Contest #625


Cartoon

625

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “A lot has happened since your last at-bat.”
  2. “Yeah, I hate the throwback uniforms, too.”
  3. “This explains the art work in the dugout.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-07-29T23:09:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-08-19T23:11:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-08-13T23:10:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued August 20, 2018
Number of captions 5681
Number of responses 1326529
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 No, sir, this is Fenway. You're looking for Jurassic Park. 2.0994 0.00546 20166 5148 7866 7152
1 Remember, if I catch the ball you stop trying to hit it. 1.9794 0.00609 17199 5658 6238 5303
2 I’d say your timing’s a bit off. 1.9532 0.00587 17437 5668 6917 4852
3 How long you been with the club? 1.9509 0.00588 17737 5901 6806 5030
4 Yes, I know what an ‘out’ is. I’m a Neanderthal, not a moron. 1.9119 0.00757 10964 3965 4000 2999
5 That's not why I'm squatting. 1.8999 0.00638 16141 6185 5386 4570
6 Look, pal, the game has evolved. 1.8780 0.00617 14916 5252 6232 3432
7 Is it true you played for Cleveland the year they won the Series? 1.8702 0.00656 14886 5865 5088 3933
8 Yeah, I hate the throwback uniforms too. 1.8595 0.00685 13143 5110 4769 3264
9 This isn't a normal side effect Kenny.. how much of it did you take?! 1.8422 0.00649 15548 6509 4983 4056
10 When I heard a new batter had been recruited from B.C., I naturally assumed Boston College. 1.8418 0.00649 14023 5422 5398 3203
11 The irony here is that millions of guys are watching this game in their man-caves. 1.8331 0.00661 13553 5333 5149 3071
12 Spent a while in the minors, eh? 1.8191 0.00672 12747 5033 4987 2727
13 Sorry buddy... this is Fenway Park, not Jurassic Park. 1.8159 0.00735 11207 4610 4050 2547
14 I wouldn't slide if I were you. 1.7433 0.00765 9961 4510 3498 1953
15 Don't worry, one day you'll be able to stand upright too. 1.7380 0.00783 9817 4576 3237 2004
16 You swing like a gatherer. 1.7236 0.01029 5857 2849 1778 1230
17 Why do you catch it, if you're not gonna eat it? 1.7059 0.01021 5601 2699 1850 1052
18 Finally got called up, eh? 1.7019 0.00744 9845 4590 3600 1655
19 "There is no point. Just hit the ball. 1.7016 0.01394 2999 1455 984 560
20 This explains the artwork in the dugout. 1.6943 0.00980 5796 2770 2028 998
21 Still no shoe endorsement, huh? 1.6914 0.00761 9356 4424 3395 1537
22 I'll bet your baseball card is worth a lot. 1.6815 0.00936 6534 3242 2131 1161
23 Watch out. His fastball is on fire, if that term means anything to you. 1.6799 0.00837 8050 3970 2687 1393
24 I've been carbon-dating your sister. 1.6611 0.00996 6019 3163 1733 1123
25 This is Fenway Park, not Jurassic Park. 1.6608 0.00910 6880 3521 2172 1187
26 Maybe the games do last too long. 1.6533 0.00969 5882 2996 1929 957
27 When he says ‘strike’, don’t. 1.6397 0.01069 4760 2462 1551 747
28 Coach has you really taking the Paleo seriously these days, huh? 1.6391 0.01051 4772 2430 1634 708
29 Baseball confusing game. How can man walk with four balls? 1.6273 0.01067 5299 2954 1366 979
30 Well, well...now look who's standing upright and who isn't. 1.6235 0.00985 5599 2971 1765 863
31 I see you made the club. 1.6195 0.01058 4775 2531 1530 714
32 Could be worse. Our throwback uniform is a fig leaf. 1.6135 0.01677 1886 1005 605 276
33 Other than instant replay it's pretty much the same 1.5992 0.02102 1215 667 368 180
34 A lot has happened since your last at bat. 1.5946 0.00966 5501 2978 1775 748
35 Actually, the Cubs did finally win. 1.5843 0.01092 4431 2475 1323 633
36 Oh so you're the bunter-gatherer everyone's talking about. 1.5790 0.02497 829 462 254 113
37 um...I'm here for the Trump rally 1.5787 0.01231 3990 2401 869 720
38 Still eating paleo? 1.5723 0.00885 6701 3803 1961 937
39 So you're the mammoth slugger people are talking about. 1.5688 0.01253 3198 1789 999 410
40 Do me a favor, and if you slide into home, come in head-first 1.5655 0.01106 4092 2299 1272 521
41 I was told I would be fighting against tigers sent in from Detroit. 1.5652 0.01502 2210 1240 691 279
42 You got this - he's been throwing rocks all day. 1.5525 0.01033 4610 2627 1419 564
43 You're back? I thought you retired like a million years ago! 1.5454 0.01162 3704 2151 1086 467
44 You know they are going to check you for steroids. 1.5208 0.01107 3871 2290 1146 435
45 You must have spent a long time in the minors. 1.5207 0.01023 4375 2553 1366 456
46 For the last time, you have to hit the ball BEFORE it's in my glove. 1.5127 0.02252 907 537 275 95
47 You’ll fit in perfectly, as long as you stand for the anthem. 1.5119 0.01578 2051 1268 516 267
48 They said if I made the club i could play 1.5090 0.01698 1670 1013 464 193
49 It looks counterintuitive, but I'm what you evolved to. 1.5069 0.01230 3186 1940 877 369
50 Isn't this the best Old-Timers' Day ever? 1.5044 0.01216 3164 1912 908 344
51 You're history. 1.5019 0.01618 1801 1096 506 199
52 Flintstone? He was traded to the Colorado Rockies. 1.5014 0.01295 2832 1730 784 318
53 Finally. It felt like I was in the minors for a thousand years. 1.5013 0.01239 3048 1852 864 332
54 We don't get that many bunter-gatherers here in the big leagues. 1.4996 0.01328 2822 1761 712 349
55 I've been sitting on the bench for ages. 1.4949 0.01333 2558 1553 744 261
56 I only hit what I can eat 1.4932 0.01362 2500 1534 699 267
57 You might want to dial it back a bit on the steroids. 1.4929 0.02874 562 345 157 60
58 They really stepped it up for Old Timers' Day this year 1.4919 0.01615 1736 1058 502 176
59 Say what you will, being a designated hitter has kept a lot of us old guys in the game. 1.4910 0.01354 2436 1479 718 239
60 Let me guess: you’re gonna hit it back to the Stone Age. 1.4897 0.03372 435 275 107 53
61 You gotta retire at some point, Damon. 1.4858 0.01696 1585 978 444 163
62 Look, I don't care if you discovered fire, three strikes means you're out! 1.4821 0.01513 2097 1327 529 241
63 When your manager says ‘sacrifice,’ he’s not talking about me. 1.4794 0.01523 1946 1209 541 196
64 I do believe you are batting out of geological order 1.4779 0.01567 1900 1198 496 206
65 First time with the big club? 1.4767 0.01564 1913 1210 494 209
66 Strike!” Doesn’t mean hit me 1.4760 0.01524 1874 1156 544 174
67 You're ages late. 1.4752 0.01548 1875 1171 517 187
68 You're early man. 1.4717 0.01768 1539 991 370 178
69 My God. How long were you on deck? 1.4716 0.01630 1743 1107 450 186
70 Now that you're upright, we're gonna walk you. 1.4716 0.01586 1760 1100 490 170
71 I hate Old Timers day 1.4683 0.01658 1672 1065 431 176
72 Yeah, the game's evolving too. 1.4680 0.01602 1654 1025 484 145
73 Bob, maybe it's time to rethink that Paleo Diet. 1.4646 0.01721 1569 1009 391 169
74 Do you also talk softly? 1.4644 0.01725 1546 991 392 163
75 Ladies and gentleman, next up to bat...President Trump as seen by the rest of the planet! 1.4644 0.02039 1277 864 233 180
76 Just remember, no one wants to see you slide in that thing. 1.4642 0.01716 1508 955 406 147
77 If this doesn't work out, you could always get a job at the White House." 1.4628 0.02027 1236 824 252 160
78 These throwback uniforms are getting outta control. 1.4613 0.01766 1487 961 366 160
79 I just think The Barbarians is an insensitive team name, that's all. 1.4605 0.03779 304 192 84 28
80 This time, try swinging horizontally. 1.4602 0.02500 728 468 185 75
81 Unless you're wearing underwear, I wouldn't slide into any base. 1.4582 0.01762 1412 899 379 134
82 The old timers game is next week. 1.4573 0.01776 1406 900 369 137
83 I'm assuming you came out of left field. 1.4535 0.01827 1354 878 338 138
84 So, just how long were you in the minors? 1.4525 0.01856 1304 845 328 131
85 This this Fenway, you must be looking for Jurassic. 1.4506 0.02249 932 616 212 104
86 This is my first time up with the big club 1.4493 0.01942 1233 813 286 134
87 Gary, you’re a mascot. You can’t actually play. 1.4482 0.01934 1216 797 293 126
88 Ooog's on first? I don't get it... 1.4478 0.01923 1226 803 297 126
89 If he yells strike,don't. 1.4476 0.01889 1222 790 317 115
90 It's round..Like a wheel. Oh, but you don't know that yet. 1.4463 0.01890 1201 774 318 109
91 The pitcher's on fire? What's fire? 1.4451 0.01938 1175 766 295 114
92 How about you call for a fastball down the middle; and I won’t accidentally pound you into the ground 1.4448 0.02506 724 477 172 75
93 There's no time limit in this game. If it takes 3 million years, it takes 3 million years! 1.4442 0.01983 1094 708 286 100
94 Want me to tell you what's coming? How about I tell you what's coming? Fastball, slider, competition with a superior species and mass extinction. 1.4413 0.02098 1047 697 238 112
95 Be calm. He’s not throwing AT you. 1.4397 0.02072 1094 735 237 122
96 How long did you say you were in the minors? 1.4355 0.01944 1024 650 302 72
97 Yes, I do feel like this game is taking forever. 1.4342 0.02071 958 621 258 79
98 Yes, you hit it. No, you don't get to eat it. 1.4337 0.02001 996 640 280 76
99 It makes me VERY nervous that you're looking in the wrong direction. 1.4334 0.02065 999 656 253 90
100 So have you noticed any side effects from the steroids? 1.4324 0.02132 999 671 224 104
101 Don't worry, the game hasn't changed much. 1.4317 0.02035 996 649 264 83
102 Speak softly. 1.4298 0.02096 968 639 242 87
103 So, how long did you say you were in the minor leagues? 1.4298 0.02013 968 623 274 71
104 Just so we’re clear here... I’m not really a tiger. 1.4284 0.02190 929 624 212 93
105 Cocktails and Opera at the Met after the game? 1.4280 0.02286 944 657 170 117
106 It really has been a while since Cleveland won the series. 1.4280 0.02199 930 627 208 95
107 I invented this game 1.4254 0.02147 912 604 228 80
108 Let me guess...you also speak softly. 1.4250 0.02151 913 606 226 81
109 You built it, so I came 1.4242 0.02224 884 594 205 85
110 You have a chance to make prehistory here. 1.4241 0.02174 896 596 220 80
111 Wow, the designated hitter rule appears to have really extended your career. 1.4235 0.02179 876 580 221 75
112 These throwback jerseys are getting ridiculous. 1.4226 0.02242 892 606 195 91
113 Republican Party Headquarters? Turn right on Elm Street. 1.4224 0.02424 805 557 156 92
114 I hear they call you the Natural. 1.4206 0.02207 863 576 211 76
115 Oh, great, another hipster ballplayer with a beard and a homemade organic bat. 1.4204 0.02233 842 562 206 74
116 'Amazing how much the game has evolved. 1.4199 0.02094 855 552 247 56
117 Remember! After I catch the ball you have to stop hitting it! 1.4195 0.02207 839 556 214 69
118 Actually... most players have beards, you’ll blend right in. 1.4190 0.03222 389 257 101 31
119 I'm not pooping, I'm the catcher. 1.4189 0.02307 814 550 187 77
120 Did you just call me a homosapien? 1.4184 0.02274 827 557 194 76
121 I'm guessing they'll want a urine test from you after the game. 1.4184 0.02257 839 565 197 77
122 Well, I hope you're wearing underwear this time! 1.4171 0.02271 784 520 201 63
123 We have to wait for someone to invent the ball. 1.4168 0.02345 823 566 171 86
124 Is it just me, or does a baseball game seem to take ages? 1.4153 0.02315 809 550 182 77
125 Lemme guess... First time? 1.4147 0.02400 791 547 160 84
126 Sure Buddy, go ahead. Knock it into the Stone Age. 1.4143 0.02281 799 537 193 69
127 Now THAT's a throwback uniform. 1.4136 0.02265 793 530 198 65
128 Three yabadabadoos and you're out. 1.4132 0.02544 634 425 156 53
129 This may be difficult for you to grasp, but he's throwing fire tonight. 1.4130 0.02351 782 533 175 74
130 When the man behind me yells, "Strike!" , do not hit me! Got it? 1.4127 0.02384 710 474 179 57
131 Do you have to drag your wife here to watch you play? 1.4123 0.02400 747 509 168 70
132 I liked your drawings in the clubhouse. 1.4116 0.02270 758 502 200 56
133 You're about to learn how to count to three. 1.4098 0.02534 654 444 152 58
134 It'll be a crime if I don't get Comeback Player of the Year. 1.4071 0.02359 737 499 176 62
135 Go ahead, call me Fred Flintstone one more time. 1.4054 0.02418 708 482 165 61
136 You must be here for the Really Old Timer's game. 1.4042 0.02371 710 479 175 56
137 I'm going to make baseball great again. 1.4040 0.02514 708 495 140 73
138 When the ump says 'Strike', he doesn't mean him with your club. 1.4023 0.02395 696 471 170 55
139 Now that you're erect, how would you feel about an intentional walk.. 1.4020 0.02408 694 471 167 56
140 We invented fire and this is the best thing you guys could come up with? 1.4015 0.02469 680 466 155 59
141 I hope that's not real fur. 1.4012 0.02481 658 448 156 54
142 Look -- 'strike one' is a statement, not a command. 1.4008 0.02956 484 334 106 44
143 Slugger, maybe it's time to ease off the paleo diet. 1.3988 0.02492 667 459 150 58
144 I see why they call you "Shoeless Joe." 1.3963 0.02446 641 433 162 46
145 I hear you speak softly! 1.3960 0.02454 649 441 159 49
146 I think you might be taking this Paleo diet a bit too far, Carl. 1.3959 0.02510 639 438 149 52
147 Bunter and Gatherer 1.3953 0.02454 645 438 159 48
148 Do you think they’re taking throwback uniforms too far? 1.3953 0.02493 645 442 151 52
149 Don't argue with the ump. He's a Neanderthal. 1.3952 0.02584 630 438 135 57
150 It looks like we have a Trump supporter coming to bat. 1.3952 0.02769 620 448 99 73
151 Sorry, the rules say you need protective headgear and underwear. 1.3949 0.02516 633 434 148 51
152 Can you believe it? 5,297,345,498,712,842 innings and we’re STILL tied! 1.3949 0.02540 628 432 144 52
153 So you must be the bottom of the order? 1.3949 0.02503 623 424 152 47
154 We've all tried the vintage uniforms, but the vintage bat is something special. 1.3940 0.02448 632 427 161 44
155 Everybody warned you taking steroids would have side effects. 1.3926 0.02540 624 430 143 51
156 Love those throwback uniforms. 1.3919 0.02468 620 420 157 43
157 You're late. 1.3918 0.02623 582 401 134 47
158 For this I was unfrozen? 1.3915 0.02896 493 343 107 43
159 Well, well. The bunter-gatherer returns. 1.3912 0.02583 616 428 135 53
160 Boston No Sox? 1.3910 0.02658 578 401 128 49
161 You have my vote for Comeback Player of the Year. 1.3907 0.02603 581 399 137 45
162 I bet you hit like my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother. 1.3904 0.02582 602 416 137 49
163 Designated hominoid”. Very funny. Never heard that one before. 1.3902 0.03006 410 277 106 27
164 Yeah the baseball age is almost over too. 1.3897 0.02503 603 410 151 42
165 Am I late? 1.3896 0.02734 575 406 114 55
166 I'm assuming you won't be bunting. 1.3894 0.02483 606 411 154 41
167 No worries, with that beard you fit right in. 1.3894 0.02538 606 416 144 46
168 You should wear a helmet. The pitcher is a creationist. 1.3890 0.02854 545 389 100 56
169 Smart to wait until the money got good. 1.3886 0.02531 597 408 146 43
170 Just play by the rules, ok? You're not here to reinvent the wheel. 1.3880 0.02619 549 374 137 38
171 If you don't swing I will show you how to make fire. 1.3868 0.02756 517 357 120 40
172 The pitcher's gotta see your knees. 1.3867 0.02559 587 403 141 43
173 Ya know, the Yankees are going to make you shave that beard! 1.3863 0.02632 585 408 128 49
174 The ump told me to tell you that you’re out. 1.3863 0.02587 585 404 136 45
175 Just run to first if you hit it. No need to reinvent the... never mind. 1.3848 0.02641 564 391 129 44
176 It may be your turn, but it's not your time. 1.3842 0.02525 570 387 147 36
177 Now remember, after you hit the ball you don't run after it and skin it." 1.3840 0.02889 500 353 102 45
178 Obviously you made the club. 1.3829 0.02840 491 342 110 39
179 Well, if it isn’t the player to be named later. 1.3822 0.02692 552 386 121 45
180 How’s Wilma? 1.3822 0.02816 518 365 108 45
181 Before we get started here, I just want to make sure that your definition of "strike" is the same as mine. 1.3818 0.02520 550 371 148 31
182 You was right, Yogi. The future ain't what it used to be. 1.3813 0.02725 556 393 114 49
183 I don't care about the rest, but you should wear a cup! 1.3813 0.02616 556 384 132 40
184 Our owner took throwback​ jersey night a little too far. 1.3813 0.02541 556 378 144 34
185 HOMER Erectus! 1.3810 0.02884 517 370 97 50
186 "Really, your first old timers game?" 1.3809 0.02647 554 385 127 42
187 I’m here for old timers day 1.3809 0.02659 554 386 125 43
188 I'm on loan from the Smithsonian 1.3809 0.02767 554 395 107 52
189 Just making a wild guess here, but you might wanna cut back on the steroids. 1.3804 0.02628 552 382 130 40
190 Beard, hair, the throwback uniform-you're gonna fit right in. 1.3800 0.02609 550 379 133 38
191 These retro uniforms are getting out of hand, if you ask me. 1.3800 0.02635 550 381 129 40
192 This is a pastime, not a past time. 1.3789 0.02702 541 379 119 43
193 Something tells me you're not a bunter 1.3781 0.02583 529 360 138 31
194 Does this new uniform make me look fat? 1.3773 0.03122 432 309 83 40
195 You guys take this old timers game way too seriously 1.3772 0.02535 517 347 145 25
196 I don't care what Coach Rubble told you, Bam-Bam, it's not a regulation bat. 1.3769 0.02747 528 372 113 43
197 I'm guessing you're not up here to bunt. 1.3769 0.02708 528 369 119 40
198 I hope you don't have to slide, bro. 1.3766 0.02684 531 370 122 39
199 It's the top of the 21st. 1.3766 0.02825 531 381 100 50
200 I see you're a heavy hitter. 1.3766 0.02670 531 369 124 38
201 I would have done NASCAR but we haven't invented the wheel yet. 1.3764 0.02688 526 366 122 38
202 You're playing with the wrong club. 1.3762 0.02703 529 370 119 40
203 They said you were old school. 1.3760 0.02598 524 358 135 31
204 Sigh. Where do the Yankees find you guys. 1.3755 0.02774 506 355 112 39
205 So you're the pinch hunter-gatherer. 1.3745 0.02756 518 365 112 41
206 So "strike" has a COUPLE of meanings... 1.3740 0.02637 516 355 129 32
207 That's four. Walk upright to first. 1.3739 0.02786 476 330 114 32
208 How did you guys do against the Tigers? 1.3735 0.02686 514 357 122 35
209 Well, this is certainly a prehistoric moment. 1.3723 0.02732 505 353 116 36
210 Ah. So we're back to squatting. 1.3717 0.02771 487 340 113 34
211 I just learned how to intentionally walk 1.3712 0.02762 493 345 113 35
212 You're Out! Do I have to draw you a picture? 1.3702 0.02761 497 349 112 36
213 If he hits me l hit you 1.3701 0.02851 489 348 101 40
214 Three strikes and I'm out? One strike and you're out. 1.3696 0.02844 487 346 102 39
215 Someone painted a Bison on my locker know anything about that? 1.3693 0.02865 482 343 100 39
216 I already know the answer, but I still have to ask--is that a regulation bat? 1.3689 0.02718 488 339 118 31
217 If you've never seen a wheel, a ball may be a bit of a stretch. 1.3685 0.02824 445 308 110 27
218 Just up from the bush league? 1.3684 0.02784 475 332 111 32
219 I have a feeling you are going to be randomly selected for a drug test after this game. 1.3683 0.02772 486 341 111 34
220 Just be careful with the backswing, OK? 1.3671 0.02803 474 333 108 33
221 You're the first pro magnon. 1.3667 0.02855 480 342 100 38
222 You guys are throwing way, way back with those uniforms. 1.3667 0.02715 480 333 118 29
223 What’s your bashing average? 1.3667 0.02731 480 334 116 30
224 Just so you understand ... it's the ball you hit ... ok ? 1.3665 0.02778 472 330 111 31
225 So you're the one not on steroids? 1.3665 0.02842 472 334 103 35
226 Once I decided to grow the beard, the rest was easy. 1.3655 0.02713 476 330 118 28
227 The scouting report on you says you carry a big stick, but you have no wheels. 1.3652 0.02877 471 336 98 37
228 They did drug test me. 1.3652 0.02797 471 331 108 32
229 This 'throwback uniform' thing is getting out of hand. 1.3650 0.02848 474 337 101 36
230 Dude, I'm so stoned. 1.3632 0.02920 457 327 94 36
231 Do I look like I’m about to bunt? 1.3629 0.03035 463 340 78 45
232 Really? How long have you been in the minors? 1.3629 0.02744 463 322 114 27
233 Still walking softly, eh? 1.3626 0.02895 455 324 97 34
234 I just got called up from the Pro-Magnon League. 1.3626 0.02929 455 326 93 36
235 There are no actual tigers. We are the Detroit Tigers. 1.3624 0.02849 458 324 102 32
236 How long did they keep you in the minors? 1.3624 0.02915 458 328 94 36
237 Let me guess. You're up from the bush leagues? 1.3624 0.02798 458 321 108 29
238 We're the Tigers. The Mammoths are playing next door. 1.3624 0.02729 458 317 116 25
239 My E.R.A.? 10,000 b.c. 1.3624 0.02929 436 309 96 31
240 Well, it's a metaphorical home. 1.3618 0.02840 456 322 103 31
241 According to Ancestry.com we are related. 1.3597 0.02881 442 313 99 30
242 The bat says it is legal. Wanna argue with it? 1.3597 0.02881 442 313 99 30
243 My uniform? Beaver. I find wool too itchy and polyester too hot. 1.3594 0.02889 448 319 97 32
244 One of us is having a very strange day. 1.3594 0.02872 448 318 99 31
245 This time, don't eat it after you club it. 1.3591 0.02853 440 310 102 28
246 The game kinda evolved! 1.3587 0.02755 446 310 112 24
247 You the guy who speaks softly? 1.3587 0.02915 446 319 94 33
248 Of course I can walk upright! 1.3583 0.02902 441 314 96 31
249 So, you're the guy who has to carry the club on his shoulders. 1.3583 0.02884 441 313 98 30
250 I don’t care how thick your skull is - you still need a batting helmet. 1.3583 0.02812 441 309 106 26
251 I guess if you count the umpires, yes, you have had two hits today. 1.3573 0.02987 403 285 92 26
252 When they shouted KILL THE UMPIRE, they didn’t mean it literally. 1.3573 0.03089 403 290 82 31
253 While his baseball career was otherwise undistinguished, Zekk son-of-Krob is widely credited with the first walk in history. 1.3573 0.02910 431 306 96 29
254 Gonna knock one back to the Stone Age this time, whiffer boy? 1.3570 0.02937 437 313 92 32
255 Its not the ball I'm worried about. 1.3570 0.02919 437 312 94 31
256 I don't mean to profile, but I'm guessing you're looking for the clubhouse? 1.3570 0.02809 437 306 106 25
257 Oh, great. Another GEICO commercial. 1.3566 0.02900 429 304 97 28
258 The most difficult aspect of this was the required change in my swing from the vertical to the horizontal. 1.3566 0.02881 429 303 99 27
259 Yo' mama still livin' in Bedrock? 1.3558 0.02857 430 303 101 26
260 Kill the ump" is just a saying. They didn't mean it. 1.3558 0.02819 430 301 105 24
261 Wow, how long have we been playing? 1.3557 0.02824 433 304 104 25
262 It's all good,the pitcher is throwing rocks today anyway. 1.3557 0.02972 433 312 88 33
263 I get it: Pinstripes don't work for everybody. 1.3551 0.02903 428 304 96 28
264 My dad didn’t want me doing cave art anymore. 1.3545 0.02912 426 303 95 28
265 So you're tellin me, you all get paid to hit things with sticks? 1.3541 0.03026 418 302 84 32
266 Aluminium, composite or stegosaurus? 1.3541 0.03007 418 301 86 31
267 When the umpire calls a strike DON’T hit me! 1.3539 0.02756 421 291 111 19
268 He's going to try to walk you. You can walk, right? 1.3534 0.02978 416 298 89 29
269 On this next pitch, try to hit the ball instead. 1.3531 0.02851 422 297 101 24
270 When the man says strike, he doesn’t mean me! 1.3531 0.02851 422 297 101 24
271 Old school hitter. I like that. 1.3531 0.02851 422 297 101 24
272 Initially, I just stopped shaving. 1.3531 0.03023 422 306 83 33
273 Call me a Luddite, but I don’t trust aluminum bats. 1.3531 0.03042 422 307 81 34
274 Strike one what? 1.3525 0.02812 417 291 105 21
275 How many contract extensions have you had? 1.3525 0.02873 417 294 99 24
276 You can’t tell me my stance is primitive when you’re only semi-erect. 1.3522 0.03007 406 291 87 28
277 Homo Erectus, huh? Better watch yourself in the locker room. 1.3519 0.03126 395 287 77 31
278 That guy you smashed over the head and dragged off the field last inning is called the umpire. 1.3498 0.02942 406 289 92 25
279 It's three on and two out in bottom of the ninth, not that you can count. 1.3498 0.02921 406 288 94 24
280 Up from the bush league? 1.3496 0.02802 409 285 105 19
281 Are we in a Geico commercial? 1.3496 0.03067 409 298 79 32
282 You're not really from the Dominican Republic, are you? 1.3496 0.03028 409 296 83 30
283 That was a long inning! 1.3496 0.03048 409 297 81 31
284 What, were you born yesterday? Go get a helmet. 1.3490 0.02972 404 289 89 26
285 What are you, some kind of a Neanderthal? Put on a helmet! 1.3490 0.03013 404 291 85 28
286 Listen, you drew a walk. Erect or not is up to you. 1.3490 0.02909 404 286 95 23
287 Hey Bamm Bamm,Remember me? Mr Flintstone was our Little League coach ages ago. 1.3483 0.03553 290 209 61 20
288 I've heard you're a heavy hitter 1.3483 0.02939 402 286 92 24
289 The Natural 1.3476 0.03150 397 292 72 33
290 It's the thing that looks like a wheel, but rounder. 1.3474 0.02891 403 285 96 22
291 Just try to make contact. You don't have to kill it. 1.3469 0.03031 392 282 84 26
292 Don't tell me--you bat right, but you hunt left? 1.3467 0.02978 398 285 88 25
293 Normally, the batter wears a protective helmet, but something tells me you're going to be OK. 1.3467 0.02935 398 283 92 23
294 No, you can't hit him first to keep him from throwing the ball at you. 1.3467 0.03062 398 289 80 29
295 Honestly? I'd just tell her how you feel. 1.3465 0.03113 381 276 78 27
296 He’s throwing fire, but I guess you don’t know what that is. 1.3460 0.03051 396 287 81 28
297 What's your ERA? 1.3460 0.03030 396 286 83 27
298 I can teach you how to stand upright. 1.3455 0.03084 382 276 80 26
299 How many years were you down in the minors? 1.3441 0.03069 372 267 82 23
300 we usually don't cave till the ninth inning. 1.3436 0.03247 358 262 69 27
301 It's for a GEICO ad. 1.3429 0.03146 382 280 73 29
302 Let me guess...you thought I was gonna be a leftie. 1.3429 0.03012 382 274 85 23
303 Throwback uniform day is tomorrow, Frank. 1.3429 0.02974 385 275 88 22
304 What's the point of anything, really? 1.3429 0.03193 385 285 68 32
305 There's no grunting in baseball. 1.3429 0.03063 385 279 80 26
306 So you're the living proof ....the games are too long. 1.3421 0.03068 380 275 80 25
307 Not to make you nervous, but Fred and Wilma are in the bleachers. 1.3421 0.02999 380 272 86 22
308 Back in my day the catcher didn't wear a mask. 1.3421 0.02952 380 270 90 20
309 When was the last time you played? 1.3415 0.03106 369 267 78 24
310 I don't much care for the throwback uniforms either! 1.3413 0.03055 378 273 81 24
311 Paleo diet? Yeah, I know a place. 1.3413 0.03008 378 271 85 22
312 Welcome to Old Timer's Day. 1.3413 0.02938 378 268 91 19
313 I suppose you are going to tell me you found that in the club house. 1.3413 0.03055 378 273 81 24
314 oh, I get it...you plan on hitting the next ball back to the stone age 1.3413 0.03100 378 275 77 26
315 You're taking 'Throwback Night' a bit too seriously 1.3413 0.03078 378 274 79 25
316 ...here for the Ken Burns prequel. 1.3407 0.03200 361 264 71 26
317 Am I allowed to drag the pitcher around the bases by his hair? 1.3407 0.03229 364 268 68 28
318 Evolution is just a game to you people, isn't it? 1.3404 0.02907 379 268 93 18
319 Ken Burns never covered this... 1.3403 0.03032 382 276 82 24
320 There are two outs and it’s the bottom of the Eocene 1.3397 0.03037 368 264 83 21
321 You're supposed to hit the ball, just the ball, only the ball, nothing but the ball! 1.3397 0.03037 368 264 83 21
322 I'm a "presteroid" man! 1.3397 0.03203 368 271 69 28
323 They call me the home-run erectus 1.3397 0.03109 368 267 77 24
324 He likes to pitch Neanderthals high and tight . 1.3396 0.03044 371 267 82 22
325 Wow, that Paleo diet you're on is really working! 1.3396 0.02996 371 265 86 20
326 What? No shoe endorsement deal? 1.3396 0.02980 374 267 87 20
327 I heard you paint caves in the off-season. 1.3396 0.03004 374 268 85 21
328 Are you the player to be named later? 1.3396 0.03004 374 268 85 21
329 You know how Mr. Steinbrenner feels about beards. 1.3388 0.03030 369 265 83 21
330 No, that was the umpire. This time, aim for the little ball. 1.3381 0.03228 352 258 69 25
331 This your first time at bat? 1.3379 0.03040 367 264 82 21
332 That was a split-seam fastball on the lower outside corner. Any more questions? 1.3379 0.03183 367 270 70 27
333 I don’t think you can use petrified wood. 1.3370 0.02975 365 260 87 18
334 I'm hitting this one back to the Stone Age. 1.3370 0.02949 365 259 89 17
335 Go ahead, see what happens if you signal for another curve ball. 1.3361 0.03102 360 261 77 22
336 These throwback uniforms are really getting out of control. 1.3361 0.03176 360 264 71 25
337 I already told you. Dr. Who's on first. 1.3361 0.03126 360 262 75 23
338 I’m OK with you using the club as a bat, but if you’re gonna wear that getup you gotta promise not to slide feet first into home plate. 1.3361 0.03181 363 267 70 26
339 …and that's what a wheel is. Now a ball… 1.3361 0.03109 363 264 76 23
340 So, I hit ball over fence and I end up at home? Who invented this stupid game? 1.3361 0.03084 363 263 78 22
341 Spend a long time in the minor leagues ? 1.3361 0.03034 363 261 82 20
342 Nope. Never touched 'em. Why do you ask? 1.3361 0.03157 363 266 72 25
343 You're damn straight I can walk upright! 1.3361 0.03059 363 262 80 21
344 Yeah, I’m totally back on steroids. 1.3361 0.03059 363 262 80 21
345 Yep, there is no time limit in baseball. 1.3361 0.03034 363 261 82 20
346 Just so ya know, I'm gonna ask the ump to check that bat. 1.3361 0.03009 363 260 84 19
347 Were you with the Hunters or the Gatherers before being called up? 1.3352 0.03224 352 259 68 25
348 Man, what's your ERA? 1.3352 0.04602 176 130 33 13
349 You come up from the B.C. farm team? 1.3352 0.03053 355 255 81 19
350 Hey dude, I see that whole Paleo diet thing is really working for you!!! 1.3333 0.03283 354 264 62 28
351 Ok, Bam Bam, let'e see what you can do. 1.3333 0.03209 354 261 68 25
352 After four balls, you drag your knuckles to first. 1.3333 0.03222 348 256 68 24
353 Why didn’t you stand during the National Anthem? 1.3333 0.03184 354 260 70 24
354 Remember, don't take 'sacrifice hit' literally. 1.3333 0.03125 351 255 75 21
355 Exactly how long have you been in the dugout? 1.3333 0.03133 354 258 74 22
356 Fair warning; you’ll regret it if you slide into home plate in that uniform! 1.3333 0.03209 354 261 68 25
357 You can't drag the ballgirls by the hair. 1.3333 0.03222 348 256 68 24
358 I called you a Homo because that's your genus. 1.3333 0.03203 351 258 69 24
359 We stopped using rocks 10,000 years ago 1.3333 0.03133 354 258 74 22
360 You're in luck, he's throwing rocks today. 1.3333 0.03056 354 255 80 19
361 Gotta hand it to you, most guys retire after 300,000 years. 1.3333 0.03227 339 248 69 22
362 No caves...they're called dugouts. 1.3333 0.03082 354 256 78 20
363 I am not a big fan of "Throwback" uniforms either. 1.3324 0.03039 352 253 81 18
364 Old Timer's Day has gotten out of hand 1.3324 0.03066 352 254 79 19
365 No, no......you play with a club.....not with a club. 1.3324 0.03039 352 253 81 18
366 I'm hitting the next pitch back to the Stone Age. 1.3324 0.03066 352 254 79 19
367 Goin'' "old school," Champ? 1.3324 0.02903 352 248 91 13
368 After the game, want to go clubbing? 1.3324 0.03066 352 254 79 19
369 How long were you in the minors? 1.3324 0.02931 352 249 89 14
370 I got this. Been practicing for millennia. 1.3324 0.03092 352 255 77 20
371 If it does not help with my hitting, I can at least kill dinner with it. 1.3324 0.03056 349 251 80 18
372 It's an old model Louisville Slugger; they never break. 1.3324 0.03056 349 251 80 18
373 I know he said 'strike,' but he didn't mean me! 1.3324 0.03056 349 251 80 18
374 Sorry sir, you misunderstand. Tigers is just the name of our team. 1.3324 0.03136 349 254 74 21
375 If I hit it, can I eat it? 1.3324 0.03239 349 258 66 25
376 Here's the Deal, you strike out and I'll teach you how to make fire. 1.3324 0.03265 349 259 64 26
377 When I was a rookie, we used to called this place Shea. 1.3314 0.03276 347 258 63 26
378 No, baseball hasn't evolved at all. 1.3314 0.02927 347 245 89 13
379 No, Ugs on first, What's on second! 1.3312 0.03377 317 234 61 22
380 You're just supposed to hit the ball, not beat it to death and eat it.... 1.3307 0.03778 251 185 49 17
381 Are you ever going to retire? 1.3294 0.03059 343 247 79 17
382 I thought the steroid era was over. 1.3294 0.03142 343 250 73 20
383 Designated hitter, I presume? 1.3294 0.03222 343 253 67 23
384 The game hasn't evolved much. 1.3294 0.02797 343 238 97 8
385 It all started when a disgruntled fan tweeted management that “Any dumb cave man could out hit your entire team.” 1.3294 0.03169 343 251 71 21
386 You must be the rookie from Bedrock. 1.3294 0.03169 343 251 71 21
387 Damn, this game is taking forever. 1.3294 0.03241 340 251 66 23
388 No, I’m signaling 1.3294 0.03347 340 255 58 27
389 ... and then they introduced the DH rule. And now you're up to date. 1.3294 0.02962 340 241 86 13
390 I don't believe it either. They finally called me up. 1.3294 0.03637 252 183 55 14
391 He’s batting .500 B.C. 1.3293 0.03226 334 245 68 21
392 We seriously need more accurate drug tests 1.3288 0.03311 295 213 67 15
393 But it was a regulation bat 40,000 years ago! 1.3283 0.03238 332 244 67 21
394 'Kill the umpire' doesn't actually mean that. 1.3274 0.03126 336 244 74 18
395 Congrats on finally being called up. 1.3273 0.03057 333 239 79 15
396 If the pitcher believes in Darwin, he'll probably walk you. 1.3270 0.03169 315 227 73 15
397 Geez. First, politics and now, baseball. 1.3263 0.03297 331 246 62 23
398 I see you're taking the divorce well, Gregg. 1.3263 0.03380 331 249 56 26
399 It takes 4 balls to get to first base? What kinds of men play this game?” 1.3263 0.03512 331 254 46 31
400 I thought the league banned the use of Neanderthal. 1.3253 0.03656 332 261 34 37
401 No, it's not a cave, it's called the dugout. 1.3252 0.03107 329 238 75 16
402 I don't care if you are from Louisville. That's not a regulation bat. 1.3247 0.03847 231 170 47 14
403 Nice. You've taken the beard trend to its logical conclusion. 1.3246 0.03931 228 169 44 15
404 That's three strikes! Can't you count? 1.3242 0.03216 330 243 67 20
405 I don't care if you have only two strikes - you're still history 1.3242 0.03273 330 245 63 22
406 Gosh, baseball really is an archaic sport. 1.3242 0.03187 330 242 69 19
407 How long have you been with the club? 1.3242 0.03187 330 242 69 19
408 The game has evolved. 1.3242 0.03148 327 238 72 17
409 Don't slide. 1.3242 0.03148 327 238 72 17
410 I have no idea where the umpire went. He called “strike three” and I assume he ran for his life. 1.3230 0.03022 322 230 80 12
411 Okay, one more time, “kill ‘em” is just an expression. 1.3230 0.02990 322 229 82 11
412 So I'm guessing you're not into analytics. 1.3230 0.03209 322 236 68 18
413 I just saved 15% on my car insurance. 1.3230 0.03268 322 238 64 20
414 Catcher: "I've HEARD that steroids could have some side effects." 1.3230 0.03148 322 234 72 16
415 Homie, I literally invented fire...but go ahead, tell your guy to bring the heat. 1.3230 0.03178 322 235 70 17
416 Why isn’t the New Yorker funny anymore? 1.3230 0.03441 322 244 52 26
417 It's a bat, get over it. 1.3230 0.03117 322 233 74 15
418 The umpire has a bone to pick with you. 1.3230 0.03268 322 238 64 20
419 Designated by who? 1.3230 0.03117 322 233 74 15
420 Love the throwback jersey. 1.3230 0.03178 322 235 70 17
421 Wow! The METS really have hit rock bottom. 1.3230 0.03327 322 240 60 22
422 You Red Sox are taking this "Fear the Beard" thing far too seriously! 1.3220 0.03170 323 236 70 17
423 I’m giving baseball a go, hunting and gathering is tough on the joints. 1.3220 0.03078 323 233 76 14
424 we haven't squatted like that in over 66 million years. 1.3219 0.03220 320 235 67 18
425 Last guy that wore that slid into home. Some things you just cant unsee. 1.3219 0.03310 320 238 61 21
426 Did coach just discover you in the dugout? 1.3219 0.03190 320 234 69 17
427 "Sometimes I think this whole throwback uniform thing has gone a bit too far." 1.3219 0.03340 320 239 59 22
428 I see that you're with a new club. 1.3209 0.03360 321 241 57 23
429 Shoeless Joe? Are you reinstated? 1.3206 0.03252 315 232 65 18
430 So if I hit you, then we're both out? 1.3206 0.03314 315 234 61 20
431 "This guy's got the perfect pitch for you -- a dragging knuckleball. 1.3206 0.03344 315 235 59 21
432 I don't care if it's an anachronism, the rules say you gotta wear a helmet. 1.3196 0.03335 316 236 59 21
433 Yo mama wears shoes. 1.3195 0.03169 313 228 70 15
434 Heeeyyyy clubber, clubber, clubber... 1.3195 0.03295 313 232 62 19
435 That's ball four pal, try to walk upright to first base. 1.3195 0.03326 313 233 60 20
436 Hey Fred, I slept with Wilma. 1.3195 0.03447 313 237 52 24
437 Word is you spent ages in the minors. 1.3189 0.03216 301 219 68 14
438 I’m the player to be named later. 1.3183 0.03308 311 231 61 19
439 Hold on. We're inventing the ball. 1.3183 0.03431 311 235 53 23
440 They say you were frozen in ice for thousands of years. Take a couple practice swings. 1.3183 0.03308 311 231 61 19
441 So easy even a caveman can do it. 1.3172 0.03288 309 229 62 18
442 Just yabba dabba doo it! 1.3172 0.03191 309 226 68 15
443 I thought we were trying to modernize the sport. 1.3172 0.03158 309 225 70 14
444 So, Wilma or Betty? 1.3172 0.03256 309 228 64 17
445 Sox? What are sox? 1.3172 0.03288 309 229 62 18
446 Is that your girlfriend out there, or a mastodon walking backward? 1.3170 0.03468 306 232 51 23
447 I don't steal, I take. 1.3160 0.03169 307 224 69 14
448 Still using hand gestures to communicate? 1.3160 0.03427 307 232 53 22
449 Dude, TOMORROW is retro uniform night. 1.3160 0.03169 307 224 69 14
450 And you think I look strange? 1.3158 0.03323 304 226 60 18
451 You’ve never heard of steroids, what do you live in a cave? 1.3158 0.03355 304 227 58 19
452 You play ball like a gatherer! 1.3158 0.03419 304 229 54 21
453 You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. 1.3158 0.03387 304 228 56 20
454 Sorry, but you're a Neanderthal. You've already got two strikes against you. 1.3158 0.03290 304 225 62 17
455 Remember: the idea is to swing at the ball as hard as you can, without hitting it. 1.3158 0.03387 304 228 56 20
456 Where's the girl? 1.3156 0.03032 301 215 77 9
457 Do you speak softly . . . ?” 1.3156 0.03345 301 224 59 18
458 Did it hurt to have the cleats installed? 1.3156 0.03068 301 216 75 10
459 Long time in the minors,huh? 1.3148 0.03214 305 224 66 15
460 We know you are doing paleo Scott, but this is a bit much. 1.3146 0.02950 302 214 81 7
461 You forgot your helmet. 1.3146 0.03335 302 225 59 18
462 No Swinging if I catch the ball. Ok? 1.3146 0.03302 302 224 61 17
463 If nothing else Tebow, you’re not a quitter 1.3146 0.03496 302 230 49 23
464 Shoeless Joe from Jurassic Mo. 1.3146 0.03401 302 227 55 20
465 If you give me just 15 minutes after the game, I think I can save you 15% on your car insurance! 1.3136 0.03487 287 216 52 19
466 Best throwback uniforms ever 1.3133 0.03381 300 225 56 19
467 Well, the coach said I really needed to learn to use my primal instincts... 1.3133 0.03281 300 222 62 16
468 I heard you're the guy they called up from that Triple A team in Bedrock. 1.3133 0.03635 300 233 40 27
469 I've been designated to make a sacrifice. 1.3133 0.03247 300 221 64 15
470 Who am I supposed to hit? 1.3133 0.03315 300 223 60 17
471 The lizard stole my Geico gig 1.3133 0.03212 300 220 66 14
472 I slept with your ancestors. 1.3133 0.03381 300 225 56 19
473 Okay. First of all, "Strike!" means something a whole lot different here. 1.3133 0.03142 300 218 70 12
474 How's that paleo diet working for you? 1.3133 0.03177 300 219 68 13
475 ...and, any ball hit into the tar pits is a ground rule double.... 1.3133 0.03381 300 225 56 19
476 Fig. 1. Homer erectus 1.3131 0.03437 297 224 53 20
477 I guess this really is America’s past time. 1.3131 0.03302 297 220 61 16
478 This is Yankee Stadium fella; put some shoes on. 1.3131 0.03302 297 220 61 16
479 Yes, I’m wearing a dress , I’m also carrying a big stick . 1.3131 0.03268 297 219 63 15
480 I heard you hit one out of Jurassic Park. 1.3131 0.03337 297 221 59 17
481 I heard you were just called up from the Paleolithic era. 1.3131 0.02938 297 210 81 6
482 For a guy drafted on a jaw fragment and part of a femur you're lucky to even be in the lineup. 1.3131 0.03337 297 221 59 17
483 It's the CUBS not the "Clubs." 1.3131 0.03302 297 220 61 16
484 I hunt. I do not bunt. 1.3131 0.03268 297 219 63 15
485 Mets farm team? 1.3131 0.03302 297 220 61 16
486 I thought you retired ages ago. 1.3131 0.03233 297 218 65 14
487 Just don't throw the bat, alright? 1.3131 0.03404 297 223 55 19
488 You're the designated hunter, not hitter. 1.3131 0.03371 297 222 57 18
489 Yeah, I was down in the minors a long time. Why do you ask? 1.3131 0.03162 297 216 69 12
490 I heard you usually cave. 1.3131 0.03337 297 221 59 17
491 You just come up from the bush leagues? 1.3131 0.03371 297 222 57 18
492 Did you know 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance? 1.3131 0.03470 297 225 51 21
493 I know it's not a regulation bat, Luis, but do YOU wanna be the one to tell him? 1.3131 0.03162 297 216 69 12
494 Not exactly. They’re Detroit Tigers not saber-tooth tigers. 1.3131 0.03404 297 223 55 19
495 How long were you on the disabled list? 1.3131 0.03125 297 215 71 11
496 Do you want to go clubbing after the game? 1.3131 0.03437 297 224 53 20
497 Whaddya mean this ain't no bat. I got it from the clubhouse! 1.3131 0.03337 297 221 59 17
498 Why you make signal that lion is coming? 1.3131 0.03470 297 225 51 21
499 Well, this is an old-timers' game for the books. 1.3119 0.03350 295 220 58 17
500 Lookin' good. Paleo diet? 1.3119 0.03350 295 220 58 17
501 I don't like the designated hitter rule either. 1.3119 0.03418 295 222 54 19
502 This is Comiskey Park, you must be looking for Jurassic Park. 1.3119 0.03384 295 221 56 18
503 LIMERICK: Before Shoeless Joe there was Paul...A legend at hitting the ball...At the pitcher he sneered...While rockin his beard...Then clubbed em out over the wall. 1.3119 0.03418 295 222 54 19
504 Yooooooouuu'rrreee eeeextiiinct! 1.3114 0.03324 289 214 60 15
505 I know there's no pine tar on it, but I still don't think it's legal. 1.3106 0.03363 293 219 57 17
506 ICE didn’t know where else to send me. 1.3103 0.03490 290 220 50 20
507 You traveled a million years just to strike out! 1.3103 0.03421 290 218 54 18
508 Took you awhile to get here, didn't it? 1.3103 0.03314 290 215 60 15
509 Repeat after me. Hit ball. Not head. 1.3103 0.03314 290 215 60 15
510 This game is taking forever. 1.3103 0.03350 290 216 58 16
511 Ball? Like wheel? But with another axis of rotational symmetry? 1.3103 0.03242 290 213 64 13
512 I hear you spent a lot of time in the minor leagues. 1.3095 0.03101 294 213 71 10
513 Just remember. You hit the ball not me. 1.3090 0.03291 288 213 61 14
514 I think they will put an asterisk next to this one. 1.3090 0.03399 288 216 55 17
515 Ok, deal. You don't bunt, and I show you Match.com. 1.3090 0.03434 288 217 53 18
516 Oh c'mon, weren't you traded like ten thousand years ago? 1.3080 0.03535 276 209 49 18
517 That's your plan? To walk softly! 1.3077 0.03266 286 211 62 13
518 Three strikes and your extinct! 1.3077 0.03484 286 217 50 19
519 Your swing is primitive, but I see promise. 1.3077 0.03228 286 210 64 12
520 You, sir may expect a walk. 1.3063 0.03390 284 213 55 16
521 It figures. A Trump supporter bats righty. 1.3063 0.03426 284 214 53 17
522 Three strikes, you evolve. 1.3063 0.03533 284 217 47 20
523 Talk about a heavy hitter ... 1.3063 0.03353 284 212 57 15
524 Growing your playoff beard already, eh? 1.3063 0.03315 284 211 59 14
525 Whoa, since when are the Red Sox bipeds? 1.3060 0.03451 281 212 52 17
526 Baseball? Next thing you'll be wanting fire. 1.3060 0.03338 281 209 58 14
527 Don't look at me, hit the ball, and then they'll feed you 1.3060 0.03451 281 212 52 17
528 So, that paleo diet seems to be working for you. 1.3060 0.03451 281 212 52 17
529 No, not me. Hit the ball. 1.3060 0.03261 281 207 62 12
530 I'm just saying 'three strikes and you're extinct' is a little harsh. 1.3060 0.03338 281 209 58 14
531 That's some sponsorship you picked up there Ed. 1.3060 0.03414 281 211 54 16
532 Bamm Bambino. You must be Fred and Wilma’s son? 1.3060 0.03523 281 214 48 19
533 I see you and our pitcher use the same barber. 1.3060 0.03300 281 208 60 13
534 I've been in the dug out for ages 1.3060 0.03261 281 207 62 12
535 Time for a mammoth home run. 1.3060 0.03261 281 207 62 12
536 So how long have you been in the Minors? 1.3060 0.03182 281 205 66 10
537 Everything else I get. But buddy, no pants? 1.3058 0.03361 278 207 57 14
538 Old Timers' Day was last week, Buddy 1.3058 0.03243 278 204 63 11
539 Of course you can have unlimited strikes - no problem at all. 1.3047 0.03427 279 210 53 16
540 Tell Mr. Veeck I like the midget better. 1.3032 0.03590 277 213 44 20
541 Don't worry. This game hasn't changed since the Stone Age. 1.3032 0.03479 277 210 50 17
542 I've been traded to the Mets. 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
543 So you're the missing link in their pennant hopes? 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
544 Wrong Club 1.3032 0.03516 277 211 48 18
545 Its a Lascaux Slugger. 1.3032 0.03441 277 209 52 16
546 Now I know why your nickname is Homer Erectus. 1.3032 0.03325 277 206 58 13
547 Yes, clubbing me counts as a strike. 1.3032 0.03479 277 210 50 17
548 No like inside fast ball. 1.3032 0.03325 277 206 58 13
549 Why you dress as turtle ... crouch in dust? 1.3032 0.03516 277 211 48 18
550 Wait! "Strike" is just a figure of speech. 1.3032 0.03325 277 206 58 13
551 These 'old-timer' games sure get tougher every year, huh? 1.3032 0.03441 277 209 52 16
552 He's throwing fire? What is fire? 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
553 Who you calling neaderthal? 1.3032 0.03325 277 206 58 13
554 Your comment about the designated hitter as being a natural result of the evolutionary process of baseball is duly noted. 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
555 I've got good news. I can save you 15% on car insurance. 1.3032 0.03733 277 217 36 24
556 I get strike, you get club. 1.3032 0.03364 277 207 56 14
557 The email clearly said "Cubs," not "clubs" 1.3032 0.03403 277 208 54 15
558 For the record, if he hits you with the pitch I had nothing to do with it. 1.3029 0.03348 274 204 57 13
559 Sometimes I feel like this game drags on for ages 1.3029 0.03388 274 205 55 14
560 You haven’t made it to the World Series in how long again? 1.3029 0.03427 274 206 53 15
561 Wow! Moving to DH really is the way to extend your career, isn't it? 1.3029 0.03427 274 206 53 15
562 No need to swing, I'm signaling for a walk. 1.3029 0.03542 274 209 47 18
563 Remember, while it's in the air. 1.3029 0.03504 274 208 49 17
564 If you're lucky enough to get to third, don't even think about sliding into home. 1.3029 0.03226 274 201 63 10
565 I had it custom made. It's called The Bat Out Of Hell. 1.3029 0.03542 274 209 47 18
566 No, I’m not taking a knee! Put the club down and go back to your seat. 1.3029 0.03466 274 207 51 16
567 You the guy they called up from Bedrock? 1.3029 0.03308 274 203 59 12
568 This is taking throw-back uniforms to the extreme. 1.3029 0.03308 274 203 59 12
569 You weren’t supposed to take ‘hit it back into the Stone Age’ literally 1.3029 0.03542 274 209 47 18
570 Don't make the Cubs wait another 100 years 1.3029 0.03427 274 206 53 15
571 I agree. Those insurance commercials were cultural appropriation. 1.3029 0.03308 274 203 59 12
572 Awesome throwback uniform, dude. 1.3029 0.03308 274 203 59 12
573 The pine tar ought to be the least of your worries. 1.3029 0.03226 274 201 63 10
574 I guess in your case, it really is a ball club. 1.3029 0.03267 274 202 61 11
575 Who’s on First? 1.3029 0.03348 274 204 57 13
576 This is the Washington Senators baseball team. You want the troglodytes in the White House. 1.3029 0.03504 274 208 49 17
577 One more strike and you're history. 1.3026 0.03491 271 205 50 16
578 Wow, way to commit to the Old Timers Game Jason. 1.3015 0.03321 272 202 58 12
579 All that padding won't help you, if you flip me off again. 1.3015 0.03401 272 204 54 14
580 Relax a few rules on facial hair and look at what you get. 1.3015 0.03441 272 205 52 15
581 So . . . just exactly how long had you been in the minors before they called you up? 1.3015 0.03196 272 199 64 9
582 Yeah, I agree, the dugout probably did evolve from the cave. 1.3015 0.03361 272 203 56 13
583 How long have you been on the bench? 1.3015 0.03321 272 202 58 12
584 They said the pinch hitter was a thing of the past, but I didn't believe it until now. 1.3011 0.03466 269 203 51 15
585 Look who they thawed out for the Series 1.3011 0.03466 269 203 51 15
586 Do you slide in that thing? 1.3008 0.03492 266 201 50 15
587 Now batting for Brooklyn... 1.3000 0.03573 270 207 45 18
588 You get three of them. Someone else will count for you. 1.3000 0.03374 270 202 55 13
589 These retro uniforms are getting out of hand. 1.3000 0.03374 270 202 55 13
590 I see you're classically trained. 1.3000 0.03455 270 204 51 15
591 I can’t believe they accused you of using steroids. 1.3000 0.03374 270 202 55 13
592 Can you slide in that? 1.2996 0.03272 267 197 60 10
593 Nice retro uniform ! 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
594 So, you're coming out of retirement? 1.2996 0.03185 267 195 64 8
595 You guys are 400,000 games back at the end of July, why don't you pack it in already? 1.2996 0.03480 267 202 50 15
596 It’s not going to be pretty if I have to slide. 1.2996 0.03560 267 204 46 17
597 I think you're taking this paleo-diet thing a little too far! 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
598 I still think that "Nantucket Neanderthals" perpetuates inappropriate stereotypes. 1.2996 0.03399 267 200 54 13
599 Remember, after clubbing the ball do NOT drag me to the bases! 1.2996 0.03600 267 205 44 18
600 You might want to back up. 1.2996 0.03440 267 201 52 14
601 He throws a knuckleball. No offense. 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
602 Aren't you taking the whole vintage uniforms thing a bit too far? 1.2996 0.03315 267 198 58 11
603 I'd get a helmet if I were you. Our pitcher's a Neanderthal. 1.2996 0.03639 267 206 42 19
604 And I thought pinstripes were old school. 1.2996 0.03229 267 196 62 9
605 Watch out for the umpire. He's a real Neanderthal. 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
606 I've seen cave paintings of your swing. You're history. 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
607 I've been playing this sport since before you were born, son. 1.2996 0.03399 267 200 54 13
608 No exceptions. Ump's got to see your knees. 1.2996 0.03560 267 204 46 17
609 It's 'pastime', not 'past time'. 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
610 I heard you were called up from the Neanderthals 1.2996 0.03560 267 204 46 17
611 Don’t worry, the last time this pitcher struck anyone out, everyone looked like you. 1.2996 0.03440 267 201 52 14
612 It was a regulation bat the last game I played" 1.2996 0.03399 267 200 54 13
613 I think we're just going to walk you. 1.2996 0.03272 267 197 60 10
614 You look like you come from a different E.R.A. 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
615 The pitcher has reached a bygone ERA. 1.2996 0.03600 267 205 44 18
616 Dude, isn't it about time you retire. 1.2996 0.03229 267 196 62 9
617 Which man do I hit? 1.2996 0.03399 267 200 54 13
618 Thag no like infield fly rule. 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
619 No, beating the catcher to death with a runner on third base would definitely NOT be considered a "sacrifice fly." 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
620 Whatever you do, don't slide. 1.2996 0.03185 267 195 64 8
621 Not bat. Pitcher's leg. 1.2996 0.03440 267 201 52 14
622 They're not booing because you drag women around by the hair and club your kids. They're booing because you're hitting .198. 1.2996 0.03521 267 203 48 16
623 Hit ball, not catcher! 1.2996 0.03440 267 201 52 14
624 Yeah, it's a throwback uniform. 1.2996 0.03315 267 198 58 11
625 These throwback jerseys are getting out of hand. 1.2996 0.03639 267 206 42 19
626 I was told there'd be women 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
627 Looks like it took you a while to get called up. 1.2996 0.03229 267 196 62 9
628 Didn't you strike out 40,000 years ago? 1.2996 0.03480 267 202 50 15
629 I'm showing you the signs because you can't read them, anyway. 1.2996 0.03357 267 199 56 12
630 Is it true you speak softly? 1.2996 0.03656 257 197 43 17
631 A ball is thrown and you try to hit it. It's worthless unless you do it frequently, and then you become wealthy beyond your dreams. But yes, it's still worthless. It's hard to explain. 1.2985 0.03549 268 205 46 17
632 Don't you think your team is getting ridiculous about their throwback uniform days? 1.2981 0.03536 265 202 47 16
633 I’m old school. 1.2981 0.03370 265 198 55 12
634 Think maybe you’re taking this Throwback Uniform Day a little too far? 1.2981 0.03495 265 201 49 15
635 I'm gluten-free and juiced. Bring it. 1.2981 0.03454 265 200 51 14
636 Can you tell me how to get to the batter's cave? 1.2981 0.03412 265 199 53 13
637 This is my third old timers day, you? 1.2981 0.03576 265 203 45 17
638 What’s with all the shaggy beards in baseball these days? 1.2981 0.03454 265 200 51 14
639 It you're planning to drag me back to your cave, you should know I'm a pitcher not a catcher. 1.2981 0.03576 265 203 45 17
640 Now batting for the MAGA Mouthbreathers... 1.2981 0.03655 265 205 41 19
641 Even for the seventh inning, this is a stretch! 1.2981 0.03327 265 197 57 11
642 Yes, it is a very nice dugout. 1.2981 0.03536 265 202 47 16
643 Mr. Rocktober? 1.2981 0.03454 265 200 51 14
644 Interesting. You guys call it a dugout. We call it a cave. 1.2981 0.03284 265 196 59 10
645 You busy after the game? A bunch of us are going clubbing. 1.2980 0.03544 255 193 48 14
646 Your cave drawing doesn't do you justice. 1.2970 0.03483 266 202 49 15
647 Did you find that in the clubhouse? 1.2966 0.03426 263 198 52 13
648 That's three strikes. Now put down your club. 1.2966 0.03551 263 201 46 16
649 I asked him to walk you. 1.2966 0.03383 263 197 54 12
650 Throwback uniforms have really gotten out of hand. 1.2966 0.03383 263 197 54 12
651 Going clubbing after the game? 1.2966 0.03340 263 196 56 11
652 You're looking for the Tigers. We're the Yankees. 1.2966 0.03252 263 194 60 9
653 With global warming, I feel like that uniform is the future. 1.2966 0.03591 263 202 44 17
654 I hear you guys are looking for a heavy hitter. 1.2966 0.03509 263 200 48 15
655 Ehhh batter batter....your mother is a Neanderthal! 1.2966 0.03468 263 199 50 14
656 Maybe it's time to lay off the paleo diet for a while. 1.2966 0.03340 263 196 56 11
657 I love a player who appreciates the history of the game 1.2966 0.03252 263 194 60 9
658 That’s right buddy. They don’t call me Homer erectus for nuthin...... 1.2966 0.03296 263 195 58 10
659 There's nothing like the Old-Old-Timers' game. 1.2966 0.03509 263 200 48 15
660 Is it the seventh eon stretch, already? 1.2966 0.03252 263 194 60 9
661 I take it you're not an analytics guy. 1.2966 0.03383 263 197 54 12
662 Remember, you hit the ball not the pitcher. 1.2966 0.03426 263 198 52 13
663 First club owner, right? 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
664 No kidding, you met your wife using that same club. 1.2962 0.03451 260 196 51 13
665 Dude, you know that your throwback uniforms suck, right? 1.2962 0.03536 260 198 47 15
666 You could bunt and fool everyone." 1.2962 0.03319 260 193 57 10
667 Swear to God, they were over the counter supplements. 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
668 Been playing minor league ball for quite awhile, huh? 1.2962 0.03451 260 196 51 13
669 No, I'm not trying to take away your Second Amendment rights. 1.2962 0.03408 260 195 53 12
670 The millennials in marketing inisist this plays up the timeless appeal of baseball. 1.2962 0.03319 260 193 57 10
671 Sure, I'm sure. The 'Old Timers Game' is next week! 1.2962 0.03319 260 193 57 10
672 You should've seen last week's game against the renaissance men 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
673 Pine tar goes on your club, not your jersey.” 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
674 I've heard your rookie carving is worth a fortune. 1.2962 0.03578 260 199 45 16
675 It's pretty simple: see the ball, hit the ball. 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
676 We really shouldn’t use the Electoral College to pick who plays in the All-Star Game. 1.2962 0.03660 260 201 41 18
677 Going Paleo has definitely helped my game, but man I miss the carbs. 1.2962 0.03578 260 199 45 16
678 The Yankees finally loosened their appearance policy. 1.2962 0.03274 260 192 59 9
679 Are you saying that someone BEFORE Doubleday invented baseball? 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
680 It's called Baseball. Have you been living in a cave? 1.2962 0.03451 260 196 51 13
681 Meeting you after the game for clubbing does not sound fun. 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
682 You do understand that the “hit and run” signal has a different meaning in the bigs? 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
683 I really hope you're not the catcher for your team. 1.2962 0.03408 260 195 53 12
684 I hear you not like Trump. That right? 1.2962 0.03536 260 198 47 15
685 First Tebow. Now this? The Mets will do anything... 1.2962 0.03619 260 200 43 17
686 That may have worked in Lascaux, but this is the major leagues, pal. 1.2962 0.03619 260 200 43 17
687 Can I hit? They don’t call me “Bam Bam” for nothing. 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
688 Stop whining--the strike zone isn't written in stone! 1.2962 0.03135 260 189 65 6
689 Grok do hit, squatman live. 1.2962 0.03451 260 196 51 13
690 These 'Turn Back The Clock Day' uniforms are getting a little ridiculous. 1.2962 0.03451 260 196 51 13
691 Look, I don't like these time-travel leagues anymore than you do, but we gotta play ball. 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
692 Where'd they dig you up? 1.2962 0.03494 260 197 49 14
693 Back out of retirement again? 1.2962 0.03182 260 190 63 7
694 You're going to need a bigger mitt. 1.2962 0.03536 260 198 47 15
695 How’s that Paleo Diet working for you, Mike? 1.2962 0.03364 260 194 55 11
696 Just visualize a mammoth's testicle - swing for all you're worth, then run like Hell ! 1.2955 0.03750 247 191 39 17
697 Don't cave in 1.2953 0.02868 254 179 75 0
698 Hey bud, the old-timer's game was yesterday. 1.2946 0.03377 258 193 54 11
699 Can't believe the Yankees didn't make you shave that thing 1.2930 0.03435 256 193 51 12
700 Hit ball. Not me! 1.2930 0.03479 256 194 49 13
701 What's the name of your Club? 1.2930 0.03390 256 192 53 11
702 You say you're batting a thousand...B.C.? 1.2930 0.03479 256 194 49 13
703 “It’s four balls and three strikes. Have you been living in a cave?” 1.2930 0.03390 256 192 53 11
704 Look all you want pal, we use numbers now! 1.2930 0.03345 256 191 55 10
705 Kind of taking the whole 'throwback uniform' theme to a new level, huh Terrence? 1.2930 0.03566 256 196 45 15
706 Do I wait till you catch the ball before hitting it? 1.2930 0.03479 256 194 49 13
707 He's got a wicked caveball. 1.2930 0.03390 256 192 53 11
708 I'm pinch-hitting for Homo erectus. 1.2930 0.03479 256 194 49 13
709 We haven't seen a hitter like you in ages. 1.2930 0.03299 256 190 57 9
710 What? Never seen facial hair on a ballplayer? 1.2930 0.03566 256 196 45 15
711 I see you found the clubhouse. 1.2925 0.03461 253 191 50 12
712 I think it’s great that you’re team has casual Fridays 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
713 I started the Paleo diet and one thing led to another... 1.2925 0.03594 253 194 44 15
714 The guy on First Base is kinda worried you won't drop the bat after you hit the ball. 1.2925 0.03226 253 186 60 7
715 At least you get to play with you favorite club. 1.2925 0.03369 253 189 54 10
716 How long since you last hit. 1.2925 0.03415 253 190 52 11
717 I knew this was going to happen after we implemented sabertoothmetrics. 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
718 - Ug had blended in surprisingly well since the thawing, but it was the nuances of modern life which finally gave him away. 1.2925 0.03765 253 198 36 19
719 Just because you invented the bat, doesn't mean that you get to play. 1.2925 0.03369 253 189 54 10
720 Sure you’re not supposed to be playing in the old timers game? 1.2925 0.03415 253 190 52 11
721 I'm not implyin' nuttin'; I'm sayin' you got the look of a guy who's on the juice. 1.2925 0.03369 253 189 54 10
722 Careful with the backswing. 1.2925 0.03077 253 183 66 4
723 You are new to this game, aren't you. 1.2925 0.03550 253 193 46 14
724 No drawings on the dugout wall please 1.2925 0.03274 253 187 58 8
725 Don't throw the club. 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
726 I came straight from the bat cave. 1.2925 0.03594 253 194 44 15
727 Haven’t seen a bat like that in ages! 1.2925 0.03415 253 190 52 11
728 It felt like I was in the minors for ages. 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
729 I dare you to bunt. 1.2925 0.03322 253 188 56 9
730 You come up from the minors? 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
731 You can put that down. You're out Flinstone. 1.2925 0.03369 253 189 54 10
732 Remember, the strike zone is between your armpit hair and your knee hair. 1.2925 0.03322 253 188 56 9
733 I find it offensive that you call that pitch the knuckle-dragger." 1.2925 0.03461 253 191 50 12
734 No do that here. Here home! 1.2925 0.03594 253 194 44 15
735 'Let me guess...Moneyball?" 1.2925 0.03594 253 194 44 15
736 Hey Bob, I think it's time for an intentional walk. 1.2925 0.03506 253 192 48 13
737 The scouting report says your swing is primitive. 1.2925 0.03415 253 190 52 11
738 Did you just get called up from the Neanderthals? 1.2920 0.03393 250 187 53 10
739 Bat, club, tomato, tomahto. 1.2905 0.03893 241 190 32 19
740 What are you looking at? All the other batters have beards! 1.2892 0.03199 249 183 60 6
741 Seems like ages since I last saw you 1.2892 0.03535 249 190 46 13
742 It's just like the Red Sox to bring up some ancient history. 1.2892 0.03626 249 192 42 15
743 Quite a year buddy. First you invent the wheel, and now a chance for the cycle. 1.2892 0.03714 249 194 38 17
744 I assume you're not going to bunt. 1.2892 0.03670 249 193 40 16
745 Now, don’t hit me. Hit the ball! 1.2892 0.03395 249 187 52 10
746 The game's changed a lot since you started, hasn't it? 1.2892 0.03199 249 183 60 6
747 Back in my day, we called it "home rock". 1.2892 0.03347 249 186 54 9
748 So when they said The Neanderthal is up next, I thought it was a nickname! 1.2892 0.03395 249 187 52 10
749 So, is this the year you finally retire? 1.2892 0.03442 249 188 50 11
750 It’s a throwback uniform. 1.2892 0.03535 249 190 46 13
751 I don't care if you do work for POTUS. You can't stand there. 1.2892 0.03581 249 191 44 14
752 If you hear 'STRIKE' it doesn't mean you're supposed to slug me with your bat! 1.2892 0.03442 249 188 50 11
753 At least you developed the right tool for the job. 1.2892 0.03581 249 191 44 14
754 I was told this was a club sport. 1.2892 0.03535 249 190 46 13
755 Am I in the wrong cartoon-I was looking for Fred Flintstone. 1.2892 0.03489 249 189 48 12
756 You're right 10,000 years in the minors does seem like a long time. 1.2892 0.03535 249 190 46 13
757 Think you’re taking the Paleo thing a bit far, Bruce? 1.2892 0.03489 249 189 48 12
758 You just get called up from B.C.? 1.2892 0.03535 249 190 46 13
759 You were DH for the Mastadons? Who did the Mets have to give up?" 1.2892 0.03626 249 192 42 15
760 I don't think you understand the concept of a baseball club. 1.2892 0.03489 249 189 48 12
761 I knew that once they allowed facial hair it would eventually come to this. 1.2892 0.03626 249 192 42 15
762 Let's see you knock it into the Stone Age slugger! 1.2886 0.03609 246 189 43 14
763 WHAT KIND OF SIGNING BONUS DID YOU GET? 1.2886 0.03700 246 191 39 16
764 No, mostly mastodons. What's a slider? 1.2886 0.03700 246 191 39 16
765 Jurassic is good but I prefer Fenway. 1.2886 0.03420 246 185 51 10
766 I'm guessing this isn't your first Old Timers' Day. 1.2886 0.03609 246 189 43 14
767 Have you got the stones for this 1.2886 0.03516 246 187 47 12
768 Please, I know he's throwing the 'knuckledragger.' 1.2886 0.03516 246 187 47 12
769 I won't be bunting. 1.2886 0.03563 246 188 45 13
770 If ya not wearin' underwear I suggest ya try to get 'im to walk ya. 1.2886 0.03420 246 185 51 10
771 Sorry about the heckling, but some fans are uncivilized. 1.2886 0.03563 246 188 45 13
772 Uh . . . that's not a regulation bat . . . 1.2886 0.03516 246 187 47 12
773 Maybe they should have explained your duties as a mascot better. 1.2886 0.03655 246 190 41 15
774 Congratulations on Bedrock getting an expansion team franchise. 1.2886 0.03420 246 185 51 10
775 What was it like before the designated hitter ruined the game? 1.2875 0.03422 240 180 51 9
776 Throwback uniforms are tomorrow, Brandon. 1.2869 0.03434 244 184 50 10
777 I meant "wasn't." It wasn't a strike. 1.2869 0.03434 244 184 50 10
778 Farm League or Hunter-Gatherer? 1.2869 0.03434 244 184 50 10
779 Mr. President, what are you doing here? 1.2869 0.03717 244 190 38 16
780 When do they start throwing the women? 1.2869 0.03483 244 185 48 11
781 You look much better without the mullet. 1.2869 0.03434 244 184 50 10
782 Hey Roy, how’s that paleo diet working for you? 1.2869 0.03671 244 189 40 15
783 So. The paleo diet finally reaches the big leagues. 1.2869 0.03578 244 187 44 13
784 So you actually are a bunch of Neanderthals. 1.2869 0.03531 244 186 46 12
785 I see you've been on the paleo diet. 1.2869 0.03531 244 186 46 12
786 How’s the sensitivity training going? 1.2869 0.03578 244 187 44 13
787 Johnny Damon! That looks like it's a little longer than 42 inches. 1.2869 0.03531 244 186 46 12
788 That's not what BYOB means. 1.2869 0.03434 244 184 50 10
789 You couldn't hit the side of a mammoth. 1.2863 0.03410 241 181 51 9
790 These throwback uniforms are becoming a bit ridiculous. 1.2863 0.03559 241 184 45 12
791 I’m a catcher. Not a gatherer. 1.2863 0.03460 241 182 49 10
792 I said Jurassic Park, not Fenway Park. 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
793 You must be the designated hunter 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
794 I hope you’re wearing a cup. He’s throwing low and inside. 1.2845 0.03423 239 180 50 9
795 I hear you're from the BC league ... 1.2845 0.03524 239 182 46 11
796 “Where’s your helmet Gorth ?” 1.2845 0.03423 239 180 50 9
797 Wait. When the ump calls strike one, it's about the ball, right? 1.2845 0.03524 239 182 46 11
798 I guess the bunt sign is off. 1.2845 0.03524 239 182 46 11
799 Twelve years in the minors will do this to you. 1.2845 0.03524 239 182 46 11
800 Please tell me you plan to bunt. 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
801 The beard, the hair, OK I get it. But is the caveman outfit even legal? 1.2845 0.03574 239 183 44 12
802 Looks like you keep getting it backwards. You rubbed the steroid on the bat and injected the pine tar again! 1.2845 0.03671 239 185 40 14
803 I hear the Yankees want you to shave your beard. 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
804 Yeah, you can eat it, but only if it goes over the fence. 1.2845 0.03623 239 184 42 13
805 Quite whining. People have been complaining about the size of the strike zone since the Stone Age." 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
806 I speak softly, but carry a big stick. 1.2845 0.03671 239 185 40 14
807 Neanderthals win games; Cro-magnons win championships. 1.2845 0.03423 239 180 50 9
808 So, you've been at this for a while, Zog. Ever think about retiring? 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
809 I may be a Neanderthal, but I know something about bat size. 1.2845 0.03524 239 182 46 11
810 Hit ball, BAD! Miss ball, GOOD! 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
811 Nice throwback uniform, Ted 1.2845 0.03319 239 178 54 7
812 Can we at least agree that the Mets suck? 1.2845 0.03371 239 179 52 8
813 I went Paleo. 1.2845 0.03474 239 181 48 10
814 No, I will not teach you how to read my signs. 1.2845 0.03423 239 180 50 9
815 GEICO laid me off 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
816 So long as there's no cork in your bat, you'll be Ok. 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
817 So, you’re telling me it’s more than just a diet now? 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
818 Use your words. 1.2827 0.03830 237 187 33 17
819 Send message: Me hit ball, or me hit you. 1.2827 0.03384 237 178 51 8
820 I passed the drug screen. 1.2827 0.03688 237 184 39 14
821 I said we're playing the Cubs - not with clubs 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
822 Your first old-timer’s game, huh? 1.2827 0.03488 237 180 47 10
823 ‘Old Timer’s Day’ again, eh? 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
824 You live in the dugout? 1.2827 0.03539 237 181 45 11
825 Okay, ten strikes 1.2827 0.03488 237 180 47 10
826 You know the fans are right. Baseball games are really too long. 1.2821 0.03567 234 179 44 11
827 It's a rebuilding year. 1.2821 0.03567 234 179 44 11
828 You know, that club makes you look like a neanderthal. 1.2821 0.03463 234 177 48 9
829 Yeah, wouldn't be here without the DH rule. 1.2821 0.03618 234 180 42 12
830 That paleo thing working out for you? 1.2821 0.03244 234 173 56 5
831 Congrats on passing Pete Rose for most plate appearances. 1.2821 0.03410 234 176 50 8
832 I'd hate to be your teams equipment manager. 1.2821 0.03463 234 177 48 9
833 Watch me hit a mammoth homerun. 1.2821 0.03669 234 181 40 13
834 I think the Paleo diet might be affecting your game. 1.2821 0.03516 234 178 46 10
835 I suggest that if you are going to slide, go head first. 1.2821 0.03669 234 181 40 13
836 So, how much is Bill Veeck paying you for this gig? 1.2821 0.03718 234 182 38 14
837 I guess they weren't kidding about an Old Timer's game. 1.2821 0.03567 234 179 44 11
838 Remember, it's just a game! 1.2821 0.03567 234 179 44 11
839 You sure you’re off the steroids? 1.2821 0.03355 234 175 52 7
840 You must be the gatherer. 1.2814 0.03267 231 171 55 5
841 I said slugger, not slug her 1.2802 0.03530 232 177 45 10
842 Watch the attitude, buddy; the umpire has a spear. 1.2802 0.03312 232 173 53 6
843 It's not that kind of past time 1.2802 0.03634 232 179 41 12
844 I hit. 1.2802 0.03736 232 181 37 14
845 The umpire just quit 1.2802 0.03736 232 181 37 14
846 How long were you down in the minor leagues? 1.2802 0.03785 232 182 35 15
847 No, not me, the ball. 1.2802 0.03477 232 176 47 9
848 Would you like to go clubbing with us after the game? 1.2802 0.03583 232 178 43 11
849 You seem like more of an unwritten rules guy to me. 1.2802 0.03423 232 175 49 8
850 Hey, you throw back; me throwback, 1.2783 0.03651 230 178 40 12
851 I can't believe you walked that Neanderthal to pitch to me. 1.2783 0.03598 230 177 42 11
852 You the guy that hit the mammoth shot last night? 1.2783 0.03702 230 179 38 13
853 I thought millennials weren't into baseball! 1.2783 0.03545 230 176 44 10
854 3,547,243 hits, eh? That's probably one record that never will be broken. 1.2783 0.03598 230 177 42 11
855 No, I am not going Number 1 or Number 2. 1.2783 0.03753 230 180 36 14
856 I’d rather you speak softly 1.2783 0.03651 230 178 40 12
857 Just saying, a cup can come in pretty handy around here” 1.2783 0.03545 230 176 44 10
858 I got it from the clubhouse, why? 1.2783 0.03651 230 178 40 12
859 Frozen how long? Wow. No, actually, the game hasn't evolved much. 1.2783 0.03651 230 178 40 12
860 You must be the heavy hitter. 1.2783 0.03436 230 174 48 8
861 They said it was a club sport. 1.2783 0.03598 230 177 42 11
862 Ball four, walk upright. 1.2783 0.03381 230 173 50 7
863 Man, these games are lasting forever! 1.2783 0.03491 230 175 46 9
864 You hit. Me catch. 1.2783 0.03702 230 179 38 13
865 I thought you got traded to the Giants. 1.2783 0.03436 230 174 48 8
866 Now that’s what I call a major league ball club! 1.2783 0.03651 230 178 40 12
867 I’m going for the club record 1.2775 0.03628 227 175 41 11
868 So you're Joe Jackson! 1.2775 0.03734 227 177 37 13
869 Next inning I hunt and you gather. 1.2775 0.03628 227 175 41 11
870 Professional sports: so easy a caveman could do it 1.2775 0.03628 227 175 41 11
871 Before you slide into home plate, please tell me you have underwear on." 1.2775 0.03463 227 172 47 8
872 Has Pebbles started T-ball? 1.2775 0.03681 227 176 39 12
873 I thought it only felt like time went backwards when I watched baseball. 1.2775 0.03574 227 174 43 10
874 Scouting report say you have a killer batting average. 1.2775 0.03785 227 178 35 14
875 Okay, try again, rules are hit the ball, you don't club me. 1.2775 0.03574 227 174 43 10
876 I don’t care what the rules were in 20,000 B.C., big guy. Now it’s three strikes and you’re out. 1.2775 0.03628 227 175 41 11
877 Throwback uniform day is tomorrow. 1.2775 0.03887 227 180 31 16
878 You're a little late for the old timers game. 1.2775 0.03574 227 174 43 10
879 I'm embracing the Paleo thing> 1.2775 0.03406 227 171 49 7
880 He means strike as a noun, not as a command. Please stop hitting me over the head. 1.2775 0.03628 227 175 41 11
881 yep, still not using technology for balls & strikes, just the same visually impaired old guy behind me! 1.2775 0.03519 227 173 45 9
882 So your team scout has a DeLorean? 1.2775 0.03519 227 173 45 9
883 They haven't retired you yet? 1.2775 0.03230 227 168 55 4
884 Me catch...you hit. 1.2775 0.03406 227 171 49 7
885 Without the designated hitter rule, I would have retired years ago. 1.2775 0.03463 227 172 47 8
886 Guess it took awhile to get called up. 1.2763 0.03450 228 173 47 8
887 You ball club. Me club ball. 1.2756 0.03644 225 174 40 11
888 Take it easy on the scratching... 1.2756 0.03533 225 172 44 9
889 Okay, that's strike number 2,999,999. One more and you're out. 1.2756 0.03644 225 174 40 11
890 You still have to wear a helmet. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
891 You guys take this "baseball club" thing pretty serious, huh? 1.2748 0.03445 222 168 47 7
892 I love your throwback uniform. 1.2748 0.03325 222 166 51 5
893 I don't mean to be intrusive but your left heel is out of the batter's box. 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
894 This throwback-uniform fad is getting a bit extreme. 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
895 Club rules 1.2748 0.03784 222 174 35 13
896 I took the off-season beard too far. 1.2748 0.03784 222 174 35 13
897 Ahh, so you’re the Neanderthal to be named later. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
898 It's how you use it that counts. 1.2748 0.03504 222 169 45 8
899 Because I don't need two hands! 1.2748 0.03674 222 172 39 11
900 Know any Yogi Berra stories? 1.2748 0.03674 222 172 39 11
901 To be honest, it doesn't matter what he pitches, I am going to kill it. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
902 You use plates? 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
903 I'm telling you, size doesn't matter. 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
904 Well, well, well...look who finally made it to the big club. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
905 You think I look weird the way I am dressed ? 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
906 Those steroids are really changing your appearance. 1.2748 0.03386 222 167 49 6
907 New away uniforms? 1.2748 0.03445 222 168 47 7
908 Seems like the game started centuries ago! 1.2748 0.03837 222 175 33 14
909 I'm trying to get traded, myself. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
910 I'm guessing you're not gonna bunt. 1.2748 0.03618 222 171 41 10
911 Don't patronize me. Grog know difference between grunt and bunt. 1.2748 0.03890 222 176 31 15
912 I hope you are wearing underpants. 1.2748 0.03729 222 173 37 12
913 No, I don't want to go clubbing with you after the game! 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
914 I hear your mama’s a vegan. 1.2748 0.03504 222 169 45 8
915 You are taking the playoff beard to another level. 1.2748 0.03562 222 170 43 9
916 I'm jealous. When did you begin standing upright? 1.2748 0.03674 222 172 39 11
917 I’d lost track of how long this game is. 1.2748 0.03729 222 173 37 12
918 I'm from the Trump farm team. 1.2748 0.03729 222 173 37 12
919 Just so you know - I don't take kindly to strike calls. 1.2748 0.03890 222 176 31 15
920 Old timers game was yesterday 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
921 No, I don't have any naked cave drawings of my wife. Why? 1.2727 0.03747 220 172 36 12
922 I thought we were going clubbing 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
923 you're right. it's not actually a plate. 1.2727 0.03691 220 171 38 11
924 That’s the best throwback uniform I’ve ever seen! 1.2727 0.03747 220 172 36 12
925 WATCH THE BUNT! 1.2727 0.03962 220 176 28 16
926 Wow! I didn't know the Yankees' dugout went so deep. 1.2727 0.03634 220 170 40 10
927 If the man on the little hill throws the white rock at me again, I'm going to take it out on you. 1.2727 0.03856 220 174 32 14
928 I guess this is America's favorite past time. 1.2727 0.03459 220 167 46 7
929 I'm going to make a wild guess that bunting is not an option. 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
930 Just called up from the Magnon Crows? 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
931 I heard you were picked to keep your team in the hunt. 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
932 That's pretty old-school. No batting gloves. 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
933 Hey, man, the game's evolved in the last few thousand years. 1.2727 0.03634 220 170 40 10
934 That not home. No way in. 1.2727 0.03337 220 165 50 5
935 Do you really have to scream "bamm-bamm" every time you hit the ball? 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
936 Who's on first man? 1.2727 0.03634 220 170 40 10
937 Finding players who would accept nuts and berries as payment wasn’t easy, but the Yankees were serious about staying under the luxury-tax threshold this year. 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
938 I don't know where the ump went. 1.2727 0.03634 220 170 40 10
939 No, there is no such thing as a "clubbing average." 1.2727 0.03398 220 166 48 6
940 Do you think you’re the missing link to end the losing streak? 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
941 You might want to move back a bit - I sometimes throw the bat a little. 1.2727 0.03577 220 169 42 9
942 Now remember, even though I'm on the other team, you're supposed to hit the ball, not me. 1.2727 0.03459 220 167 46 7
943 You hunter. Me gatherer. 1.2727 0.03459 220 167 46 7
944 The ball. Not me. 1.2727 0.03518 220 168 44 8
945 I was told to crush the umpire. Are you the umpire? 1.2727 0.03459 220 167 46 7
946 Well, I cant read or write but I sure can hit! 1.2727 0.03747 220 172 36 12
947 We don't use a rock anymore. 1.2727 0.03634 220 170 40 10
948 Old timer's game? 1.2727 0.03691 220 171 38 11
949 ‘Is that a bat in your hand or are you just happy to be me.’ 1.2723 0.03651 213 164 40 9
950 Why did they give the gecko a British accent? 1.2719 0.03836 217 171 33 13
951 When the man behind me yelled ball three, he was not making fun of you. 1.2719 0.03606 217 167 41 9
952 You've never heard of me? What, have you been living in a cave? 1.2719 0.03665 217 168 39 10
953 It's old technology; but it works! 1.2719 0.03665 217 168 39 10
954 Do you slide feet first in that? 1.2698 0.03500 215 164 44 7
955 Is that bat regulation? 1.2698 0.03681 215 167 38 10
956 NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE! 1.2698 0.04020 215 173 26 16
957 No! Who’s the name of the guy on first. What’s on second. 1.2698 0.03740 215 168 36 11
958 Just pretend it’s a ptarmigan. 1.2698 0.03561 215 165 42 8
959 How long have you been sitting in the dugout? 1.2698 0.03622 215 166 40 9
960 I told you that side effects included Shrinking of the testicles, Impotence and Stunted evolution! 1.2687 0.03782 201 156 36 9
961 You know that the point of the game is to hit the ball, right? 1.2685 0.03607 216 167 40 9
962 I like THIS bat 1.2676 0.03514 213 163 43 7
963 Strike? I'll show you a strike. 1.2676 0.03698 213 166 37 10
964 The team needed some big timber in the lineup. 1.2676 0.03514 213 163 43 7
965 You know, the ball? The round thing, like a wheel? Oh. 1.2676 0.03816 213 168 33 12
966 So you were rookie of the year - what year? 1.2676 0.03514 213 163 43 7
967 They said you could JOIN the club, not use the club. 1.2676 0.03698 213 166 37 10
968 You better hope I don't strike out. 1.2676 0.03757 213 167 35 11
969 Yeah, I just got called up from the Bush League 1.2676 0.03637 213 165 39 9
970 They took a long time calling you up! 1.2676 0.03385 213 161 47 5
971 Sure kid, they call you 'The Natural.' Like I never heard that before. 1.2676 0.03514 213 163 43 7
972 Actually, I don't know how tasty I look. 1.2676 0.03816 213 168 33 12
973 Who's throwing the rock today? 1.2676 0.03698 213 166 37 10
974 I've been in a slump since the Stone Age. 1.2676 0.03450 213 162 45 6
975 You stink. 1.2676 0.03816 213 168 33 12
976 I'm hoping for a strikeout so you can hit the showers. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
977 This IS a wooden bat! 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
978 I've heard of old timers day, but this is ridiculous 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
979 I heard you faced Colon during his prime. 1.2667 0.03909 210 167 30 13
980 Wow! That must be some endorsement deal you got. 1.2667 0.03668 210 163 38 9
981 Well, at least the beard is regulation. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
982 You have one of those multi-year contracts? 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
983 Ok fire doesn't do us any good , we need you to invent the ball. 1.2667 0.03967 210 168 28 14
984 This paleo thing is getting crazy. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
985 He's throwing fire. But I don't suppose you know about that. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
986 It's a bit smaller than a skull, and almost as much fun. 1.2667 0.03909 210 167 30 13
987 I've always wondered what happened to Bam Bam. 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
988 When I hear "Strike" I hit you,Right? 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
989 Our team has reached the salary cap' 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
990 This guy throws fire. 1.2667 0.03411 210 159 46 5
991 ...analytics says you can really “crush the ball”?... 1.2667 0.03411 210 159 46 5
992 Not much has changed really. People still love you if you hit a big one! 1.2667 0.03411 210 159 46 5
993 Here's your chance to rewrite history and take the lead away from those pennant-hogging Homo sapiens! 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
994 He throws a mean knuckle-dragger ball 1.2667 0.03850 210 166 32 12
995 Think you're some kind of mammoth slugger? 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
996 It don't mean a thing, if you ain't got that swing. 1.2667 0.03668 210 163 38 9
997 Retro night again? 1.2667 0.03668 210 163 38 9
998 So basically I hang out in that cave until it’s my turn to hit something really hard. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
999 Welcome to the Major League, kid. You never gave up the dream, did you? 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1000 Remember, do not carry me off the field this time. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1001 Ted, it’s over now. Carol chose me. 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
1002 Shoeless Joe. Welcome back to oldtimers’ Day. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1003 after all our hard work getting ourselves evolved enough to stand, there you crouching again. 1.2667 0.03850 210 166 32 12
1004 Nice try Bailey. Now go get a regulation bat. 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
1005 Pal, if you hit a homer, just take it easy with the bat flip. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1006 I need a hit, or else they’re sending me back. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1007 No, it's not that - I just didn't see you as a leadoff guy. 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1008 Took me a while to get to the big leagues too. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1009 Been in the dugout a while, eh? 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1010 It's been ages since I played 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1011 Why you show him throw me curve rock? 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1012 So they call you Babe because you wear a dress? 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
1013 How long you been in the minors? 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1014 I love Old Timers’ Day. 1.2667 0.03668 210 163 38 9
1015 Neanderthal is an insult now, not a compliment. 1.2667 0.03477 210 160 44 6
1016 Aren't you a little old for this game? 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
1017 No signal pitcher for slider, or Ug brain you. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1018 I love these new throwback uniforms. 1.2667 0.03411 210 159 46 5
1019 Thought you retired a few years ago. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1020 Why you squatting? You pooping? 1.2667 0.03909 210 167 30 13
1021 Hey Bush Leaguer, this must be your first at bat with the big club. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1022 Throwback uniforms are getting ridiculous. 1.2667 0.03606 210 162 40 8
1023 So can you save me 15% on my car insurance? 1.2667 0.03542 210 161 42 7
1024 I’m with the Chicago Clubs 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1025 "Well, at least you don't need tattoos to look threatening." 1.2667 0.03668 210 163 38 9
1026 You hunter-gatherers don’t seem to get that in this game home never moves. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1027 Hey... didn't you play for the Dodgers before they moved to L.A.? 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1028 Remember -- hit ONLY the ball. 1.2667 0.03791 210 165 34 11
1029 'Catchers'? We call them 'Gatherers'. 1.2667 0.03730 210 164 36 10
1030 I thought you were out about 20,000 years ago. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1031 I realize that you eat with your hands, but someday you'll understand dishware and wonder why it's called a "plate" 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1032 I just don't think the shift and analytics have a place in baseball 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1033 Congrats; I saw you in this morning's cave painting. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1034 Oh, so were playing the old rules." 1.2644 0.03869 208 165 31 12
1035 I found it in the clubhouse. 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1036 You can’t play for the Yankees with hair like that 1.2644 0.03355 208 157 47 4
1037 Should I move closer? And then what do I do? 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1038 Don't beat yourself up, nobody understands the infield fly rule. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1039 I saw your stats on the cave wall. Pretty impressive. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1040 No. I never use pine tar. 1.2644 0.03490 208 159 43 6
1041 Good to see you're off the juice 1.2644 0.03747 208 163 35 10
1042 I thought you had retired. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1043 Look, I saw you dip the bat in the tar pit! 1.2644 0.03747 208 163 35 10
1044 OK. Don't overthink this. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1045 Say, is that your woolly mammoth in the parking lot? 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1046 It took me awhile to make the majors 1.2644 0.03423 208 158 45 5
1047 Haven't you retired yet? 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1048 ...I said, "Stand for the National Anthem!" 1.2644 0.03929 208 166 29 13
1049 You're taking the 'playoff beard' tradition too far. 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1050 You mean it wasn’t Abner Doubleday ? 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1051 Where's the clubhouse? 1.2644 0.03747 208 163 35 10
1052 Of course back then we didn't call it "Tommy John surgery" ... we called it "having your arm eaten by a dinosaur." 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1053 I'm just saying I think they've gone too far with the throwback jerseys 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1054 I'm sorry Pal, we STILL can't explain the infield fly rule! 1.2644 0.03490 208 159 43 6
1055 I think they've taken these retro uniforms a bit too far. 1.2644 0.03490 208 159 43 6
1056 Which archaeologist scouted you? 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1057 Sir, for the last time, your seats are in section 702. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1058 You must be the rookie from Alabama. 1.2644 0.03987 208 167 27 14
1059 No, no, this is Dodger Stadium. You want the Paramount lot over on Melrose. Take Sunset to Alvarado, then get on the 101... 1.2644 0.03747 208 163 35 10
1060 They told me I could find good game here! 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1061 Okay Slugger, when he throws the coconut try to break it open. 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1062 Not surprisingly, your differing interpretation of the game isn’t the strangest thing I’ve learned today. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1063 Remember, you must remain upright as you round the bases. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1064 I've seen curve balls, fast balls, and knuckle balls but you're my first odd ball! 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1065 You give the Old-Timers Game a new twist. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1066 I don't know if you can hit, but you bring new meaning to the words 'baseball club.' " 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1067 Baseball club? Baseball bat? What's the difference? 1.2644 0.03747 208 163 35 10
1068 You’re the only guy out here who can actually pull off that beard. 1.2644 0.03685 208 162 37 9
1069 I see you brought your own bat. 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1070 Yeah, I spent a very long time in the minors. 1.2644 0.03423 208 158 45 5
1071 Point taken, but I don't believe his hyper-realism is derivative at all. If anything it could be an expression of irony given the material. Oh! Let's go Uggg. Pitcher is ready. 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1072 I thought Boston was next week. 1.2644 0.03869 208 165 31 12
1073 Is that pine tar on the bat? 1.2644 0.03869 208 165 31 12
1074 I see by your uniform that you swing both ways. 1.2644 0.03929 208 166 29 13
1075 You do know your career stats have long since been written in stone? 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1076 You're lucky. They won't let us grow beards. 1.2644 0.03490 208 159 43 6
1077 What glacier did you melt out of? 1.2644 0.03621 208 161 39 8
1078 It’s called a Pleistocene Slugger 1.2644 0.03556 208 160 41 7
1079 I’m guessing you were recruited based on sabertoothtigermetrics? 1.2644 0.03869 208 165 31 12
1080 The strike zone is between the letters and the knees. Can't see either. 1.2644 0.03490 208 159 43 6
1081 I don’t care what the Commissioner says. The game moves too slowly. 1.2644 0.03809 208 164 33 11
1082 Spitting, slapping butts, and swearing. Do you know what you're acting like? 1.2637 0.03832 201 158 33 10
1083 We don't have designated hunters in this league. 1.2637 0.03492 201 153 43 5
1084 It’s a mastodon leg bone. 1.2637 0.03492 201 153 43 5
1085 Yogi said ‘90% of baseball is half mental,’ so you’ve actually got an advantage on us. 1.2634 0.03660 186 142 39 5
1086 It started with letting my hair grow during a hitting streak. 1.2634 0.03781 205 161 34 10
1087 Everybody knows you're juicing. 1.2634 0.03781 205 161 34 10
1088 These throwback jerseys are getting completely out of hand. 1.2634 0.03843 205 162 32 11
1089 Is your club corked? 1.2621 0.03701 206 161 36 9
1090 Your team nutritionist has taken this paleo diet thing a bit too far.. 1.2613 0.03784 199 156 34 9
1091 Look, pal, at the college level the bat WILL be aluminum, regardless of the tariff. 1.2613 0.03647 199 154 38 7
1092 Forget it. By the time you lift that off your shoulder, the ball will be in my mitt. 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1093 Poor guy hasn't learned to stand upright yet. 1.2611 0.03925 203 162 29 12
1094 Hold your pelt when you slide, ok? 1.2611 0.03798 203 160 33 10
1095 10,000 years and the only evolution is that the Club got smaller? 1.2611 0.03668 203 158 37 8
1096 That ump is a real Neanderthal ! 1.2611 0.03734 203 159 35 9
1097 You're the designated hitter? I thought you were the mascot. 1.2611 0.03601 203 157 39 7
1098 Called up from the pre-farm system, eh? 1.2602 0.03534 196 150 41 5
1099 God, I hate these old-timer's day games. 1.2600 0.03417 200 152 44 4
1100 Turn back the clock night is getting a little out of hand - no? 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1101 Quit calling it "My Cave." It's a dugout. 1.2600 0.03490 200 153 42 5
1102 It's our pastime,not your past time! 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1103 Your shoelaces are untied. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1104 Batting in the third position, Mel Brooks! 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1105 Remember, it’s three bonks you’re out. 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1106 Are you wearing a cup? 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1107 Just up from the minors; Paleolithic League. 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1108 Did nobody tell you? It’s Throwback Day. 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1109 I wondered why the bat was so big. Then it hit me. 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1110 A bigger bat doesn't mean a bigger strike zone! 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1111 I see you've exercised your club option. 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1112 When you were invited to bring your ball club to the game, that's not what they had in mind. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1113 No, you may not look between my legs! 1.2600 0.03561 200 154 40 6
1114 Hey, you forgot your helmet. 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1115 So the rumors are true, you do carry a big stick. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1116 I'm sorry, they consider extra chromosomes a "performance enhancer" nowadays. 1.2600 0.03417 200 152 44 4
1117 Juicing? I just barely discovered fire. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1118 It's amazing what we have to put up with on promotion nights in baseball. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1119 Remember, swing at the ball not my head. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1120 An August call up from the Paleolithic League. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1121 I got it from the clubhouse; where else? 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1122 Promise me you won't be sliding into home plate. 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1123 This time hit the ball, not the pitcher. 1.2600 0.03631 200 155 38 7
1124 Squatting hole is behind dugout. 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1125 America's pastime not past time 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1126 Is this your first time up, with the big club? 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1127 I don't care how long you've been hitting Tyrannosaur eggs into orbit; don't take your strikes out on me! 1.2600 0.03343 200 151 46 3
1128 It's about time the National League agreed on the DH. 1.2600 0.03561 200 154 40 6
1129 Abner just CLAIMS to be the one who invented baseball. 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1130 A bunch of us are going clubbing after the game. 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1131 Pretend it's a pigeon! 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1132 Barney? Fred? 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1133 Are you sure you can run in that? 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1134 No, off the Mammoth is a ground-rule double. 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1135 You must be on the paleo diet. 1.2600 0.03833 200 158 32 10
1136 I hate dinosaur bobblehead night. 1.2600 0.03898 200 159 30 11
1137 Yes, fire is bad. 1.2600 0.03490 200 153 42 5
1138 No, not sabre tooth. Detroit. 1.2600 0.03767 200 157 34 9
1139 The rules only say "Bat". 1.2600 0.03700 200 156 36 8
1140 So, you want to go out clubbing after this? 1.2593 0.03980 189 150 29 10
1141 Yes it's good for catching food, but the rules say standard size. 1.2576 0.04046 198 160 25 13
1142 Make baseball great again! 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1143 Now would be a good time to invent an umpire. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1144 So you were in the minors for a long time, huh? 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1145 So I get to bash anything in the "strike zone?" 1.2576 0.03429 198 151 43 4
1146 You definitely smell like foul balls. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1147 Welcome to the big leagues, old timer. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1148 Just don't drop the bat. 1.2576 0.03982 198 159 27 12
1149 I've been in the minors for ages. 1.2576 0.03503 198 152 41 5
1150 So you're the Mighty Casey. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1151 Didn't you hit one over the fence at Jurassic Park? 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1152 They'll do anything to put fans in the seats these days. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1153 There's no Cro-Magnon in Baseball. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1154 Better not be any La Brea Tar on your club. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1155 'I promised you a hot dog AFTER the game' 1.2576 0.03503 198 152 41 5
1156 Hate to tell you, but Old-Timers' Day is tomorrow. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1157 When you’re done taking a dump, would you mind tossing me a few balls? 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1158 That gives throw-back a whole different meaning. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1159 I like the vintage uniform 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1160 I think you're taking the "throw back jersey" a bit too far,buddy. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1161 Someday they'll call both of us traditionalists. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1162 Well, well, if it isn't Bamm Bamm Rubble all grow'd up. 1.2576 0.03982 198 159 27 12
1163 Are you the dude who hits them back to the Stone Age? 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1164 Gleg was disappointed there weren't more clubs in the clubhouse. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1165 You can hit it with the club, but you don't get to eat it for dinner. 1.2576 0.03353 198 150 45 3
1166 Try not to cave. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1167 Don’t overthink it. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1168 Good to see baseball return to its roots 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1169 Wrong ball club. Flintstones play Tuesday. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1170 I hope you are wearing underwear 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1171 Nice dress, Alice. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1172 You can’t think and hit at the same time. But that will not be a problem in your case. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1173 Strike doesn't mean what you think it means. 1.2576 0.03982 198 159 27 12
1174 And I thought it was just footballers who were Neanderthals!" 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1175 Hey, you can't bat with a mastodon leg! 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1176 These throwback uniform nights are getting old. Really old. 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1177 I think your bat has too much tar on it. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1178 These throwback uniforms are getting ridiculous. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1179 Finally, a “turn back the clock” uniform that matches the idiotic beards half the league is wearing. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1180 I don't think it's not "regulation". Babe Ruth had a pretty heavy bat too. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1181 I've heard of guys being called up from the bush leagues, but this is ridiculous! 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1182 So you’re on the paleo diet? 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1183 Did they call you up from the Jurassic league? 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1184 Didn't they tell you to wait in the clubhouse? 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1185 Is it just me, or does it feel like the world has really started to change? 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1186 How's that paleo conditioning program working out? 1.2576 0.03716 198 155 35 8
1187 Throw back uniform? 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1188 Now you run the bases. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1189 Yogi Cave Berra I presume? 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1190 My backswing is a killer. 1.2576 0.03503 198 152 41 5
1191 With the pension rates in this league, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retire. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1192 I hate playing games at Jurassic Park. 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1193 This is my 10,000th Old Timers' Day. 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1194 No. Getting to first base has a different meaning here. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1195 Watch out for his knuckle dragger. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1196 So what did you do before the designated hitter rule? 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1197 You know La Brea pine tar is illegal, right? 1.2576 0.03646 198 154 37 7
1198 The dugout must feel just like home. 1.2576 0.03784 198 156 33 9
1199 Gave the steroids to your bat as well, eh? 1.2576 0.03852 198 157 31 10
1200 You must be the Sabertooth Slugger. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1201 I haven't seen you in ages 1.2576 0.03503 198 152 41 5
1202 They're going to make you pee into a cup first. 1.2576 0.03575 198 153 39 6
1203 Do I smell pine tar? 1.2565 0.03499 191 146 41 4
1204 Is that one of those Neanderville sluggers? 1.2565 0.03254 191 143 47 1
1205 There has been some rules added since the last time you played 1.2564 0.03749 195 153 34 8
1206 No offense, but I hate the DH. 1.2564 0.03378 195 148 44 3
1207 These throwback uniforms play tribute to the Mets' prehistory. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1208 So this is what they really meant when they said "watch out when you play against that club" 1.2564 0.03456 195 149 42 4
1209 It's still 3 strikes, but you can pick your own walk-up music, and they have sushi at the concessions. 1.2564 0.03299 195 147 46 2
1210 Ask the pitcher to walk me, my feet are killing me. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1211 It's like the wheel. Only three-dimensional and it flies. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1212 It's pronounced Neander-thal. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1213 Billy, TOMORROW is throwback uniform day. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1214 Let's just hope they don't notice you're not using a regulation bat. 1.2564 0.03888 195 155 30 10
1215 Remember, go for the ball, not for the guy. 1.2564 0.03531 195 150 40 5
1216 The guy on the mound's a beast. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1217 If you are going to use that thing, remember to speak softly. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1218 Let me guess, you hold the record for most at bats. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1219 I'm subbing for the pinch hitter. Got a problem with that? 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1220 I’ve seen better bats in a cave. Oh, sorry. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1221 You must be a New Yorker. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1222 There’ve been some changes since you called “time out.” 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1223 Move it along, pal. I don't have all epoch. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1224 I think that fastball did something funky to the space-time continuum. 1.2564 0.03888 195 155 30 10
1225 You forgot your shoes 1.2564 0.03888 195 155 30 10
1226 The game has really evolved! 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1227 Wait! Let me guess. You're just up from Trump's farm club. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1228 Now batting, the 2018 Comeback Player of the Year. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1229 Baseball? It's so easy, even a caveman can do it! 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1230 I see you're new to the club. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1231 Long trip from the minors? 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1232 Whachew expect, Buddy? We're the Flint Stones. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1233 So, you're the designated hunter? 1.2564 0.03955 195 156 28 11
1234 The other team might have an issue with that bat 1.2564 0.03531 195 150 40 5
1235 So, is hatred of the Red Sox really primordial? 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1236 Manager wants me to focus on fundamentals. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1237 You need to join the baseball club, not club the baseball. 1.2564 0.03749 195 153 34 8
1238 No one's asking you to put the "L" in Cubs. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1239 I promise there is no cork in this 1.2564 0.03749 195 153 34 8
1240 Sorry, wrong sport. The Alley Oop is football 1.2564 0.03749 195 153 34 8
1241 I think this designated hitter rule has gone too far. 1.2564 0.03678 195 152 36 7
1242 Watch out. The game is evolving. 1.2564 0.03378 195 148 44 3
1243 Any word yet on those doping charges? 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1244 I told you to go look for the Cubs, not clubs. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1245 Your game hasn't evolved much since your rookie season. 1.2564 0.03819 195 154 32 9
1246 Teddy Roosevelt I presume. 1.2564 0.03606 195 151 38 6
1247 The game has evolved since your rookie year. 1.2562 0.03584 203 158 38 7
1248 Which way is home? 1.2553 0.03836 188 148 32 8
1249 You look like a natural to me. 1.2553 0.03836 188 148 32 8
1250 Yeah, you just watch the ball go by three times... 1.2551 0.03516 196 151 40 5
1251 No I am not illegal. I was given a green card due to my outstanding skill in clubbing. 1.2539 0.03766 193 152 33 8
1252 And up at the plate now is GRRRRGHFN! Did I say that right? 1.2539 0.03766 193 152 33 8
1253 They thawed out another one, George. 1.2539 0.03907 193 154 29 10
1254 Even your mother knows you're going to bunt. 1.2539 0.03694 193 151 35 7
1255 Strike? 1.2539 0.03545 193 149 39 5
1256 How's that 30,000-year option working out? 1.2539 0.03694 193 151 35 7
1257 You want to know his ERA? 1.2539 0.03694 193 151 35 7
1258 'Stand for anthem' or what? 1.2539 0.03837 193 153 31 9
1259 When they said the guy batting clean-up was a Neanderthal, I didn't think they meant it literally! 1.2539 0.03907 193 154 29 10
1260 You're Out! That's all there is to it. 1.2539 0.03766 193 152 33 8
1261 Me swing. Me hit home run. Me get paid ten million clam shells. Me retire in Key Biscayne. Me buy new cave with in ground pool. 1.2539 0.03620 193 150 37 6
1262 Why yes, Roger Clemens is my father. How did you know? 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1263 Me no understand why one need mask to poop? 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1264 I don't believe they were referring to baseball when they said , it's so easy a caveman could do it" 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1265 Remember three strikes and you're extinct... Now play ball! 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1266 So I heard you were in the minors for the last three million years. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1267 We're the Tigers, why? 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1268 Well, Lascaux! 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1269 Wanna go clubbing after the game? 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1270 I'm a bit concerned that you may have misunderstood what I meant by "Strike!" 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1271 Throw back is not meant to insult you. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1272 You forgot your batting helmet. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1273 Well, look who's up, the guy they named foul balls after! 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1274 I'm getting tired of these Old Timers Days. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1275 Exactly how many steroids did you take? 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1276 I'm up from the minors. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1277 Sliding is going to suck in that dress 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1278 If you're going to go paleo, you have to fully embrace it, you know 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1279 If you hit it, don't chase it and eat it 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1280 Clubs are for golf, man. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1281 You're going to set this game back a thousand years. 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1282 Dont'cha think this retro-look uniform thing has gone too far? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1283 I’ve been taking a lot of Flintstones vitamins. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1284 You're gonna need a bigger mitt. 1.2526 0.03332 190 144 44 2
1285 Bruce takes old timers day way too seriously 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1286 How's that Paleo diet working out, Greg? 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1287 Remember I invented fire. 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1288 Activated from the bush league? 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1289 It's nice to see the league is becoming more inclusive. 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1290 Was your rookie card a cave drawing? 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1291 Never do an endorsement deal for a paleo diet. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1292 This is why we shouldn't have the Designated Hitter rule. 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1293 No knuckle balls! 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1294 Geez, Rick. Don’t you think you’re taking the paleo diet thing a bit far? 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1295 Back from retirement? 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1296 This is first base. You want the club house. 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1297 That was a mammoth home run you hit last time. 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1298 You sure you're not related to Johnny Damon? 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1299 Bro...how are ya gonna slide in that get up?? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1300 Don't throw your bat, okay? 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1301 No, 'Kill the ump' is just an expression. Like 'have a nice day.' 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1302 Not me-- the ball. 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1303 You on that Paleolithic Diet? 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1304 I'd appreciate it if you'd knock off the Old Timers jokes. 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1305 Let me guess. You're making your old timers day debut! 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1306 Yes, but are you willing to kneel for the anthem? 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1307 Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on it while you run the bases. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1308 Cal. Just between you and me, aren't you taking your Hair Club For Men endorsement a little too seriously? 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1309 That’s not what Coach meant when he said we have to get back to basics. 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1310 Nice pedicure. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1311 I wish coaches would stop trying to reinvent the wheel. 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1312 OK, then, dugout man. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1313 It figures you're on the Clubs 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1314 Are you sure that's what they meant by "baseball club" 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1315 Ball club means something different these days. 1.2526 0.03945 190 152 28 10
1316 You don't happen to know a guy named Flintstone? He played for the Rockies. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1317 This is my first Old Timer’s Game. How about you? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1318 I wouldn't be squatting so close to home plate if I were you. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1319 New to the club? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1320 It's not actually so easy a caveman could do it. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1321 You just make the club? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1322 You know you’re supposed to hit the ball, right? 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1323 Sure the game has evolved, but hitting is timeless. 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1324 I wish we did casual Fridays. 1.2526 0.03727 190 149 34 7
1325 The Paleolithic Era is my second-favorite past time. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1326 Last week you learned to make fire. So you think this week you’re going to learn to hit a curve ball? 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1327 Your bat has pine tar on it. It’s illegal. You can’t use it! 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1328 My Manager says I should speak softly. 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1329 No shirt, no shoes, no service. 1.2526 0.04015 190 153 26 11
1330 Now batting for Old Timers Day... 1.2526 0.03873 190 151 30 9
1331 C’mon George, don’t you think your taking this throwback jersey thing a little far? 1.2526 0.03495 190 146 40 4
1332 Just remember to slide head-first, buddy. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1333 ...but a dugout is not the same as a cave. 1.2526 0.03651 190 148 36 6
1334 I gotta say, your home run last night was truly mammoth 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1335 Ooog have big stick, but Max throw fire! 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1336 I'm just guessing that's not a regulation Louisville Slugger. 1.2526 0.03574 190 147 38 5
1337 That's funny; where we come from, home plate is still a circle. 1.2526 0.03801 190 150 32 8
1338 Your swing has really evolved. 1.2514 0.03734 183 143 34 6
1339 Yes, I get paid to squat down like this and catch small white balls. What do you do for a living? 1.2514 0.03891 183 145 30 8
1340 Ya might have some trouble. He’s got a fantastic cave ball. 1.2500 0.03964 188 151 27 10
1341 Manager tell Glonk must knock ball out of park. 1.2500 0.03743 188 148 33 7
1342 Can you count to three? That's all you need to do is count to three. 1.2500 0.03588 188 146 37 5
1343 So easy to hit, a caveman could do it ! 1.2500 0.03964 188 151 27 10
1344 Sweet walk-up music... Theme from 2001 is a solid choice. 1.2500 0.03818 188 149 31 8
1345 Me hit, you sit. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1346 You just get called up? 1.2486 0.03854 185 147 30 8
1347 No, you don't get to actually kill the umpire. 1.2486 0.04004 185 149 26 10
1348 I love how you bagged that T-Rex in the on deck circle. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1349 Can you believe, I finally passed the drug test? 1.2486 0.03536 185 143 38 4
1350 I think you're taking this Paleo thing a bit too far. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1351 Finally called you up from Triple-A.D., huh? 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1352 Still on the paleo diet? 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1353 When they said they were looking for a player with some experience ... 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1354 One more time Ugg. He throw, you hit. You miss, I catch. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1355 Just don't hurl your 'Neanderthal Slugger' when you strike out. 1.2486 0.04004 185 149 26 10
1356 Let's see if you can hit it outta the Jurassic. 1.2486 0.03854 185 147 30 8
1357 so, how's the new club working out for ya? 1.2486 0.03366 185 141 42 2
1358 Hit a grounder. I want to watch you run to first in that thing. 1.2486 0.03618 185 144 36 5
1359 Please remember if you have to slide we have a PG audience. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1360 You misunderstand what we mean by club. 1.2486 0.03854 185 147 30 8
1361 You're up next, the Neanderthal just struck out. 1.2486 0.03536 185 143 38 4
1362 Yeah, my wife also went on the paleo diet; I have to wear this gear at home, too. 1.2486 0.04004 185 149 26 10
1363 Watch out for his fast rock. 1.2486 0.03930 185 148 28 9
1364 Listen BamBam, we need you to knock one into the Stone Age! 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1365 Helmet, Man, Helmet! 1.2486 0.03930 185 148 28 9
1366 I hate game delays too but when an umpire calls a strike next time, don't club him. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1367 Paleo Diet been working for you? 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1368 After going 0 for 26 last week, I shaved mine. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1369 When the season's over, I'm going to taking a painting course and spend time with the kids. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1370 Why the ball? 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1371 Louisville? No, it's from Lascaux. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1372 What? You thought only the fans are Neanderthals? 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1373 I get it with the bat but you’re telling me the Rules Committee approved the off-the-shoulder uniform too? 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1374 Speaking softly, I see. 1.2486 0.03618 185 144 36 5
1375 I understand that you're a caveman but you still need to wear a batting helmet. 1.2486 0.03777 185 146 32 7
1376 I'm assuming we can rule out a bunt. 1.2486 0.03618 185 144 36 5
1377 Great throwback uniform. 1.2486 0.03536 185 143 38 4
1378 I'm literally gonna hit this ball into the Stone Age. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1379 For the last time, the count is one ball and more than one strike, there's more than one man on base, and the score is more than one to more than one. 1.2486 0.03698 185 145 34 6
1380 It doesn't look like a Louisville Slugger. 1.2486 0.03618 185 144 36 5
1381 OK. Yes, I can see it your way. 1.2486 0.03496 181 139 39 3
1382 What do you mean I need a helmet? 1.2486 0.03582 181 140 37 4
1383 We're not going to be as easy to eliminate as the Mammoths. 1.2472 0.03700 178 139 34 5
1384 I'm with the Clubs. 1.2459 0.03794 183 145 31 7
1385 Strike" is not a command 1.2459 0.04024 183 148 25 10
1386 Looks like we're gonna need a bigger ball. 1.2459 0.03872 183 146 29 8
1387 I was told this was a club team. 1.2459 0.03794 183 145 31 7
1388 I'm not doing what you think I'm doing. 1.2459 0.04024 183 148 25 10
1389 You lookin' for meat? We'll serve you up a slider. 1.2444 0.03909 180 144 28 8
1390 Huh. Thorg learn how stand upright eons ago. 1.2444 0.03747 180 142 32 6
1391 I'd get farther back,if I were you. 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1392 I don't care if you did invent fire, step in the box. 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1393 I was in the minor leagues for a very long tine. 1.2444 0.03747 180 142 32 6
1394 Sorry! No shoes, no shirt . . . no service!! 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1395 Alright, let's see you knock it out of the Jurassic Park! 1.2444 0.03988 180 145 26 9
1396 Let's see if you can hit it straight back to the Stone Age. 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
1397 I've heard of waiting for a pitch, but you sir are ridiculous! 1.2444 0.03747 180 142 32 6
1398 You're the designated WHAT? 1.2444 0.03988 180 145 26 9
1399 Coconut or Cantaloupe ? 1.2444 0.03909 180 144 28 8
1400 Hey, you need a helmet... AND shoes... AND pants... 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
1401 I'm jealous of you guys that were grandfathered in. 1.2444 0.03988 180 145 26 9
1402 How do you like the paleo diet? 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1403 You from the Pro-Magnon League? 1.2444 0.03578 180 140 36 4
1404 Hi there! If there's a bench clearing brawl, just want you to know, I'm an incredibly amicable person. 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
1405 It's my first Old-timers Game - you? 1.2444 0.03747 180 142 32 6
1406 But what's wrong with calling it a cave run? 1.2444 0.03909 180 144 28 8
1407 It's deja vu all over again 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1408 Yes, and yes, I am on the Paleo diet. 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1409 Just a jock strap, but then I'm not a catcher. 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
1410 You Cleveland guys really take throw-back Tuesdays seriously. 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1411 Wow, you actually look the way that you smell. 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1412 And I'M saying you didn't invent it! 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1413 Is this your first at club? 1.2444 0.03909 180 144 28 8
1414 Give new meaning to the term "baseball club" 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1415 You do know it's the ball you have to hit? 1.2444 0.03578 180 140 36 4
1416 So... you're the one they call Yabba Dabba Doo... 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1417 You'll need to think of the strike zone a little differently... 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1418 They said they’d LET you steal second this time so long as you promise not to slide. 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1419 Oh alright, you were safe. 1.2444 0.03578 180 140 36 4
1420 You're never gonna catch up to his fastball with that. 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1421 We call him Early Man around here because he swings too soon 1.2444 0.03909 180 144 28 8
1422 I went along with the lucky beard thing but this is getting ridiculous. 1.2444 0.03578 180 140 36 4
1423 No collusion. 1.2444 0.03664 180 141 34 5
1424 Been down in the minors for awhile? 1.2444 0.03988 180 145 26 9
1425 It feels like an eon since our last out. 1.2444 0.03829 180 143 30 7
1426 Well that's a coincidence, because he calls his best pitch his Alley Oop. 1.2444 0.03988 180 145 26 9
1427 I'll explain it one more time. You're ON a baseball club. 1.2444 0.03490 180 139 38 3
1428 Buy me some peanuts and crackerjack, I won't care if I never get back. 1.2443 0.03442 176 135 39 2
1429 We don't hit and run, we continue to hit it until it is dead! 1.2428 0.03923 173 138 28 7
1430 Now, this is what I call an 'Old Timers Game' 1.2416 0.03763 178 141 31 6
1431 But can you eat it? 1.2416 0.04008 178 144 25 9
1432 Just up from the Asia Minors? 1.2416 0.03846 178 142 29 7
1433 So you’re the first, first draft pick huh? 1.2416 0.03678 178 140 33 5
1434 This Paleo diet craze is ruining the game. 1.2416 0.03678 178 140 33 5
1435 I heard that your team is anti-analytics, but you guys are more old school than I thought. 1.2416 0.03409 178 137 39 2
1436 Jeez! How long did they keep you in the dugout? 1.2416 0.03846 178 142 29 7
1437 My guess is that you are not going to bunt. 1.2416 0.03590 178 139 35 4
1438 Mr. Teebow, it's 2050, how long have you been stuck in the minors? 1.2416 0.03846 178 142 29 7
1439 I think you are taking this whole Paleo thing a little too far. 1.2416 0.03763 178 141 31 6
1440 As designated hitter you hit the ball, not me. 1.2416 0.04086 178 145 23 10
1441 OK Rocky, you swing at the ball, not me. 1.2416 0.03846 178 142 29 7
1442 That apple you just ate was the last baseball. Head for home. 1.2416 0.03928 178 143 27 8
1443 Well, since the Geico commercials and sitcom spin-off, I've been trying to cover all my bases. 1.2416 0.04008 178 144 25 9
1444 They are going a little too far with these throwback uniforms. 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1445 Not my favorite throwback uniform. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1446 Haven't you heard? It's a whole new ball game. 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1447 No, they moved to L.A. in '58.' 1.2400 0.03435 175 135 38 2
1448 Why, yes! I opted not to circumcise, too. Good eye! 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1449 He called me off the bench. I hope the rules haven't changed much. 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1450 I think you should know, I have an anger management problem. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1451 Get with the times,man. We use aluminum bats now. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1452 It’s not in your DNA. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1453 Who are you wearing? Let me guess. Wilma? 1.2400 0.04285 175 145 18 12
1454 Remember, you are going for RBIs, not RIBs. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1455 What are you waiting for — a knuckledragger ball? 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1456 Kill the ump wasn't meant literally. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1457 Watch out. this pitcher is a real Neanderthal. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1458 If its a close play, slide feet-first. Baseball is a family game. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1459 Pull out all the stops to break that the slump! 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1460 Same old shit, bro - waiting for the kill. 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1461 Listen, you gotta hang on to your bat. 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1462 It’s called playing the long game. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1463 I promise you Thag, it's "to the ballgame," not "at the ballgame" 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1464 Don't you just love these old-timers' games? 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1465 Let me guess. The bunt sign's not on? 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1466 Yeah, I think the whole "throwback player" thing has just jumped the shark. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1467 WOW! It took you a long time to get here from the minors. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1468 When they said this was America's Greatest Pastime - they weren't kidding. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1469 First they let us grow beards, then the whole Yankee culture regressed. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1470 You forgot to grab a batting helmet. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1471 Same stuff as always, nothing new 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1472 It may be none of my business, but aren't you taking this paleo diet a bit too far? 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1473 Do you think the game needs to be shortened? 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1474 Man, you gotta ease up on that caveman diet. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1475 One more curve ball and you lose a finger. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1476 No jockstrap, huh? 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1477 Uhmm unga bunga buga buga? It’s alright dude, I speak english. I just dress like this for the gram. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1478 Hi Donald. When did you get traded to the Republicans? 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1479 OK - four strikes and you're out - if you say so. 1.2400 0.04129 175 143 22 10
1480 Wow, the shift is really changing the game. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1481 I heard you guys haven’t made it to the World Series in over 4,000 years. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1482 If you promise not to hit me I will call for a walk. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1483 Hey batta, batta, Evolve, batta, batta! 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1484 Found it in the bat cave. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1485 I was told to swing for the lights. What are lights? 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1486 Why you hide brow ridge behind mask? 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1487 no, you can’t play. Clubbing your wife is only ok in football. 1.2400 0.04129 175 143 22 10
1488 Trust me. Pine tar's the last thing you should be worried about. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1489 You wearing a cup under that pelt? 1.2400 0.03529 175 136 36 3
1490 Wait a minute, isn’t that a mastodon femur? 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1491 Your Leopard Print from last time looked better 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1492 Take it easy, buddy. You're playing like a bunch of Neanderthals. 1.2400 0.03529 175 136 36 3
1493 Hey clubber, clubber! Hey clubber, clubber! No clubber! No clubber! 1.2400 0.04285 175 145 18 12
1494 Just my opinion, but I think your team has taken the retro look a little too far. 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1495 This paleo diet coach put me on has really gotten out of hand. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1496 Watch your toes--he throws a wicked sinker. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1497 You're really committed to this 'beard look,' Dombrowski. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1498 If you’re hunting for home plate you’ve found it. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1499 Wait till you see his curve stone. 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1500 Catcher: "Finally got the call to the big leagues?" Batter: "It's been a long time coming!" 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1501 damn right I choke up 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1502 I’m a Pro-Magnon, if that’s what you’re asking.... 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1503 He takes an old-school approach to the game. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1504 You play for a baseball 'club'. You hit with a baseball bat. 1.2400 0.04049 175 142 24 9
1505 I know facial hair is big in baseball now, but this is ridiculous. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1506 whatchu say about my momma? 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1507 turn back the clock" night has gone too fa 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1508 Yeah, he throws mean a knuckle-dragger ball. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1509 You do realize, of course, that a strike doesn't mean what you might think it means? 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1510 Listen wise-guy, the strike zone is not between your knuckles and your knees. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1511 Don't freeze up again, Carl. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1512 You realize that a strike out is not a comment on you as a person, right? 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1513 I've got some ideas about speeding up the game. 1.2400 0.03798 175 139 30 6
1514 I just came up from the Miocene League. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1515 Exactly how long were you in the minors? 1.2400 0.03435 175 135 38 2
1516 For distance I might go with a lighter club. 1.2400 0.03967 175 141 26 8
1517 Now batting for Rodriguez, number 7, Cro-Magnon 1.2400 0.03529 175 136 36 3
1518 So, what's your idea to speed up the game? 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1519 I know this is a pro club team, but you still have to wear shoes. 1.2400 0.03710 175 138 32 5
1520 Don't take it personally, but my wife keeps saying baseball is an old man's game and I'm starting to realize she might have a point. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1521 Suit yourself, but you try sliding into second and you'll find yourself having quite a wardrobe malfunction. 1.2400 0.03621 175 137 34 4
1522 No, not much has changed....They throw something at you -- your days a rock, nowadays it's a hard-ball -- and then you hit the thing back at them in a way that makes it impossible for them to catch the thing. 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1523 You really should cut down on the steroids Gronk 1.2400 0.03883 175 140 28 7
1524 Let me guess, the lumberjack look just wasn’t manly enough? 1.2398 0.03763 171 135 31 5
1525 Say it ain't so, Zog. 1.2398 0.03671 171 134 33 4
1526 Time to cast the first stone. 1.2384 0.03921 172 138 27 7
1527 Just try to hit it. We can discuss the in-field fly rule later. 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
1528 No, your ERA is Paleozoic, his is 3.2. 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
1529 Caveman hungry, so when you going to buy me some peanuts and CrackerJacks? 1.2370 0.03725 173 137 31 5
1530 So, Barney, tell me … how long were you in Triple-A? 1.2370 0.04070 173 141 23 9
1531 You're being way too literal for Old-Timers Day. 1.2370 0.03540 173 135 35 3
1532 The Beard works, but the pine tar has to go. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
1533 Just saying, the plate is shiny. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
1534 So, I’m guessing you’re not a sabermetrics guy. 1.2370 0.04070 173 141 23 9
1535 Ok, so you play with a big club! 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
1536 Are you the owner? 1.2370 0.03540 173 135 35 3
1537 My agent's crunched the numbers. It appeals to the right marketing demographic. 1.2370 0.03814 173 138 29 6
1538 Designated Neanderthal 1.2370 0.04151 173 142 21 10
1539 So that's who the Dodgers traded to get Manny Machado. 1.2364 0.03929 165 132 27 6
1540 You know batting helmets have been required since 1970. That may be 6720 in your parlance. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1541 I'm from the old school of hard rocks. 1.2353 0.04112 170 139 22 9
1542 When he said, 'You're out!', he didn't mean we know you're a caveman. 1.2353 0.04027 170 138 24 8
1543 I'm pinch hitting for "The Natural." 1.2353 0.03368 170 131 38 1
1544 The world's other "oldest profession". 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1545 My agent suggested a big shtick. 1.2353 0.04112 170 139 22 9
1546 So how long were you on the DL? 1.2353 0.04027 170 138 24 8
1547 Run softly. You're carrying a big stick. 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1548 R.B.C., 'Runs before Christ'. 1.2353 0.04112 170 139 22 9
1549 Stengel? He's been dead for years. 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1550 You BOUGHT the club? 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1551 No, hitting this guy is NOT so easy a caveman can do it. 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1552 Yeah, sure, Cher’s “Believe” is a great choice for a walk up song. 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1553 Rookie of the year ? Seriously ... 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1554 Oh, I get it, Clan of the Bad News Cave Bears? 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1555 You gotta stop using that Neanderthal growth hormone. You're gonna get caught. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1556 I said: “I’ve seen better bats in a cave, man.” There’s a comma... “Cave - comma - man.” 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1557 Retro uniforms, eh? 1.2353 0.03470 170 132 36 2
1558 You're out. Done. It's over. Cro-Magnon won. 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1559 Face it - you're an anachronism. 1.2353 0.03569 170 133 34 3
1560 The Mets will try anything to sell tickets these days. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1561 And you, I'm venturing to guess, would be our designated hitter. 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1562 Kickin it old school, I see 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1563 That's fine, just don't kneel for the anthem. 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1564 What? They said baseball club. 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1565 Batter oop oop,oop, oop oop 1.2353 0.03850 170 136 28 6
1566 Geeeez! Where'd the scouts dig you up? 1.2353 0.04027 170 138 24 8
1567 Guess you've spent quite a while in the minors. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1568 I’ll bet that dugout seems like a big step up from that cave you crawled out of. 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1569 Oh yeah ... he's throwing heat. But then, what do you know about fire? 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1570 I guess you won't be bunting. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1571 From Hoboken, I take it? 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1572 Krog no need batting helmet. 1.2353 0.03759 170 135 30 5
1573 It's our new throwback jersey. 1.2353 0.03940 170 137 26 7
1574 I guess this puts to rest the legend that Abner Doubleday invented baseball in 1839. 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1575 I'm the one that was to be announced later. 1.2353 0.03665 170 134 32 4
1576 I heard you came up from the bush league 1.2353 0.03470 170 132 36 2
1577 I know this is "Old Timer's Day", but this is ridiculous. 1.2349 0.03515 166 129 35 2
1578 No, there are no women on my team either. 1.2349 0.03515 166 129 35 2
1579 The Paleolithic League? Never heard of it. 1.2339 0.03550 171 134 34 3
1580 Yeah, we're just gonna call that a home run. 1.2335 0.03887 167 134 27 6
1581 This is a curve ball I wasn't anticipating. 1.2331 0.03750 163 129 30 4
1582 As the Designated Hitter I hope you know that you are only allowed to hit the ball. 1.2331 0.03648 163 128 32 3
1583 It so easy a caveman can do it. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1584 Took 15,000 years, but you're finally in the Big Show 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1585 What's with the squatting and the funny mask? How primitive! 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1586 I see you're back on the steroids. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1587 No, no! Hit the ball--not the guy! 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1588 The rally beard just wasn’t enough huh? 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1589 This is your first " Old Timers " game? 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1590 Hey man, I think you got that man cave thing backwards. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1591 Wow, that was quite a number you do on our mountain lion mascot. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1592 Dude, you know you’re supposed to hit the ball with that thing. 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1593 Are you sure that bat is legal? 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1594 Me not use regulation bat, but all the people here love me, so your rules don't count. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1595 It sure looks performance-enhancing to me. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1596 So you think Roy Hobbs was too old to swing a club? 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1597 Don’t you ever get tired of playing with the same old ball club? 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1598 I'm glad they changed us from the Redskins and all, I just miss shoes. 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1599 This time try hitting the ball instead of the pitcher. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1600 Rules state you need a cup. 1.2321 0.04134 168 138 21 9
1601 Smelling good big boy - are you wearing Brut? 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1602 Just called up from Lascaux? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
1603 You must've been on the bench for a while. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1604 Even the UMPIRE can see you were out clubbing all night! 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1605 Is that a whole cork branch? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
1606 You just lost. Have you been living in a cave? 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1607 No it's not an ostrich egg; next time don't eat, hit it!" 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1608 Is that glove regulation? 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1609 Not yet! The credit card commercial starts AFTER the game is over. 1.2321 0.03478 168 131 35 2
1610 You must be in some slump." 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1611 Really? Up 'til now I'd always believed that baseball was invented by Russians. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1612 Yeah, it was a long rain delay, but it wasn't that long. 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1613 No gloves? 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1614 Baseball club 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1615 We still hit against the shift. 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
1616 No, no that's fine with me. You can call me a "gatherer". 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1617 The designated hitter will be extinct before you know it. 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1618 Is this where I stand? I'm a Neanderthal at this game. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1619 Your wife still got that bone in her lip? 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1620 I use whatever bat I want, pig face." 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1621 No I don’t chew tobacco, I’m not a Neanderthal! 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1622 If you think the DH rule is silly, wait until you get caught by the Infield Fly rule. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1623 If I don't hit ball I hit you. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1624 Standing upright was an improvement for Home erectus, but he never got used to the expanded strike zone. 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1625 Now batting cleanup…Ted Flintstone. 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1626 Frictional unemployment 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1627 You passed the drug test? 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1628 In my day we didn't bunt. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1629 We're not caving in just yet! 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1630 Don't worry, they used to call my equipment 'The tools of ignorance.' 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1631 You here to play Neander-ball? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
1632 Whatta mean pine tar, that’s Yak blood 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1633 The umps are OK with my bat but the Yankees still won't allow facial hair. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1634 So easy, that a caveman can do it. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1635 Does it wick sweat as well as they say? 1.2321 0.03579 168 132 33 3
1636 This time aim for the ball and not my head! 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1637 That thing better not be corked. 1.2321 0.04134 168 138 21 9
1638 of course I'm scared. 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1639 Dude you need to cut back on the PED's 1.2321 0.04219 168 139 19 10
1640 Of course it's regulation. Why? 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1641 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT A CLUB?? 1.2321 0.04047 168 137 23 8
1642 Is this what he meant by "Make America Great Again?" 1.2321 0.04134 168 138 21 9
1643 I know baseball is a very old game, but this is ridiculous! 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1644 At bat, the original Louisville Slugger. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1645 No, you don't get the girl by hitting me! 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1646 I haven't seen a swing like that in ages. 1.2321 0.03958 168 136 25 7
1647 No, it isn't a Louisville Slugger. It came from a T-Rex; I thought that would be obvious. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1648 Softball my ass, you bunch of pussies. Back in my day we hit rocks. 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1649 Beer after the game? 1.2321 0.03867 168 135 27 6
1650 This game is definitely going down in history. 1.2321 0.03773 168 134 29 5
1651 When you told me about your baseball club I thought you meant your team 1.2321 0.03678 168 133 31 4
1652 This is nuts even for the Orioles. 1.2321 0.04134 168 138 21 9
1653 Don't worry, the rules haven't changed much. 1.2303 0.03609 165 130 32 3
1654 It’s smaller than a brontosaurus egg. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1655 The future ain't what it used to be. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1656 If you can hit a homer with that thing,you'll make history. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1657 If you hit the ball, a pterodactyl will eat your baby. 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
1658 I hate these retro promotions. 1.2303 0.03609 165 130 32 3
1659 Nice throwback jersey. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1660 It's like a wheel, only more 3D...Oh, never mind... 1.2303 0.03710 165 131 30 4
1661 Yhea, I recommend the stadium Dino-dog with hot mustard. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1662 First you hit and run, then you get uniform. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1663 I see you've finally made the club. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1664 Well, at least you won't be sliding in spikes up. 1.2303 0.03710 165 131 30 4
1665 We only hit balls. Can you handle that? 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
1666 I guess you don't have to wear a batting helmet. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1667 The whole "fire" thing was starting to get a little boring. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1668 Congrats on the Fruity Pebbles cereal box cover. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1669 The beard works but I'm afraid the bat isn't regulation... 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1670 Another call-up from the B.C. affiliate. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1671 You gotta drop this attitude. It's not like you're the first Neanderthal to ever make it into American sports, you know. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1672 So the Mariners still haven’t made it to the World Series? 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
1673 I sacrifice fly, then sacrifice ump. 1.2303 0.03609 165 130 32 3
1674 No - clubbing me on the head does not constitute a 'hit' in baseball. 1.2303 0.04089 165 135 22 8
1675 Remember now, the ball not the pitcher. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1676 I don't care who you voted for. Play ball. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1677 Fastball inside. Shame you’re pre-verbal. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1678 Hey, don't look at me - I just catch the ball. 1.2303 0.03398 165 128 36 1
1679 No Sir , this is not your game 1.2303 0.03710 165 131 30 4
1680 I get the extinct feeling everybody's watching me. 1.2303 0.04089 165 135 22 8
1681 I'd go for the sacrifice bunt if I were you. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1682 Me catch, you swing. 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
1683 That bat is non-regulation, Og. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1684 If you ain't wearin' tighty whitey's, skip the slide home. 1.2303 0.04179 165 136 20 9
1685 You looked better in your Yankees uniform. 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1686 This game is barbaric. 1.2303 0.04179 165 136 20 9
1687 Yup, baseball's going extinct. 1.2303 0.03710 165 131 30 4
1688 Unga bunga to you too, pal. 1.2303 0.03998 165 134 24 7
1689 How long did you say you spent in AAA? 1.2303 0.03808 165 132 28 5
1690 Now when the ball comes at you, hit it, don't catch it and eat it. 1.2303 0.03904 165 133 26 6
1691 You don't get mad when you strike out, do you? 1.2303 0.03710 165 131 30 4
1692 I can't. hear you, you're speaking too softly 1.2298 0.04156 161 132 21 8
1693 How do you like the 84 oz. bat? 1.2298 0.03866 161 129 27 5
1694 Really? Does it look like I’m going to need a catcher? 1.2289 0.03690 166 132 30 4
1695 We don’t need an ump—we haven’t invented the ball yet. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1696 OK, we're trying to be inclusive here. Your bat's approved and we've wrapped the rock in sabertooth skin. But, we can't waive the helmet rule. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1697 Face it! If they didn't allow designated hitters, you'd be out of baseball! 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1698 I Know you waited ages to be in the line-up ! 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1699 100,000 years between pitches is quicker than the last batter. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1700 Nice pelt. Want another? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1701 The Cos Play event today was only for the fans. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1702 So, you're America's real past time, eh? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1703 These Retro Night promotions are getting out of hand. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1704 I said, you should play with our baseball club.....not, play baseball with a club 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1705 Hey man, you’re taking this hipster thing a little too far. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1706 Whadayya mean I need cleats! 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1707 One more strike out and it's back to hunting and gathering 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1708 This vintage uniform craze is getting completely out-of-hand. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1709 It’s called a plate. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1710 No. This is Fenway Park. Jurassic Park is playing down the street." 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1711 Yeh, well, I'm not a fan of interleague play either. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1712 Are you trying to prove that this is America's oldest sport? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1713 You're not supposed to look at me. 1.2284 0.04314 162 135 17 10
1714 Is that corked? 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1715 Hey Rookie, glad you finally made the Show. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1716 Called back from retirement? 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1717 I said I was good at hitting, but this is a whole new ball game. 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1718 Forget your spikes? 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1719 Before there were teams, we had clubs. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1720 You're laughing now, but I'm about to hit one for the ages. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1721 I see they FINALLY brought you up from Triple A. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1722 When I was little, I wanted to be a hunter-gatherer. 1.2284 0.03533 162 127 33 2
1723 Sorry Dude. NFL doesn't start until September. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1724 I think you took the throwback uniform idea too far. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1725 You promise not to swing that thing and I'll promise not to spike your stupid feet. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1726 Our pitcher is on fire ... not that you'd know what that is. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1727 Remember, the scouts only care about your launch angle. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1728 New look. Well, I warn you. Our pitcher throws fireballs. 1.2284 0.03533 162 127 33 2
1729 Is that really a vintage Louisville slugger ? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1730 I head they call you Babe Rock. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1731 I thought retro night meant something else entirely. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1732 I started with the Giants in New York. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1733 We're going to crush you. Where do you keep the women? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1734 It's your lucky day. The ump is a total Neanderthal. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1735 Been riding the pine awhile? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1736 Sorry, you can't hunt and gather until the seventh-inning stretch. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1737 Why yes, the pitchers mound is a stones throw away 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1738 You'll do fine, he's throwing rocks. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1739 I'm 'Neandering' up to the plate. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1740 I’ll show you Pinstripes how it’s done. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1741 Watch out for his knuckle-dragger-ball. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1742 Not sweat, even a caveman can do it. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1743 You dress like that, and the pitcher will throw stones. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1744 Wow! Wade Boggs! when did you come out of retirement? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1745 If you've been embracing Paleo only as a diet, boy, you really are just not unlocking your full potential 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1746 It's my first start with this club. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1747 It's a Louisville Clubber 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1748 in my days we didn't wear armor 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1749 The ump says he doesn't care if you just escaped from from a dinosaur by coming forward from the past and walked over from La Brea, you're out for excessive tar on your bat. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1750 No biting. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1751 Is that one of those new Louisville sluggers ? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1752 How’s that whole Paleo diet thing workin’ out for you, big guy? 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1753 Pinstripes, are those still in? 1.2284 0.03422 162 126 35 1
1754 The steroids don't help with the swollen ankles? 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1755 Did you just get called up? 1.2284 0.03308 162 125 37 0
1756 So wait, let me get this straight. I don’t hit you in the head. Some guy throws a head at me and I hit it? 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1757 Welcome to the Big Leagues, pal. Just relax. I know you been thinkin' about this swing for a million years. And your wife just yelled that you'd never get to first base. Don't cave, man. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1758 Yeah......no. I actually don’t think you should bunt. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1759 Bet you thought you’d never get called up! 1.2284 0.03533 162 127 33 2
1760 Does that loincloth help prevent jock itch? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1761 Uhmmmm, I think he said, 'Bunt' not 'Hunt' !! 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1762 No, strike doesn't mean clobber. 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1763 Can you tell I’m wearing spanks? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1764 So, how's the wife and dinosaurs? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1765 That’s a heck of a throwback uniform. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1766 Remember, if the 3rd base coach starts drawing pictures of aliens on the left field wall, that's the sign to bunt. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1767 If you sling that bat at me, I'm tackling you at first, Ug. 1.2284 0.04225 162 134 19 9
1768 You built it. So I came by. Who were you expecting? 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1769 What do you mean, where's first base? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1770 I hear Nike dropped you as a sponsor. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1771 I'm guessing that you aren't going to bunt. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1772 I don't think the beard and the long hair are the problem. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1773 I just got called up. I spent a LOT of time in the minors. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1774 You must be their new switch hitter. That's some switch! 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1775 No "Knock-um head pretty girl, make donk-donk;" that comes after a batting average of at least .350 and a multimillion, multi-year contract. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1776 Grok! You’re finally out of the minors. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1777 One strike. You're out. 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1778 I bet you can't bunt! 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1779 Holy crap, please don’t kill me. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1780 Your outfit isn't like the rest of your team either. 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1781 One fireball please. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1782 You'll begin to notice that your game evolves at this level. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1783 Don't worry, at our rate of play it'll be the bronze age by the 9th inning. 1.2284 0.03533 162 127 33 2
1784 Well, you're taking throwback uniforms to a new level. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1785 Sorry, that isn't supposed to leave the clubhouse. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1786 This is why I hate the pinch hitter rule! 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1787 It's a baseball club not club baseball 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1788 You guys must have a great clubhouse. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1789 So, when did you decide to turn Pro-Magnon? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1790 You never know who will suit up for the Mets after the trade deadline 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1791 I don't suppose you are going to bunt. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1792 It's good to see you again Mark McGuire. I guess since you had to give up steroids, you moved on to the paleo diet. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1793 Is that a regulation club? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1794 If you hit this one, you'll make history. 1.2284 0.03533 162 127 33 2
1795 When did you get called up from Single A? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1796 No, seriously, the pitchers used to bat for themselves. 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1797 Man, I heard you guys have a deep bench, but not this deep! 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1798 So, how long were you with the Troglodytes farm team before being called up 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1799 You wanna go clubbing after this? 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1800 Hey what was your average last year? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1801 I brought my own bat. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1802 People say I'm the life of the party. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1803 Hey, Ump, is that "Pine Tar" on his bat?" 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1804 Been waiting a long time, have you? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1805 I'm going to need a bigger mask 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1806 Me corked bat. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1807 If you ever want to be a Yankee, you better get rid of that beard. 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1808 WITH THAT BAT EVEN I COULD HIT 70 HOME RUNS. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1809 If you strike out, you can't kill the ump. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1810 'Didn't you used to play for the Red Sox?' 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1811 How much time did you spend in the minors? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1812 Up from the pleistocene league? 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1813 So great that you could make it for the old-timer's game. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1814 Here comes the fast ball. You're welcome. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1815 Welcome to the club. 1.2284 0.03844 162 130 27 5
1816 Stick to the American League when you hit free agency. The National League doesn't allow the designated crusher. 1.2284 0.03640 162 128 31 3
1817 If I hit it out of the state, how many extra runs is that? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1818 Please keep your legs crossed if you slide into home. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1819 Who the hell autographed that bat? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1820 Alright, I'm a gatherer. I was really hoping we had put that behind us. 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1821 Where do I get gum? 1.2284 0.04039 162 132 23 7
1822 Now I know why they say there is no clock in baseball! 1.2284 0.04133 162 133 21 8
1823 In his later years, bam bam found minor success as a pitch hitter in the MLB 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1824 Just up from the Cro-Magnon League? 1.2284 0.03943 162 131 25 6
1825 Management made you wear your throwback outfit again, huh. 1.2284 0.03743 162 129 29 4
1826 Sorry, you’re out of your league here... 1.2278 0.03799 158 126 28 4
1827 I'm not the next batter. I'm the new catching coach. 1.2278 0.04105 158 129 22 7
1828 It's a living! 1.2258 0.03834 155 124 27 4
1829 You must be the Pleistocene Hammer we’ve heard so much about 1.2258 0.03942 155 125 25 5
1830 You earn RBIs, not ribs. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1831 I'm a Detroit tiger not a saber tooth tiger. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1832 Let's hope he doesn't misinterpret the hit and run sign. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1833 You say 'yaba-daba-do' one more time I club you. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1834 That bat is illegal! 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1835 We used to wear those uniforms back in the day. Not so good in this heat. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1836 No, man. You hit the ball, you don't eat it. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1837 Sorry, pal. The old timers' game was yesterday. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1838 The oversized bat isn’t your only problem. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1839 How's the wife? 1.2250 0.04154 160 132 20 8
1840 Yabba Dabba Strike 2! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1841 Bobby's in school but the two year old is home driving Maria crazy. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1842 Aren't you guys taking the team's new Geico sponsorship a little too far? 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1843 I see you're using a Louisville Clobber. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1844 You been juicin’ again, Rubble? 1.2250 0.04248 160 133 18 9
1845 Evolution is overrated. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1846 Did you know they say we’re all at least two percent Neanderthal ? 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1847 Watch me hit the next one back to the stone age. 1.2250 0.04154 160 132 20 8
1848 Going way back for throwback night, huh? 1.2250 0.03541 160 126 32 2
1849 I'm fine with the new uniform and no shoes, but the bat has to go. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1850 I understand your hitting game has evolved. 1.2250 0.03541 160 126 32 2
1851 One last time; not me- the ball! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1852 Whatever you do, don't slide into second base. 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1853 Gosh, this guy's been playing forever! 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1854 No. Me hit you. Not ball. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1855 Watch out for his fast boulder. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1856 It's so easy even a caveman can do it. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1857 How do we know your club's not corked? 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1858 So, let me get this straight: you’re here with me and Steve is currently fighting a tyrannosaurus with a baseball bat? 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1859 Just give me the sign and we won't have any problems. Okay? 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1860 Originally, baseball was called "club it". 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1861 First, you hit the round thing like it’s dinner, and then you run like a sabertooth tiger. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1862 Ballclub. Literally. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1863 Yes, I’ve been in all the games. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1864 Do me a favor. Be careful where you toss that thing. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1865 This is how it works. The pitcher is going to throw baseballs at your club, trying to hit it. Your job is to swing wildly, making him miss it.” 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1866 Now,remember,Gnork,keep your eye on the ball,not the head. Ball,not head. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1867 No, you're looking for the Paleolithic Era. We're still in the free agency/arbitration era. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1868 Nice ball club. 1.2250 0.04154 160 132 20 8
1869 You might just need all that equipment if I strike out. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1870 Me Grok, hate Red Sox! 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1871 I thought, "getting knocked back to the Stone Age..." was just an expression. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1872 I’ve been waiting years for this 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1873 You must be the new guy! 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1874 I presume you don’t have much occasion to slide. 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1875 Watch out,this pitcher invented fire. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1876 You must be the new guy from the BC league. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1877 This old thing? Nike of course. 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1878 This could be your comeback season! 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1879 Name is Chuck. Just got called up from the La Brea Sabre Tooth’s AAA. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1880 This is a ball park, not Jurassic Park 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1881 Just watch the backswing. huh, Roc? 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1882 Nice try, Pete. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1883 You spend a very long time in the minors? 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1884 When's the last time you made the playoffs? 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1885 Finally, a plan to capture millennials! 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1886 what would happen if I hit you out of the park? 1.2250 0.04154 160 132 20 8
1887 Speak softly, I get it. Speak at all? 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1888 Ha, you'll be out if I strike you once! 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1889 I'm the designated caveman. Want to make something of it? 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1890 How many Old-Timers' Day games is this for you 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1891 Knuckleballer, not knuckle-dragger! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1892 Are we here to play ball, or you gonna take a poo?! 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1893 We call them dugouts. But hey, if you say cave I'm fine with that!" 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1894 These throwback uniforms are getting old. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1895 You don't need a bat that big; you're facing the Mets bullpen. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1896 I hate ‘throwback’ jersey night too. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1897 You really have gone all-in on the Paleo diet. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1898 So what if you hit it out of Jurassic Park. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1899 The game has evolved since you last played. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1900 You guys are taking this throwback uniform day too far. 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1901 I thought these rule changes set the game back a few years, but this is ridiculous. 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1902 You can save me how much? 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1903 Bitching throwback jersey. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1904 I must say it's refreshing to see a guy come up to hit with no batting gloves and arm padding. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1905 Well I don't like your ball club either! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1906 What? So easy a caveman can do it. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1907 You did ask me to tell you when you're being inappropriate. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1908 My bat and appearance may be off-putting, but can’t you fix the position of the plate, move back of my swing path and explain how you keep your balance like that? 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1909 I'm thinking, "intentional walk". 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1910 You really are from the bush leagues. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1911 This is going to be a little faster than what you're used to! 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1912 It's the Cubs, not Clubs! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1913 What do you mean Abner Doubleday didn't invent baseball? 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1914 The bat I get, but that dress'll be hell to slide in. 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1915 What do you mean mammoths were still alive when this game started? 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1916 Just don't throw your bat. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1917 So it's okay to hit one out the park. 1.2250 0.03541 160 126 32 2
1918 Remember, I only catch the ball. The pitcher is the one to take out your frustrations on. 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1919 Now that’s what I call a throwback jersey! 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1920 Uck throw ball, you hit ball... got it? Play Ball! 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1921 So, you made it to the big club. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1922 Well, actually we did stop using boulders a while ago, not so much because of the casualty count as what a nightmare they were to autograph! 1.2250 0.04154 160 132 20 8
1923 You again?? It's Fenway, not Jurassic!! 1.2250 0.03757 160 128 28 4
1924 I think that might be an illegal bat. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1925 I like to walk softly and carry a big stick! 1.2250 0.03650 160 127 30 3
1926 Your team's throwback uniforms are a bit overboard. 1.2250 0.03428 160 125 34 1
1927 Are you wearing the Philly Phanatic's fur? 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1928 Saber-tooth-tiger-metrics has really changed the game. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1929 You want to throw me a curve ball? Think again 1.2250 0.04058 160 131 22 7
1930 You've got no balls, man. 1.2250 0.03860 160 129 26 5
1931 Don't worry, you got this. You're a natural. 1.2250 0.03960 160 130 24 6
1932 We're gonna need bigger balls! 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1933 Archaeologists found him in a dugout. 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1934 There’s no clubbing in baseball. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1935 It’s ‘America’s Pasttime’—have you heard of America? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1936 Do you have my rock? 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1937 Are you sure that's no more than 2 3/4 inches in diameter? 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1938 Just picture the face of your worst enemy. Or a woolly mammoth. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1939 Two men on, top of the Paleolithic. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1940 We didn't use protection in my day. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1941 So, what's next? 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1942 Extinction is not that bad, really. You get used to it after a while. 1.2229 0.04200 157 130 19 8
1943 I hope they don’t throw me out for having the pine tar too high... 1.2229 0.03453 157 123 33 1
1944 Okay guys, I know he struck out last at bat but remember--he's evolved a lot since then. 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1945 I can see you are giving me the finger! 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1946 Been in the minors long...? 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1947 I read about your trade in a cave in France 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
1948 Who did you have for breakfast? 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1949 What’s with the beard? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1950 The spin of the ball creates a partial vacuum on one side so... 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1951 Hello, plate.” 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1952 Just what farm team did you say you played for? 1.2229 0.03453 157 123 33 1
1953 Just up from the minors? 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1954 It will be about 1 million years until you get out of your slump. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1955 Weren't you in that Geico commercial? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1956 You’ve come a long way, dude, considering eighteen months ago you were part of a glacier. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1957 No hunter-gathering until the seventh-inning stretch. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1958 I am not going to block your slide this time. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1959 Wow..did you know Babe Ruth? 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1960 How's the backswing on that thing? 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1961 The only reason that bat is legal is because you contributed DNA to 6% of the ump's genome. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1962 You people crazy, why hit little object already dead and call it "big game." 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1963 Although his on-base percentage was terrible, Moog usually ended up hitting 'something' during his at bats. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1964 It looks out of date. 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
1965 Old Timers Day again. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1966 What! We're getting sponsored by a paleo snack company this season. 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1967 I heard it takes 4 million years to get to first base. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1968 Between knees and letters -- what are they? 1.2229 0.03453 157 123 33 1
1969 How many innings is this going to take? 1.2229 0.03453 157 123 33 1
1970 I was just recalled from the Mesozoic 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1971 It's Babe Ruthless. What's it to you? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1972 And you’re telling me that’s not corked? 1.2229 0.04200 157 130 19 8
1973 Three more rocks and you walk to first base. 1.2229 0.03453 157 123 33 1
1974 I'm pinch-hitting for the rest of the team. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1975 no, it's Iowa... 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
1976 Coach wanted us to get back to basics... 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1977 Wow! I thought "Neanderthals" was just the team name! 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1978 I'll tell you what I'm staring at....your'e not wearing a helmet 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
1979 Wow, this really is Old Timers Day. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1980 I hate these Old-Timers' games. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1981 Sorry you lost that Geico endorsement deal, but I hear Papa John's is looking for a new spokesman. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1982 They say you're a mammoth striker... 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1983 You didn’t hear? It’s throwback jersey night. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1984 Choke up and look for an inside slider. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1985 I don't think I can catch a rock going a hundred miles an hour... 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1986 Haven't I seen you in the clubhouse? 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1987 Red Sox - ya finally got uniforms to match the beards. 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
1988 We thought "everyone does playoff beards"... 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1989 When I was growing up there was no such thing as 'sexual assault'. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1990 Heck of a streak you're on. You haven't changed uniforms in how long? 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
1991 Just you wait - our bullpen has a knuckle-baller you CAN'T hit. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1992 One rock, two strikes" 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1993 And now, for the inaugural ‘First Hit:’ the 45th President of the United States! 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1994 Yabba Dabba Doo! 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1995 Not me, the round thing. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
1996 You were NOT supposed to eat it! 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
1997 Sorry Grork, that's not what we meant by club sport. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
1998 You're off to a rocky start, Bam-Bam. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
1999 I guess things have loosened up now that George is gone. 1.2229 0.04200 157 130 19 8
2000 If I Strike Out, You're Next. 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
2001 They just called me up from the Prehistoric League. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2002 Sorry. You need a bat not a leg bone! 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2003 You couldn't hit the broad side of a brontosaurus with that thing 1.2229 0.03682 157 125 29 3
2004 I think you overdid it on the Paleo diet. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
2005 That's the slowest trip around the bases I've ever seen. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2006 Where are the women? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2007 I hate throwback uniform night. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
2008 Shouldn't you be in the clubhouse? 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2009 Yup, it's still three strikes and you're out. 1.2229 0.04200 157 130 19 8
2010 Now THAT’S a “Throwback Jersey.” 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
2011 Enough with the “Flintstones” wisecracks. You are really dating yourself. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
2012 You’ve heard of the Louisville Slugger, well this is the Bedrock Slugger. 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2013 I heard you bought a new place with a helluva man cave. 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
2014 Uh, this time try to remember "Ogg hit ball, not Catcher!" 1.2229 0.03791 157 126 27 4
2015 Helluva 'Throwback Night,' don't you think 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2016 Let's try an evolutionary curve... 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
2017 You're supposed to hit the ball, Neanderthal! 1.2229 0.04001 157 128 23 6
2018 Ya know, that beard is why the Yankees will never trade for you, even if your OBP is .419 during the last three seasons. 1.2229 0.03897 157 127 25 5
2019 It really took ages for you to finally make it to the world series 1.2229 0.03569 157 124 31 2
2020 Do you know Barney Rubble? 1.2229 0.04101 157 129 21 7
2021 Personally, I think the league is going a little overboard with the retro uniforms. 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2022 High and inside? Not a chance! 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2023 I asksed for a plate at the buffet and I can't figure out why they sent me out here. 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2024 No batting gloves--you're old school. 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2025 And I thought Clemens was old... 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2026 You're the Mascot and the Center Fielder? 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2027 Yeah, you're changing the game, but you're not helping it evolve! 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2028 I think you've taken that paleo thing too far. 1.2208 0.04346 154 129 16 9
2029 What, No Helmet? 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2030 I think you took the Paleo Diet to the extreme! 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2031 That bat better not be corked. 1.2208 0.03714 154 123 28 3
2032 I know it's "Old Timer's Day", but how old? 1.2208 0.03714 154 123 28 3
2033 Yeah, they just brought me up. 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2034 So how’s the wife and kids ? 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2035 I've heard of "waiting on a fastball," but this is ridiculous." 1.2208 0.03597 154 122 30 2
2036 Wow. I thought my ten years to make it to the ‘’Bigs” was an eternity. 1.2208 0.03714 154 123 28 3
2037 Back ‘em up, fellas. This guy’s got a Louisville Clubber. 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
2038 Don’t you think you’re taking this Paleo diet a little far Joe? 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2039 Finally!! I’ve been in the dugout a long, long time. 1.2208 0.04042 154 126 22 6
2040 Yup, we still call it home. 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
2041 You can't use that! I don't care what the original regulations were! 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
2042 Neanderville Slugger 1.2208 0.04442 154 130 14 10
2043 We've got just the pitcher for you... his ERA is 150,000 BC. 1.2208 0.04247 154 128 18 8
2044 You guys really take that "pastime" business seriously, huh? 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2045 I heard they dug up your old tweets about woolly mammoths being dumb. 1.2208 0.03936 154 125 24 5
2046 The pre-steroid era!! 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
2047 The guys throwing a baseball fella, not a boulder. 1.2208 0.03826 154 124 26 4
2048 You know what the 'ball' is, right? That's the only thing you're allowed to hit. 1.2208 0.04146 154 127 20 7
2049 Just to make sure we're on the same page, you hit the ball, NOT the guy catching the ball. 1.2200 0.03768 150 120 27 3
2050 I'm giving the sign for a High Ball. It isn't a pitch. I need one every time you come to bat. 1.2200 0.03999 150 122 23 5
2051 When the ball crosses the plate, you swing and hit it. 1.2200 0.03394 150 117 33 0
2052 Another asterisk for the record books. 1.2194 0.03692 155 124 28 3
2053 You do know how this works, right? 1.2194 0.03913 155 126 24 5
2054 Long stint in the minors? 1.2194 0.03804 155 125 26 4
2055 George, c’mon man...I can see the pine tar on your jersey. 1.2194 0.03913 155 126 24 5
2056 In this case, batter is a noun not a verb. 1.2194 0.03804 155 125 26 4
2057 Everyone's about those retro uniforms, hey? 1.2194 0.03692 155 124 28 3
2058 Our manager only allows the beard. 1.2194 0.03804 155 125 26 4
2059 We're not gonna have another La Brea tar incident, are we? 1.2194 0.04320 155 130 16 9
2060 They said they were bring you over from another club... 1.2194 0.03913 155 126 24 5
2061 When I said 'go back to the way it was' I meant get rid of Replay Review 1.2194 0.03913 155 126 24 5
2062 When I heard that your team was switching to new uniforms, this is the last thing I would have expected. 1.2194 0.03804 155 125 26 4
2063 And now, pinching hitting for Og, . . 1.2194 0.03692 155 124 28 3
2064 It's past your pastime. 1.2179 0.03557 156 124 30 2
2065 Yo Fred....Your bat smells like the La Brea Tar Pit. 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2066 Batting cleanup for the Washington Neanderthals and using his own club is Justice Goneawr 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2067 I thought throwback uniform night was tomorrow?! 1.2179 0.03671 156 125 28 3
2068 It's a beautiful night for baseball here at Jurrasic Park. 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2069 You must be that old school player we’ve heard about. 1.2179 0.03782 156 126 26 4
2070 So I guess you bat alt-righty. 1.2179 0.03671 156 125 28 3
2071 Yeah, I knew beards were in, but that's taking things too far. 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2072 that better not be a cork bat 1.2179 0.03671 156 125 28 3
2073 Fear the beard. 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2074 Stone clubs are not regulation 1.2179 0.03890 156 127 24 5
2075 Designated by who, Barney Rubble? 1.2179 0.03995 156 128 22 6
2076 They need to quit it with all these throwback jerseys. 1.2171 0.04166 152 126 19 7
2077 The balls a little hairy so it works to your benefit 1.2171 0.03605 152 121 29 2
2078 Just picture the face of a saber-toothed tiger on the ball. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2079 Some say the game is evolving. But I think it’s the same as it ever was. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2080 So, how’s your wife and my kids? 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2081 The "Save Rule" has been changed again. Other than that, it's the same game. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2082 How do you swing a bat? It’s so easy even a caveman can do it. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2083 Time flies 1.2171 0.04269 152 127 17 8
2084 You! Put slider back on plate. 1.2171 0.04060 152 125 21 6
2085 It's only an Old Timers Game. Just do your best. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2086 Nice oar. Also, this isn't Wack-a-Mole, gramps. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2087 Home Run Hitter 1.2171 0.03605 152 121 29 2
2088 You must be part of the evolving rotation. 1.2171 0.03605 152 121 29 2
2089 After you hit don't throw the bat. Just drop it and run. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2090 Of course I've heard of Shoeless Joe Jackson. 1.2171 0.04060 152 125 21 6
2091 Hey, clubber clubber, hey clubber! 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2092 I've got no beef with you identifying as paleo, but you've still got to use a standard issue bat. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2093 I know it is you guys’ retro week, but I thought the Louisville Clubber was illegal. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2094 What! He is going to try to throw the stone past me and not at me. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2095 Ya'll have the best uniforms. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2096 Laugh, but you don't know my stats in the Neander Valley League. 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2097 No, the GEICO thing didn't pan out, but I'm batting .785 so far this year and hit a homer to Uzbekistan last week. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2098 So you are the phenom they call Troglodyte. 1.2171 0.03605 152 121 29 2
2099 You're not playing for a club team anymore. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2100 Didn't you used to play with the Tigers? 1.2171 0.04166 152 126 19 7
2101 What do you mean, I need to where a batting helmet? 1.2171 0.04269 152 127 17 8
2102 Rule #1: You hit the ball, not me! 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2103 I wish you mascots would learn your place! 1.2171 0.03724 152 122 27 3
2104 Watch out. This pitcher throws a mammoth fast ball. 1.2171 0.04269 152 127 17 8
2105 I'm just not sure it's regulation - any of it. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2106 Three squares, two big sticks. Full count. 1.2171 0.03482 152 120 31 1
2107 I thought by "paleo" you just meant eating more protein, Gary. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2108 Remember, you're only supposed to hit the ball. 1.2171 0.04060 152 125 21 6
2109 It's called "the shift".... 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2110 Bob, I think you may be taking the Paleo thing a bit too far. 1.2171 0.04166 152 126 19 7
2111 Just pretend it's prey when it comes at you. 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2112 You Org, Me Ump 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2113 I find Old-Timers' Games cheesy. 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2114 And who are you supposed to be, Shoeless Joe Jackson? 1.2171 0.03605 152 121 29 2
2115 Why can't you just accept that the designated hitter is here to stay? 1.2171 0.03951 152 124 23 5
2116 Aren't you taking this paleo thing a bit too seriously? 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2117 I'm a bearded woman. Yes, I'm wearing a dress, AND I carry a big stick. Any other questions ump? 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2118 What do you think I'm overcompensating for? 1.2171 0.03840 152 123 25 4
2119 When did they trade you from the Tigers to the Mammoths” 1.2166 0.03537 157 125 30 2
2120 I thought you retired... 1.2166 0.03972 157 129 22 6
2121 Charlestown Cavemen.....good name. 1.2166 0.04073 157 130 20 7
2122 Hey, No Shirt No Shoes No Swings 1.2162 0.03780 148 119 26 3
2123 Just a heads up, Dave, your manager missed the point of throwback uniform day. 1.2162 0.03780 148 119 26 3
2124 You know, Slugger is just a nickname? 1.2162 0.04128 148 122 20 6
2125 So you're trying to hit the ball, right? 1.2162 0.03528 148 117 30 1
2126 I want to warn you, this pitchers a headhunter and I mean that literally 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2127 Hey buddy... I bet ya mother was a big hairy ape 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2128 In the Cave Leagues, catchers need a lot more equipment. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2129 Three rocks and you’re out. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2130 Is Barney on deck? 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2131 I’m transitioning. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2132 Let me guess. You just came up from the Mets' farm team in Bedrock? 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2133 Ya, I’ve been with this club for a long time. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2134 Crushing the ball" means hitting it out of the park, not "beating it into the ground. 1.2148 0.04212 149 124 18 7
2135 It’s take me out to the ball game. Not take me out at the ball game. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2136 Jeez - just how long was that 7th inning stretch, anyway? 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2137 I don’t care if your diet is paleo. Your uniform still isn’t regulation. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2138 You have too much pine tar on your club. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2139 Please try to hit the ball, not me. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2140 You're in trouble for two reasons. One, this pitcher throws heat. Two, you don't know what that means. 1.2148 0.04319 149 125 16 8
2141 I'll take it from here. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2142 The old-timers’ game isn’t until next week. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2143 As long as I keep hitting, the outfit is OK with management. 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2144 Let me guess,its Fred! 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2145 Just how long have you been on the Paleo diet? 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2146 No, you are not seeing things; I will be hitting the next pitch into the Stone Age. 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2147 Dude! We won! You can shave the beard now. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2148 I saw Herman Munster do this once. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2149 First hire an agent, then discover fire. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2150 It's called "the dugout" - not "your cave." 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2151 I hope that you have a high launch angle. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2152 Good thing they haven’t discovered asterisks yet 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2153 When did the Mets get new uniforms? 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2154 Homer off Lefty’s curveball? So easy, even a caveman can do it, right?! 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2155 Just got called up from Bedrock, eh? 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2156 Just got called up from the paleos? 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2157 From the way he smells, I can tell he's going to hit a foul ball. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2158 And it only took you 60,000 years to get your call-up. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2159 I gather your manager is strong on fundamentals. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2160 What's it like being called up from retirement after so many years? 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2161 Next up, Homo Erectus! Looks like he is bringing the heat tonight folks. 1.2148 0.04212 149 124 18 7
2162 What a surprise! I never dreamed they'd call you up. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2163 Is that a "Simian Slugger"? 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2164 Throwing it way back tonight, huh Terry? 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2165 The mastodon bone is illegal but your beard is cool, step in pal. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2166 Remember, if you get a hit do not throw the bat this time. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2167 Well this is a curveball. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2168 Remember, if you take a base, no knuckle dragging allowed. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2169 Just ask the dinosaurs, three strikes and your out. 1.2148 0.04212 149 124 18 7
2170 No. If you hit it, you can not eat it, and if you miss, return to your cave. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2171 I love that you have not let the modern game affect your approach 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2172 Wow. Your team took it to far with the vintage uniforms. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2173 So where is your helmet, buddy? 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2174 Truly America's past time. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2175 The umpire's hiding in the restroom 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2176 I just think comparing yourself to Jackie Robinson is a bit of a stretch. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2177 Coach asked you to deal with the President’s opening pitch 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2178 Walk softly 1.2148 0.04319 149 125 16 8
2179 Shoeless Joe, is that really you? 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2180 This is the Majors, kid. If you don't stop crowding the plate, I'll signal him for another brushback, and I don't think you can handle it. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2181 Glad to see you're off the steroids. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2182 When the catcher said he wanted to go clubbing tonight, this is not what he had in mind. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2183 Maybe these games are getting to be too long. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2184 Watch out. He’s a head hunter too. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2185 God, I hate the playoffs. 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2186 Don't worry. Even a caveman can get a hit with this guy on the mound. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2187 Who are you calling a knuckleball? 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2188 Okay, Okay, you swing a big stick, but plenty of guys in baseball have a bigger beard these days! 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2189 I hate turn back the clock night. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2190 They call me B.C. 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2191 Last thing I remember is a rounded second and felt really cold. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2192 Didn't you used to play with the Mammoths? 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2193 Farm team? No, they called me up from the hunter and gatherer team. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2194 I see your ERA is Neolithic. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2195 It seems like this game has been going on for ages! 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2196 I think you misunderstood me when I said hit it back to the Stone Age 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2197 No shoes, no cap, no pitches. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2198 What do you mean it isn't regulation? Who cares about regulations anymore? 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2199 Yeah, we all have playoff beards. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2200 No, no. Sabermetrics have nothing to do with a tiger. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2201 Don't look at me that way. I eat what I bat. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2202 The maple club is fine, but you still have to wear a batting helmet. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2203 Let's see whatcha got, rookie. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2204 No..no. BATTING. You start batting. No battering. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2205 Try calling me out. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2206 Johnny Damon, coming out of retirement? 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2207 Remember, Grog. If you strike out, go to the dugout, not the pitcher's mound. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2208 Finally got called up to the majors? 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2209 Yes, we can watch Jurassic Park again after the game for the hundredth time. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2210 That mask won’t help in this fight, believe me. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2211 Uh, yeah. Brute force will work. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2212 Not even you can hit the anachronistic curveball... good luck. 1.2148 0.03757 149 120 26 3
2213 You have a point - the dugout is like a cave, but that's still not appropriate. 1.2148 0.03634 149 119 28 2
2214 Hey, I haven’t seen you in ages, how is Pebbles and Bam-Bam? 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2215 Old timers day has gone to far. 1.2148 0.03876 149 121 24 4
2216 Who said you could use the practice bat? 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2217 I'm just moonlighting at this until I can upgrade my man cave. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2218 Overdid it with the PEDs, I see." 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2219 Don't swing. Just hold it up high and look like you will. The law of averages is on your side. 1.2148 0.04103 149 123 20 6
2220 I gotta hand it to you Saber Tooth Ball Cats . You really went old school with your new uniforms 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2221 It looks like a house, "Home" plate?... Yeah...nevermind. 1.2148 0.03991 149 122 22 5
2222 Just so long as it isn't aluminum. 1.2133 0.03735 150 121 26 3
2223 He sees you're not wearing a helmet he'll go for your head! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2224 Is that pine tar from La Brae? 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2225 I beat you to pulp 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2226 That's one Mammoth bat you got there, buddy 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2227 Nice bat. You certaintly won't have to worry about striking out as it's widewr than the plate. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2228 I spent a long time in the minor leagues 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2229 I said "Join the club," not bring one! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2230 I didnt recive a uniform 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2231 Pal, you gotta look the other way! 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2232 Steroids? God NO! But this Paleo diet seems to have its own side effects! 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2233 Take it easy! It just means you’re one ball away from a walk. 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2234 Yep. I'm goin' commando. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2235 Is that a sabre-toothed tiger on first base? 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2236 Of course you can You own the club. 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2237 Are you on the paleo diet? 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2238 Ok Og, just remember, a called strike doesn't mean you can hit me. 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2239 Hey kid, I guess the Steinbrenners aren't enforcing the no-beard rule anymore huh ? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2240 This is Bob's first game back after his suspension for domestic assault. 1.2109 0.04448 147 125 13 9
2241 I’m actually undercover for your team. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2242 I said, watch for a curve ball, not a cave ball. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2243 Wanna see why they call it ‘slugging percentage?’ 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2244 Hey, hold on. Didn’t I see you playing at the old-timers games this year? 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2245 Ugg! Digging the new uniform! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2246 They told me you were up with the big club 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2247 Please don 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2248 So, your the Sultan of What from the Neanderthal League! 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2249 No, my head is NOT in the strike zone. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2250 I always strike out, but not in the way you think. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2251 No, Cubs is the name of the team! 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2252 Just hit the ball. You don't have to hunt or gather it. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2253 The key to a successful hitter is not to overthink. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2254 It's called "Remembrance of Things Past". You should read it some time. 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2255 Geez, enough with the steroids already! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2256 Doing the full Paleo? 1.2109 0.03511 147 117 29 1
2257 I think you got too much pine tar on that club. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2258 Are you sure I’m supposed to hit the ball? We usually hit heads with this. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2259 This 'Paleo Night' promotion is getting out of hand. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2260 Have you heard if it's going to be a soft or hard Brexit? 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2261 Sorry to hear it didn’t work out in Hollyrock with Pebbles. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2262 Honest, there's not smidgeon of pine tar on this bat. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2263 Hand signals? You're such a Neanderthal. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2264 Up next, Designated Hitter Ned Anderthal! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2265 Is your farm system really a hunter gatherer system now? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2266 You can't hit. You are out of uniform. 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2267 I thought you were traded to the Yankees! 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2268 I played for the major club league before. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2269 Is that a bat out of hell? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2270 No, you're IN a club, and that's a bat, but not that KIND of bat. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2271 They will talk about this game in pre-history! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2272 These theme nights are getting extreme. 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2273 How will you slide into first? 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2274 I prefer pine tar but some of the old school guys still use the tar pits. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2275 Oh -- I forgot it's throwback jersey night. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2276 ME...LIKE...SABERMETRICS 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2277 That's why the walk-up music was 'Alley-Oop?' 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2278 Most of the guys in our league prefer aluminum bats. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2279 The Great Bamm-Bamm-bino steps up to the plate. 1.2109 0.04342 147 124 15 8
2280 I can’t wait to tell my kids I met the bat’s inventor. 1.2109 0.03511 147 117 29 1
2281 I don't think bone bats are legal 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2282 Beards in baseball is so 2017. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2283 I guess they were serious about getting you up here with the big club. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2284 Wow! They finally sent you up from the sub-minors. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2285 You're taking too many steroids. 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2286 SO YOU SAY YOUR 18 AND YOUR'RE FROM RUSSIA? 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2287 No, seriously dude, with a cranium like that you're gonna want a batting helmet. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2288 You might want to start your swing a tad earlier. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2289 I know that's you Sammy - the corked bat gives it away. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2290 The Home Run Derby was last week. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2291 Back from the Bush League, I see. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2292 You don't bring a club to a bat fight 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2293 I'm not sure how I feel about the retro uniforms. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2294 I love retro uniform day. 1.2109 0.03511 147 117 29 1
2295 Peeeeeyeew -- I know why you're not the clean-up batter. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2296 They did tell me we were going to play against some 'mammoth sluggers'... 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2297 Some day you'll understand what 3 and 2 means. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2298 I haven't seen you since the La Brea Tar Pits Game. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2299 They cheer loudest when you swing and miss the ball." 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2300 I've been at this a lot longer than you. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2301 "Hey batta, batta. You couldn't hit a mastodon if it was sound asleep. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2302 ball club 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2303 Fair warning–he throws a mean curve rock. 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2304 I think you're taking "clubhouse" too literally. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2305 Sorry, this plate doesn't have food. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2306 America it’s past time. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2307 I can’t count. Don’t worry. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2308 (catcher signal) ‘knuckle-dragger ball’ 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2309 The ‘Green Monster’ isn’t literal, you know. 1.2109 0.03511 147 117 29 1
2310 Too much pine tar? 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2311 Have you checked the rules on that? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2312 You been with my wife? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2313 You can bat as long as you don't "take a knee." 1.2109 0.04233 147 123 17 7
2314 Whadda you starin' at? We invented mom and apple pie too. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2315 Watch out for the Brush back pitch, it's evolutionary 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2316 No! We're a baseball "club". Use a bat like everyone else. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2317 Gender neutral uniforms. How cool. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2318 It was clearly a strike! 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2319 Sure, it’s certified. It’s a B.C. Slugger. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2320 Bunt. 1.2109 0.03642 147 118 27 2
2321 He throw chin music, you feel pain from club. Comprende? 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2322 I was traded years ago. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2323 This preseason keeps getting earlier and earlier! 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2324 I'll tell you one last time, you hit the BALL not ME. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2325 Where I come from, the curve ball hasn’t been invented yet. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2326 What's wrong with my bat? You got a problem with my bat?! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2327 It's called Free Agency 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2328 Bush league ball club, eh? 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2329 Playing to his base" is more a figure of speach. 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2330 No offense, but bringing back the old Hall O’ Famers is NOT going to boost ratings. 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2331 I have a tight swing. 1.2109 0.04007 147 121 21 5
2332 No helmet? 1.2109 0.04122 147 122 19 6
2333 Been in the minors a while? 1.2109 0.03511 147 117 29 1
2334 Wow, you must've been in the minors forever! 1.2109 0.03889 147 120 23 4
2335 You forgot your cleats, again. 1.2109 0.03767 147 119 25 3
2336 Throwback uniform day is next week, Harry! 1.2105 0.03571 152 122 28 2
2337 Old timers day at the old ball park again 1.2086 0.03748 139 112 25 2
2338 Wrong GAME, dude. 1.2086 0.03885 139 113 23 3
2339 You give our drugs a bad name, Zug. For heaven’s sake, get a haircut and buy a uniform. 1.2086 0.04017 139 114 21 4
2340 So you were called up from the Bedrock Quarrymen. 1.2086 0.04017 139 114 21 4
2341 It's not your batting average that's got us worried. 1.2086 0.03606 139 111 27 1
2342 Step aside buddy, no Trump supporters are allowed to bat here. 1.2086 0.04268 139 116 17 6
2343 Today, maul ball. Tomorrow, woolly mammoth. 1.2086 0.04017 139 114 21 4
2344 That throwback jersey is a keeper. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2345 That bat doesn't look regulation. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2346 I need bigger balls! 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2347 The hard part is the domestic violence policy 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2348 And everyone thought it would be Ted Williams who would make the first icy slumber comeback. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2349 That's not quite what we meant by BYOB, but I'm impressed by your spelling 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2350 I thought the Red Sox traded you? 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2351 So what if my bat's not regulation. Do you want to make something out of it? 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2352 This may just be sour grapes, but I sure hope "Jurassic World Series" is the final sequel in this whole franchise. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2353 Well now you're just grandstanding. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2354 Rod Serling says, "Hello." 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2355 Ready to knock it out of Jurassic Park? 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2356 Can I get your cave drawing after the game? 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2357 Got any naked pictographs of your wife? Wanna see some? 1.2083 0.04394 144 122 14 8
2358 Not nearly as easy as GEICO. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2359 The club is a team. You hit with a bat. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2360 I didn’t know the Paleo diet came with a uniform. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2361 I’m Lief, the Relief. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2362 I can’t wait to see my rookie card. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2363 Real tigers don't have pinstripes. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2364 Just screwballs for you. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2365 It’s 2-3 and you. 1.2083 0.04282 144 121 16 7
2366 This ain't the Neanderthal League anymore. 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2367 I got it in the clubhouse. Why do you ask? 1.2083 0.03536 144 115 28 1
2368 Yeah, I tried the Paleo diet, but it just didn't work that well for me. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2369 Ya I was a late-bloomer too. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2370 No, we did not steal your mammoth. 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2371 Two things pal, one is your pants are still on, and two is, you need to dig a hole. I'm not the cleanup hitter 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2372 Ok old-timer, let's see what you got! 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2373 Me hunter, you gatherer. 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2374 Just don't throw the bat, pal! 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2375 I've never seen a more natural swing. 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2376 For what it's worth, I miss the Phoenician-ball era, too. 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2377 So they finally found someone PEDs negative.” 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2378 Hey...move up in the batter's box 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2379 I remember the days before the designated hunter-gatherer 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2380 How'd you beat the tests? 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2381 You scared away the ump. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2382 I see you haven't played in a long time... 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2383 I could stand erect too, but that would make catching kinda hard. 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2384 You got panties on under that sack? 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2385 Carl, it was fun in the bedroom but not at work. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2386 The designated hitter rule has certainly extended your career hasn't it. 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2387 No, you dumbbell, it wasn't the 'middle finger'! 1.2083 0.04282 144 121 16 7
2388 Come on, ya must know Freddie Flintstone? Played catcher, yelled "yabba dabba dew" as the batter swung. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2389 This has been a really long inning. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2390 I was thinking of going 'paleo' myself! 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2391 I don’t think Mr Trump wants anybody kneeling anymore... get up! 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2392 Carl, I know I texted "past time" instead of "pastime" but could we just play? 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2393 Remember, this time swing at the ball and not at my head. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2394 Name’s Casey. I’m going to bring joy to Mudville 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2395 Where is your batting helmet? Have you been living in a cave 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2396 Traditionally, you should at least be wearing socks. 1.2083 0.03536 144 115 28 1
2397 I think you may have misunderstood the concept of sabermetrics. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2398 Ok, one more time: the strike zone is not my head... 1.2083 0.04048 144 119 20 5
2399 The Yankees chose not to participate in retro jersey night. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2400 I heard you've had a Mammoth hitting year 1.2083 0.03801 144 117 24 3
2401 And you must be the new guy from the Mets’ hunter/gatherer system, right? 1.2083 0.03671 144 116 26 2
2402 Well, I've been a designated hitter for my clan for years. 1.2083 0.04167 144 120 18 6
2403 I'm not judging – if the Paleo Diet's working for you, great. 1.2083 0.03927 144 118 22 4
2404 Ever clubbed a 99 mph fast ball before? 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2405 Performance enhancing clubs are not allowed. 1.2057 0.03701 141 114 25 2
2406 Steroids. Why? 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2407 You can't be up, you're not on the roster. I don't care if you are the "missing link". 1.2057 0.03416 141 112 29 0
2408 Lemme guess. Another call-up from the originalists? 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
2409 Looks Like You've Been In The Minors For Eons 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2410 Boxers, no. Briefs, no. Leopard skin loincloth, no. I'm telling you, you'll never guess! 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
2411 "Dude, is that your Flintmobile in the no parking zone?" 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2412 You are taking this paleo diet too far. 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2413 Here's a little tip for you, rookie. You need to shorten up on your jawbone. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2414 Cool. You're the first Pro-Magnon man. 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2415 But i told you, you have to wear cleats! 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
2416 That's taking "throwback" a little extreme, isn't it? 1.2057 0.03701 141 114 25 2
2417 Sure, I'm only a .220 hitter, but I have a .340 fantasy average in my man-cave. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2418 Don't you think it's time to retire? 1.2057 0.03561 141 113 27 1
2419 Somehow, 'The Cleveland Neanderthals' manages to be even more offensive. 1.2057 0.04213 141 118 17 6
2420 Mr. Og, it's truly an honor to play alongside a veteran of the game such as yourself. 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2421 My wife went hunting with the smaller bat 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2422 Show some respect, I'm a Pro-Magnon 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
2423 Okay! Punt and gather! Punt and gather! 1.2057 0.04091 141 117 19 5
2424 Can I interest you in some car insurance. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2425 I think you guys are taking "Throwback Thursday" a bit too far. 1.2057 0.03835 141 115 23 3
2426 You guys went all out for ‘Retro Day’. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2427 "I hope you're not planning to slide in that outfit." 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2428 It's simple, just keep your eye on the ball. 1.2057 0.03701 141 114 25 2
2429 I am the designated cave man. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2430 Yeah pal, hit it back to the Stone Age. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2431 No sliding- this isn't an X-rated game. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2432 It's called the designated hitter, not the designated hunter. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2433 You're really taking this paleo diet too far! 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2434 Yeah, of course we’ve evolved, Bob — now try to hit the little ball with you big wooden stick. 1.2057 0.03965 141 116 21 4
2435 We think you're gonna bunt. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2436 Your team really ought to update your uniforms 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2437 Looks like you got your gear in the clubhouse. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2438 The fans really love the throwback unis. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2439 So Redford's doing a remake of "The Natural"? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2440 Strike = bad. Fire = good. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2441 My DNA test results say I’m 2.8% Neanderthal. Have any kin in Jersey? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2442 You realize that’s a dugout, not a cave... 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2443 I really hate these 'throwback jersey' promotions. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2444 When they said they were sending me back to the minors, I didn't think it would be this far back. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2445 The next one won't be a rock. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2446 The pitcher’s going to ‘fire’ the next one into your ‘wheel’house, if that’s any help. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2447 Still got the playoff beard? What’s it been, 7000 years? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2448 Grog contemplated how the future ain't what it used to be. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2449 I will now hit you in the head with a vintage bat 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2450 Mike, you play for the Tigers...not the Saber-toothed Tigers. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2451 I have great seats at the Opera after the game. 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2452 Just up from the Cave League ? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2453 You can expect a small boulder to be coming your way. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2454 You're the designated hitter? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2455 So let me bring you up to speed. First of all, WAR doesn't mean what you think it means... 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2456 Didn't realize we were up against the Texas Rangers today. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2457 Your wife is hot. Did she invent fire? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2458 That last curve froze you for 40,000 years 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2459 I assume those are your mammoth skins drying in left field? 1.2029 0.04502 138 118 12 8
2460 Was the throwback uniform game today? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2461 Hitting rock with stick seem a bit rudimentary don't you think? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2462 So, I gotta ask ya: Was Fred Flintstone any good at second? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2463 Paleo Diet has a few side effects I see. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2464 You sure that uniform is regulation? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2465 Looks like you found the clubhouse. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2466 The Giants traded you to get the Panda? 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2467 You might keep an eye on my follow through. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2468 Hey, Old Timer's Day is NEXT Sunday!! 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2469 Igor, you've been told before you can only play with a regulation bat. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2470 You signaled a 'curveball', didn't you? 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2471 Looking good, Jason! I see that the paleo diet your manager has you on is working. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2472 Don't worry about the pine tar, it's fossilized. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2473 Shoeless Joe slugged from the other side 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2474 Look, baseball may be timeless - but it's not retro. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2475 How's the wife and troglodytes? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2476 Take it easy on the backswing. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2477 And, now, batting third for the Mets ... 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2478 Yes, this is Fenway Park...and you are with the Yankees. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2479 For some reason, I don't think you are going to bunt. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2480 I love these no-cut contracts." 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2481 Brings new meaning to the term Clubhouse. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2482 Even a caveman knows there should never have been a designated hitter rule. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2483 Is this where I strike? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2484 No offense, but the guys and I found your hunting depictions in the dugout a bit derivative. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2485 So is it true you signed for a hundred shanks of water buffalo? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2486 I'm trying to put a new twist on minor league clubs. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2487 Bro, seriously, I think going commando would be a really bad choice! 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2488 'No, I will hit YOU back to the stone age!' 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2489 #3 on Grog’s bucket list - done! 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2490 Wait, you’re the guy with that long contract, right? 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2491 Nice dress... batter up. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2492 Do you knowt the rues? 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2493 With that bat, I have to assume that you literally want to kill the ball 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2494 Steroid free but what about your DNA? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2495 Everyone batter needs to wear a helmet, no exceptions! 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2496 I see you're the big bat in the lineup. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2497 I think you've taken this superstition thing a bit too far. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2498 You do remember the difference between 'foul' and 'fowl', right? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2499 Really committing to the paleo thing eh, Aaron? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2500 So simple, even a caveman could do it. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2501 In this instance, "The Babe" is meant to be a compliment. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2502 Did you just eat the rosin bag? 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2503 Actually you were scheduled for the first pitch, but they couldn't find a regulation size rock. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2504 Rules Matter! If you win you don't get to eat me. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2505 Was it tough to be a power hitter in the stone ball era? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2506 What? I heard this was our greatest past time. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2507 Fastball, curve, fastball. Just don't hurt me. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2508 Have you tried support hose? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2509 Watch out for his knuckles on the ground ball -just a tip. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2510 Baseball bat,not baseball club 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2511 Are you the designated or the pinch? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2512 Not only that. I refuse to wear necklaces. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2513 Looks like we've blown through stupid and have landed in Neanderthal. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2514 I don't think that mask is going to help you 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2515 You mean the whole Neanderthal team doesn't where batting helmets? Haven't you read the latest reports on brain damage from concussions? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2516 Ha, a slugger from the pre-steroid era! 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2517 Man, that Paleolithic diet really changed you 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2518 Your mom wears combat boots. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2519 Did anyone ever tell you you look like Carl Yastrezemski? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2520 Shoeless Joe Jackson didn’t wear shoes, so the commissioner had to approved it. 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2521 You know you don’t need an actual club to get into the clubhouse... 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2522 Hold on, he's almost done warming up. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2523 What do I say? Clubber up? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2524 Aaron, go back and get your uniform. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2525 It's not all offense. You need some gatherers. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2526 Don't take it amiss if I step bach a little. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2527 Is baseball still boring? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2528 I'm not sure that's what they meant by old school. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2529 But Fred, getting around the bases is not about the big bat but through the courtesy of your two FEET. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2530 I think you've got the wrong ball club. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2531 Think you can hit his knuckleball, you knucklescraper? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2532 We didn't think you'd notice. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2533 What are we hunting today? 1.2029 0.04502 138 118 12 8
2534 Hit the ball, not my head! 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2535 My upcoming Hall of Fame baseball card is a cave painting. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2536 This is one for the ages. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2537 You use saber tooth tiger metrics? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2538 At least we managed to teach him "Swing." 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2539 You said you were a lefty. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2540 Can you tell me where the club house is? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2541 You’re saying Abner Doubleday didn’t invent baseball? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2542 Your uniform is too retro. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2543 Cleats or bare feet are of no consequence; however, chalks chafes a big toe like nothing else." 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2544 Home is cave, not flat pentagon. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2545 Great throwback jersey -- we've always just had pinstripes. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2546 Now that you’re a free agent, Johnny, it looks like you want them to trade you back to Boston. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2547 I'm not the one who said that the designated hitter rule was invented by Neanderthals. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2548 Self-serving or not . . . BUNT! 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2549 I got this. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2550 You were delayed? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2551 You think I'm a catcher, but I'm actually pooping. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2552 Be sure it's the ball you hit. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2553 Well just get used to it. You're not in the bush leagues anymore. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2554 It probably doesn't matter, but you're facing the wrong way 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2555 Who say's it not a league approved bat? 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2556 Look, the hat's not regulation, and that's all I'm gonna say about it. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2557 Me Ugh. You Ump. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2558 No, Jurassic Park is across town. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2559 I can see you were in the minor leagues for a while. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2560 I just came from the club house. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2561 Hi Joe. Where you been? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2562 Did you just come straight from the clubhouse? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2563 Batta! Batta! Can't hit the curve. Batta! Batta! Can't hit the curve. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2564 Just how low will the Red Sox go? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2565 You've got tobacco spit on your tunic. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2566 It’s none of my business but you might want to back off the PEDs. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2567 Have you ever thought of trying an aluminum bat? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2568 Throw one more fastball at my head - go on - try me... I'll have eight balls - two of his - two of yours - two of your father's - and two of your manager's just for fun. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2569 I find your team’s uniform totally un-American. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2570 I’m the designated clubber. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2571 Today's players have clearly evolved. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2572 There are no actual cubs, no bulls in the bullpen. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2573 We had to dig deep for our throwback uniforms. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2574 Are you still on that paleo diet? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2575 You couldn't hit the ground if you fell off your woolly mammoth! 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2576 Any chance I can get that bat for my man cave? 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2577 You were the first to domesticate the Cubs. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2578 Listen, he doesn't mean "hit me". Strike one is a reference to a number based on the Hindu-Arabic numeric system developed in India around 700 AD. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2579 It’s called “throwback millennia.” 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2580 Forget the fancy stuff, just swing at the ball. You don't have to invent the wheel. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2581 Man, I thought they kept me down in the minors way too long. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2582 Well, if it isn't the old bunter-gatherer. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2583 Where's your helmet? 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2584 Try to get a hit. I hear they're thinking of trading you for a Millennial. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2585 I remain concerned with the evolution of the game. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2586 I see the league is really embracing America's past time 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2587 Don't tell me. You got that from the clubhouse. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2588 The Phillie Phanatic's got nothing on you, kid. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2589 Can you pitch? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2590 The growth hormones really aren't too subtle nowadays, are they. 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2591 Did you see they traded LeBron? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2592 That's probably not a regulation bat..." 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2593 Can you hook me up with your steroid doctor? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2594 The Stone Age? Where's that, Bloomington? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2595 Prehistoric Ballers 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2596 Here's the deal: you always swing that above my head, and I'll always call it a ball. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2597 Take your time fielding boys, he's got no wheels! 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2598 Bringing back the dead-ball era? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2599 Uh, Casey couldn't make it. I'm the pinch-hitter. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2600 Huh! I thought you guys only liked bowling. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2601 Seriously. How did you pass your drug test? 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2602 I'm the pinch hitter for the Geicos 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2603 That's one of those Neanderthal Sluggers, right? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2604 I don't care if you invented the game. Your uniform is not acceptable. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2605 I know A-Rod, and you're no A-Rod 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2606 Your wife? Last I saw her she was in the dugout. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2607 I heard your team doesn't embrace advanced metrics. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2608 This guy's really going to lower the ERA. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2609 Yup, I'm the opposing club. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2610 Who you calling a bush leaguer? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2611 Happy Old Timers day. That bat better not be corked. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2612 You do know about the new steroid policy don’t you? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2613 One swing and you’re out 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2614 Too Much? - But it is Neanderthal Night 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2615 When you live forever, your favorite bat lasts a long time. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2616 You look familiar. Did you used to play with a different ball club? 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2617 I'd say he should try to walk you, but you've been doing that for a couple thousand years. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2618 Love the retro uniform! 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2619 Don't call me, "Babe." 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2620 And here I thought the Dodgers were an old club. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2621 I don't care how many rocks have fallen on your head, you really should be wearing a helmet. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2622 So. How is playing for Houston? 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2623 You're kidding. You're batting cleanup? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2624 I can tell you play the game the right way. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2625 Who you callin’ a Leftie, huh? 1.2029 0.04502 138 118 12 8
2626 Are you the call up from the Paleolithic league? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2627 Squint? check. Bat? check. Beard? check. Batter Up! 1.2029 0.03436 138 110 28 0
2628 Been with the club for a long time? 1.2029 0.04383 138 117 14 7
2629 Yes......but can you run? 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2630 You know to try and hit the little white ball and not me, right? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2631 What are you overcompensating for this time? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2632 Could you carry it at least part way to first base? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2633 Just look how far we've come, America's favorite pastime in the era of Make America GRATE Again. 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2634 We just need for you to hit the ball. Don't club it to death. 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2635 I was always good at catching things... you? 1.2029 0.04005 138 114 20 4
2636 Come on it's so easy a caveman can do it. 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2637 Nice uniform ... 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2638 Ump, stick with me, you could save 15% or more on your next ball to the head by switching to GEICO! 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2639 Watch it...hurlers gotta wicked curve rock. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2640 Now I see why your scouting report says "possesses evolving skillset but carries a big stick." 1.2029 0.03731 138 112 24 2
2641 Heeeey batter batt...nevermind. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2642 A meditative pause as Thor contemplates the retirement of his jersey after his next home run. 1.2029 0.04261 138 116 16 6
2643 Anyone seen my batting helmet? 1.2029 0.04135 138 115 18 5
2644 The game's evolved a bit since your day, old timer. 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2645 No more amber, okay? 1.2029 0.03870 138 113 22 3
2646 You must be the designated 'killer'. 1.2029 0.03587 138 111 26 1
2647 The bat doesn’t have tar on it you stupid creature. That catastrophe hasn’t happened yet! 1.2028 0.03915 143 118 21 4
2648 Are you sure you're playing with the right club? 1.2015 0.04339 134 113 15 6
2649 What was a good clubbing average in the big-inning? 1.2014 0.03564 139 112 26 1
2650 I'm telling you Bro... you'll get more traction and power if you wear cleats" 1.2014 0.03978 139 115 20 4
2651 And you speak softly. 1.1985 0.03880 136 112 21 3
2652 Hey Ump, I don’t think that’s a corked bat, but can you check it? 1.1985 0.03880 136 112 21 3
2653 Stand back. I’m the next Babeous Ruthus. 1.1985 0.04018 136 113 19 4
2654 Oh ya, the place has Brontosaurus ribs that are to die for! It’s on 7th and Main. 1.1985 0.04151 136 114 17 5
2655 Are you here for the game or just looking for a meal? 1.1985 0.03737 136 111 23 2
2656 Dude, you're the team mascot of the Cavemen, not the designated hitter. 1.1985 0.03737 136 111 23 2
2657 I don't know about you, but I think this "throwback uniform" thing has gone too far. 1.1985 0.04018 136 113 19 4
2658 Do you only bam bam fastballs? 1.1985 0.04018 136 113 19 4
2659 You've taken throw-back uniforms to a new level. 1.1955 0.03916 133 110 20 3
2660 This time swing at the ball and not my head. 1.1955 0.04197 133 112 16 5
2661 I hope you've got big balls. 1.1955 0.04059 133 111 18 4
2662 I'm a batavism. 1.1955 0.04197 133 112 16 5
2663 Your toenail length is against the Yankees' appearance policy. 1.1955 0.03916 133 110 20 3
2664 me yogi! you fred! 1.1955 0.04197 133 112 16 5
2665 My pitcher's a real fireballer. Oh, do you know what that means? 1.1955 0.04330 133 113 14 6
2666 You were given 'time' How many times!? 1.1955 0.03916 133 110 20 3
2667 Wooden bat, I presume. 1.1955 0.03767 133 109 22 2
2668 So I hit the ball, but don’t run after it? 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
2669 I get four strikes. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2670 Hey Grok, have you ever met Fred Flintstone? 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2671 This expansion team business has gone far enough! 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2672 You guys sure take Old -Timers' Day seriously. 1.1923 0.03638 130 106 23 1
2673 I hear you needed a slugger. 1.1923 0.04100 130 109 17 4
2674 I'll be honest. I am a one-tool player. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2675 Paleo diet 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2676 Yes, people call them the ‘Tools of Ignorance.’ And, yes, I’m sure you DID use it first. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2677 Allow me to explain the intent behind Throwback Night. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2678 I do not understand finger puppets. Can we communicate in Hieroglyphics instead? 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2679 Hey, Alley Oop, the rules say you gotta wear a helmet. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2680 Sure baseball has a long season ... but eons! 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2681 I just came from the clubhouse. What's the score? 1.1923 0.04100 130 109 17 4
2682 Three strikes and I'm out--cold. 1.1923 0.03798 130 107 21 2
2683 Of course my bat's bigger than yours they call this the Big Leagues for a reason! 1.1923 0.03638 130 106 23 1
2684 Is that a regulation bat? 1.1923 0.04100 130 109 17 4
2685 He can't throw a woolly mammoth and you know it. 1.1923 0.04100 130 109 17 4
2686 It's Clubs are for Golf, and Bats are for Baseball! 1.1923 0.04243 130 110 15 5
2687 Sorry, this is the thinking man's game. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2688 And your mother is a Brontosaurus 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2689 Still beating your wife? 1.1923 0.04381 130 111 13 6
2690 I love your throwback jersey. 1.1923 0.03952 130 108 19 3
2691 After the game, do you want to go clubbing? 1.1923 0.03638 130 106 23 1
2692 Where'd the umpire go? That bat doesn't look up to regulation. 1.1920 0.03885 125 103 20 2
2693 If Bloog no hit homerun, Bloog lose scholarship. 1.1917 0.04150 120 100 17 3
2694 They told me to put some good wood on it 1.1908 0.04071 131 110 17 4
2695 Bill Veeck is at it again. 1.1908 0.03924 131 109 19 3
2696 You think season is over? 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2697 I'll be honest, I'm not crazy about these throwback uniforms. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2698 Wait till you see the Green Monster here in Jurassic Park." 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2699 He could not adapt to the modern strike zone 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2700 Cleats? What are those? 1.1890 0.04434 127 109 12 6
2701 Just up from the Neanderthal League? 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2702 No, you may not hit everyone at Home when you hit a Run. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2703 Dry cleaners lose the uniforms again? 1.1890 0.03662 127 104 22 1
2704 ...And up to the plate is Moog McGregor, who was grandfathered in before bat size regulation rules 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
2705 Intentional Walk 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2706 That Paleo Diet is really working. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2707 Attitude is not always everything. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2708 They wanted an exceptional E.R.A., not era. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2709 Did you say DH,or was that Duh? 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2710 Quit grunting, and get in the batter's box. 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2711 Was that a cave ball? 1.1890 0.03989 127 106 18 3
2712 When you say you're up here to hit, you're talking about the ball, right. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2713 You're hugging the plate, sir. 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
2714 Did they emphasize it's the ball your supposed to hit and not me? 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
2715 Did they at least give you a cup to wear under that? 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2716 Word to the wise: If you argue his calls, you best speak softly. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2717 No curve balls—understand? 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2718 I say the retro look has gone to far back but it is comfortable. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2719 Wow! Talk about a 'throwback' uniform. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2720 After the GEICO contract ran out, Frank decided to see what else was so easy. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2721 With all de respect, you were called up from the minors 1,600 years ago. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2722 Sorry, we don't have club sports any more. 1.1890 0.04143 127 107 16 4
2723 Look, the game has changed a lot!! 1.1890 0.03662 127 104 22 1
2724 There was a time when beards weren't allowed, you know. 1.1890 0.03829 127 105 20 2
2725 I'm guessing you've never seen the forkball. 1.1890 0.04291 127 108 14 5
2726 Wait till you see our cleanup hitter, he's a mammoth." 1.1885 0.04250 122 103 15 4
2727 Ringer? 1.1875 0.03802 128 106 20 2
2728 Ya Muthas a Tyrannosaurus 1.1875 0.03961 128 107 18 3
2729 Paleo I can understand. It's those Crossfit types that take it too far. 1.1864 0.04331 118 100 14 4
2730 It's not that kind of clubhouse. 1.1864 0.03983 118 98 18 2
2731 In the major league, underwear is not optional. 1.1860 0.03932 129 108 18 3
2732 No, you stand here and try to hit that little white thing. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
2733 C'mon, Blackmon, you're not fooling anyone. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2734 That's right, this sign means just stand there... 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2735 Bludgeonder Up! 1.1840 0.04598 125 109 9 7
2736 I guess we're still in the early innings. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2737 Next up, pinch-hitting for Fred Flintstone, is Babe Rock. 1.1840 0.03480 125 102 23 0
2738 How's that paleo diet working out for you? 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2739 You'll wanna strike before the Iron Age gets hot 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2740 Nice Wheels. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
2741 You wouldn’t still be playing if this were the National League. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2742 I'm the inspiration for the movie,"The Natural." 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2743 Suddenly, Fred remembered he needed to renew his car insurance. 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2744 The last player from the Steroid Age 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
2745 Remember you get 3 strikes at the ball, AT THE BALL. 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2746 As far as I know, you're the first from the Pleistocene Epoch. 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2747 Pangaea? I hardly knew 'er. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2748 Yeah, but what's your strikeout to walk ratio? 1.1840 0.03660 125 103 21 1
2749 At least you get a cup 1.1840 0.03833 125 104 19 2
2750 Good, now the ball. It's the opposite of the umpire, so try to miss all three. 1.1840 0.04156 125 106 15 4
2751 I got called up from the Neanderthal League. 1.1840 0.03997 125 105 17 3
2752 I can hit you right out of the park! 1.1840 0.04455 125 108 11 6
2753 Yes, you've got quite a Ball Club! 1.1840 0.04308 125 107 13 5
2754