Contest #628


Cartoon

628

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Yeah? Well, I’m also a fish out of Scotch.”
  2. “Then one day you wake up and you have ten thousand children and a mortgage that’s underwater.”
  3. “I’ve been told I should go with the white wine.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-08-26T23:53:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-09-09T23:54:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-09-03T23:53:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued September 10, 2018
Number of captions 8066
Number of responses 1302098
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I heard today I'm getting canned. 2.2717 0.00613 14093 2337 5590 6166
1 Whaddya mean you only serve fish on Friday 2.1638 0.00755 10773 2572 3864 4337
2 What the hell else would I drink like? 2.0946 0.00884 8170 2256 2885 3029
3 Just the worm, hold the Tequila. 2.0842 0.01210 4040 1038 1624 1378
4 Yeah? Well I'm also a fish out of Scotch. 2.0726 0.00798 10805 3352 3317 4136
5 Maybe one day she’ll realize I’m the one that got away. 2.0595 0.00683 12548 3325 5151 4072
6 It’s just so hard not to get wrapped up in the news. 2.0483 0.00794 10234 3062 3616 3556
7 I KNOW when something is watered down, pal. 2.0339 0.01006 5663 1530 2411 1722
8 'She says she needs room to breathe...what does that even mean?' 2.0100 0.00778 10329 3175 3876 3278
9 Then one day you wake up and you have ten thousand children and a mortgage that's under water. 2.0077 0.00808 9572 2954 3590 3028
10 They sent me to rehab to dry out - damn near killed me 1.9720 0.01247 3896 1235 1535 1126
11 Every single school rejected me. 1.9513 0.01015 5526 1715 2365 1446
12 And that fisherman had to be 7 or 8 feet tall 1.9419 0.00816 9485 3288 3460 2737
13 I hope this isn't a place where people come to hook up. 1.9319 0.00911 6992 2283 2902 1807
14 She's sleeping with the fishes. Just not this one. 1.9176 0.00953 7051 2570 2492 1989
15 Stop calling me chum! 1.9163 0.00957 6819 2439 2512 1868
16 Make it a double. I just got out of the tank. 1.9119 0.00813 9135 3198 3544 2393
17 I had a castle and treasure chest before my life went down the toilet. 1.9054 0.00938 7145 2616 2589 1940
18 Leave the tequila, I'll just take the worm. 1.9038 0.00841 8604 3073 3286 2245
19 So then I tell her, ‘Well after two days your mother stinks too.’ 1.8979 0.00901 7648 2805 2819 2024
20 Well, what else did you expect me to drink like? 1.8916 0.01484 2648 931 1073 644
21 Your sign clearly says We serve fish! 1.8892 0.00848 8501 3119 3205 2177
22 Well, I bet you drink like a bald guy 1.8609 0.01058 5449 2094 2019 1336
23 I came here to get a job on Wall Street, but it turns out they only hire sharks and piranhas. 1.8597 0.01064 5317 2024 2015 1278
24 You have no idea how hard it is to get a dry martini where I come from. 1.8487 0.01713 2036 785 774 477
25 Sure, but a horse walks into a bar and nobody bats an eye 1.8390 0.00899 7218 2779 2822 1617
26 At this point, I'm more of a fish out of bourbon. 1.8231 0.01009 5687 2238 2217 1232
27 I don't know why I can't meet anyone. I'm quite the catch. 1.8100 0.00923 7114 2960 2546 1608
28 Pisces... what’s yours. 1.8083 0.01142 4527 1853 1689 985
29 ...And then she gave me this koi smile. 1.8068 0.01091 4928 2014 1852 1062
30 I'm not making this up, she wants us to get a cat. 1.8063 0.01153 4666 1986 1598 1082
31 I still like to think of myself as a good catch. 1.8011 0.00827 8073 3190 3299 1584
32 ... but TEACH a fish to drink, and he can drink for a lifetime. 1.8005 0.01016 5930 2523 2067 1340
33 If the aquarium calls, I ain't here. 1.7661 0.01397 2890 1232 1102 556
34 Scotch, neat. And don't tap on the glass. 1.7587 0.01263 3801 1722 1274 805
35 Yes, but interestingly, I don’t drink like one. 1.7525 0.00938 6423 2806 2401 1216
36 ...and before I knew it,I'd fallen for her - hook,line,and sinker. 1.7492 0.01006 5666 2512 2063 1091
37 Large water. Salted. And keep'em coming. 1.7488 0.01069 5083 2276 1808 999
38 I was swimming upstream like everyone else, leaping up falls and stuff, and then I asked myself—why? 1.7436 0.01419 2812 1249 1035 528
39 The mustache is fine for you, Bart. On me it screams "CATFISH!" 1.7391 0.01442 2710 1209 999 502
40 And then, would you believe it, she tells me, ‘There’s plenty of fish in the sea!’ 1.7381 0.02132 1222 541 460 221
41 If I had wanted water I would have stayed where I was. 1.7284 0.01400 2739 1208 1067 464
42 I just got out of the can. 1.7250 0.01273 3414 1543 1267 604
43 give me a double, I'm getting canned tomorrow 1.7247 0.01126 4475 2055 1597 823
44 Can you sprinkle some food in the next one? 1.7203 0.01552 2342 1079 839 424
45 She's freshwater, I'm saltwater. It just wasn't gonna work. 1.7168 0.01556 2249 1021 844 384
46 Can I get some chips? 1.7054 0.01129 4491 2141 1532 818
47 This is what happens when you drain the swamp. 1.7018 0.01366 3152 1537 1018 597
48 I can’t believe she left me for that shrimp. 1.6957 0.01613 2182 1052 742 388
49 First off, I didn't WALK into this bar... 1.6949 0.01831 1678 806 578 294
50 So what did one Jewish Mama-fish say to another Jewish Mama-fish? She said, 'I'm so proud of my son, the sturgeon!' 1.6892 0.01607 2304 1154 712 438
51 Drowning my sorrows? Is that a joke? 1.6863 0.01487 2381 1117 894 370
52 Any bar snacks other than Goldfish? 1.6857 0.01216 3532 1652 1338 542
53 I’m waiting for the priest and the rabbi. 1.6838 0.01260 3681 1842 1161 678
54 Since The Shape of Water, I've been beating women off with a stick! 1.6724 0.01583 2228 1106 746 376
55 Yes, I DO drink like a fish. What a fresh, amusing observation. 1.6706 0.01432 2684 1326 916 442
56 I was let go today. 1.6700 0.01315 3073 1490 1107 476
57 So I said to her, "Kiss me." and wouldn't you know it, I'm no longer a frog. 1.6616 0.01706 1983 1021 612 350
58 You try and run a school all day. 1.6545 0.01711 1722 834 649 239
59 Yes, but I have a dry sense of humor. 1.6510 0.01466 2513 1270 850 393
60 It's OK, man - I'll take the Hudson home. 1.6478 0.01927 1448 734 490 224
61 . . . And don’t get me started on Roe v. Wade 1.6477 0.02100 1334 710 384 240
62 I've had too much?! You're the one who thinks I'm a giant fish! 1.6429 0.02055 1333 698 413 222
63 No, but I swear like a sailor 1.6414 0.01984 1330 672 463 195
64 Really, my name is Wanda. 1.6409 0.03293 479 241 169 69
65 I'll tell you the rest of the story when the Priest and the Rabbi get here. 1.6406 0.02875 665 345 214 106
66 I took the 5 from Fulton and transferred to the Q. How did YOU get here? 1.6351 0.01427 2532 1283 890 359
67 I tell all the girls that I'm rich in Omega-3. 1.6317 0.01740 1762 914 583 265
68 What’s the matter? You never seen a pickled herring? 1.6262 0.01589 2231 1201 663 367
69 I ain't drinking any water. Me and my friends pee in it all the time. 1.6243 0.01570 2284 1233 676 375
70 ... so I sez to the Genie, “Thanks for the billion dollars and eternal youth. I wanna drink like fish tonight to celebrate.“ 1.6241 0.01742 1881 1023 542 316
71 I got taken in by a hooker 1.6194 0.01546 2228 1178 720 330
72 I've been dry for a year now. 1.6179 0.01314 2986 1558 1011 417
73 Glad I made it through another Friday. 1.6146 0.02260 1038 552 334 152
74 Catch and release.” “Catch and release.” How about “DON’T CATCH! 1.6143 0.01706 1916 1046 563 307
75 You drink like a fish” she says. Well, of COURSE I drink like a fish 1.6121 0.01341 3037 1647 921 469
76 Don’t look at me like that! I was told this was a dive bar. 1.6062 0.02606 772 414 248 110
77 Why isn't there another sole in here? 1.6058 0.02473 832 440 280 112
78 So, do you believe in climate change now? 1.6025 0.01923 1507 838 430 239
79 And furthermore, don’t call me ‘Chum’! 1.6015 0.01511 2389 1317 707 365
80 Is it true you have to go to a special place to pee? 1.6004 0.01590 2112 1154 648 310
81 Carp diem. 1.5959 0.01801 1663 920 495 248
82 Of course, you know who kept the castle when we moved into separate bowls. 1.5956 0.01764 1679 915 528 236
83 Drinks like a fish? Cold as a fish? How do I stop the profiling, Al? 1.5951 0.03508 452 254 127 71
84 That's actually a simile, not a metaphor. 1.5903 0.01867 1489 816 467 206
85 I've been told I should go with the white wine. 1.5888 0.01672 1904 1059 569 276
86 Yeah, well, you pour like a turtle. 1.5842 0.02496 861 484 251 126
87 No, I drink like a guy who watches the news. 1.5838 0.01891 1461 812 445 204
88 Buddy, I just fertilized a thousand eggs today. Another round. 1.5829 0.01700 1767 973 558 236
89 Down there, we call it drinking like a writer. 1.5828 0.02113 1177 657 354 166
90 "They called it a funeral, but all they did was flush Jimmy down the toilet." 1.5814 0.01730 1696 934 538 224
91 Well, how else WOULD I drink? 1.5812 0.02225 1053 587 320 146
92 Skip the tequila and just give me the worm 1.5794 0.02487 775 417 267 91
93 And the fisherman I pulled into the water was 7' feet 7 inches and weighed 375 pounds. 1.5691 0.02520 803 452 245 106
94 "Sign outside says you serve fish. 1.5683 0.02475 776 424 263 89
95 Yes, I *do* drink like a fish! 1.5638 0.01900 1458 840 414 204
96 Being a big fish in a small pond is over-rated. 1.5596 0.03549 386 216 124 46
97 Don't get me going on Roe v. Wade! 1.5595 0.02176 1185 708 291 186
98 and I drink like one too; so keep my tab open 1.5584 0.01943 1318 747 406 165
99 I don't care what white wine goes with, bring me a scotch! 1.5568 0.01977 1374 808 367 199
100 I may be farm raised, but I couldn’t resist the lure of city life. 1.5555 0.02131 1082 613 337 132
101 I want top shelf stuff this time. No more bait and switch. 1.5516 0.02000 1193 672 384 137
102 You’re out of water? So am I. 1.5500 0.01975 1200 672 396 132
103 I'm meeting a rabbi and a priest. 1.5493 0.02086 1176 685 336 155
104 A double scotch neat and if the aquarium calls you haven't seem me. 1.5462 0.02033 1157 658 366 133
105 I’m not kidding you. The guy was THIS BIG! 1.5456 0.02062 1107 626 358 123
106 No, pal, I don't drink like a fish. I drink "as" a fish! 1.5447 0.02138 1129 665 313 151
107 Remember me? 2006, Bear Lake? You don't look so tough without that fishin' pole in your hand, mister... 1.5442 0.02256 1007 592 282 133
108 One tequila with two worms. 1.5437 0.02086 1087 618 347 122
109 I knew Flipper before he was an asshole 1.5417 0.02242 1054 631 275 148
110 Well, how do think they make pickled herring? 1.5379 0.02217 1002 585 295 122
111 Y'know when people say "he drinks like a fish"... I'm that fish. 1.5379 0.02223 1017 599 289 129
112 ...and then she says to me, 'Go spawn yourself'. 1.5367 0.03943 313 182 94 37
113 So she said "what on earth are you going to do with a bicycle'?" 1.5350 0.02343 944 566 251 127
114 Yes, and you drink like a human. What’s your point? 1.5342 0.02344 949 571 249 129
115 I'm sorry, but we only serve fish on Fridays. 1.5332 0.02447 844 502 234 108
116 Really? I bet you'd serve me if I was filleted in a lemon butter sauce. 1.5318 0.02338 929 555 254 120
117 I'm just tired of all the carping. 1.5310 0.02355 902 536 253 113
118 Reached my limit? I'm a fish, you idiot! 1.5281 0.02335 907 539 257 111
119 She was called Wanda. 1.5267 0.02426 862 519 232 111
120 I don't think I can walk out of here. 1.5257 0.02483 799 476 226 97
121 But not TOO dry, right?" 1.5244 0.02338 881 521 258 102
122 Can you put on the Marlins' game 1.5226 0.02441 775 452 241 82
123 Look, I don't blame you. You were just a kid then, how could you have known? But the toilet, Roger... the toilet. 1.5220 0.02519 818 501 207 110
124 Tequila shot...with the worm. 1.5212 0.02481 827 503 217 107
125 Yeah, but I tip like a whale 1.5188 0.02453 796 474 231 91
126 I don't care if it's bad for me, I want a plastic straw. 1.5188 0.02604 771 476 190 105
127 I'll have the chips 1.5168 0.02452 805 483 228 94
128 When climate change floods this dump, you'll be the one gasping for breath, amigo. 1.5167 0.02472 747 438 232 77
129 Listen Cueball, I'm up to my gills in work, I'm swimming in debt, and my love life's in the tank, so maybe it's you who should switch to water! 1.5161 0.02635 715 434 193 88
130 He said I was too koi. 1.5154 0.02570 745 451 204 90
131 I've had enough? I'm not the one hallucinating a giant, talking fish. 1.5149 0.02597 740 451 197 92
132 Gimme a shot of the East River. 1.5132 0.02521 756 455 214 87
133 Next thing I know, Jimmy Hoffa floats by. 1.5114 0.02753 659 404 173 82
134 Water. Salty. 1.5113 0.02524 755 456 212 87
135 What do you mean you don't serve fish except on Friday? 1.5105 0.02535 713 423 216 74
136 And then she left me, high and dry. 1.5100 0.02668 698 428 184 86
137 We met on HOOKED.COM 1.5092 0.02511 707 416 222 69
138 And just where am I supposed to get a shirt and shoes? 1.5089 0.02822 619 379 165 75
139 I know, I should be in a school right now... 1.5059 0.02475 682 394 231 57
140 YEAH,YEAH, I KNOW. I DRINK LIKE A FISH. 1.5052 0.02696 675 415 179 81
141 Understand something, I drink BECAUSE I’m a fish. 1.5050 0.02574 701 422 204 75
142 A trout, a haddock, and a squid walk into a bar...….. 1.5050 0.02652 701 432 184 85
143 You know, now that you mention it, I actually AM a big fish in a small pond. 1.5050 0.02535 701 417 214 70
144 She caught me and then released me - story of my life. 1.5045 0.02496 674 391 226 57
145 ...so then he says, "There's something fishy here," and they all turn to look at ME! 1.5043 0.02436 694 400 238 56
146 I'm sorry, I was told this was a dive bar. 1.5038 0.02686 659 401 184 74
147 I get that a lot, but Capote wore glasses. 1.5037 0.02771 669 420 161 88
148 I fell in love with a hooker. 1.5030 0.02731 658 406 173 79
149 I feel so used: She let me fertilize her eggs and I never saw her again! 1.5023 0.02774 639 395 167 77
150 Who are you callin' chum? 1.5008 0.02745 637 391 173 73
151 And you drink like a person. Your point? 1.5000 0.02736 662 412 169 81
152 A soon as you go belly up in this town, they flush you down the toilet. 1.4992 0.02660 659 401 187 71
153 Another tequila with worm. Hold the tequila. 1.4984 0.02569 640 376 209 55
154 So the guy who nearly hooked me was huge - at least ten feet, 400 pounds. 1.4984 0.02762 626 385 170 71
155 Not one of my seven thousand kids call me. 1.4969 0.02817 642 406 153 83
156 I just know I’m going to get canned. 1.4958 0.02710 597 357 184 56
157 We met on line, but after the first date, I was hooked. 1.4956 0.02852 565 344 162 59
158 Hey, I'm out of water again. 1.4953 0.02734 632 389 173 70
159 Can you please put the Marlin’s game on? 1.4941 0.02740 591 356 178 57
160 I'm not out of water, I'm out of whiskey! 1.4927 0.02699 613 371 182 60
161 Yeah? At least I don't smoke like a chimney. 1.4924 0.02761 591 359 173 59
162 Saying I drink like a fish isn't helping matters. 1.4906 0.02912 583 368 144 71
163 Yes, I do drink like a fish. So what? 1.4905 0.02878 581 363 151 67
164 What else would I drink like??!!! 1.4899 0.02903 596 379 142 75
165 I was supposed to meet a rabbi and a priest here. 1.4899 0.02815 596 370 160 66
166 Lately Bob I feel like I'm floundering 1.4893 0.02885 562 348 153 61
167 I AM the one who got away. 1.4885 0.02899 567 354 149 64
168 We were smooching and going to make babies...and then she left me for a guy with a fishing pole and a yacht. 1.4880 0.02918 584 371 141 72
169 A bar fly, please. 1.4850 0.02841 565 349 158 58
170 Do I tell you you've had too much to breathe? 1.4821 0.03050 504 316 133 55
171 ...and then she called me a cold fish. 1.4816 0.02943 517 319 147 51
172 Of course I drink like one. What did you expect? 1.4816 0.03140 517 335 115 67
173 If I wanted water in my scotch I'd drink at home. 1.4806 0.03001 541 345 132 64
174 There ain't another sole in this place. 1.4797 0.03010 492 304 140 48
175 ...And then she said it would never work because I was raised on a farm. 1.4788 0.02887 518 317 154 47
176 ... and then I told Mrs. Paul where she can stick it. 1.4784 0.03099 510 327 122 61
177 Yes, I am out of water, but I'm out of bourbon too. 1.4779 0.03086 521 336 121 64
178 You heard me, 10 gallons of water and a large bowl. 1.4779 0.03026 521 331 131 59
179 So, one day I thought what if I do need a bicycle. 1.4777 0.03911 314 200 78 36
180 Why yes. I am transitioning. 1.4771 0.03041 503 317 132 54
181 I can't drown my sorrows about my 1174 children who never call me. 1.4770 0.03188 499 325 110 64
182 So, the waitress says ‘Do you want anchovies on that?’ ...and I just looked at her. 1.4769 0.02987 497 308 141 48
183 So I told her, "Yeah? Well you eat like a pig." 1.4757 0.03051 515 329 127 59
184 You wouldn't happen to know where I could find a bicycle, would you? 1.4754 0.03103 509 328 120 61
185 You think you got a dysfunctional family? Listen, Tony, all my brothers are bottom feeders, and my sister married a loan shark. 1.4753 0.03315 425 269 110 46
186 Hold the tequila. Keep the worm. 1.4741 0.02925 502 309 148 45
187 Got change for a fin? 1.4741 0.02925 502 309 148 45
188 I'm trying to scale back. 1.4736 0.03074 435 264 136 35
189 Still think climate change is fake news? 1.4734 0.03081 488 309 127 52
190 Trust me, I'll be a mermaid nearer to closing time. 1.4733 0.02939 505 313 145 47
191 I was told this was a WET bar 1.4729 0.02947 480 293 147 40
192 Yes, you can call me Wanda if you like. 1.4719 0.03044 481 301 133 47
193 And then the president drained the swamp.... 1.4713 0.03012 488 305 136 47
194 I eat like a fish too, ok? 1.4712 0.03114 469 296 125 48
195 Before the divorce, I lived in a castle. 1.4702 0.03058 487 308 129 50
196 One more for the road. I have a designated diver. 1.4685 0.03037 476 298 133 45
197 Looks like you and I have the same barber. 1.4682 0.03280 425 270 111 44
198 I'm not leaving here until I get tanked! 1.4677 0.03167 464 297 117 50
199 You’re kidding! A horse walked into a bar? 1.4677 0.03197 464 299 113 52
200 For the last time, it's "large" mouth, not "big." 1.4675 0.03041 462 287 134 41
201 They always say, "A fish walked into a bar..." but they never stop to think how. 1.4675 0.03087 462 290 128 44
202 I coulda been Catch Of the Day. I coulda been a contender. 1.4670 0.03054 469 294 131 44
203 Where are all the barflys? 1.4668 0.03167 452 287 119 46
204 I'm not driving. 1.4654 0.03072 462 290 129 43
205 Seriously, I'm a good catch. 1.4654 0.03102 462 292 125 45
206 Yea, I'll tell you what's sick, "Catch of the Day", that's...sick. 1.4654 0.03132 462 294 121 47
207 You're goddamn right I drink like a fish! 1.4652 0.03327 445 292 99 54
208 Not a problem. I know a guy who can get you off the hook. 1.4638 0.03121 442 277 125 40
209 So, the fella at the helm was 8 feet tall and 600 pounds, easy. 1.4633 0.03169 436 275 120 41
210 So little Ms. Mermaid runs off with the handsome prince, and I'm stuck with the 1,237 kids. 1.4629 0.03136 458 292 120 46
211 Let me tell you man. There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea. 1.4621 0.03009 448 276 137 35
212 Can you believe it? I win a damn Oscar and now I can't get cast. 1.4619 0.03165 446 284 118 44
213 Then she said," You're not the only fish in the sea." 1.4619 0.03290 446 292 102 52
214 When I was younger, I was the catch of the day. 1.4612 0.03172 412 256 122 34
215 It's hard to find a neighborhood bar that serves fish. 1.4607 0.03006 445 274 137 34
216 So apparently asking if she'd like to sleep with the fishes isn't the stellar pick up line I'd imagined. 1.4607 0.03170 445 284 117 44
217 Water?! No way. Do you know what I do in water? 1.4601 0.03375 439 292 92 55
218 It was at this moment that Steve began to regret the mushrooms he'd taken before work. 1.4597 0.03371 409 265 100 44
219 Two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen, and keep 'em coming. 1.4589 0.03271 438 285 105 48
220 Ten thousand little mouths to feed. I just couldn't take the pressure 1.4580 0.03258 393 246 114 33
221 And, his policies are ruining our schools. 1.4576 0.03275 413 264 109 40
222 Mezcal with TWO worms, please. 1.4574 0.03232 411 260 114 37
223 Well, if you’re cutting ME off, then it’s time I get to the point. ‘Member the goldfish you flushed when you was six? Yep, that’s right, Billy, it’s me. Mr. Mothaflipping Gulp Gulp. 1.4572 0.03352 409 265 101 43
224 I prefer being a big fish in a small bar. 1.4565 0.03191 425 270 116 39
225 I’m just killing time until the tide comes in. 1.4550 0.03331 367 229 109 29
226 I'd like something dry. 1.4543 0.03239 416 266 111 39
227 You just called me "Donald." I'm a grouper. Not a groper. 1.4543 0.03368 394 254 101 39
228 Yeah...I'll have another. I'm off the hook tonight. 1.4541 0.03214 414 263 114 37
229 Actually, most of us prefer red wine. 1.4541 0.03232 414 264 112 38
230 If you tell me, "there are plenty of fish in the sea," one more time... 1.4536 0.03021 399 241 135 23
231 I got free lip piercing today. 1.4534 0.03678 322 206 86 30
232 It’s okay—I’m an Emotional Support Fish. 1.4533 0.03649 353 232 82 39
233 And a little something for the seahorse I rode in on. 1.4529 0.03296 393 250 108 35
234 I'm just saying that a guy without gills selling Bass Ale is culturally appropriative. 1.4526 0.03392 411 271 94 46
235 Don't worry about it, I came here on my bike. 1.4523 0.03332 409 266 101 42
236 I used to drink like a sailor. 1.4521 0.03326 407 264 102 41
237 Which raises an interesting question - Is it worse to be a fish out of water, or a bartender out of scotch? 1.4521 0.03326 407 264 102 41
238 Yeah? And you bartend like a bald guy! 1.4505 0.03566 384 257 81 46
239 So I told her it was me or her cat. 1.4502 0.03243 402 256 111 35
240 You are talking to a fish on a barstool and you say I'm drunk? 1.4500 0.03486 360 232 94 34
241 You think I'm trying to be koi? 1.4489 0.03416 401 265 92 44
242 Yes, I said extra dry. 1.4485 0.03423 388 254 94 40
243 Yes, I saw "The Shape of Water." No, I don't know him. 1.4484 0.03386 397 260 96 41
244 She had this way of making me feel like I was the only fish in the sea. 1.4484 0.03232 397 252 112 33
245 I tried going dry, but it didn't work for me. 1.4481 0.03302 395 254 105 36
246 and I smoke like a chimney. 1.4478 0.03448 393 260 90 43
247 What! Never seen a fish out of water? 1.4478 0.03333 393 254 102 37
248 Hey, Mister--my eyes are up here! 1.4474 0.03831 304 198 76 30
249 I just know I'm getting canned tomorrow. 1.4473 0.03385 351 221 103 27
250 Worm--and hold the tequila." 1.4459 0.03344 388 251 101 36
251 Yeah well YOU drink like a bald guy with a stupid mustache. 1.4459 0.03518 388 260 83 45
252 ... so I say "Well of course I drink like one - what did you expect?" 1.4456 0.03435 386 254 92 40
253 When I said fill it to the gills, whose gills do you think I meant?! 1.4456 0.03275 386 246 108 32
254 The guy I got away from was over 8 feet tall and must have weighed more than 400 pounds! 1.4456 0.03570 386 261 78 47
255 I've been caught and released so many times, I've lost my self-esteem. 1.4454 0.03524 348 225 91 32
256 Make it one for my baby, and one more for the roe. 1.4450 0.03542 373 248 84 41
257 And make it a double...I'm on shore leave. 1.4448 0.03558 362 239 85 38
258 This time make sure there’s a worm in my tequila! 1.4436 0.03345 381 246 101 34
259 All I remember is that we met online. 1.4430 0.03412 377 246 95 36
260 Listen, pal, I don't mind being a fish out of water. I do mind being a fish out of Scotch. 1.4429 0.03490 359 234 91 34
261 Teach a man to buy me a drink. 1.4427 0.03528 375 250 84 41
262 You promised me barflies, Steve...Where are the barflies?? 1.4421 0.03453 380 251 90 39
263 Don’t judge, Mac, it was a rough day. My buddies are covered in wasabi right now. 1.4419 0.03479 344 221 94 29
264 Flush yourself, I told her. 1.4414 0.03457 367 240 92 35
265 I was the one that got away. 1.4410 0.03665 356 240 75 41
266 I'm supposed to find fault with every little thing. I'm a carp. 1.4409 0.03548 372 249 82 41
267 Yeah? Well you pour like a girl. 1.4407 0.03525 354 232 88 34
268 And just like that, she flushed me down the toilet. 1.4403 0.03516 352 230 89 33
269 No, I don’t want to see the sushi menu. 1.4403 0.03493 352 229 91 32
270 Not true. I drink like a human. 1.4402 0.03406 368 239 96 33
271 What does that even mean.... drink like a fish? 1.4402 0.03534 368 245 84 39
272 I just wasn’t gonna be someone’s trophy, you know? 1.4399 0.03441 366 239 93 34
273 I SAID one more! You got a herring problem? 1.4396 0.03366 364 234 100 30
274 Well, I'm tired of your carping too. 1.4396 0.03388 364 235 98 31
275 Does Tom Hanks still come in here? He used to date my sister. 1.4394 0.03386 371 241 97 33
276 I can't believe someone would steal my bicycle. I really needed it. 1.4385 0.03335 358 228 103 27
277 She said she didn't need me. Then she took my bicycle. 1.4377 0.03583 361 242 80 39
278 Water. Neat. And keep it coming. 1.4371 0.03459 350 227 93 30
279 I was dating this mermaid, But she left me for an octopus. I mean how can you compete with that? 1.4370 0.03411 357 231 96 30
280 Well, your sign said, ‘We serve fish.’ 1.4368 0.03520 348 228 88 32
281 I got a feeling they're going to can me at work tomorrow. 1.4367 0.03591 332 217 85 30
282 Water, and make it snappy. I'm dying here. 1.4365 0.03510 362 240 86 36
283 Really? My brother was in here last night? Total fluke. 1.4363 0.03461 353 230 92 31
284 At twenty bucks a martini it's no wonder you don't get many fish in here! 1.4350 0.03476 354 232 90 32
285 I really shouldn't. I have a tendency to get hooked. 1.4343 0.03385 350 225 98 27
286 I am scaling back" 1.4341 0.03599 334 220 83 31
287 ...And put it in a dirty glass, I intend to get polluted. 1.4339 0.03542 348 230 85 33
288 You think that's something? Well I had to swim upstream the entire length of the Columbia River over rapids and past marauding bears just for a one night stand! 1.4339 0.03399 348 224 97 27
289 'Listen, bub, if you knew sushi like I knew sushi...' 1.4339 0.03471 348 227 91 30
290 What do you mean “stop being Koi”? 1.4339 0.03611 348 233 79 36
291 Don't give me that 'no shoes, no shirt, no service' line ... 1.4335 0.03485 346 226 90 30
292 And don't think I won't know if you water it down. 1.4331 0.03475 344 224 91 29
293 Where I come from, every bar's a dive. 1.4331 0.03523 344 226 87 31
294 Got any of those little people crackers ? 1.4327 0.03496 312 198 93 21
295 LIMMERICK: A big mouthed bass name of Nick...was feeling a bit ichthyonic...He drank like a fish...And had only one wish..."Just give me one more gin and tonic." 1.4315 0.03648 343 231 76 36
296 It’s an unfortunate stereotype. I’m here for the pretzels. 1.4311 0.03470 341 222 91 28
297 I'll need more than just a splash. 1.4308 0.03427 325 207 96 22
298 I’m salmon on my mother’s side but I don’t look it. 1.4307 0.03534 339 223 86 30
299 And how exactly did you think Herring got pickled? 1.4303 0.03710 323 216 75 32
300 I bet you always thought it was just a saying. 1.4303 0.03632 323 213 81 29
301 Yeah, it was never going to work. Her mother never approved of the school I was in. 1.4303 0.03524 323 209 89 25
302 Hey, I know what we do in the water. I'll take it neat. 1.4302 0.03522 344 227 86 31
303 Yeah, I'm supposed to meet a friend here...he wears an antique diving suit and pops out of a treasure chest 1.4299 0.03814 314 212 69 33
304 One more for the river. 1.4299 0.03638 335 224 78 33
305 Of all the gin joints and aquariums in all the world and I meet G. Gordon Liddy. 1.4273 0.03601 330 219 81 30
306 I told her, 'those eggs look nothing like me.'" 1.4272 0.03577 316 206 85 25
307 ...sure, I know how to drink like one, but learning English was harder 1.4268 0.03564 328 216 84 28
308 Of course I'm not driving home. You think I want to end up in the tank? 1.4268 0.03642 328 219 78 31
309 Biggest damn fisherman you ever saw, twelve feet tall if he was an inch. Would've had him, but the line broke. 1.4268 0.03538 328 215 86 27
310 What wine would you recommend for trout? 1.4268 0.03538 328 215 86 27
311 I want the one with the worm. 1.4268 0.03564 328 216 84 28
312 I'm a good catch right ? 1.4268 0.03458 328 212 92 24
313 Woman trouble? Are you kidding? Since the Godfather movies, nobody wants to sleep with the fishes! 1.4268 0.03485 328 213 90 25
314 Are you trying to bait me? 1.4268 0.03590 328 217 82 29
315 Bourbon and water. Hold the bourbon. 1.4268 0.03564 328 216 84 28
316 Last I heard, she was headed upstream. 1.4264 0.03422 333 215 94 24
317 When do the mermaids usually show up? 1.4264 0.03499 326 212 89 25
318 I just told her to fish or cut bait, and she took me literally... 1.4263 0.03775 312 210 71 31
319 Do I look like I drove here ? 1.4259 0.03811 317 216 67 34
320 Who you calling a hooker? 1.4257 0.03952 296 202 62 32
321 This town will eat you alive. 1.4256 0.03870 289 193 69 27
322 And NO plastic straws, thank you! 1.4255 0.03583 322 212 83 27
323 Not only am I a, 'fish out of water' I'm a fish out of money. 1.4255 0.03556 322 211 85 26
324 I could use a bowl of water... if it’s not too much trouble. 1.4255 0.03767 322 219 69 34
325 You don't know how tired I am of hearing "Holy Mackerel " every time I come in this watering hole. 1.4253 0.03669 308 203 79 26
326 It’s going swimmingly, but suddenly on day three she tells me I stink. 1.4253 0.03782 308 207 71 30
327 He said he had bigger fish to fry! 1.4248 0.03597 306 199 84 23
328 Back in my day, we had to swim upstream, both ways! 1.4241 0.03654 323 216 77 30
329 My first wife thought I was quite a catch. 1.4237 0.03535 321 210 86 25
330 I assure you, I'm not being koi. 1.4235 0.03850 281 186 71 24
331 The guy who hooked me had to be at least 6'7" and 275 pounds... He was huge. 1.4232 0.03633 319 212 79 28
332 All he ever wants to do is play catch and release. 1.4232 0.03633 319 212 79 28
333 How many more shots ‘til I get to the worm? 1.4232 0.03578 319 210 83 26
334 When the rabbi and the priest get here,tell them the fish is waiting for them.. 1.4230 0.03663 305 201 79 25
335 So I says to her: "Baby, there are plenty of other fish in the sea." 1.4230 0.03513 305 196 89 20
336 Bass. Sea Bass. 1.4230 0.03634 305 200 81 24
337 Maybe YOU'VE had too much to BREATHE! 1.4227 0.03649 317 211 78 28
338 I love this watering hole 1.4227 0.03538 317 207 86 24
339 Do you have any idea how much it takes to drown my sorrows? 1.4227 0.03621 317 210 80 27
340 Yeah? Well there’s something “mannish” about you! 1.4222 0.03524 315 205 87 23
341 You're cutting me off? You're the one talking to a fish. 1.4222 0.03665 315 210 77 28
342 I’m telling you he was at least 10 feet tall. 1.4219 0.03786 301 202 71 28
343 Hey pal! If I wanted water in my drinks, I'd just stay at home. 1.4212 0.03641 311 206 79 26
344 Sorry, no sauce for you. We only serve Fish on Fridays. 1.4209 0.03881 297 202 65 30
345 Yeah, I was in a private school. It was just sink or swim. 1.4203 0.03688 276 178 80 18
346 Grow some legs she said. Yeah, that will just take about 400 million years. 1.4194 0.03561 310 203 84 23
347 And don't even get started with that "drink like a..." 1.4194 0.03761 310 210 70 30
348 There are NOT plenty of fish in the sea once you turn 40, Carl! 1.4194 0.03619 310 205 80 25
349 The only thing worse than a fish out of water is a bar out of gin. 1.4194 0.03532 310 202 86 22
350 I thought that it would be more enjoyable getting polluted here than in the river. 1.4188 0.03577 308 202 83 23
351 Oh yeah? Well,I drink like one too! 1.4188 0.03806 308 210 67 31
352 After you flushed me down the toilet, I thought I would never see you again. 1.4188 0.03834 308 211 65 32
353 So what the Hell did you expect me to drink like? 1.4188 0.03693 308 206 75 27
354 So I said, where is the nearest lagoon, and he thought I said saloon. 1.4188 0.03750 308 208 71 29
355 Did you think it was just an expression? 1.4188 0.03750 308 208 71 29
356 ...and the worst part is, I fell for it too. Hook, line, and sinker. 1.4188 0.03806 308 210 67 31
357 Well, if I'm a bottom-feeder, what does that make this place? 1.4188 0.03693 308 206 75 27
358 Would you say I'm a good catch? 1.4178 0.03698 304 203 75 26
359 I need to get tanked and make it quick. 1.4175 0.03655 309 206 77 26
360 Well, of course I drink like a fish. What else am I going to drink like?? 1.4175 0.03851 309 213 63 33
361 If I wanted water, I would’ ve stayed home. 1.4172 0.03594 302 198 82 22
362 Nothing right now. I'm trying to scale back. 1.4167 0.03672 300 199 77 24
363 You'll see more of us with this global warming! 1.4164 0.03569 305 200 83 22
364 Do I look like I want it dry? 1.4161 0.03861 286 193 67 26
365 I found Nemo, but now I’m really trying to find myself.” 1.4158 0.03686 291 192 77 22
366 How much am I on the hook for? 1.4154 0.03757 272 178 75 19
367 I’m trying to get filleted tonight,if you catch my drift. 1.4150 0.03784 294 198 70 26
368 She left me for a goldfish. EVERYONE wants a goldfish. Just you wait, in a ​few weeks that relationship will be down the drain. 1.4149 0.03931 282 192 63 27
369 Yeah but I swim like a man 1.4149 0.03899 282 191 65 26
370 Food pellets, koi pond, and 500,000 kids...she got it all in the divorce. 1.4148 0.03848 270 179 70 21
371 Out of water? What kind of a bar runs out of water? 1.4147 0.03828 299 204 66 29
372 Do you ever feel like your whole existence is just a setup for a bad joke? 1.4146 0.03850 287 194 67 26
373 I'm looking for a fish called Wanda 1.4141 0.03846 297 203 65 29
374 This is a dive, right? 1.4141 0.03757 297 200 71 26
375 You think it's easy to drown my sorrows? 1.4141 0.03787 297 201 69 27
376 Line'em up, I have a reputation to uphold. 1.4141 0.03757 297 200 71 26
377 Something bracing. I've been swimming with the sharks all day. 1.4141 0.03665 297 197 77 23
378 Buddy, I’ve been in ponds that are less watered down.” 1.4137 0.04068 278 193 55 30
379 I'm not as fish as you drunk I am. 1.4134 0.04077 283 198 53 32
380 So? You breath like a human! 1.4133 0.03608 300 198 80 22
381 I'd rather hang around the bar than over the mantel. 1.4130 0.03667 293 194 77 22
382 I don't want you to give me a drink; I want you to teach me how to drink. 1.4130 0.03913 293 202 61 30
383 Keep 'em coming, I have a reputation to uphold. 1.4130 0.03698 293 195 75 23
384 Turns out there aren’t plenty of fish in the sea, after all. 1.4130 0.03761 293 197 71 25
385 And let me tell you, they got a lot wrong in The Shape of Water. 1.4118 0.03765 289 194 71 24
386 Why does everyone assume I'm a Pisces? 1.4116 0.03812 277 185 70 22
387 If I wanted water with my scotch would I be in here? 1.4113 0.03731 282 187 74 21
388 Another martini, Joe. I'm gonna get tanked tonight. 1.4111 0.03751 287 192 72 23
389 I drink to deal with the trolling. 1.4104 0.03828 268 178 70 20
390 Oh yeah? What am I supposed to drink like? 1.4103 0.03850 273 183 68 22
391 I’m going to smack that New Yorker intern who selects a lame “drink like a fish” caption for the top 3. 1.4103 0.03987 273 187 60 26
392 And you know what, it would be nice if- just once- these mobsters would ask if I wanted to sleep with any of these people. 1.4101 0.03835 278 187 68 23
393 If it looks like a fish, and drinks like a fish, it's probably a fish 1.4096 0.03904 271 183 65 23
394 Everyone in my school had a drinking problem. 1.4096 0.03834 271 181 69 21
395 Hey, Bub, I'm out of water. 1.4094 0.03853 254 167 70 17
396 Scotch, and 100 gallons of water. 1.4091 0.03887 286 196 63 27
397 That part was perfect for me, but Tom Hanks wanted Darryl Hannah. 1.4091 0.03855 286 195 65 26
398 Just so you know, I am offended equally by "stewed to the gills" and "drinks like a fish". 1.4091 0.03758 286 192 71 23
399 Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. 1.4091 0.03823 286 194 67 25
400 They keep saying Gill, 'there's plenty of fish in the sea', but you look around I swear it's all plastic. 1.4091 0.03855 286 195 65 26
401 If you knew what we do in the water, you would stick to scotch too! 1.4091 0.03855 286 195 65 26
402 Evolution is for quitters! 1.4091 0.03625 286 188 79 19
403 Another double water on the rocks, please. And hold the clichés. 1.4091 0.03591 286 187 81 18
404 Yes, I'm out of water, but not out of money. Keep it flowing." 1.4091 0.05818 110 72 31 7
405 I'm here to get tanked! 1.4085 0.03776 284 191 70 23
406 Let me have a tequila with a worm and hold the tequila. 1.4085 0.03906 284 195 62 27
407 Don't judge. I got hooked. 1.4084 0.03811 262 173 71 18
408 And then she took my bicycle and left. 1.4078 0.04038 255 173 60 22
409 I'll have a pure Sea Water. Neat. No plastic. 1.4078 0.03989 282 196 57 29
410 Scotch and salt water. 1.4078 0.03795 282 190 69 23
411 Water.....neat. 1.4078 0.03625 282 185 79 18
412 Yes, I drink like like a fish, so what? 1.4078 0.03989 282 196 57 29
413 School was just not my thing. 1.4078 0.03795 282 190 69 23
414 But all she cares about is what school I went to. 1.4071 0.03745 280 187 72 21
415 My life’s headed straight down the toilet. 1.4071 0.03745 280 187 72 21
416 Well, YOU drink like a bartender. 1.4071 0.04009 280 195 56 29
417 No, I am not tanked! 1.4071 0.03711 280 186 74 20
418 It’s just a midstream crisis. 1.4070 0.03927 258 173 65 20
419 Last time I date a witch. 1.4065 0.03798 278 187 69 22
420 Hey, I got one for ya. What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? Damn! 1.4065 0.03623 278 182 79 17
421 I'm drowning in debt, I can't float a loan, and my business is under water. Martini - very dry. 1.4065 0.03763 278 186 71 21
422 If you're seeing a fish, you're the one that's had enough. 1.4058 0.03782 276 185 70 21
423 Carp diem," that's what I always say. 1.4058 0.03851 276 187 66 23
424 What do you mean, "Be wary of Russian hookers?" 1.4058 0.03782 276 185 70 21
425 They want to arm our schools?! 1.4058 0.03782 276 185 70 21
426 I’ll know if you’re watering the drinks. 1.4058 0.03885 276 188 64 24
427 Ever think maybe you smell a little "Humany?" 1.4053 0.03788 264 175 71 18
428 That will do. I don’t want to have to crawl out of here. 1.4051 0.03657 274 180 77 17
429 I’ve been dealing with sharks at work all day. Make it a double! 1.4051 0.04006 274 190 57 27
430 Is your scotch wild or farm raised? 1.4046 0.04067 262 181 56 25
431 Certainly I want that with water 1.4044 0.03747 272 181 72 19
432 She fed me a line and here I am. 1.4044 0.03854 272 184 66 22
433 So then she says “I don’t think we should spawn anymore, but we can still be friends...” 1.4032 0.03649 253 163 78 12
434 My God, how hard can this be? Just put the water in a plastic bag. 1.4031 0.04037 258 177 58 23
435 As soon as I saw her, I was hooked. 1.4022 0.03791 271 182 69 20
436 Tell em, Mackie's back in town. 1.4022 0.04035 271 189 55 27
437 I miss the dive bar. 1.4022 0.03967 271 187 59 25
438 Scotch and water ... and hold the scotch. 1.4015 0.03661 269 177 76 16
439 But don't you think I'd make a great catch?" 1.4015 0.03699 269 178 74 17
440 Thirty years on the job and they replace me with some big fish just out of school... 1.4015 0.04022 269 187 56 26
441 I'm telling you, pal, he was so big I couldn't get him outta the boat!! 1.4015 0.03810 269 181 68 20
442 I can’t believe she was using me for bait. 1.4015 0.03846 269 182 66 21
443 Rejected? She flushed me down the toilet! 1.4015 0.03773 269 180 70 19
444 It all started when they flushed me down the toilet! 1.4007 0.03886 272 186 63 23
445 Line 'em up. I've got a reputation to defend. 1.4000 0.03811 265 178 68 19
446 Water, straight. And keep 'em coming 1.4000 0.03968 250 169 62 19
447 It turned out to be just another line. 1.4000 0.03773 265 177 70 18
448 Set 'em up Joe_I've got a little tail you ought to know. 1.3992 0.04015 263 182 57 24
449 I am out celebrating my promotion. Tomorrow I am being featured as the ‘catch of the day’! 1.3992 0.03675 263 173 75 15
450 The problem is, I can’t drown my sorrows. 1.3992 0.03942 263 180 61 22
451 Call me Fishmael. 1.3992 0.04122 263 185 51 27
452 Okay one more shot, but this time I want a worm in it! 1.3992 0.03868 263 178 65 20
453 What do you mean, stewed to the gills? 1.3992 0.03942 263 180 61 22
454 I’m sick and tired of living my life in a fishbowl. 1.3992 0.04030 248 169 59 20
455 All men want these days is a nice piece of bass. 1.3992 0.03948 248 167 63 18
456 I’m beginning to feel somewhat out of my depth here... 1.3992 0.03875 243 161 67 15
457 Oh yeah? Well, you pour like a bald guy! 1.3985 0.04180 261 185 48 28
458 Just water, thanks. 1.3985 0.03963 261 179 60 22
459 Not too dry 1.3984 0.03955 251 170 62 19
460 Mezcal staight up, extra worm, hold the hook. 1.3984 0.03995 251 171 60 20
461 I'll admit it-I got hooked on one of your bar flies. 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
462 She was looking to hook up. I just wanted to troll. 1.3977 0.03908 259 176 63 20
463 No, I didn't WALK into a bar. 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
464 I've been told this is an upscale establishment. 1.3977 0.03984 259 178 59 22
465 How many times have YOU been caught and released? 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
466 They drained the swamp. 1.3977 0.04167 259 183 49 27
467 You know, we have a saying too: "You breathe like a human." It ain't a compliment. 1.3977 0.03946 259 177 61 21
468 And then she tells me she’s a pescatarian.” 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
469 Gimme a grasshopper. 1.3977 0.04021 259 179 57 23
470 If I could drown my sorrows underwater, I wouldn't be here. 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
471 Sorry. We only serve fish on Good Friday. 1.3977 0.03869 259 175 65 19
472 So glad you threw out the “no shirt, no shoes..” policy, Carl. 1.3975 0.04116 244 168 55 21
473 Personally, I happen to think sea level rise is a good thing. 1.3975 0.04033 244 166 59 19
474 Just the chips, no fish. 1.3969 0.03928 257 175 62 20
475 And then, BAM! It hits me...I DO drink like a fish!! So why fight it 1.3969 0.04043 257 178 56 23
476 At least I’m not drunk as a skunk 1.3968 0.03943 252 171 62 19
477 I'm getting out of the upstream-to-spawn grind; I found a nice quiet aquarium, complete with a little castle. 1.3968 0.03743 247 162 72 13
478 So this is what you call a dive bar? 1.3966 0.04071 237 161 58 18
479 So now I'm a fish out of bourbon too? 1.3961 0.03988 255 175 59 21
480 I want a martini ... and it BETTER NOT BE DRY! 1.3961 0.03910 255 173 63 19
481 Ten thousand gallons of water, neat, in your largest plastic bag. And don’t forget the twist. 1.3961 0.03988 255 175 59 21
482 You ever felt like a fish outta' water? 1.3961 0.03536 255 164 81 10
483 No salt on the rim, I'm fresh water. 1.3959 0.03850 245 163 67 15
484 Sorry, we only serve fish on Fridays 1.3959 0.03978 245 166 61 18
485 Humans would drink this much, too, if you spawned 6 thousand kids a year and any piece of food you bit into might be a hook. 1.3951 0.04084 243 167 56 20
486 A metaphor often feels like a fish out of water. But a simile sits quietly, drinking like a fish. 1.3942 0.04149 241 167 53 21
487 What's your poisson? 1.3942 0.04149 241 167 53 21
488 If a halibut calls, I’m not here. 1.3942 0.04064 241 165 57 19
489 This is really hard to explain, but I'm also going to need a bicycle. 1.3939 0.04363 231 163 45 23
490 I should've stayed in school. 1.3937 0.03878 254 172 64 18
491 .... tell me about it. I have more than 10,000 kids, and I don't have a good relationship with any of them! 1.3937 0.03996 254 175 58 21
492 And then I was up for the lead in 'Flipper," but no, they had to have a guy with a blowhole and a goofy accent. 1.3937 0.04149 254 179 50 25
493 And quit calling me 'Chum"! 1.3937 0.03878 254 172 64 18
494 And that's why I'm never going back to my old school. 1.3933 0.04214 239 167 50 22
495 Have I told you the one about how I got away? 1.3933 0.04172 239 166 52 21
496 Tab please, I think I'll head home, spawn and die now. 1.3930 0.04257 229 159 50 20
497 One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish — doesn’t matter, I’ve slept with ‘em all. 1.3929 0.03647 252 165 75 12
498 I think I'll go with a white wine. 1.3929 0.04057 252 175 55 22
499 I just can't seem to keep my head above water. 1.3922 0.03943 232 155 63 14
500 I'm looking for a long-term relationship. I'm tired of being the one that got away. 1.3920 0.03836 250 168 66 16
501 Back in the day I was a beautiful mermaid. And then along came Ariel...that bitch. 1.3919 0.04257 222 153 51 18
502 Don’t say it! I can stop any time I want. 1.3911 0.04062 248 172 55 21
503 Yes I’m emotional, I flushed my wife today. Now pour me another. 1.3911 0.04021 248 171 57 20
504 She asked me to swim upstream with her. But I'm not that kind of a fish. 1.3911 0.03981 248 170 59 19
505 I just feel like life has no porpoise. 1.3902 0.04244 246 175 46 25
506 If they call from Fulton's, don't tell them I'm here. 1.3902 0.04165 246 173 50 23
507 Have you tried fish oil for that hair loss? 1.3902 0.04084 246 171 54 21
508 If it's Dory, I ain't here! 1.3902 0.04084 246 171 54 21
509 How do you know there are plenty of fish in the sea? 1.3902 0.03876 246 166 64 16
510 First of all, a fish can't walk into a bar. 1.3902 0.03833 246 165 66 15
511 Beefeaters please. 1.3902 0.04165 246 173 50 23
512 I'm waiting for my solemate." 1.3902 0.04002 246 169 58 19
513 Not too drunk to ride my bicycle. 1.3902 0.04165 246 173 50 23
514 Anything, as long as it's not on the rocks. 1.3898 0.03941 236 159 62 15
515 YOU wait an hour before swimming. 1.3896 0.04227 231 161 50 20
516 Do you have change for a fin? 1.3896 0.03951 231 155 62 14
517 Go Fish my ass, we're playing poker this time! 1.3893 0.03939 244 166 61 17
518 I started drinking after I dropped out of school 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
519 Don’t even get me started on pescatarians 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
520 Go easy - I'm already tanked. 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
521 I need a drink. I feel like a fish out of water. 1.3884 0.04253 242 172 46 24
522 Hence, the simile. 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
523 So she lays 50,000 eggs into a little pit in the gravel. Is that supposed to turn my crank? 1.3884 0.03873 242 163 64 15
524 Water and a large bowl. 1.3884 0.03961 242 165 60 17
525 Not everyone supports draining the swamp. 1.3884 0.04004 242 166 58 18
526 I’ll take a water with a splash of salt 1.3884 0.04088 242 168 54 20
527 I'm looking for Wanda. 1.3884 0.04212 242 171 48 23
528 Water. Keep it coming. 1.3884 0.04004 242 166 58 18
529 I'm telling you that guy was huge, at least eight feet tall and all muscle, but I pulled him right into the lake! 1.3884 0.03829 242 162 66 14
530 ....out of water. Good one. 1.3884 0.04004 242 166 58 18
531 Then I dropped out of school... 1.3884 0.04171 242 170 50 22
532 My wife made me shave mine off. 1.3877 0.03896 227 151 64 12
533 Donald Trump doesn't know the first thing about 'catch and release', believe me. 1.3877 0.04323 227 160 46 21
534 Drink like a fish? No, never heard that one before 1.3875 0.03894 240 162 63 15
535 That's enough for me. I have to swim home. 1.3875 0.03894 240 162 63 15
536 That's large mouth not big mouth. 1.3875 0.03663 240 157 73 10
537 What happened? You used to pack 'em in like sardines here. 1.3875 0.03757 240 159 69 12
538 I was sent to tell you one more missed payment and you’ll be swimming with me! 1.3874 0.04371 191 129 50 12
539 I bet you'd serve me if I were a mermaid. 1.3874 0.04299 222 155 48 19
540 It's an upstream battle. 1.3874 0.04252 222 154 50 18
541 Pretty soon I'll be tanked. 1.3874 0.03953 222 148 62 12
542 No, I'm not a fish out of water. I'm a fish out of bourbon. Another double, bartender. And pronto. 1.3868 0.03990 243 167 58 18
543 He left me high and dry. 1.3866 0.03960 238 162 60 16
544 Look he knew I was a GOLDFISH before he married me! 1.3866 0.04092 238 165 54 19
545 I came here for compliments 1.3866 0.04344 238 171 42 25
546 NO SALT! 1.3864 0.04421 220 156 43 21
547 Seen any hookers in here?" 1.3859 0.04098 241 168 53 20
548 What I'm saying is there's gotta be more to life than just "spawn and die". 1.3859 0.03698 241 159 71 11
549 Good to be here Joe, I almost didn't get away this time. 1.3859 0.03836 241 162 65 14
550 ...and that’s how I got hooked. 1.3859 0.03925 241 164 61 16
551 I don't mean to be Koi, Roy. Just listen to me. 1.3857 0.04188 223 154 52 17
552 I don't drive. Would you take my school I.D.? 1.3857 0.04423 223 159 42 22
553 If I'm home late again, she'll batter me. 1.3853 0.04154 218 149 54 15
554 She left when she saw I was farm raised. 1.3850 0.03949 213 141 62 10
555 I'm benthic. She's pelagic. It just didn't work out. 1.3846 0.04180 208 141 54 13
556 I'm telling you, it's not easy being the one who got away. 1.3846 0.04003 234 160 58 16
557 I’m in the neighborhood house hunting. In a few years this is going to be prime off-shore real estate. 1.3846 0.04049 234 161 56 17
558 Light on the tequila, heavy on the worm. 1.3846 0.03816 234 156 66 12
559 Put. Those. Straws. Away. 1.3846 0.04854 143 95 41 7
560 Hey we have the same haircut 1.3846 0.04183 234 164 50 20
561 Can’t take the thought of getting back to school 1.3839 0.04026 224 152 58 14
562 And it was after I swallowed two plastic straws in one day when I just said enough with the ocean, I'm out! 1.3836 0.04337 219 154 46 19
563 H2O up straight please! 1.3833 0.04273 227 160 47 20
564 "Do you serve fish on Fridays? Yes or no? 1.3825 0.04364 217 153 45 19
565 Long time no sea. 1.3824 0.04345 204 141 48 15
566 Just in here looking for a piece of bass 1.3824 0.04455 204 143 44 17
567 Damn right, I drink like a fish. 1.3820 0.04192 233 164 49 20
568 What do you mean no shoes no service? 1.3820 0.03871 233 157 63 13
569 I'm a fish out of alcohol. 1.3820 0.04148 233 163 51 19
570 I am looking for a worm. He is probably hiding in one of your tequila bottles. 1.3820 0.04012 233 160 57 16
571 The next guy who says "I bet you drink like a fish" gets a fin in the face! 1.3820 0.04148 233 163 51 19
572 Did I tell you about the time I dropped out of school? 1.3820 0.03966 233 159 59 15
573 I told you I could drink like a fish. 1.3818 0.04223 220 153 50 17
574 No way. I piss in the water. 1.3813 0.05146 139 95 35 9
575 No, I really mean it -- I'm not being koi! 1.3812 0.04484 202 142 43 17
576 Carp, carp, carp. That's all she does. 1.3812 0.04316 202 139 49 14
577 So, long story short, I kissed the mermaid. 1.3810 0.03843 231 155 64 12
578 Yeah? Well, we say "drunk as a bald bartender", so back atcha. 1.3810 0.04261 231 164 46 21
579 She said there were plenty of other fish in the sea 1.3810 0.03744 231 153 68 10
580 What was I two drinks ago? 1.3810 0.04217 231 163 48 20
581 Level with me - I'm washed up, aren't I? 1.3810 0.03843 231 155 64 12
582 What do you mean you don't serve fish? 1.3810 0.04081 231 160 54 17
583 There aren't. There aren't plenty of fish! 1.3810 0.04034 231 159 56 16
584 I also plan to smoke like a chimney. Wanna make something of it? 1.3810 0.04217 231 163 48 20
585 ... and don't go telling me there are other fish in the sea. 1.3810 0.04217 231 163 48 20
586 Yes, wise-guy, I'm the one that got away. 1.3810 0.03940 231 157 60 14
587 Trust me, there are not plenty of fish in the sea. 1.3807 0.04045 218 148 57 13
588 What do you mean my ID looks fishy? 1.3805 0.03847 226 151 64 11
589 I'm just tired of dating betas. 1.3802 0.05282 121 81 34 6
590 Are you trying to kill me? I said no salt on the rim! 1.3802 0.05537 121 83 30 8
591 Of course I want salt on that margarita. Do I look like a fresh water fish? 1.3801 0.04109 221 152 54 15
592 I'm not out of water, idiot, I'm out of whiskey! 1.3801 0.04304 221 156 46 19
593 Koi, not coy. 1.3799 0.04242 229 162 47 20
594 You got anything to nibble on? 1.3799 0.04196 229 161 49 19
595 You know I don't have to come HERE to get polluted. 1.3799 0.04151 229 160 51 18
596 I guess you don't recognize me. I used to be small and orange. 1.3790 0.04183 219 152 51 16
597 He scribbled down his number and said, "Call me, Ishmael," but I knew he was just feeding me a line. 1.3789 0.04500 190 132 44 14
598 Your window says you serve fish. 1.3789 0.03885 227 153 62 12
599 I've learned to live with it -- a few drinks, and I get all Koi 1.3789 0.04080 227 157 54 16
600 I'm fixing to get stewed to the gills. 1.3789 0.04267 227 161 46 20
601 That last martini was too dry. 1.3789 0.03984 227 155 58 14
602 No shit, Sherlock. 1.3789 0.04175 227 159 50 18
603 I'm telling you, it's sink or swim out there. 1.3789 0.04128 227 158 52 17
604 It's not against the law to drink and swim, so don't start telling me when you think I've had enough! 1.3789 0.04032 227 156 56 15
605 Evolution is fake news 1.3781 0.04210 201 137 52 12
606 A fish out of water ALWAYS drinks like a fish. 1.3779 0.04407 217 155 42 20
607 Skip the drink. I'll have just a grasshopper. 1.3778 0.04200 225 158 49 18
608 Ha, ha. ‘Drink like a fish’, never heard that one before. 1.3778 0.04104 225 156 53 16
609 Louie, you now know how pickled herring become pickled herring. 1.3778 0.04055 225 155 55 15
610 Things are great! No hard feelings about flushing me down the toilet. 1.3778 0.04152 225 157 51 17
611 These shots are good, but I really want more of those barflies. 1.3778 0.04055 225 155 55 15
612 I’m a fish out of water, and I’m out of water. 1.3778 0.04055 225 155 55 15
613 Ariel changed, man. She really changed. 1.3776 0.04842 143 96 40 7
614 I'm perched. 1.3776 0.04220 196 133 52 11
615 Don’t worry, I have a designated swimmer. 1.3773 0.03748 220 145 67 8
616 I can't believe she left me for that cod. 1.3769 0.04115 199 134 55 10
617 But, man, she was one alluring hooker. 1.3767 0.04234 215 150 49 16
618 Polar ice caps are melting, oceans are warming and food supply is dwindling - so don't tell me to calm down! 1.3767 0.04336 215 152 45 18
619 Dropped out of my school, and never looked back! 1.3767 0.04177 223 156 50 17
620 I'll have a scotch and water. Lots of water. 1.3767 0.04177 223 156 50 17
621 Dropping out of my school to pursue soccer was my first mistake! I'm too afraid of the net. 1.3767 0.04177 223 156 50 17
622 It's me, Harry. I'm the victim of a phishing scam. 1.3767 0.04319 223 159 44 20
623 So that’s when she said she had it up the gills with me. 1.3767 0.04177 223 156 50 17
624 Just for fun - sparkling water 1.3767 0.04029 223 153 56 14
625 You hear the one about the shark, the dolphin and the manta ray swim into a sand bar? 1.3767 0.04225 223 157 48 18
626 Can you switch the TV to the Marlins game? 1.3762 0.04310 202 140 48 14
627 I don't understand. Her dating profile said she liked swimmers bodies. 1.3762 0.04532 202 144 40 18
628 I'd like a barfly. 1.3762 0.04194 202 138 52 12
629 Do you have paper straws? 1.3756 0.04614 197 141 38 18
630 Of all the gin joints in the world,I have to walk into the only one that sells sushi. 1.3756 0.04298 221 157 45 19
631 ...and right in the middle of it all, she calls me NEMO! 1.3756 0.04001 221 151 57 13
632 I'm gonna need a designated swimmer. 1.3756 0.03949 221 150 59 12
633 Come on... just one more for the river. 1.3756 0.04152 221 154 51 16
634 Last time I saw her, she said she’d drop me a line. I should have known then it was over. 1.3756 0.03790 221 147 65 9
635 Oh yeah, wiseguy? And what, pray tell, SHOULD I be drinking like? 1.3756 0.04202 221 155 49 17
636 And then I says to the guy, I says - Joe, they got you hook, line and sinker. 1.3756 0.04102 221 153 53 15
637 You don't serve fish huh? Then give me a hamburger. 1.3756 0.04250 221 156 47 18
638 She had me hook, line and sinker. 1.3756 0.04001 221 151 57 13
639 I'm celebrating my anniversary. I'm the one that got away. 1.3756 0.03844 221 148 63 10
640 A tuna, a grouper, and a shark walk into a bar .... 1.3756 0.04393 221 159 41 21
641 I only seem koi. 1.3756 0.04250 221 156 47 18
642 ...My old man just got sent up the river. 1.3756 0.03949 221 150 59 12
643 Yes, I'm new here - fresh off the boat as a matter of fact. 1.3756 0.04001 221 151 57 13
644 Yes, I'm carping. What did you expect? 1.3756 0.04001 221 151 57 13
645 I'm not driving, thank you. I rode my bicycle. 1.3756 0.04052 221 152 55 14
646 Set me up with a double water and keep em coming. 1.3756 0.04102 221 153 53 15
647 keep them coming -- if I pass out, you can hang me out to dry. 1.3756 0.04250 221 156 47 18
648 I don’t care if you believe it or not. Ancestry.com says that you’re my father! 1.3756 0.04393 221 159 41 21
649 One more, then flush me home. 1.3756 0.04346 221 158 43 20
650 Tonight I’m getting tanked. 1.3756 0.04152 221 154 51 16
651 On the rocks? What am I, a starfish? 1.3750 0.04277 208 145 48 15
652 I was told this is a dive bar. 1.3744 0.04024 219 150 56 13
653 Listen, we're all fish out of water now. 1.3744 0.04127 219 152 52 15
654 Scaling back just rubs me the wrong way. 1.3744 0.04227 219 154 48 17
655 I tried that line, but she still wouldn’t bite. 1.3744 0.04024 219 150 56 13
656 If I pass out, call a taxi instead of flushing me down the toilet. 1.3744 0.04075 219 151 54 14
657 No, I REALLY need to get tanked. 1.3744 0.04127 219 152 52 15
658 Yeah, well you’re bald. 1.3744 0.04373 219 157 42 20
659 One disadvantage is we cannot drown our sorrows 1.3744 0.04276 219 155 46 18
660 Seriously, I’m think about going back to school. 1.3744 0.03998 203 136 58 9
661 Please, don’t start with the “there are other fish in the sea” speech... 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
662 You don't have a fishbowl? How about a fish platter, then?" (By Beatriz Whitford, age 7, Chicago IL 1.3736 0.04637 174 121 41 12
663 I invited Sandra out - but she’s a little koi 1.3733 0.03994 217 148 57 12
664 It was her fishnet stockings that hooked me... 1.3731 0.05471 134 95 28 11
665 One more for the stream 1.3731 0.04489 201 143 41 17
666 I'm waiting for my friend, Gefilte. The Putz is always late! 1.3727 0.04111 220 153 52 15
667 No sir, I'll know I've hit bottom when I see the flounder. 1.3721 0.04176 215 150 50 15
668 I'm a fish out of bourbon. 1.3721 0.04279 215 152 46 17
669 Water! Make it a double! And keep 'em coming! 1.3721 0.04124 215 149 52 14
670 My mortgage is underwater. 1.3719 0.04229 199 137 50 12
671 I'll have one more for the river. 1.3719 0.04229 199 137 50 12
672 I hate facing the parents at "back to school" night. 1.3719 0.04685 199 145 34 20
673 No! My name’s not Wanda. 1.3711 0.04239 194 133 50 11
674 Thank you, I'm flattered. But you need to know that my husband is a plastic sturgeon. 1.3711 0.04239 194 133 50 11
675 Yeah, and I smoke like a chimney, too. 1.3711 0.04484 194 137 42 15
676 I always feel safer in a vegan bar. 1.3709 0.04201 213 149 49 15
677 Got any 12 year old Hudson River back there? 1.3709 0.04201 213 149 49 15
678 Think about it - why call it Earth and not Planet Ocean? 1.3706 0.04435 197 139 43 15
679 Of course I drink like a fish! What else would I drink like?! 1.3706 0.04493 197 140 41 16
680 To the gills, Manny. To the gills. 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
681 Hey Bartender, I'm outta water here. 1.3706 0.04435 197 139 43 15
682 I drink like a fish? Oh, that's hilarious. I've never heard that one before. 1.3706 0.04493 197 140 41 16
683 You don't happen to have some of those cute little Goldfish Crackers do you? 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
684 Well, I am a fish so yes I drink like one. 1.3706 0.04493 197 140 41 16
685 So, a fish walks into a bar and says to the barkeep: 'Have I got a tale for you'. 1.3702 0.04046 208 142 55 11
686 ... so then that she called me a bottom feeder and spawned with some bass player! 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
687 This is who I am. I don't play koi. 1.3700 0.04445 200 142 42 16
688 You know, where I'm from, the drinks are free. 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
689 Fish? We prefer "Underwater Americans". 1.3696 0.04523 184 129 42 13
690 We only serve fish of Fridays 1.3695 0.04397 203 144 43 16
691 Is this my dream or is it yours, Phil. If it's mine, give me another gin and tonic. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
692 Betas can be alphas too, chum! 1.3682 0.04312 201 141 46 14
693 My first choice was “screw like a rabbit,” next was “eat like a pig,” but they gave me this simile. 1.3682 0.04370 201 142 44 15
694 Do you know a fish called Wanda? 1.3682 0.04254 201 140 48 13
695 I'll have one for the roe. 1.3682 0.04195 201 139 50 12
696 No, I'm not a fish out of water, I'm a fish out of Scotch - fill em all up please! 1.3679 0.04315 212 151 44 17
697 It's not easy being orange these days! 1.3673 0.04266 196 136 48 12
698 I'm here to feed the stereotype. 1.3671 0.04169 207 144 50 13
699 Who invites a fish to a dry wedding? 1.3671 0.04280 207 146 46 15
700 And I'm sick of those "Roe vs. Wade" jokes! 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
701 I'll have a Grasshopper, please. 1.3671 0.04169 207 144 50 13
702 Funny, where I come from, they say I drink like an Wall Street trader. 1.3671 0.04224 207 145 48 14
703 “Turns out I do need a bicycle after all.” 1.3671 0.04441 207 149 40 18
704 Thanks for letting me off the hook tonight. 1.3671 0.04334 207 147 44 16
705 The key, Bill, is everything in moderation. Don't get hooked. 1.3671 0.03996 207 141 56 10
706 Water. With a splash of scotch. 1.3671 0.04224 207 145 48 14
707 I'm meeting a mermaid for drinks. 1.3671 0.04388 207 148 42 17
708 What? You said a fin would cover it! 1.3671 0.04224 207 145 48 14
709 Which part of "wet Martini" do you not understand? 1.3669 0.05221 139 98 31 10
710 You’re from Martha’s Vineyard, Louie? Me too, I went to school there. 1.3668 0.04281 199 139 47 13
711 And I fell for her lies, hook, line, and sinker" 1.3668 0.04398 199 141 43 15
712 There’s plenty of fish to in the sea, she says. And that’s when it hits me: Hey, this ain’t just a saying. 1.3668 0.04398 199 141 43 15
713 Look, I’ve heard every “drinks like a fish joke”, OK 1.3668 0.04398 199 141 43 15
714 Did I ever tell you about the one I got away from? 1.3665 0.04587 191 137 38 16
715 OK, I'll take the bait, who DO I remind you of? 1.3665 0.04465 191 135 42 14
716 Lou, would I lie to you? I'm fine to dive home tonight. 1.3662 0.03977 213 146 56 11
717 Do I judge you? I do not. 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
718 Don’t gimme “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” nonsense. 1.3659 0.04416 205 147 41 17
719 Oh yeah? Well you serve like a bartender! 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
720 They're always asking,"where's Nemo",never "how's Nemo." 1.3659 0.04523 205 149 37 19
721 And another thing...don't call me "chum" anymore. 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
722 What’s the drink that comes with a worm? 1.3659 0.04194 205 143 49 13
723 My doctor said to stay hydrated. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
724 You're baiting me. 1.3659 0.04194 205 143 49 13
725 Yes, I know I'm a cliché. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
726 I don't drink like a fish; but my father, there was a fish who could drink. 1.3659 0.04362 205 146 43 16
727 Yeah? Well there's a good reason why I carp about everything! 1.3659 0.04194 205 143 49 13
728 Oh, YOU don't like it when people knock on the table to get your attention?!? 1.3659 0.04416 205 147 41 17
729 So I'm talking out of school - so what? 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
730 Listen, Larry, you try growing up a giant, anthropomorphized carp and see if you don’t toss back a few too many from time to time. 1.3659 0.04362 205 146 43 16
731 I used to be a small fish in a big pond, but now. . . 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
732 Yeah and you breathe like a mammal! 1.3659 0.04137 205 142 51 12
733 A rabbi and a priest suggested I come in here. 1.3659 0.04194 205 143 49 13
734 So a perch, a minnow, and a rabbitfish go into a bar... 1.3659 0.04307 205 145 45 15
735 Let me tell ya about being a big fish in a small pond. 1.3659 0.04019 205 140 55 10
736 Tell the ladies I'm the catch of the day. 1.3655 0.04309 197 138 46 13
737 I got here on my bicycle." 1.3654 0.04527 208 152 36 20
738 Actually, learning to sit on a bar stool was harder than learning to drink from a glass. 1.3652 0.05430 115 79 30 6
739 And then I'm going to need you to pour it over my gills. 1.3651 0.04496 189 134 41 14
740 How many more shots is it going to take to get to that worm? 1.3651 0.04432 189 133 43 13
741 Drowning my sorrows just isn't working for me 1.3650 0.04846 137 93 38 6
742 If it's got a worm, I'll drink it! 1.3649 0.04220 211 149 47 15
743 Give Me one for my baby and one more for the roe 1.3649 0.04529 211 155 35 21
744 Do you have any of those gold fish crackers? 1.3649 0.04056 211 146 53 12
745 ...and you drink like a bald guy with a moustache! 1.3649 0.04056 211 146 53 12
746 Pick my poisson. 1.3649 0.04166 211 148 49 14
747 I’m telling you- she was the one that got away. 1.3649 0.04273 211 150 45 16
748 Hook me up. 1.3646 0.04384 192 135 44 13
749 I am not making this up. He was the biggest guy I ever caught. At least 14 feet tall. 1.3645 0.04220 203 142 48 13
750 People tell me I'm quite a catch. 1.3645 0.04220 203 142 48 13
751 Ain't no bigger fish to fry than me, pal. 1.3645 0.04220 203 142 48 13
752 Fish out of water? No, I’m a fish out of bourbon. Now pour me another! 1.3645 0.03920 203 137 58 8
753 If my wife calls, I’m not here. She doesn’t like my getting tanked. 1.3645 0.04220 203 142 48 13
754 Sometimes I really do feel that I need a bicycle. 1.3645 0.04445 203 146 40 17
755 So, first off, how am I supposed to ‘walk’ into a bar? 1.3645 0.04162 203 141 50 12
756 Ten billion years of evolution and I still can’t frickin’ walk! 1.3641 0.04579 184 131 39 14
757 I'm very old school. 1.3641 0.04447 184 129 43 12
758 Say it and you Die. 1.3641 0.04707 184 133 35 16
759 It was the worm that caught my attention at first, but now I'm hooked on tequila. 1.3641 0.04337 195 137 45 13
760 ...and make it dry this time 1.3636 0.04170 198 137 50 11
761 Sheesh, not all mackerels are holy. 1.3632 0.04246 201 141 47 13
762 This stuff goes right through me. 1.3632 0.04305 201 142 45 14
763 I'm not eating tonight, afraid of getting caught. 1.3632 0.04128 201 139 51 11
764 I'm outta water. 1.3632 0.04246 201 141 47 13
765 I’m telling you, the hook was this big. 1.3632 0.04475 201 145 39 17
766 I’d like one for my baby, and one more for the roe. 1.3632 0.04246 201 141 47 13
767 She got the castle in the divorce 1.3632 0.04305 201 142 45 14
768 I just wanna get tanked. 1.3632 0.04128 201 139 51 11
769 Yeah, I’m the one that got away! 1.3632 0.04285 190 132 47 11
770 I'm going to need a bigger glass. 1.3626 0.04198 182 124 50 8
771 Is it red or white that goes with fish? 1.3622 0.04559 185 132 39 14
772 So Aquaman gets top billing and a cut of the gross. Me? Union minimum. 1.3622 0.04559 185 132 39 14
773 You do realize it’s physically impossible to drown my sorrows. 1.3618 0.04153 199 138 50 11
774 Actually Mario, I feel like carp. 1.3618 0.04332 199 141 44 14
775 So I told the genie I'd make one more wish just for the "hell of it", but he heard "halibut". 1.3618 0.04448 199 143 40 16
776 I thought this was a wet bar! 1.3618 0.04091 199 137 52 10
777 I am the story 1.3618 0.04091 199 137 52 10
778 Hey, I would be home now if I wanted to drown my sorrows! 1.3618 0.04153 199 138 50 11
779 Well what did you expect? Of course I drink like a fish. 1.3617 0.04379 188 132 44 12
780 I'm telling you, the fisherman was only this tall. Maybe seven inches, tops. Craziest thing I've ever seen. 1.3604 0.04419 197 141 41 15
781 What?! This isn't a wet bar? 1.3604 0.04240 197 138 47 12
782 I'll just have my usual, sex on the beach. 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
783 That's drink AS a fish. 1.3604 0.04535 197 143 37 17
784 Where did you think the expression "Drinks like a fish" came from? 1.3604 0.04240 197 138 47 12
785 That’s highly offensive. How would you like it if I said you drink like a human? 1.3604 0.04478 197 142 39 16
786 Back in the day, a fish could get a drink in this place without the third degree. 1.3604 0.04360 197 140 43 14
787 And no, I did not sleep with Luca Brasi. 1.3604 0.04592 197 144 35 18
788 ...so she says, You never take me anywhere...we just swim around in circles and I'm like, Circles? - it's a square glass pool....and she's like.... 1.3600 0.04196 200 140 48 12
789 You try watching all your friends get flushed and see how you cope. 1.3600 0.04314 200 142 44 14
790 So he trolled me for a week thinking I was a grouper! 1.3590 0.04267 195 137 46 12
791 So then Kafka said to me ... 1.3590 0.04328 195 138 44 13
792 No. Sagittarius. 1.3590 0.04449 195 140 40 15
793 Would you happen to have a spare bathtub I could crash in? 1.3590 0.04508 195 141 38 16
794 Tequila summer cocktail, please. Leave the worm. 1.3590 0.04389 195 139 42 14
795 Just one. I'm drying out. 1.3587 0.04438 184 130 42 12
796 Yeah I know.And I look like one too! 1.3587 0.04570 184 132 38 14
797 I”ll have a tequila and put the worm on a hook” 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
798 Looks like a fish, swims like a fish, drinks like a fish....buddy I must be a fish! 1.3587 0.04570 184 132 38 14
799 Say, you wouldn't know where I could find someone to hook up with? 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
800 Just give me anything with a couple of sardines in it. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
801 Salt the rim. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
802 Hey, mouth breather, how 'bout another round? 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
803 No, we met IN the net, and it was NOT a hook-up. 1.3587 0.04233 184 127 48 9
804 Don't tell me I've had enough. You're the guy talking to a fish! 1.3587 0.04438 184 130 42 12
805 Well, I like coming here because you DO water down the drinks. 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
806 No plastic straws 1.3586 0.04516 198 144 37 17
807 You try paying for a private school. 1.3586 0.04342 198 141 43 14
808 I only drink for the oxygen. 1.3586 0.04342 198 141 43 14
809 There were too many fish in the sea... 1.3586 0.04459 198 143 39 16
810 No, I won't stop carping about the environment. It's who I am. 1.3575 0.04231 193 135 47 11
811 Two more shots, then I'll tell you about the time I met Moby Dick. 1.3575 0.04357 193 137 43 13
812 Listen, pal, I can always tell when someone's watering down my drinks! 1.3571 0.04668 182 132 35 15
813 The hook-up culture really doesn’t work for me. 1.3571 0.04469 182 129 41 12
814 Aquarius. You? 1.3571 0.04331 182 127 45 10
815 Listen pal, if you're not at the bar you're on the menu. 1.3571 0.04536 182 130 39 13
816 Yeah? Well you bartend like a human! 1.3571 0.04733 182 133 33 16
817 Being out of water is nothing. Why are YOU out of scotch?! 1.3571 0.04668 182 132 35 15
818 Float like a butterfly, drink like a fish. 1.3571 0.04469 182 129 41 12
819 Don't worry, pal, I'll just swim home. 1.3560 0.04193 191 133 48 10
820 Me? Just another koi meets girl, koi loses girl story. 1.3560 0.04630 191 140 34 17
821 And leave the bottle. I just got out of the tank. 1.3560 0.04322 191 135 44 12
822 I need water, lots of it, and a taxi to the river. 1.3560 0.04059 191 131 52 8
823 Give me one for my baby, and one for the roe. 1.3560 0.04747 191 142 30 19
824 I need a bicycle. 1.3557 0.04578 194 142 35 17
825 Are you serving the little goldfish snacks? 1.3556 0.04288 180 125 46 9
826 A Jesus fish, Gefilte fish, and Angelfish walk into a sand bar... 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
827 The truth is, I'm kind of afraid of drying out. 1.3556 0.04500 180 128 40 12
828 Make it a double. I've been totally underwater at work. 1.3553 0.04411 197 142 40 15
829 Do I want a straw!? Are you trying to kill me!? 1.3552 0.04582 183 132 37 14
830 Shark Week, Shark Week, Shark Week - what about Goldfish Week? 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
831 You shoulda seen the size of that fisherman! 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
832 I know what you're thinking and I already resent it. 1.3552 0.04582 183 132 37 14
833 I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like a fish out of water. 1.3552 0.04449 183 130 41 12
834 Sometimes I just feel like a fish out of water. 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
835 When my wife told me there were a lot more fish in the pond I knew it was over. 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
836 Of course I drink like a fish. 1.3552 0.04774 183 135 31 17
837 Look, sir, I've been way more tanked than this! 1.3552 0.04381 183 129 43 11
838 If I drank like a fish, do you think I'd be hanging out in this dive? 1.3551 0.04802 138 95 37 6
839 What do you mean you don't get it? The lobster was a ventriloquist. 1.3545 0.04219 189 132 47 10
840 My wife just left me and my business is underwater. 1.3543 0.05065 127 88 33 6
841 Yeah? Well, you drink like a little bald man. 1.3536 0.04547 181 130 38 13
842 No, I don't drink water! Fish have sex in it. 1.3526 0.04066 190 131 51 8
843 And I'll know if it's watered down. 1.3526 0.04267 190 134 45 11
844 In retrospect, I should NOT have taken the kids to see the sharks. 1.3526 0.03927 190 129 55 6
845 I'm a fish, what kind of handshake did you expect. 1.3523 0.04285 193 137 44 12
846 So my problem is, I can hold my liquor, I just can't hold my water. 1.3523 0.04530 193 141 36 16
847 …..no, I didn’t get the job. The guy said I had a weak handshake.” 1.3520 0.04369 179 126 43 10
848 I, too, was once peed on by a Russian. 1.3511 0.04489 188 136 38 14
849 Your sign lured me in. 1.3511 0.04227 188 132 46 10
850 ...and don’t water it down.... 1.3500 0.04624 160 113 38 9
851 They sent me a dead mobster wrapped in newspaper, like that's gonna scare me or somethin'. 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
852 Do you have something that goes well with fish? 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
853 If you see him, tell him the one that got away is looking for him. 1.3497 0.04301 183 129 44 10
854 So a catfish, a bass and a shark walk into a bar... 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
855 What’s your best water? 1.3497 0.04506 183 132 38 13
856 I can’t believe it, Jimmy. She left me for a Betta male. 1.3497 0.04506 183 132 38 13
857 I am not fishing for a compliment. I just want a drink. 1.3497 0.04439 183 131 40 12
858 "Let 'em try to drain the swamp! 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
859 It's sink or swim out there. 1.3497 0.04439 183 131 40 12
860 Bartender, call me a crab. 1.3497 0.04637 183 134 34 15
861 I just dare you to say it! I dare you! 1.3497 0.04572 183 133 36 14
862 Gills just wanna have fun 1.3497 0.04439 183 131 40 12
863 I also throw like a girl 1.3497 0.04159 183 127 48 8
864 What? You thought it was just an expression? 1.3497 0.04370 183 130 42 11
865 I’ll tell YOU when I’m loaded to the gills, friend. 1.3497 0.04370 183 130 42 11
866 So, what if I am sloshed to the gills? 1.3497 0.04231 183 128 46 9
867 I'm a cliché? That's rich coming from the mustached dive bartender doling out life advice to his lone customer. 1.3497 0.04506 183 132 38 13
868 The funny thing about drinking like a fish is that you can't ever drown your sorrows. 1.3495 0.04186 186 130 47 9
869 Luca Brasi says hello. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
870 Sigh. All my life, I have been a fish out of water. 1.3495 0.04890 186 141 25 20
871 You’re gonna love this one...A swordfish, a catfish, and a jellyfish walk into a bar... 1.3495 0.04646 186 137 33 16
872 ANOTHER ONE because 'carp diem!,' and all that. 1.3495 0.04322 186 132 43 11
873 Cut off?! I've been drinking like a fish since before you could swim. 1.3495 0.04389 186 133 41 12
874 People say I drink like a fish but they never consider that I identify as a horse! 1.3495 0.04455 186 134 39 13
875 Heavy on the water. 1.3495 0.04255 186 131 45 10
876 She said she just couldn’t see herself with someone who tested positive for PCBs. 1.3488 0.04405 172 121 42 9
877 How else do you think a herring gets pickled? 1.3481 0.04330 181 128 43 10
878 Are you telling me I can't drown my sorrows here? 1.3481 0.04671 181 133 33 15
879 Six more bourbon and waters, hold the bourbon. 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
880 No my name is not Wanda. I guess all fish look alike to you guys. 1.3481 0.04185 181 126 47 8
881 I don't care that his name is Amirror, he's been staring at me all night and I'm just drunk enough to say something. 1.3481 0.04736 181 134 31 16
882 I'm just looking for a hook up tonight 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
883 What do you mean it's time for me to 'dry out'? 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
884 I can do anything. Sometimes I just grab em by the gills. 1.3481 0.04671 181 133 33 15
885 I smoke like a chimney too! 1.3481 0.04671 181 133 33 15
886 I know I'm a good catch but lately a lot of creepy looking men keep trying to reel me in. 1.3481 0.04800 181 135 29 17
887 You should have seen the action I was getting when 'The Shape of Water' was out. 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
888 So I drink like a fish. You got a problem with that? 1.3481 0.04400 181 129 41 11
889 Do you have Absolute Worm? 1.3481 0.04330 181 128 43 10
890 Nobody is cutting me off until I get to that worm! 1.3481 0.04469 181 130 39 12
891 OK, just one more quick one before they start missing me at the bowl. 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
892 I'm not out of water. I'm out of gin! 1.3481 0.04604 181 132 35 14
893 I took one nap and my whole life was flushed down the toilet. 1.3481 0.04185 181 126 47 8
894 Don't mess with me. I just got out of the tank. 1.3481 0.04111 181 125 49 7
895 You'd drink like me too if you had 1,000 kids. 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
896 Look, pal, are you going to help me drown my troubles or not? 1.3481 0.04258 181 127 45 9
897 Another mescal and don't forget the worm this time! 1.3464 0.04137 179 124 48 7
898 Listen buddy, I had the orange complexion down a long time ago - but you don’t see me up at the crack of dawn to tweet about it. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
899 Ever since he drained the swamp, I've felt like a fish out of water." 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
900 Actually, I drink like an alcoholic. Now keep 'em comin'. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
901 Call me a cab, I shouldn't dive," 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
902 I drink like a fish therefore I am a fish! 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
903 You should have seen the guy I caught today. 1.3464 0.04358 179 127 42 10
904 Look, I'm a herring, dammit...and if I want to get pickled, I'm going to get pickled! 1.3464 0.04212 179 125 46 8
905 I'm hoping to meet someone who likes to throw 'em back 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
906 So you're a Pisces too! 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
907 They say I slept with Luca Brasi. 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
908 Oh, yeah? I bet you smoke like a chimney, baldy. 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
909 And at these prices, you won't get many more. 1.3464 0.04771 179 133 30 16
910 Go ahead, say it. I drink like a what? Go on, say it to my gills. 1.3464 0.04500 179 129 38 12
911 Then she tells me - there's plenty of you in the sea. 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
912 Yes, I drink like a fish, but I'm not getting hooked! 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
913 I'll have another water on the rocks, please, extra salt. 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
914 So then she goes, you look nothing like your profile and calls me a catfish. 1.3464 0.04569 179 130 36 13
915 So I said to the cop, "How could I possibly be texting and driving? I got no thumbs." 1.3464 0.04430 179 128 40 11
916 And don't water it down this time! 1.3464 0.04286 179 126 44 9
917 Listen buddy, I'm not hooked on anything 1.3464 0.04286 179 126 44 9
918 But if you teach a man how to be a fish, he can drink all day long every day. 1.3464 0.04638 179 131 34 14
919 If you won't let me drive home can I at least borrow your bicycle? 1.3464 0.04705 179 132 32 15
920 Look bud, I'd say my problem right now is I'm a fish outta whiskey 1.3464 0.04286 179 126 44 9
921 In fifty years, this whole city will be under water — and I'll be where you are, refusing YOU your seventh tequila! 1.3457 0.04350 188 135 41 12
922 Yeah, I swam with sharks once. It started me drinking" 1.3446 0.04163 177 123 47 7
923 ...and boom, the next day the sunken treasure is missing, Lulu’s floating upside-down over the bubbler, and I’ve got 500 babies to support and a case of ick like the world’s never seen. So don’t tell me I’ve had enough. 1.3446 0.04807 177 132 29 16
924 No, I don't like the Dolphins on Sunday. I think they're too smart for their own good. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
925 I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown fish? 1.3446 0.04388 177 126 41 10
926 I’m between ponds right now. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
927 You know what really pisses me off? When I hear someone say that he feels like a ‘fish out of water’. Like he could have even the tiniest clue what that feels like! 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
928 We're gonna need a bigger glass. 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
929 . . . my wife's sleeping with Jimmy Hoffa. 1.3446 0.04602 177 129 35 13
930 The priest and the rabbi couldn't make it. 1.3446 0.04388 177 126 41 10
931 Forget the tequila, just bring me the worm! 1.3446 0.04602 177 129 35 13
932 No, really...I’m the one that got away. 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
933 Make it quick, I don't have a lot of time. 1.3446 0.04314 177 125 43 9
934 I've only been out of school a week and already I'm hooked! 1.3446 0.04239 177 124 45 8
935 Fin and tonic, please. 1.3446 0.04314 177 125 43 9
936 Yes, I am a fish out of water! 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
937 Please. Not another Daryl Hannah story. 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
938 '...because I'm THIRSTY! Why the hell do YOU drink so much? 1.3446 0.04314 177 125 43 9
939 My problems started when I dropped out of school. 1.3446 0.04163 177 123 47 7
940 I'm hooked on this place. Your live streaming lured me in. 1.3446 0.04807 177 132 29 16
941 Why do I drink? Do you know what it's like to feel like a fish out of water? 1.3446 0.04460 177 127 39 11
942 Fish like a drink! 1.3446 0.04671 177 130 33 14
943 I used to be like a fish out of the water and now I just drink like a fish 1.3446 0.04532 177 128 37 12
944 Are you trying to tell me I'm washed up? 1.3444 0.04042 180 124 50 6
945 Keep ‘em coming. I’m getting stewed to the gills tonight. 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
946 I just wish they'd be more specific. I drink like a carp. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
947 I'm telling you, it was a think tank. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
948 Don’t judge me unti you’ve swam in the East River. 1.3429 0.04635 175 128 34 13
949 They're my gills and if I want to get stewed to them I will! 1.3429 0.04635 175 128 34 13
950 Oh cry me a river! 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
951 You really don't need to tell me what I drink like. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
952 So I says to the fishmonger- hey buddy, you want a piece of me? 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
953 We were all line caught in my day, none of this farming nonsense. 1.3429 0.04564 175 127 36 12
954 Whadd'ya mean, you're outa water? I'm the one that's outa water. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
955 I am aware of the irony, but I would like a dry martini. 1.3429 0.04267 175 123 44 8
956 So I drink like a fish. What's your point? 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
957 I know. A fish swims into a concrete wall. Dam. 1.3429 0.04635 175 128 34 13
958 Don't sweat it. I have a designated swimmer outside. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
959 It's Piscean, not "pissing." 1.3429 0.04418 175 125 40 10
960 It’s the only way to keep my mercury levels down. 1.3429 0.04706 175 129 32 14
961 Maybe I drink like an alcoholic, Karl? Has it every crossed your mind to say that, Karl? Has it?! 1.3429 0.04706 175 129 32 14
962 Yes, and I eat like a bird. Got a problem with that? 1.3429 0.04189 175 122 46 7
963 This has always been my favorite watering hole. 1.3429 0.04492 175 126 38 11
964 Then he said "Gail, you drink like a fish!" So I ate the bastard. 1.3422 0.04489 187 137 36 14
965 I may be a fish out of water, but I know my scotch! 1.3422 0.04489 187 137 36 14
966 AS a fish. Drinking AS a fish, not LIKE one. 1.3422 0.04359 187 135 40 12
967 I'm the only one who graduated. 1.3416 0.04587 161 115 37 9
968 You better hope these drinks are watered down. 1.3410 0.04741 173 128 31 14
969 ... then she got pregnant and I had to drop out of school... 1.3410 0.04295 173 122 43 8
970 There's nothing worse than feeling like a fish out of vodka. 1.3409 0.04470 176 127 38 11
971 A dive bar’s a dive bar, Fred. Just pour the shots. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
972 So then she says to me, 'A real man would have made it upstream.' 1.3392 0.04402 171 122 40 9
973 Correction: There WERE a lot of fish in the Sea. 1.3392 0.04243 171 120 44 7
974 So I told her "I date only wild caught." 1.3392 0.04402 171 122 40 9
975 I'm home sick. Do you have anything that has the faint taste of Oil, with a slight background of Pesticides and Plastic on the rocks? 1.3392 0.04777 171 127 30 14
976 You know, 'Thank God it's Friday' is a saying I never use. 1.3392 0.04479 171 123 38 10
977 I don’t live to drink, I drink to live. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
978 Don’t tell me when I need to scale back. 1.3392 0.04323 171 121 42 8
979 Yeah, she’s at her mother’s place in the East River. I told her I’d be home by fall. 1.3392 0.04704 171 126 32 13
980 Why yes, that's exactly how I drink! What did you expect? 1.3391 0.04501 174 126 37 11
981 I'm trying to cut back. I drink like a fish. 1.3391 0.04787 174 130 29 15
982 And another thing, I'm sick of people calling things fishy... 1.3391 0.04351 174 124 41 9
983 She left me for a flounder. Can you believe it? A flounder! 1.3386 0.05270 127 92 27 8
984 So, I said to him, "No, you go jump in the lake." 1.3373 0.04352 169 120 41 8
985 I'll decide when I'm tanked. 1.3373 0.04352 169 120 41 8
986 Shot of tequila, please. Extra worm. 1.3372 0.04302 172 122 42 8
987 Hey! I’m outta water! 1.3372 0.04753 172 128 30 14
988 Ya. Ya. "Drink like a fish". I get it. Do I make fun of your nose? 1.3363 0.05707 113 83 22 8
989 I fell for her hook, line, and sinker...and then I caught her spawning with someone else. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
990 ...believe you me- having that guy in the White House doesn't work for me either. 1.3354 0.04401 161 114 40 7
991 Scotch and water, Laddie! I just swum in from Loch Ness. 1.3354 0.04262 164 115 43 6
992 Ever since I moved to this city I feel just like a fish out of water. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
993 No! really, so a fish walks into a bar... 1.3353 0.04997 167 127 24 16
994 Listen, pal - I know every dive around. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
995 Of course I want another, I’ve got a reputation to keep. 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
996 It really should be 'drink AS a fish' 1.3353 0.04699 167 123 32 12
997 One more and I'm calling my designated diver. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
998 Gimme four more: I want to get tanked tonight. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
999 Tonight I want to drink like a man. 1.3353 0.04543 167 121 36 10
1000 So, how'd a guy like you end up working in an underwater bar? 1.3353 0.04622 167 122 34 11
1001 There's a reason it's a cliche. 1.3353 0.04511 173 126 36 11
1002 Just water, please. and make it a double. 1.3353 0.04436 173 125 38 10
1003 Don't tell me what I drink like. 1.3353 0.04938 173 132 24 17
1004 As you can see, I do. 1.3353 0.04585 173 127 34 12
1005 Of course I'm thirsty. I'm a fish out of water. 1.3353 0.04511 173 126 36 11
1006 Let me guess - one of those koi meets girl, koi loses girl stories? 1.3353 0.04800 173 130 28 15
1007 Another one for the halibut. 1.3353 0.04585 173 127 34 12
1008 Make it a double, my wife left me and hooked up with a fisherman. 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
1009 I get that all the time, but I really drink more like a lobster. 1.3333 0.04393 156 110 40 6
1010 If I have a drinking problem, then you have a breathing problem. 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
1011 Nothing for me, I am drying out. 1.3333 0.04441 168 121 38 9
1012 Sure, he threw me back in the water but it was still traumatic. 1.3333 0.03930 168 115 50 3
1013 For the record, I drink because I’m Catholic 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1014 No, I am not too drunk to swim. 1.3333 0.04193 168 118 44 6
1015 I know, I’m a stereotype 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
1016 Listen, pal, I hear enough carping at home. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1017 So: a salmon, a herring and a cod swim into a bar. 1.3333 0.04360 168 120 40 8
1018 Some people live to drink, but I got to drink too live, know what I'm saying? 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
1019 You don't see many fish in this bar? At these prices, I'm not surprised. 1.3333 0.04360 168 120 40 8
1020 I drink AS a fish. 1.3333 0.04656 165 121 33 11
1021 I was sent here to discuss this plastic straw situation. 1.3333 0.04663 147 105 35 7
1022 No, I don't have to worry about drinking and driving, I have a bicycle. 1.3333 0.04889 165 124 27 14
1023 I was a red fish, she was a blue fish. At any other time, we could’ve made it work. 1.3333 0.04360 168 120 40 8
1024 I'll have another water. 1.3333 0.04107 162 112 46 4
1025 One tequila, leave the worm. 1.3333 0.04339 174 125 40 9
1026 ...and she had the nerve to say, ‘There are plenty of fish in the sea!’ 1.3333 0.04889 165 124 27 14
1027 I never used to feel like a fish out of water. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1028 Listen! I don't care who you think I am, the name is Wanda! 1.3333 0.04360 168 120 40 8
1029 If you pour me another, I’ll slip you a fin. 1.3333 0.04415 174 126 38 10
1030 My old lady's been crabby all day. 1.3333 0.03616 171 114 57 0
1031 That's because I AM a fish. 1.3333 0.04412 165 118 39 8
1032 Yeah, well, you tend bar like a bartender. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1033 Aw, c'mon - just one more for the river.... 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
1034 Of course I want the worm in my tequila! 1.3333 0.04599 168 123 34 11
1035 I'm starting to think my sorrows can't be drowned. 1.3333 0.04812 165 123 29 13
1036 Another Tequila ...and this time don't forget the worm! 1.3333 0.04656 165 121 33 11
1037 Long story short, turns out she was a catfish. 1.3333 0.04599 168 123 34 11
1038 so you're telling me that these so called "chefs", cut up my friends and place them on top of sticky rice? 1.3333 0.04412 165 118 39 8
1039 What do you mean I don't have a leg to stand on! 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
1040 I'll have have 50 galllons of water with a twist of lemon. 1.3333 0.04932 135 97 31 7
1041 That's right, I'm the one that got away. 1.3333 0.04441 168 121 38 9
1042 Well, at these prices,you won't get many more. 1.3333 0.04676 168 124 32 12
1043 You got any of those little crackers...oh...what are they called? 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
1044 I've been hooked on worse things. 1.3333 0.04576 165 120 35 10
1045 Give me my keys back! I swear I'm not driving! 1.3333 0.04486 156 111 38 7
1046 Do I want a splash of water in my drink? What's water? 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
1047 And then she said,"You're not the only fish in the sea." 1.3333 0.04751 168 125 30 13
1048 "He was about six feet tall. Weighed maybe two hundred pounds. It took three of us to reel him in. We were all too busy to get a photo. He managed to slip away. Got into his car and drove off. That’s the absolute truth. I swear it." 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
1049 There ARE a lot of fish in the sea, but that hasn’t really worked in my favor. 1.3314 0.04445 172 125 37 10
1050 If the fishwife calls, I’m not here. 1.3313 0.04787 166 124 29 13
1051 ...and she said she was pescatarian 1.3313 0.04390 166 119 39 8
1052 The date was going great,until she said she was pescatarian 1.3313 0.04390 166 119 39 8
1053 I’ve a scaled back, alright. Just not on my drinking. 1.3313 0.04632 166 122 33 11
1054 Water. Make it a double 1.3313 0.04711 166 123 31 12
1055 Yeah,yeah, and if I had thumbs I’d smoke like a chimney too! Just clam up and keep ‘em coming! 1.3313 0.04553 166 121 35 10
1056 Well it's still better for me than that crap you pour in the ocean! 1.3313 0.04938 166 126 25 15
1057 How many more shots until I reach that worm? 1.3313 0.04472 166 120 37 9
1058 Scotch and hold the water. 1.3313 0.04390 166 119 39 8
1059 I’m meeting someone who caught me on line. 1.3313 0.04527 163 118 36 9
1060 No, you should go jump in the lake! 1.3313 0.04442 163 117 38 8
1061 Of course I'm a fish out of water That's why I need a drink 1.3313 0.04442 163 117 38 8
1062 Just a little Cherry Heering. I'm scaling back. 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
1063 And the cop said... okay, okay, get this... it was because I looked "fishy" 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1064 Me, I've always seen myself as a small-pond type of guy. 1.3313 0.04087 163 113 46 4
1065 You ever heard about the "one who got away"? Well, you're lookin' at him, pal! 1.3313 0.04527 163 118 36 9
1066 The worst part wasn't that she was a Fisherman it was that she was a Republican.. 1.3313 0.04850 163 122 28 13
1067 It’s this or school 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1068 Vodka martini, not too dry. Side of anchovies. 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
1069 Oil my gills, pal. 1.3313 0.04442 163 117 38 8
1070 Wait, how big did the guy say I was? 1.3313 0.04356 163 116 40 7
1071 I swam here from Flint...Give me your dirtiest martini. 1.3313 0.04610 163 119 34 10
1072 I’m making progress. I used to smoke like a chimney. 1.3313 0.04268 163 115 42 6
1073 No, I should not be in school. And yes, I drink like a fish. 1.3313 0.03799 163 110 52 1
1074 I thought this was a hook up bar! 1.3312 0.04612 154 111 35 8
1075 Salt water, neat. And keep 'em coming. 1.3308 0.05198 133 98 26 9
1076 My wife said I should go back to school, but I was out of my depth. 1.3301 0.05412 103 73 26 4
1077 Sand dollars are a legitimate currency! 1.3295 0.04026 173 121 47 5
1078 Oh sure, there are PLENTY of other fish in the sea if you're into sharks and suckers." 1.3293 0.04334 164 117 40 7
1079 Not too dry, please. 1.3293 0.04247 164 116 42 6
1080 What'd ya mean--your don't validate bicycle parking? 1.3293 0.04824 164 123 28 13
1081 I drink like a fish? Is that a bad thing?? 1.3293 0.04247 164 116 42 6
1082 Water on the rocks, please. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
1083 Technically we don't drink, we inhale. 1.3293 0.04504 164 119 36 9
1084 Just say it. I drink like a fish. 1.3293 0.04504 164 119 36 9
1085 I was born in Chernobyl. Why? 1.3293 0.05125 164 127 20 17
1086 That's racist. 1.3293 0.04504 164 119 36 9
1087 No, you stop giving ME the fish-eye. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
1088 No matter how hard I try, I can't drown my sorrows. 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
1089 I've been feeling out of my element. 1.3293 0.04420 164 118 38 8
1090 Another tequila, extra worm. 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
1091 And, no, I am not supposed to be in school! 1.3293 0.04667 164 121 32 11
1092 Look buddy, I don't tell you how to breath! 1.3293 0.04586 164 120 34 10
1093 I admit that I drink like a fish, but I'm trying to scale back. 1.3293 0.04504 164 119 36 9
1094 And there I was again, waking up in some random fishbowl." 1.3293 0.04420 164 118 38 8
1095 Take that back! You have no idea what it means to be tanked! 1.3293 0.04334 164 117 40 7
1096 Mark Rothko and I used to close this bar when you were in knee waders. 1.3292 0.04644 161 118 33 10
1097 Carl, "playing hooky" has two meanings for me. 1.3292 0.04808 161 120 29 12
1098 And you bartend like a human. Two can play that game, pal. 1.3292 0.04560 161 117 35 9
1099 Hook me up with my usual 1.3292 0.04474 161 116 37 8
1100 No thank you. I have enough straws in my stomach already. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1101 Give me one for the river. 1.3292 0.04808 161 120 29 12
1102 Oh yeah? Well, you make drinks like a bartender. 1.3292 0.04808 161 120 29 12
1103 I told you I don’t know Wanda. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1104 No, I didn't bring photo ID. 1.3292 0.04560 161 117 35 9
1105 I’ll go with a white wine. 1.3292 0.04644 161 118 33 10
1106 I'm the bass player? 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1107 No, I'm not still in school 1.3292 0.04474 161 116 37 8
1108 Oh yeah, I have a real fish tail for you. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1109 Sashimi with shumbody elsh. 1.3292 0.04727 161 119 31 11
1110 I never fit in with the clientele in this place...sometimes I feel like a...oh, never mind. 1.3291 0.04439 158 113 38 7
1111 I'm warning you upfront; any cracks about 'drinking like a fish' will be included in the Yelp review. 1.3291 0.04617 158 115 34 9
1112 I get it, I'm a vegetarian too. 1.3290 0.04001 155 106 47 2
1113 Lemme get this straight...You don't serve Bass Ale or you don't serve basses? 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1114 Well yeah, I do. And I eat like one too. 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1115 Water please! No ice! 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
1116 What I really need is a bicycle. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1117 I can't say no. I'm hooked. 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
1118 So much for drowning my sorrows. 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1119 That's because I AM a fish, nimrod. 1.3289 0.05094 152 115 24 13
1120 Bicycle? No, I took an Uber. 1.3289 0.04611 149 107 35 7
1121 I’ve been trying to scale back. 1.3289 0.04512 149 106 37 6
1122 Vodka, yes! Caviar, NO! 1.3289 0.04708 149 108 33 8
1123 Well, drunken fish happen to be extremely popular at Japanese establishments. 1.3289 0.04611 149 107 35 7
1124 What do you mean that you don’t serve fish? 1.3281 0.04974 128 92 30 6
1125 Can you call me a crab? 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
1126 What makes you think I'm a Pisces? 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
1127 He said I'm a cold fish? That dude is a total octopus! 1.3272 0.04275 162 115 41 6
1128 Did you hear the one about the fisherman who got away? 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
1129 If you lived in a glass house with nothing but a plastic castle you' d be drunk too. 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
1130 What do you mean, “you don’t serve fish?” This is a seafood restaurant! 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
1131 Stop me if you've heard this one...A salmon, a tuna, and a rabbi walk into a bar... 1.3272 0.04862 162 122 27 13
1132 Sorry about carping all night! 1.3272 0.04940 162 123 25 14
1133 Yes, and I smell like a fish too. 1.3272 0.04536 162 118 35 9
1134 I know that look, everyone in your world drinks like a fish! 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
1135 well, how else did you expect me to drink? 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
1136 Cut me off? I already told you I’m not driving home. 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
1137 Whisky, hold the water. 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
1138 If I hear one more say I drink like a fish, they're going to be swimming with the fishes. 1.3272 0.04783 162 121 29 12
1139 Pray, what makes you think I'm a hooker? 1.3272 0.04364 162 116 39 7
1140 It says you serve goldfish....and you're saying those are just little crackers? 1.3270 0.04232 159 112 42 5
1141 'What's a fish doing in my bar?' I think a better question is, why is G Gordon Liddy my bartender? 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1142 I used to be quite the catch before I lost all my hair, you know. 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1143 I escaped only to get tanked again. 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1144 Please, no 'fish out of water', jokes, okay?" 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1145 I've had a lot of dates but seldom any long-term relationships since 'catch and release' . 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1146 Yes, I'm drinking like a fish but I have a designated diver. 1.3270 0.04846 159 119 28 12
1147 Bad day. They caught Charlie and sent him to the canner. 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1148 Less Scotch, more water. 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1149 And why, exactly, shouldn't I drink like a fish? 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1150 Yo Mr. Clean, whose youse callin' chicken of the sea? 1.3270 0.04325 159 113 40 6
1151 Sometimes I feel like I just don’t belong. 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1152 Shot of tequila with a worm in it, hold the tequila." 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1153 Never mind how I got here, just get me a wet martini 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1154 Don't freakin' ask me if I drink like a fish, OK. 1.3270 0.04679 159 117 32 10
1155 Wrong. I drink AS a fish. 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1156 Yeah, well I might drink like a fish, but you pour like a nun! 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1157 OK, wise guy; if these drinks aren't watered down, then how am I still breathing? 1.3270 0.04232 159 112 42 5
1158 A mermaid on the rocks, please. 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1159 Give it to me wet with a little plastic castle. 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1160 What did he mean by ‘like a fish’? 1.3270 0.04763 159 118 30 11
1161 Set 'em up Joe. I feel like a fish out of water. 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1162 What've you got to wet my whistle? 1.3270 0.05008 159 121 24 14
1163 When do the hot mermaids show up around here? 1.3270 0.04593 159 116 34 9
1164 They told me this is where the groupers hang out. 1.3270 0.04416 159 114 38 7
1165 I felt so out of place. Like a...what's the saying? Trump out of Mar-a-Lago? 1.3270 0.04505 159 115 36 8
1166 You say that like it’s a bad thing. 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
1167 I heard this is the best watering hole in town 1.3264 0.04389 144 101 39 4
1168 Do you ever feel like a fish out of water? 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1169 Everybody says “I drink like a fish”. Now watch how it’s done. 1.3252 0.04596 163 120 33 10
1170 ...And YOU drink like a white Russian! 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1171 And it better be dry. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1172 So a guppy, a mako, and a halibut walk into a bar." 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1173 I'm dying to get back into my office pool. 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1174 And then he had the audacity to tell me 'there's plenty of fish in the sea.' 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1175 I'll start out with some water, no ice. 1.3248 0.04259 157 111 41 5
1176 Yes, I AM trying to get tanked. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1177 She kept the bowl, the guppies...even the treasure chest with the bubbles. I’ve got nothing left! 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1178 It was too small--I felt like I couldn't breathe there. 1.3248 0.04259 157 111 41 5
1179 Tanked? Hello no, I'm not tanked. 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1180 So, are you a Pisces? 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1181 Can you call me a water taxi? 1.3248 0.04354 157 112 39 6
1182 And then I realized it wasn't really me he wanted. It was sushi. 1.3248 0.04447 157 113 37 7
1183 It was the worm in my first tequila that hooked me. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1184 What do you mean "no shoes, no shirt, no service?" 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1185 Quit saying the answer to all my problems is to “go back to school.” 1.3248 0.04447 157 113 37 7
1186 And you drink like a human. So what's your point? 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1187 I'm not out of water. I'm out of scotch. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1188 You know, the bottle with the worm inside it. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1189 You’re the one that got me hooked 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1190 I ‘drink like a fish,’ huh? Well, pal, I’m giving you a very poor Kelp review. 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1191 Salt water—straight up. Make it a double. 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1192 WATER !!! 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1193 I don’t know, I guess I just feel like a fish out of water. 1.3248 0.04967 157 119 25 13
1194 Make it a double. I caught my wife sleeping with Luca Brasi. 1.3248 0.04884 157 118 27 12
1195 oxygenated water on the rocks, please 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1196 Gimme that drink with the little worm in it. 1.3248 0.04447 157 113 37 7
1197 Yeah, six glasses of water, you've got a problem with that? 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1198 Then for my third and final wish I said: "I'd like to swim like a fish..." 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1199 I have a date tonight with a beautiful trout. What wine would you recommend? Red or white? 1.3248 0.04884 157 118 27 12
1200 I'm gonna get tanked tonight. 1.3248 0.04627 157 115 33 9
1201 Three days. You don't smell so good yourself. Now gimmie that drink! 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1202 Carp, I can‘t find my wallet. 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1203 Whatda ya mean, you don't serve fish? 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1204 What do you mean... you have to Cod me? 1.3248 0.04714 157 116 31 10
1205 I do not! 1.3248 0.04538 157 114 35 8
1206 Do I LOOK I’m the designated driver?! 1.3248 0.04884 157 118 27 12
1207 You'd drink like a fish too if you were me. 1.3245 0.04750 151 111 31 9
1208 Really? ‘Sorry, Charlie?’ 1.3241 0.04979 145 108 27 10
1209 D’ya have ice, up where I’m from, it’s all melted 1.3230 0.04794 161 121 28 12
1210 I’m on a blind date. Hope I’ll recognize her when she arrives. 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
1211 Just a little something to tide me over. 1.3230 0.04458 161 117 36 8
1212 I feel like I'm always swimming upstream 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1213 For a thousand years we've been moving from the ocean onto land. I just like the retro look. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1214 I see “fresh poached salmon” is on tonight’s menu. Tell the chef that no amount of booze is going to get me into his little “jacuzzi”. 1.3228 0.04858 158 119 27 12
1215 Waddya expect? I AM a fish. 1.3228 0.05021 158 121 23 14
1216 I just wanted a taste but, before I knew it, I was hooked. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1217 Sure, I come here to meet women, but it’s always the same: ‘I like you, but you’re too coy.’ 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1218 ...and worse,she fell for his act hook,line and sinker! 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1219 You want a sawbuck for each shot? All I got is a fin. 1.3226 0.04287 155 110 40 5
1220 Say that again....I dare you! I drink like a WHAT...? 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1221 Yes, as a matter of fact, I did come here on my bicycle. You're starting to sound a lot like my ex. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1222 Well why would I drink any other way? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1223 Plastics, they said. Go into plastics. 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
1224 Who cares if I'm outta water, as long as you're not outta beer! 1.3226 0.04838 155 116 28 11
1225 Nearly got myself killed over a hook-up 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1226 Enough already with the pickled herring jokes! 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1227 All the free scotch I can drink, and I'll take you to the sunken treasure. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1228 Just water, I’m the designated diver. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1229 I don't need a leg to stand on. 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1230 I’ve got 100 clams on the Marlins. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1231 Not too dry, if you please. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1232 Whadya mean, you're surprised to see a fish? Where do you think the one who got away goes after he gets away? 1.3226 0.04751 155 115 30 10
1233 ... and then he promised to drain the swamp ... don't get me started on what happened next. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1234 So you're telling me I could've gotten water from that tap the whole time?! 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1235 Never mind what I drink like. 1.3226 0.04087 155 108 44 3
1236 I want to drink till I'm fish-faced. 1.3226 0.04924 155 117 26 12
1237 If you want to be precise, it’s a simile that has become an idiom. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1238 Oh, I know when a drink's been watered all right. 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1239 So, this fisherman goes into a bar ... 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1240 If I wanted water I’d have stayed in the ocean 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1241 Water, on the rocks ... with salt 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1242 And you know what? There actually aren't that many other fish in the sea. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1243 After six drinks, you humans nearly look spawnable. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1244 No, buddy. I haven't hit my limit! 1.3226 0.04384 155 111 38 6
1245 No more. I’m the designated diver. 1.3226 0.04478 155 112 36 7
1246 Why would I want to DRY martini ? 1.3226 0.03877 155 106 48 1
1247 I’m tanked. 1.3226 0.04571 155 113 34 8
1248 Can you imagine what it's like to hear about "sleeping with the fishes" and then find out that it's not what you thought it was? 1.3226 0.04662 155 114 32 9
1249 I’m a Bar-a-cuda. Why else would I be here? 1.3217 0.04613 143 103 34 6
1250 I'm telling you--since the movie won, women won't leave me alone! 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1251 Don't cut me off, man, I have to stay hydrated. 1.3208 0.04490 159 116 35 8
1252 On the rocks? Are you trying to kill me?! 1.3208 0.04309 159 114 39 6
1253 Have I ever told you about the 6ft. 8inch fisherman that I knocked out of his boat? 1.3208 0.04120 159 112 43 4
1254 ..and no salt on the rim. I've had enough for a lifetime. 1.3208 0.04215 159 113 41 5
1255 Just keep the drinks coming...I'll let you know when I need to come up for air. 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
1256 I'll take Sex on the Beach with the Catch of the Day. 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
1257 Got any of those crackers that look like my cousin Wanda? 1.3208 0.04309 159 114 39 6
1258 I didn't say I am an alcoholic. I said I'm an aquaholic. 1.3208 0.04748 159 119 29 11
1259 I'll keep the mob out. They never want to drink with the fishes. 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
1260 Forget Moby Dick! It was Ahab’s obsession destroyed the ship. 1.3208 0.04215 159 113 41 5
1261 Bass Ale, please. 1.3208 0.04913 159 121 25 13
1262 All she ever does is carp carp carp at me. 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
1263 ... and that's when I found her spawning with another guy! 1.3208 0.04022 159 111 45 3
1264 A little less dry this time, ok? 1.3208 0.04913 159 121 25 13
1265 Ok. I'm out of my depth here, but... 1.3208 0.04490 159 116 35 8
1266 I’ll have a scotch and water and hold the scotch. 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
1267 What makes you think I wanted a DRY martini? 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
1268 I am a fish out of water but I still have needs you know... 1.3208 0.04664 159 118 31 10
1269 Scotch rocks, and save the "drinks like a fish" crap. 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
1270 What kind of water do you have? 1.3208 0.04400 159 115 37 7
1271 I'm supposed to meet a rabbi and a priest here. 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
1272 I get that a lot.... 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1273 shot of water.....make that a double . 1.3203 0.04964 153 116 25 12
1274 I'll just have one for the roe. 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
1275 At this point I should warn you that I also pay like a fish. 1.3193 0.04605 166 124 31 11
1276 Yeah, I've heard the expression. Why do you ask ? 1.3191 0.04648 141 102 33 6
1277 No. If I drank like a fish, I wouldn't be using these glasses then, would I? 1.3191 0.04964 141 105 27 9
1278 So she has the nerve to say to me 'There are plenty of fish in the sea.'!' 1.3191 0.04648 141 102 33 6
1279 Gilly! Gilly! 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
1280 Water's for swimming, pal -- now hit me again. 1.3190 0.04326 163 118 38 7
1281 No, I did not walk in with the priest and the rabbi. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1282 And just why would I want one for the road? 1.3179 0.04344 151 108 38 5
1283 And just for your information, I do NOT drink like a fish. 1.3179 0.04916 151 114 26 11
1284 Just be thankful I don't "smoke like a chimney" too. 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
1285 I do play Koi, but only Off-Broadway" 1.3179 0.04444 151 109 36 6
1286 I suppose you expect me to drink like a fish? 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1287 Another round of chumtinis, my good man. 1.3179 0.04241 151 107 40 4
1288 I'll take the one with the worm in it. The whole bottle. 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
1289 I drink like MYSELF,ok!?! 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
1290 People think we're born with a two second memory, but I drink to forget. 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1291 and while we're at it, how the hell do people know how we drink in the first place? 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
1292 Skip the Mezcal. Just give me the worm. 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1293 They were wrong when they said I couldn't get bigger than the bowl. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1294 Do you take sand dollars? 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
1295 I'm telling you Stan its just "fish", that is the plural, and what's more, none of us are sleeping down there. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1296 I knew it! You're a Virgo - I'm a Double Pisces! 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1297 No, I get it. You were hoping I'd be a horse. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1298 For a fish out of water, hydration is the key! 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1299 And then she packed her bags and left with our 10,000 kids. 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
1300 Oh yeah? Well, I think YOU pour like a human! 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1301 Thank god, I thought this whole town was dry. 1.3179 0.04344 151 108 38 5
1302 Another water--and keep 'em coming! 1.3179 0.05005 151 115 24 12
1303 Actually, I drink like an overworked, unhappily married human. 1.3179 0.04136 151 106 42 3
1304 Just sparkling water for me. I have to swim home. 1.3179 0.04916 151 114 26 11
1305 All I've got left is a fin 1.3179 0.04344 151 108 38 5
1306 No,not like a fish. AS a fish. 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1307 So I looked right at her and said, ' don't be koi with me.' 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1308 Do you think I don’t know the difference between club soda, tonic water, seltzer, sparkling and tap water? I know my water, sir, and this is no Pellegrino! 1.3179 0.04444 151 109 36 6
1309 Hey, you know? I had to get out of Florida with all that toxic Red Tide. It changes you. Besides my friends are being washed up. 1.3179 0.04916 151 114 26 11
1310 Make mine a water and keep it coming! 1.3179 0.04916 151 114 26 11
1311 Don’t even go there. I’ve heard it a million times before. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1312 I'm just waiting for the rabbi and the priest to walk in" 1.3179 0.05093 151 116 22 13
1313 Swim a thousand miles and then die on the rocks? No siree... I'd rather die of scotch on the rocks! 1.3179 0.04444 151 109 36 6
1314 Fish-out-of-water jokes are not appreciated. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1315 Actually, make it a bubble. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1316 I know, I know ... like a fish... 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1317 If my wife calls, tell her I'm in the tank. 1.3179 0.04733 151 112 30 9
1318 Can you call the cops? Someone stole my bicycle! 1.3179 0.04826 151 113 28 10
1319 Shot of Mescal - leave the worm. 1.3179 0.04543 151 110 34 7
1320 No really tell me. How'd you know I drank so much? 1.3179 0.04639 151 111 32 8
1321 Don't worry, you'll find someone. There's plenty of humans on the land. 1.3176 0.04398 148 106 37 5
1322 No Bloody Marys, no sharks, capiche? 1.3176 0.04183 148 104 41 3
1323 I may drink like a fish, but you pour like a human. 1.3176 0.04292 148 105 39 4
1324 I promised her I'd drain the swamp, and she said, "Let me guess... you're just another bottom dwelling scum sucker out to seduce me". 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1325 Just get me something wet 1.3171 0.04390 164 120 36 8
1326 I don't know why, but I just feel like a fish out of water. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1327 ...and THEN she said, “Well you know that there are other fish in the sea!”. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1328 Oh, I do? Well, you..you..pour like a bartender. 1.3165 0.04336 139 98 38 3
1329 You wouldn't believe the kind of kelp I put up with. 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1330 GIVE ME ONE MORE FOR THE RIVER 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
1331 And that Paul Manatee . . . a good family guy . . . a decent manatee . . . total railroad job. #sad. 1.3158 0.04697 133 96 32 5
1332 Leave the bottle. I drink like a fish. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1333 No more on line dating for me, Barkeep! It's all about bait and switch! 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1334 One large bowl of water, and make it snappy. I’m dyin’ here. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1335 I drink like a fish. Like I never heard that one before. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1336 My wife left me...Says I drink like a fish. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1337 Invasive species? Invasive species? I’ll have you know I was spawned just upstream from here! 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1338 I'll take that as a compliment 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
1339 Oh yeah? Well you sweat like a pig! 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1340 Make it a double. I drink like a fish . 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1341 ...and she laid all of these 100’s of eggs and I said “No Way! Those don’t even look like me.”, so next week we are doing the Povich show. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1342 How upscale is this place? 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1343 Both 75% water. We're not so different, you and I ;)" 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1344 And then he has the nerve to throw me back! 1.3154 0.04268 149 106 39 4
1345 Sex in the Shoal please...with a sprig of seaweed. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1346 Could you put tops on them, I'm heading to a bash upstream 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1347 One more, then I have to get back to the school. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1348 If you were me, you'd drink like a fish too. 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1349 You're welcome to your opinion but I'm sure that I drink like a lawyer. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1350 I drink like a fish? How else am I supposed to drink, you specist bastard! 1.3154 0.05047 149 114 23 12
1351 Pay up by tomorrow or you’ll be swimming with me. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1352 One more Cutty Shark, neat. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1353 Since I joined the school I've been drinking like... well, you know. 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1354 Mescal, please. With the worm. 1.3154 0.04373 149 107 37 5
1355 Don't let evolution come between us,Adam! 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1356 The name's Gilbert, not Gill. 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1357 Water on the side, please 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1358 I'll take a fin and tonic, please. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1359 A fish goes into a bar. Have you heard that one? 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1360 I feel like a fish out of water. 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
1361 How about you don’t tell me ‘I drink like a fish” and I’ll lay off the Irish jokes!” 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
1362 Hey, I'm all about carpe diem. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1363 Hey man; is the snapper sittin’ in the booth with anyone? 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
1364 And if anyone asks for Mike Trout tell them you haven’t seen me. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1365 Something briny. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1366 Anyway I caught this child about three feet long, using just a candy cane bait, 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
1367 Water... No ice. 1.3154 0.04956 149 113 25 11
1368 Don’t you be Koi with me! 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1369 We are divorcing due to irreconcilable differences, he is just too shallow and shellfish. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1370 My wife thinks I'm at the Sunken Ship... 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1371 Nobody cared about us when they decided to drain the swamp! 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1372 How many more tequilas 'til I get to the worm? 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1373 Is this the sand bar? 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1374 Trust me, I know just how you feel Mac, school isn't for everyone. 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1375 Don't tell PETA I'm here. 1.3154 0.04161 149 105 41 3
1376 Say, did you hear the one about the Boston dame who wanted to get scrod. 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1377 So what was that all about - no shirt, no shoes , no service? 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1378 I used to be hooked, but I can control myself now. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1379 Don't tell me you are out of water! 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1380 The ironic thing is, fish don’t drink. 1.3154 0.04476 149 108 35 6
1381 Out of water I can handle. Out of scotch, no. 1.3154 0.04576 149 109 33 7
1382 I’ll take 12,000 more water cocktails. Hold the cocktail. 1.3154 0.04674 149 110 31 8
1383 So a carp, a mollusk and an octopus walked into a bar ... 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
1384 Drink, drink, drink...And I'm underwater on my home. 1.3151 0.04209 146 103 40 3
1385 I won't let you off the hook if you call me chum again. 1.3151 0.04209 146 103 40 3
1386 Of course I do! That's what I am! 1.3151 0.04428 146 105 36 5
1387 And none of your "like a fish" jokes. 1.3151 0.04095 146 102 42 2
1388 And when I proposed she carped at the idea. 1.3145 0.04004 159 112 44 3
1389 Joe, are you watering down my drink? 1.3145 0.03903 159 111 46 2
1390 So, I’ve heard you have bar flies... 1.3143 0.04975 140 105 26 9
1391 I'd set you up with a friend but there's a catch. 1.3143 0.04655 140 102 32 6
1392 ... and try not to drown it this time. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1393 Now you know exactly what they mean. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1394 Hey, can you recommend a white that goes with fish? 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1395 Of course I drink like a fish. What's your point, buddy? 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1396 A Bass Ale, please, barman ! 1.3129 0.04296 147 105 38 4
1397 You are what you eat. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1398 ... and then she said, ‘Don’t worry. There are lots of other fish in the sea.’ Like, how does that help me? I live in friggin’ Cleveland!! 1.3129 0.04296 147 105 38 4
1399 So I swam and I swam right over that dam. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1400 That's very funny, "a fish out of water", like I haven't heard that before"... 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1401 I'm not like a fish out of water. I am a fish out of water. 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
1402 Who are you to tell me that I should scale back 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1403 If anyone tells you there are plenty of fish in the sea, they’re lying. 1.3129 0.04186 147 104 40 3
1404 I'm ok to dive home. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1405 No, Bill, do you know what there are "plenty" of? Straws! 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1406 You think you got it tough Buddy? I can't even drown my sorrows! 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1407 What's that's supposed mean, anyway? Drink like a fish? What exactly does a fish drink like? Do all fish drink alike? Huh buddy? 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1408 Water’s probably a good idea. 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
1409 Yup, I'm the one that got away. 1.3129 0.05090 147 113 22 12
1410 My doctor advised more fluids... 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1411 Big fish, small pond...you know the story. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1412 Did you just ask me if I am 18 or over? 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1413 She told me there are other fish in the sea... 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1414 Well, at least I don't smoke like a chimney! 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1415 Your staring is weirding me out! 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1416 I was flushed as a child. So yeah, I drink. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1417 Give me a few more, buddy. I have a reputation to protect 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1418 Mind if I run a tab, I’m expecting a priest and a rabbi any minute. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1419 And now I wonder, what was so bad about the small pond? 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1420 Just found out my wife is sleeping with the fishes. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1421 I want a dry dirty water. An ounce of PCB, garnish of plastic, shaken not stirred. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1422 Bartender: We don't get many carp in here. Carp: At these prices, I can see why. 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
1423 You’re lucky, we only serve fish on Fridays. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1424 I down 1000 of gallons a day and you’re cutting me off after 8 ounces of bourbon? 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1425 Open tab please; I drink like a fish. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1426 A fish never walks into a bar 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1427 On the positive side, after the plastic surgery, I don't need clothes no more 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1428 Well, how else am I supposed to drink?" 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1429 Fifteen bucks? All I got is two fins. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1430 So what if I want some goldfish crackers? 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
1431 What do you mean she drinks like a fish? 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1432 ...and sprinkle some flakes on the top of that. 1.3129 0.04186 147 104 40 3
1433 No, I don’t need a straw! 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1434 Yeah? Well you sit wrapped in newspaper for three days and see how good you smell buddy! 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1435 ....and don't even get me started about the plastic. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1436 My 23,000 kids never write. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1437 I said dry gin, dammit. I don't care if it kills me. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1438 You’re right, it’s her loss: I’M the one that got away! 1.3129 0.04403 147 106 36 5
1439 Just a glass of water without my own crap in it, please. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1440 I’ve found Plenty of Fish to be the best dating site for me. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1441 Someone told me this is a watering hole? 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1442 Brilliant - who else would I "drink like"? 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1443 This is OK, but I do prefer the sand bar. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1444 Ok. So John the Baptist, Jacques Cousteau and Scott Pruitt walk into a bar... 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1445 Where is this "sea" that you speak of? 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1446 I heard this is a good place to hook up. 1.3129 0.04808 147 110 28 9
1447 Gin martini, brackish. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1448 A martini with an anchovy. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1449 And, no cracks about drowning my sorrows. 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1450 No I wouldn't rather have a Bass Ale, thank you. 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1451 You think fish vagina smells like people? 1.3129 0.05090 147 113 22 12
1452 Anything but water. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1453 So...then I says to this Geni... "you can't do that..just go ahead and try" 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1454 I may be a fish out of water but I'll be damned if I'm out of alcohol too. Keep 'em coming." 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1455 Everyone just assumed I drink like a fish. So I decided, what the heck, I'll start drinking like a fish. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1456 I dare you. I double dare you, Jonah. Tell me I drink like a fish one more time, and let's see what happens... 1.3129 0.04610 147 108 32 7
1457 Just a glass of salt water, please - I'm swimming. 1.3129 0.04998 147 112 24 11
1458 I drink like a fish. That's the best you got? 1.3129 0.04710 147 109 30 8
1459 And then at every meeting, they serve those damn Pepperidge Farm crackers. 1.3129 0.04507 147 107 34 6
1460 I think you've had enough. You're looking a little green around the gills. 1.3129 0.04904 147 111 26 10
1461 Have you read “Being Russian” by D.J. Trump”? 1.3125 0.04235 144 102 39 3
1462 Show me the collusion. 1.3125 0.04803 128 93 30 5
1463 And then I said, I'm just trying to be koi. 1.3121 0.04627 141 103 32 6
1464 Quit giving me that walleyed look... 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1465 I stumble around the room when I DON’T drink. 1.3111 0.04757 135 99 30 6
1466 Then I sez, "No! I don't drink LIKE a fish!!! 1.3111 0.04639 135 98 32 5
1467 The thing is, I just don't feel quite in my element anywhere anymore. 1.3111 0.05201 135 103 22 10
1468 I’m always attracted to the wrong guys. They lure me in with shiney bling then just keep tossing me back. 1.3111 0.04757 135 99 30 6
1469 She fell for me the moment she saw me - hook, line and sinker 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1470 Since she left I feel like a fish out of water 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1471 Just a splash, please. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1472 I’ll have another. I feel dehydrated. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1473 Why don't you put up the GONE FISHIN' sign, and we'll takle it from there? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1474 She hooks every boyfriend by fixing him a Grasshopper to drink, but I didn't take the bait. Most guys fall for it hook, line, and sinker. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1475 And for my third wish I said I wanted to be able drink like a fish without falling on my butt. So presto, no butt. 1.3103 0.05134 145 112 21 12
1476 Actually, I drink in moderation. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1477 I find your use of the phrase "drinks like a fish" to be both specist and demeaning. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1478 I thought I would take a gap year and see the world before I spawn. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1479 Haven't you heard of pickled Herring? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1480 I'm not like the other fishes 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1481 Whaddya' mean, "you don't serve fish here"? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1482 Have I got a story for you... 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1483 I tell you that man I caught was this short if he wasn't even shorter! 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1484 No alcohol, I don't want to get pickled. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1485 Tap water is fine, but can you put it in a really big glass? 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1486 I'M looking for Mr. Chips. 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1487 . . . and why isn't it a moose-out-of-water story? 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1488 You can't take my keys! I biked here. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1489 You're kidding? Out of water? 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1490 The rabbi and priest are right behind me. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1491 It’s a bit too dry for my taste 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1492 Back in my day, all we had to worry about was BP oil spills 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1493 Who wouldn't drink like a fish these days? 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
1494 What're you looking at? Where do you think the term DRINK LIKE A FISH came from?? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1495 You guessed it -- I'm the one that got away. 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1496 You look like you've never seen a fish out of water. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1497 I’ll have a Tuna Surprise, and no wise cracks. 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
1498 My bicycle left me and life’s just not the same. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1499 I'm a Pisces. What are you, a Leo? 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1500 We’ve adapted. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1501 Apparently, I drink like a human. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1502 I'll have what the fish in the back aquarium are having. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1503 Thanks for drink. Will a fin take care of it? 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1504 I’m not getting green around the gills- that’s just algae. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1505 Give me a river on the rocks. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1506 The swim-up bar was too crowded. 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1507 I first got hooked when I was a minnow. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1508 At least I won’t drown in my sorrows 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1509 I'm meeting a guy here; he said that he can hook me up. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1510 Hey, I'll drink the way nature intended, ok? 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1511 A little dry for my taste. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1512 OK - I'll try an Evian. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1513 I'm meeting Michael Avenatti to discuss my deposition. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1514 You’re out of water? No, I’m out of water. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1515 May I have a glass of water please? - a very large glass of water. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1516 She said she needed me like she needed a bicycle. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1517 No, I swear- this is not a Fish Story. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1518 I'm just trolling for a hook-up. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1519 Just one more-I had a bad day in school. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1520 Actually, it’s an idiom. The word “like” doesn’t automatically make it a simile. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1521 You got anything back there that'll wash down this fishy taste? 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1522 Of course I’m cold-blooded,” I tell her 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1523 CWater, straight up, room temperature, in a five gallon tank, as soon as possible 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1524 Keep the Perrier coming. I feel like a real fish out of water tonight! 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1525 Well, you pour like a human. 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1526 Hey pal, I said my wife was a “nice bass.” 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1527 Just something wet. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1528 I know what you're thinking, another fish-out-of-water story, right? 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1529 Right now what I need is a lot of water. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1530 Well, maybe if the service around here wasn't so slow, I wouldn't be out of water. 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
1531 ...and then he says the scales of justice are tilted for the rich. What does he know about scales? 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1532 Yes, another one. I am a fish out of water. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1533 What type of wine is best with salmon? 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1534 I'm going through a deep blue period. 1.3103 0.04433 145 105 35 5
1535 Of course I drink like a fish. Duh! 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1536 I don't care if I do look blue around the gills. Keep those drinks coming ! 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1537 She wants me to swim upstream with her for a week. Can you believe that? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1538 They said this was the nearest watering hole. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1539 I’m a Pisces 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1540 You seen Vinny lately? I'm supposed to be sleeping with him. 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
1541 You drink like a fish. Oh how original. Right up there with a rabbi, a priest and a nun........ 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1542 Well, I had to get out of there. I was in hot water. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1543 A martini, but not too dry. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1544 I asked for a wet martini, not dry. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1545 He was this big. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1546 Say Mac, send a drink over to the little Angel at table 3 and set me up again. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1547 I'm supposed to meet a priest and a rabbi here. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1548 Forget the peanuts. I want that worm even if I have to drink the whole bottle of tequila 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1549 I got you there, I didn’t WALK into this bar. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1550 I'm_not_driving. Bike's out front. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1551 Your job is to pour the drinks, not to comment on what I drink like. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1552 Oh yea, well you probably eat like a pig. So, shut up! 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1553 It'll be the Great American Novel, Mac. I call it, "The Scales of Justice." Now pour me another -- you're looking at a fish out of gin. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1554 Just throw a glass of water on my face. 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1555 I don’t drink LIKE a fish. I AM a fish. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1556 It's ok, Im not driving tonight 1.3103 0.05040 145 111 23 11
1557 I used to be a simile, look at me now. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1558 So, a rabbi, a priest and Herman Melville walk into a bar..... 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1559 Me? A drinking problem?! 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1560 ...and YOU tend bar like a human. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1561 Goldie! What's yours? 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1562 I'm having such an out of water type day. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1563 She sued me. Me sushi! 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1564 That's a red herring. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1565 Of course I need a drink. I'm a fish out of water. 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1566 Salt water, neat.........keep 'em coming! 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1567 I don’t care what the recipe says, put some salt in it. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1568 Have you got something with a little water in it? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1569 Hey, the Sturgeon General says there’s nothing wrong with a couple of drinks a day. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1570 It's tough for a guy like me to drown his sorrows. 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1571 Yes, the rumors are true, I DO drink like a fish. 1.3103 0.04644 145 107 31 7
1572 A wet martini, please 1.3103 0.04944 145 110 25 10
1573 They`re in bed, see, and the lobster says to the clam, “did you remember the butter”? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1574 I'm not carping because I'm drunk – it's just who I am. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1575 I'm trying to not get hooked on this stuff! 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1576 I trying to kick it, but I would kill for a glass of water about now. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1577 I don't care what 23 and Me says, we aren't related! 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1578 Who does your hair? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1579 Waddya mean, you ain't got a shrimp cocktail? Isn't this a bar? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1580 Did you catch the Marlins game? 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1581 She says’ Quit your carping’”and I’m like “ that’s the best version of me” 1.3103 0.04540 145 106 33 6
1582 Drink like a fish...no, I've never heard that one before! 1.3103 0.04846 145 109 27 9
1583 I can’t even drown my sorrows! 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1584 Screw you! You wouldn't be saying I drink a lot if I weren't Irish." 1.3101 0.04897 129 95 28 6
1585 Hear anything more about this spawn and die thing? 1.3099 0.04707 142 105 30 7
1586 Don't be Koi with me. 1.3099 0.04377 142 102 36 4
1587 I’m having a bit of trouble breathing. May I have a glass of water? 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1588 She left me for a carp. Can you believe it? A CARP! 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1589 ...sigh, I used to be a GREAT catch! 1.3099 0.04812 142 106 28 8
1590 I'm fine to swim home." 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
1591 My shrink says it's because I can't commit. 1.3094 0.04314 139 99 37 3
1592 Can you call me an Uber Pool? 1.3089 0.04637 123 88 32 3
1593 I look like a hooker?” 1.3087 0.04752 149 112 28 9
1594 Do you think I look fat in this dress? 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1595 spare the sarcasm and keep the tab going 1.3083 0.04551 133 96 33 4
1596 I don't like the atmosphere. 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1597 No, I don't want it dry. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1598 OK. Can I have one for the ocean? 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1599 Stop me if you've heard this one. A horse walks into a bar... 1.3077 0.04865 130 96 28 6
1600 On the rocks, like my eggs. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1601 I'm a saltwater fish in a freshwater world. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1602 Yeah, well you probably drink like a human. 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1603 A vodka martini, dry. But, you know, not too dry. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1604 No, tell me, what DOES a fish drink like? 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1605 I've been swimmin' upstream all my life. 1.3077 0.04352 143 103 36 4
1606 No, this isn’t just another fish story. 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1607 You're fired he says. You've become too big for this pond. 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1608 What do you mean you served me three seconds ago? 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1609 Never underestimate the power of a simile. 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1610 Drink like a fish? 6 shots is nothing! 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1611 Not meeting anyone. Just here for the halibut. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1612 Has anyone ever said you look just like the dude in "Gandhi" 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1613 I thought she was playing coy, but turned out she was just koi. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1614 Anything but water--I'm so sick of it. 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1615 Turns out she was a catfish. 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1616 CAN YOU MAKE AN EXTRA WET MARTINI 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1617 No salt this time, Johnny. Makes me too homesick. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1618 Make that with extra salt, please. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1619 Every time a bell rings, an angelfish gets its wings. 1.3077 0.05083 143 110 22 11
1620 A tequilla, straight up, double worms. 1.3077 0.04352 143 103 36 4
1621 If you want to swim with the fishes, you have to drink like a fish. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1622 And before you ask, no, I don't want it watered down 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1623 Ask “on the rocks?” one more time, buddy—one more time! 1.3077 0.03873 143 99 44 0
1624 You're looking at me like no one's ordered a Shirley Temple before. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1625 I swear to God, if you say the words "belly up"... 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1626 Yes, thanks, I HAVE heard I drink like a fish. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1627 You have no idea what it's like to be a fish out of water. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1628 Forget the tequila just give me the worm. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1629 One day you're a protected species, the next day they're blaming wildfires on you. 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1630 I carp about everything. 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1631 Some guys just think they're into mermaids...because they have never had a whole fish. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1632 Stop watering down my drinks. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1633 spare me the "to the gills" jokes and pour me another shot... 1.3077 0.04352 143 103 36 4
1634 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't drink like a fish. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1635 Listen, a fish out of water sometimes needs a drink, OK? 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1636 Some days I feel like a fish out of water. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1637 I'd like a bowl of water 1.3077 0.04464 143 104 34 5
1638 Water, no ice and make it salty 1.3077 0.04352 143 103 36 4
1639 Let's just get this out of the way. No, I don't work for scale. Yes, I drink like a fish. No, I don't have a "fin" I can lend you. I want a gill of the scotch and some caviar with oyster crackers... and keep 'em coming. 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1640 Listen Clyde, I don't need a man or a bicycle. 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1641 But enough about me. Whats your story? 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1642 You ever seen the "Shape of Water"? 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1643 Tequila, with extra worms... and hold the tequila. 1.3077 0.05179 143 111 20 12
1644 So then I says ‘you better watch out or you’ll be swimmin’ with the people’ 1.3077 0.04985 143 109 24 10
1645 You know something? You really are the best bartender in this bowl. 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1646 So we're flirting and I tell her 'Don't be coy!', but she kinda took it the wrong way. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1647 Every time someone says 'You drink like a fish' I take a shot. 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1648 Oh yeah?! And you steal like a bartender! 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1649 Aqua, vîte 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1650 Scotch and salt water, please. 1.3077 0.04573 143 105 32 6
1651 OK, I drink like a fish. What about it?" 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1652 ‘Plenty of Fish’ my foot! Maybe I’ll try Tinder. 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1653 I used to drink like a man. 1.3077 0.05083 143 110 22 11
1654 I don’t think I can drive, can you point me to nearest toilet? 1.3077 0.04783 143 107 28 8
1655 When they flushed me down the bowl I knew I had to strike out on my own! 1.3077 0.04679 143 106 30 7
1656 You do realize this is not a costume? 1.3077 0.04885 143 108 26 9
1657 Unfortunately, I'm only attracted to barracudas. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1658 Hey… just because I am drunk, doesn’t mean I am gonna take the bait, pal” 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1659 I met her on line, but recently she keeps asking me for a picture. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1660 Yes, I'm doing swimmingly. And, no, I don't drink like a fish. So quit carping and give me a Cutty with a splash. 1.3071 0.05159 140 108 21 11
1661 I remember when this place used to be an ocean. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1662 Can you recommend a marine biologist in this neighborhood? 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1663 It's like I always say, give a fish a drink and he'll be drunk for a day. But, teach a fish to drink. . . 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1664 Hey buddy I swam upstream all day and can have as many drinks as I want! 1.3071 0.04289 140 100 37 3
1665 Oh ya? Well you eat like a horse. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1666 This is six, I ordered Seven Seas. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1667 The last bartender who alluded to my drinking like a fish is currently "swimming with the fishes". 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1668 I've swallowed toxic radiation. What's a beer gonna do to me? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1669 And the next guy I got away from was even bigger! 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1670 What are you saying...How’s a fish SUPPOSED to drink? 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1671 Do you have any of those little cheesy goldfish to munch on? 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1672 They don’t tell you how hard it is outside of the tank. 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1673 Do you have any idea how hard it is living up to an idiom? 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1674 Hey, you're Tony Levin! I love your work with King Crimson! You're the reason I learned to play "bass!" . . . Get it?? "Bass," like the fish, and like the instrument? . . . Yeah, I know they're pronounced differently . . . Oh, just gimme a damn beer. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1675 One mezcal, neat....Don’t forget the worm. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1676 Let me tell you one more thing. I’m tired of swimming upstream. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1677 You should have seen the guy that almost caught me! 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1678 Trust me when I tell you that the last shot tasted ‘watered’.” 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1679 What did you *think* I was gonna drink like? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1680 Why does everyone think I'm a Pisces? 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1681 I don't like my drinks on the rocks for obvious reasons. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1682 Saltwater. Make it a double. 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1683 Only the President spells FISH with a P! 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1684 Got any human crackers? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1685 There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1686 They say I drink like a you-know-what" 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1687 Personally, I find the saying more aspirational. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1688 No I am not admiral ackbar 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1689 Saltwater, neat. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1690 I'd be considered a good catch in most fishing holes. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1691 Glad to see you're a cool guy. In most bars I get the fisheye. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1692 I'll take it straight. I'm trying to cut back on water. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1693 So a shark, a minnow and a clown fish walk into a bar... 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1694 ...not everybody who comes in here can drown their sorrows, capiche? 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1695 I can’t keep myself afloat ever since the stock market crashed. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1696 I feel so cheap becoming a Field & Stream centerfold. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1697 You, sir, have no idea how much a fish can drink. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1698 Yeah, I am that fish... 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1699 Turns out all those other fish in the sea were also sleeping with Karen. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1700 I just can't have another drink. I'm stuffed to the gills. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1701 I'm a human, what have YOU been drinking? 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1702 I don't tell you how to breathe, you don't tell me how to drink. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1703 Yeah,​ I drink like a Fish, you got a problem with that? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1704 Listen, pal. “It’ll cost you a fin” really gets old after a while. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1705 Luca Brasi? Yeah, maybe I’ ve seen him. Who wants to know? 1.3071 0.05159 140 108 21 11
1706 No, you can't have a fin! 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1707 Another splash please. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1708 Listen, I constantly drink my own filth. Don't tell me what I can and can't handle. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1709 And then I tell her, "A bigger pond gots nothing that we don't have right here!" 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1710 Why, yes, I do drink a little too much....why do you ask? 1.3071 0.04042 140 98 41 1
1711 I drink because I look like a penis with fins 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1712 You’re out of water? 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1713 Give me a shot of pond water, and leave the bowl. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1714 And there I was, like a fish out of vodka. 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1715 Has Jonah been here lately? 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1716 Got anything with more oxygen? 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1717 Whaddaya mean there's something fishy about my story? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1718 She was just a little carp! I turned her into a koi! I found us a perfect pond! It had lily pads! Lots of them! It had a porcelain castle fountain, for pity's sake! It had beautiful algae. We were happy! ..until she ran off with a guppy!! A GUPPY!! 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1719 Not thanks. I'm tanked. 1.3071 0.04407 140 101 35 4
1720 I know I'm on the hook for this, but it's his ass that's on the line! 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1721 So there’s no Flappy Hour? 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1722 Yeah, I'm a Siamese fighting fish. You wanna make something of it? 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1723 Never tell a Genie that “you feel like a fish out of water!” 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1724 Of all the fin joints in town, she has to swim into this one. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1725 Yeah? Your mother breaths like a human! 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1726 I don't need you to tell me to scale back! 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1727 Hey! You don't know the things I've seen. I was on that basement wall for 20 years. Pour Billy another! 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1728 A pint please and one for the river 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1729 What's the matter...never seen anyone drink like a fish? 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1730 Listen pal, I decide when I need water. 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1731 Not one word! 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1732 When I say a splash, I mean a big splash. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1733 I know, I know. You don't get many big fish in here. 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1734 Bartender, I'll have a tequila with extra worms. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1735 This is the only place where I'm not made to feel like a fish out of water. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1736 What do you have that goes with Tilapia? 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1737 And one more for the stream... 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1738 Thank Cod -- you are such a good listener!!! 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1739 Water. Hold the scotch. 1.3071 0.04522 140 102 33 5
1740 Well, I once had a drink that was THIS big. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1741 The evolution train left without me 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1742 I'm toasting the day I swam out of the Flint River. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1743 No, no, I'll BE the pickled herring! 1.3071 0.04956 140 106 25 9
1744 Sand bars are totally overrated 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1745 No, I don't want that martini dry. 1.3071 0.04851 140 105 27 8
1746 I dried out at rehab 1.3071 0.04634 140 103 31 6
1747 Scotch and water, bourbon and water, water and water, whatever. Just make it quick! 1.3071 0.04938 127 94 27 6
1748 Let me have another Jim Bream, please. 1.3066 0.04087 137 96 40 1
1749 So I told her, I've had it with your constant mocking of my mouth movements! 1.3061 0.04691 147 110 29 8
1750 I got tired of the meat market. 1.3050 0.04381 141 102 35 4
1751 You can't cut me off just because I drink like a fish. 1.3050 0.04606 141 104 31 6
1752 Yeah, well you serve like a mammal! 1.3050 0.04925 141 107 25 9
1753 Yes! I want the one with the worm! 1.3047 0.05150 128 97 23 8
1754 -----SO THIS FISH SWIMS INTO A BAR------- 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
1755 You'll never believe it, I got this great man story.. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1756 I’ll have a Catch and Release with a twist of kelp. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1757 So, is this the only watehole in town? 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1758 No more fake castles and caves. This, _this_ is an aquarium ornament. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1759 I’ve been told I drink like a fish, so I’m trying to scale it back. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1760 Of course I know it's your well scotch... I'm a bottom feeder. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1761 Now, you know where the expression, "drink like a fish", comes from, my friend. 1.3043 0.05205 138 107 20 11
1762 Another freshwater! Can’t get it back home. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1763 Martini, please. Extremely wet." 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1764 What do you mean, 'I must be looking to get tanked?' 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1765 A priest, a lawyer, and a doctor walk into a bar.... 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1766 Don't get me started on the pescatarians. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1767 Yes, and I'm going to drink like one too. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1768 So, a horse walks into a bar and says, "Do you serve fish here?" 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1769 Doesn’t matter. As long as no fish ever peed in it. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1770 So I said, "listen buddy, nobody calls ME a Haddock." 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1771 Eighteen bucks for a martini?! ... and they call me cold-blooded." 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1772 Yeah, I drink and I'm a fish, got a problem? 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1773 So I say to her,"Don't get coy with me." 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1774 I don’t like to drink out of school... 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1775 Yeah- the divorce is almost final. She caught me and released me. 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1776 With a twist of kelp, please 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1777 And when I outgrew the tank, I moved here to the city. 1.3043 0.04316 138 99 36 3
1778 Well, you pour like a sloth. 1.3043 0.05205 138 107 20 11
1779 ...Hold the mescal, just give me the worm. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1780 You know what Kyle? Thanks to BP there actually aren't 'plenty of fish in the sea' okay? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1781 how about one more for the Roe? 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1782 Well, at $35 for a beer I expect you won’t see many fish at the bar. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1783 C'mon -- just one more for the stream. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1784 Actually, it didn't take me too long to get hooked. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1785 And that's when I realized that all the ponds in all the towns were going to be small and the problems of one oversized carp don't amount to a pile of roe in this crazy world. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1786 Just water for now, please. 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1787 As a matter of fact, there is an Uber for fish...it's called Scuber. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1788 I could use a wet one.... 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1789 Did I tell you about the one that got away? I fell for her hook, line, and sinker. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1790 I drink like one too. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1791 Drinks like a fish, that's all I ever hear. I know it's a metaphor but let me tell you, metaphors can hurt. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1792 what wine goes well with fish? 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1793 Just seltzer. I'm drying out. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1794 A piranha, a rabbitfish and a mackerel walk in to a bar . . . 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1795 So, I'm reeling in this average sized child,when out of nowhere this huge Samoan—at least 6'6", 280 pushing 290—comes out of nowhere and just rips him off the line! 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1796 No, I'm not a fish out of water. I'm a fish out of Scotch and soda. Pour me another. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1797 So, when you say I smell like your first wife, that's not a compliment, is it. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1798 Yes, salt water is good. But so is dark rum. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1799 Okay buddy, you wanna take this downstream? 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1800 Don't give me that carp." 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1801 I'm gonna need a bigger glass. 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1802 I’ll have 80 gallons of water in a very large glass. 1.3043 0.04437 138 100 34 4
1803 A shot of tequila, and please include the worm 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1804 Well, you stare like a human. 1.3043 0.05102 138 106 22 10
1805 Take my advice, don't ever fall in love with a mackerel. 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1806 With more rapid sea level rise, I wanted to be sure to get a good seat. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1807 So I told him we are done for good. I need that guy like I need a bicycle. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1808 So a tuna, a marlin, and a sailfish walk into this bar, see. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1809 A glass of your purest, plastic-free deep-sea water. Make it double. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1810 I'd like a very,very wet martini. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1811 Of Course I drink like a fish, always have. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1812 Stewed to the gills? 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1813 Sorry, I know you told me 3 seconds ago but what was your name again? 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1814 I want to get drunk to the gills. 1.3040 0.05108 125 94 24 7
1815 I'm telling ya'....the scales of justice weren't in my favor! 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1816 I said, ‘no more!’ - and jumped right out of the bowl. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1817 Yours is Ben Kingsley? Mine is a toss-up between Wanda and Flipper. 1.3040 0.04714 125 91 30 4
1818 You're out of well vodka? That seems...what's the word... 1.3040 0.04849 125 92 28 5
1819 I don't care how many I've had...Keep pouring that Tequila until I get the worm!! 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1820 A fish came into a bar............... 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1821 Sorry, these scales don't tip. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1822 You'd think winning an Academy Award would help make things easier. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1823 How much to just pour it in my gills? 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1824 Luca Brasi sent me. 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1825 I shoulda known, she was only in it for the sushi 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1826 School? You're kidding. What do you call a bunch of eels? 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1827 Any other ideas? Drowning my sorrows never seems to work for me. 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1828 Give me one for the tributary. 1.3028 0.04996 142 109 23 10
1829 A big glass please!! 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1830 Make it a double-- I 'm skipping school today' 1.3028 0.04579 142 105 31 6
1831 ...but do I LOOK like a fish out of water? 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
1832 Water with a splash of salt. 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1833 Not so, sir! I say, "One man's carp is another man's poisson." 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1834 I hear you water down your drinks. 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
1835 Make it double. I’m feeling like a fish out of water. 1.3028 0.04792 142 107 27 8
1836 I give up, I'm done—Nemo can find his own way home. 1.3023 0.04618 129 94 31 4
1837 Make the next one with a splash. 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1838 Wait, you’re out of water? 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1839 I'll have a seaweed martini with anchovie olives and don't overcharge me like you tried with the gorilla. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1840 And she took the eggs. 1.3022 0.04966 139 106 24 9
1841 Hey, I can tell you about the one who almost caught me. 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
1842 YOU'RE out of water? I'M out of water! 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1843 No, I don't want water. I pee in there! 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1844 ......so I told Mr Attenborough straight up: "Look Richard, if you expect me to agree to being filmed swallowing a plastic bag in the name of saving the planet, I don't fall for that trick and I don't want a part in your lousy show..... 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1845 No. On the rocks is where I came from; it ain't where I'm goin'... 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1846 Just water, please. They say I drink like a fish. 1.3022 0.04410 139 101 34 4
1847 How can you be surprised that I drink like a fish? 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1848 Let me worry about whether I have had enough. Where do you think the saying "he can drink like a fish" came from? 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1849 Did you get a load of her attitude? So what, I switched out my eHarmony photo. Everyone’s doing that! 1.3022 0.05070 139 107 22 10
1850 Stop me if this sounds like a fish tale. 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
1851 ...And if I didn't have Jesus in my life i might still be a loaf. 1.3016 0.05436 126 98 18 10
1852 I know you been watering down those high balls. I KNOW WATER when I taste it... 1.3016 0.04683 126 92 30 4
1853 One margarita, extra salt. 1.3016 0.04947 126 94 26 6
1854 Goldschlager? Fine. Goldfish? Not so much. 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
1855 I know how I drink. just keep 'em coming. 1.3016 0.04947 126 94 26 6
1856 Do you have any idea how difficult a 12-step program is for me? 1.3016 0.04947 126 94 26 6
1857 She hooked up with a fisherman and left me with the guppies. 1.3016 0.05073 126 95 24 7
1858 So to get back at the bastard, I peed in his pool. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1859 I'll have a shot of scotch and 10,000 gallon glass of water. 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1860 Yea, so I drink like a fish. What's your point? 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1861 What do you mean my story sounds a little fishy? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1862 Since the election I've been drinking like a fish. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1863 I'M SORRY, but gold is a color. We prefer the term Koi as a group, but specifically, I prefer Kohaku. 1.3015 0.05147 136 105 21 10
1864 C'mon, none of your other customers drink like me. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1865 I'm not being coy with you. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1866 On second thought, just gimme a glass of water. Make it a double. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1867 Fish tank, drunk tank--what's the difference? Hit me again. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1868 Keep the tequila coming - I want that worm!!! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1869 Very funny. And you drink like a human. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1870 I don’t wanna go home to my fishwife. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1871 Make me one with no plastic 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1872 And now that guy is on hanging on my aquarium wall. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1873 Well, perhaps just a small one. I don't want to tip the scales 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1874 Not on the rocks. Reminds to much of how Aunt Bettie passed. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1875 Who are you calling a fish out of water? This fish is out of whiskey. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1876 If one more guy tries to pick me up with the line "You have a nice bass" I'll sucker punch him! 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1877 Look, buddy, when I said I wanted to swim in cognac, I MEANT it. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1878 Who are you calling a fish out of water? 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1879 ...so she started saying things like 'suspicious', 'dubious', 'odd', but I knew what she was really getting at, she just didn't want to say it to my face... 1.3015 0.05147 136 105 21 10
1880 It's real simple. Just some tap water and 6-8 drops of dechlorinator. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1881 ‘You’re drinkin’ like a fish.’ Seriously, Dude, that’s the best you got? 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1882 One more just to keep my head above water. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1883 Listen, we’ve got to stop this Catch and Release program! 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1884 Well yes, I suppose I do drink like a fish. What’s your point? 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1885 My life is going down the toilet. 1.3015 0.04344 136 98 35 3
1886 I drink like a fish. What'd you expect? 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1887 I'm not hooked, I can quit anytime I want to. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1888 I'll have a bottle of tequila, hold the tequila. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1889 Don't worry, I'm taking Uber pool back to the pond. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1890 Scotch and lots of water. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1891 Yes, dogfish beer but sushi doesn't agree with me. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1892 I know you want to say it, but I know my limits. 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1893 One more jibe about me drinking like a fish and you'll be swimming with 'em! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1894 Yeah...They all say that, but I think of myself as someone who eats like a bird. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1895 I think I might know better than anyone if there were something fishy going on here! 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1896 I'm just here to prove a point. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1897 .....and then she said I drink like a fish. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1898 Don't judge me. Have you *seen* the new EPA regulations?" 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1899 Hold it right there Mister, I am not stewed to the gills 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1900 If my next tequila doesn't have a worm, I 'll never drink here again! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1901 I am sorry Mr.Herring. I can’t serve you another, you are already pickled. 1.3015 0.05147 136 105 21 10
1902 The swamp isn't what it used to be. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1903 If there was plenty more, I wouldn't be here. 1.3015 0.04819 136 102 27 7
1904 Yeah, more water--filtered water. There's no going back to that natural stuff. 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1905 So thats how I was the one who got away. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1906 Make it wet. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1907 ...I know, I know, but get this! The guy actually fell for it--hook, line, and sinker! 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
1908 When I drink like a fish, I feel like I am a mermaid 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1909 Buddy, I AM dried out. 1.3015 0.04216 136 97 37 2
1910 Water, and lots of it 1.3015 0.04588 136 100 31 5
1911 ...so I said to him ‘do your worst, Kafka!’ 1.3008 0.05155 123 93 23 7
1912 Make sure you get your story straight - I didn't "walk" in here 1.3008 0.04889 123 91 27 5
1913 Buddy, for me she IS the only fish in the sea. 1.3008 0.04751 123 90 29 4
1914 ...but then she got away ! 1.3008 0.05407 123 95 19 9
1915 You're probably sick of my carping about draining the swamp- but pour another- 1.3008 0.05155 123 93 23 7
1916 Do you know how hard it is to come up with names for 1000 kids? 1.3000 0.04716 130 96 29 5
1917 You got any of dem brightly-colored pebbles? 1.3000 0.04716 130 96 29 5
1918 How was I to know she's still in school. 1.3000 0.04612 140 104 30 6
1919 You don't understand what it is like down there, with the sharks! 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1920 I'll have a gimlet, a Manhattan, a grasshopper, a blue lagoon, a sidecar, three drafts of Bud Lite, a Bartles and Jaymes Fuzzy Navel, a Cutty Sark, neat, and no similes. 1.2993 0.05008 137 105 23 9
1921 It's a common misconception. We don't actually drink water. 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1922 ....and then she swam into my life.... 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1923 Then she dumped me, said I had no sole. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1924 I'm looking for the Rabbi and the Priest. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1925 Yeah, so what if this is my sixth? In case you haven't noticed I'm a fish. 1.2993 0.05008 137 105 23 9
1926 So a guy swims into a bar, see... 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1927 You bartenders are all the same. Don't give me that plenty of fish in the sea crap. 1.2993 0.04317 137 99 35 3
1928 It all started when I dropped out of the school... 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1929 Oh I think I CAN hold my water... give me another... 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1930 Not many people know this, but it was I who bit Ahab’s leg 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1931 You're gonna charge me for water? 1.2985 0.04498 134 98 32 4
1932 That joke is old and patronizing. This fish walked into a bar because he just lost his job and has to go home to tell the wife and spawn 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1933 That is amazing, how did you know my name was Wanda? 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1934 What do you mean, ‘out of water’. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1935 You're piscine in the wind buddy 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1936 Dry martini 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1937 I guess my biggest problem is that I always play too koi. 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1938 And you would not believe the amount of plastic I have to put up with! 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1939 It got personal when he said he had bigger fish to fry. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1940 Every role I audition for goes to a human or a robot. 1.2985 0.04972 134 102 24 8
1941 Pickled herring, yeah, yeah, very funny 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1942 Stop telling me: "There are plenty of fish in the sea." Sharon was one of a kind. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1943 Can you believe that my wife said I drank like a fish and threw me out? 1.2984 0.04989 124 93 25 6
1944 What do you mean you served me five seconds ago—I need a drink! 1.2977 0.04809 131 98 27 6
1945 Stewed? Perhaps, but not to the gills. So keep pouring, pal. 1.2971 0.04647 138 103 29 6
1946 Stop Carping about Trump ! 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1947 My school ID is too valid. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
1948 That’s enough for me—I’m swimming tonight. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1949 I don't usually drink like this, but the atmosphere is suffocating. 1.2966 0.05289 118 90 21 7
1950 And that’s how I joined the Yakuza 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
1951 My lady kicked me out, she said, “you drink like a fish.” I mean, I AM A FISH! 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1952 This one definitely has the fine bouquet of Lake Michigan. 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
1953 Why the fish-face? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1954 Don't bother offering. The last time I tried to "swallow the worm," I wound up with a hook in my mouth. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
1955 You calling me a chicken?! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1956 Duh. And you suck air like a mammal, pal. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
1957 No, I want it very DRY. And by the way, that's racist. 1.2963 0.04940 135 103 24 8
1958 Yeah? Well, you swim like a person. 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
1959 Never fall in love with a hooker, she'll leave you high and dry. 1.2963 0.04827 135 102 26 7
1960 Hey enough of the Mr. Lipid jokes! Pour me a stiff one. 1.2963 0.04711 135 101 28 6
1961 Here’s another one. A fish walks into a bar... 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1962 Nobody knows...the bubbles I've seen. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1963 OK, let's knock off the fish-walks-into-a-bar nonsense. Just get me a triple Stoli and a tub of salt water, quick. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1964 Whaddaya mean you don't serve fish? Can't you see I'm a whitefish 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1965 Why am I a fluke? 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1966 I’m not playing koi with you. 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1967 It's just like I imagined. 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1968 Yeah, buddy, so maybe I do. But it's "as", not "like". 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1969 Look buddy, I’m a fish so I can’t drown my sorrows. Now fill’er up again. 1.2955 0.04898 132 100 25 7
1970 ...and THEN she says, 'Time to fish or cut BAIT....' So cold, man. I loves her, but I lose either way. 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
1971 I’m lookin’ to get sauced, not canned, pal! 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1972 In fact, “Drunk to the gills,” is an offensive stereotype. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1973 I think I’d know what a dry drink would taste like. Those were definitely wet.” 1.2941 0.04563 136 101 30 5
1974 Well, you drink like a camel, pal. 1.2941 0.04796 136 103 26 7
1975 They made a movie about my parents' life. Ya, it even got an Academy Award as 'Best Picture' in 2018. 1.2941 0.05018 136 105 22 9
1976 I got kicked out of my school because I drank like a fish. 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1977 Barkeep! Another round. That worm is MINE! 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1978 No, seriously, I've never heard the one about the perch perched on a barstool. 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1979 Who knew rising sea levels had an up side, I'll have another! 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1980 Don't for one minute think I'm just being koi. 1.2923 0.05057 130 100 22 8
1981 But how sure are you that I won't turn into a gorgeous Princess if you kiss me? 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
1982 What do you mean I have to wear shoes? 1.2923 0.05174 130 101 20 9
1983 Yeah, you'd hit the booze too if your finances were in the toilet. I'm barely keeping my head below water. 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1984 Listen, Buster, if your girlfriend had just swum off with a lobster, you'd be slammin' shots too. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1985 I know I drink like a fish, but even a fish out of water gets thirsty. 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
1986 I'm just looking for a good lounge where you don't have to dance. 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1987 Ok,now I will try that mexican drink with the worm in it. I am ready to be hooked 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1988 What do you mean it's not your policy to serve fish with scales?... 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1989 Fish aren't supposed to feel pain, she tells me. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1990 For the last time, the name is Gil ... one L, no S. 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
1991 ...Every guy with a shiny lure thinks I’ll go for it. Do they really think it’s that simple? 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
1992 She left me for a Yellowfin Tuna. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1993 Yeah? And you breathe like a bartender. 1.2923 0.05057 130 100 22 8
1994 What's a plaice like me doing in a bar like this? 1.2923 0.05174 130 101 20 9
1995 I'll have what the rabbi is having. 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
1996 Go ahead. Go ahead! Say it? Drinks like a what, Larry? DRINKS LIK A WHAT? 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1997 I knew she was cold-blooded, but I didn't think she'd spawn with my best friend. 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1998 She left me for an invertebrate. 1.2923 0.05057 130 100 22 8
1999 No, I don’t “want the worm.” Why do you ask? 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
2000 They say that I drink like a human! 1.2923 0.04938 130 99 24 7
2001 What do you recommend? I'm a little wet behind the ears. 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
2002 ...that may very well be, sir, but right now I’m a fish out of vodka. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
2003 For your information: I've never been tanked. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2004 I used to drink like a fish. Now I come to the bar like everyone else. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
2005 This place is shallow. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2006 So I sez to her, "Ok since when was drinking like a fish a crime?" 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2007 I’ve been accused of drinking like a man 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2008 How about a not so dry martini? 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2009 Yes I'm huge but you should have seen the one that got away! 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
2010 So a fish walked into a bar and ... 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
2011 Oh I don't know, lately I've just been feeling like such a fish out of water. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2012 No - you're the one who drinks like a fish! 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
2013 I'd rather die of alcohol poisoning than be strangled by plastic six packs floating in the Pacific ocean. 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
2014 Since she left, I’ve been like a fish out of water! 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2015 So,what's the me of the day? 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2016 Don't give me that tartar sauce look. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
2017 Yeah, I've got dobie gills, plus, I've got a couple of mickey fins. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2018 What, you’ve never served tuna before? 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
2019 Can you believe she said I drank like a fish?!? 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2020 And then I says to her "Yeah, well at least I don't smoke like a chimney" 1.2917 0.04644 120 88 29 3
2021 fillet up 1.2917 0.04490 120 87 31 2
2022 I'm parched. I'll have a wet martini. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2023 I fell in love with a mermaid but you know what they say about mixed marriages 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2024 Can you make a wet martini? 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2025 Im the one that got away..... 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
2026 I fell for it hook line and sinker. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
2027 One Tequila with the worm in it 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
2028 I’ll have my usual, a Cape Cod." 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
2029 I don’t know, it just seemed like there was something fishy about this place. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
2030 First I was hunted as "brain food", now for my heart-friendly Omega-3s. Gimme another. 1.2899 0.07182 69 54 10 5
2031 I know that I drink like a fish, but what did you expect? 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2032 I'm meeting Mr. Limpet 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2033 Don’t call me Wanda! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2034 I was supposed to be a mermaid, but gene splicing was still in development. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2035 on a scale of 1 to 10 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2036 Its those stupid clownfish, they think they're so funny 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2037 You have no idea how we drink. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2038 I won't accept hush money, and I'd never sign an NDA. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2039 Hey! I'm out of water! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2040 My head is NOT swimming! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2041 I’ll have an EPA one the rocks—river water with a dash of pesticides, PCBs and growth hormone. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2042 What? You’ve never seen a simile drink before? 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2043 Scaled, not stirred. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2044 And then she said, ‘Face it, Gary, I’ve just got bigger fish to fry.’ 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2045 No need to be coy, Roy! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2046 Water? Water? People pee in it ...! 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2047 I got hooked young 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2048 My friend say I drink like a fish. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2049 You say it’s not that kind of bar? Well, I’m not that kind of fish. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2050 It’s just not right, I mean you never hear us saying, “I think I smell something humany going on around here”. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2051 'I wouldn't be caught dead at one of those seafood bars." 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2052 I am just waiting for my three friends, the minister, the priest and the rabbi to walk into this bar. 1.2891 0.04458 128 94 31 3
2053 A quick one while my bicycle's being serviced. 1.2891 0.04458 128 94 31 3
2054 Not dry! Wet! I want a wet martini! 1.2891 0.05221 128 100 19 9
2055 Charlie Tuna? Sure I knew Charlie. What a jerk. Met him in rehab...always acting like a big shot...'cause of the commercials. Went around saying Flounder would be nothing without him. Sure, like she'd give him the time of day. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2056 Aw - Come on - One for the .... river 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2057 So you're saying I drink like a fish? It's not like I have any choice bub. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2058 Would you please tell Mr. Collins that Wanda would like a word with him 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2059 if anyone asks...you haven't seen me 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
2060 Water just doesn't quite take the edge off. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2061 One more please...still waiting for the guy I met on Fin-der. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2062 And you have any idea how much school costs these days? 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2063 Does Fish called Wanda ever come in here? 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2064 What time is the bowl game? 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2065 No lemon in the water, please. Just salt. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2066 So the rabbi says "What is this, a joke?" 1.2891 0.05221 128 100 19 9
2067 Yeah? Well so what that I drink like a fish? 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2068 Don’t water it down this time! 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
2069 Times are tough when you are a school drop out. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2070 It was then I realized I was like a fish out of water trying trying to fully understand mans' inhumanity to man 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2071 Fortunately for you, I prefer my drinks watered down 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2072 How dry I am. 1.2891 0.04318 128 93 33 2
2073 Hit me again. I'm drying out. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2074 And then she said, "there's still plenty of fish in the sea"... 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2075 I'll show you a pickled herring. 1.2891 0.05451 128 102 15 11
2076 Turns out there are NOT plenty of fish in the sea. 1.2891 0.04458 128 94 31 3
2077 I'm an alcoholic - hook, line and sinker. 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
2078 Well of course I drink like a fish! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2079 Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water---why is that? 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2080 Just water . 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2081 Another Tequila Gusano but make it two worms please this time 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2082 Sorry Sir, but I do not think a fish can drown his sorrows. 1.2891 0.04458 128 94 31 3
2083 I was flushed! Flushed! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2084 And don't tell me I drink like a fish. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2085 She left me for an Albacore. He had a high net worth. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2086 Make it one for my baby and one more for the stream. 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
2087 I suppose you're going to tell me I can't smoke in here, either. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2088 My wife kicked me out because she thinks I drink like a fish. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2089 ...and then I said,'Don't play Koi,I know you wanted me to buy you that drink.' 1.2891 0.04458 128 94 31 3
2090 And you can wipe that smirk off your face. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2091 Sorry, sir, it’s Friday. We don’t serve fish. 1.2891 0.05337 128 101 17 10
2092 No more tequila. Just the worm. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2093 Out of water? That makes two of us... 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2094 Whaddaya mean you don't serve my kind? What makes your phylogeny better than my ontogeny? 1.2891 0.05221 128 100 19 9
2095 It's physiologically impossible for me to drown my sorrows. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2096 But I want a straw! 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
2097 What pairs well with seafood? 1.2891 0.05451 128 102 15 11
2098 And then she said “At my age, I’d rather have a talking fish. “ 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
2099 What is water? 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
2100 Saying Go Fish every time I ask for another Mezcal isn't funny anymore! 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
2101 I'm having a Kafkaesque drinking experience. 1.2889 0.04318 135 99 33 3
2102 Can I get a glass of salt water on the rocks? 1.2881 0.04677 118 87 28 3
2103 Listen pal, it's "hairless," not "bald." 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2104 That's Ms. Goldie to you! Now, pour me another tequila. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2105 When I start saying you look like a mermaid, cut me off. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2106 Wow, no way, I just got a chill up my spine, yes I am a 'Pisces', how did you know! 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2107 Did I ever to you about the time I hooked a 250 pound fisherman? 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2108 I’m hooked on this! 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2109 I ain't a catch 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2110 Listen buddy, if anyone asks, I drink like a horse. Got it? 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2111 They told me this was an upscale WET BAR! 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2112 So, I was just sitting there, minding my own business.... 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
2113 Then this guy in concrete shoes shows up and you won’t believe what he wanted. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2114 My whole school is planning to stage a swim-in until our demands are met. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2115 I realized I preferred being a big fish in a small pond. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2116 Pond water, no rocks. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2117 I prefer a wine that's not too dry! 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2118 Gimme a glass of water. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2119 You mean “endangered” not “over-served”. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2120 I am a cliche come to life, but I would like a Manhattan. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2121 And then she told me I'm no Prize! Can you believe that? 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2122 Man, I was taken hook line and sinker. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2123 Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she swims into mine. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2124 Who said I drink like a fish? I want names! 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2125 I'm waiting for a priest and a rabbi. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2126 Do I look like someone who has sex on the beach to you? 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2127 You see, I can't exactly "drown" my sorrows. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2128 Look, I'm up to my gills in bad advice. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2129 I've been told I drink like a fish. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2130 So did you hear the one about a lawyer who walked into a bar? 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2131 Somebody told me this joint was under water 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2132 To be honest , I find the expression offensive. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2133 I remind you of a simile? Pour my a double and I’ll guess which one. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2134 Finally, a bar without the trite "So shoes, no shirt, no service" sign. I'll have a Margarita on the rocks with no salt. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2135 I'm just a fish out of gin. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2136 Don't even think it. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2137 Do I look like I want a dry Martini 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2138 Give me a tub of cold water, And a whiskey chaser! 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2139 Excuse me, barkeep, I'm outta water. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2140 Cut the carp and get me a drink 1.2880 0.05183 125 97 20 8
2141 Half salt the rim- I'm brackish. 1.2880 0.04517 125 92 30 3
2142 Believe me, I've always drank like a fish. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2143 This sort of behavior was frowned upon in my old school. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2144 But I'm handling things swimmingly! 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2145 Suggestions for a fish out of water? 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2146 Yeah, ever since the divorce I’ve been drinking like a man. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2147 I have never understood that simile. Could you explain it to me? 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
2148 Yeah, yeah, I know. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2149 Just because I'm a bottom feeder doesn't me you have the right to refuse service. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2150 I am going to need a speech bubble 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2151 I said reincarnate me as something sleek and sexy, and well, someone has a real sense of humour. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
2152 I got kicked out of school for drinking like a bird. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2153 What?! You’ve never seen a fish out of water? 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2154 Hey handsome, ever sleep with the fishes? 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2155 I mustache you for a drink. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2156 Water & Scotch, please. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2157 Make it a double, just for the halibut 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2158 I think I'll always feel like a fish out of water 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2159 My husband found out that I sleep with Luca Brasi. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2160 Yes, but I don’t want to be out of beer too. 1.2880 0.05183 125 97 20 8
2161 I already told you, I need it to breathe! 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
2162 So this horse walks into a bar.... 1.2880 0.05183 125 97 20 8
2163 Falling off the wagon isn't so bad when it's heading to the fish market. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2164 I wanna see the piano player who is making the "tune-a-fish jokes! 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2165 But I AM a fish. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2166 I'll tell you when I've had enough! 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2167 Can I convince you to come run our new Sand Bar? 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2168 Yeah, I am a Southeast Asian fighting fish. Wanna make something of it? 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2169 If Mike of Mid-Atlantic Charter Fleet happens to call, tell him Big Bubba Bass was never here. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2170 Another shot of salt water, mister? I’m dying over here! 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2171 So set “um” up Joe. I got a fish story you oughtta know. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2172 I know I have a problem. I drink like a...uh... I don't know; some kind of animal that drinks a lot! 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2173 Well, what did you expect? 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2174 This time, leave the worm in. 1.2880 0.04372 125 91 32 2
2175 Better not shut me off, I've got a mercurial temper! 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2176 Give me six martinis, I want to go down to the sea in sips. 1.2880 0.05426 125 99 16 10
2177 I am not drunk as a fish, I am just a fish out of water or in this case out of vodka. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
2178 I know I drink like a fish. I AM a fish. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2179 She says I drink like a fish. What did she expect? 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
2180 What's the matter - Never seen someone drink like a fish before! 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2181 Another Scotch and water. And this time don't hold back on the water, for Crissakes. 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2182 What kind of water do you have on tap? 1.2880 0.04927 125 95 24 6
2183 I just can't help the way I feel. She's got me hook, line and sinker! 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
2184 What does a gill have to do to get a drink around here. 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
2185 Keep the rounds coming- I can drink like a fish 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
2186 I swear, if you tell me to 'carpe diem', I'm going to flop over this bar and slap that mustache off your face. 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
2187 Well, how else would you expect me to drink? 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
2188 Whadya mean where's the whale? Am I my blubber's kipper? 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
2189 There's something fishy about this bar and I'm going to get to the bottom if it! 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
2190 What I object to is your assuming I have a drinking problem because I'm a fish. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
2191 Why is it that every bartender thinks I want a glass of mezcal? 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
2192 Yeah, well, fish don't drink Manhattans. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
2193 You can increase your business by simply advertising on the net 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2194 Light on the Scotch and heavy on the water 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2195 Hook me up with a worm and a Mezcal chaser. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2196 We’re in a nasty custody suit for the 456 kids after his affair with that mute custodian home wrecker. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2197 Well, Mack, that's pretty cliche, but, yeah, I can hold my own. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2198 Line up another six shots. I'm drinking for the whole school tonight. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2199 Problems? I'm swimming in 'em. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2200 ''I'm a bit concerned about Roe v. Wade'' 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2201 Listen, I know watered-down. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2202 I'm worried they're going to flip on me. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2203 You are the first man who "gets me" when I say I need a drink... 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2204 One for the road, joe. My baby' left me for a whale of a good time. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2205 Say I drink like a fish, one more time. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2206 'Yeah Louie, she must've thought I was some kind of sucker." 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2207 Don't tell me the deal smells fishy! 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2208 No, I want a Diet Coke. I drink like a fish that's in recovery. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2209 I'd better quit at six, Jack, I'm over legal weight already 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2210 It's none of your business but, yes, I DO drink like a fish. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2211 What’s that smell? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2212 Another, please. I'm trying to drink like a man. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2213 Excuse me sir, I'm out of water. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2214 so I kissed him and here I am 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2215 You look like you've never seen a fish before? I could use some water over here! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2216 Stop me before I get fried. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2217 Can I have a little bit more water please? 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2218 I drink to all six of them: They all thought I was a great catch, but I took the bait and got way. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2219 THIS'LL ALL SHOW ON THE SCALES TOMORROW 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2220 Not surprising, but I drink like a fish! 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
2221 . . .and no straw! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2222 I tried AA, but it was just so old school. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2223 The irony is not lost on me. Just keep pourin'! 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2224 I am supposed to have a blind date with a mermaid named Wanda, have you seen her? 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2225 Get me another. I'm not up to the gills, yet. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2226 Scotch and aquarium water, please. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2227 And it should be "as a fish" anyway. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2228 We fish actually drink the least of all sea creatures. 1.2857 0.04344 126 92 32 2
2229 I look unsteady? You try walking in these fins. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2230 She said she'd like to see roe overturned. I thought she meant sex! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2231 Keep 'em comin' son. I drink like a fish. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2232 I just don't know if a 12-step program is right for me. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2233 What kind of a dive bar doesn't have fish flakes? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2234 Rum and Coke, please. Though, to be honest, I pair best with a Pinot Noir. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2235 And then he just left, muttering about how I'd catfished him. I'm not even in the same genus as catfish! 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2236 I'll have a bourbon and water, please. In a REALLY, REALLY big glass ... And, hold the bourbon. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2237 There's something fishy about this place. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2238 Just set the bottle on the bar...and spare me the simile. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2239 ..and I told that old barfly that I wasn't falling for THAT line again. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2240 I am one and I drink like one. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2241 Of course, I drink like a fish. It's in my genes. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2242 Make it a strong one, there's a bunch of real sharks in that Go Fish Tournament. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2243 And your bottom line will improve if you can get at least 10% to drink like a fish. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2244 I come from a long line of pickled herrings who end up on squid roe. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
2245 I think I have a breathing problem. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2246 There's something fishy about this drink! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2247 I’ll take that extra dry. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2248 DRY Vermouth, Please. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2249 One martini. Two martini. Three martini. Flounder. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2250 I hate bait and switch advertising. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2251 I'm cold blooded you moron. I said Chivas "neat". 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
2252 What's the name of that drink with the worm in the bottle? 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2253 Hey man, I don't need to scale back. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2254 ...and holds my head in the toilet yelling "Don't play Koi me!" 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2255 Stereotypes don’t come out of thin air! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2256 Tell me if you've heard this one. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2257 And tomorrow I gotta wake up early and jump to the top of that waterfall again. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2258 A fish glides into a Bar and says, 'I'm looking to hook up.' 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2259 I’m catfishing a guy here tonight. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2260 ...so THEN she ups and dumps me for Marlin. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2261 ... so she said, ‘A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.’ But honestly, I just wanted a drink. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2262 I heard someone say ‘He drinks like a fish,’ and that’s when it started. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
2263 Okay, smart guy, if you think you know so much, what's my astrological sign? 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2264 What do you mean, you don't serve fish here? 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2265 No! I look like a fish outta VODKA, so shut up 'n' pour! 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2266 Are you out of water? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2267 5000 brothers and sisters and none showed up for my birthday party. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2268 How do you know what a fish drinks like? 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2269 Something seem fishy in here or it’s just me? 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2270 What did I think of Jaws? We saw it in school and laughed our fins off. They needed a bigger boat? Well duh! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2271 Oh yeah? Well -- you tend bar like an ox. 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2272 If you must know, hooking up with my catch of the day. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2273 Martini. Not too dry. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2274 Tequila- with the worm 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2275 No, you're the problem! You wouldn't say that about the Irish, would you?!? 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2276 now listen buddy. . . i'm telling you the truth. . . I got away from a 6" 7"" 345lb fisherman, believe it or not! 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2277 If they were scales of justice, I would have arms. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2278 Put it on my gill. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2279 I'm not a hooker...I'm a hookee 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2280 Whiskey and water, hold the whiskey. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2281 Well buddy, then what am I supposed to drink like? 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2282 Needs more plastic. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2283 You probably don't get many carp in here with $18.00 martinis ! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2284 No straw? 1.2857 0.05146 126 98 20 8
2285 No wisecracks about drinking like a fish. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2286 Which liquor has the worm at the bottom? 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2287 I know I said dry but this is ridiculous. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2288 Tub of water,please. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
2289 Friends tell me I drink like a fish. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2290 Maybe you know my cousin, Gil. He was flushed about 10 days ago. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2291 I don’t know, it didn’t work out. Maybe I was a little too coy 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2292 Why do they always throw me back?! 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2293 Salt water on the rocks my good sir. 1.2857 0.04487 126 93 30 3
2294 Yes I can feel pain. My mermaid just dumped me. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2295 I really like the atmosphere in here 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2296 And then I ran into this island of plastics... 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2297 Actually, I'm an ASIAN Fighting Fish, and I'm going to have to ask you to step outside. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
2298 I would like a very dry martuna 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2299 All i asked for was the directions to the nearest watering hole 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2300 What do you expect? I'm a fish. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2301 I specifically asked for NO SALT. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2302 So I said to myself, 'When are the chances I'll ever be in Lake Tahoe again?' 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2303 This is not my usual watering hole. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2304 Oh, yeah? Well, I smoke like a chimney, too, so knock it off with the racial stereotypes and gimme another Dewar's! 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2305 When do you get off the hook? 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2306 Bring in that guy who claimed he could out-drink a fish. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2307 I'm tell'en you, the guy at the end of the bar told me " I was a great catch". 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2308 I got this gimp fin during the battle of Salmon Run. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
2309 I once was quit a catch. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2310 I have seventeen kids at home, just give me the bottle 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2311 Another tequila. And hold the worm, wise guy! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
2312 A Manhattan with worms, please 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2313 Hey, I'm bald too. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2314 Keep 'em coming-I plan to drink like a fish tonight. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2315 Give me another shot. Someone stole my bicycle. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2316 No, you're out of YOUR element! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2317 You wanna know why I don't drink water? Cuz I fuck in it. Not spawn. Fuck. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2318 Yes, I admit it. I drink like a fish. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2319 Blame it on global warming and evolution. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2320 Sex on the beach. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2321 Forget what they say, I'll take a Shirley Temple. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2322 Mikey,you flushed me down the toilet... So,keep 'em comin'. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
2323 I’m out f water? You’re out of water! This whole bar’s out of water! 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
2324 Fishman's with a Bass Ale back! 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
2325 And then she said it's because you drink like a fish!, so I say "baby you knew who I was when you met me". 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
2326 No, I don’t want to see today’s seafood specials! 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2327 No, I'll tell you when I'm sloshed! 1.2846 0.04832 123 93 25 5
2328 I'm the one that got away, and it's just damned lonely. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2329 Do I look like a pickled herring to you, Mac? 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2330 Bartender says, "We don't get many fish in here." Fish says, "No, and with these prices, ya won't get many more!" 1.2846 0.04692 123 92 27 4
2331 Stop angling for a tip. 1.2846 0.04968 123 94 23 6
2332 Schools are completely overrated. Dropping out was the best decision I ever made. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
2333 Yeah, I know what I drink like. Now how about you give me my bourbon on the rocks? 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2334 If you cut me off I’ll die. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2335 Skip the fish. Just chips and a beer. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2336 La Croix's target demographic 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2337 A margarita on the rocks.....with sea salt, please. 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
2338 Yes, I know I drink like a fish...one more for the road please. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2339 Hey pal, I'm the one who's out of water, capisce? 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2340 My wife says I drink like a person. 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2341 So I drink like a fish, so what? 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2342 I'm trying to scale back but it's tough being an endangered species! 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2343 Look, there are certain expectations of me here, and I'm trying to live up to them. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
2344 Let me guess: you were gonna tell me I drink like a fish. 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2345 I'll take the mixed snacks, but please, please promise me there are no Pepperidge Farm Goldfish in there. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2346 Hello sailor!!!! 1.2836 0.04570 134 101 28 5
2347 Do you serve fish here? 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2348 Never met a bottom feeder, eh? 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2349 Saltwater - rocks. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2350 I used to work for scale-- now I'm floundering. That's why I drink like a fish. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2351 ...and don't get me started about the other fish in the sea. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2352 I should tell you- I drink like a fish. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2353 Look, man, I'm a fish out of vodka. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2354 My human costume is at the cleaners. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2355 You heard me. Extra dry! 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2356 . . . frat party . . . wanted to be a big drinker . . . anyway, I thought she said her NAME was genie . . . . 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2357 Let me show you how a fish REALLY drinks! 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
2358 Yes, actually I AM a fish out of water. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2359 Well, did you expect me to drink like a camel? 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
2360 Long story short, he was a total bass-hole. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2361 Ever since my divorce I’ve become a stereotype. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
2362 Enough with those creepy goldfish crackers. How about some olives? 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2363 You prayed for more customers who drink like a fish and here I am! 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2364 Got any worms? 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2365 Oh yeah? Well, YOU pour like a bartender! 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
2366 Yeah, well, let me tell you something about raisin' kids...I've got 8,000 of them. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2367 All right, screw it- I'll try the sushi. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2368 Sure I drink like a fish. But so would you if you had to swim upstream the same time every year whether you want to or not. 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
2369 Don't say it. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
2370 Just some water. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2371 You don't understand! I can do this all day 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
2372 I have 30 seconds to live 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2373 O.K. I think I've had enough. I don't wanna be drunk as a skunk. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
2374 What do you mean there’s no worm in the bottle? 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
2375 I drink therefore I am. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
2376 Hey, you taste just like a bartender I once ate. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
2377 Oh yeah? And how exactly does a fish drink buddy? 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
2378 Yeah, so I drink like a fish. That's how I know your drinks are watered down. 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
2379 Double scotch neat, and hold the similes. 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
2380 Maggie says I drink like a tuna. You know me - - - I'm more like a trout, right? 1.2823 0.04933 124 95 23 6
2381 Never you mind what I drink like - just keep pouring! 1.2823 0.05065 124 96 21 7
2382 I swear, that fisherman was as big as a house, and I dragged him down with my tail. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
2383 Martini, please. Extra Dry. 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
2384 I rode my bike. How else would I get here? 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
2385 I'm tellin' ya, it was THIS big 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
2386 So I said “fish or cut bait!” 1.2823 0.04660 124 93 27 4
2387 A fish goes into a bar . . . 1.2823 0.04517 124 92 29 3
2388 Who you calling a GMO! 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
2389 You'd look better without the mustache... 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
2390 Something wet and slippery. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2391 So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face"...... 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2392 Barkeep - give me a bottle of that tequila with the worm in it; hold the tequila. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2393 How about this time you serve the water back without cracking up! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2394 I don't care if you did mean it idiomatically, it's racist! 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
2395 In case you haven't noticed, I am a fish! Ergo - I drink like a fish - so keep 'em coming! 1.2810 0.04727 121 91 26 4
2396 Yes, a martini, again, please. But don't make it dry. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
2397 Another "Drinks like a fish" wisecrack, and I'll filet you in a New York minnow. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
2398 How would you like it if I made a joke about you 'drinking like a human'? 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
2399 And No! I am not hard of Herring 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2400 It's been said "I drink like a fish." 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2401 No more school for me. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2402 Got anything strong? I'm sick of salt water 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2403 Fish walks into a bar. Barman mulls the many, many alternatives to cracking fish-related drink jokes. 1.2807 0.04580 114 84 28 2
2404 Ok, say it! I drink like a fish 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2405 Carp! Carp! Carp! 1.2797 0.04149 118 85 33 0
2406 Perhaps I've been drinking too much. We were getting along swimmingly until just a moment ago. 1.2787 0.04547 122 91 28 3
2407 What did you say I drink like? 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
2408 Seriously Carl, please remove that mirror. I just want to forget for a while. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
2409 Can you believe it? So I said: “how else am I supposed to drink?”. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
2410 Could I have a beer? Wait; I forgot what I ordered... Could I have a beer? Wait; I forgot what I ordered...Could I have a beer? Wait; I forgot what I ordered... 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
2411 I could drink twice this much and still walk toe to heel. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2412 Don't even try, I've heard them all ... "Fish out of water" ..." Drinks like a fish" ... "Call me Ishmael" and, no, I don't know Luca Brasi ... just hold the jokes and give me another double scotch! 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2413 You can lead a fish to water, but I prefer scotch. Neat. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2414 Then she has the nerve to tell me I drink like a fish. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2415 Bring me a water. And keep ‘em comin’, honey. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2416 - and water on the side 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2417 $50 for a beer? No wonder you don't see any fish in here. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2418 I'd like 100 gallons of Tanqueray---to go. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2419 What did ya expect? I drink like a fish. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2420 Cut off? You try walking straight with fins for feet! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2421 No sir, this is not a joke! It’s more like an analogy. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2422 No, this is not a joke! You think I walked in here? 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2423 I'll have a Bass Ale please. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2424 If you dare make a comment about "drinking like a fish" I will end you. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2425 Yes, I can drink like a fish. Can you drink like a bartender? 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2426 No offense, but these drinks taste a little watered down. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2427 I'd love a glass of salt water 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2428 ...In contrast, if *you* were drinking like this, now that would be a simile. See? 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2429 Don’t forget the splash of water. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2430 Yeah, I get that comment a lot. Never met the guy. The name is Bob Fish, not Alex Fish, no relation. 1.2773 0.04453 119 88 29 2
2431 It's still not dry enough. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2432 Yes, I have told I drink like a human. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2433 A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are swimming in the ocean.... 1.2773 0.05588 119 96 13 10
2434 My friend is locking up my bicycle. Would you like to meet her?. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2435 You know I can’t drink. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2436 If that's what you see, give me some of what you're drinking because what I see is nothing to get excited about. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2437 I thought he loved me. But all he wanted was to eat my children. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2438 No, I don't also smoke like a chimney 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2439 don't get koi with me, young man! 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2440 It's a sand bar buddy. We're dry. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2441 To be precise, I drink like a carp. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2442 Yeah, I may be out of water but how can you be out of tequila? 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2443 A barrel of brine,shaken not stirred. 1.2773 0.05459 119 95 15 9
2444 Okay, a cod, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar... 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2445 It's not easy to drown my sorrows. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2446 Has someone accused me of drinking like a fish? 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2447 Don't believe a thing that big mouth bass tells you. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2448 Yeah?! And you pour like a human! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2449 So I was elected Jury foreman..something about the scales of justice! 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2450 Actually, I don’t drink at all. Do you have any worms? 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2451 It was a rough day and I just need a couple to take the edge off. Don't let me get pickled. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2452 Do you have any tequila with a worm in it? 1.2773 0.04453 119 88 29 2
2453 So I said to her, "Oh yeah? Well, don't be koi with ME..." 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2454 Quit carping at me! You'd drink like a fish too if you had to spend your whole life in school. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2455 That remark might be considered witty except for the fact that I AM A FISH. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2456 Listen buddy, if I could only remember the last three seconds of my life I wouldn't be ordering a seventh gin and tonic 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2457 I drink like a fish buddy, so don't even think of cutting me off! 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2458 Give me your wettest martini. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
2459 No, I'm not a cliche! 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2460 You'd drink too if you were married to a fishwife. 1.2773 0.05327 119 94 17 8
2461 On second thought, I'll pass. I've been drinking all day. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2462 You drink like a fish” “That’s racist. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2463 Don’t tell me I drink like a fish! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2464 I’ll have a water with a splash. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2465 Make it a dry martini! 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2466 You, Sir, are a fishist. 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2467 for the last time...its NOT like "Shape of Water!" 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2468 I'll have a glass of water,please 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2469 I used to drink like a fish, but I've scaled it back cuz people were starting to notice. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2470 Admit it--you're trying to get me hooked. 1.2773 0.04611 119 89 27 3
2471 One more of these, and I'll be tanked 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2472 Just don't tell me there are bigger fish in the sea. 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
2473 Of course I drink like a fish. What else would I do? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2474 Now my ex... that one drinks like a fish. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
2475 Water? What's that? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2476 I can't decide if I waant salt or fresh water... 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
2477 You'd drink like a fish too if you were Donald Trump's lawyer. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2478 Well, they say beluga and vodka go well together. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2479 One more snide comment about ‘pickled herring’ and you’ll be ‘sleeping with the fishes’...Capisce? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2480 I'll tell ya, this burg was better before they drained the Swamp. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
2481 Skip the water. I know what happens in the water. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2482 No shoes, no shirt, no service! 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2483 When I’m not in school, I drink like a fish. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2484 No more net worth jokes, OK? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2485 I plan to go out with a splash 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2486 I told you I'm not swimming home, I got an Uber coming. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2487 A double Tequila, straight up, with three worms. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2488 No more, Joe-- if I have another I'll be sleeping with the fishes. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
2489 Of course I drink like a fish! What were you expecting? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2490 On a scale of one to ten, how do I look. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2491 Yes I drink like a fish but I don’t want to hear any carping about it. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2492 Another double Cuervo straight up - hold the worm. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2493 Neat schmeet! More water this time. 1.2764 0.04366 123 91 30 2
2494 Wait, don't I get to do the worm? 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2495 So I drink like a fish...you gonna carp about it, you gill-less wankmaggot? 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2496 No sushi? What kind of bar is this? 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2497 Across the Pond they don’t skip the vermouth... 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2498 So what's wrong with drinking like a fish, huh? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2499 I'm here to confirm the stereotype. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2500 Water on the side. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2501 guilty as charged 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2502 I just dropped off my daughter for her first year at school. 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2503 Have you heard the joke about two metaphors sitting on one bar stool? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2504 And the worm thiiiis big! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2505 Well...what SHOULD I drink like? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2506 Yes! You heard it right, I want some fish sticks! 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2507 I would not be here if I took the bait. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2508 Of course I do. Problem? 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
2509 I tell you, ...She had me by the gilles 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2510 'Upstream' doesn't begin to describe it. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2511 I'll have my usual Joe; double-martini - not too dry. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
2512 I need 20 more drinks, please. My whole school is here. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2513 Like I said, I drink like a fish. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2514 Listen. I'm not drinking "like" anything. Okay? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2515 Whiskey and water—lots and lots of water 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2516 The bar scene makes me feel like a fish out of water 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2517 I don't have an ID! Are you blind? I'm a fish. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2518 I’m not supposed to be at the bar. My wife says I drink like a fish. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2519 What do I want? What do you think I want?? WATER!!! 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2520 ... But on MY scales of one to ten, I’m fine. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2521 It’s just not right, I mean you never us saying, “I think I smell something humany going on around here.” 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2522 Well, duh, I do drink like a fish. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2523 Scotch and water -- and make sure you change the water every week. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2524 I know exactly what I drink like. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2525 You try drinking like a fish, fins and a martini is a real challenge. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2526 So a red herring walks into a bar... 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2527 „Life was a lot easier in that little glass bowl...!“ 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2528 If it looks like a fish, swims like a fish, and drinks like a fish, then it probably is a fish. 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
2529 Stood up... after falling for him hook, line and sinker. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2530 Hook me up with another one Sam. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2531 no one lives there anymore...., the water is too polluted. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2532 Not only do I drink like a fish, I swim like one too 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2533 How about that Sally Hawkins in Shape of Water? What a catch. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2534 I could get hooked on this Single Malt Scotch. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2535 You pick, just mix it with water. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2536 I'll have another, I'm not diving. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2537 For the last time...stop calling me Wanda! 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2538 Salt water, please, with a dash of algae! No lemon or lime! 1.2764 0.04366 123 91 30 2
2539 Listen up. I'm a fish and I intend to drink like one. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2540 I can tell they're watered down. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2541 I can’t get that bar fly out of my mind. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2542 Wait, Wait, I Have One. . A Dolphin, A Flounder, and A Squid Walk Into A Bar... 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2543 Keep ‘em coming, Bartender...I’m nowhere near up to the gills yet 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2544 I am so glad this is not a dry state. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2545 What time do the barflies come in? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2546 I’m a fish out of water and three-sheets to the wind. Give me a break, pal 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2547 I'll have a Bass Ale with a shot of Cutty Sark on the starboard side. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2548 Despite the stereotype, I'm actually one of the few who really drinks like a fish. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2549 This game is a lie - this submission is pointless. You’ll get a hundred just like it. Winning isn’t about talent. Talent is dead. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2550 How the hell else SHOULD I drink like? 1.2764 0.04366 123 91 30 2
2551 Lucky for you I drink like one too. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2552 Well you bartend like a human! 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
2553 Don’t get koi with me, fella! 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2554 You caution that I am "drinking like a fish" as if it is a bad thing. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2555 Something to drown myself Please 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2556 So this fisherman walks into a bar..... 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2557 Just a splash. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2558 Maybe I was the one that got away? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2559 I was lured here by a drunken sailor. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2560 Another round to get that 'plastic' taste out of my gills. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2561 Yes, as a matter of fact, I can drink like a fish! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2562 Drinks are great, but your bicycle rack leaves something to be desired. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2563 Yes, I drink like a fish! I AM a fish!! 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2564 I get my share...after three drinks I look like a mermaid 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2565 I AM a fish! 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
2566 How do you expect me to drink if it’s not like a fish? 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2567 Yes, after 6 glasses, I AM out of water, why do you ask? 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
2568 You would too, if you had to swim in what I do. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2569 Oh yeah? Your mortgage underwater too? 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
2570 I've been accused of a lot, but I'm no stool pigeon. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2571 Hey bartender, I’m out of water. 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
2572 Don't say it. I hate cliches 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2573 And my house is underwater. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2574 I'll show you who drinks like a fish!!! 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2575 So when is drinking like a fish a crime? 1.2764 0.04516 123 92 28 3
2576 Sir, The waters of this world are so polluted that now I ONLY drink on the rocks 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2577 Of course there are plenty of fish in the sea. You're not listening! I'm done with fish! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2578 Not a school day, I’d guess 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2579 Okay, hit me with another “Oil Spill” but hold the plastic straw! 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2580 I know, I’m all washed up in this town 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2581 Thus the idiom, my good man. Now, serve up! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2582 I said "neat". 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2583 Do I look like I drink like a fish? 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2584 It's time to live up to my reputation. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
2585 Hit me again, Ahab! 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2586 On the rocks never goes well. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2587 I just love these new oxygen bars! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2588 And, no, I'm not here to drown my sorrows. 1.2764 0.05072 123 96 20 7
2589 You’d show more compassion if your woman were a cold-blooded, indiscriminate spawner. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
2590 Yeah, well you eat like a human. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
2591 I saw it myself Ron, your sign said “Gone Fishing”! 1.2752 0.05662 109 87 14 8
2592 Waiter, I’m out of water! 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
2593 I know I do. What did you expect. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2594 If ONE more person gives me the 'plenty more fish in the sea' line... 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
2595 And I looked him in the eye and I said “Carpe Diem, my friend” 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2596 Leonard never took LSD at the aquarium again. 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
2597 So, you’re a Sagittarius. I’m an aquarium myself. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2598 No stupid,nothing "dry" 1.2750 0.04422 120 89 29 2
2599 Mezcal with worm please. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2600 And She was the One that got away 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
2601 I just feel like I'm floundering through life. 1.2750 0.04422 120 89 29 2
2602 I don't care if you're a vegetarian restaurant, you need to serve fish 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
2603 And then she accused me of seeing a newt. Can you believe that? Me and a newt? 1.2750 0.04261 120 88 31 1
2604 I don't want any tequila; just the worm in the bottle! 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
2605 No ice, no water!!! You don't want to know what fish and sea creatures do in the water! 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
2606 Plankton on the rock please. Make it a double. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
2607 Well now you know where the expression comes from. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2608 I knew something seemed fishy about the guy, we spawned together a couple weeks back. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2609 Who drinks like a fish? 1.2735 0.05645 117 95 12 10
2610 Keep in mind sea levels are rising. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2611 Yes, I'm drunk, and spare me the pickled herring jokes. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2612 If you had to swim in the Hudson, you'd drink like a fish too. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2613 Leave the toilet seat down! 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2614 And another thing, Cuomo doesn't even like fish. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2615 Bring on the drinks. I need to get tanked! 1.2735 0.04481 117 87 28 2
2616 Another scotch and water, please, and hold the scotch. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2617 Gimme a water, and make it a double! 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2618 I'll just have some water, thank you. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2619 Hit me again. I'm out of water. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2620 I'll have a martini - wet. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2621 I didn’t create the rising sea levels. You did. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2622 It's not easy being the one that got away! 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2623 ...like a fish. I never heard that one before. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2624 And then she said I wasn’t a catch. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2625 I'll give you three reasons why we are in a dream: I'm a giant fish. We're both able to breath, and you're G. Gordon Liddy. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2626 I didn’t always drink like a fish. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2627 Don't even say it. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2628 And now you know where the saying comes from. You're welcome. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2629 I don't really like tequila. But I'm hooked on those damn worms. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2630 A dry martini on the rocks with two fresh anchovies, please" 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2631 I always feel like a fish out of water. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2632 I got at least a dozen fish stories that beat that one. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2633 My wife thinks I drink like a fish. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2634 Say I'm over the legal limit one more time, pal. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2635 Can I get a shot of sardine juice? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2636 Yeah yeah I drink like a fish, like I haven't heard That one a million times. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2637 She looked nothing like her profile -- second catfish this week. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2638 So just what the hell am I supposed to drink like"? ["supposed" should be underlined 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2639 I'll have a martini straight up two worms 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2640 Thanks, I’m just happy to be off the hook! 1.2735 0.04313 117 86 30 1
2641 Nothing too strong, I'm slippery when wet. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2642 Yeah, so. I am a fish. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2643 I come home as a prize in a ping-pong ball carnival game, and thirty years later they throw me out for getting too big for my tank. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2644 I gotta get tanked 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2645 Whatever Wanda wants . . . 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2646 Do I look like a freshwater fish to you? Just bring me the bottle. 1.2735 0.04313 117 86 30 1
2647 The Rabbi and the Priest will be here shortly. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2648 Watch it, buddy—you don’t hear me saying you pollute waterways like a human. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2649 And that was the last time I played Marco Polo. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2650 Man, I just want something to take my mind off my troubles . . . all I hear in the swamp is immunity this and subpoena that, and it's getting so crowded in there I can't breathe. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2651 I'll get polluted in my own way, thanks! 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2652 One body of water, please. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2653 Well, I'm sipping your top-shelf Scotch. Not bad for a fish out of water. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2654 No, I am not out of water. Why do you keep asking me that? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2655 So you're telling me should scale back? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2656 I bet you think I drink like a fish. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2657 Don't worry Larry, there's plenty fish in the sea 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2658 Listen, Joe, I don't care how long this bull market run is - my house is still under water. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2659 ...so then he tells me they have to let me go because I'm spending too much time in the water cooler... 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2660 Everyone treats me like a fish out of water. 1.2735 0.04481 117 87 28 2
2661 There was water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2662 I'll have a double water, with a splash of brine." M. Hirsh Goldberg Baltimore, Marylan 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2663 Have I told you about the one that got away? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2664 Sorry, Charlie. I have to cut you off. You’re clearly filled to the gills. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2665 Who are YOU sleeping with these days? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2666 I can handle the mezcal. It's the damned worm thats got me hooked. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2667 Look, I can tell when it's been cut with water! 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2668 Well what do you expect me to drink like? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2669 Water please, the whole bottle. I dropped out of school. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2670 Like a fish out of water, that's how I feel! 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2671 Bourbon... on the lake. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2672 So I say to her, "Oh yeah? Well, you're coldblooded too". 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2673 Listen Einstein...I'm supposed to drink like a fish! 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2674 Well, how do you think you would feel if YOU were expelled from your school? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2675 I can't go home. I got kicked outta school. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2676 I picked the devil over the deep blue sea. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2677 these should take the sting out of being a threatened species. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2678 I'm dying for a glass of water. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2679 That's right pal, I drink like a frish because I AM a firsh. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2680 Listen, I'm telling you: there are NOT plenty of fish on the land. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2681 I always could drink like a fish. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2682 Because I AM a fish. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2683 Make it a double. I’m dying of thirst. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2684 Just serve like a man. 1.2735 0.04481 117 87 28 2
2685 I'll have an anything-and-water. 1.2735 0.04139 117 85 32 0
2686 Another whiskey. That Captain Morgan killed my brother. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2687 Is it dry in here? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2688 Yes, of course white.... 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2689 I drink like a fish? Hey, pal, that's a microaggression. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2690 My friends are hanging out at a sushi bar. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2691 In this case, I am drinking as a fish. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2692 Touché. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2693 And you eat like a pig. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2694 Aren't you stating the obvious? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2695 So I said to her, “What, am I supposed to drink like a horse?” 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2696 Leave the worm. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2697 Surprise me . . . but nothing dry! 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2698 What are you looking at? Never seen a 300lb talking trout walk into your bar, hop up onto a stool and pound six shots of tequila before? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2699 Ahh, the worm in the tequila. Carp diem hombre. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2700 How did you know I'm from a small pond? 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2701 Don't ever mention that movie again -- my ex-wife's name is Wanda! 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2702 Well don’t you want to see how a REAL fish drinks? 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2703 You know what Gerald, fuck you. No, fuck you. I'm sober. Fuck you. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2704 Out of water again? 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2705 Go ahead...say that again. I drink like a what? 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2706 It’s true. I drink like a human. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2707 Yeah, I drink like a fish. A goldfish, buster. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2708 If you're going to tell me I drink like a fish...... 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2709 Yeah, yeah, I've heard them all before. Just keep'em coming. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2710 Do you work for scale? 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2711 '"And so I said 'get your bass out of my house.'" 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2712 This drink tastes fishy. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2713 You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him fish. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2714 My river dried up so I came here to drown my sorrows. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2715 Six shots of air, neat. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2716 They say there’s a lot of fish in the ocean, but I have more success with the women I meet in bars. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2717 So I drink like a fish, what's it to you! 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2718 Hey buddy, who are you calling tanked?! 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2719 Make it one for my herring, and one more for the road. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2720 As a matter of fact, yes I do drink like a fish. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2721 Drinking like a fish is your problem, not mine. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2722 I’m sorry, we don’t serve fresh fish here. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2723 So I says to the principal, 'Hire me as a substitute, and I can feed their minds for a day. Give me a contract and I can teach the little bastards for a lifetime.' 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2724 I’m out of water. 1.2735 0.05513 117 94 14 9
2725 I can't get a date. They all seem to be playing koi. 1.2735 0.04642 117 88 26 3
2726 Well, yes, I am a fish out of water but that's no reason to cut me off. 1.2735 0.05378 117 93 16 8
2727 Excuse me, I’m out of water. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2728 Yeah, I need a bicycle too 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2729 You can never add too much water. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2730 Can you call me a crab? I mean a cab? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2731 Just what kind of watering hole are you running here? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2732 just some water please. 1.2735 0