Contest #643


Cartoon

643

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “And now—I've got an old score to settle.”
  2. “My next piece may sound a little bit like the last one.”
  3. “We'll have a brief intermission while I make a pretty big career decision.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-12-17T02:23:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-01-07T02:23:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-01-01T02:23:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued January 7, 2019
Number of captions 5708
Number of responses 1185450
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My next selection sounds just like the last one. 1.5520 0.05263 221 139 42 40
1 This next song is pretty much the same as the last one. 1.5473 0.05367 201 124 44 33
2 I could have been a conductor. 1.5407 0.05164 209 128 49 32
3 This next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.5183 0.04831 218 133 57 28
4 My next piece may sound a little bit like the last one. 1.5169 0.04708 236 146 58 32
5 Anyone else forget to turn off their cellphone? 1.5073 0.04772 205 123 60 22
6 They say dress for the job you want; not the job you have. 1.5047 0.04856 214 133 54 27
7 And now, my musical interpretation of the Trump presidency... 1.5045 0.05134 220 145 39 36
8 That's right. I'm just that good. 1.5000 0.05633 174 113 35 26
9 And now Gershwin’s lesser-known ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’ 1.4930 0.04748 215 134 56 25
10 You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. 1.4926 0.04756 203 124 58 21
11 My final encore is for the gentleman asleep in Row 3. 1.4883 0.04873 213 136 50 27
12 You may have heard your children play this next piece. 1.4858 0.04890 212 136 49 27
13 We'll have a brief intermission while I make a pretty big career decision. 1.4780 0.04869 205 131 50 24
14 I wasn't joking about the cell phones 1.4764 0.04914 191 120 51 20
15 You may laugh, but the last time I had the lid drop on my hands I couldn’t play for a month. 1.4760 0.04816 208 133 51 24
16 Oh, you said "Bach's" 1.4706 0.04713 238 159 46 33
17 And now here's something for those of you who slept through the Mozart. 1.4700 0.04751 200 126 54 20
18 No, that was Für Elise. Now try to name this tune... 1.4686 0.04734 207 132 53 22
19 Ok, that's it! Who forgot to silence their cell phone? 1.4678 0.04470 233 149 59 25
20 Would the guy who booed please stand up? 1.4677 0.04680 201 126 56 19
21 I always hate this part of the dream. 1.4673 0.04872 199 128 49 22
22 This next piece was written by my cat. 1.4660 0.05087 206 139 38 29
23 I will now play Sonata for Trump’s First Two Years. 1.4658 0.04940 219 148 40 31
24 I would like to dedicate this to my ex-wife. 1.4653 0.05018 202 134 42 26
25 Every night it's the same dream. I'm onstage, seated at a piano wearing box gloves, and no pants. 1.4633 0.04556 218 139 57 22
26 I coulda been a contata. 1.4631 0.04900 203 133 46 24
27 And now, I've got an old score to settle. 1.4626 0.04618 214 137 55 22
28 Hit it! 1.4619 0.04635 197 123 57 17
29 You may have heard this little number before...if you have a cat and a piano. 1.4615 0.04412 234 150 60 24
30 And now the famous sonata for piano and concussion. 1.4607 0.04854 178 111 52 15
31 For my next selection, Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.4569 0.04905 197 129 46 22
32 I will now play Trump's étude in diplomacy 1.4565 0.05494 184 128 28 28
33 My cat composed this next one. 1.4529 0.04783 223 151 43 29
34 After a few drinks we agreed to swap jobs for the evening. I guarantee the pianist is NOT having fun. 1.4505 0.05012 202 137 39 26
35 Someone stole my tip jar last night. That’ll never happen again. 1.4503 0.04848 191 124 48 19
36 I’ll be playing this in pugilissimo. 1.4485 0.04902 194 128 45 21
37 I composed my next piece after my divorce. 1.4483 0.05377 174 118 34 22
38 After a month of Christmas songs, I'd like to play one for Boxing Day! 1.4439 0.04518 223 147 53 23
39 Now a tribute to our current President 1.4433 0.04941 203 138 40 25
40 This next piece is dedicated to those critics who say I lacked a deft touch and attacked the piano with a pugilistic style. 1.4422 0.05164 199 139 32 28
41 I call this next number, ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’. 1.4416 0.05154 197 137 33 27
42 And consider that a warning. Anyone else wanna answer their phone? 1.4400 0.04660 225 153 45 27
43 Finally, Ravel's Bolero is going to get what it deserves. 1.4385 0.05144 187 128 36 23
44 Sit back and relax - tonight it's nothing but the hits! 1.4378 0.04512 217 143 53 21
45 I trust the jurors will consider degree of difficulty. 1.4369 0.04685 206 137 48 21
46 Please hold your applause until the final bell 1.4361 0.04455 227 151 53 23
47 I will now play a piece inspired by my visit to the White House 1.4358 0.05432 179 126 28 25
48 No, Franz is my elder brother...I'm Pugi Liszt. 1.4356 0.04904 202 138 40 24
49 I'm gonna need a page turner. 1.4340 0.04537 212 140 52 20
50 To make it even more interesting my Assistant will now blindfold me. 1.4329 0.04354 231 153 56 22
51 Now, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.4320 0.04367 206 132 59 15
52 I'm going to need someone to turn the pages for me. 1.4312 0.04445 218 144 54 20
53 Please join me in the Julliard School fight song 1.4304 0.04494 230 156 49 25
54 This last piece is from my boxed set. 1.4293 0.04655 198 131 49 18
55 It hasn't been a smooth career transition 1.4292 0.04367 233 156 54 23
56 Alexa, play literally anything. 1.4286 0.04712 210 143 44 23
57 These stay on until the tip jar is full. 1.4286 0.04361 217 142 57 18
58 I’m just going to hit a few notes. 1.4278 0.04889 194 132 41 21
59 I will now play The Boxer by Simon & Garfunkel, as it's never been played before. 1.4274 0.04310 234 156 56 22
60 And now a piece by Punchini. 1.4272 0.04627 206 138 48 20
61 And now, because you're drunk and not listening anyway... 1.4267 0.04463 232 158 49 25
62 You think this was bad? You should hear me play the violin. 1.4254 0.04520 228 156 47 25
63 Is there nothing atonal enough that you snobs wouldn't pretend to like? 1.4244 0.04692 205 139 45 21
64 I've suffered for my art. Now it's your turn. 1.4241 0.04622 224 155 43 26
65 I'd like to knock out a few tunes for you 1.4236 0.04878 203 141 38 24
66 And now, my tribute to Philip Glass. 1.4236 0.04725 203 138 44 21
67 This next piece is forte. Very, very forte. 1.4227 0.04456 220 148 51 21
68 It's Shostakovich. You won't notice the difference. 1.4225 0.04610 213 145 46 22
69 This next one’s dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.4223 0.04623 206 139 47 20
70 And now, time to knock out a few classics. 1.4223 0.04824 206 143 39 24
71 And next, a piece written by President Trump. 1.4222 0.05283 180 127 30 23
72 This next piece features dense chords, unusual harmonies, and a pounding rhythm. 1.4222 0.04474 225 153 49 23
73 And now, a request from the drunks at table three. 1.4221 0.04632 199 133 48 18
74 And now, Mozart's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.4218 0.04642 211 144 45 22
75 Sorry for the gloves, but some of the notes are sharp. 1.4213 0.04515 216 146 49 21
76 And now, here’s one that pretty much anybody can play. 1.4213 0.04609 216 148 45 23
77 Would the gentleman in the balcony care to repeat that remark? 1.4211 0.04574 209 141 48 20
78 And now a little piece I wrote watching the news. 1.4211 0.04722 209 144 42 23
79 I call it Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4208 0.04251 221 145 59 17
80 I coulda been a composer 1.4204 0.04324 226 151 55 20
81 You don't understand. I could've played a cadenza. I could've been somebody! 1.4203 0.04756 207 143 41 23
82 When we change to C sharp major, the gloves come off. 1.4202 0.04252 238 160 56 22
83 I play the anthem the way he runs the country 1.4200 0.05080 200 143 30 27
84 I find the piece goes quickly if I can hit a bunch of notes at the same time. 1.4199 0.05140 181 126 34 21
85 I dedicate this song to my father and mother who had different plans for me. 1.4195 0.04585 205 138 48 19
86 And now, Liszt's sonata in B minor, B major, A minor, C major... All of the keys, really. 1.4190 0.04557 210 142 48 20
87 I'll be delighted to meet with the critics after the show. 1.4190 0.04299 210 137 58 15
88 And now, my latest composition:”Requiem For a Heavyweight.” 1.4188 0.04429 234 161 48 25
89 And now Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4188 0.04173 234 155 60 19
90 Please turn on your cell phones. 1.4187 0.04617 203 137 47 19
91 The next piece is entitled, "The Trump White House." 1.4187 0.04874 203 142 37 24
92 For my next piece, the gloves are coming off. 1.4186 0.04576 215 147 46 22
93 I dedicate this piece to the Times critic in the second row. 1.4178 0.04460 213 143 51 19
94 Tonight I'll be performing some of my greatest hits. 1.4175 0.04720 206 142 42 22
95 This next piece was written as a round...actually ten rounds. 1.4167 0.05159 180 126 33 21
96 This one's going out to my ex-wife and her attorney. 1.4163 0.04437 221 150 50 21
97 Beethoven’s going down in the 5th 1.4155 0.04604 219 152 43 24
98 Anyone can play blindfolded. 1.4141 0.04805 198 137 40 21
99 Cough one more time, I dare you. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
100 Could I have a volunteer from the audience to come scratch my nose? 1.4140 0.04427 215 145 51 19
101 And this next piece is for my ex-wife. 1.4138 0.04665 203 139 44 20
102 The next selection is my own composition,'Rhapsody in Black and Blue'. 1.4136 0.04449 220 150 49 21
103 I shall say this only once. Cell phones off! 1.4133 0.04785 196 135 41 20
104 Let's see how many of youse remember dis one… 1.4130 0.04219 230 154 57 19
105 What it lacks in subtlety it gains in punch. 1.4127 0.04496 189 124 52 13
106 I was told to expect a tough crowd. 1.4123 0.04279 211 139 57 15
107 I'll conclude with Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4120 0.04312 216 144 55 17
108 If you think this looks difficult, wait till you see me play the harp. 1.4115 0.04406 226 155 49 22
109 I am very happy to be back here in Madison Square Garden 1.4115 0.04406 226 155 49 22
110 It was at that moment,Ted realized he had put his boxing gloves on instead of his tuxedo pants. Again. 1.4115 0.04665 209 145 42 22
111 I'm done tickling them. 1.4106 0.04597 207 142 45 20
112 This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. 1.4101 0.04584 217 151 43 23
113 This next piece is a bit heavy-handed. 1.4097 0.04255 227 153 55 19
114 For my encore, Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4095 0.04744 210 148 38 24
115 Tonight I'll be playing Chopin's Nocturne in C#, D, D#, E, and F Minor. 1.4093 0.04844 215 155 32 28
116 I started out tickling the ivories ... now I like to beat the crap out of them! 1.4093 0.04298 237 163 51 23
117 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Leonard Bernstein. 1.4089 0.04555 203 138 47 18
118 I will now play for you Mozart's little-known "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.4089 0.04660 203 140 43 20
119 I will now perform "Dance of the Sugar Ray Plum Fairy". 1.4083 0.04329 218 147 53 18
120 And the hits just keep coming. 1.4076 0.04480 211 144 48 19
121 Before I begin I want to thank my piano teacher, Mike Tyson. 1.4074 0.04674 189 128 45 16
122 I just play the hits. 1.4072 0.04335 221 150 52 19
123 The ski boots are making it difficult to work the pedals. 1.4070 0.04780 199 139 39 21
124 Could somebody scratch my nose? 1.4067 0.04459 209 142 49 18
125 Handel with care 1.4064 0.04709 187 127 44 16
126 I'm not so much tickling the ivory as I am pounding them into submission. 1.4061 0.04226 229 155 55 19
127 One of my greatest hits... 1.4053 0.04251 227 154 54 19
128 Just wait until after intermission; that’s when the gloves come off! 1.4052 0.04186 232 157 56 19
129 I was told to be careful - some of the keys are sharp. 1.4051 0.04684 195 134 43 18
130 And now, my rendition of the crap these kids are listening to nowadays. 1.4049 0.04776 205 145 37 23
131 This is Mozart's Concerto in G minor, A major, D minor and C#. 1.4044 0.04547 225 159 41 25
132 For this next fugue I am going to take the gloves off. 1.4038 0.04674 208 146 40 22
133 The next piece is a new work titled "A day at the White House". 1.4030 0.04635 201 139 43 19
134 Sir, would you mind not ringing that bell before every movement? 1.4028 0.04374 211 143 51 17
135 Ladies and Gentlemen,.. Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4027 0.04377 221 152 49 20
136 Can somebody adjust my tie? 1.4024 0.04917 169 115 40 14
137 There are no white notes; there are no black notes; there are just... notes. 1.4020 0.04557 199 136 46 17
138 And now, Mozart's "A Little Fight Music" 1.4019 0.04479 214 148 46 20
139 Can ANYONE name that tune ?? Anyone ?? Anyone ?? 1.4018 0.04646 224 161 36 27
140 This is dedicated to the critics who thought my last performance lacked finesse. 1.4017 0.04221 229 156 54 19
141 Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4010 0.04825 202 144 35 23
142 I guarantee: Beethoven is going down in the 5th. 1.4000 0.04564 195 133 46 16
143 Anyone can play with his bare hands. 1.4000 0.04427 200 135 50 15
144 Howard had gravely misunderstood what the club manager meant by "dueling pianos." 1.4000 0.05038 185 132 32 21
145 What would you have done if your teacher kept hitting your fingers? 1.3991 0.04511 218 153 43 22
146 Who requested a fight song? 1.3990 0.04477 193 130 49 14
147 I thought you said FIGHT of the bumblebee. 1.3990 0.04712 193 134 41 18
148 And now for a piece my two year old son wrote 1.3982 0.04325 221 152 50 19
149 This piece is called 'Flight of the Elephant.' 1.3981 0.04635 216 154 38 24
150 This next piece is titled "Ode To My Parents Who Could Not Agree On After School Activities" 1.3980 0.04465 201 137 48 16
151 Sorry sir, but "My Way" means my way. 1.3972 0.04324 214 146 51 17
152 Can I get a page turner in here?? 1.3971 0.04526 204 141 45 18
153 The inspiration for my next piece comes from being bullied on my way to piano lessons. 1.3971 0.04418 204 139 49 16
154 I’m just gonna knock out a few tunes for you. 1.3970 0.04607 199 138 43 18
155 I coulda been a cadenza." 1.3966 0.05099 179 128 31 20
156 Any other hecklers out there? I thought not. 1.3964 0.04310 222 153 50 19
157 My father wanted me to box and my mother wanted me to play the piano. I call this piece The Regrettable Compromise. 1.3963 0.04331 217 149 50 18
158 I call this number “Rhapsody in Black and Blue” 1.3960 0.04278 202 135 54 13
159 I will only be playing my hits. 1.3956 0.04360 225 157 47 21
160 Maim that tune. 1.3952 0.04633 210 149 39 22
161 I plan to take Beethoven in the Ninth. 1.3952 0.04483 210 146 45 19
162 You mean it isn't "'Fight'" of the Bumblebee?" 1.3951 0.04508 205 142 45 18
163 I tend to fight Bach. 1.3950 0.04588 200 139 43 18
164 And now for a little Rockymaninoff. 1.3944 0.04386 213 147 48 18
165 And now, my new arrangement of 'Hail to the Chief.' 1.3934 0.05131 183 133 28 22
166 This song is dedicated to my mother-in-law.... 1.3927 0.04378 191 128 51 12
167 Oh, THAT kind of dueling pianos. 1.3922 0.04521 204 142 44 18
168 Now, for the grand finale—my blindfold, please. 1.3921 0.04237 227 157 51 19
169 For my next song I'll play something from the early Trump years, Covfefe, in g-minor. 1.3920 0.04764 199 142 36 21
170 We'll start on the count of three -- and, of course, finish on the count of ten. 1.3919 0.04352 222 155 47 20
171 Any other stupid requests? 1.3918 0.04686 194 136 40 18
172 This next one goes out to all my critics 1.3909 0.04185 220 150 54 16
173 It’s not like you can hear me over your phones anyhow. 1.3909 0.04905 197 143 31 23
174 It’s an experimental piece. 1.3904 0.04628 187 129 43 15
175 Now, the Philip Glass variations on Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.3900 0.04637 200 141 40 19
176 I coulda been a conductor. 1.3899 0.04310 218 151 49 18
177 My next song is "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3897 0.04627 213 153 37 23
178 And now, Rossini's earlier and lesser-known work, The Boxer of Seville. 1.3892 0.04479 203 141 45 17
179 I tell ya, I coulda been somebody... I coulda been a conductor! 1.3889 0.04614 198 139 41 18
180 Tonight, I will finally give this piano what it has deserved for years. 1.3889 0.04832 198 143 33 22
181 And now the theme from Rocky, as it was meant to be played. 1.3886 0.04609 211 151 38 22
182 Now for my take on Gershwin, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue”. 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
183 The critic from the Times will not be joining us this evening. 1.3883 0.04907 188 135 33 20
184 I can't start without my page turner! 1.3881 0.04244 219 151 51 17
185 And for my next piece, "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3871 0.04271 217 150 50 17
186 No other pianist would even attempt this. 1.3867 0.04350 225 159 45 21
187 This is my concerto in 15 rounds. 1.3867 0.04067 225 153 57 15
188 Subtlety and nuance are so overrated. 1.3864 0.04758 176 122 40 14
189 My version of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". 1.3861 0.04599 202 143 40 19
190 Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my first ever Pay-Per-View event... 1.3861 0.04436 202 140 46 16
191 If I hear one more cell phone ringing, the gloves come off! 1.3858 0.04846 197 143 32 22
192 I've found these to be enormously helpful in performing Bartok. 1.3857 0.04155 210 142 55 13
193 I shall now play "Flight of the elephant." 1.3854 0.04755 205 149 33 23
194 My next piece will be “Fight of the Bumblebee” 1.3854 0.04389 205 142 47 16
195 And now, a Chopin nocturne in C, D, E, F and very probably G. 1.3853 0.04397 231 166 41 24
196 And now, an ode to my ex-wife. 1.3846 0.04603 195 137 41 17
197 I will now perform 'Rhapsody in Black & Blue' 1.3846 0.04213 221 153 51 17
198 I call this next one “An Ode to 2018.” 1.3839 0.04406 224 160 42 22
199 Tonight, only hits. 1.3836 0.04072 232 160 55 17
200 Here’s the tricky part. 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
201 Yeah. I’m that good. 1.3836 0.04337 219 154 46 19
202 I was told my tunes weren't punchy enough. 1.3833 0.04679 180 125 41 14
203 I can't Handel this. 1.3833 0.04407 227 163 41 23
204 I dedicate this next piece to the critics." 1.3831 0.04503 201 141 43 17
205 What? It’s FLIGHT of the Bumblebee? 1.3830 0.04783 188 134 36 18
206 And now, the hits. 1.3829 0.04974 175 125 33 17
207 Now a little something from Dukes Ellington. 1.3827 0.04526 196 137 43 16
208 Why yes, it IS a player piano. Why do you ask? 1.3825 0.04315 217 152 47 18
209 I get a lot of criticism for this next one. 1.3824 0.04509 204 144 42 18
210 No need to turn off your cell phones. 1.3824 0.04509 204 144 42 18
211 Will someone ring the bell so I can start? 1.3821 0.04177 212 145 53 14
212 The finale is a knockout. 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
213 Could you turn the page, please? 1.3818 0.04368 220 156 44 20
214 Now I'd like to knock out a few requests. 1.3810 0.04821 189 136 34 19
215 For this next one I'll need a volunteer. 1.3803 0.04567 213 154 37 22
216 And now, The Ill-Tempered Clavier. 1.3803 0.04369 213 150 45 18
217 Next critic? 1.3803 0.04318 213 149 47 17
218 I'm the guest pianist at the Trump Family Christmas Party. 1.3795 0.04710 195 140 36 19
219 You want to step up on the stage and say that, sir? 1.3795 0.04309 224 159 45 20
220 This next piece is titled Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3795 0.04401 224 161 41 22
221 Alex Ross wrote last week that I played as if wearing boxing gloves. This next piece is for Alex. 1.3795 0.03868 224 150 63 11
222 I seem to have Baroque the piano. 1.3790 0.04566 219 160 35 24
223 And now, 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3785 0.04501 214 154 39 21
224 And now, a new composition, "Ode to Trump." 1.3785 0.04302 214 150 47 17
225 This next piece is called A Presidential Press Conference. 1.3785 0.04402 214 152 43 19
226 And now, the 1812 Overture as it was meant to be played. 1.3784 0.04710 185 131 38 16
227 And now for Chopin with some punch. 1.3784 0.04647 185 130 40 15
228 My other instrument is the hammered dulcimer. 1.3782 0.04629 193 137 39 17
229 I shall select Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3781 0.04327 201 139 48 14
230 This next piece is a knockout. 1.3777 0.04531 188 131 43 14
231 And now, the Gold’s Gym Variations 1.3775 0.04608 204 147 37 20
232 I call this piece Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3775 0.04393 204 143 45 16
233 Go on, request Piano Man man again. I dare you. 1.3769 0.04527 199 141 41 17
234 And now, a Victor Borge etude from his deconstructive period. 1.3768 0.04294 207 144 48 15
235 And now something for the critics 1.3767 0.04336 215 152 45 18
236 And now, 'Toddlers Pounding on Piano', an original score by my 3-year old twins. 1.3762 0.04142 210 144 53 13
237 I will now perform Bach's little-know Golden Gloves Variations. 1.3757 0.04512 189 132 43 14
238 I call it "Fur Ali." 1.3756 0.04430 205 145 43 17
239 The ivories have announced they no longer want to be tickled. 1.3756 0.04202 221 155 49 17
240 And now, Beethoven's 5th Round! 1.3750 0.04437 208 148 42 18
241 Give me a minute while I break in this new piano. 1.3744 0.04404 203 143 44 16
242 This one goes out to my ex wife. 1.3731 0.04503 193 136 42 15
243 It's a percussion instrument, dammit! 1.3725 0.04441 204 145 42 17
244 The best Opus is a good defence. 1.3723 0.04523 188 132 42 14
245 This next tune is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3714 0.04023 210 143 56 11
246 I think you'll find this one less subtle than my earlier works 1.3707 0.04258 205 143 48 14
247 This last movement opens with a mandatory eight count. 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
248 Next, Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3700 0.04210 227 162 46 19
249 This next piece is my homage to cognitive dissonance. 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
250 Rhapsody in black and blue. 1.3700 0.04029 200 135 56 9
251 Due to the present social environment I can no longer tickle the ivories 1.3698 0.04515 192 136 41 15
252 I am going to play an original composition that I am sure you will love, if you know what's good for you. 1.3696 0.04652 184 131 38 15
253 And now for George Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Bruise.' 1.3696 0.04840 184 134 32 18
254 The next one goes something like this. 1.3696 0.04215 230 165 45 20
255 This piece is a knockout. 1.3695 0.04341 203 143 45 15
256 I call this one 'Crippling the Ivories'. 1.3694 0.04276 222 159 44 19
257 I will be performing the cannon solo from Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture transcribed for piano. 1.3692 0.04465 195 138 42 15
258 You see, I only play in my spar time. 1.3689 0.04241 206 144 48 14
259 First, I like to show the piano who’s boss. 1.3687 0.04417 198 140 43 15
260 The conductor and I have worked out our artistic differences. 1.3687 0.03933 217 148 58 11
261 Has it been tuned? 1.3684 0.04360 209 149 43 17
262 And now. Gershwin as you've never heard him. 1.3679 0.04435 193 136 43 14
263 And for my next piece, I will need a new piano. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
264 "This next piece will be played in rounds." 1.3668 0.04281 199 139 47 13
265 If you don't like my playing, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. 1.3667 0.04182 210 147 49 14
266 And now Beethoven’s sonata in C, B, Bb, A and G#. 1.3665 0.04381 221 161 39 21
267 And now for some of my greatest hits. 1.3665 0.04238 221 158 45 18
268 And now for my sonata in C, C sharp, D, E, and F. 1.3663 0.04679 202 149 32 21
269 Can you hear me now ? 1.3663 0.04408 202 144 42 16
270 I am also a neurosurgeon. 1.3662 0.04350 213 153 42 18
271 I am now going to play a piano interpretation of Donald Trump’s presidency. 1.3659 0.04830 205 155 25 25
272 And now, Beethoven in the 5th. 1.3657 0.04306 216 155 43 18
273 You should see the other piano 1.3654 0.04263 208 147 46 15
274 For my next hit... 1.3653 0.04010 219 152 54 13
275 This next little number will knock you out. 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
276 And now, 'Eine Kleine Knock-out-musik' 1.3651 0.04558 189 135 39 15
277 I have wrestled with Tchaikovsky my entire life, but tonight I'm going to clobber him!" 1.3649 0.04166 211 148 49 14
278 Good evening and welcome to our first Mixed Musical Arts competition. 1.3646 0.04384 192 135 44 13
279 Tonight, I go 10 rounds with Liszt 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
280 I dedicate this next number to everyone who believed I coulda been a contender. 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
281 I dare you to keep your cell phone on. 1.3641 0.04337 195 137 45 13
282 The next piece is from the Maestro's black and blue period. 1.3641 0.04457 195 139 41 15
283 This next tune may ring a bell. 1.3641 0.04289 217 156 43 18
284 Bach off. 1.3641 0.04289 217 156 43 18
285 Now, for the fight song. 1.3636 0.04409 198 141 42 15
286 So what? Beethoven was deaf. 1.3636 0.04524 198 143 38 17
287 That's it! The gloves are coming off. 1.3636 0.04405 209 151 40 18
288 Where is my page turner? 1.3636 0.04136 209 146 50 13
289 Mom, you and Dad are going to have to reach an agreement as to what you want me to be. 1.3632 0.04360 212 153 41 18
290 While I drink a glass of water. 1.3632 0.04203 212 150 47 15
291 After all those Christmas carols, this one is for Boxing Day 1.3632 0.04360 212 153 41 18
292 This next song begins with a standing eight count 1.3632 0.04128 201 139 51 11
293 I like to think that I legato like a butterfly and staccato like bee. 1.3632 0.04584 201 147 35 19
294 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Charles... 1.3632 0.04538 190 136 39 15
295 And now, a little Rockymaninoff. 1.3631 0.04929 179 132 29 18
296 LLLET'S GET READY TO CRESCENDOOOOOOO!!!! 1.3628 0.04440 226 168 34 24
297 "Do I hear a request for Rhapsody in Black and Blue?" 1.3628 0.04265 215 154 44 17
298 And now I shall play Beethoven's Fist. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
299 Before I begin, are there any critics in the audience tonight? 1.3627 0.04547 193 139 38 16
300 I call this next piece "Beethoven's Fist". 1.3625 0.04122 240 174 45 21
301 And now I’d like to play for you some of my greatest hits. 1.3624 0.04080 229 163 49 17
302 I dedicate this last tune to the guy snoring in row one 1.3620 0.04327 221 161 40 20
303 You shoulda seen the other Steinway! 1.3620 0.04133 221 157 48 16
304 ...and now Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor. And also in A Major, B Minor, D Minor, E Minor, F Major and G Major. Just because I can. 1.3620 0.04327 221 161 40 20
305 My therapist told me the way to treat performance anxiety is to imagine my worst fear. 1.3619 0.04335 210 151 42 17
306 Next I am going to play one of my smash hits 1.3618 0.04332 199 141 44 14
307 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3613 0.04394 191 135 43 13
308 And now... a medley of big hits. 1.3613 0.04578 191 138 37 16
309 Inspired by a recent court order, I call this piece "Anger Management" 1.3611 0.04578 180 128 39 13
310 It'll be three rounds of Bach and then the gloves come off. 1.3611 0.04249 216 155 44 17
311 This next piece consists of twelve rounds. 1.3608 0.04347 194 137 44 13
312 This first piece will be a knockout. 1.3607 0.04071 244 177 46 21
313 And as promised, my finale is a real knockout. 1.3606 0.04144 208 146 49 13
314 I love pounding the ivories. 1.3606 0.04255 208 148 45 15
315 And now, a flurry of left jabs in G-minor. 1.3605 0.04074 233 167 48 18
316 And now I’d like to bang out a few of my favorite tunes. 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
317 Can I get a volunteer to turn pages....? 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
318 The sound is terrible, but I get way less hecklers. 1.3602 0.03992 211 146 54 11
319 I've been told you're a tough audience. 1.3602 0.04104 211 148 50 13
320 And now for the younger members of the audience, a few death metal classics. 1.3602 0.04318 211 152 42 17
321 Clearly, I am the Greatest. 1.3598 0.04171 214 152 47 15
322 Great, I'm having another anxiety dream. 1.3598 0.04572 214 160 31 23
323 And, now for something completely different. 1.3598 0.03955 214 148 55 11
324 'This piece knocked me out the first time I heard it." 1.3596 0.04438 203 147 39 17
325 I do it my way! 1.3594 0.04026 217 152 52 13
326 We're doing the 1812 .... couldn't afford the cannons 1.3594 0.04375 192 136 43 13
327 This next piece was composed by the most talented lobster I ever met. 1.3594 0.04437 192 137 41 14
328 And now, a few of my greatest hits. 1.3591 0.04624 181 130 37 14
329 Tonight, I've a score to settle with the piano. 1.3589 0.04128 209 147 49 13
330 It's a variation I call 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
331 Believe it or not, that was a little tune I just knocked out. 1.3584 0.04064 226 161 49 16
332 Now is there ANYONE ELSE who thinks they want to leave before my recital is over ??? 1.3582 0.04411 201 145 40 16
333 For my final piece, I'd like to play for you Mozart's 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3581 0.04359 215 157 39 19
334 My next number may lack subtlety but it more than makes up for it in punch. 1.3580 0.04503 176 124 41 11
335 Tonight, I will not be 'tickling the ivories' as they say... 1.3578 0.04252 204 145 45 14
336 And now, mauler 1.3575 0.04521 179 127 40 12
337 This next piece is for the critic who called me a 'lightweight.' 1.3571 0.03886 224 156 56 12
338 This next piece is by my two-year-old toddler. 1.3571 0.04328 210 152 41 17
339 And now, a touching musical tribute to the great Muhammad Ali. 1.3568 0.04437 213 157 36 20
340 And now for a few of my greatest hits... 1.3565 0.04292 216 157 41 18
341 This one was written by my three-year-old 1.3565 0.04292 216 157 41 18
342 I will now play the theme from Rocky as it was meant to be played. 1.3564 0.04392 202 146 40 16
343 Oh, I wouldn't say that I "tickle" the ivories. 1.3561 0.04508 205 151 35 19
344 This will be easy, tying my tie was the difficult task. 1.3561 0.04178 205 145 47 13
345 I float like a butterfly and sting like a B-sharp. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
346 I was misled about how duelling pianos worked. 1.3558 0.04247 208 149 44 15
347 I feel like I'm fighting the music. 1.3558 0.04302 208 150 42 16
348 And now the Minuet in C, C sharp, D, D sharp, E, F, F sharp 1.3558 0.04461 208 153 36 19
349 Turns out the ivories prefer to be roughed up a little. 1.3554 0.03960 242 174 50 18
350 I'd like to dedicate this next piece to my wife of 36 years. 1.3553 0.04411 197 142 40 15
351 And now for something a little more dissonant. 1.3550 0.04247 200 142 45 13
352 This one's called "Eine Kleine Knockout-musik." 1.3550 0.04421 200 145 39 16
353 You wanna come up here and say that? 1.3548 0.04325 217 159 39 19
354 Now I'd like to pound out some old favorites. 1.3548 0.04123 217 155 47 15
355 And now a little-known piece by John Cage. 1.3547 0.04645 203 152 30 21
356 And now, Cacophony Number 9 in E minor. 1.3547 0.04204 203 144 46 13
357 I call it pugilissimo. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
358 If you’re looking for treble, you found it. 1.3542 0.04303 192 136 44 12
359 This next exuberant piece dates to Mozart's toddler years. 1.3541 0.04284 209 151 42 16
360 And now for some Rockymaninoff. 1.3538 0.04380 195 140 41 14
361 I like to play this one Pugilisimo 1.3538 0.04080 212 150 49 13
362 We're recording this one as a boxed set. 1.3537 0.04019 229 164 49 16
363 You should a looked out for me Charlie. I could a been a conductor. 1.3535 0.04508 198 145 36 17
364 Tonight I’d like to play a medley of my hits. 1.3535 0.04334 198 142 42 14
365 Wait...wait...for the punch line! 1.3535 0.04334 198 142 42 14
366 I miss the days when just tickling the ivory was enough. 1.3535 0.04251 215 156 42 17
367 Go ahead. Ask me to play Piano Man. I want you to. 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
368 This should settle the score! 1.3529 0.04068 221 158 48 15
369 My first selection is "Blunt Force Trauma, in E-Minor." 1.3527 0.04138 241 178 41 22
370 I've always loved dueling pianos. 1.3527 0.04419 207 152 37 18
371 I strongly urge everyone to turn off their cell phone! 1.3527 0.04365 207 151 39 17
372 This tune should ring a bell. 1.3526 0.04581 190 139 35 16
373 And finally, the theme from Rocky. 1.3524 0.04373 210 154 38 18
374 And now J.S. Bach's – The Ill-Tempered Clavier 1.3523 0.04348 193 138 42 13
375 Piano Concerto by Pugilini 1.3522 0.04052 230 166 47 17
376 Oh! You meant BACH'S music? 1.3518 0.04545 199 147 34 18
377 This next piece is called Sonata in C, D, E, F, G, and B Flat Minor. 1.3516 0.04659 182 133 34 15
378 Well, fine, I don't think you're a very good audience. 1.3515 0.04440 202 148 37 17
379 I'm just going to punch it up a bit. 1.3515 0.04094 202 142 49 11
380 And now, as promised, a knockout performance 1.3514 0.04152 222 161 44 17
381 Welcome to an evening of mixed martial arts and music. 1.3514 0.04103 222 160 46 16
382 For my next number, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience.... 1.3512 0.04053 205 144 50 11
383 Now for my knockout finale. 1.3512 0.04338 205 149 40 16
384 And now, for a rather punchy tune . . . 1.3511 0.04425 188 135 40 13
385 And now... a medley of my favorite hits 1.3509 0.04075 228 165 46 17
386 I wish to prove wrong the critic who said I played as if I were wearing boxing gloves 1.3509 0.03830 228 160 56 12
387 And now for something with a bit of a punch. 1.3508 0.04183 191 134 47 10
388 Hey, don't laugh. It's a lot easier than Chief of Staff. 1.3507 0.04250 211 153 42 16
389 'I'd like to dedicate this next number to my ex-wife." 1.3505 0.04510 194 142 36 16
390 This next tune was written by Mike Tyson, who, I'm told, plays by ear. 1.3504 0.03738 254 181 57 16
391 And now for a punchy tune! 1.3502 0.04115 217 156 46 15
392 I float like a butterfly and sting like B flat. 1.3500 0.04413 200 146 38 16
393 And to conclude tonight's program of heavyweight composers... 1.3500 0.04057 200 140 50 10
394 Could someone please straighten my tie? 1.3500 0.04355 200 145 40 15
395 And now, “Flight of the butterfly, by Muhammad Ali. 1.3500 0.04413 200 146 38 16
396 My record against Bartok is 10 wins, 2 losses, and one audience walkout. 1.3498 0.04137 223 162 44 17
397 It's hard to follow a banjo-playing elephant 1.3498 0.04195 203 145 45 13
398 This next one's not subtle, but it's powerful. 1.3496 0.03799 226 158 57 11
399 Anyone want to critique my performance now 1.3491 0.04127 212 152 46 14
400 This piece is called Requiem for the Presidency. 1.3487 0.04549 195 144 34 17
401 This is a punchy little number. 1.3484 0.03958 221 157 51 13
402 One more comment like that and these gloves are coming off. 1.3480 0.04235 204 147 43 14
403 I'm sorry. All I know are fight songs. 1.3480 0.04178 204 146 45 13
404 From my boxed set of recordings. 1.3480 0.04348 204 149 39 16
405 And now, 'How I Feel About The Little Drummer Boy.' 1.3478 0.04092 230 168 44 18
406 And now for another piece composed by Donald J Trump 1.3478 0.04183 230 170 40 20
407 I will now demonstrate how to knock out a tune. 1.3478 0.04680 184 136 32 16
408 This next piece is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3476 0.04468 210 157 33 20
409 Well, on the plus side, it’s only a MINUTE Waltz. 1.3476 0.04205 210 152 43 15
410 This one is for you mother 1.3476 0.04519 210 158 31 21
411 I’ve finished writing the verses, but I still need the right hook. 1.3474 0.04320 213 157 38 18
412 See if you can name this one! 1.3472 0.03964 216 153 51 12
413 Trust me. It’s all in the wrist. 1.3469 0.04353 196 142 40 14
414 You'll find this next piece has a little extra punch. 1.3464 0.04500 179 129 38 12
415 I'm done tickling the ivories. 1.3460 0.04135 211 152 45 14
416 Let's have a clean fugue, and no hitting below middle C. 1.3458 0.04303 214 158 38 18
417 I'm done with tickling the ivories. 1.3456 0.04055 217 156 47 14
418 I’m a professional. Please don’t try this at home. 1.3454 0.04381 194 141 39 14
419 I will now play our new national anthem. 1.3454 0.04618 194 145 31 18
420 Could I ask someone to retrieve the mouthguard from the soundboard? 1.3452 0.04274 197 142 42 13
421 The insurance on my hands hasn’t been processed yet. 1.3448 0.04358 203 149 38 16
422 And now, for something a little less intricate. 1.3448 0.04301 203 148 40 15
423 Tickling isn't what these ivories like. 1.3447 0.04201 206 149 43 14
424 This next piece was written by Victor Borge. 1.3445 0.04047 209 149 48 12
425 Now, a brief interlude while I make a momentous career choice. 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
426 First, I thought I'd knock out a few show tunes. 1.3440 0.03987 218 156 49 13
427 I'm prepared to defend tonight's choice of music. 1.3438 0.04162 224 165 41 18
428 This piece comes from the West Wing of the White House. 1.3438 0.04210 224 166 39 19
429 Everyone else tickles the ivories" 1.3438 0.04220 192 137 44 11
430 I could've been a contender if it weren't for those damn piano lessons. 1.3436 0.04112 195 138 47 10
431 I will now play a combo of Mozart Concertos in A minor, D minor, and G major. 1.3435 0.04131 230 170 41 19
432 Excuse me while I knock out a few songs. 1.3434 0.04316 198 144 40 14
433 I only play the hits 1.3433 0.04385 201 148 37 16
434 This won't be pretty. 1.3433 0.04328 201 147 39 15
435 I haven't practiced this piece much. I figured I'd just knock it out. 1.3431 0.04111 204 146 46 12
436 Beethoven’s 9th Round 1.3430 0.04295 207 152 39 16
437 I will now play Chopin's Nocturne in Be-Flattened. 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
438 My next piece is Piano Sonata No. 8 in somewhere between A Minor and E Major." 1.3429 0.04409 210 157 34 19
439 For my next piece I’ll play Cacophony in D minor. 1.3429 0.04357 210 156 36 18
440 Now for my biggest hit 1.3427 0.04261 213 157 39 17
441 Indeed, I did not quit my day job. 1.3427 0.04313 213 158 37 18
442 My next piece is entitled..."To Hell With Nuance" . 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
443 My next piece is dedicated to that miserable, heartless, brainless critic in the fifth row center, who had the Gaul to say I played with a heavy hand. 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
444 If you grew up on the streets of Philadelphia, you'll certainly appreciate this next piece. 1.3422 0.04425 187 136 38 13
445 I gift from my piano teacher just moment ago. 1.3422 0.04334 225 170 33 22
446 I would like to play a little song I wrote that goes nothing like this. 1.3422 0.04146 225 166 41 18
447 I thought this piece could use a little more punch. 1.3420 0.04202 193 138 44 11
448 Oh, sure, when Glenn Gould does it it's 'eccentric,' but when I do it you say 'Larry has dementia pugilistica.' 1.3420 0.04512 193 143 34 16
449 Ladies and gentlemen, I've had a request for the theme from Rocky. 1.3416 0.04310 202 148 39 15
450 And for the finale, here’s a little something that my 3 year old banged out. 1.3415 0.04094 205 147 46 12
451 Tonight The 1812 Overture. Just the cannons firing part. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
452 I'm going to regale you folks with a few of my best hits. 1.3412 0.04071 211 152 46 13
453 Hecklers are welcome to join me onstage. 1.3412 0.04234 211 155 40 16
454 And now, Sonata for Ali. 1.3411 0.04244 214 158 39 17
455 And now for a punchy little number. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
456 And now for some of my boxer shorts. 1.3410 0.04202 217 160 40 17
457 And now, I’ll be playing the hits. 1.3407 0.04506 182 133 36 13
458 My money's on the piano. 1.3406 0.03900 229 165 50 14
459 It says forte. 1.3403 0.03937 238 174 47 17
460 Rocky-maninoff . 1.3402 0.04492 194 144 34 16
461 We now present a medley of "Madame Butterfly" and "Flight of the Bumblebee" as performed by Muhammad Ali. 1.3402 0.04247 194 140 42 12
462 Now, I’d like to hit you with something new! 1.3401 0.04078 197 140 47 10
463 And in the final movement, I take off the gloves and just go wild. 1.3401 0.04384 197 145 37 15
464 For you, Mr. President, very large clumps of only white keys. 1.3400 0.04395 200 148 36 16
465 I play by ear. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
466 This is The Bad-Tempered Clavier 1.3399 0.04567 203 154 29 20
467 My next piece is George Foreman's concerto for pianos with really fat keys. 1.3398 0.04358 206 153 36 17
468 Does anyone else have any criticism? 1.3397 0.04150 209 152 43 14
469 I give you Rockymaninoff. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
470 Would someone be a darling and light my candelabra? 1.3395 0.04227 215 159 39 17
471 This next one, I'll play by ear. 1.3394 0.04031 218 158 46 14
472 Will someone hit the bell? 1.3394 0.04045 221 161 45 15
473 Now I’d like to knock out a little tune for you. 1.3394 0.03994 221 160 47 14
474 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall take a jab at the piano 1.3392 0.03717 227 160 57 10
475 I had to fight for this gig. 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
476 This one's got a great hook. 1.3387 0.04499 186 137 35 14
477 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2,” with all notes performed simultaneously. 1.3385 0.04352 195 143 38 14
478 Another knockout performance. 1.3384 0.04185 198 143 43 12
479 Next up, Theme From Rocky. 1.3384 0.04061 198 141 47 10
480 Opus 12, Round 7 1.3383 0.04319 201 148 38 15
481 And now for "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.3383 0.04202 201 146 42 13
482 I'll play your request, maam, but for future reference it's "*Flight* of the Bumblebee" 1.3382 0.04331 204 151 37 16
483 This tune is dedicated to the President 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
484 I will finish with my own composition, “Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.3382 0.04286 207 153 38 16
485 I fought the song and the song won 1.3380 0.04406 213 161 32 20
486 This next piece is played in twelve rounds. 1.3380 0.04039 213 154 46 13
487 Here’s a little number I recently knocked out. 1.3379 0.04016 219 159 46 14
488 This next piece is gonna knock you out. 1.3377 0.04100 228 169 41 18
489 This next one is a punchy little tune….” 1.3377 0.04100 228 169 41 18
490 And now for something a little punchier... 1.3376 0.03613 237 167 60 10
491 How can I play with that bright light in my eyes? 1.3368 0.04491 190 141 34 15
492 And this one's for Mother, who made me practice... 1.3367 0.04288 199 146 39 14
493 Yes - It's Rocky the Musical 1.3365 0.04214 208 153 40 15
494 Sorry, I only do fight songs. 1.3365 0.03892 211 150 51 10
495 This next number is really going to knock you out. 1.3364 0.03913 214 153 50 11
496 And now a childhood favorite. 1.3364 0.04077 214 156 44 14
497 For my next number I am going to really pound the keys. 1.3364 0.04143 217 160 41 16
498 The next piece is dedicated to my former agent 1.3364 0.03948 220 159 48 13
499 My next piece is Mozart's Piano Concerto 22 in E Flat Major. Unfortunately, you will not recognize it. 1.3363 0.03964 223 162 47 14
500 and now, from the ring cycle... 1.3362 0.04183 232 175 36 21
501 Round 4 will be Chopin 1.3362 0.04010 235 174 43 18
502 This is from my greatest hits album. 1.3352 0.04427 182 133 37 12
503 Did I hear a request for a fight song? 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
504 And now, Eine Kleine Nacht Out Musi 1.3351 0.04422 194 144 35 15
505 I'd like to play you some Rocky-maninoff 1.3350 0.04270 200 147 39 14
506 Next I will play a special piece for Boxing Day. 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
507 And now, J.S. Bach's BAD-Tempered Clavier. 1.3349 0.04208 212 157 39 16
508 I'm warning you coughers, one more sound and the gloves are coming off. 1.3349 0.04261 212 158 37 17
509 That’s the last time I write “OK” to my dyslexic agent. 1.3349 0.04313 212 159 35 18
510 And now a selection from my boxed set. 1.3349 0.04313 212 159 35 18
511 Just hitting a few notes 1.3349 0.04007 215 156 46 13
512 Play chopsticks”? I can’t even hold them 1.3349 0.04127 218 161 41 16
513 Now for a variation from Bach’s Bad-Tempered Clavier. 1.3349 0.03862 218 156 51 11
514 Because I'm tired of wrestling with my muse. 1.3348 0.04098 224 166 41 17
515 The score says attacca con forza. 1.3348 0.04098 224 166 41 17
516 And now, a little something from Punchini. 1.3333 0.04321 204 152 36 16
517 You'll recognize this next piece from my boxed set. 1.3333 0.04092 228 170 40 18
518 That's right, I've been playing the piano with my penis the whole time!" 1.3333 0.04310 219 166 33 20
519 This next piece is by TKO Bach. 1.3333 0.04356 198 147 36 15
520 And now for Philip Glass's ode to Ali. 1.3333 0.04347 213 161 33 19
521 My next composition is played in twelve 3 minute rounds. 1.3333 0.04244 213 159 37 17
522 I shall legato like a butterfly and staccato like a bee.' 1.3333 0.04287 210 157 36 17
523 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B-flat" 1.3333 0.04252 201 148 39 14
524 If Trump can claim he always tells the truth, I can claim the following is a symphony. 1.3333 0.04296 198 146 38 14
525 GGGGGEEEEEEETTTTTT RRRREEEAAAAADDDDY TO RACHMANINOFF!!! 1.3333 0.04084 213 156 43 14
526 You might have heard Chopsticks before, but I’m about to punch it up a little 1.3333 0.04281 195 143 39 13
527 My next piece is played in three minute rounds. 1.3333 0.04521 195 147 31 17
528 This piece calls for more force and less precision. 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
529 And now a little something from the Ring Cycle. 1.3333 0.04098 216 159 42 15
530 And now, the Tyson Variations. 1.3333 0.04208 204 150 40 14
531 For the sake of all of us, let us hope I wake up from this nightmare any time now. 1.3319 0.04131 232 175 37 20
532 My next melody is called Whack-a-Mole 1.3319 0.03969 226 166 45 15
533 Pianist? I thought you asked for a pugilist...! 1.3318 0.04006 223 164 44 15
534 Is there a volunteer to flip the music sheet? 1.3318 0.04056 223 165 42 16
535 Float like Madame Butterfly, sting like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.3318 0.04195 220 165 37 18
536 We've had a request for "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
537 I call this one 'Beethoven's Fifth Round.' 1.3318 0.04014 214 156 45 13
538 This next song is a knockout. 1.3318 0.03959 214 155 47 12
539 I knocked out this piece in just ten minutes. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
540 I will begin with Rhapsody in Ear Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.3318 0.04270 211 158 36 17
541 And now for something modern. 1.3318 0.04216 211 157 38 16
542 This is from my box set. 1.3317 0.04259 208 155 37 16
543 I call it, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.3317 0.03956 205 147 48 10
544 My parole officer wasn’t clear on the type of community services I’d be performing tonight. 1.3317 0.04175 202 148 41 13
545 This piece was composed when Mozart was only two. 1.3317 0.04218 199 146 40 13
546 Any requests, Mister President? 1.3317 0.04395 199 149 34 16
547 I'm just going to knock out a couple of tunes. 1.3316 0.04443 196 147 33 16
548 I now present "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3316 0.04501 196 148 31 17
549 I will now play "An etude for two fists, in three rounds" 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
550 This piano is going down by the second movement. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
551 Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry, I just realized that these are my violin gloves. 1.3316 0.04355 190 140 37 13
552 It’s my reminder to think outside the Bachs. 1.3316 0.04468 187 139 34 14
553 Here's something I pounded out just this morning. 1.3304 0.03870 230 168 48 14
554 Not to worry, folks. It’s a player piano. 1.3304 0.04090 224 167 40 17
555 Piano no problem. Tying bow tie is a totally different challenge. 1.3303 0.04129 221 165 39 17
556 For this next piece, I’ll be taking the gloves off! 1.3303 0.03853 218 157 50 11
557 And now I will play all the keys at the same time. 1.3302 0.04158 215 160 39 16
558 And for my next piece, I'll add a blindfold as well! 1.3302 0.03998 215 157 45 13
559 Here are some of my greatest hits. 1.3302 0.04158 215 160 39 16
560 The music critic said my last performance lacked punch 1.3302 0.04037 212 155 44 13
561 All That Jabz. 1.3301 0.04173 206 152 40 14
562 This is my fight song. 1.3300 0.04318 200 149 36 15
563 Let’s get ready to rrrrubato! 1.3300 0.04318 200 149 36 15
564 For this next number I’d like to punch it up a bit. 1.3299 0.04098 194 140 44 10
565 And now "Flight of the Rhinoceros." 1.3299 0.04472 194 146 32 16
566 This sonata is called, “Yo, Adrian.” 1.3297 0.04484 182 135 34 13
567 And now, a selection of greatest hits. 1.3288 0.04063 222 165 41 16
568 This next tune has quite a punch to it. 1.3288 0.03910 222 162 47 13
569 Next is a punchy little tune I wrote myself... 1.3288 0.03838 219 158 50 11
570 I'm asking you to please keep an open mind. 1.3288 0.03946 219 160 46 13
571 Now I shall play, 'The Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
572 I'd like to dedicate the next song to my ex-wife. Trudy, this one's for you. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
573 And now, for my next cacophony... 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
574 And in this corner, playing in at 185 lbs., ... 1.3285 0.04099 207 152 42 13
575 And how am I supposed to turn the page? 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
576 I call this one, “A Fistful of Keys.” 1.3283 0.04103 198 144 43 11
577 I’m told this next piece is a knockout. 1.3283 0.04404 198 149 33 16
578 You've heard the theme. Now it's time for the variations. 1.3282 0.04511 195 148 30 17
579 _Pass the tip jar and the gloves come off. 1.3282 0.04271 195 144 38 13
580 I composed this next piece when I was two. 1.3281 0.04123 192 139 43 10
581 This is a new piece I've worked out. Beethoven's fifth round. 1.3280 0.04166 189 137 42 10
582 And now, if I may, my rendition of “Hail to the Chief”. 1.3280 0.04852 186 145 21 20
583 I shall toy with him throughout the adagio, then knock him out in the sonata. 1.3276 0.03642 232 166 56 10
584 The next piece is my first composition. I first played it at the age of 6 months. My mother named it "Knock it off". 1.3275 0.03925 229 169 45 15
585 I'd like to play you a little something I wrote when I was two and a half. 1.3275 0.03876 229 168 47 14
586 And now, the Hammerklavier Sonata like it's never been hammered before. 1.3274 0.03895 223 163 47 13
587 Okay Jim, you got this. Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3274 0.03946 223 164 45 14
588 Has anyone seen my mouth guard? 1.3274 0.03895 223 163 47 13
589 Next I'll perform a few classical hits. 1.3273 0.03931 220 161 46 13
590 I'll begin our evening of Wagner with 15 rounds in The Ring. 1.3271 0.03950 214 156 46 12
591 And here's a little something that I knocked out this afternoon... 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
592 I will now float like a butterfly and sting in B. 1.3270 0.04261 211 159 35 17
593 This is by Liszton. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
594 For tonight's encore, I am pleased to present to you 'Fight of the Bumblebee' 1.3269 0.03967 208 151 46 11
595 And now for a punchy little tune... 1.3269 0.04083 208 153 42 13
596 I'd like to dedicate this encore to my parents, who forced me to play piano, when I would have preferred then, as now, to be doing something else. 1.3269 0.04304 208 157 34 17
597 This next piece is from Beethoven's welterweight period. 1.3267 0.04106 202 148 42 12
598 I will next perform Rachmaninoff's piano concerto No. 2, in the key of B-flat, A-flat and D-sharp. 1.3267 0.04339 202 152 34 16
599 The next piece is scheduled to go four rounds. 1.3266 0.04023 199 144 45 10
600 I will now play "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3264 0.04170 193 141 41 11
601 This is from Beethoven's fist. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
602 Yo, Adrian--this sonata's for you. 1.3264 0.03945 239 179 42 18
603 Here's a mashup I call "Eine kleine Nacht-out-musik." 1.3263 0.04280 190 140 38 12
604 And for my next round... 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
605 I call this next piece 'Losing a Bet' 1.3261 0.04638 184 140 28 16
606 You're in for a knockout performance tonight. 1.3260 0.03795 227 165 50 12
607 Let's knock out some tunes! 1.3260 0.04043 227 170 40 17
608 Who clapped? 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
609 And now for Beethoven's Ninth Round. 1.3255 0.03914 212 154 47 11
610 I call it my Concerto in 10 Rounds. 1.3255 0.04082 212 157 41 14
611 And now the theme music from 'ROCKY' the way it was meant to be heard. 1.3254 0.04122 209 155 40 14
612 That last Christmas concerto was by Rachmaninoff. And a now a little something for Boxing Day. 1.3252 0.04331 206 156 33 17
613 It’s hammer time! 1.3251 0.04320 203 153 34 16
614 And now for "The Ill-Tempered Clavier". 1.3251 0.04264 203 152 36 15
615 I need another page-turner. 1.3250 0.04423 200 152 31 17
616 I am practicing for the White House New Year’s party. 1.3250 0.04130 200 147 41 12
617 The next piece is my own take on "Chopsticks" -- I call it "Logs." 1.3250 0.03943 200 144 47 9
618 And now for the main event. Brahm's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.3250 0.04006 200 145 45 10
619 I thought the conductor said he wanted a little more punch? 1.3249 0.03981 197 142 46 9
620 A little help please. My fly is open. 1.3249 0.04110 197 144 42 11
621 And now, I will play the theme from Rocky as it was originally composed. 1.3248 0.03717 234 170 52 12
622 At your request: Tyson's "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
623 Tonight’s bout will be a twelve rondo. 1.3245 0.04104 188 136 43 9
624 I'd like to start with the second movement, third round. 1.3243 0.03741 222 160 52 10
625 Let’s get ready to pianooooooooooooooo 1.3242 0.03989 219 162 43 14
626 And now, my Muhammad Ali concerto in, well, every key at once. 1.3242 0.04144 219 165 37 17
627 Let me just knock out a couple of tunes for you. 1.3241 0.03692 216 154 54 8
628 Mesdames et Messieurs, la sonate pour Donald Trump. 1.3239 0.04120 213 159 39 15
629 I guess it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3239 0.04120 213 159 39 15
630 All a song needs is a good hook. 1.3238 0.04215 210 158 36 16
631 This Will Be A Knockout Performance 1.3238 0.03697 210 149 54 7
632 Tonight I'll begin with the Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
633 The next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife who said I wasn't masculine enough. 1.3238 0.04161 210 157 38 15
634 A man hears what he wants to hear And disregards the rest 1.3237 0.03914 207 150 47 10
635 I no longer play by ear. 1.3235 0.04130 204 151 40 13
636 If you think this is bad, I'm also not wearing any pants. 1.3235 0.04188 204 152 38 14
637 Any requests for "Fight of the Bumblebee?" 1.3235 0.03889 204 147 48 9
638 I will now play something by Rocky Maninoff. 1.3234 0.04290 201 151 35 15
639 This is a punchy little tune... 1.3234 0.04112 201 148 41 12
640 I 'm sure they said I was to take on Wagner in the ring. 1.3232 0.04215 198 147 38 13
641 Next - Michael Jackson's "Beat It" 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
642 I pity the fugue! 1.3232 0.04215 198 147 38 13
643 I must warn you in advance about the crescendo. 1.3231 0.03817 229 168 48 13
644 And now ladies and gentleman “ The Trump Sonata.” 1.3231 0.04200 229 176 32 21
645 And to my critics, a sustained beating in D minor." 1.3231 0.04260 195 145 37 13
646 I've been fighting Beethoven all my life. 1.3230 0.04001 226 169 41 16
647 Now I will pummel the ivories. 1.3230 0.03748 226 164 51 11
648 And for my next selection. "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3230 0.03851 226 166 47 13
649 Ohh, Bach? I thought you said "box". 1.3229 0.03976 192 138 46 8
650 I'm not the main event. 1.3229 0.03937 223 165 44 14
651 Did you say "boxer" or "Bach, Sir"?? 1.3229 0.04088 223 168 38 17
652 I thought you said play "box"' not play "Bach's"! 1.3228 0.04542 189 144 29 16
653 Observe, ladies and gentlemen, as I put the 'K.O.' back in Tchaikovsky. 1.3227 0.04026 220 164 41 15
654 Some people said my hands were too small to play piano. Not true. I'm a very good player. Nobody better than me at piano... 1.3224 0.04050 214 159 41 14
655 Once more, with feeling 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
656 Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest. 1.3223 0.03803 211 152 50 9
657 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, a medley of my greatest hits. 1.3222 0.04068 180 129 44 7
658 And now a lullabye 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
659 I'm now going to play 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' " 1.3221 0.04015 208 153 43 12
660 And now, a quick jab at Rachmaninoff. 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
661 I thought you said Box Prelude and Fugue. 1.3220 0.04284 205 155 34 16
662 In honor of our times I'm playing dischords. 1.3218 0.04155 202 150 39 13
663 The music was lovely, but the pianist was a bit heavy-handed. 1.3218 0.04329 202 153 33 16
664 You want me to come in one measure after the bell, right? 1.3217 0.03803 230 169 48 13
665 Alright, the next time someone throws a tomato, the gloves are coming off. 1.3216 0.04136 199 147 40 12
666 You might be surprised by how subtle and intricate this piece is. 1.3216 0.04075 199 146 42 11
667 And now let me punch out a tune. 1.3216 0.04197 199 148 38 13
668 He was told tickling the ivory is no longer workplace appropriate. 1.3216 0.04012 199 145 44 10
669 And now, a roundhouse from T.K.O. Bach. 1.3216 0.04083 227 172 37 18
670 Most players “tickle” , I choose to pummel. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
671 This next song is a round. 1.3214 0.03923 224 166 44 14
672 I’ll now do my last hit 1.3214 0.04023 224 168 40 16
673 ...and now, "The Black and Blue Danube". 1.3213 0.04061 221 166 39 16
674 I call this next piece, "Pounding Headache". 1.3211 0.04100 218 164 38 16
675 How better to pound the ivories? 1.3211 0.04202 190 140 39 11
676 Next, one of the biggest hits of Rocky Moninoff. 1.3211 0.04136 190 139 41 10
677 I really don't think it's been properly tuned 1.3209 0.03754 215 155 51 9
678 Next I will be performing Rimsky-Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumblebee" in the style of Muhammad Ali. 1.3209 0.03979 215 159 43 13
679 And I'm wearing flippers. 1.3209 0.03979 215 159 43 13
680 Welcome to the Van Cliburn/Mike Tyson piano competition. 1.3208 0.04127 212 159 38 15
681 Now, an atonal piece. 1.3208 0.04072 212 158 40 14
682 Mendelssohn, Mozart, or Marciano? 1.3208 0.04181 212 160 36 16
683 The good thing is I finally stopped chewing my nails 1.3208 0.04127 212 159 38 15
684 This next one is going to be a round. 1.3206 0.03941 209 153 45 11
685 And now Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata...molto pugilissimo! 1.3206 0.04112 209 156 39 14
686 I"ll start with one of my greatest hits. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
687 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly" in B Minor. 1.3204 0.04154 206 154 38 14
688 A pugilistic concerto in B flat. Round one. 1.3204 0.03979 206 151 44 11
689 This rendition will really knock you out. 1.3204 0.03979 206 151 44 11
690 Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm going to pound out a few numbers for you tonight. 1.3202 0.03956 203 148 45 10
691 I'm going to pound one out, now. 1.3202 0.04137 203 151 39 13
692 Anyone else want to face the music? 1.3200 0.04298 200 151 34 15
693 And for my final number, I present Concerto: The Thrilla in Manila, Round 4, in B flat 1.3198 0.03620 222 159 55 8
694 Now I’ll play for you a medley of hits. 1.3198 0.04145 222 169 35 18
695 I'll be going fifteen rondos. 1.3198 0.04223 197 147 37 13
696 Shall I hit it? 1.3196 0.04084 219 165 38 16
697 And now, the lovely Sonata in G-flat, composed by Michael Tyson 1.3196 0.04075 194 142 42 10
698 A brief pause while I respond to a recent review. 1.3194 0.04123 216 163 37 16
699 How about a fight song? 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
700 My next number is a knock out. 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
701 Tonight folks, I'm just going to knock out a little tune. . . 1.3194 0.04313 191 143 35 13
702 Next I'll play a John Cage adaption of the theme from the movie "Rocky". 1.3194 0.04313 191 143 35 13
703 OK, I get it, a little less forte. 1.3192 0.03945 213 157 44 12
704 And now, a collection of my greatest hits. 1.3192 0.04110 213 160 38 15
705 Next, I shall perform George Foreman's Symphony in A Minor 1.3192 0.04110 213 160 38 15
706 Paganini's Pugilisto In D Minor 1.3191 0.04091 188 137 42 9
707 And for my last number this evening, I'll be performing, "Rhapsody in Black And Blue." 1.3188 0.04021 207 153 42 12
708 I love playing Beethoven's 'Hammerklavier Sonata' 1.3188 0.03903 207 151 46 10
709 Well, this is unique. In the last one I was naked! 1.3188 0.04021 207 153 42 12
710 Well, this is going to be rocky. 1.3188 0.04005 229 173 39 17
711 And now, selections from "The Ring Cycle." 1.3186 0.04001 204 150 43 11
712 There will be no heckling tonight. 1.3186 0.04001 204 150 43 11
713 If I hear one more person request "Piano Man'", these gloves are coming off. 1.3186 0.04061 204 151 41 12
714 Brad was asked to knock out a tune. 1.3186 0.04235 204 154 35 15
715 And now, for your enjoyment....The Ring Cycle. 1.3184 0.04450 201 155 28 18
716 I can knock out any tune you name 1.3184 0.03978 201 147 44 10
717 This number will be a knockout! 1.3184 0.03774 245 183 46 16
718 And now, if you don't mind, I'd like to knock out a little Chopin. 1.3180 0.03948 217 161 43 13
719 I call this piece “Sonata for an Untuned Piano in A-flat minor through G major.” 1.3178 0.04040 214 160 40 14
720 Thank you to the White House Correspondents' Association for inviting me to perform at this year's Correspondents' Dinner. 1.3177 0.04230 192 143 37 12
721 I think I'm on the wrong stage. 1.3176 0.03662 233 170 52 11
722 Ladies and Gentlemen,'Beethoven's 5th Round'" 1.3175 0.04023 211 157 41 13
723 Now, 'The Tyson Variations.' 1.3175 0.04188 211 160 35 16
724 The record shows I took the blows And did it my way 1.3173 0.04230 208 158 34 16
725 This is it. This is the nightmare. 1.3172 0.04169 227 175 32 20
726 I call this "The Old One-Two." 1.3172 0.03828 227 168 46 13
727 NOW,CLAIR DI LUNE AS YOUVE NEVER HEARD IT PLAYED BEFORE. 1.3172 0.04026 227 172 38 17
728 Well, you said to make it more punchy! 1.3171 0.03800 205 148 49 8
729 Oh, 'boo' yourself! Let's see you try it! 1.3171 0.04103 205 153 39 13
730 And now a tune by Henry “Boom Boom” Mancini. 1.3168 0.04144 202 151 38 13
731 I guess I can try to knock out some tunes! 1.3168 0.04084 202 150 40 12
732 You want pianissimo? I'll give you pianissimo! 1.3167 0.03949 221 165 42 14
733 Folks, please remember, I am a professional. Do not try this at home. 1.3167 0.03897 221 164 44 13
734 So I promised the composer not to pull any punches. 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
735 Sir, I submit that you would not know a fugue if it hit you in the face. 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
736 Next, the World Premiere of "Get Your Ass Out of Bed!" composed this afternoon by my very own wife. 1.3161 0.04275 193 145 35 13
737 Ladies and gentleman, I will now play for you, "The Ill-Tempered Clavier" 1.3160 0.04171 212 161 35 16
738 My next piece is by Rocky Marcianinoff 1.3160 0.04117 212 160 37 15
739 Knock out a tune? 1.3160 0.04117 212 160 37 15
740 This next piece I call "The old one-two" 1.3158 0.03989 209 155 42 12
741 To anyone who didn't immediately recognize it, that was Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto in B-flat Minor. 1.3156 0.03949 225 169 41 15
742 This might sound a little rocky. 1.3155 0.04086 206 154 39 13
743 And now, a rarely-performed work by an obscure composer ... 1.3155 0.04027 206 153 41 12
744 Does anyone else care to complain about my playing? 1.3155 0.04200 206 156 35 15
745 Rondo Two! 1.3155 0.04167 187 138 39 10
746 . . and I've taken the liberty of consolidating all individual notes so as to not offend the listener who might be sensitive to borrowed folk melodies of identifiable ethnicity. 1.3155 0.04235 187 139 37 11
747 And now for something a little more punchy. 1.3153 0.03775 222 163 48 11
748 I would like to now play a piece by Rocky Maninoff. 1.3153 0.03934 222 166 42 14
749 I felt this tune needed some punch! 1.3153 0.04067 203 151 40 12
750 This should be a lot better than my piccolo playing. 1.3152 0.04211 184 136 38 10
751 This next piece was composed by my cat, Barnabas. 1.3152 0.04550 184 141 28 15
752 You said you wanted a fight song. 1.3151 0.03798 238 178 45 15
753 Look, I was told to pound the keys, and that's what I came here to do. 1.3151 0.03809 219 161 47 11
754 My teacher said it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3150 0.04228 200 151 35 14
755 Next, a tune I composed in tribute to Muhammed Ali, Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3147 0.04212 197 148 36 13
756 This piece is dedicated to those that did not like my previous one 1.3146 0.04046 213 160 39 14
757 I will now go a couple of rounds with Shostakovich 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
758 I'm going to play some Johann Sebastian Box 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
759 I will now play something from my boxed set. 1.3144 0.04193 194 145 37 12
760 It just looks hard. 1.3143 0.04085 210 158 38 14
761 And now one of Schönberg's more challenging pieces... 1.3140 0.04401 207 161 27 19
762 Rough crowd tonight 1.3140 0.04011 207 154 41 12
763 I've never butchered a tune in my life. Bruised one, occasionally. 1.3140 0.03707 207 149 51 7
764 And now, for Tyson's 5th... 1.3136 0.04109 220 168 35 17
765 I will now play an original piece by Frederic Chopin that he played in 1850 when he was 7 month old. 1.3134 0.04200 217 167 32 18
766 Next, Variations on a Theme by Pugilisti. 1.3134 0.04045 217 164 38 15
767 Yeah, but I don't get any more hecklers. 1.3134 0.03938 217 162 42 13
768 Playing isn't the problem, who's going to help me if I need to use the bathroom? 1.3134 0.04200 217 167 32 18
769 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a song about my marriage. 1.3132 0.04378 182 137 33 12
770 They call me Johann Sebastian Box. 1.3131 0.03876 198 144 46 8
771 And for my next selection....Cacaphony in G-major. 1.3131 0.04030 214 161 39 14
772 Instead of tickling the ivories,tonight I'll be beating them. 1.3131 0.04084 214 162 37 15
773 For my next piece,I will perform J. S. Box' Golden Glove Variations 1.3131 0.04030 214 161 39 14
774 And now, for the second round... 1.3130 0.03735 230 170 48 12
775 When was the last time this piano was tuned? 1.3128 0.04069 211 159 38 14
776 Please be quiet, or I’ll take the gloves off 1.3128 0.03919 227 171 41 15
777 Go ahead,ask me if I'll play Misty for you. 1.3125 0.04332 176 131 35 10
778 I’m going to pound out a tune for you. 1.3125 0.04052 208 156 39 13
779 And now Concerto No. 2 by Rocky Maninoff . 1.3125 0.04469 192 148 28 16
780 Trying to knock out a few tunes 1.3125 0.03747 224 165 48 11
781 I just had a manicure. 1.3122 0.03991 221 167 39 15
782 This next piece is a total knock-out. 1.3122 0.03887 221 165 43 13
783 If I hear one more phone ring, someone is getting knocked out! 1.3122 0.04033 205 153 40 12
784 And now, the theme song to 'Rocky' 1.3122 0.04092 205 154 38 13
785 This next one is Beethoven's fists 1.3122 0.04581 189 147 25 17
786 And now, here's one for you lovers of polytonality.... 1.3119 0.03976 218 164 40 14
787 And now, the Sonata in Me Minor, by D. J. Trump. 1.3119 0.04234 218 169 30 19
788 The conductor said my fortissimo needs a bit more punch. 1.3119 0.03950 202 149 43 10
789 And now, a more punchy tune. 1.3119 0.04012 202 150 41 11
790 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fight of the Bumble bee 1.3119 0.04192 202 153 35 14
791 ...and for my next number, I would like to punch it up a bit. 1.3119 0.03692 202 145 51 6
792 This next piece will be very hit and miss 1.3117 0.03721 231 171 48 12
793 I will now play The Minute Waltz in ten seconds. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
794 During the prestissimo the gloves come off. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
795 I can only play the 'dun dun dun dun' part. 1.3116 0.03848 215 159 45 11
796 This next piece is rather punchy, but softly incorporates many, many notes close to one another. 1.3116 0.04014 215 162 39 14
797 And now...."Flight of the Butterfly/Sting like a B flat." 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
798 I took a piano to the zoo to see if elephants could compose as well as paint. This is what they wrote. 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
799 And now I’d like to belt out a little tune. 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
800 And now, a new piece by John Cage... 1.3116 0.04469 199 155 26 18
801 Tonight I'll be performing Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". You may need to use your imagination. 1.3112 0.04156 196 147 37 12
802 How do you expect me to play without sheet music? 1.3110 0.03677 209 151 51 7
803 This next one's an opus in ten rounds. 1.3110 0.03920 209 155 43 11
804 And now, something from the light heavyweight classics. 1.3107 0.03773 206 150 48 8
805 I will now perform Round 3. 1.3107 0.03710 206 149 50 7
806 And now for a number with a little more punch... 1.3107 0.03835 206 151 46 9
807 I’ve seen my fair share of piano bar fights. 1.3105 0.03799 219 162 46 11
808 Didn’t you ask me to bang out a tune” 1.3103 0.04115 203 153 37 13
809 They told me to come up with a punchy number. 1.3103 0.04115 203 153 37 13
810 A concerto for neither left nor right hand. 1.3103 0.04056 203 152 39 12
811 Tonight, I thought we'd start off with a little Philip Glass 1.3103 0.04174 203 154 35 14
812 I'll knock out this Beethoven in the Fifth." 1.3102 0.04208 216 167 31 18
813 Tonight the ivories have begged not to be tickled. 1.3102 0.04051 216 164 37 15
814 I bite my nails. 1.3102 0.03998 216 163 39 14
815 This is a piece I just knocked off. 1.3102 0.03601 216 156 53 7
816 A piece titled, "The Next Election 1.3102 0.04104 216 165 35 16
817 I will now pound out my favorite Soussa march. 1.3102 0.03833 216 160 45 11
818 This next piece is another punchy little number. 1.3100 0.03972 200 148 42 10
819 Now I will play the theme from the movie Rocky. 1.3100 0.04217 200 152 34 14
820 And now for Eine kleine Knockout Musik. 1.3100 0.03777 200 145 48 7
821 And now, Paul Simon's "The Boxer" 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
822 This next piece packs quite a punch 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
823 Is my tie crooked? 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
824 This next piece may sound a little dissonant.... 1.3099 0.03810 213 157 46 10
825 This next piece is a real knock out. 1.3098 0.04127 184 136 39 9
826 And now it’s “time to take the gloves off” 1.3095 0.03904 210 156 43 11
827 This next number is a knockout. It packs quite a punch. 1.3094 0.04011 223 170 37 16
828 For my next piece, I will explore the roots of the piano as a percussion instrument. 1.3093 0.04181 194 146 36 12
829 The next number is a real hit song. 1.3092 0.04172 207 158 34 15
830 This is ridiculous. How do you possibly expect me to play the piano without my mouthpiece? 1.3092 0.03941 207 154 42 11
831 That coulda been a concerto. 1.3091 0.04150 220 170 32 18
832 My Dad wanted me to box, and Mom wanted me to play the piano. 1.3091 0.03945 220 166 40 14
833 Trump asked me to do the musical score for the "Chuck & Nancy" meeting. 1.3088 0.04098 204 154 37 13
834 Next, I will play with one hand tied behind my back. 1.3088 0.04214 204 156 33 15
835 They made me give up the harp. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
836 Brahms? A minor punch. Rachmaninov, fell flat. But Beethoven? Kills in the fifth. 1.3088 0.04035 217 165 37 15
837 For my encore, I will play a little-known piece by George Gershwin and Joe Louis. 1.3088 0.03873 217 162 43 12
838 Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3088 0.03928 217 163 41 13
839 My next selection will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.3087 0.03875 230 174 41 15
840 My next piece is entitled "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3087 0.03826 230 173 43 14
841 Now, the punchier rendition . 1.3085 0.04017 201 150 40 11
842 it’s really more about my creative approach and not the actual notes 1.3084 0.03795 214 158 46 10
843 My next number will be in the key of E, G, and C. 1.3084 0.04232 214 166 30 18
844 If I hear a cell-phone ring, watch out! 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
845 And now I will perform "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3081 0.03929 198 146 43 9
846 Ladies and gentlemen, I plan to do more than just "tickle the ivories." 1.3081 0.03929 198 146 43 9
847 I’ll be knocking out songs all night. 1.3080 0.03737 224 166 47 11
848 I will now play the Theme from Rocky...badly. 1.3080 0.03894 224 169 41 14
849 Here’s an old standard I’d like to pound out for you 1.3077 0.03900 195 143 44 8
850 I coulda been a concerto. 1.3077 0.03823 221 165 44 12
851 The full boxed set will be available after the performance. 1.3077 0.03877 221 166 42 13
852 This is a concerto composed by my 2-year old. 1.3074 0.03762 231 173 45 13
853 And now, a fugue by T.K.O. Bach. 1.3073 0.04071 218 167 35 16
854 And now, "The Pugilist's Sonata," in a bunch of keys. 1.3073 0.04022 205 154 39 12
855 Evening, folks. I'm gonna knock out a few tunes for ya. 1.3073 0.03712 205 149 49 7
856 I shall now perform Beethoven's 10th Round Piano Concerto. 1.3073 0.04196 205 157 33 15
857 And now, for my last number I will play the title song on my new album Trump Year 2. 1.3073 0.04270 192 146 33 13
858 This is not going to be easy. 1.3073 0.03868 192 140 45 7
859 This combines the artistry of Joe Louis and Louis Armstrong. 1.3073 0.04141 192 144 37 11
860 Ladies and gentlemen, let me knock out a little number for you. 1.3071 0.03655 241 180 48 13
861 Tickling got me nowhere. 1.3070 0.03993 228 175 36 17
862 Well, at least it's not the late and naked for the final exam dream. 1.3070 0.04215 215 167 30 18
863 Tonight we present dueling pianos... 1.3070 0.04111 215 165 34 16
864 I call this next number "The Critic's Face". 1.3069 0.04181 202 154 34 14
865 A method pianist prepares to play the score of Rocky. 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
866 I will now play selections from my boxed set. 1.3069 0.04316 189 144 32 13
867 I'd like to begin with a little warm up exercise. 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
868 "This next one's gonna be a knockout." 1.3066 0.04204 212 164 31 17
869 The next one is going to be a hit. 1.3066 0.04097 212 162 35 15
870 I'll start on the count of three and stop on the count of ten. 1.3066 0.03814 212 157 45 10
871 And now for a little not music. 1.3066 0.03872 212 158 43 11
872 For my encore, I will now play 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3066 0.04151 212 163 33 16
873 And now, Rockymaninoff piano concerto 3. 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
874 And now, with your kind indulgence, I'll change the mood a bit. 1.3065 0.04159 186 139 37 10
875 Now for my unique rendition of "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.3062 0.04137 209 160 34 15
876 And now ... Symphony No. 7 in C, D, and E Major. 1.3062 0.04247 209 162 30 17
877 This next number is a round. 1.3060 0.03846 232 176 41 15
878 Thank you, that was "Chopsticks." And now, "Chopsticks." 1.3059 0.03950 219 166 39 14
879 They call him the Manassa Mahler 1.3059 0.04106 219 169 33 17
880 I’m told I have a very aggressive playing style 1.3059 0.03501 219 158 55 6
881 My next number will be the "old one two." 1.3058 0.03761 206 151 47 8
882 And now, by request, "Theme from Rocky." Again. 1.3058 0.04064 206 156 37 13
883 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now perform for you Ali's concerto in the keys of A,B,C , D and E. 1.3058 0.03823 206 152 45 9
884 And now, a rarely heard Boxing Day carol. 1.3057 0.04251 193 147 33 13
885 Looks like I’m gonna have to go with the Philip Glass, not the Debussy. 1.3057 0.04187 193 146 35 12
886 And my next song is sure to be a hit! 1.3056 0.04094 216 166 34 16
887 It was at this moment he realized delivering a knockout performance did not require boxing gloves. 1.3056 0.03878 216 162 42 12
888 Flight of the Bumble Bee is out of the question. Any other requests?... 1.3056 0.03589 216 157 52 7
889 My next composition is a punchy little number. 1.3056 0.03765 216 160 46 10
890 They're required by my insurance company. 1.3054 0.03983 203 152 40 11
891 Next I will perform, Fight of the Bumblebee 1.3054 0.04163 203 155 34 14
892 Today I shall be playing 'Concussion in fist major' 1.3053 0.03965 226 173 37 16
893 This next work is entitled “Symphony in Three Rounds.” 1.3052 0.03857 213 159 43 11
894 Here's a little tune I recently knocked out. 1.3052 0.03914 213 160 41 12
895 For this number, I float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat major. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
896 Tonight I’ll be going a few rounds with Beethoven 1.3050 0.03697 200 145 49 6
897 Unlike Phillip Glass, I’m a maximist. I hit as many keys as I can at once. 1.3050 0.04145 200 152 35 13
898 And it goes something like this. 1.3050 0.04323 200 155 29 16
899 For this Inaugural Dance, I will now play I Did It My Way. 1.3048 0.03892 210 157 42 11
900 I'll knock out a quick tune. 1.3048 0.03950 210 158 40 12
901 And now for some Phillip Glass. 1.3048 0.04064 210 160 36 14
902 No, but I can hum a few bars. 1.3047 0.04066 233 182 31 20
903 And now for my final round... 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
904 Pianissimo like a butterfly, fortissimo like a bee. 1.3045 0.03987 220 168 37 15
905 And now Bach’s Golden Glove Variations. 1.3043 0.04104 207 158 35 14
906 This next piece I call, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bee-thoven." 1.3043 0.04047 207 157 37 13
907 Who said I play with a heavy hand​? 1.3043 0.03988 207 156 39 12
908 No, Dad. I told you before: I want to play piano. 1.3041 0.03807 217 162 44 11
909 I am also Blind! 1.3041 0.03862 217 163 42 12
910 And now, an eight-count piece by Mauler 1.3041 0.04295 194 149 31 14
911 And now for my box set..... 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
912 Now, I shall bang out a tune. 1.3040 0.03900 227 173 39 15
913 Ever feel like you've got the wrong job? 1.3039 0.04145 204 156 34 14
914 Here’s a punchy little number. 1.3039 0.03967 204 153 40 11
915 Any more requests? I could pound out tunes all night. 1.3037 0.03784 214 159 45 10
916 I shall now play my interpretation of Beethoven’s Hammerklavier sonata. 1.3037 0.04274 214 168 27 19
917 I'm gonna add a little punch to this one 1.3037 0.04341 191 147 30 14
918 And now, especially for those of you out there with the drooping eyelids and the nodding heads, here is a little wake-up number! 1.3037 0.04011 191 142 40 9
919 Now here's one from a real heavyweight. 1.3036 0.03726 224 167 46 11
920 Not often performed,this is young Mozart’s very,very, first piece. 1.3036 0.03986 224 172 36 16
921 Next comes a number that only a two-year-old will appreciate. 1.3035 0.04067 201 152 37 12
922 and now, Beethoven's Fist Symphony in C Minor... 1.3035 0.04128 201 153 35 13
923 And now... “Make America Great Again!” 1.3035 0.04187 201 154 33 14
924 There is no punch line! 1.3034 0.03620 234 174 49 11
925 And now, Balboa's variations on "Eine Kleine Knock-musik" 1.3033 0.03991 211 160 38 13
926 My next piece is by Johann Sebastian Boxer. 1.3033 0.03709 244 185 44 15
927 And now, the Dempsey Sonata 1.3032 0.04257 188 143 33 12
928 I first learned my next number from my three year old. 1.3032 0.03867 221 167 41 13
929 I just got tired of tickling the ivories... 1.3030 0.03783 198 145 46 7
930 And now, I will batter the ivories. 1.3030 0.04108 198 150 36 12
931 I'm sure you'll all recognise my next song, it has a ring to it. 1.3030 0.04170 198 151 34 13
932 Let's get ready to Pianooo! 1.3029 0.03972 208 157 39 12
933 And now, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.3028 0.03902 218 165 40 13
934 I’m going to knock out some tunes for you tonight. 1.3028 0.03792 218 163 44 11
935 I would ask that you suspend disbelief 1.3027 0.04165 185 139 36 10
936 I call this one, 'Fight of the Bumblebees'. 1.3026 0.03885 228 174 39 15
937 I will now play 12 rounds of Chopin. 1.3026 0.03574 228 168 51 9
938 For my next selection I will play "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.3026 0.04337 195 151 29 15
939 And now, my rendition of Mike Tyson's 'From Ear to Eternity'. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
940 And now , I coulda been somebody concerto in A minor. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
941 Any requests before I start pounding on the keys? 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
942 Who tuned this? 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
943 My next piece is by the lesser known Johan Sebastian Box 1.3022 0.03765 225 169 44 12
944 Crazy? Maybe. But you won't forget me. 1.3021 0.03993 192 143 40 9
945 No, this is NOT to compensate for small hands. 1.3020 0.04049 202 153 37 12
946 I'm really gonna pound this one out! 1.3020 0.04228 202 156 31 15
947 Look mom, no hands 1.3018 0.03689 222 165 47 10
948 First movement, round three. 1.3015 0.04090 199 151 36 12
949 And now, a literal rendition of Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Boxer." 1.3015 0.04272 199 154 30 15
950 I lost a bet. 1.3015 0.04090 199 151 36 12
951 Please excuse the gloves, I'm saving my fingers for a more sophisticated audience 1.3014 0.03955 209 158 39 12
952 Next: 'Rhapsody In Back And Blue'. 1.3013 0.03719 229 172 45 12
953 Forte like a butterfly, staccato like a bee. 1.3013 0.03820 229 174 41 14
954 I'm going to play Erik Satie's Aperçus désagréables for two gloved hands. 1.3013 0.03710 239 181 44 14
955 Welcome to Mixed Musical Arts. 1.3011 0.04003 186 138 40 8
956 This year, instead of Christmas music, I will play a couple of Boxing Day pieces. 1.3010 0.03933 206 155 40 11
957 Let's get ready to Handel 1.3010 0.03933 206 155 40 11
958 Hey, it's flu season. 1.3009 0.03867 216 163 41 12
959 And, for the final match, it’s me against Steinway. 1.3005 0.04043 193 145 38 10
960 Who coughed? 1.3005 0.04267 203 158 29 16
961 And now my original composition, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B Minor.’ 1.3005 0.04069 213 164 34 15
962 I’m all thumbs tonight. 1.3005 0.03845 213 160 42 11
963 For an encore I will play Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata. 1.3005 0.03668 213 157 48 8
964 I got tired of just tickling the ivories! 1.3005 0.03787 213 159 44 10
965 And now, my interpretation of Wagner's "The Ring." 1.3004 0.03730 223 167 45 11
966 I will now play "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.3004 0.03730 223 167 45 11
967 Time to break in the new piano 1.3004 0.03620 223 165 49 9
968 And for my second piece I will also be wearing handcuffs. 1.3000 0.03883 200 149 42 9
969 Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's piece is a real knock-out. 1.3000 0.03883 200 149 42 9
970 If you don't quiet down, your nose is going to B-flat. 1.3000 0.04010 200 151 38 11
971 This next song, is a total knock-out! 1.3000 0.04015 190 142 39 9
972 Potential hecklers should take note... 1.3000 0.03762 210 156 45 9
973 I couldn't find Madison Square Garden 1.3000 0.03802 190 139 45 6
974 The first movement is to be played ‘molto aggressivo.’ 1.3000 0.03881 210 158 41 11
975 I will now perform Mozart's first sonata, which he composed at the age of 16 months. 1.3000 0.03996 210 160 37 13
976 I'd like to play a punchy little number. 1.3000 0.04109 210 162 33 15
977 This is a medley of my greatest hits, 1.2995 0.03961 217 166 37 14
978 I will now play 'Temper Tantrum in C Minor'. 1.2995 0.03796 207 154 44 9
979 Next, I will perform 'Rhapsody in Black and Blue' by Deontay Wilde 1.2995 0.04035 207 158 36 13
980 Good evening folks....Thought I'd belt out a tune for you. 1.2995 0.03574 197 142 51 4
981 The Pugilist's Waltz 1.2995 0.04056 187 140 38 9
982 Welcome to our First Annual Boxing Day Concert! 1.2995 0.04056 187 140 38 9
983 Following this encore, I would like a word with the reviewer who has called my playing ham-fisted. 1.2990 0.03954 204 154 39 11
984 And now I will play, "The Fight of the Bumblebee " 1.2990 0.03954 204 154 39 11
985 This next piece is atonal. 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
986 And it goes a little bit like this... 1.2990 0.04025 194 146 38 10
987 Hey, I can knock out a tune with the best of them 1.2989 0.04170 184 139 35 10
988 And now, ladies and gentlemen, Chopin and I will duke it out. 1.2989 0.04098 184 138 37 9
989 I like to punch out a tune for you. 1.2986 0.03746 211 157 45 9
990 'The Boxer by Paul Simon." 1.2986 0.03923 211 160 39 12
991 All I’m asking is that you give me a fighting chance. 1.2986 0.03865 211 159 41 11
992 And now, my rendition of the theme song from "Rocky". 1.2985 0.04116 201 154 34 13
993 And for those of you who think playing piano is for sissies... 1.2985 0.03735 201 148 46 7
994 For my next attempt I will fight my way through Rachmaninoff's 3rd. 1.2982 0.03875 228 175 38 15
995 Tickling the ivories, has never been my forte. 1.2982 0.03667 218 162 47 9
996 My next number will be The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2982 0.03945 218 167 37 14
997 Unfortunately, the necessity of dealing with hecklers has placed certain…constraints…on my artistry. 1.2981 0.04188 208 162 30 16
998 I call this piece 'Bach-xing.' 1.2981 0.03841 208 156 42 10
999 Tickling the ivories is not enough for me. 1.2981 0.03780 208 155 44 9
1000 Any fight song requests? 1.2981 0.03841 208 156 42 10
1001 And now a punchy tune 1.2980 0.03968 198 149 39 10
1002 Doesn’t”matter now if it’s tuned or not. 1.2980 0.04219 198 153 31 14
1003 I had to fight my way to the top. 1.2979 0.03841 235 181 38 16
1004 That was a knockout performance 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
1005 My next piece is by Rockymaninoff." 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
1006 This next piece is a technical knockout. 1.2977 0.03640 215 159 48 8
1007 I’m just going to knock-out this new piece for you. 1.2977 0.03871 215 163 40 12
1008 The following selection will be played in B-flatten. 1.2977 0.03927 215 164 38 13
1009 Tell the conductor I'm ready to punch it up a little. 1.2977 0.03871 215 163 40 12
1010 This next number will be a real knockout. 1.2976 0.03877 205 154 41 10
1011 Ravel's Piano Concerto for the Left Hand in D major,the hard way. 1.2976 0.04057 205 157 35 13
1012 No, they're not for playing. They're for dealing with anyone who criticizes the playing. 1.2974 0.03873 195 145 42 8
1013 Any last requests? 1.2974 0.04137 195 149 34 12
1014 I was told to take a dive in the third cadenza. 1.2974 0.03734 195 143 46 6
1015 And now, a special request from my piano professor. 1.2972 0.04020 212 163 35 14
1016 This next tune was popular during The Boxer Rebellion. 1.2972 0.03609 212 156 49 7
1017 I call this next one 'Beethoven's Fists.' 1.2972 0.03907 212 161 39 12
1018 What? I got tired of tickling them. 1.2972 0.03791 212 159 43 10
1019 And now for Beethoven’s 9th round. 1.2970 0.04037 202 154 36 12
1020 Chopin, Nocturne No. 2 in every key. 1.2969 0.03810 229 175 40 14
1021 Ive had to fight my way to get here! 1.2969 0.03910 192 143 41 8
1022 Here's a little number I punched out this morning. 1.2969 0.03980 192 144 39 9
1023 As soon as my opponent arrives, we can begin. 1.2969 0.03621 192 139 49 4
1024 Tonight’s performance is sponsored by Everlast. 1.2968 0.03653 219 163 47 9
1025 My playing style is known to be rather aggressive. 1.2968 0.03766 219 165 43 11
1026 And now, Rocky III, Opus I. 1.2967 0.03765 209 156 44 9
1027 I said I’d play for a Grand, baby! Not play a baby-grand! 1.2966 0.03874 236 183 36 17
1028 For my next selection, I will play the 'Theme from Rocky'. 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1029 Bach? I thought you said Box. 1.2965 0.04015 199 151 37 11
1030 To complete this Mancini set, I’ll switch from Henry to Ray Boom Boom. 1.2965 0.03886 199 149 41 9
1031 ARE ... YOU ... READY...TO ........GLISSANDO!!!!! 1.2965 0.04015 199 151 37 11
1032 And now, a sonata in twelve rounds. 1.2963 0.03799 216 163 42 11
1033 And now, I will sock it to you. 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
1034 And now, my Concerto in A-B-C-D-E-F-G minor." 1.2963 0.03742 216 162 44 10
1035 Next up is the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight" in the keys of A, C, and F 1.2963 0.03856 216 164 40 12
1036 Here in the final round is the theme from 'Rocky." 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
1037 Its not easy being Victor Borg's son! 1.2963 0.03911 216 165 38 13
1038 And now, I shall perform my impressions of what some of you call "jazz". 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
1039 I would like to play this next number the way people have been saying I play it. 1.2961 0.04040 206 158 35 13
1040 I see you're as confused as I am. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1041 Thank you. That was Rockymaninoff's Piano Concerto in Round No. 2. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1042 Do you want the black notes or the white notes? 1.2961 0.04099 206 159 33 14
1043 Here's a new tune that will knock you out. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1044 Round three goes something like this. 1.2960 0.03719 223 168 44 11
1045 And now, the 1812 Overture for solo piano 1.2960 0.03981 223 173 34 16
1046 Next I'm going to knock out a few favorites... 1.2959 0.04055 196 149 36 11
1047 On the other hand, 15 note chords are easy! 1.2959 0.03924 196 147 40 9
1048 Eh, my playing's a little rocky. 1.2958 0.03656 213 158 47 8
1049 I Only Play Fight Songs 1.2958 0.03775 213 160 43 10
1050 This next piece is called 'Ode to Percussion' 1.2956 0.03897 203 153 40 10
1051 For my next number, I’ll be pummeling the ivories... 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1052 I would like to play now a little something composed by the late Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2956 0.04080 203 156 34 13
1053 This one is called “Fight Of The Bumblebee” 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1054 What tune would you like me to knock out next? 1.2956 0.03897 203 153 40 10
1055 I think I've lost this bet already. 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1056 A copy of my new album to whoever guesses what I'm playing 1.2955 0.03914 220 169 37 14
1057 I promise you a knockout performance. 1.2953 0.04029 193 146 37 10
1058 I'll just punch out a little number 1.2953 0.03893 193 144 41 8
1059 And now, Rockymaninoff 's concerto #2 1.2953 0.04289 193 150 29 14
1060 For the encore, I take the gloves off. 1.2952 0.03688 210 156 46 8
1061 And now my tribute to Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2952 0.03810 210 158 42 10
1062 Yes, the whole piece is to be played Fortissimo. 1.2952 0.04261 210 166 26 18
1063 Hook and Jab in D minor by Johann Sebastian Box 1.2952 0.03869 210 159 40 11
1064 This next piece I composed for Boxing Day. 1.2952 0.03985 210 161 36 13
1065 This time I'm not going to tickle the ivories! 1.2952 0.03673 227 171 45 11
1066 I'll just knock out a few tunes for you. 1.2950 0.03870 200 150 41 9
1067 Float like a butterfly Sting like a B major 1.2950 0.04060 200 153 35 12
1068 And for my next selection, a round. 1.2949 0.03895 217 166 38 13
1069 Before I take the gloves off are there any requests? 1.2947 0.03931 190 142 40 8
1070 3, 2, 1... Hit It! 1.2947 0.03965 207 158 37 12
1071 Yo, Hayydnnn! 1.2947 0.03844 207 156 41 10
1072 Are you certain these are the same gloves Glenn Gould used? 1.2947 0.04023 207 159 35 13
1073 The gloves come off for the Rachmaninoff! 1.2946 0.04016 224 175 32 17
1074 This next piece is "'Requiem' for a Heavyweight," my homage to Mozart. 1.2944 0.04225 197 153 30 14
1075 This way I don't have to insure my hands. 1.2944 0.03906 197 148 40 9
1076 Here's my rendition of Beethoven's Fifth – Round. 1.2944 0.03642 214 159 47 8
1077 Is there someone who can read music and turn pages for me? 1.2944 0.03642 214 159 47 8
1078 I just knocked this last piece out last night. 1.2944 0.03931 214 164 37 13
1079 Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart — lightweights! 1.2944 0.03818 214 162 41 11
1080 They're insured! 1.2944 0.03681 231 175 44 12
1081 Having defeated all challengers, I will now continue with the Chopin. 1.2941 0.04063 204 157 34 13
1082 And now a special arrangement of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2941 0.03754 204 152 44 8
1083 For my next piece...the theme from Rocky 1.2941 0.04237 204 160 28 16
1084 I will now play a piece from my boxed set. 1.2938 0.03968 211 162 36 13
1085 Piano Sonata No. 3, fortissimo 1.2938 0.03794 211 159 42 10
1086 This next number is a knock out. 1.2938 0.04143 194 149 33 12
1087 Sit back and relax while I pummel the ivories. 1.2938 0.03876 194 145 41 8
1088 and now, I'll knock out one your old favorites. 1.2938 0.04078 194 148 35 11
1089 This is going to be very postmodern. 1.2936 0.03879 235 183 35 17
1090 In a sudden moment of panic, Mitch realizes that the Rachmaninoff concerto was actually written for a southpaw. 1.2936 0.03934 218 168 36 14
1091 When you asked if I could pound the keys... 1.2936 0.03825 218 166 40 12
1092 After all, the piano is a percussion instrument. 1.2936 0.03880 218 167 38 13
1093 This next piece was composed by my toddler 1.2936 0.03825 218 166 40 12
1094 My next piece consists of ten rounds. 1.2935 0.04103 201 155 33 13
1095 I said I could punch out a tune. 1.2935 0.03853 201 151 41 9
1096 I am now going to play for you a medley of works by Rockymaninoff. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
1097 One cannot just tickle the ivories with Rachmaninoff. 1.2932 0.04186 191 147 32 12
1098 Ready for this? I’ve decided to give it the old one, two. 1.2930 0.03803 215 163 41 11
1099 My Rachmaninoff may be a little Rocky. 1.2930 0.03627 215 160 47 8
1100 And then I realized, my fight with the music IS the music 1.2929 0.04145 198 153 32 13
1101 The last time I played this next tune, someone nearly bit my ear off. 1.2929 0.04145 198 153 32 13
1102 Heavy handed—me? 1.2929 0.03738 239 184 40 15
1103 But first, Rockymaninoff’s ‘The Pugilist’s Prelude‘ . 1.2928 0.04037 222 174 31 17
1104 I'll be playing Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.2927 0.03925 205 156 38 11
1105 Let's see if you can guess who composed this piece." 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1106 Why hunt and peck when you can bob and weave? 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1107 Oh! I thought you wanted a knockout performance. 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1108 I thought you said to play the hits 1.2926 0.03948 229 179 33 17
1109 Symphonie Pugiliste? 1.2926 0.04023 188 142 37 9
1110 This is going to suck. 1.2926 0.04363 188 147 27 14
1111 Okay. let's knock out a few tunes on the piano. Any request? 1.2923 0.03927 195 147 39 9
1112 I invite you to sing along while I punch out a few notes. 1.2923 0.03994 195 148 37 10
1113 I shall now perform Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2923 0.04188 195 151 31 13
1114 Tonight, you’ll hear DeBussy with some punch! 1.2922 0.03583 219 163 48 8
1115 Any more requests ,except "go to hell"? 1.2922 0.03864 219 168 38 13
1116 My next piece is Chopin's Noc-out-turne opus 9 1.2922 0.03810 219 167 40 12
1117 When I told the host of this show, I'd play for free, he said 'sure, knock yourself out.'" 1.2922 0.03810 219 167 40 12
1118 And now my rendition of "The Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2921 0.03837 202 152 41 9
1119 The theme from Rocky 1.2921 0.04085 202 156 33 13
1120 A knockout performance! 1.2921 0.03900 202 153 39 10
1121 It was a restraining order from my piano teacher! 1.2919 0.04214 209 165 27 17
1122 This is the best way I have found to knock out a tune. 1.2919 0.03813 209 158 41 10
1123 This next piece is going to be a little punchier 1.2919 0.03752 209 157 43 9
1124 Put up your Duke Ellingtons 1.2919 0.03752 209 157 43 9
1125 I'm making Mozart great again. 1.2919 0.04214 209 165 27 17
1126 For an encore, I've chosen to knock out a few bars of Beethoven's Ninth. 1.2918 0.03498 233 174 50 9
1127 Prepare to be knocked out! 1.2917 0.03553 216 160 49 7
1128 Ever have that dream that you went to school in your underwear? This is my version... 1.2915 0.03815 223 171 39 13
1129 I shall now perform Handel with kid gloves. 1.2915 0.04065 199 153 34 12
1130 This next piece is to be played 'molto forte.' 1.2915 0.04065 199 153 34 12
1131 Now for my knockout piece as the encore. 1.2913 0.03659 206 153 46 7
1132 OSHA regulations. 1.2911 0.03936 213 164 36 13
1133 And now for my knockout number... 1.2910 0.03862 189 141 41 7
1134 A Paul Simon song, sir ? Any one in particular ? 1.2909 0.03955 220 171 34 15
1135 That's the last time I schedule a concert on Boxing Day. 1.2907 0.03767 227 174 40 13
1136 Yet another dream where I don't have my underwear on. 1.2906 0.04007 203 156 35 12
1137 'I'll knock out a few melodies." 1.2906 0.03884 203 154 39 10
1138 Hopefully this will strike a chord with you as it did for me. 1.2906 0.03884 203 154 39 10
1139 This piece will knock you out. 1.2906 0.03820 203 153 41 9
1140 And now, my arrangement of Paul Simon’s ‘The Boxer.’ 1.2906 0.04068 203 157 33 13
1141 For my next selection, I have prepared an interpretive rendition of the Theme from Rocky. 1.2905 0.04030 210 163 33 14
1142 My next selection is a Rockymaninoff 1.2905 0.04030 210 163 33 14
1143 This one is by Rockymaninov. 1.2905 0.03857 210 160 39 11
1144 My next selection will be "Fight of the Bumblebee". 1.2905 0.03857 210 160 39 11
1145 Ladies and gentlemen ... I will now attempt to free my hands and play the Minute Waltz in 55 seconds or less. 1.2905 0.03569 241 183 46 12
1146 The melody could use a little more punch. 1.2903 0.04046 186 141 36 9
1147 And now, an interpretation of Liszt based on my true feelings. 1.2903 0.03829 217 166 39 12
1148 Before my next performance I'd like to ask the Gazette's music critic to join me onstage. 1.2903 0.03992 217 169 33 15
1149 And for my next number I will play Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2902 0.04082 193 148 34 11
1150 Box variations. 1.2900 0.03771 231 178 39 14
1151 They said the keys would be larger 1.2900 0.03619 231 175 45 11
1152 After 30 years of tickling the ivories, I’ve decided to try something new. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1153 To close, a traditional Boxing Day tune. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1154 I always dread the Boxing Day gig. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1155 I think you'll agree this next tune is a real knockout. 1.2899 0.04060 169 126 37 6
1156 ...And now a selection from my new boxed set. 1.2899 0.03832 207 157 40 10
1157 Folks, this won't be my usual performance. I'm not wearing any pants tonight. 1.2899 0.04069 207 161 32 14
1158 And now, "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2899 0.03892 207 158 38 11
1159 And now for some Wagner. 1.2897 0.03689 214 161 44 9
1160 Next, a piece I composed when I was three years old. 1.2897 0.04242 214 171 24 19
1161 Gerald was finding his two jobs were beginning to interfere with each other. 1.2897 0.04030 214 167 32 15
1162 Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m Down for the Count Basie! 1.2896 0.04088 183 139 35 9
1163 And now for a piece by Pugalini. 1.2896 0.03669 221 167 44 10
1164 If the bartender is listening, I'm ready for another round. 1.2896 0.03725 221 168 42 11
1165 Now for a thumping good tune 1.2896 0.03613 221 166 46 9
1166 Who brought the piano? I asked for a gong! 1.2895 0.03541 228 171 48 9
1167 Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2895 0.04050 228 181 28 19
1168 And now for a touch of Wagner. 1.2895 0.04257 190 148 29 13
1169 And now, I will play the 0ne-two waltz. 1.2895 0.04124 190 146 33 11
1170 For your pleasure, “Cacophony in B flat” 1.2895 0.04056 190 145 35 10
1171 This next piece I will play using only gentle jabs and delicate hooks. 1.2893 0.04150 197 153 31 13
1172 This is a lessor known but musically athletic Bach piece, the poundo and feud in three rounds. 1.2893 0.04024 197 151 35 11
1173 Here comes the hook. 1.2892 0.03867 204 155 39 10
1174 And now I shall play for your listening pleasure a few pieces from my latest recording, ‘Atonal Bludgeoning Cacophony.’ 1.2891 0.04013 211 164 33 14
1175 And here's a knockout hit I wrote recently... 1.2891 0.03899 211 162 37 12
1176 And now the hard way. 1.2891 0.04124 211 166 29 16
1177 And now a song that floats like Madame Butterfly and stings like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2891 0.03841 211 161 39 11
1178 I'm hoping to be saved by the bell. 1.2889 0.03570 225 169 47 9
1179 Let's get ready to Rrrrrrachmaninoffff! 1.2889 0.03785 225 173 39 13
1180 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be performing Simon and Garfunkel’s, The Boxer, as it was originally conceived. 1.2889 0.03679 225 171 43 11
1181 I think you'll all recognize this Paul Simon tune. 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
1182 Are you sure about this, Mr. Cage? 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
1183 And now for a piece that sounds like something a toddler could play. 1.2886 0.03904 201 153 38 10
1184 Who's ready to hear my hit song? 1.2886 0.04029 201 155 34 12
1185 John Cage's 4'33, as played by Rocky Balboa. 1.2886 0.04151 201 157 30 14
1186 That was John Cage. Any questions? 1.2886 0.04151 201 157 30 14
1187 And now, for your listening pleasure, I will attempt chopsticks. 1.2885 0.03994 208 161 34 13
1188 For my next number I shall pound the keyboard. 1.2885 0.03692 208 156 44 8
1189 Now for a mash-up I like to call "Float like a Butterfly; sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.2885 0.03876 208 159 38 11
1190 And now I will perform"Horowitz at age 2" 1.2885 0.03876 208 159 38 11
1191 I would now like to play Ravel's "Concerto for No Hands." 1.2884 0.03848 215 165 38 12
1192 They said my playing could use a little punch. 1.2884 0.03733 215 163 42 10
1193 Let's see you bring your booing up here. 1.2884 0.03848 215 165 38 12
1194 If Beethoven could do it deaf, then I might as well try my best. 1.2884 0.03904 215 166 36 13
1195 I will now play a round by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2884 0.03791 215 164 40 11
1196 Last time, Rachmaninoff won. 1.2883 0.03655 222 168 44 10
1197 Now, I’d like to play you a selection of my greatest hits. 1.2883 0.03711 222 169 42 11
1198 I’d like to now play the piano version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2883 0.03655 222 168 44 10
1199 We take "dueling pianos" very seriously. 1.2882 0.03635 229 174 44 11
1200 I only play Fortissimo. 1.2881 0.03685 243 188 40 15
1201 My next selection is a real knockout. 1.2880 0.04068 184 140 35 9
1202 Uhhh...I kinda lost a bet. 1.2879 0.04069 198 153 33 12
1203 This next one is more ‘Rocky’ than Rachmaninoff. 1.2878 0.03851 205 156 39 10
1204 Any other requests? 1.2878 0.04033 205 159 33 13
1205 It’s not The Fight of The Bumblebee? 1.2877 0.03997 212 165 33 14
1206 I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. I coulda been somebody. Instead of a bum. Which is what I am. 1.2877 0.03940 212 164 35 13
1207 My next number is "Chopfists". 1.2877 0.03743 219 167 41 11
1208 Here’s a little something for all you boxing fans”. 1.2877 0.04013 219 172 31 16
1209 This next one is also by Stravinsky. 1.2877 0.03907 219 170 35 14
1210 And now, I give you Punchini's "Madam Sting Like a Butterfly." 1.2877 0.03798 219 168 39 12
1211 ...and now an original composition that I like to call "Thrilla in Manila" 1.2877 0.03798 219 168 39 12
1212 And now I'd like to play something with absolutely no regard for talent, technique or quite frankly, for any of you my dear audience. 1.2876 0.03771 226 174 39 13
1213 Gimme a mandatory eight count. 1.2876 0.03611 226 171 45 10
1214 This next piece was composed by a 2 yr. old with no formal training. 1.2872 0.04046 195 150 34 11
1215 Now, my rendition of Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2871 0.03887 202 154 38 10
1216 I thought I’d punch up this last number just a bit. 1.2871 0.03823 202 153 40 9
1217 This will be 1812 like you've never heard. 1.2871 0.03800 209 159 40 10
1218 I will now play Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V. 1.2871 0.03739 209 158 42 9
1219 That was in the key of C minor, give or take... 1.2870 0.03776 216 165 40 11
1220 Its Rimsky-Korsakov with a postmodern vibe: I call it "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2870 0.03943 216 168 34 14
1221 This next piece is by Sergei Knockyerblockoff. 1.2870 0.03641 223 169 44 10
1222 I will now play for you a piece by Donald J. Trump called ‘Bing Bing Bong Bong’ 1.2870 0.03857 223 173 36 14
1223 It’s an upbeat tempo. One, two. One, two. 1.2870 0.03641 223 169 44 10
1224 It's called Bach-sing. 1.2869 0.03698 237 183 40 14
1225 Does anybody dare to make a request? 1.2865 0.03902 185 139 39 7
1226 I dare you, ask me to play ‘Piano Man’ one more time. 1.2865 0.04153 192 149 31 12
1227 This next one has a hook that will be in your head for days. 1.2864 0.03988 199 153 35 11
1228 And now, I will do a rendition of "The Boxer," by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2864 0.03725 199 149 43 7
1229 Let’s get ready to RE-CI-TAAAAL! 1.2864 0.03988 199 153 35 11
1230 ...and now the band and I would like to punch out a couple of old favorites. 1.2864 0.03709 206 155 43 8
1231 Would the person who requested Proud Mary please come forward? 1.2864 0.04074 206 161 31 14
1232 We'll have a brief intermission while I decide my future. 1.2864 0.04074 206 161 31 14
1233 Good evening and welcome to 'Boxers Got Talent'! 1.2864 0.03956 206 159 35 12
1234 I'd like to pound out a few tunes. 1.2864 0.03773 206 156 41 9
1235 I hope you enjoy this next number. I knocked it out last night. 1.2864 0.03783 220 169 39 12
1236 My next selection is Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" 1.2863 0.03704 227 174 41 12
1237 I float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee 1.2857 0.03703 217 165 42 10
1238 I think I misunderstood the phrase 'hitting the right notes'. 1.2857 0.03742 203 153 42 8
1239 My next selection will be from the Ring Cycle 1.2857 0.03828 196 148 40 8
1240 My next song is The Boxer, by Simon and Garfunkle. 1.2857 0.03903 210 162 36 12
1241 I am going to float like a butterfly and sting like a B major 1.2857 0.04129 189 146 32 11
1242 I call this next piece, Ali vs. Frazier, in B minor. 1.2857 0.04028 196 151 34 11
1243 This next piece is from the Ring cycle. 1.2857 0.04028 196 151 34 11
1244 They told me it was Boxing Day. 1.2857 0.03682 224 171 42 11
1245 I went to a tough music school. The keys were black and blue. But seriously, take my arranger. Please! 1.2857 0.04308 182 142 28 12
1246 As a Jazz Pacifist, I believe it's more about the notes I don't strike 1.2857 0.03927 217 169 34 14
1247 Chopin Piano Concerto, round 3. 1.2857 0.03465 217 161 50 6
1248 And now ... The Pugilist of Seville. 1.2857 0.03933 203 156 36 11
1249 . . . and now the theme from Rocky 1.2857 0.04218 196 154 28 14
1250 And now in the key of Ali. 1.2857 0.03872 217 168 36 13
1251 It's kind of a punchy tune! 1.2857 0.03627 224 170 44 10
1252 This song was composed by my two year old son on the pots and pans. 1.2857 0.04515 182 145 22 15
1253 Too punchy? 1.2857 0.03870 203 155 38 10
1254 1, 2, 3 - hit it! 1.2857 0.03724 210 159 42 9
1255 Before I start playing the theme from "Rocky", can somebody come up here and zip up my pants? 1.2857 0.04092 196 152 32 12
1256 Let's get ready to rumba. 1.2857 0.03933 203 156 36 11
1257 And now for the old, ‘One, two’ 1.2851 0.03658 221 168 43 10
1258 And now a contemporary rendition of Schoenberg's transcription of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.2850 0.04019 214 168 31 15
1259 Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V 1.2850 0.03677 214 162 43 9
1260 And now a little number by Schoenberg—please feel free to hum along. 1.2850 0.04019 214 168 31 15
1261 This next piece - "John Cage Match" - is an homage. 1.2850 0.03851 214 165 37 12
1262 I think you will all recognize the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.2850 0.03757 207 157 41 9
1263 Maestro, Uppercut in C Major please. 1.2850 0.03819 207 158 39 10
1264 They’re rather tired of being tickled. 1.2850 0.03940 207 160 35 12
1265 And finally, I'd like to knock out a few." 1.2850 0.03819 207 158 39 10
1266 This next piece is by John Cage. 1.2850 0.04114 207 163 29 15
1267 What you are about to hear has never before been played in a concert hall. 1.2850 0.03907 200 153 37 10
1268 YOU FORGOT THE BLINDFOLD. 1.2850 0.04568 193 157 17 19
1269 I Am The Greatest! 1.2850 0.03864 193 146 39 8
1270 And now a tribute to the late great Muhammad Ali. 1.2850 0.03933 193 147 37 9
1271 Did you say, "Bach's"? 1.2850 0.04001 193 148 35 10
1272 What does Beethoven being deaf have to do with it? 1.2850 0.04387 193 154 23 16
1273 Trust me, this next song will be a knockout. 1.2844 0.03668 225 172 42 11
1274 I shall now play Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee Flat 1.2844 0.03929 225 177 32 16
1275 And now, my own rendition of the 1812 Overture. 1.2844 0.03878 225 176 34 15
1276 Here's a punchy little etude... 1.2844 0.03452 218 162 50 6
1277 And now, I'd like to play "TKO for Two" 1.2844 0.03689 218 166 42 10
1278 And now, a recently discovered composition by John Cage. 1.2844 0.03965 218 171 32 15
1279 LIMERICK: There was a pianist named Billy...A heavy weight singer from Philly...His tunes packed a punch...And he delivered a bunch...But personally, I found them silly. 1.2844 0.03769 211 161 40 10
1280 Many of you know this from my box set. 1.2844 0.03769 211 161 40 10
1281 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO KNOCKOUT ANOTHER TUNE? 1.2843 0.03916 204 157 36 11
1282 This composition needs more punch. 1.2843 0.03791 204 155 40 9
1283 This one has a punchy beat 1.2843 0.03727 204 154 42 8
1284 Well, not usually, but these are my Bach-sing gloves. 1.2843 0.03791 204 155 40 9
1285 It needed the right hook. 1.2843 0.03916 204 157 36 11
1286 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, I don't plan to tickle the ivories as much as smash 'em to bits. 1.2843 0.03878 197 150 38 9
1287 Next, I'd like to play the Ali Variations. 1.2843 0.03945 197 151 36 10
1288 For my final piece I'd like to play Schubert's Four Impromptus D899 but I can't. So instead I'll just beat the crap out of this thing. 1.2842 0.04110 190 147 32 11
1289 This next piece is a punchy little number. 1.2842 0.04110 190 147 32 11
1290 This next little number is a real knockout! 1.2837 0.03836 215 166 37 12
1291 The Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2837 0.03947 215 168 33 14
1292 It's worse than it looks. They're thumbless gloves. 1.2837 0.03892 215 167 35 13
1293 And now, my final number will just knock you out! 1.2837 0.03721 215 164 41 10
1294 Yo adagio! 1.2837 0.03863 208 160 37 11
1295 Would anyone care to hear another fight song? 1.2837 0.03741 208 158 41 9
1296 The first number I'll be playing this evening is going to sound like hell. 1.2837 0.03923 208 161 35 12
1297 Sonata for two boxing gloves on three keys at a time, molto grandissimo. 1.2837 0.03615 208 156 45 7
1298 My next piece is a real knockout. 1.2835 0.03847 194 147 39 8
1299 This is for the table that requested the theme from “Rocky”! 1.2834 0.03866 187 141 39 7
1300 Now, a new work, “Brexit Compromise,” in B flat minor. 1.2834 0.04221 187 146 29 12
1301 For my next number...'Requiem for a Heavyweight' 1.2831 0.03674 219 167 42 10
1302 Next, "Dance of the Butterflies," by Muhammad Ali. 1.2830 0.03632 212 160 44 8
1303 I have found it difficult to refrain from texting during performances. 1.2830 0.03928 212 165 34 13
1304 It worked for my cat. 1.2829 0.03838 205 157 38 10
1305 Float like a melody, sting like a B-flat. 1.2829 0.03512 205 152 48 5
1306 Roll over, Beethoven. 1.2828 0.03992 198 153 34 11
1307 And now, Ravel's Piano Concerto in D for Southpaws. 1.2828 0.04118 198 155 30 13
1308 And now, I would like to play the theme song from the movie, Rocky. 1.2828 0.04301 198 158 24 16
1309 ...and so in tribute to Michael Jackson, I will "just Beat It." 1.2828 0.03927 198 152 36 10
1310 Let the first round of the concerto begin. 1.2827 0.04158 191 149 30 12
1311 Concerto in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G 1.2826 0.03903 184 139 38 7
1312 Harolds worst nightmare, trying out for the "L.A. PHILHARMONIC" 1.2826 0.04404 184 146 24 14
1313 And now for a bit of Rocky maninoff! 1.2826 0.03814 230 180 35 15
1314 My next piece is in one-two time. 1.2825 0.03845 223 174 35 14
1315 I call the next piece "The Ring Cycle". 1.2825 0.03845 223 174 35 14
1316 I’m wearing these gloves at the request of my fans 1.2824 0.03763 216 166 39 11
1317 Now, for a rarely-played piece from Wagner's Ring Cycle. 1.2824 0.03931 216 169 33 14
1318 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B-sharp. 1.2823 0.03726 209 159 41 9
1319 That concludes Round 1, Round 2 will begin after intermission . 1.2823 0.03787 209 160 39 10
1320 The contract stated I was not allowed to "tickle" the ivories 1.2822 0.03936 202 156 35 11
1321 'We're now going to take the gloves off.' 1.2822 0.03873 202 155 37 10
1322 I will take off the gloves, but I want you to know how it feels to be challenged by Prokofiev. 1.2822 0.03873 202 155 37 10
1323 Then what precisely DO you mean by "Punch it up a little"? 1.2822 0.03809 202 154 39 9
1324 Ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform a medley of my greatest hits. 1.2821 0.03463 234 177 48 9
1325 Excuse me, the keys are too small. 1.2819 0.04201 188 147 29 12
1326 If Billy Joel claims to be the piano man one more time, I swear I'm going to deck him. 1.2819 0.03993 188 144 35 9
1327 Fair warning if you don’t applaud. 1.2818 0.03602 220 167 44 9
1328 Ladies and Gentlemen, Rockymaninoff No. 3. 1.2818 0.03880 220 172 34 14
1329 Tickling the ivories! I think not. 1.2818 0.03863 181 136 39 6
1330 And now, the Trump Suite of Dementias, in F Major. 1.2817 0.03968 213 167 32 14
1331 This concert is off to a Rocky start. 1.2817 0.03738 213 163 40 10
1332 I love challenges! 1.2817 0.04078 213 169 28 16
1333 And it sounds a little something like this.... 1.2816 0.03759 206 157 40 9
1334 What?? No, the contract definitely said glove songs... 1.2816 0.04120 206 163 28 15
1335 What do you mean I am off key? 1.2816 0.03943 206 160 34 12
1336 Apologies for the rocky start... 1.2816 0.03883 206 159 36 11
1337 And now, "The Boxer" 1.2815 0.03722 238 186 37 15
1338 Well, technique isn't everything. 1.2815 0.03372 238 179 51 8
1339 No dad, I'm giving up on your dream 1.2815 0.03576 238 183 43 12
1340 I dedicate this next piece to my manager, who needs a better understanding of what a ‘boxing day concert’ is. 1.2814 0.04038 199 155 32 12
1341 And now for the hook. 1.2812 0.04394 192 154 22 16
1342 Oddsmakers have ebony over ivory in the third round . 1.2812 0.04072 192 149 32 11
1343 Now for Chopin’s Etude in G# minor, Op.25; No.6 the hard way. 1.2812 0.04005 192 148 34 10
1344 On tonight’s program, “Float like Les Papillons, sting like Debussy.” 1.2811 0.03915 217 170 33 14
1345 And now for a little fight music. 1.2811 0.03860 217 169 35 13
1346 This next number will be a little Rocky 1.2811 0.03748 217 167 39 11
1347 And now, round four... 1.2811 0.03805 217 168 37 12
1348 And now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ as it was originally composed... 1.2810 0.04006 210 165 31 14
1349 They keys in this piece are pretty sharp. 1.2810 0.03831 210 162 37 11
1350 The second movement begins with delightful arpeggios and ends with an uppercut. 1.2810 0.03831 210 162 37 11
1351 Ladies and gentlemen, The Palooka Polka. 1.2810 0.03890 210 163 35 12
1352 I wanted to be a boxer, but mother made me take piano lessons. 1.2809 0.03450 235 178 48 9
1353 I'm trying to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2808 0.03662 203 153 43 7
1354 This is called he Mefisto Waltz. 1.2808 0.03857 203 156 37 10
1355 It was at that moment, Rocky knew he had to give up his dreams. 1.2808 0.03793 203 155 39 9
1356 Sharp or flat? 1.2807 0.03731 228 177 38 13
1357 My next number will knock you out. 1.2806 0.03881 196 150 37 9
1358 And now: Beethoven's Ninth--in the style of American democracy. 1.2806 0.04205 196 155 27 14
1359 And next, the theme from Rocky. 1.2805 0.03864 221 173 34 14
1360 I'm working on my fortissimos. 1.2805 0.03701 221 170 40 11
1361 And now, Muhammad Ali's fifth symphony. 1.2804 0.03896 214 167 34 13
1362 I've had a request for "The Boxer." 1.2802 0.03866 207 160 36 11
1363 I dare you to cough one more time! 1.2802 0.03927 207 161 34 12
1364 Get ready for my latest hit... 1.2802 0.03805 207 159 38 10
1365 This next selection is a real knockout. 1.2802 0.03805 207 159 38 10
1366 I will now take on Mozart 1.2802 0.03616 207 156 44 7
1367 Heads up, folks -- this next number's going to be a knockout. 1.2802 0.03736 232 181 37 14
1368 They complained I was all thumbs. 1.2800 0.03828 200 153 38 9
1369 It’s not as delicate a piece as one might think. 1.2800 0.03489 225 170 47 8
1370 So! I’m not all thumbs!! 1.2800 0.03957 200 155 34 11
1371 Now I'd like to knock out my latest for you! 1.2800 0.03762 200 152 40 8
1372 Just how fortissimo do you want it? 1.2800 0.03828 200 153 38 9
1373 You said pugilisimo, right? 1.2800 0.04082 200 157 30 13
1374 And now, reimagined for pianoforte, the theme from Rocky. 1.2798 0.04111 218 175 25 18
1375 I dedicate this next piece to Philip Glass. 1.2798 0.04054 193 150 32 11
1376 *“Alas, ebony and ivory don’t always live together in perfect harmony.” 1.2797 0.03641 236 183 40 13
1377 Now, i am going to play my greatest hits. 1.2796 0.03756 211 162 39 10
1378 And now, Madam Butterfly, Stings Like A Bee. 1.2796 0.04100 211 168 27 16
1379 What? You've never seen Bach-sing gloves? 1.2796 0.04100 211 168 27 16
1380 This next piece may be a little Rocky. 1.2796 0.03932 211 165 33 13
1381 I have A Minor problem 1.2796 0.03756 211 162 39 10
1382 J. S. BACHINGGLOVE 1.2796 0.03695 211 161 41 9
1383 And now, ladies and gentlemen: "'We Will Rock You! 1.2796 0.04226 186 146 28 12
1384 I thought you said "bach". 1.2795 0.03612 229 176 42 11
1385 Introducing classical music for millennials. Because alone, Piano Sonata No. 29 isn't enough to maintain your attention. 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1386 It's an unfinished piece if anyone's cellphone goes off. 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1387 And in this corner.......Liszt-loving, Bach-breaking, Mozart-mauling .....two-handed "Steinway Tommy Tune"!! 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1388 Well, most musicians needs two jobs 1.2794 0.03840 204 157 37 10
1389 I know it looks odd, but it got me into Harvard. 1.2793 0.03902 222 175 32 15
1390 And now, I'll play selections from my box set. 1.2792 0.04060 197 154 31 12
1391 And now, by Rimsky-Korsakov, The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2792 0.03864 197 151 37 9
1392 I call it "Pounding on the keys like a goddamned Ape.' 1.2791 0.03649 215 164 42 9
1393 And now for Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto in c minor. Better known as Rocky II 1.2791 0.03935 215 169 32 14
1394 Victor Borge in his final round 1.2791 0.03708 215 165 40 10
1395 The nightmare before the concert. 1.2791 0.04309 172 134 28 10
1396 And now I'd like to bang out a little ditty of my own... 1.2790 0.03517 233 178 45 10
1397 I will next perform the theme from Rocky. 1.2790 0.03517 233 178 45 10
1398 That was the fury, now comes the sound. 1.2789 0.04095 190 148 31 11
1399 And now a new take on a classic: "Beating You Senseless With My Song." 1.2789 0.03886 190 145 37 8
1400 It's a Cage session. 1.2789 0.04095 190 148 31 11
1401 Playing piano helps with my anger management issues. 1.2788 0.03532 226 172 45 9
1402 You were right. This does sound a little better. 1.2786 0.04002 201 157 32 12
1403 This one's in the key of Knock You Flat. 1.2786 0.03811 201 154 38 9
1404 They laughed when I sat down at the piano. 1.2785 0.03884 219 172 33 14
1405 For my next piece, I'll be playing the theme song from Rocky. 1.2785 0.03829 219 171 35 13
1406 This next piece is called "the fight of the bumble bees". 1.2785 0.03829 219 171 35 13
1407 And now, my rendition of the "The Theme From Rocky'. 1.2785 0.03477 237 181 46 10
1408 And Now Tyson's Ninf Symphony 1.2784 0.04035 194 151 32 11
1409 You should see what the keyboard looks like 1.2784 0.03616 194 145 44 5
1410 These? They're for when I meet that #*&@* composer after the concert. 1.2783 0.03858 212 165 35 12
1411 ...And it kind of goes like this. 1.2783 0.03680 212 162 41 9
1412 I'm in between careers. 1.2783 0.03740 212 163 39 10
1413 In tune, but out of touch. 1.2783 0.03916 212 166 33 13
1414 And now, some tunes from The Ring. 1.2783 0.04083 212 169 27 16
1415 When I play fortissimo, I don't fuck around. 1.2783 0.03853 230 182 32 16
1416 Please have patience as I fight my way through the always difficult Rachmaninoff 3rd piano concerto. 1.2783 0.03853 230 182 32 16
1417 Next, I'll play you a punchy little tune. 1.2781 0.03849 187 142 38 7
1418 I used to play by ear. 1.2780 0.04182 205 164 25 16
1419 Pianist!? I could've swore the classified sought a pugilist. 1.2780 0.04066 205 162 29 14
1420 This is a little etude for note clusters, which I composed myself. 1.2780 0.03947 205 160 33 12
1421 And next, a lovely little composition by Victor Borge. 1.2778 0.03847 198 152 37 9
1422 And now, a visual depiction of writer's block. 1.2778 0.03751 216 167 38 11
1423 Despite his millions earned, Rocky Balboa eventually went baroque. 1.2778 0.03913 198 153 35 10
1424 The chorus will now join me for few rounds. 1.2775 0.03774 209 161 38 10
1425 Boxing. It helps me think outside of the piano. 1.2775 0.03774 209 161 38 10
1426 This Flight of the Bumblebee is in honor of Muhammad Ali. 1.2775 0.04067 209 166 28 15
1427 Float like ‘Madame Butterfly,’ sting like ‘Flight of the Bumblebee.’ 1.2775 0.04008 191 148 33 10
1428 I will now play for you “Eine Kleine Knock You Out.” 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1429 Let me give you a tune with some punch! 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1430 It's time for the greatest hits. 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1431 I’m afraid I can only take requests for something from “The Ring” cycle. 1.2772 0.03795 202 155 38 9
1432 Yo Adrian, can you turn the music for me? 1.2772 0.03923 202 157 34 11
1433 Ohhh...you said we're going to Bach's! 1.2772 0.04109 184 143 31 10
1434 Tickling the ivories is for beginners. This is advanced stuff. 1.2770 0.03604 213 162 43 8
1435 'Chop Sticks.' Why? 1.2770 0.03784 213 165 37 11
1436 And now, an unusual rendering of "Chopsticks". 1.2768 0.04142 177 137 31 9
1437 Tonight I only play music from the Rocky films. 1.2767 0.03550 206 155 45 6
1438 And now I’m going to pound out an old favorite. 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1439 Next I'll perform Rockymaninoff's arrangement of Bach's concerto 1.2767 0.03745 206 158 39 9
1440 If you hum a few bars I can probably punch it out. 1.2767 0.03745 206 158 39 9
1441 I'm waiting for the opening bell. 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1442 Welcome to Ultimate Piano Club 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1443 This next piece makes Beethoven look like a little bitch. 1.2766 0.03543 235 181 43 11
1444 I'd like to dedicate my next number to Muhammad Ali. 1.2766 0.03594 235 182 41 12
1445 Oh, ho, yes, I’m the great contender. 1.2766 0.03977 188 145 34 9
1446 Next, I will play the theme from Rocky. 1.2765 0.03903 217 171 32 14
1447 Trust me, this next piece was a real knockout at my last recital 1.2765 0.03678 217 167 40 10
1448 So much for modern stuff. Now for Chopin, and the gloves come off. 1.2765 0.03848 217 170 34 13
1449 It is the best way to keep my hands insured. 1.2764 0.03896 199 154 35 10
1450 Ladies and Gentlemen, Flight of the Bumblebee like you have never heard played before! 1.2764 0.04024 199 156 31 12
1451 Nobody talks during my performance. 1.2764 0.03896 199 154 35 10
1452 And now I go three rounds with Rachmaninoff. 1.2764 0.03830 199 153 37 9
1453 Wasn't the program Rockymaninoff? 1.2764 0.04024 199 156 31 12
1454 Makes "hitting" those notes much easier. 1.2763 0.03505 228 174 45 9
1455 Now I will do the piece I played for Harvard’s Admissions Committee. 1.2763 0.03560 228 175 43 10
1456 Tonight I'll be playing the theme from Rocky XVII. 1.2763 0.03719 228 178 37 13
1457 Who's up for another round? 1.2762 0.03758 210 162 38 10
1458 Now for the Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2762 0.03697 210 161 40 9
1459 No hitting below b-flat 1.2762 0.03877 210 164 34 12
1460 Get me LARGER KEYS. 1.2762 0.03877 210 164 34 12
1461 If you all don’t stop heckling me the gloves are coming off 1.2760 0.04318 192 154 23 15
1462 I'm just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told... 1.2760 0.03853 221 174 33 14
1463 This next piece is a big hit! 1.2759 0.03906 203 158 34 11
1464 Would you care to join me in a round? 1.2759 0.03968 203 159 32 12
1465 I was told to punch up the ending 1.2759 0.03968 203 159 32 12
1466 And now for your listening pleasure, the theme from “Rocky”. 1.2759 0.03779 203 156 38 9
1467 Don't prejudge." 1.2757 0.03590 214 163 43 8
1468 This is a little tune I learned when I studied under Sonny Liston 1.2757 0.03710 214 165 39 10
1469 Why tickle the ivories? Pound them with passion! 1.2757 0.03590 214 163 43 8
1470 Next is a song that took Jim Morrison 8 1/2 minutes to sing. I plan to knock it out in 2. 1.2757 0.03826 214 167 35 12
1471 Actually, it's all in the technique. 1.2754 0.03973 207 163 31 13
1472 I will now perform an experimental piece by John Cage. 1.2752 0.03941 218 173 30 15
1473 I don't think I can play pianissimo. 1.2752 0.03663 218 168 40 10
1474 Here's a punchy tune I wrote to celebrate the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearings 1.2752 0.03887 218 172 32 14
1475 I HAVE TO HANDAL THE NEXT NUMBER WITH KID GLOVES 1.2751 0.04167 189 149 28 12
1476 I will now perform a more faithful interpretation of "Baby Elephant Walk". 1.2751 0.03959 189 146 34 9
1477 This one's for my Pop, who always wanted me to become a fighter 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1478 The ivories aren't being tickled tonight. 1.2750 0.04006 200 157 31 12
1479 Any requests for another Round? 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1480 For my next selection, I'm going to play 'Chopsticks' again. Anybody got a problem with that? 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1481 I like to call this one, ,'You're Gonna B-flat-tened.' 1.2749 0.03861 211 165 34 12
1482 And now, Rachmaninov in three rounds. 1.2749 0.03620 211 161 42 8
1483 And now a new medley for those in the audience who are tone deaf 1.2749 0.03919 211 166 32 13
1484 I consider the piano my opponent. 1.2748 0.03504 222 169 45 8
1485 I'm the boxer of Seville. 1.2746 0.03833 193 148 37 8
1486 And now, for The Fight of the Bumblebee! 1.2745 0.03950 204 160 32 12
1487 I'm going for a knockout performance of Box Sonata #1. 1.2745 0.03826 204 158 36 10
1488 What do you mean it could be punchier? 1.2745 0.04011 204 161 30 13
1489 This next piece is from the opera “Don King Giovanni.” 1.2744 0.03811 215 168 35 12
1490 and now, the ever popular 'Mitten on the Keys' 1.2744 0.03695 215 166 39 10
1491 ...And in the right corner, hailing from the Steinway factory in Queens, weighing in at 1200 pounds, it's GRAND PIANO!!! 1.2744 0.03695 215 166 39 10
1492 This next one is entitled “Eine Kleine Chinmusic” 1.2744 0.03635 215 165 41 9
1493 I call this next piece "The Crash of the Bumblebee." 1.2744 0.03753 215 167 37 11
1494 And now the overture from the opera 'Rocky' 1.2743 0.03463 226 172 46 8
1495 This is the point in the program at which I respond to requests for "Feelings" or "Piano Man". 1.2743 0.03630 226 175 40 11
1496 Hit it, maestro! 1.2743 0.04165 175 136 30 9
1497 Welcome to Fight Club. 1.2743 0.03922 175 133 36 6
1498 I call this The Pugilissimo. 1.2742 0.03850 186 142 37 7
1499 I wish my manager could enunciate. The word was Bach. 1.2742 0.03925 186 143 35 8
1500 Punchy melody it is. 1.2741 0.03916 197 153 34 10
1501 But the maestro said this was a Boxing Day concert. 1.2741 0.03641 197 149 42 6
1502 yeah,well if I could box,do you think I'd be trying to play this thing? 1.2740 0.03956 208 164 31 13
1503 I call this 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.2740 0.03956 208 164 31 13
1504 The ivory is going to be black and blue after I'm done with it 1.2740 0.03776 208 161 37 10
1505 I now present a new piece entitled "Modern Diplomacy." 1.2740 0.03872 219 173 32 14
1506 The next is a request from Mike Tyson 1.2740 0.03762 219 171 36 12
1507 This may look easy... It is not. 1.2739 0.03479 230 176 45 9
1508 Now, for a more muscular piece. 1.2736 0.03454 201 150 47 4
1509 Some people say I'm a bit heavy handed." 1.2736 0.03797 201 155 37 9
1510 ...and the Fourth Movement: "graziano ma non marciano." 1.2736 0.03727 212 164 38 10
1511 I will now play Rachy 3. 1.2736 0.04125 212 171 24 17
1512 Raymond is undefeated in the spinet division but now faces a big challenge in a higher weight class. 1.2736 0.03666 212 163 40 9
1513 Shall I play some selections from the boxed set? 1.2736 0.03903 212 167 32 13
1514 This next piece will be performed in 12 rounds. 1.2735 0.03604 223 172 41 10
1515 Staccato? 1.2735 0.03715 223 174 37 12
1516 My next piece will be a Concerto in 15 Movements, or Until the Referee Stops the Concert. 1.2732 0.04113 183 143 30 10
1517 Personally, I thought it was a knock-out performance. 1.2732 0.03810 183 139 38 6
1518 Mother wanted me to be a pianist. Father wanted a pugilist, so I learned to punch the keys. 1.2732 0.03816 194 149 37 8
1519 There will be a 1 minute intermission between each of my 10 pieces. 1.2732 0.04151 194 154 27 13
1520 The next piece is titled 'Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2732 0.03745 194 148 39 7
1521 This is one I call 'Beethoven's 9th Round.' 1.2732 0.03747 205 158 38 9
1522 My mother wanted a pianist.....my father wanted a pugilist. 1.2732 0.03747 205 158 38 9
1523 Now for the main event, ... 1.2731 0.03561 216 165 43 8
1524 Playing with ten fingers is easy. 1.2731 0.03506 227 174 44 9
1525 This next piece is called Holidays at the In-Laws." 1.2727 0.04145 176 137 30 9
1526 Good Evening Folks, this is the first time I've played at a "Fight Club." 1.2727 0.03757 187 142 39 6
1527 Punch it again Sam. 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
1528 Anyone else got any smart remarks ? 1.2727 0.03832 198 153 36 9
1529 Wait, downbeat? I thought you said beat-down. 1.2727 0.03963 198 155 32 11
1530 I'm a lover and a fighter. 1.2723 0.03477 224 171 45 8
1531 I present my new composition "Trumps attempts to hit the right chords" 1.2723 0.03943 213 169 30 14
1532 This next song is alittle more up beat. 1.2723 0.03590 213 163 42 8
1533 And this time, you had better applaud. 1.2723 0.03712 213 165 38 10
1534 I know what you're thinking. 1.2723 0.03648 202 154 41 7
1535 For my first piece, I will be playing an adaptation of the "Rocky Theme" 1.2723 0.03971 202 159 31 12
1536 And now in Fortississimo. 1.2723 0.03780 202 156 37 9
1537 Not to mention I've never learned to read music. 1.2719 0.03707 228 179 36 13
1538 My next piece will be ‘Chopsticks - The Hard Way 1.2719 0.03665 217 168 39 10
1539 You could say I'm digitally-challenged. 1.2719 0.03780 217 170 35 12
1540 Don't worry, I can Handel myself 1.2718 0.03667 206 158 40 8
1541 Well, I only minored in music. My degree is in the martial arts. 1.2718 0.03667 206 158 40 8
1542 I always wanted to beat the band. 1.2718 0.03856 206 161 34 11
1543 This is why it is called The Unfinished Symphony. 1.2718 0.04002 195 153 31 11
1544 And now, a Canto from Ezra Pound. 1.2718 0.04002 195 153 31 11
1545 This next piece, inspired by John Cage, is called Bruised Piano 1.2718 0.03799 195 150 37 8
1546 And now, a fantasie by Franz Liszton. 1.2718 0.03868 195 151 35 9
1547 And now, Requiem for a Heavyweight for piano and gloves! 1.2718 0.03936 195 152 33 10
1548 When you're as great as I am, you really should have some kind of handicap. 1.2717 0.04093 184 144 30 10
1549 The precision may not be quite adequate but fortissimos are exeptional ! 1.2716 0.03453 232 178 45 9
1550 My last piece is entitled "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee." 1.2715 0.03894 221 176 30 15
1551 And for my next piece; 'Rocky V' in A minor. 1.2715 0.03676 221 172 38 11
1552 Now for tonight’ s last request : BADDA-BING, BADDA -BANG. 1.2715 0.03676 221 172 38 11
1553 Schubert has requested a rematch. 1.2714 0.03557 210 160 43 7
1554 I thought they said pugilist. 1.2714 0.03864 210 165 33 12
1555 My counter punch is much better than my counter point. 1.2714 0.03744 210 163 37 10
1556 Tonight, I'll be going fifteeen rounds with the Schoenberg. 1.2714 0.03805 210 164 35 11
1557 Wait until the gloves come off. 1.2714 0.03610 199 151 42 6
1558 This one's for you in the box seats. 1.2714 0.03946 199 156 32 11
1559 Here's a song that packs a punch. 1.2714 0.03680 199 152 40 7
1560 Next will be the theme from Rocky 1.2713 0.04032 188 147 31 10
1561 I will now play the Mike Tyson Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.2713 0.03815 188 144 37 7
1562 There will be copies of my box-set available in the lobby after the show! 1.2712 0.04124 177 138 30 9
1563 The Boxing Ring Cycle 1.2711 0.03631 225 175 39 11
1564 I will now play Sonata in B Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.2711 0.03631 225 175 39 11
1565 Never steal from the casino the night you’re scheduled to play piano there. 1.2711 0.03739 225 177 35 13
1566 Next, my take on the theme from "Rocky." 1.2711 0.03739 225 177 35 13
1567 It's easier than the violin. 1.2710 0.03813 214 168 34 12
1568 And now, something a little more lightweight. 1.2710 0.03387 214 161 48 5
1569 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to play for you my interpretation of Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.2710 0.03813 214 168 34 12
1570 And now I shall attempt Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2710 0.03870 214 169 32 13
1571 And now a little piece I call the "The Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2709 0.03828 203 158 35 10
1572 For my next number I would like to play a new composition I call "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2709 0.03632 203 155 41 7
1573 This next piece will knock you out! 1.2708 0.03905 192 149 34 9
1574 Now I’d like to pummel my own interpretation of ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’.” 1.2708 0.04042 192 151 30 11
1575 And now, something in tempo "pugilissimo". 1.2708 0.03689 192 146 40 6
1576 You asked for a heavy hitter! 1.2708 0.03974 192 150 32 10
1577 And now a selection from Madame Float-like-a-Butterfly. 1.2707 0.03534 229 177 42 10
1578 I'll just knock out a quick sonata before dinner. 1.2706 0.03764 218 171 35 12
1579 Each song will be followed by a 1-minute intermission. 1.2706 0.03592 218 168 41 9
1580 Let's get ready to Rachmaninoff! 1.2706 0.03929 218 174 29 15
1581 I'm now going to pound out some Mozart. 1.2705 0.03715 207 160 38 9
1582 Raging Bach 1.2705 0.03900 207 163 32 12
1583 I call this one Rach'em-Sock'em-Maninoff. 1.2705 0.03715 207 160 38 9
1584 Next will be my Mohammed Ali "Flight of the Butterfly" 1.2705 0.03651 207 159 40 8
1585 And now for the Cantata Pugilisto 1.2704 0.03918 196 153 33 10
1586 I had to struggle with this piece... 1.2704 0.03984 196 154 31 11
1587 And then I hear my ex-wife laughing in the audience, and then I wake up--every time. 1.2704 0.04113 196 156 27 13
1588 I don't know why, but tonight I feel like I'm all thumbs. 1.2704 0.03641 196 149 41 6
1589 To unlock the premium concert experience, please open the app and select the $3.99 in-app upgrade. 1.2703 0.04074 185 145 30 10
1590 And now, a heavy-handed version of Jingle Bells. 1.2703 0.03662 222 173 38 11
1591 And now, the Muhammad Allegro. 1.2703 0.03878 222 177 30 15
1592 I predict it will end in the sixth measure." 1.2701 0.03606 211 162 41 8
1593 Be quiet please, I'm going to knock out a few tunes for you. 1.2701 0.03606 211 162 41 8
1594 And now the theme music from Rocky 1.2701 0.03668 211 163 39 9
1595 Please hold your applause until I've finished. 1.2701 0.03848 211 166 33 12
1596 Now, I shall float like a butterfly and sting like the 'Flight of the Bumblebee" 1.2700 0.03295 237 180 50 7
1597 Power chords are my forté! 1.2699 0.03507 226 174 43 9
1598 I apologize for that last prelude. Now, on to box the ill-tempered clavier. 1.2699 0.03562 226 175 41 10
1599 This next piece is one I wrote for my ex-wife called "you should have signed the prenup" 1.2698 0.04083 189 149 29 11
1600 ...and now for my most-difficult piece... 1.2698 0.03854 215 170 32 13
1601 My insurance carrier insists I take special care to protect my hands since my career depends on it. 1.2697 0.03946 178 137 34 7
1602 For my next piece, I shall float like a butterfly and sting in the key of B flat. 1.2696 0.03936 204 161 31 12
1603 We shall now experience the atonal grandeur of the Rocky Variations. 1.2696 0.03683 204 157 39 8
1604 And now, a piece titled "Yo Adrian!" 1.2696 0.03521 230 178 42 10
1605 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto no. 2- twelfth round. 1.2694 0.04090 193 153 28 12
1606 My next number will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.2694 0.03673 193 147 40 6
1607 Next, my rendition of The Nutcracker. 1.2692 0.03762 208 162 36 10
1608 And now, I will once again play the theme from Jaws 1.2692 0.03762 208 162 36 10
1609 I’d like to slow things down a bit. Then speed back up. Then a left. A right. Another left... 1.2692 0.03883 208 164 32 12
1610 And now, Round 3 of selections from my complete boxed set! 1.2692 0.03823 208 163 34 11
1611 I shall now play my new composition, 'Lullaby for Mike Tyson'. 1.2692 0.04401 182 147 21 14
1612 And a little bit softer now... 1.2692 0.03942 208 165 30 13
1613 Ladies and Gentlemen: Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer. 1.2692 0.03699 208 161 38 9
1614 This is how I avoid carpal tunnel syndrome. 1.2692 0.03636 208 160 40 8
1615 I will now perform a piece by JS Box 1.2691 0.03591 223 173 40 10
1616 This one is called 'I'm gonna smash your face', in G minor. 1.2690 0.04031 197 156 29 12
1617 Ladies & Gentlemen...Wolf Gang Amadeuuuuuuus Mozart ! 1.2690 0.03696 197 151 39 7
1618 Si, let me pound out a few tunes for you. 1.2690 0.03833 197 153 35 9
1619 This next round is from the work of TKOvsky 1.2690 0.03553 197 149 43 5
1620 Should anyone in the audience fail to appreciate this beautiful musical piece, I must advise you that there will be consequences. 1.2690 0.03833 197 153 35 9
1621 And now, I shall play Beethoven's Fifth Round 1.2690 0.03696 197 151 39 7
1622 My current album comes in a boxed set 1.2688 0.03833 186 143 36 7
1623 Let's get ready to treble! 1.2688 0.03982 186 145 32 9
1624 For my finale, I will perform: "Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee." 1.2687 0.03814 227 181 31 15
1625 They said my performance was a knockout! 1.2687 0.03509 201 152 44 5
1626 And for my next piece, 'Float like a butterfly, sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2687 0.03782 201 156 36 9
1627 This one is dedicated to my lovely ex-wife. 1.2684 0.03995 190 149 31 10
1628 This next nocturne is scheduled for 10 rounds. 1.2684 0.03706 190 145 39 6
1629 And now a little tune from Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2684 0.03925 190 148 33 9
1630 So, how does your school’s fight song go?” 1.2684 0.03453 231 178 44 9
1631 Now, this next tune may ring a bell. 1.2683 0.04246 164 128 28 8
1632 You requested Roberto Duran Duran? 1.2683 0.03795 205 160 35 10
1633 I need my mouthpiece! 1.2683 0.03919 205 162 31 12
1634 And now for a blow by blow rendition of Schubert's Three Military Marches, Opus 51. 1.2683 0.04156 205 166 23 16
1635 Now for some minimalism. 1.2682 0.03621 220 171 39 10
1636 Can anyone help me find middle C? 1.2682 0.03844 220 175 31 14
1637 Thank you. And now, this one will just knock you out. 1.2681 0.03251 235 178 51 6
1638 My next piece will attempt to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2681 0.03414 235 181 45 9
1639 And now, Rockymanenough Piano Concerto no. 2 1.2681 0.03621 235 185 37 13
1640 And now for "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.2680 0.04071 194 154 28 12
1641 And we start our session with Chopin’s “Barcarrolle in F Sharp Jab to the Right. 1.2680 0.03507 194 146 44 4
1642 And now, for my rendition of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2679 0.03746 209 163 36 10
1643 Minuet for two thumbs. 1.2679 0.03684 209 162 38 9
1644 …called Migraine in A Major. 1.2679 0.03746 209 163 36 10
1645 Chopsticks it is then! 1.2678 0.03479 239 186 42 11
1646 Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what I learned from Viktor Borge. 1.2677 0.03680 198 152 39 7
1647 This next number really hits hard. 1.2676 0.03698 213 166 37 10
1648 Let's get ready to crescendo! 1.2675 0.03424 228 175 45 8
1649 I said Bach, not box. 1.2674 0.04193 172 135 28 9
1650 If anybody shouts, "Yo, Adrian," you will be removed from the premises. 1.2673 0.03894 202 159 32 11
1651 Trump Concerto in F Minor 1.2673 0.04079 202 162 26 14
1652 Now I know what Theresa May must feel like. 1.2673 0.03830 202 158 34 10
1653 I shall now attempt the dreaded Rachy III 1.2673 0.03894 202 159 32 11
1654 Sonata in the key of Ali 1.2673 0.03709 217 170 36 11
1655 Knocked out Bethoven's Fifth. 1.2673 0.03823 217 172 32 13
1656 ...and to conclude, here is the Welterweight Waltz in B-flat Major. 1.2673 0.03652 217 169 38 10
1657 And now I will transition from tickling the ivories to punching them 1.2670 0.03835 191 148 35 8
1658 Welcome to our Boxng Day concert. 1.2670 0.03963 206 164 29 13
1659 And now for something 'molto energetico e furioso' ! 1.2670 0.03841 206 162 33 11
1660 It's just a little number I came up with for Boxing Day this year. 1.2670 0.03903 206 163 31 12
1661 Ok, I'm gonna' need an eight count for this next one... 1.2670 0.03774 221 175 33 13
1662 And now for round three. 1.2670 0.03549 221 171 41 9
1663 In this final piece, I will be combining The Art of the Fugue with the Queensberry Rules. 1.2670 0.03491 221 170 43 8
1664 And now, in memory of Rod Serling, Anthony Quinn, Jackie Gleason and Mickey Rooney: Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1665 The gloves, sir, are to protect my hands. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1666 I will now play some Black & Blues. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1667 This final movement, a rondo played in robust fortissimo, delivers a real knockout! 1.2667 0.03212 225 169 52 4
1668 This next song is a punchy little number ... 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1669 My next piece is John Cage's 4'33 1.2667 0.03783 195 151 36 8
1670 I call this one Too Many Notes 1.2667 0.03987 195 154 30 11
1671 This is a little something my three-year-old wrote... 1.2667 0.03827 180 138 36 6
1672 And now, a couple of rounds with Shoenberg. 1.2664 0.03800 214 169 33 12
1673 You should hear me play when the gloves come off 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1674 Boo me one more time - I dare you! 1.2664 0.03623 214 166 39 9
1675 And now something more contemporary... 1.2664 0.03857 214 170 31 13
1676 This evening instead of tickling the ivories I will be punching them. 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1677 Promise you, next song is a knockout. 1.2664 0.03436 214 163 45 6
1678 And one more time, the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth. 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1679 Down goes Mozart! 1.2663 0.03931 199 157 31 11
1680 Now I will play a theme from Rocky. 1.2663 0.04076 184 145 29 10
1681 I will now perform the Nocturne Pugilistica by Sugar Ray Mozart. 1.2663 0.03928 184 143 33 8
1682 Clair de lune? What key? 1.2663 0.03852 184 142 35 7
1683 My performance will float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2661 0.03807 218 173 32 13
1684 Last, here's my rendition of that old favorite: "There's a Bull in the China Shop." 1.2661 0.03578 218 169 40 9
1685 I call this next piece, “The Stomping Elephant” 1.2660 0.03617 203 156 40 7
1686 And now, Rockymaninoff’s IVth 1.2660 0.03877 203 160 32 11
1687 Welcome to Rocky in E minor 1.2660 0.03814 203 159 34 10
1688 Yes, I lost a bet and yes, you can get a ticket refund. 1.2658 0.03535 222 172 41 9
1689 I thought you said this was a fight song... 1.2657 0.03825 207 163 33 11
1690 I'll now play the 3rd movement of Muhammad Ali's second symphony 1.2657 0.03763 207 162 35 10
1691 ...and while I am entirely grateful to Modells for underwriting this concert, I do feel compelled to mention that there were certain strings attached.... 1.2657 0.03505 207 158 43 6
1692 This piano and I haven't been getting along lately... 1.2657 0.03763 207 162 35 10
1693 and now...Brahms' Second Concerto in Knocked Flat. 1.2657 0.03636 207 160 39 8
1694 Yo, Adrian! I did it! 1.2657 0.03946 207 165 29 13
1695 I thought you said "_Box_ Sonata"! 1.2657 0.03825 207 163 33 11
1696 And for my next number, a knockout version of Moonlight Sonata. 1.2654 0.03591 211 163 40 8
1697 'I will now play 'Silent Night'. 1.2654 0.03893 211 168 30 13
1698 Can somebody give me a hand? 1.2654 0.03715 211 165 36 10
1699 Any request? 1.2653 0.03902 196 154 32 10
1700 And, now, something a little punchy. 1.2653 0.03624 196 150 40 6
1701 My next number is the Carpal Tunnel Suite. 1.2653 0.03902 196 154 32 10
1702 Here's a little something for those of you who like less definition. 1.2651 0.03668 215 168 37 10
1703 Contrary to what others believe, Mr. Trump believes a pianist plays just as well with boxing gloves as without. While I don't expect to convince him, I will try to prove to others this just isn't true. 1.2651 0.03547 215 166 41 8
1704 I apologize, the gloves proved much more difficult to take off than to put on. 1.2650 0.03648 200 154 39 7
1705 Up next, my classical one-two combo. 1.2650 0.03578 200 153 41 6
1706 . . . my own composition, an atonal 'Ode to Donald' . 1.2649 0.04199 185 148 25 12
1707 Let me know if you don't like this one. 1.2648 0.03505 219 169 42 8
1708 What do you mean there's no punchline? 1.2647 0.03860 204 161 32 11
1709 My next piece is played fortissississimo. 1.2647 0.03922 204 162 30 12
1710 It's more of a Box-trot. 1.2647 0.03668 204 158 38 8
1711 This next one will be a bit punchier than the last. 1.2647 0.03733 204 159 36 9
1712 And now, The Dance of the Butterfly, by Muhammad Ali 1.2647 0.03983 204 163 28 13
1713 To start with, I'll just knock out a little sonata. 1.2647 0.03534 204 156 42 6
1714 You might recognize this Paul Simon cover 1.2647 0.03668 204 158 38 8
1715 Tickling the ivories? Uh, no. I don't think so. 1.2646 0.03464 223 172 43 8
1716 And now for Rockymaniovs's Concerto No. 3 1.2646 0.03926 189 148 32 9
1717 And now I'm going to knock out one of my old favorites. 1.2646 0.03780 189 146 36 7
1718 And now for my next piece, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.’ 1.2646 0.04203 189 152 24 13
1719 These piece symbolizes both internal and external conflict 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1720 Now here's a little ditty from my boxed set. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1721 I'm taking requests for fight songs 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1722 Franz Lizst bangs the Piano with his Fizst. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1723 Now a little something from Wagner’s “Ring of the Mittelveight”. 1.2642 0.03656 193 148 39 6
1724 And now The Mike Tyson Overture. 1.2642 0.03818 212 168 32 12
1725 The record shows I took the blows and did it myyyyyy waaaayyyy 1.2642 0.03759 212 167 34 11
1726 And now my medley of college fight songs. 1.2642 0.03513 212 163 42 7
1727 Tonight I will be playing selections from Wagner’s Ring Cycle 1.2642 0.03759 212 167 34 11
1728 But you said you wanted a more punchy arrangement! 1.2640 0.03762 178 136 37 5
1729 As Beethoven famously asked, “Do you want a piece of me?” 1.2640 0.03749 197 153 36 8
1730 The gloves come off when you start clapping. 1.2640 0.03818 197 154 34 9
1731 And not without a smattering of irony. 1.2640 0.03536 197 150 42 5
1732 Now a little music for Boxing Day. 1.2640 0.03885 197 155 32 10
1733 It would be best if you sang in rounds. 1.2639 0.03711 216 170 35 11
1734 My next piece is a bout . . . 1.2637 0.03700 201 156 37 8
1735 You should see the keys!! 1.2637 0.03960 201 160 29 12
1736 Now I’d like to play music from The Ring. 1.2637 0.03896 201 159 31 11
1737 I said I was a pugilist not a pianist! 1.2636 0.03665 220 173 36 11
1738 You were expecting maybe the guy with the candlabra? 1.2636 0.03550 220 171 40 9
1739 Get ready to rumble 1.2636 0.03491 220 170 42 8
1740 And now more favorites from the life of Joe Louis! 1.2636 0.03468 239 187 41 11
1741 Shubert's Piano Sonata No. 21 in B-flat major, Trump technique. 1.2634 0.04109 186 148 27 11
1742 Let’s get ready to rondo! 1.2634 0.03717 205 160 36 9
1743 The sudden realization of having forgotten to zip. 1.2634 0.03729 224 178 33 13
1744 Anvil Chorus, anyone? 1.2634 0.03450 224 173 43 8
1745 And now, Balboa's piano concerto in C, B, B flat, A, A flat and G" 1.2634 0.03887 224 181 27 16
1746 ...in the key of b-c-d-e-f 1.2634 0.03564 224 175 39 10
1747 And now for a sonata by Serge Rockymaninoff. 1.2632 0.03912 209 167 29 13
1748 I fought my whole life to get on a stage like this! 1.2632 0.03669 209 163 37 9
1749 Just warming up 1.2632 0.03669 209 163 37 9
1750 I call this next piece, “The Fight of The Bumblebee “. 1.2632 0.03853 209 166 31 12
1751 And now for Round 2 of tonight's performance. 1.2632 0.03467 228 177 42 9
1752 Oh, I thought it was “Fight of the Bumblebee” ! 1.2629 0.03535 232 182 39 11
1753 My next piece is the theme from ‘Rocky’! 1.2629 0.03743 213 168 34 11
1754 And now my knockout sonata. 1.2629 0.03561 213 165 40 8
1755 Naturally I belt out music. 1.2629 0.03499 213 164 42 7
1756 I will now play 'Sonata in D minor', by George Foreman. 1.2629 0.03783 194 151 35 8
1757 And now ladies and gentlemen the Ali Fraser concerto 1.2629 0.03639 194 149 39 6
1758 I'm afraid my performance will be a little rocky 1.2629 0.04249 194 158 21 15
1759 And my next piece will be "Uppercut in D Minor" 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1760 And now a little something I wrote for Boxing Day. 1.2627 0.03579 217 169 39 9
1761 This next piece was composed by the great Muhammad Ali. 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1762 Sorry I'm late, folks! I had to fight my way through traffic. 1.2627 0.03638 217 170 37 10
1763 I'll knock out one more tune prior to intermission. 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1764 Some consider my interpretation to be aggressive 1.2626 0.03933 198 157 30 11
1765 Allow me to punch something out for your listening pleasure. 1.2626 0.03372 198 149 46 3
1766 Agreed--but wait till you hear my double glissando. 1.2624 0.03536 221 172 40 9
1767 After I am done here, dis piano will be nuttin but chopstiks 1.2623 0.03852 183 142 34 7
1768 I was told to give the ivories a good pounding. 1.2623 0.03929 183 143 32 8
1769 They wanted me to stop tickling the ivories 1.2621 0.03701 206 161 36 9
1770 It's a knockout tune. 1.2621 0.03636 206 160 38 8
1771 I thought you requested the "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2621 0.03827 206 163 32 11
1772 And now, the theme song I wrote for "Rocky," which was unfortunately rejected. 1.2620 0.03341 229 176 46 7
1773 Thank you. This next piece floats like a butterfly but stings like a bee. 1.2619 0.03776 210 166 33 11
1774 I'm still working on the hook. 1.2619 0.03836 210 167 31 12
1775 I am thrilled to be performing my first concert since completing my twelve step anti nose picking program. 1.2617 0.03547 214 166 40 8
1776 This next piece is titled, "Theme from Rocky". 1.2617 0.03728 214 169 34 11
1777 And now, for my final piece, The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2617 0.03421 214 164 44 6
1778 Taking the gloves off is not mentioned in the composer’s original manuscript. 1.2617 0.03421 214 164 44 6
1779 Music box? 1.2617 0.03669 214 168 36 10
1780 My next piece will be the theme from Rocky. 1.2616 0.03429 237 185 42 10
1781 This next piece is by Pugiliski 1.2615 0.03623 195 150 39 6
1782 This will be on the forte end of pianoforte, okay?" 1.2615 0.03623 195 150 39 6
1783 ...and now, "Brahms' Lullaby". 1.2615 0.03904 195 154 31 10
1784 Now here's one that'll really knock your socks off 1.2615 0.03504 218 169 41 8
1785 And you thought Ray Charles had it hard! 1.2615 0.03623 218 171 37 10
1786 I'm hoping this will strike a chord with you. 1.2615 0.03738 218 173 33 12
1787 This next piece is a banger. 1.2615 0.03681 218 172 35 11
1788 My next piece, Schumann's Toccata in C Major, is dedicated to my first piano teacher who told my mother I was all thumbs. 1.2613 0.03647 199 154 38 7
1789 And now, Ladies and Gentleman, I will take a stab at the notoriously difficult "Etude Brute." 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
1790 I will now play the classic theme from ROCKY. 1.2613 0.03716 199 155 36 8
1791 I will now perform the Victor Borge Concerto 1.2613 0.04043 199 160 26 13
1792 Which one of you yelled, 'I want the hits'? 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
1793 My ‘knockturno’ interpretation is quite dramatic. 1.2613 0.03647 199 154 38 7
1794 And now, I would like to play you something from my pugilistic period. 1.2613 0.03463 222 172 42 8
1795 Tough piece. 1.2611 0.03734 203 159 35 9
1796 As you may have surmised...No, I,don’t have insurance for my hands. 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1797 Last time this piece got the better of me..... 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1798 I'd like to start tonight's Jerry Lee Lewis tribute with an old favorite 1.2611 0.03480 226 176 41 9
1799 And now "he Theme from Wagner's "THE RING" 1.2609 0.04107 207 169 22 16
1800 This sonata will knock you out. 1.2609 0.03621 207 161 38 8
1801 They said I should "punch it up." 1.2607 0.03381 211 161 45 5
1802 Next up is a really punchy tune. 1.2607 0.03512 211 163 41 7
1803 And now, ladies and gentlemen: Für Evander. 1.2607 0.03879 211 169 29 13
1804 This next one is by Rockymaninoff 1.2606 0.03927 188 148 31 9
1805 ‘Some say I am the Mike Tyson of the keys.’ 1.2606 0.03626 188 144 39 5
1806 Well, tickling the ivories wasn't working! 1.2605 0.03468 238 187 40 11
1807 Now, I'll knock out the encore. 1.2605 0.03653 215 169 36 10
1808 Management wanted me to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2605 0.03594 215 168 38 9
1809 What can I say? When I play "The Boxer" I have to get into character. 1.2605 0.03653 215 169 36 10
1810 And now I'd like to play a little sonata of my own composition called "Golden Gloves" in the keys of C through G. 1.2605 0.03828 215 172 30 13
1811 My other job is a hand model. 1.2605 0.03594 215 168 38 9
1812 I will next do battle with Rachmaninoff's No. 3 1.2604 0.03728 192 149 36 7
1813 I bet you've never heard the 1812 Overture on the piano! 1.2603 0.03723 219 174 33 12
1814 This next one goes out to ADRIAAAAAAN! 1.2603 0.03490 219 170 41 8
1815 How do you folks feel about tone clusters? 1.2603 0.03550 219 171 39 9
1816 My next number will be a one hit wonder. 1.2602 0.03819 196 154 33 9
1817 I will now do my performance art version of "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2602 0.03679 196 152 37 7
1818 The latest OSHA regulation. 1.2602 0.03953 196 156 29 11
1819 They said make the finale more punchy! 1.2602 0.03679 196 152 37 7
1820 ...And by special request, I'll be playing the theme to "Rocky". 1.2601 0.03565 223 175 38 10
1821 The next piece will be a bit bombastic.... 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1822 This is how I knock out the hits. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1823 You requested more punch? 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1824 I did it myyyyyyy wayyyyyyy 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1825 For your listening pleasure, I'll knock out a few oldies. 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1826 Rockymaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Pugilism. 1.2600 0.04087 200 162 24 14
1827 I will now play from Wagner's Ring Cycle. Round One. 1.2599 0.03467 227 177 41 9
1828 And now, my unique version of "Sock It ToMe! 1.2598 0.03517 204 157 41 6
1829 For my next number, I will play the theme from "Rocky." 1.2598 0.04029 204 165 25 14
1830 It's all in the wrist. 1.2596 0.03732 208 164 34 10
1831 Now I will play ‘Fight of the bumblebee’ better known as ‘Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.’ 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1832 playing piano is nothing compared to getting dressed. 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1833 I never liked the piano 1.2596 0.03732 208 164 34 10
1834 And now finally Mr. President, a special piece for you -- a little atonal number you might recall, 'One is the Loneliest Number.' 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1835 With so many Messiahs to compete with I dedicate this next piece to the Electoral College. 1.2596 0.03442 235 184 41 10
1836 The next piece will be three minutes long. 1.2595 0.03815 185 144 34 7
1837 What - you don't like Punchini? 1.2595 0.03815 185 144 34 7
1838 Not to brag, but this concerto will be over in one round. 1.2594 0.03368 212 162 45 5
1839 And now, for the 'modern music' portion of our program .... 1.2594 0.03685 212 167 35 10
1840 It needs a good tune up. 1.2594 0.03623 212 166 37 9
1841 Staccato, you said? 1.2594 0.03561 212 165 39 8
1842 The starting note is "ding ding ding". 1.2594 0.03498 212 164 41 7
1843 I would like to begin my Simon and Garfunkel medley with “The Boxer”. 1.2593 0.03394 216 166 44 6
1844 I’ll do the next song a cappella. 1.2593 0.03909 189 149 31 9
1845 Now for the couple at the cozy corner table, some tunes to fight by 1.2593 0.03755 216 172 32 12
1846 As my hero said, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Flight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2593 0.03687 189 146 37 6
1847 I am leaving. I am leaving. 1.2593 0.03518 216 168 40 8
1848 That was the 'pianissimo.' 1.2591 0.03536 220 172 39 9
1849 I can assure you - you've never heard chopsticks as I am about to perform it! 1.2591 0.03763 220 176 31 13
1850 This time I'm going to play something a bit more punchy. 1.2591 0.03854 193 152 32 9
1851 I haven't worked out every note on this next piece, but I'm very passionate about it. 1.2591 0.03784 193 151 34 8
1852 I will now play ‘the Boxer’ written by Simon and Garfunkel! In D flat. 1.2591 0.03784 193 151 34 8
1853 I'm thrilled to finally reach the "Knock-Out Round" of this prestigious competition. 1.2589 0.03436 224 174 42 8
1854 Let’s get ready to rumbaaaaa! 1.2589 0.03436 224 174 42 8
1855 ...and now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ 1.2589 0.03935 197 157 29 11
1856 I could a been a contender... 1.2589 0.03518 197 151 41 5
1857 And now I will knock out the rest of the ring cycle 1.2589 0.03591 197 152 39 6
1858 As for the reviewer who suggested my repertoire lacked punch.… 1.2588 0.03454 228 178 41 9
1859 It helps with the nail-biting. 1.2588 0.03397 228 177 43 8
1860 What happens in Piano club...stays in piano club. 1.2587 0.03881 201 160 30 11
1861 I will now play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2587 0.03881 201 160 30 11
1862 In the spirit of this Holiday Concert, and to celebrate the diversity of the season, I will now perform a special Boxing Day carol. 1.2587 0.03944 201 161 28 12
1863 My next number is the "beat goes on" 1.2587 0.03751 201 158 34 9
1864 Take that, Mr. Rachmaninoff...... 1.2586 0.03627 232 185 34 13
1865 It's 'Chopsticks' but with a 3.2 degree of difficulty. 1.2586 0.03469 232 182 40 10
1866 And now, by request, LaMotta Sonata. 1.2586 0.03678 232 186 32 14
1867 I always wear these when I play the theme song from Rocky. 1.2585 0.03570 205 159 39 7
1868 And next, I would like to pound out a tune on my old piano... 1.2585 0.03636 205 160 37 8
1869 Now I’ll knock out another song for you. 1.2585 0.03636 205 160 37 8
1870 What did you think "Ring Cycle" meant? 1.2585 0.03701 205 161 35 9
1871 Tonight I will be playing selections from “The Divorce of Figaro”. 1.2585 0.03766 205 162 33 10
1872 I'm ready to Bachs. 1.2585 0.03829 205 163 31 11
1873 And now I present to you: knuckle-sandwich, in C minor. 1.2584 0.03591 209 163 38 8
1874 The next selection is by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2584 0.03898 209 168 28 13
1875 And finally, the punchline. 1.2584 0.03778 209 166 32 11
1876 ...and for my next piece, here's 'Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2584 0.03591 209 163 38 8
1877 And now ladies and gentlemen, Tchaikovsky’s ‘Incompetent Piano Movers’ in G Minor. 1.2583 0.03591 240 192 34 14
1878 While my scales may have suffered, my arpeggios are to die for! 1.2583 0.03392 240 188 42 10
1879 Oh, I'll hit the right note alright! 1.2582 0.03484 213 165 41 7
1880 Guess I grabbed the wrong bag at the airport 1.2581 0.03873 186 146 32 8
1881 It is the insurance company's rule. 1.2581 0.03564 217 170 38 9
1882 For my next number, I will play Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar. 1.2579 0.03580 221 174 37 10
1883 Float Like a Tchaikovsky, sting like a Beethoven 1.2577 0.03837 194 153 32 9
1884 Want to hear a punchy tune? 1.2577 0.03837 194 153 32 9
1885 The judges had warned Marcel that his habit of picking his nose between sets made the other contestants uneasy. Yet their solution seemed harsh....and made it difficult for him to compete. 1.2577 0.03906 194 154 30 10
1886 My finale will be a unique, spirited medley of fight songs. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1887 let's hit it again 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1888 And now I shall play Wagner... 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1889 Yes, I'm Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1890 We've had a request for the National Anthem. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1891 And now, for the Flight of the Pugilist. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1892 We're going to pick up the pace. For the next number, I'm going to play something a little more punchy. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1893 They all laughed when I sat down at the piano... 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1894 He'd do anything for a hit song 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1895 For this next piece you might want to turn down the volume on your cellphones. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1896 My next piece is entitled, "The Boxer Rebellion." 1.2575 0.03613 233 186 34 13
1897 This one is called ‘Sonata in ABCDEFG’ 1.2574 0.03927 202 162 28 12
1898 And now, "Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee" 1.2574 0.03800 202 160 32 10
1899 I guess I'll just roll with the punches 1.2574 0.03668 202 158 36 8
1900 Here's a punchy little number I think you'll like. 1.2574 0.03864 202 161 30 11
1901 Pianissimo forget about it, Fortissimo I got..... 1.2574 0.03201 237 182 49 6
1902 This one'll be a knock out. 1.2573 0.03555 206 160 39 7
1903 I call this piece "Etude in the Key of Everything." 1.2573 0.03749 206 163 33 10
1904 For my next number, I'd like a stool, a mouthpiece and a round girl from the audience.... 1.2573 0.03621 206 161 37 8
1905 And now, Beethoven’s Right Hook, in D. 1.2571 0.03762 210 167 32 11
1906 Float like a Puccini, sting like a Rimsky-Korsakov...? 1.2571 0.04418 175 143 19 13
1907 Now I will play for you 'Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2571 0.03762 210 167 32 11
1908 And now I'd like to play Black and Blue Suede Shoes 1.2570 0.03594 214 168 37 9
1909 I have a love- hate relationship with the piano 1.2570 0.03532 214 167 39 8
1910 As a former boxer, I will play the next piece in my favorite key. B flat. 1.2570 0.03654 214 169 35 10
1911 I prefer to pound rather than tickle the ivories! 1.2570 0.03532 214 167 39 8
1912 And now Mister President, I shall play the “Minute Waltz” in 47 seconds. 1.2569 0.03490 218 170 40 8
1913 Everyone now...supercali-pugilistic-expialidocious... 1.2569 0.03836 218 176 28 14
1914 I could play this with one hand tied behind my back. 1.2569 0.03429 218 169 42 7
1915 Let me welcome you to our annual Boxing Day concert 1.2569 0.03550 218 171 38 9
1916 Here’s a little something I wrote that requires playing a lot of consecutive keys at the same time. 1.2568 0.03508 222 174 39 9
1917 I float like a butterfly but sting in B-minor 1.2568 0.03508 222 174 39 9
1918 Did someone request, The Boxer? 1.2568 0.03389 222 172 43 7
1919 Tonight's performance is a tribute to Mohammad Ali 1.2567 0.03779 187 146 34 7
1920 Excuse me, this piano needs tuning! 1.2566 0.03523 226 178 38 10
1921 A-minor challenge 1.2565 0.03728 191 149 35 7
1922 And now I present Sibulski's Concerto in A minor, D minor, and E-flat major 1.2565 0.03943 191 152 29 10
1923 Next, I'll be playing a classic piece by Muhammad Ali. 1.2565 0.03590 230 183 35 12
1924 This next piece is a hit song. 1.2564 0.03334 234 182 44 8
1925 Down an octave goes Frazier! Down an octave goes Frazier! 1.2564 0.03334 234 182 44 8
1926 And now, Mozart's Sonata for middleweight southpaw in A Minor 1.2563 0.03244 238 184 47 7
1927 And now I will attempt to go twelve rounds with the piano. 1.2563 0.03560 199 154 39 6
1928 And now, for Chopin's Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2563 0.03900 199 159 29 11
1929 I will now play Box Prelude and Fugue in G Minor 1.2562 0.03910 203 163 28 12
1930 This is for the critic who called me ham handed 1.2562 0.03516 203 157 40 6
1931 Welcome to the White House holiday party! And please remember to protect yourselves at all times! 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1932 This one will knock you off your feet. 1.2560 0.03733 207 164 33 10
1933 That’s OK! I’m all thumbs anyways! 1.2560 0.03540 207 161 39 7
1934 It's for your protection and mine. 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1935 I don't know if I can play it in that key. 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1936 I'm sorry, I only play boxed sets. 1.2559 0.03685 211 167 34 10
1937 Due to recent OSHA regulations for Rachmaninoff... 1.2559 0.03685 211 167 34 10
1938 My new composition is a real knockout. 1.2558 0.03698 215 171 33 11
1939 Let me knock out a number for you! 1.2558 0.03518 215 168 39 8
1940 I will now perform "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.2557 0.03353 219 169 44 6
1941 And in this corner...Rocky Rachmaninoff !!! 1.2557 0.03820 219 177 28 14
1942 It is so damn hard to follow my dreams simultaneously. 1.2557 0.03765 219 176 30 13
1943 I shall now bust your Chopsticks. 1.2556 0.03663 223 178 33 12
1944 And now ladies and gentlemen, you may remove the complimentary earplugs. 1.2556 0.03436 223 174 41 8
1945 I will now perform Beat It. 1.2556 0.03436 223 174 41 8
1946 An now, a medley of “Rocky” theme songs. 1.2555 0.03619 227 181 34 12
1947 Excuse me while I pound out a few notes. 1.2555 0.03339 227 176 44 7
1948 Now for the old one two 1.2553 0.03376 235 184 42 9
1949 I really like to pound out the notes. 1.2553 0.03527 188 144 40 4
1950 I was thinking of the President when I wrote this piece, it’s really great. 1.2553 0.03585 235 188 34 13
1951 Chopsticks? Really. 1.2552 0.03783 192 151 33 8
1952 I’d like to punch out a few tunes from my new CD. 1.2552 0.03483 192 147 41 4
1953 I’m not sure Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” is supposed to be played like this.” 1.2552 0.03994 192 154 27 11
1954 And now some Gilbert and Sullivan melodies, as they might have been played by Jack Dempsey. 1.2552 0.03561 192 148 39 5
1955 This one's a bit punchy. 1.2552 0.03783 192 151 33 8
1956 They say my performance is a knock out. 1.2551 0.03802 196 155 32 9
1957 Of course I play by the Queensbury rules! 1.2551 0.03662 196 153 36 7
1958 In honor of Brexit, I will now play the piano version of "Bang the Drums Slowly." 1.2551 0.04068 196 159 24 13
1959 I’m gonna float like Madame Butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebees! 1.2550 0.03751 200 158 33 9
1960 Whew! Rough house! 1.2550 0.03325 200 152 45 3
1961 I alone can play it. 1.2550 0.03817 200 159 31 10
1962 This is Stravinsky - Symphony in three rounds. 1.2549 0.03636 204 160 36 8
1963 Sorry folks I’m all thumbs today 1.2549 0.03636 204 160 36 8
1964 Lllllllets get ready to rumbaaaaaa! 1.2549 0.03830 204 163 30 11
1965 Why do I do this? Because I can't sing or dance. 1.2549 0.03702 204 161 34 9
1966 Next! A college fight song composed by Joe Louis. 1.2548 0.03654 208 164 35 9
1967 And my next number will really knock you out! 1.2547 0.03790 212 170 30 12
1968 No, this is not a variant of the Suzuki Method; it is pure Tyson. 1.2547 0.03730 212 169 32 11
1969 Bear with me, I just had a mani-pedi. 1.2547 0.03418 212 164 42 6
1970 ...And in this corner weighing in at 1086lbs 1.2547 0.03608 212 167 36 9
1971 Let's get rrready to bumble! 1.2547 0.03670 212 168 34 10
1972 Oh, it was "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.2547 0.03730 212 169 32 11
1973 I will now play, Float Like A Butterfly,Sting like a Bee. 1.2546 0.03683 216 172 33 11
1974 It's the only way I can play the score to any of the Rocky movies. 1.2546 0.03564 216 170 37 9
1975 Sugar Ray Charles 1.2546 0.03564 216 170 37 9
1976 These ivories need more than tickling. 1.2546 0.03683 216 172 33 11
1977 A serenade for Boxing Day. 1.2546 0.03503 216 169 39 8
1978 Chopin's “Etude in G# minor Has always been a battle for me... 1.2546 0.03624 216 171 35 10
1979 This concert is going the full twelve rounds 1.2545 0.03402 220 171 42 7
1980 They're called Chopsticks preventers. 1.2545 0.03694 220 176 32 12
1981 Louie, Louie" again? Well, if you insist.. 1.2545 0.03593 224 178 35 11
1982 And now, variations on a theme by Marciano. 1.2545 0.03179 224 171 49 4
1983 Are you ready for some chin music 1.2545 0.03593 224 178 35 11
1984 of course I'm wearing a cup 1.2544 0.03605 228 182 34 12
1985 And now, a musical tribute to the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2543 0.03509 232 184 37 11
1986 And now a piece I call Für Muhammad Ali 1.2541 0.03718 185 144 35 6
1987 Let's see if you can stand me for 12 rounds. 1.2540 0.03668 189 147 36 6
1988 It's the most efficient way to play twelve-tone music 1.2540 0.04103 189 153 24 12
1989 This concert comes as a boxed set 1.2540 0.03591 189 146 38 5
1990 If he doesn't C sharp he’ll B flat. 1.2539 0.03907 193 154 29 10
1991 This is a heavyweight sonata 1.2539 0.03389 193 147 43 3
1992 This original composition will really knock you out. 1.2538 0.03574 197 153 38 6
1993 I should have put more thought into this career change. 1.2538 0.03574 197 153 38 6
1994 My music packs a real punch. 1.2538 0.03645 197 154 36 7
1995 Some football players do ballet in the off-season, I do this 1.2538 0.03785 197 156 32 9
1996 With so many notes, it's always a fight to the finish! 1.2538 0.03645 197 154 36 7
1997 ...and for my next piece I will play “Bling Blong Blaap Blorp” in C-minor 1.2537 0.03800 201 160 31 10
1998 I'll be playing Beethoven's Symphony No. 7 in A major. It may take awhile. 1.2537 0.03599 201 157 37 7
1999 I will now play the Joe Louis lullaby. 1.2537 0.03486 205 159 40 6
2000 Pacquiao's "A Little Fight Music" 1.2537 0.03554 205 160 38 7
2001 My next piece is titled 'Yo Adriana' " 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2002 I wouldn't say "tickling the keys" is my style. 1.2537 0.03554 205 160 38 7
2003 My encore is a real knockout! 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2004 I will now play a version of "Flight of the Bumblebee" , that I have restyled as "Romp of the Hippopotamus" 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2005 I shall now play Bach in the combative style. 1.2536 0.03510 209 163 39 7
2006 And now for Beethoven's Piano Sonata Number 1 in F-Minor-ish 1.2535 0.03593 213 168 36 9
2007 And now a little piece by Victor Borge. 1.2535 0.03655 213 169 34 10
2008 Here's a new song that'll really knock you out 1.2535 0.03550 217 171 37 9
2009 For my next number: Tyson's Overture in B-Flat on Your Back. 1.2535 0.03550 217 171 37 9
2010 Here's a Gershwin favorite that really knocks me out... 1.2535 0.03609 217 172 35 10
2011 And now our main event – Beethoven's Sonata in C minor, in 12 rounds 1.2535 0.03235 217 166 47 4
2012 This next number is called 'Fists of Fury'. 1.2534 0.03507 221 174 38 9
2013 For me, playing Chopin's Sonatas have always been a personal battle 1.2534 0.03388 221 172 42 7
2014 Yo, Beethoven -- I did it! 1.2533 0.03290 225 174 45 6
2015 Which one is Middle C? 1.2533 0.03688 225 181 31 13
2016 No worries. The piano's prepared. 1.2533 0.03523 225 178 37 10
2017 Is my playing too aggressive? 1.2533 0.03370 229 179 42 8
2018 I’m hoping to knockout this Sonata in the first movement. 1.2532 0.03162 233 179 49 5
2019 I don’t take requests. 1.2532 0.03351 237 186 42 9
2020 Currently, Rachmaninoff is winning. 1.2527 0.04002 186 149 27 10
2021 My next number, a sing-along, is also a round . 1.2527 0.03855 186 147 31 8
2022 I was hoping they’d help me hit the right notes. 1.2526 0.03889 194 155 29 10
2023 I only perform once a year - On Boxers Day. 1.2526 0.03749 194 153 33 8
2024 Let's get rrready to rrrubato! 1.2525 0.03583 202 158 37 7
2025 Now I’ll play a fugue by Mohammed Ali 1.2525 0.03912 202 163 27 12
2026 Ladies and gentlemen: Counterpunch was Bach's specialty, as I shall now demonstrate 1.2525 0.03848 202 162 29 11
2027 Watch and listen while I pummel the hell out of this thing. 1.2525 0.03784 202 161 31 10
2028 For my next piece :"The fight of the Bumblebee 1.2525 0.03651 202 159 35 8
2029 Next time you clap or somebody gets hurt. 1.2524 0.03605 206 162 36 8
2030 A boxed set of tonight’s performance will be available for purchase during the interval. 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
2031 My ivories don't like to be tickled. 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
2032 The insurance on my fingers was outrageous! 1.2524 0.03734 206 164 32 10
2033 Well you said I should attack the music! 1.2524 0.03224 210 160 47 3
2034 This next number will really knock you out! 1.2523 0.03454 214 167 40 7
2035 I believe single notes are banal and over-rated. 1.2523 0.03595 218 173 35 10
2036 My next piece is “Float like a butterfly” 1.2523 0.03595 218 173 35 10
2037 I will now play the Rachmaninoff Prelude in A through G minor. 1.2523 0.03664 222 178 32 12
2038 And now I will play Dance Like a Butterfly and Sting Like a Bumblebee by Rimsky Ali 1.2523 0.03664 222 178 32 12
2039 Ladies and Gentleman, Bachy Balboa! 1.2523 0.03435 222 174 40 8
2040 I don't know why I can't hit that last note. 1.2523 0.03493 222 175 38 9
2041 And more, much more than this, I did it Steeeiiinway. 1.2522 0.03278 226 175 45 6
2042 This next piece demonstrates the difficulty bumblebees actually have in flight. 1.2522 0.03453 226 178 39 9
2043 Time to punch out a new tune. 1.2522 0.03577 230 184 34 12
2044 My next piece is critic-proof. 1.2522 0.03469 230 182 38 10
2045 A special technique is required for the arpeggios. 1.2521 0.03586 234 188 33 13
2046 Something punchy? 1.2513 0.03683 187 146 35 6
2047 Tickling the ivories" is so last century 1.2513 0.03926 191 153 28 10
2048 Would someone from the audience help me find my keys? 1.2513 0.03783 191 151 32 8
2049 Yo, Liberace. 1.2513 0.03802 195 155 31 9
2050 I will be playing pugilist in D Major. 1.2513 0.03683 199 157 34 8
2051 Maybe this piano's out of tune. 1.2513 0.03751 199 158 32 9
2052 This evening’s performance, of Tyson’s 1st, is also available on a box set. 1.2513 0.03818 199 159 30 10
2053 Ladies and gentlemen, we are recording tonight's performance which, I expect, will be released as a boxed set. 1.2512 0.03635 203 160 35 8
2054 And now for my final piece, "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebee." 1.2512 0.03831 203 163 29 11
2055 Next, The Minute Waltz in 30 seconds. 1.2512 0.03589 207 163 36 8
2056 '"and now - Franz Listz's My Fisto Waltz" 1.2512 0.03654 207 164 34 9
2057 How else do you propose I play The Boxer? 1.2512 0.03589 207 163 36 8
2058 I call this one 'Punch in the F-A-C-E. 1.2512 0.03654 207 164 34 9
2059 Float like a butterfly, sing in B. 1.2512 0.03545 211 166 37 8
2060 ...and now, my tribute to Rocky Balboa. 1.2512 0.03791 211 170 29 12
2061 I thought you said “Box Art of Fugue.” 1.2512 0.03731 211 169 31 11
2062 Tickling the ivories got old. 1.2512 0.03311 215 166 44 5
2063 Who knew playing "The Boxer" would prove this challenging ? 1.2512 0.03742 215 173 30 12
2064 This next piece is a little punchy. 1.2512 0.03376 215 167 42 6
2065 next round's on me... 1.2511 0.03521 219 173 37 9
2066 One note requests please. 1.2511 0.03382 227 178 41 8
2067 Now I'm going to play 4'33'' by John Cage 1.2511 0.03605 227 182 33 12
2068 I'm only playing my greatest hits. 1.2511 0.03509 231 184 36 11
2069 My next song will be a cappella 1.2500 0.03680 220 177 31 12
2070 Anyone want to hear the theme from Rocky? 1.2500 0.03413 204 158 41 5
2071 This next piece is called "I am the greatest" and is dedicated to Muhammad Ali 1.2500 0.03530 212 167 37 8
2072 And now, "Eine Kleine Kampfmusik". 1.2500 0.03309 252 200 41 11
2073 This is how I flatten the flats. 1.2500 0.03408 224 176 40 8
2074 Nail fungus is nothing to chuckle about, ask the harp player. 1.2500 0.03764 208 167 30 11
2075 For my next piece I will play "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2500 0.03908 192 154 28 10
2076 I shall now play the "I AM THE GREATEST" Sonata I composed in memory of Muhammad Ali. 1.2500 0.03619 204 161 35 8
2077 I call this `Broken Piano`. 1.2500 0.03692 192 151 34 7
2078 I will now float like Madam Butterfly then sting with the Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2500 0.03609 216 172 34 10
2079 ...and a special thanks to Performers Insurance Co. for finding a way to reduce my premiums. 1.2500 0.03623 220 176 33 11
2080 This one's for you, Mr. Stallone. 1.2500 0.03507 220 174 37 9
2081 This is my own interpretation of Cage's 4'33". 1.2500 0.03597 200 157 36 7
2082 I don’t exactly tickle the ivories anymore. 1.2500 0.03666 200 158 34 8
2083 This next piece is called “Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.” 1.2500 0.03447 220 173 39 8
2084 And then The Maestro begged me to stop fighting the instrument. 1.2500 0.03702 208 166 32 10
2085 Who is my opponent? 1.2500 0.03408 224 176 40 8
2086 And I'd like to close with a little chin music. 1.2500 0.03715 196 155 33 8
2087 Now for some Rachymaninoff. 1.2500 0.03825 208 168 28 12
2088 Yo Amadeus...I did it. 1.2500 0.03921 196 158 27 11
2089 And now for my finale, Rope-a-dope fortissimo 1.2500 0.03552 204 160 37 7
2090 For my encore, the theme from 'Rocky.' 1.2500 0.03523 224 178 36 10
2091 I present to you now a finale that floats like Madame Butterfly yet stings like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2500 0.03666 200 158 34 8
2092 You want me to do what?? 1.2500 0.03853 196 157 29 10
2093 I play like a butterfly and sing like a bee. 1.2500 0.04052 196 160 23 13
2094 My next selection is Paul Simon's "The Boxer". 1.2500 0.03267 212 163 45 4
2095 And now, for your enjoyment, I will box the ivories. 1.2500 0.03749 228 186 27 15
2096 This next piece is sure to be a knockout. 1.2500 0.03715 196 155 33 8
2097 And now for a slow rendition of Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2500 0.03479 244 196 35 13
2098 This next one's a knockout. 1.2500 0.03666 188 147 35 6
2099 Now I will play, “Domm, Domm, Domm,...Dommmm.. 1.2500 0.03609 216 172 34 10
2100 I said Bach's work, not box work. 1.2500 0.03743 188 148 33 7
2101 I call this next piece,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2489 0.03587 233 188 32 13
2102 This next one’s called “I’m a failure and my wife’s leaving me.” 1.2489 0.03577 229 184 33 12
2103 And now, our alma mater's fight song. 1.2489 0.03509 225 179 36 10
2104 This next one really packs a punch! 1.2489 0.03373 221 173 41 7
2105 Next, a lively rendition of Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2489 0.03373 221 173 41 7
2106 And now a piece from Wagner's lesser-known Boxing Ring Trilogy. 1.2488 0.03711 217 175 30 12
2107 This next piece is titled 'I Could Have Been (a Contender)'." 1.2488 0.03711 217 175 30 12
2108 Now, the ‘Fight of the Bumblebee’ 1.2488 0.03284 217 168 44 5
2109 And now, a new composition for Boxing Day. 1.2488 0.03595 217 173 34 10
2110 Jetzt, eine kleine Kampfmusik. 1.2488 0.03578 213 169 35 9
2111 Prepare to be really impressed. 1.2488 0.03452 213 167 39 7
2112 I range from Marvin Hamlisch to Marvin Hagler. 1.2488 0.03559 209 165 36 8
2113 You guys like “Chopsticks”? 1.2488 0.03686 209 167 32 10
2114 And now for 'Float like a butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' in A minor 1.2488 0.03559 209 165 36 8
2115 That bum is going down in the second movement. 1.2488 0.03427 209 163 40 6
2116 Quite frankly, I’m much more accustomed to pounding on an organ. 1.2488 0.03469 205 160 39 6
2117 And now, Concerto Number 4, Round 3, in B-flat minor. 1.2488 0.03581 201 158 36 7
2118 Don't play it again, Sam. 1.2488 0.03784 201 161 30 10
2119 My guess is this job switch is working out better for me than my partner. 1.2488 0.03650 201 159 34 8
2120 I forgot the punch line! 1.2487 0.03903 197 159 27 11
2121 My dog wrote this next piece. 1.2487 0.03969 197 160 25 12
2122 I glissando like a butterfly and trill like a bee! 1.2487 0.03601 193 151 36 6
2123 You should hear me play the zither. 1.2487 0.03725 189 149 33 7
2124 I will now play... with your expectations. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
2125 For my encore I will play Opus 7 in A, B and C Major 1.2479 0.03675 234 191 28 15
2126 My next piece will be played on this Steinway that has never been touched by human hands. 1.2478 0.03381 226 178 40 8
2127 Chopin is down for the count in three -quarter time. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2128 And now, C minor in 12 rounds. 1.2477 0.03638 218 175 32 11
2129 I hope that some in the audience tonight will be able to distinguish the downbeat versus the beat down. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2130 This next selection is an experimental piece by Philip Glass. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2131 For my next selection, I will be playing the theme from "Rocky". 1.2477 0.03563 214 170 35 9
2132 I will now perform Mike Tyson's concerto in B flat. 1.2477 0.03915 214 176 23 15
2133 And now the punchline! 1.2477 0.03624 214 171 33 10
2134 This next one needs to be preformed with a certain amount of punch 1.2477 0.03501 214 169 37 8
2135 Can you please give me a hand? 1.2477 0.03563 214 170 35 9
2136 And now, I will take Beethoven to the 12th." 1.2476 0.03732 210 169 30 11
2137 To increase the degree of difficulty, I will put on a pair of swim fins. 1.2476 0.03732 210 169 30 11
2138 ...and this next piece is sure to be a knock out! 1.2476 0.03792 210 170 28 12
2139 I shall now play "Flight of the Sting Like A Bee." 1.2476 0.03670 210 168 32 10
2140 I'm afraid I've boxed myself into a corner with this concerto. 1.2476 0.03206 210 161 46 3
2141 I'd like to close this evening with 'Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2476 0.03843 206 167 27 12
2142 And now I shall pummel out a pleasing polonaise for your pleasure. 1.2476 0.03588 206 163 35 8
2143 Please hold your applause until you count to ten. 1.2476 0.03654 206 164 33 9
2144 And now, the theme from Rocky IV 1.2476 0.03588 206 163 35 8
2145 As an encore I'll now play the Notre Dame Fight Song. 1.2476 0.03781 206 166 29 11
2146 This one's from the boxed set. 1.2475 0.03832 202 163 28 11
2147 It's going to be a Wagner piece. 1.2475 0.03896 202 164 26 12
2148 The ivories tickle me. 1.2475 0.03832 202 163 28 11
2149 Now, Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 20 in B-flat major, TKO.548 1.2475 0.03634 202 160 34 8
2150 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Theme from Rocky VII 1.2475 0.03767 202 162 30 10
2151 This next piece is by Rocky-maninoff. 1.2475 0.03611 198 156 35 7
2152 The critics all say that anything I might be lacking in finesse, I more than make up for in punch. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2153 Raging Beethoven.” 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2154 And now, by your request, the Love Theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2155 Get ready for this hit! 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2156 This piece was written for no hands. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2157 My last recital ended in a TKO in the sixth round. 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2158 When you don't have time to change between your part-time jobs. 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2159 He got hit pretty hard, i think he has a Percussion 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2160 What? You told me to pound it out. 1.2474 0.03731 194 154 32 8
2161 Next, my own composition: "The Ring." 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2162 For my next piece, please enjoy 'Mama Said Knock You Out' in B-Flat. 1.2474 0.03782 190 151 31 8
2163 ...and now:Beethoven's Hammerklavier sonata. 1.2473 0.03812 182 144 31 7
2164 When I said I wanted to hit the ivories..." 1.2469 0.03329 243 193 40 10
2165 These are to prevent me from “tickling the ivories”.... 1.2468 0.03182 235 183 46 6
2166 I usually have a sheet music page turner. 1.2468 0.03496 231 185 35 11
2167 Etude" by Muhammad Ali.. 1.2466 0.03636 223 180 31 12
2168 And for you Brits, "A Ballad for Boxing Day." 1.2466 0.03636 223 180 31 12
2169 I will now play my tribute to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." It's a knockout! 1.2466 0.03580 223 179 33 11
2170 And the winner by judges decision after 8 rounds is... Steinway. 1.2466 0.03506 219 174 36 9
2171 Any Requests? Anything but "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2465 0.03548 215 171 35 9
2172 The next is a cross between Ali and Amadeus! 1.2465 0.03548 215 171 35 9
2173 The Boxer Rebellion concerto 1.2465 0.03728 215 174 29 12
2174 My Carpal tunnel's flaring up again. 1.2465 0.03424 215 169 39 7
2175 Once you hear this next song composed by Cassius Clay you will know why he changed his name to Mohammed Ali 1.2465 0.03669 215 173 31 11
2176 Box Magnificat 1.2464 0.04008 211 175 20 16
2177 And now I will perform “The Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2464 0.03529 211 167 36 8
2178 My teacher says it will remind me to not hit the keys too hard. 1.2464 0.03655 211 169 32 10
2179 Ladies and gentlemen, let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2464 0.03465 211 166 38 7
2180 For my next piece, I will play 'Great Balls of Fire.' 1.2464 0.03263 211 163 44 4
2181 And now for a swinging little tune with a hook that'll knock you out. 1.2464 0.03638 207 165 33 9
2182 I will now play the Third Round of the Moonlight Sonata, Presto Agitato. 1.2464 0.03638 207 165 33 9
2183 This next piece was first performed in Paris in 1913. It was quite controversial for the time, and fights broke out among the audience. 1.2464 0.03439 207 162 39 6
2184 I never wanted piano lessons. 1.2464 0.03702 207 166 31 10
2185 This one I call "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of a bumblebee." 1.2463 0.03410 203 158 40 5
2186 I’m trying to stop biting my nails. 1.2463 0.03481 203 159 38 6
2187 This next sonata is a real knock out. 1.2463 0.03618 203 161 34 8
2188 My next piece is Ali in C minor 1.2463 0.03815 203 164 28 11
2189 Tickling the ivories really isn’t my style. 1.2462 0.03377 199 154 41 4
2190 I shall now demonstrate that my piano coach was right. 1.2462 0.03867 199 161 27 11
2191 This modern stuff is a real pain in the ass. 1.2462 0.03734 199 159 31 9
2192 Yeah buddy? Come down here, I'll give you discordant notes! 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2193 My next piece is dedicated to the immortal Muhammad Ali... 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2194 And now, with your gracious indulgence, I'd like to bang out a new composition." 1.2462 0.03569 195 153 36 6
2195 I asked for box seats. 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2196 And now for a nuanced little mashup I call 'Étude, Sonny Liszton?' 1.2462 0.03922 195 158 26 11
2197 And now I will float through Madame Butterfly and sting into Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2198 I offer Republican Chopsticks for our times. 1.2461 0.03978 191 155 25 11
2199 I'm just going to play a little rope-a-dope until I find middle C. 1.2461 0.03691 191 151 33 7
2200 I only sing 1.2461 0.03691 191 151 33 7
2201 Box Fugue in D minor 1.2459 0.03368 244 195 38 11
2202 I can't tickle the ivories but I can pound them" 1.2456 0.03412 228 181 38 9
2203 Now, " I would like to play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2456 0.03523 228 183 34 11
2204 I call it Concerto Marciano. 1.2455 0.03211 224 174 45 5
2205 Are you suggesting there is a problem with my technique? 1.2455 0.03492 220 175 36 9
2206 Oh my story’s seldom told 1.2455 0.03492 220 175 36 9
2207 I will now play Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer" 1.2455 0.03371 220 173 40 7
2208 For my next number, please prepare to have your socks knocked off 1.2455 0.03371 220 173 40 7
2209 For my encore, a knockturne by Sullivan... John L., 1.2455 0.03722 220 179 28 13
2210 And now, Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer." 1.2455 0.03309 220 172 42 6
2211 I'm doing a Victor Borge! 1.2454 0.03712 216 175 29 12
2212 Ladies and gentlemen, you'll be glad to know that I'm about to play John Cage's '4'33'. 1.2454 0.03770 216 176 27 13
2213 This rendition is going to be a knock out ! 1.2454 0.03534 216 172 35 9
2214 I regret auditioning for Rocky the Musical 1.2454 0.03534 216 172 35 9
2215 And now, all three rounds of Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ 1.2453 0.03514 212 168 36 8
2216 And now, by request, the theme from "Rocky". 1.2453 0.03760 212 172 28 12
2217 Now that I've answered my critics, I shall play music from 'Requiem for a Heavyweight' " 1.2453 0.03318 212 165 42 5
2218 And now, from Wagner's Ring Cycle.... 1.2453 0.03639 212 170 32 10
2219 I will now punch out the theme from Rocky. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2220 Okay, it doesn't work for Beethoven, but my Mahler's a knockout! 1.2452 0.03558 208 165 35 8
2221 Concerto no. 10! 9! 8!, 7!..... 1.2452 0.03748 208 168 29 11
2222 And now, from the Manassa Mahler, “The Heavyweight Requiem 1.2452 0.03492 208 164 37 7
2223 And now Rockymaninoff symphony #9 TKO. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2224 And now, a largo in fall flat. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2225 I said I could play Rachmaninov, NOT Rocky Marciano! 1.2451 0.03535 204 161 36 7
2226 Mind if I punch out a tune? 1.2451 0.03466 204 160 38 6
2227 Fortissimo Piano. 1.2450 0.03287 200 154 43 3
2228 Is this the "sting like a bee" part? 1.2450 0.03579 200 158 35 7
2229 Time to punch this tune up a little 1.2450 0.03649 200 159 33 8
2230 A new Sonata called 'Float like a Butterfly and sting like a Bee. 1.2449 0.03767 196 157 30 9
2231 And next, I'll be playing,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2449 0.03697 196 156 32 8
2232 And now I will perform 'The Theme from Rocky.' 1.2448 0.03960 192 156 25 11
2233 I will now play "Hail To The Chief". 1.2448 0.04028 192 157 23 12
2234 Yes, I am a heavyweight musician. 1.2448 0.03444 192 149 39 4
2235 Welcome to my Nightmare Sonata! 1.2447 0.03215 237 186 44 7
2236 And now, “glovesticks”. 1.2447 0.03946 188 152 26 10
2237 Did I hear a request for the theme from Rocky? 1.2446 0.03305 233 184 41 8
2238 Now, a tribute to the Rocky movies. 1.2445 0.03454 229 183 36 10
2239 This next number is a new piece I wrote, Below the Belt in B-Flat. 1.2443 0.03536 221 177 34 10
2240 my plan is to pound these ivories into submission 1.2442 0.03333 217 170 41 6
2241 Rachmaninov wasn't challenging enough. 1.2442 0.03697 217 176 29 12
2242 And now, a piece for ill-tempered clavier by Box. 1.2442 0.03697 217 176 29 12
2243 And for my next piece, I’ll need the assistance of someone in the audience, preferably the abusive guy in the corner... 1.2442 0.03333 217 170 41 6
2244 Playing Stravinsky is always a battle, but this time I win! 1.2442 0.03193 258 205 43 10
2245 I am just a poor boy .... 1.2441 0.03436 213 168 38 7
2246 Tonight I'll be playing "Rumble in the Jungle." 1.2441 0.03371 213 167 40 6
2247 This one's from "Rocky: the Musical." 1.2441 0.03562 213 170 34 9
2248 Perhaps my tribute to Boxing Day was ill-informed. 1.2440 0.03477 209 165 37 7
2249 It's a clause in my insurance contract. 1.2440 0.03477 209 165 37 7
2250 It's called dueling piano. 1.2440 0.03410 209 164 39 6
2251 Rachmaninoff's Third is in for the fight of its life. 1.2439 0.03520 205 162 36 7
2252 ‘And now for a tribute to Mohammed Ali.” 1.2439 0.03310 205 159 42 4
2253 Look ma, no fingers. 1.2439 0.03451 205 161 38 6
2254 Remember students, always practice safe sax, and don't forget to put a glove on your pianist. 1.2439 0.03906 205 168 24 13
2255 You will each find a pair of ear plugs under your seat. 1.2438 0.03897 201 164 25 12
2256 This next piece is titled, "Would You Please Stop F**king Playing That, Timmy? 1.2438 0.03767 201 162 29 10
2257 And now my rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis and "Great Balls of Fire" 1.2438 0.03833 201 163 27 11
2258 what? you said we were doing rounds... 1.2438 0.03564 201 159 35 7
2259 Welcome to the atonal music festival! 1.2437 0.03750 197 158 30 9
2260 At your request, Rocky's Fourth! 1.2437 0.03750 197 158 30 9
2261 My next tune will be The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2437 0.03463 197 154 38 5
2262 For my next number, "Baby It's Cold Outside. 1.2435 0.04141 193 160 19 14
2263 For my next selection I shall perform for you Mozart's Rope-a-Dope Concerto in E minor. 1.2435 0.03802 193 155 29 9
2264 And now I'd like to pound out a little number from Mozart. 1.2435 0.03441 230 184 36 10
2265 The Boxer's Rag, by Slapsie Maxie Mendelssohn. 1.2434 0.03927 189 153 26 10
2266 It may be unconventional, but it is the first Mozart-meets-Muhammad-Ali performance I know of. 1.2434 0.03551 189 148 36 5
2267 The former champ came to understand his new pursuit required a different set of skills. 1.2434 0.03629 189 149 34 6
2268 I shall now perform Basie's Down For The Count. 1.2432 0.03220 222 173 44 5
2269 Yo, Elise! I did it! 1.2431 0.03319 218 171 41 6
2270 And here's my rendition of Boxing Matilda. 1.2431 0.03729 181 143 32 6
2271 For my last number, Mozart's Sonata in D TKO.576 1.2431 0.04045 181 147 24 10
2272 Someone found my privilege and ability offensive. 1.2429 0.03462 210 166 37 7
2273 It’s my brother’s idea. I love him. But don’t expect much. 1.2429 0.03592 210 168 33 9
2274 ...and next I will perform the theme from"Rocky" 1.2429 0.03528 210 167 35 8
2275 Let's see Mike Tyson do this! 1.2429 0.03396 210 165 39 6
2276 Any less abusive requests? 1.2429 0.03654 210 169 31 10
2277 Sorry for the delay, folks - my trainer is looking for my mouthguard. 1.2427 0.03637 206 165 32 9
2278 And now, Rocky's Symphony No. 5 in C minor. 1.2427 0.03367 206 161 40 5
2279 Just wait until I take the gloves off! 1.2427 0.03765 206 167 28 11
2280 Be-Bop 1.2427 0.03504 206 163 36 7
2281 I thought you requested a Box Trot! 1.2427 0.03571 206 164 34 8
2282 I've really boxed myself into this corner. 1.2427 0.03702 206 166 30 10
2283 Here’s a little number I made popular back in my club days 1.2427 0.03702 206 166 30 10
2284 I shall now play the Rach Four using only my nose and my elbows. 1.2426 0.03751 202 163 29 10
2285 Dat was "Ode to George Foreman", in E minor. 1.2426 0.03548 202 160 35 7
2286 Now I Will Play My Opus Trumpus. 1.2426 0.03684 202 162 31 9
2287 Yes, it's a fight song! 1.2426 0.03406 202 158 39 5
2288 Chopsticks? 1.2426 0.03751 202 163 29 10
2289 I would describe my relationship with Debussy as tumultuous. 1.2426 0.03617 202 161 33 8
2290 And now for some of my Boxing Day favorites! Let me punch out a few tunes for you. 1.2426 0.03617 202 161 33 8
2291 'Introducing Baroque-y Balboa' 1.2426 0.03335 235 187 39 9
2292 Wow! A knockout performance! 1.2424 0.03664 198 158 32 8
2293 It adds a little punch to my Bach.. 1.2424 0.03259 231 182 42 7
2294 And now, the theme for Rocky XVII 1.2424 0.03316 231 183 40 8
2295 I will now play selections frrom "The Ring Cycle ". 1.2423 0.03467 227 182 35 10
2296 I call this next piece 'Fight of the Jumbled Keys'. 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2297 DOWN goes Mahler...DOWN goes Mahler.... 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2298 And now, Chopin with the gloves off.... 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2299 Pianissimo enough for you now, Maestro? 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2300 I think this piece will really knock you out, folks." 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2301 Lets just say "I AM a contender!" 1.2422 0.03331 223 176 40 7
2302 And now for my best combination. 1.2422 0.03270 223 175 42 6
2303 Oh. Bach? 1.2420 0.03430 219 174 37 8
2304 For my encore, I will play an original piece titled, "Rush Hour Traffic" 1.2420 0.03666 219 178 29 12
2305 Yo Adrian... this nex numbers fur you! 1.2420 0.03430 219 174 37 8
2306 And now, Interlude, by Rocky Maninoff. 1.2419 0.04038 186 152 23 11
2307 And for the tenth,and final,round,I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2419 0.03892 186 150 27 9
2308 This composition is called 'The Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2419 0.03713 215 175 28 12
2309 It's the only way I can make it through John Cage's 4'33" without playing a wrong note. 1.2419 0.03654 215 174 30 11
2310 I have chosen to play The Marquess of Queensberry's First Piano Sonata in A Minor. 1.2419 0.03654 215 174 30 11
2311 I call it "Flight of the Pugilist". 1.2417 0.03314 211 165 41 5
2312 I thought you said you wanted me to knock out a tune?... 1.2417 0.03576 211 169 33 9
2313 And now, Variations on Theme From Rocky. 1.2417 0.03576 211 169 33 9
2314 And now for your listening displeasure, I will pound the ivories. 1.2417 0.03639 211 170 31 10
2315 I will now knock out the theme from Rocky 1.2415 0.03489 207 164 36 7
2316 Now, I will wear my Bach-sing gloves. 1.2414 0.03862 203 166 25 12
2317 This next piece floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. 1.2412 0.03222 228 179 43 6
2318 I'll now play a little-known Wagner piece, "The Boxing Ring." 1.2412 0.03340 228 181 39 8
2319 I have a really great hook for this song. 1.2412 0.03282 228 180 41 7
2320 And now something a little more modern: 'The Boxer' by Paul Simon. 1.2412 0.03282 228 180 41 7
2321 And now, for your listening pleasure, I'd like to knock out this little number. 1.2412 0.03432 199 156 38 5
2322 It helps me keep a beat. 1.2412 0.03716 199 160 30 9
2323 For my first trick, I will be playing Chopsticks. 1.2412 0.03784 199 161 28 10
2324 Now here's the main theme from Rocky. 1.2412 0.03506 199 157 36 6
2325 And now, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s little known composition, “Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like The Flight of The Bumblebee”. 1.2412 0.03716 199 160 30 9
2326 Quite frankly, I’ve had quite enough of tinkling the keys 1.2411 0.03436 224 179 36 9
2327 Just so you know, I’m all thumbs. 1.2411 0.03551 224 181 32 11
2328 I've been fighting through this song for weeks. 1.2411 0.03131 224 174 46 4
2329 It's music boxing. 1.2410 0.03767 195 157 29 9
2330 Which would you prefer: Stravinsky's Pumchin' Ella Suite, or Mozart's Eine Kleine Knockout Music? 1.2410 0.03550 195 154 35 6
2331 I learned this next number from Joe Louis Armstrong. 1.2409 0.03594 220 178 31 11
2332 Flogging the ivories 1.2408 0.03819 191 154 28 9
2333 The real problem is my cauliflower ear. 1.2407 0.03518 216 173 34 9
2334 This next piece is called, "Good Enough for Government Work." 1.2407 0.03456 216 172 36 8
2335 And next a rumble in the ensemble. 1.2407 0.03330 216 170 40 6
2336 I dare anyone to say that I am all thumbs. 1.2406 0.03798 187 150 29 8
2337 For the person who keeps requesting Paul Simon’s “The Boxer”... 1.2406 0.03623 212 171 31 10
2338 Pyotr Pavlosky, Pugilist Pianist 1.2406 0.03433 212 168 37 7
2339 I managed to learn to text with these, now onto playing the piano! 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2340 I wear them because these ivories are so ticklish. 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2341 And now, a preview of the theme from Rocky VIII . . . 1.2406 0.03623 212 171 31 10
2342 I call this next number "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2343 I just won the first part of the competition but this part is really going to be hard. 1.2406 0.03301 212 166 41 5
2344 And now for my rather unique rendition of Beethoven's 5th 1.2405 0.03256 237 188 41 8
2345 I call this piece,"Boxer's Rebellion. 1.2404 0.03693 183 145 32 6
2346 My sonatas are impetuous, my concertos are impregnable, and my etudes are just ferocious. 1.2404 0.03773 183 146 30 7
2347 And now, Shostakovich’s Piano Concerto No.2, as if played by your two year old niece. 1.2404 0.03693 183 145 32 6
2348 1-2-3-Hit It! 1.2404 0.03606 208 167 32 9
2349 Tonight I'll be knocking out the tunes for you. 1.2403 0.03509 233 189 32 12
2350 Fuego means fight doesn't it? 1.2402 0.03448 204 161 37 6
2351 And for my next knockout performance... 1.2402 0.03845 204 167 25 12
2352 ...and now, I will punch it up a bit with the Anvil Chorus. 1.2402 0.03448 204 161 37 6
2353 And now I’d like to play a medley of my greatest hits. 1.2402 0.03652 204 164 31 9
2354 Can I skip the black keys? 1.2402 0.03384 229 183 37 9
2355 My next piece really packs a punch. 1.2400 0.03267 200 155 42 3
2356 Begging your indulgence, my New Year's resolution is to stop biting my nails. 1.2400 0.03561 200 159 34 7
2357 I shall now float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2400 0.03767 200 162 28 10
2358 I will now play the theme song from "Requiem for a Heavy Weight. 1.2400 0.03305 225 178 40 7
2359 Now a little something called "Float like a Butterfly sting like a Bee" 1.2398 0.03403 221 176 37 8
2360 After 32 variations, I'll be going 12 rounds. 1.2398 0.03679 196 157 31 8
2361 He does a great scherzando but he needs a page turner 1.2398 0.03819 196 159 27 10
2362 This piece is in "Stallone staccato". 1.2398 0.03459 196 154 37 5
2363 This grand is fighting me all the way !!! 1.2396 0.03504 217 174 34 9
2364 Tonight I’m going to play The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2396 0.03316 217 171 40 6
2365 I can knock out the Minute Waltz in 45 seconds. 1.2396 0.03442 217 173 36 8
2366 And now, U of M's fight song 1.2396 0.03579 192 152 34 6
2367 Whaddya mean it hasn’t been tuned? 1.2394 0.03729 213 174 27 12
2368 They laughed when I say down to play. They're not laughing now. 1.2394 0.03483 213 170 35 8
2369 I shall now play the Concerto No. 2, Opus 18 by Rockymaninoff. 1.2394 0.03354 213 168 39 6
2370 And now, the theme from Rocky, with a salute to Victor Borge. 1.2394 0.03669 213 173 29 11
2371 Now I will perform Rocky Maninoff's Conflicto #13 in Duh-Minor. 1.2394 0.03608 213 172 31 10
2372 This version of " Flight of the bumble bee" was inspired by the late Cassius Clay. 1.2394 0.03669 213 173 29 11
2373 Rachmaninov: Piano Concerto No.2 as adapted by Rocky Marciano 1.2391 0.03755 184 147 30 7
2374 For my next request ... The Boxer by Paul Simon 1.2391 0.03833 184 148 28 8
2375 I will perform ‘Variations on a theme by Liston’ composed by Ali. 1.2390 0.03701 205 166 29 10
2376 I can’t eat with chopsticks either. 1.2390 0.03570 205 164 33 8
2377 I'd rather punch a clock. 1.2390 0.03636 205 165 31 9
2378 I'm just not that in to melodies 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2379 J.S. Box prelude and fugue in b minor. 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2380 Glenn Gould playing the Palooka Variations. 1.2390 0.03701 205 166 29 10
2381 Knockout in the fifth movement. 1.2390 0.03765 205 167 27 11
2382 Tonight I will perform "Fight of the bumblebees" 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2383 And now, Chopin's Knockout-turne in B minor. 1.2389 0.03351 226 180 38 8
2384 My next song is about my experience with my stockbroker and his attorney. 1.2388 0.03615 201 161 32 8
2385 Don't fight me on this one! 1.2388 0.03683 201 162 30 9
2386 Why is this piano out of tune? 1.2388 0.03683 201 162 30 9
2387 And now my rematch with Rachmaninov. 1.2388 0.03546 201 160 34 7
2388 In this Christmas season I'd like to play a little Boxing Day number. 1.2387 0.03389 222 177 37 8
2389 I can’t play today, I am feeling a little punchy 1.2386 0.04028 176 143 24 9
2390 The next composition is John Cage's "Music for Muhammad Ali". 1.2386 0.03732 197 159 29 9
2391 ...And now the theme from Raging Bull 1.2385 0.03366 218 173 38 7
2392 Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Round 3. 1.2385 0.03489 218 175 34 9
2393 And, when the burgers are done , this George Foreman grill turns into a grand piano ." 1.2385 0.03339 239 192 37 10
2394 And now I will play Chopin’s Preludes all at once! 1.2383 0.03486 193 152 36 5
2395 The next piece is the Knockout Sonata in B-flat major. 1.2383 0.03531 214 172 33 9
2396 This is from my latest box set. 1.2383 0.03405 214 170 37 7
2397 My next piece is by Schoenberg. 1.2383 0.03593 214 173 31 10
2398 Concerto for Raging Bull in E Minor 1.2383 0.03593 214 173 31 10
2399 Well Jim, I agree Smith is faster, but he will be conceding over 700 pounds to Steinway. 1.2383 0.03469 214 171 35 8
2400 The melody I'm about to play will knock you out! 1.2383 0.03375 235 189 36 10
2401 Looks like we have a music critic in the audience! 1.2381 0.03575 210 169 32 9
2402 I’m just going to pound this one out. 1.2381 0.03638 210 170 30 10
2403 This is a selection from Rockmyblokoff’s Opus 3, B-flat major, better known as The Pugilist Symphony. 1.2381 0.03836 189 153 27 9
2404 Welcome to the premiere performance of the Boxing Ring Cycle." 1.2381 0.03511 210 168 34 8
2405 Oh, you meant BACH's Goldberg Variations? 1.2381 0.03762 189 152 29 8
2406 And now, a little thing called "One Note Samba." 1.2381 0.03468 231 187 33 11
2407 I can now play five songs at once. 1.2381 0.03468 231 187 33 11
2408 Now for a demonstration of late 20th century classical piano compositions. 1.2381 0.03762 189 152 29 8
2409 And now I'd like to pound out a little something for you." 1.2381 0.03358 231 185 37 9
2410 And we will finish off the evening with Rimsky-Korsakov’s “”Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2379 0.03618 227 186 28 13
2411 This one is called "The Fight of The Bumble Bee." 1.2379 0.03487 206 164 35 7
2412 And now for a piece by a exciting new young composer. 1.2379 0.03487 206 164 35 7
2413 My playing can float like Madame Butterfly and sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2379 0.03685 206 167 29 10
2414 And now, "Variation on 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'" by Muhammad Ali 1.2377 0.03550 223 181 31 11
2415 This is the LAST time I do request. 1.2377 0.03375 223 178 37 8
2416 For my next song, I will be playing the theme from Rocky I. 1.2377 0.03435 223 179 35 9
2417 This isn't quite what I thought they meant by "dueling pianos". 1.2377 0.03435 223 179 35 9
2418 Let me bang out some notes. 1.2377 0.03375 223 178 37 8
2419 When we get to the Chopin, I'll take the gloves off. 1.2376 0.03460 202 160 36 6
2420 I'd like to play a Paul Simon tune called "the Boxer". 1.2376 0.03599 202 162 32 8
2421 The Pizzicato Polka, performed pugilistically. 1.2376 0.03733 202 164 28 10
2422 And now, the viral "Piano Cat" arranged for a human 1.2376 0.03799 202 165 26 11
2423 It is a sonata for Boxing Day, in B flat. 1.2376 0.03388 202 159 38 5
2424 I'll now play the overture from 'Rocky' in B flat on your back. 1.2376 0.03599 202 162 32 8
2425 The glissandos are killers. 1.2376 0.03667 202 163 30 9
2426 Oh! Bach? Yes, I suppose that does make more sense. 1.2374 0.03289 219 173 40 6
2427 This one's called, "Ode to Joe" 1.2374 0.03352 219 174 38 7
2428 I will now play Piano Concerto round 12. 1.2374 0.03575 198 158 33 7
2429 Real men don't tickle the ivories. 1.2374 0.03784 198 161 27 10
2430 Wait, so you meant Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer? 1.2374 0.03502 198 157 35 6
2431 Say again, Bach or box? 1.2374 0.03646 198 159 31 8
2432 Yes, I can do "Eye of the Tiger" 1.2373 0.03309 236 189 38 9
2433 I was advised to attack Schumann’s Toccata in C Major Op. 7! 1.2372 0.03326 215 170 39 6
2434 This is my warm-up number. 1.2372 0.03326 215 170 39 6
2435 And now a tribute to Sylvester Stallone. 1.2372 0.03517 215 173 33 9
2436 And now for the main event... 1.2371 0.03173 232 183 43 6
2437 I'll punch out one more before the break. 1.2370 0.03431 211 168 36 7
2438 This next piece is for AAAAADRIANNNNN. 1.2368 0.03439 228 184 34 10
2439 Refunds will be available in the lobby. 1.2368 0.03382 228 183 36 9
2440 Sorry, I only take requests from the box seats. 1.2368 0.03382 228 183 36 9
2441 Who says I'm not playing it myself? 1.2368 0.04031 190 157 21 12
2442 Just sayin' The Boxer would have peaked higher than seven on Billboard's Hot 100 if Simon and Garfunkel had thought of this. 1.2368 0.03206 228 180 42 6
2443 Float like Madama Butterfly, Sting like an in-flight bumblebee, I Am The Greatest, Since Tchaikovsky 1.2368 0.03669 190 152 31 7
2444 Da ,da, da, daaa! 1.2368 0.03744 190 153 29 8
2445 And now, Rocky-maninoff! 1.2367 0.03604 207 167 31 9
2446 And now for the ever-popular theme from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ... 1.2367 0.03472 207 165 35 7
2447 and now for some duke ellington! 1.2367 0.03669 207 168 29 10
2448 It’s a bit gimmicky but I have to pay the rent. 1.2367 0.03404 207 164 37 6
2449 I'm gonna play the Rocky theme. 1.2366 0.03362 224 179 37 8
2450 At least wait for the hook. 1.2366 0.03305 186 144 40 2
2451 I will now play the theme song from "Rocky" . 1.2366 0.03477 186 146 36 4
2452 I will now punch out this little tune.. 1.2366 0.03559 186 147 34 5
2453 My next selection has a familiar ring to it. 1.2365 0.03373 203 160 38 5
2454 You see, the score calls for fortississississimo. 1.2365 0.03444 203 161 36 6
2455 Now I will play something a little softer. 1.2365 0.03515 203 162 34 7
2456 And now my original theme for Rocky. 1.2364 0.03636 220 180 28 12
2457 This next piece needs a little punching up. 1.2364 0.03520 220 178 32 10
2458 Before I begin, if you are wondering why the boxing gloves, you will find out first if you take a call before this concert ends. 1.2363 0.03771 182 146 29 7
2459 Apologies to those who thought they were going to hear Bach. 1.2362 0.03559 199 159 33 7
2460 Concerto in Gloves hits all the right notes and most of the wrong ones, too. 1.2362 0.03699 199 161 29 9
2461 Otherwise I’d just be tickling the ivories 1.2362 0.03629 199 160 31 8
2462 Okay. Let's do this one in the keys of ABC and D. 1.2362 0.03487 199 158 35 6
2463 And now a piece from my hit record. 1.2362 0.03487 199 158 35 6
2464 And now, as requested, the theme from Rocky... 1.2361 0.03440 216 173 35 8
2465 I've been fighting the urge to play this tune all night long. 1.2361 0.03313 216 171 39 6
2466 First, Sting like a Bee followed by Float like a Butterfly 1.2361 0.03563 216 175 31 10
2467 A rendition of Balboa’s 5th 1.2361 0.03313 216 171 39 6
2468 It was The Boxer Rebellion in C Sharp Minor. 1.2361 0.03502 216 174 33 9
2469 Did you say forte or fortissimo? 1.2360 0.03907 178 144 26 8
2470 My next number will be "Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2359 0.03748 195 158 28 9
2471 And now I will close with the Boxer's Lullaby." 1.2359 0.03377 195 153 38 4
2472 This piece is titled, "Eye of the Tiger in B, C, D, G, and F." 1.2359 0.03677 195 157 30 8
2473 And now, the Lumbering Death Throes of the Bumble Bee 1.2359 0.03677 195 157 30 8
2474 How about a punchy tune? 1.2359 0.03377 195 153 38 4
2475 And now, as counterpoint to Beethoven's "Moonlight", here's a sonata with some punch. 1.2358 0.03481 212 170 34 8
2476 Give me a Ten Count! 1.2358 0.03416 212 169 36 7
2477 This is the only way to fight through Bach! 1.2356 0.03881 174 140 27 7
2478 And now the classic "88 keys in .8 seconds". 1.2356 0.03872 191 156 25 10
2479 This piece is called 'Float Like a Butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2480 It may sound a little rough, but I'd like to play something new for you tonight. 1.2356 0.03576 191 152 33 6
2481 Before I start, are there any complaints about the program? 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2482 My first number will be the theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2356 0.03800 191 155 27 9
2483 And In This Corner..."The Well Tempered Clavier" by J.S. Bach 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2484 And now for Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2356 0.03589 208 168 31 9
2485 This song's going to be a knock out! 1.2356 0.03716 208 170 27 11
2486 I’d think twice about criticizing my playing” 1.2356 0.03457 208 166 35 7
2487 And for my next selection, I would like to play Flight of the Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bumblebee. 1.2356 0.03633 225 185 27 13
2488 Tonight, it's just me versus Mozart. 1.2353 0.03358 204 161 38 5
2489 My next selection is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata in three rounds. 1.2353 0.03286 204 160 40 4
2490 I hope you enjoy tonight's concert. It is a real knockout 1.2353 0.03429 204 162 36 6
2491 A few more sonatas and I will have Beethoven on the ropes. 1.2353 0.03387 221 177 36 8
2492 Without these I’m all thumbs! 1.2353 0.03506 221 179 32 10
2493 And now, my introduction to contemporary music, 101 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2494 This will sound a little more like a concerto grosso. 1.2353 0.03447 221 178 34 9
2495 Contrapunto on a Divorce 1.2353 0.03542 187 148 34 5
2496 Oops. Wrong venue, wrong night. 1.2353 0.03429 204 162 36 6
2497 Next I will punch out an original tune 1.2353 0.03499 204 163 34 7
2498 Now for Mozart's Piano Sonata in Sting Like a Bee-Major. 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2499 When Liberace met John Cage. 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2500 And now the Symphonic Dances by Rockymaninoff 1.2353 0.03701 187 150 30 7
2501 And now, my new arrangement of “Baby It’s Cold Outside “ 1.2350 0.03264 234 187 39 8
2502 Good evening. Let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2350 0.03428 234 190 33 11
2503 For my encore, a little piece from the Pugilistic period. 1.2350 0.03264 234 187 39 8
2504 I think you'll all recognize this next little number 1.2350 0.03363 217 173 37 7
2505 Are you ready to ruuuuumble?!!!!! 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2506 When do I take the fall? After the first glissando? 1.2350 0.03398 200 158 37 5
2507 No,I said I was going to play the “flight” of the bumblebee ! 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2508 pianissimo 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2509 They said this piece was a sure knock-out 1.2350 0.03682 200 162 29 9
2510 I call this “Float like a butterfly, flight of the bumblebee.” 1.2350 0.03682 200 162 29 9
2511 And now in honor of Boxing Day... 1.2348 0.03241 230 183 40 7
2512 Next my own composition,"Mitten on the Keys". 1.2348 0.03628 230 190 26 14
2513 And now, AADRIAANNN!..in C minor. 1.2347 0.03592 213 173 30 10
2514 And now something with a bit more punch, Rocky's theme. 1.2347 0.03336 213 169 38 6
2515 „And now something little more progressive!“ 1.2347 0.03336 213 169 38 6
2516 This evening I will be performing The Hagler-Hearns Concerto No. 2 in Three Rounds. 1.2347 0.03588 196 157 32 7
2517 For my first piece, chopsticks. 1.2347 0.03660 196 158 30 8
2518 And now my rendition of the ham-fisted symphony as inspired by Donald Trump 1.2347 0.03731 196 159 28 9
2519 Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Bruiser; he's boxing with white cotton gloves. 1.2345 0.03394 226 182 35 9
2520 My next piece will be "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee," 1.2344 0.03508 209 168 33 8
2521 Vote for me to "Make Music Great Again". 1.2344 0.03573 209 169 31 9
2522 Who tuned this damn thing anyway? 1.2344 0.03573 209 169 31 9
2523 I hate encores. 1.2344 0.03637 209 170 29 10
2524 I'm putting a new spin on a John Cage classic 1.2344 0.03375 209 166 37 6
2525 ...and finally, by Johann Sebastian Box... 1.2344 0.03442 209 167 35 7
2526 And now for a short Roundo by Vladimir Fisticuffski. 1.2344 0.03635 192 154 31 7
2527 And now, an evening of glissandos. 1.2344 0.03853 192 157 25 10
2528 Chopsticks, please.... 1.2342 0.03663 222 183 26 13
2529 Next up, the Theme from Rocky. 1.2341 0.03484 205 164 34 7
2530 I MUST BE DREAMING 1.2341 0.03484 205 164 34 7
2531 I now know what they mean when They say; my written answers to Mueller’s questions were akin to that of a child playing the piano wearing boxing gloves. 1.2341 0.03415 205 163 36 6
2532 Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. 1.2341 0.03552 205 165 32 8
2533 You ain't heard nothin yet 1.2340 0.03760 188 152 28 8
2534 My playing's been a bit Rocky of late... 1.2339 0.03473 218 176 33 9
2535 The optional ear plugs are under your seat. 1.2339 0.03412 218 175 35 8
2536 ''No, there isn't intermission.'' 1.2339 0.03709 218 180 25 13
2537 Now, for something softer. 1.2338 0.03527 201 161 33 7
2538 For my encore, I shall attempt to destroy all the BLACK keys! 1.2338 0.03733 201 164 27 10
2539 This next piece is called "Two gloves on eighty-eight keys". 1.2337 0.03654 184 147 31 6
2540 Turns out I’m my own worst enemy. 1.2336 0.03577 214 174 30 10
2541 Now I'd like to punch out a little number for you. 1.2336 0.03452 214 172 34 8
2542 Now one by one of my favorite composers, Sonny Liston. 1.2336 0.03188 214 168 42 4
2543 This next song was written by Paul Simon. 1.2336 0.03452 214 172 34 8
2544 Degree of difficulty 9.7 1.2336 0.03322 214 170 38 6
2545 Let me just punch this number out. 1.2335 0.03783 197 161 26 10
2546 Yo, Tchaikovsky! 1.2335 0.03644 197 159 30 8
2547 My next piece is called "Requiem for a Boxer." 1.2335 0.03438 227 184 33 10
2548 In my next lesson video I will demonstrate more secrets of my patented technique for avoiding repetitive injury, carpal tunnel syndrome, and tendonitis. 1.2333 0.03868 180 146 26 8
2549 Now, the Beethoven Piano Sonata #8 ‘Pathetique’ as interpreted by Muhammad Ali. 1.2333 0.03428 210 168 35 7
2550 Good evening, Palookaville. Before I begin the Mussorgsky, it is imperative you understand that I coulda been a contender. 1.2333 0.03361 210 167 37 6
2551 This next piece requires a soft touch 1.2333 0.03494 210 169 33 8
2552 Believe me, it helps with the fortissimo, but not with the piano. 1.2333 0.03428 210 168 35 7
2553 To begin,I'd like to punch out a concerto by Bach. 1.2332 0.03478 223 181 32 10
2554 I am qualified to be the president's greatest Chief of Staff ever! I can do anything.. . . anything. 1.2332 0.03478 223 181 32 10
2555 Float like a butterfly, play like a ham. 1.2332 0.03543 193 154 33 6
2556 I will now perform Box Prelude in C Major 1.2332 0.03764 193 157 27 9
2557 I have sensitive hands 1.2330 0.03536 206 166 32 8
2558 I will now be playing the theme to ‘Rocky’. 1.2330 0.03536 206 166 32 8
2559 This next piece is called “STELLA!!!!!!!” in D minor. 1.2330 0.03400 206 164 36 6
2560 They work better on the kettle drums 1.2330 0.03469 206 165 34 7
2561 And now my signature THREE SECOND WALTZ. 1.2330 0.03603 206 167 30 9
2562 I must apologize for the typo in the program. My name is Bang Bang, not Lang Lang. 1.2329 0.03519 219 178 31 10
2563 At this point I can only play the Rocky theme. 1.2329 0.03336 219 175 37 7
2564 For my next number, the theme from "Rocky II." 1.2329 0.03578 219 179 29 11
2565 My next piece is an original composition entitled "Elephant on the Keys" 1.2329 0.03272 219 174 39 6
2566 Lie-la-lie... lie-la-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie... 1.2328 0.04032 189 157 20 12
2567 Please join me for punch after the concert. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2568 This last movement is quite the knock-out. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2569 I'm taking a dive in the 9th symphony. 1.2328 0.03890 189 155 24 10
2570 It's my newest composition. I call it "Float Like a Butterfly". 1.2328 0.03817 189 154 26 9
2571 This is Chopin’s Knockout in E minor. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2572 This one's simple but it has a good hook. 1.2328 0.03890 189 155 24 10
2573 I can easily cover 2 octaves this way. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2574 This next piece is a bit John-Cage-meets-Muhammad-Ali. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2575 And now, for my Jerry Lee Lewis segment. 1.2327 0.03581 202 163 31 8
2576 I call it the “Butterfly Sonata”, in the key of Sting-Like-a-B. 1.2327 0.03649 202 164 29 9
2577 I've had a difficult time choosing a profession. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2578 Did someone move my spit bucket? 1.2326 0.03309 215 171 38 6
2579 This next piece is a bit more raucous. 1.2326 0.03309 215 171 38 6
2580 My next number is a real knockout, in three rounds. 1.2325 0.03535 228 187 29 12
2581 Ladies and Gentlemen... Let's get ready to treble. 1.2324 0.03207 185 143 41 1
2582 I will now play Boxmaninoff 1.2324 0.03403 241 197 32 12
2583 Oh no, they are expecting me to take a bow now and I'm only wearing boxer shorts. 1.2323 0.03627 198 160 30 8
2584 My next number will be 'Kitten On the Keys.' 1.2323 0.03766 198 162 26 10
2585 And now for "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumble bee." 1.2323 0.03556 198 159 32 7
2586 If you please, let us now prepare ourselves to Rumble. 1.2322 0.03543 211 171 31 9
2587 And I thought tying my bow tie was hard! 1.2322 0.03278 211 167 39 5
2588 I tried facing the music but got hit with a one two. 1.2322 0.03668 211 173 27 11
2589 Get ready for something punchy. 1.2321 0.03493 237 195 29 13
2590 ......and in this corner weighing in at 158 pounds in the dark tuxedo, fromVienna, Austria ..... 1.2321 0.03389 237 193 33 11
2591 Fortissimo! 1.2320 0.03849 181 147 26 8
2592 Below the belt? I'm not even using the pedals. 1.2320 0.03675 194 157 29 8
2593 Adrian! 1.2319 0.03587 207 168 30 9
2594 And now, the Mohammad Ali Sonata in G minor. 1.2319 0.03385 207 165 36 6
2595 I float like Chopin and sting like Mozart 1.2318 0.03563 220 180 29 11
2596 And now, one of my own compositions! 1.2318 0.03445 220 178 33 9
2597 And now, to reprise Victor Borge's Musical Punctuation... 1.2318 0.03062 220 172 45 3
2598 I want to get the hell home so I'm just going to knock this piece out quickly. 1.2318 0.03322 220 176 37 7
2599 Trump being an ineffective president produces a most disharmonious effect, the same as playing a piano with boxing gloves on. 1.2318 0.03563 220 180 29 11
2600 I call this one "Sting like a Bee". 1.2318 0.03261 233 187 38 8
2601 My dermatologist says I need to stop scratching my eczema. 1.2318 0.03427 233 190 32 11
2602 And for my final work I give you Box Toccata and Fugue. 1.2316 0.03905 177 144 25 8
2603 This song promises to be a knock out! 1.2316 0.03650 177 141 31 5
2604 While I can't put my finger on it, my performances have somehow been a little Rocky lately. 1.2316 0.03572 190 152 32 6
2605 And now the concerto from 'Raging Bull' 1.2316 0.03412 190 150 36 4
2606 And now for a little chin music. 1.2316 0.03572 190 152 32 6
2607 And now I shall play a medley of pet-performed pieces from the Internet. 1.2315 0.03765 203 167 25 11
2608 And now, the very challenging LaMotta Sonata in F minor 1.2315 0.03205 203 159 41 3
2609 For my encore, I will play the 1812 Overture 1.2315 0.03354 203 161 37 5
2610 For round 1 I will be performing Fight of the Bumble Bee 1.2315 0.03547 216 176 30 10
2611 And now for my Post-Modern interpretation of Philip Glass 1.2315 0.03423 216 174 34 8
2612 And finally, Marciano’s Scherzo per Due Pugni 1.2312 0.03698 186 150 29 7
2613 John Cage is a dead man. 1.2312 0.04143 186 156 17 13
2614 Maestro - sote voce please. 1.2312 0.03393 199 158 36 5
2615 Tickling time's over. 1.2311 0.03528 212 172 31 9
2616 And now, Sonata No. 6, by Rockymaninoff 1.2311 0.03464 212 171 33 8
2617 Hitting the right notes. 1.2311 0.03332 212 169 37 6
2618 And now for Box' Concerto in D minor. 1.2311 0.03215 238 191 39 8
2619 Bring it on, Chopin. I'm ready. 1.2308 0.03370 221 178 35 8
2620 And now, from Rocky IV... 1.2308 0.03182 221 175 41 5
2621 It was in tune when I bought it. 1.2308 0.03117 221 174 43 4
2622 As a composer, I have become fascinated with tone clusters. 1.2308 0.03356 195 154 37 4
2623 In this composition I am honoring the heavy-handed approach of two masters - Wilhelm Richard Wagner and Mohammed Ali. 1.2308 0.03370 221 178 35 8
2624 I’m trying to beat out a tune. 1.2308 0.03439 208 167 34 7
2625 The following composition, titled 'Mother-in-law,' has a very striking, punchy tone. 1.2308 0.03506 208 168 32 8
2626 Tonight's performance will be included as part of my holiday box set. 1.2308 0.03585 195 157 31 7
2627 Now for your enjoyment, "Take that, Steinway!" 1.2308 0.03549 221 181 29 11
2628 My repertory is limited...I can only play rounds 1.2308 0.03572 208 169 30 9
2629 I started wearing them to stop sucking my thumb. Turned out I'm pretty darn good." 1.2308 0.03439 208 167 34 7
2630 And now for a lights out encore! 1.2308 0.03506 208 168 32 8
2631 I’ve been informed that this is a piano. Thank you. 1.2308 0.03636 208 170 28 10
2632 And now, Tyson's Sonata in B Minor. 1.2308 0.03658 195 158 29 8
2633 Progressing from the precision of atonal construction.... 1.2308 0.03549 221 181 29 11
2634 Float like a butterfly, play in the key of B.” 1.2304 0.03409 217 175 34 8
2635 Next, I would like to play my rendition of "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue". 1.2304 0.03471 217 176 32 9
2636 Chopsticks -- that's it. You were expecting maybe Mozart? 1.2304 0.03592 217 178 28 11
2637 You cannot force an individual to succeed in something when their heart is desiring another. 1.2304 0.03617 204 166 29 9
2638 And now my latest rendition of “Baby it’s cold outside.” 1.2304 0.03617 204 166 29 9
2639 I'm pounding the keyboard, like you asked. 1.2304 0.03481 204 164 33 7
2640 So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. 1.2304 0.03339 204 162 37 5
2641 Man vs. Piano: "Modernism? I'll show you Modernism!" 1.2304 0.03780 191 156 26 9
2642 And now my rendering of a little ditty I wrote, ‘Thrilla in Manila’. 1.2304 0.03632 191 154 30 7
2643 For this next piece, use of your mobile phones is encouraged. 1.2304 0.03707 191 155 28 8
2644 Good evening. I'm Rocky Marcipiano. 1.2304 0.03780 191 156 26 9
2645 This one is called "Saved by the Bell" 1.2301 0.03260 226 181 38 7
2646 This is it. Time to take the kid-gloves off. 1.2301 0.03378 226 183 34 9
2647 And now for my "Boxer Rebelion Overture #1 1.2301 0.03378 226 183 34 9
2648 Not to worry there is only one large ebony and one large ivory key 1.2300 0.03513 213 173 31 9
2649 For my next selection, Eye of the Tiger." 1.2300 0.03318 213 170 37 6
2650 Now for something a bit more heavyweight 1.2300 0.03112 213 167 43 3
2651 Manilla Thrilla" in B flat 1.2300 0.03513 213 173 31 9
2652 I'm going to punch up this next number a bit. 1.2300 0.03449 213 172 33 8
2653 And for our finale, the Theme from Rocky in D minor 1.2300 0.03664 200 163 28 9
2654 I'll be playing "Mitten on the Keys" 1.2299 0.03521 187 149 33 5
2655 FOR HIT SONGS ONLY 1.2299 0.03601 187 150 31 6
2656 And now Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. 1.2299 0.03438 187 148 35 4
2657 eat your heart out, Jerry Lee Lewis 1.2299 0.03858 174 141 26 7
2658 And now an obscure piece by Rocky Mannicoff... 1.2298 0.03230 248 201 37 10
2659 Would you mind holding your coughing until after the first round? 1.2298 0.03236 235 189 38 8
2660 I’d like to dedicate this next number to the inspirational Muhammad Ali. 1.2297 0.03296 222 178 37 7
2661 Tonight I will be playing Box' concerto. I may B Flat 1.2297 0.03648 222 184 25 13
2662 …and now, I’d like to perform Sugar Ray’s Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Minor. 1.2297 0.03357 222 179 35 8
2663 For my encore, Chopin’s lesser-known ‘Mitten Waltz’... 1.2297 0.03417 222 180 33 9
2664 Piano buffo? 1.2297 0.03534 222 182 29 11
2665 This fugue is a knockout. 1.2297 0.03417 222 180 33 9
2666 This one was my first big HIT! 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2667 How thoughtful, she gave me mittens to play "Baby it's Cold Outside." 1.2297 0.03491 209 169 32 8
2668 How about a little Duke Ellington? 1.2297 0.03424 209 168 34 7
2669 I've never been much of a tickler. 1.2297 0.03683 209 172 26 11
2670 Next I will play a piece from LL Cool J: "Mama Said Knock You Out" in F#m 1.2297 0.03287 209 166 38 5
2671 Are you ready to crescendo? 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2672 I will now improvise in the French manner. 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2673 And now, "Fight of the Bumble, Sing Like a Bee". 1.2296 0.03918 196 163 21 12
2674 Who forgot to tune this piano? 1.2296 0.03568 196 158 31 7
2675 This is an atonal rendition 1.2296 0.03568 196 158 31 7
2676 And now, the theme from the Boxer Rebellion 1.2296 0.03641 196 159 29 8
2677 Yes, of course I play by ear 1.2295 0.03811 183 149 26 8
2678 Float like a butterfly, pound on the keys. 1.2295 0.03889 183 150 24 9
2679 And now, The Ring Cycle for Dummies, in twelve rounds. 1.2294 0.03271 231 186 37 8
2680 I went to a prizefight and a sonata broke out. 1.2294 0.03457 218 177 32 9
2681 You say the Rach 3 is difficult? I’ll show you difficult. 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2682 And now for something pugilistic, in A minor. 1.2293 0.03396 205 164 35 6
2683 For my last number, Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee 1.2293 0.03465 205 165 33 7
2684 I hope you enjoy this punchy little number. 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2685 This part of the song requires you to punch things up. 1.2293 0.03601 205 167 29 9
2686 But I have bone spurs in my hands! 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2687 And now, Duke's Waltz, in D minor, A flat, and C. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2688 I'd like to thank the Mike Tyson Foundation for commissioning the next piece. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2689 I really hate this song. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2690 In honor of Boxing Day . . . 1.2292 0.03615 192 155 30 7
2691 And now, Box Prelude and Fugue in C Major. 1.2292 0.03615 192 155 30 7
2692 For the next prelude, the sheet music's dynamic said combattivissimo. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2693 Need a fellow to punch out a party tune? I'm your man." 1.2291 0.03306 227 183 36 8
2694 Tonight we will be beating out Beethoven's 5th. 1.2290 0.03370 214 172 35 7
2695 The doctors said it couldn't be done. 1.2290 0.03435 214 173 33 8
2696 Ladies and gentlemen, the kangaroo is off for the night. 1.2290 0.03498 214 174 31 9
2697 I glove a piano 1.2290 0.03435 214 173 33 8
2698 ...and this will be a real punchy number. 1.2290 0.03238 214 170 39 5
2699 My next composition is impressionistic with a touch of violence. 1.2289 0.03715 201 165 26 10
2700 Now a little known piece from Boxtehude 1.2289 0.03715 201 165 26 10
2701 Ladies and Gentlemen, Wagner's 'Ring Cycle.' 1.2289 0.03508 201 162 32 7
2702 This next one is Beethoven's 9th Symphony - the Rocky Balboa version. 1.2287 0.03663 188 152 29 7
2703 For my next number I'll play the Thrilla in Manila Concerto by Frazier. 1.2287 0.03462 223 182 31 10
2704 I didn't literally mean "I would punch out a tune" 1.2287 0.03220 223 178 39 6
2705 And now for my grand finale, I shall perform my very special rendition of that classic Simon and Garfunkle hit, "The Boxer." 1.2287 0.03157 223 177 41 5
2706 My critics say I can never hit the right key... 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2707 Étude No. 1 in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G, by my 18 months old son. 1.2286 0.03410 210 169 34 7
2708 For those who are sitting ringside—the theme from 'Rocky'.' 1.2286 0.03410 210 169 34 7
2709 I call it, "Concerto in A-minor Concussion for Graziano and flute." 1.2286 0.03476 210 170 32 8
2710 My next piece is the two-fisted Sonata. 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2711 Gloves come off when they turn up the heat. 1.2286 0.03476 210 170 32 8
2712 I'm sorry sir, that's not possible. I'm wearing boxing gloves. 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2713 Wait 'til I take the gloves off 1.2284 0.03315 232 188 35 9
2714 This Concerto may seem a little modern for some. 1.2284 0.03765 197 162 25 10
2715 This is my interpretation of Wagners "Ring" Cycle. 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2716 Beethoven's got two chances, slim and none. And slim just left town." 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2717 And now for my most recent composition, a reverential homage entitled "Beethoven's Fists" 1.2283 0.03443 219 178 32 9
2718 And now, a variation on ‘Flight of the Bumble Bee,’ I like to call, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee!’ 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2719 Tonight and one night only: Bach-y Balboa! 1.2283 0.03443 219 178 32 9
2720 This is Sugar Ray Leonard's Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor. 1.2283 0.03792 184 150 26 8
2721 Fortissimo is my forte 1.2283 0.03713 184 149 28 7
2722 And now, as I like to put it, I’m gonna go a few rounds with Ludwig van. 1.2283 0.03549 184 147 32 5
2723 Let's get ready to Rondoooooo! 1.2282 0.03518 206 167 31 8
2724 And one, two, one two, one two, 1.2282 0.03381 206 165 35 6
2725 And now - my interpretation of a Paul Simon classic. 1.2282 0.03651 206 169 27 10
2726 And now, my latest composition in celebration of Boxing Day. 1.2281 0.03520 228 188 28 12
2727 And now for my next selection, “The fight of the bumblebee.”! 1.2280 0.03745 193 158 26 9
2728 Oh no, I forgot the sheet music! 1.2280 0.03598 193 156 30 7
2729 I'd like to close with a medley of Jack White's greatest hits. 1.2280 0.03522 193 155 32 6
2730 Rachmaninoff always makes me punchy. 1.2279 0.03356 215 173 35 7
2731 I hope you enjoy the tunes I am about to knock out for you. 1.2279 0.03356 215 173 35 7
2732 And now I shall play the theme from Rocky. 1.2279 0.03421 215 174 33 8
2733 I can promise you’ll never hear Alkan’s ‘Concerto for Solo Piano’ the same way again. 1.2278 0.03681 180 145 29 6
2734 I will be playing fight of the bumblebee. 1.2277 0.03698 202 166 26 10
2735 And now to pound out a little different beat. 1.2277 0.03274 202 160 38 4
2736 For the first round, I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2277 0.03829 202 168 22 12
2737 And now I'd like to perform a mashup in ALL the majors and minors. 1.2277 0.03631 202 165 28 9
2738 So far so good. Now, with the gloves on, what is this one? 1.2277 0.03631 202 165 28 9
2739 They make Chopsticks much more difficult. 1.2277 0.03493 202 163 32 7
2740 This next number is why I am known as the best pound-for-pound pianist in this town. 1.2275 0.03488 189 151 33 5
2741 Tonight, you will hear me pound the keys like I've never done before. 1.2275 0.03870 189 156 23 10
2742 Okay, I guess the gloves aren’t coming off. 1.2275 0.03645 189 153 29 7
2743 I float like a butterfly and sting like the key of B. 1.2275 0.03526 211 172 30 9
2744 For obvious reasons, I will not be performing “Chopsticks’ tonight. 1.2275 0.03461 211 171 32 8
2745 I’d like to close with The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2275 0.03526 211 172 30 9
2746 I shall now play Chopin's Minute Waltz in ten seconds. It's a Knock Out! 1.2275 0.03246 233 188 37 8
2747 And now I will play my homage to John Cage. 1.2273 0.03305 220 177 36 7
2748 The maître d' just asked me to sit down and pound out a few numbers. 1.2273 0.03177 220 175 40 5
2749 You got a problem with that? 1.2273 0.03608 198 161 29 8
2750 My arrangement of the the new "13th DAY OF CHRISTMAS": BOXING DAY!!! 1.2273 0.03489 220 180 30 10
2751 Pardon me for any wrong notes, folks. These are actually my cello gloves. 1.2273 0.03678 198 162 27 9
2752 And next, Muhammad Ali's favorite, Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2273 0.03548 220 181 28 11
2753 For my encore, a little-known work by Rimsky-Korsakov: "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bumblebee." 1.2273 0.03388 198 158 35 5
2754 In the spirit of the times, I'm now going to play a little ditty I've tentatively titled: "Who Gives a Fuck Anymore?" 1.2273 0.03429 220 179 32 9
2755 Just a little something I put together for the Boxing Day annual concert. 1.2273 0.03732 176 142 28 6
2756 For tonight's performance, I will be playing 'Rocky's Theme Song' in D Minor. 1.2273 0.03818 176 143 26 7
2757 I am much better with drums 1.2273 0.03233 198 156 39 3
2758 I hope you find my next number a knock-out. 1.2273 0.03311 198 157 37 4
2759 My manager said I needed a knock-out tune. 1.2271 0.03367 207 166 35 6
2760 I could of been a contender instead of the bum of pianist I am. 1.2271 0.03435 207 167 33 7
2761 Intermission will be in three minutes. 1.2270 0.03532 185 148 32 5
2762 This makes it much simpler to play some of today’s new symphonies 1.2270 0.03773 185 151 26 8
2763 You told me to punch it up a bit. 1.2269 0.03343 216 174 35 7
2764 Tickle the ivories? More like pummel 'em. 1.2268 0.03429 194 155 34 5
2765 Every hit song needs a memorable left hook. 1.2268 0.03429 194 155 34 5
2766 No, not Fight of the Bumblebee, it’s Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2267 0.03376 225 183 33 9
2767 This next little number is called "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." 1.2266 0.03615 203 166 28 9
2768 Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. The composer has indicated the following passage be played sforzando fortissississimo. 1.2266 0.03406 203 163 34 6
2769 What's funny? 1.2266 0.03334 203 162 36 5
2770 I call this one "It's hard to sexually assault someone when you can't unzip your fly". (Louis C.K. 2019 Comeback Tour) 1.2265 0.03399 234 192 31 11
2771 A knock out performance of Rhapsody in Black and blue.... all 15 rounds 1.2265 0.03289 234 190 35 9
2772 This next piece is called "Boxing Sonata #2." 1.2264 0.03176 212 168 40 4
2773 To complete our tribute to the president, I will now play Mueller Said Knock You Out. 1.2264 0.03314 212 170 36 6
2774 Oh, no. I'm having a nightmare. 1.2264 0.03511 212 173 30 9
2775 "I've got a tough one coming up." 1.2261 0.03382 230 188 32 10
2776 And now, I’d like to play my new composition, the Rocky Balboa Piano Sonata #5. 1.2260 0.03352 208 167 35 6
2777 Next is "Flight of the Bumblebee," which I will also play blindfolded. 1.2260 0.03352 208 167 35 6
2778 The odds in Vegas are 25 to 1 that I defeat the piano. 1.2260 0.03282 208 166 37 5
2779 Well, it hurts to play Beethoven 1.2260 0.03682 208 172 25 11
2780 I will now play “Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang”. 1.2260 0.03352 208 167 35 6
2781 My next piece will be a concert for four hands, but Mike Tyson couldn't make it. 1.2258 0.03198 217 173 39 5
2782 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to try something I don't usually do. Simon & Garfunkel's 'The Boxer'. 1.2258 0.03597 186 150 30 6
2783 For my next song, a piece played solely on black and blue keys. 1.2258 0.03755 186 152 26 8
2784 Let's get ready to Rachmani-noffffff!" 1.2258 0.03455 217 177 31 9
2785 In tribute to Ali….”Flight of the Bumblebee” 1.2258 0.03677 186 151 28 7
2786 They told me it was harassment to tickle them, so I have to wear these. 1.2258 0.03392 217 176 33 8
2787 The next song I will be performing is sure to be a knockout. 1.2258 0.03832 186 153 24 9
2788 Pound for pound, I'd say Tchaikovsky. 1.2258 0.03198 217 173 39 5
2789 And now "The sting of the bumblebee" by Rimsky-Korsakov-Ali. 1.2257 0.03477 226 186 29 11
2790 And now my personal rendition of "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2257 0.03243 226 182 37 7
2791 Yes, I was the star of the 1939 movie Golden Boy. And yes, I was very musical. But I always wanted to be a boxer. Any other questions? 1.2257 0.03303 226 183 35 8
2792 I used to play the violin but I find the piano a lot easier. At least I don’t drop it. 1.2257 0.03589 226 188 25 13
2793 And now let me conclude with some Beathoven. 1.2256 0.03638 195 159 28 8
2794 It's my way of conveying the world's dissonance. 1.2256 0.03565 195 158 30 7
2795 For my next selection,I will play "The Flight of the Bumblebee". 1.2256 0.03638 195 159 28 8
2796 I just punched out this next piece. 1.2256 0.03565 195 158 30 7
2797 Hit 'em with the old one an' a two... 1.2255 0.03391 204 164 34 6
2798 And now, my own composition,"Le Cantique de George Foreman." 1.2255 0.03319 204 163 36 5
2799 Bom Bom Bom Bommm! 1.2255 0.03391 204 164 34 6
2800 Now for the crescendo! 1.2255 0.03599 204 167 28 9
2801 Now, I would like to conclude with an original composition. I call it "Ode to Ali" 1.2255 0.03319 204 163 36 5
2802 And now . . . the theme song from "Rocky." 1.2255 0.03462 204 165 32 7
2803 And now, Michael Jackson's "Beat it." 1.2255 0.03391 204 164 34 6
2804 I don't want to spread my cold to the next contestant. 1.2254 0.03232 213 170 38 5
2805 It's for the artillery chorus in the 2012 Overture... 1.2254 0.03496 213 174 30 9
2806 A little help here? 1.2254 0.03232 213 170 38 5
2807 I will now perform John Cage’s 4’ 33”. 1.2253 0.02968 253 202 45 6
2808 Box Symphony is just Bach's Symphony but with a nicer ring to it 1.2251 0.03455 191 153 33 5
2809 The night he realized "Put Up Your Dukes" wasn't coined after Duke Ellington. 1.2251 0.03534 191 154 31 6
2810 And now, excerpts from The Ring, by Sonny Liszton. 1.2251 0.03534 191 154 31 6
2811 Let's get ready to ready to rumble! 1.2251 0.03369 231 189 32 10
2812 I am just a poor boy But my story is seldom told... 1.2251 0.03369 231 189 32 10
2813 I had a fight with the rest of the quartet. 1.2250 0.03504 200 162 31 7
2814 Punchdrunk, am I? Keep smiling like that and you'll lose those 88 teeth!" 1.2250 0.03504 200 162 31 7
2815 At least I'm not all thumbs! 1.2250 0.03504 200 162 31 7
2816 The next piece is called, “Requiem for a Pugilist” 1.2250 0.03432 200 161 33 6
2817 Hecklers, beware! 1.2250 0.03282 200 159 37 4
2818 Now for the percussion crescendo, molto allegro 1.2250 0.03432 200 161 33 6
2819 Dang.These talent contests are brutal. 1.2250 0.03645 200 164 27 9
2820 At least I'm no longer "all thumbs" 1.2249 0.03538 209 171 29 9
2821 What I said was, I could outplay you with one hand tied behind my back...! 1.2249 0.03338 209 168 35 6
2822 Now we will punch up the tempo and add a bit pzazz to this Rachmaninov piano concerto 1.2249 0.03338 209 168 35 6
2823 And for my finale... The Flight of the Bumblebee challenge 1.2249 0.03603 209 172 27 10
2824 Standing up....in a hammock, if you must know. 1.2248 0.03561 218 180 27 11
2825 Okay, so my dare is to knock out a few tunes. 1.2248 0.03378 218 177 33 8
2826 And now, to conclude tonight's tribute to Sylvester Stallone, the theme from 'Rocky.'" 1.2248 0.03620 218 181 25 12
2827 Life is choices and family compromise. My dad wanted me to be a boxer, my mom a pianist, but I just wanted to play the drums. 1.2248 0.03251 218 175 37 6
2828 My next piece is called the "Lamotta Cantata 1.2248 0.03251 218 175 37 6
2829 For my encore I’ll play ‘The Boxer’ by Paul Simon 1.2247 0.03863 178 146 24 8
2830 Rocky the Musical 1.2247 0.03407 227 186 31 10
2831 And now for my next number, the theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2247 0.03231 227 183 37 7
2832 And now, a Box concerto. 1.2246 0.03659 187 152 28 7
2833 I give you Rockymaninoff piano sequel III. 1.2246 0.03498 187 150 32 5
2834 Well how else am I supposed to express my anger? 1.2246 0.03580 187 151 30 6
2835 This next number is inspired by the life of Mike Tyson. 1.2246 0.03319 236 193 33 10
2836 This evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to pound out Chopin's Nocturne in B Sharp Minor. 1.2245 0.03474 196 158 32 6
2837 It's Box Fugue in G Minor! Hang on, I was just getting to the hook. 1.2245 0.03548 196 159 30 7
2838 You've just heard me float like a butterfly. Now, listen as I sting like a bee. 1.2244 0.03447 205 166 32 7
2839 And now, Pummel in Fugue in 5 rounds 1.2244 0.03232 205 163 38 4
2840 Hope you like this punchy number. 1.2244 0.03583 205 168 28 9
2841 In my next round, I will be playing.... 1.2244 0.03714 205 170 24 11
2842 Please excuse me Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m fighting a cold tonight. 1.2243 0.03481 214 175 30 9
2843 I call this piece "All the Wrong Notes" which uncannily makes it all sound right. 1.2243 0.03080 214 169 42 3
2844 This next one's going to be a knock-out. 1.2243 0.03353 214 173 34 7
2845 I'm a little punchy. 1.2241 0.03465 232 192 28 12
2846 Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for our latest sensation, Beat-hoven!" 1.2241 0.03657 174 140 29 5
2847 Sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. 1.2240 0.03627 183 148 29 6
2848 And now for the Box Set? 1.2240 0.03815 192 159 23 10
2849 I couldn't decide between sports and music 1.2240 0.03594 192 156 29 7
2850 My next selection is Rope-a-Dope in C Major. 1.2240 0.03669 192 157 27 8
2851 Now, I'll knock out a number that you all know. 1.2240 0.03594 192 156 29 7
2852 You may notice me pounding the keys tonight with a little more punch than usual, folks. 1.2240 0.03439 192 154 33 5
2853 Hello everybody, my name is Wolfgang Amadeus Balboa. 1.2239 0.03268 201 160 37 4
2854 And now, for your listening pleasure: the John Philip Sousa rendition of "Kitten on the Keys". 1.2239 0.03489 201 163 31 7
2855 I will now try Bach-sing. 1.2239 0.03628 201 165 27 9
2856 I will now play "Flight of the Muhammad Ali" 1.2239 0.03628 201 165 27 9
2857 I have always been a fierce competitor! 1.2238 0.03254 210 168 37 5
2858 I am about to play Rockymaninoff’s Symphonic Dances 1.2237 0.03277 228 185 35 8
2859 The melody of modern politics. 1.2236 0.03306 237 194 33 10
2860 Hey, it's like my piano teacher, Mickey, once told me: "You'll be able to spit notes, kid. You're gonna eat sonatas and you're gonna crap concertos. You're gonna become a very musical person." 1.2234 0.03562 188 152 30 6
2861 When I'm through with it, it'll be a mini grand piano. 1.2234 0.03719 188 154 26 8
2862 My left hook is quite sharp, but my right jab is flat 1.2233 0.03432 206 167 32 7
2863 I will now play the Muhammad Ali Amadeus concerto the way it was intended. 1.2233 0.03500 206 168 30 8
2864 Next up: 'Flight of the Stumblebum' 1.2233 0.03432 206 167 32 7
2865 Ladies and Gentlemen...The Concerto For The Nail-Biter in D-minor 1.2233 0.03432 206 167 32 7
2866 Box Toccata and Fugue has been requested. 1.2233 0.03500 206 168 30 8
2867 And now I’ll be playing Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 4, better known as the one where Rocky fights the Russian. 1.2233 0.03291 206 165 36 5
2868 And now from my modern version of the Nutcracker, here is "Melee of the Sugar Plum Faries." 1.2233 0.03567 206 169 28 9
2869 Here is the musical stylings of the Black Eyed Keys. 1.2233 0.03432 206 167 32 7
2870 Would Ed Sullivan have loved this, or what! 1.2233 0.03500 206 168 30 8
2871 For my next performance I'd like to punch out a little ditty. 1.2233 0.03206 215 172 38 5
2872 I will now perform variations on a famous theme of John Cage. 1.2233 0.03339 215 174 34 7
2873 It gives the music the right hook 1.2233 0.03590 215 178 26 11
2874 Just in case I get in treble while playing. 1.2233 0.03206 215 172 38 5
2875 this next piece is from "Rocky". 1.2233 0.03339 215 174 34 7
2876 And now I would like to perform Rocky's 5th. 1.2233 0.03528 215 177 28 10
2877 And now, ‘Chopsticks.’ 1.2233 0.03403 215 175 32 8
2878 Common time?! I only know the ole' one-two! 1.2233 0.03273 215 173 36 6
2879 The Boxer”? Don’t know that one 1.2233 0.03403 215 175 32 8
2880 This next song will knock your socks off! 1.2232 0.03432 224 184 30 10
2881 And now, the Ring Cycle! 1.2228 0.03652 193 158 27 8
2882 What? I thought I was supposed to play "The Boxer"... 1.2228 0.03652 193 158 27 8
2883 I play with my boxer shorts on too! 1.2228 0.03652 193 158 27 8
2884 I prefer to punch out a tune 1.2228 0.03401 202 163 33 6
2885 Merry England, holiday time, Boxing Day concert. 1.2228 0.03401 202 163 33 6
2886 And now I will pound the hell out of the keys... 1.2228 0.03746 202 168 23 11
2887 This next song is known for it's hook. 1.2228 0.03612 202 166 27 9
2888 I punched out this next piece earlier today. 1.2228 0.03253 202 161 37 4
2889 Tonight,I introduce a new work "Massacre in A" by Klitschko. 1.2228 0.03401 202 163 33 6
2890 I guess I'll roll with the punches. 1.2228 0.03253 202 161 37 4
2891 My next piece will really be a knockout. 1.2227 0.03443 211 172 31 8
2892 And now, after having finished the slow pieces of tonight's concert we're going to really punch up the tempo. 1.2227 0.03309 211 170 35 6
2893 It's only available as a boxed set. 1.2227 0.03309 211 170 35 6
2894 Paderewski? I'll moider de bum! 1.2227 0.03309 211 170 35 6
2895 I have entitled this next piece: Dischord 1.2227 0.03309 211 170 35 6
2896 And for my encore, I will play “The Theme From Rocky! 1.2227 0.03170 211 168 39 4
2897 I can't hold or play chopsticks. 1.2227 0.03412 220 180 31 9
2898 And now, may I present, Rocky the Musical 1.2227 0.03472 220 181 29 10
2899 And for my encore I will play "The Fight of the Bumble Bee." 1.2227 0.03351 220 179 33 8
2900 And a left, and a right, and a left right left right. 1.2227 0.03159 220 176 39 5
2901 This next number is called, 'Fight of the Bumble Bees', feel free to sting along." 1.2227 0.03264 229 186 35 8
2902 I'm preparing a Boxing Day concert for the royal family. 1.2227 0.03128 238 192 39 7
2903 Piano-fought-e 1.2227 0.03184 238 193 37 8
2904 And now I'll perform my latest big hit. 1.2222 0.03452 216 177 30 9
2905 Please turn off all flash photography during the performance. 1.2222 0.03728 198 164 24 10
2906 This one will knock you out! 1.2222 0.03367 198 159 34 5
2907 This next number I shall now do on you is "Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2222 0.03776 189 156 24 9
2908 My composition is in the key of B-flat. 1.2222 0.03360 225 184 32 9
2909 Just hit the keys lightly, don't knock them out! 1.2222 0.03259 216 174 36 6
2910 This next song may be a bit off key. 1.2222 0.03551 207 170 28 9
2911 I'll never bet again... never 1.2222 0.03551 207 170 28 9
2912 Shut the fuck up. 1.2222 0.03867 207 175 18 14
2913 I am pleased to open tonight’s Masochist Society gala with a special performance of “Flight of the Bumble Bee”. 1.2222 0.03442 198 160 32 6
2914 You'll have to forgive me if my Bachsing is a little Rocky. 1.2222 0.03624 189 154 28 7
2915 Any requests I can pound out for you? 1.2222 0.03484 180 144 32 4
2916 Tonight's Key Player: Rocky Man-in-Off 1.2222 0.03922 189 158 20 11
2917 And now, my version of Chopsticks. 1.2222 0.03325 216 175 34 7
2918 They don't respond well to tickling..... 1.2222 0.03574 216 179 26 11
2919 Do I hear a request for “The Theme From ‘Rocky’? 1.2222 0.03452 216 177 30 9
2920 My next selection is, Beat me daddy eight to the bar. 1.2222 0.03728 198 164 24 10
2921 Here's a chord progression within the circle of fists. 1.2222 0.03797 198 165 22 11
2922 Float like Jarrett, sting like Monk. 1.2217 0.03275 221 179 35 7
2923 A sacred performance of the Boxing Day classics “O Come All Ye KO” “Ring-Side Bells”, and “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”. 1.2217 0.03398 221 181 31 9
2924 And now for some of my more obscure hits... 1.2217 0.03663 203 168 25 10
2925 Horace took the Jazz Meistro seriously when he shouted "Hit it!" 1.2217 0.03314 203 163 35 5
2926 I'd like to play for you a sonata composed by Chucky, my golden retriever. 1.2217 0.03729 203 169 23 11
2927 Next is a little diddy I call, "TKO". 1.2217 0.03386 203 164 33 6
2928 This isn't The Ring I was expecting. 1.2217 0.03596 203 167 27 9
2929 Rocky-maninoff Piano Concerto No. 2 you say? 1.2216 0.03561 194 158 29 7
2930 IT'S OK, I TUNED IT WITH THESE ON. 1.2216 0.03328 194 155 35 4
2931 I am proud to be a contender in this year‘s Van Cliburn competition... 1.2216 0.03673 185 151 27 7
2932 And now I take the gloves off and play a mean Chopin. 1.2216 0.03592 185 150 29 6
2933 My next number is "Bust Your Chopsticks" 1.2212 0.03437 217 178 30 9
2934 You can call me Mittstro. 1.2212 0.03619 217 181 24 12
2935 I dedicate this song to Mrs. Shirley Abercrombie, who sent me packing from this keyboard, sobbing, 'Never again Jimmy!' 1.2212 0.03311 217 176 34 7
2936 It's called Rhapsody in Gloves 1.2212 0.03179 217 174 38 5
2937 Just a brief encore... I have to get across town before the bell for the opening round. 1.2212 0.03402 208 169 32 7
2938 I will now play "Gonna Fly Now" as it was originally composed by Rocky Balboa. 1.2212 0.03402 208 169 32 7
2939 Piano Concert on Boxing Day. 1.2212 0.03469 208 170 30 8
2940 I just think Rachmaninoff's no. 2 needs a little punching up. 1.2211 0.03711 199 165 24 10
2941 I hope no one notices that my socks don't match. 1.2211 0.03500 199 162 30 7
2942 They told me, "Knock yourself out!" 1.2211 0.03642 199 164 26 9
2943 I call this composition, 'Hey Kids, Get Away From The Piano!' 1.2211 0.03427 199 161 32 6
2944 Since I’m in between rounds, there is only enough time to play Chopin’s Minute Waltz. 1.2211 0.03529 190 154 30 6
2945 Now, for my rendition of The Rocky Concerto 1.2207 0.03323 222 181 33 8
2946 I will now play the Mike Tyson sonata no.3 in knocked flat opus 12 round 5. 1.2207 0.03478 213 175 29 9
2947 Welcome to dueling pianos. 1.2207 0.03603 213 177 25 11
2948 Sam, don't play it again. 1.2207 0.03603 213 177 25 11
2949 Know it?? I wrote it!! 1.2206 0.03442 204 166 31 7
2950 For my next selection, the prelude to We Will Rock You. 1.2206 0.03225 204 163 37 4
2951 Now I shall play my version of Box Concerto. 1.2206 0.03512 204 167 29 8
2952 Here is my bellicose rendition of Chopin. 1.2206 0.03442 204 166 31 7
2953 Now for my rendition of the theme from Rocky. 1.2205 0.03392 195 157 33 5
2954 Now my interpretation of Simon & Garfunkel's The Boxer. 1.2205 0.03313 195 156 35 4
2955 For this next piece, I got my inspiration from Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2205 0.03544 195 159 29 7
2956 And for my next number, Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" sonata. 1.2204 0.03492 186 150 31 5
2957 My next offering is "Tempest in a Trump-pot" in F#*@ Major. 1.2203 0.03358 236 195 30 11
2958 What do you mean by "forte" fortissimo? 1.2203 0.02961 227 180 44 3
2959 In this next Mixed Martial Arts bout my opponent is J S Bach 1.2203 0.03333 227 186 32 9
2960 And now for a change of pace, the Pugilist's Polka. 1.2202 0.03233 218 176 36 6
2961 The cacophony suite is a new work 1.2202 0.03166 218 175 38 5
2962 Oh and Mike Tyson can act? 1.2202 0.03484 218 180 28 10
2963 Welcome to Full Contact Sonatas. 1.2201 0.03585 209 173 26 10
2964 I'm gonna knock out this tune so badly, you won't even recognize it by the time I'm done ! 1.2201 0.03387 209 170 32 7
2965 I call it "Requiem to a glass jaw" 1.2201 0.03585 209 173 26 10
2966 I feel like this method captures more of the emotion, you know? 1.2201 0.03104 209 166 40 3
2967 And now, something a little more lively. 1.2201 0.03387 209 170 32 7
2968 As a pugilist pianist I prefer to pound the piano 1.2201 0.03454 209 171 30 8
2969 The theme song from Rocky, why? 1.2201 0.03387 209 170 32 7
2970 Don’t make me take the gloves off. 1.2201 0.03249 209 168 36 5
2971 You didn't tell me I was going to have to perform 'Chopsticks' 1.2200 0.03484 200 163 30 7
2972 I thought I'd punch it up a bit 1.2200 0.03337 200 161 34 5
2973 And now I will fight the piano. 1.2200 0.03694 200 166 24 10
2974 ...and now another Simon and Garfunkel favorite- The Boxer. 1.2200 0.03261 200 160 36 4
2975 I'll take these off after my first piece and I guarantee you're going to love the rest of my performance. 1.2200 0.03556 200 164 28 8
2976 I make no excuses. 1.2200 0.03337 200 161 34 5
2977 This next piece is by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2200 0.03484 200 163 30 7
2978 As an encore, I will preform all 31 Goldberg Variations within 42 seconds. 1.2200 0.03411 200 162 32 6
2979 I play like Duke Ellington and hum like a bee! 1.2200 0.03337 200 161 34 5
2980 I’ve had a request for Music Dance Boxer. 1.2200 0.03556 200 164 28 8
2981 And now, my latest composition, "Blammo, blonk, blonk." 1.2200 0.03337 200 161 34 5
2982 I'm going to dedicate this next song to the back row. 1.2199 0.03740 191 158 24 9
2983 At the bell I will perform "Ode to Adrian", by Rocky Balboa. 1.2198 0.03109 232 187 39 6
2984 I believe I left an order for the piano with the very large keys. 1.2198 0.03226 232 189 35 8
2985 It's me against the music. 1.2197 0.03248 223 181 35 7
2986 Ladies & Gentlemen, Theme from Rocky 12 in F Major. 1.2197 0.03310 223 182 33 8
2987 I only play power ballads. 1.2197 0.03488 223 185 27 11
2988 And now, a new and different arrangement of Brahm's Lullaby. 1.2197 0.03830 173 142 24 7
2989 Ladies and Gentlemen, this part of the score needs to be punched up a bit. 1.2196 0.03268 214 173 35 6
2990 ...but enough silly love songs. Time for some silly glove songs! 1.2196 0.03334 214 174 33 7
2991 Because this next piece was too easy for me . . . 1.2195 0.03427 205 167 31 7
2992 I feel like my current job is boxing me in. 1.2195 0.03496 205 168 29 8
2993 And now, for the main event, the "Hammerklavier" Sonata. 1.2195 0.03357 205 166 33 6
2994 And now, for my grand finale, Fight of the Bumblebees 1.2195 0.03285 205 165 35 5
2995 This is just cruel. 1.2194 0.03237 237 194 34 9
2996 May I punch out a tune for you? 1.2194 0.03376 196 158 33 5
2997 Here's the hook. 1.2194 0.03601 196 161 27 8
2998 Does it start...Ba,Ba,Ba,BOOM! 1.2194 0.03453 196 159 31 6
2999 I'm thinking outside of the boxing ring. 1.2193 0.03320 228 187 32 9
3000 Beat me, daddy, eight to the bar! 1.2193 0.03320 228 187 32 9
3001 I know — I could’ve been a contender, instead of a piano player . . . which is what I am 1.2193 0.03140 228 184 38 6
3002 Tonight's performance will be "A Little Rocky. 1.2193 0.03637 187 153 27 7
3003 Well the position said it was for a keypunch operator. 1.2193 0.03715 187 154 25 8
3004 left jab, right cross, left hook, arpeggio. 1.2193 0.03475 187 151 31 5
3005 Break a LEG next time 1.2193 0.03715 187 154 25 8
3006 No. I can’t play “Flight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2192 0.03347 219 179 32 8
3007 And now, Round 3. 1.2192 0.03284 219 178 34 7
3008 Please ring the bell in the key of E. 1.2190 0.03091 210 167 40 3
3009 You said pianoforte, didn’t you? 1.2190 0.03373 210 171 32 7
3010 let me punch out a few of my hits 1.2190 0.03304 210 170 34 6
3011 Applause is highly encouraged. 1.2189 0.03609 201 166 26 9
3012 Thank you so much. Next, I'd like to play the theme from Rocky. 1.2189 0.03469 201 164 30 7
3013 I'll punch it out! 1.2188 0.03496 192 156 30 6
3014 But I'm still training. 1.2188 0.03573 192 157 28 7
3015 And now one of my personal favorites, Rocky Balboa's Louie Louie in C minor. 1.2188 0.03496 192 156 30 6
3016 And now, the Thrillah in Manillah 1.2188 0.03235 224 182 35 7
3017 I shall now play the timeless classic, ‘Moonfight Sonata’’, by the great Sugar Bee Thoven. 1.2188 0.03496 192 156 30 6
3018 I call my next composition,"TKO in A Minor." 1.2186 0.03385 215 176 31 8
3019 Imma nockturne you out. 1.2186 0.03254 215 174 35 6
3020 Any requests for tunes you want me to bang out? 1.2186 0.03254 215 174 35 6
3021 Actually, it’s a request from Mr. Steinway himself..... 1.2186 0.03320 215 175 33 7
3022 For my next number, I will sting like a bee. 1.2186 0.03767 183 151 24 8
3023 For the Scriabin, the gloves come off! 1.2184 0.03548 206 170 27 9
3024 Its a tough piece to master. 1.2184 0.03270 206 166 35 5
3025 Any problem? Meet me outside! 1.2184 0.03548 206 170 27 9
3026 Bach's...ing gloves 1.2183 0.03364 229 189 30 10
3027 And now for some improvisational jabs. 1.2183 0.03283 197 158 35 4
3028 And now for my rendition of The Boxer 1.2183 0.03437 197 160 31 6
3029 Uppercut in D Minor aka Straight To The Moonlight Sonata 1.2183 0.03863 197 166 19 12
3030 And now...a little Toughaikovsky. 1.2183 0.03656 197 163 25 9
3031 My stylist says it helps the nail polish last longer. 1.2183 0.03361 197 159 33 5
3032 I am now going to perform a song by Simon and Garfunkel 1.2182 0.03455 220 182 28 10
3033 No, sorry. 88 Fingers Louie couldn’t make it tonight. I’m 2 Gloves Sal. 1.2181 0.03459 188 152 31 5
3034 Next, a smashing transcription of The Ring Cycle. 1.2181 0.03620 188 154 27 7
3035 And now, from the masterful soundtrack of Rocky. 1.2180 0.03290 211 171 34 6
3036 For my next piece, "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2180 0.03425 211 173 30 8
3037 It would be unethical of me to wager, but Las Vegas has it 3:1 for Prokofiev. 1.2178 0.03524 202 166 28 8
3038 This next piece is titled Füry Elise. 1.2178 0.03524 202 166 28 8
3039 This next composition is written to go nine rounds. 1.2178 0.03307 202 163 34 5
3040 I find this is the safest way to perform the “Nutcracker” 1.2178 0.03524 202 166 28 8
3041 These are the most ticklish ivories I've ever seen. 1.2178 0.03453 202 165 30 7
3042 I ain't no friend of the piano, see? 1.2178 0.03460 225 187 27 11
3043 For my next performance, I will be playing the theme from the movie Rocky. 1.2178 0.03283 225 184 33 8
3044 It’s fortissississimo all the way, all the way! 1.2176 0.03631 193 159 26 8
3045 I really like to belt out a song. 1.2176 0.03479 193 157 30 6
3046 This piece of music was written by the late,great Muhammad Ali 1.2176 0.03321 193 155 34 4
3047 And now “The Boxer,” by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2176 0.03241 216 175 35 6
3048 I call this next piece "Float like a Butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.2176 0.03371 216 177 31 8
3049 Live at the Apollo Creed 1.2176 0.03434 216 178 29 9
3050 The next piece was originally performed by Simon and Garfunkel 1.2176 0.03241 216 175 35 6
3051 And now, in the key of B flat, the theme from Rocky 1.2174 0.03466 207 170 29 8
3052 Well, it's really only my voice they're interested in anyway. 1.2174 0.03256 207 167 35 5
3053 I will now play Ode to Ali. 1.2172 0.03381 221 182 30 9
3054 Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, you will be grateful. 1.2172 0.03193 221 179 36 6
3055 My next selection will be "The Death of the Bumblebee>" 1.2172 0.03257 221 180 34 7
3056 Now, this piece must be played with a one-two punch. 1.2172 0.03421 198 161 31 6
3057 Let me try that again in G major. 1.2172 0.03421 198 161 31 6
3058 Gloves, Maestro, Please ?? 1.2172 0.03709 198 165 23 10
3059 Ol' Black and Blue Eyes. 1.2171 0.03613 175 142 28 5
3060 Pound it once, Sam. For old times' sake. 1.2170 0.03207 212 171 36 5
3061 Who'd like to hear the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth again? 1.2170 0.03475 212 175 28 9
3062 And the beat goes on. 1.2170 0.03475 212 175 28 9
3063 Thanks... I get Billy Joel a lot! 1.2170 0.03475 212 175 28 9
3064 Next I shall play Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 21, K.O. 467 1.2170 0.03344 212 173 32 7
3065 I'm also a part time nurse. 1.2170 0.03276 212 172 34 6
3066 The next piece is a punchy rendition of O Holy Night. 1.2169 0.03680 189 156 25 8
3067 Flight of the bumblebee. Ohooo Kay. 1.2169 0.03602 189 155 27 7
3068 You seen me float like a butterfly - now here's my Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2169 0.03680 189 156 25 8
3069 Ladies and Gentlemen...Let's get ready to rhumbaaaaaaaaa!!! 1.2169 0.03360 189 152 33 4
3070 Millenials are tone-deaf to high culture, so what does it matter? 1.2168 0.03446 226 188 27 11
3071 I will begin with a selection from Beethoven; move to a piece from Chopin, and end with some knockout jazz. 1.2168 0.03209 226 184 35 7
3072 A brief announcement: I'll not be holding any punches in this next piece. 1.2168 0.03148 226 183 37 6
3073 It's the only way to play The Boxer Rebellion Symphony in D Flat." 1.2167 0.03366 203 165 32 6
3074 And now, a selection by Beat-hoven. 1.2167 0.03366 203 165 32 6
3075 Next, a medley of hits from a little known Stevie Wonder album, 'Songs in the Key of Strife.' 1.2167 0.03548 180 146 29 5
3076 Too much bass? 1.2166 0.03542 217 181 25 11
3077 I'm a bit out of practice so I'm just gonna roll with the punches. 1.2166 0.03293 217 177 33 7
3078 Okay, who wants to hear some Mahler? 1.2166 0.03482 217 180 27 10
3079 I told you that I was a pianist not a pugilist! 1.2166 0.03293 217 177 33 7
3080 I shall now perform Wagner's 'Ring'. 1.2166 0.03293 217 177 33 7
3081 You should see what I'm wearing below the belt. 1.2166 0.03227 217 176 35 6
3082 They said if I wanted a raise, the gloves had to come off. 1.2165 0.03224 194 155 36 3
3083 Punching up the performance suddenly felt like a mistake. 1.2165 0.03614 194 160 26 8
3084 Hey, it's boxing day! 1.2165 0.03385 194 157 32 5
3085 You want me to bang this one out, don't you? 1.2165 0.03463 194 158 30 6
3086 My teacher said the audience would go wild! 1.2165 0.03281 231 190 32 9
3087 I only play bareknuckle at dive bars 1.2165 0.03393 231 192 28 11
3088 This one is a little punchier.” 1.2163 0.03170 208 167 37 4
3089 I call it the Boxing Day Concerto. 1.2163 0.03242 208 168 35 5
3090 I have a request to play the Rocky Theme Song. 1.2163 0.03383 208 170 31 7
3091 Next, I will play Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee by Cassius Clay 1.2163 0.03383 208 170 31 7
3092 For my next number I'd like to play an extract from the soundtrack for "Rocky" called "One More Round". 1.2163 0.03242 208 168 35 5
3093 I once played this way at the White House. The President said he too played this way - once at Carnegie Hall. He felt he should have received a Grammy for the concert but a liberal conspiracy stole it from him. 1.2162 0.03650 185 152 26 7
3094 I don’t use the pedal. 1.2162 0.03180 222 180 36 6
3095 Liberace's Nightmare 1.2161 0.03120 236 192 37 7
3096 See dad where "pounding the keys" got me! 1.2161 0.03331 199 161 33 5
3097 Do-Re-Mi-Jab-Cross-Hook 1.2161 0.03406 199 162 31 6
3098 Are we sure a Rocky and the Piano crossover movie is going to work? 1.2161 0.03406 199 162 31 6
3099 Sorry. I only play Bartok. 1.2160 0.03460 213 176 28 9
3100 I will now play the 'Flight of the Rumble Bee'. 1.2160 0.03330 213 174 32 7
3101 And in this corner, coming in at 5'10" and 155 pounds, his C major will bring you off your seat, the pianist from Vienna... 1.2160 0.03263 213 173 34 6
3102 I'm prepared to knock you out if you ask me to play 'Piano Man' one more time... 1.2160 0.03124 213 171 38 4
3103 I'm going to give this baby a pounding. 1.2160 0.03263 213 173 34 6
3104 For my encore, I have been requested to take off my gloves and play "The Theme from Rocky" 1.2158 0.03344 190 153 33 4
3105 My next piece is a jab-jab-cross in 3/4 time 1.2158 0.03585 190 156 27 7
3106 ¨As humans, this is the closest we can get to Thelonious¨ 1.2157 0.03492 204 168 28 8
3107 When they called him the Muhammad Ali of piano, I didn’t think it was so literal. 1.2157 0.03204 204 164 36 4
3108 This next piece is called ‘Bopsticks.’ 1.2157 0.03492 204 168 28 8
3109 Any requests APART from Flight of the Bumblebee? 1.2157 0.03423 204 167 30 7
3110 Sure. I'm a concert pianist; but I like to punch out a little jazz on the ivories just as much as the next guy! 1.2157 0.03204 204 164 36 4
3111 And in this corner, our returning, dueling piano champion 1.2157 0.03204 204 164 36 4
3112 This one has a very catchy hook” 1.2157 0.03351 204 166 32 6
3113 This evening I will only play octaves 1.2157 0.03278 204 165 34 5
3114 As a matter of fact, I was somewhat suspicious when my manager referred to this gig as "undercard." 1.2157 0.03351 204 166 32 6
3115 The next concerto is twelve 3-minute movements with 2 minutes of rest between movements. 1.2157 0.03423 204 167 30 7
3116 For those who say my playing is too sensitive... 1.2156 0.03279 218 178 33 7
3117 And for the next song from my new boxed set . . . 1.2156 0.03214 218 177 35 6
3118 And now "Mama Said Knock You Out" in G minor. 1.2156 0.03528 218 182 25 11
3119 Really? I thought this was how Thelonious Monk got his sound. 1.2155 0.03268 232 191 32 9
3120 You'd wear boxing gloves too, if you slammed your hands in a Grand Piano. 1.2155 0.03031 232 187 40 5
3121 And now "The Boxing Blues" 1.2155 0.03151 232 189 36 7
3122 Ooooooh.... you meant Bach's piano music? 1.2154 0.03447 195 159 30 6
3123 I need a new manager." 1.2154 0.03523 195 160 28 7
3124 And in keeping with tonight's authentic concert series, here's an old Simon and Garfunkel hit..."The Boxer.." 1.2154 0.03597 195 161 26 8
3125 For my next selection, I would like to play "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2154 0.03597 195 161 26 8
3126 Alright, who called me a "pee-anus"? 1.2154 0.03670 195 162 24 9
3127 I'll just roll with the punches. 1.2153 0.03299 209 170 33 6
3128 I'd now like to play Everlast Love. 1.2153 0.03436 209 172 29 8
3129 He composed his first concerto when he was six months old. 1.2153 0.03631 209 175 23 11
3130 Yes...and Richter and Monet destroyed some of their works of art. So what's your point 1.2153 0.03436 209 172 29 8
3131 In my next piece ... I will float like the "Butterfly", sing like a bee. 1.2153 0.03368 209 171 31 7
3132 Yo, maestro! 1.2152 0.03231 223 182 34 7
3133 This next piece is entitled “float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven” 1.2152 0.03293 223 183 32 8
3134 Once again, Henry was faced with the question: was he a lover, or a fighter? 1.2152 0.03103 223 180 38 5
3135 Now I know how the Democrats feel! 1.2152 0.03231 223 182 34 7
3136 No refunds 1.2152 0.02869 237 189 45 3
3137 And now a piece by our esteemed conductor, Michael Tyson Thomas. 1.2151 0.03551 186 152 28 6
3138 And now, here to play the theme song from "Rocky"... 1.2150 0.03464 200 164 29 7
3139 Ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest we prepare ourselves to rumble? 1.2150 0.03316 200 162 33 5
3140 Float like a butterfly, fly like a bumblebee. 1.2150 0.03464 200 164 29 7
3141 For my final piece this evening, I will be performing Beethoven's Piano Concerto No.5, his 'Emperor,' this time moving away from the sweat style of Sugar Ray Leonard to the awe inspiring stamina and knockout artistry of Rocky Marciano. 1.2150 0.03249 214 174 34 6
3142 This sonata has a punchy finish. 1.2150 0.03381 214 176 30 8
3143 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, a work by J.S. Box. 1.2150 0.03381 214 176 30 8
3144 And now, my rendition of, "The Thrilla in Manilla." 1.2150 0.03249 214 174 34 6
3145 Thank you, thank you. Now for an encore, I will play Autumn Leaves with my wrists handcuffed behind my back. 1.2150 0.03249 214 174 34 6
3146 Why are the keys so tightly spaced? 1.2149 0.03361 228 189 29 10
3147 And, after sparing a little with my friend Mozart , it's now time to take off the gloves and duke it out with one Sergei Rachmaninoff. 1.2149 0.03184 228 186 35 7
3148 I hope you like my version of a song made famous by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2147 0.03328 191 154 33 4
3149 And now, an old Simon & Garfunkel favorite ... 1.2146 0.03337 205 167 32 6
3150 This tender number is about to become more tender. 1.2146 0.03477 205 169 28 8
3151 For my encore,I wish to play the beloved piano solo,Chopin's "SP'ZJMVPOIALKNCV38XSLAEADSNZKSX." 1.2146 0.03391 219 181 29 9
3152 Tonight my concerto for the left hook. 1.2146 0.03139 233 190 36 7
3153 This is the part where we all sing together 1.2146 0.03255 233 192 32 9
3154 I will now play Beethoven's 3rd Symphony in the key of TKO 1.2143 0.03285 210 171 33 6
3155 That tune was from my new album, ‘Mozart on Meth!’ 1.2143 0.03425 182 147 31 4
3156 And for my encore, I'll be playing the finale to "The 1812 Overture". 1.2143 0.03581 196 162 26 8
3157 This next number is from Ali's 'The Ring Cycle'. 1.2143 0.03421 210 173 29 8
3158 So you see, it's easy to hit the right note. 1.2143 0.03155 224 182 36 6
3159 Yo Adrian!!!! This one's for you. 1.2143 0.03581 196 162 26 8
3160 It's by Khachaturian. 1.2143 0.03353 210 172 31 7
3161 And then I wrote “Sonata to a Left Uppercut .” 1.2143 0.03279 224 184 32 8
3162 I'll pound out your favorite for a small fee. 1.2140 0.03171 229 187 35 7
3163 Beats me. 1.2140 0.03290 229 189 31 9
3164 I'm sorry...did you say you have a request? 1.2140 0.03302 215 176 32 7
3165 Next, a punchy little tune that will ring your bell. 1.2140 0.03235 215 175 34 6
3166 For my next composition, "The ill-tempered clavicle" 1.2139 0.03520 201 166 27 8
3167 Next up: Mozart and Salieri's piano concerto collaboration 1.2139 0.03520 201 166 27 8
3168 Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven. 1.2139 0.03301 201 163 33 5
3169 You Beat Me to the Punch by The Temptations in C major seventh. 1.2139 0.03375 201 164 31 6
3170 And now, Michael Tyson's piano concerto number one in D minor... 1.2139 0.03375 201 164 31 6
3171 This is how I played Rachmaninov's 2nd when I fooled Penn and Teller. 1.2137 0.03185 234 192 34 8
3172 And now a piece by TKOkovsky 1.2136 0.03188 220 179 35 6
3173 Oh, the other Rachy? 1.2136 0.03188 220 179 35 6
3174 Let me punch out a few bars for you. 1.2136 0.03315 220 181 31 8
3175 I will now play the famous tune called Drumsticks. 1.2136 0.03462 206 170 28 8
3176 This number I call “Sting like a bee.” 1.2136 0.03322 206 168 32 6
3177 Ladies and gentlemen, a punchy little melody... 1.2136 0.03250 206 167 34 5
3178 This Baby has been fighting me ever since I was five years old. 1.2136 0.03392 206 169 30 7
3179 While I'm confident this will relieve some of the violence of the Rachmaninoff, I fear something essential may be lost. 1.2135 0.03394 192 156 31 5
3180 For my finale I will play a new composition titled "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." 1.2135 0.03558 178 145 28 5
3181 Play it again, but this time make it punchier! 1.2134 0.02923 253 205 42 6
3182 And now, the impossible: Chopstix! 1.2134 0.03305 239 199 29 11
3183 What do you mean, "tickle the ivories?" 1.2133 0.03078 225 182 38 5
3184 I'm still fighting my fear of learning to play the piano 1.2133 0.03266 225 185 32 8
3185 How about “Flight of the Elephant”? 1.2133 0.03385 225 187 28 10
3186 And in the red corner, weighing in at 165 pounds, hailing from St Petersburg, Russia... Dmitri Shostakovich!" 1.2133 0.03385 225 187 28 10
3187 And now for my rendition of Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2133 0.03599 211 177 23 11
3188 Fortissimo? Fortissimo is for lightweights! 1.2133 0.03339 211 173 31 7
3189 Mom, I'm having that bad dream again where they announce I'll be playing, 'Fight Of The Bumblebee.' 1.2133 0.03201 211 171 35 5
3190 Bare-knuckle piano playing is for savages. 1.2133 0.03406 211 174 29 8
3191 As my first selection, I now give you "Chopsticks." 1.2133 0.03271 211 172 33 6
3192 You should see the other guy! 1.2132 0.03416 197 161 30 6
3193 My next piece is Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2132 0.03564 197 163 26 8
3194 For those of you who doubt that the original name of this instrument was the pianoforte... 1.2132 0.03416 197 161 30 6
3195 Tonight, on America's Got Talent, Thumbs Noodleman will punch out some Beethoven. 1.2132 0.03416 197 161 30 6
3196 Isn't this a dueling piano bar? 1.2132 0.03491 197 162 28 7
3197 His playing was a bit Rocky... 1.2132 0.03491 197 162 28 7
3198 And now I'd like to play for you Paul Simon's "The Boxer". 1.2131 0.03319 183 147 33 3
3199 Leeeeet's get ready to rhuuuuuumba! 1.2130 0.03159 230 188 35 7
3200 Next is my original composition, Rocky Balboa Suite. 1.2130 0.03159 230 188 35 7
3201 Not without the secret fingerholes, I can't! 1.2130 0.03501 230 194 23 13
3202 Let's get ready to r-u-u-u-u-u-mba! 1.2130 0.03085 216 174 38 4
3203 And now, Johanna Sebastian Box’s One and Only Sonata in B-flat 1.2130 0.03353 216 178 30 8
3204 Piano? Why, no, I'd never lay a glove on it. 1.2129 0.03286 202 164 33 5
3205 The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. 1.2129 0.03642 202 169 23 10
3206 You should see him play the flute, amazing 1.2129 0.03573 202 168 25 9
3207 This next one's got a hook that'll knock you out. 1.2128 0.03115 235 192 36 7
3208 My next piece is the theme from the 'Rocky' movies. 1.2128 0.03597 188 155 26 7
3209 And now, Box Prelude in F. 1.2128 0.03675 188 156 24 8
3210 In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade...li la li 1.2127 0.03042 221 178 39 4
3211 My next number, is the lost classic "Gorilla on the Keys'. 1.2127 0.03239 221 181 33 7
3212 I swear coach told me this was the right Gymnopédie! 1.2127 0.03364 221 183 29 9
3213 This piece is known for its uppercutsio. 1.2127 0.03364 221 183 29 9
3214 Believe me, this is for your own good. 1.2127 0.03239 221 181 33 7
3215 I’m classically trained, but learning jazz. 1.2127 0.03302 221 182 31 8
3216 Bring up your instruments, I’ll take them all on 1.2127 0.03302 221 182 31 8
3217 This next song is a real knockout. 1.2126 0.03697 174 143 25 6
3218 This is going to take your breath away! 1.2126 0.03236 207 168 34 5
3219 The New Yorkers calls me a heavyweight 1.2126 0.03446 207 171 28 8
3220 This next piece is from the opera 'Bin Nacht aut'. 1.2126 0.03307 207 169 32 6
3221 ...and in this corner, we have C#. 1.2126 0.03645 207 174 22 11
3222 This next piece is something I like to call "Dueling Piano." 1.2125 0.03073 240 196 37 7
3223 Anyone else object to "Surrey with the Fringe on Top" 1.2125 0.03239 240 199 31 10
3224 Sure I take requests - as long as its 'Chopsticks' 1.2124 0.03297 193 156 33 4
3225 It’s light on notes. 1.2124 0.03130 226 184 36 6
3226 This next piece is in two-fists time. 1.2124 0.03130 226 184 36 6
3227 For tonight's main event, I will perform for you 'Chopsticks'" 1.2123 0.03521 212 177 25 10
3228 ...and now a selection from my new boxed set of CDs 1.2123 0.03187 212 172 35 5
3229 Bored silly by my insane virtuosity, I’ve taken up concert pugilism. 1.2123 0.03391 212 175 29 8
3230 Next is a selection from the Ring Cycle, sung as a round. 1.2123 0.03257 212 173 33 6
3231 I've always considered Schubert a challenge. 1.2123 0.03257 212 173 33 6
3232 And now, Bach's Concerto in C # or B ♭. 1.2123 0.03257 212 173 33 6
3233 Oh excuse me! These are real ivory, and you paid a $3 cover. 1.2123 0.03457 212 176 27 9
3234 Geoffrey could think of only one way to honor Ali. 1.2123 0.03257 212 173 33 6
3235 Somewhat shatters the illusion, don't you think? 1.2121 0.03619 198 165 24 9
3236 Now, Beethoven's Fifth in the 3rd. 1.2121 0.03324 198 161 32 5
3237 Oh, you wanted something by the Bachs? 1.2120 0.03208 217 177 34 6
3238 Pound for pound, the number one pianist in the world. 1.2120 0.03402 217 180 28 9
3239 Next I'll be performing Dance Like a Butterfly, Sting Like the Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2120 0.03585 217 183 22 12
3240 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Next, in our tribute to Hollywood, I'm going to knock out 'Gonna Fly Now', the rousing theme song of the 'Rocky' movies. 1.2120 0.03562 184 151 27 6
3241 This piece is dedicated to Muhammad Ali. 1.2119 0.03217 236 195 32 9
3242 This is my only way to knock out fifty songs a night. 1.2119 0.03217 236 195 32 9
3243 You did say that you would box my recordings for Christmas! 1.2118 0.03272 203 165 33 5
3244 This song goes out to my father. 1.2118 0.03488 203 168 27 8
3245 I am just a poor boy Though my story's seldom told ..." 1.2118 0.03488 203 168 27 8
3246 It's the Punch and Judy show......But Judy didn't show..... 1.2118 0.03417 203 167 29 7
3247 Ten rounds with Mike Tyson in D flat 1.2118 0.03345 203 166 31 6
3248 When you apply for the wrong job and still get 1.2118 0.03488 203 168 27 8
3249 I thought this was a dueling pianos bar. 1.2117 0.03226 222 182 33 7
3250 Ladies and gentleman, my psychiatrist says I have to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2117 0.03097 222 180 37 5
3251 This piece will be played in fortissimo. 1.2116 0.03250 189 152 34 3
3252 The next tune is a round. 1.2116 0.03336 189 153 32 4
3253 And now, 'Coup de Lune' by Cassius Claude Debussy. 1.2115 0.03692 208 176 20 12
3254 And now, before I take off my gloves, let me show you my Rachmaninoff. 1.2115 0.03222 208 169 34 5
3255 They said my Beethoven last night was everything but passionate. 1.2115 0.03293 208 170 32 6
3256 And now, 'Mars the Bringer of War' by Gustav Holst. 1.2115 0.03179 227 186 34 7
3257 I punched up the composition a little. 1.2113 0.03282 194 157 33 4
3258 Ladies & Gents, pardon my candor, but whoever leaves their cell phone on is gonna get slugged. 1.2113 0.03200 194 156 35 3
3259 I’m sorry; all I can play is Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Bóxer. 1.2113 0.03441 194 159 29 6
3260 Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not going to tickle the ivories; I am going to clobber the Bosendorfer." This is Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" without the moonlight 1.2113 0.03282 194 157 33 4
3261 Huh, she was right. These gloves don’t go well with the suit after all. 1.2113 0.03377 213 176 29 8
3262 The day after Christmas, Harold was obviously confused. 1.2111 0.03459 199 164 28 7
3263 Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. California can hear my fortissimo from Carnegie. 1.2111 0.03309 199 162 32 5
3264 Was that Box or Bach ? 1.2111 0.03531 199 165 26 8
3265 I had some minor injuries, but now I'm Bach and better than ever 1.2111 0.03741 199 168 20 11
3266 You will hear a combination of the 1812 Overture, and the Nutcracker Suite........ 1.2108 0.03545 185 152 27 6
3267 I shall now attempt to play Box Prelude in C Major" 1.2108 0.03545 185 152 27 6
3268 These are perfect for BACHsing! 1.2108 0.03461 185 151 29 5
3269 The tuner..., where is the tuner? This piano needs to be tuned, right away 1.2108 0.03331 204 167 31 6
3270 Who requested Wagner’s Ring Cycle? 1.2108 0.03402 204 168 29 7
3271 To prove that I hold no grudges, the next complicated piece is in honor of the critic who recently wrote about me that, ‘He plays the piano with fingers permanently wrapped in bandages ensconced in boxing gloves.’’’ 1.2108 0.03331 204 167 31 6
3272 I didn't want to be handled with kid-gloves,but, this is ludicrous. 1.2108 0.03149 223 182 35 6
3273 And next, I'll play cxlaeirr dfee lyunme. 1.2105 0.03416 209 173 28 8
3274 And now I shall play the Flyweight of the Bumblebee. 1.2105 0.03345 228 190 28 10
3275 Dun Dun Dun Dun! 1.2105 0.03135 209 169 36 4
3276 And now my Rocky overture 1.2105 0.03416 209 173 28 8
3277 Preparing to play "The Boxer" 1.2105 0.03105 228 186 36 6
3278 This next piece will knock your socks off. 1.2105 0.03403 190 155 30 5
3279 Let's see you demand 'Free Bird' now. 1.2105 0.03135 209 169 36 4
3280 He's pretty good, but he always goes down during the Fifth." 1.2103 0.03062 233 190 37 6
3281 which one of my arts have you come to see? 1.2103 0.03427 214 178 27 9
3282 Sorry, I can't perform tonight, this piano is out of tune. 1.2103 0.03161 214 174 35 5
3283 ...and now,the Rocky Sonata 1.2103 0.03229 214 175 33 6
3284 Could I get my cut man up here for this next piece? 1.2103 0.03491 214 179 25 10
3285 Final Fight Scene from Rocky III, in B Flat" 1.2103 0.03721 195 164 21 10
3286 Next, "Fright of the Bumblebee". 1.2103 0.03576 195 162 25 8
3287 And now for my next number, the Tyson Concerto in A Minor 1.2103 0.03425 195 160 29 6
3288 This next number is a heavyweight with an uppercut in D minor Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.2101 0.03193 238 197 32 9
3289 And now to play the same song softly. 1.2100 0.03182 219 179 34 6
3290 I am just a poor boy Though my story's seldom told I have squandered my resistance For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises All lies and jests Still a man hears what he wants to hear And disregards the rest... 1.2100 0.03247 219 180 32 7
3291 I'll knock out the other finalists ! 1.2100 0.03311 219 181 30 8
3292 I'm terrible with chopsticks. 1.2100 0.03294 200 163 32 5
3293 I told the Times critic I would knock the hell out of that Rachmaninoff concerto! 1.2100 0.03369 200 164 30 6
3294 It's time to get in the ring...cycle. 1.2100 0.03443 200 165 28 7
3295 Who said I'm all thumbs? 1.2100 0.03443 200 165 28 7
3296 I doubt that my challenger, Mr. Cage, could last four minutes and thirty-two seconds, let alone thirty-three... 1.2098 0.03200 224 184 33 7
3297 It’s the theme from “Rocky.” 1.2098 0.03136 224 183 35 6
3298 And now, Prokofiev's piano concerto no. 5, written in one-two, one-two. 1.2098 0.03316 205 168 31 6
3299 And so to start of my Boxing Day concert... 1.2098 0.03457 205 170 27 8
3300 I'd like to dedicate this next song to Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2098 0.03316 205 168 31 6
3301 And now, my latest composition, 'Glissando Waltz'. 1.2098 0.03168 205 166 35 4
3302 Helps keep the beat. 1.2097 0.03528 186 153 27 6
3303 Another round? Harmony or counterpoint? 1.2097 0.03609 186 154 25 7
3304 We're trying for a new demographic 1.2097 0.03359 186 151 31 4
3305 And now, something guaranteed to make you let down your guard. 1.2096 0.02966 229 185 40 4
3306 Next, I shall play a new edition of John Cage's 4'33".... 1.2096 0.03388 229 192 26 11
3307 Now for the Flight of the Bumblebees in Colony Collapse. 1.2095 0.03401 210 174 28 8
3308 And now, Boxer Concerto No. IV, in G minor. 1.2095 0.03265 210 172 32 6
3309 Then your four-year-old must be a musical prodigy. 1.2094 0.03772 191 161 20 10
3310 The odds are 50 to one that I can't knock this baby out. 1.2094 0.03304 191 155 32 4
3311 Well, you said to punch it up a bit." 1.2094 0.03220 191 154 34 3
3312 And now for some Rachmaninov. 1.2094 0.03392 234 197 25 12
3313 And now I will bang out my number, 'Love is a battlefield.' 1.2093 0.03348 215 178 29 8
3314 This is not, what I had in mind for dueling pianos ! 1.2093 0.03216 215 176 33 6
3315 And next I'll be playing my interpretation of 'The Boxer'. 1.2092 0.03087 196 157 37 2
3316 And now for a little number called "Punch Drunk". 1.2092 0.03171 196 158 35 3
3317 Wouldn't want to tickle the ivories. 1.2092 0.03485 196 162 27 7
3318 This next piece is originally by Tyson. 1.2091 0.03297 220 182 30 8
3319 Now, from the original score, ‘The Boxer’. 1.2090 0.03279 201 164 32 5
3320 Would someone in the audience lend me a hand or two? 1.2090 0.02960 201 160 40 1
3321 Now we present...Punch de Rhythm in C Minor 1.2090 0.03279 201 164 32 5
3322 I just can't fight this feeling anymore. 1.2090 0.03354 201 165 30 6
3323 I'll just be pounding out a few jabs for you, until the main event tonight. 1.2090 0.03202 201 163 34 4
3324 What I said was "with one hand tied behind my back"! 1.2090 0.03202 201 163 34 4
3325 As you probably guessed, the next piece is the soundtrack from "Rocky." 1.2090 0.03499 201 167 26 8
3326 And now the mitt fit concerto world premiere 1.2089 0.03187 225 185 33 7
3327 I guarantee this next one will knock your socks off. 1.2088 0.03399 182 148 30 4
3328 I would like to welcome everyone to the Muhammad Ali Memorial Concert... 1.2087 0.03229 206 168 33 5
3329 CHOPSTICKS? THAT'S YOUR REQUEST? CHOPSTICKS! 1.2087 0.03301 206 169 31 6
3330 I bite my nails before I play and these help me to stop. 1.2087 0.03301 206 169 31 6
3331 And now, "Mitten on the Keys." 1.2087 0.03577 206 173 23 10
3332 Thank you. My next piece is "Piano as Percussion Instrument in 3 Rounds - TOPS!" 1.2087 0.03442 206 171 27 8
3333 My next tune, The Boxer. 1.2087 0.03079 206 166 37 3
3334 I'd like to thank my mom for this next song, titled "Stop Itching Your Poison Ivy." 1.2087 0.03142 230 189 34 7
3335 For the boxed set. 1.2087 0.03260 230 191 30 9
3336 Mid-career transitions are always difficult - but this one has been especially so for me. 1.2086 0.03428 187 153 29 5
3337 Life of an artist is a constant battle 1.2086 0.03256 187 151 33 3
3338 I could write something clever, but the New Yorker wouldn't get it. 1.2085 0.03581 211 178 22 11
3339 And now, the unfinished symphony! 1.2085 0.03387 211 175 28 8
3340 I've been asked to tone it down. 1.2085 0.03319 211 174 30 7
3341 They're so I don't bite my nails. 1.2085 0.03319 211 174 30 7
3342 Applaud or I'll punch you in the nose. 1.2083 0.03119 192 154 36 2
3343 I give you, the Ali Conceto. 1.2083 0.02921 216 173 41 2
3344 You said to ‘make it punchier.’ 1.2082 0.03071 245 202 35 8
3345 This next part I call the Mike Tyson finale. 1.2081 0.03090 221 180 36 5
3346 I intend to knock out this song in very short measure. 1.2081 0.03394 197 162 29 6
3347 This next selection is entitled "The Terrible Twos." 1.2080 0.03111 226 185 35 6
3348 Rachmaninov is merciless. So am I. 1.2079 0.03339 202 166 30 6
3349 Now I will perform Rocky Balboa's Ringside rhapsody in g-flat minor. 1.2077 0.03287 207 170 31 6
3350 It's safe to remove your ear plugs. 1.2077 0.03427 207 172 27 8
3351 I wish my brother Ali were here... 1.2077 0.03357 207 171 29 7
3352 I shall now play "Knockout!" by the late John Cage. 1.2077 0.03427 207 172 27 8
3353 its the beat 1.2076 0.03086 236 194 35 7
3354 This may only be a baby grand but it packs a powerful punch. 1.2075 0.03305 212 175 30 7
3355 I'm more of a "tackle the ivories" kind of guy 1.2075 0.03237 212 174 32 6
3356 If you will,a Rachmaninoff/Ali variation: Float like a butterfly,sting like a bumblebee. 1.2075 0.03237 212 174 32 6
3357 ...and now I'd like to play a selection from the concerto for piano and boxing gloves in the key of whatever. 1.2075 0.03237 212 174 32 6
3358 And now: Box Fugue in D Major. 1.2075 0.03305 212 175 30 7
3359 What? I'm just preparing for the end of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture. 1.2075 0.03237 212 174 32 6
3360 Hit it, Maestro! I’m ready to pound those keys! 1.2075 0.03023 212 171 38 3
3361 Sorry, was I a little flat? 1.2074 0.03327 188 153 31 4
3362 And now a song from the movie, Raging Bull . 1.2074 0.03240 188 152 33 3
3363 At this point in the program I get quite punchy. 1.2074 0.03320 217 180 29 8
3364 When was this piano tuned? 1.2074 0.03384 217 181 27 9
3365 My next number will be a Palooka composition. 1.2073 0.03104 193 155 36 2
3366 This piano murdered my father. 1.2073 0.03512 193 160 26 7
3367 And now, another of Box cantatas... 1.2073 0.03663 193 162 22 9
3368 I am really going to knock this one out! 1.2073 0.03190 193 156 34 3
3369 l"My piano style is to float like a butterfly and sting like Ali." 1.2072 0.03143 222 182 34 6
3370 And now for the staccato portion... 1.2072 0.03143 222 182 34 6
3371 It's cutting edge in Post-Modern music. 1.2072 0.03393 222 186 26 10
3372 ‘I used to be a contenda’ 1.2071 0.03301 198 162 31 5
3373 And now, the grand finale: Chopsticks. 1.2071 0.03453 198 164 27 7
3374 I will just punch out a few tunes for you 1.2071 0.03223 198 161 33 4
3375 For my next tune, similar to the first, a bunch of noise produced from banging on the keys. 1.2071 0.03378 198 163 29 6
3376 If you don’t like how I’m playing, come up here so we can discuss it! 1.2071 0.03378 198 163 29 6
3377 ...and in..3..2..1! 1.2071 0.03378 198 163 29 6
3378 Tonight I will be performing "Eye of the Tiger" in D# Major 1.2070 0.03035 227 185 37 5
3379 You bet I know the ‘Notre Dame Fight Song’! 1.2069 0.03250 203 166 32 5
3380 For my next piece, "Rocky" in D minor. 1.2069 0.03250 203 166 32 5
3381 My opponent has been talking trash about my glissandos, but his crescendos are pathetic. 1.2069 0.03324 203 167 30 6
3382 They give my pianissimos a pugilistic touch. 1.2068 0.03299 237 199 27 11
3383 And now I give you “Für Alise,” by Stings-Like-A-Beethoven. 1.2068 0.03016 237 194 37 6
3384 And now I will play something soft yet powerful. 1.2067 0.03273 208 171 31 6
3385 And this next song is really a knockout.... 1.2067 0.03343 208 172 29 7
3386 Symphony in flat accidentals! 1.2067 0.03273 208 171 31 6
3387 Is it cold in here, or is it just me? 1.2067 0.03127 208 169 35 4
3388 Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, I'm just the undercard. 1.2067 0.03343 208 172 29 7
3389 And now my interpretation of baby Mozart. 1.2067 0.03273 208 171 31 6
3390 And in this corner, The Challenger, Rachmaninoff Concerto No. 3--AREYOU READYTORUMBOOOOOOOOOOOL? 1.2067 0.03343 208 172 29 7
3391 Adrian, my music. 1.2067 0.03412 208 173 27 8
3392 ...but he said, dualing pianos?! 1.2066 0.03550 213 180 22 11
3393 I am also a great lover. 1.2066 0.03223 213 175 32 6
3394 This way, I can play more notes at once. 1.2066 0.03223 213 175 32 6
3395 At measure 40 it's a real knockout. 1.2064 0.03176 218 179 33 6
3396 And now I'd like to play you a punchy little tune. 1.2063 0.03477 189 156 27 6
3397 And now, the Rocky theme song. 1.2063 0.03379 223 187 26 10
3398 I will now play the Overture to "The Boxer's Tale." 1.2062 0.03645 194 163 22 9
3399 I thought the point was to create as much dissonance as possible? 1.2062 0.03339 194 159 30 5
3400 Theme song from "Rocky"? Sorry, I don't know that one. Any other requests? 1.2062 0.03258 194 158 32 4
3401 Now for a rendition of that Simon and Garfunkle classic 'The Boxer' 1.2062 0.03418 194 160 28 6
3402 Let’s get ready to rrrumble! 1.2061 0.03209 228 189 31 8
3403 Pugilist or Pianist? You decide. 1.2061 0.03149 228 188 33 7
3404 I can still do "Chop Sticks" 1.2060 0.03510 199 166 25 8
3405 I will now play Box Toccata and Fugue 1.2060 0.03363 199 164 29 6
3406 But I don't know 'Rhapsody in Black and Blue!' 1.2060 0.03128 199 161 35 3
3407 You think it's easy to play this way ? 1.2060 0.03363 199 164 29 6
3408 This next piece should be a knockout in the 7th. 1.2060 0.03105 233 192 34 7
3409 Music Therapy "Bring to mind the image of your music teacher and proceed to pound." 1.2060 0.03335 233 196 26 11
3410 And now I'd like to play a little number called, "Punching the Ivories." 1.2059 0.03521 204 171 24 9
3411 Ladies and Gentlemen, for my encore I will play a real smash hit! 1.2059 0.03382 204 169 28 7
3412 Next piece is for the Poughkeepsie “his Beethoven lacked punch” Times-Herald. 1.2059 0.03382 204 169 28 7
3413 Next I will preform a piece composed by Rocky Balboa. 1.2059 0.03627 170 140 25 5
3414 "Yes, I can play the theme for Rocky." 1.2057 0.03464 209 175 25 9
3415 It's called 'No place to Haydn'. 1.2057 0.03258 209 172 31 6
3416 This next piece is "Etude in B-flat" by Joe Lewis. 1.2056 0.03408 214 179 26 9
3417 It's ok, I'm the undercard. 1.2056 0.03209 214 176 32 6
3418 L-l-l-l-l-let's get ready to Rachmaninof-f-f-f-f!!! 1.2056 0.03343 214 178 28 8
3419 This piece will knock your socks off. 1.2056 0.03140 214 175 34 5
3420 The forte begins when the gloves come off! 1.2056 0.03209 214 176 32 6
3421 Why is my first request song always: 'Tenderly' ? 1.2056 0.03835 180 152 19 9
3422 political correctness my ass. This piece can’t be handled with kid’s gloves 1.2055 0.03228 219 181 31 7
3423 And for my next number, the theme from "Raging Bull. 1.2055 0.03163 219 180 33 6
3424 These ivories seem to be extra ticklish! 1.2055 0.03163 219 180 33 6
3425 Next, my version of Nancy Pelosi's budget blues. 1.2055 0.03096 219 179 35 5
3426 And now my latest composition, which I call ‘Ten Rounds of Agony.’ 1.2054 0.03350 185 151 30 4
3427 Nobody would ask Bobby Short to do this. 1.2054 0.03684 185 155 22 8
3428 I have a request from Agnes for a punchy tune 1.2054 0.03053 224 183 36 5
3429 I hope you like Bach's music. 1.2054 0.03181 224 185 32 7
3430 I’ve been known to bang out those oldies but goodies! 1.2053 0.03122 190 153 35 2
3431 Sorry, doctor's orders to stop biting my nails." 1.2053 0.03295 190 155 31 4
3432 To consider this next song to be my biggest hit is a bit of an understatement.” 1.2053 0.03379 190 156 29 5
3433 Anybody else want to throw out a request? 1.2053 0.03379 190 156 29 5
3434 The concert was a knockout 1.2053 0.03379 190 156 29 5
3435 My final encore: our college fight song 1.2053 0.03295 190 155 31 4
3436 I'm going to play Mozart's all thumbs sonata in E major. 1.2053 0.03460 190 157 27 6
3437 I think I came to the wrong auditorium. 1.2051 0.03243 195 159 32 4
3438 Any other beatboxers in the audience, tonight? 1.2051 0.03402 195 161 28 6
3439 I'm taking an eight count. 1.2050 0.03347 200 165 29 6
3440 I call this one "Back Home in Palookaville" 1.2050 0.03347 200 165 29 6
3441 I will now play a Branding Burger by Bach-Sing-Gloves 1.2050 0.03494 200 167 25 8
3442 And now, my very own, Raging Bull Concerto in B-flat major. 1.2049 0.03295 205 169 30 6
3443 Now I shall play “Float Like A Butterfly and Flight of the Bumblebee”. 1.2049 0.03437 205 171 26 8
3444 I’m actually a featherweight according to this scale. 1.2049 0.03295 205 169 30 6
3445 No worries...there only two keys 1.2049 0.03295 205 169 30 6
3446 I get punchy before a performance. 1.2048 0.03314 210 174 29 7
3447 And now I'll go a few rounds with "Chopsticks." 1.2048 0.03101 210 171 35 4
3448 I can knockout this Steinway in three notes.... 1.2047 0.03394 215 180 26 9
3449 This is a little something George Forman wrote when he was a bit woozy after a bout. 1.2047 0.03329 215 179 28 8
3450 I,ll knock one out to you 1.2047 0.03394 215 180 26 9
3451 Next up is Rachmaninoff’s little known submission for the "Theme from Rocky" 1.2045 0.03279 220 183 29 8
3452 I thought it should sound more bombastic. 1.2045 0.03215 220 182 31 7
3453 This is gonna get nuts real fast. 1.2044 0.03230 225 187 30 8
3454 Despite claims that I'm punching above my weight,I will now attempt to knock out some Chopin. 1.2044 0.03105 225 185 34 6
3455 It’s last call and I got a request for Nickelback. You kinda just have to roll with the punches. 1.2044 0.03479 181 149 27 5
3456 It's not time to take the gloves off. 1.2043 0.03062 230 189 35 6
3457 ARE...YOU...READY...TO...RRRUMBLE?!? 1.2043 0.03245 186 151 32 3
3458 It's my new brand. The critics say I play like I'm wearing boxing gloves. 1.2043 0.03081 235 194 34 7
3459 Here’s my rendition of “Heart and Soul.” 1.2042 0.03444 191 158 27 6
3460 And now I'd like to play the theme from"Rocky " 1.2042 0.03444 191 158 27 6
3461 When I told you to order any gloves with Prime shipping, I did not mean ANY gloves. 1.2042 0.03523 191 159 25 7
3462 My next piece is “Punchinello” in B flat. 1.2042 0.03444 191 158 27 6
3463 Please Ma. I'll never play with myself again. 1.2041 0.03309 196 161 30 5
3464 Oh! Not the fight of the bumblebee? 1.2041 0.03538 196 164 24 8
3465 This next event will consist of ten three-minute rounds. 1.2041 0.03309 196 161 30 5
3466 I’m a Bachser by trade. 1.2041 0.03000 245 202 36 7
3467 I will now play the theme song and other songs from 'Rocky'" 1.2041 0.03309 196 161 30 5
3468 What? A TKO? But we're only in the first rondo! 1.2041 0.03463 196 163 26 7
3469 My next piece is Opus No. 19. by Mayweather. 1.2040 0.03332 201 166 29 6
3470 And now my ode to Rocky… mononinoff. 1.2040 0.03478 201 168 25 8
3471 And now, the Maxie Rosenbloom Variations! 1.2039 0.03280 206 170 30 6
3472 My dad wanted me to be a boxer and my mom wanted me to be a pianist. Please enjoy this next song, 'Gonna Fly Now'. 1.2039 0.03207 206 169 32 5
3473 And now, the 1812 Overture.... 1.2039 0.03280 206 170 30 6
3474 And now, "The Well-Tempered Clavier," by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2039 0.03557 206 174 22 10
3475 The secret is "mind over matter". 1.2039 0.03207 206 169 32 5
3476 The pugilist in me will now pound out a familiar martial score. 1.2039 0.03207 206 169 32 5
3477 It's called 'The Sting of the Bumble Bee.' 1.2039 0.03352 206 171 28 7
3478 This rendition calls for a soft touch. 1.2038 0.03013 211 171 37 3
3479 He’ll be out by the 10th bar. 1.2038 0.03160 211 173 33 5
3480 This may look a bit bizarre ladies and gentlemen, but somehow I have misplaced my hockey stick. 1.2038 0.03367 211 176 27 8
3481 The Third Contender Sonata by R. Balboa 1.2037 0.03183 216 178 32 6
3482 Now let's hear you say my music has no beat 1.2037 0.02973 216 175 38 3
3483 And we'll conclude the evening with a knock out medley from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. 1.2037 0.03379 216 181 26 9
3484 This next piece is in key KO sharp 1.2037 0.03183 216 178 32 6
3485 This is a new piece I call pianissimo 1.2035 0.03217 226 188 30 8
3486 Lay em out again Sam. 1.2033 0.03716 182 153 21 8
3487 The composer was also briefly the bantamweight champion of the world, 1936. 1.2033 0.03796 182 154 19 9
3488 Must be how Trump attempts to play pianissimo 1.2033 0.03796 182 154 19 9
3489 Can I start again? 1.2033 0.03373 182 149 29 4
3490 And now, Rocky's Fifth Symphony in Creed major." 1.2032 0.03486 187 155 26 6
3491 I will now preform Sting of the Bumblebee 1.2031 0.03506 192 160 25 7
3492 And now, the Marquess of Queensbury Symphony. 1.2031 0.03347 192 158 29 5
3493 Are you sure Billy Joel started this way? 1.2031 0.03506 192 160 25 7
3494 The Copacabana presents, “An Evening with Mike Tyson” 1.2031 0.03658 192 162 21 9
3495 We start on the downbeat after a standing 8 count. 1.2030 0.03371 197 163 28 6
3496 In the lobby after the show, I'll be selling my box set. 1.2030 0.03447 197 164 26 7
3497 Improvisation is the key. 1.2030 0.03165 202 165 33 4
3498 So, we will now perform THE PASTORAL SYMPHONY by Beethoven I am debuting a new interpretation of the storm. 1.2030 0.03391 202 168 27 7
3499 I know, I know it's disappointing. Yet here in this golden Trump Hotel DC I feel strangely moved to present my own version of A Boxer's Rebellion. 1.2030 0.03165 202 165 33 4
3500 Our first piece tonight is "Vivaldi's K.O. in the First Round." 1.2029 0.03193 207 170 32 5
3501 This next piece was written and recorded by Muhammad Ali 1.2029 0.03193 207 170 32 5
3502 Now a surprise treat -- a little composition I wrote as a ham-fisted beginner. 1.2029 0.03119 207 169 34 4
3503 Did I win? 1.2028 0.03146 212 174 33 5
3504 It took me a while to get the right hook. 1.2028 0.03001 212 172 37 3
3505 Now my own original piece, 'Bach's Gloves' 1.2028 0.03353 212 177 27 8
3506 My next selection is ‘Slopsticks.’ 1.2028 0.03483 212 179 23 10
3507 Next is 'Ode to Mohammed Ali, Opus 1' 1.2028 0.03216 212 175 31 6
3508 This is what happens when you tickle the wrong ivories. 1.2028 0.03101 217 178 34 5
3509 Our next number will be a three minute score titled - Pound of flesh. 1.2028 0.03101 217 178 34 5
3510 What key is this in? 1.2028 0.03169 217 179 32 6
3511 I'm now going to play Beethoven's Fist Symphony followed by a Bop cantata. 1.2028 0.03236 217 180 30 7
3512 And now i will perform, the one note samba 1.2028 0.03101 217 178 34 5
3513 'Toccata and fugue in g minor' by J.S. Box. 1.2027 0.03124 222 183 33 6
3514 And now Ladies and Gentlemen Beethoven's two fisted symphony in a left and a right and a... 1.2027 0.03188 222 184 31 7
3515 This is the best way to play "Louie, Louie". 1.2027 0.03188 222 184 31 7
3516 I wrote it in the Boxa Nova genre 1.2027 0.03252 222 185 29 8
3517 It's just a forte when I play 1.2026 0.03143 227 188 32 7
3518 This next one goes out to my good friend, 'Sly" Stallone! 1.2025 0.02998 237 195 36 6
3519 For my encore I will now play “Left hook in G-minor.” 1.2025 0.02901 242 198 39 5
3520 And now ladies and gentlemen - Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!! 1.2022 0.03531 183 152 25 6
3521 My manager thinks I need something to fall back on. 1.2022 0.03266 183 149 31 3
3522 Heckle me one more time and I swear you're going to be the one "off key". 1.2021 0.03641 193 163 21 9
3523 Here's my fortissimo crescendo without breaking a mano. 1.2021 0.03249 193 158 31 4
3524 first few notes of beethoven’s fifth is my favorite. 1.2021 0.03411 193 160 27 6
3525 This is how I warm up. 1.2021 0.03079 193 156 35 2
3526 And now, the theme from "Jaws". 1.2020 0.03278 198 163 30 5
3527 And now Rocky Maninoff’s Suite in 12 Rounds 1.2020 0.03505 198 166 24 8
3528 I will now play some of Beethoven's VERY early works. 1.2020 0.03431 198 165 26 7
3529 And now, I'll play a selection of Muhammad Ali's hits. 1.2020 0.03517 203 171 23 9
3530 I will now perform Trump's Minuet in F flat minor. 1.2020 0.03517 203 171 23 9
3531 Okay,so I lost the bet. But,for God's sake,I'm a piano player! 1.2020 0.03447 203 170 25 8
3532 And now I shall perform Etude to Discovering the Piano by a Three-Year-Old. 1.2020 0.03302 203 168 29 6
3533 I, too, don't understand this gig. 1.2019 0.03391 208 174 26 8
3534 This sonata is all about nimble finger work, and a good left hook. 1.2019 0.03322 208 173 28 7
3535 Next, I'll be playing "Great Balls of Fire " 1.2019 0.03179 208 171 32 5
3536 Up next: Box Concerto in D Minor. 1.2019 0.03133 213 175 33 5
3537 Did I hear a request for “Chopsticks”? 1.2019 0.03203 213 176 31 6
3538 Are you ready to rumba? 1.2019 0.03271 213 177 29 7
3539 The owners of this establishment have asked me to wear these during "Candle in the Wind" because I can't help touching myself. 1.2019 0.03404 213 179 25 9
3540 Next I will perform for you one of the lesser known piano compositions by the legendary John Cage. 1.2019 0.03338 213 178 27 8
3541 I will now play 'Braggadocio,' an etude of my own composition.' 1.2019 0.03133 213 175 33 5
3542 And now for my next number, “Can’t Fight This Feeling.” 1.2018 0.03019 218 178 36 4
3543 This piece is to be played "buone percosse", which means "with a good beating". 1.2018 0.03156 218 180 32 6
3544 I call this 'Chopsticks'. 1.2018 0.03475 218 185 22 11
3545 I'm going to pound out my next selection. 1.2018 0.03019 218 178 36 4
3546 And now I will play some chin music for you. 1.2018 0.03222 218 181 30 7
3547 On second thought, my next piece is much better suited for a cappella. 1.2018 0.03222 218 181 30 7
3548 Let's get ready to rumbaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 1.2018 0.03046 223 183 35 5
3549 And now, a Box Sonata 1.2018 0.03175 223 185 31 7
3550 and now a number from my boxed collection" 1.2018 0.03130 228 189 32 7
3551 This piece is called the "Boxer Rebellion" 1.2018 0.03068 228 188 34 6
3552 And now from Simon & Garfunkel 1.2011 0.03734 174 146 21 7
3553 88 Keys to Anger Management : “#1: instead of tickling the ivories beat them to a pulp”. 1.2011 0.03678 184 155 21 8
3554 Float like a butterfly, sting on the keys. 1.2011 0.03428 184 152 27 5
3555 This is the only way to make “Chopsticks” impressive. 1.2011 0.03678 184 155 21 8
3556 Original "Chops" 1.2011 0.03250 184 150 31 3
3557 It bit me during rehearsal... 1.2011 0.03453 189 157 26 6
3558 My uncle went to Julliard,so I'm pretty sure I know how to hit the notes. 1.2010 0.03395 194 161 27 6
3559 And now for a completely new attack on the Rachmaninov No. 2! 1.2010 0.03395 194 161 27 6
3560 Now for my feisty version of Brahms's 'Lullaby. 1.2010 0.03623 194 164 21 9
3561 For my next selection, I'm going to attempt a very difficult composition that I've been fighting to learn. It requires dexterity and expert fingering. 1.2010 0.03316 194 160 29 5
3562 Hey Shostakovitch, I know they don't want me to win, but... seriously? 1.2010 0.03623 194 164 21 9
3563 And now, the overture to one of my favorite contemporary operas, The Raging Bull. 1.2010 0.03263 199 164 30 5
3564 Let's see you try to 'beat it eight to the bar' with these damn things. 1.2010 0.03340 199 165 28 6
3565 And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is our last contestant battling it out for most original song . 1.2010 0.03340 199 165 28 6
3566 I like to lace up for Der Ring. 1.2010 0.03104 199 162 34 3
3567 His symphonies really pack a punch. 1.2010 0.03104 199 162 34 3
3568 And now, without further ado, let us bid a final farewell to the jerk first violinist. 1.2010 0.03631 199 169 20 10
3569 For my next selection, I present an avant-garde version of Chopsticks. 1.2010 0.03213 204 168 31 5
3570 Well, this explains the tux. 1.2010 0.03308 209 174 28 7
3571 All I can play is 'The Rocky Theme' or 'A Piano Being Beaten to Death (in C minor)'. 1.2009 0.03189 214 177 31 6
3572 Ok, you can play until you see the towel thrown on stage. 1.2009 0.03337 219 184 26 9
3573 This next number is from my box set. 1.2009 0.03287 224 188 27 9
3574 Any requests or should I just F you up? 1.2009 0.03163 224 186 31 7
3575 Glen was feeling creatively boxed in. 1.2009 0.03225 224 187 29 8
3576 Boxing Day Overtures 1.2009 0.02967 224 183 37 4
3577 And now, my rendition of 'The Boxer'---it really packs a punch! 1.2009 0.03118 229 190 32 7
3578 My therapist suggested this when i forget the notes 1.2009 0.03118 229 190 32 7
3579 This one is for all the drunks and suckers in the house. It goes one, two... 1.2009 0.02761 234 189 43 2
3580 Any fans of Bach's? 1.2008 0.02994 244 202 35 7
3581 My mother said they'd protect my fingers. 1.2000 0.03136 240 201 30 9
3582 I thought it said Concerto Fist Movement? 1.2000 0.03729 180 152 20 8
3583 The music industry is getting competitive. 1.2000 0.03036 215 176 35 4
3584 Ladies and gentlemen, Beethoven’s Last Movement. 1.2000 0.02887 225 183 39 3
3585 Finished with the sharps , you can take them off now 1.2000 0.03123 205 168 33 4
3586 My teacher said I had to fight to make it to the top! 1.2000 0.03362 210 176 26 8
3587 KILL THOSE LIGHTS - I'm hand syncing !! 1.2000 0.03615 200 170 20 10
3588 Now, by a split decision, I will play 'Mozart's Tenth Piano Concerto'." 1.2000 0.02955 225 184 37 4
3589 Mr Musicreview wrote that I needed to add more punch to my tempo. Now lets see what he has to say. 1.2000 0.03300 195 161 29 5
3590 Don’t Laugh! This will be a knockout! 1.2000 0.03496 185 154 25 6
3591 And now for some fancy footwork 1.2000 0.03293 210 175 28 7
3592 As an encore, I pound my way through some Liszt! 1.2000 0.03226 230 193 28 9
3593 Beat-often's Fifth. 1.2000 0.03243 215 179 29 7
3594 Next, the theme song from "Punch-Drunk Love" 1.2000 0.03079 210 172 34 4
3595 And for the next song from my greatest hits CD... 1.2000 0.03362 210 176 26 8
3596 You've never heard a sforzando quite like this!! 1.2000 0.03553 205 174 21 10
3597 Shall we begin, Maestro Tyson? 1.2000 0.03606 195 165 21 9
3598 Nobody could hold a candle to Ol' Sugar Ray Tchaikovsky. 1.2000 0.03270 190 156 30 4
3599 And now, The Pugilism Concerto 1.2000 0.03273 205 170 29 6
3600 And now....Anyone care to dispute my abilities in B Flat? 1.2000 0.03199 205 169 31 5
3601 For my encore, I will premier "Slam, Bam, Thank You Ma'am" by Michael Tyson in the key of "Whatever". 1.2000 0.03485 205 173 23 9
3602 Seeing that it’s almost closing, allow me to punch a quick one out for you. 1.2000 0.02981 230 189 36 5
3603 I'll show you what 'punching keys' really means! 1.2000 0.03249 200 165 30 5
3604 Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie. 1.2000 0.03219 195 160 31 4
3605 It was try this or brain surgery 1.1992 0.02805 236 192 41 3
3606 I’m ready to duke it out with The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.1991 0.03117 221 183 32 6
3607 No...I’m not a showoff! As a kid I just loved Rocky movies and Rachmaninoff. 1.1991 0.03023 216 177 35 4
3608 Note like a butterfly, sting like a B minor. 1.1991 0.03486 216 184 21 11
3609 Umm, are these things on? 1.1991 0.03162 216 179 31 6
3610 I'm taking requests. 1.1991 0.03162 216 179 31 6
3611 And for my next act... I will light a match with my toes. 1.1991 0.03066 211 173 34 4
3612 "Ali never had to play the piano." 1.1991 0.03209 211 175 30 6
3613 Tonight’s Cage Match! Thelonius versus The Grand! Let’s get ready to Rumba! 1.1991 0.03347 211 177 26 8
3614 Of course it’s Rachmaninov. 1.1991 0.03138 211 174 32 5
3615 All right, you've made your point, no need to be cruel. 1.1990 0.03330 206 172 27 7
3616 I'd rather be a boxer at a piano than have a piano in my boxers 1.1990 0.03604 206 176 19 11
3617 And now what I call "Mozart's Mohammad Ali Sonata." 1.1990 0.03259 206 171 29 6
3618 Ta rah rah BOOM de aye!! 1.1990 0.03259 206 171 29 6
3619 OK Beethoven, lets rumble 1.1990 0.03185 206 170 31 5
3620 I call this next one "Flight of the Bumble." 1.1990 0.03259 206 171 29 6
3621 Yo Adrienne! 1.1990 0.03528 201 170 22 9
3622 Beethoven's Pugilistica Sonata in B-Flat! 1.1990 0.03310 201 167 28 6
3623 Appears I'm a bit ham-fisted today.... 1.1990 0.03156 201 165 32 4
3624 Next I shall play the flight of the bumble bee 1.1990 0.03528 201 170 22 9
3625 My next number is dedicated to the Marquess of Queensbury. 1.1990 0.03285 196 162 29 5
3626 I will now play a selection of works by Hans Zimmer. 1.1990 0.03732 196 168 17 11
3627 And now my rendition of Kitty Cat Sonata 1.1990 0.03364 196 163 27 6
3628 The odds are 2 to 1 for Bach over Mozart. 1.1990 0.03285 196 162 29 5
3629 He’s the best at hitting those low notes, for his weight class. 1.1990 0.03285 196 162 29 5
3630 This is a new one: Rhapsody in Trump 1.1990 0.03285 196 162 29 5
3631 Float like a butterfly 1.1990 0.03440 196 164 25 7
3632 My piano technique? I just float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, tickling these ivories 1.1990 0.03121 196 160 33 3
3633 This next one tugs at the eardrums. 1.1990 0.03420 191 159 26 6
3634 I will performing TKO and Fugue in D Minor. 1.1990 0.03338 191 158 28 5
3635 Though best known for his boxing skills, Jack Dempsey could pound out a darn fine tune on the piano - or so claimed his beloved mother. 1.1990 0.03255 191 157 30 4
3636 I float like DeBussy and sting like Rimsky-Korsakov 1.1990 0.03338 191 158 28 5
3637 if someone boos’s one more time you’re gonna get it 1.1989 0.03394 186 154 27 5
3638 Sorry, I'm late. My last gig ran long. 1.1988 0.03579 171 142 24 5
3639 As a follow-up to my successful rendition of 'Chopsticks', I'm going all in on 'Flight of the Bumblebee'. 1.1982 0.03365 227 193 23 11
3640 You misunderstood I play Box not Bach. 1.1982 0.03104 222 184 32 6
3641 Please be sure to sing along if you recognize this tricky old tune. 1.1982 0.03169 222 185 30 7
3642 My next selection is Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1982 0.03010 217 178 35 4
3643 For my next number, Sonata a la Ali 1.1982 0.03149 217 180 31 6
3644 Everybody now! '...float like a butterfly, sting like a bee... My name is Muhammad... Muhammad Ali!!!' 1.1981 0.03399 212 179 24 9
3645 Maestro, I understand this is a Rocky-themed concert, but... 1.1981 0.03125 212 175 32 5
3646 Now for my new arrangement of John Cage's 4'33",on steroids. 1.1981 0.03333 212 178 26 8
3647 'To the tables down at Mory's'? Oh. I thought you wanted the fight song. 1.1981 0.03196 212 176 30 6
3648 Any requests for Chopsticks? 1.1981 0.03171 207 171 31 5
3649 Tough Croud 1.1981 0.03244 207 172 29 6
3650 I will now attempt the Boxer Rebellion Etude. Wish me luck. 1.1981 0.03171 207 171 31 5
3651 With the holidays coming up, I will now play, "Boxing Day Blues." 1.1981 0.03244 207 172 29 6
3652 This is the first performance of Rach 3 with gloves on. 1.1981 0.03386 207 174 25 8
3653 I usually get a standing O, but tonight I’ll take a standing 8!” 1.1981 0.03244 207 172 29 6
3654 I don't think I can box my way out of this one. 1.1981 0.03244 207 172 29 6
3655 Float like a high C, sting like a C# 1.1980 0.03295 202 168 28 6
3656 And now, friends, a little 'soft Rocky' music for your listening pleasure. 1.1980 0.03142 202 166 32 4
3657 Hold your applause until I get to the hook. 1.1980 0.03062 202 165 34 3
3658 And now a tribute piece I call “Sting of the Bumblebee.” 1.1980 0.03219 202 167 30 5
3659 I'm composing a theme song for a film called Rocky. 1.1980 0.03369 202 169 26 7
3660 If I speed thru the Rachmaninov concerto I can still make my fight 1.1980 0.03062 202 165 34 3
3661 This piano is tough to play. 1.1980 0.03219 202 167 30 5
3662 I shall now play "Mitten on the Keys." 1.1980 0.03107 197 161 33 3
3663 This evening,I'll be punching out my new hit. 1.1980 0.03189 197 162 31 4
3664 I'll be playing Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture 1.1979 0.03403 192 160 26 6
3665 So which joker requested The Minute Waltz? 1.1979 0.03322 192 159 28 5
3666 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the theme song from 'Rocky'. 1.1979 0.03322 192 159 28 5
3667 And now my version of Paul Simon’s “The Boxer.” 1.1979 0.03154 192 157 32 3
3668 Now I will play my Sonata for Boxing Day. 1.1979 0.03560 192 162 22 8
3669 Sam played only fortissimo. 1.1979 0.03462 187 156 25 6
3670 The Pugilist Pianist prefers the percussive-style keyboard approach. 1.1977 0.03587 177 148 23 6
3671 Up next, Eye of the Tiger. 1.1974 0.03069 233 194 32 7
3672 My next selection is "Eye of the Tiger" 1.1974 0.03008 233 193 34 6
3673 In the future, there will be fewer nuances. 1.1973 0.03092 223 185 32 6
3674 I call this one 'imagination'. 1.1972 0.03068 218 180 33 5
3675 It's about playing to your strengths. 1.1972 0.03136 218 181 31 6
3676 Now this won't be easy. 1.1972 0.03182 213 177 30 6
3677 They said I ought to have a knockout on the piano during the performance 1.1972 0.03251 213 178 28 7
3678 And now the entire Rocky score through Creed 2. 1.1972 0.03112 213 176 32 5
3679 So you’re not fans of avant-garde... 1.1971 0.02928 208 169 37 2
3680 I was booked for "The Battle of the Dueling Pianos" 1.1971 0.03230 208 173 29 6
3681 Well, what did you expect, madame? It was billed as a Dueling Piano show. 1.1971 0.03371 208 175 25 8
3682 Next, Iron Buttlerfly's interpretation of "Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.1971 0.03301 208 174 27 7
3683 In a clearing stands a boxer/ And a fighter by his trade... 1.1971 0.03371 208 175 25 8
3684 Float like a butterfly, sting like the Flight of the Bumblebees. 1.1970 0.03205 203 168 30 5
3685 Now I would like to play my rendition of the 'Rope-a-Dope' overture 1.1970 0.03128 203 167 32 4
3686 Sorry, I only think inside the box. 1.1970 0.03426 203 171 24 8
3687 I didn’t know a standing ovation was even possible at a music therapy recital! 1.1970 0.03049 203 166 34 3
3688 And now we move from Beethoven's works to Bach's. 1.1970 0.03633 203 174 18 11
3689 And now the Mike Tyson concerto 1.1970 0.03354 203 170 26 7
3690 I will now perform my masterwork: Piano Destruction in D 1.1969 0.03224 193 159 30 4
3691 This next number's going down by the second verse. 1.1969 0.03387 193 161 26 6
3692 I’m not wearing any pants. 1.1969 0.03543 193 163 22 8
3693 They said to play it as if I had gloves on...these were the only ones I could find. 1.1968 0.03187 188 154 31 3
3694 This next concerto is dedicated to tonight's sponsor - The School for the Deaf 1.1968 0.03684 188 160 19 9
3695 And now for that great jazz classic, “It don’t mean a thing (If it Ain’t Got That Swing”). 1.1967 0.03144 183 149 32 2
3696 I can't play with cold hands 1.1967 0.03672 183 155 20 8
3697 For my next performance, “Fight of the Bumblebees” by M Ali. 1.1967 0.03505 183 153 24 6
3698 For this next one, I shall punch up the jam. 1.1967 0.02898 239 197 37 5
3699 Sorry, I don't know anything by Paul Simon. 1.1966 0.03656 178 150 21 7
3700 Aaron Copland's 'Knockdown'. 1.1965 0.03221 229 193 27 9
3701 Tonight we're going 88 rounds! 1.1964 0.03013 224 185 34 5
3702 For my next selection, I'll pound out a selection of sentimental nonsense. 1.1963 0.03123 219 182 31 6
3703 Anyone else want voice an opinion of my interpretation of the Grieg concerto? 1.1963 0.03189 219 183 29 7
3704 This next one is experimental but it got a lot of hits online ... 1.1963 0.03055 219 181 33 5
3705 And now, 4'33". 1.1963 0.02915 219 179 37 3
3706 Alright, who took my sheet music? 1.1963 0.03237 214 179 28 7
3707 I'm training for a John Cage-fight. 1.1963 0.03434 214 182 22 10
3708 What do you mean "Outside the box"? 1.1963 0.03304 214 180 26 8
3709 I will now knockout a concerto by Boxmaninoff 1.1963 0.03168 214 178 30 6
3710 you'll never be a pianist Schumannn....try composing 1.1962 0.03069 209 172 33 4
3711 I will now play Knuckles." 1.1962 0.03287 209 175 27 7
3712 First, a little Rocky Mananoff followed by my own Bachster medley. 1.1961 0.03265 204 170 28 6
3713 This next piece is more avant-mouthguard. 1.1961 0.03191 204 169 30 5
3714 I shall now play "The Flight of the Bumblebee" 1.1961 0.03265 204 170 28 6
3715 This next piece is my rendition of Simon & Garfunkle's, The Boxer. 1.1961 0.03339 204 171 26 7
3716 Float like a butterfly, play chords in B. 1.1960 0.03240 199 165 29 5
3717 This recital will last 12 rounds, or until I’m knocked out 1.1960 0.03393 199 167 25 7
3718 Wait until you heard it. 1.1959 0.03291 194 161 28 5
3719 And now my musical portrait of Muhamad Ali... 1.1959 0.03371 194 162 26 6
3720 The next movement has many sharps. 1.1958 0.03509 189 159 23 7
3721 I used to play outside the box. 1.1957 0.03401 184 153 26 5
3722 The final piece of the evening is Piano Concerto no.1, in multiple keys, "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" by Mr Michael Tyson. From his Magnum Opus, " You better clap!" 1.1957 0.03654 184 156 20 8
3723 Jolly good Boxing Day recital, isn't it? 1.1956 0.02934 225 185 36 4
3724 This is for Mr Stallone at the bar who has requested his nightly favorite, The Rocky Theme Song.... 1.1955 0.03042 220 182 33 5
3725 I promise you, you’ll be instantly hooked. 1.1955 0.02973 220 181 35 4
3726 Box Piano Concerto No. 1 1.1953 0.03085 215 178 32 5
3727 I call my next piece, Could Someone Please Come Scratch My Nose 1.1953 0.03155 215 179 30 6
3728 If it calls for cords I can. 1.1953 0.02941 215 176 36 3
3729 I am just the page turner. 1.1953 0.03223 215 180 28 7
3730 And the boxer on the bus goes Wham Bam Bam.” 1.1952 0.03409 210 178 23 9
3731 Yo Adrian, it's called Rocky V' Maninov..." 1.1952 0.03341 210 177 25 8
3732 If you liked the last one, you should like this one too. 1.1951 0.03758 164 138 20 6
3733 And now a prelude in C minor by Rocky Balboa 1.1951 0.02955 246 205 34 7
3734 I can punch out this symphony in 11/16ths time. 1.1951 0.03176 205 170 30 5
3735 I'm going to punch my way through this tune, no pun intended. 1.1951 0.03758 164 138 20 6
3736 Vladimir Ali is shocked by his 10 stanza penalty for hitting below the keyboard. 1.1950 0.02935 241 200 35 6
3737 Who requested a glove song? 1.1950 0.03225 200 166 29 5
3738 Please sing along while I knock out 15 rounds of "Row, Row, Row your Boat". 1.1949 0.03194 195 161 30 4
3739 Next, I'm going to try to pound out Liszt's Campanella. 1.1949 0.03276 195 162 28 5
3740 It’s a safety thing. 1.1949 0.03276 195 162 28 5
3741 Liberboxy. 1.1949 0.03276 195 162 28 5
3742 They call me Beathoven 1.1949 0.03110 195 160 32 3
3743 As part of my international series, a new composition on the Boxer Rebellion. 1.1949 0.03276 195 162 28 5
3744 Oh, a 'jaunty' tune. I thought you said 'punchy,' Madame. 1.1948 0.02885 231 190 37 4
3745 And now, Concerto in C Minor by the great Rocky Marchiano. 1.1947 0.03157 190 156 31 3
3746 My Sforzando tends to be too forceful. 1.1947 0.03157 190 156 31 3
3747 And now, 'Variations on the Theme from "Rocky" .' 1.1947 0.03329 190 158 27 5
3748 Let's get ready to mambooooooooooooo! 1.1947 0.03242 226 191 26 9
3749 And for my encore this evening, I give you "Fight of the Bumblebee". 1.1946 0.03470 185 155 24 6
3750 Is someone recording this? 1.1946 0.03385 185 154 26 5
3751 Its called the 10 second sonata 1.1946 0.03352 221 188 23 10
3752 Am I supposed to float like a butterfly or sting like a bee? 1.1946 0.03097 221 184 31 6
3753 And now, a ci·né·ma-vé·ri·té reimagining of the theme to “Rocky” — as played by the protagonist. 1.1946 0.03290 221 187 25 9
3754 And now, 'Bombast'. 1.1944 0.03276 216 182 26 8
3755 And now Knockout in B flat minor. 1.1944 0.03142 216 180 30 6
3756 And now, allegro for ten toes. 1.1944 0.03142 216 180 30 6
3757 At Master Class, he said I was pounding the keyboard. I just want to play the triangle. 1.1943 0.03188 211 176 29 6
3758 Plus, I could dance like a butterfly and sing like a bee." 1.1943 0.03188 211 176 29 6
3759 Do I hear another request for “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.1943 0.03394 211 179 23 9
3760 And now my rendition of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” 1.1943 0.03409 175 145 26 4
3761 Asking only workman’s wages I come looking for a job . . . 1.1942 0.03309 206 173 26 7
3762 I’m just all thumbs! 1.1942 0.03087 206 170 32 4
3763 And for my last piece, I will deliver a sucker punch to Schumann. 1.1942 0.03162 206 171 30 5
3764 My first selection will be "Sonata for piano and bell". 1.1942 0.03380 206 174 24 8
3765 If you don't stay quiet I'll take my gloves off! 1.1942 0.03087 206 170 32 4
3766 My last gig was the Punch n Judy Show! 1.1942 0.03236 206 172 28 6
3767 And now my gloves on rendition of the theme song from the film Rocky 1.1942 0.03380 206 174 24 8
3768 The conductor told me he looking for musicians with fistfuls of talent. 1.1941 0.03022 237 198 32 7
3769 In case I get booed. 1.1940 0.03132 201 166 31 4
3770 I will now play Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Boxer”. 1.1940 0.03362 201 169 25 7
3771 I’m going to play the next song with alternating body parts 1.1940 0.03287 201 168 27 6
3772 This next piece is by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.1940 0.03287 201 168 27 6
3773 And now a piece from Ali-Frazier "Thrilla in Manila." 1.1939 0.03261 196 163 28 5
3774 This one's called "Revolution 9." 1.1939 0.03179 196 162 30 4
3775 And now a word from our sponsor, Everlast. 1.1938 0.02977 227 188 34 5
3776 You disgust me. 1.1937 0.03475 191 161 23 7
3777 Yo, Beethoven. 1.1937 0.03150 222 186 29 7
3778 Adrian? Adriaaaan! 1.1937 0.03084 222 185 31 6
3779 For my next piece, I shall work the body, relentlessly. 1.1935 0.03128 217 181 30 6
3780 And now for some post-Charles Ives. 1.1935 0.03281 186 154 28 4
3781 I call this one Raging Bull in the Eye of the Tiger. 1.1935 0.03059 217 180 32 5
3782 I call this Fight Song. 1.1935 0.02989 217 179 34 4
3783 There would be no sequel to Concerto #1 by Rockymaninoff 1.1935 0.02989 217 179 34 4
3784 This is nothing. Try using chopsticks to eat with these things on! 1.1935 0.03196 217 182 28 7
3785 And now for something that's tough to play ... 1.1935 0.03196 217 182 28 7
3786 Sock it to mi? 1.1934 0.03103 212 176 31 5
3787 My next piece is in the key of Z. 1.1934 0.03030 212 175 33 4
3788 Next person talking shit about my piano playing is getting they ass beat. 1.1934 0.03312 212 179 25 8
3789 Well, I can hardly be expected to sumo wrestle in this outfit, now can I? 1.1934 0.03103 212 176 31 5
3790 And my next piece is titled Nail Biters Lament. 1.1934 0.03312 212 179 25 8
3791 How about a little Beethoven? 1.1934 0.03335 181 150 27 4
3792 I'm doing my grand finale in the first round. 1.1933 0.02890 238 197 36 5
3793 For round one, I will play a rhapsody in jab 1.1932 0.03365 207 175 24 8
3794 My next piece will be the opening score from Jaws 1.1932 0.03148 207 172 30 5
3795 Mama wanted me to be a pianist, but my doggie wanted me to be a boxer. 1.1931 0.02798 233 191 39 3
3796 What was wrong with the hook? 1.1931 0.03272 202 169 27 6
3797 I'm only the undercard. 1.1931 0.02956 202 165 35 2
3798 I will now play chopsticks 1.1931 0.03272 202 169 27 6
3799 ... next, your applause will determine whether I play Chopin’s Scherzo No. 2 or punch myself in the face. 1.1931 0.03560 202 173 19 10
3800 This is dedicated to the memory of “The Boxer Rebellion. 1.1931 0.03491 202 172 21 9
3801 I couldn't make it as a concert pianist so now I’m a performance artist. 1.1930 0.02899 228 188 36 4
3802 I'll take requests for fight songs 1.1930 0.02763 228 186 40 2
3803 I’ve always had a mixed relationship with this next piece. 1.1929 0.03324 197 165 26 6
3804 Hello Philly! Just for you the theme from Rocky. 1.1929 0.03245 197 164 28 5
3805 Float like a Satie, Sting like a Stravinsky 1.1929 0.03401 197 166 24 7
3806 I am certain that I heard NIGHT club. 1.1929 0.03245 197 164 28 5
3807 Forget Horowitz. I am the greatest! 1.1929 0.03245 197 164 28 5
3808 It would be remembered as a poor performance if the cellphone had not gone off 1.1929 0.03165 197 163 30 4
3809 Yea, just pounding out a new tune. 1.1927 0.03214 192 159 29 4
3810 Music AND sports? 'Wild Thing' says yes. 1.1927 0.03459 192 162 23 7
3811 Yes, there was actually a lot of competition for this gig, now that you ask. How did you know? 1.1927 0.03127 192 158 31 3
3812 Bach's fourth fugue? I thought you suggested box for the few-- 1.1927 0.03459 192 162 23 7
3813 And my favorite chord; a four octave G minor 7th. 1.1927 0.03379 192 161 25 6
3814 Sotto? I thought you said Lamotta.... 1.1927 0.02905 218 179 36 3
3815 Boxing in E flat 1.1927 0.03115 218 182 30 6
3816 I'm having a little trouble expressing the nuances of the tonality on this pieces. 1.1927 0.03182 218 183 28 7
3817 Next, Sonata for Losers in D flat-on-your-back minor. 1.1927 0.03047 218 181 32 5
3818 Now I'd like to play a tune which was a favorite of Muhammad Ali. 1.1925 0.03436 187 157 24 6
3819 I will now play 'Pugilism in D minor'. 1.1925 0.03352 187 156 26 5
3820 So she says I can do it, then doesn't show up 1.1925 0.03265 187 155 28 4
3821 This next one is a bit heavier... 1.1925 0.03161 213 178 29 6
3822 I call this one The Flight of the Dirigible. 1.1925 0.03161 213 178 29 6
3823 My next piece is the Muhammad Ali arrangement of ‘4’33” ’. 1.1925 0.03090 213 177 31 5
3824 And now, ladies and gentlemen, my rendition of the theme from Rocky. 1.1925 0.03298 213 180 25 8
3825 No, please. Not "The Boxer" again. 1.1923 0.03496 182 153 23 6
3826 I will now play “Bust You in the Chopsticks.” 1.1923 0.03135 208 173 30 5
3827 I float like a butterfly and tickle the keys 1.1923 0.03208 208 174 28 6
3828 And now... the Joe Louis Suite... 1.1923 0.03280 208 175 26 7
3829 I will now play for you Frédéric Chopin's Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor featuring a right uppercut-left hook combination. 1.1923 0.03318 182 151 27 4
3830 Tonight I'm going to play "Tyson" Sonata in be flat 1.1921 0.03018 229 191 32 6
3831 And now for my interpretation of Ravel's concerto for the left hook. 1.1921 0.03024 203 167 33 3
3832 In honor of Victor Borge I shall strike up the band, by hand. 1.1921 0.03104 203 168 31 4
3833 And now for the debut of my latest composition, 'Glissando Serenade, in F♯ Major' 1.1921 0.03331 203 171 25 7
3834 This fighter is a natural, Jim. His punches are sharp, despite being a bit flat-footed, and that accidental in the 5th measure was fairly minor. He should have no trouble walking out with A Major victory tonight. 1.1921 0.03404 203 172 23 8
3835 And now, ladies and gentlemen: Rocky 3. 1.1921 0.03182 203 169 29 5
3836 How to fix jammed piano keys ~wikiHow 1.1921 0.03104 203 168 31 4
3837 Sorry folks, but the muffle pedal isn't working. 1.1921 0.03331 203 171 25 7
3838 It's Beethoven, not Bach. 1.1920 0.03249 224 190 25 9
3839 Coach said I needed to decompress a little. 1.1920 0.02925 224 185 35 4
3840 if you don't like it, leave 1.1920 0.03059 224 187 31 6
3841 I’m sure the ad said pugilist wanted... 1.1919 0.03230 198 165 28 5
3842 My next tune is a knockout you ladies will enjoy. 1.1919 0.03230 198 165 28 5
3843 It's called "12 Rounds" . People find it punchy. 1.1918 0.03034 219 182 32 5
3844 My next set has a pirate theme....pass me my hook please. 1.1918 0.03034 219 182 32 5
3845 This is dedicated to ‘Rocky’ 1.1917 0.03198 193 160 29 4
3846 The audience immediately felt the weight of this political metaphor. 1.1917 0.03282 193 161 27 5
3847 I will now play a composition by Charles Ives. 1.1917 0.03363 193 162 25 6
3848 Play something punchy. 1.1916 0.03004 214 177 33 4
3849 And now, Marciano's First Sonata, traditionally performed as a round. 1.1916 0.03147 214 179 29 6
3850 it's a big sound when the leathers hit the ivories 1.1916 0.02930 214 176 35 3
3851 Beethoven's Hammerklavier sonata, cluster-chords, and glissandi: my work here is done. 1.1916 0.03077 214 178 31 5
3852 I don’t tickle anything,I float like a butterfly and sting like a Muthafucka! 1.1916 0.03147 214 179 29 6
3853 Oooo...the 1812 Overture, You bet I can do that.... 1.1916 0.03147 214 179 29 6
3854 Float like a butterfly, sting like a Beethoven sonata! 1.1916 0.02855 214 175 37 2
3855 I shall now play the Marquess of Queensberry version of Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.” 1.1915 0.03335 188 157 26 5
3856 And now, Muhammad Ali's "Float of the Butterfly" 1.1915 0.03502 188 159 22 7
3857 For my next piece, a little number by Mr. Mike Tyson. 1.1915 0.03582 188 160 20 8
3858 Now my classical reinterpretation of Mama Said Knock You Out. 1.1915 0.03335 188 157 26 5
3859 This next songs gonna be a real Knockout! 1.1914 0.02970 209 172 34 3
3860 I guarantee tonight's performance will be a knockout." 1.1914 0.03265 209 176 26 7
3861 And now for my final piece.. I will be playing boxsticks. 1.1914 0.03265 209 176 26 7
3862 My next piece is an homage to Keyboard Cat. 1.1913 0.03209 183 151 29 3
3863 And then I threw a left hook in A-minor. 1.1912 0.03090 204 169 31 4
3864 Wait, you mean to tell me this isn’t Canada and it’s not Boxing Day? 1.1912 0.03388 204 173 23 8
3865 Was aiming for a punchy staccato. Precision, not so much. 1.1912 0.03243 204 171 27 6
3866 So far, I can only play the first eight notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony 1.1912 0.03167 204 170 29 5
3867 Now for the Opus One-Two--bang! Right in the kisser. 1.1912 0.03243 204 171 27 6
3868 I only heard play Rocky not Rachmaninoff. 1.1912 0.03090 204 169 31 4
3869 Volti subito, or else. 1.1910 0.03060 178 145 32 1
3870 And now, for the fifth time, the Theme From Rocky. 1.1910 0.03136 199 165 30 4
3871 Wait till I get to the hook. 1.1910 0.03294 199 167 26 6
3872 This next concerto was inspired by incompetent eight-year-old and my lack of empathy. 1.1910 0.03294 199 167 26 6
3873 The told me I was playing a boxed set. 1.1910 0.03294 199 167 26 6
3874 On now, next on the program: Box Well-Tempered Clavier 1.1910 0.03216 199 166 28 5
3875 Jam ? I thought you wanted to jab 1.1910 0.03294 199 167 26 6
3876 And now, my Boxing Day Concerto. 1.1910 0.03136 199 165 30 4
3877 Are you not entertained?! 1.1909 0.02952 220 182 34 4
3878 Well, I find it easier than the string bass. 1.1907 0.02992 215 178 33 4
3879 Next, THE BOXER by Simon and Garfunkel!!! You’ll G-love it!! 1.1907 0.02992 215 178 33 4
3880 I always say folks, 'float like a butterfly, sting like a Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.1907 0.03269 215 182 25 8
3881 I will now pound out my last tune. 1.1907 0.03269 215 182 25 8
3882 I’ll knock out a few rounds for you now. 1.1907 0.03269 215 182 25 8
3883 I'm often referred to as a "technical knockout." 1.1907 0.03335 215 183 23 9
3884 Max Schmeling's Symphony No. 1 in E flat major combination. 1.1907 0.03134 215 180 29 6
3885 My next selection will consist of a couple of arpeggio-flourishes, and a combination jab-cross-left hook. The title of this piece is, "The Great Butterfly Dance of Ali in C-Major" by Angelo Dundee. 1.1905 0.03107 210 175 30 5
3886 Next, the Mayweather concerto in e minor. 1.1905 0.02865 231 191 36 4
3887 Ah, the light! It was prerecorded, yes, but I wrote every word. 1.1905 0.03233 189 157 28 4
3888 Pugilist Waltz in C... 1.1905 0.03485 189 160 22 7
3889 I tried to explain to the people in wardrobe that the fight isn't till tomorrow night! 1.1905 0.03180 210 176 28 6
3890 ...and now a new composition intended for tweeting. 1.1905 0.03177 231 196 26 9
3891 ...and for all you dancers, I'll take a mandatory 8 count for this round. 1.1905 0.03403 189 159 24 6
3892 Elton, Wednesday night is NOT alright for fighting. 1.1905 0.03056 231 194 30 7
3893 As seen on TV: pound the keys without pain. Guaranteed or your money back. 1.1905 0.03320 210 178 24 8
3894 Next, I will get out of this piano all that I can. 1.1903 0.03343 226 194 21 11
3895 Piansubmissimo? 1.1903 0.03034 226 189 31 6
3896 And now, Toccata, no Fugue. 1.1902 0.03076 205 170 31 4
3897 My next selection is the theme song from 'Rocky' 1.1902 0.03228 205 172 27 6
3898 And now, Rocky Concerto #3 in D Minor. 1.1900 0.03009 221 184 32 5
3899 Und now vee geev you Bach’s ‘Erhöhtes Fleisch und Blut’ 1.1900 0.03040 200 165 32 3
3900 iTunes has the whole boxed set. 1.1898 0.02906 216 178 35 3
3901 My parents always called it banging, so here it is! 1.1898 0.03120 216 181 29 6
3902 Concerto for the dexterity impaired. 1.1898 0.03051 216 180 31 5
3903 And now, my own special version of "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.1897 0.03410 195 165 23 7
3904 And now I will perform the newly-discovered very last symphony composed by Beethoven when he was both deaf and blind. 1.1897 0.03251 195 163 27 5
3905 And now, Boxing Rhapsody 1.1897 0.03084 195 161 31 3
3906 You're gonna love this guy, Zoe! He's a real knockout! 1.1896 0.02867 211 173 36 2
3907 We are only on the cusp of what reality TV will be 1.1896 0.03166 211 177 28 6
3908 I've got the beat --down. 1.1896 0.03166 211 177 28 6
3909 I will now hum that song from Rocky. 1.1896 0.03094 211 176 30 5
3910 I heard of "all thumbs" but this is ridiculous 1.1895 0.03130 190 157 30 3
3911 For my next little number, the theme from Rocky. 1.1895 0.03218 190 158 28 4
3912 Mike Tyson, this one's for you. 1.1894 0.03210 227 193 25 9
3913 If the flutist can have his mouth guard, I get to keep these. 1.1893 0.03358 206 175 23 8
3914 I call it Rocky 'n' Roll. 1.1893 0.03214 206 173 27 6
3915 And now, Rocky's Piano Concerto No. 2. 1.1893 0.02775 243 201 38 4
3916 Keep playing or start fighting, that's the question 1.1892 0.02997 222 185 32 5
3917 And now a Simon and Garfunkel tune 1.1892 0.03444 185 156 23 6
3918 I’ll now fight my way through some more Chopin. 1.1892 0.03084 185 152 31 2
3919 This next one's entitled: "A Major knockout" 1.1891 0.02992 238 200 31 7
3920 Caution: This may knock you out. 1.1891 0.03107 201 167 30 4
3921 And now I suppose you're going to request Liszt's Campanella? 1.1891 0.03413 201 171 22 8
3922 How do I open this thing? 1.1891 0.03026 201 166 32 3
3923 Ok....so I'm not known for my delicate arpeggios. 1.1889 0.02894 217 179 35 3
3924 if we count to 10 maybe he'll leave 1.1889 0.03307 217 185 23 9
3925 Backstage I'm light as a feather but when the lights come on I'm a bit heavy handed. 1.1889 0.03038 217 181 31 5
3926 My next bout is Prokofiev's Sonata #6. 1.1889 0.03242 217 184 25 8
3927 For my final match, I will be taking on Liszt's "La Campanella." 1.1889 0.02894 217 179 35 3
3928 I'm gonna beat this music into submission. 1.1888 0.03316 196 165 25 6
3929 This isn’t the Steinway vs. Sons match? 1.1888 0.02802 196 159 37 0
3930 I need the score for this number! 1.1887 0.03081 212 177 30 5
3931 Did I hear a request for "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.1887 0.03007 212 176 32 4
3932 We'll knock 'em out with Beethoven 1.1887 0.02855 212 174 36 2
3933 I will now box the boogaloo in D minor. 1.1886 0.03569 175 148 21 6
3934 ....and next, songs from the millennial generation. 1.1885 0.03530 191 163 20 8
3935 Ladies and gentlemen, please pardon the gloves. They're a temporary solution to my chronic masturbation. 1.1884 0.03480 207 178 19 10
3936 I like a good challenge 1.1884 0.03049 207 172 31 4
3937 the piano is a broad spectrum instrument whose range is rarely exploited in full...I invite you to listen carefully as I play my concerto no1 "for our times" 1.1883 0.03117 223 188 28 7
3938 Now, listen to this beat! 1.1881 0.03172 202 169 28 5
3939 And now, variations on a theme of Pacquiao. 1.1881 0.03249 202 170 26 6
3940 I just don't want Lang Lang to see my fingerings! 1.1881 0.03249 202 170 26 6
3941 In synthesis of my interests, I will be playing the theme from 'Rocky' 1.1881 0.03013 202 167 32 3
3942 And now ladies and gentleman, my classical rendition of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out". 1.1881 0.03419 218 188 19 11
3943 How does the Fight Song go? 1.1878 0.03398 181 152 24 5
3944 For my next act, I will be playing "under pressure". 1.1878 0.03306 181 151 26 4
3945 This is a performance art piece where I pummel the keys into submission. I always win. 1.1878 0.03067 213 178 30 5
3946 Chopsticks was easy. 1.1878 0.02815 245 204 36 5
3947 I hope you like the opening of Beethoven’s Fifth. 1.1875 0.03434 192 163 22 7
3948 I told you, I'm a pugilist. 1.1875 0.02972 224 187 32 5
3949 did i get the schedule wrong? 1.1875 0.03272 192 161 26 5
3950 'This next was first performed molto vovace by my three-year-old.' 1.1875 0.02959 208 172 33 3
3951 -The piece ends in a fiery double octave scale run down the keyboard. 1.1875 0.03036 208 173 31 4
3952 And now, the Punch Drunk Concerto in C Minor. 1.1875 0.03272 192 161 26 5
3953 I'm multitasking. 1.1875 0.02904 224 186 34 4
3954 #RockyManEnough 1.1875 0.03036 208 173 31 4
3955 First some Beathoven, then Box Third Movement, and finishing with a TKOvsky's piece 1.1875 0.03185 208 175 27 6
3956 The refrain is a bit punchy. 1.1872 0.02756 235 194 38 3
3957 I was told it was impolite to tickle the ivories without their permission. 1.1872 0.03081 219 184 29 6
3958 This is a little number I call 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.' 1.1872 0.02870 219 181 35 3
3959 sonata #10 for Boxers in TKO flat 1.1872 0.03214 219 186 25 8
3960 Anyone have a sippy-cup? 1.1872 0.03309 203 172 24 7
3961 My ivory tickling was going too far, apparently. 1.1869 0.03125 214 180 28 6
3962 C, D, E, F, G, K. O... 1.1869 0.03125 214 180 28 6
3963 My next song will be in the key of OH. 1.1869 0.03125 214 180 28 6
3964 I'm rehearsing for a box set 1.1869 0.03362 198 168 23 7
3965 Did I miss the punchline? 1.1869 0.03511 198 170 19 9
3966 Imposter syndrome? Never heard of it! 1.1869 0.03206 198 166 27 5
3967 Shall I play The Boxer? 1.1867 0.03016 241 204 29 8
3968 Any guesses on my first career? 1.1867 0.03091 225 190 28 7
3969 In this political climate, I ‘m always prepared to hit back. 1.1866 0.03098 209 175 29 5
3970 Pianissimo anyone? 1.1865 0.03172 193 161 28 4
3971 You have heard of a lead foot, now you have heavy hands. 1.1865 0.03338 193 163 24 6
3972 If you wear these you can hit the K and O notes 1.1864 0.03056 236 200 28 8
3973 Next, I'll be pounding out Helter Skelter. 1.1864 0.03135 220 186 27 7
3974 And now a piece from The Nut Cracker 1.1864 0.02709 220 180 39 1
3975 I'm gonna knock out a little tune for you right now. It's called "Float Like Butterfly. Bang on the Keys Like a Five Year Old." 1.1864 0.03068 220 185 29 6
3976 ....but the music says molto softo 1.1864 0.03000 220 184 31 5
3977 This piece is now in hommage to Muhammad Ali. 1.1864 0.03068 220 185 29 6
3978 I'm a student of Sugar Ray and Ray Charles. 1.1863 0.03366 204 174 22 8
3979 Float like a butterfly, sting like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1863 0.02986 204 169 32 3
3980 Could someone please stick their head in the Green Room and wake me up? 1.1862 0.03476 188 160 21 7
3981 Cliburn's mama said knock you out . . . 1.1860 0.03315 215 184 22 9
3982 A little more Stockhausen? 1.1860 0.03041 215 180 30 5
3983 Hey, I'll play anything I want! 1.1859 0.03421 199 170 21 8
3984 I'm hoping this next number will appeal to the Millennials. 1.1859 0.03421 199 170 21 8
3985 Baby it’s cold outside. 1.1859 0.03110 199 166 29 4
3986 I want you to really belt it out on this one! 1.1859 0.03028 199 165 31 3
3987 And now: Chopin Prelude in #@%? minor. 1.1858 0.03079 226 191 28 7
3988 And now for Schubert's Undefeated! 1.1858 0.03079 226 191 28 7
3989 Are you sure you want to hear me play the theme from "Rocky" again? 1.1858 0.03180 183 152 28 3
3990 I will now play 'Chopsticks' with using only my thumbs. 1.1857 0.03010 210 175 31 4
3991 This is one of Tchaikovsky's greatest hits. I hope you'll enjoy it. 1.1857 0.02933 210 174 33 3
3992 They told me to punch out a song. 1.1857 0.03157 210 177 27 6
3993 I like to call this one the Pizzicato Palooka. 1.1857 0.03010 210 175 31 4
3994 This melody is going to hit you like a punch in the face. 1.1857 0.02924 237 199 32 6
3995 I’m practicing my Boxing Day medley. 1.1856 0.03071 194 161 30 3
3996 And now, the Box Sonata in d minor 1.1856 0.03479 194 166 20 8
3997 This will be my first concert in the percussion section. 1.1856 0.03401 194 165 22 7
3998 I'd like to play for you a little 12- round blues. 1.1855 0.02918 221 184 33 4
3999 Ding ding ding 1.1855 0.02846 221 183 35 3
4000 For the second round, I am going to take a more creative approach. 1.1855 0.03056 221 186 29 6
4001 This one is a punchy number 1.1854 0.02891 205 169 34 2
4002 This isn’t what I meant when I said we should play a music box. 1.1854 0.03279 205 174 24 7
4003 As requested, I will now play The Boxer. 1.1853 0.03025 232 196 29 7
4004 You want me to break its leg? 1.1853 0.02962 232 195 31 6
4005 And now, a Sex Pistols medley. 1.1852 0.03028 216 181 30 5
4006 This next piece is the Apollo’s Creed. 1.1852 0.03292 189 159 25 5
4007 I'm know for subtlety and nuance. 1.1852 0.03099 216 182 28 6
4008 I'm going for badass profondo. 1.1852 0.03292 189 159 25 5
4009 Sure, I'll play you a song. But first, I need to take off my gloves! 1.1852 0.03377 189 160 23 6
4010 Piano Club 1.1852 0.02956 216 180 32 4
4011 my hands are really delicate 1.1852 0.03167 216 183 26 7
4012 I will now play Bach’s Boxer Fugue in F Major/Minor 1.1852 0.03025 189 156 31 2
4013 Next I'll play the punk rock version of "Flight of the Bumblebee". 1.1852 0.02807 216 178 36 2
4014 I do big sounds. 1.1850 0.02800 227 188 36 3
4015 No, I don't know any punchy tunes! 1.1850 0.03066 227 192 28 7
4016 Tonight, ladies & gentlemen Punch for Punch in B Minor 1.1850 0.03066 227 192 28 7
4017 My first number will be Bach's Concerto to Mike Tyson 1.1850 0.03191 227 194 24 9
4018 ♫♫ I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told... ♫♫ 1.1850 0.03176 200 168 27 5
4019 And now I will play a selection from ‘Ready to Rumble for Chopsticks.’ 1.1850 0.03254 200 169 25 6
4020 Should I start with the hook? 1.1850 0.03096 200 167 29 4
4021 Dueling Piano 1.1850 0.03331 200 170 23 7
4022 My next song is The Boxer. 1.1850 0.03014 200 166 31 3
4023 I've been fighting with that diminuendo for weeks. 1.1848 0.02997 211 176 31 4
4024 Now, I will fight through Schumann’s Toccata in C Major Op. 7. 1.1848 0.02920 211 175 33 3
4025 The Eye of the Tiger", of course 1.1848 0.03215 211 179 25 7
4026 And now, Bach’s most famous counterpunch! 1.1848 0.03071 211 177 29 5
4027 Ahma gonna sock it to ya tonight! 1.1848 0.02997 211 176 31 4
4028 I was always taught to punch the keys. 1.1848 0.03071 211 177 29 5
4029 Oh shit, I left the light on at home. 1.1848 0.03215 211 179 25 7
4030 Chopin is no match for me 1.1848 0.02920 211 175 33 3
4031 And for those who may be offended by any of my songs, I've taken matters into my own hands. 1.1848 0.03347 184 155 24 5
4032 For the very first time, sit back and savor the theme from "Rocky". 1.1848 0.03164 184 153 28 3
4033 I never thought my job as a keypunch operator would ever lead to this... 1.1848 0.03347 184 155 24 5
4034 And now my own original composition, “Piano Concerto No. 1 in Box Major.” 1.1848 0.03257 184 154 26 4
4035 And now for something a bit more light-weight. 1.1847 0.02975 222 186 31 5
4036 SRO for the TKO. 1.1847 0.03043 222 187 29 6
4037 For my encore Rondo #10 1.1846 0.03225 195 164 26 5
4038 For my next selection, "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.1846 0.03142 195 163 28 4
4039 Where are the nose flutes? 1.1846 0.02969 195 161 32 2
4040 I call this one 'Bopsticks'. 1.1846 0.03142 195 163 28 4
4041 Listen up, kids. Never be afraid of expressing yourself. 1.1846 0.03057 195 162 30 3
4042 It's ok, I'm just the undercard. 1.1846 0.02969 195 161 32 2
4043 I know you all wanted a Rocky themed event, but this might prove challenging. 1.1845 0.03039 206 172 30 4
4044 Okay, I got it. Float like a butterfly and sting like’ the flight of the bumblebee.’ 1.1845 0.03191 206 174 26 6
4045 Hitting the keys has a whole new meaning with these gloves on. 1.1845 0.02960 206 171 32 3
4046 I can turn them into black and blue keys. 1.1845 0.03116 206 173 28 5
4047 No, No, No! I said, "We need to punch up the LYRICS a bit!...NOT the MELODY!!! 1.1843 0.03016 217 182 30 5
4048 Ah! I beg your pardon. Bach’s what? 1.1843 0.03086 217 183 28 6
4049 Please don't yell at me Coach! I know the fight is tomorrow, and I should be skipping rope and running up the stairs and stuff like that, but, may I tell you something? Music means more to me. 1.1842 0.03102 190 158 29 3
4050 My next piece is Rocky's Rachmaninoff"s Piano Concerto .2 1.1842 0.03442 190 162 21 7
4051 We conclude our "Cinema from the 70's" program with this classic rendition of "Eye of the Tiger." 1.1842 0.03054 228 193 28 7
4052 Now for my next piece is LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” . 1.1842 0.02990 228 192 30 6
4053 The suit and piano are just for show. 1.1842 0.03102 190 158 29 3
4054 Let me know if you think it's a knockout. 1.1842 0.03102 190 158 29 3
4055 I am not a real pianist; I just play one on TV. 1.1841 0.02841 239 200 34 5
4056 Uh, "Flight of the Bumblebee," in B Flat Minor. 1.1841 0.03082 201 168 29 4
4057 Now, I will really bang out the notes! 1.1841 0.03000 201 167 31 3
4058 The conductor won’t fight me on the next piece. He’s Haydn 1.1841 0.03240 201 170 25 6
4059 In the next round I'm going to play one of the all-time hardest hits of Rodgers and Pummelstein. 1.1841 0.03162 201 169 27 5
4060 I said with my hands tied behind my back 1.1840 0.02908 212 176 33 3
4061 For my next number, I'm going to play Moe Zart's "Rondo alla Trump" 1.1840 0.03130 212 179 27 6
4062 Allow me to punch in a few of your favorite tunes 1.1840 0.03201 212 180 25 7
4063 And now a selection form “Rocky “ 1.1840 0.02830 212 175 35 2
4064 My next medley will be Eye of the Tiger, Rock Me, and Kaboom. 1.1839 0.03030 223 188 29 6
4065 Welcome to the half price tribute to Elton John 1.1839 0.02894 223 186 33 4
4066 Who said pound it 1.1838 0.03149 185 154 28 3
4067 A funny thing happened on my way to the concert you all paid a lot of money for ..... 1.1838 0.03330 185 156 24 5
4068 I'm gonna knock Mr. Steinway out, then I'm gonna knock him back in again. 1.1838 0.02876 234 196 33 5
4069 I will now continue with works by Motzhurt and Beatoven. 1.1837 0.03128 196 164 28 4
4070 This next dance will be the box step. 1.1837 0.03128 196 164 28 4
4071 And now, Ludwig von Marciano's Eight Round in D Minor 1.1837 0.03446 196 168 20 8
4072 And now for my impression of the late great Bobby Short. 1.1837 0.03369 196 167 22 7
4073 Okay, Beethoven, bring it on! 1.1836 0.03102 207 174 28 5
4074 We are the champions, my friends And we'll keep on fighting till the end". 1.1836 0.03025 207 173 30 4
4075 This us my homage to Boxing Day 1.1835 0.02932 218 182 32 4
4076 This will be a real bash. 1.1834 0.02913 229 192 32 5
4077 Imagine Van Cliburn, the early years. 1.1832 0.03175 191 160 27 4
4078 And now for you my new piano concerto, "Slugfest in B Flatten". 1.1832 0.03147 202 170 27 5
4079 It’s modern music ! 1.1832 0.03147 202 170 27 5
4080 Thou shalt see these thumbs play all 88 keys, then I'll float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.1832 0.03374 202 173 21 8
4081 This seems a bit extreme for a single hangnail. 1.1832 0.03068 202 169 29 4
4082 This next piece I am going to play for you this evening is a "real knockout". 1.1832 0.03225 202 171 25 6
4083 I knew you VanCliburn guys changed the audition protocol, but this? 1.1832 0.03225 202 171 25 6
4084 I shall now perform Brzęczyszczykiewicz's 'Concerto for Piano and Boxing Gloves.' 1.1831 0.03187 213 181 25 7
4085 ..if I finish and you're still clappin' i'll know for the first time in my life...that I weren't just a another bum from the conservatory. 1.1831 0.03045 213 179 29 5
4086 And for my next selection I'd like to play that old favorite, 'Put Up Your Dukes.' 1.1831 0.03117 213 180 27 6
4087 We will start the evening with a little Rachmaninoff up in here. 1.1831 0.03117 213 180 27 6
4088 Marcato! 1.1831 0.03187 213 181 25 7
4089 This one is called "I Wanna Punch Your Lights Out." 1.1831 0.03454 213 185 17 11
4090 Let's Get Ready to... Percussion? 1.1831 0.03187 213 181 25 7
4091 And now I shall fight thru Listz’s Campanella 1.1830 0.03018 224 189 29 6
4092 Now, I will play "Boxer on a G String." 1.1830 0.03018 224 189 29 6
4093 I'd like to dedicate this next number - "Eye of the Tiger" - to my good friend Mr. T 1.1830 0.03108 235 201 25 9
4094 A knockout performance or should I say a Bach-out 1.1830 0.02735 235 195 37 3
4095 This next piece is “Beethoven’s Fists in A Minor Fight”. 1.1830 0.02989 235 199 29 7
4096 One man show. One man audience. 1.1830 0.03166 235 202 23 10
4097 My next selection, The FIGHT of the Bumblebee. 1.1829 0.03349 175 147 24 4
4098 And now, a little paino... 1.1827 0.03113 197 165 28 4
4099 For my first piece I would like to play “Contender” in the key of G flat.” 1.1827 0.03195 197 166 26 5
4100 Are you kidding me? These aree not the kid gloves I had in mind! 1.1827 0.03195 197 166 26 5
4101 I will now play the Bang Bang Bang Concerto 1.1827 0.03012 208 174 30 4
4102 And you all sound like you're sawing wood. 1.1826 0.03127 219 186 26 7
4103 This next one is called 'The Fight for Art.' 1.1826 0.03194 219 187 24 8
4104 Could you please tune this piano? 1.1826 0.02990 219 184 30 5
4105 Ahh, Happy to oblige! Chop sticks it is! 1.1826 0.03127 219 186 26 7
4106 And now, “The Double Knuckle Concerto” 1.1826 0.02901 230 193 32 5
4107 Please wait until the end to tweet your reviews. 1.1823 0.03073 192 160 29 3
4108 This next piece has a nice right hook. 1.1823 0.03245 192 162 25 5
4109 And now: Fisticuffs Etude ala’ Cage. 1.1823 0.03160 192 161 27 4
4110 I will now knock out 'The Theme From Rocky' for you.... 1.1823 0.03245 192 162 25 5
4111 And in 1998 I knocked out a guy named Steinway. 1.1822 0.03103 214 181 27 6
4112 I will now play Bim Bang Bach in C Major 1.1822 0.03006 225 190 29 6
4113 One more low blow and Steinway is disqualified 1.1818 0.02921 209 174 32 3
4114 I have to go to the bathroom. 1.1818 0.03148 209 177 26 6
4115 I said, "I don't take requests!!" 1.1818 0.03074 209 176 28 5
4116 I'll be playing 'Rite of Spring' tonight, I just thought I'd come prepared. 1.1818 0.03099 198 166 28 4
4117 And the last piece tonight is Ali's "Piano Sonata in A minor". 1.1818 0.03148 209 177 26 6
4118 The next piece in our holiday program is "Anvils We Have Heard on High", originally composed by James Slamwick, Bishop of HexHamfist 1.1818 0.03221 209 178 24 7
4119 For my critics, we'll settle if it improves the playing? 1.1818 0.03297 187 158 24 5
4120 I like to end with the 1-2 upper-cut cord progression 1.1818 0.03118 187 156 28 3
4121 And now, the bar crawl sonata 1.1818 0.03114 220 187 26 7
4122 I'm pretty sure this next one's called, "You Go to My Head." 1.1818 0.02824 231 193 34 4
4123 I apologize for the brutality you are about to hear in three rounds. 1.1818 0.02761 220 182 36 2
4124 This one goes out to the knockout in the corner. 1.1818 0.03074 209 176 28 5
4125 This next composition is an opera prelude by my Nebelung cat. 1.1818 0.03180 220 188 24 8
4126 He never expected his performance would be such a hit. 1.1814 0.03090 215 182 27 6
4127 I call it "Float like a butterfly sting like flight of the bumblebee." 1.1814 0.03019 215 181 29 5
4128 I will now perform Beethoven’s 5th round, a piece widely regarded as his boldest. 1.1814 0.02794 215 178 35 2
4129 This next piece requires more than a little punching up. 1.1814 0.02794 215 178 35 2
4130 So, you think this would go better with a necktie? 1.1814 0.03415 204 176 19 9
4131 Next, Schumann’s Tocatta—mezzo forte. 1.1814 0.03415 204 176 19 9
4132 How much did you bet? 1.1814 0.02960 204 170 31 3
4133 Round four will be a short John Cage piece, and then I have a request for the dance mix of Swing, Swing, Swing. 1.1814 0.03196 204 173 25 6
4134 How long is Fur Elise again? 1.1814 0.03270 204 174 23 7
4135 This one is called 'Midnight Cat'... 1.1814 0.03270 204 174 23 7
4136 ...and now, the Concerto Pugilisto in C# Major by Muhammad Ali... 1.1814 0.03041 204 171 29 4
4137 This next piece is 'Ode to Mom' 1.1814 0.03196 204 173 25 6
4138 And now, 'Everlasting Love'. 1.1814 0.03196 204 173 25 6
4139 According to known aerodynamic principles, bumblebee flight is not possible. 1.1814 0.02960 204 170 31 3
4140 I will now play “Theme from Rocky.” 1.1813 0.03393 193 165 21 7
4141 And next: my variation on an etude by John Cage. ...In D-minor. 1.1813 0.03393 193 165 21 7
4142 Shall I pound out Tea for Two? 1.1813 0.03471 193 166 19 8
4143 This keeps me from being all thumbs. 1.1813 0.03352 182 154 23 5
4144 And now, this, from Joe Frazier and the Knockouts... You'll TOTALLY get the piano part... 1.1810 0.02895 221 185 32 4
4145 And now, "Toddler on the Ivories". 1.1810 0.02895 221 185 32 4
4146 The Cadenza! 1.1810 0.02966 221 186 30 5
4147 And now, some Stockhausen. 1.1810 0.03277 210 180 22 8
4148 What!? It’s strong conceptual music! 1.1810 0.03135 210 178 26 6
4149 And now, Flight of the Bumble Beast. 1.1810 0.03206 210 179 24 7
4150 That's half of it, they stuck my legs in cement 1.1810 0.03135 210 178 26 6
4151 I thought I’d punch up this next number. See what I did there? I can be funny too ... and for Josh’s information, the word is pronounced ‘pianist.’” 1.1809 0.03166 199 168 26 5
4152 Letssss Get Ready To ANIMATO!" 1.1809 0.03245 199 169 24 6
4153 Please excuse the absence of a B flat-on-my-back chord. 1.1809 0.03166 199 168 26 5
4154 I need these to play Prokofief's variations on Chopsticks, 1.1809 0.03245 199 169 24 6
4155 We are definitely “going out with a bang” tonight! 1.1809 0.03367 188 160 22 6
4156 Oh, so you meant handle with 'Kid gloves?' 1.1809 0.03281 188 159 24 5
4157 Is my ‘time out’ for playing too loud, over? 1.1806 0.02981 227 192 29 6
4158 And now, 'The Lucky Hand' by Shoenberg. 1.1806 0.03006 216 182 29 5
4159 Maestro, cut me please. 1.1806 0.02933 216 181 31 4
4160 Lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie-lie-lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie, Lie-le lie-lie-lie-le-lie, Lie-le-lie-lie-lie ..." 1.1805 0.03105 205 173 27 5
4161 Now, to break some hearts. 1.1805 0.03105 205 173 27 5
4162 I would like to pound out my latest political satirical piece. 1.1805 0.03181 205 174 25 6
4163 Knuckle Down Winsocki, Knuckle Down 1.1805 0.03027 205 172 29 4
4164 Thelonious Monk today, tomorrow, forever! 1.1805 0.03255 205 175 23 7
4165 I can play other songs than the theme to Rocky you know! 1.1805 0.03105 205 173 27 5
4166 A one and a two and a one two punch. 1.1805 0.03181 205 174 25 6
4167 Risin' up, back on the keys 1.1804 0.03044 194 162 29 3
4168 I wear these to keep from going blind. 1.1804 0.03376 194 166 21 7
4169 When I was learning to play the piano, I also bit my nails as a kid.......mom made me wear gloves. 1.1803 0.02993 233 198 28 7
4170 I call this piece Glissando. 1.1801 0.02896 211 176 32 3
4171 And now for some beatboxing... 1.1801 0.02973 211 177 30 4
4172 And now I'm going to play my discordant Mazurka No.1 in E. I don't know if it is sharp or flat. I hope you like it. 1.1801 0.02973 211 177 30 4
4173 This is how I provided thunderous applause at his rally. 1.1801 0.02973 211 177 30 4
4174 YOU ASKED FOR 12 TONE SERIES IN FORTISSIMO , VOILA ......!!! 1.1801 0.03331 211 182 20 9
4175 Now for my piano transcription from the Ring! 1.1801 0.03262 211 181 22 8
4176 Tonight's set is scheduled for 12 songs. 1.1801 0.03048 211 178 28 5
4177 The composer told me this was a knockout... 1.1800 0.02814 200 165 34 1
4178 And now my own composition. I call it “Boxsticks” 1.1800 0.03230 200 170 24 6
4179 Now for some Beathoven... 1.1798 0.03034 228 194 27 7
4180 I'll now be taking a quick break to make a momentous life decision. 1.1798 0.02836 228 191 33 4
4181 And now the 'Rocky' sonata in E minor." 1.1798 0.02969 228 193 29 6
4182 slam,bam,ali-kazan! 1.1798 0.02836 228 191 33 4
4183 Now a few tunes from that indie-rock group, The Boxer Rebellion 1.1798 0.03297 178 150 24 4
4184 my insurance agent will be here soon to release my hands 1.1797 0.03132 217 185 25 7
4185 They say the Rach 7, is very tough 1.1797 0.03266 217 187 21 9
4186 For this next tune, I recommend dancing the box-step. 1.1797 0.02921 217 182 31 4
4187 This next interlude will sting like a Bumblebee 1.1796 0.03167 206 175 25 6
4188 They think my tux looks stupid, don't they? 1.1796 0.03014 206 173 29 4
4189 Sometimes the C13#5b9 fights back. 1.1796 0.03241 206 176 23 7
4190 Be ready for something different. 1.1795 0.02656 234 194 38 2
4191 I will now play Liszt's Campanella in boxing gloves to prove how crazy good I am! 1.1795 0.02941 195 162 31 2
4192 Pound-for-pound, Frank is one of the best, but tonight he just couldn’t beat the refrain. 1.1794 0.02800 223 186 34 3
4193 My manager told me to punch up the encore... 1.1794 0.03009 223 189 28 6
4194 I stand corrected, you really can punch the keys. 1.1794 0.03204 223 192 22 9
4195 without further ado, I bring you the theme from Rocky, "I will fly now" 1.1794 0.02872 223 187 32 4
4196 Lesser pianists can play Chopin Etudes with fingers unfettered, but listen to me . . . says Trump 1.1792 0.03547 173 148 19 6
4197 And now, Box Two Part Inventions. 1.1791 0.03137 201 170 26 5
4198 I feel as though my career is at a crossroads. 1.1791 0.03137 201 170 26 5
4199 There had once been a time when Albert did not feel quite so defensive about his affinity for playing Russian pop music. 1.1791 0.03215 201 171 24 6
4200 I think this piano needs tuning. 1.1791 0.03215 201 171 24 6
4201 And now, Sonata in A minor by my wittew itty kitty cat, Colonel Chubby Von Meowington... 1.1791 0.03056 201 169 28 4
4202 My next tune is ‘The Boxer’ by Simon and Garfunkel... 1.1789 0.02981 190 158 30 2
4203 OK Table 4, let's see you request Freebird now! 1.1789 0.03163 190 160 26 4
4204 We said the audition was for covering Marvin Hamlisch not Marvin Hagler. 1.1789 0.03073 190 159 28 3
4205 For my next piece I’ll play ‘Piano Is Very Manly Dad’ in A-minor 1.1789 0.03163 190 160 26 4
4206 And now, in a salute to Bill Conti, I’ll perform “Gonna Fly Now” from Rocky.. 1.1789 0.02835 218 182 33 3
4207 The 1812: Bells and cannons ready? Go! 1.1789 0.02835 218 182 33 3
4208 I will now play 'Chopsticks' blindfolded and without sheet music. 1.1789 0.02980 218 184 29 5
4209 Badda Bee Badda Boom 1.1789 0.02980 218 184 29 5
4210 which key should I punch again? 1.1787 0.02921 207 173 31 3
4211 Oh, it's Rocbalboa's piano concerto in A flat. 1.1787 0.02756 207 171 35 1
4212 I am playing “The Boxer.” 1.1787 0.03078 207 175 27 5
4213 Think of it more as a performance. 1.1786 0.03015 196 164 29 3
4214 If you have any requests, please raise your glove 1.1786 0.03101 196 165 27 4
4215 No, I cannot play chopsticks with these on. Anyone else? 1.1786 0.03063 224 191 26 7
4216 Rocky XII - The Dueling Piano 1.1786 0.02929 224 189 30 5
4217 This piece was composed in July 1919 and dedicated to Jack Dempsey after von Krawlitz won a bundle on the Dempsey/Willard fight. 1.1786 0.02997 224 190 28 6
4218 Can you, Sir, find a better way to bring Pollock to the piano? 1.1786 0.03101 196 165 27 4
4219 I’m not particularly good with chopsticks. 1.1786 0.03063 224 191 26 7
4220 ...and attempting to play Sonata No. 14 WHILE sanctioned by the Nevada State Athletic Commission... 1.1784 0.03023 185 154 29 2
4221 It galvanizes my bass. 1.1784 0.03640 185 161 15 9
4222 I have a day job as a key punch operator. 1.1783 0.03009 230 196 27 7
4223 Half-step, bob and weave. Float like a butterfly, pound the keys like Liberace. 1.1783 0.02813 230 193 33 4
4224 This next song is called Crescendo of Cacophony 1.1783 0.02603 230 190 39 1
4225 I will now play Ravel’s Left Foot Concerto. 1.1783 0.03072 230 197 25 8
4226 Every body has a plan until they are told to play. 1.1782 0.02876 202 168 32 2
4227 And now a knock-off of "Baby, It's Cold Outside." 1.1782 0.03122 202 171 26 5
4228 And now, for the Symphony Fight Song. 1.1782 0.03276 202 173 22 7
4229 No worries. I spar with a viola. 1.1781 0.02897 219 184 31 4
4230 ...if you must know, I am a welterweight 1.1781 0.02823 219 183 33 3
4231 I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. 1.1780 0.03059 191 160 28 3
4232 I’ll be doing The Boxer , originally done bySimon and Garfunkel . My version is much better , because I have props . 1.1780 0.02703 236 197 36 3
4233 I don't see how I can hit the high notes 1.1779 0.03139 208 177 25 6
4234 I composed the next piece after hearing about beatboxing and before Googling it. 1.1779 0.03422 208 181 17 10
4235 And now a selection from the Simon and Garfunkel songbook. 1.1779 0.03139 208 177 25 6
4236 Theme to 'Rocky'." 1.1779 0.03139 208 177 25 6
4237 Now to punch out "Take the A Train" by the Duke 1.1779 0.03064 208 176 27 5
4238 Next I'm going to play a little number I call "The Mike Tyson Etude." 1.1779 0.03139 208 177 25 6
4239 Better this than brain surgery. 1.1778 0.03050 225 192 26 7
4240 Easy on the piano 1.1778 0.02917 225 190 30 5
4241 I play all the right notes 1.1778 0.03263 180 152 24 4
4242 I call this one the "pugilistic pianist." 1.1777 0.03169 197 167 25 5
4243 When I do box, they call me 'Kid Baby Grand'. 1.1777 0.03086 197 166 27 4
4244 Pick any etude, I’ll nail it! 1.1777 0.02914 197 164 31 2
4245 My next piece is dedicated to those who failed to achieve their boyhood dream despite a very inspiring '70s movie. 1.1777 0.03169 197 167 25 5
4246 I present Invention no. 3 the way it was meant to be played: Bach-xing style. 1.1776 0.02935 214 180 30 4
4247 Next I shall play 'Boonlight Bonata.' 1.1776 0.03080 214 182 26 6
4248 Here’s one for all you glove birds out there tonight. 1.1776 0.03220 214 184 22 8
4249 Tell me when I get to a 10-count. 1.1775 0.02869 231 195 31 5
4250 spouf menhf skgb. 1.1775 0.02802 231 194 33 4
4251 And now, Chopin sans arpeggios 1.1774 0.03104 186 156 27 3
4252 I shall perform a round by the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.1773 0.03186 203 173 24 6
4253 I will be performing several songs this evening, including the soundtrack from all the "Rocky" movies, and my especial favorite, "You Broke My Heart, So I Busted Your Jaw." 1.1773 0.03186 203 173 24 6
4254 My next selection is Ravel's Bolero. 1.1773 0.03029 203 171 28 4
4255 I'm happy to take requests, Madam, but Chopsticks is off the table. 1.1773 0.03186 203 173 24 6
4256 This way I can have that heavy Horowitz touch. 1.1773 0.02777 203 168 34 1
4257 Eye of the Tiger? Yeah, I know that one 1.1773 0.03261 203 174 22 7
4258 I never should’ve agreed to this Boxing Day Special… 1.1773 0.03186 203 173 24 6
4259 Just trying to punch up my jam. 1.1773 0.03025 220 187 27 6
4260 Use the hook! 1.1772 0.02758 237 199 34 4
4261 Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...! 1.1771 0.03044 192 161 28 3
4262 Hang on, folks, I need to tune him up. 1.1771 0.03302 192 164 22 6
4263 The vocalist will not be joining us for this next song in the program. 1.1771 0.02859 192 159 32 1
4264 If the very attractive redhead in the first row would take a seat - I'll proceed with 'Concerto with no Hands.' 1.1770 0.02896 209 175 31 3
4265 When you play Rocky 1.1770 0.02974 209 176 29 4
4266 My next selection will be the only étude composed by the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.1770 0.03269 209 180 21 8
4267 You can Tune a Piano but you can't Tuna fish 1.1770 0.03164 226 195 22 9
4268 I can do anything. 1.1770 0.02905 226 191 30 5
4269 In B flat. 1.1770 0.02905 226 191 30 5
4270 I coulda been a piano masta 1.1768 0.03235 198 169 23 6
4271 This next one’s a punch up of an old classic. 1.1768 0.02900 198 165 31 2
4272 I bring you now Box Concerto Number in D Minor. 1.1768 0.03154 198 168 25 5
4273 That was the theme from Rocky III. Now here’s IV. 1.1768 0.03072 198 167 27 4
4274 I shall now play my "Uppercut Sonata" until the sound of the bell. 1.1768 0.02987 198 166 29 3
4275 I thought they said, “you are to play-box piano concertos.” 1.1768 0.03072 198 167 27 4
4276 Think outside the box...ing gloves? 1.1767 0.02922 215 181 30 4
4277 Rocky Balboa. Why do you ask? 1.1767 0.02922 215 181 30 4
4278 And now for a somber rendition of T.K.O in C major. 1.1767 0.02922 215 181 30 4
4279 I did hear he played with punch. 1.1767 0.03067 215 183 26 6
4280 Time to knock them out with my Mozart 1.1765 0.03180 187 158 25 4
4281 Of course it looks silly - but you try playing pianissimo on a Hammerklavier 1.1765 0.02873 221 186 31 4
4282 My piano career started out rocky but I'm getting strong now. 1.1765 0.03015 204 172 28 4
4283 Oh, yeah....who's next? I'll give you a sonata right in the Steinway. 1.1765 0.03080 221 189 25 7
4284 Think Henny Youngman had great punch lines? You're in for a real treat! 1.1765 0.03015 204 172 28 4
4285 I will now play Tyson's Pugilist Sonata in B-flat 1.1765 0.02800 221 185 33 3
4286 Simon did this song the easy way. 1.1765 0.02934 204 171 30 3
4287 Well if you didn't like that, you're going to hate the undercard. 1.1765 0.03180 187 158 25 4
4288 And for the main event, I'll be performing Concerto no. 3. 1.1765 0.02934 204 171 30 3
4289 Man, they've really run out of ideas for new Rocky movies 1.1765 0.03094 204 173 26 5
4290 I'm playing my, " Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee," song. 1.1765 0.03171 204 174 24 6
4291 Since my accompanist has fled the building, there will be no dueling pianos tonight. 1.1765 0.03012 221 188 27 6
4292 Now for my favorite Boxthoven Sonata. 1.1765 0.02726 221 184 35 2
4293 I will now pound out my latest opus. 1.1765 0.02873 221 186 31 4
4294 I want my manicure to last until I give the performance. 1.1762 0.02755 227 190 34 3
4295 When I sing my Alma mater fight song, I don’t want to ,”tickle the ivories.” 1.1762 0.02960 227 193 28 6
4296 And now for my next number--The Fight of the Bumblebees. 1.1762 0.03183 210 180 23 7
4297 Next, I'll pound the ivory for you in my version of--ahem--Rocky's Concerto in D Minor. 1.1762 0.02961 210 177 29 4
4298 And now a little thing I like to call, 'On the Waterfront.' 1.1762 0.03111 210 179 25 6
4299 Thank you. My next song has a real sweet beat. 1.1762 0.02961 210 177 29 4
4300 Well you're all in the mood for a melee, and I've got you feeling alright. 1.1762 0.03203 193 164 24 5
4301 I’d say I have a softer touch than Oscar Peterson. 1.1762 0.03117 193 163 26 4
4302 My new invention makes glissando a snap .... but staccatissimo is impossible. 1.1762 0.03117 193 163 26 4
4303 Oh SRO? I thought they said TKO. 1.1761 0.03397 176 150 21 5
4304 This shouldn’t hurt spectator’s ears! 1.1759 0.02835 216 181 32 3
4305 I didn't ask for these hands, sir. You're the one who bought tickets. 1.1759 0.03140 199 169 25 5
4306 I have to treat my psoriasis during practice. 1.1759 0.03220 199 170 23 6
4307 But, I don't need these to play Wagner . . 1.1758 0.03323 182 155 22 5
4308 Ready for some big block chords? 1.1757 0.03067 222 190 25 7
4309 This next one is called 'Song for My Mother, but also My Father'. 1.1757 0.03000 222 189 27 6
4310 Like this, you always hit the right chords 1.1757 0.02931 222 188 29 5
4311 This next piece is the TV sportscast theme from "The Rumble in the Jungle." 1.1756 0.03157 205 175 24 6
4312 Let me move you with a few "tone clusters". 1.1756 0.03002 205 173 28 4
4313 Betethoven's Symphony No. 5 in C Minor, Op. 67: I. Allegro con brio? SURE! 1.1755 0.03340 188 161 21 6
4314 This is a little piece I created called "All Thumbs". 1.1755 0.03165 188 159 25 4
4315 It's called free jazz. 1.1755 0.03253 188 160 23 5
4316 At this keyboard sits a boxer With a fighter in the wings And he’s wearing the reminders... 1.1754 0.03169 211 181 23 7
4317 I will now play the Muhammad Ali boxing overture with gloves. 1.1754 0.03024 211 179 27 5
4318 The following is `Rhapsody on a Theme of Muhammed Ali' 1.1754 0.03097 211 180 25 6
4319 I call this one, 'Jabba, Jabba, Jabba'. 1.1754 0.02871 211 177 31 3
4320 Excuse me, but it's NOT called ham-fisted! 1.1753 0.03103 194 164 26 4
4321 This one calls for a lots of Fs. 1.1753 0.03270 194 166 22 6
4322 I'm going to float like a butterfly on Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1753 0.03270 194 166 22 6
4323 Folks, welcome to Raging Bulls. Let’s start off tonight with a rousing chorus of I could have been a contender.” 1.1753 0.03015 194 163 28 3
4324 At audience's request, Uppercut Sonata in A Minor. 1.1751 0.02897 217 183 30 4
4325 Tonight we will have 3 rounds of knock out piano sonatas. 1.1750 0.02960 200 168 29 3
4326 And now, the Goldberg variations. 1.1750 0.03044 200 169 27 4
4327 Too early for gloves off? 1.1750 0.03044 200 169 27 4
4328 I'm only playing "The Black Keys" 1.1750 0.03125 200 170 25 5
4329 I thought you wanted me to do interval training. 1.1750 0.03125 200 170 25 5
4330 Please enjoy the next piece in our Mixed Martial Music Series called "Find The Tune". 1.1750 0.03087 240 208 22 10
4331 It keeps my playing punchy. 1.1749 0.02628 223 185 37 1
4332 I plan to finish it. 1.1749 0.03054 223 191 25 7
4333 I'm just punching keys 1.1749 0.03119 183 154 26 3
4334 Please dim that spotlight. I can't see my hands. 1.1748 0.03066 206 175 26 5
4335 I tried to beat the notes, but they kept ringing true. 1.1748 0.03217 206 177 22 7
4336 Good evening. My name is Robert Schumanny Pacquiao. 1.1748 0.02908 206 173 30 3
4337 Now playing the "Clean Up the Government" sonata. 1.1746 0.03149 189 160 25 4
4338 My newest piece is titled Middleweight Bout in Vegas. 1.1746 0.03058 189 159 27 3
4339 All my unfinished symphony needs is for me to complete the punch list. 1.1745 0.03011 212 180 27 5
4340 Alright, I’ll stick to chords! 1.1745 0.02858 212 178 31 3
4341 My next number is a real knock-out song. 1.1745 0.03084 212 181 25 6
4342 My next song is a favorite by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.1745 0.03084 212 181 25 6
4343 This next piece is called: "Alex Jones in C Minor". 1.1745 0.03294 212 184 19 9
4344 E sharp is way off 1.1745 0.03294 212 184 19 9
4345 My biggest inspiration? Bach, sir. 1.1745 0.03361 212 185 17 10
4346 Cut me, Maestro. 1.1745 0.03011 212 180 27 5
4347 And now, my rendition of Rock'em Sock'em Staccato 1.1745 0.02935 212 179 29 4
4348 How about something by Choppin'? 1.1744 0.03172 195 166 24 5
4349 Who wants to hear Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer ? 1.1744 0.03255 195 167 22 6
4350 Hum a few bars, I think I know that one ! 1.1744 0.03088 195 165 26 4
4351 In the clearing stands a boxer... 1.1744 0.03088 195 165 26 4
4352 Ladies and Gentlemen, Rocky Beethoven. 1.1743 0.03097 218 187 24 7
4353 This next tune appears on the boxed-set anthology of my greatest hits. 1.1743 0.03097 218 187 24 7
4354 I call it 'Sonata Your Day' in the key of Ouch. 1.1743 0.03028 218 186 26 6
4355 Box me Amadeus 1.1741 0.03267 201 173 21 7
4356 I've Got Blisters on My Fingers 1.1741 0.03267 201 173 21 7
4357 Are you sure this will get me a hit? 1.1739 0.03173 230 200 20 10
4358 And now I will play, what I call, "The Two Note Handy". 1.1739 0.02989 230 197 26 7
4359 And now, Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2, played backwards! 1.1739 0.02975 207 175 28 4
4360 Will you ring da bell? 1.1739 0.02813 207 173 32 2
4361 And now my favorite request, the "Knockout" in B Major! 1.1739 0.02895 207 174 30 3
4362 What! I was to train Bach's way, not box way? 1.1739 0.02813 207 173 32 2
4363 And now,Box Piano Concerto in D Minor. 1.1739 0.03203 207 178 22 7
4364 1st note is a K.O.! 1.1737 0.03142 213 183 23 7
4365 My next number is what I call The Butterfly and the Bee. Flying and Stinging are my favorite parts. Enjoy!" 1.1737 0.03280 213 185 19 9
4366 This next selection should make you feel a little punchy. 1.1737 0.03222 190 162 23 5
4367 Fight me. In B minor. 1.1735 0.02799 219 184 32 3
4368 Any other comments on my Mozart? 1.1735 0.02945 219 186 28 5
4369 Can you be allergic to ivory? 1.1735 0.02799 219 184 32 3
4370 And now, Chopin Nocturnes, punched up. 1.1735 0.02873 219 185 30 4
4371 Now let’s just lay back with the smooth ‘n’ easy sound of Chuck Wepner. 1.1735 0.03157 196 167 24 5
4372 I took off my white gloves for the encore: 'Tribute to Liberace 1.1733 0.02755 225 189 33 3
4373 Without your hands and wrists you have no career, so I always keep them safe! 1.1733 0.02895 225 191 29 5
4374 I’m ready to do battle with this Beethoven piano concerto! 1.1733 0.02682 225 188 35 2
4375 And now we begin the "Rocky" Concerto No. 4 in G Major. 1.1733 0.03175 202 173 23 6
4376 How else do you expect me to play “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.1733 0.02933 202 170 29 3
4377 The key to this fight is... 1.1733 0.03175 202 173 23 6
4378 Last night, my anxiety dreams reached crescendo level. 1.1731 0.03039 208 177 26 5
4379 He Was shooting for a knockout performance after all 1.1731 0.02962 208 176 28 4
4380 Join in while I play a Bach-Sing Along. 1.1730 0.03088 185 156 26 3
4381 This next original tune is featured on my CD box set. 1.1729 0.03057 214 183 25 6
4382 Oh, it saves my fingers for the performance. 1.1729 0.02674 214 178 35 1
4383 It's okay. I'm a keyboard genius. 1.1728 0.03206 191 163 23 5
4384 And now, the butterfly and bee concerto..... 1.1728 0.03119 191 162 25 4
4385 Mama Said Knock You Out in E Flat Major... 1.1728 0.03206 191 163 23 5
4386 Everything about this next piece reflects my mid career change jitters... 1.1728 0.03206 191 163 23 5
4387 This one has too many sharps 1.1727 0.02933 220 187 28 5
4388 This may sound a little off-key. I just got back from the gym. 1.1726 0.03059 197 167 26 4
4389 For my next number: Here's Conti's Theme from "Rocky." 1.1726 0.03224 197 169 22 6
4390 I can't feel my hands! 1.1726 0.03224 197 169 22 6
4391 The late pianist was known for his punchy style on the keys. 1.1726 0.03059 197 167 26 4
4392 Next, I will play possum. 1.1726 0.03303 197 170 20 7
4393 And now, I will play “Flight of the Ostrich.” 1.1726 0.02883 226 192 29 5
4394 Now, a prelude to Beethoven's Fifth! 1.1724 0.03083 203 173 25 5
4395 And now my rendition of “Hittin’ on the Keys.” 1.1723 0.02791 238 202 31 5
4396 I've heard of tickling the ivories, but punching the ebonies? 1.1722 0.02949 209 177 28 4
4397 And now, as a demonstration of my virtuosity, listen to this! 1.1722 0.02949 209 177 28 4
4398 Can I call Sarah Sanders or Sean Spicer for advice? 1.1722 0.03174 209 180 22 7
4399 My next piece is called, "Kapow!" 1.1722 0.02870 209 176 30 3
4400 I'm afraid this piece requires one to pound the keys. 1.1722 0.03034 180 151 27 2
4401 The conductor was afraid I would play off beat 1.1722 0.03034 180 151 27 2
4402 My first selection is by Bouthoven 1.1721 0.03044 215 184 25 6
4403 Do I use a left hook or a right cross? 1.1721 0.02744 215 180 33 2
4404 And now for your listening plesaure, I will play the theme from "Rocky 1.1721 0.02898 215 182 29 4
4405 A pugilists worst nightmare 1.1721 0.03044 215 184 25 6
4406 It's really hard for me to play the piano because my hands are in boxing gloves. 1.1721 0.03184 215 186 21 8
4407 Still not as bad as the time I entered that high-heel race. 1.1721 0.02822 215 181 31 3
4408 Concerto No 5 in Knoch'em flat by Ludwig van Beatonthem 1.1720 0.03166 186 158 24 4
4409 Oh, come on! This is how the original piece was written! 1.1720 0.03166 186 158 24 4
4410 Gives me that soft touch. 1.1719 0.02849 221 187 30 4
4411 I’ve been feeling a bit punchy lately 1.1719 0.02920 221 188 28 5
4412 {"This has a high degree of difficulty." 1.1719 0.02828 192 160 31 1
4413 It was another knockout performance by Philip! 1.1718 0.02803 227 192 31 4
4414 I will now play Box Piano Concerto in F Minor 1.1717 0.02959 198 167 28 3
4415 As a gentleman, I refuse to take my gloves off. 1.1716 0.02989 204 173 27 4
4416 For my next selection: Chopstick 1.1716 0.02989 204 173 27 4
4417 Please,no requests for Chopsticks. 1.1714 0.02857 210 177 30 3
4418 Seriously, I'm a lover not a fighter. 1.1713 0.02732 216 181 33 2
4419 All of the greats are dead, so I'm not taking any chances. 1.1713 0.02810 216 182 31 3
4420 And for my next bout: First performed by the legendary Queen.. 1.1713 0.03031 216 185 25 6
4421 I need a tuning. 1.1711 0.02962 187 157 28 2
4422 Now for the knock out blow! 1.1711 0.03151 187 159 24 4
4423 Play to win what? 1.1711 0.02860 228 194 29 5
4424 Wait, you asked if I could play "mitten on the keys", right? 1.1710 0.02909 193 162 29 2
4425 My wife never wanted me to wake the kids. 1.1710 0.02815 193 161 31 1
4426 This next one is Rocky Manoff’s Prelude in C Minor. 1.1710 0.03259 193 166 21 6
4427 When you have to perform Mozart at 8 but fight in the ring at 9. 1.1709 0.02941 234 201 26 7
4428 I just hate playing with cold hands. 1.1709 0.02814 234 199 30 5
4429 I'm the first boxer to perform in Carnegie Hall. 1.1709 0.03113 199 170 24 5
4430 And now, my rendition of Survivor's "Eye Of The Tiger" 1.1709 0.02946 199 168 28 3
4431 What happens after the glissando? 1.1709 0.03113 199 170 24 5
4432 By popular request -- the Butterfly and Bee Sonata in A sharp major" 1.1708 0.02832 240 205 29 6
4433 Round 13 1.1707 0.03281 205 178 19 8
4434 I am not all thumbs and I'm here to prove it! 1.1707 0.03055 205 175 25 5
4435 LET’s Let’s let’s GET Get get READY Ready ready TO To to BACH Bach bach. 1.1707 0.02846 246 211 28 7
4436 I was hoping for a dissonant sound. 1.1707 0.03055 205 175 25 5
4437 I play as a butterfly and sting like a bee! 1.1706 0.02999 211 180 26 5
4438 I just punch, the lid falls BINGO ! CANON SHOT 1.1706 0.02999 211 180 26 5
4439 And now, the Battlt Hymn of the Boxer Rebellion! 1.1706 0.02923 211 179 28 4
4440 Contemporary music these days... 1.1705 0.02946 217 185 27 5
4441 I've been told this next piece is a real gut punch. 1.1705 0.02873 217 184 29 4
4442 ... and my next piece is entitled 'Banging on Keys with Boxing Gloves'... in D minor 1.1705 0.02873 217 184 29 4
4443 One more thing, I majored in Sociology. 1.1704 0.03098 223 193 22 8
4444 And now, a little something I call, 'Rap City in Two'. 1.1703 0.03384 182 157 19 6
4445 I call thith nextht number "Down Goeth Frathier." 1.1703 0.02710 229 193 33 3
4446 And now, I will take on Bach’s Canon. 1.1702 0.03135 188 160 24 4
4447 Now, who'd like to hear some Simon and Garfunkel? 1.1701 0.03160 194 166 23 5
4448 I don’t care if Streisand loves The Main Event, I’m never playing it agaiin. 1.1701 0.03160 194 166 23 5
4449 I call this "Adrian" 1.1700 0.02932 200 169 28 3
4450 DUM DUM DUM DUM... 1.1700 0.03017 200 170 26 4
4451 I think these are very effective in subduing the percussion expression of Mozart's compositions for harpsichord. 1.1700 0.02932 200 169 28 3
4452 I'm going to belt out the latest showstopper..... 1.1700 0.02845 200 168 30 2
4453 I know you like immersive experiences, but isn't this a bit much for playing the Rocky theme song? 1.1700 0.03017 200 170 26 4
4454 I can't land the hook 1.1700 0.03099 200 171 24 5
4455 Do I look like Tom Hanks? 1.1700 0.03017 200 170 26 4
4456 And now....my homage to Simon and Garfunkel. 1.1699 0.02962 206 175 27 4
4457 Next, “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” 1.1699 0.03041 206 176 25 5
4458 'Melancholy Baby' a la Charles Ives? No problem. 1.1699 0.02962 206 175 27 4
4459 Yo, Adrian! It's me, Rocky. I don’t think I can beat this guy. 1.1699 0.02962 206 175 27 4
4460 Pugalistic Punching Music by Steve Reich 1.1698 0.03060 212 182 24 6
4461 My next piece will be Piano Fighter by Warren Zevon. 1.1698 0.02986 212 181 26 5
4462 And now I'd like to play for you the opening bars of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. 1.1698 0.03203 212 184 20 8
4463 This piece will be played in fourths. 1.1697 0.03143 218 189 21 8
4464 And now, “Fight for Your Right” 1.1697 0.02861 218 185 29 4
4465 Let’s get ready to Tinkle! 1.1697 0.02934 218 186 27 5
4466 Its suposed to Sound like that 1.1697 0.02934 218 186 27 5
4467 And now, from my "Pugilist's Promenade," . . . 1.1697 0.03005 218 187 25 6
4468 So, who wished for "Eye of the tiger"? 1.1696 0.02742 224 189 32 3
4469 No, this is a composition by Beathoven 1.1696 0.02884 224 191 28 5
4470 I shook up the world! I shook up the world, by playing Shostakovich! 1.1696 0.03020 224 193 24 7
4471 I can give you Hits or a can give you punches 1.1696 0.03108 171 144 25 2
4472 For my next number, I will pound out Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Blue.' 1.1692 0.02972 195 165 27 3
4473 Every tenth concert I play for the folks in the back seats. For those of you with better tickets, I quote On The Waterfront: 'This ain't your night' 1.1692 0.03060 195 166 25 4
4474 Saturday Nite’s alright for fighting 1.1692 0.03060 195 166 25 4
4475 That’s it, I’ve warned you before, get that light off me or I’ll.... 1.1692 0.02919 201 170 28 3
4476 And now, Liszt in a clinch. 1.1692 0.02919 201 170 28 3
4477 You may remember me from the orchestra for “Rocky” on Broadway. 1.1692 0.03164 201 173 22 6
4478 And now, I'll knock out "It Don't Mean A Thing." 1.1691 0.03027 207 177 25 5
4479 And now, a short tone poem by Floyd Mayweather... 1.1691 0.02949 207 176 27 4
4480 And now, the Tyson Piano Sonata in B flat major. 1.1691 0.03027 207 177 25 5
4481 Prepare yourselves for an eight count knockout. 1.1691 0.02785 207 174 31 2
4482 That last one was by Chopin. And now, a piece by Punchin. 1.1691 0.03027 207 177 25 5
4483 Sorry, my trainer just quit. 1.1691 0.02868 207 175 29 3
4484 Drink up, everyone! The next 15 rounds are on me." LockaBlocka2018@gmail.co 1.1691 0.03251 207 180 19 8
4485 My next number will be a medley from Punch Drunk Love. 1.1691 0.03027 207 177 25 5
4486 The next few songs are a touch more mellow, softer.... 1.1691 0.02868 207 175 29 3
4487 This next number will be a "mash-up" of Mozart vs Eminem 1.1690 0.02973 213 182 26 5
4488 'Hard to tickle the ivories with these puppies." 1.1690 0.03047 213 183 24 6
4489 For my encore, Thumbsticks. 1.1690 0.02898 213 181 28 4
4490 No, I'm not cancelled. 1.1690 0.02820 213 180 30 3
4491 And now Piano Concerto for the Old One Two. 1.1690 0.02973 213 182 26 5
4492 And now, for your listening enjoyment, my new pie.ce, which I call "Etude: for Boxing Day" 1.1690 0.02973 213 182 26 5
4493 Sorry, it’s not tuned... 1.1689 0.02922 219 187 27 5
4494 My signature composition, 'Hand in Glove, Knock Wood.' Enjoy! 1.1689 0.02992 219 188 25 6
4495 Up next, my biggest hit. It’s a knockout! 1.1689 0.02774 219 185 31 3
4496 Impetigo,mates. 1.1689 0.02941 225 193 26 6
4497 And now, a piece I call Rocky-maninov II. 1.1688 0.02906 237 204 26 7
4498 And now for my own exuberant interpretation of "Eye of the Tiger" 1.1684 0.03193 190 163 22 5
4499 I shall now perform Rachmaninoff's Concerto No. 3, followed by a piece of my own composition, Lionel's one-two. 1.1684 0.03014 190 161 26 3
4500 And then I wrote my next big hit, 1.1684 0.03130 196 168 23 5
4501 Looking out on the crowd, I think I may have hit the wrong note. 1.1684 0.02776 196 164 31 1
4502 Then . . with his next Indictment Rhapsody . . it was time to take off the gloves. Notice the developed motifs . . the supporting intricacies . . .No more sparring, as it were . . 1.1684 0.02958 196 166 27 3
4503 And now my newest composition: "Crawl of the Sloth" 1.1684 0.03130 196 168 23 5
4504 Which round are we up to my good sir? 1.1683 0.03070 202 173 24 5
4505 It is the sweet art. 1.1683 0.02989 202 172 26 4
4506 Stop pounding on the keys! 1.1683 0.03164 208 180 21 7
4507 I will now play 'Chopsticks' in the key of D sharp minor. 1.1683 0.02856 208 176 29 3
4508 I’m concerned the minor fall will be misconstrued as taking a dive. 1.1683 0.02856 208 176 29 3
4509 Rachmaninoff. 1.1683 0.02936 208 177 27 4
4510 Oh...I thought we were doing Ravel's 'Bolero". 1.1683 0.03014 208 178 25 5
4511 He dreams of the days when audiences just wanted their money back... 1.1682 0.03105 214 185 22 7
4512 You actually thought this might sound good? 1.1682 0.02763 220 186 31 3
4513 Please vocalize loudly on my behalf while I bang this out. 1.1682 0.02763 220 186 31 3
4514 Just plunking out an idea for a Rocky 9 theme. 1.1681 0.02720 226 191 32 3
4515 I will now attempt the Minute Waltz 1.1676 0.03313 179 154 20 5
4516 The critics say I punch out the melodic line. 1.1676 0.03118 179 152 24 3
4517 Tommasini said one hand dominated too much, but I forgot which one. 1.1675 0.02944 197 167 27 3
4518 Affection for this next little number was the only other thing in common betwixt Rocky Marciano, Rocky Balboa, and Rocky the Flying Squirrel.” 1.1675 0.03115 197 169 23 5
4519 The gig economy has been very confusing to him 1.1675 0.02855 197 166 29 2
4520 ...they increase the bass response. 1.1675 0.02892 203 172 28 3
4521 I shall play for you Muhammed Ali's Piano Concerto in B-Flat. 1.1675 0.02923 209 178 27 4
4522 I’ve got a hand modeling gig tomorrow morning! 1.1675 0.02923 209 178 27 4
4523 To conclude our selection of Simon & Garfunkel Classics, I present "The Boxer." 1.1675 0.03001 209 179 25 5
4524 Whateya mean, 'go to my corner?'What round are we in? 1.1675 0.02843 209 177 29 3
4525 Playing Country Music for Your Pleasure 1.1675 0.03150 209 181 21 7
4526 Let's get ready to risolutooooooooooooooo! 1.1674 0.03020 215 185 24 6
4527 And now for my Chopin. 1.1674 0.02947 215 184 26 5
4528 And now, the American premiere of Chopin’s early Black-Eye Etude. 1.1674 0.02796 215 182 30 3
4529 I'm all thumbs, which works for Eye of the Tiger. 1.1674 0.02796 215 182 30 3
4530 Hey! YOU requested a soft glove song... 1.1674 0.02873 215 183 28 4
4531 I can’t fight this feeling anymore. I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for... 1.1674 0.02873 215 183 28 4
4532 I'm going to treat this next composition with kid gloves. 1.1674 0.03103 221 192 21 8
4533 I was told "the gloves won't come off" Chris Krusa 1.1674 0.02598 221 185 35 1
4534 I just don't hit the keys... I hit them like a pro. 1.1674 0.02825 221 188 29 4
4535 I shall now perform my rendition of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.1674 0.02825 221 188 29 4
4536 Cowell or Bartok? 1.1674 0.02967 221 190 25 6
4537 My agent asked me to perform something more inside the box. 1.1674 0.02917 227 195 26 6
4538 Jabs aren't as effective on the piano. 1.1667 0.03017 198 169 25 4
4539 Next I shall play "Music Dance Boxer". 1.1667 0.03411 192 168 16 8
4540 I will now play Chopin's sonata for boxing gloves. 1.1667 0.02987 210 180 25 5
4541 Charles, I thought you said these gloves would make my hands "float like a butterfly" 1.1667 0.03023 222 192 23 7
4542 I shall now play float like a butterfly, sting like a bee 1.1667 0.03017 198 169 25 4
4543 What’s wrong? I like to punch the keys. 1.1667 0.03101 198 170 23 5
4544 "In my younger years, I could blend the fourth movement with the fourth round." 1.1667 0.02784 216 183 30 3
4545 I am not yet prepared to "take the gloves off". 1.1667 0.02831 210 178 29 3
4546 And for my next number, Sonata For Boxing Day 1.1667 0.03042 204 175 24 5
4547 Flight of the Bumblebee? Come on, someone request a real challenge. 1.1667 0.02885 222 190 27 5
4548 And now Eye of the Tiger in C minor 1.1667 0.03017 198 169 25 4
4549 my next number is entitled: discordance is just frame of mind 1.1667 0.02985 192 163 26 3
4550 I'm not sure that concert pianists NEED a handicap system. 1.1667 0.03000 180 152 26 2
4551 I call this next number, "Fighting With My Inner Critic," in D minor. 1.1667 0.02931 198 168 27 3
4552 Sorry. I can't play with myself. 1.1667 0.02784 216 183 30 3
4553 And now, my version of "Eye of the Tiger." 1.1667 0.02910 210 179 27 4
4554 Next, I'll play the Moonlight, er Moonfight Sonata 1.1667 0.02665 210 176 33 1
4555 Could you stop coughing? You’re ruining my concentration. 1.1659 0.02757 229 195 30 4
4556 Maybe no one will notice 1.1659 0.02615 229 193 34 2
4557 Oh! I prepared for the wrong event! 1.1659 0.02826 229 196 28 5
4558 Did I hear a request for "Mama Said Knock You Out?" 1.1659 0.02802 223 190 29 4
4559 My final selection is a tribute to Glenn Gould: Box 'Goldberg Variations'. 1.1659 0.02873 223 191 27 5
4560 Standing in for Paul Simon tonight....George Foreman! 1.1659 0.03065 217 188 22 7
4561 This next one goes out to The Enemy of the People. 1.1659 0.03065 217 188 22 7
4562 Hey Joan can we wrap up the show I got noses and keys to break 1.1659 0.02772 217 184 30 3
4563 Is there a Corner Man in the House? 1.1659 0.02818 211 179 29 3
4564 Welcome to the third concert in our series, Beethoven’s Great Beat-Downs! Bill Hunter, Plymouth, MA 1.1659 0.02737 211 178 31 2
4565 And now, my tribute to Liberace. 1.1659 0.03049 211 182 23 6
4566 And now from "The Suite Science..." 1.1659 0.02897 211 180 27 4
4567 This is not a piano. It is a music box. 1.1658 0.03086 199 171 23 5
4568 I'm sorry, say that again ? 1.1658 0.02829 199 168 29 2
4569 Viggo, this isn't working! 1.1658 0.03003 199 170 25 4
4570 Does anyone out there have a spare set of chopsticks? 1.1658 0.02917 199 169 27 3
4571 I shall now play this next composition in the pugilist key. 1.1658 0.02917 199 169 27 3
4572 Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to worry, these are only kid gloves." 1.1658 0.02829 199 168 29 2
4573 Waltzing Matilda? I heard Boxing Matilda? 1.1658 0.02917 199 169 27 3
4574 I will now go Bach to basics. 1.1658 0.03060 193 165 24 4
4575 Next, I will belt out ‘Clair de Lune.’ 1.1658 0.02970 193 164 26 3
4576 I guess they don't like Shostakovich. 1.1658 0.03027 187 159 25 3
4577 Look, if I can do contacts, I can do anything with them. 1.1652 0.02930 224 193 25 6
4578 And now, Round 3 of Tyson versus Holyfield. 1.1651 0.02982 218 188 24 6
4579 Just remember your training: jab, jab, jab. 1.1651 0.02836 218 186 28 4
4580 This week I'm trying out boom-boxing. 1.1651 0.02885 212 181 27 4
4581 A warning to those of you expecting "Chopsticks." 1.1650 0.02854 206 175 28 3
4582 My next selection, Boxers concerto in G minor. 1.1650 0.03015 206 177 24 5
4583 Just getting ready to pound out some New Wave. 1.1650 0.03015 206 177 24 5
4584 With finesse and endurance, the 88s always defeat the challenger 1.1650 0.02904 200 170 27 3
4585 I can only do the one note Samba 1.1649 0.03132 194 167 22 5
4586 The theme to Rocky 12 1.1649 0.03105 188 161 23 4
4587 Give me an A! 1.1644 0.02849 225 193 27 5
4588 Get ready to ruuummmble! 1.1644 0.02918 225 194 25 6
4589 Tonight I will be giving new meaning to "pounding the 88s." 1.1644 0.02969 219 189 24 6
4590 The drummer couldn't make it tonight. 1.1644 0.03039 219 190 22 7
4591 I call this next piece Pugilistic Percussion... 1.1643 0.02872 213 182 27 4
4592 and now a litta numba I pound..it's called Lights Out... 1.1643 0.03095 213 185 21 7
4593 And now I'd like to perform Beethoven's Pugilist's Polka in the key of ABCDEFG. 1.1643 0.02948 213 183 25 5
4594 Do you think that this is worse than two left feet? 1.1643 0.02922 207 177 26 4
4595 In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade... 1.1643 0.03001 207 178 24 5
4596 I used to be able to tickle the ivories real nice. 1.1642 0.03058 201 173 23 5
4597 That was the Moonlight Sonata. Oh, no, wait--it was Frosty the Snowman. 1.1642 0.03058 201 173 23 5
4598 I can't do both at the same time. You gotta problem with that? 1.1642 0.02890 201 171 27 3
4599 Hello? 1.1642 0.03138 201 174 21 6
4600 And for my encore, ‘Variations on Louie Louie!’ 1.1641 0.03031 195 167 24 4
4601 Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you... "Gonna Fly Now" from Rocky's 1st symphony. 1.1641 0.03282 195 170 18 7
4602 Now, for my next act, I will make this piano disappear! 1.1640 0.03090 189 162 23 4
4603 After several failed attempts to entertain his audience, Manuel stumbled upon the key to his knockout set. 1.1640 0.02902 189 160 27 2
4604 I’m a lover, not a fighter! 1.1640 0.03090 189 162 23 4
4605 This is one of my recordings featured in my latest box set of piano pieces. 1.1640 0.02902 189 160 27 2
4606 Especially for fight fans, Chopin's Three Minute waltz. 1.1639 0.03152 183 157 22 4
4607 And now... Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata in D-flat Major 1.1638 0.03116 177 151 23 3
4608 Mr Houdini, are you in the audience? 1.1638 0.02792 232 199 28 5
4609 Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m expecting a standing ovation.... 1.1637 0.02621 226 191 33 2
4610 My next number is a variation of Flight of the Bumblebee; it's called Float of the Butterfly, Sting of the Bumblebee." 1.1637 0.02973 226 196 23 7
4611 If you don't want to hear something awful, somebody better wake me up. 1.1637 0.02973 226 196 23 7
4612 I always told my parents I wanted to fight 1.1637 0.02838 226 194 27 5
4613 Next: The Boxer. Just me. Simon and Garfunkel have the day off. 1.1636 0.02812 220 188 28 4
4614 And this next piece is just brutal on my fingers. 1.1636 0.02738 220 187 30 3
4615 Don’t give up your day job 1.1636 0.02702 214 181 31 2
4616 Now, my homage to 'Eye of the Tiger'. 1.1635 0.02988 208 179 24 5
4617 I will now perform ADRIENNE ! by Rocky. 1.1635 0.02909 208 178 26 4
4618 Smooth Jazz? 1.1634 0.03043 202 174 23 5
4619 What if I need to use the little boys room...? 1.1634 0.02877 202 172 27 3
4620 This adds emphasis to my allargando. 1.1633 0.03185 196 170 20 6
4621 There are those who find Rachmaninoff bombastic. 1.1633 0.03185 196 170 20 6
4622 And for myy next selection,"Punch Drunk Love" 1.1633 0.03016 196 168 24 4
4623 That was my interpretation of the theme from 'Rocky III.' Next, 'Rocky IV.' 1.1633 0.02928 196 167 26 3
4624 Still better than boxing in a top hat. 1.1633 0.02838 196 166 28 2
4625 Yes, but I can play it with a handicap. 1.1632 0.03251 190 165 19 6
4626 I need to protect my assets! 1.1632 0.02982 190 162 25 3
4627 The drummer cancelled so I'll have to keep the beat myself. 1.1629 0.02996 178 151 25 2
4628 Mom says it sounds like I'm playing the bagpipes... 1.1629 0.03013 221 192 22 7
4629 I only prepared for Hot Cross Buns! 1.1629 0.02873 221 190 26 5
4630 Pay per view on PBS— Rocky vs Rachmaninoff 1.1628 0.02923 215 185 25 5
4631 I will now play Fur Elise as Byron Janis 1.1628 0.02996 215 186 23 6
4632 This is a number I like to call, TKO. 1.1628 0.02770 215 183 29 3
4633 Why is Mike Tyson the conductor? 1.1628 0.03068 215 187 21 7
4634 Now, I wrote this piano concerto in honor of "Rocky 4." 1.1627 0.02647 209 176 32 1
4635 Boxeo: A Concerto In Two Fists 1.1627 0.02896 209 179 26 4
4636 And now for my next bout -- I mean Beethoven Sonata. 1.1627 0.02733 209 177 30 2
4637 His Carnegie Hall dreams knocked out in a single piece. 1.1627 0.02733 209 177 30 2
4638 And now, Boom Chuck Chuck in D minor. 1.1626 0.03109 203 176 21 6
4639 I will now demonstrate how to properly beat an antique piano. 1.1626 0.02864 203 173 27 3
4640 I'm protecting my hands before tomorrow's title fight. 1.1626 0.02948 203 174 25 4
4641 For my next number I’ll play ‘Buddy, Can You Spar a Dime’ 1.1626 0.02948 203 174 25 4
4642 Uh, what fresh hell is this?! 1.1624 0.03087 197 170 22 5
4643 Anyone remember the last works of John Coltrane? 1.1624 0.03170 197 171 20 6
4644 It keeps going out of tune. 1.1624 0.02824 197 167 28 2
4645 But the keys are sticky! 1.1624 0.02703 234 200 30 4
4646 This next rhapsody is a real knockout. 1.1623 0.02874 191 162 27 2
4647 I'm just making sure I'm ready for J.K. Simmons when I can't keep tempo. 1.1623 0.02949 228 198 23 7
4648 Ladies and Gentleman, now for B-Flat. 1.1623 0.02600 228 193 33 2
4649 Buxtehude? I thought you said Boxed a Hoodie." 1.1623 0.02674 228 194 31 3
4650 It’s a strong metaphor, but the next piece I wrote really has nothing to do with boxing. 1.1622 0.02861 222 191 26 5
4651 Uhhh...You don’t need boxing gloves to perform the Mephisto Waltz! 1.1620 0.02758 216 184 29 3
4652 See,I can’t play jingle bells one more time. 1.1620 0.02835 216 185 27 4
4653 One mustn't perform this next piece with kid gloves. 1.1619 0.02803 210 179 28 3
4654 And now,"Bang Bang",arranged by Jessie J,Ariana Grande,and Nicki Minaj. 1.1619 0.02803 210 179 28 3
4655 For my next piece, I will play Bacchanale by John Cage 1.1619 0.03112 210 183 20 7
4656 Available on pay-per-view only, this Saturday. 1.1618 0.02851 204 174 27 3
4657 I've never heard 'Eye of the Tiger' performed with such grace before! 1.1618 0.02765 204 173 29 2
4658 I’m Boxing Jim - subbing in for One-Eye-Closed Ron. Hope you like it. 1.1618 0.02935 204 175 25 4
4659 I thought this was a keypunch machine. 1.1618 0.02765 204 173 29 2
4660 It's not really about boxing. 1.1618 0.02676 204 172 31 1
4661 The texture is actually quite nice. 1.1616 0.03073 198 171 22 5
4662 I knocked that song out of the ring. 1.1615 0.02954 192 164 25 3
4663 If I could get someone to cut me I'll begin. 1.1615 0.02860 192 163 27 2
4664 You may have heard this next one ... "Float like a Butterfly, Play like a Cat." 1.1614 0.03054 223 195 20 8
4665 I heard he was all thumbs, but this is ridiculous! 1.1613 0.02898 217 187 25 5
4666 This is my ode to Mike Tyson's brilliant Broadway production, his undisputed truth and all the Tysons who went before him. 1.1613 0.02746 217 185 29 3
4667 Yes, Frère Jacques IS a round in tonight's Ring cycle. 1.1613 0.02898 217 187 25 5
4668 I punch the keys for a crisp sound effect. 1.1613 0.03197 186 161 20 5
4669 Now for the newly discovered Rach 5! 1.1613 0.02810 186 157 28 1
4670 Duel talents?"But,I sing with this one" 1.1613 0.02746 217 185 29 3
4671 No need to go to this extreme. I promise: no more chopsticks! 1.1612 0.02830 242 210 25 7
4672 Albert realized that his post-bout recital lacked finesse, somehow. 1.1611 0.03024 211 183 22 6
4673 And now my rendition of 'Flight of the Bumble Bee...' 1.1611 0.03240 211 186 16 9
4674 I can’t find middle c. 1.1611 0.02791 211 180 28 3
4675 I'm all for tickling the ivories, but this is Chopin's Black Key Étude. 1.1611 0.03168 180 155 21 4
4676 Now I'll play Chopin with my left foot while eating an ear of corn. 1.1610 0.02813 236 204 26 6
4677 I don't hate Beethoven, but I pity the fool! 1.1610 0.03002 205 177 23 5
4678 Now for my encore, “Sting of the Bumblebee.” 1.1610 0.02753 205 174 29 2
4679 Round 1: Classical Beats 1.1610 0.03232 205 180 17 8
4680 I shall now perform John Cage's 4'33", to be filmed by Andy Warhol. 1.1610 0.02921 205 176 25 4
4681 Pugilistic pucussion Opis. 3 1.1610 0.03232 205 180 17 8
4682 I can't play a chord progression, but I can play you a few chords. 1.1608 0.03058 199 172 22 5
4683 And I can play this piece with one hand tied behind my back! 1.1608 0.02888 199 170 26 3
4684 I thought I was invited to a pugilist contest not a pianist concert! 1.1608 0.02888 199 170 26 3
4685 Ladies and gentlemen, my next piece will be the premier of the Ring Cycle as interpreted by Gio Palooka. 1.1607 0.02907 224 194 24 6
4686 These ivories are extra ticklish. 1.1607 0.02907 224 194 24 6
4687 I did not lie on my C.V. 1.1606 0.02735 218 186 29 3
4688 Now I will perform the TKO. 1.1606 0.02656 218 185 31 2
4689 You can,t beat this song 1.1606 0.02656 218 185 31 2
4690 These new Rocky installments keep getting stranger and stranger... 1.1606 0.02885 218 188 25 5
4691 Hey look, Mohammed Ali was a poet. I’m a pianist. 1.1606 0.03097 218 191 19 8
4692 Is there an Ali in the House? 1.1604 0.03181 187 162 20 5
4693 And now, Mama Said Knock You Out No. 12 1.1604 0.03357 187 164 16 7
4694 At least I have clothes on 1.1604 0.02994 187 160 24 3
4695 I’ve got a bad neck rash that I need to scratch. With a collar cone I couldn’t see the keys, but at least with these gloves I can. 1.1604 0.03011 212 184 22 6
4696 And now for the Flight of the Stinging Bumblebees 1.1604 0.02613 212 179 32 1
4697 I don’t want anyone stealing my fingerings. 1.1604 0.02936 212 183 24 5
4698 But I'll bite my fingernails if I take them off! 1.1602 0.03247 181 157 19 5
4699 This next piece will be a box waltz. 1.1602 0.02908 206 177 25 4
4700 I usually like soft music but this guy's a real lightweight. 1.1602 0.02825 206 176 27 3
4701 The staccato notes have been omitted. 1.1602 0.02908 206 177 25 4
4702 Box piano concerto no.1 packed quite a wallop in last night’s concert. 1.1602 0.02847 231 200 25 6
4703 I'm not supposed to punch the keys BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I'M A BOXER >:( 1.1602 0.02712 231 198 29 4
4704 And now..." Mama Said Knock You Out" in E flat. 1.1600 0.02874 200 171 26 3
4705 I jab with the left and hook with the right, correct? 1.1600 0.03126 200 174 20 6
4706 Well, ham isn't kosher. 1.1600 0.02960 200 172 24 4
4707 I guess we know what happened to Rocky after the fight 1.1600 0.03205 200 175 18 7
4708 Do you think we could make an exception to the "all employees must wear boxing gloves at Mike Tyson events" ? 1.1598 0.02945 219 190 23 6
4709 The "Rocky Theme" may be more challenging than anticipated... 1.1598 0.02645 219 186 31 2
4710 Punch and Judy Garland 1.1598 0.02833 194 165 27 2
4711 I’m gonna knock this one out of the park! 1.1598 0.03015 194 167 23 4
4712 I am NOT playing chopsticks tonight! 1.1595 0.02631 232 198 31 3
4713 I like the way it sounds when I play with my boxing gloves on; kinda like I'm crappin' thunder! 1.1594 0.03053 207 180 21 6
4714 Take my piano, please 1.1594 0.03053 207 180 21 6
4715 Hey, put your Vernon Dukes up! 1.1592 0.02773 201 171 28 2
4716 For my encore, I will play a two finger polka. 1.1592 0.03030 201 174 22 5
4717 And now, Liberocky playing “Hey Adrian”. 1.1592 0.02861 201 172 26 3
4718 I will now play Boxing with Beethoven 1.1591 0.02787 220 189 27 4
4719 So, music speaks to me. Last night, it said, killing me softly with this next song. I'll do my best. 1.1591 0.02861 220 190 25 5
4720 Now, "Ebony and Ivory" 1.1591 0.02787 220 189 27 4
4721 And now for a song by Everlast. 1.1590 0.02780 239 207 26 6
4722 Gonna play now 1.1590 0.02819 195 166 27 2
4723 This latest workout fad is not what I signed up for. 1.1590 0.02912 195 167 25 3
4724 Liebestraum No. 3, by Franz Liszt. What's it to ya. 1.1590 0.02819 195 166 27 2
4725 My next piece will be Box Piano Sonata. 1.1589 0.02755 214 183 28 3
4726 And now,I will play the theme from "ROCKY" 1.1589 0.02910 214 185 24 5
4727 To get the desired softened effect,boxing gloves may be used instead of the pedal. 1.1587 0.02869 189 161 26 2
4728 I need these to play all soft like. 1.1587 0.02965 189 162 24 3
4729 I'm thrilled to debut my most recent composition. 'The 2018 Overture in G Major' 1.1587 0.02800 208 178 27 3
4730 What is going on? They didn't tell you I am blind! 1.1587 0.02962 208 180 23 5
4731 So Mr. Tyson, who do you think has a tin ear now? 1.1586 0.02585 227 193 32 2
4732 Life's not a about how hard of a hit you can give... It's about how many keys you hit before the security notices. 1.1586 0.02732 227 195 28 4
4733 I stay in shape by playing a few clusters before taking off the gloves. 1.1585 0.03343 164 142 18 4
4734 This next one will be played in KO. 1.1584 0.02760 202 172 28 2
4735 This next little number, ‘A Bloody Pulp,’ I wrote bare knuckle. 1.1584 0.03097 202 176 20 6
4736 Wrong scenario impresario!! 1.1584 0.02669 202 171 30 1
4737 Watch as I play a mean “Three blind mice.” 1.1584 0.02990 221 193 21 7
4738 Softly may I punch the keys with the theme from "Rocky" fortissimo. 1.1582 0.02975 177 151 24 2
4739 And now for my own composition, "The Ballad of the Boxer: A blow by blow account" 1.1582 0.02806 196 167 27 2
4740 No, I didn't forget anything! 1.1582 0.02806 196 167 27 2
4741 Sir! In the front, you — the Belgian-looking guy. Listen up, because I'm only gonna say this once. I will NOT be playing "White Iverson" again tonight, so you can stop fucking asking, OK? 1.1582 0.03239 196 172 17 7
4742 We're going to need you to play with more punch. 1.1581 0.02580 215 182 32 1
4743 This next piece is Marcatissimo Maximus. 1.1581 0.02897 215 186 24 5
4744 ffuck. Everyone happy with ffortissimo? 1.1579 0.02791 228 197 26 5
4745 This guy's SWINGING. 1.1579 0.02721 228 196 28 4
4746 Der Ring des Nibelungen" by Wagne 1.1579 0.02704 209 178 29 2
4747 Uhh...would it be alright if I just played chopsticks tonight? 1.1579 0.03044 190 164 22 4
4748 Free Bird? Coming right up! 1.1579 0.02869 209 180 25 4
4749 For my next trick... 1.1579 0.02948 209 181 23 5
4750 The Pianist everyone called "Al Thumbs" 1.1579 0.02755 190 161 28 1
4751 Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie 1.1579 0.02788 209 179 27 3
4752 I am trying to punch out two chords at a time. 1.1579 0.02755 190 161 28 1
4753 And I'd like to thank my parents who allowed me to pursue a career in boxing even though they had other ideas. 1.1576 0.03002 203 176 22 5
4754 And then I wrote the theme song for the movie "Rocky". 1.1576 0.03160 203 178 18 7
4755 i call this Tango, Uppercut! 1.1576 0.02835 203 174 26 3
4756 baby, its cold inside 1.1576 0.02920 203 175 24 4
4757 For my next selection,Chopin's 5 Minute Waltz. 1.1574 0.02802 235 204 25 6
4758 They appear to have shrunken in the washer. 1.1574 0.02809 216 186 26 4
4759 I'm saving them for my hand model gig. 1.1574 0.02731 216 185 28 3
4760 Are you sure Beethoven started this way? 1.1574 0.02885 216 187 24 5
4761 I said "piano" not "Marciano." 1.1574 0.02973 197 170 23 4
4762 The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not sing about Fight Club. 1.1574 0.03303 197 174 15 8
4763 I believe I've found the lost chord. 1.1572 0.02848 229 199 24 6
4764 I may be punching above my weight, but I’d really like to perform this next piece for you. 1.1571 0.02692 210 179 29 2
4765 And now a selection of Brahms, in the eye of the tiger. 1.1571 0.02776 210 180 27 3
4766 My hands are fine but I should have worn protective headgear. 1.1571 0.02857 210 181 25 4
4767 And in just a moment, Ladies and Gentleman, the Keys Lorraine will be ready to come out 1.1571 0.02935 210 182 23 5
4768 And now, Mike Tyson’s favorite sonata. 1.1571 0.02857 210 181 25 4
4769 They said I was too heavy a hitter 1.1571 0.02692 210 179 29 2
4770 And now let us proceed to Bach's piano solo. 1.1571 0.03029 191 165 22 4
4771 Ladies and fentlemen, for my next number my rendition of Punch Drunk Love. 1.1570 0.02678 223 191 29 3
4772 And now, the Saved by the Bell Sonata in D, by Ludwig "Kid Zucker" Schteinmetz 1.1570 0.02752 223 192 27 4
4773 It's my way of fighting the good fight. 1.1570 0.02602 223 190 31 2
4774 Lean, mean, piano playing machine. 1.1569 0.02735 204 174 28 2
4775 I play the songs, not the melody I'll sing you a song tonight I'm the piano man and I'll make you feel alright 1.1569 0.02645 204 173 30 1
4776 So this little number’s called, ‘Race for the White House.’ 1.1568 0.02726 236 204 27 5
4777 Who wants to hear a rousing rendition of "On Wisconsin?" 1.1567 0.02720 217 186 28 3
4778 He was a Double Major. 1.1567 0.02640 217 185 30 2
4779 Want to sing a few rounds with me as I play? 1.1566 0.02589 198 167 31 0
4780 Now that the jab is established, I'll work the body a bit. 1.1566 0.02871 198 170 25 3
4781 Good thing this is a talent show. 1.1566 0.03044 198 172 21 5
4782 "Well, it worked for the Keyboard Cat. 1.1564 0.03049 179 154 22 3
4783 Wait... is this some sort of twisted metaphor? I thought it was an étude! 1.1564 0.02681 211 180 29 2
4784 Tonight I thought I’d give beatboxing a try. 1.1564 0.02763 211 181 27 3
4785 The next piece was originally composed by Rocky Marciano. 1.1564 0.02763 211 181 27 3
4786 Is anyone going to unlace them for me? 1.1564 0.02763 211 181 27 3
4787 You try playing with these things on. 1.1562 0.03103 192 167 20 5
4788 Yes, it appears that Round One goes to the piano, but for my next number, I'd like to try a little Tchaikovsky. 1.1562 0.02813 224 194 25 5
4789 Thank you. Thank you. This last piece is for mother who has always observed that my playing leaves her feeling most short-changed in the note-differentiation department. 1.1561 0.02893 205 177 24 4
4790 He’s really taking the battle of the bands serious this year 1.1561 0.02975 205 178 22 5
4791 I don’t think the level playing field is all it’s cracked up to be. 1.1561 0.02975 205 178 22 5
4792 I'm an outside the boxer thinker 1.1561 0.02809 205 176 26 3
4793 For all of you who think I'm all thumbs I present the ''Everlast Serenade.' 1.1561 0.02809 205 176 26 3
4794 This punch line is a trifle too black and white for my liking. 1.1561 0.03110 173 149 21 3
4795 And now C Flat in, you guessed it, C flat. 1.1560 0.02629 218 186 30 2
4796 Now for the Cantus firmus. 1.1560 0.02933 218 190 22 6
4797 My next piece, is a self-composition, which I call 'Political Bipartisanship.' 1.1559 0.03072 186 161 21 4
4798 I just wanted the kids to talk about me. 1.1559 0.03165 186 162 19 5
4799 Swinging tune, Mac. Ease up on the keys. 1.1559 0.03165 186 162 19 5
4800 The add said something about swing, I assumed I'd need punch too. 1.1558 0.02890 231 202 22 7
4801 Boxing Day? Heck, I say boxing play. 1.1558 0.02857 199 171 25 3
4802 Begging your consent, an interpretation of the movement: Pound Me Too. 1.1558 0.02857 199 171 25 3
4803 Concerto “Antifortisimo” 1.1558 0.03030 199 173 21 5
4804 Okay, that's better. 1.1558 0.02945 199 172 23 4
4805 I’m toe tarry I’m not feeling very well tonight, I’m fighting a bad chord. 1.1557 0.02909 212 184 23 5
4806 Simon and Garfunkel require this if you cover the song... 1.1556 0.02502 225 191 33 1
4807 Believe it or not, I can still play 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star! 1.1556 0.02580 225 192 31 2
4808 Are there any chopsticks in the house? 1.1556 0.02871 225 196 23 6
4809 I thought I'd play a little Bach's 1.1554 0.02999 193 167 22 4
4810 And now from the Adam Sandler movie Punch Drunk Love 1.1553 0.02880 206 178 24 4
4811 Perhaps a musical boxing variety show isn’t such a clever idea. 1.1553 0.02848 219 190 24 5
4812 Oh no, where's the men's room? 1.1553 0.02773 219 189 26 4
4813 I am so sorry, darling, but maybe you can finally begin to understand this crippling commitment phobia 1.1553 0.02848 219 190 24 5
4814 And now for Box Well-tempered Clavier 1.1552 0.02879 232 203 22 7
4815 And now for my encore, “The Float of the Bumblebee” 1.1552 0.02879 232 203 22 7
4816 ...And now I'll show you how I gave him good Haydn. 1.1551 0.03150 187 163 19 5
4817 My next piece is titled, 'Float of the Butterfly!' 1.1550 0.03016 200 174 21 5
4818 Theme song from "Rocky" anyone? 1.1549 0.02739 213 183 27 3
4819 Sure it fits me like a glove but the uppercut technique is not working for D#. 1.1549 0.02860 226 197 23 6
4820 It's a living! 1.1548 0.02490 239 204 33 2
4821 This next piece was written by a boxer. 1.1546 0.02894 194 167 24 3
4822 Taking a test for the right to vote—I need to play Dixie. 1.1546 0.02894 194 167 24 3
4823 And now, I will be playing "Gonna Fly Now" in C Major 1.1546 0.02867 207 179 24 4
4824 Does the key of A major have three sharps? 1.1545 0.02607 220 188 30 2
4825 I shall now proceed with " The Lost Chords" 1.1545 0.02607 220 188 30 2
4826 Now we shall box the piano. 1.1545 0.02685 220 189 28 3
4827 I do take requests, as long as they are "Chopsticks." 1.1543 0.03223 188 165 17 6
4828 What have you been smocking? Gloves have nothing to do with it. Really bad piano tuner! 1.1543 0.03134 188 164 19 5
4829 Way easier than my last job. There we had to know how to count all the way up to 10... 1.1543 0.03042 188 163 21 4
4830 When life? Expects more! And you? Disappoint everyone. Mr. President. 1.1543 0.03042 188 163 21 4
4831 I probably can't play Beethoven, but I can play "Row, Row, Row You're Boat". 1.1542 0.03002 201 175 21 5
4832 Try me...try one more time calling me a pianist. 1.1542 0.02831 201 173 25 3
4833 This is how you play those Chris Nolan trailer noises. 1.1542 0.03002 201 175 21 5
4834 BAM BAM BOOM 1.1542 0.02742 201 172 27 2
4835 I’m feeling boxed in, at this stage. 1.1542 0.02728 214 184 27 3
4836 This movement is titled "Scontro non troppo." 1.1542 0.02634 227 195 29 3
4837 My next selection will be "Thinking 'bout you" by Frank Ocean 1.1542 0.02778 227 197 25 5
4838 Wanna hear me play Chopstick ? 1.1542 0.02932 240 212 19 9
4839 I still need to crack my knuckles. 1.1538 0.02599 208 177 30 1
4840 I said "A box for the recital." 1.1538 0.02793 182 155 26 1
4841 And you attack a new piece. 1.1538 0.03013 208 182 20 6
4842 Who said play it again Rocky 1.1538 0.03236 208 185 14 9
4843 And now, the "Concerto Grosso Mosso" by Spinks. 1.1538 0.02506 247 212 32 3
4844 And now for box prelude in C Major. 1.1538 0.03058 195 170 20 5
4845 Will somebody please turn up the thermostat, so I can take these off? Michael Rogness, St. Paul MN 1.1535 0.02624 228 196 29 3
4846 I feel as if I'm punching the keys. 1.1535 0.02871 215 187 23 5
4847 It’s easier than chopsticks. 1.1535 0.02795 215 186 25 4
4848 *I forgot my pants* 1.1535 0.02871 215 187 23 5
4849 Ruckus, please. 1.1535 0.02818 202 174 25 3
4850 When I dreamed of being a key punch operator I never dreamed there would be an audience. 1.1535 0.02904 202 175 23 4
4851 Unfortunately, the lessons omitted certain key fundamentals. 1.1534 0.03118 189 165 19 5
4852 No, really --- "Man, what are you doing here ?!" 1.1534 0.03294 189 167 15 7
4853 Hope you enjoy my latest composition. I call it 'Noise'."__% 1.1534 0.03027 189 164 21 4
4854 My percussion teacher recommends an eclectic approach to piano playing. 1.1532 0.02585 222 190 30 2
4855 Box seats at the matinee. 1.1532 0.02738 222 192 26 4
4856 Somebody doesn’t like the way I play. 1.1532 0.02812 222 193 24 5
4857 And now, a rendition of my favorite Skrillex song 1.1531 0.02999 209 183 20 6
4858 I wrote this next song for all of the Pianist-Pugilists out there. It'll knock your socks off! 1.1531 0.02774 196 168 26 2
4859 You mean starring in ROCKY wasn't enough??? 1.1530 0.03182 183 160 18 5
4860 Pounding the keys is the only way to play Boxx 1.1528 0.02824 229 200 23 6
4861 Oh my!!!! Where do I begin. From right to my left or left to my right. 1.1528 0.02623 216 185 29 2
4862 I was going to take my gloves off and let you know how I really felt, but this is Carnegie Hall, isn't it? 1.1528 0.02783 216 187 25 4
4863 T-K-PianO 1.1528 0.02859 216 188 23 5
4864 Now I'm going to punch the keys to Eye of the Tiger 1.1527 0.02891 203 176 23 4
4865 These gloves came as a boxed set! 1.1527 0.02805 203 175 25 3
4866 And now. The Levine variations by Cardi B. 1.1527 0.02717 203 174 27 2
4867 I used to be a real "hands on" type of guy. 1.1527 0.02805 203 175 25 3
4868 On the scales at 300lbs... 1.1527 0.03055 203 178 19 6
4869 “This next tune is likely to punch out your Likes.” 1.1526 0.02821 190 163 25 2
4870 Baby, don't get hooked on me! 1.1525 0.02652 223 192 28 3
4871 Just tryin' to punch-up Shcumann's Piano Concerto Op. 54 1.1525 0.02727 223 193 26 4
4872 I can't even do "Chopsticks" like this. 1.1524 0.02663 210 180 28 2
4873 We here at he Music Box have added something new! 1.1524 0.02908 210 183 22 5
4874 Welcome to the new Two Note Piano!! 1.1524 0.02747 210 181 26 3
4875 And now..”Eye of the Tiger Symphony No. 12” by Beat-hoven 1.1523 0.03114 197 173 18 6
4876 Sorry, my German is pretty bad, I thought they told me to get ready for Beat Often. 1.1523 0.03029 197 172 20 5
4877 Do you mind if it's just the Minute Waltz? 1.1523 0.02761 197 169 26 2
4878 For my next piece, I shall play a ten roundelay. 1.1522 0.03165 184 161 18 5
4879 For tonight's encore, I will play for you the "Theme Song from Rocky" by composer Bill Conti. 1.1522 0.02870 184 158 24 2
4880 Sing us a song Cinderella man! Sing us a song tonight 1.1520 0.02792 204 176 25 3
4881 I thought they said grand championship, not grand piano. 1.1520 0.02704 204 175 27 2
4882 How about a duet? 1.1520 0.02792 204 176 25 3
4883 And now I will bang your out a few of my favorite tunes for you 1.1520 0.02704 204 175 27 2
4884 Hey Dad this is my dream! 1.1520 0.02878 204 177 23 4
4885 I need a volunteer from the audience to hold open the piano while I work the inside. 1.1520 0.02704 204 175 27 2
4886 And now I would like to do a little thing I wrote called bopsticks 1.1518 0.02707 191 163 27 1
4887 My next piece is Mozart's Sonata in B flatten major. 1.1518 0.02997 191 166 21 4
4888 Yes I can see how piano and boxing can sound the same. 1.1518 0.02904 191 165 23 3
4889 Could you kill the lights? you aren't gonna want to hear or see this." 1.1518 0.02997 191 166 21 4
4890 This is the welterweight performance of the Right Hook Overture 1.1518 0.02716 224 194 26 4
4891 Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together for Mr. Piano Man! 1.1517 0.02895 211 184 22 5
4892 Real champions are always ready for a knockout performance whether in the ring or at the player piano. 1.1517 0.02895 211 184 22 5
4893 I call it a "boxerto"! 1.1515 0.02664 231 200 27 4
4894 Play Rocky for me. 1.1514 0.02759 218 189 25 4
4895 That sonata is included in my remastered box set. 1.1514 0.02681 218 188 27 3
4896 The proclivities of my Father have nothing to do with this! 1.1514 0.03055 185 161 20 4
4897 Yes, my rendition of the Creed theme song was a little rocky. 1.1514 0.03331 185 164 14 7
4898 From his earliest days Luigi had promised, ‘Rachmaninov and Marciano!, Rachmaninov and Marciano!’. 1.1514 0.02957 185 160 22 3
4899 And now, Beethoven's 'Boxing Day Concerto No. 4.' 1.1512 0.02780 205 177 25 3
4900 And now for a song by an artist known as "Limp Bizkit." 1.1512 0.02692 205 176 27 2
4901 This captures their attention from the get-go 1.1511 0.02553 225 193 30 2
4902 Now for my next bout, how about mostly Mozart? 1.1511 0.02553 225 193 30 2
4903 But it’s not wearing a mouth guard. 1.1510 0.02982 192 167 21 4
4904 I've been so anxious lately...I think my stage "fight" is getting worse. 1.1510 0.02890 192 166 23 3
4905 I'm not a fan of, Chopsticks. 1.1510 0.02794 192 165 25 2
4906 And now, 'chop-sticks', by Henry's realative, Ray (Boom-Boom) Mancini!" 1.1509 0.02804 212 184 24 4
4907 Can you punch me in? 1.1509 0.02883 212 185 22 5
4908 And next, Rocky's theme in knocked flat. 1.1509 0.02959 212 186 20 6
4909 Now, the Detroit tocatto in the style of Thomas the hitman Hearns. 1.1508 0.02683 179 152 27 0
4910 This isn't right, Mr. Jordan. 1.1508 0.02826 199 172 24 3
4911 Up next is the Pugilist's Overature in D minor 1.1508 0.02826 199 172 24 3
4912 I attack ferociously every piece I play. 1.1508 0.03001 199 174 20 5
4913 This is the next book of Gene Luen Yang: Boxers & Pianists. 1.1508 0.02641 199 170 28 1
4914 I knew I should have stuck with trombone. 1.1508 0.03084 199 175 18 6
4915 I am playing piano while wearing boxing gloves. 1.1505 0.03133 186 163 18 5
4916 Folks, does this strike the right note of middle aged whimsy? 1.1505 0.02942 186 161 22 3
4917 Places, please. 1.1505 0.02680 206 177 27 2
4918 But it's my version of the 'Rocky' theme! 1.1504 0.02693 226 196 26 4
4919 This next one has a knockout one-two-punch! one-two-punch! hook. 1.1503 0.03073 173 150 20 3
4920 I play in broad strokes 1.1503 0.03058 193 169 19 5
4921 They were out of hams. 1.1502 0.02946 213 187 20 6
4922 I'm a classical pianist, yes, but also the next heavyweight champ. 1.1502 0.02711 213 184 26 3
4923 Is this not what it meant when it said the music was hard hitting? 1.1502 0.02642 233 202 27 4
4924 I will now play “Kidney Chopsticks.” 1.1500 0.02735 220 191 25 4
4925 Bobby Short was never asked to play with these, was he? 1.1500 0.02660 240 209 26 5
4926 Round 6, Round 6! 1.1500 0.02579 220 189 29 2
4927 A-major fight ends in defeat. 1.1500 0.02783 180 154 25 1
4928 While difficult, it’s easier than being a defensive back... 1.1498 0.02579 207 177 29 1
4929 Mmmfm fmmmf mffmm fmmfm! 1.1498 0.02755 207 179 25 3
4930 And now Hayden’s symphony 12. The Boxing Symphony 1.1497 0.03024 187 163 20 4
4931 I am trying to avoid the flight of the bumblebee 1.1493 0.02798 221 193 23 5
4932 I play to fight off the blues! 1.1493 0.02724 221 192 25 4
4933 Float like a butterfly, tickle the keys, no one tried harder than self-proclaimed Mozart Ali. 1.1492 0.02982 181 157 21 3
4934 This song goes out to my piano teacher, Miss Lydia Prunkett, who taught me that I can play the piano, even with boxing gloves on. 1.1490 0.02826 208 181 23 4
4935 Everyone get up and dance to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." 1.1490 0.02567 208 178 29 1
4936 And now... a slam dance tune! 1.1490 0.02826 208 181 23 4
4937 I said to book The Black Eyed Peas, not Keys. 1.1490 0.02907 208 182 21 5
4938 Wow, that concerto really packed a punch. 1.1490 0.02826 208 181 23 4
4939 I plan to take off the gloves, if the completion gives any indication that it might be a challenge. 1.1490 0.02742 208 180 25 3
4940 Chopsticks anyone? 1.1488 0.02767 215 187 24 4
4941 Excuse the gloves. I’ve had a falling out with my Fairy Godmother. 1.1487 0.02939 195 170 21 4
4942 As they say, "Float like a butterfly, ring like a key" 1.1487 0.02848 195 169 23 3
4943 This next piece was composed by Harrison Bergeron. 1.1486 0.02558 222 191 29 2
4944 Sorry folks can't play tonight; this stage fight got the best of me. 1.1486 0.02558 222 191 29 2
4945 Do you have a shorter bench? I can’t reach the pedals. 1.1486 0.02636 222 192 27 3
4946 Now I shall play Cage Fight in 4 33’ 1.1485 0.02959 202 177 20 5
4947 The gloves are on... 1.1485 0.02698 202 174 26 2
4948 Soft and smooth gentle with whites and blacks. 1.1485 0.02605 202 173 28 1
4949 Has anyone seen my cut man ? This Concerto is killing me. 1.1485 0.02660 229 199 26 4
4950 Oops! Wrong Job. 1.1483 0.02813 209 182 23 4
4951 And now I shall play the final masterpiece by Trumpelstiltskin. 1.1483 0.02730 209 181 25 3
4952 This is Beethoven's Concerto 1-2 (Jab-Right Cross) 1.1483 0.02645 209 180 27 2
4953 I'm trying to play Spar Spangled Banner 1.1483 0.02730 209 181 25 3
4954 No requests for “Freebird,” lest thee desire a proper pummeling. 1.1483 0.02894 209 183 21 5
4955 Old habits die hard! 1.1481 0.02676 216 187 26 3
4956 The classic piano music box at your service, sir? 1.1481 0.02755 216 188 24 4
4957 I won't be taking any more requests ladies and gentlemen 1.1481 0.02676 216 187 26 3
4958 I know I’m all thumbs, but I can really knock out a great tune! 1.1481 0.02755 216 188 24 4
4959 I'd like to dedicate this next song to Freddie Mercury. 1.1481 0.02833 216 189 22 5
4960 And now, the Michigan Fight song. 1.1481 0.02676 216 187 26 3
4961 the title is Cached Fingering 1.1480 0.02625 223 193 27 3
4962 Once I built a tower, now it's done. Brother, can you spar a dime? 1.1480 0.02775 223 195 23 5
4963 Written by Fisto Pugilist, this is simply entitled...BALBOA." 1.1480 0.02925 196 171 21 4
4964 The key to success is to knock on wood before every performance. 1.1480 0.02741 196 169 25 2
4965 His recital was every bit as staged as a WWE match 1.1480 0.02835 196 170 23 3
4966 A boxer's dream 1.1480 0.02925 196 171 21 4
4967 Sir, the song you are performing is requiem for a fighter; not The Boxer! 1.1480 0.02741 196 169 25 2
4968 I just finished my warm up 1.1478 0.02775 203 176 24 3
4969 I'm here for the keypunch operator position. 1.1478 0.02861 203 177 22 4
4970 And to those critics who said I couldn't beat the Rach 2-- watch. 1.1477 0.02531 237 205 29 3
4971 I can do it by instinct 1.1476 0.02633 210 181 27 2
4972 What? My fingers are cold! 1.1476 0.02801 210 183 23 4
4973 Adrian!! Adrian!! 1.1476 0.02881 210 184 21 5
4974 How does that Rocky tune sound again? 1.1475 0.02744 217 189 24 4
4975 And now, the Multitask prelude composed during the Boxer Rebellion. 1.1474 0.02979 190 166 20 4
4976 Before I formally begin the work, I should like to execute a little soundcheck for those of us in the balconies. 1.1474 0.02979 190 166 20 4
4977 In this corner, three time concerto soloist, the Piano Man, the KO Kid. 1.1473 0.02690 224 195 25 4
4978 It made a fool of me once too often! 1.1473 0.02456 224 192 31 1
4979 How exactly is this supposed to help me win coach? 1.1473 0.02763 224 196 23 5
4980 The next song is 'she's crafty' by the beastie boys 1.1471 0.03013 204 180 18 6
4981 It's heavy metal night. 1.1471 0.02932 204 179 20 5
4982 This one goes out to all the hangry people in the house. 1.1471 0.02673 204 176 26 2
4983 I can’t believe I forgot to take these boxing gloves off. Too late to do it now! Just have to play the piano with boxing gloves. I should have taken them off earlier. 1.1469 0.02868 211 185 21 5
4984 And now ladies and gentlemen, Bach’s Concerto in C major for Two Pianos! 1.1468 0.02489 218 187 30 1
4985 My next number is a real "knockout"! Jeff Manly Toronto, On. 1.1468 0.02955 218 193 18 7
4986 I call this: Flight of The Boxer 1.1468 0.02489 218 187 30 1
4987 I'll be playing the Boxing Ring Cycle. 1.1468 0.02808 218 191 22 5
4988 Ignazio vs. John Cage 1.1468 0.02732 218 190 24 4
4989 my next number is Rocky Rolling with the Punches 1.1467 0.03036 184 161 19 4
4990 I know it looks odd, but just wait for the sound! 1.1467 0.02937 184 160 21 3
4991 Please excuse my playing, but I've recently been declawed. 1.1466 0.03056 191 168 18 5
4992 Tonight I will be performing the classic melodic death metal album "Hot Yoga Farts" by "MetalMurderSexMachine." I thank you for your support of the fine arts. 1.1465 0.02898 198 173 21 4
4993 I apologize in advance. Blame my poison ivy. 1.1463 0.02661 205 177 26 2
4994 They told me to break a leg! 1.1463 0.02749 205 178 24 3
4995 And now for the calming music of Galina Ustvolskaya. 1.1463 0.02661 205 177 26 2
4996 Float like a butterfly, sting like Ali. 1.1463 0.02749 205 178 24 3
4997 And now, Chopin's Polonaise in G flat diminished (doubtful), "The Boxer" 1.1463 0.02661 205 177 26 2
4998 It's better than my last job I had with these; picking flea shit out of black pepper. 1.1461 0.02870 219 193 20 6
4999 I don't remember seeing this in Whiplash! 1.1461 0.02796 219 192 22 5
5000 .... and how the theme from "Rocky" ... 1.1461 0.02992 178 155 20 3
5001 I dunno, my agent said something about 'twinkle toes', boxing, a piano, an audition and I just... Tried to be prepared for anything, 1.1460 0.02593 226 196 27 3
5002 I'd love to play the concerto but I feel all tied up and boxed in. 1.1459 0.02472 233 201 30 2
5003 This movement’s nickname is The Knockout 1.1459 0.02472 233 201 30 2
5004 I'm just playing it how LaMotta would have played it if he had altered Bach's version. 1.1458 0.02759 192 166 24 2
5005 I was classically trained in the "think system". 1.1458 0.02950 192 168 20 4
5006 Hope it's not Prokofiev's 1st or 3rd? 1.1457 0.02795 199 173 23 3
5007 When George heard "break a leg," he took matters into his own hands. 1.1457 0.02884 199 174 21 4
5008 I think you're punching above your weight, Steve. 1.1457 0.02795 199 173 23 3
5009 For my next number: "Flight of the Bumblebees" 1.1457 0.02884 199 174 21 4
5010 My next piece will be a tribute to Erroll Garner 1.1457 0.02702 199 172 25 2
5011 Does anyone here know how to play 'The Boxer'? 1.1456 0.02822 206 180 22 4
5012 hmmmm, 1.1456 0.02985 206 182 18 6
5013 I’ve got a touch of the flu, but I’m fighting through it. 1.1455 0.02764 213 186 23 4
5014 And now for a Bach Suite 1.1455 0.02843 213 187 21 5
5015 Please forgive any inelegance, the repertoire always suffers a bit on December 26th 1.1455 0.02919 213 188 19 6
5016 And, now, the Cannibal Corpse trio sonata. 1.1455 0.02858 220 194 20 6
5017 I need these, I'm playing the "Rocky" theme song! 1.1454 0.02656 227 198 25 4
5018 I signed up for tuxedo boxing, does this piano have anything to do with it? 1.1454 0.02656 227 198 25 4
5019 This one goes out to Harrison Bergeron. 1.1452 0.03005 186 163 19 4
5020 And now for my version of Rachy II...... 1.1452 0.02805 186 161 23 2
5021 I'll play 'row, row your boat once', as my trainer warned I might be KO'd after the first round. 1.1452 0.02700 186 160 25 1
5022 Gonna giv'm the ole 1, 2, 3, 4 1.1451 0.02746 193 167 24 2
5023 I think I'm punching above my weight. 1.1451 0.02542 193 165 28 0
5024 In honor of the tenth anniversary of the Piano Fight Club, I shall play the theme from Rocky in the Italian classical tradition. 1.1451 0.02842 193 168 22 3
5025 I call this piece, Giving My Fingers a Rest, and I hope you all will enjoy this. 1.1451 0.02842 193 168 22 3
5026 And now for my next selection, "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J. 1.1450 0.02782 200 174 23 3
5027 I've been getting really into Henry Cowell and John Cage lately. 1.1450 0.02690 200 173 25 2
5028 And now I will play "On Wisconsin," the Badger's fight song. 1.1450 0.02871 200 175 21 4
5029 Beethoven wrote the next sonata in seven #s. 1.1449 0.02892 207 182 20 5
5030 I play only chopsticks and you will like it 1.1449 0.02671 214 186 25 3
5031 Tea, a drink with jam and bread... That will bring us back to Boom-Boom, Pow-Pow 1.1449 0.02830 214 188 21 5
5032 My next number will be Dwayne Johnson - "The Rock" III 1.1448 0.02697 221 193 24 4
5033 And now, Chopin’s Nocturne in B-flat minor, as interpreted by Keyboard Kat. 1.1448 0.02917 221 196 18 7
5034 I just said I'd be Bach. See sharp, not be flat. Mistake to hire agent instead of trainer. 1.1447 0.02799 235 208 20 7
5035 I could not decide if I wanted to be an athlete or a musician! 1.1443 0.02922 194 170 20 4
5036 Did someone request BeatHoven? 1.1443 0.02857 201 176 21 4
5037 Flight of the bumblebee? 1.1443 0.03107 201 179 15 7
5038 As a former Boy Scout, I am compelled to be a prepared pianist. 1.1442 0.02625 208 180 26 2
5039 If Liberace could do it, so can I, 1.1442 0.02712 208 181 24 3
5040 I will now perform a real knockout of a tune! 1.1442 0.02878 208 183 20 5
5041 Tonight I'm going to play Chopin. 1.1442 0.02797 208 182 22 4
5042 This is a heavyweight piano. I told you I only play Bantam. 1.1442 0.02740 215 188 23 4
5043 If Keith Emmerson could stab his Hammond organ with a knife, why can't I ... 1.1442 0.02740 215 188 23 4
5044 I AM the Greatest, but "Freebird?" Really?? 1.1442 0.02968 215 191 17 7
5045 In lieu of the Squeeze Box, I will now play the Piano Box. 1.1442 0.02490 215 185 29 1
5046 I'm just going to assume I'm not hosting the boxing championship. 1.1441 0.02609 222 193 26 3
5047 And now from my new rap concherto 1.1441 0.02761 222 195 22 5
5048 I'm committed to the lower register. 1.1436 0.02975 188 165 19 4
5049 I'm allergic to bees so I like to wear these when I play Rimsky-Korsakov, 1.1436 0.02997 195 172 18 5
5050 And now, Eye of the Tiger! 1.1436 0.02815 195 170 22 3
5051 Gonna pound these keys like I pound my dick! 1.1436 0.03169 195 174 14 7
5052 And the beat (box) goes on... 1.1436 0.03012 202 179 17 6
5053 Today, I defy Benjamin Franklin's advice to please my critics. 1.1435 0.02524 209 180 28 1
5054 And now, Beethoven's Mmmm%$oonli88ght So?#natta2222222222... 1.1435 0.02945 209 185 18 6
5055 Play Punch Rock! 1.1435 0.02700 209 182 24 3
5056 Be-Bop-A-Lula! 1.1435 0.02647 216 188 25 3
5057 I will now attempt to beat the Für Elise land-speed record set by Sir Chuck Norris. 1.1435 0.02821 223 197 20 6
5058 Ready for the soundtrack for "Boxing Helena." 1.1429 0.02465 231 200 29 2
5059 C'mon people! Let's pump it up! 1.1429 0.02653 203 176 25 2
5060 Unanimous? Another ballad it is. 1.1429 0.02554 217 188 27 2
5061 Procrastination wasn’t working. 1.1429 0.02716 217 190 23 4
5062 Where's the Ring Girl? 1.1429 0.02663 224 196 24 4
5063 Concerto for boxing bouts 1.1429 0.02602 210 182 26 2
5064 What is everyone’s appetite for a black and blue concerto? 1.1429 0.02559 203 175 27 1
5065 Can we turn the heat up? These are treble clefs 1.1429 0.02869 217 192 19 6
5066 ---AND FOR MY NEXT PIECE "THE THUNDERER------" 1.1429 0.03032 182 160 18 4
5067 A concert pianist's bad dream after eating spicy tuna rolls after 9pm 1.1429 0.02853 210 185 20 5
5068 My major in Composition and minor in Method Acting give 'Gonna Fly Now' a real one-two punch. 1.1429 0.02688 210 183 24 3
5069 It's a Balwin 1.1429 0.02916 203 179 19 5
5070 I don't need these to play my College Fight Song. 1.1429 0.02894 196 172 20 4
5071 Beethoven was a bit if a pugilist 1.1429 0.02793 217 191 21 5
5072 For my next number, Chopsticks. 1.1422 0.02455 232 201 29 2
5073 I call this composition 'Sweet Chin Music volume IV' 1.1422 0.02726 225 198 22 5
5074 I have a severe Gershwin allergy. 1.1422 0.02856 218 193 19 6
5075 What do you mean, 'this isn't the glove compartment'? 1.1422 0.02625 218 190 25 3
5076 I think it's safe to assume I've been knocked out. 1.1422 0.02590 211 183 26 2
5077 Um, I don't think this is how you play "chin music"! 1.1422 0.02759 211 185 22 4
5078 Punch punch punch puuuunch. 1.1421 0.03138 197 176 14 7
5079 This is the greatest piano concerto ever!... and I’ll slug anyone who says otherwise! 1.1421 0.02694 197 171 24 2
5080 And now we’d like to play Mike Tyson’s piano concerto in E#, also known as “Fingers? Who needs fingers?” 1.1421 0.02850 190 166 21 3
5081 Hell no, man. 1.1421 0.02850 190 166 21 3
5082 Feel free to join in with the hook. 1.1421 0.02850 190 166 21 3
5083 And now, here’s Wonderwall. 1.1421 0.02946 190 167 19 4
5084 Okay, guys, I promise I won’t play Chopsticks again. 1.1421 0.03039 190 168 17 5
5085 Next, I will play Beethoven - 'Moonlight' Sonata in a new C Stick and Move." 1.1416 0.02520 233 203 27 3
5086 Like Pop always said... "Dance like a dragon flies, and string it all to B." 1.1416 0.02715 226 199 22 5
5087 They want something new and different. 1.1416 0.02786 226 200 20 6
5088 It's suppose to sound better with the new rap music. 1.1416 0.02614 219 191 25 3
5089 What 's the punchline? 1.1415 0.02579 212 184 26 2
5090 This next piece is called, 'The Three-Hundred Pound Kitten's Run'. 1.1415 0.02747 212 186 22 4
5091 I'll be presenting a program of Bach's music. 1.1415 0.02536 205 177 27 1
5092 Ah-oneeeeee....ah-twooooo....ah-threeeee....ah fou 1.1415 0.02629 205 178 25 2
5093 Is this someone's sick idea of a joke? 1.1415 0.02718 205 179 23 3
5094 This ISN’T for the Punch and Judy reboot? 1.1415 0.02718 205 179 23 3
5095 That’s if one is falling on you. But up close and personal, take the gloves off. 1.1414 0.02681 198 172 24 2
5096 I'm the best. I just haven't played yet. 1.1414 0.02634 191 165 25 1
5097 Some of you might not know that as of last midnight the tenets of Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergerson" became law. Therefore, in place of Beethoven's sonata number thirty I present "Chopsticks." 1.1413 0.02688 184 159 24 1
5098 And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, "The Eye of the Tiger." 1.1411 0.02396 241 209 30 2
5099 Be prepared. I'm coming out with a swing. 1.1409 0.02521 220 191 27 2
5100 Chopsticks? Afraid not. A knife and fork please 1.1409 0.02602 220 192 25 3
5101 My next piece is titled "Politically Incorrect" 1.1408 0.02892 213 189 18 6
5102 In keeping with the spirit of the times, I will now play Bach the way Mafia Don governs. 1.1408 0.02815 213 188 20 5
5103 I suppose you want me to play “Eye of the Tiger?” 1.1408 0.02706 206 180 23 3
5104 Are you sure this is how to play Diminuendo? 1.1408 0.02792 206 181 21 4
5105 These heated keyboards make simple ditties quite challenging. 1.1408 0.02617 206 179 25 2
5106 I was afraid there'd be a boxing kangaroo in the audience tonight. 1.1408 0.02706 206 180 23 3
5107 The una corda pedal is malfunctioning. 1.1408 0.02617 206 179 25 2
5108 It's a knockout. If looks could kill, they probably will 1.1407 0.02852 199 175 20 4
5109 For my next number, I'll be playing "Brontosaurus On the Keys". 1.1407 0.02762 199 174 22 3
5110 Dueling Pianos Competition 1.1407 0.02762 199 174 22 3
5111 I don't care what you think,it's comfortable! 1.1406 0.02622 192 166 25 1
5112 Please don't laugh, this is the only way to play lil Xan on piano. 1.1406 0.03009 192 170 17 5
5113 Could somebody please turn down the air conditioning? 1.1404 0.02619 228 200 24 4
5114 I thought they said thunderdome not metronome 1.1404 0.02305 228 196 32 0
5115 And if I hear any snorin' out there I'll play chopsticks with your head. 1.1403 0.02746 221 195 21 5
5116 I auditioned for the kettledrum. 1.1403 0.02591 221 193 25 3
5117 Fighter introduces Gleft. 1.1402 0.02982 164 143 19 2
5118 The Reprise Fighter 1.1402 0.02641 214 187 24 3
5119 I told you, I play hand in gloves... 1.1402 0.02557 214 186 26 2
5120 Requiem for a large harmonica. 1.1401 0.02779 207 182 21 4
5121 Boxing Beethoven! You all ready for this? 1.1401 0.02779 207 182 21 4
5122 I only play Bach's pieces 1.1400 0.02560 200 173 26 1
5123 ...and now, winner by unanimous decision, I will play your request. 1.1400 0.02656 200 174 24 2
5124 Dooby-dooby-doo... 1.1400 0.02839 200 176 20 4
5125 And now, my rendition of the new uncomplicated classical beat 1.1400 0.02839 200 176 20 4
5126 Let's Make the Tune Great Again 1.1399 0.02903 193 170 19 4
5127 And then , at the peak of the crescendo , you take the gloves off and proceed with a gentler finale for ten fingers... 1.1397 0.02716 179 155 23 1
5128 Play to win! 1.1396 0.02581 222 194 25 3
5129 'Chopsticks' is not on tonight's set list. 1.1396 0.02808 222 197 19 6
5130 m now going to play a Chopin mazurka 1.1396 0.02581 222 194 25 3
5131 I wish my brother George Foreman was here." 1.1395 0.02711 215 189 22 4
5132 I'ts a tune up fight. 1.1395 0.02630 215 188 24 3
5133 I should have just majored in Engineering. 1.1394 0.02465 251 220 27 4
5134 One more request for 'Melancholy Baby' and I'll put my dukes up. 1.1394 0.02681 208 182 23 3
5135 And now, so as not to offend anyone...... 1.1394 0.02593 208 181 25 2
5136 Damn it! Not this again," huffed his unimpressed, exasperated subconscious at his mediocre nightmares. 1.1394 0.02593 208 181 25 2
5137 The only issue is that it is untuned. 1.1394 0.02930 208 185 17 6
5138 Which keys should I rubeato? 1.1394 0.02849 208 184 19 5
5139 I gotta right to sing the blues... 1.1394 0.02767 208 183 21 4
5140 Yo Mick, can I go back to chasing the chicken? 1.1393 0.02644 201 175 24 2
5141 Who would like to hear Knock-out? 1.1393 0.02548 201 174 26 1
5142 I always wear gloves when playing a percussion sport. 1.1393 0.02912 201 178 18 5
5143 My closing piece: "Unanimous Ten" 1.1393 0.02736 201 176 22 3
5144 For your holiday enjoyment, we'll be singing 'Jingle Bells 1.1392 0.02795 194 170 21 3
5145 And now, Beethoven's fifth... 1.1390 0.02570 223 195 25 3
5146 And now, "The Minute Atonal Crash-Bang." 1.1389 0.02778 216 191 20 5
5147 This isn’t exactly what I had in mind by the piano needing a tune up! 1.1388 0.02669 209 183 23 3
5148 Can we play it in C major and D major? 1.1386 0.02724 202 177 22 3
5149 He gloats like a baritone, but sings like a chickadee. 1.1386 0.02724 202 177 22 3
5150 I tried tying strings around my fingers to remember the punch lines. 1.1386 0.02813 202 178 20 4
5151 Seriously, I'm trying my best, 1.1385 0.02584 195 169 25 1
5152 It's an eh tu Brute in punch-drunk manner. 1.1385 0.02584 195 169 25 1
5153 My hands get cold! 1.1383 0.02741 188 164 22 2
5154 My next selection is called ‘Gonna Fly Now’ by the great Bill Conti. 1.1382 0.02438 217 188 28 1
5155 for my next selection after the flight and attack of the bumblebees 1.1382 0.02607 217 190 24 3
5156 Chopin and I will not be pleased if maestro's tempo is too slow this evening. 1.1381 0.02480 210 182 27 1
5157 The pitch might sound a bit rocky, as I play wearing these gloves. 1.1381 0.02824 210 186 19 5
5158 If you don't like it, come on up here and fight me. 1.1381 0.02570 210 183 25 2
5159 These are fighting musical notes 1.1381 0.02742 210 185 21 4
5160 Jackson Pollack Rhapsody No. 4 in C Sharp Minor. 1.1381 0.02824 210 186 19 5
5161 You think so? I'm gonna knock 'em dead. 1.1379 0.02525 203 176 26 1
5162 No hands! Pitch Perfect! 1.1378 0.02768 196 172 21 3
5163 So you want to hear "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.1378 0.02768 196 172 21 3
5164 You lied to me! 1.1378 0.02768 196 172 21 3
5165 The sound is sharp, but the piano is flat. 1.1376 0.02622 189 164 24 1
5166 Enrique “The Spanish Pianist” Carrasco plays the music of Lady Gaga. 1.1376 0.02727 189 165 22 2
5167 I 'm just here for free drinks. My twin is the musical one. 1.1376 0.02828 189 166 20 3
5168 I will now play the theme song from the movie - Rocky. 1.1376 0.02727 189 165 22 2
5169 And now my talent offering in this year's WBA welterweight competition 1.1376 0.02926 189 167 18 4
5170 I wrote this one after being clocked by Mike Tyson in the ring. It's called 'Huh?' 1.1374 0.02559 211 184 25 2
5171 He is a germaphobe - won't touch anything without gloves 1.1373 0.02608 204 178 24 2
5172 Jim specialises in all sorts of movements - 5th movements, head movements etc... 1.1372 0.02459 226 197 27 2
5173 This is one of the greatest works of Bach's. 1.1372 0.02538 226 198 25 3
5174 Tonight, I’ll be playing 4’33”. 1.1371 0.02847 197 174 19 4
5175 For mohammed Ali,Sting like a bee and float like a butterfly 1.1371 0.02659 197 172 23 2
5176 Hey Yo Adrian, one more time, I swear just one more time 1.1368 0.02714 190 166 22 2
5177 Nobody knows the troubles I've seen. Nobody knows but Jesus. 1.1368 0.02912 190 168 18 4
5178 And they said I didn't stand a puncher's chance of playing Carnegie Hall. 1.1368 0.02366 212 183 29 0
5179 I thought that you said "Chop On," not Chopin! 1.1368 0.02717 212 187 21 4
5180 Desperate one hit wonder tries again.... 1.1368 0.02634 212 186 23 3
5181 And now, a selection of pieces from Ludwig Von Beathovan, Wolfgang Ama-No Mas Mozart, Johann Sebashing Bach and Giacomo Punchini. 1.1368 0.02696 234 208 20 6
5182 I will now play Bill Conti's 'Gonna Fly Now' 1.1368 0.02627 234 207 22 5
5183 Floating on Lunesta, "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.1366 0.02878 183 161 19 3
5184 This is going to be a real page turner. 1.1366 0.02980 183 162 17 4
5185 ‘Occhio di Tigre’ by Sopravvissuto. 1.1366 0.02686 205 180 22 3
5186 Fly like a bumblebee 1.1366 0.02686 205 180 22 3
5187 Tonight I will differentiate beat from beat 1.1364 0.02492 220 192 26 2
5188 I shall now type a letter to Terpsichore. 1.1364 0.02646 198 173 23 2
5189 ...and in this corner... 1.1364 0.02653 220 194 22 4
5190 I might be nervous for the concert. I had this terrible dream last night... 1.1364 0.02742 198 174 21 3
5191 You listining to D magore engery 1.1362 0.02616 235 208 22 5
5192 This next piece, I call, Rocky Marciano 1.1362 0.02622 213 187 23 3
5193 The gloves help when I play Rachmaninoff— especially when I’m ‘Russian’ it (ha ha). 1.1362 0.02622 213 187 23 3
5194 ..and now I'll play Chopin. 1.1362 0.02448 213 185 27 1
5195 I will now play my own composition called 'Rocky Roll.' 1.1362 0.02448 213 185 27 1
5196 Well it wasn't the first piano performance to put me to sleep 1.1361 0.02700 191 167 22 2
5197 I wear these to beat my meat. 1.1361 0.02897 191 169 18 4
5198 This sonata 1-2-3b-2's movement is a knockout 1.1360 0.02275 228 197 31 0
5199 I'm the typecast for 'Rocky' not 'Liberace'. 1.1359 0.02761 206 182 20 4
5200 Take the gloves off! 1.1359 0.02674 206 181 22 3
5201 And now for my impression of Jake LaMotta - after he retired. 1.1359 0.02648 184 160 23 1
5202 I call this "What's Black and White and Red all Over. 1.1357 0.02563 221 194 24 3
5203 I hate playing ham handed songs and music. 1.1357 0.02729 199 175 21 3
5204 A Heavyweight Music Box 1.1357 0.02729 199 175 21 3
5205 And now for my final selection: Rollin, Rolling, Rolling! 1.1357 0.02634 199 174 23 2
5206 I should like to play my randition of The WilliamTell Overture 1.1357 0.02820 199 176 19 4
5207 Ali's Flur de Punch in A minor. 1.1355 0.02694 214 189 21 4
5208 Next I will play Tchaikovsky's symphony number 1, 2 and left hook 1.1354 0.02429 229 200 27 2
5209 He is incomparable at recognizing its percussive potential. Hilary A. Kaplan Silver Spring, Maryland 1.1353 0.02572 207 181 24 2
5210 And now ladies and gentlemen, Sugar Ray Stravinky's "Knocked Coal Digger," in A Flat Miner. 1.1353 0.02748 207 183 20 4
5211 And now, for the latest by John Cage. It's not a ""Cheap "Imitation". 1.1353 0.02748 207 183 20 4
5212 There's poop in here! 1.1353 0.02994 207 186 14 7
5213 My hero was Harry Houdini.. 1.1353 0.02748 207 183 20 4
5214 Beathoven piano concerto no 5 1.1351 0.02552 222 195 24 3
5215 I call this next piece 'Going HAM.' 1.1350 0.02716 200 176 21 3
5216 I will now play "Fanfare for a Triamphant Presidential Knockout of a Democratic Congress. 1.1350 0.03064 200 180 13 7
5217 Mind if I play with my mitts on? 1.1349 0.02839 215 192 17 6
5218 They call me the rope-a-dope ivory tickler. 1.1349 0.02514 215 188 25 2
5219 Fiddlesticks? Why, sure! 1.1348 0.02571 230 203 23 4
5220 Pound them keys is what I say. 1.1347 0.02674 193 169 22 2
5221 And now for the grand finale, Boxing Boogie Woogie. 1.1345 0.02619 223 197 22 4
5222 This is just my hobby. I made my name by getting in the ring without gloves. 1.1343 0.02609 201 176 23 2
5223 We be ham fisting. Yeah! 1.1343 0.02703 201 177 21 3
5224 'Welcome to Chris Brown in the lounge.' 1.1343 0.02670 216 191 21 4
5225 But this piano goes below the belt. 1.1337 0.02501 202 176 25 1
5226 I call it "The Upright Uppercut" 1.1337 0.02597 202 177 23 2
5227 Maestro, I'm ready. Bring on the concerto! 1.1336 0.02493 217 190 25 2
5228 For my final ringside number I would like to play one of Bach's Sonatas. 1.1336 0.02493 217 190 25 2
5229 Yo, Simon, it ain't over till it's over. 1.1336 0.02476 232 204 25 3
5230 boxing glove: "unhand me, you fool! " 1.1333 0.02884 180 159 18 3
5231 My next tunes for my Mommy, for letting me borrow her gloves 1.1333 0.02626 210 185 22 3
5232 Gloves off for this dueling piano fight, please. 1.1333 0.02538 210 184 24 2
5233 Ladies and gentlemen, Let’s hear it for the boxin love chords! 1.1333 0.02746 195 172 20 3
5234 I will now play one of Dwane's great pieces. 1.1330 0.02566 218 192 23 3
5235 Yes, I've taken some tough knocks, but maybe I can hit the world stage this way. 1.1330 0.02395 218 190 27 1
5236 They asked me to tinkle the ivories 1.1330 0.02395 218 190 27 1
5237 This grand ol' box I'm boxing 'til the whole damn place is rocking I'm the PianoBoxer Man 1.1330 0.02854 203 181 17 5
5238 this really is the ONLY way to play Beethoven 1.1330 0.03002 188 168 15 5
5239 Everyone needs a second job these days!! 1.1327 0.02586 226 200 22 4
5240 If you loved "Mrs. Robinson", Art tells me this song from our latest album "Bridge Over Troubled Water" will knock you out. 1.1327 0.02436 211 184 26 1
5241 I'm from Julliard, doing my practicum on Heckler Control. 1.1327 0.02699 211 187 20 4
5242 Good, but your playing needs a different attack. 1.1327 0.02782 211 188 18 5
5243 Heavy-handed? No punch? 1.1327 0.02436 211 184 26 1
5244 For my next piece, "Canon in CTE." 1.1324 0.02471 219 192 25 2
5245 Breaking News— Rocky Balboa attempts the piano!!!” 1.1324 0.02471 219 192 25 2
5246 Just Refined Enough 1.1324 0.02666 204 180 21 3
5247 And now here’s “Revolution #9.” 1.1322 0.02576 227 201 22 4
5248 Is there a sports doctor in the house? 1.1322 0.02723 227 203 18 6
5249 I bet Saul Bellow could never do this." 1.1321 0.02769 212 189 18 5
5250 Down for the count! 1.1321 0.02687 212 188 20 4
5251 My next piece was written by Bach when he was training for the Golden Gloves. 1.1320 0.02720 197 174 20 3
5252 And now for an interpretation of Hurricane. 1.1319 0.02446 235 207 25 3
5253 You forgot to take the gloves off.. 1.1319 0.02591 235 209 21 5
5254 I call it the 'Stump of a Crash of Rhinos'. 1.1319 0.02746 182 160 20 2
5255 Chop kicks, not chopsticks! 1.1319 0.02746 182 160 20 2
5256 Stella. Estella? 1.1319 0.02854 182 161 18 3
5257 This piano just came out of a box. 1.1317 0.02562 205 180 23 2
5258 I shall now play, ‘Duke it Out’! 1.1317 0.02653 205 181 21 3
5259 Rocky", eight coun 1.1317 0.02653 205 181 21 3
5260 Gimme that old soft shoe. 1.1317 0.02467 205 179 25 1
5261 In the next piano duo, I will be performing the Kangaroo Hop with the bloke from Down Under. 1.1315 0.02757 213 190 18 5
5262 I channel Ali: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.1314 0.02437 236 208 25 3
5263 I’m playing it “pianissimo”. 1.1313 0.02800 198 176 18 4
5264 Haven’t you ever seen Elton John play with his feet? 1.1313 0.02800 198 176 18 4
5265 'Excuse me while I lay down some phat beats...' 1.1312 0.02613 221 196 21 4
5266 He catches a glimpse in a mirror as he prepares to perform a Leonard Bernstein piece that requires special instrumentation. 1.1312 0.02450 221 194 25 2
5267 Recently “chopped” on the food network, he moved on to his next artistic endeavor. 1.1310 0.02554 229 203 22 4
5268 ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, i regret to inform you that the men’s bathroom is closed. 1.1309 0.02663 191 168 21 2
5269 Come out swinging? 1.1309 0.02957 191 171 15 5
5270 The meat locker was too cold, so I do this instead. 1.1308 0.02663 214 190 20 4
5271 In fact, sir, I trained at Fleety Floyd's Gym. 1.1308 0.02311 214 186 28 0
5272 What do you mean, you never saw the movie "Jaws" 1.1307 0.02598 199 175 22 2
5273 A blind pianist? Wait until you see this next guy. 1.1307 0.02499 199 174 24 1
5274 ...and for my next challanging piece 1.1306 0.02440 222 195 25 2
5275 For my first trick... 1.1306 0.02355 222 194 27 1
5276 I'm the accompanist for the Punch Brothers. 1.1304 0.02717 207 184 19 4
5277 My next piece is entitled "Ode to Cross-Training" 1.1302 0.02482 215 189 24 2
5278 And now I play for you... ‘An ode to boxing.’ 1.1302 0.02652 215 191 20 4
5279 They had asked me to box-in the keys. 1.1300 0.02345 223 195 27 1
5280 They protect me from the threats I have received--sinister forces plan to close the keylid on my precious fingers. Now, enjoy my outstanding play. 1.1300 0.02591 223 198 21 4
5281 One Note!@ 1.1300 0.02586 200 176 22 2
5282 Ladies and gentlemen, the official scoring is a draw. No blows were landed during the 4'33''. 1.1300 0.02586 200 176 22 2
5283 This next one is a Split-Decision. 1.1299 0.02458 231 204 24 3
5284 This one was penned by Bundini Brown. 1.1298 0.02617 208 184 21 3
5285 Bah! To think they criticized my last concerto for lacking that signature punch - preposterous. 1.1298 0.02527 208 183 23 2
5286 ooh, maybe you better turn up the heat instead. 1.1298 0.02527 208 183 23 2
5287 let me box to this beat 1.1298 0.02705 208 185 19 4
5288 Try fisticuffs on chopsticks. 1.1298 0.02617 208 184 21 3
5289 Boxer on the keys 1.1297 0.02704 185 163 20 2
5290 And Muhammad Off-Key is on the piano. 1.1297 0.02810 185 164 18 3
5291 Lullaby of Broadway requires me to play with kid gloves 1.1297 0.02810 185 164 18 3
5292 I am boxing it up 1.1296 0.02557 216 191 22 3
5293 AND STILL CHAMPEON 1.1296 0.02472 216 190 24 2
5294 Perhaps I should use my head instead. 1.1295 0.02580 224 199 21 4
5295 I'll start with twinkle twinkle little toes in the key of c 1.1294 0.02574 201 177 22 2
5296 I'd like to take this opportunity to remind all of the fine people gathered here tonight, that there's plenty of folks out there who still say that no black man could ever play Liszt. 1.1294 0.02761 201 179 18 4
5297 I just can't fight this feeling anymore... now somebody cut these thing off of me! 1.1294 0.02476 201 176 24 1
5298 Next I’ll play my fight song. I call it my take back my life song. 1.1294 0.02849 201 180 16 5
5299 This is not the Thrilla in Manila 1.1294 0.02669 201 178 20 3
5300 And now for the Bach-sing along! 1.1294 0.02849 201 180 16 5
5301 I feel bad for things with paws. 1.1294 0.02574 201 177 22 2
5302 I call this next piece, 'Me Versus Pianola Roll.' 1.1292 0.02516 209 184 23 2
5303 I was told there would be a boxing match, but now I see that I am to play the piano. Random! 1.1290 0.02373 217 190 26 1
5304 Now they tell me that the only words I could make out in their garbled voicemail were actually 'Bach sing loves.' 1.1289 0.02569 225 200 21 4
5305 And now, I'm going to box your ears! 1.1289 0.02624 194 171 21 2
5306 Chopin's etude Butterfly, plink a minor key. 1.1287 0.02657 202 179 20 3
5307 Pinching hazard. 1.1286 0.02680 210 187 19 4
5308 Bam bam, ey, what a bam bam. 1.1286 0.02594 210 186 21 3
5309 And now, thumping keys by my boy Elroy. If you don’t like it please cross that line on the stage. 1.1286 0.02594 210 186 21 3
5310 The last time I attempted Franz Liszt's Campanella I injured my hands therefore my Dr. insists I wear these. 1.1286 0.02504 210 185 23 2
5311 My next piece comes right out of the box. 1.1284 0.02450 218 192 24 2
5312 they said be unique ya think this is easy? 1.1284 0.02271 218 190 28 0
5313 He plays the most amazing glove songs! 1.1283 0.02782 187 166 18 3
5314 Or would you rather be watching the maestro now replacing me in the ring against the heavyweight world champion? 1.1283 0.02400 226 199 25 2
5315 Classic keyboard boxer 1.1282 0.02611 195 172 21 2
5316 My next # is "Waltz around the Ring" composed solely to be played with boxing gloves. 1.1282 0.02190 234 204 30 0
5317 Just another key puncher, in the slog of life... 1.1282 0.02711 195 173 19 3
5318 Ladies and gentlemen please welcome George! George is an excellent multitasker — effortlessly defending his title in the ring, he also tickles the ivory AND simultaneously accomplishes advanced pivot tables in Microsoft Excel. Give it up for George! 1.1281 0.02550 203 179 22 2
5319 Flight" of the bumblebee? Nevermin 1.1281 0.02644 203 180 20 3
5320 It is the only way I can play The Polooka Polka! 1.1280 0.02582 211 187 21 3
5321 And now, a Paul Simon rhapsody. 1.1279 0.02352 219 192 26 1
5322 There's a rhythm in the ring of the keyboard... 1.1278 0.02844 180 160 17 3
5323 What my playing lacks in clarity, my un-bitten fingernails display in acuity. 1.1277 0.02663 188 166 20 2
5324 Everyone, if you would kindly look under your seats, I've seemed to have misplaced my hands. 1.1275 0.02632 204 181 20 3
5325 Sir, kindly take your mitts off me. 1.1274 0.02571 212 188 21 3
5326 What I burnt my hands. 1.1274 0.02656 212 189 19 4
5327 When you said “ punish the counter” ...? 1.1271 0.02409 236 209 24 3
5328 Ladies and gentlemen—I present to you, the -only- way to play Eye of The Tiger… 1.1270 0.02855 189 169 16 4
5329 Victor had always wanted to be a two sport competitor 1.1270 0.02855 189 169 16 4
5330 Can you play ‘Love Is A Battlefield ‘??!! 1.1269 0.02484 197 173 23 1
5331 Gwyneth said no porcelain. 1.1268 0.02710 205 183 18 4
5332 I don't know how to sting like a bee, but I do know Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1268 0.02430 205 180 24 1
5333 Oh no I knew I forgot something when I got up this morning... i forgot my hat, my hair will be ruined in this rain! 1.1268 0.02710 205 183 18 4
5334 Do not try this at home. "Do not try this at home." 1.1268 0.02620 205 182 20 3
5335 And to conclude tonight's performance: Beethoven's bowel movement. 1.1268 0.02430 205 180 24 1
5336 Hamfisted ? Hell no! -- These are my Piano-training Gloves! 1.1267 0.02584 221 197 20 4
5337 Niles pretending to pound out a tune when the CD skipped. 1.1267 0.02419 221 195 24 2
5338 You said play with your left hand? I thought you said play with your left hook! 1.1263 0.02740 190 169 18 3
5339 And now, Chris Brown’s cover of Rihanna 1.1263 0.02672 198 176 19 3
5340 They told me to learn some monophonic pieces. 1.1263 0.02574 198 175 21 2
5341 I heard Mike Tyson was coming to watch his nephew perform at the piano recital, so I had to impress. 1.1263 0.02472 198 174 23 1
5342 now, i understand how ridiculous this may look! however, this piano is - against all odds - the heavyweight champion of the world, and i have had to enact both a cinematic heist and a personal revelation in order to find myself on this stage today! 1.1262 0.02515 206 182 22 2
5343 I can't even do Chopsticks 1.1262 0.02608 206 183 20 3
5344 This piece was written for my newly formed, "Heavy Leather band." 1.1261 0.02409 222 196 24 2
5345 This is that old chestnut: Belt It Out and Punch It Home 1.1257 0.02922 191 172 14 5
5346 And now for a little Simon & Garfunkel ... 1.1257 0.02826 191 171 16 4
5347 This song is called “Puncher.” 1.1256 0.02659 199 177 19 3
5348 The piano was prepared, but Mike wasn't. 1.1256 0.02844 199 179 15 5
5349 Three blind mice, three blind mice... 1.1256 0.02596 207 184 20 3
5350 What the! This is NOT what I wished for! I asked to be a key member of the board! 1.1256 0.02854 207 187 14 6
5351 My next opus is entitled "CT in E minor" 1.1256 0.02450 215 190 23 2
5352 Where do I punch 1.1256 0.02537 215 191 21 3
5353 Playing the piano on 'hard' mode 1.1250 0.02691 216 194 17 5
5354 My parents never loved me. 1.1250 0.02907 192 173 14 5
5355 and now Cauliflower Ears', JuNgLe In ThE rUmBlE 1.1250 0.02526 216 192 21 3
5356 Savate Concerto 1.1250 0.02398 208 183 24 1
5357 And now for the Israeli national anthem... 1.1244 0.02379 225 199 24 2
5358 Chopsticks? Are we eating Chinese? 1.1244 0.02515 217 193 21 3
5359 This is where John Garfield and I diverge. 1.1244 0.02339 217 191 25 1
5360 Do I look sharp with these gloves? 1.1244 0.02598 217 194 19 4
5361 You should see Cody, the other guy. 1.1244 0.02538 201 178 21 2
5362 Yes, I’m exercising! 1.1239 0.02667 218 196 17 5
5363 I was not prepared for this kind of duel. 1.1238 0.02561 210 187 20 3
5364 I'm so pleased to a part of this Day after Christmas Concert at Massey Hall. 1.1238 0.02648 210 188 18 4
5365 Liberace can really pound out some mean tunes!! 1.1238 0.02470 210 186 22 2
5366 Sorry folks, I'm all thumbs tonight. 1.1238 0.02561 210 187 20 3
5367 Next number is "Boxer's delight" 1.1238 0.02376 210 185 24 1
5368 Apologies. I was under the impression I was to be playing Beatoven, not Beethoven, tonight. 1.1238 0.02426 202 178 23 1
5369 He's really known for his voice. The piano is just a prop. 1.1238 0.02622 202 180 19 3
5370 Come out flat and get played like a fiddle 1.1237 0.02586 194 172 20 2
5371 And, now, I'd like to play for you the Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana , by Pietro Mascagni. 1.1237 0.02879 194 175 14 5
5372 And next, "Flight of the Albatross" 1.1233 0.02493 219 195 21 3
5373 Dear, my fingers don't hurt any more! 1.1233 0.02656 219 197 17 5
5374 You wanna fight me on this piano bro!? 1.1233 0.02493 219 195 21 3
5375 And, now, Tyson's Etude Op.10 No. 3 - B-Flat Major. 1.1232 0.02549 211 188 20 3
5376 It isn't what it looks like! 1.1232 0.02366 211 186 24 1
5377 Ali, was always my dream to play the Ivory keys.. 1.1232 0.02366 211 186 24 1
5378 Damn, caught red handed... 1.1232 0.02268 211 185 26 0
5379 The key to being a musician is to glove your work. 1.1232 0.02366 211 186 24 1
5380 How do you expect me to do two things at once? 1.1232 0.02609 203 181 19 3
5381 Oscar Bait 1.1232 0.02701 203 182 17 4
5382 Boxing the keys, Bobby Shorter style: 1.1231 0.02573 195 173 20 2
5383 Time out, foul, breaking rhythm, loss of one point. 1.1230 0.02636 187 166 19 2
5384 The next piece is my own composition entitled, 'Fight Club.' And no, I haven't been drinking, but am a bit punch drunk from my previous profession. 1.1226 0.02448 212 188 22 2
5385 He’s a man of many talents. Beating up pianos is just one of them. 1.1226 0.02538 212 189 20 3
5386 I,m just wearing these to keep my hands warm. Elizabeth Shaw San Francisco, Calif. 1.1226 0.02355 212 187 24 1
5387 . . . Gonna Fly Now. Next the theme from Raging Bull, Cavalleria Rusticana Intermezzo. 1.1226 0.02355 212 187 24 1
5388 Aren't we playing the first movement from the Pugulist Concerto in Bb? 1.1225 0.02404 204 180 23 1
5389 And now as my Al Jolson tribute continues, I'd like to play AlaBAMy Bound. 1.1224 0.02561 196 174 20 2
5390 This is the Winner By Knockout sonata for piano four hands. 1.1224 0.02561 196 174 20 2
5391 When I pound the black and whites, the harmony is incredible. 1.1222 0.02553 221 198 19 4
5392 OK.. the odd's are even.. I can play Chopin VS Trump knew nothing... 1.1222 0.02387 221 196 23 2
5393 Do I have to do your job, too? 1.1221 0.02696 213 192 16 5
5394 Next, I’ll be playing Bach’s “In G Minor” 1.1221 0.02437 213 189 22 2
5395 klsfjsd 1.1221 0.02696 213 192 16 5
5396 Best technique to compose a fine lullaby. 1.1221 0.02613 213 191 18 4
5397 No encore tonight. 1.1221 0.02527 213 190 20 3
5398 At recital, all the way up the scale, my hands told me I was a non-pianist. 1.1220 0.02585 205 183 19 3
5399 I'd like to play chopsticks. Again. 1.1218 0.02548 197 175 20 2
5400 The guy at the store said these go loves would knock you out! 1.1218 0.02445 197 174 22 1
5401 As an encore, I"m going to play my Boxing Concerto. 1.1215 0.02334 214 189 24 1
5402 I,m now going to play gloves get in the way 1.1214 0.02382 206 182 23 1
5403 I have a boxing match at 6:00 but a recital at 5:30. 1.1214 0.02573 206 184 19 3
5404 And now, the Box Well-Tampered Clavier 1.1212 0.02913 198 180 12 6
5405 Perfect to start off Tchaikovsky's first Piano Concerto! 1.1212 0.02536 198 176 20 2
5406 The next selection is "The Hypochondriac's Concerto" 1.1212 0.02433 198 175 22 1
5407 It fifights me. I have no chouxe. 1.1211 0.02532 223 200 19 4
5408 No this isn't a piano. I have a scale in here. 1.1211 0.02367 223 198 23 2
5409 How dare you say I'm all thumbs! 1.1211 0.02702 190 170 17 3
5410 And now, Mozart's Piano Concerto N. 23 in A. 1.1209 0.02504 215 192 20 3
5411 Has anyone seen my shadow? 1.1208 0.02371 207 183 23 1
5412 I'll be playing the piano sonata by Wolfgang Amadeus K.O.zart 1.1206 0.02524 199 177 20 2
5413 And now I give you Rondo No. 15 by my boxer. 1.1202 0.02457 208 185 21 2
5414 Next I put the top down, take my gloves off, tie my dance shoes on and dance my favorite song. 1.1202 0.02639 208 187 17 4
5415 Please welcome our next performance, "The Boxer's Treble" 1.1202 0.02550 208 186 19 3
5416 That was a real knockout! This next one will be a TKO... 1.1202 0.02550 208 186 19 3
5417 My drums was stolen 1.1202 0.02550 208 186 19 3
5418 TKO!!! (Tickle the keys!) 1.1200 0.02410 200 177 22 1
5419 Last song he was sharp, but now he just sounds flat. 1.1200 0.02347 225 200 23 2
5420 I like to feel the beat through the piano. 1.1200 0.02059 250 220 30 0
5421 Oh, I'm so sorry. I just came from boxing practice. 1.1200 0.02705 200 180 16 4
5422 And that's how I learned to play "Concert Toes". 1.1198 0.02567 217 195 18 4
5423 You shall know me as Hasim Rachmaninoff 1.1198 0.02482 217 194 20 3
5424 A singer is not going to be a good boxer without knowing piano. 1.1198 0.02567 217 195 18 4
5425 I’m going to play this way, believe it or not. 1.1196 0.02446 209 186 21 2
5426 Nah, Anything but chopsticks! 1.1196 0.02446 209 186 21 2
5427 For my next number, I will be punching above my weight 1.1196 0.02519 184 163 20 1
5428 He packs a punch on the b-minor chord! 1.1194 0.02598 201 180 18 3
5429 my record is 0 and 111 losses, however my nest opponent J.S. Bach only has a simple tocata and fugue in d minor played lively with ppp dynamics 1.1193 0.02200 218 192 26 0
5430 Sorry, but the piano has chickenpox. 1.1190 0.02527 210 188 19 3
5431 This tune is in gratitude to the bouncer who is so great with his hands. 1.1188 0.02489 202 180 20 2
5432 This is how Doraemon plays the piano. 1.1188 0.02388 202 179 22 1
5433 You think this is ridiculous, .... 1.1186 0.02649 194 174 17 3
5434 I'd like to play for you, but I just washed my hands. 1.1186 0.02649 194 174 17 3
5435 It practically plays itself 1.1184 0.02233 228 202 25 1
5436 It says to play it ff af 1.1183 0.02608 186 166 18 2
5437 Float like a butterfly, sing like a Beatle. 1.1183 0.02717 186 167 16 3
5438 And now, my impression of Lang Lang. 1.1182 0.02757 203 184 14 5
5439 My next number is Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now." 1.1182 0.02477 203 181 20 2
5440 Liszt was out of the question, but, ohhh, Christmas Chopsticks! 1.1182 0.02450 220 197 20 3
5441 This next piece is for prepared piano. 1.1182 0.02275 220 195 24 1
5442 Sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.1179 0.02413 212 189 21 2
5443 Did Golden Boy survive? 1.1179 0.02136 229 202 27 0
5444 Muhammad Off-key 1.1176 0.02466 204 182 20 2
5445 Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass... 1.1176 0.02914 204 187 10 7
5446 I’m sorry. I can’t. My hands are tied! 1.1176 0.02466 204 182 20 2
5447 A standing 8 count please! A standing 8 count!! A one, a two, a onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight: Boom! Yeeeeah!! 1.1174 0.02215 230 204 25 1
5448 Big decision: Pizza or chicken for dinner? 1.1174 0.02493 213 191 19 3
5449 Hey, it’s Rachmaninov! 1.1173 0.02539 179 159 19 1
5450 You better be prepared for a fight, if you play Christmas music! 1.1171 0.02454 205 183 20 2
5451 I swear this is the right way to play the piano! 1.1171 0.02355 205 182 22 1
5452 And now, a little something by John 1.1171 0.02550 205 184 18 3
5453 Your only limit is you 1.1168 0.02392 214 191 21 2
5454 We don’t have Boxing Day in America, but I’m sure I can find the right beat. 1.1168 0.02482 214 192 19 3
5455 Now please enjoy several selections from my new album. 1.1168 0.02611 197 177 17 3
5456 Keep your hands up! 1.1166 0.02334 223 199 22 2
5457 My town. Round ten? 1.1166 0.02334 223 199 22 2
5458 This is not what I meant by “break a leg”! 1.1162 0.02497 198 177 19 2
5459 This next piece helps me touch some tender feelings... 1.1159 0.02526 207 186 18 3
5460 I once thought there were no second acts in American lives. 1.1159 0.02432 207 185 20 2
5461 By executive order, I present you a piano concerto in Me Mayor. 1.1158 0.02556 190 170 18 2
5462 I just had a manicure.So, bear with me, or I'll punch you out. 1.1158 0.02662 190 171 16 3
5463 Before tonight, Peter had only played Symphony No. 5 in bars and small rock clubs. 1.1156 0.02381 199 177 21 1
5464 My sinphony for appassionato. 1.1154 0.02341 234 210 21 3
5465 I will now play, "D.E.A.D". 1.1152 0.02361 217 194 21 2
5466 Psst! Hey! Wanna score some gluten? 1.1152 0.02361 217 194 21 2
5467 And now I will play Islamey alla Bellicoso. 1.1152 0.02751 191 173 14 4
5468 For some reason, Haydn is Hidin' 1.1150 0.02573 200 180 17 3
5469 Aren’t there already too many YouTube videos with this gimmick?! 1.1148 0.02211 209 185 24 0
5470 I will now perform Rocky's concerto no. 1 for pianist's penis. 1.1148 0.02717 183 165 15 3
5471 You better like this, or else I will knock you out. 1.1145 0.02295 227 203 22 2
5472 My next number is "A Rollin' and a Tumblin" 1.1144 0.02462 201 180 19 2
5473 I'm a classical fighter, not a lover. 1.1144 0.02656 201 182 15 4
5474 you want me to shell the peanuts right now? 1.1144 0.02161 236 210 25 1
5475 This piano has been shading me 1.1142 0.02249 219 195 23 1
5476 We'd like to welcome Rocky, here in the front row. 1.1142 0.02249 219 195 23 1
5477 LIGHTS, please! 1.1142 0.02340 219 196 21 2
5478 I would now like to play for you my latest composition , The rope-a-dope. 1.1142 0.02249 219 195 23 1
5479 Our next act is MMA sousaphone. 1.1140 0.02623 193 174 16 3
5480 No one expected the spelling bee's elimination round to be like this. 1.1139 0.02234 237 212 23 2
5481 The ex-boxer had moved from the ring to the classical music stage. Although still limited in his piano playing, he has become highly regarded in the nearly lost art of round singing. Here he is shown preparing his audience to go the full 10. 1.1137 0.02292 211 188 22 1
5482 The next piece is by Dave Brubeck. 1.1137 0.02481 211 190 18 3
5483 No, Penn & Teller, not a piano roll 1.1137 0.02292 211 188 22 1
5484 Eb-o-ny and i-vo-ry, From Stallone. For his herd's men-ta-li-ty... 1.1137 0.02481 211 190 18 3
5485 I'm auditioning for the Punch Brothers' Christmas concert. 1.1137 0.02292 211 188 22 1
5486 Wait, this is not the bathroom... Too late I guess. 1.1133 0.02631 203 184 15 4
5487 OK, you guys go "dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah" and then I windmill and do some jabs we'll all feel hugely uplifted 1.1133 0.02631 203 184 15 4
5488 Sorry, my last sparring partner only knew Heart and Soul. 1.1131 0.02230 221 197 23 1
5489 It ain't never gonna stop 'cause You can't fight the feeling 1.1131 0.02407 221 199 19 3
5490 My next song is “Gonna Fly Now”. 1.1131 0.02407 221 199 19 3
5491 Chord Master 1.1128 0.02493 195 175 18 2
5492 Ushio Shinohara pivots into a musical career. 1.1127 0.02525 204 184 17 3
5493 Doctors orders I'm afraid. Bad case of Onychophagia. 1.1127 0.02619 204 185 15 4
5494 Fight, or Floght if the Bumblebee? 1.1126 0.02310 222 199 21 2
5495 for my next number i shall play "punch" 1.1126 0.02220 222 198 23 1
5496 This boxing-piono match really shows off both of my talents! 1.1122 0.02585 196 177 16 3
5497 How about some K.O. Key? 1.1122 0.02481 196 176 18 2
5498 I'm going to hit a grand slam with my grand piano. 1.1122 0.02373 196 175 20 1
5499 take the gloves off and let me kill it 1.1122 0.02416 205 184 19 2
5500 Enough with the snotty critique. I do. 1.1122 0.02416 205 184 19 2
5501 For my last number, I need to play only a few keys and I need to protect myself from my OCD. 1.1121 0.02387 223 201 19 3
5502 Sorry, I just finished the boxing match. 1.1117 0.02538 188 169 17 2
5503 I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network 1.1117 0.02362 197 176 20 1
5504 I feel like such a dick 1.1116 0.02437 215 194 18 3
5505 I wasn’t sure what was scheduled tonight at MSG 1.1116 0.02320 233 210 20 3
5506 Cluster time! 1.1111 0.02449 225 204 17 4
5507 A.J. Liebling taught me everything I know. 1.1111 0.02394 207 186 19 2
5508 Another day at the office... 1.1111 0.02412 189 169 19 1
5509 Now for a medley from the World War II era 1.1111 0.02490 207 187 17 3
5510 You never know when you may be attacked 1.1111 0.02490 207 187 17 3
5511 This is Princeton, right? 1.1111 0.02366 225 203 19 3
5512 Good boxing is a piece of art 1.1111 0.02336 216 194 20 2
5513 And now, I play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata 1.1106 0.02356 226 204 19 3
5514 Sergio is obsessed with Victor Borge. 1.1106 0.02446 199 179 18 2
5515 Before I begin, I’d like to thank my parents for showing me the value of compromise, as applied to my choices for after-school activities...and now, the MMA concerto. 1.1105 0.02400 190 170 19 1
5516 Let's get ready to huuuummble. 1.1102 0.02292 236 213 20 3
5517 You promised me I'd have a corner man and a trainer. 1.1101 0.02174 227 203 23 1
5518 Rejoice-- I was able to get this concert on Pay TV. 1.1101 0.02222 218 195 22 1
5519 What people don't realize is that the gloves have made it more likely that pianists get injured. 1.1100 0.02273 209 187 21 1
5520 What about the pianissimo parts? 1.1100 0.02329 200 179 20 1
5521 His salary known work, this piece was composed by Handel at 6 months. 1.1100 0.02535 200 181 16 3
5522 I 'm the poster boy for Trump's new rhythmic safe sex and birth control plans. 1.1100 0.02535 200 181 16 3
5523 Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready for some action on the old 88! 1.1099 0.02501 191 172 17 2
5524 Everything started when I received a music box at Christmas 1.1097 0.02360 237 215 18 4
5525 Piano concerto in b minor. Boom Boom Bang Bang. 1.1095 0.02263 210 188 21 1
5526 Yo Adrian. Yo Adrian, you have become part of my plan. Yo Adrian. Yo Adrian, here's the one thing. I'll step out of the boxing ring and give you another kind of RING! (excerpt from Rocky: The Stage Performance) 1.1095 0.02423 201 181 18 2
5527 I call this one 'The Sweet Music of the Sweet Science.' 1.1095 0.02318 201 180 20 1
5528 Don't bring boxing gloves to a piano fight. 1.1092 0.02327 229 207 19 3
5529 I find it difficult to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee just now. 1.1091 0.02469 220 200 16 4
5530 I will now attempt Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on super duper hard mode. 1.1090 0.02253 211 189 21 1
5531 I just have to punch the keys on the piano to bring 'em back to tune 1.1090 0.02445 211 191 17 3
5532 'Am I loud enough to go through your hearing aid?' 1.1089 0.02511 202 183 16 3
5533 I call it Pieces of Eight, of course. 1.1089 0.02307 202 181 20 1
5534 Don't break a leg! 1.1085 0.02434 212 192 17 3
5535 It's so declasse to do this with naked hands! 1.1085 0.02341 212 191 19 2
5536 Clearly, I am the most superb. 1.1082 0.02464 194 175 17 2
5537 Beethoven again? 1.1082 0.02570 194 176 15 3
5538 You've seen Golden Boy? Well, I just can't decide! 1.1081 0.02414 185 166 18 1
5539 You want me to play Chopsticks? I can't even hold them! 1.1080 0.02330 213 192 19 2
5540 easy enough 1.1080 0.02132 213 190 23 0
5541 No, I'm hardly a kitten on the keys! 1.1080 0.02233 213 191 21 1
5542 ‘Ay, it’s me, Brooklyn Maitre-D! I got a nice pipin’ hot piano pie, straight from da oven! Just kidding, I’m Piano Hater! I beat ‘em up! Stop me when one of these is good enough for my MadTV audition tape. 1.1078 0.02389 204 184 18 2
5543 It seems my manager's text message auto-corrected from 'plink those black keys' to 'punch those black eyes.' Apologies. 1.1078 0.02040 232 207 25 0
5544 ...and now for my truly smashing rendition of the Diabelli Variations 1.1077 0.02452 195 176 17 2
5545 (Afternoon of requests) "Tchaik 1st? OK. Ready!" 1.1075 0.02223 214 192 21 1
5546 We aren't fighting the conchords after the show? 1.1073 0.02571 205 187 14 4
5547 It's a new style. We call it Beethoven. 1.1073 0.02476 205 186 16 3
5548 A boxing we will go, A boxing we will go, High-ho the dairy oh, A boxing we will go! 1.1073 0.02206 233 210 21 2
5549 And now for your musical enjoyment..Boxer Rapsody Susan Elwood Monterey Calicornia 1.1071 0.02166 224 201 22 1
5550 AS A BOXER ,I AM TOTALLY UNSUITED FOR MUSIC 1.1071 0.02256 224 202 20 2
5551 And now for the opening notes of “Night and Day” by Cole Porter. 1.1071 0.02330 196 176 19 1
5552 Looks like I accidentally wore my boxing gloves instead of my piano gloves 1.1071 0.02215 196 175 21 0
5553 I will now perform my swinging ‘Larkin’ suite. 1.1070 0.02309 215 194 19 2
5554 This sonata has 12 movements. It's called "By Unanimous Decision" Javier Pescador, Ann Arbor, MI 1.1068 0.02264 206 185 20 1
5555 You hate my playing this much!?? 1.1068 0.02465 206 187 16 3
5556 Can’t I just use the electronic keyboard to mute the sound? 1.1066 0.02428 197 178 17 2
5557 This one is called "Rudolph the smash-nosed Reindeer." 1.1066 0.02428 197 178 17 2
5558 Oh, Mr. Mayweather, I'm going to tune you up! 1.1065 0.02204 216 194 21 1
5559 I thought we were playing the Notre Dame fight song next 1.1064 0.02378 188 169 18 1
5560 And now, Mozart's Opus No. 1, The Enfant Concerto 1.1063 0.02453 207 188 16 3
5561 For my next piece I'll literally be tinkling the ivories. 1.1063 0.02356 207 187 18 2
5562 I call this 'The Sweet Science Sonata.' 1.1063 0.02254 207 186 20 1
5563 My week beats your year 1.1061 0.02520 198 180 15 3
5564 I shall now play Total Concerto for Radness and Coolness by Strong Bad. 1.1061 0.02520 198 180 15 3
5565 This is no pianola. 1.1060 0.02194 217 195 21 1
5566 So it's playing piano first and then the boxing. 1.1059 0.02773 170 155 12 3
5567 I don't want to hear another word about your fat thumbs. 1.1058 0.02482 189 171 16 2
5568 You thought I said my favorite things were pianos and violins, did you? 1.1057 0.02139 227 204 22 1
5569 And now a little composition of my own called "Etude for Washington, No. 535". 1.1055 0.02405 199 180 17 2
5570 I didn't mean to actually break a leg! 1.1055 0.02508 199 181 15 3
5571 Oh, Henry Mancini!" (Please underline the word Henry. 1.1053 0.02233 209 188 20 1
5572 A famous rap artist told me to "knock it out the box", maestro! 1.1050 0.02286 200 180 19 1
5573 I hope you weren't expecting "Chopsticks" with these things. 1.1050 0.02285 181 162 19 0
5574 I'm taking giant steps. 1.1048 0.02294 229 208 18 3
5575 I think I lost by a TKO ... 1.1048 0.02324 210 190 18 2
5576 When 1.1048 0.02324 210 190 18 2
5577 Next,the boxing champion Ali will perform. 1.1045 0.02382 201 182 17 2
5578 Do you prefer my rendition of Mozart with a left hook or right cross? 1.1045 0.02582 201 184 13 4
5579 I'm moving up in classical music. 1.1038 0.02513 183 166 15 2
5580 Joe could always set a beat down. Tonight, he was going to set a beat-down. 1.1038 0.02303 212 192 18 2
5581 They call to the Jersey bounce, it’s the rythem that really counts! 1.1036 0.02541 193 176 14 3
5582 War and music ? Lets keep Smileing 1.1034 0.02266 232 211 18 3
5583 I'm feeling boxed in and want greater freedom to develop my music. 1.1034 0.02254 203 183 19 1
5584 i was afraid there'd be a boxing kangaroo in the audience 1.1033 0.02292 213 193 18 2
5585 That's supposed to be Bach's prelude in C!! 1.1033 0.02249 184 165 19 0
5586 But I thought he said I played as if...? 1.1031 0.02041 223 200 23 0
5587 Its the challenge of playing Bela Bartko 1.1029 0.02348 204 185 17 2
5588 It’s the new fashion 1.1029 0.02133 204 183 21 0
5589 Thirty years, and he still can't get "Hot Cross Buns", folks. 1.1029 0.02348 204 185 17 2
5590 We will, we wi[[ box you" Deda Jacobse 1.1024 0.02626 205 189 11 5
5591 My next selection is by a well known 21st century composer. 1.1022 0.02474 186 169 15 2
5592 umm..k...then...o 1.1019 0.02327 206 187 17 2
5593 Chopped, not chops 1.1019 0.02222 206 186 19 1
5594 You didn't say 'delicate hands for a delicate task'?" - David Steenburg, Washington, D 1.1019 0.02327 206 187 17 2
5595 The piano is my ring and the sheet music is my mouth guard. 1.1018 0.02016 226 203 23 0
5596 Perhaps I should switch to hand drumming instead. 1.1018 0.02374 226 207 15 4
5597 Marshmallow gets into hard rock 1.1014 0.02316 207 188 17 2
5598 We are now going to sing a round: Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 1.1014 0.02345 217 198 16 3
5599 Chief of Staff? I'm not dressed for the occasion 1.1011 0.02562 188 172 13 3
5600 You know the old saying? Yes...I am a professional Pugilist Pianist. 1.1010 0.02263 198 179 18 1
5601 I mastered this advanced technique by watching the Ali vs. Frazier 3 fight" 1.1010 0.02479 198 181 14 3
5602 Now I will play Bachoxing piano concerto No. 3 1.1010 0.02374 198 180 16 2
5603 It's closer to 'punch' music. 1.1005 0.02467 199 182 14 3
5604 If someone will hit me with a touch of smelling salts, I'll close with Ode to the Renaissance man. 1.1005 0.02467 199 182 14 3
5605 I guarantee this will be the best rendition of Boulez's Second Piano Sonata you will hear. 1.1005 0.02252 199 180 18 1
5606 And now for "The Flight of the Boom Boom Beegone"! 1.1005 0.02136 219 198 20 1
5607 I shall now attempt Mozart's Sonata No.16 in C major. 1.0995 0.02444 201 184 14 3
5608 And for my next piece, I like to place a tune by Simon & Garfunkel 1.0995 0.02544 201 185 12 4
5609 Hello, Pianist Temps, send someone over quickly. One of the pianists in the duet suddenly came down with a splitting headache. 1.0995 0.02412 191 174 15 2
5610 He punches below his weight. 1.0991 0.02381 222 204 14 4
5611 … And now: “Battling Joe” 1.0991 0.02057 212 191 21 0
5612 the last number really did a number on me! 1.0991 0.02163 212 192 19 1
5613 Just to show you that I'm not at war with myself... 1.0990 0.02432 202 185 14 3
5614 'Time to duck & cover bitches while I fulfill the request for 'The Theme from Rocky'. 1.0986 0.02531 213 197 11 5
5615 OH GOD IM GONNA CUM 1.0982 0.02444 224 207 12 5
5616 This is my fight song No hands no feet song Just mouthing words song 1.0979 0.02140 194 175 19 0
5617 And as I face the final curtain, Boss, I honor you. 1.0977 0.02233 215 196 17 2
5618 I never knew that a set of punches could sound like a set of keys. 1.0976 0.02077 205 185 20 0
5619 And then I fought ... 1.0973 0.02439 185 169 14 2
5620 There are many reasons why I am confused right now. Chiefly amount which is the question of where my seeing-eye bat is? 1.0969 0.02353 196 179 15 2
5621 You might say “This looks like a sack race” and then you might say... “Yes, you can run a sack race, but why run a freakin’ sack race?” And I tell you “It’s all thumbs.” 1.0960 0.02330 198 181 15 2
5622 You know, I HAVE the chicken pox! 1.0960 0.02330 198 181 15 2
5623 I totally expect you to account for every song that vaguely fits. 1.0955 0.02605 178 164 11 3
5624 Is this how Scott Joplin learned? 1.0955 0.02207 199 181 17 1
5625 With all due respect to Simon et al - this is not going to work. 1.0950 0.02079 200 181 19 0
5626 A Beethoven Classic, right up. 1.0950 0.02079 200 181 19 0
5627 We are not the UFC - we have class! 1.0950 0.02336 179 163 15 1
5628 I don't think they'll even notice I sent a sub for this gig. 1.0946 0.02166 222 203 17 2
5629 Once I Ko'ed Ali . 1.0945 0.02186 201 183 17 1
5630 Something about using the gloves to masturbate I dunno figure out your own caption. 1.0945 0.02297 201 184 15 2
5631 Since I can play only chords, my concert repertoire is limited...but we'll see what happens. 1.0941 0.02059 202 183 19 0
5632 Meet me in the ring after this piece. Five O'Clock. Don't be late. 1.0941 0.02286 202 185 15 2
5633 Hey ! Wanna learn my boxing style ? 1.0941 0.02175 202 184 17 1
5634 Rachmaninoff? I don't Think so. 1.0939 0.02213 213 195 16 2
5635 Hmmmm, Insurance Company says I am not covered if I am not covered" 1.0933 0.02342 193 177 14 2
5636 Three little kitten lost their mittens... 1.0927 0.02145 205 187 17 1
5637 They call me the Gloved Geek. 1.0925 0.01927 227 206 21 0
5638 Sorry I promised my wife to stay off Facebook for a week But i can box my way through. 1.0923 0.02202 195 178 16 1
5639 They told Johnny he was a one hit wonder . Look at him now ! 1.0922 0.02135 206 188 17 1
5640 What's that? You'd like me to play with boxing gloves on? Well, it's highly unorthodox. I won't be able to use my fingers to strike individual keys. Might as well give it a try, I suppose. 1.0919 0.02263 185 169 15 1
5641 Just the kind of gloves I need for a piano. 1.0918 0.02233 207 190 15 2
5642 'This next piece is called 'Boxing Clever'' 1.0917 0.02065 218 199 18 1
5643 "Every time I try to play 1 key I play 6 other keys" 1.0917 0.01958 240 219 20 1
5644 `We now take you to a very controlled contest!! 1.0913 0.02222 208 191 15 2
5645 And now a new original work for our time, 'Pizza Chord.' 1.0913 0.02001 230 210 19 1
5646 You think these gloves can stop me from playing my brilliance 1.0909 0.02170 198 181 16 1
5647 Turn off that spotlight! I don't want the audience to see why I play so delicately. 1.0905 0.02159 199 182 16 1
5648 ''I heard Chuck Norris plays the violin with a piano between his teeth, this will be easy in comparison...what do you mean internet memes aren't true?'' 1.0905 0.02274 199 183 14 2
5649 Aww crud, was I sleep walking again? 1.0905 0.02159 199 182 16 1
5650 An uninpired riff off of my Baa Baa Blacksheep entry made the finals. 1.0901 0.02029 222 203 18 1
5651 My firsta requesta eez "Box Em RoundO 1.0900 0.02149 200 183 16 1
5652 Chopin handicaps himself just to flex on his peers and assert domincance. 1.0899 0.02341 189 174 13 2
5653 How will I flip the notes? 1.0896 0.02019 201 183 18 0
5654 Required paraphernalia to perform the latest new music and to fight back. 1.0896 0.02019 201 183 18 0
5655 I didn't want to, it sounds awful. 1.0892 0.02068 213 195 17 1
5656 Trust me! This is neither an easy-to-set nor effective large rodent trap. 1.0887 0.02119 203 186 16 1
5657 The performance will continue as soon as I dispose of this anthropomorphic mouse! 1.0885 0.02184 192 176 15 1
5658 Bach-sing! Cantatas. By Bach. Me singing. Dammit, they were right! The only sight gags that work with you people are pianist jokes. Somebody get these off me. The gloves, madam! 1.0878 0.02210 205 189 14 2
5659 I was told not to juggle boxing and piano but I didn't know that it was to avoid something like this! 1.0876 0.02397 194 180 11 3
5660 1.0876 0.02283 194 179 13 2
5661 How'd you like to pull my gloves? 1.0872 0.02152 195 179 15 1
5662 Safety first of all: I prefer to skip a note that the piano top makes me jump my fingers. 1.0872 0.02152 195 179 15 1
5663 Thank you thank you I will be autograph signing healthcare bills after the show. Thank you! 1.0868 0.02115 219 202 15 2
5664 I can't Bogy gus zaso, concord nh 1.0867 0.02260 196 181 13 2
5665 They just told me I needed to know ten key punch. 1.0867 0.02141 196 180 15 1
5666 And now I shall perform Chopin's Prelude in G for pianist's penis. 1.0865 0.02179 208 192 14 2
5667 Get used to this. 1.0860 0.02198 186 171 14 1
5668 Mum can I take the gloves off now so I can play piano? 1.0859 0.02121 198 182 15 1
5669 I Call this number.... 1.0833 0.01940 204 187 17 0
5670 Remember: 9/11 was an inside job 1.0833 0.01937 228 210 17 1
5671 Rocky still has a punchers chance of knocking out Liszt's Campanella 1.0830 0.01929 229 211 17 1
5672 And now playing “The Cinderella Man” in Cross, Hook, Uppercut.” 1.0829 0.01877 217 199 18 0
5673 Oh! Oh no! This must be how you hit “the brown note.” 1.0829 0.01987 217 200 16 1
5674 Its the fermata tiger, its the trill of Wainwright 1.0829 0.02051 205 189 15 1
5675 OK, I've got a nail biting problem, nut couldn't I wear a cone instead? 1.0826 0.02109 230 214 13 3
5676 I said Moonlight "Sonata'"- not Moonlight "South Paw"! 1.0818 0.01961 220 203 16 1
5677 Oh request those great 1-2 beat tunes. 1.0818 0.02064 220 204 14 2
5678 Guess who said, "I punched my music teacher because I didn't think he knew anything about music and I almost got expelled." 1.0816 0.02090 196 181 14 1
5679 And now for your request...punch in time...sing alone folks... 1.0815 0.02165 184 170 13 1
5680 My bad, I have pummeling walls and newspapers as my primary job, and this as my second. 1.0813 0.02124 209 194 13 2
5681 A punchers chance my a#%! 1.0812 0.01984 234 217 15 2
5682 This isn’t a boxing match for crying out loud! You are meant to play the piano and those gloves are completely inappropriate. Don’t look at me like that, you know exactly what to do, so get them gloves off and use your fingers like you’re supposed t! 1.0808 0.02190 198 184 12 2
5683 Its tough to survive in this business." Mel Vigman, Summit, N 1.0800 0.01923 200 184 16 0
5684 Here’s an old standardyiu May. It recognise 1.0796 0.02040 201 186 14 1
5685 I will now attempt my encore in C#m 1.0786 0.01887 229 212 16 1
5686 It's not gay. It's big dick energy. 1.0785 0.02088 191 177 13 1
5687 Casio Clay got more than e asked for when presented with a Baby Grand 1.0785 0.02216 191 178 11 2
5688 This next number is really hot. 1.0778 0.02151 180 167 12 1
5689 I wish I had knuckles instead of these crab hands. 1.0777 0.01992 206 191 14 1
5690 What is Stevie Wonder up to now? 1.0773 0.02098 207 193 12 2
5691 Watch out for the hammer move! 1.0773 0.01861 207 191 16 0
5692 What a Louis Lortie Nightmare looks like 1.0773 0.01916 220 204 15 1
5693 Risin' up, back on the street 1.0746 0.01858 201 186 15 0
5694 How do I piano tune with my claws? 1.0739 0.01936 230 215 13 2
5695 First they took away the boxing ring...now I don't know how to play this piano...unless they have really really wide keys... 1.0725 0.02141 193 181 10 2
5696 Nauseating discordance is the soundtrack to my career but they’ll never understand :( 1.0717 0.01732 223 207 16 0
5697 So if I think Beethoven's Minuet in G, I can play. 1.0714 0.01844 196 182 14 0
5698 I am fighting a cold tonight. I play not Tchaikovsky, but Chopsticks. 1.0711 0.02099 197 185 10 2
5699 I am David, Front of House at the Wigmore Hall. 1.0693 0.01924 202 189 12 1
5700 I'd gladly spar but I'm ill-prepared in today's reign of hip hop, rap, house and Brittney/Bieber clones. 1.0667 0.01972 210 198 10 2
5701 On piano making right noise. 1.0644 0.01731 202 189 13 0
5702 R is for the way you drove me crazy,O is for the way you drove me nuts,Cis for the way you drove me insane,put them all together they spell fricking psyco.. 1.0632 0.01769 190 178 12 0
5703 The Scouts new "Trump Advisor" badge. 1.0594 0.01940 202 192 8 2
5704 Man, taking 25 lsd tablets wants my best choice 1.0558 0.01791 197 187 9 1
5705 "The key to solving any problem is to just finger it out." 1.0556 0.01694 216 205 10 1
5706 Never made a better performance 1.0550 0.01616 200 189 11 0
5707 sorry guys just came back from a game and i sweat alot and my gloves are stuck sorry we are still doing the show but i will have twin brother do it instead you won't tell the difference well be dose play boxing 1.0500 0.01629 180 171 9 0