These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2018-07-22T23:00:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2018-07-29T23:02:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2018-07-30T23:01:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | August 6 & 13, 2018 |
Number of captions | 3760 |
Number of responses | 712054 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Of course I am happy to see you! I just need a little time to decompose myself! | 2.0524 | 0.00760 | 9917 | 2591 | 4215 | 3111 |
1 | Hey, weren’t you a member of the placebo group? | 1.9451 | 0.01103 | 5354 | 1897 | 1854 | 1603 |
2 | 'Til death do us part" was the agreement, Susan. | 1.9393 | 0.00837 | 8815 | 3004 | 3342 | 2469 |
3 | Well, so much for resting in peace | 1.9280 | 0.00836 | 8421 | 2803 | 3421 | 2197 |
4 | Of all the skeletons in all the world, I get stuck next to the one from my closet. | 1.9094 | 0.00918 | 7513 | 2749 | 2696 | 2068 |
5 | Biggest Funeral Ever! People all over the world were in the streets! You should have seen the crowds! Biggest crowds in the history of the world! Nobody wanted to miss my funeral! Everyone wanted to see me off. Millions! Biggest sendoff ever! So Big. | 1.9044 | 0.00947 | 7742 | 3092 | 2298 | 2352 |
6 | Yes mother! I was wearing clean underwear. | 1.8843 | 0.00911 | 7612 | 2897 | 2699 | 2016 |
7 | In retrospect, "Sorry" would have been better than " So shoot me". | 1.8263 | 0.00998 | 6516 | 2779 | 2090 | 1647 |
8 | Please! I just got OUT of a relationship! | 1.8258 | 0.00896 | 7510 | 3033 | 2752 | 1725 |
9 | This is going to feel like an eternity. | 1.8185 | 0.01122 | 4699 | 1894 | 1764 | 1041 |
10 | What part of 'until death do us part' don't you understand? | 1.8027 | 0.00824 | 8370 | 3366 | 3289 | 1715 |
11 | GOP Healthcare, how about you? | 1.8019 | 0.01011 | 6281 | 2760 | 2005 | 1516 |
12 | No, seriously. He's president now, so turn over. | 1.7817 | 0.01066 | 5704 | 2606 | 1737 | 1361 |
13 | I misspoke; I meant to say I WOULDN’T like to be dead. | 1.7418 | 0.01478 | 3040 | 1503 | 819 | 718 |
14 | Marge, this is the first time I'm not lying: you look like you've lost weight. | 1.7390 | 0.01001 | 5936 | 2743 | 1999 | 1194 |
15 | Look, I just need a minute to decompose, is that too much to ask? | 1.7365 | 0.00877 | 7146 | 3152 | 2725 | 1269 |
16 | Sorry, but I'm looking for someone with a little more substance. | 1.7093 | 0.01015 | 5524 | 2607 | 1916 | 1001 |
17 | Do the words "rest in peace" mean ANYTHING to you? | 1.6949 | 0.01041 | 5011 | 2357 | 1826 | 828 |
18 | So now you're finally in the mood? | 1.6928 | 0.01301 | 3600 | 1819 | 1068 | 713 |
19 | Well, I guess that just leaves taxes. | 1.6856 | 0.01126 | 4523 | 2232 | 1481 | 810 |
20 | Oh great...an extrovert. | 1.6779 | 0.01185 | 4030 | 1998 | 1332 | 700 |
21 | Forget it. You're dead to me. | 1.6759 | 0.01206 | 3953 | 1984 | 1266 | 703 |
22 | I get it, Mom, I haven’t visited in a while. | 1.6697 | 0.00996 | 5416 | 2644 | 1917 | 855 |
23 | Is it too late to request cremation? | 1.6275 | 0.01214 | 3573 | 1854 | 1196 | 523 |
24 | I don't know. Just a few days ago, I was the President's translator at a summit in Helsinki . . . . | 1.6219 | 0.01365 | 3166 | 1758 | 847 | 561 |
25 | For the hundredth time, lady, I'm not interested in jumping your bones! | 1.6189 | 0.01371 | 2981 | 1619 | 879 | 483 |
26 | The irony is...I was 'thinking Outside the box' | 1.6148 | 0.01225 | 3718 | 2029 | 1092 | 597 |
27 | I was flirting with death and now death is flirting with me. | 1.6065 | 0.01528 | 2325 | 1268 | 704 | 353 |
28 | Of all the graveyards in all the towns in all the world ... | 1.6061 | 0.01175 | 3874 | 2100 | 1200 | 574 |
29 | You can't go anywhere without seeing someone you know. | 1.5856 | 0.01553 | 2032 | 1093 | 688 | 251 |
30 | This is going to make eternity seem like forever! | 1.5835 | 0.01220 | 3544 | 1980 | 1060 | 504 |
31 | Hey Pal, it's over. Put a lid on it. | 1.5610 | 0.01900 | 1410 | 804 | 421 | 185 |
32 | So much for “you can sleep when you’re dead!”. | 1.5535 | 0.01596 | 1917 | 1087 | 599 | 231 |
33 | Remember me? I was in your closet! | 1.5433 | 0.01678 | 1848 | 1095 | 502 | 251 |
34 | I told you I’d see you in hell, and I’m sticking to that. | 1.5402 | 0.01322 | 2773 | 1602 | 844 | 327 |
35 | Donald, is that you? It's me, Hitler. | 1.5349 | 0.01648 | 2092 | 1307 | 451 | 334 |
36 | Thanks, but I'm still in the denial stage. | 1.5325 | 0.01605 | 1814 | 1046 | 570 | 198 |
37 | Your Match profile said, "slim, and haunting", but this is ridiculous. | 1.5174 | 0.01669 | 1778 | 1076 | 484 | 218 |
38 | I meant to say, I see no reason why I *wouldn't* want to be cremated. Double negatives are so damn confusing! | 1.5115 | 0.01666 | 1822 | 1123 | 466 | 233 |
39 | Let me just interject: I WAS your therapist. | 1.5110 | 0.02457 | 861 | 537 | 208 | 116 |
40 | I meant Australia when I made a wish to live peacefully down under. | 1.5103 | 0.01937 | 1313 | 802 | 352 | 159 |
41 | How should I know the wi-fi password? I just got here. | 1.5063 | 0.02184 | 1027 | 630 | 274 | 123 |
42 | No Mom, I'm still not seeing anyone. | 1.4997 | 0.01682 | 1731 | 1073 | 451 | 207 |
43 | The last thing I remember saying was, "May I rot in hell if in fact he colluded." | 1.4991 | 0.01793 | 1607 | 1019 | 374 | 214 |
44 | I was walking along Fifth Avenue, minding my own business, when, suddenly, Trump shows up and shoots me. | 1.4952 | 0.02102 | 1244 | 814 | 244 | 186 |
45 | Gimme some skin! | 1.4938 | 0.02056 | 1205 | 766 | 283 | 156 |
46 | My mother's still trying to fix me up. | 1.4920 | 0.01859 | 1569 | 1026 | 314 | 229 |
47 | You remind me of myself when I first died. | 1.4893 | 0.02028 | 1118 | 688 | 313 | 117 |
48 | Give me a minute. I need to decompose myself. | 1.4886 | 0.01933 | 1269 | 791 | 336 | 142 |
49 | It's me! Bob from Accounts! | 1.4858 | 0.02012 | 1130 | 698 | 315 | 117 |
50 | Thank you; but I've stopped writing music. I'm decomposing now. | 1.4840 | 0.02200 | 969 | 606 | 257 | 106 |
51 | Someone has made a grave mistake. | 1.4775 | 0.02208 | 955 | 602 | 250 | 103 |
52 | Sorry... I’m just not into older women. | 1.4774 | 0.01922 | 1284 | 815 | 325 | 144 |
53 | "Did they cure cancer? How're the Yankees doing? Who's President?" | 1.4748 | 0.02082 | 1032 | 644 | 286 | 102 |
54 | I'm not that kind of corpse. | 1.4738 | 0.01893 | 1222 | 758 | 349 | 115 |
55 | Just so you know. What happens here, stays here. | 1.4696 | 0.02018 | 1084 | 679 | 301 | 104 |
56 | I don't date older women! | 1.4665 | 0.02041 | 1106 | 707 | 282 | 117 |
57 | This is exactly why I didn't want an open casket. | 1.4658 | 0.03176 | 468 | 302 | 114 | 52 |
58 | I see your coffin was half off too. | 1.4646 | 0.02087 | 1046 | 668 | 270 | 108 |
59 | No, I'm NOT interested in 'jumping your bones.' | 1.4622 | 0.02158 | 1019 | 663 | 241 | 115 |
60 | Fine, Mom, I should have eaten my veggies. You happy now? | 1.4603 | 0.02059 | 1008 | 634 | 284 | 90 |
61 | This is just temporary. I have the best attorneys. | 1.4601 | 0.02185 | 928 | 591 | 247 | 90 |
62 | I misspoke. I mean't to say I WOULDN'T want to die!! | 1.4593 | 0.02194 | 982 | 641 | 231 | 110 |
63 | What do you mean,you see dead people. | 1.4501 | 0.02408 | 822 | 546 | 182 | 94 |
64 | OMG, it's the Welcome Coffin. | 1.4480 | 0.02720 | 625 | 412 | 146 | 67 |
65 | Like an extra 500 buck for a lid would have killed them! | 1.4478 | 0.02243 | 871 | 564 | 224 | 83 |
66 | Yes, Eleanor, I turned on the dishwasher before I had my heart attack. | 1.4464 | 0.02297 | 849 | 555 | 209 | 85 |
67 | Mothers are forever, son. | 1.4444 | 0.02363 | 810 | 533 | 194 | 83 |
68 | I knew I was in trouble when I heard the surgeon say “oops” | 1.4431 | 0.02464 | 747 | 493 | 177 | 77 |
69 | Does the letters R I P mean anything to you?" | 1.4398 | 0.02381 | 798 | 529 | 187 | 82 |
70 | Lady, I'd buy you a drink, but clearly you can't hold your liquor. | 1.4391 | 0.02502 | 722 | 479 | 169 | 74 |
71 | Jeez Ma- don’t look so happy to see me?! | 1.4374 | 0.02398 | 759 | 499 | 188 | 72 |
72 | This is Chicago. Of course I voted. | 1.4369 | 0.02491 | 753 | 507 | 163 | 83 |
73 | I'm telling you I'm not dead. It's fake news | 1.4348 | 0.02561 | 736 | 503 | 146 | 87 |
74 | You made it! I told you the family plot was a good idea - we are going to have SUCH a good time! I'll show you around, introduce you to all the neighbors - well, not all the neighbors. There is this one woman, Sheila, don't get me started, she ... | 1.4345 | 0.02477 | 725 | 482 | 171 | 72 |
75 | Just my luck...I get buried next to a telemarketer. | 1.4317 | 0.02554 | 695 | 467 | 156 | 72 |
76 | Who knew health care could be so complicated?" | 1.4275 | 0.02576 | 683 | 462 | 150 | 71 |
77 | Perfect. I finally make it into a New Yorker cartoon and it's one that makes no sense. | 1.4269 | 0.02738 | 602 | 407 | 133 | 62 |
78 | First they get rid of straws... and now the lids too! | 1.4256 | 0.02623 | 672 | 459 | 140 | 73 |
79 | Welcome to the graveyard shift! We are the skeleton crew. | 1.4255 | 0.02698 | 644 | 442 | 130 | 72 |
80 | I meant to say I wouldn't rather be buried alive. | 1.4251 | 0.02710 | 668 | 466 | 120 | 82 |
81 | To be perfectly honest, the years have not been good to you | 1.4227 | 0.02561 | 653 | 437 | 156 | 60 |
82 | This is why coffins have lids. | 1.4224 | 0.02606 | 644 | 434 | 148 | 62 |
83 | Please, I need time to decompose myself. | 1.4198 | 0.02617 | 617 | 413 | 149 | 55 |
84 | The vows said until death do us part. | 1.4195 | 0.02557 | 627 | 416 | 159 | 52 |
85 | Bonejour. | 1.4179 | 0.02771 | 603 | 417 | 120 | 66 |
86 | I asked for VIP, not RIP | 1.4161 | 0.02663 | 608 | 412 | 139 | 57 |
87 | Knock it off. I'm trying to rest in peace over here. | 1.4152 | 0.03151 | 448 | 307 | 96 | 45 |
88 | Yes yes, a 'grave situation', I get it | 1.4133 | 0.02673 | 588 | 397 | 139 | 52 |
89 | What part of "t'ill death do us part" do you not understand!? | 1.4104 | 0.02588 | 575 | 380 | 154 | 41 |
90 | and then they said, "Relax, you won't feel a thing"... and, of course, I didn't. | 1.4103 | 0.02851 | 524 | 357 | 119 | 48 |
91 | Oh God, it's Fran. Maybe if I play dead, she won't notice me. | 1.4098 | 0.02838 | 571 | 399 | 110 | 62 |
92 | No rest for the wicked, huh? | 1.4088 | 0.02785 | 548 | 374 | 124 | 50 |
93 | Thanks, but I feel like it’s too soon to start dating | 1.4082 | 0.02643 | 561 | 374 | 145 | 42 |
94 | Good news. Your nose falls off faster than the smell goes away. | 1.4082 | 0.02796 | 561 | 387 | 119 | 55 |
95 | Put a lid on it,Pal | 1.4066 | 0.02815 | 546 | 376 | 118 | 52 |
96 | Sure its a tight space, but the rent is to die for | 1.4056 | 0.02781 | 535 | 364 | 125 | 46 |
97 | So she says to me [tell the truth. Does this dress make me look fat?] So I did. | 1.4041 | 0.02810 | 537 | 369 | 119 | 49 |
98 | Dude. Get a life. | 1.4040 | 0.03222 | 401 | 274 | 92 | 35 |
99 | Seriously? You'd like to add me to your professional network on LinkedIn? | 1.4023 | 0.02881 | 512 | 353 | 112 | 47 |
100 | You Hare Krishnas never give up, do you? | 1.4012 | 0.02980 | 516 | 365 | 95 | 56 |
101 | How many times do I have to tell you-- IT'S OVER!! | 1.4000 | 0.02741 | 520 | 351 | 130 | 39 |
102 | Which part of ‘ ‘til death do us part’ didn’t you understand? | 1.3992 | 0.02644 | 516 | 341 | 144 | 31 |
103 | Bob? It's Kevin! From HR! | 1.3988 | 0.02843 | 504 | 345 | 117 | 42 |
104 | Is it too late for cremation? | 1.3976 | 0.02853 | 508 | 350 | 114 | 44 |
105 | No, I don't want to be friends. You should have figured that out when I killed you. | 1.3972 | 0.03012 | 496 | 351 | 93 | 52 |
106 | Put a lid on it, I'm trying to sleep | 1.3968 | 0.02855 | 504 | 347 | 114 | 43 |
107 | No no no ... it’s not what it looks like. Fake Death. Trust me, it’s all Fake Death! | 1.3965 | 0.02973 | 459 | 315 | 106 | 38 |
108 | The deal was until death do us part!! | 1.3956 | 0.02749 | 498 | 335 | 129 | 34 |
109 | I'm sure you're nice, but I just got out of a long-term relationship. | 1.3952 | 0.02697 | 496 | 330 | 136 | 30 |
110 | Why am I always stuck next to the guy who wants to talk? | 1.3947 | 0.02866 | 494 | 340 | 113 | 41 |
111 | Now that you've got time, I'd like to tell you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. | 1.3946 | 0.03037 | 484 | 343 | 91 | 50 |
112 | I think it's a little late to stop and smell the roses. | 1.3933 | 0.02947 | 478 | 332 | 104 | 42 |
113 | It's the last rent controlled space in the city! | 1.3925 | 0.02882 | 479 | 329 | 112 | 38 |
114 | Yes dear, I'm proud that you finally achieved your ideal weight. | 1.3919 | 0.03041 | 467 | 329 | 93 | 45 |
115 | Hi neighbor! You're obviously new here. Let me explain the ground rules. Get it, 'ground rules'?! We're in the ground! Oh, man, we're gonna have so much fun together... | 1.3916 | 0.02914 | 475 | 328 | 108 | 39 |
116 | All I said was not over my dead body! | 1.3910 | 0.03006 | 468 | 328 | 97 | 43 |
117 | Oh great, I'm stuck next to a talker. | 1.3907 | 0.02852 | 471 | 321 | 116 | 34 |
118 | The nagging was supposed to end at death! | 1.3888 | 0.02965 | 463 | 322 | 102 | 39 |
119 | Alright already! You were really sick! | 1.3885 | 0.03059 | 453 | 319 | 92 | 42 |
120 | Pretty good, considering. And how are you? | 1.3883 | 0.02893 | 461 | 316 | 111 | 34 |
121 | Mom, seriously? I don't know who dressed me. | 1.3878 | 0.02934 | 459 | 317 | 106 | 36 |
122 | "My HMO said life is a pre-existing condition. | 1.3874 | 0.03152 | 444 | 317 | 82 | 45 |
123 | Which part of "until death do us part" did you not understand? | 1.3863 | 0.02808 | 453 | 305 | 121 | 27 |
124 | What have I got to lose. Sure I'll hear about Amway. | 1.3850 | 0.03110 | 439 | 311 | 87 | 41 |
125 | ‘Til death do us part.’ What part of that do you not understand?! | 1.3848 | 0.02884 | 447 | 305 | 112 | 30 |
126 | But death did us part! That was the deal! | 1.3848 | 0.03003 | 447 | 312 | 98 | 37 |
127 | Okay, fine! There was some collusion. | 1.3839 | 0.03044 | 435 | 304 | 95 | 36 |
128 | ...and then they buried me in the suit I wouldn't get caught dead in! | 1.3837 | 0.03088 | 443 | 314 | 88 | 41 |
129 | Mr. President, Jim Acosta, CNN. | 1.3837 | 0.03121 | 443 | 316 | 84 | 43 |
130 | I don't mean to sound shallow, but I prefer girls with a little more meat on their bones. | 1.3832 | 0.03065 | 441 | 311 | 91 | 39 |
131 | Of all the cemeteries in all the towns in all the world... | 1.3832 | 0.03081 | 441 | 312 | 89 | 40 |
132 | Well hello there, handsome. I always did like a man with a little meat on his bones. | 1.3832 | 0.02874 | 441 | 300 | 113 | 28 |
133 | Roger was upset to learn that "til death do us part" was more of a sentiment than a rule. | 1.3832 | 0.02914 | 428 | 291 | 110 | 27 |
134 | Man, am I glad to see you! It’s been so dead around here. | 1.3827 | 0.03006 | 439 | 306 | 98 | 35 |
135 | BACK OFF !! I have not yet begun to decompose | 1.3825 | 0.03133 | 434 | 309 | 84 | 41 |
136 | Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. | 1.3817 | 0.03204 | 427 | 307 | 77 | 43 |
137 | I still don’t ‘have a moment to talk about our lord and savior.’ | 1.3816 | 0.03127 | 435 | 310 | 84 | 41 |
138 | You can sleep when you're dead, they said... | 1.3813 | 0.03097 | 417 | 292 | 91 | 34 |
139 | You're dead. Get over it. Learn to live with it. | 1.3791 | 0.03105 | 422 | 298 | 88 | 36 |
140 | ’Till death do us part’, was eternity enough. | 1.3791 | 0.03195 | 422 | 303 | 78 | 41 |
141 | Fake death. | 1.3788 | 0.03035 | 425 | 297 | 95 | 33 |
142 | People are saying that was the largest turnout for a funeral ever. | 1.3780 | 0.03150 | 410 | 290 | 85 | 35 |
143 | Yes, Mr. Lincoln, we figured you'd be rolling over in your grave. I have no idea, either. | 1.3775 | 0.03161 | 408 | 289 | 84 | 35 |
144 | Wait, you're telling me Croatia got to the final? | 1.3763 | 0.03234 | 388 | 275 | 80 | 33 |
145 | Thanks, but I would have preferred to keep my Medicare, Senator Ryan, | 1.3760 | 0.03237 | 391 | 278 | 79 | 34 |
146 | When I joined the underground, I didn’t know I’d get in so deep. | 1.3756 | 0.03071 | 410 | 287 | 92 | 31 |
147 | Just my luck,stuck with a mime. | 1.3756 | 0.03071 | 410 | 287 | 92 | 31 |
148 | Look lady, you're not my type. Yet. | 1.3756 | 0.03071 | 410 | 287 | 92 | 31 |
149 | Look, all I'm saying is that it was listed as a cozy, ground level studio, and the price seemed reasonable. | 1.3744 | 0.03071 | 406 | 284 | 92 | 30 |
150 | I thought "til death do us part" was an exit option. | 1.3741 | 0.03097 | 401 | 281 | 90 | 30 |
151 | You'll find that being down here really starts to eat away at you slowly | 1.3740 | 0.03243 | 393 | 281 | 77 | 35 |
152 | Do you mind if I take a moment of your time to tell you about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? | 1.3719 | 0.03347 | 398 | 292 | 64 | 42 |
153 | Can you knock it off with the rattling, already? I'm trying to rest in peace over here! | 1.3719 | 0.02901 | 398 | 270 | 108 | 20 |
154 | No dear, I do not remember if I left food for the cat. | 1.3719 | 0.02966 | 398 | 273 | 102 | 23 |
155 | Seriously Janet, the vows said, 'til death do us part,' take the hint already. | 1.3719 | 0.02923 | 398 | 271 | 106 | 21 |
156 | Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ? | 1.3718 | 0.03259 | 390 | 280 | 75 | 35 |
157 | Hey, we've got a live one! | 1.3715 | 0.03139 | 393 | 277 | 86 | 30 |
158 | I'm not dead yet -- this is the only way I can avoid the political news every day for the next two years. | 1.3712 | 0.03242 | 396 | 285 | 75 | 36 |
159 | Hey Bob, it may not seem so great at first but not having to read Trump's daily tweets is a blessing | 1.3712 | 0.03281 | 396 | 287 | 71 | 38 |
160 | Yeah, I know it’s been a long time and you’ve been dying to see me! | 1.3706 | 0.03070 | 394 | 275 | 92 | 27 |
161 | For the last time - YES, that coffin makes you look thin. | 1.3701 | 0.03184 | 381 | 269 | 83 | 29 |
162 | You just couldn’t stay locked in the closet with my other skeletons, could you? | 1.3699 | 0.03204 | 392 | 280 | 79 | 33 |
163 | We're clothing optional here. | 1.3695 | 0.03128 | 387 | 272 | 87 | 28 |
164 | Sorry. I’m just not good with faces. | 1.3690 | 0.03298 | 355 | 251 | 77 | 27 |
165 | For the last time, no, I do not want to play 'I spy.' The answer's dirt. It's always dirt! | 1.3688 | 0.03224 | 385 | 275 | 78 | 32 |
166 | It's just that I'm looking for somebody closer to my own age." | 1.3688 | 0.03095 | 385 | 269 | 90 | 26 |
167 | You gotta be kidding me -- six feet under and only two feet apart? | 1.3688 | 0.03029 | 385 | 266 | 96 | 23 |
168 | I specifically booked a single so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. | 1.3687 | 0.03140 | 377 | 264 | 87 | 26 |
169 | "HEY! Quiet down. I'm trying to RIP over here! | 1.3675 | 0.03071 | 381 | 265 | 92 | 24 |
170 | Small underworld! | 1.3673 | 0.03207 | 373 | 264 | 81 | 28 |
171 | Hey man, give me some skin | 1.3668 | 0.03321 | 379 | 275 | 69 | 35 |
172 | I was counting on that 'til death do us part' clause. | 1.3653 | 0.03125 | 375 | 263 | 87 | 25 |
173 | Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon? | 1.3653 | 0.03324 | 375 | 272 | 69 | 34 |
174 | You don't recognize me? We were friends on Facebook! | 1.3653 | 0.03170 | 375 | 265 | 83 | 27 |
175 | Howard thought for sure death would relieve him of the necessity to engage in small talk. | 1.3639 | 0.03399 | 360 | 262 | 65 | 33 |
176 | Good coffins make good neighbors. | 1.3639 | 0.03348 | 371 | 270 | 67 | 34 |
177 | It was the only property under $5,000 a month on the upper east side. | 1.3634 | 0.03313 | 366 | 264 | 71 | 31 |
178 | Does ‘til death do us part’ mean nothing to you? | 1.3634 | 0.03175 | 366 | 258 | 83 | 25 |
179 | You're gonna love it here. I bet you never leave. | 1.3631 | 0.03180 | 369 | 261 | 82 | 26 |
180 | I dared them to get all the dirt on me that they could. | 1.3631 | 0.03157 | 369 | 260 | 84 | 25 |
181 | Yorick. And you are...? | 1.3628 | 0.03506 | 328 | 237 | 63 | 28 |
182 | I swear to god you do one more knock knock joke... | 1.3619 | 0.03268 | 362 | 259 | 75 | 28 |
183 | I worked the graveyard shift so this was a smooth transition. You on the other hand, look like you were worked to the bone. | 1.3619 | 0.03473 | 362 | 268 | 57 | 37 |
184 | Would you let me rest in peace? | 1.3611 | 0.03256 | 360 | 257 | 76 | 27 |
185 | I tried to tell them it was a one word error. I said I 'wouldn't' be caught dead with another woman. | 1.3611 | 0.03396 | 360 | 263 | 64 | 33 |
186 | Can't you give it an eternal rest? | 1.3611 | 0.03233 | 360 | 256 | 78 | 26 |
187 | Does this coffin make me look fat? | 1.3611 | 0.03256 | 360 | 257 | 76 | 27 |
188 | Cremation! I told everybody...cremation! | 1.3609 | 0.03353 | 363 | 264 | 67 | 32 |
189 | No way. I distinctly said, "til death us do part!" | 1.3609 | 0.03118 | 363 | 254 | 87 | 22 |
190 | I don't want to split hairs here, hunny, but it was 'til death* do us part. | 1.3609 | 0.03068 | 363 | 252 | 91 | 20 |
191 | Stop waving, I'm under cover. | 1.3606 | 0.03488 | 330 | 239 | 63 | 28 |
192 | I promised “till death do us part,” not eternity! | 1.3596 | 0.03232 | 356 | 253 | 78 | 25 |
193 | Happy wife, happy afterlife. | 1.3593 | 0.03355 | 359 | 261 | 67 | 31 |
194 | That’s not what ‘As above , so below’ means. | 1.3593 | 0.03332 | 359 | 260 | 69 | 30 |
195 | I explicitly said, “Don’t plant me next to my mother.” | 1.3593 | 0.03188 | 359 | 254 | 81 | 24 |
196 | She asked why do husbands die before their wives?... and I told her because WE CAN. | 1.3586 | 0.03466 | 343 | 251 | 61 | 31 |
197 | I was on Fifth Avenue when the President came up to prove a point... | 1.3586 | 0.03539 | 343 | 254 | 55 | 34 |
198 | Oh great. Morty from high school. | 1.3580 | 0.03154 | 352 | 247 | 84 | 21 |
199 | Back off, Agnes! My commitment ended at 'till death do us part.' | 1.3563 | 0.03097 | 348 | 242 | 88 | 18 |
200 | No, I don't remember you, Okay? | 1.3557 | 0.03362 | 343 | 248 | 68 | 27 |
201 | Wait! Let me decompose myself first. | 1.3557 | 0.03285 | 343 | 245 | 74 | 24 |
202 | Fake Burial! | 1.3557 | 0.03559 | 343 | 256 | 52 | 35 |
203 | What part of 'Rest in Peace' do you not understand? | 1.3557 | 0.03259 | 343 | 244 | 76 | 23 |
204 | This really is the 'date from hell ' | 1.3557 | 0.03233 | 343 | 243 | 78 | 22 |
205 | Should've gone with the cremation. | 1.3557 | 0.03153 | 343 | 240 | 84 | 19 |
206 | Aw,Mom,how many times have I told you not to wait up for me? | 1.3550 | 0.03448 | 338 | 247 | 62 | 29 |
207 | TWIGS ?? After all this you offer me TWIGS ?? | 1.3550 | 0.03473 | 338 | 248 | 60 | 30 |
208 | My arms don't even fit. God my family is cheap. | 1.3548 | 0.03426 | 341 | 249 | 63 | 29 |
209 | I think you should know up front that I’m not looking for anything eternal. | 1.3545 | 0.03318 | 330 | 235 | 73 | 22 |
210 | Afterlife insurance? Why? | 1.3545 | 0.03205 | 330 | 231 | 81 | 18 |
211 | This is killing me, I can't place the face. | 1.3542 | 0.03383 | 336 | 243 | 67 | 26 |
212 | Nice to see you, honey. Didn't I tell you that shiksa was gonna kill you sooner or later? | 1.3542 | 0.03461 | 336 | 246 | 61 | 29 |
213 | Yes, yes, I AM Ed Sullivan! | 1.3542 | 0.03357 | 336 | 242 | 69 | 25 |
214 | Five words. First word…wave? | 1.3537 | 0.03515 | 311 | 225 | 62 | 24 |
215 | Mine was the largest audience to witness a burial, period. Both in person and around the globe. | 1.3528 | 0.03509 | 326 | 239 | 59 | 28 |
216 | Don’t ask me; I just got here. | 1.3522 | 0.03198 | 335 | 236 | 80 | 19 |
217 | Scuse me... I'm trying to be dead over here. | 1.3519 | 0.03356 | 324 | 232 | 70 | 22 |
218 | Elon's supposed to be sending in a rescue team." | 1.3519 | 0.03413 | 324 | 234 | 66 | 24 |
219 | Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon? | 1.3519 | 0.03496 | 324 | 237 | 60 | 27 |
220 | So, even in death I'm assigned a seat next to a non-stop talker. | 1.3514 | 0.03293 | 333 | 238 | 73 | 22 |
221 | Believe me; we're better off down here. | 1.3514 | 0.03454 | 333 | 244 | 61 | 28 |
222 | Hey! Caught you dead with me after all! | 1.3514 | 0.03428 | 333 | 243 | 63 | 27 |
223 | I waited all my life for a naked lady to flirt with me | 1.3514 | 0.03320 | 333 | 239 | 71 | 23 |
224 | It helps if you think outside the box. | 1.3505 | 0.03441 | 331 | 242 | 62 | 27 |
225 | 100 billion dead humans and I get Forrest Gump. | 1.3505 | 0.03360 | 331 | 239 | 68 | 24 |
226 | And In This Moment, Michael Cohen Regrets, “Taking It To His Grave” | 1.3495 | 0.03346 | 329 | 237 | 69 | 23 |
227 | Relax! You'll be amazed at how much roomier it gets over time. | 1.3495 | 0.03455 | 329 | 241 | 61 | 27 |
228 | Still, I prefer a woman with a little meat on her. | 1.3488 | 0.03352 | 324 | 233 | 69 | 22 |
229 | The name is Bones. James Bones. | 1.3488 | 0.03519 | 324 | 239 | 57 | 28 |
230 | I should have known better than to go with the family plot! | 1.3488 | 0.03352 | 324 | 233 | 69 | 22 |
231 | Maybe you didn't notice the RestInPeace sign overhead -- it's Etched In Stone! | 1.3488 | 0.03323 | 324 | 232 | 71 | 21 |
232 | No! The casket does not make you look fat. | 1.3480 | 0.03502 | 319 | 234 | 59 | 26 |
233 | Would you knock off the racket! I'm trying to rest in peace! | 1.3480 | 0.03358 | 319 | 229 | 69 | 21 |
234 | I thought death did us part | 1.3478 | 0.03336 | 322 | 231 | 70 | 21 |
235 | Quit that rattling. I'm trying to rest in peace here! | 1.3478 | 0.03336 | 322 | 231 | 70 | 21 |
236 | Till death do us part, Mildred...that was the deal!" | 1.3478 | 0.03450 | 322 | 235 | 62 | 25 |
237 | Nice to meet you! It's been ages since I've seen anybody in the flesh. | 1.3477 | 0.03198 | 325 | 229 | 79 | 17 |
238 | Say what you want, every science class totally loved you. | 1.3471 | 0.03363 | 314 | 225 | 69 | 20 |
239 | Helen! Let me at least rot for a hundred years, then we can talk | 1.3471 | 0.03363 | 314 | 225 | 69 | 20 |
240 | In an ironic mix-up, Billy Graham is buried next to Joan Rivers. | 1.3463 | 0.03609 | 309 | 229 | 53 | 27 |
241 | No, I’m too old for you. | 1.3459 | 0.03535 | 318 | 235 | 56 | 27 |
242 | You call this witness protection? | 1.3452 | 0.03328 | 310 | 221 | 71 | 18 |
243 | Of course I remembered our anniversary. But what were you expecting me to do about it?” | 1.3452 | 0.03232 | 310 | 218 | 77 | 15 |
244 | Not you again! | 1.3449 | 0.03434 | 316 | 230 | 63 | 23 |
245 | This is the last time I’ll use this underground dating service! | 1.3449 | 0.03375 | 316 | 228 | 67 | 21 |
246 | Close. But, first you shake it all about, then you do hokey pokey. | 1.3431 | 0.03479 | 306 | 223 | 61 | 22 |
247 | Honestly, I don't find you that attractive anymore. | 1.3431 | 0.03417 | 306 | 221 | 65 | 20 |
248 | Apparently you can't escape death, taxes...or the chatty seatmate from the plane. | 1.3431 | 0.03540 | 306 | 225 | 57 | 24 |
249 | No, I don’t have a phone charger. | 1.3431 | 0.03659 | 306 | 229 | 49 | 28 |
250 | Wait, what?! Who got elected president? | 1.3431 | 0.03570 | 306 | 226 | 55 | 25 |
251 | He did say he was going to put me in the Cabinet. | 1.3421 | 0.03399 | 304 | 219 | 66 | 19 |
252 | Welcome 45! Nixon, 37, here! At least they waited for me to die!!!! | 1.3421 | 0.03586 | 304 | 225 | 54 | 25 |
253 | Exactly HOW do I look gay? | 1.3421 | 0.03524 | 304 | 223 | 58 | 23 |
254 | The doctor will see you now. | 1.3421 | 0.03524 | 304 | 223 | 58 | 23 |
255 | Eternal rest, my ass! | 1.3421 | 0.03616 | 304 | 226 | 52 | 26 |
256 | Sorry, I don't recognize you, I'm not good with skulls. | 1.3421 | 0.03586 | 304 | 225 | 54 | 25 |
257 | So I'm a little late. What's the big deal? | 1.3420 | 0.03439 | 307 | 223 | 63 | 21 |
258 | Nothing personal, but I prefer someone with a little meat on their bones. | 1.3412 | 0.03393 | 296 | 212 | 67 | 17 |
259 | Dad, you almost scared me to death. | 1.3411 | 0.03436 | 299 | 216 | 64 | 19 |
260 | Dear, yes it’s nice to see you. I was just hoping for a few more years with my second wife. | 1.3411 | 0.03348 | 302 | 216 | 69 | 17 |
261 | ...so I said we’ll never find Hoffa and he says wanna bet? | 1.3401 | 0.03441 | 294 | 212 | 64 | 18 |
262 | Yes, you’ve told me over and over. You meant to say “wouldn’t” not “would.” | 1.3401 | 0.03669 | 294 | 219 | 50 | 25 |
263 | Remember me? You conducted the drug trial. | 1.3401 | 0.03483 | 297 | 216 | 61 | 20 |
264 | I thought they said I would finally rest in peace. | 1.3401 | 0.03450 | 297 | 215 | 63 | 19 |
265 | I knew I should've opted for cremation. | 1.3399 | 0.03591 | 303 | 225 | 53 | 25 |
266 | So what the heck happened to "til death do us part??!!" | 1.3390 | 0.03329 | 295 | 210 | 70 | 15 |
267 | The student loan collectors will still find you. | 1.3390 | 0.03563 | 295 | 217 | 56 | 22 |
268 | No, Mr Trump, you can't dig yourself out of this one! | 1.3378 | 0.03710 | 296 | 223 | 46 | 27 |
269 | Your kidding? I wore my best suit for this? | 1.3378 | 0.03388 | 296 | 213 | 66 | 17 |
270 | It isn't you. I'm just not looking for a long term relationship. | 1.3378 | 0.03421 | 296 | 214 | 64 | 18 |
271 | I didn’t come here to make friends. | 1.3369 | 0.03632 | 279 | 205 | 54 | 20 |
272 | I never used to go for older women,but what's a century or two if we really love each other? | 1.3368 | 0.03425 | 291 | 210 | 64 | 17 |
273 | I'm not saying it couldn't work. I'm just not ready for a long term commitment | 1.3368 | 0.03561 | 291 | 214 | 56 | 21 |
274 | I get it, Bernie...your humerus. | 1.3368 | 0.03527 | 291 | 213 | 58 | 20 |
275 | So now Amazon offers below ground delivery? | 1.3368 | 0.03627 | 291 | 216 | 52 | 23 |
276 | Remember me? Bob, from accounting! | 1.3368 | 0.03561 | 291 | 214 | 56 | 21 |
277 | Think outside the box?" That's your advice | 1.3367 | 0.03568 | 294 | 217 | 55 | 22 |
278 | What part of --'You're dead to me'--don't you understand? | 1.3367 | 0.03568 | 294 | 217 | 55 | 22 |
279 | The Family Plot Thickens | 1.3367 | 0.03535 | 294 | 216 | 57 | 21 |
280 | Yes, Mom; I AM wearing this tie with this suit! | 1.3357 | 0.03524 | 283 | 206 | 59 | 18 |
281 | Skeleton: Godot? | 1.3357 | 0.03736 | 286 | 215 | 46 | 25 |
282 | Damn. Now Trump gets a third judge pick. | 1.3346 | 0.03895 | 263 | 198 | 42 | 23 |
283 | Sometimes I wish I never killed you. | 1.3345 | 0.03816 | 281 | 213 | 42 | 26 |
284 | For God's sake Phil you don't have to be neighborly anymore,we're dead. | 1.3345 | 0.03720 | 284 | 213 | 47 | 24 |
285 | Laid! I said I wanted to get laid! | 1.3333 | 0.03513 | 288 | 211 | 58 | 19 |
286 | Which part of 'til death do us part' did you not understand, Janice? | 1.3333 | 0.03443 | 288 | 209 | 62 | 17 |
287 | Honey, don't you recognize me without my face on? | 1.3322 | 0.03528 | 286 | 210 | 57 | 19 |
288 | I said till death do us part. | 1.3322 | 0.03458 | 286 | 208 | 61 | 17 |
289 | Yoo-hoo, it's me, Yorick! | 1.3310 | 0.03681 | 284 | 213 | 48 | 23 |
290 | Now I get friendly neighbors! | 1.3310 | 0.03400 | 284 | 205 | 64 | 15 |
291 | Leave me alone! You're dead to me. | 1.3310 | 0.03533 | 281 | 206 | 57 | 18 |
292 | Give me the fire and brimstone. I'll take anything over polite small talk. | 1.3310 | 0.03497 | 281 | 205 | 59 | 17 |
293 | This is why I wanted to be cremated... | 1.3310 | 0.03497 | 281 | 205 | 59 | 17 |
294 | Just my luck, buried next to a nudist. | 1.3310 | 0.03674 | 281 | 210 | 49 | 22 |
295 | Lord, what part of ‘til death do us part’ did you not understand? | 1.3310 | 0.03349 | 281 | 201 | 67 | 13 |
296 | Cheapskates left the lid off my coffin, too! | 1.3310 | 0.03461 | 281 | 204 | 61 | 16 |
297 | Hey, cutie! I love a man with some meat on his bones. | 1.3310 | 0.03604 | 281 | 208 | 53 | 20 |
298 | How would I know? Maybe it was the kale after all. | 1.3310 | 0.03533 | 281 | 206 | 57 | 18 |
299 | You are right as always Edna, when I asked to be buried by the woman I truly loved I should have been more specific. | 1.3310 | 0.03461 | 281 | 204 | 61 | 16 |
300 | Another fatal error in dating app algorithms | 1.3309 | 0.03559 | 278 | 204 | 56 | 18 |
301 | Awesome!!!! My new body from Amazon has arrived!!! | 1.3309 | 0.03840 | 278 | 212 | 40 | 26 |
302 | Of course I see the irony of your having been an orthopedic surgeon... | 1.3309 | 0.03667 | 278 | 207 | 50 | 21 |
303 | What part of 'in peace' don't you understand? | 1.3309 | 0.03549 | 275 | 201 | 57 | 17 |
304 | What’s a guy gotta do to get a little RIP over here? | 1.3309 | 0.03396 | 275 | 197 | 65 | 13 |
305 | I only agreed to 'til death do us part, Sylvia! | 1.3297 | 0.03585 | 279 | 206 | 54 | 19 |
306 | Sure. But not half as terrifying as what’s happening up there. | 1.3297 | 0.03612 | 276 | 204 | 53 | 19 |
307 | You smell like death. Haha that’s just a joke we like to tell down here. I’m Paul by the way. | 1.3297 | 0.03824 | 276 | 210 | 41 | 25 |
308 | A teacher's worse nightmare. Eternity next to a student that always wants to answer the question | 1.3297 | 0.03712 | 273 | 204 | 48 | 21 |
309 | Don't you read our tombstones? RIP! | 1.3271 | 0.03584 | 266 | 195 | 55 | 16 |
310 | Can't you see it says RIP? | 1.3271 | 0.03584 | 266 | 195 | 55 | 16 |
311 | What can I say? Too many preservatives. | 1.3265 | 0.03563 | 245 | 176 | 58 | 11 |
312 | Of course, I'm still attracted to you, but now it's more spiritual than physical." | 1.3260 | 0.03595 | 273 | 202 | 53 | 18 |
313 | I’d die before I’d date you” was a figure of speech, not a promise | 1.3260 | 0.03442 | 273 | 198 | 61 | 14 |
314 | Dammit, the deal was, 'Till death do we part!' | 1.3260 | 0.03481 | 273 | 199 | 59 | 15 |
315 | I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't recognize you. | 1.3260 | 0.03520 | 273 | 200 | 57 | 16 |
316 | Oh Great ! The always have to say hello neighbor. | 1.3259 | 0.03546 | 270 | 198 | 56 | 16 |
317 | Sorry, love, "till death do we part" doesn't include eternity. | 1.3247 | 0.03377 | 271 | 195 | 64 | 12 |
318 | "All I ask is a few minutes alone, a little peace and relaxation without running into somebody I know. | 1.3247 | 0.03496 | 271 | 198 | 58 | 15 |
319 | Whaaat? It's supposed to be til death do us part! | 1.3247 | 0.03573 | 271 | 200 | 54 | 17 |
320 | You look just like your profile picture. | 1.3247 | 0.03496 | 271 | 198 | 58 | 15 |
321 | Lookit, I'm sorry. I don't recognize you. | 1.3247 | 0.03611 | 271 | 201 | 52 | 18 |
322 | I should have been cremated... | 1.3247 | 0.03760 | 271 | 205 | 44 | 22 |
323 | They put me in a suit for this! | 1.3247 | 0.03649 | 271 | 202 | 50 | 19 |
324 | So, NOW you want to make up. | 1.3247 | 0.03573 | 271 | 200 | 54 | 17 |
325 | All my life I've been overdressed. | 1.3247 | 0.03573 | 271 | 200 | 54 | 17 |
326 | What part of "Til death do you part" do you not understand? | 1.3246 | 0.03442 | 268 | 194 | 61 | 13 |
327 | I guess he wasn't kidding when he said, "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters." | 1.3246 | 0.03752 | 268 | 202 | 45 | 21 |
328 | Nice gesture, Mr. Mueller. But this is all a grave mistake. | 1.3245 | 0.04003 | 265 | 206 | 32 | 27 |
329 | Of all the cemetery plots in all the towns in all the world, she’s buried next to mine. | 1.3244 | 0.03736 | 262 | 196 | 47 | 19 |
330 | Sorry I only promised till death do us part. | 1.3233 | 0.03577 | 266 | 196 | 54 | 16 |
331 | you weren't funny then, and you're not funny now. | 1.3222 | 0.03801 | 239 | 177 | 47 | 15 |
332 | Well that's just great, a nudist next door. Can this day get any worse? | 1.3216 | 0.03761 | 255 | 191 | 46 | 18 |
333 | “Roses aren’t dead. Neither are you. Welcome to endlessness. How do you do?” | 1.3206 | 0.03527 | 262 | 192 | 56 | 14 |
334 | Did they ever make Catcher in the Rye into a movie? Did the Cubs eventually win the series? Did Bob Dylan ever make a comeback? | 1.3206 | 0.03689 | 262 | 196 | 48 | 18 |
335 | It already feels like an eternity. | 1.3206 | 0.03649 | 262 | 195 | 50 | 17 |
336 | How d'ya like the new digs? | 1.3192 | 0.03666 | 260 | 194 | 49 | 17 |
337 | It's not you, I just prefer women with a little more meat on their bones. | 1.3192 | 0.03666 | 260 | 194 | 49 | 17 |
338 | No, I would not like to buy a timeshare! | 1.3192 | 0.03786 | 260 | 197 | 43 | 20 |
339 | Wow. You looked different in your Tinder photo. | 1.3192 | 0.03746 | 260 | 196 | 45 | 19 |
340 | I'm just saying, you all look the same. | 1.3192 | 0.03542 | 260 | 191 | 55 | 14 |
341 | Whoa, now. What's this? I think we were both pretty clear about the '"til death do us part'"part of our vows | 1.3191 | 0.03612 | 257 | 190 | 52 | 15 |
342 | No one dresses up anymore | 1.3191 | 0.03570 | 257 | 189 | 54 | 14 |
343 | Your family was too cheap to pay for a lid, too??!! | 1.3191 | 0.03440 | 257 | 186 | 60 | 11 |
344 | You will eventually fit in! | 1.3189 | 0.03767 | 254 | 191 | 45 | 18 |
345 | Oh great, now I'm overdressed! | 1.3189 | 0.03554 | 254 | 186 | 55 | 13 |
346 | I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network | 1.3189 | 0.03808 | 254 | 192 | 43 | 19 |
347 | Of course I didn't bring it with me. | 1.3189 | 0.03808 | 254 | 192 | 43 | 19 |
348 | Why did I forget my headphones? | 1.3187 | 0.03626 | 251 | 185 | 52 | 14 |
349 | It's only until the audit's over. | 1.3187 | 0.03670 | 251 | 186 | 50 | 15 |
350 | Then my insurer says being dead is a preexisting condition.” | 1.3187 | 0.03670 | 251 | 186 | 50 | 15 |
351 | So I shot somebody in the middle of Times Square, and it DID matter. | 1.3187 | 0.03798 | 251 | 189 | 44 | 18 |
352 | I knew the plot would end like this. | 1.3176 | 0.03671 | 255 | 190 | 49 | 16 |
353 | ...and then your great-great uncle Fritz married a Johnson girl and they had seven children and...and...are you listening!? | 1.3173 | 0.03687 | 249 | 185 | 49 | 15 |
354 | When I said I was into older women, this isn't what I meant! | 1.3171 | 0.03849 | 246 | 186 | 42 | 18 |
355 | Can't you read my headstone? I'm trying to rest in peace. | 1.3171 | 0.03805 | 246 | 185 | 44 | 17 |
356 | At least I got out of Flint | 1.3171 | 0.03672 | 246 | 182 | 50 | 14 |
357 | Don't you remember? I said till death do us part" | 1.3171 | 0.03627 | 246 | 181 | 52 | 13 |
358 | Did you come straight from work?! | 1.3167 | 0.03733 | 240 | 178 | 48 | 14 |
359 | Yoohoo, Harry, It's Mom! | 1.3162 | 0.03772 | 253 | 191 | 44 | 18 |
360 | Real funny. My kids buried me next to my mother in law. | 1.3158 | 0.03704 | 247 | 184 | 48 | 15 |
361 | I was expecting something a little more... Heavenly. | 1.3158 | 0.03792 | 247 | 186 | 44 | 17 |
362 | Calm down. It's impossible. There is no winning this week's caption context. | 1.3158 | 0.03962 | 247 | 190 | 36 | 21 |
363 | Right! If you're Jimmy Hoffa, I'm Albert Einstein! | 1.3158 | 0.03920 | 247 | 189 | 38 | 20 |
364 | Oh, great. I overdressed again. | 1.3158 | 0.03568 | 247 | 181 | 54 | 12 |
365 | Don't these things have lids? | 1.3158 | 0.03704 | 247 | 184 | 48 | 15 |
366 | We said, 'Till death do us part.' That was the deal. | 1.3158 | 0.03475 | 247 | 179 | 58 | 10 |
367 | Can you please keep it down? Some of us are trying to rot! | 1.3158 | 0.03878 | 247 | 188 | 40 | 19 |
368 | He jumped to conclusions. All I said was, "Putin." It could have been George Putin, Fred Putin, ANY Putin. | 1.3158 | 0.03704 | 247 | 184 | 48 | 15 |
369 | Can I borrow your jacket? I've been chilly since 1956. | 1.3158 | 0.03835 | 247 | 187 | 42 | 18 |
370 | I prefer women with a little meat on their bones. | 1.3158 | 0.03835 | 247 | 187 | 42 | 18 |
371 | What do you want me to say, Helen? Yes, you look thin in your casket. | 1.3156 | 0.03689 | 244 | 181 | 49 | 14 |
372 | Have you heard of Herbalife? I've lost over 100 lbs in one year! | 1.3156 | 0.03824 | 244 | 184 | 43 | 17 |
373 | I didn't say shoot ME on fifth avenue! | 1.3154 | 0.03857 | 241 | 182 | 42 | 17 |
374 | I don't know. I thought I was in a mattress store. | 1.3147 | 0.03832 | 251 | 191 | 41 | 19 |
375 | Could we please stick with "Till death do us part"? | 1.3147 | 0.03343 | 251 | 180 | 63 | 8 |
376 | It's so great to have a new neighbor. The last one fell apart on me. | 1.3147 | 0.03705 | 251 | 188 | 47 | 16 |
377 | Give it a rest. | 1.3147 | 0.03790 | 251 | 190 | 43 | 18 |
378 | You with your natural food diet - those preservatives haven't hurt me one bit. | 1.3147 | 0.03391 | 251 | 181 | 61 | 9 |
379 | So I'm going to tell him the truth, I said. I'm going to tell him he screwed up, I said. What's the worst he can do, I said. He's President of the United States, I said, not the President of Russia, I said. | 1.3140 | 0.03707 | 242 | 180 | 48 | 14 |
380 | Yes, the Cubs won the World Series in 2016. And I'm guessing hell did not freeze over. | 1.3140 | 0.03931 | 242 | 185 | 38 | 19 |
381 | I think you are making fun of my small hands | 1.3133 | 0.03893 | 249 | 191 | 38 | 20 |
382 | Again with the nosy neighbors!? | 1.3130 | 0.03572 | 246 | 181 | 53 | 12 |
383 | ...just my luck to wind up next to a yenta..." | 1.3130 | 0.03841 | 246 | 187 | 41 | 18 |
384 | Compose yourself! | 1.3130 | 0.03664 | 246 | 183 | 49 | 14 |
385 | There's no WIFI here so you better start making real friends. | 1.3130 | 0.03884 | 246 | 188 | 39 | 19 |
386 | They said the neighborhood was to die for. | 1.3130 | 0.03618 | 246 | 182 | 51 | 13 |
387 | Yes Mom, it's a new suit; No, you wouldn't know anyone at the funeral! | 1.3125 | 0.03862 | 240 | 182 | 41 | 17 |
388 | I know I said ‘I woudn’t’ But meant to say ‘I would’. | 1.3125 | 0.03995 | 240 | 185 | 35 | 20 |
389 | Whoa! What'd you say? Donald Trump? President? | 1.3125 | 0.03995 | 240 | 185 | 35 | 20 |
390 | Take my word for it - it beats having to listen to the news every night! | 1.3125 | 0.03724 | 240 | 179 | 47 | 14 |
391 | My wife asked if I wanted to be buried or cremated. I said surprise me. Here I am. | 1.3125 | 0.03771 | 240 | 180 | 45 | 15 |
392 | Gimmee some skin brother! | 1.3115 | 0.03541 | 244 | 179 | 54 | 11 |
393 | I gotta start thinking out of the box. | 1.3106 | 0.03726 | 235 | 175 | 47 | 13 |
394 | Can’t a guy ever just rest in peace? | 1.3099 | 0.03698 | 242 | 181 | 47 | 14 |
395 | What ever happened to resting in peace? | 1.3099 | 0.03651 | 242 | 180 | 49 | 13 |
396 | What part of 'rest in peace' don't you understand? | 1.3099 | 0.03698 | 242 | 181 | 47 | 14 |
397 | I'll let you get settled. Plenty of time to talk later. | 1.3099 | 0.03604 | 242 | 179 | 51 | 12 |
398 | Fake news! | 1.3099 | 0.03790 | 242 | 183 | 43 | 16 |
399 | I used to say 'I'll sleep when I'm dead.' I didn't know I'd be buried next to a Walmart greeter. | 1.3099 | 0.03790 | 242 | 183 | 43 | 16 |
400 | On the bright side, you can stop dieting. | 1.3097 | 0.03823 | 226 | 169 | 44 | 13 |
401 | On Halloween we all get a raise | 1.3097 | 0.03925 | 226 | 171 | 40 | 15 |
402 | No, seriously; the host of The Apprentice. | 1.3096 | 0.04045 | 239 | 186 | 32 | 21 |
403 | You see, this is why I kept you in the closet! | 1.3096 | 0.03633 | 239 | 177 | 50 | 12 |
404 | Oh hey, been meaning to remind you, I still have your hedge trimmer in my garage. | 1.3090 | 0.03793 | 233 | 175 | 44 | 14 |
405 | Just give me some time to decompose myself. | 1.3090 | 0.03936 | 233 | 178 | 38 | 17 |
406 | No: I’m not going to help you cast an absentee ballot for Donald Trump in 2020. | 1.3090 | 0.03793 | 233 | 175 | 44 | 14 |
407 | Hi Neighbor, weren't you told about casual Fridays? | 1.3090 | 0.03889 | 233 | 177 | 40 | 16 |
408 | Hey, at least no more taxes! Am I right? | 1.3083 | 0.03808 | 240 | 182 | 42 | 16 |
409 | Why, hello there! Aren't you looking funeral parlor fresh? | 1.3083 | 0.03943 | 240 | 185 | 36 | 19 |
410 | I'm your Uber driver, Charon. | 1.3083 | 0.03715 | 240 | 180 | 46 | 14 |
411 | I lost 223 pounds. | 1.3083 | 0.03668 | 240 | 179 | 48 | 13 |
412 | Happy Anniversary, darling. I know you’ll be happy to see that I finally lost those extra pounds. | 1.3083 | 0.03762 | 240 | 181 | 44 | 15 |
413 | Don't worry, Amazon delivers here, too. | 1.3083 | 0.03943 | 240 | 185 | 36 | 19 |
414 | Can you keep it down please? I'm trying to eternally rest. | 1.3083 | 0.03854 | 240 | 183 | 40 | 17 |
415 | Would you give it a rest already? | 1.3083 | 0.03808 | 240 | 182 | 42 | 16 |
416 | And me without my soft tissues. | 1.3083 | 0.03808 | 240 | 182 | 42 | 16 |
417 | I thought Death meant we could be apart | 1.3083 | 0.03762 | 240 | 181 | 44 | 15 |
418 | For God sake, Mrs Robinson, you're still trying to seduce me !? | 1.3083 | 0.03762 | 240 | 181 | 44 | 15 |
419 | It was either this or a studio in Yonkers. | 1.3080 | 0.03887 | 237 | 181 | 39 | 17 |
420 | Till death do us PART, Maude! | 1.3080 | 0.03699 | 237 | 177 | 47 | 13 |
421 | Well, it was the last lot in NYC under a million. | 1.3080 | 0.03794 | 237 | 179 | 43 | 15 |
422 | Trump didn't realize he buried the dignity of the presidency until he couldn't get out of the hole he dug himself into. Now Benedict Arnold has a neighbor. | 1.3080 | 0.03933 | 237 | 182 | 37 | 18 |
423 | Hey!I'm Resting In Peace over here ! | 1.3080 | 0.03841 | 237 | 180 | 41 | 16 |
424 | I leave them all my money and they're too cheap to buy a coffin with a top...you too huh? | 1.3074 | 0.03762 | 231 | 173 | 45 | 13 |
425 | Hi there. Remember how you said you'd be embarrassed if you called 911 and there was nothing wrong. | 1.3070 | 0.03794 | 228 | 171 | 44 | 13 |
426 | Yes, mother, I know I should have been more careful! | 1.3064 | 0.03860 | 235 | 179 | 40 | 16 |
427 | I'm innocent! I swear it on my mother's grave. Oh, hi mom. | 1.3056 | 0.04146 | 216 | 167 | 32 | 17 |
428 | I don't think you're getting the concept of "Rest-inPeace" ! | 1.3053 | 0.03761 | 226 | 169 | 45 | 12 |
429 | So how was I to know when I bought adjacent plots with my ex-wife that it would be a decision I would regret for all eternity? | 1.3047 | 0.04066 | 233 | 182 | 31 | 20 |
430 | I said I was buried in debt, not buried and dead! | 1.3047 | 0.03582 | 233 | 172 | 51 | 10 |
431 | I looked better when I first got here, too. | 1.3047 | 0.03880 | 233 | 178 | 39 | 16 |
432 | Finally! Someone who gets me! | 1.3047 | 0.03927 | 233 | 179 | 37 | 17 |
433 | Great. The only thing that's certain is taxes. | 1.3047 | 0.03684 | 233 | 174 | 47 | 12 |
434 | We have the whole afterlife to get to know each other, but right now, I think I want to decompose a little. | 1.3047 | 0.03633 | 233 | 173 | 49 | 11 |
435 | Can't a guy get a little peace and quiet down here, mom? Yes, I see you waving, I see you waving!! | 1.3047 | 0.03684 | 233 | 174 | 47 | 12 |
436 | This whole open casket thing is clearly overrated | 1.3043 | 0.03816 | 230 | 174 | 42 | 14 |
437 | Ugh, cougar. | 1.3043 | 0.03865 | 230 | 175 | 40 | 15 |
438 | Stop or I'll tell you who's president. | 1.3043 | 0.04057 | 230 | 179 | 32 | 19 |
439 | I paid for a single! | 1.3043 | 0.03914 | 230 | 176 | 38 | 16 |
440 | 'Sleep when you're dead!' they said.. And now THIS! | 1.3043 | 0.03664 | 230 | 171 | 48 | 11 |
441 | Hell is other people. | 1.3043 | 0.03766 | 230 | 173 | 44 | 13 |
442 | Yoo Hoo! Do you have a cigarette? | 1.3043 | 0.04104 | 230 | 180 | 30 | 20 |
443 | No, no... I'm just here till 2020. | 1.3041 | 0.03862 | 217 | 163 | 42 | 12 |
444 | Who knows? Too much formaldehyde? | 1.3040 | 0.03695 | 227 | 169 | 47 | 11 |
445 | Who does a guy got to kill to rest in peace around here? | 1.3040 | 0.04142 | 227 | 178 | 29 | 20 |
446 | Compose yourself! Compose yourself! | 1.3040 | 0.03900 | 227 | 173 | 39 | 15 |
447 | Great. Buried next to my student loan officer. | 1.3026 | 0.03983 | 228 | 176 | 35 | 17 |
448 | Of course. I get the spot next to the chatty box of bones. Hey dude! What part of Rest In Peace don’t you get? | 1.3026 | 0.03784 | 228 | 172 | 43 | 13 |
449 | Thanks, but It’s too soon to date again. | 1.3026 | 0.03628 | 228 | 169 | 49 | 10 |
450 | Stop, stop, you’re killing me! | 1.3026 | 0.03733 | 228 | 171 | 45 | 12 |
451 | God, Mildred — you've taken stalking to a whole new level! | 1.3026 | 0.03784 | 228 | 172 | 43 | 13 |
452 | All I wanted was a Rent controlled apartment in a quiet neighborhood. | 1.3026 | 0.03681 | 228 | 170 | 47 | 11 |
453 | Rest in PEACE, man! Rest.. In.. PEACE! | 1.3026 | 0.03628 | 228 | 169 | 49 | 10 |
454 | Mom!!!! You're embarrassing me...... | 1.3026 | 0.04079 | 228 | 178 | 31 | 19 |
455 | Stop it! Yer killin me! | 1.3022 | 0.03817 | 225 | 170 | 42 | 13 |
456 | I am still ignoring you , mom. | 1.3022 | 0.03765 | 225 | 169 | 44 | 12 |
457 | No I didn't bring any cigarettes and you don't have any lungs. | 1.3022 | 0.03817 | 225 | 170 | 42 | 13 |
458 | It was an assisted suicide. I disagreed with my wife. | 1.3018 | 0.04108 | 222 | 173 | 31 | 18 |
459 | Yoohoooo, Mr. Stevens!!! It’s your neighbor, Gladys Kravitz!!! | 1.3000 | 0.04130 | 220 | 172 | 30 | 18 |
460 | Excuse me, Sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ? | 1.3000 | 0.04230 | 220 | 174 | 26 | 20 |
461 | Sorry, I don't have any. Quit smoking a long time ago. | 1.3000 | 0.03871 | 220 | 167 | 40 | 13 |
462 | I said "I wouldn't bet my life on it!" | 1.3000 | 0.03924 | 220 | 168 | 38 | 14 |
463 | Sorry sweetheart, we're all taken or gay down here too. | 1.3000 | 0.03871 | 220 | 167 | 40 | 13 |
464 | I wish I’d spent more time at the office! | 1.3000 | 0.03871 | 220 | 167 | 40 | 13 |
465 | Enough with the vigor mortis. | 1.3000 | 0.03817 | 220 | 166 | 42 | 12 |
466 | Seriously?! What ever happened to "'til death do us part?" | 1.3000 | 0.03762 | 220 | 165 | 44 | 11 |
467 | Seriously? It clearly stated “until death do us part!” | 1.3000 | 0.03707 | 220 | 164 | 46 | 10 |
468 | He's wondering why I am still so composed. | 1.3000 | 0.03762 | 220 | 165 | 44 | 11 |
469 | I meant wouldn't not would. | 1.3000 | 0.03924 | 220 | 168 | 38 | 14 |
470 | I think I’m in another dead-end job! | 1.3000 | 0.04029 | 220 | 170 | 34 | 16 |
471 | Of all the graveyards in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. | 1.3000 | 0.04029 | 220 | 170 | 34 | 16 |
472 | Once you settle in, you'll have to come over. | 1.3000 | 0.03977 | 220 | 169 | 36 | 15 |
473 | What part of 'til death' don't you understand? | 1.3000 | 0.03817 | 220 | 166 | 42 | 12 |
474 | But what if I don’t want the worms to cleanse me of my caustic nature and bitter soul? | 1.3000 | 0.04130 | 220 | 172 | 30 | 18 |
475 | Whatever happened to "'til death do us part"? | 1.3000 | 0.03871 | 220 | 167 | 40 | 13 |
476 | Seriously...this is not what I meant when I said I was dying to meet you! | 1.3000 | 0.03817 | 220 | 166 | 42 | 12 |
477 | The last thing I heard was "I got you covered". | 1.3000 | 0.03871 | 220 | 167 | 40 | 13 |
478 | Hey! Hey! Can it. We all still had things to do. | 1.3000 | 0.03977 | 220 | 169 | 36 | 15 |
479 | Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello! | 1.2991 | 0.04026 | 224 | 174 | 33 | 17 |
480 | I get it... Do something while there's still skin in the game. | 1.2991 | 0.03769 | 224 | 169 | 43 | 12 |
481 | I said to her that I feel dead inside. BIG mistake. | 1.2991 | 0.03822 | 224 | 170 | 41 | 13 |
482 | Hey Pal, the RIP thing ain’t a suggestion | 1.2991 | 0.03661 | 224 | 167 | 47 | 10 |
483 | Oh God, just kill me. | 1.2991 | 0.03769 | 224 | 169 | 43 | 12 |
484 | Please God, tell me that’s not my mother-in-law. | 1.2986 | 0.03802 | 221 | 167 | 42 | 12 |
485 | Hi, my name is Democracy. I'd like to give you these flowers for trying to save me. | 1.2977 | 0.03927 | 215 | 164 | 38 | 13 |
486 | I ate a Tide pod. It was fucking awesome. | 1.2972 | 0.03907 | 212 | 161 | 39 | 12 |
487 | Time share of a life time they said. Down Under, just one silent partner. What could go wrong? | 1.2968 | 0.03876 | 219 | 167 | 39 | 13 |
488 | Bone Voyage | 1.2968 | 0.03982 | 219 | 169 | 35 | 15 |
489 | So, you must be the new guy. | 1.2968 | 0.03876 | 219 | 167 | 39 | 13 |
490 | Hey - I'm dying here! | 1.2968 | 0.03710 | 219 | 164 | 45 | 10 |
491 | Wait till I have time to decompose myself. | 1.2968 | 0.03876 | 219 | 167 | 39 | 13 |
492 | Like 'FOREVER,' 'forever?' | 1.2956 | 0.03959 | 203 | 154 | 38 | 11 |
493 | These airbnb options are getting ridiculous | 1.2949 | 0.04056 | 217 | 169 | 32 | 16 |
494 | I can't hear you,you must be in a dead spot. | 1.2949 | 0.04003 | 217 | 168 | 34 | 15 |
495 | Fine, have the last word! | 1.2949 | 0.03950 | 217 | 167 | 36 | 14 |
496 | They thought I was dead, but I just didn't have my coffee. | 1.2947 | 0.04138 | 190 | 145 | 34 | 11 |
497 | Not until I know what gender you are. | 1.2930 | 0.03687 | 215 | 161 | 45 | 9 |
498 | Who can even turn over in one of these things? | 1.2930 | 0.03971 | 215 | 166 | 35 | 14 |
499 | Hey! I thought it was; life's a bitch and then you die. Not the other way around. | 1.2930 | 0.04025 | 215 | 167 | 33 | 15 |
500 | For the last time, no, I don't have time to hear an important message about the Scriptures. | 1.2930 | 0.04079 | 215 | 168 | 31 | 16 |
501 | Gary Wilson? Its Will, BHS class of '68! I sat behind you in chemistry, I was the one always playing with the Bunsen burners. | 1.2930 | 0.04079 | 215 | 168 | 31 | 16 |
502 | Ok, ok, I"ll do it one last time: "It's gonna to be a really big Shew!" | 1.2930 | 0.03860 | 215 | 164 | 39 | 12 |
503 | What part of "til death do us part' didn't you get, Helen? | 1.2930 | 0.03916 | 215 | 165 | 37 | 13 |
504 | Great, now I'll have to keep up with the "Boneses". | 1.2930 | 0.03860 | 215 | 164 | 39 | 12 |
505 | I thought "till death do us part" was binding! | 1.2930 | 0.03627 | 215 | 160 | 47 | 8 |
506 | Live! From New York!! I’m Ed Sullivan!!! | 1.2930 | 0.04079 | 215 | 168 | 31 | 16 |
507 | Hi! I'm Mike and I will be mentoring you through Rigor Mortis during the next 24 hours." | 1.2930 | 0.03860 | 215 | 164 | 39 | 12 |
508 | I think I'd rather be in Philadelphia. | 1.2930 | 0.03860 | 215 | 164 | 39 | 12 |
509 | Margo, I just got here. I can't tell yet if that coffin makes you look fat | 1.2930 | 0.03803 | 215 | 163 | 41 | 11 |
510 | Get over yourself . You’re way too old for me. | 1.2930 | 0.03687 | 215 | 161 | 45 | 9 |
511 | What happened to 'til death do us part? | 1.2930 | 0.03745 | 215 | 162 | 43 | 10 |
512 | This is worse than I thought. | 1.2930 | 0.04025 | 215 | 167 | 33 | 15 |
513 | What's not clear about "till death do us part" | 1.2925 | 0.03952 | 212 | 163 | 36 | 13 |
514 | They didn't tell me I'd be in a WiFi dead zone. | 1.2925 | 0.03895 | 212 | 162 | 38 | 12 |
515 | Remember? Until death do us part?" | 1.2925 | 0.03779 | 212 | 160 | 42 | 10 |
516 | Pull my finger. | 1.2925 | 0.03952 | 212 | 163 | 36 | 13 |
517 | We’ve been over this. You need to find another therapist. | 1.2925 | 0.03952 | 212 | 163 | 36 | 13 |
518 | Well shucks, I just got here, I'm not ready to date yet. | 1.2925 | 0.03837 | 212 | 161 | 40 | 11 |
519 | The rent here is to die for. | 1.2925 | 0.03895 | 212 | 162 | 38 | 12 |
520 | I used to think I knew what happened after death, but then again, I also thought you needed muscle to wave | 1.2925 | 0.04008 | 212 | 164 | 34 | 14 |
521 | I tell you - I'm so done with these cheap Airbnb's " | 1.2925 | 0.03837 | 212 | 161 | 40 | 11 |
522 | Hey, how are the Brooklyn Dodgers doing this season? | 1.2919 | 0.03752 | 209 | 157 | 43 | 9 |
523 | You're dead to me. | 1.2913 | 0.04144 | 206 | 161 | 30 | 15 |
524 | Hey! Long time no see! | 1.2906 | 0.03946 | 203 | 155 | 37 | 11 |
525 | The ad read, “Cozy, quiet, secluded...” | 1.2905 | 0.04086 | 210 | 164 | 31 | 15 |
526 | You almost scared me to death! | 1.2905 | 0.04030 | 210 | 163 | 33 | 14 |
527 | Oh my god, it’s my mother in law! | 1.2905 | 0.03973 | 210 | 162 | 35 | 13 |
528 | No, I didn't close the garage door. | 1.2892 | 0.04050 | 204 | 158 | 33 | 13 |
529 | What? We said until death do us part! | 1.2892 | 0.03804 | 204 | 154 | 41 | 9 |
530 | It's 'til death us do part,' so knock it off. | 1.2892 | 0.04050 | 204 | 158 | 33 | 13 |
531 | Hey,you don't look like the picture in your profile! | 1.2892 | 0.03990 | 204 | 157 | 35 | 12 |
532 | Who knew it'd be a dead-end job? | 1.2892 | 0.04050 | 204 | 158 | 33 | 13 |
533 | Keep it down, will you? I'm trying to decompose over here. | 1.2892 | 0.03929 | 204 | 156 | 37 | 11 |
534 | No, I'm not dead. I'm just waiting out the midterms | 1.2892 | 0.04050 | 204 | 158 | 33 | 13 |
535 | Our agreement was till death do us part | 1.2892 | 0.03990 | 204 | 157 | 35 | 12 |
536 | So much for "eternal rest". | 1.2892 | 0.03929 | 204 | 156 | 37 | 11 |
537 | Ugh -- worst Airbnb ever. | 1.2892 | 0.03804 | 204 | 154 | 41 | 9 |
538 | Shush. You're waking the dead. | 1.2892 | 0.03929 | 204 | 156 | 37 | 11 |
539 | I just don't understand it. One minute I'm at the Summit Meeting and suddenly... | 1.2892 | 0.03990 | 204 | 157 | 35 | 12 |
540 | Seriously?! Next to my mother-in-law? | 1.2892 | 0.04168 | 204 | 160 | 29 | 15 |
541 | For God’s sake, woman! Can’t a man get ONE MINUTE of peace and quiet?!? | 1.2892 | 0.03929 | 204 | 156 | 37 | 11 |
542 | Man, you flirt with Death just once... | 1.2892 | 0.03867 | 204 | 155 | 39 | 10 |
543 | Honestly, this is an upgrade from my last apartment | 1.2892 | 0.04050 | 204 | 158 | 33 | 13 |
544 | Now your headaches better?? | 1.2886 | 0.03904 | 201 | 153 | 38 | 10 |
545 | Dress code is Casual Eternity. | 1.2886 | 0.04029 | 201 | 155 | 34 | 12 |
546 | No, no, no, I still don’t want to hear the Good News! | 1.2885 | 0.04052 | 208 | 162 | 32 | 14 |
547 | Welcome to 'Deep State'. | 1.2872 | 0.04216 | 188 | 146 | 30 | 12 |
548 | So it's been 548 days since he took office. didn't you care when your cardiologist warned you against a diet of tequila shots and cheese fries? | 1.2872 | 0.04079 | 188 | 144 | 34 | 10 |
549 | Yes, Mom, I missed you, I missed you. | 1.2864 | 0.03793 | 199 | 150 | 41 | 8 |
550 | Can't a guy just rest in peace? | 1.2864 | 0.04051 | 199 | 154 | 33 | 12 |
551 | Jump your bones? | 1.2850 | 0.04034 | 200 | 155 | 33 | 12 |
552 | All she said was, "Would it kill you to stop looking at facebook?" | 1.2850 | 0.03907 | 200 | 153 | 37 | 10 |
553 | Nope, I still have a headache. | 1.2850 | 0.04034 | 200 | 155 | 33 | 12 |
554 | Sweetie, when I said, ‘til death do us part,’ I meant it. | 1.2843 | 0.03727 | 204 | 154 | 42 | 8 |
555 | You'll be fitting in, in no time | 1.2843 | 0.04038 | 204 | 159 | 32 | 13 |
556 | I give up. Is it really you mom? | 1.2843 | 0.03811 | 197 | 149 | 40 | 8 |
557 | Wait, I thought death did us part! | 1.2843 | 0.03811 | 197 | 149 | 40 | 8 |
558 | Can't a fellow just rest in peace? | 1.2843 | 0.03878 | 197 | 150 | 38 | 9 |
559 | So she says 'Would it kill you to buy me some flowers?' | 1.2843 | 0.04260 | 197 | 156 | 26 | 15 |
560 | You gotta be kidding, what does it take to get some time to myself. | 1.2843 | 0.04074 | 197 | 153 | 32 | 12 |
561 | Do I know You? | 1.2843 | 0.04074 | 197 | 153 | 32 | 12 |
562 | So whaddya want me to do, Ma? I'm freakin' DEAD! | 1.2843 | 0.03945 | 197 | 151 | 36 | 10 |
563 | "No, I don't think I'll ever again say I'm dying to lose weight! " | 1.2843 | 0.03945 | 197 | 151 | 36 | 10 |
564 | Sorry, I don't date older corpses. | 1.2843 | 0.03878 | 197 | 150 | 38 | 9 |
565 | All I can tell you is keep yourself hydrated. | 1.2843 | 0.03945 | 197 | 151 | 36 | 10 |
566 | Mom, just let me rest in peace for a minute, okay? | 1.2843 | 0.03811 | 197 | 149 | 40 | 8 |
567 | Geez, I said one nice thing about her clavicle and she thinks we're in relationship! | 1.2843 | 0.03811 | 197 | 149 | 40 | 8 |
568 | So I says to the Angel of Death, 'What else you got'? | 1.2843 | 0.03601 | 197 | 146 | 46 | 5 |
569 | This open concept casket is great for entertaining. | 1.2843 | 0.04137 | 197 | 154 | 30 | 13 |
570 | Its 'til death do us PART, Karen! | 1.2843 | 0.03945 | 197 | 151 | 36 | 10 |
571 | Stop, you're killing me. | 1.2843 | 0.04010 | 197 | 152 | 34 | 11 |
572 | OK, already! Yes, I'm single. | 1.2843 | 0.03811 | 197 | 149 | 40 | 8 |
573 | Don't believe that 'Rest in Peace' stuff. | 1.2843 | 0.04074 | 197 | 153 | 32 | 12 |
574 | This will be the greatest burial ever in the history of the world and, by the way, I didn't take away your health insurance. | 1.2843 | 0.03878 | 197 | 150 | 38 | 9 |
575 | When I said I was going back to my roots, I meant Ohio. | 1.2843 | 0.04074 | 197 | 153 | 32 | 12 |
576 | Hi hon. Miss me? | 1.2843 | 0.04074 | 197 | 153 | 32 | 12 |
577 | What happened to the ‘PART’ part?! | 1.2828 | 0.03794 | 198 | 150 | 40 | 8 |
578 | I f******* hated “Our Town” | 1.2828 | 0.03794 | 198 | 150 | 40 | 8 |
579 | Oh no! My mother-in-law! | 1.2828 | 0.03992 | 198 | 153 | 34 | 11 |
580 | Oh good. There you are. I've been waiting six years to tell you about my dream. | 1.2828 | 0.03861 | 198 | 151 | 38 | 9 |
581 | Shake your fist at me all you want. I'm still happy I voted for Trump. | 1.2828 | 0.04180 | 198 | 156 | 28 | 14 |
582 | That's the worst thing about death. Feigning social niceties with adjacent rotting corpses. | 1.2811 | 0.04034 | 185 | 142 | 34 | 9 |
583 | I just got here so I’m not looking for anything serious right now. | 1.2804 | 0.03975 | 189 | 145 | 35 | 9 |
584 | Yeah, yeah. You don't belong here. We all say that. | 1.2802 | 0.03845 | 182 | 137 | 39 | 6 |
585 | Ed! Ed Sulivan! It's me -- Joan Rivers! Look at you in a kosher coffin -- if it weren't for the formaldehyde people would think you're a Jew! | 1.2798 | 0.04185 | 193 | 152 | 28 | 13 |
586 | Ugh! What happened to till death do us part!? | 1.2798 | 0.03918 | 193 | 148 | 36 | 9 |
587 | You had me at "Hello." | 1.2793 | 0.04118 | 179 | 138 | 32 | 9 |
588 | Fine, yes, okay. You can borrow my suit for the Monster Mash. | 1.2792 | 0.03930 | 197 | 152 | 35 | 10 |
589 | Dear lord, they buried me in a nudist colony – next to a liberal! | 1.2792 | 0.04123 | 197 | 155 | 29 | 13 |
590 | The saying 'I'm old but I'm not dead' doesn't work anymore. | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
591 | This is the last place I thought someone would recognize me. | 1.2789 | 0.03813 | 190 | 144 | 39 | 7 |
592 | RIP my ass! | 1.2789 | 0.04294 | 190 | 151 | 25 | 14 |
593 | Darling,how many times do I have to tell you that I'm sick to death of hearing about all the weight you've lost?!? | 1.2789 | 0.04229 | 190 | 150 | 27 | 13 |
594 | I just got here. What do I know? | 1.2789 | 0.03957 | 190 | 146 | 35 | 9 |
595 | I'm trying to rest in peace, here! | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
596 | Hey buddy, what part of "R.I.P." don't you get? | 1.2789 | 0.03813 | 190 | 144 | 39 | 7 |
597 | I thought it was til death do us part. | 1.2789 | 0.03739 | 190 | 143 | 41 | 6 |
598 | All I said was, "Mr Putin, you should offer to speak to Mueller when you go to Washington to visit Trump." | 1.2789 | 0.03957 | 190 | 146 | 35 | 9 |
599 | This reminds me of the TV commercial with the man and woman in the two tubs. Funny! It doesn't feel romantic now! | 1.2789 | 0.04026 | 190 | 147 | 33 | 10 |
600 | I told you that keto diet was amazing. | 1.2789 | 0.04358 | 190 | 152 | 23 | 15 |
601 | 'Til death do us part! Remember the vows? Now leave me alone! | 1.2789 | 0.03813 | 190 | 144 | 39 | 7 |
602 | Why didn't they splurge for a lid? | 1.2789 | 0.04026 | 190 | 147 | 33 | 10 |
603 | SOLD - Cozy studio unit in quiet, well established, neighborhood. Ample green space and great neighbors. (Photo may not be of exact unit) | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
604 | Hey! I see you chose the early retirement plan. | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
605 | Oh great, I'm in the clothing optional section. | 1.2789 | 0.03739 | 190 | 143 | 41 | 6 |
606 | You’d think this would be one place where you’re left alone, but NOOO. | 1.2789 | 0.03957 | 190 | 146 | 35 | 9 |
607 | Hey, so Hillary won and all is good, right? | 1.2789 | 0.03957 | 190 | 146 | 35 | 9 |
608 | Okay, okay, it wasn't the cooking and you do have big bones. | 1.2789 | 0.04229 | 190 | 150 | 27 | 13 |
609 | Of all the cemeteries in all the towns in all the world, she's buried in mine. | 1.2789 | 0.04229 | 190 | 150 | 27 | 13 |
610 | Now is not the time to lecture me on smoking! | 1.2789 | 0.03957 | 190 | 146 | 35 | 9 |
611 | I told you 20 years ago, I already have insurance! | 1.2789 | 0.04162 | 190 | 149 | 29 | 12 |
612 | Underground nightlife sounded good ... at first | 1.2789 | 0.03886 | 190 | 145 | 37 | 8 |
613 | Before you know it you'll have roots in the community. | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
614 | So, I forgot our anniversary. Sue me! | 1.2789 | 0.03886 | 190 | 145 | 37 | 8 |
615 | You must be new around here. | 1.2789 | 0.04162 | 190 | 149 | 29 | 12 |
616 | 'Till death do us part my a** | 1.2789 | 0.04095 | 190 | 148 | 31 | 11 |
617 | I knew I shouldn’t have let her take out ‘Till death do us part’. | 1.2789 | 0.04026 | 190 | 147 | 33 | 10 |
618 | Guess what? No heaven! | 1.2787 | 0.04272 | 183 | 144 | 27 | 12 |
619 | I’m ghosting you. | 1.2784 | 0.04035 | 194 | 151 | 32 | 11 |
620 | Harold, Now you decide to come out! | 1.2784 | 0.03901 | 194 | 149 | 36 | 9 |
621 | Do you come here often? | 1.2784 | 0.04035 | 194 | 151 | 32 | 11 |
622 | Tell me about it. I jogged. ate healthy and didn’t smoke — what a waste. | 1.2784 | 0.03832 | 194 | 148 | 38 | 8 |
623 | I think it's because I'm dead on the inside. | 1.2775 | 0.04143 | 191 | 150 | 29 | 12 |
624 | Oh, I know. I know. Ed Sullivan! | 1.2775 | 0.04209 | 191 | 151 | 27 | 13 |
625 | I guess my family paid for better embalming fluid | 1.2757 | 0.04090 | 185 | 144 | 31 | 10 |
626 | You call that thinking outside the box? | 1.2751 | 0.04030 | 189 | 147 | 32 | 10 |
627 | Must you always have the last word? | 1.2742 | 0.04141 | 186 | 146 | 29 | 11 |
628 | Obviously, my wife misunderstood me when I said I was desperate for some peace and quiet. | 1.2742 | 0.04347 | 186 | 149 | 23 | 14 |
629 | Dead with benefits? | 1.2742 | 0.03999 | 186 | 144 | 33 | 9 |
630 | You??? What about that death do us part promise?? | 1.2742 | 0.03925 | 186 | 143 | 35 | 8 |
631 | Just tell me how you got out of your suit? It's hot as hell down here! | 1.2742 | 0.04347 | 186 | 149 | 23 | 14 |
632 | Why am I so attractive to older women? | 1.2742 | 0.04211 | 186 | 147 | 27 | 12 |
633 | Excuse me…How did ‘Game of Thrones’ end?” | 1.2742 | 0.03999 | 186 | 144 | 33 | 9 |
634 | Is Hillary everything we had hoped for? | 1.2742 | 0.04347 | 186 | 149 | 23 | 14 |
635 | This is not rest or peace | 1.2737 | 0.04011 | 190 | 148 | 32 | 10 |
636 | I honestly believed it WOULD end when we reached the "till death us do part" part. | 1.2732 | 0.03964 | 183 | 141 | 34 | 8 |
637 | Sorry babe, but I prefer a gal with a little meat on her bones. | 1.2732 | 0.03730 | 183 | 138 | 40 | 5 |
638 | Then he demanded, "Your money or your life..." You too? | 1.2732 | 0.04113 | 183 | 143 | 30 | 10 |
639 | It's too late for apologies, Gladys. | 1.2732 | 0.03810 | 183 | 139 | 38 | 6 |
640 | The aggravating part is I still don't feel ready to make a commitment! | 1.2732 | 0.04185 | 183 | 144 | 28 | 11 |
641 | Yoo-hoo! | 1.2727 | 0.04326 | 187 | 150 | 23 | 14 |
642 | The tree is in YOUR yard, lady. | 1.2727 | 0.03833 | 187 | 143 | 37 | 7 |
643 | Hey there, friend! Have a few minutes to talk about hole life insurance? | 1.2727 | 0.04122 | 187 | 147 | 29 | 11 |
644 | So what did I go and buy a suit for? | 1.2727 | 0.03833 | 187 | 143 | 37 | 7 |
645 | I meant pull the plug in the bathtub. | 1.2727 | 0.04051 | 187 | 146 | 31 | 10 |
646 | Death was supposed to end this! | 1.2727 | 0.04191 | 187 | 148 | 27 | 12 |
647 | Eating organic really does make a difference. | 1.2727 | 0.04191 | 187 | 148 | 27 | 12 |
648 | I was hoping death would us part." | 1.2727 | 0.03980 | 187 | 145 | 33 | 9 |
649 | I’ve been pushing these up just for you. | 1.2727 | 0.04122 | 187 | 147 | 29 | 11 |
650 | Sorry, I prefer women with a bit more flesh on their bones. | 1.2727 | 0.03980 | 187 | 145 | 33 | 9 |
651 | Hello? Doesn't anyone knock before they inter? | 1.2727 | 0.03907 | 187 | 144 | 35 | 8 |
652 | Damn Google Maps. I followed directions to Gravesend Brooklyn and you’re saying I’m DEAD? Unbelievable. | 1.2727 | 0.04191 | 187 | 148 | 27 | 12 |
653 | I think I'll pass. | 1.2727 | 0.03980 | 187 | 145 | 33 | 9 |
654 | I wonder if anyone else fell for this Down Under getaway? | 1.2727 | 0.03980 | 187 | 145 | 33 | 9 |
655 | I'm flattered, but I'm not looking for anything serious right now. | 1.2727 | 0.03907 | 187 | 144 | 35 | 8 |
656 | Is no place safe from gentrification? | 1.2727 | 0.04457 | 187 | 152 | 19 | 16 |
657 | And now the plot thickens. | 1.2727 | 0.04122 | 187 | 147 | 29 | 11 |
658 | Buried is the new dead. | 1.2727 | 0.04122 | 187 | 147 | 29 | 11 |
659 | If this is all there is, wave. | 1.2727 | 0.04051 | 187 | 146 | 31 | 10 |
660 | I never know what to wear to these things. | 1.2727 | 0.04051 | 187 | 146 | 31 | 10 |
661 | Hey new guy, no worries. It'll take till spring for your clothes to melt off but then it's quite roomy | 1.2727 | 0.03833 | 187 | 143 | 37 | 7 |
662 | Oh, my God, my mother-in-law...Sartre was right. | 1.2722 | 0.04156 | 180 | 141 | 29 | 10 |
663 | But, I had the biggest inauguration crowds ever... | 1.2722 | 0.04445 | 180 | 145 | 21 | 14 |
664 | Oh, Dang - this suit isn't recyclable and I'll be in it for Eternity. | 1.2717 | 0.04093 | 184 | 144 | 30 | 10 |
665 | I thought I asked for a single ! | 1.2717 | 0.03632 | 184 | 138 | 42 | 4 |
666 | Like I've been telling you for eternity ... I did not know you were allergic to daisies. | 1.2717 | 0.04020 | 184 | 143 | 32 | 9 |
667 | I thought I said, "DON'T wait up for me!" | 1.2717 | 0.04165 | 184 | 145 | 28 | 11 |
668 | But enough about me | 1.2717 | 0.04093 | 184 | 144 | 30 | 10 |
669 | Great...a pushy bonehead neighbor for all eternity. | 1.2717 | 0.04093 | 184 | 144 | 30 | 10 |
670 | What now?" | 1.2717 | 0.04020 | 184 | 143 | 32 | 9 |
671 | All right already!! "Dem bones dem bones dem crazy bones..." | 1.2717 | 0.04305 | 184 | 147 | 24 | 13 |
672 | Your roommate ad was misleading. | 1.2717 | 0.03869 | 184 | 141 | 36 | 7 |
673 | Wake up hombre, it’s dia de los Muertos! | 1.2717 | 0.03632 | 184 | 138 | 42 | 4 |
674 | We're stuck here, so live with it! | 1.2717 | 0.03792 | 184 | 140 | 38 | 6 |
675 | Hi I know we’ve never met but we were friends on Facebook | 1.2717 | 0.04236 | 184 | 146 | 26 | 12 |
676 | If I give you my flowers, will you finally shut up about Hillary's emails? | 1.2717 | 0.04236 | 184 | 146 | 26 | 12 |
677 | How did I get here? Well, there was this news conference, and I asked Putin a question that he didn't like. | 1.2717 | 0.04305 | 184 | 147 | 24 | 13 |
678 | Harriet, you begged me for years to wear this suit. So now I am! | 1.2717 | 0.04165 | 184 | 145 | 28 | 11 |
679 | And he says, "I'm dying here!" | 1.2717 | 0.04236 | 184 | 146 | 26 | 12 |
680 | What about "until death do us part?" | 1.2717 | 0.03792 | 184 | 140 | 38 | 6 |
681 | Do I look fat in this casket!? That’s the first question you ask me, Muriel? | 1.2717 | 0.04441 | 184 | 149 | 20 | 15 |
682 | Why do I always get seated next to a weirdo?! | 1.2717 | 0.04165 | 184 | 145 | 28 | 11 |
683 | Stop me if you’ve already heard this one. | 1.2717 | 0.03713 | 184 | 139 | 40 | 5 |
684 | What did I do in life to end up next to the founder of Welcome Wagon? | 1.2717 | 0.04093 | 184 | 144 | 30 | 10 |
685 | No, I don't want to join your professional network on Linkedin. | 1.2717 | 0.04165 | 184 | 145 | 28 | 11 |
686 | On and on about the flowers, just take mine, I'm trying to rest in peace here! | 1.2717 | 0.03945 | 184 | 142 | 34 | 8 |
687 | It should have been obvious that what I meant was, 'I |
1.2717 | 0.04499 | 173 | 139 | 21 | 13 |
688 | Dear God, Margaret. Do you hear yourself? I'm here, like, what, five minutes? And already you're starting with the rattle, rattle, rattle. Can't I get some peace and quiet? Oh, and your sister called. We have to send her a sign we arrived o.k. | 1.2707 | 0.04210 | 181 | 143 | 27 | 11 |
689 | Could be worse. At least I don’t have to watch the GOP bury its head in the sand any more. | 1.2707 | 0.04061 | 181 | 141 | 31 | 9 |
690 | Hey new neighbor, could you stop the complaining about what’s going on in Washington and just roll over like the rest of us do?” | 1.2697 | 0.04104 | 178 | 139 | 30 | 9 |
691 | So much for peace. | 1.2697 | 0.03865 | 178 | 136 | 36 | 6 |
692 | Stop me if you've heard this one before. | 1.2697 | 0.03865 | 178 | 136 | 36 | 6 |
693 | I understand. I felt the same way the first 100 years. | 1.2692 | 0.03966 | 182 | 141 | 33 | 8 |
694 | Sure I date older women. | 1.2692 | 0.04116 | 182 | 143 | 29 | 10 |
695 | I don't care that we're six feet under,I will build a fence here too. | 1.2692 | 0.03888 | 182 | 140 | 35 | 7 |
696 | Stop it, Mom. You're embarrassing me." | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
697 | The vows clearly said TIL death do us part. | 1.2682 | 0.03846 | 179 | 137 | 36 | 6 |
698 | So if you're Death, am I supposed to be Taxes? | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
699 | What, no St. Peter? | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
700 | I'm an introvert. I told them I didn't want to be buried in the friendly section. | 1.2682 | 0.04083 | 179 | 140 | 30 | 9 |
701 | Here...I'm deathly allergic. | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
702 | Will I have to hear about not noticing your weight loss forever? | 1.2682 | 0.04083 | 179 | 140 | 30 | 9 |
703 | One's a introverted, grumpy, flesh bag The other's a friendly, outgoing, bunch of bones! Coming to NBC this fall-THE ODD COUPLE | 1.2682 | 0.04160 | 179 | 141 | 28 | 10 |
704 | I've never dated older women, but hey, it's never too late, right? | 1.2682 | 0.03593 | 179 | 134 | 42 | 3 |
705 | Stop, stop, this is a R.I.P. zone!" | 1.2682 | 0.04083 | 179 | 140 | 30 | 9 |
706 | I told them, don't waste your money on a fancy suit! | 1.2682 | 0.03846 | 179 | 137 | 36 | 6 |
707 | Look on the bright side, bro. Never more tendinitis. | 1.2682 | 0.03846 | 179 | 137 | 36 | 6 |
708 | Does it look like I remember you? | 1.2682 | 0.04160 | 179 | 141 | 28 | 10 |
709 | I can't go anywhere without being recognized. | 1.2682 | 0.04234 | 179 | 142 | 26 | 11 |
710 | I need some time to grieve for myself. | 1.2682 | 0.04083 | 179 | 140 | 30 | 9 |
711 | Terrific. The Welcome Wagon. | 1.2682 | 0.03846 | 179 | 137 | 36 | 6 |
712 | Can you swipe left down here? | 1.2682 | 0.04160 | 179 | 141 | 28 | 10 |
713 | What part of depart don’t you understand? | 1.2682 | 0.04083 | 179 | 140 | 30 | 9 |
714 | I'm sorry but I just got out of a relationship. | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
715 | "I always wanted to go into real estate. You? | 1.2682 | 0.03927 | 179 | 138 | 34 | 7 |
716 | On behalf of the welcoming committee, you're invited to Happy Hour at 5 p.m. | 1.2682 | 0.04308 | 179 | 143 | 24 | 12 |
717 | While annoyed by Susan’s flirtatious tactics, Ted couldn’t help but admire her determination to sell him life insurance. | 1.2682 | 0.04308 | 179 | 143 | 24 | 12 |
718 | When I asked for an open casket, I still thought it came with a lid? | 1.2682 | 0.04160 | 179 | 141 | 28 | 10 |
719 | Who's the 'bonehead' now, Frankie Boy! | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
720 | No, Mr. Rogers, I WON'T be your neighbor! | 1.2682 | 0.04006 | 179 | 139 | 32 | 8 |
721 | Read the sign! | 1.2682 | 0.04160 | 179 | 141 | 28 | 10 |
722 | For the last time, I'm not interested in your book club! | 1.2682 | 0.04308 | 179 | 143 | 24 | 12 |
723 | Oh great. Buried alive again! | 1.2679 | 0.04344 | 168 | 133 | 25 | 10 |
724 | Ugh — should have gone with cremation. | 1.2670 | 0.04127 | 176 | 138 | 29 | 9 |
725 | The report of my death was an exaggeration. | 1.2667 | 0.03986 | 180 | 140 | 32 | 8 |
726 | Hi, nice to meet my replacement in the Trump administration! | 1.2667 | 0.04429 | 180 | 146 | 20 | 14 |
727 | I thought the press would leave me alone at this point! | 1.2667 | 0.03986 | 180 | 140 | 32 | 8 |
728 | Oh great!! They buried me next to a nudist. | 1.2667 | 0.04063 | 180 | 141 | 30 | 9 |
729 | . . . shoulda took the deal | 1.2667 | 0.03745 | 180 | 137 | 38 | 5 |
730 | That cut rate funeral home left off the lids. | 1.2667 | 0.04358 | 180 | 145 | 22 | 13 |
731 | I guess this must be a near life experience. | 1.2667 | 0.03986 | 180 | 140 | 32 | 8 |
732 | Hello Leonard. Yes, I remember you from sixth grade. | 1.2667 | 0.04063 | 180 | 141 | 30 | 9 |
733 | The view's not great, but it was the only studio in my price range. | 1.2667 | 0.04063 | 180 | 141 | 30 | 9 |
734 | Ugh. Even death involves networking? | 1.2667 | 0.03986 | 180 | 140 | 32 | 8 |
735 | This is the worst blind date ever. | 1.2659 | 0.04251 | 173 | 137 | 26 | 10 |
736 | I’ve made a terrible mistake. | 1.2659 | 0.04329 | 173 | 138 | 24 | 11 |
737 | Don't worry in a week you'll feel more grounded. | 1.2655 | 0.04106 | 177 | 139 | 29 | 9 |
738 | The real estate's cheap and the neighbors are quiet. | 1.2655 | 0.04106 | 177 | 139 | 29 | 9 |
739 | Good coffins make better neighbors. | 1.2655 | 0.03864 | 177 | 136 | 35 | 6 |
740 | Are we there yet? | 1.2655 | 0.04106 | 177 | 139 | 29 | 9 |
741 | Stop! You're killing me . . . | 1.2655 | 0.04183 | 177 | 140 | 27 | 10 |
742 | And now you want me! | 1.2655 | 0.04106 | 177 | 139 | 29 | 9 |
743 | Too soon? | 1.2655 | 0.04027 | 177 | 138 | 31 | 8 |
744 | So I says to him, I said 'I'll show you the greatest escape ever!' " | 1.2644 | 0.04229 | 174 | 138 | 26 | 10 |
745 | Wait, there's been a mistake. I paid for the room with a window and a view of the golf course. | 1.2632 | 0.04356 | 171 | 137 | 23 | 11 |
746 | Is it too late to be cremated? | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
747 | This looked bigger on Dirtbnb. | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
748 | This wasn't the view that was advertised. | 1.2632 | 0.03853 | 171 | 131 | 35 | 5 |
749 | Why me?" is the usual first stage of post-life syndrome | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
750 | My third wish was I looked this good forever | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
751 | Hey, hey! Put a lid on it! | 1.2632 | 0.04511 | 171 | 139 | 19 | 13 |
752 | Clearly you are too old for me | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
753 | No, I don't need insurance, now. | 1.2632 | 0.04434 | 171 | 138 | 21 | 12 |
754 | I said better or worse...not forever! | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
755 | Yo better smell them now because in awhile you won’t have a nose. | 1.2632 | 0.04276 | 171 | 136 | 25 | 10 |
756 | I’d wave back but I’m still in the rigor mortis stage. | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
757 | Why didn't I read the prenup? | 1.2632 | 0.04276 | 171 | 136 | 25 | 10 |
758 | I thought this time-share presentation was only 90 minutes. | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
759 | I feel overdressed! | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
760 | Apparently getting off Facebook is much harder than I thought. | 1.2632 | 0.04276 | 171 | 136 | 25 | 10 |
761 | Why?Why? Why? They knew I hated this suit! | 1.2632 | 0.03853 | 171 | 131 | 35 | 5 |
762 | Hey Bob, can I have some skin? | 1.2632 | 0.04434 | 171 | 138 | 21 | 12 |
763 | So you're saying it's what's underneath that counts? | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
764 | I should have read the fine print on that prepaid funeral expense | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
765 | I turned the oven off. Now would you give it a rest? | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
766 | Sigh! 'Rest in Peace' ,they said! | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
767 | Will you please stop that rattling. I'm trying to settle in. | 1.2632 | 0.03941 | 171 | 132 | 33 | 6 |
768 | Hey! Over Here! I'm you in five years! | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
769 | Well Margaret, at least you've lost weight. | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
770 | Won't you be my neighbor? | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
771 | I just can’t seem to get away from shallow people | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
772 | Fake news! Witness my resurrection in 2020! | 1.2632 | 0.04112 | 171 | 134 | 29 | 8 |
773 | Hey! Did you pack any weed? | 1.2632 | 0.04276 | 171 | 136 | 25 | 10 |
774 | Hi neighbor! Just wanted to welcome you to forever. | 1.2632 | 0.03941 | 171 | 132 | 33 | 6 |
775 | So how the hell do I respond to that? "Hey babe, you've got beautiful bone structure!" Gimme a break. | 1.2632 | 0.04434 | 171 | 138 | 21 | 12 |
776 | Fake Obituary, am I right? | 1.2632 | 0.03853 | 171 | 131 | 35 | 5 |
777 | Proving once again, there is no peace for the wicked. | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
778 | Please read my obituary: No flowers, please. | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
779 | Now you lose weight! | 1.2632 | 0.04434 | 171 | 138 | 21 | 12 |
780 | The Craigslist ad clearly stated, "Cramped, dark room with NO roommates!" | 1.2632 | 0.04434 | 171 | 138 | 21 | 12 |
781 | Welcome to the second certainty in life. | 1.2632 | 0.03941 | 171 | 132 | 33 | 6 |
782 | I said I'm not accepting any more clients! | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
783 | Stop waving at me. It just makes this worse. | 1.2632 | 0.04195 | 171 | 135 | 27 | 9 |
784 | I thought there'd be a heavenly host to greet me. | 1.2632 | 0.04356 | 171 | 137 | 23 | 11 |
785 | So then I said, "What do I have to do to get some rest around here?" | 1.2632 | 0.04028 | 171 | 133 | 31 | 7 |
786 | I'm dying to get some peace and quiet! | 1.2629 | 0.04048 | 175 | 137 | 30 | 8 |
787 | Nobody mentioned an adjoining casket. | 1.2629 | 0.04048 | 175 | 137 | 30 | 8 |
788 | I ate the Trump steaks, drank the Trump water, graduated from you-know-where...then got hit by a bus! | 1.2619 | 0.04242 | 168 | 133 | 26 | 9 |
789 | How many phalanges am I holding up? | 1.2619 | 0.04157 | 168 | 132 | 28 | 8 |
790 | Face it Emily, our marriage is still dead. | 1.2590 | 0.03909 | 166 | 128 | 33 | 5 |
791 | Please stop quoting 'Our Town.' | 1.2590 | 0.04002 | 166 | 129 | 31 | 6 |
792 | Sorry I’m late. Remission lasted longer than expected. | 1.2590 | 0.03909 | 166 | 128 | 33 | 5 |
793 | Rodney, you're still slaying them after all these years. | 1.2590 | 0.04180 | 166 | 131 | 27 | 8 |
794 | Hey newbie, wanna come over and watch the grass grow from below with me? | 1.2590 | 0.04180 | 166 | 131 | 27 | 8 |
795 | But we made a deal! 'Til death do us part! | 1.2588 | 0.04028 | 170 | 133 | 30 | 7 |
796 | Why did I have to be all-dressed-up for this? | 1.2588 | 0.04113 | 170 | 134 | 28 | 8 |
797 | I thought we agreed until death do us part! | 1.2588 | 0.03851 | 170 | 131 | 34 | 5 |
798 | Yes, still a magician. No, no—still just visiting. | 1.2588 | 0.04439 | 170 | 138 | 20 | 12 |
799 | Damn it, Bill. Put on some clothes! | 1.2588 | 0.04279 | 170 | 136 | 24 | 10 |
800 | Okay, I'll friend you if you'll just let me rest in peace. | 1.2581 | 0.04374 | 155 | 123 | 24 | 8 |
801 | Oh my God! I have to call you back, my ex-boyfriend just moved in literally next door. | 1.2581 | 0.04562 | 155 | 125 | 20 | 10 |
802 | In fact no, I don't want to hear another haunting melody. | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
803 | Why the hell didn’t I opt for cremation? | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
804 | Is there Wifi down here? | 1.2575 | 0.04070 | 167 | 131 | 29 | 7 |
805 | Unbelievable! This is it?? | 1.2575 | 0.04328 | 167 | 134 | 23 | 10 |
806 | Oh great. Now I get some respect! | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
807 | Look, I don’t want seem picky but your Tinder ad said ‘slim female’ looking for well- dressed male. Really? | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
808 | At least give me time to decompose before asking me on a date | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
809 | Ma! Enough about my tie...I didn’t really have a CHOICE! | 1.2575 | 0.03889 | 167 | 129 | 33 | 5 |
810 | Hey buddy, wanna start an underground band?" | 1.2575 | 0.04158 | 167 | 132 | 27 | 8 |
811 | So I tell her 'if you hate me so much then why don't you just go ahead and kill me?'" | 1.2575 | 0.04070 | 167 | 131 | 29 | 7 |
812 | I hear you knocking , but you can't come in. | 1.2573 | 0.04007 | 171 | 134 | 30 | 7 |
813 | I see you are new here. Can I lend you a hand? | 1.2573 | 0.03920 | 171 | 133 | 32 | 6 |
814 | A monumentally successful program of morning-latte-arsenic-lacing followed by 17 years of accusations.... and they still bury me next to her??!! | 1.2573 | 0.03920 | 171 | 133 | 32 | 6 |
815 | So why does everyone have to bring flowers? Pizza would be good some time. | 1.2573 | 0.04007 | 171 | 134 | 30 | 7 |
816 | I should have made an ash of myself. | 1.2573 | 0.04175 | 171 | 136 | 26 | 9 |
817 | Did you pick door number 2? | 1.2564 | 0.04155 | 156 | 122 | 28 | 6 |
818 | Hey, check my will again—CREMATION! | 1.2561 | 0.04204 | 164 | 130 | 26 | 8 |
819 | Yes, I remember you, and no, I don't want to hear how a life insurance policy may be right for me." | 1.2561 | 0.04292 | 164 | 131 | 24 | 9 |
820 | What? All I said was, ‘Hey, Mr. Putin, how’s the weather down there?’ | 1.2561 | 0.04204 | 164 | 130 | 26 | 8 |
821 | Coulda sworn I left them all in the closet! | 1.2561 | 0.04114 | 164 | 129 | 28 | 7 |
822 | All because I mumbled 'till death do us part' ... | 1.2561 | 0.03928 | 164 | 127 | 32 | 5 |
823 | Hi there. I'm Bones, your Airbnb super host | 1.2561 | 0.04114 | 164 | 129 | 28 | 7 |
824 | I told my wife I just wanted to get away for the weekend. She said, "Wait, I have a better idea." | 1.2561 | 0.04204 | 164 | 130 | 26 | 8 |
825 | I always get seated next to the talkative guy. | 1.2561 | 0.04022 | 164 | 128 | 30 | 6 |
826 | Just let me rest in peace! | 1.2561 | 0.04022 | 164 | 128 | 30 | 6 |
827 | Should I expect this enthusiasm every morning for eternity? | 1.2561 | 0.04114 | 164 | 129 | 28 | 7 |
828 | Hey new guy! What part of Rest In Peace don’t you understand? | 1.2561 | 0.04292 | 164 | 131 | 24 | 9 |
829 | Still better than flying coach, amirite? | 1.2561 | 0.04204 | 164 | 130 | 26 | 8 |
830 | Leave me alone! Look, I don't have any change! | 1.2560 | 0.04049 | 168 | 132 | 29 | 7 |
831 | Look, what part of ‘til death do us part’ do you not understand?” | 1.2560 | 0.03869 | 168 | 130 | 33 | 5 |
832 | What about “rest in peace” don’t you understand? | 1.2560 | 0.04049 | 168 | 132 | 29 | 7 |
833 | Excuse me but exactly what is it about 'RIP' that you don't get?" | 1.2560 | 0.04387 | 168 | 136 | 21 | 11 |
834 | All right, all right! I'll read The Watchtower. | 1.2560 | 0.04049 | 168 | 132 | 29 | 7 |
835 | What part of “ ‘til death com us part” don’t you understand? | 1.2560 | 0.03960 | 168 | 131 | 31 | 6 |
836 | It beats a 7-floor walk-up | 1.2560 | 0.04049 | 168 | 132 | 29 | 7 |
837 | So this is what Trump meant about getting me a job "in the deep state" | 1.2560 | 0.04387 | 168 | 136 | 21 | 11 |
838 | I specifically requested sleeping with the fishes! | 1.2560 | 0.04221 | 168 | 134 | 25 | 9 |
839 | Hi! My name is Fred. What is your name? I was a salesman. What did you do? We are going to have so much fun. I have wated a long time for a friend. Did you have friends? I necver had friends. Eternity here we come! We are now a wolfpack! ............ | 1.2560 | 0.04136 | 168 | 133 | 27 | 8 |
840 | I was expecting more than just a 'rose garden'. | 1.2560 | 0.04305 | 168 | 135 | 23 | 10 |
841 | Hey, I remember you from the Poconos in '68! Say something funny! | 1.2560 | 0.04221 | 168 | 134 | 25 | 9 |
842 | Worst stalker I've ever had. | 1.2560 | 0.03869 | 168 | 130 | 33 | 5 |
843 | Welcome to the Six Feet Under Club! | 1.2560 | 0.04136 | 168 | 133 | 27 | 8 |
844 | Oh, you’re still on hold too? | 1.2560 | 0.04221 | 168 | 134 | 25 | 9 |
845 | Exactly how long have you been waiting for Mr. Right? | 1.2560 | 0.04221 | 168 | 134 | 25 | 9 |
846 | The first 50 years are always the hardest | 1.2560 | 0.04305 | 168 | 135 | 23 | 10 |
847 | Did they find Hillary's missing servers yet? | 1.2560 | 0.04305 | 168 | 135 | 23 | 10 |
848 | For godssakes, Hilda, didn't you look at the inscriptions? 'In PEACE! In PEACE!' | 1.2560 | 0.03960 | 168 | 131 | 31 | 6 |
849 | I wonder if it's too late for an upgrade. | 1.2547 | 0.04159 | 161 | 127 | 27 | 7 |
850 | I just feel it’s too early for me. | 1.2545 | 0.04001 | 165 | 129 | 30 | 6 |
851 | I donno, the last thing I remember, I ordered a salad at the drive through. | 1.2545 | 0.03907 | 165 | 128 | 32 | 5 |
852 | So this is my punishment for ghosting you all those years ago? | 1.2545 | 0.04269 | 165 | 132 | 24 | 9 |
853 | It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a neighbor, Would you be mine? | 1.2545 | 0.04001 | 165 | 129 | 30 | 6 |
854 | Is it too late to rethink cremation? | 1.2545 | 0.04181 | 165 | 131 | 26 | 8 |
855 | When you're Ed Sullivan, you never age! | 1.2545 | 0.03907 | 165 | 128 | 32 | 5 |
856 | No Jimmy, I'm still not going to call on you. | 1.2545 | 0.04001 | 165 | 129 | 30 | 6 |
857 | You should have gone commando like I did. | 1.2532 | 0.04109 | 158 | 124 | 28 | 6 |
858 | Down here Welcome Wagon operates with a skeleton crew.” Jim Hein, Pittsburgh, Pa. | 1.2531 | 0.04406 | 162 | 131 | 21 | 10 |
859 | 'Your Airbnb profile suggested that this place was on the subway' | 1.2531 | 0.04406 | 162 | 131 | 21 | 10 |
860 | Bone jour mes zombi.... | 1.2531 | 0.04318 | 162 | 130 | 23 | 9 |
861 | I thought the deal was Till Death Do Us Part? | 1.2531 | 0.04228 | 162 | 129 | 25 | 8 |
862 | Of course I’m still sorry. By the way, she left me a week after the funeral. | 1.2531 | 0.04228 | 162 | 129 | 25 | 8 |
863 | That's why I wanted to be cremated | 1.2531 | 0.04406 | 162 | 131 | 21 | 10 |
864 | All I said to her was equal pay is a crock. | 1.2531 | 0.04228 | 162 | 129 | 25 | 8 |
865 | Quit your complaining......Here, you can have MY flowers. | 1.2531 | 0.04228 | 162 | 129 | 25 | 8 |
866 | They couldn't spring for a lid?! | 1.2531 | 0.04043 | 162 | 127 | 29 | 6 |
867 | Allan, Allan, what happened at the last board meeting!! | 1.2531 | 0.04043 | 162 | 127 | 29 | 6 |
868 | Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated. | 1.2531 | 0.04228 | 162 | 129 | 25 | 8 |
869 | I refuse to play 'Keeping up with the Boneses'" | 1.2531 | 0.04136 | 162 | 128 | 27 | 7 |
870 | Seriously, what fresh hell is this?! | 1.2531 | 0.04136 | 162 | 128 | 27 | 7 |
871 | This looked a lot better in the listing | 1.2531 | 0.04136 | 162 | 128 | 27 | 7 |
872 | Whose idea was family plots? | 1.2531 | 0.04136 | 162 | 128 | 27 | 7 |
873 | I’ve heard of “getting buried alive in an open coffin next to a waving skeleton you can’t see because there’s dirt separating your grave plots,” but this is ridiculous! | 1.2516 | 0.04368 | 159 | 128 | 22 | 9 |
874 | I know we said we'd put this one to rest, but I still think there is reasonable doubt that a tomato is a fruit. And don't get me started on Pluto... | 1.2516 | 0.04182 | 159 | 126 | 26 | 7 |
875 | There's no stand-up here, bud. Just lay down, relax and rot. | 1.2515 | 0.04114 | 163 | 129 | 27 | 7 |
876 | Still complaining | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
877 | Like I brought a condom with me? | 1.2515 | 0.04294 | 163 | 131 | 23 | 9 |
878 | Honey, do you remember when we pushed our mattresses together | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
879 | No thanks, I'm just passing through | 1.2515 | 0.04114 | 163 | 129 | 27 | 7 |
880 | Welcome to our community!! I'm Harry and you and I are going to be neighbors from here to eternity. | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
881 | But, my lawyer said it was only "til death do us part!" | 1.2515 | 0.03828 | 163 | 126 | 33 | 4 |
882 | I already told you I hate charades. | 1.2515 | 0.04114 | 163 | 129 | 27 | 7 |
883 | Ma, please – I just got here. Give me time to decompose a little! | 1.2515 | 0.03925 | 163 | 127 | 31 | 5 |
884 | No, I am not grateful; yes, I am dead. | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
885 | How many times do I have to tell you I don't want any insurance! | 1.2515 | 0.04467 | 163 | 133 | 19 | 11 |
886 | Finally, I'm on the Ed Sullivan Show! | 1.2515 | 0.03925 | 163 | 127 | 31 | 5 |
887 | Our vows said Til Death Do We Part . Why are you still nagging me? | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
888 | The price was right, but I should have listened to the Airbnb reviews about the over-friendly host. | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
889 | This is what I get for falling in love with a gravedigger. | 1.2515 | 0.04114 | 163 | 129 | 27 | 7 |
890 | It's never too late to say you're sorry. | 1.2515 | 0.04021 | 163 | 128 | 29 | 6 |
891 | I told you I was sick!! | 1.2515 | 0.04294 | 163 | 131 | 23 | 9 |
892 | Is it asking too much to just rest in peace?: | 1.2515 | 0.04021 | 163 | 128 | 29 | 6 |
893 | Leave me alone, what do you think RIP means? | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
894 | How do I know you're my father? | 1.2515 | 0.04381 | 163 | 132 | 21 | 10 |
895 | I’m dead serious but I think I just got more Formalin than necessary! | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
896 | Steve, it was a Witch Hunt, I did not collude. | 1.2515 | 0.04205 | 163 | 130 | 25 | 8 |
897 | No, I don’t have any Grey Poupon! | 1.2515 | 0.03925 | 163 | 127 | 31 | 5 |
898 | New here, huh? | 1.2515 | 0.04021 | 163 | 128 | 29 | 6 |
899 | Does it look like I have a vase? | 1.2515 | 0.04114 | 163 | 129 | 27 | 7 |
900 | I’ve been dying to meet you! | 1.2500 | 0.04326 | 156 | 125 | 23 | 8 |
901 | Do you love me for myself, or for my body? | 1.2500 | 0.03762 | 160 | 123 | 34 | 3 |
902 | No, we haven't met before; I just have one of those corpses. | 1.2484 | 0.04229 | 161 | 129 | 24 | 8 |
903 | I'm feeling so awkward . . . . Nobody told me to come au natural! | 1.2484 | 0.04301 | 157 | 126 | 23 | 8 |
904 | I beat Hillary. | 1.2484 | 0.04377 | 153 | 123 | 22 | 8 |
905 | Hey dude, what did you do to deserve being buried alive?” “Um they said I shouldn’t have helped Trump become president. | 1.2483 | 0.04558 | 149 | 121 | 19 | 9 |
906 | You got buried next to the tree of life too? | 1.2468 | 0.04277 | 158 | 127 | 23 | 8 |
907 | And I thought my last neighbor was annoying... | 1.2468 | 0.03984 | 158 | 124 | 29 | 5 |
908 | They told me I was going undercover | 1.2468 | 0.04084 | 158 | 125 | 27 | 6 |
909 | Keep waving at the staff all you want, pal. The service in this place is lousy. | 1.2468 | 0.04370 | 158 | 128 | 21 | 9 |
910 | Hey, hey, hey. Complaints go in the box over there. | 1.2468 | 0.04551 | 158 | 130 | 17 | 11 |
911 | You’re new here aren’t you? | 1.2468 | 0.04182 | 158 | 126 | 25 | 7 |
912 | I get it, I get it, 'this too shall pass'. | 1.2468 | 0.03882 | 158 | 123 | 31 | 4 |
913 | Been here long? | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
914 | You've obviously been here longer. | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
915 | Are you serious? I asked to be cremated! | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
916 | Sure Carol, you look thin but are you really going to call it the Green-Wood Diet? | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
917 | Hey! Show some spine! | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
918 | I can't get any peace in here. | 1.2468 | 0.04352 | 154 | 124 | 22 | 8 |
919 | Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare the life out of you. | 1.2468 | 0.04152 | 154 | 122 | 26 | 6 |
920 | I heard you the first time, but can you just give the “knock-knock” jokes a rest? | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
921 | Decomposition I get, but why are you naked? | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
922 | Hey, newbie! It's Rest In Peace, not Rant In Perpetuity! | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
923 | What's the rush? | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
924 | I had to get buried next to this bonehead! | 1.2468 | 0.04352 | 154 | 124 | 22 | 8 |
925 | What can I say, I didn't eat organic | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
926 | Rest in peace my ass! | 1.2468 | 0.04152 | 154 | 122 | 26 | 6 |
927 | Just because I said : “The Only Way I’d Marry you is Six feet under” | 1.2468 | 0.04152 | 154 | 122 | 26 | 6 |
928 | Mind if I borrow your jacket as a cushion? The casket's digging into my ilium. | 1.2468 | 0.04049 | 154 | 121 | 28 | 5 |
929 | Stick with me Newbie, I know where all the bodies are buried! | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
930 | You stuck me next to him for the all eternity?! | 1.2468 | 0.04049 | 154 | 121 | 28 | 5 |
931 | Skeletinder, the app for underground dating. Just unload your vitals and wait... forever. | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
932 | How can I possibly rest in peace with Donald Trump still in the White House? | 1.2468 | 0.04543 | 154 | 126 | 18 | 10 |
933 | Wait a minute. Are you trans-skeletal? | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
934 | Enough!! Forget about the friggin’ emails! | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
935 | So...after a huge funeral, beautiful eulogy, lots of people mourning me, now what? Now what? Somebody please...now what? | 1.2468 | 0.04448 | 154 | 125 | 20 | 9 |
936 | Yes, yes, I know you were gluten-free. SEE where it's gotten you? | 1.2468 | 0.04253 | 154 | 123 | 24 | 7 |
937 | I get it, I died a month ago. But, I'd still rather face Death in the eye than continue to watch Trump's antics! | 1.2468 | 0.04049 | 154 | 121 | 28 | 5 |
938 | Down here age is just a number | 1.2468 | 0.04352 | 154 | 124 | 22 | 8 |
939 | Had a suit that looked just like that. And hopes & dreams and a shiny new pair of wingtips. | 1.2466 | 0.04188 | 146 | 115 | 26 | 5 |
940 | I told you for the last time, you're too old for me! | 1.2450 | 0.04092 | 151 | 119 | 27 | 5 |
941 | Hey, buddy, that r.i.p. DOESN'T mean “renegotiate in perpetuity.” Now shut up! | 1.2431 | 0.04324 | 144 | 115 | 23 | 6 |
942 | Best if I just lay here and play dead. | 1.2431 | 0.04093 | 144 | 113 | 27 | 4 |
943 | I really don't care, do you? | 1.2418 | 0.04450 | 153 | 125 | 19 | 9 |
944 | Nah, once your flesh is gone it’s actually pretty roomy. | 1.2418 | 0.04252 | 153 | 123 | 23 | 7 |
945 | Martha, how long has it been? Have you lost weight? | 1.2418 | 0.04150 | 153 | 122 | 25 | 6 |
946 | But they said, " 'Till death do us part?!" | 1.2418 | 0.03595 | 153 | 117 | 35 | 1 |
947 | Apparently, someone is not resting in peace. | 1.2418 | 0.03937 | 153 | 120 | 29 | 4 |
948 | Now I can't even REST in PEACE! | 1.2418 | 0.04045 | 153 | 121 | 27 | 5 |
949 | Look, Yorick, I'm just not in the mood, okay? | 1.2418 | 0.04150 | 153 | 122 | 25 | 6 |
950 | Finally! I've been dying for a neighbor! | 1.2418 | 0.04045 | 153 | 121 | 27 | 5 |
951 | Sorry if you thought this was gonna be all pearly gates and harp music roomie! | 1.2418 | 0.04150 | 153 | 122 | 25 | 6 |
952 | Did I overdress? | 1.2418 | 0.04352 | 153 | 124 | 21 | 8 |
953 | I've always been composed, so I'm taking my time. | 1.2418 | 0.03937 | 153 | 120 | 29 | 4 |
954 | Of course, I can't rest - they called me Trickie? What do they call this bozo? And what the hell is fake news? | 1.2418 | 0.04352 | 153 | 124 | 21 | 8 |
955 | You just don't understand the meaning of the term "Ghosting", do you? | 1.2416 | 0.04431 | 149 | 121 | 20 | 8 |
956 | Don’t worry, I fell for the guaranteed weight loss thing too. | 1.2416 | 0.04113 | 149 | 118 | 26 | 5 |
957 | During life I find out that Santa doesn't exist, now I die and I find out that "til death do us part" was a lie! | 1.2416 | 0.04113 | 149 | 118 | 26 | 5 |
958 | I don't know! All I did is use Trump and Treason in the same sentence??? | 1.2416 | 0.04328 | 149 | 120 | 22 | 7 |
959 | I was helping my son with new math when my head exploded. | 1.2416 | 0.04532 | 149 | 122 | 18 | 9 |
960 | My last neighbor was a real stiff. | 1.2416 | 0.04222 | 149 | 119 | 24 | 6 |
961 | OK, OK, yes I was "Loves2Love" on OKCupid. | 1.2416 | 0.04113 | 149 | 118 | 26 | 5 |
962 | Grateful. You? | 1.2416 | 0.04113 | 149 | 118 | 26 | 5 |
963 | Think of it as nature's way of telling us to slow down. | 1.2416 | 0.03886 | 149 | 116 | 30 | 3 |
964 | You waited! | 1.2416 | 0.04222 | 149 | 119 | 24 | 6 |
965 | Arthur finally realized he didn't actually have the skeleton in the closet. | 1.2416 | 0.04823 | 149 | 125 | 12 | 12 |
966 | I give up. What rhymes with "Just Married"? | 1.2411 | 0.04490 | 141 | 114 | 20 | 7 |
967 | But I only said maybe the Russians did it... | 1.2400 | 0.04302 | 150 | 121 | 22 | 7 |
968 | Hey boss, welcome to the real underworld. | 1.2400 | 0.04505 | 150 | 123 | 18 | 9 |
969 | Hey! I told them NO on the single and mingle cemetery. | 1.2400 | 0.04089 | 150 | 119 | 26 | 5 |
970 | You don't have to remind me. I forgot to give her flowers on our anniversary! | 1.2400 | 0.04405 | 150 | 122 | 20 | 8 |
971 | You were scarier when you were alive. | 1.2400 | 0.04505 | 150 | 123 | 18 | 9 |
972 | All I said was, 'Why don't you try telling the truth?' | 1.2400 | 0.04505 | 150 | 123 | 18 | 9 |
973 | Even in death, Harry could not escape his noisy neighbors. | 1.2400 | 0.04405 | 150 | 122 | 20 | 8 |
974 | No, I don't remember when you used to change my diapers. | 1.2400 | 0.04089 | 150 | 119 | 26 | 5 |
975 | ...as I was saying,... | 1.2400 | 0.04302 | 150 | 121 | 22 | 7 |
976 | Look, I just want to rest in peace. Is that too much to ask? | 1.2400 | 0.04197 | 150 | 120 | 24 | 6 |
977 | Yes, you lost the 50 pounds, but you're still not attractive | 1.2400 | 0.03978 | 150 | 118 | 28 | 4 |
978 | At this stage, I would rather not deflower you. | 1.2400 | 0.04405 | 150 | 122 | 20 | 8 |
979 | But just to say it one time again - and I say it all the time - there was no collusion! | 1.2400 | 0.04505 | 150 | 123 | 18 | 9 |
980 | Can you explain the term versus whole life option again? | 1.2397 | 0.04271 | 146 | 117 | 23 | 6 |
981 | Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'll be here all eternity. | 1.2381 | 0.04663 | 147 | 122 | 15 | 10 |
982 | Freaking first power nap ever! | 1.2381 | 0.04133 | 147 | 117 | 25 | 5 |
983 | Oh, now you finally respond to me. | 1.2366 | 0.04446 | 131 | 105 | 21 | 5 |
984 | WHY AM I ALL DRESSED UP | 1.2365 | 0.03995 | 148 | 117 | 27 | 4 |
985 | I hate family reunions. | 1.2365 | 0.03995 | 148 | 117 | 27 | 4 |
986 | Bob, we don't need to talk about work anymore - we're dead. | 1.2365 | 0.04219 | 148 | 119 | 23 | 6 |
987 | Hey, fresh meat... Wanna bone? | 1.2365 | 0.04219 | 148 | 119 | 23 | 6 |
988 | Come on, look at her. Hair, skin - she's out of your league. | 1.2365 | 0.04108 | 148 | 118 | 25 | 5 |
989 | I’m sure you’re really nice but I just got here and I’m not really ready for a relationship yet. | 1.2365 | 0.03995 | 148 | 117 | 27 | 4 |
990 | Relax buddy. It could be worse. | 1.2365 | 0.04219 | 148 | 119 | 23 | 6 |
991 | You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your neighbors. | 1.2365 | 0.03878 | 148 | 116 | 29 | 3 |
992 | I prefer thinking outside the box. | 1.2365 | 0.04431 | 148 | 121 | 19 | 8 |
993 | OMG....I’m buried next to Ed Sullivan. Hey, Ed. Lookin’ good. | 1.2365 | 0.04219 | 148 | 119 | 23 | 6 |
994 | Yo, dude! What part of ‘rest in peace’ do you not understand? | 1.2365 | 0.04326 | 148 | 120 | 21 | 7 |
995 | I like a man with a little meat on his bones. | 1.2365 | 0.04219 | 148 | 119 | 23 | 6 |
996 | Honey I'm home - traffic was murder! | 1.2365 | 0.03995 | 148 | 117 | 27 | 4 |
997 | All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. | 1.2361 | 0.03940 | 144 | 113 | 28 | 3 |
998 | Ok, fine. I agree you do seem to have senority here. | 1.2361 | 0.04180 | 144 | 115 | 24 | 5 |
999 | Okay Marley, I get it. Let’s go get the turkey. | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1000 | No, I don't have a smoke. And no, I don't want to join your neighborhood association. | 1.2361 | 0.04062 | 144 | 114 | 26 | 4 |
1001 | That’s sweet Susan, but I’m having a lot of trouble with all of this. | 1.2361 | 0.04180 | 144 | 115 | 24 | 5 |
1002 | Hey, newbie. I’m Alex. We’re going to be neighbors for eternity. Isn’t that great? Do you like yacht rock? Tuesdays are taco night. I’m a pescatarian. I see you got the lid off by yourself. I don’t know why they buried me naked. I love cribbage... | 1.2361 | 0.04621 | 144 | 119 | 16 | 9 |
1003 | Not so soon pal, it's the same dream I have before my MRI! | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1004 | Is this Heaven or Hell??? | 1.2361 | 0.04180 | 144 | 115 | 24 | 5 |
1005 | Arguing about politics is what killed me, so please shut up! | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1006 | I'm not nearly as happy to see you as you are to see me. | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1007 | OK, I see you lost a lot of weight. You don't have to gloat. | 1.2361 | 0.03815 | 144 | 112 | 30 | 2 |
1008 | Mandy, no. I'm still your cousin. | 1.2361 | 0.04725 | 144 | 120 | 14 | 10 |
1009 | It’s getting creepy, Gladys.” | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1010 | I told you - I’m not into older women. | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1011 | Sorry, but should I know you? | 1.2361 | 0.04062 | 144 | 114 | 26 | 4 |
1012 | Bad neighbors make good fertilizer. | 1.2361 | 0.04621 | 144 | 119 | 16 | 9 |
1013 | Seriously? $2500 a month for this Williamsburg apartment? | 1.2361 | 0.04515 | 144 | 118 | 18 | 8 |
1014 | Is this how you push up daisies?" "Try one arm, like this" | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1015 | Nag, nag, nag. So I spent a little extra on the suit; it’s not going to kill you. | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1016 | I’m driving, your breaking up. Hang on some idiot in the next lane over is frantically waving at me. Hey what is that a refrigerator? | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1017 | Yeah, I get it. This is the only diet plan that actually works. | 1.2361 | 0.04180 | 144 | 115 | 24 | 5 |
1018 | What do you mean there are no billable hours in the afterlife? | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1019 | I gotta tell ya, I'm not sure if I can live with this whole being dead thing. | 1.2361 | 0.04294 | 144 | 116 | 22 | 6 |
1020 | Try before you buy, they said. | 1.2361 | 0.04180 | 144 | 115 | 24 | 5 |
1021 | You're talking in your sleep again | 1.2361 | 0.04062 | 144 | 114 | 26 | 4 |
1022 | I knew that donut was a bad idea. | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1023 | I'm turning over! | 1.2361 | 0.04062 | 144 | 114 | 26 | 4 |
1024 | Tell me!! Who won the 2015 Super Bowl? | 1.2361 | 0.04406 | 144 | 117 | 20 | 7 |
1025 | Don't try and make me the bad guy for eating right. | 1.2357 | 0.04005 | 140 | 110 | 27 | 3 |
1026 | All I said was she has a nice rack. | 1.2349 | 0.04300 | 149 | 121 | 21 | 7 |
1027 | No, thanks, I'm all flowered up, but how long before the wool suit stops itching? | 1.2349 | 0.04300 | 149 | 121 | 21 | 7 |
1028 | Here to stay, or just dropping by? | 1.2349 | 0.04084 | 149 | 119 | 25 | 5 |
1029 | How did I get stuck with a morning person? | 1.2349 | 0.04193 | 149 | 120 | 23 | 6 |
1030 | No worries, you'll shrink into it. | 1.2345 | 0.04592 | 145 | 120 | 16 | 9 |
1031 | Here. I’m done with these. Oh, and take your time. | 1.2345 | 0.04486 | 145 | 119 | 18 | 8 |
1032 | Just my luck, stuck next to a genial extrovert till the end of time. | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1033 | Welcome! Don’t worry, the dress code relaxes for all of us after awhile. | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1034 | Come here often? What was your "Major"? | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1035 | Oy, I came here to get away from this guy. | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1036 | I decompose slowly ...Many corpses find that sexy. | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1037 | You've gotta be kidding me. Where's my smart phone? And where's the lid to this damn coffin!? | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1038 | Flowers won’t do it. I’v Got a bone to pick with you. | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1039 | The report of my death was highly exaggerated. | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1040 | I was told I'd rest in peace? | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1041 | So this is social networking in the afterlife?! | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1042 | I'd like to add you to my professional network on ExtinctIn! | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1043 | Hello, I've been dying to meet you! | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1044 | Just because you're next to the tree, it doesn't mean she loved you more. | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1045 | What can I say? I asked to be buried next to her. | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1046 | Well this is awkward... I’m not wearing any clothes. | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1047 | I sold Facebook at $19. I sold Facebook at $19. I sold Facebook at $19. I ... | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1048 | Try it for free they said. | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1049 | Until death do you part ,my ass. | 1.2345 | 0.04268 | 145 | 117 | 22 | 6 |
1050 | It's clothing-optional? | 1.2345 | 0.04378 | 145 | 118 | 20 | 7 |
1051 | Great. Another annoying character in my plot line. | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1052 | Too soon! .., I’m not even decomposed yet! | 1.2345 | 0.04154 | 145 | 116 | 24 | 5 |
1053 | Would you just let me rest in peace? | 1.2324 | 0.03827 | 142 | 111 | 29 | 2 |
1054 | Coming or going? | 1.2324 | 0.04318 | 142 | 115 | 21 | 6 |
1055 | Does Resting In Peace cost extra?! | 1.2324 | 0.04432 | 142 | 116 | 19 | 7 |
1056 | Thanks! How did you know that today I would have been 163. | 1.2313 | 0.04215 | 147 | 119 | 22 | 6 |
1057 | Don't worry. It's cramped, but it's rent controlled. | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1058 | Yeah, I see you finally lost the weight but now you look anorexic. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1059 | 'It's New York... You're not supposed to know your neighbors...' | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1060 | Seems like I just know every body | 1.2308 | 0.04514 | 143 | 118 | 17 | 8 |
1061 | I just thought there'd be privacy down here at least. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1062 | Son, son it's me! | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1063 | Long time no see! | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1064 | Who gave this place such a good Yelp review? | 1.2308 | 0.04514 | 143 | 118 | 17 | 8 |
1065 | If you say “this rattles my bones” one more time... | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1066 | Great! I've been stuck in the clothing optional area. | 1.2308 | 0.04622 | 143 | 119 | 15 | 9 |
1067 | Oh, hey. I didn't recognize you. You've lost so much weight... and muscle... and skin... | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1068 | 'Till death do us part' applies to both our deaths, Harold! | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1069 | Mom! Get out of my room! | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1070 | 'Talk about a neighbour from Hell!' | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1071 | Hey there! How'd life treat you? | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1072 | Oh crap, my tomb-mate’s an extrovert. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1073 | So they lied - there's no dress code. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1074 | Like I told the last guy, leave me alone or I have a right to stand my ground. | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1075 | What the hell is SHE doing here? | 1.2308 | 0.04055 | 143 | 114 | 25 | 4 |
1076 | I thought he said 'till death do us part'? | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1077 | Could we please just leave it at ‘till death do us part’? | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1078 | Thanks, but my allergies have been killing me. | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1079 | No, I don't want to hear about your great, great, great, great, great-grandchildren. | 1.2308 | 0.04622 | 143 | 119 | 15 | 9 |
1080 | At last. I'm ready to come out of the closet. | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1081 | Say what you will. That anti-aging cream still works! | 1.2308 | 0.04514 | 143 | 118 | 17 | 8 |
1082 | I hope you don’t feel I’m too fresh! | 1.2308 | 0.04055 | 143 | 114 | 25 | 4 |
1083 | I HATE BLIND DATES. | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1084 | You'll enjoy this neighborhood. It's quiet. | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1085 | Ahh, the one time I'm buried without my headphones! | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1086 | Hi there, I'm not waving, just encouraging the worms to go your way | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1087 | Ma! Yes, you were right. Everybody knows I had clean underwear on. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1088 | Hi im chris hansen with dateline nbc | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1089 | Just because we're neighbors doesn't mean we're friends. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1090 | You"ll eventually get to the bare bones of it all | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1091 | I thought my accountant said I'd be buried in debt, not buried in dirt. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1092 | Styx and stones may break my bones but Trump can never hurt me..... | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1093 | Didn’t we have a ‘till-death-do-we-part’ agreement? | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1094 | I just got out of a relationship, so I'm not looking to jump back into anything. | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1095 | You wanted a tombstone AND a coffin lid? Where do you think you are,The Ritz? | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1096 | I’m trying to rest in peace over here! I got all eternity to hear your life story! | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1097 | Hi! I’m the welcome wagon. | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1098 | Ed knew if he made eye contact, this guy would be talking to him forever. | 1.2308 | 0.04514 | 143 | 118 | 17 | 8 |
1099 | At least someone loves you down here, Donald! | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1100 | Bones, is that you? | 1.2308 | 0.04622 | 143 | 119 | 15 | 9 |
1101 | Sorry, I’m not interested in anyone over 30 | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1102 | How could this happen to me? Don't they know who I am! | 1.2308 | 0.04291 | 143 | 116 | 21 | 6 |
1103 | I can't think outside the box! | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1104 | You'll fit better once you're skeletonized | 1.2308 | 0.04174 | 143 | 115 | 23 | 5 |
1105 | And bone spurs got you out, too? | 1.2308 | 0.04514 | 143 | 118 | 17 | 8 |
1106 | What do you mean, until death do us part? | 1.2308 | 0.03931 | 143 | 113 | 27 | 3 |
1107 | Jesus-effing-Christ...give a guy a chance to decompose. | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1108 | Rest in pieces? | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1109 | I have some bones to pick. | 1.2308 | 0.04404 | 143 | 117 | 19 | 7 |
1110 | Fake news! Rumours of my death are being greatly exaggerated! | 1.2302 | 0.04602 | 139 | 115 | 16 | 8 |
1111 | For this I wasted a good suit ! | 1.2302 | 0.03996 | 139 | 110 | 26 | 3 |
1112 | Wait, I'm not breaking down because I'm a composer, is that what you're saying? | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1113 | Unlike the world above, we pay it forward down here. Welcome. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1114 | Unfriend me. Please! | 1.2302 | 0.03996 | 139 | 110 | 26 | 3 |
1115 | Clatter, Clatter, Clatter. . . Is that all you have to say? | 1.2302 | 0.04249 | 139 | 112 | 22 | 5 |
1116 | New guy! It's over! Put a lid on it! | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1117 | You"re it | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1118 | Here lies Billy Johnson, he was buried next to his ex-"clingy" girlfriend. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1119 | I still have my own teeth too, I'm lookin' on the bright side. | 1.2302 | 0.04488 | 139 | 114 | 18 | 7 |
1120 | It’s killing me: I can’t remember if I closed the gas oven before I left the house. | 1.2302 | 0.04249 | 139 | 112 | 22 | 5 |
1121 | Look buddy, down here nobody cares about the president. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1122 | What part of 'R.I.P.' don't you understand? | 1.2302 | 0.04488 | 139 | 114 | 18 | 7 |
1123 | My eyes may be decomposed but I think you look beautiful tonight. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1124 | This is why I hate the middle plot. | 1.2302 | 0.04249 | 139 | 112 | 22 | 5 |
1125 | No, mom, I don't remember Cindy Curran from the 3rd grade. | 1.2302 | 0.04249 | 139 | 112 | 22 | 5 |
1126 | Think outside the box, they said. Look where that got me. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1127 | I'm still waiting for the white light. | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1128 | What can I say?! You're dead to me! | 1.2302 | 0.04602 | 139 | 115 | 16 | 8 |
1129 | Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda......you newbies are all alike ! | 1.2302 | 0.04125 | 139 | 111 | 24 | 4 |
1130 | Welcome Wagon | 1.2302 | 0.04488 | 139 | 114 | 18 | 7 |
1131 | Next time you should get embalmed! | 1.2302 | 0.04370 | 139 | 113 | 20 | 6 |
1132 | Bob hadn’t realised life after death was a thing! | 1.2296 | 0.04328 | 135 | 109 | 21 | 5 |
1133 | Is that all there is? | 1.2290 | 0.04136 | 131 | 104 | 24 | 3 |
1134 | Hey, I worked myself to death so don't be calling me lazy-bones! | 1.2290 | 0.04275 | 131 | 105 | 22 | 4 |
1135 | Welcome to Schadenfreude! | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1136 | Hey newby, let's see dem bones! | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1137 | THEY TOLD ME I WAS GOING TO HELL! | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1138 | I should've been more concerned it was a Jehovah's Witness cemetery. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1139 | I wouldn't keep complaining about being buried alive if you still looked like you did in your profile. | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1140 | For the love of God Mr Fitzwaller, I am no longer seeing you for psychiatric counseling. | 1.2286 | 0.04098 | 140 | 112 | 24 | 4 |
1141 | Look- I'm sorry I didn't call you back. But now we have all the time in the world to catch up. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1142 | When you die, the skeleton in your closet dies with you | 1.2286 | 0.04572 | 140 | 116 | 16 | 8 |
1143 | Here in New York it means Rent Is Prohibitive. | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1144 | I knew I shouldn't have listened to Siri. | 1.2286 | 0.04098 | 140 | 112 | 24 | 4 |
1145 | "Hey sailor, new in town?" | 1.2286 | 0.04222 | 140 | 113 | 22 | 5 |
1146 | Stop it! Jazz hands creep me out. | 1.2286 | 0.03971 | 140 | 111 | 26 | 3 |
1147 | I don't date older corpses. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1148 | Nope. I didn't bring a vase. | 1.2286 | 0.04572 | 140 | 116 | 16 | 8 |
1149 | For crying out loud, there’s not even room to roll over, let alone resting in peace! | 1.2286 | 0.04222 | 140 | 113 | 22 | 5 |
1150 | Trump's Medicare did this to me." "You'll get used to it; I've been here since Nero. | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1151 | More like, 'rest in pieces'. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1152 | Is that a welcome or a farewell? | 1.2286 | 0.04222 | 140 | 113 | 22 | 5 |
1153 | Morris, your instructions were, "do not resuscitate " | 1.2286 | 0.04572 | 140 | 116 | 16 | 8 |
1154 | We’ve done the til death do us part thing—I want an exhumation. | 1.2286 | 0.04683 | 140 | 117 | 14 | 9 |
1155 | This better not be heaven. | 1.2286 | 0.04098 | 140 | 112 | 24 | 4 |
1156 | Hey! Yeah, over here, can you keep it down? You could wake the dead! | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1157 | No thanks. I'm allergic. | 1.2286 | 0.04098 | 140 | 112 | 24 | 4 |
1158 | No one was listening then and no one is listening now. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1159 | Hey Honey, I told you I'd wait. | 1.2286 | 0.04342 | 140 | 114 | 20 | 6 |
1160 | 'What could go wrong?' Right? | 1.2286 | 0.04459 | 140 | 115 | 18 | 7 |
1161 | Well, hell - so much for purgatory. | 1.2286 | 0.03839 | 140 | 110 | 28 | 2 |
1162 | What part of RIP do you not understand? | 1.2286 | 0.04098 | 140 | 112 | 24 | 4 |
1163 | Well, yeah, I saw your tombstone, but I thought it might be a different Ned Ryerson. | 1.2256 | 0.04351 | 133 | 108 | 20 | 5 |
1164 | No, I don't want to be your friend on Deadbook! | 1.2256 | 0.04480 | 133 | 109 | 18 | 6 |
1165 | I dont know, I just got here. | 1.2256 | 0.04351 | 133 | 108 | 20 | 5 |
1166 | Still, I get no respect! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1167 | Men's warehouse | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1168 | Why did I agree to work with a skeleton staff? | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1169 | What the hell is going on up there? | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1170 | It's polyester. Never wrinkles either | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1171 | The Curse of the Undead Mansplainer. | 1.2246 | 0.03986 | 138 | 110 | 25 | 3 |
1172 | You're going to have to do better than flowers to jump my bones | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1173 | Hey man! Just remember that good coffins make good neighbors. And we'll get along fine. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1174 | I said I'd be your friend if its the last thing I do! | 1.2246 | 0.03986 | 138 | 110 | 25 | 3 |
1175 | Look... I just got here and I'm not ready for that kind of intimacy. Plus you're old enough to be my Great-Great-Great Grandmother | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1176 | How am I supposed to know how many fingers you're holding up? | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1177 | I was sure they'd make an exception this time. | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1178 | At least you were spared the autopsy | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1179 | If I'd known about the preservatives, I wouldn't have eaten all that McDonald's. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1180 | Welcome and congratulations, this is a very exclusive cemetery, people are just DYING to get in... too soon? | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1181 | Hey, lady, I'm just not into older women. | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1182 | I was counting on death parting us. | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1183 | I'm killing them down here. Did you here the one about...? | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1184 | I told you that suit was to die for. | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1185 | I tell my kids, 'I wish I could see your mother once more'. So they bury me alive. I don't get no respect! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1186 | I told you- good drainage and no piranha! | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1187 | Can't talk now. I'm underground. | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1188 | He knows I'm not dead, right? | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1189 | Hey Does anybody else think these rooms smell musty? | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1190 | For gods sake, Morris. Enough about your crooked accountant! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1191 | Don't blame me, I didn't vote for him. | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1192 | I did not cancel "Six Feet Under"................ | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1193 | Honey, please, it’s until death do us part! | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1194 | The family plot, no getting away from Mom. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1195 | Okay, now what? | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1196 | Feel the city shakin and everybody’s quakin’ and we’re stayin’ alive! Staying alive! Ah! Ah! Ah’ Ah! Staying aliiiive! | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1197 | Ugh. Not you! | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1198 | How did Becky from office supplies get into the supervisor graveyard? It's like I worked all those years for nothing. | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1199 | She said close your eyes and make a wish. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1200 | Now stop singing "You don't send me flowers anymore!" | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1201 | Hi! Nice suit. You must be new here. | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1202 | I see dead people. | 1.2246 | 0.04485 | 138 | 114 | 17 | 7 |
1203 | I know, I know. In sickness and in health! | 1.2246 | 0.03986 | 138 | 110 | 25 | 3 |
1204 | Please, Mom, I'm gonna die of embarassment! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1205 | Hi there John, you never replied to my email. | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1206 | How am I supposed to rest in peace down here?!? | 1.2246 | 0.04602 | 138 | 115 | 15 | 8 |
1207 | Sure..you CLAIM you're a blonde! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1208 | Oh, great! Eternity with an Amway guy! | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1209 | Well, sorry! How could I have known Trump was a liar? | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1210 | Hopefully check in is faster than check out. | 1.2246 | 0.04602 | 138 | 115 | 15 | 8 |
1211 | Trump pleases most Americans as he pulls ahead in his race to hell. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1212 | You're a little stiff and formal now . . . even cold. That's fine. I've got an eternity. | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1213 | Hi! I'm Louis, your eternal neighbor! | 1.2246 | 0.04366 | 138 | 113 | 19 | 6 |
1214 | Can you accept love from a gender-neutral skeleton, you hunk?! | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1215 | At least it’s roomier than my apartment. | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1216 | I can overlook a lot . . .but plastic flowers? | 1.2246 | 0.04602 | 138 | 115 | 15 | 8 |
1217 | Ask about our carbon recycling plan! | 1.2246 | 0.04243 | 138 | 112 | 21 | 5 |
1218 | Danced on the wrong grave, pal | 1.2246 | 0.04116 | 138 | 111 | 23 | 4 |
1219 | The room is small, but rent is dirt cheap! | 1.2239 | 0.04449 | 134 | 110 | 18 | 6 |
1220 | Really? NOW? | 1.2239 | 0.03913 | 134 | 106 | 26 | 2 |
1221 | I'm so over this dead-end job. | 1.2239 | 0.03913 | 134 | 106 | 26 | 2 |
1222 | So you saved on the co-pay; big deal. | 1.2239 | 0.04449 | 134 | 110 | 18 | 6 |
1223 | Don't even go there, Vladimir. Our bromance was over after the midterm elections. | 1.2239 | 0.04574 | 134 | 111 | 16 | 7 |
1224 | Another noisy neighbor! - and loud enough to wake the dead. | 1.2239 | 0.04574 | 134 | 111 | 16 | 7 |
1225 | Welcome to the underground! | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1226 | Yes, honey. I can tell you’ve lost weight. | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1227 | Why they put me in the nudist section?” | 1.2239 | 0.04574 | 134 | 111 | 16 | 7 |
1228 | Sometimes deleting Tinder off your phone isn't sufficient. | 1.2239 | 0.04190 | 134 | 108 | 22 | 4 |
1229 | And I thought being alive was tough... | 1.2239 | 0.04190 | 134 | 108 | 22 | 4 |
1230 | Neglecting to clean out that closet is going to haunt me. | 1.2239 | 0.04813 | 134 | 113 | 12 | 9 |
1231 | Sorry, I don't smoke | 1.2239 | 0.04449 | 134 | 110 | 18 | 6 |
1232 | This is not the cruise I booked! | 1.2239 | 0.03913 | 134 | 106 | 26 | 2 |
1233 | Hi, Jimmy. It's Dad. I was worried that you might not recognize me after all these years. | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1234 | Can a body rest in peace or what? | 1.2239 | 0.04190 | 134 | 108 | 22 | 4 |
1235 | Keeping up with the Boneses | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1236 | Who knew we had to pay for extra leg room? | 1.2239 | 0.04190 | 134 | 108 | 22 | 4 |
1237 | Can I get a little 'R.I.P. and Quiet' here? | 1.2239 | 0.04054 | 134 | 107 | 24 | 3 |
1238 | So I'm new to the neighborhood... | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1239 | Hi, they call me Rip | 1.2239 | 0.04574 | 134 | 111 | 16 | 7 |
1240 | Surprisingly I'm not dying to meet you! | 1.2239 | 0.04190 | 134 | 108 | 22 | 4 |
1241 | Honey, just give me a minute to decompose. | 1.2239 | 0.04322 | 134 | 109 | 20 | 5 |
1242 | Dead Sullivan | 1.2231 | 0.04619 | 121 | 99 | 17 | 5 |
1243 | Near death experience | 1.2230 | 0.04215 | 139 | 113 | 21 | 5 |
1244 | Okay, we can do dinner. Your coffin or mine? | 1.2230 | 0.04215 | 139 | 113 | 21 | 5 |
1245 | Leave me alone, honey! Our vows said 'til death. | 1.2230 | 0.04215 | 139 | 113 | 21 | 5 |
1246 | Thought Bubble . . . "It was so peaceful after she died." | 1.2230 | 0.04215 | 139 | 113 | 21 | 5 |
1247 | What? You get me dressed up with nowhere to go! | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1248 | I'm sorry, but our time is up Let's pick up on this next week | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1249 | Till death do us part" means just that | 1.2230 | 0.03826 | 139 | 110 | 27 | 2 |
1250 | Quit calling me "Lazy Bones!" | 1.2230 | 0.04456 | 139 | 115 | 17 | 7 |
1251 | Listen! I'm just here for a rest. Nothing permanent. | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1252 | Thought I finally found my safe space. Then my ex-wife shows up. | 1.2230 | 0.03960 | 139 | 111 | 25 | 3 |
1253 | This is getting old. | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1254 | Well, at least its rent-controlled. | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1255 | I’m the healthiest man you’ll ever meet, trust me | 1.2230 | 0.04456 | 139 | 115 | 17 | 7 |
1256 | My obit notice distinctly said no flowers! | 1.2230 | 0.04794 | 139 | 118 | 11 | 10 |
1257 | I thought I left all of my skeletons in the closet!!!! | 1.2230 | 0.04337 | 139 | 114 | 19 | 6 |
1258 | Alright! I heard you! Her emails | 1.2230 | 0.04456 | 139 | 115 | 17 | 7 |
1259 | Anybody think my speeches run too long? | 1.2222 | 0.04293 | 135 | 110 | 20 | 5 |
1260 | Why are you asking me,I just got here! | 1.2222 | 0.04543 | 135 | 112 | 16 | 7 |
1261 | ‘Till death do us part’ was unfortunately not the case for Betty. | 1.2222 | 0.04780 | 135 | 114 | 12 | 9 |
1262 | As my financial advisor, I trusted you! | 1.2214 | 0.04374 | 131 | 107 | 19 | 5 |
1263 | You're here to decompose, not decompress. | 1.2214 | 0.04238 | 131 | 106 | 21 | 4 |
1264 | What did you mean when you told me you couldn't go on living without me? | 1.2212 | 0.04306 | 113 | 90 | 21 | 2 |
1265 | I wasn't snoring so they thought I was dead! Can anyone hear me? | 1.2197 | 0.04209 | 132 | 107 | 21 | 4 |
1266 | As my decorator used to say, flowers enliven any dead spaces. | 1.2197 | 0.04209 | 132 | 107 | 21 | 4 |
1267 | I'll never get rid of the IRS!!! | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1268 | Heigh ho, big fella. Come here often? | 1.2197 | 0.04602 | 132 | 110 | 15 | 7 |
1269 | Don't they have a dress code? | 1.2197 | 0.04209 | 132 | 107 | 21 | 4 |
1270 | Swipe left | 1.2197 | 0.04602 | 132 | 110 | 15 | 7 |
1271 | I was told to dress for the after life. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1272 | It's not you, it's me. I donated my heart for a transplant. | 1.2197 | 0.04344 | 132 | 108 | 19 | 5 |
1273 | Sorry I already gave someone my heart. That's why I'm here! | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1274 | Welcome to the neighborhood. It may take some time for you to fit in. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1275 | Rest in Peace? I don't think so. | 1.2197 | 0.04209 | 132 | 107 | 21 | 4 |
1276 | Oh well, finding love late is better than never. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1277 | Hi, my names Adolf, I've been waiting for you to arrive | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1278 | You'll feel better once you get that suit off. | 1.2197 | 0.04344 | 132 | 108 | 19 | 5 |
1279 | Hey, Newbie! Keep it down in there! The dead tell no tales! | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1280 | My slow metabolism is a curse, I tell ya. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1281 | Just when I thought I'd FINALLY get some peace. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1282 | Does it ever end. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1283 | Can’t a guy get some peace down here? | 1.2197 | 0.03924 | 132 | 105 | 25 | 2 |
1284 | I kind of just got here and you’re regifting me with my own flowers? | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1285 | If this were a joke it would be too soon! | 1.2197 | 0.04344 | 132 | 108 | 19 | 5 |
1286 | No collusion! | 1.2197 | 0.04602 | 132 | 110 | 15 | 7 |
1287 | No Gloria! Too little; too late. | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1288 | Been waiting long? | 1.2197 | 0.04475 | 132 | 109 | 17 | 6 |
1289 | Arrghhh! I thought our marriage was until "death do us part"? | 1.2197 | 0.04069 | 132 | 106 | 23 | 3 |
1290 | There must be some misunderstanding. Doesn't until death do us part mean that we are to be apart after death? | 1.2197 | 0.04069 | 132 | 106 | 23 | 3 |
1291 | Get ready — the Danse Macabre starts in five minutes! | 1.2197 | 0.03774 | 132 | 104 | 27 | 1 |
1292 | I can see you are new here | 1.2197 | 0.04209 | 132 | 107 | 21 | 4 |
1293 | I'm looking for a younger woman. | 1.2197 | 0.04602 | 132 | 110 | 15 | 7 |
1294 | No, I can't come out and play. | 1.2197 | 0.04069 | 132 | 106 | 23 | 3 |
1295 | Hey you! I am gonna kill myself if I have to listen to that Nixon impression for the rest of eternity. | 1.2197 | 0.04344 | 132 | 108 | 19 | 5 |
1296 | Sorry, not really into nudism | 1.2197 | 0.04847 | 132 | 112 | 11 | 9 |
1297 | I'm feeling a bit overdressed. | 1.2188 | 0.04141 | 128 | 103 | 22 | 3 |
1298 | What is this, a Tim Burton film? | 1.2188 | 0.04428 | 128 | 105 | 18 | 5 |
1299 | Hey, uh...I'm required to tell you that I am a registered coffin offender. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1300 | Welcome, we don’t get a lot of new comers anymore with cremation all the rage. So tell me who is president. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1301 | You look great, but I’d rather kill myself again than join your Low Carb Club. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1302 | I told them I wanted a closed casket | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1303 | Good lord! What happened to "til death do us part?" | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1304 | Ha ha ha ha ha...a...a...a...and then...and then...stay with me now...and then a priest, a rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar...ho ho ho, the punchline will kill you... | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1305 | Everything else I can deal with, but my real estate agent promised quiet neigbors. | 1.2180 | 0.03898 | 133 | 106 | 25 | 2 |
1306 | It's why I like timeshare rentals -- the neighbors are temporary. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1307 | Why have I been buried in the Van Winkle family cemetery? | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1308 | Who knew a bag of peanut M&Ms, three shots of tequila, two beers, and a Percocet was mortal? | 1.2180 | 0.03898 | 133 | 106 | 25 | 2 |
1309 | Ya, Ya mom, you did warn me. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1310 | Frankiiieee! Over here! Oh, just wait 'til the girls hear about this! | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1311 | It's too late for that now. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1312 | Well, at least it's in Manhattan... | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1313 | well hello there.welcome to the neighborhood. | 1.2180 | 0.04042 | 133 | 107 | 23 | 3 |
1314 | I'm Roger. Can you believe this? I mean, really | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1315 | Just my luck, eternity next to this guy. | 1.2180 | 0.03898 | 133 | 106 | 25 | 2 |
1316 | So I say, Nothing is certain" "I hear 'ya, Death and Taxes wait for no man, yeah? | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1317 | Buddy, PLEASE, just Rest In Peace. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1318 | Ehh, you're not really my type, I'm looking for someone with a bit more substance. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1319 | Enough with the mansplaining. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1320 | You're lucky to have gotten that space. People are just dying to get in here. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1321 | What is it about RIP that you don't understand? | 1.2180 | 0.03749 | 133 | 105 | 27 | 1 |
1322 | I’m not looking for date, I just got single.. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1323 | Hey buddy, I just came for a fitting. | 1.2180 | 0.04042 | 133 | 107 | 23 | 3 |
1324 | How do you lose weight, then keep it off?” | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1325 | You mean to tell me that DEATH is not FATAL! | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1326 | Just give it some time and you'll fit right in. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1327 | I still have to make small talk!? | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1328 | I thought you guys took August off. | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1329 | How come there's never a shrink around when you really need one? | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1330 | Ludwig the composer, and Clarence the decomposer. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1331 | Sorry, I don't dig it. | 1.2180 | 0.03749 | 133 | 105 | 27 | 1 |
1332 | It will get better... | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1333 | this conversation is dead serious! | 1.2180 | 0.04042 | 133 | 107 | 23 | 3 |
1334 | I know it's tight, but after a few years you'll have much more room. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1335 | Wouldn't you know it, Mort, we're neighbors again! | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1336 | Nuthin, there’s nuthin new , I tell ya. | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1337 | Till death due us part? | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1338 | I should never have joined that secret society. | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1339 | The motto is ‘rest in peace’ but we’re really quite a sociable group. You’ll see. | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1340 | Nancy Pelosi still 'leading' the Democrats?" | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1341 | Oh great. Another game of charades. | 1.2180 | 0.04694 | 133 | 112 | 13 | 8 |
1342 | Ugh! Why didn't they spring for the lid option? | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1343 | Till death do us part, now please may I RIP | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1344 | Ooh, hello. It's been a long time since I've seen a man. | 1.2180 | 0.04694 | 133 | 112 | 13 | 8 |
1345 | Lucky me, my new neighbor, Chatty Kathy.... | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1346 | Maxine, I tell you for the twentieth time...Yes we got adjoining graves, but I am not and never will join you in a rousing chorus of "I've got you under my skin." | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1347 | Dammit! This wasn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be boss of the underworld. | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1348 | Welcome to the WWWhhhhhhaaaaatttttttt?????? | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1349 | Try the new Atrophy Diet," she said. Who else thought that would be a good idea | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1350 | Ya know, this sucks bigly. | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1351 | Somehow I always sit next to a chatty Kathy | 1.2180 | 0.04314 | 133 | 109 | 19 | 5 |
1352 | Hey, good timing! We're welcoming newbies Friday night at the mausoleum" | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1353 | Stop it Rodney! You’re still killing me! | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1354 | Why do I have to wear a suit when the other guy gets to be naked? | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1355 | Welcome to the 'hood! | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1356 | Hi there! Looking good - so far. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1357 | Till death do us part", they said.. | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1358 | I thought it was "Til Death Do You Part"...I never signed up for this | 1.2180 | 0.04042 | 133 | 107 | 23 | 3 |
1359 | Hi neighbor. Their called tiny houses now! | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1360 | I tell ya, I get no respect, there I was minding my own business ... | 1.2180 | 0.04042 | 133 | 107 | 23 | 3 |
1361 | Now she says, "Yes!" | 1.2180 | 0.04180 | 133 | 108 | 21 | 4 |
1362 | Hey. Anyone here from out of town? | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1363 | Is this all there is? Is there no more to life than this? Ooh! Ooh! Ask me! Ask me! I know!!! | 1.2180 | 0.04571 | 133 | 111 | 15 | 7 |
1364 | This is what happens when you marry a cougar and don't read the pre-nup! | 1.2180 | 0.04694 | 133 | 112 | 13 | 8 |
1365 | You must be new here. | 1.2180 | 0.04444 | 133 | 110 | 17 | 6 |
1366 | New to these parts? | 1.2171 | 0.04533 | 129 | 107 | 16 | 6 |
1367 | I can't smell the roses. | 1.2171 | 0.03962 | 129 | 103 | 24 | 2 |
1368 | Enough already, Bernie. Your fifty minutes was up over thirty years ago. | 1.2171 | 0.04397 | 129 | 106 | 18 | 5 |
1369 | I think it was all the GMO. | 1.2171 | 0.04397 | 129 | 106 | 18 | 5 |
1370 | Seems just like yesterday I was the new guy on the row. | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1371 | I DID tell you to drop dead. Still.....No. | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1372 | I told you I was buried in a dead end job. | 1.2171 | 0.04664 | 129 | 108 | 14 | 7 |
1373 | Stop already! That “come hither” look is what got me here in the first place! | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1374 | All this because I forgot to ask "May I?" | 1.2171 | 0.04112 | 129 | 104 | 22 | 3 |
1375 | Hi, there! I'm guessing you didn't go gentle into that good night. They've got a therapist down here that can help you work on your anger management issues. | 1.2171 | 0.04533 | 129 | 107 | 16 | 6 |
1376 | Couldn't you have placed me next to someone with less energy? | 1.2171 | 0.04792 | 129 | 109 | 12 | 8 |
1377 | Hi, looks like you are new here. You got to take it lying down. | 1.2171 | 0.04397 | 129 | 106 | 18 | 5 |
1378 | Welcome, neighbor! The last guy was exhumed a century ago and never returned. I've been really lonely. Any inkling that might happen to you, 'cus I'd hate to get too friendly? | 1.2171 | 0.04533 | 129 | 107 | 16 | 6 |
1379 | Can we please skip the "welcome to the neighborhood" routine. | 1.2171 | 0.04533 | 129 | 107 | 16 | 6 |
1380 | Yo, over here...stop whining, I’m the one who got the polonium” | 1.2171 | 0.04792 | 129 | 109 | 12 | 8 |
1381 | Hi Babe! I see you went with the cheaper coffin after all. Don't worry, you'll have more shoulder room after a month. | 1.2171 | 0.04397 | 129 | 106 | 18 | 5 |
1382 | What the hell am I gonna put 'em in? | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1383 | I don't recognize your face but your breath is familiar. | 1.2171 | 0.04533 | 129 | 107 | 16 | 6 |
1384 | Few analysts are this dedicated. | 1.2171 | 0.04397 | 129 | 106 | 18 | 5 |
1385 | Welcome! You've obviously come dressed for a formal occasion. | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1386 | I should have been cremated an avoided these post modern dating rituals | 1.2171 | 0.04257 | 129 | 105 | 20 | 4 |
1387 | You're supposed to be pushing them up! | 1.2171 | 0.03806 | 129 | 102 | 26 | 1 |
1388 | You're the new guy? Welcome to the neighborhood! | 1.2154 | 0.04227 | 130 | 106 | 20 | 4 |
1389 | Relax! I'm not ready. But—I bet you knocked them dead—when you had skin. | 1.2154 | 0.04501 | 130 | 108 | 16 | 6 |
1390 | I hate these people who are always telling me to have a nice day. | 1.2154 | 0.04366 | 130 | 107 | 18 | 5 |
1391 | This is why I hate blind dates. | 1.2154 | 0.04366 | 130 | 107 | 18 | 5 |
1392 | Okay, so I did wish for more "grassroots support" from that voodoo woman in the New Orleans constituency..... | 1.2154 | 0.04501 | 130 | 108 | 16 | 6 |
1393 | Well this is just great. | 1.2149 | 0.04424 | 121 | 99 | 18 | 4 |
1394 | Traffic. | 1.2149 | 0.04424 | 121 | 99 | 18 | 4 |
1395 | Welcome to the neighborhood you're going to love how peaceful and quite it is! | 1.2126 | 0.03813 | 127 | 101 | 25 | 1 |
1396 | This is not a wave "hello"; this a signal for you to shut up and let me Rest In Peace. | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1397 | It was just a soft-tissue injury. There's nothing wrong with MY bones. | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1398 | Do you still want to talk to me about reverse mortgages? | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1399 | And that 'Talk to the hand' come-back is so passé. | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1400 | You're six feet under, no bones about it, must still pay taxes. | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1401 | The reason they buried you alive Mr. Tarantino is because you won’t shut up! | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1402 | Oh Lord! It's going to be hell in this suit. | 1.2126 | 0.03973 | 127 | 102 | 23 | 2 |
1403 | I thought I would finally have some peace and quiet. | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1404 | Sarte was right, “He’ll is other people.” | 1.2126 | 0.04127 | 127 | 103 | 21 | 3 |
1405 | You're making me feel lousy about knocking you off for the insurance. | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1406 | You new guys always show up overdressed! | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1407 | What's new? You don't want to know! | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1408 | Hey, will you pipe down? I’m trying to get some sleep. | 1.2126 | 0.04127 | 127 | 103 | 21 | 3 |
1409 | My coffin is too small, my neighbor keeps knocking and I requested a root view. Rest in peace? | 1.2126 | 0.03973 | 127 | 102 | 23 | 2 |
1410 | I didn't expect Welcome Wagon down here. | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1411 | What is it that you still don’t understand about rest in PEACE? | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1412 | BTW wi-fi is horrible down here. | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1413 | You're making it really hard for me to act based solely on sex and skin color down here! | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1414 | STFU! Don't you know what 'R.I.P.' means?! | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1415 | I may have lost the plot. | 1.2126 | 0.04127 | 127 | 103 | 21 | 3 |
1416 | I thought the daisies were included!" | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1417 | What can I say, peaceful cheap room and board? | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1418 | Don't worry. The ants only tickle, but the worms will make you sneeze. | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1419 | No way I'm spending eternity next to a freaking nudist! | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1420 | You think you've got it bad? My kids are using my twitter account to apologize for my previous tweets! | 1.2126 | 0.03973 | 127 | 102 | 23 | 2 |
1421 | I said I wanted a quieter office. | 1.2126 | 0.04420 | 127 | 105 | 17 | 5 |
1422 | Hey, did you see what Stephen Colbert did to your theater? | 1.2126 | 0.03973 | 127 | 102 | 23 | 2 |
1423 | Yes. OK, fine. If there is a zombie apocalypse, we can be brain buddies. | 1.2126 | 0.04276 | 127 | 104 | 19 | 4 |
1424 | All my life they said I looked great for my age. Lot of good it did me. | 1.2126 | 0.04127 | 127 | 103 | 21 | 3 |
1425 | I take it back! My wife would be preferable to a car salesman! | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1426 | I don't think I'm quite ready for another dating service. | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1427 | "Maybe if I roll over she'll get the message that it's time to rest in peace. | 1.2126 | 0.04127 | 127 | 103 | 21 | 3 |
1428 | It was cheaper than buying a bomb shelter. | 1.2126 | 0.04559 | 127 | 106 | 15 | 6 |
1429 | Fox New s Host: all i said was Trump should tone down the rhetoric and they freakin buried me! | 1.2126 | 0.04694 | 127 | 107 | 13 | 7 |
1430 | And so I say to her 'Fine, if chivalry is dead, then so am I'. | 1.2114 | 0.04509 | 123 | 102 | 16 | 5 |
1431 | I'm afraid our time is up. | 1.2109 | 0.04660 | 128 | 108 | 13 | 7 |
1432 | Oh, God. It's Arthur, my insurance salesman. | 1.2109 | 0.04526 | 128 | 107 | 15 | 6 |
1433 | At least we're insulated from all the 'fake news'. | 1.2109 | 0.04388 | 128 | 106 | 17 | 5 |
1434 | I’m dead, right? I ‘m friggin’ DEAD, I don’t got a bleepin’ penny to my name, and this guy is busting my balls about some river cruise! | 1.2109 | 0.04526 | 128 | 107 | 15 | 6 |
1435 | Calm down. Your suit will fit better soon. | 1.2109 | 0.03945 | 128 | 103 | 23 | 2 |
1436 | Thought it was over. | 1.2109 | 0.04246 | 128 | 105 | 19 | 4 |
1437 | Don't tell me what the Founding Fathers would have done; I was one of them! | 1.2109 | 0.04660 | 128 | 108 | 13 | 7 |
1438 | Yes, I was the CEO of a Botox company, you don’t have to rub it in | 1.2109 | 0.03945 | 128 | 103 | 23 | 2 |
1439 | I appreciate the hospitality, but I really don't see myself fitting in here... | 1.2109 | 0.04098 | 128 | 104 | 21 | 3 |
1440 | Clothes may make the man but we are still dead | 1.2109 | 0.04246 | 128 | 105 | 19 | 4 |
1441 | Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily, life is but a dream. | 1.2109 | 0.04388 | 128 | 106 | 17 | 5 |
1442 | And here I thought I could look forward to ‘resting in peace’. | 1.2109 | 0.03945 | 128 | 103 | 23 | 2 |
1443 | Diet or no diet we all end up in the same place. | 1.2109 | 0.04098 | 128 | 104 | 21 | 3 |
1444 | But, I was a vegan and wore Armani suits. | 1.2109 | 0.04098 | 128 | 104 | 21 | 3 |
1445 | So I take it, there's no buffet! | 1.2109 | 0.04388 | 128 | 106 | 17 | 5 |
1446 | Think Grateful Dead music, my favorite is “A touch of grey”. Flowers? | 1.2109 | 0.04246 | 128 | 105 | 19 | 4 |
1447 | This is not the rent control apartment my parents left me! | 1.2109 | 0.04246 | 128 | 105 | 19 | 4 |
1448 | I’m what you’re going to look like in 20 years! | 1.2109 | 0.04098 | 128 | 104 | 21 | 3 |
1449 | You think you're bored now, wait about a hundred years. | 1.2109 | 0.04388 | 128 | 106 | 17 | 5 |
1450 | Quit your waving already, can’t you see I’m trying to Rest In Peace? | 1.2109 | 0.04388 | 128 | 106 | 17 | 5 |
1451 | Down here you can "lie" all the time and no one will care! | 1.2109 | 0.04526 | 128 | 107 | 15 | 6 |
1452 | Hope you don't snore. | 1.2109 | 0.04246 | 128 | 105 | 19 | 4 |
1453 | You seem to take a bare bones approach to courting. | 1.2109 | 0.03945 | 128 | 103 | 23 | 2 |
1454 | I thought the least I would get would be a welcome basket. | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1455 | Yeah, but I don't want to lose as much weight as you; you're positively skeletal. | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1456 | Hey! Gimmy some skin! | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1457 | I keep getting this haunting feeling that I knew you in a previous life | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1458 | I hope that this is only a dream | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1459 | All I asked of the store clerk was, could she offer me an affordable layaway plan? | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1460 | I accepted your friend request. That's as far as it goes. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1461 | Can't I just rest in peace? | 1.2097 | 0.04012 | 124 | 100 | 22 | 2 |
1462 | I said I was buried in work. I didn't mean it literaly! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1463 | I’m sorry I’d rather we try and meet other people | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1464 | Just my luck...buried with a friendly nudist! | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1465 | I TOLD you it's a bare bones operation!!! | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1466 | Democracy has been Trumped And buried alive | 1.2097 | 0.04759 | 124 | 105 | 12 | 7 |
1467 | +"Wednesday's are for ribs at Marty's." | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1468 | You can't pick your family! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1469 | Hey there, I've got a skeleton key you can borrow. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1470 | The early bird gets the tree. | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1471 | One needs time to adjust | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1472 | Has anyone ever told you that your knock knock jokes are getting old? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1473 | So what’s new up top. Is Trump still running things? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1474 | Don’t ask. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1475 | Mismatch- I'm antisocial and died from osteoporosis. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1476 | What!?! No final eternal rest? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1477 | Can anybody tell me what the heck is going on? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1478 | Thanks, but right now I need a little more time to not be me. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1479 | Again I'm sorry! I thought you liked tulips! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1480 | Thanks, Zillow | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1481 | Just what are you so cheery about? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1482 | No, I'm not a Deadhead | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1483 | Once a necrophiliac, always a necrophiliac... | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1484 | Welcome. You must be new here. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1485 | Oh God ,can I ever get away from her? | 1.2097 | 0.04012 | 124 | 100 | 22 | 2 |
1486 | Hi, remember me? You shot me in '02 | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1487 | ...And they had told me romance was dead! | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1488 | Being a celebrity is tough...even down here they won’t leave you alone! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1489 | Enough with the 'thinking outside of the box." | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1490 | Could you keep it down over there, I'm trying to sleep! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1491 | Okay, okay, let me settle in a bit and then we'll 'do lunch.' | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1492 | Hey, don't blame me, I told the funeral parlor you were allergic to those damn flowers! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1493 | Hi! Can I join you? The tree is crowding me out... Oh wait you are ALIVE! | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1494 | No, you may NOT have the name of my tailor. | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1495 | Wave all you want but I am bone tired. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1496 | I thought we were going business casual. | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1497 | I'm not into cougars | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1498 | Where have all MY flowers gone, long time passing? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1499 | I said I'd even follow you to the grave, not that I'd also be roommates. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1500 | No! That's not how you play dead! You got a long way to go.... | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1501 | And here I thought my last neighbor was annoying... | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1502 | Stop! Look at you, you're skin and bones! | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1503 | Serenity now? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1504 | But who even knows all the lyrics to "Dem Bones" anyway? | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1505 | Welcome!! Did you bring snacks?? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1506 | Wanna bone down here? It's a bit lonely down here. | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1507 | Ah jeez, I should have paid attention to all those theology nerds who told me that the immediate ascension of the soul to Heaven at the moment of death is a misconception and we have to wait for bodily resurrection at the end of time, jeez. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1508 | So glad to be here tonight, such a lively audience. Anybody else here dead? Ah yes, you sir, in the coffin there - where are you from? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1509 | Enough with the lawyer jokes already! | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1510 | I specifically requested not to be in nudist cemetery. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1511 | I understand neither why I have been buried alive nor why a skeleton is waving at me! | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1512 | It’s grandpa...what do you mean you don’t recognize me? | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1513 | It won't be so warm in here after you lose a few pounds. | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1514 | I'm pretty sure it says ' Rest In PEACE'! | 1.2097 | 0.04012 | 124 | 100 | 22 | 2 |
1515 | Meredith, I only married you for the money | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1516 | Sorry, I’m new to this. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1517 | Who Knew? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1518 | Oy vey, my best suit, no cash and the Halloween dude, Mama-a-a!! | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1519 | Beats Tinder. | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1520 | I told that damn undertaker to go light on the embalming fluid. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1521 | Okay, okay, I gave you those diet pills but that's a thin excuse to take revenge | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1522 | What me worry? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1523 | Are you on NextDoor? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1524 | We've been over this before, coffin lids are for suckers. | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1525 | you must be the new one | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1526 | Ugh. Suburban neighbors ... | 1.2097 | 0.04759 | 124 | 105 | 12 | 7 |
1527 | For the boat ride to Paradise I have to listen to jokes and be entertained by Dead Skeleton? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1528 | I did not know that death was clothes optional. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1529 | Hi, I'm your afterlife neighbor Cedric. I was a CPA for fifty years - boy do I have some stories for you. | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1530 | I have no idea where the Bardo is | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1531 | At least buy me dinner before trying to bone me! | 1.2097 | 0.04620 | 124 | 104 | 14 | 6 |
1532 | Do you have any idea of who I was? | 1.2097 | 0.04326 | 124 | 102 | 18 | 4 |
1533 | Can you give me a minute, I just got here... | 1.2097 | 0.04172 | 124 | 101 | 20 | 3 |
1534 | Could I BE any more dead? | 1.2097 | 0.04475 | 124 | 103 | 16 | 5 |
1535 | Proud American: " Hey Donald...remember me?" | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1536 | Cut it out! You don't scare me anymore. | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1537 | What kind of a diet do they put you on in this crazy place? | 1.2080 | 0.04586 | 125 | 105 | 14 | 6 |
1538 | I should have never signed that prefuneral agreement. | 1.2080 | 0.04142 | 125 | 102 | 20 | 3 |
1539 | Sorry, I’m an ass man. | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1540 | Finally, no one around. Let it RIP. | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1541 | Hey! Can't a guy any privacy around here? | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1542 | Hi Donald. See you in hell. | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1543 | This is roomier than that stairwell in Port Authority, isn't it? | 1.2080 | 0.04724 | 125 | 106 | 12 | 7 |
1544 | That suit looks rotting on you! | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1545 | Hey, give me some time to get comfortable. | 1.2080 | 0.03818 | 125 | 100 | 24 | 1 |
1546 | Really, why didn't you send me flowers anymore? | 1.2080 | 0.04142 | 125 | 102 | 20 | 3 |
1547 | Does this mean I still have to ‘love thy neighbor’ or do I get exempted from that now? | 1.2080 | 0.04586 | 125 | 105 | 14 | 6 |
1548 | Weeds? Got a lovely fruit basket when I moved into my last neighborhood | 1.2080 | 0.03983 | 125 | 101 | 22 | 2 |
1549 | Seriously, there's no dry cleaning service? | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1550 | Dad! Is that you? | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1551 | That's very kind of you but shouldn't we wait until the decomposition process takes hold? | 1.2080 | 0.04142 | 125 | 102 | 20 | 3 |
1552 | Can I borrow your suit so I don't scare people when I come out | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1553 | Give me a break; I just got here. | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1554 | I didn’t know this was business casual | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1555 | I said a wall, not a tunnel. | 1.2080 | 0.04142 | 125 | 102 | 20 | 3 |
1556 | I'm your wife, Stupid! | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1557 | I’m sorry honey, no new wife for you. | 1.2080 | 0.04586 | 125 | 105 | 14 | 6 |
1558 | Happy Deathday! | 1.2080 | 0.04586 | 125 | 105 | 14 | 6 |
1559 | Stop me if you've heard this one. | 1.2080 | 0.03983 | 125 | 101 | 22 | 2 |
1560 | There may be some lingering resentment. | 1.2080 | 0.04142 | 125 | 102 | 20 | 3 |
1561 | The Baby Boomers are coming! | 1.2080 | 0.04443 | 125 | 104 | 16 | 5 |
1562 | I told you those things would kill ya! | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1563 | I'm frozen but they just don't know it | 1.2080 | 0.04295 | 125 | 103 | 18 | 4 |
1564 | How long do I have to keep wearing this tie? | 1.2072 | 0.04635 | 111 | 92 | 15 | 4 |
1565 | Aw, come on, I didn’t ask for adjoining rooms! | 1.2066 | 0.04218 | 121 | 99 | 19 | 3 |
1566 | Nice to see you too Ethel, but put some clothes on before you catch your death. | 1.2066 | 0.04052 | 121 | 98 | 21 | 2 |
1567 | How ironic. I was a mob boss and now my bff is Jimmy Hoffa | 1.2066 | 0.04533 | 121 | 101 | 15 | 5 |
1568 | Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily -- Life is but a dream. | 1.2066 | 0.04218 | 121 | 99 | 19 | 3 |
1569 | I can't believe I'm on The Dead Ed Sullivan Show! "Hi Mom!" | 1.2066 | 0.04533 | 121 | 101 | 15 | 5 |
1570 | I dunno. I was thinking of just hanging here until after the mid-terms. | 1.2066 | 0.04533 | 121 | 101 | 15 | 5 |
1571 | Yeah yeah yeah, I'm not ready either, buddy. | 1.2063 | 0.04552 | 126 | 106 | 14 | 6 |
1572 | There will be plenty of time to sleep when you're dead"... HA | 1.2054 | 0.04597 | 112 | 93 | 15 | 4 |
1573 | Rest assured, the neighborhood is to die for. | 1.2049 | 0.04187 | 122 | 100 | 19 | 3 |
1574 | Hey, I only agreed to 'til do us part. | 1.2049 | 0.04187 | 122 | 100 | 19 | 3 |
1575 | Sorry to bother you neighbor, but do you have the time? | 1.2049 | 0.04187 | 122 | 100 | 19 | 3 |
1576 | So let's continue where we left off at you last session. | 1.2049 | 0.04499 | 122 | 102 | 15 | 5 |
1577 | I TOLD my wife that I didn’t need to wear a suit. | 1.2049 | 0.03850 | 122 | 98 | 23 | 1 |
1578 | It's a custom-fitted Brooks Bros. suit and I plan to be dug up in it. | 1.2049 | 0.04187 | 122 | 100 | 19 | 3 |
1579 | What a coincidence...two guys with the same name buried next to each other. What killed you, Rip? | 1.2049 | 0.04790 | 122 | 104 | 11 | 7 |
1580 | So what's the story with "till death do us part?" | 1.2049 | 0.04022 | 122 | 99 | 21 | 2 |
1581 | Hi! I'm Rudy, Your wife. Well Trump-Care didn't cover my embalming expenses. | 1.2049 | 0.04346 | 122 | 101 | 17 | 4 |
1582 | How can you be that nosy without a nose? | 1.2037 | 0.04315 | 108 | 88 | 18 | 2 |
1583 | Bob," they told me, "just preside over the special counsel for a few months, and you'll go down in history." Spending eternity next to Ken Starr? That's going down in irony | 1.2035 | 0.04560 | 113 | 94 | 15 | 4 |
1584 | Hey, what about "Til death do us part"?! | 1.2035 | 0.04199 | 113 | 92 | 19 | 2 |
1585 | Your stone doesn't do you justice. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1586 | And here I thought the first level of hell would be a little deeper in the ground. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1587 | No, I don't know what time it is. Who cares? | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1588 | 'Great. They buried me next to Red Skelton'. | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1589 | I’m already seeing someone | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1590 | Hellooo! Welc... Uh, so snobby. What a stiff... | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1591 | Talk about coincidence! My last name is also Van Winkle. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1592 | Where’s a body have to go to get a drink around here? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1593 | I wish now I had requested burial in a separate graveyard, Dear. | 1.2017 | 0.04859 | 119 | 102 | 10 | 7 |
1594 | Even in death I can’t get any peace and quiet. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1595 | HELLo. Think of it as the ultimate clothing optional resort | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1596 | You're overwhelming me! I need to re-gain my de-composure | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1597 | Give me a chance to settle in, Jane. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1598 | Could have sworn I paid for the extra leg room | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1599 | I don't get many visitors. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1600 | Okay already. Before you died I told you a million times that I love you. Now leave me alone. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1601 | Howdy neighbor | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1602 | I know texting, not semaphore! | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1603 | You say I never bring you flowers, what does it matter where I got them. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1604 | Can't a guy have a little peace and quiet down here? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1605 | Relax. Soon, it will be like looking in a mirror! | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1606 | Welcome to the graveyard of former Trump appointees. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1607 | It isn't like Knopf. The first two letters in 'chthonic' are silent. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1608 | Cremation gets reincarnation, we get this | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1609 | And I thought we vowed 'til death do us part''! | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1610 | Please, Nancy! I only promised till death do us part. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1611 | I thought death would do us part... | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1612 | And which "Ex" are you? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1613 | Everyone is so friendly during rigor mortis. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1614 | Rest in peace,they said! How am I supposed to get any rest with this jerk talking all the time? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1615 | Lived long and prospered...Bones | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1616 | And, no property taxes! | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1617 | Are you talkin' to me? Are YOU talkin' to ME? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1618 | I'm not into boners. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1619 | Could be other people also; there’s a lot of people out there. | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1620 | Can you wait till I decompose,I just got here. | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1621 | Welcome to the greatest weight-loss program in the history of the world! | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1622 | Rest In Peace ..." Yeah, right | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1623 | As I am, soon you shall be. | 1.2017 | 0.04859 | 119 | 102 | 10 | 7 |
1624 | I thought Speed Dating was dead . . . not Speed Dating the dead. | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1625 | Be quiet! Do you WANT to be dug up and staked through the heart? | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1626 | In my will when I sad I wanted to be buried with family, I didn't mean my mother-in-law. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1627 | I'm sorry. I'm still uncomfortable around nudity. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1628 | Our vows only said till DEATH do us part. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1629 | I got here first, so I get the tree. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1630 | For the last time, I am not your baby's daddy! | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1631 | Look Dad, you really shouldn't be so happy to see me. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1632 | But they told me on hold that I was next in line. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1633 | I’m sorry it took me so long, but my thought was “better late than never. “ | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1634 | Better late than never, though my preference would have been never. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1635 | I'm just not as excited as you are for us to be neighbors. | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1636 | I AM your last chance! | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1637 | Rest in peace -- that's a joke! Why did I ever agree to a family plot? | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1638 | No, I do NOT want to renew my subscription to The Watchtower. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1639 | I really shouldn't have omitted the "till death do we part" line. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1640 | Hey pal, get a grip. This is a RIP zone. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1641 | Hiya. Got any cigs? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1642 | Why am I always seated with people of no substance? | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1643 | G’day, mate - first time down under? | 1.2017 | 0.05004 | 119 | 103 | 8 | 8 |
1644 | Enjoy Your First Halloween | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1645 | Hiya ! You must be new around here. | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1646 | bonne nuit | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1647 | Gah! Somebody kill me! | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1648 | Thank you, thank you. For my next trick I'll need a volunteer. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1649 | Let me get this straight honey.. now that we're six feet under, no more headaches? | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1650 | Like it or not, clothes do make the man. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1651 | Will you please shut up?! I'm trying to sleep. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1652 | You'll rest more in peace once the maggots get here! | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1653 | This will be an eternity | 1.2017 | 0.04711 | 119 | 101 | 12 | 6 |
1654 | Hey! Easy pal! Once the tie rots, it's not so bad. | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1655 | Hey, the best part is all the weight you lose. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1656 | Welcome to the resistance. | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1657 | So much for 'til death do us part! | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1658 | Hey buddy, at least you were buried with clothes on! | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1659 | To be honest, I'm not happy to see you. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1660 | Admit it. They’re regifted. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1661 | Well I shoulda known, there's no rest for a New York City cab driver! | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1662 | It really is bare bones down here. | 1.2017 | 0.04061 | 119 | 97 | 20 | 2 |
1663 | You overdressed for the occasion. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1664 | I don’t know - why are you asking me anyway - I just got here! | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1665 | Jeez, I figured it would be hotter. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1666 | Relax. Your problems are over. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1667 | Relax, honey. You’re going to be here for a while. | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1668 | Hey, you made it early for once! | 1.2017 | 0.04398 | 119 | 99 | 16 | 4 |
1669 | Rest in peace -- that's a joke! Why did I agree to family plot? | 1.2017 | 0.04557 | 119 | 100 | 14 | 5 |
1670 | Darling, it gets more spacious with time. | 1.2017 | 0.04233 | 119 | 98 | 18 | 3 |
1671 | Eternity next to my father-in-law?... Kill me again. | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1672 | I agreed- "til death do us part!" | 1.2000 | 0.04031 | 120 | 98 | 20 | 2 |
1673 | If I give you these flowers will you shut up about Trump? | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1674 | This is why I wanted Marge to die first. | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1675 | Ahoy there Mate, would you happen to have a sandwich in one of those pockets? I'm starved to death! | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1676 | I thought the Welcome Committee would be wearing at least halos! | 1.2000 | 0.04031 | 120 | 98 | 20 | 2 |
1677 | Were you ready to die?" "Ready to die! Man, I wasn't even ready to live! | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1678 | Boy do I miss the edginess of the city. Even the corpses are friendly down South! | 1.2000 | 0.04522 | 120 | 101 | 14 | 5 |
1679 | It isn't you, it's me! | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1680 | Even in the afterlife, I’m just out of your league! | 1.2000 | 0.04674 | 120 | 102 | 12 | 6 |
1681 | I told you to stay in the closet! | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1682 | Hey buddy, can you keep it down? The sign means Rest In Peace not Rant in Perpetuity! | 1.2000 | 0.04522 | 120 | 101 | 14 | 5 |
1683 | Could you just please compose yourself! | 1.2000 | 0.03853 | 120 | 97 | 22 | 1 |
1684 | This is deplorable. | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1685 | The outlook for afterlife diplomacy is grave. | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1686 | Hold it down. You’ll wake up the dead. | 1.2000 | 0.04031 | 120 | 98 | 20 | 2 |
1687 | I can't believe he's a Republican. | 1.2000 | 0.04522 | 120 | 101 | 14 | 5 |
1688 | Hey! Hey! Got any gum? | 1.2000 | 0.04674 | 120 | 102 | 12 | 6 |
1689 | Okay, you're nice. But who do I have to see to buy my way out of this situation? | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1690 | Hi! In a few months you'll look like me | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1691 | Just give it time. | 1.2000 | 0.04314 | 115 | 95 | 17 | 3 |
1692 | But we can be together FOREVER! | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1693 | Yea, hi. When do they come back and take your clothes? | 1.2000 | 0.04201 | 120 | 99 | 18 | 3 |
1694 | Vladimir, you still didn't say that you loved me! | 1.2000 | 0.04822 | 120 | 103 | 10 | 7 |
1695 | I thought this was a tanning booth ! | 1.2000 | 0.04364 | 120 | 100 | 16 | 4 |
1696 | Folks, I'll let my friend here speak to the efficacy of the "Cemetary Diet". | 1.2000 | 0.03853 | 120 | 97 | 22 | 1 |
1697 | Yes dear, they were on sale. Yes dear, I forgot you were allergic to them... | 1.2000 | 0.03853 | 120 | 97 | 22 | 1 |
1698 | Swiping right won’t make me jump your bones. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1699 | Really? You hate the flowers? You said they where your favorite. I guess I will spend eternity hearing about it. I guess I am not resting peace? | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1700 | Here I don’t need these anymore. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1701 | Finally... what took you so long! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1702 | I wasn't into bony people even when I was alive. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1703 | I took him seriously, not literally. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1704 | More bad luck! My mother-in-law! | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1705 | I didn’t wave back to her when I was alive, and I’m not going to start now. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1706 | I guess this is how it feels to be on a game show and your buzzer is not working | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1707 | I thought I was on Grindr, not Grave Diggr! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1708 | Gimme a minute - I just got here. | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1709 | Hi neighbor, never thought I'd see you again! Can I borrow a shovel? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1710 | And here I always thought necrophilia ran in the other direction! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1711 | Great, there goes the rest of my PTO. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1712 | If notbing else--thought at least I could Rest in PEACE | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1713 | Helo, I’m from Microsoft Windows! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1714 | Welcome to the Neighborhood. I hear people are dying to move here. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1715 | Just send a snapchat like everyone else. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1716 | Uncle Fred was even creepier when he was alive. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1717 | Its OK Donald. Hillary sends her love. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1718 | Thanks,but I'm a little down right now. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1719 | Being the liveliest in the group, Ron was finding it difficult to avoid the advances from the other corpses. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1720 | I've always been a fan of older women, but this is ridiculous. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1721 | Where's the peace? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1722 | Come here often? | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1723 | Welcome to The Bachelor: Underworld | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1724 | Welcome to the neighborhood. Don’t worry you get used to the darkness. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1725 | Always the exhibitionist. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1726 | First rule of dead speed dating: the early corpse gets the worms. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1727 | Sorry about the noise. I'm not quite dug in! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1728 | I knew that dating site was creepy! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1729 | Hi, I was the United States. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1730 | The worm crawls out; say, have you seen my bottle of Mezcal? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1731 | I'm a big fan, really! Sorry we had to meet like this." | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1732 | I’m sorry but you don’t look like the John that I knew. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1733 | Seriously? Nosey neighbor, again?? This is HELL! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1734 | I was very clear. In lieu of flowers, send donations to Uncle Mort’s foundation. Ok? Is that too complicated? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1735 | I specifically requested a private room. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1736 | Hey, remember me? Sorry, I'm bad at faces. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1737 | I'd love to shake, rattle, and roll with you, baby. Just give me a month to change into something more comfortable. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1738 | Oh great! I'm buried next to a groupie. I think I'm going to die. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1739 | Do I still love her? It remains to be seen. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1740 | If I'da knowed it was clothing optional I'da gone ta Forest Lawn! | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1741 | It’s really nothing. Just a little welcome to the neighborhood. | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1742 | Hi! You must be new here. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1743 | Hey, take your suit off. You’re going to be here a while. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1744 | You're too old for me. | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1745 | And I thought I had hit rock bottom with my divorce. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1746 | So is there anyone here from out of town? | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1747 | I mean, who wouldn't choose to wait for the rapture? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1748 | Where's the damn string for the bell?! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1749 | You got to be kidding buddy if you think that's going to make me feel any better! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1750 | I now dub thee the scum of the earth! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1751 | So much for peace and quiet! | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1752 | Oh oh! And didn't you hate it too when you wanted to talk to somebody on a really long flight and they pretended to be asleep? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1753 | I mean, really... Who wants to be born again? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1754 | I thought I’d get some peace and quiet. | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1755 | Can’t I go ANYWHERE without being harassed by my fans?!? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1756 | I tried returning your emails but they never went through. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1757 | At the seance, they said YOU were going to visit ME. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1758 | All I said was I'll pay you when my horse comes in and I ended up here. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1759 | No, for the last time, I didn't bilk you out of the money, you old bag of bones -- It is just company policy. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1760 | I told you before, you're dead to me! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1761 | Hey Buddy! How would you like to decompose without the aid of unsightly maggots and earthworms? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1762 | In case you didn't notice buddy, I "knew what I was doing" too. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1763 | Welcome! Is that a Bill Blass or a De La Renta? | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1764 | Don't worry, it'll pass. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1765 | I have the best grave! No other grave like mine!" "Yoo hoo! Your dead and we don't care" | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1766 | Hey there Bob! I thought it was obvious, but To clarify: I meant to say I "wouldn't" be buried next to you. Not I "would" be buried next to you. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1767 | Why can't you clap? Because you are dead! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1768 | Oy vey! The plot thickens. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1769 | I guess I still have a thing for older women. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1770 | Love at first sight | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1771 | I hate this bare bones reality. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1772 | Alright, already, enough about how there's always a catch when the Genie grants you your wish! | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1773 | I can't get over how good you look | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1774 | Nice try! But I’m still upset! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1775 | I see you have kept your figure | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1776 | A year and a half of Trump I can’t even get a little rest here buddy?! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1777 | WTF! | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1778 | I know you took them from my grave to start with. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1779 | Hi stranger! New in town? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1780 | Relax, buddy. And take off that suit and tie. You're gonna be here for a while. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1781 | Just ate a lot of cured meats, I guess. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1782 | Hey Jimmy, looks like we've got ourselves a live one here! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1783 | It’s too soon, it’s just too soon! | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1784 | Listen pal, I can't help it if my coffin doesn't conform with the co-op regulations. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1785 | Hey roomie! | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1786 | I told you that I had a flesh eating disease. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1787 | I thought it meant Rise If Possible! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1788 | Great, an entire life of unwanted chatter and they bury me next to the overly talkative nudist | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1789 | Nope, I don't want to be part of Neighborhood Watch! | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1790 | Is any body there? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1791 | I'm telling ya, I don't get no respect. I tell my best jokes and the crowd is dead! | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1792 | Not exactly the suit I wanted to be buried in- but I guess I'll make no bones about it. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1793 | I was wrong. The past 12 years has been bliss. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1794 | Go back to bed, Mother. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1795 | You never liked that suit anyway. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1796 | I'm sorry you've had to wait so long for a neighbor to move in, but I'm not gay. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1797 | What do you do for fun down here, play Charades? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1798 | Dolores, I might not be married but I'm still dead. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1799 | I'm playing dead, what's your excuse? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1800 | You have to stop and smell the roses. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1801 | Hell is being buried next to an aluminum siding salesman. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1802 | Good lord, Steve, what makes you think I'm suddenly going to be glad to see you? | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1803 | Even after death, only the creeps/weirdos hit on me? | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1804 | Now I get respect? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1805 | Stop, stop, I have heard that joke before. | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1806 | No surprise, I've always come prematurely | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1807 | Oh No! I forgot I still had a plot next to the Ex! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1808 | Why? Why did I have to be buried to my ex-wife?! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1809 | And they say people in New York never get to know their neighbors! | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1810 | Lovely, but you should know I intend to play the field before settling down. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1811 | Hi! It’s Copeland from Accounting. Don’t you recognize me? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1812 | The salesman told me it was the most economical option in tiny houses. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1813 | I get it, I get it: you were buried prematurely. Womp, womp. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1814 | I just look like George Clooney! | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1815 | Hi honey! Did you take out the garbage before you died? | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1816 | ...still with the nagging, Harriet? I never promised you a rose garden. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1817 | I thought I was moving to a diverse neighborhood but my neighbors are the whitest people I've ever met | 1.1983 | 0.04931 | 116 | 100 | 9 | 7 |
1818 | My last words were ‘“see you in the next life”, not “buried with my ex-wife”. | 1.1983 | 0.04931 | 116 | 100 | 9 | 7 |
1819 | Maybe in some other lifetime, sweetheart. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1820 | Jeez Louise! ‘Till Death Do Us Part’’, ungrammatical as it may be, mean nothing to you? | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1821 | Jeez, You Again!! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1822 | Put some clothes on or I'll have to report you to the HOA | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1823 | I won't start dating again until I lose some weight. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1824 | Hey Lurch, is that you?! You may remember me. I played "Thing" on The Addams Family! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1825 | Hi. Can’t wait to hear how you died. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1826 | Hey pal, got any smokes? | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1827 | WHEN YOU BECOME SKELETON ALL RELATIVES WILL LOOK ALIKE | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1828 | What is it about 'until death do you part' and 'R.I.P.' you don't understand? | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1829 | Why did they bury you naked? | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1830 | Happy death day! Got cake? | 1.1983 | 0.04931 | 116 | 100 | 9 | 7 |
1831 | Hey! Hey! Do you have one of those iPhone paperclip things for getting the sim card out?" | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1832 | Can't I get some peace and quiet anywhere?! | 1.1983 | 0.04617 | 116 | 98 | 13 | 5 |
1833 | When Stephen asked me to take over his graveyard shift, I thought he meant something else. | 1.1983 | 0.04101 | 116 | 95 | 19 | 2 |
1834 | What can I tell you, buddy? Real Estate in NYC is a competitive business. | 1.1983 | 0.03914 | 116 | 94 | 21 | 1 |
1835 | If I"m lying, I'm dying! | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1836 | No. We knew analysis takes time. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1837 | I know, right? It’s the only place anyone can afford with the skyrocketing rent costs. | 1.1983 | 0.04452 | 116 | 97 | 15 | 4 |
1838 | Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.. | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1839 | Look, I'm new to this. Can we take it slow at first? | 1.1983 | 0.04777 | 116 | 99 | 11 | 6 |
1840 | Be quiet - I’m trying to sleep here. | 1.1983 | 0.04280 | 116 | 96 | 17 | 3 |
1841 | Mom, it was embarrassing enough when I went off to kindergarten, but departing down the River Styx??? | 1.1966 | 0.03884 | 117 | 95 | 21 | 1 |
1842 | It gets better! | 1.1961 | 0.04835 | 102 | 86 | 12 | 4 |
1843 | Your welcome makes it all worthwhile. | 1.1949 | 0.04383 | 118 | 99 | 15 | 4 |
1844 | Welcome, but it seems that your right arm was put on backwards and they’ll get away with it! | 1.1947 | 0.04508 | 113 | 95 | 14 | 4 |
1845 | Sorry, but no, I don't need a 'really good' set of encyclopedias. | 1.1947 | 0.04508 | 113 | 95 | 14 | 4 |
1846 | I was promised a 'do us part' ! | 1.1947 | 0.04329 | 113 | 94 | 16 | 3 |
1847 | Shut-up or I'll kill you! | 1.1947 | 0.04680 | 113 | 96 | 12 | 5 |
1848 | Stop with the campaign speech ,what part of rest in peace don’t you understand . | 1.1947 | 0.03741 | 113 | 91 | 22 | 0 |
1849 | I said I wanted to be cremated! | 1.1947 | 0.04508 | 113 | 95 | 14 | 4 |
1850 | Did you tell them you're not ready? | 1.1947 | 0.04680 | 113 | 96 | 12 | 5 |
1851 | I said 'closed casket' but did she ever listen to me? | 1.1947 | 0.04142 | 113 | 93 | 18 | 2 |
1852 | Oh great. I always get seated next to the nobodies. | 1.1944 | 0.04643 | 108 | 91 | 13 | 4 |
1853 | How can I rest I peace when buried next to my mother-in-law? | 1.1930 | 0.04471 | 114 | 96 | 14 | 4 |
1854 | Please stop soft-tissue-splaining. | 1.1927 | 0.05128 | 109 | 95 | 7 | 7 |
1855 | Do you recognize me? I lost some weight. | 1.1909 | 0.04379 | 110 | 92 | 15 | 3 |
1856 | Fred, I'm not yet dead! | 1.1909 | 0.04379 | 110 | 92 | 15 | 3 |
1857 | Hey, keep it down over there! We are supposed to be resting in peace! | 1.1909 | 0.04184 | 110 | 91 | 17 | 2 |
1858 | Wave Back: The Bare-Bones Guide To Being Buried Alive | 1.1909 | 0.04379 | 110 | 92 | 15 | 3 |
1859 | John, I really didn't expect to see you again | 1.1909 | 0.04379 | 110 | 92 | 15 | 3 |
1860 | Criminy! I said I wanted cryogenics and no bones about it! | 1.1892 | 0.04705 | 111 | 95 | 11 | 5 |
1861 | Yes Blanche, we're finally together again, and this time for all eternity...oh joy. | 1.1892 | 0.03948 | 111 | 91 | 19 | 1 |
1862 | It wasn't my fault I was late. It was Google Maps, I tell you! | 1.1892 | 0.03948 | 111 | 91 | 19 | 1 |
1863 | Stop waving at me and tell me how to get out. | 1.1892 | 0.04705 | 111 | 95 | 11 | 5 |
1864 | Look - I appreciate the welcome, but I just wanna rest in peace | 1.1892 | 0.04527 | 111 | 94 | 13 | 4 |
1865 | I've told you, it's a little late to schedule that prostate exam. But if you don't shut up about it, I'll oblige. | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1866 | The moment John realised 'Til death do us part' was temporary. | 1.1892 | 0.04150 | 111 | 92 | 17 | 2 |
1867 | Don't blame me if the boss didn't like your bare-bones proposal! | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1868 | Method acting, they said. No big deal. | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1869 | Hey Ed...over here - it's Jack Paar! | 1.1892 | 0.03948 | 111 | 91 | 19 | 1 |
1870 | Hey newbie, what do you think of the great views these convertible models’ have? | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1871 | Name is Nixon. Join me. But leave your hair. | 1.1892 | 0.04527 | 111 | 94 | 13 | 4 |
1872 | This is so cool! How long has it been since we last hung out? Anyway, what's new with you? | 1.1892 | 0.04150 | 111 | 92 | 17 | 2 |
1873 | A pocket full of posies? Where’s my ascension package!? | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1874 | OK, I’ll keep quiet about the life-after-death stuff. | 1.1892 | 0.04150 | 111 | 92 | 17 | 2 |
1875 | Hey fella, you know you going to be down here for a while! | 1.1892 | 0.04343 | 111 | 93 | 15 | 3 |
1876 | So I ‘m late. Let’s not get off to a bad start here. | 1.1880 | 0.03826 | 117 | 96 | 20 | 1 |
1877 | Seriously, nothing ever gets under your skin! | 1.1875 | 0.04666 | 112 | 96 | 11 | 5 |
1878 | Ugh, the plot schtickens. | 1.1875 | 0.04490 | 112 | 95 | 13 | 4 |
1879 | You're entirely too composed to be in this deep! | 1.1875 | 0.04490 | 112 | 95 | 13 | 4 |
1880 | In the winter months, Chad wondered how Fred managed the chills | 1.1875 | 0.04490 | 112 | 95 | 13 | 4 |
1881 | Oh, hi honey! Just in time...mom should be burrowing over any minute now. | 1.1875 | 0.04116 | 112 | 93 | 17 | 2 |
1882 | It says 'rest in peace'! | 1.1875 | 0.04490 | 112 | 95 | 13 | 4 |
1883 | But I do care that I left the water running! | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1884 | You Bonehead, it's less than an apartment in Midtown, there are no property taxes and this has low assessments. | 1.1875 | 0.04490 | 112 | 95 | 13 | 4 |
1885 | I don't suppose there's a sports bar down here? | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1886 | I just want some peace and quiet | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1887 | It doesn't look it - but I was once just like you | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1888 | Guess you didn't expect to move in next to a gay guy." | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1889 | Not that long, but I’ve put down roots | 1.1875 | 0.04116 | 112 | 93 | 17 | 2 |
1890 | The obituary clearly said no flowers | 1.1875 | 0.04835 | 112 | 97 | 9 | 6 |
1891 | I wish I had been cremated. | 1.1875 | 0.04307 | 112 | 94 | 15 | 3 |
1892 | Shhh!! You're making enough noise to wake the dead! | 1.1869 | 0.04812 | 107 | 92 | 10 | 5 |
1893 | Hey handsome, Mother says it is ok for us to be alone together now. | 1.1869 | 0.04625 | 107 | 91 | 12 | 4 |
1894 | Going green takes time. Them up there still haven't figured it out. | 1.1869 | 0.04625 | 107 | 91 | 12 | 4 |
1895 | I'm dying for a good talk. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1896 | Welcome neighbor. How do you like your new digs? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1897 | "Hey buddy! Your epidermis is showing!" -Joseph Dennis, Mobile, Ala. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1898 | I don’t know, I’m still playing the field, as it were. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1899 | You Know I Can't Smell Them! | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1900 | I know, Mitt, I know - he totally ignored the 2012 Republican Autopsy Report. | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1901 | Hi there! You don't seem to be at peace. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1902 | Finally, someone in the neighborhood who is not afraid to have a little meat on their bones. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1903 | What gives, Genie? I said I wanted to get laid, not "laid to rest!" | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1904 | I told you that low-carb diet was no good for you in the long run. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1905 | I said in lieu of flowers | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1906 | I still say I didn’t kill you | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1907 | I'm buried and only with a skeleton crew. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1908 | Hi Bill, it's me from Enron. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1909 | Can I borrow some of your toothpaste? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1910 | Woo-hoo, Mr. LaPierre? Over here! I’ll be taking those guns now! | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1911 | You in the suit! What part of 'rest in peace' don't you understand? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1912 | Hey Neighbor, give me some skin. Pleeeeeeease give me some skin!!" | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1913 | Hey, hold it down over there. I didn't sign up to have a loudmouth politician next door for eternity! | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1914 | The irony is, I was really into recycling... | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1915 | Hey, buddy,can’t you read the sign? | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1916 | thanks, but i'm waiting for my ride out of here. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1917 | Gentrification is killing this neighborhood." | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1918 | Relax. You’re going to like it here. It’s very peaceful. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1919 | Donald Trump is gay for his gay communist plutocrat boyfriend Vladimir Putin. I | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1920 | Sorry, I'm just not a supporter of Medicaid. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1921 | I told you, I'm not Harry. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1922 | You should see the other guy. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1923 | The food's lousy, but the environment is heavenly. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1924 | The wifi is great, but I think I got a plot next to my ex | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1925 | That is all well and good, but I think we’re in two different places. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1926 | Don't ask me. Some people can never put a lid on it. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1927 | Thank you, but, it's a little late for flowers. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1928 | Who knew my ex wife could look so good!? | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1929 | Hey, no one can hear you! Try rolling over. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1930 | Wow! It's my skeleton in the closet! | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1931 | High-five. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1932 | Hey Newbie, John Steeele here. Please be quiet, I'm trying to rust in peace. | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1933 | What, exactly, are you proposing? | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1934 | I like stand up better | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1935 | Hey! didn't the Minister said till death due us part? | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1936 | Even in death, I can't escape my mother-in-law. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1937 | Well hello hello ! I never thought I would see you again, dear son in law. | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1938 | Frank I know you're new but it's Monday. Fridays are for formal wear. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1939 | Okay, okay already. Next time I'll eat my spinach. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1940 | I’m rooting for you! | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1941 | Do you have a vase I can borrow? | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1942 | Hey, I’m not a crook | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1943 | Try to remember, its Rest In Peace, not Roust, Ingratiate and Patronize. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1944 | Don't fret, look at the bright side, now you now you_have the time to stop and smell the roses. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1945 | ...but what about the emails? | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1946 | Don't get too attached to me. I'm working on a transfer. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1947 | @#!$% time machine! | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1948 | Killer bouquet, dude! | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1949 | Hey! It’s been way too long! | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1950 | We're just tubing the River Styx, man. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1951 | Hi.. Where do I put my Clothes? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1952 | So anyway, it all began when my mother just couldn't decide what to name me... | 1.1852 | 0.04948 | 108 | 94 | 8 | 6 |
1953 | You had your chance | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1954 | We were both drop dead gorgeous. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1955 | Just because we got married in real life doesn't mean I want to be roommates now. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1956 | You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1957 | This is not what I had in mind when we took out a Mort-gauge on these plots. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1958 | I don’t care if you lost those extra pounds, I am still not interested. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1959 | Plastic actually, but they are life-like, aren't they? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1960 | I'm not dead, yet. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1961 | I paid extra for no solicitations throughout eternity. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1962 | ...so then I told them....take it or leave it. And what do you think they said... | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1963 | Of all the loonies.. right beside a Wimbledon streaker.. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1964 | Aww, come on! I always get stuck with the worst neighbors! | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1965 | Thanks, but I have nothing to put them in. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1966 | Somebody kill me." | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1967 | Maybe if I ignore him he will just go away | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1968 | If they're fresh what are you doing with them? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1969 | "Why me?" "Because you voted for Trump!" | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1970 | No peace wherever I go. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1971 | I thought you had guts | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1972 | My new neighbor acts nice but I think they have skeletons. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1973 | Sorry honey. I came down empty handed. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1974 | I wonder what the return policy on this suit is. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1975 | Love never dies. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1976 | THEN my analyst said... | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1977 | Try spinning! | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1978 | All I said was, 'Great, now, we have a trusted ally in Russia.' | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1979 | It's too late,Meredith. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1980 | The no carb diet really works! | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1981 | No bones about it, you must be new here | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1982 | Welcome, I bet you didn't think I would lose the weight. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1983 | You have an eternity to get comfortable. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1984 | I just got here so back off. | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1985 | What the hell? I was supposed to be buried facing down over Marilyn Monroe! | 1.1852 | 0.04948 | 108 | 94 | 8 | 6 |
1986 | Hey! We call this the adjustment period. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1987 | Are you still ghosting me? | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1988 | What no lid, no privacy? | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1989 | I miss the "death do us part" already. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
1990 | Oh, hi honey...um...I see you finally lost the weight. | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1991 | He said he didn't meddle! | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1992 | Give me three. | 1.1852 | 0.04770 | 108 | 93 | 10 | 5 |
1993 | Sorry I missed my therapy appointment last week.” | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1994 | I don't understand. I gotta wait til All Souls Day for our neighbors to liven up a little. | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
1995 | we don't really do stand up down here... | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1996 | Welcome to the before and after | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1997 | You were my twin once, and you will be again, soon... | 1.1852 | 0.04393 | 108 | 91 | 14 | 3 |
1998 | Welcome. Let me be the first to invite you to our weekly soul-cial. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
1999 | Sorry, I didn't bring my cell phone. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
2000 | Don't worry. Give it a few years and you'll get used to it. | 1.1852 | 0.04191 | 108 | 90 | 16 | 2 |
2001 | What does he not get about "in peace"? | 1.1852 | 0.04585 | 108 | 92 | 12 | 4 |
2002 | This is NOT Resting In Peace. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
2003 | Finally, I get some respect. | 1.1852 | 0.03979 | 108 | 89 | 18 | 1 |
2004 | Can someone explain why I feel like death warmed over? | 1.1852 | 0.03755 | 108 | 88 | 20 | 0 |
2005 | Can I help it if I am better preserved than you... | 1.1835 | 0.03946 | 109 | 90 | 18 | 1 |
2006 | After over 200 years, Benedict Arnold finally gets some company. | 1.1827 | 0.04687 | 104 | 89 | 11 | 4 |
2007 | I said I’d sell my soul to be dead-handsome — the hyphen should go without saying! | 1.1818 | 0.04508 | 110 | 94 | 12 | 4 |
2008 | We have too much dead air in here! | 1.1818 | 0.04121 | 110 | 92 | 16 | 2 |
2009 | Late night humorists once POTUS gets his way. | 1.1810 | 0.04838 | 105 | 91 | 9 | 5 |
2010 | I'm sorry, but I'm really not into the Goth look. | 1.1810 | 0.04645 | 105 | 90 | 11 | 4 |
2011 | Welcome! If you had arrived a few years ago, we could have passed for twins. | 1.1810 | 0.04444 | 105 | 89 | 13 | 3 |
2012 | You forgot to empty the dish washer! | 1.1810 | 0.04232 | 105 | 88 | 15 | 2 |
2013 | you got a magazine? | 1.1810 | 0.04645 | 105 | 90 | 11 | 4 |
2014 | Hey buddy,which way to the river Styx? | 1.1810 | 0.04645 | 105 | 90 | 11 | 4 |
2015 | shhh, I told you that I'm trying to keep a low profile here. | 1.1810 | 0.04444 | 105 | 89 | 13 | 3 |
2016 | Thanks for the gesture, Floyd, I just can’t deal with anything right now. It’s all so confusing. | 1.1810 | 0.04444 | 105 | 89 | 13 | 3 |
2017 | Stop complaining. You may be hot, but I was naked at my wake. | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2018 | Welcome.its casual Friday here everyday | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2019 | From here to eternity | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2020 | Great, they put me in the nudist area. | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2021 | Howdy, and welcome to the neighborhood. You'll like it. Been here a long time myself. | 1.1792 | 0.03976 | 106 | 88 | 17 | 1 |
2022 | Hey, relax. You're going to be here awhile. | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2023 | British Colonial Rule welcomes new casualty, being buried alive... American Democracy | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2024 | You have to learn to relax. | 1.1792 | 0.03743 | 106 | 87 | 19 | 0 |
2025 | You mean 'looks ain't everything and it's what's inside of you that counts'" | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2026 | Keep them,I don’t like flowers | 1.1792 | 0.03976 | 106 | 88 | 17 | 1 |
2027 | Where's the eternal peace? The kids never got over the divorce. | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2028 | Heyya! It's cute how you're still upset by the last 24-hour news cycle. | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2029 | Wassup? | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2030 | They're lovely but I seem to have lost my wallet. | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2031 | Hey shut up! Trying to get some eternal peace here. | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2032 | Hey mister! Got a light? | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2033 | I'm telling you, cutting taxes will enable the economy to grow enough to pay for everything! | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2034 | Charades? I dig it! | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2035 | Reduce In Peace? I really don't like this diet! | 1.1792 | 0.04795 | 106 | 92 | 9 | 5 |
2036 | You would wear a suit, wouldn't you! | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2037 | Donald! Donald! Hey! It's me, Jimmy, Jimmy Buchanan. What's up buddy? Welcome to the bottom! | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2038 | OK,OK,if there's no Wifi,I guess I'll have to converse with a real live person. Or not. | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2039 | I know I'm the new guy, but the social scene is pretty dead down here, right? | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2040 | You don’t get it. ‘Never nude’ neans NEVER! | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2041 | They are lovely---you shouldn't have. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2042 | Even in death she won't leave me alone. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2043 | How can I tweet without my phone? | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2044 | Hey, baby, sure I remember you, it's me, Donald | 1.1792 | 0.04795 | 106 | 92 | 9 | 5 |
2045 | Hey Frankie, you've turned into some kind of underground nudist, or something? | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2046 | Hillary! Look on the bright side. Now you don't have to be tired all the time. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2047 | I'd like us to get to know each other a little bit first....Then we could maybe talk about going out....I mean up...together." | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2048 | I died for beauty but was scarce adjusted in the tomb When one who died for truth was lain in an adjoining room... And so, as kinsmen met a night, We talked between the rooms, Until the moss had reached our lips, And covered up our names. (Dickinson) | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2049 | you're dead | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2050 | But I was looking for open concept | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2051 | No, I am not interested in essential oils. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2052 | Welcome to Helsinki, Komrade. Welcome to Death! Amerika. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2053 | You're going to get that money over my dead body | 1.1792 | 0.04979 | 106 | 93 | 7 | 6 |
2054 | How can I rest in peace if you won't shut up about Hillary's emails?? | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2055 | Now serving number 47. Number 47? | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2056 | So much for finally getting to disconnect... | 1.1792 | 0.03743 | 106 | 87 | 19 | 0 |
2057 | Mister Interlocuter and Mister Bones can't bury their differences. | 1.1792 | 0.04604 | 106 | 91 | 11 | 4 |
2058 | Look...stop me if you've heard this one before. I don't want to bore you to death ...! | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2059 | Am I coming or going? | 1.1792 | 0.04196 | 106 | 89 | 15 | 2 |
2060 | We've got to quit meeting like this. | 1.1792 | 0.04405 | 106 | 90 | 13 | 3 |
2061 | Give it a few years.. you'll shed those extra pounds in no time! | 1.1776 | 0.04753 | 107 | 93 | 9 | 5 |
2062 | Welcome! It only gets better- I promise! | 1.1776 | 0.04367 | 107 | 91 | 13 | 3 |
2063 | He was a nightmare in ephemerality, now I’m stuck being his accountant for eternity. | 1.1776 | 0.04160 | 107 | 90 | 15 | 2 |
2064 | How can I explain why I'm in purgatory and you aren't? | 1.1776 | 0.03942 | 107 | 89 | 17 | 1 |
2065 | Don't tell me. I invented Taphophobia. | 1.1776 | 0.04564 | 107 | 92 | 11 | 4 |
2066 | Hey! Hey, you got a cigarette? | 1.1765 | 0.04041 | 102 | 85 | 16 | 1 |
2067 | Hi honey, where have you been? | 1.1765 | 0.04496 | 102 | 87 | 12 | 3 |
2068 | So then I said, "Lincoln in the Bardo"--what a bunch of crap. | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2069 | I’m not dead yet! Stop waving at me. | 1.1765 | 0.04909 | 102 | 89 | 8 | 5 |
2070 | It looks hard at first. But by the time of your great grandkids, you too will be an expert at rolling. | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2071 | Decompose the suit and stay a while. | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2072 | You have my condolences. | 1.1765 | 0.04496 | 102 | 87 | 12 | 3 |
2073 | No thanks, I already have two | 1.1765 | 0.04496 | 102 | 87 | 12 | 3 |
2074 | Would you please quit shaking dem dry bones! | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2075 | Who's there to tickle my funny bone now? | 1.1765 | 0.04275 | 102 | 86 | 14 | 2 |
2076 | You didn't need to get so dressed up. | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2077 | Can't a guy get some peace and quiet around here? | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2078 | Why don’t you go fly a kite? | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2079 | Oh Darling, I've been waiting so long for you. | 1.1765 | 0.04496 | 102 | 87 | 12 | 3 |
2080 | The tombstone says rest in peace. Leave me alone. | 1.1765 | 0.04707 | 102 | 88 | 10 | 4 |
2081 | Hi!, welcome to the neighborhood! Thanks, but I had no intention on moving in this soon. | 1.1759 | 0.04525 | 108 | 93 | 11 | 4 |
2082 | Who would have thought no one would come to my funeral? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2083 | Are you done yet? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2084 | Fine, I’ll give you credit for social X-ray but I need my white suit back | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2085 | Why would I want the flowers back mom?! | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2086 | Please Pass the Poupon. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2087 | 'Okay, okay, I'm sorry I forgot to put roses on your grave | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2088 | Of all the luck! I'm buried next to Larry who, since childhood, always had a creepy crush on me. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2089 | Even in death I can't get away from her? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2090 | Remember Larry,we always said 'til death do us part". | 1.1748 | 0.03760 | 103 | 85 | 18 | 0 |
2091 | Darling, you know I love the time we spend together. I'm just not looking for something long term right now. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2092 | I told you hell was not full yet. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2093 | I forgot that you were allergic to roses. Sorry. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2094 | Wave if you can see me. | 1.1748 | 0.03760 | 103 | 85 | 18 | 0 |
2095 | Welcome. Yeah, we all thought we weren’t supposed to be here when we were new. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2096 | Welcome! No, this can't be right! | 1.1748 | 0.05056 | 103 | 91 | 6 | 6 |
2097 | Don't worry! I wouldn't dare because I am fully aware of #MeToo! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2098 | Some of us are trying to rest in peace, over here. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2099 | Hello Eternal Neighbor. Hope you're not too claustrophobic. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2100 | Why did a pay for the family plan? What was I thinking? How was I supposed to know it included mother-in-laws? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2101 | I was going to be cremated, but I'm afraid of fire | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2102 | This will be your first bad news story you can't reverse! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2103 | Howdy neighbor! How can I make your stay more restful and peaceful? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2104 | You look like a lively one. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2105 | Here's where you find your inner self. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2106 | But honey, I thought it was only ’til death do us part. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2107 | What a RIP! | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2108 | Stop it. I got remarried twice since | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2109 | Welcome to your death bed! I am your tour guide | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2110 | Something tells me I’m overdressed! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2111 | I just can’t tell if I’m coming or going! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2112 | What can I say. It grows on you. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2113 | Okay, okay...leave me one of your tracts. Then leave me the hell alone. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2114 | Can't you read?! | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2115 | R.I.P., Jeff! R.I.P! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2116 | Yeah, sure, gramps. It's just as great to see you again. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2117 | I guess you could say I’m a chatterbox. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2118 | With that degenerate next-door, I have a sinking feeling I am not going to get much rest and peace. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2119 | I'll never get away from my mother-in-law! | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2120 | Don't worry - The freshman 15 is inevitable ! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2121 | Hey Buddy, I know you're cold but can't you read the tombstone? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2122 | Anybody down here get satellite? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2123 | Will you stop bragging about your tattoos? The past is the past, dude. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2124 | Oh great! He'll probably never stop talking. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2125 | We're all pretty sore. But we try not to vent. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2126 | You might have tried ringing the bell rather than waving like that. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2127 | What about the "till death do us part" business? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2128 | Flowers ? Really ? Maybe next year some clothes for a birthday gift, whaddya think ? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2129 | Would you PLEASE stop that! I'm trying to get some eternal rest. | 1.1748 | 0.05056 | 103 | 91 | 6 | 6 |
2130 | I know my policy didn't cover this suit. What do they think, I'm still made of money? | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2131 | I’m sorry, I’m not ready to be social. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2132 | The LongGoodbye | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2133 | Let me tell you, my agent's been lying down on the job. "Hey, how'm I supposed do stand-up in here?" | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2134 | Welcome to the neighborhood, I was buried and rotted here. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2135 | This afterlife sucks. Where's my beautiful, beautiful Sylvia? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2136 | Maybe it's time to slow down and smell the roses. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2137 | Don't try to get on my good side. I know you asked for separate coffins when you made the reservation. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2138 | And I asked to be cremated. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2139 | How is it that Mr. Bones over there has more life than me? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2140 | R.I.P" RIP what? Paper, Fabric...? | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2141 | I thought it was just a Jeep thing. This is gonna be hell. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2142 | Are you going to do that for the rest of eternity? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2143 | You know Harold, we could do a public service announcement "Always suit up before you jump her bones." | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2144 | So much has changed in 15 years Helen. I'm not the same man and you?...well your all bones now, and I'm...not feeling it! | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2145 | Harry from Accounts says hello | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2146 | Welcome! 7 Billion more and the earth will begin to heal! | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2147 | I asked for a private burial! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2148 | "Hey, remember the skeleton crew you never paid?" | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2149 | It was a rhetorical question | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2150 | Should have opted for cremation - that burial insurance really put me in the hole. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2151 | No, I didn't bring any Vitamin D! What, you think I planned this? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2152 | This is ridiculous, we really can't go back up from here? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2153 | That suit will soon be swimming on you. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2154 | Gee Honey, you’re looking well! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2155 | Are you flirting with the new guy? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2156 | Hey, Friday's are business casual! | 1.1748 | 0.05241 | 103 | 92 | 4 | 7 |
2157 | You new here? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2158 | Hi Joe. Didn't you know that 15 min could have saved you 15% or more on After Life Insurance? Don't be like Joe. Call GOD CO. Now | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2159 | Looks like “till death do us part” is going to take longer than you hoped for. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2160 | Look at this cheap suit they put me in! No worries, soon you will look like me. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2161 | Make no bones about it, this coffin way too small. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2162 | I’m sticking to “til death do us part”, not “now and forever”. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2163 | I think it's too soon... | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2164 | Which part of rest in peace do you not get? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2165 | Where is my agent?! I don't work with old people! | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2166 | You’re not helping me make death great again! | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2167 | Hey.., trying to get some rest here! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2168 | This is so unsuitable. I was a blue jeans kind of guy. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2169 | My loving wife never told me what happened to her first husband. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2170 | Let me tell ya, this whole afterlife thing, it's gonna be huge! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2171 | Hi, clothes are optional here! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2172 | Welcome to the neighborhood! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2173 | I guess I didn't hide all my skeletons in the closet and that I'm going to Hell in a casket. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2174 | I told you I wouldn't wait forever | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2175 | Bro," he said, "I'm not going out like everyone else. I'm going to live a life of adventure. Sadly I died without finding what happened to him. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2176 | They had to bury me next my insurance salesman. | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2177 | Looks like they forgot to leave the coins for the Styx crossing for you too. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2178 | a trump what's up" | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2179 | 'I had the #f* right-of-way?' That's all you got? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2180 | Come on, you are supposed to be resting. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2181 | OK ! Now what happens? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2182 | Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2183 | Relax! The first 20 days are the worst. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2184 | Hi, I'm Nixon's presidency, pleased to meet you, Trump. Did you dig that yourself? | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2185 | Stop Please! Your Killing Me! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2186 | Hello!! It's casual Friday, bub. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2187 | Oh, NOW you give them to me. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2188 | She's a dead ringer for his ex-wife. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2189 | You either feed your memorial guests sandwiches or get a coffin top they said. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2190 | I know who you are, we bought these together. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2191 | If you constantly wave like this, you'll stave off rigor mortis! | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2192 | Sorry. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe fake it until you make it? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2193 | We've reached death; can we part? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2194 | Come on Bobby, this is why I moved out of the house." | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2195 | You're not Russian, are you? | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2196 | How come Styx and stones didn’t break your bones? | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2197 | Hey Bob! Hey Bob! BOB! Damn, that rigor mortis has really set in there. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2198 | Try leaving well enough alone. | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2199 | 'Will you just let me rest in peace!" | 1.1748 | 0.04236 | 103 | 87 | 14 | 2 |
2200 | These tombstones are false advertising... | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2201 | For the last time -- no, that casket doesn't make you look fat! | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2202 | Just gimme the bare bones. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2203 | Where can I hang this suit? It's killing me. | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2204 | The Grave's a Fine and Quiet Place....Not | 1.1748 | 0.04005 | 103 | 86 | 16 | 1 |
2205 | 'What happened to death do us part?' he said to his nagging former wife. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2206 | No thank you. I'm on a liquids-only diet. | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2207 | You're interupting the PEACE! | 1.1748 | 0.04455 | 103 | 88 | 12 | 3 |
2208 | I think it's time you stop dieting. | 1.1748 | 0.04864 | 103 | 90 | 8 | 5 |
2209 | Hey! Will you please stop whining about the death of white male hegemony! | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2210 | My condolences to your family... | 1.1748 | 0.04664 | 103 | 89 | 10 | 4 |
2211 | Some cheapskate gave me plastic flowers. The same one must have given you that suit. | 1.1731 | 0.04199 | 104 | 88 | 14 | 2 |
2212 | This is it? I was really looking forward to eternal damnation. | 1.1731 | 0.04415 | 104 | 89 | 12 | 3 |
2213 | It’ll be an eternity before I catch up with the Boneses. | 1.1731 | 0.04820 | 104 | 91 | 8 | 5 |
2214 | Every move you make, Every leg you break, "Every story you fake, Till your last burned steak "I'll be watching you. | 1.1731 | 0.04415 | 104 | 89 | 12 | 3 |
2215 | So, buddy, what's happened in politics since 2014? | 1.1731 | 0.04622 | 104 | 90 | 10 | 4 |
2216 | Okay! Five syllables, I got it. How long does this game of charades of yours go on? | 1.1731 | 0.04415 | 104 | 89 | 12 | 3 |
2217 | Well, at least I'll finally lose a few pounds. | 1.1731 | 0.04415 | 104 | 89 | 12 | 3 |
2218 | Now, you've all met my next guest.... | 1.1731 | 0.04199 | 104 | 88 | 14 | 2 |
2219 | hey sexy - u married?" "just got divorced yesterday - not a good time... | 1.1731 | 0.04622 | 104 | 90 | 10 | 4 |
2220 | Oh great, I just want some peace and quiet. | 1.1731 | 0.04415 | 104 | 89 | 12 | 3 |
2221 | DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BORED! | 1.1731 | 0.04820 | 104 | 91 | 8 | 5 |
2222 | Just when you thought things couldn't get worse, they decided to burry me next to "them, they, she/he." | 1.1717 | 0.04317 | 99 | 84 | 13 | 2 |
2223 | Did I not meet the deadline? | 1.1705 | 0.04343 | 88 | 74 | 13 | 1 |
2224 | Cheap kids! I had no idea they would put me next to my ex-wife! | 1.1700 | 0.04034 | 100 | 84 | 15 | 1 |
2225 | HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO ROT? | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2226 | Hey, you're early! | 1.1700 | 0.04726 | 100 | 87 | 9 | 4 |
2227 | Groupies never die. | 1.1700 | 0.04034 | 100 | 84 | 15 | 1 |
2228 | Don't take it personally but I just ended a relationship. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2229 | Why don't you go back to my closet where you belong! | 1.1700 | 0.04034 | 100 | 84 | 15 | 1 |
2230 | I thought Limbo was a dance, too. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2231 | Hey,can't I just expect a little peace? | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2232 | Everyone said I'll be better off dead, and so I tired it. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2233 | Cheer up fella...it could be worse. | 1.1700 | 0.03775 | 100 | 83 | 17 | 0 |
2234 | I don't get it, the will specifically called for seersucker ! | 1.1700 | 0.04277 | 100 | 85 | 13 | 2 |
2235 | I'm sorry, but I'm bone tired and just want some rest. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2236 | Afraid to meet the new neighbor, because he had no guts. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2237 | As a fellow attorney, I'd suggest that you rest your case. | 1.1700 | 0.04507 | 100 | 86 | 11 | 3 |
2238 | Can a handsome gentleman just rest in PEACE?! | 1.1700 | 0.03775 | 100 | 83 | 17 | 0 |
2239 | I find fresh flowers and a new lid help defeat this Industrial Modernist boxiness. | 1.1700 | 0.04726 | 100 | 87 | 9 | 4 |
2240 | You heard me wrong. I said "I'm so hungry I couldn't die" | 1.1700 | 0.04277 | 100 | 85 | 13 | 2 |
2241 | Oh oh, let me say it -- "Puttin' on the Ritz!" | 1.1700 | 0.04277 | 100 | 85 | 13 | 2 |
2242 | I can't catch a break! | 1.1700 | 0.04726 | 100 | 87 | 9 | 4 |
2243 | Martha, I told you I'm busy. | 1.1700 | 0.04935 | 100 | 88 | 7 | 5 |
2244 | So get this—I shit you not—GEORGE BURNS ends up buried next to me and I’m waving harder than the fucking Queen of England but he still can’t see me through the two coffins and all the dirt between us…and so yeah that’s how I dislocated my elbow, doc. | 1.1700 | 0.04277 | 100 | 85 | 13 | 2 |
2245 | You again?! With the smile and the cheery waves! | 1.1700 | 0.04034 | 100 | 84 | 15 | 1 |
2246 | So this is where fired press secretaries go. | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2247 | Okay, okay, so you’re killing it old school! | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2248 | Okay, what if Company A only sold a DMO dental plan but carried extended eye care.... | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2249 | Buchanan?! Get out of here with that, this guy’s way worse! How long you been dead? Ahhh whatever. Least I don’t have to hear him any more. | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2250 | Thanks for the warm greeting, but I want us to get ready for two jackasses from the New Yorker, David Remnick and the truly awful Amy Sorkin. | 1.1683 | 0.04682 | 101 | 88 | 9 | 4 |
2251 | It doesn't end!!! | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2252 | -"To make a long story short ..." -"Why bother?" | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2253 | Great, I'm stuck with a chatterbox until they build an apartment block. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2254 | Hey big boy. Why don't you slip out of that skin and stay awhile? | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2255 | Is yours rent controlled? | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2256 | Welcome neighbor. Just so you know, the suit is the first thing to go.” Cyndi Bloom Boca Raton,FL. cyndibloom65@me.co | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2257 | Mom! I am wearing a jacket! | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2258 | I hear what you're saying. But, vampires never wave back. | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2259 | And so I said, "I can't accept your apology until you accept me as an immortally self-absorbed wind bag." | 1.1683 | 0.04682 | 101 | 88 | 9 | 4 |
2260 | Hi there friend! Look, who doesn't need some After-Life insurance. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2261 | ''Have you read Lincoln in the Bardo?" | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2262 | No, no, let me finish, one minute I was translating, and the next thing I knew I was here! | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2263 | 13 years of school, 4 years of college, 3 years of masters, and 15 years at the corporate office? I bet it was all worth it! | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2264 | Right here, near my grave, let’s hear it for Red Skelton! Red..” “God Bless and good night, Ed. | 1.1683 | 0.04682 | 101 | 88 | 9 | 4 |
2265 | And just last week I thought all the goodbyes were a drag. | 1.1683 | 0.04682 | 101 | 88 | 9 | 4 |
2266 | I thought she said go fly a CAT...... | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2267 | Hey Donny, it's your mother, make sure to wash behind your ears down here. | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2268 | Can someone read the tombstone and confirm a gender? | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2269 | Jesus,Earl. Leave me alone. | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2270 | I appreciate the offer: can you send them by instant burrowing? | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2271 | It's alive, it's alive, it's alive! | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2272 | My lean baby/She's so slim/Five feet seven/of Bones and Skin... | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2273 | For the last time, I have no WiFi. | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2274 | Hey Rip! My name is Rip | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2275 | Now just lay you down to sleep. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2276 | I'm tired of your "bone direction" joke, dad. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2277 | When they told me I have a face only a mother could love, I definitely wasn’t expecting this. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2278 | You always did " kill " with that material in your act. | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2279 | I just got here - I don't feel like doing the wave! | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2280 | Hi neighbor! Gee it's been a while since I've seen anyone. What's been going on out there in the last 50 years? Did they ever make anything useful out of computers? Do people still make good rock and roll music? How'd space travel ever pan out? | 1.1683 | 0.04238 | 101 | 86 | 13 | 2 |
2281 | Heaven or Hell, Judgement Day can't come soon enough. | 1.1683 | 0.03997 | 101 | 85 | 15 | 1 |
2282 | You must not have signed up for the American plan. | 1.1683 | 0.04465 | 101 | 87 | 11 | 3 |
2283 | Rest in Peace! Really??? | 1.1667 | 0.03708 | 102 | 85 | 17 | 0 |
2284 | I still can't get a moment of peace. | 1.1667 | 0.04199 | 102 | 87 | 13 | 2 |
2285 | Wow!, great embalming job. | 1.1667 | 0.04360 | 96 | 82 | 12 | 2 |
2286 | Nag, nag, nag! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2287 | How do you like the new digs? (from Chris Berryman, La Canada, CA) | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2288 | Let me get in and settled first before we chat. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2289 | They promised ‘until death do us part’ | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2290 | That's a great suit! The worms are gonna love it! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2291 | But everybody said I 'm nothing like my father! | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2292 | Where's the parting? I signed up for parting at death. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2293 | All I did was click "Dowload Low"! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2294 | I _told_ them I was allergic to those things! | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2295 | I'd like to get settled before I make new friends. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2296 | This sucks. They buried me in the wrong suit, and now I'm getting hit on by a skeleton. | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2297 | I don't remember signing up for the "afterlife option" on that dating site. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2298 | Is this some sort of a joke? | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2299 | If you're waiting to be taken to a better place - trust me, you'll be waiting a while | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2300 | Peace?! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2301 | Flowers for my President | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2302 | They buried the wrong guy. I was still talking. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2303 | Welcome to the deadborhood! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2304 | So what if I remarried? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2305 | Next time don't request Charity in lieu of Flowers. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2306 | It's a living! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2307 | Didn’t you ever read “Grave Expectations”? | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2308 | No thanks. I always said, 'I'll sleep when I'm dead,' and I'm sticking to it | 1.1649 | 0.03788 | 97 | 81 | 16 | 0 |
2309 | Words have consequences. Especially in a medical directive. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2310 | So many activities! It's making my head spin. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2311 | No, I don't want to come over and check out your upholstery. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2312 | Hey bro! Still remember me? | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2313 | Which one of our divorce attorneys screwed the paperwork up on this part of the property division? | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2314 | Could I bother you for a vase and some water? | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2315 | Buck up Matey, we're gonna stump the caption judges as much as readers are stumped by New Yorker cartoons and captions. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2316 | Am I dead, or do you just have an extreme case of anorexia? | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2317 | Oh, she didn't know I remarried! What would happen when my new wife joins us here---? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2318 | I was annoyed at first, too, that my casket doesn’t have a lid, but then I realized it makes it that much easier to stalk the earth haunting hapless victims. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2319 | This is just a skeleton of what I expected. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2320 | Hey friend, wake up and smell the roses! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2321 | Hey, sexy! You're looking good, especially considering you haven't even started decomposing. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2322 | I hate to be the one to tell you, but I never did get my pizza order. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2323 | This is NOT fake news | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2324 | What's shaken? You're still in costume. | 1.1649 | 0.03788 | 97 | 81 | 16 | 0 |
2325 | Hi! You must be the new neighbor! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2326 | Ah man, we vowed to part at death. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2327 | Even in death the insurance salesman is cold-calling me | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2328 | Hey there! Looking for a good tax shelter? | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2329 | It's just... I JUST felt the kiss of death and I don't think I'm ready to move on yet. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2330 | Hey! First day? Looks like you missed the memo about casual Friday! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2331 | Oh, now she decides to lose weight. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2332 | Do you want these flowers back? I prefer chocolates. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2333 | I know, I know, I know! You insulted Putin too. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2334 | Enough," I said | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2335 | Sigh, new neighbors are so friendly until they see my stuffed cat collection. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2336 | No, no, let me finish: it's simply not possible to be 'mansplained to death'. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2337 | Is he waving goodbye or hello ! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2338 | I told them I was just a suit” | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2339 | But who would want to live to be a hundred? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2340 | Stop whining and decompose yourself. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2341 | What part of "I'm a ISFP personality" does he not understand? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2342 | He's still an annoying neighbor. | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2343 | Helsinki Summit | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2344 | Please, I just came here to get some peace and quiet. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2345 | I usually bake a cake for new neighbors, but I ran out of flour. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2346 | Welcome to the neighborhood, pal | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2347 | Dude. DUDE! Enough about this Meuller guy. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2348 | not even till death do us part, sheesh! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2349 | We have a really big show tonight. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2350 | Hey, “until death do us part”, that was all I signed up for! | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2351 | Anyone got a cigarette? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2352 | It's not so bad. | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2353 | How old would you be had you lived ? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2354 | I'd rather be eaten by bugs. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2355 | Damn, I'm still overweight! | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2356 | First draft: "The Waving Dead" | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2357 | Stop rattling your bones, and let me rest in peace. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2358 | Don't know, maybe it's the anti-aging creams. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2359 | Who would have thought smoking six packs a day would kill me? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2360 | You couldn't get rid me that easy Harry! | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2361 | Look, I didn't know that skin was against the dress code here, okay? | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2362 | Trust me: After awhile it won't feel so cramped. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2363 | How many times do we have to go through this? I am not trying to drag this case out. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2364 | You're way overdressed... | 1.1649 | 0.03788 | 97 | 81 | 16 | 0 |
2365 | I dunno - maybe you're too skinny for me. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2366 | Howdy, freshman! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2367 | Yoo hoo, Jeffrey! It's Mr. Davies, your fourth grade teacher! Look how well you've done for yourself, even though you had such a hard time with fractions! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2368 | Our relationship has never been worse than it is now, however that changed as of about four hours ago. | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2369 | Does anyone question my dying loyalty? | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2370 | Do I look like a guy in a Pixar film? | 1.1649 | 0.04789 | 97 | 85 | 8 | 4 |
2371 | Obamacare Death Squads..... Who'da thought it ?..... | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2372 | Jimbo- It's me - Cousin Henry | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2373 | Hi neighbor | 1.1649 | 0.03788 | 97 | 81 | 16 | 0 |
2374 | But her emails! | 1.1649 | 0.04560 | 97 | 84 | 10 | 3 |
2375 | I'll have to decline, I'm buried with work. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2376 | Don't fret. It's just a matter of time. | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2377 | Take my wife, PLEASE! | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2378 | Yakkitty-yak, yakkitty -yak!... this endless talk is killin’ me | 1.1649 | 0.04318 | 97 | 83 | 12 | 2 |
2379 | Is it against the law to like a good set of bones on a woman? | 1.1649 | 0.04061 | 97 | 82 | 14 | 1 |
2380 | Mom stop! I can’t call my shrink from here | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2381 | Sorry I don't play Mah Jongg | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2382 | Now you offer me flowers! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2383 | How can anyone rest in peace with you rattling all them dry bones? | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2384 | Osteolibido. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2385 | Have we met before? | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2386 | It happened so fast--I was at a Summit--where were you | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2387 | No thanks, I'm going for zombie status. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2388 | Thank you, but I need at least a hundred years before another relationship. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2389 | It's time for you to bury your feelings for me! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2390 | Gone, but not fuhgottenabout. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2391 | Whataya know? I still got it! | 1.1596 | 0.03797 | 94 | 79 | 15 | 0 |
2392 | I’m taking tax fraud to a new level.” “But who’s gonna dig you out?” “The government, of course. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2393 | Those are dead. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2394 | I'm not ready to do this full-time. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2395 | Wait, I'm a newscaster. The "other side" is after a commercial. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2396 | Like they say, "Better late than never." | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2397 | Can't a guy get buried alive in peace anymore? | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2398 | Well I still can't tell you even though I said I'd take it to the grave. | 1.1596 | 0.04855 | 94 | 83 | 7 | 4 |
2399 | Proof life after death exists. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2400 | Marley, is that you? | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2401 | I thought I was suited for heaven. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2402 | Howdy! I'm Bones. What's your handle? | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2403 | Good luck, I am still waiting for a callback from AirBnB customer service. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2404 | I’m trying to rest in peace! | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2405 | Ugh, you're chatty. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2406 | Oh geeze, my agent didn't mention the annoying neighbor. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2407 | If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times – I don't need life insurance anymore! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2408 | Now I can finally Rest In Peace! | 1.1596 | 0.03797 | 94 | 79 | 15 | 0 |
2409 | Yoo hoo! I'm dying for a cigarette! | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2410 | You should’ve gone with the polyester. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2411 | I'm supposed to be resting in peace and so are you. | 1.1596 | 0.03797 | 94 | 79 | 15 | 0 |
2412 | I moved here for the peace and quiet. Instead, the chair of the garden committee wants me to help fertilize their tree. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2413 | I know. I know. A corpse. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2414 | You're lucky. You'll keep your nice suit. I'm buried under a real clothes tree! | 1.1596 | 0.04855 | 94 | 83 | 7 | 4 |
2415 | I don't know any Juliet! | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2416 | Hello neighbor! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2417 | I'm not the only one who's flipped my lid. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2418 | Of course, I get seated next to the guy without any pants. | 1.1596 | 0.05085 | 94 | 84 | 5 | 5 |
2419 | Hey buddy, you want to be my friend? I'll be your friend. Been dying here, if you know what I mean. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2420 | Come on that’s the first time I have seen a dead man offering more than one hand . What are you? From out of space? | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2421 | What was the weather like up there? | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2422 | Ah nuts...still here! Seems like ‘Immortal Attraction’ would have been a less misleading film title... | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2423 | peace" in our time | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2424 | Look lady, give it a rest - besides the obvious age difference, I want a woman with a little meat on her bones.... | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2425 | Be a smug bastard. I've got cryogenics | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2426 | Hey neighbor, don't despair. Trust the process. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2427 | I’m the one dressed up. Why is he so happy? | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2428 | I'm a member of Congress I was asleep at my desk, along with most of my pals, and suddenly . . . | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2429 | Buddy just because I'm dead doesn't mean I wanna talk to you even though you're a fucking sick-ass skeleton. | 1.1596 | 0.04855 | 94 | 83 | 7 | 4 |
2430 | You are not in Congress anymore. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2431 | Man: Great, buried alive! I could have stopped this, I was and still am alive! Pathetic, only a moron dies this way. Skeleton: Hello, I can hear every word you're saying! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2432 | Is it safe to come up now? | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2433 | I knew I’d take this romance to the grave... | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2434 | Wish I had known naked and open casket was an option! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2435 | Hey honey ! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2436 | This is like flying. We used to have more space. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2437 | STOP! All I want is peace and quiet. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2438 | You took my best, so why not take the rest.....BULLSHIT!!! | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2439 | I don't have to take this. This is my plot. Stop looking at me from afar and trying to engage in small talk or I am going to call the police. | 1.1596 | 0.04613 | 94 | 82 | 9 | 3 |
2440 | Mildred, you know I'm allergic to flowers. You'll be the death of me. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2441 | This time flowers donyorker.com/cartoons/contest?mbid=nl_Humor%20071718&CNDID=43105533&spMailingID=1 | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2442 | Sorry, man... I just got here myself. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2443 | Louis, it’s mom. I’m so disappointed you won’t be coming with the children this weekend. | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2444 | Even in death, I can't get away from you. | 1.1596 | 0.04088 | 94 | 80 | 13 | 1 |
2445 | A REALLY BIG show tonight, including Skeets Mcgillicutty playing the bones! | 1.1596 | 0.04358 | 94 | 81 | 11 | 2 |
2446 | Well it's not great to see you again! | 1.1591 | 0.04818 | 88 | 77 | 8 | 3 |
2447 | In suburban cemeteries,even death doesn't separate you from your neighbors. | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2448 | Look, this is what happens. | 1.1579 | 0.04568 | 95 | 83 | 9 | 3 |
2449 | I am president of the USA! They can't do this to me! | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2450 | If only you let me bite your neck back in the day ..... | 1.1579 | 0.04316 | 95 | 82 | 11 | 2 |
2451 | When you finally break through, come get me.... | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2452 | I told you I'm not here to make friends! | 1.1579 | 0.04316 | 95 | 82 | 11 | 2 |
2453 | Finally, some me time. | 1.1579 | 0.04807 | 95 | 84 | 7 | 4 |
2454 | "Welcome neighbor, you're not gonna really need a jacket after 6 pm. | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2455 | Yeah, I hear ya. Well, you might have been incel in life, but how about you start off death inskel? | 1.1579 | 0.04807 | 95 | 84 | 7 | 4 |
2456 | Hey new guy, welcome to the neighborhood | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2457 | Thanks for the flowers, but I look good because they stuffed & dressed me, not you. | 1.1579 | 0.04316 | 95 | 82 | 11 | 2 |
2458 | Two stiffs walk into a bar. Ouch! Ouch!" "Stop...you're killin me. | 1.1579 | 0.04048 | 95 | 81 | 13 | 1 |
2459 | Keep them. They go great with your clavicle. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2460 | You are such a show-off. Not everyone has decomposed yet. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2461 | This Corporate Mindfulness Training sis a bit macabre. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2462 | They’re not daisies but... Go for it!!! | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2463 | I like the way I look. George Zimmer guaranteed it. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2464 | Why do I always attract the skinny ones? | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2465 | Sorry lady, I am just not into the whole cougar thing. | 1.1538 | 0.03803 | 91 | 77 | 14 | 0 |
2466 | I’m not sure I’m ready for the welcome wagon quite yet. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2467 | Okay, okay, I know the tie doesn’t match. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2468 | I told the wife, It's not my fault. Women love men in a suit | 1.1538 | 0.03803 | 91 | 77 | 14 | 0 |
2469 | Bad news--you bought the farm without pre-approval from the bank | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2470 | Hello from the other side (Adele) | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2471 | It took you a while but here's your bouquet back. | 1.1538 | 0.04668 | 91 | 80 | 8 | 3 |
2472 | Here you go big spender. Welcome to purgatory! | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2473 | Even here I can't lose weight-what's your secret ? | 1.1538 | 0.03803 | 91 | 77 | 14 | 0 |
2474 | So I take it meal deliveries aren't reliable. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2475 | You should take your clothes off now - they won’t fit for long. | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2476 | The trick to staying alive is wanting to die. | 1.1538 | 0.04668 | 91 | 80 | 8 | 3 |
2477 | Sorry. I'm late. | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2478 | Well, there goes the neighborhood. | 1.1538 | 0.03803 | 91 | 77 | 14 | 0 |
2479 | I’m an attorney and I’m not dead either. Who’s in on a clas action suit? | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2480 | And, the weight loss is permanent. | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2481 | Oh, hey! HEY!!! Welcome neighbor! I've been waiting for someone to move in! There's sooo much to catch up on if you have the time! | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2482 | Sorry; my first wife was also the girl next door. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2483 | Boss knows there ‘s a plot alongside Tony, Sal and Paulie, and he puts me next to Liberace. Mamma Mia! | 1.1538 | 0.04112 | 91 | 78 | 12 | 1 |
2484 | Hey man, I don't date other corpses. | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2485 | Hi Pal...Don't despair. I tried to get recognition for my New Yorker caption submissions and never got a response either! | 1.1538 | 0.04399 | 91 | 79 | 10 | 2 |
2486 | There are neighbors down here too?! I would kill to have that tree in MY yard. | 1.1538 | 0.04668 | 91 | 80 | 8 | 3 |
2487 | Welcome to the only Guaranteed no-Trump Zone! | 1.1522 | 0.04070 | 92 | 79 | 12 | 1 |
2488 | Going my Way? | 1.1522 | 0.03765 | 92 | 78 | 14 | 0 |
2489 | Hi, you must be new in ground. | 1.1522 | 0.04070 | 92 | 79 | 12 | 1 |
2490 | Welcome home | 1.1522 | 0.04354 | 92 | 80 | 10 | 2 |
2491 | Damn it! I told them I wanted the blue suit! | 1.1522 | 0.04070 | 92 | 79 | 12 | 1 |
2492 | Got a cigarette | 1.1522 | 0.04620 | 92 | 81 | 8 | 3 |
2493 | Now I get why Shavasana is the hardest yoga pose! | 1.1522 | 0.03765 | 92 | 78 | 14 | 0 |
2494 | He made no bones about disliking chatty neighbors. | 1.1522 | 0.04354 | 92 | 80 | 10 | 2 |
2495 | trick or treat | 1.1522 | 0.04620 | 92 | 81 | 8 | 3 |
2496 | The priest lied, he said "tell death due us part" | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2497 | Come on man, stop moaning and take the hint. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2498 | what time is it | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2499 | I tried to swipe left! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2500 | I don't like the terms of this pre-lease. | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2501 | Now you aren//www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#thisweek?reload=true | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2502 | How long before I am picked to the bones? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2503 | Only my wife would dress me in my best suit!!? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2504 | Don't worry--you'll soon be in fashion. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2505 | Eh...Is it Caitlyn or Bruce? | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2506 | GOD! THIS is why I directed my attorney to bury me in my stretch limo. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2507 | Just great. Surrounded by cougars. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2508 | I have to take a presser in the afterlife? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2509 | I've had good "work done." | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2510 | They all told me I was on a 'diet to die for' " | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2511 | I’m just not ready for a commitment. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2512 | It's so nice of you to gift me with flowers, but I told you that you would lose the weight, all by yourself! | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2513 | It appears I'm getting an unexpected second opinion. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2514 | That's it! No more blind dates! | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2515 | Hi...Great timing... TGIF (thank God its forever!) | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2516 | Does this have anything to do with Harvey Weinstein? | 1.1477 | 0.04992 | 88 | 79 | 5 | 4 |
2517 | Stop complaining. The Walking Dead throw great parties - and you'll meet interesting people. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2518 | It's welcome to the underground. All dressed up and no place to go! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2519 | My name is Red Skeleton and I disapprove this cartoon! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2520 | Hey, do you validate parking? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2521 | Exactly, then I choked! | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2522 | For the last time, I don't want any life insurance... | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2523 | Hi, I'm Edgar Allan Poe. What's your name? | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2524 | I guess that’s why they say: « live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse. » | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2525 | Oh, I didn't mean this nineteenth hole! | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2526 | I can't accept, my wife will kill me. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2527 | What took you so long? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2528 | Boy this business is rough, I'm retelling ya... One minute I'm dying on the stage at Sir Yuks A lot next thing, my audience is reduced to a conversation starved Shelly Winters...a lotta woman. Now she's skin and bones minus the skin! Sheesh! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2529 | There was no mention of creepy neighbors. Alright, this is the last time I book on NoAirBnB. | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2530 | - I thought there's an afterlife.. - ditto! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2531 | Hello there, my son! Your boss fired you, isn't it? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2532 | No .. No .. I'm not really dead..!! I play a character on the "Young & the Restless" and I'll be back in a few weeks. | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2533 | I knew you were at that nude beach that day! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2534 | Why did I have to insist upon an open-casket burial, anyway? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2535 | I’m not arguing with a has- bin | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2536 | We're not on Facebook anymore, Harry. Would you give it a rest already? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2537 | Please! I need six more feet! | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2538 | Your fifty minutes are up!!!!!!!! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2539 | Im sorry. I’m just not physically attracted to you. | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2540 | Our lawyer said we should bury everything... | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2541 | They said this networking event wasn't as lively as others. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2542 | Yak, yak, yak, put q lid on it. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2543 | Long time no see. We need to get together more often. | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2544 | You take ONE nap... | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2545 | What? No Facebook? | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2546 | Who else feels like it's dead down here? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2547 | In the end, "Dress for Success" didn't change things all that much for you, did it? | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2548 | Be mine, till decomposition do us part. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2549 | You can have my flowers Mr President. Somebody loves you! | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2550 | Hey son! I told you that job would be the end of you. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2551 | Such small spaces, I can't even roll over. | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2552 | Quiet down over there! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2553 | Isn't this fun! | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2554 | Wish you could have seen my hot dress! | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2555 | I died before my time. You must be a Democrat. | 1.1477 | 0.04992 | 88 | 79 | 5 | 4 |
2556 | I guess i had things mixed up. I always thought the open-casket thing was temporary and that the death-deal was the thing that was permanent. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2557 | Good Night, Jimmy! | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2558 | Omg-will you still love me when I'm gone? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2559 | Why aren't you dead yet? | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2560 | Now I know why they call it a R.I.P tide. | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2561 | But I thought I knew where the bodies were buried. Over here, over here. | 1.1477 | 0.03804 | 88 | 75 | 13 | 0 |
2562 | No no.. i get it.. Stand up straight, facing downstage. Raise your arms above your head and clap once, then lunge to the left while facing forward and moving your head blah blah blah.. ...but.. Which One Is Michael? | 1.1477 | 0.04723 | 88 | 78 | 7 | 3 |
2563 | Stewart! I already told you not to knock before 9am! | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2564 | Dave had that dream again. | 1.1477 | 0.04438 | 88 | 77 | 9 | 2 |
2565 | Didn't quite catch that name, was it "Tex" or "Taxes"? | 1.1477 | 0.04133 | 88 | 76 | 11 | 1 |
2566 | I only regret that I had but one life to give for my company. | 1.1461 | 0.04391 | 89 | 78 | 9 | 2 |
2567 | Pace! Pace! | 1.1458 | 0.04437 | 96 | 85 | 8 | 3 |
2568 | Trust me - I didn't even have to give up carbs. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2569 | It's a really long ride! | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2570 | We're good right here .... no political discussions allowed. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2571 | How could I be here already? I’m only thirty-nine. | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2572 | So . . . we're really on this Lazy River forever? | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2573 | Too rich, too thin, AND too safe? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2574 | As Fate would have it, an honest politician was finally found. Sadly, he was buried alive because honesty was unacceptable, except to his biggest fan who waited years to find such a man. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2575 | Sorry man - can't help you. You're the one who wanted to be under the tree with those big roots. | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2576 | Don't you tell me about a bone you have to pick with me, I said ‘would’ instead of ‘wouldn’t and they bury me for that? | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2577 | The funeral home didn't tell me about the bare-bones option! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2578 | Listen, I know you’ve spent your whole life here, and this is a great neighborhood, but I expected at least SOME light for the rent I’m paying! And the WiFi? Forget it! | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2579 | When you are dead and burried you gain the ability to see through dirt. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2580 | Are you gonna talk me to , uh, what's after death? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2581 | Sorry, I don't date older women. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2582 | Turf's up | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2583 | Don't worry. This is the only diet guaranteed to work forever. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2584 | For anytime the moment is right | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2585 | Don’t you think it’s a little late for “I’m sorry”? | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2586 | No talking ! I know the rules. I've been here longer than you. | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2587 | Rumored to be considering a reboot, Sullivan and Wences had this to say, “Tsaright, Tsaright.” | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2588 | They're hand fashioned, yet bone dry... What took you so long? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2589 | Didn't you read the headstone, man? Can't a guy actually rest in peace? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2590 | This is a grave situation, I could use some help. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2591 | Hey, hey, hey! Quiet down. This is Woodlawn. There are already enough gabby politicians here! | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2592 | I won't be needing these! | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2593 | Please stop asking if you can knock the wall down. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2594 | Would you prefer the bottom bunk, then? | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2595 | No I won’t be your Valentine and those were my flowers in the first place!! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2596 | Aaaand they buried me next to Urkel. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2597 | We have nudists here too. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2598 | I'm not really dead, I'm just avoiding the news. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2599 | These napping pods really are restorative, don’t you think? | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2600 | Yes, I have lost weight, thank you. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2601 | Oh no!I get to spend eternity next to a liberal democrat! | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2602 | Hey, welcome to the neighborhood. Do you like monster trucks? I do, Grave Digger is my favorite. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2603 | What did I do to deserve this? They put me next to my ex-wife. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2604 | Why'd I have to get buried next to that Great Aunt I met once? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2605 | Hello, I'm trying to rest in peace here? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2606 | Calm down Debbie! Yes I see you waving. | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2607 | No bones about it..it's cold without clothes! | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2608 | Sick | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2609 | No respect, I tell ya.. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2610 | Yes, I just moved in. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2611 | Hi, I'm not into looks. I don't have eyeballs! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2612 | Can a guy get some Rest In Peace and quiet around here?!? | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2613 | It's impossible to get a little peace and quiet these days | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2614 | I can't get peace & quiet ANYWHERE! | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2615 | Can't I die in peace? | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2616 | I wish I had spent more time watching the Office. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2617 | I’m so sick of all the crypt calling in this graveyard, just because I have flash everyone gets their bones rattling!!! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2618 | Hey, I can't afford to lose that much weight. | 1.1412 | 0.04779 | 85 | 76 | 6 | 3 |
2619 | Sure, it's easy for you to be happy -- You're rent-controlled! | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2620 | Hey! Quit your complaining. You'll get used to it after awhile. | 1.1412 | 0.04476 | 85 | 75 | 8 | 2 |
2621 | The tombstones say RIP, rest in peace, so bug off! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2622 | Don’t interrupt; I’m not done! | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2623 | Howdy neighbor. So nice to see a fresh face. | 1.1412 | 0.04152 | 85 | 74 | 10 | 1 |
2624 | Ok. So, it will be a little rougher on you with all the ants and termites! | 1.1412 | 0.03799 | 85 | 73 | 12 | 0 |
2625 | That's the last time I ghost a Bumble date. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2626 | Flores por los despitados. Flores por los despitados.... | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2627 | Too little, too late! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2628 | Say, I was wondering when you were going to move in. Welcome to the neighborhood! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2629 | I can't even Rest In Peace here!!?? | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2630 | For Heaven sakes, don’t act like you now me. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2631 | Don't worry. Eventually we all get back to our roots. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2632 | “Welcome onboard, now layback and leave the dieting to them above.” | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2633 | How am I supposed to Rest in Peace? This bonehead won't stop talking. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2634 | You have to do better than flowers, John! #metoo | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2635 | Two men in a boat? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2636 | Hell, no, I was Scroll and Key. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2637 | Hell no I can't rest in peace, but at least I can route a piss. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2638 | Oh God...Not again....I’m just gonna play dead | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2639 | I'm not here to make friends or influence skeletons. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2640 | Sorry about these flowers, but everything around here is bare bones. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2641 | All I got was this stinking wooden box. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2642 | I hate pushy neighbors. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2643 | The deep state will rise and win | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2644 | Dr. Tarnower, I've been dying to tell you my improvements to your Scaresdale Diet! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2645 | What do I have to do, to rest in peace. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2646 | I'm afraid that there is nothing else I can do. Life insurance of definitely off the table. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2647 | Hey, Buddy, Your Jokes Are Killing Over Here! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2648 | I've tried rolling over but can you please keep it quiet over there? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2649 | I was only following orders. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2650 | The IRS said I was “creative” too. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2651 | Say, hiya Irv -- haven't seen you since you were dying in the Catskills! | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2652 | Trump and Pence still poised for 2064 campaign | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2653 | They say skinless is healthier. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2654 | This isn’t a share ride. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2655 | You always had to be first at everything Mortimer. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2656 | You’ve got to be kidding me, Brenda. Til death do us part. We agreed! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2657 | Hi Honey! I’ve been waiting so long for you. Now we have forever together... | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2658 | It’s so liberating, No tendons and ligaments to restrict me. Ron Douglas, Longmont,CO | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2659 | See you later. I'm not sticking around in this hole. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2660 | I can't see who you are without my glasses. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2661 | That was then; this is now | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2662 | You still think you’re better than me? | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2663 | This is what follows being Secretary of State? | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2664 | So what part of that oath didn't you understand? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2665 | My clothes will be off soon enough. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2666 | He’s a good guy... his wardrobe is just a little bare-bones. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2667 | Would you stop the rattling, grabdma?! You should have specified you wanted to be cremated. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2668 | Is there a card? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2669 | Hello, don't I know you from somewhere? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2670 | Did you bring any milk? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2671 | Just my luck. A new friend request but no phone. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2672 | I guess that line in the vows was important. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2673 | How appropriate - these flowers for you are as dead as you are. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2674 | Hi friend! What brings you here? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2675 | I swear they said it was the Garden of Halos. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2676 | Sorry, I'm not into cougars. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2677 | Knock it off! I want to Rest In Peace. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2678 | Alright, alright--what is it about PEACE that some of you stiffs will never get? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2679 | I've been laying here for a while wondering what it would be like to visit with the dead. Yoo-Hoo! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2680 | Am I being detained? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2681 | I can't do stand up comedy anymore! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2682 | Honey, I am afraid to say, I am not so glad to see you! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2683 | That joke is so old I saw Fatty Arbuckle tell it. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2684 | Sorry, I didn't know it was a flesh-optional zone. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2685 | Look, I'm not interested. I'm dead. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2686 | I'm sorry, Amanda, but I've moved on. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2687 | The thing above the graveyard shift is you’ve got to go down 6 floors. Other than that it’s not so bad. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2688 | Hey! Guess how many fingers am I holding up? | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2689 | Hey, look over here pal.I know it sucks but at least they fixed you up with a nice suit. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2690 | Sorry, thought you were sleeping. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2691 | Look, we’re bunkies and nothing more. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2692 | Grow something more than flowers , Sweetie. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2693 | Not again! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2694 | It's a great place to lose weight. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2695 | Because plastic is forever, honey. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2696 | Hi! Is there anything I can do to not look like you? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2697 | I 'm not sure exactly why either, but I know we have always aged gracefully. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2698 | Hey! Aren't you that guy from high school voted most likely to succeed? | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2699 | Hiya George! Aren’t ya a bit overdressed? | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2700 | Sorry, I don't play gin. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2701 | He's a corpse because he's dead. I like corpses that aren't dead. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2702 | Hey there! You got what you deserved for voting for Trump. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2703 | You can have these. When you've been down here as long as I have flowers don't hold the same meaning. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2704 | Amor... E... Morte... | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2705 | If you say will power one more time, I'll scream | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2706 | Hey buddy what's your cell phone number? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2707 | Please! Don't go! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2708 | All I did was say I didnt like the World Cup and now my best friend is a skeleton | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2709 | Don't freak out! Stay with me, stay with me! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2710 | As one bonehead to another, glad to have aboard! | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2711 | Hello from the other siiiide... | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2712 | Yeah! This is a good place for the hide and seek contest. They’re still looking For me! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2713 | Oh great, I presume you have another deadline. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2714 | Of course I'm happy we're together again...said no one ever. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2715 | EVERYONE is right post hoc about term vs. whole life! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2716 | I need a few more years to get the hang of this... | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2717 | Sure, Love can transcend Death, but political outrage? | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2718 | I don't get it. They said "Until 120" so I took 120 vitamins a day -- and here I am. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2719 | Your turn to go get the pizza. | 1.1395 | 0.03758 | 86 | 74 | 12 | 0 |
2720 | Remarried three times, but I guess love really never dies. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2721 | That's not what I call "resting in peace". | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2722 | Is that your best suit? Big mistake. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2723 | Just trying to be friendly to a newcomer. I'd say "suit yourself" but I see you've already done that. | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2724 | Don't worry, the worms and the ants are on their way! | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2725 | The view from the in-ground Coffin-Cam | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2726 | I am feeling very existential. Hey, over here, you are not alone! | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |
2727 | Hey, Buddy. Sprouting wings gives everybody back spasms. You’ll be fine. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2728 | Hey dude, Welcome. Here life is beautiful with no commitment. | 1.1395 | 0.04726 | 86 | 77 | 6 | 3 |
2729 | Hello. Welcome to the deep state. | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2730 | no cable? | 1.1395 | 0.04106 | 86 | 75 | 10 | 1 |
2731 | Too shy to bare it all | 1.1395 | 0.04427 | 86 | 76 | 8 | 2 |