Contest #635


Cartoon

635

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment.”
  2. “It’s not ye, it’s me.”
  3. “You didn’t mention you wear glasses.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-10-14T23:46:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-10-28T23:46:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-10-22T23:46:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 29, 2018
Number of captions 7794
Number of responses 1311984
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I don't normally date Middle-Aged men. 1.8238 0.06058 193 88 51 54
1 I wrote "middle aged." 1.7086 0.06229 175 92 42 41
2 You could have been clearer when you said you were Middle-Aged. 1.7056 0.05985 180 92 49 39
3 You didn’t mention you wear glasses. 1.7034 0.06647 145 74 40 31
4 I said I was Middle Aged. 1.7011 0.05777 174 84 58 32
5 I don't usually date middle aged men. 1.6923 0.06142 156 77 50 29
6 This is not what I expected when you said you were middle aged. 1.6879 0.06380 157 82 42 33
7 I meant middle-aged. 1.6701 0.05491 194 99 60 35
8 Laundry day? 1.6688 0.06351 157 84 41 32
9 Younger men haven't panned out, so I’m trying the Middle Ages. 1.6588 0.05529 211 116 51 44
10 I've got to use the bathroom, I'll be back in about 45 minutes. 1.6519 0.06281 158 86 41 31
11 Is that your sword touching my leg? 1.6407 0.05837 167 88 51 28
12 I imagined something different when you said you were Middle-Aged. 1.6395 0.06050 172 96 42 34
13 It's not easy for Middle Aged men these days. 1.6387 0.06132 155 83 45 27
14 We need to talk about the other knight. 1.6376 0.06544 149 84 35 30
15 It’s not ye, it’s me 1.6353 0.05822 170 91 50 29
16 People call me Lance. A lot. 1.6348 0.05556 178 93 57 28
17 They gave us a round table. Happy now? 1.6313 0.05923 160 85 49 26
18 Surely you joust. 1.6257 0.05567 187 102 53 32
19 No, my profile says I’m looking for a middle-aged man, not a Middle Age man. 1.6243 0.05927 181 104 41 36
20 Your profile said middle aged not middle ages. 1.6225 0.06215 151 83 42 26
21 So, when are you from? 1.6211 0.06472 161 96 30 35
22 To be honest, I come with a bit of history. 1.6169 0.05694 154 79 55 20
23 I'm sensing you believe these are dangerous times for men. 1.6163 0.05792 172 95 48 29
24 I’m not wearing any under armour. 1.6159 0.06007 151 81 47 23
25 When you said you were middle aged, I pictured something a little different. 1.6139 0.06332 158 92 35 31
26 ...it's just, your profile didn't mention you wear glasses. 1.6108 0.06175 167 98 36 33
27 I don't do one knight stands. 1.6076 0.06012 158 88 44 26
28 So your profile said you were "middle aged"... 1.6065 0.05825 155 83 50 22
29 Can you open that thing yourself or should I step on your foot? 1.6049 0.06214 162 95 36 31
30 And you’re no Guinevere, so let’s call it even. 1.6040 0.06159 149 83 42 24
31 You didn’t mention you were middle aged on your profile 1.6034 0.05791 179 103 44 32
32 I take it that you've been hurt before. 1.6026 0.05799 151 80 51 20
33 So tell me, how do you know Arthur? 1.6014 0.06366 143 81 38 24
34 First date since the divorce? 1.6000 0.05683 170 94 50 26
35 I see you remembered to bring protection. 1.6000 0.05363 195 109 55 31
36 Well you weren't wearing glasses in your profile either. 1.5988 0.05693 172 96 49 27
37 Why does everything have to be a crusade with you? 1.5988 0.05574 167 90 54 23
38 My profile CLEARLY stated I was Middle-Aged.... 1.5955 0.05770 178 103 44 31
39 I guess my dating profile should have disclosed I was Middle Age. 1.5949 0.06158 158 92 38 28
40 Your ad clearly read: “Must be middle aged, chivalrous, and wear protection.” 1.5932 0.05742 177 102 45 30
41 Well, you were honest about being middle-aged. 1.5909 0.05482 176 97 54 25
42 This isn't what I had in mind when your profile said that you were middle- aged. 1.5901 0.06007 161 93 41 27
43 I must have misread “middle aged.” 1.5899 0.05607 178 101 49 28
44 Classy restaurant, busy dinner hour, fine wine, suit of armor. You're breaking up with me, aren't you 1.5895 0.05381 190 107 54 29
45 You did say you were middle-aged. 1.5890 0.05949 163 94 42 27
46 A dating profile that says ‘Early middle-age’ is a little misleading, don’t you think? 1.5889 0.05273 180 97 60 23
47 I think it's time we saw people from our own age. 1.5852 0.05775 176 103 43 30
48 I think there’s been a mistake — my profile said I was looking for someone Middle-Aged. 1.5852 0.05886 176 105 39 32
49 My ex-wife says I have intimacy issues. 1.5849 0.05939 159 91 43 25
50 Why is it always a fight with you? 1.5811 0.06215 148 86 38 24
51 Yeah, well you're not my vision of a princess either. 1.5808 0.05591 167 93 51 23
52 No, I don't do one-knight stands. 1.5793 0.06054 164 98 37 29
53 Now I understand why you insisted on a round table. 1.5789 0.05797 171 100 43 28
54 You seem a little defensive. 1.5787 0.05445 178 100 53 25
55 Fine. Chivalry's not dead. You still look like an idiot. 1.5776 0.05821 161 92 45 24
56 Sorry, I haven't been on a date in a while. I'm a little rusty. 1.5769 0.05755 156 87 48 21
57 This better not be another one knight stand. 1.5769 0.05737 182 109 41 32
58 You weren't wearing glasses in your profile picture. 1.5759 0.05840 158 90 45 23
59 Mom said there’d be knights like this 1.5746 0.05547 181 105 48 28
60 I'm not disappointed, I was just hoping you would be more of a renaissance man. 1.5745 0.05643 188 113 42 33
61 Shirley, you joust. 1.5740 0.05794 169 99 43 27
62 OK. So they found us a round table. Are you happy now? 1.5733 0.06083 150 87 40 23
63 I like star gazing from the turret, moonlit walks along the moat, and beheadings. How about you? 1.5706 0.05502 163 90 53 20
64 Christ Steven, it was just an honorary knighthood. 1.5706 0.06090 163 99 35 29
65 I see you wear protection 1.5705 0.05902 156 90 43 23
66 So you always wear protection? 1.5705 0.05831 156 89 45 22
67 So, ‘looking for a fun knight’ was a typo, then. 1.5696 0.06048 158 94 38 26
68 I usually don't date Middle Ages men. 1.5691 0.05714 181 109 41 31
69 When I asked if you wore protection, I had something else in mind. 1.5688 0.05989 160 95 39 26
70 Oh, I like long walks on the beach, reading good books, and disemboweling and beheading Huns. You? 1.5683 0.06215 139 80 39 20
71 Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment... 1.5679 0.05800 162 94 44 24
72 I guess writing “likes heavy metal” on my profile may have sent the wrong message 1.5671 0.05746 164 95 45 24
73 It's been a while since I've been on a date. I'm a little rusty. 1.5663 0.05628 166 95 48 23
74 What time do you have to be back to the museum? 1.5655 0.06097 145 84 40 21
75 I have to use the restroom. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. 1.5652 0.06027 161 97 37 27
76 Yes, I can see your irony. 1.5641 0.05907 156 91 42 23
77 I dub thee Sir Not Gonna Have a Second Date. 1.5633 0.05780 158 91 45 22
78 Well, I did say I was looking for someone middle-aged. 1.5618 0.05457 178 103 50 25
79 Well, for one thing, you come across as a little defensive. 1.5617 0.05671 162 93 47 22
80 Well, I’m actually just a squire right now, but they say to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.5614 0.05629 171 100 46 25
81 It'll never work...I'm a morning person and you're a knight. 1.5607 0.05518 173 100 49 24
82 Happy now? They seated us at the Round Table. 1.5581 0.05666 172 102 44 26
83 When I said to bring protection, this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.5570 0.06056 158 96 36 26
84 To tell you the truth, I was looking for "amour". 1.5569 0.05860 167 101 39 27
85 Now I see why you reserved a round table. 1.5562 0.05495 169 97 50 22
86 What part of "renaissance man" was misleading? 1.5562 0.05430 169 96 52 21
87 Well, you're no Guinevere either. 1.5562 0.05575 178 106 45 27
88 Yeah, I've been a little guarded since the breakup. 1.5556 0.05632 171 101 45 25
89 Well you're not what I pictured either, Guinevere. 1.5549 0.05702 173 104 42 27
90 Can't you just wear a lobster bib like everyone else? 1.5549 0.05622 164 95 47 22
91 Don't raise your visor but your ex just walked in. 1.5541 0.05884 157 93 41 23
92 Okay...not exactly what I meant when I said "Bring protection." 1.5541 0.05814 157 92 43 22
93 Chivalrous, outdoorsy, likes horses... Okay, I think I walked into this one. 1.5537 0.05601 177 106 44 27
94 Oh, I thought your profile said Middle Aged. 1.5517 0.05736 174 106 40 28
95 So that's what you meant by "attractive Middle-Aged man." 1.5513 0.05701 156 90 46 20
96 Your profile said you were into heavy metal. 1.5511 0.05270 176 100 55 21
97 You okay with spaghetti? 1.5497 0.05257 171 96 56 19
98 I like to think of myself as middle aged. 1.5487 0.05045 195 112 59 24
99 You need to open up. 1.5484 0.05582 155 88 49 18
100 I guess I did ask for a middle aged man 1.5480 0.05547 177 106 45 26
101 No I said 'medieval life crisis' 1.5467 0.05800 150 87 44 19
102 I do appreciate a man who uses protection. 1.5466 0.05499 161 92 50 19
103 Are you mostly free-lancing these days? 1.5460 0.05720 163 97 43 23
104 Well yes, l did write middle age on my profile. 1.5460 0.05255 174 99 55 20
105 I don't know. I just feel like you have some barriers. 1.5455 0.05209 187 109 54 24
106 My mother cancelled...you can take that off now. 1.5455 0.05514 176 105 46 25
107 I don't think anyone has recognized you, Mr. Pence. 1.5449 0.05805 167 102 39 26
108 Those steel tariffs must be killing you 1.5449 0.05632 156 90 47 19
109 It's laundry day. 1.5437 0.05455 160 91 51 18
110 When I asked you to wear protection, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.5437 0.05667 160 94 45 21
111 When I said wear a suit and bring protection tonight, this isn't what I meant. 1.5434 0.05707 173 106 40 27
112 It's a really scary time for men. 1.5421 0.05308 190 114 49 27
113 Honestly Harold, if you hadn’t slain the maitre d’ maybe we’d have our appetizers by now. 1.5411 0.06309 146 91 31 24
114 You told me to wear protection. 1.5409 0.05695 159 94 44 21
115 So, we got the round table. Happy now? 1.5404 0.05778 161 97 41 23
116 I don’t usually do one knight stands. 1.5400 0.06390 150 96 27 27
117 Mother said there’d be knights like this 1.5394 0.05538 165 97 47 21
118 Sorry, but you are the worst knight of my life. 1.5394 0.05538 165 97 47 21
119 So how do you know Arthur? 1.5393 0.04965 191 109 61 21
120 Your dating profile did say "Enjoying Middle Age," but I interpreted it differently. 1.5389 0.05745 167 102 40 25
121 That's not what I had in mind when I suggested you wear protection tonight... 1.5385 0.05935 169 107 33 29
122 Trust me, no one noticed you had red wine with the fish. 1.5385 0.05921 156 95 38 23
123 To be fair, my profile did say I was middle-aged. 1.5380 0.05931 158 97 37 24
124 In my defense, my profile said I was middle aged. 1.5380 0.05794 158 95 41 22
125 I really thought 'middle-ages-meetup.com meant something else. 1.5375 0.05739 160 96 42 22
126 Issues with intimacy? No, why? 1.5375 0.05600 160 94 46 20
127 I'm not opposed to a one knight stand.... 1.5369 0.05911 149 89 40 20
128 The dragon is free-range.” 1.5369 0.05596 149 85 48 16
129 It's just that you looked younger on your tapestry. 1.5369 0.05596 149 85 48 16
130 This explains the horse in the parking lot. 1.5368 0.05310 190 115 48 27
131 I thought you might prefer the round table over a booth. 1.5366 0.06017 164 104 32 28
132 That is not what I meant when I said you need to wear protection tonight 1.5353 0.05789 170 106 37 27
133 I think you read the ad wrong. I said middle aged. 1.5346 0.05971 159 99 35 25
134 Well, you don’t look much like your picture either. 1.5342 0.05575 161 95 46 20
135 At least tell me if you are a man or a woman. 1.5333 0.06106 150 93 34 23
136 Sometimes I feel we're centuries apart. 1.5333 0.05190 180 105 54 21
137 Can you shut up, Scott? I had a really long day and was hoping for a quiet knight. 1.5325 0.05632 169 103 42 24
138 Would you excuse me for two hours while I visit the men's room? 1.5324 0.05803 139 80 44 15
139 My pronoun is sir. 1.5322 0.05643 171 105 41 25
140 No, I don't want to see your lance a lot. In fact, I don't want to see it at all. 1.5312 0.05741 160 97 41 22
141 No, Bob, it's not called a Middle Ages crisis. 1.5310 0.05958 145 87 39 19
142 You weren't wearing glasses in your profile pic... 1.5306 0.05896 147 88 40 19
143 Really? Now she's living with the dragon? 1.5304 0.05570 181 113 40 28
144 Do I mind being called Lance? A lot. 1.5302 0.05913 149 90 39 20
145 Let me guess, you've been hurt before. 1.5298 0.05467 168 100 47 21
146 I'm sorry you're disappointed but I did say in my profile that i'm a Middle-Aged man. 1.5294 0.05670 170 105 40 25
147 ...you just seem a bit guarded. 1.5294 0.05546 170 103 44 23
148 You didn't tell me you were into heavy metal. 1.5291 0.04894 189 108 62 19
149 I get the sense that you don't often let your guard down. 1.5283 0.05487 159 93 48 18
150 Why yes, I did request a round table. 1.5278 0.05192 180 106 53 21
151 Actually, I'm not wearing anything underneath. 1.5276 0.04926 199 117 59 23
152 I’m sensing that you’ve been hurt in past relationships. 1.5266 0.05508 169 102 45 22
153 I always wear protection. 1.5258 0.05280 194 120 46 28
154 I don’t think I can deal with your Middle Ages crisis. 1.5253 0.05867 158 98 37 23
155 Geez Henry; it was a metaphor. 1.5252 0.05624 139 79 47 13
156 I don’t know. Everything you say sounds so hollow. 1.5244 0.05636 164 100 42 22
157 It takes me a while to open up. 1.5244 0.05364 164 96 50 18
158 You all claim I'm what you're looking for, but when I show up, you think I'm weird... 1.5238 0.05723 168 105 38 25
159 It took her several hours to realize that he had left the restaurant while she was in the bathroom. 1.5238 0.05967 168 109 30 29
160 I'm not into one knight stands 1.5238 0.05819 147 88 41 18
161 If you think slaying a dragon is tough, try raising 3 kids as a single parent. 1.5235 0.05793 170 108 35 27
162 We should talk about the other knight. 1.5235 0.05732 170 107 37 26
163 You should know...I’ve been hurt before. 1.5230 0.05200 174 102 53 19
164 Had to ask for the round table? 1.5226 0.05593 155 92 45 18
165 I'm not wearing a chastity belt while you're off with the boys on one of your crusades. 1.5223 0.05540 157 93 46 18
166 No, I’m not saying your profile was dishonest. We just have different definitions of heavy metal. 1.5222 0.05312 180 109 48 23
167 So you find the Holy Grail. Then what? 1.5222 0.05011 180 104 58 18
168 Jenny didn't tell me you wear glasses. 1.5220 0.05560 159 95 45 19
169 So, ever had a one knight stand? 1.5213 0.05250 188 115 48 25
170 I like you Lance, a lot 1.5212 0.05741 165 103 38 24
171 When you said you were a little rusty I thought you meant at dating. 1.5211 0.04780 213 127 61 25
172 I feel like you never let your guard down when you're with me... 1.5210 0.05624 167 103 41 23
173 Sorry, I don't do one-Knight stands. 1.5205 0.05333 171 102 49 20
174 Did you say one knight stand ? 1.5205 0.05767 171 109 35 27
175 I just think I’m looking for someone less guarded. 1.5203 0.06174 148 94 31 23
176 So tell me, how long does it take for you to go through airport security? 1.5197 0.05520 152 89 47 16
177 They say a hard man is good to find. 1.5196 0.05032 179 104 57 18
178 I only pillaged. I promise. 1.5196 0.05677 179 115 35 29
179 Well, you're an improvement on the last guy. He was a real Neanderthal. 1.5190 0.05587 158 95 44 19
180 I always wear protection on a first date. 1.5189 0.05532 185 118 38 29
181 You seem unusually guarded tonight 1.5188 0.05391 160 94 49 17
182 Yes, I know I wrote looking for middle aged man. 1.5187 0.05327 187 116 45 26
183 'Well, his profile did say middle age.' 1.5185 0.05889 162 103 34 25
184 I don't see why you have to be so defensive. 1.5185 0.05270 162 94 52 16
185 ...That better be your lance 1.5183 0.05188 191 117 49 25
186 Look, I just feel like you’re stuck in the past. 1.5183 0.05434 164 98 47 19
187 I'm in Witness Protection. 1.5181 0.05095 193 117 52 24
188 I can see you've been hurt before. 1.5179 0.05535 168 103 43 22
189 Have you ever dated someone middle-aged? 1.5176 0.05485 170 104 44 22
190 I wasn't sure what to wear either. 1.5174 0.05115 172 100 55 17
191 So, your profile said you’re into heavy metal? 1.5168 0.05521 149 87 47 15
192 It takes awhile for me to open up. 1.5166 0.05781 151 92 40 19
193 When I read your bio I thought middle ages was a typo. 1.5161 0.05669 155 94 42 19
194 Yea, well you’re no “damsel in distress” either ! 1.5153 0.05730 163 102 38 23
195 Well you don't look like your profile photo either. 1.5153 0.05664 163 101 40 22
196 This is my first date in a long time, sorry if I'm a bit rusty 1.5152 0.05545 165 101 43 21
197 Have you thought of NOT telling everyone you voted for Trump? 1.5148 0.05699 169 107 37 25
198 But your posting specifically said "middle aged man" 1.5143 0.05243 175 105 50 20
199 You, on the other hand, look just like your picture. 1.5140 0.05336 179 110 46 23
200 No, I've never had a one Knight stand! 1.5138 0.05291 181 111 47 23
201 Was it too presumptuous of me to wear protection on a first date? 1.5137 0.06165 146 93 31 22
202 Let me guess, you have trouble opening up to people. 1.5132 0.05600 152 91 44 17
203 I'll open up soon. It's been a while, I'm a little rusty. 1.5127 0.05516 158 95 45 18
204 So I said to myself, "Mike, go out and meet people. Quit living in the past." 1.5127 0.05368 158 93 49 16
205 I thought you meant you were taking classes at "night" school. 1.5127 0.05215 158 91 53 14
206 I never open up on the first date. 1.5125 0.05745 160 100 38 22
207 I don't know. You just seem guarded. 1.5125 0.05465 160 96 46 18
208 Exactly how errant are you? 1.5122 0.05638 164 102 40 22
209 Yeah, a lot of women say they want a knight in shining armor, until they actually meet one. 1.5120 0.05651 166 104 39 23
210 When I said you'd have to wear protection........ 1.5119 0.05788 168 108 34 26
211 Yeah, well, you don't look like your profile picture either 1.5118 0.05549 170 106 41 23
212 You've been looking for a fight since we left the house. 1.5115 0.05138 174 103 53 18
213 I am sorry, but that outfit makes you look middle aged. 1.5115 0.05632 174 111 37 26
214 I get that it's a Middle Age dating site. 1.5115 0.05452 174 108 43 23
215 It’s been a while since I’ve dated, so I’m a little rusty. 1.5114 0.05582 176 112 38 26
216 I see you've been updated on our new sexual harassment policy. 1.5104 0.05376 192 123 40 29
217 I promise you a knight you'll never forget. 1.5099 0.05549 151 90 45 16
218 Are you ready for the best knight of your life? 1.5098 0.05800 153 95 38 20
219 Damn autocorrect - I wanted a romantic 'night' out. 1.5094 0.05269 159 93 51 15
220 After the divorce, she took the castle. 1.5093 0.05295 161 95 50 16
221 Your Tinder profile said you were middle-aged, not Middle Ages. 1.5093 0.05295 161 95 50 16
222 You want to make England great again too? 1.5093 0.05919 161 104 32 25
223 It usually takes more than one drink for me to open up. 1.5092 0.05461 163 99 45 19
224 You’ll have to excuse me; it’s been awhile since I’ve dated and I’m a little rusty. 1.5090 0.05295 167 100 49 18
225 Yeah? Well, you're no Lady Guinevere. 1.5090 0.05430 167 102 45 20
226 Don't you think you are drawing unwanted attention to yourself with that plume? 1.5088 0.05709 171 110 35 26
227 Honey, when I said, 'Bring protection...' 1.5087 0.05225 173 104 50 19
228 It's been a while since I've dated and I'm a bit rusty. 1.5087 0.05095 173 102 54 17
229 I’m interested in more than a one knight stand. 1.5086 0.05368 175 108 45 22
230 I’m afraid of getting hurt again. 1.5084 0.05218 179 109 49 21
231 So this is why you insisted on a round table. 1.5079 0.05242 191 120 45 26
232 You could just get the flu shot! 1.5075 0.05092 201 126 48 27
233 I’m not really into one knight stands 1.5068 0.05712 148 90 41 17
234 I don't believe in one-knight stands. 1.5066 0.05678 152 93 41 18
235 Stop with the footsie--it hurts!, 1.5064 0.05716 156 97 39 20
236 Vice President Pence's first date. 1.5063 0.06205 158 106 24 28
237 You appear defensive, Arthur 1.5060 0.05716 166 106 36 24
238 Underneath? I go commando. 1.5060 0.05250 166 99 50 17
239 When you said you were going to night school, I guess I just assumed. 1.5059 0.05423 170 105 44 21
240 Guinevere this, Guinevere that—you’re still not over your ex. 1.5058 0.05439 172 107 43 22
241 No, but what does bother me is you ordered spaghetti. 1.5058 0.05376 172 106 45 21
242 I do have to let you know, I have rust issues. 1.5057 0.05391 174 108 44 22
243 No, Arthur, I don’t think it’s a coincidence we got a round table. 1.5057 0.05513 174 110 40 24
244 Nice look...Lancelot. I said, 'dress for amour'. 1.5056 0.05075 180 108 53 19
245 Now I get why you reserved the round table. 1.5055 0.05270 182 113 46 23
246 I hear it's a scary time to be a man. 1.5054 0.04994 184 110 55 19
247 I guess it _is_ a very scary time for men in America. 1.5054 0.05404 186 119 40 27
248 I can’t say I really have a “favorite” Crusade. 1.5031 0.05598 163 102 40 21
249 Well, I'm in between quests right now. 1.5030 0.05480 165 102 43 20
250 I'll be fine, mom. I'm not going to turn down the opportunity to clerk for Justice Kavanaugh. 1.5030 0.05626 167 106 38 23
251 You seem guarded tonight. 1.5029 0.05071 171 101 54 16
252 Do you come-here-a-lot? 1.5029 0.05769 171 112 32 27
253 I reserved the round table just like you wanted. 1.5029 0.05181 175 106 50 19
254 Well, I did say in my profile that I'm middle-aged. 1.5028 0.05350 181 114 43 24
255 My mother told me there would be knights like this. 1.5028 0.05175 181 111 49 21
256 What makes you think I'm intimidated by women? 1.5027 0.05014 183 110 54 19
257 I can't seem to reach my wallet... 1.5027 0.05034 185 112 53 20
258 Okay, I'm ready to talk politics. 1.5000 0.05314 180 113 44 23
259 My profile was very clear. I 'm looking for amour, not armor. 1.5000 0.05716 166 107 35 24
260 Honestly, I'm more attracted to you with the visor down. 1.5000 0.05345 162 98 47 17
261 Let's be clear I am not intersted in a one knight stand. 1.5000 0.05439 172 108 42 22
262 Let me be clear. I’m not interested in any one-knight stands 1.5000 0.05440 182 117 39 26
263 Sure I’ve been hurt. Why do you ask? 1.5000 0.05536 132 76 46 10
264 My ad clearly said “Middle Ages man seeking companion”. It’s not my fault you thought it was a typo. 1.5000 0.05812 150 94 37 19
265 That's not exactly what I had in mind when I asked if you'd wear protection. 1.5000 0.05583 176 114 36 26
266 I am guessing you don't look much like your photo. 1.4973 0.04916 185 111 56 18
267 I'm not really interested in just a one knight stand. 1.4972 0.05200 177 109 48 20
268 I'm sorry, I'm just not into one knight stands. 1.4972 0.05673 177 117 32 28
269 I said I wanted a memorable NIGHT. 1.4971 0.05429 175 111 41 23
270 Don't worry, I have protection. 1.4971 0.05429 175 111 41 23
271 At least we're both Middle Age. 1.4971 0.05429 175 111 41 23
272 I see you’ve met my ex. 1.4971 0.05225 173 106 48 19
273 I guess mother was right - be careful what you wish for. 1.4971 0.05477 173 110 40 23
274 Fifty years later Sophie fondly remembered the wine but couldn't recall what knight it was. 1.4970 0.05250 169 103 48 18
275 Growing up in the Rust Belt must have been pretty traumatic for you. 1.4970 0.05690 167 108 35 24
276 This isn't what I meant when I asked if you used "protection" 1.4969 0.05391 163 100 45 18
277 I have trouble opening up to women. 1.4969 0.05704 159 101 37 21
278 I like the knight life. I like to boogie. 1.4969 0.05563 159 99 41 19
279 You never like what I wear, Mother. 1.4967 0.05874 153 98 34 21
280 Now I understand why you capitalized “Middle Aged” man in your profile. 1.4967 0.05417 153 92 46 15
281 I'm a little rusty too. But I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. 1.4963 0.06029 135 84 35 16
282 You’re not what I expected when I asked to meet a damsel in distress either. 1.4945 0.05384 182 117 40 25
283 What makes you think I'm being defensive? 1.4944 0.05300 178 112 44 22
284 I have no interest in a one knight stand. 1.4944 0.05359 178 113 42 23
285 I'm looking for someone a little less guarded 1.4943 0.05267 174 108 46 20
286 I thought after this we could slip into something more comfortable. 1.4942 0.05312 172 107 45 20
287 Well, you don't look much like your profile picture either. 1.4942 0.05182 172 105 49 18
288 And how am I supposed to explain to your father that you've been diagnosed with late-onset, non-specific, trans-historical identity disorder? 1.4942 0.05376 172 108 43 21
289 And I thought ‘a knight on the town’ was just a typo. 1.4941 0.05160 170 103 50 17
290 No, I said I was looking for amour. 1.4940 0.05600 168 108 37 23
291 I clearly wrote I wanted a night of amour. 1.4939 0.05639 164 105 37 22
292 I can fight my own battles now, mom. 1.4937 0.05608 160 101 39 20
293 If you want this relationship to go anywhere, you’re going to have to open up. 1.4936 0.05788 156 100 35 21
294 It’s a scary time for men. 1.4935 0.05547 154 95 42 17
295 I've had better knights 1.4935 0.05698 154 97 38 19
296 You told me to bring protection, didn’t you? 1.4935 0.05698 154 97 38 19
297 To be honest, this is the first time I date a middle aged man. 1.4914 0.05244 175 109 46 20
298 yes, I have been hurt before 1.4912 0.05270 171 106 46 19
299 I haven't been on a date in ages. 1.4911 0.05249 169 104 47 18
300 So tell me, Rusty, how did you get your name? 1.4909 0.05612 165 106 37 22
301 You looked shinier online. 1.4909 0.05411 165 103 43 19
302 I was hoping after a few drinks you’d let your guard down. 1.4908 0.05461 163 102 42 19
303 Look,you have your crusade and I have mine. 1.4908 0.05176 163 98 50 15
304 Actually, what I think I said was a "quiet NIGHT" 1.4906 0.05491 159 99 42 18
305 So...where do you keep your cell phone? 1.4903 0.05444 155 95 44 16
306 But, hey, listen, enough about me already! What do you do? 1.4903 0.05366 155 94 46 15
307 Stop pouting, Martha. You're the one who asked for a knight on the town. 1.4902 0.05725 153 97 37 19
308 No, it said 'seeking middle AGED man with attention to detail. 1.4901 0.05782 151 96 36 19
309 It's been a few ages since my last date. 1.4899 0.05603 149 92 41 16
310 So here I am again,dating another Middle Age man 1.4897 0.05800 145 91 37 17
311 I feel like I'm the only one being vulnerable right now. 1.4892 0.05184 186 118 45 23
312 Knight school? How interesting. 1.4889 0.05314 180 115 42 23
313 I have never even considered a one knight stand, but... 1.4889 0.05314 180 115 42 23
314 Just so you know, I always use protection on the first date. 1.4889 0.05372 180 116 40 24
315 Sorry, I just came from knight school. 1.4881 0.04994 168 100 54 14
316 You strike me as the kind of guy who never lets his guard down. 1.4881 0.05204 168 103 48 17
317 I see you use protection... 1.4881 0.05272 168 104 46 18
318 Middle-aged men", were your words exactly 1.4880 0.05318 166 103 45 18
319 You seem somewhat defensive. 1.4877 0.05005 203 130 47 26
320 I'm surprised they let you in without a tie. 1.4875 0.05392 160 99 44 17
321 I just don't think we are well-suited for each other. 1.4875 0.05245 160 97 48 15
322 It’s just that I’ve been hurt in the past. 1.4873 0.05660 158 101 37 20
323 You could just get a flu shot ya know. 1.4873 0.04966 197 124 50 23
324 All my prior boyfriends were into heavy metal 1.4873 0.04860 197 122 54 21
325 You're right. It does have a metallic taste. 1.4866 0.05050 187 117 49 21
326 Well, I'm not exactly 30, but you're not exactly shining. 1.4866 0.04935 187 115 53 19
327 It takes some time for me to open up... 1.4860 0.05156 179 112 47 20
328 You asked me to use protection. 1.4859 0.05137 177 110 48 19
329 It's a scary time to be a man in America. 1.4859 0.05199 177 111 46 20
330 I guess you could say I'm still feeling pretty guarded after my last relationship. 1.4854 0.05398 171 109 41 21
331 Must we always sit at the round table? 1.4852 0.05113 169 103 50 16
332 What do you mean? My profile clearly stated I was middle-aged. 1.4850 0.05111 200 130 43 27
333 I’m a little nervous. I haven’t dated in ages. 1.4847 0.04715 196 119 59 18
334 I admit I'm a bit guarded. 1.4845 0.05221 161 98 48 15
335 So, you're currently freelance? 1.4845 0.05439 161 101 42 18
336 I thought you'd be happy I gave up that dumb Civil War reenactment hobby. 1.4845 0.05510 161 102 40 19
337 You've got mail. 1.4843 0.05841 159 105 31 23
338 I think I misunderstood you when you asked me to wear protection. 1.4841 0.06035 157 106 26 25
339 Will you excuse me for the next 2 hours? I need to use the restroom. 1.4841 0.05392 157 97 44 16
340 Just to be clear, I said I wanted more "amor". 1.4839 0.05239 186 120 42 24
341 That's not what I meant by "protection." 1.4837 0.05873 153 100 32 21
342 Well, you don't look like your picture either. 1.4835 0.05211 182 116 44 22
343 As you can see, I use protection. 1.4831 0.05358 178 115 40 23
344 I was hoping for more than a one knight stand. 1.4830 0.05575 147 91 41 15
345 It's not what they mean when they say wear protection. 1.4830 0.06132 147 98 27 22
346 So, you came straight from work? 1.4830 0.05158 176 110 47 19
347 You seem a little guarded tonight. 1.4824 0.05292 170 107 44 19
348 It's just a really scary time for men right now. 1.4820 0.06241 139 92 27 20
349 No. I wrote, " I like a good wine and a quiet n-i-g-h-t. 1.4819 0.05248 166 103 46 17
350 I 'm sorry, I'm no longer into one knight stands 1.4819 0.05520 166 107 38 21
351 You’re right. I’m cold, hard and impenetrable. But I can change. 1.4817 0.05079 164 99 51 14
352 It seems you’re just looking for a fight. 1.4817 0.05295 164 102 45 17
353 I understand now why you asked for a round table! 1.4817 0.05081 191 122 46 23
354 I guess there is no need to ask if you brought protection. 1.4815 0.05690 162 106 34 22
355 It's not you, I just have trouble letting my guard down. 1.4813 0.05162 187 120 44 23
356 When I read you were in night school, something different came to mind. 1.4812 0.05391 160 100 43 17
357 It's not you. It's your horse. 1.4811 0.05147 185 118 45 22
358 Sorry, I didn't have time to change. 1.4810 0.05587 158 101 38 19
359 Date Knight. 1.4808 0.05567 156 99 39 18
360 Mama never said there'd be knights like this. 1.4808 0.05641 156 100 37 19
361 You're the first person I've met on this site that looks exactly like their photo! 1.4800 0.05962 150 99 30 21
362 It’s our fourth date, Harvey, but you still seem very defensive. 1.4800 0.05303 200 135 34 31
363 Sure. You can call me 'Fair Maiden' if I can call you 'Sir Sleeps Alone'. 1.4800 0.05810 150 97 34 19
364 Is that your lance under the table or are you just happy to see me? 1.4798 0.05413 173 112 39 22
365 I misunderstood. I thought you worked nights. 1.4797 0.05629 148 93 39 16
366 We could have just established a safe word 1.4795 0.05602 146 91 40 15
367 I specifically requested the Round Table. 1.4794 0.04804 194 120 55 19
368 Actually, my ad said amour. 1.4793 0.05180 169 105 47 17
369 This isn't going to work. You're looking for a damsel in distress and I'm looking for man who isn't stuck in the dark ages. 1.4793 0.05509 169 110 37 22
370 Oh yeah? Try wearing a chastity belt! 1.4790 0.05494 167 108 38 21
371 So, I understand you've been hurt before. 1.4787 0.04856 188 116 54 18
372 You’re awfully guarded. 1.4783 0.05366 161 101 43 17
373 I came straight from work 1.4783 0.04685 184 110 60 14
374 Will this be a one knight stand? 1.4780 0.05771 159 105 32 22
375 Women say I seem guarded. 1.4778 0.05011 180 112 50 18
376 That’s funny. I also carry mace. 1.4775 0.05176 178 113 45 20
377 My friends call me Rusty. 1.4775 0.05237 178 114 43 21
378 My dating skills are a little rusty 1.4774 0.05124 155 93 50 12
379 Actually, your armor isn't the only thing that's dull. 1.4773 0.05029 176 109 50 17
380 It's a very scary time for young men in America. 1.4771 0.05571 153 97 39 17
381 I consider myself a bit of a renaissance man. 1.4765 0.05436 149 92 43 14
382 My kingdom for a straw! 1.4765 0.05157 170 106 47 17
383 Quit the footsies. It hurts. 1.4765 0.05290 170 108 43 19
384 Not the round table you were expecting, I suppose. 1.4762 0.04895 189 118 52 19
385 You are aware it's just a metaphor, aren't you? 1.4762 0.05269 168 106 44 18
386 I said I was looking for AMOUR, not ... oh, forget it 1.4762 0.05469 168 109 38 21
387 What, this old thing? 1.4762 0.05337 168 107 42 19
388 I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling any alchemy between us. 1.4762 0.05738 147 94 36 17
389 I think "DateKnight.com" was pretty self-explanatory 1.4762 0.05403 168 108 40 20
390 He had described himself in his profile as a "chivalrous, outdoorsy, Middle Aged man," but somehow she still felt mislead. 1.4759 0.05161 187 121 43 23
391 You look sharp, Stanley but I'm not looking for a one knight stand. 1.4759 0.05584 166 109 35 22
392 You’re one to talk—your blazer and hairstyle are right out of the 1980s. 1.4759 0.05629 145 91 39 15
393 Your ad said you liked heavy-metal 1.4757 0.05030 185 117 48 20
394 Sorry, but I'm past my one-knight-stand days. 1.4755 0.06023 143 94 30 19
395 Trust me: the way this date is going, you didn't need to bring protection. 1.4754 0.04951 183 114 51 18
396 I know your wife isn’t here, but this is ridiculous, Mr. Vice President. 1.4753 0.05756 162 108 31 23
397 It's just that everything you say sounds like a canned response. 1.4753 0.05195 162 100 47 15
398 I said amore not armor! 1.4751 0.05289 181 118 40 23
399 You're just too guarded... 1.4750 0.05090 160 97 50 13
400 You seem guarded. 1.4749 0.05215 179 115 43 21
401 I enjoy verbal jousting as well. 1.4749 0.04904 179 110 53 16
402 I've also been hurt before. 1.4746 0.05008 177 110 50 17
403 You’re going to have to let your guard down a little. 1.4746 0.04944 177 109 52 16
404 Let me guess. You're sensitive on the inside? 1.4743 0.05114 175 110 47 18
405 I rarely get a knight out. 1.4742 0.05020 194 125 46 23
406 Sure, your place, if you have a wrench. 1.4740 0.05768 154 101 33 20
407 When your profile said you were into heavy metal I thought it meant hard rock. 1.4740 0.05222 173 110 44 19
408 I’m kinda rusty at this too. 1.4734 0.04970 169 103 52 14
409 Why don't you just get a flu shot already? 1.4731 0.05686 167 112 31 24
410 Well, yes, I have been told I’m a little guarded. 1.4730 0.05377 148 91 44 13
411 I know I said I preferred a quiet knight with a glass of red... 1.4728 0.05223 184 120 41 23
412 That’s not my lance. 1.4724 0.04822 199 126 52 21
413 Well, you don't look anything like your Tinder photo either." 1.4722 0.05071 180 114 47 19
414 Well, you don't look like my damsel in distress either. 1.4721 0.05117 197 130 41 26
415 Excuse me if I'm a little rusty. 1.4719 0.05113 178 113 46 19
416 Apparently the dating service doesn't understand metaphors. 1.4718 0.05887 142 92 33 17
417 I see you brought protection. 1.4717 0.05414 159 101 41 17
418 So how do you like the Date Knight app? 1.4717 0.05188 159 98 47 14
419 This isn't 'just a phase,' Carol. 1.4717 0.05487 159 102 39 18
420 So, Arthur, what do you do for a living? 1.4713 0.05312 157 98 44 15
421 So that's why you requested a round table. 1.4713 0.04937 174 107 52 15
422 So you’re happy now that we got a round table? 1.4713 0.05569 174 117 32 25
423 This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I wrote middle age in my profile. 1.4713 0.05069 174 109 48 17
424 So I'm wearing a suit. Are you happy now? 1.4713 0.05134 174 110 46 18
425 I know you wore it in your profile pic but I thought that just meant you had a good sense of humor. 1.4710 0.05283 155 96 45 14
426 I wish just once you'd open up a little. 1.4710 0.05439 155 98 41 16
427 Or, you could just get a flu shot. 1.4709 0.05308 172 111 41 20
428 Another blind date, another awkward knight out. 1.4706 0.05354 170 110 40 20
429 Um, my dating profile actually specified that I was desperately seeking a middle-aged man, not a man from the Middle Ages. 1.4706 0.05354 170 110 40 20
430 Being middle aged doesn’t mean we have to dress that way! 1.4706 0.05354 170 110 40 20
431 When I said I was into the British Invasion I meant 60's rock, not the crusades. 1.4702 0.05401 168 109 39 20
432 I can see why you have problems with intimacy. 1.4699 0.05175 166 104 46 16
433 I said amour. Amour! 1.4699 0.05450 166 108 38 20
434 I get it, you've been hurt before... 1.4696 0.04989 181 114 49 18
435 Well, your profile clearly stated you were into heavy metal. 1.4696 0.05110 181 116 45 20
436 So, how do you know Susan? 1.4695 0.05075 164 101 49 14
437 Sorry, but it takes about 3 people and some screw drivers to get me to open up 1.4695 0.05220 164 103 45 16
438 I’d love to date again but I’m a little rusty. 1.4695 0.05148 164 102 47 15
439 You seem a bit guarded. 1.4691 0.05481 162 105 38 19
440 You looked shinier in your profile picture. 1.4688 0.05314 160 101 43 16
441 When your ad said middle-aged man, I’m afraid I drew the wrong conclusion. 1.4688 0.05004 192 124 46 22
442 By the way, fun fact - I’m also wearing an ankle monitor. 1.4686 0.04982 175 109 50 16
443 You would probably meet more people if you were less guarded. 1.4684 0.05132 158 97 48 13
444 It was metaphorical, Jack. 1.4682 0.05220 173 111 43 19
445 I thought you said 'amour' 1.4681 0.05082 188 122 44 22
446 So, I take it that you have intimacy issues. 1.4679 0.05489 156 100 39 17
447 Sorry, I'm not into one knight stands. 1.4678 0.05394 171 112 38 21
448 Yes, you did say that you were into heavy metal..... 1.4678 0.05394 171 112 38 21
449 I said I wanted a night of amour, not a knight of armor! 1.4677 0.05066 186 120 45 21
450 And you must be Lance. 1.4670 0.04968 182 115 49 18
451 When I asked if you had protection, that wasn't what I had in mind. 1.4667 0.05473 165 108 37 20
452 For God's sake, Frank, you have my consent to raise your visor. 1.4667 0.05643 135 84 39 12
453 This would be my first one knight stand. 1.4667 0.05069 180 115 46 19
454 Another one knight stand... 1.4659 0.05153 176 113 44 19
455 For some reason they always seat me at the round table 1.4659 0.05026 176 111 48 17
456 So the break-up left you feeling vulnerable. 1.4659 0.05026 176 111 48 17
457 Well, this has certainly been a knight to forget. 1.4658 0.05434 161 104 39 18
458 Are you sure you’re not bothered by our difference in age? 1.4655 0.05197 174 112 43 19
459 I'm glad to see you finally got off your high horse. 1.4654 0.05030 159 97 50 12
460 Most women like the plume. 1.4653 0.05479 144 90 41 13
461 It's a very scary time for men in America. 1.4652 0.05102 187 122 43 22
462 We'd probably have the bread basket by now if you hadn't called her "wench". 1.4651 0.05432 172 114 36 22
463 You and the horse you rode in on. 1.4650 0.05310 157 99 43 15
464 Oh, swell. Another one knight stand. 1.4647 0.05543 170 114 33 23
465 I'm looking for someone a little less rigid. 1.4647 0.05085 170 107 47 16
466 I said I wanted a romantic night! 1.4645 0.05008 183 117 47 19
467 I said I was seeking amour, not armor. 1.4645 0.05067 183 118 45 20
468 You seem defensive tonight 1.4643 0.04987 168 104 50 14
469 I'll be honest - I have a hard time being vulnerable. 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
470 I can't tell you the last time I had a knight out 1.4634 0.05359 164 106 40 18
471 So that's what you meant by Renaissance man. 1.4634 0.05146 164 103 46 15
472 So I see you prefer a round table over a booth. 1.4634 0.05429 164 107 38 19
473 "Diane, this might be a little forward on our first date, but for baby names, I like, Lance a lot" 1.4633 0.05375 177 118 36 23
474 Everyone’s looking for a knight in shining armor, but no one ever asks me what I’m looking for. 1.4629 0.04913 175 109 51 15
475 I'm in the White House press corps, why do you ask? 1.4629 0.05237 175 114 41 20
476 Don't worry. I'll wear protection. 1.4628 0.05136 188 124 41 23
477 Yes, you got us the round table. I'm very impressed. 1.4626 0.05733 147 96 34 17
478 Don’t worry, I’ve dated men with tough exteriors before.” 1.4625 0.04766 160 95 56 9
479 All I said was, "We need to talk." 1.4624 0.05087 173 110 46 17
480 My profile said middle aged not Middle Ages... 1.4624 0.04953 173 108 50 15
481 And the horse you came in on? 1.4624 0.05021 173 109 48 16
482 Looks like another one knight stand. 1.4624 0.05121 186 122 42 22
483 I misread your personal ad – I thought it said you were looking for someone "middle aged." 1.4620 0.05130 171 109 45 17
484 Wow, this suit really makes a fart sound like a foghorn! 1.4619 0.05114 197 132 39 26
485 You've got a little something stuck in your helmet. 1.4615 0.05767 143 93 34 16
486 I told you when you called that I had no interest in a one-knight stand. 1.4611 0.05488 167 111 35 21
487 I'll have the swordfish. 1.4611 0.05287 167 108 41 18
488 Our relationship would be a lot stronger if you'd just let your guard down 1.4610 0.05303 154 97 43 14
489 When it comes to dating, I'm a little rusty. 1.4607 0.04983 178 113 48 17
490 Do I look like a woman in distress? 1.4607 0.04919 178 112 50 16
491 At best, this will be a one knight stand. 1.4607 0.04854 178 111 52 15
492 Why are you always so defensive? 1.4606 0.05604 165 111 32 22
493 I just feel like you're masking your true feelings. 1.4606 0.05194 165 105 44 16
494 When you said you were a Renaissance man I was picturing something a little different 1.4606 0.05122 165 104 46 15
495 So then after I graduated from knight school... 1.4605 0.05103 152 93 48 11
496 I don’t know why you’re surprised—I told you I reserved a round table. 1.4605 0.05669 152 100 34 18
497 I understand. We’ve all been wounded. 1.4602 0.04826 176 109 53 14
498 I've been told it's a scary time for men. 1.4602 0.05023 176 112 47 17
499 My entry under Interests said: " amour" not "armor." 1.4602 0.05457 176 119 33 24
500 My personal did say middle aged! 1.4601 0.05452 163 107 37 19
501 My personal ad said that I'm looking for 'amour' not 'armor'! 1.4599 0.05099 187 123 42 22
502 I told the agency I liked middle aged men, not men from thee Middle Ages 1.4598 0.05321 174 115 38 21
503 This is so much more intimate than my usual round table. 1.4596 0.05061 161 100 48 13
504 What am I looking for in a woman? That's easy. Distress. 1.4596 0.05212 161 102 44 15
505 I hope this date doesn't end up as just another one knight stand. 1.4593 0.05303 172 113 39 20
506 Could thee get me a straw? 1.4593 0.05303 172 113 39 20
507 No, I don't know how astronauts use the bathroom. 1.4593 0.05107 172 110 45 17
508 Yeah, and I'm a dead ringer for Guinevere. 1.4590 0.04631 183 112 58 13
509 So, you took me literally. 1.4589 0.04680 207 133 53 21
510 Am I sensing some disenchantment? 1.4588 0.05414 170 113 36 21
511 Stop being so defensive. 1.4588 0.05349 170 112 38 20
512 I said ‘date night’, not ‘date knight.’ 1.4588 0.05218 170 110 42 18
513 I really need to remove "seeks strong,silent type" from my dating profile. 1.4588 0.05082 170 108 46 16
514 You do know what a metaphor is, right? 1.4586 0.05046 181 117 45 19
515 I can't believe you made us wait an extra hour for a round table. 1.4586 0.05225 181 120 39 22
516 So....why did you insist on a round table? 1.4586 0.05283 181 121 37 23
517 It’s our third date. Will you at least tell me your pronoun? 1.4583 0.05296 144 89 44 11
518 You seem to have some trust issues. 1.4583 0.05330 168 110 39 19
519 I meant date night,not date knight. 1.4583 0.05397 168 111 37 20
520 Let me guess. You don't have pockets for your wallet? 1.4581 0.05586 155 102 35 18
521 Your profile said you were a man in the Middle Ages but I thought that meant you were 45-65. 1.4581 0.05586 155 102 35 18
522 Maybe I'm wrong, but you seem a bit defensive tonight. 1.4581 0.05277 155 98 43 14
523 Sue never said you were middle-aged. 1.4578 0.05377 166 109 38 19
524 I said I wanted a NIGHT out on the town. 1.4578 0.05377 166 109 38 19
525 Thanks for choosing the round table. 1.4578 0.05377 166 109 38 19
526 I take it vulnerability is not your strong point. 1.4575 0.05326 153 97 42 14
527 I'm a little rusty at this dating thing. 1.4575 0.05078 153 94 48 11
528 But anyways, enough about my personal crusades. What do you like to do on the weekends? 1.4573 0.04843 164 100 53 11
529 This is definitely going to be my last one knight stand! 1.4573 0.05426 164 108 37 19
530 Would you mind taking your glasses off? 1.4573 0.05494 164 109 35 20
531 We’d be on dessert by now if you hadn’t insisted on waiting for a round table. 1.4570 0.05286 186 126 35 25
532 Leather, I could understand. 1.4566 0.05018 173 110 47 16
533 My mother always told me to wear protection. 1.4565 0.04802 184 116 52 16
534 Yeah, so I lied too. I am not really a queen. 1.4563 0.05455 160 105 37 18
535 John, it's no longer funny when you order the 'Sir Loin'. 1.4558 0.05308 147 92 43 12
536 I wouldn't say I'm a damsel, but I'm definitely distressed. 1.4556 0.05371 169 112 37 20
537 Sorry. I'm rusty at this. 1.4551 0.05075 167 106 46 15
538 Sometimes I feel like you're not in there anymore. 1.4551 0.04916 178 113 49 16
539 My other suit is at the smithy's. 1.4551 0.05106 178 116 43 19
540 I think you took what I was looking for too literally. 1.4545 0.05379 154 99 40 15
541 I totally agree, its a dangerous time to be a man. 1.4545 0.05148 176 115 42 19
542 It's a very scary time for young men in America right now. 1.4545 0.05848 143 95 31 17
543 How long have you been a mail man? 1.4545 0.05602 165 112 31 22
544 When Janet described you, I thought she was speaking metaphorically 1.4545 0.05514 176 121 30 25
545 Well, my profile did mention I was middle aged. 1.4540 0.05318 174 116 37 21
546 So, you're from LaMancha? Is that near Toledo? 1.4540 0.04939 163 101 50 12
547 A knight out. Very funny. 1.4540 0.05090 163 103 46 14
548 So it really was a current photo. 1.4539 0.05666 152 101 33 18
549 I have intimacy issues. 1.4530 0.04920 181 116 48 17
550 I have a hard time opening up to people 1.4529 0.04869 170 106 51 13
551 You might as well get the swordfish. 1.4528 0.05478 159 105 36 18
552 Yes, your profile said you're into heavy metal... 1.4528 0.05331 159 103 40 16
553 Over time David learned to cope with Susan's sharp tongue. 1.4527 0.05699 148 98 33 17
554 Lance, you know I prefer a booth, but you always insist on a round table. 1.4527 0.05618 148 97 35 16
555 Well, you don't look like *your* photo either. 1.4526 0.04980 190 125 44 21
556 I know my profile said I was into heavy metal... 1.4525 0.04831 179 113 51 15
557 This date is a knightmare. 1.4524 0.05123 168 108 44 16
558 I hope this isn't another one knight stand! 1.4524 0.05260 168 110 40 18
559 Your Tinder profile didn’t mention you were into heavy metal. 1.4521 0.05131 188 126 39 23
560 I’ll need a little help when the soup comes. 1.4521 0.05838 146 98 30 18
561 I was hoping you'd have a bit more polish. 1.4520 0.05310 177 119 36 22
562 The flu shot just doesn't seem to be enough anymore. 1.4518 0.05306 166 109 39 18
563 You should be very happy - the maitre d' gave us the only round table. 1.4518 0.05237 166 108 41 17
564 This wasn’t what I meant when I said I like guys into heavy metal. 1.4516 0.05657 155 104 32 19
565 Sorry, I came straight from work. 1.4516 0.05353 155 100 40 15
566 Oh, you said 'amour'... 1.4514 0.05104 175 114 43 18
567 Yes, I've been hurt a few times. How can you tell? 1.4513 0.04664 195 124 54 17
568 Sorry, but I think your party is sitting at the larger round table, behind you. 1.4512 0.05212 164 106 42 16
569 I made sure to reserve a round table. 1.4511 0.04799 184 117 51 16
570 You seem a little closed off. 1.4510 0.05323 153 98 41 14
571 Its so refreshing when someone's profile photo actually matches them in person. 1.4510 0.05712 153 103 31 19
572 How would you have dressed for a square table? 1.4509 0.05147 173 113 42 18
573 The suit is a rental but I own the lance. 1.4509 0.04947 173 110 48 15
574 Well, mainly because Brett Kavanaugh is a much more common name than people realize. 1.4508 0.04811 193 125 49 19
575 Is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 1.4506 0.05402 162 107 37 18
576 Regrettably, Gwen had assumed her date’s online profile promising “a knight to remember” included a typo. 1.4506 0.05110 162 103 45 14
577 That's not what I meant when I said make sure to bring protection. 1.4505 0.05141 182 121 40 21
578 I liked you better in the hallway 1.4500 0.05664 160 109 30 21
579 And then ideally I’d slay the dragon and save the princess. What about you? What’s your perfect date? 1.4500 0.05231 160 103 42 15
580 Defensive? I’m not being defensive! 1.4500 0.05379 160 105 38 17
581 I don't care how big your sword is, Mr. Lancelot. 1.4497 0.05434 169 114 34 21
582 Well, I see being middle aged as a good thing. 1.4497 0.05168 169 110 42 17
583 I wasn't in distress until you called me a 'damsel.' 1.4497 0.05302 169 112 38 19
584 Sorry. I've no interest in a one-knight stand. 1.4497 0.05302 169 112 38 19
585 You seem nice, and all, but I like my knights in white satin. 1.4494 0.05165 178 118 40 20
586 So, when I was young they called me Lance, a lot. 1.4494 0.05354 158 103 39 16
587 Mother always said be careful what you wish for. 1.4491 0.05212 167 109 41 17
588 It's been ages since my last blind date. I'm a bit rusty. 1.4489 0.05082 176 115 43 18
589 I identify as Medieval. You? 1.4489 0.04952 176 113 47 16
590 I told the dating service that I wanted a NIGHT person" 1.4487 0.05248 156 100 42 14
591 This is my last 'one-knight' stand. 1.4486 0.04901 185 120 47 18
592 I have not been on a date in ages! 1.4485 0.05465 165 111 34 20
593 I know I can seem a bit guarded. 1.4485 0.04564 194 122 57 15
594 Thank you for getting off your high horse -- now, if you just open up and talk to me. 1.4483 0.05124 174 114 42 18
595 Interested in a one knight stand? 1.4483 0.05867 145 98 29 18
596 It’s the armor, isn’t it? 1.4481 0.05059 183 121 42 20
597 You were shinier in your profile. 1.4479 0.04884 192 126 46 20
598 So your profile said you're a damsel in distress. 1.4479 0.05376 163 108 37 18
599 I'm smiling on the inside. 1.4477 0.04756 172 107 53 12
600 Fine. Fine. Just keep your sword in your pants. 1.4474 0.05345 152 98 40 14
601 I’m getting hints of tobacco, leather, and just a slight metallic finish. 1.4474 0.04807 190 123 49 18
602 I guess I keep my guard up in some ways, too. 1.4472 0.04737 161 98 54 9
603 It would be a lot easier if you just got the flu shot. 1.4472 0.05635 161 110 30 21
604 You know, it's a very scary time for young men in America. 1.4469 0.05142 179 119 40 20
605 You don't need that. I'm on the pill. 1.4469 0.04892 179 115 48 16
606 Pick up the check? I can hardly pick up my glass! 1.4468 0.04784 188 121 50 17
607 You ever think YOU’RE the one being defensive? 1.4465 0.05252 159 103 41 15
608 You don't look like your profile either. 1.4465 0.05401 159 105 37 17
609 I can totally relate. I call my first marriage the Dark Ages. 1.4464 0.04978 168 107 47 14
610 Why must you always be so defensive? 1.4464 0.05188 168 110 41 17
611 I said looking for a single night. Damn autocorrect. 1.4464 0.05456 168 114 33 21
612 I always use protection. 1.4464 0.05521 168 115 31 22
613 I can see you're not ready for commitment. 1.4464 0.05049 168 108 45 15
614 A screwdriver would be better 1.4463 0.05059 177 116 43 18
615 You are too defensive. I didn't say dull, I said you're a little tarnished. 1.4462 0.04717 195 126 51 18
616 I'm being defensive?!? 1.4459 0.05531 148 97 36 15
617 Usually my dates don't put on protection until after dinner. 1.4459 0.05695 148 99 32 17
618 My chastity belt is killing me. 1.4457 0.05101 175 115 42 18
619 Just for ONCE could we sit at a SQUARE table/ 1.4457 0.04971 175 113 46 16
620 Want to get a little errant? 1.4457 0.04858 184 119 48 17
621 I just don't feel like you ever let your guard down. 1.4456 0.04919 193 128 44 21
622 Medieval Studies at Indiana. Why do you ask? 1.4451 0.04836 164 102 51 11
623 I transitioned to heavy metal after gothic rock. 1.4451 0.05461 173 119 31 23
624 My therapist says I need to work on letting my guard down. 1.4451 0.05209 173 115 39 19
625 'Tis not thou, 'tis me. 1.4451 0.05209 173 115 39 19
626 Did you order the WD 40? 1.4451 0.05078 173 113 43 17
627 Something tells me you've been hurt before. 1.4451 0.04896 182 118 47 17
628 The service is terrible here, I've been waiting ages. 1.4444 0.04522 189 118 58 13
629 I'm actually an accountant by day. This is just my knight job. 1.4444 0.04823 189 123 48 18
630 For me, you're just another one knight stand...... 1.4444 0.05053 171 111 44 16
631 Worst date knight ever. 1.4444 0.05327 162 107 38 17
632 you need to let your guard down 1.4444 0.05181 162 105 42 15
633 I said I wanted amour. 1.4444 0.05119 180 120 40 20
634 Thank you for wearing protection Bob. 1.4444 0.04807 180 115 50 15
635 Your ad said, 'Tall, funny, middle-ages'. 1.4444 0.04915 171 109 48 14
636 I was hoping for someone middle-aged, not from the Middle Ages. 1.4444 0.05556 153 102 34 17
637 It is just one glass of wine, you won't become unhinged 1.4444 0.05318 153 99 40 14
638 So — what do you do? 1.4439 0.04740 187 120 51 16
639 Let me guess. This is going to be a one-knight stand, right? 1.4439 0.04740 187 120 51 16
640 I overdressed again didn't I? 1.4439 0.04740 187 120 51 16
641 This is a very scary time for young men in America. 1.4438 0.05162 178 119 39 20
642 It’s just that you’ve become so...guarded... 1.4438 0.05026 169 109 45 15
643 Wow! You really meant it when you said you wear "protection!" 1.4438 0.05299 169 113 37 19
644 I really thought you would get us a better table, Arthur. 1.4438 0.05095 169 110 43 16
645 The aluminum tariffs have hit us especially hard 1.4438 0.05074 160 102 45 13
646 I specifically requested the round table, just for you. 1.4438 0.05519 160 108 33 19
647 I just wish you would understand that there is a person in here 1.4437 0.05201 151 96 43 12
648 I swear, this isn't a one knight stand. 1.4432 0.05014 176 115 44 17
649 I'm not really in to heavy-metal. 1.4432 0.05205 176 118 38 20
650 I feel like I can never get through to you. 1.4432 0.04949 176 114 46 16
651 My ex girlfriend told me I had a hard time letting my guard down. 1.4431 0.05068 167 108 44 15
652 Sorry, I’m just not into Heavy Metal. 1.4431 0.05277 167 111 38 18
653 So... you’re in between jobs? 1.4431 0.05277 167 111 38 18
654 I can’t open up. 1.4431 0.05139 167 109 42 16
655 So let me get this straight, you slayed a dragon but had to have the sommelier open the twist cap off the wine. 1.4430 0.05498 158 106 34 18
656 I gotta be honest, I never do anything on the first knight. 1.4430 0.05498 158 106 34 18
657 You looked a lot shinier in your picture. 1.4430 0.05349 158 104 38 16
658 How would I know if the men's room has a socket wrench? 1.4430 0.05498 158 106 34 18
659 We've both changed. But you've tarnished. 1.4430 0.05419 149 97 38 14
660 Yes, your profile said you are into heavy metal. My bad. 1.4427 0.04768 192 125 49 18
661 Well, yes, I guess I am happy to see that you are wearing protection but... 1.4426 0.05231 183 125 35 23
662 When your singles profile said that you were a renaissance man, I didn't think it was literal. 1.4424 0.05112 165 107 43 15
663 What can I say? It’s a scary time to be a man. 1.4422 0.05472 147 96 37 14
664 Just because there is a sale doesn't mean you have to buy it. 1.4421 0.04861 190 125 46 19
665 Well, you look nothing like your dating profile picture either. 1.4421 0.04975 190 127 42 21
666 I feel like you’re being defensive. 1.4421 0.05085 190 129 38 23
667 It's hard to see eye-to-eye with you. 1.4419 0.04752 172 108 52 12
668 Please tell me you’re in distress. 1.4419 0.04823 172 109 50 13
669 I told them I wanted a date tonight, not a knight to date. 1.4419 0.05229 172 115 38 19
670 I thought by our third date, you'd let your guard down. 1.4416 0.05129 154 98 44 12
671 It’s just so difficult to open up on a first date. 1.4415 0.04660 188 120 53 15
672 I don’t know, you just seem so guarded these days. 1.4414 0.05696 145 97 32 16
673 When you said you were coming straight from Knight school I thought you meant something else... 1.4412 0.04862 170 108 49 13
674 So tell me: Why is this knight different from every other knight? 1.4410 0.05348 161 107 37 17
675 We know its you Mr. Kavanagh. 1.4410 0.05201 161 105 41 15
676 You always seem so guarded 1.4409 0.04756 186 120 50 16
677 Was everything OK at work? You seem a bit defensive. 1.4408 0.05259 152 98 41 13
678 When your profile promised “a knight to remember”, I prayed you were just a terrible speller. 1.4407 0.05181 177 119 38 20
679 Well, I appreciate that you use protection. 1.4407 0.05181 177 119 38 20
680 I take it you're only interested in a one-knight stand? 1.4405 0.05387 168 114 34 20
681 Yes, it's a ROUND table. I get it. 1.4405 0.04974 168 108 46 14
682 You're a lot older-looking than your profile picture. 1.4403 0.05323 159 105 38 16
683 For this relationship to go anyway; you need to let your guard down 1.4403 0.05248 159 104 40 15
684 I haven't dated in awhile, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. 1.4402 0.05151 184 125 37 22
685 How far back do you want to go? 1.4400 0.05474 150 99 36 15
686 I think you misunderstood me when I said I wanted a night out on the town. 1.4400 0.05791 150 103 28 19
687 I’m sure they would have taken that at coat check. 1.4398 0.05159 166 109 41 16
688 My friend said 'Renaissance man', but you look positively Medieval. 1.4397 0.05169 141 88 44 9
689 You know it's a metaphor, right? 1.4396 0.04702 182 116 52 14
690 Yeah, I know...it's a really scary time for boys and men right now. 1.4394 0.06013 132 89 28 15
691 I'm sorry but I haven't dated in Ages. 1.4393 0.05007 173 113 44 16
692 I'm just guessing, but do you have problems with intimacy​ 1.4393 0.04660 173 108 54 11
693 I just don't want to get hurt again. 1.4393 0.04871 173 111 48 14
694 Leonard, "verbal jousting" is a figure of speech. 1.4392 0.05358 148 96 39 13
695 This isn’t going to work unless you can open up to me. 1.4390 0.05131 164 107 42 15
696 Shall we drink to a one knight stand? 1.4389 0.05295 180 124 33 23
697 I liked you better when chivalry was dead... 1.4389 0.04993 180 119 43 18
698 It was my only clean suit 1.4386 0.04547 171 105 57 9
699 Here's to a knight that you won't forget. 1.4385 0.05031 187 126 40 21
700 Honestly, I think we can just be two women having a drink, without this elaborate disguise. 1.4384 0.05665 146 98 32 16
701 It's an open relationship. Whenever he gets to have a night out, I get to have a knight in. 1.4383 0.05250 162 107 39 16
702 Who knew they were going to ban straws? 1.4383 0.05394 162 109 35 18
703 You seem rather defensive. 1.4382 0.05033 178 118 42 18
704 Why do you always have to be so defensive? 1.4382 0.05096 178 119 40 19
705 But enough about me, how do you feel about beheadings? 1.4382 0.05033 178 118 42 18
706 I have an idea on what may have happened here. I told the dating service lady that I enjoy quiet nights. 1.4379 0.05314 153 100 39 14
707 Some say I'm too guarded 1.4379 0.05091 169 111 42 16
708 I am the dark and stormy knight! 1.4375 0.04945 176 115 45 16
709 You never really let your guard down with me. 1.4375 0.04912 160 101 48 11
710 And now I have to deal with these ridiculous bans on straws. 1.4371 0.05064 167 109 43 15
711 Oh. It's speed dating for the middle-aged, not the Middle Ages. 1.4371 0.05204 167 111 39 17
712 Well, you're not exactly what I pictured as my Lady in Waiting either! 1.4371 0.05204 167 111 39 17
713 I don't know why you always make such a big deal about sitting at a round table. 1.4371 0.05273 167 112 37 18
714 You strike me as a guy with intimacy issues" 1.4368 0.04640 174 109 54 11
715 I'm naked underneath. 1.4367 0.05420 158 106 35 17
716 Frankly I think its presumptuous to wear protection on our first date 1.4367 0.05420 158 106 35 17
717 There were perfectly fine square tables we didn't have to wait an hour for. 1.4367 0.05567 158 108 31 19
718 I know: I look nothing like my profile. I've gone through a sort of renaissance. 1.4366 0.05782 142 96 30 16
719 Yet another boring knight alone. 1.4365 0.05033 181 121 41 19
720 Let me guess. This is your idea of ‘irony.’ 1.4364 0.05250 165 110 38 17
721 Well, you're as up to date as most men these days. 1.4364 0.05179 165 109 40 16
722 OK, I get it - you don't want to talk. 1.4364 0.04885 165 105 48 12
723 The sitter just called. The peasants are in revolt again. 1.4364 0.05250 165 110 38 17
724 Your profile said Under Armour. I was thinking athletic. 1.4364 0.05179 165 109 40 16
725 I think you're being defensive. 1.4362 0.05244 149 96 41 12
726 Knight on the town 1.4360 0.05290 172 117 35 20
727 I asked for a "night" to remember... 1.4360 0.04958 172 112 45 15
728 Don't expect me to be a pawn. 1.4360 0.05093 172 114 41 17
729 I'm a bit rusty on the dating scene. 1.4360 0.04958 172 112 45 15
730 I guess this qualifies as incognito, but you're still attracting attention. 1.4359 0.05078 156 100 44 12
731 I think that your therapist is an idiot, Harold. 1.4359 0.05078 156 100 44 12
732 After the divorce I said to myself, ‘You’ve got to get back on the horse.’ 1.4359 0.04711 195 128 49 18
733 Well, now that you mention it, you're not what I expected either." 1.4358 0.04948 179 118 44 17
734 I have a hard time letting people in. 1.4358 0.04688 179 114 52 13
735 I'm not into Heavy Metal. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
736 The Round Table is a lot smaller than I thought." 1.4356 0.05296 163 109 37 17
737 So ma'am, how long have you been in distress? 1.4356 0.05151 163 107 41 15
738 That's not exactly what I meant when I asked you to bring protection. 1.4356 0.05367 163 110 35 18
739 I told you I wasn't ready for a face-to-face meeting. 1.4355 0.04813 186 122 47 17
740 You seem a little defensive for a first date. 1.4354 0.05551 147 98 34 15
741 Apparently we have different expectations for date knight. 1.4354 0.05381 147 96 38 13
742 Look, I thought we sorted this out last time. I did not mean to stab you with the fork. 1.4353 0.04999 170 111 44 15
743 I guess you could say I am guarded. 1.4353 0.05136 170 113 40 17
744 Well at least you look like your profile picture. 1.4351 0.05366 154 102 37 15
745 This isn't quite the date knight I imagined. 1.4350 0.04857 177 115 47 15
746 If you think it's a scary time for men now, just wait till November 6th. 1.4350 0.05479 177 125 27 25
747 If you'll excuse me, I must use the men's room. I'll be right back in an hour and a half. 1.4348 0.05535 138 90 36 12
748 And that's how I became the King of England. So, what do you do for work? 1.4348 0.05147 184 126 36 22
749 Of course, it’s not ALL raping and pillaging, but we have fun. 1.4348 0.05121 161 105 42 14
750 I know everyone's a little guarded on the first date, but this is ridiculous. 1.4348 0.05121 161 105 42 14
751 Another blind date, another bad knight. 1.4345 0.05111 168 111 41 16
752 Why the long mace? 1.4343 0.04691 175 111 52 12
753 What's your problem? Your profile said 'love heavy metal.' 1.4343 0.05157 175 118 38 19
754 Oh, I thought you said you went to "night" school. 1.4342 0.05336 152 100 38 14
755 Yes, but I also enjoy verbal jousting. 1.4341 0.04762 182 118 49 15
756 It's just hard to get through to you... 1.4341 0.04826 182 119 47 16
757 This isn't what I meant when I told you to bring some protection. 1.4341 0.04950 182 121 43 18
758 Frankly I think your attitude is positively medieval. 1.4340 0.05166 159 104 41 14
759 I pictured something else when I read "Man of Steel" in your profile. 1.4340 0.05318 159 106 37 16
760 Not what I meant when I said I wanted a night out, Jerry. 1.4337 0.05363 166 113 34 19
761 I wasn’t in distress until you sat at my table. 1.4337 0.05083 166 109 42 15
762 What kind of relationship can we expect if you won't open up? 1.4337 0.05430 166 114 32 20
763 No, your knight will not be taking my queen. 1.4335 0.05136 173 116 39 18
764 I like you a lot, Lance. 1.4335 0.04936 173 113 45 15
765 Knight cap?? 1.4333 0.04734 180 116 50 14
766 Queen checks knight 1.4333 0.05468 150 100 35 15
767 You just seem a little defensive. 1.4333 0.05386 150 99 37 14
768 Miriam! It's been ages! 1.4333 0.05051 180 121 40 19
769 Clerking for Kavanaugh? 1.4331 0.05443 157 106 34 17
770 I swear, this is the last time I use a figure of speech in a personal ad. 1.4329 0.05199 164 109 39 16
771 That's not what I mean about always wearing protection, son. 1.4329 0.05411 164 112 33 19
772 Well, you looked a lot less middle-aged online too. 1.4327 0.04764 171 109 50 12
773 You seem a little stiff. 1.4327 0.04976 171 112 44 15
774 I meant "Knight in Shining Armor" as a metaphor, Ronald. 1.4326 0.04901 178 117 45 16
775 What makes you say I'm old fashioned? 1.4324 0.04644 185 119 52 14
776 I don't think this is going to work out. You're always so guarded. 1.4322 0.04416 199 127 58 14
777 Should we start with the WD-40? 1.4320 0.05017 169 111 43 15
778 I care about the environment, too, but I need a straw. 1.4318 0.04941 176 116 44 16
779 Would you say you’re an introvert? 1.4318 0.04941 176 116 44 16
780 I was hoping for a one knight stand. 1.4316 0.04738 190 125 48 17
781 As you can imagine, I hate the ban on straws 1.4314 0.05308 153 101 38 14
782 This is nice. I like their round tables. 1.4311 0.05269 167 113 36 18
783 Is that your jousting pole or are you just happy to meet me? 1.4309 0.05149 181 124 36 21
784 Stop complaining. You're not the one wearing a chastity belt. 1.4309 0.05209 181 125 34 22
785 I think I'll start with a few squirts of 3 in 1 oil. 1.4309 0.05782 123 80 33 10
786 Your move 1.4309 0.04713 188 123 49 16
787 I'm not sure a relationship can be built on plague, pestilence, and death. But I'm willing to try. 1.4306 0.05275 144 93 40 11
788 I gotta remember to be less literal on my second wish." 1.4305 0.05275 151 99 39 13
789 My friends call me Lance ....... joust kidding! 1.4305 0.05520 151 102 33 16
790 I guess you are pleased that we are at a round table! 1.4304 0.05489 158 108 32 18
791 I thought your message said you were enamoured. 1.4303 0.05315 165 112 35 18
792 It's a really scary time for men right now. 1.4302 0.04884 172 112 46 14
793 "It's a little heavy, but the SPF rating is great. 1.4302 0.04814 172 111 48 13
794 So I hear you like to dance. I like to lance. A lot. 1.4302 0.04880 179 118 45 16
795 I think your text autocorrected amour. 1.4295 0.05734 149 103 28 18
796 It's just my luck to find a genie that's way too literal. 1.4295 0.05540 156 107 31 18
797 As a restaurant critic I must protect my identity. 1.4295 0.05389 156 105 35 16
798 I hate it when you go all medieval on me, Morty. 1.4295 0.05233 156 103 39 14
799 I'll be impressed when you pick up the check. 1.4295 0.04647 156 96 53 7
800 ("Note to self: Spell Check won't catch 'Seeking a pleasant knight out.'") 1.4294 0.05146 163 108 40 15
801 I'm not being defensive. You're being defensive. 1.4294 0.05502 163 113 30 20
802 You're so guarded. 1.4294 0.05146 163 108 40 15
803 This time don't leave the tip in farthings. 1.4294 0.05146 163 108 40 15
804 Well you look nothing like your profile picture either! 1.4294 0.04924 170 111 45 14
805 What kind of knight in shining amour forgets his wallet? 1.4294 0.05199 170 115 37 18
806 Your helmet looked bigger online. 1.4294 0.05132 170 114 39 17
807 It's getting hard to not feel like you're shutting me out. 1.4294 0.04853 177 116 46 15
808 Of course I love Camelot Harry. I'm just saying it couldn't hurt to see a shrink. 1.4294 0.04786 177 115 48 14
809 That's not what I meant when I asked if you had protection. 1.4286 0.05439 154 104 34 16
810 My therapist says I struggle to let myself be vulnerable. 1.4286 0.05266 161 108 37 16
811 Sorry about that. I guess I'm a little rusty. 1.4286 0.05281 154 102 38 14
812 This isn't my first round table. 1.4286 0.04964 168 110 44 14
813 So, on the third date you wear protection 1.4286 0.05361 154 103 36 15
814 I can't help feeling that you're hiding something from me, Frank. 1.4286 0.05482 161 111 31 19
815 Hey, no need to get defensive. 1.4286 0.05116 161 106 41 14
816 And the cell-phone reception is fantastic! 1.4286 0.05192 161 107 39 15
817 My profile did say I was interested in men into heavy metal, but I had something else in mind. 1.4286 0.05378 140 91 38 11
818 It's the only round table they had. 1.4286 0.04694 189 124 49 16
819 This is a very scary time for young men. 1.4286 0.04884 182 121 44 17
820 Haven't you heard? Men are under attack. 1.4286 0.05153 175 119 37 19
821 Let's get out of here, the knight is young. 1.4277 0.04932 166 108 45 13
822 You’re going to the men’s room? How long will you be gone? 1.4277 0.05220 166 112 37 17
823 Of course I’m in distress. I just don’t need rescuing. 1.4277 0.05083 159 104 42 13
824 So I see you’re into heavy metal. 1.4277 0.05161 159 105 40 14
825 Sorry, I'm looking for someone less guarded. 1.4277 0.05005 159 103 44 12
826 Safe sex, huh? 1.4276 0.05248 152 100 39 13
827 I just got out a relationship with a Renaissance man. 1.4276 0.05330 152 101 37 14
828 It's just so hard to read you sometimes. 1.4276 0.05330 152 101 37 14
829 Whaddya say we go back to my castle and I slip into my Under Armour? 1.4276 0.05427 145 96 36 13
830 When I said, "I'm into heavy metal," this isn't quite what I meant. 1.4275 0.05623 138 92 33 13
831 Well, at least they gave us a round table. 1.4270 0.04764 185 122 47 16
832 You did suggest that I wear protection... 1.4270 0.05025 178 120 40 18
833 I wish you would open up. 1.4270 0.04961 178 119 42 17
834 Knight after knight, the same thing.... 1.4268 0.05406 164 113 32 19
835 You said a knight out on the town. 1.4268 0.05194 164 110 38 16
836 Is this table round enough for you, Derek? 1.4268 0.04883 157 100 47 10
837 Sorry I'm late, I just got off the knight shift. 1.4268 0.05437 157 107 33 17
838 I'm into walks on the beach, puppies, piña coladas and Renaissance fairs. You? 1.4268 0.05048 157 102 43 12
839 I've been hurt before. 1.4268 0.05207 157 104 39 14
840 I had different expectations for a one-night stand. 1.4268 0.05362 157 106 35 16
841 When you said a knight on the town I had no idea. 1.4268 0.05362 157 106 35 16
842 Damn auto correct, I meant I wanted a NIGHT to remember. 1.4262 0.04924 183 123 42 18
843 I’m just messing with you - chivalry really is dead. 1.4261 0.04735 176 114 49 13
844 Call me your "wench" one more time and I'm going to put a size 8 chink in your armor. 1.4261 0.04936 176 117 43 16
845 You do know they're expecting rain this evening 1.4261 0.04735 176 114 49 13
846 This is a smaller round table than I'm used to. 1.4260 0.04941 169 111 44 14
847 I've been hurt a lot. 1.4258 0.05411 155 105 34 16
848 So refreshing to meet a man who looks like his online photo. 1.4255 0.05058 188 130 36 22
849 That’s odd. Why only restaurants with round tables? 1.4255 0.04769 188 125 46 17
850 Ah, amour! A much misunderstood word. 1.4253 0.04909 174 115 44 15
851 It was on sale. 1.4253 0.05108 174 118 38 18
852 Well, that's what you get for letting your phone auto-correct "date night 1.4253 0.04909 174 115 44 15
853 I'm sorry this role playing hasn't helped our marriage. 1.4251 0.04982 167 110 43 14
854 Yes, I taste the irony. 1.4251 0.05125 167 112 39 16
855 I was almost on Lancing With the Stars, you know. 1.4251 0.05195 167 113 37 17
856 Are you a fan of heavy metal? 1.4250 0.05360 160 109 34 17
857 It's really hard for me to open up to people 1.4250 0.04160 200 125 65 10
858 You wrote that you liked hot summer knights. 1.4248 0.05462 153 104 33 16
859 I wouldn’t worry about people staring if you used a straw. 1.4248 0.04462 226 153 50 23
860 Well, actually, my profile said "Middle Ages Guy"" not "middle-aged guy." 1.4246 0.05187 179 124 34 21
861 You've always had a hard time opening up. 1.4246 0.04745 179 117 48 14
862 I don't know quite how to tell you this Helen, but I've lost the key to your chastity belt. 1.4244 0.05281 172 119 33 20
863 Yes, I do have protection. 1.4244 0.04809 172 112 47 13
864 Got mail? 1.4242 0.05097 165 110 40 15
865 You're tough to read 1.4241 0.05258 158 106 37 15
866 Awkward Date Knight 1.4239 0.05022 184 126 38 20
867 YOU SEEM A LITTLE GUARDED 1.4235 0.04775 170 110 48 12
868 So, the pellet with the poison’s in the chalice from the palace? 1.4235 0.05194 170 116 36 18
869 No, I will not be your pawn. 1.4235 0.04513 196 128 53 15
870 Chivalry is dead if we split the check. 1.4233 0.05141 163 109 39 15
871 I'm fresh off a particularly combative relationship. 1.4233 0.04379 189 120 58 11
872 How long ago was your last relationship? 1.4231 0.04941 182 123 41 18
873 So tell me me about yourself, Helen of White Plains. 1.4231 0.05383 156 106 34 16
874 If we make it to a third date, maybe I’ll let you see Excalibur. 1.4231 0.04879 182 122 43 17
875 Yeah, well I thought your round table would be bigger. 1.4231 0.04422 182 115 57 10
876 Do I have "protection"? Excuse me- isn't it obvious? 1.4229 0.04953 175 117 42 16
877 A knight to remember... yes, I get it. 1.4226 0.04738 168 108 49 11
878 When I was a kid, "page not found" meant I had to carry my own sword. 1.4226 0.05373 168 117 31 20
879 You must be taking the ban on straws pretty hard. 1.4226 0.05170 168 114 37 17
880 You may be overplaying this 'men are under attack' nonsense, Stanley. 1.4226 0.05439 168 118 29 21
881 I don't let my guard down until the third date. 1.4225 0.04538 187 121 53 13
882 You seem so defensive this evening. 1.4224 0.05334 161 110 34 17
883 Since our country is returning to the middle ages I thought I would dress for it. 1.4224 0.05260 161 109 36 16
884 I said I wanted to meet a middle-aged man, not a Middle Ages man. 1.4224 0.04956 161 105 44 12
885 They say it's a dangerous time for men in America. I'm just being prudent. 1.4221 0.05511 154 106 31 17
886 Will you settle for a statistician in shining armor? 1.4220 0.04787 173 113 47 13
887 I understand your anger. The ban on straws seems to have unfairly targeted some people.” 1.4220 0.05191 173 119 35 19
888 I like a Renaissance man. 1.4220 0.04926 173 115 43 15
889 You said you were into heavy metal but.... 1.4220 0.04645 173 111 51 11
890 Usually takes a few dates before I let my guard down. 1.4219 0.04752 192 129 45 18
891 Let's call it a knight. 1.4218 0.05623 147 101 30 16
892 So, enough about me . . . 1.4217 0.05073 166 111 40 15
893 If this date turns out to be a success, would I be able call you back in, let’s say.. a fortnight? 1.4217 0.05073 166 111 40 15
894 I am done with middle-aged men 1.4216 0.04941 185 126 40 19
895 But Mom, YOU were the one who said I should always wear protection. 1.4214 0.05232 159 107 37 15
896 I worry your attitude toward women is a little medieval. 1.4214 0.04754 159 101 49 9
897 And what do you do for a living? 1.4214 0.04998 159 104 43 12
898 This isn't my first round table Carole. 1.4214 0.05155 159 106 39 14
899 So do you have any hobbies? 1.4213 0.04760 178 117 47 14
900 This isn’t going to work if you’re not ready to open up. 1.4213 0.04827 178 118 45 15
901 You know, a condom would have been just fine. 1.4213 0.04956 178 120 41 17
902 You may have heard, it's an incredibly scary time for young men. 1.4213 0.05145 178 123 35 20
903 I’m kind of a Renaissance man. 1.4213 0.04892 178 119 43 16
904 When you told me that you went to night school, I didn't realize... 1.4211 0.04966 171 114 42 15
905 Probably need to delete "chivalry a must" on my E-Harmony profile. 1.4211 0.04362 190 121 58 11
906 Look, you're a great damsel, but I'm not feeling the distress. 1.4211 0.05241 152 101 38 13
907 I know you're still thinking of Guinevere." 1.4208 0.04538 183 118 53 12
908 I was hoping you'd be less defensive. 1.4207 0.04968 164 108 43 13
909 This is nothing, you should see the round table back at my place. 1.4207 0.05189 164 111 37 16
910 No, I'm not getting a metallic taste. Just cherry and black currant. 1.4207 0.05679 145 100 29 16
911 I wanted a date night -- not a date knight. 1.4205 0.04996 176 119 40 17
912 I should have been less specific. 1.4204 0.05201 157 105 38 14
913 Just another awkward knight on the town. 1.4204 0.05356 157 107 34 16
914 Guinevere never asked to split the check. 1.4202 0.04764 188 126 45 17
915 You looked shinier in your profile pic 1.4201 0.05007 169 113 41 15
916 You wanted a knight on the town, right? 1.4201 0.05214 169 116 35 18
917 Is this just a one knight stand? 1.4201 0.05214 169 116 35 18
918 This is my first date in quite a while. I'm a little rusty 1.4200 0.05456 150 102 33 15
919 Surely you joist . . . 1.4200 0.05456 150 102 33 15
920 That really is my lance, but I am happy to see you. 1.4198 0.04575 212 144 47 21
921 So, what line of work you in? 1.4195 0.04766 174 114 47 13
922 Here's to the horse you came in on. 1.4195 0.04766 174 114 47 13
923 Well. . . my other suit had a rust stain 1.4195 0.04766 174 114 47 13
924 I also have a dungeon. 1.4194 0.04552 186 121 52 13
925 I said I wanted a date night, not date a knight 1.4194 0.05558 155 108 29 18
926 So, tell me about this rash. 1.4194 0.04979 186 128 38 20
927 I used to be a damsel in distress. Now I am just distressed. 1.4192 0.05120 167 113 38 16
928 What can I say? Love is a battlefield. 1.4192 0.05049 167 112 40 15
929 My last relationship left me feeling somewhat vulnerable. 1.4190 0.04605 179 116 51 12
930 Well, we’ve all been hurt before. 1.4190 0.04467 179 114 55 10
931 I’m putting the tin back in tinder. 1.4190 0.04805 179 119 45 15
932 I would invite you over, but I have a very early Crusade tomorrow morning. 1.4190 0.04934 179 121 41 17
933 I’m sorry if I seem defensive. 1.4189 0.05164 148 97 40 11
934 I'm sorry, I am just not into heavy metal. 1.4187 0.05355 160 110 33 17
935 I don't think I'm being defensive. 1.4186 0.04803 172 113 46 13
936 I'd thought the Dating Service had merely promised a good night. 1.4186 0.04874 172 114 44 14
937 I told you honey, it’s a scary time to be a man. 1.4185 0.04775 184 123 45 16
938 So... Are you seeing anyone? 1.4181 0.05164 177 123 34 20
939 So...umm...boxers or briefs? 1.4181 0.04843 177 118 44 15
940 A textbook example of ‘Passive-Defensive’ behavior. 1.4178 0.05121 146 95 41 10
941 Surely there are other options to quit smoking? 1.4177 0.05328 158 108 34 16
942 Why can't you get a smart phone and ignore me like a normal person? 1.4176 0.04913 170 113 43 14
943 I see that you have been hurt before... 1.4176 0.05053 170 115 39 16
944 Too literal? 1.4176 0.04812 182 122 44 16
945 Is this table round enough for you? 1.4176 0.05117 182 127 34 21
946 That’s the third selection you’ve told him has a slightly metallic taste. 1.4176 0.04684 182 120 48 14
947 Is this your first date after the Kavanaugh hearing? 1.4172 0.05588 151 105 29 17
948 I always bring protection on a second date. 1.4172 0.04985 163 108 42 13
949 If this relationship is to go forward, you've got to let your guard down.. 1.4172 0.04831 163 106 46 11
950 When I read your profile, I thought you meant heavy metal music. 1.4171 0.04539 211 143 48 20
951 I always bring protection on a first date. 1.4167 0.04894 156 101 45 10
952 I'm your knight in dining armor. 1.4167 0.05233 168 116 34 18
953 Sally suddenly realized that this would not be a one knight stand 1.4167 0.05165 168 115 36 17
954 I don't date much either. 1.4167 0.05300 156 106 35 15
955 My other suit is with the blacksmith. 1.4167 0.04881 168 111 44 13
956 Feeling a little defensive, are we? 1.4167 0.05095 168 114 38 16
957 This is my first date in a while. I'm a little rusty. 1.4167 0.04807 168 110 46 12
958 I am looking for a man who likes to cuddle. 1.4162 0.05186 173 120 34 19
959 You've been acting very defensive, lately. 1.4161 0.04871 161 105 45 11
960 Your ad clearly stated, “desparately seeking my knight in shining armor.” 1.4161 0.05028 161 107 41 13
961 Ok, Harry. I get it. Chivalry is not dead. 1.4161 0.05479 149 102 32 15
962 When you said you would be bringing protection, I never imagined that you meant this 1.4161 0.05641 137 93 31 13
963 I think you’ll find me a knight to remember. 1.4158 0.04523 202 135 50 17
964 I’m on a crusade. 1.4157 0.04688 178 117 48 13
965 I always imagined the Round Table to be a bit bigger. 1.4157 0.04688 178 117 48 13
966 Mike Pence recommended it. 1.4157 0.05067 166 112 39 15
967 Knight in shining armor-finally an online dating profile that’s accurate. 1.4156 0.05657 154 109 26 19
968 Wanda finally meets her knight in shining armor and discovers he's 53, twice-divorced, with bad credit and no retirement savings. 1.4152 0.05296 171 120 31 20
969 They always think they're soooo funny--seating us at the round table. 1.4152 0.05029 171 116 39 16
970 What is it they always say? "Be careful what you wish for!" 1.4151 0.05226 159 108 36 15
971 When I said “chivalry is dead” I just wanted you to open the door for me. 1.4151 0.04912 159 104 44 11
972 I said I believe in chivalry. I didn’t say I’d pay for dinner. 1.4145 0.04671 193 130 46 17
973 I'm glad we met up - you look exactly like your tapestry. 1.4145 0.04613 193 129 48 16
974 I'm sure you've had your share of lonely knights. 1.4145 0.05234 152 102 37 13
975 No, I don’t think you do know the meaning of Renaissance man. 1.4144 0.04566 181 118 51 12
976 Lisa quickly realized she had misspelled 'date night '. 1.4144 0.04953 181 124 39 18
977 I'm a bit of a Renaissance man. 1.4140 0.04915 186 128 39 19
978 Yes, I know you go to the bathroom “like everyone else.” I meant the logistics 1.4140 0.04672 186 124 47 15
979 Honestly, when I agreed to this, I thought you said a "night of amour"... 1.4140 0.04974 186 129 37 20
980 Magnetic, yes. Personality, not so much. 1.4138 0.04472 174 111 54 9
981 I find it hard to let my guard down. 1.4138 0.04965 174 118 40 16
982 Did you check your coat of arms? 1.4136 0.04877 191 132 39 20
983 So, did you bring protection? 1.4136 0.05651 162 117 23 22
984 Witness Protection? Why do you ask? 1.4136 0.04520 162 102 53 7
985 Not for one brief shining moment, you perv. 1.4134 0.04865 179 121 42 16
986 Why are you being so defensive? 1.4134 0.04929 179 122 40 17
987 Now I understand why you requested a round table. 1.4132 0.05253 167 116 33 18
988 It’ will never work. You’re just too guarded for me, Harold. 1.4132 0.04671 167 108 49 10
989 I’m tasting a metallic note. 1.4130 0.04832 184 125 42 17
990 Your avatar makes more sense now. 1.4129 0.04738 155 99 48 8
991 I think you’re being a bit defensive. 1.4129 0.05399 155 107 32 16
992 Guess this just another "One Knight Stand!" 1.4129 0.05399 155 107 32 16
993 If I wore protection, would you be into a one knight stand? 1.4125 0.05046 160 107 40 13
994 Your Tinder says you appreciate a man who always wears protection. And that you’re no easy conquest. 1.4125 0.04967 160 106 42 12
995 I hope it wasn't too forward of me to bring protection. 1.4125 0.05494 160 113 28 19
996 Nice to meet you, Gawain. What is your Sir name? 1.4125 0.05046 160 107 40 13
997 Flossing must be hell for you. 1.4125 0.05123 160 108 38 14
998 What a Lady, What a Knight 1.4124 0.04634 177 116 49 12
999 Well, you got your round table, but can you Uber me home? The horse was a bit much. 1.4122 0.05332 148 100 35 13
1000 Frankly, you look much older than your profile photo 1.4121 0.05012 165 111 40 14
1001 So that’s your best suit? 1.4118 0.04653 187 125 47 15
1002 That's not what I meant by a nice night out and you know it. 1.4118 0.05289 153 104 35 14
1003 In vino veritas? Surely you joust. 1.4114 0.04875 175 118 42 15
1004 Sorry. It’s laundry day. 1.4114 0.05073 175 121 36 18
1005 Oh, really? You think men are under attack? 1.4114 0.05264 175 124 30 21
1006 Cougar seeks millennial” didn’t mean the year 1000 1.4114 0.05138 175 122 34 19
1007 Yes, I wrote that in my profile but I didn’t mean it literally. 1.4114 0.04875 175 118 42 15
1008 So, do you like horses? 1.4114 0.05090 158 106 39 13
1009 So what's your plan now that straws are illegal? 1.4114 0.05322 158 109 33 16
1010 This'll probably shape up to be a one-knight stand. 1.4113 0.05700 141 98 28 15
1011 Do we always have to pick the round table? 1.4113 0.05237 141 93 38 10
1012 It looked shinier in your photo 1.4112 0.04486 197 131 51 15
1013 Mr. Vice President, I'm glad you found a way to meet with me. 1.4111 0.05032 180 125 36 19
1014 I think you have vulnerability issues. 1.4111 0.04647 180 119 48 13
1015 You said date knight. That’s what you said. 1.4111 0.04843 180 122 42 16
1016 If I'm being honest, Bertrand, half of the time I'm not sure you're even there" 1.4110 0.05274 163 113 33 17
1017 Soooo,you always carry protection. 1.4110 0.04902 163 108 43 12
1018 I have a hard time letting my guard down. 1.4110 0.05294 146 98 36 12
1019 I hope that's a glass of WD-40. 1.4108 0.04931 185 128 38 19
1020 Republican? 1.4108 0.04991 185 129 36 20
1021 Down the hatch! 1.4107 0.05089 168 115 37 16
1022 I thought it was an auto-correct mistake, but you really did mean a knight on the town 1.4107 0.05227 168 117 33 18
1023 They say it’s a very scary time for young men in America. 1.4107 0.05493 168 121 25 22
1024 Well I think you’re impenetrable too. 1.4104 0.04633 173 113 49 11
1025 They got you a round table,now what's wrong 1.4104 0.04776 173 115 45 13
1026 I guess it's a defense mechanism. 1.4103 0.05447 156 109 30 17
1027 Once a queen, always a queen but once a knight is enough. 1.4103 0.04801 195 135 40 20
1028 I know you think it's "a dangerous time to be a man", but this just makes me want to strangle you more, Hank." 1.4101 0.04614 178 117 49 12
1029 Thanks for not wearing white satin. 1.4101 0.05072 178 124 35 19
1030 Good luck. No straws are allowed in this city! 1.4101 0.05135 178 125 33 20
1031 Well, it is a round table." 1.4099 0.04702 161 104 48 9
1032 I wrote that as a metaphor. 1.4099 0.04943 161 107 42 12
1033 It's probably best you just keep it on, Brett. 1.4098 0.04658 183 122 47 14
1034 Do you always ask the maitre'd for a round table? 1.4096 0.05132 166 114 36 16
1035 My past blind dates have made me a little defensive. 1.4096 0.04839 166 110 44 12
1036 I apologize if I'm a little guarded. 1.4096 0.04839 166 110 44 12
1037 Do you always reserve a round table? 1.4096 0.05273 166 116 32 18
1038 So... what kind of work do you do? 1.4094 0.05554 149 104 29 16
1039 You say this isn't your first time at a round table? 1.4094 0.05091 171 118 36 17
1040 What makes you think I am worried about the MeToo movement? 1.4094 0.05224 171 120 32 19
1041 ‘I miss your soft side.’ 1.4094 0.04363 171 108 56 7
1042 I read it as amour. 1.4094 0.04884 171 115 42 14
1043 Your armor looked shinier in your profile pictures. 1.4094 0.04954 171 116 40 15
1044 It was right in the Antique Store window, and somehow, no one had bought it yet. Anyway, I'm Kevin. 1.4091 0.04786 176 118 44 14
1045 It really is a scary time for men! 1.4091 0.05050 176 122 36 18
1046 Chivalrous would be if you'd held the door for me. 1.4091 0.04928 154 101 43 10
1047 A condom would suffice. 1.4091 0.04985 176 121 38 17
1048 Would it have killed you to at least shine the damn suit? 1.4091 0.05180 154 104 37 13
1049 Joanne kicked herself - she'd brought regular lubricant but left the WD-40 at home. 1.4091 0.05420 154 107 31 16
1050 I do love a man in uniform 1.4091 0.05180 154 104 37 13
1051 I'm sorry, I've just been hurt too many times. 1.4088 0.04885 181 124 40 17
1052 So Lawrence, when are you coming out? 1.4088 0.04904 159 105 43 11
1053 I don't care how much you believe the wine loosens you up, you still squeak. 1.4088 0.05369 159 111 31 17
1054 I know you asked for the round table but I'd really prefer a booth. 1.4088 0.05443 159 112 29 18
1055 Don't take it personally. I prefer my Knights in white satin. 1.4086 0.05027 186 131 34 21
1056 Ok, I'm ready to talk about our relationship. 1.4086 0.04729 186 126 44 16
1057 Oh, you wanted a NIGHT to remember. 1.4086 0.04910 186 129 38 19
1058 Well you don't look like your profile picture either. 1.4085 0.05176 164 113 35 16
1059 Too literal, Frank. 1.4085 0.05030 164 111 39 14
1060 Me? I like lemon drop martinis, walks on the beach at sunset, a good book on a rainy night, and impaling heathen invaders with my trusty lance. 1.4085 0.04955 164 110 41 13
1061 When you called and told me that you'd been canned, frankly this wasn't what I was expecting. 1.4085 0.05248 164 114 33 17
1062 Why don't you ask for a straw?" 1.4085 0.05303 142 95 36 11
1063 Sylvia quickly grew to regret being the winning bidder in the "Knight on the Town" charity auction. 1.4084 0.04581 191 128 48 15
1064 I want a relationship where I can let my guard down. 1.4083 0.04995 169 115 39 15
1065 What? It's a very scary time for young men in America. 1.4083 0.04924 169 114 41 14
1066 What's your day job? 1.4083 0.04995 169 115 39 15
1067 I just don't want to get hurt, you know? 1.4083 0.04924 169 114 41 14
1068 What do you mean you can’t get through to me? 1.4083 0.04778 169 112 45 12
1069 So how long ago was your tinder picture taken? 1.4083 0.05065 169 116 37 16
1070 I always insist on a round table. 1.4083 0.05065 169 116 37 16
1071 The outfit I can deal with. It's your politics I can't stand. 1.4083 0.04704 169 111 47 11
1072 So...how was your quest? 1.4080 0.04754 174 116 45 13
1073 Just so you know, I don't joust on the first date. 1.4079 0.05058 152 101 40 11
1074 On the other hand, you're the first blind date I couldn't see right through... 1.4078 0.04728 179 120 45 14
1075 I find that hand sanitizer also works. 1.4078 0.04859 179 122 41 16
1076 Actually, I'm not a 'one knight stand' type of girl. 1.4077 0.05747 130 89 29 12
1077 They say you should always wear protection these days. 1.4076 0.05343 157 109 32 16
1078 I am working through some intimacy issues. 1.4076 0.05028 157 105 40 12
1079 To be honest,the whole knight in shining armor-chivalry narrative kind of unravelled when you insisted on separate checks. 1.4076 0.05493 157 111 28 18
1080 I thought you said,one night stand. 1.4076 0.05266 157 108 34 15
1081 Is that suit off the rack? Because I heard the guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore. 1.4074 0.05437 162 115 28 19
1082 We've been married for 40 years and I still don't really know you... 1.4074 0.05073 162 110 38 14
1083 I can see you have issues with intimacy. 1.4074 0.04761 162 106 46 10
1084 My ex said I was hard to read. 1.4072 0.04891 167 112 42 13
1085 So, I've been out of the dating scene for a while. 1.4072 0.04964 167 113 40 14
1086 The bartender here is known for his amazing screwdrivers. 1.4072 0.05036 167 114 38 15
1087 I keep my guard up on the first date 1.4072 0.05177 167 116 34 17
1088 Don’t tell me…we live happily ever after. 1.4072 0.05036 167 114 38 15
1089 Your disappointment is palpable, my lady, though — to speak truth — you’re no Guinevere either. 1.4071 0.05635 140 97 29 14
1090 Sometimes, I feel middle-aged, too. 1.4070 0.04861 172 116 42 14
1091 I'm looking for someone middle-aged 1.4070 0.04861 172 116 42 14
1092 I was really looking for something more than just a one-Knight stand. 1.4070 0.04999 172 118 38 16
1093 ...and Harold Limpkin, you're no Lancelot. 1.4068 0.04897 177 121 40 16
1094 My mother told me to use protection 1.4067 0.05190 150 101 37 12
1095 And yet you didn't hold the door for me? 1.4067 0.05103 150 100 39 11
1096 I'm a little rusty when it comes to first dates, too. 1.4066 0.04863 182 125 40 17
1097 Yes, I brought protection. Why do you ask? 1.4065 0.05314 155 107 33 15
1098 Well... how old do you think I am? 1.4065 0.05392 155 108 31 16
1099 Come to think of it, yes, I AM presently in need of rescuing. 1.4065 0.05314 155 107 33 15
1100 You don't look anything like your profile picture either. 1.4065 0.05153 155 105 37 13
1101 Can't we have just one night out when we don't fight? 1.4065 0.05071 155 104 39 12
1102 Aren't there supposed to be more of you around the table? 1.4065 0.05071 155 104 39 12
1103 I'm rethinking the whole knight-in-shining-armor thing. 1.4062 0.05039 160 108 39 13
1104 You did wish for a knight out on the town. 1.4062 0.05039 160 108 39 13
1105 I should have never told you my name is Guinevere. 1.4061 0.05079 165 113 37 15
1106 Sorry, but I like Lance a lot more. 1.4059 0.04513 202 137 48 17
1107 Need a straw? 1.4059 0.04756 170 113 45 12
1108 Forgive me but I’m a little rusty. 1.4059 0.05041 170 117 37 16
1109 I see ... You thought I said I was into "amore." 1.4057 0.04869 175 119 41 15
1110 It's a dangerous time for young men in America. 1.4057 0.04936 175 120 39 16
1111 Would it be rude to ask for a straw? 1.4057 0.04732 175 117 45 13
1112 If you were a real knight in shining armor, you wouldn't ask me to split the bill. 1.4057 0.04732 175 117 45 13
1113 I don't put it in my profile,but I'm heavy into metal..... 1.4057 0.04869 175 119 41 15
1114 No, it’s fine..I just never thought to take your profile so...literally... 1.4057 0.05068 175 122 35 18
1115 Bob, when you said you'd be wearing protection tonight, I thought you meant something else? 1.4057 0.04801 175 118 43 14
1116 Oh, Arthur, I haven't had a date knight in ages! 1.4056 0.04964 180 125 37 18
1117 Your dating profile said you were a lover, not a fighter. 1.4056 0.04436 180 117 53 10
1118 You think I'm the defensive one? 1.4056 0.04707 180 121 45 14
1119 How long has it been since your divorce? 1.4054 0.04805 185 127 41 17
1120 I checked your profile, it said you liked history and role playing. I just put the dots together. 1.4052 0.05362 153 106 32 15
1121 It's just one Knight, come on. 1.4051 0.04740 195 135 41 19
1122 This is my first time on MedievalMatch.com. 1.4051 0.05315 158 110 32 16
1123 No, actually l'm a morning person. 1.4051 0.05315 158 110 32 16
1124 Perhaps I was a little vague when I said I enjoyed heavy metal. 1.4049 0.05048 163 111 38 14
1125 I thought this was for middle age singles. 1.4048 0.05152 168 117 34 17
1126 You remind me of my first boyfriend, shiny and dull at the same time." 1.4048 0.04940 168 114 40 14
1127 When you said 'Ironman' , I though you were an athlete! 1.4048 0.04794 168 112 44 12
1128 So your sword wasn't innuendo? 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
1129 I'm sorry, I thought you knew my ex husband was a bishop 1.4045 0.04940 178 123 38 17
1130 The hardest part is finding a restaurant that will still give me a straw." 1.4044 0.04964 183 128 36 19
1131 It's your move. 1.4043 0.04688 188 128 44 16
1132 They say that once a knight is enough. 1.4038 0.05127 156 106 37 13
1133 I need to go to the men's room. Do you have a can opener? 1.4038 0.05286 156 108 33 15
1134 So when I told Alexa I needed a Night Out 1.4037 0.04936 161 108 41 12
1135 I suppose you left your wallet in your other suit of armor. 1.4037 0.04776 161 106 45 10
1136 So how was work today, Larry? 1.4037 0.05014 161 109 39 13
1137 [Run it without a caption next to Trump's remarks about how dangerous a time this is for boys and men.] 1.4037 0.05459 161 115 27 19
1138 Lately, I just can't seem to get through to you. 1.4036 0.04907 166 112 41 13
1139 So, the search for the Holy Grail led you to a wine bar? 1.4036 0.05335 166 118 29 19
1140 Really Arthur it was more of a metaphor 1.4036 0.04907 166 112 41 13
1141 I never know how to dress on a first date. 1.4036 0.04981 166 113 39 14
1142 What you may or may not have on under it is irrelevant 1.4036 0.04600 166 108 49 9
1143 Now I understand why you asked for a round table. 1.4036 0.05196 166 116 33 17
1144 I'm sorry, but I like my damsels in distress. 1.4035 0.04948 171 117 39 15
1145 It’s a dangerous time for young men. 1.4034 0.04913 176 121 39 16
1146 I’ve always wanted to meet a Renaissance man. 1.4033 0.04486 181 119 51 11
1147 I agree; the wine has a metallic taste. 1.4033 0.04752 181 123 43 15
1148 They said you’d come”someday,” but at this point, I just don’t give a damn.” 1.4029 0.05567 139 96 30 13
1149 Maybe, but inside I'm still a pirate. 1.4026 0.05090 154 104 38 12
1150 I misread your profile. I thought you were seeking a woman who was interested in amour. 1.4026 0.05334 154 107 32 15
1151 Howard, it's more the white horse that I've fantasized about. 1.4025 0.05057 159 108 38 13
1152 No, I do not want to come up to your room and see your holy grail ... 1.4025 0.05135 159 109 36 14
1153 I think you're at the wrong round table. 1.4025 0.05362 159 112 30 17
1154 Everything tastes like WD-40 to you! 1.4024 0.05097 164 113 36 15
1155 Shirley tells me you like horses... 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
1156 Where's all that 'chivalry is dead' talk now, Marge? 1.4024 0.04871 164 110 42 12
1157 No, I don't have a problem with middle-aged men. 1.4024 0.04715 164 108 46 10
1158 Tell me about your mother... 1.4024 0.04845 169 114 42 13
1159 Don't tell me that you are also wearing Under Armour. 1.4024 0.04988 169 116 38 15
1160 It's nice to finally sit down after all these centuries. 1.4023 0.04605 174 115 48 11
1161 You don't need to be so defensive. 1.4023 0.04817 174 118 42 14
1162 I've got to stop swiping right after watching Game of Thrones. 1.4023 0.04817 174 118 42 14
1163 When your dating profile said "Chivalry isn't dead," this isn't quite what I pictured. 1.4022 0.04853 179 123 40 16
1164 Sometimes it’s hard to get through to you! 1.4022 0.05043 179 126 34 19
1165 And another thing. You never let down your defenses. 1.4022 0.04632 184 124 46 14
1166 Why do you always seem so defensive? 1.4022 0.04567 184 123 48 13
1167 Well, one: it was a metaphor, and two: you're not that shiny. 1.4022 0.04632 184 124 46 14
1168 Me defensive? 1.4021 0.04728 189 130 42 17
1169 No, I wouldn't say I'm especially "in distress." Why do you ask? 1.4021 0.04546 189 127 48 14
1170 I wish you would let your guard down once in a while. 1.4014 0.04794 147 95 45 7
1171 My hobbies?? I am into vintage clothing. 1.4012 0.04753 162 107 45 10
1172 I thought you would be shinier. 1.4012 0.04912 162 109 41 12
1173 I only need a few more to take off my armor. 1.4012 0.04833 162 108 43 11
1174 I see why he insisted on a round table. 1.4012 0.04753 162 107 45 10
1175 I figured I'd find you seated at a round table. 1.4012 0.05215 162 113 33 16
1176 Not what​ I was picturing when you offered me a night out. 1.4012 0.04809 167 112 43 12
1177 All of my friends think that chivalry is dead. 1.4012 0.05308 167 119 29 19
1178 Look daggers at me all you want. It won't do any good. 1.4012 0.04640 172 114 47 11
1179 Wait, you’re an actuary too? 1.4011 0.04690 177 119 45 13
1180 I sense you have some vulnerability issues. 1.4011 0.04551 177 117 49 11
1181 Now it feels like you're getting defensive. 1.4011 0.04398 182 119 53 10
1182 This is not going to be a knight to remember. 1.4011 0.04703 187 128 43 16
1183 I always feel you’re hiding something. 1.4000 0.04895 180 125 38 17
1184 You think the waitress forgot about my straw? 1.4000 0.05123 145 97 38 10
1185 You’re not into heavy metal, are you? 1.4000 0.04848 165 111 42 12
1186 I always request a round table. 1.4000 0.04964 170 117 38 15
1187 To be frank, I'm looking for something more than just a one knight stand 1.4000 0.05335 160 113 30 17
1188 I said I wanted amour,not armor. 1.4000 0.05063 155 105 38 12
1189 You know, Toby, this ISN'T what I meant when I asked you about protection. 1.4000 0.05286 165 117 30 18
1190 Yep, it makes you look fat. 1.4000 0.04585 175 116 48 11
1191 I think Under Armour is more sexy 1.4000 0.05384 155 109 30 16
1192 You're being defensive again. 1.4000 0.04998 165 113 38 14
1193 Yeah, that pic is a couple years old. 1.4000 0.05102 170 119 34 17
1194 Well, in my defense I did say that I have an active knight life!" 1.4000 0.04738 185 127 42 16
1195 You said you wanted me to be more chivalrous! 1.4000 0.04930 175 121 38 16
1196 Thank you for reserving the round table. 1.4000 0.04771 165 110 44 11
1197 I understand some of your restaurant reviews have been controversial. 1.4000 0.05063 155 105 38 12
1198 Do I feel vulnerable after my last relationship? Why do you ask? 1.4000 0.04863 175 120 40 15
1199 Uh, you called me Guinevere again." 1.3989 0.04496 188 126 49 13
1200 I thought your profile said, “Night of Amor.” 1.3989 0.04958 183 129 35 19
1201 Don't make that face at me. 1.3989 0.04646 183 124 45 14
1202 "I asked Alexa for a nice night with an amour, so I'm guessing you're here because of autocorrection." 1.3989 0.04897 183 128 37 18
1203 If this relationship is going anywhere, you're going to have to le your guard down. 1.3989 0.04646 183 124 45 14
1204 So my ex-wife used to complain that I was too defensive about everything... 1.3989 0.04710 183 125 43 15
1205 We all have itches we'd like to scratch. 1.3989 0.04869 178 123 39 16
1206 Actually, all the tables are round. 1.3989 0.04803 178 122 41 15
1207 Why is this knight different from all other knights? 1.3988 0.05103 173 122 33 18
1208 Yes, I know what my profile said I was looking for, but you are the first guy to take me literally. 1.3988 0.05036 173 121 35 17
1209 You look nothing like your photo. 1.3988 0.04860 168 114 41 13
1210 No, Lance, I asked if you were, like, middle-aged. 1.3988 0.04933 168 115 39 14
1211 Well, your profile did say you had abs of steel. 1.3988 0.04712 168 112 45 11
1212 You meet so few "Guinivere's" on Match.com that, frankly, I was intrigued 1.3988 0.05005 168 116 37 15
1213 Really....you ordered the ‘Sir Loin’? 1.3988 0.05076 168 117 35 16
1214 And whither didst thou goest after graduate school? 1.3988 0.05188 163 114 33 16
1215 A knight out on the town sounded so good. 1.3987 0.04913 158 106 41 11
1216 I go by Gwen, now. 1.3987 0.04913 158 106 41 11
1217 You were so much more open online. 1.3987 0.04573 158 102 49 7
1218 Not what I meant when I said you need to bring protection. 1.3986 0.05316 148 102 33 13
1219 Next time, try not to make a scene about a square table. 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
1220 Maybe a glass of mead will help you loosen up. 1.3977 0.04426 171 111 52 8
1221 This wasn’t what I was expecting when my profile noted I was into heavy metal 1.3977 0.04727 171 115 44 12
1222 I guess protection is an ambiguous term. 1.3977 0.04727 171 115 44 12
1223 My fetish leans more towards scrapbooking. 1.3977 0.04579 171 113 48 10
1224 I'm a knight. We're at the round table. Your turn. 1.3976 0.05047 166 115 36 15
1225 At least I'm willing to try new things, Diane. 1.3975 0.04928 161 109 40 12
1226 I don't know about you, but I haven't been on a date in ages. 1.3975 0.04686 161 106 46 9
1227 I was speaking figuratively. 1.3974 0.05037 156 106 38 12
1228 You said to wear my best suit. 1.3974 0.05067 151 102 38 11
1229 oh, you meant a one NIGHT stand. 1.3968 0.04478 189 127 49 13
1230 Me? I'm the Brand Manager for Over Armour. 1.3968 0.04898 189 134 35 20
1231 This new straw ban must be killing you! 1.3967 0.04936 184 130 35 19
1232 Speak, that I may know you. 1.3966 0.05013 174 122 35 17
1233 So, this is date knight. 1.3966 0.04878 174 120 39 15
1234 First of all, I am not being defensive. 1.3966 0.04740 174 118 43 13
1235 Are we making eye contact yet? 1.3964 0.04837 169 115 41 13
1236 I’m always a little defensive on a first date. 1.3964 0.04537 169 111 49 9
1237 So the knight picture is not just your online avatar. 1.3964 0.04981 169 117 37 15
1238 I don’t joust on the first date. 1.3963 0.04786 164 110 43 11
1239 You're not your typical one knight stand. 1.3963 0.05089 164 114 35 15
1240 I said I wanted a date NIGHT...N-I-G-H-T! 1.3963 0.04707 164 109 45 10
1241 Go ahead, I want to see you drink it. 1.3961 0.05405 154 109 29 16
1242 I'm actually a woman so that's on you for assuming. 1.3961 0.05164 154 106 35 13
1243 I am glad that you brought protection. 1.3961 0.05326 154 108 31 15
1244 It only takes one drink for me to open up. I'm just waiting for the straw. 1.3959 0.04527 197 135 46 16
1245 What trust issues? 1.3958 0.04609 192 132 44 16
1246 I work in hardware. How about you?” 1.3958 0.05327 144 99 33 12
1247 When you said you were in the military, l guess I expected some thing else 1.3957 0.04877 187 132 36 19
1248 A "knight" to remember. Really? 1.3957 0.05268 139 94 35 10
1249 Well you said you didn't want to see me anymore 1.3956 0.04851 182 127 38 17
1250 ...and the horse you rode in on. 1.3956 0.04974 182 129 34 19
1251 Did I mention I live in a castle? 1.3955 0.04614 177 119 46 12
1252 Sorry I said 'Shut your trap'. 1.3955 0.04818 177 122 40 15
1253 A boring knight on the town. 1.3955 0.04544 177 118 48 11
1254 You're a lot rustier in person than you looked online. 1.3955 0.04884 177 123 38 16
1255 I hope you don't find my wearing protection presumptuous. 1.3953 0.04986 172 120 36 16
1256 I'm tasting black pepper, cherries and a hint of conquest. 1.3953 0.04777 172 117 42 13
1257 It’s hard for me to let my guard down. 1.3953 0.04705 172 116 44 12
1258 Don't tell me I misspelled 'date night' again. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
1259 The counselor recommended amour, not armor! 1.3952 0.04950 167 115 38 14
1260 Yes, I can see that, but who are you underneath it all? 1.3951 0.04580 162 106 48 8
1261 You don’t look like the wench in your picture. 1.3951 0.05133 162 113 34 15
1262 Do you have a straw 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
1263 Careful what you wish for. 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
1264 So yeah, that’s how I haven’t been stung by a bee in over 35 years. 1.3947 0.05041 152 103 38 11
1265 The quest is just my day job. My real passion is wine. 1.3947 0.04953 152 102 40 10
1266 I see you still work at the Renaissance Fair. 1.3947 0.04459 190 128 49 13
1267 It protects you as well as me. 1.3946 0.04476 185 124 49 12
1268 Armor, Armani, six of one, half a dozen of another, am I right? 1.3946 0.04274 185 121 55 9
1269 I’m gonna call it a knight. 1.3944 0.04888 180 126 37 17
1270 My Friday knight was more fun. 1.3943 0.04856 175 121 39 15
1271 I said wine and amour not... oh never mind 1.3941 0.05095 170 120 33 17
1272 I hope you brought a can opener. 1.3941 0.05027 170 119 35 16
1273 I am NOT being defensive! 1.3941 0.04668 170 114 45 11
1274 I'm a little rusty. 1.3941 0.04957 170 118 37 15
1275 I know how it feels,my Spanx is killing mem,too. 1.3941 0.04814 170 116 41 13
1276 I’m just trying to get you to open up a little. 1.3941 0.04516 170 112 49 9
1277 No, no....let me guess. Intimacy issues? 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
1278 My profile said I was interested in amore not armor. 1.3939 0.04763 165 111 43 11
1279 It has been ages since I opened myself up. 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
1280 "Your dating-site profile comment about 'liking men in uniform' didn't specify which era 1.3939 0.04763 165 111 43 11
1281 So tell me more about this book, Eat. Pray. Crusade. 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
1282 Sorry, I’m a little rusty 1.3938 0.04590 193 133 44 16
1283 I’m always guarded on a first date! 1.3938 0.04763 193 136 38 19
1284 This isn't going to work of you won't just open up a little. 1.3938 0.04531 193 132 46 15
1285 Well yes, Lance, my ad did say that. 1.3938 0.04783 160 107 43 10
1286 Yes, I am a republican, how did you guess? 1.3936 0.04615 188 129 44 15
1287 It’s becoming harder for me to read your feelings. 1.3934 0.04639 183 125 44 14
1288 It's not about your dating history, madam, I always wear protection. 1.3934 0.04574 183 124 46 13
1289 Yes, I still see the chink in your armor after three drinks. 1.3933 0.05343 150 105 31 14
1290 Maybe we should just call it a night. 1.3933 0.04991 178 126 34 18
1291 What do you mean, they’ve outlawed straws? 1.3933 0.04662 178 121 44 13
1292 Actually it's Ralph, you're thinking of my brother Lance. 1.3933 0.04796 178 123 40 15
1293 You've rusted your what? 1.3933 0.04593 178 120 46 12
1294 I suppose I use it as a sort of defense mechanism. 1.3931 0.05113 145 98 37 10
1295 Sorry about the autocorrect. I meant, amore. 1.3931 0.05562 145 103 27 15
1296 It's Chateau Nottingham, 1266. 1.3931 0.04894 173 120 38 15
1297 Don't worry. I brought protection 1.3929 0.05138 168 119 32 17
1298 I said I was looking for amour not armor! 1.3929 0.05409 168 123 24 21
1299 I think we'd best call it a knight. 1.3929 0.04704 168 113 44 11
1300 What's the problem? You wanted a knight on the town. 1.3929 0.05431 140 97 31 12
1301 Since you ask, I said I was seeking "a night of amour." 1.3929 0.05207 168 120 30 18
1302 Great, another knight in shining armor. 1.3927 0.04502 191 130 47 14
1303 It is a difficult and scary time for young men in America ... 1.3927 0.04912 191 137 33 21
1304 I thought you said "knight cap". 1.3926 0.04801 163 110 42 11
1305 ...and you said I would never use it! Ha! 1.3926 0.05395 163 118 26 19
1306 It looks like another boring knight. 1.3926 0.04801 163 110 42 11
1307 It's the personal magnetism bit that worries me. 1.3924 0.05066 158 109 36 13
1308 You need to open up more. 1.3924 0.05066 158 109 36 13
1309 So tell me about yourself Mr. Kavanaugh” 1.3924 0.05066 158 109 36 13
1310 You want me to tie my scarf around your what? 1.3923 0.04673 181 124 43 14
1311 I said that I was looking for amour. 1.3922 0.05346 153 108 30 15
1312 I'm so glad they were able to get us a round table 1.3922 0.04574 204 143 42 19
1313 It's not what I expected when you said you had a "night" job. 1.3922 0.05505 153 110 26 17
1314 You're always so defensive. 1.3920 0.04601 199 139 42 18
1315 I just continue to have the feeling that you're hiding something... 1.3919 0.05220 148 102 34 12
1316 You look shinier in your photo. 1.3918 0.04863 171 118 39 14
1317 While I suspect your chivalrous heart is in the right place, I think we both can agree that your wallet is conveniently out of reach. 1.3918 0.04792 171 117 41 13
1318 Our profiles both said "into heavy metal". Not quite on the same page. 1.3918 0.05003 171 120 35 16
1319 So, how long will you be gone? 1.3918 0.04792 171 117 41 13
1320 Looks like we're both a little rusty at dating. 1.3918 0.04452 194 132 48 14
1321 Knight in shining armor was a metaphor. 1.3916 0.04966 166 115 37 14
1322 What would you wear if we had a square table? 1.3913 0.04759 161 108 43 10
1323 I know you've been hurt before, but you can open up to me. 1.3913 0.04488 184 124 48 12
1324 Your castle or mine? 1.3913 0.04554 184 125 46 13
1325 I wish you'd stop being so defensive. 1.3913 0.05075 161 112 35 14
1326 You call that activewear? 1.3911 0.04433 179 119 50 10
1327 Funny. You wear yours on the outside. 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
1328 Next time we role play, you’re the mid-level accountant. 1.3911 0.04641 179 122 44 13
1329 I think you are sitting at the wrong round table. 1.3910 0.05191 156 109 33 14
1330 I'm sorry, do you need a straw? 1.3908 0.05137 174 125 30 19
1331 I am returning from the war of the rosés. You? 1.3908 0.04871 174 121 38 15
1332 Drinking straw ban? Well this is awkward. 1.3907 0.05313 151 106 31 14
1333 If we are in a relationship, I'm going to need you to open up. 1.3906 0.04543 192 132 45 15
1334 Shall we begin in some verbal jousting? 1.3906 0.04662 192 134 41 17
1335 I thought you were going to night school. 1.3905 0.04756 169 115 42 12
1336 Gee, I thought you were just being metaphorical in your personal ad. 1.3905 0.04756 169 115 42 12
1337 98% match, my ass! 1.3905 0.04973 169 118 36 15
1338 Your breath still stinks 1.3905 0.05044 169 119 34 16
1339 You could have just asked for a bib. 1.3905 0.04756 169 115 42 12
1340 Mary couldn’t understand why her footsie attempts were not reciprocated. 1.3905 0.04973 169 118 36 15
1341 Your reservation for the round table was a very thoughtful gesture m'lady. 1.3904 0.04628 187 129 43 15
1342 Well, so far I'm still the Deputy Attorney General. 1.3902 0.05155 164 116 32 16
1343 You look rustier than your profile picture! 1.3902 0.04778 164 111 42 11
1344 I was really worried you wouldn't match your profile picture. 1.3902 0.04856 164 112 40 12
1345 The real me comes out after a few glasses of wine 1.3902 0.04856 164 112 40 12
1346 At least you requested a round table! 1.3902 0.05081 164 115 34 15
1347 So when you wrote ‘Seeking Knight in Shining Armor’ that was figuratively speaking?” 1.3901 0.04906 182 129 35 18
1348 On the plus side, male coworkers pretty much leave me alone now. 1.3901 0.04587 182 124 45 13
1349 To be perfectly honest, Ulrich, I believe I was happier when I thought chivalry was dead. 1.3901 0.04781 182 127 39 16
1350 My therapist says I’m too defensive. 1.3899 0.04880 159 108 40 11
1351 Why don't we take the horse back to my place? 1.3898 0.04877 177 124 37 16
1352 Your ex still comes here? 1.3898 0.04744 177 122 41 14
1353 Y'know, I've just about decided that it might be more convenient to just go ahead and get a flu shot. 1.3898 0.04676 177 121 43 13
1354 Agreed. You will stop saying you think Trump is great and I will stop throwing hot coffee in your face 1.3896 0.05155 154 107 34 13
1355 Hard to read? How so? 1.3895 0.04697 172 117 43 12
1356 It's our third date can you at least lift your visor? 1.3895 0.04697 172 117 43 12
1357 You were shinier in your profile picture. 1.3895 0.04840 172 119 39 14
1358 My psychiatrist said I needed better defense mechanisms. 1.3895 0.04625 172 116 45 11
1359 I don't know, it's just that you seemed more gallant at the Renaissance fair. 1.3895 0.05046 172 122 33 17
1360 You require my fealty? 1.3895 0.04576 190 131 44 15
1361 I have heard of using protection on a first date, but this is ridiculous! 1.3895 0.04696 190 133 40 17
1362 You'll enjoy a knight out, they said... 1.3893 0.05103 149 102 36 11
1363 You said you wanted a knight to remember. 1.3893 0.05529 149 107 26 16
1364 No, I’m not being defensive, you are! 1.3892 0.04868 167 115 39 13
1365 I suggested role-playing in the bedroom, not at dinner... 1.3892 0.04942 167 116 37 14
1366 Today, I'm identifying as 35% female, 25% male, and 40% sheet metal from China. 1.3892 0.05086 167 118 33 16
1367 Yeah, the visor is a pain alright, but the codpiece is what really cramps my style. 1.3892 0.04786 185 130 38 17
1368 Soooo, you said change was difficult for you. 1.3892 0.04534 185 126 46 13
1369 I said that I wanted to meet a thin man, not a tin man. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1370 Well I think you're the one being defensive. 1.3889 0.04973 162 112 37 13
1371 But I’m emotionally vulnerable 1.3889 0.04753 180 125 40 15
1372 Do you think they'll judge me if I ask for a straw? 1.3889 0.04973 162 112 37 13
1373 Just keep your codpiece where I can see it. 1.3886 0.04642 193 135 41 17
1374 Wine always helps me let my guard down. 1.3886 0.04848 175 122 38 15
1375 To be fair, your ad did say you were looking for a good night 1.3886 0.04780 175 121 40 14
1376 When you said you liked to joust, I assumed you meant verbally. 1.3885 0.05003 157 108 37 12
1377 I heard you have a rapier wit. 1.3885 0.05258 139 95 34 10
1378 It opens if you swipe right. 1.3882 0.04807 170 117 40 13
1379 Another iron clad alibi why you are late? 1.3882 0.04660 170 115 44 11
1380 What do you mean, I'm too defensive? 1.3882 0.05019 170 120 34 16
1381 You thought I meant a night on the town? 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
1382 Well, I think *you're* guarded. 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
1383 I’m into heavy metal. 1.3882 0.05031 152 104 37 11
1384 I'm just glad to finally get a knight out. 1.3878 0.05058 147 100 37 10
1385 I said I wanted a “date night “ not a “knight date”!!! 1.3875 0.05015 160 111 36 13
1386 I take it you've been hurt before? 1.3873 0.04881 142 94 41 7
1387 I'd always envisioned it being more - ya know - shining. 1.3873 0.04955 173 122 35 16
1388 I don’t think I can get past your defense mechanisms. 1.3871 0.04790 155 104 42 9
1389 Don’t worry, everyone feels guarded on first dates 1.3871 0.04702 155 103 44 8
1390 My mistake. I thought that app was ‘middle agers dating service.’ 1.3871 0.05209 155 109 32 14
1391 My last blind date said he was Prince Charming. 1.3871 0.05209 155 109 32 14
1392 I guess we've both decided to get back on the horse. 1.3871 0.04877 155 105 40 10
1393 I was speaking metaphorically. 1.3871 0.05209 155 109 32 14
1394 I had guessed you said to call you ‘Rusty’ because you’d have red hair. 1.3871 0.04765 186 131 38 17
1395 I wish you could be more vulnerable with me. 1.3871 0.04578 186 128 44 14
1396 I gotta be honest, I swiped right 'cause I thought it was a metaphor. 1.3871 0.05046 155 107 36 12
1397 This is why I need to dress you. 1.3869 0.04695 168 114 43 11
1398 If I hear you say this has a metallic taste one more time... 1.3869 0.04845 168 116 39 13
1399 Why do they always put me at the round table? 1.3869 0.04619 168 113 45 10
1400 My Mom made it for me when I started dating. 1.3869 0.04695 168 114 43 11
1401 You forgot to bring your straws again? 1.3869 0.04771 168 115 41 12
1402 You might want to ask for a straw. 1.3867 0.04796 181 127 38 16
1403 Look on the bright side. If I'm a knight in shining armor, then that makes you a fair maiden. 1.3867 0.04600 181 124 44 13
1404 I said I wanted "date night" not to date a knight. 1.3867 0.04600 181 124 44 13
1405 You’re not the first rough knight I’ve had! 1.3867 0.05249 150 105 32 13
1406 No, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to call it a defense mechanism. 1.3867 0.04986 150 102 38 10
1407 When I said "Show me a night I'll never forget," this isn't what I had in mind. 1.3865 0.04948 163 113 37 13
1408 I didn’t grasp just how “old fashioned” you are. 1.3865 0.05024 163 114 35 14
1409 I meant metaphorically. 1.3865 0.04793 163 111 41 11
1410 Dating on Tinder has made me somewhat defensive." 1.3865 0.05024 163 114 35 14
1411 Shall we call it a knight? 1.3864 0.04620 176 120 44 12
1412 I know they sound the same, but I meant date "night." 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1413 Ask for a straw. 1.3864 0.05339 132 90 33 9
1414 Hmm, have you been waiting long? 1.3862 0.04588 189 131 43 15
1415 I did promise you that it would be a Knight To Remember. 1.3862 0.04464 189 129 47 13
1416 My parents named me Lance. Why did you want to know? 1.3862 0.05103 145 99 36 10
1417 For the last time, Frank, I'm 61. You don't need protection. 1.3860 0.04711 171 117 42 12
1418 Well, my friend did say you were a Renaissance man. 1.3860 0.04638 171 116 44 11
1419 I don’t know, somehow it just feels like the same thing knight after knight. 1.3859 0.04923 184 132 33 19
1420 Honey did you remeber to put the moat bridge up before we left? 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
1421 I love these intimate moments. 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
1422 He was a dark and stormy knight. 1.3858 0.04571 197 138 42 17
1423 This is not at all what I expected when I won the “Night on the Town” contest! 1.3857 0.05514 140 99 28 13
1424 No, you can ask for a straw yourself, Brad. 1.3856 0.04648 153 101 45 7
1425 I’m a bit rusty at this. 1.3856 0.05005 153 105 37 11
1426 'Frank, usually one lets one's guard down by the 3rd date!' 1.3856 0.05174 153 107 33 13
1427 I wonder if the meat is locally slain. 1.3855 0.04958 166 116 36 14
1428 So...I can tell you're new to MedievalDating.com 1.3855 0.04958 166 116 36 14
1429 I think you're a little bit defensive. 1.3855 0.04654 166 112 44 10
1430 I told you if you put it on you wouldn't be able to take it off. 1.3855 0.05031 166 117 34 15
1431 I'm basically an introvert." 1.3855 0.04808 166 114 40 12
1432 Another knight, soon to be forgotten. 1.3855 0.04958 166 116 36 14
1433 Would you like to see my sword? 1.3855 0.04808 166 114 40 12
1434 Okay, I’m ready. What do you have to tell me? 1.3855 0.04897 179 127 35 17
1435 Do you use protection? 1.3855 0.04832 179 126 37 16
1436 No, I said that I wanted more amour in our life 1.3851 0.05066 161 113 34 14
1437 I'm waiting to hear THIS iron-clad alibi! 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1438 I thought having a knight out on the town would be more exciting. 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
1439 Gee. I never realized the difficulties inherent in shopping for a codpiece online. 1.3851 0.04863 174 122 37 15
1440 Its full, fruity bouquet and balanced tannins are spoiled by the frankly disappointing metallic finish. 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
1441 My Job? Well, I’m currently on a quest, but the occasional pillage is rather lucrative 1.3846 0.04545 195 136 43 16
1442 You really have to fight for a table at this place. 1.3846 0.05053 143 97 37 9
1443 Would you mind if we moved to a rounder table? 1.3846 0.04512 182 124 46 12
1444 Sorry about my conversational skills. I'm a little rusty 1.3846 0.04520 169 113 47 9
1445 But I’m chainmail and you’re email, Gwen. It’ll never work. 1.3846 0.04936 156 107 38 11
1446 Didn’t your ad say you wanted a Date Knight ? 1.3846 0.04894 169 118 37 14
1447 I'm not interested in a one knight stand. 1.3846 0.05020 156 108 36 12
1448 I hope they have straws. 1.3846 0.05105 169 121 31 17
1449 Do you have a straw on you? 1.3842 0.04736 177 123 40 14
1450 So you work the knight shift? 1.3842 0.04599 177 121 44 12
1451 When you said you enjoyed metal, I thought you meant endless guitar solos. 1.3841 0.05073 164 116 33 15
1452 Do you think maybe you're being a little defensive? 1.3841 0.04847 164 113 39 12
1453 Because I'd like to be on the Supreme Court someday. 1.3841 0.05304 151 107 30 14
1454 A knight on the town? Really? 1.3841 0.05277 138 95 33 10
1455 It's a dangerous time for men. 1.3837 0.05039 172 123 32 17
1456 Are you getting a metallic aftertaste? 1.3836 0.05031 159 111 35 13
1457 If I had known you were going to wear your suit,I would have at least put on my kirtle 1.3836 0.05187 159 113 31 15
1458 As I'm sure you can guess, I've got a thing for round tables. 1.3836 0.04788 159 108 41 10
1459 And what doth a fair damsel like yourself doeth? 1.3836 0.04704 159 107 43 9
1460 Hey, YOU were the one complaining chivalry was dead. 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
1461 I know it's tacky, but I really could use a straw. 1.3834 0.04335 193 131 50 12
1462 I’m more of a day person. 1.3833 0.04613 180 124 43 13
1463 That’s not a reassuring costume for discussing the divorce, Donald. 1.3833 0.04476 180 122 47 11
1464 You should see me when I get unhinged 1.3832 0.05006 167 118 34 15
1465 Yours may be the only diet that actually works. 1.3832 0.04785 167 115 40 12
1466 So now I’M the armor-plated bitch? 1.3832 0.05006 167 118 34 15
1467 Could you ask the waiter for a straw? 1.3832 0.05078 167 119 32 16
1468 Please stop playing footsie, it's painful 1.3832 0.04632 167 113 44 10
1469 Oh - date "night". 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
1470 You're a little rusty at this dating thing, aren't you? 1.3831 0.04716 154 103 43 8
1471 I know it’s hard to let your guard down on a first date, but at least maybe you could put your visor up? 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
1472 No, I'm not getting a metallic aftertaste. 1.3829 0.04340 175 116 51 8
1473 Janet immediately regretted asking her date to bring protection...And now feared what he meant by "sword". 1.3829 0.05040 175 126 31 18
1474 ‘I’m tired of jousting with you, David. Seems that’s all you ever want to do.’ 1.3827 0.04886 162 112 38 12
1475 I believe in safe sex. 1.3827 0.04807 162 111 40 11
1476 I've been hurt one too many times.. 1.3827 0.04727 162 110 42 10
1477 When I said I liked heavy metal, I was talking about the '80's". 1.3827 0.04102 196 130 57 9
1478 Not to brag but I also carry a large sword, live in a castle and arrived here on my noble steed. 1.3825 0.04357 183 123 50 10
1479 So this is your idea of a knight out on the town? 1.3825 0.04752 183 129 38 16
1480 It's a hard one...I'd say I'm pro-environment, but I'm also pro-straw. 1.3825 0.04815 183 130 36 17
1481 Did you notice I fixed the squeaking? 1.3824 0.04576 170 115 45 10
1482 I knew we'd click, I'm wearing a chastity belt. 1.3824 0.04798 170 118 39 13
1483 This is NOT what you meant when you said to bring protection? 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1484 Well, here we are, round table for two. 1.3824 0.04499 170 114 47 9
1485 To be honest, I had always kind of dreamed that my knight in shining armor would at least pick up the check. 1.3824 0.05148 170 123 29 18
1486 My therapist suggested removing my emotional armor, so I'm trying this. 1.3822 0.04426 191 131 47 13
1487 Most guys who read my profile have a better understanding of the concept of metaphor. 1.3822 0.05387 157 114 26 17
1488 Before this goes any further, you should know that I'm not that kind of lady-in-waiting. 1.3820 0.04714 178 124 40 14
1489 Maybe my problem is I try too hard to be what women want me to be. 1.3820 0.04781 178 125 38 15
1490 I agree. It's got a metallic taste. 1.3820 0.04714 178 124 40 14
1491 So nice of you to get us a round table for two. 1.3818 0.04746 165 113 41 11
1492 Of course I look like my profile picture under here. 1.3818 0.05120 165 118 31 16
1493 I feel like you're closing yourself off from me. 1.3818 0.04587 165 111 45 9
1494 I just wish you were more Transparent, that's all. 1.3818 0.04667 165 112 43 10
1495 Would you like to get a room for a knight? 1.3818 0.04667 165 112 43 10
1496 So,how's that metalsmithing class? 1.3816 0.05107 152 106 34 12
1497 This isn’t what I meant by a one night stand 1.3816 0.05021 152 105 36 11
1498 So, you’ll chainmail me? 1.3815 0.04739 173 120 40 13
1499 Can we go by car? TSA is an issue. 1.3815 0.04446 173 116 48 9
1500 What’s wrong with a knight on the town? 1.3815 0.04667 173 119 42 12
1501 Okay, but this is the last time: "Prithee, m'lord, I am but a country lass..." 1.3815 0.04809 173 121 38 14
1502 All right, I get it. For you, this is just a one knight stand. 1.3815 0.04947 173 123 34 16
1503 Do you use protection Arthur? 1.3814 0.04616 194 137 40 17
1504 This could be my worst date Knight ever 1.3813 0.04681 160 108 43 9
1505 You want to stop seeing me? Shirley, you joust! 1.3813 0.05006 160 112 35 13
1506 I'm not much of a talker either. 1.3813 0.04510 160 106 47 7
1507 Just admit you were cavalier with the waiter. 1.3813 0.05006 160 112 35 13
1508 Forgive my attire. I report forCNN and I'm on my way to a Trump rally. 1.3812 0.04456 181 123 47 11
1509 After my last relationship ended, I'll admit I'm a little guarded. 1.3810 0.04762 189 135 36 18
1510 Do we have to do this on a knightly basis? 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
1511 I'm afraid that this is not going to work, Phil. I just can't get through to you. 1.3810 0.04581 189 132 42 15
1512 I said bring your suit and ardor. 1.3810 0.04532 168 113 46 9
1513 I really wish you'd open up a little. 1.3810 0.05138 147 102 34 11
1514 So... you think you're the first to use a line like "Tonight's the Knight"? 1.3810 0.05260 168 123 26 19
1515 This is getting ridiculous, no body from Yale is going to recognize you 36 years later 1.3807 0.04681 176 122 41 13
1516 As your aide, Senator McConnell, I'd advise against eating out anymore, period. 1.3807 0.04750 176 123 39 14
1517 I like your suit too... Ann Taylor? 1.3806 0.05036 155 108 35 12
1518 No, really, I'm glad you wore your best suit. 1.3806 0.05119 155 109 33 13
1519 So much for thinking that "middle ages" in your profile was an autocorrect for "middle aged" 1.3806 0.05280 155 111 29 15
1520 Why so defensive? 1.3806 0.05036 155 108 35 12
1521 I heard you have an emotional support horse. 1.3806 0.05280 155 111 29 15
1522 Mister, I'm not interested in any one knight stands. 1.3804 0.04731 184 130 38 16
1523 I don't think this is going to work. You just seem too guarded. 1.3804 0.04539 184 127 44 13
1524 Let's just agree that you are only a metaphor and call it a day. 1.3804 0.04539 184 127 44 13
1525 Well, your profile did say you were old-fashioned. 1.3804 0.04282 163 106 52 5
1526 Nice try, George, but chivalry is still dead. 1.3804 0.04939 163 114 36 13
1527 I'm a big fan of safe sex. 1.3804 0.04622 163 110 44 9
1528 I don't think this'll work out. You're too defensive. 1.3804 0.04862 163 113 38 12
1529 I have to say, from your profile picture I was expecting you to be taller. 1.3803 0.05070 142 97 36 9
1530 I was just wondering how things are going with you...no need to get so defensive. 1.3803 0.05263 142 99 32 11
1531 Let us skip the small talk and get straight to the rescue. 1.3801 0.04703 171 118 41 12
1532 Late middle age is when I found my true calling. 1.3801 0.04987 171 122 33 16
1533 Congrats, you finally got your round table. 1.3801 0.04987 171 122 33 16
1534 What’s wrong? You seem a thousand years away. 1.3801 0.04478 171 115 47 9
1535 Would you be embarrassed if I asked for a straw? 1.3801 0.04847 171 120 37 14
1536 This is not what I had in mind when I asked for a night out on the town. 1.3799 0.04889 179 128 34 17
1537 ...then ask for a straw! 1.3799 0.04557 179 123 44 12
1538 So, do you joust around here? 1.3799 0.04557 179 123 44 12
1539 Just another knight to forget. 1.3797 0.04968 158 110 36 12
1540 I appreciate the dinner but I'm still not certain that I'm ready for a one knight stand! 1.3797 0.05048 158 111 34 13
1541 Martha, Sometimes a suit of armour is just a suit of armour. 1.3797 0.04803 158 108 40 10
1542 It's the standard uniform for cabinet members when dining out these days. 1.3797 0.04614 187 131 41 15
1543 Let's skip the drinks... I can't wait to get you out of that suit! 1.3796 0.05296 137 95 32 10
1544 Oh, you're Jewish? I wondered why this knight was different from all other knights," 1.3795 0.05022 166 118 33 15
1545 You look exactly like your picture . 1.3795 0.05166 166 120 29 17
1546 Yeah? Well I think that underneath that cold, hard exterior lies a cold, hard interior. 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1547 I wanted you to feel like a princess. 1.3795 0.04403 166 110 49 7
1548 Well, you dropped your shield, but I still feel that I don't know you. 1.3793 0.05277 145 102 31 12
1549 When you said, "a night out," I had something different in mind. 1.3793 0.04426 174 117 48 9
1550 When you’re part of this administration, you have to remain incognito at restaurants.” 1.3793 0.04855 174 123 36 15
1551 Frustrating yes, but more effective than A.A. 1.3791 0.04637 182 127 41 14
1552 Darn autocorrect...I meant to type "Date Night" 1.3791 0.04702 182 128 39 15
1553 I just can’t get through to you anymore, Lance 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1554 What makes you say I have vulnerability issues? 1.3791 0.05487 153 112 24 17
1555 It's been ages since my last date too. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1556 My other suit is at the cleaners. 1.3789 0.04310 190 129 50 11
1557 Can I get a straw? 1.3789 0.04622 190 134 40 16
1558 The dating service never mentioned a one-knight stand. 1.3789 0.04980 161 113 35 13
1559 Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. Why isn't it ever Lancelot? 1.3789 0.05057 161 114 33 14
1560 I usually avoid blind dates, but my therapist says I need to let down my guard. 1.3789 0.04980 161 113 35 13
1561 Well, this is not the knight I expected. 1.3787 0.04957 169 120 34 15
1562 So…how was the tournament? 1.3787 0.04739 169 117 40 12
1563 Thanks, but I slay my own dragons. 1.3786 0.05409 140 99 29 12
1564 I am guessing that your previous experiences with online dating have not been positive. 1.3785 0.04375 177 119 49 9
1565 I also believe in safe sex but this is going a bit too far. 1.3785 0.04590 177 122 43 12
1566 I said EMOTIONAL armor. 1.3785 0.04520 177 121 45 11
1567 Your profile said you were looking for amour 1.3782 0.04327 193 132 49 12
1568 You're a lot shinier in person. 1.3782 0.04327 193 132 49 12
1569 I have a drinking problem. 1.3782 0.05252 156 112 29 15
1570 I hate it when you get so defensive. 1.3782 0.05172 156 111 31 14
1571 You probably wonder what I do. 1.3780 0.05064 164 117 32 15
1572 I think you’ll need a straw. 1.3780 0.04600 164 111 44 9
1573 I thought the protection you were bringing would be more flexible 1.3780 0.04990 164 116 34 14
1574 It's been ages since my last relationship. 1.3779 0.04457 172 116 47 9
1575 I'm also emotionally guarded 1.3779 0.04457 172 116 47 9
1576 Your profile mentioned you were a little rusty at this... 1.3779 0.04963 172 123 33 16
1577 Another Knight to forget. 1.3779 0.04824 172 121 37 14
1578 Are you still errant or in town for a while? 1.3778 0.04737 180 127 38 15
1579 I understand you're into heavy metal. 1.3778 0.04671 180 126 40 14
1580 Knight takes Queen 1.3778 0.04605 180 125 42 13
1581 You need to learn to be less defensive. 1.3777 0.04716 188 134 37 17
1582 This was not the knight I had in mind. 1.3775 0.04338 204 142 47 15
1583 You said on Tinder that you came with a horse. 1.3771 0.04624 175 121 42 12
1584 Sorry if I seem a little defensive ... 1.3771 0.04254 175 116 52 7
1585 This isn't the first time I've had a memorable night at a round table. 1.3771 0.04553 175 120 44 11
1586 I don't think it'll work out for us ... Not that I don't appreciate a guy who uses protection, though! 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
1587 I know we said we’d take it slow, but I wish you’d make an effort to open up to me. 1.3770 0.04417 183 125 47 11
1588 I think you need to update your profile picture. 1.3770 0.04617 183 128 41 14
1589 No, nothing in my profile is “just an expression.” 1.3770 0.04485 183 126 45 12
1590 So you weren't just being cute when you called yourself a knight in shining armor on your dating profile? 1.3768 0.04401 207 146 44 17
1591 Oh, I thought you said Cruise. I have not been on a Crusade. 1.3768 0.05060 138 94 36 8
1592 I really only wanted a man to pull out my chair for me. 1.3766 0.04794 154 105 40 9
1593 ...and our prenup will have to be ironclad. 1.3766 0.04705 154 104 42 8
1594 It just feels like we are from different eras. 1.3765 0.04798 162 112 39 11
1595 I’m not sure why, but I’ve been told that I should let down my guard more. 1.3765 0.04798 162 112 39 11
1596 Now I see why you wanted me to reserve a round table. 1.3765 0.04716 170 118 40 12
1597 It says in your bio you like horses? 1.3765 0.04489 170 115 46 9
1598 You have your emotional armour, and I’ve got mine 1.3765 0.04489 170 115 46 9
1599 Not what I had in mind when I said I wanted a night out. 1.3765 0.04642 170 117 42 11
1600 I should have asked for details when you said you enjoyed the "nightlife". 1.3764 0.04773 178 126 37 15
1601 I presume that you're a virgin. 1.3763 0.04563 186 130 42 14
1602 This is the last time I post, “Looking for my knight in shining armor”. 1.3763 0.04689 186 132 38 16
1603 So tell me, why is this knight different from all other knights? 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1604 I didn't fully appreciate what this place meant by 'Date Knight' 1.3758 0.04984 157 110 35 12
1605 Henry, do you have to do this every time we go to Round Table Pizza...and quit calling me Guinevere. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1606 You call that "shining?" 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1607 In these times, one has to develop a tough exterior. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1608 I wish you would open up to me someday. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1609 I knew Galahad. Galahad was my friend. You,sir, are no Galahad. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1610 I'm sorry if I misled you, but I'm looking to be joust friends. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1611 Susan realized too late that she severely misunderstood "Speed Dating Knights" 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1612 So, you agree, you have put up some barriers to intimacy. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
1613 My social skills are a little rusty. 1.3757 0.04844 181 130 34 17
1614 I brought protection 1.3757 0.04716 181 128 38 15
1615 So, do you take the armor off before, during, or after? 1.3757 0.04650 181 127 40 14
1616 Do you have to insist on the round table every time? 1.3750 0.05114 168 122 29 17
1617 Why do you always request a round table? 1.3750 0.04742 176 124 38 14
1618 You seem a little defensive tonight 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
1619 You seem really guarded this evening. 1.3750 0.04465 184 127 45 12
1620 So, tell me your feelings about protected sex. 1.3750 0.04660 184 130 39 15
1621 I haven't dated in years so, yes, you're going to encounter some rust here and there. 1.3750 0.04834 152 104 39 9
1622 It’s been a while since I’ve been out with anyone. I might be a bit rusty. 1.3750 0.05296 144 102 30 12
1623 It’s just so hard to get people to let their guard down these days. 1.3750 0.04459 176 120 46 10
1624 If you think this is bad, wait until you see my emotional armor. 1.3750 0.04754 160 110 40 10
1625 How about a knight cap? 1.3750 0.05044 168 121 31 16
1626 Well, I did promise you a knight to remember. 1.3750 0.05182 152 108 31 13
1627 Father did always say to wear protection. 1.3750 0.04753 168 117 39 12
1628 You might need a straw 1.3750 0.04400 192 133 46 13
1629 This is not what I meant when I said I want a night out! 1.3750 0.04996 160 113 34 13
1630 I meant figuratively, not literally. 1.3744 0.04353 195 135 47 13
1631 Oh...your profile meant verbal jousting...that makes more sense. 1.3743 0.04790 187 135 34 18
1632 I didn't mention it in my profile because people are so quick to judge. 1.3743 0.04790 187 135 34 18
1633 It's a very scary time for young men. 1.3743 0.04543 187 131 42 14
1634 Really? All of this just for a "Sir Loin" joke? 1.3743 0.04685 179 126 39 14
1635 There are other ways to quit drinking. 1.3743 0.04620 171 118 42 11
1636 Is that your lance? 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
1637 ... and that then led to a regional manager position at Medieval Times. 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
1638 You're the one being defensive! 1.3743 0.04620 171 118 42 11
1639 I should have said I wanted a "day" out on the town. 1.3743 0.04767 171 120 38 13
1640 What? You asked for a knight out. 1.3743 0.04545 171 117 44 10
1641 I can’t bear to get hurt again. 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
1642 I think you greatly misunderstood your sex education teacher. 1.3742 0.05109 155 110 32 13
1643 I thought you worked FOR Under Armour 1.3742 0.05026 155 109 34 12
1644 I just feel like everyone has their guard up on first dates. 1.3741 0.04549 147 97 45 5
1645 Why should I think that this night is different from all other nights? 1.3741 0.04942 147 101 37 9
1646 Call me old fashioned, but I think a guy should dress up for a first date. 1.3741 0.04942 147 101 37 9
1647 I'm sensing that you're a bit defensive 1.3738 0.04412 206 146 43 17
1648 I was the Op-Ed Writer. 1.3737 0.04366 198 138 46 14
1649 This is the only suit I own 1.3736 0.04428 182 125 46 11
1650 Ha ha. Let me guess. Date knight? 1.3736 0.04759 182 130 36 16
1651 I thought 'Take a nice knight out.' was a typo. 1.3736 0.04563 182 127 42 13
1652 Did you just say, "Oil can" 1.3736 0.05048 174 127 29 18
1653 I meant that we should talk about your emotional armor. 1.3736 0.04491 174 119 45 10
1654 Your bio said I am in for a knight I will never forget." 1.3735 0.04556 166 113 44 9
1655 I asked for more Chianti, not Quixote. 1.3735 0.04866 166 117 36 13
1656 M'thinks we need to see other people... 1.3734 0.04792 158 109 39 10
1657 You really need to open up, Bob. 1.3734 0.04958 158 111 35 12
1658 This week has felt like an absolute battle. 1.3734 0.04958 158 111 35 12
1659 Are you going to put the visor down every time I start talking? 1.3734 0.05118 158 113 31 14
1660 If you want this to go anywhere, you're going to have to drop your guard. 1.3734 0.04792 158 109 39 10
1661 "I hate the plume." 1.3734 0.04876 158 110 37 11
1662 You don't need to be so defensive all the time. 1.3734 0.04958 158 111 35 12
1663 Nice try, but I can see right through you.... 1.3733 0.05054 150 105 34 11
1664 Another boring knight out. 1.3733 0.05054 150 105 34 11
1665 Who does your rivets? 1.3731 0.04062 193 129 56 8
1666 Chivalry schivalry, we're splitting the check. 1.3729 0.04720 177 125 38 14
1667 You need a straw? 1.3728 0.04876 169 120 35 14
1668 Well Brett, your backstory seems ironclad. 1.3728 0.04876 169 120 35 14
1669 Are you going to open up or shall I ask for a straw? 1.3728 0.04948 169 121 33 15
1670 Well I think it has a metallic aftertaste. 1.3728 0.05157 169 124 27 18
1671 When you said you were looking for a lady with polish ... 1.3727 0.05199 161 117 28 16
1672 So this is how men are protecting themselves against Me Too? 1.3727 0.05124 161 116 30 15
1673 You're probably used to a round table. 1.3727 0.04648 161 110 42 9
1674 So, I’m guessing safe sex isn’t an issue with you. 1.3727 0.04730 161 111 40 10
1675 Your voice message said you wanted a fun knight out on the town! 1.3727 0.04970 161 114 34 13
1676 Well, it's better than last Halloween when you went as a corpse. 1.3725 0.04808 153 105 39 9
1677 I hear the dragon is excellent! 1.3725 0.04897 153 106 37 10
1678 It’s just that I thought you were referring to ‘emotional armor’ in your dating profile. 1.3724 0.04888 145 99 38 8
1679 Well, you don’t exactly look like your profile picture either. 1.3723 0.04523 188 132 42 14
1680 I got hurt pretty bad when my last relationship ended. 1.3720 0.04750 164 114 39 11
1681 Enjoying date knight? 1.3720 0.04750 164 114 39 11
1682 My last date said I was a little too guarded. 1.3720 0.04590 164 112 43 9
1683 First knight jitters? 1.3720 0.04828 164 115 37 12
1684 I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't what I was expecting when you said you were a little "old fashioned." 1.3718 0.04916 156 109 36 11
1685 I must say, this isn't quite what I imagined when your dating profile described you as a renaissance man" 1.3716 0.05276 148 106 29 13
1686 So, um ... who does your plume? 1.3714 0.04543 175 121 43 11
1687 OK, I'm ready. Tell me what you thought of my play. 1.3713 0.04186 202 139 51 12
1688 It's my favorite kind of table too. 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
1689 Kudos on your thoughtfulness, but I think you missed the nuance in 'I expect you to wear protection.' 1.3713 0.04915 167 119 34 14
1690 I guess the dating site takes your requests pretty literally. 1.3713 0.05060 167 121 30 16
1691 I thought you'd be younger. 1.3713 0.04915 167 119 34 14
1692 I think we should see other people. It's been fun, but we've never seen eye-to-eye. 1.3713 0.04453 167 113 46 8
1693 Would it kill them to bring me a straw? 1.3713 0.05201 167 123 26 18
1694 When you said you worked in court I didn't picture this. 1.3713 0.04690 167 116 40 11
1695 When I asked “do you use protection”... 1.3711 0.05091 159 114 31 14
1696 That ridiculous suit of armor doesn't prove chivalry isn't dead, but it does prove that you're an idiot. 1.3711 0.05168 159 115 29 15
1697 Honestly Harold, I didn't mean that suit. 1.3711 0.05091 159 114 31 14
1698 This dump again? Of all the knights in the kingdom I had to pick Sir Tightwad. 1.3710 0.04619 186 132 39 15
1699 Enjoyed your ad, though I assumed ''knight'' was a typo. 1.3709 0.05027 151 106 34 11
1700 Darling,would you please ask the waiter for a straw. 1.3709 0.04938 151 105 36 10
1701 I’m just used to much larger round table.” 1.3708 0.04490 178 123 44 11
1702 No, you smile first. 1.3708 0.04490 178 123 44 11
1703 You could ask for a straw. 1.3708 0.04630 178 125 40 13
1704 Chivalry is not dead, just tired 1.3708 0.04490 178 123 44 11
1705 So tell me-- how long have you had the nickname "Rusty"? 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1706 No, honey, I said date NIGHT. 1.3706 0.05063 170 124 29 17
1707 Is this going to be a good knight or a bad knight? 1.3706 0.04480 170 116 45 9
1708 As my profile says, I'm into heavy metal. 1.3706 0.04707 170 119 39 12
1709 I know you prefer round tables, but I'd prefer a booth. 1.3706 0.04632 170 118 41 11
1710 Your logic is ironclad. 1.3706 0.04321 170 114 49 7
1711 So, do you like jousting? 1.3704 0.05022 162 116 32 14
1712 Seriously? 1.3704 0.04441 189 132 44 13
1713 I know my profile said "seeking knight in shinning armor" but I was hoping for a little more shine and a little less armor. 1.3704 0.04945 162 115 34 13
1714 You don't look like your profile pic. 1.3701 0.04957 154 108 35 11
1715 After my divorce, my friends say I've been a bit guarded. 1.3701 0.04871 154 107 37 10
1716 Don’t you think your “anonymous reviewer” disguise is going too far? 1.3699 0.05065 173 127 28 18
1717 Check, mate. 1.3699 0.04792 173 123 36 14
1718 My ad said I enjoy verbal jousting. 1.3699 0.04721 173 122 38 13
1719 Your armor isn’t as shiny as your profile pic. 1.3699 0.05052 146 102 34 10
1720 Must the table always be round? 1.3699 0.05144 146 103 32 11
1721 Well, this certainly makes it harder to determine if you’re really 45. 1.3698 0.04330 192 133 47 12
1722 I'll show you what’s under mine if you show me what ’s under yours, 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
1723 You do realize, that when I said in my profile I wanted to meet my knight in shining armor, that was just a figure of speech, don't you? 1.3697 0.04880 165 117 35 13
1724 Marcie considered the empty flea market suit of armor quietly rusting across the table from her and concluded that this was neither the best blind date nor the worst. 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
1725 Yes, I DID have to reserve a round table. 1.3697 0.04403 165 111 47 7
1726 Right…so you ARE a knight and this IS a round table.” 1.3697 0.04403 165 111 47 7
1727 My profile clearly says I tend to be a little protective. 1.3696 0.04181 184 124 52 8
1728 Really Ted, there’s no need to be so defensive. 1.3696 0.05641 138 101 23 14
1729 Do we have to sit at a round table? 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1730 I know love is a battlefield, but was this really necessary? 1.3694 0.04806 157 109 38 10
1731 My Mama said there'd be knights like this. 1.3694 0.05055 157 112 32 13
1732 Long walks on the beach are actually a bit difficult, but I do like piña coladas. 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
1733 Pillage here often? 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
1734 Well you're the one who said I should be more armorous! 1.3693 0.04522 176 122 43 11
1735 Our problem is that I'm a morning person and you're a knight person. 1.3693 0.04664 176 124 39 13
1736 Date knight? So you're a professional pun? 1.3693 0.04868 176 127 33 16
1737 Thank goodness! You look just like your picture! 1.3693 0.04377 176 120 47 9
1738 You're not very open are you? 1.3690 0.04818 168 119 36 13
1739 You looked shinier in your pictures. 1.3690 0.04818 168 119 36 13
1740 The dating site DID promise a night to remember." 1.3690 0.04432 168 114 46 8
1741 I suppose this is a knight I'll never forget. 1.3690 0.04743 168 118 38 12
1742 I appreciate this Jerry, but what would you have done if I'd asked you to be my Rock? 1.3690 0.04667 168 117 40 11
1743 I never go on a date without protection. 1.3690 0.04667 168 117 40 11
1744 I detect metallic notes. 1.3690 0.04471 187 131 43 13
1745 I thought you promised me a “night” I wouldn’t forget. 1.3690 0.04471 187 131 43 13
1746 Is this your idea of a date knight? 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
1747 Well, at least there won't be any awkward good night kiss business. 1.3687 0.04660 160 110 41 9
1748 When I said I wanted a night out on the town, this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
1749 I've been told I'm emotionally guarded. 1.3687 0.04254 179 121 50 8
1750 You’re acting very defensive tonight. 1.3687 0.04540 179 125 42 12
1751 I get the feeling you’re still not ready to commit. 1.3687 0.04743 179 128 36 15
1752 With a disapproving glance, Roy's date let him know he'd chosen the wrong suit for the evening. 1.3687 0.04608 179 126 40 13
1753 I have a bigger round table back at my place. 1.3687 0.04299 198 138 47 13
1754 Sorry I'm late, I came straight from my knight class. 1.3684 0.04302 171 115 49 7
1755 Not your idea of a knight out? 1.3684 0.04912 152 106 36 10
1756 Lately you seem so closed off. 1.3684 0.04999 152 107 34 11
1757 I am NOT defensive! 1.3684 0.04381 171 116 47 8
1758 I’m going as an accountant. You? 1.3684 0.04684 171 120 39 12
1759 My ex-husband called me a battle ax, so yes, I think we are made for each other. 1.3681 0.04555 182 128 41 13
1760 My psychologist says it's a defense mechanism. 1.3681 0.03986 182 120 57 5
1761 You say you are a Supreme Court nominee? 1.3681 0.05219 163 120 26 17
1762 I don't care if the "knight is young" but I'd rather go home now. 1.3681 0.04763 163 114 38 11
1763 Because you told me to wear my best suit. 1.3681 0.05097 144 101 33 10
1764 Let me guess. This isn't your first online date! 1.3681 0.05375 144 104 27 13
1765 "Lest this first date be also the last I wouldst now see thee raise thy glass and too thy visor, buddy boy." 1.3681 0.05553 144 106 23 15
1766 Are you on guard with all women or just now that you are on the Supreme Court? 1.3681 0.05375 144 104 27 13
1767 Arthur, I think calling me defensive is your projection. 1.3679 0.04495 193 137 41 15
1768 I admit that when I read your profile, I thought it was just an expression when you said you were a crusader. 1.3678 0.04555 174 121 42 11
1769 It’s harder now that bars have stopped offering straws. 1.3678 0.04628 174 122 40 12
1770 Why couldn't we just get a square table like everyone else? 1.3678 0.04699 174 123 38 13
1771 Who says that chivalry is dead? 1.3678 0.04482 174 120 44 10
1772 I wouldn’t have gone out with you if I’d known you were so defensive. 1.3678 0.04838 174 125 34 15
1773 They don't have straws here anymore. 1.3677 0.05098 155 111 31 13
1774 Great time to ban straws... 1.3677 0.04758 155 107 39 9
1775 I'll keep drinking until you're shining. 1.3677 0.05015 155 110 33 12
1776 See, Mildred, chivalry is NOT dead! 1.3677 0.04669 155 106 41 8
1777 If you see the waiter again, ask for a straw? 1.3677 0.05098 155 111 31 13
1778 No need to be so defensive. 1.3677 0.04845 155 108 37 10
1779 So ask the damn waiter for a straw! 1.3677 0.05015 155 110 33 12
1780 Don't give me that look. You said you needed a knight out. 1.3676 0.04502 185 130 42 13
1781 I thought you’d be shinier. 1.3675 0.04930 166 119 33 14
1782 I'm always a little cautious on a first date." 1.3675 0.05004 166 120 31 15
1783 You're not what I had in mind when I said I wanted a good night out. 1.3675 0.04856 166 118 35 13
1784 Some people say I am a bit defensive. 1.3675 0.04780 166 117 37 12
1785 I think we ought to call it a knight. 1.3673 0.05206 147 105 30 12
1786 Shirley was beginning to regret agreeing to date knight. 1.3673 0.05206 147 105 30 12
1787 At that moment, she knew that metaphor was not her friend. 1.3673 0.05382 147 107 26 14
1788 The dating scene these days is a real battlefield. 1.3672 0.04642 177 125 39 13
1789 You look just like your picture 1.3672 0.04711 177 126 37 14
1790 Yes, it comes in High Shine and also in Matte finish. 1.3672 0.04572 177 124 41 12
1791 “Je t'aime mon armor” 1.3671 0.05107 158 114 30 14
1792 Shut your face! 1.3671 0.05028 158 113 32 13
1793 Your armor isn't as shiny as it is in your profile. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
1794 My profile clearly stated that I’m looking for amour ... NOT ARMOR! 1.3671 0.04947 158 112 34 12
1795 Chivalry might not be dead, but this date is. 1.3670 0.04761 188 137 33 18
1796 Doris always preferred a quiet date knight. 1.3670 0.04515 188 133 41 14
1797 After this glass of wine, maybe we can go back to my place for a knight cap. 1.3669 0.05079 169 124 28 17
1798 You seem very guarded! 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
1799 People often tell me I’m too guarded on first dates. 1.3669 0.04568 169 117 42 10
1800 Nice suit, but ties are required. 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
1801 No, Harold, we're not getting a warhorse. 1.3667 0.04786 180 130 34 16
1802 Well you don't look anything like your picture either" 1.3667 0.04380 180 124 46 10
1803 Where I come from, it's not considered presumptuous to bring protection on a first date. 1.3667 0.04953 150 105 35 10
1804 Is this what you meant by knightcap? 1.3667 0.05131 150 107 31 12
1805 I said I wanted a night in Ann Arbor! 1.3667 0.04654 180 128 38 14
1806 It has notes of apricot and fig, with just a hint of tin and zinc" 1.3665 0.04465 191 135 42 14
1807 Wow, we're both into 17th century British poetry! 1.3663 0.04514 172 119 43 10
1808 Your profile said the armour would be shining. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
1809 Honestly, from your profile I expected a bit more luster. 1.3661 0.04534 183 129 41 13
1810 Dr. Weintraub said I needed better psychological armor. But we settled for this. 1.3660 0.04796 153 106 38 9
1811 What? It's my best suit! 1.3660 0.04885 153 107 36 10
1812 Maybe I do say "literally" too often. 1.3660 0.04973 153 108 34 11
1813 You're late. 1.3660 0.04476 194 138 41 15
1814 I feel safer in it since that whole Kavanaugh thing. 1.3659 0.05119 164 120 28 16
1815 One can not be too careful when ordering steak flambe. 1.3659 0.04413 164 111 46 7
1816 It was supposed to be a metaphor. 1.3659 0.04740 164 115 38 11
1817 First date in a long while? 1.3659 0.04971 164 118 32 14
1818 I hate date knight. 1.3659 0.05119 164 120 28 16
1819 So if you're up on your tetanus shots, I was thinking we could head back to my place... 1.3659 0.04660 164 114 40 10
1820 Damned auto-correct - my Tinder post was for an exciting night 1.3657 0.04606 175 123 40 12
1821 I understand from your profile that you're a little shy. 1.3657 0.04534 175 122 42 11
1822 You say "armor," I say "amore." 1.3656 0.04483 186 131 42 13
1823 What do you say we take this to my place for a Knight-cap 1.3656 0.04483 186 131 42 13
1824 I haven't been out in ages. Sorry if I'm a bit rusty. 1.3654 0.04905 156 110 35 11
1825 Do we have to joust over the bill again?! 1.3654 0.04555 156 106 43 7
1826 Damn spellcheck. Next time I will say "evening" preferred. 1.3654 0.04905 156 110 35 11
1827 If you say, "Mmpphhht uffa gishhes" one more time, I'm going to scream 1.3653 0.05051 167 122 29 16
1828 Well, my guard is up too, buddy. 1.3653 0.04906 167 120 33 14
1829 I am wondering about your concept of safe sex. 1.3653 0.04906 167 120 33 14
1830 Awfully defensive, aren’t you? 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
1831 Don't think that after one glass of wine we'll be having a one-knight stand. 1.3652 0.04689 178 127 37 14
1832 Why do we always have to dine at a round table? 1.3652 0.04756 178 128 35 15
1833 I'm leaving you for someone shinier. 1.3652 0.04621 178 126 39 13
1834 I assume you will be expecting a “good knight” kiss? 1.3652 0.04481 178 124 43 11
1835 You might want to update your profile picture 1.3652 0.04410 178 123 45 10
1836 Hope you didn't mind the long wait, but I only sit at round tables. 1.3651 0.04432 189 133 43 13
1837 So, what do you do when you're not jousting? 1.3651 0.05475 126 89 28 9
1838 I hear you, but I still feel this is something of an overreaction to the #MeToo movement. 1.3649 0.05436 148 109 24 15
1839 Marge decided then that this would be her last knight out. 1.3648 0.04840 159 112 36 11
1840 Do we always have to sit at this round table? 1.3648 0.05002 159 114 32 13
1841 You don't look like your profile picture. 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
1842 Tannins? What tannins? I get subtle hints of face mask. 1.3647 0.04771 170 121 36 13
1843 Sorry. I never joust on the first date. 1.3646 0.04633 181 129 38 14
1844 You know, this isn't the first round table I've sat around. 1.3646 0.04430 181 126 44 11
1845 No Frank, I am looking for "le grand amour"... 1.3643 0.05664 140 104 21 15
1846 Frank, I said date NIGHT, not date knight. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1847 Well I think you're being a little defensive. 1.3642 0.05012 162 117 31 14
1848 Shall I ask the sommelier to bring you a straw? 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
1849 This isn't what I pictured when you said "Date Knight" 1.3642 0.05012 162 117 31 14
1850 Next time the dating app tells me "you've got mail" I'll take it more seriously. 1.3642 0.04856 162 115 35 12
1851 I was hoping you would let your guard down this evening 1.3642 0.04640 173 122 39 12
1852 Here's hoping for a knight to remember. 1.3642 0.04852 173 125 33 15
1853 Am I correct? You majored in medieval history. 1.3642 0.04640 173 122 39 12
1854 I just like to hear you say ,'Good Night' and mean it. 1.3642 0.04782 173 124 35 14
1855 It's my response to the #MeToo movement. 1.3642 0.04712 173 123 37 13
1856 You never shine it like you used to. 1.3641 0.04770 184 134 33 17
1857 This isn't what I meant when I asked for a date night 1.3636 0.04946 154 109 34 11
1858 What makes you think I need rescuing? 1.3636 0.04655 176 125 38 13
1859 I don’t feel like being feudal tonight, Marty 1.3636 0.04590 187 134 38 15
1860 Spell-check got it wrong. I wanted a unique night out 1.3636 0.05436 154 115 22 17
1861 I have some battle scars from my last relationship. 1.3636 0.04681 154 106 40 8
1862 Would a straw help? 1.3636 0.04398 187 131 44 12
1863 Actually, when you called and asked, 'How about a knight on the town?', I misunderstood. 1.3636 0.05165 165 122 26 17
1864 What makes you say I'm guarded? 1.3636 0.04870 165 118 34 13
1865 My friend told me I should wear some protection. 1.3636 0.04655 176 125 38 13
1866 So you just sit at any round table you see? 1.3636 0.05113 143 101 32 10
1867 I just feel like there's this barrier between us... 1.3636 0.04513 176 123 42 11
1868 Are you going to open up, or should I order you a straw? 1.3636 0.04716 165 116 38 11
1869 When is the food coming? We‘ve been waiting for centuries. 1.3636 0.04870 165 118 34 13
1870 I'm not wearing underpants. 1.3632 0.04659 190 138 35 17
1871 It’s not me, it’s you. 1.3631 0.04530 179 126 41 12
1872 I’m just saying, a real knight in shining armor would’ve asked if I preferred the Chardonnay. 1.3631 0.04461 179 125 43 11
1873 Well, people use to say I was too thin-skinned. 1.3631 0.04461 179 125 43 11
1874 I'm squeaking. Order something oily. 1.3631 0.04599 179 127 39 13
1875 I thought you said you liked old-fashioned guys 1.3631 0.04461 179 125 43 11
1876 I want a divorce. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
1877 I wish you’d let your guard down. 1.3631 0.04733 168 119 37 12
1878 Mama told me to use protection when I started dating." 1.3631 0.04580 168 117 41 10
1879 I'm not sure this is working out, Rupert. I sense a little defensiveness. 1.3631 0.04795 157 110 37 10
1880 The 80's called, Karen. They want their shoulder pads back. 1.3631 0.05203 157 115 27 15
1881 So basically, you’ll get chivalry back, and I’ll get to own all the land and tax everyone. 1.3626 0.04546 182 129 40 13
1882 Alice said that it’d be a knight to remember. I wish that she’d said it in writing. 1.3626 0.04677 182 131 36 15
1883 Margaret, I wish you could just see past my defenses. 1.3626 0.04478 182 128 42 12
1884 I think I'm taking a shine to you 1.3626 0.04341 182 126 46 10
1885 Rook to queen bishop 4, unless you have other moves in mind. 1.3626 0.04612 182 130 38 14
1886 Well you are wearing something different from your online profile picture, too. 1.3626 0.04478 182 128 42 12
1887 What do you think of heavy metal? 1.3626 0.04341 182 126 46 10
1888 I’m just not ready to commit to a relationship that includes a horse. 1.3626 0.04410 182 127 44 11
1889 I should have asked for a straw. 1.3626 0.04890 171 124 32 15
1890 My name is Galahad but my friends call me Rusty. 1.3626 0.04600 171 120 40 11
1891 A knight cap - I know what you’re thinking. 1.3625 0.04975 160 115 32 13
1892 I mean, no one’s dating profile is perfectly accurate. 1.3624 0.04686 149 102 40 7
1893 I know you have a problem with showing your true self but I thought you meant emotionally... 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1894 If you don't want to be seen with me, there are other ways. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1895 You know, if this relationship is ever going to work, you need to let your guard down. 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
1896 Chivalry is not dead. It's being re-enacted. 1.3622 0.04319 196 138 45 13
1897 I've dated guys with emotional walls but, this is ridiculous. 1.3622 0.04428 185 130 43 12
1898 No , not really. You don't seem all that unhinged to me. 1.3621 0.04689 174 124 37 13
1899 Sorry Martha, I cheated on you! 1.3621 0.04829 174 126 33 15
1900 Some people reminisce about the days of yore. I do something about it. 1.3620 0.04753 163 115 37 11
1901 I used to be much more guarded. 1.3620 0.04672 163 114 39 10
1902 Go ahead, ask the sommelier. I’m telling you 1297AD was NOT a very good year. 1.3618 0.05243 152 111 27 14
1903 Every time I bring this up you get so defensive. 1.3617 0.04313 188 131 46 11
1904 When I said I was interested in the Renaissance I really just meant the art. 1.3616 0.04633 177 126 38 13
1905 And I thought chivalry was dead. 1.3616 0.04633 177 126 38 13
1906 Not that kind of crusade. 1.3616 0.04633 177 126 38 13
1907 So… I can remove it on the 3rd date? 1.3616 0.04633 177 126 38 13
1908 something tells me this is going to be a one knight stand. 1.3614 0.05067 166 122 28 16
1909 It’s nothing personal. It’s just that my ISO ad was for a Renaissance man. 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
1910 Sticks and stones my ass. 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
1911 It's hard for me to catch the waiters' eye, could you ask for a straw? 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
1912 I don't normally brag, but I'm kind of a Rennaisance man. 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
1913 Frankly, you looked shinier on Tinder. 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
1914 It's fine. You're just less shining than your photo. 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
1915 I told you they wouldn't have straws here. 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
1916 Where I come from, this is business casual 1.3613 0.04834 155 109 36 10
1917 Keep the lance down,Trevor. 1.3613 0.05004 155 111 32 12
1918 Nobody ever remembers my face but they always remember my name.. 1.3613 0.04657 155 107 40 8
1919 M'lady, what, pray, is a "Medieval Dickweed"? 1.3613 0.05087 155 112 30 13
1920 auto correct changed 'where's your email' to 'wear your mail?' 1.3611 0.04777 180 131 33 16
1921 Long thought dead, Chivalry returns to the dating scene. 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
1922 Bad hair day again Edna 1.3611 0.04789 144 99 38 7
1923 This isn't what I was expecting when I read that you liked heavy metal in your profile. 1.3609 0.04784 169 121 35 13
1924 So when your profile said "man of steel" you weren't kidding. 1.3609 0.04784 169 121 35 13
1925 Your armor was shinier in your profile picture. 1.3609 0.04238 169 114 49 6
1926 My profile did promise a knight to remember. 1.3608 0.05097 158 115 29 14
1927 This isn't my first one knight stand 1.3608 0.04854 158 112 35 11
1928 When will you come out? 1.3608 0.05097 158 115 29 14
1929 “Besides Dungeons and Dragons what else do you do for fun?” 1.3608 0.04598 158 109 41 8
1930 You're afraid they'll recognize you from what incident? 1.3608 0.04770 158 111 37 10
1931 Do yoou need a straw? 1.3607 0.04458 183 129 42 12
1932 I was hoping you'd agree to a one-knight stand with me ... 1.3605 0.05103 147 105 31 11
1933 No, really. I want to hear about YOUR day. 1.3605 0.05194 147 106 29 12
1934 Are you still seeing Lance?" 1.3605 0.04866 172 125 32 15
1935 See? They DID have a round table! 1.3605 0.04578 172 121 40 11
1936 It's just been so long since I had a knight out 1.3605 0.04350 172 118 46 8
1937 So then King Arthur says, “how many knights does it take to change a light bulb?” 1.3605 0.04866 172 125 32 15
1938 I'm afraid I have a hard time letting my guard down. 1.3605 0.04725 172 123 36 13
1939 I said I was looking for Mr. RIGHT. 1.3605 0.04503 172 120 42 10
1940 You tweeted for a knight to remember. 1.3605 0.04725 172 123 36 13
1941 I'm weating a chastity belt in the same color 1.3605 0.04866 172 125 32 15
1942 Should I order a straw for you? 1.3605 0.04427 172 119 44 9
1943 Not bad, but I prefer the blood of my enemies 1.3605 0.04503 172 120 42 10
1944 It’s a dangerous time to be a young male in America. 1.3602 0.05027 161 117 30 14
1945 which personal pronoun do you prefer? 1.3602 0.04342 186 130 45 11
1946 And, as for me, I can be somewhat defensive. 1.3602 0.04538 186 133 39 14
1947 Your profile said you were taller. 1.3600 0.04667 175 125 37 13
1948 To be honest, when I posted on TINDR for a Knight in Shining Armor, I had Jon Hamm in mind. 1.3600 0.05119 150 108 30 12
1949 Of all the things to ban, it had to be straws. 1.3600 0.04737 175 126 35 14
1950 I'm guessing you've been wounded by past speed-dating experiences. 1.3600 0.05205 150 109 28 13
1951 Didn't you say you wanted a knight out? 1.3600 0.04849 150 105 36 9
1952 Jeff Flake at dinner. 1.3598 0.04649 164 115 39 10
1953 How long has it been since you've had a knight out? 1.3598 0.04649 164 115 39 10
1954 I thought you'd be on a horse. 1.3598 0.04807 164 117 35 12
1955 We'll do a gender reveal when the check comes. 1.3598 0.04960 164 119 31 14
1956 Sorry, when it comes to blind dates, I'm a little rusty. 1.3598 0.04807 164 117 35 12
1957 So then-you’re not gonna believe this-the kid actually pulls the sword out of the stone! 1.3598 0.04729 164 116 37 11
1958 Sorry, I can already tell this won’t be a knight to remember. 1.3596 0.04747 178 129 34 15
1959 #metoo really got you spooked, huh? 1.3596 0.04471 178 125 42 11
1960 Chivalry IS dead. I'm just cosplaying. 1.3596 0.04253 178 122 48 8
1961 Damn auto-correct for a romantic knight with protection." 1.3596 0.04879 178 131 30 17
1962 Sorry... I left my wallet in my other armor 1.3596 0.04327 178 123 46 9
1963 Can you wait just a minute while I slip into something more comfortable? 1.3595 0.04961 153 109 33 11
1964 Too much? 1.3595 0.04693 153 106 39 8
1965 YOU can ask the waiter for a straw! 1.3595 0.05296 153 113 25 15
1966 Online dating always feels so feudal to me. 1.3595 0.04784 153 107 37 9
1967 It’s been six years, Marvin. The ‘I’m your knight in shining armor’ thing is getting old.” 1.3593 0.04591 167 117 40 10
1968 Rita suddenly realizes her fairy godmother has taken her wish literally. 1.3593 0.04746 167 119 36 12
1969 I never said it'd be THE Round Table. 1.3591 0.04279 181 125 47 9
1970 My date next week? A scarecrow apparently. 1.3591 0.04624 181 130 37 14
1971 I was expecting more than one knight at the round table... 1.3591 0.04420 181 127 43 11
1972 Your argument that chivalry isn’t dead is oddly compelling. 1.3590 0.04357 156 105 46 5
1973 I'm so glad they could give us a round table 1.3590 0.04893 156 111 34 11
1974 When you said you would have to show up in your work clothes, I wasn't expecting this. 1.3590 0.04808 156 110 36 10
1975 Just because you're A knight in shining armor doesn't make you MY knight in shining armor. 1.3588 0.04833 170 123 33 14
1976 No. I don’t believe it’s a “scary time” for men. Check please! 1.3588 0.04905 170 124 31 15
1977 First, I'd like to hear about the knightly specials. 1.3588 0.04761 170 122 35 13
1978 Defensive? What makes you think I'm defensive? 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
1979 Tonight's the Knight 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
1980 Did you know that the Middle Ages were really called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights? 1.3586 0.05421 145 107 24 14
1981 My last Crusade also went poorly. 1.3585 0.04574 159 110 41 8
1982 Now I know why your nickname is Rusty. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
1983 I can see you took my dating profile quite literally. 1.3584 0.04630 173 123 38 12
1984 Are you jousting me? 1.3583 0.04389 187 132 43 12
1985 So.......joust much? 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1986 So you seem to be a little rusty at this speed dating thing. 1.3581 0.05164 148 107 29 12
1987 I've been craving a nice knight out on the town. 1.3581 0.05252 148 108 27 13
1988 I’m just working on my knight moves. 1.3581 0.05074 148 106 31 11
1989 It’s a dangerous time to be a young man. 1.3580 0.04845 162 116 34 12
1990 I bet you're one of those guys who feels weird about taking their socks off too. 1.3580 0.04766 162 115 36 11
1991 Wow, Scott, you take #ThrowBackThursdays to a whole new level. 1.3580 0.04845 162 116 34 12
1992 The dress code here is casual, not chivalrous. 1.3580 0.04766 162 115 36 11
1993 You always get so guarded when we talk about your childhood 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
1994 Must you clank with each sip? 1.3580 0.04430 176 123 43 10
1995 Your were shinier on Tinder 1.3580 0.04574 176 125 39 12
1996 You haven't touched your wine. 1.3580 0.04503 176 124 41 11
1997 Well, I did wish for a memorable night. 1.3580 0.04430 176 123 43 10
1998 Note to self, remove "attracted to men in suits" from my profile. 1.3580 0.04574 176 125 39 12
1999 But Brett, you could have ordered beer. As you say, ‘Everybody likes beer,’ and no one will recognize you in that get-up. 1.3580 0.04982 176 131 27 18
2000 So what happened after you and the Lady of the Lake broke up? 1.3579 0.04144 190 131 50 9
2001 I didn't know Brooks Bros. had a blacksmith's shop. 1.3576 0.04705 165 117 37 11
2002 Do you mind if I finish your wine? 1.3575 0.04658 179 129 36 14
2003 Mom, there’s something you should know about me. 1.3575 0.04658 179 129 36 14
2004 I still think make-up would cover that birthmark. 1.3571 0.04536 182 130 39 13
2005 When I asked you to bring protection I was referring to condoms! 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
2006 You're my first date knight ever. 1.3571 0.04847 154 109 35 10
2007 Maybe my profile put a little too much emphasis on chivalry. 1.3571 0.05019 154 111 31 12
2008 Thank you again for requesting a round table. 1.3571 0.04603 182 131 37 14
2009 What do you mean, "I'm emotionally unavailable"? 1.3571 0.04187 196 137 48 11
2010 I dub thee Sir Merlot-a-lot. 1.3568 0.04549 185 133 38 14
2011 Well, you said you wanted a knight to remember. 1.3568 0.04549 185 133 38 14
2012 Love is a battlefield. 1.3567 0.04664 171 122 37 12
2013 I think I've been taking too many iron supplements. 1.3567 0.04809 171 124 33 14
2014 I know. I know. The round table was so much bigger back then. 1.3567 0.04664 171 122 37 12
2015 How do you feel about long walks on the beach? 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
2016 Sorry, but I 'm thinking this may only be a one-knight stand. 1.3567 0.04737 171 123 35 13
2017 This is my first knight out in a long time. 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
2018 My doctor told me to always use protection 1.3567 0.04590 171 121 39 11
2019 Sorry, I know I can be a little guarded on a first date. 1.3567 0.04867 157 112 34 11
2020 oil can oil can oil can 1.3567 0.04697 157 110 38 9
2021 You look nothing like your profile picture 1.3567 0.04609 157 109 40 8
2022 So, Lance, just exactly, how long have you and this... this Guinevere person been seeing each other? 1.3567 0.04867 157 112 34 11
2023 So, are you having a good 'knight' so far? Ha ha ha.....sorry, joust joking! 1.3567 0.04867 157 112 34 11
2024 I, on the other hand, am feeling rather vulnerable. 1.3564 0.04304 188 132 45 11
2025 I never bring a can opener on the first date. 1.3563 0.04750 174 126 34 14
2026 Your profile said you were guarded, but... 1.3563 0.04461 174 122 42 10
2027 Nothing will get through to you. 1.3563 0.04461 174 122 42 10
2028 You got yourself into that mesh, you can get yourself out. 1.3563 0.04461 174 122 42 10
2029 I thought Sir Lancelot was just your screen name 1.3562 0.04803 160 114 35 11
2030 When I said I was looking for a knight in shining armor, I meant it metaphorically. 1.3562 0.04803 160 114 35 11
2031 All I can think of is that the tin man didn't have a heart. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
2032 Just so we're clear, there will be no castling queenside. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
2033 But it's vintage WD-40. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
2034 You look a lot different in person, actually. 1.3560 0.04630 191 140 34 17
2035 I enjoy long walks on the beach at sunset, candlelit dinners, and jousting. 1.3559 0.04336 177 123 45 9
2036 This is not what I meant when I asked you to be more chivalrous. 1.3559 0.04336 177 123 45 9
2037 Would it be wrong for me to admit that I'm imagining you naked? 1.3559 0.04827 177 130 31 16
2038 I get lubricated about once a week.... 1.3559 0.04262 177 122 47 8
2039 Let me explain what I meant by "date night." 1.3559 0.04623 177 127 37 13
2040 I am a bit old-fashioned. 1.3558 0.04898 163 118 32 13
2041 I'm glad we went with the round table. 1.3557 0.05393 149 111 23 15
2042 Think of me as being a lot like a lobster dinner... 1.3557 0.04474 149 101 43 5
2043 So, you want to get medieval tonight? 1.3557 0.04276 194 137 45 12
2044 Glad you picked an Italian place--I only eat spaghetti. 1.3557 0.04459 194 140 39 15
2045 Have you had difficult first dates before? 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
2046 Is that proposal iron-clad? 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
2047 The K is silent 1.3554 0.04274 166 113 47 6
2048 In hindsight, it may have been a bad idea to schedule this date on laundry day. 1.3554 0.04523 166 116 41 9
2049 It's always so hard to let your guard down on first dates. 1.3554 0.04099 166 111 51 4
2050 Does it chafe? 1.3554 0.04759 166 119 35 12
2051 I’m too old for you, Jill. 1.3554 0.04523 166 116 41 9
2052 What I’m really looking for is someone who’s emotionally available. You? 1.3553 0.04797 152 107 36 9
2053 All right, so why are we feeling vulnerable this time? 1.3552 0.04449 183 130 41 12
2054 I can see myself in you. 1.3552 0.04311 183 128 45 10
2055 That thing I said on my dating profile was just a figure of speach. 1.3552 0.04449 183 130 41 12
2056 You can wear that for the rest of your life, but I'm still not watching Game of Thrones with you! 1.3552 0.04647 183 133 35 15
2057 So you're a knight of the round table and still live with your parents? 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
2058 I said night cap. 1.3551 0.05018 138 97 33 8
2059 Well do you have any interest in verbal jousting? 1.3550 0.04547 169 119 40 10
2060 Perhaps a little jousting could break the ice. 1.3550 0.04308 169 116 46 7
2061 Well, this hasn't exactly been a night to remember for me, either. 1.3550 0.04774 169 122 34 13
2062 I hope you’re not drinking and jousting! 1.3550 0.04547 169 119 40 10
2063 Wow, this is a first—you look the same in person as you did on Tinder. 1.3550 0.04699 169 121 36 12
2064 Date knights just aren't what they used to be. 1.3550 0.04774 169 122 34 13
2065 My Knight in dining armor! 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
2066 When was the last time you got a shine? 1.3548 0.04553 155 107 41 7
2067 And even dressed like that Trump still grabbed you by the p_ _ _y? 1.3548 0.04464 186 133 40 13
2068 After years of online dating, Norma figured anything was better than another knight home alone. 1.3548 0.04992 155 112 31 12
2069 It's just..." "I know." "I mean...on the phone..." "Yes, I know." "I mean, when you said Knight School I assumed... 1.3548 0.04779 186 138 30 18
2070 Can you hear me now? 1.3548 0.04821 155 110 35 10
2071 Would you like me to ask the waiter for a bendy straw? 1.3547 0.04568 172 122 39 11
2072 Your profile said, "Damsel in distress seeks her knight in shining armor...? 1.3547 0.04786 172 125 33 14
2073 I'm pretty sure that in your dating profile, you spelled 'night-owl' without the 'k'. 1.3547 0.04856 172 126 31 15
2074 I thought you said it was date knight! 1.3547 0.04493 172 121 41 10
2075 Oh? So look who's calling me defensive! 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
2076 So, this is your idea of a knight cap. 1.3544 0.05085 158 116 28 14
2077 I can't help but feeling you have your guard up since your divorce. 1.3544 0.04924 158 114 32 12
2078 You asked for a date knight. 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
2079 No. I'm not in distress and, no, you can't join me. 1.3544 0.04672 158 111 38 9
2080 I know I asked for a "date knight", but ... 1.3544 0.04758 158 112 36 10
2081 Let's just leave it at 'knight and day', you aren't the one. 1.3543 0.04727 175 127 34 14
2082 I was hoping you'd order the Sir Loin. 1.3543 0.04586 175 125 38 12
2083 I'm into safe sex. 1.3543 0.04864 175 129 30 16
2084 I said I wanted a night with amour ... 1.3540 0.04938 161 117 31 13
2085 Well...this will be the last time I use checkmate.com... 1.3540 0.04613 161 113 39 9
2086 You must be from the rust belt, right? 1.3540 0.04613 161 113 39 9
2087 Ar you always this defensive? 1.3540 0.04697 161 114 37 10
2088 I thought you said you wanted to meet someone with mettle. 1.3540 0.04938 161 117 31 13
2089 So you don't recommend the sword fish ? 1.3539 0.04242 178 123 47 8
2090 Sorry, sorry. Your profile did say, 'A Knight in Shining Armour,' I - well - I just didn't take it that literally that's all. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
2091 So what brings you to the middle-age mixer? 1.3537 0.04808 147 103 36 8
2092 You’re so guarded. I just really don’t know how to get through to you. 1.3537 0.04796 164 118 34 12
2093 I take safe sex very seriously! 1.3537 0.04637 164 116 38 10
2094 I like jousting, shining my armor and killing small animals with my sword. And you? 1.3537 0.04556 164 115 40 9
2095 I'm assuming the waitress will come back with a straw... 1.3537 0.04473 164 114 42 8
2096 It's bullet-proof, arrow-proof, cannon ball-proof, water-proof, snake proof, AND I can use either men's or women's bathroom. 1.3536 0.04410 181 128 42 11
2097 I can tell what you're thinking--my armor was shinier in the profile picture. 1.3533 0.04743 150 105 37 8
2098 I think the “shining armor” thing is a metaphor 1.3533 0.04501 167 117 41 9
2099 I find the wine has a metallic finish. 1.3533 0.04658 167 119 37 11
2100 I think you're afraid of letting your guard down 1.3533 0.04152 184 127 49 8
2101 It was amour at first sight. 1.3532 0.04288 201 144 43 14
2102 I told you, chivalry isn't dead. 1.3526 0.04201 190 133 47 10
2103 I warned you that I have a pretty exciting knight life. 1.3526 0.04471 173 122 41 10
2104 Doesn't matter, I'm going to hurt you with my words 1.3526 0.04763 173 126 33 14
2105 I'm getting metallic notes. 1.3526 0.04546 173 123 39 11
2106 Fiscal liberal, social conservative 1.3526 0.04709 156 110 37 9
2107 Welcome to the Supreme Court secretarial staff. You'll need to get your grope-free armor before you start on Monday. 1.3526 0.05129 156 115 27 14
2108 Too bad they phased out straws. 1.3526 0.04965 156 113 31 12
2109 Thanks for agreeing to meet me right after work. 1.3526 0.04796 156 111 35 10
2110 I have to be honest, when it comes to dating I tend to put my guard up. 1.3526 0.04796 156 111 35 10
2111 Anything happen at work today ? You seem rather guarded. 1.3523 0.04345 176 123 44 9
2112 My divorce was brutal. 1.3523 0.04420 176 124 42 10
2113 Every anniversary I feel deeper regret that we got married on Halloween. 1.3521 0.05582 142 107 20 15
2114 It's a scary time to be a man today. 1.3520 0.04421 196 142 39 15
2115 Now I understand why your profile says you are a knight person. 1.3520 0.04648 179 130 35 14
2116 Just my luck, I've got mail. 1.3519 0.04990 162 119 29 14
2117 You're the one who wanted the round table! 1.3519 0.04913 162 118 31 13
2118 I’ll see if they can get you a straw. 1.3519 0.04834 162 117 33 12
2119 What a knight. 1.3518 0.04196 199 141 46 12
2120 I just got off work and didn't have time to change. 1.3518 0.04315 199 143 42 14
2121 I don't care, I'm asking for a straw. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
2122 I really miss straws. 1.3516 0.04659 182 133 34 15
2123 Do you notice a strong metallic aftertaste? 1.3515 0.04694 165 118 36 11
2124 If you see the waiter, can you ask him to bring me a straw? 1.3515 0.04772 165 119 34 12
2125 Early into the small talk Julie sensed this was going to be an awkward kinght 1.3514 0.05151 148 108 28 12
2126 It's only a pimple. 1.3514 0.04475 185 133 39 13
2127 I use protection 1.3514 0.04475 185 133 39 13
2128 You look different from your profile picture. 1.3514 0.04342 185 131 43 11
2129 I thought your online, 'Knight in Shining Armor' shtick was a come on. 1.3512 0.04712 168 121 35 12
2130 Round Table for two. 1.3512 0.04787 168 122 33 13
2131 Is it awkward in here or is it me? 1.3512 0.04787 168 122 33 13
2132 A straw? Really, Harold? 1.3512 0.04712 168 121 35 12
2133 I'll tell the waiter 'check, mate.' 1.3512 0.05005 168 125 27 16
2134 Why are you being so guarded? 1.3511 0.04294 188 133 44 11
2135 Apologies, m’lady, I’m a little rusty. 1.3510 0.04990 151 109 31 11
2136 Now, tell me, are you a dark and stormy knight? 1.3509 0.04940 171 127 28 16
2137 You know I meant "knight in shining armor" figuratively, right? 1.3509 0.05009 171 128 26 17
2138 I thought you were looking for a Renaissance man. 1.3509 0.04503 171 121 40 10
2139 You have a beautiful smile. 1.3509 0.04799 171 125 32 14
2140 I’ve always preferred the metaphor. 1.3509 0.04727 171 124 34 13
2141 No, my mighty stallion wasn't a metaphor. 1.3506 0.05091 154 113 28 13
2142 You look shinier in person than on Tinder. 1.3506 0.05007 154 112 30 12
2143 I'm glad we don't have to use chopsticks. 1.3506 0.04563 154 107 40 7
2144 What, not shining enough for you? 1.3506 0.04563 154 107 40 7
2145 Why so defensive Bill? 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
2146 There will be no jousting tonight. 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
2147 the dog's dead; the scarecrow had a stroke, the lion's still a wimp, and you've hidden my oil can again. I think it's time we called it quits. 1.3506 0.04524 174 124 39 11
2148 I think you misunderstood when I said I wanted a night out. 1.3505 0.04451 194 141 38 15
2149 You know knight in shining armor is just a metaphor, right? 1.3503 0.04770 157 112 35 10
2150 I always thought of Middle Age as a state of mind... 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
2151 Finally, a quiet knight out. 1.3500 0.04626 180 131 35 14
2152 It's a dangerous time to be a man. 1.3500 0.04538 160 112 40 8
2153 Why do you say I always keep my guard up? 1.3500 0.04451 160 111 42 7
2154 You could always ask the waitress for a straw 1.3500 0.04420 180 128 41 11
2155 Chivalry may be dead, but I still find the attire surprisingly comfortable. 1.3500 0.04708 160 114 36 10
2156 Does my handsome knight in shining armor need a straw? 1.3500 0.04538 160 112 40 8
2157 Did you lie about your age on Match.com? 1.3500 0.04538 160 112 40 8
2158 Same way as when nature calls. Why do you ask? 1.3500 0.04558 180 130 37 13
2159 I always bring protection on dates... just in case. 1.3500 0.04708 160 114 36 10
2160 When my friend said you worked at a museum, I thought maybe you were a tour guide. 1.3497 0.04159 183 127 48 8
2161 I find your attitude quite cavalier. 1.3497 0.04086 183 126 50 7
2162 It was much shinier in your Profile Photo. 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
2163 Maybe the bartender has a straw.” 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
2164 Day off at the museum? 1.3497 0.04567 163 115 39 9
2165 I was hoping for a little more "Shining" and a little less "Armor." 1.3497 0.04398 163 113 43 7
2166 Personally, I believe your story, but I can only rescue damsels who have a corroborating witness. 1.3495 0.04646 186 137 33 16
2167 Maybe it was a mistake to take our Role-playing public. 1.3495 0.04519 186 135 37 14
2168 A straw would be nice. 1.3494 0.04429 166 116 42 8
2169 I guess this wasn’t the night either of us had in mind. 1.3494 0.04670 166 119 36 11
2170 I am generally cautious on my first dates. 1.3494 0.04429 166 116 42 8
2171 I have to confess, I wasn't completely honest in my profile pic. 1.3494 0.04511 166 117 40 9
2172 Don't be so defensive. 1.3494 0.04591 166 118 38 10
2173 Just so you know, I don't want to have kids. 1.3493 0.04917 146 104 33 9
2174 Well this won't be a knight to remember. 1.3492 0.04469 189 137 38 14
2175 I'm vulnerable. 1.3491 0.04836 169 124 31 14
2176 But I don't care about the difference in our ages. 1.3491 0.04688 169 122 35 12
2177 Back to your castle for a knight-cap? I don't think so. 1.3491 0.04457 169 119 41 9
2178 Why are you so defensive? 1.3491 0.04535 169 120 39 10
2179 It was hard to find a women's helmet that allowed my pony tail through 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
2180 Run out of clean clothes? 1.3490 0.05210 149 110 26 13
2181 First Knight out? 1.3490 0.04481 192 140 37 15
2182 Middle Age 1.3490 0.04294 192 137 43 12
2183 I thought it was misspelling when it read, ".....for a knight to remember." 1.3488 0.04557 172 123 38 11
2184 Be careful of what you wish for. 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
2185 You don't happen to have a straw, do you? 1.3488 0.04557 172 123 38 11
2186 I thought chivalry was dead. 1.3486 0.04575 175 126 37 12
2187 So they're telling me chivalry is dead. 1.3486 0.04575 175 126 37 12
2188 It's not your opinion on the divine rights of kings that's the dealbreaker. It's your take on the usefulness of heavy cavalry in the age of the machine gun that is really hurtful. 1.3486 0.04278 175 122 45 8
2189 I think I'm gonna need a straw. 1.3486 0.04646 175 127 35 13
2190 Lance, I know it's a round table, but really... 1.3486 0.04646 175 127 35 13
2191 So...when ya from? 1.3486 0.04646 175 127 35 13
2192 Another awkward first date at the Holy Bar & Grail 1.3486 0.04503 175 125 39 11
2193 My ex wasn't of the highest calibur. 1.3486 0.04716 175 128 33 14
2194 No offence but my date match description said I enjoyed a good NIGHT with a glass of wine. 1.3484 0.04980 155 113 30 12
2195 So, do you ever sit at square table? 1.3484 0.04631 155 109 38 8
2196 I thought you said this was dress casual. 1.3484 0.05145 155 115 26 14
2197 This is nice. I haven't had a knight out in quite a while! 1.3483 0.04591 178 129 36 13
2198 Well, my profile did say ‘Renaissance Man’. 1.3483 0.04379 178 126 42 10
2199 Is this your first date with another woman? 1.3481 0.05185 135 97 29 9
2200 Do you think he forgot my straw? 1.3481 0.04994 158 116 29 13
2201 I prefer it over the house arrest. 1.3481 0.04659 158 112 37 9
2202 Sorry, I'm a little rusty at this 1.3481 0.04745 158 113 35 10
2203 It's a round table. 1.3481 0.04659 158 112 37 9
2204 I'm not getting you a straw 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
2205 And here I thought 'respond to my emaille address' was just a typo. 1.3478 0.04847 161 117 32 12
2206 My profile's ideal man? I was using an analogy. 1.3478 0.04684 161 115 36 10
2207 Your Silver Singles profile mentioned nothing about liking heavy metal. 1.3478 0.04351 184 131 42 11
2208 I asked the Genie for a knight in shining armor who turns into a stallion in the bedroom. Shall we order some sugar cubes ? 1.3478 0.05082 161 120 26 15
2209 I was hoping to catch you off guard. 1.3478 0.05310 138 101 26 11
2210 If it's alright with you, let's start the role play after dinner. 1.3476 0.04290 164 113 45 6
2211 I just have always been more of a knight person. 1.3476 0.04784 164 119 33 12
2212 I am keen to get out there and really open up to someone. 1.3476 0.04784 164 119 33 12
2213 I guess my ordering a rusty nail wasn't funny 1.3476 0.05013 164 122 27 15
2214 You did reserve the round table, right? 1.3476 0.04862 164 120 31 13
2215 And I was so hoping to break the cycle of dating guarded men 1.3476 0.04461 164 115 41 8
2216 Would you say you're more of a Lance-a-lot or a Lance-a-little? 1.3476 0.05087 164 123 25 16
2217 Most of my friends thought that just a condom would be fine but I thought I might need to take it to the next level. 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
2218 I'm not calling you sir. 1.3474 0.04124 190 133 48 9
2219 This is taking 'wear protection on the first date' a little too far! 1.3473 0.04799 167 122 32 13
2220 It's just not... shining. 1.3473 0.04724 167 121 34 12
2221 I'm just a little surprised because you weren't wearing a helmet in your profile picture. 1.3473 0.04568 167 119 38 10
2222 Didst thy ad not sayeth 'Woman Seeking Renaissance Man'? 1.3473 0.04799 167 122 32 13
2223 I'm just out here, looking for my damsel in distress. 1.3473 0.04241 167 115 46 6
2224 If you don't want a kiss, just say so! 1.3472 0.05056 144 104 30 10
2225 I expected something different from "a night on the town." 1.3471 0.05024 170 128 25 17
2226 You won't need all that protection. I have a chastity belt. 1.3471 0.04954 170 127 27 16
2227 After my divorce, friends said I should get right back up on that horse. What's your story? 1.3471 0.04356 170 119 43 8
2228 I'm waiting for the right woman to let my guard down. 1.3471 0.04194 170 117 47 6
2229 Thank you, but I'm no longer in distress. 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
2230 Dammit Bill, just because it's a round table doesn't mean you to have dress up. 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
2231 It's my defense mechanism. 1.3471 0.04436 170 120 41 9
2232 You really should learn to let your guard down 1.3471 0.04356 170 119 43 8
2233 Is it me, or does this wine have a metallic aftertaste? 1.3469 0.04168 196 139 46 11
2234 My chastity belt is in the shop. 1.3469 0.04595 147 102 39 6
2235 Chivalry is still dead. 1.3468 0.04460 173 123 40 10
2236 So, this is the big deal round table you've been bragging about! 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
2237 I'm sorry, but I was speaking metaphorically in my ad. 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
2238 Brett, you've been confirmed. I think you can relax now. 1.3468 0.04752 173 127 32 14
2239 My profile was supposed to read that I enjoyed "nights" along with a glass of wine. 1.3467 0.04365 199 145 39 15
2240 Guess who’s going commando? 1.3466 0.04762 176 130 31 15
2241 Maybe next time we could go somewhere less formal. 1.3466 0.04408 176 125 41 10
2242 Gladys was determined to have a good knight. 1.3466 0.04694 176 129 33 14
2243 My friends were right, they told me this wasn’t going to be my knight. 1.3466 0.04963 176 133 25 18
2244 Nasty divorce? Something tells me you're not ready to start dating again. 1.3466 0.04481 176 126 39 11
2245 So this is your idea of a night to remember? 1.3464 0.04666 153 108 37 8
2246 I have a problem with trust. 1.3464 0.04758 153 109 35 9
2247 I don't know about the damsel part, but you do seem in distress." 1.3464 0.04500 179 129 38 12
2248 But your ad said, "Wanted, knight in shining armor..." 1.3464 0.04705 179 132 32 15
2249 You said there'd be dragons. 1.3464 0.04358 179 127 42 10
2250 So, you say your hobbies are archery and bird watching? Surely you joust! 1.3464 0.04705 179 132 32 15
2251 This is not what I meant by wining and dining with a night on the town. 1.3462 0.05197 156 117 24 15
2252 Mainly, I wear it to save on dry cleaning. 1.3462 0.04606 156 110 38 8
2253 You looked younger online. 1.3462 0.04953 156 114 30 12
2254 It was worth the wait, to get this round table. 1.3462 0.04516 182 132 37 13
2255 Ohh, that type of Renaissance man. 1.3459 0.04465 185 134 38 13
2256 Well, at least you don’t pretend to be open and available. 1.3459 0.04331 185 132 42 11
2257 ... maybe you should open up more? 1.3459 0.04193 185 130 46 9
2258 It's time that we open up to one another. 1.3459 0.04193 185 130 46 9
2259 It's not your shielding, Herm, it' your emptiness. 1.3459 0.04331 185 132 42 11
2260 Did you specifically ask for a round table" 1.3459 0.04886 159 116 31 12
2261 You seem a little too guarded, even for a first date. 1.3459 0.04720 159 114 35 10
2262 This was your idea. Don’t you dare ask for a straw. 1.3457 0.04350 188 135 41 12
2263 I'm always a little shy on first​ dates too. 1.3457 0.04577 162 115 38 9
2264 No, I'm not going to ask them for a straw. 1.3457 0.04493 162 114 40 8
2265 In a couple of weeks, Senator Cruz, this #MeToo thing will all blow over. 1.3455 0.04837 165 121 31 13
2266 But your online profile said you liked hard bodies! 1.3455 0.04913 165 122 29 14
2267 This explains the part in your profile about an interest in Heavy Metal. 1.3455 0.04521 165 117 39 9
2268 I take it this is your way of telling me you're afraid of commitment. 1.3455 0.04760 165 120 33 12
2269 Well, hash tag Sir Lancelot, you certainly fooled me. 1.3455 0.04760 165 120 33 12
2270 The last time I let down my walls? They stormed the castle. 1.3455 0.04521 165 117 39 9
2271 It seems like I haven't dated since the dark ages... I have to admit I'm a bit rusty. 1.3455 0.04521 165 117 39 9
2272 Darling, now we can talk about your mother! 1.3455 0.04913 165 122 29 14
2273 No problem, I never kiss on the first date anyway. 1.3454 0.04130 194 137 47 10
2274 Sorry, it’s not going to work. You’re tarnished. 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
2275 You'll have to excuse the echo. 1.3452 0.04467 168 119 40 9
2276 I find it hard to let my guard down on a first date 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
2277 I know I SAID I was searching for my knight in shining armor! 1.3452 0.04700 168 122 34 12
2278 And I thought my ex had emotional armor. 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
2279 Marvin, he has no idea what “fercula dant meliora“ means. Just ask to see the menu. 1.3451 0.05002 142 102 31 9
2280 Well, the part of your profile about the shining armor was right. 1.3450 0.04567 171 123 37 11
2281 I was hoping this knight would be special. 1.3450 0.04414 171 121 41 9
2282 You don't have to be so defensive ! 1.3450 0.04491 171 122 39 10
2283 Check, please. 1.3448 0.04729 174 128 32 14
2284 Your overt display of chivalry has been duly noted. 1.3448 0.04363 174 123 42 9
2285 joust a gigolo! 1.3448 0.04832 145 103 34 8
2286 You look a lot older than on your Tinder profile. 1.3448 0.04732 145 102 36 7
2287 I did the chain mail thing, but that was before I really knew myself. 1.3448 0.04439 174 124 40 10
2288 I've always thought that "clothes make the man." 1.3448 0.04513 174 125 38 11
2289 I'm a bit of a germophobe. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
2290 Actually I thought you said amour not armor... 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
2291 No problem, I'll just drink it for you. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
2292 Am I not your knight in dining armor? 1.3446 0.04807 177 132 29 16
2293 So... what do you do for work? 1.3446 0.04163 177 123 47 7
2294 It’s important for me to feel safe on a first date. 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
2295 I could ask the waiter for a straw for you! 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
2296 I must warn you. I'm feeling a little chivalrous tonight. 1.3444 0.04193 180 126 46 8
2297 "In your profile picture, your armor was shining. 1.3444 0.04748 180 134 30 16
2298 This is not what I meant by a night to remember. 1.3444 0.04887 151 109 32 10
2299 I though you said you worked the night shift. 1.3444 0.04976 151 110 30 11
2300 This is not quite what I meant when I said I needed a night out. 1.3444 0.04976 151 110 30 11
2301 No, I said I wanted a night out. 1.3443 0.04496 183 133 37 13
2302 I dunno Arthur, I guess I just need some me time. 1.3443 0.04291 183 130 43 10
2303 So,I guess in your dating profile, "S.W.M" meant " surrounded with metal"? 1.3443 0.04220 183 129 45 9
2304 Yes, I know it's not shining, but I can change. 1.3442 0.04641 154 109 37 8
2305 When I said men were stuck in the Middle Ages when it came to women’s rights, I didn’t mean literally. 1.3442 0.04994 154 113 29 12
2306 Your cross-dressing I've patiently lived with George... but this? 1.3439 0.04926 157 115 30 12
2307 It's not my fault, you're the one who told me to bring protection. 1.3439 0.04757 157 113 34 10
2308 You know, you're not the first woman to tell me I have intimacy issues. 1.3439 0.04307 157 108 44 5
2309 You're taking the 'wear protection' advice very seriously. 1.3439 0.04671 157 112 36 9
2310 As long as your house really is a castle, I'm good. 1.3438 0.04779 160 116 33 11
2311 Ok, but no lube jobs til the 3rd date. 1.3438 0.04611 160 114 37 9
2312 Well, I did suggest a Knight-cap 1.3438 0.04696 160 115 35 10
2313 Drink up. You're due back at the museum. 1.3438 0.04220 192 137 44 11
2314 The ad said "Speed Dating Saturday Knight" ...I thought it was a typo 1.3436 0.05028 163 122 26 15
2315 Looks like you've been watching a lot of Fox News lately... 1.3436 0.04875 163 120 30 13
2316 They always keep the round table open just for me. 1.3436 0.04554 163 116 38 9
2317 I'm not taking any chances this flu season. 1.3436 0.04636 163 117 36 10
2318 Frankly, I think the 1795 Lafite Rothschild has a better finish. 1.3436 0.04384 163 114 42 7
2319 Well,you did ask for a knight out" 1.3436 0.04797 163 119 32 12
2320 Would you stop being so defensive, Lionel! 1.3436 0.04717 163 118 34 11
2321 I thought Sharon said "a date night" not "date a knight." 1.3436 0.04636 163 117 36 10
2322 We’re breaking up? Your text said you wanted to be joust friends. You need to get a handle on your autocorrect, Linda. 1.3436 0.04875 163 120 30 13
2323 I promised you a knight out. 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
2324 My profile specifically said I’m not into one Knight stands... 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
2325 Your profile said you were looking for someone with a tough exterior. 1.3434 0.04812 166 122 31 13
2326 I guess I misunderstood what you meant by date night 1.3434 0.04498 166 118 39 9
2327 When I asked for a night out on the town, I had something else in mind. 1.3434 0.04962 166 124 27 15
2328 C’mon. I was just jousting. 1.3434 0.04333 166 116 43 7
2329 No, chivalry isn't dead, just hungry 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
2330 I know I wrote "treat me like a Queen" on my Tinder profile but this is ridiculous. 1.3432 0.04677 169 123 34 12
2331 Dianne, you are seriously underdressed. 1.3432 0.04445 169 120 40 9
2332 I just gave up on make-up. 1.3431 0.04169 204 147 44 13
2333 If the Tinman could get a heart, so can you. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
2334 A round table at the Olive Garden. My my. And they said chivalry was dead. 1.3429 0.04343 175 124 42 9
2335 I think this is a nonstarter. 1.3427 0.04144 178 124 47 7
2336 I just find it difficult to really reach you 1.3427 0.04294 178 126 43 9
2337 When I said I'd like a night out on the town... 1.3427 0.04580 178 130 35 13
2338 I’m in transition. 1.3425 0.04660 181 134 32 15
2339 Let's skip the romance and find out what's under that hard exterior shell. 1.3425 0.04319 181 129 42 10
2340 I thought you said your therapist was getting you to shed your armor. 1.3425 0.04247 181 128 44 9
2341 I'd like to think that I project a strong exterior. 1.3424 0.04201 184 130 45 9
2342 I remember the middle ages differently. 1.3424 0.04271 184 131 43 10
2343 Defensive? How so? 1.3423 0.04740 149 106 35 8
2344 So that makes you the lady of the knight. 1.3422 0.04087 187 131 48 8
2345 You looked a lot younger in your picture 1.3422 0.04425 187 136 38 13
2346 You told me to wear my suit. 1.3422 0.04616 187 139 32 16
2347 Knight out at the round table. 1.3422 0.04359 187 135 40 12
2348 I'm not the old Gwen; give it up, Arty. 1.3421 0.04860 152 110 32 10
2349 Perhaps you misread my online profile, I promised a great knight. 1.3421 0.04312 190 137 41 12
2350 Karen thought her dinner date was being overly defensive. 1.3421 0.04769 152 109 34 9
2351 Is this your first time steed dating? 1.3417 0.04297 199 145 40 14
2352 So, you work in government? 1.3416 0.04502 161 114 39 8
2353 The MeToo movement has me feeling a little guarded. 1.3416 0.04587 161 115 37 9
2354 A brunch in shining armor is just stupid. 1.3416 0.04587 161 115 37 9
2355 Unless there's a woman under there, you're outta luck! 1.3416 0.04587 161 115 37 9
2356 Is this going to be a knightly thing? 1.3416 0.04502 161 114 39 8
2357 You know, they've stopped serving straws. 1.3416 0.04914 161 119 29 13
2358 Sit still. I'll go get you a straw 1.3416 0.03953 202 142 51 9
2359 Are you going to take off your helmet or should I ask the waiter for a straw? 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
2360 I don't know the meaning of the word 'Ni!' 1.3415 0.04926 164 122 28 14
2361 Ironically, I am more of a morning person. 1.3415 0.04613 164 118 36 10
2362 Not what I meant by a night out. 1.3415 0.04276 164 114 44 6
2363 What makes you say that I'm looking for a fight? 1.3415 0.04613 164 118 36 10
2364 No, not shining. But it is armour. 1.3415 0.04363 164 115 42 7
2365 Okay, so now are you ready to talk about the kids? 1.3413 0.03878 208 146 53 9
2366 I thought you asked for a good knight out. 1.3413 0.04556 167 120 37 10
2367 You don’t look anything like your photo. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
2368 It's the only suit I own. 1.3413 0.04395 167 118 41 8
2369 I'll take off my glasses if you take off your head. 1.3413 0.04635 167 121 35 11
2370 You meant literally 1.3413 0.04556 167 120 37 10
2371 This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted a night out. 1.3412 0.04423 170 121 40 9
2372 I didn't think it was going to be this kind of night. 1.3412 0.04501 170 122 38 10
2373 No problem. I brought the WD-40. 1.3410 0.04669 173 127 33 13
2374 At least you're not another Neanderthal... 1.3410 0.04811 173 129 29 15
2375 I am sorry to learn you've been hurt before. 1.3410 0.04741 173 128 31 14
2376 You're taking this #Me Too thing to seriously, Bernie. 1.3410 0.04597 173 126 35 12
2377 The waiter said he'd bring a straw. 1.3410 0.04295 173 122 43 8
2378 I really needed a knight out on the town. 1.3410 0.04135 173 120 47 6
2379 I love the chivalry, but I wish you could be more vulnerable. 1.3409 0.04613 176 129 34 13
2380 So, how do you know Linda? 1.3409 0.04542 176 128 36 12
2381 If you're so worried about stains, don't order red wine. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
2382 Another date knight who won’t let his guard down. 1.3407 0.04369 182 131 40 11
2383 Would I undercut my whole chivalry thing if I asked to cleave the bill in two? 1.3407 0.04299 182 130 42 10
2384 I see you also like to wear suits. 1.3406 0.04656 138 96 37 5
2385 Want me to ask the waiter for a straw? 1.3405 0.04252 185 132 43 10
2386 Perhaps you misunderstood my request for' a night out on the town' . 1.3405 0.04711 185 139 29 17
2387 How is this knight different from all other nights? 1.3405 0.04388 185 134 39 12
2388 I didn’t have time to change after work. 1.3403 0.04163 191 136 45 10
2389 Chivalry is dead. Let’s split the check. 1.3403 0.04481 191 141 35 15
2390 I think it's overkill... I'm sure Maxine Waters doesn't even know you dine here Senator! 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
2391 You may need to get a straw. 1.3401 0.04874 147 106 32 9
2392 It's a shame you can't get a straw anymore. 1.3400 0.04900 150 109 31 10
2393 You do realize it echoes when you cut the cheese? 1.3400 0.05167 150 112 25 13
2394 I requested a round table. 1.3397 0.04592 156 111 37 8
2395 Methinks, too. 1.3397 0.04501 156 110 39 7
2396 Can we skip the pleasantries and get on to the jousting? 1.3397 0.04769 156 113 33 10
2397 “So what other chivalric acts do you perform when you’re not asking for separate checks?” 1.3396 0.04707 159 115 34 10
2398 This being the third date, and getting positive signals from Alice, Wally thought it best to wear protection. 1.3396 0.04707 159 115 34 10
2399 Emotionally available I see. 1.3396 0.04707 159 115 34 10
2400 Perhaps you missed the metaphor in my online profile. 1.3396 0.04622 159 114 36 9
2401 I think a flu shot would be more practical. 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
2402 You're very chivalrous, but I'm still not going back to your castle. 1.3395 0.04564 162 116 37 9
2403 WHO hurt you so bad? 1.3395 0.04729 162 118 33 11
2404 Why so stiff? 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
2405 Your dating profile noted that you are looking for a man of steel 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
2406 I have to be honest. You look nothing like your profile picture. 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
2407 The wine has metallic notes. 1.3394 0.04589 165 119 36 10
2408 These first date rituals are simply medieval. 1.3394 0.04425 165 117 40 8
2409 Well, yes, I will admit that this blind date has given me a knight I will always remember. 1.3394 0.04589 165 119 36 10
2410 Well, your Tinder profile didn't mention glasses. So... 1.3393 0.04611 168 122 35 11
2411 I'm not happy either that they stopped serving straws. 1.3393 0.04838 168 125 29 14
2412 I don't care if you are a knight in shining armor. If you voted for Trump, I'm out of here. 1.3393 0.04688 168 123 33 12
2413 My voice message was that I wanted a "good night" drink. 1.3393 0.04373 168 119 41 8
2414 Okay, so now I realize what you meant by a "knight on the town." 1.3393 0.04688 168 123 33 12
2415 Geez, it's our third date. I think you can let your guard down now. 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
2416 I’m not looking for just one knight. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
2417 Let's just try to enjoy the knight 1.3392 0.04555 171 124 36 11
2418 Oh, I thought your profile said you were looking for armor. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
2419 Straw? 1.3392 0.04848 171 128 28 15
2420 I’m not looking for a one night stand. 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
2421 Sometimes I think I was better off with the dragon. 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
2422 You said your favorite movie was "You've Got Mail." 1.3392 0.04323 171 121 42 8
2423 We need to talk about your defensiveness. 1.3391 0.04351 174 124 41 9
2424 I would say that it has hints of dungeon mold, a bouquet of stagnant mote, and a rusty chain mail finish. Quite lovely, really. 1.3391 0.04647 174 128 33 13
2425 I wish you would be a little more open about things 1.3391 0.04351 174 124 41 9
2426 She did promise me it would be a "knight to remember" 1.3390 0.04150 177 124 46 7
2427 Ugh,sure. It'll be a knight to remember. 1.3390 0.04302 177 126 42 9
2428 Sorry Guen, but according to our pre-nup, my position is iron-clad: I get to keep the castle. 1.3390 0.04660 177 131 32 14
2429 I guess I thought your armor would be... shinier 1.3390 0.04521 177 129 36 12
2430 Oil can. 1.3389 0.04468 180 131 37 12
2431 #me too. You can't be too careful nowadays. 1.3389 0.04468 180 131 37 12
2432 That's quite a riveting story. 1.3389 0.04468 180 131 37 12
2433 Wine is fine, but I like beer. I REALLY like beer. Do you like beer? 1.3388 0.04617 183 136 32 15
2434 So Lancelot, where you from? 1.3388 0.04349 183 132 40 11
2435 As if your emotional armour isn’t bad enough. 1.3386 0.04188 189 135 44 10
2436 Let's drink until knightfall. 1.3384 0.03997 198 140 49 9
2437 Buddy, this is not what I had in mind for a one night stand. 1.3380 0.05372 142 107 22 13
2438 Did you not ask for a knight on the town? 1.3379 0.04817 145 104 33 8
2439 Yes, it may seem excessive. But I, not you, am the woman who has to interview the new Supreme Court Justice. 1.3379 0.05380 145 110 21 14
2440 Are you sure you don't want a straw? 1.3379 0.05290 145 109 23 13
2441 It’s just...well frankly you looked a little shinier in your online profile. 1.3378 0.04941 148 108 30 10
2442 You were shining more in the photo. 1.3378 0.04653 148 105 36 7
2443 Nah mom, this is pretty standard law clerk dress code in DC these days 1.3378 0.04847 148 107 32 9
2444 Would it be awkward if I used a straw? 1.3377 0.04781 151 109 33 9
2445 This is the best Knight out I've had in a long time. 1.3377 0.04781 151 109 33 9
2446 I told my husband I had a night meeting but he’s suspicious... 1.3377 0.04627 154 110 36 8
2447 I just wish you would make yourself a little more vulnerable with me." 1.3377 0.04807 154 112 32 10
2448 If you don't stop calling me Guinevere, this date is over. 1.3376 0.04657 157 113 35 9
2449 I'm tired of the verbal jousting. 1.3376 0.04568 157 112 37 8
2450 A drinking problem? Why do you ask? 1.3376 0.04657 157 113 35 9
2451 I want to see more of you, Claudia. But first I have to figure out how to open this visor. 1.3376 0.04195 157 108 45 4
2452 I can see where the emojis confused things... 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
2453 Of course the environment is important but I think they would understand if you asked for a straw. 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
2454 Classical and metal. What’s your favorite music? 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
2455 I'm sorry, this is not exactly what I had in mind when I requested a round table. 1.3374 0.04456 163 116 39 8
2456 You got the 'knight in shining armor' part right, but how is 'walking barefoot on the beach' going to work 1.3374 0.04784 163 120 31 12
2457 Ok, now I am ready to tell you how I honestly feel about our relationship. 1.3373 0.04486 166 119 38 9
2458 Sorry to hear you are suffering from metal fatigue 1.3373 0.04320 166 117 42 7
2459 Fine, I’ll stay for one drink... but it’s just not cool to post an old profile pic. It’s obvious you’re Middle Aged. 1.3373 0.04645 166 121 34 11
2460 I think you'll find that I'm way more chivalrous than most guys. 1.3373 0.04403 166 118 40 8
2461 Sorry I was late, my horse ran out of grass on the way here. 1.3373 0.04723 166 122 32 12
2462 I loved your profile's emphasis on chivalry and old fashioned values. 1.3373 0.04566 166 120 36 10
2463 I've got to find a more up-to-date dating service. 1.3373 0.04432 169 121 39 9
2464 I want to tell you who I'm voting for. 1.3372 0.04894 172 130 26 16
2465 Shall we try a 13th century Cabernet? 1.3372 0.04533 172 125 36 11
2466 My defenses are up. 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
2467 I'm going to need you to let your guard down. 1.3372 0.04381 172 123 40 9
2468 I thought you meant knight cap! 1.3372 0.04681 172 127 32 13
2469 Stain resistant, never needs dry cleaning, small caliber bullet proof - what's not to like? 1.3372 0.04381 172 123 40 9
2470 Since the nomination, they are flying off the rack. 1.3372 0.04141 172 120 46 6
2471 I did say no sex without protection, but isn't this a little extreme? 1.3371 0.04832 175 132 27 16
2472 I don’t like to reveal my gender until the secon date. 1.3371 0.04480 175 127 37 11
2473 That I hide my feelings? Why do you say that? 1.3371 0.04428 178 129 38 11
2474 Cynthia considers options to avoid a goodnight kiss. 1.3371 0.04428 178 129 38 11
2475 I hate that they don’t give you straws anymore. 1.3371 0.04638 178 132 32 14
2476 It's just that I thought you would have been shinier. 1.3371 0.04569 178 131 34 13
2477 Is the ponytail too much? 1.3371 0.04499 178 130 36 12
2478 You know I don't like round tables, Diana. I retired for a reason. 1.3371 0.04569 178 131 34 13
2479 You said formal attire. 1.3371 0.04054 178 124 48 6
2480 Madame, there will be no need for your chastity belt tonight. 1.3370 0.04447 181 132 37 12
2481 If we're going to sleep together, I think I should wear protection. 1.3370 0.04378 181 131 39 11
2482 When I said I wanted a night out, this isn't what I meant... 1.3370 0.04118 184 130 46 8
2483 I thought you meant date knight! 1.3370 0.04723 184 139 28 17
2484 I'll say one thing for you, you are a knight in shining armor, the agency got that right 1.3369 0.04479 187 138 35 14
2485 Knight time is the right time, get it? 1.3368 0.04429 190 140 36 14
2486 What I said was, "Looking for a good night", but lets see where this goes. 1.3368 0.04502 193 144 33 16
2487 Well, Kyle, if I knew you’d wear it on every anniversary, I’m not sure I would’ve said ‘yes’. 1.3367 0.04211 196 142 42 12
2488 Oh, it helps me stick to my diet......... 1.3366 0.03966 205 146 49 10
2489 I'm sensing a hint of blackberries with metallic overtones. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2490 This is a first—you look the same as you did on Tinder. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
2491 You were the one who asked for a date knight. 1.3357 0.05130 140 103 27 10
2492 The wine is just all right, the food is overpriced, but, Hey, a round table! 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
2493 Sure, I'm a knight in shining armor. But nobody ever asks who I'm looking for. 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
2494 _Maybe, we are taking this Knightcap thing a little too far 1.3356 0.04820 149 108 32 9
2495 So long story short you're looking for someone who will shine the armor. 1.3356 0.04724 149 107 34 8
2496 I guess chivalry isn't dead. 1.3356 0.04820 149 108 32 9
2497 Sorry, using straws is against the law. 1.3355 0.04568 152 108 37 7
2498 You do know "Knight in Shining Armor" is just an expression? 1.3355 0.04755 152 110 33 9
2499 I'm trying not to be so defensive. 1.3355 0.04373 152 106 41 5
2500 You did ask for something full-bodied. 1.3355 0.05022 152 113 27 12
2501 I suppose you've heard every 'fun knight out' joke there is. 1.3355 0.04692 155 112 34 9
2502 Well,at least the table is round. 1.3355 0.04416 155 109 40 6
2503 It has a nice forward body, but the finish is a little metallic. 1.3355 0.05200 155 118 22 15
2504 Why do you always seem to be on the defensive? 1.3355 0.04602 155 111 36 8
2505 Opening the door for me was enough. 1.3355 0.04510 155 110 38 7
2506 I'm not looking for anything longterm so I hope you're okay with a one knight stand. 1.3355 0.04692 155 112 34 9
2507 I heard there is a high probability of golf ball size hail later tonight. 1.3355 0.04953 155 115 28 12
2508 No, not particularly thin-skinned. Why do you ask? 1.3355 0.04868 155 114 30 11
2509 Well, I said I was ready for a one night stand. 1.3355 0.05037 155 116 26 13
2510 So when's your knight off? 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
2511 Well, I wanted a night out on the town, and you ARE a knight out on the town. 1.3354 0.04455 158 112 39 7
2512 How long have you been on knights only dot com? 1.3354 0.04544 158 113 37 8
2513 I'm a little behind on my credit card payments, but no, I wouldn't say I'm in distress. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
2514 'Knight in shining armor' is a euphemism, Scott. 1.3354 0.05206 158 121 21 16
2515 I can't wait to see you try to drink that. 1.3354 0.04455 158 112 39 7
2516 On our first date, I never expected a Knight like this. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
2517 Other women would kill to sit at the round table. 1.3354 0.05057 161 122 24 15
2518 I sense you're feeling a bit defensive. 1.3354 0.04658 161 117 34 10
2519 Well, aaaaactually, it's not a ponytail. It's called a "plume". 1.3354 0.04759 164 121 31 12
2520 People tell me I'm a little closed off. 1.3354 0.04349 164 116 41 7
2521 It's like they say. Dress for the job you want. 1.3354 0.04837 164 122 29 13
2522 I'm through with "knights in shining armor." I'm moving on to "wealthy soulmates with Ferraris." 1.3354 0.04600 164 119 35 10
2523 What? I thought you wanted a roundtable discussion, Linda 1.3354 0.04837 164 122 29 13
2524 Your armor seemed shinier in your profile picture. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
2525 This doesn't even crack my top ten for weirdness. 1.3353 0.04776 167 124 30 13
2526 I think I misunderstood you when you said Knight Club. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
2527 I can see it's a round table, but ... 1.3353 0.04298 167 118 42 7
2528 I'm sorry, I just don't feel any magnetism. 1.3353 0.04641 170 125 33 12
2529 You looked shinier in your profile portrait. 1.3353 0.04411 170 122 39 9
2530 Can I get you a straw? 1.3353 0.04489 170 123 37 10
2531 Wouldst thou like a straw? 1.3353 0.04411 170 122 39 9
2532 A real knight never takes off his helmet until the third date. 1.3353 0.04360 173 124 40 9
2533 So good to see the Age of Chivalry isn't dead. 1.3353 0.04436 173 125 38 10
2534 It's okay, you're not the first women to realize I'm not *actually* what she's been waiting for all her life. 1.3353 0.04800 173 130 28 15
2535 That sounds like a tough breakup, but I think you're being too guarded now. 1.3353 0.04658 173 128 32 13
2536 Don't take this the wrong way, but you look a little rusty. 1.3353 0.04729 173 129 30 14
2537 And when is your coming out party? 1.3353 0.04436 173 125 38 10
2538 Do you think they can get me a straw for this? 1.3353 0.04436 173 125 38 10
2539 You wouldn't have a straw would you? 1.3352 0.04385 176 127 39 10
2540 Oh don’t worry, the size of your lance does not matter, it is how you wield it. 1.3352 0.04385 176 127 39 10
2541 I was given the option on the job application form to not reveal my gender, race and sexuality. I assume this option still applies for the interviews. 1.3352 0.04741 176 132 29 15
2542 This wasn’t exactly what I meant when I asked to be treated like a princess. 1.3352 0.04385 176 127 39 10
2543 You make me feel so damned middle-aged. 1.3352 0.04741 176 132 29 15
2544 Mine doesn't have that metallic aftertaste. 1.3352 0.04531 176 129 35 12
2545 You look so much better than your photo. 1.3352 0.04683 179 134 30 15
2546 I hope you feel like you're in a safer space now. 1.3352 0.03957 179 124 50 5
2547 I was hoping for a night of shining amour. 1.3352 0.04495 182 134 35 13
2548 I’m torn between the swordfish and a nice piece of cod. 1.3352 0.04495 182 134 35 13
2549 Well, Carol promised me a knight to remember. 1.3351 0.04100 185 131 46 8
2550 I would love to see you again, but I just get the feeling you are shutting me out. 1.3351 0.04241 185 133 42 10
2551 You go ahead....I'll wait for a straw 1.3351 0.04574 185 138 32 15
2552 Is it just me, or are you somewhat shy? 1.3351 0.04085 191 136 46 9
2553 Your choice of attire seems a bit defensive. But then again you men are having a rough time right now. 1.3333 0.04716 162 119 32 11
2554 So, do you have many lonely knights? 1.3333 0.04441 168 121 38 9
2555 Raise the visor or our marriage is over 1.3333 0.04692 171 127 31 13
2556 I agree that it's a very scary time in America for young men, but don't worry, I'm wearing my chastity belt. 1.3333 0.04059 219 161 43 15
2557 My name's Bill. But I'm changing it to Lance. 1.3333 0.04841 156 115 30 11
2558 Tina, people wouldn't have wondered about two women dining alone. 1.3333 0.04437 177 129 37 11
2559 Mi amor” does not mean “my armor”.. 1.3333 0.04229 171 121 43 7
2560 Not what I really dreamed about. It was just a metaphor. 1.3333 0.04907 153 113 29 11
2561 My hands are a disaster. Who does your mailles? 1.3333 0.04437 177 129 37 11
2562 Well, I promised you a knight on the town. 1.3333 0.04017 180 126 48 6
2563 I think you’re taking this knight in shining armor thing too far. 1.3333 0.04954 147 108 29 10
2564 Red wine with chicken? Surely you joust! 1.3333 0.04676 168 124 32 12
2565 No, this is hardly my idea of the perfect knight out. 1.3333 0.04693 159 116 33 10
2566 I don't know what I ever saw in you. 1.3333 0.04378 162 115 40 7
2567 I hope you approve. There was a wait list for a round table. 1.3333 0.05138 147 110 25 12
2568 Wine makes me rust. 1.3333 0.04608 159 115 35 9
2569 I thought Knight of the Round Table was just a cute line in your profile. 1.3333 0.04125 183 130 45 8
2570 No, asking for a straw would seem weird. 1.3333 0.04812 165 123 29 13
2571 Let me get this straight -- that wasn't a typo in your profile, AND you aren't a night person? 1.3333 0.04599 168 123 34 11
2572 You said you had a drinking problem on your profile, but this isn't what I was expecting. 1.3333 0.04777 159 117 31 11
2573 Well, yes, but I meant it figuratively. 1.3333 0.04103 174 122 46 6
2574 Is this your first date on joust.com? 1.3333 0.04543 171 125 35 11
2575 So, what kind of Knight am I in for? 1.3333 0.04543 171 125 35 11
2576 I wasn't told dating nights in my middle ages would be like this. 1.3333 0.04685 189 144 27 18
2577 I though that 'Sir' was just your Nickname ... 1.3333 0.04360 168 120 40 8
2578 They have Sir Loin here? Haven't seen him in ages." 1.3333 0.04509 177 130 35 12
2579 Was told you wanted a date knight. 1.3333 0.04907 171 130 25 16
2580 The pinot is nice, but I ordered the mead. 1.3333 0.04215 177 126 43 8
2581 So, your name is Lance? 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
2582 I'm not like those other princesses. 1.3333 0.05198 141 105 25 11
2583 It's not you. It's me. 1.3333 0.04606 183 137 31 15
2584 Your online dating profile said a “night “ to remember 1.3333 0.04899 168 127 26 15
2585 Shinier in what way? 1.3333 0.04103 174 122 46 6
2586 I think it's time we moved beyond heavy polishing. 1.3333 0.04339 174 125 40 9
2587 I sense that your response is rather guarded. 1.3333 0.04663 147 105 35 7
2588 I read in your bio that you like round tables. 1.3333 0.04457 180 132 36 12
2589 Hey, it’s your fantasy. You shine it. 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
2590 And here I thought that "Knight in Shining Armor" was just your username. 1.3333 0.04796 162 120 30 12
2591 Well, don't go getting all up in arms about it! 1.3333 0.04667 156 113 34 9
2592 Should we ask for straw? 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
2593 Nice romantic spot...See much of the Lion and Scarecrow these day? 1.3333 0.04706 174 130 30 14
2594 The ban on straws is a real bummer for you, isn't it? 1.3333 0.04580 177 131 33 13
2595 I'm sorry to tell you. Chivalry is dead 1.3333 0.04431 159 113 39 7
2596 You look nothing like your pictures. 1.3333 0.04290 177 127 41 9
2597 There would be fewer notes of tin and leather if you put up your visor. 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
2598 I'm guessing the whole 'knight in shining armor thing' was just a metaphor, right? 1.3316 0.04324 196 145 37 14
2599 My armor’s called a “pantsuit.” 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
2600 This isn't my first knight at a round table. 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
2601 We could go play chess at my place. 1.3316 0.04355 190 140 37 13
2602 I'm afraid my conversation skills are a little rusty. 1.3316 0.04091 190 136 45 9
2603 "Renaissance man? I'm thinking Medieval." 1.3316 0.04403 187 138 36 13
2604 I'm guessing coming back to my place is out of the question? 1.3315 0.04318 184 134 39 11
2605 When your attorney said "there would be some jousting over the house," well, I just presumed............ 1.3315 0.04295 181 131 40 10
2606 Do you think this Beaujolais Nouveau has a metallic aftertaste? 1.3315 0.04150 181 129 44 8
2607 I like your pony tail. 1.3315 0.04150 181 129 44 8
2608 All right, perhaps I shouldn't have said in my posting that I still go wild for Heavy Metal. 1.3315 0.04344 178 129 39 10
2609 Call me old fashioned, but I never raise my visor on a first date. 1.3315 0.04344 178 129 39 10
2610 You said you wanted a knight in shining armor on your dating profile, what else were you expecting Sharon? 1.3315 0.04416 178 130 37 11
2611 I asked for a quite NIGHT out. 1.3315 0.04627 178 133 31 14
2612 Just in case things go well I want you to know I'm protected. 1.3315 0.04119 178 126 45 7
2613 We have to stop meading like this. 1.3315 0.04487 178 131 35 12
2614 I said, show me a great night*... 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
2615 You don't really look like your profile picture. 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
2616 My anger management is going well, thank you. 1.3314 0.04163 175 124 44 7
2617 So how do you get through metal detectors 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
2618 Sorry I'm defensive. 1.3314 0.04595 172 127 33 12
2619 I'm NOT too defensive! 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
2620 I always get the knightly special. 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
2621 Truth be told, Roger, the lighting here makes you look medieval. 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
2622 The friend that set up this blind date said it would be a night to remember...another spell check failure 1.3314 0.04669 172 128 31 13
2623 I’m getting notes of rust with a steely finish.” 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
2624 You can drop your guard now. 1.3314 0.04257 169 120 42 7
2625 It’s called wine. They haven’t served mead here in years. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
2626 This is not what I meant by one night stand. 1.3314 0.04576 169 124 34 11
2627 I try and try and my captions never win! 1.3313 0.04787 166 124 29 13
2628 It really isn't as difficult as you may think, if you help me down onto the floor I will be able to drink most of it. 1.3313 0.04711 166 123 31 12
2629 I know it's a blind date, but you can uncover yourself now. 1.3313 0.04390 166 119 39 8
2630 So I guess your profile was honest. You are an old fashioned gentleman in a modern world. 1.3313 0.04553 166 121 35 10
2631 Why don’t you ever take me to Camelot? 1.3313 0.04553 166 121 35 10
2632 Ignore them. They only stare because they‘re envious. 1.3313 0.04632 166 122 33 11
2633 I guess you weren’t lying in your profilewhen you said you were chivalrous. 1.3313 0.04527 163 118 36 9
2634 Is that the new Over Armour brand you are wearing? 1.3313 0.04691 163 120 32 11
2635 Actually, I'm a morning person. 1.3313 0.04771 163 121 30 12
2636 I see you still won't let your guard down. 1.3313 0.04691 163 120 32 11
2637 Just ask the waiter for a straw. 1.3313 0.04442 163 117 38 8
2638 'When I said I wanted a quiet night, this isn't exactly what I had in mind" 1.3313 0.04583 160 116 35 9
2639 Some how when you said the strong, silent type, I had another impression. 1.3313 0.04409 160 114 39 7
2640 I've decided to run for President of the United States. 1.3313 0.04834 160 119 29 12
2641 Wouldn't it be easier to use hand sanitizer? 1.3313 0.04583 160 116 35 9
2642 Something tells me you used a fake profile picture 1.3312 0.04729 157 115 32 10
2643 You said you wanted a knight out. 1.3312 0.04981 157 118 26 13
2644 And you say chivalry is dead... 1.3312 0.04463 157 112 38 7
2645 My friends told me that you were an old soul. 1.3312 0.04729 157 115 32 10
2646 Have a sip. I’ll help you open up. 1.3312 0.04553 157 113 36 8
2647 I wanted a night off,not a knight out. 1.3312 0.04553 157 113 36 8
2648 You look different than your picture on Match.com 1.3312 0.04703 154 112 33 9
2649 Will we be jousting at my place or yours? 1.3312 0.04966 154 115 27 12
2650 You're my first knight. 1.3312 0.04966 154 115 27 12
2651 No worries. I like older men. 1.3311 0.04766 151 110 32 9
2652 It's hard to feel close to you, Joan. 1.3311 0.04925 148 109 29 10
2653 Where do you think the valet will put your horse? 1.3310 0.04969 142 104 29 9
2654 I can’t even look at you anymore. 1.3300 0.03853 203 144 51 8
2655 I didn't expect '...in shining armor' to be taken literally 1.3299 0.04033 194 139 46 9
2656 When you described yourself as a “knight in shining armor,” I thought you were speaking metaphorically. 1.3298 0.04448 188 140 34 14
2657 I suppose I could have clarified what I meant by "looking for a traditional relationship." 1.3298 0.04318 188 138 38 12
2658 My Job? I’m currently on a quest, but the occasional pillage is rather lucrative 1.3298 0.04318 188 138 38 12
2659 I get it. Date knight. Droll. 1.3297 0.04229 185 134 41 10
2660 I thought it was date night, not date knight. 1.3297 0.04433 185 137 35 13
2661 No, it's alright, I just didn't think this was what you meant by 'a night out on the town' 1.3296 0.04395 179 131 37 11
2662 No, I'm not a damsel, and no, I'm not in distress... 1.3296 0.04323 179 130 39 10
2663 Tinder is the knight 1.3296 0.04323 179 130 39 10
2664 Well mom, there's a good reason Ed calls you a battleax. 1.3295 0.04221 176 126 42 8
2665 I really think you've been touring with "Spam-a-lot" a bit too long. 1.3295 0.04221 176 126 42 8
2666 Sorry. This is California. No straws. 1.3295 0.04446 176 129 36 11
2667 I wasn't trying to start a fight, I just prefer a roundtable. 1.3295 0.04065 176 124 46 6
2668 Hard day at work? 1.3295 0.04065 176 124 46 6
2669 I wanted to talk about our sex life. 1.3295 0.04298 176 127 40 9
2670 Just my luck! I choose a “Man of Steel”, they send a “Knight in Rusty Armor!” 1.3295 0.04221 176 126 42 8
2671 They forgot the bendy straw 1.3295 0.04298 176 127 40 9
2672 I've hidden your oil can. 1.3295 0.04499 173 127 35 11
2673 A Knight to Forget 1.3295 0.04269 173 124 41 8
2674 Don't worry, I don't unsheathe on the first date. 1.3295 0.04499 173 127 35 11
2675 Back off, Sir Handsalot! 1.3295 0.04269 173 124 41 8
2676 When I requested a round table I was expecting something a little grander. 1.3295 0.04189 173 123 43 7
2677 Not exactly my idea of a knight out on the town 1.3294 0.04397 170 123 38 9
2678 Should I ask for a square table for a change of pace? 1.3294 0.04397 170 123 38 9
2679 I thought I mentioned my hobbies... 1.3294 0.04068 170 119 46 5
2680 Well, you were right! Mail enhancement has significantly improved my strength and confidence. 1.3293 0.04763 167 125 29 13
2681 I don't feel like I'm getting through to you half the time. 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
2682 Your profile picture must have been taken at a different angle. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
2683 Truthfully, I checked the online​ dating box for steel blue eyes. 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
2684 This is what I get for joining TheeHarmony. 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
2685 You can imagine what it's like having a name like Brett. 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
2686 This isn't the knight cap I had in mind. 1.3293 0.04746 164 122 30 12
2687 Your profile said you like chivalrous men. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
2688 You look vulnerable. 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
2689 I've gotten a little rusty when it comes to dating. 1.3293 0.04746 164 122 30 12
2690 Actually, it filters the wine perfectly 1.3293 0.04746 164 122 30 12
2691 You wanted a round table, I got you a round table. 1.3292 0.04386 161 115 39 7
2692 Sorry, I still don't understand the whole "smart-casual" thing. 1.3292 0.04644 161 118 33 10
2693 I know you wanted our first date to be old-fashioned, but this is a little extreme. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
2694 I just get the sense that you have your defenses up. 1.3292 0.04560 161 117 35 9
2695 It's just that you take everything so literally. 1.3291 0.04789 158 117 30 11
2696 This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted a night out on the town 1.3291 0.04348 158 112 40 6
2697 I only drink antioxidants. 1.3291 0.04704 158 116 32 10
2698 I said date night, not date knight. 1.3291 0.04789 158 117 30 11
2699 Sure, the table's round. But these aren't goblets and your armor barely shines. 1.3291 0.04617 158 115 34 9
2700 Prithee, of what is this Tinder pic that you do speak of? 1.3291 0.04439 158 113 38 7
2701 Hand sanitizer, might be a better way to go. 1.3290 0.04587 155 112 35 8
2702 And here I thought chivalry was dead. 1.3290 0.04495 155 111 37 7
2703 Tell me about your divorce. 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
2704 Does the wine have a slight metallic taste to you? 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
2705 Thine Tinder hadst moved me 1.3289 0.04739 152 111 32 9
2706 I hope you brought your sword because we're splitting the check. 1.3289 0.04708 149 108 33 8
2707 I know they are frowned on, but I think you should try a straw. 1.3287 0.04940 143 105 29 9
2708 Maybe a straw would help? 1.3283 0.04165 198 145 41 12
2709 Pepper spray works for me. 1.3280 0.04166 189 137 42 10
2710 Do you think it would be bad form to ask for a straw? 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
2711 When I said “shut your face,” I didn’t mean for you to take it literally . 1.3280 0.04299 189 139 38 12
2712 My horoscope said this would be a knight to remember. 1.3280 0.03924 186 131 49 6
2713 This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted a night out on the town. 1.3279 0.04463 183 136 34 13
2714 Are you sure I can't get you a straw? 1.3278 0.04081 180 128 45 7
2715 Agincourt? You don't say. I served two tours in Afghanistan! 1.3278 0.03926 180 126 49 5
2716 I think you should open up more, don't be so guarded 1.3277 0.04202 177 127 42 8
2717 I thought you were being literal 1.3277 0.04202 177 127 42 8
2718 So, Jane, how do you feel about Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court? 1.3277 0.04568 177 132 32 13
2719 I feel like you’re not opening up. 1.3277 0.04425 177 130 36 11
2720 Shall I call you "dame" or "wench?" 1.3277 0.04352 177 129 38 10
2721 Perhaps I should have been more specific in my profile when I said I was looking for someone with 'old fashioned' sensibilities... 1.3277 0.04352 177 129 38 10
2722 [incredibly loud farting noise amplified by metallic ass plate] 1.3277 0.04706 177 134 28 15
2723 You seem closed up tonight. 1.3277 0.04568 177 132 32 13
2724 Wouldn't say a lot. More like lance a little. 1.3276 0.04326 174 126 39 9
2725 The dating service was awfully literal. 1.3276 0.04550 174 129 33 12
2726 I can still throw wine in your face. 1.3275 0.04606 171 127 32 12
2727 You don't look like your picture. 1.3275 0.04530 171 126 34 11
2728 Sheila realizes, she needs to be more specific when visualizing a night to remember. 1.3275 0.04376 171 124 38 9
2729 I'll be honest, this wasn't the knight I was expecting... 1.3274 0.04179 168 119 43 6
2730 I’m taking the subway home tonight and I like to be prepared. 1.3274 0.04346 168 121 39 8
2731 Oops, I forgot to ask for a straw.. 1.3274 0.04663 168 125 31 12
2732 I wouldn't call it "shining armor." It's more of a "brushed nickel." 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
2733 I thought they’d have straws. 1.3273 0.04643 165 122 32 11
2734 Whaddaya mean, "defensive"? 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
2735 When my friend said this was going to be a ‘nice knight,’ this wasn’t what I expected.” 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
2736 As the years wore on, the princess had long ago resigned herself to the fact that even “happily ever after” is not without it’s embarrassing moments. 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
2737 How was I supposed to know you meant a NIGHT club, Sharon? 1.3272 0.04702 162 120 31 11
2738 Happy Date Knight. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
2739 This is such a treat. It isn’t everyday I get to sit at a round table” 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
2740 Can we get the bill? My horse is double parked. 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
2741