make you feel better in no time.	1.1542	0.02597	253	219	29	5
8686	Sir Mix a Lot would be proud.	1.1542	0.02828	253	223	21	9
8687	A few drops of Basilisk venom should do the trick.	1.1538	0.02656	234	202	28	4
8688	I’m afraid your tail coverage has lapsed.	1.1538	0.02685	273	240	24	9
8689	I see here your breathing constructed. I suggest you try to shake it off.	1.1538	0.02371	247	210	36	1
8690	I said you have clogged veins, not clogged drains.	1.1538	0.02919	234	206	20	8
8691	Listened to too much Taylor Swift have you?	1.1538	0.02919	234	206	20	8
8692	I'll give you this for your feather allergy but I can't help with your lost cat. All things must pass.	1.1538	0.02750	221	191	26	4
8693	I didn't prescribe THAT kind of a boa!	1.1538	0.02571	247	213	30	4
8694	Organic snake oil may cause shortness of breath.	1.1538	0.02674	221	190	28	3
8695	You seem to be comfortably constricted	1.1535	0.02587	254	220	29	5
8696	It's not a charming look	1.1535	0.02540	241	207	31	3
8697	It's been clinically proven to squeeze the truth out about your diet	1.1535	0.02607	241	208	29	4
8698	Is your Python release causing you any pain?	1.1535	0.02696	228	197	27	4
8699	When my nurse told you what to wear, she didn't realize that you had a pet snake named Johnny	1.1535	0.02696	228	197	27	4
8700	My attending physician will be here in a moment, but my initial diagnosis is ophidiophobia, for which we don't yet have a cure but some promising research with mice.	1.1535	0.02549	228	195	31	2
8701	I'ts quite normal to experience a feeling of constriction when starting this new medicine that I'm prescribing for you.	1.1535	0.02818	202	174	25	3
8702	Now how long have you been wrapped up?	1.1533	0.02424	261	224	34	3
8703	I warned you that your diet was too constrictive, and the problems are only going to snake around from here.	1.1532	0.02686	248	216	26	6
8704	Sir, have you not heard that an apple a day will keep the doctor away?	1.1532	0.02645	235	203	28	4
8705	But Cleopatra was a queen.	1.1532	0.02713	235	204	26	5
8706	We're going to do an X-ray, I'm giving you 16 prescriptions, and we'll ask you to come back for a follow-up in two weeks.	1.1532	0.02780	235	205	24	6
8707	You're headed for the last wound-up. You're not covered for pre-existing conditions.	1.1532	0.02883	222	194	22	6
8708	Chest pain and belly ache take an aspirin, and cage the boa expect to feel better.	1.1531	0.02759	209	180	26	3
8709	So second name is Kekule ?	1.1530	0.02500	268	232	31	5
8710	Snake cuddles	1.1529	0.02391	255	218	35	2
8711	Now that you're all warmed up.	1.1529	0.02695	255	223	25	7
8712	And I used to believe you were the only and last hope for humanity. Oh well.	1.1529	0.02788	242	212	23	7
8713	Take two aspirins for pain and call me in the morning.	1.1528	0.02685	229	198	27	4
8714	All your tests came out fine. It's a wrap. See you in a year, Mr Nagini.	1.1528	0.02539	229	196	31	2
8715	I see you are an avid follower of animal print fashion	1.1528	0.02685	229	198	27	4
8716	Is this a new technique for testing Blood Pressure?	1.1526	0.02551	249	215	30	4
8717	Stick to snakeskin loafers next time.	1.1525	0.02421	236	201	34	1
8718	This treatment can seem extreme. Whatever ounce of life you had for bipartisan politics will be gone. Are you ready?	1.1525	0.02703	236	205	26	5
8719	I'm going to recommend a few tests for tropical allergies.	1.1523	0.02838	243	214	21	8
8720	I'm sorry to say your rat face has truly done you in this time	1.1520	0.02604	250	217	28	5
8721	As I see it- your cobra shirt is wound a little too tight	1.1520	0.02604	250	217	28	5
8722	I think there is a bug in my Python code.	1.1520	0.02665	250	218	26	6
8723	Other than being a little snake-bit, you are quite healthy...	1.1519	0.02556	237	204	30	3
8724	My man! There's no reason to be so constricted around me. I'm the cool doctor!	1.1519	0.02692	237	206	26	5
8725	This should measure your blood pressure!	1.1519	0.02625	237	205	28	4
8726	I don't think TSA will buy the Siamese twins story.	1.1516	0.02886	244	216	19	9
8727	Take an aspirin and call me in the morning.	1.1516	0.02642	244	212	27	5
8728	And what about in your workplace?	1.1515	0.02592	231	199	29	3
8729	How many times do I have to tell you, your childhood dream of becoming a snake charmer will never be a reality	1.1515	0.02516	264	229	30	5
8730	I told him we should've used protection.	1.1515	0.02733	231	201	25	5
8731	Put on some pants, feed him regularly, and you’re good for the polar vortex.	1.1515	0.02516	264	229	30	5
8732	Your muscle's are doing great and you made a good friend"	1.1514	0.02759	218	189	25	4
8733	I'll order an MRT and we'll go from there.	1.1513	0.02681	238	207	26	5
8734	Normally the nurses and I like to guess why someone wouldn't list an emergency contact. Sadly for us, this doesn't leave much room for guesses.	1.1513	0.02747	238	208	24	6
8735	I sure can make him loosen his grip, Mr. Channing. See? Snake Oil Salesman isn't always a bad thing, sir!	1.1513	0.02747	238	208	24	6
8736	Oh fuck oh shit fuck oh god	1.1513	0.02811	238	209	22	7
8737	Mr. Anderson, some other patients of mine have responded well with using a CPAP machine. But just to be sure, I'm prescribing a small dosage of Ambien. Sometimes that mask makes it hard to get to sleep.	1.1512	0.02550	258	224	29	5
8738	So what is your situation?” “Well I’m all tied up.”	1.1511	0.02630	225	194	28	3
8739	No, believing you’re a slytherin does NOT give you any superpower in real life	1.1510	0.02695	245	214	25	6
8740	I see. And when was the first day of your last period.”	1.1509	0.02672	265	233	24	8
8741	I was cold. I asked for a boa, not a boa constrictor!	1.1509	0.02329	265	227	36	2
8742	It's just to help with the chaffing from the snake skin is hugging your curves. You think you have problems? You should have seen the lady with the alligator purse!	1.1509	0.02345	285	246	35	4
8743	But why are your pants off? I don't want to see your second snake.	1.1509	0.02790	232	203	23	6
8744	You seem to be wrapped up with this new diagnosis.	1.1509	0.02653	232	201	27	4
8745	Your office is rather cold, doc	1.1509	0.02653	232	201	27	4
8746	It's obvious that it's the season to feel squeezed by the IRS. We're still searching for a cure.	1.1507	0.02822	219	191	23	5
8747	It seems your tape worm has strong pheromones and is attracting company. If the snake get randy you may have a problem.	1.1506	0.02671	239	208	26	5
8748	I told you there were no crocodiles in the sewer	1.1506	0.02711	259	228	23	8
8749	Snake Charming is an unhealthy habit.	1.1505	0.02851	206	179	23	4
8750	‘’I realize it’s cold in here, but this Boa will do the trick. I’ll bet you feel warm already.”	1.1504	0.02836	226	198	22	6
8751	And how long have you been self conscious of your short torso?	1.1504	0.02971	226	200	18	8
8752	IT'S A NEW TREATMENT FOR REMOVING BELLY FAT.	1.1502	0.02870	213	186	22	5
8753	You're lucky she doesn't know how to "kill the spare" yet	1.1502	0.02423	233	199	33	1
8754	Interesting case, Holmes.	1.1502	0.02636	253	221	26	6
8755	Your obsession of playing days of snakes and ladders are over.	1.1502	0.02514	253	219	30	4
8756	I understand your concern, however you will have to wait until your very attractive, expensive and endangered Gucci garment sees a better snuggle buddy then you.	1.1500	0.02810	220	192	23	5
8757	Hm. Intermittent headaches and you say the glass just disappeared? I'm going to refer you to an optometrist, Harry.	1.1500	0.02883	220	193	21	6
8758	Usually, I prescribe something to get it out from your intestine. This will be a challenge	1.1500	0.02526	240	207	30	3
8759	Looks to me like your wife shouldn’t have believed Gen.3:4 after all.	1.1500	0.02411	260	224	33	3
8760	You say you had sushi last night?	1.1498	0.02432	267	231	32	4
8761	Unfortunately, Monte, the snake doesn’t get the gag.	1.1498	0.02545	267	233	28	6
8762	I want you to take two aspirin and call me in the morning.	1.1498	0.02674	247	216	25	6
8763	Clearly, Boa entanglement	1.1498	0.02533	227	195	30	2
8764	I know you want to keep your diagnosis under wraps, Mr. Jones, but this is taking things a bit too far.”	1.1498	0.02455	227	194	32	1
8765	I think you may be getting to wrapped up in your work.	1.1496	0.02442	254	219	32	3
8766	What are you writing, Doctor?	1.1496	0.02566	254	221	28	5
8767	What did you say your name was? (I’m talking to the snake)	1.1496	0.02561	234	202	29	3
8768	No worries, just an 'Oh heck...'	1.1494	0.02580	261	228	27	6
8769	After 2 wounds he’s having an attachment dis-Order moment, I’m afraid.	1.1494	0.02584	241	209	28	4
8770	Sorry, but I can't see you unless you're dressed in just the Johnny-coat.	1.1494	0.02584	241	209	28	4
8771	no, this isn’t what they meant by “exposure therapy”	1.1494	0.02375	241	206	34	1
8772	Your problem is not a snake in the GR-ass . . .	1.1492	0.02474	248	214	31	3
8773	Yes, we’ll have to shuffle it off—but at least it’s not mortal.	1.1491	0.02671	228	198	26	4
8774	Now, medical concerns such as yours say a lot about why preventive medicine is getting such good press...	1.1491	0.02671	228	198	26	4
8775	The humans insurance is expired.	1.1490	0.02557	255	222	28	5
8776	This is the worst case of body-turning-into-a-huge-snake-itis I've ever seen.	1.1490	0.02675	255	224	24	7
8777	...best you see a proctologist for this asp problem	1.1490	0.02616	255	223	26	6
8778	keepin' you warm,huh ?	1.1489	0.02757	235	206	23	6
8779	Compression therapy is very effective but there are still a few bugs to be worked out -- eggs!	1.1489	0.02454	262	227	31	4
8780	Wrap a warm compress around your neck and call in the morning.	1.1488	0.02767	242	213	22	7
8781	Well, the good news is you can leave your coat on the chair, I will buy it from you.	1.1486	0.02529	249	216	29	4
8782	'So let me get this straight, shortly after watching The Human Centipede you decided you wanted a bigger penis?'	1.1486	0.02592	249	217	27	5
8783	Yup, I think an annulment is your best option. These types know great lawyers....	1.1486	0.02592	249	217	27	5
8784	Take an Advil and call me in three weeks if it doesn't get better.	1.1485	0.02587	229	198	28	3
8785	it would be easier if you just bought a winter coat. Elizabeth Shaw San Francisco	1.1483	0.02395	236	202	33	1
8786	Take two feathers and call me in the morning.	1.1483	0.02679	236	206	25	5
8787	I'd lighten up on the malaria pills.	1.1483	0.02611	236	205	27	4
8788	Viagra won't help with coiltus.	1.1483	0.02611	236	205	27	4
8789	This is what you get for making an asp of yourself. I'd say you're worried about today's constrictions. It's a wrap alright.	1.1483	0.02679	236	206	25	5
8790	But Today’s Greek gods would recommend .5 lorazepam	1.1481	0.02564	243	211	28	4
8791	Have you heard about this new painkiller? I highly recommend it.	1.1481	0.02349	270	233	34	3
8792	This is for your wife: Take two Aspirin and call me in the mourning.	1.1480	0.02583	250	218	27	5
8793	You know, there are other ways of showing you are a diva!	1.1480	0.02455	250	216	31	3
8794	Adam and Eve you say--the play!	1.1477	0.02553	264	231	27	6
8795	You're being squeezed to death." "I'd like a second opinion". "You're wife is very attractive.	1.1477	0.02601	237	206	27	4
8796	If I take it off, it should be a fast recovery, but I am still figuring out how to do that.	1.1476	0.02341	271	234	34	3
8797	You say you were born in the Year of the Snake...	1.1475	0.02488	244	211	30	3
8798	Here's a prescription for extreme skin shrinkage. Apply topically!	1.1475	0.02488	244	211	30	3
8799	I believe that there are better remedies for the Polar Vertex.	1.1475	0.02820	217	190	22	5
8800	You said you wanted a tight wrap!!?!	1.1474	0.02446	251	217	31	3
8801	It’s one of those ophidian possessions cases, a Standard Code 59421.	1.1474	0.02380	251	216	33	2
8802	I can remove that Spanx.	1.1473	0.02588	258	226	26	6
8803	Take two aspirin, and don't inhale!	1.1472	0.02639	231	201	26	4
8804	There are better ways to stay warm; I recommend you try saran wrap.	1.1472	0.02639	231	201	26	4
8805	No, man, nothing is fucked here.	1.1471	0.02788	238	210	21	7
8806	WE FIND THAT USING "OLD SQUEEZER" HELP OUR PATIENTS RELAX.	1.1471	0.02446	272	237	30	5
8807	Actually, it’s “eat an apple a day”, not “eat an Adam a day”.	1.1471	0.02724	238	209	23	6
8808	I writing you a prescription for a high blood pressure drug.	1.1469	0.02478	245	212	30	3
8809	I'm writing a prescription for Snake Off. It should provide significant improvement in breathing.	1.1469	0.02478	245	212	30	3
8810	Snake got your body?	1.1468	0.02371	252	217	33	2
8811	When did you become aware of your wrap?	1.1468	0.02564	252	220	27	5
8812	You might outlive your bosom friend.	1.1468	0.02653	218	189	26	3
8813	Anaconda think you should apply snake oil to that growth twice a day until the swelling subsides.	1.1468	0.02732	218	190	24	4
8814	I have seen this before. Has anyone in your family complained of this.	1.1467	0.02526	225	194	29	2
8815	I am familiar with the Hong Kong RX of blood and venom. However, I think you would be just as satisfied with a pair of shoes and two belts.	1.1467	0.02823	225	198	21	6
8816	This prescription will make it grow feathers.	1.1466	0.02590	266	234	25	7
8817	Ron, Your temperature is low. Change into the coat, and I will take it again.	1.1466	0.02361	266	230	33	3
8818	I warned you not to forget the Boa Constrictor repellent.	1.1466	0.02698	232	203	24	5
8819	So... you bought her as a baby 10 years ago on a vacation in Florida? When did it go wrong?	1.1466	0.02833	232	205	20	7
8820	I can help with the sore throat, but I’m gonna have to transfer you over to another docter.	1.1463	0.02469	246	213	30	3
8821	G'by snake; g'by choking feeling.	1.1463	0.02535	246	214	28	4
8822	I wish you had put on that gown. Denise says that it really interferes with her swallowing reflex.	1.1462	0.02855	212	186	21	5
8823	you have big fuck of snake and die	1.1462	0.02895	260	234	14	12
8824	Felix is experiencing separation anxiety since starting kindergarten. Your symptoms are normal.	1.1461	0.02469	267	233	29	5
8825	Well it seems that you’re severely constricted. My advice would be to stay out of the jungle and away from belly dancers.	1.1460	0.02354	226	193	33	0
8826	How is your oil business?	1.1459	0.02755	233	205	22	6
8827	This is not the best way to reveal your inner self	1.1458	0.02703	240	211	23	6
8828	Thought he was my wife, doc.	1.1458	0.02502	240	208	29	3
8829	Take two pills and call me in the morning.	1.1458	0.02502	240	208	29	3
8830	I wish Bagheera was still here.	1.1457	0.02653	247	217	24	6
8831	A. Bose, B. boa, C. boast?	1.1457	0.02419	254	220	31	3
8832	Your pet, Alpha, is conducting a beta test. You need to stand up so he can finish it, and then he'll let go.	1.1457	0.02354	254	219	33	2
8833	your'e rattling my brain .	1.1457	0.02545	254	222	27	5
8834	I am afraid but I'm not good in dating advice.	1.1457	0.02483	254	221	29	4
8835	You say, 'you feel like Elvis Presley, all shook up"?	1.1456	0.02381	261	226	32	3
8836	Diagnosis: High Fashion	1.1456	0.02442	261	227	30	4
8837	It's all about stress, I would say.	1.1456	0.02502	261	228	28	5
8838	Before we proceed, I must offer a full and possible terminal list of side eagfects from our revolutionary ‘Blue Shield’ coverage.	1.1454	0.02868	227	201	19	7
8839	It is an FDA approved snake-hug treatment	1.1454	0.02729	227	199	23	5
8840	Personally, I don't care how much longer I live.	1.1453	0.02536	234	203	28	3
8841	Well, so far the unravelling is working nicely.	1.1452	0.02349	241	207	33	1
8842	Now about that pain in your chest.....	1.1452	0.02560	241	210	27	4
8843	The apple was forbidden. He's going to shed your skin in 3-4 weeks.	1.1452	0.02580	248	217	26	5
8844	I am prescribing a ladder	1.1452	0.02580	248	217	26	5
8845	I'm prescribing a wraparound solution!	1.1451	0.02410	255	221	31	3
8846	We will have to run a few exams so I can avoid possible liabilities for my diagnosis. Of course, after that, YOU will have to decide what is the best treatment. But I am here to make sure you feel no pressure.	1.1450	0.02372	262	227	32	3
8847	I asked my wife for a snake skin suit. She got a size too small.	1.1447	0.02646	228	199	25	4
8848	We have separation anxiety.	1.1447	0.02571	228	198	27	3
8849	so mister rinaldi ,did it help with your constipation ? BEN CRAZY	1.1447	0.02666	235	206	24	5
8850	Boas are out of style this season.	1.1447	0.02453	235	203	30	2
8851	the pressures of life	1.1447	0.02733	235	207	22	6
8852	I recommend keeping an eye on it. Come back in two to three weeks if anything progresses.	1.1446	0.02482	242	210	29	3
8853	When he chased your ambulance, about how fast was he going?	1.1446	0.02617	242	212	25	5
8854	I can assure you, nursing a snake in your bosom is not lethal.	1.1446	0.02753	249	221	20	8
8855	Canada Goose, boa constrictor...whatever keeps you warm...	1.1446	0.02570	249	218	26	5
8856	So you'd describe your occupation as "trendy diets guru"?	1.1445	0.02402	256	222	31	3
8857	I see you were visiting the Florida Everglades. Did you want to catch up on nature?	1.1445	0.02402	256	222	31	3
8858	The weight loss has been fine, but we'll need to do something about those internal organs.	1.1442	0.02740	215	188	23	4
8859	The woman you came with wants you to know that the snake and the swing coat look better on you, so there's no need to return them.	1.1442	0.02576	215	186	27	2
8860	And for the rental of the prosthesis,an additional $1,500 monthly.	1.1441	0.02904	222	197	18	7
8861	I'm writing you a refrrral to Dr Pol.	1.1441	0.02761	222	195	22	5
8862	You picked up the Dengu Fever during your Amazon trip.	1.1441	0.02586	236	206	26	4
8863	Just take one tablet three times a day for shortness of breath.	1.1441	0.02788	236	209	20	7
8864	I'll need a second opinion to be certain but you love of the Gadsden flag may kill you."	1.1441	0.02516	236	205	28	3
8865	I suggest waiting until the Polar Vortex is over.	1.1441	0.02975	236	212	14	10
8866	If you're on a constricted timeframe, this is the diet for you!	1.1440	0.02671	243	214	23	6
8867	I’m sorry, but your health plan won’t pay for anything thar’s not generic.	1.1440	0.02541	243	212	27	4
8868	So, I hear they call you the Snake Lady.	1.1440	0.02541	243	212	27	4
8869	We are going to squeeze that penis envy right out of your nose.	1.1440	0.02623	250	220	24	6
8870	You seem to suffer from pet seperation	1.1440	0.02456	257	224	29	4
8871	Look, you're both vegans. I talked to the Vet and we want to recommend a therapist.	1.1439	0.02532	264	232	26	6
8872	I'm so sorry, Mr. Rod, it's Asclepius Disease.	1.1439	0.02589	264	233	24	7
8873	Sorry, you have a bad case of the snakes.	1.1435	0.02674	223	195	24	4
8874	Look, you're going to exercise restraint.	1.1435	0.02711	237	209	22	6
8875	I believe the correct phrasing of the activity is 'shake... rattle and roll.'	1.1435	0.02576	237	207	26	4
8876	Their our new eco-friendly gowns	1.1434	0.02597	244	214	25	5
8877	It has 5 Star reviews from Amazon Essential.	1.1434	0.02463	244	212	29	3
8878	Your reptilian brain has slipped and I prescribe stretching!	1.1434	0.02673	251	222	22	7
8879	SO YPOU FEEL LIKE IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEEN TAKEN AWAY.	1.1434	0.02488	251	219	28	4
8880	They said he was casein-free.	1.1429	0.02587	224	195	26	3
8881	Sir please don’t hiss at me! You have merely a stomach bug.	1.1429	0.02793	217	191	21	5
8882	Oh heck, it's up to my neck.	1.1429	0.02508	224	194	28	2
8883	Severe anxiety is known to cause feelings of	1.1429	0.02314	245	211	33	1
8884	On the bright side, you won't need a heavy coat this winer.	1.1429	0.02479	252	220	28	4
8885	We'll admit you to the vet service and consult internal medicine.	1.1429	0.02613	231	202	25	4
8886	You've gain a lot of weight since last here!	1.1429	0.02587	224	195	26	3
8887	Perhaps this takes the boa around your neck look abut too far.	1.1429	0.02651	245	216	23	6
8888	Fasten your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy night.	1.1429	0.02540	231	201	27	3
8889	You have what we call an Adam and Eve complex, and your Eve has run off with your so-called apple	1.1423	0.02606	260	230	23	7
8890	Doctor: So... what's got you wrapped up?	1.1423	0.02532	253	222	26	5
8891	See, if you had been wearing sunscreen...	1.1423	0.02532	253	222	26	5
8892	So how long have you been a vegetarian, Monty?	1.1423	0.02512	246	215	27	4
8893	Have you been bitten?	1.1423	0.02556	239	209	26	4
8894	Wrapped up in coding? Sir?	1.1423	0.02556	239	209	26	4
8895	When did you start noticing this weight gain?	1.1422	0.02455	232	201	29	2
8896	Dizzy spells and numbness ARE common side effects of this medication. See you in two weeks.	1.1422	0.02652	225	197	24	4
8897	I told Eve, apples were not good for her diet.	1.1422	0.02652	225	197	24	4
8898	well... stand up ... and ...a... turn your head ..and cough	1.1422	0.02576	225	196	26	3
8899	... the success rate with our "Two-for-One Weight-Loss Plan" is nearly 100%, though honestly -- we still never seem to know which way things are going to swing...	1.1417	0.02330	254	220	32	2
8900	Here, have a cough drop”	1.1417	0.02460	254	222	28	4
8901	It seems that the anaconda wants some because you have buns, hun.	1.1417	0.02630	247	218	23	6
8902	Haemorrhoids...	1.1417	0.02546	240	210	26	4
8903	Have you told #MeToo	1.1416	0.02663	233	205	23	5
8904	My notation will state that it is it is not possible to determine, with certainty, who started this."	1.1411	0.02620	248	219	23	6
8905	I was thinking about the people and I hugged the snake	1.1411	0.02467	241	210	28	3
8906	If I weren't all wrapped up, I could perform the proced -- oh, that was a poor choice of words, wasn't it?	1.1411	0.02603	241	212	24	5
8907	There are a lot of snakes in the garden.	1.1410	0.02652	234	206	23	5
8908	You're fine; the snake isn't wrapped too tight.	1.1410	0.02436	234	203	29	2
8909	buddy, i can't help unless you're honest with me. are you sure you weren't jerking off?	1.1410	0.02436	234	203	29	2
8910	Keep on coughing and it will only hurt more.	1.1410	0.02359	234	202	31	1
8911	I brought my lawyer with me to make sure there will be no malpractice	1.1408	0.02815	213	188	20	5
8912	Monty, you're not going to believe what's happened.	1.1408	0.02653	213	186	24	3
8913	They ARE unusual symptoms, but I do have a treatment in mind.	1.1407	0.02423	270	237	28	5
8914	Mr. Johnson, it appears you have an acute case of Snake Body.	1.1407	0.02279	263	228	33	2
8915	I see you are wearing mink with a boa?	1.1407	0.02463	263	231	27	5
8916	You really need to lose some weight, Mr. Smithers	1.1406	0.02504	256	225	26	5
8917	You've exfoliated your inner skin and returned to Paradise.	1.1404	0.02500	235	205	27	3
8918	Well, I won't contradict ancient but new methods of weight loss.	1.1403	0.02428	221	191	29	1
8919	After the first test, I thought your intestines were constricting...	1.1401	0.02433	257	225	28	4
8920	Thankfully, it's winter, so we can rule out heat-stroke.	1.1399	0.02448	243	212	28	3
8921	This is your weighted snake-et. It's like an all the time hug.	1.1399	0.02448	243	212	28	3
8922	Mr Mowgli, your results are pretty disturbing. Since when do you have appearances of huge black cats crossing your way?	1.1398	0.02631	236	208	23	5
8923	I'm sorry, we don't see Slitherin patients here.	1.1398	0.02631	236	208	23	5
8924	I'm sorry I don't have experience with Python. Why not just check on StackOverflow...	1.1398	0.02699	236	209	21	6
8925	It appears your diet is not working for you.	1.1398	0.02490	236	206	27	3
8926	Don't worry, we'll get you out of this tangle.	1.1398	0.02631	236	208	23	5
8927	Your condition has nothing do with your charming personality. Frank Buckley Andover, MA	1.1396	0.02581	222	194	25	3
8928	Nice coat, sir...	1.1396	0.02808	222	197	19	6
8929	In order for this new treatment to work, I need your utmost coooeration Mr Snerd.	1.1396	0.02581	222	194	25	3
8930	Doc, I’m not sure what’s wrong but I feel like I’m being strangled.	1.1395	0.02604	258	229	22	7
8931	I'm here for a decayed tooth...	1.1395	0.02486	258	227	26	5
8932	I'm prescribing a weight-loss regimen.	1.1394	0.02465	251	220	27	4
8933	It looks like Obama Care doesn't cover the removal of snakes.	1.1393	0.02296	244	211	32	1
8934	And how long Mr. Barnes, have you been undergoing treatment for pickpocketing?"..	1.1393	0.02507	244	214	26	4
8935	...but at least, you are very fashionable with an actual and living feather boa	1.1393	0.02369	244	212	30	2
8936	Surely, Nicki Minaj had entirely something else in mind from her biggest fan.	1.1392	0.02480	237	207	27	3
8937	Don’t worry we launder our examination gowns"	1.1390	0.02288	259	225	32	2
8938	...take orally 3x a day, along with meditation and deep breathing exercises.	1.1389	0.02535	216	188	26	2
8939	I would like to time how long it takes you to completely devour him.	1.1389	0.03072	216	195	12	9
8940	And I'm not crazy about how he is eying my John Thomas."	1.1389	0.02519	252	222	25	5
8941	You don't know how to use the washing machine? And your wife is out of town for how much longer?	1.1388	0.02360	245	213	30	2
8942	And don't try to fob me off with that lousy snake oil again”. “Well aren't you a real charmer”	1.1388	0.02360	245	213	30	2
8943	So as expected, the mouse-ectomy was a success but we are seeing some side effects...	1.1384	0.02636	224	197	23	4
8944	I guess you forgot what I told youabout what grows in the sewers of this city? Do you remember now?	1.1384	0.02711	224	198	21	5
8945	As you can see, I am winding up my practice.	1.1384	0.02559	224	196	25	3
8946	Never trust a left handed doctor!	1.1383	0.02315	253	220	31	2
8947	the extra blanket was unnecessary	1.1382	0.02420	246	215	28	3
8948	Ok, so it's nothing serious, just poisonous snake bites. It'll take about a week.	1.1382	0.02420	246	215	28	3
8949	This is a very unusual cancer.	1.1382	0.02618	246	218	22	6
8950	You need more potassium ! I recommend more apples in your diet	1.1379	0.02398	261	229	28	4
8951	I'm not happy with your acupressure progress, so I'm going to recommend acupuncture instead, the 'thousand needle cure'.	1.1379	0.02503	232	203	26	3
8952	You've seen one pungi accident, you've seen them all.	1.1378	0.02500	254	224	25	5
8953	Joe, looks like the snake got under your skin!	1.1378	0.02625	225	198	23	4
8954	I'm going to give you a prescription for anti-snake charming	1.1377	0.02670	247	220	20	7
8955	So exhale hurts? Maybe you two should try yoga.	1.1377	0.02411	247	216	28	3
8956	Perchance Oil. Extra Strength. For both you and Mort’, ’tis.	1.1375	0.02656	240	213	21	6
8957	New with the Sewer Department? The snake isn't.	1.1374	0.02450	262	231	26	5
8958	You're the third zookeeper I've seen today with these symptoms... peculiar.	1.1371	0.02333	248	216	30	2
8959	I don’t know what to do, I’m all tied up.	1.1365	0.02337	271	238	29	4
8960	I don't understand doc I have a real knot in my stomach for some reason.	1.1364	0.02569	242	214	23	5
8961	Im sorry Mr and Mrs Jones but the test came back positive for cancer	1.1364	0.02502	242	213	25	4
8962	Do you think I am underdressed?	1.1362	0.02404	279	247	26	6
8963	It's the third time you've been here. Try to stop showing off how much Bertie loves you.	1.1362	0.02213	257	223	33	1
8964	I think your problem is due to a weak nervous system, but I may be wrong.	1.1362	0.02347	257	225	29	3
8965	You probably feel oppressed ....	1.1362	0.02281	257	224	31	2
8966	I can’t seem to wrap around what’s going with you	1.1362	0.02473	235	206	26	3
8967	Now, you must swallow these capsules whole and they may cause cramping...	1.1362	0.02685	235	209	20	6
8968	Have you been feeling all wrapped up lately?	1.1362	0.02322	235	204	30	1
8969	Until the antiviral kicks in, stay away from the internet.	1.1362	0.02536	213	186	25	2
8970	How is that python roundup working out for you	1.1362	0.02705	213	188	21	4
8971	I'm writing you a prescription to listen to the song "You knew I was a snake before you took me in", try to listen to it before tomorrow afternoon.	1.1358	0.02278	243	211	31	1
8972	The prescription is for the snake. For you, you need to Google cosplay and 'Naked Snake'.	1.1357	0.02642	221	195	22	4
8973	Don't worry, your pet boa will go back to its normal noodle shape once its done killing and eating this man. That'll be 300$.	1.1355	0.02441	251	221	26	4
8974	Feeling is the same	1.1355	0.02375	251	220	28	3
8975	I'm afraid Adam, an apple a day won't keep me away"	1.1354	0.02582	229	202	23	4
8976	.it was a dare ..a mongoose costume into a pet store..Jim Finegan,Rye,NY	1.1352	0.02482	244	215	25	4
8977	I know you said I need to cut humans out of my diet, but this one has a vore fetish and he just won't leave me alone.	1.1350	0.02454	237	208	26	3
8978	We call it the Tinder Trap	1.1348	0.02348	267	235	28	4
8979	You said you were on a tight budget. Now I get it.	1.1348	0.02419	230	201	27	2
8980	How long have you felt this cozy?	1.1346	0.02561	208	182	24	2
8981	I hope you like chicken.	1.1345	0.02695	223	198	20	5
8982	I suppose someone may confuse your pet with another vital organ, but it creates a definite medical risk for both of you.	1.1345	0.02516	238	210	24	4
8983	Yeah, but my parents wanted me to give up drawing in fifth grade.	1.1344	0.02357	253	222	28	3
8984	How long had this divorce attorney?	1.1344	0.02549	253	225	22	6
8985	Yeah, Adam took just one look, blamed me, and threw both of us under the bus and out of the garden!	1.1342	0.02704	231	206	19	6
8986	You’re just not as young as you used to be George.	1.1341	0.02463	246	217	25	4
8987	I am recommending you visit your local department store for a blanket scarf"	1.1341	0.02325	246	215	29	2
8988	What a normal day at the the doctor's office looks like	1.1336	0.02493	217	190	25	2
8989	I’m writing you a prescription for rattler removal.	1.1336	0.02476	232	204	25	3
8990	Do you recall being near poison ivy lately?	1.1333	0.02323	270	238	28	4
8991	this is part of a new therapy I called the “Boa Vista” club	1.1333	0.02405	255	225	26	4
8992	Well, at least you can be grateful boas don't have knees or feet.	1.1333	0.02405	255	225	26	4
8993	My old girdle was tight, but this is ridiculous	1.1331	0.02297	263	231	29	3
8994	Since internet became popular, being a dietist is an everyday adventure.	1.1330	0.02540	233	206	23	4
8995	Are you having a hard time getting off your chest AGAIN?	1.1328	0.02265	256	224	30	2
8996	I’m going to have to refer you to a snakelist.	1.1328	0.02343	241	211	28	2
8997	Would you consider being part of the reptile exhibit at the zoo?	1.1325	0.02565	249	222	21	6
8998	They’re call it the Slytherin vasectomy.	1.1325	0.02368	249	219	27	3
8999	He's in fine shape. You, on the other hand, could use some Viagra.	1.1325	0.02501	249	221	23	5
9000	Looks like it is your baby...he's got the nurses wrapped around his finger	1.1325	0.02501	249	221	23	5
9001	I know your pretty tight today. Just a few more questions.	1.1324	0.02555	219	193	23	3
9002	Cap or Decap?	1.1323	0.02257	257	225	30	2
9003	I want a pet to match my avoidant tendencies...but I feel more suffocated than ever!	1.1322	0.02611	242	216	20	6
9004	You just have a cold-blooded creature.	1.1320	0.02290	250	219	29	2
9005	Take these two laxatives and call me in the morning.	1.1319	0.02591	235	209	21	5
9006	I thought it was my headphones.	1.1319	0.02413	273	243	24	6
9007	Apply one more fresh snake before bed and the skin oil should fix that rheumatism right up."	1.1318	0.02544	220	194	23	3
9008	All I wanted was a wraparound that was alive with interest!	1.1318	0.02379	258	228	26	4
9009	No, you don't have spider veins.	1.1317	0.02535	243	216	22	5
9010	Missing Tomi Ungerer also?	1.1315	0.02546	251	224	21	6
9011	A former patient of mine used it to his advantage and made a snake skin jacket.	1.1314	0.02510	236	209	23	4
9012	BO-Am I glad You came to see Me...	1.1313	0.02370	259	229	26	4
9013	I advise you detach from the meal source and start with the feet.	1.1312	0.02533	221	195	23	3
9014	Patient: I couldn’t put on the gown, Doc. My boa’s jealous - she won’t let me strip in front of anyone but her... And Doc - don’t examine me down there. She might attack you.	1.1310	0.02536	252	225	21	6
9015	I'm putting you on a diet. Your BMI is 37.8!	1.1310	0.02473	252	224	23	5
9016	Yes, Mr. Archimedes, I am very familiar with the Squeeze Theorem Disorder. Do you have limited breathing function?	1.1308	0.02424	260	231	24	5
9017	We were a bit constricted in making our diagnoses, but we’re pretty sure it’s because of your phone	1.1306	0.02379	245	216	26	3
9018	Yes, you have two weeks to live... But at least you're losing six pounds.	1.1303	0.02266	238	208	29	1
9019	TAKE AN ASPIRIN A DAY THEN YOUR CRAMPS SHOULD GO AWAY	1.1303	0.02417	238	210	25	3
9020	It is hard ti do a full exam when you are fully wrapped like that.	1.1303	0.02417	238	210	25	3
9021	At least it's not boots.	1.1299	0.02256	254	223	29	2
9022	So let me guess, your name is Rod O' Asclepius?	1.1297	0.02334	239	210	27	2
9023	I understand you’re terrified of lizards.	1.1296	0.02429	247	219	24	4
9024	I get that you feel like time is of the essence, but can we take a moment to appreciate that I came in here dressed as a ghost and now my costume is sticking to the chair using god knows what strength?	1.1296	0.02429	247	219	24	4
9025	S'nakes Alive!	1.1295	0.02501	224	198	23	3
9026	Well, the zoo employees tell me it was the best parcel-tongue they've ever heard.	1.1292	0.02470	240	213	23	4
9027	That dick big	1.1292	0.02398	240	212	25	3
9028	You see, it all started when I was born...	1.1289	0.02373	256	227	25	4
9029	You mean constrictcation, right?	1.1289	0.02373	256	227	25	4
9030	Your anaconda don't---Your anaconda don't---Your anaconda don't want to let go before you suffocate. Sorry.	1.1286	0.02594	210	186	21	3
9031	I advise removing the forked tongue; that should straighten things out!	1.1285	0.02343	249	220	26	3
9032	I know it's the latest fad, but I still think it's to constricting." " I'm prescribing a nice garden variety.	1.1284	0.02364	257	228	25	4
9033	That Pit of Sakes you're workin"g in is really weighing you down!	1.1283	0.02058	265	231	34	0
9034	You know what they say: A snake wrapped around your body is better than two in the bush.	1.1282	0.02503	234	208	22	4
9035	when you wrapped up in your own problem and expecting from somebody to resolve!!	1.1281	0.02520	242	216	21	5
9036	You will, coiled mortal, send the office a new address once you’ve finished throwing off that mortal coil?	1.1277	0.02493	235	209	22	4
9037	I'd say you're free to criticize that guy, now that you've walked a mile in his moccasin.	1.1277	0.02493	235	209	22	4
9038	voldemort. we meet again. do you not recognize me? i am harry potter, full-grown and treating magical maladies in the wizard hospital. i will admit, i find a sick satisfaction in your prognosis. the great dark wizard, brought down by prostate cancer!	1.1276	0.02441	243	216	23	4
9039	„Looks like you slithered yourself into some serious trouble.“	1.1276	0.02371	243	215	25	3
9040	Yeeeeah, Mr. Mowgli, is it? I think we might need a psych consult…	1.1275	0.02255	251	221	28	2
9041	Wrap up keep warm Mrs Jones and you will be fine.	1.1275	0.02458	251	224	22	5
9042	Mr. Shmendlap, I understand that you feel "squeezed" in your job at the zoo! Jeff Manly Toronto,On	1.1274	0.02282	259	229	27	3
9043	live snakes don't make good footwear. They are not particularly fond of the cold floors	1.1274	0.02656	212	189	19	4
9044	Medical Disclaimer: Chest Tightness	1.1273	0.02673	220	197	18	5
9045	Pokémon GO has gotten really out of hand!	1.1273	0.02429	220	194	24	2
9046	Next time stick to urban fashion weeks.	1.1271	0.02483	236	210	22	4
9047	I recommend the latest weight loss treatment from BoaPharm.com.	1.1271	0.02483	236	210	22	4
9048	I'm afraid you're as deaf as an adder.	1.1270	0.02384	252	224	24	4
9049	Oh god, put your coat back on!	1.1266	0.02674	229	206	17	6
9050	Weight! Weight! Don't Tell Me	1.1265	0.02280	245	216	27	2
9051	Sir, you aren't really that screwed. But I would suggest next time skipping snake pit brunch.	1.1264	0.02097	269	236	32	1
9052	I don’t think this is what they meant when they said “4/5 men report feeling constricted when their girlfriend moves in.... maybe you should stick to cat women.”	1.1262	0.02633	214	191	19	4
9053	Well yes, I can see you made a mistake. One can't be too careful when kissing. But I'm afraid I'll need to bring in more medical personnel to handle this case. The question is, how many	1.1261	0.02278	230	202	27	1
9054	I feel a tightening in my chest.	1.1261	0.02516	230	205	21	4
9055	Too much ink.	1.1260	0.02271	246	217	27	2
9056	Hi, Dave. It looks like you got stuck in Boidae again...	1.1260	0.02230	254	224	28	2
9057	It just really feels like this burden I’ve been carrying around for weeks is really starting to squeeze me into submission. What do you recommend I do?	1.1255	0.02351	231	204	25	2
9058	My Ghanian college will see you shortly.	1.1255	0.02222	255	225	28	2
9059	Sir, if you could please put away your lunch we can start the check up..	1.1255	0.02375	263	235	23	5
9060	Before I went into Medicine I was a snake oil salesman>	1.1255	0.02249	263	233	27	3
9061	This time you should be able to breath out	1.1250	0.02296	240	212	26	2
9062	And how do you feel this particular body transformation regimen is going?	1.1250	0.02413	256	229	22	5
9063	@%$#@$! white people...	1.1250	0.02444	240	214	22	4
9064	Learn to code.	1.1245	0.02466	257	231	20	6
9065	Well mr. Myers it appears that you are suffering from ring snake and the only way for it to go away is to put some of this cream on but there is a chance the snake might bite but if you dont each day the snake squeezes more each day.	1.1245	0.02274	257	228	26	3
9066	The good news is that you've got buns, Hun'.	1.1245	0.02559	233	209	19	5
9067	Doctor: "The cultures are back. Can I get a drum roll please..." Patient: "I can't..." Doctor: "Bacillus asclepius"	1.1240	0.02353	242	215	24	3
9068	Squeezing the last drop, eh?	1.1240	0.02279	242	214	26	2
9069	The tests show that you have too much snake oil in your body!	1.1240	0.02353	242	215	24	3
9070	My anaconda don’t want none unless you got insurance hon	1.1239	0.02619	234	211	17	6
9071	So which supplemental policy ?	1.1236	0.02323	259	231	24	4
9072	It looks like you got buns hun.	1.1235	0.02682	243	221	14	8
9073	Thou shalt not take with alcohol.	1.1235	0.02484	243	218	20	5
9074	I can’t change, control or cure it	1.1234	0.02465	235	210	21	4
9075	"The Granny Smith will be a nice touch. P.E.T.A. should love it." Leo Sacks, Sunnyside, N.Y.	1.1231	0.02377	260	233	22	5
9076	It’s a new hybrid we’re calling a boa constrictim.	1.1230	0.02425	252	226	21	5
9077	Have you tried drinking celery juice?	1.1230	0.02406	244	218	22	4
9078	Your diagnosis is locked-in syndrome.	1.1229	0.02224	236	208	27	1
9079	Can't you see I need help?"	1.1225	0.02416	253	227	21	5
9080	His constructions are what is keeping you alive!	1.1224	0.02325	245	218	24	3
9081	It appears, sir, that he doesn't want none. Unless...	1.1224	0.02446	237	212	21	4
9082	I think you are suffering from ring snake	1.1222	0.02316	270	242	23	5
9083	Thank you for bringing in your diet, Mr. Thon. I recommend your continuing to eat three a day.	1.1222	0.02472	221	197	21	3
9084	I never said you were a bore!	1.1222	0.02472	221	197	21	3
9085	I'm going to prescribe you with a bottle of snake repellent.	1.1221	0.02098	262	231	30	1
9086	Looks like you've used more toothpaste than you need. Don't worry we know how to take care of that.	1.1220	0.02407	254	228	21	5
9087	... and suddenly I felt kaampelled.	1.1220	0.02456	246	221	20	5
9088	Mr. Cohen, it seems you have a rare case of you-are-a-snakeitis...	1.1218	0.02508	238	214	19	5
9089	I’ve heard that they respond well to buns.	1.1218	0.02286	238	211	25	2
9090	How did you get that terrible wound?	1.1218	0.02362	238	212	23	3
9091	Your eyes are bigger thqn your stomach	1.1217	0.02410	230	205	22	3
9092	The diagnosis isn't good. The test results came back that you have parasites. Visually speaking, we clearly need to run more tests. This would seem to be more of an exterior kind of thing.	1.1217	0.02488	230	206	20	4
9093	Being Constricted is so in these days!	1.1217	0.02488	230	206	20	4
9094	It's time for you to remove your clothes for a check up! Why don't you give it a try doctor?	1.1217	0.02159	263	233	28	2
9095	Here is an antibiotic prescription “on a counda” it seems to be a bacteria and not a virus	1.1211	0.02280	223	197	25	1
9096	The urban cowboys in Manhattan are jealous, you say? But how do you bathe?	1.1208	0.02209	265	236	26	3
9097	Snake too.	1.1206	0.02443	257	232	19	6
9098	Sir, this room is well-heated. You don't have to get all wrapped up." (Submitted for Barbara Grubman of Woodland Hills, Californi	1.1206	0.02380	257	231	21	5
9099	Yes, we can remove it ... but I’m afraid you’ll have to sacrifice around fourhundred-million scales.	1.1203	0.02326	266	239	22	5
9100	The polar vortex has really gotten to you, huh?	1.1202	0.02381	233	208	22	3
9101	Yeah, you know, I was watching Scrubs reruns last night, and its really not that funny. - Zgjim Terziqi, Prishtina, Kosovo	1.1202	0.02371	258	232	21	5
9102	Sir, your snake will never understand the command to "slither in"	1.1200	0.02347	225	200	23	2
9103	I’m just going to take your word for it and give you some medicine for your achy breaky penis	1.1198	0.02482	217	194	20	3
9104	Do you ever feel that you have a tight band around your head?	1.1195	0.02474	251	227	18	6
9105	1."How are you feeling Mr. Smith?"____2."We are going to have to up your meds Mr. Smith as your blood pressure is still dangerously high"____3."How long have you been irregular?"	1.1195	0.02337	226	201	23	2
9106	My wife's a chicken. Good news is we have plenty of eggs, sorry that was cold blooded..	1.1193	0.02241	243	216	25	2
9107	I'm referring you to a specialist, a roommate in med school, who has herpetophobia.	1.1191	0.02511	235	212	18	5
9108	For you to think that a constrictor of this type is venomous is so dumb. I'm surprised you've actually lived to whatever age you are. I should just let it crush the life out of you.	1.1191	0.02511	235	212	18	5
9109	Based on the test "My Anaconda wants"...you got buns hun!	1.1184	0.02233	228	202	25	1
9110	I'm sorry to disappoint you, but hugging is not her thing.	1.1184	0.02439	245	221	19	5
9111	This here medicine is as Western as it gets.	1.1182	0.02450	220	197	20	3
9112	We had so many complaints about the johnny coats we're trying these instead.	1.1181	0.02490	237	214	18	5
9113	Did you take the nitroglycerin SL as I ordered?	1.1181	0.02316	254	228	22	4
9114	I think its more usual for a snakeskin suit to not come with a live snake!	1.1179	0.02308	229	204	23	2
9115	Thank you for your assistance with our internal audit on wait times.	1.1179	0.02289	246	220	23	3
9116	For this particular apple, I really do need to intervene.	1.1179	0.02139	246	218	27	1
9117	You seem to have an acute fruit allergy	1.1176	0.02256	238	212	24	2
9118	Your test result has come back positive for buns, hun.	1.1176	0.02354	221	197	22	2
9119	Savory oatmeal should do it.	1.1176	0.02239	255	228	24	3
9120	you can’t lose weight that way. You must behind your stomach from the inside.	1.1176	0.02239	255	228	24	3
9121	Sir, the ball pit at the McDonald's is for children only.	1.1176	0.02307	255	229	22	4
9122	My husband was a snake oil salesman	1.1174	0.02172	281	252	25	4
9123	You’ve been diagnosed with a mild condition of snakeitis .	1.1169	0.02272	248	222	23	3
9124	Constriction by boa? I would not constrict that possibility.	1.1164	0.02360	232	208	21	3
9125	It is just a dry throat. I will recommend some cold medicine.	1.1162	0.02306	241	216	22	3
9126	Something for Anxiety and Benjamin Brafman.	1.1159	0.02432	207	185	20	2
9127	Good news. I have an answer to that tightness your feeling, bad news, please, no more inhaling.	1.1158	0.02137	259	231	26	2
9128	Boots would have been a safer path." Sloan Salah, Glenview, I	1.1156	0.02635	225	205	14	6
9129	Unfortunately, you will have to use other persuasive means. This is not covered by the pet liability clause.	1.1152	0.02361	243	219	20	4
9130	We can get you into sia specialist and 3 weeks.	1.1152	0.02212	243	217	24	2
9131	Sadly, you're carcinogenic.	1.1152	0.02134	243	216	26	1
9132	Mr. Hiss, You have a bad case of himarroids.	1.1148	0.02352	244	220	20	4
9133	We're cutting edge. My assistant specializes in chills and fever..	1.1148	0.02422	244	221	18	5
9134	I'm not sure they take medical testimony in divorce court, but see if they accept this prescription	1.1144	0.02322	236	212	21	3
9135	Please, no snakes.	1.1142	0.02290	254	229	21	4
9136	You might start feeling better if you stopped playing with your hose."	1.1140	0.02449	228	206	18	4
9137	I am constricted from examining you!	1.1139	0.02234	237	212	23	2
9138	I can see you’re extremely tense. I’m writing a lifetime prescription of Fentenyl which will cure you within a month	1.1139	0.02313	237	213	21	3
9139	I've asked you to take buch time off, I need you to take boa off	1.1136	0.02296	264	239	20	5
9140	This is a new prescription for worm tablets, don’t confuse them with the steroids.	1.1136	0.02418	220	198	19	3
9141	This is not the place where bags are made with human skin. Next door, please.	1.1135	0.02359	229	206	20	3
9142	Good news! The test results indicate that the angina you	1.1133	0.02404	256	233	17	6
9143	Have you been feeding him a daily dose of buns, hun?	1.1132	0.02092	265	237	26	2
9144	Your lack of charm is a preëxisting condition, so we can't treat you; however, there are several Dale Carnegie courses online as well as self-indulgent, 12-step-recovery group programs, complete with anonymity and experienced sponsors.	1.1132	0.02281	212	189	22	1
9145	No; antibiotics and ineffective on viruses and vipers.	1.1131	0.01986	274	244	29	1
9146	Yeah I don't know, you're all fucked up.	1.1131	0.02491	221	200	17	4
9147	I'm sorry, this is gerbil abuse, arguments are in room12A.	1.1130	0.02267	230	206	22	2
9148	It says here you have an unhealthy obsession with Taylor Swift?	1.1129	0.02244	248	223	22	3
9149	I'd like to do a few more tests on your lizard brain.	1.1129	0.02244	248	223	22	3
9150	Sorry we donTPCookiePolicyPropertySiteForCookies	1.1128	0.02279	266	241	20	5
9151	No tip? What’s the matter you’re trippin’ Can’t you see you alcoholic idiots the more they try to suppress us	1.1125	0.02127	240	214	25	1
9152	Yes, I do think it's medically necessary for me to tickle you right now.	1.1116	0.02459	224	203	17	4
9153	Did he hit you one more time?	1.1116	0.02111	242	216	25	1
9154	The test results are in. You've got buns, hun.	1.1111	0.02210	252	227	22	3
9155	Jim, it's a shame the snake didn't do a better job. These scenarios are getting played out.	1.1111	0.02405	243	221	17	5
9156	Basically you were sneaking around and he was snaking around. Peter Giessner, Peapack NJ	1.1111	0.02389	234	212	18	4
9157	Alright then sir what seems to wrap you around in life.	1.1102	0.02193	254	229	22	3
9158	Looks like you've got a chronic case of snake-itis.	1.1102	0.02165	245	220	23	2
9159	I'm sorry sir, but it looks like you're permanently half man half snake now"	1.1102	0.02241	245	221	21	3
9160	Kid don't move, your life depend on this	1.1102	0.02386	245	223	17	5
9161	...last Doctor put the squeeze on. I didn't know Witch Doctors where licensed in this state"	1.1092	0.02274	238	215	20	3
9162	Good morning Mr. & Mrs. Chasse ! I see you are finally getting a hang on your marriage .	1.1089	0.02169	257	232	22	3
9163	You say: You're proud to me an American?	1.1079	0.02467	241	221	14	6
9164	I see you've been snaking around things.	1.1078	0.02130	232	208	23	1
9165	At least it didn't fall off.	1.1074	0.02238	242	219	20	3
9166	Could you run some tests to see if I am snakebit?	1.1073	0.02205	261	237	20	4
9167	I'm writing you a prescription for antibiotics. Take one every day for a week, and you'll be fine.	1.1070	0.02377	243	222	16	5
9168	So,Mr. Hun,tell me again about this connection he has with your buns.	1.1070	0.02229	243	220	20	3
9169	Patient - What's the problem,Doc? Doc - Seems like your pet has got snaxiety,hence him wrapping himself around you for comfort.	1.1066	0.02438	244	224	14	6
9170	Check out my new kicks.	1.1064	0.02270	235	213	19	3
9171	Sometimes he a squeezes too hard and the patient dies. In that case, where do I send your body?	1.1062	0.02054	226	202	24	0
9172	adadf	1.1061	0.02135	245	221	22	2
9173	I can recommend an ‘Instant Weight Loss Plan ...’	1.1061	0.01972	245	219	26	0
9174	And when did you first realize you were going to die and go to Phoenix?	1.1057	0.02126	246	222	22	2
9175	Unfortunately, you've got buns, hon.	1.1055	0.02479	237	218	13	6
9176	Alright, I think a band-aid will fix this in no time!	1.1053	0.02039	247	222	24	1
9177	No, I told you to wrap your snake.	1.1051	0.02069	257	232	23	2
9178	This is not the most efficient body-cooling system I could recommend.	1.1049	0.02091	267	242	22	3
9179	I'm prescribing an emetic, but I fear we're too late for that.	1.1048	0.02186	248	225	20	3
9180	A lot of people don't like our Johnnies	1.1042	0.02054	259	234	23	2
9181	Seems you have a case of the tight spots.	1.1041	0.02339	221	201	17	3
9182	Your results have all come back fine. Youcontest?utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Humor_020419&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bea12de3f92a4046968b978&user_id=33567745&utm_term=TNY_Humor#this	1.1039	0.02511	231	213	12	6
9183	Keep doing what you	1.1038	0.02046	260	235	23	2
9184	Well it looks like the whole "boa-tie" experiment was a failure	1.1037	0.02069	270	245	22	3
9185	He's evidently off his food. Get a rabbit. It will wet his appetite for you, too.	1.1037	0.02002	270	244	24	2
9186	After he gave her the fruit, he took a bite of HER fruit... now, he thinks he's she...	1.1033	0.02358	242	222	15	5
9187	I'm going to recommend another doctor to help you explore your need for affirmation an security	1.1029	0.02199	243	221	19	3
9188	Raise above it...	1.1029	0.02199	243	221	19	3
9189	Times are tough. This the best I could do for a jacket.	1.1025	0.02266	244	223	17	4
9190	Feather, not father	1.1024	0.02063	254	230	22	2
9191	Well didn’t he warn you what his anaconda would do if you DID have buns, hun?	1.1022	0.02299	225	205	17	3
9192	Don't try to tell me that FOMO doesn't exist.	1.1019	0.01937	265	239	25	1
9193	My name I should Monty.	1.1013	0.02299	237	217	16	4
9194	Is your chest pain a tightness like that or should I light the torch?	1.1012	0.01923	247	222	25	0
9195	So to conclude your appointment, you need to stop playing with your “small snakes”	1.1007	0.02057	268	244	21	3
9196	"Take two aspirin and go to bed.........with him"	1.1007	0.01947	278	252	24	2
9197	Now you won't have to go to the airport to get your TSO hugs.	1.1000	0.01903	270	244	25	1
9198	Did you try playing the Pungi?	1.1000	0.02252	230	210	17	3
9199	Snake Therapy, Better then wearing a stupid gown	1.1000	0.02028	240	217	22	1
9200	I'm writing you a referral - we like to think this specialist is the guru of Kundalini sleep disorder	1.0996	0.02055	251	228	21	2
9201	Does this fetish have anything to do with a tail?	1.0996	0.02020	241	218	22	1
9202	That vaccum hose you brought in last time must be jealous!	1.0992	0.02123	252	230	19	3
9203	But this boa shawl keeps me warm doc!	1.0992	0.02096	242	220	20	2
9204	Well, your highness, you must have known it would digest that elephant eventually.	1.0968	0.02214	217	198	17	2
9205	You’ll have to submit an invoice.	1.0966	0.02096	238	217	19	2
9206	Your complaining has finally stopped. Other than tightness in your chest, what do you feel? This is our new method of testing your blood pressure. Is this a 'Therapy Snake'?	1.0961	0.02311	229	211	14	4
9207	AT THE END OF A FILM PRODUCTION, WE WOULD CALL WHAT YOUY HAVE IS: "A WRAP	1.0961	0.02047	229	208	20	1
9208	190211_a22536_650.jpg?	1.0960	0.02109	250	229	18	3
9209	By the way, how do you train the python to control the strength of its coil...I just need to shed 3 kg...	1.0958	0.01994	240	218	21	1
9210	I just wanted to be fashionable...	1.0950	0.02063	242	221	19	2
9211	So this all started when you noticed you had buns, hun?	1.0947	0.02055	243	222	19	2
9212	Your pulse - who knows? Your blood pressure is up a wee bit though. Your anxiety about finding the perfect snakeskin shoes can't be helping.	1.0941	0.01915	255	232	22	1
9213	But aside from all this, how's that well you built out there?	1.0940	0.02006	234	213	20	1
9214	It every exercise trend should be followed blindly	1.0930	0.02194	215	197	16	2
9215	If you're worried about autism,our office provides an alternative removal schedule.	1.0929	0.02129	226	207	17	2
9216	No, my dear woman, it's not your mink	1.0929	0.02219	226	208	15	3
9217	Another classic case of snorso.	1.0920	0.01872	261	238	22	1
9218	I understand that you feel a lil bit cramped lately? That's a typical millennial problem. Just take a rofecoxib, it helps with everything.	1.0909	0.02029	242	222	18	2
9219	The good news is that we'll have great omelettes tomorrow!	1.0902	0.01797	255	232	23	0
9220	How many times a week do you eat sashimi? Melissa Law/ Baltimore MD	1.0901	0.01976	233	213	19	1
9221	Lemon curd, Schenectady, or shared refulgence.	1.0897	0.02059	234	215	17	2
9222	This leather clothing shouldn't be on the hoof. Er, whatever.	1.0897	0.02059	234	215	17	2
9223	Three or four Andrew Wheeler tweets usually gets them pacing for their lives"	1.0895	0.01947	257	236	19	2
9224	How do you like my shoes?	1.0891	0.01940	258	237	19	2
9225	I've been feeling really constricted by life recently.	1.0891	0.01989	247	227	18	2
9226	I still believe in individuality.	1.0884	0.01974	249	229	18	2
9227	Who have a blabber adder.	1.0875	0.01828	240	219	21	0
9228	jkjk	1.0864	0.02069	243	225	15	3
9229	Thanks man I love the coat, no trade backs.	1.0864	0.01986	243	224	17	2
9230	a prescription fo	1.0861	0.02060	209	192	16	1
9231	We're getting meta here, aren't we. At least you don't have wings.	1.0861	0.01978	244	225	17	2
9232	I don	1.0830	0.01780	265	244	20	1
9233	Even at my WORK, Helen?	1.0824	0.01812	255	235	19	1
9234	Oh! I am wearing sneakers usually on foot.	1.0815	0.01992	233	216	15	2
9235	At first I thought he loved, but now I'm starting to doubt that.	1.0812	0.01984	234	217	15	2
9236	T	1.0810	0.01919	247	229	16	2
9237	What about diamonds and gold, is that what you keep in your mouf?	1.0797	0.01803	251	232	18	1
9238	I could say there’s a snake in your boot, but there’s a snake on your neck	1.0776	0.01807	245	227	17	1
9239	I diagnose you with buns -Dr. Mix-a-Lot	1.0776	0.01898	245	228	15	2
9240	Well, this is a curly medical problem!	1.0741	0.02013	216	202	12	2
9241	So, you say this is because your date didn't have buns, huh?	1.0739	0.01894	257	241	13	3
9242	Hey Doc, I’m having trouble with my constricting.	1.0726	0.01747	248	231	16	1
9243	You're lucky! Exoes are always earlier than enodoes.	1.0723	0.01896	235	220	13	2
9244	Well I told you George, you're not going out every nigh of the week.	1.0723	0.01798	235	219	15	1
9245	I prescribe you two snake hatchlings to grow up on your feet.	1.0722	0.01772	263	246	15	2
9246	What ever may be the prescription, take it. No option Condition is applied*	1.0714	0.01720	252	235	16	1
9247	DONOT WORRY DOC IT WILL NOT BITE AS OR TEMPERATURE TAKE IN MY MOUTH	1.0684	0.01862	234	220	12	2
9248	It is interest in	1.0567	0.01683	247	235	10	2
9249	People call me sneaky, but I can’t seem to understand why.”	1.0502	0.01740	219	210	7	2

Contest #651

Cartoon

The winning captions

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