Contest #644


Cartoon

644

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “If we time it right, I can get you in this house today.”
  2. “It's pricier than the clown's mouth, but you save on energy costs.”
  3. “Here we just call it golf.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-12-31T00:30:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-01-14T00:31:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-01-08T00:30:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued January 14, 2019
Number of captions 5708
Number of responses 1629394
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My next selection sounds just like the last one. 1.6000 0.04554 300 177 66 57
1 This next song is pretty much the same as the last one. 1.5556 0.04526 279 169 65 45
2 You may have heard your children play this next piece. 1.5338 0.04222 296 179 76 41
3 And now, my musical interpretation of the Trump presidency... 1.5254 0.04525 295 192 51 52
4 Anyone else forget to turn off their cellphone? 1.5138 0.04151 290 177 77 36
5 I could have been a conductor. 1.5069 0.04260 288 181 68 39
6 My next piece may sound a little bit like the last one. 1.5015 0.04009 325 206 75 44
7 This next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.4983 0.04018 303 188 79 36
8 They say dress for the job you want; not the job you have. 1.4966 0.04073 292 181 77 34
9 That's right. I'm just that good. 1.4942 0.04551 257 166 55 36
10 You may have heard this little number before...if you have a cat and a piano. 1.4919 0.04039 309 196 74 39
11 And now, I've got an old score to settle. 1.4897 0.04102 292 184 73 35
12 This next piece was written by my cat. 1.4846 0.04313 293 194 56 43
13 Hit it! 1.4812 0.03794 293 177 91 25
14 And now Gershwin’s lesser-known ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’ 1.4810 0.04103 289 184 71 34
15 After a few drinks we agreed to swap jobs for the evening. I guarantee the pianist is NOT having fun. 1.4787 0.04356 282 187 55 40
16 And now the famous sonata for piano and concussion. 1.4779 0.04261 249 155 69 25
17 I just play the hits. 1.4757 0.04054 288 183 73 32
18 This next one’s dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.4740 0.04073 289 185 71 33
19 I will now play Trump's étude in diplomacy 1.4731 0.04669 260 178 41 41
20 I'll conclude with Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4727 0.03912 311 199 77 35
21 I coulda been a contata. 1.4719 0.04287 267 173 62 32
22 I’m just going to hit a few notes. 1.4704 0.04316 270 177 59 34
23 I always hate this part of the dream. 1.4695 0.04149 279 180 67 32
24 I will now play Sonata for Trump’s First Two Years. 1.4678 0.04261 295 199 54 42
25 I would like to dedicate this to my ex-wife. 1.4664 0.04339 268 177 57 34
26 My final encore is for the gentleman asleep in Row 3. 1.4653 0.04081 288 187 68 33
27 I'm gonna need a page turner. 1.4650 0.03981 286 182 75 29
28 You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. 1.4644 0.04049 267 168 74 25
29 Alexa, play literally anything. 1.4640 0.04281 278 185 57 36
30 Ok, that's it! Who forgot to silence their cell phone? 1.4633 0.03864 313 202 77 34
31 Every night it's the same dream. I'm onstage, seated at a piano wearing box gloves, and no pants. 1.4625 0.03892 307 198 76 33
32 Would the guy who booed please stand up? 1.4615 0.03948 286 182 76 28
33 Oh, you said "Bach's" 1.4605 0.04135 304 205 58 41
34 To make it even more interesting my Assistant will now blindfold me. 1.4595 0.03900 309 201 74 34
35 Cough one more time, I dare you. 1.4591 0.04338 257 169 58 30
36 Now a tribute to our current President 1.4591 0.04275 281 189 55 37
37 No, that was Für Elise. Now try to name this tune... 1.4588 0.04114 279 182 66 31
38 You may laugh, but the last time I had the lid drop on my hands I couldn’t play for a month. 1.4570 0.04018 291 190 69 32
39 After a month of Christmas songs, I'd like to play one for Boxing Day! 1.4564 0.04005 298 196 68 34
40 Someone stole my tip jar last night. That’ll never happen again. 1.4556 0.04148 270 176 65 29
41 Ladies and Gentlemen,.. Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4545 0.04014 297 196 67 34
42 For my next selection, Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.4535 0.04192 269 177 62 30
43 When we change to C sharp major, the gloves come off. 1.4530 0.04031 298 198 65 35
44 Sorry for the gloves, but some of the notes are sharp. 1.4528 0.03889 307 201 73 33
45 The conductor and I have worked out our artistic differences. 1.4525 0.03709 305 193 86 26
46 Please join me in the Julliard School fight song 1.4522 0.03904 314 208 70 36
47 I wasn't joking about the cell phones 1.4496 0.03993 278 180 71 27
48 And now here's something for those of you who slept through the Mozart. 1.4493 0.04079 276 181 66 29
49 If you think this looks difficult, wait till you see me play the harp. 1.4484 0.03913 310 206 69 35
50 Now, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.4472 0.03899 284 183 75 26
51 And now, here’s one that pretty much anybody can play. 1.4467 0.03981 300 200 66 34
52 We'll have a brief intermission while I make a pretty big career decision. 1.4460 0.04120 278 185 62 31
53 I find the piece goes quickly if I can hit a bunch of notes at the same time. 1.4440 0.04349 250 167 55 28
54 I'm going to need someone to turn the pages for me. 1.4437 0.03932 302 201 68 33
55 I play the anthem the way he runs the country 1.4436 0.04400 275 192 44 39
56 Please hold your applause until the final bell 1.4422 0.03780 303 197 78 28
57 Please turn on your cell phones. 1.4409 0.04075 279 186 63 30
58 And now, because you're drunk and not listening anyway... 1.4392 0.04045 296 201 60 35
59 Handel with care 1.4387 0.04118 269 179 62 28
60 It hasn't been a smooth career transition 1.4369 0.03780 309 204 75 30
61 My cat composed this next one. 1.4366 0.04142 284 194 56 34
62 Sir, would you mind not ringing that bell before every movement? 1.4366 0.03894 284 186 72 26
63 Finally, Ravel's Bolero is going to get what it deserves. 1.4361 0.04285 266 182 52 32
64 No need to turn off your cell phones. 1.4345 0.03957 290 194 66 30
65 Sit back and relax - tonight it's nothing but the hits! 1.4345 0.03835 290 190 74 26
66 What it lacks in subtlety it gains in punch. 1.4341 0.03910 258 165 74 19
67 For my encore, Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4338 0.04037 302 208 57 37
68 I dedicate this song to my father and mother who had different plans for me. 1.4336 0.03935 286 190 68 28
69 I've suffered for my art. Now it's your turn. 1.4333 0.03946 300 203 64 33
70 And this next piece is for my ex-wife. 1.4332 0.04060 277 186 62 29
71 And now, a request from the drunks at table three. 1.4321 0.03963 280 186 67 27
72 This next piece is forte. Very, very forte. 1.4316 0.03849 285 187 73 25
73 And consider that a warning. Anyone else wanna answer their phone? 1.4315 0.04054 292 200 58 34
74 I call it Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4313 0.03715 313 207 77 29
75 If I hear one more cell phone ringing, the gloves come off! 1.4306 0.04048 281 190 61 30
76 I trust the jurors will consider degree of difficulty. 1.4306 0.03984 281 188 65 28
77 I'll be delighted to meet with the critics after the show. 1.4305 0.03604 302 194 86 22
78 Any other stupid requests? 1.4301 0.04079 272 183 61 28
79 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Leonard Bernstein. 1.4301 0.03940 279 185 68 26
80 I’m just gonna knock out a few tunes for you. 1.4296 0.03974 291 197 63 31
81 Can I get a page turner in here?? 1.4276 0.04025 283 192 61 30
82 I started out tickling the ivories ... now I like to beat the crap out of them! 1.4263 0.03803 312 211 69 32
83 You think this was bad? You should hear me play the violin. 1.4262 0.03961 298 204 61 33
84 I shall say this only once. Cell phones off! 1.4249 0.04098 273 186 58 29
85 This next piece was written as a round...actually ten rounds. 1.4245 0.04139 278 192 54 32
86 Beethoven’s going down in the 5th 1.4244 0.03837 311 212 66 33
87 This is dedicated to the critics who thought my last performance lacked finesse. 1.4244 0.03728 311 208 74 29
88 I was told to be careful - some of the keys are sharp. 1.4242 0.04096 264 178 60 26
89 You want to step up on the stage and say that, sir? 1.4228 0.03902 298 203 64 31
90 I'm not so much tickling the ivory as I am pounding them into submission. 1.4226 0.03650 310 205 79 26
91 This is Mozart's Concerto in G minor, A major, D minor and C#. 1.4217 0.03897 313 217 60 36
92 These stay on until the tip jar is full. 1.4216 0.03759 287 189 75 23
93 This one's going out to my ex-wife and her attorney. 1.4216 0.03798 306 207 69 30
94 And now a piece by Punchini. 1.4201 0.03907 288 195 65 28
95 Now, for the grand finale—my blindfold, please. 1.4199 0.03771 312 212 69 31
96 I was told to expect a tough crowd. 1.4190 0.03752 284 187 75 22
97 I guarantee: Beethoven is going down in the 5th. 1.4188 0.03985 277 188 62 27
98 I composed my next piece after my divorce. 1.4184 0.04440 239 166 46 27
99 What? It’s FLIGHT of the Bumblebee? 1.4176 0.04126 273 189 54 30
100 I coulda been a conductor. 1.4169 0.03837 295 200 67 28
101 Maim that tune. 1.4164 0.04005 293 204 56 33
102 Now for my take on Gershwin, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue”. 1.4164 0.03942 281 191 63 27
103 Would the gentleman in the balcony care to repeat that remark? 1.4164 0.03942 281 191 63 27
104 And now Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4153 0.03563 313 207 82 24
105 The next piece is a new work titled "A day at the White House". 1.4152 0.04048 277 191 57 29
106 This next piece features dense chords, unusual harmonies, and a pounding rhythm. 1.4150 0.03793 306 209 67 30
107 I will now play a piece inspired by my visit to the White House 1.4150 0.04364 253 178 45 30
108 For my next piece, the gloves are coming off. 1.4146 0.03850 287 194 67 26
109 Is there nothing atonal enough that you snobs wouldn't pretend to like? 1.4137 0.04004 278 191 59 28
110 Could you turn the page, please? 1.4136 0.03805 295 200 68 27
111 One of my greatest hits... 1.4118 0.03734 306 208 70 28
112 I will now perform Bach's little-know Golden Gloves Variations. 1.4113 0.04075 265 182 57 26
113 Go on, request Piano Man man again. I dare you. 1.4111 0.03910 287 197 62 28
114 And now, Mozart's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.4111 0.03941 287 198 60 29
115 I call this next number, ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’. 1.4111 0.04253 270 192 45 33
116 It's Shostakovich. You won't notice the difference. 1.4103 0.03941 290 201 59 30
117 No, Franz is my elder brother...I'm Pugi Liszt. 1.4100 0.04225 261 183 49 29
118 Tonight, only hits. 1.4091 0.03628 308 207 76 25
119 This next little number will knock you out. 1.4086 0.04091 257 176 57 24
120 Who requested a fight song? 1.4081 0.03858 272 183 67 22
121 This piece is called 'Flight of the Elephant.' 1.4078 0.04083 282 199 51 32
122 You mean it isn't "'Fight'" of the Bumblebee?" 1.4071 0.03913 280 192 62 26
123 Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4070 0.03926 285 197 60 28
124 After all those Christmas carols, this one is for Boxing Day 1.4067 0.03813 300 207 64 29
125 Just wait until after intermission; that’s when the gloves come off! 1.4065 0.03609 310 209 76 25
126 I’ll be playing this in pugilissimo. 1.4060 0.04024 266 183 58 25
127 Anyone can play blindfolded. 1.4057 0.03934 281 194 60 27
128 Here’s the tricky part. 1.4051 0.03513 311 207 82 22
129 I plan to take Beethoven in the Ninth. 1.4050 0.03921 279 192 61 26
130 The ski boots are making it difficult to work the pedals. 1.4049 0.03966 284 198 57 29
131 It'll be three rounds of Bach and then the gloves come off. 1.4048 0.03776 294 201 67 26
132 Tonight I'll be playing Chopin's Nocturne in C#, D, D#, E, and F Minor. 1.4046 0.03971 304 217 51 36
133 For this next fugue I am going to take the gloves off. 1.4043 0.03954 282 196 58 28
134 It was at that moment,Ted realized he had put his boxing gloves on instead of his tuxedo pants. Again. 1.4042 0.03935 287 200 58 29
135 And now for a little Rockymaninoff. 1.4042 0.03809 287 196 66 25
136 You don't understand. I could've played a cadenza. I could've been somebody! 1.4041 0.03916 292 204 58 30
137 And now, a Chopin nocturne in C, D, E, F and very probably G. 1.4038 0.03796 317 223 60 34
138 This next one goes out to all my critics 1.4035 0.03795 285 194 67 24
139 I will only be playing my hits. 1.4034 0.03916 295 207 57 31
140 This one goes out to my ex wife. 1.4030 0.04000 268 185 58 25
141 This next piece is titled "Ode To My Parents Who Could Not Agree On After School Activities" 1.4029 0.03896 278 191 62 25
142 And now a little piece I wrote watching the news. 1.4028 0.04006 283 199 54 30
143 And now, The Ill-Tempered Clavier. 1.4028 0.03955 288 202 56 30
144 Bach off. 1.4027 0.03875 293 204 60 29
145 Could somebody scratch my nose? 1.4020 0.03681 301 205 71 25
146 I'm sorry. All I know are fight songs. 1.4015 0.03832 274 186 66 22
147 The next selection is my own composition,'Rhapsody in Black and Blue'. 1.4013 0.03655 304 207 72 25
148 I am now going to play a piano interpretation of Donald Trump’s presidency. 1.4007 0.04169 282 204 43 35
149 And now the theme from Rocky, as it was meant to be played. 1.4007 0.03932 287 201 57 29
150 I tend to fight Bach. 1.4000 0.03746 290 198 68 24
151 Yeah. I’m that good. 1.3993 0.03795 298 207 63 28
152 Next, Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3993 0.03735 298 205 67 26
153 Anyone can play with his bare hands. 1.3993 0.03744 283 192 69 22
154 This last piece is from my boxed set. 1.3993 0.03893 278 192 61 25
155 The next piece is entitled, "The Trump White House." 1.3993 0.04056 278 197 51 30
156 And now, the hits. 1.3992 0.04304 248 176 45 27
157 Any other hecklers out there? I thought not. 1.3986 0.03660 296 201 72 23
158 Next critic? 1.3986 0.03722 296 203 68 25
159 Tonight I'll be performing some of my greatest hits. 1.3986 0.04012 276 194 54 28
160 This next piece is for the critic who called me a 'lightweight.' 1.3981 0.03492 309 207 81 21
161 This tune is dedicated to the President 1.3980 0.03770 294 203 65 26
162 And now, time to knock out a few classics. 1.3980 0.03831 294 205 61 28
163 I dedicate this piece to the Times critic in the second row. 1.3972 0.03738 287 196 68 23
164 It’s not like you can hear me over your phones anyhow. 1.3969 0.04202 262 187 46 29
165 The inspiration for my next piece comes from being bullied on my way to piano lessons. 1.3965 0.03656 285 192 73 20
166 You'll find this next piece has a little extra punch. 1.3961 0.04064 255 177 55 23
167 And now, the 1812 Overture as it was meant to be played. 1.3953 0.03992 258 178 58 22
168 I'm done tickling them. 1.3953 0.03719 296 204 67 25
169 I coulda been a cadenza." 1.3952 0.04262 248 176 46 26
170 I will now perform "Dance of the Sugar Ray Plum Fairy". 1.3951 0.03746 286 196 67 23
171 I like to play this one Pugilisimo 1.3944 0.03829 284 197 62 25
172 This next piece is called A Presidential Press Conference. 1.3938 0.03846 292 205 59 28
173 Let's see how many of youse remember dis one… 1.3937 0.03614 315 218 70 27
174 Let's have a clean fugue, and no hitting below middle C. 1.3932 0.03817 295 207 60 28
175 I thought you said FIGHT of the bumblebee. 1.3930 0.04039 257 179 55 23
176 And now for a piece my two year old son wrote 1.3929 0.03833 280 194 62 24
177 I coulda been a composer 1.3929 0.03672 308 214 67 27
178 And now, my rendition of the crap these kids are listening to nowadays. 1.3929 0.03932 280 197 56 27
179 This next tune may ring a bell. 1.3926 0.03698 298 206 67 25
180 This next tune was written by Mike Tyson, who, I'm told, plays by ear. 1.3923 0.03481 339 235 75 29
181 And for my next piece, "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3922 0.03629 306 211 70 25
182 I was misled about how duelling pianos worked. 1.3921 0.03818 278 192 63 23
183 This next piece is dedicated to those critics who say I lacked a deft touch and attacked the piano with a pugilistic style. 1.3919 0.04071 273 195 49 29
184 Good evening and welcome to our first Mixed Musical Arts competition. 1.3918 0.03846 268 184 63 21
185 Tonight, I've a score to settle with the piano. 1.3914 0.03705 304 212 65 27
186 And now... a medley of big hits. 1.3913 0.04038 276 197 50 29
187 For my final piece, I'd like to play for you Mozart's 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3913 0.03838 299 212 57 30
188 The critic from the Times will not be joining us this evening. 1.3911 0.04092 271 194 48 29
189 And now, my latest composition:”Requiem For a Heavyweight.” 1.3910 0.03748 312 221 60 31
190 I will now play for you Mozart's little-known "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3910 0.03903 289 205 55 29
191 Give me a minute while I break in this new piano. 1.3906 0.03643 297 204 70 23
192 Could I have a volunteer from the audience to come scratch my nose? 1.3904 0.03750 292 203 64 25
193 And now, my tribute to Philip Glass. 1.3902 0.03891 287 203 56 28
194 I call it "Fur Ali." 1.3897 0.03704 290 200 67 23
195 I call it pugilissimo. 1.3897 0.03704 290 200 67 23
196 And now, Mozart's "A Little Fight Music" 1.3893 0.03726 298 208 64 26
197 I will now perform 'Rhapsody in Black & Blue' 1.3892 0.03574 316 219 71 26
198 What would you have done if your teacher kept hitting your fingers? 1.3891 0.03740 293 204 64 25
199 And now something for the critics 1.3887 0.03787 301 213 59 29
200 This next piece is called Sonata in C, D, E, F, G, and B Flat Minor. 1.3887 0.04229 247 176 46 25
201 Sorry sir, but "My Way" means my way. 1.3883 0.03725 291 202 65 24
202 And now, Beethoven in the 5th. 1.3883 0.03757 291 203 63 25
203 I'd like to knock out a few tunes for you 1.3878 0.03852 294 209 56 29
204 My father wanted me to box and my mother wanted me to play the piano. I call this piece The Regrettable Compromise. 1.3876 0.03704 307 216 63 28
205 And now the Minuet in C, C sharp, D, D sharp, E, F, F sharp 1.3875 0.03900 289 206 54 29
206 Tonight I’d like to play a medley of my hits. 1.3869 0.03921 274 193 56 25
207 Alex Ross wrote last week that I played as if wearing boxing gloves. This next piece is for Alex. 1.3868 0.03471 318 218 77 23
208 Can ANYONE name that tune ?? Anyone ?? Anyone ?? 1.3864 0.03751 308 219 59 30
209 I give you Rockymaninoff. 1.3862 0.03858 290 206 56 28
210 Before I begin I want to thank my piano teacher, Mike Tyson. 1.3861 0.03895 259 179 60 20
211 Can somebody adjust my tie? 1.3859 0.04140 241 169 51 21
212 There are no white notes; there are no black notes; there are just... notes. 1.3852 0.03819 270 187 62 21
213 It’s an experimental piece. 1.3852 0.03819 270 187 62 21
214 I was told my tunes weren't punchy enough. 1.3849 0.03889 252 173 61 18
215 "Do I hear a request for Rhapsody in Black and Blue?" 1.3849 0.03727 304 215 61 28
216 For this next one I'll need a volunteer. 1.3846 0.03742 299 211 61 27
217 And next, a piece written by President Trump. 1.3846 0.04142 260 187 46 27
218 And the hits just keep coming. 1.3846 0.03712 299 210 63 26
219 Oh, THAT kind of dueling pianos. 1.3841 0.03707 289 201 65 23
220 And now. Gershwin as you've never heard him. 1.3838 0.03843 271 189 60 22
221 Now I'd like to knock out a few requests. 1.3837 0.04017 258 182 53 23
222 This next piece is a knockout. 1.3835 0.03745 266 182 66 18
223 We've had a request for "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." 1.3833 0.03789 287 202 60 25
224 Tonight, I will finally give this piano what it has deserved for years. 1.3832 0.03951 274 195 53 26
225 The ivories have announced they no longer want to be tickled. 1.3831 0.03662 308 217 64 27
226 If you don't like my playing, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. 1.3831 0.03589 295 203 71 21
227 I float like a butterfly and sting like a B-sharp. 1.3822 0.04005 259 183 53 23
228 And now, a Victor Borge etude from his deconstructive period. 1.3821 0.03686 280 193 67 20
229 We're recording this one as a boxed set. 1.3817 0.03415 317 217 79 21
230 I dedicate this last tune to the guy snoring in row one 1.3816 0.03724 304 216 60 28
231 And for my next piece, I will need a new piano. 1.3815 0.03815 270 188 61 21
232 I'm done tickling the ivories. 1.3813 0.03616 299 208 68 23
233 I call this number “Rhapsody in Black and Blue” 1.3811 0.03675 265 180 69 16
234 Oh, sure, when Glenn Gould does it it's 'eccentric,' but when I do it you say 'Larry has dementia pugilistica.' 1.3806 0.04047 268 193 48 27
235 And as promised, my finale is a real knockout. 1.3801 0.03545 292 200 73 19
236 Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my first ever Pay-Per-View event... 1.3798 0.03720 287 201 63 23
237 And now, as promised, a knockout performance 1.3797 0.03680 295 207 64 24
238 Howard had gravely misunderstood what the club manager meant by "dueling pianos." 1.3796 0.04047 274 199 46 29
239 I like to think that I legato like a butterfly and staccato like bee. 1.3794 0.03930 282 203 51 28
240 And now, the Gold’s Gym Variations 1.3788 0.03791 293 209 57 27
241 This song is dedicated to my mother-in-law.... 1.3787 0.03646 272 186 69 17
242 And now, 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3781 0.04013 283 207 45 31
243 ...and now Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor. And also in A Major, B Minor, D Minor, E Minor, F Major and G Major. Just because I can. 1.3780 0.03809 291 208 56 27
244 Subtlety and nuance are so overrated. 1.3780 0.03899 254 177 58 19
245 And now, an ode to my ex-wife. 1.3777 0.03836 278 197 57 24
246 You should see the other piano 1.3776 0.03760 286 202 60 24
247 Why yes, it IS a player piano. Why do you ask? 1.3775 0.03648 302 213 64 25
248 We're doing the 1812 .... couldn't afford the cannons 1.3769 0.03793 268 187 61 20
249 And now for the main event. Brahm's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.3768 0.03680 276 191 66 19
250 The next piece is scheduled to go four rounds. 1.3768 0.03608 276 189 70 17
251 My next piece will be “Fight of the Bumblebee” 1.3768 0.03821 276 195 58 23
252 I call this one 'Crippling the Ivories'. 1.3766 0.03655 308 219 62 27
253 I will now play The Boxer by Simon & Garfunkel, as it's never been played before. 1.3766 0.03537 308 215 70 23
254 I wish to prove wrong the critic who said I played as if I were wearing boxing gloves 1.3766 0.03446 308 212 76 20
255 You wanna come up here and say that? 1.3766 0.03655 308 219 62 27
256 And now, 'Toddlers Pounding on Piano', an original score by my 3-year old twins. 1.3763 0.03617 287 199 68 20
257 I call this next piece "Beethoven's Fist". 1.3762 0.03686 311 223 59 29
258 For my next song I'll play something from the early Trump years, Covfefe, in g-minor. 1.3759 0.03976 274 198 49 27
259 And now, Rossini's earlier and lesser-known work, The Boxer of Seville. 1.3759 0.03734 274 191 63 20
260 I tell ya, I coulda been somebody... I coulda been a conductor! 1.3759 0.03909 274 196 53 25
261 I love pounding the ivories. 1.3759 0.03689 290 204 63 23
262 And now for another piece composed by Donald J Trump 1.3758 0.03861 298 217 50 31
263 I will be performing the cannon solo from Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture transcribed for piano. 1.3755 0.03890 269 191 55 23
264 If you’re looking for treble, you found it. 1.3755 0.03705 277 193 64 20
265 Ladies and gentleman, I will now play for you, "The Ill-Tempered Clavier" 1.3754 0.03864 285 205 53 27
266 I am also a neurosurgeon. 1.3750 0.03635 296 208 65 23
267 My other instrument is the hammered dulcimer. 1.3750 0.03978 264 189 51 24
268 And now, Liszt's sonata in B minor, B major, A minor, C major... All of the keys, really. 1.3750 0.03770 288 205 58 25
269 The finale is a knockout. 1.3750 0.03635 296 208 65 23
270 This will be easy, tying my tie was the difficult task. 1.3750 0.03606 288 200 68 20
271 Tickling isn't what these ivories like. 1.3750 0.03859 272 193 56 23
272 Now I'd like to pound out some old favorites. 1.3746 0.03640 299 211 64 24
273 It's a variation I call 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' 1.3738 0.03648 305 217 62 26
274 Will someone ring the bell so I can start? 1.3737 0.03562 297 207 69 21
275 Tonight, I go 10 rounds with Liszt 1.3736 0.03668 273 189 66 18
276 I dedicate this next number to everyone who believed I coulda been a contender. 1.3736 0.03743 265 184 63 18
277 Oh, 'boo' yourself! Let's see you try it! 1.3733 0.03603 292 204 67 21
278 So what? Beethoven was deaf. 1.3731 0.03968 268 193 50 25
279 I am very happy to be back here in Madison Square Garden 1.3730 0.03539 311 219 68 24
280 I need another page-turner. 1.3727 0.04039 271 198 45 28
281 I have wrestled with Tchaikovsky my entire life, but tonight I'm going to clobber him!" 1.3720 0.03593 293 205 67 21
282 I dare you to keep your cell phone on. 1.3717 0.03777 269 189 60 20
283 Hecklers are welcome to join me onstage. 1.3714 0.03843 280 201 54 25
284 For you, Mr. President, very large clumps of only white keys. 1.3713 0.03924 272 196 51 25
285 I shall select Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3710 0.03645 283 198 65 20
286 It's a percussion instrument, dammit! 1.3710 0.03679 283 199 63 21
287 This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. 1.3706 0.03848 286 207 52 27
288 First, I like to show the piano who’s boss. 1.3704 0.03765 270 190 60 20
289 This is my concerto in 15 rounds. 1.3695 0.03508 295 205 71 19
290 The next piece is from the Maestro's black and blue period. 1.3694 0.03857 268 191 55 22
291 I'll begin our evening of Wagner with 15 rounds in The Ring. 1.3693 0.03545 306 216 67 23
292 This last movement opens with a mandatory eight count. 1.3690 0.03680 271 189 64 18
293 This might sound a little rocky. 1.3690 0.03861 271 194 54 23
294 We'll start on the count of three -- and, of course, finish on the count of ten. 1.3690 0.03680 290 206 61 23
295 I will next perform Rachmaninoff's piano concerto No. 2, in the key of B-flat, A-flat and D-sharp. 1.3684 0.03887 285 208 49 28
296 And now for some Phillip Glass. 1.3681 0.03664 288 204 62 22
297 Rhapsody in black and blue. 1.3680 0.03465 269 182 75 12
298 This next piece is titled Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3677 0.03628 310 223 60 27
299 I seem to have Baroque the piano. 1.3673 0.03860 294 216 48 30
300 It’s my reminder to think outside the Bachs. 1.3673 0.03819 275 197 55 23
301 I shall now play "Flight of the elephant." 1.3671 0.03970 286 212 43 31
302 Inspired by a recent court order, I call this piece "Anger Management" 1.3669 0.03992 248 177 51 20
303 And now, “Flight of the butterfly, by Muhammad Ali. 1.3669 0.03891 278 202 50 26
304 And now for something a little more dissonant. 1.3660 0.03771 265 187 59 19
305 Can I get a volunteer to turn pages....? 1.3660 0.03809 265 188 57 20
306 Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest. 1.3659 0.03630 276 193 65 18
307 And here's a little something that I knocked out this afternoon... 1.3656 0.03639 279 196 64 19
308 This next piece is my homage to cognitive dissonance. 1.3655 0.03643 290 206 62 22
309 For my next hit... 1.3654 0.03487 301 211 70 20
310 I am going to play an original composition that I am sure you will love, if you know what's good for you. 1.3653 0.03785 271 193 57 21
311 My next piece is entitled..."To Hell With Nuance" . 1.3652 0.03749 282 202 57 23
312 I dedicate this next piece to the critics." 1.3652 0.03681 282 200 61 21
313 I’ve finished writing the verses, but I still need the right hook. 1.3649 0.03716 296 214 56 26
314 And now for my sonata in C, C sharp, D, E, and F. 1.3646 0.03932 277 203 47 27
315 For my encore, I will play a little-known piece by George Gershwin and Joe Louis. 1.3646 0.03559 288 202 67 19
316 And now I shall play Beethoven's Fist. 1.3646 0.03790 288 209 53 26
317 Next, Variations on a Theme by Pugilisti. 1.3645 0.03659 299 215 59 25
318 Next I am going to play one of my smash hits 1.3643 0.03633 291 207 62 22
319 I can't start without my page turner! 1.3640 0.03737 272 193 59 20
320 And now, Beethoven's 5th Round! 1.3640 0.03738 283 203 57 23
321 Next I'll perform a few classical hits. 1.3639 0.03542 294 207 67 20
322 I call this next one “An Ode to 2018.” 1.3639 0.03733 294 213 55 26
323 I've been told you're a tough audience. 1.3636 0.03461 308 217 70 21
324 Here are some of my greatest hits. 1.3636 0.03736 297 216 54 27
325 I'm warning you coughers, one more sound and the gloves are coming off. 1.3633 0.03779 289 210 53 26
326 That last Christmas concerto was by Rachmaninoff. And a now a little something for Boxing Day. 1.3630 0.03864 270 195 52 23
327 And now, a rarely-performed work by an obscure composer ... 1.3627 0.03760 284 205 55 24
328 This piece calls for more force and less precision. 1.3626 0.03653 273 192 63 18
329 This first piece will be a knockout. 1.3625 0.03568 320 232 60 28
330 'This piece knocked me out the first time I heard it." 1.3624 0.03665 298 215 58 25
331 That's it! The gloves are coming off. 1.3623 0.03768 276 198 56 22
332 It's hard to follow a banjo-playing elephant 1.3623 0.03626 276 194 64 18
333 My version of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". 1.3621 0.03672 290 208 59 23
334 Now, I’d like to hit you with something new! 1.3619 0.03699 268 189 61 18
335 And now for George Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Bruise.' 1.3619 0.04077 257 189 43 25
336 And now, I will play the theme from Rocky as it was originally composed. 1.3618 0.03395 304 212 74 18
337 This piece is a knockout. 1.3614 0.03649 285 203 61 21
338 I shall legato like a butterfly and staccato like a bee.' 1.3614 0.03815 285 208 51 26
339 Turns out the ivories prefer to be roughed up a little. 1.3613 0.03503 310 221 66 23
340 And now, mauler 1.3612 0.03860 263 189 53 21
341 Now I’ll play for you a medley of hits. 1.3610 0.03623 313 228 57 28
342 No other pianist would even attempt this. 1.3609 0.03598 302 217 61 24
343 I will now play Chopin's Nocturne in Be-Flattened. 1.3607 0.03762 280 202 55 23
344 My first selection is "Blunt Force Trauma, in E-Minor." 1.3602 0.03576 322 235 58 29
345 This next tune is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3596 0.03452 292 204 71 17
346 I call this piece Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3596 0.03715 292 212 55 25
347 I haven't practiced this piece much. I figured I'd just knock it out. 1.3594 0.03542 281 197 67 17
348 'I'd like to dedicate this next number to my ex-wife." 1.3590 0.03721 273 195 58 20
349 This one's called "Eine Kleine Knockout-musik." 1.3589 0.03760 287 209 53 25
350 LLLET'S GET READY TO CRESCENDOOOOOOO!!!! 1.3588 0.03694 301 220 54 27
351 And now I’d like to bang out a few of my favorite tunes. 1.3588 0.03867 262 189 52 21
352 My next number may lack subtlety but it more than makes up for it in punch. 1.3588 0.03752 262 186 58 18
353 And now, my new arrangement of 'Hail to the Chief.' 1.3588 0.04088 262 195 40 27
354 Time to break in the new piano 1.3586 0.03517 304 217 65 22
355 This next piece consists of twelve rounds. 1.3585 0.03645 265 186 63 16
356 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3584 0.03665 279 199 60 20
357 And now for Beethoven's Ninth Round. 1.3584 0.03543 293 208 65 20
358 And now, I’ll be playing the hits. 1.3583 0.03751 254 179 59 16
359 This next song begins with a standing eight count 1.3583 0.03667 254 177 63 14
360 I can't Handel this. 1.3583 0.03527 321 233 61 27
361 And for the finale, here’s a little something that my 3 year old banged out. 1.3582 0.03567 282 199 65 18
362 And now, a flurry of left jabs in G-minor. 1.3579 0.03619 299 216 59 24
363 And now, if you don't mind, I'd like to knock out a little Chopin. 1.3576 0.03532 302 216 64 22
364 And now for Eine kleine Knockout Musik. 1.3574 0.03573 277 195 65 17
365 Wait...wait...for the punch line! 1.3566 0.03691 272 194 59 19
366 I get a lot of criticism for this next one. 1.3564 0.03770 275 199 54 22
367 And now for some Rockymaninoff. 1.3564 0.03734 275 198 56 21
368 My next number is a knock out. 1.3562 0.03498 306 219 65 22
369 I'll play your request, maam, but for future reference it's "*Flight* of the Bumblebee" 1.3562 0.03710 292 213 54 25
370 Oh! You meant BACH'S music? 1.3561 0.03809 278 203 51 24
371 Tonight The 1812 Overture. Just the cannons firing part. 1.3560 0.03830 250 178 55 17
372 And now for a punchy tune! 1.3560 0.03413 309 219 70 20
373 Everyone else tickles the ivories" 1.3556 0.03511 284 200 67 17
374 This should settle the score! 1.3552 0.03630 290 209 59 22
375 Now a little something from Dukes Ellington. 1.3551 0.03723 276 199 56 21
376 Beethoven’s 9th Round 1.3549 0.03668 293 213 56 24
377 And now for something with a bit of a punch. 1.3548 0.03516 279 196 67 16
378 I thought this piece could use a little more punch. 1.3547 0.03755 265 190 56 19
379 ...and now, "The Black and Blue Danube". 1.3543 0.03527 302 217 63 22
380 Because I'm tired of wrestling with my muse. 1.3539 0.03569 308 224 59 25
381 One more comment like that and these gloves are coming off. 1.3537 0.03528 294 210 64 20
382 I call this next piece 'Losing a Bet' 1.3536 0.03952 280 210 41 29
383 For my next number, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience.... 1.3536 0.03578 280 199 63 18
384 Now for my biggest hit 1.3535 0.03723 297 219 51 27
385 Brad was asked to knock out a tune. 1.3531 0.03662 286 207 57 22
386 All That Jabz. 1.3529 0.03722 272 196 56 20
387 You shoulda seen the other Steinway! 1.3528 0.03499 309 223 63 23
388 I call it, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.3527 0.03471 275 192 69 14
389 Now, the Philip Glass variations on Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.3523 0.03741 281 205 53 23
390 Where is my page turner? 1.3523 0.03638 281 202 59 20
391 I think you'll find this one less subtle than my earlier works 1.3522 0.03469 301 215 66 20
392 I'm just going to punch it up a bit. 1.3521 0.03506 284 201 66 17
393 Now I’d like to knock out a little tune for you. 1.3519 0.03550 287 205 63 19
394 And, now for something completely different. 1.3518 0.03359 307 217 72 18
395 Now, for the fight song. 1.3516 0.03711 273 197 56 20
396 This tune should ring a bell. 1.3516 0.03783 273 199 52 22
397 I'm going to regale you folks with a few of my best hits. 1.3515 0.03533 293 210 63 20
398 This one was written by my three-year-old 1.3515 0.03631 293 213 57 23
399 And now a selection from my boxed set. 1.3513 0.03793 279 205 50 24
400 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Charles... 1.3513 0.03654 279 201 58 20
401 And now Beethoven’s sonata in C, B, Bb, A and G#. 1.3508 0.03589 305 223 57 25
402 Now is there ANYONE ELSE who thinks they want to leave before my recital is over ??? 1.3507 0.03574 288 207 61 20
403 This next piece is a bit heavy-handed. 1.3505 0.03390 311 222 69 20
404 This piece was composed when Mozart was only two. 1.3504 0.03771 274 200 52 22
405 Next up, Theme From Rocky. 1.3504 0.03552 274 194 64 16
406 For this next piece, I’ll be taking the gloves off! 1.3503 0.03389 294 207 71 16
407 While I drink a glass of water. 1.3498 0.03482 303 218 64 21
408 Will someone hit the bell? 1.3498 0.03482 303 218 64 21
409 I'd like to dedicate the next song to my ex-wife. Trudy, this one's for you. 1.3498 0.03482 303 218 64 21
410 You said you wanted a fight song. 1.3495 0.03434 309 222 66 21
411 A brief pause while I respond to a recent review. 1.3495 0.03761 289 214 49 26
412 Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry, I just realized that these are my violin gloves. 1.3494 0.03783 269 196 52 21
413 And now J.S. Bach's – The Ill-Tempered Clavier 1.3493 0.03643 272 195 59 18
414 This next piece is gonna knock you out. 1.3492 0.03448 315 228 64 23
415 And for my next round... 1.3492 0.03714 252 179 58 15
416 And now for some of my boxer shorts. 1.3492 0.03642 295 216 55 24
417 And now for a punchy little number. 1.3492 0.03578 295 214 59 22
418 I'm the guest pianist at the Trump Family Christmas Party. 1.3491 0.03794 275 202 50 23
419 and now, from the ring cycle... 1.3491 0.03567 318 235 55 28
420 I'd like to dedicate this next piece to my wife of 36 years. 1.3489 0.03588 278 199 61 18
421 My next composition is played in twelve 3 minute rounds. 1.3488 0.03496 301 217 63 21
422 And now... a medley of my favorite hits 1.3488 0.03528 301 218 61 22
423 And now, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.3488 0.03681 301 223 51 27
424 This next one is a punchy little tune….” 1.3485 0.03570 307 225 57 25
425 And now, a little Rockymaninoff. 1.3485 0.03943 264 196 44 24
426 Can you hear me now ? 1.3483 0.03801 267 195 51 21
427 And now for some of my greatest hits. 1.3481 0.03626 293 214 56 23
428 Most players “tickle” , I choose to pummel. 1.3480 0.03480 273 192 67 14
429 I knocked out this piece in just ten minutes. 1.3480 0.03536 296 214 61 21
430 I've found these to be enormously helpful in performing Bartok. 1.3480 0.03404 296 210 69 17
431 I call this next piece, "Pounding Headache". 1.3478 0.03667 299 221 52 26
432 And now for Chopin with some punch. 1.3478 0.03827 253 183 52 18
433 This is The Bad-Tempered Clavier 1.3478 0.03953 276 208 40 28
434 And now for a few of my greatest hits... 1.3477 0.03400 325 236 65 24
435 I think I've lost this bet already. 1.3474 0.03697 285 209 53 23
436 Before I begin, are there any critics in the audience tonight? 1.3470 0.03752 268 195 53 20
437 And now, a few of my greatest hits. 1.3470 0.03752 268 195 53 20
438 Trust me, this next song will be a knockout. 1.3469 0.03320 320 229 71 20
439 Next I will play a special piece for Boxing Day. 1.3467 0.03657 274 198 57 19
440 I'd like to start with the second movement, third round. 1.3467 0.03338 300 212 72 16
441 If you grew up on the streets of Philadelphia, you'll certainly appreciate this next piece. 1.3466 0.03630 277 200 58 19
442 I've always loved dueling pianos. 1.3460 0.03592 289 210 58 21
443 Knock out a tune? 1.3459 0.03599 292 213 57 22
444 You'll recognize this next piece from my boxed set. 1.3456 0.03611 298 219 55 24
445 The insurance on my hands hasn’t been processed yet. 1.3456 0.03747 272 199 52 21
446 I float like a butterfly and sting like B flat. 1.3455 0.03754 275 202 51 22
447 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, a medley of my greatest hits. 1.3454 0.03651 249 176 60 13
448 You might be surprised by how subtle and intricate this piece is. 1.3453 0.03619 278 201 58 19
449 My next song is "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3449 0.03741 287 213 49 25
450 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2,” with all notes performed simultaneously. 1.3448 0.03895 261 193 46 22
451 I’m going to knock out some tunes for you tonight. 1.3448 0.03615 290 212 56 22
452 Ladies and Gentlemen,'Beethoven's 5th Round'" 1.3446 0.03563 296 216 58 22
453 I'm ready to Bachs. 1.3444 0.03873 270 201 45 24
454 Believe it or not, that was a little tune I just knocked out. 1.3443 0.03458 305 221 63 21
455 What you are about to hear has never before been played in a concert hall. 1.3440 0.03510 282 202 63 17
456 My next piece is Mozart's Piano Concerto 22 in E Flat Major. Unfortunately, you will not recognize it. 1.3439 0.03520 285 205 62 18
457 Is there a volunteer to flip the music sheet? 1.3435 0.03578 294 215 57 22
458 I'm done with tickling the ivories. 1.3435 0.03446 294 211 65 18
459 Rough crowd tonight 1.3435 0.03480 294 212 63 19
460 This is it. This is the nightmare. 1.3434 0.03740 297 223 46 28
461 Ever have that dream that you went to school in your underwear? This is my version... 1.3434 0.03521 297 216 60 21
462 Observe, ladies and gentlemen, as I put the 'K.O.' back in Tchaikovsky. 1.3433 0.03496 300 218 61 21
463 I will now play our new national anthem. 1.3432 0.03896 271 203 43 25
464 This is a punchy little number. 1.3431 0.03385 306 220 67 19
465 I could've been a contender if it weren't for those damn piano lessons. 1.3431 0.03464 274 194 66 14
466 Tonight, I will not be 'tickling the ivories' as they say... 1.3430 0.03624 277 201 57 19
467 Opus 12, Round 7 1.3430 0.03660 277 202 55 20
468 Excuse me while I knock out a few songs. 1.3429 0.03668 280 205 54 21
469 It just looks hard. 1.3428 0.03606 283 206 57 20
470 And now I will perform "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3428 0.03427 283 201 67 15
471 This won't be pretty. 1.3428 0.03606 283 206 57 20
472 I"ll start with one of my greatest hits. 1.3425 0.03641 254 181 59 14
473 And to conclude tonight's program of heavyweight composers... 1.3425 0.03214 292 203 78 11
474 I'd like to dedicate this encore to my parents, who forced me to play piano, when I would have preferred then, as now, to be doing something else. 1.3425 0.03723 292 218 48 26
475 And now, a collection of my greatest hits. 1.3424 0.03600 295 217 55 23
476 This next piece was composed by the most talented lobster I ever met. 1.3423 0.03825 260 191 49 20
477 I do it my way! 1.3422 0.03324 301 214 71 16
478 Did you say "boxer" or "Bach, Sir"?? 1.3419 0.03453 313 229 61 23
479 Well, fine, I don't think you're a very good audience. 1.3418 0.03641 275 200 56 19
480 And now I'm going to knock out one of my old favorites. 1.3417 0.03467 278 198 65 15
481 Next: 'Rhapsody In Back And Blue'. 1.3417 0.03436 319 234 61 24
482 Now for my knockout finale. 1.3415 0.03560 284 206 59 19
483 And now I will play all the keys at the same time. 1.3412 0.03653 296 220 51 25
484 Clearly, I am the Greatest. 1.3412 0.03427 296 213 65 18
485 Here’s an old standard I’d like to pound out for you 1.3408 0.03638 267 193 57 17
486 Go ahead. Ask me to play Piano Man. I want you to. 1.3408 0.03638 267 193 57 17
487 And now Concerto No. 2 by Rocky Maninoff . 1.3408 0.04006 267 203 37 27
488 Tonight folks, I'm just going to knock out a little tune. . . 1.3407 0.03648 270 196 56 18
489 This next piece is by TKO Bach. 1.3406 0.03630 276 201 56 19
490 If I hear one more person request "Piano Man'", these gloves are coming off. 1.3405 0.03638 279 204 55 20
491 And now, for something a little less intricate. 1.3404 0.03611 282 206 56 20
492 To anyone who didn't immediately recognize it, that was Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto in B-flat Minor. 1.3403 0.03692 288 214 50 24
493 Does anyone else care to complain about my playing? 1.3403 0.03626 288 212 54 22
494 And now, J.S. Bach's BAD-Tempered Clavier. 1.3402 0.03599 291 214 55 22
495 And now, a new composition, "Ode to Trump." 1.3402 0.03533 291 212 59 20
496 Let's get ready to Rrrrrrachmaninoffff! 1.3401 0.03606 294 217 54 23
497 Mom, you and Dad are going to have to reach an agreement as to what you want me to be. 1.3401 0.03606 294 217 54 23
498 I'd like to play you a little something I wrote when I was two and a half. 1.3399 0.03467 303 221 61 21
499 Pianist? I thought you asked for a pugilist...! 1.3397 0.03314 315 227 69 19
500 A concerto for neither left nor right hand. 1.3394 0.03682 274 201 53 20
501 This next piece is atonal. 1.3394 0.03654 277 203 54 20
502 First, I thought I'd knock out a few show tunes. 1.3393 0.03520 280 202 61 17
503 Thank you to the White House Correspondents' Association for inviting me to perform at this year's Correspondents' Dinner. 1.3393 0.03592 280 204 57 19
504 This is from my box set. 1.3393 0.03592 280 204 57 19
505 I 'm sure they said I was to take on Wagner in the ring. 1.3392 0.03574 286 209 57 20
506 I miss the days when just tickling the ivory was enough. 1.3390 0.03523 292 213 59 20
507 During the prestissimo the gloves come off. 1.3390 0.03556 292 214 57 21
508 Great, I'm having another anxiety dream. 1.3389 0.03667 301 226 48 27
509 I composed this next piece when I was two. 1.3383 0.03577 269 194 59 16
510 If you don't quiet down, your nose is going to B-flat. 1.3382 0.03561 275 199 59 17
511 And now for "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.3382 0.03561 275 199 59 17
512 Oh, I wouldn't say that I "tickle" the ivories. 1.3382 0.03813 275 206 45 24
513 Has it been tuned? 1.3381 0.03616 281 206 55 20
514 And it goes something like this. 1.3381 0.03788 281 211 45 25
515 Not to worry, folks. It’s a player piano. 1.3378 0.03553 296 218 56 22
516 And now I’d like to play for you some of my greatest hits. 1.3377 0.03510 305 225 57 23
517 I'll knock out this Beethoven in the Fifth." 1.3377 0.03605 308 231 50 27
518 And now for something a little punchier... 1.3376 0.03115 311 218 81 12
519 Trust me. It’s all in the wrist. 1.3371 0.03593 267 193 58 16
520 Did I hear a request for a fight song? 1.3371 0.03553 267 192 60 15
521 I would like to play this next number the way people have been saying I play it. 1.3370 0.03731 276 205 49 22
522 This one is dedicated to my lovely ex-wife. 1.3370 0.03660 276 203 53 20
523 Due to the present social environment I can no longer tickle the ivories 1.3370 0.03696 276 204 51 21
524 Now, a brief interlude while I make a momentous career choice. 1.3369 0.03640 282 208 53 21
525 Who's up for another round? 1.3369 0.03535 282 205 59 18
526 This next song is a knockout. 1.3368 0.03402 285 204 66 15
527 Ohh, Bach? I thought you said "box". 1.3368 0.03474 285 206 62 17
528 And now, a touching musical tribute to the great Muhammad Ali. 1.3368 0.03714 285 213 48 24
529 This is by Liszton. 1.3368 0.03509 285 207 60 18
530 Now for a variation from Bach’s Bad-Tempered Clavier. 1.3368 0.03378 288 206 67 15
531 My therapist told me the way to treat performance anxiety is to imagine my worst fear. 1.3368 0.03561 291 214 56 21
532 I’ll be knocking out songs all night. 1.3367 0.03401 294 212 65 17
533 How about a fight song? 1.3367 0.03401 294 212 65 17
534 That's right, I've been playing the piano with my penis the whole time!" 1.3367 0.03730 297 225 44 28
535 I must warn you in advance about the crescendo. 1.3365 0.03288 318 230 69 19
536 You should a looked out for me Charlie. I could a been a conductor. 1.3358 0.03778 271 202 47 22
537 The next piece is my own take on "Chopsticks" -- I call it "Logs." 1.3358 0.03490 274 197 62 15
538 Yes - It's Rocky the Musical 1.3357 0.03649 277 204 53 20
539 This year, instead of Christmas music, I will play a couple of Boxing Day pieces. 1.3357 0.03656 280 207 52 21
540 And now for Beethoven’s 9th round. 1.3357 0.03463 286 207 62 17
541 We now present a medley of "Madame Butterfly" and "Flight of the Bumblebee" as performed by Muhammad Ali. 1.3357 0.03499 286 208 60 18
542 And now a childhood favorite. 1.3356 0.03517 292 214 58 20
543 Would anyone care to hear another fight song? 1.3356 0.03525 295 217 57 21
544 This next piece - "John Cage Match" - is an homage. 1.3355 0.03539 301 223 55 23
545 Piano Concerto by Pugilini 1.3354 0.03310 319 232 67 20
546 I’m a professional. Please don’t try this at home. 1.3346 0.03637 266 194 55 17
547 I now present "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3346 0.03832 269 202 44 23
548 That was a knockout performance 1.3346 0.03531 269 194 60 15
549 I will now play the theme from Rocky as it was meant to be played. 1.3345 0.03629 275 202 54 19
550 And now it’s “time to take the gloves off” 1.3345 0.03406 284 204 65 15
551 And how am I supposed to turn the page? 1.3345 0.03549 284 208 57 19
552 This next piece I call "The old one-two" 1.3345 0.03498 290 212 59 19
553 I can knock out any tune you name 1.3345 0.03371 293 211 66 16
554 Well, on the plus side, it’s only a MINUTE Waltz. 1.3344 0.03490 299 220 58 21
555 Why hunt and peck when you can bob and weave? 1.3344 0.03458 299 219 60 20
556 I would like to play a little song I wrote that goes nothing like this. 1.3344 0.03466 302 222 59 21
557 This next piece is a total knock-out. 1.3344 0.03443 305 224 60 21
558 And now for the old, ‘One, two’ 1.3344 0.03240 311 223 72 16
559 My next piece is Piano Sonata No. 8 in somewhere between A Minor and E Major." 1.3333 0.03634 282 209 52 21
560 I strongly urge everyone to turn off their cell phone! 1.3333 0.03681 288 216 48 24
561 The good thing is I finally stopped chewing my nails 1.3333 0.03505 297 219 57 21
562 Could I ask someone to retrieve the mouthguard from the soundboard? 1.3333 0.03503 285 208 59 18
563 And now for Philip Glass's ode to Ali. 1.3333 0.03659 294 221 48 25
564 Ladies and gentlemen, I've had a request for the theme from Rocky. 1.3333 0.03607 285 211 53 21
565 I'll be going fifteen rondos. 1.3333 0.03608 273 200 55 18
566 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall take a jab at the piano 1.3333 0.03283 300 215 70 15
567 Bach? I thought you said Box. 1.3333 0.03481 300 221 58 21
568 I dedicate this next piece to Philip Glass. 1.3333 0.03851 267 201 43 23
569 See if you can name this one! 1.3333 0.03419 291 211 63 17
570 I call this one 'Beethoven's Fifth Round.' 1.3333 0.03432 285 206 63 16
571 And now, a selection of greatest hits. 1.3322 0.03471 301 222 58 21
572 Shall I hit it? 1.3322 0.03585 295 220 52 23
573 OK, I get it, a little less forte. 1.3322 0.03420 295 215 62 18
574 Let me just knock out a couple of tunes for you. 1.3322 0.03247 295 210 72 13
575 Anyone want to critique my performance now 1.3322 0.03410 292 212 63 17
576 For my next number I am going to really pound the keys. 1.3322 0.03571 289 214 54 21
577 Before my next performance I'd like to ask the Gazette's music critic to join me onstage. 1.3322 0.03658 283 211 50 22
578 And now, the Tyson Variations. 1.3322 0.03658 283 211 50 22
579 And now, 'Eine Kleine Knock-out-musik' 1.3321 0.03580 280 206 55 19
580 This is my fight song. 1.3321 0.03670 274 203 51 20
581 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fight of the Bumble bee 1.3321 0.03813 274 207 43 24
582 And now, for a rather punchy tune . . . 1.3321 0.03575 268 195 57 16
583 The best Opus is a good defence. 1.3320 0.03659 259 189 54 16
584 A little help please. My fly is open. 1.3320 0.03770 256 189 49 18
585 This piece is called Requiem for the Presidency. 1.3320 0.03890 256 192 43 21
586 I will now demonstrate how to knock out a tune. 1.3320 0.03850 256 191 45 20
587 Next, a piece I composed when I was three years old. 1.3311 0.03704 299 228 43 28
588 The next one goes something like this. 1.3311 0.03510 296 219 56 21
589 My next piece is by the lesser known Johan Sebastian Box 1.3311 0.03468 293 215 59 19
590 Tonight’s performance is sponsored by Everlast. 1.3310 0.03423 290 211 62 17
591 Indeed, I did not quit my day job. 1.3310 0.03593 290 216 52 22
592 And now for a number with a little more punch... 1.3310 0.03483 287 210 59 18
593 From my boxed set of recordings. 1.3310 0.03613 284 211 52 21
594 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B-flat" 1.3309 0.03596 278 205 54 19
595 The conductor said my fortissimo needs a bit more punch. 1.3309 0.03511 275 200 59 16
596 If you think this is bad, I'm also not wearing any pants. 1.3309 0.03623 275 203 53 19
597 That’s the last time I write “OK” to my dyslexic agent. 1.3309 0.03801 275 208 43 24
598 I'm just going to knock out a couple of tunes. 1.3308 0.03783 266 199 46 21
599 This is a new piece I've worked out. Beethoven's fifth round. 1.3307 0.03549 257 185 59 13
600 Let’s get ready to pianooooooooooooooo 1.3301 0.03396 306 225 61 20
601 I'm not the main event. 1.3300 0.03410 300 220 61 19
602 GGGGGEEEEEEETTTTTT RRRREEEAAAAADDDDY TO RACHMANINOFF!!! 1.3299 0.03516 291 215 56 20
603 And now, for Tyson's 5th... 1.3299 0.03642 288 216 49 23
604 And now ... Symphony No. 7 in C, D, and E Major. 1.3299 0.03805 288 221 39 28
605 And now, "The Pugilist's Sonata," in a bunch of keys. 1.3298 0.03602 285 212 52 21
606 I dare you, ask me to play ‘Piano Man’ one more time. 1.3297 0.03548 279 205 56 18
607 And now, Cacophony Number 9 in E minor. 1.3297 0.03538 276 202 57 17
608 For my next piece,I will perform J. S. Box' Golden Glove Variations 1.3297 0.03538 276 202 57 17
609 And in the final movement, I take off the gloves and just go wild. 1.3297 0.03639 273 202 52 19
610 And to my critics, a sustained beating in D minor." 1.3296 0.03667 270 200 51 19
611 For this next number I’d like to punch it up a bit. 1.3296 0.03540 267 194 58 15
612 And now for my knockout number... 1.3295 0.03452 258 184 63 11
613 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a song about my marriage. 1.3295 0.03745 258 191 49 18
614 The next piece is my first composition. I first played it at the age of 6 months. My mother named it "Knock it off". 1.3292 0.03239 319 232 69 18
615 For my encore, I will now play 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3289 0.03554 298 223 52 23
616 And now, something from the light heavyweight classics. 1.3288 0.03438 292 214 60 18
617 Well, at least it's not the late and naked for the final exam dream. 1.3288 0.03733 292 223 42 27
618 Instead of tickling the ivories,tonight I'll be beating them. 1.3287 0.03625 286 214 50 22
619 And now, a quick jab at Rachmaninoff. 1.3287 0.03557 286 212 54 20
620 You see, I only play in my spar time. 1.3286 0.03476 283 207 59 17
621 Yeah, but I don't get any more hecklers. 1.3286 0.03583 283 210 53 20
622 For my next piece I’ll play Cacophony in D minor. 1.3286 0.03754 283 215 43 25
623 Rocky-maninoff . 1.3285 0.03672 277 207 49 21
624 This next piece is played in twelve rounds. 1.3284 0.03424 271 195 63 13
625 Do you want the black notes or the white notes? 1.3284 0.03796 268 202 44 22
626 And now "Flight of the Rhinoceros." 1.3283 0.03751 265 198 47 20
627 This is from Beethoven's fist. 1.3283 0.03674 265 196 51 18
628 My money's on the piano. 1.3281 0.03220 317 230 70 17
629 My next melody is called Whack-a-Mole 1.3279 0.03400 305 225 60 20
630 This next number is really going to knock you out. 1.3278 0.03293 302 219 67 16
631 I can only play the 'dun dun dun dun' part. 1.3278 0.03348 299 218 64 17
632 Look, I was told to pound the keys, and that's what I came here to do. 1.3277 0.03371 296 216 63 17
633 I guess it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3276 0.03452 290 213 59 18
634 Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart — lightweights! 1.3276 0.03347 290 210 65 15
635 This next tune has quite a punch to it. 1.3276 0.03417 290 212 61 17
636 I’ll now do my last hit 1.3276 0.03588 290 217 51 22
637 ...And it kind of goes like this. 1.3276 0.03452 290 213 59 18
638 I'd like to play a punchy little number. 1.3276 0.03654 290 219 47 24
639 I always dread the Boxing Day gig. 1.3276 0.03417 290 212 61 17
640 When was the last time this piano was tuned? 1.3275 0.03648 287 216 48 23
641 There will be no heckling tonight. 1.3273 0.03442 278 202 61 15
642 My record against Bartok is 10 wins, 2 losses, and one audience walkout. 1.3270 0.03363 318 236 60 22
643 My next piece is played in three minute rounds. 1.3268 0.03909 257 195 40 22
644 I call this "The Old One-Two." 1.3267 0.03349 303 222 63 18
645 And now, a roundhouse from T.K.O. Bach. 1.3267 0.03540 303 228 51 24
646 I no longer play by ear. 1.3265 0.03452 294 217 58 19
647 I feel like I'm fighting the music. 1.3265 0.03442 291 214 59 18
648 Well, you said to make it more punchy! 1.3265 0.03229 291 208 71 12
649 I will now float like a butterfly and sting in B. 1.3265 0.03643 291 220 47 24
650 Welcome to the White House holiday party! And please remember to protect yourselves at all times! 1.3264 0.03570 288 215 52 21
651 Let's get ready to rumba. 1.3262 0.03623 282 211 50 21
652 Following this encore, I would like a word with the reviewer who has called my playing ham-fisted. 1.3262 0.03516 282 208 56 18
653 And now ladies and gentleman “ The Trump Sonata.” 1.3261 0.03557 322 247 45 30
654 How can I play with that bright light in my eyes? 1.3261 0.03678 276 207 48 21
655 Round 4 will be Chopin 1.3260 0.03264 319 234 66 19
656 Please excuse the gloves, I'm saving my fingers for a more sophisticated audience 1.3260 0.03481 273 199 59 15
657 A man hears what he wants to hear And disregards the rest 1.3259 0.03507 270 197 58 15
658 Tonight I'll be performing Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". You may need to use your imagination. 1.3259 0.03660 270 201 50 19
659 I'm going to play some Johann Sebastian Box 1.3258 0.03493 267 194 59 14
660 My next piece is by Rockymaninoff." 1.3258 0.03573 267 196 55 16
661 No, they're not for playing. They're for dealing with anyone who criticizes the playing. 1.3258 0.03478 264 191 60 13
662 My next selection will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.3257 0.03536 307 232 50 25
663 I thought you said to play the hits 1.3257 0.03591 304 231 47 26
664 Play chopsticks”? I can’t even hold them 1.3257 0.03340 304 223 63 18
665 I fought the song and the song won 1.3257 0.03499 304 228 53 23
666 And finally, the theme from Rocky. 1.3256 0.03460 301 224 56 21
667 This one is for you mother 1.3256 0.03616 301 229 46 26
668 The music critic said my last performance lacked punch 1.3254 0.03408 295 217 60 18
669 And now, Rockymaninoff piano concerto 3. 1.3254 0.03305 295 214 66 15
670 And now, a more punchy tune. 1.3253 0.03432 292 215 59 18
671 The sound is terrible, but I get way less hecklers. 1.3253 0.03220 292 209 71 12
672 I Only Play Fight Songs 1.3253 0.03466 292 216 57 19
673 And now my rendition of "The Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.3253 0.03456 289 213 58 18
674 This is a medley of my greatest hits, 1.3253 0.03559 289 216 52 21
675 I call this piece 'Bach-xing.' 1.3251 0.03360 283 205 64 14
676 You've heard the theme. Now it's time for the variations. 1.3251 0.03680 283 214 46 23
677 I only play the hits 1.3251 0.03577 283 211 52 20
678 I am practicing for the White House New Year’s party. 1.3250 0.03603 280 209 51 20
679 And now for "The Ill-Tempered Clavier". 1.3250 0.03708 280 212 45 23
680 This next one is Beethoven's fists 1.3249 0.03737 277 210 44 23
681 This next piece is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3249 0.03772 277 211 42 24
682 I will now play a combo of Mozart Concertos in A minor, D minor, and G major. 1.3248 0.03442 311 233 55 23
683 Crazy? Maybe. But you won't forget me. 1.3247 0.03457 271 197 60 14
684 Looks like I’m gonna have to go with the Philip Glass, not the Debussy. 1.3246 0.03639 268 199 51 18
685 It’s an upbeat tempo. One, two. One, two. 1.3246 0.03363 305 225 61 19
686 This should be a lot better than my piccolo playing. 1.3244 0.03656 262 194 51 17
687 I just had a manicure. 1.3244 0.03506 299 224 53 22
688 This next one's not subtle, but it's powerful. 1.3244 0.03240 299 216 69 14
689 I'm asking you to please keep an open mind. 1.3244 0.03376 299 220 61 18
690 This one's got a great hook. 1.3243 0.03726 259 193 48 18
691 Now, 'The Tyson Variations.' 1.3242 0.03653 293 223 45 25
692 In honor of our times I'm playing dischords. 1.3242 0.03422 293 216 59 18
693 I will now play "An etude for two fists, in three rounds" 1.3242 0.03673 256 189 51 16
694 I will now go a couple of rounds with Shostakovich 1.3241 0.03376 290 212 62 16
695 Any other requests? 1.3240 0.03642 287 217 47 23
696 And now, 'How I Feel About The Little Drummer Boy.' 1.3239 0.03387 318 238 57 23
697 I'm prepared to defend tonight's choice of music. 1.3239 0.03328 318 236 61 21
698 I shall toy with him throughout the adagio, then knock him out in the sonata. 1.3239 0.03112 318 229 75 14
699 I will finish with my own composition, “Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.3238 0.03627 281 211 49 21
700 And now I’d like to belt out a little tune. 1.3238 0.03592 281 210 51 20
701 If Trump can claim he always tells the truth, I can claim the following is a symphony. 1.3236 0.03610 275 205 51 19
702 You might have heard Chopsticks before, but I’m about to punch it up a little 1.3235 0.03600 272 202 52 18
703 For the sake of all of us, let us hope I wake up from this nightmare any time now. 1.3233 0.03429 331 252 51 28
704 I thought you said play "box"' not play "Bach's"! 1.3232 0.03839 263 200 41 22
705 When I play fortissimo, I don't fuck around. 1.3232 0.03478 328 251 48 29
706 I'll just knock out a few tunes for you. 1.3231 0.03446 294 218 57 19
707 I'm now going to play 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' " 1.3230 0.03504 291 217 54 20
708 So much for modern stuff. Now for Chopin, and the gloves come off. 1.3229 0.03564 288 216 51 21
709 And now a lullabye 1.3229 0.03564 288 216 51 21
710 I only play Fortissimo. 1.3229 0.03319 319 237 61 21
711 Playing piano helps with my anger management issues. 1.3227 0.03174 313 227 71 15
712 Yo, Adrian--this sonata's for you. 1.3226 0.03415 310 232 56 22
713 This is a concerto composed by my 2-year old. 1.3226 0.03291 310 228 64 18
714 Now, I shall bang out a tune. 1.3226 0.03385 310 231 58 21
715 I’m told I have a very aggressive playing style 1.3225 0.03079 307 219 77 11
716 And now for a punchy little tune... 1.3225 0.03562 276 205 53 18
717 It’s hammer time! 1.3225 0.03707 276 209 45 22
718 I'd like to play you some Rocky-maninoff 1.3225 0.03562 276 205 53 18
719 And now the theme music from 'ROCKY' the way it was meant to be heard. 1.3221 0.03413 298 221 58 19
720 And now, Sonata for Ali. 1.3221 0.03446 298 222 56 20
721 Here’s a punchy little number. 1.3221 0.03526 267 196 56 15
722 ...and for my next number, I would like to punch it up a bit. 1.3221 0.03486 267 195 58 14
723 It's time for the greatest hits. 1.3220 0.03436 295 219 57 19
724 I call this piece “Sonata for an Untuned Piano in A-flat minor through G major.” 1.3218 0.03485 289 215 55 19
725 And now my original composition, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B Minor.’ 1.3218 0.03450 289 214 57 18
726 Well, not usually, but these are my Bach-sing gloves. 1.3216 0.03500 283 210 55 18
727 Has anyone seen my mouth guard? 1.3214 0.03271 308 226 65 17
728 Would someone be a darling and light my candelabra? 1.3214 0.03429 308 231 55 22
729 They said my playing could use a little punch. 1.3214 0.03377 280 204 62 14
730 Excuse me while I pound out a few notes. 1.3213 0.03159 305 220 72 13
731 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly" in B Minor. 1.3213 0.03477 277 204 57 16
732 I lost a bet. 1.3213 0.03477 277 204 57 16
733 And now, I will play the 0ne-two waltz. 1.3210 0.03605 271 202 51 18
734 The next piece is dedicated to my former agent 1.3209 0.03393 296 219 59 18
735 And now, for the second round... 1.3206 0.03252 315 232 65 18
736 This is from my greatest hits album. 1.3206 0.03729 262 197 46 19
737 I've been fighting Beethoven all my life. 1.3206 0.03464 287 213 56 18
738 Next I will be performing Rimsky-Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumblebee" in the style of Muhammad Ali. 1.3206 0.03499 287 214 54 19
739 Here’s a little number I recently knocked out. 1.3201 0.03272 303 222 65 16
740 In a sudden moment of panic, Mitch realizes that the Rachmaninoff concerto was actually written for a southpaw. 1.3199 0.03611 297 227 45 25
741 You want pianissimo? I'll give you pianissimo! 1.3197 0.03507 294 221 52 21
742 I will now play an original piece by Frederic Chopin that he played in 1850 when he was 7 month old. 1.3197 0.03637 294 225 44 25
743 And now, my Muhammad Ali concerto in, well, every key at once. 1.3197 0.03440 294 219 56 19
744 ...and so in tribute to Michael Jackson, I will "just Beat It." 1.3197 0.03621 269 201 50 18
745 Heads up, folks -- this next number's going to be a knockout. 1.3196 0.03395 316 238 55 23
746 I’ve seen my fair share of piano bar fights. 1.3196 0.03360 291 214 61 16
747 Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm going to pound out a few numbers for you tonight. 1.3194 0.03383 288 212 60 16
748 Tonight I’ll be going a few rounds with Beethoven 1.3193 0.03220 285 205 69 11
749 Now, an atonal piece. 1.3193 0.03514 285 213 53 19
750 Now for my unique rendition of "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.3193 0.03514 285 213 53 19
751 ...And now a selection from my new boxed set. 1.3191 0.03504 282 210 54 18
752 This next piece is a punchy little number. 1.3191 0.03467 282 209 56 17
753 Did you say, "Bach's"? 1.3191 0.03679 282 215 44 23
754 Float like Madame Butterfly, sting like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.3191 0.03519 304 231 49 24
755 Another knockout performance. 1.3190 0.03455 279 206 57 16
756 I got tired of just tickling the ivories! 1.3190 0.03418 279 205 59 15
757 Look mom, no hands 1.3189 0.03317 301 222 62 17
758 My next number will knock you out. 1.3188 0.03365 276 201 62 13
759 Now, this next tune may ring a bell. 1.3187 0.03626 251 185 52 14
760 "This next piece will be played in rounds." 1.3185 0.03453 270 198 58 14
761 Next is a punchy little tune I wrote myself... 1.3185 0.03315 292 214 63 15
762 Mendelssohn, Mozart, or Marciano? 1.3185 0.03522 292 220 51 21
763 Welcome to an evening of mixed martial arts and music. 1.3185 0.03385 292 216 59 17
764 Here's something I pounded out just this morning. 1.3185 0.03279 292 213 65 14
765 This piece comes from the West Wing of the White House. 1.3185 0.03438 314 238 52 24
766 My next selection will be "Fight of the Bumblebee". 1.3183 0.03513 289 217 52 20
767 My next composition is a punchy little number. 1.3183 0.03338 289 212 62 15
768 This next one is going to be a round. 1.3183 0.03479 289 216 54 19
769 Forte like a butterfly, staccato like a bee. 1.3183 0.03370 311 233 57 21
770 As a Jazz Pacifist, I believe it's more about the notes I don't strike 1.3183 0.03370 311 233 57 21
771 It was a restraining order from my piano teacher! 1.3182 0.03773 286 222 37 27
772 The next one is going to be a hit. 1.3180 0.03415 305 229 55 21
773 Sorry, I only do fight songs. 1.3180 0.03347 283 207 62 14
774 I'll be playing Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.3180 0.03457 283 210 56 17
775 Now, i am going to play my greatest hits. 1.3180 0.03457 283 210 56 17
776 My next piece is entitled "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3179 0.03439 302 227 54 21
777 And now a little-known piece by John Cage. 1.3179 0.03730 280 215 41 24
778 Apologies for the rocky start... 1.3177 0.03581 277 208 50 19
779 The music was lovely, but the pianist was a bit heavy-handed. 1.3176 0.03487 296 223 52 21
780 I’m going to pound out a tune for you. 1.3174 0.03410 293 218 57 18
781 And for my next selection. "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3174 0.03444 293 219 55 19
782 This next number is a round. 1.3173 0.03391 312 235 55 22
783 Could someone please straighten my tie? 1.3172 0.03434 290 216 56 18
784 Tonight’s bout will be a twelve rondo. 1.3172 0.03386 268 195 61 12
785 My next piece is dedicated to that miserable, heartless, brainless critic in the fifth row center, who had the Gaul to say I played with a heavy hand. 1.3172 0.03383 309 232 56 21
786 This next one, I'll play by ear. 1.3170 0.03310 306 227 61 18
787 The Pugilist's Waltz 1.3170 0.03534 265 196 54 15
788 For my next selection, I have prepared an interpretive rendition of the Theme from Rocky. 1.3169 0.03553 284 214 50 20
789 On tonight’s program, “Float like Les Papillons, sting like Debussy.” 1.3167 0.03650 281 214 45 22
790 My next number will be the "old one two." 1.3167 0.03322 281 205 63 13
791 You're in for a knockout performance tonight. 1.3167 0.03253 300 220 65 15
792 Who's ready to hear my hit song? 1.3165 0.03570 278 209 50 19
793 Any fight song requests? 1.3165 0.03383 278 204 60 14
794 What tune would you like me to knock out next? 1.3165 0.03345 278 203 62 13
795 Here's a mashup I call "Eine kleine Nacht-out-musik." 1.3165 0.03421 278 205 58 15
796 My next number is "Chopfists". 1.3165 0.03377 297 221 58 18
797 NOW,CLAIR DI LUNE AS YOUVE NEVER HEARD IT PLAYED BEFORE. 1.3165 0.03573 297 227 46 24
798 Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3165 0.03410 297 222 56 19
799 For the encore, I take the gloves off. 1.3165 0.03132 297 214 72 11
800 On the other hand, 15 note chords are easy! 1.3164 0.03407 275 202 59 14
801 And now, for my next cacophony... 1.3164 0.03328 275 200 63 12
802 Gerald was finding his two jobs were beginning to interfere with each other. 1.3163 0.03501 294 222 51 21
803 This next piece was written by Victor Borge. 1.3163 0.03331 294 217 61 16
804 If you all don’t stop heckling me the gloves are coming off 1.3162 0.03772 253 191 44 18
805 This next piece is by my two-year-old toddler. 1.3160 0.03483 288 216 53 19
806 And now for my final round... 1.3158 0.03441 266 195 58 13
807 I will now play something by Rocky Maninoff. 1.3158 0.03508 285 214 52 19
808 The full boxed set will be available after the performance. 1.3158 0.03219 323 240 64 19
809 Okay Jim, you got this. Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3158 0.03290 304 225 62 17
810 Not often performed,this is young Mozart’s very,very, first piece. 1.3158 0.03419 304 229 54 21
811 First movement, round three. 1.3156 0.03350 282 207 61 14
812 A knockout performance! 1.3156 0.03461 282 210 55 17
813 I pity the fugue! 1.3156 0.03590 263 196 51 16
814 Welcome to the Van Cliburn/Mike Tyson piano competition. 1.3154 0.03559 279 210 50 19
815 And this one's for Mother, who made me practice... 1.3154 0.03631 279 212 46 21
816 I know it looks odd, but it got me into Harvard. 1.3153 0.03549 314 243 43 28
817 I call it my Concerto in 10 Rounds. 1.3153 0.03458 295 222 53 20
818 This one'll be a knock out. 1.3152 0.03358 276 202 61 13
819 And now let me punch out a tune. 1.3152 0.03549 276 207 51 18
820 This is a punchy little tune... 1.3152 0.03397 276 203 59 14
821 I will now perform Mozart's first sonata, which he composed at the age of 16 months. 1.3152 0.03658 276 210 45 21
822 it’s really more about my creative approach and not the actual notes 1.3151 0.03273 292 214 64 14
823 My next piece is a bout . . . 1.3151 0.03414 292 218 56 18
824 This Will Be A Knockout Performance 1.3151 0.03200 292 212 68 12
825 Tonight, I thought we'd start off with a little Philip Glass 1.3151 0.03482 292 220 52 20
826 I will now play selections from my boxed set. 1.3150 0.03686 273 208 44 21
827 I'm going to pound one out, now. 1.3150 0.03575 273 205 50 18
828 This next exuberant piece dates to Mozart's toddler years. 1.3149 0.03437 289 216 55 18
829 And now, a literal rendition of Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Boxer." 1.3148 0.03640 270 204 47 19
830 And now, my rendition of Mike Tyson's 'From Ear to Eternity'. 1.3148 0.03564 270 202 51 17
831 Would the person who requested Proud Mary please come forward? 1.3147 0.03462 286 214 54 18
832 And now, the Sonata in Me Minor, by D. J. Trump. 1.3147 0.03702 286 221 40 25
833 Playing isn't the problem, who's going to help me if I need to use the bathroom? 1.3146 0.03559 302 232 45 25
834 Here's a little tune I recently knocked out. 1.3145 0.03414 283 210 57 16
835 I will now play "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3145 0.03450 283 211 55 17
836 For my next number, I’ll be pummeling the ivories... 1.3145 0.03414 283 210 57 16
837 Alright, the next time someone throws a tomato, the gloves are coming off. 1.3144 0.03497 264 195 55 14
838 And now, the Trump Suite of Dementias, in F Major. 1.3144 0.03456 299 226 52 21
839 This next piece is rather punchy, but softly incorporates many, many notes close to one another. 1.3143 0.03512 280 210 52 18
840 I float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee 1.3143 0.03401 280 207 58 15
841 Trump asked me to do the musical score for the "Chuck & Nancy" meeting. 1.3143 0.03584 280 212 48 20
842 I took a piano to the zoo to see if elephants could compose as well as paint. This is what they wrote. 1.3143 0.03475 280 209 54 17
843 If I hear a cell-phone ring, watch out! 1.3142 0.03523 261 193 54 14
844 This next song is a round. 1.3140 0.03369 293 218 58 17
845 Welcome to Mixed Musical Arts. 1.3140 0.03507 258 190 55 13
846 No, but I can hum a few bars. 1.3139 0.03439 309 235 51 23
847 This is going to suck. 1.3139 0.03711 274 210 42 22
848 I’m just going to pound this one out. 1.3138 0.03530 290 220 49 21
849 All a song needs is a good hook. 1.3138 0.03564 290 221 47 22
850 Next up is the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight" in the keys of A, C, and F 1.3137 0.03336 306 229 58 19
851 I'll just punch out a little number 1.3137 0.03395 271 199 59 13
852 And now, a sonata in twelve rounds. 1.3136 0.03416 287 214 56 17
853 I am now going to play for you a medley of works by Rockymaninoff. 1.3135 0.03735 252 190 45 17
854 And now, for my last number I will play the title song on my new album Trump Year 2. 1.3134 0.03657 268 203 46 19
855 And for my last number this evening, I'll be performing, "Rhapsody in Black And Blue." 1.3134 0.03476 284 213 53 18
856 I will now play The Minute Waltz in ten seconds. 1.3133 0.03479 300 228 50 22
857 Chopin, Nocturne No. 2 in every key. 1.3133 0.03384 316 240 53 23
858 And now, with your kind indulgence, I'll change the mood a bit. 1.3133 0.03590 249 184 52 13
859 Yet another dream where I don't have my underwear on. 1.3132 0.03537 281 212 50 19
860 It says forte. 1.3131 0.03371 297 222 57 18
861 This is a piece I just knocked off. 1.3131 0.03089 297 214 73 10
862 Now a little music for Boxing Day. 1.3130 0.03553 262 195 52 15
863 And now for a little fight music. 1.3129 0.03428 294 221 54 19
864 Now I shall play, 'The Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3129 0.03399 310 235 53 22
865 Just hitting a few notes 1.3127 0.03295 307 229 60 18
866 Any more requests? I could pound out tunes all night. 1.3125 0.03217 304 224 65 15
867 And it goes a little bit like this... 1.3125 0.03424 272 201 57 14
868 Float like ‘Madame Butterfly,’ sting like ‘Flight of the Bumblebee.’ 1.3125 0.03476 288 217 52 19
869 Any requests, Mister President? 1.3125 0.03728 272 209 41 22
870 Mesdames et Messieurs, la sonate pour Donald Trump. 1.3125 0.03511 288 218 50 20
871 Piano no problem. Tying bow tie is a totally different challenge. 1.3123 0.03404 301 227 54 20
872 And for my next selection....Cacaphony in G-major. 1.3123 0.03501 285 215 51 19
873 This next piece is from Beethoven's welterweight period. 1.3121 0.03343 282 208 60 14
874 Okay. let's knock out a few tunes on the piano. Any request? 1.3120 0.03475 266 197 55 14
875 And now, Paul Simon's "The Boxer" 1.3119 0.03384 295 221 56 18
876 My parole officer wasn’t clear on the type of community services I’d be performing tonight. 1.3118 0.03442 279 208 55 16
877 And in this corner, playing in at 185 lbs., ... 1.3118 0.03479 279 209 53 17
878 That was in the key of C minor, give or take... 1.3116 0.03302 292 216 61 15
879 And now for a touch of Wagner. 1.3114 0.03568 273 206 49 18
880 I will now play 12 rounds of Chopin. 1.3113 0.03057 318 232 73 13
881 As for the reviewer who suggested my repertoire lacked punch.… 1.3113 0.03329 302 226 58 18
882 Trying to knock out a few tunes 1.3113 0.03159 302 221 68 13
883 Here's my rendition of Beethoven's Fifth – Round. 1.3112 0.03273 286 210 63 13
884 For this number, I float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat major. 1.3111 0.03478 270 201 54 15
885 And now for something a little more punchy. 1.3111 0.03140 315 232 68 15
886 Any last requests? 1.3110 0.03480 283 213 52 18
887 Any requests before I start pounding on the keys? 1.3110 0.03444 283 212 54 17
888 Now I will pummel the ivories. 1.3109 0.03159 312 230 67 15
889 Anyone else want to face the music? 1.3109 0.03583 267 201 49 17
890 After 30 years of tickling the ivories, I’ve decided to try something new. 1.3106 0.03571 264 198 50 16
891 I had to fight for this gig. 1.3106 0.03328 293 218 59 16
892 And now, a fugue by T.K.O. Bach. 1.3106 0.03499 293 223 49 21
893 My Dad wanted me to box, and Mom wanted me to play the piano. 1.3106 0.03363 293 219 57 17
894 Who coughed? 1.3106 0.03598 293 226 43 24
895 Ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform a medley of my greatest hits. 1.3106 0.03186 322 240 64 18
896 Here's a new tune that will knock you out. 1.3105 0.03456 277 207 54 16
897 Yes, the whole piece is to be played Fortissimo. 1.3103 0.03591 290 223 44 23
898 The score says attacca con forza. 1.3103 0.03455 290 219 52 19
899 This sonata is called, “Yo, Adrian.” 1.3103 0.03679 261 198 45 18
900 Concerto in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G 1.3102 0.03403 274 203 57 14
901 I play by ear. 1.3102 0.03442 274 204 55 15
902 Welcome to our First Annual Boxing Day Concert! 1.3101 0.03542 258 192 52 14
903 Thank you. That was Rockymaninoff's Piano Concerto in Round No. 2. 1.3100 0.03545 271 204 50 17
904 Let’s get ready to rrrrubato! 1.3100 0.03584 271 205 48 18
905 Before I start playing the theme from "Rocky", can somebody come up here and zip up my pants? 1.3099 0.03644 284 219 42 23
906 John Cage's 4'33, as played by Rocky Balboa. 1.3099 0.03575 284 217 46 21
907 They made me give up the harp. 1.3099 0.03397 284 212 56 16
908 Pianissimo like a butterfly, fortissimo like a bee. 1.3099 0.03469 284 214 52 18
909 I'd like to begin with a little warm up exercise. 1.3098 0.03612 255 191 49 15
910 And now for something modern. 1.3098 0.03497 297 227 48 22
911 They’re rather tired of being tickled. 1.3096 0.03383 281 209 57 15
912 I will now play a piece from my boxed set. 1.3096 0.03494 281 212 51 18
913 I will now play a round by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.3095 0.03387 294 221 55 18
914 For an encore I will play Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata. 1.3095 0.03283 294 218 61 15
915 Tonight we present dueling pianos... 1.3095 0.03522 294 225 47 22
916 I shall now perform Beethoven's 10th Round Piano Concerto. 1.3095 0.03522 294 225 47 22
917 Does anyone else have any criticism? 1.3094 0.03445 278 208 54 16
918 This piece is dedicated to those that did not like my previous one 1.3093 0.03513 291 222 48 21
919 The second movement begins with delightful arpeggios and ends with an uppercut. 1.3093 0.03376 291 218 56 17
920 Who clapped? 1.3092 0.03504 262 195 53 14
921 And now, I shall perform my impressions of what some of you call "jazz". 1.3091 0.03393 275 204 57 14
922 And now I shall play for your listening pleasure a few pieces from my latest recording, ‘Atonal Bludgeoning Cacophony.’ 1.3090 0.03539 288 220 47 21
923 This is ridiculous. How do you possibly expect me to play the piano without my mouthpiece? 1.3090 0.03327 288 214 59 15
924 This next piece was composed by my cat, Barnabas. 1.3089 0.03816 259 200 38 21
925 He was told tickling the ivory is no longer workplace appropriate. 1.3088 0.03337 272 200 60 12
926 I said I’d play for a Grand, baby! Not play a baby-grand! 1.3086 0.03281 337 258 54 25
927 . . and I've taken the liberty of consolidating all individual notes so as to not offend the listener who might be sensitive to borrowed folk melodies of identifiable ethnicity. 1.3086 0.03442 269 200 55 14
928 Who said I play with a heavy hand​? 1.3085 0.03343 295 221 57 17
929 So I promised the composer not to pull any punches. 1.3085 0.03377 295 222 55 18
930 and now, Beethoven's Fist Symphony in C Minor... 1.3083 0.03627 266 202 46 18
931 This next number is a knock out. 1.3083 0.03666 266 203 44 19
932 This piano is going down by the second movement. 1.3083 0.03467 266 198 54 14
933 A piece titled, "The Next Election 1.3082 0.03469 292 222 50 20
934 I'm gonna add a little punch to this one 1.3080 0.03655 263 200 45 18
935 I'd like to pound out a few tunes. 1.3080 0.03281 289 214 61 14
936 This next one's an opus in ten rounds. 1.3079 0.03222 302 224 63 15
937 Tell the conductor I'm ready to punch it up a little. 1.3079 0.03356 302 228 55 19
938 And for my next piece, I'll add a blindfold as well! 1.3077 0.03243 299 222 62 15
939 I like to call this one, ,'You're Gonna B-flat-tened.' 1.3077 0.03484 286 217 50 19
940 Makes "hitting" those notes much easier. 1.3077 0.03243 299 222 62 15
941 My next song is The Boxer, by Simon and Garfunkle. 1.3077 0.03345 299 225 56 18
942 Didn’t you ask me to bang out a tune” 1.3077 0.03523 273 206 50 17
943 Next, "Dance of the Butterflies," by Muhammad Ali. 1.3077 0.03303 286 212 60 14
944 Please be quiet, or I’ll take the gloves off 1.3074 0.03270 309 232 59 18
945 And now, Balboa's variations on "Eine Kleine Knock-musik" 1.3074 0.03299 296 221 59 16
946 As soon as my opponent arrives, we can begin. 1.3074 0.03137 270 194 69 7
947 Let's knock out some tunes! 1.3072 0.03261 319 241 58 20
948 For my next attempt I will fight my way through Rachmaninoff's 3rd. 1.3072 0.03388 306 233 52 21
949 This next one's a knockout. 1.3071 0.03386 280 209 56 15
950 To start with, I'll just knock out a little sonata. 1.3071 0.03386 280 209 56 15
951 And now , I coulda been somebody concerto in A minor. 1.3071 0.03496 267 200 52 15
952 The melody could use a little more punch. 1.3071 0.03415 267 198 56 13
953 And for my second piece I will also be wearing handcuffs. 1.3071 0.03456 267 199 54 14
954 My next piece is by Johann Sebastian Boxer. 1.3070 0.03279 329 251 55 23
955 The gloves come off for the Rachmaninoff! 1.3069 0.03506 303 234 45 24
956 LIMERICK: There was a pianist named Billy...A heavy weight singer from Philly...His tunes packed a punch...And he delivered a bunch...But personally, I found them silly. 1.3069 0.03308 290 216 59 15
957 I’m told this next piece is a knockout. 1.3069 0.03483 290 221 49 20
958 Next comes a number that only a two-year-old will appreciate. 1.3069 0.03379 290 218 55 17
959 I will now perform Mike Tyson's concerto in B flat. 1.3069 0.03551 290 223 45 22
960 Next - Michael Jackson's "Beat It" 1.3069 0.03372 277 206 57 14
961 I now present a new piece entitled "Modern Diplomacy." 1.3067 0.03434 300 229 50 21
962 That's the last time I schedule a concert on Boxing Day. 1.3067 0.03369 300 227 54 19
963 And now, by Rimsky-Korsakov, The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.3066 0.03402 287 216 54 17
964 This is a heavyweight sonata 1.3066 0.03142 287 209 68 10
965 Next, I shall perform George Foreman's Symphony in A Minor 1.3066 0.03508 287 219 48 20
966 This next piece is another punchy little number. 1.3066 0.03402 287 216 54 17
967 Tickling the ivories is not enough for me. 1.3066 0.03316 274 202 60 12
968 I'll knock out a quick tune. 1.3066 0.03435 274 205 54 15
969 They call him the Manassa Mahler 1.3065 0.03418 310 238 49 23
970 Hey, don't laugh. It's a lot easier than Chief of Staff. 1.3063 0.03498 284 216 49 19
971 Go ahead,ask me if I'll play Misty for you. 1.3063 0.03538 271 205 49 17
972 This next one is by Rockymaninoff 1.3062 0.03534 258 193 51 14
973 My next piece is George Foreman's concerto for pianos with really fat keys. 1.3060 0.03523 281 214 48 19
974 My playing style is known to be rather aggressive. 1.3060 0.03242 317 239 59 19
975 _Pass the tip jar and the gloves come off. 1.3060 0.03525 268 202 50 16
976 And now, selections from "The Ring Cycle." 1.3058 0.03400 278 208 55 15
977 I forgot the punch line! 1.3058 0.03657 278 215 41 22
978 For my next selection I will play "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.3058 0.03586 278 213 45 20
979 To close, a traditional Boxing Day tune. 1.3055 0.03424 275 206 54 15
980 Next, a tune I composed in tribute to Muhammed Ali, Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3055 0.03538 275 209 48 18
981 Here's a song that packs a punch. 1.3055 0.03346 275 204 58 13
982 And now, a little something from Punchini. 1.3055 0.03576 275 210 46 19
983 Don't prejudge." 1.3054 0.03280 298 223 59 16
984 How do you expect me to play without sheet music? 1.3053 0.03191 285 209 65 11
985 And now a tune by Henry “Boom Boom” Mancini. 1.3051 0.03527 272 206 49 17
986 Next I'll perform Rockymaninoff's arrangement of Bach's concerto 1.3051 0.03527 272 206 49 17
987 I went to a tough music school. The keys were black and blue. But seriously, take my arranger. Please! 1.3050 0.03648 259 197 45 17
988 The next number is a real hit song. 1.3050 0.03584 282 217 44 21
989 I'm waiting for the opening bell. 1.3050 0.03403 282 212 54 16
990 ARE ... YOU ... READY...TO ........GLISSANDO!!!!! 1.3050 0.03477 282 214 50 18
991 Ladies and gentlemen, I plan to do more than just "tickle the ivories." 1.3048 0.03310 269 198 60 11
992 My next number will be The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.3048 0.03463 292 223 49 20
993 And now a punchy tune 1.3048 0.03359 292 220 55 17
994 Ladies and gentlemen, let me knock out a little number for you. 1.3048 0.03191 315 236 62 17
995 And now the hard way. 1.3047 0.03610 279 215 43 21
996 The record shows I took the blows And did it my way 1.3047 0.03502 279 212 49 18
997 Don't worry, I can Handel myself 1.3047 0.03389 279 209 55 15
998 I thought I’d punch up this last number just a bit. 1.3045 0.03459 266 199 53 14
999 This next piece will be very hit and miss 1.3045 0.03080 312 230 69 13
1000 It's called Bach-sing. 1.3045 0.03368 312 239 51 22
1001 I was told to take a dive in the third cadenza. 1.3043 0.03255 276 203 62 11
1002 Any more requests ,except "go to hell"? 1.3043 0.03324 322 247 52 23
1003 And now a song that floats like Madame Butterfly and stings like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.3043 0.03305 299 225 57 17
1004 What? I got tired of tickling them. 1.3043 0.03130 299 220 67 12
1005 I will next do battle with Rachmaninoff's No. 3 1.3042 0.03369 286 215 55 16
1006 And now for a little not music. 1.3039 0.03318 283 211 58 14
1007 My next piece is Chopin's Noc-out-turne opus 9 1.3038 0.03183 316 237 62 17
1008 Please have patience as I fight my way through the always difficult Rachmaninoff 3rd piano concerto. 1.3038 0.03337 316 242 52 22
1009 Sir, I submit that you would not know a fugue if it hit you in the face. 1.3038 0.03349 293 221 55 17
1010 What? You've never seen Bach-sing gloves? 1.3038 0.03618 293 229 39 25
1011 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, I don't plan to tickle the ivories as much as smash 'em to bits. 1.3037 0.03502 270 204 50 16
1012 And now a contemporary rendition of Schoenberg's transcription of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.3036 0.03405 303 232 50 21
1013 You said pugilisimo, right? 1.3036 0.03491 280 213 49 18
1014 Are you sure about this, Mr. Cage? 1.3036 0.03563 280 215 45 20
1015 I shall now play my interpretation of Beethoven’s Hammerklavier sonata. 1.3036 0.03704 280 219 37 24
1016 And now a little something from the Ring Cycle. 1.3035 0.03266 313 237 57 19
1017 Let's see you bring your booing up here. 1.3034 0.03477 290 222 48 20
1018 This next piece I composed for Boxing Day. 1.3032 0.03479 277 210 50 17
1019 This next piece is called 'Ode to Percussion' 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
1020 Float like a butterfly Sting like a B major 1.3032 0.03479 277 210 50 17
1021 This piece will knock you out. 1.3031 0.03211 287 212 63 12
1022 They laughed when I sat down at the piano. 1.3030 0.03451 297 228 48 21
1023 You want me to come in one measure after the bell, right? 1.3029 0.03243 307 231 59 17
1024 I gift from my piano teacher just moment ago. 1.3029 0.03466 307 238 45 24
1025 And now...."Flight of the Butterfly/Sting like a B flat." 1.3029 0.03504 274 208 49 17
1026 And now Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata...molto pugilissimo! 1.3029 0.03466 274 207 51 16
1027 This is a lessor known but musically athletic Bach piece, the poundo and feud in three rounds. 1.3029 0.03504 274 208 49 17
1028 Next I'm going to knock out a few favorites... 1.3028 0.03346 284 213 56 15
1029 I thought you said Box Prelude and Fugue. 1.3028 0.03562 284 219 44 21
1030 I coulda been a concerto. 1.3027 0.03408 294 224 51 19
1031 This next one goes out to ADRIAAAAAAN! 1.3024 0.03432 291 222 50 19
1032 We take "dueling pianos" very seriously. 1.3023 0.03286 301 227 57 17
1033 Tickling got me nowhere. 1.3023 0.03418 301 231 49 21
1034 And now, I will sock it to you. 1.3023 0.03305 258 189 60 9
1035 I predict it will end in the sixth measure." 1.3022 0.03354 278 208 56 14
1036 My next piece is by Rocky Marcianinoff 1.3022 0.03505 278 212 48 18
1037 And now, for your enjoyment....The Ring Cycle. 1.3022 0.03542 278 213 46 19
1038 This next number will be a real knockout. 1.3022 0.03315 278 207 58 13
1039 That coulda been a concerto. 1.3021 0.03559 288 223 43 22
1040 And finally, the punchline. 1.3021 0.03421 288 219 51 18
1041 That was the fury, now comes the sound. 1.3019 0.03503 265 200 50 15
1042 My teacher said it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3018 0.03531 275 210 47 18
1043 They told me to come up with a punchy number. 1.3018 0.03455 275 208 51 16
1044 This is a little something my three-year-old wrote... 1.3015 0.03403 262 195 55 12
1045 Rondo Two! 1.3015 0.03445 262 196 53 13
1046 I guess I can try to knock out some tunes! 1.3014 0.03358 282 212 55 15
1047 This next piece will be performed in 12 rounds. 1.3013 0.03174 302 225 63 14
1048 What do you mean there's no punchline? 1.3011 0.03584 269 206 45 18
1049 I dare you to cough one more time! 1.3010 0.03446 289 221 49 19
1050 Now I’d like to pummel my own interpretation of ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’.” 1.3008 0.03626 256 195 45 16
1051 I'm sure you'll all recognise my next song, it has a ring to it. 1.3008 0.03572 266 203 46 17
1052 I present my new composition "Trumps attempts to hit the right chords" 1.3007 0.03630 276 214 41 21
1053 I thought the conductor said he wanted a little more punch? 1.3007 0.03328 276 206 57 13
1054 The first number I'll be playing this evening is going to sound like hell. 1.3007 0.03505 286 220 46 20
1055 Once more, with feeling 1.3004 0.03568 253 191 48 14
1056 For my final piece I'd like to play Schubert's Four Impromptus D899 but I can't. So instead I'll just beat the crap out of this thing. 1.3004 0.03639 263 202 43 18
1057 And, for the final match, it’s me against Steinway. 1.3004 0.03391 273 205 54 14
1058 Next, the World Premiere of "Get Your Ass Out of Bed!" composed this afternoon by my very own wife. 1.3004 0.03546 273 209 46 18
1059 And now for a piece that sounds like something a toddler could play. 1.3004 0.03348 283 213 55 15
1060 Potential hecklers should take note... 1.3004 0.03234 283 210 61 12
1061 Prepare to be knocked out! 1.3003 0.03130 303 225 65 13
1062 This next piece was composed by a 2 yr. old with no formal training. 1.3000 0.03534 270 206 47 17
1063 The next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife who said I wasn't masculine enough. 1.3000 0.03447 280 213 50 17
1064 I really don't think it's been properly tuned 1.3000 0.03216 280 207 62 11
1065 I will begin with Rhapsody in Ear Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.3000 0.03470 290 223 47 20
1066 They said my performance was a knockout! 1.3000 0.03216 280 207 62 11
1067 And now, my rendition of the theme song from "Rocky". 1.3000 0.03668 260 200 42 18
1068 I Am The Greatest! 1.3000 0.03295 280 209 58 13
1069 After all, the piano is a percussion instrument. 1.2997 0.03388 287 218 52 17
1070 Tickling the ivories! I think not. 1.2996 0.03440 267 201 52 14
1071 This next piece will knock you out! 1.2996 0.03399 267 200 54 13
1072 Too punchy? 1.2993 0.03258 304 230 57 17
1073 Tonight, I'll be going fifteeen rounds with the Schoenberg. 1.2993 0.03324 304 232 53 19
1074 Any requests for "Fight of the Bumblebee?" 1.2993 0.03116 294 217 66 11
1075 YOU FORGOT THE BLINDFOLD. 1.2993 0.03825 274 218 30 26
1076 And now a selection from Madame Float-like-a-Butterfly. 1.2990 0.03303 311 238 53 20
1077 I had to fight my way to the top. 1.2990 0.03346 301 230 52 19
1078 And now, Eine Kleine Nacht Out Musi 1.2989 0.03599 271 209 43 19
1079 And now I will play, "The Fight of the Bumblebee " 1.2989 0.03444 271 205 51 15
1080 I would ask that you suspend disbelief 1.2989 0.03364 271 203 55 13
1081 Next, I'll play you a punchy little tune. 1.2989 0.03323 271 202 57 12
1082 And now a new take on a classic: "Beating You Senseless With My Song." 1.2989 0.03533 261 198 48 15
1083 For my next selection, I will play the 'Theme from Rocky'. 1.2988 0.03757 251 194 39 18
1084 Gimme a mandatory eight count. 1.2987 0.03196 298 223 61 14
1085 Some people said my hands were too small to play piano. Not true. I'm a very good player. Nobody better than me at piano... 1.2987 0.03335 298 227 53 18
1086 This is Stravinsky - Symphony in three rounds. 1.2987 0.03231 298 224 59 15
1087 The following selection will be played in B-flatten. 1.2986 0.03378 288 219 52 17
1088 'We're now going to take the gloves off.' 1.2986 0.03307 278 208 57 13
1089 How better to pound the ivories? 1.2984 0.03560 258 196 47 15
1090 And now for my next piece, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.’ 1.2984 0.03725 258 200 39 19
1091 I call this one, 'Fight of the Bumblebees'. 1.2984 0.03314 305 233 53 19
1092 A Paul Simon song, sir ? Any one in particular ? 1.2983 0.03459 295 228 46 21
1093 For my next number I would like to play a new composition I call "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2982 0.03291 285 214 57 14
1094 I think you will all recognize the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.2982 0.03290 275 205 58 12
1095 I think you'll all recognize this Paul Simon tune. 1.2982 0.03524 275 211 46 18
1096 And now a little number by Schoenberg—please feel free to hum along. 1.2980 0.03466 302 235 44 23
1097 If the bartender is listening, I'm ready for another round. 1.2980 0.03236 302 228 58 16
1098 Wait, downbeat? I thought you said beat-down. 1.2979 0.03380 292 223 51 18
1099 'I'll knock out a few melodies." 1.2979 0.03275 282 211 58 13
1100 For my next selection, I'm going to play 'Chopsticks' again. Anybody got a problem with that? 1.2978 0.03511 272 208 47 17
1101 And now, the lovely Sonata in G-flat, composed by Michael Tyson 1.2977 0.03479 262 198 50 14
1102 It’s not as delicate a piece as one might think. 1.2977 0.03291 299 227 55 17
1103 Now here's one from a real heavyweight. 1.2977 0.03257 299 226 57 16
1104 For tonight's encore, I am pleased to present to you 'Fight of the Bumblebee' 1.2975 0.03336 279 210 55 14
1105 This next piece packs quite a punch 1.2975 0.03374 279 211 53 15
1106 Let’s get ready to RE-CI-TAAAAL! 1.2974 0.03576 269 207 44 18
1107 I will now pound out my favorite Soussa march. 1.2973 0.03172 296 221 62 13
1108 OSHA regulations. 1.2972 0.03391 286 218 51 17
1109 Get ready for my latest hit... 1.2972 0.03355 286 217 53 16
1110 A method pianist prepares to play the score of Rocky. 1.2971 0.03320 276 207 56 13
1111 And it sounds a little something like this.... 1.2971 0.03359 276 208 54 14
1112 Heavy handed—me? 1.2969 0.03235 320 245 55 20
1113 And now, "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2968 0.03378 283 215 52 16
1114 I will now play something from my boxed set. 1.2967 0.03461 273 208 49 16
1115 Well, this is going to be rocky. 1.2967 0.03415 300 232 47 21
1116 This number will be a knockout! 1.2966 0.03186 327 250 57 20
1117 All I’m asking is that you give me a fighting chance. 1.2966 0.03249 290 218 58 14
1118 Tonight I will be playing selections from Wagner’s Ring Cycle 1.2966 0.03393 290 222 50 18
1119 And now, a rarely heard Boxing Day carol. 1.2964 0.03439 280 214 49 17
1120 Float like a melody, sting like a B-flat. 1.2964 0.03044 280 204 69 7
1121 Yo, Hayydnnn! 1.2962 0.03381 287 219 51 17
1122 Paganini's Pugilisto In D Minor 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
1123 And now, Rachmaninov in three rounds. 1.2961 0.03149 304 228 62 14
1124 If Billy Joel claims to be the piano man one more time, I swear I'm going to deck him. 1.2960 0.03539 277 214 44 19
1125 Then what precisely DO you mean by "Punch it up a little"? 1.2960 0.03426 277 211 50 16
1126 Tonight the ivories have begged not to be tickled. 1.2959 0.03325 294 224 53 17
1127 I have A Minor problem 1.2959 0.03290 294 223 55 16
1128 Uhhh...I kinda lost a bet. 1.2959 0.03325 294 224 53 17
1129 Let's get ready to Handel 1.2956 0.03411 274 208 51 15
1130 I call this one Rach'em-Sock'em-Maninoff. 1.2955 0.03276 291 220 56 15
1131 This Flight of the Bumblebee is in honor of Muhammad Ali. 1.2955 0.03418 291 224 48 19
1132 And now, Shostakovich’s Piano Concerto No.2, as if played by your two year old niece. 1.2955 0.03539 264 202 46 16
1133 I'm making Mozart great again. 1.2954 0.03574 281 219 41 21
1134 Tonight I'll begin with the Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.2954 0.03354 281 213 53 15
1135 And my next song is sure to be a hit! 1.2951 0.03406 288 221 49 18
1136 Should anyone in the audience fail to appreciate this beautiful musical piece, I must advise you that there will be consequences. 1.2950 0.03377 278 211 52 15
1137 I call this next number "The Critic's Face". 1.2950 0.03490 278 214 46 18
1138 I apologize, the gloves proved much more difficult to take off than to put on. 1.2950 0.03259 278 208 58 12
1139 I think I'm on the wrong stage. 1.2949 0.03094 312 234 64 14
1140 And now for the Cantata Pugilisto 1.2947 0.03394 285 218 50 17
1141 And now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ as it was originally composed... 1.2947 0.03430 285 219 48 18
1142 For my next piece...the theme from Rocky 1.2945 0.03591 275 214 41 20
1143 And now, Rockymaninoff 's concerto #2 1.2945 0.03553 275 213 43 19
1144 This is a little tune I learned when I studied under Sonny Liston 1.2945 0.03157 292 218 62 12
1145 My next number will be in the key of E, G, and C. 1.2945 0.03476 292 227 44 21
1146 And a little bit softer now... 1.2943 0.03418 282 216 49 17
1147 Round three goes something like this. 1.2943 0.03343 282 214 53 15
1148 And now, something a little more lightweight. 1.2943 0.03109 282 208 65 9
1149 And now, an interpretation of Liszt based on my true feelings. 1.2943 0.03284 299 228 54 17
1150 Trust me, this next piece was a real knockout at my last recital 1.2941 0.03288 289 219 55 15
1151 And now one of Schönberg's more challenging pieces... 1.2941 0.03535 289 226 41 22
1152 It was at this moment he realized delivering a knockout performance did not require boxing gloves. 1.2941 0.03325 289 220 53 16
1153 How do you folks feel about tone clusters? 1.2939 0.03200 296 223 59 14
1154 This next piece is going to be a little punchier 1.2937 0.03151 303 228 61 14
1155 My insurance carrier insists I take special care to protect my hands since my career depends on it. 1.2937 0.03562 252 192 46 14
1156 And now, the Hammerklavier Sonata like it's never been hammered before. 1.2935 0.03257 293 222 56 15
1157 Folks, this won't be my usual performance. I'm not wearing any pants tonight. 1.2935 0.03505 276 213 45 18
1158 Just how fortissimo do you want it? 1.2935 0.03351 276 209 53 14
1159 I see you're as confused as I am. 1.2935 0.03390 276 210 51 15
1160 I just knocked this last piece out last night. 1.2933 0.03342 300 231 50 19
1161 This next piece is a technical knockout. 1.2933 0.03218 283 212 59 12
1162 And Now Tyson's Ninf Symphony 1.2933 0.03480 283 219 45 19
1163 Having defeated all challengers, I will now continue with the Chopin. 1.2933 0.03370 283 216 51 16
1164 Good evening folks....Thought I'd belt out a tune for you. 1.2932 0.02993 266 192 70 4
1165 Here's a little number I punched out this morning. 1.2932 0.03434 266 202 50 14
1166 And now for my box set..... 1.2932 0.03590 249 190 45 14
1167 And now, my interpretation of Wagner's "The Ring." 1.2932 0.03157 307 232 60 15
1168 Now for the main event, ... 1.2932 0.03123 307 231 62 14
1169 Here's a punchy tune I wrote to celebrate the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearings 1.2931 0.03456 290 225 45 20
1170 This rendition will really knock you out. 1.2931 0.03242 290 219 57 14
1171 Sit back and relax while I pummel the ivories. 1.2930 0.03414 273 208 50 15
1172 Ladies and Gentlemen, Rockymaninoff No. 3. 1.2930 0.03300 314 243 50 21
1173 I'm still working on the hook. 1.2929 0.03296 297 227 53 17
1174 Next I'll play a John Cage adaption of the theme from the movie "Rocky". 1.2928 0.03542 263 202 45 16
1175 I'm hoping to be saved by the bell. 1.2928 0.03107 304 228 63 13
1176 And now, here's one for you lovers of polytonality.... 1.2927 0.03374 287 220 50 17
1177 This one is by Rockymaninov. 1.2927 0.03301 287 218 54 15
1178 And now, a new piece by John Cage... 1.2926 0.03595 270 210 41 19
1179 Power chords are my forté! 1.2924 0.03197 301 228 58 15
1180 The first movement is to be played ‘molto aggressivo.’ 1.2923 0.03323 284 216 53 15
1181 This next piece I call, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bee-thoven." 1.2923 0.03433 284 219 47 18
1182 It is the best way to keep my hands insured. 1.2923 0.03285 284 215 55 14
1183 I will now play a version of "Flight of the Bumblebee" , that I have restyled as "Romp of the Hippopotamus" 1.2923 0.03397 284 218 49 17
1184 I'll just knock out a quick sonata before dinner. 1.2922 0.03247 308 236 54 18
1185 I have entitled this next piece: Dischord 1.2921 0.03269 291 221 55 15
1186 Is there someone who can read music and turn pages for me? 1.2921 0.03120 291 217 63 11
1187 Well, tickling the ivories wasn't working! 1.2921 0.03229 315 242 54 19
1188 I felt this tune needed some punch! 1.2920 0.03403 274 209 50 15
1189 And finally, I'd like to knock out a few." 1.2920 0.03403 274 209 50 15
1190 Now here's a little ditty from my boxed set. 1.2920 0.03324 274 207 54 13
1191 This next piece was composed by my toddler 1.2919 0.03355 298 230 49 19
1192 Tickling the ivories, has never been my forte. 1.2919 0.03146 298 224 61 13
1193 I will now play the Theme from Rocky...badly. 1.2919 0.03355 298 230 49 19
1194 I call this next one 'Beethoven's Fists.' 1.2919 0.03355 298 230 49 19
1195 Mind if I punch out a tune? 1.2919 0.03036 298 221 67 10
1196 What?? No, the contract definitely said glove songs... 1.2918 0.03566 281 220 40 21
1197 This is the best way I have found to knock out a tune. 1.2918 0.03150 281 209 62 10
1198 This evening instead of tickling the ivories I will be punching them. 1.2917 0.03254 288 218 56 14
1199 Next up, the Theme from Rocky. 1.2915 0.03388 271 206 51 14
1200 Now I will play the theme from the movie Rocky. 1.2915 0.03467 271 208 47 16
1201 Yo Adrian!!!! This one's for you. 1.2915 0.03507 271 209 45 17
1202 And for my final number, I present Concerto: The Thrilla in Manila, Round 4, in B flat 1.2914 0.03082 302 226 64 12
1203 At your request: Tyson's "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2914 0.03407 278 213 49 16
1204 This is the point in the program at which I respond to requests for "Feelings" or "Piano Man". 1.2913 0.03205 309 236 56 17
1205 For my encore I will play Opus 7 in A, B and C Major 1.2911 0.03343 316 247 46 23
1206 Raymond is undefeated in the spinet division but now faces a big challenge in a higher weight class. 1.2911 0.03295 292 223 53 16
1207 And now, Balboa's piano concerto in C, B, B flat, A, A flat and G" 1.2911 0.03536 292 230 39 23
1208 Wasn't the program Rockymaninoff? 1.2911 0.03366 292 225 49 18
1209 No, this is NOT to compensate for small hands. 1.2910 0.03453 268 205 48 15
1210 For my next piece, I will explore the roots of the piano as a percussion instrument. 1.2910 0.03371 268 203 52 13
1211 And now a special arrangement of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2908 0.03259 282 213 56 13
1212 For an encore, I've chosen to knock out a few bars of Beethoven's Ninth. 1.2907 0.03045 313 235 65 13
1213 Good Evening Folks, this is the first time I've played at a "Fight Club." 1.2907 0.03368 258 194 53 11
1214 A pugilistic concerto in B flat. Round one. 1.2907 0.03412 258 195 51 12
1215 Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m Down for the Count Basie! 1.2907 0.03412 258 195 51 12
1216 I will now play 'Temper Tantrum in C Minor'. 1.2907 0.03207 289 218 58 13
1217 It needed the right hook. 1.2907 0.03353 289 222 50 17
1218 Doesn’t”matter now if it’s tuned or not. 1.2906 0.03599 265 206 41 18
1219 And now... “Make America Great Again!” 1.2906 0.03559 265 205 43 17
1220 And now, Requiem for a Heavyweight for piano and gloves! 1.2906 0.03478 265 203 47 15
1221 I'll start on the count of three and stop on the count of ten. 1.2905 0.03157 296 223 60 13
1222 Let me knock out a number for you! 1.2903 0.03358 279 213 51 15
1223 The ivories aren't being tickled tonight. 1.2902 0.03340 286 219 51 16
1224 This next piece is called Holidays at the In-Laws." 1.2902 0.03569 255 196 44 15
1225 My next selection is Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" 1.2901 0.03285 293 224 53 16
1226 The insurance on my fingers was outrageous! 1.2901 0.03285 293 224 53 16
1227 We shall now experience the atonal grandeur of the Rocky Variations. 1.2899 0.03303 276 209 54 13
1228 Anyone else got any smart remarks ? 1.2899 0.03421 276 212 48 16
1229 I would like to play now a little something composed by the late Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2899 0.03534 276 215 42 19
1230 Unfortunately, the necessity of dealing with hecklers has placed certain…constraints…on my artistry. 1.2898 0.03509 283 221 42 20
1231 I am also Blind! 1.2897 0.03307 290 222 52 16
1232 I will now play some Black & Blues. 1.2896 0.03254 297 227 54 16
1233 And now, reimagined for pianoforte, the theme from Rocky. 1.2896 0.03391 297 231 46 20
1234 Oh, ho, yes, I’m the great contender. 1.2895 0.03425 266 203 49 14
1235 Next, my take on the theme from "Rocky." 1.2894 0.03284 311 241 50 20
1236 Personally, I thought it was a knock-out performance. 1.2894 0.03244 273 205 57 11
1237 And now, I will do a rendition of "The Boxer," by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2894 0.03326 273 207 53 13
1238 Well, this is unique. In the last one I was naked! 1.2892 0.03402 287 222 47 18
1239 And now Bach’s Golden Glove Variations. 1.2890 0.03325 301 233 49 19
1240 And now for Round 2 of tonight's performance. 1.2890 0.03141 308 234 59 15
1241 I call this 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.2888 0.03523 277 216 42 19
1242 Let me give you a tune with some punch! 1.2887 0.03277 284 216 54 14
1243 Yes, it's a fight song! 1.2887 0.03122 284 212 62 10
1244 Here’s a little something for all you boxing fans”. 1.2887 0.03403 291 226 46 19
1245 Chopin Piano Concerto, round 3. 1.2886 0.03102 298 224 62 12
1246 Nobody talks during my performance. 1.2885 0.03433 260 198 49 13
1247 I shall now play Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee Flat 1.2885 0.03306 312 243 48 21
1248 I just got tired of tickling the ivories... 1.2884 0.03201 267 199 59 9
1249 Let's get ready to Pianooo! 1.2883 0.03434 274 211 47 16
1250 My next piece is played fortissississimo. 1.2883 0.03523 281 220 41 20
1251 I’m all thumbs tonight. 1.2883 0.03299 281 214 53 14
1252 My encore is a real knockout! 1.2883 0.03450 281 218 45 18
1253 'I will now play 'Silent Night'. 1.2882 0.03497 288 226 41 21
1254 And I'm wearing flippers. 1.2881 0.03266 295 226 53 16
1255 I've never butchered a tune in my life. Bruised one, occasionally. 1.2881 0.02970 295 218 69 8
1256 No, Dad. I told you before: I want to play piano. 1.2881 0.03195 295 224 57 14
1257 An now, a medley of “Rocky” theme songs. 1.2880 0.03150 316 242 57 17
1258 This is for the table that requested the theme from “Rocky”! 1.2879 0.03324 257 193 54 10
1259 Here comes the hook. 1.2879 0.03397 264 201 50 13
1260 Boxing. It helps me think outside of the piano. 1.2878 0.03498 271 210 44 17
1261 Before I take the gloves off are there any requests? 1.2878 0.03213 271 203 58 10
1262 Let's get rrready to rrrubato! 1.2878 0.03322 278 212 52 14
1263 We'll have a brief intermission while I decide my future. 1.2878 0.03512 278 217 42 19
1264 And now, Muhammad Ali's fifth symphony. 1.2877 0.03415 285 221 46 18
1265 And now, my Concerto in A-B-C-D-E-F-G minor." 1.2877 0.03229 285 216 56 13
1266 Any requests for another Round? 1.2877 0.03323 292 225 50 17
1267 I would like to now play a piece by Rocky Maninoff. 1.2877 0.03323 292 225 50 17
1268 Unlike Phillip Glass, I’m a maximist. I hit as many keys as I can at once. 1.2876 0.03235 299 229 54 16
1269 Now, my rendition of Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2873 0.03423 275 212 47 16
1270 For my next piece, I shall float like a butterfly and sting in the key of B flat. 1.2873 0.03384 275 211 49 15
1271 I present to you now a finale that floats like Madame Butterfly yet stings like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2872 0.03365 282 217 49 16
1272 And now, a recently discovered composition by John Cage. 1.2872 0.03476 282 220 43 19
1273 I love playing Beethoven's 'Hammerklavier Sonata' 1.2872 0.03123 289 217 61 11
1274 And now, by request, LaMotta Sonata. 1.2871 0.03306 303 235 49 19
1275 Welcome to Fight Club. 1.2868 0.03403 258 196 50 12
1276 This one's from the boxed set. 1.2868 0.03591 265 207 40 18
1277 My next selection is a real knockout. 1.2868 0.03428 265 203 48 14
1278 I said I could punch out a tune. 1.2868 0.03287 272 206 54 12
1279 I call this one, “A Fistful of Keys.” 1.2867 0.03272 279 212 54 13
1280 This next number will be a little Rocky 1.2867 0.03350 279 214 50 15
1281 Actually, it's all in the technique. 1.2867 0.03278 293 225 52 16
1282 And now in the key of Ali. 1.2867 0.03294 300 232 50 18
1283 When I told the host of this show, I'd play for free, he said 'sure, knock yourself out.'" 1.2867 0.03226 300 230 54 16
1284 Let me welcome you to our annual Boxing Day concert 1.2866 0.03176 307 235 56 16
1285 Well, technique isn't everything. 1.2866 0.02937 335 253 68 14
1286 And now, ladies and gentlemen, Chopin and I will duke it out. 1.2863 0.03444 248 188 49 11
1287 And now, if I may, my rendition of “Hail to the Chief”. 1.2863 0.03815 262 210 29 23
1288 I am going to float like a butterfly and sting like a B major 1.2863 0.03495 262 202 45 15
1289 Wait until the gloves come off. 1.2862 0.03181 269 201 59 9
1290 Many of you know this from my box set. 1.2862 0.03334 276 211 51 14
1291 I could a been a contender... 1.2862 0.03295 276 210 53 13
1292 It's worse than it looks. They're thumbless gloves. 1.2862 0.03355 283 218 49 16
1293 This next round is from the work of TKOvsky 1.2862 0.03241 283 215 55 13
1294 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now perform for you Ali's concerto in the keys of A,B,C , D and E. 1.2862 0.03202 283 214 57 12
1295 Oh, I'll hit the right note alright! 1.2862 0.03279 283 216 53 14
1296 This next selection is a real knockout. 1.2862 0.03300 290 223 51 16
1297 This next one is also by Stravinsky. 1.2862 0.03329 304 237 47 20
1298 Now for Chopin’s Etude in G# minor, Op.25; No.6 the hard way. 1.2857 0.03375 266 203 50 13
1299 Who tuned this? 1.2857 0.03499 266 206 44 16
1300 Let's see if you can guess who composed this piece." 1.2857 0.03514 273 213 42 18
1301 And now, my rendition of the "The Theme From Rocky'. 1.2857 0.03075 322 246 60 16
1302 Pianist!? I could've swore the classified sought a pugilist. 1.2857 0.03465 287 225 42 20
1303 Tonight, you’ll hear DeBussy with some punch! 1.2857 0.03112 301 228 60 13
1304 My next piece is in one-two time. 1.2857 0.03201 308 237 54 17
1305 Yes, I can do "Eye of the Tiger" 1.2857 0.03168 322 249 54 19
1306 *“Alas, ebony and ivory don’t always live together in perfect harmony.” 1.2853 0.03156 319 246 55 18
1307 I call the next piece "The Ring Cycle". 1.2853 0.03172 312 240 55 17
1308 Here's a punchy little etude... 1.2852 0.03058 298 224 63 11
1309 'The Boxer by Paul Simon." 1.2852 0.03167 298 227 57 14
1310 And now, for your listening pleasure, I will attempt chopsticks. 1.2852 0.03340 298 232 47 19
1311 ...in the key of b-c-d-e-f 1.2852 0.03306 298 231 49 18
1312 Anvil Chorus, anyone? 1.2852 0.03104 291 219 61 11
1313 I’m just going to knock-out this new piece for you. 1.2852 0.03290 291 224 51 16
1314 I think I misunderstood the phrase 'hitting the right notes'. 1.2852 0.03231 284 216 55 13
1315 Contrary to what others believe, Mr. Trump believes a pianist plays just as well with boxing gloves as without. While I don't expect to convince him, I will try to prove to others this just isn't true. 1.2852 0.03231 284 216 55 13
1316 This next song, is a total knock-out! 1.2852 0.03363 277 213 49 15
1317 There will be a 1 minute intermission between each of my 10 pieces. 1.2852 0.03363 277 213 49 15
1318 This next piece is a real knock out. 1.2852 0.03340 270 206 51 13
1319 I'm going to play Erik Satie's Aperçus désagréables for two gloved hands. 1.2848 0.03098 323 248 58 17
1320 Etude" by Muhammad Ali.. 1.2848 0.03269 316 247 48 21
1321 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO KNOCKOUT ANOTHER TUNE? 1.2848 0.03241 302 233 52 17
1322 I'm hoping this will strike a chord with you. 1.2847 0.03294 295 228 50 17
1323 ...and now an original composition that I like to call "Thrilla in Manila" 1.2847 0.03223 295 226 54 15
1324 Just wait until I take the gloves off! 1.2847 0.03294 295 228 50 17
1325 I call this next piece, Ali vs. Frazier, in B minor. 1.2847 0.03275 288 221 52 15
1326 Why do I do this? Because I can't sing or dance. 1.2847 0.03330 281 216 50 15
1327 For this next piece you might want to turn down the volume on your cellphones. 1.2846 0.03447 267 206 46 15
1328 This one was my first big HIT! 1.2843 0.03310 306 239 47 20
1329 Now I will play, “Domm, Domm, Domm,...Dommmm.. 1.2843 0.03310 306 239 47 20
1330 I will now perform Beat It. 1.2843 0.03144 306 234 57 15
1331 I will now play "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.2843 0.03193 299 229 55 15
1332 And for you Brits, "A Ballad for Boxing Day." 1.2843 0.03193 299 229 55 15
1333 I shall now play Bach in the combative style. 1.2842 0.03183 285 216 57 12
1334 The next piece will be a bit bombastic.... 1.2842 0.03259 285 218 53 14
1335 And now, I'll play selections from my box set. 1.2842 0.03407 285 222 45 18
1336 They call me Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2842 0.03104 285 214 61 10
1337 Oddsmakers have ebony over ivory in the third round . 1.2842 0.03391 278 215 47 16
1338 And now, an eight-count piece by Mauler 1.2842 0.03467 278 217 43 18
1339 This one's in the key of Knock You Flat. 1.2842 0.03353 278 214 49 15
1340 Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's piece is a real knock-out. 1.2842 0.03234 278 211 55 12
1341 Now, the punchier rendition . 1.2842 0.03274 278 212 53 13
1342 I'm afraid my performance will be a little rocky 1.2841 0.03567 271 213 39 19
1343 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto no. 2- twelfth round. 1.2841 0.03554 264 206 41 17
1344 Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2839 0.03435 310 247 38 25
1345 Box variations. 1.2839 0.03215 310 240 52 18
1346 Its Rimsky-Korsakov with a postmodern vibe: I call it "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2838 0.03299 303 236 48 19
1347 I'm really gonna pound this one out! 1.2838 0.03319 296 230 48 18
1348 And now, the theme song to 'Rocky' 1.2837 0.03302 289 223 50 16
1349 If you hum a few bars I can probably punch it out. 1.2837 0.03302 289 223 50 16
1350 Next will be my Mohammed Ali "Flight of the Butterfly" 1.2837 0.03302 289 223 50 16
1351 And now, I will batter the ivories. 1.2837 0.03357 282 218 48 16
1352 Welcome to our Boxng Day concert. 1.2837 0.03504 282 222 40 20
1353 My next piece consists of ten rounds. 1.2837 0.03394 282 219 46 17
1354 And then I realized, my fight with the music IS the music 1.2837 0.03394 282 219 46 17
1355 and now, I'll knock out one your old favorites. 1.2837 0.03281 282 216 52 14
1356 For this next piece, use of your mobile phones is encouraged. 1.2836 0.03376 275 212 48 15
1357 Brahms? A minor punch. Rachmaninov, fell flat. But Beethoven? Kills in the fifth. 1.2833 0.03253 300 232 51 17
1358 And next, the theme from Rocky. 1.2833 0.03410 293 230 43 20
1359 ...And in the right corner, hailing from the Steinway factory in Queens, weighing in at 1200 pounds, it's GRAND PIANO!!! 1.2833 0.03198 293 224 55 14
1360 Now I will do the piece I played for Harvard’s Admissions Committee. 1.2833 0.03270 293 226 51 16
1361 And now for the younger members of the audience, a few death metal classics. 1.2833 0.03306 293 227 49 17
1362 This combines the artistry of Joe Louis and Louis Armstrong. 1.2832 0.03249 286 219 53 14
1363 You should see the keys!! 1.2832 0.03264 279 213 53 13
1364 The theme from Rocky 1.2832 0.03380 279 216 47 16
1365 The latest OSHA regulation. 1.2832 0.03418 279 217 45 17
1366 let's hit it again 1.2831 0.03319 272 208 51 13
1367 It's an unfinished piece if anyone's cellphone goes off. 1.2830 0.03158 318 246 54 18
1368 Is my tie crooked? 1.2829 0.03256 304 236 50 18
1369 Today I shall be playing 'Concussion in fist major' 1.2829 0.03322 304 238 46 20
1370 Are you certain these are the same gloves Glenn Gould used? 1.2828 0.03309 297 231 48 18
1371 And now, my final number will just knock you out! 1.2828 0.03168 297 227 56 14
1372 And here's a knockout hit I wrote recently... 1.2828 0.03255 290 223 52 15
1373 I call this next piece, “The Fight of The Bumblebee “. 1.2828 0.03399 290 227 44 19
1374 And now, Madam Butterfly, Stings Like A Bee. 1.2828 0.03399 290 227 44 19
1375 You were right. This does sound a little better. 1.2827 0.03232 283 216 54 13
1376 This next piece is "'Requiem' for a Heavyweight," my homage to Mozart. 1.2827 0.03421 283 221 44 18
1377 I'm just not that in to melodies 1.2827 0.03193 283 215 56 12
1378 Now for my knockout piece as the encore. 1.2826 0.03163 276 208 58 10
1379 This next sonata is a real knock out. 1.2825 0.03300 269 205 52 12
1380 And now a tribute to the late great Muhammad Ali. 1.2825 0.03342 269 206 50 13
1381 Hey, it's flu season. 1.2824 0.03277 301 234 49 18
1382 I first learned my next number from my three year old. 1.2823 0.03260 294 227 51 16
1383 One note requests please. 1.2823 0.03260 294 227 51 16
1384 I used to play by ear. 1.2822 0.03562 287 229 35 23
1385 When you asked if I could pound the keys... 1.2822 0.03350 287 223 47 17
1386 this next piece is from "Rocky". 1.2822 0.03163 287 218 57 12
1387 And now for something 'molto energetico e furioso' ! 1.2822 0.03387 287 224 45 18
1388 In tune, but out of touch. 1.2822 0.03350 287 223 47 17
1389 And now, Ladies and Gentleman, I will take a stab at the notoriously difficult "Etude Brute." 1.2821 0.03332 280 216 49 15
1390 3, 2, 1... Hit It! 1.2821 0.03332 280 216 49 15
1391 Victor Borge in his final round 1.2821 0.03293 280 215 51 14
1392 And now I'd like to bang out a little ditty of my own... 1.2821 0.03086 319 245 58 16
1393 I will now perform Round 3. 1.2821 0.02963 312 235 66 11
1394 I will now play Sonata in B Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.2821 0.03197 312 242 52 18
1395 They're required by my insurance company. 1.2821 0.03268 273 208 53 12
1396 And now, the Dempsey Sonata 1.2819 0.03469 259 200 45 14
1397 And now, in memory of Rod Serling, Anthony Quinn, Jackie Gleason and Mickey Rooney: Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.2818 0.03058 291 219 62 10
1398 I will now play Rachy 3. 1.2818 0.03492 291 231 38 22
1399 This next work is entitled “Symphony in Three Rounds.” 1.2818 0.03172 291 222 56 13
1400 And now, for The Fight of the Bumblebee! 1.2818 0.03318 291 226 48 17
1401 My next piece really packs a punch. 1.2817 0.03105 284 214 60 10
1402 This one is called 'I'm gonna smash your face', in G minor. 1.2817 0.03482 284 224 40 20
1403 I will now play Box Prelude and Fugue in G Minor 1.2817 0.03482 284 224 40 20
1404 Which one of you yelled, 'I want the hits'? 1.2817 0.03261 284 218 52 14
1405 Good evening and welcome to 'Boxers Got Talent'! 1.2817 0.03299 284 219 50 15
1406 And now, Rockymanenough Piano Concerto no. 2 1.2816 0.03200 316 246 51 19
1407 The nightmare before the concert. 1.2816 0.03648 245 191 39 15
1408 This way I don't have to insure my hands. 1.2816 0.03276 277 212 52 13
1409 Ladies and gentlemen, The Palooka Polka. 1.2816 0.03432 277 216 44 17
1410 This next one has a hook that will be in your head for days. 1.2816 0.03355 277 214 48 15
1411 Now, I’d like to play you a selection of my greatest hits. 1.2816 0.03184 309 239 53 17
1412 I'll be playing Beethoven's Symphony No. 7 in A major. It may take awhile. 1.2815 0.03205 270 204 56 10
1413 Everyone now...supercali-pugilistic-expialidocious... 1.2815 0.03234 302 234 51 17
1414 And now for some Wagner. 1.2814 0.03179 295 226 55 14
1415 This will be 1812 like you've never heard. 1.2814 0.03142 295 225 57 13
1416 This time I'm not going to tickle the ivories! 1.2814 0.03068 295 223 61 11
1417 Would you care to join me in a round? 1.2814 0.03355 295 231 45 19
1418 And now, a couple of rounds with Shoenberg. 1.2812 0.03304 288 223 49 16
1419 And now a little piece I call the "The Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2811 0.03397 281 219 45 17
1420 I'm in between careers. 1.2810 0.03068 306 233 60 13
1421 What does Beethoven being deaf have to do with it? 1.2810 0.03571 274 217 37 20
1422 My next selection is a Rockymaninoff 1.2810 0.03495 274 215 41 18
1423 My next number will be a one hit wonder. 1.2810 0.03338 274 211 49 14
1424 Begging your indulgence, my New Year's resolution is to stop biting my nails. 1.2809 0.03397 267 206 47 14
1425 This next number will really knock you out! 1.2808 0.03162 292 223 56 13
1426 I will now play for you a piece by Donald J. Trump called ‘Bing Bing Bong Bong’ 1.2808 0.03128 317 245 55 17
1427 This next piece may sound a little dissonant.... 1.2807 0.03135 285 216 58 11
1428 Chopsticks? 1.2807 0.03436 285 224 42 19
1429 And now I will perform"Horowitz at age 2" 1.2807 0.03326 285 221 48 16
1430 The next is a request from Mike Tyson 1.2806 0.03142 310 239 55 16
1431 And now, I shall play Beethoven's Fifth Round 1.2806 0.03102 278 209 60 9
1432 My counter punch is much better than my counter point. 1.2805 0.03292 303 237 47 19
1433 They told me it was Boxing Day. 1.2805 0.03121 303 232 57 14
1434 Despite his millions earned, Rocky Balboa eventually went baroque. 1.2804 0.03321 271 208 50 13
1435 For my next number, I will play the theme from "Rocky." 1.2804 0.03559 271 214 38 19
1436 I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. I coulda been somebody. Instead of a bum. Which is what I am. 1.2804 0.03311 296 231 47 18
1437 When was this piano tuned? 1.2804 0.03413 296 234 41 21
1438 In honor of Boxing Day . . . 1.2803 0.03421 264 204 46 14
1439 And now my tribute to Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2803 0.03220 289 222 53 14
1440 It’s not The Fight of The Bumblebee? 1.2803 0.03401 289 227 43 19
1441 I thought they said pugilist. 1.2803 0.03257 289 223 51 15
1442 For this Inaugural Dance, I will now play I Did It My Way. 1.2803 0.03144 289 220 57 12
1443 This concert is off to a Rocky start. 1.2803 0.03106 289 219 59 11
1444 And now ladies and gentlemen, Tchaikovsky’s ‘Incompetent Piano Movers’ in G Minor. 1.2801 0.03294 307 241 46 20
1445 I'm a lover and a fighter. 1.2800 0.02995 300 226 64 10
1446 I will now perform a more faithful interpretation of "Baby Elephant Walk". 1.2800 0.03288 275 211 51 13
1447 I hope you enjoy this next number. I knocked it out last night. 1.2800 0.03280 300 234 48 18
1448 When I said I wanted to hit the ivories..." 1.2800 0.03105 325 252 55 18
1449 Sonata for two boxing gloves on three keys at a time, molto grandissimo. 1.2799 0.03259 268 204 53 11
1450 For my next selection, I will be playing the theme from "Rocky". 1.2797 0.03133 311 240 55 16
1451 This evening’s performance, of Tyson’s 1st, is also available on a box set. 1.2797 0.03241 286 220 52 14
1452 And now, in the key of B flat, the theme from Rocky 1.2797 0.03316 286 222 48 16
1453 What did you think "Ring Cycle" meant? 1.2797 0.03316 286 222 48 16
1454 I think you'll agree this next tune is a real knockout. 1.2797 0.03179 261 196 57 8
1455 And now, a special request from my piano professor. 1.2796 0.03147 304 234 55 15
1456 I don’t exactly tickle the ivories anymore. 1.2796 0.03295 279 215 50 14
1457 Real men don't tickle the ivories. 1.2796 0.03410 279 218 44 17
1458 Ladies and gentlemen, we are recording tonight's performance which, I expect, will be released as a boxed set. 1.2796 0.03334 279 216 48 15
1459 And for my next selection, a round. 1.2796 0.03410 279 218 44 17
1460 It is the insurance company's rule. 1.2795 0.03232 297 230 51 16
1461 Remember students, always practice safe sax, and don't forget to put a glove on your pianist. 1.2793 0.03426 290 229 41 20
1462 It worked for my cat. 1.2793 0.03247 290 224 51 15
1463 ...and for my next piece I will play “Bling Blong Blaap Blorp” in C-minor 1.2793 0.03356 290 227 45 18
1464 Now, a new work, “Brexit Compromise,” in B flat minor. 1.2792 0.03533 265 208 40 17
1465 My next piece is titled 'Yo Adriana' " 1.2792 0.03413 283 222 43 18
1466 I will be playing fight of the bumblebee. 1.2790 0.03357 276 214 47 15
1467 I will now play 'Sonata in D minor', by George Foreman. 1.2790 0.03317 276 213 49 14
1468 A copy of my new album to whoever guesses what I'm playing 1.2789 0.03253 294 228 50 16
1469 The ivory is going to be black and blue after I'm done with it 1.2789 0.03144 294 225 56 13
1470 No dad, I'm giving up on your dream 1.2788 0.03092 312 240 57 15
1471 Why tickle the ivories? Pound them with passion! 1.2787 0.03077 287 217 60 10
1472 I would now like to play Ravel's "Concerto for No Hands." 1.2787 0.03104 305 234 57 14
1473 I call this next piece 'Fight of the Jumbled Keys'. 1.2786 0.03434 262 203 45 14
1474 Tonight I will perform "Fight of the bumblebees" 1.2786 0.03361 280 218 46 16
1475 And now, as requested, the theme from Rocky... 1.2785 0.03222 298 231 51 16
1476 This next piece is called "the fight of the bumble bees". 1.2785 0.03291 298 233 47 18
1477 They said the keys would be larger 1.2785 0.03065 316 243 58 15
1478 I float like DeBussy and sting like Rimsky-Korsakov 1.2784 0.03420 273 213 44 16
1479 I invite you to sing along while I punch out a few notes. 1.2784 0.03217 273 208 54 11
1480 My next piece is a real knockout. 1.2784 0.03175 273 207 56 10
1481 Now for a thumping good tune 1.2784 0.03126 291 222 57 12
1482 I'm working on my fortissimos. 1.2784 0.03163 291 223 55 13
1483 And now for round three. 1.2783 0.03076 309 237 58 14
1484 This song was composed by my two year old son on the pots and pans. 1.2782 0.03743 248 197 33 18
1485 I think this piece will really knock you out, folks." 1.2782 0.03471 248 191 45 12
1486 This will be on the forte end of pianoforte, okay?" 1.2782 0.03314 266 204 50 12
1487 That was John Cage. Any questions? 1.2782 0.03481 266 208 42 16
1488 No hitting below b-flat 1.2782 0.03253 284 219 51 14
1489 And now for "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.2780 0.03460 259 201 44 14
1490 Does anybody dare to make a request? 1.2780 0.03282 259 197 52 10
1491 Hey, I can knock out a tune with the best of them 1.2780 0.03460 259 201 44 14
1492 The next piece will be three minutes long. 1.2780 0.03236 259 196 54 9
1493 Roll over, Beethoven. 1.2780 0.03503 259 202 42 15
1494 I call this The Pugilissimo. 1.2780 0.03282 259 197 52 10
1495 And now, a visual depiction of writer's block. 1.2780 0.03134 295 226 56 13
1496 Next up is a really punchy tune. 1.2780 0.03097 295 225 58 12
1497 It's the only way I can make it through John Cage's 4'33" without playing a wrong note. 1.2780 0.03382 295 233 42 20
1498 I range from Marvin Hamlisch to Marvin Hagler. 1.2780 0.03171 295 227 54 14
1499 And now, our alma mater's fight song. 1.2780 0.03181 313 244 51 18
1500 And for the next song from my new boxed set . . . 1.2778 0.03095 306 235 57 14
1501 Oh, you meant BACH's Goldberg Variations? 1.2778 0.03404 270 210 45 15
1502 This next song is a punchy little number ... 1.2778 0.03068 288 218 60 10
1503 Chopsticks it is then! 1.2778 0.02949 324 247 64 13
1504 I'm the boxer of Seville. 1.2778 0.03196 270 205 55 10
1505 Schubert has requested a rematch. 1.2778 0.02989 306 232 63 11
1506 And now, something in tempo "pugilissimo". 1.2778 0.03238 270 206 53 11
1507 And we will finish off the evening with Rimsky-Korsakov’s “”Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2776 0.03383 299 237 41 21
1508 These ivories need more than tickling. 1.2776 0.03247 299 233 49 17
1509 For me, playing Chopin's Sonatas have always been a personal battle 1.2776 0.03106 299 229 57 13
1510 Franz Lizst bangs the Piano with his Fizst. 1.2776 0.03274 281 217 50 14
1511 And now I’m going to pound out an old favorite. 1.2776 0.03274 281 217 50 14
1512 Yo adagio! 1.2776 0.03351 281 219 46 16
1513 I promise you a knockout performance. 1.2776 0.03337 263 202 49 12
1514 Any requests I can pound out for you? 1.2776 0.03351 245 186 50 9
1515 They're insured! 1.2774 0.03168 310 241 52 17
1516 And now for a swinging little tune with a hook that'll knock you out. 1.2774 0.03191 292 225 53 14
1517 Trump Concerto in F Minor 1.2774 0.03507 292 234 35 23
1518 That concludes Round 1, Round 2 will begin after intermission . 1.2774 0.03079 292 222 59 11
1519 For my next number...'Requiem for a Heavyweight' 1.2774 0.03289 274 211 50 13
1520 And now, especially for those of you out there with the drooping eyelids and the nodding heads, here is a little wake-up number! 1.2774 0.03207 274 209 54 11
1521 I really like to pound out the notes. 1.2773 0.03211 256 193 55 8
1522 I consider the piano my opponent. 1.2772 0.03043 303 231 60 12
1523 "This next one's gonna be a knockout." 1.2772 0.03392 285 224 43 18
1524 Get me LARGER KEYS. 1.2772 0.03355 285 223 45 17
1525 I need a new manager." 1.2772 0.03429 267 208 44 15
1526 I dedicate this next piece to my manager, who needs a better understanding of what a ‘boxing day concert’ is. 1.2772 0.03429 267 208 44 15
1527 This next piece I will play using only gentle jabs and delicate hooks. 1.2772 0.03469 267 209 42 16
1528 I said Bach, not box. 1.2771 0.03551 249 194 41 14
1529 You should hear me play when the gloves come off 1.2770 0.03162 296 228 54 14
1530 And now a little something I wrote for Boxing Day. 1.2770 0.03125 296 227 56 13
1531 And now my medley of college fight songs. 1.2770 0.03176 278 212 55 11
1532 For your pleasure, “Cacophony in B flat” 1.2769 0.03316 260 199 50 11
1533 Introducing classical music for millennials. Because alone, Piano Sonata No. 29 isn't enough to maintain your attention. 1.2769 0.03154 307 238 53 16
1534 Prepare to be really impressed. 1.2768 0.03249 289 224 50 15
1535 This one is a little punchier.” 1.2767 0.03061 300 229 59 12
1536 Now, I'll knock out the encore. 1.2767 0.03097 300 230 57 13
1537 For my next piece, I'll be playing the theme song from Rocky. 1.2767 0.03340 300 237 43 20
1538 This is going to be very postmodern. 1.2767 0.03373 300 238 41 21
1539 And now, The Dance of the Butterfly, by Muhammad Ali 1.2766 0.03378 282 221 44 17
1540 A boxed set of tonight’s performance will be available for purchase during the interval. 1.2766 0.03303 282 219 48 15
1541 Well, most musicians needs two jobs 1.2766 0.03303 282 219 48 15
1542 And now, Rocky III, Opus I. 1.2765 0.03025 311 238 60 13
1543 Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Round 3. 1.2765 0.03218 293 227 51 15
1544 And you thought Ray Charles had it hard! 1.2765 0.03182 293 226 53 14
1545 Folks, please remember, I am a professional. Do not try this at home. 1.2765 0.03182 293 226 53 14
1546 This next piece is titled, "Theme from Rocky". 1.2765 0.03145 293 225 55 13
1547 This next number really hits hard. 1.2765 0.03182 293 226 53 14
1548 I was told to punch up the ending 1.2764 0.03398 275 215 44 16
1549 This next piece is to be played 'molto forte.' 1.2764 0.03398 275 215 44 16
1550 This one is called “Fight Of The Bumblebee” 1.2762 0.03233 286 221 51 14
1551 Punchy melody it is. 1.2761 0.03250 268 205 52 11
1552 Yes, I lost a bet and yes, you can get a ticket refund. 1.2761 0.03116 297 228 56 13
1553 This next little number is a real knockout! 1.2761 0.03188 297 230 52 15
1554 Oh, I thought it was “Fight of the Bumblebee” ! 1.2759 0.03072 319 247 56 16
1555 If I hear one more phone ring, someone is getting knocked out! 1.2757 0.03342 272 211 47 14
1556 We've had a request for the National Anthem. 1.2756 0.03292 283 220 48 15
1557 My playing can float like Madame Butterfly and sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2756 0.03405 283 223 42 18
1558 I bet you've never heard the 1812 Overture on the piano! 1.2755 0.03209 294 228 51 15
1559 I shall now perform Handel with kid gloves. 1.2755 0.03442 265 207 43 15
1560 Promise you, next song is a knockout. 1.2754 0.02916 305 230 66 9
1561 And now for Beethoven's Piano Sonata Number 1 in F-Minor-ish 1.2754 0.03199 305 238 50 17
1562 I'm trying to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2754 0.03060 276 208 60 8
1563 Look ma, no fingers. 1.2754 0.03228 276 212 52 12
1564 And now, my arrangement of Paul Simon’s ‘The Boxer.’ 1.2754 0.03387 276 216 44 16
1565 Some people say I'm a bit heavy handed." 1.2754 0.03348 276 215 46 15
1566 And for those of you who think playing piano is for sissies... 1.2754 0.03103 276 209 58 9
1567 And now, the 1812 Overture for solo piano 1.2753 0.03371 287 226 43 18
1568 Music box? 1.2753 0.03185 287 221 53 13
1569 In honor of Brexit, I will now play the piano version of "Bang the Drums Slowly." 1.2751 0.03487 269 212 40 17
1570 And now, my own rendition of the 1812 Overture. 1.2751 0.03235 309 243 47 19
1571 And now, "Variation on 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'" by Muhammad Ali 1.2751 0.03300 309 245 43 21
1572 This next one needs to be preformed with a certain amount of punch 1.2750 0.03197 280 215 53 12
1573 I don't know why, but tonight I feel like I'm all thumbs. 1.2750 0.03074 280 212 59 9
1574 This next song may be a bit off key. 1.2749 0.03373 291 230 42 19
1575 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to play for you my interpretation of Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.2749 0.03266 291 227 48 16
1576 And now, for Chopin's Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2747 0.03411 273 214 43 16
1577 Nail fungus is nothing to chuckle about, ask the harp player. 1.2747 0.03331 273 212 47 14
1578 Next, I will play with one hand tied behind my back. 1.2746 0.03357 284 223 44 17
1579 I can't tickle the ivories but I can pound them" 1.2746 0.03163 295 228 53 14
1580 My Rachmaninoff may be a little Rocky. 1.2746 0.03051 295 225 59 11
1581 My other job is a hand model. 1.2746 0.03126 295 227 55 13
1582 And now for a bit of Rocky maninoff! 1.2744 0.03177 317 249 49 19
1583 And next, a lovely little composition by Victor Borge. 1.2744 0.03389 266 207 45 14
1584 Ohhh...you said we're going to Bach's! 1.2744 0.03389 266 207 45 14
1585 I’m hoping to knockout this Sonata in the first movement. 1.2744 0.02787 328 247 72 9
1586 Let's see Mike Tyson do this! 1.2744 0.03258 277 214 50 13
1587 And now I shall attempt Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2743 0.03360 288 227 43 18
1588 I have a really great hook for this song. 1.2742 0.03060 310 239 57 14
1589 And now I go three rounds with Rachmaninoff. 1.2741 0.03271 270 208 50 12
1590 I will now play the classic theme from ROCKY. 1.2740 0.03226 281 217 51 13
1591 The chorus will now join me for few rounds. 1.2740 0.03183 292 226 52 14
1592 Chopin is down for the count in three -quarter time. 1.2740 0.03183 292 226 52 14
1593 This next piece may be a little Rocky. 1.2740 0.03292 292 229 46 17
1594 Next I will perform, Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2740 0.03327 292 230 44 18
1595 This next piece demonstrates the difficulty bumblebees actually have in flight. 1.2739 0.03100 314 244 54 16
1596 This next piece, inspired by John Cage, is called Bruised Piano 1.2738 0.03327 263 203 48 12
1597 I call this next piece "The Crash of the Bumblebee." 1.2736 0.03117 296 228 55 13
1598 Now, the ‘Fight of the Bumblebee’ 1.2736 0.03043 307 236 58 13
1599 I had to struggle with this piece... 1.2734 0.03336 267 207 47 13
1600 I like to punch out a tune for you. 1.2734 0.03167 278 213 54 11
1601 Put up your Duke Ellingtons 1.2734 0.03127 289 222 55 12
1602 This next piece is titled, "Would You Please Stop F**king Playing That, Timmy? 1.2734 0.03277 289 226 47 16
1603 I will now take on Mozart 1.2733 0.02979 300 228 62 10
1604 The Boxing Ring Cycle 1.2733 0.03195 300 234 50 16
1605 Tonight I'll be knocking out the tunes for you. 1.2733 0.03078 322 251 54 17
1606 And now, a fantasie by Franz Liszton. 1.2731 0.03351 260 201 47 12
1607 As Beethoven famously asked, “Do you want a piece of me?” 1.2731 0.03343 271 211 46 14
1608 I couldn't find Madison Square Garden 1.2731 0.03176 271 207 54 10
1609 Maestro, Uppercut in C Major please. 1.2730 0.03137 282 216 55 11
1610 Tough piece. 1.2730 0.03294 282 220 47 15
1611 Ive had to fight my way to get here! 1.2730 0.03022 293 223 60 10
1612 Please hold your applause until I've finished. 1.2730 0.03246 293 229 48 16
1613 Let's get ready to crescendo! 1.2730 0.03022 293 223 60 10
1614 And now, a heavy-handed version of Jingle Bells. 1.2730 0.03097 304 235 55 14
1615 Never steal from the casino the night you’re scheduled to play piano there. 1.2730 0.03234 304 239 47 18
1616 This may look easy... It is not. 1.2730 0.02992 315 242 60 13
1617 I call this piece "Etude in the Key of Everything." 1.2727 0.03409 286 227 40 19
1618 It's more of a Box-trot. 1.2727 0.03187 275 211 53 11
1619 I said Bach's work, not box work. 1.2727 0.03273 264 203 50 11
1620 This next one is more ‘Rocky’ than Rachmaninoff. 1.2727 0.03269 275 213 49 13
1621 The cacophony suite is a new work 1.2727 0.02964 308 235 62 11
1622 This next piece is one I wrote for my ex-wife called "you should have signed the prenup" 1.2727 0.03486 264 208 40 16
1623 And now I present Sibulski's Concerto in A minor, D minor, and E-flat major 1.2727 0.03486 264 208 40 16
1624 My next piece is entitled, "The Boxer Rebellion." 1.2724 0.03110 312 243 53 16
1625 ...and now for my most-difficult piece... 1.2724 0.03289 301 238 44 19
1626 my plan is to pound these ivories into submission 1.2724 0.03079 290 222 57 11
1627 To complete this Mancini set, I’ll switch from Henry to Ray Boom Boom. 1.2724 0.03118 290 223 55 12
1628 Shall I play some selections from the boxed set? 1.2724 0.03304 290 228 45 17
1629 And now, by request, "Theme from Rocky." Again. 1.2724 0.03367 268 209 45 14
1630 This one's a bit punchy. 1.2724 0.03325 268 208 47 13
1631 This one has a punchy beat 1.2724 0.03240 268 206 51 11
1632 This next number is a knockout. It packs quite a punch. 1.2722 0.03179 316 249 48 19
1633 Next is "Flight of the Bumblebee," which I will also play blindfolded. 1.2721 0.03157 305 238 51 16
1634 They keys in this piece are pretty sharp. 1.2721 0.03164 294 228 52 14
1635 Just warming up 1.2721 0.03127 294 227 54 13
1636 And this time, you had better applaud. 1.2721 0.03206 283 219 51 13
1637 My next piece, Schumann's Toccata in C Major, is dedicated to my first piano teacher who told my mother I was all thumbs. 1.2721 0.03167 283 218 53 12
1638 I know what you're thinking. 1.2721 0.03087 283 216 57 10
1639 I shall now perform Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2721 0.03373 272 213 44 15
1640 I've had a request for "The Boxer." 1.2721 0.03333 272 212 46 14
1641 And, now, something a little punchy. 1.2721 0.03122 272 207 56 9
1642 Ravel's Piano Concerto for the Left Hand in D major,the hard way. 1.2721 0.03292 272 211 48 13
1643 My next number will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.2721 0.03122 272 207 56 9
1644 And now I will transition from tickling the ivories to punching them 1.2720 0.03295 261 201 49 11
1645 I’m wearing these gloves at the request of my fans 1.2718 0.03162 309 242 50 17
1646 And now, round four... 1.2718 0.03326 287 226 44 17
1647 I never liked the piano 1.2718 0.03214 287 223 50 14
1648 Now for a mash-up I like to call "Float like a Butterfly; sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.2717 0.03259 276 214 49 13
1649 Hit it, maestro! 1.2716 0.03597 243 191 38 14
1650 This next piece makes Beethoven look like a little bitch. 1.2716 0.03101 313 244 53 16
1651 Next, I will play the theme from Rocky. 1.2715 0.03312 302 240 42 20
1652 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be performing Simon and Garfunkel’s, The Boxer, as it was originally conceived. 1.2715 0.03107 302 234 54 14
1653 The record shows I took the blows and did it myyyyyy waaaayyyy 1.2715 0.03258 291 228 47 16
1654 And now some Gilbert and Sullivan melodies, as they might have been played by Jack Dempsey. 1.2714 0.03106 280 214 56 10
1655 And now a piece I call Für Muhammad Ali 1.2714 0.03188 280 216 52 12
1656 I play like a butterfly and sing like a bee. 1.2714 0.03478 269 213 39 17
1657 This next piece floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. 1.2713 0.02975 317 244 60 13
1658 I will now play Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer" 1.2712 0.03044 306 236 57 13
1659 I bite my nails. 1.2712 0.03227 295 231 48 16
1660 These? They're for when I meet that #*&@* composer after the concert. 1.2711 0.03273 284 222 47 15
1661 I did it myyyyyyy wayyyyyyy 1.2711 0.03197 284 220 51 13
1662 My next piece will be ‘Chopsticks - The Hard Way 1.2711 0.03198 273 210 52 11
1663 Yes, I'm Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2711 0.03281 273 212 48 13
1664 For your listening pleasure, I'll knock out a few oldies. 1.2711 0.03322 273 213 46 14
1665 Mother wanted me to be a pianist. Father wanted a pugilist, so I learned to punch the keys. 1.2710 0.03284 262 202 49 11
1666 There is no punch line! 1.2710 0.03052 310 240 56 14
1667 Now for some minimalism. 1.2710 0.03153 310 243 50 17
1668 I will now perform the Nocturne Pugilistica by Sugar Ray Mozart. 1.2709 0.03424 251 195 44 12
1669 Here’s a little something I wrote that requires playing a lot of consecutive keys at the same time. 1.2709 0.03126 299 232 53 14
1670 Oh, it was "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.2708 0.03316 288 227 44 17
1671 I am thrilled to be performing my first concert since completing my twelve step anti nose picking program. 1.2708 0.03204 288 224 50 14
1672 And my next number will really knock you out! 1.2708 0.03316 288 227 44 17
1673 Tonight's performance will be "A Little Rocky. 1.2708 0.03208 277 214 51 12
1674 And I'd like to close with a little chin music. 1.2708 0.03367 277 218 43 16
1675 And not without a smattering of irony. 1.2708 0.03084 277 211 57 9
1676 This next piece is called “Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.” 1.2708 0.03208 277 214 51 12
1677 This song promises to be a knock out! 1.2707 0.03337 266 207 46 13
1678 You should see what the keyboard looks like 1.2707 0.03072 266 201 58 7
1679 Thank you, that was "Chopsticks." And now, "Chopsticks." 1.2706 0.03202 303 238 48 17
1680 Who brought the piano? I asked for a gong! 1.2706 0.02990 303 232 60 11
1681 This one's for you, Mr. Stallone. 1.2706 0.03026 303 233 58 12
1682 I call this piece,"Boxer's Rebellion. 1.2706 0.03248 255 195 51 9
1683 The next selection is by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2705 0.03390 292 233 39 20
1684 And now, I would like to play you something from my pugilistic period. 1.2705 0.03099 292 225 55 12
1685 And now, Round 3 of selections from my complete boxed set! 1.2705 0.03319 292 231 43 18
1686 Ever feel like you've got the wrong job? 1.2705 0.03211 292 228 49 15
1687 I’m trying to stop biting my nails. 1.2705 0.03137 281 216 54 11
1688 Now, for a rarely-played piece from Wagner's Ring Cycle. 1.2705 0.03446 281 224 38 19
1689 Ladies and Gentlemen: Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer. 1.2705 0.03178 281 217 52 12
1690 Let’s get ready to rondo! 1.2704 0.03304 270 210 47 13
1691 My playing's been a bit Rocky of late... 1.2704 0.03139 307 240 51 16
1692 Boo me one more time - I dare you! 1.2703 0.03109 296 229 54 13
1693 And now, Rockymaninoff’s IVth 1.2702 0.03225 285 222 49 14
1694 My first number will be the theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2702 0.03375 285 226 41 18
1695 This is a little etude for note clusters, which I composed myself. 1.2701 0.03271 274 213 48 13
1696 And now the classic "88 keys in .8 seconds". 1.2701 0.03430 274 217 40 17
1697 I'm now going to pound out some Mozart. 1.2701 0.03271 274 213 48 13
1698 In this Christmas season I'd like to play a little Boxing Day number. 1.2700 0.03152 300 234 51 15
1699 A rendition of Balboa’s 5th 1.2700 0.03081 300 232 55 13
1700 To unlock the premium concert experience, please open the app and select the $3.99 in-app upgrade. 1.2700 0.03273 263 203 49 11
1701 Tickling the ivories really isn’t my style. 1.2698 0.03198 278 215 51 12
1702 Now I will play ‘Fight of the bumblebee’ better known as ‘Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.’ 1.2698 0.03357 278 219 43 16
1703 My dog wrote this next piece. 1.2698 0.03278 278 217 47 14
1704 Give me a Ten Count! 1.2698 0.03157 278 214 53 11
1705 The precision may not be quite adequate but fortissimos are exeptional ! 1.2697 0.03053 304 235 56 13
1706 I alone can play it. 1.2695 0.03207 282 219 50 13
1707 This is called he Mefisto Waltz. 1.2695 0.03246 282 220 48 14
1708 …called Migraine in A Major. 1.2695 0.03207 282 219 50 13
1709 This one's for my Pop, who always wanted me to become a fighter 1.2694 0.03166 271 208 53 10
1710 This concert is going the full twelve rounds 1.2694 0.03062 297 229 56 12
1711 Its not easy being Victor Borg's son! 1.2694 0.03172 297 232 50 15
1712 It's all in the wrist. 1.2694 0.03172 297 232 50 15
1713 I apologize for that last prelude. Now, on to box the ill-tempered clavier. 1.2694 0.03062 297 229 56 12
1714 And now I'd like to pound out a little something for you." 1.2693 0.03063 323 253 53 17
1715 Ladies and gentlemen ... I will now attempt to free my hands and play the Minute Waltz in 55 seconds or less. 1.2693 0.03063 323 253 53 17
1716 This composition needs more punch. 1.2692 0.03138 286 221 53 12
1717 I’d like to now play the piano version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2692 0.02966 312 240 60 12
1718 And now: Beethoven's Ninth--in the style of American democracy. 1.2692 0.03437 286 229 37 20
1719 With so many Messiahs to compete with I dedicate this next piece to the Electoral College. 1.2692 0.03069 312 243 54 15
1720 Degree of difficulty 9.7 1.2691 0.03072 301 233 55 13
1721 I float like a butterfly but sting in B-minor 1.2691 0.03108 301 234 53 14
1722 1, 2, 3 - hit it! 1.2691 0.03178 275 212 52 11
1723 Pardon me for any wrong notes, folks. These are actually my cello gloves. 1.2691 0.03260 275 214 48 13
1724 The last time I played this next tune, someone nearly bit my ear off. 1.2691 0.03419 275 218 40 17
1725 Be quiet please, I'm going to knock out a few tunes for you. 1.2690 0.03147 290 225 52 13
1726 Oh! I thought you wanted a knockout performance. 1.2690 0.03222 290 227 48 15
1727 For my next number I shall pound the keyboard. 1.2690 0.03109 290 224 54 12
1728 Now for some Rachymaninoff. 1.2690 0.03367 290 231 40 19
1729 Now for the couple at the cozy corner table, some tunes to fight by 1.2690 0.03332 290 230 42 18
1730 And now I will perform 'The Theme from Rocky.' 1.2689 0.03558 264 211 35 18
1731 And now the concerto from 'Raging Bull' 1.2689 0.03081 264 200 57 7
1732 And now my knockout sonata. 1.2689 0.03009 305 235 58 12
1733 And now, the theme song I wrote for "Rocky," which was unfortunately rejected. 1.2689 0.02973 305 234 60 11
1734 This is how I avoid carpal tunnel syndrome. 1.2688 0.03147 279 215 53 11
1735 What - you don't like Punchini? 1.2688 0.03307 253 195 48 10
1736 My new composition is a real knockout. 1.2687 0.03155 294 229 51 14
1737 It's kind of a punchy tune! 1.2687 0.03043 294 226 57 11
1738 And now for a blow by blow rendition of Schubert's Three Military Marches, Opus 51. 1.2686 0.03388 283 225 40 18
1739 Evening, folks. I'm gonna knock out a few tunes for ya. 1.2686 0.02995 283 215 60 8
1740 Now I will play a theme from Rocky. 1.2685 0.03454 257 202 41 14
1741 And now I'd like to play you a punchy little tune. 1.2685 0.03364 257 200 45 12
1742 And now I shall play a medley of pet-performed pieces from the Internet. 1.2684 0.03560 272 219 33 20
1743 My mother wanted a pianist.....my father wanted a pugilist. 1.2683 0.03206 287 224 49 14
1744 And now I shall pummel out a pleasing polonaise for your pleasure. 1.2683 0.03206 287 224 49 14
1745 Anyone want to hear the theme from Rocky? 1.2683 0.02969 287 218 61 8
1746 Mid-career transitions are always difficult - but this one has been especially so for me. 1.2682 0.03329 261 203 46 12
1747 Yo Adrian, can you turn the music for me? 1.2681 0.03290 276 216 46 14
1748 And then The Maestro begged me to stop fighting the instrument. 1.2681 0.03330 276 217 44 15
1749 J. S. BACHINGGLOVE 1.2680 0.03175 291 227 50 14
1750 I wish my manager could enunciate. The word was Bach. 1.2680 0.03378 250 194 45 11
1751 It's the most efficient way to play twelve-tone music 1.2679 0.03546 265 212 35 18
1752 Any less abusive requests? 1.2678 0.03359 295 236 39 20
1753 Last time, Rachmaninoff won. 1.2678 0.03072 295 228 55 12
1754 ...and while I am entirely grateful to Modells for underwriting this concert, I do feel compelled to mention that there were certain strings attached.... 1.2678 0.03034 295 227 57 11
1755 Time to punch this tune up a little 1.2676 0.03148 284 220 52 12
1756 This is the LAST time I do request. 1.2675 0.03052 314 245 54 15
1757 I’ll now fight my way through some more Chopin. 1.2674 0.03398 258 202 43 13
1758 I will now play "Hail To The Chief". 1.2674 0.03471 273 218 37 18
1759 What do you mean it could be punchier? 1.2674 0.03353 273 215 43 15
1760 I'll now play the 3rd movement of Muhammad Ali's second symphony 1.2674 0.03233 288 226 47 15
1761 Wow! A knockout performance! 1.2674 0.03196 288 225 49 14
1762 Raging Bach 1.2671 0.03397 277 220 40 17
1763 And now for your listening pleasure, the theme from “Rocky”. 1.2671 0.03199 277 215 50 12
1764 I call this next number "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2671 0.03203 292 229 48 15
1765 And one more time, the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth. 1.2671 0.03128 292 227 52 13
1766 Flight of the Bumble Bee is out of the question. Any other requests?... 1.2671 0.02883 307 234 64 9
1767 Something punchy? 1.2669 0.03328 266 208 45 13
1768 I will now play the Mike Tyson Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.2669 0.03285 266 207 47 12
1769 If Beethoven could do it deaf, then I might as well try my best. 1.2669 0.03137 296 231 51 14
1770 And now, my latest composition in celebration of Boxing Day. 1.2669 0.03280 296 235 43 18
1771 Playing with ten fingers is easy. 1.2669 0.03100 296 230 53 13
1772 There will be copies of my box-set available in the lobby after the show! 1.2667 0.03331 255 198 46 11
1773 This next piece is a hit song. 1.2667 0.02942 315 243 60 12
1774 And now for a piece by Pugalini. 1.2667 0.03178 285 222 50 13
1775 When you're as great as I am, you really should have some kind of handicap. 1.2667 0.03422 255 200 42 13
1776 Due to recent OSHA regulations for Rachmaninoff... 1.2667 0.03179 300 236 48 16
1777 And now, for your enjoyment, I will box the ivories. 1.2667 0.03249 300 238 44 18
1778 Here's a punchy little number I think you'll like. 1.2667 0.03335 270 212 44 14
1779 Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not going to tickle the ivories; I am going to clobber the Bosendorfer." This is Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" without the moonlight 1.2667 0.03189 255 195 52 8
1780 And now I’d like to play a medley of my greatest hits. 1.2667 0.03255 285 224 46 15
1781 Take that, Mr. Rachmaninoff...... 1.2664 0.03150 304 239 49 16
1782 I will next perform the theme from Rocky. 1.2664 0.03009 304 235 57 12
1783 Get ready to rumble 1.2664 0.02991 289 221 59 9
1784 And now my rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis and "Great Balls of Fire" 1.2664 0.03186 289 226 49 14
1785 And now something more contemporary... 1.2664 0.03297 289 229 43 17
1786 And for my next number I will play Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2664 0.03382 274 217 41 16
1787 And now, some tunes from The Ring. 1.2664 0.03460 274 219 37 18
1788 And then I hear my ex-wife laughing in the audience, and then I wake up--every time. 1.2664 0.03421 274 218 39 17
1789 In this final piece, I will be combining The Art of the Fugue with the Queensberry Rules. 1.2662 0.03081 293 227 54 12
1790 This one I call "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of a bumblebee." 1.2662 0.03021 278 212 58 8
1791 I don't know if I can play it in that key. 1.2662 0.03229 278 217 48 13
1792 I only sing 1.2662 0.03436 263 208 40 15
1793 I will now play for you “Eine Kleine Knock You Out.” 1.2660 0.03199 297 234 47 16
1794 And now, Concerto Number 4, Round 3, in B-flat minor. 1.2660 0.03198 282 220 49 13
1795 My next piece will be the theme from Rocky. 1.2658 0.02968 316 245 58 13
1796 Sonata in the key of Ali 1.2658 0.03135 301 236 50 15
1797 For my first piece, I will be playing an adaptation of the "Rocky Theme" 1.2657 0.03168 286 223 50 13
1798 This next piece is by John Cage. 1.2657 0.03392 286 229 38 19
1799 And now I will perform “The Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2657 0.03168 286 223 50 13
1800 Piano Sonata No. 3, fortissimo 1.2657 0.03129 286 222 52 12
1801 Any request? 1.2657 0.03365 271 214 42 15
1802 And next, I would like to pound out a tune on my old piano... 1.2657 0.03325 271 213 44 14
1803 A-minor challenge 1.2656 0.03320 256 199 46 11
1804 And now I'd like to play a little sonata of my own composition called "Golden Gloves" in the keys of C through G. 1.2656 0.03105 320 253 49 18
1805 Now, I shall float like a butterfly and sting like the 'Flight of the Bumblebee" 1.2656 0.02842 320 245 65 10
1806 This next piece is by Pugiliski 1.2655 0.02983 290 222 59 9
1807 Oh and Mike Tyson can act? 1.2655 0.03251 290 229 45 16
1808 Ready for this? I’ve decided to give it the old one, two. 1.2655 0.03139 290 226 51 13
1809 Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V 1.2655 0.03168 275 213 51 11
1810 I will now play Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V. 1.2655 0.03210 275 214 49 12
1811 I'd like to dedicate my next number to Muhammad Ali. 1.2654 0.02952 324 252 58 14
1812 Let the first round of the concerto begin. 1.2654 0.03375 260 204 43 13
1813 And now I'd like to play something with absolutely no regard for talent, technique or quite frankly, for any of you my dear audience. 1.2654 0.03079 309 242 52 15
1814 Thank you. And now, this one will just knock you out. 1.2652 0.02830 328 252 65 11
1815 ...and now, "Brahms' Lullaby". 1.2652 0.03298 279 220 44 15
1816 It's just a little number I came up with for Boxing Day this year. 1.2652 0.03298 279 220 44 15
1817 And now, a piece titled "Yo Adrian!" 1.2652 0.03019 313 244 55 14
1818 While I can't put my finger on it, my performances have somehow been a little Rocky lately. 1.2652 0.03296 264 206 46 12
1819 This piano and I haven't been getting along lately... 1.2652 0.03252 264 205 48 11
1820 Tonight's performance is a tribute to Mohammad Ali 1.2652 0.03208 264 204 50 10
1821 Next, one of the biggest hits of Rocky Moninoff. 1.2652 0.03208 264 204 50 10
1822 I love challenges! 1.2651 0.03260 298 237 43 18
1823 Eh, my playing's a little rocky. 1.2650 0.03068 283 218 55 10
1824 One cannot just tickle the ivories with Rachmaninoff. 1.2649 0.03348 268 211 43 14
1825 And now I will pound the hell out of the keys... 1.2649 0.03389 268 212 41 15
1826 The sudden realization of having forgotten to zip. 1.2649 0.03195 302 239 46 17
1827 You say the Rach 3 is difficult? I’ll show you difficult. 1.2648 0.03080 287 222 54 11
1828 Yo Amadeus...I did it. 1.2647 0.03395 272 216 40 16
1829 ‘Some say I am the Mike Tyson of the keys.’ 1.2647 0.03058 272 208 56 8
1830 It helps with the nail-biting. 1.2647 0.02992 306 237 57 12
1831 Now I’ll knock out another song for you. 1.2647 0.03189 272 211 50 11
1832 I don't think I can play pianissimo. 1.2645 0.03036 310 242 54 14
1833 Yo, Elise! I did it! 1.2645 0.02931 310 239 60 11
1834 And now ... The Pugilist of Seville. 1.2645 0.03281 276 217 45 14
1835 And now for my final piece, "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebee." 1.2645 0.03360 276 219 41 16
1836 Next is a song that took Jim Morrison 8 1/2 minutes to sing. I plan to knock it out in 2. 1.2644 0.03101 295 230 52 13
1837 And now, the theme from Rocky IV 1.2644 0.03025 295 228 56 11
1838 I haven't worked out every note on this next piece, but I'm very passionate about it. 1.2644 0.03319 261 204 45 12
1839 Next, I'd like to play the Ali Variations. 1.2643 0.03128 280 217 52 11
1840 Hopefully this will strike a chord with you as it did for me. 1.2643 0.03169 280 218 50 12
1841 I'll knock out one more tune prior to intermission. 1.2643 0.03249 280 220 46 14
1842 I shall now play the Rach Four using only my nose and my elbows. 1.2643 0.03169 280 218 50 12
1843 I will now play Boxmaninoff 1.2642 0.03147 318 253 46 19
1844 Down goes Mozart! 1.2642 0.03413 265 210 40 15
1845 Okay, I guess the gloves aren’t coming off. 1.2642 0.03329 265 208 44 13
1846 I thought I'd punch it up a bit 1.2641 0.03059 284 219 55 10
1847 This is not going to be easy. 1.2641 0.03018 284 218 57 9
1848 This next piece is for AAAAADRIANNNNN. 1.2640 0.03117 303 238 50 15
1849 Oh! Bach? Yes, I suppose that does make more sense. 1.2640 0.03010 303 235 56 12
1850 My next number is the Carpal Tunnel Suite. 1.2639 0.03337 269 212 43 14
1851 Fair warning if you don’t applaud. 1.2639 0.03187 288 226 48 14
1852 Please join me for punch after the concert. 1.2637 0.03262 273 214 46 13
1853 This time I'm going to play something a bit more punchy. 1.2637 0.03136 273 211 52 10
1854 Oh no, they are expecting me to take a bow now and I'm only wearing boxer shorts. 1.2637 0.03220 273 213 48 12
1855 And for my next number, a knockout version of Moonlight Sonata. 1.2637 0.03043 292 226 55 11
1856 Minuet for two thumbs. 1.2637 0.03043 292 226 55 11
1857 And now for a sonata by Serge Rockymaninoff. 1.2637 0.03231 292 231 45 16
1858 Shubert's Piano Sonata No. 21 in B-flat major, Trump technique. 1.2636 0.03518 258 206 36 16
1859 For my next request ... The Boxer by Paul Simon 1.2635 0.03230 277 217 47 13
1860 It was at that moment, Rocky knew he had to give up his dreams. 1.2635 0.03189 277 216 49 12
1861 I just won the first part of the competition but this part is really going to be hard. 1.2635 0.03189 277 216 49 12
1862 The gloves come off when you start clapping. 1.2635 0.03106 277 214 53 10
1863 I will now perform an experimental piece by John Cage. 1.2635 0.03306 296 237 40 19
1864 The Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2635 0.03306 296 237 40 19
1865 Ladies and Gentlemen... Let's get ready to treble. 1.2634 0.03126 262 201 53 8
1866 Get ready for this hit! 1.2634 0.03438 262 208 39 15
1867 And now for Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto in c minor. Better known as Rocky II 1.2633 0.03241 300 239 43 18
1868 Punch it again Sam. 1.2632 0.03001 304 236 56 12
1869 Ladies and gentlemen, let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2632 0.03090 285 221 53 11
1870 This grand is fighting me all the way !!! 1.2632 0.03001 304 236 56 12
1871 Pacquiao's "A Little Fight Music" 1.2632 0.03169 285 223 49 13
1872 ...and now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ 1.2632 0.03090 285 221 53 11
1873 Otherwise I’d just be tickling the ivories 1.2630 0.03242 270 211 47 12
1874 I will now play ‘the Boxer’ written by Simon and Garfunkel! In D flat. 1.2630 0.03284 270 212 45 13
1875 And now, an unusual rendering of "Chopsticks". 1.2629 0.03402 251 197 42 12
1876 Can anyone help me find middle C? 1.2628 0.03328 293 235 39 19
1877 Now here's one that'll really knock your socks off 1.2627 0.03027 316 248 53 15
1878 And now, to reprise Victor Borge's Musical Punctuation... 1.2626 0.02969 297 229 58 10
1879 I'll punch out one more before the break. 1.2626 0.03082 297 232 52 13
1880 This next one is entitled “Eine Kleine Chinmusic” 1.2626 0.03119 297 233 50 14
1881 How about a punchy tune? 1.2626 0.03096 278 215 53 10
1882 He does a great scherzando but he needs a page turner 1.2626 0.03377 278 222 39 17
1883 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Theme from Rocky VII 1.2626 0.03299 278 220 43 15
1884 Knocked out Bethoven's Fifth. 1.2625 0.03162 301 238 47 16
1885 I'm only playing my greatest hits. 1.2625 0.03126 301 237 49 15
1886 I thought you said this was a fight song... 1.2624 0.03267 282 223 44 15
1887 I'm taking requests for fight songs 1.2624 0.03068 282 218 54 10
1888 Staccato, you said? 1.2624 0.03026 282 217 56 9
1889 This piece is called 'Float Like a Butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' 1.2624 0.03068 282 218 54 10
1890 And now a piece from my hit record. 1.2624 0.03068 282 218 54 10
1891 This next song is alittle more up beat. 1.2624 0.03149 282 220 50 12
1892 Chopsticks? Really. 1.2624 0.03162 263 203 51 9
1893 Tickling the ivories is for beginners. This is advanced stuff. 1.2623 0.02919 305 235 60 10
1894 And now in honor of Boxing Day... 1.2623 0.02956 305 236 58 11
1895 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B-sharp. 1.2622 0.03120 286 223 51 12
1896 Next, The Minute Waltz in 30 seconds. 1.2622 0.03159 286 224 49 13
1897 My next piece is the two-fisted Sonata. 1.2622 0.03347 286 229 39 18
1898 and now...Brahms' Second Concerto in Knocked Flat. 1.2622 0.03120 286 223 51 12
1899 I will now perform the Victor Borge Concerto 1.2622 0.03553 267 216 32 19
1900 I shall now play the Concerto No. 2, Opus 18 by Rockymaninoff. 1.2621 0.02895 309 238 61 10
1901 It's me against the music. 1.2621 0.03002 309 241 55 13
1902 My next number is the "beat goes on" 1.2621 0.03091 290 226 52 12
1903 I will now perform a piece by JS Box 1.2621 0.03167 290 228 48 14
1904 Now I know what Theresa May must feel like. 1.2620 0.03396 271 216 39 16
1905 Now a little something called "Float like a Butterfly sting like a Bee" 1.2619 0.03101 294 230 51 13
1906 This next one really packs a punch! 1.2619 0.03063 294 229 53 12
1907 I shall now attempt the dreaded Rachy III 1.2619 0.03175 294 232 47 15
1908 And now something a little more modern: 'The Boxer' by Paul Simon. 1.2618 0.02952 317 247 57 13
1909 Now for the Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2618 0.03158 275 214 50 11
1910 ‘I used to be a contenda’ 1.2618 0.03241 275 216 46 13
1911 How else do you propose I play The Boxer? 1.2617 0.03036 298 232 54 12
1912 Did someone request, The Boxer? 1.2617 0.02999 298 231 56 11
1913 And now, a piece for ill-tempered clavier by Box. 1.2617 0.03181 298 236 46 16
1914 And now for Box' Concerto in D minor. 1.2617 0.03110 298 234 50 14
1915 I have found it difficult to refrain from texting during performances. 1.2617 0.03181 298 236 46 16
1916 Now, for something softer. 1.2616 0.03210 279 219 47 13
1917 My next number is a real knockout, in three rounds. 1.2616 0.03289 302 243 39 20
1918 Now I'm going to play 4'33'' by John Cage 1.2614 0.03192 306 244 44 18
1919 And now for my next selection, “The fight of the bumblebee.”! 1.2614 0.03457 264 211 37 16
1920 Naturally I belt out music. 1.2613 0.02908 287 219 61 7
1921 And now, I'll play a selection of Muhammad Ali's hits. 1.2613 0.03337 287 230 39 18
1922 And now I'd like to perform a mashup in ALL the majors and minors. 1.2613 0.03263 287 228 43 16
1923 Leeeeet's get ready to rhuuuuuumba! 1.2613 0.03062 310 244 51 15
1924 And for my next number, Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" sonata. 1.2612 0.03253 268 210 46 12
1925 The contract stated I was not allowed to "tickle" the ivories 1.2612 0.03338 268 212 42 14
1926 Tonight I will be playing selections from “The Divorce of Figaro”. 1.2612 0.03232 291 231 44 16
1927 And now, "The Boxer" 1.2611 0.03102 314 249 48 17
1928 Now, I'll knock out a number that you all know. 1.2610 0.03178 272 212 49 11
1929 I HAVE TO HANDAL THE NEXT NUMBER WITH KID GLOVES 1.2610 0.03304 272 215 43 14
1930 They say my performance is a knock out. 1.2610 0.03263 272 214 45 13
1931 I hope that some in the audience tonight will be able to distinguish the downbeat versus the beat down. 1.2610 0.03016 295 229 55 11
1932 This one's for you in the box seats. 1.2609 0.03231 276 217 46 13
1933 This final movement, a rondo played in robust fortissimo, delivers a real knockout! 1.2607 0.02890 303 233 61 9
1934 This next selection is an experimental piece by Philip Glass. 1.2607 0.02964 303 235 57 11
1935 I've been fighting through this song for weeks. 1.2607 0.02964 303 235 57 11
1936 It's a knockout tune. 1.2607 0.03035 280 216 55 9
1937 Quite frankly, I’m much more accustomed to pounding on an organ. 1.2607 0.03118 280 218 51 11
1938 And now the overture from the opera 'Rocky' 1.2606 0.02939 307 238 58 11
1939 And now finally Mr. President, a special piece for you -- a little atonal number you might recall, 'One is the Loneliest Number.' 1.2606 0.03322 284 227 40 17
1940 This next piece is sure to be a knockout. 1.2606 0.03090 284 221 52 11
1941 Hook and Jab in D minor by Johann Sebastian Box 1.2606 0.03130 284 222 50 12
1942 For my next number: Tyson's Overture in B-Flat on Your Back. 1.2606 0.03130 284 222 50 12
1943 They complained I was all thumbs. 1.2606 0.03090 284 221 52 11
1944 I will now play the theme song from "Rocky" . 1.2605 0.03172 261 202 50 9
1945 And now, for the 'modern music' portion of our program .... 1.2604 0.03139 288 226 49 13
1946 Float like a butterfly, sing in B. 1.2604 0.03022 288 223 55 10
1947 Next, I will perform 'Rhapsody in Black and Blue' by Deontay Wilde 1.2604 0.03178 288 227 47 14
1948 To increase the degree of difficulty, I will put on a pair of swim fins. 1.2604 0.03327 288 231 39 18
1949 And now, the Muhammad Allegro. 1.2604 0.03399 288 233 35 20
1950 Yo, Adrian! I did it! 1.2603 0.03294 292 234 40 18
1951 I must apologize for the typo in the program. My name is Bang Bang, not Lang Lang. 1.2603 0.03185 292 231 46 15
1952 That bum is going down in the second movement. 1.2602 0.02974 269 205 58 6
1953 Ladies and Gentlemen, Flight of the Bumblebee like you have never heard played before! 1.2602 0.03368 269 214 40 15
1954 And now, I'd like to play "TKO for Two" 1.2601 0.03045 296 231 53 12
1955 They told me, "Knock yourself out!" 1.2601 0.03414 273 219 37 17
1956 And now, for the Flight of the Pugilist. 1.2601 0.03125 273 212 51 10
1957 My finale will be a unique, spirited medley of fight songs. 1.2601 0.03125 273 212 51 10
1958 And now for a little chin music. 1.2601 0.03168 273 213 49 11
1959 And now for my finale, Rope-a-dope fortissimo 1.2601 0.03252 273 215 45 13
1960 I said I was a pugilist not a pianist! 1.2600 0.03127 300 237 48 15
1961 This rendition is going to be a knock out ! 1.2600 0.02981 300 233 56 11
1962 And for my next piece, 'Float like a butterfly, sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2599 0.03179 277 217 48 12
1963 They said I should "punch it up." 1.2599 0.02922 277 211 60 6
1964 My next selection has a familiar ring to it. 1.2599 0.03096 277 215 52 10
1965 Final Fight Scene from Rocky III, in B Flat" 1.2599 0.03455 277 224 34 19
1966 Pianissimo forget about it, Fortissimo I got..... 1.2599 0.02919 304 235 59 10
1967 And now the theme music from Rocky 1.2598 0.03109 281 219 51 11
1968 I will now knock out the theme from Rocky 1.2596 0.03159 285 224 48 13
1969 Here's a little something for those of you who like less definition. 1.2596 0.03159 285 224 48 13
1970 And now, Chopin's Knockout-turne in B minor. 1.2596 0.03011 312 245 53 14
1971 I will now punch out this little tune.. 1.2595 0.03068 262 201 54 7
1972 I shall now play my new composition, 'Lullaby for Mike Tyson'. 1.2595 0.03470 262 210 36 16
1973 And now a little tune from Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2595 0.03385 262 208 40 14
1974 You could say I'm digitally-challenged. 1.2595 0.03243 289 230 43 16
1975 And now The Mike Tyson Overture. 1.2595 0.03206 289 229 45 15
1976 I will be playing pugilist in D Major. 1.2594 0.03131 266 206 51 9
1977 They said make the finale more punchy! 1.2594 0.03131 266 206 51 9
1978 Wait 'til I take the gloves off 1.2594 0.02993 320 252 53 15
1979 What? You told me to pound it out. 1.2593 0.03232 270 212 46 12
1980 And now, a Canto from Ezra Pound. 1.2593 0.03316 270 214 42 14
1981 Staccato? 1.2593 0.03147 297 235 47 15
1982 And now I would like to perform Rocky's 5th. 1.2593 0.03182 297 236 45 16
1983 Would someone from the audience help me find my keys? 1.2593 0.03232 270 212 46 12
1984 This next one’s called “I’m a failure and my wife’s leaving me.” 1.2591 0.03188 301 240 44 17
1985 And now, Rocky's Symphony No. 5 in C minor. 1.2591 0.03072 274 212 53 9
1986 Symphonie Pugiliste? 1.2591 0.03072 274 212 53 9
1987 Here in the final round is the theme from 'Rocky." 1.2591 0.03200 274 215 47 12
1988 My ivories don't like to be tickled. 1.2591 0.03200 274 215 47 12
1989 . . . and now the theme from Rocky 1.2590 0.03368 278 223 38 17
1990 My next number will be "Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2590 0.03290 278 221 42 15
1991 My next piece is the theme from ‘Rocky’! 1.2590 0.03250 278 220 44 14
1992 I will take off the gloves, but I want you to know how it feels to be challenged by Prokofiev. 1.2590 0.03210 278 219 46 13
1993 This next one will be a bit punchier than the last. 1.2590 0.03290 278 221 42 15
1994 Yeah buddy? Come down here, I'll give you discordant notes! 1.2590 0.03128 278 217 50 11
1995 Want to hear a punchy tune? 1.2590 0.03128 278 217 50 11
1996 Did I hear a request for the theme from Rocky? 1.2589 0.02958 309 241 56 12
1997 I can knock out the Minute Waltz in 45 seconds. 1.2589 0.02994 309 242 54 13
1998 '"and now - Franz Listz's My Fisto Waltz" 1.2589 0.03219 282 223 45 14
1999 And now, I would like to play the theme song from the movie, Rocky. 1.2589 0.03372 282 227 37 18
2000 I'd like to close this evening with 'Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2587 0.03375 286 231 36 19
2001 And now my original theme for Rocky. 1.2587 0.03264 286 228 42 16
2002 Lllllllets get ready to rumbaaaaaa! 1.2587 0.03264 286 228 42 16
2003 Sharp or flat? 1.2587 0.03188 286 226 46 14
2004 But you said you wanted a more punchy arrangement! 1.2587 0.03182 259 201 49 9
2005 And now a little piece by Victor Borge. 1.2586 0.03043 290 226 53 11
2006 And now, I give you Punchini's "Madam Sting Like a Butterfly." 1.2586 0.02952 321 252 55 14
2007 The Boxer's Rag, by Slapsie Maxie Mendelssohn. 1.2586 0.03373 263 209 40 14
2008 After I am done here, dis piano will be nuttin but chopstiks 1.2586 0.03151 263 204 50 9
2009 And now I will float through Madame Butterfly and sting into Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2584 0.03253 267 210 45 12
2010 Are you ready to ruuuuumble?!!!!! 1.2584 0.03210 267 209 47 11
2011 Not to mention I've never learned to read music. 1.2584 0.03101 298 235 49 14
2012 Not to brag, but this concerto will be over in one round. 1.2584 0.02794 298 227 65 6
2013 Now for the old one two 1.2583 0.02964 302 235 56 11
2014 This next piece is a big hit! 1.2582 0.03312 275 219 41 15
2015 Would you mind holding your coughing until after the first round? 1.2582 0.03046 306 241 51 14
2016 I've been fighting the urge to play this tune all night long. 1.2581 0.02992 279 215 56 8
2017 And now my rendition of the ham-fisted symphony as inspired by Donald Trump 1.2581 0.03280 279 222 42 15
2018 My next piece will really be a knockout. 1.2581 0.03200 279 220 46 13
2019 ......and in this corner weighing in at 158 pounds in the dark tuxedo, fromVienna, Austria ..... 1.2580 0.03061 314 249 49 16
2020 Let's get ready to r-u-u-u-u-u-mba! 1.2580 0.03049 283 220 53 10
2021 The real problem is my cauliflower ear. 1.2578 0.03140 287 226 48 13
2022 You asked for a heavy hitter! 1.2578 0.03061 287 224 52 11
2023 Gloves come off when they turn up the heat. 1.2578 0.03061 287 224 52 11
2024 ...and to conclude, here is the Welterweight Waltz in B-flat Major. 1.2577 0.03149 291 230 47 14
2025 . . . my own composition, an atonal 'Ode to Donald' . 1.2577 0.03441 260 208 37 15
2026 My next piece is Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2576 0.03529 264 214 32 18
2027 And now, ladies and gentlemen: "'We Will Rock You! 1.2576 0.03405 264 211 38 15
2028 For my next composition, "The ill-tempered clavicle" 1.2576 0.03319 264 209 42 13
2029 This next piece is by Rocky-maninoff. 1.2575 0.03155 268 209 49 10
2030 May I punch out a tune for you? 1.2574 0.03125 272 212 50 10
2031 Okay, it doesn't work for Beethoven, but my Mahler's a knockout! 1.2574 0.03168 272 213 48 11
2032 After 32 variations, I'll be going 12 rounds. 1.2574 0.03253 272 215 44 13
2033 I'm sorry, I only play boxed sets. 1.2572 0.03302 276 220 41 15
2034 Now I'd like to knock out my latest for you! 1.2572 0.03096 276 215 51 10
2035 My next composition is impressionistic with a touch of violence. 1.2570 0.03160 284 224 47 13
2036 And now the punchline! 1.2570 0.03199 284 225 45 14
2037 And now, for my rendition of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2569 0.03130 288 227 48 13
2038 I'm going for a knockout performance of Box Sonata #1. 1.2569 0.03130 288 227 48 13
2039 Next! A college fight song composed by Joe Louis. 1.2569 0.03130 288 227 48 13
2040 I will now perform variations on a famous theme of John Cage. 1.2569 0.03130 288 227 48 13
2041 For my encore I’ll play ‘The Boxer’ by Paul Simon 1.2569 0.03459 253 202 37 14
2042 I don’t take requests. 1.2569 0.02944 327 258 54 15
2043 ...and now,the Rocky Sonata 1.2568 0.02985 292 227 55 10
2044 I'd rather be a boxer at a piano than have a piano in my boxers 1.2568 0.03426 292 239 31 22
2045 Excuse me, this piano needs tuning! 1.2568 0.03036 296 232 52 12
2046 And next a rumble in the ensemble. 1.2568 0.02960 296 230 56 10
2047 In this composition I am honoring the heavy-handed approach of two masters - Wilhelm Richard Wagner and Mohammed Ali. 1.2568 0.02960 296 230 56 10
2048 And now, by request, the theme from "Rocky". 1.2568 0.03147 296 235 46 15
2049 This is how I flatten the flats. 1.2567 0.02896 300 232 59 9
2050 And now for the hook. 1.2566 0.03476 265 214 34 17
2051 Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what I learned from Viktor Borge. 1.2566 0.03130 265 206 50 9
2052 ...and now another Simon and Garfunkel favorite- The Boxer. 1.2566 0.03038 265 204 54 7
2053 Box Symphony is just Bach's Symphony but with a nicer ring to it 1.2566 0.03176 265 207 48 10
2054 My last piece is entitled "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee." 1.2566 0.03160 304 243 44 17
2055 Now one by one of my favorite composers, Sonny Liston. 1.2566 0.02834 304 234 62 8
2056 I have a love- hate relationship with the piano 1.2566 0.02983 304 238 54 12
2057 I hope you find my next number a knock-out. 1.2565 0.03145 269 210 49 10
2058 My next song is about my experience with my stockbroker and his attorney. 1.2565 0.03275 269 213 43 13
2059 Of course I play by the Queensbury rules! 1.2565 0.03189 269 211 47 11
2060 Down an octave goes Frazier! Down an octave goes Frazier! 1.2565 0.02958 308 241 55 12
2061 Welcome to Rocky in E minor 1.2564 0.03200 273 215 46 12
2062 To complete our tribute to the president, I will now play Mueller Said Knock You Out. 1.2564 0.03200 273 215 46 12
2063 Bear with me, I just had a mani-pedi. 1.2563 0.03000 277 214 55 8
2064 Is my playing too aggressive? 1.2563 0.02851 320 249 60 11
2065 I am just a poor boy But my story is seldom told... 1.2563 0.03018 320 254 50 16
2066 And now I shall play Wagner... 1.2562 0.03219 281 223 44 14
2067 With so many notes, it's always a fight to the finish! 1.2562 0.03057 281 219 52 10
2068 I will now play the Joe Louis lullaby. 1.2562 0.02973 281 217 56 8
2069 I’m afraid I can only take requests for something from “The Ring” cycle. 1.2561 0.03030 285 222 53 10
2070 Concerto for Raging Bull in E Minor 1.2561 0.03265 285 228 41 16
2071 For obvious reasons, I will not be performing “Chopsticks’ tonight. 1.2561 0.03159 289 229 46 14
2072 I call it, "Concerto in A-minor Concussion for Graziano and flute." 1.2561 0.03082 289 227 50 12
2073 I’ve been informed that this is a piano. Thank you. 1.2561 0.03234 289 231 42 16
2074 But the maestro said this was a Boxing Day concert. 1.2561 0.03003 289 225 54 10
2075 And now a new medley for those in the audience who are tone deaf 1.2560 0.03130 293 232 47 14
2076 This version of " Flight of the bumble bee" was inspired by the late Cassius Clay. 1.2560 0.03167 293 233 45 15
2077 The starting note is "ding ding ding". 1.2560 0.02977 293 228 55 10
2078 I'm gonna play the Rocky theme. 1.2559 0.03027 297 233 52 12
2079 Next will be the theme from Rocky 1.2558 0.03321 258 204 42 12
2080 So, how does your school’s fight song go?” 1.2558 0.02926 301 234 57 10
2081 For my next number I'll play the Thrilla in Manila Concerto by Frazier. 1.2558 0.03180 301 241 43 17
2082 A special technique is required for the arpeggios. 1.2557 0.03020 309 244 51 14
2083 It's a Cage session. 1.2556 0.03306 270 215 41 14
2084 And now, by your request, the Love Theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2556 0.03221 270 213 45 12
2085 For my last number, Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee 1.2554 0.03159 278 219 47 12
2086 Up next, my classical one-two combo. 1.2553 0.03006 282 219 54 9
2087 Next, my rendition of The Nutcracker. 1.2552 0.03101 286 225 49 12
2088 I regret auditioning for Rocky the Musical 1.2552 0.03101 286 225 49 12
2089 And now, ladies and gentlemen: Für Evander. 1.2552 0.03297 290 234 38 18
2090 This next piece was first performed in Paris in 1913. It was quite controversial for the time, and fights broke out among the audience. 1.2552 0.02954 290 225 56 9
2091 And now I will play Dance Like a Butterfly and Sting Like a Bumblebee by Rimsky Ali 1.2552 0.03261 290 233 40 17
2092 This song goes out to my father. 1.2552 0.03187 290 231 44 15
2093 And now, "Mitten on the Keys." 1.2552 0.03261 290 233 40 17
2094 yeah,well if I could box,do you think I'd be trying to play this thing? 1.2551 0.03120 294 233 47 14
2095 Sorry I'm late, folks! I had to fight my way through traffic. 1.2551 0.03045 294 231 51 12
2096 I'm sorry...did you say you have a request? 1.2550 0.03055 298 235 50 13
2097 Ok, I'm gonna' need an eight count for this next one... 1.2550 0.03164 298 238 44 16
2098 This next piece is from the opera “Don King Giovanni.” 1.2550 0.03092 298 236 48 14
2099 ...and a special thanks to Performers Insurance Co. for finding a way to reduce my premiums. 1.2550 0.03092 298 236 48 14
2100 A little help here? 1.2550 0.02980 298 233 54 11
2101 And now I'd like to pound out a little number from Mozart. 1.2549 0.03038 306 242 50 14
2102 The optional ear plugs are under your seat. 1.2548 0.03011 310 245 51 14
2103 They all laughed when I sat down at the piano... 1.2546 0.03253 271 215 43 13
2104 This one will knock you off your feet. 1.2545 0.03262 275 219 42 14
2105 This next piece is from the Ring cycle. 1.2545 0.03221 275 218 44 13
2106 Whew! Rough house! 1.2545 0.03008 275 213 54 8
2107 And now, Sonata No. 6, by Rockymaninoff 1.2545 0.03149 279 220 47 12
2108 This next piece is titled Füry Elise. 1.2545 0.03230 279 222 43 14
2109 ...and now the band and I would like to punch out a couple of old favorites. 1.2545 0.02981 279 216 55 8
2110 I thought you requested the "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2545 0.03270 279 223 41 15
2111 I need my mouthpiece! 1.2545 0.03149 279 220 47 12
2112 Box Magnificat 1.2544 0.03352 283 229 36 18
2113 This next tune was popular during The Boxer Rebellion. 1.2544 0.02955 283 219 56 8
2114 This piece is in "Stallone staccato". 1.2544 0.02997 283 220 54 9
2115 This is one I call 'Beethoven's 9th Round.' 1.2544 0.03120 283 223 48 12
2116 Yo, Liberace. 1.2544 0.03199 283 225 44 14
2117 Oops. Wrong venue, wrong night. 1.2544 0.02997 283 220 54 9
2118 Sugar Ray Charles 1.2544 0.03039 283 221 52 10
2119 This one is called "The Fight of The Bumble Bee." 1.2544 0.03052 287 225 51 11
2120 It's easier than the violin. 1.2544 0.03169 287 228 45 14
2121 My repertory is limited...I can only play rounds 1.2544 0.03091 287 226 49 12
2122 I will now try Bach-sing. 1.2544 0.03282 287 231 39 17
2123 I want to get the hell home so I'm just going to knock this piece out quickly. 1.2544 0.03130 287 227 47 13
2124 Now, the Beethoven Piano Sonata #8 ‘Pathetique’ as interpreted by Muhammad Ali. 1.2544 0.02887 287 221 59 7
2125 I shall now play the "I AM THE GREATEST" Sonata I composed in memory of Muhammad Ali. 1.2544 0.03130 287 227 47 13
2126 I will now play from Wagner's Ring Cycle. Round One. 1.2542 0.02998 295 231 53 11
2127 The Boxer Rebellion concerto 1.2542 0.03119 299 238 46 15
2128 They're called Chopsticks preventers. 1.2542 0.03190 299 240 42 17
2129 And now our main event – Beethoven's Sonata in C minor, in 12 rounds 1.2542 0.02817 299 230 62 7
2130 Box Fugue in D minor 1.2539 0.02986 319 253 51 15
2131 I'm just going to play a little rope-a-dope until I find middle C. 1.2539 0.03239 256 201 45 10
2132 I wanted to be a boxer, but mother made me take piano lessons. 1.2539 0.02828 323 252 60 11
2133 Clair de lune? What key? 1.2538 0.03160 260 203 48 9
2134 Excuse me, the keys are too small. 1.2538 0.03308 264 210 41 13
2135 And now, for your listening pleasure, I'd like to knock out this little number. 1.2537 0.03100 268 209 50 9
2136 I wouldn't say "tickling the keys" is my style. 1.2537 0.03114 272 213 49 10
2137 The critics all say that anything I might be lacking in finesse, I more than make up for in punch. 1.2537 0.03200 272 215 45 12
2138 I’m not sure Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” is supposed to be played like this.” 1.2537 0.03200 272 215 45 12
2139 And now for a nuanced little mashup I call 'Étude, Sonny Liszton?' 1.2536 0.03211 276 219 44 13
2140 And now in Fortississimo. 1.2536 0.03098 280 220 49 11
2141 And now, Ravel's Piano Concerto in D for Southpaws. 1.2535 0.03228 284 227 42 15
2142 These piece symbolizes both internal and external conflict 1.2535 0.02988 284 221 54 9
2143 Tickling the ivories got old. 1.2535 0.02860 284 218 60 6
2144 Why is this piano out of tune? 1.2535 0.03228 284 227 42 15
2145 And now, I will take Beethoven to the 12th." 1.2535 0.03189 284 226 44 14
2146 And now I'll perform my latest big hit. 1.2535 0.03029 284 222 52 10
2147 Oh. Bach? 1.2535 0.03042 288 226 51 11
2148 It gives the music the right hook 1.2535 0.03272 288 232 39 17
2149 This sonata will knock you out. 1.2534 0.02976 292 228 54 10
2150 Each song will be followed by a 1-minute intermission. 1.2534 0.02976 292 228 54 10
2151 This next piece is a little punchy. 1.2534 0.02791 296 227 63 6
2152 I'm just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told... 1.2533 0.03181 300 241 42 17
2153 For round 1 I will be performing Fight of the Bumble Bee 1.2533 0.03011 304 240 51 13
2154 I shall now bust your Chopsticks. 1.2533 0.03117 304 243 45 16
2155 Tickling the ivories? Uh, no. I don't think so. 1.2532 0.02949 308 242 54 12
2156 I call this next piece,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2532 0.03003 316 251 50 15
2157 And, when the burgers are done , this George Foreman grill turns into a grand piano ." 1.2531 0.02920 324 256 54 14
2158 And now, the impossible: Chopstix! 1.2530 0.03084 328 265 43 20
2159 My current album comes in a boxed set 1.2530 0.03213 253 198 46 9
2160 Don’t Laugh! This will be a knockout! 1.2529 0.03287 261 207 42 12
2161 Sorry, doctor's orders to stop biting my nails." 1.2529 0.03149 261 204 48 9
2162 My next piece will be a Concerto in 15 Movements, or Until the Referee Stops the Concert. 1.2528 0.03306 269 215 40 14
2163 DOWN goes Mahler...DOWN goes Mahler.... 1.2528 0.03178 269 212 46 11
2164 playing piano is nothing compared to getting dressed. 1.2527 0.03360 277 224 36 17
2165 And next, I'll be playing,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2527 0.03159 277 219 46 12
2166 I will now play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2527 0.03241 277 221 42 14
2167 For my encore, Chopin’s lesser-known ‘Mitten Waltz’... 1.2527 0.03200 277 220 44 13
2168 My next selection is Paul Simon's "The Boxer". 1.2527 0.02919 281 217 57 7
2169 It's for your protection and mine. 1.2527 0.03170 281 223 45 13
2170 And now, Variations on Theme From Rocky. 1.2527 0.03170 281 223 45 13
2171 And now, Beethoven’s Right Hook, in D. 1.2526 0.03179 285 227 44 14
2172 What happens in Piano club...stays in piano club. 1.2526 0.03218 285 228 42 15
2173 They laughed when I say down to play. They're not laughing now. 1.2526 0.03149 289 230 45 14
2174 In the spirit of this Holiday Concert, and to celebrate the diversity of the season, I will now perform a special Boxing Day carol. 1.2526 0.03262 289 233 39 17
2175 I thought you said you wanted me to knock out a tune?... 1.2526 0.03072 289 228 49 12
2176 Taking the gloves off is not mentioned in the composer’s original manuscript. 1.2526 0.02967 293 229 54 10
2177 This piece was written for no hands. 1.2526 0.03121 293 233 46 14
2178 This is from my latest box set. 1.2526 0.03006 293 230 52 11
2179 I've never been much of a tickler. 1.2526 0.03158 293 234 44 15
2180 Now I will play for you 'Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2526 0.03231 293 236 40 17
2181 Welcome to Ultimate Piano Club 1.2525 0.03055 297 235 49 13
2182 This next piece needs a little punching up. 1.2525 0.03129 297 237 45 15
2183 My Carpal tunnel's flaring up again. 1.2525 0.02941 297 232 55 10
2184 Louie, Louie" again? Well, if you insist.. 1.2525 0.03055 297 235 49 13
2185 Now for Mozart's Piano Sonata in Sting Like a Bee-Major. 1.2525 0.03092 297 236 47 14
2186 I believe single notes are banal and over-rated. 1.2525 0.03055 297 235 49 13
2187 Are you ready for some chin music 1.2525 0.03065 301 239 48 14
2188 At least I'm no longer "all thumbs" 1.2525 0.03028 301 238 50 13
2189 Now that I've answered my critics, I shall play music from 'Requiem for a Heavyweight' " 1.2525 0.02778 305 235 63 7
2190 And now for a slow rendition of Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2525 0.03142 305 245 43 17
2191 Refunds will be available in the lobby. 1.2525 0.03038 305 242 49 14
2192 I call it Concerto Marciano. 1.2524 0.02832 309 240 60 9
2193 The former champ came to understand his new pursuit required a different set of skills. 1.2520 0.03250 254 200 44 10
2194 Yes, of course I play by ear 1.2520 0.03344 254 202 40 12
2195 Harolds worst nightmare, trying out for the "L.A. PHILHARMONIC" 1.2519 0.03444 258 208 35 15
2196 This evening I will be performing The Hagler-Hearns Concerto No. 2 in Three Rounds. 1.2519 0.03185 262 206 46 10
2197 And for the tenth,and final,round,I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2519 0.03364 262 210 38 14
2198 Let me just punch this number out. 1.2519 0.03286 266 212 41 13
2199 This is why it is called The Unfinished Symphony. 1.2519 0.03199 266 210 45 11
2200 And now for Rockymaniovs's Concerto No. 3 1.2519 0.03154 266 209 47 10
2201 Float like a butterfly, pound on the keys. 1.2519 0.03286 266 212 41 13
2202 This one will knock you out! 1.2519 0.03124 270 212 48 10
2203 And now for a short Roundo by Vladimir Fisticuffski. 1.2519 0.03168 270 213 46 11
2204 And now my musical portrait of Muhamad Ali... 1.2518 0.03180 274 217 45 12
2205 I offer Republican Chopsticks for our times. 1.2518 0.03344 274 221 37 16
2206 I will now punch out the theme from Rocky. 1.2517 0.03051 286 225 50 11
2207 My next piece is John Cage's 4'33 1.2517 0.03051 286 225 50 11
2208 Let’s get ready to rumbaaaaa! 1.2517 0.02969 286 223 54 9
2209 It's a clause in my insurance contract. 1.2517 0.03051 286 225 50 11
2210 At your request, Rocky's Fourth! 1.2517 0.03130 286 227 46 13
2211 My performance will float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2517 0.03252 290 234 39 17
2212 I prefer to pound rather than tickle the ivories! 1.2517 0.02944 290 226 55 9
2213 Are you suggesting there is a problem with my technique? 1.2517 0.03111 294 234 46 14
2214 ...and next I will perform the theme from"Rocky" 1.2517 0.03074 294 233 48 13
2215 This is my warm-up number. 1.2517 0.02878 294 228 58 8
2216 Yo, maestro! 1.2517 0.03046 298 236 49 13
2217 Next, I'll be playing a classic piece by Muhammad Ali. 1.2517 0.03083 298 237 47 14
2218 Once again, Henry was faced with the question: was he a lover, or a fighter? 1.2517 0.03083 298 237 47 14
2219 Tonight I’m going to play The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2517 0.02983 302 238 52 12
2220 Tonight and one night only: Bach-y Balboa! 1.2517 0.03019 302 239 50 13
2221 This next piece is by Sergei Knockyerblockoff. 1.2516 0.02968 310 245 52 13
2222 I was thinking of the President when I wrote this piece, it’s really great. 1.2516 0.03052 318 255 46 17
2223 And now, Mozart's Sonata for middleweight southpaw in A Minor 1.2516 0.02779 318 247 62 9
2224 And now the Symphonic Dances by Rockymaninoff 1.2510 0.03298 259 206 41 12
2225 Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. 1.2510 0.03159 259 203 47 9
2226 And now, Interlude, by Rocky Maninoff. 1.2510 0.03388 259 208 37 14
2227 So! I’m not all thumbs!! 1.2509 0.03200 271 215 44 12
2228 You want me to do what?? 1.2509 0.03293 275 221 39 15
2229 ...and for my next piece, here's 'Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2509 0.03098 279 220 48 11
2230 Here is the musical stylings of the Black Eyed Keys. 1.2509 0.03028 283 222 51 10
2231 Last time this piece got the better of me..... 1.2509 0.03190 283 226 43 14
2232 If anybody shouts, "Yo, Adrian," you will be removed from the premises. 1.2509 0.03150 283 225 45 13
2233 This is how I knock out the hits. 1.2509 0.03069 283 223 49 11
2234 I never wanted piano lessons. 1.2509 0.03110 283 224 47 12
2235 And now Mister President, I shall play the “Minute Waltz” in 47 seconds. 1.2509 0.02960 287 224 54 9
2236 And now, for my grand finale, Fight of the Bumblebees 1.2509 0.03081 287 227 48 12
2237 For my next performance I'd like to punch out a little ditty. 1.2509 0.02975 291 228 53 10
2238 I'm thrilled to finally reach the "Knock-Out Round" of this prestigious competition. 1.2509 0.02975 291 228 53 10
2239 next round's on me... 1.2508 0.03064 295 234 48 13
2240 And now, "Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee" 1.2508 0.03026 295 233 50 12
2241 Who knew playing "The Boxer" would prove this challenging ? 1.2508 0.03102 295 235 46 14
2242 I would like to begin my Simon and Garfunkel medley with “The Boxer”. 1.2508 0.02830 295 228 60 7
2243 And my next piece will be "Uppercut in D Minor" 1.2508 0.03074 299 238 47 14
2244 I will now play the Rachmaninoff Prelude in A through G minor. 1.2508 0.03110 299 239 45 15
2245 And now, variations on a theme by Marciano. 1.2508 0.02885 299 233 57 9
2246 And in this corner...Rocky Rachmaninoff !!! 1.2508 0.03255 303 247 36 20
2247 And now: Box Fugue in D Major. 1.2508 0.03020 307 244 49 14
2248 Just in case I get in treble while playing. 1.2508 0.02959 311 246 52 13
2249 Play it again, but this time make it punchier! 1.2508 0.02877 319 251 56 12
2250 You should hear me play the zither. 1.2500 0.03104 272 214 48 10
2251 Tonight I only play music from the Rocky films. 1.2500 0.02935 284 221 55 8
2252 No,I said I was going to play the “flight” of the bumblebee ! 1.2500 0.03170 280 223 44 13
2253 It was The Boxer Rebellion in C Sharp Minor. 1.2500 0.03158 292 234 43 15
2254 It would be best if you sang in rounds. 1.2500 0.02929 304 239 54 11
2255 Here’s a little number I made popular back in my club days 1.2500 0.03100 284 225 47 12
2256 I call this composition, 'Hey Kids, Get Away From The Piano!' 1.2500 0.03133 268 211 47 10
2257 Any problem? Meet me outside! 1.2500 0.03210 280 224 42 14
2258 Well, I only minored in music. My degree is in the martial arts. 1.2500 0.03148 260 204 47 9
2259 I tried facing the music but got hit with a one two. 1.2500 0.03218 284 228 41 15
2260 This isn't quite what I thought they meant by "dueling pianos". 1.2500 0.03044 292 231 49 12
2261 We're trying for a new demographic 1.2500 0.03227 256 202 44 10
2262 And now, “glovesticks”. 1.2500 0.03367 256 205 38 13
2263 And now, my unique version of "Sock It ToMe! 1.2500 0.03060 272 213 50 9
2264 Get ready for something punchy. 1.2500 0.03088 312 251 44 17
2265 This one has a very catchy hook” 1.2500 0.03147 272 215 46 11
2266 Below the belt? I'm not even using the pedals. 1.2500 0.03164 264 208 46 10
2267 Well, you said to punch it up a bit." 1.2500 0.02949 268 207 55 6
2268 In the future, there will be fewer nuances. 1.2500 0.02916 312 246 54 12
2269 They wanted me to stop tickling the ivories 1.2500 0.03100 284 225 47 12
2270 I will now play selections frrom "The Ring Cycle ". 1.2492 0.03011 313 250 48 15
2271 ...And by special request, I'll be playing the theme to "Rocky". 1.2492 0.03019 301 239 49 13
2272 Agreed--but wait till you hear my double glissando. 1.2492 0.02970 297 234 52 11
2273 I shall now perform Basie's Down For The Count. 1.2492 0.02853 297 231 58 8
2274 For my next number, I will play Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar. 1.2491 0.03073 293 233 47 13
2275 You were expecting maybe the guy with the candlabra? 1.2491 0.03023 289 228 50 11
2276 This is not, what I had in mind for dueling pianos ! 1.2491 0.03062 289 229 48 12
2277 I guess I'll just roll with the punches 1.2491 0.03010 285 224 51 10
2278 And in this corner, coming in at 5'10" and 155 pounds, his C major will bring you off your seat, the pianist from Vienna... 1.2491 0.02968 285 223 53 9
2279 My next selection will be from the Ring Cycle 1.2491 0.03037 281 221 50 10
2280 That’s OK! I’m all thumbs anyways! 1.2491 0.02952 281 219 54 8
2281 Tonight, you will hear me pound the keys like I've never done before. 1.2491 0.03231 277 222 41 14
2282 Rachmaninov: Piano Concerto No.2 as adapted by Rocky Marciano 1.2491 0.03107 277 219 47 11
2283 Ladies and Gentlemen, Wagner's 'Ring Cycle.' 1.2491 0.03107 277 219 47 11
2284 And now, Muhammad Ali's "Float of the Butterfly" 1.2491 0.03296 269 216 39 14
2285 Now a little something from Wagner’s “Ring of the Mittelveight”. 1.2491 0.03061 265 207 50 8
2286 Some consider my interpretation to be aggressive 1.2491 0.03286 265 212 40 13
2287 At least wait for the hook. 1.2490 0.02944 261 201 55 5
2288 The next song I will be performing is sure to be a knockout. 1.2490 0.03320 261 209 39 13
2289 Just a little something I put together for the Boxing Day annual concert. 1.2490 0.03216 257 203 44 10
2290 It's 'Chopsticks' but with a 3.2 degree of difficulty. 1.2484 0.03011 318 255 47 16
2291 And now for the main event... 1.2484 0.02792 314 245 60 9
2292 Paderewski? I'll moider de bum! 1.2484 0.03029 310 248 47 15
2293 For the boxed set. 1.2484 0.03029 310 248 47 15
2294 Okay, who wants to hear some Mahler? 1.2483 0.03153 302 244 41 17
2295 But first, Rockymaninoff’s ‘The Pugilist’s Prelude‘ . 1.2483 0.03188 302 245 39 18
2296 And for my next piece, I’ll need the assistance of someone in the audience, preferably the abusive guy in the corner... 1.2483 0.02923 298 234 54 10
2297 And in this corner.......Liszt-loving, Bach-breaking, Mozart-mauling .....two-handed "Steinway Tommy Tune"!! 1.2483 0.03110 298 239 44 15
2298 The next composition is John Cage's "Music for Muhammad Ali". 1.2483 0.03014 290 229 50 11
2299 And for my next piece; 'Rocky V' in A minor. 1.2483 0.03130 290 232 44 14
2300 Shut the fuck up. 1.2483 0.03422 290 240 28 22
2301 For my encore, the theme from 'Rocky.' 1.2483 0.03081 286 227 47 12
2302 And now a piece from Wagner's lesser-known Boxing Ring Trilogy. 1.2483 0.03198 286 230 41 15
2303 I thought you requested a Box Trot! 1.2483 0.03041 286 226 49 11
2304 I've always considered Schubert a challenge. 1.2482 0.03027 282 222 50 10
2305 It's called dueling piano. 1.2482 0.02969 278 217 53 8
2306 My next number, a sing-along, is also a round . 1.2482 0.03084 274 216 48 10
2307 Guess I grabbed the wrong bag at the airport 1.2481 0.03200 270 215 43 12
2308 Now my interpretation of Simon & Garfunkel's The Boxer. 1.2481 0.03023 270 211 51 8
2309 For my next number, "Baby It's Cold Outside. 1.2481 0.03605 262 217 25 20
2310 Now, for a more muscular piece. 1.2481 0.02934 262 202 55 5
2311 He got hit pretty hard, i think he has a Percussion 1.2481 0.03396 262 212 35 15
2312 And now for my rather unique rendition of Beethoven's 5th 1.2476 0.02902 319 253 53 13
2313 I thought you said "bach". 1.2476 0.02879 311 245 55 11
2314 This is my interpretation of Wagners "Ring" Cycle. 1.2475 0.03001 303 241 49 13
2315 Live at the Apollo Creed 1.2475 0.03173 299 242 40 17
2316 Now, I will wear my Bach-sing gloves. 1.2475 0.03129 295 237 43 15
2317 Perhaps my tribute to Boxing Day was ill-informed. 1.2475 0.02900 295 231 55 9
2318 My next selection is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata in three rounds. 1.2474 0.02866 287 223 57 7
2319 What do you mean I am off key? 1.2473 0.03140 283 226 44 13
2320 I hope you like my version of a song made famous by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2473 0.03003 279 219 51 9
2321 It's my way of conveying the world's dissonance. 1.2473 0.03170 279 223 43 13
2322 Before I start, are there any complaints about the program? 1.2473 0.03210 279 224 41 14
2323 Knockout in the fifth movement. 1.2473 0.03290 279 226 37 16
2324 I shall now play "Flight of the Sting Like A Bee." 1.2473 0.03170 279 223 43 13
2325 This next piece is from the opera 'Bin Nacht aut'. 1.2473 0.03201 275 220 42 13
2326 Now here's the main theme from Rocky. 1.2473 0.02941 275 214 54 7
2327 The judges had warned Marcel that his habit of picking his nose between sets made the other contestants uneasy. Yet their solution seemed harsh....and made it difficult for him to compete. 1.2472 0.03232 271 217 41 13
2328 For my next number, I'd like a stool, a mouthpiece and a round girl from the audience.... 1.2472 0.03146 271 215 45 11
2329 For my next piece I will play "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2472 0.03177 267 212 44 11
2330 Lie-la-lie... lie-la-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie... 1.2471 0.03469 263 215 31 17
2331 I will now play some of Beethoven's VERY early works. 1.2471 0.03298 263 211 39 13
2332 Float like a butterfly, sting on the keys. 1.2471 0.03147 259 204 46 9
2333 And here's my rendition of Boxing Matilda. 1.2471 0.03178 255 201 45 9
2334 Sorry, was I a little flat? 1.2470 0.03161 251 197 46 8
2335 This next number is inspired by the life of Mike Tyson. 1.2468 0.02952 316 252 50 14
2336 I'll now play a little-known Wagner piece, "The Boxing Ring." 1.2468 0.02895 308 243 54 11
2337 And more, much more than this, I did it Steeeiiinway. 1.2468 0.02783 308 240 60 8
2338 It adds a little punch to my Bach.. 1.2467 0.02919 304 240 53 11
2339 It is so damn hard to follow my dreams simultaneously. 1.2467 0.03064 304 244 45 15
2340 This one is called "Saved by the Bell" 1.2467 0.02906 300 236 54 10
2341 Can somebody give me a hand? 1.2467 0.02906 300 236 54 10
2342 I'm afraid I've boxed myself into a corner with this concerto. 1.2467 0.02666 300 230 66 4
2343 Every hit song needs a memorable left hook. 1.2466 0.02811 296 230 59 7
2344 Rachmaninov wasn't challenging enough. 1.2466 0.03192 296 240 39 17
2345 Next up is Rachmaninoff’s little known submission for the "Theme from Rocky" 1.2466 0.03186 292 236 40 16
2346 Did I hear a request for “Chopsticks”? 1.2466 0.03111 292 234 44 14
2347 I’d think twice about criticizing my playing” 1.2466 0.02996 292 231 50 11
2348 And now, Rocky-maninoff! 1.2465 0.03022 288 228 49 11
2349 I will perform ‘Variations on a theme by Liston’ composed by Ali. 1.2465 0.03062 288 229 47 12
2350 ...and the Fourth Movement: "graziano ma non marciano." 1.2465 0.03022 288 228 49 11
2351 For my next piece :"The fight of the Bumblebee 1.2465 0.02967 284 223 52 9
2352 I hope you enjoy this punchy little number. 1.2464 0.03160 280 224 43 13
2353 And now, the theme from Rocky, with a salute to Victor Borge. 1.2464 0.03119 280 223 45 12
2354 This composition is called 'The Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2464 0.03160 280 224 43 13
2355 I have chosen to play The Marquess of Queensberry's First Piano Sonata in A Minor. 1.2464 0.03160 280 224 43 13
2356 ...And now the theme from Raging Bull 1.2464 0.03107 276 219 46 11
2357 I'm going to dedicate this next song to the back row. 1.2463 0.03179 272 217 43 12
2358 I only perform once a year - On Boxers Day. 1.2462 0.03242 264 211 41 12
2359 You will each find a pair of ear plugs under your seat. 1.2462 0.03415 264 215 33 16
2360 I will now play Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer”. 1.2462 0.03230 260 207 42 11
2361 I call this one "It's hard to sexually assault someone when you can't unzip your fly". (Louis C.K. 2019 Comeback Tour) 1.2461 0.03050 321 260 43 18
2362 Intermission will be in three minutes. 1.2461 0.03216 256 203 43 10
2363 Tickling the ivories" is so last century 1.2460 0.03344 252 202 38 12
2364 My next piece will attempt to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2460 0.02899 313 248 53 12
2365 Tonight I'll be playing the theme from Rocky XVII. 1.2460 0.03003 313 251 47 15
2366 I call it "Pounding on the keys like a goddamned Ape.' 1.2459 0.02984 305 243 49 13
2367 Without these I’m all thumbs! 1.2459 0.02984 305 243 49 13
2368 For tonight's performance, I will be playing 'Rocky's Theme Song' in D Minor. 1.2459 0.03368 244 195 38 11
2369 Once you hear this next song composed by Cassius Clay you will know why he changed his name to Mohammed Ali 1.2458 0.03118 301 243 42 16
2370 And now ladies and gentlemen, you may remove the complimentary earplugs. 1.2458 0.02935 301 238 52 11
2371 Chopin's “Etude in G# minor Has always been a battle for me... 1.2458 0.03010 301 240 48 13
2372 And now, one of my own compositions! 1.2458 0.03010 301 240 48 13
2373 let me punch out a few of my hits 1.2458 0.03111 297 239 43 15
2374 What's funny? 1.2458 0.02961 297 235 51 11
2375 I’d like to dedicate this next number to the inspirational Muhammad Ali. 1.2458 0.02961 297 235 51 11
2376 I will now play, Float Like A Butterfly,Sting like a Bee. 1.2458 0.03074 297 238 45 14
2377 I wear them because these ivories are so ticklish. 1.2457 0.03025 293 233 48 12
2378 Ladies and Gentleman, Bachy Balboa! 1.2457 0.02986 293 232 50 11
2379 Would Ed Sullivan have loved this, or what! 1.2457 0.03053 289 230 47 12
2380 And now, Pummel in Fugue in 5 rounds 1.2457 0.02973 289 228 51 10
2381 Is this the "sting like a bee" part? 1.2456 0.02958 285 224 52 9
2382 I call it the “Butterfly Sonata”, in the key of Sting-Like-a-B. 1.2456 0.03199 285 230 40 15
2383 I really like to belt out a song. 1.2456 0.03026 281 222 49 10
2384 I will now do my performance art version of "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2454 0.03083 273 216 47 10
2385 My stylist says it helps the nail polish last longer. 1.2454 0.03083 273 216 47 10
2386 You said pianoforte, didn’t you? 1.2454 0.03169 273 218 43 12
2387 They work better on the kettle drums 1.2454 0.03112 269 213 46 10
2388 Next, my own composition: "The Ring." 1.2454 0.03200 269 215 42 12
2389 You want me to bang this one out, don't you? 1.2454 0.03156 269 214 44 11
2390 This next piece is something I like to call "Dueling Piano." 1.2453 0.02936 318 254 50 14
2391 Now, " I would like to play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2452 0.02994 314 252 47 15
2392 And now, the theme for Rocky XVII 1.2452 0.02891 314 249 53 12
2393 I call this `Broken Piano`. 1.2452 0.03173 261 207 44 10
2394 I have a request from Agnes for a punchy tune 1.2452 0.02915 310 246 52 12
2395 of course I'm wearing a cup 1.2452 0.03054 310 250 44 16
2396 Which one is Middle C? 1.2451 0.03081 306 247 43 16
2397 And now, Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer." 1.2451 0.02902 306 242 53 11
2398 Let's get ready to Rachmaninoff! 1.2451 0.03150 306 249 39 18
2399 Now for tonight’ s last request : BADDA-BING, BADDA -BANG. 1.2450 0.03037 302 242 46 14
2400 For my finale I will play a new composition titled "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." 1.2450 0.03221 249 197 43 9
2401 I will now perform "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.2450 0.02874 298 234 55 9
2402 I'm going to punch up this next number a bit. 1.2450 0.02913 298 235 53 10
2403 And now I will play my homage to John Cage. 1.2450 0.02952 298 236 51 11
2404 I will now play the theme song from "Requiem for a Heavy Weight. 1.2449 0.02938 294 232 52 10
2405 Looks like we have a music critic in the audience! 1.2449 0.03016 294 234 48 12
2406 And now, a variation on ‘Flight of the Bumble Bee,’ I like to call, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee!’ 1.2449 0.03092 294 236 44 14
2407 This next number is called 'Fists of Fury'. 1.2449 0.03092 294 236 44 14
2408 Here's a Gershwin favorite that really knocks me out... 1.2448 0.03043 290 231 47 12
2409 In my next piece ... I will float like the "Butterfly", sing like a bee. 1.2448 0.03043 290 231 47 12
2410 Now I will play something a little softer. 1.2448 0.03043 290 231 47 12
2411 This is the only way to fight through Bach! 1.2448 0.03289 241 191 41 9
2412 I will now be playing the theme to ‘Rocky’. 1.2448 0.03031 286 227 48 11
2413 I call this next piece, “The Stomping Elephant” 1.2448 0.03071 286 228 46 12
2414 I didn't literally mean "I would punch out a tune" 1.2448 0.02949 286 225 52 9
2415 And now, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s little known composition, “Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like The Flight of The Bumblebee”. 1.2447 0.03099 282 225 45 12
2416 I hope you enjoy tonight's concert. It is a real knockout 1.2447 0.02975 282 222 51 9
2417 These are to prevent me from “tickling the ivories”.... 1.2446 0.02712 327 256 62 9
2418 ‘And now for a tribute to Mohammed Ali.” 1.2446 0.02914 278 217 54 7
2419 They said this piece was a sure knock-out 1.2445 0.03116 274 218 45 11
2420 We're going to pick up the pace. For the next number, I'm going to play something a little more punchy. 1.2445 0.02984 274 215 51 8
2421 As my hero said, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Flight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2445 0.02984 274 215 51 8
2422 My next number will be 'Kitten On the Keys.' 1.2445 0.03323 274 223 35 16
2423 I was told to give the ivories a good pounding. 1.2444 0.03232 270 217 40 13
2424 I’d like to punch out a few tunes from my new CD. 1.2444 0.02919 270 210 54 6
2425 For my next selection I shall perform for you Mozart's Rope-a-Dope Concerto in E minor. 1.2444 0.03189 270 216 42 12
2426 I’ll do the next song a cappella. 1.2444 0.03176 266 212 43 11
2427 Some football players do ballet in the off-season, I do this 1.2444 0.03131 266 211 45 10
2428 Hey, it's boxing day! 1.2444 0.03221 266 213 41 12
2429 And finally, Marciano’s Scherzo per Due Pugni 1.2442 0.03193 258 205 43 10
2430 FOR HIT SONGS ONLY 1.2442 0.03193 258 205 43 10
2431 For my encore, a knockturne by Sullivan... John L., 1.2441 0.03092 299 241 43 15
2432 And now for my grand finale, I shall perform my very special rendition of that classic Simon and Garfunkle hit, "The Boxer." 1.2441 0.02905 299 236 53 10
2433 And now, AADRIAANNN!..in C minor. 1.2441 0.03120 295 238 42 15
2434 And now, a new composition for Boxing Day. 1.2441 0.03045 295 236 46 13
2435 This next piece requires a soft touch 1.2441 0.03007 295 235 48 12
2436 Good evening, Palookaville. Before I begin the Mussorgsky, it is imperative you understand that I coulda been a contender. 1.2440 0.02955 291 230 51 10
2437 Now I will perform Rocky Maninoff's Conflicto #13 in Duh-Minor. 1.2440 0.03073 291 233 45 13
2438 My next piece is “Float like a butterfly” 1.2440 0.03034 291 232 47 12
2439 I'm putting a new spin on a John Cage classic 1.2440 0.03034 291 232 47 12
2440 Please ring the bell in the key of E. 1.2440 0.02832 291 227 57 7
2441 Don’t make me take the gloves off. 1.2440 0.02955 291 230 51 10
2442 This next piece is called “STELLA!!!!!!!” in D minor. 1.2439 0.02981 287 227 50 10
2443 And now, all three rounds of Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ 1.2439 0.02981 287 227 50 10
2444 Rachmaninoff's Third is in for the fight of its life. 1.2439 0.03021 287 228 48 11
2445 Ladies and gentlemen, the kangaroo is off for the night. 1.2439 0.03101 287 230 44 13
2446 I thought you said "_Box_ Sonata"! 1.2438 0.03170 283 228 41 14
2447 I will now play the Muhammad Ali Amadeus concerto the way it was intended. 1.2438 0.03049 283 225 47 11
2448 This is just cruel. 1.2437 0.03050 320 260 42 18
2449 Standing up....in a hammock, if you must know. 1.2437 0.03240 279 226 38 15
2450 OK Beethoven, lets rumble 1.2437 0.03035 279 221 48 10
2451 Because this next piece was too easy for me . . . 1.2437 0.03077 279 222 46 11
2452 I always wanted to beat the band. 1.2436 0.03148 275 220 43 12
2453 I’m gonna float like Madame Butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebees! 1.2436 0.03148 275 220 43 12
2454 For my finale, I will perform: "Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee." 1.2436 0.03037 312 252 44 16
2455 How about “Flight of the Elephant”? 1.2436 0.03003 312 251 46 15
2456 I will now perform Box Prelude in C Major 1.2435 0.03135 271 216 44 11
2457 And now, a musical tribute to the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2435 0.02958 308 246 49 13
2458 Let's get ready to Rachmani-noffffff!" 1.2435 0.03029 308 248 45 15
2459 Now I'd like to punch out a little number for you. 1.2434 0.02947 304 242 50 12
2460 My next piece is an original composition entitled "Elephant on the Keys" 1.2434 0.02834 304 239 56 9
2461 And now for 'Float like a butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' in A minor 1.2432 0.02998 296 236 48 12
2462 Did someone move my spit bucket? 1.2432 0.02960 296 235 50 11
2463 and now a number from my boxed collection" 1.2432 0.02960 296 235 50 11
2464 And we start our session with Chopin’s “Barcarrolle in F Sharp Jab to the Right. 1.2432 0.02938 259 201 53 5
2465 And now, ‘Chopsticks.’ 1.2432 0.03025 292 233 47 12
2466 I’d like to slow things down a bit. Then speed back up. Then a left. A right. Another left... 1.2432 0.03101 292 235 43 14
2467 Da ,da, da, daaa! 1.2431 0.03214 255 203 42 10
2468 It's going to be a Wagner piece. 1.2431 0.03169 288 233 40 15
2469 And now for your listening displeasure, I will pound the ivories. 1.2430 0.03120 284 228 43 13
2470 And now an obscure piece by Rocky Mannicoff... 1.2429 0.02935 317 254 49 14
2471 I now know what they mean when They say; my written answers to Mueller’s questions were akin to that of a child playing the piano wearing boxing gloves. 1.2429 0.03025 280 222 48 10
2472 I always wear these when I play the theme song from Rocky. 1.2428 0.03053 276 219 47 10
2473 Now I’ll play a fugue by Mohammed Ali 1.2428 0.03180 276 222 41 13
2474 When do I take the fall? After the first glissando? 1.2428 0.02920 276 216 53 7
2475 I've had a difficult time choosing a profession. 1.2428 0.03009 276 218 49 9
2476 Since I’m in between rounds, there is only enough time to play Chopin’s Minute Waltz. 1.2426 0.02992 272 214 50 8
2477 And now, an evening of glissandos. 1.2426 0.03211 272 219 40 13
2478 And now, as I like to put it, I’m gonna go a few rounds with Ludwig van. 1.2425 0.03019 268 211 49 8
2479 And now, the Thrillah in Manillah 1.2424 0.03027 297 238 46 13
2480 Maybe this piano's out of tune. 1.2424 0.03186 264 211 42 11
2481 And now I present to you: knuckle-sandwich, in C minor. 1.2424 0.03027 297 238 46 13
2482 Last, here's my rendition of that old favorite: "There's a Bull in the China Shop." 1.2424 0.02989 297 237 48 12
2483 ...And in this corner weighing in at 1086lbs 1.2424 0.02912 297 235 52 10
2484 I'd like to start tonight's Jerry Lee Lewis tribute with an old favorite 1.2424 0.02873 297 234 54 9
2485 Sorry, I only take requests from the box seats. 1.2424 0.02989 297 237 48 12
2486 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, a work by J.S. Box. 1.2424 0.02989 297 237 48 12
2487 Well you said I should attack the music! 1.2423 0.02731 293 227 61 5
2488 In my next lesson video I will demonstrate more secrets of my patented technique for avoiding repetitive injury, carpal tunnel syndrome, and tendonitis. 1.2423 0.03264 260 209 39 12
2489 Tonight I'll be playing "Rumble in the Jungle." 1.2422 0.02880 289 227 54 8
2490 And now, Michael Tyson's piano concerto number one in D minor... 1.2422 0.03003 289 230 48 11
2491 Here's a new song that'll really knock you out 1.2422 0.02962 289 229 50 10
2492 This next piece is my rendition of Simon & Garfunkle's, The Boxer. 1.2422 0.03120 289 233 42 14
2493 'Chop Sticks.' Why? 1.2422 0.03082 289 232 44 13
2494 This one is called ‘Sonata in ABCDEFG’ 1.2421 0.03150 285 230 41 14
2495 Let's get ready to Rondoooooo! 1.2421 0.03110 285 229 43 13
2496 This recital will last 12 rounds, or until I’m knocked out 1.2421 0.03070 285 228 45 12
2497 I'm a student of Sugar Ray and Ray Charles. 1.2420 0.03219 281 228 38 15
2498 You might recognize this Paul Simon cover 1.2419 0.03043 277 220 47 10
2499 I am about to play Rockymaninoff’s Symphonic Dances 1.2418 0.02966 306 245 48 13
2500 While my scales may have suffered, my arpeggios are to die for! 1.2418 0.02930 306 244 50 12
2501 In this next Mixed Martial Arts bout my opponent is J S Bach 1.2418 0.03072 306 248 42 16
2502 I asked for box seats. 1.2418 0.02982 273 215 50 8
2503 This next number is why I am known as the best pound-for-pound pianist in this town. 1.2418 0.02982 273 215 50 8
2504 Raging Beethoven.” 1.2418 0.03071 273 217 46 10
2505 This is a selection from Rockmyblokoff’s Opus 3, B-flat major, better known as The Pugilist Symphony. 1.2418 0.03158 273 219 42 12
2506 ...and this next piece is sure to be a knock out! 1.2417 0.03028 302 243 45 14
2507 I glissando like a butterfly and trill like a bee! 1.2416 0.03145 269 215 43 11
2508 This next piece is called, "Good Enough for Government Work." 1.2416 0.03018 298 239 46 13
2509 When you don't have time to change between your part-time jobs. 1.2415 0.03175 265 212 42 11
2510 And now I will play Chopin’s Preludes all at once! 1.2415 0.03084 265 210 46 9
2511 This one's called, "Ode to Joe" 1.2415 0.02967 294 234 49 11
2512 It needs a good tune up. 1.2415 0.03006 294 235 47 12
2513 And now "The sting of the bumblebee" by Rimsky-Korsakov-Ali. 1.2415 0.03157 294 239 39 16
2514 I hope you enjoy the tunes I am about to knock out for you. 1.2415 0.02967 294 234 49 11
2515 My next piece is called the "Lamotta Cantata 1.2415 0.02848 294 231 55 8
2516 My next piece is called "Requiem for a Boxer." 1.2415 0.03006 294 235 47 12
2517 And now more favorites from the life of Joe Louis! 1.2414 0.02952 319 257 47 15
2518 It's the only way I can play the score to any of the Rocky movies. 1.2414 0.02994 290 231 48 11
2519 And now I'd like to play Black and Blue Suede Shoes 1.2414 0.02994 290 231 48 11
2520 A serenade for Boxing Day. 1.2414 0.02913 290 229 52 9
2521 I punched up the composition a little. 1.2414 0.03066 261 206 47 8
2522 Manilla Thrilla" in B flat 1.2414 0.03033 290 232 46 12
2523 And now something with a bit more punch, Rocky's theme. 1.2414 0.02830 290 227 56 7
2524 This next piece is a banger. 1.2413 0.02943 315 253 48 14
2525 Let me bang out some notes. 1.2413 0.02838 315 250 54 11
2526 I only play bareknuckle at dive bars 1.2413 0.03077 315 257 40 18
2527 Let me know if you don't like this one. 1.2413 0.02766 315 248 58 9
2528 Beats me. 1.2413 0.02977 315 254 46 15
2529 ...and finally, by Johann Sebastian Box... 1.2413 0.03100 286 230 43 13
2530 Please hold your applause until you count to ten. 1.2413 0.03020 286 228 47 11
2531 And now my rendering of a little ditty I wrote, ‘Thrilla in Manila’. 1.2412 0.03192 257 205 42 10
2532 The melody I'm about to play will knock you out! 1.2412 0.02933 311 249 49 13
2533 You requested more punch? 1.2411 0.02921 282 222 52 8
2534 And now for my rendition of Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2411 0.03325 282 232 32 18
2535 Wait, so you meant Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer? 1.2411 0.02964 282 223 50 9
2536 Now, from the original score, ‘The Boxer’. 1.2411 0.03006 282 224 48 10
2537 Vote for me to "Make Music Great Again". 1.2410 0.03063 307 249 42 16
2538 No worries. The piano's prepared. 1.2410 0.02957 307 246 48 13
2539 Sorry folks I’m all thumbs today 1.2410 0.03033 278 221 47 10
2540 I'll take these off after my first piece and I guarantee you're going to love the rest of my performance. 1.2410 0.03240 278 226 37 15
2541 And now for my best combination. 1.2409 0.02754 303 237 59 7
2542 Believe me, it helps with the fortissimo, but not with the piano. 1.2409 0.02832 303 239 55 9
2543 And now, my own composition,"Le Cantique de George Foreman." 1.2409 0.02927 274 215 52 7
2544 As an encore, I will preform all 31 Goldberg Variations within 42 seconds. 1.2409 0.03061 274 218 46 10
2545 This is for the critic who called me ham handed 1.2409 0.02881 274 214 54 6
2546 And now for my next number, the theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2408 0.02933 299 238 50 11
2547 I call this one Too Many Notes 1.2407 0.03221 270 218 39 13
2548 Float Like a Tchaikovsky, sting like a Beethoven 1.2407 0.03090 270 215 45 10
2549 I prefer to punch out a tune 1.2407 0.02953 270 212 51 7
2550 Next, a lively rendition of Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2407 0.02879 295 233 53 9
2551 I'm still fighting my fear of learning to play the piano 1.2407 0.03035 295 237 45 13
2552 Time to punch out a new tune. 1.2407 0.03184 295 241 37 17
2553 The next concerto is twelve 3-minute movements with 2 minutes of rest between movements. 1.2406 0.03165 266 213 42 11
2554 Wait till I get to the hook. 1.2406 0.03165 266 213 42 11
2555 And now, the Lumbering Death Throes of the Bumble Bee 1.2406 0.03165 266 213 42 11
2556 I can assure you - you've never heard chopsticks as I am about to perform it! 1.2405 0.03139 291 236 40 15
2557 My next tune will be The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2405 0.02863 291 229 54 8
2558 I'll be playing "Mitten on the Keys" 1.2405 0.03150 262 209 43 10
2559 I'm taking a dive in the 9th symphony. 1.2405 0.03286 262 212 37 13
2560 You told me to punch it up a bit. 1.2404 0.02970 287 228 49 10
2561 I managed to learn to text with these, now onto playing the piano! 1.2404 0.03011 287 229 47 11
2562 The melody of modern politics. 1.2404 0.02924 312 250 49 13
2563 And now, I will once again play the theme from Jaws 1.2403 0.03038 283 226 46 11
2564 I fought my whole life to get on a stage like this! 1.2403 0.02997 283 225 48 10
2565 This next song is a real knockout. 1.2402 0.03261 254 204 39 11
2566 I can’t play today, I am feeling a little punchy 1.2402 0.03355 254 206 35 13
2567 Let's get ready to treble! 1.2401 0.03066 279 223 45 11
2568 Next time you clap or somebody gets hurt. 1.2401 0.02981 279 221 49 9
2569 My ‘knockturno’ interpretation is quite dramatic. 1.2400 0.02963 275 217 50 8
2570 This next piece is called "I am the greatest" and is dedicated to Muhammad Ali 1.2400 0.02962 300 240 48 12
2571 Now I will play my Sonata for Boxing Day. 1.2400 0.03302 275 225 34 16
2572 For my next piece, please enjoy 'Mama Said Knock You Out' in B-Flat. 1.2400 0.03051 275 219 46 10
2573 Welcome to dueling pianos. 1.2400 0.03073 300 243 42 15
2574 I could play this with one hand tied behind my back. 1.2399 0.02911 296 235 51 10
2575 And now a tribute to Sylvester Stallone. 1.2399 0.02988 296 237 47 12
2576 Tonight, on America's Got Talent, Thumbs Noodleman will punch out some Beethoven. 1.2399 0.03167 271 218 41 12
2577 Ladies & Gentlemen...Wolf Gang Amadeuuuuuuus Mozart ! 1.2397 0.03017 267 211 48 8
2578 I only play power ballads. 1.2396 0.02985 313 253 45 15
2579 Ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest we prepare ourselves to rumble? 1.2396 0.02836 288 226 55 7
2580 This next piece is a bit more raucous. 1.2396 0.02920 288 228 51 9
2581 It took me a while to get the right hook. 1.2396 0.02836 288 226 55 7
2582 Float like a butterfly, play like a ham. 1.2395 0.03045 263 208 47 8
2583 When we get to the Chopin, I'll take the gloves off. 1.2395 0.03139 263 210 43 10
2584 Now, a tribute to the Rocky movies. 1.2395 0.02976 309 249 46 14
2585 Are you ready to rumba? 1.2394 0.03110 284 229 42 13
2586 I'll now play the overture from 'Rocky' in B flat on your back. 1.2394 0.03029 284 227 46 11
2587 I float like a butterfly and sting like the key of B. 1.2394 0.03149 284 230 40 14
2588 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to try something I don't usually do. Simon & Garfunkel's 'The Boxer'. 1.2394 0.03217 259 208 40 11
2589 Welcome to my Nightmare Sonata! 1.2393 0.02854 305 242 53 10
2590 And now for my most recent composition, a reverential homage entitled "Beethoven's Fists" 1.2393 0.02929 305 244 49 12
2591 Next I'll be performing Dance Like a Butterfly, Sting Like the Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2393 0.03142 305 250 37 18
2592 Yo Adrian... this nex numbers fur you! 1.2393 0.02965 305 245 47 13
2593 It was in tune when I bought it. 1.2393 0.02699 305 238 61 6
2594 I will now perform Trump's Minuet in F flat minor. 1.2393 0.03259 280 229 35 16
2595 L-l-l-l-l-let's get ready to Rachmaninof-f-f-f-f!!! 1.2393 0.03219 280 228 37 15
2596 Thank you. This next piece floats like a butterfly but stings like a bee. 1.2392 0.02954 301 241 48 12
2597 Next, a punchy little tune that will ring your bell. 1.2392 0.02991 301 242 46 13
2598 Sorry. I only play Bartok. 1.2392 0.03064 301 244 42 15
2599 A new Sonata called 'Float like a Butterfly and sting like a Bee. 1.2391 0.03127 276 222 42 12
2600 I dare anyone to say that I am all thumbs. 1.2391 0.03127 276 222 42 12
2601 I call it "Flight of the Pugilist". 1.2391 0.02782 297 233 57 7
2602 I should have put more thought into this career change. 1.2390 0.03114 272 218 43 11
2603 Jetzt, eine kleine Kampfmusik. 1.2390 0.03114 272 218 43 11
2604 Fortissimo? Fortissimo is for lightweights! 1.2389 0.02966 293 234 48 11
2605 This next piece was composed by the great Muhammad Ali. 1.2389 0.03044 293 236 44 13
2606 Ladies and Gentlemen, this part of the score needs to be punched up a bit. 1.2389 0.02886 293 232 52 9
2607 They told me it was harassment to tickle them, so I have to wear these. 1.2389 0.03044 293 236 44 13
2608 I think you'll all recognize this next little number 1.2388 0.02952 289 230 49 10
2609 It's about playing to your strengths. 1.2388 0.02952 289 230 49 10
2610 I play like Duke Ellington and hum like a bee! 1.2386 0.02851 285 224 54 7
2611 Ladies and gentlemen, a punchy little melody... 1.2386 0.02978 285 227 48 10
2612 I could of been a contender instead of the bum of pianist I am. 1.2386 0.02936 285 226 50 9
2613 This concert comes as a boxed set 1.2385 0.03015 260 205 48 7
2614 And now I'd like to play for you Paul Simon's "The Boxer". 1.2385 0.03112 260 207 44 9
2615 You ain't heard nothin yet 1.2385 0.03159 260 208 42 10
2616 Whaddya mean it hasn’t been tuned? 1.2384 0.03326 281 232 31 18
2617 This next one's going to be a knock-out. 1.2384 0.03005 281 224 47 10
2618 He'd do anything for a hit song 1.2384 0.03129 281 227 41 13
2619 Si, let me pound out a few tunes for you. 1.2384 0.03047 281 225 45 11
2620 And now my signature THREE SECOND WALTZ. 1.2384 0.02869 302 240 52 10
2621 Flogging the ivories 1.2383 0.03238 256 206 39 11
2622 Don't play it again, Sam. 1.2383 0.03075 277 222 44 11
2623 This next piece is by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2383 0.03075 277 222 44 11
2624 IT'S OK, I TUNED IT WITH THESE ON. 1.2383 0.02944 277 219 50 8
2625 Please Ma. I'll never play with myself again. 1.2383 0.03159 277 224 40 13
2626 And now for my "Boxer Rebelion Overture #1 1.2383 0.02970 298 239 47 12
2627 This piece is known for its uppercutsio. 1.2383 0.02970 298 239 47 12
2628 This next piece is in two-fists time. 1.2382 0.02806 319 254 54 11
2629 Ladies & Gentlemen, Theme from Rocky 12 in F Major. 1.2382 0.02876 319 256 50 13
2630 I'm doing a Victor Borge! 1.2381 0.03110 294 239 40 15
2631 The gloves, sir, are to protect my hands. 1.2381 0.03189 273 221 39 13
2632 For the person who keeps requesting Paul Simon’s “The Boxer”... 1.2381 0.02957 294 235 48 11
2633 I call this one "Sting like a Bee". 1.2379 0.02815 311 247 54 10
2634 I float like Chopin and sting like Mozart 1.2379 0.03023 290 233 45 12
2635 I don't know why I can't hit that last note. 1.2378 0.02948 307 247 47 13
2636 My next piece will be played on this Steinway that has never been touched by human hands. 1.2378 0.02969 286 228 48 10
2637 Management wanted me to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2378 0.02969 286 228 48 10
2638 For my next song, I will be playing the theme from Rocky I. 1.2378 0.03050 286 230 44 12
2639 Who tuned this damn thing anyway? 1.2378 0.03090 286 231 42 13
2640 As an encore I'll now play the Notre Dame Fight Song. 1.2377 0.03340 265 217 33 15
2641 Now this won't be easy. 1.2376 0.02936 303 243 48 12
2642 Now for the crescendo! 1.2376 0.03078 282 227 43 12
2643 Before I begin, if you are wondering why the boxing gloves, you will find out first if you take a call before this concert ends. 1.2375 0.03241 261 211 38 12
2644 Next my own composition,"Mitten on the Keys". 1.2375 0.03098 320 264 36 20
2645 I will now play the Mike Tyson sonata no.3 in knocked flat opus 12 round 5. 1.2375 0.03073 299 243 41 15
2646 I am pleased to open tonight’s Masochist Society gala with a special performance of “Flight of the Bumble Bee”. 1.2374 0.03107 278 224 42 12
2647 Yo, Tchaikovsky! 1.2374 0.03065 278 223 44 11
2648 This next composition is written to go nine rounds. 1.2374 0.02935 278 220 50 8
2649 It's only available as a boxed set. 1.2374 0.02979 278 221 48 9
2650 You may notice me pounding the keys tonight with a little more punch than usual, folks. 1.2374 0.03083 257 204 45 8
2651 Tonight's performance will be included as part of my holiday box set. 1.2374 0.03180 257 206 41 10
2652 And now, from Wagner's Ring Cycle.... 1.2372 0.03220 274 223 37 14
2653 As you probably guessed, the next piece is the soundtrack from "Rocky." 1.2372 0.03093 274 220 43 11
2654 Yea, just pounding out a new tune. 1.2372 0.03093 274 220 43 11
2655 I used to play the violin but I find the piano a lot easier. At least I don’t drop it. 1.2372 0.03053 312 255 40 17
2656 Adrian! 1.2371 0.03053 291 235 43 13
2657 My guess is this job switch is working out better for me than my partner. 1.2371 0.02974 291 233 47 11
2658 This next piece is a bit John-Cage-meets-Muhammad-Ali. 1.2370 0.03123 270 217 42 11
2659 Next, I would like to play my rendition of "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue". 1.2370 0.02903 308 247 49 12
2660 I will begin with a selection from Beethoven; move to a piece from Chopin, and end with some knockout jazz. 1.2369 0.02959 287 229 48 10
2661 And now my personal rendition of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2368 0.02852 304 242 52 10
2662 I was hoping they’d help me hit the right notes. 1.2368 0.03153 266 214 41 11
2663 I said I could play Rachmaninov, NOT Rocky Marciano! 1.2367 0.03027 283 227 45 11
2664 I'd like to dedicate this next song to Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2367 0.03068 283 228 43 12
2665 I shall now float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2367 0.03228 283 232 35 16
2666 Fortissimo! 1.2367 0.03329 245 198 36 11
2667 And now, The Ring Cycle for Dummies, in twelve rounds. 1.2367 0.02953 300 241 47 12
2668 ...and now:Beethoven's Hammerklavier sonata. 1.2366 0.03091 262 209 44 9
2669 I just punched out this next piece. 1.2366 0.03012 279 223 46 10
2670 And now for the ever-popular theme from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ... 1.2366 0.03055 279 224 44 11
2671 Sorry, I'm late. My last gig ran long. 1.2365 0.03314 241 194 37 10
2672 And the winner by judges decision after 8 rounds is... Steinway. 1.2365 0.02978 296 238 46 12
2673 Please excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m fighting a cold tonight. 1.2365 0.02978 296 238 46 12
2674 This will sound a little more like a concerto grosso. 1.2364 0.02799 313 249 54 10
2675 If you don’t like how I’m playing, come up here so we can discuss it! 1.2364 0.02996 275 219 47 9
2676 I will now play the Third Round of the Moonlight Sonata, Presto Agitato. 1.2364 0.03083 275 221 43 11
2677 This modern stuff is a real pain in the ass. 1.2364 0.03168 275 223 39 13
2678 It’s a bit gimmicky but I have to pay the rent. 1.2364 0.02996 275 219 47 9
2679 This will be my first concert in the percussion section. 1.2364 0.03168 275 223 39 13
2680 And next, Muhammad Ali's favorite, Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2363 0.03120 292 238 39 15
2681 I am just a poor boy .... 1.2361 0.02950 288 230 48 10
2682 What can I say? When I play "The Boxer" I have to get into character. 1.2361 0.03031 288 232 44 12
2683 My next selection will be "The Death of the Bumblebee>" 1.2361 0.02919 305 245 48 12
2684 This is Sugar Ray Leonard's Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor. 1.2360 0.03231 267 217 37 13
2685 Rocky-maninoff Piano Concerto No. 2 you say? 1.2360 0.03142 267 215 41 11
2686 The final piece of the evening is Piano Concerto no.1, in multiple keys, "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" by Mr Michael Tyson. From his Magnum Opus, " You better clap!" 1.2360 0.03231 267 217 37 13
2687 For my next tune, similar to the first, a bunch of noise produced from banging on the keys. 1.2359 0.03018 284 228 45 11
2688 I’d like to close with The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2359 0.03099 284 230 41 13
2689 This last movement is quite the knock-out. 1.2357 0.03080 263 210 44 9
2690 Here's a chord progression within the circle of fists. 1.2357 0.03351 263 216 32 15
2691 Now I shall play my version of Box Concerto. 1.2357 0.03087 280 226 42 12
2692 They don't respond well to tickling..... 1.2357 0.03082 297 242 40 15
2693 I give you Rockymaninoff piano sequel III. 1.2355 0.03110 259 207 43 9
2694 And now my rematch with Rachmaninov. 1.2355 0.02986 276 220 47 9
2695 And now, Box Prelude and Fugue in C Major. 1.2355 0.03030 276 221 45 10
2696 And in this corner, our returning, dueling piano champion 1.2355 0.02942 276 219 49 8
2697 And for my next knockout performance... 1.2355 0.03116 276 223 41 12
2698 Ladies and gentlemen, you'll be glad to know that I'm about to play John Cage's '4'33'. 1.2355 0.03147 293 240 37 16
2699 My next piece is critic-proof. 1.2355 0.02995 293 236 45 12
2700 Forget Horowitz. I am the greatest! 1.2353 0.03102 272 219 42 11
2701 Welcome to the atonal music festival! 1.2353 0.03102 272 219 42 11
2702 I will now play Ode to Ali. 1.2353 0.02873 306 245 50 11
2703 Hey, it's like my piano teacher, Mickey, once told me: "You'll be able to spit notes, kid. You're gonna eat sonatas and you're gonna crap concertos. You're gonna become a very musical person." 1.2353 0.03141 255 204 42 9
2704 And now, from the Manassa Mahler, “The Heavyweight Requiem 1.2353 0.02941 289 231 48 10
2705 „And now something little more progressive!“ 1.2353 0.02900 289 230 50 9
2706 I thought you said “Box Art of Fugue.” 1.2353 0.03139 289 236 38 15
2707 I promise you, you’ll be instantly hooked. 1.2351 0.02897 302 242 49 11
2708 I went to a prizefight and a sonata broke out. 1.2351 0.02897 302 242 49 11
2709 Just so you know, I’m all thumbs. 1.2351 0.02972 302 244 45 13
2710 I'm going to float like a butterfly on Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2351 0.03089 285 231 41 13
2711 And now my Rocky overture 1.2351 0.03089 285 231 41 13
2712 This next song is known for it's hook. 1.2351 0.03049 285 230 43 12
2713 My final encore: our college fight song 1.2351 0.02948 268 212 49 7
2714 This next nocturne is scheduled for 10 rounds. 1.2351 0.03041 268 214 45 9
2715 I can’t eat with chopsticks either. 1.2351 0.03132 268 216 41 11
2716 'Introducing Baroque-y Balboa' 1.2349 0.02783 315 251 54 10
2717 Okay, so my dare is to knock out a few tunes. 1.2349 0.02883 298 238 50 10
2718 You should see what I'm wearing below the belt. 1.2349 0.02843 298 237 52 9
2719 And now, the very challenging LaMotta Sonata in F minor 1.2349 0.02863 281 222 52 7
2720 You requested Roberto Duran Duran? 1.2349 0.02993 281 225 46 10
2721 My music packs a real punch. 1.2349 0.02993 281 225 46 10
2722 For my first piece, chopsticks. 1.2349 0.03036 281 226 44 11
2723 No, this is not a variant of the Suzuki Method; it is pure Tyson. 1.2348 0.03208 264 214 38 12
2724 This next number I shall now do on you is "Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2348 0.03252 264 215 36 13
2725 And now - my interpretation of a Paul Simon classic. 1.2348 0.03252 264 215 36 13
2726 It helps me keep a beat. 1.2347 0.02986 294 237 45 12
2727 And now, the Mohammad Ali Sonata in G minor. 1.2347 0.02907 294 235 49 10
2728 It would be unethical of me to wager, but Las Vegas has it 3:1 for Prokofiev. 1.2347 0.03106 277 224 41 12
2729 And the beat goes on. 1.2347 0.03106 277 224 41 12
2730 And now for something pugilistic, in A minor. 1.2347 0.02933 277 220 49 8
2731 As a composer, I have become fascinated with tone clusters. 1.2347 0.02977 277 221 47 9
2732 And now, "Fight of the Bumble, Sing Like a Bee". 1.2346 0.03418 260 215 29 16
2733 The ivories tickle me. 1.2346 0.03240 260 211 37 12
2734 How does the Fight Song go? 1.2346 0.03391 243 198 33 12
2735 Étude No. 1 in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G, by my 18 months old son. 1.2345 0.03052 290 235 42 13
2736 And now ladies and gentlemen the Ali Fraser concerto 1.2345 0.02807 290 229 54 7
2737 Rachmaninoff always makes me punchy. 1.2345 0.02973 290 233 46 11
2738 My next piece is the Muhammad Ali arrangement of ‘4’33” ’. 1.2345 0.03012 290 234 44 12
2739 Okay. Let's do this one in the keys of ABC and D. 1.2344 0.03135 273 221 40 12
2740 I think I came to the wrong auditorium. 1.2344 0.03048 273 219 44 10
2741 Any Requests? Anything but "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2343 0.03000 303 246 43 14
2742 I am leaving. I am leaving. 1.2343 0.02851 303 242 51 10
2743 Our next number will be a three minute score titled - Pound of flesh. 1.2343 0.02916 286 228 49 9
2744 In the spirit of the times, I'm now going to play a little ditty I've tentatively titled: "Who Gives a Fuck Anymore?" 1.2343 0.03119 286 233 39 14
2745 I make no excuses. 1.2342 0.02938 269 213 49 7
2746 Concerto no. 10! 9! 8!, 7!..... 1.2341 0.02913 299 240 48 11
2747 How thoughtful, she gave me mittens to play "Baby it's Cold Outside." 1.2341 0.03063 299 244 40 15
2748 Punchdrunk, am I? Keep smiling like that and you'll lose those 88 teeth!" 1.2340 0.02984 282 226 46 10
2749 Next, I'm going to try to pound out Liszt's Campanella. 1.2340 0.03026 282 227 44 11
2750 My next song will be a cappella 1.2340 0.03067 282 228 42 12
2751 This is it. Time to take the kid-gloves off. 1.2340 0.02870 312 251 49 12
2752 Fortissimo is my forte 1.2340 0.03106 265 213 42 10
2753 Say again, Bach or box? 1.2340 0.03106 265 213 42 10
2754 I will now play... with your expectations. 1.2340 0.03060 265 212 44 9
2755 Need a fellow to punch out a party tune? I'm your man." 1.2339 0.02898 295 236 49 10
2756 Yo, Beethoven -- I did it! 1.2339 0.02777 295 233 55 7
2757 Apologies to those who thought they were going to hear Bach. 1.2338 0.02967 278 222 47 9
2758 For my next number: Here's Conti's Theme from "Rocky." 1.2338 0.03137 278 226 39 13
2759 Can you please give me a hand? 1.2338 0.03011 278 223 45 10
2760 It is a sonata for Boxing Day, in B flat. 1.2338 0.02878 278 220 51 7
2761 And now Rocky Maninoff’s Suite in 12 Rounds 1.2338 0.03179 278 227 37 14
2762 I will now play my tribute to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." It's a knockout! 1.2338 0.02966 308 250 44 14
2763 And I thought tying my bow tie was hard! 1.2337 0.02882 291 232 50 9
2764 It may sound a little rough, but I'd like to play something new for you tonight. 1.2336 0.03173 244 195 41 8
2765 That was the 'pianissimo.' 1.2336 0.02842 304 243 51 10
2766 A knock out performance of Rhapsody in Black and blue.... all 15 rounds 1.2336 0.02955 304 246 45 13
2767 Who forgot to tune this piano? 1.2335 0.03070 257 205 44 8
2768 Sock it to mi? 1.2334 0.02948 287 230 47 10
2769 And now for some improvisational jabs. 1.2333 0.02881 270 213 51 6
2770 And now I will knock out the rest of the ring cycle 1.2333 0.02929 270 214 49 7
2771 And now, a new and different arrangement of Brahm's Lullaby. 1.2333 0.03312 240 194 36 10
2772 Good evening. Let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2333 0.03017 300 244 42 14
2773 I have sensitive hands 1.2333 0.02980 300 243 44 13
2774 I'm more of a "tackle the ivories" kind of guy 1.2333 0.02929 270 214 49 7
2775 I will now play Piano Concerto round 12. 1.2333 0.03021 270 216 45 9
2776 Thank you. My next piece is "Piano as Percussion Instrument in 3 Rounds - TOPS!" 1.2333 0.03198 270 220 37 13
2777 This next piece is titled 'I Could Have Been (a Contender)'." 1.2333 0.03090 300 246 38 16
2778 I told the Times critic I would knock the hell out of that Rachmaninoff concerto! 1.2332 0.03016 283 228 44 11
2779 And now from my modern version of the Nutcracker, here is "Melee of the Sugar Plum Faries." 1.2332 0.03058 283 229 42 12
2780 Are you ready to crescendo? 1.2332 0.03098 283 230 40 13
2781 This next number is a heavyweight with an uppercut in D minor Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.2331 0.02887 326 265 46 15
2782 I'm going to give this baby a pounding. 1.2331 0.02850 296 236 51 9
2783 This next little number is called "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." 1.2331 0.03006 296 240 43 13
2784 And now for my next number--The Fight of the Bumblebees. 1.2331 0.03118 296 243 37 16
2785 I will now float like Madam Butterfly then sting with the Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2331 0.02968 296 239 45 12
2786 Now for my rendition of the theme from Rocky. 1.2331 0.03003 266 212 46 8
2787 Hello everybody, my name is Wolfgang Amadeus Balboa. 1.2331 0.03049 266 213 44 9
2788 They said if I wanted a raise, the gloves had to come off. 1.2330 0.02914 279 222 49 8
2789 Someone found my privilege and ability offensive. 1.2329 0.02874 292 233 50 9
2790 John Cage is a dead man. 1.2328 0.03351 262 216 31 15
2791 Quite frankly, I’ve had quite enough of tinkling the keys 1.2328 0.02909 305 246 47 12
2792 Who said pound it 1.2327 0.03028 275 221 44 10
2793 It's my newest composition. I call it "Float Like a Butterfly". 1.2327 0.03157 275 224 38 13
2794 My last recital ended in a TKO in the sixth round. 1.2327 0.03028 275 221 44 10
2795 And now I will attempt to go twelve rounds with the piano. 1.2327 0.03028 275 221 44 10
2796 This is a new one: Rhapsody in Trump 1.2327 0.03072 275 222 42 11
2797 And now, "Eine Kleine Kampfmusik". 1.2326 0.02791 331 267 51 13
2798 And now, Round 3. 1.2326 0.02857 301 241 50 10
2799 Who is my opponent? 1.2326 0.02857 301 241 50 10
2800 Now I know how the Democrats feel! 1.2326 0.02971 301 244 44 13
2801 As a former boxer, I will play the next piece in my favorite key. B flat. 1.2326 0.02934 301 243 46 12
2802 Yes, I am a heavyweight musician. 1.2325 0.02919 271 215 49 7
2803 Uppercut in D Minor aka Straight To The Moonlight Sonata 1.2324 0.03246 284 235 32 17
2804 You see, the score calls for fortississississimo. 1.2324 0.02965 284 228 46 10
2805 Float like a Puccini, sting like a Rimsky-Korsakov...? 1.2324 0.03454 241 198 30 13
2806 Playing Stravinsky is always a battle, but this time I win! 1.2324 0.02742 340 274 53 13
2807 And now to play the same song softly. 1.2323 0.02766 310 247 54 9
2808 I shall now demonstrate that my piano coach was right. 1.2321 0.03117 280 228 39 13
2809 And now, from the masterful soundtrack of Rocky. 1.2321 0.02992 280 225 45 10
2810 At least I'm not all thumbs! 1.2321 0.02905 280 223 49 8
2811 Hitting the right notes. 1.2321 0.02905 293 235 48 10
2812 You'd wear boxing gloves too, if you slammed your hands in a Grand Piano. 1.2320 0.02788 306 244 53 9
2813 I will now preform Sting of the Bumblebee 1.2319 0.03115 263 212 41 10
2814 Hope you like this punchy number. 1.2319 0.03105 276 224 40 12
2815 And now, for my Jerry Lee Lewis segment. 1.2319 0.03105 276 224 40 12
2816 I have a request to play the Rocky Theme Song. 1.2318 0.02889 289 231 49 9
2817 My next piece is by Schoenberg. 1.2318 0.03051 289 235 41 13
2818 And now for something a bit more light-weight. 1.2318 0.02731 302 239 56 7
2819 This one's from "Rocky: the Musical." 1.2317 0.02845 315 254 49 12
2820 Who says I'm not playing it myself? 1.2317 0.03419 259 215 28 16
2821 Fortissimo Piano. 1.2316 0.02766 272 213 55 4
2822 Here's the hook. 1.2316 0.03091 272 220 41 11
2823 Here is my bellicose rendition of Chopin. 1.2316 0.02956 285 229 46 10
2824 Let me punch out a few bars for you. 1.2315 0.02950 298 241 45 12
2825 And now for a change of pace, the Pugilist's Polka. 1.2315 0.02793 298 237 53 8
2826 Can I skip the black keys? 1.2315 0.02832 311 250 50 11
2827 I hate encores. 1.2313 0.03024 281 227 43 11
2828 Rockymaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Pugilism. 1.2313 0.03188 281 231 35 15
2829 I'll take requests for fight songs 1.2313 0.02780 307 245 53 9
2830 For my next number, please prepare to have your socks knocked off 1.2313 0.02818 307 246 51 10
2831 My next offering is "Tempest in a Trump-pot" in F#*@ Major. 1.2313 0.03036 307 252 39 16
2832 Bring it on, Chopin. I'm ready. 1.2313 0.02929 307 249 45 13
2833 Pugilist or Pianist? You decide. 1.2313 0.02929 307 249 45 13
2834 And now, Rocky's Piano Concerto No. 2. 1.2312 0.02780 320 257 52 11
2835 Float like Madama Butterfly, Sting like an in-flight bumblebee, I Am The Greatest, Since Tchaikovsky 1.2311 0.03158 251 202 40 9
2836 I had some minor injuries, but now I'm Bach and better than ever 1.2311 0.03328 264 218 31 15
2837 For my encore, a little-known work by Rimsky-Korsakov: "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bumblebee." 1.2311 0.02962 264 210 47 7
2838 It's called 'The Sting of the Bumble Bee.' 1.2310 0.03095 277 225 40 12
2839 This is my own interpretation of Cage's 4'33". 1.2310 0.02965 277 222 46 9
2840 Beethoven's got two chances, slim and none. And slim just left town." 1.2310 0.03002 290 235 43 12
2841 and now, the ever popular 'Mitten on the Keys' 1.2310 0.02962 290 234 45 11
2842 Anyone else want voice an opinion of my interpretation of the Grieg concerto? 1.2310 0.02954 303 246 44 13
2843 For my encore, a little piece from the Pugilistic period. 1.2310 0.02837 316 255 49 12
2844 Now for your enjoyment, "Take that, Steinway!" 1.2308 0.02824 312 251 50 11
2845 And now I will close with the Boxer's Lullaby." 1.2308 0.02939 260 206 48 6
2846 Pound for pound, I'd say Tchaikovsky. 1.2308 0.02864 299 240 49 10
2847 This next songs gonna be a real Knockout! 1.2308 0.02864 299 240 49 10
2848 Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Bruiser; he's boxing with white cotton gloves. 1.2305 0.02920 308 250 45 13
2849 This next number is a new piece I wrote, Below the Belt in B-Flat. 1.2305 0.03005 295 240 42 13
2850 And now . . . the theme song from "Rocky." 1.2305 0.02973 282 227 45 10
2851 For my next selection, I present an avant-garde version of Chopsticks. 1.2305 0.02973 282 227 45 10
2852 Float like a butterfly, sting like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2305 0.02886 282 225 49 8
2853 I call this “Float like a butterfly, flight of the bumblebee.” 1.2305 0.03056 282 229 41 12
2854 I was advised to attack Schumann’s Toccata in C Major Op. 7! 1.2305 0.02842 282 224 51 7
2855 And now for the Box Set? 1.2305 0.03307 256 210 33 13
2856 Pound for pound, the number one pianist in the world. 1.2303 0.02982 304 248 42 14
2857 It’s the theme from “Rocky.” 1.2303 0.02832 304 244 50 10
2858 Let's get rrready to bumble! 1.2303 0.02982 304 248 42 14
2859 Progressing from the precision of atonal construction.... 1.2303 0.02945 304 247 44 13
2860 I learned this next number from Joe Louis Armstrong. 1.2303 0.02908 304 246 46 12
2861 I will now improvise in the French manner. 1.2302 0.03071 291 238 39 14
2862 No worries...there only two keys 1.2302 0.02912 291 234 47 10
2863 left jab, right cross, left hook, arpeggio. 1.2302 0.02956 278 223 46 9
2864 Now I’d like to play music from The Ring. 1.2302 0.03185 265 216 37 12
2865 And now, with your gracious indulgence, I'd like to bang out a new composition." 1.2302 0.03000 265 212 45 8
2866 I shall now play the timeless classic, ‘Moonfight Sonata’’, by the great Sugar Bee Thoven. 1.2302 0.03140 265 215 39 11
2867 I intend to knock out this song in very short measure. 1.2302 0.03047 265 213 43 9
2868 I'm preparing a Boxing Day concert for the royal family. 1.2300 0.02779 313 251 52 10
2869 This is how I played Rachmaninov's 2nd when I fooled Penn and Teller. 1.2300 0.02932 300 243 45 12
2870 They're so I don't bite my nails. 1.2300 0.02894 300 242 47 11
2871 For my final piece this evening, I will be performing Beethoven's Piano Concerto No.5, his 'Emperor,' this time moving away from the sweat style of Sugar Ray Leonard to the awe inspiring stamina and knockout artistry of Rocky Marciano. 1.2300 0.02853 287 229 50 8
2872 First, Sting like a Bee followed by Float like a Butterfly 1.2300 0.02937 287 231 46 10
2873 I am really going to knock this one out! 1.2299 0.02982 274 220 45 9
2874 I'll never bet again... never 1.2299 0.03156 274 224 37 13
2875 You seen me float like a butterfly - now here's my Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2299 0.03262 261 214 34 13
2876 This piano murdered my father. 1.2299 0.03170 261 212 38 11
2877 And now, my new arrangement of “Baby It’s Cold Outside “ 1.2298 0.02764 309 247 53 9
2878 I doubt that my challenger, Mr. Cage, could last four minutes and thirty-two seconds, let alone thirty-three... 1.2298 0.02801 309 248 51 10
2879 I've really boxed myself into this corner. 1.2297 0.02996 296 241 42 13
2880 I can't hold or play chopsticks. 1.2297 0.02958 296 240 44 12
2881 Thank you so much. Next, I'd like to play the theme from Rocky. 1.2297 0.02919 296 239 46 11
2882 And now i will perform, the one note samba 1.2297 0.02798 296 236 52 8
2883 The glissandos are killers. 1.2297 0.03047 283 230 41 12
2884 CHOPSTICKS? THAT'S YOUR REQUEST? CHOPSTICKS! 1.2297 0.03087 283 231 39 13
2885 It's the only way to play The Boxer Rebellion Symphony in D Flat." 1.2297 0.02921 283 227 47 9
2886 They call me Beathoven 1.2296 0.03009 270 217 44 9
2887 And now for a lights out encore! 1.2295 0.02944 292 236 45 11
2888 And now, my latest composition, "Blammo, blonk, blonk." 1.2294 0.02902 279 223 48 8
2889 For my encore, I will play the 1812 Overture 1.2294 0.02857 279 222 50 7
2890 I'd like to close with a medley of Jack White's greatest hits. 1.2293 0.02990 266 213 45 8
2891 Next, I shall play a new edition of John Cage's 4'33".... 1.2293 0.03018 314 259 38 17
2892 Next I will preform a piece composed by Rocky Balboa. 1.2292 0.03136 253 204 40 9
2893 The next tune is a round. 1.2292 0.03136 253 204 40 9
2894 The next piece is titled 'Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2292 0.02768 301 240 53 8
2895 And now, the Rocky theme song. 1.2292 0.03071 301 248 37 16
2896 Sam, don't play it again. 1.2292 0.03128 288 237 36 15
2897 Next up: 'Flight of the Stumblebum' 1.2292 0.02887 288 231 48 9
2898 I would describe my relationship with Debussy as tumultuous. 1.2291 0.03060 275 223 41 11
2899 Tonight, it's just me versus Mozart. 1.2291 0.02972 275 221 45 9
2900 Now my classical reinterpretation of Mama Said Knock You Out. 1.2291 0.03060 275 223 41 11
2901 I can now play five songs at once. 1.2290 0.02903 310 252 45 13
2902 Now for something a bit more heavyweight 1.2290 0.02756 310 248 53 9
2903 I'm prepared to knock you out if you ask me to play 'Piano Man' one more time... 1.2290 0.02830 297 238 50 9
2904 Let's get ready to rumbaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 1.2290 0.02830 297 238 50 9
2905 eat your heart out, Jerry Lee Lewis 1.2289 0.03218 249 202 37 10
2906 For my encore, I shall attempt to destroy all the BLACK keys! 1.2289 0.03118 284 233 37 14
2907 For my first trick, I will be playing Chopsticks. 1.2289 0.03078 284 232 39 13
2908 Ladies & Gents, pardon my candor, but whoever leaves their cell phone on is gonna get slugged. 1.2289 0.02735 284 224 55 5
2909 This is an atonal rendition 1.2288 0.02999 271 218 44 9
2910 For my next performance, “Fight of the Bumblebees” by M Ali. 1.2288 0.03133 271 221 38 12
2911 And now for my next number, “Can’t Fight This Feeling.” 1.2288 0.02811 271 214 52 5
2912 Anybody else want to throw out a request? 1.2287 0.03046 258 207 43 8
2913 Next, "Fright of the Bumblebee". 1.2287 0.03238 258 211 35 12
2914 And now, for my final piece, The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2287 0.02771 293 233 53 7
2915 This song's going to be a knock out! 1.2286 0.03106 280 229 38 13
2916 This number I call “Sting like a bee.” 1.2286 0.03023 280 227 42 11
2917 You misunderstood I play Box not Bach. 1.2285 0.02838 302 243 49 10
2918 This one's simple but it has a good hook. 1.2285 0.03207 267 219 35 13
2919 Float like a butterfly, sting like the Flight of the Bumblebees. 1.2285 0.03027 267 215 43 9
2920 And now, the theme from the Boxer Rebellion 1.2285 0.03251 267 220 33 14
2921 I am just a poor boy Though my story's seldom told ..." 1.2284 0.03000 289 235 42 12
2922 ...and now, my tribute to Rocky Balboa. 1.2284 0.03118 289 238 36 15
2923 Currently, Rachmaninoff is winning. 1.2283 0.03223 254 207 36 11
2924 And for our finale, the Theme from Rocky in D minor 1.2283 0.03177 276 227 35 14
2925 He’s the best at hitting those low notes, for his weight class. 1.2281 0.02859 285 228 49 8
2926 For my encore, I will play an original piece titled, "Rush Hour Traffic" 1.2281 0.03108 285 234 37 14
2927 And now, for your listening pleasure: the John Philip Sousa rendition of "Kitten on the Keys". 1.2281 0.02944 285 230 45 10
2928 And now for a piece by a exciting new young composer. 1.2281 0.02986 285 231 43 11
2929 Now, to break some hearts. 1.2279 0.03034 272 220 42 10
2930 And one, two, one two, one two, 1.2279 0.02989 272 219 44 9
2931 And now, Duke's Waltz, in D minor, A flat, and C. 1.2279 0.03122 272 222 38 12
2932 Well Jim, I agree Smith is faster, but he will be conceding over 700 pounds to Steinway. 1.2279 0.02926 294 238 45 11
2933 Life is choices and family compromise. My dad wanted me to be a boxer, my mom a pianist, but I just wanted to play the drums. 1.2278 0.02756 316 254 52 10
2934 I once played this way at the White House. The President said he too played this way - once at Carnegie Hall. He felt he should have received a Grammy for the concert but a liberal conspiracy stole it from him. 1.2278 0.03226 259 212 35 12
2935 Ooooooh.... you meant Bach's piano music? 1.2278 0.03096 281 230 38 13
2936 And now a piece by TKOkovsky 1.2277 0.02830 303 244 49 10
2937 Lets just say "I AM a contender!" 1.2277 0.02830 303 244 49 10
2938 And for my next selection, I would like to play Flight of the Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bumblebee. 1.2277 0.03017 303 249 39 15
2939 This next number is called, 'Fight of the Bumble Bees', feel free to sting along." 1.2277 0.02868 303 245 47 11
2940 And now, Tyson's Sonata in B Minor. 1.2276 0.03197 268 220 35 13
2941 Well, it hurts to play Beethoven 1.2276 0.03070 290 238 38 14
2942 No, not Fight of the Bumblebee, it’s Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2276 0.02777 312 251 51 10
2943 I don’t use the pedal. 1.2276 0.02740 312 250 53 9
2944 I shall now attempt to play Box Prelude in C Major" 1.2275 0.03259 255 209 34 12
2945 Now, Beethoven's Fifth in the 3rd. 1.2274 0.02953 277 223 45 9
2946 Tonight's Key Player: Rocky Man-in-Off 1.2274 0.03248 277 230 31 16
2947 Glenn Gould playing the Palooka Variations. 1.2274 0.03083 277 226 39 12
2948 I will now play Box Toccata and Fugue 1.2274 0.02997 277 224 43 10
2949 I will now play "Flight of the Muhammad Ali" 1.2274 0.03040 277 225 41 11
2950 I can knockout this Steinway in three notes.... 1.2274 0.03044 299 246 38 15
2951 This rendition calls for a soft touch. 1.2274 0.02773 299 239 52 8
2952 The maître d' just asked me to sit down and pound out a few numbers. 1.2274 0.02773 299 239 52 8
2953 And now for Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2273 0.03058 286 234 39 13
2954 Tonight I will be playing Box' concerto. I may B Flat 1.2273 0.03098 286 235 37 14
2955 I shall now play "Mitten on the Keys." 1.2273 0.03092 264 214 40 10
2956 This piece is to be played "buone percosse", which means "with a good beating". 1.2273 0.02850 286 229 49 8
2957 And now, my Boxing Day Concerto. 1.2273 0.02977 286 232 43 11
2958 Next is my original composition, Rocky Balboa Suite. 1.2271 0.02748 317 255 52 10
2959 Piano-fought-e 1.2271 0.02784 317 256 50 11
2960 My next number, is the lost classic "Gorilla on the Keys'. 1.2271 0.02917 295 239 45 11
2961 Float like a butterfly, play in the key of B.” 1.2271 0.02917 295 239 45 11
2962 The following composition, titled 'Mother-in-law,' has a very striking, punchy tone. 1.2271 0.02956 295 240 43 12
2963 They make Chopsticks much more difficult. 1.2271 0.03024 273 221 42 10
2964 Don't fight me on this one! 1.2271 0.03069 273 222 40 11
2965 And now my ode to Rocky… mononinoff. 1.2271 0.03112 273 223 38 12
2966 The next piece is the Knockout Sonata in B-flat major. 1.2270 0.02822 304 245 49 10
2967 and now for some duke ellington! 1.2270 0.03045 282 230 40 12
2968 This one goes out to the knockout in the corner. 1.2270 0.03045 282 230 40 12
2969 Well how else am I supposed to express my anger? 1.2269 0.03025 260 209 43 8
2970 Next, a medley of hits from a little known Stevie Wonder album, 'Songs in the Key of Strife.' 1.2269 0.03121 260 211 39 10
2971 That tune was from my new album, ‘Mozart on Meth!’ 1.2269 0.03073 260 210 41 9
2972 This next one's got a hook that'll knock you out. 1.2268 0.02806 313 253 49 11
2973 And now, to conclude tonight's tribute to Sylvester Stallone, the theme from 'Rocky.'" 1.2268 0.02982 291 237 42 12
2974 I call this Fight Song. 1.2268 0.02733 291 231 54 6
2975 It's Box Fugue in G Minor! Hang on, I was just getting to the hook. 1.2268 0.03052 269 218 41 10
2976 It's music boxing. 1.2268 0.03142 269 220 37 12
2977 When Liberace met John Cage. 1.2268 0.03097 269 219 39 11
2978 I'd like to play a Paul Simon tune called "the Boxer". 1.2268 0.03142 269 220 37 12
2979 The concert was a knockout 1.2268 0.03007 269 217 43 9
2980 Ten rounds with Mike Tyson in D flat 1.2267 0.02805 300 241 50 9
2981 I feel like this method captures more of the emotion, you know? 1.2266 0.02808 278 221 51 6
2982 And now, my very own, Raging Bull Concerto in B-flat major. 1.2266 0.02899 278 223 47 8
2983 Horace took the Jazz Meistro seriously when he shouted "Hit it!" 1.2266 0.02854 278 222 49 7
2984 In tribute to Ali….”Flight of the Bumblebee” 1.2266 0.03103 256 207 40 9
2985 You should see him play the flute, amazing 1.2265 0.03048 287 235 39 13
2986 The next piece is called, “Requiem for a Pugilist” 1.2265 0.02798 287 229 51 7
2987 ...and now a selection from my new boxed set of CDs 1.2265 0.02926 287 232 45 10
2988 And now... the Joe Louis Suite... 1.2265 0.02926 287 232 45 10
2989 Are you sure you want to hear me play the theme from "Rocky" again? 1.2264 0.02840 265 210 50 5
2990 Alright, who called me a "pee-anus"? 1.2264 0.03173 265 217 36 12
2991 My teacher says it will remind me to not hit the keys too hard. 1.2264 0.02908 296 240 45 11
2992 I call it "Requiem to a glass jaw" 1.2264 0.03024 296 243 39 14
2993 And for my encore, I will play “The Theme From Rocky! 1.2264 0.02828 296 238 49 9
2994 A brief announcement: I'll not be holding any punches in this next piece. 1.2263 0.02657 327 262 56 9
2995 And now, a Box concerto. 1.2262 0.03184 252 205 37 10
2996 And now I'll go a few rounds with "Chopsticks." 1.2261 0.02865 283 227 48 8
2997 This isn't The Ring I was expecting. 1.2261 0.02952 283 229 44 10
2998 I glove a piano 1.2260 0.02892 292 236 46 10
2999 I’m not wearing any pants. 1.2259 0.03218 270 223 33 14
3000 This evening I will only play octaves 1.2259 0.02950 270 217 45 8
3001 This Concerto may seem a little modern for some. 1.2259 0.03218 270 223 33 14
3002 I couldn't decide between sports and music 1.2259 0.02997 270 218 43 9
3003 The night he realized "Put Up Your Dukes" wasn't coined after Duke Ellington. 1.2259 0.02950 270 217 45 8
3004 And so to start of my Boxing Day concert... 1.2259 0.02913 301 245 44 12
3005 And now, as counterpoint to Beethoven's "Moonlight", here's a sonata with some punch. 1.2259 0.02797 301 242 50 9
3006 And for my next number, the theme from "Raging Bull. 1.2259 0.02757 301 241 52 8
3007 Improvisation is the key. 1.2258 0.02934 279 225 45 9
3008 My next piece is Ali in C minor 1.2258 0.03063 279 228 39 12
3009 Ladies and gentlemen: Counterpunch was Bach's specialty, as I shall now demonstrate 1.2257 0.02958 288 234 43 11
3010 As you may have surmised...No, I,don’t have insurance for my hands. 1.2257 0.02958 288 234 43 11
3011 And now ladies and gentlemen - Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!! 1.2257 0.03236 257 211 34 12
3012 Any requests for tunes you want me to bang out? 1.2256 0.02738 297 237 53 7
3013 And now, may I present, Rocky the Musical 1.2256 0.03014 297 244 39 14
3014 It may be unconventional, but it is the first Mozart-meets-Muhammad-Ali performance I know of. 1.2256 0.02929 266 213 46 7
3015 ...and now, I will punch it up a bit with the Anvil Chorus. 1.2255 0.02915 275 221 46 8
3016 Concerto in Gloves hits all the right notes and most of the wrong ones, too. 1.2255 0.03005 275 223 42 10
3017 Who requested Wagner’s Ring Cycle? 1.2255 0.03134 275 226 36 13
3018 My next selection is "Eye of the Tiger" 1.2254 0.02826 315 256 47 12
3019 I find this is the safest way to perform the “Nutcracker” 1.2254 0.02984 284 231 42 11
3020 For my next number, I will sting like a bee. 1.2253 0.03317 253 209 31 13
3021 And for my final work I give you Box Toccata and Fugue. 1.2253 0.03172 253 206 37 10
3022 I call this next piece "Float like a Butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.2253 0.03003 293 240 40 13
3023 I will now play the theme song and other songs from 'Rocky'" 1.2251 0.02846 271 216 49 6
3024 Oh! Not the fight of the bumblebee? 1.2251 0.03121 271 222 37 12
3025 And now, Chopin with the gloves off.... 1.2250 0.02968 280 227 43 10
3026 This next song will knock your socks off! 1.2250 0.02831 320 261 46 13
3027 Hecklers, beware! 1.2249 0.02866 289 233 47 9
3028 And in this corner, The Challenger, Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 3--AREYOU READYTORUMBOOOOOOOOOOOL? 1.2249 0.02949 289 235 43 11
3029 Now, Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 20 in B-flat major, TKO.548 1.2248 0.02811 298 240 49 9
3030 If you will,a Rachmaninoff/Ali variation: Float like a butterfly,sting like a bumblebee. 1.2248 0.02771 298 239 51 8
3031 We start on the downbeat after a standing 8 count. 1.2247 0.03014 267 216 42 9
3032 My next tune is ‘The Boxer’ by Simon and Garfunkel... 1.2247 0.02919 267 214 46 7
3033 You said to ‘make it punchier.’ 1.2247 0.02818 316 257 47 12
3034 And now "he Theme from Wagner's "THE RING" 1.2246 0.03248 276 230 30 16
3035 This next event will consist of ten three-minute rounds. 1.2246 0.02860 276 221 48 7
3036 Watch and listen while I pummel the hell out of this thing. 1.2246 0.02995 276 224 42 10
3037 Let me try that again in G major. 1.2246 0.02995 276 224 42 10
3038 Flight of the bumblebee. Ohooo Kay. 1.2246 0.03124 276 227 36 13
3039 And this next song is really a knockout.... 1.2246 0.02933 285 231 44 10
3040 What? I thought I was supposed to play "The Boxer"... 1.2246 0.02975 285 232 42 11
3041 And now, a preview of the theme from Rocky VIII . . . 1.2246 0.02933 285 231 44 10
3042 And now, my version of Chopsticks. 1.2246 0.02933 285 231 44 10
3043 The next is a cross between Ali and Amadeus! 1.2245 0.02954 294 240 42 12
3044 My arrangement of the the new "13th DAY OF CHRISTMAS": BOXING DAY!!! 1.2245 0.02993 294 241 40 13
3045 A sacred performance of the Boxing Day classics “O Come All Ye KO” “Ring-Side Bells”, and “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”. 1.2245 0.02993 294 241 40 13
3046 And now, a Box Sonata 1.2245 0.02954 294 240 42 12
3047 Isn't this a dueling piano bar? 1.2245 0.02834 294 237 48 9
3048 You will hear a combination of the 1812 Overture, and the Nutcracker Suite........ 1.2244 0.03161 254 207 37 10
3049 I really hate this song. 1.2244 0.03210 254 208 35 11
3050 And now let me conclude with some Beathoven. 1.2243 0.03182 263 216 35 12
3051 And now, the Ring Cycle! 1.2243 0.03067 272 222 39 11
3052 And now for my Post-Modern interpretation of Philip Glass 1.2243 0.02931 272 219 45 8
3053 I hope you like the opening of Beethoven’s Fifth. 1.2243 0.03111 272 223 37 12
3054 So you see, it's easy to hit the right note. 1.2242 0.02635 330 265 56 9
3055 And now for some of my Boxing Day favorites! Let me punch out a few tunes for you. 1.2242 0.03001 281 229 41 11
3056 You did say that you would box my recordings for Christmas! 1.2242 0.02827 281 225 49 7
3057 Just a brief encore... I have to get across town before the bell for the opening round. 1.2242 0.03001 281 229 41 11
3058 1-2-3-Hit It! 1.2242 0.03001 281 229 41 11
3059 The doctors said it couldn't be done. 1.2242 0.03001 281 229 41 11
3060 He’ll be out by the 10th bar. 1.2241 0.02857 290 234 47 9
3061 For my next number, the theme from "Rocky II." 1.2241 0.03059 290 239 37 14
3062 The theme song from Rocky, why? 1.2241 0.02940 290 236 43 11
3063 Oh my story’s seldom told 1.2241 0.02842 299 242 47 10
3064 This is the best way to play "Louie, Louie". 1.2240 0.02864 308 251 45 12
3065 Life of an artist is a constant battle 1.2239 0.02812 268 213 50 5
3066 I'd like to play for you a sonata composed by Chucky, my golden retriever. 1.2238 0.03114 277 228 36 13
3067 Allow me to punch something out for your listening pleasure. 1.2238 0.02709 277 219 54 4
3068 Ladies and Gentlemen...The Concerto For The Nail-Biter in D-minor 1.2238 0.02839 286 230 48 8
3069 And now I will bang out my number, 'Love is a battlefield.' 1.2237 0.02866 295 239 46 10
3070 I can turn them into black and blue keys. 1.2237 0.02784 295 237 50 8
3071 Not without the secret fingerholes, I can't! 1.2237 0.03070 304 253 34 17
3072 No refunds 1.2236 0.02567 313 248 60 5
3073 Tickling time's over. 1.2234 0.03012 273 222 41 10
3074 The day after Christmas, Harold was obviously confused. 1.2234 0.03100 273 224 37 12
3075 For the next prelude, the sheet music's dynamic said combattivissimo. 1.2234 0.03056 273 223 39 11
3076 So you’re not fans of avant-garde... 1.2234 0.02818 282 226 49 7
3077 I guarantee tonight's performance will be a knockout." 1.2234 0.03034 282 231 39 12
3078 This piece is titled, "Eye of the Tiger in B, C, D, G, and F." 1.2234 0.02992 282 230 41 11
3079 Now for my feisty version of Brahms's 'Lullaby. 1.2234 0.03075 282 232 37 13
3080 My next piece is Mozart's Sonata in B flatten major. 1.2234 0.02992 282 230 41 11
3081 I'm gonna knock out this tune so badly, you won't even recognize it by the time I'm done ! 1.2234 0.02949 282 229 43 10
3082 Let's get ready to ready to rumble! 1.2234 0.02931 291 237 43 11
3083 Mom, I'm having that bad dream again where they announce I'll be playing, 'Fight Of The Bumblebee.' 1.2234 0.02807 291 234 49 8
3084 For the first round, I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2234 0.03088 291 241 35 15
3085 Next, I'll be playing "Great Balls of Fire " 1.2234 0.02931 291 237 43 11
3086 A few more sonatas and I will have Beethoven on the ropes. 1.2234 0.02931 291 237 43 11
3087 See dad where "pounding the keys" got me! 1.2230 0.02947 269 217 44 8
3088 Not to worry there is only one large ebony and one large ivory key 1.2230 0.02915 287 233 44 10
3089 My left hook is quite sharp, but my right jab is flat 1.2230 0.02956 287 234 42 11
3090 As a matter of fact, I was somewhat suspicious when my manager referred to this gig as "undercard." 1.2230 0.02915 287 233 44 10
3091 Adrian, my music. 1.2230 0.02956 287 234 42 11
3092 The odds in Vegas are 25 to 1 that I defeat the piano. 1.2230 0.02734 296 237 52 7
3093 Oh, you wanted something by the Bachs? 1.2230 0.02897 296 241 44 11
3094 I’ll knock out a few rounds for you now. 1.2230 0.02975 296 243 40 13
3095 I thought it should sound more bombastic. 1.2230 0.02776 296 238 50 8
3096 You guys like “Chopsticks”? 1.2230 0.02953 305 251 40 14
3097 Now for a demonstration of late 20th century classical piano compositions. 1.2226 0.03115 265 217 37 11
3098 This next piece is called "Two gloves on eighty-eight keys". 1.2226 0.02974 265 214 43 8
3099 ...and attempting to play Sonata No. 14 WHILE sanctioned by the Nevada State Athletic Commission... 1.2226 0.02974 265 214 43 8
3100 Heckle me one more time and I swear you're going to be the one "off key". 1.2226 0.03090 274 225 37 12
3101 And now....my homage to Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2226 0.02982 283 231 41 11
3102 And now Knockout in B flat minor. 1.2226 0.02922 292 238 43 11
3103 I just can't fight this feeling anymore. 1.2226 0.02798 292 235 49 8
3104 If you please, let us now prepare ourselves to Rumble. 1.2226 0.03001 292 240 39 13
3105 As requested, I will now play The Boxer. 1.2226 0.02810 310 252 47 11
3106 I believe I left an order for the piano with the very large keys. 1.2226 0.02773 310 251 49 10
3107 You cannot force an individual to succeed in something when their heart is desiring another. 1.2222 0.02947 288 235 42 11
3108 And now, Mike Tyson’s favorite sonata. 1.2222 0.02907 306 251 42 13
3109 For my next piece, "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2222 0.02906 288 234 44 10
3110 Oh no, I forgot the sheet music! 1.2222 0.03001 261 211 42 8
3111 …and now, I’d like to perform Sugar Ray’s Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Minor. 1.2222 0.02888 297 242 44 11
3112 And now I will play something soft yet powerful. 1.2222 0.03075 270 221 38 11
3113 For my next piece, "Rocky" in D minor. 1.2222 0.02922 279 226 44 9
3114 And now I shall play the theme from Rocky. 1.2222 0.02795 306 248 48 10
3115 And now “The Boxer,” by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2222 0.02849 297 241 46 10
3116 Next piece is for the Poughkeepsie “his Beethoven lacked punch” Times-Herald. 1.2222 0.03075 270 221 38 11
3117 Just sayin' The Boxer would have peaked higher than seven on Billboard's Hot 100 if Simon and Garfunkel had thought of this. 1.2222 0.02768 297 239 50 8
3118 I'm thinking outside of the boxing ring. 1.2222 0.02833 306 249 46 11
3119 Millenials are tone-deaf to high culture, so what does it matter? 1.2219 0.02875 311 255 43 13
3120 Next, I will play Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee by Cassius Clay 1.2218 0.02973 284 232 41 11
3121 For my next selection, the prelude to We Will Rock You. 1.2218 0.02800 284 228 49 7
3122 I guess I'll roll with the punches. 1.2218 0.02800 284 228 49 7
3123 And In This Corner..."The Well Tempered Clavier" by J.S. Bach 1.2218 0.02964 266 215 43 8
3124 And now I will perform the newly-discovered very last symphony composed by Beethoven when he was both deaf and blind. 1.2218 0.03011 266 216 41 9
3125 Be ready for something different. 1.2215 0.02661 316 254 54 8
3126 This next piece is "Etude in B-flat" by Joe Lewis. 1.2215 0.02862 307 251 44 12
3127 My next selection is Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2215 0.02840 298 242 46 10
3128 And we'll conclude the evening with a knock out medley from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. 1.2215 0.02978 289 237 40 12
3129 For my next piece, I shall work the body, relentlessly. 1.2215 0.02896 289 235 44 10
3130 Everybody now! '...float like a butterfly, sting like a bee... My name is Muhammad... Muhammad Ali!!!' 1.2215 0.03058 289 239 36 14
3131 This is nothing. Try using chopsticks to eat with these things on! 1.2215 0.02978 289 237 40 12
3132 I have to go to the bathroom. 1.2214 0.03042 280 230 38 12
3133 And for my encore, I'll be playing the finale to "The 1812 Overture". 1.2214 0.02999 280 229 40 11
3134 Dang.These talent contests are brutal. 1.2214 0.02999 280 229 40 11
3135 I can easily cover 2 octaves this way. 1.2214 0.02974 271 220 42 9
3136 I'd like to thank the Mike Tyson Foundation for commissioning the next piece. 1.2214 0.03039 262 213 40 9
3137 Let's see if you can stand me for 12 rounds. 1.2214 0.02941 262 211 44 7
3138 Common time?! I only know the ole' one-two! 1.2211 0.02769 303 245 49 9
3139 And now for "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumble bee." 1.2211 0.02963 285 233 41 11
3140 And now I'd like to play the theme from"Rocky " 1.2211 0.02963 285 233 41 11
3141 You've just heard me float like a butterfly. Now, listen as I sting like a bee. 1.2211 0.02879 285 231 45 9
3142 Next up: Mozart and Salieri's piano concerto collaboration 1.2211 0.02963 285 233 41 11
3143 if someone boos’s one more time you’re gonna get it 1.2210 0.03026 276 226 39 11
3144 ...and now I'd like to play a selection from the concerto for piano and boxing gloves in the key of whatever. 1.2210 0.03026 276 226 39 11
3145 I feel like my current job is boxing me in. 1.2210 0.03026 276 226 39 11
3146 And now I take the gloves off and play a mean Chopin. 1.2209 0.03165 258 212 35 11
3147 I usually have a sheet music page turner. 1.2208 0.02836 317 260 44 13
3148 Elton, Wednesday night is NOT alright for fighting. 1.2208 0.02853 308 252 44 12
3149 Piano Concert on Boxing Day. 1.2207 0.02969 290 238 40 12
3150 Trump being an ineffective president produces a most disharmonious effect, the same as playing a piano with boxing gloves on. 1.2207 0.03048 290 240 36 14
3151 "Ali never had to play the piano." 1.2207 0.02887 290 236 44 10
3152 I will just punch out a few tunes for you 1.2206 0.02814 281 226 48 7
3153 His symphonies really pack a punch. 1.2206 0.02775 272 217 50 5
3154 Let's see you try to 'beat it eight to the bar' with these damn things. 1.2205 0.03029 263 214 40 9
3155 I'll punch it out! 1.2205 0.02980 263 213 42 8
3156 And now, Concerto in C Minor by the great Rocky Marchiano. 1.2205 0.02995 254 205 42 7
3157 Ladies and Gentlemen...Let's get ready to rhumbaaaaaaaaa!!! 1.2205 0.02995 254 205 42 7
3158 At this point I can only play the Rocky theme. 1.2203 0.02814 295 239 47 9
3159 And now, a largo in fall flat. 1.2203 0.02954 286 234 41 11
3160 What I said was, I could outplay you with one hand tied behind my back...! 1.2203 0.02783 286 230 49 7
3161 Somewhat shatters the illusion, don't you think? 1.2202 0.03017 277 227 39 11
3162 And now, another of Box cantatas... 1.2202 0.03144 277 230 33 14
3163 My next selection is Rope-a-Dope in C Major. 1.2201 0.03037 268 219 39 10
3164 And for my encore this evening, I give you "Fight of the Bumblebee". 1.2201 0.03057 259 211 39 9
3165 For my encore,I wish to play the beloved piano solo,Chopin's "SP'ZJMVPOIALKNCV38XSLAEADSNZKSX." 1.2199 0.02960 291 239 40 12
3166 So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. 1.2199 0.02850 282 228 46 8
3167 My manager said I needed a knock-out tune. 1.2199 0.02937 282 230 42 10
3168 pianissimo 1.2199 0.02894 282 229 44 9
3169 On now, next on the program: Box Well-Tempered Clavier 1.2198 0.02954 273 222 42 9
3170 88 Keys to Anger Management : “#1: instead of tickling the ivories beat them to a pulp”. 1.2196 0.03373 255 214 26 15
3171 It's called Rhapsody in Gloves 1.2196 0.02805 296 240 47 9
3172 Now a surprise treat -- a little composition I wrote as a ham-fisted beginner. 1.2195 0.02774 287 231 49 7
3173 Do I hear another request for “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.2195 0.03026 287 237 37 13
3174 Did you say forte or fortissimo? 1.2195 0.03159 246 201 36 9
3175 For the Scriabin, the gloves come off! 1.2195 0.03026 287 237 37 13
3176 Rachmaninov is merciless. So am I. 1.2195 0.02903 287 234 43 10
3177 Now I Will Play My Opus Trumpus. 1.2195 0.02903 287 234 43 10
3178 This piece is dedicated to Muhammad Ali. 1.2194 0.02819 319 262 44 13
3179 And now, Michael Jackson's "Beat it." 1.2193 0.02934 269 218 43 8
3180 No. I can’t play “Flight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2192 0.02910 292 239 42 11
3181 Next I will perform for you one of the lesser known piano compositions by the legendary John Cage. 1.2192 0.02910 292 239 42 11
3182 Tickle the ivories? More like pummel 'em. 1.2191 0.02841 283 229 46 8
3183 How about a little Duke Ellington? 1.2191 0.02928 283 231 42 10
3184 I call it Rocky 'n' Roll. 1.2191 0.03054 283 234 36 13
3185 And now, my latest composition, 'Glissando Waltz'. 1.2191 0.02885 283 230 44 9
3186 Next, I will get out of this piano all that I can. 1.2190 0.02842 315 259 43 13
3187 Theme song from "Rocky"? Sorry, I don't know that one. Any other requests? 1.2190 0.02899 274 222 44 8
3188 This original composition will really knock you out. 1.2190 0.02805 274 220 48 6
3189 Bored silly by my insane virtuosity, I’ve taken up concert pugilism. 1.2190 0.02990 274 224 40 10
3190 Does it start...Ba,Ba,Ba,BOOM! 1.2189 0.02960 265 215 42 8
3191 and now a litta numba I pound..it's called Lights Out... 1.2189 0.02993 297 246 37 14
3192 I thought this was a dueling pianos bar. 1.2189 0.02837 297 242 45 10
3193 Oh, so you meant handle with 'Kid gloves?' 1.2188 0.02974 256 207 42 7
3194 And now I shall play the Flyweight of the Bumblebee. 1.2188 0.02976 288 237 39 12
3195 And now I'd like to perform Beethoven's Pugilist's Polka in the key of ABCDEFG. 1.2188 0.03056 288 239 35 14
3196 Hit 'em with the old one an' a two... 1.2186 0.02774 279 224 49 6
3197 This next number is from Ali's 'The Ring Cycle'. 1.2186 0.02910 279 227 43 9
3198 Wait until you heard it. 1.2186 0.02910 279 227 43 9
3199 I shall now play Chopin's Minute Waltz in ten seconds. It's a Knock Out! 1.2185 0.02806 302 246 46 10
3200 Now, I will fight through Schumann’s Toccata in C Major Op. 7. 1.2185 0.02727 302 244 50 8
3201 When I'm through with it, it'll be a mini grand piano. 1.2185 0.03017 270 221 39 10
3202 I will now perform my masterwork: Piano Destruction in D 1.2185 0.02829 270 217 47 6
3203 Be-Bop 1.2184 0.02735 293 236 50 7
3204 I call my next composition,"TKO in A Minor." 1.2184 0.02901 293 240 42 11
3205 My next piece is “Punchinello” in B flat. 1.2183 0.02919 284 232 42 10
3206 For my next song, a piece played solely on black and blue keys. 1.2183 0.02876 284 231 44 9
3207 Now, this piece must be played with a one-two punch. 1.2183 0.02832 284 230 46 8
3208 This next piece I am going to play for you this evening is a "real knockout". 1.2183 0.03044 284 235 36 13
3209 I bite my nails before I play and these help me to stop. 1.2183 0.02961 284 233 40 11
3210 My teacher said I had to fight to make it to the top! 1.2182 0.03024 275 226 38 11
3211 And a left, and a right, and a left right left right. 1.2181 0.02706 298 240 51 7
3212 My critics say I can never hit the right key... 1.2181 0.03059 298 249 33 16
3213 For my last number, Mozart's Sonata in D TKO.576 1.2181 0.03336 243 202 29 12
3214 Any requests or should I just F you up? 1.2181 0.02769 321 263 46 12
3215 I'm sorry sir, that's not possible. I'm wearing boxing gloves. 1.2180 0.03007 289 239 37 13
3216 And next, I'll play cxlaeirr dfee lyunme. 1.2180 0.03007 289 239 37 13
3217 Welcome to the premiere performance of the Boxing Ring Cycle." 1.2180 0.02967 289 238 39 12
3218 Bach's...ing gloves 1.2179 0.02857 312 257 42 13
3219 My next selection is, Beat me daddy eight to the bar. 1.2179 0.03030 280 231 37 12
3220 Tonight we will be beating out Beethoven's 5th. 1.2179 0.02856 280 227 45 8
3221 I will now pound out my last tune. 1.2178 0.02875 303 249 42 12
3222 And now, excerpts from The Ring, by Sonny Liszton. 1.2177 0.02961 271 221 41 9
3223 If he doesn't C sharp he’ll B flat. 1.2177 0.03052 271 223 37 11
3224 This next piece is “Beethoven’s Fists in A Minor Fight”. 1.2177 0.02861 317 262 41 14
3225 Can I start again? 1.2176 0.02977 262 213 41 8
3226 My parents always called it banging, so here it is! 1.2175 0.02909 285 233 42 10
3227 But I have bone spurs in my hands! 1.2175 0.02909 285 233 42 10
3228 Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, I'm just the undercard. 1.2175 0.02909 285 233 42 10
3229 And now, without further ado, let us bid a final farewell to the jerk first violinist. 1.2175 0.03034 285 236 36 13
3230 Contrapunto on a Divorce 1.2174 0.02880 276 224 44 8
3231 Know it?? I wrote it!! 1.2174 0.02880 276 224 44 8
3232 And now, "The Well-Tempered Clavier," by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2174 0.03143 276 230 32 14
3233 This next one is a bit heavier... 1.2174 0.02860 299 245 43 11
3234 which one of my arts have you come to see? 1.2172 0.02958 290 239 39 12
3235 Welcome to Full Contact Sonatas. 1.2172 0.02998 290 240 37 13
3236 I shall now perform my rendition of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.2172 0.02876 290 237 43 10
3237 I call it the Boxing Day Concerto. 1.2172 0.02892 267 216 44 7
3238 And now, for the main event, the "Hammerklavier" Sonata. 1.2172 0.02988 267 218 40 9
3239 Was that Box or Bach ? 1.2172 0.03035 267 219 38 10
3240 And now a piece by our esteemed conductor, Michael Tyson Thomas. 1.2172 0.02940 267 217 42 8
3241 And now, a little thing called "One Note Samba." 1.2171 0.02866 304 250 42 12
3242 I told you that I was a pianist not a pugilist! 1.2171 0.02750 304 247 48 9
3243 Pound it once, Sam. For old times' sake. 1.2171 0.02802 281 227 47 7
3244 And now, the Marquess of Queensbury Symphony. 1.2171 0.02954 258 209 42 7
3245 what? you said we were doing rounds... 1.2169 0.02858 272 220 45 7
3246 I punched out this next piece earlier today. 1.2168 0.02634 286 228 54 4
3247 ...and in this corner, we have C#. 1.2168 0.03024 286 237 36 13
3248 These are perfect for BACHsing! 1.2167 0.02917 263 213 43 7
3249 I'm pounding the keyboard, like you asked. 1.2167 0.02967 263 214 41 8
3250 I'm happy to take requests, Madam, but Chopsticks is off the table. 1.2166 0.02960 277 227 40 10
3251 l"My piano style is to float like a butterfly and sting like Ali." 1.2166 0.02730 314 256 48 10
3252 And now, Rocky's Fifth Symphony in Creed major." 1.2165 0.03083 254 208 37 9
3253 This fugue is a knockout. 1.2165 0.02908 291 239 41 11
3254 I'm a bit out of practice so I'm just gonna roll with the punches. 1.2165 0.02867 291 238 43 10
3255 Good evening. I'm Rocky Marcipiano. 1.2164 0.03024 268 220 38 10
3256 A funny thing happened on my way to the concert you all paid a lot of money for ..... 1.2164 0.02930 268 218 42 8
3257 Pyotr Pavlosky, Pugilist Pianist 1.2164 0.02742 305 248 48 9
3258 I hope no one notices that my socks don't match. 1.2163 0.02925 282 231 41 10
3259 I will now knock out 'The Theme From Rocky' for you.... 1.2163 0.02968 282 232 39 11
3260 It was try this or brain surgery 1.2163 0.02552 319 256 57 6
3261 This one is a punchy number 1.2162 0.02668 296 238 52 6
3262 I feel as though my career is at a crossroads. 1.2162 0.02914 296 244 40 12
3263 And now, I’d like to play my new composition, the Rocky Balboa Piano Sonata #5. 1.2162 0.02753 296 240 48 8
3264 And now "Mama Said Knock You Out" in G minor. 1.2161 0.02863 310 256 41 13
3265 Believe me, this is for your own good. 1.2160 0.02849 287 234 44 9
3266 Maestro - sote voce please. 1.2160 0.02717 287 231 50 6
3267 The Boxer”? Don’t know that one 1.2160 0.02891 287 235 42 10
3268 And now, the viral "Piano Cat" arranged for a human 1.2160 0.03015 287 238 36 13
3269 I am also a great lover. 1.2160 0.02891 287 235 42 10
3270 I'm taking requests. 1.2160 0.02849 287 234 44 9
3271 And for my encore I will play "The Fight of the Bumble Bee." 1.2159 0.02881 301 248 41 12
3272 Now for the percussion crescendo, molto allegro 1.2159 0.02907 264 214 43 7
3273 I'd rather punch a clock. 1.2158 0.02951 278 228 40 10
3274 The next movement has many sharps. 1.2158 0.02994 278 229 38 11
3275 Next I will punch out an original tune 1.2158 0.02817 292 238 45 9
3276 Lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie-lie-lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie, Lie-le lie-lie-lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie-lie-lie ..." 1.2158 0.02899 292 240 41 11
3277 Yo, Beethoven. 1.2157 0.02849 306 252 42 12
3278 Jolly good Boxing Day recital, isn't it? 1.2157 0.02655 306 247 52 7
3279 This next one goes out to my good friend, 'Sly" Stallone! 1.2156 0.02695 320 261 49 10
3280 And now, a selection by Beat-hoven. 1.2155 0.02873 283 231 43 9
3281 I always say folks, 'float like a butterfly, sting like a Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2155 0.03083 283 236 33 14
3282 Float like a high C, sting like a C# 1.2155 0.02873 283 231 43 9
3283 Mike Tyson, this one's for you. 1.2155 0.02826 297 243 44 10
3284 You got a problem with that? 1.2154 0.03033 260 213 38 9
3285 Pianissimo enough for you now, Maestro? 1.2154 0.03033 260 213 38 9
3286 I get punchy before a performance. 1.2153 0.02932 274 224 41 9
3287 I call it "Float like a butterfly sting like flight of the bumblebee." 1.2153 0.02840 288 235 44 9
3288 And now, an old Simon & Garfunkel favorite ... 1.2153 0.02882 288 236 42 10
3289 My sonatas are impetuous, my concertos are impregnable, and my etudes are just ferocious. 1.2151 0.03050 251 205 38 8
3290 I will now play for you Frédéric Chopin's Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor featuring a right uppercut-left hook combination. 1.2151 0.03042 265 218 37 10
3291 For my next selection, "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2151 0.02898 265 215 43 7
3292 I only heard play Rocky not Rachmaninoff. 1.2151 0.02807 279 226 46 7
3293 Helps keep the beat. 1.2151 0.02897 279 228 42 9
3294 My next piece is the theme from the 'Rocky' movies. 1.2151 0.02941 279 229 40 10
3295 I'll just roll with the punches. 1.2150 0.02766 293 238 47 8
3296 I'm a little punchy. 1.2150 0.02794 321 265 43 13
3297 If you liked the last one, you should like this one too. 1.2149 0.03303 228 188 31 9
3298 Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for our latest sensation, Beat-hoven!" 1.2149 0.03121 242 198 36 8
3299 Oh SRO? I thought they said TKO. 1.2148 0.03011 256 209 39 8
3300 My manager thinks I need something to fall back on. 1.2148 0.02907 256 207 43 6
3301 Sure. I'm a concert pianist; but I like to punch out a little jazz on the ivories just as much as the next guy! 1.2148 0.02815 270 218 46 6
3302 And now, my introduction to contemporary music, 101 1.2148 0.02991 284 235 37 12
3303 And now, something a little more lively. 1.2148 0.02863 284 232 43 9
3304 I’m sure the ad said pugilist wanted... 1.2148 0.02907 284 233 41 10
3305 Next I will play a piece from LL Cool J: "Mama Said Knock You Out" in F#m 1.2148 0.02730 284 229 49 6
3306 Thanks... I get Billy Joel a lot! 1.2148 0.02897 298 246 40 12
3307 Bom Bom Bom Bommm! 1.2148 0.02777 298 243 46 9
3308 So far, I can only play the first eight notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony 1.2148 0.02817 298 244 44 10
3309 Tonight I will be performing "Eye of the Tiger" in D# Major 1.2148 0.02694 298 241 50 7
3310 I’m a Bachser by trade. 1.2147 0.02624 326 265 52 9
3311 You'll have to forgive me if my Bachsing is a little Rocky. 1.2145 0.02922 275 225 41 9
3312 Any other beatboxers in the audience, tonight? 1.2145 0.02922 275 225 41 9
3313 Box Toccata and Fugue has been requested. 1.2145 0.02914 289 238 40 11
3314 I dedicate this song to Mrs. Shirley Abercrombie, who sent me packing from this keyboard, sobbing, 'Never again Jimmy!' 1.2145 0.02831 289 236 44 9
3315 And in the red corner, weighing in at 165 pounds, hailing from St Petersburg, Russia... Dmitri Shostakovich!" 1.2145 0.02826 303 249 43 11
3316 Liberace's Nightmare 1.2145 0.02744 317 260 46 11
3317 Rocky the Musical 1.2143 0.02881 294 242 41 11
3318 His playing was a bit Rocky... 1.2143 0.03124 266 221 33 12
3319 To begin,I'd like to punch out a concerto by Bach. 1.2143 0.02795 308 253 44 11
3320 For my next selection,I will play "The Flight of the Bumblebee". 1.2143 0.02932 280 230 40 10
3321 I'm now going to play Beethoven's Fist Symphony followed by a Bop cantata. 1.2143 0.02881 294 242 41 11
3322 For my next piece, I will play 'Great Balls of Fire.' 1.2143 0.02584 294 235 55 4
3323 This next one is experimental but it got a lot of hits online ... 1.2143 0.02757 294 239 47 8
3324 Sorry, I can't perform tonight, this piano is out of tune. 1.2143 0.02843 280 228 44 8
3325 And now, Bach's Concerto in C # or B ♭. 1.2143 0.02843 280 228 44 8
3326 Next, a smashing transcription of The Ring Cycle. 1.2143 0.03153 238 195 35 8
3327 I will now play “Bust You in the Chopsticks.” 1.2140 0.02940 285 235 39 11
3328 This next piece is by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2140 0.02897 285 234 41 10
3329 My next piece will be "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee," 1.2140 0.02897 285 234 41 10
3330 And now my version of Paul Simon’s “The Boxer.” 1.2140 0.02655 271 216 52 3
3331 And now for a little number called "Punch Drunk". 1.2140 0.02805 271 219 46 6
3332 Must be how Trump attempts to play pianissimo 1.2140 0.03197 257 214 31 12
3333 As an encore, I pound my way through some Liszt! 1.2138 0.02808 318 263 42 13
3334 And now, 'Mars the Bringer of War' by Gustav Holst. 1.2138 0.02817 304 250 43 11
3335 It’s my brother’s idea. I love him. But don’t expect much. 1.2138 0.02864 290 238 42 10
3336 I've heard of tickling the ivories, but punching the ebonies? 1.2138 0.02905 290 239 40 11
3337 And now I will fight the piano. 1.2138 0.02946 290 240 38 12
3338 I told you, I'm a pugilist. 1.2138 0.02822 290 237 44 9
3339 Beethoven's Pugilistica Sonata in B-Flat! 1.2138 0.02957 276 227 39 10
3340 This next piece is entitled “float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven” 1.2136 0.02912 295 244 39 12
3341 Symphony in flat accidentals! 1.2136 0.02791 295 241 45 9
3342 J.S. Box prelude and fugue in b minor. 1.2135 0.02878 281 230 42 9
3343 For my next selection, I would like to play "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2135 0.03021 267 220 37 10
3344 The Pizzicato Polka, performed pugilistically. 1.2135 0.03068 267 221 35 11
3345 I'm just punching keys 1.2135 0.02829 267 216 45 6
3346 While I'm confident this will relieve some of the violence of the Rachmaninoff, I fear something essential may be lost. 1.2135 0.02878 267 217 43 7
3347 This is Chopin’s Knockout in E minor. 1.2134 0.03080 253 208 36 9
3348 You think it's easy to play this way ? 1.2133 0.02888 286 235 41 10
3349 I’m trying to beat out a tune. 1.2132 0.02844 272 221 44 7
3350 Next, Schumann’s Tocatta—mezzo forte. 1.2132 0.03117 272 227 32 13
3351 Chopsticks, please.... 1.2131 0.02922 305 254 37 14
3352 Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, you will be grateful. 1.2131 0.02731 305 249 47 9
3353 Now for the Flight of the Bumblebees in Colony Collapse. 1.2131 0.02813 291 238 44 9
3354 I shall now play float like a butterfly, sting like a bee 1.2130 0.02992 277 229 37 11
3355 In case I get booed. 1.2130 0.02858 277 226 43 8
3356 I’m sorry; all I can play is Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Bóxer. 1.2129 0.03049 263 217 36 10
3357 These ivories are extra ticklish. 1.2129 0.02741 310 254 46 10
3358 It keeps my playing punchy. 1.2129 0.02584 310 250 54 6
3359 It’s last call and I got a request for Nickelback. You kinda just have to roll with the punches. 1.2129 0.02949 249 202 41 6
3360 I call this piece "All the Wrong Notes" which uncannily makes it all sound right. 1.2128 0.02699 296 240 49 7
3361 And now for something that's tough to play ... 1.2128 0.02823 296 243 43 10
3362 These are the most ticklish ivories I've ever seen. 1.2128 0.02780 282 229 46 7
3363 For my next little number, the theme from Rocky. 1.2128 0.02913 282 232 40 10
3364 And now the entire Rocky score through Creed 2. 1.2128 0.02825 282 230 44 8
3365 Piano? Why, no, I'd never lay a glove on it. 1.2128 0.02780 282 229 46 7
3366 The told me I was playing a boxed set. 1.2128 0.02913 282 232 40 10
3367 I would like to welcome everyone to the Muhammad Ali Memorial Concert... 1.2128 0.02780 282 229 46 7
3368 Nobody could hold a candle to Ol' Sugar Ray Tchaikovsky. 1.2128 0.02780 282 229 46 7
3369 This next concerto is dedicated to tonight's sponsor - The School for the Deaf 1.2127 0.03278 268 227 25 16
3370 For those who are sitting ringside—the theme from 'Rocky'.' 1.2125 0.02793 287 234 45 8
3371 I think this piano needs tuning. 1.2125 0.03003 287 239 35 13
3372 And now, C minor in 12 rounds. 1.2124 0.02838 306 253 41 12
3373 No, please. Not "The Boxer" again. 1.2124 0.03029 259 213 37 9
3374 Any requests APART from Flight of the Bumblebee? 1.2123 0.02887 292 241 40 11
3375 I've been asked to tone it down. 1.2123 0.02846 292 240 42 10
3376 Ok....so I'm not known for my delicate arpeggios. 1.2122 0.02756 278 225 47 6
3377 Did I miss the punchline? 1.2122 0.03110 278 233 31 14
3378 Up next, Eye of the Tiger. 1.2122 0.02656 311 253 50 8
3379 I know — I could’ve been a contender, instead of a piano player . . . which is what I am 1.2122 0.02656 311 253 50 8
3380 It's ok, I'm the undercard. 1.2121 0.02814 297 244 43 10
3381 Oh, the other Rachy? 1.2121 0.02814 297 244 43 10
3382 Merry England, holiday time, Boxing Day concert. 1.2121 0.02843 264 214 44 6
3383 Tonight my concerto for the left hook. 1.2120 0.02704 316 259 47 10
3384 Well, this explains the tux. 1.2120 0.02904 283 233 40 10
3385 And now, the grand finale: Chopsticks. 1.2120 0.02904 283 233 40 10
3386 Now I will perform Rocky Balboa's Ringside rhapsody in g-flat minor. 1.2120 0.02816 283 231 44 8
3387 I will now play "Gonna Fly Now" as it was originally composed by Rocky Balboa. 1.2119 0.02784 302 248 44 10
3388 Next is a little diddy I call, "TKO". 1.2119 0.02859 269 219 43 7
3389 And in keeping with tonight's authentic concert series, here's an old Simon and Garfunkel hit..."The Boxer.." 1.2119 0.03001 269 222 37 10
3390 For this next piece, I got my inspiration from Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2119 0.03047 269 223 35 11
3391 Time to knock them out with my Mozart 1.2119 0.02859 269 219 43 7
3392 Float like a Satie, Sting like a Stravinsky 1.2119 0.03001 269 222 37 10
3393 Preparing to play "The Boxer" 1.2118 0.02603 321 261 52 8
3394 For my next selection: Chopstick 1.2118 0.02994 288 240 35 13
3395 Here's my fortissimo crescendo without breaking a mano. 1.2118 0.02827 288 236 43 9
3396 Do I hear a request for “The Theme From ‘Rocky’? 1.2118 0.02912 288 238 39 11
3397 My dermatologist says I need to stop scratching my eczema. 1.2117 0.02830 307 254 41 12
3398 Please wait until the end to tweet your reviews. 1.2117 0.02873 274 224 42 8
3399 And now a prelude in C minor by Rocky Balboa 1.2117 0.02720 326 269 45 12
3400 And now, Marciano's First Sonata, traditionally performed as a round. 1.2116 0.02878 293 242 40 11
3401 And now, here to play the theme song from "Rocky"... 1.2116 0.02837 293 241 42 10
3402 I will now play “Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang”. 1.2116 0.02796 293 240 44 9
3403 Next I shall play Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 21, K.O. 467 1.2116 0.02754 293 239 46 8
3404 And now....Anyone care to dispute my abilities in B Flat? 1.2115 0.02884 279 229 41 9
3405 There would be no sequel to Concerto #1 by Rockymaninoff 1.2114 0.02724 298 243 47 8
3406 Really? I thought this was how Thelonious Monk got his sound. 1.2114 0.02885 298 247 39 12
3407 Yes, I was the star of the 1939 movie Golden Boy. And yes, I was very musical. But I always wanted to be a boxer. Any other questions? 1.2114 0.02765 298 244 45 9
3408 And now for some Rachmaninov. 1.2114 0.02841 317 264 39 14
3409 This next piece will knock your socks off. 1.2113 0.02933 265 217 40 8
3410 Hold your applause until I get to the hook. 1.2113 0.02717 284 230 48 6
3411 The refrain is a bit punchy. 1.2112 0.02520 322 260 56 6
3412 I have always been a fierce competitor! 1.2111 0.02849 270 220 43 7
3413 And now, ladies and gentlemen, my rendition of the theme from Rocky. 1.2111 0.02991 270 223 37 10
3414 Actually, it’s a request from Mr. Steinway himself..... 1.2111 0.02944 289 240 37 12
3415 For my next selection, Eye of the Tiger." 1.2111 0.02688 289 234 49 6
3416 I am just a poor boy Though my story's seldom told I have squandered my resistance For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises All lies and jests Still a man hears what he wants to hear And disregards the rest... 1.2111 0.02861 289 238 41 10
3417 I’m just all thumbs! 1.2111 0.02776 289 236 45 8
3418 I am proud to be a contender in this year‘s Van Cliburn competition... 1.2109 0.03097 256 212 34 10
3419 Original "Chops" 1.2109 0.02945 256 209 40 7
3420 Hello Philly! Just for you the theme from Rocky. 1.2109 0.02909 275 226 40 9
3421 Fuego means fight doesn't it? 1.2109 0.02816 275 224 44 7
3422 Now, I would like to conclude with an original composition. I call it "Ode to Ali" 1.2109 0.02816 275 224 44 7
3423 Turns out I’m my own worst enemy. 1.2109 0.02910 294 244 38 12
3424 What was wrong with the hook? 1.2109 0.02869 294 243 40 11
3425 And now, my rendition of, "The Thrilla in Manilla." 1.2109 0.02787 294 241 44 9
3426 I'm know for subtlety and nuance. 1.2109 0.02745 294 240 46 8
3427 I will now play Ravel’s Left Foot Concerto. 1.2109 0.02791 313 259 42 12
3428 I shall now play the Marquess of Queensberry version of Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.” 1.2107 0.02858 261 212 43 6
3429 This piece will be played in fortissimo. 1.2107 0.02752 261 210 47 4
3430 This sonata has a punchy finish. 1.2107 0.02830 280 229 43 8
3431 My next piece is dedicated to the immortal Muhammad Ali... 1.2107 0.02875 280 230 41 9
3432 I shall now play "Knockout!" by the late John Cage. 1.2107 0.03006 280 233 35 12
3433 "Yes, I can play the theme for Rocky." 1.2107 0.02837 299 247 41 11
3434 The Third Contender Sonata by R. Balboa 1.2107 0.02797 299 246 43 10
3435 Oh, no. I'm having a nightmare. 1.2107 0.02797 299 246 43 10
3436 And now my rendition of “Hittin’ on the Keys.” 1.2107 0.02762 318 263 43 12
3437 Tough Croud 1.2105 0.02754 285 232 46 7
3438 This makes it much simpler to play some of today’s new symphonies 1.2105 0.03221 247 206 30 11
3439 Sorry for the delay, folks - my trainer is looking for my mouthguard. 1.2105 0.02842 285 234 42 9
3440 I'm going to pound out my next selection. 1.2105 0.02687 304 248 48 8
3441 Sorry, it’s not tuned... 1.2104 0.02887 309 258 37 14
3442 My therapist suggested this when i forget the notes 1.2104 0.02699 309 253 47 9
3443 And now Rockymaninoff symphony #9 TKO. 1.2103 0.02852 290 239 41 10
3444 I MUST BE DREAMING 1.2103 0.02767 290 237 45 8
3445 For my next piece, a little number by Mr. Mike Tyson. 1.2103 0.03115 271 227 31 13
3446 And now one of my personal favorites, Rocky Balboa's Louie Louie in C minor. 1.2103 0.02935 271 223 39 9
3447 At measure 40 it's a real knockout. 1.2102 0.02861 295 244 40 11
3448 I thought it said Concerto Fist Movement? 1.2101 0.02989 276 229 36 11
3449 I call this one "Back Home in Palookaville" 1.2101 0.02900 276 227 40 9
3450 In a clearing stands a boxer/ And a fighter by his trade... 1.2101 0.02945 276 228 38 10
3451 ....and next, songs from the millennial generation. 1.2101 0.03033 276 230 34 12
3452 And now ladies and gentleman, my classical rendition of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out". 1.2100 0.02982 300 252 33 15
3453 And now, from Rocky IV... 1.2100 0.02708 300 245 47 8
3454 ''No, there isn't intermission.'' 1.2098 0.02911 305 255 36 14
3455 Bare-knuckle piano playing is for savages. 1.2098 0.02876 286 236 40 10
3456 I started wearing them to stop sucking my thumb. Turned out I'm pretty darn good." 1.2098 0.02789 286 234 44 8
3457 How do I open this thing? 1.2098 0.02745 286 233 46 7
3458 For my encore, I have been requested to take off my gloves and play "The Theme from Rocky" 1.2097 0.02864 267 218 42 7
3459 I don't think I can box my way out of this one. 1.2096 0.02801 291 239 43 9
3460 And for my finale... The Flight of the Bumblebee challenge 1.2096 0.02925 291 242 37 12
3461 My next selection will be the only étude composed by the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2095 0.02931 296 247 36 13
3462 I do big sounds. 1.2095 0.02643 296 240 50 6
3463 ..if I finish and you're still clappin' i'll know for the first time in my life...that I weren't just a another bum from the conservatory. 1.2093 0.02700 301 246 47 8
3464 I could write something clever, but the New Yorker wouldn't get it. 1.2092 0.03110 282 238 29 15
3465 My first selection will be "Sonata for piano and bell". 1.2092 0.02943 282 234 37 11
3466 My dad wanted me to be a boxer and my mom wanted me to be a pianist. Please enjoy this next song, 'Gonna Fly Now'. 1.2092 0.02812 282 231 43 8
3467 Let's get ready to mambooooooooooooo! 1.2092 0.02902 306 256 36 14
3468 As part of my international series, a new composition on the Boxer Rebellion. 1.2091 0.03036 263 218 35 10
3469 Then your four-year-old must be a musical prodigy. 1.2091 0.03221 263 222 27 14
3470 The vocalist will not be joining us for this next song in the program. 1.2091 0.02786 263 213 45 5
3471 Beat me, daddy, eight to the bar! 1.2090 0.02797 311 258 41 12
3472 This next piece should be a knockout in the 7th. 1.2090 0.02644 311 254 49 8
3473 And now, after having finished the slow pieces of tonight's concert we're going to really punch up the tempo. 1.2090 0.02854 268 219 42 7
3474 This is a little piece I created called "All Thumbs". 1.2090 0.02805 268 218 44 6
3475 Yo Adrian, it's called Rocky V' Maninov..." 1.2090 0.03089 268 224 32 12
3476 Caution: This may knock you out. 1.2089 0.02792 292 240 43 9
3477 And for my next act... I will light a match with my toes. 1.2089 0.02750 292 239 45 8
3478 Can you be allergic to ivory? 1.2089 0.02750 292 239 45 8
3479 Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. The composer has indicated the following passage be played sforzando fortissississimo. 1.2088 0.02821 273 223 43 7
3480 Note like a butterfly, sting like a B minor. 1.2088 0.03050 273 228 33 12
3481 This is for Mr Stallone at the bar who has requested his nightly favorite, The Rocky Theme Song.... 1.2088 0.02635 297 241 50 6
3482 I will now play Bim Bang Bach in C Major 1.2088 0.02762 297 244 44 9
3483 I will now attempt the Boxer Rebellion Etude. Wish me luck. 1.2088 0.02762 297 244 44 9
3484 No, I cannot play chopsticks with these on. Anyone else? 1.2087 0.02808 321 268 39 14
3485 It's the Punch and Judy show......But Judy didn't show..... 1.2086 0.02925 278 230 38 10
3486 It's called 'No place to Haydn'. 1.2086 0.02881 278 229 40 9
3487 Despite claims that I'm punching above my weight,I will now attempt to knock out some Chopin. 1.2086 0.02812 302 250 41 11
3488 He's pretty good, but he always goes down during the Fifth." 1.2086 0.02732 302 248 45 9
3489 Tonight we're going 88 rounds! 1.2086 0.02650 302 246 49 7
3490 This piece will knock your socks off. 1.2086 0.02650 302 246 49 7
3491 Up next: Box Concerto in D Minor. 1.2085 0.02803 283 232 43 8
3492 My next song is a favorite by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2083 0.02941 288 240 36 12
3493 Why are the keys so tightly spaced? 1.2083 0.02714 312 257 45 10
3494 This piece is called the "Boxer Rebellion" 1.2083 0.02714 312 257 45 10
3495 For my encore, I will premier "Slam, Bam, Thank You Ma'am" by Michael Tyson in the key of "Whatever". 1.2083 0.02941 288 240 36 12
3496 I call this next number, "Fighting With My Inner Critic," in D minor. 1.2083 0.02858 288 238 40 10
3497 And now for the staccato portion... 1.2082 0.02759 317 263 42 12
3498 Anyone else object to "Surrey with the Fringe on Top" 1.2082 0.02795 317 264 40 13
3499 Bring up your instruments, I’ll take them all on 1.2082 0.02825 293 242 41 10
3500 Of course it’s Rachmaninov. 1.2082 0.02741 293 240 45 8
3501 Seeing that it’s almost closing, allow me to punch a quick one out for you. 1.2082 0.02698 293 239 47 7
3502 I shall play for you Muhammed Ali's Piano Concerto in B-Flat. 1.2082 0.02825 293 242 41 10
3503 Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie. 1.2082 0.02746 269 218 46 5
3504 And now Ladies and Gentlemen Beethoven's two fisted symphony in a left and a right and a... 1.2081 0.02659 322 265 47 10
3505 To consider this next song to be my biggest hit is a bit of an understatement.” 1.2080 0.02812 274 224 43 7
3506 Next is 'Ode to Mohammed Ali, Opus 1' 1.2080 0.02859 274 225 41 8
3507 I’m ready to duke it out with The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2079 0.02643 303 247 49 7
3508 I composed the next piece after hearing about beatboxing and before Googling it. 1.2079 0.03088 279 235 30 14
3509 It bit me during rehearsal... 1.2079 0.02780 279 228 44 7
3510 I will now perform John Cage’s 4’ 33”. 1.2078 0.02571 332 272 51 9
3511 I stand corrected, you really can punch the keys. 1.2078 0.02773 308 255 42 11
3512 I ain't no friend of the piano, see? 1.2078 0.02848 308 257 38 13
3513 This may only be a baby grand but it packs a powerful punch. 1.2077 0.02794 284 233 43 8
3514 The New Yorkers calls me a heavyweight 1.2077 0.02882 284 235 39 10
3515 Yo Adrienne! 1.2077 0.02925 284 236 37 11
3516 My next piece is a jab-jab-cross in 3/4 time 1.2077 0.02904 260 213 40 7
3517 Wouldn't want to tickle the ivories. 1.2076 0.02849 289 239 40 10
3518 This one is called "I Wanna Punch Your Lights Out." 1.2076 0.03013 289 243 32 14
3519 My ivory tickling was going too far, apparently. 1.2076 0.02763 289 237 44 8
3520 And I'd like to thank my parents who allowed me to pursue a career in boxing even though they had other ideas. 1.2075 0.02967 265 219 37 9
3521 This is a little number I call 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.' 1.2075 0.02690 294 240 47 7
3522 And now, the overture to one of my favorite contemporary operas, The Raging Bull. 1.2074 0.02883 270 222 40 8
3523 I am much better with drums 1.2074 0.02634 270 217 50 3
3524 I give you, the Ali Conceto. 1.2074 0.02532 299 241 54 4
3525 ...and this will be a real punchy number. 1.2074 0.02620 299 243 50 6
3526 In B flat. 1.2072 0.02756 304 251 43 10
3527 And now for some fancy footwork 1.2071 0.02862 280 231 40 9
3528 Next I shall play the flight of the bumble bee 1.2071 0.03077 280 236 30 14
3529 You should see the other guy! 1.2071 0.02950 280 233 36 11
3530 This next piece was written and recorded by Muhammad Ali 1.2071 0.02817 280 230 42 8
3531 And then I wrote “Sonata to a Left Uppercut .” 1.2071 0.02726 309 255 44 10
3532 Piano buffo? 1.2071 0.02765 309 256 42 11
3533 Asking only workman’s wages I come looking for a job . . . 1.2070 0.02957 285 238 35 12
3534 When they called him the Muhammad Ali of piano, I didn’t think it was so literal. 1.2070 0.02740 285 233 45 7
3535 And now, Flight of the Bumble Beast. 1.2069 0.02881 290 241 38 11
3536 For those who say my playing is too sensitive... 1.2069 0.02754 290 238 44 8
3537 And now, a Sex Pistols medley. 1.2068 0.02767 295 243 43 9
3538 And now, Prokofiev's piano concerto no. 5, written in one-two, one-two. 1.2068 0.02808 295 244 41 10
3539 I’m classically trained, but learning jazz. 1.2067 0.02696 300 246 46 8
3540 My composition is in the key of B-flat. 1.2066 0.02786 305 253 41 11
3541 I call this one 'Punch in the F-A-C-E. 1.2066 0.02708 305 251 45 9
3542 My next song is The Boxer. 1.2065 0.02697 276 224 47 5
3543 And now a song from the movie, Raging Bull . 1.2065 0.02793 276 226 43 7
3544 Please turn off all flash photography during the performance. 1.2065 0.03020 276 231 33 12
3545 I was always taught to punch the keys. 1.2064 0.02808 281 231 42 8
3546 This one is for all the drunks and suckers in the house. It goes one, two... 1.2063 0.02413 315 253 59 3
3547 I guarantee this next one will knock your socks off. 1.2063 0.02791 252 204 44 4
3548 You didn't tell me I was going to have to perform 'Chopsticks' 1.2063 0.02863 286 237 39 10
3549 ... next, your applause will determine whether I play Chopin’s Scherzo No. 2 or punch myself in the face. 1.2063 0.02989 286 240 33 13
3550 And now my interpretation of baby Mozart. 1.2062 0.02789 291 240 42 9
3551 And now I shall perform Etude to Discovering the Piano by a Three-Year-Old. 1.2062 0.02831 291 241 40 10
3552 I will now hum that song from Rocky. 1.2062 0.02746 291 239 44 8
3553 These ivories seem to be extra ticklish! 1.2061 0.02758 296 244 43 9
3554 It's Beethoven, not Bach. 1.2061 0.02840 296 246 39 11
3555 I don't want to spread my cold to the next contestant. 1.2061 0.02674 296 242 47 7
3556 Dueling Piano 1.2061 0.02799 296 245 41 10
3557 Marcato! 1.2061 0.02799 296 245 41 10
3558 ...and in..3..2..1! 1.2060 0.02899 267 220 39 8
3559 Tonight we will have 3 rounds of knock out piano sonatas. 1.2060 0.02899 267 220 39 8
3560 And now, something guaranteed to make you let down your guard. 1.2060 0.02517 301 243 54 4
3561 Please dim that spotlight. I can't see my hands. 1.2059 0.03048 272 228 32 12
3562 This is how I warm up. 1.2059 0.02564 272 218 52 2
3563 For those of you who doubt that the original name of this instrument was the pianoforte... 1.2059 0.02864 272 224 40 8
3564 Which would you prefer: Stravinsky's Pumchin' Ella Suite, or Mozart's Eine Kleine Knockout Music? 1.2059 0.02816 272 223 42 7
3565 "I've got a tough one coming up." 1.2059 0.02778 306 254 41 11
3566 And now, my rendition of 'The Boxer'---it really packs a punch! 1.2057 0.02645 316 260 47 9
3567 This next song was written by Paul Simon. 1.2057 0.02799 282 232 42 8
3568 And for my last piece, I will deliver a sucker punch to Schumann. 1.2057 0.02753 282 231 44 7
3569 My opponent has been talking trash about my glissandos, but his crescendos are pathetic. 1.2056 0.02723 287 235 45 7
3570 Beethoven's Hammerklavier sonata, cluster-chords, and glissandi: my work here is done. 1.2055 0.02605 292 237 50 5
3571 My manager told me to punch up the encore... 1.2055 0.02737 292 240 44 8
3572 ...but enough silly love songs. Time for some silly glove songs! 1.2055 0.02737 292 240 44 8
3573 Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. 1.2055 0.02780 292 241 42 9
3574 This keeps me from being all thumbs. 1.2054 0.02960 258 213 37 8
3575 Mr Musicreview wrote that I needed to add more punch to my tempo. Now lets see what he has to say. 1.2054 0.02960 258 213 37 8
3576 The forte begins when the gloves come off! 1.2054 0.02750 297 245 43 9
3577 The drummer cancelled so I'll have to keep the beat myself. 1.2053 0.02823 263 215 42 6
3578 Beat-often's Fifth. 1.2053 0.02800 302 251 40 11
3579 Wait, you mean to tell me this isn’t Canada and it’s not Boxing Day? 1.2053 0.02839 302 252 38 12
3580 This is my only way to knock out fifty songs a night. 1.2052 0.02808 307 256 39 12
3581 My next piece is Opus No. 19. by Mayweather. 1.2051 0.02855 273 225 40 8
3582 And now, Box Prelude in F. 1.2051 0.03082 273 230 30 13
3583 Pick any etude, I’ll nail it! 1.2050 0.02728 278 227 45 6
3584 Its a tough piece to master. 1.2050 0.02728 278 227 45 6
3585 But I'm still training. 1.2050 0.02867 278 230 39 9
3586 So, we will now perform THE PASTORAL SYMPHONY by Beethoven I am debuting a new interpretation of the storm. 1.2049 0.02878 283 235 38 10
3587 Play something punchy. 1.2049 0.02759 288 237 43 8
3588 And now, 'Bombast'. 1.2049 0.02845 288 239 39 10
3589 I shall now perform Wagner's 'Ring'. 1.2048 0.02771 293 242 42 9
3590 Sorry, I don't know anything by Paul Simon. 1.2047 0.03090 254 212 32 10
3591 I'm going for badass profondo. 1.2047 0.02987 254 210 36 8
3592 I had a fight with the rest of the quartet. 1.2047 0.02987 254 210 36 8
3593 Punching up the performance suddenly felt like a mistake. 1.2046 0.03099 259 217 31 11
3594 Yes, there was actually a lot of competition for this gig, now that you ask. How did you know? 1.2046 0.02794 259 211 43 5
3595 First some Beathoven, then Box Third Movement, and finishing with a TKOvsky's piece 1.2046 0.02792 303 252 40 11
3596 Tonight I'm going to play "Tyson" Sonata in be flat 1.2046 0.02712 303 250 44 9
3597 Next, the Mayweather concerto in e minor. 1.2046 0.02630 303 248 48 7
3598 first few notes of beethoven’s fifth is my favorite. 1.2045 0.02813 264 216 42 6
3599 For the very first time, sit back and savor the theme from "Rocky". 1.2045 0.02864 264 217 40 7
3600 This next rhapsody is a real knockout. 1.2045 0.03011 264 220 34 10
3601 For my encore I will now play “Left hook in G-minor.” 1.2045 0.02498 313 254 54 5
3602 I’ve always had a mixed relationship with this next piece. 1.2045 0.02974 269 224 35 10
3603 When I told you to order any gloves with Prime shipping, I did not mean ANY gloves. 1.2045 0.03020 269 225 33 11
3604 It's for the artillery chorus in the 2012 Overture... 1.2045 0.03020 269 225 33 11
3605 My mother said they'd protect my fingers. 1.2044 0.02741 318 265 41 12
3606 Think of it more as a performance. 1.2044 0.02750 274 224 44 6
3607 My next number is dedicated to the Marquess of Queensbury. 1.2044 0.02798 274 225 42 7
3608 Dat was "Ode to George Foreman", in E minor. 1.2044 0.02845 274 226 40 8
3609 You've never heard a sforzando quite like this!! 1.2044 0.03027 274 230 32 12
3610 Chopin is no match for me 1.2044 0.02701 274 223 46 5
3611 The 1812: Bells and cannons ready? Go! 1.2043 0.02813 279 230 41 8
3612 I will performing TKO and Fugue in D Minor. 1.2043 0.02903 279 232 37 10
3613 And now, friends, a little 'soft Rocky' music for your listening pleasure. 1.2043 0.02766 279 229 43 7
3614 I did hear he played with punch. 1.2042 0.02825 284 235 40 9
3615 ...but he said, dualing pianos?! 1.2042 0.02920 289 242 35 12
3616 Eye of the Tiger? Yeah, I know that one 1.2041 0.03004 294 249 30 15
3617 I'm rehearsing for a box set 1.2041 0.02886 294 246 36 12
3618 I've got the beat --down. 1.2040 0.02774 299 248 41 10
3619 I am now going to perform a song by Simon and Garfunkel 1.2040 0.02854 299 250 37 12
3620 And now, 4'33". 1.2040 0.02692 299 246 45 8
3621 I said, "I don't take requests!!" 1.2040 0.02774 299 248 41 10
3622 I am just the page turner. 1.2039 0.02822 304 254 38 12
3623 And now a little thing I like to call, 'On the Waterfront.' 1.2039 0.02704 304 251 44 9
3624 I am qualified to be the president's greatest Chief of Staff ever! I can do anything.. . . anything. 1.2039 0.02783 304 253 40 11
3625 So, who wished for "Eye of the tiger"? 1.2039 0.02664 304 250 46 8
3626 Please be sure to sing along if you recognize this tricky old tune. 1.2039 0.02664 304 250 46 8
3627 Next, THE BOXER by Simon and Garfunkel!!! You’ll G-love it!! 1.2039 0.02637 309 254 47 8
3628 And now "The Boxing Blues" 1.2039 0.02676 309 255 45 9
3629 No, I don't know any punchy tunes! 1.2039 0.02791 309 258 39 12
3630 My new invention makes glissando a snap .... but staccatissimo is impossible. 1.2038 0.02904 265 219 38 8
3631 Float like a butterfly, play chords in B. 1.2037 0.02917 270 224 37 9
3632 This next one is Beethoven's 9th Symphony - the Rocky Balboa version. 1.2036 0.02789 275 226 42 7
3633 So far so good. Now, with the gloves on, what is this one? 1.2036 0.02928 275 229 36 10
3634 And now, before I take off my gloves, let me show you my Rachmaninoff. 1.2036 0.02803 280 231 41 8
3635 Yes...and Richter and Monet destroyed some of their works of art. So what's your point 1.2036 0.02849 280 232 39 9
3636 And now my favorite request, the "Knockout" in B Major! 1.2035 0.02772 285 235 42 8
3637 Well, what did you expect, madame? It was billed as a Dueling Piano show. 1.2034 0.02991 290 245 31 14
3638 And now, the Tyson Piano Sonata in B flat major. 1.2034 0.02869 290 242 37 11
3639 The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. 1.2034 0.02951 290 244 33 13
3640 The next piece was originally performed by Simon and Garfunkel 1.2034 0.02742 290 239 43 8
3641 This sonata is all about nimble finger work, and a good left hook. 1.2034 0.02742 290 239 43 8
3642 My next piece will be a concert for four hands, but Mike Tyson couldn't make it. 1.2034 0.02626 295 241 48 6
3643 Glen was feeling creatively boxed in. 1.2033 0.02725 300 248 43 9
3644 Now, for my rendition of The Rocky Concerto 1.2033 0.02805 300 250 39 11
3645 Now for my encore, “Sting of the Bumblebee.” 1.2033 0.02656 305 251 46 8
3646 I wrote it in the Boxa Nova genre 1.2032 0.02717 315 262 42 11
3647 I just think Rachmaninoff's no. 2 needs a little punching up. 1.2030 0.02990 266 222 34 10
3648 This is dedicated to ‘Rocky’ 1.2030 0.02743 266 217 44 5
3649 And now to pound out a little different beat. 1.2030 0.02743 266 217 44 5
3650 ¨As humans, this is the closest we can get to Thelonious¨ 1.2029 0.02918 276 230 36 10
3651 Was aiming for a punchy staccato. Precision, not so much. 1.2029 0.02918 276 230 36 10
3652 This next piece is called ‘Bopsticks.’ 1.2028 0.02928 281 235 35 11
3653 I shall now perform John Cage's 4'33", to be filmed by Andy Warhol. 1.2028 0.02893 286 239 36 11
3654 Huh, she was right. These gloves don’t go well with the suit after all. 1.2027 0.02818 291 242 39 10
3655 And in 1998 I knocked out a guy named Steinway. 1.2027 0.02733 291 240 43 8
3656 My next selection is the theme song from 'Rocky' 1.2027 0.02860 291 243 37 11
3657 Alright, I’ll stick to chords! 1.2027 0.02818 291 242 39 10
3658 My next bout is Prokofiev's Sonata #6. 1.2027 0.02828 296 247 38 11
3659 You can call me Mittstro. 1.2027 0.02908 296 249 34 13
3660 Yo, Adrian! It's me, Rocky. I don’t think I can beat this guy. 1.2027 0.02746 296 245 42 9
3661 What do you mean by "forte" fortissimo? 1.2027 0.02460 301 243 55 3
3662 Oh, yeah....who's next? I'll give you a sonata right in the Steinway. 1.2026 0.02728 306 254 42 10
3663 For my next number, Sonata a la Ali 1.2026 0.02699 311 258 43 10
3664 Chopsticks -- that's it. You were expecting maybe Mozart? 1.2026 0.02775 311 260 39 12
3665 Ladies and gentlemen, Beethoven’s Last Movement. 1.2025 0.02517 316 258 52 6
3666 I thought the point was to create as much dissonance as possible? 1.2024 0.02940 252 208 37 7
3667 Appears I'm a bit ham-fisted today.... 1.2023 0.02797 257 210 42 5
3668 They said to play it as if I had gloves on...these were the only ones I could find. 1.2022 0.02835 267 220 40 7
3669 Tonight,I introduce a new work "Massacre in A" by Klitschko. 1.2022 0.02802 272 224 41 7
3670 I, too, don't understand this gig. 1.2021 0.02961 282 237 33 12
3671 First, a little Rocky Mananoff followed by my own Bachster medley. 1.2021 0.02755 287 237 42 8
3672 This is what happens when you tickle the wrong ivories. 1.2021 0.02755 287 237 42 8
3673 ...they increase the bass response. 1.2021 0.02637 292 239 47 6
3674 It's cutting edge in Post-Modern music. 1.2021 0.02892 292 245 35 12
3675 I'm also a part time nurse. 1.2021 0.02681 292 240 45 7
3676 Oh, a 'jaunty' tune. I thought you said 'punchy,' Madame. 1.2020 0.02626 302 248 47 7
3677 Dun Dun Dun Dun! 1.2020 0.02584 302 247 49 6
3678 This next piece is originally by Tyson. 1.2020 0.02749 302 251 41 10
3679 It’s light on notes. 1.2019 0.02653 312 258 45 9
3680 I can't play with cold hands 1.2016 0.03035 253 211 33 9
3681 And now for my next number, the Tyson Concerto in A Minor 1.2016 0.02945 258 214 36 8
3682 And now Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. 1.2015 0.02808 263 216 41 6
3683 And now, Chopin sans arpeggios 1.2015 0.02808 263 216 41 6
3684 I play with my boxer shorts on too! 1.2015 0.02923 268 223 36 9
3685 ♫♫ I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told... ♫♫ 1.2015 0.02793 273 225 41 7
3686 And now, ladies and gentlemen: Rocky 3. 1.2015 0.02793 273 225 41 7
3687 I didn't ask for these hands, sir. You're the one who bought tickets. 1.2015 0.02888 273 227 37 9
3688 Ladies and Gentlemen, for my encore I will play a real smash hit! 1.2015 0.02888 273 227 37 9
3689 And now for my rendition of The Boxer 1.2015 0.02793 273 225 41 7
3690 This next number's going down by the second verse. 1.2015 0.02793 273 225 41 7
3691 Who said I'm all thumbs? 1.2014 0.02808 278 230 40 8
3692 Are you sure Billy Joel started this way? 1.2014 0.02943 278 233 34 11
3693 I can punch out this symphony in 11/16ths time. 1.2014 0.02776 283 234 41 8
3694 One more low blow and Steinway is disqualified 1.2014 0.02638 283 231 47 5
3695 That last one was by Chopin. And now, a piece by Punchin. 1.2014 0.02909 283 237 35 11
3696 It's safe to remove your ear plugs. 1.2014 0.02790 288 239 40 9
3697 In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade... 1.2014 0.02833 288 240 38 10
3698 Next, I will play possum. 1.2014 0.02917 288 242 34 12
3699 The music industry is getting competitive. 1.2014 0.02538 293 238 51 4
3700 It’s a safety thing. 1.2014 0.02801 293 244 39 10
3701 This isn’t what I meant when I said we should play a music box. 1.2014 0.02963 293 248 31 14
3702 In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade...li la li 1.2014 0.02584 293 239 49 5
3703 I need the score for this number! 1.2013 0.02645 298 245 46 7
3704 Float like Jarrett, sting like Monk. 1.2013 0.02687 298 246 44 8
3705 I will now play the 'Flight of the Rumble Bee'. 1.2013 0.02729 298 247 42 9
3706 Oh excuse me! These are real ivory, and you paid a $3 cover. 1.2013 0.02770 298 248 40 10
3707 I can promise you’ll never hear Alkan’s ‘Concerto for Solo Piano’ the same way again. 1.2008 0.02972 254 211 35 8
3708 The next piece is a punchy rendition of O Holy Night. 1.2008 0.03024 254 212 33 9
3709 It’s fortissississimo all the way, all the way! 1.2008 0.02997 264 221 33 10
3710 I’ve had a request for Music Dance Boxer. 1.2007 0.02865 269 223 38 8
3711 My uncle went to Julliard,so I'm pretty sure I know how to hit the notes. 1.2007 0.02831 274 227 39 8
3712 Okay, I got it. Float like a butterfly and sting like’ the flight of the bumblebee.’ 1.2007 0.02799 279 231 40 8
3713 Box Piano Concerto No. 1 1.2007 0.02722 284 234 43 7
3714 Adrian? Adriaaaan! 1.2007 0.02722 284 234 43 7
3715 And now I’ll be playing Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 4, better known as the one where Rocky fights the Russian. 1.2007 0.02648 289 237 46 6
3716 Rachmaninoff. 1.2007 0.02824 289 241 38 10
3717 As seen on TV: pound the keys without pain. Guaranteed or your money back. 1.2007 0.02833 294 246 37 11
3718 And now the mitt fit concerto world premiere 1.2007 0.02750 294 244 41 9
3719 And for the next song from my greatest hits CD... 1.2007 0.02833 294 246 37 11
3720 The conductor told me he looking for musicians with fistfuls of talent. 1.2006 0.02742 309 258 40 11
3721 At the bell I will perform "Ode to Adrian", by Rocky Balboa. 1.2006 0.02559 314 258 49 7
3722 Could you stop coughing? You’re ruining my concentration. 1.2006 0.02676 314 261 43 10
3723 Shall I play The Boxer? 1.2006 0.02622 324 269 45 10
3724 And now for a completely new attack on the Rachmaninov No. 2! 1.2000 0.02839 265 219 39 7
3725 To prove that I hold no grudges, the next complicated piece is in honor of the critic who recently wrote about me that, ‘He plays the piano with fingers permanently wrapped in bandages ensconced in boxing gloves.’’’ 1.2000 0.02685 290 239 44 7
3726 Please,no requests for Chopsticks. 1.2000 0.02742 295 245 41 9
3727 No, sorry. 88 Fingers Louie couldn’t make it tonight. I’m 2 Gloves Sal. 1.2000 0.02801 255 209 41 5
3728 And now, for the Symphony Fight Song. 1.2000 0.02803 285 237 39 9
3729 And now a word from our sponsor, Everlast. 1.2000 0.02671 300 248 44 8
3730 With the holidays coming up, I will now play, "Boxing Day Blues." 1.2000 0.02744 280 231 42 7
3731 And my next piece is titled Nail Biters Lament. 1.2000 0.02880 280 234 36 10
3732 And now we move from Beethoven's works to Bach's. 1.2000 0.02939 290 245 32 13
3733 I knew you VanCliburn guys changed the audition protocol, but this? 1.2000 0.02855 270 224 38 8
3734 Music Therapy "Bring to mind the image of your music teacher and proceed to pound." 1.2000 0.02809 310 261 36 13
3735 I will now play chopsticks 1.2000 0.02835 280 233 38 9
3736 I'm taking an eight count. 1.2000 0.02938 265 221 35 9
3737 Do-Re-Mi-Jab-Cross-Hook 1.2000 0.02744 280 231 42 7
3738 You Beat Me to the Punch by The Temptations in C major seventh. 1.2000 0.02714 285 235 43 7
3739 I'd now like to play Everlast Love. 1.2000 0.02742 295 245 41 9
3740 I like to end with the 1-2 upper-cut cord progression 1.2000 0.02649 280 229 46 5
3741 I'm going to play Mozart's all thumbs sonata in E major. 1.2000 0.02835 280 233 38 9
3742 And, after sparing a little with my friend Mozart , it's now time to take off the gloves and duke it out with one Sergei Rachmaninoff. 1.2000 0.02684 305 253 43 9
3743 The odds are 2 to 1 for Bach over Mozart. 1.2000 0.02649 280 229 46 5
3744 I'll now be taking a quick break to make a momentous life decision. 1.2000 0.02644 305 252 45 8
3745 This is a little something George Forman wrote when he was a bit woozy after a bout. 1.1993 0.02785 301 252 38 11
3746 Hum a few bars, I think I know that one ! 1.1993 0.02763 291 242 40 9
3747 And now my latest rendition of “Baby it’s cold outside.” 1.1993 0.02838 286 239 37 10
3748 Now, listen to this beat! 1.1993 0.02705 286 236 43 7
3749 In this political climate, I ‘m always prepared to hit back. 1.1993 0.02688 281 231 44 6
3750 I'm often referred to as a "technical knockout." 1.1993 0.02915 281 236 34 11
3751 They think my tux looks stupid, don't they? 1.1993 0.02765 276 228 41 7
3752 And now...a little Toughaikovsky. 1.1993 0.02905 276 231 35 10
3753 This next piece is more avant-mouthguard. 1.1993 0.02765 276 228 41 7
3754 And now we begin the "Rocky" Concerto No. 4 in G Major. 1.1993 0.02813 276 229 39 8
3755 Applause is highly encouraged. 1.1993 0.02940 271 227 34 10
3756 What? A TKO? But we're only in the first rondo! 1.1992 0.02879 266 221 37 8
3757 And now, the Punch Drunk Concerto in C Minor. 1.1992 0.02879 266 221 37 8
3758 Man vs. Piano: "Modernism? I'll show you Modernism!" 1.1992 0.02976 266 223 33 10
3759 I heard of "all thumbs" but this is ridiculous 1.1992 0.02830 266 220 39 7
3760 And now, U of M's fight song 1.1992 0.02863 261 216 38 7
3761 ARE...YOU...READY...TO...RRRUMBLE?!? 1.1992 0.02916 246 203 37 6
3762 They give my pianissimos a pugilistic touch. 1.1987 0.02763 317 267 37 13
3763 I'd like to thank my mom for this next song, titled "Stop Itching Your Poison Ivy." 1.1987 0.02615 317 263 45 9
3764 This next number is from my box set. 1.1987 0.02747 307 257 39 11
3765 I'd like to play for you a little 12- round blues. 1.1987 0.02628 307 254 45 8
3766 This next piece is in key KO sharp 1.1987 0.02668 307 255 43 9
3767 Fight me. In B minor. 1.1987 0.02571 302 248 48 6
3768 Ladies and gentleman, my psychiatrist says I have to stop tickling the ivories. 1.1987 0.02597 297 244 47 6
3769 And now I'm going to play my discordant Mazurka No.1 in E. I don't know if it is sharp or flat. I hope you like it. 1.1987 0.02683 297 246 43 8
3770 Oooo...the 1812 Overture, You bet I can do that.... 1.1987 0.02766 297 248 39 10
3771 For tonight's main event, I will perform for you 'Chopsticks'" 1.1987 0.02847 297 250 35 12
3772 without further ado, I bring you the theme from Rocky, "I will fly now" 1.1986 0.02712 292 242 42 8
3773 What do you mean, "tickle the ivories?" 1.1986 0.02623 292 240 46 6
3774 Next is a selection from the Ring Cycle, sung as a round. 1.1986 0.02668 292 241 44 7
3775 'This next was first performed molto vovace by my three-year-old.' 1.1986 0.02578 292 239 48 5
3776 Lean, mean, piano playing machine. 1.1986 0.02785 287 239 39 9
3777 Next, the theme song from "Punch-Drunk Love" 1.1986 0.02651 287 236 45 6
3778 As my first selection, I now give you "Chopsticks." 1.1986 0.02772 282 234 40 8
3779 Please sing along while I knock out 15 rounds of "Row, Row, Row your Boat". 1.1986 0.02660 277 227 45 5
3780 And now for you my new piano concerto, "Slugfest in B Flatten". 1.1986 0.02803 277 230 39 8
3781 In the lobby after the show, I'll be selling my box set. 1.1986 0.02803 277 230 39 8
3782 The pugilist in me will now pound out a familiar martial score. 1.1986 0.02756 277 229 41 7
3783 I usually get a standing O, but tonight I’ll take a standing 8!” 1.1985 0.02883 272 227 36 9
3784 For my next number, I will pound out Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Blue.' 1.1985 0.02869 267 222 37 8
3785 Wait, you asked if I could play "mitten on the keys", right? 1.1985 0.02869 267 222 37 8
3786 And now, 'Variations on the Theme from "Rocky" .' 1.1985 0.02918 267 223 35 9
3787 Sure I take requests - as long as its 'Chopsticks' 1.1985 0.02770 267 220 41 6
3788 Pianissimo anyone? 1.1985 0.02802 262 216 40 6
3789 Ol' Black and Blue Eyes. 1.1983 0.02942 242 200 36 6
3790 Any fans of Bach's? 1.1981 0.02619 323 269 44 10
3791 ....but the music says molto softo 1.1981 0.02569 318 263 47 8
3792 This melody is going to hit you like a punch in the face. 1.1981 0.02569 318 263 47 8
3793 This is gonna get nuts real fast. 1.1981 0.02700 308 257 41 10
3794 Any other comments on my Mozart? 1.1981 0.02580 308 254 47 7
3795 I apologize for the brutality you are about to hear in three rounds. 1.1980 0.02520 303 248 50 5
3796 For my next trick... 1.1980 0.02799 298 250 37 11
3797 And now a piece from The Nut Cracker 1.1980 0.02500 298 243 51 4
3798 If the flutist can have his mouth guard, I get to keep these. 1.1980 0.02758 298 249 39 10
3799 I will now play Knuckles." 1.1979 0.02776 288 240 39 9
3800 A warning to those of you expecting "Chopsticks." 1.1979 0.02688 288 238 43 7
3801 When I do box, they call me 'Kid Baby Grand'. 1.1979 0.02643 288 237 45 6
3802 I didn't want to be handled with kid-gloves,but, this is ludicrous. 1.1979 0.02643 288 237 45 6
3803 I swear coach told me this was the right Gymnopédie! 1.1979 0.02820 288 241 37 10
3804 I call my next piece, Could Someone Please Come Scratch My Nose 1.1979 0.02808 283 236 38 9
3805 Now a little known piece from Boxtehude 1.1979 0.02981 283 240 30 13
3806 I like to lace up for Der Ring. 1.1979 0.02623 283 232 46 5
3807 Smooth Jazz? 1.1979 0.02763 283 235 40 8
3808 C, D, E, F, G, K. O... 1.1979 0.02717 283 234 42 7
3809 And next I'll be playing my interpretation of 'The Boxer'. 1.1978 0.02602 278 227 47 4
3810 For my next selection, I'm going to attempt a very difficult composition that I've been fighting to learn. It requires dexterity and expert fingering. 1.1978 0.02747 278 230 41 7
3811 I can still do "Chop Sticks" 1.1978 0.03011 273 231 30 12
3812 What I said was "with one hand tied behind my back"! 1.1978 0.02629 273 223 46 4
3813 Is it cold in here, or is it just me? 1.1978 0.02729 273 225 42 6
3814 And now for my impression of the late great Bobby Short. 1.1978 0.02920 273 229 34 10
3815 And now my gloves on rendition of the theme song from the film Rocky 1.1978 0.02920 273 229 34 10
3816 And now: Fisticuffs Etude ala’ Cage. 1.1977 0.02844 263 218 38 7
3817 I coulda been a piano masta 1.1977 0.02944 263 220 34 9
3818 Another round? Harmony or counterpoint? 1.1977 0.02894 263 219 36 8
3819 Well the position said it was for a keypunch operator. 1.1977 0.02981 258 216 33 9
3820 Now a few tunes from that indie-rock group, The Boxer Rebellion 1.1976 0.02913 253 210 36 7
3821 Vladimir Ali is shocked by his 10 stanza penalty for hitting below the keyboard. 1.1975 0.02587 314 260 46 8
3822 On second thought, my next piece is much better suited for a cappella. 1.1974 0.02692 309 258 41 10
3823 For the second round, I am going to take a more creative approach. 1.1973 0.02667 299 248 43 8
3824 This piano is tough to play. 1.1973 0.02738 294 245 40 9
3825 E sharp is way off 1.1973 0.02981 294 251 28 15
3826 This part of the song requires you to punch things up. 1.1972 0.02811 289 242 37 10
3827 Sorry folks, but the muffle pedal isn't working. 1.1972 0.02799 284 237 38 9
3828 And now I'd like to play a little number called, "Punching the Ivories." 1.1971 0.02876 279 234 35 10
3829 Available on pay-per-view only, this Saturday. 1.1971 0.02817 274 228 38 8
3830 The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not sing about Fight Club. 1.1971 0.03001 274 232 30 12
3831 I will now continue with works by Motzhurt and Beatoven. 1.1970 0.02751 269 222 41 6
3832 I'm only playing "The Black Keys" 1.1969 0.02815 259 214 39 6
3833 The audience immediately felt the weight of this political metaphor. 1.1969 0.02868 259 215 37 7
3834 And now my latest composition, which I call ‘Ten Rounds of Agony.’ 1.1969 0.02815 259 214 39 6
3835 Now for my next piece is LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” . 1.1968 0.02618 315 262 44 9
3836 It's just a forte when I play 1.1967 0.02631 305 253 44 8
3837 And now, allegro for ten toes. 1.1966 0.02687 295 245 42 8
3838 And now I will play some chin music for you. 1.1966 0.02687 295 245 42 8
3839 At this point in the program I get quite punchy. 1.1966 0.02771 295 247 38 10
3840 This is going to take your breath away! 1.1966 0.02643 295 244 44 7
3841 For my next selection, I'll pound out a selection of sentimental nonsense. 1.1966 0.02643 295 244 44 7
3842 I know you all wanted a Rocky themed event, but this might prove challenging. 1.1966 0.02580 290 238 47 5
3843 I shall now perform Brzęczyszczykiewicz's 'Concerto for Piano and Boxing Gloves.' 1.1966 0.02886 290 245 33 12
3844 My next selection is ‘Slopsticks.’ 1.1966 0.02886 290 245 33 12
3845 As a pugilist pianist I prefer to pound the piano 1.1966 0.02715 290 241 41 8
3846 Hit it, Maestro! I’m ready to pound those keys! 1.1966 0.02534 290 237 49 4
3847 All I can play is 'The Rocky Theme' or 'A Piano Being Beaten to Death (in C minor)'. 1.1964 0.02729 280 232 41 7
3848 Well, it's really only my voice they're interested in anyway. 1.1964 0.02760 275 228 40 7
3849 This Baby has been fighting me ever since I was five years old. 1.1964 0.02808 275 229 38 8
3850 Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven. 1.1964 0.02711 275 227 42 6
3851 My piano technique? I just float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, tickling these ivories 1.1963 0.02587 270 220 47 3
3852 It would be remembered as a poor performance if the cellphone had not gone off 1.1963 0.02791 270 224 39 7
3853 It's not time to take the gloves off. 1.1963 0.02508 321 265 49 7
3854 That was the theme from Rocky III. Now here’s IV. 1.1962 0.02924 265 222 34 9
3855 This next one tugs at the eardrums. 1.1962 0.02824 265 220 38 7
3856 Are you sure this will get me a hit? 1.1962 0.02760 316 267 36 13
3857 The suit and piano are just for show. 1.1962 0.02752 260 214 41 5
3858 SRO for the TKO. 1.1961 0.02582 306 253 46 7
3859 He composed his first concerto when he was six months old. 1.1960 0.02813 301 254 35 12
3860 Boxing Day Overtures 1.1960 0.02566 301 248 47 6
3861 I’m concerned the minor fall will be misconstrued as taking a dive. 1.1959 0.02678 296 246 42 8
3862 It's by Khachaturian. 1.1959 0.02678 296 246 42 8
3863 Umm, are these things on? 1.1959 0.02635 296 245 44 7
3864 Allow me to punch in a few of your favorite tunes 1.1959 0.02835 291 245 35 11
3865 Too much bass? 1.1959 0.02835 291 245 35 11
3866 Now my own original piece, 'Bach's Gloves' 1.1959 0.02793 291 244 37 10
3867 Rocky Balboa. Why do you ask? 1.1958 0.02691 286 237 42 7
3868 My next number is a real knock-out song. 1.1957 0.02767 281 234 39 8
3869 Too early for gloves off? 1.1957 0.02703 276 228 42 6
3870 It's my new brand. The critics say I play like I'm wearing boxing gloves. 1.1957 0.02540 322 267 47 8
3871 It's time to get in the ring...cycle. 1.1957 0.02798 276 230 38 8
3872 This may look a bit bizarre ladies and gentlemen, but somehow I have misplaced my hockey stick. 1.1956 0.02972 271 229 31 11
3873 Break a LEG next time 1.1956 0.02879 271 227 35 9
3874 And now, Ludwig von Marciano's Eight Round in D Minor 1.1956 0.02926 271 228 33 10
3875 I can't land the hook 1.1956 0.02831 271 226 37 8
3876 I'm doing my grand finale in the first round. 1.1955 0.02550 312 258 47 7
3877 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the theme song from 'Rocky'. 1.1955 0.02764 266 220 40 6
3878 This evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to pound out Chopin's Nocturne in B Sharp Minor. 1.1955 0.02814 266 221 38 7
3879 This fighter is a natural, Jim. His punches are sharp, despite being a bit flat-footed, and that accidental in the 5th measure was fairly minor. He should have no trouble walking out with A Major victory tonight. 1.1954 0.02949 261 219 33 9
3880 And my favorite chord; a four octave G minor 7th. 1.1953 0.02987 256 215 32 9
3881 Boxing in E flat 1.1953 0.02627 297 246 44 7
3882 -The piece ends in a fiery double octave scale run down the keyboard. 1.1952 0.02654 292 242 43 7
3883 I hope you like Bach's music. 1.1952 0.02698 292 243 41 8
3884 Jam ? I thought you wanted to jab 1.1951 0.02772 287 240 38 9
3885 This us my homage to Boxing Day 1.1951 0.02543 287 235 48 4
3886 I like to call this one the Pizzicato Palooka. 1.1950 0.02712 282 234 41 7
3887 This is a performance art piece where I pummel the keys into submission. I always win. 1.1950 0.02665 282 233 43 6
3888 And now a tribute piece I call “Sting of the Bumblebee.” 1.1950 0.02665 282 233 43 6
3889 I thought I’d punch up this next number. See what I did there? I can be funny too ... and for Josh’s information, the word is pronounced ‘pianist.’” 1.1949 0.02789 277 231 38 8
3890 If I speed thru the Rachmaninov concerto I can still make my fight 1.1949 0.02694 277 229 42 6
3891 This next part I call the Mike Tyson finale. 1.1949 0.02542 313 259 47 7
3892 Hey Shostakovitch, I know they don't want me to win, but... seriously? 1.1949 0.02869 272 228 35 9
3893 My next medley will be Eye of the Tiger, Rock Me, and Kaboom. 1.1948 0.02648 308 257 42 9
3894 You want me to break its leg? 1.1948 0.02608 308 256 44 8
3895 I wear these to keep from going blind. 1.1948 0.02952 267 225 32 10
3896 And now a Simon and Garfunkel tune 1.1948 0.02805 267 222 38 7
3897 You have heard of a lead foot, now you have heavy hands. 1.1948 0.02855 267 223 36 8
3898 For my next performance, I will be playing the theme from the movie Rocky. 1.1947 0.02756 303 255 37 11
3899 it's a big sound when the leathers hit the ivories 1.1946 0.02576 298 246 46 6
3900 Now, I will play "Boxer on a G String." 1.1946 0.02704 298 249 40 9
3901 Lay em out again Sam. 1.1946 0.03027 257 217 30 10
3902 Now for my new arrangement of John Cage's 4'33",on steroids. 1.1945 0.02859 293 248 33 12
3903 Now let's hear you say my music has no beat 1.1945 0.02556 293 241 47 5
3904 Did I win? 1.1944 0.02674 288 239 42 7
3905 Geoffrey could think of only one way to honor Ali. 1.1944 0.02629 288 238 44 6
3906 Now we present...Punch de Rhythm in C Minor 1.1944 0.02629 288 238 44 6
3907 Just trying to punch up my jam. 1.1944 0.02807 288 242 36 10
3908 Now I'd like to play a tune which was a favorite of Muhammad Ali. 1.1944 0.03014 252 212 31 9
3909 Prepare yourselves for an eight count knockout. 1.1944 0.02582 288 237 46 5
3910 Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. California can hear my fortissimo from Carnegie. 1.1943 0.02703 283 235 41 7
3911 And the boxer on the bus goes Wham Bam Bam.” 1.1943 0.02926 283 240 31 12
3912 And now a selection form “Rocky “ 1.1943 0.02560 283 232 47 4
3913 And now for some of my more obscure hits... 1.1943 0.02883 283 239 33 11
3914 Now, a prelude to Beethoven's Fifth! 1.1942 0.02780 278 232 38 8
3915 Gloves, Maestro, Please ?? 1.1942 0.02917 278 235 32 11
3916 My next selection, Boxers concerto in G minor. 1.1942 0.02872 278 234 34 10
3917 I'll pound out your favorite for a small fee. 1.1942 0.02640 309 258 42 9
3918 And now, my rendition of Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" 1.1940 0.02745 268 222 40 6
3919 I plan to finish it. 1.1940 0.02654 299 249 42 8
3920 And now, the unfinished symphony! 1.1940 0.02818 299 253 34 12
3921 Play Rocky for me. 1.1940 0.02654 299 249 42 8
3922 My next tune, The Boxer. 1.1939 0.02549 294 242 47 5
3923 Give me an A! 1.1939 0.02638 294 244 43 7
3924 But I don't know 'Rhapsody in Black and Blue!' 1.1938 0.02620 289 239 44 6
3925 Our first piece tonight is "Vivaldi's K.O. in the First Round." 1.1938 0.02666 289 240 42 7
3926 No...I’m not a showoff! As a kid I just loved Rocky movies and Rachmaninoff. 1.1938 0.02574 289 238 46 5
3927 I was booked for "The Battle of the Dueling Pianos" 1.1938 0.02754 289 242 38 9
3928 The conductor won’t fight me on the next piece. He’s Haydn 1.1938 0.02840 289 244 34 11
3929 And now from Simon & Garfunkel 1.1937 0.03156 253 216 25 12
3930 And then I threw a left hook in A-minor. 1.1937 0.02740 284 237 39 8
3931 T-K-PianO 1.1937 0.02830 284 239 35 10
3932 When you apply for the wrong job and still get 1.1937 0.02830 284 239 35 10
3933 Alright, who took my sheet music? 1.1937 0.02740 284 237 39 8
3934 And now, the theme from "Jaws". 1.1937 0.02694 284 236 41 7
3935 Now for my piano transcription from the Ring! 1.1937 0.02873 284 240 33 11
3936 Knuckle Down Winsocki, Knuckle Down 1.1935 0.02628 279 230 44 5
3937 Ta rah rah BOOM de aye!! 1.1935 0.02817 279 234 36 9
3938 And now for a somber rendition of T.K.O in C major. 1.1935 0.02552 310 257 46 7
3939 A one and a two and a one two punch. 1.1934 0.02754 274 228 39 7
3940 Now we will punch up the tempo and add a bit pzazz to this Rachmaninov piano concerto 1.1934 0.02705 274 227 41 6
3941 Does anyone out there have a spare set of chopsticks? 1.1933 0.02603 300 249 44 7
3942 This piece is now in hommage to Muhammad Ali. 1.1933 0.02646 300 250 42 8
3943 Applaud or I'll punch you in the nose. 1.1933 0.02579 269 220 46 3
3944 I will now play Bach’s Boxer Fugue in F Major/Minor 1.1933 0.02684 269 222 42 5
3945 What 's the punchline? 1.1932 0.02630 295 245 43 7
3946 This next piece is called "Boxing Sonata #2." 1.1932 0.02541 295 243 47 5
3947 This is dedicated to the memory of “The Boxer Rebellion. 1.1932 0.02758 295 248 37 10
3948 And now my rendition of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” 1.1932 0.02767 264 219 39 6
3949 Next, Iron Buttlerfly's interpretation of "Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.1931 0.02657 290 241 42 7
3950 Now I will perform the TKO. 1.1931 0.02612 290 240 44 6
3951 And for my encore, ‘Variations on Louie Louie!’ 1.1931 0.02746 290 243 38 9
3952 .... and how the theme from "Rocky" ... 1.1929 0.02887 254 212 35 7
3953 I will now pound out my latest opus. 1.1928 0.02570 306 254 45 7
3954 Piansubmissimo? 1.1927 0.02578 327 274 43 10
3955 This may sound a little off-key. I just got back from the gym. 1.1926 0.02874 270 227 34 9
3956 It's okay. I'm a keyboard genius. 1.1926 0.02826 270 226 36 8
3957 And now, 'Coup de Lune' by Cassius Claude Debussy. 1.1926 0.02912 296 253 29 14
3958 Next, my version of Nancy Pelosi's budget blues. 1.1926 0.02622 296 246 43 7
3959 Is someone recording this? 1.1925 0.02909 265 223 33 9
3960 Sam played only fortissimo. 1.1925 0.02859 265 222 35 8
3961 Imma nockturne you out. 1.1924 0.02693 291 243 40 8
3962 Can you, Sir, find a better way to bring Pollock to the piano? 1.1923 0.02631 286 237 43 6
3963 This tender number is about to become more tender. 1.1923 0.02767 286 240 37 9
3964 This next selection is entitled "The Terrible Twos." 1.1922 0.02562 307 255 45 7
3965 I am not a real pianist; I just play one on TV. 1.1922 0.02562 307 255 45 7
3966 This is the first performance of Rach 3 with gloves on. 1.1922 0.02799 281 236 36 9
3967 I’m actually a featherweight according to this scale. 1.1922 0.02799 281 236 36 9
3968 And now, the Goldberg variations. 1.1922 0.02799 281 236 36 9
3969 Which round are we up to my good sir? 1.1922 0.02706 281 234 40 7
3970 My Sforzando tends to be too forceful. 1.1922 0.02767 255 211 39 5
3971 And now my rendition of Kitty Cat Sonata 1.1920 0.02831 276 232 35 9
3972 Let’s get ready to rrrumble! 1.1919 0.02741 297 250 37 10
3973 This will be a real bash. 1.1919 0.02657 297 248 41 8
3974 This way, I can play more notes at once. 1.1919 0.02614 297 247 43 7
3975 And now..." Mama Said Knock You Out" in E flat. 1.1919 0.02666 271 224 42 5
3976 And now for my interpretation of Ravel's concerto for the left hook. 1.1918 0.02504 292 240 48 4
3977 I couldn't make it as a concert pianist so now I’m a performance artist. 1.1918 0.02596 292 242 44 6
3978 And now, The Pugilism Concerto 1.1918 0.02596 292 242 44 6
3979 In my next round, I will be playing.... 1.1916 0.02888 287 244 31 12
3980 This is the only way to make “Chopsticks” impressive. 1.1916 0.02883 261 219 34 8
3981 Every tenth concert I play for the folks in the back seats. For those of you with better tickets, I quote On The Waterfront: 'This ain't your night' 1.1916 0.02832 261 218 36 7
3982 Concerto No 5 in Knoch'em flat by Ludwig van Beatonthem 1.1916 0.02883 261 219 34 8
3983 For my final match, I will be taking on Liszt's "La Campanella." 1.1916 0.02513 308 255 47 6
3984 Now, "Ebony and Ivory" 1.1916 0.02554 308 256 45 7
3985 KILL THOSE LIGHTS - I'm hand syncing !! 1.1915 0.02879 282 239 32 11
3986 I'd like to dedicate this next number - "Eye of the Tiger" - to my good friend Mr. T 1.1915 0.02670 329 279 37 13
3987 I am not all thumbs and I'm here to prove it! 1.1915 0.02744 282 236 38 8
3988 Plus, I could dance like a butterfly and sing like a bee." 1.1915 0.02697 282 235 40 7
3989 Next, Sonata for Losers in D flat-on-your-back minor. 1.1914 0.02580 303 252 44 7
3990 ...and for all you dancers, I'll take a mandatory 8 count for this round. 1.1914 0.02919 256 215 33 8
3991 Why is my first request song always: 'Tenderly' ? 1.1914 0.03072 256 218 27 11
3992 Shall I pound out Tea for Two? 1.1914 0.03072 256 218 27 11
3993 I'll show you what 'punching keys' really means! 1.1913 0.02679 277 230 41 6
3994 I float like a butterfly and tickle the keys 1.1913 0.02733 298 251 37 10
3995 Okay,so I lost the bet. But,for God's sake,I'm a piano player! 1.1913 0.02691 298 250 39 9
3996 Better this than brain surgery. 1.1913 0.02733 298 251 37 10
3997 Now, by a split decision, I will play 'Mozart's Tenth Piano Concerto'." 1.1913 0.02518 298 246 47 5
3998 Hey, I'll play anything I want! 1.1912 0.02854 272 229 34 9
3999 This next one will be played in KO. 1.1911 0.02449 293 240 50 3
4000 Now, who'd like to hear some Simon and Garfunkel? 1.1910 0.02839 267 224 35 8
4001 which key should I punch again? 1.1910 0.02660 288 240 41 7
4002 Max Schmeling's Symphony No. 1 in E flat major combination. 1.1910 0.02705 288 241 39 8
4003 Thank you, thank you. Now for an encore, I will play Autumn Leaves with my wrists handcuffed behind my back. 1.1910 0.02660 288 240 41 7
4004 My next piece will be the opening score from Jaws 1.1910 0.02705 288 241 39 8
4005 Is my ‘time out’ for playing too loud, over? 1.1910 0.02750 288 242 37 9
4006 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Next, in our tribute to Hollywood, I'm going to knock out 'Gonna Fly Now', the rousing theme song of the 'Rocky' movies. 1.1909 0.02976 241 202 32 7
4007 And now for that great jazz classic, “It don’t mean a thing (If it Ain’t Got That Swing”). 1.1908 0.02607 262 215 44 3
4008 I will now play Liszt's Campanella in boxing gloves to prove how crazy good I am! 1.1908 0.02550 262 214 46 2
4009 Now I shall play Cage Fight in 4 33’ 1.1908 0.02825 283 239 34 10
4010 Do you mind if it's just the Minute Waltz? 1.1908 0.02642 283 235 42 6
4011 I will now play the famous tune called Drumsticks. 1.1906 0.02858 278 235 33 10
4012 My biggest inspiration? Bach, sir. 1.1906 0.02845 299 255 31 13
4013 And now I give you “Für Alise,” by Stings-Like-A-Beethoven. 1.1906 0.02452 320 265 49 6
4014 They told me to punch out a song. 1.1905 0.02711 294 247 38 9
4015 I'm terrible with chopsticks. 1.1905 0.02624 294 245 42 7
4016 The next piece in our holiday program is "Anvils We Have Heard on High", originally composed by James Slamwick, Bishop of HexHamfist 1.1905 0.02711 294 247 38 9
4017 Charles, I thought you said these gloves would make my hands "float like a butterfly" 1.1905 0.02711 294 247 38 9
4018 I wish my brother Ali were here... 1.1905 0.02668 294 246 40 8
4019 This is the part where we all sing together 1.1905 0.02594 315 264 42 9
4020 I've been fighting with that diminuendo for weeks. 1.1905 0.02580 294 244 44 6
4021 iTunes has the whole boxed set. 1.1905 0.02534 294 243 46 5
4022 I call thith nextht number "Down Goeth Frathier." 1.1903 0.02539 310 258 45 7
4023 Ok, you can play until you see the towel thrown on stage. 1.1903 0.02827 289 245 33 11
4024 Since my accompanist has fled the building, there will be no dueling pianos tonight. 1.1903 0.02741 289 243 37 9
4025 The odds are 50 to one that I can't knock this baby out. 1.1903 0.02512 289 238 47 4
4026 I'll be playing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture 1.1903 0.02830 268 225 35 8
4027 And now my own composition. I call it “Boxsticks” 1.1903 0.02830 268 225 35 8
4028 Let me know if you think it's a knockout. 1.1903 0.02693 247 203 41 3
4029 This next song is called Crescendo of Cacophony 1.1902 0.02345 305 249 54 2
4030 As a follow-up to my successful rendition of 'Chopsticks', I'm going all in on 'Flight of the Bumblebee'. 1.1902 0.02805 305 260 32 13
4031 A knockout performance or should I say a Bach-out 1.1899 0.02508 316 263 46 7
4032 My newest piece is titled Middleweight Bout in Vegas. 1.1898 0.02640 274 227 42 5
4033 But, I don't need these to play Wagner . . 1.1898 0.02739 274 229 38 7
4034 Who'd like to hear the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth again? 1.1898 0.02882 274 232 32 10
4035 This piece of music was written by the late,great Muhammad Ali 1.1897 0.02769 253 210 38 5
4036 My next number will be a Palooka composition. 1.1897 0.02407 290 237 51 2
4037 I'm gonna knock out a little tune for you right now. It's called "Float Like Butterfly. Bang on the Keys Like a Five Year Old." 1.1897 0.02732 290 244 37 9
4038 And now, Boxer Concerto No. IV, in G minor. 1.1897 0.02688 290 243 39 8
4039 I can’t find middle c. 1.1897 0.02644 290 242 41 7
4040 The Pugilist Pianist prefers the percussive-style keyboard approach. 1.1896 0.02869 269 227 33 9
4041 The Copacabana presents, “An Evening with Mike Tyson” 1.1896 0.02869 269 227 33 9
4042 No, this is a composition by Beathoven 1.1895 0.02672 285 238 40 7
4043 What do you mean "Outside the box"? 1.1895 0.02807 285 241 34 10
4044 And now for the Flight of the Stinging Bumblebees 1.1894 0.02495 301 249 47 5
4045 And now, Chopin's Polonaise in G flat diminished (doubtful), "The Boxer" 1.1893 0.02653 280 233 41 6
4046 And now, the Maxie Rosenbloom Variations! 1.1893 0.02747 280 235 37 8
4047 And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is our last contestant battling it out for most original song . 1.1893 0.02747 280 235 37 8
4048 I call this 'Chopsticks'. 1.1892 0.02778 296 251 34 11
4049 I call this: Flight of The Boxer 1.1892 0.02473 296 244 48 4
4050 This next one's entitled: "A Major knockout" 1.1891 0.02644 312 263 39 10
4051 Am I supposed to float like a butterfly or sting like a bee? 1.1891 0.02605 312 262 41 9
4052 Rocky XII - The Dueling Piano 1.1891 0.02525 312 260 45 7
4053 Finished with the sharps , you can take them off now 1.1890 0.02544 291 241 45 5
4054 The drummer couldn't make it tonight. 1.1890 0.02851 291 248 31 12
4055 What key is this in? 1.1890 0.02724 291 245 37 9
4056 My next piece is an homage to Keyboard Cat. 1.1889 0.02711 270 225 39 6
4057 And now, Boxing Rhapsody 1.1889 0.02659 270 224 41 5
4058 I usually like soft music but this guy's a real lightweight. 1.1889 0.02711 270 225 39 6
4059 Next person talking shit about my piano playing is getting they ass beat. 1.1888 0.02841 286 243 32 11
4060 And now the Mike Tyson concerto 1.1888 0.02709 286 240 38 8
4061 you'll never be a pianist Schumannn....try composing 1.1888 0.02617 286 238 42 6
4062 Lesser pianists can play Chopin Etudes with fingers unfettered, but listen to me . . . says Trump 1.1888 0.03015 249 211 29 9
4063 Nobody would ask Bobby Short to do this. 1.1888 0.03015 249 211 29 9
4064 And now, a piece I call Rocky-maninov II. 1.1887 0.02617 302 253 41 8
4065 Easy on the piano 1.1887 0.02574 302 252 43 7
4066 Sotto? I thought you said Lamotta.... 1.1886 0.02511 297 246 46 5
4067 I will now play Tyson's Pugilist Sonata in B-flat 1.1886 0.02511 297 246 46 5
4068 The following is `Rhapsody on a Theme of Muhammed Ali' 1.1884 0.02721 276 231 38 7
4069 Are we sure a Rocky and the Piano crossover movie is going to work? 1.1884 0.02721 276 231 38 7
4070 And now for some beatboxing... 1.1884 0.02623 276 229 42 5
4071 Let's get ready to risolutooooooooooooooo! 1.1884 0.02800 292 248 33 11
4072 Aaron Copland's 'Knockdown'. 1.1883 0.02577 324 273 41 10
4073 I'm all thumbs, which works for Eye of the Tiger. 1.1882 0.02561 287 238 44 5
4074 Next I'll play the punk rock version of "Flight of the Bumblebee". 1.1881 0.02390 303 249 51 3
4075 {"This has a high degree of difficulty." 1.1880 0.02626 266 220 42 4
4076 I never thought my job as a keypunch operator would ever lead to this... 1.1880 0.02834 266 224 34 8
4077 And now, Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2, played backwards! 1.1879 0.02683 282 236 39 7
4078 Ahma gonna sock it to ya tonight! 1.1879 0.02587 282 234 43 5
4079 Float like a butterfly, fly like a bumblebee. 1.1879 0.02730 282 237 37 8
4080 Okay, Beethoven, bring it on! 1.1879 0.02683 282 236 39 7
4081 Next I'm going to play a little number I call "The Mike Tyson Etude." 1.1879 0.02720 298 252 36 10
4082 And for my next selection I'd like to play that old favorite, 'Put Up Your Dukes.' 1.1879 0.02636 298 250 40 8
4083 I will now play the Muhammad Ali boxing overture with gloves. 1.1879 0.02720 298 252 36 10
4084 For this next one, I shall punch up the jam. 1.1879 0.02469 314 261 47 6
4085 Here’s my rendition of “Heart and Soul.” 1.1877 0.02816 261 219 35 7
4086 I used to play outside the box. 1.1877 0.02816 261 219 35 7
4087 My next piece is in the key of Z. 1.1877 0.02664 277 231 40 6
4088 You bet I know the ‘Notre Dame Fight Song’! 1.1877 0.02619 293 245 41 7
4089 I will now play the Overture to "The Boxer's Tale." 1.1877 0.02749 293 248 35 10
4090 I call this next piece Pugilistic Percussion... 1.1875 0.02691 288 242 38 8
4091 And now I shall fight thru Listz’s Campanella 1.1875 0.02601 304 255 41 8
4092 Piano Club 1.1875 0.02600 288 240 42 6
4093 I will now play a Branding Burger by Bach-Sing-Gloves 1.1875 0.02691 288 242 38 8
4094 The tuner..., where is the tuner? This piano needs to be tuned, right away 1.1875 0.02691 288 242 38 8
4095 And now I will play, what I call, "The Two Note Handy". 1.1875 0.02557 320 269 42 9
4096 Its called the 10 second sonata 1.1875 0.02840 304 261 29 14
4097 political correctness my ass. This piece can’t be handled with kid’s gloves 1.1873 0.02670 299 252 38 9
4098 For my first piece I would like to play “Contender” in the key of G flat.” 1.1873 0.02627 283 236 41 6
4099 And now,"Bang Bang",arranged by Jessie J,Ariana Grande,and Nicki Minaj. 1.1873 0.02627 283 236 41 6
4100 Feel free to join in with the hook. 1.1873 0.02824 267 225 34 8
4101 Imagine Van Cliburn, the early years. 1.1873 0.02722 267 223 38 6
4102 I’m gonna knock this one out of the park! 1.1871 0.02798 278 235 34 9
4103 This next interlude will sting like a Bumblebee 1.1871 0.02798 278 235 34 9
4104 Folks, welcome to Raging Bulls. Let’s start off tonight with a rousing chorus of I could have been a contender.” 1.1871 0.02655 278 232 40 6
4105 did i get the schedule wrong? 1.1871 0.02703 278 233 38 7
4106 My next selection is Ravel's Bolero. 1.1871 0.02655 278 232 40 6
4107 OK Table 4, let's see you request Freebird now! 1.1870 0.02753 262 219 37 6
4108 Backstage I'm light as a feather but when the lights come on I'm a bit heavy handed. 1.1869 0.02551 305 255 43 7
4109 I like a good challenge 1.1869 0.02545 289 240 44 5
4110 To conclude our selection of Simon & Garfunkel Classics, I present "The Boxer." 1.1869 0.02683 289 243 38 8
4111 Any requests for Chopsticks? 1.1868 0.02733 273 229 37 7
4112 This next original tune is featured on my CD box set. 1.1867 0.02662 300 253 38 9
4113 No worries. I spar with a viola. 1.1867 0.02577 300 251 42 7
4114 No, No, No! I said, "We need to punch up the LYRICS a bit!...NOT the MELODY!!! 1.1867 0.02619 300 252 40 8
4115 Does anyone here know how to play 'The Boxer'? 1.1866 0.02666 284 238 39 7
4116 I want you to really belt it out on this one! 1.1866 0.02522 284 235 45 4
4117 Well, I can hardly be expected to sumo wrestle in this outfit, now can I? 1.1866 0.02666 284 238 39 7
4118 My next number is a variation of Flight of the Bumblebee; it's called Float of the Butterfly, Sting of the Bumblebee." 1.1865 0.02717 311 265 34 12
4119 I will now play Boxing with Beethoven 1.1865 0.02560 311 261 42 8
4120 spouf menhf skgb. 1.1865 0.02560 311 261 42 8
4121 The owners of this establishment have asked me to wear these during "Candle in the Wind" because I can't help touching myself. 1.1864 0.02856 295 253 29 13
4122 Now, I will really bang out the notes! 1.1864 0.02547 279 231 44 4
4123 Should I start with the hook? 1.1863 0.02796 263 221 35 7
4124 The composer was also briefly the bantamweight champion of the world, 1936. 1.1863 0.02948 263 224 29 10
4125 if we count to 10 maybe he'll leave 1.1862 0.02847 290 248 30 12
4126 Just hit the keys lightly, don't knock them out! 1.1862 0.02584 290 242 42 6
4127 Now to punch out "Take the A Train" by the Duke 1.1861 0.02724 274 230 37 7
4128 Tonight's set is scheduled for 12 songs. 1.1861 0.02773 274 231 35 8
4129 Float like a butterfly 1.1861 0.02724 274 230 37 7
4130 My next tune is a knockout you ladies will enjoy. 1.1861 0.02675 274 229 39 6
4131 When I was learning to play the piano, I also bit my nails as a kid.......mom made me wear gloves. 1.1861 0.02567 317 267 41 9
4132 sonata #10 for Boxers in TKO flat 1.1861 0.02644 317 269 37 11
4133 I will now perform Beethoven’s 5th round, a piece widely regarded as his boldest. 1.1860 0.02343 301 247 52 2
4134 And now, Beethoven's 'Boxing Day Concerto No. 4.' 1.1860 0.02657 285 239 39 7
4135 I am not yet prepared to "take the gloves off". 1.1860 0.02562 285 237 43 5
4136 They said my Beethoven last night was everything but passionate. 1.1860 0.02610 285 238 41 6
4137 I'll knock out the other finalists ! 1.1859 0.02671 312 265 36 11
4138 Ding ding ding 1.1859 0.02470 312 260 46 6
4139 I can only do the one note Samba 1.1859 0.02755 269 226 36 7
4140 The secret is "mind over matter". 1.1859 0.02652 269 224 40 5
4141 I am certain that I heard NIGHT club. 1.1859 0.02805 269 227 34 8
4142 I will now play Beethoven's 3rd Symphony in the key of TKO 1.1858 0.02595 296 248 41 7
4143 This one has too many sharps 1.1858 0.02595 296 248 41 7
4144 Are you not entertained?! 1.1858 0.02550 296 247 43 6
4145 I’m not particularly good with chopsticks. 1.1858 0.02681 296 250 37 9
4146 All right, you've made your point, no need to be cruel. 1.1857 0.02825 280 238 32 10
4147 I can play other songs than the theme to Rocky you know! 1.1857 0.02779 280 237 34 9
4148 And now I will play a selection from ‘Ready to Rumble for Chopsticks.’ 1.1857 0.02637 280 234 40 6
4149 Up next is the Pugilist's Overature in D minor 1.1857 0.02779 280 237 34 9
4150 How else do you expect me to play “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.1857 0.02588 280 233 42 5
4151 Coach said I needed to decompress a little. 1.1857 0.02494 307 256 45 6
4152 And now for Schubert's Undefeated! 1.1857 0.02659 307 260 37 10
4153 Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven sonata! 1.1856 0.02434 291 240 48 3
4154 Though best known for his boxing skills, Jack Dempsey could pound out a darn fine tune on the piano - or so claimed his beloved mother. 1.1855 0.02615 275 229 41 5
4155 Everything about this next piece reflects my mid career change jitters... 1.1855 0.02715 275 231 37 7
4156 And now,I will play the theme from "ROCKY" 1.1854 0.02604 302 254 40 8
4157 Tonight’s Cage Match! Thelonius versus The Grand! Let’s get ready to Rumba! 1.1853 0.02740 286 242 35 9
4158 Up next, my biggest hit. It’s a knockout! 1.1853 0.02545 313 263 42 8
4159 I’ll be doing The Boxer , originally done bySimon and Garfunkel . My version is much better , because I have props . 1.1853 0.02421 313 260 48 5
4160 My next piece is Rocky's Rachmaninoff"s Piano Concerto .2 1.1852 0.02892 270 230 30 10
4161 if you don't like it, leave 1.1852 0.02630 297 250 39 8
4162 And now, Rocky Concerto #3 in D Minor. 1.1852 0.02497 297 247 45 5
4163 I'm having a little trouble expressing the nuances of the tonality on this pieces. 1.1852 0.02673 297 251 37 9
4164 Sorry, I only think inside the box. 1.1852 0.02673 297 251 37 9
4165 We are only on the cusp of what reality TV will be 1.1852 0.02695 270 226 38 6
4166 'To the tables down at Mory's'? Oh. I thought you wanted the fight song. 1.1851 0.02528 308 258 43 7
4167 Cliburn's mama said knock you out . . . 1.1851 0.02816 281 239 32 10
4168 I'm gonna beat this music into submission. 1.1851 0.02724 281 237 36 8
4169 I don’t tickle anything,I float like a butterfly and sting like a Muthafucka! 1.1851 0.02770 281 238 34 9
4170 And now: Chopin Prelude in #@%? minor. 1.1849 0.02702 292 247 36 9
4171 And now, Chopin Nocturnes, punched up. 1.1849 0.02613 292 245 40 7
4172 Shall we begin, Maestro Tyson? 1.1849 0.02927 265 226 29 10
4173 I’ve been known to bang out those oldies but goodies! 1.1849 0.02506 265 218 45 2
4174 What? I'm just preparing for the end of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture. 1.1848 0.02553 303 254 42 7
4175 This next piece has a nice right hook. 1.1848 0.02754 276 233 35 8
4176 I’m going to play the next song with alternating body parts 1.1848 0.02848 276 235 31 10
4177 Now I would like to play my rendition of the 'Rope-a-Dope' overture 1.1847 0.02546 287 239 43 5
4178 Victor had always wanted to be a two sport competitor 1.1847 0.02686 287 242 37 8
4179 I did not lie on my C.V. 1.1846 0.02579 298 250 41 7
4180 I said "A box for the recital." 1.1845 0.02582 271 225 42 4
4181 Use the hook! 1.1845 0.02521 309 259 43 7
4182 Mama wanted me to be a pianist, but my doggie wanted me to be a boxer. 1.1845 0.02436 309 257 47 5
4183 Next, I'll be pounding out Helter Skelter. 1.1844 0.02715 282 238 36 8
4184 ...and now, the Concerto Pugilisto in C# Major by Muhammad Ali... 1.1844 0.02620 282 236 40 6
4185 My next number is "Bust Your Chopsticks" 1.1844 0.02761 282 239 34 9
4186 I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for... 1.1844 0.02715 282 238 36 8
4187 Softly may I punch the keys with the theme from "Rocky" fortissimo. 1.1843 0.02788 255 214 35 6
4188 Pay per view on PBS— Rocky vs Rachmaninoff 1.1843 0.02649 293 247 38 8
4189 I call this next one "Flight of the Bumble." 1.1843 0.02605 293 246 40 7
4190 Next, I'll pound the ivory for you in my version of--ahem--Rocky's Concerto in D Minor. 1.1843 0.02605 293 246 40 7
4191 All of the greats are dead, so I'm not taking any chances. 1.1843 0.02559 293 245 42 6
4192 A little more Stockhausen? 1.1843 0.02649 293 247 38 8
4193 Especially for fight fans, Chopin's Three Minute waltz. 1.1842 0.02767 266 224 35 7
4194 I never should’ve agreed to this Boxing Day Special… 1.1841 0.02697 277 233 37 7
4195 It’s modern music ! 1.1841 0.02697 277 233 37 7
4196 I will now play the Bang Bang Bang Concerto 1.1840 0.02585 288 241 41 6
4197 Are you kidding me? These aree not the kid gloves I had in mind! 1.1840 0.02722 288 244 35 9
4198 But it's my version of the 'Rocky' theme! 1.1839 0.02614 299 252 39 8
4199 Here’s one for all you glove birds out there tonight. 1.1839 0.02698 299 254 35 10
4200 ...and now a new composition intended for tweeting. 1.1839 0.02595 310 262 39 9
4201 What happens after the glissando? 1.1838 0.02727 272 229 36 7
4202 You can Tune a Piano but you can't Tuna fish 1.1838 0.02650 321 274 35 12
4203 In synthesis of my interests, I will be playing the theme from 'Rocky' 1.1837 0.02612 283 237 40 6
4204 And for myy next selection,"Punch Drunk Love" 1.1837 0.02612 283 237 40 6
4205 Cut me, Maestro. 1.1837 0.02706 283 239 36 8
4206 You actually thought this might sound good? 1.1837 0.02641 294 248 38 8
4207 I present Invention no. 3 the way it was meant to be played: Bach-xing style. 1.1837 0.02552 294 246 42 6
4208 We will start the evening with a little Rachmaninoff up in here. 1.1837 0.02641 294 248 38 8
4209 I'm multitasking. 1.1837 0.02506 294 245 44 5
4210 It was another knockout performance by Philip! 1.1837 0.02641 294 248 38 8
4211 I’m ready to do battle with this Beethoven piano concerto! 1.1836 0.02451 305 254 46 5
4212 I am playing “The Boxer.” 1.1835 0.02808 267 226 33 8
4213 My piano career started out rocky but I'm getting strong now. 1.1835 0.02639 278 233 39 6
4214 And now, a little paino... 1.1835 0.02639 278 233 39 6
4215 This next concerto was inspired by incompetent eight-year-old and my lack of empathy. 1.1835 0.02688 278 234 37 7
4216 I don't see how I can hit the high notes 1.1835 0.02783 278 236 33 9
4217 I've Got Blisters on My Fingers 1.1834 0.02713 289 245 35 9
4218 ...if you must know, I am a welterweight 1.1834 0.02623 289 243 39 7
4219 One mustn't perform this next piece with kid gloves. 1.1834 0.02577 289 242 41 6
4220 And now, in a salute to Bill Conti, I’ll perform “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky.. 1.1833 0.02519 300 251 43 6
4221 I have a day job as a key punch operator. 1.1833 0.02627 311 264 37 10
4222 I’m practicing my Boxing Day medley. 1.1832 0.02682 262 219 38 5
4223 For my next piece I’ll play ‘Piano Is Very Manly Dad’ in A-minor 1.1832 0.02892 262 223 30 9
4224 After several failed attempts to entertain his audience, Manuel stumbled upon the key to his knockout set. 1.1832 0.02512 273 226 44 3
4225 For my next number I'd like to play an extract from the soundtrack for "Rocky" called "One More Round". 1.1831 0.02604 284 238 40 6
4226 Sometimes the C13#5b9 fights back. 1.1831 0.02788 284 242 32 10
4227 And now, Johanna Sebastian Box’s One and Only Sonata in B-flat 1.1831 0.02697 284 240 36 8
4228 And now for my final piece.. I will be playing boxsticks. 1.1831 0.02719 295 251 34 10
4229 Chopsticks anyone? 1.1831 0.02498 295 246 44 5
4230 I'm training for a John Cage-fight. 1.1831 0.02843 295 254 28 13
4231 Welcome to the half price tribute to Elton John 1.1830 0.02530 306 257 42 7
4232 Chopsticks was easy. 1.1830 0.02476 317 266 44 7
4233 And now I would like to do a little thing I wrote called bopsticks 1.1829 0.02656 257 214 39 4
4234 And now my own original composition, “Piano Concerto No. 1 in Box Major.” 1.1829 0.02712 257 215 37 5
4235 I am trying to punch out two chords at a time. 1.1828 0.02481 268 221 45 2
4236 My hands get cold! 1.1828 0.02748 268 226 35 7
4237 Want to sing a few rounds with me as I play? 1.1828 0.02373 279 229 49 1
4238 Box me Amadeus 1.1828 0.02774 279 237 33 9
4239 I’m sorry. I can’t. My hands are tied! 1.1828 0.02705 290 246 35 9
4240 And now,Box Piano Concerto in D Minor. 1.1828 0.02705 290 246 35 9
4241 Whateya mean, 'go to my corner?'What round are we in? 1.1828 0.02522 290 242 43 5
4242 He dreams of the days when audiences just wanted their money back... 1.1828 0.02705 290 246 35 9
4243 It's really hard for me to play the piano because my hands are in boxing gloves. 1.1828 0.02792 290 248 31 11
4244 By popular request -- the Butterfly and Bee Sonata in A sharp major" 1.1827 0.02598 301 254 39 8
4245 And now for my own exuberant interpretation of "Eye of the Tiger" 1.1825 0.02831 263 223 32 8
4246 My wife never wanted me to wake the kids. 1.1825 0.02562 263 218 42 3
4247 Liberboxy. 1.1825 0.02757 274 232 34 8
4248 Jabs aren't as effective on the piano. 1.1825 0.02659 274 230 38 6
4249 If you don't stay quiet I'll take my gloves off! 1.1825 0.02547 285 238 42 5
4250 I call this one The Flight of the Dirigible. 1.1825 0.02642 285 240 38 7
4251 Can I call Sarah Sanders or Sean Spicer for advice? 1.1825 0.02734 285 242 34 9
4252 Let’s get ready to Tinkle! 1.1824 0.02710 296 252 34 10
4253 I will now play 'Chopsticks' with using only my thumbs. 1.1824 0.02536 296 248 42 6
4254 Maestro, I understand this is a Rocky-themed concert, but... 1.1824 0.02625 296 250 38 8
4255 Well if you didn't like that, you're going to hate the undercard. 1.1822 0.02703 258 216 37 5
4256 And now what I call "Mozart's Mohammad Ali Sonata." 1.1821 0.02718 280 237 35 8
4257 My next piece is called, "Kapow!" 1.1821 0.02514 291 243 43 5
4258 Would someone in the audience lend me a hand or two? 1.1821 0.02418 291 241 47 3
4259 I am NOT playing chopsticks tonight! 1.1821 0.02547 302 254 41 7
4260 My last gig was the Punch n Judy Show! 1.1821 0.02504 302 253 43 6
4261 And now for my encore, “The Float of the Bumblebee” 1.1821 0.02651 313 267 35 11
4262 That's half of it, they stuck my legs in cement 1.1818 0.02634 286 241 38 7
4263 And now, some Stockhausen. 1.1818 0.02725 286 243 34 9
4264 Did I hear a request for "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.1818 0.02528 297 249 42 6
4265 My teacher said the audience would go wild! 1.1818 0.02579 319 271 38 10
4266 I,ll knock one out to you 1.1818 0.02744 297 254 32 11
4267 I'm only the undercard. 1.1818 0.02440 286 237 46 3
4268 Could someone please stick their head in the Green Room and wake me up? 1.1818 0.02922 264 226 28 10
4269 Join in while I play a Bach-Sing Along. 1.1818 0.02675 253 211 38 4
4270 I will now play a selection of works by Hans Zimmer. 1.1818 0.02889 275 236 28 11
4271 I call this one 'imagination'. 1.1818 0.02528 297 249 42 6
4272 At Master Class, he said I was pounding the keyboard. I just want to play the triangle. 1.1818 0.02702 297 253 34 10
4273 I don't hate Beethoven, but I pity the fool! 1.1815 0.02644 292 247 37 8
4274 This next piece requires more than a little punching up. 1.1815 0.02411 292 242 47 3
4275 And now, my rendition of Rock'em Sock'em Staccato 1.1815 0.02506 292 244 43 5
4276 my hands are really delicate 1.1815 0.02688 292 248 35 9
4277 Now for the Opus One-Two--bang! Right in the kisser. 1.1815 0.02599 292 246 39 7
4278 It’s a strong metaphor, but the next piece I wrote really has nothing to do with boxing. 1.1815 0.02644 292 247 37 8
4279 And now, the Box Sonata in d minor 1.1815 0.02801 281 240 31 10
4280 And next: my variation on an etude by John Cage. ...In D-minor. 1.1815 0.02846 281 241 29 11
4281 Where are the nose flutes? 1.1815 0.02520 270 224 43 3
4282 Liebestraum No. 3, by Franz Liszt. What's it to ya. 1.1815 0.02729 270 228 35 7
4283 It's called free jazz. 1.1815 0.02907 259 221 29 9
4284 I just don't want Lang Lang to see my fingerings! 1.1812 0.02625 287 242 38 7
4285 Round 1: Classical Beats 1.1812 0.02925 276 238 26 12
4286 I thought you wanted me to do interval training. 1.1812 0.02739 276 234 34 8
4287 So she says I can do it, then doesn't show up 1.1812 0.02690 276 233 36 7
4288 I guess they don't like Shostakovich. 1.1811 0.02708 265 223 36 6
4289 Maybe no one will notice 1.1809 0.02354 304 252 49 3
4290 But the keys are sticky! 1.1809 0.02574 304 257 39 8
4291 This next piece is 'Ode to Mom' 1.1809 0.02765 293 251 31 11
4292 Baby it’s cold outside. 1.1809 0.02605 282 237 39 6
4293 Ladies and Gentlemen, Rocky Beethoven. 1.1809 0.02700 282 239 35 8
4294 Tonight I thought I’d give beatboxing a try. 1.1809 0.02605 282 237 39 6
4295 Anyone have a sippy-cup? 1.1809 0.02700 282 239 35 8
4296 I will now play “Theme from Rocky.” 1.1809 0.02747 282 240 33 9
4297 Boxeo: A Concerto In Two Fists 1.1809 0.02653 282 238 37 7
4298 And now I suppose you're going to request Liszt's Campanella? 1.1808 0.02867 271 232 29 10
4299 This evening,I'll be punching out my new hit. 1.1808 0.02618 271 227 39 5
4300 I'm going to punch my way through this tune, no pun intended. 1.1807 0.02954 238 202 29 7
4301 This next one is called 'Song for My Mother, but also My Father'. 1.1806 0.02643 299 254 36 9
4302 I'm sorry, say that again ? 1.1805 0.02582 277 232 40 5
4303 I shall now play "The Flight of the Bumblebee" 1.1805 0.02730 277 235 34 8
4304 Simon did this song the easy way. 1.1805 0.02591 266 222 40 4
4305 For my encore, Thumbsticks. 1.1803 0.02491 294 246 43 5
4306 And now, a ci·né·ma-vé·ri·té reimagining of the theme to “Rocky” — as played by the protagonist. 1.1803 0.02714 294 251 33 10
4307 He was a Double Major. 1.1802 0.02498 283 236 43 4
4308 And now, variations on a theme of Pacquiao. 1.1802 0.02597 283 238 39 6
4309 I believe I've found the lost chord. 1.1802 0.02428 333 281 44 8
4310 This isn’t the Steinway vs. Sons match? 1.1801 0.02335 272 223 49 0
4311 I need these to play Prokofief's variations on Chopsticks, 1.1801 0.02711 272 230 35 7
4312 Now for some Beathoven... 1.1801 0.02575 311 264 38 9
4313 Concerto for the dexterity impaired. 1.1800 0.02460 300 251 44 5
4314 They say the Rach 7, is very tough 1.1799 0.02699 289 246 34 9
4315 They said I ought to have a knockout on the piano during the performance 1.1799 0.02609 289 244 38 7
4316 And now, the 1812 Overture.... 1.1799 0.02673 278 235 36 7
4317 What if I need to use the little boys room...? 1.1799 0.02624 278 234 38 6
4318 This one is called 'Midnight Cat'... 1.1799 0.02768 278 237 32 9
4319 Volti subito, or else. 1.1798 0.02471 267 221 44 2
4320 And for my next bout: First performed by the legendary Queen.. 1.1797 0.02662 295 251 35 9
4321 Oh shit, I left the light on at home. 1.1797 0.02662 295 251 35 9
4322 Last night, my anxiety dreams reached crescendo level. 1.1797 0.02574 295 249 39 7
4323 And now Piano Concerto for the Old One Two. 1.1796 0.02636 284 240 37 7
4324 This next piece will be a box waltz. 1.1796 0.02636 284 240 37 7
4325 And now, Mama Said Knock You Out No. 12 1.1795 0.02940 273 236 25 12
4326 I call this "Adrian" 1.1795 0.02600 273 229 39 5
4327 It galvanizes my bass. 1.1794 0.03025 262 227 23 12
4328 This next one’s a punch up of an old classic. 1.1793 0.02459 290 242 44 4
4329 They were out of hams. 1.1793 0.02863 290 251 26 13
4330 My next piece is dedicated to those who failed to achieve their boyhood dream despite a very inspiring '70s movie. 1.1792 0.02664 279 236 36 7
4331 It keeps going out of tune. 1.1792 0.02565 279 234 40 5
4332 In honor of Victor Borge I shall strike up the band, by hand. 1.1792 0.02615 279 235 38 6
4333 Badda Bee Badda Boom 1.1792 0.02466 307 258 43 6
4334 It's ok, I'm just the undercard. 1.1791 0.02519 268 223 42 3
4335 Seriously, I'm trying my best, 1.1791 0.02519 268 223 42 3
4336 We are definitely “going out with a bang” tonight! 1.1790 0.02859 257 219 30 8
4337 Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie 1.1789 0.02627 285 241 37 7
4338 And then I wrote the theme song for the movie "Rocky". 1.1789 0.02853 285 246 27 12
4339 I know, I know it's disappointing. Yet here in this golden Trump Hotel DC I feel strangely moved to present my own version of A Boxer's Rebellion. 1.1789 0.02532 285 239 41 5
4340 Oh, it's Rocbalboa's piano concerto in A flat. 1.1789 0.02381 285 236 47 2
4341 Tonight I will be performing the classic melodic death metal album "Hot Yoga Farts" by "MetalMurderSexMachine." I thank you for your support of the fine arts. 1.1789 0.02765 285 244 31 10
4342 I feel as if I'm punching the keys. 1.1789 0.02519 313 265 40 8
4343 My next number will be a medley from Punch Drunk Love. 1.1788 0.02790 274 234 31 9
4344 I just said I'd be Bach. See sharp, not be flat. Mistake to hire agent instead of trainer. 1.1788 0.02742 302 260 30 12
4345 I'm going to treat this next composition with kid gloves. 1.1788 0.02782 302 261 28 13
4346 My final selection is a tribute to Glenn Gould: Box 'Goldberg Variations'. 1.1788 0.02577 302 256 38 8
4347 I will now play 'Pugilism in D minor'. 1.1787 0.02656 263 221 37 5
4348 This one calls for a lots of Fs. 1.1787 0.02763 263 223 33 7
4349 And now, I will play “Flight of the Ostrich.” 1.1787 0.02546 291 245 40 6
4350 I will now knockout a concerto by Boxmaninoff 1.1787 0.02592 291 246 38 7
4351 My first number will be Bach's Concerto to Mike Tyson 1.1786 0.02665 308 264 33 11
4352 Could I get my cut man up here for this next piece? 1.1786 0.02665 308 264 33 11
4353 Ladies and fentlemen, for my next number my rendition of Punch Drunk Love. 1.1786 0.02416 308 258 45 5
4354 And now, I'll knock out "It Don't Mean A Thing." 1.1786 0.02606 280 236 38 6
4355 I won't be taking any more requests ladies and gentlemen 1.1785 0.02558 297 251 39 7
4356 I said "piano" not "Marciano." 1.1784 0.02619 269 226 38 5
4357 Think outside the box...ing gloves? 1.1783 0.02572 286 241 39 6
4358 And now, the American premiere of Chopin’s early Black-Eye Etude. 1.1783 0.02523 286 240 41 5
4359 Tonight, ladies & gentlemen Punch for Punch in B Minor 1.1782 0.02611 303 258 36 9
4360 Any guesses on my first career? 1.1782 0.02526 303 256 40 7
4361 We said the audition was for covering Marvin Hamlisch not Marvin Hagler. 1.1782 0.02583 275 231 39 5
4362 If you wear these you can hit the K and O notes 1.1781 0.02559 320 273 37 10
4363 I play as a butterfly and sting like a bee! 1.1781 0.02584 292 247 38 7
4364 I've been told this next piece is a real gut punch. 1.1781 0.02584 292 247 38 7
4365 I will now play 'Braggadocio,' an etude of my own composition.' 1.1781 0.02538 292 246 40 6
4366 Well, I find it easier than the string bass. 1.1781 0.02538 292 246 40 6
4367 I'm gonna knock Mr. Steinway out, then I'm gonna knock him back in again. 1.1780 0.02452 309 260 43 6
4368 One man show. One man audience. 1.1780 0.02697 309 266 31 12
4369 And now, Bach’s most famous counterpunch! 1.1779 0.02646 281 238 36 7
4370 The "Rocky Theme" may be more challenging than anticipated... 1.1779 0.02506 298 251 41 6
4371 This is a new piece I call pianissimo 1.1779 0.02594 298 253 37 8
4372 Bach's fourth fugue? I thought you suggested box for the few-- 1.1778 0.02813 270 231 30 9
4373 Now playing the "Clean Up the Government" sonata. 1.1778 0.02763 270 230 32 8
4374 Pugilist Waltz in C... 1.1778 0.02763 270 230 32 8
4375 Hang on, folks, I need to tune him up. 1.1778 0.02662 270 228 36 6
4376 I'm going to belt out the latest showstopper..... 1.1778 0.02502 270 225 42 3
4377 the piano is a broad spectrum instrument whose range is rarely exploited in full...I invite you to listen carefully as I play my concerto no1 "for our times" 1.1777 0.02702 287 245 33 9
4378 Round four will be a short John Cage piece, and then I have a request for the dance mix of Swing, Swing, Swing. 1.1777 0.02611 287 243 37 7
4379 The theme to Rocky 12 1.1776 0.02731 259 219 34 6
4380 I will now play 'Chopsticks' in the key of D sharp minor. 1.1775 0.02625 276 233 37 6
4381 Yes, my rendition of the Creed theme song was a little rocky. 1.1775 0.02865 276 238 27 11
4382 Requiem for a large harmonica. 1.1775 0.02621 293 249 36 8
4383 ...And now I'll show you how I gave him good Haydn. 1.1774 0.02744 265 225 33 7
4384 Next, I will belt out ‘Clair de Lune.’ 1.1774 0.02691 265 224 35 6
4385 This next piece is the Apollo’s Creed. 1.1771 0.02601 271 228 38 5
4386 And now, my version of "Eye of the Tiger." 1.1771 0.02602 288 244 37 7
4387 We'll knock 'em out with Beethoven 1.1771 0.02459 288 241 43 4
4388 its the beat 1.1770 0.02467 322 273 41 8
4389 I’m Boxing Jim - subbing in for One-Eye-Closed Ron. Hope you like it. 1.1769 0.02613 294 250 36 8
4390 The Cadenza! 1.1769 0.02568 294 249 38 7
4391 I shall now play my "Uppercut Sonata" until the sound of the bell. 1.1767 0.02628 266 224 37 5
4392 I attack ferociously every piece I play. 1.1767 0.02786 266 227 31 8
4393 I'm playing my, " Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee," song. 1.1767 0.02786 266 227 31 8
4394 Then . . with his next Indictment Rhapsody . . it was time to take off the gloves. Notice the developed motifs . . the supporting intricacies . . .No more sparring, as it were . . 1.1767 0.02574 266 223 39 4
4395 And now a selection from the Simon and Garfunkel songbook. 1.1767 0.02676 283 241 34 8
4396 Half-step, bob and weave. Float like a butterfly, pound the keys like Liberace. 1.1767 0.02445 300 252 43 5
4397 Hey! YOU requested a soft glove song... 1.1767 0.02445 300 252 43 5
4398 This is a number I like to call, TKO. 1.1765 0.02416 306 257 44 5
4399 What? My fingers are cold! 1.1765 0.02685 289 247 33 9
4400 According to known aerodynamic principles, bumblebee flight is not possible. 1.1765 0.02451 289 242 43 4
4401 No, really --- "Man, what are you doing here ?!" 1.1765 0.02745 272 232 32 8
4402 This next one has a knockout one-two-punch! one-two-punch! hook. 1.1765 0.02874 238 202 30 6
4403 This adds emphasis to my allargando. 1.1765 0.02685 289 247 33 9
4404 I'm afraid this piece requires one to pound the keys. 1.1765 0.02638 255 214 37 4
4405 Uh, what fresh hell is this?! 1.1765 0.02695 272 231 34 7
4406 When you have to perform Mozart at 8 but fight in the ring at 9. 1.1763 0.02506 329 281 38 10
4407 *I forgot my pants* 1.1763 0.02692 295 253 32 10
4408 'Toccata and fugue in g minor' by J.S. Box. 1.1763 0.02560 295 250 38 7
4409 Ladies and gentlemen, please pardon the gloves. They're a temporary solution to my chronic masturbation. 1.1763 0.02891 278 241 25 12
4410 Next I shall play "Music Dance Boxer". 1.1763 0.02891 278 241 25 12
4411 This one's called "Revolution 9." 1.1763 0.02657 278 236 35 7
4412 I call this one, 'Jabba, Jabba, Jabba'. 1.1761 0.02438 301 253 43 5
4413 Oh, it saves my fingers for the performance. 1.1761 0.02371 284 236 46 2
4414 How long is Fur Elise again? 1.1761 0.02714 284 243 32 9
4415 Now for my favorite Boxthoven Sonata. 1.1761 0.02423 284 237 44 3
4416 Now for a rendition of that Simon and Garfunkle classic 'The Boxer' 1.1760 0.02673 267 226 35 6
4417 For my next number: "Flight of the Bumblebees" 1.1760 0.02776 267 228 31 8
4418 Every body has a plan until they are told to play. 1.1759 0.02443 290 243 43 4
4419 And now I'd like to play for you the opening bars of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. 1.1759 0.02676 290 248 33 9
4420 Watch as I play a mean “Three blind mice.” 1.1759 0.02764 290 250 29 11
4421 And now, my tribute to Liberace. 1.1758 0.02784 273 234 30 9
4422 Please don't yell at me Coach! I know the fight is tomorrow, and I should be skipping rope and running up the stairs and stuff like that, but, may I tell you something? Music means more to me. 1.1758 0.02477 273 228 42 3
4423 I stay in shape by playing a few clusters before taking off the gloves. 1.1757 0.02924 239 204 28 7
4424 my insurance agent will be here soon to release my hands 1.1757 0.02596 296 252 36 8
4425 My next song will be in the key of OH. 1.1757 0.02507 296 250 40 6
4426 The staccato notes have been omitted. 1.1756 0.02549 279 235 39 5
4427 He never expected his performance would be such a hit. 1.1756 0.02696 279 238 33 8
4428 And now, Toccata, no Fugue. 1.1756 0.02599 279 236 37 6
4429 Mama Said Knock You Out in E Flat Major... 1.1756 0.02599 279 236 37 6
4430 I'm composing a theme song for a film called Rocky. 1.1756 0.02648 279 237 35 7
4431 Music AND sports? 'Wild Thing' says yes. 1.1756 0.02808 262 224 30 8
4432 So Mr. Tyson, who do you think has a tin ear now? 1.1755 0.02430 302 254 43 5
4433 Its suposed to Sound like that 1.1755 0.02563 302 257 37 8
4434 For this next tune, I recommend dancing the box-step. 1.1755 0.02475 302 255 41 6
4435 In this corner, three time concerto soloist, the Piano Man, the KO Kid. 1.1755 0.02519 302 256 39 7
4436 I would like to pound out my latest political satirical piece. 1.1754 0.02564 285 241 38 6
4437 I tried to explain to the people in wardrobe that the fight isn't till tomorrow night! 1.1754 0.02564 285 241 38 6
4438 How much did you bet? 1.1754 0.02466 285 239 42 4
4439 Will you ring da bell? 1.1754 0.02466 285 239 42 4
4440 He Was shooting for a knockout performance after all 1.1753 0.02484 291 245 41 5
4441 Just getting ready to pound out some New Wave. 1.1752 0.02726 274 234 32 8
4442 And now, for the fifth time, the Theme From Rocky. 1.1752 0.02575 274 231 38 5
4443 And now a piece from Ali-Frazier "Thrilla in Manila." 1.1752 0.02626 274 232 36 6
4444 This is not a piano. It is a music box. 1.1752 0.02626 274 232 36 6
4445 Now I shall play “Float Like A Butterfly and Flight of the Bumblebee”. 1.1752 0.02726 274 234 32 8
4446 I do take requests, as long as they are "Chopsticks." 1.1751 0.02947 257 222 25 10
4447 It's called "12 Rounds" . People find it punchy. 1.1751 0.02499 297 251 40 6
4448 Ahh, Happy to oblige! Chop sticks it is! 1.1751 0.02588 297 253 36 8
4449 This next tune appears on the boxed-set anthology of my greatest hits. 1.1751 0.02632 297 254 34 9
4450 Man, they've really run out of ideas for new Rocky movies 1.1750 0.02639 280 238 35 7
4451 For all of you who think I'm all thumbs I present the ''Everlast Serenade.' 1.1750 0.02591 280 237 37 6
4452 Thou shalt see these thumbs play all 88 keys, then I'll float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.1750 0.02735 280 240 31 9
4453 This next composition is an opera prelude by my Nebelung cat. 1.1749 0.02597 303 259 35 9
4454 I've been so anxious lately...I think my stage "fight" is getting worse. 1.1749 0.02693 263 223 34 6
4455 Looking out on the crowd, I think I may have hit the wrong note. 1.1749 0.02526 263 220 40 3
4456 Theme song from "Rocky" anyone? 1.1748 0.02604 286 243 36 7
4457 My next piece is titled, 'Float of the Butterfly!' 1.1748 0.02741 286 246 30 10
4458 My next piece will be Box Piano Sonata. 1.1748 0.02556 286 242 38 6
4459 And now the 'Rocky' sonata in E minor." 1.1748 0.02523 309 263 38 8
4460 I can do anything. 1.1748 0.02481 309 262 40 7
4461 LET’s Let’s let’s GET Get get READY Ready ready TO To to BACH Bach bach. 1.1746 0.02571 315 270 35 10
4462 Sorry, my trainer just quit. 1.1745 0.02514 275 231 40 4
4463 Thelonious Monk today, tomorrow, forever! 1.1745 0.02765 275 236 30 9
4464 I just don't hit the keys... I hit them like a pro. 1.1745 0.02536 298 253 38 7
4465 This is one of my recordings featured in my latest box set of piano pieces. 1.1744 0.02482 281 236 41 4
4466 I’d say I have a softer touch than Oscar Peterson. 1.1744 0.02582 281 238 37 6
4467 Box piano concerto no.1 packed quite a wallop in last night’s concert. 1.1743 0.02547 304 259 37 8
4468 What is going on? They didn't tell you I am blind! 1.1742 0.02788 264 226 30 8
4469 If Liberace could do it, so can I, 1.1742 0.02548 287 243 38 6
4470 And now, Beethoven's Mmmm%$oonli88ght So?#natta2222222222... 1.1742 0.02688 287 246 32 9
4471 Now for my next bout, how about mostly Mozart? 1.1742 0.02515 310 264 38 8
4472 Now that the jab is established, I'll work the body a bit. 1.1739 0.02659 276 235 34 7
4473 And now a knock-off of "Baby, It's Cold Outside." 1.1739 0.02558 276 233 38 5
4474 #RockyManEnough 1.1739 0.02558 276 233 38 5
4475 How about a little Beethoven? 1.1739 0.02637 253 213 36 4
4476 Next I shall play 'Boonlight Bonata.' 1.1739 0.02616 299 256 34 9
4477 Take the gloves off! 1.1739 0.02609 276 234 36 6
4478 And now C Flat in, you guessed it, C flat. 1.1738 0.02409 305 257 43 5
4479 I can't feel my hands! 1.1738 0.02808 282 244 27 11
4480 Oh...I thought we were doing Ravel's 'Bolero". 1.1738 0.02670 282 241 33 8
4481 Waltzing Matilda? I heard Boxing Matilda? 1.1738 0.02622 282 240 35 7
4482 Sorry, my German is pretty bad, I thought they told me to get ready for Beat Often. 1.1737 0.02821 259 222 29 8
4483 And now, my own special version of "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.1737 0.02821 259 222 29 8
4484 Pugalistic Punching Music by Steve Reich 1.1736 0.02549 311 266 36 9
4485 This next number will be a "mash-up" of Mozart vs Eminem 1.1736 0.02633 288 246 34 8
4486 Drink up, everyone! The next 15 rounds are on me." LockaBlocka2018@gmail.co 1.1736 0.02811 288 250 26 12
4487 I will now perform ADRIENNE ! by Rocky. 1.1736 0.02540 288 244 38 6
4488 And then , at the peak of the crescendo , you take the gloves off and proceed with a gentler finale for ten fingers... 1.1736 0.02565 265 223 38 4
4489 For my encore Rondo #10 1.1736 0.02674 265 225 34 6
4490 And now, Liszt in a clinch. 1.1734 0.02530 271 228 39 4
4491 Please enjoy the next piece in our Mixed Martial Music Series called "Find The Tune". 1.1734 0.02562 323 278 34 11
4492 Unanimous? Another ballad it is. 1.1733 0.02476 300 254 40 6
4493 I'm saving them for my hand model gig. 1.1733 0.02384 300 252 44 4
4494 Ready for some big block chords? 1.1733 0.02607 300 257 34 9
4495 Box seats at the matinee. 1.1733 0.02521 300 255 38 7
4496 I will now play Box Piano Concerto in F Minor 1.1733 0.02497 277 233 40 4
4497 I didn’t know a standing ovation was even possible at a music therapy recital! 1.1733 0.02497 277 233 40 4
4498 And for my next number, Sonata For Boxing Day 1.1733 0.02699 277 237 32 8
4499 I took off my white gloves for the encore: 'Tribute to Liberace 1.1732 0.02356 306 257 45 4
4500 YOU ASKED FOR 12 TONE SERIES IN FORTISSIMO , VOILA ......!!! 1.1731 0.02799 283 245 27 11
4501 I'm hoping this next number will appeal to the Millennials. 1.1731 0.02708 283 243 31 9
4502 Thank you. Thank you. This last piece is for mother who has always observed that my playing leaves her feeling most short-changed in the note-differentiation department. 1.1731 0.02565 283 240 37 6
4503 I will now play a composition by Charles Ives. 1.1731 0.02758 260 222 31 7
4504 And for those who may be offended by any of my songs, I've taken matters into my own hands. 1.1731 0.02703 260 221 33 6
4505 Get ready to ruuummmble! 1.1730 0.02625 289 247 34 8
4506 And now, the butterfly and bee concerto..... 1.1729 0.02665 266 226 34 6
4507 Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to worry, these are only kid gloves." 1.1729 0.02556 266 224 38 4
4508 I need to protect my assets! 1.1729 0.02717 266 227 32 7
4509 To get the desired softened effect,boxing gloves may be used instead of the pedal. 1.1729 0.02665 266 226 34 6
4510 You disgust me. 1.1728 0.02678 272 232 33 7
4511 And now, Boom Chuck Chuck in D minor. 1.1728 0.02678 272 232 33 7
4512 A concert pianist's bad dream after eating spicy tuna rolls after 9pm 1.1728 0.02724 301 261 28 12
4513 Contemporary music these days... 1.1728 0.02556 301 257 36 8
4514 You may remember me from the orchestra for “Rocky” on Broadway. 1.1727 0.02641 278 237 34 7
4515 For my encore, I will play a two finger polka. 1.1727 0.02641 278 237 34 7
4516 And now, I will take on Bach’s Canon. 1.1725 0.02677 255 216 34 5
4517 I thought they said grand championship, not grand piano. 1.1725 0.02458 284 239 41 4
4518 Concerto “Antifortisimo” 1.1725 0.02605 284 242 35 7
4519 Hitting the keys has a whole new meaning with these gloves on. 1.1725 0.02458 284 239 41 4
4520 You try playing with these things on. 1.1724 0.02801 261 224 29 8
4521 Can you punch me in? 1.1724 0.02662 290 249 32 9
4522 So this little number’s called, ‘Race for the White House.’ 1.1723 0.02472 325 278 38 9
4523 Damn it! Not this again," huffed his unimpressed, exasperated subconscious at his mediocre nightmares. 1.1723 0.02445 296 250 41 5
4524 This next piece is the TV sportscast theme from "The Rumble in the Jungle." 1.1723 0.02708 267 228 32 7
4525 He’s really taking the battle of the bands serious this year 1.1723 0.02655 267 227 34 6
4526 For my next number, Chopsticks. 1.1722 0.02416 302 255 42 5
4527 No, I didn't forget anything! 1.1722 0.02513 273 230 39 4
4528 Excuse me, but it's NOT called ham-fisted! 1.1722 0.02566 273 231 37 5
4529 I was told it was impolite to tickle the ivories without their permission. 1.1720 0.02632 279 238 34 7
4530 This week I'm trying out boom-boxing. 1.1720 0.02583 279 237 36 6
4531 If you have any requests, please raise your glove 1.1720 0.02583 279 237 36 6
4532 In the next round I'm going to play one of the all-time hardest hits of Rodgers and Pummelstein. 1.1720 0.02532 279 236 38 5
4533 All my unfinished symphony needs is for me to complete the punch list. 1.1720 0.02681 279 239 32 8
4534 Keep playing or start fighting, that's the question 1.1720 0.02402 314 266 42 6
4535 Tell me when I get to a 10-count. 1.1720 0.02402 314 266 42 6
4536 What! I was to train Bach's way, not box way? 1.1719 0.02450 285 240 41 4
4537 And now for some post-Charles Ives. 1.1719 0.02667 256 217 34 5
4538 Let's see you demand 'Free Bird' now. 1.1718 0.02420 291 245 42 4
4539 Tonight, I’ll be playing 4’33”. 1.1718 0.02653 291 250 32 9
4540 Welcome to the new Two Note Piano!! 1.1718 0.02562 291 248 36 7
4541 Ah, the light! It was prerecorded, yes, but I wrote every word. 1.1718 0.02629 262 222 35 5
4542 Pound-for-pound, Frank is one of the best, but tonight he just couldn’t beat the refrain. 1.1717 0.02343 297 249 45 3
4543 My agent asked me to perform something more inside the box. 1.1717 0.02529 297 253 37 7
4544 Sure, I'll play you a song. But first, I need to take off my gloves! 1.1716 0.02698 268 229 32 7
4545 One more thing, I majored in Sociology. 1.1716 0.02584 303 260 34 9
4546 Does the key of A major have three sharps? 1.1716 0.02408 303 256 42 5
4547 Of course it looks silly - but you try playing pianissimo on a Hammerklavier 1.1715 0.02558 274 232 37 5
4548 The next piece was originally composed by Rocky Marciano. 1.1714 0.02524 280 237 38 5
4549 Wow, that concerto really packed a punch. 1.1714 0.02672 280 240 32 8
4550 I was told "the gloves won't come off" Chris Krusa 1.1712 0.02363 292 245 44 3
4551 Maestro, cut me please. 1.1712 0.02412 292 246 42 4
4552 And now for a song by Everlast. 1.1712 0.02429 333 285 39 9
4553 And you all sound like you're sawing wood. 1.1711 0.02566 298 255 35 8
4554 I shall now perform Rachmaninoff's Concerto No. 3, followed by a piece of my own composition, Lionel's one-two. 1.1711 0.02564 263 222 37 4
4555 This next one is called 'The Fight for Art.' 1.1711 0.02576 304 261 34 9
4556 And now Eye of the Tiger in C minor 1.1710 0.02530 269 227 38 4
4557 This next dance will be the box step. 1.1710 0.02584 269 228 36 5
4558 I'll just be pounding out a few jabs for you, until the main event tonight. 1.1710 0.02530 269 227 38 4
4559 I said with my hands tied behind my back 1.1709 0.02601 275 234 35 6
4560 I shall perform a round by the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.1709 0.02601 275 234 35 6
4561 Float like a butterfly, sting like Ali. 1.1708 0.02615 281 240 34 7
4562 Theme to 'Rocky'." 1.1707 0.02627 287 246 33 8
4563 If it calls for cords I can. 1.1706 0.02405 293 247 42 4
4564 I knocked that song out of the ring. 1.1706 0.02627 252 213 35 4
4565 This next one goes out to The Enemy of the People. 1.1706 0.02644 299 258 31 10
4566 I shall now proceed with " The Lost Chords" 1.1706 0.02469 299 254 39 6
4567 Ah! I beg your pardon. Bach’s what? 1.1706 0.02514 299 255 37 7
4568 I don’t care if Streisand loves The Main Event, I’m never playing it agaiin. 1.1705 0.02704 258 220 32 6
4569 Oh! I prepared for the wrong event! 1.1705 0.02525 305 261 36 8
4570 So which joker requested The Minute Waltz? 1.1704 0.02575 270 229 36 5
4571 No need to go to this extreme. I promise: no more chopsticks! 1.1703 0.02543 317 273 34 10
4572 This is one of Tchaikovsky's greatest hits. I hope you'll enjoy it. 1.1703 0.02435 276 232 41 3
4573 On the scales at 300lbs... 1.1702 0.02654 282 242 32 8
4574 Oops! Wrong Job. 1.1701 0.02572 288 246 35 7
4575 No requests for “Freebird,” lest thee desire a proper pummeling. 1.1701 0.02572 288 246 35 7
4576 Are you sure this is how to play Diminuendo? 1.1701 0.02445 294 249 40 5
4577 And this next piece is just brutal on my fingers. 1.1701 0.02445 294 249 40 5
4578 Standing in for Paul Simon tonight....George Foreman! 1.1701 0.02628 294 253 32 9
4579 ... and my next piece is entitled 'Banging on Keys with Boxing Gloves'... in D minor 1.1700 0.02415 300 254 41 5
4580 It's my way of fighting the good fight. 1.1699 0.02295 306 257 46 3
4581 Now I'll play Chopin with my left foot while eating an ear of corn. 1.1699 0.02475 306 261 38 7
4582 Sorry folks can't play tonight; this stage fight got the best of me. 1.1699 0.02270 312 262 47 3
4583 Now for the knock out blow! 1.1698 0.02656 265 226 33 6
4584 That was the Moonlight Sonata. Oh, no, wait--it was Frosty the Snowman. 1.1698 0.02602 265 225 35 5
4585 I will now demonstrate how to properly beat an antique piano. 1.1698 0.02546 265 224 37 4
4586 I'm the first boxer to perform in Carnegie Hall. 1.1697 0.02683 277 238 31 8
4587 Now let’s just lay back with the smooth ‘n’ easy sound of Chuck Wepner. 1.1696 0.02646 283 243 32 8
4588 I don’t want anyone stealing my fingerings. 1.1696 0.02598 283 242 34 7
4589 For my next piece, I will play Bacchanale by John Cage 1.1695 0.02663 295 255 30 10
4590 My next set has a pirate theme....pass me my hook please. 1.1693 0.02395 313 266 41 6
4591 I just hate playing with cold hands. 1.1693 0.02479 313 268 37 8
4592 And now, a selection of pieces from Ludwig Von Beathovan, Wolfgang Ama-No Mas Mozart, Johann Sebashing Bach and Giacomo Punchini. 1.1693 0.02489 319 274 36 9
4593 Way easier than my last job. There we had to know how to count all the way up to 10... 1.1692 0.02629 260 221 34 5
4594 I will now go Bach to basics. 1.1691 0.02558 272 231 36 5
4595 Now, for my next act, I will make this piano disappear! 1.1691 0.02610 272 232 34 6
4596 And now, a short tone poem by Floyd Mayweather... 1.1691 0.02504 272 230 38 4
4597 This next piece is called: "Alex Jones in C Minor". 1.1691 0.02816 278 242 25 11
4598 And now for box prelude in C Major. 1.1690 0.02684 284 245 30 9
4599 And the last piece tonight is Ali's "Piano Sonata in A minor". 1.1690 0.02541 284 242 36 6
4600 Und now vee geev you Bach’s ‘Erhöhtes Fleisch und Blut’ 1.1690 0.02441 284 240 40 4
4601 Are you sure Beethoven started this way? 1.1690 0.02508 290 247 37 6
4602 And now for the Bach-sing along! 1.1689 0.02522 296 253 36 7
4603 Hey look, Mohammed Ali was a poet. I’m a pianist. 1.1689 0.02740 296 258 26 12
4604 I'm thrilled to debut my most recent composition. 'The 2018 Overture in G Major' 1.1689 0.02334 296 249 44 3
4605 There are those who find Rachmaninoff bombastic. 1.1686 0.02827 255 220 27 8
4606 What have you been smocking? Gloves have nothing to do with it. Really bad piano tuner! 1.1686 0.02730 261 224 30 7
4607 I’m a lover, not a fighter! 1.1685 0.02742 267 230 29 8
4608 I call this one 'Bopsticks'. 1.1685 0.02616 279 239 33 7
4609 Now, I wrote this piano concerto in honor of "Rocky 4." 1.1685 0.02411 279 235 41 3
4610 So, you think this would go better with a necktie? 1.1684 0.02721 285 247 28 10
4611 His Carnegie Hall dreams knocked out in a single piece. 1.1684 0.02354 291 245 43 3
4612 Could you please tune this piano? 1.1684 0.02452 291 247 39 5
4613 Viggo, this isn't working! 1.1684 0.02547 291 249 35 7
4614 I will now perform a real knockout of a tune! 1.1684 0.02559 297 255 34 8
4615 Play to win! 1.1683 0.02537 309 266 34 9
4616 For my next act, I will be playing "under pressure". 1.1680 0.02590 256 217 35 4
4617 Round 13 1.1679 0.02743 274 237 28 9
4618 Who requested a glove song? 1.1679 0.02558 280 239 35 6
4619 Yes, Frère Jacques IS a round in tonight's Ring cycle. 1.1678 0.02620 286 246 32 8
4620 The next few songs are a touch more mellow, softer.... 1.1678 0.02475 286 243 38 5
4621 Is there a Corner Man in the House? 1.1678 0.02492 292 249 37 6
4622 For my next number, I'm going to play Moe Zart's "Rondo alla Trump" 1.1678 0.02585 292 251 33 8
4623 I'm pretty sure this next one's called, "You Go to My Head." 1.1678 0.02431 304 259 39 6
4624 Oh no, where's the men's room? 1.1678 0.02475 304 260 37 7
4625 We conclude our "Cinema from the 70's" program with this classic rendition of "Eye of the Tiger." 1.1677 0.02529 310 267 34 9
4626 Without your hands and wrists you have no career, so I always keep them safe! 1.1677 0.02358 310 263 42 5
4627 Is this not what it meant when it said the music was hard hitting? 1.1677 0.02374 316 269 41 6
4628 Play to win what? 1.1677 0.02374 316 269 41 6
4629 This next piece was written by a boxer. 1.1673 0.02672 269 231 31 7
4630 And now, 'Everlasting Love'. 1.1673 0.02635 275 236 32 7
4631 As a gentleman, I refuse to take my gloves off. 1.1673 0.02584 275 235 34 6
4632 If I could get someone to cut me I'll begin. 1.1673 0.02635 275 236 32 7
4633 I will be performing several songs this evening, including the soundtrack from all the "Rocky" movies, and my especial favorite, "You Broke My Heart, So I Busted Your Jaw." 1.1673 0.02685 275 237 30 8
4634 I'm just making sure I'm ready for J.K. Simmons when I can't keep tempo. 1.1672 0.02658 287 248 30 9
4635 I know you like immersive experiences, but isn't this a bit much for playing the Rocky theme song? 1.1672 0.02467 287 244 38 5
4636 "In my younger years, I could blend the fourth movement with the fourth round." 1.1672 0.02437 293 249 39 5
4637 I tried to beat the notes, but they kept ringing true. 1.1672 0.02622 293 253 31 9
4638 For my next number I’ll play ‘Buddy, Can You Spar a Dime’ 1.1672 0.02577 293 252 33 8
4639 Take my piano, please 1.1672 0.02531 293 251 35 7
4640 I'll be playing 'Rite of Spring' tonight, I just thought I'd come prepared. 1.1672 0.02499 299 256 36 7
4641 I always told my parents I wanted to fight 1.1672 0.02424 305 260 39 6
4642 slam,bam,ali-kazan! 1.1672 0.02379 305 259 41 5
4643 I will now play Fur Elise as Byron Janis 1.1672 0.02480 311 267 36 8
4644 And now I will play "On Wisconsin," the Badger's fight song. 1.1667 0.02611 270 231 33 6
4645 I play all the right notes 1.1667 0.02629 258 220 33 5
4646 Who wants to hear a rousing rendition of "On Wisconsin?" 1.1667 0.02477 294 251 37 6
4647 Sorry folks, I'm all thumbs tonight. 1.1667 0.02626 276 237 32 7
4648 I want my manicure to last until I give the performance. 1.1667 0.02326 306 259 43 4
4649 The Eye of the Tiger", of course 1.1667 0.02536 300 258 34 8
4650 I've been getting really into Henry Cowell and John Cage lately. 1.1667 0.02440 282 239 39 4
4651 I will now box the boogaloo in D minor. 1.1667 0.02783 252 217 28 7
4652 And you attack a new piece. 1.1667 0.02590 282 242 33 7
4653 And now, from my "Pugilist's Promenade," . . . 1.1667 0.02536 300 258 34 8
4654 The Pianist everyone called "Al Thumbs" 1.1667 0.02479 264 223 38 3
4655 Who wants to hear Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer ? 1.1667 0.02676 276 238 30 8
4656 And now, the bar crawl sonata 1.1667 0.02588 306 265 31 10
4657 When you play Rocky 1.1667 0.02541 282 241 35 6
4658 Stop pounding on the keys! 1.1667 0.02569 294 253 33 8
4659 Punch and Judy Garland 1.1667 0.02503 270 229 37 4
4660 And now, “Fight for Your Right” 1.1661 0.02469 295 252 37 6
4661 My signature composition, 'Hand in Glove, Knock Wood.' Enjoy! 1.1661 0.02515 295 253 35 7
4662 I don’t think the level playing field is all it’s cracked up to be. 1.1661 0.02515 295 253 35 7
4663 That sonata is included in my remastered box set. 1.1661 0.02469 295 252 37 6
4664 Do I use a left hook or a right cross? 1.1661 0.02374 295 250 41 4
4665 'Hard to tickle the ivories with these puppies." 1.1661 0.02548 289 248 34 7
4666 Tonight I will be giving new meaning to "pounding the 88s." 1.1661 0.02595 289 249 32 8
4667 You want me to play Chopsticks? I can't even hold them! 1.1661 0.02595 289 249 32 8
4668 I'll be presenting a program of Bach's music. 1.1661 0.02352 289 244 42 3
4669 It's not really about boxing. 1.1661 0.02300 289 243 44 2
4670 This next piece, I call, Rocky Marciano 1.1661 0.02595 289 249 32 8
4671 I call this piece Glissando. 1.1661 0.02352 289 244 42 3
4672 At this keyboard sits a boxer With a fighter in the wings And he’s wearing the reminders... 1.1661 0.02630 283 244 31 8
4673 How about a duet? 1.1661 0.02483 283 241 37 5
4674 A pugilists worst nightmare 1.1661 0.02582 283 243 33 7
4675 In the clearing stands a boxer... 1.1661 0.02567 277 237 34 6
4676 And now, “The Double Knuckle Concerto” 1.1656 0.02358 308 262 41 5
4677 Please vocalize loudly on my behalf while I bang this out. 1.1656 0.02402 308 263 39 6
4678 I am so sorry, darling, but maybe you can finally begin to understand this crippling commitment phobia 1.1656 0.02402 308 263 39 6
4679 And in just a moment, Ladies and Gentleman, the Keys Lorraine will be ready to come out 1.1656 0.02431 302 258 38 6
4680 If you don't want to hear something awful, somebody better wake me up. 1.1655 0.02507 296 254 35 7
4681 And now, the Saved by the Bell Sonata in D, by Ludwig "Kid Zucker" Schteinmetz 1.1655 0.02444 290 247 38 5
4682 At audience's request, Uppercut Sonata in A Minor. 1.1655 0.02492 290 248 36 6
4683 Free Bird? Coming right up! 1.1655 0.02540 290 249 34 7
4684 I play in broad strokes 1.1655 0.02573 284 244 33 7
4685 And now, 'chop-sticks', by Henry's realative, Ray (Boom-Boom) Mancini!" 1.1655 0.02524 284 243 35 6
4686 And now, as a demonstration of my virtuosity, listen to this! 1.1655 0.02424 284 241 39 4
4687 How to fix jammed piano keys ~wikiHow 1.1655 0.02475 284 242 37 5
4688 And now for your listening plesaure, I will play the theme from "Rocky 1.1655 0.02475 284 242 37 5
4689 And for the main event, I'll be performing Concerto no. 3. 1.1655 0.02454 278 236 38 4
4690 The key to this fight is... 1.1654 0.02645 272 234 31 7
4691 My hands are fine but I should have worn protective headgear. 1.1654 0.02486 272 231 37 4
4692 I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. 1.1654 0.02462 266 225 38 3
4693 Well you're all in the mood for a melee, and I've got you feeling alright. 1.1654 0.02575 266 227 34 5
4694 Folks, does this strike the right note of middle aged whimsy? 1.1654 0.02575 266 227 34 5
4695 BAM BAM BOOM 1.1654 0.02575 266 227 34 5
4696 Look, if I can do contacts, I can do anything with them. 1.1650 0.02481 309 266 35 8
4697 I call it 'Sonata Your Day' in the key of Ouch. 1.1650 0.02468 303 260 36 7
4698 This is how I provided thunderous applause at his rally. 1.1650 0.02407 297 253 39 5
4699 Like this, you always hit the right chords 1.1649 0.02436 291 248 38 5
4700 I call this one Raging Bull in the Eye of the Tiger. 1.1649 0.02436 291 248 38 5
4701 And now, "Toddler on the Ivories". 1.1649 0.02436 291 248 38 5
4702 They said I was too heavy a hitter 1.1649 0.02387 291 247 40 4
4703 And now for a song by an artist known as "Limp Bizkit." 1.1649 0.02467 285 243 37 5
4704 I jab with the left and hook with the right, correct? 1.1649 0.02706 285 248 27 10
4705 Soft and smooth gentle with whites and blacks. 1.1649 0.02467 285 243 37 5
4706 Please excuse the absence of a B flat-on-my-back chord. 1.1649 0.02516 285 244 35 6
4707 Try me...try one more time calling me a pianist. 1.1649 0.02467 285 243 37 5
4708 My first selection is by Bouthoven 1.1649 0.02565 285 245 33 7
4709 We are the champions, my friends And we'll keep on fighting till the end". 1.1649 0.02416 285 242 39 4
4710 Now, my homage to 'Eye of the Tiger'. 1.1649 0.02600 279 240 32 7
4711 Gonna play now 1.1648 0.02584 273 234 33 6
4712 My next piece, is a self-composition, which I call 'Political Bipartisanship.' 1.1648 0.02620 267 229 32 6
4713 I can't do both at the same time. You gotta problem with that? 1.1648 0.02510 267 227 36 4
4714 Floating on Lunesta, "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.1648 0.02657 261 224 31 6
4715 For my critics, we'll settle if it improves the playing? 1.1648 0.02712 261 225 29 7
4716 Will somebody please turn up the thermostat, so I can take these off? Michael Rogness, St. Paul MN 1.1645 0.02371 304 259 40 5
4717 Ladies and Gentleman, now for B-Flat. 1.1645 0.02325 304 258 42 4
4718 And now, 'The Lucky Hand' by Shoenberg. 1.1644 0.02446 298 255 37 6
4719 Perhaps a musical boxing variety show isn’t such a clever idea. 1.1644 0.02492 298 256 35 7
4720 And now from the Adam Sandler movie Punch Drunk Love 1.1643 0.02508 286 245 35 6
4721 For round one, I will play a rhapsody in jab 1.1643 0.02604 286 247 31 8
4722 While difficult, it’s easier than being a defensive back... 1.1643 0.02438 280 238 38 4
4723 Good thing this is a talent show. 1.1643 0.02591 280 241 32 7
4724 I call this one the "pugilistic pianist." 1.1643 0.02541 280 240 34 6
4725 Uhh...would it be alright if I just played chopsticks tonight? 1.1642 0.02627 274 236 31 7
4726 Rocky", eight coun 1.1642 0.02575 274 235 33 6
4727 Listen up, kids. Never be afraid of expressing yourself. 1.1642 0.02415 274 232 39 3
4728 At least I have clothes on 1.1642 0.02611 268 230 32 6
4729 And now, Box Two Part Inventions. 1.1641 0.02702 262 226 29 7
4730 I think these are very effective in subduing the percussion expression of Mozart's compositions for harpsichord. 1.1641 0.02592 262 224 33 5
4731 Fighter introduces Gleft. 1.1640 0.02544 250 212 35 3
4732 Ignazio vs. John Cage 1.1639 0.02540 305 264 32 9
4733 These new Rocky installments keep getting stranger and stranger... 1.1639 0.02438 299 256 37 6
4734 I’ve been feeling a bit punchy lately 1.1639 0.02438 299 256 37 6
4735 Ladies and gentlemen, my next piece will be the premier of the Ring Cycle as interpreted by Gio Palooka. 1.1639 0.02529 299 258 33 8
4736 No, I'm not cancelled. 1.1639 0.02392 299 255 39 5
4737 I know I’m all thumbs, but I can really knock out a great tune! 1.1638 0.02469 293 251 36 6
4738 'Chopsticks' is not on tonight's set list. 1.1638 0.02733 287 251 25 11
4739 I wrote this one after being clocked by Mike Tyson in the ring. It's called 'Huh?' 1.1638 0.02451 287 245 37 5
4740 Why is Mike Tyson the conductor? 1.1638 0.02596 287 248 31 8
4741 My next piece will be Piano Fighter by Warren Zevon. 1.1637 0.02482 281 240 36 5
4742 I will now play 'Chopsticks' blindfolded and without sheet music. 1.1637 0.02482 281 240 36 5
4743 And now, so as not to offend anyone...... 1.1637 0.02430 281 239 38 4
4744 I have to treat my psoriasis during practice. 1.1636 0.02668 275 238 29 8
4745 I might be nervous for the concert. I had this terrible dream last night... 1.1636 0.02567 275 236 33 6
4746 The late pianist was known for his punchy style on the keys. 1.1636 0.02461 275 234 37 4
4747 The composer told me this was a knockout... 1.1636 0.02379 269 227 40 2
4748 Anyone remember the last works of John Coltrane? 1.1636 0.02655 269 232 30 7
4749 I thought I'd play a little Bach's 1.1636 0.02493 269 229 36 4
4750 Gonna giv'm the ole 1, 2, 3, 4 1.1635 0.02526 263 224 35 4
4751 When I sing my Alma mater fight song, I don’t want to ,”tickle the ivories.” 1.1634 0.02402 306 262 38 6
4752 Somebody doesn’t like the way I play. 1.1634 0.02532 306 265 32 9
4753 This piece was composed in July 1919 and dedicated to Jack Dempsey after von Krawlitz won a bundle on the Dempsey/Willard fight. 1.1633 0.02521 300 259 33 8
4754 The only issue is that it is untuned. 1.1633 0.02598 294 255 30 9
4755 Letssss Get Ready To ANIMATO!" 1.1632 0.02540 288 248 33 7
4756 And now, a rendition of my favorite Skrillex song 1.1632 0.02634 288 250 29 9
4757 My next selection will consist of a couple of arpeggio-flourishes, and a combination jab-cross-left hook. The title of this piece is, "The Great Butterfly Dance of Ali in C-Major" by Angelo Dundee. 1.1631 0.02474 282 241 36 5
4758 Think Henny Youngman had great punch lines? You're in for a real treat! 1.1630 0.02539 270 231 34 5
4759 That was my interpretation of the theme from 'Rocky III.' Next, 'Rocky IV.' 1.1629 0.02517 264 225 35 4
4760 And now, the Michigan Fight song. 1.1628 0.02423 301 258 37 6
4761 Just remember your training: jab, jab, jab. 1.1628 0.02423 301 258 37 6
4762 But I'll bite my fingernails if I take them off! 1.1628 0.02778 258 224 26 8
4763 Betethoven's Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67: I. Allegro con brio? SURE! 1.1628 0.02723 258 223 28 7
4764 For tonight's encore, I will play for you the "Theme Song from Rocky" by composer Bill Conti. 1.1628 0.02610 258 221 32 5
4765 Albert realized that his post-bout recital lacked finesse, somehow. 1.1627 0.02500 295 254 34 7
4766 This next selection should make you feel a little punchy. 1.1626 0.02435 289 247 37 5
4767 I'm a classical pianist, yes, but also the next heavyweight champ. 1.1626 0.02385 289 246 39 4
4768 I shall now play this next composition in the pugilist key. 1.1625 0.02498 277 237 35 5
4769 And now, the Multitask prelude composed during the Boxer Rebellion. 1.1625 0.02445 277 236 37 4
4770 And now, I will be playing "Gonna Fly Now" in C Major 1.1625 0.02445 277 236 37 4
4771 Sir! In the front, you — the Belgian-looking guy. Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once. I will NOT be playing "White Iverson" again tonight, so you can stop fucking asking, OK? 1.1625 0.02841 277 244 21 12
4772 What’s wrong? I like to punch the keys. 1.1625 0.02650 277 240 29 8
4773 One more request for 'Melancholy Baby' and I'll put my dukes up. 1.1625 0.02391 277 235 39 3
4774 Baby, don't get hooked on me! 1.1622 0.02398 296 253 38 5
4775 It made a fool of me once too often! 1.1622 0.02301 296 251 42 3
4776 And now, a little something I call, 'Rap City in Two'. 1.1622 0.02768 259 225 26 8
4777 'Melancholy Baby' a la Charles Ives? No problem. 1.1620 0.02458 284 243 36 5
4778 And now my newest composition: "Crawl of the Sloth" 1.1620 0.02458 284 243 36 5
4779 I'd like to dedicate this next song to Freddie Mercury. 1.1619 0.02641 278 241 29 8
4780 Hope you enjoy my latest composition. I call it 'Noise'."__% 1.1618 0.02627 272 235 30 7
4781 My next number is a real "knockout"! Jeff Manly Toronto, On. 1.1617 0.02584 303 264 29 10
4782 It's a living! 1.1616 0.02391 297 254 38 5
4783 You can,t beat this song 1.1616 0.02343 297 253 40 4
4784 I can give you Hits or a can give you punches 1.1615 0.02474 260 221 36 3
4785 Oh, come on! This is how the original piece was written! 1.1615 0.02648 260 224 30 6
4786 So, music speaks to me. Last night, it said, killing me softly with this next song. I'll do my best. 1.1615 0.02608 291 253 29 9
4787 You forgot to take the gloves off.. 1.1613 0.02501 310 269 32 9
4788 The add said something about swing, I assumed I'd need punch too. 1.1612 0.02576 304 265 29 10
4789 The una corda pedal is malfunctioning. 1.1612 0.02566 273 235 32 6
4790 I’ve got a hand modeling gig tomorrow morning! 1.1610 0.02412 292 250 37 5
4791 Playing Country Music for Your Pleasure 1.1608 0.02635 286 249 28 9
4792 Pounding the keys is the only way to play Boxx 1.1608 0.02452 311 269 34 8
4793 I like the way it sounds when I play with my boxing gloves on; kinda like I'm crappin' thunder! 1.1608 0.02452 311 269 34 8
4794 Sir, the song you are performing is requiem for a fighter; not The Boxer! 1.1607 0.02420 280 239 37 4
4795 Let's Get Ready to... Percussion? 1.1607 0.02574 280 242 31 7
4796 Is anyone going to unlace them for me? 1.1607 0.02524 280 241 33 6
4797 I think I'm punching above my weight. 1.1606 0.02339 274 232 40 2
4798 The piano was prepared, but Mike wasn't. 1.1606 0.02710 274 239 26 9
4799 Did I hear a request for "Mama Said Knock You Out?" 1.1605 0.02376 299 256 38 5
4800 Gives me that soft touch. 1.1604 0.02453 293 252 35 6
4801 My major in Composition and minor in Method Acting give 'Gonna Fly Now' a real one-two punch. 1.1604 0.02500 293 253 33 7
4802 Once I built a tower, now it's done. Brother, can you spar a dime? 1.1604 0.02404 293 251 37 5
4803 And now I will bang your out a few of my favorite tunes for you 1.1604 0.02404 293 251 37 5
4804 And now, Eye of the Tiger! 1.1603 0.02515 262 224 34 4
4805 Mmmfm fmmmf mffmm fmmfm! 1.1603 0.02484 287 247 34 6
4806 And now for my own composition, "The Ballad of the Boxer: A blow by blow account" 1.1602 0.02489 256 218 35 3
4807 A Heavyweight Music Box 1.1601 0.02413 281 240 37 4
4808 baby, its cold inside 1.1601 0.02566 281 243 31 7
4809 Old habits die hard! 1.1600 0.02272 300 255 42 3
4810 From his earliest days Luigi had promised, ‘Rachmaninov and Marciano!, Rachmaninov and Marciano!’. 1.1600 0.02443 275 235 36 4
4811 Now I'm going to punch the keys to Eye of the Tiger 1.1600 0.02549 275 237 32 6
4812 Float like a butterfly, tickle the keys, no one tried harder than self-proclaimed Mozart Ali. 1.1599 0.02689 269 234 27 8
4813 We be ham fisting. Yeah! 1.1599 0.02529 269 231 33 5
4814 Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...! 1.1599 0.02474 269 230 35 4
4815 You think so? I'm gonna knock 'em dead. 1.1599 0.02529 269 231 33 5
4816 Just plunking out an idea for a Rocky 9 theme. 1.1597 0.02352 313 269 38 6
4817 There had once been a time when Albert did not feel quite so defensive about his affinity for playing Russian pop music. 1.1596 0.02557 282 244 31 7
4818 The critics say I punch out the melodic line. 1.1595 0.02657 257 222 29 6
4819 And now, Chris Brown’s cover of Rihanna 1.1594 0.02642 276 240 28 8
4820 And now for the debut of my latest composition, 'Glissando Serenade, in F♯ Major' 1.1594 0.02692 276 241 26 9
4821 Do not try this at home. "Do not try this at home." 1.1594 0.02592 276 239 30 7
4822 How about something by Choppin'? 1.1594 0.02540 276 238 32 6
4823 It practically plays itself 1.1593 0.02389 295 253 37 5
4824 You're gonna love this guy, Zoe! He's a real knockout! 1.1593 0.02240 295 250 43 2
4825 And now for my next selection, "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J. 1.1591 0.02439 264 225 36 3
4826 I'm not sure that concert pianists NEED a handicap system. 1.1591 0.02439 264 225 36 3
4827 For my next piece, I shall play a ten roundelay. 1.1591 0.02719 264 230 26 8
4828 Cowell or Bartok? 1.1591 0.02416 308 266 35 7
4829 My next selection, The FIGHT of the Bumblebee. 1.1590 0.02650 239 205 30 4
4830 Sorry. I can't play with myself. 1.1589 0.02354 302 259 38 5
4831 And I can play this piece with one hand tied behind my back! 1.1588 0.02532 277 239 32 6
4832 DUM DUM DUM DUM... 1.1588 0.02532 277 239 32 6
4833 I shook up the world! I shook up the world, by playing Shostakovich! 1.1588 0.02567 296 258 29 9
4834 It's a Balwin 1.1586 0.02601 290 253 28 9
4835 He is a germaphobe - won't touch anything without gloves 1.1586 0.02361 290 248 38 4
4836 We're going to need you to play with more punch. 1.1586 0.02310 290 247 40 3
4837 And now... Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata in D-flat Major 1.1585 0.02538 246 210 33 3
4838 Imposter syndrome? Never heard of it! 1.1585 0.02546 265 228 32 5
4839 This latest workout fad is not what I signed up for. 1.1585 0.02440 284 244 35 5
4840 Thank you. My next song has a real sweet beat. 1.1585 0.02389 284 243 37 4
4841 I can't even do Chopsticks 1.1585 0.02637 284 248 27 9
4842 I was hoping for a dissonant sound. 1.1585 0.02491 284 245 33 6
4843 I was going to take my gloves off and let you know how I really felt, but this is Carnegie Hall, isn't it? 1.1584 0.02438 303 262 34 7
4844 Now for the Cantus firmus. 1.1582 0.02514 297 258 31 8
4845 Everyone needs a second job these days!! 1.1582 0.02559 297 259 29 9
4846 This seems a bit extreme for a single hangnail. 1.1581 0.02449 272 233 35 4
4847 Written by Fisto Pugilist, this is simply entitled...BALBOA." 1.1581 0.02557 272 235 31 6
4848 I'm an outside the boxer thinker 1.1581 0.02403 291 250 36 5
4849 And now my rendition of 'Flight of the Bumble Bee...' 1.1579 0.02674 285 250 25 10
4850 Buxtehude? I thought you said Boxed a Hoodie." 1.1579 0.02340 304 261 38 5
4851 'Excuse me while I lay down some phat beats...' 1.1579 0.02532 285 247 31 7
4852 A boxer's dream 1.1579 0.02537 266 229 32 5
4853 I'd love to play the concerto but I feel all tied up and boxed in. 1.1579 0.02213 323 276 43 4
4854 Ladies and gentlemen—I present to you, the -only- way to play Eye of The Tiger… 1.1579 0.02592 266 230 30 6
4855 Wanna hear me play Chopstick ? 1.1577 0.02530 317 278 28 11
4856 And now, Round 3 of Tyson versus Holyfield. 1.1577 0.02461 298 258 33 7
4857 Next, “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” 1.1577 0.02367 298 256 37 5
4858 my next number is entitled: discordance is just frame of mind 1.1577 0.02356 279 238 38 3
4859 We here at he Music Box have added something new! 1.1577 0.02515 279 241 32 6
4860 This captures their attention from the get-go 1.1575 0.02395 292 251 36 5
4861 Still not as bad as the time I entered that high-heel race. 1.1575 0.02346 292 250 38 4
4862 This is that old chestnut: Belt It Out and Punch It Home 1.1575 0.02652 273 238 27 8
4863 What do you mean, you never saw the movie "Jaws" 1.1575 0.02601 273 237 29 7
4864 His recital was every bit as staged as a WWE match 1.1575 0.02440 273 234 35 4
4865 I just wanted the kids to talk about me. 1.1575 0.02601 273 237 29 7
4866 Now, the Detroit tocatto in the style of Thomas the hitman Hearns. 1.1575 0.02422 254 216 36 2
4867 This is the welterweight performance of the Right Hook Overture 1.1574 0.02378 305 263 36 6
4868 It says to play it ff af 1.1573 0.02637 267 232 28 7
4869 I will now attempt the Minute Waltz 1.1571 0.02562 261 225 31 5
4870 Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m expecting a standing ovation.... 1.1570 0.02236 293 249 42 2
4871 Be-Bop-A-Lula! 1.1570 0.02388 293 252 36 5
4872 I said to book The Black Eyed Peas, not Keys. 1.1570 0.02530 293 255 30 8
4873 I'd like to play chopsticks. Again. 1.1569 0.02432 274 235 35 4
4874 What!? It’s strong conceptual music! 1.1569 0.02540 274 237 31 6
4875 If you don't like it, come on up here and fight me. 1.1568 0.02366 287 246 37 4
4876 I'm trying to play Spar Spangled Banner 1.1568 0.02366 287 246 37 4
4877 Welcome to the third concert in our series, Beethoven’s Great Beat-Downs! Bill Hunter, Plymouth, MA 1.1568 0.02314 287 245 39 3
4878 Wrong scenario impresario!! 1.1568 0.02261 287 244 41 2
4879 I need a tuning. 1.1567 0.02347 268 228 38 2
4880 Before I begin, I’d like to thank my parents for showing me the value of compromise, as applied to my choices for after-school activities...and now, the MMA concerto. 1.1567 0.02463 268 230 34 4
4881 I can't play a chord progression, but I can play you a few chords. 1.1566 0.02498 281 243 32 6
4882 The gloves are on... 1.1566 0.02447 281 242 34 5
4883 I wrote this next song for all of the Pianist-Pugilists out there. It'll knock your socks off! 1.1565 0.02436 262 224 35 3
4884 If the very attractive redhead in the first row would take a seat - I'll proceed with 'Concerto with no Hands.' 1.1565 0.02281 294 251 40 3
4885 I need a volunteer from the audience to hold open the piano while I work the inside. 1.1564 0.02424 275 236 35 4
4886 Still better than boxing in a top hat. 1.1564 0.02369 275 235 37 3
4887 Saturday Nite’s alright for fighting 1.1564 0.02478 275 237 33 5
4888 I thought they said, “you are to play-box piano concertos.” 1.1564 0.02424 275 236 35 4
4889 Mom says it sounds like I'm playing the bagpipes... 1.1564 0.02409 307 266 34 7
4890 Yes, it appears that Round One goes to the piano, but for my next number, I'd like to try a little Tchaikovsky. 1.1564 0.02495 307 268 30 9
4891 And now, the "Concerto Grosso Mosso" by Spinks. 1.1562 0.02217 320 274 42 4
4892 I heard he was all thumbs, but this is ridiculous! 1.1562 0.02459 288 249 33 6
4893 And now for my Chopin. 1.1561 0.02392 301 260 35 6
4894 This way I can have that heavy Horowitz touch. 1.1561 0.02339 269 229 38 2
4895 I always wear gloves when playing a percussion sport. 1.1561 0.02511 269 232 32 5
4896 Life's not a about how hard of a hit you can give... It's about how many keys you hit before the security notices. 1.1561 0.02286 314 270 39 5
4897 These gloves came as a boxed set! 1.1560 0.02387 282 242 36 4
4898 Who would like to hear Knock-out? 1.1560 0.02439 282 243 34 5
4899 You think this is ridiculous, .... 1.1560 0.02540 282 245 30 7
4900 I am playing piano while wearing boxing gloves. 1.1560 0.02686 250 217 27 6
4901 Impetigo,mates. 1.1559 0.02514 295 257 30 8
4902 The conductor was afraid I would play off beat 1.1559 0.02487 263 226 33 4
4903 ...and now for my truly smashing rendition of the Diabelli Variations 1.1558 0.02574 276 240 29 7
4904 See,I can’t play jingle bells one more time. 1.1557 0.02401 289 249 35 5
4905 And now ladies and gentlemen, Bach’s Concerto in C major for Two Pianos! 1.1557 0.02299 289 247 39 3
4906 Yes I can see how piano and boxing can sound the same. 1.1556 0.02638 257 223 28 6
4907 You may have heard this next one ... "Float like a Butterfly, Play like a Cat." 1.1556 0.02562 302 265 27 10
4908 Everyone get up and dance to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." 1.1556 0.02331 270 230 38 2
4909 Yes, but I can play it with a handicap. 1.1556 0.02610 270 235 28 7
4910 I thought that you said "Chop On," not Chopin! 1.1554 0.02506 296 258 30 8
4911 I have a severe Gershwin allergy. 1.1554 0.02506 296 258 30 8
4912 It's better than my last job I had with these; picking flea shit out of black pepper. 1.1553 0.02437 309 269 32 8
4913 Are there any chopsticks in the house? 1.1553 0.02333 322 279 36 7
4914 This next one is Rocky Manoff’s Prelude in C Minor. 1.1552 0.02566 277 241 29 7
4915 And now for my version of Rachy II...... 1.1550 0.02570 258 223 30 5
4916 Before I formally begin the work, I should like to execute a little soundcheck for those of us in the balconies. 1.1550 0.02628 258 224 28 6
4917 I gotta right to sing the blues... 1.1549 0.02572 284 248 28 8
4918 This is Beethoven's Concerto 1-2 (Jab-Right Cross) 1.1549 0.02318 284 243 38 3
4919 Don't bring boxing gloves to a piano fight. 1.1549 0.02406 297 257 34 6
4920 ffuck. Everyone happy with ffortissimo? 1.1549 0.02406 297 257 34 6
4921 I plan to take off the gloves, if the completion gives any indication that it might be a challenge. 1.1549 0.02259 297 254 40 3
4922 This guy's SWINGING. 1.1548 0.02284 323 279 38 6
4923 my next number is Rocky Rolling with the Punches 1.1548 0.02606 252 218 29 5
4924 Ladies and gentlemen, the official scoring is a draw. No blows were landed during the 4'33''. 1.1547 0.02411 265 227 35 3
4925 It is the sweet art. 1.1547 0.02453 278 240 33 5
4926 Next, I'll play the Moonlight, er Moonfight Sonata 1.1547 0.02289 278 237 39 2
4927 for my next selection after the flight and attack of the bumblebees 1.1547 0.02453 278 240 33 5
4928 Uh, "Flight of the Bumblebee," in B Flat Minor. 1.1547 0.02453 278 240 33 5
4929 And now, the Battlt Hymn of the Boxer Rebellion! 1.1546 0.02386 291 251 35 5
4930 This shouldn’t hurt spectator’s ears! 1.1546 0.02228 304 260 41 3
4931 It's heavy metal night. 1.1544 0.02644 272 238 26 8
4932 My next number is what I call The Butterfly and the Bee. Flying and Stinging are my favorite parts. Enjoy!" 1.1544 0.02659 285 251 24 10
4933 I bring you now Box Concerto Number in D Minor. 1.1541 0.02518 266 230 31 5
4934 Who said play it again Rocky 1.1541 0.02614 292 257 25 10
4935 And now a selection of Brahms, in the eye of the tiger. 1.1541 0.02328 292 251 37 4
4936 My percussion teacher recommends an eclectic approach to piano playing. 1.1538 0.02195 299 255 42 2
4937 This next piece was composed by Harrison Bergeron. 1.1538 0.02356 286 246 36 4
4938 Pugilistic pucussion Opis. 3 1.1538 0.02685 273 240 24 9
4939 Is this someone's sick idea of a joke? 1.1538 0.02476 273 236 32 5
4940 Hello? 1.1538 0.02556 286 250 28 8
4941 Let me move you with a few "tone clusters". 1.1538 0.02407 286 247 34 5
4942 This piece will be played in fourths. 1.1538 0.02603 286 251 26 9
4943 I suppose you want me to play “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.1538 0.02476 273 236 32 5
4944 I need these to play all soft like. 1.1538 0.02421 273 235 34 4
4945 Don’t give up your day job 1.1536 0.02215 306 262 41 3
4946 This isn’t exactly what I had in mind by the piano needing a tune up! 1.1536 0.02321 293 252 37 4
4947 I just can't fight this feeling anymore... now somebody cut these thing off of me! 1.1536 0.02321 293 252 37 4
4948 I thought I was invited to a pugilist contest not a pianist concert! 1.1536 0.02437 280 242 33 5
4949 Taking a test for the right to vote—I need to play Dixie. 1.1536 0.02437 280 242 33 5
4950 Could you kill the lights? you aren't gonna want to hear or see this." 1.1536 0.02564 267 232 29 6
4951 I'm protecting my hands before tomorrow's title fight. 1.1536 0.02452 267 230 33 4
4952 I feel bad for things with paws. 1.1533 0.02522 274 238 30 6
4953 ..and now I'll play Chopin. 1.1531 0.02263 294 252 39 3
4954 It isn't what it looks like! 1.1531 0.02363 294 254 35 5
4955 And now, Chopin’s Nocturne in B-flat minor, as interpreted by Keyboard Kat. 1.1530 0.02531 281 245 29 7
4956 The proclivities of my Father have nothing to do with this! 1.1530 0.02444 268 231 33 4
4957 I was classically trained in the "think system". 1.1530 0.02500 268 232 31 5
4958 Next: The Boxer. Just me. Simon and Garfunkel have the day off. 1.1528 0.02329 301 260 36 5
4959 I don't care what you think,it's comfortable! 1.1527 0.02292 275 235 38 2
4960 I thought this was a keypunch machine. 1.1527 0.02349 275 236 36 3
4961 He gloats like a baritone, but sings like a chickadee. 1.1527 0.02565 275 240 28 7
4962 I'm all for tickling the ivories, but this is Chopin's Black Key Étude. 1.1527 0.02534 262 227 30 5
4963 I thought they said thunderdome not metronome 1.1526 0.02202 308 264 41 3
4964 Jackson Pollack Rhapsody No. 4 in C Sharp Minor. 1.1525 0.02498 295 258 29 8
4965 Adrian!! Adrian!! 1.1525 0.02523 282 246 29 7
4966 I'm here for the keypunch operator position. 1.1525 0.02523 282 246 29 7
4967 And now, Liberocky playing “Hey Adrian”. 1.1525 0.02368 282 243 35 4
4968 I guarantee this will be the best rendition of Boulez's Second Piano Sonata you will hear. 1.1525 0.02523 282 246 29 7
4969 This is the next book of Gene Luen Yang: Boxers & Pianists. 1.1524 0.02318 269 230 37 2
4970 Be prepared. I'm coming out with a swing. 1.1523 0.02274 302 260 38 4
4971 And now I shall play the final masterpiece by Trumpelstiltskin. 1.1522 0.02483 289 252 30 7
4972 I will now play Chopin's sonata for boxing gloves. 1.1522 0.02384 289 250 34 5
4973 This one goes out to all the hangry people in the house. 1.1522 0.02281 289 248 38 3
4974 I should have just majored in Engineering. 1.1522 0.02318 322 280 35 7
4975 Do I look like Tom Hanks? 1.1522 0.02397 276 238 34 4
4976 Sing us a song Cinderella man! Sing us a song tonight 1.1522 0.02451 276 239 32 5
4977 I’m playing it “pianissimo”. 1.1519 0.02515 283 247 29 7
4978 Ah-oneeeeee....ah-twooooo....ah-threeeee....ah fou 1.1519 0.02360 283 244 35 4
4979 Which keys should I rubeato? 1.1519 0.02538 270 235 29 6
4980 I dunno, my agent said something about 'twinkle toes', boxing, a piano, an audition and I just... Tried to be prepared for anything, 1.1517 0.02376 290 251 34 5
4981 And now let us proceed to Bach's piano solo. 1.1516 0.02389 277 239 34 4
4982 They want something new and different. 1.1516 0.02415 310 271 31 8
4983 ...and in this corner... 1.1516 0.02327 310 269 35 6
4984 I hope you weren't expecting "Chopsticks" with these things. 1.1515 0.02338 264 226 36 2
4985 Affection for this next little number was the only other thing in common betwixt Rocky Marciano, Rocky Balboa, and Rocky the Flying Squirrel.” 1.1515 0.02572 264 230 28 6
4986 A blind pianist? Wait until you see this next guy. 1.1514 0.02299 284 244 37 3
4987 Haven’t you ever seen Elton John play with his feet? 1.1514 0.02506 284 248 29 7
4988 Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you... "Gonna Fly Now" from Rocky's 1st symphony. 1.1514 0.02556 284 249 27 8
4989 I call it a "boxerto"! 1.1513 0.02354 304 264 34 6
4990 Perfect to start off Tchaikovsky's first Piano Concerto! 1.1513 0.02686 271 239 23 9
4991 I told you, I play hand in gloves... 1.1512 0.02213 291 249 40 2
4992 Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. Nobody knows but Jesus. 1.1512 0.02665 258 226 25 7
4993 I 'm just here for free drinks. My twin is the musical one. 1.1512 0.02550 258 224 29 5
4994 This one goes out to Harrison Bergeron. 1.1512 0.02608 258 225 27 6
4995 Do you think we could make an exception to the "all employees must wear boxing gloves at Mike Tyson events" ? 1.1510 0.02382 298 259 33 6
4996 Apologies. I was under the impression I was to be playing Beatoven, not Beethoven, tonight. 1.1510 0.02382 298 259 33 6
4997 I’m toe tarry I’m not feeling very well tonight, I’m fighting a bad chord. 1.1509 0.02397 285 247 33 5
4998 Beethoven wrote the next sonata in seven #s. 1.1507 0.02520 272 237 29 6
4999 I AM the Greatest, but "Freebird?" Really?? 1.1507 0.02626 272 239 25 8
5000 Last song he was sharp, but now he just sounds flat. 1.1506 0.02175 312 268 41 3
5001 I'll be playing the Boxing Ring Cycle. 1.1505 0.02581 279 245 26 8
5002 And now... a slam dance tune! 1.1505 0.02327 299 259 35 5
5003 What I burnt my hands. 1.1505 0.02467 299 262 29 8
5004 And now from "The Suite Science..." 1.1503 0.02246 306 264 38 4
5005 take the gloves off and let me kill it 1.1502 0.02512 273 238 29 6
5006 The gloves help when I play Rachmaninoff— especially when I’m ‘Russian’ it (ha ha). 1.1502 0.02252 293 252 38 3
5007 And now for an interpretation of Hurricane. 1.1500 0.02231 320 277 38 5
5008 Has anyone seen my cut man ? This Concerto is killing me. 1.1500 0.02367 300 261 33 6
5009 . . . Gonna Fly Now. Next the theme from Raging Bull, Cavalleria Rusticana Intermezzo. 1.1498 0.02330 287 248 35 4
5010 Your only limit is you 1.1498 0.02382 287 249 33 5
5011 I could not decide if I wanted to be an athlete or a musician! 1.1498 0.02489 267 232 30 5
5012 Sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1497 0.02245 294 253 38 3
5013 Come out swinging? 1.1496 0.02608 274 241 25 8
5014 For my next number, I will be punching above my weight 1.1496 0.02394 274 237 33 4
5015 My next selection will be "Thinking 'bout you" by Frank Ocean 1.1495 0.02452 301 264 29 8
5016 Do you have a shorter bench? I can’t reach the pedals. 1.1495 0.02312 301 261 35 5
5017 Seriously, I'm a lover not a fighter. 1.1495 0.02303 281 242 36 3
5018 Risin' up, back on the keys 1.1495 0.02411 281 244 32 5
5019 Did someone request BeatHoven? 1.1495 0.02514 281 246 28 7
5020 How dare you say I'm all thumbs! 1.1494 0.02692 261 230 23 8
5021 And now for my impression of Jake LaMotta - after he retired. 1.1494 0.02403 261 225 33 3
5022 And now for Box Well-tempered Clavier 1.1494 0.02415 308 270 30 8
5023 This is my ode to Mike Tyson's brilliant Broadway production, his undisputed truth and all the Tysons who went before him. 1.1493 0.02374 288 250 33 5
5024 And now, for your listening enjoyment, my new pie.ce, which I call "Etude: for Boxing Day" 1.1493 0.02374 288 250 33 5
5025 Flight of the bumblebee? 1.1493 0.02697 268 237 22 9
5026 With finesse and endurance, the 88s always defeat the challenger 1.1493 0.02365 268 231 34 3
5027 Oh no I knew I forgot something when I got up this morning... i forgot my hat, my hair will be ruined in this rain! 1.1493 0.02536 268 234 28 6
5028 Mr Houdini, are you in the audience? 1.1492 0.02248 315 273 37 5
5029 Today, I defy Benjamin Franklin's advice to please my critics. 1.1492 0.02289 295 255 36 4
5030 This is a heavyweight piano. I told you I only play Bantam. 1.1492 0.02289 295 255 36 4
5031 And now for a little Simon & Garfunkel ... 1.1491 0.02495 275 240 29 6
5032 It’s easier than chopsticks. 1.1489 0.02350 282 244 34 4
5033 I’m feeling boxed in, at this stage. 1.1489 0.02350 282 244 34 4
5034 When life? Expects more! And you? Disappoint everyone. Mr. President. 1.1489 0.02513 262 228 29 5
5035 Okay, that's better. 1.1487 0.02527 269 235 28 6
5036 And now, I'm going to box your ears! 1.1487 0.02472 269 234 30 5
5037 And now, this, from Joe Frazier and the Knockouts... You'll TOTALLY get the piano part... 1.1485 0.02250 303 262 37 4
5038 I may be punching above my weight, but I’d really like to perform this next piece for you. 1.1483 0.02307 290 251 35 4
5039 And now, Beethoven's fifth... 1.1483 0.02279 317 276 35 6
5040 Wait... is this some sort of twisted metaphor? I thought it was an étude! 1.1481 0.02275 297 257 36 4
5041 I hate playing ham handed songs and music. 1.1481 0.02407 270 234 32 4
5042 I am trying to avoid the flight of the bumblebee 1.1480 0.02384 304 266 31 7
5043 What do you mean, 'this isn't the glove compartment'? 1.1480 0.02384 304 266 31 7
5044 When I dreamed of being a key punch operator I never dreamed there would be an audience. 1.1480 0.02370 277 240 33 4
5045 Sorry, my last sparring partner only knew Heart and Soul. 1.1479 0.02304 311 271 34 6
5046 The meat locker was too cold, so I do this instead. 1.1477 0.02504 298 263 26 9
5047 Can we play it in C major and D major? 1.1476 0.02399 271 235 32 4
5048 I will now play Bill Conti's 'Gonna Fly Now' 1.1474 0.02342 312 273 32 7
5049 I punch the keys for a crisp sound effect. 1.1474 0.02694 251 221 23 7
5050 Unfortunately, the lessons omitted certain key fundamentals. 1.1473 0.02529 258 225 28 5
5051 The next song is 'she's crafty' by the beastie boys 1.1473 0.02490 292 257 27 8
5052 And now, Sonata in A minor by my wittew itty kitty cat, Colonel Chubby Von Meowington... 1.1473 0.02344 292 254 33 5
5053 Okay, guys, I promise I won’t play Chopsticks again. 1.1472 0.02654 265 234 23 8
5054 Can we turn the heat up? These are treble clefs 1.1472 0.02358 299 261 32 6
5055 Flight of the Bumblebee? Come on, someone request a real challenge. 1.1472 0.02309 299 260 34 5
5056 Or would you rather be watching the maestro now replacing me in the ring against the heavyweight world champion? 1.1472 0.02309 299 260 34 5
5057 I'm allergic to bees so I like to wear these when I play Rimsky-Korsakov, 1.1471 0.02501 272 238 28 6
5058 My hero was Harry Houdini.. 1.1471 0.02555 272 239 26 7
5059 Next I will play Tchaikovsky's symphony number 1, 2 and left hook 1.1467 0.02152 300 258 40 2
5060 TKO!!! (Tickle the keys!) 1.1466 0.02361 266 230 33 3
5061 For my next selection,Chopin's 5 Minute Waltz. 1.1465 0.02284 314 274 34 6
5062 Beethoven was a bit if a pugilist 1.1464 0.02453 280 245 29 6
5063 This grand ol' box I'm boxing 'til the whole damn place is rocking I'm the PianoBoxer Man 1.1463 0.02464 287 252 28 7
5064 This next piece is called, 'The Three-Hundred Pound Kitten's Run'. 1.1463 0.02415 287 251 30 6
5065 Fiddlesticks? Why, sure! 1.1463 0.02278 294 255 35 4
5066 That’s it, I’ve warned you before, get that light off me or I’ll.... 1.1463 0.02278 294 255 35 4
5067 How does that Rocky tune sound again? 1.1462 0.02295 301 262 34 5
5068 I used to be a real "hands on" type of guy. 1.1462 0.02389 260 225 32 3
5069 This next one is a Split-Decision. 1.1461 0.02263 308 268 35 5
5070 My parents never loved me. 1.1461 0.02526 267 234 27 6
5071 The key to success is to knock on wood before every performance. 1.1460 0.02317 274 237 34 3
5072 For some reason, Haydn is Hidin' 1.1460 0.02374 274 238 32 4
5073 I can’t believe I forgot to take these boxing gloves off. Too late to do it now! Just have to play the piano with boxing gloves. I should have taken them off earlier. 1.1459 0.02496 281 247 27 7
5074 1st note is a K.O.! 1.1458 0.02419 295 259 29 7
5075 And now for the calming music of Galina Ustvolskaya. 1.1458 0.02167 295 254 39 2
5076 AND STILL CHAMPEON 1.1458 0.02321 295 257 33 5
5077 As they say, "Float like a butterfly, ring like a key" 1.1456 0.02502 261 228 28 5
5078 Enrique “The Spanish Pianist” Carrasco plays the music of Lady Gaga. 1.1455 0.02344 268 232 33 3
5079 I still need to crack my knuckles. 1.1455 0.02222 268 230 37 1
5080 Let's Make the Tune Great Again 1.1455 0.02476 275 241 28 6
5081 I’ve got a touch of the flu, but I’m fighting through it. 1.1454 0.02384 282 246 31 5
5082 And then I wrote my next big hit, 1.1454 0.02436 282 247 29 6
5083 Places, please. 1.1454 0.02276 282 244 35 3
5084 Real champions are always ready for a knockout performance whether in the ring or at the player piano. 1.1453 0.02399 289 253 30 6
5085 I will now attempt to beat the Für Elise land-speed record set by Sir Chuck Norris. 1.1453 0.02458 296 261 27 8
5086 Like Pop always said... "Dance like a dragon flies, and string it all to B." 1.1452 0.02375 303 266 30 7
5087 I play to fight off the blues! 1.1452 0.02328 303 265 32 6
5088 The sound is sharp, but the piano is flat. 1.1450 0.02395 269 234 31 4
5089 I probably can't play Beethoven, but I can play "Row, Row, Row You're Boat". 1.1450 0.02508 269 236 27 6
5090 This is how you play those Chris Nolan trailer noises. 1.1450 0.02452 269 235 29 5
5091 This is the greatest piano concerto ever!... and I’ll slug anyone who says otherwise! 1.1450 0.02276 269 232 35 2
5092 “This next tune is likely to punch out your Likes.” 1.1448 0.02182 290 250 38 2
5093 ...and for my next challanging piece 1.1448 0.02236 290 251 36 3
5094 I only prepared for Hot Cross Buns! 1.1448 0.02355 297 260 31 6
5095 This piece was written for my newly formed, "Heavy Leather band." 1.1448 0.02257 297 258 35 4
5096 I would now like to play for you my latest composition , The rope-a-dope. 1.1448 0.02206 297 257 37 3
5097 Hey Yo Adrian, one more time, I swear just one more time 1.1445 0.02302 263 227 34 2
5098 The gig economy has been very confusing to him 1.1444 0.02236 277 239 36 2
5099 And the beat (box) goes on... 1.1444 0.02570 284 252 23 9
5100 I play the songs, not the melody I'll sing you a song tonight I'm the piano man and I'll make you feel alright 1.1444 0.02148 284 244 39 1
5101 Do you think that this is worse than two left feet? 1.1444 0.02368 284 248 31 5
5102 i call this Tango, Uppercut! 1.1443 0.02229 291 252 36 3
5103 Just tryin' to punch-up Shcumann's Piano Concerto Op. 54 1.1443 0.02250 298 259 35 4
5104 Procrastination wasn’t working. 1.1443 0.02396 298 262 29 7
5105 And next, Rocky's theme in knocked flat. 1.1443 0.02442 298 263 27 8
5106 My next number will be Dwayne Johnson - "The Rock" III 1.1443 0.02267 305 266 34 5
5107 I auditioned for the kettledrum. 1.1442 0.02206 319 278 36 5
5108 Begging your consent, an interpretation of the movement: Pound Me Too. 1.1440 0.02561 250 219 26 5
5109 I call it the 'Stump of a Crash of Rhinos'. 1.1440 0.02456 257 224 29 4
5110 this really is the ONLY way to play Beethoven 1.1439 0.02532 264 232 26 6
5111 Is there an Ali in the House? 1.1439 0.02589 264 233 24 7
5112 What my playing lacks in clarity, my un-bitten fingernails display in acuity. 1.1439 0.02416 264 230 30 4
5113 I'm just playing it how LaMotta would have played it if he had altered Bach's version. 1.1439 0.02320 271 235 33 3
5114 Tommasini said one hand dominated too much, but I forgot which one. 1.1439 0.02320 271 235 33 3
5115 I will now play the theme song from the movie - Rocky. 1.1439 0.02503 278 245 26 7
5116 I guess we know what happened to Rocky after the fight 1.1439 0.02554 278 246 24 8
5117 Please excuse my playing, but I've recently been declawed. 1.1439 0.02451 278 244 28 6
5118 Down for the count! 1.1439 0.02361 285 249 31 5
5119 Der Ring des Nibelungen" by Wagne 1.1438 0.02274 292 254 34 4
5120 This piano just came out of a box. 1.1438 0.02243 299 260 35 4
5121 He's really known for his voice. The piano is just a prop. 1.1438 0.02243 299 260 35 4
5122 I signed up for tuxedo boxing, does this piano have anything to do with it? 1.1438 0.02260 306 267 34 5
5123 Tonight I will differentiate beat from beat 1.1438 0.02212 306 266 36 4
5124 It's suppose to sound better with the new rap music. 1.1438 0.02212 306 266 36 4
5125 I need these, I'm playing the "Rocky" theme song! 1.1438 0.02260 306 267 34 5
5126 The texture is actually quite nice. 1.1434 0.02466 265 232 28 5
5127 My next piece was written by Bach when he was training for the Golden Gloves. 1.1434 0.02427 272 238 29 5
5128 He plays the most amazing glove songs! 1.1434 0.02442 279 245 28 6
5129 I'm the typecast for 'Rocky' not 'Liberace'. 1.1434 0.02353 286 250 31 5
5130 I think it's safe to assume I've been knocked out. 1.1434 0.02246 286 248 35 3
5131 LIGHTS, please! 1.1434 0.02353 286 250 31 5
5132 I call this composition 'Sweet Chin Music volume IV' 1.1433 0.02318 293 256 32 5
5133 I bet Saul Bellow could never do this." 1.1433 0.02465 293 259 26 8
5134 I can do it by instinct 1.1433 0.02162 293 253 38 2
5135 I will now play my own composition called 'Rocky Roll.' 1.1433 0.02081 300 258 41 1
5136 A-major fight ends in defeat. 1.1429 0.02279 252 217 34 1
5137 When George heard "break a leg," he took matters into his own hands. 1.1429 0.02345 287 251 31 5
5138 Chopsticks? Afraid not. A knife and fork please 1.1429 0.02170 315 274 37 4
5139 C'mon people! Let's pump it up! 1.1429 0.02271 280 243 34 3
5140 Swinging tune, Mac. Ease up on the keys. 1.1429 0.02570 266 235 24 7
5141 This next little number, ‘A Bloody Pulp,’ I wrote bare knuckle. 1.1429 0.02434 280 246 28 6
5142 Hey, it’s Rachmaninov! 1.1429 0.02438 259 226 29 4
5143 He’s a man of many talents. Beating up pianos is just one of them. 1.1429 0.02345 287 251 31 5
5144 I should like to play my randition of The WilliamTell Overture 1.1429 0.02418 273 239 29 5
5145 This sonata 1-2-3b-2's movement is a knockout 1.1429 0.02075 315 272 41 2
5146 Uhhh...You don’t need boxing gloves to perform the Mephisto Waltz! 1.1429 0.02208 294 255 36 3
5147 I know it looks odd, but just wait for the sound! 1.1429 0.02438 259 226 29 4
5148 This song goes out to my piano teacher, Miss Lydia Prunkett, who taught me that I can play the piano, even with boxing gloves on. 1.1429 0.02293 287 250 33 4
5149 Pound them keys is what I say. 1.1429 0.02376 259 225 31 3
5150 Ready for the soundtrack for "Boxing Helena." 1.1424 0.02109 330 287 39 4
5151 Yo, Simon, it ain't over till it's over. 1.1424 0.02192 309 269 36 4
5152 I'm just going to assume I'm not hosting the boxing championship. 1.1424 0.02253 295 257 34 4
5153 Desperate one hit wonder tries again.... 1.1424 0.02201 295 256 36 3
5154 I can't even do "Chopsticks" like this. 1.1424 0.02148 295 255 38 2
5155 Ruckus, please. 1.1424 0.02285 288 251 33 4
5156 I apologize in advance. Blame my poison ivy. 1.1423 0.02206 281 243 36 2
5157 And now my talent offering in this year's WBA welterweight competition 1.1423 0.02478 281 248 26 7
5158 He is incomparable at recognizing its percussive potential. Hilary A. Kaplan Silver Spring, Maryland 1.1423 0.02296 274 238 33 3
5159 I'm not supposed to punch the keys BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I'M A BOXER >:( 1.1420 0.02248 317 278 33 6
5160 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, "The Eye of the Tiger." 1.1419 0.02137 310 269 38 3
5161 This next piece is Marcatissimo Maximus. 1.1419 0.02346 296 260 30 6
5162 I just punch, the lid falls BINGO ! CANON SHOT 1.1419 0.02381 289 254 29 6
5163 There's poop in here! 1.1418 0.02618 282 252 20 10
5164 I used to be able to tickle the ivories real nice. 1.1418 0.02402 275 241 29 5
5165 Next I’ll play my fight song. I call it my take back my life song. 1.1418 0.02562 275 244 23 8
5166 I will now play “Kidney Chopsticks.” 1.1414 0.02289 297 260 32 5
5167 The key to being a musician is to glove your work. 1.1414 0.02270 290 253 33 4
5168 It is the only way I can play The Polooka Polka! 1.1413 0.02448 276 243 27 6
5169 But it’s not wearing a mouth guard. 1.1413 0.02338 276 241 31 4
5170 I call this piece, Giving My Fingers a Rest, and I hope you all will enjoy this. 1.1413 0.02315 269 234 32 3
5171 So you want to hear "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.1413 0.02374 269 235 30 4
5172 ---AND FOR MY NEXT PIECE "THE THUNDERER------" 1.1411 0.02493 248 217 27 4
5173 I play only chopsticks and you will like it 1.1410 0.02297 305 268 31 6
5174 Good evening. My name is Robert Schumanny Pacquiao. 1.1409 0.02180 298 259 36 3
5175 I was not prepared for this kind of duel. 1.1409 0.02263 291 254 33 4
5176 This ISN’T for the Punch and Judy reboot? 1.1409 0.02210 291 253 35 3
5177 The next piece is by Dave Brubeck. 1.1409 0.02315 291 255 31 5
5178 Dooby-dooby-doo... 1.1408 0.02330 277 242 31 4
5179 Dueling Pianos Competition 1.1406 0.02379 256 223 30 3
5180 Now for the newly discovered Rach 5! 1.1406 0.02313 256 222 32 2
5181 "Well, it worked for the Keyboard Cat. 1.1406 0.02565 256 226 24 6
5182 Let's get ready to huuuummble. 1.1406 0.02213 313 274 34 5
5183 Believe it or not, I can still play 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star! 1.1405 0.02174 299 260 36 3
5184 And now, my rendition of the new uncomplicated classical beat 1.1404 0.02288 285 249 32 4
5185 And now for my next bout -- I mean Beethoven Sonata. 1.1404 0.02178 285 247 36 2
5186 My next piece will be a tribute to Erroll Garner 1.1402 0.02299 271 236 32 3
5187 Some of you might not know that as of last midnight the tenets of Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergerson" became law. Therefore, in place of Beethoven's sonata number thirty I present "Chopsticks." 1.1402 0.02454 264 232 27 5
5188 And they said I didn't stand a puncher's chance of playing Carnegie Hall. 1.1400 0.02115 300 260 38 2
5189 the title is Cached Fingering 1.1400 0.02268 300 263 32 5
5190 I've never heard 'Eye of the Tiger' performed with such grace before! 1.1399 0.02142 293 254 37 2
5191 Um, I don't think this is how you play "chin music"! 1.1399 0.02350 293 258 29 6
5192 I'm the accompanist for the Punch Brothers. 1.1399 0.02400 293 259 27 7
5193 Hey, put your Vernon Dukes up! 1.1399 0.02171 286 248 36 2
5194 It's a knockout. If looks could kill, they probably will 1.1399 0.02334 286 251 30 5
5195 You mean starring in ROCKY wasn't enough??? 1.1398 0.02423 279 246 27 6
5196 I don't know how to sting like a bee, but I do know Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1398 0.02314 279 244 31 4
5197 Bobby Short was never asked to play with these, was he? 1.1395 0.02309 301 265 30 6
5198 For my first trick... 1.1395 0.02135 294 255 37 2
5199 Round 6, Round 6! 1.1395 0.02189 294 256 35 3
5200 This is going to be a real page turner. 1.1394 0.02591 251 222 23 6
5201 This is just my hobby. I made my name by getting in the ring without gloves. 1.1394 0.02219 287 250 34 3
5202 These heated keyboards make simple ditties quite challenging. 1.1394 0.02164 287 249 36 2
5203 My next piece is entitled "Ode to Cross-Training" 1.1393 0.02251 280 244 33 3
5204 Boxing Beethoven! You all ready for this? 1.1393 0.02362 280 246 29 5
5205 These are fighting musical notes 1.1392 0.02341 273 239 30 4
5206 Lullaby of Broadway requires me to play with kid gloves 1.1392 0.02454 273 241 26 6
5207 Classic keyboard boxer 1.1392 0.02454 273 241 26 6
5208 No hands! Pitch Perfect! 1.1391 0.02378 266 233 29 4
5209 Hell no, man. 1.1391 0.02437 266 234 27 5
5210 This movement’s nickname is The Knockout 1.1391 0.02154 302 263 36 3
5211 Jim specialises in all sorts of movements - 5th movements, head movements etc... 1.1391 0.02204 302 264 34 4
5212 Duel talents?"But,I sing with this one" 1.1390 0.02182 295 257 35 3
5213 they said be unique ya think this is easy? 1.1389 0.02157 288 250 36 2
5214 And now we’d like to play Mike Tyson’s piano concerto in E#, also known as “Fingers? Who needs fingers?” 1.1388 0.02299 281 246 31 4
5215 Heavy-handed? No punch? 1.1388 0.02127 281 243 37 1
5216 We don’t have Boxing Day in America, but I’m sure I can find the right beat. 1.1388 0.02354 281 247 29 5
5217 And, now, Tyson's Etude Op.10 No. 3 - B-Flat Major. 1.1387 0.02216 310 272 33 5
5218 And now. The Levine variations by Cardi B. 1.1387 0.02275 274 239 32 3
5219 I channel Ali: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.1386 0.02246 303 266 32 5
5220 How exactly is this supposed to help me win coach? 1.1386 0.02295 303 267 30 6
5221 Recently “chopped” on the food network, he moved on to his next artistic endeavor. 1.1386 0.02295 303 267 30 6
5222 For mohammed Ali,Sting like a bee and float like a butterfly 1.1386 0.02428 267 235 27 5
5223 Hey Joan can we wrap up the show I got noses and keys to break 1.1385 0.02175 296 258 35 3
5224 Play Punch Rock! 1.1385 0.02278 296 260 31 5
5225 What the! This is NOT what I wished for! I asked to be a key member of the board! 1.1384 0.02511 289 258 22 9
5226 And now, "The Minute Atonal Crash-Bang." 1.1384 0.02363 289 255 28 6
5227 I call this next piece, 'Me Versus Pianola Roll.' 1.1384 0.02205 289 252 34 3
5228 Sure it fits me like a glove but the uppercut technique is not working for D#. 1.1384 0.02225 318 280 32 6
5229 boxing glove: "unhand me, you fool! " 1.1382 0.02420 246 215 28 3
5230 In honor of the tenth anniversary of the Piano Fight Club, I shall play the theme from Rocky in the Italian classical tradition. 1.1382 0.02268 275 240 32 3
5231 Well, ham isn't kosher. 1.1382 0.02382 275 242 28 5
5232 Simon and Garfunkel require this if you cover the song... 1.1382 0.02036 304 263 40 1
5233 Boxing Day? Heck, I say boxing play. 1.1381 0.02361 268 235 29 4
5234 The pitch might sound a bit rocky, as I play wearing these gloves. 1.1379 0.02355 290 256 28 6
5235 I heard Mike Tyson was coming to watch his nephew perform at the piano recital, so I had to impress. 1.1379 0.02272 261 227 32 2
5236 What people don't realize is that the gloves have made it more likely that pianists get injured. 1.1379 0.02198 290 253 34 3
5237 This tune is in gratitude to the bouncer who is so great with his hands. 1.1378 0.02338 283 249 29 5
5238 Perhaps I should use my head instead. 1.1377 0.02184 305 267 34 4
5239 I'ts a tune up fight. 1.1377 0.02184 305 267 34 4
5240 Doctors orders I'm afraid. Bad case of Onychophagia. 1.1377 0.02482 276 245 24 7
5241 Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together for Mr. Piano Man! 1.1377 0.02429 276 244 26 6
5242 I knew I should have stuck with trombone. 1.1375 0.02524 269 239 23 7
5243 Can’t I just use the electronic keyboard to mute the sound? 1.1374 0.02450 262 231 26 5
5244 I just finished my warm up 1.1373 0.02330 284 250 29 5
5245 In keeping with the spirit of the times, I will now play Bach the way Mafia Don governs. 1.1373 0.02330 284 250 29 5
5246 They asked me to tinkle the ivories 1.1373 0.02127 306 267 36 3
5247 In fact, sir, I trained at Fleety Floyd's Gym. 1.1370 0.02129 292 254 36 2
5248 I'd like to play for you, but I just washed my hands. 1.1369 0.02441 263 232 26 5
5249 I call this next piece 'Going HAM.' 1.1369 0.02441 263 232 26 5
5250 I only play Bach's pieces 1.1369 0.02191 263 228 34 1
5251 Chopsticks? Are we eating Chinese? 1.1368 0.02170 307 269 34 4
5252 And now, for the latest by John Cage. It's not a ""Cheap "Imitation". 1.1367 0.02358 278 245 28 5
5253 And, now, I'd like to play for you the Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana , by Pietro Mascagni. 1.1367 0.02412 278 246 26 6
5254 Flight" of the bumblebee? Nevermin 1.1367 0.02358 278 245 28 5
5255 I shall now play, ‘Duke it Out’! 1.1365 0.02282 293 258 30 5
5256 Hey Dad this is my dream! 1.1364 0.02261 286 251 31 4
5257 Before tonight, Peter had only played Symphony No. 5 in bars and small rock clubs. 1.1364 0.02373 264 232 28 4
5258 The classic piano music box at your service, sir? 1.1362 0.02243 301 265 31 5
5259 I'm from Julliard, doing my practicum on Heckler Control. 1.1362 0.02404 279 247 26 6
5260 Gloves off for this dueling piano fight, please. 1.1362 0.02294 279 245 30 4
5261 I'm a classical fighter, not a lover. 1.1362 0.02350 279 246 28 5
5262 We aren't fighting the conchords after the show? 1.1362 0.02457 279 248 24 7
5263 I shall now type a letter to Terpsichore. 1.1360 0.02329 272 239 29 4
5264 This song is called “Puncher.” 1.1360 0.02329 272 239 29 4
5265 And now ladies and gentlemen, Sugar Ray Stravinky's "Knocked Coal Digger," in A Flat Miner. 1.1360 0.02386 272 240 27 5
5266 ...and now, winner by unanimous decision, I will play your request. 1.1360 0.02209 272 237 33 2
5267 Bah! To think they criticized my last concerto for lacking that signature punch - preposterous. 1.1359 0.02143 287 250 35 2
5268 ‘Occhio di Tigre’ by Sopravvissuto. 1.1359 0.02254 287 252 31 4
5269 This isn't right, Mr. Jordan. 1.1357 0.02230 280 245 32 3
5270 What is everyone’s appetite for a black and blue concerto? 1.1357 0.02112 280 243 36 1
5271 Just Refined Enough 1.1357 0.02342 280 247 28 5
5272 Boxer on the keys 1.1355 0.02378 273 241 27 5
5273 And if I hear any snorin' out there I'll play chopsticks with your head. 1.1355 0.02292 310 275 28 7
5274 Everyone, if you would kindly look under your seats, I've seemed to have misplaced my hands. 1.1354 0.02247 288 253 31 4
5275 Oh my!!!! Where do I begin. From right to my left or left to my right. 1.1354 0.02192 288 252 33 3
5276 Liszt was out of the question, but, ohhh, Christmas Chopsticks! 1.1353 0.02229 303 267 31 5
5277 It ain't never gonna stop 'cause You can't fight the feeling 1.1353 0.02179 303 266 33 4
5278 Tea, a drink with jam and bread... That will bring us back to Boom-Boom, Pow-Pow 1.1352 0.02388 281 249 26 6
5279 And to those critics who said I couldn't beat the Rach 2-- watch. 1.1352 0.02117 318 279 35 4
5280 And now..”Eye of the Tiger Symphony No. 12” by Beat-hoven 1.1348 0.02380 282 250 26 6
5281 It's so declasse to do this with naked hands! 1.1347 0.02202 297 261 32 4
5282 For my next number, I'll be playing "Brontosaurus On the Keys". 1.1345 0.02305 275 242 29 4
5283 And now for a Bach Suite 1.1345 0.02285 290 256 29 5
5284 Dear, my fingers don't hurt any more! 1.1344 0.02357 305 272 25 8
5285 They appear to have shrunken in the washer. 1.1344 0.02166 305 268 33 4
5286 I wish my brother George Foreman was here." 1.1343 0.02372 283 251 26 6
5287 And now for the grand finale, Boxing Boogie Woogie. 1.1342 0.02246 298 263 30 5
5288 I'll play 'row, row your boat once', as my trainer warned I might be KO'd after the first round. 1.1341 0.02248 261 228 31 2
5289 I don't need these to play my College Fight Song. 1.1341 0.02353 276 244 27 5
5290 I have a boxing match at 6:00 but a recital at 5:30. 1.1338 0.02311 284 251 28 5
5291 You said play with your left hand? I thought you said play with your left hook! 1.1336 0.02428 262 232 25 5
5292 This boxing-piono match really shows off both of my talents! 1.1336 0.02401 277 246 25 6
5293 Chopin and I will not be pleased if maestro's tempo is too slow this evening. 1.1336 0.02052 292 254 37 1
5294 You shall know me as Hasim Rachmaninoff 1.1336 0.02218 292 257 31 4
5295 Keep your hands up! 1.1336 0.02218 292 257 31 4
5296 And now, my impression of Lang Lang. 1.1331 0.02392 278 247 25 6
5297 It's an eh tu Brute in punch-drunk manner. 1.1331 0.02224 278 244 31 3
5298 Please don't laugh, this is the only way to play lil Xan on piano. 1.1331 0.02420 263 233 25 5
5299 Beathoven piano concerto no 5 1.1329 0.02123 301 264 34 3
5300 I,m just wearing these to keep my hands warm. Elizabeth Shaw San Francisco, Calif. 1.1329 0.02070 301 263 36 2
5301 This is where John Garfield and I diverge. 1.1329 0.02129 286 250 34 2
5302 They call me the rope-a-dope ivory tickler. 1.1327 0.02204 294 259 31 4
5303 I think you're punching above your weight, Steve. 1.1326 0.02274 279 246 29 4
5304 The guy at the store said these go loves would knock you out! 1.1326 0.02330 279 247 27 5
5305 Could somebody please turn down the air conditioning? 1.1325 0.02218 302 267 30 5
5306 now, i understand how ridiculous this may look! however, this piano is - against all odds - the heavyweight champion of the world, and i have had to enact both a cinematic heist and a personal revelation in order to find myself on this stage today! 1.1324 0.02288 287 254 28 5
5307 umm..k...then...o 1.1324 0.02288 287 254 28 5
5308 Ladies and gentlemen, Let’s hear it for the boxin love chords! 1.1324 0.02307 272 240 28 4
5309 Ladies and gentlemen please welcome George! George is an excellent multitasker — effortlessly defending his title in the ring, he also tickles the ivory AND simultaneously accomplishes advanced pivot tables in Microsoft Excel. Give it up for George! 1.1321 0.02209 280 246 31 3
5310 The Reprise Fighter 1.1320 0.02161 303 267 32 4
5311 Try fisticuffs on chopsticks. 1.1319 0.02227 288 254 30 4
5312 I'm not a fan of, Chopsticks. 1.1319 0.02179 273 239 32 2
5313 What about the pianissimo parts? 1.1317 0.02201 281 247 31 3
5314 My next piece is titled "Politically Incorrect" 1.1317 0.02368 281 250 25 6
5315 Do I have to do your job, too? 1.1316 0.02253 304 270 28 6
5316 Next, I will play Beethoven - 'Moonlight' Sonata in a new C Stick and Move." 1.1316 0.02103 304 267 34 3
5317 Another day at the office... 1.1316 0.02209 266 233 31 2
5318 hmmmm, 1.1314 0.02405 274 244 24 6
5319 Mind if I play with my mitts on? 1.1313 0.02284 297 264 27 6
5320 A.J. Liebling taught me everything I know. 1.1312 0.02194 282 248 31 3
5321 Breaking News— Rocky Balboa attempts the piano!!!” 1.1312 0.02194 282 248 31 3
5322 For your holiday enjoyment, we'll be singing 'Jingle Bells 1.1312 0.02194 282 248 31 3
5323 Tonight I'm going to play Chopin. 1.1312 0.02251 282 249 29 4
5324 Sergio is obsessed with Victor Borge. 1.1312 0.02194 282 248 31 3
5325 Good, but your playing needs a different attack. 1.1312 0.02360 282 251 25 6
5326 Stella. Estella? 1.1310 0.02341 252 222 27 3
5327 Fly like a bumblebee 1.1309 0.02283 275 243 28 4
5328 The last time I attempted Franz Liszt's Campanella I injured my hands therefore my Dr. insists I wear these. 1.1309 0.02123 298 262 33 3
5329 Ali's Flur de Punch in A minor. 1.1307 0.02243 283 250 29 4
5330 I was afraid there'd be a boxing kangaroo in the audience tonight. 1.1306 0.02258 291 258 28 5
5331 Aren’t there already too many YouTube videos with this gimmick?! 1.1306 0.02095 291 255 34 2
5332 Now we shall box the piano. 1.1306 0.02151 291 256 32 3
5333 Punch punch punch puuuunch. 1.1304 0.02588 253 227 19 7
5334 And now I play for you... ‘An ode to boxing.’ 1.1304 0.02169 299 264 31 4
5335 I call this 'The Sweet Science Sonata.' 1.1303 0.02236 284 251 29 4
5336 Aren't we playing the first movement from the Pugulist Concerto in Bb? 1.1303 0.02236 284 251 29 4
5337 This next piece helps me touch some tender feelings... 1.1301 0.02198 292 258 30 4
5338 This movement is titled "Scontro non troppo." 1.1301 0.02144 292 257 32 3
5339 I am boxing it up 1.1300 0.02213 300 266 29 5
5340 Now they tell me that the only words I could make out in their garbled voicemail were actually 'Bach sing loves.' 1.1300 0.02312 300 268 25 7
5341 As an encore, I"m going to play my Boxing Concerto. 1.1300 0.02268 277 245 28 4
5342 I tried tying strings around my fingers to remember the punch lines. 1.1300 0.02325 277 246 26 5
5343 I call it "The Upright Uppercut" 1.1300 0.02149 277 243 32 2
5344 Concerto for boxing bouts 1.1300 0.02149 277 243 32 2
5345 My next tunes for my Mommy, for letting me borrow her gloves 1.1298 0.02228 285 252 29 4
5346 In the next piano duo, I will be performing the Kangaroo Hop with the bloke from Down Under. 1.1297 0.02346 293 262 24 7
5347 No encore tonight. 1.1297 0.02191 293 259 30 4
5348 You lied to me! 1.1296 0.02241 270 238 29 3
5349 He packs a punch on the b-minor chord! 1.1296 0.02360 270 240 25 5
5350 And now for the Israeli national anthem... 1.1296 0.02206 301 267 29 5
5351 Where's the Ring Girl? 1.1296 0.02206 301 267 29 5
5352 I call this "What's Black and White and Red all Over. 1.1294 0.02071 309 272 34 3
5353 Muhammad Off-key 1.1294 0.02108 286 251 33 2
5354 I’m going to play this way, believe it or not. 1.1294 0.02276 286 254 27 5
5355 And now, thumping keys by my boy Elroy. If you don’t like it please cross that line on the stage. 1.1294 0.02276 286 254 27 5
5356 Did Golden Boy survive? 1.1293 0.02075 294 258 34 2
5357 And next, "Flight of the Albatross" 1.1291 0.02199 302 268 29 5
5358 A standing 8 count please! A standing 8 count!! A one, a two, a onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight: Boom! Yeeeeah!! 1.1290 0.02065 310 273 34 3
5359 You better be prepared for a fight, if you play Christmas music! 1.1290 0.02253 279 247 28 4
5360 And Muhammad Off-Key is on the piano. 1.1290 0.02309 279 248 26 5
5361 For my final ringside number I would like to play one of Bach's Sonatas. 1.1288 0.02123 295 260 32 3
5362 Yes, I’m exercising! 1.1288 0.02280 295 263 26 6
5363 ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, i regret to inform you that the men’s bathroom is closed. 1.1287 0.02285 272 241 27 4
5364 I'm the best. I just haven't played yet. 1.1285 0.02035 288 252 35 1
5365 The next selection is "The Hypochondriac's Concerto" 1.1284 0.02299 257 227 27 3
5366 I just had a manicure.So, bear with me, or I'll punch you out. 1.1282 0.02277 273 242 27 4
5367 My closing piece: "Unanimous Ten" 1.1282 0.02277 273 242 27 4
5368 You didn't say 'delicate hands for a delicate task'?" - David Steenburg, Washington, D 1.1281 0.02180 281 248 30 3
5369 This punch line is a trifle too black and white for my liking. 1.1281 0.02380 242 214 25 3
5370 Hamfisted ? Hell no! -- These are my Piano-training Gloves! 1.1279 0.02215 297 264 28 5
5371 When you said “ punish the counter” ...? 1.1279 0.02077 305 269 33 3
5372 And now Hayden’s symphony 12. The Boxing Symphony 1.1278 0.02372 266 237 24 5
5373 And now, Mozart's Opus No. 1, The Enfant Concerto 1.1277 0.02173 282 249 30 3
5374 If Keith Emmerson could stab his Hammond organ with a knife, why can't I ... 1.1277 0.02230 282 250 28 4
5375 ooh, maybe you better turn up the heat instead. 1.1276 0.02192 290 257 29 4
5376 You wanna fight me on this piano bro!? 1.1275 0.02208 298 265 28 5
5377 And now from my new rap concherto 1.1275 0.02259 298 266 26 6
5378 and now Cauliflower Ears', JuNgLe In ThE rUmBlE 1.1275 0.02122 306 271 31 4
5379 Now please enjoy several selections from my new album. 1.1273 0.02363 267 238 24 5
5380 Beethoven again? 1.1273 0.02363 267 238 24 5
5381 Eb-o-ny and i-vo-ry, From Stallone. For his herd's men-ta-li-ty... 1.1271 0.02239 291 259 27 5
5382 I don't remember seeing this in Whiplash! 1.1271 0.02239 291 259 27 5
5383 He punches below his weight. 1.1271 0.02252 299 267 26 6
5384 Please forgive any inelegance, the repertoire always suffers a bit on December 26th 1.1271 0.02301 299 268 24 7
5385 And now a new original work for our time, 'Pizza Chord.' 1.1270 0.02083 315 279 32 4
5386 And now for my final selection: Rollin, Rolling, Rolling! 1.1269 0.02170 268 236 30 2
5387 They told me to break a leg! 1.1269 0.02233 268 237 28 3
5388 One Note!@ 1.1268 0.02195 276 244 29 3
5389 Once I Ko'ed Ali . 1.1268 0.02215 284 252 28 4
5390 And now, Mozart's Piano Concerto N. 23 in A. 1.1268 0.02325 284 254 24 6
5391 Sir, kindly take your mitts off me. 1.1268 0.02215 284 252 28 4
5392 Boxing the keys, Bobby Shorter style: 1.1268 0.02158 284 251 30 3
5393 Gimme that old soft shoe. 1.1267 0.02009 292 256 35 1
5394 m now going to play a Chopin mazurka 1.1267 0.02123 292 258 31 3
5395 Do you prefer my rendition of Mozart with a left hook or right cross? 1.1267 0.02284 292 261 25 6
5396 Pinching hazard. 1.1267 0.02178 292 259 29 4
5397 My next selection is called ‘Gonna Fly Now’ by the great Bill Conti. 1.1267 0.01981 300 263 36 1
5398 My next opus is entitled "CT in E minor" 1.1266 0.02058 308 272 33 3
5399 They protect me from the threats I have received--sinister forces plan to close the keylid on my precious fingers. Now, enjoy my outstanding play. 1.1265 0.02092 324 288 31 5
5400 Excuse the gloves. I’ve had a falling out with my Fairy Godmother. 1.1264 0.02287 269 239 26 4
5401 I’ve got a bad neck rash that I need to scratch. With a collar cone I couldn’t see the keys, but at least with these gloves I can. 1.1264 0.02360 277 248 23 6
5402 My next piece comes right out of the box. 1.1264 0.02127 277 244 31 2
5403 Savate Concerto 1.1263 0.02061 293 258 33 2
5404 Yes, I've taken some tough knocks, but maybe I can hit the world stage this way. 1.1263 0.02061 293 258 33 2
5405 In lieu of the Squeeze Box, I will now play the Piano Box. 1.1262 0.01974 301 264 36 1
5406 When I pound the black and whites, the harmony is incredible. 1.1262 0.02136 301 267 30 4
5407 My next # is "Waltz around the Ring" composed solely to be played with boxing gloves. 1.1262 0.01947 309 271 37 1
5408 I call it Pieces of Eight, of course. 1.1259 0.02155 270 238 30 2
5409 I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network 1.1259 0.02180 278 246 29 3
5410 my record is 0 and 111 losses, however my nest opponent J.S. Bach only has a simple tocata and fugue in d minor played lively with ppp dynamics 1.1259 0.02086 286 252 32 2
5411 As a former Boy Scout, I am compelled to be a prepared pianist. 1.1259 0.02144 286 253 30 3
5412 So it's playing piano first and then the boxing. 1.1255 0.02404 247 220 23 4
5413 Now I will play Bachoxing piano concerto No. 3 1.1255 0.02388 271 243 22 6
5414 They told me to learn some monophonic pieces. 1.1254 0.02173 279 247 29 3
5415 for my next number i shall play "punch" 1.1254 0.02137 287 254 30 3
5416 Next I put the top down, take my gloves off, tie my dance shoes on and dance my favorite song. 1.1254 0.02248 287 256 26 5
5417 We'd like to welcome Rocky, here in the front row. 1.1254 0.02017 303 267 34 2
5418 They told Johnny he was a one hit wonder . Look at him now ! 1.1250 0.02202 272 241 28 3
5419 And now, here’s Wonderwall. 1.1250 0.02263 272 242 26 4
5420 Rachmaninoff? I don't Think so. 1.1250 0.02241 288 257 26 5
5421 This is the Winner By Knockout sonata for piano four hands. 1.1250 0.02305 264 235 25 4
5422 You promised me I'd have a corner man and a trainer. 1.1250 0.02064 304 269 32 3
5423 klsfjsd 1.1246 0.02394 297 269 19 9
5424 Has anyone seen my shadow? 1.1246 0.02007 289 254 34 1
5425 I'm committed to the lower register. 1.1246 0.02273 281 251 25 5
5426 How about some K.O. Key? 1.1245 0.02132 273 241 30 2
5427 Hope it's not Prokofiev's 1st or 3rd? 1.1245 0.02255 273 243 26 4
5428 This is no pianola. 1.1242 0.01944 306 269 36 1
5429 I will now play "Fanfare for a Triamphant Presidential Knockout of a Democratic Congress. 1.1241 0.02419 274 247 20 7
5430 Next number is "Boxer's delight" 1.1241 0.02125 274 242 30 2
5431 And now here’s “Revolution #9.” 1.1238 0.02196 307 275 26 6
5432 He catches a glimpse in a mirror as he prepares to perform a Leonard Bernstein piece that requires special instrumentation. 1.1237 0.02077 299 265 31 3
5433 Is there a sports doctor in the house? 1.1237 0.02323 291 262 22 7
5434 Just another key puncher, in the slog of life... 1.1237 0.02201 283 252 27 4
5435 And for my next piece, I like to place a tune by Simon & Garfunkel 1.1237 0.02257 283 253 25 5
5436 No one expected the spelling bee's elimination round to be like this. 1.1234 0.02059 316 281 31 4
5437 Best technique to compose a fine lullaby. 1.1233 0.02264 292 262 24 6
5438 You should see Cody, the other guy. 1.1232 0.02136 284 252 29 3
5439 And now as my Al Jolson tribute continues, I'd like to play AlaBAMy Bound. 1.1232 0.02136 284 252 29 3
5440 A singer is not going to be a good boxer without knowing piano. 1.1232 0.02305 284 255 23 6
5441 Yo Mick, can I go back to chasing the chicken? 1.1232 0.02172 276 245 28 3
5442 Clearly, I am the most superb. 1.1232 0.02232 276 246 26 4
5443 I wear these to beat my meat. 1.1232 0.02290 276 247 24 5
5444 My next selection is by a well known 21st century composer. 1.1231 0.02210 268 238 27 3
5445 There's a rhythm in the ring of the keyboard... 1.1230 0.02291 252 224 25 3
5446 If you loved "Mrs. Robinson", Art tells me this song from our latest album "Bridge Over Troubled Water" will knock you out. 1.1228 0.02071 285 252 31 2
5447 I'd like to take this opportunity to remind all of the fine people gathered here tonight, that there's plenty of folks out there who still say that no black man could ever play Liszt. 1.1227 0.02224 277 247 26 4
5448 Maestro, I'm ready. Bring on the concerto! 1.1225 0.02003 302 267 33 2
5449 But this piano goes below the belt. 1.1222 0.02130 270 239 29 2
5450 I once thought there were no second acts in American lives. 1.1220 0.02115 287 255 29 3
5451 I shall now attempt Mozart's Sonata No.16 in C major. 1.1219 0.02323 279 251 22 6
5452 Chopin's etude Butterfly, plink a minor key. 1.1219 0.02267 279 250 24 5
5453 Don't break a leg! 1.1219 0.02209 279 249 26 4
5454 My town. Round ten? 1.1216 0.02076 296 263 30 3
5455 I like to feel the beat through the piano. 1.1216 0.01904 329 291 36 2
5456 Float like a butterfly, sing like a Beatle. 1.1216 0.02332 255 228 23 4
5457 Can you play ‘Love Is A Battlefield ‘??!! 1.1214 0.02082 280 248 30 2
5458 My next song is “Gonna Fly Now”. 1.1213 0.02141 305 273 27 5
5459 Do I look sharp with these gloves? 1.1212 0.02176 297 266 26 5
5460 And now for your musical enjoyment..Boxer Rapsody Susan Elwood Monterey Calicornia 1.1212 0.02013 297 263 32 2
5461 let me box to this beat 1.1212 0.02228 297 267 24 6
5462 Gonna pound these keys like I pound my dick! 1.1212 0.02521 264 240 16 8
5463 This is one of the greatest works of Bach's. 1.1211 0.02102 289 257 29 3
5464 Nah, Anything but chopsticks! 1.1211 0.02158 289 258 27 4
5465 I thought we were playing the Notre Dame fight song next 1.1211 0.02257 256 228 25 3
5466 Piano concerto in b minor. Boom Boom Bang Bang. 1.1208 0.02007 298 264 32 2
5467 Time out, foul, breaking rhythm, loss of one point. 1.1206 0.02248 257 229 25 3
5468 And now for the opening notes of “Night and Day” by Cole Porter. 1.1206 0.02129 282 251 28 3
5469 Playing the piano on 'hard' mode 1.1206 0.02299 282 254 22 6
5470 No, I'm hardly a kitten on the keys! 1.1204 0.02101 274 243 29 2
5471 I call this one 'The Sweet Music of the Sweet Science.' 1.1204 0.02056 299 266 30 3
5472 You listining to D magore engery 1.1204 0.02058 324 290 29 5
5473 My drums was stolen 1.1203 0.02144 291 260 27 4
5474 Rejoice-- I was able to get this concert on Pay TV. 1.1203 0.02088 291 259 29 3
5475 This is Princeton, right? 1.1203 0.02144 291 260 27 4
5476 Next, I’ll be playing Bach’s “In G Minor” 1.1203 0.02088 291 259 29 3
5477 We are not the UFC - we have class! 1.1202 0.02172 258 229 27 2
5478 We will, we wi[[ box you" Deda Jacobse 1.1201 0.02346 283 256 20 7
5479 And, now, the Cannibal Corpse trio sonata. 1.1201 0.02171 308 277 25 6
5480 This piano has been shading me 1.1200 0.02103 300 268 28 4
5481 Everything started when I received a music box at Christmas 1.1199 0.02130 317 285 26 6
5482 And now a little composition of my own called "Etude for Washington, No. 535". 1.1197 0.02172 284 254 26 4
5483 Sorry, but the piano has chickenpox. 1.1196 0.02149 301 270 26 5
5484 And now, a Paul Simon rhapsody. 1.1196 0.01988 301 267 32 2
5485 Gwyneth said no porcelain. 1.1194 0.02249 268 240 24 4
5486 And now, the Box Well-Tampered Clavier 1.1192 0.02416 260 235 19 6
5487 That's supposed to be Bach's prelude in C!! 1.1190 0.02120 252 223 28 1
5488 They call to the Jersey bounce, it’s the rythem that really counts! 1.1190 0.02361 269 243 20 6
5489 This is not the Thrilla in Manila 1.1190 0.02178 269 240 26 3
5490 I'm auditioning for the Punch Brothers' Christmas concert. 1.1189 0.02100 286 255 28 3
5491 How do you expect me to do two things at once? 1.1187 0.02134 278 248 27 3
5492 And to conclude tonight's performance: Beethoven's bowel movement. 1.1185 0.02151 287 257 26 4
5493 You never know when you may be attacked 1.1183 0.02187 279 250 25 4
5494 They had asked me to box-in the keys. 1.1180 0.01908 305 270 34 1
5495 My sinphony for appassionato. 1.1180 0.01955 322 287 32 3
5496 That was a real knockout! This next one will be a TKO... 1.1179 0.02180 280 251 25 4
5497 You think these gloves can stop me from playing my brilliance 1.1178 0.02103 297 266 27 4
5498 When 1.1176 0.02192 289 260 24 5
5499 But I thought he said I played as if...? 1.1176 0.01902 306 271 34 1
5500 I was told there would be a boxing match, but now I see that I am to play the piano. Random! 1.1173 0.01896 307 272 34 1
5501 Niles pretending to pound out a tune when the CD skipped. 1.1167 0.01973 300 267 31 2
5502 The ex-boxer had moved from the ring to the classical music stage. Although still limited in his piano playing, he has become highly regarded in the nearly lost art of round singing. Here he is shown preparing his audience to go the full 10. 1.1167 0.01973 300 267 31 2
5503 Good boxing is a piece of art 1.1167 0.02029 300 268 29 3
5504 I mastered this advanced technique by watching the Ali vs. Frazier 3 fight" 1.1166 0.02158 283 254 25 4
5505 1.1165 0.02364 266 241 19 6
5506 You hate my playing this much!?? 1.1164 0.02116 292 262 26 4
5507 'Am I loud enough to go through your hearing aid?' 1.1164 0.02194 275 247 24 4
5508 And now I give you Rondo No. 15 by my boxer. 1.1164 0.02070 275 245 28 2
5509 For my next piece, "Canon in CTE." 1.1163 0.01967 301 268 31 2
5510 I totally expect you to account for every song that vaguely fits. 1.1163 0.02410 258 234 18 6
5511 A famous rap artist told me to "knock it out the box", maestro! 1.1161 0.02103 267 238 27 2
5512 I shall now play Total Concerto for Radness and Coolness by Strong Bad. 1.1159 0.02187 276 248 24 4
5513 Looks like I accidentally wore my boxing gloves instead of my piano gloves 1.1159 0.02063 276 246 28 2
5514 I'm going to hit a grand slam with my grand piano. 1.1158 0.02025 285 254 29 2
5515 It's a new style. We call it Beethoven. 1.1153 0.02095 295 265 26 4
5516 I'm feeling boxed in and want greater freedom to develop my music. 1.1152 0.02088 269 240 27 2
5517 Its the challenge of playing Bela Bartko 1.1151 0.02172 278 250 24 4
5518 Aww crud, was I sleep walking again? 1.1151 0.02111 278 249 26 3
5519 That’s if one is falling on you. But up close and personal, take the gloves off. 1.1151 0.02049 278 248 28 2
5520 'Welcome to Chris Brown in the lounge.' 1.1150 0.02129 287 258 25 4
5521 Ali, was always my dream to play the Ivory keys.. 1.1149 0.01976 296 264 30 2
5522 OK, you guys go "dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah" and then I windmill and do some jabs we'll all feel hugely uplifted 1.1146 0.02233 288 261 21 6
5523 Chief of Staff? I'm not dressed for the occasion 1.1145 0.02182 262 235 24 3
5524 You might say “This looks like a sack race” and then you might say... “Yes, you can run a sack race, but why run a freakin’ sack race?” And I tell you “It’s all thumbs.” 1.1144 0.02262 271 245 21 5
5525 Oh, I'm so sorry. I just came from boxing practice. 1.1143 0.02157 280 252 24 4
5526 Three little kitten lost their mittens... 1.1143 0.02157 280 252 24 4
5527 Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass... 1.1143 0.02382 280 256 16 8
5528 Well it wasn't the first piano performance to put me to sleep 1.1143 0.02035 280 250 28 2
5529 No, Penn & Teller, not a piano roll 1.1142 0.01998 289 258 29 2
5530 Watch out for the hammer move! 1.1142 0.01937 289 257 31 1
5531 Fight, or Floght if the Bumblebee? 1.1142 0.02057 289 259 27 3
5532 I'm moving up in classical music. 1.1141 0.02174 263 236 24 3
5533 I'll start with twinkle twinkle little toes in the key of c 1.1140 0.02066 272 243 27 2
5534 Something about using the gloves to masturbate I dunno figure out your own caption. 1.1140 0.02255 272 246 21 5
5535 OK.. the odd's are even.. I can play Chopin VS Trump knew nothing... 1.1137 0.01957 299 267 30 2
5536 Three blind mice, three blind mice... 1.1136 0.02123 273 245 25 3
5537 For my last number, I need to play only a few keys and I need to protect myself from my OCD. 1.1133 0.02062 300 270 26 4
5538 This one was penned by Bundini Brown. 1.1133 0.02062 300 270 26 4
5539 And now I will play Islamey alla Bellicoso. 1.1133 0.02273 256 231 21 4
5540 It seems my manager's text message auto-corrected from 'plink those black keys' to 'punch those black eyes.' Apologies. 1.1132 0.01834 318 283 34 1
5541 Please welcome our next performance, "The Boxer's Treble" 1.1131 0.02076 283 254 26 3
5542 Chopped, not chops 1.1131 0.02014 283 253 28 2
5543 Trust me! This is neither an easy-to-set nor effective large rodent trap. 1.1131 0.02076 283 254 26 3
5544 AS A BOXER ,I AM TOTALLY UNSUITED FOR MUSIC 1.1130 0.02037 292 262 27 3
5545 Chop kicks, not chopsticks! 1.1128 0.02126 257 230 25 2
5546 Damn, caught red handed... 1.1127 0.01911 275 244 31 0
5547 Where do I punch 1.1127 0.02069 284 255 26 3
5548 This is my fight song No hands no feet song Just mouthing words song 1.1123 0.02101 276 248 25 3
5549 I will now play one of Dwane's great pieces. 1.1123 0.02062 285 256 26 3
5550 I'm so pleased to a part of this Day after Christmas Concert at Massey Hall. 1.1122 0.02081 294 265 25 4
5551 easy enough 1.1119 0.01867 286 254 32 0
5552 Liberace can really pound out some mean tunes!! 1.1119 0.01994 286 256 28 2
5553 I'm taking giant steps. 1.1115 0.02067 296 267 25 4
5554 you want me to shell the peanuts right now? 1.1115 0.01976 305 274 28 3
5555 I will now play, "D.E.A.D". 1.1111 0.02061 297 268 25 4
5556 Bam bam, ey, what a bam bam. 1.1111 0.02080 279 251 25 3
5557 I feel like such a dick 1.1111 0.02141 279 252 23 4
5558 You better like this, or else I will knock you out. 1.1107 0.01909 307 275 30 2
5559 I find it difficult to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee just now. 1.1107 0.02150 289 262 22 5
5560 This sonata has 12 movements. It's called "By Unanimous Decision" Javier Pescador, Ann Arbor, MI 1.1107 0.01913 289 258 30 1
5561 Oscar Bait 1.1107 0.02177 271 245 22 4
5562 By executive order, I present you a piano concerto in Me Mayor. 1.1107 0.02223 262 237 21 4
5563 His salary known work, this piece was composed by Handel at 6 months. 1.1103 0.02169 272 246 22 4
5564 And then I fought ... 1.1103 0.02169 272 246 22 4
5565 So if I think Beethoven's Minuet in G, I can play. 1.1102 0.02121 254 228 24 2
5566 And now for "The Flight of the Boom Boom Beegone"! 1.1100 0.01901 291 260 30 1
5567 I,m now going to play gloves get in the way 1.1099 0.01932 282 252 29 1
5568 Big decision: Pizza or chicken for dinner? 1.1096 0.02035 301 272 25 4
5569 It fifights me. I have no chouxe. 1.1096 0.02128 292 265 22 5
5570 I wasn’t sure what was scheduled tonight at MSG 1.1093 0.01940 311 280 28 3
5571 And now, I play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata 1.1093 0.01973 302 272 27 3
5572 Come out flat and get played like a fiddle 1.1091 0.02084 275 248 24 3
5573 Our next act is MMA sousaphone. 1.1091 0.02147 275 249 22 4
5574 Sorry, I just finished the boxing match. 1.1089 0.02238 257 233 20 4
5575 Oh, Henry Mancini!" (Please underline the word Henry. 1.1088 0.01977 285 256 27 2
5576 Joe could always set a beat down. Tonight, he was going to set a beat-down. 1.1087 0.02012 276 248 26 2
5577 This one is called "Rudolph the smash-nosed Reindeer." 1.1086 0.02118 267 241 23 3
5578 Psst! Hey! Wanna score some gluten? 1.1086 0.01961 304 274 27 3
5579 And now, a little something by John 1.1084 0.02091 286 259 23 4
5580 You've seen Golden Boy? Well, I just can't decide! 1.1082 0.01973 268 240 27 1
5581 There are many reasons why I am confused right now. Chiefly amount which is the question of where my seeing-eye bat is? 1.1082 0.02175 268 243 21 4
5582 Cluster time! 1.1082 0.02009 305 276 25 4
5583 Ushio Shinohara pivots into a musical career. 1.1078 0.02103 269 243 23 3
5584 the last number really did a number on me! 1.1077 0.01924 297 267 28 2
5585 The piano is my ring and the sheet music is my mouth guard. 1.1076 0.01894 288 258 29 1
5586 My next number is "A Rollin' and a Tumblin" 1.1075 0.01992 279 251 26 2
5587 I didn't mean to actually break a leg! 1.1074 0.02160 270 245 21 4
5588 Mum can I take the gloves off now so I can play piano? 1.1074 0.02160 270 245 21 4
5589 No this isn't a piano. I have a scale in here. 1.1073 0.02011 289 261 25 3
5590 I 'm the poster boy for Trump's new rhythmic safe sex and birth control plans. 1.1071 0.02110 280 254 22 4
5591 I will now perform my swinging ‘Larkin’ suite. 1.1068 0.01931 309 279 27 3
5592 My next number is Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now." 1.1068 0.01978 281 253 26 2
5593 War and music ? Lets keep Smileing 1.1067 0.01964 300 271 26 3
5594 I don't want to hear another word about your fat thumbs. 1.1066 0.02081 272 246 23 3
5595 The next piece is my own composition entitled, 'Fight Club.' And no, I haven't been drinking, but am a bit punch drunk from my previous profession. 1.1065 0.01925 310 280 27 3
5596 I think I lost by a TKO ... 1.1064 0.01972 282 254 26 2
5597 Is this how Scott Joplin learned? 1.1064 0.02035 282 255 24 3
5598 Turn off that spotlight! I don't want the audience to see why I play so delicately. 1.1062 0.01932 292 263 27 2
5599 Risin' up, back on the street 1.1060 0.02028 283 256 24 3
5600 It's closer to 'punch' music. 1.1060 0.02148 283 258 20 5
5601 We are now going to sing a round: Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 1.1060 0.01951 302 273 26 3
5602 My week beats your year 1.1058 0.02066 274 248 23 3
5603 Hello, Pianist Temps, send someone over quickly. One of the pianists in the duet suddenly came down with a splitting headache. 1.1055 0.02059 275 249 23 3
5604 You know, I HAVE the chicken pox! 1.1055 0.02122 275 250 21 4
5605 Marshmallow gets into hard rock 1.1054 0.02037 294 267 23 4
5606 A boxing we will go, A boxing we will go, High-ho the dairy oh, A boxing we will go! 1.1054 0.01907 313 283 27 3
5607 Next,the boxing champion Ali will perform. 1.1053 0.01994 304 276 24 4
5608 This is how Doraemon plays the piano. 1.1053 0.01888 285 256 28 1
5609 They just told me I needed to know ten key punch. 1.1051 0.01919 276 248 27 1
5610 They call me the Gloved Geek. 1.1049 0.01760 324 291 32 1
5611 And now playing “The Cinderella Man” in Cross, Hook, Uppercut.” 1.1047 0.01846 296 266 29 1
5612 Thirty years, and he still can't get "Hot Cross Buns", folks. 1.1047 0.02045 277 251 23 3
5613 For my next piece I'll literally be tinkling the ivories. 1.1045 0.02001 287 260 24 3
5614 'Time to duck & cover bitches while I fulfill the request for 'The Theme from Rocky'. 1.1044 0.02127 297 272 19 6
5615 Just to show you that I'm not at war with myself... 1.1043 0.02100 278 253 21 4
5616 I swear this is the right way to play the piano! 1.1043 0.01973 278 251 25 2
5617 Now for a medley from the World War II era 1.1043 0.02100 278 253 21 4
5618 (Afternoon of requests) "Tchaik 1st? OK. Ready!" 1.1043 0.01906 278 250 27 1
5619 ‘Ay, it’s me, Brooklyn Maitre-D! I got a nice pipin’ hot piano pie, straight from da oven! Just kidding, I’m Piano Hater! I beat ‘em up! Stop me when one of these is good enough for my MadTV audition tape. 1.1041 0.02077 269 244 22 3
5620 … And now: “Battling Joe” 1.1041 0.01938 269 242 26 1
5621 Enough with the snotty critique. I do. 1.1034 0.01981 290 263 24 3
5622 Yo Adrian. Yo Adrian, you have become part of my plan. Yo Adrian. Yo Adrian, here's the one thing. I'll step out of the boxing ring and give you another kind of RING! (excerpt from Rocky: The Stage Performance) 1.1033 0.01994 271 245 24 2
5623 At recital, all the way up the scale, my hands told me I was a non-pianist. 1.1031 0.01975 291 264 24 3
5624 This next piece is for prepared piano. 1.1030 0.01877 301 272 27 2
5625 If someone will hit me with a touch of smelling salts, I'll close with Ode to the Renaissance man. 1.1025 0.02125 283 259 19 5
5626 And that's how I learned to play "Concert Toes". 1.1023 0.01979 303 276 23 4
5627 This next number is really hot. 1.1023 0.01944 264 238 25 1
5628 I didn't want to, it sounds awful. 1.1020 0.01800 304 274 29 1
5629 This isn’t a boxing match for crying out loud! You are meant to play the piano and those gloves are completely inappropriate. Don’t look at me like that, you know exactly what to do, so get them gloves off and use your fingers like you’re supposed t! 1.1019 0.02147 265 242 19 4
5630 "Every time I try to play 1 key I play 6 other keys" 1.1018 0.01762 334 302 30 2
5631 Perhaps I should switch to hand drumming instead. 1.1013 0.02014 306 280 21 5
5632 I was told not to juggle boxing and piano but I didn't know that it was to avoid something like this! 1.1011 0.02132 267 244 19 4
5633 Wait, this is not the bathroom... Too late I guess. 1.1007 0.02137 278 255 18 5
5634 What's that? You'd like me to play with boxing gloves on? Well, it's highly unorthodox. I won't be able to use my fingers to strike individual keys. Might as well give it a try, I suppose. 1.1004 0.02167 259 237 18 4
5635 Chord Master 1.1004 0.01981 269 244 23 2
5636 I just have to punch the keys on the piano to bring 'em back to tune 1.1000 0.01998 280 255 22 3
5637 The performance will continue as soon as I dispose of this anthropomorphic mouse! 1.1000 0.02017 260 236 22 2
5638 And as I face the final curtain, Boss, I honor you. 1.1000 0.02062 280 256 20 4
5639 This is not what I meant by “break a leg”! 1.1000 0.02017 260 236 22 2
5640 `We now take you to a very controlled contest!! 1.0997 0.02069 291 267 19 5
5641 With all due respect to Simon et al - this is not going to work. 1.0996 0.01860 281 254 26 1
5642 I will now attempt Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on super duper hard mode. 1.0993 0.01985 282 257 22 3
5643 Thank you thank you I will be autograph signing healthcare bills after the show. Thank you! 1.0986 0.01871 294 267 25 2
5644 Get used to this. 1.0981 0.02052 265 242 20 3
5645 Chopin handicaps himself just to flex on his peers and assert domincance. 1.0976 0.01952 287 262 22 3
5646 I'll be playing the piano sonata by Wolfgang Amadeus K.O.zart 1.0975 0.01926 277 252 23 2
5647 Safety first of all: I prefer to skip a note that the piano top makes me jump my fingers. 1.0971 0.01986 278 254 21 3
5648 Meet me in the ring after this piece. Five O'Clock. Don't be late. 1.0971 0.01986 278 254 21 3
5649 I am David, Front of House at the Wigmore Hall. 1.0968 0.02106 279 257 17 5
5650 I said Moonlight "Sonata'"- not Moonlight "South Paw"! 1.0967 0.01895 300 274 23 3
5651 OK, I've got a nail biting problem, nut couldn't I wear a cone instead? 1.0963 0.02002 301 277 19 5
5652 And now I shall perform Chopin's Prelude in G for pianist's penis. 1.0962 0.01926 291 266 22 3
5653 A Beethoven Classic, right up. 1.0959 0.01792 271 245 26 0
5654 "The key to solving any problem is to just finger it out." 1.0952 0.01967 294 270 20 4
5655 I wish I had knuckles instead of these crab hands. 1.0952 0.01854 273 248 24 1
5656 Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready for some action on the old 88! 1.0949 0.01919 274 250 22 2
5657 Its tough to survive in this business." Mel Vigman, Summit, N 1.0947 0.01959 264 241 21 2
5658 I am fighting a cold tonight. I play not Tchaikovsky, but Chopsticks. 1.0940 0.02085 266 245 17 4
5659 'This next piece is called 'Boxing Clever'' 1.0936 0.01753 299 272 26 1
5660 You know the old saying? Yes...I am a professional Pugilist Pianist. 1.0936 0.01863 267 243 23 1
5661 Nauseating discordance is the soundtrack to my career but they’ll never understand :( 1.0933 0.01810 300 274 24 2
5662 OH GOD IM GONNA CUM 1.0931 0.02028 290 268 17 5
5663 You thought I said my favorite things were pianos and violins, did you? 1.0928 0.01772 291 265 25 1
5664 I will now attempt my encore in C#m 1.0927 0.01736 302 275 26 1
5665 Required paraphernalia to perform the latest new music and to fight back. 1.0925 0.01804 281 256 24 1
5666 Oh, Mr. Mayweather, I'm going to tune you up! 1.0924 0.01731 303 276 26 1
5667 Guess who said, "I punched my music teacher because I didn't think he knew anything about music and I almost got expelled." 1.0923 0.01980 271 249 19 3
5668 It’s the new fashion 1.0923 0.01761 271 246 25 0
5669 I will now perform Rocky's concerto no. 1 for pianist's penis. 1.0916 0.02070 251 231 17 3
5670 My firsta requesta eez "Box Em RoundO 1.0912 0.01818 274 250 23 1
5671 What is Stevie Wonder up to now? 1.0912 0.01913 285 262 20 3
5672 How'd you like to pull my gloves? 1.0906 0.01845 265 242 22 1
5673 A punchers chance my a#%! 1.0903 0.01775 321 295 23 3
5674 i was afraid there'd be a boxing kangaroo in the audience 1.0903 0.01829 288 264 22 2
5675 I don't think they'll even notice I sent a sub for this gig. 1.0903 0.01829 288 264 22 2
5676 Hey ! Wanna learn my boxing style ? 1.0899 0.01793 278 254 23 1
5677 Rocky still has a punchers chance of knocking out Liszt's Campanella 1.0895 0.01704 324 297 25 2
5678 I never knew that a set of punches could sound like a set of keys. 1.0893 0.01744 291 266 24 1
5679 Sorry I promised my wife to stay off Facebook for a week But i can box my way through. 1.0893 0.01851 280 257 21 2
5680 Just the kind of gloves I need for a piano. 1.0889 0.01959 270 249 18 3
5681 Remember: 9/11 was an inside job 1.0889 0.01668 315 288 26 1
5682 I can't Bogy gus zaso, concord nh 1.0886 0.01880 271 249 20 2
5683 What a Louis Lortie Nightmare looks like 1.0884 0.01857 294 271 20 3
5684 Since I can play only chords, my concert repertoire is limited...but we'll see what happens. 1.0882 0.01800 272 249 22 1
5685 And now for your request...punch in time...sing alone folks... 1.0881 0.01994 261 241 17 3
5686 Bach-sing! Cantatas. By Bach. Me singing. Dammit, they were right! The only sight gags that work with you people are pianist jokes. Somebody get these off me. The gloves, madam! 1.0876 0.01861 274 252 20 2
5687 Oh! Oh no! This must be how you hit “the brown note.” 1.0872 0.01770 298 274 22 2
5688 The Scouts new "Trump Advisor" badge. 1.0871 0.02060 287 268 13 6
5689 An uninpired riff off of my Baa Baa Blacksheep entry made the finals. 1.0864 0.01815 301 278 20 3
5690 ''I heard Chuck Norris plays the violin with a piano between his teeth, this will be easy in comparison...what do you mean internet memes aren't true?'' 1.0861 0.01877 267 246 19 2
5691 How will I flip the notes? 1.0849 0.01696 271 248 23 0
5692 Hmmmm, Insurance Company says I am not covered if I am not covered" 1.0843 0.01886 261 241 18 2
5693 I Call this number.... 1.0839 0.01715 286 263 22 1
5694 Its the fermata tiger, its the trill of Wainwright 1.0833 0.01818 276 255 19 2
5695 It's not gay. It's big dick energy. 1.0817 0.01881 257 238 17 2
5696 Oh request those great 1-2 beat tunes. 1.0808 0.01722 297 275 20 2
5697 On piano making right noise. 1.0794 0.01781 277 257 18 2
5698 I'd gladly spar but I'm ill-prepared in today's reign of hip hop, rap, house and Brittney/Bieber clones. 1.0789 0.01840 279 260 16 3
5699 My bad, I have pummeling walls and newspapers as my primary job, and this as my second. 1.0777 0.01815 283 264 16 3
5700 First they took away the boxing ring...now I don't know how to play this piano...unless they have really really wide keys... 1.0733 0.01818 273 256 14 3
5701 Here’s an old standardyiu May. It recognise 1.0728 0.01785 261 244 15 2
5702 Casio Clay got more than e asked for when presented with a Baby Grand 1.0706 0.01733 269 252 15 2
5703 Never made a better performance 1.0706 0.01565 269 250 19 0
5704 Man, taking 25 lsd tablets wants my best choice 1.0676 0.01661 281 264 15 2
5705 R is for the way you drove me crazy,O is for the way you drove me nuts,Cis for the way you drove me insane,put them all together they spell fricking psyco.. 1.0639 0.01503 266 249 17 0
5706 How do I piano tune with my claws? 1.0619 0.01524 307 290 15 2
5707 sorry guys just came back from a game and i sweat alot and my gloves are stuck sorry we are still doing the show but i will have twin brother do it instead you won't tell the difference well be dose play boxing 1.0549 0.01533 255 242 12 1