Contest #638


Cartoon

638

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “You must be the fellow who ordered a friend on Amazon.”
  2. “It’s the convenience of suspenders without the ridiculous look.”
  3. “First time in the Bay Area?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-11-05T02:28:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-11-19T02:31:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-11-13T02:28:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued November 19, 2018
Number of captions 5423
Number of responses 882701
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

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Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I wear the pants but my wife controls them. 1.6914 0.06742 162 92 28 42
1 I wear the pants, but my wife has the remote. 1.6452 0.06391 155 86 38 31
2 Nothing you buy on a 2 am informercial is ever a good idea. 1.6341 0.05868 164 87 50 27
3 To be honest, I’m kind of flying by the seat of my pants. 1.6066 0.05470 183 100 55 28
4 Seriously? You've never tried a pair of hoveralls? 1.5951 0.06132 163 96 37 30
5 This is Otto, the other is Hannah — they’re palindrones. 1.5793 0.06115 164 99 35 30
6 The puppy wasn't attracting the type of women I'm interested in. 1.5767 0.05896 163 95 42 26
7 It’s not so bad. I had helicopter parents. 1.5671 0.05875 164 97 41 26
8 And that’s when I just decided to fly by the seat of my pants! 1.5644 0.05775 163 95 44 24
9 My wife forgave me for the affair. With conditions. 1.5561 0.05729 187 117 36 34
10 I'm Adam, your Lift driver. 1.5488 0.06196 164 105 28 31
11 We didn't understand cargo pants at first either. 1.5481 0.06284 135 80 36 19
12 Hi, I’m your Uber ride. Grab my hand. 1.5417 0.06301 144 89 32 23
13 This is much better. I used to fly by the seat of my pants. 1.5404 0.05778 161 97 41 23
14 In hind sight, I should have agreed to an ankle monitor. 1.5394 0.05799 165 101 39 25
15 YOU can wait for the walk sign. 1.5380 0.05392 171 100 50 21
16 Always wanted to fly by the seat of my pants. 1.5325 0.05695 169 104 40 25
17 I like to fly by the seat of my pants. 1.5321 0.05993 156 97 35 24
18 The only danger is if they see a squirrel. 1.5294 0.05546 170 103 44 23
19 My wife has the remote 1.5287 0.05895 157 97 37 23
20 I see yours are still analog. 1.5284 0.05341 176 105 49 22
21 No - I can't fly yet, but I can hit a high C. 1.5267 0.05960 150 92 37 21
22 First time in the Bay Area? 1.5260 0.05411 173 104 47 22
23 I've got them set between low-rider and full wedgie. 1.5226 0.06095 155 99 31 25
24 I’d wait for the next upgrade. There’s a wedgie issue. 1.5220 0.05438 182 113 43 26
25 My wife is at the controls . . . long story. 1.5215 0.05729 163 101 39 23
26 The only problem with them is if there's a strong gust of wind my voice goes up an octave. 1.5188 0.05880 160 101 35 24
27 SkyMall. Why do you ask? 1.5172 0.05690 174 111 36 27
28 The good news is that I get uptown in 10 minutes. The bad news is that I land with one hell of a wedgie. 1.5163 0.05724 153 93 41 19
29 It was either this or an ankle monitor. 1.5068 0.06242 146 95 28 23
30 It's called upward mobility. 1.5058 0.05439 172 107 43 22
31 Turns out you don't have to put on your pants one leg at a time. 1.5055 0.05270 182 113 46 23
32 Alexa, hold up my pants! 1.5031 0.05797 163 105 34 24
33 Mr. Smith? I’m your Uber ride. 1.5000 0.05746 160 102 36 22
34 You must be the fellow who ordered a friend on Amazon. 1.4969 0.05511 161 100 42 19
35 It’s the convenience of suspenders without the ridiculous look. 1.4967 0.05874 153 98 34 21
36 Ask me where I keep the remote. 1.4966 0.05604 149 91 42 16
37 The judge said it was either this or the ankle bracelet. 1.4943 0.05573 174 113 36 25
38 Hi, I'm Steve from Amazon Cloud Services. 1.4868 0.05600 152 95 40 17
39 I'm flying by the seat of my pants. 1.4852 0.05315 169 106 44 19
40 Well, I guess I’m going to take off. 1.4848 0.05612 165 107 36 22
41 Actually my wife has the controls. 1.4843 0.05417 159 99 43 17
42 Well I'm off. My Lyft is here. 1.4843 0.05490 159 100 41 18
43 Amazon sent me. Your book is backordered. 1.4841 0.05829 157 103 32 22
44 You're experiencing what is known as 'disbelief of suspension'. 1.4828 0.05799 145 92 36 17
45 Yeah, I had helicopter parents, why 1.4824 0.05357 170 108 42 20
46 They're my emotional support drones. 1.4817 0.05188 191 124 42 25
47 I said I BARELY NOTICE THEM ANYMORE! 1.4805 0.05696 154 99 36 19
48 At first it was just a joke, but then I got the Department of Defense contract. 1.4750 0.05316 160 100 44 16
49 They keep dropping me off at Amazon. 1.4750 0.05945 160 109 26 25
50 All I said was: "Hey Alexa I need a lift," and this happens... 1.4750 0.05604 160 104 36 20
51 You act like you've never seen a pair of chastity drones before. 1.4747 0.05658 158 103 35 20
52 As you probably guessed, I'm single. 1.4734 0.05443 169 110 38 21
53 I lost the car in the divorce. 1.4731 0.04952 186 117 50 19
54 It's just until the sexual assault charges are dropped. 1.4713 0.05448 174 115 36 23
55 They're great until your kid steals the controller. 1.4709 0.05371 172 112 39 21
56 The battery life is pretty short, and that’s led to a couple of embarrassing incidents.” 1.4706 0.04989 187 119 48 20
57 One leg at a time, that's how. 1.4699 0.05244 183 120 40 23
58 Guess who just put his pants on TWO legs at a time? 1.4691 0.05193 162 101 46 15
59 No lines ... no tickets ... just fly by the seat of your pants. 1.4688 0.05460 160 103 39 18
60 Yes I'm single. Why do you ask? 1.4667 0.05473 165 108 37 20
61 Plus, with the turbo option, I can go up a full octave. 1.4667 0.05538 180 123 30 27
62 Best part? I can use Tesla charging stations. 1.4663 0.05385 163 105 40 18
63 It’s not so much about holding up my pants as it’s about attracting venture capitalists. 1.4662 0.05542 148 94 39 15
64 They're controlled by a joystick in my pants. 1.4658 0.05713 161 108 31 22
65 Alexa, fix my wedgie. 1.4654 0.05698 159 106 32 21
66 Gotta go. My Lift is here.” 1.4647 0.05352 170 111 39 20
67 It's better than flying by the seat of my pants! 1.4641 0.05719 153 101 33 19
68 They're just for technical support 1.4621 0.05732 132 83 37 12
69 OK, you have the remote, right? 1.4620 0.05509 158 103 37 18
70 And now, when people say, "He puts his pants on just like you and me," you'll know just how wrong they are. 1.4615 0.05936 143 95 30 18
71 I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants. 1.4611 0.04943 180 114 49 17
72 You also get an owner’s manual, a pack of adult diapers and a barf bag. 1.4595 0.05783 148 98 32 18
73 I hope I have been ordered by a nice family 1.4589 0.05842 146 97 31 18
74 Hi, I'm the drinking buddy you ordered from Amazon Prime. 1.4586 0.05341 181 122 35 24
75 They're my suspenders of disbelief. 1.4581 0.05660 155 103 33 19
76 I'm here for your Amazon return. 1.4578 0.05445 166 110 36 20
77 It's the hot new fashion...hoveralls 1.4577 0.05881 142 94 31 17
78 Sure, but once he builds that wall, these babies will sell like hot tamales. 1.4561 0.05389 171 114 36 21
79 I admit it can be a little embarrassing when the batteries get low. 1.4551 0.05043 178 115 45 18
80 Hi! I'm Joe, the personal assistant you ordered from Amazon. 1.4545 0.05379 154 99 40 15
81 Of course my wife has the remote control. 1.4545 0.05468 165 110 35 20
82 AirUber. Where to? 1.4540 0.05236 163 105 42 16
83 I place an order on Amazon and - Pow! - these babies deliver ME to my stuff! 1.4529 0.05538 170 116 31 23
84 The balloons looked ridiculous. 1.4512 0.05353 164 108 38 18
85 Are you the one who called Amazon Customer Support? 1.4512 0.05692 164 113 28 23
86 Why, yes, I am Mr. Fancypants. 1.4509 0.05464 173 118 32 23
87 My wife got the bra version. 1.4503 0.05322 171 114 37 20
88 I have a mini one to do my zipper. 1.4494 0.05521 178 124 28 26
89 Hi, i’m Your Lyft driver. 1.4494 0.05226 178 119 38 21
90 Wow, you're still using analog suspenders? 1.4491 0.05072 167 107 45 15
91 Ya, you get a wedgie. But I can be in Hoboken in five minutes. 1.4487 0.05554 156 104 34 18
92 I’ve been sent here to see if there is anything we can do to stop you from dropping your Amazon Prime. 1.4477 0.05297 172 115 37 20
93 The only thing I don't like about them is I have to call the FAA every time I want to take off my pants. 1.4471 0.05211 170 112 40 18
94 yeah...product of helicopter parents 1.4471 0.05278 170 113 38 19
95 No one thought the iPhone would catch on, either! 1.4467 0.05312 150 96 41 13
96 I have a patent suspending. 1.4465 0.05547 159 107 33 19
97 Unfortunately, I left the remote in my other pants. 1.4462 0.05056 186 124 41 21
98 Sir, your Lyft has arrived. 1.4462 0.05113 186 125 39 22
99 The hip-hop setting is eight inches lower. 1.4459 0.05775 148 100 30 18
100 By design, I fly by the seat of my pants! 1.4459 0.05614 148 98 34 16
101 When you go low, I go high. 1.4458 0.05092 166 107 44 15
102 Look, they put my pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else. 1.4458 0.05438 166 112 34 20
103 I only have to wear them until my wife trusts me again. 1.4452 0.05942 155 109 23 23
104 Honestly, I feel 20 pounds lighter. 1.4451 0.04957 182 119 45 18
105 With the Drone-penders 2.0, there's no chance of getting caught with your pants down. 1.4438 0.05095 169 110 43 16
106 You ordered a handshake on Amazon, correct?! Here it is! 1.4423 0.04754 208 139 46 23
107 I know it looks weird, but I haven't been mugged once since I put them on. 1.4417 0.05156 163 106 42 15
108 Amazon needs a clarification on your order. 1.4410 0.05092 195 134 36 25
109 Amazon Customer Support here, how can I help? 1.4403 0.05397 159 106 36 17
110 To be honest, yes, I am a little worried about the battery life on these things. 1.4400 0.05635 150 101 32 17
111 I don’t know how I managed before self-driving pants. 1.4383 0.05176 162 106 41 15
112 Imagine the possibilities for brassieres. 1.4383 0.05250 162 107 39 16
113 Hi, I’m your ride 1.4379 0.05394 153 101 37 15
114 They came free with my Prime membership. 1.4379 0.04951 169 109 46 14
115 The view was great, but the wedgie was brutal. 1.4368 0.05082 190 130 37 23
116 They have two speeds...tenor and soprano. 1.4368 0.05370 174 120 32 22
117 Now, Prime members can be delivered to their online orders. 1.4364 0.05320 165 111 36 18
118 Greetings, I'm from Amazon and I'm here to help. 1.4356 0.05151 163 107 41 15
119 I see you're still wearing analog suspenders. You need to think bigger. 1.4355 0.04813 186 122 47 17
120 I wanted to fly by the seat of my pants. 1.4350 0.05052 177 118 41 18
121 Hi, I'm your car-less driver. Where can I drop you?" 1.4345 0.05448 168 116 31 21
122 The free app syncs with my calendar, so I never forget to wear pants to a meeting. 1.4345 0.05775 145 99 29 17
123 They keep me on my toes. 1.4342 0.05417 152 101 36 15
124 I don't mind; I was raised by helicopter parents. 1.4341 0.04950 182 121 43 18
125 Go ahead build the wall. I'll make millions. 1.4337 0.05363 166 113 34 19
126 A life well-documented is a life well-lived. 1.4336 0.05663 143 96 32 15
127 Hi, I'm Frank. Professional drone walker. 1.4336 0.05575 143 95 34 14
128 I thought about suspenders, but I didn't want to look ridiculous. 1.4333 0.05550 150 101 33 16
129 Just a natural progression from helicopter parents. 1.4330 0.04947 194 132 40 22
130 Basically they're fully autonomous... but I can still take over the zipper in case of an emergency. 1.4329 0.05411 164 112 33 19
131 I am your date. Match.com now has drone delivery. 1.4329 0.05271 164 110 37 17
132 I also invented noise canceling trousers. 1.4329 0.05127 164 108 41 15
133 Next year I'll just tell them what I want for father's day. 1.4321 0.05245 162 108 38 16
134 I use to be one of those helicopter parents. 1.4320 0.04946 169 110 45 14
135 I still adjust my fly manually, though. 1.4320 0.05224 169 114 37 18
136 If they pull my pants any tighter it is going to be "unmanned" flight for sure." 1.4315 0.05905 146 102 25 19
137 I see you're still sporting the analog model. 1.4311 0.05200 167 112 38 17
138 Just wait until you see how I hold my socks up. 1.4305 0.05275 151 99 39 13
139 Just because they suspended my driver's license doesn't mean I'm grounded 1.4305 0.05600 151 103 31 17
140 You're late on your Amazon Prime payment 1.4302 0.05007 179 120 41 18
141 Marvin, this is the last time I'll get your ball off the roof. 1.4301 0.04798 193 129 45 19
142 Well, when the batteries die, it does get a bit awkward. 1.4286 0.05192 161 107 39 15
143 Amazon can now go directly into my wallet and remove money without bothering to delivery anything. 1.4286 0.05545 147 99 33 15
144 I can't understand why the judge considers me a flight risk. 1.4286 0.05339 161 109 35 17
145 Alexa sent me. I'm Greg from Prime Friendship. 1.4277 0.05461 159 109 32 18
146 I don't like waiting for the "WALK" sign. 1.4276 0.05330 152 101 37 14
147 They're working on little ones for your socks. 1.4269 0.05108 171 115 39 17
148 Now I really can fly by the seat of my pants. 1.4268 0.04973 164 107 44 13
149 it was either this or an ankle monitor and i'm like so let's have some fun 1.4268 0.05585 157 109 29 19
150 They’re waiting to see if I want to return the pants. 1.4267 0.05544 150 102 32 16
151 It’s best if I don’t tell you where the remote control is. 1.4267 0.05624 150 103 30 17
152 You did order a lyft, didn’t you? 1.4261 0.05255 176 122 33 21
153 I put my pants on like everyone else. One drone at a time. 1.4260 0.05219 169 115 36 18
154 Ironically, it was only because two people gave me the same gift that I found a use for them. 1.4259 0.05166 162 108 39 15
155 They work great except for the wedgies. 1.4258 0.05488 155 106 32 17
156 The only downside is that it gives you a really bad wedgie. 1.4255 0.05975 141 99 24 18
157 It's a new service called "Lift." 1.4254 0.04901 181 121 43 17
158 And if you think that’s impressive, wait until you see how the zipper works. 1.4242 0.05169 165 111 38 16
159 We're still having some problems with the necktie option. 1.4241 0.05557 158 110 29 19
160 I might have to take off early. 1.4241 0.05103 158 104 41 13
161 I also programmed my Roomba to tie my shoes. 1.4238 0.05269 151 100 38 13
162 They're a must have for the committed helicopter parent. 1.4236 0.05711 144 99 29 16
163 I may have been born privileged, but I still put my pants on one drone at a time—just like everyone else does. 1.4233 0.05565 163 115 27 21
164 The settings go from low rider to wedgie. 1.4228 0.05402 149 100 35 14
165 Tssh. You still wearing analogs? 1.4217 0.05284 166 114 34 18
166 Actually, I don't put my pants on one leg at time! 1.4200 0.05538 150 103 31 16
167 Two to keep your pants up; six to get airborne. 1.4192 0.04977 167 111 42 14
168 Sure beats taking a cab, but I wish I had worn my relaxed-fit jeans. 1.4189 0.05592 148 102 30 16
169 Mostly I fly to the battery store 1.4186 0.05340 172 121 30 21
170 This is what I call tech support! 1.4186 0.04943 172 115 42 15
171 Same as everyone. One drone at a time. 1.4182 0.05235 165 113 35 17
172 I'm Andy, from Amazon's new on-line dating service. Are you Michael? 1.4178 0.05730 146 102 27 17
173 It’s the latest from Lyft! 1.4176 0.04842 170 112 45 13
174 Hi. Bob from Amazon. 1.4172 0.05427 151 103 33 15
175 Your wife ordered you a friend on Amazon. 1.4172 0.05666 151 106 27 18
176 The only downside is my voice occasionally sounds a little higher. 1.4167 0.04953 168 112 42 14
177 Safe? Of course it's safe. I've got 2 gps-guided drones with 4 gyro-stablized propellers on each for software and hardware fault tolerance. What could possibly go wrong? 1.4167 0.04975 180 123 39 18
178 Well, it was pretty embarrassing when both batteries died at the same time. 1.4158 0.04605 190 126 49 15
179 I call them 'willing suspenders of disbelief.' 1.4156 0.05349 154 105 34 15
180 ...But I still put them on one leg at a time. 1.4155 0.05311 142 94 37 11
181 I'm Frank. I'll be your Uber driver. 1.4152 0.05230 171 119 33 19
182 Tell me the belt industry isn't nervous. 1.4150 0.05447 147 100 33 14
183 I'm supposed to deliver you to your mother's for Thanksgiving. 1.4149 0.04936 188 130 38 20
184 These babies get me to work in 10 minutes but for some strange reason my voice is higher for the rest of the day. 1.4146 0.05110 164 111 38 15
185 Gone are the days when I could lift myself by the bootstraps. 1.4145 0.05065 152 100 41 11
186 They work fine, but I'm having some intimacy issues. 1.4138 0.05140 145 95 40 10
187 I put them on same as everyone else; one leg at a time. 1.4136 0.05301 162 112 33 17
188 I put my pants on just like everyone else, one drone at a time. 1.4132 0.05184 167 115 35 17
189 Helicopter parents are so last year. 1.4132 0.05184 167 115 35 17
190 I’m the BFF you just ordered on Amazon 1.4125 0.05565 160 114 26 20
191 Sorry I'm late. I got held up. 1.4125 0.05349 160 111 32 17
192 I’m thinking of calling it “Lyft.” 1.4125 0.05199 160 109 36 15
193 Hi. I’m Matt from Amazon. 1.4118 0.05115 170 117 36 17
194 I'm a fly by the seat of your pants type of guy 1.4118 0.05183 170 118 34 18
195 I'm not sure what it does, but I got it with 2-day free shipping from Amazon! 1.4112 0.04978 197 140 33 24
196 Hi, I'm your driver. Grab my hand and hold on tight. 1.4111 0.04970 180 124 38 18
197 I’m Amazon’s new tech support. 1.4107 0.04874 168 112 43 13
198 I use to be a Helicopter dad,but I need to keep up with the times. 1.4106 0.05420 151 104 32 15
199 I have ten minutes to charge these before my pants fall off. 1.4103 0.05214 156 106 36 14
200 Mosquitoes stay clear and my pants stay hiked up. It's a win-win. 1.4103 0.05214 156 106 36 14
201 I’m gonna need either a belt or a charger in the next 15 seconds. 1.4097 0.05865 144 103 23 18
202 Other than raising my voice a few octaves, they work fine... 1.4096 0.05341 166 117 30 19
203 Hi I am your Amazon personal shopper... 1.4094 0.05023 171 117 38 16
204 Yep, I really am flying by the seat of my pants”. 1.4091 0.05114 176 123 34 19
205 What? You're still using Uber 1.4088 0.05142 159 108 37 14
206 I found them in SkyMall.” 1.4088 0.05219 159 109 35 15
207 Hi, I'm the new assistant you ordered from Amazon. 1.4088 0.05443 159 112 29 18
208 This seemed more functional than a cape and tights. 1.4088 0.05237 137 90 38 9
209 This changes the game for a 5 story walk up! 1.4083 0.05065 169 116 37 16
210 I'm telling you, helicopter parenting isn't enough these days. 1.4082 0.05177 147 98 38 11
211 Practical? No. Suspenseful? Yes. 1.4079 0.05227 152 103 36 13
212 Talk about "flying by the seat of your pants." 1.4076 0.05343 157 109 32 16
213 Jetson, George Jetson” 1.4072 0.05107 167 115 36 16
214 Didn't you order a man from Amazon? 1.4067 0.05604 150 106 27 17
215 Thanks for noticing. I did lose 10 pounds. 1.4065 0.05469 155 109 29 17
216 Yeah, boxers. Definitely, boxers. 1.4062 0.05487 160 114 27 19
217 Hi! I’m Dan, the window washer. 1.4057 0.05320 175 126 27 22
218 Would you happen to have 7000 AA batteries?” 1.4054 0.04618 185 124 47 14
219 It was either this or the ankle bracelet 1.4052 0.05442 153 107 30 16
220 Why yes, my suspenders do come with Bluetooth. 1.4051 0.05390 158 111 30 17
221 No one thought the bra would take off either 1.4048 0.05221 168 118 32 18
222 Everything was going great until an 8 year old got a hold of the controller. 1.4040 0.05652 151 108 25 18
223 I used to fly by the seat of my pants, but I've modernized. 1.4040 0.05413 151 105 31 15
224 Who knows what the future holds? Right now, they just hold up my pants. 1.4036 0.05054 166 114 37 15
225 All the good jobs are in the cloud. 1.4035 0.05017 171 118 37 16
226 So I no longer have to put my pants on one leg at a time. 1.4032 0.04904 186 130 37 19
227 Hi. I’m here with an update on your Amazon order. 1.4028 0.05689 144 102 26 16
228 Just don't clip them to your underwear 1.4025 0.05288 159 111 32 16
229 Cmon, I'll give you a lift. 1.4025 0.05057 159 108 38 13
230 I'd love to drop by...what time? 1.4025 0.04977 159 107 40 12
231 Thought you’d never ask. To hold my pants up.” 1.4025 0.05057 159 108 38 13
232 I'm beta-testing Uber's new self driving pants. 1.4025 0.05057 159 108 38 13
233 Thank you for calling Air Taxi. Hold my hand tightly. 1.4025 0.05436 159 113 28 18
234 How do you do? I'm the new butler you ordered 2 hours ago from Amzon 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
235 I just let myself fly by the seat of my pants. 1.4024 0.05127 169 118 34 17
236 Now if I can just work out the wedgie problem. 1.4023 0.04747 174 117 44 13
237 As beta testing goes, it could be worse. There's a jockstrap version of this thing. 1.4022 0.05166 179 128 30 21
238 I'm your lift driver. 1.4014 0.05077 147 98 39 10
239 I've stopped using lyft. 1.4013 0.05335 157 110 31 16
240 Surveillance or delivery? 1.4013 0.05258 157 109 33 15
241 I think of myself as upwardly mobile 1.4013 0.05411 157 111 29 17
242 And they delivered themselves! 1.4012 0.05127 172 121 33 18
243 Lyft? I' ll show you lift! 1.4000 0.05384 155 109 30 16
244 Don’t be offended if I start talking down to you. 1.4000 0.04771 165 110 44 11
245 Some days I just need a lift. 1.4000 0.05596 150 107 26 17
246 Hi George. By shaking my hand, you accept our terms and conditions. 1.4000 0.04958 180 126 36 18
247 They come with Amazon Prime Wardrobe. Returns are super fast. 1.4000 0.04548 185 124 48 13
248 Your mom sent me. She says, "call her back." 1.4000 0.05144 165 115 34 16
249 It's part of H.R.'s new sexual harassment prevention program. 1.3988 0.05145 168 118 33 17
250 It helps keep me on my toes. 1.3988 0.04712 168 112 45 11
251 Nice pants. You pull them up yourself? 1.3988 0.05115 163 113 35 15
252 My kids think I'm one of those helicopter parents 1.3987 0.05434 153 108 29 16
253 If I am not back in five minutes, call the F. A. A. 1.3987 0.05108 153 104 37 12
254 I’m done flying by the seat of my pants! 1.3978 0.04839 186 130 38 18
255 Hi, I'm Trevor, the friend you ordered from Amazon. 1.3977 0.05145 171 121 32 18
256 I’m your Lyft driver, just hang tight. 1.3975 0.05006 161 110 38 13
257 Didn’t you order a Lyft? 1.3975 0.05006 161 110 38 13
258 It has its ups and downs. 1.3973 0.05277 146 100 34 12
259 The station can't afford a news chopper so I got the next best thing. 1.3973 0.05366 146 101 32 13
260 It's been nice chatting with you, but I've just been cleared for takeoff. 1.3966 0.04946 174 121 37 16
261 Not only did Amazon just deliver this belt they're installing it too. 1.3963 0.05162 164 115 33 16
262 It’s only annoying when I have to go to the bathroom. 1.3962 0.04806 159 106 43 10
263 No offense, but I just think suspenders look ridiculous. 1.3962 0.05429 159 114 27 18
264 I' m just flying by the front of my pants. 1.3962 0.04806 159 106 43 10
265 Revolving doors are particularly problematic. 1.3960 0.05200 149 102 35 12
266 What's amazing is that nobody thought of it sooner. 1.3958 0.05594 144 102 27 15
267 I put my pants on one drone at a time. 1.3955 0.05014 177 125 34 18
268 I, too, thought it was a great idea, but it just hasn’t taken off. 1.3955 0.04950 177 124 36 17
269 These are my last two certified emotional support drones. 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
270 If I leave them home alone they'll tear up the furniture. 1.3952 0.05369 167 121 26 20
271 Because, when I had only one, I kept going around in circles. 1.3949 0.05479 157 113 26 18
272 Now that’s amazing... three minutes ago I ordered suspenders from Amazon! 1.3947 0.05375 152 107 30 15
273 But mine lift and separate. 1.3944 0.04888 180 126 37 17
274 Yes, the wedgie is an issue. 1.3941 0.04742 170 115 43 12
275 It's my Halloween costume: I'm the Suspension of Disbelief. 1.3938 0.05177 160 112 33 15
276 Well I've gotta take off, great talking with you. 1.3938 0.04864 160 108 41 11
277 They're great when you need a little pick me up. 1.3935 0.05055 155 106 37 12
278 I used to be a belt and suspenders man too. 1.3931 0.05206 145 99 35 11
279 It all started with an Apple Watch. 1.3929 0.05068 168 118 34 16
280 You ordered a friend? 1.3929 0.05342 168 122 26 20
281 If you can ignore the wedgie, it’s the only way to fly 1.3929 0.04779 168 114 42 12
282 Hi, I'm from Amazon HR. Thanks for your application. Got time for an interview? 1.3929 0.04853 168 115 40 13
283 It's way faster than the crosstown bus as long as you don't mind the wedgie. 1.3926 0.05181 163 115 32 16
284 I'm the delivery guy for Amazon Sub-Prime. 1.3926 0.05669 163 122 18 23
285 They were working great until a hacker from Vladivostok gave me a long distance wedgie. 1.3926 0.05768 135 96 25 14
286 I am not your Uber I am your Lyft 1.3924 0.05375 158 113 28 17
287 These Amazon drones are delivering a "package" if you know what I mean. 1.3924 0.05450 158 114 26 18
288 Yes, I put my pants on - one drone at a time 1.3918 0.05003 171 120 35 16
289 Just give me the keys. And next time, try to remember where you parked. 1.3908 0.04871 174 121 38 15
290 This isn’t what I was expecting when I called for a Lyft. 1.3908 0.04939 174 122 36 16
291 Actually, they're pretty submissive once you've established who's walking whom. 1.3907 0.05230 151 105 33 13
292 My wife has the joystick 1.3902 0.04856 164 112 40 12
293 Hi, Alex from Uber Air 1.3899 0.05119 159 111 34 14
294 And they keep my pants up. 1.3892 0.05156 167 119 31 17
295 It beats the ankle bracelet. 1.3886 0.05301 175 129 24 22
296 You didn't get the upgrade? 1.3886 0.04916 175 123 36 16
297 Sure the constant surveillance is uncomfortable, but so was my belt. 1.3882 0.05088 170 121 32 17
298 Yah, I'm over Uber 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
299 And now no one notices my bald spot. 1.3879 0.04982 165 115 36 14
300 As usual, we don't NEED it until they invent it. 1.3879 0.04908 165 114 38 13
301 They also come in business casual. 1.3878 0.05239 147 102 33 12
302 The only thing they can't suspend is your disbelief. 1.3865 0.05245 163 117 29 17
303 Suspend disbelief, man. 1.3864 0.04620 176 120 44 12
304 I’m your Uber ride. Grab my hand. 1.3856 0.05337 153 109 29 15
305 Why put up with the tyranny of suspenders when you can control your pants with the touch of a button? 1.3855 0.04832 179 126 37 16
306 Oh for sure, but I still put my pants on one drone at a time. 1.3854 0.04714 192 136 38 18
307 Would you like a lift? 1.3851 0.05551 148 107 25 16
308 The only real drawback are updrafts. Those can raise your voice an octave or two. 1.3851 0.05143 161 114 32 15
309 That's what they said about Uber. 1.3851 0.05291 161 116 28 17
310 They found out I cut off my ankle bracelet... 1.3851 0.05129 174 126 29 19
311 People only seem interested in how I go to the bathroom 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
312 People told me no one would want a driverless option for pedestrians. Well, who’s laughing now? 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
313 You still do yours one leg at a time? 1.3846 0.05174 169 122 29 18
314 Taking them down would create other privacy concerns. 1.3842 0.05000 177 127 32 18
315 Be careful not to enter my personal air space. 1.3841 0.05073 164 116 33 15
316 It's not about who wears the pants in the relationship anymore, but who controls them. 1.3841 0.05387 151 108 28 15
317 If you lost the remote control, I'm in big trouble! 1.3837 0.04902 172 121 36 15
318 I used to be just an ordinary peeping Tom. 1.3836 0.05167 146 101 34 11
319 Lately I feel like I've been flying by the seat of my pants. 1.3832 0.05148 167 120 30 17
320 I don't wear belts with them. That would look ridiculous. 1.3830 0.05573 141 101 26 14
321 Can I bum a battery? 1.3827 0.04964 162 113 36 13
322 I am from Amazon customer service. 1.3826 0.05437 149 107 27 15
323 I bet you read a hardcopy newspaper too. 1.3822 0.04993 157 109 36 12
324 I'm a handyman. Thanks to Amazon I can be delivered straight to your door 1.3815 0.05147 173 126 28 19
325 Wait here while I find out where we parked. 1.3813 0.05310 160 116 27 17
326 They’re the new Elon Musk suspenders. 1.3813 0.05236 160 115 29 16
327 It keeps the mosquitos away. 1.3810 0.04909 168 118 36 14
328 I'm your Uber. My car broke down, so grab my arm. 1.3810 0.05404 147 105 28 14
329 Belt and suspenders? Seems a bit much. 1.3807 0.04951 176 126 33 17
330 Just thought I'd give myself a lift. 1.3807 0.04818 176 124 37 15
331 '"At least it's some consolation to know that there'll be video from every angle if the cops shoot me." 1.3806 0.05359 155 112 27 16
332 These will take me right into Canada if the Republicans win next week. 1.3806 0.05359 155 112 27 16
333 Put it this way, I’ve never been mugged. 1.3806 0.05484 134 94 29 11
334 Because I can. 1.3803 0.05357 142 100 30 12
335 I''m five pounds lighter in these pants. 1.3801 0.05055 171 123 31 17
336 Its the cheapest flight I could find 1.3799 0.04825 179 127 36 16
337 Why yes, they do make me feel light on my feet. 1.3798 0.05185 129 87 35 7
338 One leg at a time. You? 1.3797 0.05282 158 114 28 16
339 Of course, things can get a little bit tricky in a men's room stall. 1.3789 0.04740 161 110 41 10
340 Now Amazon takes me to the product instead of dropping them off. 1.3787 0.04885 169 119 36 14
341 Court order. 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
342 We'd better shake hands -- I don't do high fives anymore. 1.3782 0.05252 156 112 29 15
343 But you requested a Lyft! 1.3782 0.05172 156 111 31 14
344 It's great when technology is able to pick up the slacks 1.3780 0.04914 164 115 36 13
345 It's called technology, Ted. 1.3779 0.04681 172 119 41 12
346 Patent pending, they'll be called "Suspenders of Disbelief!" 1.3775 0.05377 151 109 27 15
347 Well yes, battery life is a concern. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
348 One leg at a time? Not any more. 1.3770 0.04870 183 132 33 18
349 My eyes are down here, buddy. 1.3770 0.04681 183 129 39 15
350 Do you realize how ridiculous you look wearing a belt AND suspenders, Frank? 1.3765 0.05182 162 117 29 16
351 They’re the first suspenders approved by the FAA. 1.3765 0.04955 162 114 35 13
352 Helicopter wife 1.3765 0.05255 162 118 27 17
353 It's a little awkward when the batteries die. 1.3758 0.05224 157 113 29 15
354 Lift. Better than Uber. 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
355 Well, sure, it’s dangerous and illegal, but would you rather take the F train? 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
356 The wedgie is rough but it beats taking the subway. 1.3750 0.05151 160 115 30 15
357 They also suspend privacy rights. 1.3750 0.05820 144 108 18 18
358 It's a little tough on the crotch, but my shoulders feel a lot better. 1.3750 0.05097 152 107 33 12
359 They're Elon Musk jeans. 1.3743 0.04543 187 131 42 14
360 It does get a bit complicated in the bathroom. 1.3743 0.04838 171 121 36 14
361 Twenty percent less than Uber, no traffic, and, for a little excitement, we can do rooftop drop-offs. 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
362 My eyes are down here, Greg. 1.3742 0.04681 155 105 42 8
363 Can you believe this was already patented? 1.3742 0.05026 155 109 34 12
364 You called Lyft? 1.3742 0.05190 155 111 30 14
365 Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jeff Bezos? 1.3741 0.05479 147 107 25 15
366 You just have to watch what you clip them to - after my second flight, I couldn't walk for three days" 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
367 What do you mean, I always over-complicate things??? 1.3735 0.04940 166 118 34 14
368 You should see my zipper device. 1.3733 0.05313 150 108 28 14
369 See, my mom & dad are still helicopter parents. 1.3729 0.04787 177 126 36 15
370 If I act like a package, they'll deliver me anywhere. 1.3727 0.05048 161 115 32 14
371 I see you're sporting the old-fashioned model. 1.3725 0.04718 153 104 41 8
372 I have no idea where to put my thumbs. 1.3725 0.05398 153 112 25 16
373 I'm John from Amazon Prime. 1.3725 0.05318 153 111 27 15
374 If Trump builds that wall, these devices are going to sell like hot cakes. 1.3721 0.04815 172 122 36 14
375 Suspenders are for nerds. Suspend-AIRS are for nerds who grow up to work for NASA 1.3720 0.04905 164 116 35 13
376 I'll make a fortune selling them to people who want to go over the wall. 1.3718 0.04999 156 110 34 12
377 Yah the wedgie is still a problem! 1.3718 0.05081 156 111 32 13
378 Yep you got it, Google suspenders. 1.3718 0.05081 156 111 32 13
379 I can drop you wherever you’d like. 1.3718 0.04916 156 109 36 11
380 What do you think? Too much? 1.3713 0.04613 167 115 42 10
381 Hi I'm your driver John, where to? 1.3711 0.05168 159 115 29 15
382 Now women can select one-click delivery on my Tinder page. 1.3706 0.05407 143 103 27 13
383 Amazon delivered me to assist you. 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
384 I mean, you saw what happened with the feathers and wax. 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
385 Suspender technology has really taken off. 1.3704 0.04945 162 115 34 13
386 The time I save is worth the wedgie. 1.3704 0.05098 162 117 30 15
387 Yes, I am the traffic reporter. Budget cuts, you know. 1.3699 0.04861 173 124 34 15
388 Amazon wants you to pull my finger. 1.3697 0.05245 165 122 25 18
389 Well yes, it does get a little tricky in the men’s room. 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
390 Please suspend your disbelief. 1.3696 0.05546 138 100 25 13
391 Looks like someone’s not keeping up with the droneses... 1.3694 0.05443 157 117 22 18
392 I put my pants on just like you - one drone at a time. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
393 It's the NEW Lyft" 1.3692 0.04405 195 137 44 14
394 They like to be walked. 1.3687 0.04986 160 114 33 13
395 It comes with my amazon prime account. 1.3687 0.04743 179 128 36 15
396 I’ll try not to get carried away. 1.3687 0.04254 179 121 50 8
397 I got tired of people saying, "He puts his pants on, one leg at a time, just like everyone else" 1.3684 0.04667 190 137 36 17
398 Sure, there have been some fatalities but statistically speaking they're safer than conventional pants. 1.3684 0.05171 152 109 30 13
399 Still using suspenders 1.0? 1.3684 0.05171 152 109 30 13
400 I call them suspension britches. 1.3681 0.04996 163 117 32 14
401 I'm telling you, these new pants are really going to take off! 1.3678 0.04769 174 124 36 14
402 These babies hold your pants up for 8 hours on one charge! 1.3677 0.05015 155 110 33 12
403 I see you're still not a Prime member. 1.3675 0.04780 166 117 37 12
404 Sorry, am I droning on? 1.3673 0.05468 147 108 24 15
405 It's a little scary but it sure beats the subway. 1.3671 0.05186 158 115 28 15
406 I’ve been delivered. 1.3671 0.05339 158 117 24 17
407 It's my wife, she thinks I'm cheating. 1.3671 0.04696 158 109 40 9
408 I have NO idea. They came with the suspenders I ordered on Amazon... 1.3669 0.05417 139 100 27 12
409 I promised non-military applications. I’ll deliver non-military applications. 1.3669 0.04645 169 118 40 11
410 With the new software, my pants are supported for up to six hours. 1.3669 0.04645 169 118 40 11
411 I put my pants on like the common man - one drone at a time. 1.3667 0.04786 180 130 34 16
412 I thought my helicopter mom was a pain until I married my drone wife. 1.3665 0.05190 161 118 27 16
413 Listen, sir. I put my pants on one drone at a time... 1.3665 0.05114 161 117 29 15
414 I’ve upskilled. I am now a drone walker. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
415 It's only dangerous when I drop the remote. 1.3663 0.04734 172 122 37 13
416 Where to? 1.3663 0.05013 172 126 29 17
417 Russian hackers just gave me a wedgie. 1.3657 0.05208 175 132 22 21
418 I'd give you a lift, but I'm going downtown 1.3654 0.05071 156 112 31 13
419 They are watching me either way, might as well let them hold up my pants! 1.3654 0.05152 156 113 29 14
420 And the service plan covers wedgies. 1.3653 0.05051 167 122 29 16
421 So my wife replied, “When pigs fly!” Ha! I showed her. 1.3653 0.04979 167 121 31 15
422 Why Uber when you can Drone? 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 36 9
423 The latest in wedgie technology. 1.3648 0.04921 159 113 34 12
424 It's called Lift 1.3648 0.04757 159 111 38 10
425 Jarard wonders if this is one of those, "if you see something, say something" moments 1.3647 0.04843 170 122 34 14
426 You didn’t think Amazon was going to cut out the teamsters did you? 1.3646 0.04633 181 129 38 14
427 Hi! Adam, Amazon customer service. So, what's wrong with YOUR suspenders? You gave them only two stars and no comment. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
428 I just need to lose ten more pounds and then it will take me wherever I want to go 1.3642 0.04935 162 116 33 13
429 They say the hallmark of modern civilization is that we provide solutions to problems that don't really exist but I don't think that's the case with Hoverspenders. 1.3641 0.04893 184 136 29 19
430 Everybody thinks that.....they really just hold up my pants. 1.3636 0.04713 187 136 34 17
431 Welcome to Amazon Delivery. You’re not afraid of heights, are you? 1.3636 0.04794 165 117 36 12
432 They're really starting to take off. 1.3631 0.05096 168 124 27 17
433 Yes it's a wedgie, but it's a high tech wedgie! 1.3631 0.04580 168 117 41 10
434 They're learning to stay on a leash. 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
435 Because they annoy more people than my leaf blowers." 1.3627 0.04365 193 136 44 13
436 Yep, when they land it is awfully embarrassing. 1.3626 0.04677 182 131 36 15
437 Are you waiting for that cab, or, are you ready for “Uber Lift”? 1.3626 0.05029 171 126 28 17
438 Two of these and you can get rid of your suspenders. Four and you can sell your car. 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
439 I used to have a traffic helicopter, before the budget cuts 1.3621 0.04760 174 125 35 14
440 They needed to go for a walk. 1.3621 0.04829 174 126 33 15
441 I was afraid that my regular suspenders were making me look too dorky. 1.3621 0.04760 174 125 35 14
442 Tech support at your service! How may I help you? 1.3618 0.05074 152 109 31 12
443 People said the same thing when regular suspenders first came out 1.3618 0.04988 152 108 33 11
444 I was tired of putting my pants on one leg at a time. 1.3616 0.04563 177 125 40 12
445 It’s really just about the suspension of disbelief. 1.3616 0.04769 177 128 34 15
446 They also give a little extra bounce in my step. 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
447 Sorry, I have to take off 1.3614 0.04534 166 115 42 9
448 Just pretend they're not there. 1.3613 0.05004 155 111 32 12
449 works great except with my kilt. 1.3611 0.04510 180 127 41 12
450 I still put them on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. 1.3608 0.04936 158 113 33 12
451 You should see how they work on my wife’s stockings. 1.3605 0.05004 172 127 28 17
452 They lift and separate. 1.3605 0.04725 172 123 36 13
453 The other benefit is real time monitoring of my shoelaces, right on my smart phone. 1.3600 0.05136 175 132 23 20
454 I just got SO sick of waiting for Ubers 1.3600 0.04941 150 106 34 10
455 I called in air support. 1.3600 0.04596 175 124 39 12
456 This was the best way for me to get off the no-fly list. 1.3600 0.04376 175 121 45 9
457 Best of all, they deliver themselves! 1.3598 0.05253 164 123 23 18
458 Lyft? 1.3598 0.04884 164 118 33 13
459 So Apple asked, "What new features can we add to the iPhone 11s?" 1.3598 0.04729 164 116 37 11
460 It's the latest benefit with Prime 1.3595 0.05131 153 111 29 13
461 It's like Uber, but for pants. 1.3593 0.05041 167 123 28 16
462 Wish me luck on Shark Tank tonight! 1.3593 0.04969 167 122 30 15
463 That's fine, if you want your shoulders to do all the work. 1.3590 0.04893 156 111 34 11
464 You should see how I get my underwear on. 1.3590 0.05141 156 114 28 14
465 Welcome to Uber Air! 1.3588 0.04380 170 117 45 8
466 CAN I BORROW YOUR IPHONE?, I'M LOST. 1.3588 0.05045 170 126 27 17
467 They're called Suspenders of Disbelief. 1.3585 0.05070 159 116 29 14
468 It's the latest from the Armani-Boeing collaboration. 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
469 A little tight in the crotch, but otherwise very comfortable. 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
470 I mean yours are cool, too. 1.3585 0.04910 159 114 33 12
471 They're great! I haven't had to use Uber in a month 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
472 You ordered the ride from Lyft? 1.3585 0.04990 159 115 31 13
473 It is a condition of my sex offender parole. 1.3581 0.05425 148 110 23 15
474 The bra version will be a lot easier now that I've fixed all the suspender issues. 1.3580 0.04766 162 115 36 11
475 Buddy, can you spare a 12-volt nicad rechargeable? 1.3580 0.04766 162 115 36 11
476 Drone walking pays well these days. 1.3576 0.05261 151 111 26 14
477 I'm your Uber driver. Give me your hand and I'll have you home in no time. 1.3576 0.04935 165 120 31 14
478 You could use them for other things, but then your pants would fall down. 1.3576 0.04705 165 117 37 11
479 The only problem is that when I go through a door my pants fall down. 1.3576 0.04783 165 118 35 12
480 My wife adopts them, but I'm the one who has to walk them every day. 1.3575 0.04658 179 129 36 14
481 You get used to the wedgies. 1.3571 0.05015 168 124 28 16
482 Hi, I'm Rick, this conversation may be recorded for training purposes. 1.3571 0.05186 154 113 27 14
483 It's drones disease. 1.3571 0.05267 154 114 25 15
484 I still put them on like everyone else, though. 1.3571 0.04871 168 122 32 14
485 It's Uber Air! 1.3571 0.05186 154 113 27 14
486 It was a free upgrade with my my Amazon Prime renewal. 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
487 Hi, I'm Ted from Amazon, I hear you want to suspend your account? 1.3566 0.05382 143 105 25 13
488 Everyone thought the Wright brothers were crazy too. 1.3566 0.05289 143 104 27 12
489 Yeah, I don’t know how I’m going to do that. I lost the controller, so I guess I’ll just have to wait until the batteries run out. 1.3564 0.04370 188 133 43 12
490 Ever hear of a drone walker? I make ten bucks an hour! 1.3562 0.04637 160 112 39 9
491 It's so hard to stay grounded these days. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
492 Ihey said the same thing to the Wright brothers. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
493 My interactions are recorded for quality and training purposes. 1.3560 0.04509 191 138 38 15
494 Now I no longer feel pressure to live in the moment; I can just record my life and watch it whenever I want. 1.3558 0.04898 163 118 32 13
495 Yeah well, they laughed at the guy who first invented suspenders. 1.3556 0.04568 180 129 38 13
496 This is our new Lyft service – grab my hand. 1.3552 0.04449 183 130 41 12
497 I didn't get the job and their feedback was that I have a tendency to over-engineer. Can you believe that? 1.3552 0.04711 183 134 33 16
498 There great except when they go in different directions. 1.3547 0.04714 172 124 35 13
499 The FAA temporarily grounded me .... 1.3544 0.05006 158 115 30 13
500 Lift and separate. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
501 No, it's not that. They were delivered by mistake and Amazon wants them back. 1.3540 0.04613 161 113 39 9
502 Trust me. I'm faster than a cab. 1.3537 0.04873 164 119 32 13
503 They take my Helicopter Parenting to the next level. 1.3536 0.04614 181 131 36 14
504 My pants? Just got them from Amazon. Why do you ask? 1.3534 0.05250 133 95 29 9
505 I find it uplifting. 1.3533 0.04743 150 105 37 8
506 Hi. Amazon sent me. 1.3533 0.05018 150 108 31 11
507 You do need to get used to the super wedgie though. 1.3533 0.05031 167 124 27 16
508 Listen to me, droning on and on. How have you been? 1.3529 0.04894 170 125 30 15
509 The restraining order was bad enough, but this seems excessive. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
510 The judge gave me a suspended sentence. 1.3529 0.05445 153 116 20 17
511 This must be your first time using a flysharing service. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
512 I have two more at home to pull up my socks 1.3526 0.04881 156 112 33 11
513 Instead of Uber, I now "Drone Home." 1.3526 0.05209 156 116 25 15
514 Actually, right now, I'm just trying to find my ex-wife. She has the remotes. 1.3523 0.04492 176 125 40 11
515 Takes window washing to a whole new level. 1.3522 0.04648 159 112 38 9
516 I think as long as I don't get too close to the sun everything will turn out all right. 1.3520 0.04511 179 128 39 12
517 I'm telling' ya, it's a shoo-in for the No-belt Prize. 1.3520 0.04369 179 126 43 10
518 So, what's up?" 1.3519 0.04754 162 116 35 11
519 Still relying on your own shoulders to hold your pants up, I see. 1.3517 0.04748 145 101 37 7
520 Look at me...droning on about my new suspenders! 1.3514 0.05061 148 107 30 11
521 For only 20 bucks I'll erase the footage of you and 'what's her name' I took through your bedroom window. 1.3514 0.04409 185 132 41 12
522 They just take such a weight off my shoulders. 1.3514 0.04970 148 106 32 10
523 And if they're not better than your regular suspenders, I'll return your forty-two hundred dollars. 1.3514 0.05061 148 107 30 11
524 Drones are way cooler than suspenders except when the batteries die and my pants fall off. 1.3509 0.04940 171 127 28 16
525 What I save on tolls, alone ... 1.3503 0.04855 157 113 33 11
526 It's new. It's called Econo Lyft. 1.3500 0.05031 160 118 28 14
527 Where can I drop you? 1.3500 0.04708 160 114 36 10
528 I'm the husband 2.0 your wife ordered with Prime's 2-hour delivery. 1.3500 0.04626 180 131 35 14
529 Not only do they hold up my pants, but the breeze is really quite delightful. 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
530 My wife has one remote control, my mother, the other! 1.3497 0.05549 143 108 20 15
531 I just thought to myself, there has got to be a better way. 1.3494 0.04824 166 121 32 13
532 You go first. If I step off the curb too quickly I get a wedgie. 1.3491 0.04836 169 124 31 14
533 The one on the right is the good one and on the left is the evil one. 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
534 I just don't trust self-driving cars. 1.3488 0.04916 172 128 28 16
535 What makes you think she doesn’t trust me? 1.3487 0.05135 152 112 27 13
536 You were droning on about your suspenders and I thought, "Now, there's an idea." 1.3486 0.04786 175 129 31 15
537 Putting my pants on one leg at a time was really slowing me down 1.3484 0.04808 155 111 34 10
538 I see you're still wearing those old-fashioned suspenders. 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
539 Free transportation to work is another Amazon benefit. 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
540 Now I never use Uber. 1.3481 0.05074 158 117 27 14
541 You have to suspend disbelief 1.3481 0.05074 158 117 27 14
542 Forget about Uber—I can drop you off. 1.3481 0.04659 158 112 37 9
543 ...just like Lyft, but with an i 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
544 Who needs Uber? I have "Over." 1.3481 0.04864 181 136 27 18
545 Sure they’re fun, but sometimes they want to go in opposite directions. 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
546 Gotta fly, Frank. Sorry to drone on about my new job. 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
547 They're just like your suspenders, but they also keep me cool. 1.3478 0.04927 161 118 30 13
548 No, they are for my hernia. 1.3478 0.04927 161 118 30 13
549 Neat suspenders. Vintage? 1.3478 0.04927 161 118 30 13
550 Hi there. I’m Jeff Bezos. Are you a Prime member yet? 1.3476 0.04862 164 120 31 13
551 Ha! I bet you still floss your own teeth too. 1.3473 0.04799 167 122 32 13
552 It's my new product line for helicopter parents. 1.3472 0.05245 144 106 26 12
553 I'm fine, unless there's lightning. 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
554 So Timmy says "Dad, can we please get drones, pleeeease? I promise I'll walk them - I promise!" 1.3471 0.05024 170 128 25 17
555 Don’t just stand there — I’m being held up! 1.3468 0.04891 173 129 28 16
556 I just put my pants on one drone at a time. 1.3466 0.04762 176 130 31 15
557 Have you considered changing your long distance carrier? 1.3464 0.04705 179 132 32 15
558 I'm your Uber. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
559 They're called upsenders. 1.3462 0.05035 156 115 28 13
560 Can I give you a lift? 1.3462 0.04868 156 113 32 11
561 My company just switched over to drone delivery for business trips. Saves a fortune on plane tickets. 1.3462 0.04783 156 112 34 10
562 Keeps the pants up great but sitting down takes some getting used to. 1.3462 0.04783 156 112 34 10
563 Honestly, as your friend, those suspenders make you look like a nerd. 1.3457 0.04978 162 120 28 14
564 No, bird strikes are quite rare. 1.3450 0.04567 171 123 37 11
565 Just got the new double hip replacements. Never felt better in my life. 1.3450 0.04716 171 125 33 13
566 It beats using a lawn chair and balloons. 1.3448 0.04513 174 125 38 11
567 As I age, I have them fly higher. 1.3444 0.05064 151 111 28 12
568 We didn’t name it Lyft for nothing 1.3444 0.05151 151 112 26 13
569 Could I have my remote back, please? 1.3442 0.05243 154 116 23 15
570 It's the perfect combination of the practical and impractical. 1.3442 0.04994 154 113 29 12
571 They’re chastity suspenders with a live video feed to my wife. 1.3442 0.05323 154 117 21 16
572 They keep my pants up and my enemies down. 1.3441 0.04244 186 132 44 10
573 Why? you ask? Well, to keep my pants up 1.3439 0.04926 157 115 30 12
574 My wife has two of them attached to her bra. 1.3439 0.05008 157 116 28 13
575 Suspenders AND a belt? Big fashion faux pas. 1.3438 0.04860 160 117 31 12
576 Back to the drawing board. Liftoff gave me one hell of a wedgie. 1.3438 0.05019 160 119 27 14
577 They let me know if I am coming or going. 1.3436 0.04952 163 121 28 14
578 Yeah, there are one or two disadvantages." 1.3436 0.04875 163 120 30 13
579 How would you like to invest in a brand new start-up? 1.3436 0.04470 163 115 40 8
580 Hi I'm George your ride for tonight. 1.3434 0.04490 198 147 34 17
581 Yes, I pride myself in being an early adopter. 1.3432 0.04601 169 122 36 11
582 They're a lot easier to walk than dogs. 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
583 Have you been saved? 1.3430 0.04692 172 126 33 13
584 Hi I'm your Uber driver 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
585 I feel ten pounds lighter. 1.3427 0.04066 178 123 49 6
586 It legitimizes the hovering parent label. 1.3425 0.04594 181 133 34 14
587 Just swipe your Metro Card and we'll be in Brooklyn in no time 1.3425 0.04527 181 132 36 13
588 That’s right, Uber Lite. Cmon gimme your hand! 1.3425 0.05362 146 110 22 14
589 I'm the new white house communication director 1.3425 0.05362 146 110 22 14
590 Anything is better than my last parole officer. 1.3424 0.04670 184 137 31 16
591 Long run? It's cheaper than Uber. 1.3423 0.05019 149 109 29 11
592 Since the cutbacks at the radio station, this is the only way I can report on traffic. 1.3421 0.05036 152 112 28 12
593 Stop me if I drone on and on. 1.3419 0.04795 155 112 33 10
594 They’re rescues 1.3418 0.05140 158 119 24 15
595 It will be great once they fix the wedgie problem. 1.3418 0.04981 158 117 28 13
596 They keep me in a state of suspension. 1.3416 0.04914 161 119 29 13
597 Would you like me to drop you off? 1.3416 0.04914 161 119 29 13
598 Wait until I flip it into reverse. 1.3416 0.04835 161 118 31 12
599 This is gonna revolutionize the wedgie ! 1.3415 0.04926 164 122 28 14
600 My wife makes sure I come straight home from work. 1.3415 0.04772 164 120 32 12
601 It requires a willing suspension of disbelief, too. 1.3415 0.04772 164 120 32 12
602 What's with the face? They put my pants on one leg at a time, just like anybody else. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
603 You asked for an Uber driver, didn't you?" Hop on! 1.3410 0.04372 173 123 41 9
604 They're smart suspenders. 1.3409 0.04752 176 131 30 15
605 I have cut my commute in half, but pigeons and flying insects are a problem. 1.3407 0.04506 182 133 36 13
606 Best part is I can put my pants on both legs at a time. 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
607 My wife got the Dachshunds. 1.3401 0.04874 147 106 32 9
608 Of course there will be accidents, but far FEWER accidents than with conventional suspenders. 1.3400 0.04990 150 110 29 11
609 You called for an Uber? 1.3399 0.04921 153 112 30 11
610 It's not loitering. It's hovering. 1.3399 0.04921 153 112 30 11
611 Pretty fly, am I right? 1.3399 0.04833 153 111 32 10
612 They're great. Just don't accidentally attach it to your underwear. 1.3397 0.05419 156 121 17 18
613 Oh, they wait outside the bathroom. 1.3396 0.04791 159 116 32 11
614 I power up when I want to sing soprano....... 1.3396 0.04707 159 115 34 10
615 Funny story, they were actually delivered by drone. 1.3396 0.05112 159 120 24 15
616 It's hell when one goes left and the other goes right... but it keeps your pants up! 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
617 I get the odd wedgie with fresh batteries, but otherwise its game over for belts and suspenders. 1.3395 0.04305 162 113 43 6
618 Well, you did ask for tech support. 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
619 Tip #1 remember to. charge them each night. Tip #2 wear your good boxers ... just in case. 1.3394 0.04508 165 118 38 9
620 Trust me, I'll have you there in five minutes. 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
621 I’m Alex, your new Amazon friend. I come with free drone delivery. 1.3394 0.04901 165 123 28 14
622 They’re taking me out for a walk. 1.3394 0.04425 165 117 40 8
623 You can't go viral dressed like that. 1.3392 0.04323 171 121 42 8
624 I put my pants on one drone at a time like everyone else. 1.3392 0.04848 171 128 28 15
625 I’d say just be careful not to fly them too high because the wedgies can be unforgiving. 1.3391 0.04501 174 126 37 11
626 Sure, they cost more than regular suspenders, but the lumbar support is incredible. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
627 And facial recognition software anticipates when I need to drop trou for a bathroom break. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
628 You might want to rethink your wall. 1.3381 0.05644 139 107 17 15
629 It was then that Mark knew it was time to move out of Silicon Valley. 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
630 And they come in red. 1.3377 0.05137 151 113 25 13
631 Well, for one thing, they keep my pants up! 1.3377 0.05222 151 114 23 14
632 Okay, I’ll drop in tomorrow. 1.3376 0.04829 157 115 31 11
633 It's a new taxi service called "You-ber". 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
634 What do you think? Kickstarter or GoFundMe? 1.3374 0.04623 163 118 35 10
635 Psssssst...You wanna get high? 1.3374 0.04784 163 120 31 12
636 So,Marv,you are telling me that everyone at work thinks I'm flying by the seat of my pants. 1.3373 0.04486 166 119 38 9
637 Amazon Prime now delivers curbside assistance. 1.3373 0.04813 169 126 29 14
638 FAA regulations require I warn you about the wedgies. 1.3373 0.04588 169 123 35 11
639 It’s a little tight in the groin... why do you ask? 1.3372 0.04533 172 125 36 11
640 Amazon Call-A-Date has been delivered. 1.3371 0.04624 175 129 33 13
641 Yeah I know, but it's better than flying with American Airlines. 1.3371 0.04428 178 129 38 11
642 Amazon wants their underwear back. 1.3371 0.04638 178 132 32 14
643 I'm just like anybody else, I put my pants on with one drone at a time 1.3370 0.04464 184 135 36 13
644 No, they are just to hold my pants up. 1.3357 0.05423 140 106 21 13
645 They just take me right to the warehouse, so I don't have to waste my time waiting for my deliveries anymore. 1.3356 0.04982 146 107 29 10
646 Skynet turned out more like my mom than I would have thought... 1.3356 0.04789 146 105 33 8
647 I used to be a belt and suspenders guy 1.3355 0.04692 155 112 34 9
648 Of course it won't fly,but the cool breeze is awesome. 1.3355 0.04416 155 109 40 6
649 First time riding an Uber Upper? 1.3355 0.04692 155 112 34 9
650 It's Elon Musk's new clothing line only sold in the break room at Tesla HQ. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
651 It's called Uber Wedgie. 1.3354 0.05048 158 119 25 14
652 I ordered a velociraptor belt and they sent a quadrocopter suspender system instead. You get used to it. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
653 And your shoes last longer, too. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
654 I asked Alexa to order a pair of suspenders. 1.3354 0.05128 158 120 23 15
655 I'm telling ya, it's worth it. No more knee pain. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
656 I’m also a vegan 1.3354 0.05128 158 120 23 15
657 It's called fashion, Jim." 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
658 Yes, battery outages can indeed be a bit revealing... 1.3354 0.04822 161 119 30 12
659 I dialed up Uber and these guys just showed up. 1.3354 0.05057 161 122 24 15
660 I'm available with same-day delivery. 1.3353 0.04566 170 124 35 11
661 You're old school. I love it! 1.3353 0.04641 170 125 33 12
662 Up is good. Down, not so much. 1.3353 0.04436 173 125 38 10
663 Ya, they do go in different directions. Watch this 1.3353 0.04800 173 130 28 15
664 They're suspending my right to privacy. 1.3352 0.04616 179 133 32 14
665 The only downside? Urinals. 1.3352 0.04495 182 134 35 13
666 I might not be what you were expecting, but, yes, I am the angel of death. 1.3351 0.04394 188 138 37 13
667 I find suspenders so pretentious. 1.3351 0.04593 191 144 30 17
668 Hey, you want to see some pictures of your wife sunbathing? 1.3333 0.04841 156 115 30 11
669 The only drawback is when people are standing next to me at the urinal. 1.3333 0.04290 177 127 41 9
670 Your no fly zone is down. 1.3333 0.04994 153 114 27 12
671 It takes a while to get used to the wedgy, but it sure beats a vasectomy! 1.3333 0.05182 165 128 19 18
672 How cool is this, Nick? Now I can record reality and watch it when I've got time. 1.3333 0.05047 147 109 27 11
673 They also make you ten pounds lighter! 1.3333 0.04262 174 124 42 8
674 Suspenders AND air conditioning 1.3333 0.04729 153 111 33 9
675 Amazon customer service...joe can I help you? 1.3333 0.04693 159 116 33 10
676 You could wait for an uber, but I'm trying Amazon Prime's new service. 1.3333 0.04785 177 134 27 16
677 My drones still put on my pants one leg at a time. 1.3333 0.04667 156 113 34 9
678 It works if you can suspend disbelief. 1.3333 0.04716 162 119 32 11
679 I see you’re still wearing suspenders. 1.3333 0.04889 165 124 27 14
680 It's a little awkward in elevators..." 1.3333 0.04692 171 127 31 13
681 It's the only way I can get up. 1.3333 0.04751 168 125 30 13
682 No, they can't lift me off the ground. They're just holding my pants up. 1.3333 0.05215 144 108 24 12
683 Well yes, the men’s room is a problem. 1.3333 0.05079 153 115 25 13
684 Since the affair, I’m not allowed to leave home without them! 1.3333 0.04706 174 130 30 14
685 Pull my finger. 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
686 I’d love to chat, but I’ve gotta take off. 1.3317 0.04096 199 144 44 11
687 The ones my wife uses lift AND separate! 1.3315 0.04769 181 138 26 17
688 You're still walking to get around? How quaint. 1.3315 0.04295 181 131 40 10
689 I always thought the no drones after Labor Day rule was a little silly. 1.3315 0.04627 178 133 31 14
690 You should see my bathing suit. 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
691 We're disrupting the suspender sector. 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
692 You're telling me they just stay up without drones? 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
693 They work great, but I don’t recommend the underwear model. 1.3314 0.04576 169 124 34 11
694 It’s like the ‘Uber’ of suspenders. 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
695 Why do I wear drone suspenders? To keep my pants up. 1.3313 0.04632 166 122 33 11
696 My therapist said I had too much on my shoulders. 1.3313 0.04771 163 121 30 12
697 Third floor? 1.3313 0.04409 160 114 39 7
698 It's less dumb that Google Glass, that's for sure. 1.3312 0.04981 157 118 26 13
699 Revolving doors have been an issue. 1.3312 0.05143 157 120 22 15
700 You just refuse to acknowledge how technology can simplify your life. 1.3312 0.04642 157 114 34 9
701 I only wear FAA-approved suspenders. 1.3312 0.04899 157 117 28 12
702 Major weggies, but it sure beats the subway. 1.3312 0.04642 157 114 34 9
703 And then I thought, 'It's about time someone tried to disrupt the suspender industry.' 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
704 nah, they just keep my pants up. 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
705 Yeah, I know, but they were really irritating my shoulders. 1.3312 0.04966 154 115 27 12
706 Amazon Prime is amazing! They even put on the pants for you! 1.3311 0.04948 151 112 28 11
707 My voice is slightly higher than normal due to the fresh batteries 1.3310 0.05091 145 108 26 11
708 It beats waiting at signals, but I'm still working on getting through tunnels. 1.3308 0.05393 130 97 23 10
709 Do YOU think I drone on and on? 1.3297 0.04617 182 137 30 15
710 They keep me in suspense. 1.3296 0.04739 179 136 27 16
711 Yes, I do always have a wedgie 1.3295 0.04717 173 130 29 14
712 ...and I feel twenty pounds lighter. 1.3294 0.04317 170 122 40 8
713 They came with the pants. 1.3294 0.04476 170 124 36 10
714 They came with the glasses. 1.3294 0.04629 170 126 32 12
715 It's not cool yet, but when it is, I'll stop doing it 1.3293 0.04763 167 125 29 13
716 My bully outsourced his wedgies. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
717 Silly, but it sure beats calling lyft. 1.3293 0.04901 164 124 26 14
718 Just wait 'til you see how I use the toilet. 1.3292 0.05121 161 124 21 16
719 Hey, I do it just like you - one leg at a time. 1.3292 0.04808 161 120 29 12
720 Do you believe in Jeff Bezos, our Lord and Savior? 1.3292 0.05121 161 124 21 16
721 Hey buddy, can you spare a lithium battery? 1.3290 0.05023 155 117 25 13
722 My voice might be higher but the pants sure stay put. 1.3290 0.04587 155 112 35 8
723 They call it suspender animation." 1.3290 0.04939 155 116 27 12
724 Hi, Daryl? I'm your Uber Driver. 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
725 You won't believe what happens when I have to use the toilet. 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
726 This is what they meant when they said they were suspending the drone program! 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
727 What did you think I meant by 'Let's get totally high off our asses on the nearest street corner'? 1.3286 0.05114 140 104 26 10
728 I needed something uplifting after the recent election season. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
729 So I was shopping for a belt when I spotted this electronics store... 1.3281 0.04253 192 141 39 12
730 Do these drones make me look fat? 1.3279 0.04595 183 138 30 15
731 I have a helicopter wife. 1.3278 0.04583 180 135 31 14
732 Silicon Valet 1.3275 0.04606 171 127 32 12
733 ..."and then she accused me of droning on, and on..." 1.3275 0.04680 171 128 30 13
734 They were court ordered after I mooned my old frat house. 1.3275 0.04895 171 131 24 16
735 It's a huge weight off my shoulders. 1.3274 0.04586 168 124 33 11
736 "The ladies definitely notice." 1.3274 0.04663 168 125 31 12
737 Suspendered animation 1.3274 0.04586 168 124 33 11
738 I heard there is a delivery position open at Amazon. 1.3273 0.04313 165 118 40 7
739 And it’s way faster than the Long Island Expressway...... 1.3273 0.04722 165 123 30 12
740 They hold up my pants and my flagging sense of self-importance. 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
741 It takes a little longer to go through TSA screening, but it's worth it. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
742 I mean, your suspenders have that classic look....so, that’s cool. 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
743 Amazon does same-day friend delivery now. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
744 I was a Walmart greeter til Amazon snatched me up. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
745 Keeps me in suspense! 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
746 I swear, success hasn't changed me. I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you. 1.3272 0.04702 162 120 31 11
747 Did you order an Amazon escort? 1.3270 0.04846 159 119 28 12
748 This way I can keep my pants up AND spy on my neighbors. 1.3269 0.04740 156 115 31 10
749 When they’re not holding up my pants, they’re hunting down terrorists. 1.3268 0.04892 153 114 28 11
750 Well Gary, a wedgie is a small price to pay for living in the 21st century. 1.3265 0.05031 147 110 26 11
751 It’s a little tight in certain spots, but I’ll never be caught with my pants down. 1.3261 0.04306 184 135 38 11
752 It's called Dryft. You'll want to avoid it's competitor, Dröpt. 1.3260 0.04758 181 139 25 17
753 Hi! I'm your Uber driver. Hang onto my hand. 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
754 I don't mind the wedgie because it shaved at least 35 minutes off my commute. 1.3257 0.04150 175 125 43 7
755 I am going to nail that falsetto at any cost! 1.3257 0.04600 175 131 31 13
756 I rolled up my sleeves to go with a more casual look. 1.3256 0.04870 172 132 24 16
757 Suspend Disbelief. 1.3256 0.04583 172 128 32 12
758 Hey, Buddy can you spare 20 double A batteries? 1.3256 0.04656 172 129 30 13
759 Actually keeping my pants up is secondary to the constant breeze. 1.3256 0.04508 172 127 34 11
760 And best of all, I don't have to deal with traffic anymore 1.3254 0.04325 169 122 39 8
761 Sir! Would you like a demonstration of the Apple iWedge? 1.3254 0.04639 169 126 31 12
762 my tesla is in the shop 1.3254 0.04485 169 124 35 10
763 One by one the humans all became puppets of Amazon, some figuratively others literally. 1.3253 0.04458 166 121 36 9
764 I call them suspendromes. 1.3253 0.04458 166 121 36 9
765 It's rude to stare at them directly. 1.3252 0.04758 163 122 29 12
766 Finally, I can slam-dunk. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
767 . . . but, oy, the wedgies. 1.3248 0.04967 157 119 25 13
768 Google 'suspension britches' and enter coupon code, 'alto.' 1.3247 0.05202 154 119 20 15
769 It's true my pants won't stay up for a couple days after a software upgrade, but that's a small price to pay for the convenience. 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
770 Works for bra straps, too. I ordered my wife a set for Christmas. 1.3245 0.04656 151 110 33 8
771 The nice thing is, when you step on the scale, your 35 pounds lighter" 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
772 Could you speak a little louder” 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
773 Unlike yours, mine hold my pants up, drop them down and email selfies. 1.3243 0.05182 148 113 22 13
774 All you need is a note from your Chiropractor. 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
775 It's like Uber, for pants. 1.3241 0.05074 145 109 25 11
776 I am NOT 'a kid'—I'm a full-drone man. 1.3240 0.04454 179 133 34 12
777 Do you think the belt is too much? 1.3239 0.04786 176 135 25 16
778 I'm guaranteed next day delivery on Amazon Prime. 1.3237 0.05025 139 103 27 9
779 We make them for socks and brassieres too. 1.3237 0.05327 139 106 21 12
780 Analog suspenders are so 2017. 1.3237 0.04333 173 126 38 9
781 These are my new drone suspenders. Pants stay up, shoulders don't hurt and I can sing tenor now! 1.3235 0.04303 170 123 39 8
782 You just have to suspend your disbelief. 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
783 I put my pants on like anyone else... one drone at a time! 1.3235 0.04837 170 130 25 15
784 Behold: suspension of disbelief. 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
785 Luddite. 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
786 Hi, Tim! We at Amazon are taking personal customer service to a new level! 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
787 No belts, no suspenders, and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. 1.3232 0.04888 164 125 25 14
788 You haven’t really had a wedgie until you’ve tried this. 1.3232 0.04653 164 122 31 11
789 Well you told me to buzz off. 1.3230 0.04874 161 122 26 13
790 I have to tell you, buddy, I like your retro-chic. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
791 And when the battery light goes red I just aim for the Hudson... 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
792 I’m from Amazon. 1.3228 0.04774 158 118 29 11
793 No, the only problem is when I have to use the toilet. 1.3228 0.04604 189 145 27 17
794 Yeah, I ‘ve convinced many that I can actually fly, but you know mostly they just keep my pants up. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
795 ...And they come free with my Amazon Prime. 1.3224 0.04649 183 140 27 16
796 What can I say, they delivered my Amazon order and I just fell in love with them. 1.3224 0.04815 152 113 29 10
797 Belt and ascenders! 1.3224 0.04904 152 114 27 11
798 I can't stress this enough...no thongs. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
799 The guy at the store said they'll make me look taller. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
800 Watch me cross when the DONT WALK light comes in” 1.3218 0.04682 174 132 28 14
801 I'll admit, it gets a little awkward when the batteries run out. 1.3214 0.04493 168 124 34 10
802 It’s tricky, but I try to turn them off just as I open the door to the stall. 1.3214 0.04493 168 124 34 10
803 Can you speak up? My suspenders are really loud. 1.3214 0.04572 168 125 32 11
804 I'm from the Amazon help desk. 1.3214 0.04413 168 123 36 9
805 Can *your* suspenders take a continuous aerial selfie? I thought not. 1.3214 0.04572 168 125 32 11
806 It's the latest in smart suspenders. 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
807 Did you call for the Lyft? 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
808 I could just drone on and on about how great these are! 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
809 They give me a wedgie, but it's cheaper than Uber. 1.3212 0.04466 165 121 35 9
810 Suspenders work, but they really look stupid. 1.3210 0.05004 162 125 22 15
811 All Bob kept thinking while Bill spoke was “Geez he drones on and on.” 1.3210 0.04605 162 120 32 10
812 Suspenders by Amazon, they really deliver! 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
813 Go ahead! Wait for the cross-town bus if you want to! 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
814 So what's got YOUR panties in a bunch? 1.3205 0.04811 156 117 28 11
815 We don't see Uber and Lyft as direct competitors. 1.3205 0.04980 156 119 24 13
816 Hi, I'm a sex offender, but it's under control. 1.3204 0.04811 181 141 22 18
817 Nice suspenders Grandpa! 1.3203 0.04697 153 113 31 9
818 No more posting. It's just one, long livestream. 1.3203 0.04788 153 114 29 10
819 I need FAA clearance to get within five miles of the airport, but otherwise they work great! 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
820 Google Belt. 1.3202 0.04533 178 134 31 13
821 Welcome to Uber 2.0. Hold on tight. 1.3200 0.04587 175 132 30 13
822 '... and they double up as hairdryers!' 1.3200 0.04368 150 107 38 5
823 Plus they make climbing back up to my apartment a breeze. 1.3200 0.04214 175 127 40 8
824 Never get caught with your pants down! 1.3200 0.05122 150 115 22 13
825 It's like Uber, but for imbeciles. 1.3200 0.04944 150 113 26 11
826 Hi, I'm your Uber... better hold on tight! 1.3200 0.05294 150 117 18 15
827 They can't take me off the ground, but the humming lifts my spirits. 1.3200 0.04760 150 111 30 9
828 Quick! Call tech support! Too... much... lift... 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
829 With a little bit of luck I will rise above the fray. 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
830 It's the new Lyft. Literally. 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
831 The thing is, Jer, I don't put my pants on one leg at a time. 1.3197 0.04728 147 108 31 8
832 It's free shipping on orders over 140 pounds. 1.3197 0.04921 147 110 27 10
833 Drone up, dude. Those "suspenders" are so 2017. 1.3196 0.04451 194 148 30 16
834 Only problem is they only use "Apple" chargers. 1.3195 0.04391 169 124 36 9
835 Because saggy pants would be distracting. 1.3195 0.04391 169 124 36 9
836 It's way cooler than a belt. 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
837 Since I got these I'm six inches taller and I've stopped doing stuff I might need to deny someday. 1.3195 0.04471 169 125 34 10
838 Wanna get high? 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
839 Then who has the remote? 1.3194 0.04691 144 105 32 7
840 The best part is, I avoid the security lines and TSA. 1.3194 0.05367 144 112 18 14
841 Farewell, erectile dysfunction. 1.3193 0.04360 166 121 37 8
842 Sorry -- that look tells me I've been droning on and on... 1.3193 0.04443 166 122 35 9
843 ... but when I gotta go, they gotta go. 1.3193 0.04683 166 125 29 12
844 Starting next spring, Amazon will start to transport people as part of the Prime membership. 1.3191 0.05261 141 108 21 12
845 This is just so much easier than calling an Uber. 1.3191 0.04861 141 104 29 8
846 What do you mean you 'walked'? 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
847 Suspendairs are the new iPhone 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
848 I got tired of waiting for the flying car to be invented. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
849 These are the top of the line suspenders....I just can't wear them near an airport." 1.3188 0.05141 138 104 24 10
850 Guess who has two drones and no dates. 1.3188 0.04553 160 118 33 9
851 They were a Father's Day gift. 1.3187 0.04251 182 134 38 10
852 Well no, it’s not entirely practical. 1.3185 0.05114 135 101 25 9
853 To tell the truth, they're my wife's idea. Something about keeping an eye on things. 1.3185 0.04431 157 114 36 7
854 Why drive when you can fly by the seat of your pants?! Literally. 1.3184 0.04580 179 136 29 14
855 I'm a god on Instagram. 1.3182 0.04761 154 115 29 10
856 It's the next Uber. 1.3179 0.04396 173 128 35 10
857 I’m your new Amazon delivery man. 1.3179 0.04472 173 129 33 11
858 Yes, it’s no frills, but it’s the cheapest way to fly. 1.3179 0.04620 173 131 29 13
859 They come in especially handy when I'm on the scales at Weight Watchers. 1.3179 0.04620 173 131 29 13
860 The salesman kept hovering and then said OK buy one and get one free! 1.3179 0.04396 173 128 35 10
861 Yeah but they don’t help when your fly’s undone. 1.3179 0.04472 173 129 33 11
862 Can I borrow your charger? 1.3179 0.04396 173 128 35 10
863 To hold my pants up. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
864 I find it very up lifting. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
865 No, I don’t pull my pants up like everyone else. 1.3179 0.05093 151 116 22 13
866 You ordered something tall, dark and handsome? Amazon provides. 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
867 My wife got tired of my cheating, so she designed this. This way she knows my pants are staying on, and all she has to do is hit the "return to base" button, and she's got me running home. 1.3176 0.04526 170 127 32 11
868 Yes, but it’s not easy going to a rest room. 1.3176 0.04369 170 125 36 9
869 I’m taking selfies to the next level. 1.3176 0.04677 170 129 28 13
870 Now my pants stay up, and I always know where my drones are. 1.3176 0.04892 148 111 27 10
871 And I don’t even have to pay for haircuts anymore either 1.3176 0.04602 148 108 33 7
872 I felt that plain suspenders no longer projected enough quirkiness. 1.3176 0.04602 148 108 33 7
873 Nice to meet you. I'm your Amazon Prime customer service agent. 1.3176 0.04701 148 109 31 8
874 Landings are fine, but during take offs I keep getting a wedgie 1.3176 0.04798 148 110 29 9
875 You should see my tie rack. 1.3174 0.04581 167 125 31 11
876 Yeah, they literally take off ten pounds, but tend to ride up a little. 1.3174 0.04659 167 126 29 12
877 It’s a way to become Superman without actually becoming a bird or plane 1.3172 0.04559 145 105 34 6
878 Love the retro look! 1.3172 0.04962 145 109 26 10
879 I'm the writer, director, star, and cinematographer. 1.3172 0.04322 186 139 35 12
880 Yeah, but suspenders look so dorky. 1.3169 0.04159 183 134 40 9
881 What do you think of my new shoes? 1.3168 0.04860 161 123 25 13
882 The suspense is killing you, right? 1.3168 0.04779 161 122 27 12
883 First time with Uber? 1.3167 0.04349 180 134 35 11
884 And the only time my pants fall is when the battery dies! 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
885 The court ordered it after the unfortunate incident at the preschool 1.3165 0.05502 139 109 16 14
886 They’re emotional support for my trousers 1.3165 0.04673 158 118 30 10
887 It's Amazon Prime's new delivery service - takes you right to your door! 1.3165 0.04673 158 118 30 10
888 I got tired of waiting for my jetpack. 1.3165 0.04586 158 117 32 9
889 You should try it. It's really uplifting. 1.3165 0.04586 158 117 32 9
890 I can't get the tech to work, but it does keep the mosquitoes away. 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
891 I'm your Lyft. 1.3161 0.04993 155 119 23 13
892 I'm sorry for droning on. 1.3161 0.04645 155 115 31 9
893 I got tired of waiting for the walk signal 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
894 Works great now but I flashed my in-laws during Beta testing. 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
895 My every move is being documented and automatically posted on social media, saving me tons of time to do more stuff to put on social media. 1.3158 0.04653 171 130 28 13
896 Not only do I feel lighter on my feet, but it keeps the flies away too. 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
897 Personally,I find the latest advances in drone technology uplifting. 1.3158 0.04420 152 110 36 6
898 Well, looks like I gotta fly. 1.3158 0.04798 152 114 28 10
899 I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Why do you ask? 1.3155 0.04302 187 140 35 12
900 They also keep my pants up. 1.3155 0.04233 168 122 39 7
901 You should see my invention for E.D. 1.3155 0.04787 168 129 25 14
902 If it malfunctions, I get a killer wedgie. 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
903 I’m a Prime example of a helicopter parent. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
904 After a few days, you barely notice you're wearing them. 1.3152 0.04211 184 136 38 10
905 Need anything from Amazon while I'm there? 1.3152 0.04418 184 139 32 13
906 The best part is, for every pair you buy, a needy child gets a free abacus. 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
907 What does it look like I'm doing? I'm preparing for takeoff! 1.3152 0.04350 184 138 34 12
908 My eyes are down here! 1.3152 0.04367 165 121 36 8
909 The algorithm must have sent me to the wrong address. 1.3152 0.04195 165 119 40 6
910 This isn't another one of my fly-by-night schemes. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
911 I'm much less likely to be pulled over for driving while black. 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
912 The only problem is they are voice activated and mine changes when I take off. 1.3149 0.04537 181 138 29 14
913 Sorry if I'm droning on... 1.3148 0.04754 162 123 27 12
914 My new Dronespenders replace my belt, selfie stick, and GoPro. If I reel them in, they also replace my barber! 1.3148 0.04834 162 124 25 13
915 I'll show you, just say "release the drones". 1.3148 0.04590 162 121 31 10
916 A parachute’s included in case it works too well. 1.3148 0.04590 162 121 31 10
917 Sorry, I don't do windows. 1.3147 0.05004 143 108 25 10
918 The job description just said flexible with ability to keep several balls in the air. 1.3147 0.04593 143 104 33 6
919 The only downside is trouser turbulence. 1.3146 0.04378 178 133 34 11
920 They put the "suspend" in suspenders. 1.3146 0.04590 178 136 28 14
921 It's by court order... 1.3145 0.04898 159 122 24 13
922 The name's Wright. Orville Wright. 1.3145 0.04474 159 117 34 8
923 This new version is 99.99% wedgie-free. 1.3145 0.04292 159 115 38 6
924 They've eliminated thousands of parole officer jobs, so I'm under video surveillance. 1.3145 0.05058 159 124 20 15
925 You're just upset because you didn't think of it first. 1.3145 0.04648 159 119 30 10
926 Maybe you're right. The suspenders would have been cheaper. 1.3143 0.04200 175 128 39 8
927 Helicopter parenting is so 2017. 1.3141 0.04709 156 117 29 10
928 As you can see, I don't need a Lyft. 1.3141 0.04437 156 114 35 7
929 Do you put your pants on one drone at a time? 1.3141 0.04620 156 116 31 9
930 You might want to get one for your fly. 1.3141 0.05209 156 123 17 16
931 Hello, my name is Elon. It's nice to meet you. 1.3141 0.04881 156 119 25 12
932 Stop me if I'm droning on. 1.3141 0.05129 156 122 19 15
933 Hey buddy, can you spare a battery? 1.3141 0.04709 156 117 29 10
934 The good news, it cuts my commute time in half. The bad news, my hair is always a mess. 1.3141 0.04247 156 112 39 5
935 And you said it would never take off 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
936 I always felt so self -conscious wearing suspenders.... 1.3140 0.04703 172 132 26 14
937 My cape's at the cleaners 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
938 The only downside is undoing the fly. 1.3137 0.04948 153 117 24 12
939 50 cents for the first 1/5 mile, 25 cents each 1/5 mile thereafter. 1.3137 0.04680 153 114 30 9
940 I'm on neighborhood watch recon tonight... Wish me luck... 1.3136 0.04376 169 125 35 9
941 I'm recording my entire life from all angles. 1.3136 0.04295 169 124 37 8
942 Well, they are less pretentious than suspenders. 1.3135 0.04330 185 139 34 12
943 Hi, I’m Harold. Amazon sent me in response to you ad in Personals. 1.3133 0.05018 150 115 23 12
944 You're right, it is still just belt and suspenders 1.3133 0.04510 166 124 32 10
945 You know, at first I didn't like it when they started to follow me home, but now I really feel we built a connection. 1.3133 0.04428 166 123 34 9
946 Trust me, they work! They're called "suspenders of disbelief." 1.3133 0.04510 166 124 32 10
947 Alexa heard you needed a friend. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
948 NOTE: (I submitted last week but I just now thought of an addendum that would make it even funnier!) So, for the construction guys sitting on the beam, eating lunch with the grim reaper:"That's a bit overkill. Most guys just bring a plastic fork." 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
949 It’s like a bow tie. Only some guys can pull these off. 1.3129 0.04566 163 122 31 10
950 They’re called Google Suspenders 1.3129 0.04482 163 121 33 9
951 If they're holding up your pants, the FAA doesn't mind. 1.3129 0.04221 163 118 39 6
952 Sorry. It's only available to Amazon Prime members. 1.3129 0.04566 163 122 31 10
953 Of course, restrooms are challenging. 1.3129 0.04566 163 122 31 10
954 Did you order a taxi? 1.3129 0.04310 163 119 37 7
955 Uber Air at your service 1.3128 0.04210 179 132 38 9
956 They not only keep my pants up but I can make it across town in 5 minutes. 1.3128 0.04357 179 134 34 11
957 How do yours work? 1.3125 0.04537 160 119 32 9
958 I got them from the men's up-parel department. 1.3125 0.04623 160 120 30 10
959 I got tired of putting my pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
960 Once you adjust the upward thrust, suspendrones are great. 1.3125 0.04332 176 131 35 10
961 Hi, I'm Jake, your new Amazon InstaFriend! 1.3125 0.04480 176 133 31 12
962 I remember when I was like you, putting on my own suspenders like an animal. 1.3121 0.04458 173 130 32 11
963 We all put our trousers on one leg at a time, it is how we keep them up that varies. 1.3121 0.04305 173 128 36 9
964 Patent pending. 1.3121 0.04607 173 132 28 13
965 It's for my new job at Amazon 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
966 The crotch sensors guarantee just the right amount of support. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
967 I've combined Human surveillance with the drones, plus the added feature in that it keeps my pants up." 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
968 It documents my actions and also holds my pants up! 1.3117 0.04833 154 117 26 11
969 I got tired of waiting for flying cars. 1.3117 0.04562 154 114 32 8
970 Except for the occasional wedgie during a power surge it works 1.3117 0.05090 154 120 20 14
971 Sharper Image had them on sale. 1.3116 0.05224 138 106 21 11
972 Amazon is the new Uber. 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
973 I bet you still dress yourself as well, don't you? 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
974 It's my new ride share concept. The drones show up when you tap the app and you hook yourself in. I call it Over-Uber. 1.3114 0.04487 167 125 32 10
975 Yeah, Lyft...what, you were expecting Uber? 1.3114 0.04798 167 129 24 14
976 About 12 minutes on a full charge! 1.3113 0.04525 151 111 33 7
977 The outfit? It's by Da Vinci. 1.3111 0.04477 180 137 30 13
978 I am answered an ad for an Amazon delivery position. 1.3110 0.04109 164 118 41 5
979 I'll get additional lift if you pull my finger! 1.3110 0.04860 164 127 23 14
980 Jones McDrones, platformless window washer, at your service. 1.3110 0.04287 164 120 37 7
981 For a small fee they can also deliver me to any address. 1.3107 0.04385 177 133 33 11
982 Nice, I love the vintage look! 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
983 Once Elon was fired from Tesla, he was able to focus his attention on the belt and suspender business. 1.3106 0.04682 161 122 28 11
984 All good, really ......you just gotta be home before the batteries die.... 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
985 This way, nobody sits next to me on the subway 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
986 They don't merely deliver your underwear; they put them on for you, too! 1.3103 0.04436 174 131 32 11
987 You have to attach them to your pants, I spent 3 hours up in the air in my underwear to figure that out. 1.3102 0.04356 187 142 32 13
988 Love the low-tech suspenders, Hank. Very quaint. 1.3102 0.03941 187 136 44 7
989 Hi, I'm with Customer Service. How may I help you today? 1.3101 0.04657 158 119 29 10
990 Two for one on Amazon. 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
991 Forgive me for droning on. 1.3101 0.04910 158 122 23 13
992 They do chaufe on takeoff. 1.3099 0.04253 171 126 37 8
993 So I finally figured out how to get rid of plumber's crack 1.3099 0.04411 171 128 33 10
994 High tech suspenders - and The occasional haircut! 1.3098 0.04405 184 140 31 13
995 What? Is the belt overkill? 1.3097 0.04628 155 116 30 9
996 Wearing your grandpa's suspenders. Embarrassing. 1.3097 0.04348 155 113 36 6
997 I prefer high fashion. 1.3097 0.04444 155 114 34 7
998 Depending on the election, they're getting me over the wall to Canada. 1.3095 0.04773 168 130 24 14
999 These steer me so that I can walk and text all the time now. 1.3091 0.04679 165 126 27 12
1000 They were spying on my private life, so I decided to put them to good use. 1.3091 0.04435 165 123 33 9
1001 Sure, there are safer ways to get a vasectomy. But none as exhilarating. 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
1002 Actually, I put my pants on one leg at a time like everybody else. 1.3091 0.04757 165 127 25 13
1003 These two take care of the belt. One more and I can be sure about the zipper. 1.3089 0.04416 191 147 29 15
1004 Suspen-drones.” I’m currently working on the “Brassier-drone”. It lifts and separates. 1.3087 0.04939 149 114 24 11
1005 You get used to it. 1.3086 0.04403 162 120 34 8
1006 Welcome to Amazon. 1.3086 0.04819 162 125 24 13
1007 And at 2 am,they take me home. 1.3086 0.04489 162 121 32 9
1008 Yes I have lost weight; thanks for noticing! 1.3086 0.04403 162 120 34 8
1009 Heading uptown? 1.3086 0.04225 162 118 38 6
1010 They lift and separate. Cross my heart. 1.3086 0.04339 175 131 34 10
1011 I hate strap marks. 1.3085 0.04203 188 141 36 11
1012 Uber at your service. I’ll be taking you over the traffic. 1.3085 0.03891 201 148 44 9
1013 And I can only assume your underwear doesn't have WiFi. 1.3082 0.04817 146 110 27 9
1014 After I got the order from Amazon I thought I'd keep them. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
1015 And besides, who even has bootstraps these days? 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1016 I've been looking all over for a pair of retro suspenders like those! 1.3082 0.05043 159 125 19 15
1017 Yeah? Do you think that stopped Wilbur and Orville? 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1018 First Uber, then Lyft, now this. 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1019 It's a great job, pal; Amazon Test Pilot! 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1020 Sure it can be a little snug, but at least I don't look like an idiot. 1.3081 0.04616 172 132 27 13
1021 It’s Lyft 2.0 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1022 It’s uplifting! 1.3081 0.04182 198 150 35 13
1023 Hey, are those suspenders of disbelief? 1.3077 0.04748 169 131 24 14
1024 Lyft has found a better way to compete with Uber. 1.3077 0.04409 195 151 28 16
1025 Bill,I think there's an easier way to treat a double hernia. 1.3077 0.04569 182 141 26 15
1026 They hold up my pants, count my steps, and taze me if I'm about to offend anyone. 1.3077 0.04779 156 119 26 11
1027 My wife holds the controllers. 1.3077 0.04692 156 118 28 10
1028 Yup, great except for the wedgies. 1.3077 0.04673 169 130 26 13
1029 It's called Amazon Trousers." 1.3073 0.04343 179 135 33 11
1030 A belt and suspenders just didn't feel safe enough. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1031 I'm starting with suspenders, but my goal is utilizing the technology for a cutting edge bra. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1032 This thing just lifts me out of any objectionable conversations to a safe space 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
1033 Hi! I'm your Amazon Prime sales rep. 1.3072 0.05018 153 119 21 13
1034 My You Tube channel is exploding but taking a leak is getting problematic. 1.3071 0.05354 140 110 17 13
1035 Skipping the elevators is worth the wedgie 1.3069 0.04381 189 145 30 14
1036 Weird, yeah, but my pants stay up. 1.3068 0.04242 176 131 36 9
1037 Yeah, I guess suspenders would work too. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1038 These new low-rise jeans require more than just a belt and suspenders. 1.3067 0.04629 150 112 30 8
1039 And if I get lucky, I just throw ‘em in reverse. 1.3065 0.04495 186 144 27 15
1040 All yours can do is hold your pants up? 1.3064 0.04519 173 132 29 12
1041 It's the new entry level Tesla. 1.3064 0.04368 173 130 33 10
1042 That is soooo last season. 1.3062 0.04521 160 120 31 9
1043 I was skeptical, too, but this is where suspender technology is going... 1.3062 0.04521 160 120 31 9
1044 But they send me an alert on my phone if my pants fall down, what's more convenient than that? 1.3062 0.04856 160 124 23 13
1045 They are a great alternative to suspenders, one caveat, can't get within a 3 mile radius of airports" 1.3062 0.04856 160 124 23 13
1046 Let me have your phone so I can fly this thing. 1.3061 0.04590 147 109 31 7
1047 But enough of me droning on and on... 1.3059 0.04339 170 127 34 9
1048 Getting ready for the L train shut down. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1049 Remember the guy with the lawn chair and the helium balloons, well .... 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1050 It’s completely relieved my neck pain. Now if only I could get rid of this new buzzing sensation in my ears... 1.3057 0.04488 157 117 32 8
1051 Sorry, I didn't mean to drone on. 1.3057 0.04838 157 121 24 12
1052 Seriously, it’s faster than the F Train. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1053 I'm your NeoLyft pilot; give me your hand and I'll fly you to your destination. 1.3056 0.04176 180 134 37 9
1054 If I lose just 5 more pounds I can go airborne 1.3056 0.04250 180 135 35 10
1055 I prefer bi-dronal. 1.3054 0.04630 167 128 27 12
1056 There's also a mode for flying me out of akward situations! 1.3051 0.04371 177 134 32 11
1057 The only downside is the occasional wedgie 1.3051 0.04371 177 134 32 11
1058 It's like walking on air. 1.3051 0.04067 177 130 40 7
1059 Wait ‘til you see how I tie my shoes. 1.3051 0.04222 177 132 36 9
1060 Excuse me, are you willing to take a brief survey? 1.3051 0.04297 177 133 34 10
1061 I just said, "Alexa, drone on" and here I am. 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
1062 She said she'd take me back when pigs fly! 1.3049 0.04845 164 128 22 14
1063 They also double as ceiling fans. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1064 Congratulations on achieving Amazon's Prime Platinum level, Mr. McShane! 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
1065 It's $2 a mile. Just grab my hand. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1066 I can leap tall buildings in a single bound! 1.3043 0.04909 161 126 21 14
1067 As a matter of fact, I AM wearing a cup. Why do you ask? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1068 But can your suspenders also do surveillance? 1.3043 0.04113 184 137 38 9
1069 They save on belts but do eat up batteries. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1070 Forget it looks silly, nobody will ever try to mug you if they know somebody is watching," 1.3041 0.04396 171 129 32 10
1071 I rode here with Amazon's new rideshare technology. Alexa, release! 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
1072 I feel 20 pounds lighter and I didn’t have to change my diet. 1.3038 0.04640 158 120 28 10
1073 Yeah, but the fit is sublime. 1.3038 0.04640 158 120 28 10
1074 If the other guy is standing his ground, it's flight and not fight for me. 1.3038 0.04811 158 122 24 12
1075 My wife said I couldn't keep my pants on. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1076 You'll never guess where I keep the controllers. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1077 Musk and Bezos are both doing it. 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
1078 My pants aren't the only thing they help stay up. 1.3034 0.04125 178 132 38 8
1079 They don't keep my pants up, but they do keep people away. 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1080 It's a better view than the Holland Tunnel, and I got here in 15 minutes. 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1081 I can't fly, but they keep my pants up 1.3032 0.04701 155 118 27 10
1082 Yes — it's the new iSuspenders 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1083 Oh, no, I sold my car ages ago. Where can I drop you off? 1.3030 0.04249 165 122 36 7
1084 They have Wedgie Stablization Technology. 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1085 The wedgie factor has drastically reduced with the latest firmware update 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1086 It’s still cheaper than a metrocard 1.3029 0.04400 175 133 31 11
1087 Yeah..... helicopter parents are so twentieth century! 1.3029 0.04547 175 135 27 13
1088 I was tired of relying on bystanders to shoot the videos of police harassing me. 1.3027 0.04371 185 142 30 13
1089 And then, last week, in church, the batteries died. 1.3026 0.04671 152 115 28 9
1090 I admire your bold retro style. 1.3026 0.04382 152 112 34 6
1091 Why do you ask? 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
1092 At first Joe was interested in hearing about Jim's new high-tech suspenders, but then Jim kept droning on. 1.3025 0.04803 162 126 23 13
1093 Now I can take airborne pictures of me taking drone selfies. 1.3025 0.04723 162 125 25 12
1094 They pay for themselves with the free haircuts. 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
1095 Let's just say they keep everything up. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
1096 Just don't let your kids get a hold of the controls. 1.3025 0.04116 162 118 39 5
1097 Sorry, I don't mean to drone on and on. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
1098 Fidget spinners have come a long way. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
1099 But wait, there’s more! 1.3020 0.04538 149 111 31 7
1100 And before you know it, I'm looking in the windows of a 737. 1.3020 0.04733 149 113 27 9
1101 What I save on cabs, I spend on underwear. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1102 I can tell the suspense is killing you. 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
1103 I can drop you anywhere in town. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
1104 They hold my pants up, up, and away. 1.3018 0.04658 169 131 25 13
1105 It’s their latest service - Uber Wedgie. 1.3018 0.04426 169 128 31 10
1106 Keeps me cool AND holds my pants up. 1.3018 0.04426 169 128 31 10
1107 Yes they ARE holding up my pants 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
1108 It’s still in beta. 1.3012 0.04396 166 125 32 9
1109 I’m Geoff. What was it you ordered again? 1.3012 0.04313 166 124 34 8
1110 But enough of my droning, what's new with you? 1.3012 0.04717 166 129 24 13
1111 I'll be able to see Russia... 1.3012 0.04794 166 130 22 14
1112 By 2020 amazon hope to have eradicated plumber's crack. 1.3012 0.04313 166 124 34 8
1113 How do you like my quads? 1.3011 0.04524 176 136 27 13
1114 Hey man, suspenders went out with flip phones. 1.3011 0.04595 176 137 25 14
1115 So that's how I put them on both legs at a time! 1.3011 0.04378 176 134 31 11
1116 You criticizing me, Belt-and-Suspenders Man? 1.3011 0.04146 186 140 36 10
1117 It turns out this is cheaper than Uber. 1.3007 0.04763 143 108 27 8
1118 It’s Lift and Separate...for MEN! 1.3007 0.04645 153 116 28 9
1119 Did you forget it’s casual Fly-day? 1.3007 0.04645 153 116 28 9
1120 The downside is that if my pants do fall down, its all filmed in HD. 1.3006 0.04186 163 120 37 6
1121 Seriously, I don't know what I did before Amazon... 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1122 Yours are nice, but mine are fly. 1.3006 0.04275 173 130 34 9
1123 ...and it’s driverless. 1.3005 0.04109 193 146 36 11
1124 Do you want a lift? 1.3000 0.04758 160 124 24 12
1125 Not only do they keep my pants up but they keep me cool 1.3000 0.04558 170 131 27 12
1126 They're also great for sox and zippers. 1.3000 0.04323 170 128 33 9
1127 I'm getting beamed up as soon as my kid figures out which button to push on the remote 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
1128 The wedgies aren't ideal, but the NSA pays me a comfortable amount. 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
1129 I'm just out walking my drones. 1.3000 0.04403 170 129 31 10
1130 They keep my neighbor’s drone from catching me with my pants down. 1.2994 0.04357 177 135 31 11
1131 Dude, suspenders are so yesterday. 1.2994 0.04207 177 133 35 9
1132 I'm a vertical guy in a horizontal city. 1.2994 0.04119 167 123 38 6
1133 Take my hand, I’ll show you the world. 1.2994 0.04536 167 128 28 11
1134 The drones aren't that impressive, it's how I'm controlling them. 1.2994 0.04206 167 124 36 7
1135 Yeah, it's a problem in the bathroom. 1.2994 0.04455 167 127 30 10
1136 ...And, when I step on the scales, I weigh nothing! 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
1137 And I've a smaller one that opens zippers. 1.2989 0.04578 184 145 23 16
1138 Real men don't wear suspenders, Dude. 1.2989 0.04379 184 142 29 13
1139 They're called Dronegarees, it's the latest fad. 1.2988 0.04509 164 125 29 10
1140 I progressed from a fidget spinner 1.2988 0.04509 164 125 29 10
1141 I gave up suspenders - they caused people to stare at me. 1.2988 0.04592 164 126 27 11
1142 Now I can look at my phone while crossing the street, only THIS time I’ll be able to see the car that hits me. 1.2987 0.04710 154 118 26 10
1143 I got the suspenders from Amazon WITH the extended support plan.., 1.2987 0.04799 154 119 24 11
1144 Just because I have the money to do it. 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1145 Apparently, my wife still hasn't got over the fact that I cheated on her. 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1146 I don't mean to be droning on and on. 1.2982 0.04684 171 134 23 14
1147 So then I thought to myself, "Sometimes you just need to take a chance". 1.2982 0.04302 171 129 33 9
1148 Listen, you have to take chances in fashion. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1149 I suspendered my disbelief a long time ago. 1.2981 0.04392 161 121 32 8
1150 And then she threatened to turn on the ceiling fan. 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1151 Not Uber, this is Hover 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1152 Suspenders are so last season... 1.2981 0.04023 161 117 40 4
1153 No more lower back pain! 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1154 Mr. Musk thinks it has potential.... 1.2976 0.04432 168 128 30 10
1155 They pick up the slack. 1.2976 0.04351 168 127 32 9
1156 But you said I should drop by anytime. 1.2976 0.04667 168 131 24 13
1157 I'll be in touch later. Have to take a look in my apartment. I think my wife is having an affair. 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1158 They're from Skymall 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1159 I'm waiting for Lyft. 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
1160 Only this perpetual wedgie will keep me distracted from the news. 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
1161 The system still has a few flaws: Last week I was delivered to a prison exercise yard. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
1162 Look,this is cheaper than airplane tickets,and I have WAY more leg room. 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1163 Well, yeah, it does make riding the subway a challenge. 1.2973 0.04221 185 141 33 11
1164 Loving the retro look bro. 1.2973 0.04337 148 109 34 5
1165 I saved a bundle by not getting the camera. 1.2971 0.04233 175 132 34 9
1166 They're great for keeping your pants up… not so great for unzipping your fly. 1.2971 0.04233 175 132 34 9
1167 If you're impressed now, wait to you see them at work in the men's room. 1.2971 0.04532 175 136 26 13
1168 Did you see the guy with the Amazon T-shirt holding the control stick? 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
1169 I find it better than being an office drone. 1.2970 0.04143 165 122 37 6
1170 It’s worth the wedgies 1.2968 0.04310 155 115 34 6
1171 My kids PROMISED they’d walk them. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1172 Dro-penders, bro. Dro-penders. 1.2968 0.04310 155 115 34 6
1173 You're lucky your wife trusts you. 1.2966 0.05002 145 113 21 11
1174 Once I get home, I can see how my day went. Then I can edit it, maybe add music, and post it, of course. 1.2965 0.04359 172 131 31 10
1175 Were you suspended by Amazon,too? 1.2965 0.04200 172 129 35 8
1176 Mostly, I activate them when the dating service meetup is not going well. 1.2963 0.04624 162 125 26 11
1177 This is why we need more women in STEM. 1.2963 0.05098 162 131 14 17
1178 Your tall brunette named Ryan has arrived from Amazon 1.2963 0.04787 162 127 22 13
1179 100 bucks I can fly by the seat of my pants... 1.2963 0.04280 162 121 34 7
1180 Suspenders 2.0 1.2961 0.03853 179 131 43 5
1181 I can deliver you 1.2961 0.04241 179 136 33 10
1182 It's noisy, but it beats taking the D train. 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1183 Excuse me for droning on and on. 1.2958 0.05173 142 112 18 12
1184 They’re great but whenever I walk down stairs I get a wedgie. 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1185 But at least it’s an iWedgie. 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
1186 Can you believe it still takes me 30 minutes to go through TSA? 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
1187 That's not the only thing they keep up 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
1188 Not only this, but I got a rocket in my pocket, too. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
1189 You did order through Amazon Prime? 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1190 Do these drones make my butt look big? 1.2955 0.04437 176 136 28 12
1191 Forgive me, I must drone on. 1.2955 0.04212 176 133 34 9
1192 Welcome to Lyft Lite! 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
1193 It's my take on the guy with the lawn chairs and balloons! 1.2955 0.04288 176 134 32 10
1194 It keeps mosquitos away. 1.2953 0.04617 149 113 28 8
1195 And my wife said I wouldn’t find a use. 1.2953 0.04617 149 113 28 8
1196 Elon Musk says it's gonna disrupt the belts industry 1.2952 0.04210 166 124 35 7
1197 I'd give you one but they're joined at my hip. 1.2952 0.04778 166 131 21 14
1198 The horror of the 1997 Nuclear Wedgie came screaming back into Franklin's mind. 1.2951 0.04454 183 143 26 14
1199 Uber Walks sent me. Where do you want to go today? 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
1200 Did you call an Uber? 1.2949 0.04745 156 121 24 11
1201 New pants from Amazon. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1202 So far, there hasn’t been any collateral damage. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1203 But I’m really hoping to pitch this to Victoria’s Secret. I mean, talk about a Wonder Bra. 1.2948 0.04337 173 132 31 10
1204 As good as suspenders -- until the batteries die. 1.2948 0.04179 173 130 35 8
1205 They came with free shipping. 1.2948 0.03844 173 126 43 4
1206 It's safer than a driverless car. 1.2947 0.04070 190 144 36 10
1207 Sure, but what's holding up your ego? 1.2945 0.05066 146 115 19 12
1208 They are the new Air Jordans. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1209 I got these suspenders on Amazon. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1210 I'm disrupting the walking industry. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1211 Your hover driver is here 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1212 You ordered a husband on Amazon? 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1213 Come on live a little, grab my hand. 1.2944 0.04146 180 136 35 9
1214 They're both controlled by a single joystick. 1.2944 0.04365 180 139 29 12
1215 I don't mean to drone on.... 1.2941 0.04543 170 132 26 12
1216 They allow my pants to operate 100% hands free, when in autonomous mode. 1.2941 0.04796 136 103 26 7
1217 Inexplicably, she wants me to take up golf again" 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1218 My startup is disrupting the suspender industry. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1219 The only problem is the batteries run out without warning. 1.2938 0.04415 177 137 28 12
1220 First it was a piece of rawhide around the waist, then the belt was invented, then suspenders, and now, this crowning achievement. 1.2938 0.04114 177 133 36 8
1221 There are suspenders, and then there are suspenders. 1.2937 0.04397 160 121 31 8
1222 Yeah, you miss a payment, and Amazon repos your pants. 1.2937 0.04741 160 125 23 12
1223 This way I know I'm covered until the Me Too movement dies down. 1.2937 0.04824 160 126 21 13
1224 Puts the ‘suspend’ in suspenders, don’t you think? 1.2937 0.04307 160 120 33 7
1225 I just got sick and tired of paying for parking. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1226 Excuse me, sir. Do these pants make me look crazy? 1.2934 0.04599 167 130 25 12
1227 They hold up my pants well, but their photos don’t do me justice. 1.2934 0.04357 167 127 31 9
1228 I decided to embrace technology instead of fighting it. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1229 I find that if I do not keep them on leash, they chase other drones! 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1230 I put my pants like everybody else, one drone at a time 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1231 My wife said get rid of the plumber's crack or she'd get rid of me. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1232 They'll pick up most anything...other than chicks. 1.2933 0.04874 150 117 22 11
1233 They ride a little to the left, but I'm into that. 1.2931 0.04158 174 131 35 8
1234 I'm not bragging, but I needed two because of the size of my package. 1.2931 0.04391 174 134 29 11
1235 Strap these on and say goodbye to unsightly plumber butt and chronic wedgies. 1.2931 0.04315 174 133 31 10
1236 Cuts my commute in half. 1.2931 0.04237 174 132 33 9
1237 I call 'em Orville and Wilbur 1.2930 0.04631 157 121 26 10
1238 It's house arrest, but they let me walk around the block. 1.2930 0.04167 157 116 36 5
1239 I call them overspenders. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1240 They hold up my pants and the noise drowns out the flatulence. 1.2929 0.05119 140 110 19 11
1241 This only happens during mating season 1.2928 0.04127 181 137 35 9
1242 Just search 'hands-free infinity suspenders' in the app store. 1.2927 0.04575 164 127 26 11
1243 I take “suspenders” literally. 1.2927 0.04575 164 127 26 11
1244 Yes your system is better at the urinal 1.2927 0.04575 164 127 26 11
1245 Did you order the Uber Express? 1.2927 0.04492 164 126 28 10
1246 Suspenders hold my pants up, but they make me look old. 1.2926 0.04023 188 142 37 9
1247 I'm saving thousands in tolls every year. 1.2925 0.04340 147 109 33 5
1248 Mary Poppins' got nothin' on me. 1.2924 0.04365 171 131 30 10
1249 You know, you could just wear pants that fit... 1.2924 0.04365 171 131 30 10
1250 It gets great videos and keeps my pants up. 1.2922 0.04781 154 120 23 11
1251 And they have patented 'anti-wedgy' technology. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1252 I like to dress conservatively but with a hint of trendiness. 1.2921 0.03771 178 130 44 4
1253 Uber just stepped up their game. 1.2921 0.04171 178 135 34 9
1254 I’m like everyone else, I put my pants on one drone at a time. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1255 These days you have to learn to put your pants on...one drone at a time ! 1.2919 0.04548 161 124 27 10
1256 One leg at a time, just like you. 1.2919 0.04548 161 124 27 10
1257 This is the newest feature of Amazon, you deliver yourself, for a small fee! 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1258 Mind holding these while I go to the john? 1.2919 0.04065 185 140 36 9
1259 Still less ridiculous than Uggs for men. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
1260 Disruptors don't walk, bro. 1.2917 0.04334 168 128 31 9
1261 Yeah! And people also laughed at Dick Tracy and his stupid watch! 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
1262 It's legit-- Uber Piggy-back. Trust me. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1263 Five bucks gets you across Broadway without getting hit by a bus! 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1264 I registered for prime and now it only takes me two business days to get home. 1.2914 0.04517 175 137 25 13
1265 I thought it was a great idea, too...until I was giving a speech at work and the batteries died! 1.2914 0.04370 175 135 29 11
1266 I don't know how I existed without smart suspenders. 1.2914 0.04217 175 133 33 9
1267 They're taking me for a walk. 1.2914 0.04517 175 137 25 13
1268 Nah, my dogs are just lazy and would rather watch our walks. 1.2914 0.04845 151 118 22 11
1269 Want a lift? 1.2911 0.04861 158 125 20 13
1270 ...and, I'm saving a fortune on belts. 1.2911 0.04427 158 120 30 8
1271 They hold my pants up, create a nice breeze, and cost way more than your low tech suspenders. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
1272 Greetings, citizen, I’m the Drone Ranger.... 1.2909 0.04551 165 128 26 11
1273 You may be fashion-forward. This is fashion-upward! 1.2909 0.04213 165 124 34 7
1274 Skymall. 1.2909 0.04631 165 129 24 12
1275 Ya gotta hand it to Lyft – they’re way ahead of the competition. 1.2909 0.04710 165 130 22 13
1276 And each one has a camera to tell me if my shoelaces are tied. 1.2908 0.04671 141 107 27 7
1277 "Watch this. Beam me up Scotties." 1.2907 0.04264 172 131 32 9
1278 I save a bundle on belts and I can skip the escalators at the mall. 1.2907 0.04183 172 130 34 8
1279 Indoors can be a problem. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1280 You said you wanted a product that would suspend belief! 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1281 Suspenders, but with a constant feed to all my social media! 1.2905 0.04226 179 137 32 10
1282 If you can think of a more practical way to keep my pants up, I’d like to hear it. 1.2905 0.04299 179 138 30 11
1283 I'm logging 50,000 steps a day on my fitness tracker with no effort! 1.2903 0.04574 155 119 27 9
1284 Even if you don't fly it will give you a nice buzz 1.2903 0.04574 155 119 27 9
1285 Man.. Those suspenders are so last century! 1.2903 0.04191 155 115 35 5
1286 Why, to hold my pants up, of course.... 1.2901 0.04690 162 127 23 12
1287 I put 4 million into their Kickstarter campaign, but I got to keep the prototype! 1.2901 0.04771 162 128 21 13
1288 Not only does it help keep my pants up but it also provides some personal space in crowded areas. 1.2901 0.04170 162 121 35 6
1289 I should have Googled, 'Keep Pants Up No Batteries'. Where'd you get those?" 1.2899 0.04393 169 130 29 10
1290 dronewalking is a sideline; i'm really an actor 1.2899 0.04627 169 133 23 13
1291 I know I tend to drone on a bit. 1.2899 0.04551 169 132 25 12
1292 I like to keep an eye on myself. 1.2899 0.04623 138 104 28 6
1293 So I asked myself, ‘self, do you want spend one more second on F train?’ 1.2899 0.04736 138 105 26 7
1294 My pants fit fine. These are to hold up my underwear. 1.2898 0.04038 176 132 37 7
1295 Taking my pet Drones for a walk.. 1.2897 0.04885 145 113 22 10
1296 No offense, but my thinking was..."anything but suspenders". 1.2896 0.04232 183 141 31 11
1297 I added a bow tie,.. but then I almost died. 1.2895 0.04995 152 121 18 13
1298 Yes, like my wife says, I am definitely a helicopter parent 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1299 The occasional atomic wedgie is a small price to pay for the added security against pickpockets. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
1300 Those suspenders are sooooo 2005! 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1301 Sure it’s a prototype, but the casualty rates have been very low. 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1302 I know, I could’ve just settled on a belt...but this is 2018! 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1303 I just try to stay away from schools when the batteries get low. 1.2893 0.04492 159 122 28 9
1304 My first one seemed lonely. 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1305 This way I can avoid the subway. 1.2892 0.04445 166 128 28 10
1306 They are great! Do you have a charger I could borrow? 1.2892 0.04445 166 128 28 10
1307 Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how hip my pants are. 1.2892 0.04527 166 129 26 11
1308 And the updraft keeps my hair in place. 1.2890 0.04398 173 134 28 11
1309 This would work like a charm if it wasn't for the pigeons. 1.2890 0.04162 173 131 34 8
1310 The hardest part was figuring out what my upseam was. 1.2890 0.04242 173 132 32 9
1311 It keeps the pants up and you feel 20 pounds lighter on your feet. 1.2890 0.03997 173 129 38 6
1312 I’m sorry, am I droning on again? 1.2890 0.04548 173 136 24 13
1313 I call them suspendered animation! 1.2890 0.04474 173 135 26 12
1314 They're the newest thing in hands-free, but I have to be near a charger when the batteries die or else. 1.2888 0.04303 187 146 28 13
1315 But you can't literally 'suspend' from yours, can you? 1.2887 0.04749 142 109 25 8
1316 I just think suspenders are too much of a statement.” 1.2887 0.04129 194 150 32 12
1317 I put tape over the camera for privacy 1.2886 0.04790 149 116 23 10
1318 Keeps your pants up and gives off a nice breeze at the same time. 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
1319 They’re called suspenders? What a great idea. 1.2886 0.04790 149 116 23 10
1320 With the pull of these puppies there's no chance that I'll moon anyone. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
1321 Sure, it seems like the perfect solution until you figure in the cost of batteries! 1.2885 0.04456 156 119 29 8
1322 They're called Suspendrones. 1.2885 0.04456 156 119 29 8
1323 Who needs Uber? 1.2885 0.04363 156 118 31 7
1324 You’re not supposed to wear a belt with suspenders. 1.2883 0.04664 163 128 23 12
1325 Give you a lift 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1326 Let's take this one to Shark Tank. 1.2883 0.04499 163 126 27 10
1327 So far their artificial intelligence has only learned to keep my pants up 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1328 THERE'S NO DOWN SIDE. 1.2883 0.04582 163 127 25 11
1329 You think this is great, I have one that can be connected to my fly. 1.2883 0.04414 163 125 29 9
1330 seriously...it's like I'm not even wearing pants! 1.2882 0.04208 170 129 33 8
1331 I spent too much time at The Sharper Image. 1.2882 0.04370 170 131 29 10
1332 Yes,it's cool,but I feel bad about the two guys I fired. 1.2881 0.04251 177 136 31 10
1333 Yeah, but can YOUR suspenders deliver PIZZA? 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1334 To keep my pants up, of course. 1.2881 0.04326 177 137 29 11
1335 Technically they're still suspenders 1.2881 0.03855 177 131 41 5
1336 I'm just trying to create a little buzz around here! 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1337 They’ve really taken the weight off my shoulders. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1338 I should probably figure out who's driving these things. 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
1339 I'm taking man-spreading to whole new levels. 1.2876 0.04789 153 120 22 11
1340 Avoiding the subway is worth the oppressive wedgies. 1.2876 0.04317 153 115 32 6
1341 Their purpose? Hold my pants up - what else! 1.2875 0.04640 160 125 24 11
1342 In this #MeToo era, you can't be too careful. 1.2874 0.04256 167 127 32 8
1343 Which way to the Met Gala? 1.2874 0.04422 167 129 28 10
1344 My belt broke. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
1345 There are some perks working for Amazon. 1.2874 0.04299 174 134 30 10
1346 Yes, I am absolutely terrified. 1.2872 0.04216 188 146 30 12
1347 They keep my pants up; fifteen minutes at a time. 1.2867 0.04824 143 111 23 9
1348 Hey, I see you’re into suspenders too! 1.2867 0.04396 143 107 31 5
1349 I still put them on one leg at a time. How they stay up is my business. 1.2867 0.04824 143 111 23 9
1350 The wedgie is worth the convenience. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1351 I'm a drone parent. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1352 I got them on Amazon. They're called The Suspenders of Damocles. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1353 Suspenders?! And you wonder why you cannot get a date? 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1354 It drowns out my tinnitus 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1355 ...but listen to me droning on - how have you been? 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
1356 These drones are guards, my slacks a prison, and my dick, a convicted felon. 1.2866 0.04798 164 131 19 14
1357 It's all about the support. 1.2866 0.04558 164 128 25 11
1358 I'm thinking of calling them "suspendrones." What do you think? 1.2866 0.04558 164 128 25 11
1359 If you're clumsy you can get a free hair cut out of them, too. 1.2865 0.04426 171 133 27 11
1360 Sure, a belt is more practical. You don't have to drone on and on about it. 1.2865 0.04187 171 130 33 8
1361 Do you have a flip phone to go with that outfit? 1.2865 0.04426 171 133 27 11
1362 This way I can focus full time on my social media without missing anything in real life. 1.2865 0.04305 178 138 29 11
1363 They provide my pants with support and me with companionship. 1.2864 0.03988 199 153 35 11
1364 Belts will be obsolete 1.2857 0.04479 168 131 26 11
1365 I’m taking my drones out for a walk. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1366 Just like everyone else, I put my pants on one leg at a time. 1.2857 0.04149 168 127 34 7
1367 Think of them as 'the bitcoin of suspenders.' 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1368 I thought it meant they would deliver the belt by drone 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
1369 Forgot my belt? No, I lost my remotes. 1.2857 0.04317 168 129 30 9
1370 You didn’t know that Popular Mechanics bought GQ? 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1371 A wedgie is a small price to pay for fashion. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1372 Suspenders make me look old 1.2857 0.04762 154 121 22 11
1373 We ran out of Segways. 1.2857 0.04165 182 140 32 10
1374 Yeah but I tried everything else to get it up 1.2857 0.04277 175 135 30 10
1375 Got a minute to learn about bitcoin? 1.2857 0.04234 168 128 32 8
1376 Where do you want to be dropped? 1.2857 0.04635 168 133 22 13
1377 It's far more than a massage, friend. 1.2857 0.04399 168 130 28 10
1378 I bet you are still pulling them down yourself too 1.2857 0.04922 147 116 20 11
1379 That's why we think the belt market is ripe for disruption! 1.2857 0.04580 154 119 26 9
1380 So what did you think I meant when I said the NSA's been suspending my right to privacy 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1381 Stop me if I start droning on. 1.2857 0.04428 175 137 26 12
1382 We'll see who's the idiot when you have to pee. 1.2857 0.04780 161 128 20 13
1383 Other than battery life issues, they never let me down. 1.2857 0.04399 168 130 28 10
1384 I was skeptical too, but look at the difference in our postures! 1.2857 0.03983 161 119 38 4
1385 Keeping my pants up is a breeze 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1386 'My shrink told me l need to see things from a different perspective` 1.2849 0.04630 172 137 21 14
1387 It makes airport security slightly more complicated I suppose 1.2849 0.03643 172 125 45 2
1388 They work great on stairs and I can skip the elevator altogether. 1.2849 0.04083 172 130 35 7
1389 The drones are free once you buy a suspension data plan. 1.2848 0.04367 165 127 29 9
1390 They’re Gucci 1.2848 0.04367 165 127 29 9
1391 I'm beta testing new suspenders for James Bond. 1.2848 0.04367 165 127 29 9
1392 By all means, drone on.... 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
1393 I still feel like something’s been holding me up. 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1394 $199 to LA - No frills Coach 1.2848 0.04498 158 122 27 9
1395 Honestly, the only it's uncomfortable is in the men's room." 1.2848 0.04587 158 123 25 10
1396 I'm thinking of selling my parking space. 1.2848 0.04917 151 120 19 12
1397 I’m sorry if I drone on. 1.2848 0.04734 151 118 23 10
1398 Are you Kevin? Hi, I’m your Uber driver today. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1399 I'm telling you, this time I really think I found the idea that's going to take off 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1400 No need for a belt, but the wedgies are awful. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1401 Want a new high? 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
1402 I'm an Amazon Test Dummy. 1.2842 0.04041 190 146 34 10
1403 The permits weren’t the cheapest, but you just can’t put a price on this level of back support. 1.2842 0.04072 183 140 34 9
1404 No, I haven't worn them on a date, yet. Why do you ask? 1.2842 0.03998 183 139 36 8
1405 Not only do they hold my pants up, they record every move I make. 1.2841 0.03939 176 132 38 6
1406 I've gotten some really great selfies. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
1407 Well, it sure beats taking the subway to work! 1.2840 0.04534 169 133 24 12
1408 Yea, so then I said, "After college, I'll GoPro". And here I am. 1.2840 0.04295 169 130 30 9
1409 Oh what, these old things? 1.2840 0.04332 162 124 30 8
1410 ah, but listen to me just droning on! What's new with you? 1.2840 0.04242 162 123 32 7
1411 You're missing the point, it's not about practicality, it's about innovation, STEVEN! 1.2840 0.04332 162 124 30 8
1412 But can yours give you a wedgie? 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
1413 It’s amazing! They know when I have to go to the bathroom before I do. 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
1414 Everyone at Fox was issued them............ 1.2840 0.04754 162 129 20 13
1415 Filthy subways, no parking, crowded streets...what do you mean 'why? 1.2839 0.04461 155 119 28 8
1416 It’s the prototype from my start-up company UberLyft 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1417 They hold up my pants AND definitively resolve the haunting fear that I'm being watched! 1.2834 0.03939 187 142 37 8
1418 This way I can keep me under constant surveillance 1.2833 0.03882 180 135 39 6
1419 Don’t get me wrong. You look great in suspenders but I need something more cutting edge. 1.2832 0.03979 173 130 37 6
1420 Yea,a cup is really necessary. 1.2831 0.04173 166 126 33 7
1421 They usually leave once they get your lunch money. 1.2831 0.04589 166 131 23 12
1422 I guarantee there's no discomfort in that area. 1.2831 0.04084 166 125 35 6
1423 Those suspenders tell the world you don't care how you look. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
1424 Suspenders just hold up your pants- these hold up my ego! 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
1425 Statistically it's safer than a helicopter. 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
1426 What, you’ve never seen Drone Drawers before. 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
1427 We had to transition to belts after our zipper incident. 1.2830 0.04732 159 126 21 12
1428 It's a modern-day chastity belt. 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
1429 Do you want to carpool to work today? 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
1430 This takes a HUGE load off my shoulders! 1.2829 0.04113 152 113 35 4
1431 This new prototype is nearly wedgie-free. 1.2829 0.04218 152 114 33 5
1432 Pendulous testicles. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1433 Acquiring two FAA licenses to keep your pants up might seem extreme, but it’s just a cost of doing business in the plumbing trade these days. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1434 You obviously have no idea belt production has on our carbon footprint. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1435 If we both do it, it'll be cool. 1.2827 0.03739 191 143 42 6
1436 Everyone kept accusing me of droning on, so I thought I would. 1.2825 0.04235 177 137 30 10
1437 It's a "sans-a-belt" for geeks. 1.2825 0.04081 177 135 34 8
1438 That's right, Brookstone makes suspenders now. 1.2824 0.04273 170 131 30 9
1439 Care to try a Sky Wedgie? 1.2824 0.04433 170 133 26 11
1440 Hello. I am Andrew. Brother of Alexa. Please save me. 1.2824 0.04353 170 132 28 10
1441 Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is so 20th century 1.2822 0.04309 163 125 30 8
1442 Sorry to drone on and on, but... 1.2822 0.04481 163 127 26 10
1443 Pants up, nice breeze, and cutting-edge​ fashion. What's not to like? 1.2822 0.04220 163 124 32 7
1444 Trendy? Yes. Comfortable? Not so much. 1.2822 0.04220 163 124 32 7
1445 Those buckles look complicated. 1.2822 0.04481 163 127 26 10
1446 Reduces hip fractures, and prevents drowning in case of floods. 1.2821 0.04342 156 119 30 7
1447 They see any danger around me AND they keep my pants up! 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1448 I know my batteries are low when my navel feels a breeze. 1.2821 0.04529 156 121 26 9
1449 The first step is suspending your disbelief Harold. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1450 I call it the selfie paparazzi. 1.2821 0.04436 156 120 28 8
1451 Ride share is no longer necessary my friend 1.2819 0.04475 149 114 28 7
1452 Ironically, the real suspense is during the brief recharging period. 1.2819 0.04575 149 115 26 8
1453 Sure, people stare. But that’s the price of fashion. 1.2819 0.04268 149 112 32 5
1454 My service drones have really taken a weight off my shoulders 1.2819 0.04268 149 112 32 5
1455 My mom was worried, so I told her I'm on a motorcycle. 1.2819 0.04769 149 117 22 10
1456 The helicopters were getting too expensive, so Channel 4 came up with a new way to do live traffic reports. 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
1457 I'm telling you, there's a fortune to be made disrupting the suspender industry. 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1458 You just have to make sure you don't accidentally turn up the power and give yourself a wedgie. 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
1459 What do you mean the government is always spying on us? 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1460 No, YOUR suspenders are too loud. 1.2816 0.04435 174 137 25 12
1461 Don’t worry, I used to put my pants on one leg at a time, too. 1.2816 0.04124 174 133 33 8
1462 My wife's the jealous type. 1.2816 0.03960 174 131 37 6
1463 Yeah, it does give quite the wedgie. 1.2816 0.03759 206 157 40 9
1464 The legroom is fantastic and there's no airline to give away your seat 1.2814 0.04485 167 131 25 11
1465 You should buy now, before any public demand for regulation. 1.2814 0.04404 167 130 27 10
1466 They have incredible rear suspension. 1.2814 0.04404 167 130 27 10
1467 I think you will find it very uplifting. 1.2814 0.04565 167 132 23 12
1468 Sorry, I'm droning on. What was your question again? 1.2814 0.04404 167 130 27 10
1469 Don't let me drone on too long. 1.2814 0.04720 167 134 19 14
1470 And if I'm losing the argument, a simple hand gesture allows me a quick exit. 1.2812 0.03866 192 146 38 8
1471 Yeah, they’re OK, but if you’re not careful with the lift setting you get a wedgy. 1.2812 0.04449 160 124 27 9
1472 These are are the best protection system ever! Since I started using them, nobody comes anywhere near me. 1.2812 0.04622 160 126 23 11
1473 Now who's nerdier. Huh? 1.2810 0.04770 153 121 21 11
1474 Need a lift? 1.2810 0.04296 153 116 31 6
1475 What? I couldn't hear you. 1.2809 0.03982 178 135 36 7
1476 The charge lasts up to 8 hours, so you're not obligated to keep your pants on all day. 1.2808 0.04102 203 160 29 14
1477 I just have to make sure the batteries don't die near a school. 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1478 I could drone on forever about these suspenders! 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
1479 This takes voyeurism to a whole new height. 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
1480 They hold my pants up to 2,500 feet. 1.2805 0.04622 164 130 22 12
1481 It's the airline's frequent flyer award. 1.2805 0.04457 164 128 26 10
1482 They also offer a mini for unzipping at urinals. 1.2803 0.04681 157 124 22 11
1483 My father told me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, but that sounded like a lot of work, so I automated it 1.2803 0.04681 157 124 22 11
1484 The pants are fly, man. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
1485 People used to say I was a downer 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
1486 Remember that brilliant idea I mentioned?... 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
1487 They fly down too. 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
1488 Drone walking. Big Bucks, I'll tell ya! 1.2800 0.04337 175 137 27 11
1489 You should try it. Makes picking up girls a breeze. 1.2800 0.04835 150 119 20 11
1490 I use to have a seeing eye dog. 1.2800 0.03798 150 109 40 1
1491 They can also see if my fly is undone. 1.2800 0.04183 175 135 31 9
1492 My start up hasn't got off the ground yet. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1493 Yeah, with new advancements in technology you can keep your pants up without a belt! 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1494 I got a deal on Amazon! 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1495 Oh man, can you lighten up? 1.2796 0.03791 186 140 40 6
1496 It keeps my pants up AND keeps me cool. 1.2795 0.04245 161 123 31 7
1497 I no longer have much privacy but I find myself much lighter on my feet. 1.2795 0.04058 161 121 35 5
1498 Look, both the belt and the suspenders seem a little redundant for my tastes. 1.2795 0.04511 161 126 25 10
1499 They're a little noisy,but they do keep my pants up. 1.2793 0.04118 179 138 32 9
1500 I'm your ride to the observation deck at the Empire State building. 1.2792 0.04560 154 120 25 9
1501 And, the white noise relaxes me! 1.2792 0.04272 154 117 31 6
1502 I enjoy the sensation. Plus the flying part is nice too 1.2792 0.04652 154 121 23 10
1503 Liar, liar, pants on... fliers? 1.2791 0.04148 172 132 32 8
1504 If you make them mad, they give you a wedgie. 1.2791 0.04309 172 134 28 10
1505 Way less nerdy than Google Glass. 1.2791 0.04464 172 136 24 12
1506 I'm a big 'spender. 1.2789 0.04505 147 113 27 7
1507 I'm exercising my privilege of absurdity. 1.2788 0.04597 165 131 22 12
1508 Hey, they're easier than dogs. 1.2787 0.03827 183 138 39 6
1509 They work...but my voice is squeaky. 1.2785 0.04567 158 124 24 10
1510 Beats taking the bus. 1.2785 0.04478 158 123 26 9
1511 I put them on the same way, one leg at a time. 1.2785 0.04655 158 125 22 11
1512 How long is this guy going to drone on?! 1.2785 0.04567 158 124 24 10
1513 You should see what happens when I add a third! 1.2785 0.04567 158 124 24 10
1514 To heck with the 'belt or suspenders' dilemma. I'm a non-conformist. 1.2784 0.04003 176 134 35 7
1515 Yeah, they took a lot of weight off my shoulders! 1.2784 0.04240 176 137 29 10
1516 Look, I know I'm droning on but this is important! 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
1517 No -- actually they are taking ME for a walk. 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
1518 But I drone on. What is it you wanted to say? 1.2781 0.04277 169 131 29 9
1519 Ever since Elon Musk brought out his own clothing line I haven't really bothered with anything else. 1.2778 0.04346 144 109 30 5
1520 I like wedgies 1.2778 0.04487 162 127 25 10
1521 The trick is to get them to stop fighting. 1.2775 0.04127 173 133 32 8
1522 Amazon and Uber are teaming up to provide this great new rideshare service! 1.2775 0.04127 173 133 32 8
1523 I could drone on all day about these new suspenders. 1.2775 0.03875 173 130 38 5
1524 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drone on and on. 1.2774 0.04345 155 119 29 7
1525 Drone delivery tech support. How may I assist you today? 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
1526 My belt broke , hope the batteries last . 1.2774 0.04148 155 117 33 5
1527 Cheaper and faster than Uber or Lyft 1.2774 0.04345 155 119 29 7
1528 Need a lift? It's cheaper than Uber. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1529 Give me your hand and for five bucks I'll take you to 42nd Street. 1.2772 0.03887 184 140 37 7
1530 Holds my pants up and gets me around town. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1531 Believe me. Soon everyone will be wearing suspendrones. 1.2771 0.04326 166 129 28 9
1532 Would you like to see them land? 1.2771 0.04491 166 131 24 11
1533 These are drones in my pants AND I'm happy to see you! 1.2771 0.04409 166 130 26 10
1534 I hate elevators. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1535 They've taken some weight off my shoulders. 1.2768 0.04063 177 136 33 8
1536 I'm thinking of getting one more for my fly. 1.2767 0.04542 159 125 24 10
1537 You should see what my Roomba does. 1.2767 0.04542 159 125 24 10
1538 It's the ultimate in 'no frills' air travel! 1.2767 0.04080 159 120 34 5
1539 Every now and then I need a lift. 1.2765 0.03914 170 128 37 5
1540 I don't FEEL like a corporate drone 1.2765 0.04493 170 135 23 12
1541 Sorry to drone on. Name's Eugine. 1.2765 0.04415 170 134 25 11
1542 And I can actually see if my ass looks big in these on my device, too! 1.2765 0.04172 170 131 31 8
1543 You really need to get Amazon Prime. 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
1544 It's like Uber, only you are the driver. 1.2763 0.04195 152 115 32 5
1545 I am the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. 1.2762 0.04439 181 145 22 14
1546 These days, if you want to impress the ladies, you've got to walk on water. 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
1547 But when the batteries die, things can get dicey. 1.2761 0.03920 163 122 37 4
1548 Your money or your privacy 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
1549 They were BOGO 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
1550 Trust me. This doesn't look so ridiculous when it's made by Apple. 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
1551 Hey, Tom. Can I give you a lift? 1.2759 0.03941 174 132 36 6
1552 It's not first class, but it's cheap 1.2759 0.04536 145 112 26 7
1553 I'm working on the zipper drone next. 1.2759 0.04342 174 137 26 11
1554 Ehh, Uber is so 2016. 1.2759 0.03856 174 131 38 5
1555 Hey man, the L train is gonna be down for a while. 1.2759 0.04265 174 136 28 10
1556 To be honest, weggies have become a problem. 1.2759 0.04641 145 113 24 8
1557 These are way cooler than suspenders. 1.2756 0.04125 156 118 33 5
1558 Yeah, they're my suspenders of disbelief. 1.2756 0.04224 156 119 31 6
1559 The ride was smooth, but now I've got a deep crack wedgie. 1.2754 0.04386 167 131 26 10
1560 It's a high tech wedgie 1.2754 0.04468 167 132 24 11
1561 The difference is they also pull your pants up. 1.2754 0.03953 167 126 36 5
1562 I can just drone on and on. 1.2754 0.04548 167 133 22 12
1563 It would be more embarrassing if my pants fell down 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1564 Sure they cost more, but, dude, I’ve got better things to do with my shoulders! 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1565 I call them wunder pants. 1.2753 0.04121 178 138 31 9
1566 If you like these suspenders, you should see my fly! 1.2752 0.04748 149 118 21 10
1567 Laugh if you want. I've lost 35 pounds on the Drone Diet! 1.2752 0.04652 149 117 23 9
1568 Rick? Hi, I'm you're Uber Pilot Ranjeet. Music good? 1.2752 0.04553 149 116 25 8
1569 Don't be ridiculous, they're not suspenders. It's just so the damn things don't fly away 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
1570 I am a belt and drone man, myself. 1.2750 0.03960 160 120 36 4
1571 Uber? Lyft? I got your uber lift! 1.2749 0.04233 171 133 29 9
1572 I call it Lift. Much cheaper than those other two ride shares. 1.2749 0.04151 171 132 31 8
1573 Not only that, but commuting is a breeze now. 1.2749 0.04233 171 133 29 9
1574 How do you think I'm controlling them? 1.2748 0.04730 131 101 24 6
1575 I do not want to drone on but it is the best way to get around. 1.2747 0.04348 182 145 24 13
1576 Their owner is out of town. 1.2747 0.03983 182 140 34 8
1577 I'm a beta tester for Amazon Uberwedgie. 1.2746 0.05110 142 115 15 12
1578 ’”Relax, they’re not watching you - they’re watching everyone.” 1.2746 0.04808 142 112 21 9
1579 Frequently bought together" and I've figured out why 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1580 With the latest software update, wedgies are down 50%. 1.2746 0.03690 193 146 41 6
1581 Hasn’t gone over great in the men’s room, but the overall sense of security is worth it. 1.2745 0.04172 153 116 32 5
1582 A drawback is new batteries resulting in wedgies. 1.2745 0.04659 153 121 22 10
1583 Sorry. I tend to drone on sometimes. 1.2745 0.04470 153 119 26 8
1584 Yeah. Surgery on both eyes. They were out of dogs. 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
1585 Sir.. I"m with the Suspenders Police.. 1.2744 0.04087 164 125 33 6
1586 Sorry to keep droning on. 1.2744 0.03994 164 124 35 5
1587 We were first to market in the emerging aerial trouser suspension space. 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
1588 Let me know if I'm droning on too much! 1.2744 0.04438 164 129 25 10
1589 Why settle for a body cam? 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1590 They showed up one day, and I haven't been able to get my pants off since. 1.2739 0.04201 157 120 31 6
1591 Gotta fly! Wanna a ride? 1.2739 0.04297 157 121 29 7
1592 What buzzing noise...I don't hear a buzzing noise. 1.2739 0.04662 157 125 21 11
1593 I’m from United Airlines new Uber service. 1.2739 0.04573 157 124 23 10
1594 After the Kavanaugh hearings, I figure a man needs proof y'know. 1.2738 0.04111 168 129 32 7
1595 They’re more expensive than suspenders, but my children don’t make fun of me anymore. 1.2738 0.04196 168 130 30 8
1596 Think of it as being an uber-pedestrian. 1.2738 0.04444 168 133 24 11
1597 You get used to the constant droning. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1598 My cracker-jack attorney got me these instead of those terrible ankle monitors. 1.2733 0.04492 161 127 24 10
1599 They're powered by disbelief. 1.2733 0.04577 161 128 22 11
1600 To be honest it was the vibrations that sold me on the idea. 1.2733 0.04046 172 132 33 7
1601 Twenty five bucks to fly up and see if your girlfriend is cheating on you. 1.2733 0.04046 172 132 33 7
1602 Love my new job delivering packages for Amazon. 1.2733 0.04046 172 132 33 7
1603 Yeah, I have lost some weight, I didn’t think anyone would notice. 1.2733 0.03875 172 130 37 5
1604 Dude. The commute? Awesome! 1.2733 0.04130 172 133 31 8
1605 It's my new invention for plumber's crack. 1.2733 0.04046 172 132 33 7
1606 With these, I don't need a cape 1.2727 0.04243 165 128 29 8
1607 ...And I get frequent fly miles 1.2727 0.04414 165 130 25 10
1608 My doctor prescribed it for me when the Viagra didn't work. 1.2727 0.04539 154 121 24 9
1609 I use to bike to work 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1610 For smart apparel, it's probably the fastest-growing start-up in the wearables space. 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1611 When I wished for superpowers, this is not what I envisioned. 1.2727 0.03980 187 145 33 9
1612 My wife likes to keep tabs on everything I do. 1.2727 0.04414 165 130 25 10
1613 You’re the one who ordered “Friends” on Amazon, right? 1.2727 0.05078 143 116 15 12
1614 Just give me a sec, I ordered a belt from Amazon and they now deliver and change it in place. 1.2727 0.04579 165 132 21 12
1615 Pay up. I lost the 10 lbs before you did! 1.2722 0.03926 180 138 35 7
1616 Drives me nuts when people say new technologies don’t solve any “real” problems. 1.2722 0.04002 169 129 34 6
1617 Can I drop you off somewhere? 1.2722 0.04258 169 132 28 9
1618 It's helpful when getting out of a chair 1.2722 0.03913 169 128 36 5
1619 Sure, I miss the pugs at times, but not those little plastic baggies. 1.2722 0.04635 158 126 21 11
1620 Pardon me, I tend to drone on and on. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
1621 Don't be such a Luddite. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
1622 Haven't been harassed since 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
1623 My Uber rate is a little higher since you'll be traveling via air. 1.2722 0.04367 158 123 27 8
1624 These drones are real ballbusters. 1.2722 0.04547 158 125 23 10
1625 Turns out, AI makes better decisions about when to drop your pants. 1.2721 0.04784 147 117 20 10
1626 My commute is down to 15 min plus I never have to buy another belt! 1.2717 0.04020 184 143 32 9
1627 Wanna see the mini-drones holding up my socks? 1.2717 0.04236 184 146 26 12
1628 I just picked them up today. The suspense was killing me! 1.2717 0.04269 173 136 27 10
1629 what does it do? I don’t know, but I was the first to buy it! 1.2717 0.04269 173 136 27 10
1630 It’s like viagra, but without any side effects. 1.2716 0.04467 162 128 24 10
1631 It's called a Digital Wedgie.. 1.2716 0.04552 162 129 22 11
1632 Sure theres a better way, but it's not the modern way. 1.2716 0.04467 162 128 24 10
1633 HR required this pending my “me too” investigation. 1.2716 0.04467 162 128 24 10
1634 You really have to be on your toes to outwit the pickpockets in this neighborhood. 1.2716 0.04467 162 128 24 10
1635 Still living in the 20th century I see... 1.2715 0.04597 151 119 23 9
1636 It’s pretty cool, but I don’t want to drone on and on about it. 1.2715 0.04597 151 119 23 9
1637 OMG! I love your old school suspenders! Sorry, I'm getting carried away. 1.2715 0.04785 151 121 19 11
1638 I had to agree to this "oversight" in our marriage contract. 1.2713 0.04305 188 151 23 14
1639 I have always been an early adopter. 1.2713 0.03663 188 142 41 5
1640 They hold up my pants AND reduce shoe wear. 1.2712 0.03965 177 136 34 7
1641 It's an upgrade to the belt-and-suspenders approach. 1.2711 0.04134 166 128 31 7
1642 No they just keep me cool. 1.2711 0.04134 166 128 31 7
1643 I try to make it home before the charge runs out 1.2711 0.03860 166 125 37 4
1644 Sure I get a wedgee, but I save so much time! 1.2711 0.04044 166 127 33 6
1645 Take my hand. We're off to Never-never land! 1.2711 0.04391 166 131 25 10
1646 Sometimes I just need a little pick-me-up. 1.2711 0.04044 166 127 33 6
1647 How do you do? I'm the stunt double you ordered from Amazon.com. 1.2711 0.04221 166 129 29 8
1648 Well, they are not allowed in public restrooms. 1.2710 0.04419 155 121 26 8
1649 I put my pants on just like anyone else. Except with the use of drones. 1.2710 0.04605 155 123 22 10
1650 It’s just a real shame when they run out of battery. 1.2710 0.04419 155 121 26 8
1651 No, they don't allow me to fly. The hold up my pants. 1.2708 0.04431 144 111 27 6
1652 Belt and suspenders are so 2018, man. 1.2708 0.04207 144 109 31 4
1653 No, but it keeps my pants up. 1.2706 0.03894 170 129 36 5
1654 Can you think of a better use for them? 1.2706 0.04317 170 134 26 10
1655 Just taking the boys for a walk. 1.2706 0.04153 170 132 30 8
1656 They also take amazing selfies. 1.2706 0.04068 170 131 32 7
1657 It's cheaper than taking the bus every day. 1.2706 0.04236 170 133 28 9
1658 But Dad, Don't you think I am too old for a helicopter parent? 1.2706 0.04317 170 134 26 10
1659 They're holding me hostage. 1.2704 0.04522 159 126 23 10
1660 The tolls for the Holland Tunnel have become outrageous, and I save a ton of time on my commute! 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1661 You're still using suspenders? 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1662 They're the latest thing in suspender technology. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
1663 The only problem is that they sometimes cause a wedgie when I sit down. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1664 Hey man, I like your retro look.... 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1665 We are currently working on the wireless version... 1.2703 0.03927 185 143 34 8
1666 I just couldn't take the subway anymore. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
1667 49th street! That will cost you $3.75 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
1668 Relax. They are more afraid of you than you are of them. 1.2701 0.04006 174 134 33 7
1669 Truss me! It works! 1.2701 0.03922 174 133 35 6
1670 Less emotionally wrenching than balloons because they come back. 1.2701 0.03922 174 133 35 6
1671 Ran into Mike today. He just kept droning on and on about his new suspenders. 1.2701 0.04168 174 136 29 9
1672 It's the new google belt - have you ordered yours yet? 1.2699 0.04269 163 127 28 8
1673 Don’t ask. 1.2699 0.04088 163 125 32 6
1674 Really, dude, suspenders? 1.2699 0.04088 163 125 32 6
1675 Once installed, you’ll hardly know it’s there. 1.2699 0.04179 163 126 30 7
1676 SuspendAirs. The future comes knocking. 1.2698 0.04083 189 149 29 11
1677 The secret is to suspend your disbelief. 1.2697 0.04570 152 120 23 9
1678 Hi! I'm a Millennial. 1.2697 0.04375 152 118 27 7
1679 I want to say two words to you. Just two words. Risk management. 1.2697 0.04275 152 117 29 6
1680 Hi, I'm a millennial and I'm running for office. 1.2697 0.04848 152 123 17 12
1681 It's an iWedgie. 1.2697 0.04474 152 119 25 8
1682 They’re Levi 501 Robot Fly Jeans. 1.2697 0.04180 178 140 28 10
1683 Care for a lift? 1.2695 0.04367 167 132 25 10
1684 Suspenders man? , they are so last year. 1.2695 0.04199 167 130 29 8
1685 It's a dangerous time for men .... 1.2695 0.04608 167 135 19 13
1686 With the new drone regulations on the horizon, I'm doing what my wife does with me - keep these things on a short leash. 1.2695 0.03745 167 125 39 3
1687 Suspend your fear of technology Bill 1.2695 0.04023 167 128 33 6
1688 It is tech support, Oldtimer. 1.2695 0.04199 167 130 29 8
1689 Have you not heard of Prime Wardrobe? 1.2695 0.04112 167 129 31 7
1690 Guaranteed, no one violates your personal space. 1.2692 0.03895 156 117 36 3
1691 I call them suspenderers. 1.2692 0.04668 156 125 20 11
1692 I wish you could see how silly you look wearing those. 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
1693 I don't know. Why does a tech nerd have two drones attached to his suspenders? 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
1694 Hey, Buddy, wanna buy a pair of flying suspenders? 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
1695 Do you think I look like a tourist? 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
1696 You should see my garter 1.2692 0.04189 182 144 27 11
1697 It’s the new Amazon rideshare 1.2690 0.03833 197 153 35 9
1698 I was tired of people laughing at my suspenders. 1.2690 0.04214 171 134 28 9
1699 HEY, FRED! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER! 1.2690 0.03874 171 130 36 5
1700 Yeah well, you know what else is impractical? Just your whole tone. 1.2690 0.04132 171 133 30 8
1701 Yes, these drone suspenders do get out of control sometimes, and yes, I'm the same guy who used to sing bass in the barbershop quartet. 1.2690 0.04374 171 136 24 11
1702 My downstairs neighbor complained about my heavy footsteps. 1.2690 0.03784 171 129 38 4
1703 So yeah, I hope you can help my Kickstarter. 1.2688 0.04318 160 125 27 8
1704 I call them NSC and FBI. 1.2688 0.04583 160 128 21 11
1705 I feel like she doesn’t trust me... 1.2688 0.04132 160 123 31 6
1706 Uber got too expensive. And this is faster. 1.2688 0.04226 160 124 29 7
1707 You should see them at wedgie speed! 1.2688 0.04752 160 130 17 13
1708 I call it the iBelt. 1.2688 0.04132 160 123 31 6
1709 Can you tell me where the nearest outdoor bathroom is? 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1710 With this I avoid traffic and occasionally get a free hair trim. 1.2685 0.04429 149 116 26 7
1711 That look won't fly. 1.2685 0.04530 149 117 24 8
1712 It's Apple's new EyeBelt. 1.2685 0.04629 149 118 22 9
1713 Weird, right? Our fertility specialist says it'll work. 1.2685 0.04629 149 118 22 9
1714 I hate to drone on, but I really need to get going. 1.2683 0.04503 164 131 22 11
1715 Amazon delivered me cause I'm Prime. 1.2683 0.04503 164 131 22 11
1716 Let me guess, you're one of those 'puts his pants on one drone at a time' types. 1.2683 0.04503 164 131 22 11
1717 But if it takes off, the sky’s the limit. 1.2683 0.04419 164 130 24 10
1718 It's just a prototype. 1.2683 0.03973 164 125 34 5
1719 Belts are SO last century! 1.2683 0.04066 164 126 32 6
1720 Growing a pair wasn’t an option... 1.2683 0.04333 164 129 26 9
1721 They’re great. They hold up my pants and spy on my neighbors 1.2683 0.04503 164 131 22 11
1722 Kites weren't as practical indoors. 1.2683 0.04419 164 130 24 10
1723 It won't work, eh? That's what they said about Uber and Lyft ! 1.2680 0.03869 194 151 34 9
1724 Fine, but can your suspenders take 3D selfies? 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
1725 Now I can spy on my neighbors while keeping my pants up 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
1726 Exercise is old school. I haven't lifted a finger and I'm 15 pounds lighter. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
1727 Yes, I am from Amazon! You obviously made a mistake when you made the order 1.2680 0.04729 153 123 19 11
1728 Allow me to drone on... 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
1729 Just taking them for a little walk. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
1730 Look. In these trying times, anything to lighten our burdens. 1.2679 0.04344 168 133 25 10
1731 Scary Poppins, nice to meet you. 1.2679 0.04261 168 132 27 9
1732 You have to adjust yours by hand, huh? Seems needlessly complicated. 1.2679 0.04737 168 138 15 15
1733 I was told you would be in a red sedan. 1.2679 0.04261 168 132 27 9
1734 I know Uber and Lyft are swamped. Make up your mind, do want the ride or not? 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
1735 Pull my finger - I need more propulsion. 1.2676 0.04888 142 114 18 10
1736 Alexa, now show the semi-sagging mode. 1.2676 0.04679 142 112 22 8
1737 I am a belt, suspenders and drone kinda guy. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1738 Drone-man! I tried a cape but it kept getting caught in the rotors. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1739 Where can I drop you off? 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1740 No-tech suspenders are so 20th century. 1.2674 0.03942 172 132 34 6
1741 Came up with the idea in high school. It's a bully deterent 1.2674 0.04505 172 139 20 13
1742 Segways are obsolete. 1.2671 0.04384 161 127 25 9
1743 I’m saving a fortune on belts. 1.2671 0.04384 161 127 25 9
1744 Suck it, United. 1.2671 0.04472 161 128 23 10
1745 I'm suspending my Amazon Prime delivery option. 1.2671 0.04015 161 123 33 5
1746 You may call me paranoid but you never know when you need an alibi. 1.2671 0.04384 161 127 25 9
1747 Carl found that Bob tended to drone on and on.. 1.2670 0.04356 176 141 23 12
1748 Excuse me while I drone on . 1.2670 0.04205 176 139 27 10
1749 Sorry if I drone on 1.2667 0.04139 180 142 28 10
1750 You should see me put on my underwear. 1.2667 0.04300 150 116 28 6
1751 You get 360 degree street views with the confidence that you're pants won't fall down. 1.2667 0.04045 165 127 32 6
1752 Smile. If they think you're a mugger what happens isn't pretty. 1.2667 0.04395 165 131 24 10
1753 This is going to replace driverless cars, 1.2667 0.04602 150 119 22 9
1754 Suspenders by Amazon. 1.2667 0.03952 165 126 34 5
1755 Hey, it’s a lot quicker than a cab! 1.2663 0.04003 184 144 31 9
1756 When the traffic gets tough, the tough get moving 1.2663 0.04155 169 132 29 8
1757 Unlike your suspenders, these come with recharable batteries and an onboard camera. 1.2663 0.03982 169 130 33 6
1758 Well, I've been droning on. How are you doing? 1.2663 0.04069 169 131 31 7
1759 It's the newest thing in house arrest! 1.2662 0.04517 154 122 23 9
1760 Looks like Amazon is here to collect payment for these jeans! 1.2662 0.04610 154 123 21 10
1761 Once in a while, I just need a little pick-me-up. 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1762 I got them from a breeder in West Virginia. 1.2662 0.04610 154 123 21 10
1763 I'm suspended for the whole Fall Season. 1.2662 0.04281 139 106 29 4
1764 You need help?—I have some pull." 1.2660 0.03722 188 144 38 6
1765 I can’t tell which one is the devil and which is the angel. 1.2659 0.04251 173 137 26 10
1766 I look for women taller than me. 1.2658 0.04251 158 123 28 7
1767 You call those suspenders? 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
1768 Wait a minute - let me see how yours work 1.2658 0.04251 158 123 28 7
1769 You must think I'm droning on and on. 1.2658 0.04345 158 124 26 8
1770 Do you know of an open-concept restroom around here? 1.2658 0.04527 158 126 22 10
1771 Ever tried to get a cab at rush hour? 1.2658 0.04057 158 121 32 5
1772 I'm redefining power dressing. 1.2657 0.04433 143 111 26 6
1773 It beats the subway 1.2655 0.03780 177 135 37 5
1774 I'm changing how I see myself. 1.2654 0.04360 162 128 25 9
1775 I know, I can’t believe it either. Twins! 1.2654 0.04617 162 131 19 12
1776 You know, all is well until you get caught in a tree 1.2654 0.04271 162 127 27 8
1777 Hey, I never criticize the way you hold up your pants. 1.2654 0.04181 162 126 29 7
1778 I don't know who is controlling these things, but you should see how I go to the bathroom. 1.2654 0.04360 162 128 25 9
1779 Just come up with me! I'm sure I've got enough battery. 1.2654 0.03993 162 124 33 5
1780 It makes me feel special, Gary. 1.2654 0.04533 162 130 21 11
1781 Double drones, dude... suspender disbelief! 1.2653 0.04561 147 116 23 8
1782 You didn't hear? This is part of Prime now. 1.2653 0.04561 147 116 23 8
1783 Gave up waiting for the jet-pack, man" 1.2653 0.04133 147 112 31 4
1784 Belt and suspenders is so 20th Century 1.2653 0.04244 147 113 29 5
1785 I apologize for droning on and on. 1.2651 0.04371 166 132 24 10
1786 Come fly with me. Come fly, let's fly away. 1.2651 0.04371 166 132 24 10
1787 Because bootstrapping is so last decade. 1.2651 0.04371 166 132 24 10
1788 I wear a belt just to be on the safe side 1.2651 0.03838 166 126 36 4
1789 You could just buy one, but you’d look weird. 1.2651 0.04371 166 132 24 10
1790 That Untuckit craze ruined my idea. 1.2651 0.04371 166 132 24 10
1791 We don't know if it's scalable yet. 1.2649 0.04477 151 119 24 8
1792 Hi, I'm the new "better" you. Your girlfriend just purchased me online and got free one day drone shipping. 1.2649 0.04946 151 124 14 13
1793 I'm telling you thus beats taking the subway during rush hour. 1.2649 0.04477 151 119 24 8
1794 I have always tried not to be a helicopter parent 1.2647 0.04048 170 132 31 7
1795 Am I droning on? 1.2647 0.04048 170 132 31 7
1796 Yeah? Well, I happen to LIKE wedgies. 1.2647 0.04379 170 136 23 11
1797 This cartoon is fake. Real engineers would be looking at each other’s feet while talking. 1.2647 0.04458 170 137 21 12
1798 Do you mind taking my photo? 1.2646 0.04203 189 152 24 13
1799 Welcome aboard Uber Air. 1.2646 0.03854 189 147 34 8
1800 Sure, I could have just bought tighter pants, but these were on sale. 1.2645 0.04492 155 123 23 9
1801 These bad boys have an automatic alert for plumber's crack. 1.2645 0.04397 155 122 25 8
1802 But you would if Musk did! 1.2645 0.04397 155 122 25 8
1803 I'm not getting caught with my pants down! 1.2644 0.04459 174 141 20 13
1804 I'm just like you. I put my pants on one drone at a time. 1.2644 0.04150 174 137 28 9
1805 Not only do I not need a belt, I can deliver myself anywhere in the tri-state area. 1.2643 0.04821 140 112 19 9
1806 For 50 bucks I'll spray your monogram and a mustache on the Statue of Liberty. 1.2642 0.03940 193 152 31 10
1807 But I can FLY, Mac - Can your suspenders do that? 1.2642 0.04412 159 126 24 9
1808 Stop me if I seem to be droning on. 1.2640 0.04312 178 143 23 12
1809 Brother, can you spare a drone? 1.2640 0.03927 178 138 33 7
1810 Detective Farr here with complete aerial surveillance services. 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
1811 Do your suspenders even have Bluetooth, bro? 1.2639 0.04515 144 113 24 7
1812 I’m a drone and suspenders kind of guy. 1.2638 0.04158 163 127 29 7
1813 Actually, they're court-ordered. Weinstein has a fleet. 1.2638 0.04508 163 131 21 11
1814 ...just download the App "Pants On Demand." 1.2638 0.04066 163 126 31 6
1815 They go in opposite directions sometimes. 1.2638 0.04248 163 128 27 8
1816 Its like Lyft, but literally. What floor please? 1.2638 0.04248 163 128 27 8
1817 Belt and drones, yes, I'm in tech 1.2637 0.04244 182 146 24 12
1818 Works way better than a belt. 1.2637 0.04099 182 144 28 10
1819 Once I add the passenger seat I'll have put the lift in Lyft! 1.2637 0.03791 182 140 36 6
1820 It’s either that or the G train. 1.2635 0.04348 167 133 24 10
1821 I'm telling you, blockchain is over, Jim. You've got to keep looking ahead. 1.2635 0.04264 167 132 26 9
1822 OK, Kenny. Time to raise some hell with the birdwatchers. 1.2635 0.04264 167 132 26 9
1823 They record everything I see so I don't have to be bothered with remembering stuff. 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1824 I apologize if I drone on about my new suspenders. 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
1825 It's not the idea, Tim. It's the execution. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1826 They hold my pants up. You know, suspenders. 1.2632 0.04451 152 120 24 8
1827 Same lift, less suspense. 1.2632 0.04112 171 134 29 8
1828 I was waiting at a street corner a few weeks back and I thought to myself "I bet I waste 15 minutes every day waiting for the stupid walk sign". 1.2632 0.04434 171 138 21 12
1829 Sorry to be droning on. Just give me your wallet and I'll fly out of here... 1.2629 0.04129 175 138 28 9
1830 Sometimes I just drone on. 1.2629 0.03883 175 135 34 6
1831 These came free with my last Amazon delivery! 1.2628 0.04558 156 125 21 10
1832 You don't think this fad is going to take off, do you? 1.2628 0.04079 156 120 31 5
1833 There are times when you just can't get your smartphone out fast enough. 1.2628 0.04372 156 123 25 8
1834 Ok, I’ll concede drone package delivery isn’t perfect. 1.2628 0.04079 156 120 31 5
1835 You just gotta watch the battery life when your up there. 1.2628 0.04466 156 124 23 9
1836 This is more convenient than Lyft and Uber. 1.2626 0.03908 179 139 33 7
1837 Sure beats suspenders. 1.2625 0.04476 160 128 22 10
1838 They came free with Amazon Prime. 1.2623 0.04152 183 146 26 11
1839 What? They were on sale. 1.2623 0.04005 183 144 30 9
1840 Suspend your disbelief, my friend. This is the future. 1.2622 0.04313 164 130 25 9
1841 It's the ONLY way to get through NY traffic. 1.2622 0.03951 164 126 33 5
1842 Awkward, shmawkward. My live stream colonoscopies have 90,000 subscribers! 1.2622 0.04225 164 129 27 8
1843 Unlike suspenders, these do way more than just hold my pants up. 1.2622 0.04136 164 128 29 7
1844 Mine allows me to fly, what does yours do besides keep your pants up ? 1.2622 0.04313 164 130 25 9
1845 Look, it's safe, trust me! AND it sure beats riding one of those stupid scooters! 1.2622 0.03951 164 126 33 5
1846 It's way better than suspenders, but I can't use revolving doors. 1.2622 0.04136 164 128 29 7
1847 Now when people call me "four eyes" I take it as a compliment. 1.2621 0.04268 145 112 28 5
1848 You really need the upgrade. 1.2620 0.03946 187 147 31 9
1849 It's really the only way I could deal with a fourth-floor walk-up. 1.2619 0.04070 168 131 30 7
1850 Yes, but with mine I can fly. 1.2619 0.03891 168 129 34 5
1851 Sure I tend to drone on, but now at least my pants stay up. 1.2619 0.04157 168 132 28 8
1852 No worries, bro, they’re in reverse to help me stay grounded. 1.2619 0.04070 168 131 30 7
1853 It has its pluses, but I'm concerned if one gets called to another task. 1.2619 0.04070 168 131 30 7
1854 It’s the new ball and chain. 1.2619 0.04406 168 135 22 11
1855 It seemed like a good idea at the time... 1.2618 0.03890 191 150 32 9
1856 No, it's a broken belt. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
1857 You're looking at Prime delivery. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
1858 I can follow myself around so that the department store security guy can take a break. 1.2616 0.04173 172 136 27 9
1859 I used to walk dogs but this is more uplifting. 1.2616 0.04007 172 134 31 7
1860 Drone-drone is the new bling-bling. 1.2616 0.04333 172 138 23 11
1861 Because they keep my pants up and shoot video. 1.2616 0.04091 172 135 29 8
1862 Hi, I'm from Planet Douchebag 1.2616 0.04487 172 140 19 13
1863 They're going to make belts obsolete. 1.2616 0.04091 172 135 29 8
1864 They give me the lift I need every morning without any coffee. 1.2616 0.03744 172 131 37 4
1865 I hate to drone on and on about it, but we live in a surveillance society. 1.2616 0.04173 172 136 27 9
1866 All I need is the costume of an obscure cartoon character, and then Macy's Parade here I come! 1.2614 0.04425 153 121 24 8
1867 Tighty whiteys. Why? 1.2614 0.04413 176 143 20 13
1868 They also hold up my pants. 1.2614 0.04028 176 138 30 8
1869 Well, of course they make a droning noise. 1.2614 0.04108 176 139 28 9
1870 It's the latest in suspenders. Very uplifting 1.2611 0.03742 157 118 37 2
1871 Am I droning on and on again? 1.2611 0.04621 157 127 19 11
1872 Puts the “suspend” in suspender doesn’t it? 1.2611 0.04196 180 144 25 11
1873 Those suspenders are so yesterday. 1.2609 0.04182 161 126 28 7
1874 People say I drone on and on. 1.2609 0.04203 184 148 24 12
1875 Suspenders just don't give me the lift I need anymore. 1.2609 0.04747 138 110 20 8
1876 Suspender craft 1.2609 0.04273 161 127 26 8
1877 Dude, you gotta lose those old-time suspenders - these guys hold your pants up, and can also provide you with a a Lyft! 1.2609 0.04182 161 126 28 7
1878 You have to think outside the box. It's a manned drone. 1.2606 0.04290 165 131 25 9
1879 It does get a bit tight in the crotch when it's windy. 1.2606 0.04290 165 131 25 9
1880 - Suspension of Disbelief - 1.2606 0.04203 165 130 27 8
1881 Win-win. I was hot, too. 1.2606 0.03930 165 127 33 5
1882 I am a test pilot for a new ride sharing venture. 1.2606 0.04375 165 132 23 10
1883 This is my second suspension. 1.2606 0.04290 165 131 25 9
1884 I’m waiting to hear back from Shark Tank. 1.2606 0.04023 165 128 31 6
1885 My station can't afford a helicopter. 1.2606 0.04545 142 112 23 7
1886 Suspenders. Done. Belts. Done. These babies are the 21st century solution to the world's oldest problem. 1.2604 0.03872 192 151 32 9
1887 I'm sorry- Am I droning on too much? 1.2604 0.04135 169 133 28 8
1888 I’m very attached to my drones 1.2604 0.04219 169 134 26 9
1889 Selfie sticks are so 2016. 1.2604 0.04049 169 132 30 7
1890 I had too much for lunch and now I can't get home. 1.2604 0.04135 169 133 28 8
1891 Do YOUR suspenders shoot 4K video? 1.2604 0.04049 169 132 30 7
1892 Drones are the suspenders of the future. 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1893 They can't quite lift me off the ground, but my pants never sag. 1.2601 0.03902 173 134 33 6
1894 Sure, the wedgie is a bit uncomfortable, but I think it's worth it. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1895 Elon Musk told me this was the next logical step. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1896 Suspenders? That’s so last century. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1897 We're disrupting the suspenders industry. 1.2599 0.04087 177 140 28 9
1898 Well, at risk of droning on and on... 1.2597 0.04400 154 122 24 8
1899 I'm just trying to rise above all the hate and litter. 1.2597 0.04202 154 120 28 6
1900 It pays a lot better than my old dog-walking business did, and they're easier to control. 1.2597 0.04302 154 121 26 7
1901 I feel like an idiot, but hey, it's progress. 1.2597 0.04302 154 121 26 7
1902 My dream is to render belts obsolete. 1.2597 0.03995 154 118 32 4
1903 A drone only provides information, but a manned done provides context. 1.2597 0.04302 154 121 26 7
1904 Get it? Suspenders of disbelief! 1.2597 0.04495 154 123 22 9
1905 Brookstone has all the gadgets you need for the holidays! 1.2597 0.04202 154 120 28 6
1906 They offer excellent technical support 1.2597 0.04202 154 120 28 6
1907 Quaint. 1.2597 0.04026 181 143 29 9
1908 Not all heroes where capes. 1.2597 0.03870 181 141 33 7
1909 You get used to the buzzing. 1.2597 0.03708 181 139 37 5
1910 I used to twirl plates on sticks, but that was sooo 20th Century. 1.2597 0.04026 181 143 29 9
1911 Cheap, yeah, but the carry on luggage charge is astronomical. 1.2595 0.03932 158 121 33 4
1912 It’s from the Amazon Optimus Prime collection 1.2595 0.04681 158 129 17 12
1913 How is it useless if every time I go to the bathroom I get a free haircut? 1.2595 0.04323 158 125 25 8
1914 I couldn't hear a word you said, but can tell you wish you'd thought of this first! 1.2595 0.04229 158 124 27 7
1915 Don't worry it's Cool. I just got a new job. I'm working in R&D at Amazon. 1.2595 0.04112 185 148 26 11
1916 The weight's been flying off 1.2595 0.04040 185 147 28 10
1917 It's sort of 'belt and suspenders' for the 21st century. 1.2593 0.04339 162 129 24 9
1918 Wearing a belt with suspenders looked foolish. 1.2593 0.04159 162 127 28 7
1919 It's not what you think. It's just a new type of hairdryer. 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
1920 Since I was over $35, I was delivered for free today. 1.2593 0.03970 162 125 32 5
1921 I call it a 'stealthie'! 1.2593 0.03970 162 125 32 5
1922 I'm what the buzz is about! 1.2593 0.04250 162 128 26 8
1923 Are you 100% sure you've left the window open? 1.2590 0.04434 166 134 21 11
1924 It’s not hipster, Greg, it’s the future! 1.2590 0.04180 166 131 27 8
1925 Sorry to drone on and on like this... 1.2590 0.04596 166 136 17 13
1926 You look ridiculous. 1.2590 0.04351 166 133 23 10
1927 At first I used them only as suspenders. 1.2588 0.04113 170 134 28 8
1928 Let's just let bi-drones be bi-drones 1.2588 0.04360 170 137 22 11
1929 It's the only way I can keep these lo-rise jeans from falling down to my knees. 1.2588 0.04279 170 136 24 10
1930 They eliminate the need for suspenders and give you a little lift when you need it. 1.2588 0.03941 170 132 32 6
1931 This is the future of testicle support. 1.2587 0.04833 143 116 17 10
1932 I bought them on Amazon 1.2586 0.04131 174 138 27 9
1933 Yes, This is your Uber transport! I piggy back you to your destination 1.2586 0.04131 174 138 27 9
1934 Its a true disruption of the suspenders economy. 1.2585 0.04433 147 116 24 7
1935 Amazon really is stepping up their game. 1.2585 0.04738 147 119 18 10
1936 Oh, you're supposed to pilot these remotely? 1.2583 0.04353 151 119 25 7
1937 It makes me light in my loafers... 1.2583 0.04353 151 119 25 7
1938 They detect nearby security threats and they keep my pants up. 1.2583 0.04454 151 120 23 8
1939 You conservatives are always stuck in the past. 1.2582 0.04081 182 145 27 10
1940 Why, yes, I have been accused of droning on. Why do you ask? 1.2582 0.03929 182 143 31 8
1941 Disbelief Suspenders 1.2582 0.03929 182 143 31 8
1942 '.....nope, just glad to see you....' 1.2582 0.03929 182 143 31 8
1943 Alexa said these were the best Suspenders! 1.2581 0.04278 155 122 26 7
1944 It'll work fine as soon as I lose 150 lbs... 1.2581 0.03947 186 147 30 9
1945 It's much better than the suspenders you wear but you do have to wear weighted shoes otherwise you flip over. 1.2581 0.04469 155 124 22 9
1946 It came with the pants 1.2581 0.04374 155 123 24 8
1947 Get with the program, Phil. There's a drone for everything these days. 1.2581 0.04374 155 123 24 8
1948 Why do it your way when you can pay more for a less effective solution? 1.2581 0.04742 155 127 16 12
1949 It’s called sans a belt 1.2581 0.04562 155 125 20 10
1950 Well, I'm droning on... 1.2579 0.04480 159 128 21 10
1951 Check out the new Amazon Prime Air Travel. 1.2579 0.04655 159 130 17 12
1952 I thought those things went out with landlines! 1.2579 0.04299 159 126 25 8
1953 Its FAA approved! 1.2579 0.03911 159 122 33 4
1954 Getting the briefs on is the tricky part. 1.2579 0.04110 159 124 29 6
1955 My wife's design. 1.2577 0.03906 194 154 30 10
1956 Could you spare a couple of batteries? 1.2577 0.04044 163 127 30 6
1957 They’re from the same guys that created MoviePass. 1.2577 0.04227 163 129 26 8
1958 Hi, I just flew in from the Hamptons. 1.2577 0.04402 163 131 22 10
1959 Turns out drones are cheaper than belts these days. 1.2577 0.04136 163 128 28 7
1960 I find suspenders to be too confining. 1.2577 0.04227 163 129 26 8
1961 Believe me, it's the best wearable since the Google Glass! 1.2577 0.04402 163 131 22 10
1962 They swore it was better than an ankle monitor! 1.2577 0.04136 163 128 28 7
1963 I'm beginning to feel a bit light in my loafers. 1.2573 0.04175 171 136 26 9
1964 Just so you know, I plan to drone on and on. 1.2573 0.04337 171 138 22 11
1965 Should have stuck with suspenders. 1.2573 0.04175 171 136 26 9
1966 They take the weight off my shoulders. 1.2571 0.04110 175 139 27 9
1967 Jeez, Ned, next you’re gonna tell me you’re still using Viagra?! 1.2571 0.04267 175 141 23 11
1968 They're rescue drones, and I'm trying to find a good home for them. 1.2571 0.04110 175 139 27 9
1969 So I decided,'Why not make them useful!' 1.2570 0.03889 179 140 32 7
1970 Your braces are so passé! 1.2569 0.04802 144 117 17 10
1971 No more sitting on the couch with a cumbersome ankle bracelet. Introducing Drone arrest! 1.2569 0.04267 144 112 27 5
1972 They come with free altercations. 1.2568 0.03986 183 145 29 9
1973 I've always been an early adopter of new technology. 1.2568 0.04193 148 115 28 5
1974 It may seem like a lot, but believe me, I put my pants on one leg and one drone at a time, just like you. 1.2568 0.04301 148 116 26 6
1975 My pants are fine, I'm having my testicles stretched. 1.2568 0.04709 148 120 18 10
1976 It's a lot easier than spinning dishes. 1.2568 0.04301 148 116 26 6
1977 I'm taking suspender fashion to new heights. 1.2567 0.04072 187 150 26 11
1978 ...just the money I save on parking makes it a no-brainer. 1.2567 0.03928 187 148 30 9
1979 It’s Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang for millennials. 1.2566 0.04328 152 120 25 7
1980 I can avoid traffic jams, grab dinner at a drive-thru, and get home in no time. The pigeons like to dive bomb me, though... 1.2566 0.04122 152 118 29 5
1981 The price is steep, but it is worth it knowing that you are better than everyone else 1.2564 0.04054 156 121 30 5
1982 I don't tweet. I twirl. 1.2564 0.04714 156 128 16 12
1983 You don’t get it, it’s supposed to be ironic. 1.2564 0.04253 156 123 26 7
1984 Hey- Do you know which way to the Shark Tank studios? 1.2564 0.04349 156 124 24 8
1985 This new improved model is absolutely guaranteed not to give you a wedgie. 1.2563 0.04275 160 127 25 8
1986 I found the Midtown pigeons to be particularly rude and unwilling to share their airspace. 1.2563 0.03990 160 124 31 5
1987 Be honest. Is my bald spot growing? 1.2563 0.04182 160 126 27 7
1988 Think movies. It's the suspension of disbelief. 1.2561 0.04204 164 130 26 8
1989 Suspenders were so 1980s. 1.2561 0.04022 164 128 30 6
1990 I’m under drone surveillance 1.2561 0.04546 164 134 18 12
1991 I am competing for the 2018 Darwin Award. 1.2561 0.04022 164 128 30 6
1992 Hi,Jeff Bezos here 1.2561 0.04204 164 130 26 8
1993 Amazon is hiring 1.2560 0.03869 168 130 33 5
1994 I can't find my belt. 1.2560 0.04136 168 133 27 8
1995 A belt-and-suspenders approach seemed like overkill, so I just went with this. 1.2560 0.03960 168 131 31 6
1996 It's a great system until I need to visit the john. 1.2560 0.04049 168 132 29 7
1997 It's like a parole ankle monitor, but with wedgie capabilities. 1.2560 0.04136 168 133 27 8
1998 You know what they say, two drones are better than one. 1.2560 0.04221 168 134 25 9
1999 The only downside of being totally wired is going to the men's room 1.2557 0.04009 176 139 29 8
2000 My wife is convinced I can't keep my trousers on 1.2557 0.04089 176 140 27 9
2001 No, they're not holding up my pants. 1.2557 0.03843 176 137 33 6
2002 Don't give me that ethics crap.Do you want to spy on your girlfriend or not? 1.2557 0.03927 176 138 31 7
2003 Belts are so LAST YEAR 1.2557 0.03843 176 137 33 6
2004 Look at me droning on to a guy who already gets it. 1.2556 0.03788 180 140 34 6
2005 Those suspenders are so last millennium. 1.2554 0.03892 184 145 31 8
2006 This way, if anyone tries to shoot me, I'll have proof! 1.2551 0.03732 196 154 34 8
2007 uberwings at your service. 1.2550 0.04483 149 119 22 8
2008 The only thing we have to fear is...EVERYTHING! 1.2549 0.04593 153 124 19 10
2009 The wedgy? Yeah, but that's the beauty of it. You just say, "MyDrones, bring it down two inches!" 1.2549 0.03992 153 118 31 4
2010 Wow, look at me droning on, I'm Bill. 1.2548 0.04325 157 125 24 8
2011 But these are so much more than just suspenders. 1.2548 0.04132 157 123 28 6
2012 I can't really hear you, but yeah I do like veggies. 1.2548 0.04510 157 127 20 10
2013 They can take me anywhere except the airport; they shoot me down in that sector. 1.2548 0.04132 157 123 28 6
2014 They keep me light on my feet, but still can’t lift my spirits. 1.2548 0.04418 157 126 22 9
2015 AND I don't need a belt. 1.2548 0.04325 157 125 24 8
2016 These won't clutter up the sidewalks or knock out pedestrians like those damn electric scooters. 1.2548 0.04325 157 125 24 8
2017 Apparently the Fashion Police now have drones. 1.2547 0.04430 161 130 21 10
2018 I hated getting those ridges in my shoulders. 1.2547 0.04430 161 130 21 10
2019 They are also attached to my socks. 1.2547 0.04342 161 129 23 9
2020 You' re right - going to the John can be very challenging.. 1.2547 0.04430 161 130 21 10
2021 They’re in beta. 1.2545 0.04354 165 133 22 10
2022 And the best part, they'll run all day on a quart of honey. 1.2545 0.04001 165 129 30 6
2023 My ex fiancé dumped me because I kept droning on and on. 1.2545 0.04092 165 130 28 7
2024 Suspenders are so yesterday 1.2545 0.04354 165 133 22 10
2025 They follow me on Facebook. 1.2545 0.04269 165 132 24 9
2026 Yes, but I felt the belt version a bit invasive. 1.2543 0.04050 173 137 28 8
2027 go ahead buddyboy pull my finger 1.2543 0.04213 173 139 24 10
2028 The pants go down as quickly as they go up! Adapt or die, my friend. 1.2543 0.04132 173 138 26 9
2029 I think you’re missing the point.” 1.2543 0.04292 173 140 22 11
2030 Jeeze Bob, get with the 21st century! 1.2542 0.03653 177 136 37 4
2031 Belts and suspenders weren't working for me. 1.2542 0.04068 177 141 27 9
2032 Brilliant. What do you call the shoulder belts? 1.2542 0.03989 177 140 29 8
2033 Don't worry, they relax my shoulders and put a spring in my step. 1.2541 0.03604 181 139 38 4
2034 I'm testing the new Lyft "Literally" option 1.2541 0.03770 181 141 34 6
2035 After nearly thirty years as senior mechanical engineer at Boeing, I decided to launch my own company. 1.2541 0.03604 181 139 38 4
2036 It's the latest buzz. 1.2541 0.03796 185 145 33 7
2037 Just out walking my new pets, Eye and Spy. 1.2535 0.04627 142 114 20 8
2038 Finally, customer support I can give 5 stars! 1.2534 0.04539 146 117 21 8
2039 So I says to myself, 'I'm not gonna be one of these office drones.' 1.2534 0.04434 146 116 23 7
2040 Trust me, the drone pants always make a great impression on a first tinder date. 1.2533 0.04456 150 120 22 8
2041 I'm just not into pre-drone era fashion. 1.2533 0.04555 150 121 20 9
2042 my right hand wanted to know what my left hand was doing 1.2533 0.04250 150 118 26 6
2043 As Plato said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." 1.2533 0.04144 150 117 28 5
2044 They told me to lift myself up by my bootstraps, but why not take it one step further? 1.2533 0.04354 150 119 24 7
2045 It beats waiting in traffic! 1.2532 0.04278 154 122 25 7
2046 Yeah, but do yours intelligently pull your pants down when you have to pee? 1.2532 0.04278 154 122 25 7
2047 Until I find a pair of 32 regulars, these suckers do the trick 1.2532 0.04376 154 123 23 8
2048 These babies are completely programmable and adopt to a variety of male and female garments. 1.2532 0.03969 154 119 31 4
2049 Because the airlines have jacked up their prices again. 1.2532 0.04075 154 120 29 5
2050 Mine are superior as long as I have batteries, a cellphone, an app, and an internet connection. 1.2532 0.04300 158 126 24 8
2051 I’m disrupting belt technology 1.2532 0.04206 158 125 26 7
2052 Old school, eh? I like it. 1.2532 0.04009 158 123 30 5
2053 You'll never guess how you squeeze the hands-free remote! 1.2531 0.04406 162 131 21 10
2054 I fly the pants in the family. 1.2531 0.04043 162 127 29 6
2055 Try to suspend your disbelief Stuart. 1.2531 0.04318 162 130 23 9
2056 Regular suspenders dig into my shoulders. 1.2531 0.04136 162 128 27 7
2057 I call them: Suspenders®! 1.2531 0.04228 162 129 25 8
2058 The weggie is free of charge. 1.2530 0.04331 166 134 22 10
2059 The WiFi won't be the only thing that drops. 1.2530 0.04070 166 131 28 7
2060 Technology supports us more and more every day 1.2530 0.03694 166 127 36 3
2061 They do pull a little bit, but you get used to it. 1.2530 0.03887 166 129 32 5
2062 The pigeon traffic is horrible today. 1.2530 0.03887 166 129 32 5
2063 As you can see, the new Gucci Belt 3000 comes standard with dual drone capability. 1.2530 0.04159 166 132 26 8
2064 It’s great as long as the batteries last. 1.2530 0.03979 166 130 30 6
2065 You can wait for a sedan or leave now by drone. 1.2529 0.04093 170 135 27 8
2066 When the batteries start to run down, you know its time to head home. 1.2529 0.03919 170 133 31 6
2067 Smarty pants 1.2529 0.03829 170 132 33 5
2068 ...but now, I can't imagine life without them. 1.2529 0.04029 174 138 28 8
2069 AmaJohn Prime, nice to meet you. 1.2529 0.03861 174 136 32 6
2070 So when my boss says, 'Your pants are sagging, you're out of dress code,' I just press a button. 1.2529 0.04111 174 139 26 9
2071 Come on Carl, get with the times. 1.2529 0.04029 174 138 28 8
2072 Are you here to SUSPEND my FAA drone registration?? 1.2528 0.04048 178 142 27 9
2073 No, but I'm quite light on my feet. 1.2528 0.03805 178 139 33 6
2074 Driving a car is so 2017, bro. 1.2526 0.03957 194 156 27 11
2075 Suspenders are so 1980s Wall Street. 1.2525 0.03699 198 156 34 8
2076 ... and when batteries go, the drones and pants drop. 1.2525 0.03835 198 158 30 10
2077 Puppet? You're the puppet. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
2078 We’re starting with belts, but our investors see a growing opportunity in bootstraps. 1.2517 0.04300 147 116 25 6
2079 Does my outfit look fly or what. 1.2517 0.04407 147 117 23 7
2080 I couldn't say "no", it was buy one get one free! 1.2517 0.04078 147 114 29 4
2081 I do admit that the first couple of tries were painful until I decided to wear a supporter. 1.2517 0.04512 147 118 21 8
2082 Hi, I'm Nathan from Microsoft, do you have time to take a quick survey? 1.2517 0.04429 151 121 22 8
2083 Do you know any places with decent carry-out under 6-1/2 pounds 1.2517 0.04719 151 124 16 11
2084 We've tried Viagra, Cialis...I tell you, this doctor is one persistent guy. 1.2517 0.04429 151 121 22 8
2085 This new suspenders system is head-and-shoulders above the rest. 1.2516 0.04254 155 123 25 7
2086 Can I borrow your phone? I need to pee. 1.2516 0.04539 155 126 19 10
2087 Sure, but what's keeping your suspenders up? 1.2516 0.04446 155 125 21 9
2088 They're hard on the crotch when you first power up but after 10 minutes, they're great. 1.2516 0.04446 155 125 21 9
2089 They're still improving the battery life. Right now, I can only be in public for like 20 minutes. 1.2516 0.04254 155 123 25 7
2090 It’s Silicon Valley’s answer to those ridiculous suspenders. 1.2516 0.04276 159 127 24 8
2091 I can get crosstown in 15 minutes. 1.2516 0.03987 159 124 30 5
2092 If you know a simpler, technologically progressive way to hold up pants, I'd love to hear it... 1.2516 0.04086 159 125 28 6
2093 They were Buy One-Get One Free on Amazon 1.2516 0.04086 159 125 28 6
2094 Sorry to drone on and on, but the concept really is quite simple... 1.2515 0.04021 163 128 29 6
2095 Droneless suspenders were so 2018. 1.2515 0.04114 163 129 27 7
2096 Give them up,you too can fly by the seat of your pants. 1.2515 0.04205 163 130 25 8
2097 Yeah, elevators can be tricky. 1.2515 0.04114 163 129 27 7
2098 Suspenders are so 20th Century. 1.2515 0.04294 163 131 23 9
2099 My friends tell me I need to be more self aware. 1.2515 0.03925 163 127 31 5
2100 Not sure I believe in the rise of the machines, but these ones are rising up my ass 1.2515 0.04205 163 130 25 8
2101 It's the future Jim 1.2515 0.04048 167 132 28 7
2102 They keep me cool, hold up my pants and are great conversation starters. 1.2515 0.04137 167 133 26 8
2103 I have an elevator phobia 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
2104 Works great...as long as you avoid doorways. 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
2105 Traffic above the FDR was crazy this morning. 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
2106 They laughed when I said I was an early adopter. Well who’s laughing now? 1.2515 0.04071 171 136 27 8
2107 Faster than a speeding Uber. More powerful than a locomotive Lyft. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
2108 Suspenders make you look old-fashioned, Dude. 1.2515 0.03624 171 131 37 3
2109 ...and, they're a great way to keep cool on those hot summer days. 1.2515 0.04237 171 138 23 10
2110 Sorry, I didn't mean to drone on like that. 1.2515 0.03809 171 133 33 5
2111 I wish I'd double-checked the auto-correct. 1.2515 0.03986 171 135 29 7
2112 The problem is with number two. 1.2514 0.04248 175 142 22 11
2113 Oh these? They are the new Google suspenders. 1.2514 0.03869 179 141 31 7
2114 But it’s not so cool when the batteries run out. 1.2514 0.03703 179 139 35 5
2115 It's called the Wedgie 3000. 1.2514 0.03968 183 146 28 9
2116 And above all, on a hot day it's pretty cool. 1.2514 0.03968 183 146 28 9
2117 Do you need a lift? 1.2513 0.03683 187 146 35 6
2118 Yeah they’re cool, but the insurance is a real bitch. 1.2500 0.04200 168 135 24 9
2119 They are cheaper than a taxi or Uber. 1.2500 0.04027 168 133 28 7
2120 And the best part is, no more stinking elevators. 1.2500 0.04159 160 127 26 7
2121 A little bird do-do, yes. Still better than the subway. 1.2500 0.04352 144 114 24 6
2122 They hold my pants up and take selfies at the same time 1.2500 0.04063 160 126 28 6
2123 Do you have any idea what those suspenders say about you as a person? 1.2500 0.04421 156 126 21 9
2124 Just in case my patent isn't approved, I still wear a belt 1.2500 0.04326 156 125 23 8
2125 Psst—prison break at noon—pass it on. 1.2500 0.03807 164 127 33 4
2126 I used to keep my pants up with Viagra 1.2500 0.04302 176 144 20 12
2127 How’d you know my kids bought my suspenders from the SkyMall catalog? 1.2500 0.04050 172 137 27 8
2128 You should see the rover that ties my shoes. 1.2500 0.04133 172 138 25 9
2129 Not great if you're trying to conceive. 1.2500 0.04239 144 113 26 5
2130 Hello son, your Mom and Dad would like a Word. 1.2500 0.04878 144 119 14 11
2131 I could drone on and on, but to put it simply: I'm not a belt-and-suspenders guy. 1.2500 0.04303 152 121 24 7
2132 Suspenders are a young man's game. 1.2500 0.04352 144 114 24 6
2133 The trouble with suspenders was they always looked so dated 1.2500 0.04133 172 138 25 9
2134 Go ahead and stay in the 20th century for all I care! 1.2500 0.04433 160 130 20 10
2135 I still don't trust mine off-leash." 1.2500 0.04357 164 133 21 10
2136 I have to keep heavy objects in my pockets to avoid sudden unwanted lift-offs. 1.2500 0.04610 132 105 21 6
2137 It's pretty obvious that your love has not lifted me higher, thus the drones. 1.2500 0.03999 164 129 29 6
2138 I love your braces—so retro! 1.2500 0.03763 152 116 34 2
2139 ...and I never have to worry about sinkholes. 1.2500 0.03906 176 139 30 7
2140 It' a an all-purpose life saver: holds up my pants; provides cooling when i need it; lets me see what's behind me; scares off muggers; receives messages; and would you believe it, it's great for picking up chicks. 1.2500 0.04182 164 131 25 8
2141 Which Black Mirror episode is this? 1.2500 0.04604 156 128 17 11
2142 I'm not 'as fast as a speeding bullet', but I can 'leap the tallest buildings'. 1.2500 0.04326 156 125 23 8
2143 “These drone suspenders will have you walking on air.” 1.2500 0.03965 172 136 29 7
2144 My package needs extra tech support. 1.2500 0.04685 148 121 17 10
2145 But what if you need to use your shoulders for something? 1.2500 0.04344 160 129 22 9
2146 When are you upgrading to smartsuspenders? 1.2500 0.04133 172 138 25 9
2147 Buy one for $19.99 and get the second one for free. 1.2487 0.03676 193 152 34 7
2148 A belt, braces? So 1990’s 1.2486 0.04004 185 149 26 10
2149 They found me, fell in love with me, and won’t leave. 1.2486 0.03618 185 144 36 5
2150 You’d think the Government would have bigger things to worry about. 1.2486 0.04064 181 146 25 10
2151 Did you order an Uber Hug? 1.2486 0.04285 181 149 19 13
2152 I know why the caged drones sing. 1.2486 0.03887 177 140 30 7
2153 Batteries haven't run out, why do you ask? 1.2486 0.03969 177 141 28 8
2154 Dude, I’m taking belts and suspenders to a whole new level. 1.2486 0.04127 177 143 24 10
2155 I'm so cool, my suspenders have suspenders. 1.2486 0.03969 177 141 28 8
2156 Believe me, it's a great way to pick up chicks. 1.2486 0.03887 177 140 30 7
2157 Sure it looks ridiculous, but I am saving a fortune in cab fare. 1.2486 0.04029 173 138 27 8
2158 You’re telling me you still use a belt to hold up your pants? 1.2486 0.04193 173 140 23 10
2159 I have the Belts and Suspenders upgrade from Amazon Prime - the delivery and operation all-in-one package. 1.2486 0.03859 173 136 31 6
2160 Hey Todd, remember when you gave me a wedgie in 5th grade? 1.2485 0.03917 169 133 30 6
2161 The Space Force’s new uniforms come with these cool suspenders. 1.2485 0.04178 169 136 24 9
2162 I'll drop you anywhere. 1.2485 0.03826 169 132 32 5
2163 It’s gonna be hell when their batteries die. 1.2485 0.04006 169 134 28 7
2164 It's easier than finding a belt I like 1.2485 0.03978 165 130 29 6
2165 It's a win-win for lawyers - stay in fashion and create more accidents" 1.2485 0.04159 165 132 25 8
2166 Get with it, Bud. Fairy godmothers are so last-century. 1.2485 0.03688 165 127 35 3
2167 Women will never look at you the same again! 1.2485 0.03884 165 129 31 5
2168 I got my suspension lifted. 1.2485 0.03884 165 129 31 5
2169 Suspenders always look so dorky! 1.2485 0.03978 165 130 29 6
2170 This personal space surveillance technology works great, but there are a few challenges with it on the MTA. 1.2484 0.04136 161 128 26 7
2171 It was a steal but it's a sixth floor walk up. 1.2484 0.04319 161 130 22 9
2172 They're the Uber of suspenders 1.2484 0.04319 161 130 22 9
2173 The concept is highly uplifting! 1.2484 0.04319 161 130 22 9
2174 Dude, suspenders are so passé 1.2484 0.04136 161 128 26 7
2175 Need I repeat? You, me and everyone are under government surveillance! They are everywhere!! Can you not see what I'm talking about? 1.2484 0.03797 157 121 33 3
2176 Suspenders are so last year. 1.2484 0.04006 157 123 29 5
2177 How do you like my new Hammacher Schlemmer belt? 1.2484 0.04301 157 126 23 8
2178 Hi. I'm new here. 1.2484 0.04278 153 122 24 7
2179 This new look is really going to take off! 1.2484 0.04072 153 120 28 5
2180 I couldn't find my belt. 1.2484 0.04278 153 122 24 7
2181 Is my fly showing? 1.2484 0.04377 153 123 22 8
2182 Listen to me drone on. 1.2484 0.04570 153 125 18 10
2183 As seen on SharkTank. 1.2484 0.04176 153 121 26 6
2184 Well Dave, the hum is annoying, but fashion stops for no man. 1.2483 0.04141 149 117 27 5
2185 Hey, I like your retro look! 1.2483 0.04030 149 116 29 4
2186 I hate to drone on and on but... 1.2483 0.04354 149 119 23 7
2187 I was so embarrassed by my old-school dad and his suspenders. No way I was going to end up like that. 1.2483 0.04213 145 114 26 5
2188 It's 2018 Jeff! Impractical or not, THIS is fashion. 1.2482 0.04738 141 115 17 9
2189 It's only been a problem when they won't land. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
2190 These Uber-Drones are fantastic! But I do miss the conversations. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
2191 ...and then you tug on these depending on how closely cropped you want your hair 1.2474 0.03585 194 152 36 6
2192 It's my new start up, up and away. 1.2473 0.03812 182 144 31 7
2193 I call the left one belt and the right one suspenders. 1.2471 0.03839 174 137 31 6
2194 They’re called braces, by the way, not suspenders. 1.2471 0.03752 174 136 33 5
2195 I’m bi-dronal, it’s a thing. 1.2471 0.03925 174 138 29 7
2196 Remember when belt and suspenders was enough? 1.2471 0.04171 174 141 23 10
2197 I didn’t get a five-star rating by dropping anyone. 1.2471 0.04091 174 140 25 9
2198 I finally got the hang of this “selfie” thing. 1.2471 0.04071 170 136 26 8
2199 I don't know what they do either, but they're a sure fire chick-magnet. 1.2470 0.03767 166 129 33 4
2200 They're ok but on a windy day talk about 'restricted airspace'. 1.2470 0.04137 166 133 25 8
2201 My trainer told me to record my diet and exercise habits. 1.2470 0.04224 166 134 23 9
2202 You look ridiculous, still wearing suspenders? 1.2469 0.04384 162 132 20 10
2203 And it's all hooked up with bluetooth, so you just need to say: Alexa, pick my wedgie. 1.2469 0.04113 162 129 26 7
2204 I get the skepticism, but ultimately I'm a big fan 1.2468 0.04182 158 126 25 7
2205 Brother, can you spare a charge? 1.2468 0.03984 158 124 29 5
2206 This is not your father's belt and suspenders... 1.2468 0.04182 158 126 25 7
2207 I love the modern look apart for the occasional wedgie 1.2468 0.04370 158 128 21 9
2208 They're less intrusive than a divorce. 1.2468 0.04448 154 125 20 9
2209 Dude, it's just suspended animation. 1.2466 0.04407 146 117 22 7
2210 Double-drone suspension! It will navigate you through your toughest days. Trust me, it won't let you down. 1.2466 0.04188 146 115 26 5
2211 It's a must have to avoid all those annoying folks on motorized scooters and skateboards. 1.2466 0.04188 146 115 26 5
2212 These new and improved e-suspenders add detail to my outfit and can be adjusted via an app 1.2465 0.04600 142 115 19 8
2213 My venture-backed tech startup is disrupting the belt industry. Name's Chad. Great to meet you. 1.2465 0.04490 142 114 21 7
2214 I thought the job was for a dog-walker 1.2465 0.04378 142 113 23 6
2215 They can do up my zipper, too! 1.2465 0.04490 142 114 21 7
2216 I got the pants from Amazon, and they're still in the trial period. 1.2465 0.04378 142 113 23 6
2217 I use the one on the left to keep an eye on the other one. 1.2462 0.03714 195 155 32 8
2218 I got the idea researching new treatments for ED. 1.2461 0.03837 191 153 29 9
2219 Special delivery! 1.2460 0.03892 187 150 28 9
2220 Apparently they repel elephants - it seems to work. 1.2459 0.03632 183 143 35 5
2221 The one on the right tells me what my left side is doing, and the one on the left tells me what my right side is doing. Amazing invention. 1.2458 0.04236 179 147 20 12
2222 Sure they keep your pants up, but can they make you 10 pounds lighter? 1.2458 0.04008 179 144 26 9
2223 Suspenders and belt? Old hat! 1.2457 0.04228 175 143 21 11
2224 They're army surplus---another example of government waist. 1.2457 0.04070 175 141 25 9
2225 ....and Whooooooosh, they’re on! 1.2456 0.03876 171 135 30 6
2226 Getting a new perspective on life is easier than I thought. 1.2456 0.03695 171 133 34 4
2227 How quaint. 1.2456 0.03964 171 136 28 7
2228 It's for my kid's science fair. He's calling it Tech Weggie 2.0. 1.2456 0.04050 171 137 26 8
2229 Who's going to notify you when your zipper's down? 1.2455 0.04115 167 134 25 8
2230 Not if I see you first. 1.2455 0.04452 167 138 17 12
2231 Brace yourself for me to drone on and on. 1.2455 0.04532 167 139 15 13
2232 Hello, I'm your new window washer. 1.2455 0.03935 167 132 29 6
2233 I'm just a regular schmoe like everyone else, I put my trousers on, one leg at a time, aided by my trusty trouser-drones. 1.2454 0.04091 163 130 26 7
2234 Hi, I'm your wife's new husband. 1.2454 0.04091 163 130 26 7
2235 I used to be self conscious, but the breeze is worth it. 1.2454 0.03997 163 129 28 6
2236 What are those??!! 1.2454 0.04182 163 131 24 8
2237 Typical Larry, droning on and on. 1.2454 0.04272 163 132 22 9
2238 And they really help on visits to friends in walk up apartments. 1.2454 0.04182 163 131 24 8
2239 It’s just Amazon Prime delivering my suspenders. The underwear delivery may be a little embarrassing. 1.2454 0.04272 163 132 22 9
2240 I’ll take the high road. 1.2454 0.03997 163 129 28 6
2241 Commuting from Brooklyn is a lot more fun. 1.2453 0.04061 159 126 27 6
2242 They promised us flying cars. 1.2453 0.04253 159 128 23 8
2243 And he droned on and on.... 1.2453 0.04061 159 126 27 6
2244 Yeah, I used to be a suspenders guy too, that was before I came to grips with the 21st century. 1.2453 0.04253 159 128 23 8
2245 It's called Drone Dating. It's free with your Amazon Prime membership. Do you want me to land somewhere else? 1.2452 0.04327 155 125 22 8
2246 Somebody has to provide oversight on this president. 1.2452 0.04229 155 124 24 7
2247 Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, your opinion man. 1.2452 0.04026 155 122 28 5
2248 Think the Jetsons meets an atomic wedgie. 1.2452 0.04128 155 123 26 6
2249 At first I had to deal with a wedgie, but a little duct tape fixed that issue. 1.2452 0.04327 155 125 22 8
2250 Believe me. No one will bother you with one of these. 1.2452 0.04698 155 129 14 12
2251 Say what you will about the military industrial complex, it's been great for wearable tech! 1.2452 0.04128 155 123 26 6
2252 Quick! The batteries! 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
2253 I call it, "The Smart Belt" 1.2450 0.04503 151 123 19 9
2254 Hello! Amazon needs feedback on it's new 'EZ Commute' product. Would you care to test ride? 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
2255 This new technology has me in suspense. 1.2450 0.04303 151 121 23 7
2256 What's a belt? 1.2450 0.04600 151 124 17 10
2257 As long as the batteries hold out they feel a lot more like 'suspenders.' 1.2450 0.04092 151 119 27 5
2258 My wife thought this was cheaper than a private detective. 1.2449 0.04381 147 118 22 7
2259 What's it to you if I'm a hovering parent? My kid has the remote. 1.2449 0.04273 147 117 24 6
2260 Drone on! 1.2449 0.04162 147 116 26 5
2261 They're my comfort drones! 1.2448 0.03890 192 155 27 10
2262 My new 'DroneSpenders' cut my commute time in half! 1.2446 0.04432 139 111 22 6
2263 Drone suspenders. Jet packs are passé. 1.2446 0.04221 184 152 19 13
2264 Fashion comes in cycles. 1.2446 0.03696 184 145 33 6
2265 It's really about disrupting the I-see-London-I-see-France space, but also it just looks cool. 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
2266 The pants came for free. 1.2443 0.03714 176 138 33 5
2267 Welcome to my fan club. 1.2443 0.04128 176 143 23 10
2268 They're Kegel controlled. 1.2443 0.04206 176 144 21 11
2269 They cut my commute time in half 1.2442 0.03767 172 135 32 5
2270 The technology might change, but wedgies will never go out of style. 1.2442 0.03857 172 136 30 6
2271 No adjustments, and no shoulder pain. 1.2442 0.03857 172 136 30 6
2272 I'm Amazon's new delivery system. 1.2440 0.04179 168 136 23 9
2273 I believe you ordered the downtown helicopter tour on Fiver? Hope you don’t mind but not all services will be available on this flight. Go ahead and take my hand and we’ll be on our way... 1.2440 0.04346 168 138 19 11
2274 So what was I supposed to do after they took away all the phone booths? 1.2440 0.04005 168 134 27 7
2275 If you fall , it'll be recorded " 1.2440 0.03477 209 165 37 7
2276 Your suspenders are so old fashioned. 1.2439 0.03975 164 130 28 6
2277 A belt and suspenders approach just isn't going to cut it in this economy anymore. 1.2439 0.04335 164 134 20 10
2278 Ten years from now, no one will be using suspenders anymore. 1.2439 0.03880 164 129 30 5
2279 Just had to get them out of the house, you know? 1.2439 0.03975 164 130 28 6
2280 I know I know my wife said this will help me keep my pants on 1.2439 0.04068 164 131 26 7
2281 Constant selfies record the reality of my remarkable life. 1.2437 0.04411 160 131 19 10
2282 The witness protection folks insisted on this. 1.2437 0.04039 160 127 27 6
2283 We are piloting Same Day Delivery in New Jersey, but the bridge is a nightmare 1.2437 0.03940 160 126 29 5
2284 Here’s the elevator pitch: “It’s Uber...for pants.” 1.2436 0.04302 156 126 22 8
2285 It's not going to look so stupid when they shut down my subway line for a year! 1.2436 0.04003 156 123 28 5
2286 I'm telling you, Wilbur, this will work! 1.2436 0.04204 156 125 24 7
2287 Kites were too impractical. 1.2434 0.04277 152 122 23 7
2288 Suspend your disbelief 1.2434 0.04476 152 124 19 9
2289 What's the matter, never seen a guy giving himself a wedgie? 1.2432 0.04660 148 122 16 10
2290 I’m sorry if I seem to be droning on. 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
2291 People always tell me I drone on and on. 1.2432 0.04247 148 118 24 6
2292 ...one is okay, this is more like belt and suspendrones. 1.2432 0.03911 185 149 27 9
2293 And then he said "If you build it, they will come." 1.2432 0.03757 185 147 31 7
2294 Bid me slip the surly bonds of earth... 1.2431 0.03729 181 143 32 6
2295 No more saggy pants. Guess where I have the controller. 1.2431 0.03810 181 144 30 7
2296 Well, drones have the element of suspense. 1.2431 0.03810 181 144 30 7
2297 ...able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! 1.2431 0.03729 181 143 32 6
2298 It's not for everyone. Have you considered a belt? 1.2431 0.04210 144 114 25 5
2299 I gotta run. Need to recharge. 1.2429 0.03782 177 140 31 6
2300 Suspenders? They've gone the way of the flip phone. 1.2429 0.03866 177 141 29 7
2301 Airspenders! Get with it Dude! 1.2429 0.03608 177 138 35 4
2302 Superior suspension, with almost negligible wedgie risk. 1.2429 0.03696 177 139 33 5
2303 We call it "The Game of Drones!" 1.2429 0.04404 140 112 22 6
2304 My fly will never stay open again. 1.2428 0.03657 173 135 34 4
2305 I'm telling you, spywear is really going to take off. 1.2428 0.04252 173 142 20 11
2306 I lost my damn belt, is that a problem for you? 1.2426 0.03984 169 135 27 7
2307 I used to be a belt-and-suspenders kind of guy, like you. But no more! 1.2426 0.04157 169 137 23 9
2308 Impractical? Spendy? True, but oh so chic. 1.2426 0.03894 169 134 29 6
2309 It's cheaper than paying for parking! 1.2426 0.03803 169 133 31 5
2310 You're next. Lift off is easy. It's getting into Superman position that's difficult. 1.2426 0.03894 169 134 29 6
2311 Its an Uber subsidiary. Later dude. 1.2424 0.03859 165 130 30 5
2312 Well, these are Amazon Prime suspenders. 1.2424 0.04312 165 135 20 10
2313 They're super comfortable, as long as you wear the recommended wedgie-proof pants. 1.2422 0.04205 161 130 23 8
2314 Sure, your pants don't fall down, but how do you keep your social status up? 1.2422 0.04205 161 130 23 8
2315 You wouldn’t believe the mileage I’m getting on these things. 1.2422 0.04016 161 128 27 6
2316 I've had it with helicopters to the Hamptons. 1.2422 0.04297 161 131 21 9
2317 Go ahead, Mug me. 1.2420 0.04082 157 125 26 6
2318 My pants have never been so secure. 1.2420 0.04082 157 125 26 6
2319 In an emergency I can summon my pants. 1.2420 0.04082 157 125 26 6
2320 My mom likes to know what I am doing at all times. 1.2420 0.04277 157 127 22 8
2321 It's my new "Traffic Beater" belt attachment from Sharper Image. 1.2419 0.03816 186 149 29 8
2322 To hold my pants up! Get it? 1.2419 0.03816 186 149 29 8
2323 We're in stealth mode. 1.2419 0.03966 186 151 25 10
2324 You’re in luck! I just got 2.3 billion dollars from venture capitalists to solve the Suspender Crisis. 1.2418 0.04045 153 121 27 5
2325 Bro you don't have drone-suspenders yet? Get with it. 1.2418 0.04352 153 124 21 8
2326 Unmanned Aerial Suspenders, check me out on Kickstarter... 1.2418 0.04252 153 123 23 7
2327 They actually don't tell time. 1.2418 0.04450 153 125 19 9
2328 After being diagnosed with cell phone addiction, I quit cold turkey, and went with these. 1.2418 0.03949 182 147 26 9
2329 Buy one get one at Sky Mall. 1.2418 0.04025 182 148 24 10
2330 All is fine until the drones come down. 1.2416 0.04113 149 118 26 5
2331 The Russians designed them for Larry King. 1.2416 0.04328 149 120 22 7
2332 No shedding, no kitty litter, no doggy bags. Plus, they hold my pants up. 1.2416 0.04222 149 119 24 6
2333 And, the fans keep you cool. 1.2416 0.03678 178 140 33 5
2334 Only two days with Amazon Prime. 1.2414 0.04407 145 117 21 7
2335 Spare change for double A's? 1.2414 0.03817 174 138 30 6
2336 What’s so funny? Two eyes, two ears, two drones. 1.2414 0.04297 145 116 23 6
2337 Sure they're autonomous, but they ride up like crazy. 1.2412 0.03874 170 135 29 6
2338 You haven’t seen a joystick around, have you? 1.2412 0.03783 170 134 31 5
2339 Wait til you see the belt I’ve ordered. 1.2412 0.04049 170 137 25 8
2340 My doctor told me losing weight would help keep my knees from hurting. 1.2411 0.04259 141 112 24 5
2341 Don't tell me, you have a Blackberry too. 1.2411 0.04376 141 113 22 6
2342 Suspends your disbelief, doesn't it? 1.2411 0.04490 141 114 20 7
2343 And then I don't have to wash my hands because these pull up my pants for me. 1.2410 0.04202 166 135 22 9
2344 Four of these and I run into a passenger jet, three I tip over, two are just right! 1.2410 0.03742 166 130 32 4
2345 I remember you. Your ex-wife hired me awhile back. 1.2410 0.04202 166 135 22 9
2346 Actually, it's kind of fun, but they sometimes leave me places I didn't want to go. 1.2410 0.04024 166 133 26 7
2347 I call them “suspended suspenders” 1.2410 0.04024 166 133 26 7
2348 I have a sneaking suspicion the government is watching. 1.2410 0.04202 166 135 22 9
2349 There's more intense range anxiety than you get in an electric car. 1.2410 0.04202 166 135 22 9
2350 The ladies love them. 1.2407 0.04089 162 130 25 7
2351 Who dressed you...your Mom?! 1.2407 0.03994 162 129 27 6
2352 Can I buy those? I collect 1.0s. 1.2407 0.04361 162 133 19 10
2353 Only $1599.99 on suspndr.com, but the 45-minute battery costs a bit more. 1.2407 0.04089 162 130 25 7
2354 The suspense is just about killing me. 1.2405 0.04253 158 128 22 8
2355 I could talk forever about them, so don't let me drone on. 1.2405 0.03958 158 125 28 5
2356 The guy could drone on for hours 1.2405 0.04528 158 131 16 11
2357 These aren't your grandpa's suspenders! 1.2405 0.04059 158 126 26 6
2358 ...and no more sore shoulders. 1.2405 0.03958 158 125 28 5
2359 Of course suspenders would be more convenient. But would they be as cool as this? 1.2404 0.03773 183 146 30 7
2360 Our policy at Over is that you tip and rate us right before drop off. 1.2403 0.04424 154 126 19 9
2361 Welcome to Amazon Direct Temporary Labor 1.2403 0.04126 154 123 25 6
2362 Look... it's simple... I go up, I take a look and I come down. 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
2363 "It's $1 to unlock then $0.15/min, each." 1.2403 0.04519 154 127 17 10
2364 You need the Air Lyft app. 1.2403 0.04228 154 124 23 7
2365 Aerial suspenders are uplifting. 1.2403 0.04126 154 123 25 6
2366 you got any spare batteries? 1.2402 0.03827 179 143 29 7
2367 My wife no longer drones on about plumber’s butt. 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
2368 Everybody needs a lift once in a while. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
2369 Wow, these things really make my pants vibrate! 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
2370 Sorry, I tend to drone on. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
2371 Belts are so yesterday. 1.2400 0.04197 150 120 24 6
2372 Drone delivery sounds great but returns will get you. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
2373 The future is now suspended. 1.2398 0.04277 171 141 19 11
2374 Yeah, but my shoulders don't get tired. 1.2398 0.03942 171 137 27 7
2375 They're called suspenders for a reason. 1.2397 0.04486 146 119 19 8
2376 Suspenders for millennials. 1.2397 0.04271 146 117 23 6
2377 It's called the iBelt. There really is nothing Apple can't do! 1.2395 0.04092 167 135 24 8
2378 The problem is I can only wear them without a jacket “ 1.2395 0.04092 167 135 24 8
2379 What happens when you want to go to the bathroom? 1.2395 0.04431 167 139 16 12
2380 Eventually the "belt and suspenders" approach wasn't enough for me. 1.2395 0.04179 167 136 22 9
2381 Women say I'm self-involved and unapproachable, but I don't see it. I'm a regular guy like you, Jack. 1.2395 0.04179 167 136 22 9
2382 I just don't think we're compatible. I mean, how am I supposed to follow you? You don't even live stream. 1.2394 0.03854 188 152 27 9
2383 Nope, same old Jerry, but the 'fro had to go. 1.2394 0.03999 188 154 23 11
2384 You always said I droned on and on! 1.2393 0.04159 163 132 23 8
2385 No, it's not that tough in the bathroom - but a little advance planning sure helps. 1.2393 0.03777 163 128 31 4
2386 I see you went with the Bluetooth model. 1.2393 0.03777 163 128 31 4
2387 I am back in the jeans I wore in college 1.2393 0.03972 163 130 27 6
2388 Yes, they were made in China. How did you know? 1.2393 0.04249 163 133 21 9
2389 Sorry to drone on like that. 1.2393 0.04249 163 133 21 9
2390 We here at the MTA will never stop working on solutions. 1.2393 0.03972 163 130 27 6
2391 Is safer than Uber... 1.2393 0.03972 163 130 27 6
2392 I'm trying out for Amazon Man. 1.2393 0.04067 163 131 25 7
2393 I'm actually doing a study on wedgie tolerance. 1.2391 0.03910 184 149 26 9
2394 Remember when pants just fit? 1.2390 0.03833 159 125 30 4
2395 Attach 'em to your hips and no wedgies, guaranteed. 1.2390 0.03936 159 126 28 5
2396 These suspenders were costly but totally worth it, which is a ton of weight off my shoulders. 1.2389 0.03808 180 144 29 7
2397 I just wanted to elevate my suspender game. 1.2387 0.04398 155 127 19 9
2398 You can return me. But judging from the battery life you're going to have to give me cab fare. 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
2399 As long as you don't have to use the bathroom, these things are like magic. 1.2387 0.03999 155 123 27 5
2400 Elevators are a relic of the past if you can deal with a wedgie. 1.2387 0.03671 155 120 33 2
2401 It also keeps most people from approaching me which really helps my crippling social anxiety 1.2387 0.04102 155 124 25 6
2402 I'm taking a really cheap flight to Miami! 1.2387 0.04102 155 124 25 6
2403 Wait until you see what I'm using for underwear 1.2387 0.04302 155 126 21 8
2404 Heading home? I'll give you a lift. 1.2387 0.04203 155 125 23 7
2405 Things go south when I let my son control them. 1.2387 0.04102 155 124 25 6
2406 I know Droning-On is a lousy air taxi name, but Lyft was aleady taken. 1.2386 0.03864 176 141 28 7
2407 Gotta fly. 1.2386 0.03779 176 140 30 6
2408 Trust me, in a few years, everyone will be wearing them. 1.2386 0.03947 176 142 26 8
2409 I got this and ten other permutations patented. The next time somebody mentions drone and underwear together, BAM! I sue and we settle. 1.2386 0.03864 176 141 28 7
2410 Amazon is hiring seasonal workers 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
2411 This is the latest from Sansabelt. 1.2384 0.04276 151 122 22 7
2412 A few ladies' hats in church, but that's only on Easter. 1.2384 0.03954 151 119 28 4
2413 I don't know why people say that I drone on and on about the new suspenders I invented! 1.2384 0.04378 151 123 20 8
2414 It's about time you upgraded, you look ridiculous 1.2384 0.04478 151 124 18 9
2415 I'm elevating the "selfie" to a whole new level. 1.2384 0.03744 172 136 31 5
2416 I'm a chippendale dancer. A party on the Northside ordered me. 1.2384 0.04091 172 140 23 9
2417 And they're hands free and drip dry! 1.2381 0.03686 189 151 31 7
2418 He droned on and on about constantly feeling watched! 1.2381 0.04242 168 138 20 10
2419 I've named my drones Wilber and Orville 1.2381 0.03891 168 134 28 6
2420 Uber is testing out a new drone taxi service - it’s called the “drone drop”. 1.2381 0.03901 147 115 29 3
2421 Then it came to me: Why not have a pair of drones hold up my pants? 1.2381 0.04242 168 138 20 10
2422 Could not find my suspenders this morning. 1.2381 0.03982 168 135 26 7
2423 I've only got the fuel to catch the last three innings, but hell, the view is great, and decent Yankees-Red Sox tickets cost at least 500 bucks. 1.2381 0.04459 147 120 19 8
2424 I told you you’d have two suspender disbelief. 1.2381 0.04562 147 121 17 9
2425 Fly? No, no. It's to ward off mosquitos. 1.2381 0.03703 168 132 32 4
2426 Admit it: men's fashion was ripe for disruption. 1.2381 0.04070 168 136 24 8
2427 My wife is keeping track of my spending. . . 1.2378 0.04044 164 132 25 7
2428 My wife got tired of calling to ask when I'd be home... 1.2378 0.04313 164 135 19 10
2429 It’s a tech wedgie. 1.2378 0.04044 164 132 25 7
2430 It's safer than walking around here. 1.2378 0.04225 164 134 21 9
2431 My suspenders are more fly than yours 1.2378 0.04136 164 133 23 8
2432 Hey, everythings remote controlled, you feel 10 pounds lighter, and theres no more grandpa look! 1.2378 0.04044 164 132 25 7
2433 "Big deal. You wear a cup." 1.2378 0.04136 164 133 23 8
2434 Google doesn't hire me? I go straight to Apple Maps. 1.2378 0.04044 164 132 25 7
2435 A little expensive to hold my pants up, but it works. 1.2378 0.04321 143 115 22 6
2436 No, actually it's quite comfortable and in addition to holding up my adult diaper, my wife can keep track of me. 1.2378 0.04543 143 117 18 8
2437 Selfie drones are the new selfie sticks. 1.2376 0.03870 181 146 27 8
2438 Yes, it was a buy-one-get-one-free deal 1.2376 0.03948 181 147 25 9
2439 These new suspenders really deliver. 1.2376 0.03870 181 146 27 8
2440 I'd say it's worth paying 526 times more to look this cool. 1.2375 0.04205 160 130 22 8
2441 Your suspenders may be more practical but this is far more innovative. 1.2375 0.04297 160 131 20 9
2442 Better than the foil hat? 1.2375 0.04205 160 130 22 8
2443 What's all the buzz about? The suspense is killing me. 1.2375 0.04205 160 130 22 8
2444 and free delivery saves me tons in carfare! 1.2375 0.03708 160 125 32 3
2445 The suspenders really hurt my shoulders 1.2375 0.04205 160 130 22 8
2446 Yeah, we’ll this is how we do hold ups now. Give me your spare batteries or you’ll be getting a reverse Mohawk. 1.2374 0.04744 139 115 15 9
2447 Of course, everybody has to pull in the same direction 1.2373 0.04008 177 144 24 9
2448 Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. 1.2373 0.04087 177 145 22 10
2449 Surveillpance, by Abercrombie. 1.2372 0.04372 156 128 19 9
2450 I find it helpful in relieving the tension in my shoulders, or I could just wear a belt. 1.2372 0.03976 156 124 27 5
2451 Other than the surprise haircuts, facial nicks, and low-battery-anxiety, this is the best damn thing since shoelaces.com! 1.2372 0.04372 156 128 19 9
2452 They will never let you down. 1.2372 0.03762 156 122 31 3
2453 I could just drone on about these new suspenders 1.2372 0.04079 156 125 25 6
2454 I'm sorry, I know that I drone on about these suspenders. 1.2372 0.04179 156 126 23 7
2455 They hold up my pants, and they deliver sushi. 1.2372 0.04277 156 127 21 8
2456 It’s a lot easier than spinning plates. 1.2372 0.04372 156 128 19 9
2457 In the olden days I would wear a belt and suspenders. 1.2372 0.04179 156 126 23 7
2458 "And, I said, 'to hold my pants up.' Get it?" 1.2372 0.03871 156 123 29 4
2459 They keep my pants up, but are impossible to manage appropriately in the restroom. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
2460 Yah, so then I called Lyft 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
2461 My suspenders broke. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
2462 This way I can get a tan and record selfies while flying to work. 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
2463 Dude, how do you expect to attract women, when you wear old fashion suspenders? 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
2464 latest advance in suspender technology, except for the occasional wedgie they seem to work well. 1.2370 0.03901 173 139 27 7
2465 Belts AND suspenders are now old school... 1.2370 0.03986 173 140 25 8
2466 Don't worry, they don't bite! They do sever, though. 1.2370 0.03901 173 139 27 7
2467 One leg at a time just isn't good enough anymore 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
2468 Pay up, I made through the whole week. 1.2368 0.03818 190 154 27 9
2469 Smartpants - the new smartphones! 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
2470 Suspendrones. 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
2471 The best part is not even needing to wear a belt anymore. 1.2368 0.04147 152 122 24 6
2472 Since they fixed the wedgie glitch there have been zero fatalities! 1.2368 0.04251 152 123 22 7
2473 I win this round -- both stylish and functional! 1.2367 0.03870 169 135 28 6
2474 These Amazon drone deliveries are so convenient, they even put on the suspenders that I ordered. 1.2367 0.04048 169 137 24 8
2475 I can get downtown in five minutes if we don't crash. 1.2367 0.03870 169 135 28 6
2476 The Auto Wedgie is the perfect solution for the busy bully. 1.2367 0.03960 169 136 26 7
2477 You can’t be too careful in the “Me Too” age 1.2366 0.04576 131 106 19 6
2478 Second mortgage aside, the salesman assured me these will pay for themselves in belt savings alone 1.2365 0.03995 148 117 27 4
2479 I don't know, they just showed up. 1.2364 0.04289 165 136 19 10
2480 'Aero Suspend' is the postmodern way to keep your pants up. 1.2364 0.03834 165 131 29 5
2481 And best of all... I don’t need a belt anymore! 1.2364 0.03929 165 132 27 6
2482 If you ain't drone, you ain't grown, yo! 1.2364 0.03929 165 132 27 6
2483 Screw the ""Golden Parachute" paradigm, I have drone suspenders. 1.2363 0.03850 182 147 27 8
2484 It plays well with my millennial audience. 1.2361 0.04294 144 116 22 6
2485 Because suspenders are SO last year! 1.2360 0.03987 178 145 24 9
2486 Cheaper than a defense attorney! 1.2360 0.03741 178 142 30 6
2487 I'm just saying, those suspenders are so last year... 1.2360 0.03741 178 142 30 6
2488 I'd like to give you a lift, but the twins don't pick up strangers! 1.2357 0.03849 157 124 29 4
2489 Suspenders are basic, Steven. 1.2357 0.03630 157 122 33 2
2490 Suspenders are so last century 1.2357 0.04252 157 128 21 8
2491 Step back, I’m close to lift off! 1.2357 0.03741 157 123 31 3
2492 You're saying I drone on and on? 1.2356 0.04130 174 143 21 10
2493 The battery life can be a letdown. 1.2356 0.03881 174 140 27 7
2494 LOOK, no suspenders! 1.2356 0.04049 174 142 23 9
2495 I've been having a little trouble staying faithful to the wife. 1.2356 0.04130 174 143 21 10
2496 ...cheaper than Uber X - it's Uber W, for wedgie. 1.2356 0.03727 191 154 29 8
2497 The future really isn’t holding up. 1.2353 0.04017 153 122 26 5
2498 I see you're still buying your suspenders at the suspender store. 1.2353 0.03778 187 151 28 8
2499 It's like Uber, but with drones. You don't have to worry about traffic either. 1.2353 0.04326 153 125 20 8
2500 They also suspend belief in modern technology. 1.2353 0.03927 187 153 24 10
2501 Finally you can literally say I drone on. 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
2502 I never get pickpocketed. 1.2353 0.03563 153 118 34 1
2503 My pants have never felt more secure. 1.2349 0.04266 166 137 19 10
2504 What makes you think I escaped from somewhere? 1.2349 0.03908 166 133 27 6
2505 They are cheaper than the Brooks Brothers' suspenders. 1.2349 0.04266 166 137 19 10
2506 Yes, when the batteries run out everything falls down! 1.2349 0.03908 166 133 27 6
2507 No more of this ‘the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing’ business 1.2349 0.03908 166 133 27 6
2508 Think of the selfies I get. 1.2349 0.04001 166 134 25 7
2509 Are you just going to stand there and drone on...and on? 1.2349 0.04404 149 122 19 8
2510 Once programmed to your body's specifications, these drones make sore feet a thing of the past. 1.2349 0.04193 149 120 23 6
2511 I have a request you needed a lift. 1.2349 0.03971 149 118 27 4
2512 I don't mean to drone on, how have you been? 1.2349 0.04404 149 122 19 8
2513 Can you direct me to Shark Tank? 1.2349 0.04193 149 120 23 6
2514 Can you believe I had to get a special license just to hold up my pants? 1.2346 0.03806 179 144 28 7
2515 No...you dialed SuperUber by mistake. Now hop on. 1.2346 0.03637 179 142 32 5
2516 It's not just suspenders; soon drones will replace every article of clothing. 1.2346 0.04158 162 132 22 8
2517 It helps to balance my perspective in life and keeps me well grounded. 1.2346 0.04158 162 132 22 8
2518 I figured a new hobby'd keep me grounded 1.2346 0.03871 162 129 28 5
2519 Fear not, we come in peace 1.2345 0.04268 145 117 22 6
2520 Finally, a belt for millenials. 1.2343 0.04028 175 143 23 9
2521 The suspense is killing me. 1.2343 0.03945 175 142 25 8
2522 You should try it! It's bracing! 1.2342 0.04032 158 127 25 6
2523 They're covered by Amazon's new 5-day return policy. 1.2342 0.03827 158 125 29 4
2524 It’s called style, and it can’t be bought. 1.2342 0.04032 158 127 25 6
2525 I just got so sick of the subway delays. 1.2340 0.03717 141 109 31 1
2526 Don’t worry, they’re trained. 1.2339 0.03646 171 135 32 4
2527 I'm not taking any chances. They start filming as soon as my underwear comes off. 1.2339 0.03919 171 138 26 7
2528 For me the big payoff was the high-res imaging of my bald spot. 1.2339 0.04006 171 139 24 8
2529 Hi, ..am recruiter from Amazon 1.2339 0.04174 171 141 20 10
2530 My wife's idea! 1.2339 0.03830 171 137 28 6
2531 I'm a beta test: Amazon Dudes. 1.2339 0.03830 171 137 28 6
2532 Come on, suspenders are so 20th century. 1.2339 0.04006 171 139 24 8
2533 Greetings. I am Amazon Man here to bid you three wishes... 1.2338 0.04301 154 126 20 8
2534 There's just no future in balloons 1.2338 0.03775 154 121 30 3
2535 Just needed an afternoon pick me up! 1.2338 0.03886 154 122 28 4
2536 Unlike yours, these hold up pants without adjustment, and you'll instantly weigh less. 1.2337 0.03572 184 146 33 5
2537 I’ve been known to drone on... 1.2337 0.03813 184 149 27 8
2538 You may pet them if you want 1.2335 0.03697 167 132 31 4
2539 Buddy, can you spare a battery? 1.2335 0.03979 167 135 25 7
2540 Yours may be functional. But mine make a statement and are a real chick-magnet. 1.2335 0.03979 167 135 25 7
2541 Dude, suspenders are so 20th century. 1.2335 0.03793 167 133 29 5
2542 I've always been light on my feet! 1.2335 0.04069 167 136 23 8
2543 I can't hear you over the drone. 1.2335 0.03887 167 134 27 6
2544 Get with it man.Those suspenders are so '20th Century'" 1.2333 0.03704 180 144 30 6
2545 Hi, I’m Bill, your Uber driver. When we say Uber, we mean UBER! 1.2333 0.04479 150 124 17 9
2546 They keep my pants up with very few civilian casualties. 1.2333 0.03619 180 143 32 5
2547 This way I can lift and separate too. 1.2333 0.04578 150 125 15 10
2548 Great to see you! Can you just move a foot toward the curb and speak up a bit? 1.2333 0.03704 180 144 30 6
2549 Touch my hand. It's faster than Uber 1.2331 0.04135 163 133 22 8
2550 We’re disrupting the suspenders paradigm. 1.2331 0.04135 163 133 22 8
2551 It's a drone shuttle, and there is plenty of legroom." 1.2331 0.04042 163 132 24 7
2552 Then the VC's showed up and the next thing you know our market cap is bigger than Tesla. 1.2331 0.03947 163 131 26 6
2553 No more belts or suspenders to hold up my pants and on hot days the fans keep me cool. 1.2330 0.03841 176 142 27 7
2554 And they cut my hair when I pee 1.2330 0.04166 176 146 19 11
2555 Parachute Pants 2.0 1.2330 0.03925 176 143 25 8
2556 They were out of balloons. 1.2329 0.04563 146 121 16 9
2557 Let's let by-drones be by-drones. 1.2329 0.04241 146 118 22 6
2558 Melania is paying for me to prototype the President's downtime pants. She don't want no downtime on the pants! 1.2329 0.04351 146 119 20 7
2559 The only way to protect your privacy is to not have any. 1.2327 0.04297 159 131 19 9
2560 I trademarked "Hip-o-drones" and "Shooting from the Hips." Now I just need a reason for them. 1.2327 0.04010 159 128 25 6
2561 ... and I dropped 50 lbs. 1.2327 0.04010 159 128 25 6
2562 I know low-rise is in, but I need the additional help. 1.2326 0.03627 172 136 32 4
2563 ...but I'm saving a fortune on suspenders and deodorant! 1.2326 0.04233 172 143 18 11
2564 At last, I've cut my commuting time by three quarters. 1.2326 0.03627 172 136 32 4
2565 I'm telling you, technology is making everything easier 1.2326 0.04233 172 143 18 11
2566 I only use the ones for socks when I wear shorts. 1.2326 0.03985 172 140 24 8
2567 Those suspenders are so retro! Goodwill? 1.2324 0.03636 185 148 31 6
2568 I know, the suspense is killing ya, huh? 1.2324 0.03636 185 148 31 6
2569 At first I also had one in the back, but it gave me a wedgie. 1.2324 0.04201 142 114 23 5
2570 I'm telling you, its gonna make belts AND suspenders obsolete.... 1.2323 0.04075 155 125 24 6
2571 .. and an AI decides when I deserve wedgie. 1.2323 0.04467 155 129 16 10
2572 Guaranteed to prevent wardrobe malfunctions from Plumbers Crack to half-time shows! 1.2323 0.04075 155 125 24 6
2573 This is so much better than that guy with the balloons and lawnchair 1.2323 0.04075 155 125 24 6
2574 Think of me as your 21st century Guardian Angel. For the introductory price of just $19.99 per month, I'll always have your back. That price assumes you've never served in Congress, disagreed with the President or been targeted by the MeToo Movement. 1.2323 0.04276 155 127 20 8
2575 And best of all, I don't have to remove my shoes. 1.2323 0.03864 155 123 28 4
2576 Can't decide: pretty fly for a white guy or Elon Musk delusional? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
2577 I've stopped drinking. Now I use these whenever I need a pick-me-up. 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
2578 I'm the accounting services you ordered. 1.2321 0.04219 168 139 19 10
2579 He drones on and on,” she said 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
2580 Buddy, can you spare a conspiracy theory? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
2581 Space Force here I come! 1.2320 0.03849 181 147 26 8
2582 Wanna try a li'l Hi Tech Wedgie? 1.2319 0.04151 138 110 24 4
2583 This style doesn’t fly everywhere. 1.2319 0.04399 138 112 20 6
2584 I won't be needing a ride from you anymore. 1.2318 0.04036 151 121 25 5
2585 New joke. Why do drone pilots wear suspenders? To keep their flies up. 1.2318 0.04249 151 123 21 7
2586 I call it suspender animation 1.2318 0.04036 151 121 25 5
2587 The new trend in pants is to be hoisted by their drone petard. 1.2317 0.03926 164 132 26 6
2588 It's the new transportation app--Ub-air. 1.2317 0.04112 164 134 22 8
2589 Its how I see beyond the pedestrian and get the big picture. 1.2317 0.04020 164 133 24 7
2590 Yes, it does get a bit snug. 1.2316 0.03561 177 140 33 4
2591 For short distances in good weather, why not? 1.2313 0.04324 147 120 20 7
2592 It's better for my shoulders. 1.2313 0.03870 147 116 28 3
2593 If they stay up my pants stay up! 1.2313 0.04431 147 121 18 8
2594 They laughed at the Wright Brothers ! 1.2313 0.03870 147 116 28 3
2595 Would you have a moment to hear about our Lord and Savior? 1.2312 0.03987 160 129 25 6
2596 It’s the 21st Century solution to plumber’s butt! 1.2312 0.03964 173 141 24 8
2597 THIS is how to dress fly 1.2312 0.03701 173 138 30 5
2598 So how are you, Ted? 1.2312 0.03878 173 140 26 7
2599 It's called a chastity belt. 1.2308 0.03749 182 147 28 7
2600 They're a brand new feature in Amazon Prime! 1.2308 0.03658 169 134 31 4
2601 I'm telling you dude, we're not too old for Coachella 1.2308 0.04052 156 126 24 6
2602 It’s one size fits all 1.2308 0.04291 143 116 21 6
2603 Your wife bought me on amazon pal, so scram. 1.2308 0.04055 143 114 25 4
2604 It gives me a strong sense of selfie-worth. 1.2308 0.04052 156 126 24 6
2605 keeps my pants up 1.2308 0.03753 169 135 29 5
2606 I've always been known for droning on and on. 1.2308 0.03948 156 125 26 5
2607 You're stuck in the past, Carl. These newer models get up to 15 minutes of uninterrupted suspension 1.2304 0.03853 191 157 24 10
2608 Settle down Mr. Fancy Pants 1.2303 0.03632 178 142 31 5
2609 Drone me up Scotty, at your service. 1.2303 0.03885 178 145 25 8
2610 They're calling it the uber Uber. 1.2303 0.04045 178 147 21 10
2611 You should see my cumberbund. 1.2303 0.03803 178 144 27 7
2612 Don’t worry. It’s a prototype. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
2613 When will this guy stop droning on about his alternative-pants-support-system? 1.2303 0.04179 165 136 20 9
2614 I got Fox News on one side. CNN on the other. Let ‘em fight it out. 1.2303 0.04089 165 135 22 8
2615 I forgot my belt. 1.2303 0.04089 165 135 22 8
2616 The technology isn't perfect, but the accident rate is much lower. 1.2303 0.04012 152 122 25 5
2617 Yeah, people are calling me "six eyes" 1.2303 0.04119 152 123 23 6
2618 I was wearing pajamas just a second ago. These guys do it all! 1.2303 0.04223 152 124 21 7
2619 Nice suspenders, nerd! 1.2303 0.04325 152 125 19 8
2620 Tactical Pants. 1.2303 0.04012 152 122 25 5
2621 My pants stay up, I'm always cool, and my shirt stays wrinkle free. The "Calibration wedgies" were totally worth it. 1.2303 0.04012 152 122 25 5
2622 I walk my drones every morning. 1.2303 0.04223 152 124 21 7
2623 I couldn’t wait any longer for jet packs. 1.2302 0.04488 139 114 18 7
2624 You look funny wearing suspenders 1.2302 0.04125 139 111 24 4
2625 The way I see it, you can either fear the future, or embrace it. 1.2302 0.03996 139 110 26 3
2626 Flying? Nah, my pants kept falling down. 1.2299 0.03771 174 140 28 6
2627 Everybody who is anybody in Silicon Valley is wearing these dude. 1.2298 0.04062 161 131 23 7
2628 We are testing out Amazon's "Heavy Package" delivery system. 1.2298 0.03866 161 129 27 5
2629 Your suspenders are so eighties. 1.2298 0.03552 161 126 33 2
2630 Best investment ever! I never got another dirty look after using the disabled toilet. 1.2298 0.04339 161 134 17 10
2631 Going up? 1.2297 0.03846 148 117 28 3
2632 It's called 'suspension of disbelief ', duh. 1.2297 0.04078 148 119 24 5
2633 ...Anyways, I could drone on and on about fashion. 1.2297 0.04078 148 119 24 5
2634 "They said no hover boards in public, so I decided for a hover belt instead! 1.2296 0.04198 135 108 23 4
2635 At least its handsfree 1.2296 0.04454 135 110 19 6
2636 I have given up on Public Transportation. Frank Buckley Boston, MA 1.2295 0.03731 183 148 28 7
2637 I could care less that the NSA will see everything, as long as they don't catch me with my pants down. 1.2295 0.03731 183 148 28 7
2638 It’s the millennial version of the hula hoop. 1.2295 0.03889 183 150 24 9
2639 It's usually pretty comfortable, but it got troublesome when my stalker hacked into them. 1.2294 0.04090 170 140 21 9
2640 Be careful: you're a hair away from getting a wedgie. 1.2294 0.04090 170 140 21 9
2641 This way I can be in the air twice as long. 1.2294 0.03916 170 138 25 7
2642 Some of our best minds have worked on self-lifting pants 1.2294 0.04090 170 140 21 9
2643 I’ll take you there faster than Uber. 1.2294 0.03916 170 138 25 7
2644 It's pretty hard to go to the bathroom like this._ 1.2294 0.04090 170 140 21 9
2645 So I says to him, “a little light in the loafers? Buddy, that’s just one of the many perks!” 1.2294 0.03916 170 138 25 7
2646 Got 'em online...dronespenders! 1.2294 0.04174 170 141 19 10
2647 And that was the last time my pants ever fell down in front on my girlfriend's patents. 1.2293 0.04226 157 129 20 8
2648 This is great! I am light on my feet and I don’t need a belt! 1.2293 0.04128 157 128 22 7
2649 I dropped off the package. Do you need a lift anywhere? 1.2293 0.04028 157 127 24 6
2650 Who needs suspenders? 1.2293 0.03926 157 126 26 5
2651 They were always slipping off my shoulders. 1.2293 0.03820 157 125 28 4
2652 my wife wanted proof I keep my pants on when I am not in her sight 1.2293 0.04226 157 129 20 8
2653 That's funny. No one's accused me of droning on before. 1.2292 0.04697 144 121 13 10
2654 I’m down ten pounds according to my scale! 1.2291 0.04025 179 148 21 10
2655 I’m kind of a next-gen belt-and-suspenders guy. 1.2291 0.03700 179 144 29 6
2656 If you're the belt-and-suspenders type, this isn't for you. 1.2289 0.03690 166 132 30 4
2657 I see you fell for the pitch from that slick-talking suspender salesman 1.2289 0.03976 166 135 24 7
2658 I put my pants on two legs at time. 1.2289 0.03690 166 132 30 4
2659 My new suspenders are great and don't dig into my collar bone. 1.2289 0.04156 166 137 20 9
2660 Flying pants are the new flying cars. 1.2289 0.03976 166 135 24 7
2661 Believe me; these drone suspenders will be the next big thing. 1.2289 0.04067 166 136 22 8
2662 See, I don’t have to wear a belt! 1.2288 0.04198 153 125 21 7
2663 ...and on top of that, it holds up my pants! 1.2288 0.04198 153 125 21 7
2664 They got rid of my terrible sense of insecurity. 1.2288 0.04095 153 124 23 6
2665 Hi there. Meet Narcissus and Echo, my two selfie drones. 1.2288 0.04300 153 126 19 8
2666 I adjust their height from an app. 1.2288 0.04300 153 126 19 8
2667 A meme is born! 1.2288 0.04399 153 127 17 9
2668 Google is giving away free smart-suspenders! 1.2287 0.03815 188 154 25 9
2669 It's the new version of power walking. 1.2286 0.03572 175 139 32 4
2670 It's a solar-powered V8 Bagel Slicer...what the heck did you think it was? 1.2286 0.03663 175 140 30 5
2671 You can hold your pants up any way you want, but I'm going drone. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
2672 Well, once you use a restroom with these, you’ll never go back. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
2673 I'm thinking now might be a good time to quit my job at Facebook 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
2674 The drone footage is a plus, but the suspense is killing me. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
2675 Have you had your remote colonoscopy yet? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
2676 My life was droning on...I just needed more suspense, ya know? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
2677 You never know when you’ll need an alibi. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
2678 It's not all about me. I'm filming the guy who's drawing me! 1.2282 0.04377 149 123 18 8
2679 I call them "Alfred" and "Hitchcock." 1.2282 0.04479 149 124 16 9
2680 As long as you're not concerned about practicality 1.2281 0.03895 171 139 25 7
2681 No, it's not ridiculous; it takes real talent and skill. In the 60s I would have appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. 1.2281 0.03621 171 136 31 4
2682 They're great, but an extra pair of batteries is essential. 1.2281 0.03714 171 137 29 5
2683 Belts are old technology. 1.2281 0.03895 171 139 25 7
2684 I still wear the pants, she just suspends them. 1.2281 0.03806 171 138 27 6
2685 Those suspenders make you look so dated. 1.2281 0.03621 171 136 31 4
2686 What's with the suspenders? 1.2280 0.03745 193 158 26 9
2687 Actually it’s the other way around. The drones are flying me 1.2278 0.03903 158 127 26 5
2688 10kg! Gone, just like that! 1.2278 0.03681 180 145 29 6
2689 I find they’re great for improving my posture. 1.2276 0.04237 145 118 21 6
2690 You just need to remember not to wave people as you fly by. 1.2276 0.04349 145 119 19 7
2691 But do those help put ON your pants? 1.2276 0.04005 145 116 25 4
2692 They’re working drones — they actually enjoy it. 1.2276 0.04005 145 116 25 4
2693 Just suspend your disbelief! 1.2276 0.04237 145 118 21 6
2694 It's the newest version of rideshare. 1.2275 0.04133 167 138 20 9
2695 It’s the latest fashion design by Rube & Goldberg. 1.2275 0.03671 167 133 30 4
2696 nope, but it clears the sidewalk... 1.2275 0.04045 167 137 22 8
2697 My girlfriend wants to keep an eye on me 1.2275 0.03862 167 135 26 6
2698 Now, I just need to build a robot to unzip my fly because no human wants to. 1.2275 0.04387 167 141 14 12
2699 Helium and Gluten Free! 1.2275 0.04304 167 140 16 11
2700 My other car’s a unicorn. 1.2273 0.03857 154 123 27 4
2701 Damn it man, you've got to pull yourself up by your drones and move on! 1.2273 0.03965 154 124 25 5
2702 They're Amazon Basics. 1.2273 0.04174 154 126 21 7
2703 They keep my pants up, keep me cool in summer and live-stream it all. 1.2273 0.03965 154 124 25 5
2704 No, I just sweat a lot. 1.2273 0.04174 154 126 21 7
2705 Don’t worry - I promise that I won’t drone on! 1.2273 0.04174 154 126 21 7
2706 Why, for the same reason a fireman wear red suspenders. 1.2273 0.04174 154 126 21 7
2707 Trust me - once you have it, you'll never go back. 1.2270 0.03695 185 150 28 7
2708 A little over-engineered for a belt. You turn into a flasher when the batteries dies? 1.2270 0.03723 163 130 29 4
2709 Nanu, Nanu 1.2270 0.03921 163 132 25 6
2710 Where do you think Amazon got their idea? 1.2270 0.04110 163 134 21 8
2711 Cute, but suspenders are so old school 1.2270 0.03921 163 132 25 6
2712 At least sagging isn't a trend anymore. 1.2270 0.04195 141 114 22 5
2713 I gave up on suspenders 1.2267 0.03786 172 139 27 6
2714 Would you like me to drone on? 1.2267 0.03961 172 141 23 8
2715 Shutting down the drones confirms implied consent. 1.2267 0.03875 172 140 25 7
2716 If you're gonna drone on and on, I'm outa here! 1.2267 0.04046 172 142 21 9
2717 The first atomic wedgy was painful, but now I’ve gotten used to it. 1.2267 0.03408 172 135 35 2
2718 Yeah, they're techy and great to keep your pants up, but hell when you have to take a dump. 1.2267 0.03786 172 139 27 6
2719 If you fall from 100 feet in the air you get your money back. 1.2267 0.04030 150 121 24 5
2720 Security didn’t approve of my zipper in the no fly zone 1.2267 0.04139 150 122 22 6
2721 I don’t drone on and on and on, I only drone on and on! 1.2264 0.04178 159 131 20 8
2722 Come on, I'm headed that way. 1.2264 0.03983 159 129 24 6
2723 Do you even Drone, bro? 1.2264 0.03983 159 129 24 6
2724 I need to keep them on a leash in the city 1.2264 0.03983 159 129 24 6
2725 They say I have 10,546 steps today 1.2264 0.03882 159 128 26 5
2726 I gotta run, my suspenders need to be recharged every three hours. 1.2264 0.03882 159 128 26 5
2727 The price is right and they don't charge extra for luggage. 1.2264 0.03671 159 126 30 3
2728 I'm marketing it for prison breaks 1.2262 0.03933 168 137 24 7
2729 Here, take my hand. This is the future. 1.2262 0.03842 168 136 26 6
2730 You've heard of dueling banjos? 1.2262 0.03748 168 135 28 5
2731 Only $50 for a ten minute air view of New York City. 1.2262 0.03651 168 134 30 4
2732 Again.... Where do you think the loose screw must be? 1.2262 0.04023 168 138 22 8
2733 Download the new App "Amazon Fly" and get one day free 1.2260 0.03980 146 117 25 4
2734 What?! Haven’t you ever seen a high-tech wedgie? 1.2260 0.04322 146 120 19 7
2735 This is Elon Musk's latest innovation; I-GO, A Personal Transportation System. 1.2260 0.04097 146 118 23 5
2736 Things are ok...Still waiting for my personal security business to take off 1.2260 0.04322 146 120 19 7
2737 It's the sign of the times man and it even holds up your pants 1.2260 0.03714 177 143 28 6
2738 It holds up my pants, and the police haven't mugged me in weeks. 1.2260 0.03883 177 145 24 8
2739 Of course your pants stay up ... don't be ridiculous. 1.2260 0.03883 177 145 24 8
2740 When she left she said I droned on and on 1.2258 0.04149 155 127 21 7
2741 Since I got the software worked out, my pants have never felt so snug... 1.2258 0.04047 155 126 23 6
2742 -Yeah,my wife is not the most trusting engineer... 1.2258 0.03942 155 125 25 5
2743 I mean, I could go on forever about these things. 1.2258 0.04149 155 127 21 7