Contest #623


Cartoon

623

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Sir, I don't make the laws of gravity, I just enforce them.”
  2. “Does he know ‘down’?”
  3. “Can I borrow that? I’ve got to get a cat out of a tree.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-07-15T22:53:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-07-15T22:54:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-07-23T22:53:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 30, 2018
Number of captions 6432
Number of responses 971088
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You better hope that was rain I just felt." 2.1204 0.00739 10403 2403 4344 3656
1 It's a park. He's on a leash. What's it to you? 2.0436 0.00910 7202 1996 2896 2310
2 Okay, but if he starts sniffing their tails he has to leave. 1.9805 0.00782 10188 3278 3831 3079
3 Have you tried saying, "Down, boy"? 1.9322 0.00806 8968 2938 3700 2330
4 He's a beagle, but he claims the "b" is silent. 1.9283 0.00875 8304 2957 2985 2362
5 Sir, are you suggesting that someone else's kite pooped on the lawn? 1.9240 0.00892 7798 2739 2913 2146
6 Skye terrier or Airedale? 1.9114 0.00897 7552 2658 2905 1989
7 Can I borrow that? I’ve got to get a cat out of a tree. 1.9083 0.00865 8160 2898 3112 2150
8 I don't think you appreciate the gravity of the situation. 1.8825 0.00867 8307 3141 3001 2165
9 Sir, did you leave a kite at the dog park by any chance? 1.8674 0.00871 7936 2982 3024 1930
10 Sticking his head out the car window just doesn't do the trick for him anymore. 1.8381 0.01030 5424 2071 2160 1193
11 But my dog IS on a leash 1.8357 0.00837 8180 3128 3268 1784
12 He's a bird dog. 1.8336 0.00948 6743 2697 2471 1575
13 Sorry, sir, dog days are in August 1.8322 0.01354 3368 1370 1193 805
14 No no, it’s let sleeping dogs LIE 1.8265 0.01612 2426 1011 825 590
15 Any chance you can do that with a pig? My wife would have to let me get a motorcycle if you could. 1.8171 0.01076 5707 2502 1747 1458
16 Do you realize your kite's in the car with the window cracked open? 1.7959 0.00910 7334 3130 2571 1633
17 No, dogs are welcome. But we do enforce the laws of physics. 1.7956 0.00955 6629 2818 2348 1463
18 The sign only said, “No dogs on grass.” 1.7865 0.00925 6505 2654 2586 1265
19 Sir, all dogs go to heaven, it's time to let go. 1.7786 0.01025 5701 2478 2007 1216
20 I can't even get mine to sit! 1.7712 0.00972 6057 2584 2275 1198
21 Gravity isn't just a theory in this town, sir. It's the law. 1.7650 0.01117 4864 2182 1643 1039
22 He's still learning "down." 1.7490 0.01288 3334 1446 1279 609
23 The leash law isn't the problem. I'm worried about how good a catch you are with that little plastic bag. 1.7421 0.01122 4618 2090 1629 899
24 This is a New Yorker cartoon, Sir, not a Far Side. 1.7391 0.01230 4185 2013 1251 921
25 The second he starts marking his territory you're outta here. 1.7325 0.01104 4433 1948 1723 762
26 "We're getting complaints from people with absolutely no imagination." 1.7243 0.01297 3471 1624 1180 667
27 C'mon man, it's a therapy kite. 1.7167 0.02156 1313 639 407 267
28 They said he's too high-strung for the dog park. 1.7127 0.01273 3557 1682 1215 660
29 Sir, I don't make the laws of gravity, I just enforce them. 1.7081 0.01196 4049 1935 1361 753
30 In addition to violating the leash law, sir, you’re also in violation of Newton’s first, second and third laws of motion. 1.7048 0.01511 2622 1286 824 512
31 Everyone always says 'sit.' No one ever thinks to say 'fly.' 1.6941 0.01459 2824 1413 862 549
32 I hope that you walked him first? 1.6812 0.02437 1101 591 270 240
33 We’re going to need you to pick up after your kite. 1.6661 0.02087 1183 568 442 173
34 LIMERICK: There once was a dog name of Spot....Got a hold of a whole lotta pot...It got him so high...He thought he could fly...And now, I can't get him to stop. 1.6564 0.01224 4028 2145 1122 761
35 I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re going to have to put him down. 1.6471 0.01796 1839 984 520 335
36 You need to clean up after your kite. 1.6408 0.01468 2447 1242 842 363
37 Sir, when I said your dog couldn't set foot in this park again... 1.6365 0.01365 2641 1304 993 344
38 Honestly, this is more believable than the recent election... 1.6334 0.01617 2275 1246 617 412
39 Sorry sir, support kites are not permitted in this park 1.6281 0.01292 3232 1696 1042 494
40 Yes, sir. I'm quite sure it's not just a passing sprinkle. 1.6190 0.01454 2404 1243 834 327
41 I don't care how he identifies, sir. 1.6144 0.02344 1058 590 286 182
42 I know what you’re thinking, Officer. Why is this guy wearing a jacket in July? 1.6130 0.01545 2323 1267 688 368
43 For the record, we don't allow kites in the dog park either. 1.6093 0.01427 2434 1264 857 313
44 Sir, just because it has a tail, doesn’t make it a kite... 1.5972 0.01847 1482 793 493 196
45 Your dog is high as a kite. 1.5867 0.01895 1575 905 416 254
46 I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation. 1.5786 0.01607 2024 1135 607 282
47 We're doing K-9 training over there, and I believe your little fella may have gotten into the drug sniffing kit. 1.5768 0.01826 1621 926 455 240
48 If I let one person violate the laws of physics, soon everyone will. 1.5730 0.01998 1335 762 381 192
49 Does he know DOWN? 1.5696 0.01330 2637 1427 918 292
50 Unless this is Thanksgiving and your name’s Macy, you’re coming with me. 1.5633 0.01681 1800 1022 542 236
51 Dog catcher? No. I'm from the FAA. 1.5568 0.01826 1487 844 458 185
52 Can he do any tricks? 1.5524 0.01628 1984 1164 544 276
53 Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to go fly a kite. 1.5488 0.01563 2256 1360 554 342
54 His addiction started when we let him stick his head out of the car window. 1.5452 0.01424 2392 1371 738 283
55 I don't care if it is an emotional support kite, it's not allowed here. 1.5421 0.01486 2341 1386 641 314
56 No problem. He's an Airedale. 1.5401 0.01443 2307 1328 712 267
57 Is he an Airedale or a Skye Terrier? 1.5344 0.01784 1568 926 446 196
58 That'd better be rain I'm feeling. 1.5336 0.02445 804 468 243 93
59 No,sir,the saying is let sleeping dogs lie. 1.5304 0.01725 1708 1023 464 221
60 It's the damnedest thing. He always used to chase the helium truck and then one day he caught it. 1.5240 0.01727 1666 999 461 206
61 I told you last time. Curb your dog. 1.5207 0.01753 1736 1078 412 246
62 I thought I would let sleeping dogs fly. 1.5200 0.01710 1729 1051 457 221
63 Glad to see you have him on a leash today. 1.5167 0.02462 720 415 238 67
64 Be sure to clean up after your kite. 1.5128 0.01762 1527 915 441 171
65 The man in the open convertible would like to have a word with you. 1.5126 0.01768 1467 868 446 153
66 Land Rover! 1.5104 0.02203 1105 699 248 158
67 Investigating reports of a dog chasing kites. Seen anything? 1.5095 0.01733 1468 860 468 140
68 Did you just come from the vet, because you're dog is high as a kite. 1.5068 0.01888 1405 869 360 176
69 I don't care if he is IS an airedale. 1.5050 0.02810 606 369 168 69
70 Nice work. I can't even get mine to stop drinking out of the toilet. 1.5026 0.02053 1134 693 312 129
71 Pigs, sir. When pigs will fly. 1.5023 0.01859 1314 788 392 134
72 Sir, we've received complaints of a howling wind. 1.5010 0.03099 521 325 131 65
73 Well, for starters, the law of gravity. 1.5004 0.02057 1145 706 305 134
74 Excuse me sir - is that an Airedale? 1.5004 0.01926 1267 772 356 139
75 She’ll have to come down sir, she’s higher than a kite. 1.5004 0.01955 1275 788 336 151
76 Ignoring the sign is one thing, but willfully ignoring the laws of gravity, mister, is another. 1.5000 0.01980 1256 780 324 152
77 And how long ago did he eat the brownies, sir? 1.4996 0.01962 1263 781 333 149
78 Having a tail doesn't make it a kite! 1.4996 0.01936 1255 766 351 138
79 No, sir- - it’s when pigs fly. 1.4984 0.01958 1236 758 340 138
80 Sorry sir, no Emotional Support Kites allowed. 1.4971 0.01996 1221 758 319 144
81 I think we both know what's up. 1.4923 0.02986 522 321 145 56
82 You are required to pick up after your kite. 1.4919 0.01963 1118 669 348 101
83 It's important he gets the scent right away. After 24 hrs these missing kites are almost impossible to find. 1.4916 0.02051 1127 699 302 126
84 Is that were a pig it would explain Trump's election. 1.4912 0.02097 1140 723 274 143
85 He's a little gassy today 1.4859 0.02119 1029 638 282 109
86 Man kites dog 1.4856 0.02208 1044 672 237 135
87 Actually, the barking is not what people are complaining about. 1.4835 0.02805 575 355 162 58
88 Got a report of some guy walking his dog in the park, against regulations. You seen anything? 1.4833 0.02189 987 620 257 110
89 Sir, I know that wasn't rain 1.4810 0.02098 1000 614 291 95
90 He saw a flying squirrel. 1.4795 0.02290 953 615 219 119
91 Sir, people can barely cope with birds pooping on them. 1.4789 0.02334 950 622 201 127
92 It turns out old dogs CAN learn new tricks. 1.4784 0.02173 924 568 270 86
93 Is there a reason he's not wearing a collar? 1.4782 0.02118 964 591 285 88
94 He's my seeing eye dog. I'm just taking a look around. 1.4770 0.02282 933 598 225 110
95 It was on his bucket list. 1.4767 0.02427 772 483 210 79
96 Sir, there’s a leash law and the law of gravity. I’m fining you for both. 1.4762 0.02345 905 586 207 112
97 I've had complaints that you're not picking up after your kite. 1.4755 0.02217 898 557 255 86
98 Stickin' his head out the car window not enough?" 1.4753 0.02152 930 572 274 84
99 That's right. And we also require a permit to fly fish. 1.4725 0.02426 819 527 197 95
100 Pretty good with such a short tail. 1.4713 0.02167 887 543 270 74
101 Well officer... what exactly does it look like I am doing? 1.4675 0.02256 847 528 242 77
102 First they told me no flying kites at the dog park and now you're telling me no flying dogs at the kite park. Where am I suppose to fly this guy? 1.4671 0.02353 805 508 218 79
103 We're looking for a missing dog. Seen anything suspicious? 1.4658 0.02293 805 500 235 70
104 Yes sir, I am absolutely certain that it was not one of the other kites that pooped. 1.4652 0.02462 791 514 186 91
105 He ain't nothin' but a hound dog, flyin' all the time. 1.4652 0.02610 718 470 162 86
106 I think your dog has gas. 1.4646 0.02405 790 505 203 82
107 The saying is, "Let sleeping dogs LIE." 1.4643 0.02402 812 524 199 89
108 Before I give you a citation: How DOES that doggie in the wind blow? 1.4635 0.02492 781 511 178 92
109 I’m sorry, sir... only service-animal kites are permitted in this park. 1.4612 0.02457 761 490 191 80
110 Sir, your dog seems rather high-strung. 1.4607 0.02733 610 392 155 63
111 Even if it is a Skye Terrier you still have to use the dog park. 1.4599 0.02362 748 467 218 63
112 SPCA? I'm actually here with the FAA. 1.4595 0.02417 766 490 200 76
113 I'm taking him out for some air. 1.4578 0.02403 723 453 209 61
114 Well, tell him to hold it. We're getting complaints. 1.4570 0.02393 744 470 208 66
115 I'm sorry, sir, but it's against park rules to let sleeping dogs fly. 1.4558 0.02497 735 477 181 77
116 The high-pitched bark is from helium. He'll be coming down any second now. 1.4543 0.02466 700 444 194 62
117 I'll need to see his rabies tag, shot records, and pilot's license. 1.4495 0.02495 654 412 190 52
118 In this park disobeying the laws of physics is strictly prohibited. 1.4495 0.02623 663 434 160 69
119 I'm sorry, Sir. But this park is only for right-handed people. I'll have to ask you to leave. 1.4487 0.02645 673 446 152 75
120 He just doesn’t identify as a dog anymore 1.4484 0.02433 678 426 200 52
121 I'm sorry, sir, but the law of gravity applies to everyone. 1.4478 0.02560 670 434 172 64
122 Have you tried Down Boy? 1.4471 0.02501 662 421 186 55
123 He likes the tail wind. 1.4458 0.02579 637 409 172 56
124 Sir, All dogs go to heaven. Just let go! 1.4458 0.02672 655 435 148 72
125 My wife said I’ll win the Caption Contest when dogs fly. 1.4438 0.02744 640 431 134 75
126 Sorry, but that's just not going to fly. 1.4393 0.02667 610 399 154 57
127 Now we’ve talked about this sort of thing before, Governor Romney. 1.4378 0.02809 603 408 126 69
128 The dog park is open now. Thanks for waiting. 1.4376 0.02685 601 394 151 56
129 Technically, officer, this IS a leash. 1.4376 0.02514 601 378 183 40
130 I can see he's an airedale,sir, but you still can't do that. 1.4365 0.02769 591 394 136 61
131 Airedale, right? 1.4365 0.02696 591 387 150 54
132 Someone with a squirrel kite wants you to leave. 1.4356 0.02634 590 381 161 48
133 Well all the PETA folks get mad when I leave him in the car. 1.4355 0.02684 581 378 153 50
134 May I suggest that you just mix some beano in with his kibble. 1.4338 0.02773 574 381 137 56
135 What do you expect me to do? There was no wind at the dog park. 1.4328 0.02653 573 370 158 45
136 I don't care if he identifies as a kite. 1.4314 0.02897 561 382 116 63
137 His dog license is fine - I need see to his pilot's license. 1.4301 0.02761 551 362 141 48
138 He's more bark than kite. 1.4299 0.02767 556 367 139 50
139 And you walked your dog before you flew him, right? 1.4291 0.02600 543 343 167 33
140 What do you mean "define kite"? 1.4291 0.02824 550 367 130 53
141 It's pissing in the wind we're worried about 1.4266 0.03003 511 348 108 55
142 I think your dog's eating too much fiber. 1.4264 0.03020 530 367 100 63
143 'Rain' is not yellow... 1.4259 0.02939 526 357 114 55
144 Try introducing new kibble gradually. Makes them less gassy. 1.4253 0.02951 529 361 111 57
145 He identifies as a kite 1.4253 0.02815 529 350 133 46
146 Well, SOMEONE'S kite peed on my head. 1.4239 0.02967 519 354 110 55
147 Try a shorter leash. 1.4237 0.02826 498 325 135 38
148 How convenient. The tail came with it. 1.4236 0.02780 517 338 139 40
149 My dog is on a leash. 1.4236 0.02614 517 326 163 28
150 Just be careful of flying squirrels. When they're around it's like the kite has a mind of its own. 1.4225 0.04200 258 176 55 27
151 Yes sir, I realize that he's not actually touching the park. But there are still no dogs allowed. 1.4221 0.02850 488 319 132 37
152 This levity doesn’t detract from the gravity of your situation 1.4213 0.03000 508 348 106 54
153 Sir, I'm afraid I'm standing in the reason I stopped you for! 1.4209 0.02889 506 338 123 45
154 That'd better be an emotional support kite. 1.4194 0.02831 496 326 132 38
155 Because no one else's kite has genitalia, that's why! 1.4161 0.03056 483 332 101 50
156 It was fight or flight. 1.4161 0.02999 483 328 109 46
157 He ate all my marijuana brownies. 1.4161 0.02999 483 328 109 46
158 He’s dreaming. 1.4161 0.02955 483 325 115 43
159 We only allow pigs to fly here, Sir. 1.4161 0.03749 298 200 72 26
160 Hey Bub...Gravity..it's not just a suggestion...it's the law! 1.4147 0.03034 475 324 105 46
161 If he tries to mark his territory again, I’ll have to ask you to leave. 1.4144 0.02939 473 316 118 39
162 Officer, let’s let sleeping dogs fly! 1.4136 0.03047 469 320 104 45
163 Its hard to keep a good dog down. 1.4136 0.02940 469 313 118 38
164 I see you finally got your kite fixed. 1.4129 0.03095 465 320 98 47
165 He's just always been kind of a free spirit. 1.4118 0.02919 459 304 121 34
166 I don't CARE if he THINKS he's a kite. 1.4116 0.02882 464 306 125 33
167 The lady with the hydrant balloon already left. 1.4113 0.02970 462 310 114 38
168 Try it more authoritatively, “Down, boy.” 1.4105 0.03067 458 313 102 43
169 I believe the sign says “No dogs ON the lawn” 1.4105 0.02890 458 302 124 32
170 If you love him, let him go. 1.4098 0.03029 449 303 108 38
171 Of course I remember you, sir. Your kite urinated on my leg last Sunday. 1.4093 0.03047 452 307 105 40
172 All bark and no kite, huh? 1.4085 0.03098 448 307 99 42
173 Wait. No. The man I'm looking for was flying a collie. 1.4077 0.03069 444 302 103 39
174 It's less a leash law violation and more of an air drop concern. 1.4064 0.03029 438 295 108 35
175 Sir, it's obvious from here that your dog is not neutered. 1.4064 0.03197 438 305 88 45
176 I don't care if he's 'above the law.' 1.4064 0.03098 438 299 100 39
177 And that's a service kite, right? 1.4055 0.02960 434 288 116 30
178 Not only are you flouting the rules, you are wantonly defying gravity 1.4052 0.03136 427 292 97 38
179 I'm investigating some missing helium. 1.4051 0.03023 432 290 109 33
180 Whaddaya mean he doesn't know the command "down boy? 1.4038 0.03105 426 290 100 36
181 Mr. Larson, for the last time there will be no Far Side shenanigans in this park. 1.4029 0.03207 407 279 92 36
182 We were playing Frisbee at the dog park and he just took off. 1.4028 0.02935 427 282 118 27
183 She got into the helium again? 1.4024 0.03162 425 293 93 39
184 This wasn't what I had in mind when I asked you to keep him off the grass. 1.4021 0.03153 388 260 100 28
185 Please curb your kite, sir. 1.4019 0.03047 423 285 106 32
186 So, you're telling me that this is a service kite. 1.4019 0.03208 423 294 88 41
187 Bird dog? 1.4019 0.03137 423 290 96 37
188 What did you feed him? He's as high as a kite! 1.4014 0.03129 421 288 97 36
189 I flew a cat for a while, but putting a leash on it just looked ridiculous 1.4010 0.03264 419 294 82 43
190 I don't care if it is an Airedale, you can't fly it here. 1.4010 0.03085 419 284 102 33
191 I’m going to have to book you for violating the laws of physics. 1.4010 0.03010 419 280 110 29
192 I know he's paper trained. That's why the kite flyers are complaining. 1.4000 0.03428 380 267 74 39
193 I'm more interested in why than how, sir. 1.4000 0.03215 415 288 88 39
194 Sorry, sir. Only pigs are allowed. 1.3995 0.03134 413 282 97 34
195 Sir, we don't allow mixed metaphors here..." 1.3980 0.03259 407 284 84 39
196 You say it’s a kite string; I say it’s a leash. 1.3980 0.03165 407 279 94 34
197 He’s my seeing high dog. 1.3980 0.03314 407 287 78 42
198 Are you aware of the six foot leash limit? 1.3980 0.03028 407 272 108 27
199 The difference between President Trump and a flying dog is the letter the F. 1.3970 0.03535 403 296 54 53
200 My head says put him down, but my heart says to just let him go. 1.3970 0.03068 403 271 104 28
201 Well it’s a fight-or-flight response. 1.3960 0.03208 399 275 90 34
202 He’s a lighter-than-Airedale. 1.3955 0.03078 397 267 103 27
203 Well, yes sir, the sign does say 'No dogs on the grass'... 1.3955 0.03057 397 266 105 26
204 In this town, we obey the laws of physics. 1.3944 0.03321 393 276 79 38
205 Look, buddy, we’ll be lucky at this point if Gary Larson doesn’t sue us. 1.3937 0.03355 381 267 78 36
206 I don’t give a flying Shih Tzu what breed it is sir. 1.3933 0.03203 389 267 91 31
207 Can I go next? 1.3933 0.03264 389 270 85 34
208 Can you try to keep him from sniffing the other kite's tails? 1.3928 0.03296 387 270 82 35
209 No, I never heard of a Lighter Than Airedale Terrier. 1.3922 0.03204 385 264 91 30
210 You are not in violation of the leash law; the problem is with the law of gravity. 1.3922 0.03267 385 267 85 33
211 Sir, I'm afraid we're going to have to insist that you obey the law of gravity. 1.3911 0.03183 381 260 93 28
212 I don't care if he is a bird dog. 1.3911 0.03311 381 266 81 34
213 Well, Mr. Milan, you are in fact one hell of a dog trainer. 1.3911 0.03227 381 262 89 30
214 Sorry Officer; my dog thinks he's above it all. 1.3905 0.03323 379 265 80 34
215 Your kite has been sniffing the other kites' tails. 1.3905 0.03344 379 266 78 35
216 I don't care for the way you are defying the laws of physics, sir 1.3899 0.03228 377 259 89 29
217 Your kite just peed on my shoes" 1.3899 0.03250 377 260 87 30
218 Sir, I'm afraid gravity is the law around here. 1.3893 0.03217 375 257 90 28
219 You're scaring the other kites. 1.3887 0.03184 373 254 93 26
220 Sir, you're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity. 1.3887 0.03360 373 262 77 34
221 Sir, this isn't what your vet meant when she said "he needs more air" 1.3887 0.03251 373 257 87 29
222 Is that a bird dog? 1.3885 0.03203 381 262 90 29
223 Show me a sign saying “no balloon animals”. 1.3881 0.03351 371 260 78 33
224 Technically, he’s still on the grass 1.3881 0.03307 371 258 82 31
225 Technically, the dog is not in the park. 1.3869 0.03194 367 250 92 25
226 Look, it was cute when you flew the pig, but I'm not seeing the joke here. 1.3864 0.03407 352 246 76 30
227 I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you for breaking the laws of physics. 1.3863 0.03344 365 255 79 31
228 I'm going to overlook this simply because I don't have a box to check off for it. 1.3860 0.03327 342 234 84 24
229 You must be the man who mistook his dog for a kite. 1.3857 0.03379 363 255 76 32
230 Sorry sir, but we enforce the law of gravity in this park. 1.3857 0.03310 363 252 82 29
231 No, sir. Giving out poop bags for people to wear on their heads is not the solution. 1.3857 0.03287 363 251 84 28
232 I'm sorry, but that's against the law of gravity. 1.3850 0.03323 361 251 81 29
233 He's always been light on his feet. 1.3850 0.03323 361 251 81 29
234 Keep your distance from the kid with the fire hydrant kite. 1.3844 0.03335 359 250 80 29
235 I see he takes his work as a bird dog very seriously. 1.3838 0.03300 357 247 83 27
236 If it looks like a Dog, howls like a Dog, and has a tail like a Dog, it's not a Kite. 1.3836 0.03059 365 244 102 19
237 That was not rain. 1.3824 0.03373 353 247 77 29
238 Well, yes, it does have a tail. 1.3824 0.03227 353 241 89 23
239 But he's not off leash. 1.3818 0.03110 351 235 98 18
240 We're looking for a man with glasses, a baseball cap, and a dog. Let us know if you see anything. 1.3811 0.03399 349 245 75 29
241 Max would stop at nothing to prove he was indeed a good boy. 1.3800 0.03668 300 211 64 25
242 Sir, that's not really what they mean by bird dog. 1.3797 0.03249 345 236 87 22
243 I guess you can teach them new tricks. 1.3790 0.03414 343 241 74 28
244 This is against the Law of Gravity. 1.3790 0.03439 343 242 72 29
245 We've been getting complaints from PETA AND Neil Degrasse Tyson... 1.3785 0.03520 325 229 69 27
246 I guess he is technically on a leash!! 1.3783 0.03138 341 229 95 17
247 They said the same thing about Trump getting elected. 1.3778 0.03570 315 222 67 26
248 He's not a kite, he's blimpadoodle. 1.3761 0.03390 335 234 76 25
249 So, that's what they call "Upward Dog"? 1.3761 0.03520 335 239 66 30
250 The park is all kite and no bark. 1.3761 0.03337 335 232 80 23
251 But officer, he's not off leash. 1.3761 0.03337 335 232 80 23
252 Sir, yelling bombs-away is not appreciated by the rest of our guests. 1.3754 0.03635 317 227 61 29
253 Did you happen to see a man in a baseball cap walking a dog? 1.3754 0.03430 333 234 73 26
254 What's up? Dog? 1.3754 0.03323 333 230 81 22
255 Yes, I can see that he is on-leash. 1.3754 0.03404 333 233 75 25
256 Who's a good kite? 1.3739 0.03666 329 240 55 34
257 What was the name of that obedience school? 1.3739 0.03404 329 230 75 24
258 I know he's on leash but I'm citing you under the Law of Gravity. 1.3731 0.03578 327 235 62 30
259 This is not what I meant when I said - "Strictly no dogs on park grounds." 1.3731 0.03472 327 231 70 26
260 they said he’d be impeached when dogs fly so.... 1.3723 0.03513 325 231 67 27
261 Wouldn't it be easier if you just rolled down the window when you're driving? 1.3723 0.03375 325 226 77 22
262 Does your kite have all its shots? 1.3722 0.03554 309 218 67 24
263 We're getting complaints, sir. You have to curb your kite. 1.3719 0.03353 320 221 79 20
264 I don't care if he's training for the Macy Parade. 1.3715 0.03360 323 224 78 21
265 You're lucky. Mine's afraid of the lightning. 1.3707 0.03373 321 223 77 21
266 Do you realize how many laws of physics you're violating right now? 1.3699 0.03473 319 225 70 24
267 Your kite keeps chasing its tail. 1.3699 0.03328 319 220 80 19
268 If you wouldn't mind using both hands sir -- we lost a Dalmatian here a week ago, and it still hasn't come down. 1.3691 0.03341 317 219 79 19
269 Sir, your zipper’s down. 1.3684 0.04206 247 181 41 25
270 I don't care if it has a tail and flies; the dog park is over there. 1.3683 0.03354 315 218 78 19
271 I'm not saying you are violating a rule. I am asking "How?" 1.3683 0.03502 315 223 68 24
272 And you call yourself a dog walker. 1.3683 0.03473 315 222 70 23
273 Technically. it doesn't qualify as a leash. 1.3677 0.03421 310 216 74 20
274 Terrierists are on the no fly list. 1.3677 0.03541 310 220 66 24
275 So you're saying that some old dogs can learn new tricks. 1.3674 0.03458 313 220 71 22
276 He ain’t nothin’ but a hound-dog, flyin’ all the time. 1.3660 0.03510 306 216 68 22
277 I don't care how high he can go. No one is above the law. 1.3648 0.03591 307 220 62 25
278 For one thing, it's against the law of gravity. 1.3639 0.03516 305 216 67 22
279 When we were driving we used to let him stick his head out of the car window and, well, one thing just lead to another. 1.3639 0.03516 305 216 67 22
280 I'd like to see the quick, brown, fox jump over him now. 1.3639 0.03607 305 219 61 25
281 I said please heel him not helium. 1.3633 0.03618 300 215 61 24
282 Yeah, you're right, it's probable safer for him than flying United. 1.3633 0.03648 300 216 59 25
283 Is that the only trick he does? 1.3633 0.03769 300 220 51 29
284 Yeah, crazy, but he wants to try out for the Macy’s parade. 1.3633 0.03739 300 219 53 28
285 Is your kite friendly? 1.3633 0.03460 300 210 71 19
286 There have been complaints of intermittent showers. 1.3624 0.03602 298 213 62 23
287 You can fly your dog only before 9 AM or after 11PM. 1.3624 0.03442 298 208 72 18
288 It’s a hybrid. 1.3621 0.03419 301 210 73 18
289 The right tail makes all the difference. 1.3618 0.05074 152 109 31 12
290 Isn't it time to let go? 1.3615 0.03554 296 210 65 21
291 Couldn't he just stick his head out of the car window like all of the other dogs? 1.3615 0.03587 296 211 63 22
292 I’m going to have to ask you to clean up after your kite 1.3615 0.03587 296 211 63 22
293 I tried a pig once but it just wouldn't fly. 1.3615 0.03522 296 209 67 20
294 He’s my wingman. 1.3615 0.03423 296 206 73 17
295 Wow; I still can't even get my dog to sit. 1.3605 0.03471 294 206 70 18
296 Sir, we are getting complaints that your kite is humping the other kites. 1.3605 0.03729 294 214 54 26
297 He likes his own space. 1.3605 0.03634 294 211 60 23
298 Sorry,sir. I think I threw the tennis ball too high. 1.3605 0.03698 294 213 56 25
299 Sir, your dog is frightening the other kites. 1.3605 0.03471 294 206 70 18
300 Sorry Sir, only flying pigs are allowed. 1.3605 0.03437 294 205 72 17
301 A new leash on life, huh? 1.3596 0.03618 292 209 61 22
302 Airedale? Skye terrier? Or is it from a long line of bird-dogs? 1.3596 0.02855 292 188 103 1
303 I wanted him to heel, so I gave him helium. 1.3596 0.03900 292 218 43 31
304 It's the only way I can walk him, officer. The pound named him Trump. So,I get home and find out he's full of hot air. 1.3586 0.03826 290 214 48 28
305 He looks like a good buoy. 1.3586 0.03667 290 209 58 23
306 I could overlook the short tail and the long leash, but you also flagrantly break the law of gravity. 1.3586 0.03667 290 209 58 23
307 What can I say, he wasn't getting that thrill anymore from sticking his head out of the car window... 1.3586 0.03601 290 207 62 21
308 Sir, your kite is scaring the other kites.” 1.3576 0.03550 288 204 65 19
309 The balloon man says someone stole his helium tank. Have you seen anything suspicious? 1.3576 0.03617 288 206 61 21
310 Kites don't defecate, sir. 1.3576 0.03584 288 205 63 20
311 It’s obvious to me that your dog is high as a kite 1.3576 0.03550 288 204 65 19
312 Sir, your dog appears to be high as a kite. 1.3576 0.03684 288 208 57 23
313 He IS on leash! 1.3569 0.03592 283 201 63 19
314 Bob, I don't care how much you like the Beatles; bring Lucy down, now. 1.3566 0.03799 286 210 50 26
315 Sir, we ask people to please retrieve lost kites, not kite lost retrievers. 1.3566 0.03701 286 207 56 23
316 You don't see anybody flying kites at the dog park do you? 1.3566 0.03425 286 199 72 15
317 Yes, I have heard of a bird dog. 1.3566 0.03566 286 203 64 19
318 That doesn't look like a leash to me 1.3566 0.03461 286 200 70 16
319 It's my fault. I sent him to a Montessori obedience school. 1.3556 0.03684 284 205 57 22
320 Yes, it is a nice kite. But I'm still going to have to check his tags. 1.3556 0.03403 284 197 73 14
321 I was telling my wife that I was going to walk the dog, and she told me to “Go fly a kite’. 1.3556 0.03684 284 205 57 22
322 And I’d tell you the same if you were walking a kite in the dog park. 1.3546 0.03769 282 206 52 24
323 Well, it's not a pig. Carry on. 1.3546 0.03526 282 199 66 17
324 Well, I checked and you are technically compliant with the leash law. 1.3546 0.03417 282 196 72 14
325 If you took him to the dog park you could let him off the leash. 1.3546 0.03490 282 198 68 16
326 I'm going to have to arrest you for breaking the law of gravity. 1.3525 0.03701 278 201 56 21
327 No. When PIGS fly. 1.3525 0.03735 278 202 54 22
328 what did you tell him to fetch? 1.3519 0.03472 270 188 69 13
329 Sir, could you please pick up after your kite? 1.3514 0.03682 276 199 57 20
330 There's no such thing as a 'Kiteadoodle'. 1.3514 0.03753 276 201 53 22
331 Impressive, but we're getting complaints about the 'trickle-down' effect. 1.3514 0.03811 259 187 53 19
332 If he's Underdog, then where's his cape? 1.3506 0.03691 271 195 57 19
333 Yeah, but can he do any tricks? 1.3506 0.03501 271 190 67 14
334 Well, okay, but don't let him off leash. 1.3506 0.03501 271 190 67 14
335 We're still working on "sit" 1.3506 0.03462 271 189 69 13
336 That's why I'm wearing a hat. 1.3506 0.03501 271 190 67 14
337 Let me guess. You're blind. That's your seeing eye dog. And you are just taking a look around... 1.3506 0.03728 271 196 55 20
338 My wife told me to take our dog and fly a kite. 1.3506 0.04045 271 205 37 29
339 This is not what I meant when I said that the park’s dog policy was up in the air. 1.3504 0.03699 274 198 56 20
340 Kindly curb your kite. 1.3504 0.03514 274 193 66 15
341 Sorry, but we enforce the Law of Gravity here. 1.3504 0.03626 274 196 60 18
342 That your dog? 1.3494 0.03595 269 191 62 16
343 You say he’s practicing for Macy’s? 1.3494 0.03855 269 198 48 23
344 Dr. Pavlov. What exactly are you trying to prove now? 1.3494 0.03633 269 192 60 17
345 This is far-fetched. 1.3488 0.03737 258 185 56 17
346 The kid wants his dog back. 1.3485 0.03435 264 183 70 11
347 Is your wife out walking the kite? 1.3485 0.03717 264 190 56 18
348 Bad kite! 1.3483 0.03726 267 193 55 19
349 Must be a bitch to fly.... 1.3483 0.03910 267 198 45 24
350 He’s looking for his frisbee 1.3483 0.03611 267 190 61 16
351 A longer tail would give you more lift. 1.3472 0.03819 265 194 50 21
352 Sorry sir, dog flying on Tuesdays only 1.3472 0.03628 265 189 60 16
353 No, there isn't an exception during the dog days of Summer 1.3472 0.03548 265 187 64 14
354 That shit ain't gonna fly. 1.3472 0.04002 265 199 40 26
355 I don't care if it's a rescue kite. 1.3472 0.03706 265 191 56 18
356 He takes fetch very seriously. 1.3460 0.03644 263 188 59 16
357 New here? 1.3460 0.03723 263 190 55 18
358 'Aloft' or not ... the leash limit is still six feet. 1.3460 0.03564 263 186 63 14
359 I’ll let it fly this time. 1.3460 0.03644 263 188 59 16
360 If he doesn't chase his dreams, who will? 1.3460 0.03684 263 189 57 17
361 Just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you SHOULD do it. 1.3460 0.03684 263 189 57 17
362 He may well be an Airedale sir, but he still belongs in the Dog Park 1.3460 0.03913 263 195 45 23
363 Your dog appears to be high as a kite. 1.3448 0.03819 261 191 50 20
364 What’s up? 1.3448 0.03819 261 191 50 20
365 Having an inflated sense of self is not sufficient reason. 1.3448 0.03780 261 190 52 19
366 But, Officer, the sign clearly said "Keep your pets off the grass!." 1.3424 0.03777 257 187 52 18
367 I’m looking for a dog that swallowed a young girl’s helium balloon. 1.3424 0.03935 257 191 44 22
368 Sky Terrier? 1.3417 0.03872 240 174 50 16
369 He was raised by Kites. 1.3412 0.03755 255 185 53 17
370 Eventually, sticking his head out the car window wasn't enough. 1.3412 0.03543 255 180 63 12
371 Afghan hound? No Fly List. Bring him down. 1.3412 0.03755 255 185 53 17
372 Technically, yes, you are correct. He is on a leash. 1.3412 0.03876 255 188 47 20
373 NASA wants to talk to you. 1.3412 0.03629 255 182 59 14
374 The advertisement said fly-over, not fly Rover. 1.3400 0.03888 250 184 47 19
375 Sir, you need to pick up after your kite. 1.3400 0.03762 250 181 53 16
376 I see the thrill of the car window is a slippery slope. 1.3400 0.03929 250 185 45 20
377 Ruff winds today? 1.3399 0.03731 253 183 54 16
378 Oh yeah? Well, my dog thinks he's an opera singer. Now beat it. 1.3399 0.03689 253 182 56 15
379 Excuse me Sir, no hats allowed. 1.3388 0.03294 245 167 73 5
380 We've been getting complaints about him sniffing the tails of the other kites. 1.3387 0.03737 248 179 54 15
381 I beg to differ sir; ... a string can NOT be defined as a "leash' 1.3387 0.03693 248 178 56 14
382 You should've been here yesterday. It was RAINING cats and dogs. 1.3387 0.03908 248 183 46 19
383 Because the other kites don't poop on guests. 1.3387 0.03693 248 178 56 14
384 Just because you can doesn't mean you should. 1.3374 0.03555 243 171 62 10
385 He ate the whole pot of chili? 1.3374 0.03742 243 175 54 14
386 Sir, they found your kite at the dog park. 1.3374 0.03711 246 177 55 14
387 'Very good sir, but it's not the physics that concerns me.' 1.3374 0.04053 246 185 39 22
388 If we make exception for you, Sir, everyone will come here with their flying dogs... 1.3374 0.03799 246 179 51 16
389 Does sticking his head out of the car window not do it for him? 1.3374 0.03799 246 179 51 16
390 Have you tried cutting out gluten. 1.3374 0.03843 246 180 49 17
391 Like the wind in his face, does he? 1.3374 0.03755 246 178 53 15
392 It has a tail." Seriously? You're going with that 1.3374 0.03755 246 178 53 15
393 Because it's scaring the squirrel kite. 1.3374 0.03886 246 181 47 18
394 Why not? It’s my emotional support kite. 1.3374 0.03886 246 181 47 18
395 He can also roll over. 1.3374 0.03620 246 175 59 12
396 It would be funnier if he were flying you. 1.3374 0.03755 246 178 53 15
397 I always thought pigs would fly first. 1.3361 0.03806 241 175 51 15
398 Randy you’ve got to quit coming here man. It’s freaking out the kids. 1.3361 0.03774 244 177 52 15
399 May I have a look at your doggie treats? 1.3361 0.03729 244 176 54 14
400 Have you seen a missing dog? 1.3361 0.03774 244 177 52 15
401 But sir, he's on a leash. 1.3361 0.03543 244 172 62 10
402 No, it does not matter if it's an Airedale, sir. 1.3361 0.03683 244 175 56 13
403 Just make sure he stays on the leash. 1.3361 0.03906 244 180 46 18
404 ...but it's my emotional support kite" 1.3361 0.03818 244 178 50 16
405 We've received a complaint that some people haven't picked up after their kites. 1.3361 0.03543 244 172 62 10
406 Well, yes, I understand that every dog has its day. 1.3361 0.03683 244 175 56 13
407 So the cat refused to go up again? 1.3361 0.03818 244 178 50 16
408 Another dog day afternoon? 1.3361 0.03906 244 180 46 18
409 Well, as long as you keep him on the leash, I think we're all fine here. 1.3361 0.03906 244 180 46 18
410 I'm very sorry sir, but we don't allow gliderdoodles in the park. 1.3360 0.03915 247 183 45 19
411 Mere flight does not make it a kite, sir. 1.3347 0.03588 239 169 60 10
412 I can’t tell you how many times guys like you have tried the ‘It’s my seeing eye dog and I’m just taking a look around’ line. 1.3347 0.03838 242 177 49 16
413 Excuse me, sir, but the park rules do include the law of gravity. 1.3347 0.03793 242 176 51 15
414 You are mistaken sir....the expression is when PIGS fly. 1.3347 0.03882 242 178 47 17
415 Sir, there's no way that's rain. 1.3347 0.04012 242 181 41 20
416 I'm dogsitting for Superman. 1.3347 0.03882 242 178 47 17
417 Sorry, only pigs are allowed. 1.3347 0.03838 242 177 49 16
418 What am I supposed to do? He was born to herd kites. 1.3347 0.03969 242 180 43 19
419 Yes sir, I know what 'bird dog' means. Do you? 1.3333 0.03654 237 169 57 11
420 I am arresting you for breaking the law of gravitation. 1.3333 0.03812 240 175 50 15
421 I understand he identifies as a kite. Just clean up after him. 1.3333 0.03902 240 177 46 17
422 There was a dog hanging around the balloon kiosk sniffing the helium canisters. Seen a dog around here? 1.3333 0.03946 240 178 44 18
423 I prefer to walk mine. 1.3333 0.03554 237 167 61 9
424 We received a report of a kite left in the dog park. 1.3333 0.03750 237 171 53 13
425 Dog days are later this summer. 1.3319 0.03592 238 169 59 10
426 Here at Roosevelt Kite Park we appreciate diversity. Welcome, sir. 1.3319 0.03737 238 172 53 13
427 It may be an Airdale. but thats no excuse. 1.3319 0.03641 238 170 57 11
428 Sorry, but glide dogs are not allowed in the kite park. 1.3319 0.03877 238 175 47 16
429 It's not 'against the rules,' but it's frowned upon. 1.3319 0.03542 238 168 61 9
430 It’s OK. He’s an emotional support kite. 1.3319 0.03784 238 173 51 14
431 He can fly but can he roll over? 1.3319 0.03689 238 171 55 12
432 If I allow you to fly your dog they'll all want to 1.3305 0.03558 236 167 60 9
433 Nevermind the dog! Did you notice where your Rhino landed? 1.3305 0.03897 236 174 46 16
434 Put it in a car and let its head hang out the window like everyone else! 1.3305 0.03609 236 168 58 10
435 Well, I don’t care what Lucy has in the sky so long as she stays on that leash. 1.3305 0.03739 233 168 53 12
436 You're right sir, it's not on the sign. 1.3290 0.03904 231 170 46 15
437 Pulled a double shift on airport luggage inspection; he won’t be coming down for a while. 1.3290 0.04046 231 173 40 18
438 Care to explain what just landed on my windshield? 1.3290 0.04046 231 173 40 18
439 Naming your dog Roosevelt does not make this ok. 1.3289 0.03988 228 169 43 16
440 We're getting complaints about your kite sniffing other kite tails. 1.3289 0.03299 228 156 69 3
441 Larry, that's not a kite, that's a dog and you know it. 1.3275 0.03974 229 170 43 16
442 Sir, the surrealist dog park is next door. 1.3275 0.03673 229 164 55 10
443 Sir, this leash is too long. 1.3275 0.03776 229 166 51 12
444 I'm getting reports that your kite is the party-pooper at today's event. 1.3275 0.04021 229 171 41 17
445 It's "High as a Kite" or "Raining Cat's and Dogs" - and anyway, you know it's a METAPHOR, right? 1.3268 0.04238 205 153 37 15
446 This is not who we are as a nation. 1.3260 0.04043 227 170 40 17
447 Yes, but the other kites are potty trained. 1.3260 0.03846 227 166 48 13
448 Skye terrier, eh? 1.3260 0.04043 227 170 40 17
449 Whatever you do, mister, don't take him to Ben Franklin Park. 1.3260 0.03896 227 167 46 14
450 Sir, it is obvious to me that you DO have a dog in this fight. 1.3244 0.03814 225 164 49 12
451 The expression is “...when pigs fly”. 1.3244 0.04017 225 168 41 16
452 Yeah, I know, but the rule is a six foot leash, max. 1.3244 0.03967 225 167 43 15
453 Not impressed. Last week we had a pig. 1.3244 0.04017 225 168 41 16
454 I found your glasses. 1.3244 0.04066 225 169 39 17
455 It’s against park rules, sir. Your dog doesn’t have a collar, and it’s disobeying gravity. 1.3244 0.04017 225 168 41 16
456 Sorry, sir, but park rules state the tail has to be at least 24 inches. 1.3244 0.03762 225 163 51 11
457 I believe the expression is, “When pigs fly”. 1.3244 0.03814 225 164 49 12
458 No sir, I have never heard of a "seeing eye kite." 1.3244 0.03814 225 164 49 12
459 I don't care if it was on his bucket list! 1.3244 0.03967 225 167 43 15
460 Is it flying? Is it on a string? Then leave me alone 1.3244 0.04017 225 168 41 16
461 You’ve got to keep Sparky away from the balloon guy’s helium tank. 1.3229 0.03672 223 160 54 9
462 Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? 1.3229 0.03937 223 165 44 14
463 Excuse me, Superman wants to know when you will be finished walking his dog. 1.3229 0.04039 223 167 40 16
464 As below, so above. 1.3229 0.04186 223 170 34 19
465 Why not just stick his head out of the car window? 1.3229 0.04138 223 169 36 18
466 You ever had a bird crap on you? That's why. 1.3229 0.03886 223 164 46 13
467 Sorry, Sir. You've been badly outclassed by London's Baby Trump." 1.3229 0.04282 223 172 30 21
468 Sir, that is all bark and no kite. 1.3229 0.04039 223 167 40 16
469 Is that the flying rat from the previous caption contest? He has really stepped up his game. 1.3229 0.04138 223 169 36 18
470 I don't care if he swallowed a helium balloon, the dog park's around the corner. 1.3229 0.03834 223 163 48 12
471 All I'm saying is you better be quick on the draw with the pooper scooper. 1.3229 0.03937 223 165 44 14
472 Officer, he's not on the grass! 1.3229 0.03727 223 161 52 10
473 Box kites are permitted. Flying boxers is not permitted. 1.3229 0.03780 223 162 50 11
474 You know you're violating the mixed metaphor statute, right? 1.3208 0.03961 212 156 44 12
475 I suppose you think your dog's above the leash law. 1.3196 0.03980 219 163 42 14
476 Sir, I assume you know this is not the dog park. 1.3194 0.04018 216 161 41 14
477 Does he know "down" yet? 1.3194 0.03682 216 155 53 8
478 He may very well be a Skye Terrier, but it's still no dogs allowed. 1.3194 0.03964 216 160 43 13
479 True, technically his is on a leash... 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
480 It's two hands for dogs. Okay? 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
481 It's a new breed. I'll be training him to keep my neighbor's drone away from my house. 1.3194 0.04018 216 161 41 14
482 Will you stop saying, "It was his idea." 1.3194 0.03964 216 160 43 13
483 He must be an Airedale. 1.3194 0.03623 216 154 55 7
484 It started out as a game of fetch. 1.3194 0.03853 216 158 47 11
485 Follow me, we've a cat stuck up a tree. 1.3194 0.03909 216 159 45 12
486 Nice try pal, but it's still a dog and this is still a kite park. 1.3194 0.03909 216 159 45 12
487 I'm glad you brought the collie instead of the corgi. Like I told you, it won't fly if it doesn't have a tail. 1.3194 0.03623 216 154 55 7
488 Yes, the substance is now legal but not for canine consumption. 1.3194 0.04018 216 161 41 14
489 I don’t care that it’s an airdale, get it down. 1.3194 0.03909 216 159 45 12
490 The car window just wasn't doing it for her anymore. 1.3194 0.04123 216 163 37 16
491 I’m sorry officer, my dog self identifies as a kite 1.3192 0.04110 213 160 38 15
492 I’ve heard that once they’ve tasted flying, that you can never get away with just walking them. 1.3192 0.03832 213 155 48 10
493 It all started with his head out of the car window." 1.3190 0.03983 210 155 43 12
494 He can stay as long as he gets along with the rest of the kites. 1.3180 0.03838 217 159 47 11
495 A longer tail would really add stability. 1.3178 0.03930 214 158 44 12
496 Is it a skye terrier or an Airedale? 1.3178 0.03874 214 157 46 11
497 Leaping for a Frisbee a hundred times just wasn't enough, huh? 1.3178 0.03985 214 159 42 13
498 No, sir, this is the Kite Park. The Helium-filled Carcass Park is on the other side of the hill. 1.3178 0.04147 214 162 36 16
499 Yes sir, it's a most impressive kite, but that doesn't alter the fact that it's wearing no collar, which is a $35 fine. 1.3178 0.03930 214 158 44 12
500 So THAT'S why they call them Airedales. 1.3178 0.03930 214 158 44 12
501 My pet's name is Kite, Roosevelt Kite. 1.3178 0.03874 214 157 46 11
502 How else is she supposed to train for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade? 1.3178 0.03985 214 159 42 13
503 Just because there's not a specific rule against it doesn't mean it's not a bad idea. 1.3178 0.03874 214 157 46 11
504 What’s up, dawg? 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
505 Sir, we found a kite with a leash on it at the dog park. 1.3160 0.03836 212 155 47 10
506 He thought the lyrics were “I want to fly like a beagle to the sea, fly like a beagle let my kite carry me.” 1.3160 0.04117 212 160 37 15
507 Sir, can you prove that is a Service Kite? 1.3160 0.04171 212 161 35 16
508 Sorry, sir, that's the rules. No kites in the dog park, and no dogs in the kite park. 1.3160 0.03951 212 157 43 12
509 You've been asked to move down wind. 1.3160 0.03777 212 154 49 9
510 Very clever sir, but no dogs allowed. 1.3160 0.03836 212 155 47 10
511 Has he ever caught one? 1.3160 0.04007 212 158 41 13
512 Sure, and if he were chasing his tail, he'd be a helicopter. 1.3160 0.04007 212 158 41 13
513 I don’t care if his name is ‘Roosevelt Kite,’ there are no dogs allowed in this park. 1.3160 0.03951 212 157 43 12
514 When it's a pig, I'll be impressed. 1.3160 0.03951 212 157 43 12
515 Sir, the sky is the limit. 1.3160 0.04007 212 158 41 13
516 We at Roosevelt Park strongly support kite diversity. 1.3160 0.04007 212 158 41 13
517 I'd be more impressed if you did that with a cat. 1.3143 0.04029 210 157 40 13
518 The law of gravity, sir, are there for our protection. I'm afraid I'm going to have to issue a ticket. 1.3143 0.04029 210 157 40 13
519 He got into the Red Bull. 1.3143 0.03915 210 155 44 11
520 Yeah, I miss Mitt Romney, too. 1.3143 0.04029 210 157 40 13
521 Sir, that won’t fly here. 1.3143 0.04196 210 160 34 16
522 Excuse me, Sir. Your kite is leaking 1.3143 0.03856 210 154 46 10
523 If he starts humping another kite, he’s out of here! 1.3143 0.03796 210 153 48 9
524 No, it isn't the leash law you've broken. It's the law of gravity. 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
525 His manic phase?” 1.3143 0.03736 210 152 50 8
526 That is not what I meant when I told you to hightail it out of here. 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
527 If you let it go and it comes back, it's yours. 1.3143 0.03915 210 155 44 11
528 Of course, if it was a pig that would be a completely different matter. 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
529 No, it's not the same as bird droppings. 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
530 He's a very good buoy. 1.3143 0.04141 210 159 36 15
531 Sir. Your kite is leaking. 1.3143 0.04249 210 161 32 17
532 I understand you found him flattened on the road. But, gees man, there are kids around here" 1.3143 0.04303 210 162 30 18
533 ...and you really don’t get why it’s only raining on you? 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
534 Don't tell me: An Airedale. 1.3143 0.04029 210 157 40 13
535 Please clean up after your kite. 1.3143 0.03856 210 154 46 10
536 Could you get him to stop marking his territory? 1.3143 0.03972 210 156 42 12
537 Can you make it do any tricks? 1.3143 0.04085 210 158 38 14
538 We can't make exceptions for bird dogs. 1.3140 0.04011 207 154 41 12
539 From the way his tail is wagging, I'd say he can see the skate park, water park, zip line park, and disc golf park. 1.3140 0.03831 207 151 47 9
540 . . . but the sign said keep dogs off of the grass. 1.3140 0.04069 207 155 39 13
541 The 'Trump Baby' balloons were sold out. 1.3140 0.04126 207 156 37 14
542 He's training for the Macy's Day Parade. 1.3140 0.03892 207 152 45 10
543 I’ve never seen a kite that can chase its own tail! 1.3140 0.04011 207 154 41 12
544 The sign distinctly sez "Dog walking not allowed!" 1.3140 0.03892 207 152 45 10
545 You're under arrest for breaking the laws of physics. 1.3140 0.04126 207 156 37 14
546 What’s the problem? My dog’s on a leash. 1.3140 0.03578 207 147 55 5
547 Sir, emotional support dogs no longer fly for free 1.3122 0.04033 205 153 40 12
548 For the last time Gary, there is no such thing as Taxidermy Tuesday. 1.3119 0.04012 202 150 41 11
549 I’ve heard the flea meds give them gas. 1.3110 0.03739 209 152 49 8
550 I thought you said you didn’t have a dog in this flight. 1.3107 0.04301 206 159 30 17
551 I'm not as interested in how he stays up there as I am in what's been coming down. 1.3105 0.04309 190 144 33 13
552 It was a metaphor, not a suggestion. 1.3105 0.04042 190 140 41 9
553 All right, but no tricks. 1.3103 0.03743 203 147 49 7
554 I realize you went to the trouble of putting him on a leash, but that's not really the issue here, sir. 1.3103 0.04115 203 153 37 13
555 Sir, I'm from Animal Control. Have you seen a stray dog, brown, extremely lightweight, trailing a length of twine? 1.3103 0.04232 203 155 33 15
556 I agree that you’re not violating the letter of leash laws, but let’s talk about the spirit of leash laws. 1.3103 0.03995 203 151 41 11
557 His bark is worse than his kite. 1.3100 0.04034 200 149 40 11
558 How long till the helium biscuits wear off? 1.3100 0.03843 200 146 46 8
559 Wherein lies the tail? 1.3089 0.04159 191 143 37 11
560 But somehow he hates walks. 1.3088 0.04156 204 155 35 14
561 Sorry sir, but that just won't fly in this park. 1.3085 0.04430 201 157 26 18
562 You realize we have a big enough problem with the pigeons around here. 1.3085 0.03955 201 149 42 10
563 Okay... but if he poops on somebody's head, you're outa here. 1.3085 0.03891 201 148 44 9
564 Nothing is impossible, but some things are just wrong 1.3077 0.04287 195 149 32 14
565 Did you see a guy with a dog run this way? 1.3065 0.04224 199 152 33 14
566 And how is it emotionally supporting you from all the way up there? 1.3065 0.04284 199 153 31 15
567 We're Cross-training for Macy's parade. 1.3065 0.04040 199 149 39 11
568 Not to worry. My pooper-scooper is on a drone. 1.3065 0.04284 199 153 31 15
569 We’re looking for a missing dog. 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
570 Is there a problem officer? I'm just walking my kite. 1.3065 0.03847 199 146 45 8
571 That cat-shaped cloud won't be back. 1.3065 0.04163 199 151 35 13
572 The things you have to do to tucker a puppy out — Am I right? 1.3065 0.03712 199 144 49 6
573 He got into the compressed air cartridges 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
574 No Sir, even on a leash, glide dogs are not allowed! 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
575 The Space Force people would like to talk to you 1.3065 0.04224 199 152 33 14
576 Sir, is that your Airedale? 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
577 Make sure you don't let him off leash. 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
578 The City's leash law says no more than six feet long. 1.3065 0.03976 199 148 41 10
579 Well, he used to be afraid of heights, but now he's just showing off... 1.3065 0.04163 199 151 35 13
580 The problem is how he's marking his territory. 1.3065 0.04163 199 151 35 13
581 It's fine, he's a service kite. 1.3065 0.04224 199 152 33 14
582 You the guy with the helium tanks? 1.3065 0.03912 199 147 43 9
583 Ignorance of the law of gravity excuses no one. 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
584 I know, I know, but he got bored with the frisbee. 1.3065 0.03780 199 145 47 7
585 You are going to have to curb your dog, sir. 1.3065 0.03428 199 140 57 2
586 Listen buddy, poop bags will not solve the problem. 1.3065 0.04040 199 149 39 11
587 He doesn't know. 1.3065 0.04342 199 154 29 16
588 Touché, sir. The sign does say “No walking your dog.” 1.3065 0.04102 199 150 37 12
589 Okay, so pigs can fly. We still have Trump. 1.3065 0.04342 199 154 29 16
590 I don't care if he's a bird dog, you need to curb him. 1.3065 0.04224 199 152 33 14
591 People are complaining about a UFO, and by "U" they mean urinating. 1.3065 0.04040 199 149 39 11
592 He's my therapy kite. 1.3065 0.03780 199 145 47 7
593 But he is off the grass. 1.3065 0.03912 199 147 43 9
594 Well technically, he’s still on leash. 1.3061 0.03676 196 141 50 5
595 I appreciate that Lulu feels more at home in this park Phil but we have this talk every week. 1.3061 0.04016 196 146 40 10
596 I don't care if it's on his "bucket list", it still defys the laws of physics 1.3061 0.04144 196 148 36 12
597 The Flying Dog Park is just down the road. 1.3061 0.04080 196 147 38 11
598 The birds are complaining about the barking. 1.3061 0.03950 196 145 42 9
599 I know a drone when I see one. 1.3061 0.04207 196 149 34 13
600 He was sniffing for drugs and got high as a kite. 1.3061 0.04329 196 151 30 15
601 This is my emotional support kite. 1.3061 0.04016 196 146 40 10
602 The minute your dog lifts his leg, you're coming with me. 1.3061 0.04268 196 150 32 14
603 Your in compliance with the leash law, but I have some other concerns. 1.3061 0.03883 196 144 44 8
604 There's a bone kite stuck in a tree. Do you have a moment? 1.3061 0.03883 196 144 44 8
605 What was I supposed to do - my wife took the kite for a walk. 1.3041 0.04104 194 146 37 11
606 The peeing has to stop. 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
607 Sir, you and the dog are under arrest for violating Newton's Second Law of Motion. 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
608 We just ask they you fly him downwind of the others. 1.3036 0.04028 168 122 41 5
609 I don't care if she's on a leash, your dog isn't obeying the laws of physics. 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
610 Please obey the laws of physics, sir. 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
611 Yes, I realize it has a tail. It's still not allowed. 1.3021 0.04128 192 145 36 11
612 In this wind, she's a real bitch to fly. 1.3021 0.04193 192 146 34 12
613 Box kites are allowed. Boxer kites aren't. 1.3021 0.03924 192 142 42 8
614 I don't care if your dog is named Roosevelt. That's not the point. 1.3016 0.03963 189 140 41 8
615 Technically, yes, he is on a leash, but... 1.3016 0.03892 189 139 43 7
616 Actually, it's a rescue. 1.3000 0.03945 190 141 41 8
617 Alternative Facts 1.3000 0.04597 190 151 21 18
618 If you weren't white I'd have to ask you to leave. 1.3000 0.04015 190 142 39 9
619 Box kite," yes; "boxer kite," no 1.3000 0.04015 190 142 39 9
620 He’d better be a therapy kite. 1.3000 0.04218 190 145 33 12
621 He’s a Skye Terrier? 1.3000 0.04152 190 144 35 11
622 Airdale? 1.3000 0.04084 190 143 37 10
623 So, he's an Airedale, is he? 1.3000 0.04218 190 145 33 12
624 I have to ask you to leave,Mr.Macy. 1.3000 0.04284 190 146 31 13
625 But he's on a leash, officer 1.2979 0.04176 188 143 34 11
626 Yeah, yeah. Does he do any other tricks? 1.2979 0.04176 188 143 34 11
627 Mr. Romney, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 1.2979 0.04310 188 145 30 13
628 There’s a $145 fine for breaking the laws of physics 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
629 Impressive, but still not allowed. 1.2979 0.03894 188 139 42 7
630 Sir, I hope that's an Airedale. 1.2979 0.04038 188 141 38 9
631 It's amazing that you can keep him in the air, with a tail that short. 1.2979 0.04038 188 141 38 9
632 Park rules aside, let's both agree that the physics of this situation are remarkable. 1.2979 0.04244 188 144 32 12
633 Excuse me sir, but we've been getting complaints that you are not cleaning up after your kite. 1.2979 0.04440 188 147 26 15
634 There's been a complaint of someone not picking up after their kite. 1.2979 0.04176 188 143 34 11
635 Sir, this park doesn't allow patrons to defy the laws of physics. 1.2979 0.04038 188 141 38 9
636 I didn’t have a pig. 1.2979 0.04376 188 146 28 14
637 Sir,I don't care if it's an Airedale! 1.2979 0.04244 188 144 32 12
638 He's a dirigibull. 1.2979 0.03967 188 140 40 8
639 You can't fool me. There's no such thing as a boxer kite. 1.2979 0.04108 188 142 36 10
640 Just don’t get tangled up with the cat lady again. 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
641 Got into the helium again, eh? 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
642 Curb your kite, sir. We've had complaints. 1.2973 0.03933 185 137 41 7
643 What? It's not like he's going anywhere. 1.2973 0.03933 185 137 41 7
644 Its just a test run, my wife said she would only take me back when pigs fly. 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
645 For what it's worth...this park is off-leash. 1.2973 0.04221 185 141 33 11
646 Pigs, yes! Dogs, no! 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
647 elon wants his dog back_ 1.2973 0.03933 185 137 41 7
648 Be that as it may, you still have to pick up after him. 1.2973 0.04290 185 142 31 12
649 I don't want to see any yellow rain or brown hail, if you get my drift. 1.2973 0.04007 185 138 39 8
650 Watch this. Play dead Fido. 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
651 Sir, no gravity-defying is allowed. 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
652 She loves the view. 1.2973 0.04151 185 140 35 10
653 You and I both know it is just a matter of time. 1.2973 0.03933 185 137 41 7
654 Get it downwind, NOW. 1.2973 0.04425 185 144 27 14
655 Cool - could you teach me the inflate command? 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
656 Is this some sort of service kite? 1.2973 0.04556 185 146 23 16
657 I'm getting reports that your kite has been humping the other kites. 1.2973 0.04151 185 140 35 10
658 Is this a service kite? 1.2973 0.04290 185 142 31 12
659 Please be sure to clean up after your kite 1.2973 0.04007 185 138 39 8
660 Does Superman know you have his dog? 1.2973 0.04358 185 143 29 13
661 You must be a cat person." 1.2973 0.04079 185 139 37 9
662 And what breed of bird dog is he? 1.2951 0.04103 183 138 36 9
663 Our leash law could stand some tightening. 1.2951 0.04029 183 137 38 8
664 Are you the one the prophecies spoke of? 1.2951 0.04247 183 140 32 11
665 Airedale, huh? 1.2951 0.03877 183 135 42 6
666 The sign said no dog walking. 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
667 Yes, like a kite it has a tail and it flies, but unlike a kite, it peed on a family picnic. 1.2951 0.04103 183 138 36 9
668 I have very good reason to believe that is not a kite. 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
669 Box kites are allowed. Boxer kites not. 1.2951 0.04029 183 137 38 8
670 What's next? Putting a rover on the moon? 1.2951 0.04247 183 140 32 11
671 The complaint? Not picking up after your kite. 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
672 I’m sure he IS a good boy, but rules are rules 1.2951 0.03799 183 134 44 5
673 Skye Terrier or not, he's got to come down! 1.2951 0.04317 183 141 30 12
674 Heck of a tailwind up there today. 1.2951 0.04175 183 139 34 10
675 I’m investigating a recent drop in our flying squirrel population. 1.2951 0.04103 183 138 36 9
676 His parents were fantastic birders. 1.2951 0.03954 183 136 40 7
677 As long as he's a therapy kite, it's okay. 1.2951 0.04247 183 140 32 11
678 We don't consider that a leash. 1.2951 0.04247 183 140 32 11
679 Sir, I'm sorry but I believe the idiom you're reaching for is "when pigs fly" 1.2951 0.04175 183 139 34 10
680 He's part airdale. 1.2951 0.04029 183 137 38 8
681 Somebody complained about a dog that's as high as a kite. 1.2951 0.04386 183 142 28 13
682 I don’t care if his name is “Roosevelt”. He shouldn’t be up there. 1.2951 0.03719 183 133 46 4
683 Is that one of them Airedales? 1.2951 0.04386 183 142 28 13
684 You're either going to have to deal with me or PETA. You decide. 1.2951 0.04029 183 137 38 8
685 Is that a Skye Terrier? 1.2951 0.04247 183 140 32 11
686 Haven't you ever heard of "bird dogs"? 1.2944 0.03915 180 133 41 6
687 Sir, the Macy's Day Parade tryouts are next weekend. 1.2944 0.03994 180 134 39 7
688 Someone complained of kite poop. 1.2928 0.04127 181 137 35 9
689 Let me guess...an airedale? 1.2928 0.04344 181 140 29 12
690 Let's discuss the difference between the letter and spirit of the leash law. 1.2928 0.04052 181 136 37 8
691 Too realistic? 1.2928 0.04052 181 136 37 8
692 I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. 1.2928 0.04127 181 137 35 9
693 Highest dog I've seen since I busted Snoop in 99'. 1.2928 0.04273 181 139 31 11
694 Didn't I give you a ticket last week for dragging a kite around the dog park? 1.2914 0.04138 175 132 35 8
695 He's part of The Lend-Leash Program 1.2905 0.04151 179 136 34 9
696 It's fine--just stay away from the off-leash park. 1.2905 0.03997 179 134 38 7
697 No, I can't let you off with a warning again. This time it's a lot more serious than barking up the wrong tree. 1.2905 0.03917 179 133 40 6
698 Here’s a bag to clean up after your dog. And here’s the dry cleaning bill for my hat. 1.2905 0.04074 179 135 36 8
699 People have complained that you are not picking up after your kite. 1.2905 0.03997 179 134 38 7
700 Airedale or not, you need to pick up after your kite, sir. 1.2905 0.04151 179 136 34 9
701 Well, I'd better not see her off that leash. 1.2905 0.04443 179 140 26 13
702 When these winds die down, it’s going to be raining kites and dogs. 1.2905 0.04513 179 141 24 14
703 Pigs maybe, dogs no. 1.2905 0.03754 179 131 44 4
704 The difference is kites don’t poop. 1.2905 0.04151 179 136 34 9
705 Storm’s-a-comin, I just felt a drop 1.2905 0.04299 179 138 30 11
706 Did he get into your edibles again? 1.2905 0.04299 179 138 30 11
707 She’s helping me look for my drone. 1.2905 0.04372 179 139 28 12
708 He's is an Airedale sir! 1.2905 0.04151 179 136 34 9
709 One of these things is not like the other; one of these things just doesn't belong. 1.2905 0.04151 179 136 34 9
710 He's looking for his ball. 1.2905 0.04443 179 140 26 13
711 Flying Pet Day was yesterday. 1.2905 0.04226 179 137 32 10
712 No, that's not rain. 1.2905 0.04074 179 135 36 8
713 I'm sorry sir, but we are going to have to put him down. 1.2905 0.04226 179 137 32 10
714 The sign said, keep dogs off the grass, officer”. 1.2905 0.03997 179 134 38 7
715 It's medicinal weed, so "technically" he's not on the grass. 1.2898 0.04272 176 135 31 10
716 We' ve had complaints that your kite is sniffing all the others. 1.2898 0.04118 176 133 35 8
717 It’s his upward dog pose. 1.2898 0.04272 176 135 31 10
718 Yesterday I saw someone flying a kite in the dog park. Fair is fair. 1.2896 0.03861 183 136 41 6
719 He won't stay up long with that tail. 1.2890 0.03737 173 126 44 3
720 You won first prize...again. 1.2890 0.03912 173 128 40 5
721 We're after a large, fluffy brown dog. Goes by the name "Flyer." 1.2890 0.04162 173 131 34 8
722 You're saying this ISN'T the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade audition? 1.2882 0.03952 170 126 39 5
723 Weeeeee, indeed, sir! 1.2882 0.03772 170 124 43 3
724 Relax, he was already dead. 1.2882 0.04039 170 127 37 6
725 This is how Ben Franklin discovered shitstorms. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
726 We’re practicing for the Macy’s parade. 1.2874 0.04061 174 131 36 7
727 It’s ok as long as you clean up after him. 1.2874 0.03807 174 128 42 4
728 An airedale, isn't it? 1.2874 0.04061 174 131 36 7
729 Sir, I don't care how light on his feet he is. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
730 Bean burritos again? 1.2874 0.04299 174 134 30 10
731 There’s no point in saying “Down” I suppose? 1.2874 0.04299 174 134 30 10
732 I don't care if her name is Lucy or if she has diamonds in her collar, rules are rules. 1.2874 0.04451 174 136 26 12
733 Nice try. But no dogs allowed in the park! 1.2874 0.04451 174 136 26 12
734 Sorry officer, he's been watching Underdog" 1.2874 0.04299 174 134 30 10
735 He’s a free spirit. 1.2874 0.04061 174 131 36 7
736 Excuse me sir, but is that a rescue? 1.2874 0.04451 174 136 26 12
737 Pigs were all taken 1.2874 0.04525 174 137 24 13
738 I'm glad to see you've got him on a leash. 1.2874 0.03719 174 127 44 3
739 We received a complaint you're not picking up after your kite. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
740 So, I suppose ever since winning Best In Show, he hasn’t come down to Earth? 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
741 Old, new, doesn't matter, that trick isn't fooling anyone. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
742 What happens when he lets a little gas escape? 1.2874 0.03719 174 127 44 3
743 It's all fun until someone's kite is mauled. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
744 Wouldn't it be easier to tell your kid you found the perfect farm for it rather than saying the string broke? 1.2874 0.04525 174 137 24 13
745 You again? What, you run out of cats? 1.2874 0.03978 174 130 38 6
746 Forecast is that it’s going to rain kites and dogs 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
747 I'm just saying, the Scoop Law could get ugly. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
748 Sir, you have to comply with leash laws of physics. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
749 Sir please do something about your dog, he’s high as a kite! 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
750 No dog fights. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
751 Sorry Officer, he got into some weed. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
752 Yes, but if he farts can he survive the fall? 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
753 Wow. I guess you CAN reach an old dog new tricks. 1.2874 0.04142 174 132 34 8
754 I'm going to have to cite you. That dog's higher than a kite. 1.2874 0.04451 174 136 26 12
755 Sorry, Sir, only pigs can fly here. 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
756 I'd cut out the beans in his diet.... 1.2874 0.04376 174 135 28 11
757 Sorry sir, the park doesn't let sleeping dogs fly. 1.2874 0.04221 174 133 32 9
758 It would not be the same as bird droppings. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
759 The fact that you pick it up afterwards misses the point. 1.2849 0.04166 172 131 33 8
760 I'm with ICE. We have had a report of some sort of coyote operation in this district. 1.2849 0.04326 172 133 29 10
761 It's the law. Curb your kite. 1.2849 0.04083 172 130 35 7
762 Sorry, we still consider him a bite risk 1.2849 0.03999 172 129 37 6
763 Thank you for respecting the on-leash rules, but if he bites the kites you'll have to leave. 1.2849 0.03913 172 128 39 5
764 You're walking someone else's dog? You must be kidding. 1.2849 0.04247 172 132 31 9
765 You are under arrest. Your dog is higher than a kite 1.2849 0.04404 172 134 27 11
766 His day,eh? 1.2849 0.04404 172 134 27 11
767 Pigs, yes, pigs can fly, sir. But no dogs. 1.2849 0.04247 172 132 31 9
768 I booted the when pigs fly guy, too. 1.2849 0.03999 172 129 37 6
769 Your kite is against the law - the law of gravity. 1.2849 0.04326 172 133 29 10
770 Don't you know every dog has his day. 1.2849 0.04326 172 133 29 10
771 Ben Franklin must be jealous... 1.2849 0.04404 172 134 27 11
772 Boxer kite? I've heard of a box kite, but never a boxer kite. 1.2849 0.04480 172 135 25 12
773 Sir, we've found your wife at the dog park petting a kite. 1.2849 0.04404 172 134 27 11
774 Sorry. He's got gas. 1.2849 0.04247 172 132 31 9
775 You're freaking out the squirrels, sir. 1.2849 0.03825 172 127 41 4
776 The problem isn't that Ralphie flies, its that his poop does not. 1.2849 0.04166 172 131 33 8
777 I don’t care if it’s a Skye terrier, your string is over 6 feet! 1.2849 0.03999 172 129 37 6
778 I don't care if it is an airdale sir, dogs are NOT allowed in this park. 1.2849 0.04166 172 131 33 8
779 That’s OK. It’s a bigger problem when the kite people show up at the dog park. 1.2849 0.03735 172 126 43 3
780 Sir we're just worried that he's not airbroken. 1.2849 0.04247 172 132 31 9
781 You said I couldn't walk my dog. You didn't say anything about flying." 1.2849 0.04166 172 131 33 8
782 I don’t care that he has a tail and flies like the other kites, there are still no dogs allowed. 1.2849 0.04404 172 134 27 11
783 I am sorry, you cannot fly an emotional support animal in this park. 1.2849 0.04326 172 133 29 10
784 Yes sir, I see that it has a tail but that is where the similarity ends. 1.2849 0.03999 172 129 37 6
785 If he wants to be a kite who am I to say no? 1.2848 0.04124 158 118 35 5
786 It looks like a dog to me, sir. 1.2840 0.04376 169 131 28 10
787 He’s a rescue. 1.2840 0.04295 169 130 30 9
788 Well, technically, it’s still a leash. 1.2840 0.04127 169 128 34 7
789 My sister's kite is a pig. 1.2840 0.04295 169 130 30 9
790 Excuse me sir.Tomorrow is fly your pet day. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
791 Before he died, he loved taking walks in the kite park. This was his final request. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
792 No diaper, no flying. Park rules. 1.2840 0.04295 169 130 30 9
793 No sir, that was not just a few drops of rain. 1.2840 0.04611 169 134 22 13
794 You need a special dog licence for that sir. 1.2840 0.04127 169 128 34 7
795 Is that an emotional support kite sir? 1.2840 0.04456 169 132 26 11
796 Are you sure he likes that? 1.2840 0.04127 169 128 34 7
797 We were just running along and up he went. 1.2840 0.04456 169 132 26 11
798 Please pick up after your kite, sir. 1.2840 0.03863 169 125 40 4
799 Steer Baxter over to that box kite. If that one isn't crammed full of cocaine I'll eat my hat 1.2840 0.04534 169 133 24 12
800 He always loved chasing the kites 1.2840 0.03863 169 125 40 4
801 We are getting complaints about the saliva. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
802 Do you have a license to fly that dog?” 1.2840 0.04041 169 127 36 6
803 I hope you brought enough pick-up bags for everyone, sir. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
804 You need to tell him he's not a kite, but let him down slow. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
805 I've had a complaint that he bit one of the other kites. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
806 Technically he's over the park, not in the park. 1.2840 0.04127 169 128 34 7
807 Sir, you are in non-compliance with city ordinance C.2-1509, Conforming with Newtonian Physics. You'll have to come with me. 1.2840 0.04212 169 129 32 8
808 I don't care if he ate your medicinal stash and is as high as you say. You still can't bring him here. 1.2840 0.04376 169 131 28 10
809 Sir you cannot wear a hat in the park. 1.2840 0.04456 169 132 26 11
810 I didn't make the rules. That leash is too long. 1.2840 0.03863 169 125 40 4
811 I must disagree sir, it is not raining. 1.2840 0.04376 169 131 28 10
812 It's OK, Skye terriers are bred for this. 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
813 Hotdogging is not allowed, sir. 1.2831 0.04344 166 128 29 9
814 Dogs are prohibited in the park. But since your dog self-identifies as a kite - he can stay. 1.2831 0.03902 166 123 39 4
815 Sir, we do allow dogs here but they can't be as high as kites. 1.2824 0.03844 170 126 40 4
816 Damn good air, Dale 1.2814 0.04322 167 129 29 9
817 I'm sorry sir but you're going to have to put your dog down. 1.2814 0.04322 167 129 29 9
818 Was told to see a man about a dog. 1.2814 0.04485 167 131 25 11
819 It's a box terrier kite. 1.2805 0.04197 164 125 32 7
820 Sir, people have complained that your kite is drooling 1.2805 0.04015 164 123 36 5
821 Sir, I understand it's somewhat of a gray area but you'd still have better luck at the dog park. 1.2795 0.04153 161 122 33 6
822 Don't mind him-he's practicing for the parade" 1.2795 0.04424 161 125 27 9
823 No service kites allowed, sir. 1.2788 0.04086 165 125 34 6
824 It's the only way I can get him to stop barking 1.2788 0.04175 165 126 32 7
825 I rescued him from a dog mill in South Korea, now he’ll do whatever I ask! 1.2788 0.04263 165 127 30 8
826 Nice bird dog you got there. 1.2788 0.04597 165 131 22 12
827 You do realize there is a potential for a real problem here... 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
828 The orange baby inflatable was pushing it, but a dog is not okay. 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
829 You're okay on the leash law, but we'll need a drug screening. 1.2788 0.04175 165 126 32 7
830 Sir, your emotional support animal is disturbing the other flyers. 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
831 Rover got into the pot brownies again? 1.2788 0.03994 165 124 36 5
832 But he doesn’t like frisbees 1.2788 0.03994 165 124 36 5
833 Remember: if he poops, you catch. 1.2788 0.04263 165 127 30 8
834 Wallenda is an unusual name for a dog. 1.2788 0.04349 165 128 28 9
835 The dog got into the edibles again, didn't she? 1.2788 0.04433 165 129 26 10
836 Does he think he is an airedale. 1.2788 0.03805 165 122 40 3
837 Cannabis Card, please... 1.2767 0.03776 159 117 40 2
838 Sir, your dog better have peed before this part of your walk. 1.2767 0.04271 159 122 30 7
839 I’d be more impressed if it was a pig. 1.2761 0.04109 163 124 33 6
840 I'm getting complaints that it's raining. 1.2761 0.04462 163 128 25 10
841 We had a complaint. Please walk your dog before you fly him here. 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
842 Sir, you need to curb your kite. 1.2761 0.04015 163 123 35 5
843 But I went to the dog park. They said to come here. 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
844 Have you considered every possible scenario here? 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
845 In all my years on the force, this is the first time I've seen a case of man kite's dog. 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
846 I'm sorry sir, but we've been given orders to crack down on inflation. 1.2761 0.04109 163 124 33 6
847 Would you mind flying a little further downwind? 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
848 The others feel your use of helium is, let’s say.....egregious. 1.2761 0.04109 163 124 33 6
849 Sir I’m going to have to ask you to...tell me how you do that. 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
850 Excuse the pun, sir, but your dog is as high as a kite. 1.2761 0.04015 163 123 35 5
851 Don't worry, he's housebroken 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
852 The man with the cat kite wants some time now. 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
853 Sure, the leash law may not "state it specifically," sir, but it's definitely implied. 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
854 Just don't let him off-leash. 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
855 Who's higher, you or your kite? 1.2761 0.04462 163 128 25 10
856 You're going to have to put him down. 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
857 Can I pet your kite? 1.2761 0.04109 163 124 33 6
858 Do you have a plastic bag? 1.2761 0.03722 163 120 41 2
859 I don't care if it's an Airedale, get it back to the dog park. 1.2761 0.04462 163 128 25 10
860 Sorry, he just took off without me. 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
861 I know all dogs go to heaven, but I can’t seem to let go of this one yet 1.2761 0.04015 163 123 35 5
862 If he caught one, what would he do with it? 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
863 The expression goes, "Let sleeping dogs lie." 1.2761 0.04629 163 130 21 12
864 Sir, we're going to need to have your dog put down 1.2761 0.04376 163 127 27 9
865 But my dog’s name IS Roosevelt. 1.2761 0.04200 163 125 31 7
866 Sir, you're going to have to pick up after your kite 1.2750 0.04688 160 128 20 12
867 Sorry sir, my dog ate the brownies again. Now he's high as a kite. 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
868 no Sir ! The tail is not the problem ! 1.2750 0.04154 160 122 32 6
869 We’ve received complaints that’s he is biting tails 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
870 Sir, I said it'd be ok when pigs fly. 1.2750 0.04154 160 122 32 6
871 I’m sorry, but he still has to have a license. 1.2750 0.03757 160 118 40 2
872 Hello, officer. I'm glad that you're wearing a hat" 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
873 "May I see your pooper-scooper, Sir?" 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
874 I'm afraid I'll need to see your service kite license. 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
875 I'm sorry, but he keeps chasing the other kites' tails. 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
876 Just tell me he's done his business. 1.2750 0.04603 160 127 22 11
877 Some little kid said a dog ate her balloon. 1.2750 0.04339 160 124 28 8
878 I’m 98% sure that isn't how Ben Franklin did it. 1.2750 0.04154 160 122 32 6
879 I'm afraid he's all bark, no kite. 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
880 SERIOUSLY ??? There’s an ASPCR ??? 1.2750 0.04603 160 127 22 11
881 Riding with the window down had become a bit passe" 1.2750 0.04339 160 124 28 8
882 I don’t care if it floats. You still have to bag it. 1.2750 0.04339 160 124 28 8
883 You’re not in Kansas anymore. 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
884 We only allow pigs to fly! 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
885 Sir, NASA would like to have a word. 1.2750 0.04058 160 121 34 5
886 I don't care that he's an Airedale, he's still gotta go! 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
887 That's not what "Dog Days of Summer" means, sir. 1.2750 0.04248 160 123 30 7
888 Bob, we've been getting the "yellow rain" complaints again. 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
889 Its easier then walking him! 1.2750 0.04429 160 125 26 9
890 I assume she's an Airedale. 1.2750 0.03860 160 119 38 3
891 His parents were both bird dogs. 1.2750 0.04154 160 122 32 6
892 No, sir, the policy is that you're allowed to fly *with* your emotional support animal. 1.2750 0.04517 160 126 24 10
893 Ahhh...I've never seen an Airedale fully trained. 1.2750 0.04603 160 127 22 11
894 I noticed you didn't bring a plastic bag. 1.2750 0.04154 160 122 32 6
895 You are in the wrong park. The gassy dog field is two blocks south. 1.2750 0.04688 160 128 20 12
896 Do you have a per-mutt? 1.2750 0.04339 160 124 28 8
897 'Service kite' or not, sir, no dogs allowed. 1.2750 0.04603 160 127 22 11
898 In the park, over the park, it just doesn’t matter, sir. Dogs aren’t allowed. 1.2750 0.04339 160 124 28 8
899 Wow you’re really taking the open car window to the next level. 1.2739 0.04391 157 122 27 8
900 I'm not going to tell you again sir, if it is a therapy dog, you need to provide documentation. 1.2739 0.03570 157 114 43 0
901 If he soils my uniform you're in deep doo-doo. 1.2739 0.04103 157 119 33 5
902 Ok pal. Let me see your poop bag. 1.2727 0.04348 154 119 28 7
903 Defying gravity is against park regulations. 1.2727 0.04148 154 117 32 5
904 Didn't I see you in the carpool lane with a mannequin yesterday? 1.2727 0.04445 154 120 26 8
905 Sir, if you don't remove your MAGA hat, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 1.2722 0.04273 158 122 29 7
906 Sorry, only pigs allowed. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
907 Let me guess.....cannabis doggie treats. 1.2722 0.04367 158 123 27 8
908 It's OK as long as you keep him off the grass. 1.2722 0.04273 158 122 29 7
909 That science diet giving him gas again? 1.2722 0.04721 158 127 19 12
910 I don't care if your dog is named Kite; you can't fly him here. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
911 I know, but he thinks he's a kite" doesn't cut it. 1.2722 0.04178 158 121 31 6
912 All right. But make sure he stays on the leash! 1.2722 0.03878 158 118 37 3
913 That must be a bitch to steer. 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
914 What kind of diet did you put him on - beans? 1.2722 0.04178 158 121 31 6
915 She was a perfectly fine service dog on those transatlantic flights. Then she got bitten by the travel bug. Now I can't get her out of the sky. 1.2722 0.04273 158 122 29 7
916 I can only get mine to chase his own tail 1.2722 0.04367 158 123 27 8
917 No, he is not "on leash". 1.2722 0.04458 158 124 25 9
918 Any chance your dog has had access to marijuana? It looks high. 1.2722 0.04547 158 125 23 10
919 Down, boy. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
920 Winds are a little “ruff” today. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
921 the issue lies more in your lack of proper harnessing rather than the morality of the situation 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
922 Try walking him next time...it's so much better for everyone. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
923 It's O.K. as long as he stays on the leash 1.2692 0.03895 156 117 36 3
924 Don't worry, he just went. 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
925 Do the poops have parachutes? 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
926 I assume you'll still be picking up after him. 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
927 I'm guessing he's an Airedale. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
928 Technically, the law says "collar," but I'll let you off with a warning this time. 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
929 Sir, that’s a Water Spaniel, not an Airdale. I’ll have to ask you to reel it in. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
930 Please pick this caption. I have never won the New Yorker Cartoon Caption contest, and I'd really like to. 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
931 I agree that’s an innovative use of helium but the high pitched barking is disrupting the other kite flyers 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
932 It does makes picking up after him more of a challenge. 1.2692 0.04000 156 118 34 4
933 You said I had to keep him on a leash! 1.2692 0.04202 156 120 30 6
934 Kibble gives him gas. 1.2692 0.04668 156 125 20 11
935 I'm sorry, the park simply doesn't allow baseball caps. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
936 You're fine, as long as he stays on the leash. 1.2692 0.04202 156 120 30 6
937 You should see it with a tail wind. 1.2692 0.04579 156 124 22 10
938 Last week there was a guy flying a Boxer. Very hard to control. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
939 Sir, this isn't a dog park, though I'll give you both credit for the workaround. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
940 Actually, as kites go, yours may be 'Best in Show'" 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
941 Sir, perhaps you care to explain to me why your 'kite' just pooped on my head? 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
942 Sorry Officer he’s as high as a kite 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
943 Skye Terrier, am I right? 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
944 He's always been an adrenaline junkie. Even as a puppy. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
945 Technically, that is not a leash. 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
946 Yes, his name is Roosevelt. Why do you ask? 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
947 I suppose since he is on a leash... 1.2692 0.04000 156 118 34 4
948 Sorry, dogs are only allowed to be flown before 9 a.m. and after 6 p.m. 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
949 Aren't you the guy from last week with the flying pig ? 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
950 Sticking his head out of the car window wasn't good enough for him anymore!! 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
951 What can I say? He loves Mary Poppins. 1.2692 0.04668 156 125 20 11
952 Letting your freak fur fly? 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
953 not bad,but can you do it with a PIG? 1.2692 0.03895 156 117 36 3
954 You say you bought that kite from a road runner? 1.2692 0.03895 156 117 36 3
955 Just cause you’re dog’s high doesn’t make him a kite! 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
956 Sorry. It's cat day. 1.2692 0.04102 156 119 32 5
957 Good new sir we have recovered your kite. 1.2692 0.04000 156 118 34 4
958 Sorry sir. Airdales or Skye Terriers only. 1.2692 0.04487 156 123 24 9
959 I want to see if reindeer really know how to fly. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
960 You're still going to need to curb him. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
961 Yes I can see that he's on a leash, but that's not really the point. 1.2692 0.04394 156 122 26 8
962 It's not just a dog . . . it's an Airedale. 1.2692 0.04299 156 121 28 7
963 I didn't see you ask anyone else to clean up after their kite. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
964 Sir, it is not a dog park, it is a kite park. 1.2680 0.03824 153 114 37 2
965 Either diaper him up or reel him in! 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
966 Sir, you and your dog are under arrest for breaking the law of gravity. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
967 I know, smart guy: 'It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Underdog.' Save it for the Thanksgiving Parade. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
968 My schnauzer has gas problems too. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
969 Fine, I take it back, Donald. I'd vote for you for dog catcher. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
970 I love your jacket. Where did you get it? 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
971 That's my Airdale 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
972 Hey, your kite just peed on me. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
973 That's some bird dog, buddy. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
974 I don’t care if he is an Airedale, it’s still against the laws of physics. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
975 Dogged determination doesn't count in kite competitions. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
976 Housebroken? 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
977 I don't care what your cat said you should do, mister. Reel in the dog, now. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
978 Look buddy - rules are rules.... If you're going to fly your dog, do it in the dog park over on Maple Street. 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
979 If you really loved her, you'd set her free. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
980 You really should change his diet. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
981 My hat is wet. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
982 It's OK officer he is a service dog. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
983 Sir, your dog looks high. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
984 We've received several complaints that your dog bit the mail drone. 1.2680 0.04729 153 123 19 11
985 Sir, even if you're not technically "walking" him, you still have to pick up after him... 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
986 I say the dog IS on the grass. 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
987 I guess we’ll let the judge decide if he’s technically on or off leash or if kitedoodle is actually a breed. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
988 Yes, you still have to clean up after him. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
989 You got me this time. Last week I dismissed you from the dog park for kite flying. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
990 Do you have proof that he is indeed a service animal? 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
991 Yes, sir. Six feet or less. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
992 He better not have any accidents up there. 1.2680 0.04043 153 116 33 4
993 ...but it's my therapy kite. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
994 Sir, were you aware that this is a right hand only kite flying zone?' 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
995 Akita? 1.2680 0.04819 153 124 17 12
996 It's pretty clear that it was your kite that soiled the field. 1.2680 0.04043 153 116 33 4
997 No, I can't prove that's your kite poop. It's just a hunch. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
998 I don't care if he's bored at the dog park. You can't fly him here! 1.2680 0.03935 153 115 35 3
999 Someone posted a video of you tying your dog to the kite, it went viral. About twenty thousand people are on their way here, right now, to kill you. Politics and religion will get you a lone nut once in awhile but you do not mess with dog people. 1.2680 0.04729 153 123 19 11
1000 Forget the plastic baggie, you're gonna need a net. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
1001 I SEE YOUR DOG HAS SOME FLATULENCE 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
1002 He is retrieving his fribee. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
1003 She really should've done her business before she got up there. 1.2680 0.04043 153 116 33 4
1004 Granted, she's got a tail and she's flying just like the others - but one drop of pee or poo and you're out of here. 1.2680 0.04544 153 121 23 9
1005 Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to please curb your kite. 1.2680 0.04350 153 119 27 7
1006 'I don't care what he had for breakfast. That's not what we meant by learning to harness wind power.' 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
1007 What? It was on his bucket list! 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1008 Just so you know, this is an off-leash park. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1009 Look, buster, I don't care if it's an Airedale... 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
1010 It doesn't matter if your dog is now a kite, you still have to clean up after him. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
1011 May I suggest you try a breed with a slightly longer tail? 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1012 Look, even though the law you are breaking is one of physics, I still feel pretty comfortable arresting you. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1013 Don't expect bail - your partner's a flight risk 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
1014 Did you say "shedding"? That's not what I'm concerned with. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1015 This explains the golden shower complaints. 1.2680 0.04637 153 122 21 10
1016 I've received some complaints about your 'kite' marking his territory. 1.2680 0.04250 153 118 29 6
1017 I'm sorry, but you also need a pooper scooper balloon 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
1018 Helium license ? 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1019 Officer, I have a leash. 1.2680 0.04148 153 117 31 5
1020 Yes, sir, I do see its tail, but just because a cat has kittens in the oven, you don't call them biscuits. 1.2680 0.04448 153 120 25 8
1021 I told you before- no taxidermy advertising is allowed in the park. 1.2667 0.04300 150 116 28 6
1022 You're saying the Social Security Administration is telling everyone to do this when they apply for Social Security benefits? 1.2667 0.04403 150 117 26 7
1023 Dog day is tomorrow afternoon. 1.2667 0.04087 150 114 32 4
1024 Yes, I suppose it's true that the sign only says "no dog walking." 1.2653 0.04133 147 112 31 4
1025 But I'm just the tail wagging the dog, sir. 1.2653 0.04458 147 115 25 7
1026 Didn't you consider that the bloating was extremely odd? 1.2653 0.04018 147 111 33 3
1027 I've never heard of a Lighter Than Airedale!" 1.2653 0.04352 147 114 27 6
1028 Sir, we have rules, very simple rules. 1.2653 0.04133 147 112 31 4
1029 Sir, this isn't California - dogs cannot be high. 1.2653 0.04761 147 118 19 10
1030 Show me how you did that and you can stay. 1.2653 0.04352 147 114 27 6
1031 Well,you're still going to have to clean up after him when he comes down. 1.2653 0.03779 147 109 37 1
1032 That dog better be wind broken! 1.2653 0.04458 147 115 25 7
1033 Hindendog. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1034 That’s quite a story and a nice try, Sir- but you do realize, that’s not even a pig. 1.2632 0.04451 152 120 24 8
1035 I'm gonna let it float...this time. 1.2632 0.04451 152 120 24 8
1036 I'm sorry, but the Dog Days of Summer don't start here until next week. 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1037 Sir, are you high? 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1038 Don't worry officer, she already peed. 1.2617 0.04301 149 116 27 6
1039 I'm sorry, sir; you cannot fly your dog without a helmet. 1.2617 0.04405 149 117 25 7
1040 It's not the leash law that I'm concerned about. 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1041 Wouldn't it be easier to tell your kid you found a nice farm for it, rather than saying the string broke? 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1042 Sir, we're getting complaints that he is chasing others tails. 1.2617 0.04194 149 115 29 5
1043 I know, but the dog park was closed due to wind. 1.2617 0.04194 149 115 29 5
1044 You still have to pick up his poop. 1.2617 0.04606 149 119 21 9
1045 It's a skye terrier. You got a problem with that? 1.2617 0.03972 149 113 33 3
1046 You're the guy who's kite was barking in the dog park! 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1047 That doesn’t fly here. 1.2617 0.04301 149 116 27 6
1048 But he's on the leash! 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1049 You have to bring her down. People are getting wet. 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1050 My dog ate my permit. 1.2617 0.04704 149 120 19 10
1051 This felt like the best option because we just weren’t ready to let him go. 1.2617 0.04301 149 116 27 6
1052 You must be the gentlemen whose kite just died in his hot car. 1.2617 0.04507 149 118 23 8
1053 Got into your marajuana again, did he? 1.2606 0.03829 142 106 35 1
1054 No Sir, I've never heard of canine cannabis. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1055 An airedale? 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1056 The lady in the skirt wants to breed her kite with yours. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1057 The guys at the Humane Society warned me he was a bit flighty. 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1058 Could you please land your kite in the dog park. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1059 It's a rare breed. 1.2603 0.04014 146 111 32 3
1060 Darn dog got into my stash 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1061 I am training it to be an Uber drone. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1062 Has your kite had its shots? 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1063 I'll bet you were for Romney, right. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1064 What, haven't you ever seen a Boxer kite 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1065 Did you happen to see an unleashed Airedale? 1.2603 0.04130 146 112 30 4
1066 I do not care if his name is Kite, he can fly and you are a democrat. Adults cannot play in this park. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1067 It's not that you're flying him, its the howling and whimpering. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1068 Okay, it's a leash. Where's your poop bag? 1.2603 0.04130 146 112 30 4
1069 Sorry, sir, emotional support kites only. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1070 My kids are watching. I told them I’d get him to heaven. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1071 Sir, the dog days of summer don't start for another 4 weeks. 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1072 May I see your dog license, pilot license, registration and certification of insurance? 1.2603 0.04130 146 112 30 4
1073 Sir you know this park has a strict no leash policy. 1.2603 0.04667 146 117 20 9
1074 He got into the burritos. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1075 As long as you keep him on leash, we'll let it go this time. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1076 Sir, are you aware that you are breaking the laws of nature? 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1077 just be careful... last week a gentleman lost his porcupine in a shifting wind. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1078 Remember, stoop and scoop still applies 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1079 Have you considered changing his diet? 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1080 Sir, I don't really care if your dog is named Roosevelt. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1081 Do you have plastic bags to clean up after your kite? 1.2603 0.04014 146 111 32 3
1082 Has your kite been neutered? 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1083 Sir, if you let go who is going to retriever? 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1084 Let me guess: At the dog park you’re known as the guy with the kite. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1085 I got a call about a rodent problem...Reel it in please. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1086 Go fly a kite. 1.2603 0.04565 146 116 22 8
1087 The dog park was full 1.2603 0.04014 146 111 32 3
1088 I thought you said your dog does not fly." "That is not my dog. 1.2603 0.04667 146 117 20 9
1089 FYI...There's a pet cemetery a few blocks from here. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1090 The Anti-Gravity Dog Walk was last week. 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
1091 Now if it were a pig, we might allow it. 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
1092 I don't dare if he's your emotional support kite... 1.2603 0.04767 146 118 18 10
1093 So, you and your skye terrier are just out for a walk in the park? 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1094 We've had reports that he's humping other kites. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1095 Relax, he already did his business before I launched him. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1096 Sorry sir, but dog days are over. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1097 But sir, he’s not off leash! 1.2603 0.04014 146 111 32 3
1098 It's my new seeing-eye drone. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1099 That looks longer than six feet. 1.2603 0.04130 146 112 30 4
1100 But his name is Roosevelt. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1101 "Don't forget to clean up after your kite." 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1102 It's okay, just don't let him off the leash. 1.2603 0.03895 146 110 34 2
1103 Look Mac, if it were up to me he could stay...but the kites have complained that they aren't allowed in the "Dog Park", so you and Lindbergh gotta go. 1.2603 0.04243 146 113 28 5
1104 Well they should have told you about this breed's aerodynamic issues at the shelter. You still need to use the dog park. 1.2603 0.04353 146 114 26 6
1105 I'm sorry. If you don't have a baggie, you'll have to bring him down. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1106 That's right. He's the first soldier in the new Space Force. 1.2603 0.04460 146 115 24 7
1107 Have you seen the YouTube video of the Shih Tzu who can yodel? 1.2603 0.04667 146 117 20 9
1108 Sir, would you happen to know anything about reports of a man walking a kite at the dog park? 1.2571 0.04687 140 112 20 8
1109 Sir, if she poops, you still have to pick it up 1.2571 0.04345 140 109 26 5
1110 He appears to be as high as a kite. 1.2571 0.04102 140 107 30 3
1111 Fine, but there’s a fine if she bites the kites. 1.2571 0.04102 140 107 30 3
1112 Pigs are OK. But no dogs. 1.2571 0.04576 140 111 22 7
1113 But it’s my comfort kite sir. 1.2569 0.04700 144 116 19 9
1114 Ok.... but keep him away for that kite shaped like a hydrant. 1.2569 0.04379 144 113 25 6
1115 No, I would not believe he's chasing flying squirrels. 1.2569 0.04033 144 110 31 3
1116 Try grinding up a Beano tablet and sneaking it in his food. Worked wonders with my wife. 1.2569 0.04596 144 115 21 8
1117 i'm visually impaired, this is my seeing eye dog, I'm just looking around! 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
1118 I always wanted an Airedale 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
1119 Airedale, Schmairedale; read the sign. 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
1120 So how in the world did you ever come up with, "Icarus?" 1.2553 0.04547 141 112 22 7
1121 You’d be surprised how many people make the same mistake - even with the new sign. 1.2553 0.04547 141 112 22 7
1122 Don't worry - he's on a leash. 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
1123 Stop feeding him beans. 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
1124 I guess there's not much I can do since its technically on a leash. 1.2553 0.04199 141 109 28 4
1125 Who's your taxidermist? 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
1126 Sir,I am citing you for not curbing you kite. 1.2553 0.04657 141 113 20 8
1127 The vet warned that she might balloon with this new flea shot. 1.2553 0.04547 141 112 22 7
1128 Can I have what he is having? 1.2553 0.04434 141 111 24 6
1129 I'm looking for a lost a medium sized brown dog? He goes by the name of helium. 1.2553 0.04318 141 110 26 5
1130 I don’t care if his grandfather did fly on the Hindenberg. 1.2553 0.04764 141 114 18 9
1131 You know you still have to clean up after him. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1132 It’s called the Right Handed Kite Flying Competition for a reason. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1133 I don't care if his name is Fala, you can't fly your dog here. 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
1134 There are complaints about the barking. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1135 No anatomically correct kites allowed sir! 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1136 can you make it bark, i want to hear what it sounds like with Helium :) 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1137 This flies in the face of our park leash laws. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1138 Can I throw him a frisbee.? 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1139 I suppose you fly your kite at the dog park? 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1140 Sir, you need a permit for that. 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
1141 Police dogs are friendly outgoing courageous now give it back. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1142 I didn’t say you couldn’t. I just wondered *how.* 1.2538 0.04922 130 105 17 8
1143 Sir, the dog park is the next block down. 1.2536 0.04248 138 107 27 4
1144 Sir, I know he's on a leash, but we don't allow dogs in this park. 1.2536 0.04248 138 107 27 4
1145 It’s a form of artistic expression to help save the wolves, officer. My pig kite is no longer relevant in this administration. 1.2536 0.04491 138 109 23 6
1146 No officer, but I’ll keep my eyes out for him. 1.2519 0.04034 135 103 30 2
1147 He LOVES chasing pigeons. 1.2519 0.04034 135 103 30 2
1148 But officer, he's a kite runner. 1.2519 0.04034 135 103 30 2
1149 Not helium? Let me hear his voice. 1.2519 0.04426 135 106 24 5
1150 We've received a complaint that you are not picking up after your dog. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
1151 Okay, but you'll still have to pick up after him. 1.2518 0.04907 139 114 15 10
1152 Just so you know, the fine is triple if you don't pick up after him. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1153 "Sir the area for pet-flying is further down. See my hand? I've already confiscated a hedgehog today" 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1154 Sir, if that is your comfort kite I will need to see its papers. 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
1155 Never seen an airedale/skye terrier mix before 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
1156 I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but take your dog off the leash, mister. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
1157 The problem isn’t that it’s a live animal. The problem is it’s pooping on the kids. 1.2518 0.04800 139 113 17 9
1158 Listen, buddy, the only things allowed with tails in here are kites. Got that? 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
1159 There have been complaints that you are not picking up after your kite. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
1160 The fact that he's an Airedale is beside the point, sir. 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
1161 Leash only sir. No strings attached. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
1162 Just because kites have tails doesn't mean all things with tails are kites. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1163 I don't care how high he does it, you still need to pick it up. 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1164 You obviously have a lassie-faire attitude to park signs. 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1165 But officer, the sign only says ‘No dogs on the grass.’ 1.2518 0.04462 139 110 23 6
1166 Nice try, Mr. Bailey. You still have to take him to the dog park. 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
1167 You think this is weird? Go see them herding cats at the Nixon Lasso Playground. 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
1168 No dogs allowed in the park, so go fly a kite! 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
1169 Just because it has a tail it doesn’t make it legal. 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
1170 The law is pretty specific. Medium size dogs require at least a 30-pound test line. 1.2518 0.04096 139 107 29 3
1171 I've got him on a leash. 1.2518 0.03967 139 106 31 2
1172 I’m with the language cops. We can’t have folks saying: “Higher than a dog.” 1.2518 0.04577 139 111 21 7
1173 Aren't you Mitt Romney's kid? 1.2518 0.04343 139 109 25 5
1174 No officer, it’s the latest in connectivity -WiFido! 1.2518 0.04907 139 114 15 10
1175 I don't care if you scooped it. It fell on a little girl's head. 1.2518 0.04690 139 112 19 8
1176 As long as he doesn’t chase anyone else’s tail. 1.2518 0.04222 139 108 27 4
1177 No animals were injured in the drawing of this cartoon. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
1178 It better not rain! Understand? 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
1179 When I did it, my voice just got really squeaky. 1.2482 0.04405 141 112 23 6
1180 Just don’ t fly him over the picnic area!…… 1.2482 0.03846 137 104 32 1
1181 And don't tell me he's an Airedale 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1182 This goes against the laws of our city, our state, our country, and Newton. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1183 If I see him off the lead again, there will be a fine. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1184 Your dog has the worst case of gas I've ever smelled. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1185 Next park over. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1186 The Macy’s Parade? No, that’s on 77th. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1187 I got a complaint that your kite may not be potty trained. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1188 Yes, it is very impressive, but could you put a diaper on him...we've had some complaints. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1189 No,it wasn't a seagull. I'm afraid you're going to have to leave now sir. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1190 Is your kite trained? 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1191 Well, it doesn't seem to be the same to HIM.... 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1192 You're the kite guy from the dog park, aren't you? 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1193 But his name is Kite... 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1194 Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1195 We tried off-leash for awhile, but that didn't work. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1196 It's my wolfhound. He heard that Trump was elected President so he's looking for the flying pigs. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1197 Amazing. Still a dog, so you have to go. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1198 But officer, his name is really Kite 1.2482 0.04835 137 112 16 9
1199 We truly regret any pain and confusion this hurtful and inappropriate sign may have caused any of this nation's more than 4,700 flying dogs. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1200 Sorry, we don't allow leashes longer than 6 feet 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1201 Sir, you’ll have to keep your dog on the ground. The only animals allowed to fly here are pigs. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1202 I don't really care if it's an airedale. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1203 What? You've never seen a black cop before? 1.2482 0.04835 137 112 16 9
1204 No sir, you can't fly a kite at the dog park either. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1205 You should meet the lady waiting for her kite to poop in the dog park... 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1206 Bring it down. The tail must be at least 3 feet long. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1207 But he's an Airedale. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1208 Airedale, schmerdale. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1209 Sir, I’m issuing you a citation for non-conformity. Earlier today we discovered that you’re living in a non-beige house, and now this... 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1210 High as a kite" is no excuse 1.2482 0.04723 137 111 18 8
1211 Ever heard of the law of gravity? 1.2482 0.04723 137 111 18 8
1212 We received a report of flying pigs. Carry on 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1213 And now you’re gonna tell me that kites can walk. 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1214 Sorry, sir, we only allow flying pigs. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1215 There's no exception for Airedales . 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1216 Why can't you just roll down the window of your car? 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1217 Sir, you need to curb your Airedale. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1218 He thinks he's a pig. 1.2482 0.04116 137 106 28 3
1219 Sir, only registered emotional support dogs are permitted to fly. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1220 The rules clearly state that the tail must be at least fifteen inches. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1221 Filling your dog with helium is not the only issue - there's been numerous complaints about his high pitched bark. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1222 Best bird dog in the state! 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1223 No officer, he just ate a drone. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1224 Of course I understand, he’s just a bit gassy this morning... 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1225 Are you feeding him properly?? 1.2482 0.04369 137 108 24 5
1226 Sorry sir, it has to be an emotional support animal to fly. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1227 I need him back now. It's time for takeoff, and Dog is my co-pilot. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1228 My wife is having an affair. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1229 I don't care if it's a Skye terrier. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
1230 Do you really think pugs can fly? 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1231 It doesn't matter that they all have tails... 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1232 It better be toilet trained. 1.2482 0.04244 137 107 26 4
1233 Sir, a dingo did NOT eat your kite. 1.2482 0.04490 137 109 22 6
1234 He ate a whole pot of beans . . .been up there ever since. 1.2482 0.04723 137 111 18 8
1235 Wrong park, Mister Peabody. 1.2482 0.03983 137 105 30 2
1236 Sir, we have reason to believe your dog has flies. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1237 When they go low, we go high. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1238 No dogs aloft. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1239 Poop will be your downfall. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1240 Well I guess it's ok if he identifies as a kite. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1241 I'm from the TSA and there are new regulations about flying with your dog ... 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1242 Storm's coming, better pack it in. At least, I felt a sprinkle. 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
1243 ...bucket list 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1244 He believed he could fly! 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1245 No, I meant you have to bring him down, not, y'know, 'put him down'. 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1246 No metaphors allowed. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1247 Some people think he's got some Springer Spaniel in him, but he's just a stray I found hovering over my front yard one day. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1248 Sir, there are better ways to deal with a mid-life crisis 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1249 Listen, this isn't that kind of kite park. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1250 I presume that's a Skye terrier. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1251 Do you see a sign that says Dog Park? 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1252 Nice try, Jenkins. No dogs alowed in the park. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1253 Your kite have a license" 1.2463 0.04905 134 110 15 9
1254 Helium enemas are illegal, you know. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1255 Don't worry officer, he's a professional! 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1256 Any pigeons you can catch, you can keep. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1257 Keep him on leash this time, the lady with Skye Terrier doesn't want another litter of balloon dogs 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1258 I do believe there are other ways to avoid fleas and tics. 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1259 Rules, buddy...'No dogs'" 1.2463 0.04025 134 103 29 2
1260 I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve had numerous complaints from PETA about your kite. 1.2463 0.04905 134 110 15 9
1261 Kite park, dog park, ... you still have to clean up after your dog! 1.2463 0.04905 134 110 15 9
1262 OK, fine, but if he craps you are so busted. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1263 Glad to see you can still get it up! 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1264 No, sir, I don’t believe that was a passing rain cloud. 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
1265 Your kite is a dog. 1.2463 0.04789 134 109 17 8
1266 New trick? 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1267 Sir, dogs can only be flown over in the Dog Park... 1.2463 0.04424 134 106 23 5
1268 We've had some complaints. 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1269 Yes, he is a good boy. 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1270 Sir, this is a kite park, you'll have to fly your dog elsewhere. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1271 Sir, I don't care if he is on a leash, bird dogs aren’t allowed here. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1272 No , you are doing it right , they are all doing it wrong 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1273 Ben Franklin's on the phone. 1.2463 0.04162 134 104 27 3
1274 Two martinis and he always flies like a kite 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1275 I like yours the most. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1276 Nothing that interesting is allowed in this city since that prick Giuliani ruined it for everybody. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1277 I told my dog there's nothing to fear but fear itself 1.2463 0.04162 134 104 27 3
1278 Kites do not, in fact, need predators to weed out the infirm and strengthen the herd. 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1279 I must warn you that dogs attract lightning. 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
1280 Still safer than having him fly United 1.2463 0.04905 134 110 15 9
1281 Excuse me, sir. Do you have a permit to fly that dog? 1.2463 0.04025 134 103 29 2
1282 And just how long has Fala been waiting for the frisbee?" 1.2463 0.04670 134 108 19 7
1283 It's fine, as long he's fixed. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1284 What's your vector, Victor? 1.2462 0.04095 130 100 28 2
1285 The dog park is in the field over to your left. 1.2462 0.04095 130 100 28 2
1286 I don't care if he has gas. You can't fly a dog in the park. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1287 Well, as long as he stays off the grass... 1.2462 0.04238 130 101 26 3
1288 Leash or no leash, you still need a permit.” 1.2462 0.04238 130 101 26 3
1289 I don’t think this is how the space program got the first dog into orbit. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1290 He finally caught a squirrel. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1291 It doesn't matter that he's an airedale he's still not a kite. 1.2441 0.04140 127 98 27 2
1292 PETA says NO !! 1.2441 0.04140 127 98 27 2
1293 As long as he's on a leash, right? 1.2441 0.04140 127 98 27 2
1294 I see you're making the best of the dog days of summer. 1.2424 0.04703 132 107 18 7
1295 That's right. If he didn't sign the waiver, I'm afraid he'll have to come down. 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1296 I don't care if you gave him the choice of heel or helium. 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1297 Sir, this park is closed to Airedales. 1.2422 0.04539 128 102 21 5
1298 Sir, you’ve been a warned before about not flying wolf 1.2422 0.03960 128 98 29 1
1299 ‘Sir, the Skye Terriers gather over there’ 1.2422 0.04673 128 103 19 6
1300 Sir, I'm going to have to insist that you pick up your kite's poop. 1.2422 0.03960 128 98 29 1
1301 He holds it in. 1.2422 0.03960 128 98 29 1
1302 No Airdales! 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1303 Can he stop howling and just fly? 1.2409 0.03949 137 106 29 2
1304 How often do National Kite Day and National Gary Larson Day coincide? 1.2406 0.04791 133 109 16 8
1305 I take it you’re Canadian.” 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
1306 Don’t saying anything. He’ll be deflated if you think he doesn’t fit in. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
1307 I'm not disputing that he's a good dog, but that still doesn't make him a good kite. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
1308 Can you at least get him to stop sniffing their tails? 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1309 He swallowed a helium balloon 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1310 You say his mother was a papillon? Tell him to flutter on down. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1311 You know I read Helium's bad for dogs 1.2403 0.04085 129 100 27 2
1312 Mind explaining how your dog got high as a kite? 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1313 ...So long as it's consensual. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1314 Well then, what DOES dog days of Summer mean then? 1.2403 0.04230 129 101 25 3
1315 You want the dog park across the street. 1.2403 0.04230 129 101 25 3
1316 I'm asking you, sir, because, none of the other kites are dropping... well... droppings. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1317 They must be tethered at all times. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1318 I just want to know what you’ll do if he gets caught in a tree. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1319 Please take your Airedale to the Dog Park! 1.2403 0.04769 129 105 17 7
1320 You say this is how Ben Franklin invented the shock collar? 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1321 No, no, you want to keep the nose pointing *into* the wind. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1322 But, Officer, he's a Skye Terrier! 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1323 Are you saying your dog's name is Roosevelt? 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1324 Sir, I understand that everyone's been coping with the Rapture in their own way, but you're going to have to let your dog move on sooner or later. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1325 If that is a Chihuahua, it'll have to come with me. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1326 Please, just make sure you clean up after your kite. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1327 I won't ask you how. Just don't. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1328 The sign on the gate says, 'Keep your dog on a short leash at all times.' 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1329 I'm looking for a dog... 1.2403 0.04894 129 106 15 8
1330 I dunno, it's pretty big for a flying squirrel. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1331 We'd like to enlist him as a Border Collie, flying reconnaissance along the new southern wall. 1.2403 0.05016 129 107 13 9
1332 Sorry sir. No kites that mock celebrities. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1333 Just a reminder; always clean up after your kite. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1334 You think it's safe standing under him like that? 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1335 Must be hard to keep away from trees. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1336 Sir, you are a disgrace....Now tuck your shirt in. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1337 I am only going to tell you one more time, if your kite keeps on mounting other kites, you are both going to have to leave. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1338 Your dog is in violation of our local Ordinance on Gravity. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1339 Would you be interested in being on the cover of the fall Parks and Recreation Department brochure? 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1340 You should thank your lucky stars you're not an unarmed black child in this situation. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1341 He doesn't know he can't fly" is not an excuse. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1342 Your kite is the leash of my concerns. 1.2403 0.04894 129 106 15 8
1343 Sir, I believe you're in​ the wrong park. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1344 I'll need to see your pet license and your license to operate a pet. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1345 The law says leash your dog, not launch your dog. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1346 Ya' know, poodles go a lot higher. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1347 I don't think I ever heard the saying 'GO FLY A DOG' 1.2403 0.04085 129 100 27 2
1348 It's the Dog Days of Summer 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1349 Yes, I understand that he's a bird dog. You're still going to have to pick up after him. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1350 He also swims. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1351 I could have sworn it said Akita Flying Competition. 1.2403 0.04230 129 101 25 3
1352 I don't care that the helium makes him float, but you have to find a way to stop that squeaky barking. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1353 Yes, you still need to pick it up, even if it flies into the bushes. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1354 That is one way to get around the park’s no dog policy." 1.2403 0.04085 129 100 27 2
1355 I dont care how much easier it is to find the ball! 1.2403 0.04230 129 101 25 3
1356 Let me guess... it's an Airdale. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1357 Great job with the tail. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1358 You better clean up after it. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1359 The maximum leash length is six feet sir. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1360 Could you bring him down? This isn't his day. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1361 I'm sorry Mr. Romney, but that is just plain cruel. 1.2403 0.04769 129 105 17 7
1362 An airedale, you say? 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1363 The tail is not regulation length. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1364 Sorry, the tail doesn't meet regulations. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1365 How much is that doggie in the wind? 1.2403 0.04894 129 106 15 8
1366 You're playing pretty fast and loose with those leash laws, pal. 1.2403 0.04508 129 103 21 5
1367 Sir, we have complaints about your dog marking his territory. 1.2403 0.04371 129 102 23 4
1368 Beagle, fleagle -- I don't care if his mother mated with an eagle. He belongs in the dog park. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
1369 I am with the ASPCA sir. We need to speak to your dog. 1.2388 0.03989 134 104 28 2
1370 No, you can’t do it in the dog park either. 1.2381 0.04280 126 99 24 3
1371 Sir I've warned you about this before" 1.2381 0.04426 126 100 22 4
1372 It's not about the kite. 1.2381 0.04129 126 98 26 2
1373 Sorry sir, dog flying is at the 81st Street entrance. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1374 This isn't what we meant by off-leash laws. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1375 I said Let Sleeping Dogs Lie, not Let Sleeping Dogs Fly! 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1376 It might just be rain, but you still need to leave. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1377 That's no way to treat an emotional support animal! 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1378 Bird dog or not, I'm going to hound you until you rein him in. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1379 In this community it's a regulation to have a plastic bag when flying dogs. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1380 Sir, you're taking the "what's up-dog?" joke way too far. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1381 No, emotional support animals are not allowed yet. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1382 I'm not high. He's high! 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
1383 Sir, this is an off-leash area, you can let him fly. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1384 No getting high in the park, sir, even for dogs! 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1385 Sorry, but as per the regs, a service animal must demonstrate evidence of special training or skill. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1386 No problem. But please observe the pooper scooper law. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1387 It's not about the leash law. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1388 Congratulations! You've won Best in Show. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1389 You can't get around the dog ban this way. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1390 It doesn't hurt him; it's just a little pumping with helium. The flying is fun and he likes how his bark is like a duck quack now. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1391 So let me get this straight... you’re blind and you’ve filled your dog with helium to look around? 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1392 I’m sorry, pigs can’t fly here. 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1393 It's a good thing you didn't come during off-leash hours. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1394 Park ordinance requires you to pick up after your kite, sir. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1395 Sir, your dog appears to be high. Please bring him down, I'm going to have to test him for grass. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1396 He better be housebroken. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1397 The others are concerned that you haven’t walked your dog recently”. 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
1398 That’s a mighty fine tail you have on your kite 1.2362 0.03946 127 98 28 1
1399 Flatulence problems? 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1400 His name is Liam. I told him to heel... 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1401 I'm sorry officer. I see this beautiful woman in the park every day, but I never know how to break the ice. My mother suggested I get a dog. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1402 How many times do I have to tell you, dog day afternoons are the last Thursday of the month? 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1403 No, we are not expecting the president's motorcade. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1404 Okay, but if he pees on anyone, I'm going to have to issue you a kite-ation. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1405 Try whistling. 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
1406 Hawkerdoodle? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1407 He not in the park, he’s over the park. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1408 Sir, we've had complaints of falling feces 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1409 Have you tried Beano? 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1410 Sir, you're gonna have to put him down. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1411 Sir, your dog must be on a leash, not a string. 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1412 Please stop sniffing the other kites 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1413 I think we all know that wasn't a light rain. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1414 I just wanted to let you know that this is an off leash area. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1415 Sir, we've had a couple of complaints that your dog is posing a hazardous waste risk. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1416 There's a guy trying to walk a kite over at the dog run wants to talk to you. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1417 You'll still have to pick up after him. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1418 Well I have to admit I was wrong when I said this wouldn't fly" 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1419 It’s a service kite 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1420 Let me guess - he's your emotional support animal and he lifts you up. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1421 Right hand only, sir 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1422 I expect you to pick up after it. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1423 Weren’t you flying a kite at the dog park the other day? 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1424 Just be advised it is going to start raining cats. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1425 No, I'm not high, sir. Just the dog. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1426 There has been a complaint about your kite. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1427 Constipated and flatulent. 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1428 It doesn’t matter that you’re from Colorado; it’s not legal here. 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1429 His father was Underdog! 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1430 They're supposed to be on a leash, not a string. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1431 Just curious, sir, were you aware of a missing helium canister? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1432 Let me guess: Your dog ate your kite again. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1433 I don't care if the dog park is closed 1.2362 0.04101 127 99 26 2
1434 Sir, the dog-flying section is on the other side. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1435 No exceptions, sir ...poop and scoop is still the law! 1.2362 0.04101 127 99 26 2
1436 I'll have to lock him up until he learns to stop lifting his leg on other people's kites. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1437 I don't care that your dog can fly, it's disturbing the children. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1438 Only airedales and skye terriers allowed, sir. 1.2362 0.04931 127 105 14 8
1439 Ms. Poppins wants her dog back. 1.2362 0.05056 127 106 12 9
1440 Just because it has a tail doesn't mean it's a kite. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1441 Support animal?" 1.2362 0.04803 127 104 16 7
1442 Curb your dog sir. 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1443 How would you like it if we flew kites in your dog park? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1444 He's just trying to fetch my kite. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1445 He's always been a joiner... 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1446 I don't care that she'll burp out the helium soon, reel her in now! 1.2362 0.03784 127 97 30 0
1447 Sir, we've received complaints that you're not picking up after your dog. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1448 Is he sky-broken? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1449 Sure, but will he hunt? 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1450 I have the bag in my pocket. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1451 Go fly a kite is not the response that will keep me from arresting you. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1452 Can I have a turn? 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1453 Even though your dog’s not on the ground, you still have to pick up after him! 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1454 Thank you for keeping your dog on a leash but chasing kites is not permitted. 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1455 Not cool. Next thing the cats will want equal rights. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1456 Sir, the fact that he was neutered does not change the situation. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1457 Sam, I need your help. I'm having trouble getting my pig off the ground. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1458 No, Sorry sir, it is still a dog. A cool dog, but just a dog 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1459 How do you keep it stable with such a short tail? 1.2362 0.04251 127 100 24 3
1460 My Taxidermist said she got a great deal on helium... 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1461 Very impressive, but you need to take him to the dog park. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1462 I’m sorry sir, we allow box kites, not boxer kites. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1463 I don't care what he learned in obedience school. Bring him down. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1464 I assume you have a permit, sir? 1.2362 0.03784 127 97 30 0
1465 Have you seen a missing dog - medium size, a bit shaggy with floppy ears? 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1466 I'm not worried about you, but can HE hold it? 1.2362 0.03946 127 98 28 1
1467 We are getting complaints he's humping the other kites. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1468 Sir, there have been complaints that your kite is barking at the other visitors. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1469 I'm sorry, sir, but you must let sleeping dogs lie. 1.2362 0.04671 127 103 18 6
1470 That's a good buoy. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1471 But Officer, my dog is on a leash. 1.2362 0.04395 127 101 22 4
1472 His grandfather was Underdog. 1.2362 0.04535 127 102 20 5
1473 We ran out of pigs for Trump's inauguration. This will do for now. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1474 Technically you're in violation of the kite tail to body ratio. 1.2358 0.04175 123 96 25 2
1475 This is why they're called "Leash laws" and not "Kite string laws." 1.2358 0.04483 123 98 21 4
1476 Sorry, you can’t fly a dog without a license. 1.2358 0.04175 123 96 25 2
1477 His name is Kite. 1.2358 0.04175 123 96 25 2
1478 the dog park is one block south. 1.2358 0.04332 123 97 23 3
1479 I don't care if it is an Airdale it is still a dog! 1.2358 0.04175 123 96 25 2
1480 Sir, you’re disregarding the dog bylaw and the laws of physics. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1481 There have been some complaints that your kite is "marking" the other kites. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
1482 Is he always this gassy? 1.2333 0.04694 120 97 18 5
1483 We've been getting complaints he's humping the other kites. 1.2333 0.04841 120 98 16 6
1484 Okay Mr. Potter, you’ve had your fun, but now it’s time to go home. That’s not even your dog. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
1485 Is that a service dog? 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1486 His name better be Roosevelt or we have a problem here. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1487 Your kite shit on a five year old. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1488 They have as much right to be here as you do, Sir. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1489 So, you think you’re too good for the dog park? 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1490 Is he cloud broken? 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1491 I didn't know medical marijuana worked so well. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1492 Dog flying is restricted to Truman Park. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1493 Sorry, but no pooping kites allowed. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1494 We have a mission for Laika if you're interested. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1495 Sir, there have been compaints. You need to have waste pickup bags or written proof that he is indeed a pigeon. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1496 They said he would be president when dogs fly 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1497 You can stay so long as you keep him on string. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1498 Don't be concerned, officer. He thinks he's Snoopy. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1499 If that thing shits, you’re outta here! 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1500 The dog kite park is down the block. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1501 Best darn birder you'll ever find! 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1502 We’ve had complaints about your dog letting his chips fall where they may. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1503 On behalf of all postal workers, sir. I thank you... 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1504 'Sorry, pal. Kites only. You'll have to find another place to walk your Airedale 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1505 I don't care if he's a bird dog, he's still not allowed in the park. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1506 Yeah, okay ... It’s kind of a leash ... but you still have to clean up after the dog. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1507 No, sir ... the phrase ‘go fly a dog’ isn’t very common in these parts. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1508 No Officer, I have not seen a dog... 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1509 Is that a hot-Airedale balloon? 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1510 I will admit that it's a pretty clever solution to his gas problem. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1511 Can your flying dog get this porcupine out of my ass? 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1512 "It's a Labrabirdle " 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1513 The owner of the 'Two Little Pigs' kite would like a word with you. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1514 Not Funny 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1515 Looks like he's higher than a kite. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1516 Dogs do go to heaven but you have to let go of the string. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1517 Sir, please make sure to pickup your kite's poop. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1518 Don't worry. He'll be down in five farts! 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1519 But the other kites don't poop on people's heads. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1520 Mr. Romney, this is the last time I'm going to ask you. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1521 I've had reports of a dog bitting kids helium baloons .. have you seen him? 1.2320 0.05097 125 105 11 9
1522 Sorry, but we only allow service animals in the park. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1523 Fine, but this is the last time. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1524 Well Officer , his name is Kite and...he just loves to fly ! 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1525 Only when he's nervous or excited, you say? 1.2320 0.04117 125 98 25 2
1526 The neighbors are complaining that your kite is shedding. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
1527 Sir, I am afraid this is the highest level of animal abuse . 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
1528 Do you ever take him to the off-leash park? 1.2314 0.03850 121 93 28 0
1529 He's so fly. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
1530 Fetching isn't the problem, it's when he drops the ball. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
1531 Sir: Once again, I do not care that you are in a Kite park, The NYC health Code does not permit leashes longer than 6 feet long period. 1.2295 0.03996 122 95 26 1
1532 I don't care how gassy he is, just pull him in now!! 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1533 Your kite's fine as long as it remains air borne. 1.2295 0.03823 122 94 28 0
1534 Thank you for leashing your dog, sir. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1535 So explain how Fido got high as a kite. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1536 Emotional support animals can't fly here. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1537 Can you maybe not feed her beforehand? 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1538 It's okay for now, but you can't use him for the kite fighting later. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1539 I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask if you are an American citizen. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1540 Great. Now there's poo everywhere. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1541 Oh, his name is Flydo? Carry on. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1542 Kudos getting around the ‘no dogs on the grass’ rule. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1543 They're worried a doggie bag will be too little, too late. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1544 Sir, you're going to need to move downwind. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1545 That better be an Airedale or you’re in big trouble. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1546 It's what happens before picking up after your dog that I'm worried about. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1547 As long as he remains a kite he can stay. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1548 I take it, that's Roosevelt? 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1549 Listen, buddy, "Keep off the grass" doesn't exempt you from "No dogs." 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1550 Sorry sir but the dog days are over. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1551 Sir, the length of your dog leash exceeds the legal limit. Please lower your dog accordingly. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1552 No, it is NOT the same as being on a leash. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1553 Sir, perhaps an alternative to 'Bombs Away!' 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1554 No problem, sir, as long as he's wearing his leash. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1555 We had a report of a dog without a license tag. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1556 Airedale terrier? 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1557 I don't care if his poop 'floats away', you still gotta pick it up. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1558 It's an Airedale? 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1559 I've always liked the songs of free dog kite. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1560 Remember to pick up after your kite. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1561 You're not fooling anyone... 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1562 So, you’re saying it’s JUST for kites? 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1563 I don't care if he's an Airedale Terrier. You can't fly him here. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1564 He's an airedale, officer. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1565 Yes, your kite has reached the minimum height and it does indeed have a tail. Problem is, it also has bowels. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1566 I've gotten several complaints of a light drizzle coming from your direction. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1567 Nice try, bud. Leash laws still apply. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1568 Pardon me sir... is that an Airedale? 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1569 I saw you with that helium balloon guy. Take the dog down. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1570 This is a kite park, sir. The fact that he's an Airedale is irrelevant. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1571 We just ask that you clean up after your pet. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1572 It's the two other things they do that I'm worried about. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1573 Didn't you see the 'No Helium-Filled Dogs Allowed' sign? 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1574 Sorry, the rules say 'no dogs,' even if they're on the leash. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1575 Most people just bury ‘em. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1576 Dry kibble will help with the gas. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1577 Very impressive. But I'm afraid you still need to take him to the dog park. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1578 An airdale, I presume. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1579 I know it’s legal now, but you really should keep your dog away from your stash. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1580 We've had complaints about your kite marking its territory. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1581 If he does not go after this ball then he can be considered a kite under the law. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1582 He's had his shots, I don't see what the problem is. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1583 I don't know whether I should call Animal Control or the FAA. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1584 We're looking for a man who sneaked in a dog. 1.2295 0.04162 122 96 24 2
1585 Rescue dog. Fear of heights. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1586 It started when he swallowed my granddaughter's, helium balloon" 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1587 This is a leash! 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1588 Tell me that's not an Airedale 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1589 I’m sure he is having fun but the lady whose head he crapped on isn’t. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1590 I don't care that she's an Airedale. No dogs allowed. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
1591 Excuse me sir, but no dogs are allowed in the air space between 9a and 5p. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1592 I hope that kite don't leak. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1593 Does your dog there have a medical marijuana card sir? 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1594 Because you can't scoop on the fly. 1.2295 0.04909 122 101 14 7
1595 I don't care if his name is Roosevelt. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1596 Where's the pooper scooper, pal . . or are you gonna use your hat? 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1597 Please make sure to curb your kite 1.2295 0.05045 122 102 12 8
1598 Remove your dog or be ticketed. 1.2295 0.04322 122 97 22 3
1599 I don’t care if his breed can do that! You still need to pick up after him. 1.2295 0.04476 122 98 20 4
1600 Well if you see him, call animal control. 1.2295 0.04769 122 100 16 6
1601 I don't care if he is a Skye Terrier--bring him down now! 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1602 There have been some questions, sir - is she flightbroken? 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1603 Let him go, Sir. If he is truely yours, he will return. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1604 Children are crying, Edgar. 1.2288 0.04066 118 92 25 1
1605 I'm going to need to see his medicinal marijuana card, sir. 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1606 Sir, I mentioned to you last week that drones and dogs are not allowed here. 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1607 Sir, I’m going to have to cite you for dogfighting. 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1608 The "off-leash area" may be a better bet. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1609 ok, but fly him on over the dog park when he needs to you -know-what 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1610 Did you say it was a shitzu? 1.2288 0.04066 118 92 25 1
1611 Sorry Sir, Without a diaper, Your kite is in violation of the clean air act 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1612 Yes, I have insurance. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1613 Well, dispatch called in a 'Kite Biter' so I figured I'd check here first." 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1614 Sorry Sir, but there have been reports that your kite has been threatening the other kites. 1.2276 0.04291 123 98 22 3
1615 The rest of them are leashed, too, but that’s not my point. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
1616 Wise guy, huh? 1.2269 0.04375 119 95 21 3
1617 No, you can't go off-leash here. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1618 Would you consider donating your dog to the police department's drone protection division? 1.2250 0.03828 120 93 27 0
1619 You are barking up the wrong kite! 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1620 Nice try sir, but there are no dogs allowed in the park. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1621 No, this isn't the Macy's Parade. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1622 It's when pigs fly, sir 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1623 Sir, it seems that your kite has not been properly neutered 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1624 Would you like your kite fixed? 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1625 Uh, sir, the phrase is "when PIGS fly". 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1626 You could just take him for a drive on the expressway and let him hang his head out the window. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1627 Sir, you'll need to clean up after your kite. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1628 The Roosevelt park for dogs on meth is across the street. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1629 Just be sure to pick up after your kite, Mac. 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1630 The dog's fine -- someone complained you're the wrong ethnicity for this park. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1631 The Dog Fly is on the other end of the park. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1632 Excuse me sir, this is the ‘If pigs could fly’ park 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1633 There have been complaints about sporadic splash downs. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1634 I guess must have I grabbed the wrong leash. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1635 I understand dogs are allowed on-leash. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1636 He is a trained service dog and loves to fly. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1637 Yes, that is amazing, but you are still going to have to scoop. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1638 Sir, I understand your dog identifies as a flying squirrel but he needs to be on the ground when he goes to the bathroom. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1639 Sir, is that your empty Canister of helium in the parking lot. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1640 Two words: kite droppings 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1641 Recreational helium is still a federal offense. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1642 But officer! If it flies like a kite, and has a tail like a kite, it’s a kite. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1643 I want you to know, sir, that I voted for you in 2012. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1644 Sir, your 10 minutes is now finished, please allow the next person to use the flying fox. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1645 My dog had the same problem when we put him on a raw diet. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1646 Sir, do you have time to talk about our Lord and savior? 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1647 I don’t care if he’s on a leash — we keep getting calls about yellow rain. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1648 That's not what we meant by pet friendly event 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1649 I am sorry sir, but your airedale is not licensed for this park. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1650 But Officer, it’s an emotional support dog! 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1651 Sorry, sir, you need a leash to fly your dog. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1652 Your kite better be house broken! 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1653 Please bring him down, I'd like to check his tags. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1654 Sir! the barking is disturbing the other flyers. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1655 How did you manage to get him up so high with such a short tail? 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1656 What happens when fluffy over there finally passes gas? 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1657 I'm sorry, but your kite does not meet the minimum tail-length requirements." 1.2250 0.04007 120 94 25 1
1658 Do you know why I pulled you over? 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1659 I told him to 'roll over', and you won't believe what happened next. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1660 You say he's a companion kite and so where is his yellow vest? 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1661 Wow, Rex will do just about anything to fit in, eh? 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1662 Everyone’s wondering how you got the helium in. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1663 Sorry, sir, no boxer kites. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1664 In your case a poop bag is not enough. Do you have your baseball glove? 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1665 So, let me get this straight; your dog's name is Kite? 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1666 I'm afraid I must ask you to leave the park. If we allow dogs to fly here, can pigs be far behind? 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1667 We have received complaints about you kite fighting with the other kites. You will need to muzzle your kite. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1668 It’s the rule; you catch the stool. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1669 We both needed some air. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1670 Didn't you learn your lesson the first time, Mr. Romney? 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1671 You wouldn’t happen to work at the CRISPR lab? 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1672 That’s a beautiful German shepbird. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1673 Sorry officer, my dog's very light on his feet. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1674 Marjorie wants you and Felicia to come for lunch next Thursday. She’s making cornbread. 1.2250 0.05085 120 101 11 8
1675 And, inflating your dog with helium is a separate offense, sir. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1676 Airdales are illegal in this park. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1677 You still have to clean up after it! 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1678 If pigs can fly, so can he! 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1679 Sir, that’s our drug sniffing dog and he’s high on something. 1.2250 0.04945 120 100 13 7
1680 Very clever. You still have to scoop. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1681 ...if he comes back, he’s yours; if he doesn’t he never was. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1682 I don't care if he is an Airedale, you're in the wrong park. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1683 Sir, please clean up after your kite. 1.2250 0.04007 120 94 25 1
1684 Is he airbroken? 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1685 Yes, it rhymes with "Bite Bark" and no that's not close enough. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1686 Next thing ya know it'll be raining kites and dogs. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1687 Nice Airdale. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1688 I don't care if your dog can fly. Get him down. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1689 Sir, I'm from the FAA. You'll have to reel him in - support animals were banned from this airspace last week 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1690 ThePiñata Park is to right 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1691 There's been a report of illegal kite fighting. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1692 OK it's an Airedale but it's still the wrong park. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1693 Are you aware your service dog is high on the job? 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1694 Sir, I'm sorry, but the dog-flying contest is over at TEDDY Roosevelt Park. 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1695 May I also assume that you brought bags with you? 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1696 Don't tell me your dog got into your medical marijuana again. 1.2250 0.03828 120 93 27 0
1697 What do you feed her? Mine can't even jump onto the couch. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1698 Mr. Romney? 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1699 New York City leashes must not exceed six feet. 1.2250 0.04654 120 98 17 5
1700 You fly him, fine. He flies you, an issue. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1701 I don't care how much gas he has, you can't fly him here. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1702 Correct Sir, the code may not fully reflect our commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion but he’ll have to relocate to the dog Park nonetheless 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1703 Just make sure he doesn't mark his territory! 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1704 but he is so happy... 1.2250 0.04342 120 96 21 3
1705 Yeah, his name is Roosevelt. 1.2250 0.04802 120 99 15 6
1706 You think you're really clever,don't you? 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1707 So will he stay floating in the yard or do you have to tie him to a post? 1.2250 0.05085 120 101 11 8
1708 It's fine to fly your dog, but you've still got to pick up the poop. 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1709 We're investigating a report of some stolen helium. 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
1710 No, sir. I haven't seen "All dogs go to heaven 2" 1.2250 0.04501 120 97 19 4
1711 Sorry sir, there is no doggy style in this park 1.2241 0.04257 116 92 22 2
1712 A kite-o-doodle? Seriously? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1713 I told him, 'Look, kites!', but he heard, 'Look, cats!' 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1714 I don't care if it is and airedale; no dogs in the park! 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1715 I don't know what you did with him but I saw you come in with a dog. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1716 Sir, I’ve told you before - it’s only good luck if a bird does it. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1717 It doesn't matter. Last week it was a pig. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1718 If those were raindrops, why don't I see any clouds then? 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1719 This isn’t what ‘all dogs go to heaven’ means 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1720 I'm sorry, sir, but you must be licensed to fly a dog. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1721 But if your airedale likes to fly, and the lap dogs are running around the track, what are the poodles doing? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1722 You single handedly are responsible for ten new pages in the handbook. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1723 I've heard of Labradoodles and Puggles, but I always thought a Beagle was just a Beagle. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1724 Well, sir, that all depends on how you define 'kite' 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1725 Yes, he's high as a kite, but he's not in fact a kite! 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1726 You're telling me your dog at your kite? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1727 I am sorry sir, only live pigs are allowed to be flown. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1728 Were you the guy who was walking a kite at the dog park? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1729 Your kite defecated on a five year old. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1730 I don't care if she is an Airedale, no dogs are allowed in the park. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1731 Mr. Romney, we've had some complaints. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1732 Sir, your leash can be no longer than six feet. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1733 Don't forget to pick up after your kite. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1734 I don't care if they named the park after him. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1735 You know the law. Flying dogs need to wear helmets. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1736 Taking the dog days of summer to new heights, are you? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1737 I don't care that he's an Airedale, this park is only for kites. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1738 On leash isn't the issue, sir. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1739 Box kites are fine, but boxers are out of the question. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1740 But officer, the sign said 'Dogs allowed on leash.' 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1741 I'm going to have to issue you a ticket for violating the laws of gravity. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1742 I'm sure your grandpa was in dogfights as a war pilot too but he describing something completely different to you 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1743 I don't care if it's and airedale, it still animal cruelty. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1744 I’m not the owner, just the flyer. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1745 Yes, a proper leash is required. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1746 It's not the flying. It's the howling. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1747 Yes,the park rules say you you can walk your fighting dog,or you can fly a fighting kite,but you cannot fly a fighting dog. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1748 What kind of "assist animal" do you call that? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1749 Is your Airedale licensed? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1750 It's my new hybreed model. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1751 Sir, is that dog an Airedale? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1752 Excuse me sir, but aerial dogfights are strictly prohibited. 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1753 Sorry Sir, but we need that dog on a leash, not a string. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1754 Service animal or not, sir, that dog don't fly here. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1755 I don’t care if you named your dog “Kite”. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1756 I know that he's an Airdale, but that doesn't give you permission to fly that dog here! 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1757 I'm a cat person myself. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1758 He was reluctant at first, but know that he has learned to fly, I have to keep him on a short leash 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1759 Is that your spirit animal? 1.2222 0.03860 117 91 26 0
1760 I know it’s an Airedale, sir, but this park is for kites. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1761 Glad to see you're obeying the leash law sir. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1762 No, I don't believe he is your seeing eye dog. 1.2222 0.03860 117 91 26 0
1763 You realize you'll have to clean up after it. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1764 Sorry officer, he got into the pixie dust again. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1765 He's scouting for a fire hydrant 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1766 His favorite movie is Up. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1767 The balloon man is missing his helium tank 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1768 Apparently you haven't read the fine print on our leash law. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1769 Was the dog park that boring? 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1770 You're not fooling anyone, mister. There's a dog on the end of that string. Bring him down now and get a a license. 1.2222 0.03860 117 91 26 0
1771 You've got to do something about the slobber! 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1772 I've heard of bird dogs... just never seen one. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1773 I hear what you're saying, but he's technically not "On the Grass." 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1774 I hope you brought a plastic bag. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1775 Our vet prescribed him cannabis oil for his anxiety. 1.2222 0.05021 117 98 12 7
1776 The leash law specifically says 'attached to collar'" 1.2222 0.05166 117 99 10 8
1777 You still need to curb your dog, sir. 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1778 The dog park is at the other end of town. Just thought you might like to know. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1779 The dog days are over, sir. The dog days are done. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1780 You can dogfight, but he has to be muzzled. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1781 We heard that companion dogs are now able to fly free. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1782 That's not quite what we had in mind when we passed the leash law, sir. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1783 He may be on a leash, but clearly he's high as a kite. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1784 Either I'm high as a kite... or your dog is. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1785 Sir, just what have you been feeding your dog? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1786 Again, sir, it's not a 'kite' if you have to force-feed it helium for it to fly. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1787 I admit his acrobatic precision is impressive, but I didn't say clean up your dog's LOOPS. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1788 Ask him if he can see any illegal immigrants. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1789 It's actually called 'Downward Dog' and you want the Yoga Park. 1.2222 0.03860 117 91 26 0
1790 Where's your poop drone? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1791 all dogs go to heaven, unless tied to a string. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1792 Pigs, not dogs. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1793 And then she texted me to ‘go fly a kit.’ 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1794 Tell him to sit. 1.2222 0.05166 117 99 10 8
1795 It may have a tail, but that doesn't make it a kite. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1796 Sure. "Man kites dog...." Very clever. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1797 You're under a pet. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1798 https://www.caninejournal.com/dogs-and-marijuana/ 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1799 Being on-leash and being a kite are distinctly different issues, sir. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1800 No, seriously, what is wrong with you? 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1801 Keep him away from the flying squirrels. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1802 Let me guess. You're dog's name is Roosevelt? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1803 You're violating the spirit of the leash law. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1804 Yes, we're all very impressed you have a trained rat that flies. But this is a kite-flying contest. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1805 I don't care if he is a skye terrier, bring him down! 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1806 I don't care if your dog's name is Roosevelt. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1807 Is that an Airedale terrier? 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1808 Don't you think this is a strange hobby for a taxidermist? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1809 A lot of people would reject a dog that identified as a kite. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1810 Is that one of those new Labrokites? 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1811 What kind of stomach issues? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1812 It's okay, sir. I did that to my ex-wife's cat. There is nothing in the books, specifically, about repurposing an animal. Carry on. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1813 I'm afraid we no longer allow emotional-support animals. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1814 Yes, officer, this is his leash. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1815 Sorry sir, border collies have recently been added to our no-fly policy 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1816 Curb your enthusiasm. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1817 Your kite just violated the Airborne Particulate Matter Ordinance. 1.2222 0.05021 117 98 12 7
1818 So, you're telling me you know nothing about the dog poop on my hat? 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1819 No hot doggin. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1820 Balloon clown isn’t pressing charges. Now, about that missing helium tank... 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1821 So, he's an Airedale? 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1822 Aren't you the guy who was pulling a kite on a leash, at the dog park? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1823 No, Officer, I will NOT put him down. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1824 ...and then she said, yeah right! When dogs fly... 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1825 It doesn't look like a pig to me 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1826 Yes, I do think that doggie diapers would address all of my concerns. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1827 So,What Does the Fox Say? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1828 I thought dogs were allowed so long as they are on a leash. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1829 Well I don't think it was good luck. 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1830 As long as you keep him on a leash... 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1831 Leashes actually aren't required in the kite park 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1832 Pigs are the only animal allowed to fly here. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1833 Airedales only. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1834 ‘This is an off-leash dog park. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1835 Please pick up after your kite. 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1836 You have the leash, now you need the plastic bag. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1837 There's laws against feeding helium to vermin. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1838 Airedale, Schmerdale. No Dogs means No Dogs. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1839 Very amusing. but can he roll over and play dead? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1840 Im trying, but he doesn't listen to commands. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1841 We have an ordinance against protest kiting. 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1842 No, sir, the fact that he's an Airedale doesn't help. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1843 I think you want the off-leash park down the road. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1844 What other tricks does he do? 1.2222 0.04396 117 94 20 3
1845 That’s very impressive, sir, but you still have to clean up after him. 1.2222 0.04046 117 92 24 1
1846 Kite Park", "Dog Park", so now the government is telling me what I can bring to the park 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1847 Maybe he's a float, but he's not a kite. 1.2222 0.04225 117 93 22 2
1848 Kale, it gives him gas 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1849 Sir, your dog is as high as a kite. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1850 I'm sorry,sir,but helium-filled dogs are against the rules. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1851 There have been complaints about the excessive barking. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1852 Just be sure to clean up after your "kite". 1.2222 0.04873 117 97 14 6
1853 It won't work - that's not a pig. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
1854 I'm not sure of his breed, I got him from the shelter. 1.2222 0.04719 117 96 16 5
1855 He's Gassy 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1856 I'm more impressed than mad. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1857 Sir, I'd need you to put it down. 1.2193 0.04273 114 91 21 2
1858 I thought it was a dog park and didn't want to disappoint him. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1859 Let me guess, she got into your stash again. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1860 Sir, we’ve had some complaints that your dog has been, shall we say, “letting it fly.” 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1861 Please take your kite for a walk. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1862 He found the mushrooms? 1.2174 0.04056 115 91 23 1
1863 Sorry. Yesterday was dog day. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1864 I don't care how many helium balloons your pooch swallowed! USE THE POOPER SCOOPER or I'm gonna put YOU in a cage! 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
1865 Makes it tougher to teach him to heel. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1866 I hope you walked him first. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1867 Just tell him to stop singing I Believe I Can Fly. 1.2174 0.04907 115 96 13 6
1868 I guess the Trump baby balloon got stuck at immigration? 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
1869 They told us the same thing at the dog park. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1870 Yes he flies like an eagle, but we just saw he craps like a seagull... a gross violation of the pet-poop ordinance. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1871 Sir, we’ve had several complaints regarding your kite not having been curbed before it was airborne. 1.2174 0.05060 115 97 11 7
1872 Sorry, but the flying weasel Park is two blocks from here. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1873 Sir, you will have to leave. This is kites for freedom event. The string theory and space alteration conference and faux news events are at the Manhattan Projects. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1874 You’ve got to take down your pit balloon. He’s intimidating the other kites. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1875 A seeing SKY dog?! Get out of here. 1.2174 0.04585 115 94 17 4
1876 You'll need plastic bags and a baseball mitt to fly your dog here. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1877 I don't care if his name is AKITE.....you can't fly him here... 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1878 I couldn’t find a flying pig 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1879 Rufus, is just super competitive. 1.2174 0.05060 115 97 11 7
1880 OK, I get it. The sign says, "No walking dogs in the park.". But we are still concerned about the fallout, 1.2174 0.04416 115 93 19 3
1881 Remember to clean up after your kite. 1.2174 0.04240 115 92 21 2
1882 I know not to leave him in the car 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
1883 Sorry officer, I can't hear you over this howling wind. 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1884 He's fine officer - his bark is worse than his flight. 1.2162 0.03925 111 87 24 0
1885 You will have to leave sir--that is not rain! 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
1886 You read the sign. That's no pig. 1.2162 0.04322 111 89 20 2
1887 adfsafdadfsd 1.2162 0.04686 111 91 16 4
1888 Sorry, airedales don't qualify. 1.2162 0.03925 111 87 24 0
1889 Sir, you will have to come with me. You are attacking the laws of gravity. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1890 Either that's a kite looks like a dog or we got a problem. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1891 He's as high as a kite - bring that dog down. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1892 Sir, the Ki-O-Te park is down the street. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1893 "I'd like to see, both your dog's and your license sir. We've been getting complaints of 'canine droppings' falling on cars parked here in our lot." 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1894 Yes, it's an off-leash park. But I wouldn't recommend it. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1895 Sir, I don't care that his name is Roosevelt. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1896 No, I haven't seen your cat. 1.2143 0.04096 112 89 22 1
1897 Sir, the saying is when pigs fly. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1898 I just like to remind people that taxidermy can be fun. 1.2143 0.05141 112 95 10 7
1899 I don't care if he has gas! 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1900 Sir, that is not a pig. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1901 And what made you think this was a good idea? 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1902 A woman complained that you didn't pick up after him and it ruined her hair. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1903 Reel! 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1904 Okay. Just so we understand, you’ll bring him down when pigs fly. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1905 No, it doesn't matter that it's your emotional support animal. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1906 Sorry, no dogs allowed, including Airedale terriers. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1907 I'm afraid you're going to have to take your kite down or else risk being sued for libel by President Trump." 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1908 Sorry. Even with this training, we still can't let your emotional support animal pilot the plane. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1909 Aren’t you a little old to believe in flying rats? 1.2143 0.05141 112 95 10 7
1910 Nice try. As soon as soon as he hits the ground you’re getting a ticket 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1911 Excuse me sir, no dogs are allowed. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1912 Just because it can fart and fly does not mean it is a kite. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1913 Nice try Martin. The “No Dogs Allowed” sign still applies. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1914 The others are potty trained. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1915 Sir, for the last time, please stop inflating your dog! 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1916 I can see he's leashed; it's the droppings I'm worried about. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1917 The Dump Trump Dog Park is on Pensylvania Avenue 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1918 Sir, this is an off-leash park. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1919 Is that a new breed of Airedale? 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1920 Sir, I'm afraid you'll need to take that back to the barking lot. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1921 Ok, look, here's the deal. Technically, he's now a bird, so if he poops, I don't have to clean it up. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1922 Well, if you can teach him to fly, it shouldn't be that hard to teach him not to pee while he's up there! 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1923 Bowser may have gas but that does not qualify him as a kite. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1924 Nice try pal. The dog park is two blocks over. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1925 What? He’s not fond of walks?!… 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1926 The novelty wore off when that dog started pooping. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1927 Is that a pig? 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1928 I'd say you need to balance your dog's diet. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1929 The question now, sir, is whether the dog is walking you. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1930 Just make sure you pick up after him. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1931 I'm responding to a call about animal cruelty, but it looks like it's a little blown up 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1932 We're getting complaints about the droppings. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1933 Gas? 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1934 No Sir, New York’s “magic golden rain” is not a thing. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1935 His name is Roosevelt 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1936 He ate all your edibles? 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1937 What exactly did you feed him? 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1938 Just stay clear of the empanada truck. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1939 This is not the place to get your dog high." 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1940 We had a few complaints from the picnic grounds about scattered showers. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1941 We have an extremely unhappy wedding party downwind from that tree line... 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1942 This used to be a dog park, we've had to adapt. 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1943 No, it would not be okay if it were alive 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1944 I can see he's leashed...You're just lucky I'm off doody. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
1945 I will have to cite you, sir. That leash is far too long 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1946 If pigs could fly, why are you settling for a dog? 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1947 Officer, if you are asking where my pig learnt to fly, it was at Hogwarts 1.2143 0.05141 112 95 10 7
1948 Sir, you'll need to come with me. Your dog is as high as a kite. 1.2143 0.04982 112 94 12 6
1949 I appreciate Rex is trying to fit in, but it's still our policy. No dogs allowed. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1950 Sir - Airedale ‘s aren’t supposed to be airborne 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
1951 I'm sorry sir, only Airedale Terriers are allowed. 1.2143 0.04472 112 91 18 3
1952 Excuse me sir, did you happen to see a stray dog run by? 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1953 I'm guessing the car window isn't cutting it. 1.2143 0.04288 112 90 20 2
1954 Watchdogs are only allowed at Nixon Kite Park. 1.2124 0.04254 113 91 20 2
1955 I don't care if it's name is Roosevelt, you can't fly your dog here! 1.2124 0.04779 113 94 14 5
1956 Your leash is longer than six feet. 1.2124 0.04064 113 90 22 1
1957 I'm sorry sir, this is an off-leash area. 1.2124 0.04064 113 90 22 1
1958 You couldn’t have at least neutered him first? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1959 I don't CARE if your dog IS named Roosevelt... 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
1960 He may well have gone before launch, but I'm not willing to take that chance. 1.2124 0.04611 113 93 16 4
1961 What's the dog's name? CGI. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1962 I don't care if your Airedale's named named after 2 former presidents, you, and he, cannot consume marijuana edibles in the park. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1963 Don't worry. He did his business before takeoff. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1964 Remember - the 'bag it' policy still applies. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
1965 Is he Kite Park trained? 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1966 Cheddar jump! Cheddar stay! 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
1967 While there's no specific code violation, I simply can't not write you up. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
1968 As they always say, it’s not the dog in the kite, it’s the kite in the dog. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
1969 Irrefutable proof? No. What I do have is poo on my hat. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
1970 It's for bulls, moose, and kites only. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1971 You are attached to that? Just let it go. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1972 For the last time...NO dogs allowed in the park! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1973 And did you bring an umbrella for everyone? 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1974 Is this some sort of protest? 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1975 Of course, you are complying with our leash law, however, it is your failure to obey the pick up after your pet law that has everyone concerned. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1976 Sir, it’s starting to sprinkle. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1977 No flying dogs without a diaper. Period. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1978 Tethered and leashed are not the same thing. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1979 No, I'm not interested in how you train your bird dogs. I'd like to ask you a couple questions about a missing helium tank... 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1980 I see your Lab's met his diet goal." 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1981 Sorry, Sir. No dogs above four feet! 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
1982 If you would please stop challenging people to a "dog fight" we'd really appreciate it. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1983 No. And you can't walk your kite here, either. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1984 No, that doesn't count as being on leash. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1985 I’m sorry. But I’ve been delegated to this stupid New Yorker cartoon contest and I’’m supposed to ask you why your kite is so unconventional. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1986 I don’t care if his name is Teddy. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1987 At least it keeps him from chasing squirrels. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
1988 We don't let kites in the dog park either. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1989 The dog is fine but you didn't clean up your helium canisters. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1990 OK - They're the same family, but it's not a flying squirrel 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1991 you are OK but don't bring that Trump blimp here again! 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1992 You could be the best K9 trainer this force has ever seen. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1993 The canine my friend is blowing in the wind, the canine is blowing in the wind. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1994 No dogs. Even on a leash. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1995 Mind helping me catch a flying squirrel? 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
1996 Sir, we removed all of the flying squirrels from the park last week. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
1997 I do hope your kite is housebroken" 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
1998 Is he part airedale? 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
1999 No, a string is not a leash. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2000 OK, I'll let it go this time because he's on a leash. But you've got to clean up after him. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2001 Sir, your dog is not a kite! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2002 Final warning about the tail biting, Henry. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2003 Sorry,high string dogs not allowed. 1.2091 0.05182 110 94 9 7
2004 I think we can both agree my dog is above the leash law 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2005 Sir. Pigeons are bad enough. Did you walk him first? 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2006 Sir, please curb your dog before there is an unfortunate accident. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2007 Eleanor would not be amused. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2008 I don't care if he is an airedale. Get him down. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2009 I think you'd be better off at the dog park 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2010 I don't see your plastic bags, sir. Or your catchers mitt. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2011 The dog park was too crowded. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2012 The Dog Park is around the corner. This park is only for Kites! 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2013 Sir you can't fly dogs here." park official "I know I didn't think I could either!" man 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2014 Catch anything' 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2015 It's okay if you can document that it is an emotional support animal. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2016 No sir, a string is NOT a leash. 1.2091 0.05018 110 93 11 6
2017 It’s easy. First I reverse the vacuum cleaner hose............. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2018 Be sure to pick up after your kite. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2019 Empty your pockets. Your dog is higher than a kite. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2020 I don't care if FDR did have a dog, you can't fly dogs in the Kite Park! 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2021 But he is on a leash. 1.2091 0.05182 110 94 9 7
2022 Good buoy! 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2023 Delusions of grandeur? 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2024 I'm afraid, sir, your leash is much too loose. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2025 But officer I'm not walking the dog 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2026 Sir, I need you to move your illegally parked helium truck. 1.2091 0.05182 110 94 9 7
2027 I don't care how strong the wind is; the dog park is over there. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2028 He's as high as a kite, sir, so it's painfully clear that you have NOT been keeping him off of the grass! 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2029 Wolf in Kite's Clothing. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2030 You are a sick puppy. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2031 Did I feel a raindrop? 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2032 It is ok officer he thinks he is a pig 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2033 Isn’t it a little hot to be wearing a jacket, sir? 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2034 He’s an Airedale’s you know. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2035 Constipated? 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2036 I hope he went before he came. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2037 It's ok; he's an Airdale. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2038 But it is a leash! 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2039 Sir, would you mind holding this string? I got to go take a leak. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2040 Well, he flies as high as a kite. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2041 When I graduated from dogcatcher school, they gave everyone a comically oversized butterfly net. "Why would I ever need *this* thing," I said. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2042 Sir, I need to ask you to keep your dog on a shorter leash. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2043 For the last time, stop shouting "Yabbidi dabbidi do" . It isn't even a bear. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2044 Airedales must be grounded in the park. 1.2091 0.04302 110 89 19 2
2045 I don't care if you filled him with helium, this park is for kites only. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2046 It’s always refreshing to find someone else who recycles and reuses. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2047 Sir, the ordinance clearly states that leashes must not exceed 8 feet. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2048 Sir, you are allowed to off-leash your pet during these hours. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
2049 We've had a few complaints about dog droppings. 1.2091 0.04849 110 92 13 5
2050 I used to be a helium salesman. He's my emotional support service dog. 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2051 Good try with the helium sir, but you must move to the dog park. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
2052 His name is Sam, he is a therapy dog and usually flies a couple of times a week. 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2053 Lady over there says you got her kite stuck up in a tree. 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2054 You seem like you would benefit from a review of the leash laws in certain areas of the community. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2055 I see he's back on a low carb diet. 1.2056 0.04144 107 86 20 1
2056 You're okay as long as you keep your kite on the leash. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2057 No sir, the forecast for today is not cloudy with a chance of milk bones. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2058 Sir, it's no longer a dog park. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2059 This is not my dog! 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2060 She watched All Dogs Go to Heaven. But it's not her time. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2061 Well because Sir, kites don’t poop. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2062 Sure he loves it. But is he potty trained? 1.2056 0.04144 107 86 20 1
2063 We need more like you. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2064 Don't think you're the first one pulling this off. 1.2056 0.05098 107 91 10 6
2065 I hope for your sake that your bark is worse than your kite. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2066 You see, not all dogs go to heaven! 1.2056 0.04144 107 86 20 1
2067 That's great: he flies. Ya still gotta pick up his poop. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2068 I wouldn't send a dog out on a kite like this! 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2069 He got into my edibles. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2070 Sir, I believe your have your dog high on something. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2071 You two mastered fetch? 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2072 I don’t care if she’s an airedale, sir. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2073 That's one of the disadvantages of owning an Airedale. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2074 Are you telling me your dog is high as a kite? 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2075 I'm sorry sir. You'll still need a scooper. 1.2056 0.04144 107 86 20 1
2076 I suggest you change your dog's diet away from beans. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2077 Sorry sir, it doesn’t matter if his feet are not on the ground, the leash cannot be longer than 6 feet 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2078 I captured Underdog, I trained Underdog. He was a friend of mine. Sir, that is no Underdog. 1.2056 0.04739 107 89 14 4
2079 Sir, do I have to remind you again? 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2080 Sorry, no dog flighting allowed. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2081 Does your dog have a license to fly 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2082 You bet I'm bird-dogging you. 1.2056 0.04351 107 87 18 2
2083 House trained and parked trained are not the same thing . 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2084 We don't supply poop bags so I hope you brought your own. 1.2054 0.03834 112 89 23 0
2085 Sir, no dog flyers are permitted in this park. 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2086 No! I do not appreciate your dog-gone joke! 1.2054 0.04039 112 90 21 1
2087 Pomeravian? 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2088 No sir, you're fine, I'm just wondering how you trained him to do that? 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2089 Please clean up aft your dog. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2090 Sure, but can she sit? 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2091 His bark is worse than his flight! 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
2092 This isn't what I meant when I said that you have to use a leash here. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2093 What do you mean ‘If pigs could fly’? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2094 Sir, your kite has the wrong kind of tail. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2095 Your dog still needs to be on a leash. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2096 I was born female, so I can relate. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2097 I get bloated after Mexican. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2098 Sir please move to the designated dog flying area of the park. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2099 Dog poop, officer? I don't even have a dog. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2100 I am a kiting specialist, usually checks, but trying dogs today. Gotta problem with that? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2101 Too small for the Macy’s parade? 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2102 I’m afraid a kite tether still doesn’t qualify as a leash, sir. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2103 Good looking Airedale. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2104 I’m sorry Sir, but a leash is not allowed to exceed a length of 5 feet. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2105 I understand how important the tail is, but... 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2106 I'm sorry, sir, it's not the dog itself that's the issue. It's just ... cleaning up after him can become quite messy. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2107 His name is Washington, I didn't think anyone would notice 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2108 Sir, you'll have to come back during off-leash hours. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2109 This is the last time I am going to warn you about getting that dog high! 1.2019 0.05182 104 89 9 6
2110 Sir, you’re going to have but keep that kite on a tighter leash. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2111 He dreamt he could fly--and voila!? 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2112 Sir, this is not a pet-free zone. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2113 Is that a kite or a helium sniffer dog? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2114 No nude kites. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2115 I used an airhose. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2116 Sir, I said curb your dog. C-U-R-B. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2117 Sir, the dog park is two blocks east. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2118 But sir, my dog enjoys getting high. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2119 Nice hat. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2120 Filling your dog with helium, is considered animal cruelty, regardless of his preference to fly. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2121 Your kite's tail is the best out here. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2122 Sir, we don;t approve of you making mockery of the president that way!! 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2123 This isn’t Dog Day Afternoon. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2124 I thought Retrievers were afraid of heights. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2125 You might want stop feeding your dog so many beans. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2126 The expression is 'When pigs fly', not 'When dogs fly'. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2127 Why not? I thouvgh only pigs can't fly. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2128 Look out! He's about to take his 9:30... 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2129 But the pet shop told me he's an Airedale! 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2130 It's flying kites and dogs. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2131 What else can you train your dog to fetch? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2132 No flying dogs. Really annoys the flying squirrels. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2133 Do you smell updog? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2134 I'll be impressed when it's a pig. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2135 No sir, that was not rain. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2136 And what sort of drugs did the dog take, sir? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2137 No Airedales allowed. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2138 It's actually rabbit season. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2139 Um, sir. I know they say 'whatever flies your kite'... 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2140 It's "if pigs could fly." 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2141 Airedale, Schmairedale, get it down!! 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2142 You're under arrest for feeding cannabis to a dog. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2143 Emotional support animals are not allowed to fly here. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2144 It’s a Trump Baloon... 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2145 Sorry - no balloon animals. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2146 You can fly him here, but you'll have to land in the dog park. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2147 You might have a chance if it was a teddy bear. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2148 Sir, the tail of your kite is not the regulated length. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2149 We don't allow gas operated kites in this park. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2150 If we make an exception for you, we'll have to make it for everyone. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2151 I don’t care if the people at the dog park thought he’d be more comfortable here. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2152 Just be careful he doesn't slip the leash. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2153 Sir, Mr. Wonka would like to have a word. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2154 Sir, it really doesn't matter if his name is Skye... 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2155 Sorry, sir. A kite string isn't the same as a dog leash. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2156 Hey Buddy, Don't try to impress me! You should've seen the pterodactyl that was here last week. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2157 He's half-terrier, half-helium. 1.2019 0.03955 104 83 21 0
2158 A tethered Airedale drone does not qualify as a kite. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2159 It's still No Dogs in this area ... 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2160 Sir, please pick up after your dog. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2161 Good morning, Mr. Romney. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2162 You know we lost Benji that way. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2163 Don't fly him over anyone. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2164 If he exhales, you're toast. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2165 And how, exactly, will you curb your dog? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2166 I understand it has a tail but it's not a kite. 1.2019 0.03955 104 83 21 0
2167 I suppose you have a drone poop bag as well? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2168 Sir, you're gonna have to curb your lighter-than-airedale. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2169 Not just animal control. I can't even count how many FAA regulations you're breaking. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2170 Dog parks are for sissies. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2171 Full moon tonight? 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2172 \ he is too a kite. see his tail." 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2173 Is that a rescue kite? 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2174 What do you mean, “that’s not a kite”? 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2175 You can't fly your dog in here buddy, you know that 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2176 No it does not count as a leash and yes it is going to cost you 35 bucks. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2177 You need to diaper your kite. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2178 Sir I have good news. We found your cat. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2179 He has to stop marking the other kites with his scent. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2180 Well, I guess your dog is technically on a leash. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2181 Kite" is a subjective term, don't you think 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2182 License and registration please. 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
2183 Sorry, guidelines call for a 2-foot tail that curls gently in the wind. 1.2019 0.05182 104 89 9 6
2184 Sir, that is not the proper way to keep your dog on a leash here. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2185 It's OK - he's a Skye Terrier! 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2186 Sorry, but I can't let you have a dog in this flight. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2187 'When dogs fly' is just a distorted expression, sir. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2188 We've had some rather specific complaints from people on the ground. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2189 Sir, I don't know what an "Underdog" is but its scaring the children. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2190 No, this area is for kites, its not a dog run. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2191 Be sure to pick up after your kite, sir. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2192 I'm afraid of kites. 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2193 That's a bit ruff for this park. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2194 Your ‘toxonomic dilemma’ aside, I say if it poops it belongs in the dog park. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2195 The wind howls at Kite Park even without your help, mister. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2196 If that's the case, I'll need to see the emotional support animal documentation. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2197 Yea, she’s an Airedale... 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2198 I advise you to reduce the cannabis snacks. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2199 When you come to the end of your leash, tie a knot and hang on. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
2200 Or maybe just crack the widow when you drive 1.2019 0.04185 104 84 19 1
2201 No more Trump kites -- period. 1.2019 0.04998 104 88 11 5
2202 It's okay officer. I'm flying with a service dog. 1.2019 0.04609 104 86 15 3
2203 Sir, I hope your kite is potty-trained. 1.2000 0.04020 100 80 20 0
2204 And I suppose you’re going to make me clean up after the birds now, too? 1.2000 0.04020 100 80 20 0
2205 I don’t care if your dog’s name is Kite 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2206 Sir, pumping up your dog with helium is a no-no, and yes I know this used to be the Dog Park! 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2207 Technically it is a leash, yes, But some picnickers downwind are complaining, sir. 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2208 Rainapoo? Is that a new breed? 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
2209 Almost perfect - it just needs a longer tail. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2210 Hey buddy, just want you to know my I bet my hairy ass that thing wouldn't fly. Thanks a lot! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2211 Well, he's pretty gassy. Are you sure you want me to bring him down? 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2212 You'll have to leave the park sir. We've received a stalking complaint from a Miss Red Riding Hood in Apt. 5B. 1.2000 0.04954 105 89 11 5
2213 I don't care how high he is, you're a terrible man. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2214 Sir,you must keep your dog on a 6 foot leash 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
2215 Do me a favor and fly him over the receptacle, 'kay? 1.2000 0.04264 100 81 18 1
2216 You know helium will make his bark high-pitched, right? 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
2217 What did you expect? He is an Airedale. 1.2000 0.04020 100 80 20 0
2218 Nice try, pal. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2219 Well then, I guess you're going to have to LEARN how to clean up after your kite, sir. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2220 It's okay, just keep him on the leash. 1.1981 0.03890 106 85 21 0
2221 I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network 1.1981 0.03890 106 85 21 0
2222 Don't forget to clean up after him. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2223 AKC does NOT stand for American Kite Competition. 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
2224 No one else's kite seems to leave droppings. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2225 I'd like to talk to you about our new Kite-9 initiative 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2226 No, and you can't let your kite run around on the grass in the dog park, either. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2227 I don't care if he's an airedale, he's still a dog and dogs aren't allowed in the park. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2228 At least he doesn’t think he’s a yo-yo anymore. That was a lot of cleanup. 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2229 I don't care if you are looking for your car - you're only allowed a six-foot leash, max! 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
2230 So I'm guessing he got into your medical marijuana. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
2231 Best damn fetching I've ever seen! 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2232 Sir, a kite string does not count as a leash. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2233 Dogs should never eat at Taco Bell. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2234 Kites or pigs. No dogs. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2235 in Russian that's : летающая крыса собака letayushchaya krysa sobaka 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2236 Take your dog to the designated flying area. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2237 It wasn't easy filling him with helium 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2238 A hat was a great call today. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2239 Yeah, he liked chasing birds. So I figured what the heck. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2240 You better believe you still gotta clean up after him. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2241 No, he's fine as long as the wind is howling. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2242 I don't care if it's name is Franklin, Teddy, or Eleanor. No dogs in the park means no dogs. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2243 Just as I thought, he doesn't have an ounce of herding instinct. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2244 The Airedale park is on the other side of town 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2245 SORRY SIR: NO ANIMALS ALLOWED 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2246 I know! And they told me he was an old dog when I got him. 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2247 Your kite just pooped on me. 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2248 Listen, buddy, you better have taken him first to the 'Dog Walk.' 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2249 Look pal, I don’t WRITE the bylaws. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2250 A taxidermy coyote filled with helium is not a kite. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2251 You try saying no to those puppy dog eyes 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2252 Try a grain-free diet. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2253 I don’t care how fast it can flap its legs, it still can’t fly here. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2254 Was the dog park full? 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2255 She’s a rescue — we’re working up to the dog park. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2256 More fake Gnus 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2257 I understand the dog park is full, sir, but you'll have to bring him down now. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2258 You got a license for that kite ? 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2259 So the squirrel kite people just approached me....again. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2260 I think you may have the wrong park, sir. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2261 Sir, the doggie play area you were looking for - our BITE park - is just down the road. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2262 Sir, this is not the dog park. Your Airdale is not permitted to chase tail or make it rain on the other parkgoers. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2263 Not enough gas to fill up the Trump baby? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2264 Sir, you can't be in here without a kite. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2265 Is that your asphalt roller parked out front? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2266 Where's your plastic bag? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2267 No ball playing. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2268 He'll only be up there for a minute. He really hates to lose a tennis ball. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2269 The deplorables are saluting, sir! 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2270 First, What is it? and Second, Why?? 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2271 Is it an Airdale? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2272 Your kite bit me. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2273 I don’t care if you call that a leash, this still is not a dog park. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2274 Sir, if that's not an airedale, you've got some explaining to do. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2275 If I let you wear a cap, then everyone will want to wear a cap. 1.1961 0.05221 102 88 8 6
2276 What do you mean he tried to convert to Pigeon? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2277 I DON'T CARE IF IT IS THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER, THAT IS ONE WEIRD KITE. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2278 Sorry Officer, I thought that this was the dog park. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2279 That better be an Airedale terrier or you're looking at a $200 fine. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2280 Did you miss the memo? This is an undercover operation. Walk away rookie. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2281 I bet you think you're funny. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2282 Sir, that dog needs to come with me, he's high as a kite! 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2283 Are you prepared to clean up after your kite? 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2284 Yes, I see he's on a leash but dogs are still not allowed in the park. 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2285 Well, as usual, everything's up in the air. 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2286 Seriously?! 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2287 PETA be damned! 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2288 You're lucky the leash law is vague, sir. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2289 When pigs fly, sir. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2290 Why don't you go fly a kite? 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2291 You're making the other dogs insecure. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2292 Good thing you didn’t dock the tail. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2293 "Please make sure you keep your dog on-leash; last week we had a Shih Tzu end up in Albany " 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2294 I don't care if he is a Chinook. The dog park is on 20th. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2295 But it's on a leash, what's your problem? 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2296 Cloud-broken, eh? 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2297 Sorry, this is a State Park. No dogs allowed. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2298 I'm afraid my reading of the leash law is not that open minded. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2299 I would suggest a lighter dog. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2300 Holy Cow”, if she drops any meadow muffins, your responsible 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2301 Sorry, but you need a permit to let your freak flag fly. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2302 Please tell me your kite is housebroken. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2303 Just don’t make him fetch anything. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2304 Sir, You need a Permit to fly That. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2305 I don't like the way he's raising his right rear leg. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2306 Wow -- that takes loyalty at a whole new level. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2307 How far is Canada ? 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2308 You know it's not a kite, right? 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2309 I bet you've still never seen an elephant fly. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2310 Filling your dog with helium does not make him a kite. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2311 You have to clean up after your kite 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2312 Doggone it, Bill! I thought we talked about this. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2313 Tags and collar required. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2314 Yes sir, but you still need to pick up after him. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2315 This is a park for kites, not flying dogs, but if he takes a dump on the Trump hotel over there you’re good. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2316 Akita is not a kite. 1.1961 0.03951 102 82 20 0
2317 Sir, you know the park rules. You have to provide umbrellas. 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2318 I think you were supposed to take it seriously but not literally. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2319 You do realize that there is a dog park right down the street. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2320 As long as he eases up on the other tails it’s all good. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2321 Sorry sir, underdogs are not allowed in this park! 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2322 Well, after he was hit by a car, he died in his dog house. A few days later he bloated up and started floating around in there. I decided to take him for our weekly walk to the park, and here we are. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2323 I was surprised too 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
2324 Die Fledermaus nicht gewart 1.1961 0.04189 102 83 18 1
2325 He had lots of wind today 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2326 Without the leash, he’d be chasing flying squirrels. 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
2327 And how do you propose cleaning up after him? 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2328 Sir, the flying rat park is down the street. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2329 It's more of a hygiene hazard... 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
2330 US citizen? And where was your dog born? 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
2331 Sir, helium filled pet day is tomorrow. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2332 All leash laws apply plus dry cleaning expense for overhead soiling. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2333 If you think this exempts you from curbing your dog, you are sadly mistaken. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2334 Is your dog's license current? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2335 Sir, please make sure you clean up after your kite 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2336 Fine, call PETA, but he's a bird dog and he loves it... 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2337 I'm sorry sir, dogs are not allowed in this park. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2338 Dog days ended last week, sir. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2339 Is this for your Youtube channel or something? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2340 Thank you for keeping your dog on a leash sir. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2341 It's your doody to scoop the poop. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2342 His mother was a zeppelin retriever. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2343 The S.P.C.A. would like you to take it down." 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2344 I don't care if his name is "Roosevelt:" if you gonna fly him, he's gonna need a diaper. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2345 Sir, I just need to see your permit 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2346 No blimps allowed 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2347 This isn't London you know! 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2348 He gets a little gassy sometimes and this is the best solution. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2349 The hardest part was getting him to swallow the helium. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2350 I realize he's not "technically" in the park, but I'll still need to see his license 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2351 I need to see your license and registration please 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2352 I told you before no dogs in the park, that goes even if the balloon man did help you out. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2353 No service dogs allowed. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2354 You're still responsible for cleaning up after your dog, including any collateral damage. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2355 Is he a registered Skye Terrier? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2356 Does he retrieve runaway kites? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2357 Do you have a license for that Airedale? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2358 I know there is no "Curb Your Kite" sign but people are complaining. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2359 Whatever floats your goat. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2360 Not FDR, Teddy. And that isn't a kite either. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2361 I don't care if he's on his leash. No dogs allowed in this park. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2362 As long as it keeps flying I won't cite you for illegal dog walking. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2363 Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to fly your dog elsewhere. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2364 Yes, I know what an Airedale is. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2365 Stay away from the trees. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2366 I'm sick and tired of people acting like their pets are above the law" 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2367 Sir, I just think it's somewhat morbid. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2368 sorry sir, but airdales are to be in the dog park. 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
2369 Always kick a dog when it's up. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2370 Unfortunately, this will make it a lot more complicated to clean up after him 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2371 Not a dog, it’s a fox. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2372 When the boss tells you to go fly a kite, you don't need to take it literally. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2373 Helium filled animals are against the rules." 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2374 next time bring a pooper-scooper. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2375 I'm sure he IS friendly sir but that's not really the issue 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2376 Just be careful, now. That dog gas is powerful stuff. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2377 Can I see your dog flying license? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2378 Hello. Sorry to bother you but we have a leashed dog policy and, well, we’re not sure this qualifies. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2379 What? His name is Kite. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2380 Sorry Officer, how do you expect me to curb him? 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2381 I'm sorry, sir, but dog's must be on a leash. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2382 You gonna clean up after your kite? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2383 There's always one person who just has to fly their dog. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2384 Next time, skip the baked beans. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2385 I'm sorry, this isn't a dog friendly park. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2386 He's always thought of himself as a bird not a dog 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2387 I thought you were the one that was full of hot air! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2388 So, he got into your medical marijuana! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2389 Dog's gotta hunt 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2390 No Frisbees, sir. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2391 I don't care how rare Scottish Birdoodles are, you still need a permit. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2392 That's quite s trick you've taught your Airdale? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2393 Sir, you might feel more comfortable if you took him to the dog park. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2394 Yes sir, the park will in fact be renamed “Trump Kite Park,” but the official renaming will take place after the new drill sites are all open and operational. Thanks for using your Parks pass and enjoy your day. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2395 Technologically he is on a leash. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2396 'that thing poops on anybody, you're toast" 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2397 You failed to pick up after your kite. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2398 Pigs can fly here but dogs are strictly forbidden. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2399 Sir, you’ll have to curb your dog. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2400 We tried to go to the dog park. Some bitch kept barking at us. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2401 And I assume he's had an airborne flu shot? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2402 I had it custom made. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2403 That's fine, sir, but you'll still need to clean up after him. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2404 Excuse me, sir, but your kite just peed on me 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2405 Do you have a permit for that? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2406 That doesn’t qualify as a leash. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2407 Your dog is required to be on a secure leash. String doesn't count. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2408 You can't hunt flying squirrels here. That's the park over. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2409 Chinese fighting kites don’t include shar-peis, sir. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2410 So he was acting high as a kite? That won't cut it, sir. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2411 ‘I’m sorry sir, but you’re either going to have to take your hawkapoo to the dog park or to the bird sanctuary.’ 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2412 Where is BABY TRUMP??? 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2413 Sir, please curb your dog before you fly him! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2414 You realize your dog doesn't have nine lives. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2415 It's my feeling that dog people and kite people should be able to get along. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2416 People were staring at the dog park, too 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2417 I thought the sign meant no dogs allowed on the ground. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2418 Sorry, Sir, no dogs allowed over the park ! 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2419 I've just been struck with a great name for a Brewery." 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2420 Really? The FAA and SPCA have a joint task force? 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2421 Have you considered his feelings about flying? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2422 Sir, I'm sorry, but he's going to need a longer tail. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2423 “The rules are clear; all animals must be on a leash in the park. That is not a leash.” 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2424 Did you bring a Baggie with you? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2425 Regardless, you still have to pick up after him. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2426 I'm calling it in, we've got a K9 on cloud 9. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2427 Unless your dog has been potty-trained, you can't fly it here." 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2428 Sure, bird dogs are fun until you've got to scoop the poop off of somebody's head. 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
2429 You can only fly that in the Wall Street kite park. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2430 Can you read THAT sign? 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2431 But officer, I AM keeping him on a leash! 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2432 Sir, I don’t think this is protected by the first amendment 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2433 I'm sorry sir, but no kiteyotes are permitted in this park. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2434 I’m not sure I’d call that ‘wagging,’ sir, 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2435 I thought I’d float the idea of giant rats for pets. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2436 Woah, dude, nice. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2437 Sir... Did you pre-poop your dog? 1.1919 0.05310 99 86 7 6
2438 Eleanor says Dog Days are over. We have a New Deal. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2439 Sorry officer, this is the closest we get to a walk after he got into the Catnip 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2440 The taxidermist said it would be okay 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2441 July’s contest for the highest dogs is actually at Coney Island. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2442 I don't care that he's named Ben Franklin. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2443 If that kite lifts its leg ... 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2444 A tail does not make a kite." 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2445 Please curb your kite. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2446 I am a little concerned about fallout. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2447 ...my dog’s name is “Kite,” so... 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2448 Just make sure you keep your pooper scooper with you at all times. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2449 Okay buddy, Letterman wants his helium tank back. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2450 Dog kites are required to have a tail two/thirds the length of the animal’s body. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2451 As impressive as that is, it's technically still a dog and not allowed. 1.1919 0.03978 99 80 19 0
2452 In your case, Sir, the sky's the limit and you've already exceeded it! 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2453 Sir, there are no pets allowed 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2454 Fines for airborne dog poop are double. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2455 Your kite will have to submit to a breathalyzer. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2456 People are complaining. Put a diaper on him. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2457 Will it still soar if it farts? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2458 I'm sorry, but your dog needs to be on a leash. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2459 Oh, he just counter surfed the baked beans again. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2460 As long as you catch it before it hits soneone! 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2461 Obedience training is at Washington Park today. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2462 Is your Airedale registered? 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2463 It’s great at retrieving, I don’t even have to shoot a bird. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2464 Did you see the "You must pick up after your pet" sign? 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2465 I'm the Kite Park Theme Officer. Animal themes are scheduled for tomorrow. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2466 That's some leash. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2467 Sir, the canister of helium must be recycled. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2468 I don't care what you say your dog ate. This is not a dog park. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2469 We were just going for a run, but didn't anticipate the excellent wind conditions 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2470 Nice try Timmy 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2471 Sorry, sir. Cats only. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2472 I’m from the ASPCA, and I need to speak to you. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2473 Is that one of those heliodoodles? My wife's been wanting one but we're concerned about the high ceilings. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2474 Still, it's not a leash. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2475 Those new helium dog biscuits, eh? 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2476 We enjoy variety here, mister, but we draw the line at roadkill designs. 1.1919 0.04691 99 83 13 3
2477 You can't fly a bloated dog here until after 5 PM 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2478 I'm sorry, Sir. We couldn't find the ball. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2479 Is it the helium that causes that weird bark? 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2480 Sir, we have a strict no Airedale policy. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2481 We don’t allow droppings in this park ya know... 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2482 Sir, you really need to curb your dog. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2483 Technically, he's still in the park. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2484 Sir this is the Right hand Kite Park. The Left hand Kite Park is over the hill. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
2485 OK buddy,what's your tale 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2486 Sir, a kite string is not a leash. 1.1919 0.04229 99 81 17 1
2487 I'm surprised he doesn't have more volatile instability with such a short tail. 1.1919 0.05112 99 85 9 5
2488 Next time, you might want to bring an umbrella. 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
2489 Ah, he was always full of hot air. 1.1905 0.04081 105 86 18 1
2490 You still have to pick up after your pet, sir. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2491 I'm from the ASPCA and I don't care how happy he looks. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2492 It doesn't matter, his leash still can't be more than 6 feet. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2493 Sir, please be sure to clean up after your dog. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2494 FDR had Fala, so what? 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2495 Is that an Up-In-The-Airedale Terrier? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2496 Doggie diapers are required. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2497 It can't be a boxer with a tail like that. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2498 Is your name Clark Griswold? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2499 Last warning. Tell him, 'Down boy, down.' 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2500 The dog kite park is on Jefferson Street 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2501 Excuse me, sir. About your dog being high as a kite... 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2502 I believe what you were thinking of was “pigs” 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2503 Sorry pal, read the rules — no taxidermists at DIY Kite Day. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2504 You’re going to have to take it down. Only pigs fly here. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2505 You can't feed the animals, you can't touch the animals, and you certainly can't fly them around in a kite park. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2506 Whatever it is, just make sure you clean up after it. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2507 Sir, I’ve seen Fala and that is no Fala. (So please dont fala us here again) 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2508 Yes, but he is still on a leash. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2509 Why are you so determined to make it rain kites and dogs? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2510 He used to work for the DEA.” 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2511 You caught me. It a Samoyed kite, and I’m passing signals to my Russian comrades across the river at the UN. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2512 Are there beans in your brand of dogfood? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2513 What do you mean you're just flying the dog? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2514 Helium dogs must be kept on a leash. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2515 When they're on a leash, they're allowed to walk on the ground. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2516 If that were an elephant, you'd be out of here! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2517 You actually want me to believe rain drops can be yellow? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2518 Do you have a doggie bag? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2519 You'll have to bring him down, if he's not house-trained. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2520 I don't care if he's descended from Fala. No dogs allowed in the park. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2521 I just need to make sure neither of you is higher than a kite. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2522 I don't care if his name is Fala. No dogs allowed 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2523 Officer, I granted his wish to be higher than a kite. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2524 You're scaring the kids 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2525 Legalized pot has her high as a kite. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2526 Excuse me, sir, but the Salvador Dogí Park is down the street. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2527 I don’t care if he’s enjoying himself sir, it’s still no dogs in park. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2528 I’m sorry, sir. Your leash exceeds the ten feet limit. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2529 Dog flying is only allowed over in Sheep Meadow. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2530 Your animal is supposed to be on a leash and that little string doesn't count. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2531 His tail light is out? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2532 Sir, I don't care if he likes it. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2533 Too cheap to buy a kite? 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2534 A dirigi-bulldog? Nice try. You'll need to float him over to the dog park. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2535 What's the problem, Officer? He's training to be lunar Rover" -Peter and Eliza Lewine, New Orleans, L 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2536 We've had reports of a kite urinating on other kites. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2537 You'll need a long handled pooper scooper to fly that here. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2538 Still swallowing balloons, eh? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2539 Gotcha, if he’s Under Dog where’s his cape? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2540 I know you got asked to leave the dog park because of his bad gas, but you can't be here either. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2541 It’s tie me kangaroo down, mate. Not up. 1.1900 0.05260 100 87 7 6
2542 Sir, no flying dogs past 9am in the park. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2543 Changed dog food brands again? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2544 Officer, I swear - I'm clean,it's my dog that's high as a kite. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2545 You do know that being “high as a kite” is not the same thing as being a kite, right? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2546 If your weren’t my brother, I’d report you to P.E.T. A.. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2547 City Ordinance #3647 specifies that dogs must be restrained by handheld leashes no longer than eight feet in length. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2548 Nice try, but leash laws are leash laws 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2549 I need to ask you a few things about your visit to the park zoo. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2550 Just remember to pick up after your kite, sir. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2551 Wait here while we write an ordinance. 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2552 You have to pick up after your kite. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2553 Sir, you’ll need a muzzle to fly him here .. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2554 Tell him nice try, but we know he knocked over the ice cream cart 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2555 Sir, you still need a poop bag. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2556 We do allow pigs, 'cause I mean who doesn't want to see pigs fly, but dogs, that is a big no no in these parts, Mister. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2557 Sir, could you please curb your dog? 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2558 Mine's afraid of the car. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2559 A helium filled wolf does NOT qualify for this kite fight! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2560 Filling your dog with helium again, Wilbur? 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2561 Just so you know, it's okay to let him off the leash. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2562 I guess pigs are not the only ones that fly 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2563 That doesn't excuse you from the leash law, sir. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2564 I'm sorry, sir, that's inappropriate. Let her go. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2565 Anything can fly if you fill it with enough helium 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2566 Have you heard? INFLATABLE SQUIRREL CARCASS is playing the bandshell. Bet your kite would enjoy it. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2567 Dog flights are illegal in this state. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2568 Sir, this is a kite competition and not a dog show. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2569 I have to issue a summons for not cleaning up after your kite. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2570 I don't give a rat's ass what the sign back there says 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2571 Excuse me, but the dog park is down the road a quarter mile. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2572 Listen buddy, I'm not going to tell you again. This is not the dog park. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2573 I told my grandson before the election, Trump will be president when dogs fly. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2574 Sir, no dogs are allowed in the kite park--not even bird dogs. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2575 He confuses “cats” for “kites.” We’re seeing a specialist. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2576 NASA called and said, they want their dog back. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2577 No, I said I'd believe it when pigs fly. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2578 He may look like a dog, but inside he feels like a bird. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2579 The FAA wants to know if he's friendly. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2580 As a member of PETA, I'm object to this conduct. But as a member of law enforcement, I can't do anything about it because your animal is technically leashed. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2581 Sir, we have a 'No Dogs Allowed" policy. But may I say, yours was a damn good try! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2582 Whaddaya mean, he's a rescue? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2583 Flying dogs must be equipped with diapers. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2584 Sorry sir, helium-filled pets are not allowed. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2585 You realize there is no peeing in flight. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2586 They want you to put of diaper on your birddog or fly him elsewhere. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2587 No, sir. Not even Airedales! 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2588 I presume he took care of business before he went up? 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2589 You're making the others nervous. Does your dog bite? 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2590 The dog park is over the hill. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2591 There are several windshields in the parking lot which you'll need to clean. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2592 He hates car rides. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2593 Falas are only allowed off leash sir. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2594 As long as he's on a leash, I don't really have a problem with it. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2595 Sorry Benjamin, Franklin can't fly here. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2596 No, Twitter Man, Master of Confrontational Pedantry, I don’t see how the ‘imprecise’ wording and logic of our ‘no flying dogs in the kite park’ policy could be used by a liberal government to invoke Sharia law. Please leave. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2597 I don't care, you still have to pick up after him. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2598 I don't care what your problem is.. we simply don't allow therapy kites in our park ! 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2599 Whata ya mean he just got away? 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2600 "We have an FDR at this park, sir: Flying Dog Restriction." 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2601 I will have you know that this he was assigned to the U.S. Army Airborne Division before being decommisioned. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2602 I need to see your pilot's license before you can fly your pet. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2603 This must be the "updog" everyone's talking about. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2604 Yes, pooper scooper laws still apply. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2605 I never heard of a dog having gas problems before. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2606 Sir, I understand the dog park is overcrowded, but I hope for your sake you brought an umbrella. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2607 my dog just chases cars 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2608 Nope. There are no Airedale waivers. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2609 Sorry, no dogs allowed in the park. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2610 His bark is worse as a kite. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2611 He's barking up the wrong tree. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2612 As long as his 'business' goes up too, we're cool. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2613 We have a dog run down the way if she’d like a chance to be off the leash... 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2614 I'm sorry, no pets in the park, sir. 1.1900 0.04191 100 82 17 1
2615 I figured this was safer than letting him fly commercial. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2616 Okay, as long as he stays on the leash. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2617 Man, that's messed up, you need to stop. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2618 Exuse me sir, but all forms of duck hunting are prohibited here. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2619 Sir, kites are not allowed to bark in this park. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2620 Sorry, your tail doesn't meet specifications. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2621 I knew I would find you here...I give up being your milkman...once again no bottles left on your step! 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2622 Walking or flying it doesn’t matter you still have to pick up the poop!! 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2623 The dog park is two blocks west. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2624 He's just like a bumble bee. I didn't tell him he could fly, so he did. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2625 You hear that high-pitched barking? When it turns into a deep growl, watch out below. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2626 Yes, it is leashed, but... 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2627 Why? Because everyone will be upset if he has to relieve himself! 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2628 He got into my stash Sir!! 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2629 Sir, while you are not technically "walking" your dog, you still need to clean-up after him. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2630 Kite license, please. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2631 That’s a fine “up”, sir, now try “heel.” 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2632 OK, they all have tails. But what about the barking and leg-flapping? 1.1900 0.03943 100 81 19 0
2633 No, I'm afraid kites don't count as big sticks, sir. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2634 What's below the tail is causing the complaint. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
2635 It's only illegal depending on which hole you used to blow it up. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
2636 I'm sorry...a doggie bag is not enough. I'll need to see an umbrella as well! 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2637 I promised that after I packed his bags, pre-flight, zero hour, 9 a.m., that he'd be high as a kite by then. 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
2638 The dog park was closed. 1.1900 0.04648 100 84 13 3
2639 Sir, it's still no dogs allowed, even if they're on a leash. 1.1895 0.04042 95 77 18 0
2640 No tail? 1.1895 0.04042 95 77 18 0
2641 All dogs use the dog park—even Superman’s. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2642 Sorry, today it's vegetables or minerals only. 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2643 What's your problem, pal? At least half The New Yorker readers know what I'm about to tell you. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2644 YOU KNOW SIR, YOU'RE STILL GOING TO HAVE TO PICK UP THE POOP 1.1895 0.04310 95 78 16 1
2645 This is no place for a psycho, sir. 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
2646 Last summer, I had a pig, but it did the most amazing thing. Not taking any chances this year. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2647 Sorry sir, Saturday is bird dog day. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2648 Don’t arrest me, he’s half flying squirrel! 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2649 Just a reminder. Unlike the other kite flyers, you're still required to carry a scooper. 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
2650 Hey Bub! Dogs must be on a six-foot leash. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2651 Okay, your dog can stay, but you need to clean up after him. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2652 All this time I thought a bird dog was something completely different. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2653 I’m sorry sir, you’ll need to take that to the dog park. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2654 Just because your emotional support dog flies with you everywhere, doesn't make him a kite. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2655 “ We’ll let it go this time. Just keep him on a long leash, and pick up after him.” 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
2656 I'm sorry sir but you can't fly your dog here. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2657 his name may be Kite but you still have to take him to the dog park 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2658 I don't know if you noticed, sir...but there's something strange about your kite's tail 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2659 Please tell me you are not flying that thing with a break-away collar. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2660 I don’t care if he just pooped. He has to come down. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2661 I say it's a dog, and this isn't a dog park! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2662 The no dogs rule extends up fifty feet. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2663 I don't care if he's on a lease and his name is Fala - no dogs allowed. 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2664 I know my kites, officer 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2665 I assume that's a licensed therapy dog? 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2666 Look, I'm not going to argue about this anymore. You have to take him to a dog park. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2667 Sir, your kite needs approval from the ASPCA 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
2668 I don't care if it's what Teddy would have wanted, rules are rules! 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2669 Have you seen my helium tank? 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2670 The signs clearly state "leash". 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2671 Leash not to exceed 12 feet in length, sir. 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
2672 Sir, it may be the dog days of summer but you can’t be here. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2673 We fly kites here, not inflated dogs. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2674 Dogs must be on a 6 ft leash. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2675 He may very well "put the air in Airedale", sir, nevertheless I'll still need to see his license. 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
2676 I understand sir, but you still need to pick up after it. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2677 We've been getting some very angry complaints about droppings. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2678 We got complaints about your kid walking a kite at the dog park. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2679 The tail won't fool me! 1.1881 0.03908 101 82 19 0
2680 Sir, you gotta climb on up there and bring him down. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2681 You will still have to clean up after him, sir. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2682 Harry, you may be a Roosevelt, but that still doesn’t make your dog a kite” 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2683 To get him back try saying 'Heel, Liam'. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2684 Officer, the former owner was a yoga master. This seems to be the transition from downward facing dog to upward facing dog. . 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2685 Let me guess,ever since winning Best In Show,he has been high as a kite? 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2686 Allegations, that's all they were. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2687 Kite Runner. Eh? 1.1881 0.05017 101 87 9 5
2688 We’ve had some complaints about you not picking up after your dog. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2689 Sir, flying your dog is strictly prohibited in this section of the park. You want to go just past the trees there. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2690 The Hoover dog park sucks. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2691 Don't tell me - he's a seeing-eye dog and you're just looking. 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
2692 Please curb your dog. 1.1881 0.04154 101 83 17 1
2693 Is that an Air-a-dale Retriever? 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
2694 Roosevelt hated dogs! 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
2695 No Officer, it wasn’t difficult at all! 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
2696 I don't care if it's an emotional support animal, it needs to come down. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
2697 I said take a hike, not fly a kite. 1.1863 0.04564 102 86 13 3
2698 Of course it's legit. It's the president's 'transitional object.' 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
2699 Sir, dog day afternoon is in August. 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
2700 Has a gas problem, right? 1.1863 0.04772 102 87 11 4
2701 Sir, it doesn't matter if your dog's name is Roosevelt. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
2702 We have a strict catch and release policy in this park. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
2703 Sir, you'll have to go. I've had complaints about a sh#tstorm. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
2704 Park rules require you to curb your dog. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
2705 Well in that case, you'll just have to carry a catcher's mitt, won't you? 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
2706 An Airedale? Is this some kind of joke to you? 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
2707 I'm reenacting one of Benjamin Franklin's lesser known experiments. 1.1856 0.05146 97 84 8 5
2708 Sure it checks all the boxes, but I am afraid that I just stepped in the one box that says it’s not a kite. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
2709 It's okay, it's my comfort animal. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2710 Sorry, only when pigs fly. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2711 It has to be neutered or spayed. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2712 Sir, leashes are to be a maximum of six feet long. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2713 I'll alow it, but this won't fly at the skate park. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2714 Sir, you’ll need to show off your old dog’s new tricks at the K-9 Kite Park. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
2715 No, my dog is too afraid of heights to even try it. 1.1837 0.04666 98 83 12 3
2716 We’ve had complaints that your kite is a real dog”. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2717 I see that he's on a leash. But he ain't no kite. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
2718 His name is Hiasakite. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2719 Which one is Roosevelt? 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2720 If you decide to walk your kite in the dog park, you’ll need a license for that! 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2721 Your tail is too short 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2722 Guess he thinks he is an Airedale? 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2723 This area is off-leash only 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2724 You'll need to fly a poop bag 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2725 If you let it go, I’ll let you go. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2726 Cute, yes. But does he have a license? 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2727 What up, dog? Outside of your dog, that is... 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2728 I'm sorry, sir, but dog leashes cannot be longer than six feet. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2729 Yes, Officer, Happy insisted we make a statement on the final vote. 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
2730 Just make sure he stays on leash. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2731 If your kite poops your required to catch it before it hits the ground. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2732 Frank. The new deal is over. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2733 Perhaps a different food wouldn't leave him so bloated? 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
2734 My taxidermist uses helium. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2735 Amazing, yes, but you still need to pick up after him! 1.1809 0.05231 94 82 7 5
2736 What did your taxidermist use? 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
2737 I assume that’s an Airedale. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
2738 I’m an enforcement officer with the ASPCA; you’re under arrest. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
2739 Was that you singing "They Can't Take That Away from Me"? 1.1809 0.04774