Contest #643


Cartoon

643

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “And now—I've got an old score to settle.”
  2. “My next piece may sound a little bit like the last one.”
  3. “We'll have a brief intermission while I make a pretty big career decision.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-12-17T02:23:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-01-07T02:23:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-01-01T02:23:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued January 7, 2019
Number of captions 5708
Number of responses 1185450
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My next selection sounds just like the last one. 1.5520 0.05263 221 139 42 40
1 This next song is pretty much the same as the last one. 1.5473 0.05367 201 124 44 33
2 I could have been a conductor. 1.5407 0.05164 209 128 49 32
3 This next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.5183 0.04831 218 133 57 28
4 My next piece may sound a little bit like the last one. 1.5169 0.04708 236 146 58 32
5 Anyone else forget to turn off their cellphone? 1.5073 0.04772 205 123 60 22
6 They say dress for the job you want; not the job you have. 1.5047 0.04856 214 133 54 27
7 And now, my musical interpretation of the Trump presidency... 1.5045 0.05134 220 145 39 36
8 That's right. I'm just that good. 1.5000 0.05633 174 113 35 26
9 And now Gershwin’s lesser-known ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’ 1.4930 0.04748 215 134 56 25
10 You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. 1.4926 0.04756 203 124 58 21
11 My final encore is for the gentleman asleep in Row 3. 1.4883 0.04873 213 136 50 27
12 You may have heard your children play this next piece. 1.4858 0.04890 212 136 49 27
13 We'll have a brief intermission while I make a pretty big career decision. 1.4780 0.04869 205 131 50 24
14 I wasn't joking about the cell phones 1.4764 0.04914 191 120 51 20
15 You may laugh, but the last time I had the lid drop on my hands I couldn’t play for a month. 1.4760 0.04816 208 133 51 24
16 Oh, you said "Bach's" 1.4706 0.04713 238 159 46 33
17 And now here's something for those of you who slept through the Mozart. 1.4700 0.04751 200 126 54 20
18 No, that was Für Elise. Now try to name this tune... 1.4686 0.04734 207 132 53 22
19 Ok, that's it! Who forgot to silence their cell phone? 1.4678 0.04470 233 149 59 25
20 Would the guy who booed please stand up? 1.4677 0.04680 201 126 56 19
21 I always hate this part of the dream. 1.4673 0.04872 199 128 49 22
22 This next piece was written by my cat. 1.4660 0.05087 206 139 38 29
23 I will now play Sonata for Trump’s First Two Years. 1.4658 0.04940 219 148 40 31
24 I would like to dedicate this to my ex-wife. 1.4653 0.05018 202 134 42 26
25 Every night it's the same dream. I'm onstage, seated at a piano wearing box gloves, and no pants. 1.4633 0.04556 218 139 57 22
26 I coulda been a contata. 1.4631 0.04900 203 133 46 24
27 And now, I've got an old score to settle. 1.4626 0.04618 214 137 55 22
28 Hit it! 1.4619 0.04635 197 123 57 17
29 You may have heard this little number before...if you have a cat and a piano. 1.4615 0.04412 234 150 60 24
30 And now the famous sonata for piano and concussion. 1.4607 0.04854 178 111 52 15
31 For my next selection, Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.4569 0.04905 197 129 46 22
32 I will now play Trump's étude in diplomacy 1.4565 0.05494 184 128 28 28
33 My cat composed this next one. 1.4529 0.04783 223 151 43 29
34 After a few drinks we agreed to swap jobs for the evening. I guarantee the pianist is NOT having fun. 1.4505 0.05012 202 137 39 26
35 Someone stole my tip jar last night. That’ll never happen again. 1.4503 0.04848 191 124 48 19
36 I’ll be playing this in pugilissimo. 1.4485 0.04902 194 128 45 21
37 I composed my next piece after my divorce. 1.4483 0.05377 174 118 34 22
38 After a month of Christmas songs, I'd like to play one for Boxing Day! 1.4439 0.04518 223 147 53 23
39 Now a tribute to our current President 1.4433 0.04941 203 138 40 25
40 This next piece is dedicated to those critics who say I lacked a deft touch and attacked the piano with a pugilistic style. 1.4422 0.05164 199 139 32 28
41 I call this next number, ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’. 1.4416 0.05154 197 137 33 27
42 And consider that a warning. Anyone else wanna answer their phone? 1.4400 0.04660 225 153 45 27
43 Finally, Ravel's Bolero is going to get what it deserves. 1.4385 0.05144 187 128 36 23
44 Sit back and relax - tonight it's nothing but the hits! 1.4378 0.04512 217 143 53 21
45 I trust the jurors will consider degree of difficulty. 1.4369 0.04685 206 137 48 21
46 Please hold your applause until the final bell 1.4361 0.04455 227 151 53 23
47 I will now play a piece inspired by my visit to the White House 1.4358 0.05432 179 126 28 25
48 No, Franz is my elder brother...I'm Pugi Liszt. 1.4356 0.04904 202 138 40 24
49 I'm gonna need a page turner. 1.4340 0.04537 212 140 52 20
50 To make it even more interesting my Assistant will now blindfold me. 1.4329 0.04354 231 153 56 22
51 Now, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.4320 0.04367 206 132 59 15
52 I'm going to need someone to turn the pages for me. 1.4312 0.04445 218 144 54 20
53 Please join me in the Julliard School fight song 1.4304 0.04494 230 156 49 25
54 This last piece is from my boxed set. 1.4293 0.04655 198 131 49 18
55 It hasn't been a smooth career transition 1.4292 0.04367 233 156 54 23
56 Alexa, play literally anything. 1.4286 0.04712 210 143 44 23
57 These stay on until the tip jar is full. 1.4286 0.04361 217 142 57 18
58 I’m just going to hit a few notes. 1.4278 0.04889 194 132 41 21
59 I will now play The Boxer by Simon & Garfunkel, as it's never been played before. 1.4274 0.04310 234 156 56 22
60 And now a piece by Punchini. 1.4272 0.04627 206 138 48 20
61 And now, because you're drunk and not listening anyway... 1.4267 0.04463 232 158 49 25
62 You think this was bad? You should hear me play the violin. 1.4254 0.04520 228 156 47 25
63 Is there nothing atonal enough that you snobs wouldn't pretend to like? 1.4244 0.04692 205 139 45 21
64 I've suffered for my art. Now it's your turn. 1.4241 0.04622 224 155 43 26
65 I'd like to knock out a few tunes for you 1.4236 0.04878 203 141 38 24
66 And now, my tribute to Philip Glass. 1.4236 0.04725 203 138 44 21
67 This next piece is forte. Very, very forte. 1.4227 0.04456 220 148 51 21
68 It's Shostakovich. You won't notice the difference. 1.4225 0.04610 213 145 46 22
69 This next one’s dedicated to my ex-wife. 1.4223 0.04623 206 139 47 20
70 And now, time to knock out a few classics. 1.4223 0.04824 206 143 39 24
71 And next, a piece written by President Trump. 1.4222 0.05283 180 127 30 23
72 This next piece features dense chords, unusual harmonies, and a pounding rhythm. 1.4222 0.04474 225 153 49 23
73 And now, a request from the drunks at table three. 1.4221 0.04632 199 133 48 18
74 And now, Mozart's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.4218 0.04642 211 144 45 22
75 Sorry for the gloves, but some of the notes are sharp. 1.4213 0.04515 216 146 49 21
76 And now, here’s one that pretty much anybody can play. 1.4213 0.04609 216 148 45 23
77 Would the gentleman in the balcony care to repeat that remark? 1.4211 0.04574 209 141 48 20
78 And now a little piece I wrote watching the news. 1.4211 0.04722 209 144 42 23
79 I call it Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4208 0.04251 221 145 59 17
80 I coulda been a composer 1.4204 0.04324 226 151 55 20
81 You don't understand. I could've played a cadenza. I could've been somebody! 1.4203 0.04756 207 143 41 23
82 When we change to C sharp major, the gloves come off. 1.4202 0.04252 238 160 56 22
83 I play the anthem the way he runs the country 1.4200 0.05080 200 143 30 27
84 I find the piece goes quickly if I can hit a bunch of notes at the same time. 1.4199 0.05140 181 126 34 21
85 I dedicate this song to my father and mother who had different plans for me. 1.4195 0.04585 205 138 48 19
86 And now, Liszt's sonata in B minor, B major, A minor, C major... All of the keys, really. 1.4190 0.04557 210 142 48 20
87 I'll be delighted to meet with the critics after the show. 1.4190 0.04299 210 137 58 15
88 And now, my latest composition:”Requiem For a Heavyweight.” 1.4188 0.04429 234 161 48 25
89 And now Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4188 0.04173 234 155 60 19
90 Please turn on your cell phones. 1.4187 0.04617 203 137 47 19
91 The next piece is entitled, "The Trump White House." 1.4187 0.04874 203 142 37 24
92 For my next piece, the gloves are coming off. 1.4186 0.04576 215 147 46 22
93 I dedicate this piece to the Times critic in the second row. 1.4178 0.04460 213 143 51 19
94 Tonight I'll be performing some of my greatest hits. 1.4175 0.04720 206 142 42 22
95 This next piece was written as a round...actually ten rounds. 1.4167 0.05159 180 126 33 21
96 This one's going out to my ex-wife and her attorney. 1.4163 0.04437 221 150 50 21
97 Beethoven’s going down in the 5th 1.4155 0.04604 219 152 43 24
98 Anyone can play blindfolded. 1.4141 0.04805 198 137 40 21
99 Cough one more time, I dare you. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
100 Could I have a volunteer from the audience to come scratch my nose? 1.4140 0.04427 215 145 51 19
101 And this next piece is for my ex-wife. 1.4138 0.04665 203 139 44 20
102 The next selection is my own composition,'Rhapsody in Black and Blue'. 1.4136 0.04449 220 150 49 21
103 I shall say this only once. Cell phones off! 1.4133 0.04785 196 135 41 20
104 Let's see how many of youse remember dis one… 1.4130 0.04219 230 154 57 19
105 What it lacks in subtlety it gains in punch. 1.4127 0.04496 189 124 52 13
106 I was told to expect a tough crowd. 1.4123 0.04279 211 139 57 15
107 I'll conclude with Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4120 0.04312 216 144 55 17
108 If you think this looks difficult, wait till you see me play the harp. 1.4115 0.04406 226 155 49 22
109 I am very happy to be back here in Madison Square Garden 1.4115 0.04406 226 155 49 22
110 It was at that moment,Ted realized he had put his boxing gloves on instead of his tuxedo pants. Again. 1.4115 0.04665 209 145 42 22
111 I'm done tickling them. 1.4106 0.04597 207 142 45 20
112 This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. 1.4101 0.04584 217 151 43 23
113 This next piece is a bit heavy-handed. 1.4097 0.04255 227 153 55 19
114 For my encore, Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4095 0.04744 210 148 38 24
115 Tonight I'll be playing Chopin's Nocturne in C#, D, D#, E, and F Minor. 1.4093 0.04844 215 155 32 28
116 I started out tickling the ivories ... now I like to beat the crap out of them! 1.4093 0.04298 237 163 51 23
117 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Leonard Bernstein. 1.4089 0.04555 203 138 47 18
118 I will now play for you Mozart's little-known "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.4089 0.04660 203 140 43 20
119 I will now perform "Dance of the Sugar Ray Plum Fairy". 1.4083 0.04329 218 147 53 18
120 And the hits just keep coming. 1.4076 0.04480 211 144 48 19
121 Before I begin I want to thank my piano teacher, Mike Tyson. 1.4074 0.04674 189 128 45 16
122 I just play the hits. 1.4072 0.04335 221 150 52 19
123 The ski boots are making it difficult to work the pedals. 1.4070 0.04780 199 139 39 21
124 Could somebody scratch my nose? 1.4067 0.04459 209 142 49 18
125 Handel with care 1.4064 0.04709 187 127 44 16
126 I'm not so much tickling the ivory as I am pounding them into submission. 1.4061 0.04226 229 155 55 19
127 One of my greatest hits... 1.4053 0.04251 227 154 54 19
128 Just wait until after intermission; that’s when the gloves come off! 1.4052 0.04186 232 157 56 19
129 I was told to be careful - some of the keys are sharp. 1.4051 0.04684 195 134 43 18
130 And now, my rendition of the crap these kids are listening to nowadays. 1.4049 0.04776 205 145 37 23
131 This is Mozart's Concerto in G minor, A major, D minor and C#. 1.4044 0.04547 225 159 41 25
132 For this next fugue I am going to take the gloves off. 1.4038 0.04674 208 146 40 22
133 The next piece is a new work titled "A day at the White House". 1.4030 0.04635 201 139 43 19
134 Sir, would you mind not ringing that bell before every movement? 1.4028 0.04374 211 143 51 17
135 Ladies and Gentlemen,.. Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.4027 0.04377 221 152 49 20
136 Can somebody adjust my tie? 1.4024 0.04917 169 115 40 14
137 There are no white notes; there are no black notes; there are just... notes. 1.4020 0.04557 199 136 46 17
138 And now, Mozart's "A Little Fight Music" 1.4019 0.04479 214 148 46 20
139 Can ANYONE name that tune ?? Anyone ?? Anyone ?? 1.4018 0.04646 224 161 36 27
140 This is dedicated to the critics who thought my last performance lacked finesse. 1.4017 0.04221 229 156 54 19
141 Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.4010 0.04825 202 144 35 23
142 I guarantee: Beethoven is going down in the 5th. 1.4000 0.04564 195 133 46 16
143 Anyone can play with his bare hands. 1.4000 0.04427 200 135 50 15
144 Howard had gravely misunderstood what the club manager meant by "dueling pianos." 1.4000 0.05038 185 132 32 21
145 What would you have done if your teacher kept hitting your fingers? 1.3991 0.04511 218 153 43 22
146 Who requested a fight song? 1.3990 0.04477 193 130 49 14
147 I thought you said FIGHT of the bumblebee. 1.3990 0.04712 193 134 41 18
148 And now for a piece my two year old son wrote 1.3982 0.04325 221 152 50 19
149 This piece is called 'Flight of the Elephant.' 1.3981 0.04635 216 154 38 24
150 This next piece is titled "Ode To My Parents Who Could Not Agree On After School Activities" 1.3980 0.04465 201 137 48 16
151 Sorry sir, but "My Way" means my way. 1.3972 0.04324 214 146 51 17
152 Can I get a page turner in here?? 1.3971 0.04526 204 141 45 18
153 The inspiration for my next piece comes from being bullied on my way to piano lessons. 1.3971 0.04418 204 139 49 16
154 I’m just gonna knock out a few tunes for you. 1.3970 0.04607 199 138 43 18
155 I coulda been a cadenza." 1.3966 0.05099 179 128 31 20
156 Any other hecklers out there? I thought not. 1.3964 0.04310 222 153 50 19
157 My father wanted me to box and my mother wanted me to play the piano. I call this piece The Regrettable Compromise. 1.3963 0.04331 217 149 50 18
158 I call this number “Rhapsody in Black and Blue” 1.3960 0.04278 202 135 54 13
159 I will only be playing my hits. 1.3956 0.04360 225 157 47 21
160 Maim that tune. 1.3952 0.04633 210 149 39 22
161 I plan to take Beethoven in the Ninth. 1.3952 0.04483 210 146 45 19
162 You mean it isn't "'Fight'" of the Bumblebee?" 1.3951 0.04508 205 142 45 18
163 I tend to fight Bach. 1.3950 0.04588 200 139 43 18
164 And now for a little Rockymaninoff. 1.3944 0.04386 213 147 48 18
165 And now, my new arrangement of 'Hail to the Chief.' 1.3934 0.05131 183 133 28 22
166 This song is dedicated to my mother-in-law.... 1.3927 0.04378 191 128 51 12
167 Oh, THAT kind of dueling pianos. 1.3922 0.04521 204 142 44 18
168 Now, for the grand finale—my blindfold, please. 1.3921 0.04237 227 157 51 19
169 For my next song I'll play something from the early Trump years, Covfefe, in g-minor. 1.3920 0.04764 199 142 36 21
170 We'll start on the count of three -- and, of course, finish on the count of ten. 1.3919 0.04352 222 155 47 20
171 Any other stupid requests? 1.3918 0.04686 194 136 40 18
172 This next one goes out to all my critics 1.3909 0.04185 220 150 54 16
173 It’s not like you can hear me over your phones anyhow. 1.3909 0.04905 197 143 31 23
174 It’s an experimental piece. 1.3904 0.04628 187 129 43 15
175 Now, the Philip Glass variations on Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.3900 0.04637 200 141 40 19
176 I coulda been a conductor. 1.3899 0.04310 218 151 49 18
177 My next song is "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3897 0.04627 213 153 37 23
178 And now, Rossini's earlier and lesser-known work, The Boxer of Seville. 1.3892 0.04479 203 141 45 17
179 I tell ya, I coulda been somebody... I coulda been a conductor! 1.3889 0.04614 198 139 41 18
180 Tonight, I will finally give this piano what it has deserved for years. 1.3889 0.04832 198 143 33 22
181 And now the theme from Rocky, as it was meant to be played. 1.3886 0.04609 211 151 38 22
182 Now for my take on Gershwin, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue”. 1.3883 0.04431 206 143 46 17
183 The critic from the Times will not be joining us this evening. 1.3883 0.04907 188 135 33 20
184 I can't start without my page turner! 1.3881 0.04244 219 151 51 17
185 And for my next piece, "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3871 0.04271 217 150 50 17
186 No other pianist would even attempt this. 1.3867 0.04350 225 159 45 21
187 This is my concerto in 15 rounds. 1.3867 0.04067 225 153 57 15
188 Subtlety and nuance are so overrated. 1.3864 0.04758 176 122 40 14
189 My version of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". 1.3861 0.04599 202 143 40 19
190 Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my first ever Pay-Per-View event... 1.3861 0.04436 202 140 46 16
191 If I hear one more cell phone ringing, the gloves come off! 1.3858 0.04846 197 143 32 22
192 I've found these to be enormously helpful in performing Bartok. 1.3857 0.04155 210 142 55 13
193 I shall now play "Flight of the elephant." 1.3854 0.04755 205 149 33 23
194 My next piece will be “Fight of the Bumblebee” 1.3854 0.04389 205 142 47 16
195 And now, a Chopin nocturne in C, D, E, F and very probably G. 1.3853 0.04397 231 166 41 24
196 And now, an ode to my ex-wife. 1.3846 0.04603 195 137 41 17
197 I will now perform 'Rhapsody in Black & Blue' 1.3846 0.04213 221 153 51 17
198 I call this next one “An Ode to 2018.” 1.3839 0.04406 224 160 42 22
199 Tonight, only hits. 1.3836 0.04072 232 160 55 17
200 Here’s the tricky part. 1.3836 0.03979 232 158 59 15
201 Yeah. I’m that good. 1.3836 0.04337 219 154 46 19
202 I was told my tunes weren't punchy enough. 1.3833 0.04679 180 125 41 14
203 I can't Handel this. 1.3833 0.04407 227 163 41 23
204 I dedicate this next piece to the critics." 1.3831 0.04503 201 141 43 17
205 What? It’s FLIGHT of the Bumblebee? 1.3830 0.04783 188 134 36 18
206 And now, the hits. 1.3829 0.04974 175 125 33 17
207 Now a little something from Dukes Ellington. 1.3827 0.04526 196 137 43 16
208 Why yes, it IS a player piano. Why do you ask? 1.3825 0.04315 217 152 47 18
209 I get a lot of criticism for this next one. 1.3824 0.04509 204 144 42 18
210 No need to turn off your cell phones. 1.3824 0.04509 204 144 42 18
211 Will someone ring the bell so I can start? 1.3821 0.04177 212 145 53 14
212 The finale is a knockout. 1.3818 0.04174 220 152 52 16
213 Could you turn the page, please? 1.3818 0.04368 220 156 44 20
214 Now I'd like to knock out a few requests. 1.3810 0.04821 189 136 34 19
215 For this next one I'll need a volunteer. 1.3803 0.04567 213 154 37 22
216 And now, The Ill-Tempered Clavier. 1.3803 0.04369 213 150 45 18
217 Next critic? 1.3803 0.04318 213 149 47 17
218 I'm the guest pianist at the Trump Family Christmas Party. 1.3795 0.04710 195 140 36 19
219 You want to step up on the stage and say that, sir? 1.3795 0.04309 224 159 45 20
220 This next piece is titled Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3795 0.04401 224 161 41 22
221 Alex Ross wrote last week that I played as if wearing boxing gloves. This next piece is for Alex. 1.3795 0.03868 224 150 63 11
222 I seem to have Baroque the piano. 1.3790 0.04566 219 160 35 24
223 And now, 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3785 0.04501 214 154 39 21
224 And now, a new composition, "Ode to Trump." 1.3785 0.04302 214 150 47 17
225 This next piece is called A Presidential Press Conference. 1.3785 0.04402 214 152 43 19
226 And now, the 1812 Overture as it was meant to be played. 1.3784 0.04710 185 131 38 16
227 And now for Chopin with some punch. 1.3784 0.04647 185 130 40 15
228 My other instrument is the hammered dulcimer. 1.3782 0.04629 193 137 39 17
229 I shall select Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3781 0.04327 201 139 48 14
230 This next piece is a knockout. 1.3777 0.04531 188 131 43 14
231 And now, the Gold’s Gym Variations 1.3775 0.04608 204 147 37 20
232 I call this piece Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3775 0.04393 204 143 45 16
233 Go on, request Piano Man man again. I dare you. 1.3769 0.04527 199 141 41 17
234 And now, a Victor Borge etude from his deconstructive period. 1.3768 0.04294 207 144 48 15
235 And now something for the critics 1.3767 0.04336 215 152 45 18
236 And now, 'Toddlers Pounding on Piano', an original score by my 3-year old twins. 1.3762 0.04142 210 144 53 13
237 I will now perform Bach's little-know Golden Gloves Variations. 1.3757 0.04512 189 132 43 14
238 I call it "Fur Ali." 1.3756 0.04430 205 145 43 17
239 The ivories have announced they no longer want to be tickled. 1.3756 0.04202 221 155 49 17
240 And now, Beethoven's 5th Round! 1.3750 0.04437 208 148 42 18
241 Give me a minute while I break in this new piano. 1.3744 0.04404 203 143 44 16
242 This one goes out to my ex wife. 1.3731 0.04503 193 136 42 15
243 It's a percussion instrument, dammit! 1.3725 0.04441 204 145 42 17
244 The best Opus is a good defence. 1.3723 0.04523 188 132 42 14
245 This next tune is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3714 0.04023 210 143 56 11
246 I think you'll find this one less subtle than my earlier works 1.3707 0.04258 205 143 48 14
247 This last movement opens with a mandatory eight count. 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
248 Next, Gershwin's Rhapsody in Black and Blue 1.3700 0.04210 227 162 46 19
249 This next piece is my homage to cognitive dissonance. 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
250 Rhapsody in black and blue. 1.3700 0.04029 200 135 56 9
251 Due to the present social environment I can no longer tickle the ivories 1.3698 0.04515 192 136 41 15
252 I am going to play an original composition that I am sure you will love, if you know what's good for you. 1.3696 0.04652 184 131 38 15
253 And now for George Gershwin's 'Rhapsody in Bruise.' 1.3696 0.04840 184 134 32 18
254 The next one goes something like this. 1.3696 0.04215 230 165 45 20
255 This piece is a knockout. 1.3695 0.04341 203 143 45 15
256 I call this one 'Crippling the Ivories'. 1.3694 0.04276 222 159 44 19
257 I will be performing the cannon solo from Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture transcribed for piano. 1.3692 0.04465 195 138 42 15
258 You see, I only play in my spar time. 1.3689 0.04241 206 144 48 14
259 First, I like to show the piano who’s boss. 1.3687 0.04417 198 140 43 15
260 The conductor and I have worked out our artistic differences. 1.3687 0.03933 217 148 58 11
261 Has it been tuned? 1.3684 0.04360 209 149 43 17
262 And now. Gershwin as you've never heard him. 1.3679 0.04435 193 136 43 14
263 And for my next piece, I will need a new piano. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
264 "This next piece will be played in rounds." 1.3668 0.04281 199 139 47 13
265 If you don't like my playing, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. 1.3667 0.04182 210 147 49 14
266 And now Beethoven’s sonata in C, B, Bb, A and G#. 1.3665 0.04381 221 161 39 21
267 And now for some of my greatest hits. 1.3665 0.04238 221 158 45 18
268 And now for my sonata in C, C sharp, D, E, and F. 1.3663 0.04679 202 149 32 21
269 Can you hear me now ? 1.3663 0.04408 202 144 42 16
270 I am also a neurosurgeon. 1.3662 0.04350 213 153 42 18
271 I am now going to play a piano interpretation of Donald Trump’s presidency. 1.3659 0.04830 205 155 25 25
272 And now, Beethoven in the 5th. 1.3657 0.04306 216 155 43 18
273 You should see the other piano 1.3654 0.04263 208 147 46 15
274 For my next hit... 1.3653 0.04010 219 152 54 13
275 This next little number will knock you out. 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
276 And now, 'Eine Kleine Knock-out-musik' 1.3651 0.04558 189 135 39 15
277 I have wrestled with Tchaikovsky my entire life, but tonight I'm going to clobber him!" 1.3649 0.04166 211 148 49 14
278 Good evening and welcome to our first Mixed Musical Arts competition. 1.3646 0.04384 192 135 44 13
279 Tonight, I go 10 rounds with Liszt 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
280 I dedicate this next number to everyone who believed I coulda been a contender. 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
281 I dare you to keep your cell phone on. 1.3641 0.04337 195 137 45 13
282 The next piece is from the Maestro's black and blue period. 1.3641 0.04457 195 139 41 15
283 This next tune may ring a bell. 1.3641 0.04289 217 156 43 18
284 Bach off. 1.3641 0.04289 217 156 43 18
285 Now, for the fight song. 1.3636 0.04409 198 141 42 15
286 So what? Beethoven was deaf. 1.3636 0.04524 198 143 38 17
287 That's it! The gloves are coming off. 1.3636 0.04405 209 151 40 18
288 Where is my page turner? 1.3636 0.04136 209 146 50 13
289 Mom, you and Dad are going to have to reach an agreement as to what you want me to be. 1.3632 0.04360 212 153 41 18
290 While I drink a glass of water. 1.3632 0.04203 212 150 47 15
291 After all those Christmas carols, this one is for Boxing Day 1.3632 0.04360 212 153 41 18
292 This next song begins with a standing eight count 1.3632 0.04128 201 139 51 11
293 I like to think that I legato like a butterfly and staccato like bee. 1.3632 0.04584 201 147 35 19
294 And now a piece by Sugar Ray Charles... 1.3632 0.04538 190 136 39 15
295 And now, a little Rockymaninoff. 1.3631 0.04929 179 132 29 18
296 LLLET'S GET READY TO CRESCENDOOOOOOO!!!! 1.3628 0.04440 226 168 34 24
297 "Do I hear a request for Rhapsody in Black and Blue?" 1.3628 0.04265 215 154 44 17
298 And now I shall play Beethoven's Fist. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
299 Before I begin, are there any critics in the audience tonight? 1.3627 0.04547 193 139 38 16
300 I call this next piece "Beethoven's Fist". 1.3625 0.04122 240 174 45 21
301 And now I’d like to play for you some of my greatest hits. 1.3624 0.04080 229 163 49 17
302 I dedicate this last tune to the guy snoring in row one 1.3620 0.04327 221 161 40 20
303 You shoulda seen the other Steinway! 1.3620 0.04133 221 157 48 16
304 ...and now Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor. And also in A Major, B Minor, D Minor, E Minor, F Major and G Major. Just because I can. 1.3620 0.04327 221 161 40 20
305 My therapist told me the way to treat performance anxiety is to imagine my worst fear. 1.3619 0.04335 210 151 42 17
306 Next I am going to play one of my smash hits 1.3618 0.04332 199 141 44 14
307 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3613 0.04394 191 135 43 13
308 And now... a medley of big hits. 1.3613 0.04578 191 138 37 16
309 Inspired by a recent court order, I call this piece "Anger Management" 1.3611 0.04578 180 128 39 13
310 It'll be three rounds of Bach and then the gloves come off. 1.3611 0.04249 216 155 44 17
311 This next piece consists of twelve rounds. 1.3608 0.04347 194 137 44 13
312 This first piece will be a knockout. 1.3607 0.04071 244 177 46 21
313 And as promised, my finale is a real knockout. 1.3606 0.04144 208 146 49 13
314 I love pounding the ivories. 1.3606 0.04255 208 148 45 15
315 And now, a flurry of left jabs in G-minor. 1.3605 0.04074 233 167 48 18
316 And now I’d like to bang out a few of my favorite tunes. 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
317 Can I get a volunteer to turn pages....? 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
318 The sound is terrible, but I get way less hecklers. 1.3602 0.03992 211 146 54 11
319 I've been told you're a tough audience. 1.3602 0.04104 211 148 50 13
320 And now for the younger members of the audience, a few death metal classics. 1.3602 0.04318 211 152 42 17
321 Clearly, I am the Greatest. 1.3598 0.04171 214 152 47 15
322 Great, I'm having another anxiety dream. 1.3598 0.04572 214 160 31 23
323 And, now for something completely different. 1.3598 0.03955 214 148 55 11
324 'This piece knocked me out the first time I heard it." 1.3596 0.04438 203 147 39 17
325 I do it my way! 1.3594 0.04026 217 152 52 13
326 We're doing the 1812 .... couldn't afford the cannons 1.3594 0.04375 192 136 43 13
327 This next piece was composed by the most talented lobster I ever met. 1.3594 0.04437 192 137 41 14
328 And now, a few of my greatest hits. 1.3591 0.04624 181 130 37 14
329 Tonight, I've a score to settle with the piano. 1.3589 0.04128 209 147 49 13
330 It's a variation I call 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
331 Believe it or not, that was a little tune I just knocked out. 1.3584 0.04064 226 161 49 16
332 Now is there ANYONE ELSE who thinks they want to leave before my recital is over ??? 1.3582 0.04411 201 145 40 16
333 For my final piece, I'd like to play for you Mozart's 'Requiem for a Heavyweight.' 1.3581 0.04359 215 157 39 19
334 My next number may lack subtlety but it more than makes up for it in punch. 1.3580 0.04503 176 124 41 11
335 Tonight, I will not be 'tickling the ivories' as they say... 1.3578 0.04252 204 145 45 14
336 And now, mauler 1.3575 0.04521 179 127 40 12
337 This next piece is for the critic who called me a 'lightweight.' 1.3571 0.03886 224 156 56 12
338 This next piece is by my two-year-old toddler. 1.3571 0.04328 210 152 41 17
339 And now, a touching musical tribute to the great Muhammad Ali. 1.3568 0.04437 213 157 36 20
340 And now for a few of my greatest hits... 1.3565 0.04292 216 157 41 18
341 This one was written by my three-year-old 1.3565 0.04292 216 157 41 18
342 I will now play the theme from Rocky as it was meant to be played. 1.3564 0.04392 202 146 40 16
343 Oh, I wouldn't say that I "tickle" the ivories. 1.3561 0.04508 205 151 35 19
344 This will be easy, tying my tie was the difficult task. 1.3561 0.04178 205 145 47 13
345 I float like a butterfly and sting like a B-sharp. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
346 I was misled about how duelling pianos worked. 1.3558 0.04247 208 149 44 15
347 I feel like I'm fighting the music. 1.3558 0.04302 208 150 42 16
348 And now the Minuet in C, C sharp, D, D sharp, E, F, F sharp 1.3558 0.04461 208 153 36 19
349 Turns out the ivories prefer to be roughed up a little. 1.3554 0.03960 242 174 50 18
350 I'd like to dedicate this next piece to my wife of 36 years. 1.3553 0.04411 197 142 40 15
351 And now for something a little more dissonant. 1.3550 0.04247 200 142 45 13
352 This one's called "Eine Kleine Knockout-musik." 1.3550 0.04421 200 145 39 16
353 You wanna come up here and say that? 1.3548 0.04325 217 159 39 19
354 Now I'd like to pound out some old favorites. 1.3548 0.04123 217 155 47 15
355 And now a little-known piece by John Cage. 1.3547 0.04645 203 152 30 21
356 And now, Cacophony Number 9 in E minor. 1.3547 0.04204 203 144 46 13
357 I call it pugilissimo. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
358 If you’re looking for treble, you found it. 1.3542 0.04303 192 136 44 12
359 This next exuberant piece dates to Mozart's toddler years. 1.3541 0.04284 209 151 42 16
360 And now for some Rockymaninoff. 1.3538 0.04380 195 140 41 14
361 I like to play this one Pugilisimo 1.3538 0.04080 212 150 49 13
362 We're recording this one as a boxed set. 1.3537 0.04019 229 164 49 16
363 You should a looked out for me Charlie. I could a been a conductor. 1.3535 0.04508 198 145 36 17
364 Tonight I’d like to play a medley of my hits. 1.3535 0.04334 198 142 42 14
365 Wait...wait...for the punch line! 1.3535 0.04334 198 142 42 14
366 I miss the days when just tickling the ivory was enough. 1.3535 0.04251 215 156 42 17
367 Go ahead. Ask me to play Piano Man. I want you to. 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
368 This should settle the score! 1.3529 0.04068 221 158 48 15
369 My first selection is "Blunt Force Trauma, in E-Minor." 1.3527 0.04138 241 178 41 22
370 I've always loved dueling pianos. 1.3527 0.04419 207 152 37 18
371 I strongly urge everyone to turn off their cell phone! 1.3527 0.04365 207 151 39 17
372 This tune should ring a bell. 1.3526 0.04581 190 139 35 16
373 And finally, the theme from Rocky. 1.3524 0.04373 210 154 38 18
374 And now J.S. Bach's – The Ill-Tempered Clavier 1.3523 0.04348 193 138 42 13
375 Piano Concerto by Pugilini 1.3522 0.04052 230 166 47 17
376 Oh! You meant BACH'S music? 1.3518 0.04545 199 147 34 18
377 This next piece is called Sonata in C, D, E, F, G, and B Flat Minor. 1.3516 0.04659 182 133 34 15
378 Well, fine, I don't think you're a very good audience. 1.3515 0.04440 202 148 37 17
379 I'm just going to punch it up a bit. 1.3515 0.04094 202 142 49 11
380 And now, as promised, a knockout performance 1.3514 0.04152 222 161 44 17
381 Welcome to an evening of mixed martial arts and music. 1.3514 0.04103 222 160 46 16
382 For my next number, I’ll need a volunteer from the audience.... 1.3512 0.04053 205 144 50 11
383 Now for my knockout finale. 1.3512 0.04338 205 149 40 16
384 And now, for a rather punchy tune . . . 1.3511 0.04425 188 135 40 13
385 And now... a medley of my favorite hits 1.3509 0.04075 228 165 46 17
386 I wish to prove wrong the critic who said I played as if I were wearing boxing gloves 1.3509 0.03830 228 160 56 12
387 And now for something with a bit of a punch. 1.3508 0.04183 191 134 47 10
388 Hey, don't laugh. It's a lot easier than Chief of Staff. 1.3507 0.04250 211 153 42 16
389 'I'd like to dedicate this next number to my ex-wife." 1.3505 0.04510 194 142 36 16
390 This next tune was written by Mike Tyson, who, I'm told, plays by ear. 1.3504 0.03738 254 181 57 16
391 And now for a punchy tune! 1.3502 0.04115 217 156 46 15
392 I float like a butterfly and sting like B flat. 1.3500 0.04413 200 146 38 16
393 And to conclude tonight's program of heavyweight composers... 1.3500 0.04057 200 140 50 10
394 Could someone please straighten my tie? 1.3500 0.04355 200 145 40 15
395 And now, “Flight of the butterfly, by Muhammad Ali. 1.3500 0.04413 200 146 38 16
396 My record against Bartok is 10 wins, 2 losses, and one audience walkout. 1.3498 0.04137 223 162 44 17
397 It's hard to follow a banjo-playing elephant 1.3498 0.04195 203 145 45 13
398 This next one's not subtle, but it's powerful. 1.3496 0.03799 226 158 57 11
399 Anyone want to critique my performance now 1.3491 0.04127 212 152 46 14
400 This piece is called Requiem for the Presidency. 1.3487 0.04549 195 144 34 17
401 This is a punchy little number. 1.3484 0.03958 221 157 51 13
402 One more comment like that and these gloves are coming off. 1.3480 0.04235 204 147 43 14
403 I'm sorry. All I know are fight songs. 1.3480 0.04178 204 146 45 13
404 From my boxed set of recordings. 1.3480 0.04348 204 149 39 16
405 And now, 'How I Feel About The Little Drummer Boy.' 1.3478 0.04092 230 168 44 18
406 And now for another piece composed by Donald J Trump 1.3478 0.04183 230 170 40 20
407 I will now demonstrate how to knock out a tune. 1.3478 0.04680 184 136 32 16
408 This next piece is called "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3476 0.04468 210 157 33 20
409 Well, on the plus side, it’s only a MINUTE Waltz. 1.3476 0.04205 210 152 43 15
410 This one is for you mother 1.3476 0.04519 210 158 31 21
411 I’ve finished writing the verses, but I still need the right hook. 1.3474 0.04320 213 157 38 18
412 See if you can name this one! 1.3472 0.03964 216 153 51 12
413 Trust me. It’s all in the wrist. 1.3469 0.04353 196 142 40 14
414 You'll find this next piece has a little extra punch. 1.3464 0.04500 179 129 38 12
415 I'm done tickling the ivories. 1.3460 0.04135 211 152 45 14
416 Let's have a clean fugue, and no hitting below middle C. 1.3458 0.04303 214 158 38 18
417 I'm done with tickling the ivories. 1.3456 0.04055 217 156 47 14
418 I’m a professional. Please don’t try this at home. 1.3454 0.04381 194 141 39 14
419 I will now play our new national anthem. 1.3454 0.04618 194 145 31 18
420 Could I ask someone to retrieve the mouthguard from the soundboard? 1.3452 0.04274 197 142 42 13
421 The insurance on my hands hasn’t been processed yet. 1.3448 0.04358 203 149 38 16
422 And now, for something a little less intricate. 1.3448 0.04301 203 148 40 15
423 Tickling isn't what these ivories like. 1.3447 0.04201 206 149 43 14
424 This next piece was written by Victor Borge. 1.3445 0.04047 209 149 48 12
425 Now, a brief interlude while I make a momentous career choice. 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
426 First, I thought I'd knock out a few show tunes. 1.3440 0.03987 218 156 49 13
427 I'm prepared to defend tonight's choice of music. 1.3438 0.04162 224 165 41 18
428 This piece comes from the West Wing of the White House. 1.3438 0.04210 224 166 39 19
429 Everyone else tickles the ivories" 1.3438 0.04220 192 137 44 11
430 I could've been a contender if it weren't for those damn piano lessons. 1.3436 0.04112 195 138 47 10
431 I will now play a combo of Mozart Concertos in A minor, D minor, and G major. 1.3435 0.04131 230 170 41 19
432 Excuse me while I knock out a few songs. 1.3434 0.04316 198 144 40 14
433 I only play the hits 1.3433 0.04385 201 148 37 16
434 This won't be pretty. 1.3433 0.04328 201 147 39 15
435 I haven't practiced this piece much. I figured I'd just knock it out. 1.3431 0.04111 204 146 46 12
436 Beethoven’s 9th Round 1.3430 0.04295 207 152 39 16
437 I will now play Chopin's Nocturne in Be-Flattened. 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
438 My next piece is Piano Sonata No. 8 in somewhere between A Minor and E Major." 1.3429 0.04409 210 157 34 19
439 For my next piece I’ll play Cacophony in D minor. 1.3429 0.04357 210 156 36 18
440 Now for my biggest hit 1.3427 0.04261 213 157 39 17
441 Indeed, I did not quit my day job. 1.3427 0.04313 213 158 37 18
442 My next piece is entitled..."To Hell With Nuance" . 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
443 My next piece is dedicated to that miserable, heartless, brainless critic in the fifth row center, who had the Gaul to say I played with a heavy hand. 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
444 If you grew up on the streets of Philadelphia, you'll certainly appreciate this next piece. 1.3422 0.04425 187 136 38 13
445 I gift from my piano teacher just moment ago. 1.3422 0.04334 225 170 33 22
446 I would like to play a little song I wrote that goes nothing like this. 1.3422 0.04146 225 166 41 18
447 I thought this piece could use a little more punch. 1.3420 0.04202 193 138 44 11
448 Oh, sure, when Glenn Gould does it it's 'eccentric,' but when I do it you say 'Larry has dementia pugilistica.' 1.3420 0.04512 193 143 34 16
449 Ladies and gentlemen, I've had a request for the theme from Rocky. 1.3416 0.04310 202 148 39 15
450 And for the finale, here’s a little something that my 3 year old banged out. 1.3415 0.04094 205 147 46 12
451 Tonight The 1812 Overture. Just the cannons firing part. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
452 I'm going to regale you folks with a few of my best hits. 1.3412 0.04071 211 152 46 13
453 Hecklers are welcome to join me onstage. 1.3412 0.04234 211 155 40 16
454 And now, Sonata for Ali. 1.3411 0.04244 214 158 39 17
455 And now for a punchy little number. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
456 And now for some of my boxer shorts. 1.3410 0.04202 217 160 40 17
457 And now, I’ll be playing the hits. 1.3407 0.04506 182 133 36 13
458 My money's on the piano. 1.3406 0.03900 229 165 50 14
459 It says forte. 1.3403 0.03937 238 174 47 17
460 Rocky-maninoff . 1.3402 0.04492 194 144 34 16
461 We now present a medley of "Madame Butterfly" and "Flight of the Bumblebee" as performed by Muhammad Ali. 1.3402 0.04247 194 140 42 12
462 Now, I’d like to hit you with something new! 1.3401 0.04078 197 140 47 10
463 And in the final movement, I take off the gloves and just go wild. 1.3401 0.04384 197 145 37 15
464 For you, Mr. President, very large clumps of only white keys. 1.3400 0.04395 200 148 36 16
465 I play by ear. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
466 This is The Bad-Tempered Clavier 1.3399 0.04567 203 154 29 20
467 My next piece is George Foreman's concerto for pianos with really fat keys. 1.3398 0.04358 206 153 36 17
468 Does anyone else have any criticism? 1.3397 0.04150 209 152 43 14
469 I give you Rockymaninoff. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
470 Would someone be a darling and light my candelabra? 1.3395 0.04227 215 159 39 17
471 This next one, I'll play by ear. 1.3394 0.04031 218 158 46 14
472 Will someone hit the bell? 1.3394 0.04045 221 161 45 15
473 Now I’d like to knock out a little tune for you. 1.3394 0.03994 221 160 47 14
474 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall take a jab at the piano 1.3392 0.03717 227 160 57 10
475 I had to fight for this gig. 1.3391 0.03886 230 166 50 14
476 This one's got a great hook. 1.3387 0.04499 186 137 35 14
477 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2,” with all notes performed simultaneously. 1.3385 0.04352 195 143 38 14
478 Another knockout performance. 1.3384 0.04185 198 143 43 12
479 Next up, Theme From Rocky. 1.3384 0.04061 198 141 47 10
480 Opus 12, Round 7 1.3383 0.04319 201 148 38 15
481 And now for "Rhapsody in Black and Blue" 1.3383 0.04202 201 146 42 13
482 I'll play your request, maam, but for future reference it's "*Flight* of the Bumblebee" 1.3382 0.04331 204 151 37 16
483 This tune is dedicated to the President 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
484 I will finish with my own composition, “Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.3382 0.04286 207 153 38 16
485 I fought the song and the song won 1.3380 0.04406 213 161 32 20
486 This next piece is played in twelve rounds. 1.3380 0.04039 213 154 46 13
487 Here’s a little number I recently knocked out. 1.3379 0.04016 219 159 46 14
488 This next piece is gonna knock you out. 1.3377 0.04100 228 169 41 18
489 This next one is a punchy little tune….” 1.3377 0.04100 228 169 41 18
490 And now for something a little punchier... 1.3376 0.03613 237 167 60 10
491 How can I play with that bright light in my eyes? 1.3368 0.04491 190 141 34 15
492 And this one's for Mother, who made me practice... 1.3367 0.04288 199 146 39 14
493 Yes - It's Rocky the Musical 1.3365 0.04214 208 153 40 15
494 Sorry, I only do fight songs. 1.3365 0.03892 211 150 51 10
495 This next number is really going to knock you out. 1.3364 0.03913 214 153 50 11
496 And now a childhood favorite. 1.3364 0.04077 214 156 44 14
497 For my next number I am going to really pound the keys. 1.3364 0.04143 217 160 41 16
498 The next piece is dedicated to my former agent 1.3364 0.03948 220 159 48 13
499 My next piece is Mozart's Piano Concerto 22 in E Flat Major. Unfortunately, you will not recognize it. 1.3363 0.03964 223 162 47 14
500 and now, from the ring cycle... 1.3362 0.04183 232 175 36 21
501 Round 4 will be Chopin 1.3362 0.04010 235 174 43 18
502 This is from my greatest hits album. 1.3352 0.04427 182 133 37 12
503 Did I hear a request for a fight song? 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
504 And now, Eine Kleine Nacht Out Musi 1.3351 0.04422 194 144 35 15
505 I'd like to play you some Rocky-maninoff 1.3350 0.04270 200 147 39 14
506 Next I will play a special piece for Boxing Day. 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
507 And now, J.S. Bach's BAD-Tempered Clavier. 1.3349 0.04208 212 157 39 16
508 I'm warning you coughers, one more sound and the gloves are coming off. 1.3349 0.04261 212 158 37 17
509 That’s the last time I write “OK” to my dyslexic agent. 1.3349 0.04313 212 159 35 18
510 And now a selection from my boxed set. 1.3349 0.04313 212 159 35 18
511 Just hitting a few notes 1.3349 0.04007 215 156 46 13
512 Play chopsticks”? I can’t even hold them 1.3349 0.04127 218 161 41 16
513 Now for a variation from Bach’s Bad-Tempered Clavier. 1.3349 0.03862 218 156 51 11
514 Because I'm tired of wrestling with my muse. 1.3348 0.04098 224 166 41 17
515 The score says attacca con forza. 1.3348 0.04098 224 166 41 17
516 And now, a little something from Punchini. 1.3333 0.04321 204 152 36 16
517 You'll recognize this next piece from my boxed set. 1.3333 0.04092 228 170 40 18
518 That's right, I've been playing the piano with my penis the whole time!" 1.3333 0.04310 219 166 33 20
519 This next piece is by TKO Bach. 1.3333 0.04356 198 147 36 15
520 And now for Philip Glass's ode to Ali. 1.3333 0.04347 213 161 33 19
521 My next composition is played in twelve 3 minute rounds. 1.3333 0.04244 213 159 37 17
522 I shall legato like a butterfly and staccato like a bee.' 1.3333 0.04287 210 157 36 17
523 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B-flat" 1.3333 0.04252 201 148 39 14
524 If Trump can claim he always tells the truth, I can claim the following is a symphony. 1.3333 0.04296 198 146 38 14
525 GGGGGEEEEEEETTTTTT RRRREEEAAAAADDDDY TO RACHMANINOFF!!! 1.3333 0.04084 213 156 43 14
526 You might have heard Chopsticks before, but I’m about to punch it up a little 1.3333 0.04281 195 143 39 13
527 My next piece is played in three minute rounds. 1.3333 0.04521 195 147 31 17
528 This piece calls for more force and less precision. 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
529 And now a little something from the Ring Cycle. 1.3333 0.04098 216 159 42 15
530 And now, the Tyson Variations. 1.3333 0.04208 204 150 40 14
531 For the sake of all of us, let us hope I wake up from this nightmare any time now. 1.3319 0.04131 232 175 37 20
532 My next melody is called Whack-a-Mole 1.3319 0.03969 226 166 45 15
533 Pianist? I thought you asked for a pugilist...! 1.3318 0.04006 223 164 44 15
534 Is there a volunteer to flip the music sheet? 1.3318 0.04056 223 165 42 16
535 Float like Madame Butterfly, sting like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.3318 0.04195 220 165 37 18
536 We've had a request for "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." 1.3318 0.04030 217 159 44 14
537 I call this one 'Beethoven's Fifth Round.' 1.3318 0.04014 214 156 45 13
538 This next song is a knockout. 1.3318 0.03959 214 155 47 12
539 I knocked out this piece in just ten minutes. 1.3318 0.04053 211 154 44 13
540 I will begin with Rhapsody in Ear Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.3318 0.04270 211 158 36 17
541 And now for something modern. 1.3318 0.04216 211 157 38 16
542 This is from my box set. 1.3317 0.04259 208 155 37 16
543 I call it, “Rhapsody in Black and Blue.” 1.3317 0.03956 205 147 48 10
544 My parole officer wasn’t clear on the type of community services I’d be performing tonight. 1.3317 0.04175 202 148 41 13
545 This piece was composed when Mozart was only two. 1.3317 0.04218 199 146 40 13
546 Any requests, Mister President? 1.3317 0.04395 199 149 34 16
547 I'm just going to knock out a couple of tunes. 1.3316 0.04443 196 147 33 16
548 I now present "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3316 0.04501 196 148 31 17
549 I will now play "An etude for two fists, in three rounds" 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
550 This piano is going down by the second movement. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
551 Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry, I just realized that these are my violin gloves. 1.3316 0.04355 190 140 37 13
552 It’s my reminder to think outside the Bachs. 1.3316 0.04468 187 139 34 14
553 Here's something I pounded out just this morning. 1.3304 0.03870 230 168 48 14
554 Not to worry, folks. It’s a player piano. 1.3304 0.04090 224 167 40 17
555 Piano no problem. Tying bow tie is a totally different challenge. 1.3303 0.04129 221 165 39 17
556 For this next piece, I’ll be taking the gloves off! 1.3303 0.03853 218 157 50 11
557 And now I will play all the keys at the same time. 1.3302 0.04158 215 160 39 16
558 And for my next piece, I'll add a blindfold as well! 1.3302 0.03998 215 157 45 13
559 Here are some of my greatest hits. 1.3302 0.04158 215 160 39 16
560 The music critic said my last performance lacked punch 1.3302 0.04037 212 155 44 13
561 All That Jabz. 1.3301 0.04173 206 152 40 14
562 This is my fight song. 1.3300 0.04318 200 149 36 15
563 Let’s get ready to rrrrubato! 1.3300 0.04318 200 149 36 15
564 For this next number I’d like to punch it up a bit. 1.3299 0.04098 194 140 44 10
565 And now "Flight of the Rhinoceros." 1.3299 0.04472 194 146 32 16
566 This sonata is called, “Yo, Adrian.” 1.3297 0.04484 182 135 34 13
567 And now, a selection of greatest hits. 1.3288 0.04063 222 165 41 16
568 This next tune has quite a punch to it. 1.3288 0.03910 222 162 47 13
569 Next is a punchy little tune I wrote myself... 1.3288 0.03838 219 158 50 11
570 I'm asking you to please keep an open mind. 1.3288 0.03946 219 160 46 13
571 Now I shall play, 'The Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3286 0.04129 213 158 40 15
572 I'd like to dedicate the next song to my ex-wife. Trudy, this one's for you. 1.3286 0.04021 213 156 44 13
573 And now, for my next cacophony... 1.3285 0.03924 207 149 48 10
574 And in this corner, playing in at 185 lbs., ... 1.3285 0.04099 207 152 42 13
575 And how am I supposed to turn the page? 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
576 I call this one, “A Fistful of Keys.” 1.3283 0.04103 198 144 43 11
577 I’m told this next piece is a knockout. 1.3283 0.04404 198 149 33 16
578 You've heard the theme. Now it's time for the variations. 1.3282 0.04511 195 148 30 17
579 _Pass the tip jar and the gloves come off. 1.3282 0.04271 195 144 38 13
580 I composed this next piece when I was two. 1.3281 0.04123 192 139 43 10
581 This is a new piece I've worked out. Beethoven's fifth round. 1.3280 0.04166 189 137 42 10
582 And now, if I may, my rendition of “Hail to the Chief”. 1.3280 0.04852 186 145 21 20
583 I shall toy with him throughout the adagio, then knock him out in the sonata. 1.3276 0.03642 232 166 56 10
584 The next piece is my first composition. I first played it at the age of 6 months. My mother named it "Knock it off". 1.3275 0.03925 229 169 45 15
585 I'd like to play you a little something I wrote when I was two and a half. 1.3275 0.03876 229 168 47 14
586 And now, the Hammerklavier Sonata like it's never been hammered before. 1.3274 0.03895 223 163 47 13
587 Okay Jim, you got this. Float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat. 1.3274 0.03946 223 164 45 14
588 Has anyone seen my mouth guard? 1.3274 0.03895 223 163 47 13
589 Next I'll perform a few classical hits. 1.3273 0.03931 220 161 46 13
590 I'll begin our evening of Wagner with 15 rounds in The Ring. 1.3271 0.03950 214 156 46 12
591 And here's a little something that I knocked out this afternoon... 1.3270 0.03987 211 154 45 12
592 I will now float like a butterfly and sting in B. 1.3270 0.04261 211 159 35 17
593 This is by Liszton. 1.3270 0.04099 211 156 41 14
594 For tonight's encore, I am pleased to present to you 'Fight of the Bumblebee' 1.3269 0.03967 208 151 46 11
595 And now for a punchy little tune... 1.3269 0.04083 208 153 42 13
596 I'd like to dedicate this encore to my parents, who forced me to play piano, when I would have preferred then, as now, to be doing something else. 1.3269 0.04304 208 157 34 17
597 This next piece is from Beethoven's welterweight period. 1.3267 0.04106 202 148 42 12
598 I will next perform Rachmaninoff's piano concerto No. 2, in the key of B-flat, A-flat and D-sharp. 1.3267 0.04339 202 152 34 16
599 The next piece is scheduled to go four rounds. 1.3266 0.04023 199 144 45 10
600 I will now play "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.3264 0.04170 193 141 41 11
601 This is from Beethoven's fist. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
602 Yo, Adrian--this sonata's for you. 1.3264 0.03945 239 179 42 18
603 Here's a mashup I call "Eine kleine Nacht-out-musik." 1.3263 0.04280 190 140 38 12
604 And for my next round... 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
605 I call this next piece 'Losing a Bet' 1.3261 0.04638 184 140 28 16
606 You're in for a knockout performance tonight. 1.3260 0.03795 227 165 50 12
607 Let's knock out some tunes! 1.3260 0.04043 227 170 40 17
608 Who clapped? 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
609 And now for Beethoven's Ninth Round. 1.3255 0.03914 212 154 47 11
610 I call it my Concerto in 10 Rounds. 1.3255 0.04082 212 157 41 14
611 And now the theme music from 'ROCKY' the way it was meant to be heard. 1.3254 0.04122 209 155 40 14
612 That last Christmas concerto was by Rachmaninoff. And a now a little something for Boxing Day. 1.3252 0.04331 206 156 33 17
613 It’s hammer time! 1.3251 0.04320 203 153 34 16
614 And now for "The Ill-Tempered Clavier". 1.3251 0.04264 203 152 36 15
615 I need another page-turner. 1.3250 0.04423 200 152 31 17
616 I am practicing for the White House New Year’s party. 1.3250 0.04130 200 147 41 12
617 The next piece is my own take on "Chopsticks" -- I call it "Logs." 1.3250 0.03943 200 144 47 9
618 And now for the main event. Brahm's Requiem for a Heavyweight. 1.3250 0.04006 200 145 45 10
619 I thought the conductor said he wanted a little more punch? 1.3249 0.03981 197 142 46 9
620 A little help please. My fly is open. 1.3249 0.04110 197 144 42 11
621 And now, I will play the theme from Rocky as it was originally composed. 1.3248 0.03717 234 170 52 12
622 At your request: Tyson's "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
623 Tonight’s bout will be a twelve rondo. 1.3245 0.04104 188 136 43 9
624 I'd like to start with the second movement, third round. 1.3243 0.03741 222 160 52 10
625 Let’s get ready to pianooooooooooooooo 1.3242 0.03989 219 162 43 14
626 And now, my Muhammad Ali concerto in, well, every key at once. 1.3242 0.04144 219 165 37 17
627 Let me just knock out a couple of tunes for you. 1.3241 0.03692 216 154 54 8
628 Mesdames et Messieurs, la sonate pour Donald Trump. 1.3239 0.04120 213 159 39 15
629 I guess it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3239 0.04120 213 159 39 15
630 All a song needs is a good hook. 1.3238 0.04215 210 158 36 16
631 This Will Be A Knockout Performance 1.3238 0.03697 210 149 54 7
632 Tonight I'll begin with the Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
633 The next piece is dedicated to my ex-wife who said I wasn't masculine enough. 1.3238 0.04161 210 157 38 15
634 A man hears what he wants to hear And disregards the rest 1.3237 0.03914 207 150 47 10
635 I no longer play by ear. 1.3235 0.04130 204 151 40 13
636 If you think this is bad, I'm also not wearing any pants. 1.3235 0.04188 204 152 38 14
637 Any requests for "Fight of the Bumblebee?" 1.3235 0.03889 204 147 48 9
638 I will now play something by Rocky Maninoff. 1.3234 0.04290 201 151 35 15
639 This is a punchy little tune... 1.3234 0.04112 201 148 41 12
640 I 'm sure they said I was to take on Wagner in the ring. 1.3232 0.04215 198 147 38 13
641 Next - Michael Jackson's "Beat It" 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
642 I pity the fugue! 1.3232 0.04215 198 147 38 13
643 I must warn you in advance about the crescendo. 1.3231 0.03817 229 168 48 13
644 And now ladies and gentleman “ The Trump Sonata.” 1.3231 0.04200 229 176 32 21
645 And to my critics, a sustained beating in D minor." 1.3231 0.04260 195 145 37 13
646 I've been fighting Beethoven all my life. 1.3230 0.04001 226 169 41 16
647 Now I will pummel the ivories. 1.3230 0.03748 226 164 51 11
648 And for my next selection. "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3230 0.03851 226 166 47 13
649 Ohh, Bach? I thought you said "box". 1.3229 0.03976 192 138 46 8
650 I'm not the main event. 1.3229 0.03937 223 165 44 14
651 Did you say "boxer" or "Bach, Sir"?? 1.3229 0.04088 223 168 38 17
652 I thought you said play "box"' not play "Bach's"! 1.3228 0.04542 189 144 29 16
653 Observe, ladies and gentlemen, as I put the 'K.O.' back in Tchaikovsky. 1.3227 0.04026 220 164 41 15
654 Some people said my hands were too small to play piano. Not true. I'm a very good player. Nobody better than me at piano... 1.3224 0.04050 214 159 41 14
655 Once more, with feeling 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
656 Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest. 1.3223 0.03803 211 152 50 9
657 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, a medley of my greatest hits. 1.3222 0.04068 180 129 44 7
658 And now a lullabye 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
659 I'm now going to play 'The Fight of the Bumblebee.' " 1.3221 0.04015 208 153 43 12
660 And now, a quick jab at Rachmaninoff. 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
661 I thought you said Box Prelude and Fugue. 1.3220 0.04284 205 155 34 16
662 In honor of our times I'm playing dischords. 1.3218 0.04155 202 150 39 13
663 The music was lovely, but the pianist was a bit heavy-handed. 1.3218 0.04329 202 153 33 16
664 You want me to come in one measure after the bell, right? 1.3217 0.03803 230 169 48 13
665 Alright, the next time someone throws a tomato, the gloves are coming off. 1.3216 0.04136 199 147 40 12
666 You might be surprised by how subtle and intricate this piece is. 1.3216 0.04075 199 146 42 11
667 And now let me punch out a tune. 1.3216 0.04197 199 148 38 13
668 He was told tickling the ivory is no longer workplace appropriate. 1.3216 0.04012 199 145 44 10
669 And now, a roundhouse from T.K.O. Bach. 1.3216 0.04083 227 172 37 18
670 Most players “tickle” , I choose to pummel. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
671 This next song is a round. 1.3214 0.03923 224 166 44 14
672 I’ll now do my last hit 1.3214 0.04023 224 168 40 16
673 ...and now, "The Black and Blue Danube". 1.3213 0.04061 221 166 39 16
674 I call this next piece, "Pounding Headache". 1.3211 0.04100 218 164 38 16
675 How better to pound the ivories? 1.3211 0.04202 190 140 39 11
676 Next, one of the biggest hits of Rocky Moninoff. 1.3211 0.04136 190 139 41 10
677 I really don't think it's been properly tuned 1.3209 0.03754 215 155 51 9
678 Next I will be performing Rimsky-Korsakov's "Flight of the Bumblebee" in the style of Muhammad Ali. 1.3209 0.03979 215 159 43 13
679 And I'm wearing flippers. 1.3209 0.03979 215 159 43 13
680 Welcome to the Van Cliburn/Mike Tyson piano competition. 1.3208 0.04127 212 159 38 15
681 Now, an atonal piece. 1.3208 0.04072 212 158 40 14
682 Mendelssohn, Mozart, or Marciano? 1.3208 0.04181 212 160 36 16
683 The good thing is I finally stopped chewing my nails 1.3208 0.04127 212 159 38 15
684 This next one is going to be a round. 1.3206 0.03941 209 153 45 11
685 And now Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata...molto pugilissimo! 1.3206 0.04112 209 156 39 14
686 I"ll start with one of my greatest hits. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
687 And now, "Float Like a Butterfly" in B Minor. 1.3204 0.04154 206 154 38 14
688 A pugilistic concerto in B flat. Round one. 1.3204 0.03979 206 151 44 11
689 This rendition will really knock you out. 1.3204 0.03979 206 151 44 11
690 Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm going to pound out a few numbers for you tonight. 1.3202 0.03956 203 148 45 10
691 I'm going to pound one out, now. 1.3202 0.04137 203 151 39 13
692 Anyone else want to face the music? 1.3200 0.04298 200 151 34 15
693 And for my final number, I present Concerto: The Thrilla in Manila, Round 4, in B flat 1.3198 0.03620 222 159 55 8
694 Now I’ll play for you a medley of hits. 1.3198 0.04145 222 169 35 18
695 I'll be going fifteen rondos. 1.3198 0.04223 197 147 37 13
696 Shall I hit it? 1.3196 0.04084 219 165 38 16
697 And now, the lovely Sonata in G-flat, composed by Michael Tyson 1.3196 0.04075 194 142 42 10
698 A brief pause while I respond to a recent review. 1.3194 0.04123 216 163 37 16
699 How about a fight song? 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
700 My next number is a knock out. 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
701 Tonight folks, I'm just going to knock out a little tune. . . 1.3194 0.04313 191 143 35 13
702 Next I'll play a John Cage adaption of the theme from the movie "Rocky". 1.3194 0.04313 191 143 35 13
703 OK, I get it, a little less forte. 1.3192 0.03945 213 157 44 12
704 And now, a collection of my greatest hits. 1.3192 0.04110 213 160 38 15
705 Next, I shall perform George Foreman's Symphony in A Minor 1.3192 0.04110 213 160 38 15
706 Paganini's Pugilisto In D Minor 1.3191 0.04091 188 137 42 9
707 And for my last number this evening, I'll be performing, "Rhapsody in Black And Blue." 1.3188 0.04021 207 153 42 12
708 I love playing Beethoven's 'Hammerklavier Sonata' 1.3188 0.03903 207 151 46 10
709 Well, this is unique. In the last one I was naked! 1.3188 0.04021 207 153 42 12
710 Well, this is going to be rocky. 1.3188 0.04005 229 173 39 17
711 And now, selections from "The Ring Cycle." 1.3186 0.04001 204 150 43 11
712 There will be no heckling tonight. 1.3186 0.04001 204 150 43 11
713 If I hear one more person request "Piano Man'", these gloves are coming off. 1.3186 0.04061 204 151 41 12
714 Brad was asked to knock out a tune. 1.3186 0.04235 204 154 35 15
715 And now, for your enjoyment....The Ring Cycle. 1.3184 0.04450 201 155 28 18
716 I can knock out any tune you name 1.3184 0.03978 201 147 44 10
717 This number will be a knockout! 1.3184 0.03774 245 183 46 16
718 And now, if you don't mind, I'd like to knock out a little Chopin. 1.3180 0.03948 217 161 43 13
719 I call this piece “Sonata for an Untuned Piano in A-flat minor through G major.” 1.3178 0.04040 214 160 40 14
720 Thank you to the White House Correspondents' Association for inviting me to perform at this year's Correspondents' Dinner. 1.3177 0.04230 192 143 37 12
721 I think I'm on the wrong stage. 1.3176 0.03662 233 170 52 11
722 Ladies and Gentlemen,'Beethoven's 5th Round'" 1.3175 0.04023 211 157 41 13
723 Now, 'The Tyson Variations.' 1.3175 0.04188 211 160 35 16
724 The record shows I took the blows And did it my way 1.3173 0.04230 208 158 34 16
725 This is it. This is the nightmare. 1.3172 0.04169 227 175 32 20
726 I call this "The Old One-Two." 1.3172 0.03828 227 168 46 13
727 NOW,CLAIR DI LUNE AS YOUVE NEVER HEARD IT PLAYED BEFORE. 1.3172 0.04026 227 172 38 17
728 Well, you said to make it more punchy! 1.3171 0.03800 205 148 49 8
729 Oh, 'boo' yourself! Let's see you try it! 1.3171 0.04103 205 153 39 13
730 And now a tune by Henry “Boom Boom” Mancini. 1.3168 0.04144 202 151 38 13
731 I guess I can try to knock out some tunes! 1.3168 0.04084 202 150 40 12
732 You want pianissimo? I'll give you pianissimo! 1.3167 0.03949 221 165 42 14
733 Folks, please remember, I am a professional. Do not try this at home. 1.3167 0.03897 221 164 44 13
734 So I promised the composer not to pull any punches. 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
735 Sir, I submit that you would not know a fugue if it hit you in the face. 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
736 Next, the World Premiere of "Get Your Ass Out of Bed!" composed this afternoon by my very own wife. 1.3161 0.04275 193 145 35 13
737 Ladies and gentleman, I will now play for you, "The Ill-Tempered Clavier" 1.3160 0.04171 212 161 35 16
738 My next piece is by Rocky Marcianinoff 1.3160 0.04117 212 160 37 15
739 Knock out a tune? 1.3160 0.04117 212 160 37 15
740 This next piece I call "The old one-two" 1.3158 0.03989 209 155 42 12
741 To anyone who didn't immediately recognize it, that was Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto in B-flat Minor. 1.3156 0.03949 225 169 41 15
742 This might sound a little rocky. 1.3155 0.04086 206 154 39 13
743 And now, a rarely-performed work by an obscure composer ... 1.3155 0.04027 206 153 41 12
744 Does anyone else care to complain about my playing? 1.3155 0.04200 206 156 35 15
745 Rondo Two! 1.3155 0.04167 187 138 39 10
746 . . and I've taken the liberty of consolidating all individual notes so as to not offend the listener who might be sensitive to borrowed folk melodies of identifiable ethnicity. 1.3155 0.04235 187 139 37 11
747 And now for something a little more punchy. 1.3153 0.03775 222 163 48 11
748 I would like to now play a piece by Rocky Maninoff. 1.3153 0.03934 222 166 42 14
749 I felt this tune needed some punch! 1.3153 0.04067 203 151 40 12
750 This should be a lot better than my piccolo playing. 1.3152 0.04211 184 136 38 10
751 This next piece was composed by my cat, Barnabas. 1.3152 0.04550 184 141 28 15
752 You said you wanted a fight song. 1.3151 0.03798 238 178 45 15
753 Look, I was told to pound the keys, and that's what I came here to do. 1.3151 0.03809 219 161 47 11
754 My teacher said it's time to take the gloves off. 1.3150 0.04228 200 151 35 14
755 Next, a tune I composed in tribute to Muhammed Ali, Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3147 0.04212 197 148 36 13
756 This piece is dedicated to those that did not like my previous one 1.3146 0.04046 213 160 39 14
757 I will now go a couple of rounds with Shostakovich 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
758 I'm going to play some Johann Sebastian Box 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
759 I will now play something from my boxed set. 1.3144 0.04193 194 145 37 12
760 It just looks hard. 1.3143 0.04085 210 158 38 14
761 And now one of Schönberg's more challenging pieces... 1.3140 0.04401 207 161 27 19
762 Rough crowd tonight 1.3140 0.04011 207 154 41 12
763 I've never butchered a tune in my life. Bruised one, occasionally. 1.3140 0.03707 207 149 51 7
764 And now, for Tyson's 5th... 1.3136 0.04109 220 168 35 17
765 I will now play an original piece by Frederic Chopin that he played in 1850 when he was 7 month old. 1.3134 0.04200 217 167 32 18
766 Next, Variations on a Theme by Pugilisti. 1.3134 0.04045 217 164 38 15
767 Yeah, but I don't get any more hecklers. 1.3134 0.03938 217 162 42 13
768 Playing isn't the problem, who's going to help me if I need to use the bathroom? 1.3134 0.04200 217 167 32 18
769 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a song about my marriage. 1.3132 0.04378 182 137 33 12
770 They call me Johann Sebastian Box. 1.3131 0.03876 198 144 46 8
771 And for my next selection....Cacaphony in G-major. 1.3131 0.04030 214 161 39 14
772 Instead of tickling the ivories,tonight I'll be beating them. 1.3131 0.04084 214 162 37 15
773 For my next piece,I will perform J. S. Box' Golden Glove Variations 1.3131 0.04030 214 161 39 14
774 And now, for the second round... 1.3130 0.03735 230 170 48 12
775 When was the last time this piano was tuned? 1.3128 0.04069 211 159 38 14
776 Please be quiet, or I’ll take the gloves off 1.3128 0.03919 227 171 41 15
777 Go ahead,ask me if I'll play Misty for you. 1.3125 0.04332 176 131 35 10
778 I’m going to pound out a tune for you. 1.3125 0.04052 208 156 39 13
779 And now Concerto No. 2 by Rocky Maninoff . 1.3125 0.04469 192 148 28 16
780 Trying to knock out a few tunes 1.3125 0.03747 224 165 48 11
781 I just had a manicure. 1.3122 0.03991 221 167 39 15
782 This next piece is a total knock-out. 1.3122 0.03887 221 165 43 13
783 If I hear one more phone ring, someone is getting knocked out! 1.3122 0.04033 205 153 40 12
784 And now, the theme song to 'Rocky' 1.3122 0.04092 205 154 38 13
785 This next one is Beethoven's fists 1.3122 0.04581 189 147 25 17
786 And now, here's one for you lovers of polytonality.... 1.3119 0.03976 218 164 40 14
787 And now, the Sonata in Me Minor, by D. J. Trump. 1.3119 0.04234 218 169 30 19
788 The conductor said my fortissimo needs a bit more punch. 1.3119 0.03950 202 149 43 10
789 And now, a more punchy tune. 1.3119 0.04012 202 150 41 11
790 And now Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fight of the Bumble bee 1.3119 0.04192 202 153 35 14
791 ...and for my next number, I would like to punch it up a bit. 1.3119 0.03692 202 145 51 6
792 This next piece will be very hit and miss 1.3117 0.03721 231 171 48 12
793 I will now play The Minute Waltz in ten seconds. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
794 During the prestissimo the gloves come off. 1.3116 0.03959 215 161 41 13
795 I can only play the 'dun dun dun dun' part. 1.3116 0.03848 215 159 45 11
796 This next piece is rather punchy, but softly incorporates many, many notes close to one another. 1.3116 0.04014 215 162 39 14
797 And now...."Flight of the Butterfly/Sting like a B flat." 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
798 I took a piano to the zoo to see if elephants could compose as well as paint. This is what they wrote. 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
799 And now I’d like to belt out a little tune. 1.3116 0.04175 199 150 36 13
800 And now, a new piece by John Cage... 1.3116 0.04469 199 155 26 18
801 Tonight I'll be performing Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". You may need to use your imagination. 1.3112 0.04156 196 147 37 12
802 How do you expect me to play without sheet music? 1.3110 0.03677 209 151 51 7
803 This next one's an opus in ten rounds. 1.3110 0.03920 209 155 43 11
804 And now, something from the light heavyweight classics. 1.3107 0.03773 206 150 48 8
805 I will now perform Round 3. 1.3107 0.03710 206 149 50 7
806 And now for a number with a little more punch... 1.3107 0.03835 206 151 46 9
807 I’ve seen my fair share of piano bar fights. 1.3105 0.03799 219 162 46 11
808 Didn’t you ask me to bang out a tune” 1.3103 0.04115 203 153 37 13
809 They told me to come up with a punchy number. 1.3103 0.04115 203 153 37 13
810 A concerto for neither left nor right hand. 1.3103 0.04056 203 152 39 12
811 Tonight, I thought we'd start off with a little Philip Glass 1.3103 0.04174 203 154 35 14
812 I'll knock out this Beethoven in the Fifth." 1.3102 0.04208 216 167 31 18
813 Tonight the ivories have begged not to be tickled. 1.3102 0.04051 216 164 37 15
814 I bite my nails. 1.3102 0.03998 216 163 39 14
815 This is a piece I just knocked off. 1.3102 0.03601 216 156 53 7
816 A piece titled, "The Next Election 1.3102 0.04104 216 165 35 16
817 I will now pound out my favorite Soussa march. 1.3102 0.03833 216 160 45 11
818 This next piece is another punchy little number. 1.3100 0.03972 200 148 42 10
819 Now I will play the theme from the movie Rocky. 1.3100 0.04217 200 152 34 14
820 And now for Eine kleine Knockout Musik. 1.3100 0.03777 200 145 48 7
821 And now, Paul Simon's "The Boxer" 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
822 This next piece packs quite a punch 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
823 Is my tie crooked? 1.3099 0.03981 213 160 40 13
824 This next piece may sound a little dissonant.... 1.3099 0.03810 213 157 46 10
825 This next piece is a real knock out. 1.3098 0.04127 184 136 39 9
826 And now it’s “time to take the gloves off” 1.3095 0.03904 210 156 43 11
827 This next number is a knockout. It packs quite a punch. 1.3094 0.04011 223 170 37 16
828 For my next piece, I will explore the roots of the piano as a percussion instrument. 1.3093 0.04181 194 146 36 12
829 The next number is a real hit song. 1.3092 0.04172 207 158 34 15
830 This is ridiculous. How do you possibly expect me to play the piano without my mouthpiece? 1.3092 0.03941 207 154 42 11
831 That coulda been a concerto. 1.3091 0.04150 220 170 32 18
832 My Dad wanted me to box, and Mom wanted me to play the piano. 1.3091 0.03945 220 166 40 14
833 Trump asked me to do the musical score for the "Chuck & Nancy" meeting. 1.3088 0.04098 204 154 37 13
834 Next, I will play with one hand tied behind my back. 1.3088 0.04214 204 156 33 15
835 They made me give up the harp. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
836 Brahms? A minor punch. Rachmaninov, fell flat. But Beethoven? Kills in the fifth. 1.3088 0.04035 217 165 37 15
837 For my encore, I will play a little-known piece by George Gershwin and Joe Louis. 1.3088 0.03873 217 162 43 12
838 Beethoven's Fifth Round. 1.3088 0.03928 217 163 41 13
839 My next selection will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.3087 0.03875 230 174 41 15
840 My next piece is entitled "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.3087 0.03826 230 173 43 14
841 Now, the punchier rendition . 1.3085 0.04017 201 150 40 11
842 it’s really more about my creative approach and not the actual notes 1.3084 0.03795 214 158 46 10
843 My next number will be in the key of E, G, and C. 1.3084 0.04232 214 166 30 18
844 If I hear a cell-phone ring, watch out! 1.3081 0.04248 185 139 35 11
845 And now I will perform "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.3081 0.03929 198 146 43 9
846 Ladies and gentlemen, I plan to do more than just "tickle the ivories." 1.3081 0.03929 198 146 43 9
847 I’ll be knocking out songs all night. 1.3080 0.03737 224 166 47 11
848 I will now play the Theme from Rocky...badly. 1.3080 0.03894 224 169 41 14
849 Here’s an old standard I’d like to pound out for you 1.3077 0.03900 195 143 44 8
850 I coulda been a concerto. 1.3077 0.03823 221 165 44 12
851 The full boxed set will be available after the performance. 1.3077 0.03877 221 166 42 13
852 This is a concerto composed by my 2-year old. 1.3074 0.03762 231 173 45 13
853 And now, a fugue by T.K.O. Bach. 1.3073 0.04071 218 167 35 16
854 And now, "The Pugilist's Sonata," in a bunch of keys. 1.3073 0.04022 205 154 39 12
855 Evening, folks. I'm gonna knock out a few tunes for ya. 1.3073 0.03712 205 149 49 7
856 I shall now perform Beethoven's 10th Round Piano Concerto. 1.3073 0.04196 205 157 33 15
857 And now, for my last number I will play the title song on my new album Trump Year 2. 1.3073 0.04270 192 146 33 13
858 This is not going to be easy. 1.3073 0.03868 192 140 45 7
859 This combines the artistry of Joe Louis and Louis Armstrong. 1.3073 0.04141 192 144 37 11
860 Ladies and gentlemen, let me knock out a little number for you. 1.3071 0.03655 241 180 48 13
861 Tickling got me nowhere. 1.3070 0.03993 228 175 36 17
862 Well, at least it's not the late and naked for the final exam dream. 1.3070 0.04215 215 167 30 18
863 Tonight we present dueling pianos... 1.3070 0.04111 215 165 34 16
864 I call this next number "The Critic's Face". 1.3069 0.04181 202 154 34 14
865 A method pianist prepares to play the score of Rocky. 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
866 I will now play selections from my boxed set. 1.3069 0.04316 189 144 32 13
867 I'd like to begin with a little warm up exercise. 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
868 "This next one's gonna be a knockout." 1.3066 0.04204 212 164 31 17
869 The next one is going to be a hit. 1.3066 0.04097 212 162 35 15
870 I'll start on the count of three and stop on the count of ten. 1.3066 0.03814 212 157 45 10
871 And now for a little not music. 1.3066 0.03872 212 158 43 11
872 For my encore, I will now play 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.3066 0.04151 212 163 33 16
873 And now, Rockymaninoff piano concerto 3. 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
874 And now, with your kind indulgence, I'll change the mood a bit. 1.3065 0.04159 186 139 37 10
875 Now for my unique rendition of "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.3062 0.04137 209 160 34 15
876 And now ... Symphony No. 7 in C, D, and E Major. 1.3062 0.04247 209 162 30 17
877 This next number is a round. 1.3060 0.03846 232 176 41 15
878 Thank you, that was "Chopsticks." And now, "Chopsticks." 1.3059 0.03950 219 166 39 14
879 They call him the Manassa Mahler 1.3059 0.04106 219 169 33 17
880 I’m told I have a very aggressive playing style 1.3059 0.03501 219 158 55 6
881 My next number will be the "old one two." 1.3058 0.03761 206 151 47 8
882 And now, by request, "Theme from Rocky." Again. 1.3058 0.04064 206 156 37 13
883 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now perform for you Ali's concerto in the keys of A,B,C , D and E. 1.3058 0.03823 206 152 45 9
884 And now, a rarely heard Boxing Day carol. 1.3057 0.04251 193 147 33 13
885 Looks like I’m gonna have to go with the Philip Glass, not the Debussy. 1.3057 0.04187 193 146 35 12
886 And my next song is sure to be a hit! 1.3056 0.04094 216 166 34 16
887 It was at this moment he realized delivering a knockout performance did not require boxing gloves. 1.3056 0.03878 216 162 42 12
888 Flight of the Bumble Bee is out of the question. Any other requests?... 1.3056 0.03589 216 157 52 7
889 My next composition is a punchy little number. 1.3056 0.03765 216 160 46 10
890 They're required by my insurance company. 1.3054 0.03983 203 152 40 11
891 Next I will perform, Fight of the Bumblebee 1.3054 0.04163 203 155 34 14
892 Today I shall be playing 'Concussion in fist major' 1.3053 0.03965 226 173 37 16
893 This next work is entitled “Symphony in Three Rounds.” 1.3052 0.03857 213 159 43 11
894 Here's a little tune I recently knocked out. 1.3052 0.03914 213 160 41 12
895 For this number, I float like a butterfly, sting like a B flat major. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
896 Tonight I’ll be going a few rounds with Beethoven 1.3050 0.03697 200 145 49 6
897 Unlike Phillip Glass, I’m a maximist. I hit as many keys as I can at once. 1.3050 0.04145 200 152 35 13
898 And it goes something like this. 1.3050 0.04323 200 155 29 16
899 For this Inaugural Dance, I will now play I Did It My Way. 1.3048 0.03892 210 157 42 11
900 I'll knock out a quick tune. 1.3048 0.03950 210 158 40 12
901 And now for some Phillip Glass. 1.3048 0.04064 210 160 36 14
902 No, but I can hum a few bars. 1.3047 0.04066 233 182 31 20
903 And now for my final round... 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
904 Pianissimo like a butterfly, fortissimo like a bee. 1.3045 0.03987 220 168 37 15
905 And now Bach’s Golden Glove Variations. 1.3043 0.04104 207 158 35 14
906 This next piece I call, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bee-thoven." 1.3043 0.04047 207 157 37 13
907 Who said I play with a heavy hand​? 1.3043 0.03988 207 156 39 12
908 No, Dad. I told you before: I want to play piano. 1.3041 0.03807 217 162 44 11
909 I am also Blind! 1.3041 0.03862 217 163 42 12
910 And now, an eight-count piece by Mauler 1.3041 0.04295 194 149 31 14
911 And now for my box set..... 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
912 Now, I shall bang out a tune. 1.3040 0.03900 227 173 39 15
913 Ever feel like you've got the wrong job? 1.3039 0.04145 204 156 34 14
914 Here’s a punchy little number. 1.3039 0.03967 204 153 40 11
915 Any more requests? I could pound out tunes all night. 1.3037 0.03784 214 159 45 10
916 I shall now play my interpretation of Beethoven’s Hammerklavier sonata. 1.3037 0.04274 214 168 27 19
917 I'm gonna add a little punch to this one 1.3037 0.04341 191 147 30 14
918 And now, especially for those of you out there with the drooping eyelids and the nodding heads, here is a little wake-up number! 1.3037 0.04011 191 142 40 9
919 Now here's one from a real heavyweight. 1.3036 0.03726 224 167 46 11
920 Not often performed,this is young Mozart’s very,very, first piece. 1.3036 0.03986 224 172 36 16
921 Next comes a number that only a two-year-old will appreciate. 1.3035 0.04067 201 152 37 12
922 and now, Beethoven's Fist Symphony in C Minor... 1.3035 0.04128 201 153 35 13
923 And now... “Make America Great Again!” 1.3035 0.04187 201 154 33 14
924 There is no punch line! 1.3034 0.03620 234 174 49 11
925 And now, Balboa's variations on "Eine Kleine Knock-musik" 1.3033 0.03991 211 160 38 13
926 My next piece is by Johann Sebastian Boxer. 1.3033 0.03709 244 185 44 15
927 And now, the Dempsey Sonata 1.3032 0.04257 188 143 33 12
928 I first learned my next number from my three year old. 1.3032 0.03867 221 167 41 13
929 I just got tired of tickling the ivories... 1.3030 0.03783 198 145 46 7
930 And now, I will batter the ivories. 1.3030 0.04108 198 150 36 12
931 I'm sure you'll all recognise my next song, it has a ring to it. 1.3030 0.04170 198 151 34 13
932 Let's get ready to Pianooo! 1.3029 0.03972 208 157 39 12
933 And now, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.3028 0.03902 218 165 40 13
934 I’m going to knock out some tunes for you tonight. 1.3028 0.03792 218 163 44 11
935 I would ask that you suspend disbelief 1.3027 0.04165 185 139 36 10
936 I call this one, 'Fight of the Bumblebees'. 1.3026 0.03885 228 174 39 15
937 I will now play 12 rounds of Chopin. 1.3026 0.03574 228 168 51 9
938 For my next selection I will play "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.3026 0.04337 195 151 29 15
939 And now, my rendition of Mike Tyson's 'From Ear to Eternity'. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
940 And now , I coulda been somebody concerto in A minor. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
941 Any requests before I start pounding on the keys? 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
942 Who tuned this? 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
943 My next piece is by the lesser known Johan Sebastian Box 1.3022 0.03765 225 169 44 12
944 Crazy? Maybe. But you won't forget me. 1.3021 0.03993 192 143 40 9
945 No, this is NOT to compensate for small hands. 1.3020 0.04049 202 153 37 12
946 I'm really gonna pound this one out! 1.3020 0.04228 202 156 31 15
947 Look mom, no hands 1.3018 0.03689 222 165 47 10
948 First movement, round three. 1.3015 0.04090 199 151 36 12
949 And now, a literal rendition of Simon & Garfunkel's, "The Boxer." 1.3015 0.04272 199 154 30 15
950 I lost a bet. 1.3015 0.04090 199 151 36 12
951 Please excuse the gloves, I'm saving my fingers for a more sophisticated audience 1.3014 0.03955 209 158 39 12
952 Next: 'Rhapsody In Back And Blue'. 1.3013 0.03719 229 172 45 12
953 Forte like a butterfly, staccato like a bee. 1.3013 0.03820 229 174 41 14
954 I'm going to play Erik Satie's Aperçus désagréables for two gloved hands. 1.3013 0.03710 239 181 44 14
955 Welcome to Mixed Musical Arts. 1.3011 0.04003 186 138 40 8
956 This year, instead of Christmas music, I will play a couple of Boxing Day pieces. 1.3010 0.03933 206 155 40 11
957 Let's get ready to Handel 1.3010 0.03933 206 155 40 11
958 Hey, it's flu season. 1.3009 0.03867 216 163 41 12
959 And, for the final match, it’s me against Steinway. 1.3005 0.04043 193 145 38 10
960 Who coughed? 1.3005 0.04267 203 158 29 16
961 And now my original composition, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a B Minor.’ 1.3005 0.04069 213 164 34 15
962 I’m all thumbs tonight. 1.3005 0.03845 213 160 42 11
963 For an encore I will play Beethoven's Hammerklavier Sonata. 1.3005 0.03668 213 157 48 8
964 I got tired of just tickling the ivories! 1.3005 0.03787 213 159 44 10
965 And now, my interpretation of Wagner's "The Ring." 1.3004 0.03730 223 167 45 11
966 I will now play "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.3004 0.03730 223 167 45 11
967 Time to break in the new piano 1.3004 0.03620 223 165 49 9
968 And for my second piece I will also be wearing handcuffs. 1.3000 0.03883 200 149 42 9
969 Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's piece is a real knock-out. 1.3000 0.03883 200 149 42 9
970 If you don't quiet down, your nose is going to B-flat. 1.3000 0.04010 200 151 38 11
971 This next song, is a total knock-out! 1.3000 0.04015 190 142 39 9
972 Potential hecklers should take note... 1.3000 0.03762 210 156 45 9
973 I couldn't find Madison Square Garden 1.3000 0.03802 190 139 45 6
974 The first movement is to be played ‘molto aggressivo.’ 1.3000 0.03881 210 158 41 11
975 I will now perform Mozart's first sonata, which he composed at the age of 16 months. 1.3000 0.03996 210 160 37 13
976 I'd like to play a punchy little number. 1.3000 0.04109 210 162 33 15
977 This is a medley of my greatest hits, 1.2995 0.03961 217 166 37 14
978 I will now play 'Temper Tantrum in C Minor'. 1.2995 0.03796 207 154 44 9
979 Next, I will perform 'Rhapsody in Black and Blue' by Deontay Wilde 1.2995 0.04035 207 158 36 13
980 Good evening folks....Thought I'd belt out a tune for you. 1.2995 0.03574 197 142 51 4
981 The Pugilist's Waltz 1.2995 0.04056 187 140 38 9
982 Welcome to our First Annual Boxing Day Concert! 1.2995 0.04056 187 140 38 9
983 Following this encore, I would like a word with the reviewer who has called my playing ham-fisted. 1.2990 0.03954 204 154 39 11
984 And now I will play, "The Fight of the Bumblebee " 1.2990 0.03954 204 154 39 11
985 This next piece is atonal. 1.2990 0.04091 194 147 36 11
986 And it goes a little bit like this... 1.2990 0.04025 194 146 38 10
987 Hey, I can knock out a tune with the best of them 1.2989 0.04170 184 139 35 10
988 And now, ladies and gentlemen, Chopin and I will duke it out. 1.2989 0.04098 184 138 37 9
989 I like to punch out a tune for you. 1.2986 0.03746 211 157 45 9
990 'The Boxer by Paul Simon." 1.2986 0.03923 211 160 39 12
991 All I’m asking is that you give me a fighting chance. 1.2986 0.03865 211 159 41 11
992 And now, my rendition of the theme song from "Rocky". 1.2985 0.04116 201 154 34 13
993 And for those of you who think playing piano is for sissies... 1.2985 0.03735 201 148 46 7
994 For my next attempt I will fight my way through Rachmaninoff's 3rd. 1.2982 0.03875 228 175 38 15
995 Tickling the ivories, has never been my forte. 1.2982 0.03667 218 162 47 9
996 My next number will be The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2982 0.03945 218 167 37 14
997 Unfortunately, the necessity of dealing with hecklers has placed certain…constraints…on my artistry. 1.2981 0.04188 208 162 30 16
998 I call this piece 'Bach-xing.' 1.2981 0.03841 208 156 42 10
999 Tickling the ivories is not enough for me. 1.2981 0.03780 208 155 44 9
1000 Any fight song requests? 1.2981 0.03841 208 156 42 10
1001 And now a punchy tune 1.2980 0.03968 198 149 39 10
1002 Doesn’t”matter now if it’s tuned or not. 1.2980 0.04219 198 153 31 14
1003 I had to fight my way to the top. 1.2979 0.03841 235 181 38 16
1004 That was a knockout performance 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
1005 My next piece is by Rockymaninoff." 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
1006 This next piece is a technical knockout. 1.2977 0.03640 215 159 48 8
1007 I’m just going to knock-out this new piece for you. 1.2977 0.03871 215 163 40 12
1008 The following selection will be played in B-flatten. 1.2977 0.03927 215 164 38 13
1009 Tell the conductor I'm ready to punch it up a little. 1.2977 0.03871 215 163 40 12
1010 This next number will be a real knockout. 1.2976 0.03877 205 154 41 10
1011 Ravel's Piano Concerto for the Left Hand in D major,the hard way. 1.2976 0.04057 205 157 35 13
1012 No, they're not for playing. They're for dealing with anyone who criticizes the playing. 1.2974 0.03873 195 145 42 8
1013 Any last requests? 1.2974 0.04137 195 149 34 12
1014 I was told to take a dive in the third cadenza. 1.2974 0.03734 195 143 46 6
1015 And now, a special request from my piano professor. 1.2972 0.04020 212 163 35 14
1016 This next tune was popular during The Boxer Rebellion. 1.2972 0.03609 212 156 49 7
1017 I call this next one 'Beethoven's Fists.' 1.2972 0.03907 212 161 39 12
1018 What? I got tired of tickling them. 1.2972 0.03791 212 159 43 10
1019 And now for Beethoven’s 9th round. 1.2970 0.04037 202 154 36 12
1020 Chopin, Nocturne No. 2 in every key. 1.2969 0.03810 229 175 40 14
1021 Ive had to fight my way to get here! 1.2969 0.03910 192 143 41 8
1022 Here's a little number I punched out this morning. 1.2969 0.03980 192 144 39 9
1023 As soon as my opponent arrives, we can begin. 1.2969 0.03621 192 139 49 4
1024 Tonight’s performance is sponsored by Everlast. 1.2968 0.03653 219 163 47 9
1025 My playing style is known to be rather aggressive. 1.2968 0.03766 219 165 43 11
1026 And now, Rocky III, Opus I. 1.2967 0.03765 209 156 44 9
1027 I said I’d play for a Grand, baby! Not play a baby-grand! 1.2966 0.03874 236 183 36 17
1028 For my next selection, I will play the 'Theme from Rocky'. 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1029 Bach? I thought you said Box. 1.2965 0.04015 199 151 37 11
1030 To complete this Mancini set, I’ll switch from Henry to Ray Boom Boom. 1.2965 0.03886 199 149 41 9
1031 ARE ... YOU ... READY...TO ........GLISSANDO!!!!! 1.2965 0.04015 199 151 37 11
1032 And now, a sonata in twelve rounds. 1.2963 0.03799 216 163 42 11
1033 And now, I will sock it to you. 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
1034 And now, my Concerto in A-B-C-D-E-F-G minor." 1.2963 0.03742 216 162 44 10
1035 Next up is the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight" in the keys of A, C, and F 1.2963 0.03856 216 164 40 12
1036 Here in the final round is the theme from 'Rocky." 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
1037 Its not easy being Victor Borg's son! 1.2963 0.03911 216 165 38 13
1038 And now, I shall perform my impressions of what some of you call "jazz". 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
1039 I would like to play this next number the way people have been saying I play it. 1.2961 0.04040 206 158 35 13
1040 I see you're as confused as I am. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1041 Thank you. That was Rockymaninoff's Piano Concerto in Round No. 2. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1042 Do you want the black notes or the white notes? 1.2961 0.04099 206 159 33 14
1043 Here's a new tune that will knock you out. 1.2961 0.03860 206 155 41 10
1044 Round three goes something like this. 1.2960 0.03719 223 168 44 11
1045 And now, the 1812 Overture for solo piano 1.2960 0.03981 223 173 34 16
1046 Next I'm going to knock out a few favorites... 1.2959 0.04055 196 149 36 11
1047 On the other hand, 15 note chords are easy! 1.2959 0.03924 196 147 40 9
1048 Eh, my playing's a little rocky. 1.2958 0.03656 213 158 47 8
1049 I Only Play Fight Songs 1.2958 0.03775 213 160 43 10
1050 This next piece is called 'Ode to Percussion' 1.2956 0.03897 203 153 40 10
1051 For my next number, I’ll be pummeling the ivories... 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1052 I would like to play now a little something composed by the late Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2956 0.04080 203 156 34 13
1053 This one is called “Fight Of The Bumblebee” 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1054 What tune would you like me to knock out next? 1.2956 0.03897 203 153 40 10
1055 I think I've lost this bet already. 1.2956 0.03959 203 154 38 11
1056 A copy of my new album to whoever guesses what I'm playing 1.2955 0.03914 220 169 37 14
1057 I promise you a knockout performance. 1.2953 0.04029 193 146 37 10
1058 I'll just punch out a little number 1.2953 0.03893 193 144 41 8
1059 And now, Rockymaninoff 's concerto #2 1.2953 0.04289 193 150 29 14
1060 For the encore, I take the gloves off. 1.2952 0.03688 210 156 46 8
1061 And now my tribute to Jerry Lee Lewis. 1.2952 0.03810 210 158 42 10
1062 Yes, the whole piece is to be played Fortissimo. 1.2952 0.04261 210 166 26 18
1063 Hook and Jab in D minor by Johann Sebastian Box 1.2952 0.03869 210 159 40 11
1064 This next piece I composed for Boxing Day. 1.2952 0.03985 210 161 36 13
1065 This time I'm not going to tickle the ivories! 1.2952 0.03673 227 171 45 11
1066 I'll just knock out a few tunes for you. 1.2950 0.03870 200 150 41 9
1067 Float like a butterfly Sting like a B major 1.2950 0.04060 200 153 35 12
1068 And for my next selection, a round. 1.2949 0.03895 217 166 38 13
1069 Before I take the gloves off are there any requests? 1.2947 0.03931 190 142 40 8
1070 3, 2, 1... Hit It! 1.2947 0.03965 207 158 37 12
1071 Yo, Hayydnnn! 1.2947 0.03844 207 156 41 10
1072 Are you certain these are the same gloves Glenn Gould used? 1.2947 0.04023 207 159 35 13
1073 The gloves come off for the Rachmaninoff! 1.2946 0.04016 224 175 32 17
1074 This next piece is "'Requiem' for a Heavyweight," my homage to Mozart. 1.2944 0.04225 197 153 30 14
1075 This way I don't have to insure my hands. 1.2944 0.03906 197 148 40 9
1076 Here's my rendition of Beethoven's Fifth – Round. 1.2944 0.03642 214 159 47 8
1077 Is there someone who can read music and turn pages for me? 1.2944 0.03642 214 159 47 8
1078 I just knocked this last piece out last night. 1.2944 0.03931 214 164 37 13
1079 Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart — lightweights! 1.2944 0.03818 214 162 41 11
1080 They're insured! 1.2944 0.03681 231 175 44 12
1081 Having defeated all challengers, I will now continue with the Chopin. 1.2941 0.04063 204 157 34 13
1082 And now a special arrangement of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2941 0.03754 204 152 44 8
1083 For my next piece...the theme from Rocky 1.2941 0.04237 204 160 28 16
1084 I will now play a piece from my boxed set. 1.2938 0.03968 211 162 36 13
1085 Piano Sonata No. 3, fortissimo 1.2938 0.03794 211 159 42 10
1086 This next number is a knock out. 1.2938 0.04143 194 149 33 12
1087 Sit back and relax while I pummel the ivories. 1.2938 0.03876 194 145 41 8
1088 and now, I'll knock out one your old favorites. 1.2938 0.04078 194 148 35 11
1089 This is going to be very postmodern. 1.2936 0.03879 235 183 35 17
1090 In a sudden moment of panic, Mitch realizes that the Rachmaninoff concerto was actually written for a southpaw. 1.2936 0.03934 218 168 36 14
1091 When you asked if I could pound the keys... 1.2936 0.03825 218 166 40 12
1092 After all, the piano is a percussion instrument. 1.2936 0.03880 218 167 38 13
1093 This next piece was composed by my toddler 1.2936 0.03825 218 166 40 12
1094 My next piece consists of ten rounds. 1.2935 0.04103 201 155 33 13
1095 I said I could punch out a tune. 1.2935 0.03853 201 151 41 9
1096 I am now going to play for you a medley of works by Rockymaninoff. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
1097 One cannot just tickle the ivories with Rachmaninoff. 1.2932 0.04186 191 147 32 12
1098 Ready for this? I’ve decided to give it the old one, two. 1.2930 0.03803 215 163 41 11
1099 My Rachmaninoff may be a little Rocky. 1.2930 0.03627 215 160 47 8
1100 And then I realized, my fight with the music IS the music 1.2929 0.04145 198 153 32 13
1101 The last time I played this next tune, someone nearly bit my ear off. 1.2929 0.04145 198 153 32 13
1102 Heavy handed—me? 1.2929 0.03738 239 184 40 15
1103 But first, Rockymaninoff’s ‘The Pugilist’s Prelude‘ . 1.2928 0.04037 222 174 31 17
1104 I'll be playing Fight of the Bumble Bees. 1.2927 0.03925 205 156 38 11
1105 Let's see if you can guess who composed this piece." 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1106 Why hunt and peck when you can bob and weave? 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1107 Oh! I thought you wanted a knockout performance. 1.2927 0.03986 205 157 36 12
1108 I thought you said to play the hits 1.2926 0.03948 229 179 33 17
1109 Symphonie Pugiliste? 1.2926 0.04023 188 142 37 9
1110 This is going to suck. 1.2926 0.04363 188 147 27 14
1111 Okay. let's knock out a few tunes on the piano. Any request? 1.2923 0.03927 195 147 39 9
1112 I invite you to sing along while I punch out a few notes. 1.2923 0.03994 195 148 37 10
1113 I shall now perform Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2923 0.04188 195 151 31 13
1114 Tonight, you’ll hear DeBussy with some punch! 1.2922 0.03583 219 163 48 8
1115 Any more requests ,except "go to hell"? 1.2922 0.03864 219 168 38 13
1116 My next piece is Chopin's Noc-out-turne opus 9 1.2922 0.03810 219 167 40 12
1117 When I told the host of this show, I'd play for free, he said 'sure, knock yourself out.'" 1.2922 0.03810 219 167 40 12
1118 And now my rendition of "The Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2921 0.03837 202 152 41 9
1119 The theme from Rocky 1.2921 0.04085 202 156 33 13
1120 A knockout performance! 1.2921 0.03900 202 153 39 10
1121 It was a restraining order from my piano teacher! 1.2919 0.04214 209 165 27 17
1122 This is the best way I have found to knock out a tune. 1.2919 0.03813 209 158 41 10
1123 This next piece is going to be a little punchier 1.2919 0.03752 209 157 43 9
1124 Put up your Duke Ellingtons 1.2919 0.03752 209 157 43 9
1125 I'm making Mozart great again. 1.2919 0.04214 209 165 27 17
1126 For an encore, I've chosen to knock out a few bars of Beethoven's Ninth. 1.2918 0.03498 233 174 50 9
1127 Prepare to be knocked out! 1.2917 0.03553 216 160 49 7
1128 Ever have that dream that you went to school in your underwear? This is my version... 1.2915 0.03815 223 171 39 13
1129 I shall now perform Handel with kid gloves. 1.2915 0.04065 199 153 34 12
1130 This next piece is to be played 'molto forte.' 1.2915 0.04065 199 153 34 12
1131 Now for my knockout piece as the encore. 1.2913 0.03659 206 153 46 7
1132 OSHA regulations. 1.2911 0.03936 213 164 36 13
1133 And now for my knockout number... 1.2910 0.03862 189 141 41 7
1134 A Paul Simon song, sir ? Any one in particular ? 1.2909 0.03955 220 171 34 15
1135 That's the last time I schedule a concert on Boxing Day. 1.2907 0.03767 227 174 40 13
1136 Yet another dream where I don't have my underwear on. 1.2906 0.04007 203 156 35 12
1137 'I'll knock out a few melodies." 1.2906 0.03884 203 154 39 10
1138 Hopefully this will strike a chord with you as it did for me. 1.2906 0.03884 203 154 39 10
1139 This piece will knock you out. 1.2906 0.03820 203 153 41 9
1140 And now, my arrangement of Paul Simon’s ‘The Boxer.’ 1.2906 0.04068 203 157 33 13
1141 For my next selection, I have prepared an interpretive rendition of the Theme from Rocky. 1.2905 0.04030 210 163 33 14
1142 My next selection is a Rockymaninoff 1.2905 0.04030 210 163 33 14
1143 This one is by Rockymaninov. 1.2905 0.03857 210 160 39 11
1144 My next selection will be "Fight of the Bumblebee". 1.2905 0.03857 210 160 39 11
1145 Ladies and gentlemen ... I will now attempt to free my hands and play the Minute Waltz in 55 seconds or less. 1.2905 0.03569 241 183 46 12
1146 The melody could use a little more punch. 1.2903 0.04046 186 141 36 9
1147 And now, an interpretation of Liszt based on my true feelings. 1.2903 0.03829 217 166 39 12
1148 Before my next performance I'd like to ask the Gazette's music critic to join me onstage. 1.2903 0.03992 217 169 33 15
1149 And for my next number I will play Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2902 0.04082 193 148 34 11
1150 Box variations. 1.2900 0.03771 231 178 39 14
1151 They said the keys would be larger 1.2900 0.03619 231 175 45 11
1152 After 30 years of tickling the ivories, I’ve decided to try something new. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1153 To close, a traditional Boxing Day tune. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1154 I always dread the Boxing Day gig. 1.2900 0.03856 200 151 40 9
1155 I think you'll agree this next tune is a real knockout. 1.2899 0.04060 169 126 37 6
1156 ...And now a selection from my new boxed set. 1.2899 0.03832 207 157 40 10
1157 Folks, this won't be my usual performance. I'm not wearing any pants tonight. 1.2899 0.04069 207 161 32 14
1158 And now, "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2899 0.03892 207 158 38 11
1159 And now for some Wagner. 1.2897 0.03689 214 161 44 9
1160 Next, a piece I composed when I was three years old. 1.2897 0.04242 214 171 24 19
1161 Gerald was finding his two jobs were beginning to interfere with each other. 1.2897 0.04030 214 167 32 15
1162 Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m Down for the Count Basie! 1.2896 0.04088 183 139 35 9
1163 And now for a piece by Pugalini. 1.2896 0.03669 221 167 44 10
1164 If the bartender is listening, I'm ready for another round. 1.2896 0.03725 221 168 42 11
1165 Now for a thumping good tune 1.2896 0.03613 221 166 46 9
1166 Who brought the piano? I asked for a gong! 1.2895 0.03541 228 171 48 9
1167 Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2895 0.04050 228 181 28 19
1168 And now for a touch of Wagner. 1.2895 0.04257 190 148 29 13
1169 And now, I will play the 0ne-two waltz. 1.2895 0.04124 190 146 33 11
1170 For your pleasure, “Cacophony in B flat” 1.2895 0.04056 190 145 35 10
1171 This next piece I will play using only gentle jabs and delicate hooks. 1.2893 0.04150 197 153 31 13
1172 This is a lessor known but musically athletic Bach piece, the poundo and feud in three rounds. 1.2893 0.04024 197 151 35 11
1173 Here comes the hook. 1.2892 0.03867 204 155 39 10
1174 And now I shall play for your listening pleasure a few pieces from my latest recording, ‘Atonal Bludgeoning Cacophony.’ 1.2891 0.04013 211 164 33 14
1175 And here's a knockout hit I wrote recently... 1.2891 0.03899 211 162 37 12
1176 And now the hard way. 1.2891 0.04124 211 166 29 16
1177 And now a song that floats like Madame Butterfly and stings like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2891 0.03841 211 161 39 11
1178 I'm hoping to be saved by the bell. 1.2889 0.03570 225 169 47 9
1179 Let's get ready to Rrrrrrachmaninoffff! 1.2889 0.03785 225 173 39 13
1180 Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be performing Simon and Garfunkel’s, The Boxer, as it was originally conceived. 1.2889 0.03679 225 171 43 11
1181 I think you'll all recognize this Paul Simon tune. 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
1182 Are you sure about this, Mr. Cage? 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
1183 And now for a piece that sounds like something a toddler could play. 1.2886 0.03904 201 153 38 10
1184 Who's ready to hear my hit song? 1.2886 0.04029 201 155 34 12
1185 John Cage's 4'33, as played by Rocky Balboa. 1.2886 0.04151 201 157 30 14
1186 That was John Cage. Any questions? 1.2886 0.04151 201 157 30 14
1187 And now, for your listening pleasure, I will attempt chopsticks. 1.2885 0.03994 208 161 34 13
1188 For my next number I shall pound the keyboard. 1.2885 0.03692 208 156 44 8
1189 Now for a mash-up I like to call "Float like a Butterfly; sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee." 1.2885 0.03876 208 159 38 11
1190 And now I will perform"Horowitz at age 2" 1.2885 0.03876 208 159 38 11
1191 I would now like to play Ravel's "Concerto for No Hands." 1.2884 0.03848 215 165 38 12
1192 They said my playing could use a little punch. 1.2884 0.03733 215 163 42 10
1193 Let's see you bring your booing up here. 1.2884 0.03848 215 165 38 12
1194 If Beethoven could do it deaf, then I might as well try my best. 1.2884 0.03904 215 166 36 13
1195 I will now play a round by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2884 0.03791 215 164 40 11
1196 Last time, Rachmaninoff won. 1.2883 0.03655 222 168 44 10
1197 Now, I’d like to play you a selection of my greatest hits. 1.2883 0.03711 222 169 42 11
1198 I’d like to now play the piano version of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2883 0.03655 222 168 44 10
1199 We take "dueling pianos" very seriously. 1.2882 0.03635 229 174 44 11
1200 I only play Fortissimo. 1.2881 0.03685 243 188 40 15
1201 My next selection is a real knockout. 1.2880 0.04068 184 140 35 9
1202 Uhhh...I kinda lost a bet. 1.2879 0.04069 198 153 33 12
1203 This next one is more ‘Rocky’ than Rachmaninoff. 1.2878 0.03851 205 156 39 10
1204 Any other requests? 1.2878 0.04033 205 159 33 13
1205 It’s not The Fight of The Bumblebee? 1.2877 0.03997 212 165 33 14
1206 I coulda had class. I coulda been a conductor. I coulda been somebody. Instead of a bum. Which is what I am. 1.2877 0.03940 212 164 35 13
1207 My next number is "Chopfists". 1.2877 0.03743 219 167 41 11
1208 Here’s a little something for all you boxing fans”. 1.2877 0.04013 219 172 31 16
1209 This next one is also by Stravinsky. 1.2877 0.03907 219 170 35 14
1210 And now, I give you Punchini's "Madam Sting Like a Butterfly." 1.2877 0.03798 219 168 39 12
1211 ...and now an original composition that I like to call "Thrilla in Manila" 1.2877 0.03798 219 168 39 12
1212 And now I'd like to play something with absolutely no regard for talent, technique or quite frankly, for any of you my dear audience. 1.2876 0.03771 226 174 39 13
1213 Gimme a mandatory eight count. 1.2876 0.03611 226 171 45 10
1214 This next piece was composed by a 2 yr. old with no formal training. 1.2872 0.04046 195 150 34 11
1215 Now, my rendition of Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2871 0.03887 202 154 38 10
1216 I thought I’d punch up this last number just a bit. 1.2871 0.03823 202 153 40 9
1217 This will be 1812 like you've never heard. 1.2871 0.03800 209 159 40 10
1218 I will now play Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V. 1.2871 0.03739 209 158 42 9
1219 That was in the key of C minor, give or take... 1.2870 0.03776 216 165 40 11
1220 Its Rimsky-Korsakov with a postmodern vibe: I call it "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2870 0.03943 216 168 34 14
1221 This next piece is by Sergei Knockyerblockoff. 1.2870 0.03641 223 169 44 10
1222 I will now play for you a piece by Donald J. Trump called ‘Bing Bing Bong Bong’ 1.2870 0.03857 223 173 36 14
1223 It’s an upbeat tempo. One, two. One, two. 1.2870 0.03641 223 169 44 10
1224 It's called Bach-sing. 1.2869 0.03698 237 183 40 14
1225 Does anybody dare to make a request? 1.2865 0.03902 185 139 39 7
1226 I dare you, ask me to play ‘Piano Man’ one more time. 1.2865 0.04153 192 149 31 12
1227 This next one has a hook that will be in your head for days. 1.2864 0.03988 199 153 35 11
1228 And now, I will do a rendition of "The Boxer," by Simon & Garfunkel. 1.2864 0.03725 199 149 43 7
1229 Let’s get ready to RE-CI-TAAAAL! 1.2864 0.03988 199 153 35 11
1230 ...and now the band and I would like to punch out a couple of old favorites. 1.2864 0.03709 206 155 43 8
1231 Would the person who requested Proud Mary please come forward? 1.2864 0.04074 206 161 31 14
1232 We'll have a brief intermission while I decide my future. 1.2864 0.04074 206 161 31 14
1233 Good evening and welcome to 'Boxers Got Talent'! 1.2864 0.03956 206 159 35 12
1234 I'd like to pound out a few tunes. 1.2864 0.03773 206 156 41 9
1235 I hope you enjoy this next number. I knocked it out last night. 1.2864 0.03783 220 169 39 12
1236 My next selection is Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" 1.2863 0.03704 227 174 41 12
1237 I float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee 1.2857 0.03703 217 165 42 10
1238 I think I misunderstood the phrase 'hitting the right notes'. 1.2857 0.03742 203 153 42 8
1239 My next selection will be from the Ring Cycle 1.2857 0.03828 196 148 40 8
1240 My next song is The Boxer, by Simon and Garfunkle. 1.2857 0.03903 210 162 36 12
1241 I am going to float like a butterfly and sting like a B major 1.2857 0.04129 189 146 32 11
1242 I call this next piece, Ali vs. Frazier, in B minor. 1.2857 0.04028 196 151 34 11
1243 This next piece is from the Ring cycle. 1.2857 0.04028 196 151 34 11
1244 They told me it was Boxing Day. 1.2857 0.03682 224 171 42 11
1245 I went to a tough music school. The keys were black and blue. But seriously, take my arranger. Please! 1.2857 0.04308 182 142 28 12
1246 As a Jazz Pacifist, I believe it's more about the notes I don't strike 1.2857 0.03927 217 169 34 14
1247 Chopin Piano Concerto, round 3. 1.2857 0.03465 217 161 50 6
1248 And now ... The Pugilist of Seville. 1.2857 0.03933 203 156 36 11
1249 . . . and now the theme from Rocky 1.2857 0.04218 196 154 28 14
1250 And now in the key of Ali. 1.2857 0.03872 217 168 36 13
1251 It's kind of a punchy tune! 1.2857 0.03627 224 170 44 10
1252 This song was composed by my two year old son on the pots and pans. 1.2857 0.04515 182 145 22 15
1253 Too punchy? 1.2857 0.03870 203 155 38 10
1254 1, 2, 3 - hit it! 1.2857 0.03724 210 159 42 9
1255 Before I start playing the theme from "Rocky", can somebody come up here and zip up my pants? 1.2857 0.04092 196 152 32 12
1256 Let's get ready to rumba. 1.2857 0.03933 203 156 36 11
1257 And now for the old, ‘One, two’ 1.2851 0.03658 221 168 43 10
1258 And now a contemporary rendition of Schoenberg's transcription of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" 1.2850 0.04019 214 168 31 15
1259 Rockymaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. V 1.2850 0.03677 214 162 43 9
1260 And now a little number by Schoenberg—please feel free to hum along. 1.2850 0.04019 214 168 31 15
1261 This next piece - "John Cage Match" - is an homage. 1.2850 0.03851 214 165 37 12
1262 I think you will all recognize the theme from "Requiem for a Heavyweight." 1.2850 0.03757 207 157 41 9
1263 Maestro, Uppercut in C Major please. 1.2850 0.03819 207 158 39 10
1264 They’re rather tired of being tickled. 1.2850 0.03940 207 160 35 12
1265 And finally, I'd like to knock out a few." 1.2850 0.03819 207 158 39 10
1266 This next piece is by John Cage. 1.2850 0.04114 207 163 29 15
1267 What you are about to hear has never before been played in a concert hall. 1.2850 0.03907 200 153 37 10
1268 YOU FORGOT THE BLINDFOLD. 1.2850 0.04568 193 157 17 19
1269 I Am The Greatest! 1.2850 0.03864 193 146 39 8
1270 And now a tribute to the late great Muhammad Ali. 1.2850 0.03933 193 147 37 9
1271 Did you say, "Bach's"? 1.2850 0.04001 193 148 35 10
1272 What does Beethoven being deaf have to do with it? 1.2850 0.04387 193 154 23 16
1273 Trust me, this next song will be a knockout. 1.2844 0.03668 225 172 42 11
1274 I shall now play Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee Flat 1.2844 0.03929 225 177 32 16
1275 And now, my own rendition of the 1812 Overture. 1.2844 0.03878 225 176 34 15
1276 Here's a punchy little etude... 1.2844 0.03452 218 162 50 6
1277 And now, I'd like to play "TKO for Two" 1.2844 0.03689 218 166 42 10
1278 And now, a recently discovered composition by John Cage. 1.2844 0.03965 218 171 32 15
1279 LIMERICK: There was a pianist named Billy...A heavy weight singer from Philly...His tunes packed a punch...And he delivered a bunch...But personally, I found them silly. 1.2844 0.03769 211 161 40 10
1280 Many of you know this from my box set. 1.2844 0.03769 211 161 40 10
1281 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO KNOCKOUT ANOTHER TUNE? 1.2843 0.03916 204 157 36 11
1282 This composition needs more punch. 1.2843 0.03791 204 155 40 9
1283 This one has a punchy beat 1.2843 0.03727 204 154 42 8
1284 Well, not usually, but these are my Bach-sing gloves. 1.2843 0.03791 204 155 40 9
1285 It needed the right hook. 1.2843 0.03916 204 157 36 11
1286 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, I don't plan to tickle the ivories as much as smash 'em to bits. 1.2843 0.03878 197 150 38 9
1287 Next, I'd like to play the Ali Variations. 1.2843 0.03945 197 151 36 10
1288 For my final piece I'd like to play Schubert's Four Impromptus D899 but I can't. So instead I'll just beat the crap out of this thing. 1.2842 0.04110 190 147 32 11
1289 This next piece is a punchy little number. 1.2842 0.04110 190 147 32 11
1290 This next little number is a real knockout! 1.2837 0.03836 215 166 37 12
1291 The Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2837 0.03947 215 168 33 14
1292 It's worse than it looks. They're thumbless gloves. 1.2837 0.03892 215 167 35 13
1293 And now, my final number will just knock you out! 1.2837 0.03721 215 164 41 10
1294 Yo adagio! 1.2837 0.03863 208 160 37 11
1295 Would anyone care to hear another fight song? 1.2837 0.03741 208 158 41 9
1296 The first number I'll be playing this evening is going to sound like hell. 1.2837 0.03923 208 161 35 12
1297 Sonata for two boxing gloves on three keys at a time, molto grandissimo. 1.2837 0.03615 208 156 45 7
1298 My next piece is a real knockout. 1.2835 0.03847 194 147 39 8
1299 This is for the table that requested the theme from “Rocky”! 1.2834 0.03866 187 141 39 7
1300 Now, a new work, “Brexit Compromise,” in B flat minor. 1.2834 0.04221 187 146 29 12
1301 For my next number...'Requiem for a Heavyweight' 1.2831 0.03674 219 167 42 10
1302 Next, "Dance of the Butterflies," by Muhammad Ali. 1.2830 0.03632 212 160 44 8
1303 I have found it difficult to refrain from texting during performances. 1.2830 0.03928 212 165 34 13
1304 It worked for my cat. 1.2829 0.03838 205 157 38 10
1305 Float like a melody, sting like a B-flat. 1.2829 0.03512 205 152 48 5
1306 Roll over, Beethoven. 1.2828 0.03992 198 153 34 11
1307 And now, Ravel's Piano Concerto in D for Southpaws. 1.2828 0.04118 198 155 30 13
1308 And now, I would like to play the theme song from the movie, Rocky. 1.2828 0.04301 198 158 24 16
1309 ...and so in tribute to Michael Jackson, I will "just Beat It." 1.2828 0.03927 198 152 36 10
1310 Let the first round of the concerto begin. 1.2827 0.04158 191 149 30 12
1311 Concerto in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G 1.2826 0.03903 184 139 38 7
1312 Harolds worst nightmare, trying out for the "L.A. PHILHARMONIC" 1.2826 0.04404 184 146 24 14
1313 And now for a bit of Rocky maninoff! 1.2826 0.03814 230 180 35 15
1314 My next piece is in one-two time. 1.2825 0.03845 223 174 35 14
1315 I call the next piece "The Ring Cycle". 1.2825 0.03845 223 174 35 14
1316 I’m wearing these gloves at the request of my fans 1.2824 0.03763 216 166 39 11
1317 Now, for a rarely-played piece from Wagner's Ring Cycle. 1.2824 0.03931 216 169 33 14
1318 Float like a butterfly, sting like a B-sharp. 1.2823 0.03726 209 159 41 9
1319 That concludes Round 1, Round 2 will begin after intermission . 1.2823 0.03787 209 160 39 10
1320 The contract stated I was not allowed to "tickle" the ivories 1.2822 0.03936 202 156 35 11
1321 'We're now going to take the gloves off.' 1.2822 0.03873 202 155 37 10
1322 I will take off the gloves, but I want you to know how it feels to be challenged by Prokofiev. 1.2822 0.03873 202 155 37 10
1323 Then what precisely DO you mean by "Punch it up a little"? 1.2822 0.03809 202 154 39 9
1324 Ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform a medley of my greatest hits. 1.2821 0.03463 234 177 48 9
1325 Excuse me, the keys are too small. 1.2819 0.04201 188 147 29 12
1326 If Billy Joel claims to be the piano man one more time, I swear I'm going to deck him. 1.2819 0.03993 188 144 35 9
1327 Fair warning if you don’t applaud. 1.2818 0.03602 220 167 44 9
1328 Ladies and Gentlemen, Rockymaninoff No. 3. 1.2818 0.03880 220 172 34 14
1329 Tickling the ivories! I think not. 1.2818 0.03863 181 136 39 6
1330 And now, the Trump Suite of Dementias, in F Major. 1.2817 0.03968 213 167 32 14
1331 This concert is off to a Rocky start. 1.2817 0.03738 213 163 40 10
1332 I love challenges! 1.2817 0.04078 213 169 28 16
1333 And it sounds a little something like this.... 1.2816 0.03759 206 157 40 9
1334 What?? No, the contract definitely said glove songs... 1.2816 0.04120 206 163 28 15
1335 What do you mean I am off key? 1.2816 0.03943 206 160 34 12
1336 Apologies for the rocky start... 1.2816 0.03883 206 159 36 11
1337 And now, "The Boxer" 1.2815 0.03722 238 186 37 15
1338 Well, technique isn't everything. 1.2815 0.03372 238 179 51 8
1339 No dad, I'm giving up on your dream 1.2815 0.03576 238 183 43 12
1340 I dedicate this next piece to my manager, who needs a better understanding of what a ‘boxing day concert’ is. 1.2814 0.04038 199 155 32 12
1341 And now for the hook. 1.2812 0.04394 192 154 22 16
1342 Oddsmakers have ebony over ivory in the third round . 1.2812 0.04072 192 149 32 11
1343 Now for Chopin’s Etude in G# minor, Op.25; No.6 the hard way. 1.2812 0.04005 192 148 34 10
1344 On tonight’s program, “Float like Les Papillons, sting like Debussy.” 1.2811 0.03915 217 170 33 14
1345 And now for a little fight music. 1.2811 0.03860 217 169 35 13
1346 This next number will be a little Rocky 1.2811 0.03748 217 167 39 11
1347 And now, round four... 1.2811 0.03805 217 168 37 12
1348 And now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ as it was originally composed... 1.2810 0.04006 210 165 31 14
1349 They keys in this piece are pretty sharp. 1.2810 0.03831 210 162 37 11
1350 The second movement begins with delightful arpeggios and ends with an uppercut. 1.2810 0.03831 210 162 37 11
1351 Ladies and gentlemen, The Palooka Polka. 1.2810 0.03890 210 163 35 12
1352 I wanted to be a boxer, but mother made me take piano lessons. 1.2809 0.03450 235 178 48 9
1353 I'm trying to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2808 0.03662 203 153 43 7
1354 This is called he Mefisto Waltz. 1.2808 0.03857 203 156 37 10
1355 It was at that moment, Rocky knew he had to give up his dreams. 1.2808 0.03793 203 155 39 9
1356 Sharp or flat? 1.2807 0.03731 228 177 38 13
1357 My next number will knock you out. 1.2806 0.03881 196 150 37 9
1358 And now: Beethoven's Ninth--in the style of American democracy. 1.2806 0.04205 196 155 27 14
1359 And next, the theme from Rocky. 1.2805 0.03864 221 173 34 14
1360 I'm working on my fortissimos. 1.2805 0.03701 221 170 40 11
1361 And now, Muhammad Ali's fifth symphony. 1.2804 0.03896 214 167 34 13
1362 I've had a request for "The Boxer." 1.2802 0.03866 207 160 36 11
1363 I dare you to cough one more time! 1.2802 0.03927 207 161 34 12
1364 Get ready for my latest hit... 1.2802 0.03805 207 159 38 10
1365 This next selection is a real knockout. 1.2802 0.03805 207 159 38 10
1366 I will now take on Mozart 1.2802 0.03616 207 156 44 7
1367 Heads up, folks -- this next number's going to be a knockout. 1.2802 0.03736 232 181 37 14
1368 They complained I was all thumbs. 1.2800 0.03828 200 153 38 9
1369 It’s not as delicate a piece as one might think. 1.2800 0.03489 225 170 47 8
1370 So! I’m not all thumbs!! 1.2800 0.03957 200 155 34 11
1371 Now I'd like to knock out my latest for you! 1.2800 0.03762 200 152 40 8
1372 Just how fortissimo do you want it? 1.2800 0.03828 200 153 38 9
1373 You said pugilisimo, right? 1.2800 0.04082 200 157 30 13
1374 And now, reimagined for pianoforte, the theme from Rocky. 1.2798 0.04111 218 175 25 18
1375 I dedicate this next piece to Philip Glass. 1.2798 0.04054 193 150 32 11
1376 *“Alas, ebony and ivory don’t always live together in perfect harmony.” 1.2797 0.03641 236 183 40 13
1377 Now, i am going to play my greatest hits. 1.2796 0.03756 211 162 39 10
1378 And now, Madam Butterfly, Stings Like A Bee. 1.2796 0.04100 211 168 27 16
1379 What? You've never seen Bach-sing gloves? 1.2796 0.04100 211 168 27 16
1380 This next piece may be a little Rocky. 1.2796 0.03932 211 165 33 13
1381 I have A Minor problem 1.2796 0.03756 211 162 39 10
1382 J. S. BACHINGGLOVE 1.2796 0.03695 211 161 41 9
1383 And now, ladies and gentlemen: "'We Will Rock You! 1.2796 0.04226 186 146 28 12
1384 I thought you said "bach". 1.2795 0.03612 229 176 42 11
1385 Introducing classical music for millennials. Because alone, Piano Sonata No. 29 isn't enough to maintain your attention. 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1386 It's an unfinished piece if anyone's cellphone goes off. 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1387 And in this corner.......Liszt-loving, Bach-breaking, Mozart-mauling .....two-handed "Steinway Tommy Tune"!! 1.2795 0.03716 229 178 38 13
1388 Well, most musicians needs two jobs 1.2794 0.03840 204 157 37 10
1389 I know it looks odd, but it got me into Harvard. 1.2793 0.03902 222 175 32 15
1390 And now, I'll play selections from my box set. 1.2792 0.04060 197 154 31 12
1391 And now, by Rimsky-Korsakov, The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2792 0.03864 197 151 37 9
1392 I call it "Pounding on the keys like a goddamned Ape.' 1.2791 0.03649 215 164 42 9
1393 And now for Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto in c minor. Better known as Rocky II 1.2791 0.03935 215 169 32 14
1394 Victor Borge in his final round 1.2791 0.03708 215 165 40 10
1395 The nightmare before the concert. 1.2791 0.04309 172 134 28 10
1396 And now I'd like to bang out a little ditty of my own... 1.2790 0.03517 233 178 45 10
1397 I will next perform the theme from Rocky. 1.2790 0.03517 233 178 45 10
1398 That was the fury, now comes the sound. 1.2789 0.04095 190 148 31 11
1399 And now a new take on a classic: "Beating You Senseless With My Song." 1.2789 0.03886 190 145 37 8
1400 It's a Cage session. 1.2789 0.04095 190 148 31 11
1401 Playing piano helps with my anger management issues. 1.2788 0.03532 226 172 45 9
1402 You were right. This does sound a little better. 1.2786 0.04002 201 157 32 12
1403 This one's in the key of Knock You Flat. 1.2786 0.03811 201 154 38 9
1404 They laughed when I sat down at the piano. 1.2785 0.03884 219 172 33 14
1405 For my next piece, I'll be playing the theme song from Rocky. 1.2785 0.03829 219 171 35 13
1406 This next piece is called "the fight of the bumble bees". 1.2785 0.03829 219 171 35 13
1407 And now, my rendition of the "The Theme From Rocky'. 1.2785 0.03477 237 181 46 10
1408 And Now Tyson's Ninf Symphony 1.2784 0.04035 194 151 32 11
1409 You should see what the keyboard looks like 1.2784 0.03616 194 145 44 5
1410 These? They're for when I meet that #*&@* composer after the concert. 1.2783 0.03858 212 165 35 12
1411 ...And it kind of goes like this. 1.2783 0.03680 212 162 41 9
1412 I'm in between careers. 1.2783 0.03740 212 163 39 10
1413 In tune, but out of touch. 1.2783 0.03916 212 166 33 13
1414 And now, some tunes from The Ring. 1.2783 0.04083 212 169 27 16
1415 When I play fortissimo, I don't fuck around. 1.2783 0.03853 230 182 32 16
1416 Please have patience as I fight my way through the always difficult Rachmaninoff 3rd piano concerto. 1.2783 0.03853 230 182 32 16
1417 Next, I'll play you a punchy little tune. 1.2781 0.03849 187 142 38 7
1418 I used to play by ear. 1.2780 0.04182 205 164 25 16
1419 Pianist!? I could've swore the classified sought a pugilist. 1.2780 0.04066 205 162 29 14
1420 This is a little etude for note clusters, which I composed myself. 1.2780 0.03947 205 160 33 12
1421 And next, a lovely little composition by Victor Borge. 1.2778 0.03847 198 152 37 9
1422 And now, a visual depiction of writer's block. 1.2778 0.03751 216 167 38 11
1423 Despite his millions earned, Rocky Balboa eventually went baroque. 1.2778 0.03913 198 153 35 10
1424 The chorus will now join me for few rounds. 1.2775 0.03774 209 161 38 10
1425 Boxing. It helps me think outside of the piano. 1.2775 0.03774 209 161 38 10
1426 This Flight of the Bumblebee is in honor of Muhammad Ali. 1.2775 0.04067 209 166 28 15
1427 Float like ‘Madame Butterfly,’ sting like ‘Flight of the Bumblebee.’ 1.2775 0.04008 191 148 33 10
1428 I will now play for you “Eine Kleine Knock You Out.” 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1429 Let me give you a tune with some punch! 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1430 It's time for the greatest hits. 1.2773 0.03759 220 171 37 12
1431 I’m afraid I can only take requests for something from “The Ring” cycle. 1.2772 0.03795 202 155 38 9
1432 Yo Adrian, can you turn the music for me? 1.2772 0.03923 202 157 34 11
1433 Ohhh...you said we're going to Bach's! 1.2772 0.04109 184 143 31 10
1434 Tickling the ivories is for beginners. This is advanced stuff. 1.2770 0.03604 213 162 43 8
1435 'Chop Sticks.' Why? 1.2770 0.03784 213 165 37 11
1436 And now, an unusual rendering of "Chopsticks". 1.2768 0.04142 177 137 31 9
1437 Tonight I only play music from the Rocky films. 1.2767 0.03550 206 155 45 6
1438 And now I’m going to pound out an old favorite. 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1439 Next I'll perform Rockymaninoff's arrangement of Bach's concerto 1.2767 0.03745 206 158 39 9
1440 If you hum a few bars I can probably punch it out. 1.2767 0.03745 206 158 39 9
1441 I'm waiting for the opening bell. 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1442 Welcome to Ultimate Piano Club 1.2767 0.03869 206 160 35 11
1443 This next piece makes Beethoven look like a little bitch. 1.2766 0.03543 235 181 43 11
1444 I'd like to dedicate my next number to Muhammad Ali. 1.2766 0.03594 235 182 41 12
1445 Oh, ho, yes, I’m the great contender. 1.2766 0.03977 188 145 34 9
1446 Next, I will play the theme from Rocky. 1.2765 0.03903 217 171 32 14
1447 Trust me, this next piece was a real knockout at my last recital 1.2765 0.03678 217 167 40 10
1448 So much for modern stuff. Now for Chopin, and the gloves come off. 1.2765 0.03848 217 170 34 13
1449 It is the best way to keep my hands insured. 1.2764 0.03896 199 154 35 10
1450 Ladies and Gentlemen, Flight of the Bumblebee like you have never heard played before! 1.2764 0.04024 199 156 31 12
1451 Nobody talks during my performance. 1.2764 0.03896 199 154 35 10
1452 And now I go three rounds with Rachmaninoff. 1.2764 0.03830 199 153 37 9
1453 Wasn't the program Rockymaninoff? 1.2764 0.04024 199 156 31 12
1454 Makes "hitting" those notes much easier. 1.2763 0.03505 228 174 45 9
1455 Now I will do the piece I played for Harvard’s Admissions Committee. 1.2763 0.03560 228 175 43 10
1456 Tonight I'll be playing the theme from Rocky XVII. 1.2763 0.03719 228 178 37 13
1457 Who's up for another round? 1.2762 0.03758 210 162 38 10
1458 Now for the Fight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2762 0.03697 210 161 40 9
1459 No hitting below b-flat 1.2762 0.03877 210 164 34 12
1460 Get me LARGER KEYS. 1.2762 0.03877 210 164 34 12
1461 If you all don’t stop heckling me the gloves are coming off 1.2760 0.04318 192 154 23 15
1462 I'm just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told... 1.2760 0.03853 221 174 33 14
1463 This next piece is a big hit! 1.2759 0.03906 203 158 34 11
1464 Would you care to join me in a round? 1.2759 0.03968 203 159 32 12
1465 I was told to punch up the ending 1.2759 0.03968 203 159 32 12
1466 And now for your listening pleasure, the theme from “Rocky”. 1.2759 0.03779 203 156 38 9
1467 Don't prejudge." 1.2757 0.03590 214 163 43 8
1468 This is a little tune I learned when I studied under Sonny Liston 1.2757 0.03710 214 165 39 10
1469 Why tickle the ivories? Pound them with passion! 1.2757 0.03590 214 163 43 8
1470 Next is a song that took Jim Morrison 8 1/2 minutes to sing. I plan to knock it out in 2. 1.2757 0.03826 214 167 35 12
1471 Actually, it's all in the technique. 1.2754 0.03973 207 163 31 13
1472 I will now perform an experimental piece by John Cage. 1.2752 0.03941 218 173 30 15
1473 I don't think I can play pianissimo. 1.2752 0.03663 218 168 40 10
1474 Here's a punchy tune I wrote to celebrate the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearings 1.2752 0.03887 218 172 32 14
1475 I HAVE TO HANDAL THE NEXT NUMBER WITH KID GLOVES 1.2751 0.04167 189 149 28 12
1476 I will now perform a more faithful interpretation of "Baby Elephant Walk". 1.2751 0.03959 189 146 34 9
1477 This one's for my Pop, who always wanted me to become a fighter 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1478 The ivories aren't being tickled tonight. 1.2750 0.04006 200 157 31 12
1479 Any requests for another Round? 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1480 For my next selection, I'm going to play 'Chopsticks' again. Anybody got a problem with that? 1.2750 0.03879 200 155 35 10
1481 I like to call this one, ,'You're Gonna B-flat-tened.' 1.2749 0.03861 211 165 34 12
1482 And now, Rachmaninov in three rounds. 1.2749 0.03620 211 161 42 8
1483 And now a new medley for those in the audience who are tone deaf 1.2749 0.03919 211 166 32 13
1484 I consider the piano my opponent. 1.2748 0.03504 222 169 45 8
1485 I'm the boxer of Seville. 1.2746 0.03833 193 148 37 8
1486 And now, for The Fight of the Bumblebee! 1.2745 0.03950 204 160 32 12
1487 I'm going for a knockout performance of Box Sonata #1. 1.2745 0.03826 204 158 36 10
1488 What do you mean it could be punchier? 1.2745 0.04011 204 161 30 13
1489 This next piece is from the opera “Don King Giovanni.” 1.2744 0.03811 215 168 35 12
1490 and now, the ever popular 'Mitten on the Keys' 1.2744 0.03695 215 166 39 10
1491 ...And in the right corner, hailing from the Steinway factory in Queens, weighing in at 1200 pounds, it's GRAND PIANO!!! 1.2744 0.03695 215 166 39 10
1492 This next one is entitled “Eine Kleine Chinmusic” 1.2744 0.03635 215 165 41 9
1493 I call this next piece "The Crash of the Bumblebee." 1.2744 0.03753 215 167 37 11
1494 And now the overture from the opera 'Rocky' 1.2743 0.03463 226 172 46 8
1495 This is the point in the program at which I respond to requests for "Feelings" or "Piano Man". 1.2743 0.03630 226 175 40 11
1496 Hit it, maestro! 1.2743 0.04165 175 136 30 9
1497 Welcome to Fight Club. 1.2743 0.03922 175 133 36 6
1498 I call this The Pugilissimo. 1.2742 0.03850 186 142 37 7
1499 I wish my manager could enunciate. The word was Bach. 1.2742 0.03925 186 143 35 8
1500 Punchy melody it is. 1.2741 0.03916 197 153 34 10
1501 But the maestro said this was a Boxing Day concert. 1.2741 0.03641 197 149 42 6
1502 yeah,well if I could box,do you think I'd be trying to play this thing? 1.2740 0.03956 208 164 31 13
1503 I call this 'Fight of the Bumblebee'. 1.2740 0.03956 208 164 31 13
1504 The ivory is going to be black and blue after I'm done with it 1.2740 0.03776 208 161 37 10
1505 I now present a new piece entitled "Modern Diplomacy." 1.2740 0.03872 219 173 32 14
1506 The next is a request from Mike Tyson 1.2740 0.03762 219 171 36 12
1507 This may look easy... It is not. 1.2739 0.03479 230 176 45 9
1508 Now, for a more muscular piece. 1.2736 0.03454 201 150 47 4
1509 Some people say I'm a bit heavy handed." 1.2736 0.03797 201 155 37 9
1510 ...and the Fourth Movement: "graziano ma non marciano." 1.2736 0.03727 212 164 38 10
1511 I will now play Rachy 3. 1.2736 0.04125 212 171 24 17
1512 Raymond is undefeated in the spinet division but now faces a big challenge in a higher weight class. 1.2736 0.03666 212 163 40 9
1513 Shall I play some selections from the boxed set? 1.2736 0.03903 212 167 32 13
1514 This next piece will be performed in 12 rounds. 1.2735 0.03604 223 172 41 10
1515 Staccato? 1.2735 0.03715 223 174 37 12
1516 My next piece will be a Concerto in 15 Movements, or Until the Referee Stops the Concert. 1.2732 0.04113 183 143 30 10
1517 Personally, I thought it was a knock-out performance. 1.2732 0.03810 183 139 38 6
1518 Mother wanted me to be a pianist. Father wanted a pugilist, so I learned to punch the keys. 1.2732 0.03816 194 149 37 8
1519 There will be a 1 minute intermission between each of my 10 pieces. 1.2732 0.04151 194 154 27 13
1520 The next piece is titled 'Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2732 0.03745 194 148 39 7
1521 This is one I call 'Beethoven's 9th Round.' 1.2732 0.03747 205 158 38 9
1522 My mother wanted a pianist.....my father wanted a pugilist. 1.2732 0.03747 205 158 38 9
1523 Now for the main event, ... 1.2731 0.03561 216 165 43 8
1524 Playing with ten fingers is easy. 1.2731 0.03506 227 174 44 9
1525 This next piece is called Holidays at the In-Laws." 1.2727 0.04145 176 137 30 9
1526 Good Evening Folks, this is the first time I've played at a "Fight Club." 1.2727 0.03757 187 142 39 6
1527 Punch it again Sam. 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
1528 Anyone else got any smart remarks ? 1.2727 0.03832 198 153 36 9
1529 Wait, downbeat? I thought you said beat-down. 1.2727 0.03963 198 155 32 11
1530 I'm a lover and a fighter. 1.2723 0.03477 224 171 45 8
1531 I present my new composition "Trumps attempts to hit the right chords" 1.2723 0.03943 213 169 30 14
1532 This next song is alittle more up beat. 1.2723 0.03590 213 163 42 8
1533 And this time, you had better applaud. 1.2723 0.03712 213 165 38 10
1534 I know what you're thinking. 1.2723 0.03648 202 154 41 7
1535 For my first piece, I will be playing an adaptation of the "Rocky Theme" 1.2723 0.03971 202 159 31 12
1536 And now in Fortississimo. 1.2723 0.03780 202 156 37 9
1537 Not to mention I've never learned to read music. 1.2719 0.03707 228 179 36 13
1538 My next piece will be ‘Chopsticks - The Hard Way 1.2719 0.03665 217 168 39 10
1539 You could say I'm digitally-challenged. 1.2719 0.03780 217 170 35 12
1540 Don't worry, I can Handel myself 1.2718 0.03667 206 158 40 8
1541 Well, I only minored in music. My degree is in the martial arts. 1.2718 0.03667 206 158 40 8
1542 I always wanted to beat the band. 1.2718 0.03856 206 161 34 11
1543 This is why it is called The Unfinished Symphony. 1.2718 0.04002 195 153 31 11
1544 And now, a Canto from Ezra Pound. 1.2718 0.04002 195 153 31 11
1545 This next piece, inspired by John Cage, is called Bruised Piano 1.2718 0.03799 195 150 37 8
1546 And now, a fantasie by Franz Liszton. 1.2718 0.03868 195 151 35 9
1547 And now, Requiem for a Heavyweight for piano and gloves! 1.2718 0.03936 195 152 33 10
1548 When you're as great as I am, you really should have some kind of handicap. 1.2717 0.04093 184 144 30 10
1549 The precision may not be quite adequate but fortissimos are exeptional ! 1.2716 0.03453 232 178 45 9
1550 My last piece is entitled "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee." 1.2715 0.03894 221 176 30 15
1551 And for my next piece; 'Rocky V' in A minor. 1.2715 0.03676 221 172 38 11
1552 Now for tonight’ s last request : BADDA-BING, BADDA -BANG. 1.2715 0.03676 221 172 38 11
1553 Schubert has requested a rematch. 1.2714 0.03557 210 160 43 7
1554 I thought they said pugilist. 1.2714 0.03864 210 165 33 12
1555 My counter punch is much better than my counter point. 1.2714 0.03744 210 163 37 10
1556 Tonight, I'll be going fifteeen rounds with the Schoenberg. 1.2714 0.03805 210 164 35 11
1557 Wait until the gloves come off. 1.2714 0.03610 199 151 42 6
1558 This one's for you in the box seats. 1.2714 0.03946 199 156 32 11
1559 Here's a song that packs a punch. 1.2714 0.03680 199 152 40 7
1560 Next will be the theme from Rocky 1.2713 0.04032 188 147 31 10
1561 I will now play the Mike Tyson Rhapsody in Black and Blue. 1.2713 0.03815 188 144 37 7
1562 There will be copies of my box-set available in the lobby after the show! 1.2712 0.04124 177 138 30 9
1563 The Boxing Ring Cycle 1.2711 0.03631 225 175 39 11
1564 I will now play Sonata in B Flat by Mike Tyson. 1.2711 0.03631 225 175 39 11
1565 Never steal from the casino the night you’re scheduled to play piano there. 1.2711 0.03739 225 177 35 13
1566 Next, my take on the theme from "Rocky." 1.2711 0.03739 225 177 35 13
1567 It's easier than the violin. 1.2710 0.03813 214 168 34 12
1568 And now, something a little more lightweight. 1.2710 0.03387 214 161 48 5
1569 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to play for you my interpretation of Paul Simon's "The Boxer." 1.2710 0.03813 214 168 34 12
1570 And now I shall attempt Fight of the Bumblebee 1.2710 0.03870 214 169 32 13
1571 And now a little piece I call the "The Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2709 0.03828 203 158 35 10
1572 For my next number I would like to play a new composition I call "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2709 0.03632 203 155 41 7
1573 This next piece will knock you out! 1.2708 0.03905 192 149 34 9
1574 Now I’d like to pummel my own interpretation of ‘Rhapsody in Black and Blue’.” 1.2708 0.04042 192 151 30 11
1575 And now, something in tempo "pugilissimo". 1.2708 0.03689 192 146 40 6
1576 You asked for a heavy hitter! 1.2708 0.03974 192 150 32 10
1577 And now a selection from Madame Float-like-a-Butterfly. 1.2707 0.03534 229 177 42 10
1578 I'll just knock out a quick sonata before dinner. 1.2706 0.03764 218 171 35 12
1579 Each song will be followed by a 1-minute intermission. 1.2706 0.03592 218 168 41 9
1580 Let's get ready to Rachmaninoff! 1.2706 0.03929 218 174 29 15
1581 I'm now going to pound out some Mozart. 1.2705 0.03715 207 160 38 9
1582 Raging Bach 1.2705 0.03900 207 163 32 12
1583 I call this one Rach'em-Sock'em-Maninoff. 1.2705 0.03715 207 160 38 9
1584 Next will be my Mohammed Ali "Flight of the Butterfly" 1.2705 0.03651 207 159 40 8
1585 And now for the Cantata Pugilisto 1.2704 0.03918 196 153 33 10
1586 I had to struggle with this piece... 1.2704 0.03984 196 154 31 11
1587 And then I hear my ex-wife laughing in the audience, and then I wake up--every time. 1.2704 0.04113 196 156 27 13
1588 I don't know why, but tonight I feel like I'm all thumbs. 1.2704 0.03641 196 149 41 6
1589 To unlock the premium concert experience, please open the app and select the $3.99 in-app upgrade. 1.2703 0.04074 185 145 30 10
1590 And now, a heavy-handed version of Jingle Bells. 1.2703 0.03662 222 173 38 11
1591 And now, the Muhammad Allegro. 1.2703 0.03878 222 177 30 15
1592 I predict it will end in the sixth measure." 1.2701 0.03606 211 162 41 8
1593 Be quiet please, I'm going to knock out a few tunes for you. 1.2701 0.03606 211 162 41 8
1594 And now the theme music from Rocky 1.2701 0.03668 211 163 39 9
1595 Please hold your applause until I've finished. 1.2701 0.03848 211 166 33 12
1596 Now, I shall float like a butterfly and sting like the 'Flight of the Bumblebee" 1.2700 0.03295 237 180 50 7
1597 Power chords are my forté! 1.2699 0.03507 226 174 43 9
1598 I apologize for that last prelude. Now, on to box the ill-tempered clavier. 1.2699 0.03562 226 175 41 10
1599 This next piece is one I wrote for my ex-wife called "you should have signed the prenup" 1.2698 0.04083 189 149 29 11
1600 ...and now for my most-difficult piece... 1.2698 0.03854 215 170 32 13
1601 My insurance carrier insists I take special care to protect my hands since my career depends on it. 1.2697 0.03946 178 137 34 7
1602 For my next piece, I shall float like a butterfly and sting in the key of B flat. 1.2696 0.03936 204 161 31 12
1603 We shall now experience the atonal grandeur of the Rocky Variations. 1.2696 0.03683 204 157 39 8
1604 And now, a piece titled "Yo Adrian!" 1.2696 0.03521 230 178 42 10
1605 Rachmaninoff’s Concerto no. 2- twelfth round. 1.2694 0.04090 193 153 28 12
1606 My next number will be the theme from "Rocky." 1.2694 0.03673 193 147 40 6
1607 Next, my rendition of The Nutcracker. 1.2692 0.03762 208 162 36 10
1608 And now, I will once again play the theme from Jaws 1.2692 0.03762 208 162 36 10
1609 I’d like to slow things down a bit. Then speed back up. Then a left. A right. Another left... 1.2692 0.03883 208 164 32 12
1610 And now, Round 3 of selections from my complete boxed set! 1.2692 0.03823 208 163 34 11
1611 I shall now play my new composition, 'Lullaby for Mike Tyson'. 1.2692 0.04401 182 147 21 14
1612 And a little bit softer now... 1.2692 0.03942 208 165 30 13
1613 Ladies and Gentlemen: Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer. 1.2692 0.03699 208 161 38 9
1614 This is how I avoid carpal tunnel syndrome. 1.2692 0.03636 208 160 40 8
1615 I will now perform a piece by JS Box 1.2691 0.03591 223 173 40 10
1616 This one is called 'I'm gonna smash your face', in G minor. 1.2690 0.04031 197 156 29 12
1617 Ladies & Gentlemen...Wolf Gang Amadeuuuuuuus Mozart ! 1.2690 0.03696 197 151 39 7
1618 Si, let me pound out a few tunes for you. 1.2690 0.03833 197 153 35 9
1619 This next round is from the work of TKOvsky 1.2690 0.03553 197 149 43 5
1620 Should anyone in the audience fail to appreciate this beautiful musical piece, I must advise you that there will be consequences. 1.2690 0.03833 197 153 35 9
1621 And now, I shall play Beethoven's Fifth Round 1.2690 0.03696 197 151 39 7
1622 My current album comes in a boxed set 1.2688 0.03833 186 143 36 7
1623 Let's get ready to treble! 1.2688 0.03982 186 145 32 9
1624 For my finale, I will perform: "Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee." 1.2687 0.03814 227 181 31 15
1625 They said my performance was a knockout! 1.2687 0.03509 201 152 44 5
1626 And for my next piece, 'Float like a butterfly, sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2687 0.03782 201 156 36 9
1627 This one is dedicated to my lovely ex-wife. 1.2684 0.03995 190 149 31 10
1628 This next nocturne is scheduled for 10 rounds. 1.2684 0.03706 190 145 39 6
1629 And now a little tune from Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2684 0.03925 190 148 33 9
1630 So, how does your school’s fight song go?” 1.2684 0.03453 231 178 44 9
1631 Now, this next tune may ring a bell. 1.2683 0.04246 164 128 28 8
1632 You requested Roberto Duran Duran? 1.2683 0.03795 205 160 35 10
1633 I need my mouthpiece! 1.2683 0.03919 205 162 31 12
1634 And now for a blow by blow rendition of Schubert's Three Military Marches, Opus 51. 1.2683 0.04156 205 166 23 16
1635 Now for some minimalism. 1.2682 0.03621 220 171 39 10
1636 Can anyone help me find middle C? 1.2682 0.03844 220 175 31 14
1637 Thank you. And now, this one will just knock you out. 1.2681 0.03251 235 178 51 6
1638 My next piece will attempt to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2681 0.03414 235 181 45 9
1639 And now, Rockymanenough Piano Concerto no. 2 1.2681 0.03621 235 185 37 13
1640 And now for "The Boxer" by Paul Simon. 1.2680 0.04071 194 154 28 12
1641 And we start our session with Chopin’s “Barcarrolle in F Sharp Jab to the Right. 1.2680 0.03507 194 146 44 4
1642 And now, for my rendition of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” 1.2679 0.03746 209 163 36 10
1643 Minuet for two thumbs. 1.2679 0.03684 209 162 38 9
1644 …called Migraine in A Major. 1.2679 0.03746 209 163 36 10
1645 Chopsticks it is then! 1.2678 0.03479 239 186 42 11
1646 Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what I learned from Viktor Borge. 1.2677 0.03680 198 152 39 7
1647 This next number really hits hard. 1.2676 0.03698 213 166 37 10
1648 Let's get ready to crescendo! 1.2675 0.03424 228 175 45 8
1649 I said Bach, not box. 1.2674 0.04193 172 135 28 9
1650 If anybody shouts, "Yo, Adrian," you will be removed from the premises. 1.2673 0.03894 202 159 32 11
1651 Trump Concerto in F Minor 1.2673 0.04079 202 162 26 14
1652 Now I know what Theresa May must feel like. 1.2673 0.03830 202 158 34 10
1653 I shall now attempt the dreaded Rachy III 1.2673 0.03894 202 159 32 11
1654 Sonata in the key of Ali 1.2673 0.03709 217 170 36 11
1655 Knocked out Bethoven's Fifth. 1.2673 0.03823 217 172 32 13
1656 ...and to conclude, here is the Welterweight Waltz in B-flat Major. 1.2673 0.03652 217 169 38 10
1657 And now I will transition from tickling the ivories to punching them 1.2670 0.03835 191 148 35 8
1658 Welcome to our Boxng Day concert. 1.2670 0.03963 206 164 29 13
1659 And now for something 'molto energetico e furioso' ! 1.2670 0.03841 206 162 33 11
1660 It's just a little number I came up with for Boxing Day this year. 1.2670 0.03903 206 163 31 12
1661 Ok, I'm gonna' need an eight count for this next one... 1.2670 0.03774 221 175 33 13
1662 And now for round three. 1.2670 0.03549 221 171 41 9
1663 In this final piece, I will be combining The Art of the Fugue with the Queensberry Rules. 1.2670 0.03491 221 170 43 8
1664 And now, in memory of Rod Serling, Anthony Quinn, Jackie Gleason and Mickey Rooney: Requiem for a Heavyweight 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1665 The gloves, sir, are to protect my hands. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1666 I will now play some Black & Blues. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1667 This final movement, a rondo played in robust fortissimo, delivers a real knockout! 1.2667 0.03212 225 169 52 4
1668 This next song is a punchy little number ... 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1669 My next piece is John Cage's 4'33 1.2667 0.03783 195 151 36 8
1670 I call this one Too Many Notes 1.2667 0.03987 195 154 30 11
1671 This is a little something my three-year-old wrote... 1.2667 0.03827 180 138 36 6
1672 And now, a couple of rounds with Shoenberg. 1.2664 0.03800 214 169 33 12
1673 You should hear me play when the gloves come off 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1674 Boo me one more time - I dare you! 1.2664 0.03623 214 166 39 9
1675 And now something more contemporary... 1.2664 0.03857 214 170 31 13
1676 This evening instead of tickling the ivories I will be punching them. 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1677 Promise you, next song is a knockout. 1.2664 0.03436 214 163 45 6
1678 And one more time, the opening notes of Beethoven's Fifth. 1.2664 0.03683 214 167 37 10
1679 Down goes Mozart! 1.2663 0.03931 199 157 31 11
1680 Now I will play a theme from Rocky. 1.2663 0.04076 184 145 29 10
1681 I will now perform the Nocturne Pugilistica by Sugar Ray Mozart. 1.2663 0.03928 184 143 33 8
1682 Clair de lune? What key? 1.2663 0.03852 184 142 35 7
1683 My performance will float like Madame Butterfly and sting like Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2661 0.03807 218 173 32 13
1684 Last, here's my rendition of that old favorite: "There's a Bull in the China Shop." 1.2661 0.03578 218 169 40 9
1685 I call this next piece, “The Stomping Elephant” 1.2660 0.03617 203 156 40 7
1686 And now, Rockymaninoff’s IVth 1.2660 0.03877 203 160 32 11
1687 Welcome to Rocky in E minor 1.2660 0.03814 203 159 34 10
1688 Yes, I lost a bet and yes, you can get a ticket refund. 1.2658 0.03535 222 172 41 9
1689 I thought you said this was a fight song... 1.2657 0.03825 207 163 33 11
1690 I'll now play the 3rd movement of Muhammad Ali's second symphony 1.2657 0.03763 207 162 35 10
1691 ...and while I am entirely grateful to Modells for underwriting this concert, I do feel compelled to mention that there were certain strings attached.... 1.2657 0.03505 207 158 43 6
1692 This piano and I haven't been getting along lately... 1.2657 0.03763 207 162 35 10
1693 and now...Brahms' Second Concerto in Knocked Flat. 1.2657 0.03636 207 160 39 8
1694 Yo, Adrian! I did it! 1.2657 0.03946 207 165 29 13
1695 I thought you said "_Box_ Sonata"! 1.2657 0.03825 207 163 33 11
1696 And for my next number, a knockout version of Moonlight Sonata. 1.2654 0.03591 211 163 40 8
1697 'I will now play 'Silent Night'. 1.2654 0.03893 211 168 30 13
1698 Can somebody give me a hand? 1.2654 0.03715 211 165 36 10
1699 Any request? 1.2653 0.03902 196 154 32 10
1700 And, now, something a little punchy. 1.2653 0.03624 196 150 40 6
1701 My next number is the Carpal Tunnel Suite. 1.2653 0.03902 196 154 32 10
1702 Here's a little something for those of you who like less definition. 1.2651 0.03668 215 168 37 10
1703 Contrary to what others believe, Mr. Trump believes a pianist plays just as well with boxing gloves as without. While I don't expect to convince him, I will try to prove to others this just isn't true. 1.2651 0.03547 215 166 41 8
1704 I apologize, the gloves proved much more difficult to take off than to put on. 1.2650 0.03648 200 154 39 7
1705 Up next, my classical one-two combo. 1.2650 0.03578 200 153 41 6
1706 . . . my own composition, an atonal 'Ode to Donald' . 1.2649 0.04199 185 148 25 12
1707 Let me know if you don't like this one. 1.2648 0.03505 219 169 42 8
1708 What do you mean there's no punchline? 1.2647 0.03860 204 161 32 11
1709 My next piece is played fortissississimo. 1.2647 0.03922 204 162 30 12
1710 It's more of a Box-trot. 1.2647 0.03668 204 158 38 8
1711 This next one will be a bit punchier than the last. 1.2647 0.03733 204 159 36 9
1712 And now, The Dance of the Butterfly, by Muhammad Ali 1.2647 0.03983 204 163 28 13
1713 To start with, I'll just knock out a little sonata. 1.2647 0.03534 204 156 42 6
1714 You might recognize this Paul Simon cover 1.2647 0.03668 204 158 38 8
1715 Tickling the ivories? Uh, no. I don't think so. 1.2646 0.03464 223 172 43 8
1716 And now for Rockymaniovs's Concerto No. 3 1.2646 0.03926 189 148 32 9
1717 And now I'm going to knock out one of my old favorites. 1.2646 0.03780 189 146 36 7
1718 And now for my next piece, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.’ 1.2646 0.04203 189 152 24 13
1719 These piece symbolizes both internal and external conflict 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1720 Now here's a little ditty from my boxed set. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1721 I'm taking requests for fight songs 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1722 Franz Lizst bangs the Piano with his Fizst. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1723 Now a little something from Wagner’s “Ring of the Mittelveight”. 1.2642 0.03656 193 148 39 6
1724 And now The Mike Tyson Overture. 1.2642 0.03818 212 168 32 12
1725 The record shows I took the blows and did it myyyyyy waaaayyyy 1.2642 0.03759 212 167 34 11
1726 And now my medley of college fight songs. 1.2642 0.03513 212 163 42 7
1727 Tonight I will be playing selections from Wagner’s Ring Cycle 1.2642 0.03759 212 167 34 11
1728 But you said you wanted a more punchy arrangement! 1.2640 0.03762 178 136 37 5
1729 As Beethoven famously asked, “Do you want a piece of me?” 1.2640 0.03749 197 153 36 8
1730 The gloves come off when you start clapping. 1.2640 0.03818 197 154 34 9
1731 And not without a smattering of irony. 1.2640 0.03536 197 150 42 5
1732 Now a little music for Boxing Day. 1.2640 0.03885 197 155 32 10
1733 It would be best if you sang in rounds. 1.2639 0.03711 216 170 35 11
1734 My next piece is a bout . . . 1.2637 0.03700 201 156 37 8
1735 You should see the keys!! 1.2637 0.03960 201 160 29 12
1736 Now I’d like to play music from The Ring. 1.2637 0.03896 201 159 31 11
1737 I said I was a pugilist not a pianist! 1.2636 0.03665 220 173 36 11
1738 You were expecting maybe the guy with the candlabra? 1.2636 0.03550 220 171 40 9
1739 Get ready to rumble 1.2636 0.03491 220 170 42 8
1740 And now more favorites from the life of Joe Louis! 1.2636 0.03468 239 187 41 11
1741 Shubert's Piano Sonata No. 21 in B-flat major, Trump technique. 1.2634 0.04109 186 148 27 11
1742 Let’s get ready to rondo! 1.2634 0.03717 205 160 36 9
1743 The sudden realization of having forgotten to zip. 1.2634 0.03729 224 178 33 13
1744 Anvil Chorus, anyone? 1.2634 0.03450 224 173 43 8
1745 And now, Balboa's piano concerto in C, B, B flat, A, A flat and G" 1.2634 0.03887 224 181 27 16
1746 ...in the key of b-c-d-e-f 1.2634 0.03564 224 175 39 10
1747 And now for a sonata by Serge Rockymaninoff. 1.2632 0.03912 209 167 29 13
1748 I fought my whole life to get on a stage like this! 1.2632 0.03669 209 163 37 9
1749 Just warming up 1.2632 0.03669 209 163 37 9
1750 I call this next piece, “The Fight of The Bumblebee “. 1.2632 0.03853 209 166 31 12
1751 And now for Round 2 of tonight's performance. 1.2632 0.03467 228 177 42 9
1752 Oh, I thought it was “Fight of the Bumblebee” ! 1.2629 0.03535 232 182 39 11
1753 My next piece is the theme from ‘Rocky’! 1.2629 0.03743 213 168 34 11
1754 And now my knockout sonata. 1.2629 0.03561 213 165 40 8
1755 Naturally I belt out music. 1.2629 0.03499 213 164 42 7
1756 I will now play 'Sonata in D minor', by George Foreman. 1.2629 0.03783 194 151 35 8
1757 And now ladies and gentlemen the Ali Fraser concerto 1.2629 0.03639 194 149 39 6
1758 I'm afraid my performance will be a little rocky 1.2629 0.04249 194 158 21 15
1759 And my next piece will be "Uppercut in D Minor" 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1760 And now a little something I wrote for Boxing Day. 1.2627 0.03579 217 169 39 9
1761 This next piece was composed by the great Muhammad Ali. 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1762 Sorry I'm late, folks! I had to fight my way through traffic. 1.2627 0.03638 217 170 37 10
1763 I'll knock out one more tune prior to intermission. 1.2627 0.03696 217 171 35 11
1764 Some consider my interpretation to be aggressive 1.2626 0.03933 198 157 30 11
1765 Allow me to punch something out for your listening pleasure. 1.2626 0.03372 198 149 46 3
1766 Agreed--but wait till you hear my double glissando. 1.2624 0.03536 221 172 40 9
1767 After I am done here, dis piano will be nuttin but chopstiks 1.2623 0.03852 183 142 34 7
1768 I was told to give the ivories a good pounding. 1.2623 0.03929 183 143 32 8
1769 They wanted me to stop tickling the ivories 1.2621 0.03701 206 161 36 9
1770 It's a knockout tune. 1.2621 0.03636 206 160 38 8
1771 I thought you requested the "Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2621 0.03827 206 163 32 11
1772 And now, the theme song I wrote for "Rocky," which was unfortunately rejected. 1.2620 0.03341 229 176 46 7
1773 Thank you. This next piece floats like a butterfly but stings like a bee. 1.2619 0.03776 210 166 33 11
1774 I'm still working on the hook. 1.2619 0.03836 210 167 31 12
1775 I am thrilled to be performing my first concert since completing my twelve step anti nose picking program. 1.2617 0.03547 214 166 40 8
1776 This next piece is titled, "Theme from Rocky". 1.2617 0.03728 214 169 34 11
1777 And now, for my final piece, The Battle Hymn of the Republic. 1.2617 0.03421 214 164 44 6
1778 Taking the gloves off is not mentioned in the composer’s original manuscript. 1.2617 0.03421 214 164 44 6
1779 Music box? 1.2617 0.03669 214 168 36 10
1780 My next piece will be the theme from Rocky. 1.2616 0.03429 237 185 42 10
1781 This next piece is by Pugiliski 1.2615 0.03623 195 150 39 6
1782 This will be on the forte end of pianoforte, okay?" 1.2615 0.03623 195 150 39 6
1783 ...and now, "Brahms' Lullaby". 1.2615 0.03904 195 154 31 10
1784 Now here's one that'll really knock your socks off 1.2615 0.03504 218 169 41 8
1785 And you thought Ray Charles had it hard! 1.2615 0.03623 218 171 37 10
1786 I'm hoping this will strike a chord with you. 1.2615 0.03738 218 173 33 12
1787 This next piece is a banger. 1.2615 0.03681 218 172 35 11
1788 My next piece, Schumann's Toccata in C Major, is dedicated to my first piano teacher who told my mother I was all thumbs. 1.2613 0.03647 199 154 38 7
1789 And now, Ladies and Gentleman, I will take a stab at the notoriously difficult "Etude Brute." 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
1790 I will now play the classic theme from ROCKY. 1.2613 0.03716 199 155 36 8
1791 I will now perform the Victor Borge Concerto 1.2613 0.04043 199 160 26 13
1792 Which one of you yelled, 'I want the hits'? 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
1793 My ‘knockturno’ interpretation is quite dramatic. 1.2613 0.03647 199 154 38 7
1794 And now, I would like to play you something from my pugilistic period. 1.2613 0.03463 222 172 42 8
1795 Tough piece. 1.2611 0.03734 203 159 35 9
1796 As you may have surmised...No, I,don’t have insurance for my hands. 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1797 Last time this piece got the better of me..... 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1798 I'd like to start tonight's Jerry Lee Lewis tribute with an old favorite 1.2611 0.03480 226 176 41 9
1799 And now "he Theme from Wagner's "THE RING" 1.2609 0.04107 207 169 22 16
1800 This sonata will knock you out. 1.2609 0.03621 207 161 38 8
1801 They said I should "punch it up." 1.2607 0.03381 211 161 45 5
1802 Next up is a really punchy tune. 1.2607 0.03512 211 163 41 7
1803 And now, ladies and gentlemen: Für Evander. 1.2607 0.03879 211 169 29 13
1804 This next one is by Rockymaninoff 1.2606 0.03927 188 148 31 9
1805 ‘Some say I am the Mike Tyson of the keys.’ 1.2606 0.03626 188 144 39 5
1806 Well, tickling the ivories wasn't working! 1.2605 0.03468 238 187 40 11
1807 Now, I'll knock out the encore. 1.2605 0.03653 215 169 36 10
1808 Management wanted me to stop tickling the ivories. 1.2605 0.03594 215 168 38 9
1809 What can I say? When I play "The Boxer" I have to get into character. 1.2605 0.03653 215 169 36 10
1810 And now I'd like to play a little sonata of my own composition called "Golden Gloves" in the keys of C through G. 1.2605 0.03828 215 172 30 13
1811 My other job is a hand model. 1.2605 0.03594 215 168 38 9
1812 I will next do battle with Rachmaninoff's No. 3 1.2604 0.03728 192 149 36 7
1813 I bet you've never heard the 1812 Overture on the piano! 1.2603 0.03723 219 174 33 12
1814 This next one goes out to ADRIAAAAAAN! 1.2603 0.03490 219 170 41 8
1815 How do you folks feel about tone clusters? 1.2603 0.03550 219 171 39 9
1816 My next number will be a one hit wonder. 1.2602 0.03819 196 154 33 9
1817 I will now do my performance art version of "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2602 0.03679 196 152 37 7
1818 The latest OSHA regulation. 1.2602 0.03953 196 156 29 11
1819 They said make the finale more punchy! 1.2602 0.03679 196 152 37 7
1820 ...And by special request, I'll be playing the theme to "Rocky". 1.2601 0.03565 223 175 38 10
1821 The next piece will be a bit bombastic.... 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1822 This is how I knock out the hits. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1823 You requested more punch? 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1824 I did it myyyyyyy wayyyyyyy 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1825 For your listening pleasure, I'll knock out a few oldies. 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1826 Rockymaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Pugilism. 1.2600 0.04087 200 162 24 14
1827 I will now play from Wagner's Ring Cycle. Round One. 1.2599 0.03467 227 177 41 9
1828 And now, my unique version of "Sock It ToMe! 1.2598 0.03517 204 157 41 6
1829 For my next number, I will play the theme from "Rocky." 1.2598 0.04029 204 165 25 14
1830 It's all in the wrist. 1.2596 0.03732 208 164 34 10
1831 Now I will play ‘Fight of the bumblebee’ better known as ‘Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.’ 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1832 playing piano is nothing compared to getting dressed. 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1833 I never liked the piano 1.2596 0.03732 208 164 34 10
1834 And now finally Mr. President, a special piece for you -- a little atonal number you might recall, 'One is the Loneliest Number.' 1.2596 0.03855 208 166 30 12
1835 With so many Messiahs to compete with I dedicate this next piece to the Electoral College. 1.2596 0.03442 235 184 41 10
1836 The next piece will be three minutes long. 1.2595 0.03815 185 144 34 7
1837 What - you don't like Punchini? 1.2595 0.03815 185 144 34 7
1838 Not to brag, but this concerto will be over in one round. 1.2594 0.03368 212 162 45 5
1839 And now, for the 'modern music' portion of our program .... 1.2594 0.03685 212 167 35 10
1840 It needs a good tune up. 1.2594 0.03623 212 166 37 9
1841 Staccato, you said? 1.2594 0.03561 212 165 39 8
1842 The starting note is "ding ding ding". 1.2594 0.03498 212 164 41 7
1843 I would like to begin my Simon and Garfunkel medley with “The Boxer”. 1.2593 0.03394 216 166 44 6
1844 I’ll do the next song a cappella. 1.2593 0.03909 189 149 31 9
1845 Now for the couple at the cozy corner table, some tunes to fight by 1.2593 0.03755 216 172 32 12
1846 As my hero said, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Flight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2593 0.03687 189 146 37 6
1847 I am leaving. I am leaving. 1.2593 0.03518 216 168 40 8
1848 That was the 'pianissimo.' 1.2591 0.03536 220 172 39 9
1849 I can assure you - you've never heard chopsticks as I am about to perform it! 1.2591 0.03763 220 176 31 13
1850 This time I'm going to play something a bit more punchy. 1.2591 0.03854 193 152 32 9
1851 I haven't worked out every note on this next piece, but I'm very passionate about it. 1.2591 0.03784 193 151 34 8
1852 I will now play ‘the Boxer’ written by Simon and Garfunkel! In D flat. 1.2591 0.03784 193 151 34 8
1853 I'm thrilled to finally reach the "Knock-Out Round" of this prestigious competition. 1.2589 0.03436 224 174 42 8
1854 Let’s get ready to rumbaaaaa! 1.2589 0.03436 224 174 42 8
1855 ...and now, the theme from ‘Rocky’ 1.2589 0.03935 197 157 29 11
1856 I could a been a contender... 1.2589 0.03518 197 151 41 5
1857 And now I will knock out the rest of the ring cycle 1.2589 0.03591 197 152 39 6
1858 As for the reviewer who suggested my repertoire lacked punch.… 1.2588 0.03454 228 178 41 9
1859 It helps with the nail-biting. 1.2588 0.03397 228 177 43 8
1860 What happens in Piano club...stays in piano club. 1.2587 0.03881 201 160 30 11
1861 I will now play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2587 0.03881 201 160 30 11
1862 In the spirit of this Holiday Concert, and to celebrate the diversity of the season, I will now perform a special Boxing Day carol. 1.2587 0.03944 201 161 28 12
1863 My next number is the "beat goes on" 1.2587 0.03751 201 158 34 9
1864 Take that, Mr. Rachmaninoff...... 1.2586 0.03627 232 185 34 13
1865 It's 'Chopsticks' but with a 3.2 degree of difficulty. 1.2586 0.03469 232 182 40 10
1866 And now, by request, LaMotta Sonata. 1.2586 0.03678 232 186 32 14
1867 I always wear these when I play the theme song from Rocky. 1.2585 0.03570 205 159 39 7
1868 And next, I would like to pound out a tune on my old piano... 1.2585 0.03636 205 160 37 8
1869 Now I’ll knock out another song for you. 1.2585 0.03636 205 160 37 8
1870 What did you think "Ring Cycle" meant? 1.2585 0.03701 205 161 35 9
1871 Tonight I will be playing selections from “The Divorce of Figaro”. 1.2585 0.03766 205 162 33 10
1872 I'm ready to Bachs. 1.2585 0.03829 205 163 31 11
1873 And now I present to you: knuckle-sandwich, in C minor. 1.2584 0.03591 209 163 38 8
1874 The next selection is by Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2584 0.03898 209 168 28 13
1875 And finally, the punchline. 1.2584 0.03778 209 166 32 11
1876 ...and for my next piece, here's 'Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2584 0.03591 209 163 38 8
1877 And now ladies and gentlemen, Tchaikovsky’s ‘Incompetent Piano Movers’ in G Minor. 1.2583 0.03591 240 192 34 14
1878 While my scales may have suffered, my arpeggios are to die for! 1.2583 0.03392 240 188 42 10
1879 Oh, I'll hit the right note alright! 1.2582 0.03484 213 165 41 7
1880 Guess I grabbed the wrong bag at the airport 1.2581 0.03873 186 146 32 8
1881 It is the insurance company's rule. 1.2581 0.03564 217 170 38 9
1882 For my next number, I will play Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar. 1.2579 0.03580 221 174 37 10
1883 Float Like a Tchaikovsky, sting like a Beethoven 1.2577 0.03837 194 153 32 9
1884 Want to hear a punchy tune? 1.2577 0.03837 194 153 32 9
1885 The judges had warned Marcel that his habit of picking his nose between sets made the other contestants uneasy. Yet their solution seemed harsh....and made it difficult for him to compete. 1.2577 0.03906 194 154 30 10
1886 My finale will be a unique, spirited medley of fight songs. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1887 let's hit it again 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1888 And now I shall play Wagner... 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1889 Yes, I'm Johann Sebastian Box. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1890 We've had a request for the National Anthem. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1891 And now, for the Flight of the Pugilist. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1892 We're going to pick up the pace. For the next number, I'm going to play something a little more punchy. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1893 They all laughed when I sat down at the piano... 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1894 He'd do anything for a hit song 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1895 For this next piece you might want to turn down the volume on your cellphones. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1896 My next piece is entitled, "The Boxer Rebellion." 1.2575 0.03613 233 186 34 13
1897 This one is called ‘Sonata in ABCDEFG’ 1.2574 0.03927 202 162 28 12
1898 And now, "Fly Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee" 1.2574 0.03800 202 160 32 10
1899 I guess I'll just roll with the punches 1.2574 0.03668 202 158 36 8
1900 Here's a punchy little number I think you'll like. 1.2574 0.03864 202 161 30 11
1901 Pianissimo forget about it, Fortissimo I got..... 1.2574 0.03201 237 182 49 6
1902 This one'll be a knock out. 1.2573 0.03555 206 160 39 7
1903 I call this piece "Etude in the Key of Everything." 1.2573 0.03749 206 163 33 10
1904 For my next number, I'd like a stool, a mouthpiece and a round girl from the audience.... 1.2573 0.03621 206 161 37 8
1905 And now, Beethoven’s Right Hook, in D. 1.2571 0.03762 210 167 32 11
1906 Float like a Puccini, sting like a Rimsky-Korsakov...? 1.2571 0.04418 175 143 19 13
1907 Now I will play for you 'Sting Like A Bee.' 1.2571 0.03762 210 167 32 11
1908 And now I'd like to play Black and Blue Suede Shoes 1.2570 0.03594 214 168 37 9
1909 I have a love- hate relationship with the piano 1.2570 0.03532 214 167 39 8
1910 As a former boxer, I will play the next piece in my favorite key. B flat. 1.2570 0.03654 214 169 35 10
1911 I prefer to pound rather than tickle the ivories! 1.2570 0.03532 214 167 39 8
1912 And now Mister President, I shall play the “Minute Waltz” in 47 seconds. 1.2569 0.03490 218 170 40 8
1913 Everyone now...supercali-pugilistic-expialidocious... 1.2569 0.03836 218 176 28 14
1914 I could play this with one hand tied behind my back. 1.2569 0.03429 218 169 42 7
1915 Let me welcome you to our annual Boxing Day concert 1.2569 0.03550 218 171 38 9
1916 Here’s a little something I wrote that requires playing a lot of consecutive keys at the same time. 1.2568 0.03508 222 174 39 9
1917 I float like a butterfly but sting in B-minor 1.2568 0.03508 222 174 39 9
1918 Did someone request, The Boxer? 1.2568 0.03389 222 172 43 7
1919 Tonight's performance is a tribute to Mohammad Ali 1.2567 0.03779 187 146 34 7
1920 Excuse me, this piano needs tuning! 1.2566 0.03523 226 178 38 10
1921 A-minor challenge 1.2565 0.03728 191 149 35 7
1922 And now I present Sibulski's Concerto in A minor, D minor, and E-flat major 1.2565 0.03943 191 152 29 10
1923 Next, I'll be playing a classic piece by Muhammad Ali. 1.2565 0.03590 230 183 35 12
1924 This next piece is a hit song. 1.2564 0.03334 234 182 44 8
1925 Down an octave goes Frazier! Down an octave goes Frazier! 1.2564 0.03334 234 182 44 8
1926 And now, Mozart's Sonata for middleweight southpaw in A Minor 1.2563 0.03244 238 184 47 7
1927 And now I will attempt to go twelve rounds with the piano. 1.2563 0.03560 199 154 39 6
1928 And now, for Chopin's Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2563 0.03900 199 159 29 11
1929 I will now play Box Prelude and Fugue in G Minor 1.2562 0.03910 203 163 28 12
1930 This is for the critic who called me ham handed 1.2562 0.03516 203 157 40 6
1931 Welcome to the White House holiday party! And please remember to protect yourselves at all times! 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1932 This one will knock you off your feet. 1.2560 0.03733 207 164 33 10
1933 That’s OK! I’m all thumbs anyways! 1.2560 0.03540 207 161 39 7
1934 It's for your protection and mine. 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1935 I don't know if I can play it in that key. 1.2560 0.03670 207 163 35 9
1936 I'm sorry, I only play boxed sets. 1.2559 0.03685 211 167 34 10
1937 Due to recent OSHA regulations for Rachmaninoff... 1.2559 0.03685 211 167 34 10
1938 My new composition is a real knockout. 1.2558 0.03698 215 171 33 11
1939 Let me knock out a number for you! 1.2558 0.03518 215 168 39 8
1940 I will now perform "Fight of the Bumblebees" 1.2557 0.03353 219 169 44 6
1941 And in this corner...Rocky Rachmaninoff !!! 1.2557 0.03820 219 177 28 14
1942 It is so damn hard to follow my dreams simultaneously. 1.2557 0.03765 219 176 30 13
1943 I shall now bust your Chopsticks. 1.2556 0.03663 223 178 33 12
1944 And now ladies and gentlemen, you may remove the complimentary earplugs. 1.2556 0.03436 223 174 41 8
1945 I will now perform Beat It. 1.2556 0.03436 223 174 41 8
1946 An now, a medley of “Rocky” theme songs. 1.2555 0.03619 227 181 34 12
1947 Excuse me while I pound out a few notes. 1.2555 0.03339 227 176 44 7
1948 Now for the old one two 1.2553 0.03376 235 184 42 9
1949 I really like to pound out the notes. 1.2553 0.03527 188 144 40 4
1950 I was thinking of the President when I wrote this piece, it’s really great. 1.2553 0.03585 235 188 34 13
1951 Chopsticks? Really. 1.2552 0.03783 192 151 33 8
1952 I’d like to punch out a few tunes from my new CD. 1.2552 0.03483 192 147 41 4
1953 I’m not sure Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Boxer” is supposed to be played like this.” 1.2552 0.03994 192 154 27 11
1954 And now some Gilbert and Sullivan melodies, as they might have been played by Jack Dempsey. 1.2552 0.03561 192 148 39 5
1955 This one's a bit punchy. 1.2552 0.03783 192 151 33 8
1956 They say my performance is a knock out. 1.2551 0.03802 196 155 32 9
1957 Of course I play by the Queensbury rules! 1.2551 0.03662 196 153 36 7
1958 In honor of Brexit, I will now play the piano version of "Bang the Drums Slowly." 1.2551 0.04068 196 159 24 13
1959 I’m gonna float like Madame Butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebees! 1.2550 0.03751 200 158 33 9
1960 Whew! Rough house! 1.2550 0.03325 200 152 45 3
1961 I alone can play it. 1.2550 0.03817 200 159 31 10
1962 This is Stravinsky - Symphony in three rounds. 1.2549 0.03636 204 160 36 8
1963 Sorry folks I’m all thumbs today 1.2549 0.03636 204 160 36 8
1964 Lllllllets get ready to rumbaaaaaa! 1.2549 0.03830 204 163 30 11
1965 Why do I do this? Because I can't sing or dance. 1.2549 0.03702 204 161 34 9
1966 Next! A college fight song composed by Joe Louis. 1.2548 0.03654 208 164 35 9
1967 And my next number will really knock you out! 1.2547 0.03790 212 170 30 12
1968 No, this is not a variant of the Suzuki Method; it is pure Tyson. 1.2547 0.03730 212 169 32 11
1969 Bear with me, I just had a mani-pedi. 1.2547 0.03418 212 164 42 6
1970 ...And in this corner weighing in at 1086lbs 1.2547 0.03608 212 167 36 9
1971 Let's get rrready to bumble! 1.2547 0.03670 212 168 34 10
1972 Oh, it was "Flight of the Bumblebee?" 1.2547 0.03730 212 169 32 11
1973 I will now play, Float Like A Butterfly,Sting like a Bee. 1.2546 0.03683 216 172 33 11
1974 It's the only way I can play the score to any of the Rocky movies. 1.2546 0.03564 216 170 37 9
1975 Sugar Ray Charles 1.2546 0.03564 216 170 37 9
1976 These ivories need more than tickling. 1.2546 0.03683 216 172 33 11
1977 A serenade for Boxing Day. 1.2546 0.03503 216 169 39 8
1978 Chopin's “Etude in G# minor Has always been a battle for me... 1.2546 0.03624 216 171 35 10
1979 This concert is going the full twelve rounds 1.2545 0.03402 220 171 42 7
1980 They're called Chopsticks preventers. 1.2545 0.03694 220 176 32 12
1981 Louie, Louie" again? Well, if you insist.. 1.2545 0.03593 224 178 35 11
1982 And now, variations on a theme by Marciano. 1.2545 0.03179 224 171 49 4
1983 Are you ready for some chin music 1.2545 0.03593 224 178 35 11
1984 of course I'm wearing a cup 1.2544 0.03605 228 182 34 12
1985 And now, a musical tribute to the Marquess of Queensberry. 1.2543 0.03509 232 184 37 11
1986 And now a piece I call Für Muhammad Ali 1.2541 0.03718 185 144 35 6
1987 Let's see if you can stand me for 12 rounds. 1.2540 0.03668 189 147 36 6
1988 It's the most efficient way to play twelve-tone music 1.2540 0.04103 189 153 24 12
1989 This concert comes as a boxed set 1.2540 0.03591 189 146 38 5
1990 If he doesn't C sharp he’ll B flat. 1.2539 0.03907 193 154 29 10
1991 This is a heavyweight sonata 1.2539 0.03389 193 147 43 3
1992 This original composition will really knock you out. 1.2538 0.03574 197 153 38 6
1993 I should have put more thought into this career change. 1.2538 0.03574 197 153 38 6
1994 My music packs a real punch. 1.2538 0.03645 197 154 36 7
1995 Some football players do ballet in the off-season, I do this 1.2538 0.03785 197 156 32 9
1996 With so many notes, it's always a fight to the finish! 1.2538 0.03645 197 154 36 7
1997 ...and for my next piece I will play “Bling Blong Blaap Blorp” in C-minor 1.2537 0.03800 201 160 31 10
1998 I'll be playing Beethoven's Symphony No. 7 in A major. It may take awhile. 1.2537 0.03599 201 157 37 7
1999 I will now play the Joe Louis lullaby. 1.2537 0.03486 205 159 40 6
2000 Pacquiao's "A Little Fight Music" 1.2537 0.03554 205 160 38 7
2001 My next piece is titled 'Yo Adriana' " 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2002 I wouldn't say "tickling the keys" is my style. 1.2537 0.03554 205 160 38 7
2003 My encore is a real knockout! 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2004 I will now play a version of "Flight of the Bumblebee" , that I have restyled as "Romp of the Hippopotamus" 1.2537 0.03813 205 164 30 11
2005 I shall now play Bach in the combative style. 1.2536 0.03510 209 163 39 7
2006 And now for Beethoven's Piano Sonata Number 1 in F-Minor-ish 1.2535 0.03593 213 168 36 9
2007 And now a little piece by Victor Borge. 1.2535 0.03655 213 169 34 10
2008 Here's a new song that'll really knock you out 1.2535 0.03550 217 171 37 9
2009 For my next number: Tyson's Overture in B-Flat on Your Back. 1.2535 0.03550 217 171 37 9
2010 Here's a Gershwin favorite that really knocks me out... 1.2535 0.03609 217 172 35 10
2011 And now our main event – Beethoven's Sonata in C minor, in 12 rounds 1.2535 0.03235 217 166 47 4
2012 This next number is called 'Fists of Fury'. 1.2534 0.03507 221 174 38 9
2013 For me, playing Chopin's Sonatas have always been a personal battle 1.2534 0.03388 221 172 42 7
2014 Yo, Beethoven -- I did it! 1.2533 0.03290 225 174 45 6
2015 Which one is Middle C? 1.2533 0.03688 225 181 31 13
2016 No worries. The piano's prepared. 1.2533 0.03523 225 178 37 10
2017 Is my playing too aggressive? 1.2533 0.03370 229 179 42 8
2018 I’m hoping to knockout this Sonata in the first movement. 1.2532 0.03162 233 179 49 5
2019 I don’t take requests. 1.2532 0.03351 237 186 42 9
2020 Currently, Rachmaninoff is winning. 1.2527 0.04002 186 149 27 10
2021 My next number, a sing-along, is also a round . 1.2527 0.03855 186 147 31 8
2022 I was hoping they’d help me hit the right notes. 1.2526 0.03889 194 155 29 10
2023 I only perform once a year - On Boxers Day. 1.2526 0.03749 194 153 33 8
2024 Let's get rrready to rrrubato! 1.2525 0.03583 202 158 37 7
2025 Now I’ll play a fugue by Mohammed Ali 1.2525 0.03912 202 163 27 12
2026 Ladies and gentlemen: Counterpunch was Bach's specialty, as I shall now demonstrate 1.2525 0.03848 202 162 29 11
2027 Watch and listen while I pummel the hell out of this thing. 1.2525 0.03784 202 161 31 10
2028 For my next piece :"The fight of the Bumblebee 1.2525 0.03651 202 159 35 8
2029 Next time you clap or somebody gets hurt. 1.2524 0.03605 206 162 36 8
2030 A boxed set of tonight’s performance will be available for purchase during the interval. 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
2031 My ivories don't like to be tickled. 1.2524 0.03670 206 163 34 9
2032 The insurance on my fingers was outrageous! 1.2524 0.03734 206 164 32 10
2033 Well you said I should attack the music! 1.2524 0.03224 210 160 47 3
2034 This next number will really knock you out! 1.2523 0.03454 214 167 40 7
2035 I believe single notes are banal and over-rated. 1.2523 0.03595 218 173 35 10
2036 My next piece is “Float like a butterfly” 1.2523 0.03595 218 173 35 10
2037 I will now play the Rachmaninoff Prelude in A through G minor. 1.2523 0.03664 222 178 32 12
2038 And now I will play Dance Like a Butterfly and Sting Like a Bumblebee by Rimsky Ali 1.2523 0.03664 222 178 32 12
2039 Ladies and Gentleman, Bachy Balboa! 1.2523 0.03435 222 174 40 8
2040 I don't know why I can't hit that last note. 1.2523 0.03493 222 175 38 9
2041 And more, much more than this, I did it Steeeiiinway. 1.2522 0.03278 226 175 45 6
2042 This next piece demonstrates the difficulty bumblebees actually have in flight. 1.2522 0.03453 226 178 39 9
2043 Time to punch out a new tune. 1.2522 0.03577 230 184 34 12
2044 My next piece is critic-proof. 1.2522 0.03469 230 182 38 10
2045 A special technique is required for the arpeggios. 1.2521 0.03586 234 188 33 13
2046 Something punchy? 1.2513 0.03683 187 146 35 6
2047 Tickling the ivories" is so last century 1.2513 0.03926 191 153 28 10
2048 Would someone from the audience help me find my keys? 1.2513 0.03783 191 151 32 8
2049 Yo, Liberace. 1.2513 0.03802 195 155 31 9
2050 I will be playing pugilist in D Major. 1.2513 0.03683 199 157 34 8
2051 Maybe this piano's out of tune. 1.2513 0.03751 199 158 32 9
2052 This evening’s performance, of Tyson’s 1st, is also available on a box set. 1.2513 0.03818 199 159 30 10
2053 Ladies and gentlemen, we are recording tonight's performance which, I expect, will be released as a boxed set. 1.2512 0.03635 203 160 35 8
2054 And now for my final piece, "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumblebee." 1.2512 0.03831 203 163 29 11
2055 Next, The Minute Waltz in 30 seconds. 1.2512 0.03589 207 163 36 8
2056 '"and now - Franz Listz's My Fisto Waltz" 1.2512 0.03654 207 164 34 9
2057 How else do you propose I play The Boxer? 1.2512 0.03589 207 163 36 8
2058 I call this one 'Punch in the F-A-C-E. 1.2512 0.03654 207 164 34 9
2059 Float like a butterfly, sing in B. 1.2512 0.03545 211 166 37 8
2060 ...and now, my tribute to Rocky Balboa. 1.2512 0.03791 211 170 29 12
2061 I thought you said “Box Art of Fugue.” 1.2512 0.03731 211 169 31 11
2062 Tickling the ivories got old. 1.2512 0.03311 215 166 44 5
2063 Who knew playing "The Boxer" would prove this challenging ? 1.2512 0.03742 215 173 30 12
2064 This next piece is a little punchy. 1.2512 0.03376 215 167 42 6
2065 next round's on me... 1.2511 0.03521 219 173 37 9
2066 One note requests please. 1.2511 0.03382 227 178 41 8
2067 Now I'm going to play 4'33'' by John Cage 1.2511 0.03605 227 182 33 12
2068 I'm only playing my greatest hits. 1.2511 0.03509 231 184 36 11
2069 My next song will be a cappella 1.2500 0.03680 220 177 31 12
2070 Anyone want to hear the theme from Rocky? 1.2500 0.03413 204 158 41 5
2071 This next piece is called "I am the greatest" and is dedicated to Muhammad Ali 1.2500 0.03530 212 167 37 8
2072 And now, "Eine Kleine Kampfmusik". 1.2500 0.03309 252 200 41 11
2073 This is how I flatten the flats. 1.2500 0.03408 224 176 40 8
2074 Nail fungus is nothing to chuckle about, ask the harp player. 1.2500 0.03764 208 167 30 11
2075 For my next piece I will play "The Fight of the Bumblebee" 1.2500 0.03908 192 154 28 10
2076 I shall now play the "I AM THE GREATEST" Sonata I composed in memory of Muhammad Ali. 1.2500 0.03619 204 161 35 8
2077 I call this `Broken Piano`. 1.2500 0.03692 192 151 34 7
2078 I will now float like Madam Butterfly then sting with the Flight of the Bumble Bee. 1.2500 0.03609 216 172 34 10
2079 ...and a special thanks to Performers Insurance Co. for finding a way to reduce my premiums. 1.2500 0.03623 220 176 33 11
2080 This one's for you, Mr. Stallone. 1.2500 0.03507 220 174 37 9
2081 This is my own interpretation of Cage's 4'33". 1.2500 0.03597 200 157 36 7
2082 I don’t exactly tickle the ivories anymore. 1.2500 0.03666 200 158 34 8
2083 This next piece is called “Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee.” 1.2500 0.03447 220 173 39 8
2084 And then The Maestro begged me to stop fighting the instrument. 1.2500 0.03702 208 166 32 10
2085 Who is my opponent? 1.2500 0.03408 224 176 40 8
2086 And I'd like to close with a little chin music. 1.2500 0.03715 196 155 33 8
2087 Now for some Rachymaninoff. 1.2500 0.03825 208 168 28 12
2088 Yo Amadeus...I did it. 1.2500 0.03921 196 158 27 11
2089 And now for my finale, Rope-a-dope fortissimo 1.2500 0.03552 204 160 37 7
2090 For my encore, the theme from 'Rocky.' 1.2500 0.03523 224 178 36 10
2091 I present to you now a finale that floats like Madame Butterfly yet stings like Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2500 0.03666 200 158 34 8
2092 You want me to do what?? 1.2500 0.03853 196 157 29 10
2093 I play like a butterfly and sing like a bee. 1.2500 0.04052 196 160 23 13
2094 My next selection is Paul Simon's "The Boxer". 1.2500 0.03267 212 163 45 4
2095 And now, for your enjoyment, I will box the ivories. 1.2500 0.03749 228 186 27 15
2096 This next piece is sure to be a knockout. 1.2500 0.03715 196 155 33 8
2097 And now for a slow rendition of Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2500 0.03479 244 196 35 13
2098 This next one's a knockout. 1.2500 0.03666 188 147 35 6
2099 Now I will play, “Domm, Domm, Domm,...Dommmm.. 1.2500 0.03609 216 172 34 10
2100 I said Bach's work, not box work. 1.2500 0.03743 188 148 33 7
2101 I call this next piece,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2489 0.03587 233 188 32 13
2102 This next one’s called “I’m a failure and my wife’s leaving me.” 1.2489 0.03577 229 184 33 12
2103 And now, our alma mater's fight song. 1.2489 0.03509 225 179 36 10
2104 This next one really packs a punch! 1.2489 0.03373 221 173 41 7
2105 Next, a lively rendition of Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2489 0.03373 221 173 41 7
2106 And now a piece from Wagner's lesser-known Boxing Ring Trilogy. 1.2488 0.03711 217 175 30 12
2107 This next piece is titled 'I Could Have Been (a Contender)'." 1.2488 0.03711 217 175 30 12
2108 Now, the ‘Fight of the Bumblebee’ 1.2488 0.03284 217 168 44 5
2109 And now, a new composition for Boxing Day. 1.2488 0.03595 217 173 34 10
2110 Jetzt, eine kleine Kampfmusik. 1.2488 0.03578 213 169 35 9
2111 Prepare to be really impressed. 1.2488 0.03452 213 167 39 7
2112 I range from Marvin Hamlisch to Marvin Hagler. 1.2488 0.03559 209 165 36 8
2113 You guys like “Chopsticks”? 1.2488 0.03686 209 167 32 10
2114 And now for 'Float like a butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' in A minor 1.2488 0.03559 209 165 36 8
2115 That bum is going down in the second movement. 1.2488 0.03427 209 163 40 6
2116 Quite frankly, I’m much more accustomed to pounding on an organ. 1.2488 0.03469 205 160 39 6
2117 And now, Concerto Number 4, Round 3, in B-flat minor. 1.2488 0.03581 201 158 36 7
2118 Don't play it again, Sam. 1.2488 0.03784 201 161 30 10
2119 My guess is this job switch is working out better for me than my partner. 1.2488 0.03650 201 159 34 8
2120 I forgot the punch line! 1.2487 0.03903 197 159 27 11
2121 My dog wrote this next piece. 1.2487 0.03969 197 160 25 12
2122 I glissando like a butterfly and trill like a bee! 1.2487 0.03601 193 151 36 6
2123 You should hear me play the zither. 1.2487 0.03725 189 149 33 7
2124 I will now play... with your expectations. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
2125 For my encore I will play Opus 7 in A, B and C Major 1.2479 0.03675 234 191 28 15
2126 My next piece will be played on this Steinway that has never been touched by human hands. 1.2478 0.03381 226 178 40 8
2127 Chopin is down for the count in three -quarter time. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2128 And now, C minor in 12 rounds. 1.2477 0.03638 218 175 32 11
2129 I hope that some in the audience tonight will be able to distinguish the downbeat versus the beat down. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2130 This next selection is an experimental piece by Philip Glass. 1.2477 0.03460 218 172 38 8
2131 For my next selection, I will be playing the theme from "Rocky". 1.2477 0.03563 214 170 35 9
2132 I will now perform Mike Tyson's concerto in B flat. 1.2477 0.03915 214 176 23 15
2133 And now the punchline! 1.2477 0.03624 214 171 33 10
2134 This next one needs to be preformed with a certain amount of punch 1.2477 0.03501 214 169 37 8
2135 Can you please give me a hand? 1.2477 0.03563 214 170 35 9
2136 And now, I will take Beethoven to the 12th." 1.2476 0.03732 210 169 30 11
2137 To increase the degree of difficulty, I will put on a pair of swim fins. 1.2476 0.03732 210 169 30 11
2138 ...and this next piece is sure to be a knock out! 1.2476 0.03792 210 170 28 12
2139 I shall now play "Flight of the Sting Like A Bee." 1.2476 0.03670 210 168 32 10
2140 I'm afraid I've boxed myself into a corner with this concerto. 1.2476 0.03206 210 161 46 3
2141 I'd like to close this evening with 'Flight of the Bumblebee.' 1.2476 0.03843 206 167 27 12
2142 And now I shall pummel out a pleasing polonaise for your pleasure. 1.2476 0.03588 206 163 35 8
2143 Please hold your applause until you count to ten. 1.2476 0.03654 206 164 33 9
2144 And now, the theme from Rocky IV 1.2476 0.03588 206 163 35 8
2145 As an encore I'll now play the Notre Dame Fight Song. 1.2476 0.03781 206 166 29 11
2146 This one's from the boxed set. 1.2475 0.03832 202 163 28 11
2147 It's going to be a Wagner piece. 1.2475 0.03896 202 164 26 12
2148 The ivories tickle me. 1.2475 0.03832 202 163 28 11
2149 Now, Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 20 in B-flat major, TKO.548 1.2475 0.03634 202 160 34 8
2150 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Theme from Rocky VII 1.2475 0.03767 202 162 30 10
2151 This next piece is by Rocky-maninoff. 1.2475 0.03611 198 156 35 7
2152 The critics all say that anything I might be lacking in finesse, I more than make up for in punch. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2153 Raging Beethoven.” 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2154 And now, by your request, the Love Theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2155 Get ready for this hit! 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2156 This piece was written for no hands. 1.2475 0.03682 198 157 33 8
2157 My last recital ended in a TKO in the sixth round. 1.2475 0.03751 198 158 31 9
2158 When you don't have time to change between your part-time jobs. 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2159 He got hit pretty hard, i think he has a Percussion 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2160 What? You told me to pound it out. 1.2474 0.03731 194 154 32 8
2161 Next, my own composition: "The Ring." 1.2474 0.03872 194 156 28 10
2162 For my next piece, please enjoy 'Mama Said Knock You Out' in B-Flat. 1.2474 0.03782 190 151 31 8
2163 ...and now:Beethoven's Hammerklavier sonata. 1.2473 0.03812 182 144 31 7
2164 When I said I wanted to hit the ivories..." 1.2469 0.03329 243 193 40 10
2165 These are to prevent me from “tickling the ivories”.... 1.2468 0.03182 235 183 46 6
2166 I usually have a sheet music page turner. 1.2468 0.03496 231 185 35 11
2167 Etude" by Muhammad Ali.. 1.2466 0.03636 223 180 31 12
2168 And for you Brits, "A Ballad for Boxing Day." 1.2466 0.03636 223 180 31 12
2169 I will now play my tribute to Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer." It's a knockout! 1.2466 0.03580 223 179 33 11
2170 And the winner by judges decision after 8 rounds is... Steinway. 1.2466 0.03506 219 174 36 9
2171 Any Requests? Anything but "Flight of the Bumble Bee" 1.2465 0.03548 215 171 35 9
2172 The next is a cross between Ali and Amadeus! 1.2465 0.03548 215 171 35 9
2173 The Boxer Rebellion concerto 1.2465 0.03728 215 174 29 12
2174 My Carpal tunnel's flaring up again. 1.2465 0.03424 215 169 39 7
2175 Once you hear this next song composed by Cassius Clay you will know why he changed his name to Mohammed Ali 1.2465 0.03669 215 173 31 11
2176 Box Magnificat 1.2464 0.04008 211 175 20 16
2177 And now I will perform “The Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2464 0.03529 211 167 36 8
2178 My teacher says it will remind me to not hit the keys too hard. 1.2464 0.03655 211 169 32 10
2179 Ladies and gentlemen, let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2464 0.03465 211 166 38 7
2180 For my next piece, I will play 'Great Balls of Fire.' 1.2464 0.03263 211 163 44 4
2181 And now for a swinging little tune with a hook that'll knock you out. 1.2464 0.03638 207 165 33 9
2182 I will now play the Third Round of the Moonlight Sonata, Presto Agitato. 1.2464 0.03638 207 165 33 9
2183 This next piece was first performed in Paris in 1913. It was quite controversial for the time, and fights broke out among the audience. 1.2464 0.03439 207 162 39 6
2184 I never wanted piano lessons. 1.2464 0.03702 207 166 31 10
2185 This one I call "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of a bumblebee." 1.2463 0.03410 203 158 40 5
2186 I’m trying to stop biting my nails. 1.2463 0.03481 203 159 38 6
2187 This next sonata is a real knock out. 1.2463 0.03618 203 161 34 8
2188 My next piece is Ali in C minor 1.2463 0.03815 203 164 28 11
2189 Tickling the ivories really isn’t my style. 1.2462 0.03377 199 154 41 4
2190 I shall now demonstrate that my piano coach was right. 1.2462 0.03867 199 161 27 11
2191 This modern stuff is a real pain in the ass. 1.2462 0.03734 199 159 31 9
2192 Yeah buddy? Come down here, I'll give you discordant notes! 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2193 My next piece is dedicated to the immortal Muhammad Ali... 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2194 And now, with your gracious indulgence, I'd like to bang out a new composition." 1.2462 0.03569 195 153 36 6
2195 I asked for box seats. 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2196 And now for a nuanced little mashup I call 'Étude, Sonny Liszton?' 1.2462 0.03922 195 158 26 11
2197 And now I will float through Madame Butterfly and sting into Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2462 0.03642 195 154 34 7
2198 I offer Republican Chopsticks for our times. 1.2461 0.03978 191 155 25 11
2199 I'm just going to play a little rope-a-dope until I find middle C. 1.2461 0.03691 191 151 33 7
2200 I only sing 1.2461 0.03691 191 151 33 7
2201 Box Fugue in D minor 1.2459 0.03368 244 195 38 11
2202 I can't tickle the ivories but I can pound them" 1.2456 0.03412 228 181 38 9
2203 Now, " I would like to play the theme from "Rocky". 1.2456 0.03523 228 183 34 11
2204 I call it Concerto Marciano. 1.2455 0.03211 224 174 45 5
2205 Are you suggesting there is a problem with my technique? 1.2455 0.03492 220 175 36 9
2206 Oh my story’s seldom told 1.2455 0.03492 220 175 36 9
2207 I will now play Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer" 1.2455 0.03371 220 173 40 7
2208 For my next number, please prepare to have your socks knocked off 1.2455 0.03371 220 173 40 7
2209 For my encore, a knockturne by Sullivan... John L., 1.2455 0.03722 220 179 28 13
2210 And now, Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer." 1.2455 0.03309 220 172 42 6
2211 I'm doing a Victor Borge! 1.2454 0.03712 216 175 29 12
2212 Ladies and gentlemen, you'll be glad to know that I'm about to play John Cage's '4'33'. 1.2454 0.03770 216 176 27 13
2213 This rendition is going to be a knock out ! 1.2454 0.03534 216 172 35 9
2214 I regret auditioning for Rocky the Musical 1.2454 0.03534 216 172 35 9
2215 And now, all three rounds of Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ 1.2453 0.03514 212 168 36 8
2216 And now, by request, the theme from "Rocky". 1.2453 0.03760 212 172 28 12
2217 Now that I've answered my critics, I shall play music from 'Requiem for a Heavyweight' " 1.2453 0.03318 212 165 42 5
2218 And now, from Wagner's Ring Cycle.... 1.2453 0.03639 212 170 32 10
2219 I will now punch out the theme from Rocky. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2220 Okay, it doesn't work for Beethoven, but my Mahler's a knockout! 1.2452 0.03558 208 165 35 8
2221 Concerto no. 10! 9! 8!, 7!..... 1.2452 0.03748 208 168 29 11
2222 And now, from the Manassa Mahler, “The Heavyweight Requiem 1.2452 0.03492 208 164 37 7
2223 And now Rockymaninoff symphony #9 TKO. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2224 And now, a largo in fall flat. 1.2452 0.03622 208 166 33 9
2225 I said I could play Rachmaninov, NOT Rocky Marciano! 1.2451 0.03535 204 161 36 7
2226 Mind if I punch out a tune? 1.2451 0.03466 204 160 38 6
2227 Fortissimo Piano. 1.2450 0.03287 200 154 43 3
2228 Is this the "sting like a bee" part? 1.2450 0.03579 200 158 35 7
2229 Time to punch this tune up a little 1.2450 0.03649 200 159 33 8
2230 A new Sonata called 'Float like a Butterfly and sting like a Bee. 1.2449 0.03767 196 157 30 9
2231 And next, I'll be playing,"Fight of the Bumblebees." 1.2449 0.03697 196 156 32 8
2232 And now I will perform 'The Theme from Rocky.' 1.2448 0.03960 192 156 25 11
2233 I will now play "Hail To The Chief". 1.2448 0.04028 192 157 23 12
2234 Yes, I am a heavyweight musician. 1.2448 0.03444 192 149 39 4
2235 Welcome to my Nightmare Sonata! 1.2447 0.03215 237 186 44 7
2236 And now, “glovesticks”. 1.2447 0.03946 188 152 26 10
2237 Did I hear a request for the theme from Rocky? 1.2446 0.03305 233 184 41 8
2238 Now, a tribute to the Rocky movies. 1.2445 0.03454 229 183 36 10
2239 This next number is a new piece I wrote, Below the Belt in B-Flat. 1.2443 0.03536 221 177 34 10
2240 my plan is to pound these ivories into submission 1.2442 0.03333 217 170 41 6
2241 Rachmaninov wasn't challenging enough. 1.2442 0.03697 217 176 29 12
2242 And now, a piece for ill-tempered clavier by Box. 1.2442 0.03697 217 176 29 12
2243 And for my next piece, I’ll need the assistance of someone in the audience, preferably the abusive guy in the corner... 1.2442 0.03333 217 170 41 6
2244 Playing Stravinsky is always a battle, but this time I win! 1.2442 0.03193 258 205 43 10
2245 I am just a poor boy .... 1.2441 0.03436 213 168 38 7
2246 Tonight I'll be playing "Rumble in the Jungle." 1.2441 0.03371 213 167 40 6
2247 This one's from "Rocky: the Musical." 1.2441 0.03562 213 170 34 9
2248 Perhaps my tribute to Boxing Day was ill-informed. 1.2440 0.03477 209 165 37 7
2249 It's a clause in my insurance contract. 1.2440 0.03477 209 165 37 7
2250 It's called dueling piano. 1.2440 0.03410 209 164 39 6
2251 Rachmaninoff's Third is in for the fight of its life. 1.2439 0.03520 205 162 36 7
2252 ‘And now for a tribute to Mohammed Ali.” 1.2439 0.03310 205 159 42 4
2253 Look ma, no fingers. 1.2439 0.03451 205 161 38 6
2254 Remember students, always practice safe sax, and don't forget to put a glove on your pianist. 1.2439 0.03906 205 168 24 13
2255 You will each find a pair of ear plugs under your seat. 1.2438 0.03897 201 164 25 12
2256 This next piece is titled, "Would You Please Stop F**king Playing That, Timmy? 1.2438 0.03767 201 162 29 10
2257 And now my rendition of Jerry Lee Lewis and "Great Balls of Fire" 1.2438 0.03833 201 163 27 11
2258 what? you said we were doing rounds... 1.2438 0.03564 201 159 35 7
2259 Welcome to the atonal music festival! 1.2437 0.03750 197 158 30 9
2260 At your request, Rocky's Fourth! 1.2437 0.03750 197 158 30 9
2261 My next tune will be The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2437 0.03463 197 154 38 5
2262 For my next number, "Baby It's Cold Outside. 1.2435 0.04141 193 160 19 14
2263 For my next selection I shall perform for you Mozart's Rope-a-Dope Concerto in E minor. 1.2435 0.03802 193 155 29 9
2264 And now I'd like to pound out a little number from Mozart. 1.2435 0.03441 230 184 36 10
2265 The Boxer's Rag, by Slapsie Maxie Mendelssohn. 1.2434 0.03927 189 153 26 10
2266 It may be unconventional, but it is the first Mozart-meets-Muhammad-Ali performance I know of. 1.2434 0.03551 189 148 36 5
2267 The former champ came to understand his new pursuit required a different set of skills. 1.2434 0.03629 189 149 34 6
2268 I shall now perform Basie's Down For The Count. 1.2432 0.03220 222 173 44 5
2269 Yo, Elise! I did it! 1.2431 0.03319 218 171 41 6
2270 And here's my rendition of Boxing Matilda. 1.2431 0.03729 181 143 32 6
2271 For my last number, Mozart's Sonata in D TKO.576 1.2431 0.04045 181 147 24 10
2272 Someone found my privilege and ability offensive. 1.2429 0.03462 210 166 37 7
2273 It’s my brother’s idea. I love him. But don’t expect much. 1.2429 0.03592 210 168 33 9
2274 ...and next I will perform the theme from"Rocky" 1.2429 0.03528 210 167 35 8
2275 Let's see Mike Tyson do this! 1.2429 0.03396 210 165 39 6
2276 Any less abusive requests? 1.2429 0.03654 210 169 31 10
2277 Sorry for the delay, folks - my trainer is looking for my mouthguard. 1.2427 0.03637 206 165 32 9
2278 And now, Rocky's Symphony No. 5 in C minor. 1.2427 0.03367 206 161 40 5
2279 Just wait until I take the gloves off! 1.2427 0.03765 206 167 28 11
2280 Be-Bop 1.2427 0.03504 206 163 36 7
2281 I thought you requested a Box Trot! 1.2427 0.03571 206 164 34 8
2282 I've really boxed myself into this corner. 1.2427 0.03702 206 166 30 10
2283 Here’s a little number I made popular back in my club days 1.2427 0.03702 206 166 30 10
2284 I shall now play the Rach Four using only my nose and my elbows. 1.2426 0.03751 202 163 29 10
2285 Dat was "Ode to George Foreman", in E minor. 1.2426 0.03548 202 160 35 7
2286 Now I Will Play My Opus Trumpus. 1.2426 0.03684 202 162 31 9
2287 Yes, it's a fight song! 1.2426 0.03406 202 158 39 5
2288 Chopsticks? 1.2426 0.03751 202 163 29 10
2289 I would describe my relationship with Debussy as tumultuous. 1.2426 0.03617 202 161 33 8
2290 And now for some of my Boxing Day favorites! Let me punch out a few tunes for you. 1.2426 0.03617 202 161 33 8
2291 'Introducing Baroque-y Balboa' 1.2426 0.03335 235 187 39 9
2292 Wow! A knockout performance! 1.2424 0.03664 198 158 32 8
2293 It adds a little punch to my Bach.. 1.2424 0.03259 231 182 42 7
2294 And now, the theme for Rocky XVII 1.2424 0.03316 231 183 40 8
2295 I will now play selections frrom "The Ring Cycle ". 1.2423 0.03467 227 182 35 10
2296 I call this next piece 'Fight of the Jumbled Keys'. 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2297 DOWN goes Mahler...DOWN goes Mahler.... 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2298 And now, Chopin with the gloves off.... 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2299 Pianissimo enough for you now, Maestro? 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2300 I think this piece will really knock you out, folks." 1.2423 0.03713 194 155 31 8
2301 Lets just say "I AM a contender!" 1.2422 0.03331 223 176 40 7
2302 And now for my best combination. 1.2422 0.03270 223 175 42 6
2303 Oh. Bach? 1.2420 0.03430 219 174 37 8
2304 For my encore, I will play an original piece titled, "Rush Hour Traffic" 1.2420 0.03666 219 178 29 12
2305 Yo Adrian... this nex numbers fur you! 1.2420 0.03430 219 174 37 8
2306 And now, Interlude, by Rocky Maninoff. 1.2419 0.04038 186 152 23 11
2307 And for the tenth,and final,round,I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2419 0.03892 186 150 27 9
2308 This composition is called 'The Thrilla in Manila.' 1.2419 0.03713 215 175 28 12
2309 It's the only way I can make it through John Cage's 4'33" without playing a wrong note. 1.2419 0.03654 215 174 30 11
2310 I have chosen to play The Marquess of Queensberry's First Piano Sonata in A Minor. 1.2419 0.03654 215 174 30 11
2311 I call it "Flight of the Pugilist". 1.2417 0.03314 211 165 41 5
2312 I thought you said you wanted me to knock out a tune?... 1.2417 0.03576 211 169 33 9
2313 And now, Variations on Theme From Rocky. 1.2417 0.03576 211 169 33 9
2314 And now for your listening displeasure, I will pound the ivories. 1.2417 0.03639 211 170 31 10
2315 I will now knock out the theme from Rocky 1.2415 0.03489 207 164 36 7
2316 Now, I will wear my Bach-sing gloves. 1.2414 0.03862 203 166 25 12
2317 This next piece floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. 1.2412 0.03222 228 179 43 6
2318 I'll now play a little-known Wagner piece, "The Boxing Ring." 1.2412 0.03340 228 181 39 8
2319 I have a really great hook for this song. 1.2412 0.03282 228 180 41 7
2320 And now something a little more modern: 'The Boxer' by Paul Simon. 1.2412 0.03282 228 180 41 7
2321 And now, for your listening pleasure, I'd like to knock out this little number. 1.2412 0.03432 199 156 38 5
2322 It helps me keep a beat. 1.2412 0.03716 199 160 30 9
2323 For my first trick, I will be playing Chopsticks. 1.2412 0.03784 199 161 28 10
2324 Now here's the main theme from Rocky. 1.2412 0.03506 199 157 36 6
2325 And now, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s little known composition, “Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like The Flight of The Bumblebee”. 1.2412 0.03716 199 160 30 9
2326 Quite frankly, I’ve had quite enough of tinkling the keys 1.2411 0.03436 224 179 36 9
2327 Just so you know, I’m all thumbs. 1.2411 0.03551 224 181 32 11
2328 I've been fighting through this song for weeks. 1.2411 0.03131 224 174 46 4
2329 It's music boxing. 1.2410 0.03767 195 157 29 9
2330 Which would you prefer: Stravinsky's Pumchin' Ella Suite, or Mozart's Eine Kleine Knockout Music? 1.2410 0.03550 195 154 35 6
2331 I learned this next number from Joe Louis Armstrong. 1.2409 0.03594 220 178 31 11
2332 Flogging the ivories 1.2408 0.03819 191 154 28 9
2333 The real problem is my cauliflower ear. 1.2407 0.03518 216 173 34 9
2334 This next piece is called, "Good Enough for Government Work." 1.2407 0.03456 216 172 36 8
2335 And next a rumble in the ensemble. 1.2407 0.03330 216 170 40 6
2336 I dare anyone to say that I am all thumbs. 1.2406 0.03798 187 150 29 8
2337 For the person who keeps requesting Paul Simon’s “The Boxer”... 1.2406 0.03623 212 171 31 10
2338 Pyotr Pavlosky, Pugilist Pianist 1.2406 0.03433 212 168 37 7
2339 I managed to learn to text with these, now onto playing the piano! 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2340 I wear them because these ivories are so ticklish. 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2341 And now, a preview of the theme from Rocky VIII . . . 1.2406 0.03623 212 171 31 10
2342 I call this next number "Fight of the Bumblebee." 1.2406 0.03498 212 169 35 8
2343 I just won the first part of the competition but this part is really going to be hard. 1.2406 0.03301 212 166 41 5
2344 And now for my rather unique rendition of Beethoven's 5th 1.2405 0.03256 237 188 41 8
2345 I call this piece,"Boxer's Rebellion. 1.2404 0.03693 183 145 32 6
2346 My sonatas are impetuous, my concertos are impregnable, and my etudes are just ferocious. 1.2404 0.03773 183 146 30 7
2347 And now, Shostakovich’s Piano Concerto No.2, as if played by your two year old niece. 1.2404 0.03693 183 145 32 6
2348 1-2-3-Hit It! 1.2404 0.03606 208 167 32 9
2349 Tonight I'll be knocking out the tunes for you. 1.2403 0.03509 233 189 32 12
2350 Fuego means fight doesn't it? 1.2402 0.03448 204 161 37 6
2351 And for my next knockout performance... 1.2402 0.03845 204 167 25 12
2352 ...and now, I will punch it up a bit with the Anvil Chorus. 1.2402 0.03448 204 161 37 6
2353 And now I’d like to play a medley of my greatest hits. 1.2402 0.03652 204 164 31 9
2354 Can I skip the black keys? 1.2402 0.03384 229 183 37 9
2355 My next piece really packs a punch. 1.2400 0.03267 200 155 42 3
2356 Begging your indulgence, my New Year's resolution is to stop biting my nails. 1.2400 0.03561 200 159 34 7
2357 I shall now float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. 1.2400 0.03767 200 162 28 10
2358 I will now play the theme song from "Requiem for a Heavy Weight. 1.2400 0.03305 225 178 40 7
2359 Now a little something called "Float like a Butterfly sting like a Bee" 1.2398 0.03403 221 176 37 8
2360 After 32 variations, I'll be going 12 rounds. 1.2398 0.03679 196 157 31 8
2361 He does a great scherzando but he needs a page turner 1.2398 0.03819 196 159 27 10
2362 This piece is in "Stallone staccato". 1.2398 0.03459 196 154 37 5
2363 This grand is fighting me all the way !!! 1.2396 0.03504 217 174 34 9
2364 Tonight I’m going to play The Fight of the Bumblebee. 1.2396 0.03316 217 171 40 6
2365 I can knock out the Minute Waltz in 45 seconds. 1.2396 0.03442 217 173 36 8
2366 And now, U of M's fight song 1.2396 0.03579 192 152 34 6
2367 Whaddya mean it hasn’t been tuned? 1.2394 0.03729 213 174 27 12
2368 They laughed when I say down to play. They're not laughing now. 1.2394 0.03483 213 170 35 8
2369 I shall now play the Concerto No. 2, Opus 18 by Rockymaninoff. 1.2394 0.03354 213 168 39 6
2370 And now, the theme from Rocky, with a salute to Victor Borge. 1.2394 0.03669 213 173 29 11
2371 Now I will perform Rocky Maninoff's Conflicto #13 in Duh-Minor. 1.2394 0.03608 213 172 31 10
2372 This version of " Flight of the bumble bee" was inspired by the late Cassius Clay. 1.2394 0.03669 213 173 29 11
2373 Rachmaninov: Piano Concerto No.2 as adapted by Rocky Marciano 1.2391 0.03755 184 147 30 7
2374 For my next request ... The Boxer by Paul Simon 1.2391 0.03833 184 148 28 8
2375 I will perform ‘Variations on a theme by Liston’ composed by Ali. 1.2390 0.03701 205 166 29 10
2376 I can’t eat with chopsticks either. 1.2390 0.03570 205 164 33 8
2377 I'd rather punch a clock. 1.2390 0.03636 205 165 31 9
2378 I'm just not that in to melodies 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2379 J.S. Box prelude and fugue in b minor. 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2380 Glenn Gould playing the Palooka Variations. 1.2390 0.03701 205 166 29 10
2381 Knockout in the fifth movement. 1.2390 0.03765 205 167 27 11
2382 Tonight I will perform "Fight of the bumblebees" 1.2390 0.03502 205 163 35 7
2383 And now, Chopin's Knockout-turne in B minor. 1.2389 0.03351 226 180 38 8
2384 My next song is about my experience with my stockbroker and his attorney. 1.2388 0.03615 201 161 32 8
2385 Don't fight me on this one! 1.2388 0.03683 201 162 30 9
2386 Why is this piano out of tune? 1.2388 0.03683 201 162 30 9
2387 And now my rematch with Rachmaninov. 1.2388 0.03546 201 160 34 7
2388 In this Christmas season I'd like to play a little Boxing Day number. 1.2387 0.03389 222 177 37 8
2389 I can’t play today, I am feeling a little punchy 1.2386 0.04028 176 143 24 9
2390 The next composition is John Cage's "Music for Muhammad Ali". 1.2386 0.03732 197 159 29 9
2391 ...And now the theme from Raging Bull 1.2385 0.03366 218 173 38 7
2392 Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, Round 3. 1.2385 0.03489 218 175 34 9
2393 And, when the burgers are done , this George Foreman grill turns into a grand piano ." 1.2385 0.03339 239 192 37 10
2394 And now I will play Chopin’s Preludes all at once! 1.2383 0.03486 193 152 36 5
2395 The next piece is the Knockout Sonata in B-flat major. 1.2383 0.03531 214 172 33 9
2396 This is from my latest box set. 1.2383 0.03405 214 170 37 7
2397 My next piece is by Schoenberg. 1.2383 0.03593 214 173 31 10
2398 Concerto for Raging Bull in E Minor 1.2383 0.03593 214 173 31 10
2399 Well Jim, I agree Smith is faster, but he will be conceding over 700 pounds to Steinway. 1.2383 0.03469 214 171 35 8
2400 The melody I'm about to play will knock you out! 1.2383 0.03375 235 189 36 10
2401 Looks like we have a music critic in the audience! 1.2381 0.03575 210 169 32 9
2402 I’m just going to pound this one out. 1.2381 0.03638 210 170 30 10
2403 This is a selection from Rockmyblokoff’s Opus 3, B-flat major, better known as The Pugilist Symphony. 1.2381 0.03836 189 153 27 9
2404 Welcome to the premiere performance of the Boxing Ring Cycle." 1.2381 0.03511 210 168 34 8
2405 Oh, you meant BACH's Goldberg Variations? 1.2381 0.03762 189 152 29 8
2406 And now, a little thing called "One Note Samba." 1.2381 0.03468 231 187 33 11
2407 I can now play five songs at once. 1.2381 0.03468 231 187 33 11
2408 Now for a demonstration of late 20th century classical piano compositions. 1.2381 0.03762 189 152 29 8
2409 And now I'd like to pound out a little something for you." 1.2381 0.03358 231 185 37 9
2410 And we will finish off the evening with Rimsky-Korsakov’s “”Fight of the Bumblebee.” 1.2379 0.03618 227 186 28 13
2411 This one is called "The Fight of The Bumble Bee." 1.2379 0.03487 206 164 35 7
2412 And now for a piece by a exciting new young composer. 1.2379 0.03487 206 164 35 7
2413 My playing can float like Madame Butterfly and sting like the Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2379 0.03685 206 167 29 10
2414 And now, "Variation on 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'" by Muhammad Ali 1.2377 0.03550 223 181 31 11
2415 This is the LAST time I do request. 1.2377 0.03375 223 178 37 8
2416 For my next song, I will be playing the theme from Rocky I. 1.2377 0.03435 223 179 35 9
2417 This isn't quite what I thought they meant by "dueling pianos". 1.2377 0.03435 223 179 35 9
2418 Let me bang out some notes. 1.2377 0.03375 223 178 37 8
2419 When we get to the Chopin, I'll take the gloves off. 1.2376 0.03460 202 160 36 6
2420 I'd like to play a Paul Simon tune called "the Boxer". 1.2376 0.03599 202 162 32 8
2421 The Pizzicato Polka, performed pugilistically. 1.2376 0.03733 202 164 28 10
2422 And now, the viral "Piano Cat" arranged for a human 1.2376 0.03799 202 165 26 11
2423 It is a sonata for Boxing Day, in B flat. 1.2376 0.03388 202 159 38 5
2424 I'll now play the overture from 'Rocky' in B flat on your back. 1.2376 0.03599 202 162 32 8
2425 The glissandos are killers. 1.2376 0.03667 202 163 30 9
2426 Oh! Bach? Yes, I suppose that does make more sense. 1.2374 0.03289 219 173 40 6
2427 This one's called, "Ode to Joe" 1.2374 0.03352 219 174 38 7
2428 I will now play Piano Concerto round 12. 1.2374 0.03575 198 158 33 7
2429 Real men don't tickle the ivories. 1.2374 0.03784 198 161 27 10
2430 Wait, so you meant Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer? 1.2374 0.03502 198 157 35 6
2431 Say again, Bach or box? 1.2374 0.03646 198 159 31 8
2432 Yes, I can do "Eye of the Tiger" 1.2373 0.03309 236 189 38 9
2433 I was advised to attack Schumann’s Toccata in C Major Op. 7! 1.2372 0.03326 215 170 39 6
2434 This is my warm-up number. 1.2372 0.03326 215 170 39 6
2435 And now a tribute to Sylvester Stallone. 1.2372 0.03517 215 173 33 9
2436 And now for the main event... 1.2371 0.03173 232 183 43 6
2437 I'll punch out one more before the break. 1.2370 0.03431 211 168 36 7
2438 This next piece is for AAAAADRIANNNNN. 1.2368 0.03439 228 184 34 10
2439 Refunds will be available in the lobby. 1.2368 0.03382 228 183 36 9
2440 Sorry, I only take requests from the box seats. 1.2368 0.03382 228 183 36 9
2441 Who says I'm not playing it myself? 1.2368 0.04031 190 157 21 12
2442 Just sayin' The Boxer would have peaked higher than seven on Billboard's Hot 100 if Simon and Garfunkel had thought of this. 1.2368 0.03206 228 180 42 6
2443 Float like Madama Butterfly, Sting like an in-flight bumblebee, I Am The Greatest, Since Tchaikovsky 1.2368 0.03669 190 152 31 7
2444 Da ,da, da, daaa! 1.2368 0.03744 190 153 29 8
2445 And now, Rocky-maninoff! 1.2367 0.03604 207 167 31 9
2446 And now for the ever-popular theme from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ... 1.2367 0.03472 207 165 35 7
2447 and now for some duke ellington! 1.2367 0.03669 207 168 29 10
2448 It’s a bit gimmicky but I have to pay the rent. 1.2367 0.03404 207 164 37 6
2449 I'm gonna play the Rocky theme. 1.2366 0.03362 224 179 37 8
2450 At least wait for the hook. 1.2366 0.03305 186 144 40 2
2451 I will now play the theme song from "Rocky" . 1.2366 0.03477 186 146 36 4
2452 I will now punch out this little tune.. 1.2366 0.03559 186 147 34 5
2453 My next selection has a familiar ring to it. 1.2365 0.03373 203 160 38 5
2454 You see, the score calls for fortississississimo. 1.2365 0.03444 203 161 36 6
2455 Now I will play something a little softer. 1.2365 0.03515 203 162 34 7
2456 And now my original theme for Rocky. 1.2364 0.03636 220 180 28 12
2457 This next piece needs a little punching up. 1.2364 0.03520 220 178 32 10
2458 Before I begin, if you are wondering why the boxing gloves, you will find out first if you take a call before this concert ends. 1.2363 0.03771 182 146 29 7
2459 Apologies to those who thought they were going to hear Bach. 1.2362 0.03559 199 159 33 7
2460 Concerto in Gloves hits all the right notes and most of the wrong ones, too. 1.2362 0.03699 199 161 29 9
2461 Otherwise I’d just be tickling the ivories 1.2362 0.03629 199 160 31 8
2462 Okay. Let's do this one in the keys of ABC and D. 1.2362 0.03487 199 158 35 6
2463 And now a piece from my hit record. 1.2362 0.03487 199 158 35 6
2464 And now, as requested, the theme from Rocky... 1.2361 0.03440 216 173 35 8
2465 I've been fighting the urge to play this tune all night long. 1.2361 0.03313 216 171 39 6
2466 First, Sting like a Bee followed by Float like a Butterfly 1.2361 0.03563 216 175 31 10
2467 A rendition of Balboa’s 5th 1.2361 0.03313 216 171 39 6
2468 It was The Boxer Rebellion in C Sharp Minor. 1.2361 0.03502 216 174 33 9
2469 Did you say forte or fortissimo? 1.2360 0.03907 178 144 26 8
2470 My next number will be "Fight of the Bumble Bee". 1.2359 0.03748 195 158 28 9
2471 And now I will close with the Boxer's Lullaby." 1.2359 0.03377 195 153 38 4
2472 This piece is titled, "Eye of the Tiger in B, C, D, G, and F." 1.2359 0.03677 195 157 30 8
2473 And now, the Lumbering Death Throes of the Bumble Bee 1.2359 0.03677 195 157 30 8
2474 How about a punchy tune? 1.2359 0.03377 195 153 38 4
2475 And now, as counterpoint to Beethoven's "Moonlight", here's a sonata with some punch. 1.2358 0.03481 212 170 34 8
2476 Give me a Ten Count! 1.2358 0.03416 212 169 36 7
2477 This is the only way to fight through Bach! 1.2356 0.03881 174 140 27 7
2478 And now the classic "88 keys in .8 seconds". 1.2356 0.03872 191 156 25 10
2479 This piece is called 'Float Like a Butterfly, Flight of the Bumblebee' 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2480 It may sound a little rough, but I'd like to play something new for you tonight. 1.2356 0.03576 191 152 33 6
2481 Before I start, are there any complaints about the program? 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2482 My first number will be the theme from 'Rocky'. 1.2356 0.03800 191 155 27 9
2483 And In This Corner..."The Well Tempered Clavier" by J.S. Bach 1.2356 0.03652 191 153 31 7
2484 And now for Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2356 0.03589 208 168 31 9
2485 This song's going to be a knock out! 1.2356 0.03716 208 170 27 11
2486 I’d think twice about criticizing my playing” 1.2356 0.03457 208 166 35 7
2487 And for my next selection, I would like to play Flight of the Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bumblebee. 1.2356 0.03633 225 185 27 13
2488 Tonight, it's just me versus Mozart. 1.2353 0.03358 204 161 38 5
2489 My next selection is Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata in three rounds. 1.2353 0.03286 204 160 40 4
2490 I hope you enjoy tonight's concert. It is a real knockout 1.2353 0.03429 204 162 36 6
2491 A few more sonatas and I will have Beethoven on the ropes. 1.2353 0.03387 221 177 36 8
2492 Without these I’m all thumbs! 1.2353 0.03506 221 179 32 10
2493 And now, my introduction to contemporary music, 101 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2494 This will sound a little more like a concerto grosso. 1.2353 0.03447 221 178 34 9
2495 Contrapunto on a Divorce 1.2353 0.03542 187 148 34 5
2496 Oops. Wrong venue, wrong night. 1.2353 0.03429 204 162 36 6
2497 Next I will punch out an original tune 1.2353 0.03499 204 163 34 7
2498 Now for Mozart's Piano Sonata in Sting Like a Bee-Major. 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2499 When Liberace met John Cage. 1.2353 0.03635 204 165 30 9
2500 And now the Symphonic Dances by Rockymaninoff 1.2353 0.03701 187 150 30 7
2501 And now, my new arrangement of “Baby It’s Cold Outside “ 1.2350 0.03264 234 187 39 8
2502 Good evening. Let us prepare ourselves to rumble. 1.2350 0.03428 234 190 33 11
2503 For my encore, a little piece from the Pugilistic period. 1.2350 0.03264 234 187 39 8
2504 I think you'll all recognize this next little number 1.2350 0.03363 217 173 37 7
2505 Are you ready to ruuuuumble?!!!!! 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2506 When do I take the fall? After the first glissando? 1.2350 0.03398 200 158 37 5
2507 No,I said I was going to play the “flight” of the bumblebee ! 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2508 pianissimo 1.2350 0.03543 200 160 33 7
2509 They said this piece was a sure knock-out 1.2350 0.03682 200 162 29 9
2510 I call this “Float like a butterfly, flight of the bumblebee.” 1.2350 0.03682 200 162 29 9
2511 And now in honor of Boxing Day... 1.2348 0.03241 230 183 40 7
2512 Next my own composition,"Mitten on the Keys". 1.2348 0.03628 230 190 26 14
2513 And now, AADRIAANNN!..in C minor. 1.2347 0.03592 213 173 30 10
2514 And now something with a bit more punch, Rocky's theme. 1.2347 0.03336 213 169 38 6
2515 „And now something little more progressive!“ 1.2347 0.03336 213 169 38 6
2516 This evening I will be performing The Hagler-Hearns Concerto No. 2 in Three Rounds. 1.2347 0.03588 196 157 32 7
2517 For my first piece, chopsticks. 1.2347 0.03660 196 158 30 8
2518 And now my rendition of the ham-fisted symphony as inspired by Donald Trump 1.2347 0.03731 196 159 28 9
2519 Don't feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Bruiser; he's boxing with white cotton gloves. 1.2345 0.03394 226 182 35 9
2520 My next piece will be "Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee," 1.2344 0.03508 209 168 33 8
2521 Vote for me to "Make Music Great Again". 1.2344 0.03573 209 169 31 9
2522 Who tuned this damn thing anyway? 1.2344 0.03573 209 169 31 9
2523 I hate encores. 1.2344 0.03637 209 170 29 10
2524 I'm putting a new spin on a John Cage classic 1.2344 0.03375 209 166 37 6
2525 ...and finally, by Johann Sebastian Box... 1.2344 0.03442 209 167 35 7
2526 And now for a short Roundo by Vladimir Fisticuffski. 1.2344 0.03635 192 154 31 7
2527 And now, an evening of glissandos. 1.2344 0.03853 192 157 25 10
2528 Chopsticks, please.... 1.2342 0.03663 222 183 26 13
2529 Next up, the Theme from Rocky. 1.2341 0.03484 205 164 34 7
2530 I MUST BE DREAMING 1.2341 0.03484 205 164 34 7
2531 I now know what they mean when They say; my written answers to Mueller’s questions were akin to that of a child playing the piano wearing boxing gloves. 1.2341 0.03415 205 163 36 6
2532 Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. 1.2341 0.03552 205 165 32 8
2533 You ain't heard nothin yet 1.2340 0.03760 188 152 28 8
2534 My playing's been a bit Rocky of late... 1.2339 0.03473 218 176 33 9
2535 The optional ear plugs are under your seat. 1.2339 0.03412 218 175 35 8
2536 ''No, there isn't intermission.'' 1.2339 0.03709 218 180 25 13
2537 Now, for something softer. 1.2338 0.03527 201 161 33 7
2538 For my encore, I shall attempt to destroy all the BLACK keys! 1.2338 0.03733 201 164 27 10
2539 This next piece is called "Two gloves on eighty-eight keys". 1.2337 0.03654 184 147 31 6
2540 Turns out I’m my own worst enemy. 1.2336 0.03577 214 174 30 10
2541 Now I'd like to punch out a little number for you. 1.2336 0.03452 214 172 34 8
2542 Now one by one of my favorite composers, Sonny Liston. 1.2336 0.03188 214 168 42 4
2543 This next song was written by Paul Simon. 1.2336 0.03452 214 172 34 8
2544 Degree of difficulty 9.7 1.2336 0.03322 214 170 38 6
2545 Let me just punch this number out. 1.2335 0.03783 197 161 26 10
2546 Yo, Tchaikovsky! 1.2335 0.03644 197 159 30 8
2547 My next piece is called "Requiem for a Boxer." 1.2335 0.03438 227 184 33 10
2548 In my next lesson video I will demonstrate more secrets of my patented technique for avoiding repetitive injury, carpal tunnel syndrome, and tendonitis. 1.2333 0.03868 180 146 26 8
2549 Now, the Beethoven Piano Sonata #8 ‘Pathetique’ as interpreted by Muhammad Ali. 1.2333 0.03428 210 168 35 7
2550 Good evening, Palookaville. Before I begin the Mussorgsky, it is imperative you understand that I coulda been a contender. 1.2333 0.03361 210 167 37 6
2551 This next piece requires a soft touch 1.2333 0.03494 210 169 33 8
2552 Believe me, it helps with the fortissimo, but not with the piano. 1.2333 0.03428 210 168 35 7
2553 To begin,I'd like to punch out a concerto by Bach. 1.2332 0.03478 223 181 32 10
2554 I am qualified to be the president's greatest Chief of Staff ever! I can do anything.. . . anything. 1.2332 0.03478 223 181 32 10
2555 Float like a butterfly, play like a ham. 1.2332 0.03543 193 154 33 6
2556 I will now perform Box Prelude in C Major 1.2332 0.03764 193 157 27 9
2557 I have sensitive hands 1.2330 0.03536 206 166 32 8
2558 I will now be playing the theme to ‘Rocky’. 1.2330 0.03536 206 166 32 8
2559 This next piece is called “STELLA!!!!!!!” in D minor. 1.2330 0.03400 206 164 36 6
2560 They work better on the kettle drums 1.2330 0.03469 206 165 34 7
2561 And now my signature THREE SECOND WALTZ. 1.2330 0.03603 206 167 30 9
2562 I must apologize for the typo in the program. My name is Bang Bang, not Lang Lang. 1.2329 0.03519 219 178 31 10
2563 At this point I can only play the Rocky theme. 1.2329 0.03336 219 175 37 7
2564 For my next number, the theme from "Rocky II." 1.2329 0.03578 219 179 29 11
2565 My next piece is an original composition entitled "Elephant on the Keys" 1.2329 0.03272 219 174 39 6
2566 Lie-la-lie... lie-la-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie... 1.2328 0.04032 189 157 20 12
2567 Please join me for punch after the concert. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2568 This last movement is quite the knock-out. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2569 I'm taking a dive in the 9th symphony. 1.2328 0.03890 189 155 24 10
2570 It's my newest composition. I call it "Float Like a Butterfly". 1.2328 0.03817 189 154 26 9
2571 This is Chopin’s Knockout in E minor. 1.2328 0.03666 189 152 30 7
2572 This one's simple but it has a good hook. 1.2328 0.03890 189 155 24 10
2573 I can easily cover 2 octaves this way. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2574 This next piece is a bit John-Cage-meets-Muhammad-Ali. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2575 And now, for my Jerry Lee Lewis segment. 1.2327 0.03581 202 163 31 8
2576 I call it the “Butterfly Sonata”, in the key of Sting-Like-a-B. 1.2327 0.03649 202 164 29 9
2577 I've had a difficult time choosing a profession. 1.2327 0.03511 202 162 33 7
2578 Did someone move my spit bucket? 1.2326 0.03309 215 171 38 6
2579 This next piece is a bit more raucous. 1.2326 0.03309 215 171 38 6
2580 My next number is a real knockout, in three rounds. 1.2325 0.03535 228 187 29 12
2581 Ladies and Gentlemen... Let's get ready to treble. 1.2324 0.03207 185 143 41 1
2582 I will now play Boxmaninoff 1.2324 0.03403 241 197 32 12
2583 Oh no, they are expecting me to take a bow now and I'm only wearing boxer shorts. 1.2323 0.03627 198 160 30 8
2584 My next number will be 'Kitten On the Keys.' 1.2323 0.03766 198 162 26 10
2585 And now for "Float like a butterfly, sting like the flight of the bumble bee." 1.2323 0.03556 198 159 32 7
2586 If you please, let us now prepare ourselves to Rumble. 1.2322 0.03543 211 171 31 9
2587 And I thought tying my bow tie was hard! 1.2322 0.03278 211 167 39 5
2588 I tried facing the music but got hit with a one two. 1.2322 0.03668 211 173 27 11
2589 Get ready for something punchy. 1.2321 0.03493 237 195 29 13
2590 ......and in this corner weighing in at 158 pounds in the dark tuxedo, fromVienna, Austria ..... 1.2321 0.03389 237 193 33 11
2591 Fortissimo! 1.2320 0.03849 181 147 26 8
2592 Below the belt? I'm not even using the pedals. 1.2320 0.03675 194 157 29 8
2593 Adrian! 1.2319 0.03587 207 168 30 9
2594 And now, the Mohammad Ali Sonata in G minor. 1.2319 0.03385 207 165 36 6
2595 I float like Chopin and sting like Mozart 1.2318 0.03563 220 180 29 11
2596 And now, one of my own compositions! 1.2318 0.03445 220 178 33 9
2597 And now, to reprise Victor Borge's Musical Punctuation... 1.2318 0.03062 220 172 45 3
2598 I want to get the hell home so I'm just going to knock this piece out quickly. 1.2318 0.03322 220 176 37 7
2599 Trump being an ineffective president produces a most disharmonious effect, the same as playing a piano with boxing gloves on. 1.2318 0.03563 220 180 29 11
2600 I call this one "Sting like a Bee". 1.2318 0.03261 233 187 38 8
2601 My dermatologist says I need to stop scratching my eczema. 1.2318 0.03427 233 190 32 11
2602 And for my final work I give you Box Toccata and Fugue. 1.2316 0.03905 177 144 25 8
2603 This song promises to be a knock out! 1.2316 0.03650 177 141 31 5
2604 While I can't put my finger on it, my performances have somehow been a little Rocky lately. 1.2316 0.03572 190 152 32 6
2605 And now the concerto from 'Raging Bull' 1.2316 0.03412 190 150 36 4
2606 And now for a little chin music. 1.2316 0.03572 190 152 32 6
2607 And now I shall play a medley of pet-performed pieces from the Internet. 1.2315 0.03765 203 167 25 11
2608 And now, the very challenging LaMotta Sonata in F minor 1.2315 0.03205 203 159 41 3
2609 For my encore, I will play the 1812 Overture 1.2315 0.03354 203 161 37 5
2610 For round 1 I will be performing Fight of the Bumble Bee 1.2315 0.03547 216 176 30 10
2611 And now for my Post-Modern interpretation of Philip Glass 1.2315 0.03423 216 174 34 8
2612 And finally, Marciano’s Scherzo per Due Pugni 1.2312 0.03698 186 150 29 7
2613 John Cage is a dead man. 1.2312 0.04143 186 156 17 13
2614 Maestro - sote voce please. 1.2312 0.03393 199 158 36 5
2615 Tickling time's over. 1.2311 0.03528 212 172 31 9
2616 And now, Sonata No. 6, by Rockymaninoff 1.2311 0.03464 212 171 33 8
2617 Hitting the right notes. 1.2311 0.03332 212 169 37 6
2618 And now for Box' Concerto in D minor. 1.2311 0.03215 238 191 39 8
2619 Bring it on, Chopin. I'm ready. 1.2308 0.03370 221 178 35 8
2620 And now, from Rocky IV... 1.2308 0.03182 221 175 41 5
2621 It was in tune when I bought it. 1.2308 0.03117 221 174 43 4
2622 As a composer, I have become fascinated with tone clusters. 1.2308 0.03356 195 154 37 4
2623 In this composition I am honoring the heavy-handed approach of two masters - Wilhelm Richard Wagner and Mohammed Ali. 1.2308 0.03370 221 178 35 8
2624 I’m trying to beat out a tune. 1.2308 0.03439 208 167 34 7
2625 The following composition, titled 'Mother-in-law,' has a very striking, punchy tone. 1.2308 0.03506 208 168 32 8
2626 Tonight's performance will be included as part of my holiday box set. 1.2308 0.03585 195 157 31 7
2627 Now for your enjoyment, "Take that, Steinway!" 1.2308 0.03549 221 181 29 11
2628 My repertory is limited...I can only play rounds 1.2308 0.03572 208 169 30 9
2629 I started wearing them to stop sucking my thumb. Turned out I'm pretty darn good." 1.2308 0.03439 208 167 34 7
2630 And now for a lights out encore! 1.2308 0.03506 208 168 32 8
2631 I’ve been informed that this is a piano. Thank you. 1.2308 0.03636 208 170 28 10
2632 And now, Tyson's Sonata in B Minor. 1.2308 0.03658 195 158 29 8
2633 Progressing from the precision of atonal construction.... 1.2308 0.03549 221 181 29 11
2634 Float like a butterfly, play in the key of B.” 1.2304 0.03409 217 175 34 8
2635 Next, I would like to play my rendition of "Slaughter on Tenth Avenue". 1.2304 0.03471 217 176 32 9
2636 Chopsticks -- that's it. You were expecting maybe Mozart? 1.2304 0.03592 217 178 28 11
2637 You cannot force an individual to succeed in something when their heart is desiring another. 1.2304 0.03617 204 166 29 9
2638 And now my latest rendition of “Baby it’s cold outside.” 1.2304 0.03617 204 166 29 9
2639 I'm pounding the keyboard, like you asked. 1.2304 0.03481 204 164 33 7
2640 So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. 1.2304 0.03339 204 162 37 5
2641 Man vs. Piano: "Modernism? I'll show you Modernism!" 1.2304 0.03780 191 156 26 9
2642 And now my rendering of a little ditty I wrote, ‘Thrilla in Manila’. 1.2304 0.03632 191 154 30 7
2643 For this next piece, use of your mobile phones is encouraged. 1.2304 0.03707 191 155 28 8
2644 Good evening. I'm Rocky Marcipiano. 1.2304 0.03780 191 156 26 9
2645 This one is called "Saved by the Bell" 1.2301 0.03260 226 181 38 7
2646 This is it. Time to take the kid-gloves off. 1.2301 0.03378 226 183 34 9
2647 And now for my "Boxer Rebelion Overture #1 1.2301 0.03378 226 183 34 9
2648 Not to worry there is only one large ebony and one large ivory key 1.2300 0.03513 213 173 31 9
2649 For my next selection, Eye of the Tiger." 1.2300 0.03318 213 170 37 6
2650 Now for something a bit more heavyweight 1.2300 0.03112 213 167 43 3
2651 Manilla Thrilla" in B flat 1.2300 0.03513 213 173 31 9
2652 I'm going to punch up this next number a bit. 1.2300 0.03449 213 172 33 8
2653 And for our finale, the Theme from Rocky in D minor 1.2300 0.03664 200 163 28 9
2654 I'll be playing "Mitten on the Keys" 1.2299 0.03521 187 149 33 5
2655 FOR HIT SONGS ONLY 1.2299 0.03601 187 150 31 6
2656 And now Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. 1.2299 0.03438 187 148 35 4
2657 eat your heart out, Jerry Lee Lewis 1.2299 0.03858 174 141 26 7
2658 And now an obscure piece by Rocky Mannicoff... 1.2298 0.03230 248 201 37 10
2659 Would you mind holding your coughing until after the first round? 1.2298 0.03236 235 189 38 8
2660 I’d like to dedicate this next number to the inspirational Muhammad Ali. 1.2297 0.03296 222 178 37 7
2661 Tonight I will be playing Box' concerto. I may B Flat 1.2297 0.03648 222 184 25 13
2662 …and now, I’d like to perform Sugar Ray’s Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Minor. 1.2297 0.03357 222 179 35 8
2663 For my encore, Chopin’s lesser-known ‘Mitten Waltz’... 1.2297 0.03417 222 180 33 9
2664 Piano buffo? 1.2297 0.03534 222 182 29 11
2665 This fugue is a knockout. 1.2297 0.03417 222 180 33 9
2666 This one was my first big HIT! 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2667 How thoughtful, she gave me mittens to play "Baby it's Cold Outside." 1.2297 0.03491 209 169 32 8
2668 How about a little Duke Ellington? 1.2297 0.03424 209 168 34 7
2669 I've never been much of a tickler. 1.2297 0.03683 209 172 26 11
2670 Next I will play a piece from LL Cool J: "Mama Said Knock You Out" in F#m 1.2297 0.03287 209 166 38 5
2671 Are you ready to crescendo? 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2672 I will now improvise in the French manner. 1.2297 0.03556 209 170 30 9
2673 And now, "Fight of the Bumble, Sing Like a Bee". 1.2296 0.03918 196 163 21 12
2674 Who forgot to tune this piano? 1.2296 0.03568 196 158 31 7
2675 This is an atonal rendition 1.2296 0.03568 196 158 31 7
2676 And now, the theme from the Boxer Rebellion 1.2296 0.03641 196 159 29 8
2677 Yes, of course I play by ear 1.2295 0.03811 183 149 26 8
2678 Float like a butterfly, pound on the keys. 1.2295 0.03889 183 150 24 9
2679 And now, The Ring Cycle for Dummies, in twelve rounds. 1.2294 0.03271 231 186 37 8
2680 I went to a prizefight and a sonata broke out. 1.2294 0.03457 218 177 32 9
2681 You say the Rach 3 is difficult? I’ll show you difficult. 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2682 And now for something pugilistic, in A minor. 1.2293 0.03396 205 164 35 6
2683 For my last number, Floats Like a Butterfly, Stings Like a Bee 1.2293 0.03465 205 165 33 7
2684 I hope you enjoy this punchy little number. 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2685 This part of the song requires you to punch things up. 1.2293 0.03601 205 167 29 9
2686 But I have bone spurs in my hands! 1.2293 0.03534 205 166 31 8
2687 And now, Duke's Waltz, in D minor, A flat, and C. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2688 I'd like to thank the Mike Tyson Foundation for commissioning the next piece. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2689 I really hate this song. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2690 In honor of Boxing Day . . . 1.2292 0.03615 192 155 30 7
2691 And now, Box Prelude and Fugue in C Major. 1.2292 0.03615 192 155 30 7
2692 For the next prelude, the sheet music's dynamic said combattivissimo. 1.2292 0.03689 192 156 28 8
2693 Need a fellow to punch out a party tune? I'm your man." 1.2291 0.03306 227 183 36 8
2694 Tonight we will be beating out Beethoven's 5th. 1.2290 0.03370 214 172 35 7
2695 The doctors said it couldn't be done. 1.2290 0.03435 214 173 33 8
2696 Ladies and gentlemen, the kangaroo is off for the night. 1.2290 0.03498 214 174 31 9
2697 I glove a piano 1.2290 0.03435 214 173 33 8
2698 ...and this will be a real punchy number. 1.2290 0.03238 214 170 39 5
2699 My next composition is impressionistic with a touch of violence. 1.2289 0.03715 201 165 26 10
2700 Now a little known piece from Boxtehude 1.2289 0.03715 201 165 26 10
2701 Ladies and Gentlemen, Wagner's 'Ring Cycle.' 1.2289 0.03508 201 162 32 7
2702 This next one is Beethoven's 9th Symphony - the Rocky Balboa version. 1.2287 0.03663 188 152 29 7
2703 For my next number I'll play the Thrilla in Manila Concerto by Frazier. 1.2287 0.03462 223 182 31 10
2704 I didn't literally mean "I would punch out a tune" 1.2287 0.03220 223 178 39 6
2705 And now for my grand finale, I shall perform my very special rendition of that classic Simon and Garfunkle hit, "The Boxer." 1.2287 0.03157 223 177 41 5
2706 My critics say I can never hit the right key... 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2707 Étude No. 1 in A, B, C, D, E, F, and G, by my 18 months old son. 1.2286 0.03410 210 169 34 7
2708 For those who are sitting ringside—the theme from 'Rocky'.' 1.2286 0.03410 210 169 34 7
2709 I call it, "Concerto in A-minor Concussion for Graziano and flute." 1.2286 0.03476 210 170 32 8
2710 My next piece is the two-fisted Sonata. 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2711 Gloves come off when they turn up the heat. 1.2286 0.03476 210 170 32 8
2712 I'm sorry sir, that's not possible. I'm wearing boxing gloves. 1.2286 0.03729 210 174 24 12
2713 Wait 'til I take the gloves off 1.2284 0.03315 232 188 35 9
2714 This Concerto may seem a little modern for some. 1.2284 0.03765 197 162 25 10
2715 This is my interpretation of Wagners "Ring" Cycle. 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2716 Beethoven's got two chances, slim and none. And slim just left town." 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2717 And now for my most recent composition, a reverential homage entitled "Beethoven's Fists" 1.2283 0.03443 219 178 32 9
2718 And now, a variation on ‘Flight of the Bumble Bee,’ I like to call, ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee!’ 1.2283 0.03381 219 177 34 8
2719 Tonight and one night only: Bach-y Balboa! 1.2283 0.03443 219 178 32 9
2720 This is Sugar Ray Leonard's Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor. 1.2283 0.03792 184 150 26 8
2721 Fortissimo is my forte 1.2283 0.03713 184 149 28 7
2722 And now, as I like to put it, I’m gonna go a few rounds with Ludwig van. 1.2283 0.03549 184 147 32 5
2723 Let's get ready to Rondoooooo! 1.2282 0.03518 206 167 31 8
2724 And one, two, one two, one two, 1.2282 0.03381 206 165 35 6
2725 And now - my interpretation of a Paul Simon classic. 1.2282 0.03651 206 169 27 10
2726 And now, my latest composition in celebration of Boxing Day. 1.2281 0.03520 228 188 28 12
2727 And now for my next selection, “The fight of the bumblebee.”! 1.2280 0.03745 193 158 26 9
2728 Oh no, I forgot the sheet music! 1.2280 0.03598 193 156 30 7
2729 I'd like to close with a medley of Jack White's greatest hits. 1.2280 0.03522 193 155 32 6
2730 Rachmaninoff always makes me punchy. 1.2279 0.03356 215 173 35 7
2731 I hope you enjoy the tunes I am about to knock out for you. 1.2279 0.03356 215 173 35 7
2732 And now I shall play the theme from Rocky. 1.2279 0.03421 215 174 33 8
2733 I can promise you’ll never hear Alkan’s ‘Concerto for Solo Piano’ the same way again. 1.2278 0.03681 180 145 29 6
2734 I will be playing fight of the bumblebee. 1.2277 0.03698 202 166 26 10
2735 And now to pound out a little different beat. 1.2277 0.03274 202 160 38 4
2736 For the first round, I shall play Chopsticks. 1.2277 0.03829 202 168 22 12
2737 And now I'd like to perform a mashup in ALL the majors and minors. 1.2277 0.03631 202 165 28 9
2738 So far so good. Now, with the gloves on, what is this one? 1.2277 0.03631 202 165 28 9
2739 They make Chopsticks much more difficult. 1.2277 0.03493 202 163 32 7
2740 This next number is why I am known as the best pound-for-pound pianist in this town. 1.2275 0.03488 189 151 33 5
2741 Tonight, you will hear me pound the keys like I've never done before. 1.2275 0.03870 189 156 23 10
2742 Okay, I guess the gloves aren’t coming off. 1.2275 0.03645 189 153 29 7
2743 I float like a butterfly and sting like the key of B. 1.2275 0.03526 211 172 30 9
2744 For obvious reasons, I will not be performing “Chopsticks’ tonight. 1.2275 0.03461 211 171 32 8
2745 I’d like to close with The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. 1.2275 0.03526 211 172 30 9
2746 I shall now play Chopin's Minute Waltz in ten seconds. It's a Knock Out! 1.2275 0.03246 233 188 37 8
2747 And now I will play my homage to John Cage. 1.2273 0.03305 220 177 36 7
2748 The maître d' just asked me to sit down and pound out a few numbers.</