Contest #640


Cartoon

640

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Listen to this baby purr.”
  2. “My other cat is a jaguar.”
  3. “It's easy until someone points a laser at the floor.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-11-18T22:20:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-12-09T22:21:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-12-03T22:20:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued December 10, 2018
Number of captions 4931
Number of responses 1631425
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Still got that new cat smell. 1.6330 0.04244 327 178 91 58
1 My other cat is a Jaguar. 1.6220 0.04499 328 194 64 70
2 I just love that new cat smell. 1.5641 0.04219 312 184 80 48
3 It's a rental. The jaguar's in the shop. 1.5565 0.04225 336 208 69 59
4 It's a Furrari. 1.5543 0.04093 341 207 79 55
5 Trump was right. If you're rich, they just let you grab 'em. 1.5539 0.04299 343 219 58 66
6 Best part is it’s self washing. 1.5539 0.04029 334 198 87 49
7 Statistically, it's much safer to be up here than down there. 1.5504 0.03956 347 207 89 51
8 Mousebroken !! 1.5501 0.03938 349 208 90 51
9 This is, of course, the final item on my bucket list. 1.5455 0.04138 341 212 72 57
10 Who hailed a tabby? 1.5452 0.04111 321 193 81 47
11 I called a cab but...auto-correct. 1.5435 0.04365 333 216 53 64
12 It's okay. He's mouse broken. 1.5420 0.03891 345 205 93 47
13 Watch the dog's face when I ride by. 1.5357 0.04082 336 208 76 52
14 First, find a really really stupid cat . . . 1.5307 0.04090 326 201 77 48
15 Listen to this baby purr. 1.5304 0.03958 345 212 83 50
16 Keep your friends close but your predators closer. 1.5304 0.04022 313 187 86 40
17 The Jaguar is in the shop - this is a loaner cat. 1.5301 0.03861 366 226 86 54
18 When it purrs it feels like a Harley 1.5294 0.04089 340 214 72 54
19 Once you learn how to use a can opener, they'll do anything you want. 1.5292 0.04348 308 196 61 51
20 It was the dog's idea. 1.5272 0.04218 294 179 75 40
21 This is nothing; I've got the dog out shopping for cheese! 1.5262 0.03903 344 210 87 47
22 It's easy until someone points a laser at the floor. 1.5260 0.03870 365 227 84 54
23 What are you looking at? Humans drive things that kill them all the time. 1.5230 0.04243 304 190 69 45
24 When you get her up to speed she really purrs. 1.5229 0.04039 350 223 71 56
25 It's a loaner. The dog's at the vet. 1.5228 0.04062 329 205 76 48
26 Of course he won't eat me. It would destroy his Uber rating. 1.5220 0.03908 341 209 86 46
27 My other ride is a jaguar. 1.5210 0.04148 334 214 66 54
28 I got a nine lifetime warranty. 1.5207 0.03935 338 208 84 46
29 She says she's taking me to meet my maker. How cool is that? 1.5207 0.03935 338 208 84 46
30 Keep your enemies close. 1.5205 0.03773 365 224 92 49
31 I found a website where I could register him as an emotional support cat. 1.5200 0.03937 350 219 80 51
32 Let's just say there are some pictures he'd rather not have on the Internet. 1.5194 0.03984 335 208 80 47
33 She's got 4 on the floor and purrs like a kitten! 1.5186 0.04224 322 207 63 52
34 It’s easy as long as no one brings out a laser pointer. 1.5178 0.04166 309 193 72 44
35 What could possibly go wrong? 1.5176 0.04024 313 191 82 40
36 If I'm not back by sundown, jiggle the can opener. 1.5171 0.04165 321 204 68 49
37 This is nothing. The real trick is herding them. 1.5151 0.04080 332 211 71 50
38 This thing really purrs. 1.5117 0.03923 342 214 81 47
39 Turns out we have the same fantasy! 1.5088 0.04028 340 218 71 51
40 I'm a little worried about Harold. That just screams mid-life crisis. 1.5087 0.03931 346 219 78 49
41 He’s “Mouse” Broken 1.5081 0.04013 309 190 81 38
42 I’m saving up for a Jaguar. 1.5070 0.03962 359 233 70 56
43 Curiosity killed my last one. 1.5044 0.03910 341 215 80 46
44 Do you mind running in front of us? I'm in a bit of a hurry. 1.5030 0.04209 328 217 57 54
45 Relax, guys, he's mouse-broken. 1.5029 0.03790 342 211 90 41
46 You can’t herd them but they have a surprising aptitude for dressage. 1.5016 0.04230 317 208 59 50
47 He chooses to identify as a horse, and who am I to judge? 1.5000 0.03744 374 238 85 51
48 He was sentenced to community service. 1.5000 0.03756 332 202 94 36
49 Did you guys call for a tabby? 1.5000 0.03893 348 222 78 48
50 Don’t worry. He’s mousebroken. 1.4986 0.03867 351 224 79 48
51 It’s the last item on my bucket list. 1.4984 0.03960 309 191 82 36
52 Sure, it's a step down from the Jaguar - but it's so much more fuel efficient. 1.4955 0.03855 337 212 83 42
53 Relax, he's mouse-broken. 1.4954 0.03937 325 205 79 41
54 It's a real thrill when she hears the can opener. 1.4954 0.03907 323 202 82 39
55 It's all good until she wants to lick herself. 1.4941 0.03919 340 218 76 46
56 I just grabbed one like the President said. That guy's a genius. 1.4935 0.04206 310 203 61 46
57 Let's just say it wasn't possible before marijuana was legalized. 1.4922 0.04095 321 209 66 46
58 I got places to go - hand me a laser pointer. 1.4910 0.03972 334 216 72 46
59 He's taking me to dinner. 1.4909 0.03986 330 213 72 45
60 The mileage isn't bad once you adjust for all the naps. 1.4897 0.03768 339 212 88 39
61 He watched Fox News for thousands of hours. Now I can convince him about anything. 1.4888 0.04224 313 208 57 48
62 It’s a loner. My Jaguar’s in the shop. 1.4886 0.04058 307 196 72 39
63 This is my emotional support animal. 1.4881 0.03863 336 214 80 42
64 Things sure changed when they legalized marijuana. 1.4838 0.03837 339 217 80 42
65 This baby purrs 1.4837 0.03761 337 212 87 38
66 And you laughed when I took that class on hypnosis. 1.4836 0.03848 335 214 80 41
67 He's vegan, it's fine. 1.4808 0.03930 312 198 78 36
68 It was easy. I slipped him a Mickey. 1.4807 0.03830 337 216 80 41
69 Better on than in, I say. 1.4804 0.04041 306 197 71 38
70 Just listen to that engine purr! 1.4802 0.03947 329 214 72 43
71 Don’t worry. It’s a service animal. 1.4801 0.03965 327 213 71 43
72 I told you I got a furrari 1.4800 0.03887 325 208 78 39
73 No, I haven't tried dismounting yet. Why? 1.4799 0.03978 323 210 71 42
74 It comes with a nine lives warranty. 1.4792 0.03792 336 214 83 39
75 When you're a celebrity, they just let you do it. 1.4792 0.03997 336 223 65 48
76 Listen to the way this baby purrs! 1.4788 0.04031 307 198 71 38
77 I know, I know -- but the helmet made me look stupid. 1.4783 0.03685 322 198 94 30
78 The engine really purrs." 1.4779 0.03673 339 212 92 35
79 He's taking me to his place for lunch 1.4772 0.03779 329 208 85 36
80 Turns out I’m the first one to ask. 1.4756 0.03840 349 229 74 46
81 He's taking me out for a bite to eat. 1.4753 0.03658 364 234 87 43
82 What could go wrong? 1.4750 0.03957 320 208 72 40
83 Tabby ho 1.4747 0.03994 316 206 70 40
84 It's perfectly safe, he doesn't identify as a cat 1.4738 0.03862 325 209 78 38
85 Can you hear that engine purr? 1.4734 0.03916 319 206 75 38
86 It's actually easier than herding them. 1.4725 0.03717 345 221 85 39
87 If you’re famous they’ll let you do anything 1.4709 0.04171 327 225 50 52
88 The safety ratings aren't great, but guys, you should hear this baby purr! 1.4699 0.03703 332 210 88 34
89 Certified pre-owned, but she purrs like a kitten. 1.4692 0.03840 341 224 74 43
90 He identifies as a horse. 1.4681 0.03897 329 216 72 41
91 This could go south real fast – but I’ve never felt so alive! 1.4681 0.03945 329 218 68 43
92 He's taking us all out to lunch afterward. I think that's what he said... 1.4678 0.03853 342 226 72 44
93 This, living dangerously?! My other cat is a jaguar. 1.4675 0.03927 323 212 71 40
94 That's not us, the app says our driver is in a white Persian 1.4674 0.03868 353 237 67 49
95 Wow. The engine purrs beautifully. 1.4667 0.04052 315 210 63 42
96 We have a modern relationship 1.4667 0.03816 330 214 78 38
97 The President said it was OK to grab one. 1.4659 0.04073 337 232 53 52
98 Guide says the tour ends with a play and dinner. 1.4653 0.03927 346 234 63 49
99 Statistically, it's much safer than driving a car. 1.4653 0.03831 331 216 76 39
100 Turns out, all this time it's been just a huge misunderstanding. 1.4652 0.04042 316 211 63 42
101 Trump said to grab one, so I did. 1.4650 0.04060 329 224 57 48
102 He’s taking me for lunch! 1.4650 0.03873 329 216 73 40
103 Just listen to this baby purr! 1.4648 0.03724 355 233 79 43
104 Don't worry, it's mousebroken. 1.4641 0.03847 306 195 80 31
105 She's vegan. 1.4636 0.03912 302 194 76 32
106 Herding Cats is easier than you think. 1.4633 0.03689 354 231 82 41
107 So I said, “Have you ever been hypnotized?” And he said, “No, but I’m curious.” 1.4625 0.03947 307 200 72 35
108 Listen to that engine purr 1.4625 0.03814 333 218 76 39
109 He’s my therapy animal 1.4622 0.03758 331 214 81 36
110 Once you can herd them, taking it to the next level is easy. 1.4622 0.03807 331 216 77 38
111 We just want to see the dog totally freak out. 1.4620 0.03716 342 222 82 38
112 I could tell you how, but I’d rather you buy my book. 1.4611 0.03635 334 212 90 32
113 Don't worry. The next one is coming in three minutes. 1.4608 0.03701 332 213 85 34
114 Find one on their eighth life and they’ll do anything! 1.4608 0.03887 319 209 73 37
115 It’s a loaner. My Rottweiler is in the shop. 1.4604 0.03783 328 213 79 36
116 He's a tabby, but he identifies as a stallion. 1.4603 0.04075 315 213 59 43
117 We met on Litter. 1.4600 0.03806 350 234 71 45
118 Should we tell him that no one has returned from the "free" ride? 1.4599 0.04036 324 220 59 45
119 It is easier than trying to herd them. 1.4592 0.03744 355 236 75 44
120 You don't wanna be around when the catnip wears off. 1.4587 0.03766 327 212 80 35
121 Reparations. 1.4587 0.03913 327 218 68 41
122 Wait 'til you hear this baby purrr 1.4579 0.03792 321 208 79 34
123 If you hear a can opener you better hang on. 1.4577 0.03886 343 232 65 46
124 Either of you have a laser pointer? I'm in kind of a rush. 1.4572 0.04212 304 209 51 44
125 Only problem is you can never get off. 1.4563 0.03569 355 229 90 36
126 It's easier than herding them. 1.4560 0.03995 318 214 63 41
127 It's a new rideshare, 'Puss en Routes'! 1.4557 0.04044 305 204 63 38
128 Next time I'm getting the jaguar 1.4556 0.03793 338 224 74 40
129 We made a deal - I get to ride him, he gets to eat one of you. 1.4551 0.03748 323 209 81 33
130 There'll be hell to pay when the catnip wears off. 1.4551 0.03712 345 227 79 39
131 It’s a smooth ride until we see a dog 1.4540 0.03847 326 216 72 38
132 Ready...release the dog! 1.4534 0.03882 322 214 70 38
133 The key is staying in the blind spot. 1.4524 0.03927 294 191 73 30
134 It took awhile but now he's mouse-broken. 1.4522 0.03851 314 206 74 34
135 It's kind of dull until he hears the can opener. 1.4521 0.03802 334 222 73 39
136 What cat? 1.4520 0.03848 323 214 72 37
137 Don’t worry guys, he identifies as a horse. 1.4518 0.03659 363 242 78 43
138 My other cat is a dog. 1.4516 0.03834 341 230 68 43
139 I can't decide whether to lease or buy. 1.4514 0.03832 319 210 74 35
140 Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. 1.4513 0.03618 339 219 87 33
141 We got tired of playing cat and mouse 1.4510 0.04033 306 206 62 38
142 There once was a mousey from Gatt who smilingly rode on a cat at the end of the ride, young mousey was inside And the smile on the face of the cat 1.4503 0.03955 322 218 63 41
143 You have no idea how stupid they are. I just told him I would make his sandbox great again. 1.4499 0.03875 349 240 61 48
144 I've only been thrown once when he had a hairball. 1.4498 0.03771 329 217 76 36
145 Yea, I got her used. On her 8th life. 1.4488 0.03673 361 242 76 43
146 There IS a good chance he’ll eat me, but it cuts my commute by 12 minutes 1.4487 0.03742 341 227 75 39
147 Relax, he identifies as a pony. 1.4485 0.03712 330 216 80 34
148 If you have to ask how many kitty treats it takes, you can't afford it. 1.4479 0.04001 317 216 60 41
149 Recreational catnip has ushered in a new world order. 1.4477 0.03602 344 224 86 34
150 It cost my husband an arm and a leg, but it's worth it. 1.4475 0.03768 362 248 66 48
151 Breaking them isn't too hard, it's herding them that's the real challenge. 1.4474 0.03855 333 225 67 41
152 We made a deal...I told him I will reveal how to catch the red laser dot. 1.4472 0.03880 322 216 68 38
153 When they’re on their ninth lives, they start taking penance really seriously 1.4467 0.03766 338 226 73 39
154 Anybody wanna go scare the hell out of the farmer's wife? 1.4465 0.03835 327 219 70 38
155 Don't worry...I've taken Uber rides that are way more sketchy than this. 1.4461 0.03846 334 226 67 41
156 They’re surprisingly easy to tame if you know where to scratch. 1.4461 0.03725 343 229 75 39
157 You should hear how the engine purrs. 1.4448 0.03693 344 229 77 38
158 “Saddle-up, boys. They just legalized recreational catnip.” 1.4435 0.03676 363 246 73 44
159 My other horse is a dog. 1.4428 0.03767 332 222 73 37
160 I met him in the alley behind Trump Tower. He’ll believe anything I tell him. 1.4427 0.03943 323 221 61 41
161 Turns out herding cats isn't that hard. 1.4424 0.03759 330 220 74 36
162 I got him already mouse broken! 1.4424 0.03685 330 217 80 33
163 My Persian is at the vet. 1.4421 0.03653 337 222 81 34
164 All you need is patience, understanding, and be a witness to who broke that expensive vase last week. 1.4419 0.03775 353 242 66 45
165 He wouldn't agree until I told him he could eat both of you. 1.4416 0.03846 317 212 70 35
166 When your famous,you can grab a pussy whenever you want! 1.4413 0.04117 315 221 49 45
167 Yeah, well they said Trump becoming president was not possible, either! 1.4413 0.03786 349 239 66 44
168 The only downside is that it needs to recharge for 18 hours a day. 1.4412 0.03770 340 230 70 40
169 Now run in front of him and let’s see how long I can stay on. 1.4408 0.03740 338 227 73 38
170 When I get her going she really purrs! 1.4407 0.03840 329 223 67 39
171 Wait'll you see what's riding the dog. 1.4398 0.03765 332 223 72 37
172 I just park her in a patch of sun to recharge. 1.4396 0.03767 323 215 74 34
173 Cuts my commute and life expectancy in half. 1.4393 0.03818 305 201 74 30
174 I call it a Cat-ilac. 1.4390 0.03736 344 233 71 40
175 My first rodeo? Why do you ask? 1.4387 0.03882 310 208 68 34
176 I can't believe we didn't figure this out sooner. 1.4383 0.03548 324 208 90 26
177 The best part of the ride is when the dog gets loose. 1.4379 0.03864 306 204 70 32
178 This model came with a 9-life warranty. 1.4379 0.03619 338 223 82 33
179 Next week we'll work on getting that pig in the shed to fly. 1.4377 0.03614 329 215 84 30
180 I swear, this is a legitimate service animal. 1.4375 0.03740 320 212 76 32
181 I call her 'Fleabiscuit' 1.4371 0.03957 302 204 64 34
182 I always say, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." 1.4358 0.03561 358 239 82 37
183 I got the idea when I heard Trump say, “just grab ‘em…” 1.4356 0.04054 326 231 48 47
184 Watch when I bark! 1.4352 0.03832 324 220 67 37
185 The cat said if I took a test drive there would be a nice meal waiting for me at the end. 1.4350 0.03771 331 224 70 37
186 What, you've never seen an emotional support kitty in training? 1.4349 0.03878 292 193 71 28
187 He was a rescue. 1.4349 0.03968 292 196 65 31
188 It's ok - he's vegan 1.4349 0.03618 338 224 81 33
189 She has a smooth trot and comes with nine lives or ninety thousand miles. 1.4349 0.03760 338 230 69 39
190 Today, we won the rat race." 1.4349 0.03667 361 247 71 43
191 Hey, when you’re a star, you can grab a pussy! 1.4343 0.03817 350 244 60 46
192 Told you decriminalizing marijuana had benefits. 1.4337 0.03834 309 207 70 32
193 Herding them isn’t that hard, it’s feeding them where you have to be careful. 1.4329 0.03796 328 223 68 37
194 We're herding cats. 1.4327 0.03727 342 233 70 39
195 When you're a star, they let you do it. 1.4327 0.03760 349 241 65 43
196 Don’t worry fellas, he identifies as a horse! 1.4324 0.03777 333 227 68 38
197 We’re on our way to help a fireman stuck in a tree. 1.4322 0.03719 354 244 67 43
198 It's perfectly safe ... he comes from a no kill shelter. 1.4318 0.03638 359 245 73 41
199 It's a rescue. 1.4315 0.03656 336 225 77 34
200 Don't knock my ride, fellas. This baby purrs. 1.4315 0.03656 336 225 77 34
201 You should hear the engine on this baby purr! 1.4315 0.03704 336 227 73 36
202 This mouse in New Your City_Smiled as she rode on a kitty._They returned from the ride_With the mouse inside_And the smile on the face of the kitty. 1.4315 0.03853 343 240 58 45
203 She corners like a dream and listen to that purr. 1.4314 0.03640 350 237 75 38
204 This is his eighth life. He’s mellowed. 1.4314 0.03747 306 202 76 28
205 It’s jerry and tom now 1.4313 0.03742 313 208 75 30
206 ‘Some whispering, mostly catnip.’ 1.4312 0.03736 320 214 74 32
207 The first step was to find a cat with a mouse food allergy. 1.4312 0.03710 320 213 76 31
208 You become friends with the dog. That's how. 1.4308 0.03820 325 222 66 37
209 Therapy animals really do reduce anxiety. 1.4305 0.03953 302 206 62 34
210 We’re in the majority. It’s time to start acting like it. 1.4303 0.03647 337 226 77 34
211 The dog owed me a favor. 1.4298 0.03487 342 224 89 29
212 No worries, she's a vegan. 1.4290 0.03719 331 224 72 35
213 It's actually easier than herding cats. 1.4290 0.03590 338 225 81 32
214 This one's a vegan. Sorry about last week. 1.4290 0.03636 359 246 72 41
215 You haven't told me yet what happened to the previous 27 test pilots. 1.4286 0.03760 329 224 69 36
216 Who called for an U-Purr? 1.4277 0.03817 339 236 61 42
217 Mileage isn't great,but the wow factor is killer. 1.4277 0.03685 332 224 74 34
218 Because I'm a star, I just grabbed the pussy and he let me! 1.4272 0.03886 323 224 60 39
219 The riding is easy, it's the herding that's the challenge. 1.4265 0.03615 347 235 76 36
220 When you've participated in the number of scientific experiments I have, you learn a little about training. 1.4261 0.03622 352 240 74 38
221 The best part is all I need to do to steer the thing is point a laser where I want to go. 1.4261 0.03833 345 243 57 45
222 It’s a sweet ride until he has to refuel. 1.4255 0.03807 329 227 64 38
223 It's not exploitation if I call him a service animal. 1.4255 0.03807 329 227 64 38
224 Riding's easy - it's herding them that's tough. 1.4252 0.03875 301 204 66 31
225 My other cat is a Persian. 1.4251 0.03725 327 222 71 34
226 It's a long story. 1.4248 0.03506 339 224 86 29
227 Once I convinced him that curiosity killed the cat, the rest was easy. 1.4246 0.03638 325 217 78 30
228 Once they legalized recreational catnip ... it was easy. 1.4246 0.03915 325 228 56 41
229 He responds to "Kitty-up." 1.4245 0.03606 351 239 75 37
230 You gotta say ‘kitty up’! 1.4244 0.03783 311 210 70 31
231 It works like magic until the dog barks. 1.4244 0.03706 344 237 68 39
232 Actually, they crave discipline. 1.4239 0.03756 335 231 66 38
233 It's the journey, not the destination. 1.4235 0.03547 340 227 82 31
234 It's consensual. 1.4227 0.03649 317 211 78 28
235 The trick is to always remember your safe word. 1.4226 0.03650 336 228 74 34
236 it's pronounced "U-PURR" not "UBER" 1.4220 0.03871 327 229 58 40
237 Of course, at the end of the ride, he still eats me. 1.4218 0.03650 339 231 73 35
238 Now all we need is a laser pointer! 1.4216 0.03673 370 261 62 47
239 I learned how to use a can opener. 1.4215 0.03840 325 226 61 38
240 Couldn't resist. She was a rescue. 1.4211 0.03579 342 231 78 33
241 Did you ever see such a sight in your life? 1.4209 0.03921 316 221 57 38
242 He's dependable and gets pretty good mileage — except for when he sees a laser pointer. 1.4209 0.03710 316 213 73 30
243 He's on a strict vegan diet. 1.4206 0.03773 321 220 67 34
244 Who says you can't complete your bucket list? 1.4199 0.03713 331 227 69 35
245 This thing goes like a cat out of hell. 1.4199 0.03852 312 215 63 34
246 My other ride is a Great Dane. 1.4182 0.03718 318 216 71 31
247 Turns out he just wanted to be scratched behind the ears! 1.4181 0.03853 287 193 68 26
248 He's a Republican.. keeps those blinders on all the time and goes anywhere I tell him... 1.4178 0.03672 359 252 64 43
249 How do you like my Furrari? 1.4178 0.03870 304 209 63 32
250 The trick is finding one on its ninth life. 1.4177 0.03708 316 214 72 30
251 The key is to avoid mirrors. 1.4177 0.03532 328 218 83 27
252 Sure beats herding them. 1.4174 0.03745 321 220 68 33
253 I think I’ve solved our cat problem! 1.4172 0.03626 326 220 76 30
254 Sometimes you have to think outside the litter box. 1.4171 0.03654 350 243 68 39
255 I'm still working out the dismount part. 1.4167 0.03388 348 230 91 27
256 Her name's Flea Biscuit. 1.4162 0.03662 334 229 71 34
257 Check it out. This baby really purrs 1.4161 0.03710 322 220 70 32
258 Got him from a little-old-lady...& he still has a few more lives left. 1.4160 0.03555 351 240 76 35
259 All this time, we just had to rub their tummies a little. 1.4159 0.03668 327 223 72 32
260 I got tired of the rat race 1.4159 0.03822 315 218 63 34
261 I Added Some Medical Marijuana to the Catnip 1.4156 0.03804 320 222 63 35
262 My Jaguar is in the shop and this is all they could come up with for a loaner. 1.4155 0.03500 349 236 81 32
263 Said the mouse on a cat with a blinder, To two friends who were smiling behind her, "It's so lovely to ride, While on top and outside", But the cat will laugh last should he find her. 1.4153 0.03867 313 218 60 35
264 What can possibly go wrong, guys? 1.4152 0.03646 342 236 70 36
265 It's a hybrid. 1.4146 0.03760 328 228 64 36
266 You just gotta start when they're kittens. 1.4143 0.03397 350 233 89 28
267 Barring any unforeseen yarn balls, we’ll be there by noon. 1.4136 0.03562 353 243 74 36
268 Kitty-up? 1.4136 0.03717 324 223 68 33
269 We're going to his place for dinner. 1.4128 0.03742 327 227 65 35
270 The farmer's wife is going to freak out when she sees this! 1.4128 0.03816 327 230 59 38
271 Seriously, guys. Ever since I got out of that maze, I feel like I can conquer anything. 1.4128 0.03666 327 224 71 32
272 Its my new therapy cat. 1.4127 0.03925 315 223 54 38
273 If you have to ask the price, you probably can't afford it. 1.4127 0.03700 332 230 67 35
274 It's a Catillac 1.4123 0.03688 308 208 73 27
275 Yeah, it's a little unsafe, but you should hear this bad boy purr. 1.4123 0.03834 325 229 58 38
276 Okay, now one of you guys run up ahead--I wanna see how fast he can go! 1.4121 0.03651 347 242 67 38
277 Seriously, I don't know why we didn't think of this earlier? 1.4116 0.03380 345 229 90 26
278 The dog was a big help. 1.4115 0.03288 384 259 92 33
279 When I get there? I don't know - I imagine I'll run like hell. 1.4111 0.03496 377 263 73 41
280 He's not so bad. He just invited me for lunch. 1.4110 0.03595 326 221 76 29
281 Sorry, buddy, this is the fe-line. The B -Line is across town. 1.4109 0.03732 331 231 64 36
282 Yeah, she really purrs. 1.4108 0.03398 353 237 87 29
283 After he drops me off, he promised to take you both out for dinner. 1.4107 0.03642 336 232 70 34
284 Keep your friends close and your enemies closer! 1.4107 0.03618 336 231 72 33
285 If you're rich, you can grab one and they won't do anything 1.4105 0.03915 324 232 51 41
286 It’s my new Catilac. 1.4103 0.03709 312 213 70 29
287 I got the video of him peeing on the bed..... 1.4101 0.03904 317 225 54 38
288 I don't know about you guys, but I'm smelling a nursery rhyme here! 1.4100 0.03737 339 239 61 39
289 You have to think outside the litterbox. 1.4100 0.03618 339 234 71 34
290 I learned it from Trump. If you tell enough lies, you can get anybody to do anything. 1.4099 0.03808 322 226 60 36
291 We're going after the farmer's wife. Care to join us? 1.4098 0.03466 366 252 78 36
292 You have to make him believe it was his idea... like our president. 1.4096 0.03698 332 231 66 35
293 If you can get the dog in here, I'll show you the turbo. 1.4095 0.03603 359 252 67 40
294 Ubercat 1.4092 0.03628 325 222 73 30
295 My other cat is a Siamese. 1.4088 0.03512 340 231 79 30
296 First step is to raise them on a strict vegan diet. 1.4088 0.03685 318 218 70 30
297 My emotional support animal. 1.4086 0.03671 350 247 63 40
298 Cat whisperer. 1.4086 0.03511 350 240 77 33
299 We are on a blind date. 1.4080 0.03747 326 228 63 35
300 She's a gift from my husband. 1.4079 0.03918 304 214 56 34
301 Sorry I'm late. She stalled in a sunbeam. 1.4079 0.03946 304 215 54 35
302 My other car's a Cheetah 1.4079 0.03705 331 231 65 35
303 Take away the distractions and this baby really purrs. 1.4075 0.03621 319 217 74 28
304 Purrs like a kitten. 1.4073 0.03444 356 243 81 32
305 Ha! And humans say you can't herd cats. 1.4071 0.03543 339 232 76 31
306 I know it's kinky, but she's into horseplay. 1.4070 0.03554 344 237 74 33
307 It’s a loaner, my mouserati is in the shop. 1.4069 0.03446 349 237 82 30
308 Millions of years and no one ever had the guts to throw a saddle on one of these things. 1.4068 0.03623 322 220 73 29
309 Have you ever seen such a sight in your life? 1.4068 0.03572 354 247 70 37
310 Actually, this IS my first rodeo. 1.4066 0.03493 332 224 81 27
311 My new ride really purrs. 1.4065 0.03482 337 228 81 28
312 It's my therapist's idea 1.4062 0.03344 357 240 89 28
313 It's a very smooth ride until he sees a dog. 1.4061 0.03534 330 224 78 28
314 Cool, right? Just one question: does anyone know how long catnip lasts? 1.4059 0.04106 271 190 52 29
315 Not to worry. She's a vegan. 1.4054 0.03587 333 229 73 31
316 Hey guys! Have you heard of the new ride-share service, Upurr? 1.4050 0.03576 321 218 76 27
317 I’d rather ride on a cat than in one. 1.4049 0.03401 326 216 88 22
318 It's called thinking outside the litter box. 1.4043 0.03332 376 257 86 33
319 3D printer. 1.4041 0.03685 339 239 63 37
320 Turns out, you can just grab 'em and they let you do whatever you want. 1.4037 0.03829 322 229 56 37
321 Who called for an Uber? 1.4035 0.03614 342 239 68 35
322 He's good for fifty miles or until he eats you. 1.4035 0.03622 347 244 66 37
323 Just wait until you hear this baby purr! 1.4031 0.03489 325 219 81 25
324 And yet they have the humans completely buffaloed. 1.4029 0.03519 345 238 75 32
325 I'd rather you didn't pet him. He's working right now. 1.4026 0.03635 303 205 74 24
326 I just reminded him what happens to the ones who get too curious. 1.4019 0.03733 321 225 63 33
327 He's my therapy pet. 1.4018 0.03717 326 229 63 34
328 Cat-a-lac...all-terrain and cleans its own chassis 1.4018 0.03600 331 229 71 31
329 He’s quite poor at dressage, but an excellent jumper. 1.4018 0.03586 336 233 71 32
330 It's the 2019 Catillac. 1.4018 0.03691 341 242 61 38
331 I decided to get out of the rat race once and for all. 1.4012 0.03666 329 230 66 33
332 It’s a game of cat-and-mouse— I won. 1.4012 0.03675 334 235 64 35
333 Rides great but parking is impossible 1.4012 0.03626 334 233 68 33
334 ...but keep your enemies closer. 1.4006 0.03366 342 230 87 25
335 On her days off, she rides the dog. 1.4000 0.03466 335 228 80 27
336 Heading back to the hypnotist, need anything? 1.4000 0.03219 380 257 94 29
337 Ambien 1.4000 0.03657 330 231 66 33
338 I guess you guys must have been in the control group. 1.4000 0.03642 335 235 66 34
339 You ladies into bad boys? 1.4000 0.03687 320 223 66 31
340 It’s not quite a Jaguar, but it’s still a nice ride 1.3994 0.03544 338 234 73 31
341 She's fast and runs great! What do I care that the last owner disappeared? 1.3994 0.03557 333 230 73 30
342 I'm not exactly sure what to feed him. 1.3994 0.03633 333 233 67 33
343 He really thinks I'm the voice inside his head 1.3994 0.03783 318 225 59 34
344 When you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything... 1.3994 0.03928 308 221 51 36
345 Why the surprised looks? I'm Amish. 1.3989 0.03449 351 242 78 31
346 No thanks; we'll walk. 1.3988 0.03689 326 229 64 33
347 Do you like my Catillac? 1.3988 0.03663 326 228 66 32
348 Don't worry, my insurance covers up to nine lives. 1.3987 0.03827 316 225 56 35
349 This was the easy part, now I'm off to herd Congress. 1.3981 0.03851 319 229 53 37
350 We met on kink.com. 1.3981 0.03863 309 220 55 34
351 Isn't Amazon great!? 1.3977 0.03691 352 254 56 42
352 Just got her tuna'd up and she's purring like a kitten again 1.3976 0.03624 337 237 66 34
353 My other cat is a cougar. 1.3975 0.03616 322 223 70 29
354 I'm considering trading it in for a Jaguar. 1.3974 0.03808 312 221 58 33
355 So who will never amount to anything now, Janet? 1.3971 0.03600 340 239 67 34
356 The blinders are more for his self-esteem, to be honest. 1.3970 0.03463 335 229 79 27
357 Find yourselves a dog and we'll be reining cats and dogs. 1.3964 0.03728 333 238 58 37
358 He broke like a tabby but he rides like a calico. 1.3960 0.03688 303 209 68 26
359 The dealer assured me it's vegetarian. 1.3958 0.03703 336 240 59 37
360 Yeah, I voted for Trump. Why do you ask? 1.3955 0.03678 359 261 54 44
361 It is amazing what you can get away with using catnip and weed. 1.3953 0.03702 339 243 58 38
362 You just have to say "Kitty-up" 1.3948 0.03722 309 216 64 29
363 First, you have to convince him that he's a horse. Then, you have to convince him that you're a human. The rest is easy. 1.3941 0.03622 340 241 64 35
364 He lost a bet with the Siamese. 1.3940 0.03486 335 231 76 28
365 When you ride a cat, nobody knows you’re a mouse. 1.3939 0.03471 330 226 78 26
366 Fluffy and I will chase after the farmer’s wife, you two run up the clock. 1.3937 0.03778 315 224 58 33
367 It's safer than Uber 1.3935 0.03740 310 218 62 30
368 When you're a star, they let you do anything. 1.3933 0.03801 300 211 60 29
369 The hardest part was opening the tuna 1.3932 0.03468 351 245 74 32
370 In VR, nobody knows you're a mouse. 1.3931 0.03671 318 223 65 30
371 Milk, bread, cheese... anything else? 1.3929 0.03579 336 236 68 32
372 They let anyone adopt, they don’t even ask what you’re going use them for 1.3926 0.03632 326 229 66 31
373 It's the greatest invention since sliced cheese. 1.3926 0.03709 326 232 60 34
374 It’s amazing what they will let you do when you’re famous 1.3925 0.03646 321 225 66 30
375 It's important to avoid mirrors. 1.3924 0.03518 344 241 71 32
376 All those cat stories, "Fake News" 1.3924 0.03636 344 246 61 37
377 I'm planning to take them off when we get to my ex's. 1.3920 0.03365 352 242 82 28
378 Some guy named "Trump" said that you could get away with putting your hand on a pussy and well here I am! 1.3920 0.03901 324 238 45 41
379 So it turns out the cat's an idiot. 1.3917 0.03643 337 240 62 35
380 For such an old model she purrs like a kitten. 1.3912 0.03497 340 237 73 30
381 26,578 “likes” so far 1.3909 0.03544 353 251 66 36
382 He went vegan last year. 1.3909 0.03649 307 213 68 26
383 What can I say? I'm a cat whiskerer. 1.3902 0.03715 328 235 58 35
384 Once I discovered he's vegan, the rest was easy. 1.3902 0.03453 346 241 75 30
385 Jump on, before the effects of the cat nip wear off! 1.3899 0.03264 336 225 91 20
386 Kitty-up" works for me 1.3894 0.03353 357 247 81 29
387 I always wanted a Catillac. 1.3887 0.03527 355 253 66 36
388 I call him "Seabiscat"... 1.3887 0.03542 337 237 69 31
389 Yeah, and the cat you rode in on. 1.3887 0.03549 319 221 72 26
390 I told you not to eat those mushrooms. 1.3884 0.03385 345 238 80 27
391 It's a rental 1.3883 0.03630 309 215 68 26
392 What do you think of the new Catillac? 1.3882 0.03731 304 214 62 28
393 It’s the dismount that’s concerning. 1.3880 0.03624 299 206 70 23
394 The only thing I worry about is the president grabbing it. 1.3878 0.03733 343 251 51 41
395 This baby really purrs! 1.3871 0.03486 341 239 72 30
396 He promised me a ride if I would make him a meal. 1.3871 0.03649 310 217 66 27
397 Some idiot told him they let you do anything when you're a star - and he went out and grabbed himself a pussy... 1.3870 0.03729 323 232 57 34
398 I can't believe no one has tried this before 1.3868 0.03476 349 246 71 32
399 Say what you want, but it's safer than Uber. 1.3863 0.03432 365 259 71 35
400 Who knew cats were so bad at poker? 1.3863 0.03559 321 224 70 27
401 It gets me from point A to point B, but when my lease is up I'm getting a Jaguar! 1.3863 0.03640 321 227 64 30
402 I'm heading to the dog park. 1.3861 0.03399 360 253 75 32
403 He behaves as long as I speak with a dog's accent. 1.3854 0.03752 314 225 57 32
404 What he can't see won't feed him. 1.3853 0.03565 327 230 68 29
405 It'll make herding them so much easier. 1.3853 0.03538 327 229 70 28
406 Check out my Catallac 1.3853 0.03541 340 241 67 32
407 He identifies as a race horse. 1.3852 0.03403 366 259 73 34
408 Now this is what I call house broken. 1.3851 0.03577 322 226 68 28
409 Who says you can’t herd cats? 1.3851 0.03550 322 225 70 27
410 I am the cat whisperer. 1.3851 0.03361 348 241 80 27
411 I’m off to accept my Nobel Peace Prize. 1.3848 0.03566 343 245 64 34
412 It's virtual reality. He thinks he stalking a mouse. 1.3848 0.03445 343 240 74 29
413 He’s been fixed more ways then you can imagine. 1.3846 0.03684 325 233 59 33
414 She’s my emotional service predator. 1.3846 0.03896 286 204 54 28
415 It wasn’t easy but he’s now fully mouse trained 1.3844 0.03669 333 240 58 35
416 Adding cannabis to the catnip was all it took. 1.3842 0.03508 354 253 66 35
417 Heading over to PetCo ... want anything? 1.3838 0.03883 284 202 55 27
418 Scientists reveal most common theme in mice dreams 1.3837 0.03336 344 237 82 25
419 I bought a can opener. 1.3836 0.03887 305 222 49 34
420 As long as he doesn't roll over, it's perfectly safe. 1.3835 0.03308 352 243 83 26
421 The real trick is knowing when she’s going to roll over on her back! 1.3835 0.03396 339 235 78 26
422 A trap? How could it be a trap? 1.3833 0.03341 347 240 81 26
423 Our therapist said role change might ease the tension." 1.3832 0.03560 334 237 66 31
424 As you can see, he's a Trump supporter. 1.3830 0.03620 342 247 59 36
425 Tell mom not to wait up. 1.3827 0.03612 324 230 64 30
426 It only works right after he comes back from the vet. 1.3826 0.03428 345 242 74 29
427 It's a self-driving cat. What could go wrong? 1.3824 0.03680 319 228 60 31
428 The trick is to use alternative facts. 1.3824 0.03707 306 217 61 28
429 And when you get her above 60... Wow! You oughta hear her purr! 1.3822 0.03694 314 224 60 30
430 I'm safe until I dismount 1.3821 0.03601 301 209 69 23
431 When you’re famous, they just let you grab ‘em by the pussy. 1.3819 0.03635 343 249 57 37
432 He says the blinders give him 'plausible deniability.' 1.3816 0.03782 304 218 56 30
433 It's a conservative cat -- it was already into wearing the blinders. 1.3814 0.03715 333 243 53 37
434 He is a vegan from California 1.3805 0.03665 339 247 55 37
435 I haven't finished reading the manual, but the salesman said fuel wouldn't be a problem. 1.3805 0.03519 339 241 67 31
436 You control the cat, you control the house. 1.3804 0.03567 326 231 66 29
437 Once they're broken, they're total pussies. 1.3803 0.03451 355 253 69 33
438 Do you by any chance know where the closest litter box is? 1.3802 0.03506 334 236 69 29
439 Demouseticated Cat 1.3802 0.03617 313 221 65 27
440 The blinders are just ornamental. It's the LSD that makes this work. 1.3801 0.03593 342 247 60 35
441 The dog had fleas 1.3799 0.03491 329 231 71 27
442 To London, of course, to see the queen. 1.3799 0.03647 329 237 59 33
443 I got the idea from the way Mitch McConnell run s the Senate. 1.3797 0.03756 316 229 54 33
444 Herding them is the hard part. 1.3794 0.03689 311 222 60 29
445 Finally, a truly domesticated cat! 1.3794 0.03717 311 223 58 30
446 Yes, this is my first rodeo. Why? 1.3794 0.03385 340 237 77 26
447 My therapist recommended it before she disappeared. 1.3793 0.03622 319 227 63 29
448 Got the basic idea from a Fox News story about Trump and the Republican Party 1.3791 0.03647 335 243 57 35
449 It's zippy but the emissions are terrible. 1.3791 0.03340 335 231 81 23
450 I love herding cats. 1.3790 0.03488 343 244 68 31
451 Once he stopped focusing on the obvious,we were good to go. 1.3787 0.03424 338 237 74 27
452 She wanted to atone for millenia of feline aggression. I wanted a ride. It's worked out for both of us. 1.3787 0.03424 338 237 74 27
453 But the dismount is problematic. 1.3785 0.03382 325 224 79 22
454 The hard part was getting her to believe she’s still in charge. 1.3784 0.03433 333 233 74 26
455 He rides fine, but I am a little worried about feeding time. 1.3784 0.03460 333 234 72 27
456 More often dressage, but steeplechase if he sees a good snack opportunity. 1.3780 0.03385 336 234 77 25
457 She really purrs like a kitten. 1.3780 0.03489 336 238 69 29
458 Three words, cognitive behavioral therapy.. 1.3777 0.03367 323 222 80 21
459 Hey. It's carbon-free, sustainable transportation. What could go wrong? 1.3775 0.03378 355 251 74 30
460 Wait till the farmer's wife gets a load of ME! 1.3773 0.03457 326 228 73 25
461 It’s the next best thing to a Jaguar. 1.3773 0.03402 326 226 77 23
462 36 month lease, no money down and a full 9 lives warranty, how could I pass it up" ? 1.3770 0.03725 313 226 56 31
463 'Fluffy says that your turn is next--right after lunch." 1.3769 0.03567 329 235 64 30
464 And he thinks it's his idea! 1.3761 0.03608 327 235 61 31
465 How's this for karma? 1.3761 0.03534 343 247 63 33
466 Look what the cat dragged in. 1.3758 0.03587 298 208 68 22
467 Wow, can't believe Jerry made Tom his bitch 1.3758 0.03850 314 232 46 36
468 Take my picture. Let's see how PETA comes down on this one. 1.3758 0.03621 322 231 61 30
469 Turns out the humans already domesticated them 1.3757 0.03260 362 253 82 27
470 Told you if I got elected, I would reach across the aisle." 1.3754 0.03543 325 231 66 28
471 Vegans, gotta love 'em. 1.3754 0.03432 357 256 68 33
472 Look fellas, I’m just sayin’: Be the change you want to see in the world. 1.3753 0.03146 381 265 89 27
473 It's really the quickest way up the clock. 1.3750 0.03546 328 234 65 29
474 It's great until you have to get off 1.3747 0.03322 363 257 76 30
475 He's my service animal, Muriel. 1.3746 0.03526 347 251 62 34
476 Hey you two, meet Schrödinger's cat. Poor guy is a little confused. 1.3746 0.03804 307 224 51 32
477 All I had to do was promise to build a wall to keep the dogs out. 1.3743 0.03416 342 242 72 28
478 And they said nobody really owns a cat. 1.3743 0.03474 334 237 69 28
479 It worked for the GOP. 1.3742 0.03889 318 238 41 39
480 You must be Cubby & Annette ; I'm your Uber driver. 1.3742 0.03635 310 221 62 27
481 One blind cat. Let's see how he runs. 1.3742 0.03644 302 214 63 25
482 And then I thought to myself - you’re either part of the solution, or you’re part of the problem. 1.3739 0.03468 345 247 67 31
483 Remember guys, he starts to look round, bark like crazy! 1.3735 0.03529 340 245 63 32
484 He lost big in our poker game. 1.3735 0.03565 332 239 62 31
485 Look who’s blind now. 1.3735 0.03514 332 237 66 29
486 I don't know how the saddle stays on either. 1.3730 0.03361 319 220 79 20
487 I see Troy has found a new rider. What happened to that last guy? 1.3729 0.03373 362 259 71 32
488 Once the catnip wears off we're doomed! 1.3729 0.03519 354 258 60 36
489 Anybody order an uber? 1.3728 0.03593 338 246 58 34
490 Now we take on the dog. Are you with me? 1.3727 0.03580 330 238 61 31
491 “A bet is a bet--I hypnotize the cat, you guys get the cheese out of the trap.” 1.3727 0.03564 322 230 64 28
492 Yeah, you should hear her purr. 1.3725 0.03289 357 251 79 27
493 You play your cat-and-mouse games, I'll play mine. 1.3724 0.03421 341 242 71 28
494 I've always wanted to drive a Catty. 1.3723 0.03486 325 230 69 26
495 I asked for a rat, but they offered a free upgrade. 1.3722 0.03462 317 222 72 23
496 Hey look! I found one with identity issues. 1.3722 0.03316 360 255 76 29
497 We won by a whisker! 1.3721 0.03681 301 215 60 26
498 Convince 'em you're a rich celebrity, and you can do anything you want. 1.3720 0.03558 336 243 61 32
499 I fed him fake news and now he's mine. 1.3718 0.03756 312 228 52 32
500 I get about 20 miles per gallon of milk 1.3718 0.03427 347 248 69 30
501 He's giving free one-way rides. 1.3714 0.03454 350 252 66 32
502 He can’t eat what he can’t see. 1.3713 0.03496 334 239 66 29
503 Just grab 'em by the pussy! 1.3711 0.03937 318 241 36 41
504 I say one blind cat is better than three blind mice. 1.3710 0.03316 345 242 78 25
505 Don't look so surprised. You just never know what'll show up when you call for an Uber. 1.3709 0.03448 337 240 69 28
506 Trust me, it's okay. He's really just a big pussy cat. 1.3707 0.03459 321 226 71 24
507 We met on ancestry.com. 1.3707 0.03650 321 233 57 31
508 I'm a cat whisperer. 1.3707 0.03194 348 240 87 21
509 I know what you're thinking... If I were more risk-averse I'd wear a helmet! 1.3706 0.03520 313 221 68 24
510 One day I asked myself: "If Republicans can ride blue collar workers to the White House, why can't I ride a cat to the cheese shop?" 1.3706 0.03578 313 223 64 26
511 He's Cheshire. That's why I'm riding English. 1.3706 0.03451 340 243 68 29
512 As long as he keeps thinking we're auditioning for a western, I'm safe. 1.3703 0.03467 316 222 71 23
513 Apparently they'll do anything for a belly rub. 1.3701 0.03357 335 235 76 24
514 We’re gonna take another run at the farmer’s wife. 1.3701 0.03564 335 243 60 32
515 As long as the sardines last, yes. 1.3701 0.03357 335 235 76 24
516 And you should check under the hood! She just purrs! 1.3697 0.03403 357 257 68 32
517 I'll be back for you later when we need fuel. 1.3697 0.03728 330 245 48 37
518 How do you like my new Catillac? 1.3696 0.03313 349 246 77 26
519 I just kick and say kitty up 1.3696 0.03313 349 246 77 26
520 And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can anything... 1.3695 0.03614 341 251 54 36
521 The maintenance is high, but it's worth it for the looks I get. 1.3694 0.03363 314 217 78 19
522 ...but on the other hand, I had that motorcycle when I was his age. 1.3694 0.03502 333 239 65 29
523 You just look him in the eye and say, "Woof!" 1.3693 0.03837 287 208 52 27
524 So then I thought, why not? 1.3692 0.03482 325 231 68 26
525 My proposed entries for this week's New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest: "I hypnotized him. So for God's sake, nobody snap your fingers!" 1.3692 0.03917 279 203 49 27
526 No problem, she is a vegetarian. 1.3690 0.03453 336 240 68 28
527 You have to grab them by the pussy. 1.3690 0.03604 336 246 56 34
528 It really is like herding cats. 1.3690 0.03479 336 241 66 29
529 She thinks it's her idea. 1.3690 0.03249 355 249 81 25
530 Can we keeep it? 1.3687 0.03395 358 258 68 32
531 Don’t worry! He’s a vegetarian. 1.3686 0.03526 312 221 67 24
532 Yes, a sports cat may be dangerous but you can’t beat the wind in your fur. 1.3684 0.03333 342 241 76 25
533 After this lets go milk the dog. 1.3684 0.03684 323 237 53 33
534 Great mileage. But I get nervous when he says he needs to stop and 're-fuel'. 1.3684 0.03435 342 245 68 29
535 He gave me one wish before he eats me! 1.3681 0.03510 345 251 61 33
536 We're going to herd cats 1.3680 0.03290 356 252 77 27
537 All that chasing... he was really just begging to be trained. 1.3680 0.03393 337 239 72 26
538 He’s cool with it as long as I don’t run out of tuna. 1.3676 0.03397 340 242 71 27
539 With enough catnip - anything is possible. 1.3674 0.03545 313 223 65 25
540 Is this Mouse Heaven or Cat Hell? 1.3673 0.03648 324 237 55 32
541 With blinders, anything is possible in a democracy. 1.3671 0.03716 316 232 52 32
542 Grab your own pussy. 1.3670 0.03623 327 239 56 32
543 Cat told me he was taking me out to dinner. Care to join us? 1.3670 0.03465 327 233 68 26
544 No fear, he's vegan. 1.3670 0.03437 327 232 70 25
545 He knocked a piece of cheese off a trap last night and now he thinks he’s invincible. 1.3667 0.03469 330 236 67 27
546 It's on my bucket list! 1.3664 0.03290 363 259 75 29
547 Can't wait until the cat lovers see this on YouTube 1.3663 0.03467 344 249 64 31
548 This is much easier than catching the Greyhound. 1.3661 0.03476 336 242 65 29
549 This is the easy part. Getting off, however, has its risks. 1.3659 0.03483 328 235 66 27
550 It's nice to be the 1%. 1.3659 0.03509 328 236 64 28
551 Just say it's fake mews. 1.3658 0.03907 298 222 43 33
552 Turns out, we completely misjudged his intentions. 1.3655 0.03278 342 240 79 23
553 See, herding them isn't as hard as they say. 1.3654 0.03279 312 214 82 16
554 Who's the "Big Cheese" now? 1.3653 0.03575 323 234 60 29
555 Don't worry—he's vegetarian. 1.3653 0.03520 323 232 64 27
556 What makes you think it’s a trap? 1.3652 0.03428 356 259 64 33
557 This baby purrs like a, well, you know. 1.3650 0.03390 337 240 71 26
558 She's a vegan from Santa Monica. 1.3650 0.03543 337 246 59 32
559 It's fine, I have Cat-astrophic insurance. 1.3648 0.03591 307 220 62 25
560 Like my new Catillac? 1.3647 0.03343 340 241 74 25
561 Nothing to it. He’s a republican. 1.3647 0.03781 340 259 38 43
562 He's still transitioning. 1.3647 0.03392 351 253 68 30
563 Look, Secretaricat! 1.3644 0.03418 354 257 65 32
564 Not exactly what I thought Uber would send but oh well. 1.3642 0.03655 313 228 56 29
565 I just finished reading "The Power of Positive Thinking." 1.3642 0.03377 335 238 72 25
566 It’s just a metaphor. 1.3642 0.03429 335 240 68 27
567 The blinders made it receptive to alternative facts. 1.3639 0.03509 338 246 61 31
568 If a cow can jump over the moon, I figured anything was possible. 1.3636 0.03461 341 247 64 30
569 It's the newest model, the engine just purrs. 1.3634 0.03521 333 242 61 30
570 I got a 10% reduction on my insurance rates just by adding the blinders. 1.3634 0.03357 322 226 75 21
571 He’s Uber. What could go wrong? 1.3633 0.03614 311 225 59 27
572 It's really cool, that is until the catnip wears off. 1.3631 0.03199 358 252 82 24
573 We're off to herd cats. 1.3630 0.03652 303 219 58 26
574 Boys, I've successfully manipulated the food chain. 1.3628 0.03399 339 243 69 27
575 This can’t possibly end well. 1.3628 0.03450 339 245 65 29
576 Now this is how you herd cats. 1.3628 0.03506 328 237 63 28
577 My other ride is a Chihuahua. 1.3625 0.03456 320 228 68 24
578 Cowards. You’re all for revolution until it’s time for action. 1.3624 0.03331 356 256 71 29
579 Ironic, isn't it? 1.3623 0.03229 345 242 81 22
580 If you’re rich enough, you can just grab one any time you want! 1.3622 0.03447 381 285 54 42
581 We thought role-playing might help our relationship? 1.3621 0.03451 301 211 71 19
582 When you are a star, you can just grab one! 1.3621 0.03529 348 257 56 35
583 It's called domestication. 1.3620 0.03564 337 248 56 33
584 Trust me! Put fifty on Fluffy in the 4th at Belmont! 1.3620 0.03383 326 231 72 23
585 He lost a bet. 1.3617 0.03416 329 235 69 25
586 She's very reliable, but spooks easily at the sound of electric can openers! 1.3617 0.03549 329 240 59 30
587 It was on his bucket list. 1.3616 0.03324 318 222 77 19
588 It's perfectly safe- she thinks she's a horse 1.3615 0.03318 343 244 74 25
589 I really wanted the Siamese, but all I could afford was the Calico..... 1.3612 0.03182 335 232 85 18
590 One of you stand behind the finish line, the other make sure the laser pointer is at the ready. 1.3610 0.03401 349 253 66 30
591 The revolution is complete. 1.3609 0.03457 327 235 66 26
592 I'm off to go herd cats. 1.3608 0.03521 352 261 55 36
593 I told him there's a caravan of dogs coming and only I could save him. 1.3608 0.03451 352 258 61 33
594 Sometimes grabbing the pussy puts you on top. 1.3608 0.03708 316 234 50 32
595 Dismounting can be tricky. 1.3606 0.03270 330 231 79 20
596 Out of sight, out of mind. 1.3606 0.03514 330 240 61 29
597 I found that you just have to keep him focused on something other than the fact that he's a cat and I'm a mouse. 1.3606 0.03540 330 241 59 30
598 Don’t worry, this one says he’s a vegan! 1.3606 0.03514 330 240 61 29
599 I spiked the catnip. 1.3605 0.03336 344 246 72 26
600 I'm telling you, pet that spot on their back on you own them! 1.3604 0.03359 333 237 72 24
601 All I had to do was take a thorn out of his paw, and now he's mine! 1.3603 0.03268 358 256 75 27
602 Genes are not destiny. 1.3602 0.03549 322 234 60 28
603 It's a new service - much like Lyft and Uber. It's called Caxi. 1.3601 0.03519 336 246 59 31
604 Once you herd them, everything else is easy. 1.3601 0.03456 361 267 58 36
605 You can go a long way with a little bit of catnip 1.3599 0.03470 314 224 67 23
606 It's my life and my decision whether or not to wear a helmet. 1.3595 0.03479 331 240 63 28
607 They really just want discipline. 1.3593 0.03188 359 254 81 24
608 We figured we could get more views on YouTube if we joined forces. 1.3591 0.03660 298 216 57 25
609 Seriously...he has no idea. 1.3591 0.03629 298 215 59 24
610 I call it, "Tom and Jerrymandering." 1.3591 0.03691 298 217 55 26
611 quick, youtube it! 1.3590 0.03263 351 250 76 25
612 He's my emotional support animal AND a means of conveyance. 1.3589 0.03570 326 239 57 30
613 What he can't see, he can't eat. 1.3588 0.03309 340 242 74 24
614 Looks like Jimmy is taking his new Catillac out for a spin 1.3587 0.03520 329 240 60 29
615 I'm pretty sure you guys are in the placebo group 1.3586 0.03416 343 249 65 29
616 Let's ride the dog next. 1.3584 0.03496 332 242 61 29
617 They're easy to herd at an individual level 1.3584 0.03345 346 249 70 27
618 It's a much smoother ride than the dog 1.3584 0.03217 346 244 80 22
619 I've gotten him to ignore seven commands so far! 1.3583 0.03609 321 236 55 30
620 It was a bet and I won. 1.3581 0.03528 310 223 63 24
621 Guys, relax. This one’s never going to see how we run. 1.3580 0.03400 338 244 67 27
622 I used the Uber promo code. 1.3580 0.03472 352 260 58 34
623 You see, it pays to reach across the aisle. 1.3578 0.03481 327 237 63 27
624 I told him I'm Mighty Mouse and he thinks we are off to save the day 1.3578 0.03404 341 247 66 28
625 He's still afraid of the water jump. 1.3577 0.03380 355 259 65 31
626 Our mistake was trying to herd 'em! 1.3576 0.03458 330 239 64 27
627 We’ve found a way to beat the rat race. 1.3576 0.03294 330 233 76 21
628 And then it hit me ... what if it was the cat that couldn’t see ... 1.3576 0.03484 330 240 62 28
629 You should see my wife's cat. It's a Tesla! 1.3574 0.03409 333 240 67 26
630 He used to live in the White House, got out and applied for sanctuary, and will do anything to avoid being sent back. 1.3571 0.03600 322 237 55 30
631 He's taking me to Fancy Feast for dinner. 1.3571 0.03121 378 269 83 26
632 The only thing that stops a bad guy with a cat is a good guy with a cat. 1.3571 0.03513 308 221 64 23
633 If you can't beat them, domesticate them. 1.3569 0.03272 353 253 74 26
634 We're off to the dog and pony show. 1.3565 0.03375 359 263 64 32
635 It's definitely a metaphor for something. 1.3565 0.03209 359 256 78 25
636 What he doesn't see can't hurt me 1.3563 0.03279 348 249 74 25
637 The audacity of hope. 1.3562 0.03505 320 232 62 26
638 Oh don’t worry about me, he’s a vegetarian!” 1.3562 0.03498 306 219 65 22
639 Just wait till you hear this kitty purr. 1.3560 0.03340 323 229 73 21
640 It's amazing, you just scream "Lock Her UP" and stoke their fears and they will blindly go against their own best interests to serve your power. 1.3558 0.03513 326 238 60 28
641 I'm not wearing a helmet because a concussion is only the second worst case scenario" 1.3556 0.03489 329 240 61 28
642 Yeah, I worry more about dogs now. 1.3556 0.03381 329 236 69 24
643 Domestic breeds are rated safer and more economical than the imports. 1.3555 0.03240 346 246 77 23
644 Turns out herding cats is easy. 1.3553 0.03547 318 232 59 27
645 I’ve gotta go. My tabby’s here. 1.3553 0.03462 318 229 65 24
646 He signed up with Uber to earn a little extra cheese. 1.3553 0.03370 349 254 66 29
647 Don't worry - she wants to go vegan. 1.3550 0.03344 338 243 70 25
648 I know, I know, he's a Leo and I'm a Taurus but we make it work. 1.3550 0.03344 338 243 70 25
649 Look at the asshole on that cat. 1.3549 0.03515 355 266 52 37
650 I found incriminating pictures on the internet! 1.3548 0.03434 310 221 68 21
651 I'm ok as long as I don't squeak. 1.3546 0.03500 313 226 63 24
652 He says one more ride, then it's lunchtime. 1.3544 0.03618 316 233 54 29
653 Riding is the easy part. It's putting on the harness that's tricky. 1.3544 0.03268 316 221 78 17
654 I know it’s dangerous but you have to admit, it looks badass to ride one 1.3540 0.03402 322 231 68 23
655 We're off to make a cute cat video on Youtube. 1.3540 0.03257 339 241 76 22
656 And this, my friends, is the Art of the Deal. 1.3539 0.03297 356 258 70 28
657 This is how I'll win the rat race. 1.3538 0.03367 342 248 67 27
658 The all new 2019 Catillac 1.3537 0.03687 311 231 50 30
659 key is to remain downwind 1.3536 0.03191 345 244 80 21
660 Just set your Uber settings to “vegan” and you’ll be fine. 1.3536 0.03518 345 257 54 34
661 Now we disarm the traps. 1.3535 0.03364 331 238 69 24
662 I've got to see a man about a horse. 1.3534 0.03198 348 247 79 22
663 Long story short, I convinced him to go vegan. 1.3533 0.03234 334 236 78 20
664 Well look what the cat dragged in 1.3533 0.03426 351 259 60 32
665 The immediate problem is what do I feed him. 1.3531 0.03242 337 239 77 21
666 We're going on a cheese run. Any requests? 1.3531 0.03309 354 257 69 28
667 This is easy. It’s the mounting and dismounting that’s scary. 1.3529 0.03365 323 231 70 22
668 He told me to just sit on his back and he’d take me to a huge amount of cheese. 1.3529 0.03407 357 264 60 33
669 I suppose I'm putting the cat before the horse 1.3528 0.03384 343 250 65 28
670 First, The Cats, then The Cheese, then...The World. 1.3528 0.03559 309 225 59 25
671 It's my new Attorney General ! 1.3526 0.03459 329 240 62 27
672 It's like the Republican idea of bipartisanship. 1.3526 0.03616 329 246 50 33
673 He asked that foreign hairdresser to put a little mousse on his back." 1.3524 0.03510 349 261 53 35
674 I took a thorn out of its foot. 1.3524 0.03541 332 246 55 31
675 What, cat got your tongue? 1.3524 0.03596 315 232 55 28
676 Guess what? You CAN teach an old cat new tricks. 1.3524 0.03481 315 228 63 24
677 Wish me luck, I am off to win the rat race 1.3524 0.03568 315 231 57 27
678 I control the catnip.... 1.3522 0.03458 318 230 64 24
679 He is not happy about losing that bet 1.3520 0.03154 375 270 78 27
680 Catnip is a hell of a drug. 1.3518 0.03309 361 264 67 30
681 What's wrong? Cat got your tongues? 1.3517 0.03350 344 250 67 27
682 That old saying about herding cats—it’s so not true. 1.3517 0.03363 327 235 69 23
683 Anyone wanna try? The catnip will wear off soon. 1.3515 0.03396 330 239 66 25
684 I was going to train a dog, but I decided to challenge myself. 1.3514 0.03541 296 213 62 21
685 It took me a while to get him mouse broken. The blinkers helped. 1.3514 0.03454 333 244 61 28
686 The hardest part was finding a cat that thought he was a horse 1.3507 0.03240 345 247 75 23
687 I told him I was heir to the catnip fortune 1.3507 0.03392 345 253 63 29
688 You have no idea how much you can learn about cats on YouTube. 1.3505 0.03278 331 236 74 21
689 Emissions? Kinda fishy... 1.3503 0.03339 334 241 69 24
690 If you raise them from a kitten, anything is possible! 1.3503 0.03232 354 255 74 25
691 Well as you can see, he was no good at catching mice 1.3500 0.03350 340 247 67 26
692 Getting on and off is the tricky bit. 1.3498 0.03303 323 230 73 20
693 Once I got him on catnip, the rest was easy. 1.3498 0.03332 323 231 71 21
694 Cats were our best friends before fake news. 1.3498 0.03555 323 239 55 29
695 When you stop believing stereotypes anything is possible... 1.3498 0.03581 283 203 61 19
696 Once they get over the humiliation, they're pussycats. 1.3497 0.03309 346 251 69 26
697 My Siamese is at the vet! 1.3497 0.03359 346 253 65 28
698 B.F. Skinner would be very proud of me. 1.3496 0.03264 349 252 72 25
699 Don't expect me back soon. After I'm done exercising the cat, I have to feed the snake and sharpen the farm wife's carving knives. 1.3496 0.03363 349 256 64 29
700 A little weed works wonders. 1.3495 0.03584 309 227 56 26
701 It's ok—his owner raised him a vegan. 1.3494 0.03729 312 235 45 32
702 I told him the dog's my uncle. 1.3493 0.03437 335 246 61 28
703 He's already lost all credibility in the cat world. 1.3492 0.03563 315 232 56 27
704 I was listening to an NPR story on How to Train Your Cat and said 'why not?' 1.3491 0.03491 338 251 56 31
705 Turns out you just have to scratch their bellies. 1.3490 0.03183 341 242 79 20
706 It's amazing what speed-dating can lead to 1.3488 0.03372 344 252 64 28
707 It was easy, I just followed Putin's steps on "How To Control Trump", and it works on cats too!" 1.3488 0.03495 344 257 54 33
708 If he doesn't eat me, I'll rate him 5 stars. 1.3487 0.03400 347 256 61 30
709 10 miles per mouse and purrs like a kitten. 1.3486 0.03359 370 276 59 35
710 Hey ladies, check out my new Catillac. 1.3485 0.03551 330 246 53 31
711 I thought you were getting him a bike for Christmas. 1.3484 0.03334 353 259 65 29
712 Once the catnip wears off, it will be one wild ride 1.3482 0.03323 336 243 69 24
713 We just needed to overturn the dominant cultural paradigm. 1.3482 0.03479 336 249 57 30
714 Taming by the shrew. 1.3481 0.03328 339 246 68 25
715 it's the ability to tame and train the beasts that separates us from the animals 1.3478 0.03365 322 232 68 22
716 Our safe word is tangerine. 1.3478 0.03388 345 254 62 29
717 With enough catnip you can make them do anything. 1.3476 0.03248 351 254 72 25
718 Why should we always be the blind ones? 1.3475 0.03302 354 259 67 28
719 Choose your irony 1.3474 0.03410 331 242 63 26
720 They become real pussycats once you break them. 1.3473 0.03506 311 227 60 24
721 Sure, the squeaky blinders, all-season paws, and catnip-free fuel all ensure that he handles like a dream, but the heated seat alone is to DIE for. 1.3471 0.03511 314 230 59 25
722 It's called Upurr. 1.3471 0.03346 340 248 66 26
723 "It's shaved 30 minutes off my daily commute. 1.3470 0.03341 317 227 70 20
724 What he doesn’t know won’t hurt me. 1.3470 0.03487 317 232 60 25
725 Worried? Are you kidding? Listen, I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue... 1.3469 0.03492 320 235 59 26
726 All I got to do is stay on for 8 seconds and I win. 1.3469 0.03349 320 230 69 21
727 Alright, kittyup. 1.3466 0.03306 326 234 71 21
728 When you're a star, you can do anything. 1.3465 0.03445 303 218 65 20
729 It is a dangerous job, herding cats. 1.3463 0.03490 309 225 61 23
730 Since he's famous, Mickey just walks right up and grabs 'em. When you're a star, they let you do it. 1.3462 0.03537 338 254 51 33
731 Dont get off toward the front. 1.3460 0.03414 341 252 60 29
732 All fun and games until it decides to climb the drapes! 1.3456 0.03355 353 261 62 30
733 He's pussy-whipped. 1.3456 0.03518 327 243 55 29
734 They are paying me $20 to take part in this lab study. You should sign up too. 1.3455 0.03310 356 262 65 29
735 The rodeo starts when I pull off the blinders.” 1.3455 0.03442 330 243 60 27
736 This is how you grab 'em by the pussy. 1.3453 0.03575 333 251 49 33
737 Maybe they can't be herded, but they CAN be broken. 1.3450 0.03367 313 225 68 20
738 It's a paradigm shift in the game of cat and mouse! 1.3450 0.03406 342 253 60 29
739 This is easy! The hard part was getting the blinders on. 1.3449 0.03334 345 253 65 27
740 I called Uber and this is what I got. 1.3448 0.03525 319 236 56 27
741 The newest model is able to wash itself. 1.3448 0.03238 348 252 72 24
742 I wanted this ride in black but the dealer said it was unlucky. 1.3448 0.03582 290 211 58 21
743 The ride is great, but a "flying dismount" is less for show than for survival. 1.3447 0.03556 322 240 53 29
744 We're off to herd some cats! 1.3446 0.03559 325 243 52 30
745 It has a low safety rating, but this baby goes from 0 to 60 in two seconds. 1.3444 0.03406 331 243 62 26
746 It's a cliche for a reason - keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 1.3441 0.03411 311 225 65 21
747 Blinders AND catnip. 1.3439 0.03266 314 223 74 17
748 So far we've knocked over 3 wine glasses and 2 Christmas trees. 1.3439 0.03478 314 230 60 24
749 She is a nice ride until she gets hungry. 1.3438 0.03488 320 236 58 26
750 So let's reach across the aisle just this once--what's the worst that can happen? 1.3437 0.03409 323 236 63 24
751 It’s easy! You just tell them you can make America great again! 1.3436 0.03629 326 247 46 33
752 It was her idea. She wants to be a YouTube star. 1.3434 0.03371 332 243 64 25
753 It's the logical conclusion of the #MeowToo movement. 1.3432 0.03656 303 226 50 27
754 Apparently, it's been a false narrative all along. 1.3430 0.03516 309 227 58 24
755 He's high on catnip. 1.3429 0.03372 312 225 67 20
756 Your Uber driver is here! 1.3429 0.03242 347 252 71 24
757 When I want an adrenaline rush, I take the blinders off. 1.3429 0.03497 315 232 58 25
758 Does a rat on a cat trump a cat in the hat? 1.3427 0.03507 321 238 56 27
759 It's amazing what reins, blinders, and heavy sedatives did for our relationship. 1.3425 0.03220 362 265 70 27
760 On a lark, I searched "kitty blinders" on Amazon. 1.3425 0.03433 327 241 60 26
761 I had to learn how to whisper without squeaking 1.3425 0.03378 327 239 64 24
762 ...and it's eco friendly; runs on catnip. 1.3423 0.03341 336 246 65 25
763 Amish barn cat. 1.3423 0.03394 336 248 61 27
764 This ain't my first rodeo. 1.3423 0.03260 336 243 71 22
765 I know, but if he sees a bird he goes nuts. 1.3422 0.03267 339 246 70 23
766 Don't you just love the purr of a new engine? 1.3421 0.03167 342 245 77 20
767 The trick is to keep your back straight 1.3419 0.03164 351 253 76 22
768 Remember, NEVER try this without the blinders. 1.3419 0.03512 313 231 57 25
769 It's nice that cats can be service animals now, too. 1.3418 0.03488 316 233 58 25
770 He seems nice enough but I'm a little afraid to get off. 1.3418 0.03341 316 228 68 20
771 Found the catnip. 1.3417 0.03289 319 229 71 19
772 I told him he could eat both of you for giving me a ride! 1.3416 0.03306 363 270 62 31
773 He turned out to be a real pussycat. 1.3415 0.03189 325 231 77 17
774 Schrodinger's cat is a safe ride-sharing experiment, until he's not. 1.3415 0.03399 366 277 53 36
775 Whiskers knew the mice were taking advantage of him, but he couldn't shake his dream of running in the Kentucky Derby. 1.3415 0.03451 328 243 58 27
776 It's a mouse-and-cat game. 1.3415 0.03397 328 241 62 25
777 I told him I'd build a wall against invading dogs and now he'll do anything for me. 1.3415 0.03424 328 242 60 26
778 Safer than an Uber! 1.3414 0.03375 331 243 63 25
779 He won't be able to see how we run. 1.3410 0.03576 305 226 54 25
780 The blinders are critical. 1.3410 0.03201 349 253 73 23
781 He thinks he's a horse, but I'm not questioning it. 1.3409 0.03398 308 223 65 20
782 You wouldn't imagine how much trouble it was to find a saddle my size. 1.3409 0.03207 352 256 72 24
783 Just download TabbyCabby. It's an app! 1.3408 0.03335 355 264 61 30
784 We bet on the midterm elections. 1.3407 0.03564 317 237 52 28
785 He's actually just a big pussy. 1.3406 0.03310 320 231 69 20
786 Canned food twice a day and an airtight no-neuter agreement. It’s a win-win! 1.3406 0.03512 320 238 55 27
787 You call Uber 1.3406 0.03376 323 236 64 23
788 It makes for a better ride if they're vegan. 1.3405 0.03465 326 242 57 27
789 See? They just need clear boundaries! 1.3405 0.03354 326 238 65 23
790 What's a matter? Cat got your tongue? 1.3405 0.03298 326 236 69 21
791 Hard to handle? Once you get him going he purrs right along. 1.3404 0.03312 332 242 67 23
792 Yes -- THAT rich. 1.3403 0.03345 335 246 64 25
793 First I sweet talk 'em, then slip the blinders on. Learned the technique watching Trump rallies. 1.3402 0.03579 338 258 45 35
794 When I get off, all hell breaks loose! 1.3401 0.03385 344 256 59 29
795 Dip the bit in catnip and he will put the bridle on himself. 1.3399 0.03299 353 261 64 28
796 Wanna share an Upurr? 1.3399 0.03566 306 227 54 25
797 It's after midnight. Don't tell him that he's not a horse and I'm not Cinderella. 1.3398 0.03354 359 269 58 32
798 The Doberman owed me a favor. 1.3396 0.03234 374 278 65 31
799 We’re going to visit the queen! 1.3396 0.03446 321 237 59 25
800 Getting on and off is the only tricky part 1.3396 0.03242 321 230 73 18
801 Relax, we’re professional lab mice, and this is Pavlov’s cat. It’s a single blind, controlled experiment... 1.3394 0.03487 330 247 54 29
802 Our mothers were very close. 1.3391 0.03377 345 257 59 29
803 One blind cat sure beats the heck out of three blind mice. 1.3391 0.03326 345 255 63 27
804 My therapist suggested exposure therapy. 1.3391 0.03306 348 257 64 27
805 The elephant was too skittish. 1.3390 0.03431 351 265 53 33
806 It's "Giddy-up" and "Whoa", just like the dog. 1.3389 0.03506 298 218 59 21
807 My blind date's taking me to dinner! 1.3387 0.03411 310 226 63 21
808 Now who’s the blind one? 1.3386 0.03488 319 237 56 26
809 They finally domesticated cats. 1.3386 0.03488 319 237 56 26
810 We finally took back the House! 1.3383 0.03507 334 252 51 31
811 Irony aside, these things handle amazingly well. 1.3382 0.03182 343 248 74 21
812 Guess I'm the cat's meow. 1.3382 0.03216 346 252 71 23
813 Check this out! I gave him an Ambien! 1.3382 0.03343 346 257 61 28
814 Oh, I guess he's taking the FE-line. 1.3375 0.03416 317 233 61 23
815 Lucky for me, this is his fetish. 1.3375 0.03445 317 234 59 24
816 Hop on, we're meeting his family for lunch 1.3375 0.03511 323 242 53 28
817 How long before you think we'll hear from PETA? 1.3375 0.03428 323 239 59 25
818 Catnip is the great equalizer. 1.3374 0.03235 326 235 72 19
819 Community service! 1.3374 0.03321 326 238 66 22
820 I know what you're thinking, but with Uber and Lyft jacking up their prices I'm willing to risk it. 1.3374 0.03293 326 237 68 21
821 Secretaricat 1.3374 0.03272 329 239 69 21
822 Beats scampering. 1.3373 0.03416 332 247 58 27
823 The saddle was relatively easy. It was getting the blinders on that got Mickey. 1.3373 0.03416 332 247 58 27
824 Now THIS is what I call playing cat & mouse! 1.3373 0.03389 332 246 60 26
825 I heard those things are real death traps. 1.3373 0.03287 335 245 67 23
826 Don't worry...it's not Uber Eats 1.3373 0.03424 338 253 56 29
827 What it can't see won't kill me. 1.3371 0.03093 353 254 79 20
828 Those self-help seminars are wildly effective. 1.3369 0.03737 279 208 48 23
829 I call him Secritaricat. 1.3366 0.03561 306 228 53 25
830 I love typos. They tried to order a house cat. 1.3365 0.03459 315 233 58 24
831 That stuff you've read about cats and mice is fake news. 1.3364 0.03297 321 233 68 20
832 Well, I’m off to my high school reunion! 1.3363 0.03563 333 254 46 33
833 I have harnessed the ability to pussyfoot. 1.3363 0.03460 333 250 54 29
834 He's undergoing a mid-nine lives crisis. 1.3363 0.03239 342 250 69 23
835 Hello ladies 1.3362 0.03352 348 260 59 29
836 It's not a house cat, it's a mouse cat. 1.3362 0.03112 354 256 77 21
837 I let the cat out of the bag and here I am! 1.3362 0.03262 354 262 65 27
838 Once you break them, they purr like a kitten. 1.3361 0.03229 363 269 66 28
839 You know, just because we're blind doesn't mean we can't ride horses. 1.3355 0.03576 304 227 52 25
840 On the Intercat, nobody knows you're a mouse 1.3355 0.03726 307 235 41 31
841 I’ll be back when she decides it’s time. 1.3354 0.03620 316 240 46 30
842 Can I keep him? 1.3354 0.03369 319 234 63 22
843 We're going to chase the farmer's wife. 1.3354 0.03376 322 237 62 23
844 you just need to project an air of supreme confidence 1.3354 0.03347 322 236 64 22
845 This is English, but I can also ride Western. 1.3354 0.03404 322 238 60 24
846 I called Uber and this is what they sent. 1.3353 0.03500 331 250 51 30
847 The hard part is getting on. 1.3353 0.03256 331 241 69 21
848 Look what the cat dragged in boys. Me. 1.3353 0.03243 337 246 69 22
849 Enjoying my last wish 1.3353 0.03270 337 247 67 23
850 All you have to do is download the app. 1.3353 0.03303 340 251 64 25
851 We’ll be back when he’s hungry. 1.3353 0.03532 340 260 46 34
852 Now it’s truly the blind leading the blind. 1.3353 0.03410 343 258 55 30
853 UBER and PETA settled out of court ... get on! 1.3352 0.03249 352 260 66 26
854 You guys want anything from the kitchen? 1.3344 0.03685 305 232 44 29
855 I'm going to see how he runs. See how he runs. 1.3344 0.03366 311 227 64 20
856 The only problem is getting off. 1.3344 0.03261 317 229 70 18
857 Nah, it was easy. They keep the Prozac right next to the catnip. 1.3344 0.03417 320 237 59 24
858 With the right accessories, herding cats really isn't that difficult. 1.3344 0.03330 320 234 65 21
859 You just lead it where it wants to go. 1.3344 0.03479 323 242 54 27
860 Hardest part is putting the blinders on. 1.3344 0.03395 323 239 60 24
861 And you laughed at me when I signed up for hypnosis in college. 1.3344 0.03288 326 238 67 21
862 And I asked, "why not?" 1.3343 0.03379 329 244 60 25
863 You guys get back to the stable. Those litter boxes aren't going to clean themselves. 1.3343 0.03342 338 251 61 26
864 It's not like I'm trying to herd a bunch of them. 1.3343 0.03235 338 247 69 22
865 The only way to free yourself is to take control of your fear. 1.3343 0.03269 341 251 66 24
866 Did either of you order an Uber? 1.3343 0.03301 344 255 63 26
867 I figure this experiment will be a lot more fun than the ones we usually face in the lab. 1.3343 0.03223 344 252 69 23
868 Watch and learn boys. 1.3343 0.03191 353 259 70 24
869 We got tried of the rat race. 1.3343 0.03271 356 265 63 28
870 It has 300 horsepurr. 1.3343 0.03326 362 273 57 32
871 She's perfect safe. Just listen to that engine purr! 1.3333 0.03410 309 227 61 21
872 One blind cat is better than Three Blind Mice! 1.3333 0.03267 345 255 65 25
873 It's just like riding a carnivorous bicycle 1.3333 0.03261 342 252 66 24
874 OK, fetch the laser pointer. 1.3333 0.03253 351 260 65 26
875 If I weren't a cartoon this would probably kill me. 1.3333 0.03474 327 246 53 28
876 This only works when they're on their ninth life. 1.3333 0.03575 300 224 52 24
877 It was a bet. She had the Dodgers in seven. 1.3333 0.03420 327 244 57 26
878 On a cat with blinders, no one knows you're a mouse. 1.3333 0.03220 309 221 73 15
879 The blinders help. She thinks I'm a chihuahua. 1.3333 0.03118 369 271 73 25
880 No worries! He was rated four stars on Uber! 1.3333 0.03258 354 263 64 27
881 Dog and pony has nothing on us. 1.3324 0.03364 349 263 56 30
882 All that time running, and it turned out he was the one who wanted to be caught! 1.3324 0.03310 346 258 61 27
883 Well, I'm off to the birds of prey convention. 1.3324 0.03226 343 252 68 23
884 The only difference is I say "Kitty Up!" instead of "Giddy Up." 1.3324 0.03081 340 244 79 17
885 Craig's parents knew they'd never see him again once his uber arrived. 1.3323 0.03320 337 250 62 25
886 What they don’t see can’t hurt you. 1.3323 0.03223 331 241 70 20
887 Only seems crazy until you do it. 1.3323 0.03214 328 238 71 19
888 I told him he'd go viral. 1.3323 0.03405 325 242 58 25
889 And he thought we were blind! 1.3323 0.03386 316 233 61 22
890 ...except in this case, if you don't get right back in the saddle, you get eaten !' 1.3323 0.03317 313 228 66 19
891 He gets more pussy than any mouse I’ve ever seen 1.3323 0.03779 313 244 34 35
892 I'm handling the 'cat's away' part... 1.3323 0.03401 310 228 61 21
893 I finally have an edge in the rat race. 1.3322 0.03546 307 230 52 25
894 Yeah, payback's a bitch. 1.3322 0.03540 304 227 53 24
895 I told him we had a compromising litterbox video. 1.3322 0.03495 298 220 57 21
896 Amazing what you can accomplish with catnip and a little positive reinforcement. 1.3315 0.03168 368 273 68 27
897 Really, they're not that bad, once you've domesticated them. 1.3314 0.03058 353 255 79 19
898 Judge me all you want, but the mileage on this thing is incredible. 1.3314 0.03245 344 254 66 24
899 Just call me "the Cat Whisperer" 1.3314 0.03390 338 254 56 28
900 Just try to stay in his blind spots! 1.3313 0.03167 335 243 73 19
901 It’s quite safe. He’s catatonic. 1.3313 0.03081 335 240 79 16
902 The odds of getting in a car crash are way higher 1.3313 0.03291 329 242 65 22
903 C’mon, it’s just like riding your greatest fear. 1.3313 0.03402 329 246 57 26
904 Be careful, he can't see me, but he can see you... 1.3313 0.03369 326 242 60 24
905 He didn't go into specifics but the dealer assured me it runs on organic fuel that's abundant in our community. 1.3313 0.03312 326 240 64 22
906 Isn't this the cat's meow? 1.3313 0.03333 323 238 63 22
907 That Tony Robbins seminar was totally life changing. 1.3313 0.03553 320 243 48 29
908 He was just about to eat me, and we got to talking, and before we knew it, we realized that we both shared a keen interest in Equestrianism! 1.3313 0.03296 320 234 66 20
909 What? I found these in Sessions' office after he left. Guess he didn't need them anymore. 1.3312 0.03429 314 233 58 23
910 When you're a star you can do anything..he just walked right up and grabbed it! 1.3312 0.03714 314 243 38 33
911 Gotta face your fears, man. 1.3306 0.03093 360 263 75 22
912 Staying on the saddle is easy. Getting the blinders on was the hard part. 1.3304 0.03203 342 251 69 22
913 I bet Geico doesn't cover that... 1.3304 0.03458 339 258 50 31
914 Herding cats isn’t so difficult if you have the right mount. 1.3303 0.03262 333 245 66 22
915 Dismounting is going to be the tricky part. 1.3303 0.03121 333 240 76 17
916 After six long years we finally took back the house. 1.3303 0.03415 327 245 56 26
917 It works better when we aren't the blind ones. 1.3303 0.03415 327 245 56 26
918 The blind leading the blind 1.3302 0.03438 324 243 55 26
919 They call him The Cat Whisperer. 1.3302 0.03353 324 240 61 23
920 Therapy's really helping me take control of my felines. 1.3302 0.03488 321 242 52 27
921 They are nowhere near as smart as you would think. 1.3302 0.03317 321 236 64 21
922 Did you call for an uber? 1.3301 0.03459 306 227 57 22
923 "On the advice of our therapist, we negotiated our boundaries." 1.3300 0.03289 303 219 68 16
924 It isn't cruel - they like to work! 1.3295 0.03311 349 262 59 28
925 He's cool. He just ate a canary. 1.3294 0.03123 337 244 75 18
926 You said get some pussy. 1.3293 0.03543 331 254 45 32
927 Only drawback is you have to keep it pointed upwind. 1.3293 0.03351 328 244 60 24
928 It's a Purrus 1.3292 0.03401 325 243 57 25
929 The biggest problem was getting it to eat hay. 1.3292 0.03451 322 242 54 26
930 I just want to say one word to you. Catnip. 1.3292 0.03359 319 236 61 22
931 Actually, it's quite easy once you get the catnip dosage right. 1.3291 0.03433 313 233 57 23
932 I know a guy. 1.3290 0.03302 310 226 66 18
933 I know the saddle is superfluous, but it does add to the humiliation. 1.3286 0.03278 350 262 61 27
934 We're cartoon mice, we always win over symbolic oppression. 1.3285 0.03343 344 259 57 28
935 How do you like my new catillac boys? 1.3284 0.03226 338 249 67 22
936 They're the best. I've passed 3 dogs, 2 cat toys and a cucumber. Not even a twitch. 1.3284 0.03105 335 242 76 17
937 You gotta love this Virtual Reality stuff! 1.3284 0.03327 335 250 60 25
938 He wanted a pony but his mom said no. 1.3284 0.03327 335 250 60 25
939 All I can say is "Kittyup!"| 1.3283 0.03402 332 250 55 27
940 Guess what she uses for fuel guys? 1.3282 0.03392 326 244 57 25
941 Doesn't respond to a damned thing, actually. But this beats getting eaten. 1.3282 0.03307 326 241 63 22
942 It's the new self-cleaning model. 1.3282 0.03307 326 241 63 22
943 Actually, it's a great job.... My only fears are (1) Uber switching to driverless cats and (2) his meds wearing off before my shift is over. 1.3282 0.03442 323 243 54 26
944 and he thought we three were blind 1.3281 0.03430 317 237 56 24
945 Hope nobody has a laser pointer handy 1.3280 0.03512 314 237 51 26
946 And you thought hypnosis was a sham. 1.3279 0.03282 308 224 67 17
947 Uber! Who knew? 1.3279 0.03470 308 230 55 23
948 The didn't want a dog and pony show. 1.3278 0.03729 299 230 40 29
949 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 1.3277 0.03081 357 261 75 21
950 He handles much better than my dog. 1.3277 0.03337 296 215 65 16
951 Want to take a spin on my Mouserati? 1.3273 0.03340 333 249 59 25
952 All you need is a dream in your heart, the determination to pursue your passion and some super glue. 1.3273 0.03164 330 240 72 18
953 We're going out for dinner. 1.3272 0.03433 324 244 54 26
954 No worries, I’m a cat whisperer. 1.3270 0.03243 318 232 68 18
955 They don't call me the cat whisperer for nothing. 1.3270 0.03294 315 231 65 19
956 No eye contact is the key 1.3269 0.02913 364 261 87 16
957 But you can herd WITH a cat. 1.3269 0.03337 309 227 63 19
958 This guy is a total pussy 1.3266 0.03224 346 257 65 24
959 She wonders if you'd like to come for dinner! 1.3265 0.03164 343 252 70 21
960 It will be OK until I run out of sushi-grade tuna. 1.3265 0.03191 343 253 68 22
961 It's legal here now. Just make sure you buy Fancy Feast, cannabis flavor. 1.3262 0.03429 328 248 53 27
962 When I rev her up, she purrs like a kitten." 1.3262 0.03401 328 247 55 26
963 I convinced him my name is "Curiosity." 1.3262 0.03396 325 244 56 25
964 Sidesaddle? Nah, that would look ridiculous. 1.3260 0.03469 319 241 52 26
965 Getting on is easy; getting off is the hard part. 1.3260 0.03124 362 268 70 24
966 I just gave him catnip. This was HIS idea. 1.3259 0.03493 316 239 51 26
967 I suggest you stay away from my cheese. 1.3259 0.03521 316 240 49 27
968 First prize, as you all know, is a Catillac. 1.3258 0.03234 356 267 62 27
969 Total pussy. 1.3258 0.03179 353 262 67 24
970 We lost the first four prototype mice, then we put the blinders on. 1.3258 0.03204 353 263 65 25
971 You say 'mixed-breed' - I say 'hybrid." 1.3256 0.03296 301 219 66 16
972 The hypnotist course paid off 1.3255 0.03229 341 253 65 23
973 Bet all the cheese. 1.3252 0.03447 329 250 51 28
974 I tamed my fear. 1.3252 0.03420 329 249 53 27
975 Once you get to know him, he's just a big pussy cat. 1.3252 0.03245 326 240 66 20
976 Uber for mice 1.3251 0.03574 323 249 43 31
977 We're going to have fun with the dog! 1.3250 0.03345 320 238 60 22
978 Now that she has been stuffed, I am living my fantasy. 1.3249 0.03337 317 235 61 21
979 He only offers one-way trips, but the price is unbeatable. 1.3246 0.03201 345 256 66 23
980 Until recently I never appreciated how important peripheral vision is. 1.3245 0.03103 339 247 74 18
981 I know I look awesome but he’s stuffed 1.3245 0.03267 339 253 62 24
982 It's so he can't see the dogs. 1.3244 0.03341 336 253 57 26
983 It beats herding them! 1.3243 0.03308 333 249 60 24
984 You guys want to come over and watch me feed him? 1.3241 0.03200 361 271 63 27
985 And I get great meowlage! 1.3241 0.03167 324 236 71 17
986 Jerry and I have been going to couples counseling. 1.3240 0.03574 287 215 51 21
987 Like the new ride? You should hear it's purr. 1.3240 0.03394 321 241 56 24
988 He was tired of the old cat and mouse game, so we're trying something new. 1.3240 0.03422 321 242 54 25
989 And you guys said that hypnotism class was a waste of time. 1.3239 0.03188 355 265 65 25
990 The blinders option was highly recommended. 1.3239 0.03502 318 242 49 27
991 I’m sort of a thrill junkie. 1.3238 0.03289 315 232 64 19
992 They threw in the side blinders with the 9-lives warranty 1.3238 0.03439 315 237 54 24
993 And the best part is, I've got him thinking we're making America great again! 1.3237 0.03397 346 265 50 31
994 He said it would be the ride to end all rides! And it's free! 1.3236 0.03291 343 258 59 26
995 When it's time for us to come back, just open a can of something. 1.3236 0.03159 343 253 69 21
996 Evolve. 1.3234 0.03279 337 252 61 24
997 So. What do you think of the new world order? 1.3234 0.03189 334 246 68 20
998 This one gets 10 blocks on one bowl of food. 1.3234 0.03103 334 243 74 17
999 It's amazing what LSD mixed with catnip can do! 1.3232 0.03095 362 268 71 23
1000 I got a book on hypnosis from Amazon; until some idiot snaps his fingers, she’s Sea Biscuit, and we’re in training for the Kentucky Derby. 1.3231 0.03187 359 269 64 26
1001 Hey, when you're a star, they'll let you do anything! 1.3231 0.03555 325 251 43 31
1002 Karma 1.3231 0.03277 325 241 63 21
1003 He thinks I'm a kitten 1.3229 0.03274 353 267 58 28
1004 I'd give you guys a lift, but my ride says he only wants to have dinner with me. 1.3229 0.03224 353 265 62 26
1005 Yes, he's house broken. We're on our way to the litter box. 1.3229 0.03319 319 237 61 21
1006 I call it a Catillac by General Meowtors. 1.3228 0.03573 316 243 44 29
1007 Who’s blind now?! 1.3227 0.03257 344 258 61 25
1008 As long as I don't squeak, I'm fine. 1.3227 0.03178 344 255 67 22
1009 Can we keep him if I promise to clean up after him and feed him? 1.3226 0.03277 341 256 60 25
1010 He's terrified of curiosity. 1.3224 0.03152 335 246 70 19
1011 I guess it's probably safer than that Ford Pinto he was driving around for a while. 1.3221 0.03326 326 244 59 23
1012 Who knew? 1.3221 0.03354 326 245 57 24
1013 Which room doesn't have a mirror? 1.3220 0.03166 354 264 66 24
1014 "It's amazing what you can do if you show no fear." 1.3220 0.03200 323 237 68 18
1015 Boys, wish me luck! On my way to meet with the Farmer's wife. 1.3219 0.03236 351 264 61 26
1016 Still think motivational posters are stupid? 1.3217 0.03383 314 235 57 22
1017 Getting the blinders on is the hardest part. 1.3215 0.03375 311 232 58 21
1018 I don't really want her to see how we run... 1.3215 0.03436 311 234 54 23
1019 Did you ever see such a sight in your life as one blind cat? 1.3215 0.03345 311 231 60 20
1020 It's more of a mouse-and-cat game now. 1.3214 0.03031 364 268 75 21
1021 Uber for Sebastian? 1.3214 0.03389 336 256 52 28
1022 They're more afraid of us than we are of them 1.3213 0.03047 333 241 77 15
1023 Trust me, guys. This is how they did it on YouTube. 1.3212 0.03165 358 268 65 25
1024 i'm going into town, need anything? 1.3211 0.03289 327 244 61 22
1025 Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? 1.3210 0.03367 324 244 56 24
1026 It'll be ok, just don't get ahead of me. 1.3209 0.03170 349 260 66 23
1027 I found her on Craigslist." 1.3209 0.03212 321 236 67 18
1028 We’re into bondage, leather, and the occasional hairball. 1.3208 0.03469 318 242 50 26
1029 He moved my cheese, so I removed his sense of dominance. 1.3208 0.03352 318 238 58 22
1030 It beats taking the subway. 1.3207 0.03072 343 251 74 18
1031 Never seen an Uber cat? 1.3207 0.03154 343 254 68 21
1032 He's the cat whisperer. 1.3206 0.03227 340 254 63 23
1033 I told you he was domesticated. 1.3206 0.03307 340 257 57 26
1034 I broke his spirit the same way Trump broke the Republican Party. 1.3205 0.03574 312 240 44 28
1035 It's a start-up! 1.3205 0.03220 337 251 64 22
1036 We got bored with playing cat and mouse. 1.3205 0.03164 337 249 68 20
1037 The hardest part was getting him to switch to oats. 1.3204 0.03140 362 271 66 25
1038 In the end, it just took some belly rubs and letting her sleep on the windowsill. 1.3204 0.03295 334 251 59 24
1039 I don't know Jerry, this seems like a bad idea. Not even the humans have successfully tamed that beast. 1.3203 0.03535 306 233 48 25
1040 Just don't ask me what he eats. 1.3202 0.03315 331 249 58 24
1041 This could be a paradigm shift in the cat and mouse game 1.3202 0.03260 331 247 62 22
1042 With a bit of devisive rhetoric, I demonized the dog and we're on the same side now. 1.3201 0.03403 303 226 57 20
1043 Who’s not seeing how we run now? 1.3201 0.03364 328 248 55 25
1044 It's the best way to win the rat race. 1.3200 0.03550 325 252 42 31
1045 We just simply believe that our friendship transcends history 1.3200 0.03386 325 246 54 25
1046 We're finalists in the Cat and Mouse Games. 1.3199 0.03207 347 260 63 24
1047 He lost his bet on the midterms. 1.3199 0.03457 347 270 43 34
1048 Who says you can't teach an old cat new tricks? 1.3198 0.03253 344 259 60 25
1049 For some reason I just don’t trust Uber. 1.3197 0.03571 319 247 42 30
1050 Don't act like you can't SEE this! 1.3196 0.03365 316 237 57 22
1051 It's carbon neutral. 1.3195 0.03239 338 253 62 23
1052 I also turned him into a vegetarian. 1.3195 0.03129 338 249 70 19
1053 Three mice on a blind cat - what a great selfie! 1.3195 0.03447 313 237 52 24
1054 See? I told you guys it's nurture, not nature. 1.3194 0.03061 335 244 75 16
1055 Put $2 on Catbiscuit in the 4th. 1.3192 0.03464 307 232 52 23
1056 No playing while I'm away. 1.3192 0.03162 354 265 65 24
1057 He's really just a big pussycat. 1.3192 0.03111 354 263 69 22
1058 That was easy, he's watching Fox News 1.3191 0.03281 351 267 56 28
1059 That which does not kill me makes me stronger. 1.3190 0.03115 326 238 72 16
1060 Who says cats can't be trained. 1.3189 0.03284 323 241 61 21
1061 When I pull the blinders, run like hell! 1.3189 0.03313 323 242 59 22
1062 Don't worry. The app says you can trust the driver not to eat you. 1.3188 0.03270 345 261 58 26
1063 Schroedinger said it was ok 1.3188 0.03421 320 243 52 25
1064 He promised it’s a dinner date! 1.3188 0.03421 320 243 52 25
1065 Three blocks of cheddar says he'll be dead in the morning. 1.3188 0.03305 320 239 60 21
1066 It lasts an hour and he drops me off at the Plaza. 1.3187 0.03238 342 257 61 24
1067 He likes my position on milk subsidies. 1.3187 0.03290 342 259 57 26
1068 Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield. 1.3187 0.03130 342 253 69 20
1069 Now, who's the big cheese? 1.3186 0.03386 317 239 55 23
1070 Xanax! 1.3186 0.03389 339 260 50 29
1071 Pretty much puts the whole "nature vs nurture" thing to bed, don't you think? 1.3186 0.03231 339 254 62 23
1072 Easy. He's a Trump supporter. I told him I would build a wall to keep out dogs. 1.3185 0.03522 292 220 51 21
1073 After the maze he's taking me to Fancy Feast for dinner! 1.3185 0.03315 292 214 63 15
1074 I hypnotized him, he thinks he's a horse. 1.3185 0.03139 336 248 69 19
1075 I slipped him a Mickey. 1.3185 0.03331 336 255 55 26
1076 I know where she really likes to be scratched... 1.3183 0.03276 311 230 63 18
1077 Three blind mice, huh? Fake mews! 1.3183 0.03608 311 241 41 29
1078 I told you; the squeak shall inherit the earth 1.3183 0.03158 333 246 68 19
1079 Mom! Dad! I trained him myself! 1.3182 0.03089 330 241 73 16
1080 ...and when he purrs, it just like having a massaging recliner. 1.3182 0.03454 308 233 52 23
1081 Should we tell him what happened to her last passenger? 1.3180 0.03226 327 243 64 20
1082 Don't tell him. 1.3179 0.03131 346 257 68 21
1083 He's an Uber cat. 1.3179 0.03390 324 246 53 25
1084 Yeah, it's a new app, UberCat. 1.3179 0.03439 302 227 54 21
1085 Why herd them when you can tame them? 1.3178 0.03176 343 256 65 22
1086 I'm training him to herd cats. 1.3178 0.03256 343 259 59 25
1087 I'm loving Uber's expansion into new business markets! 1.3175 0.03428 315 239 52 24
1088 I got the idea from a TED talk. 1.3175 0.03247 315 233 64 18
1089 It's fun, but he's eating me out of house and home. 1.3174 0.03121 356 266 67 23
1090 She wants to play with me before she kills and eats me. 1.3174 0.03262 334 251 60 23
1091 Alright, now! We'll see how HE runs." 1.3173 0.03481 312 238 49 25
1092 she thinks I'm the dog 1.3172 0.03282 331 249 59 23
1093 Relax, he thinks he's a horse. 1.3172 0.03338 331 251 55 25
1094 Wish me luck. On my way to herd some cats. 1.3172 0.03383 309 232 56 21
1095 Yes, I have a purrmit. 1.3169 0.03118 325 238 71 16
1096 It was easy: I just convinced him that he's a god, not a cat. 1.3169 0.03300 344 262 55 27
1097 If he'd won the bet, I'd be a grilled mouseburger. 1.3169 0.03142 344 256 67 21
1098 It’s really not more dangerous than a car. 1.3169 0.03325 344 263 53 28
1099 Amazing what you can get away with when others have blinders on! 1.3168 0.03104 363 272 67 24
1100 As long as the blinders keep him from seeing anything but Fox news, nothing can go wrong. And we get a tax cut." 1.3168 0.03403 322 245 52 25
1101 The time has come, gentlemen. We shall no longer be oppressed! 1.3166 0.03093 319 232 73 14
1102 Role play keeps us fresh. 1.3166 0.03338 319 240 57 22
1103 I'm trying out a new ride-sharing service. 1.3166 0.03288 338 256 57 25
1104 They just need to be domesticated. 1.3165 0.03343 297 220 60 17
1105 The riding part is fun. But getting the saddle and bridle on can really be a bitch. 1.3165 0.03330 316 237 58 21
1106 It's the post-truth era, guys. 1.3163 0.03442 313 238 51 24
1107 My cat whisperer course really paid off. 1.3161 0.03266 329 247 60 22
1108 I convinced him that this was better than the rat race. 1.3161 0.03151 329 243 68 18
1109 Are you guys really seeing this or is it the brownies we had this morning? 1.3160 0.03458 307 233 51 23
1110 No one ever asked before. 1.3159 0.02971 364 268 77 19
1111 I'll admit there's a certain "man bites dog" aspect to it... 1.3158 0.03257 304 224 64 16
1112 It's field work for a lab residency I'm doing at M.I.T. 1.3156 0.03306 339 258 55 26
1113 If it wasn’t for the dog I could ride him outside too 1.3156 0.03144 339 252 67 20
1114 They're virtual reality blinders. He thinks I'm George Washington. 1.3156 0.03416 320 244 51 25
1115 I know what you're thinking, but he says it's a big step up from his last job at the White House. 1.3156 0.03443 301 227 53 21
1116 Three Tom and Jerrys in the saucer, and he was all mine. 1.3153 0.03320 333 253 55 25
1117 This isn't an elephant? 1.3153 0.03312 314 235 59 20
1118 The hard part is hitching up the wagon. 1.3150 0.03099 346 257 69 20
1119 Just act like you are in charge. 1.3149 0.03303 343 262 54 27
1120 Thanks, fellas - we'll go back. Totally forgot the helmet. 1.3149 0.03225 343 259 60 24
1121 Well, he did eat Jeff and Priscilla, but once we got the blinkers on he just turned into a big pussycat! 1.3147 0.03163 340 254 65 21
1122 Don't dream it. Drive it. 1.3147 0.03218 340 256 61 23
1123 Like I told ya, once we can talk, anything is possible. 1.3146 0.03349 321 243 55 23
1124 At first I was just going to bell the cat - but then I decided, why not go for broke? 1.3146 0.03407 321 245 51 25
1125 Turns out we are the exact right size to be jockeys. 1.3146 0.03261 321 240 61 20
1126 How do you like my new Catalac? Fur-lined exterior and purrfect 9-life motor. 1.3146 0.03519 321 249 43 29
1127 Tell Jerry I win. 1.3146 0.03519 321 249 43 29
1128 Wise up, guys. Alternative realities are all the rage. 1.3146 0.03040 356 264 72 20
1129 The funny thing is, the dog version was a complete bust. 1.3146 0.03117 356 267 66 23
1130 I got tired of waiting for the cat to be away! 1.3145 0.03371 318 241 54 23
1131 Just think of this as the GOP and me as Trump. 1.3142 0.03130 366 277 63 26
1132 One blind cat sure beats three blind mice 1.3142 0.03441 331 256 46 29
1133 I told you we should have paid the extra five dollars an Uber X. 1.3138 0.03319 325 246 56 23
1134 It's his idea. We watched a lot of westerns this week. 1.3138 0.03319 325 246 56 23
1135 He said he wanted to work together to increase bipartisanship. 1.3138 0.03173 325 241 66 18
1136 It's sensitivity training. 1.3138 0.03182 341 256 63 22
1137 Herding cats of course! 1.3137 0.03032 357 265 72 20
1138 I’m an old cathand from the Rio Grande 1.3136 0.03229 338 255 60 23
1139 The first step is herding them, and then you just keep adding to the training. 1.3135 0.03212 319 237 64 18
1140 Relax; you're in my blind spot. 1.3133 0.03201 316 234 65 17
1141 And just like that, herding cats became a breeze. 1.3133 0.03213 332 249 62 21
1142 I told him my other cat was in the shop. 1.3132 0.02889 364 266 82 16
1143 HE BET THE DODGERS IN THE SERIES. 1.3131 0.03503 297 226 49 22
1144 As long as she can't see who's riding, we're safe! 1.3131 0.03253 313 233 62 18
1145 Kids today and their pimped rides. 1.3131 0.03317 329 250 55 24
1146 All you have to say is "Kttyup!" 1.3131 0.03289 329 249 57 23
1147 Craigslist kink sites are awesome! 1.3130 0.03156 345 259 64 22
1148 The Three Blind Mice disband after one decides to pursue a solo career. 1.3130 0.03235 345 262 58 25
1149 Just don't get around front where he can see you. 1.3129 0.03281 326 246 58 22
1150 Yeah, but it decreases in value the second you drive off the lot. 1.3128 0.03127 358 270 64 24
1151 It's a lot easier if you find a blind one. 1.3127 0.03473 323 250 45 28
1152 I’m a hypnotist and he thinks he’s a Clydesdale. It’s amazing ehat you can learn on YouTube. 1.3125 0.03142 320 236 68 16
1153 Some call it neutered, I call it cat-nipped. 1.3125 0.03214 352 268 58 26
1154 What's the matter, cat got your tongue? 1.3125 0.03203 320 238 64 18
1155 Of course it's safer than Uber 1.3125 0.03268 336 255 57 24
1156 The food chain is simply a mindset ladies. 1.3123 0.03182 349 264 61 24
1157 The humiliation scene was his idea ... but I have to admit, I kind of like it. 1.3123 0.03375 317 241 53 23
1158 I'll tire him out first, then we can raid the kitchen. 1.3122 0.03052 362 271 69 22
1159 Did you know Kibble now comes with marijuana? 1.3121 0.03281 330 250 57 23
1160 A little cat nip goes a long way fellas! 1.3121 0.03048 330 242 73 15
1161 The trick is getting the blinders on. 1.3118 0.03075 340 252 70 18
1162 Before the blinders, we just kept going in circles 1.3117 0.03145 324 240 67 17
1163 I told him it will help avoid curiosity. 1.3116 0.03177 337 253 63 21
1164 It took some work, but my scurrying days are over. 1.3115 0.03255 321 241 60 20
1165 Let's just say it was a lot of cheddar 1.3115 0.03133 321 237 68 16
1166 No country for old mice. 1.3115 0.03435 305 232 51 22
1167 I saw Jerry doing this to Tom in a past cartoon. What could possibly go wrong? 1.3114 0.03139 334 249 66 19
1168 It wasn't hard to do. I Googled it. 1.3113 0.03184 318 236 65 17
1169 I know you'll miss your brother, but someone had to put the bridle on. 1.3113 0.03584 302 234 42 26
1170 Beats scurrying! 1.3112 0.03216 331 249 61 21
1171 Hypnotism is easy, the real art is to know just when the trance ends. 1.3112 0.03355 331 254 51 26
1172 We've reached a compromise. 1.3110 0.02907 344 250 81 13
1173 Take it easy fellas, he's a vegetarian! 1.3110 0.03385 299 225 55 19
1174 The rat race has now become a cat and mouse game. 1.3110 0.03385 299 225 55 19
1175 Caught him napping. 1.3110 0.03293 328 249 56 23
1176 I'll write when I find work. 1.3110 0.03118 328 243 68 17
1177 They’re not as hard to train as you might think. 1.3109 0.02922 357 262 79 16
1178 Yes, he's service, not comfort 1.3109 0.03177 341 257 62 22
1179 It's like Uber, but it only takes you to your final destination. 1.3108 0.03398 325 250 49 26
1180 Who's the alpha now? 1.3107 0.03097 354 266 66 22
1181 Want to ride-share? 1.3107 0.03027 338 249 73 16
1182 He's gone vegan! 1.3107 0.03169 338 254 63 21
1183 I wish he would at least wear a helmet 1.3106 0.03335 322 245 54 23
1184 This is Snowball getting his chance in Hell 1.3106 0.03247 322 242 60 20
1185 I win if I stay on for 30 seconds after Mom says, "Here, Kitty, Kitty!" 1.3105 0.03199 306 226 65 15
1186 You can't imagine the difficulty in saddling her. 1.3104 0.03271 335 255 56 24
1187 After the catnip scandal, his racing days are over. 1.3103 0.03297 319 241 57 21
1188 Mouse whipped, for a change. 1.3102 0.03236 332 251 59 22
1189 Relax, this cat has a 5-star ride share rating. 1.3102 0.03092 332 246 69 17
1190 Remember, as long as it's within the 5 Boroughs, he can't refuse. 1.3102 0.03352 303 228 56 19
1191 They may take our cheese, but they'll never take our freedom!!! 1.3100 0.03340 329 252 52 25
1192 Now who's blind? 1.3099 0.03087 342 255 68 19
1193 As long as you're the one up here, you're safe. 1.3098 0.03129 326 242 67 17
1194 This is nothing. Next week I'm teaching him to make a cheese soufflé. 1.3098 0.03305 326 248 55 23
1195 Well, dressage was a bit of a challenge. 1.3098 0.03218 326 245 61 20
1196 We're entering the Purreakness. 1.3096 0.03148 323 240 66 17
1197 Hi there fellows! wanna ride my Furrari! 1.3096 0.03411 323 249 48 26
1198 And he's trained to find cheese! 1.3095 0.03263 336 256 56 24
1199 Phase two will involve herding. 1.3095 0.03235 336 255 58 23
1200 Better to herd and not be seen. 1.3095 0.03203 349 266 58 25
1201 And the best part is when I get to say "Git along little doggie" 1.3094 0.03256 307 229 61 17
1202 He was amazingly easy to train once I said he'd get more views on social media. 1.3094 0.03405 320 246 49 25
1203 I want to go see the farmer's wife and re-write history. 1.3093 0.03142 333 249 65 19
1204 Check out my new fur-rari! 1.3093 0.03255 333 253 57 23
1205 The hard part was deactivating its sleep mode. 1.3093 0.03283 333 254 55 24
1206 Who's the blind one now? 1.3092 0.03222 346 264 57 25
1207 Never say never. 1.3092 0.03007 346 256 73 17
1208 It's good for about an hour, then it needs to charge for 23. 1.3092 0.03244 304 226 62 16
1209 In the land of blinders a mouse is king. 1.3090 0.03188 343 260 60 23
1210 I’m taking this one for a run after the farmer’s wife. 1.3090 0.03052 343 255 70 18
1211 You should try this new ride-hailing app called 'Mouser.' 1.3089 0.02958 369 275 74 20
1212 This brings new meaning to the term “pussy whipped”. 1.3089 0.03121 327 243 67 17
1213 I'm being taken for a ride. 1.3089 0.03352 327 251 51 25
1214 I'm telling you: domesticate these things, and we'll rule the world. 1.3086 0.03170 324 242 64 18
1215 If you want to go faster, you just say kiddy-up. 1.3086 0.03317 324 247 54 23
1216 On my way to the kitchen, want anything? 1.3085 0.03065 363 274 66 23
1217 Two words: Taxi-Cat 1.3083 0.02960 373 279 73 21
1218 Get your affairs in order. We ride at dawn. 1.3082 0.03429 305 233 50 22
1219 It is a smooth ride so long as you do not mind the frequent stop for naps. 1.3082 0.03295 331 253 54 24
1220 Now, I'm certain to win the rat race! 1.3082 0.03124 331 247 66 18
1221 He said he’s changed! 1.3082 0.03350 331 255 50 26
1222 Party at the Farmer’s wife’s place, you guys want a ride? 1.3079 0.03453 302 231 49 22
1223 I got him from the Police Auction! 1.3079 0.03343 328 252 51 25
1224 Who's blind now, bitch? 1.3079 0.03480 328 257 41 30
1225 The balance of power has shifted, friends! Are you in? Or are you out? 1.3079 0.03117 341 256 65 20
1226 Once I got him hooked on catnip- he was all mine! 1.3079 0.03039 354 265 69 20
1227 Turns out, the fun was all in the chase. We reached a compromise. 1.3077 0.03185 312 232 64 16
1228 My other cat is a Brazilian Shorthair. 1.3077 0.03250 325 246 58 21
1229 They'll do ANYTHING for catnip. 1.3077 0.03191 338 256 60 22
1230 Psst...I told him it would go viral on YouTube. 1.3075 0.03257 348 268 53 27
1231 They banned horses in Central Park. 1.3075 0.03329 322 246 53 23
1232 Once I got a saddle on him, the rest was easy. 1.3075 0.03211 322 242 61 19
1233 Don't be scared. Deep down, he's a complete pussy. 1.3074 0.03397 309 236 51 22
1234 I told him we were pro-milk, and he totally bought it. 1.3074 0.03533 296 228 45 23
1235 Ignore the fact that he's orange. He's trainable. 1.3073 0.03089 371 283 62 26
1236 The golden doodle was just too high maintenance. 1.3072 0.03173 332 250 62 20
1237 Underneath the gruff exterior he's really just a pussycat. 1.3072 0.03291 319 242 56 21
1238 I don’t know what you’re putting in her cat food, but don’t stop. 1.3070 0.03191 342 260 59 23
1239 The good news is, it's a great ride. The bad news is, he gets to eat you when it's over. 1.3070 0.03362 329 254 49 26
1240 It's an election bet, Tabby here thought Trump would keep the House. 1.3070 0.03157 316 235 65 16
1241 It’s simple. First, tell him he’s GREAT, next tell him he’s the best leader ever and most importantly, convince him that fake-news outlets will run the story non-stop for a week straight. 1.3070 0.03402 316 243 49 24
1242 Face your fears, Gentlemen ! 1.3068 0.03128 339 255 64 20
1243 I told him I know how to build a better mouse trap. 1.3067 0.03268 300 224 60 16
1244 Not much, just heading to the river to visit the scorpion and the frog. 1.3065 0.03002 336 248 73 15
1245 The next time anyone tries to move my cheese, I'll be ready. 1.3065 0.03202 336 255 59 22
1246 She says she's taking me to her food dish. 1.3065 0.03146 336 253 63 20
1247 Once you get them accustomed to the saddle they're really quite manageable. 1.3065 0.03002 336 248 73 15
1248 It’s a diversion from playing with those little wooden traps. 1.3065 0.03202 323 243 61 19
1249 Pre-Blind Mice 1.3065 0.03142 323 241 65 17
1250 I recommend getting the safety feature package. 1.3063 0.03019 333 246 72 15
1251 You look surprised, cat got your tongue? 1.3062 0.03312 320 244 54 22
1252 See! That nursery rhyme is fake news. It wasn’t us that were blind. 1.3062 0.03252 320 242 58 20
1253 He really didn't have much choice once his nine lives were up. 1.3062 0.03025 356 267 69 20
1254 Vote for legalized catnip. 1.3061 0.03270 330 252 55 23
1255 I went to see Oprah and she was giving out cats. 1.3061 0.03184 330 249 61 20
1256 I just said he’d be assisting the blind and he bought it. 1.3061 0.03184 330 249 61 20
1257 Who said they can't be trained? 1.3061 0.03270 330 252 55 23
1258 Retirement from the lab has been great. Just went out and picked up the cat of my dreams. 1.3059 0.03175 340 258 60 22
1259 Well, they're not headphones, or you'd be dinner and dessert. 1.3058 0.03084 327 243 68 16
1260 Wait till you see me hogtie the dog! 1.3058 0.03319 327 251 52 24
1261 He thinks he’s Elon Mousk. 1.3057 0.03112 350 265 63 22
1262 I won the election bet 1.3056 0.03253 324 246 57 21
1263 It’s amazing what you can do with a little catnip. 1.3055 0.02994 347 258 72 17
1264 He thinks he has a monkey on his back! 1.3053 0.03170 357 274 57 26
1265 I guess no one has told him he was adopted 1.3053 0.03362 321 247 50 24
1266 I'm training her for the catwalk. 1.3049 0.03136 328 246 64 18
1267 He’s high on catnip. He thinks he’s a Tennessee Walking Horse.” 1.3048 0.03376 315 242 50 23
1268 Always remember to use an English saddle with a British Shorthair. 1.3047 0.03074 338 253 67 18
1269 Just grab your pussy. You can do anything... 1.3047 0.03399 338 265 43 30
1270 They're really not as smart as you think. 1.3045 0.03211 312 234 61 17
1271 My other ride is a python 1.3045 0.03149 335 253 62 20
1272 “I wanted a pony, but my folks thought I should start with a kitten” 1.3045 0.03062 358 271 65 22
1273 This. Changes. Everything! 1.3043 0.03082 322 239 68 15
1274 We're being extra-cautious about distractions. She's already used up eight lives. 1.3043 0.03059 345 259 67 19
1275 I'm not going to tell him! 1.3043 0.03205 322 243 60 19
1276 I told you those hypnosis lessons would come in handy. 1.3042 0.03110 332 249 65 18
1277 Nonsense. Cat’s are happiest when they’re working. 1.3042 0.03225 332 253 57 22
1278 I told you my major in positive psychology would one day pay off. 1.3042 0.03232 309 232 60 17
1279 You said no to a motorcycle... 1.3041 0.03345 319 245 51 23
1280 Uber had surge pricing. 1.3041 0.03374 319 246 49 24
1281 Its just an urban legend that they are difficult." 1.3039 0.03318 306 232 55 19
1282 She thinks I'm a chihuahua. 1.3039 0.03112 362 277 60 25
1283 I have him hooked on strong catnip. 1.3038 0.03122 339 256 63 20
1284 They are not bad. It just depends how you raise them. 1.3037 0.03007 349 261 70 18
1285 At midnight I turn back into a mouse, and the steed into an ally cat...uh, what time is it? 1.3037 0.03141 349 266 60 23
1286 . . . but you really have to stick the dismount! 1.3037 0.03114 349 265 62 22
1287 He's stuck. I think he's catatonic. 1.3037 0.03177 326 246 61 19
1288 This is nothing. I’ve got a flock of seagulls flying us all to Wisconsin for my bachelor party. 1.3037 0.03294 326 250 53 23
1289 This is the only time it's ok to grab a pussy" 1.3034 0.03315 323 248 52 23
1290 Wherever this ride leads must be really great because everybody who goes there stays. 1.3032 0.03151 343 261 60 22
1291 It's just like horses. To herd cats you have to convince them they want to do it. 1.3031 0.03092 320 238 67 15
1292 This is my version of playing cat and mouse. 1.3031 0.03216 320 242 59 19
1293 I've got something on him. 1.3031 0.03247 320 243 57 20
1294 You proved your point already, Algernon. Now you're just showing off. 1.3029 0.03224 340 261 55 24
1295 He's missing hindsight as well. 1.3029 0.03224 340 261 55 24
1296 They thought it was an error when the ad said, 'Free cat. Horse broken.' Turns out the ad was right. 1.3029 0.03142 340 258 61 21
1297 Thought we'd reverse the nursery rhyme with three seeing mice and one blind cat. 1.3029 0.03251 340 262 53 25
1298 You just can't lead it to water." 1.3028 0.03358 317 244 50 23
1299 This thing is a beast to control in the rain 1.3028 0.03017 327 242 71 14
1300 My secret? If you can dream it, you can do it! ... That, and catnip.“ 1.3027 0.03189 337 257 58 22
1301 If the blinders fall off call 911 ! 1.3026 0.03178 347 266 57 24
1302 I don’t know, fellas. I just YouTubed it. 1.3024 0.03466 291 223 48 20
1303 It's a variation on Pavlov's classical conditioning. 1.3024 0.03180 334 254 59 21
1304 I told him we were blind. He feels sorry for me. 1.3024 0.03046 377 289 62 26
1305 He thinks he's a horse. Why tell him otherwise? 1.3023 0.03061 344 259 66 19
1306 No, it wasn’t as easy as it looks 1.3023 0.03055 354 268 65 21
1307 If you start them young, it's not a problem. 1.3021 0.02961 331 244 74 13
1308 Stick enough catnip up their nose, and they'll do anything. 1.3021 0.03112 331 249 64 18
1309 Looks like we won. 1.3021 0.03141 331 250 62 19
1310 I find an English saddle gives me more control. 1.3020 0.03341 298 226 54 18
1311 We’re off to lunch 1.3020 0.03073 351 266 64 21
1312 Now let's see how HE runs! 1.3020 0.03046 351 265 66 20
1313 I offered him 2 treats, some catnip, and a Xanax. 1.3019 0.03040 361 274 65 22
1314 Just mix ambien and anchovies into the cat food - it makes them as docile as sheep. 1.3017 0.03036 348 262 67 19
1315 I know it's unproven, but I take pride in being an early adopter. 1.3016 0.02899 368 275 75 18
1316 This way, he stays in his lane. 1.3015 0.03209 325 247 58 20
1317 What can I say…He went all in and lost. 1.3015 0.03227 335 257 55 23
1318 Shush! If he knew who is riding him, I’m toast. 1.3014 0.03151 355 273 57 25
1319 You’ve been watching the wrong cat videos on YouTube. 1.3014 0.02942 355 265 73 17
1320 So much for the master race. This simpleton went to Wharton. 1.3014 0.03186 365 284 52 29
1321 It can't be inhumane if we're not human 1.3013 0.03205 312 235 60 17
1322 Call me a “stable genius”. 1.3012 0.03199 322 244 59 19
1323 See you later! I'm going to herd some dogs. 1.3012 0.03229 322 245 57 20
1324 It's okay. We won the election. 1.3012 0.03347 322 249 49 24
1325 The key is not letting them look back. 1.3011 0.03083 362 277 61 24
1326 It's really all about how you raise them. 1.3009 0.03126 319 239 64 16
1327 He bet the dog that The Giants would lose. 1.3009 0.03210 329 251 57 21
1328 The really hard part is getting into the saddle. 1.3009 0.03181 329 250 59 20
1329 Once I’d burrowed my way to where they keep the catnip, the rest was rather easy. 1.3006 0.03239 316 240 57 19
1330 Ever since the lottery win Rick has become so reckless. 1.3006 0.03078 336 253 65 18
1331 Sure it's not the safest...but you can't beat the ride on a cat-illac! 1.3006 0.03154 346 265 58 23
1332 I started out herding cats, then moved on to this. 1.3003 0.03190 323 245 59 19
1333 I'm on my way, unless he decides to take a 23 hour nap. 1.3000 0.03191 340 261 56 23
1334 Look, in this day and age, you adapt. 1.3000 0.03287 330 255 51 24
1335 Once you get the saddle on, he’s a real pussycat. 1.3000 0.03084 310 230 67 13
1336 its a 2003 1.3000 0.03102 350 267 61 22
1337 it’s all in the whispering 1.3000 0.03118 310 231 65 14
1338 Just working on my cat walk. 1.2997 0.02981 357 269 69 19
1339 He's just a big pussy cat really... 1.2997 0.03135 357 275 57 25
1340 It's a great ride, but getting off is a little tricky. 1.2997 0.03072 327 245 66 16
1341 He was one of my Uber choices! 1.2997 0.03381 317 246 47 24
1342 Quick! Take my photo. I need a new profile picture. 1.2997 0.03237 307 232 58 17
1343 Prey for me. 1.2997 0.03205 297 222 61 14
1344 Once they legalized catpot it was pretty easy. 1.2994 0.03111 344 262 61 21
1345 I just got my license. 1.2991 0.03106 331 250 63 18
1346 I know it's not practical, but you only live once, right? 1.2991 0.03109 321 241 64 16
1347 Finally, Service Cat for Three Blind Mice 1.2990 0.03457 311 243 43 25
1348 The main hazards are laser pointers and sudden cucumbers. 1.2989 0.03058 378 292 59 27
1349 The worst part is trying to get him to eat hay. 1.2988 0.03202 338 260 55 23
1350 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. 1.2988 0.03202 338 260 55 23
1351 The dealer told me that "eaten rates" are lower for this one than the Jaguar. 1.2988 0.03355 328 256 46 26
1352 At least I will have enjoyed the ride. 1.2988 0.02972 328 243 72 13
1353 I'm 3:1 in the third at Calico. 1.2988 0.03064 328 246 66 16
1354 I knew my time volunteering in the Behaviorists’ lab would eventually pay off! 1.2988 0.03242 328 252 54 22
1355 There's no way he'll get that thing through the front door. 1.2988 0.03327 328 255 48 25
1356 All he needed was a laser pointer. 1.2987 0.03159 318 240 61 17
1357 He’s thinks this will get his picture in one of those stupid cat calendars. 1.2985 0.03080 335 253 64 18
1358 Check out who's the blind one now! 1.2985 0.03291 325 251 51 23
1359 No, she doesn't go through a lot of jockeys. A lot of jockeys go through her. 1.2984 0.03394 315 245 46 24
1360 It's mostly just sunny spots, but when he moves it's really fun 1.2982 0.03213 332 255 55 22
1361 Rule number one, and the most important rule! Do not squeak!! 1.2981 0.03223 322 246 56 20
1362 Hi Tom, look what you can do with Jerrymandering. 1.2981 0.03193 322 245 58 19
1363 If this is going to work you have to be as quiet as a... 1.2981 0.03283 322 248 52 22
1364 It's okay, she's deaf too. 1.2981 0.02860 359 267 77 15
1365 She’s my seeing eye cat. 1.2980 0.03156 349 269 56 24
1366 We're going to look for the farmer's wife." 1.2980 0.03104 349 267 60 22
1367 Be right back, I'm gonna go piss off the neighbors. 1.2979 0.03380 292 223 51 18
1368 I'm trying to reduce my carbon paw-print! 1.2979 0.03055 339 256 65 18
1369 He is afraid of mice. 1.2979 0.03275 339 264 49 26
1370 He's taking me to meet his parents! 1.2979 0.03318 329 256 48 25
1371 What?? You've never seen a cat before? 1.2978 0.03304 319 246 51 22
1372 Believe it or not, he responds to "Get along, little doggie." 1.2978 0.03213 319 243 57 19
1373 It's the blind leading the blind 1.2978 0.03009 356 270 66 20
1374 Apparently he is a born again cat. 1.2977 0.03347 309 238 50 21
1375 After that farmer's wife incident, I prefer traveling by cat 1.2976 0.03101 336 255 62 19
1376 It’s all in the reins 1.2975 0.03135 326 247 61 18
1377 Pussy whipped. 1.2975 0.02995 363 276 66 21
1378 Not to worry. He has no idea who I am 1.2974 0.03140 343 263 58 22
1379 Aren't we suppose to be the blind ones? 1.2973 0.03233 333 257 53 23
1380 I had to cross that hot tin roof somehow. 1.2973 0.03099 296 219 66 11
1381 No 'grab 'em by the pussy' jokes, please. 1.2972 0.03361 323 252 46 25
1382 When YouTube gets this, we’ll all be swimming in cheese! 1.2972 0.03154 323 245 60 18
1383 Sure beats trying to herding them. 1.2972 0.03154 323 245 60 18
1384 ”Just don’t rub the fur the wrong way.” 1.2971 0.03018 340 256 67 17
1385 Uber for Matt? 1.2971 0.03131 340 260 59 21
1386 I used the same method that Trump did with the GOP! 1.2971 0.03186 340 262 55 23
1387 We're playing horse and mouse. 1.2967 0.03035 337 254 66 17
1388 I laced his catnip with fentanyl. 1.2967 0.03063 364 280 60 24
1389 Hop on, let's go find a dog. 1.2966 0.03245 327 252 53 22
1390 The toughest part is getting up here. 1.2966 0.02992 354 268 67 19
1391 Once you get enough catnip the rest is easy. 1.2965 0.03224 317 242 56 19
1392 I love him, so I suppose you could say we're both wearing blinders. 1.2965 0.03022 344 260 66 18
1393 It's also vegan. 1.2965 0.03105 344 263 60 21
1394 I'm off to Canada! Trump's more dangerous than the cat. 1.2964 0.03453 307 240 43 24
1395 This one will do anything for catnip! 1.2963 0.03053 324 243 66 15
1396 Hey fellas, I just watched a really great TED talk! 1.2962 0.03457 314 247 41 26
1397 We’re at 4-1 odds tomorrow at Calico Park 1.2962 0.03181 314 238 59 17
1398 I just turned 50, so I thought: 'why not do something for myself?' 1.2961 0.03216 331 255 54 22
1399 He's been like this since I started spiking his kibble with Adderall. 1.2961 0.03010 331 248 68 15
1400 He decided to switch parties after the midterm elections. 1.2960 0.03133 348 268 57 23
1401 Kudos -- but what happens when you get down? 1.2960 0.03165 321 244 59 18
1402 It's Uber! 1.2960 0.03344 321 250 47 24
1403 Hey, This is what they do on their 10th life 1.2960 0.03315 321 249 49 23
1404 Those lessons in hypnosis are paying off! 1.2959 0.02969 338 253 70 15
1405 Now our only worry is the dog. 1.2959 0.03057 338 256 64 18
1406 It's mutual; I know all the places to get milk and cheese! 1.2959 0.02909 338 251 74 13
1407 I'll keep him away so you can play. 1.2959 0.03113 338 258 60 20
1408 It's a smooth ride until he spots his girlfriend. 1.2958 0.03390 311 242 46 23
1409 Amazing what you can learn from a YouTube how-to cat video! 1.2957 0.03058 328 247 65 16
1410 Zero Celsius in Hell today gentlemen! 1.2957 0.03404 328 259 41 28
1411 Actually, it's safer and more fun than scaring elephants. 1.2957 0.03178 328 251 57 20
1412 Once I got the blinders on it was easy 1.2957 0.02991 372 285 64 23
1413 It's amazing what you can achieve with a little catnip. 1.2957 0.03169 301 226 61 14
1414 He thinks I'm a pit bull. 1.2957 0.03097 345 264 60 21
1415 Have you ever seen such a sight in your life; as one blind cat? 1.2957 0.03097 345 264 60 21
1416 You guys need a Lyft? 1.2956 0.03307 318 246 50 22
1417 One word, dressage. 1.2955 0.03160 335 257 57 21
1418 Playing Cat & Mouse can be fun,when you're in control. 1.2954 0.02857 369 277 75 17
1419 I found her on Craigslist under 'Transportation'. 1.2954 0.03227 325 250 54 21
1420 Don't worry, he's a scaredy cat. 1.2954 0.03014 325 243 68 14
1421 We even qualify for the carpool lane 1.2953 0.03003 342 258 67 17
1422 Couples therapy-- works wonders. 1.2953 0.03428 298 231 46 21
1423 Come on! First ride is free! 1.2952 0.03297 315 243 51 21
1424 Run out ahead. Whoever doesn’t get caught can ride next. 1.2952 0.03150 332 254 58 20
1425 Go ahead Steven, call me a rat again. 1.2950 0.03335 322 251 47 24
1426 We’re trying out for stupid pet tricks. 1.2949 0.02813 356 264 79 13
1427 It’s the new Jaguar model. 1.2948 0.03143 346 267 56 23
1428 his name is Figment 1.2947 0.03522 302 238 39 25
1429 We've got our own Youtube channel. 1.2947 0.03207 319 244 56 19
1430 Prey" and "Predator" are merely mindsets, gentlemen — true power comes via implantable electrodes 1.2947 0.03081 319 240 64 15
1431 He gets 20 miles per kibble. 1.2945 0.03099 326 247 62 17
1432 They're very green transportation, once you get past the whole eating your cousins hang up 1.2945 0.03159 326 249 58 19
1433 Trump was right, just grab and go! 1.2943 0.03408 316 248 43 25
1434 It’s a great way to get around, but feeding time is the worst. 1.2943 0.03171 333 256 56 21
1435 What he doesn't know doesn't hurt me. 1.2943 0.02872 333 246 76 11
1436 Mom always said that Louie would either be eaten by the cat or ride him like a horse. 1.2943 0.03091 350 269 59 22
1437 We just got out of the bag. 1.2941 0.03394 306 238 46 22
1438 I finally smashed the Catriarchy! 1.2941 0.03298 306 235 52 19
1439 Friendly purrsuasion. 1.2940 0.03008 364 279 63 22
1440 Play nice or I'll turn this cat around. 1.2939 0.03042 330 249 65 16
1441 First, I bought up all the catnip I could find... 1.2939 0.03151 313 237 60 16
1442 I got Alexa to order it for me on Amazon . 1.2938 0.03268 354 280 44 30
1443 Now just imagine Trump unable to watch Fox. 1.2938 0.03172 337 260 55 22
1444 Don't worry - it's domesticated. 1.2937 0.03008 320 239 68 13
1445 The fact that you are still standing there is proof the blinders are working. 1.2937 0.03228 320 246 54 20
1446 It is my turn to walk the cat today. 1.2936 0.02973 361 275 66 20
1447 No need to worry - he's a real pussycat. 1.2936 0.03072 344 263 61 20
1448 Of course he’s stuffed! Best birthday present ever! 1.2936 0.02960 344 259 69 16
1449 Turns out a swinging laser pointer can be an effective hypnosis device. 1.2936 0.03151 327 250 58 19
1450 Nothing to it if you know where the catnip is stashed. 1.2936 0.03151 327 250 58 19
1451 Please, no petting the service cat. 1.2936 0.03239 327 253 52 22
1452 Let's just say, curiosity got the best of this cat. 1.2935 0.03137 310 234 61 15
1453 I'm skeptical, too, but the concierge said this was the best way to see the park. 1.2934 0.03003 351 267 65 19
1454 They go low, You go high. 1.2934 0.03191 334 258 54 22
1455 You're okay as long as he doesn't see you 1.2934 0.03191 334 258 54 22
1456 I know, I know, I'm a mid-life cliché, but you should see this baby at top speed! 1.2934 0.03134 334 256 58 20
1457 Who says I can't have my cat and get eaten, too? 1.2933 0.03308 300 230 52 18
1458 Wait 'til the catnip wears off." 1.2933 0.02963 358 272 67 19
1459 Not to worry... we’re just playing cat and mouse. 1.2932 0.03170 324 248 57 19
1460 This isn't a cat,guys! This is a metaphor. For Americans thinking they can control their president. 1.2932 0.03050 365 282 59 24
1461 I taught him how to open the pantry! 1.2931 0.03267 331 258 49 24
1462 The personal growth seminar was awesome. Why do you ask? 1.2928 0.03158 321 245 58 18
1463 What? You guys have never seen a horse before? 1.2928 0.02992 362 277 64 21
1464 Ride or die. 1.2928 0.03343 304 235 49 20
1465 It is the "alternate truth" trick. I keep on telling him he is a horse. 1.2928 0.03310 304 234 51 19
1466 The hardest part was training him to give me a leg up! 1.2927 0.03052 328 248 64 16
1467 I hope curiosity kills him too. 1.2927 0.03002 369 284 62 23
1468 One blind cat beats three blind mice. 1.2926 0.03102 352 272 57 23
1469 As long as the blinders don't fall off, I should be okay. 1.2926 0.03095 311 234 63 14
1470 If this works out, I'll be rollin' in cheese just from the stud fees. 1.2925 0.03083 318 240 63 15
1471 That cat is mouse-whipped. 1.2925 0.03018 318 238 67 13
1472 I'm telling you, its going to be the new Uber! 1.2924 0.03162 301 227 60 14
1473 He doesn’t know it so don’t tell him. 1.2923 0.03012 349 266 64 19
1474 '' Hop on but remember not to squeak." 1.2922 0.03343 308 239 48 21
1475 It actually wasn't that hard. I just told him "the enemy of your enemy is your friend." 1.2922 0.03280 308 237 52 19
1476 My shrink recommended feline-assisted therapy. 1.2921 0.03166 315 240 58 17
1477 It was surprisingly easier then getting a bell on him. 1.2920 0.02985 339 256 67 16
1478 What doesn't kill you makes you smarter. 1.2920 0.03237 339 265 49 25
1479 How long do you think Jerry will pull this off before Tom realizes?" 1.2920 0.03210 339 264 51 24
1480 Wait 'til you see what happens when the Roomba comes around 1.2920 0.03183 339 263 53 23
1481 Living La Vida Loca! 1.2920 0.03014 339 257 65 17
1482 His DNA came back 39% cat, 28% mouse, 33% horse. 1.2919 0.03111 346 267 57 22
1483 You just get their trust with some tuna and sardines. 1.2918 0.03074 329 250 62 17
1484 Stop! We need to refuel. 1.2918 0.03163 329 253 56 20
1485 I've got some dirt on him. 1.2918 0.03094 353 273 57 23
1486 I think the whole thing works better if HE's the blind one. 1.2915 0.03261 319 247 51 21
1487 Orange tabby is the new black. 1.2914 0.03212 326 252 53 21
1488 It's all tone of voice. . . 1.2913 0.03139 309 234 60 15
1489 Got it for a steal at the ASPCA 1.2913 0.03365 309 241 46 22
1490 Just make sure it never hears you say, 'S...Q...U...E...A...K'. 1.2912 0.02889 340 254 73 13
1491 I'm riding over to see my in-laws. 1.2911 0.03251 316 244 52 20
1492 They have been long misunderstood! 1.2910 0.03172 323 248 56 19
1493 His name is Uber 1.2909 0.03408 330 263 38 29
1494 To hell with the bell. This is even better. 1.2906 0.03098 320 243 61 16
1495 I traded in my Pomeranian. 1.2905 0.03204 327 253 53 21
1496 I had some Ritalin left over from the Stage 1, double-blind, clinical trial. 1.2905 0.03347 327 258 43 26
1497 It's a trainer. I'll be on an elephant in no time. 1.2905 0.03036 358 276 60 22
1498 New world order 1.2904 0.03157 334 258 55 21
1499 Oh come on you guys... don't be such scaredy cats 1.2903 0.03084 341 262 59 20
1500 I hope he has insurance 1.2901 0.03130 355 277 53 25
1501 See, the thing is you CAN teach and old cat new tricks. 1.2901 0.03223 324 251 52 21
1502 It’s the new ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy! 1.2901 0.03285 293 224 53 16
1503 Cat Got Your Tongue? 1.2900 0.03117 331 254 58 19
1504 This ride is the cat's meow. 1.2900 0.03117 331 254 58 19
1505 This solar powered puppy bolts from napping to 30 mph in one second and it comes with a nine lives warranty. 1.2900 0.03204 331 257 52 22
1506 I was getting tired of the three blind mice jokes. 1.2898 0.03355 314 246 45 23
1507 He doesn't know he's a cat, basically. 1.2898 0.03231 314 242 53 19
1508 Guess who's on top now? 1.2898 0.03070 352 272 58 22
1509 He wants to help me find Jerry. 1.2897 0.03152 321 246 57 18
1510 I recommend making sure they’re well fed before starting on a long ride. 1.2896 0.03166 328 253 55 20
1511 Nah. It's cool. Just don't get in front of him. They're blinders, not a blindfold. 1.2896 0.03177 335 260 53 22
1512 He's on a diet. 1.2895 0.03131 342 265 55 22
1513 First step is to open up the tuna treats package. 1.2895 0.02874 342 256 73 13
1514 The shelter assured me that he is house broken. 1.2895 0.03104 342 264 57 21
1515 If our President can do it, so can I. 1.2895 0.03186 342 267 51 24
1516 I've got a really good feeling about this rat race. 1.2894 0.03114 349 271 55 23
1517 ...........and I persisted 1.2893 0.03019 356 274 61 21
1518 It's a piece of cake once you get the blinders on. 1.2893 0.03108 318 242 60 16
1519 He's offering free rides. 1.2892 0.03032 325 246 64 15
1520 It’s great as long as I sit downwind. 1.2892 0.03155 325 250 56 19
1521 Riding him is easy. Keeping him on the track is harder. 1.2890 0.02900 353 267 70 16
1522 More like, ‘One Blind Cat,’ am I right fellas? 1.2888 0.02981 367 283 62 22
1523 This cat truly found himself when he embraced his identity as a trans-species horse. 1.2888 0.03144 322 247 57 18
1524 Told you. 1.2888 0.03068 329 251 61 17
1525 This is my new cat "a"lac 1.2887 0.03297 291 223 52 16
1526 Forgive me, sir! doth thee knoweth whither I can findeth the nearest litter box? 1.2885 0.03327 305 237 48 20
1527 Guys, pussy's a lot more fun when you use protection. 1.2885 0.03359 305 238 46 21
1528 If you can't beat 'em, ride em. 1.2884 0.03255 319 248 50 21
1529 I don't know where we are going, but it's a free ride! 1.2883 0.03012 333 253 64 16
1530 Three blind mice - my ass. 1.2882 0.03203 347 273 48 26
1531 It’s quite ironic. She only marches to the tune of Three Blind Mice. 1.2882 0.03097 347 269 56 22
1532 Ain't I The Cats Meow? 1.2881 0.03055 354 274 58 22
1533 Hello, laaaaaadies. 1.2880 0.03264 309 239 51 19
1534 Nah, she’s as gentle as a kitten. 1.2880 0.02987 316 237 67 12
1535 Tell the farmer's wife I'm on my way. 1.2880 0.03214 316 244 53 19
1536 It's self-driving. 1.2879 0.03010 323 244 65 14
1537 Don't be a Luddite—there's no way this technology comes back to bite us. 1.2879 0.03042 323 245 63 15
1538 Relax, it's a robot! 1.2879 0.03255 323 252 49 22
1539 It's a nice ride but it purrs too much. 1.2879 0.03235 330 258 49 23
1540 This is a lot easier than herding him, besides, he’ a great jumper. 1.2878 0.03132 337 261 55 21
1541 I call this my kitty litter. 1.2877 0.03125 351 274 53 24
1542 We're headed West, where our relationship matters. 1.2877 0.03393 292 227 46 19
1543 I'll swing by for you once I figure out how to attach the carriage. 1.2875 0.03170 313 240 56 17
1544 We can all play once I put him away. 1.2875 0.03202 313 241 54 18
1545 Catching her was the hard part 1.2875 0.03185 320 247 54 19
1546 Luckily for me, Mrs. Whiskers believes the old adage about curiosity" 1.2875 0.03138 327 252 56 19
1547 Its largely about role playing! 1.2874 0.03179 334 260 52 22
1548 Plus it doesn't eat cheese 1.2871 0.03254 310 240 51 19
1549 What are the odds? 1.2871 0.03173 317 244 55 18
1550 Well, I guess I'll just be mouseying along now. 1.2871 0.03266 317 247 49 21
1551 It’s much easier to ride the domesticated cat than herd them! 1.2870 0.03127 324 249 57 18
1552 His name is Cheesebiscuit! 1.2870 0.03096 324 248 59 17
1553 Don't ask. You know, 'What happens in Vegas...' 1.2870 0.03198 331 258 51 22
1554 Who ordered the mewuber? 1.2870 0.03067 338 260 59 19
1555 Beats the dog. 1.2870 0.03161 345 270 51 24
1556 The tough part is putting the blinders on 1.2869 0.02918 359 274 67 18
1557 Pussy whispering. It's a knack. 1.2869 0.03023 359 278 59 22
1558 Licorice...but you have to get the dose right. 1.2869 0.02895 373 286 67 20
1559 It would have been unethical to ride the elephants. 1.2866 0.03434 307 243 40 24
1560 Of course it's a domestic! 1.2866 0.03161 314 241 56 17
1561 Getting the blinders on him can be a little dicey, but then he's fine. 1.2866 0.02962 314 235 68 11
1562 Be honest - do you think I look stupid? 1.2866 0.03083 321 245 60 16
1563 They're called "blinders"; it's the greatest invention since the mousetrap. 1.2866 0.03083 321 245 60 16
1564 Two pieces of cheese to touch, five pieces to ride. 1.2866 0.03070 328 251 60 17
1565 Fluffy’s my bitch 1.2866 0.03332 328 260 42 26
1566 Apparently, anything goes in this gig economy. 1.2865 0.03070 342 264 58 20
1567 Felix domesticus 1.2865 0.02945 349 266 66 17
1568 THEY'RE domesticated, we're not. 1.2862 0.03245 311 241 51 19
1569 Now, my brothers, we see how he runs! 1.2862 0.03196 318 246 53 19
1570 It's a convenient alternative to the Greyhound. 1.2861 0.03132 332 257 55 20
1571 Ring the bell if you need me - and if that doesn't work,try one of the squeaky toys. Or maybe the yarn. 1.2861 0.02913 339 256 69 14
1572 Two chapters in to "Cat herding for Dummies" and voila. 1.2861 0.03072 346 268 57 21
1573 This is his first rodeo! 1.2857 0.03034 343 264 60 19
1574 Now this is what I call the cat's meow." 1.2857 0.03092 329 253 58 18
1575 I promised him all of your hideouts. 1.2857 0.02900 357 272 68 17
1576 Once you break them, they can be quite useful. 1.2857 0.02929 336 254 68 14
1577 It's actually more affordable than you might think. 1.2857 0.03106 336 260 56 20
1578 The hardest part was getting the blinders on! 1.2857 0.03021 315 238 64 13
1579 'He's just a pussycat.' 1.2857 0.03120 315 241 58 16
1580 Relax. He's a real pussy!" 1.2857 0.03120 315 241 58 16
1581 He's obviously compensating for something... 1.2853 0.03065 347 269 57 21
1582 It's easy, really. Just keep your feet under you, relax your back, and use a light tension on the reins. 1.2853 0.03066 333 256 59 18
1583 If you think this is strange, you should check out the dog and pony games 1.2853 0.03170 326 253 53 20
1584 I’ve got him catniptotized! 1.2853 0.03079 326 250 59 17
1585 He's a unique pussy and I responded to an online ad he posted for a petite dominatrix. 1.2849 0.03210 337 265 48 24
1586 Don't worry. We'll be back in time for dinner. 1.2849 0.03210 337 265 48 24
1587 If you're going to herd them, it's best to be riding one. 1.2848 0.03053 330 253 60 17
1588 Need a Lyft? 1.2848 0.03172 330 257 52 21
1589 See? Told you he was a pussy cat! 1.2848 0.03308 323 255 44 24
1590 All mice are equal, but some mice are more equal. 1.2848 0.03098 323 248 58 17
1591 You said, Who will bell the cat? I say, Why think small? 1.2848 0.03159 323 250 54 19
1592 Isn't this just the cat's meow? 1.2848 0.03257 309 240 50 19
1593 Don't worry! He's a real pussycat! 1.2845 0.02974 348 267 63 18
1594 Once he was broken-in he's like a pussy cat. 1.2845 0.02986 341 261 63 17
1595 I'm a cat whisperer, he's a herding cat, and this is our first rodeo. 1.2844 0.02968 334 254 65 15
1596 Actually, you're statistically more likely to die on the way to the cat stables. 1.2844 0.03132 327 253 55 19
1597 Driving is safer than walking. 1.2844 0.03071 327 251 59 17
1598 Gimme all your cheese, or I'll take his blinders off. 1.2844 0.02978 327 248 65 14
1599 Call me The Cat Whisperer 1.2841 0.02991 345 265 62 18
1600 Check out my ride, I just replaced the cat-alytic converter. 1.2840 0.03032 338 260 60 18
1601 What he doesn't know won't hurt him. 1.2840 0.03075 331 255 58 18
1602 Don't let him see you until the final furlong. 1.2840 0.03058 324 248 60 16
1603 Should I be wearing a helmet? 1.2840 0.03120 324 250 56 18
1604 He said catnip, I said cat trip 1.2840 0.02995 324 246 64 14
1605 It beats taking the L train. 1.2840 0.03120 324 250 56 18
1606 Don't ask me what I feed it. 1.2840 0.03120 324 250 56 18
1607 The hard part is getting him out the front door. 1.2838 0.03022 303 228 64 11
1608 I can make it from the basement to the attic in 12 seconds! 1.2836 0.02861 342 258 71 13
1609 He thinks that he's people. And that I'm rich. 1.2835 0.03212 328 257 49 22
1610 We've teamed up to go viral on YouTube 1.2835 0.03032 328 251 61 16
1611 Look who's blind now baby! 1.2833 0.03086 360 283 52 25
1612 The trick is to keep your chin up, shoulders back and heels down when posting the trot and he won't eat you. 1.2833 0.02860 353 268 70 15
1613 Once I saddle-broke him, the rest was easy. 1.2832 0.02898 346 263 68 15
1614 He still has eight more. 1.2831 0.03126 332 258 54 20
1615 Once they're broken in, it's as easy as stealing cheese from a mousetrap. 1.2831 0.03112 325 251 56 18
1616 I had a coupon for 20% off your first ride. 1.2831 0.02987 325 247 64 14
1617 It's easy. Just take the feline. 1.2831 0.03172 325 253 52 20
1618 Three Blind Mice my #$%! 1.2829 0.03189 304 234 54 16
1619 Say what you will, it’s a pretty nice ride! 1.2828 0.03084 343 267 55 21
1620 It's a seeing eye cat. 1.2827 0.02963 329 250 65 14
1621 She's a vegetarian and quite nice once you get to know her. 1.2826 0.03099 322 248 57 17
1622 I gotta get her tired enough so she can't chase me when I get off. 1.2826 0.03036 322 246 61 15
1623 Three Blind Mice was only fake news! 1.2826 0.03161 322 250 53 19
1624 Lynx Lyft 1.2826 0.02963 368 286 60 22
1625 He just ate the trainer and two barn hands so hopefully he's full. 1.2825 0.03113 315 242 57 16
1626 If George Orwell could see me now. Giddy-up! 1.2825 0.02980 315 238 65 12
1627 It's Mouser - like Uber but for mice. 1.2825 0.02964 354 273 62 19
1628 I can't wait to see the look on the faces of those cheese hogging rats. 1.2824 0.02988 340 261 62 17
1629 When the cat's a sleigh, the mice will play. 1.2823 0.03089 333 258 56 19
1630 I figure the blinders will avoid a cat astrophe. 1.2822 0.03134 326 253 54 19
1631 Give me back the cheese or I take off the blinders. 1.2822 0.03103 326 252 56 18
1632 I scored big in catnip futures 1.2822 0.03011 326 249 62 15
1633 Take the picture already! We can't hold this pose forever! 1.2822 0.02947 326 247 66 13
1634 This is way better than putting a bell on it. 1.2821 0.03054 319 244 60 15
1635 Oh My! Look at the asshole on the cat. 1.2821 0.03191 351 279 45 27
1636 You know, I am just tired of running. 1.2820 0.03214 305 236 52 17
1637 What did you expect? An Uber? 1.2819 0.03333 298 233 46 19
1638 Hey guys, you might want to move. That's his litter box, not a beach. 1.2818 0.03077 330 255 57 18
1639 I won the game. 1.2818 0.03194 330 259 49 22
1640 You guys still talking about the bell? 1.2818 0.03165 330 258 51 21
1641 It’s post-modern. HE’S the one who’s blind and NONE OF US is running. 1.2817 0.03060 323 248 59 16
1642 I told you two to invest in Bitcoin. 1.2817 0.02838 387 299 67 21
1643 I started with a little bell. 1.2816 0.03024 348 270 58 20
1644 Someone needs to tell Phil to get off his high-cat already. 1.2816 0.03345 309 244 43 22
1645 You ought to get yourself one too- it purrs like a kitten. 1.2816 0.03084 309 236 59 14
1646 This will work until he gets hungry! 1.2815 0.02951 341 261 64 16
1647 The ride is much smoother than that dog I had. 1.2815 0.02951 341 261 64 16
1648 Just practicing for whenever Congress authorizes that $80 million Trump parade. 1.2815 0.03149 341 268 50 23
1649 SEE , I TOLD YOU MY RIDE WAS THE 'CAT'S MEOW" 1.2814 0.03110 334 260 54 20
1650 We’re going to “Catmandu”, wherever that is. 1.2814 0.03081 334 259 56 19
1651 A little catnip in her vape pen and it’s off to the races. 1.2814 0.03167 334 262 50 22
1652 It's all in how you grab them. 1.2813 0.02986 359 279 59 21
1653 Hey look! There is a filling station right there! 1.2812 0.03352 320 255 40 25
1654 Soft hands and light reins and they’re actually quite docile. 1.2812 0.03046 320 245 60 15
1655 Our relationship improved dramatically right after I cornered the market on Meow Mix. 1.2810 0.03068 306 233 60 13
1656 I told him the whole "Cats Eat Mice" thing was fake news and then I asked him to give me a ride to the front door. You might want to hop on before he figures out the truth. 1.2809 0.03106 356 281 50 25
1657 I've found lots of things work out better with blinders on. 1.2809 0.02956 324 246 65 13
1658 She's a rescue from a horse barn. 1.2809 0.03051 324 249 59 16
1659 It runs on only three mice a day" 1.2808 0.03199 292 224 54 14
1660 But protein powered, tiny carbon footprints, and motor purrs like a kitten...! 1.2808 0.03096 317 244 57 16
1661 Catnip Rules! 1.2808 0.03222 317 248 49 20
1662 See how it runs? 1.2806 0.03208 310 241 51 18
1663 The hard part is breaking them in. 1.2806 0.03142 310 239 55 16
1664 He insisted on a blind date 1.2806 0.03072 335 260 56 19
1665 He imprinted on a Clydesdale when he was a kitten. 1.2806 0.02954 335 256 64 15
1666 Honey, how much did you have to pay for insurance. 1.2804 0.03101 321 248 56 17
1667 Why be afraid of new technology? 1.2804 0.03163 321 250 52 19
1668 It’s an exciting new twist to a very old game! 1.2803 0.03471 289 229 39 21
1669 I might not be riding the tiger, but he knows where the good trash cans are. 1.2802 0.02900 339 258 67 14
1670 I’m telling you guys: exposure therapy is the way to go! 1.2802 0.03075 339 264 55 20
1671 Florida has to replace greyhound racing with something. 1.2802 0.03047 339 263 57 19
1672 What she can't see won't hurt me. 1.2801 0.03128 307 236 56 15
1673 Just remember, it's "Fabulous Feline" to win in the fifth. 1.2801 0.03149 332 260 51 21
1674 On the final episode of Tom and Jerry... 1.2800 0.03195 325 255 49 21
1675 How the mighty have feline. 1.2800 0.03225 325 256 47 22
1676 The magic word was "Please." 1.2800 0.03105 325 252 55 18
1677 I actually think of myself as more of a dog person. 1.2799 0.02933 368 286 61 21
1678 Once I trained the dog this was a piece of cake 1.2799 0.03022 318 243 61 14
1679 See? Cats CAN be trained! 1.2798 0.03064 336 261 56 19
1680 Not exactly what I thought the Craigslist ad meant, but it's a fun ride all the same. 1.2798 0.03150 336 264 50 22
1681 You can find my latest book on Amazon, "The Cat Whisperer." 1.2797 0.03199 311 242 51 18
1682 See that Mouse he tamed that cat to go against all its better instincts put blinders on it and named it the Republican Party 1.2796 0.03394 329 266 34 29
1683 Just a precaution until we leave the house. She prefers birds. 1.2795 0.02884 347 265 67 15
1684 His last jockey turned out to be a rat. 1.2794 0.03202 315 246 50 19
1685 Catnip never fails. 1.2793 0.03014 358 280 56 22
1686 Just one dose of genetically modified catnip and voila! 1.2792 0.03219 308 240 50 18
1687 Tell Mom I've run away to join the circus. 1.2792 0.02946 351 271 62 18
1688 I read Art of the Deal, then did the exact opposite... 1.2791 0.03187 326 256 49 21
1689 Once you break their spirit, they're as tame as kittens. 1.2791 0.02940 326 248 65 13
1690 What? Cat's got your tongue. 1.2790 0.03355 319 255 39 25
1691 I gotta sure winner here. All the other ones in the race are dogs. 1.2787 0.02934 348 268 63 17
1692 Thanks for the catnip! 1.2786 0.03021 323 248 60 15
1693 Catnip and blinkers, and he becomes a pussycat. 1.2786 0.03021 323 248 60 15
1694 Blind mice, my ass! 1.2786 0.03206 323 254 48 21
1695 I don't know why, but until I put blinkers on him, I couldn't get life insurance. 1.2786 0.03266 323 256 44 23
1696 She's fine with it as long as I don't grab anything. 1.2786 0.03031 341 265 57 19
1697 Long way from Tom and Jerry, am I right? 1.2785 0.03097 316 244 56 16
1698 No one could made an entrance quite like Carl could. 1.2784 0.03045 334 259 57 18
1699 My next cat will be an all electric Abyssinian 1.2783 0.03210 309 241 50 18
1700 They’re not blinders, they’re virtual reality units. She thinks she’s Seabiscuit. I think she’s nuts. 1.2783 0.03119 327 255 53 19
1701 Don't worry about the money. I'm only leasing it. 1.2783 0.03058 327 253 57 17
1702 You gotta get this app! 1.2783 0.02979 345 267 60 18
1703 Easy, just a little catnip and the promise of media stardom. 1.2783 0.03062 345 270 54 21
1704 Three sharp-eyed mice. One blinded cat. Let’s see how Brown’s wife does with these odds. 1.2781 0.03039 320 246 59 15
1705 Yes, you can pet him. 1.2781 0.02907 320 242 67 11
1706 Don’t worry. He said he’s just taking me fo a ride. 1.2781 0.03020 338 262 58 18
1707 See, they can be trained! 1.2779 0.03121 331 259 52 20
1708 There are two more blind ones...You should see how they run. 1.2779 0.02971 331 254 62 15
1709 UBER-KITTY!! 1.2779 0.03121 331 259 52 20
1710 Who's the pussycat now? 1.2779 0.03208 331 262 46 23
1711 It turns out they're highly hypnotizable. 1.2779 0.02955 349 270 61 18
1712 Nah, I couldn't afford one. Anyway, I hear the self-driving model eats you. 1.2779 0.03034 367 290 52 25
1713 With the blinkers on he's a real pussycat. 1.2778 0.03145 288 220 56 12
1714 This beats trying to put a bell on her. 1.2778 0.03107 288 219 58 11
1715 Awww...you guys worry too much! He's perfectly safe. 1.2778 0.02981 324 248 62 14
1716 I own this nursery rhyme! 1.2776 0.02848 353 270 68 15
1717 That hypnosis course really worked! 1.2776 0.02694 335 249 79 7
1718 The key are the blinders and always mount from the rear! 1.2776 0.02990 317 242 62 13
1719 It's in case someone has a laser pointer during dressage. 1.2776 0.03056 317 244 58 15
1720 And she gets 10 miles on an ounce of catnip. 1.2775 0.02856 346 264 68 14
1721 He's no Secretariat, but he knows a mousetrap when he sees one. 1.2775 0.02797 346 262 72 12
1722 It’s not just the blinders, it’s knowing how to sweet talk 1.2774 0.02988 328 252 61 15
1723 The dog was the best man at my wedding. 1.2773 0.03097 339 266 52 21
1724 I'm thinking of trading this one in for the dog, actually. 1.2771 0.02901 332 253 66 13
1725 Cheer up, we won the house! 1.2771 0.03113 332 260 52 20
1726 "He was already trained when I bought him." 1.2771 0.03267 314 248 45 21
1727 How's this for a metaphor for democracy? 1.2769 0.03036 325 251 58 16
1728 You should see how he runs! 1.2769 0.03189 325 256 48 21
1729 She asked me to help frustrate the dog. 1.2769 0.03189 325 256 48 21
1730 We are each the other’s comfort animal. 1.2769 0.03086 307 236 57 14
1731 Off to the cat race. 1.2768 0.02939 336 258 63 15
1732 The hard part is getting into the saddle. 1.2766 0.02809 376 290 68 18
1733 What do you mean a better mousetrap? 1.2766 0.03011 329 254 59 16
1734 Can I get anything for you from the Cheesecake Factory? 1.2766 0.02949 329 252 63 14
1735 a little catnip changes the whole game 1.2766 0.03102 329 257 53 19
1736 He's the mouse that road. 1.2765 0.02982 358 280 57 21
1737 It's guaranteed to be the ride of your life. 1.2765 0.03061 340 266 54 20
1738 It's all a matter of confidence. 1.2765 0.03218 293 227 51 15
1739 We’ll make a mint when he gets used to the carriage. 1.2764 0.03022 322 248 59 15
1740 Yes, it did take some time, but it was totally worth it.... 1.2763 0.02956 333 256 62 15
1741 The blinders keep it from going after dogs. 1.2763 0.03105 333 261 52 20
1742 I told you he was a pussycat 1.2763 0.02925 333 255 64 14
1743 I used to ride greyhounds but it just felt wrong. 1.2762 0.02932 362 282 60 20
1744 It’s the only way I could get him to stop chasing his tail. 1.2762 0.03066 315 243 57 15
1745 I heard about "Catnapping" but didn't believe it. 1.2762 0.02980 344 267 59 18
1746 The most important safety features are the blinders. 1.2761 0.02868 326 247 68 11
1747 My other ride is a Porsche. 1.2761 0.03210 326 258 46 22
1748 He’s says he knows a secret place that mice find heavenly. 1.2761 0.03120 326 255 52 19
1749 Don't ask. Hop on. 1.2761 0.02944 355 276 60 19
1750 Food chain? Never heard of it... 1.2759 0.03167 319 250 50 19
1751 Alpha Mouse 1.2759 0.03289 319 254 42 23
1752 As long as he doesn’t see our reflection, he’ll keep thinking I’m a god. 1.2758 0.02948 359 280 59 20
1753 If we get it on YouTube we’ll be rolling in cheese. 1.2758 0.02941 330 253 63 14
1754 Have you listened to my podcast on controlling your fears? 1.2758 0.03064 330 257 55 18
1755 'Git along little kitty' has a better ring to it, don't you think? 1.2755 0.02816 323 243 71 9
1756 I'm headed out to herd some cats 1.2755 0.02899 363 282 62 19
1757 I call it my catbird seat! 1.2755 0.02951 363 284 58 21
1758 The cat whisperer? No, I am the catnip suppler. 1.2754 0.03000 345 269 57 19
1759 It's easier than taming a shrew. 1.2752 0.03352 298 236 42 20
1760 When you're a star... 1.2750 0.03127 320 250 52 18
1761 Gentlemen, behold an alpha male. 1.2749 0.02872 342 262 66 14
1762 With the blinders, they don't know you're a mouse. 1.2749 0.02901 342 263 64 15
1763 He just read Puss and Boots 1.2748 0.03320 302 239 43 20
1764 It's called dressage... 1.2748 0.03076 313 242 56 15
1765 Under the bed? Take the black one. This one only stops at the couch and kitchen. 1.2747 0.02974 324 249 61 14
1766 There’s more than one way to train a cat. 1.2746 0.03030 335 261 56 18
1767 COME ON!! THIS IS OUR MEOW- TOO MOMENT !! 1.2746 0.03059 335 262 54 19
1768 Is it cat calling if I whistle? 1.2746 0.02936 346 268 61 17
1769 Worst mousetrap, EVER! 1.2745 0.03087 306 236 56 14
1770 My elephant kept running away. 1.2744 0.03209 317 250 47 20
1771 We're going over to visit the three blind mice. 1.2744 0.03012 328 254 58 16
1772 I have about five minutes left, then I will wake up. 1.2744 0.03012 328 254 58 16
1773 This on;y works in states where catnip is legal. 1.2744 0.02981 328 253 60 15
1774 They call me the Calico Kid. 1.2743 0.03119 339 268 49 22
1775 Who said you can’t have it all?? 1.2743 0.03051 350 276 52 22
1776 I told him I was Dale Evans. 1.2743 0.02996 350 274 56 20
1777 No need to run. “They” identify as a horse today. 1.2743 0.02769 350 266 72 12
1778 We attack the birdhouse at dawn 1.2742 0.03258 310 245 45 20
1779 Cat Town Races five miles long...Doo Dah, Doo Dah... 1.2742 0.03226 310 244 47 19
1780 The engine's hard to motivate but you get a whole 9- year warranty. 1.2742 0.03161 310 242 51 17
1781 Ladies... 1.2740 0.02911 365 285 60 20
1782 It's called "dressage." Not that I expect you uncultured rodents to know anything about it. 1.2739 0.03165 314 246 50 18
1783 It does seem kind of elitist, doesn't it? 1.2739 0.03165 314 246 50 18
1784 Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lap to go sit on. 1.2738 0.03022 336 262 56 18
1785 Your Mewber has arrived 1.2738 0.03051 336 263 54 19
1786 Sure its a bit extravagant, but I did dupe 26 million humans into buying my book about moving cheese... 1.2737 0.02965 369 291 55 23
1787 The lab said if I hold off on the lawsuit, they’ll throw in this seeing-eye cat. 1.2736 0.03184 329 261 46 22
1788 I get fourteen miles per mouse. 1.2736 0.03004 329 255 58 16
1789 I've named him Elon. 1.2736 0.03213 329 262 44 23
1790 I just couldn't deal with the trains anymore. 1.2736 0.03125 329 259 50 20
1791 He says he got the idea in Central Park. 1.2735 0.03055 340 267 53 20
1792 You wouldn't believe the mileage I get on this thing. 1.2735 0.03016 351 276 54 21
1793 It's like riding a bicycle--you never forget. 1.2735 0.02989 351 275 56 20
1794 Go figure. I app-hailed a ride and he showed up. 1.2735 0.02953 362 284 57 21
1795 This could be better than the tail wagging the dog. 1.2733 0.03110 322 252 52 18
1796 I told him I really liked him and that he was incredible. 1.2733 0.03069 333 261 53 19
1797 It's a little game we play. 1.2733 0.02855 333 254 67 12
1798 Herding is difficult, but pampering makes the rest easy. 1.2733 0.02857 344 264 66 14
1799 ... and just a wee pinch of catnip in his dinner bowl. 1.2730 0.02916 304 230 65 9
1800 Hey, how about a wedge of havarti for me and some tuna for my friend? 1.2730 0.03156 315 247 50 18
1801 The blinders are a key piece of safety equipment. 1.2730 0.03156 315 247 50 18
1802 My epiphany was to stop trying side-saddle. 1.2730 0.03124 315 246 52 17
1803 Okay, I get it... but wait until he tries to dismount... 1.2730 0.03021 326 253 57 16
1804 Kitty-up, feline. 1.2730 0.02990 326 252 59 15
1805 I was tired of the old game. 1.2730 0.03052 326 254 55 17
1806 He thinks he's the cat's meow 1.2730 0.03144 326 257 49 20
1807 Much safer than an elephant. 1.2730 0.03072 337 265 52 20
1808 Don’t worry; the worst part is when it bathes itself. 1.2730 0.03043 337 264 54 19
1809 It’s got four-whisker drive. 1.2730 0.02893 348 269 63 16
1810 Yes, I'm a member of the three blind mice...why? 1.2730 0.02916 359 280 60 19
1811 He thinks we are blind too.! 1.2727 0.03104 308 239 54 15
1812 Don't worry, he's blind. He thinks i'm his uber customer. 1.2727 0.02867 363 282 63 18
1813 It's a cat-and-mouse game. 1.2727 0.03057 330 258 54 18
1814 It’s easy after the blinders are on. 1.2727 0.03032 319 247 57 15
1815 A little catnip and he is putty in my hands. 1.2727 0.02933 319 244 63 12
1816 Relax, Bob has been doing these rides for a long time...say, has anyone seen Bob lately? 1.2727 0.03216 297 232 49 16
1817 Really, the hardest part is getting the blinders on. After that it’s a breeze. 1.2727 0.02967 319 245 61 13
1818 He wants to be on Animal Planet. 1.2725 0.02923 367 288 58 21
1819 It's a Domestic Shorthair without the bells and whistles. 1.2725 0.03119 334 264 49 21
1820 Thanks for asking. We’re off to join the Cirque du Soleil. 1.2725 0.03031 334 261 55 18
1821 The only hard part was getting the blinders on! 1.2724 0.02876 323 246 66 11
1822 The Catucky Derby! Where do ya think?! 1.2724 0.02974 312 239 61 12
1823 They said it couldn't be done. 1.2722 0.02914 349 271 61 17
1824 Hop on. It's a catavan." 1.2722 0.02914 349 271 61 17
1825 I used to infest a riding stable. 1.2722 0.02998 349 274 55 20
1826 Wait till he finds out who's holding the reins! 1.2722 0.03064 338 266 52 20
1827 Forecast was for reining cats, dogs predicted next week, 1.2722 0.03013 327 254 57 16
1828 Get them as kittens, and you can snuggle the call of the wild right out of them. 1.2722 0.03242 316 251 44 21
1829 Just pitched Disney. Tomorrow it’s Netflix. 1.2722 0.03147 316 248 50 18
1830 Now this is a hybrid. 1.2720 0.02752 364 279 71 14
1831 Found him on Craig's List under 'blind cats'. 1.2719 0.03067 342 270 51 21
1832 He turned vegan! 1.2719 0.03212 320 254 45 21
1833 A sure thing, Boo Boo Kitty in the seventh at Petsmart. 1.2719 0.03212 320 254 45 21
1834 As long as I don't sing 'Git Along, Little Doggie,' he's fine. 1.2717 0.02814 357 275 67 15
1835 I’m The Mouse That Roared.” 1.2717 0.02930 346 269 60 17
1836 Ever heard of horse whispering? Same thing. 1.2716 0.02809 335 255 69 11
1837 I call it three mice blinders 1.2716 0.03262 313 249 43 21
1838 Yeah, he's a real pussy cat. 1.2716 0.03166 313 246 49 18
1839 Finally, the better mousetrap! 1.2715 0.02875 361 281 62 18
1840 Great acceleration but a fuel hog. 1.2715 0.02875 361 281 62 18
1841 You can take the blinders off to activate self-driving mode. 1.2714 0.02969 339 264 58 17
1842 The other two are saddled up and ready. 1.2713 0.03106 317 248 52 17
1843 They can get a little skittish if they see a dog. 1.2712 0.03081 295 227 56 12
1844 The trick is getting the blinders on right. 1.2712 0.02742 354 270 72 12
1845 Just like riding a bike. 1.2711 0.02974 343 268 57 18
1846 See what happens when you conquer your fears? 1.2711 0.02917 343 266 61 16
1847 Sure, it takes a lot of training, but think of the respect I get on the freeway. 1.2711 0.02919 332 256 62 14
1848 I'm auditioning for the 'Tom & Jerry' re-boot. 1.2711 0.03011 332 259 56 17
1849 Couple scratches, but worth every penny. 1.2710 0.03048 321 250 55 16
1850 They say his mother was a mouser. 1.2710 0.03016 321 249 57 15
1851 It’s not like I’m riding a tiger or anything 1.2710 0.02883 369 289 60 20
1852 I have to keep kicking him so he doesn't nap. 1.2710 0.02883 369 289 60 20
1853 Forget Uber download the MEOW app. 1.2709 0.03266 299 236 45 18
1854 We're running in the Purreakness. 1.2709 0.03300 299 237 43 19
1855 One blind cat, one blind cat. See how I ride. See how I ride. 1.2709 0.02865 347 268 64 15
1856 This one is quite docile. What could possibly go wrong? 1.2708 0.03103 336 266 49 21
1857 There's more potency in these new strains of catnip. 1.2708 0.02991 325 252 58 15
1858 Catnip in the Fancy F east. 1.2708 0.03084 325 255 52 18
1859 A mouser is no match for a good cat wrangler. 1.2707 0.03092 314 245 53 16
1860 Going to the vet, to get him declawed. 1.2706 0.03048 340 268 52 20
1861 The key is, of course, the proper saddle. 1.2706 0.02903 340 263 62 15
1862 It was hell breaking him. 1.2705 0.02793 366 283 67 16
1863 Mice rule, cats drool. 1.2704 0.03161 318 251 48 19
1864 Come take a ride on the wild side 1.2704 0.03105 307 239 53 15
1865 I hypnotized him, he thinks he's a horse. Just don't snap your fingers in front of him. 1.2704 0.03105 307 239 53 15
1866 Easy . . . Just convince him he is a horse. 1.2703 0.02880 344 266 63 15
1867 So far, I am winning 1.2703 0.02880 344 266 63 15
1868 His mom is gonna KILL him! 1.2702 0.03103 322 253 51 18
1869 You just have to keep the blinders VERY secure. 1.2702 0.02876 322 246 65 11
1870 The tricky part was getting the harness on 1.2702 0.02975 322 249 59 14
1871 You want to see something funny, wait 'til the dog gets on. 1.2701 0.03210 311 246 46 19
1872 I broke him with Sun Tzu and some rolled catnip. 1.2701 0.02905 374 295 57 22
1873 The cat no longer has to be away for this mouse to play. 1.2700 0.03037 337 265 53 19
1874 Relax. We're just horsing around. 1.2699 0.03014 326 254 56 16
1875 Improbable but not impossible. 1.2699 0.02982 326 253 58 15
1876 I really hope those blinders stay on. 1.2699 0.02982 326 253 58 15
1877 You wouldn't think, but the hardest part is actually finding a cat. 1.2699 0.02951 326 252 60 14
1878 The bitch thinks I'm a flea. 1.2698 0.03124 341 272 46 23
1879 It has all the latest safety features 1.2697 0.03080 330 260 51 19
1880 I would call THIS cat and mouse game OVER boys 1.2697 0.03226 330 265 41 24
1881 It’s called “exposure therapy.” 1.2696 0.03025 319 248 56 15
1882 He's domesticated, after all. 1.2696 0.02783 345 264 69 12
1883 It works on the honor system. 1.2696 0.02902 345 268 61 16
1884 We are going to roundup some little dogies. 1.2696 0.02843 345 266 65 14
1885 Wake up, you're dreaming! Yeah, I know. 1.2695 0.03295 308 246 41 21
1886 See, Mom and Dad, I told you my English degree wasn't a waste of time and money!! 1.2695 0.03230 308 244 45 19
1887 He thinks I’m a monkey 1.2695 0.02995 334 261 56 17
1888 Oh, I've got purrs, that jingle, jangle, jingle... 1.2695 0.03083 334 264 50 20
1889 I’m safe as long as he doesn’t see me 1.2695 0.02965 334 260 58 16
1890 Galileo, the Wright brothers, Edison... the really great inventors ALWAYS test their own devices. 1.2694 0.03136 297 231 52 14
1891 YouTube gold, I tell you! 1.2693 0.03186 323 257 45 21
1892 Turns out to be the best way to herd them. 1.2693 0.02835 323 246 67 10
1893 When I knew him, he was just another rat living in some hole in the wall place. 1.2693 0.03063 323 253 53 17
1894 Head’n out to round up some little doggies.” 1.2693 0.03031 323 252 55 16
1895 With the blinders on, he thinks I'm a crazy cat lady named Doris who keeps petting him! 1.2693 0.02991 349 275 54 20
1896 He needs to be in a catatonic state for this to work 1.2693 0.02798 375 292 65 18
1897 ....and if it doesn't work, we still have eight lives left. 1.2691 0.03068 327 257 52 18
1898 I put some Prozac in his kibbles. 1.2691 0.03037 327 256 54 17
1899 Belling a cat is so yesterday. 1.2689 0.03012 331 259 55 17
1900 Ride 'em meowboy! 1.2689 0.03042 331 260 53 18
1901 So much for natural instincts. 1.2689 0.03183 305 240 48 17
1902 It can't be dangerous if it's zero emissions 1.2688 0.02984 320 248 58 14
1903 Why just grab the pussy? 1.2686 0.03317 309 248 39 22
1904 Relax, this one’s a pussy. 1.2686 0.03220 309 245 45 19
1905 Should we tell him what happened when the last guy tried to tie it to a hitching post? 1.2686 0.03011 350 277 52 21
1906 Reframe your fear and let it work for you. 1.2685 0.02894 324 249 63 12
1907 One blind cat, see how he runs. 1.2685 0.03023 324 253 55 16
1908 Don’t worry, guys! Paul Ryan told me I can control him. 1.2685 0.03086 324 255 51 18
1909 Negotiation and excellent communication skills are the key! 1.2685 0.02927 324 250 61 13
1910 What he don't know can't hurt us. 1.2684 0.02903 339 263 61 15
1911 Turns out that rhyme was just a very poor translation. 1.2684 0.02873 339 262 63 14
1912 Seems only fair. 1.2684 0.02933 339 264 59 16
1913 I know, it’s just a dream. 1.2684 0.03126 313 246 50 17
1914 Behold the power of catnip 1.2684 0.02906 354 277 59 18
1915 This baby purrs like a Chrysler. 1.2682 0.03053 343 272 50 21
1916 Just because you're a mouse doesn't mean you have to act like a mouse. 1.2681 0.03001 317 246 57 14
1917 He’s also an excellent jumper. 1.2681 0.02911 332 257 61 14
1918 He thinks I'm an owl. 1.2680 0.03082 347 277 47 23
1919 I told him I’m going to build a bigger, better mousetrap and get Mickey and Minnie to pay for it. 1.2680 0.02941 362 286 55 21
1920 Catnip! Works every time! 1.2679 0.03135 321 254 48 19
1921 Beats being chased around! 1.2679 0.03008 321 250 56 15
1922 Just call me 'The Whiskers Whisperer'. 1.2679 0.02826 336 258 66 12
1923 Home by 11:00 and no drinking! 1.2679 0.02919 336 261 60 15
1924 It beats Uber. 1.2678 0.02976 351 277 54 20
1925 Is this the first you realized I'm a control freak ? 1.2677 0.03244 310 247 43 20
1926 Better living thru catnip! 1.2676 0.02871 355 277 61 17
1927 I told him that the nursery rhyme is called 'Three Blind Cats" 1.2675 0.03118 314 247 50 17
1928 Wait 'til this goes viral. 1.2675 0.03111 329 261 48 20
1929 Relax; I haz catnip. 1.2674 0.02766 359 277 68 14
1930 Who says an old cat can't learn a new trick. 1.2673 0.02959 318 246 59 13
1931 Think about it. They poop in a litter box instead of the street--how cool is that. 1.2673 0.03090 318 250 51 17
1932 No, the hard part is how to mount in an English saddle. 1.2673 0.03058 318 249 53 16
1933 I just leveled the playing field. 1.2673 0.02935 333 259 59 15
1934 See no mousie, chase no mousie. 1.2673 0.03055 333 263 51 19
1935 Actually, there are three blind cats. 1.2672 0.02908 348 272 59 17
1936 A little birdie was the first owner. 1.2672 0.02908 348 272 59 17
1937 Wanna join the Mousecateers? 1.2671 0.03165 307 242 48 17
1938 What you can't see can't kill you. 1.2671 0.02902 322 248 62 12
1939 Daydreams of Three Blind Mice 1.2669 0.03007 326 255 55 16
1940 If wishes were cats, all mice could ride. 1.2669 0.03005 341 269 53 19
1941 Once you break them, the trick is to keep the blinders on. 1.2667 0.02842 360 281 62 17
1942 Now the mice can play while the cat's not away 1.2667 0.03076 315 247 52 16
1943 I grew up on a farm. 1.2665 0.03017 319 249 55 15
1944 He may have nine, but I've only got one boys. 1.2664 0.03185 304 240 47 17
1945 We're still working on the walking trot, but no one's ever said that dressage is easy. 1.2663 0.02827 323 247 66 10
1946 Best part is I get to use the HOV lane. 1.2661 0.02790 342 263 67 12
1947 Poor Tom! Jerry wins again! 1.2661 0.02967 327 255 57 15
1948 Sometimes you just need to take life by the reins. 1.2660 0.03237 282 221 47 14
1949 Don't want him gettin' curious. 1.2659 0.02829 346 268 64 14
1950 He's a little hard to train. 1.2659 0.02859 346 269 62 15
1951 He’s half Persian, half Trojan. 1.2659 0.02739 346 265 70 11
1952 I took a class in dressage at the local community college. 1.2659 0.03005 331 260 54 17
1953 As long as she doesn't get distracted it's a great ride. 1.2658 0.03001 316 246 56 14
1954 A lot cheaper than Lyft! 1.2657 0.02922 350 275 57 18
1955 Breaking him turned out to be pretty easy. The dog is next. 1.2656 0.03041 320 251 53 16
1956 It's better to be feared than to be liked. 1.2656 0.03105 320 253 49 18
1957 He's always been an overachiever 1.2656 0.02846 369 290 60 19
1958 I tried whispering but it was the blinders that worked. 1.2656 0.03001 305 236 57 12
1959 There's plenty of room inside the vehicle! 1.2654 0.03078 324 256 50 18
1960 Once you get the blinders on the rest is easy! 1.2654 0.02984 324 253 56 15
1961 Yeah, the saddle was the hard part. 1.2654 0.02984 324 253 56 15
1962 He's on the amends step. 1.2654 0.02984 358 285 51 22
1963 Save a horse ride a cat. 1.2653 0.03046 343 273 49 21
1964 They help him ignore the catcalls. 1.2653 0.03220 294 232 46 16
1965 What do you mean, Letterman’s new show doesn’t have Stupid Pet Tricks? 1.2653 0.02873 343 267 61 15
1966 It doesn’t have to be cruel. Start with bells. It calms them and makes them curious. 1.2652 0.03052 313 245 53 15
1967 That's called a blind date,my friends. 1.2651 0.02909 347 272 58 17
1968 When the cat abides, the mice will ride. 1.2651 0.02909 347 272 58 17
1969 Do not attempt this at home! I am a professional rider on a highly sedated (but unharmed) cat look-alike. 1.2651 0.03021 347 276 50 21
1970 I just told him I would build a fence to keep the neighbor's dog out, and now he does whatever I say! It's amazing! 1.2651 0.02851 347 270 62 15
1971 Her name is Duchess. She's a two year old with a nice, ambling gate. 1.2651 0.02909 347 272 58 17
1972 Blinders on him, a shot of deodorant on me, and he doesn't notice a thing. 1.2651 0.02966 347 274 54 19
1973 Took it in to my dealer on a peripheral vision recall notice. They installed the blinders and this baby is purring like a kitten. 1.2651 0.02904 332 258 60 14
1974 Your Lyft driver, Jerry, is here. Look for license plate TOM. 1.2651 0.02997 332 261 54 17
1975 There has to be a 3 mice cat-blind joke in here somewhere 1.2650 0.03059 317 249 52 16
1976 See, children, anything is possible when you overcome your fears. 1.2650 0.02993 317 247 56 14
1977 I told you he is a very kinky cat. 1.2650 0.03092 317 250 50 17
1978 It's the only sure way to get into a White House press conference. 1.2650 0.03249 317 255 40 22
1979 Dogs have owners, cats have staff, but we get the last laugh. 1.2650 0.03104 351 283 43 25
1980 We may be three blind mice, but at least we've got a seeing eye dog. 1.2650 0.03156 351 285 39 27
1981 Ever since I swapped out it’s catnip for some Vermont Purple Kush, this ride has been purrring like a kitten. 1.2650 0.02997 351 279 51 21
1982 Look! I told you I can do the catwalk. 1.2649 0.03174 336 271 41 24
1983 He's in charge of locating missing mice, but fails to see the irony. 1.2649 0.02942 336 263 57 16
1984 I learned how from Donald Trump 1.2648 0.03189 321 257 43 21
1985 Even his owners thanked me! 1.2648 0.03065 321 253 51 17
1986 In your world, this could be catastrophic. 1.2648 0.02868 321 247 63 11
1987 I'm just applying what I learned while in the Skinner box. 1.2647 0.03098 306 240 51 15
1988 This model is guaranteed not to eat you, or your money back! 1.2646 0.03101 325 258 48 19
1989 ... And I also heard the Model C is self cleaning! 1.2646 0.02976 325 254 56 15
1990 He's on anti-depressants. 1.2645 0.03010 344 273 51 20
1991 But you won’t believe the insurance bill on this beauty. 1.2645 0.03268 310 249 40 21
1992 I love coming out on the right side of Super Bowl bets. 1.2645 0.03104 310 244 50 16
1993 What he doesn't see isn't there 1.2645 0.02822 363 284 62 17
1994 Aaaah, the irony! 1.2643 0.02865 333 258 62 13
1995 It’s amazing the stuff you can find on Etsy. 1.2642 0.03145 299 235 49 15
1996 He thinks we're little dogs. 1.2642 0.02907 352 277 57 18
1997 I got the idea when the three of us were blind 1.2642 0.03209 318 255 42 21
1998 We're heading out for lunch. 1.2642 0.03083 318 251 50 17
1999 Let's see how he runs. 1.2642 0.03270 318 257 38 23
2000 One Blind Cat 1.2641 0.02994 337 266 53 18
2001 Looks like Dave is showing off his pussy again 1.2641 0.02994 337 266 53 18
2002 He met the Three Blind Mice in rehab and they rocked his world. 1.2641 0.03023 337 267 51 19
2003 Hey ladies, like my monster truck? 1.2641 0.03023 337 267 51 19
2004 Now don't try this at home kids. 1.2639 0.02940 341 268 56 17
2005 They are amazingly docile once you let them know who's boss! 1.2638 0.02968 326 255 56 15
2006 Very gentle once you get the bit in, but easily startled by pigeons. 1.2638 0.02936 326 254 58 14
2007 Always believe that your dreams can come true 1.2638 0.03062 326 258 50 18
2008 Sorry the three blind mice are over, I got a seeing eye cat. 1.2636 0.03036 330 261 51 18
2009 The salesman said I''ll be surprised by the small fuel requirements. 1.2636 0.03033 349 279 48 22
2010 You think this is tricky ? Next week I'm herding... 1.2635 0.02950 334 262 56 16
2011 I'm a cat whisperer by nature. 1.2633 0.03171 300 237 47 16
2012 Dogs just can't be mouse trained. 1.2633 0.03010 319 250 54 15
2013 They are actually quite docile once they are broken 1.2633 0.02943 319 248 58 13
2014 It's all about trust. 1.2633 0.03010 319 250 54 15
2015 I’ve heard the term “pussy-whipped”..... 1.2633 0.02957 338 266 55 17
2016 What, you've never heard the story of one blind cat? 1.2632 0.02783 342 264 66 12
2017 Snacks are on him. 1.2632 0.03013 361 290 47 24
2018 Edit the poem. 1.2630 0.02995 346 275 51 20
2019 Kitty up, boys! 1.2630 0.02881 346 271 59 16
2020 Pardon me you working class mice, but do you have any Grey Poupon? 1.2630 0.02991 327 257 54 16
2021 The election changed everything. Now mice are in charge! 1.2630 0.03022 327 258 52 17
2022 Slipped a mickey into his milk. 1.2629 0.02943 350 277 54 19
2023 Well, clearly, Whiskers is definitely codependent. 1.2628 0.02967 331 260 55 16
2024 See? I told you they were good for more than preening and pouting! 1.2628 0.02967 331 260 55 16
2025 Dressage has always been her dream. 1.2628 0.02985 312 243 56 13
2026 Hey, it worked for fleas, right? 1.2628 0.03087 312 246 50 16
2027 Three seeing mice and one blind cat. 1.2627 0.03062 335 267 48 20
2028 Guys, it’s like taking the train from Penn Station - only without the rats. 1.2627 0.02881 335 261 60 14
2029 Jump in, it worked for the Trojans! 1.2627 0.03027 316 248 53 15
2030 It's the old cat and mouse game. 1.2627 0.03027 316 248 53 15
2031 Don’t just stand there...pull out your iphones...took me years to break this Sumbitch. 1.2625 0.03093 339 272 45 22
2032 all I had to say was lower taxes. 1.2624 0.02954 343 271 54 18
2033 We bet on the election. He took red" 1.2624 0.02896 343 269 58 16
2034 It takes skill and technique to master the catwalk. 1.2624 0.02983 343 272 52 19
2035 All you have to do is get 'em hooked on Fox News. 1.2623 0.03201 305 243 44 18
2036 WRONG!!! Mice were never prey to cats”. #fakenew 1.2623 0.03133 305 241 48 16
2037 In the catdom of the blind, the one-eyed mouse is king. 1.2622 0.03106 328 262 46 20
2038 The GO button is when the dog shows up 1.2622 0.03106 328 262 46 20
2039 He's a catnip junkie. He'll do anything for a little taste. 1.2622 0.02701 370 287 69 14
2040 I prefer one blind cat. 1.2621 0.02823 351 274 62 15
2041 Of course, the blinders work; I bought him from a Chihuahua. 1.2621 0.02963 351 279 52 20
2042 Don't try this at home. 1.2620 0.03020 332 263 51 18
2043 I’m his comfort animal while we’re on rat patrol. 1.2620 0.03020 332 263 51 18
2044 Sometimes, you are the hammer, and other times, you are the nail. 1.2620 0.02959 332 261 55 16
2045 It's amazing what catnip can do. 1.2620 0.02942 313 243 58 12
2046 Arthur, you’re being taken for a ride! 1.2619 0.02843 336 261 62 13
2047 Hop On! Its mechanical. Meet ICat 1.2619 0.03083 336 269 46 21
2048 You approach from the left shoulder and hum softly. 1.2619 0.02843 336 261 62 13
2049 Roleplaying. 1.2618 0.02918 317 246 59 12
2050 This mouse-too movement is just awesome. 1.2618 0.03242 317 256 39 22
2051 Grab 'em by the tail. You can do anything. 1.2618 0.02911 340 267 57 16
2052 Optimism works 1.2617 0.02869 363 287 57 19
2053 He's really a pussycat! 1.2617 0.03025 321 253 52 16
2054 Promise them catnip and they'll do anything 1.2617 0.02993 321 252 54 15
2055 Grab them by the harness. You can do anything. 1.2617 0.03025 321 253 52 16
2056 Call me Ishmouse. 1.2616 0.03117 302 238 49 15
2057 That’s right! That’s right! Now I’m gonna pay a little visit to the farmer’s wife! 1.2615 0.02903 325 253 59 13
2058 And they said Lady Godiva went too far. 1.2614 0.02944 329 258 56 15
2059 It’s easy once you get the blindfold on. 1.2614 0.02901 352 278 56 18
2060 It’s reverse Darwinism 1.2613 0.02889 333 260 59 14
2061 He finally got him some pussy 1.2611 0.03167 314 251 44 19
2062 Believe it or not, this works on 46% of cats. 1.2611 0.02957 337 266 54 17
2063 They're actually earphones, but they keep slipping! 1.2611 0.02746 360 280 66 14
2064 I can take the HOV Lane this way. 1.2611 0.02774 360 281 64 15
2065 They say opposites attract 1.2610 0.03010 318 250 53 15
2066 It's all in the tone of your squeak! 1.2610 0.02910 318 247 59 12
2067 C'mon, we'll be the three mouse-cat-teers. 1.2610 0.03020 341 272 49 20
2068 He thinks I clean his litter box 1.2610 0.02963 341 270 53 18
2069 The fog comes in on little kitten feet, & so do I! 1.2609 0.03112 322 257 46 19
2070 Robin! Join me in the Catmobile. 1.2609 0.02822 345 269 62 14
2071 If I can get two of them to cooperate, I'm buying a stagecoach. 1.2607 0.02928 326 255 57 14
2072 You can lease one for an ounce of catnip a month. 1.2607 0.02992 326 257 53 16
2073 I have to stay where the cat can't see me 1.2606 0.02809 353 276 62 15
2074 I call him, " Tiger." 1.2606 0.02976 353 282 50 21
2075 I'm my way to see the farmer's wife. 1.2606 0.02967 330 260 54 16
2076 #Mewtoo. 1.2605 0.02871 357 282 57 18
2077 If she really was a lady she’d be riding side-saddle. 1.2605 0.03063 334 267 47 20
2078 She might be a short-hair but this baby can go 60 furlongs on a half tank of milk. 1.2605 0.03092 334 268 45 21
2079 Its only for a day. I bet on Disney, he bet on Comcast. 1.2605 0.03121 311 247 47 17
2080 Confront your fears, 1.2605 0.02879 311 240 61 10
2081 My other ride is a Buick. 1.2604 0.03007 361 291 46 24
2082 Completely safe—as long as I keep feeding him mice. 1.2604 0.02956 361 289 50 22
2083 He's OK for short hops, but not furlong. 1.2603 0.02960 315 246 56 13
2084 He'll drop me at the cheese shop, then come back for you 1.2603 0.02607 365 280 75 10
2085 He can't herd, true, but it's a start. 1.2602 0.02896 342 269 57 16
2086 It's OK for short trips, but the airlines remain blind to service cats 1.2602 0.02969 319 250 55 14
2087 And he always thinks inside of the box. 1.2601 0.02988 346 276 50 20
2088 Wouldn’t YOU really rather have a Cat-illac? 1.2601 0.02903 346 273 56 17
2089 Totally gentle! Just don’t let him see you. 1.2601 0.02977 323 254 54 15
2090 See you at the Wine & Cheese tonight ? 1.2600 0.02823 350 274 61 15
2091 Ignorance is bliss. 1.2600 0.02909 350 277 55 18
2092 She’s dropping me at home and will be right back for you. 1.2600 0.03073 350 283 43 24
2093 Can't wait to hear the ditty they write about this! 1.2599 0.02755 327 251 67 9
2094 No I didn't forget my clothes. I'm making a statement. 1.2599 0.03196 327 265 39 23
2095 Blinded by the mice. 1.2599 0.02914 354 281 54 19
2096 I did it with hypnosis, she thinks she’s a horse, and I’m a cowboy. 1.2599 0.03168 304 242 45 17
2097 Yes, but this here is a domesticated Meowstang. 1.2597 0.03140 308 245 46 17
2098 The bell was too noisy. 1.2597 0.02905 335 263 57 15
2099 Trained? He can walk a straight line through a laser light show. 1.2597 0.03055 335 268 47 20
2100 What the pussy doesn't see, the pussy doesn't know. 1.2596 0.02713 366 285 67 14
2101 Whatever it takes to get him to stop checking his email every couple blocks. 1.2595 0.02859 343 269 59 15
2102 Guys, Florida has banned greyhound racing. Now's our chance! 1.2595 0.02859 343 269 59 15
2103 It handles really well, and gets much better mpg than my old elephant. 1.2595 0.02947 343 272 53 18
2104 It’s only three grams of cheddar per mile. 1.2595 0.02918 343 271 55 17
2105 He thinks I’m a chipmunk. 1.2594 0.02860 320 248 61 11
2106 Magnificent creatures, aren't they? 1.2594 0.03058 320 254 49 17
2107 You guys can keep NYC. I'm going west! 1.2594 0.02748 347 269 66 12
2108 I can't believe how many meows to the gallon I get out this thing. 1.2593 0.03011 351 282 47 22
2109 Lyft has really lowered their standards. 1.2593 0.03218 297 237 43 17
2110 Serotonin! 1.2593 0.02998 297 231 55 11
2111 The elephant was bathing. 1.2593 0.03001 324 256 52 16
2112 We should take advantage of Feline Guilt. 1.2591 0.03068 328 262 47 19
2113 The fuel efficiency is incredible! 1.2591 0.03038 328 261 49 18
2114 No idea how this thing got into the house, but it's the best thing that ever happened to us! 1.2591 0.02976 328 259 53 16
2115 I'm off to herd cats. Do you know a better way to ensure our survival? 1.2591 0.02880 328 256 59 13
2116 Cat nip is now a controlled substance 1.2591 0.02774 359 281 63 15
2117 We're going for catnip and cheese. 1.2590 0.02889 332 260 58 14
2118 Never before seen episode of “Tom and Jerry”. 1.2590 0.02982 332 263 52 17
2119 Let's see how this baby runs after the farmer's wife. 1.2590 0.02982 332 263 52 17
2120 Getting the right-sized saddle was the hardest part! 1.2590 0.02951 332 262 54 16
2121 He'll do anything you want as long as you don't ignore him. 1.2589 0.02988 336 267 51 18
2122 If they can't see the reigns, eventually they'll forget that they're not making their own choices. 1.2588 0.03021 340 272 48 20
2123 She ate my entire family but now I get to work in half the time. 1.2588 0.02844 340 266 60 14
2124 Even cats can be trained, if we apply what we learned in the behavior modification lab. 1.2587 0.02911 344 272 55 17
2125 Wait 'til you get a load of my Seeing Eye dog. 1.2586 0.03113 321 257 45 19
2126 If wishes were horses, mice would ride. 1.2585 0.02837 352 277 59 16
2127 I'm already on my way to another pickup, but I'll swing back and pick you up in 5. 1.2585 0.03092 294 231 50 13
2128 Do not ask. 1.2584 0.03208 298 238 43 17
2129 Don’t dare call PETA 1.2583 0.03037 302 237 52 13
2130 who would've thought that lies, narcissism, deceit, arrogance , misogyny and ignorance would work so well? 1.2583 0.03208 333 272 36 25
2131 I got tired of being pussy whipped. 1.2582 0.03116 306 243 47 16
2132 You just have to sit him a little high in the saddle - but he purrs like crazy! 1.2582 0.02975 306 239 55 12
2133 We are going to make America great again. 1.2582 0.03180 337 275 37 25
2134 It’s all in the wrist! 1.2581 0.02806 341 266 62 13
2135 She said I'm her third jockey this week! 1.2581 0.03042 341 274 46 21
2136 And they say herding cats is tough... 1.2581 0.02744 341 264 66 11
2137 Yes, we can! 1.2580 0.03094 314 250 47 17
2138 Screw the bell! 1.2579 0.03068 318 253 48 17
2139 Image taken right before the three became visually impaired 1.2579 0.03132 318 255 44 19
2140 If they can’t see I’m taking away their healthcare they don’t get scared 1.2578 0.02914 353 281 53 19
2141 I'm tired of running 1.2578 0.02944 322 253 55 14
2142 Sweet! Now how will you get down? 1.2578 0.02844 322 250 61 11
2143 We were playing a game of "cat and mouse" and "cat" lost! 1.2578 0.02944 322 253 55 14
2144 He's been a delight ever since I found his stash of catnip. 1.2578 0.02977 322 254 53 15
2145 Just don't let the humans see you doing it. 1.2578 0.03196 322 261 39 22
2146 I had a donkey, but I prefer the double entendres I can use when I'm riding the pussy. 1.2577 0.03138 326 263 42 21
2147 Both Cubs and Red Sox won the World Series. Hell has frozen over. 1.2576 0.02816 361 285 59 17
2148 The trickiest part was getting the blinders on. 1.2576 0.02788 361 284 61 16
2149 A carrot won't work. Anybody want to volunteer? 1.2576 0.03111 330 266 43 21
2150 One blind cat,see how it runs ! 1.2576 0.02960 330 261 53 16
2151 Hop on! This is going to be one helleva Facebook video! 1.2575 0.03128 299 237 47 15
2152 The key is keeping him focused. 1.2575 0.03055 299 235 51 13
2153 Kitty up, partner, kitty up! 1.2575 0.02874 334 262 58 14
2154 Kitty Prozac, fellas. Nothing like life in the 21st Century." 1.2574 0.02918 303 235 58 10
2155 Just purr and she thinks you’re a kitten. 1.2574 0.02942 338 268 53 17
2156 Hypnosis really works 1.2574 0.02789 338 263 63 12
2157 As the French say, 'Ni vu, ni connu' 1.2574 0.03001 338 270 49 19
2158 What? I’m riding a cat. 1.2574 0.02972 338 269 51 18
2159 Its the new Mellow Meow Mix 1.2573 0.02919 342 271 54 17
2160 You hear "Three Blind Mice" enough times and eventually something clicks. 1.2572 0.02867 346 273 57 16
2161 You think maybe he's taking the exposure therapy a little too far? 1.2572 0.03009 346 278 47 21
2162 The hardest part is putting on the blinders. 1.2571 0.02847 315 244 61 10
2163 I finally got the dose right on the scopolamine, guys. And, his owner doesn’t suspect a thing. She thinks he’s just gone into a new level of aloofness. 1.2571 0.02961 319 251 54 14
2164 He’s looking for three blind mice 1.2569 0.02889 362 289 53 20
2165 No Collusion. . . . 1.2569 0.03100 327 263 44 20
2166 I'm pomp. He's circumstance.” 1.2569 0.02847 327 255 60 12
2167 Shhh 1.2568 0.02889 331 260 57 14
2168 Kittyup kittyup Buttercup. 1.2568 0.03111 296 234 48 14
2169 I'm getting ready for the Squeakness. 1.2567 0.02988 335 267 50 18
2170 It's CVR, Cat Virtual Reality. He thinks he's stalking me." 1.2566 0.02993 339 271 49 19
2171 You can purchase them from "Sharper Image". 1.2564 0.02862 312 242 60 10
2172 God forbid the three of us ever go blind! 1.2564 0.02978 351 282 48 21
2173 Wasn't hard, he was kinda a pussy. 1.2563 0.02954 355 285 49 21
2174 Hypnosis. 1.2561 0.02999 328 261 50 17
2175 I thought we were the ones that were supposed to be blind? 1.2561 0.03030 328 262 48 18
2176 I just read Cesar Millan's book on cats. 1.2560 0.03005 332 265 49 18
2177 And if you talk shit I'll take off the blinders 1.2560 0.02920 336 266 54 16
2178 It’s all about the art of the deal 1.2560 0.03039 336 270 46 20
2179 This one can leap up on kitchen counters easily. He gets a can of tuna and I get a bag of Cheetos! 1.2559 0.02837 340 267 59 14
2180 No, I don't want to see how you run. We all know what happens next. 1.2559 0.02956 340 271 51 18
2181 The biggest problem is finding outdoor litter boxes. 1.2559 0.02956 340 271 51 18
2182 But it’s so easy. All you have to do is download the app. 1.2558 0.02845 344 271 58 15
2183 Bell, hell! All we needed was a bridle and saddle. 1.2558 0.02990 344 276 48 20
2184 We just topped a million views. 1.2558 0.02933 344 274 52 18
2185 Yes, mice evangelicals, evolution is real. 1.2557 0.02773 352 276 62 14
2186 It beats the subway. 1.2557 0.02841 309 239 61 9
2187 You could do this, too, if you read "Who Moved My Cheese?" 1.2556 0.03128 313 251 44 18
2188 Just you watch, I'll find out who moved the cheese! 1.2556 0.03028 313 248 50 15
2189 Just some CDB oil and I promised him a hat. 1.2555 0.03036 317 252 49 16
2190 It's taking some doing, but she's starting to think like a dog. 1.2555 0.03002 317 251 51 15
2191 Who's up next? I need a break from herding cats. 1.2555 0.03105 321 258 44 19
2192 It's better than holding a grudge! 1.2554 0.02888 325 255 57 13
2193 I’m a paid professional. Don’t try this at home! 1.2554 0.03048 325 260 47 18
2194 You just have to let him know who's boss. 1.2553 0.02960 329 261 52 16
2195 If he comes back without me, that means I've probably been eaten. 1.2553 0.02842 333 261 59 13
2196 My shrink is the type who recommends strange support animals. 1.2552 0.03187 290 231 44 15
2197 I also wrote a song called "One blind cat". 1.2550 0.02845 349 276 57 16
2198 She's a hybrid, very efficient, and I got a great deal! 1.2550 0.02823 353 279 58 16
2199 He listens to a podcast about conquering fears once, and look at him now... 1.2549 0.03176 306 246 42 18
2200 Sure, it’s stylish, but paying for fuel is murder. 1.2548 0.03086 314 251 46 17
2201 Yeah it seems like a good idea now, but what's he going to do with it when he wants to go on vacation? 1.2547 0.03065 322 258 46 18
2202 Blackmail......works wonders. 1.2545 0.03044 330 265 46 19
2203 Tomfoolery is not for the timid. 1.2544 0.02905 338 268 54 16
2204 Remember when he used to just go in circles? 1.2543 0.02690 350 272 67 11
2205 Quick! Take a picture for Instagram! 1.2542 0.02730 354 277 64 13
2206 She purrs like a beaut. 1.2542 0.02795 358 283 59 16
2207 How's this for a fresh twist: 'One blind cat; see how it rides'? 1.2541 0.03166 307 247 42 18
2208 Adopt, adapt, & improve. 1.2540 0.02933 311 244 55 12
2209 It was Freud's suggestion. 1.2540 0.03175 315 255 40 20
2210 The meek shall inherit the earth 1.2539 0.02928 323 255 54 14
2211 Did you meet our new Uber driver? 1.2538 0.02968 327 260 51 16
2212 C'mon. We are "The Three Mouse-cat-eers." Let's ride. 1.2538 0.02937 327 259 53 15
2213 Don’t look so worried I’ve been taking lessons. 1.2538 0.02849 331 260 58 13
2214 Take away the blinkers and I'm a dead man. 1.2538 0.03036 331 266 46 19
2215 I haven’t the faintest idea how I got this far. 1.2538 0.02881 331 261 56 14
2216 Apparently the Lasix didn’t work. 1.2538 0.03006 331 265 48 18
2217 Can one of you check my blind spot? 1.2537 0.02890 335 265 55 15
2218 Stay behind us. 1.2537 0.02927 339 270 52 17
2219 I'm taking him to his litter 1.2535 0.02634 355 275 70 10
2220 Less litter than the subway! 1.2532 0.02913 308 241 56 11
2221 I bet he works for Jerry... 1.2532 0.03089 308 246 46 16
2222 He's like a little pussy cat in my hands. 1.2532 0.02853 312 243 59 10
2223 It's his kink. 1.2532 0.03226 312 254 37 21
2224 Did you see Dave's new Catallac? The engine really purrs. 1.2531 0.02911 320 252 55 13
2225 Eat my kitty litter. 1.2531 0.03048 324 260 46 18
2226 Budweiser has asked us to join their team 1.2530 0.02992 328 262 49 17
2227 As long as it doesn’t see, I’m it’s president! 1.2530 0.02992 328 262 49 17
2228 I told him we'd " Make the House Great Again". . 1.2530 0.02960 328 261 51 16
2229 Guess who won the midterms! 1.2530 0.03028 332 267 46 19
2230 Fetching feta,need anything? 1.2528 0.02766 352 277 61 14
2231 I got these blinders from a Trump supporter who thought she wouldn't need them after the election! 1.2525 0.03308 301 246 34 21
2232 Let's see how quick with the carving knife she is when it's darling Fluffy she's dealing with. 1.2525 0.03101 301 240 46 15
2233 The power of paws-itive thinking! 1.2524 0.03020 313 249 49 15
2234 This is the cat's meow! 1.2524 0.02994 317 252 50 15
2235 Dressage cats are just like dressage horses, only cheaper. 1.2524 0.02927 317 250 54 13
2236 Twenty-Five purrs to the gallon! 1.2523 0.03190 321 262 37 22
2237 You look surprised I went with the four-paw catallac. 1.2523 0.02824 329 258 59 12
2238 Hop on,it's the blind leading the blind. 1.2522 0.02935 337 269 51 17
2239 Three blind mice and a seeing eye dog. What could go wrong? 1.2522 0.03111 337 275 39 23
2240 It's my best-laid scheme yet! 1.2522 0.02912 341 272 52 17
2241 We're three mice with a blindered cat. What do you think of that? 1.2522 0.02852 341 270 56 15
2242 I'ts ok, if you don't mind a little cat hair. 1.2522 0.02708 345 269 65 11
2243 With the blinders on, he thinks I'm a very small dog. 1.2521 0.02924 349 280 50 19
2244 All it took was the blinders and a double dose of catnip. 1.2521 0.02795 357 283 58 16
2245 How you like me now? 1.2520 0.02653 369 289 67 13
2246 And you said we should put a bell on him. 1.2516 0.03072 310 248 46 16
2247 He doesn't know that he who rides the pussy cat cannot dismount. 1.2516 0.03037 310 247 48 15
2248 It's way more fun than the treadmill. 1.2516 0.02919 318 251 54 13
2249 He's a really good jumper! 1.2516 0.02961 322 256 51 15
2250 One pussycat in blinders, beats three mice blinded any day. 1.2516 0.03120 322 261 41 20
2251 It's faster than the A train. 1.2515 0.03032 326 262 46 18
2252 I'd rather be sailing on my turtle. 1.2515 0.03063 326 263 44 19
2253 If you ask politely and don't try to grab 'em . . . 1.2515 0.02881 330 261 55 14
2254 Hi, I'm Jeff and I'll be your Ub-fur driver today. 1.2515 0.02890 334 265 54 15
2255 It's pretty fuel efficient. 1.2515 0.02658 342 265 68 9
2256 Hey Steve, Larry. (Billy was happy to run into his High School bullies) Watch what happens when I remove these blinders. 1.2514 0.02852 346 275 55 16
2257 It took lots of treats. 1.2514 0.02793 346 273 59 14
2258 It is all about establishing yourself as the leader. 1.2514 0.02788 358 284 58 16
2259 Riding a cat you got to be kitten me! 1.2508 0.03102 295 235 46 14
2260 We have a deal. I get to ride for a week then I have to tell him where the mouse colony is. 1.2508 0.03029 311 248 48 15
2261 Is this a case of the blind, leading the blind? 1.2508 0.02935 315 249 53 13
2262 He's the last of the three blind cats. 1.2508 0.03069 315 253 45 17
2263 What does​ he eat?! 1.2508 0.03043 319 256 46 17
2264 If I took them off, I might be lunch. 1.2508 0.03010 319 255 48 16
2265 Mastering hot yoga is my next big goal. 1.2508 0.02985 323 258 49 16
2266 It's called empathy therapy. 1.2508 0.02961 327 261 50 16
2267 50 Shades of Gray Tabby 1.2508 0.03085 327 265 42 20
2268 Zipcat 1.2508 0.03054 327 264 44 19
2269 Those equestrian lessons finally came in handy. 1.2508 0.02905 331 263 53 15
2270 Don't worry, just stay behind the blinders. 1.2507 0.02851 335 265 56 14
2271 The headset makes him think he's in control. 1.2507 0.02974 335 269 48 18
2272 Look what I got with enhanced catnip! 1.2507 0.02950 339 272 49 18
2273 Gotta use the ‘blinders’ on her or else she gets distracted by the mice 1.2507 0.02920 339 271 51 17
2274 I got him from a CATalog 1.2507 0.03016 347 282 43 22
2275 I got a really good deal at Rent-A-Cat. 1.2507 0.02845 347 276 55 16
2276 I just need to attach the carriage and then the Central Park tourists will be all over this. 1.2507 0.02736 351 276 62 13
2277 It's kind of fun until we go to the sand beach in a box. 1.2500 0.02851 356 285 53 18
2278 I prefer, "English Style". 1.2500 0.02669 352 275 66 11
2279 If only my three brothers had thought of blinders,they'd be with us still. 1.2500 0.02860 344 274 54 16
2280 Irony is at the heart of control... 1.2500 0.02590 356 276 71 9
2281 It's all about core strength. 1.2500 0.02926 316 250 53 13
2282 What the hell is she feeding that cat? 1.2500 0.02738 356 281 61 14
2283 If humans can ride elephants, I can ride a cat. 1.2500 0.02736 332 259 63 10
2284 ...but he promises to support our social policies. 1.2500 0.03009 324 260 47 17
2285 He's house mouse trained. 1.2500 0.02843 336 266 56 14
2286 This is the new world order of the old cat and mouse game. 1.2500 0.02882 340 271 53 16
2287 I hypnotized him. At least I think I did. 1.2494 0.02602 385 303 68 14
2288 Her name is Chedder and she fetches. 1.2493 0.02956 361 294 44 23
2289 And no furballs either since he identifies as a horse! 1.2493 0.02894 353 284 50 19
2290 Doesn't work with the feral cats! 1.2493 0.02866 353 283 52 18
2291 I call him Google; he finds all my friends. 1.2493 0.02860 349 279 53 17
2292 It thinks it smells a rat. 1.2493 0.02681 349 273 65 11
2293 I bribed a Great Dane to put the blinders on him." 1.2493 0.02772 349 276 59 14
2294 I promised him a good meal. 1.2493 0.02860 349 279 53 17
2295 I'm steering him right to the cheese! 1.2493 0.02823 345 274 56 15
2296 If wishes were kitties, mousies would ride. 1.2493 0.02752 341 268 61 12
2297 One blind cat. One blind cat. 1.2493 0.02928 337 270 50 17
2298 He's a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch. 1.2493 0.02867 337 268 54 15
2299 This is going viral! 1.2493 0.02773 337 265 60 12
2300 Who knew it was all just visual stimulus and response? 1.2493 0.02836 337 267 56 14
2301 He thinks the self is an illusion. 1.2492 0.02921 333 266 51 16
2302 We took out the dog. 1.2492 0.02952 333 267 49 17
2303 Easy as getting the cheese off the trap once you get them trained. 1.2492 0.02913 329 262 52 15
2304 She prefers hunting virtual mice now. 1.2492 0.02969 325 260 49 16
2305 His name is Se-cat-tariat 1.2492 0.02770 325 254 61 10
2306 This virtual reality headset is a blast. I've got the cat thinking he's Secretariat! 1.2492 0.02994 321 257 48 16
2307 Belling" is for amateurs 1.2492 0.02952 317 252 51 14
2308 It was easy. I just convinced him that I'm an optometrist. 1.2492 0.03019 317 254 47 16
2309 This is how *I* play `cat and mouse.' 1.2492 0.02918 317 251 53 13
2310 Don't be scared. He's a real pussycat! 1.2492 0.03064 305 244 46 15
2311 Haven't you heard of herding cats? It's more than a metaphor. 1.2491 0.03178 289 232 42 15
2312 I'll be back in time for cheese 1.2486 0.02859 354 284 52 18
2313 It's like the White House. He doesn't know where he's going either, so we might as well have some fun. 1.2485 0.02968 330 265 48 17
2314 new uber ap 1.2485 0.03029 330 267 44 19
2315 What are the odds on returning from a practice run 1.2485 0.02896 326 259 53 14
2316 And they say WE'RE blind! 1.2484 0.03050 322 260 44 18
2317 This time the cat runs after the farmer's wife. 1.2484 0.02887 322 255 54 13
2318 They're a bitch to break, but easy to clean up after. 1.2484 0.02841 318 250 57 11
2319 I got fed up with our vapid, pointless existence. So I've decided to join the rat race! 1.2484 0.02734 318 247 63 8
2320 I got the idea from something the President said... 1.2484 0.03103 314 254 42 18
2321 It's easy - just stay out of the cat's mouth. 1.2480 0.02794 371 298 54 19
2322 It's actually quite safe as long as the blinders stay on. 1.2480 0.02633 371 292 66 13
2323 Yes, they are recycled headphones. He loves Cat Stevens, too. 1.2479 0.02708 355 280 62 13
2324 My parents wouldn’t let me ride one when I was a teenager, they thought they were too dangerous. 1.2479 0.02637 351 274 67 10
2325 Think of it as a Cat & Mouse game ... and we won! 1.2478 0.02942 339 273 48 18
2326 I've got $200 on Fluffy. 1.2477 0.02833 331 262 56 13
2327 I hope that doesn’t turn out to be catastrophic. 1.2477 0.02991 331 267 46 18
2328 It's easy once you let them know who's BOSS! 1.2477 0.02686 327 254 65 8
2329 Oh Alice. Don’t look. That Jerry is such a show off. 1.2475 0.03073 303 243 45 15
2330 See? There's still hope we can live in peace. 1.2475 0.03001 303 241 49 13
2331 If you guys ever read 'Dune', you'd totally get this. 1.2474 0.02592 380 299 68 13
2332 I wanted something clean with paws-itraction. 1.2473 0.02802 364 292 54 18
2333 We’re going out to get some proper Cat Food”. 1.2471 0.02771 348 276 58 14
2334 And you get frequent rider points, too! 1.2471 0.02741 348 275 60 13
2335 Take a lesson from humans and enslave your predators! 1.2471 0.02888 348 280 50 18
2336 He's terrible at herding. 1.2471 0.02822 344 274 55 15
2337 First time here? 1.2471 0.02844 340 271 54 15
2338 It's called one blind cat. Want to play? 1.2470 0.03131 332 273 36 23
2339 He wants to be friends now and has invited us to a family picnic. 1.2470 0.03013 332 269 44 19
2340 Later, friends. I'm off to the airport to fly my private owl. 1.2470 0.02976 328 264 47 17
2341 I’m on a cat. 1.2469 0.03095 324 264 40 20
2342 It's the latest hybrid. 1.2469 0.02969 324 260 48 16
2343 The blind leading the blind never felt so empowering! 1.2469 0.02961 320 256 49 15
2344 I'm not going to race him...I'm going to put him out to stud. 1.2468 0.03038 308 247 46 15
2345 Improvise, Adapt and Overcome! 1.2467 0.02993 304 242 49 13
2346 Pavlovian conditioning works for cats too, guys. 1.2466 0.03120 296 238 43 15
2347 C'mon! Uber Pool is cheaper. 1.2465 0.02705 361 286 61 14
2348 Nothing like the blind leading the blind! 1.2465 0.02865 357 288 50 19
2349 I just have to remember never to remove his blinders ... or step in front of him. 1.2465 0.02781 357 285 56 16
2350 The reins are just for looks, as you can probably imagine. 1.2465 0.02831 353 283 53 17
2351 I got my inspiration from a Trump rally. 1.2464 0.03017 345 282 41 22
2352 They're easier to train than you think... 1.2464 0.02755 345 273 59 13
2353 The saddle was the biggest challenge. 1.2463 0.02867 341 273 52 16
2354 With the blinders on, he thinks I’m Lady Godiva! 1.2463 0.02775 341 270 58 13
2355 I'm gonna see how he runs. 1.2463 0.02713 341 268 62 11
2356 Hop on boys we're going to the Cheese Factory! 1.2463 0.02890 337 270 51 16
2357 Did you expect him to ride me? 1.2462 0.02944 333 268 48 17
2358 It's not really that hard. They come out of the bag like this. 1.2462 0.02720 333 261 62 10
2359 One blind cat, see how he walks! 1.2462 0.02796 325 256 58 11
2360 These Fat Cats are easy to ride, especially with blinders on. After all, they voted for “you know who” that way! 1.2462 0.03024 325 263 44 18
2361 Like I said, dressage is my favorite cat and mouse game. 1.2461 0.02920 321 256 51 14
2362 It's the little things that help us overcome the Three Blind Mice stigma. 1.2461 0.03082 321 261 41 19
2363 Don’t worry, he’s a Trump supporter. 1.2461 0.03172 317 260 36 21
2364 What? You never saw a mouse riding a cat before? 1.2461 0.02910 317 252 52 13
2365 This one's just a lease, I'm thinking of trading it in for an electric model. Maybe a Roomba. 1.2461 0.02875 317 251 54 12
2366 It’s pretty simple; I played the, “I identify as...” card. 1.2460 0.02887 309 244 54 11
2367 I'm his dominatrix - he pays me to for the ride! 1.2460 0.03131 309 251 40 18
2368 Tell our mother I have joined the `Can't We Just Get Along' movement. 1.2460 0.03063 309 249 44 16
2369 Transcendental meditation wørks." 1.2459 0.02821 370 299 51 20
2370 Somehow I just don't feel comfortable about this. 1.2458 0.02717 358 284 60 14
2371 He has difficulty remaining focused. 1.2458 0.02659 358 282 64 12
2372 ...Yadda, yadda, yadda, now I can’t get down. 1.2458 0.02858 358 289 50 19
2373 Catnip goes a long way! 1.2458 0.02922 297 234 53 10
2374 The previous owner got eaten alive, but I think this baby purrs. 1.2458 0.03036 297 237 47 13
2375 In “The Art of the Deal” it said if you repeat anything five times, your wish is their command. 1.2457 0.02845 350 281 52 17
2376 There are none so blind as those who will not see 1.2457 0.02808 346 276 55 15
2377 Got the idea from a nursery rhyme. 1.2456 0.02852 338 270 53 15
2378 I'm training him to hunt for cheese. 1.2456 0.02789 338 268 57 13
2379 I’m no longer afraid to drive at night. 1.2456 0.02852 338 270 53 15
2380 The Taming of the Meow. 1.2455 0.02843 334 266 54 14
2381 Beats the hell out of a bell. 1.2455 0.02713 334 262 62 10
2382 All you have to do is out-sociopath them. 1.2455 0.02929 330 265 49 16
2383 Just submitted his DNA to Ancestry.com. Turns out he’s 164th Lipizzaner. 1.2454 0.03047 326 265 42 19
2384 Its all about making your enemy your friend. 1.2453 0.02977 322 259 47 16
2385 It makes great time with the right nap suppressant. 1.2453 0.03002 318 256 46 16
2386 So much for three blind mice. 1.2452 0.03095 314 255 41 18
2387 In case you were wondering how Tom and Jerry ended. 1.2452 0.02950 310 247 50 13
2388 We're looking into alternative fuel sources. 1.2451 0.02844 355 286 51 18
2389 He told me he's a seeing eye dog. 1.2451 0.02844 355 286 51 18
2390 Domestication is the key to household harmony 1.2450 0.03027 298 238 47 13
2391 What do you mean, "Get off your high horse?" 1.2450 0.02889 347 280 49 18
2392 It is eco-friendly transport. Unfortunately, the current model only runs on mice. 1.2450 0.02860 347 279 51 17
2393 I'll go get the other two. 1.2446 0.02747 327 257 60 10
2394 Do you like my new ride? It was touch and go at first. 1.2446 0.02592 372 293 67 12
2395 meow 1.2446 0.03210 278 224 40 14
2396 I was inspired by the infamous Access Hollywood tape! 1.2446 0.03096 323 264 39 20
2397 I'd wait before buying one. They're working on a model that drives itself. 1.2446 0.02802 323 255 57 11
2398 IT WORKS AS LONG AS THE BLINDERS DON'T FALL OFF 1.2445 0.02768 364 292 55 17
2399 I just tell him that we're going mouse hunting. 1.2444 0.02906 311 247 52 12
2400 Haven't you been watching the news? All the rules are out the window. 1.2444 0.02977 311 249 48 14
2401 I finally tamed the beast. 1.2443 0.02831 352 283 52 17
2402 I know this looks impressive, but he gets to eat me after this. 1.2443 0.02887 352 285 48 19
2403 Their therapist told them to "switch it up" every once in a while. 1.2443 0.02887 352 285 48 19
2404 We're not quite ready to "come out." 1.2443 0.02852 348 280 51 17
2405 I convinced him I would help protect his sunny spot from illegal immigrants. 1.2442 0.03028 303 243 46 14
2406 He thinks we’re blind and and wants to level the playing field.” 1.2442 0.02723 344 272 60 12
2407 What happens when you encounter another cat? 1.2442 0.02723 344 272 60 12
2408 It's a new strain of catnip, but it pulls to the left a little. 1.2441 0.02837 340 272 53 15
2409 He's all cat no cattle. 1.2441 0.03072 340 280 37 23
2410 'Man Bites Dog' is soooooo 5 minutes ago. 1.2440 0.02827 336 268 54 14
2411 Belling the cat was not enough of a challenge! 1.2440 0.03035 332 271 41 20
2412 She let me grab her 1.2440 0.02913 332 267 49 16
2413 She works great... but I wouldn't recommend looking under the hood! 1.2439 0.02905 328 263 50 15
2414 It's no longer a big deal now that a gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas. 1.2439 0.02968 328 265 46 17
2415 They updated the “Game of Cat and Mouse” rules to be more equitable. 1.2439 0.02905 328 263 50 15
2416 He's a three-year old. I'm entering him in the Purrness . 1.2439 0.02660 369 293 62 14
2417 Breaking her was the hard part. 1.2438 0.02678 365 290 61 14
2418 With blinders, she offers a smooth, sustained ride with plenty of reserve power. 1.2438 0.02993 324 262 45 17
2419 They are domesticated after all. 1.2438 0.02640 361 285 64 12
2420 Rodeo at the litter box at eight. 1.2437 0.02782 320 252 58 10
2421 The maze doesn’t stand a chance. 1.2437 0.02885 320 255 52 13
2422 Get a dog. 1.2437 0.02909 316 252 51 13
2423 Next we’re getting the dog, but that should be easier. 1.2437 0.03011 316 255 45 16
2424 I never thought I’d tame my fear of heights! 1.2436 0.02852 353 285 50 18
2425 I looked it up on WikiHow. 1.2436 0.02826 312 246 56 10
2426 We won the midterms! 1.2436 0.02816 349 280 53 16
2427 Today, the cat. Tomorrow, still the cat. 1.2435 0.02808 345 276 54 15
2428 It's a great deal! A romantic tour all around Central Park, and then he eats you. 1.2435 0.02896 345 279 48 18
2429 He's got the inside rail in the rat race. 1.2434 0.03228 304 250 34 20
2430 Once you break them in, it's a piece of cake 1.2434 0.02829 341 273 53 15
2431 I got the idea from a song about us mice. 1.2433 0.03083 300 242 43 15
2432 You ought to try this hypnosis app.. 1.2433 0.02934 300 238 51 11
2433 Everything’s easy once you install the blinders. 1.2433 0.02692 337 265 62 10
2434 We're safe. Out of sight, out of mind. 1.2433 0.02608 374 296 65 13
2435 I think Jerry's new gig as a dominatrix is working out 1.2432 0.02874 333 267 51 15
2436 I'm the president, and you're not." 1.2432 0.02835 366 297 49 20
2437 It's cool: if I don't squeak, he don't peak. 1.2432 0.02960 329 266 46 17
2438 Please vote for this caption so I can finally win the contest. 1.2432 0.03391 292 243 27 22
2439 I'm going after Mickey. Minnie will be mine. 1.2431 0.02985 325 263 45 17
2440 I named him "One-Blind-Cat". 1.2431 0.02953 325 262 47 16
2441 If you give a cat a cookie, it can lead to some pretty crazy things. 1.2431 0.02888 325 260 51 14
2442 It's Cat and Mouse 2.0. Big upgrade. 1.2430 0.02977 321 259 46 16
2443 I just tell him he's Best of Show 1.2429 0.02935 317 254 49 14
2444 She’s blind too 1.2429 0.02866 317 252 53 12
2445 It's already cut my daily commuting time in half! 1.2429 0.02720 350 278 59 13
2446 Of course it's safe. With the blinders, he doesn't even know you're a mouse. 1.2427 0.02914 309 246 51 12
2447 This might be taking conspicuous consumption a bit too far 1.2426 0.03046 305 246 44 15
2448 Oh, please. Everyone's complicit in something these days. 1.2426 0.02901 305 242 52 11
2449 It's a whole new world, fellas! Let's go to the kitchen. 1.2426 0.02864 305 241 54 10
2450 Confidence is all, just confidence. 1.2426 0.02781 338 269 56 13
2451 Much better than being the underdog ! 1.2425 0.02866 334 268 51 15
2452 He's a real pussy cat when you get to know him. 1.2425 0.02705 334 263 61 10
2453 It is the blinders. He thinks I am yarn. 1.2424 0.02889 330 265 50 15
2454 I'm calling it an Aston Meowrtin. 1.2423 0.02944 326 263 47 16
2455 He's giving me a ride and he's promised not to eat me. 1.2422 0.02869 322 257 52 13
2456 The trick is to get Fluffy to chase a laser pointer for the whole mile at Aquaduct. 1.2421 0.02927 318 255 49 14
2457 I just signed up to be a driver with Meuber 1.2421 0.02927 318 255 49 14
2458 With the blinders he's just a pussy cat. 1.2421 0.02671 347 274 62 11
2459 Apparently I'm the same size as his jockey..... 1.2421 0.02823 347 279 52 16
2460 Don't get cocky! Who knows what will happen when the clock strikes 12! 1.2421 0.02823 347 279 52 16
2461 I told you that bachelor party video would come in handy one day. 1.2421 0.02938 347 283 44 20
2462 Yippee-ki-yay, Motherfuckers! 1.2419 0.03044 339 279 38 22
2463 Very low carbon, except for the non-vegetarian thing. 1.2419 0.02678 339 267 62 10
2464 Jerry won this time 1.2418 0.02966 306 245 48 13
2465 Now hand over your cheese, nice and slow! 1.2418 0.02649 364 289 62 13
2466 Haven't you heard? Uber is downsizing. 1.2418 0.02815 364 295 50 19
2467 Now we're working on the dressage training 1.2416 0.02839 327 261 53 13
2468 Last week's three caption finalists, were so bad, even my cat didn't want to see them. 1.2416 0.03061 327 268 39 20
2469 When it comes down to it...they're just little pussies. 1.2415 0.02993 323 262 44 17
2470 Better than three blind mice. 1.2415 0.02928 323 260 48 15
2471 It's great transportation but feeding him could be a problem... 1.2415 0.03025 323 263 42 18
2472 This is as close to driverless as I want to get. 1.2415 0.02862 323 258 52 13
2473 If you stay away from their bellies they're surprisingly docile 1.2414 0.02816 348 280 52 16
2474 She's a big pussy cat. 1.2413 0.02807 344 276 53 15
2475 It’s easier than it looks 1.2412 0.02671 340 268 62 10
2476 We're building an alliance against our better judgement! 1.2412 0.02767 340 271 56 13
2477 He thinks he's a dog 1.2411 0.02699 365 292 58 15
2478 You can do some rather incredible things when you are rich! 1.2411 0.03003 336 275 41 20
2479 We're on the verge of a whole new world, my good gentlemice... 1.2411 0.02788 336 268 55 13
2480 I told you guys the mind manipulation books I read would pay off. 1.2410 0.03063 307 249 42 16
2481 L’important c’est d’essayer! 1.2410 0.02809 332 265 54 13
2482 as long as he wears the blinders, I'm safe. 1.2409 0.02864 328 263 51 14
2483 What he can't see sets us free! 1.2409 0.03022 328 268 41 19
2484 It’s just a matter of showing them who’s boss. 1.2409 0.02798 328 261 55 12
2485 Even the cat-and-mouse game suffers from too much political correctness these days. 1.2407 0.02952 324 262 46 16
2486 One blind cat. See how it rides! 1.2406 0.02800 345 277 53 15
2487 My car ate a bird today. 1.2405 0.02904 291 230 52 9
2488 You may now play. 1.2405 0.02935 316 254 48 14
2489 Now boarding Group 2. Welcome aboard. 1.2404 0.02959 312 251 47 14
2490 That's in poor taste. Please call it a cat. 1.2404 0.02874 337 272 49 16
2491 As long as he can’t see behind him you’re allright. 1.2404 0.02935 337 274 45 18
2492 What, you’ve never seen a cat herder before? 1.2404 0.02716 337 267 59 11
2493 He thinks I'm Andrew Lloyd Webber. 1.2402 0.02866 333 268 50 15
2494 And if things start to go at all sideways, you just say 'kitty up!' 1.2402 0.02769 333 265 56 12
2495 It's not what you know, but who you know. 1.2401 0.02974 304 244 47 13
2496 No...he has the blinders on...not me! 1.2401 0.02837 354 287 49 18
2497 See how she runs? See how she runs? 1.2400 0.03037 300 242 44 14
2498 Power trip! 1.2400 0.02879 325 261 50 14
2499 You should try Zoober. I took a hawk last week to that hole in the wall bar. 1.2400 0.02846 325 260 52 13
2500 He thinks i'm a hamster 1.2400 0.02620 350 276 64 10
2501 When I fell off the turnip truck, this kind fellow said he'd take me to my final destination! 1.2399 0.02852 346 280 49 17
2502 I met her while going door-to-door for PETA. 1.2399 0.02701 346 275 59 12
2503 They're remarkably task oriented. 1.2399 0.02793 346 278 53 15
2504 Uber!! It's not just for the big beings anymore!! 1.2399 0.02869 321 257 51 13
2505 I'm looking for his two blind brothers 1.2399 0.03138 296 241 39 16
2506 He's such a pussy-cat! 1.2398 0.02844 342 276 50 16
2507 I'm the best catwalker there is. 1.2398 0.02625 342 269 64 9
2508 So cool, the dogs up the street sell them! 1.2398 0.02933 342 279 44 19
2509 Hey Guys! And you thought politicians made strange bedfellows. 1.2398 0.02783 342 274 54 14
2510 Another case of someone with a tiny brain leading the charge while those carrying the burden are blinded to the consequences. 1.2396 0.02897 338 274 47 17
2511 She thinks she's a Lipizzaner. 1.2396 0.02897 338 274 47 17
2512 Will you please stop with the cat and mouse games and get back to work! 1.2396 0.02643 338 266 63 9
2513 I'd give you a ride in the carriage, but we had an incident at the litterbox this morning. 1.2395 0.02858 334 269 50 15
2514 One blindered cat! One blindered cat! See how it runs! See how it runs! 1.2395 0.02904 309 247 50 12
2515 ‘He’ll do anything for a bit of catnip’ 1.2395 0.02940 309 248 48 13
2516 Oh, I put them on when he's sleeping. The tricky part is taking them off when he's awake! 1.2394 0.02686 355 283 59 13
2517 It gets great mileage. 1.2394 0.02773 355 286 53 16
2518 Hey, our blindness is cured and our tails have grown back. It's time we taught the farmer's wife and her cat a lesson! 1.2393 0.03062 326 268 38 20
2519 Just takes a little catnip. 1.2393 0.02736 326 258 58 10
2520 If he can't see you, he can't chase you! 1.2393 0.02805 326 260 54 12
2521 It's an upgrade on the old cat and mouse game. 1.2393 0.02904 326 263 48 15
2522 And people said we'd never take down the catriarchy... 1.2393 0.02805 326 260 54 12
2523 I think the sense of power may go to my head. 1.2392 0.02916 301 240 50 11
2524 It's not the story, it's the way you tell it. 1.2392 0.02785 347 279 53 15
2525 This is my new pet cat that I just found in an alley. Do you know what it eats? 1.2391 0.02861 322 258 51 13
2526 We're going for instagram famous. 1.2391 0.02837 343 277 50 16
2527 "If he becomes curious, you know what happens..." 1.2391 0.02862 297 235 53 9
2528 It's kink, sure, but it's kink on his terms. 1.2391 0.02941 297 237 49 11
2529 It takes one to herd them. 1.2390 0.02884 318 255 50 13
2530 You girls come around here often? 1.2389 0.02828 339 273 51 15
2531 I am an ecatstrian 1.2389 0.03120 293 238 40 15
2532 With the blinders on he thinks I'm a tiger 1.2388 0.02850 335 270 50 15
2533 Did you request an UberKITTEN? 1.2388 0.02787 335 268 54 13
2534 Hey fellas check it out, the family that just moved in is from Portland! 1.2387 0.02967 331 270 43 18
2535 Just call me the cat's meow. 1.2386 0.03028 306 248 43 15
2536 I’ve been watching “The Cat Whisperer.” 1.2385 0.02763 327 260 56 11
2537 Either I need to give him another gummy in the next hour or get the hell out of Dodge. 1.2385 0.02797 327 261 54 12
2538 He's a lot cheaper than Uber! 1.2385 0.02859 369 303 44 22
2539 Tra la la, the times they are a-changing! 1.2384 0.02750 323 256 57 10
2540 Next stop is Katmandu. 1.2384 0.02886 323 260 49 14
2541 It´s so much easier, since everyone is vegan. 1.2384 0.02785 323 257 55 11
2542 The secret is spiked catnip. 1.2384 0.02859 344 279 48 17
2543 No, you're thinking of the frog and the crocodile. 1.2384 0.02675 344 273 60 11
2544 It ate my mother in the process but well worth it 1.2383 0.03045 298 241 43 14
2545 I just try not to make any sharp turns 1.2382 0.02944 319 258 46 15
2546 Turns out we both enjoy primitive American guitar. 1.2382 0.02739 361 291 54 16
2547 C'mon! It's our new act! One Blind Cat. 1.2381 0.02934 315 254 47 14
2548 Forget cat and mouse. I like to think of it as mouse and cat. 1.2381 0.03002 315 256 43 16
2549 I call it my blind cat bluff. 1.2381 0.02779 336 269 54 13
2550 I won! 1.2381 0.02747 336 268 56 12
2551 It’s all in the knees. 1.2380 0.02809 353 286 50 17
2552 The party was great, no one got eaten. 1.2380 0.02780 353 285 52 16
2553 Roy", I said, "You had Trigger, Buttermilk, and Bullet all stuffed when they died, so what about Fluffy? 1.2380 0.02959 332 271 43 18
2554 This is how I win elections. 1.2380 0.02989 332 272 41 19
2555 Win!? I'll be happy if we're not a late scratch. 1.2380 0.02801 332 266 53 13
2556 Who said, “Nancy, that fat cat will never let you take control of the House?” 1.2380 0.02989 332 272 41 19
2557 It's her peripheral vision which makes her want to eat us. 1.2380 0.02865 332 268 49 15
2558 I don't know why Jerry can't seem to get his under control. 1.2379 0.02993 311 252 44 15
2559 It's fine. I'm replacable. 1.2378 0.02855 328 264 50 14
2560 Rodent Cowboy 1.2378 0.02722 328 260 58 10
2561 This sure beats Uber. 1.2378 0.03089 307 251 39 17
2562 The Mouse Too Movement 1.2378 0.03019 307 249 43 15
2563 Yeah, that’s right, I’m a riding a cat. 1.2377 0.02792 345 278 52 15
2564 Next stop: Royal Ascat 1.2377 0.03008 324 265 41 18
2565 My trainer recommended the blinders. 1.2375 0.02782 341 274 53 14
2566 El Trojan Gato...... 1.2375 0.02720 341 272 57 12
2567 Apparently he self identifies as a gently mare. 1.2375 0.02902 320 258 48 14
2568 Hop on-board - we'll become a new cool nursery rhyme" 1.2374 0.02740 337 269 56 12
2569 Three blind...who? 1.2373 0.02773 354 286 52 16
2570 And you guys made fun of my Tony Robbins class. 1.2372 0.02793 333 267 53 13
2571 I've convinced him that he's a thoroughbred and I'm the only jockey that can take him to the winners circle 1.2372 0.02857 333 269 49 15
2572 My car broke down. 1.2371 0.02704 350 280 57 13
2573 The blinders? They're required after cat-a-rat surgery. 1.2371 0.02793 350 283 51 16
2574 Looks like there’s only two blind mice now. 1.2371 0.02815 329 264 52 13
2575 The origin of the word "CATastrophe" 1.2371 0.02944 329 268 44 17
2576 They really have a bad rep. They're actually quite easily trained. 1.2370 0.02724 346 277 56 13
2577 He’s blind to my scent since his tail got shut in the cupboard door . 1.2370 0.02785 346 279 52 15
2578 He has a lot of pep for a gelding. 1.2369 0.02936 325 264 45 16
2579 I told you that if we made a longterm plan we could reverse the oppression. 1.2369 0.02769 325 259 55 11
2580 'I let him eat Mickey and here I am!' 1.2369 0.02808 363 296 48 19
2581 Three sighted mice. Three sighted mice. See how they ride. See how they ride. They all went off with the farmer's cat because he was blind as a bat. Did you ever think you would see something like that? Three sighted mice. 1.2368 0.02896 342 279 45 18
2582 Don't worry. He can't see you. 1.2368 0.02583 342 269 65 8
2583 It's better than being eaten. 1.2368 0.02688 359 288 57 14
2584 This will work as long as the blinders stay on. 1.2365 0.02636 351 279 61 11
2585 You wanna see me ride this pussy bareback? 1.2364 0.03078 313 257 38 18
2586 Well, look at me now Lucy! I bet you're now starting to regret leaving me for Jared. 1.2364 0.02872 330 267 48 15
2587 I'LL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE. 1.2363 0.02747 347 279 54 14
2588 Do you like my Uber? 1.2363 0.02686 347 277 58 12
2589 I convinced him that he was a horse 1.2363 0.02837 347 282 48 17
2590 We still don't know who tamed who. 1.2362 0.02895 309 248 49 12
2591 This is not my first time at the rodeo 1.2362 0.03002 309 251 43 15
2592 It's the blinders - she thinks they look like Ray-Ban Aviators. 1.2362 0.02960 326 266 43 17
2593 I figured if you can't beat 'em, you ride 'em 1.2362 0.02642 343 272 61 10
2594 Trust me, you will want to maintain your position on the periphery while he demonstrates the canter. 1.2362 0.02674 343 273 59 11
2595 It's more fun than tying a bell around his neck. 1.2362 0.02674 343 273 59 11
2596 Why the funny look? It’s not like he can ride me! 1.2361 0.02682 360 289 57 14
2597 I'm telling you guys, it's purrrrrrrrectly safe. 1.2361 0.02682 360 289 57 14
2598 Certainly you've heard of the tail wagging the dog. 1.2361 0.02882 305 244 50 11
2599 The hard part was convincing him he’s a horse” (And the second hardest part is logging into the New Yorker’s website 1.2360 0.03049 322 265 38 19
2600 HEY GUYS! LOOK AT ME! I'M MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! 1.2360 0.02941 339 278 42 19
2601 A cat, a cat, my kingdom for a cat. 1.2360 0.02820 339 274 50 15
2602 Way easier than belling it... 1.2360 0.02701 356 286 56 14
2603 You would be surprised what a little cat nip and fancy feast will do. I am off to the races. 1.2359 0.02934 284 226 49 9
2604 The power of positive thinking—and blackmail. 1.2359 0.03055 301 245 41 15
2605 He's great at pouncing, but not so good on turns. 1.2358 0.02733 318 252 57 9
2606 I’ve got forty head of cat out back. Driving them straight to the pound at daybreak. 1.2358 0.02805 318 254 53 11
2607 She likes to relax before a meal. 1.2358 0.03010 318 260 41 17
2608 Yep, just like mama said; 'You can lead a cat to the litter box, but better hold on real tight when you get there'. 1.2358 0.02977 318 259 43 16
2609 Mousus Aurelius 1.2358 0.02842 335 271 49 15
2610 If you focus their attention, they’re easy to herd. 1.2358 0.02842 335 271 49 15
2611 Let's rewrite history! Three blind cats is the new narrative. 1.2358 0.02810 335 270 51 14
2612 Never thought I'd break a cat. 1.2358 0.02774 369 301 49 19
2613 We're on our way to Dresssage class. 1.2357 0.02931 297 238 48 11
2614 Just grab ‘em by the _____and they’ll go wherever you want. 1.2356 0.02928 331 270 44 17
2615 To hell with the three blind mice shtick. 1.2356 0.02864 331 268 48 15
2616 Easy once I got the blinders on. 1.2356 0.02734 331 264 56 11
2617 We're headed to the pantry for catnip and, perhaps, a small wheel of cheddar. 1.2356 0.02734 331 264 56 11
2618 Blackmail my friends. Blackmail 1.2355 0.03014 327 269 39 19
2619 He thinks blinders relieve his anxiety 1.2355 0.02855 327 264 49 14
2620 I watched a "how to dominate your cat" video on YouTube. 1.2355 0.02761 344 277 53 14
2621 She's self driving believe it or not. 1.2355 0.02699 344 275 57 12
2622 It's called an iMind; it has music, muzzle and peripheral blinders. Best invention since sliced cheese. 1.2353 0.02944 323 263 44 16
2623 Once you bell the cat, the rest is easy. 1.2353 0.02911 323 262 46 15
2624 It's my new catbriolet. 1.2353 0.02843 340 276 48 16
2625 We call him American Feral. 1.2353 0.02844 323 260 50 13
2626 It's great, except for her nap time. 1.2351 0.02673 336 267 59 10
2627 It's the classic game of mouse on cat. 1.2351 0.02896 336 274 45 17
2628 The mouse and cat games, you mean. 1.2351 0.02726 319 253 57 9
2629 we won the house didn't we 1.2351 0.03081 302 247 39 16
2630 payback time for that stupid three blind mice song 1.2350 0.02822 349 284 48 17
2631 He's all cat and no cattle. 1.2349 0.02888 332 270 46 16
2632 Hey guys, this horse says he’s got room for two more. 1.2348 0.02628 345 274 61 10
2633 I tell you, this 'Uber' cat sure gives you a 'Lyft.' 1.2348 0.02943 328 268 43 17
2634 It’s called immersion therapy. 1.2348 0.03006 328 270 39 19
2635 They say it's the Uber of fear management. 1.2347 0.02914 311 251 47 13
2636 Don't squeak !! 1.2346 0.02679 341 272 58 11
2637 He’s in training 1.2346 0.02836 341 277 48 16
2638 JUST CALL UBER...ALL I DID WAS ASK FOR A HYBRD! 1.2346 0.02870 324 262 48 14
2639 Bells? Where we're going we don't need bells. Now watch me get up on the kitchen counter ... 1.2345 0.03010 307 250 42 15
2640 Mind over litter. 1.2345 0.02902 307 247 48 12
2641 They're very obedient once you break their spirit. 1.2345 0.02765 354 287 51 16
2642 Since I got him broke, he's been an ol' pussycat! 1.2344 0.02731 337 270 55 12
2643 I wish you could see this. 1.2344 0.02993 320 262 41 17
2644 They say you eat with your eyes. 1.2344 0.02789 320 256 53 11
2645 You can get him to do anything just before dinnertime. 1.2344 0.02859 320 258 49 13
2646 And to think he calls US blind. 1.2343 0.02851 303 242 51 10
2647 Blind leading the blind 1.2343 0.02844 350 286 46 18
2648 Its nothing to switch out the catnip with THC edibles. It's a whole new normal for us. 1.2342 0.02752 333 267 54 12
2649 Don’t worry, I told him you have rabies. 1.2342 0.02685 333 265 58 10
2650 Mable, I’ve heard of the “Cat Whisperer” but never thought I live to see him. 1.2342 0.02880 333 271 46 16
2651 It's dressage. He needs them to keep him focused. 1.2342 0.02775 316 252 54 10
2652 He readily agreed after the "Access Hollywood" tape 1.2342 0.02847 316 254 50 12
2653 He wouldn't go for the bell, but was remarkably amenable to my next suggestion. 1.2341 0.02685 346 277 57 12
2654 Whipped Pussy 1.2340 0.02967 329 270 41 18
2655 He just thinks he’s saddled with debt. 1.2340 0.03029 329 272 37 20
2656 If you did the same as I did, we could call ourselves 'The Three Mouse-Cat-eers' 1.2340 0.02871 329 267 47 15
2657 It's okay, we're just playing..."Cat and Mouse," he said. 1.2340 0.02935 329 269 43 17
2658 She might have nine lives, but as for me, YOLO! 1.2340 0.02839 329 266 49 14
2659 Hey Lorraine - now do you believe in karma? 1.2340 0.02562 359 285 64 10
2660 Save a horse, ride a pussy. 1.2340 0.03111 312 258 35 19
2661 Ignore him, he just turned one and he's going through a midlife crisis. 1.2339 0.02534 372 296 65 11
2662 The horse was just too skittish! 1.2338 0.02794 325 261 52 12
2663 We ride for justice! And laser pointers. 1.2338 0.02895 325 264 46 15
2664 I've flipped the whole 3 blind mice scenario around. 1.2338 0.02640 355 284 59 12
2665 This is going blowup a lot of predator prey theories. 1.2337 0.02724 338 271 55 12
2666 When they named him Secretaricat, what choice did I have? 1.2335 0.02873 334 272 46 16
2667 It's called counter-insurgency. 1.2335 0.02655 364 293 57 14
2668 ...and then he's going to replace our healthcare with "something terrific". 1.2334 0.03042 317 261 38 18
2669 Survival of the fittest. 1.2334 0.02678 347 278 57 12
2670 Don't worry mom and dad, no matter what happens, I guarantee you, I'll land back on my feet again. 1.2334 0.02709 347 279 55 13
2671 I know it looks ridiculous but the tourists will love it. 1.2333 0.02927 330 270 43 17
2672 There's always a first time. 1.2332 0.02910 343 282 42 19
2673 It's a new world 1.2332 0.02633 343 273 60 10
2674 It has a lazor pointer guidance system.” 1.2332 0.03135 313 260 33 20
2675 Which way to the S&M conference? 1.2331 0.02603 356 284 61 11
2676 They’re THIS close to making self-driving ones of these. 1.2331 0.02919 326 266 44 16
2677 It's different. Horses don't eat people. 1.2331 0.03046 326 270 36 20
2678 He spooks easily, so I added these. 1.2330 0.02590 352 280 62 10
2679 Definitely catatonic. 1.2329 0.02809 322 259 51 12
2680 House broken with benefits. 1.2329 0.02739 322 257 55 10
2681 Catnip extra strength! 1.2328 0.02909 305 246 47 12
2682 And now I can be The Mouse That Reared. 1.2328 0.02732 348 281 53 14
2683 It's OK, we have a deal 1.2327 0.02984 275 220 46 9
2684 He's a little friskie. 1.2327 0.02796 318 255 52 11
2685 I told you I have friends in high places 1.2327 0.02488 361 285 68 8
2686 If he only knew......!!!! 1.2326 0.02758 331 266 53 12
2687 Hopefully we can keep this up until we get to the animal control shelter. 1.2324 0.02813 327 264 50 13
2688 Don't worry, after I get all the cheese, I'll let him go. 1.2324 0.02742 340 274 53 13
2689 It's all in how you talk to 'em. 1.2323 0.02676 353 284 56 13
2690 It's okay; I already checked. He promised he wouldn't eat me. 1.2323 0.02766 310 247 54 9
2691 Don’t say anything - we’re playing blind man’s bluff! 1.2323 0.02728 310 246 56 8
2692 It's our equivalent of having invented the wheel. 1.2323 0.02840 310 249 50 11
2693 It came with a manual. 1.2322 0.02801 323 260 51 12
2694 We're OK if I can keep him looking straight ahead. 1.2322 0.02801 323 260 51 12
2695 He's a Trump supporter. 1.2321 0.03096 336 282 30 24
2696 he was worthless until i tried the blinders, now he is a pussy cat 1.2320 0.02543 362 288 64 10
2697 Can you believe my parents didn't want me to major in Dressage? 1.2320 0.02632 362 291 58 13
2698 The blinders make all the difference. 1.2320 0.02974 306 249 43 14
2699 She came up with it at the loving-kindness workshop. 1.2320 0.02959 319 261 42 16
2700 I think this is our best chance of catching the framer's wife. 1.2320 0.02959 319 261 42 16
2701 The Tabby Taxi is finally in service. 1.2319 0.02751 332 267 53 12
2702 veni, vidi, vicheese 1.2319 0.02684 332 265 57 10
2703 He’s been that way ever since he went to that Tony Robins workshop. 1.2319 0.02649 332 264 59 9
2704 They really are dumb as a post. 1.2318 0.02794 358 293 47 18
2705 Finally decided to listen to someone with an opposing political view. 1.2318 0.02849 302 242 50 10
2706 The blinders keep him in a CATatonic trance, haha! 1.2317 0.02810 315 253 51 11
2707 It's a "ride or die" relationship 1.2317 0.02737 315 251 55 9
2708 I call him "My Base". 1.2317 0.02772 328 264 52 12
2709 Have fun scurrying, suckers! 1.2317 0.02772 328 264 52 12
2710 This has all the makings of a CAT-astrophe...." (Submitted by Stephanie Hoina, White Plains, NY 1.2317 0.02703 341 274 55 12
2711 Because he can’t see me, he thinks I’m the cat’s meow! 1.2317 0.02828 341 278 47 16
2712 She ofered me a free ride to her dinner plate. 1.2315 0.02787 337 273 50 14
2713 It works better than the bell. 1.2314 0.02657 350 281 57 12
2714 I feel like that fancy new ride he going to come back to bite him. 1.2314 0.02901 363 302 38 23
2715 He’s grateful to have a job. Can you believe it? 1.2313 0.02855 307 247 49 11
2716 We couldn't find a bell but I think this worked out better. 1.2312 0.02850 320 259 48 13
2717 The key is the blinders. 1.2312 0.02780 320 257 52 11
2718 Relax! He told me the trip would be short and sweet." Elaine Ryning, San Francisco, Calif 1.2312 0.02776 333 269 51 13
2719 Does it have GPS 1.2312 0.02840 333 271 47 15
2720 The kitties are coming!" "The kitties are coming!" -Paw Revere 1.2312 0.02934 333 274 41 18
2721 Other ridesharing services don't respect their employees, but at "Tabby Road" I feel like I'm part of the team. 1.2312 0.02829 346 283 46 17
2722 It's a part of the guiding eyes for the 3 blind mice program. 1.2310 0.03140 316 264 31 21
2723 I’m gonna rustle us some cheese. 1.2310 0.02802 316 254 51 11
2724 Let's see how he runs, for a change. 1.2310 0.02631 342 273 59 10
2725 Bet Yellow Cat to win! 1.2310 0.02727 342 276 53 13
2726 He must have heard "nice"! 1.2310 0.02727 342 276 53 13
2727 Her name is Florence and we're going to Arabia. 1.2308 0.02829 351 288 45 18
2728 Nobody can beat him in the stretch. 1.2308 0.02683 338 271 56 11
2729 Training him has been easy since I found the catnip stash. 1.2308 0.02824 312 251 50 11
2730 Pot rules! 1.2308 0.02853 325 264 47 14
2731 It feels good to be back in the saddle again. 1.2308 0.02886 325 265 45 15
2732 And she's got a new CATalytic converter that really cuts down on those nasty emissions. 1.2308 0.02824 312 251 50 11
2733 She answers to Cheddar 1.2308 0.02771 351 286 49 16
2734 Even Mickey doesn't have a ride like this boys! 1.2308 0.02842 338 276 46 16
2735 Thanks to Deepak Chopra, I've been able to achieve my goals through visualization and meditation. 1.2308 0.02716 338 272 54 12
2736 We ride at dawn, Marcellus! Hopefully Rawl never learns that our steed is declawed. 1.2308 0.02780 338 274 50 14
2737 I hope that cat isn’t smarter than it looks! 1.2306 0.02578 360 288 61 11
2738 After I took the bit out of her mouth she purrs like a kitten. 1.2305 0.02772 308 246 53 9
2739 I taught him to channel his inner horse. 1.2305 0.03015 282 228 43 11
2740 I'm off to the litter box Rodeo! 1.2303 0.02655 356 287 56 13
2741 If you just shift your attitude, they become more pussy and less cat. 1.2301 0.02740 339 274 52 13
2742 You can worry about toxoplamosis risky behavior, or you can lean into it. 1.2301 0.02803 339 276 48 15
2743 Anything is possible with blinders on. 1.2301 0.02811 326 264 49 13
2744 I am going to be dead cert to win that rat race now. 1.2301 0.02638 326 259 59 8
2745 I've got him thinking he's a member of the Hole in the Wall Gang. 1.2301 0.02709 326 261 55 10
2746 They’re to keep him from being distracted by a piece of string. 1.2301 0.02743 326 262 53 11
2747 One blindered cat. One sighted mouse. One surprised farmer's wife. Three tails to glory. 1.2300 0.02855 300 241 49 10
2748 He’s my trophy cat—so his racing name is 'Cat-as-trophy'." 1.2299 0.02843 348 286 44 18
2749 I’ve gotta take it into the shop, the exhaust pipe keeps leaking. 1.2298 0.02901 322 263 44 15
2750 I hired a cat whisperer and voila... 1.2298 0.02657 322 256 58 8
2751 Next thing I do,I'm going to put on a bell. 1.2298 0.02729 322 258 54 10
2752 Don't worry, he's tame. 1.2298 0.02694 322 257 56 9
2753 It's uber purrlus 1.2297 0.02835 344 282 45 17
2754 He’s called The Calico Stallion. 1.2297 0.02775 344 280 49 15
2755 “I know they say one should conquer one’s own fears but he has taken it too far 1.2296 0.02815 331 269 48 14
2756 Come on, don't be a pussy. Try it 1.2296 0.02749 331 267 52 12
2757 Ssshh...are you guys crazy?!? Don’t say the word ‘M-O-U-S-E’ again!! 1.2296 0.02847 331 270 46 15
2758 Shhhh, he thinks I’m a dog. 1.2296 0.02992 318 262 39 17
2759 We're safe as long as the blinders are in place! 1.2295 0.02606 353 283 59 11
2760 It’s a trick I learned in Mara Lago ... 1.2295 0.03099 292 240 37 15
2761 It's easier than I expected. 1.2294 0.02701 340 274 54 12
2762 If you can't beat em, join em. 1.2294 0.02770 327 264 51 12
2763 Where does justice end and vengeance begin? 1.2294 0.02736 327 263 53 11
2764 Wanna see him do dressage? 1.2293 0.02844 314 254 48 12
2765 We've gotten along great since he found out my family owns a catnip factory 1.2292 0.02786 336 273 49 14
2766 I look good up here, don't I? 1.2291 0.02860 323 263 46 14
2767 And you said it could never be done. 1.2290 0.02828 345 283 45 17
2768 She's laser guided.