Contest #620


Cartoon

620

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Most of them have candy. This one's filled with nuts.”
  2. “Are you sure the boss is cool with this? It took him six days to make.”
  3. When he hits, yell 'big bang'!


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-06-17T18:36:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-07-01T19:09:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-06-25T18:36:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 2nd, 2018
Number of captions 4974
Number of responses 836027
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It's not the end of the world if he misses. 2.0308 0.00736 9697 2403 4592 2702
1 Most of them have candy, this ones filled with nuts. 2.0270 0.00817 9690 3006 3416 3268
2 Are you sure the boss is cool with this? It took him six days to make. 2.0232 0.00856 8278 2416 3254 2608
3 The best part? Not a single religion predicted this one. 1.9775 0.00875 8705 3003 2895 2807
4 Somehow I always imagined Judgement Day would come with a little more gravitas. 1.9728 0.00895 7695 2476 2952 2267
5 But what is the string attached to? 1.9715 0.00916 7825 2683 2682 2460
6 These young guys have it easy. It was much harder back when it was flat 1.9650 0.00861 8622 2912 3100 2610
7 Lower it a bit, Mar-a-Lago's just coming back around. 1.9601 0.00906 8341 3027 2620 2694
8 It's been 4 billion years. Just hit it already! 1.9476 0.01003 6334 2192 2282 1860
9 And to think they're worried about global warming 1.9441 0.00901 7437 2462 2929 2046
10 It was a biblical typo. It's really called the "Rupture." 1.9420 0.00906 8137 2964 2681 2492
11 Blind Fate gets two more chances. Then it's Dumb Luck's turn. 1.9157 0.00900 7715 2765 2835 2115
12 The last time he connected, it killed off the dinosaurs. 1.9021 0.00915 7036 2449 2827 1760
13 Every time Trump tweets, an angel gets its swings. 1.9007 0.01318 4099 1683 1140 1276
14 After this, let's pin the tail on Uranus. 1.8881 0.00995 6853 2749 2122 1982
15 If he hits it he's in for a big surprise. I understand it's two-thirds water. 1.8867 0.00904 7174 2553 2881 1740
16 This is taking an eternity. 1.8657 0.00983 6231 2349 2370 1512
17 It's the Big Bang, minus the theory." 1.8478 0.01089 5262 2102 1859 1301
18 It's ok. Most of the damage has already been done. 1.8058 0.02105 1313 534 500 279
19 America First. 1.7786 0.01319 4006 1938 1017 1051
20 I don't want to wait in line. Let's do the Saturn ring toss. 1.7561 0.01130 4419 1917 1663 839
21 At this rate, mankind will beat us to it. 1.7549 0.01104 4847 2171 1693 983
22 Jesus, Haley's comet gets closer than that. 1.7507 0.01085 4889 2168 1772 949
23 He should be pretty good at this. He used to play for the Angels. 1.7432 0.01045 5202 2317 1904 981
24 Do you think Trump will blame this on Obama too? 1.7249 0.01341 3533 1741 1023 769
25 Hark! The Hearld Angel Swings! 1.7198 0.01249 3830 1830 1243 757
26 If we all miss, then the Meek get it, as is. 1.7142 0.01309 3272 1518 1171 583
27 And to think they’re worried about climate change. 1.6991 0.01402 2702 1246 1023 433
28 God doesn’t play dice. But man, he loves the piñata. 1.6954 0.01201 4032 1973 1314 745
29 I always get a laugh when I hear their Teutonic plate movements explanation. 1.6877 0.01183 4179 2079 1326 774
30 Well, it was already hanging by a string. 1.6726 0.01288 3244 1578 1150 516
31 Hark, the herald angels swing. 1.6721 0.01124 4605 2342 1431 832
32 Usually it just causes a minor flood or earthquake, but one time we did wipe out the dinosaurs. 1.6675 0.01076 4550 2207 1649 694
33 He died before he could finish the job at EPA. 1.6607 0.02164 1276 671 367 238
34 They probably think there’s a scientific reason for all this. 1.6439 0.01652 1960 997 664 299
35 I hope it’s tied on tightly. Last time he knocked Pluto out of the solar system. 1.6364 0.02074 1312 695 399 218
36 I heard it's not filled with candy, it's filled with nuts. 1.6045 0.02381 1014 571 273 170
37 This guy couldn't hit Jupiter 1.5958 0.01415 2640 1447 813 380
38 Don't get your hopes up. He hasn't connected since the dinosaurs. 1.5955 0.02184 1031 546 356 129
39 I hear it's full of plastic crap made in China. 1.5933 0.01496 2395 1327 715 353
40 Today's Tuesday, November 8, 2016. Why do you ask? 1.5892 0.01949 1497 859 394 244
41 No one ever thinks it's going to end this way. 1.5775 0.02497 819 455 255 109
42 And on the 8th day, we partied. 1.5737 0.02153 1126 636 334 156
43 Little known fact: Every time Donald Trump tweets, an angel gets its swings." 1.5664 0.01757 1868 1119 440 309
44 Admit it: This totally beats dancing on the head of a pin. 1.5641 0.01795 1661 964 457 240
45 That's how we make wind. Wait until you see how rain happens. 1.5533 0.02119 1164 680 324 160
46 Getting warmer. 1.5456 0.01853 1490 873 421 196
47 The last time he connected all the dinosaurs died. 1.5451 0.01566 2007 1158 604 245
48 If he actually hits it, we’re going to see a lot of new faces around here. 1.5428 0.01640 1835 1064 546 225
49 Wait! Wait! He's been impeached! 1.5395 0.02346 1001 612 238 151
50 Some of them thought it would end with a whimper. 1.5383 0.01749 1607 937 475 195
51 I thought we were going to wait, and give the mid-terms a chance. 1.5348 0.01926 1395 836 372 187
52 Here comes another Big Bang. 1.5340 0.01669 1811 1075 505 231
53 We thought we would combine Armageddon with a festive event. 1.5322 0.01685 1721 1011 504 206
54 Swing and a miss. The Angels are down to their last strike. 1.5231 0.01814 1514 910 416 188
55 Don't you think they've had enough this year? 1.5221 0.01820 1450 860 423 167
56 And to think they’re scared of climate change. 1.5175 0.01856 1401 839 399 163
57 If I knew he batted left I would have put the White House on the other side. 1.5165 0.01894 1425 875 364 186
58 You know, I'm not sure Pruitt should be up here. 1.5161 0.03443 436 269 109 58
59 And on the eighth day... 1.5133 0.01943 1282 774 358 150
60 Not so omniscient with the blindfold on, is He? 1.5131 0.01943 1257 753 363 141
61 We're going to call it "The Big Bang". 1.5079 0.02011 1262 785 313 164
62 In a minute all hell will break loose. 1.5075 0.02169 1003 605 287 111
63 It's the end of times, we might as well have some fun. 1.5043 0.02023 1168 712 323 133
64 It was either this or pin the tail on Uranus. 1.5031 0.02151 1115 702 265 148
65 Had I known that this is what passed for entertainment up here, I probably would have cheated on my spouse. 1.5030 0.02426 839 519 218 102
66 He won't hit it. This is all just to scare the Baptists. 1.5000 0.02081 1102 676 301 125
67 They think earthquakes are caused by fracking. 1.4973 0.03450 370 221 114 35
68 If he smashes that thing, all hell will break loose. 1.4965 0.04231 288 183 67 38
69 It's okay. It's empty now - used to be filled with hopes and dreams. 1.4965 0.02212 1007 629 256 122
70 He trained at the Environmental Protection Agency. 1.4961 0.02281 1018 655 221 142
71 I'm no theologian, but this just doesn't seem right. 1.4960 0.02444 756 457 223 76
72 I just didn't expect that this is what we'd do on the 8th day. 1.4959 0.02252 986 620 243 123
73 It's not like they were taking great care of it. 1.4956 0.02140 1033 636 282 115
74 I hope they don’t blow themselves up before it’s my turn. 1.4942 0.02126 1042 642 285 115
75 Einstein was right. God doen't play dice with the universe 1.4888 0.02321 939 600 219 120
76 We keep score on the Richter Scale. 1.4880 0.02217 959 597 256 106
77 Actually, I'm not sure if the Boss knows, but we ran it through legal and they thought it was fine. 1.4872 0.02571 702 435 192 75
78 I don't believe it either, but this is what they voted for. 1.4861 0.02323 938 602 216 120
79 When it splits open, all hell breaks loose 1.4845 0.02218 935 580 257 98
80 They were just going to blow it up anyway. 1.4844 0.02313 900 568 228 104
81 If Trump is reelected, the blindfold goes. 1.4840 0.02449 909 603 172 134
82 And they're worried about global warming. 1.4840 0.02485 717 439 209 69
83 Is that Scott? Nah, Pruit does it with his eyes open. 1.4829 0.02413 907 595 186 126
84 Two to one God's still pulling the strings and he misses 1.4802 0.02284 883 552 238 93
85 Originally it was flat, but it was too hard to hit." 1.4801 0.02405 829 526 208 95
86 I always feel sorry for their theologians after our parties. 1.4792 0.02328 866 546 225 95
87 He’s working in mysterious ways again. 1.4763 0.02631 697 446 170 81
88 No way am I putting anything from that in my mouth. 1.4760 0.02190 832 498 272 62
89 Bob is a klutz. My money is on global warming. 1.4742 0.02454 795 509 195 91
90 Yes, a lot of things have changed around here since we got a Pope from Latin America. 1.4742 0.02528 814 538 166 110
91 He's been getting closer ever since the election. 1.4735 0.02393 811 514 210 87
92 He only said we couldn't flood it again. 1.4731 0.02796 577 362 157 58
93 I love when Judgment Day falls on a Taco Tuesday. 1.4730 0.02501 797 519 179 99
94 The last time he connected, we lost the dinosaurs 1.4727 0.02404 806 512 207 87
95 Two bits says that Trump busts it before he does. 1.4726 0.02438 802 514 197 91
96 Hit along a fault line or they'll get suspicious. 1.4713 0.02397 785 494 212 79
97 Of all the apocalyptic scenarios, I bet they didn't see this one coming. 1.4649 0.02534 727 468 180 79
98 he's Trump's foreign policy advisor 1.4646 0.02646 734 490 147 97
99 I used to think He had a plan. 1.4631 0.02554 719 465 175 79
100 His name? Scott Pruitt." 1.4627 0.02598 711 464 165 82
101 Down there on Earth it goes by many names, the Rapture, End of Days, the Second Coming. Up here, we just call it Fiesta! 1.4618 0.02518 706 450 186 70
102 He's been getting a lot closer since 2016. 1.4589 0.03607 353 228 88 37
103 Now up to bat - - R. Mageddon! 1.4579 0.02946 570 379 121 70
104 You think he can get it done before Trump does it? 1.4567 0.02706 670 445 144 81
105 If Trump wins again, the blindfold comes off. 1.4563 0.02749 664 445 135 84
106 I expected that actually "playing God" would be a little more imaginative 1.4563 0.02570 664 424 177 63
107 It was this or "Pin the tail on Uranus." 1.4547 0.02875 618 418 119 81
108 Do you think they know it's all a game? 1.4545 0.02603 649 416 171 62
109 The whole idea of this game is to knock some sense into it." 1.4536 0.02518 646 405 189 52
110 Seems unnecessary. 1.4534 0.02805 633 425 129 79
111 They were overdue for a mass extinction event. We just wanted to make it fun. 1.4521 0.02675 637 415 156 66
112 Well, it's getting warmer. 1.4517 0.02617 631 404 169 58
113 2016...2017...2018... 1.4517 0.02721 631 415 147 69
114 The spin coming out of Washington, D.C. makes it almost impossible to hit! 1.4508 0.02724 630 415 146 69
115 We're hoping if he hits it hard enough, everything on earth will go back to normal. 1.4503 0.02715 624 409 149 66
116 It's filled with nuts. 1.4479 0.02775 614 408 137 69
117 It's all fun and games until somebody loses a continent. 1.4478 0.02713 603 392 152 59
118 I can't wait to hear how they report this on NPR. 1.4471 0.03120 501 337 104 60
119 Last time we tried this, Trump got elected. 1.4465 0.02829 598 400 129 69
120 Are you sure that we should be doing this? He just spent seven days working on it. 1.4459 0.02706 592 383 154 55
121 It will create a terrible mess but on the upside no more tweeting. 1.4437 0.02821 577 382 134 61
122 I just pictured something more elaborate when Stephen Hawking said, "The end of the world is nigh." 1.4423 0.02806 572 377 137 58
123 We might as well destroy it before Trump does. 1.4421 0.02899 570 384 120 66
124 The last time we played this game we lost the dinosaurs. 1.4417 0.02760 566 368 146 52
125 This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a wiffle. 1.4403 0.02822 561 370 135 56
126 They'll never know what hit 'em. 1.4401 0.02841 559 370 132 57
127 I wouldn't worry too much, there are billions of these things floating around. 1.4391 0.02748 542 348 150 44
128 Are we taking this string theory thing a little too literally? 1.4388 0.02940 515 340 124 51
129 Just told him that Jeff Sessions quoted Romans 13. He's swinging for the fences 1.4375 0.02862 544 360 130 54
130 He said a flood wasn’t enough this time. 1.4373 0.02772 542 351 145 46
131 Here comes the Big Bang. 1.4369 0.02939 515 341 123 51
132 I don't know why we bother with this game. They're doing a good enough job on their own. 1.4350 0.02862 531 350 131 50
133 Now this is fun. Remember when it was flat? 1.4340 0.02943 523 350 119 54
134 Has it really been 66 million years already? 1.4316 0.02830 512 333 137 42
135 We've tried floods, pestilence, wars, nothing seems to work. So why not this? 1.4286 0.02972 497 332 117 48
136 If He asks, Satan did it. 1.4283 0.02994 495 332 114 49
137 It's allowed under the loosened EPA rules. 1.4279 0.03351 416 284 86 46
138 I wish the anti-science folks could see this! 1.4274 0.02819 489 315 139 35
139 They really have no idea how insignificant they are. 1.4262 0.03024 488 329 110 49
140 We put Scott Pruitt inside. 1.4259 0.03102 486 333 99 54
141 The last time we did this Trump was elected. 1.4259 0.03143 486 336 93 57
142 Eternity sounds like fun at first. Then boredom sets in. 1.4252 0.02967 468 308 121 39
143 God help cartoonists: left hand over right is not right. 1.4250 0.03102 480 328 100 52
144 Who gave Justice a bat? 1.4250 0.03088 480 327 102 51
145 He's training for a job at the EPA. 1.4247 0.03140 478 329 95 54
146 I always thought it would be global warming. 1.4234 0.03077 470 318 105 47
147 There are no bad angels. There are only bored angels." 1.4232 0.03054 475 321 107 47
148 Seems to me they’re doing a pretty good job themselves. 1.4222 0.02945 469 309 122 38
149 God said we should have fun before putting it out of its misery. 1.4218 0.03046 467 314 109 44
150 Earth was always a hit or miss proposition. 1.4218 0.02859 467 302 133 32
151 You know, it's not the real one. That's already ruined. 1.4215 0.03040 465 312 110 43
152 You were bored with earth quakes, hurricanes, floods, fires and Trump? 1.4208 0.03058 461 310 108 43
153 When this guy was done with Pluto it wasn't even a planet. 1.4208 0.03135 461 315 98 48
154 Don't worry--Yankees can't get in here, and Cubs can't hit it. 1.4205 0.03234 459 320 85 54
155 The last time he won, the dinosaurs went extinct. 1.4201 0.03077 457 308 106 43
156 We got tired of waiting for an asteroid to do it. 1.4201 0.03014 457 304 114 39
157 It's been 4.543 billion years - maybe it's time someone else got a turn. 1.4198 0.03087 455 307 105 43
158 I told him it would break itself if he just left it alone. 1.4194 0.03081 453 305 106 42
159 No fair hitting below the equator. 1.4194 0.03033 453 302 112 39
160 If you ask me, it's not an extinction event without cake and ice cream. 1.4194 0.03081 453 305 106 42
161 Taking a blind swing at the world is popular on Earth right now. 1.4191 0.03074 451 303 107 41
162 So this is how the world ends? I would have never guessed. 1.4167 0.03058 444 297 109 38
163 I don't like this. The big guy spent 6 days making it. 1.4167 0.03091 444 299 105 40
164 WOW !! And he's one of our batter angels. !! 1.4159 0.03289 440 308 81 51
165 Wow! He said he was mad at the world, but I figured he'd just post something snarky on Facebook. 1.4151 0.03062 436 291 109 36
166 What can they expect, putting everything in the Cloud! 1.4151 0.03214 436 300 91 45
167 You should've been here when he knocked Pluto out of the park. 1.4151 0.03164 436 297 97 42
168 Honestly, the way its going, the humans might get the job done quicker... 1.4150 0.03004 441 292 115 34
169 Metaphorically speaking, it's God's way of saying that his button is bigger than Trump's. 1.4145 0.03177 427 290 97 40
170 And on the 8th day, they had a party. 1.4140 0.03246 430 297 88 45
171 It's called Trump Ball but no one knows the rules. 1.4140 0.03161 430 292 98 40
172 I don't even like the molten center, it's just the sport of it for me 1.4136 0.03154 428 290 99 39
173 That planet has always been hit or miss. 1.4135 0.04683 208 144 42 22
174 65 million years from now they'll think it was an asteroid 1.4128 0.04868 172 115 43 14
175 I hope it's filled with Skittles. The last time it was filled with these big lizards with sharp teeth. 1.4122 0.03176 427 291 96 40
176 If this thing explodes on it's own, I don't think that should count. 1.4118 0.03062 425 283 109 33
177 It's a small world, isn't it? 1.4113 0.03090 423 283 106 34
178 And scientists think an asteroid wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.4113 0.03035 423 280 112 31
179 He wants to beat Trump to it. 1.4101 0.03352 417 293 77 47
180 Make it look like an accident 1.4096 0.03240 415 285 90 40
181 One good whack and they’ll start believing in the big guy again. 1.4092 0.03178 413 280 97 36
182 Yeah, the world's going to end, but....CANDY! 1.4088 0.03262 411 283 88 40
183 They'll probably never know what hit them. 1.4088 0.03244 411 282 90 39
184 Thank God we only play this every 66 million years. 1.4088 0.03132 411 276 102 33
185 What is Scott Pruitt doing here? I was certain he was headed to the other place. 1.4083 0.03328 409 285 81 43
186 Global warming was taking too long. 1.4080 0.03200 402 272 96 34
187 After Trump’s election, the Old Man said, “Sure, what the hell, take a swing.” 1.4079 0.03303 407 282 84 41
188 The fallout should be interesting. 1.4079 0.03191 407 276 96 35
189 The treats will be out of this world. 1.4074 0.03424 405 287 71 47
190 We're hoping for chocolate but it'll probably be plastic. 1.4074 0.03164 405 273 99 33
191 Why do you think they call it the Big Bang? 1.4074 0.03351 405 283 79 43
192 The last time he got a really solid hit was 65 million years ago. 1.4069 0.03056 403 266 110 27
193 I only needed one swing to take out the dinosaurs. 1.4065 0.03224 401 273 93 35
194 It's been ages since anyone actually hit it. It just makes a big bang. 1.4065 0.03126 401 268 103 30
195 Like the world isn't whacked enough already. 1.4065 0.03126 401 268 103 30
196 Says his name is Scott Pruitt. 1.4050 0.03508 400 288 62 50
197 If he ever hits it we'll be swamped with immigrants. 1.4045 0.03448 398 283 69 46
198 Last time we did this only a moon came out. 1.4026 0.03245 390 266 91 33
199 It’s the least of their worries. 1.4016 0.03370 386 269 79 38
200 We should probably step back. It's mostly water. 1.4016 0.03185 386 260 97 29
201 He's celebrating becoming head of EPA. 1.4016 0.03468 386 274 69 43
202 Plan B is Donald Trump. 1.4012 0.03587 339 236 70 33
203 Floods are so Old Testament. 1.4010 0.03238 384 261 92 31
204 This could be interesting. The last time anyone hit it there was only one Continent! 1.4005 0.03098 382 253 105 24
205 I think we're missing the point of Earth Day 1.4000 0.03283 380 260 88 32
206 Who does he think he is? Scott Pruitt? 1.4000 0.03468 380 269 70 41
207 He couldn't hit Jupiter. 1.3995 0.03295 378 259 87 32
208 It contains mostly nuts. 1.3995 0.03186 378 254 97 27
209 He gets one more swing and then we will just let climate change do its job. 1.3989 0.03263 376 256 90 30
210 Oh, since about November 2016." 1.3984 0.03425 374 262 75 37
211 Hark the angels swing 1.3984 0.03319 374 257 85 32
212 We’re trying to spin it back to 2016.” 1.3978 0.03459 372 262 72 38
213 Maybe we could trade him to the Saints. 1.3978 0.03374 372 258 80 34
214 It's been 4.6 billion years - can we go home? 1.3978 0.03417 372 260 76 36
215 It is not as much fun as Pin the Tail on Uranus. 1.3973 0.03514 370 263 67 40
216 He said that he had an Earth-shattering idea. 1.3963 0.03304 376 259 85 32
217 It’s the new Big Bang theory. 1.3962 0.03301 366 250 87 29
218 Inside are joy, lust, rage, shame, depression, narcissism, addiction, crazy, lazy, pity, apathy, stupidity, civil war, raging hormones, political gridlock, toxic masculinity, and Mexican candy. 1.3962 0.03478 366 258 71 37
219 God's giving bonus points to anyone who hits Mar-a-Lago on the first swing. 1.3962 0.03584 366 263 61 42
220 Let's face it, he's only on the team because his dad owns the place. 1.3950 0.03160 362 241 99 22
221 We may be here awhile--he used to play for the Mets. 1.3950 0.03439 362 253 75 34
222 You really don’t want to know what is inside, but I would step back. 1.3950 0.03302 362 247 87 28
223 Swing ... and a Myth! 1.3950 0.03416 362 252 77 33
224 Two more misses and he's going back to Congress. 1.3950 0.03416 362 252 77 33
225 Even having the world on a string doesn’t help. 1.3950 0.03461 362 254 73 35
226 Didn't Trump already break it? 1.3944 0.03518 360 255 68 37
227 Somehow I always thought Fate would be a more profound process. 1.3928 0.03248 359 243 91 25
228 We made sure everyone was dead first, right? 1.3928 0.03435 359 251 75 33
229 We're down to like eight or nine planets; maybe we should play something else on your birthday. 1.3928 0.03320 359 246 85 28
230 What are you hoping for--world peace or Snickers? 1.3922 0.03516 357 253 68 36
231 Next we’re going to bob for forbidden fruit. 1.3922 0.03332 357 245 84 28
232 Why even bother? They're doing well enough on their own. 1.3922 0.03471 357 251 72 34
233 It's like whack-a-mole but with consequences. 1.3922 0.03284 357 243 88 26
234 Its no more random than Trump, so we thought “why not?” 1.3909 0.03521 353 250 68 35
235 Yes, there was a moon. His aim is terrible 1.3903 0.03394 351 243 79 29
236 The boss says it's a dud, so we can do what we want with it. 1.3903 0.03512 351 248 69 34
237 10 bucks says he hits San Francisco again... 1.3878 0.03322 343 234 85 24
238 Getting hotter 1.3871 0.03560 341 242 66 33
239 We had one of these for God’s birthday and the humans called it the “Big Bang.” 1.3871 0.03535 341 241 68 32
240 It's about to get crowded up here. 1.3871 0.03511 341 240 70 31
241 If he makes solid contact, it'll be earth-shattering. 1.3871 0.03386 341 235 80 26
242 We'll show them Divine Intervention! 1.3871 0.03560 341 242 66 33
243 Looks like T.S. Eliot was wrong. 1.3871 0.03411 341 236 78 27
244 It's not full of candy; it's full of nuts. 1.3864 0.03550 339 240 67 32
245 They will blame it on climate change. 1.3864 0.03373 339 233 81 25
246 How did you think the earth rotates? 1.3862 0.03796 290 204 60 26
247 God knows we do this? 1.3858 0.03564 337 239 66 32
248 This is how we test for blind faith. 1.3858 0.03438 337 234 76 27
249 Last time all we got were dinosaurs. 1.3851 0.03452 335 233 75 27
250 So I take it God's not coming back. 1.3846 0.03658 325 232 61 32
251 We were saving this for later, but with the current rate of global warming, all the candy is gonna melt. 1.3830 0.03573 329 233 66 30
252 I usually like pinatas, but I'm pretty sure this one's full of nuts. 1.3823 0.03665 327 235 59 33
253 The last time we broke it only single cell animals fell out. 1.3808 0.03538 323 227 69 27
254 Fuck it. They deserve it. 1.3801 0.03552 321 226 68 27
255 This seems redundant. Aren't they doing this themselves? 1.3797 0.03478 316 219 74 23
256 It's not a metaphor. 1.3797 0.03449 316 218 76 22
257 It is a small world after all. 1.3793 0.03455 319 221 75 23
258 What on earth do you think is inside? 1.3793 0.03540 319 224 69 26
259 Pinata? We've been calling it 'fracking'. 1.3793 0.03540 319 224 69 26
260 Oh for heaven sake ... its a metal bat against a magnetic field so why is a blindfold necessary? 1.3786 0.03917 280 201 52 27
261 Is this really how we should be celebrating Earth Day? 1.3778 0.03336 315 214 83 18
262 I always thought it was pronounced 'rapture'. 1.3778 0.03654 315 225 61 29
263 He's in for a huge disappointment when he sees what spills out. 1.3778 0.03626 315 224 63 28
264 I love how they keep thinking it’s a meteor. 1.3778 0.03513 315 220 71 24
265 Let's face it.... he couldn't hit Jupiter if they put it on a tee. 1.3770 0.03642 313 223 62 28
266 I can't wait for pin the tail on Uranus. 1.3762 0.03513 311 217 71 23
267 I hear that's how Trump presides over the USA - blindfolded to the facts and comes out swinging. 1.3762 0.03686 311 223 59 29
268 That makes it a full count for Blind Faith 1.3762 0.03572 311 219 67 25
269 Management decided that global warming was just taking too damn long. 1.3762 0.03513 311 217 71 23
270 Now you know what makes the Earth go around. 1.3754 0.03759 309 224 54 31
271 He doesn't take his smiting as seriously as he used to. 1.3754 0.03587 309 218 66 25
272 This is really going to confuse scientists. 1.3754 0.03587 309 218 66 25
273 It's ok. They'll think it's a hoax. 1.3746 0.03661 307 219 61 27
274 I bet it self-destructs before he hits it. 1.3738 0.03558 305 214 68 23
275 On my birthday it was full of dinosaurs. 1.3738 0.03648 305 217 62 26
276 I keep telling him to swing low. 1.3729 0.03723 303 218 57 28
277 The last time we played this, the cutest little dinosaurs spilled out! 1.3729 0.03634 303 215 63 25
278 For a righteous God, He has a wicked sense of humor. 1.3721 0.03711 301 216 58 27
279 Remember when the phrase 'getting warmer ' wasn't ironic? 1.3712 0.03727 299 215 57 27
280 Not so much the Angel of Death as the Angel of Passive Aggression. 1.3712 0.03446 299 206 75 18
281 It's a preemptive strike. 1.3707 0.03647 294 208 63 23
282 They think it’s something to do with tectonic plates. 1.3704 0.03427 297 204 76 17
283 One of our batter angels 1.3704 0.04137 243 175 46 22
284 And, you're sure the Boss said this was OK? 1.3704 0.03683 297 212 60 25
285 After this, we'll dance on the head on a pin. 1.3695 0.03669 295 210 61 24
286 There must be a better way to knock some sense into the people! 1.3695 0.03637 295 209 63 23
287 One small swing for man.....one giant miss for mankind. 1.3686 0.03779 293 212 54 27
288 Last time he hit it,we lost Atlantis... 1.3686 0.03523 293 204 70 19
289 Am I the only one who remembers what happened to Mars when we did this? 1.3686 0.03779 293 212 54 27
290 We do this every year on His birthday. He thinks it's hilarious." 1.3677 0.03572 291 204 67 20
291 I hate the way HE pulls it up just before we swing." 1.3677 0.03797 291 211 53 27
292 He's calling it 'The World Series' 1.3668 0.03621 289 204 64 21
293 The Big Bang 1.3668 0.03846 289 211 50 28
294 Betcha five bucks all Hell breaks loose. 1.3668 0.03751 289 208 56 25
295 This is how we move heaven and earth." 1.3659 0.03769 287 207 55 25
296 What's the worst that could happen? 1.3659 0.03670 287 204 61 22
297 Justice is blind but she sure packs a wallop. 1.3649 0.03620 285 201 64 20
298 This way, the Boss has plausible deniability. 1.3649 0.03721 285 204 58 23
299 I don't know what it's full of. But, I have a theory. 1.3649 0.03819 285 207 52 26
300 Wait until you hear how scientists explain the random occurrence of earthquakes 1.3640 0.03738 283 203 57 23
301 That's Nature- he bats last. 1.3640 0.03349 283 192 79 12
302 They'll just blame it on climate change. 1.3640 0.03670 283 201 61 21
303 This game takes forever. 1.3630 0.03756 281 202 56 23
304 Don't worry about it. If he fails, it isn't the end of the world. 1.3630 0.03582 281 197 66 18
305 He's never been the same since he was assigned to Scott Pruitt. 1.3630 0.03953 281 208 44 29
306 Amazingly there have only been five mass extinctions. 1.3630 0.03582 281 197 66 18
307 After this we play pin the tail on Uranus. 1.3630 0.03722 281 201 58 22
308 Wait, what is it hanging from? 1.3630 0.03889 281 206 48 27
309 And that's a miss. But they will be wondering what is happening to their ozone layer. 1.3630 0.03582 281 197 66 18
310 Should we wait for God? He loves this game 1.3626 0.03762 273 195 57 21
311 And to think they're so concerned about asteroids. 1.3623 0.03662 276 195 62 19
312 Global warming? No such thing. It’s the pinata effect. 1.3623 0.03837 276 200 52 24
313 The good news is God pulls it up every time she gets close... 1.3623 0.03837 276 200 52 24
314 Making heaven great again. 1.3623 0.03872 276 201 50 25
315 If he hits it, Trump will blame Obama. 1.3620 0.03973 279 207 43 29
316 Last year it was "pin-the-tail" on Uranus. 1.3620 0.03841 279 203 51 25
317 There he goes, playing God again. 1.3620 0.03563 279 195 67 17
318 I think they're probably expecting this anyway. 1.3613 0.03568 274 191 67 16
319 We figured, what the hell... 1.3613 0.03715 274 195 59 20
320 Well, so much for having the world on a string. 1.3613 0.03642 274 193 63 18
321 It's for their own good. 1.3613 0.03751 274 196 57 21
322 Expect mostly plastic. 1.3613 0.03821 274 198 53 23
323 Piñatageddon 1.3613 0.03679 274 194 61 19
324 We got the idea of 'Whack a World' from watching the President. 1.3613 0.03856 274 199 51 24
325 This may take a while. On earth he was an Oriole. 1.3613 0.03786 274 197 55 22
326 The fact that he's missed for centuries might actually be proof that prayer works. 1.3613 0.03568 274 191 67 16
327 Thank goodness he only hits it once every 5 million years 1.3613 0.03679 274 194 61 19
328 He’s trying to beat the record time set by Trump and Pruitt in the early 21st century. 1.3613 0.03925 274 201 47 26
329 And now you know how the fault lines got created. 1.3603 0.03696 272 193 60 19
330 Just don't tell him it's really full of lava. 1.3603 0.03390 272 185 76 11
331 This is going to take eternity. 1.3603 0.03732 272 194 58 20
332 Joke's on him. The center is mostly iron and nickel. 1.3603 0.03804 272 196 54 22
333 Yeah, no one saw this coming. We thought sure it would be by fire. 1.3603 0.03659 272 192 62 18
334 Instead of candy it's full of nuts. 1.3593 0.03787 270 194 55 21
335 I love election night! 1.3593 0.03787 270 194 55 21
336 Three to one he only hits water 1.3590 0.03721 273 195 58 20
337 At this point, what’s the worst that could happen? 1.3590 0.03685 273 194 60 19
338 Scott Pruitt throws the weirdest parties. 1.3590 0.03932 273 201 46 26
339 I miss dancing on the head of a pin. 1.3590 0.03932 273 201 46 26
340 Now it really is a World Series! 1.3590 0.03793 273 197 54 22
341 Don't get your hopes up. It's filled with nuts. 1.3590 0.03828 273 198 52 23
342 He's so pious. He misses on purpose all the time. 1.3590 0.03459 273 188 72 13
343 I'm betting that the humans will destroy it before he even hits it. 1.3590 0.03828 273 198 52 23
344 He figured that he’d do it before Trump did 1.3590 0.03828 273 198 52 23
345 The last time we played this they lost the dinosaurs. 1.3582 0.03617 268 188 64 16
346 I thought an apocalypse would go down more easily with a festive touch. 1.3582 0.03539 268 186 68 14
347 Who said justice isn't blind? 1.3582 0.03914 268 196 48 24
348 They'll blame it on fracking. 1.3582 0.03878 268 195 50 23
349 He should aim for the United States. They need a good spanking right now. 1.3582 0.03805 268 193 54 21
350 He was part of Trump's EPA. 1.3579 0.03986 271 201 43 27
351 Warmer... 1.3579 0.03811 271 196 53 22
352 Well, it won’t be candy. 1.3579 0.03590 271 190 65 16
353 Do you really think this is a good way to celebrate Earth Day? 1.3579 0.03739 271 194 57 20
354 Think he’ll get it before Pruitt does? 1.3579 0.03882 271 198 49 24
355 He hasn't hit it once in 4.5 billion years. 1.3571 0.03749 266 190 57 19
356 I don't remember doing anything this earth-shattering at my quinceañera. 1.3571 0.03749 266 190 57 19
357 It's the latest cloud app. 1.3571 0.03861 266 193 51 22
358 6 thousand, 4.5 billion. All I'm saying is it's someone else's turn. 1.3571 0.03594 266 186 65 15
359 It’s full of Mars bars. He wants the world to know He’s angry, but He still has His sense of humor. 1.3571 0.03672 266 188 61 17
360 Shouldn't God answer some prayers instead of wasting his time holding the rope? 1.3569 0.03528 269 187 68 14
361 I'm not sure this is how to make the world great again. 1.3561 0.04097 264 198 38 28
362 This year it’s filled with chaos. 1.3550 0.03900 262 191 49 22
363 Do you think he will knock some sense into it? 1.3550 0.03668 262 185 61 16
364 I hate being on earthquake duty. 1.3550 0.03824 262 189 53 20
365 Just imagine their disappointment when they realize we said rupture, not Rapture. 1.3550 0.03862 262 190 51 21
366 Who's turn is it to be Trump next? 1.3545 0.03909 268 197 47 24
367 His name is Apocalypse. He usually misses, but he's been getting closer lately. 1.3540 0.04057 226 162 48 16
368 The Big Guy said to tell them it’s “the Trump Effect.” 1.3538 0.03843 260 188 52 20
369 I'll bet you ten blessings that the humans destroy it before he does. 1.3538 0.03994 260 192 44 24
370 This is heaven so he gets four strikes. 1.3538 0.03685 260 184 60 16
371 You think we should tell him it's full of crap? 1.3538 0.04176 260 197 34 29
372 Not bad, but he's no Donald Trump. 1.3538 0.03881 260 189 50 21
373 If he hits the ocean, we're going to be drowning in plastic bags! 1.3527 0.03862 258 187 51 20
374 Last time? You would have loved it! Those dinosaurs? Everywhere! 1.3527 0.03578 258 180 65 13
375 It’s not quite how I pictured the Apocalypse. 1.3527 0.03823 258 186 53 19
376 So much for a whimper 1.3527 0.03862 258 187 51 20
377 Don’t we have better angels? 1.3520 0.03948 250 182 48 20
378 Don't act so offended. It's not like you made it. 1.3518 0.03833 253 182 53 18
379 I keep telling him he's not gonna want what's in there. 1.3516 0.03720 256 182 58 16
380 It’s the end of the world, as we know it. 1.3516 0.03882 256 186 50 20
381 Is this one of those "Make Heaven Great Again" activities? 1.3516 0.03882 256 186 50 20
382 The last time he hit it the dinosaurs went extinct. 1.3504 0.03738 254 181 57 16
383 Warmer . . . warmer. . . . warmer. 1.3504 0.03738 254 181 57 16
384 I’m tempted to remove the blindfold. 1.3504 0.04019 254 188 43 23
385 All yours—I’m allergic to nuts. 1.3504 0.03821 254 183 53 18
386 We got permission to start over, so we are having fun with it. 1.3504 0.03901 254 185 49 20
387 It's a new way to smite...still in beta, though. 1.3494 0.03657 249 175 61 13
388 Who knows, it could be an improvement. 1.3492 0.03672 252 178 60 14
389 We only let Halley take a swing every 75 years, but he's getting closer 1.3492 0.03881 252 183 50 19
390 Even when he makes contact, the only thing that comes out is lava. 1.3492 0.03757 252 180 56 16
391 Donald Trump is the only one I can think of who could do it blindfolded. 1.3492 0.03921 252 184 48 20
392 Can't be as bad as what they're doing to it 1.3492 0.03921 252 184 48 20
393 Can't be worse than November 8, 2016. 1.3492 0.03799 252 181 54 17
394 I hear he swings both ways. 1.3492 0.03881 252 183 50 19
395 This is the worst bachelor party in eons. 1.3484 0.03969 244 178 47 19
396 If he hits it, it's gonna get a lot more crowded up here. 1.3480 0.03859 250 181 51 18
397 God's not dead, just indifferent. 1.3480 0.03556 250 174 65 11
398 The Boss has pretty much given up on this one, anyway. 1.3480 0.03859 250 181 51 18
399 About as close as The Angels are gonna come to a World Seties this year 1.3480 0.03982 250 184 45 21
400 Clearly not one of our better angels. 1.3480 0.03689 250 177 59 14
401 We all remember what happened to Pluto. 1.3480 0.03733 250 178 57 15
402 I hope he keeps on missing. That thing is polluted. 1.3480 0.04023 250 185 43 22
403 We were all surprised to see Scott Pruitt here 1.3471 0.04033 242 178 44 20
404 His exact words were 'Why am I having all these people from shithole planets come here?' 1.3468 0.03962 248 182 46 20
405 We're going to Hell for this. 1.3468 0.03879 248 180 50 18
406 What happens in heaven stays in heaven. 1.3468 0.03879 248 180 50 18
407 He was the head of the Environmental Protection Agency. 1.3468 0.03921 248 181 48 19
408 They'll never even know what hit 'em. 1.3468 0.03751 248 177 56 15
409 I wonder why everyone keeps hitting Washington DC? 1.3468 0.03794 248 178 54 16
410 God says it's totally trashed, have at it. 1.3457 0.03756 243 173 56 14
411 Last time we hit it the dinosaurs died. 1.3455 0.03813 246 177 53 16
412 So THAT'S what makes the world go 'round. 1.3455 0.03899 246 179 49 18
413 I bet it's filled with nuts. 1.3455 0.03725 246 175 57 14
414 All he does for the seventy-five years between swings is train but somehow Halley still manages to miss every time. 1.3455 0.03899 246 179 49 18
415 He’s been at this since January 20th 2017 1.3455 0.04106 246 184 39 23
416 In a literal sense, Einstein was right about God not playing dice. 1.3455 0.03856 246 178 51 17
417 Thank God Justice is Blind 1.3455 0.03856 246 178 51 17
418 We get one swing every time he tweets. 1.3455 0.04025 246 182 43 21
419 I thought it was supposed to end with a whimper. 1.3455 0.03769 246 176 55 15
420 Jesus Christ, hit it. 1.3444 0.03997 241 177 45 19
421 Come on flatten it! 1.3444 0.03997 241 177 45 19
422 . . . . and they’re worried about asteroids... 1.3444 0.03775 241 172 55 14
423 Can you believe the last time we did this was 65 million years ago? 1.3444 0.03910 241 175 49 17
424 If you think this looks hard, wait 'til you try dancing on the head of a pin. 1.3444 0.04040 241 178 43 20
425 It is our new foreign policy. 1.3444 0.03910 241 175 49 17
426 Ironically it's stuffed with Mars Bars. 1.3436 0.04301 195 141 41 13
427 Make the Universe great again. 1.3422 0.04334 225 170 33 22
428 If he connects, it's six more weeks of hurricanes. 1.3418 0.03996 237 174 45 18
429 It's not even filled with candy. It's just a bunch of nuts and flakes. 1.3418 0.04041 237 175 43 19
430 I still can’t believe Pruitt ended up here. 1.3418 0.04171 237 178 37 22
431 Well, the idea is that it can't make things much worse. 1.3418 0.03906 237 172 49 16
432 Does Father know about this? 1.3417 0.04048 240 178 42 20
433 If he manages to hit it, we’ll blame Trump. 1.3417 0.04217 240 182 34 24
434 After this we’re gonna play Pin the Tail on Uranus. 1.3404 0.04107 235 175 40 20
435 There's gonna be hell to pay when dad finds out ! 1.3404 0.04107 235 175 40 20
436 It seems redundant but I'm in heaven. And I've got the world on a string. 1.3404 0.04107 235 175 40 20
437 I prefer pin the tail on the comet. 1.3404 0.04063 235 174 42 19
438 In Hell it's the same game, but no blindfold. 1.3404 0.04018 235 173 44 18
439 In 4 billion years,the closest he's come was 60 million years ago. 1.3404 0.03880 235 170 50 15
440 If this one's filled with hot gas and magma too I'm going home. 1.3404 0.03972 235 172 46 17
441 I miss this game. We only play it every 65 million years. 1.3404 0.04195 235 177 36 22
442 You should have seen what fell out of Uranus. 1.3404 0.04107 235 175 40 20
443 Luckily for humans they don't know their future is hanging by a string. 1.3404 0.04063 235 174 42 19
444 I still feel guilty about the dinosaurs. 1.3404 0.03972 235 172 46 17
445 In life he was known as Donald Trump. 1.3404 0.04151 235 176 38 21
446 I had to get it custom. Took the man upstairs six days to make the damn thing. 1.3403 0.03937 238 174 47 17
447 The humans have nothing to worry about, this guy used to bat for the Mets. 1.3403 0.03800 238 171 53 14
448 Whack it again ... some of those folks down there still haven’t gotten the message. 1.3403 0.03657 238 168 59 11
449 People in Hawaii hate when we do this. 1.3403 0.03892 238 173 49 16
450 Talk about hammering home a metaphor. 1.3403 0.04070 238 177 41 20
451 I wonder what they do in Hell for birthdays? 1.3403 0.04070 238 177 41 20
452 No one can hit the damn thing. It's like it has a magnetic field or something. 1.3392 0.04068 227 167 43 17
453 And they thought global warming was a problem. 1.3391 0.03852 233 168 51 14
454 And humans think love makes the world go round. 1.3391 0.03900 233 169 49 15
455 I'd rather swing on a star. 1.3391 0.04040 233 172 43 18
456 Too bad. He was trying to beat some sense into it. 1.3391 0.04040 233 172 43 18
457 Good thing we have an eternity. 1.3391 0.03994 233 171 45 17
458 You remembered to fill it full of candy instead of 39 billion cubic miles of molten iron and nickel, right? 1.3391 0.03804 233 167 53 13
459 Everything’s left - his swing AND what he swings at. 1.3391 0.04433 233 181 25 27
460 Because we can't play dice with the universe any more. 1.3391 0.03994 233 171 45 17
461 Every time he misses it's not the end of the world. 1.3391 0.04085 233 173 41 19
462 This game didn't start until the Trump administration 1.3391 0.04175 233 175 37 21
463 Things seemed to be going downhill fast, so the Big Guy just figured "What the hell." 1.3391 0.04130 233 174 39 20
464 What the Hell is it hanging from? 1.3391 0.04130 233 174 39 20
465 We'll be here for an eternity at this rate. 1.3391 0.04085 233 173 41 19
466 Why else do you think it was created? 1.3377 0.03920 231 168 48 15
467 They'll blame Global Warming 1.3377 0.03968 231 169 46 16
468 Last time, he wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.3377 0.03920 231 168 48 15
469 Don't worry, they'll just think it was an asteroid. 1.3377 0.03823 231 166 52 13
470 The big man is starting over, so he let us have a little fun with the old one. 1.3377 0.03968 231 169 46 16
471 I always thought the apocalypse would be more religious based. 1.3377 0.03920 231 168 48 15
472 The last time? About 65 million years ago. 1.3377 0.03920 231 168 48 15
473 Remember when there were guardian angels? 1.3377 0.03872 231 167 50 14
474 They refer to it as "El Nino" when he bats lefty. 1.3363 0.03964 223 162 47 14
475 This guy can't hit the broad side of a planet. 1.3362 0.03941 229 167 47 15
476 Hark the herald angels swing... and a miss. 1.3362 0.04177 229 172 37 20
477 He's even worse at the ring toss around Saturn. 1.3362 0.03941 229 167 47 15
478 If I hit hard enough, maybe I can knock some sense into them! 1.3362 0.03892 229 166 49 14
479 A flood worked better last time 1.3348 0.03863 227 164 50 13
480 What they'll refer to one day as the Big Bang. 1.3348 0.04108 227 169 40 18
481 you would think an angel could see through a blind fold 1.3348 0.04293 227 173 32 22
482 I was told there'd be four horses at this party. 1.3348 0.03963 227 166 46 15
483 It would be more fun if it were filled with candy instead of with petrochemicals... 1.3333 0.04034 225 166 43 16
484 He does know its filled with 5 gallons of magma, right? 1.3333 0.04021 222 163 44 15
485 Remember what happened to the dinosaurs the last time we played this game 1.3333 0.03813 222 159 52 11
486 I guessing if you're good at this you're probably in that other place. 1.3333 0.04131 225 168 39 18
487 This could take an eternity! 1.3333 0.03759 222 158 54 10
488 If this does not bring the Second Coming I don't know what will 1.3333 0.04131 225 168 39 18
489 And they're worried about nuclear weapons. 1.3333 0.03970 222 162 46 14
490 Well this is much more fun than that dancing-on-the-head-of-a-pin game we did back in the Middle Ages. 1.3318 0.03887 220 159 49 12
491 Of course, no one ever asks what the other end of the string holding it up is actually attached to. 1.3318 0.03992 220 161 45 14
492 Because we're fed up and couldn't think of a better way to get rid of it. 1.3318 0.04044 220 162 43 15
493 I hear he played for the Cubs. 1.3318 0.04195 220 165 37 18
494 This is more fun than just pushing the 'Re-set" Button. 1.3303 0.04118 218 162 40 16
495 It's been 500 million years. It's about time for another calamity and mass extinction. 1.3303 0.04014 218 160 44 14
496 Not again. This is how we got Trump. 1.3303 0.04169 218 163 38 17
497 Global bashing is more fun than global warming. 1.3288 0.03892 219 159 48 12
498 It's all fun and games until everybody gets hurt. 1.3288 0.04102 219 163 40 16
499 I hope he knows it has a molten core! 1.3288 0.03892 219 159 48 12
500 There's definitely gonna be hell to pay if he makes contact. 1.3287 0.03983 216 158 45 13
501 The last time he hit it, Trump got elected 1.3287 0.04193 216 162 37 17
502 It’s not like we didn’t give them plenty of warning. 1.3287 0.04142 216 161 39 16
503 Now that’s a whole different ball of whacks. 1.3271 0.04321 214 163 32 19
504 Yes, we know nothing good will come out of it; that's why were using it for practice. 1.3271 0.03894 214 155 48 11
505 He’s the dude that knocked Pluto out of the solar system. 1.3271 0.04321 214 163 32 19
506 I guess it is a little morbid for an Earth Day party... 1.3271 0.04059 214 158 42 14
507 We do this once every four years. 1.3271 0.04166 214 160 38 16
508 This isn't working. Give them social media. 1.3271 0.04005 214 157 44 13
509 2000 years and he still holds a grudge... 1.3271 0.04166 214 160 38 16
510 Are you sure stick comes after water? I thought fire was next. 1.3271 0.04321 214 163 32 19
511 Pretty close, Halley. You can tty again in 75 years. 1.3271 0.03837 214 154 50 10
512 Good thing Justice is blind. 1.3271 0.04059 214 158 42 14
513 Best slugger on the planet. Off the planet -not so much. 1.3271 0.03950 214 156 46 12
514 In life, he was a president. 1.3271 0.04059 214 158 42 14
515 Played for the '62 Mets. 1.3271 0.03950 214 156 46 12
516 At this point it's just a question of who destroys it first. 1.3271 0.04005 214 157 44 13
517 Sometimes the world needs a little divine intervention. 1.3262 0.04584 187 142 29 16
518 It's a wonderful afterlife - every time a bell rings an angel gets his swings... 1.3255 0.04190 212 159 37 16
519 What's next? Saturn ring toss? 1.3255 0.03971 212 155 45 12
520 World Series! 1.3255 0.04449 212 164 27 21
521 This can take an eternity. 1.3255 0.04137 212 158 39 15
522 I'm not a big fan of his irony, but I do love candy. 1.3255 0.04027 212 156 43 13
523 Just watch. As soon as it breaks, Jesus will swoop in here and take all the good stuff. 1.3255 0.04082 212 157 41 14
524 It could get crowded up here. 1.3255 0.04190 212 159 37 16
525 His last birthday party was an extinction level event. 1.3255 0.04082 212 157 41 14
526 There goes seven days of creation! 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
527 It wasn't going to last much longer anyway! 1.3238 0.04106 210 156 40 14
528 It's okay. Mr. Pruitt told us the more you damage it, the better it gets. 1.3238 0.04374 210 161 30 19
529 So much for “the benign neglect of the universe”. 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
530 Imagine all the sh**t thats gonna fall outta that thing 1.3238 0.04322 210 160 32 18
531 Tootsie Rolls and Dum-Dums, mostly. A few Smarties, if you're lucky. 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
532 Last time we had a piñata at the company party we lost Pluto. 1.3238 0.04050 210 155 42 13
533 I hope it's filled with dinosaurs like at his last party. 1.3238 0.04161 210 157 38 15
534 To think that they're worried about climate change. 1.3238 0.04215 210 158 36 16
535 I'm not sure how he got here. He used to run a hedge fund. 1.3238 0.03993 210 154 44 12
536 Not exactly what I meant by "World on a String" 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
537 It's performance art. He's pretending to be Donald Trump. 1.3221 0.04402 208 160 29 19
538 Last time it was dinosaurs. 1.3221 0.03898 208 151 47 10
539 Another miss. I think we brought him up too soon. 1.3221 0.03957 208 152 45 11
540 The Flat Earth guys are terrible at Piñata. 1.3221 0.04129 208 155 39 14
541 I'm betting a 6.2 quake in Wales with a tsunami chaser. 1.3221 0.03957 208 152 45 11
542 I thought it would be nuclear war, or maybe climate change. 1.3221 0.03898 208 151 47 10
543 Wow! The Book of Revelation was way off. 1.3221 0.04015 208 153 43 12
544 And that’s how the Earth ended up flat. Checkmate, atheists 1.3221 0.04240 208 157 35 16
545 Somebody hit that thing before it melts on its own. 1.3221 0.04295 208 158 33 17
546 Tell me it’s just symbolic. 1.3220 0.04113 205 152 40 13
547 « He really hasn’t got a prayer. » 1.3220 0.04113 205 152 40 13
548 I wish he would just smote it already so we could move on to the cake. 1.3220 0.04055 205 151 42 12
549 At least it’s not flat. 1.3220 0.04228 205 154 36 15
550 If it breaks before your turn, it'll be Andreas' fault. 1.3220 0.04171 205 153 38 14
551 Ironically, they'll think it's an asteroid. 1.3220 0.04055 205 151 42 12
552 Maybe it is a good time to just put them out of their misery.... 1.3220 0.04055 205 151 42 12
553 If all of those crazy meteorologists only knew how hurricane season really happens. 1.3220 0.04228 205 154 36 15
554 That's how he got to be a saint--by not telling Trump a piñata is Mexican. 1.3220 0.04284 205 155 34 16
555 Earthlings call it divine retribution, but it's totally random whack-a-globe. 1.3220 0.04055 205 151 42 12
556 He's a Republican. He will wreck it eventually. 1.3220 0.04448 205 158 28 19
557 He’ll get it. He’s just global warming up. 1.3202 0.04367 203 155 31 17
558 It's nothing they aren't doing to themselves. 1.3202 0.04137 203 151 39 13
559 This is so redundant. 1.3186 0.04120 204 152 39 13
560 I had no idea this is what He had in mind when He was making it. 1.3184 0.04101 201 149 40 12
561 So much for "the whole world in his hands". 1.3184 0.04279 201 152 34 15
562 And to think the poor chumps will call it an act of God. 1.3184 0.03978 201 147 44 10
563 Last time we did this, those dinosaurs were not thrilled. 1.3184 0.04040 201 148 42 11
564 The last time he hit it we were up to our necks in dinosaurs. 1.3184 0.03915 201 146 46 9
565 I’m afraid he picked up a lot of bad habits when he was Trump’s guardian angel. 1.3166 0.04306 199 151 33 15
566 I guess it doesn't end in a whimper. 1.3166 0.04186 199 149 37 13
567 I thought it was tectonic plates too... 1.3166 0.04000 199 146 43 10
568 Last time he played, he whacked Mars into retrograde with Venus and all hell broke loose! 1.3150 0.04228 200 151 35 14
569 Climate change seems to be the more imminent threat. 1.3147 0.03892 197 143 46 8
570 Probably molten rock, but I'm hoping for candy. 1.3147 0.03892 197 143 46 8
571 It’s part of God’s Make Heaven Great Again program. 1.3147 0.04622 197 155 22 20
572 Scott Pruitt died and went to heaven. 1.3147 0.04392 197 151 30 16
573 I'm hoping he'll just hit Washington. 1.3147 0.04273 197 149 34 14
574 He's 0 for infinity. 1.3147 0.04150 197 147 38 12
575 So we're calling this "The Big Bang Theory?" 1.3147 0.04212 197 148 36 13
576 The boss says he's through using a carrot. 1.3147 0.04212 197 148 36 13
577 We never question God's sense of humor! 1.3147 0.04150 197 147 38 12
578 The rules are simple: Every time the bell rings, an angel gets his swings. 1.3147 0.04087 197 146 40 11
579 And you are positive he said he wanted a World piece? 1.3147 0.04392 197 151 30 16
580 Si. It’s our contribution to making America great again. 1.3147 0.04333 197 150 32 15
581 You should hear how science explains this! 1.3128 0.04360 195 149 31 15
582 I can't believe no one's hit this thing yet. 1.3128 0.04480 195 151 27 17
583 I hope he likes nuts. 1.3128 0.04299 195 148 33 14
584 And he wonders why he's always picked last for stickball. 1.3128 0.04174 195 146 37 12
585 Hark, Harold the Angel’s Swing 1.3128 0.04299 195 148 33 14
586 It's Kim's turn next 1.3128 0.04299 195 148 33 14
587 Do you think the Mayans are still checking the stats? 1.3128 0.04046 195 144 41 10
588 I hope there’s cake after this. 1.3128 0.04174 195 146 37 12
589 And those people on earth thought global warming was a problem. 1.3128 0.04046 195 144 41 10
590 Wait for the fallout. 1.3128 0.04237 195 147 35 13
591 If God gets home early we run. 1.3128 0.04046 195 144 41 10
592 Funny, I actually died at one of these, now look at me 1.3128 0.04237 195 147 35 13
593 You know what it's full of, don't you? 1.3128 0.03913 195 142 45 8
594 I'm confused—is this a bang or a whimper? 1.3128 0.04360 195 149 31 15
595 These parties would be a lot more fun if we were allowed to drink 1.3128 0.04237 195 147 35 13
596 Somehow I thought heaven would be different. 1.3128 0.04174 195 146 37 12
597 Well at least it will be quicker this time than 40 days and nights. 1.3125 0.04218 192 144 36 12
598 You know, if he hits it we will have to come up with another giant asteroid story. 1.3125 0.04282 192 145 34 13
599 I love these things! The Old Man makes 'em all the time 1.3125 0.04408 192 147 30 15
600 The last time we played pin the tail on Uranus. 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
601 He really couldn't possibly make it any worse. 1.3125 0.04218 192 144 36 12
602 Who said Republicans don't know how to have fun? 1.3125 0.04408 192 147 30 15
603 Well ,it had to end sometime... 1.3125 0.04087 192 142 40 10
604 Or,we could switch a few votes in Ohio and Michigan… 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
605 They decided upstairs that this would be more fun than the Four Horsemen scenario. 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
606 It's a metaphor, I think. 1.3125 0.04020 192 141 42 9
607 He’s auditioning to become Trump’s new EPA Administrator. 1.3125 0.04530 192 149 26 17
608 Joke's on the creationist, it's full of lava 1.3125 0.04282 192 145 34 13
609 Believe me; it's not candy that comes out. 1.3125 0.04153 192 143 38 11
610 And people think money makes the world go round. 1.3125 0.03951 192 140 44 8
611 See no evil.. 1.3125 0.04346 192 146 32 14
612 Believe me Gabriel you don’t want what’s gonna fall out. 1.3125 0.04020 192 141 42 9
613 And that's how we lost the dinosaurs 1.3125 0.04218 192 144 36 12
614 It’s mostly made of water. 1.3105 0.04436 190 146 29 15
615 That's the problem with the cross handed grip. 1.3105 0.04178 190 142 37 11
616 Any day now. 1.3105 0.04309 190 144 33 13
617 He'd better stand back cause I hear it's full of crap. 1.3105 0.04436 190 146 29 15
618 Just a few degrees higher and it’s all over. 1.3105 0.04621 190 149 23 18
619 Nothing good is going to come out of it. 1.3105 0.04309 190 144 33 13
620 I guess Karma's blind. 1.3105 0.03973 190 139 43 8
621 The last time someone hit that thing we had the Cretaceous die-off. 1.3105 0.04309 190 144 33 13
622 I gather he's never seen "It's a Wonderful Life" 1.3105 0.04111 190 141 39 10
623 He’s trying to knock some sense into them ... before it’s too late! 1.3105 0.04309 190 144 33 13
624 They thought it was bad when Atlas shrugged . . . 1.3105 0.04244 190 143 35 12
625 He can’t make it any worse. 1.3105 0.04244 190 143 35 12
626 It’s a performance piece explaining Trump’s foreign policy. 1.3105 0.04244 190 143 35 12
627 Don't worry, with everything else going on down there, they won't even notice. 1.3105 0.04111 190 141 39 10
628 We'll just say it was a meteor again. 1.3085 0.04270 188 142 34 12
629 You wouldn't believe how high I had to fly to tie the other end 1.3085 0.04270 188 142 34 12
630 The asteroid worked better. 1.3085 0.04065 188 139 40 9
631 That time we called it the Big Bang. 1.3085 0.04336 188 143 32 13
632 Do you think this is why we weren't given a halo? 1.3085 0.04135 188 140 38 10
633 So there's hot lava cake inside? 1.3085 0.04336 188 143 32 13
634 Last time, he got the dinosaurs. 1.3085 0.04270 188 142 34 12
635 We're celebrating Earth Day. 1.3085 0.04203 188 141 36 11
636 And it is filled with coal, asbestos and Necco wafers. 1.3085 0.04203 188 141 36 11
637 And they think global warming's a big deal? 1.3069 0.03906 189 138 44 7
638 Better to make it quick and painless than letting Trump drag it out. 1.3065 0.04229 186 140 35 11
639 This is the fairest way to decide where disaster strikes. 1.3065 0.04430 186 143 29 14
640 If he hits it, everyone who thinks they’re the center of the universe will fall out. 1.3065 0.04297 186 141 33 12
641 You get bonus points if you hit Trump Tower or Mar-a-lago! 1.3065 0.04495 186 144 27 15
642 Who knew the end of the world could be so random. 1.3056 0.04250 180 135 35 10
643 And, so, the world turns. 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
644 It's filled with regret. 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
645 I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out it's filled with molten iron 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
646 The only rule is not to flood it with water. 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
647 It's filled with supermarket plastic bags and plastic straws 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
648 I hear the place is going to hell. 1.3043 0.04459 184 142 28 14
649 Nice try, but Mother Nature bats last! 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
650 Remember when we killed all those dinosaurs at Reggie's birthday party 65 million years ago? 1.3043 0.04040 184 136 40 8
651 How else are you going to spend an eternity? 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
652 Watch this......it is filled with hot lava. 1.3043 0.04113 184 137 38 9
653 It's a game, right? 1.3043 0.04184 184 138 36 10
654 I heard if it breaks, the Presidency goes to Bernie. 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
655 Well, how did you think we keep in spinning? 1.3043 0.04591 184 144 24 16
656 This may be why we don’t have halos 1.3043 0.03890 184 134 44 6
657 He hasn't scored a direct hit yet, but Hawaii is definitely feeling it. 1.3043 0.04040 184 136 40 8
658 What are we celebrating? 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
659 He messed up Pangea pretty bad on his last birthday. 1.3043 0.04040 184 136 40 8
660 He was known as "Pruitt" before he arrived here. I'm told he had a real passion for this. 1.3043 0.04459 184 142 28 14
661 The Boss doesn't care when he misses, but I think if he says "Damn" once more he's outta here". 1.3043 0.04040 184 136 40 8
662 Trump taught us the game - but he plays without the blindfold. 1.3043 0.04392 184 141 30 13
663 Can he pitch? 1.3043 0.04184 184 138 36 10
664 The last time he connected, Trump won. 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
665 Looks like it's gonna be a really big bang. 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
666 Global warming. Hurricanes. Famine. If there's any candy in there, I wouldn't eat it... 1.3043 0.04459 184 142 28 14
667 Is this your first hurricane party? 1.3043 0.04324 184 140 32 12
668 God is NOT going to be happy if we break it 1.3043 0.04392 184 141 30 13
669 He's been this way since Trump was elected" 1.3043 0.04255 184 139 34 11
670 They’ll figure out the Big Bang. They just won’t know how it really happened. 1.3039 0.04157 181 135 37 9
671 If he connects, Trump can blame it on the Mexicans. 1.3039 0.04511 181 140 27 14
672 It's a non-diluvian alternative for a reboot." 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
673 Well, if he ever does connect, there's going to be hell to pay 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
674 We're nowhere near as good at this game as the people who still live there. 1.3039 0.04302 181 137 33 11
675 He's never been a people person. 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
676 In the beginning it was paradise, now it’s a tear down. 1.3039 0.04157 181 135 37 9
677 High and inside again! He's going to get sent down. 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
678 He hit it pretty good in the 2016 election. 1.3039 0.04578 181 141 25 15
679 Do you ever wonder what the better angels do at parties? 1.3039 0.04578 181 141 25 15
680 It's hopelessly infested with a virus, so we thought we'd have a little fun before we recycle it. 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
681 He’s been at it for six days. He needs to give it a rest. 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
682 'Wouldn't this make more sense if we had the capacity for irony?' 1.3039 0.04442 181 139 29 13
683 Oh, my! We can't allow a "leftie" to demolish the world! 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
684 I still think that humanity will break it before we do. 1.3039 0.04302 181 137 33 11
685 More of our Mexican traditions we can keep up, less chance Trump will try to get in. 1.3039 0.04442 181 139 29 13
686 And they think the weather change is from fossil fuels. 1.3039 0.04302 181 137 33 11
687 After the latest EPA pull backs, I'm not touching that candy! 1.3039 0.04442 181 139 29 13
688 Maybe this'll knock some sense into them. 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
689 This shouldn’t take long. It’s already cracked. 1.3039 0.04006 181 133 41 7
690 Hope he doesn't succeed. No telling what pollution we'll be exposed to. 1.3039 0.04302 181 137 33 11
691 They think those Earth quakes are random 1.3039 0.04230 181 136 35 10
692 Well, at least they won't have to suffer through global warming. 1.3039 0.04082 181 134 39 8
693 Your father said to trust your instincts, Luke. 1.3039 0.04372 181 138 31 12
694 He thinks he’s Donald Trump 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
695 Talk about catharsis. 1.3017 0.04106 179 133 38 8
696 It's a good thing one second is like a million years. 1.3017 0.04106 179 133 38 8
697 Wonder how long the chief will keep pulling it out of the way in the last second. 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
698 After the Flood Fiasco, we decided to try it this way. 1.3017 0.04401 179 137 30 12
699 Not only do they know about it, a surprising number of them are actually rooting for him. 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
700 THINGS WERE EASIER WHEN IT WAS STILL FLAT. 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
701 I think it's called Earth, or something. 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
702 If he only knew what it was filled with he wouldn't swing so hard! 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
703 I'd be surprised if anything good came out of it. 1.3017 0.04106 179 133 38 8
704 Relax. Those twits will blame it all on global warming." 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
705 Apparently this variant holds way more candy than the original flat concept. 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
706 See, I told you climate change is not caused by human activity. 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
707 I see Little Piñata Man is at it again. 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
708 God got creative with the divine retribution. 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
709 He's an anti-globalist. 1.3017 0.04541 179 139 26 14
710 Picking up the pieces is hell. 1.3017 0.04106 179 133 38 8
711 Devil's advocates aren't welcome at this party, Gabe. 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
712 Another Evangelical trying to bring on end-times 1.3017 0.04541 179 139 26 14
713 We told him if he hits it he can keep it 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
714 Well, yeah. It WAS a donkey until the 2016 election. 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
715 You think he knows it's filled with molten rock? 1.3017 0.04401 179 137 30 12
716 You think Lucifer will get in trouble for this? 1.3017 0.04401 179 137 30 12
717 I can't see how this will make Earth great again. 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
718 I can’t believe he played for the Angels! 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
719 I was hoping for Mars, better candy... 1.3017 0.04106 179 133 38 8
720 God is from Mexico. Didn't you know? 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
721 I don't know about you, but I'm not eating anything that comes out of there. 1.3017 0.03950 179 131 42 6
722 I didn’t think he’d take it literally when I told him that divine intervention is hit-and-miss. 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
723 What exactly is the theme for this party? 1.3017 0.04401 179 137 30 12
724 As if he could do anymore damage..... 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
725 So much for the moon. 1.3017 0.04541 179 139 26 14
726 You know they play the same game downstairs, just without the blindfold? There’s a metaphor in there somewhere. 1.3017 0.04181 179 134 36 9
727 Five bucks if you say' "Use the Force." 1.3017 0.04541 179 139 26 14
728 He thinks there's candy, but it's just full of idiots. 1.3017 0.04541 179 139 26 14
729 He is being traded to the Angels next season . 1.3017 0.04329 179 136 32 11
730 Looks like the Angles have no hitting again this season. 1.3017 0.04472 179 138 28 13
731 We used to use an aluminum bat, but Gabriel's first swing wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
732 Do you think he can take out Trump and Kim Jong UN with one swing. 1.3017 0.04256 179 135 34 10
733 Isn't there a less drastic way to rid the universe of Trump? 1.3000 0.04235 180 136 34 10
734 I feel like Justice would have hit it on the first swing. 1.2994 0.04430 177 136 29 12
735 Wait ‘til he finds out it’s filled with nuts. 1.2994 0.04282 177 134 33 10
736 The guy at the store promised me this brand has no intelligent life. 1.2994 0.04430 177 136 29 12
737 It's filled with sinners. 1.2994 0.04430 177 136 29 12
738 Last time we played, the dinosaurs went extinct. 1.2994 0.04130 177 132 37 8
739 Last time it was filled with Dinosaurs! 1.2994 0.04357 177 135 31 11
740 Tell Pete we’re gonna need extra staff at the Gates. 1.2994 0.04502 177 137 27 13
741 It's not what it used to be; we're thinking of doing away with the blindfold 1.2994 0.04207 177 133 35 9
742 God gave us the pinata as a sign he would never destroy the earth with water again. 1.2994 0.04282 177 134 33 10
743 He already promised He wouldn’t do the ark thing again, so we had to get creative 1.2994 0.04430 177 136 29 12
744 Imagine how bad the weather would be if he actually managed to hit the thing. 1.2994 0.04357 177 135 31 11
745 Last birthday, he cracked it open and a bunch of dinosaurs fell out. 1.2994 0.04282 177 134 33 10
746 Gonna be Hell to pay if the Boss discovers we used his creation as as a piñata 1.2994 0.04572 177 138 25 14
747 Time to let them know that they are not alone. 1.2989 0.04012 174 128 40 6
748 We started from a flat model but then we wanted to secure the edges and add more spin 1.2971 0.04154 175 131 36 8
749 That's Casey; he was smug on Earth, too. 1.2971 0.04074 175 130 38 7
750 Chariot's sweet, but he swings low. 1.2971 0.04459 175 135 28 12
751 I hear it’s filled with hate, anger, despair, and distrust. What are you hoping for? 1.2971 0.04604 175 137 24 14
752 $2 a swing... the new EPA "fundraiser"... 1.2971 0.04459 175 135 28 12
753 You should have seen what got Lucifer kicked out. 1.2971 0.04604 175 137 24 14
754 When the earth was the center of the universe this game was way easier. 1.2971 0.04459 175 135 28 12
755 With swings like that this will take an eternity. 1.2971 0.04309 175 133 32 10
756 They were way past their worst-by date, anyway. 1.2971 0.04385 175 134 30 11
757 It's just an exercise in blind faith. 1.2955 0.04212 176 133 34 9
758 Don’t sweat it. It will self destruct shortly anyway. 1.2948 0.04489 173 134 27 12
759 having promised to never again flood the Earth, God let the angels get creative. 1.2948 0.04179 173 130 35 8
760 End of life is always a hit or miss situation. 1.2948 0.04489 173 134 27 12
761 We can't do any more harm to the earth than they are doing down there. 1.2948 0.04098 173 129 37 7
762 Nobody's hit it since we stopped admitting Mexicans. 1.2948 0.04563 173 135 25 13
763 He's good, last time we played he caused 2 earthquakes and a tsunami in one shot" 1.2948 0.04414 173 133 29 11
764 If Gabriel doesn't get to go first, he acts like it's the end of the world. 1.2948 0.04098 173 129 37 7
765 This explains a lot 1.2948 0.04414 173 133 29 11
766 Michael is SO going to hell for this. 1.2948 0.04489 173 134 27 12
767 And they think an asteroid killed the dinosaurs.. 1.2948 0.04414 173 133 29 11
768 I call Hawaii. 1.2948 0.04563 173 135 25 13
769 Everyone thinks this is the best option. 1.2948 0.04179 173 130 35 8
770 Ah so it ends as it began. Not with a whimper but with a bang" 1.2948 0.04414 173 133 29 11
771 Ha! They think they have a few billion years left. 1.2948 0.04489 173 134 27 12
772 And the people who live there call it wind. When we hit it they call it an earthquake. 1.2948 0.04563 173 135 25 13
773 He hasn't got a prayer 1.2948 0.04414 173 133 29 11
774 Oh, it's full of something all right, but it ain't candy... 1.2948 0.04098 173 129 37 7
775 I can’t Wait to see how the scientists explain this one 1.2948 0.04563 173 135 25 13
776 Last week he caused an 8 on the Richter scale. 1.2948 0.04179 173 130 35 8
777 Last time he killed the dinosaurs. 1.2948 0.04337 173 132 31 10
778 Can we please unblind Justice? 1.2941 0.04466 170 131 28 11
779 That's why the odds are ten billion to one - " no one knows the day or the hour." You in? 1.2941 0.04387 170 130 30 10
780 Last time we played this, Trump won the election! 1.2941 0.04619 170 133 24 13
781 I guess this spells the end of the Meuller investigation. 1.2917 0.04167 168 126 35 7
782 At least it’s better than last year when we bowled with it. 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
783 What? You'd prefer another flood? 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
784 This is faster than fracking for them. Plus it's more fun for us! 1.2917 0.04334 168 128 31 9
785 Well, I'll be. I always though it was God bowling that caused thunder. 1.2917 0.04167 168 126 35 7
786 Don't worry. Trump will be here soon, and he can do it. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
787 After this we'll play pin-the-tail-on-Uranus. 1.2917 0.04802 168 134 19 15
788 It looks like blind is taking a swing at deaf and dumb. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
789 Donald Trump's Spirit Guide. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
790 Is this evidence of Divine Intervention,or just the Trump Effect? 1.2917 0.04728 168 133 21 14
791 In the end, it just got too difficult to deal with. 1.2917 0.04496 168 130 27 11
792 At this rate were going to be here forever 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
793 It took seven days to make that. 1.2917 0.04167 168 126 35 7
794 It was going to burn up anyway. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
795 Jupiter was too easy. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
796 Similar, but this one is called a Trumpata. 1.2917 0.04652 168 132 23 13
797 Ha! And they were all sure it would be a nuclear holocaust. 1.2917 0.04416 168 129 29 10
798 The Lord just heard that "World On A String" song and it gave him an idea. 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
799 Oh look. White guys are destroying the world. What else is new? 1.2917 0.04334 168 128 31 9
800 I've always said, "it's a small world". 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
801 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
802 Ha ha! Climate change theory, good one! 1.2917 0.04652 168 132 23 13
803 New game. Got it from Trump. It’s called diplomacy. 1.2917 0.04728 168 133 21 14
804 Yes, we are 'Angels in the Outfield'. 1.2917 0.04251 168 127 33 8
805 The last time somebody hit it, Trump was elected. 1.2917 0.04652 168 132 23 13
806 This game is way more fun than "Pin the Tail on Uranus." 1.2892 0.04362 166 127 30 9
807 It brings fairness to earthquake location. 1.2892 0.04445 166 128 28 10
808 If he hits it, all Hell will break loose. 1.2892 0.04685 166 131 22 13
809 If you hit it right on Mexico, candy comes out. But if you hit Russia, all you get are a bunch of hacked emails. 1.2892 0.04362 166 127 30 9
810 ¨This is for all of the flat-earthers out there.¨ 1.2875 0.04288 160 121 32 7
811 At least we're not pinning a real tail on a real donkey again. 1.2866 0.04475 164 127 27 10
812 Humans started asking questions, but then Dave came up with the tectonic plate thing. 1.2866 0.04217 164 124 33 7
813 That explains earthquakes. 1.2866 0.04217 164 124 33 7
814 It’s more fun than meteors. 1.2866 0.04391 164 126 29 9
815 He is just global warming up. 1.2866 0.04558 164 128 25 11
816 Frankly, I like this better than the long questionnaire" 1.2866 0.04558 164 128 25 11
817 The irony is it's empty.... 1.2866 0.04391 164 126 29 9
818 I hear the book has a different ending. 1.2866 0.04304 164 125 31 8
819 The last time it was dinosaurs - I can't wait to see what we get this time! 1.2866 0.04127 164 123 35 6
820 it was more fun when it was on Atlas' shoulders 1.2866 0.04475 164 127 27 10
821 Cheese was in their moon. What do you bet this one is only filled with hot air. 1.2866 0.04475 164 127 27 10
822 We got the idea from the G-7 conference! 1.2857 0.04530 161 125 26 10
823 Couldn't we just have candy whenever we want it? 1.2857 0.04698 161 127 22 12
824 If he hits it, all hell's gonna break loose. 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
825 It’s fair. They can’t see us either. 1.2857 0.04265 161 122 32 7
826 Whack! Seven days' work down the drain. 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
827 Stand back. If that thing breaks, all Hell's gonna break loose. 1.2857 0.04265 161 122 32 7
828 Is he practicing for an EPA interview? 1.2857 0.04530 161 125 26 10
829 Last time we played, Trump ended up President. 1.2857 0.04780 161 128 20 13
830 Better hit it soon before they blow themselves up. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
831 It ain't over 'til...well, eternity!" 1.2857 0.04698 161 127 22 12
832 I’ve heard it’s stuffed with Dum Dums. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
833 We're trying out some new entertainment ideas for members of the Trump Administration. 1.2857 0.04615 161 126 24 11
834 You cleared this up upstairs? 1.2857 0.04173 161 121 34 6
835 He just got passed over for the head of the EPA, Trump wanted someone with a better swing. 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
836 The trick is to hit it on a fault line. 1.2857 0.04530 161 125 26 10
837 It may be fun, but we have to pick up the pieces. 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
838 Let's pray they won't know what hit them. 1.2857 0.04698 161 127 22 12
839 Yeah, we had to make it round to fit the candy inside, the original is actually flat. 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
840 Next we're playing pin the tail on the comet. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
841 It was the only way to make it fair. 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
842 I take it we're not the 'better angels' Lincoln spoke about. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
843 If it weren't for this obsession of His, there would be more planets. 1.2857 0.04530 161 125 26 10
844 We should have let Babe Ruth do this. 1.2857 0.04615 161 126 24 11
845 It's how we explain global warming to conservative Christians 1.2857 0.04861 161 129 18 14
846 When he hits it, we'll all get Starbursts and MilkyWays. 1.2857 0.04265 161 122 32 7
847 Believe it or not, he was the Angels' best hitter... 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
848 I thought we were supposed to be guardians... 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
849 I’m just not sure the new Activities Director gets what we’re about here. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
850 We figure it's just faster this way. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
851 I’m worried about Gabriel, Peter. 1.2857 0.04698 161 127 22 12
852 It worked with Mars. 1.2857 0.04443 161 124 28 9
853 Bone spurs kept him out of the Bigs... 1.2857 0.04355 161 123 30 8
854 I prefer Frank Sinatra's version. 1.2848 0.04315 158 120 31 7
855 Six days to create . Three minutes to destroy . 1.2840 0.04419 162 125 28 9
856 I think if we really want to destroy it we should just elect trump again 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
857 This isn't even the biggest risk they face. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
858 4.5 billion years of this and the last time he got close was the Mesozoic era 1.2830 0.04291 159 121 31 7
859 You know if you break it you open Pandora's Box. 1.2830 0.04198 159 120 33 6
860 At times like this I choke up. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
861 You're sure they don't care what happens to it? 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
862 The newbies never win, the Boss keeps pulling up the string 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
863 When it breaks can we get a new one? 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
864 Luckily for earth his batting average is 0.071. 1.2830 0.04198 159 120 33 6
865 The Republican Party donated it in a fund-raiser." 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
866 And they thought it was about the science 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
867 Choke up, it's tilted on axis. 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
868 If any immigrants fall out they get to stay in America. 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
869 We tried mars, but the dust got EVERYWHERE 1.2830 0.04291 159 121 31 7
870 It just feels like he’s aiming for America. 1.2830 0.04732 159 126 21 12
871 I can never tell the difference between microaggression and healthy anger. 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
872 It has been a while since the last big bang. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
873 It used to be fun; now, all that falls out is plastic. 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
874 Probably dollar store candy anyway. 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
875 Cut him some slack - he was a pitcher in the American League. 1.2830 0.04291 159 121 31 7
876 Let’s just say it won’t be candy. 1.2830 0.04198 159 120 33 6
877 This game would be more fun if it didn't remind me of the Trump administration. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
878 Is this really how the dinosaurs became extinct?" 1.2830 0.04102 159 119 35 5
879 It's chock full of nuts. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
880 I think He is delegating too much. 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
881 The flat earth piñata didn't hold water, let alone candy. 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
882 The weirdest part is candy still comes out. 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
883 This is a strange way to celebrate Earth Day. 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
884 He did promise not to do the whole flood thing again 1.2830 0.04383 159 122 29 8
885 Who will Trump blame when it breaks? 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
886 All hell will break lose if he ever hits that thing . 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
887 Hell if I know. 1.2830 0.04648 159 125 23 11
888 Something tells me this won't end well. 1.2830 0.04561 159 124 25 10
889 Sure, there are Smarties and Tootsie Rolls, but mostly it is filled with trepidation. 1.2830 0.04473 159 123 27 9
890 With a miss like that, you'd think it was flat. 1.2821 0.04708 156 123 22 11
891 Any thoughts or prayers before we start? 1.2812 0.04175 160 121 33 6
892 Funny how they think global warming is a threat. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
893 That's what it always felt like, but I never realized that was what was actually happening 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
894 Gabriel is having some fun before it goes to hell. 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
895 They got tired of whack-a-mole. 1.2803 0.04593 157 123 24 10
896 I hope he nails it . . . it's gooey inside. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
897 Don't worry, they'll never know what hit them. 1.2803 0.04593 157 123 24 10
898 Bro, the humans are much better at this 'destroy the world' game 1.2803 0.04593 157 123 24 10
899 Climate change takes too long. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
900 These parties tend to fizzle after the big bang. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
901 He's not the first sightless superpower to take a swing at the whole world and miss the everything! 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
902 We can’t hit, catch, or pitch, so we’ll have to use our powers. 1.2803 0.04936 157 127 16 14
903 I bet Trump will try to keep everything for himself 1.2803 0.04681 157 124 22 11
904 First one to hit Trump wins! 1.2803 0.04768 157 125 20 12
905 The hard part is hitting it before it self explodes... 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
906 Dibs on Sweden. 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
907 He couldn't hit a ball on earth either. 1.2803 0.04768 157 125 20 12
908 They stopped appealing to our better angels 1.2803 0.04318 157 120 30 7
909 Don't blame me. I voted to let more women in. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
910 Even in Heaven he still can't hit a curve ball. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
911 Perhaps it’s time we rethink that ban on performance enhancing drugs. 1.2803 0.04593 157 123 24 10
912 This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a dum dum. 1.2803 0.04852 157 126 18 13
913 Don't the people down there realize that there are no "natural" disasters? 1.2803 0.04681 157 124 22 11
914 Maybe we should tell him about the lava inside. 1.2803 0.04681 157 124 22 11
915 The last time we played this we made Hawaii. 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
916 Now I know why he wanted the world on a string! 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
917 Remember when we thought there was global warming? 1.2803 0.04412 157 121 28 8
918 Knock the hell of it! 1.2803 0.04503 157 122 26 9
919 It has more to fear from Trump. 1.2803 0.04936 157 127 16 14
920 The shot heard round the world can't compete with this. 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
921 The dinosaurs disappeared the last time he hit it. 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
922 Can you believe it’s been about sixty six million years since the last piñata party? 1.2774 0.04148 155 117 33 5
923 And this is how the world ends. 1.2774 0.04534 155 121 25 9
924 They're both just warming up. 1.2774 0.04534 155 121 25 9
925 No rush, we got all eternity. 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
926 Rediculous, we all know REAL pinatas are flat... 1.2774 0.04626 155 122 23 10
927 If he breaks it there will be Hell to pay 1.2774 0.04803 155 124 19 12
928 This might be a major game changer. 1.2774 0.04626 155 122 23 10
929 The "Divine Intervention" theme for this year's holiday party took a dark turn. 1.2774 0.04534 155 121 25 9
930 A shower of stale hard candy and out of date chocolate is not the worst possible ending. 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
931 This was easier back when it was flat." 1.2774 0.04715 155 123 21 11
932 Don't fool with Brother Nature! 1.2774 0.04626 155 122 23 10
933 He's been swinging and missing for several millennia now." 1.2774 0.04441 155 120 27 8
934 It's been 10,000 years. Can we have cake now? 1.2774 0.04148 155 117 33 5
935 The last time he hit it we got a bunch of dinosaurs. 1.2763 0.04398 152 117 28 7
936 He apparently hated Geography. 1.2763 0.04868 152 122 18 12
937 If he gets any warmer, he's going to knock that ice cap right off the bottom--then all hell will break loose. 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
938 I know it seems unethical, but it is his birthday 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
939 We were going to fill it with candy but the ice caps kept melting into it. 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
940 Rumor is it's full of full of tears, disillusionment and Jolly Ranchers. 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
941 The sad part is, it's not even filled with candy. Just magma 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
942 It's a choice of either having some fun with it today or watching it self destruct tomorrow. 1.2763 0.04298 152 116 30 6
943 Might as well have some fun before all Hell breaks loose. 1.2763 0.04298 152 116 30 6
944 I think it’s for the best. 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
945 The challenge is to smash it before it annihilates itself. 1.2763 0.04298 152 116 30 6
946 He did much better with the Asteroid Throw a few eons ago. 1.2763 0.04398 152 117 28 7
947 Yes, I'm a bit surprised he ended up here, but I was totally shocked when he was elected President." 1.2763 0.04592 152 119 24 9
948 And the humans think a meteorite killed the dinosaurs. 1.2763 0.04398 152 117 28 7
949 We're trying to break its downward spiral. 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
950 This is how the earth rotates. 1.2763 0.04778 152 121 20 11
951 George, stop, it's breaking apart on its own. 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
952 It's quicker, more merciful this way. 1.2763 0.04686 152 120 22 10
953 He'll hit it soon. His name is Angel and he is Mexican. 1.2763 0.04686 152 120 22 10
954 Expect a lot of water. 1.2763 0.03871 152 112 38 2
955 It’s not like they can get any worse. 1.2763 0.04957 152 123 16 13
956 And on the eighth day, He LOADED it with Skittles." 1.2763 0.04496 152 118 26 8
957 This is taking longer to destroy than I would have guessed. 1.2763 0.04686 152 120 22 10
958 Maybe we should just leave it at global warming 1.2763 0.04398 152 117 28 7
959 And we thought the dinosaurs were surprised. 1.2733 0.04814 150 120 19 11
960 Last time he hit it all the dinosaurs fell off.... 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
961 Two hits, two volcanic eruptions. This guy is good. 1.2733 0.04624 150 118 23 9
962 The scouting report says he can’t hit the 70,000 mph curve ball 1.2733 0.04427 150 116 27 7
963 I liked the "pin the tail on the leader of the free world" game better. 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
964 Pin the Tail on Uranus is up next. 1.2733 0.04624 150 118 23 9
965 Don’t worry. He hasn’t made a direct hit for over 65 million years. 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
966 Couldn't he just sound the Last Trump instead? 1.2733 0.04720 150 119 21 10
967 I’ll get to meet my great-grandkids. 1.2727 0.04148 154 117 32 5
968 Can we get him a bigger bat? 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
969 Well, at least that should be enough to get hurricane season started. 1.2715 0.04299 151 116 29 6
970 So hard to do without cursing." 1.2715 0.04500 151 118 25 8
971 Great... now Heaven will be eternally stuck with all of those plastic bags and straws. 1.2715 0.04877 151 122 17 12
972 And this is how we cause earthquakes. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
973 Somehow I thought it would be more serious up here. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
974 He's going to be disappointed when all he gets is a bunch of molten lava 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
975 Huury! God's coming! 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
976 You have to strike a delicate balance between getting the orbit adjusted slightly and causing mass extinction. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
977 Each year he gets closer. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
978 It's funny really, he plays golf right handed. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
979 Next, we'll pin the tail on a comet. 1.2703 0.03906 148 110 36 2
980 Wait until he finds out there’s nothing inside. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
981 So that's what makes it go around. 1.2703 0.04134 148 112 32 4
982 Tell me again why this upsets you. 1.2703 0.04244 148 113 30 5
983 This could take forever. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
984 To them I’m told it looks like an asteroid 1.2703 0.04244 148 113 30 5
985 So this is how we get rid of those pesky dinosaurs? 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
986 And to think that the earthlings are worried about climate change. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
987 It's not cool to say, 'use the Force'. 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
988 Hey, easy on the world beater jokes. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
989 Couldn’t make it any worse. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
990 It ends not with a bang but a bash. 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
991 Do you think we should have asked God about this first? 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
992 John is hitting out of this world, as of late. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
993 He might not make Angels tryouts. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
994 I bet that they pay attention to climate change after this. 1.2703 0.04851 148 119 18 11
995 When it breaks, all the flat earthers fall out. 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
996 If he gets lucky, we'll be able to make the world great again. 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
997 Well, he's got two wings but no prayer. 1.2703 0.04244 148 113 30 5
998 If you can hit Canada and Mexico whilst leaving the US intact it triggers a bonus round. 1.2703 0.04755 148 118 20 10
999 He better hurry before they blow themselves up. 1.2703 0.04657 148 117 22 9
1000 It’s okay, all the good people were already Raptured. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1001 I hope it's not going to spray hot magma everywhere like the last one. 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
1002 When are we going to tell him it's just magma inside? 1.2703 0.04558 148 116 24 8
1003 I hate when these things just have humans inside. 1.2703 0.04456 148 115 26 7
1004 Not to worry.... it's all plastic these days. 1.2703 0.04851 148 119 18 11
1005 It's harder than it looks. But after the last really good hit, all the dinosaurs flew off. 1.2690 0.04720 145 115 21 9
1006 My favorite angel day piñata: this one has Milky Ways in it! 1.2690 0.04617 145 114 23 8
1007 Not to worry.....he has trouble with a curve. 1.2676 0.04460 142 110 26 6
1008 What's the point? It's probably all melted inside anyway. 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
1009 The goal is simple, the first one to knock the hell out of it is the winner. 1.2671 0.04589 146 115 23 8
1010 That's not what I meant when I told him to rock my world 1.2671 0.05078 146 120 13 13
1011 Can't wait to see the fall-out! 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
1012 Clarence, remember how you earned your wings? This is how you lose them. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
1013 He's never done this before, so he'll just have to wing it. 1.2671 0.04378 146 113 27 6
1014 This will be way bigger than the Big Bang. 1.2671 0.04790 146 117 19 10
1015 Nah, it won't break -- but it's amazing how fast it gets them re-focused. 1.2671 0.04485 146 114 25 7
1016 God knows what's in this one ! 1.2671 0.04790 146 117 19 10
1017 The trick is to aim straight at the San Andreas Fault. 1.2671 0.04691 146 116 21 9
1018 I’ve got dibs on the USA. 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1019 This takes place in SlowMo. On earth they are calling it "climate change." 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1020 Molten iron? This should be fun. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
1021 Sure wish God would stop pullin' on it and let the poor guy hit the dumb thing? 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1022 After all we went through to get here, it's actually quite therapeutic. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
1023 I've been waiting an eternity for my turn. 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1024 The scuttlebutt has it that the Cherubim are using corked bats. 1.2657 0.04957 143 116 16 11
1025 Every time a bells rings, an angel takes a swing! 1.2657 0.04957 143 116 16 11
1026 He's given up on free will 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1027 Maybe climate change really won't be a problem after all. 1.2657 0.04433 143 111 26 6
1028 The real reason why earthquakes happen. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
1029 whats's the point, last time he hit it the continents just moved around. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
1030 This shoulg get their attention. 1.2657 0.04650 143 113 22 8
1031 I don't know, but he says the planet is full of it. 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1032 Unfortunately, he missed the Donald Trump pinata the first time. 1.2657 0.05152 143 118 12 13
1033 How can you miss the world? 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1034 He's holding it wrong. 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1035 I still feel bad about the dinosaurs. 1.2657 0.04650 143 113 22 8
1036 I hear there's oil inside. 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1037 It's full of nuts. 1.2657 0.04650 143 113 22 8
1038 He's no Obi-wan Kenobi. 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1039 And they thought that global warming was a problem. 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1040 Jesus, you'd think after 6,000 years he'd let someone else have a swing. 1.2657 0.04433 143 111 26 6
1041 If he hits it, fly away. It is full of shit. 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1042 And God said, "wait, Christians are supporting Trump?" and asked for new alternatives to another flood. 1.2657 0.04857 143 115 18 10
1043 Beats global warming 1.2657 0.04857 143 115 18 10
1044 $5 says he hits N. Korea 1.2657 0.04433 143 111 26 6
1045 The big guy said it would be an earth shattering event. 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
1046 Can you believe he played for the Yankees for 5 seasons? 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1047 ...and the plan is to blame this on Kevin, right? 1.2657 0.04754 143 114 20 9
1048 Rapture? Seems it's going to be more like a rupture to me. 1.2657 0.04957 143 116 16 11
1049 The guy upstairs who pulls the string just laughs and laughs. 1.2657 0.04320 143 110 28 5
1050 We call it "Rapture Ball". 1.2628 0.04428 137 106 26 5
1051 I heard his batting average is out of this world. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1052 I hope the four horsemen remember to bring the pizza. 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1053 You know the saying: Spare the rod, spoil the planet.' 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1054 Apparently this is how he passed time at the EPA? 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1055 No, this is it. Budget cutbacks. 1.2624 0.04997 141 115 15 11
1056 It’s been five billion years...when will he give up? 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1057 I thought he had the whole world in his hands? 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1058 I feel like this could last an eternity. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1059 At this rate, it will take 7 days to break it. 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1060 The bouncy castle was booked for Eternity. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1061 Are you sure this is how to start a Big Bang? 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1062 Trump's right: global warming isn't the real threat to the planet. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1063 Another Flat Earth Society member? 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1064 Thank God he's not on our softball team. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1065 We call this game 'Trumping'" 1.2624 0.05097 141 116 13 12
1066 This is going to piss off a lot of people! 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1067 This is why he’s always picked last for softball. 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1068 You can stop. They’ve got a guy down there now who tweets instead and never misses. 1.2624 0.04895 141 114 17 10
1069 The winner gets a face full of magma. It's so awesome. 1.2624 0.04895 141 114 17 10
1070 To have a real chance of cracking it, you have to hit the San Andreas Fault 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1071 I thought we were gonna play 'Spin the Globe' instead. 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1072 Personally, I’ve always preferred Pin the Tail on Satan. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1073 I'll mention your tetherball suggestion. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1074 On earth, it was the umpires who were blind. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1075 Maybe we should lose the blindfold. 1.2624 0.04574 141 111 23 7
1076 This is so much more fun than the dice that the big boss plays! 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1077 Wait until you see what comes out of this one! 1.2624 0.04574 141 111 23 7
1078 Tell me again why the blindfold is necessary? 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1079 No good will come out of this. 1.2624 0.04346 141 109 27 5
1080 Should we tell them the truth about earthquakes? 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1081 Looks like the boss has finally had it with climate change deniers 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1082 Hopefully,​ this won't take too long, last week we did Pluto.​ 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1083 You can have the righteous people, they stick to my dental work. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1084 It's probably empty again; but it keeps him hoping for the best" 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1085 Last time we played this game Trump was elected. 1.2624 0.04895 141 114 17 10
1086 Wait until you see who we are pinning the tail on. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1087 Don't get too excited. Nothing good comes out of it. 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1088 I wouldn't worry. He played for the Mets!! 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1089 He's doing his Donald Trump impression. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1090 Remember what he did to Pluto. 1.2624 0.04107 141 107 31 3
1091 We're not the better angels. 1.2624 0.04574 141 111 23 7
1092 If he hits France, it's bonbons. If he hits the US, it's Skitttles. 1.2624 0.04107 141 107 31 3
1093 It’s hardly Earth shattering news that God loves a piñata party. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1094 Won’t he be surprised — it’s filled with suckers. 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1095 He failed to destroy it when he was alive. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1096 What do you think the boss has in mind with these exercises? 1.2624 0.04683 141 112 21 8
1097 What? You thought those disasters were all natural? 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1098 Yes, Earth, as we know it, is about to end - but what about those emails!?! 1.2624 0.04574 141 111 23 7
1099 Who cleans up the mess after he hits it? You miss the point. He is cleaning the mess. 1.2624 0.04790 141 113 19 9
1100 It's how he celebrates Earth Day. 1.2624 0.04895 141 114 17 10
1101 This is how we do quantum indeterminacy. 1.2624 0.04461 141 110 25 6
1102 All I got for my birthday was this lousy robe. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1103 Its been 4.5 billion years, you'd think he'd give someone else a try. 1.2609 0.04747 138 110 20 8
1104 We could be here forever. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1105 They don’t really need any help. 1.2609 0.04747 138 110 20 8
1106 So, this is how it ends? 1.2609 0.04965 138 112 16 10
1107 The last time, all we got were dinosaurs. 1.2609 0.04279 138 106 28 4
1108 The last time somebody actually hit it, there were dinosaurs all over the place. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
1109 We're going to need a bigger bat 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1110 It's the only piñata we've got, let's not waste it. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1111 After this, they will be serving cake, angel food, of course. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1112 Make it fast. He's coming. 1.2609 0.04857 138 111 18 9
1113 I thought an Earth Day cake would be easier, but I couldn't find a baker. 1.2609 0.04747 138 110 20 8
1114 He's been reading Revelations again 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1115 Wait for the look on his face when all the garbage spills out. 1.2609 0.04519 138 108 24 6
1116 Five more minutes and I'm going Old Testament on that thing. 1.2609 0.04635 138 109 22 7
1117 This is going to make a big bang. 1.2606 0.04320 142 110 27 5
1118 If he only knew what he was missing. 1.2606 0.04654 142 113 21 8
1119 Some how I didn't picture the apocalypse playing out this way. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1120 Gabriel is better with the horn. 1.2574 0.05005 136 111 15 10
1121 Swings like a cherub. 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1122 Didn’t anyone tell him it’s love that makes the world go round? 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1123 Apparently, on the 8th day he filled it with candy. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1124 It works better than meditation. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1125 He looks more like a Met than an Angel. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1126 It worked with the dinosaurs. 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1127 And they’re so worried about climate change. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1128 Wait. Why does Comey get another swing? 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1129 Only In New York 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1130 Think he'll hit it before it falls apart on it's own?" 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1131 I think he needs a bigger target. How about Jupiter? 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1132 Ten bucks if he hits Tel Aviv. 1.2574 0.04895 136 110 17 9
1133 We used to have water balloon fights, but that caused a flood of complaints. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1134 He needs to be more patient... that was high and inside. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1135 I hope we didn’t get another empty one. 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1136 Does he realise that it's just filled with people? 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1137 Were you praying for him to hit or miss? 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1138 I think he'll be disappointed that it's filled with smog and outstanding debt. 1.2574 0.04895 136 110 17 9
1139 Get ready to scramble when all hell breaks loose. 1.2574 0.04895 136 110 17 9
1140 The Rapture isn't what they think it is. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1141 It's been long enough, I think it's time we tell him to swing a bit to the left. 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1142 Okay. We’ll give you Big Bang. 1.2574 0.04895 136 110 17 9
1143 Funny to think they're just one swing away from Armageddon. 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1144 They don't realize that climate change is not the worst thing that can happen. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1145 I think he gets three strikes, Father, son and, well, you know. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1146 What are we going to do when we run out of planets? 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1147 The last time he connected was about 65 million years ago. And we managed to convince the current inhabitants it was an asteroid. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1148 Little does he know, there’s nothing inside but 40 lbs of plastic bags. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1149 The lefties always have a problem with this. They are too caring. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1150 One thing I know--the people of that planet don't need help destroying it. 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1151 And THAT is what makes the world go 'round! 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1152 You were an Existentialist before, right? 1.2574 0.04895 136 110 17 9
1153 He used to work for the EPA. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1154 Nah, this guy's been at it for years. I say global warming gets 'em first. 1.2574 0.04782 136 109 19 8
1155 Shoulda made it flat. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1156 We let them get it out of their system the first few days. 1.2574 0.04428 136 106 25 5
1157 I can't wait to see what's in it. 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1158 I have a bad feeling about this! 1.2574 0.04549 136 107 23 6
1159 so much for omniscience. 1.2574 0.04667 136 108 21 7
1160 I said it might be time to take a swing "by" Earth 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1161 It would be apocalyptic if he were ever to hit it. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1162 This oughta shake things up. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1163 Last time he did this Trump got elected. 1.2537 0.04327 134 104 26 4
1164 He told us to stop. They're doing it themselves down there. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1165 What's inside? Mostly suckers. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1166 The Real 'Angels in the Outfield.' 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1167 It's Trump's new reality show. 1.2537 0.05046 134 110 14 10
1168 I would guess it's 70% plastic & 30% styrofoam. 1.2537 0.04327 134 104 26 4
1169 Trump makes it look so easy.... 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1170 Tryouts to head the heavenly EPA 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1171 It was just a trial balloon anyway 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1172 If only they knew what a "hole in the ozone layer" actually meant. 1.2537 0.04933 134 109 16 9
1173 One of these days he's not gonna miss 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1174 Do you think this is what He meant by The Piñacolypse? 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1175 This is going to drive all the Meteorologists crazy. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1176 ...and they worry about meteors! 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1177 We used to take better care of it, but if THEY won't why should WE? 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1178 The store was out of piñatas so we had to improvise 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1179 Watch out a bunch of stupid people are about to fall out. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1180 Good news for them is he hits like the Mets’ offense. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1181 I just hope the prize isn't humans again. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1182 He actually only hits it once every billion years or so. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1183 Lord knows you put a righty batter against a left spinning earth. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1184 This beats seeing how many can fit on the head of a pin. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1185 You should have used Jupiter. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1186 Knock the hell out of it. It's full of sinners! 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1187 Wings, yes; Jedi powers, no. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1188 He always did think he had the world on a string 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1189 It's a metaphor. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1190 God told him to beat the hell out of it. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1191 Three strikes and Earth is out 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1192 Personally, I prefer the nuclear option. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1193 He's getting warmer. 1.2537 0.04933 134 109 16 9
1194 He's been at it for over four-and-a-half billion years--let's just take off the blindfold and get it over with. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1195 Are they still down there singing He's got the whole world in His hands? 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1196 It used to be a lot easier to hit the icecaps. 1.2537 0.05046 134 110 14 10
1197 That was some hit on Hawaii! 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1198 Is this.....is this cultural appropriation? 1.2537 0.04060 134 102 30 2
1199 Fortunately for the Earth, he's a Baltimore Oriole. 1.2537 0.04933 134 109 16 9
1200 He wants to change the world. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1201 I love these apocalypse parties. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1202 We can't hurt it anymore then they are. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1203 Wait, where did you hang that thing from? 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1204 Not to worry. Other than Mike Trout, the Angels can’t hit. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1205 The blindfold became mandatory after we lost the dinosaurs. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1206 I'm guessing some earthly delights are inside. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1207 Are you sure God said it was OK to do this? 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1208 It's absolutely stuffed with garbage and ideologues 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1209 No, Gary. The real Earth is much bigger. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1210 Ignore the screams 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1211 He’s got the world on a string and he still can’t see it! 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1212 If God finds out, tell him it was Lucifer’s idea. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1213 No one here is allergic to nuts, right? 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1214 Ever wondered why bad things happen to good people? 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1215 I hope that a hundred little dictators don't come falling out. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1216 Yeesh. One of us really ought to go summon our better angels. 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1217 I just think we're better than this. 1.2537 0.04700 134 107 20 7
1218 We could be here for eternity." 1.2537 0.04579 134 106 22 6
1219 If he hits it we get stuck with Republicans. 1.2537 0.04818 134 108 18 8
1220 Prayer works, but it's all pretty random, actually. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1221 The end is near. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1222 Remember when Gary nailed it with a solid whack and the dinosaurs went extinct? 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
1223 It's a dramatization of human influence on earth... 1.2519 0.04888 131 106 17 8
1224 I bet two-thirds of the candy is salt water taffy. 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1225 End of life on Earth, sure, but somebody needs to get that candy. 1.2519 0.04888 131 106 17 8
1226 No real need to expedite the process. Let them do it themselves. 1.2519 0.05007 131 107 15 9
1227 It beats watching climate change. 1.2519 0.04381 131 102 25 4
1228 Your getting warm. 1.2519 0.04766 131 105 19 7
1229 There ought to be a better way to earn your wings. 1.2519 0.04513 131 103 23 5
1230 That’s trumps new Secretary of State ! 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1231 His first hit was Hawaii, but it was only a crack. 1.2519 0.04381 131 102 25 4
1232 and they still think it's global warming 1.2519 0.04641 131 104 21 6
1233 It's his birthday, The old man said give him what he wants. 1.2519 0.04299 135 105 26 4
1234 Our decent and honest pitches do not seem to be able to overcome the bat out of hell 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1235 If he connects, I’m not cleaning up the mess. 1.2500 0.04437 128 100 24 4
1236 Now you know why his batting average sucked when he played for the real Angels. 1.2481 0.04801 129 104 18 7
1237 The core is so hot that the candy will be gooey, I just know it. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1238 Let's hope something good comes out of it. 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1239 A bad party's not the end of the world. 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1240 Fire and ice, earthquakes and floods—Piñata Stick of the Angels was totally off their radar. 1.2462 0.04511 130 103 22 5
1241 Of course it's funny, but what if he actually hits it? 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1242 We figured the world was going to end anyway. 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
1243 So if he connects, we’re only supposed to gather up the raptured ones, right? And we let the others fall below? 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1244 It’s only a good metaphor if he lands one. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1245 Gabriel's batting average tanked after the Big Man got soft post-Old Testament and made him start wearing that blindfold. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1246 This game is called "Divine Intervention" 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1247 And yet another Secretary of State." 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
1248 They're expecting it. 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1249 So, an 'act of GOD' is not really an ACT-OF-GOD? 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1250 My favorite is pin the tail on the comet. 1.2462 0.05012 130 107 14 9
1251 Yes, He did say He'd never destroy the earth again -- with a flood. But the agreement did not cover using it as a pinata! 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1252 He missed again. Trump stays. 1.2462 0.04511 130 103 22 5
1253 World peace - take a whack at it! 1.2462 0.05012 130 107 14 9
1254 The Master thought that one blind-folded angel couldn't mess up the world more than one egocentric world leader. 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
1255 Nothing good will come out of this. 1.2462 0.04511 130 103 22 5
1256 What the hell is Donald doing now? 1.2462 0.05012 130 107 14 9
1257 So that's how they came up with the Big Bang Theory. 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1258 If you think this is bad, you should see what we're doing with the real Earth. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1259 65 million years! He's had his turn! 1.2462 0.04377 130 102 24 4
1260 When you break it open nowadays, fracking sand goes all over the place. 1.2462 0.04768 130 105 18 7
1261 Trump would call this diplomacy. 1.2462 0.04641 130 104 20 6
1262 All I got for my birthday was Saturn Ring Toss. 1.2462 0.04891 130 106 16 8
1263 So much for World Peace... 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1264 They'll never suspect it's us 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1265 No earthly good can come of this exercise. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1266 If filled it with thoughts and prayers. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1267 You'd think that he could bat a thousand up here. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1268 Yes, god is vengeful, but this guy is the worst. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1269 You'd think after 4.5 billion years he would have hit it by now 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1270 It’s a tradition that started with The Big Bang. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1271 You say he was once a climate change denier? 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1272 A world with end. Amen. 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1273 He claims it was a popular party game at the E.P.A. 1.2441 0.05088 127 105 13 9
1274 I mean, he's hit America like-non-stop since '17. Nobody's THAT good... 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1275 Remember what happened to the dinosaurs the last time he actually made contact? 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1276 Well, so much for the better angels of our nature. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1277 Come on... no one has hit that thing in 65 million years! 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1278 What in the world...will come out of there? 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1279 And on the eighth day He partied. 1.2441 0.05088 127 105 13 9
1280 Aren’t there bedbugs on that thing? 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1281 He told us floods hadn't "proved effective." 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1282 The suspense is killing them. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1283 We should stand back. It’s full of shit. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1284 We were going to do paintball, but the old man put six days into it. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1285 This is God's last swing at world peace. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1286 It's filled with egocentric people. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1287 Those damn melting ice caps are making it too slippery 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1288 If he hits a magnitude 10, i'm getting a transfer... 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1289 He struck out a lot during Existentialism" 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1290 I think of it more as a coup de grace. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1291 The last time we played this game was 65 million years ago. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1292 That explains the reports we’ve been getting of heavy wind gusts in Chicago 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1293 If the Earth isn't flat now, it sure will be when she's through with it! 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1294 Doesn't he know what's in the middle of that thing? 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1295 He’s still very bitter about the whole Trump thing. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1296 Ten points if you hit the San Andreas. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1297 I Dunno. I always imagined logic playing a larger part. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1298 I understand he was with the Trump Administration. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1299 Sorry to say, it's not love that makes the world go round. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1300 The games were more fun when Obama was president. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1301 It's broken already. He just can't see it. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1302 The Daily News Cycle 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1303 Against our better angels. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1304 He says it's cathartic. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1305 Looks like I'm not the only one frustrated with how things are going. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1306 And they worry about climate change. If they only knew. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1307 So, this is how the world ends? 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1308 Happy Earth Day 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1309 I’ve heard of Atlas Shrugged, but this is ridiculous. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1310 Should we tell him it's not full of candy? 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1311 With a little divine intervention, he might hit Washington, D.C. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1312 Rumors say this year it's full of nuts. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1313 We always start them off in tee ball. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1314 A pinata?! I thought He was going to use fire the next time they screwed up. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1315 Silly me, I thought earthquakes were acts of Nature. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1316 According to Revelations, he should have hit it by now. 1.2441 0.04289 127 99 25 3
1317 Ever since November 8, 2016 he’s been getting closer and closer. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1318 Gabriel is taking this flat earth debate a bit too far. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1319 The candy's probably all melted anyhow. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1320 Planet Pinata is actually the real cause of climate change. We need to leak this somehow to the White House. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1321 He was getting bored and this definitely beats the dreidel. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1322 They were out of regular piñatas. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1323 Now there's only one moon. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1324 Of course there's no candy inside. But they're so much nicer to each other for a few weeks after one of us gets a hit. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1325 He hits it, all “Hell” breaks loose. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1326 When I heard "God doesn't play dice," this isn't exactly what I imagined. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1327 Extra bonus points for hitting the San Andreas fault 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1328 He'll never get it. We're waiting for the Big Guy. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1329 When he taps it, and a little lava comes out like that, it makes me wonder if we should really be playing this. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1330 He'd better hurry before it self-destructs. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1331 No one has the heart to tell him what’s really inside. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1332 And they think that anything they do matters. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1333 Bet Trump destroys it before Gabe! 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1334 We're just hastening the inevitable. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1335 Hey, If you have a better activity until they fix the cable i'm all ears. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1336 WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHAT TOOK THE RAPTURE SO LONG, IT'S BECAUSE WE HAVE TERRIBLE AIM. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1337 Copernicus wasn’t even close. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1338 Tsunami or earthquake? 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1339 They're used to it - call it "God's Will." 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1340 The mortals are trashing it anyway, so why not? 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1341 St. Peter really went with a dark theme for his party. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1342 After the Republicans took over, they privatized the place. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1343 It was this or Whack-A-Mole. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1344 They had plenty of opportunity to get it right. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1345 They say his son is now president. 1.2441 0.05210 127 106 11 10
1346 Trust me, you don't want what's inside it. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1347 We'll always have Mars. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1348 And that's how we make hurricanes. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1349 If it doesn't stop spinning, he'll never hit it. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1350 Looks like Uriel plays for the Mets, not the Angels. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1351 Don't worry. They'll blame North Korea. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1352 I hope it's filled with gummy worms. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1353 All we know for sure is it’s not candy!! 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1354 So .... God does have a sense of humor. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1355 Don't expect candy anytime soon. He hasn't come close in 4 billion years. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1356 This kind of behavior would not be acceptable in the Old Testament. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1357 Sometimes I can't look, either. 1.2441 0.04964 127 104 15 8
1358 Hey, it's a Mexican tradition. He's only allowed to hit it south of The Wall. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1359 He's a cinch to get sent down. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1360 Won't they think God's angry about the gays again? 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1361 Pyroclastic flow at Fuego? That's nothing. My welcome party caused Pangea to divide. 1.2441 0.04706 127 102 19 6
1362 No candy, just magma. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1363 I hear the Boss has $20 on the humans destroying it first. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1364 Try to put your wings into it this time" 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1365 Candies? Molten lava? Honestly, I don't know. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1366 I believe I am ready now to ascend past whack-a- planet 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1367 And that's how he broke the crust of this chocolate ball into five continents" 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1368 I don’t care if we are angels. This company picnic stinks. 1.2441 0.04432 127 100 23 4
1369 There's nothing inside. God was just done with it. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
1370 Don't get too excited. Even if he breaks it, the candy inside is over four billion years old. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1371 He better hurry up or it's going to explode on its own. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
1372 Don’t worry, he’s had a few too many Bloody Hail Marys to actually hit it. 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
1373 We call this game "The Apocalypse." 1.2419 0.04490 124 98 22 4
1374 Where's Jesus? It's HIS birthday. 1.2419 0.05040 124 102 14 8
1375 For some, breaking it is therapeutic. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1376 Nothing sweet is coming out of that. 1.2419 0.04341 124 97 24 3
1377 I thought God's flood trick was more effective.... 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1378 God wanted something quicker and more festive than global warming. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1379 Everything he learned about batting he got from the Mets. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1380 Be careful what you swish for. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1381 If he misses it, you know who gets elected in again in 2020. 1.2419 0.05168 124 103 12 9
1382 El Niño is terrible at this. 1.2419 0.04908 124 101 16 7
1383 It's been over four billion years - when's it our turn? 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1384 That's why he was never drafted 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1385 At this rate, we'll be waiting an eternity. 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1386 If he hits this one out of the park we could have some overcrowding issues." 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1387 So that's what causes earthquakes 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1388 I miss Earth a lot, too 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1389 If you don't get it on the first few tries, the humans end up destroying it themselves. 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
1390 Hark! The herald angels swing...fa la la la...la la la la... 1.2400 0.04873 125 102 16 7
1391 We don't let Lucifer play. He peeks. 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
1392 There goes Geology 101. 1.2400 0.04738 125 101 18 6
1393 It gives new meaning to fate, doesn't it? 1.2400 0.04311 125 98 24 3
1394 He always thinks the world revolves around him. 1.2381 0.04567 126 101 20 5
1395 He said he wants to make Earth great again. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1396 When we told him that Trump's in charge, he started to swing harder and more often. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1397 I've heard some pretty crazy interpretations of Revelations over the millennia, but this one takes the cake. 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1398 That's how bad things happen to good people. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1399 He's from the EPA. Give him time. 1.2377 0.05081 122 101 13 8
1400 We told him it was Pluto. 1.2377 0.05081 122 101 13 8
1401 I prefer dice. 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1402 Dont worry, they’ll blame it on global warming 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1403 Hope it’s less messy than Uranus! 1.2377 0.05081 122 101 13 8
1404 For God so loved the world... but Fred sure doesn't. 1.2377 0.05081 122 101 13 8
1405 Remember a couple of years ago when you gave them Trump? 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1406 So far, he's 0 for 10,000,000,001 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1407 I don't know why he's trying so hard, I hear it's mostly water. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1408 Is this what they call fracking? 1.2377 0.05212 122 102 11 9
1409 Does he have any idea that thing is full of crude oil and methane? 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1410 Just a few more whacks should get it back in orbit" he said 1.2377 0.04516 122 97 21 4
1411 The country he hits will determine who Trump tweets about tomorrow. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1412 The last time we played this game, Michael wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1413 Be careful, this guy always throws the bat. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1414 Owns the cattle on a thousand hills but apparently only one party game. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1415 I hate these Armageddon parties. 1.2377 0.05081 122 101 13 8
1416 It has something to do with the next presidential election... 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1417 Mercury must be in retrograde. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1418 I hope he smacks the Hell out of that thing. 1.2377 0.05212 122 102 11 9
1419 What with the temperature and all, the candy will be all melted. 1.2377 0.04946 122 100 15 7
1420 Relax. It’s just a problem-solving exercise. 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
1421 I’m betting Germany. Again. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1422 We thought this seemed like a lot more fun than just waiting around for nuclear annihilation 1.2362 0.03946 127 98 28 1
1423 ........and this is your Old Testament section . 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
1424 Mercury was too small, and Venus too hot. And Saturn was just all kinds of wrong. 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1425 I tried to use a rock, but all it did was wipe out the dinosaurs. 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
1426 What should it be this time? Tidal wave? 1.2358 0.04630 123 99 19 5
1427 Waste of energy: it'll blow up by itself soon. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1428 sardonic angel mocking Trump’s foreign policy! 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
1429 Better to make a game out of it than watch it destroy itself on it's own. 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1430 His birthday doesn't even line up with the apocalypse 1.2358 0.04771 123 100 17 6
1431 You want climate change? I’ll show you climate change! 1.2358 0.04909 123 101 15 7
1432 They think it's global warming. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1433 I don't know which is sadder, him flailing at it for the past seven hundred years, or me watching the whole time. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
1434 He still thinks the world is flat. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1435 I'm surprised he's having such a hell of a time. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1436 Aethelwold is the Patron Saint of the unfeasibly uncoordinated. 1.2353 0.05162 119 99 12 8
1437 Fire and brimstone was no fun. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1438 So much for divine intervention. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1439 I wonder what the flat earth crowd will think of this? 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1440 Every rime a bell rings, an angel gets his swings. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1441 You know this is how the dinosaurs went extinct. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1442 I think he’s more suited for the Mets 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1443 The doomsday’ clock is at 11:55; you’ve got five minutes to finish it off 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1444 We replaced the flap of a butterfly's wing to send a message. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
1445 St. Louis is in a slump. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1446 The beatings will continue until morality improves. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1447 This is how mountains and valleys are made. 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1448 It's only a game if you believe its a game 1.2353 0.04418 119 94 22 3
1449 Don’t get your hopes up. It’s filled with coal and oil.” 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1450 Centuries ago we did it the old way. No blindfolds. A good aim really got you hell on earth. 1.2353 0.03905 119 91 28 0
1451 Just candy. He's a loving God, remember? 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1452 Cultural appropriation. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1453 OMG! It was a ‘Big Bang’ 1.2353 0.05162 119 99 12 8
1454 Shoo, ozone layer...shoo! 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1455 we're all gonna miss the Earth soon... 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1456 He can totally see through that blindfold. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1457 I hear Trump is doing the same thing on Earth. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1458 We used to play ring toss with Saturn. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1459 Remember when you said cultural appropriation wasn’t the end of the world? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1460 I haven't the heart to tell him it's just empty inside. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1461 Testing Testing 1, 2, 3. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1462 Every time Trump rings that Diet Coke bell, an angel gets a swing. 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1463 How's this Big Bang for ya!? 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1464 No ones managed to hit it in 4 billion years... 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1465 Vlad you're next after Donald gets one more swing 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1466 You mean He just made that part up about the battle between the good and bad angels? 1.2353 0.04254 119 93 24 2
1467 It's fun when the magma spills out. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1468 Boy is he in for a surprise. If he smashes the globe, he gets to be the Angel of Death. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1469 Someone hits it every four years at election time. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1470 And they were worried about climate change. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1471 Michael's left handed? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1472 He gets another pair of wings if he can smack Washington, D.C., off the globe. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
1473 The Donald's" guardian angel- why 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1474 Mass Extinction Events and St Matthews birthday: A Correlation. 1.2353 0.05022 119 98 14 7
1475 So, all that stuff in the Book of Revelations was really just a cover story for this little shindig? 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1476 Back on earth, they blame global warming. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
1477 Technically, the odds for any swing connecting are the same. But he's missed now for 4 billion years. 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
1478 I’d feel better about this if one of us was Mexican. 1.2339 0.04873 124 102 15 7
1479 Lucifer, you gave Samael another shot of tequila, didn’t you? 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1480 It’s pretty hard to hit only Trump with the blindfold on, but I think he’s peeking! 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1481 He didn't care for life on Earth 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1482 This game only really took off around November 2016 1.2339 0.04873 124 102 15 7
1483 I'm saving myself for 'Pin The Tail on The Donald'. 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1484 You're thaying what they taught us in the fifth grade about the origin of tornados was a myth. What will a hit be? 1.2339 0.05006 124 103 13 8
1485 Used to filled with truffles, now it's all spam. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1486 Does it matter? The world has already gone to pieces. 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1487 Trump Towers are worth a free turn. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1488 On earth, this is call tectonic shift. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1489 My bet was on Global Warming to destroy Earth. 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1490 I wanted to get one of those Trump heads, but hellzapoppin right now, and they were all sold out. 1.2339 0.05006 124 103 13 8
1491 We can't even ACCIDENTALLY destroy Earth... 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
1492 I wonder how many hits this thing can take before it's all over. 1.2339 0.04596 124 100 19 5
1493 No one can hit the screwball. 1.2339 0.04737 124 101 17 6
1494 Doubt there's anything good in this one. 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
1495 I hope it’s not all dinosaurs like last time. 1.2333 0.04386 120 95 22 3
1496 I thought a trumpet blast would start this off. 1.2333 0.04984 120 99 14 7
1497 Oh right, it's hurricane season again... 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1498 We have prayed and prayed, now we are just going to wing it. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1499 C’mon, there are plenty of planets if we lose this one... 1.2320 0.04969 125 104 13 8
1500 NOW can you see the problem with cultural appropriation? 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1501 Oh. Dios. Mío. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1502 Who the hell gave Trump wings? 1.2320 0.04969 125 104 13 8
1503 He’s just messing with them. They don’t believe in climate change and science. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1504 Are you sure this is the best way to deactivate Donald Trump's Twitter account?" 1.2320 0.05097 125 105 11 9
1505 You're only saying that because someone else is enjoying it. 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
1506 Just one more good whack should do it. 1.2320 0.04837 125 103 15 7
1507 You don't want to know what it's full of. 1.2320 0.04969 125 104 13 8
1508 It will be tough to top those Mars candies. 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
1509 It's supposed to be random, but since November 2016 we keep whacking it in Washington DC. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1510 He's going to be REALLY disappointed when he finds out what's inside that thing 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1511 Gee, I wish he would hurry up. It seems like we've been waiting forever.. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1512 I wish he would swing a little lower: Tump is in South America this week. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1513 Last time we hit it, water went everywhere. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1514 And they think climate change is the problem. 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1515 But I heard earth was flat. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1516 You can read how to make one in the genesis book. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1517 Isn't it ironic, on Earth he was a member of the Flat Earth Society. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1518 What’s it filled with?” “Hate. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
1519 Yeah, but for my birthday He got me a gift card. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1520 I guess God doesn’t play dice. 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1521 Until recent events, I never heard God say that she had a birthday. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1522 He set a record for strike-outs in 2017 too. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1523 ...But I guess the other guy has a much bigger stick, and his works! 1.2308 0.04272 117 92 23 2
1524 He knows it's filled with magma, right? 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1525 The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. Soon, I hope. 1.2308 0.04761 117 95 17 5
1526 He was a polluter. He'll be swinging away for eternity. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1527 Who's minding the gates? 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1528 "In the last couple of years, he's getting closer and closer. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
1529 He was the only Leftist that's made it here so far." 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1530 What’s “The Force”? 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1531 What a bummer. Even up here it's a piñata instead of paintball. 1.2308 0.05205 117 98 11 8
1532 Every time an extraction industry CEO tithes a million bucks to the church, we take another swing. 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1533 Watch it. The last time he lost we got Trump. 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1534 End of world" delayed on more time 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1535 We had a really fantastic meeting. A lot of progress. Really very positive. I think better than anyone could have expected. Top of the line. Really good. 1.2308 0.05061 117 97 13 7
1536 Humans still think it's global warming! 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1537 Can it get any worse? 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1538 Ten points for Gryffindor if you hit Antarctica 1.2308 0.04914 117 96 15 6
1539 What were you expecting, charades? 1.2308 0.05345 117 99 9 9
1540 Well I guess you could say it isn’t ENTIRELY random. 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
1541 Yeah, the big guy calls it a "siñata," thinks it's HILARIOUS. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
1542 This game's not much fun, but next we'll play "Pin the tail on Uranus." 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1543 I thought the Apocalypse would be much more...definitive. 1.2288 0.04876 118 97 15 6
1544 Wanna go to the party in Hell? I hear they have a dunk tank. 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1545 I thought it would be nukes. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1546 It really needs a good whack! 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1547 So, ah, you still think this will send the message or should we try something a bit more direct... 1.2288 0.04569 118 95 19 4
1548 Of course it is a Piñata! 1.2288 0.04876 118 97 15 6
1549 We do this every fall. They think it’s just hurricane season. 1.2288 0.04240 118 93 23 2
1550 Yeah, but this is FAKE heaven. Apparently he negotiated a deal with the devil to "take a whack at the universe." You voted for him, too? 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1551 If you think this looks fun, wait until we pin the tail on the comet. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
1552 If it was only a game. 1.2288 0.05164 118 99 11 8
1553 He's going to be real disappointed when all he finds is garbage. 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
1554 Why are we all white? Seem like just more Pin Yadda Yadda Yadda. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1555 It doesn't look that tough, but trust me, something that flat and spinning is hard to hit. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
1556 There’s our ringer. He was whack a mole champion three years straight. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1557 They call them 'earth quakes' 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1558 If he misses West Virginia do we still get the candy? 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1559 His brother plays hockey for the Devils. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1560 For God's sake, just adopt the designated hitter already. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1561 If anyone asks, just blame it on San Francisco 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1562 He's definitely not Dominican! 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1563 I've never been to one of these. But, they say the treats are heavenly. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1564 Lucifer, show God that you can rule Earth. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1565 Heh, Heh - They think it's global warming 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1566 Just be thankful you're not in hell, where you would be the piñata. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1567 Scott Pruitt gets the last swing. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1568 It's filled with the milky way. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1569 time for a little tough love" 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1570 St. Peter decided to change the stakes. Three strikes, a trap door opens, and, well, you know. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1571 Watch, we're going to lower it so he hits Saint Ralph in the crotch. It will be great on YouTube. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1572 We wanted a clown, but they were both in Singapore for a big meeting. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1573 And, they still wonder what happened to the dinosaurs. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1574 All I’m saying is I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces this time. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1575 I just hope that it isn't full of deplorables. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1576 This always ends badly 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
1577 Yeah, every Cinco de Mayo. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1578 Missed again!! Doesn’t matter... they will destroy it themselves. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1579 Should we tell him to give up? It's made of plastic and nearly impossible to break apart. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1580 Earth is safe. He whiffed on Jupiter. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1581 You gotta admit it's a bit more direct than climate change. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1582 The last time he connected was Nov 2016 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1583 Not to worry. In life he played for the Mets. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1584 This is so boring... All he's done is put a few holes in the ozone. 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1585 When He's really upset, bowling. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1586 I always said he had a limited world view!" 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1587 It was Donald's idea. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1588 Well, it can’t get any worse. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1589 Thankfully, it has a flaky crust. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1590 You swing like a girl! 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1591 This explains Trumps foreign policy! 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1592 I always thought there was something strange about Lucifer. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1593 It's the President's solution to global warming. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1594 Last time he hit it out of orbit. 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1595 Well that shoots Newton’s theory. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1596 What happened to our standards? Scott Pruitt in Heaven? 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1597 That's why we call him "hurricane." 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
1598 He's been at it for a millenniums, I'm starting to suspect divine intervention. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1599 We have to change the rules...strike "infinity" slows the game down. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1600 It's a pretty tough nut to crack, but I heard there are internal problems weakening its structural and spiritual integrity. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1601 Just wait until Trump gets up. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1602 Don't blame me. I voted for pin-the-tailwind on the televangelist's private jet 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1603 His name? Coal. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1604 You kidding, caramels? Nuts, all nuts. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1605 Can’t get any worse, right? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1606 I warned him this one was already broken. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1607 Sure, on "Earth" he was a Yankee. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1608 My money's on Scott Pruitt over Gabriel. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1609 Now don't hog all the thoughts & prayers this time. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1610 As below, so above. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1611 This is why we make him play in the outfield. 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1612 And on the 2,198,000th day, God decided to smack them around a bit. 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1613 I wonder what will happen when all the lava inside pours out. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1614 It's God's way of dealing with the age of Trump! 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1615 So this is the source of the Jet Stream. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1616 I missed choir for this? 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1617 When he hits, yell 'big bang'! 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1618 Are we 100% sure this isn't hell? 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1619 Next we pin the rings on Saturn. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1620 It’s Scott Pruitt’s day off. 1.2281 0.05292 114 96 10 8
1621 We call it "Trump ball." 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1622 And so that’s how we get leap years. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1623 I asked but the guy said they discontinued Pluto 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1624 ...We’ll see what happens. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1625 He would've gone pro if it wasn't for the dino fiasco 243 million years ago. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1626 Does the clown know how to get here? 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1627 I’m guessing there’s no Smarties in there. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1628 Didn't we just do this 65,000,000 years ago? 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1629 I was always told thunder was God bowling. Who knew? 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1630 2018 World Series 1.2281 0.05436 114 97 8 9
1631 They’re gonna have to rewrite Revelations after my turn! 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1632 Ready or not---here comes Armageddon" 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1633 Trump wouldn’t miss. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1634 He never could hit a hanging curve ... 1.2281 0.04990 114 94 14 6
1635 The mortals call it "Climate Change," but we're just goofing off. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
1636 This is the real cause of climate change. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1637 We really should have made it flat. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
1638 This is a revelation. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1639 I remember it as being a bit larger. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1640 The President's second to last tweet. 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
1641 A flat piñata would’ve been ridiculous. 1.2281 0.04139 114 89 24 1
1642 Was it Sinatra who sang, "I've got the world on a string?" 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
1643 Paradoxically, this his how Donald Trump's Guardian Angel likes to celebrate Cinco de Mayo 1.2281 0.05436 114 97 8 9
1644 He saw 'Angels in the Outfield' one time too many! 1.2261 0.05102 115 96 12 7
1645 I know his lifelong dream was to bat for the Angels but this still seems wrong somehow. 1.2261 0.04464 115 92 20 3
1646 Even with the blindfold it seems like we keep hitting Mississippi 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1647 He’s missing on purpose...he knows about the magma. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1648 "it's just a game they play. He used to be a TV weather man down below. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1649 The way things are going down there, I doubt they'll even notice when he finally whacks it. 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
1650 Eventually 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1651 No need for angels in the outfield. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1652 Found it in a box of junk out by the Big Guy's curb and thought we'd give it one last go. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1653 Someone took "Make Earth Day pop!" way too literally. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1654 The newbies always have trouble adjusting to the infinite dimensions beyond space and time. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1655 The earth is safe. He could never hit the high outside curveball. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1656 My money was on 3000 AD, but I suppose I'm not surprised 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
1657 I have never seen Armageddon take this long before. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1658 The game of Life. Heaven only knows what the rules are. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1659 He keeps trying for Washington, D.C. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1660 You know, the big man will probably not be happy with this. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1661 Dude! You've been spinning that thing for like 4.543 billion years. Hurry it up!" 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1662 Why not, everyone else has had a go at it! 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1663 I have mixed feelings. It’s a fun game, but it always takes him so long to make us a new one. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1664 It’s virtual reality for flat-earthers.” 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1665 You'd have to be a fool not to see this coming after Trump was elected. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
1666 He's quite the ArcAngel 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1667 I never thought that evil could be explained so easily. 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
1668 Unfortunately it’s becoming a more frequent anger management exercise. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1669 It's mostly filled with useless plastic junk. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1670 He couldn't hit the broad side of the solar system! 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1671 Mooned it. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1672 I thought we could try a fun way to beat the Hell out of it. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
1673 You know if he hits it all hell breaks loose. Last time it was hit was way back in 2016. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1674 OSHA won't let us use fire and brimstone. 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
1675 When it's my turn I'm gonna whack a guy in the nuts. It's gonna be hilarious watch. 1.2232 0.05338 112 95 9 8
1676 This would be so much easier if it was flat. 1.2232 0.05338 112 95 9 8
1677 I can remember when we just threw darts at a map of Russia. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1678 Flatten it already! 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
1679 Better check the supply of wings. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1680 In his hey day he was a world beater. 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
1681 When you are a fallen angel, I guess you have a lot of pent up aggression 1.2232 0.04340 112 89 21 2
1682 Wait, what? Airheads is a candy? 1.2232 0.05185 112 94 11 7
1683 The boss is looking for more of a multicultural approach to the Last Days. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
1684 Twenty bucks says tsunami in South America. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1685 Did we make sure Jesus is out of there yet? 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1686 I wish he'd hurry up so we can sing Happy Birthday and cut the moon. 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1687 On Earth he was a bible thumper, now it's all fun and games 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1688 If he connects, they'll believe it's an earthquake. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1689 El Niño is way too good at this! 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1690 They ruined us, so now we’re returning the favor. 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1691 You hear about this new 'plate tectonics' theory the humans came up with? 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1692 My money's on a tsunami off the coast of Japan... 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1693 Yes, this is our new foreign policy. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1694 There has to be a more ethical way to determine who moves on to the afterlife 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1695 He used to have the world world in his hands. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1696 I pray no one breaks the pinata -- God knows what's in it... 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1697 Should we tell him there’s no candy inside? 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1698 Justice is supposed to be blind, after all! 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1699 The better angels are over it. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1700 Last time he hit it nothing came out, but Trump got elected. 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1701 It's a piñata and only works if you knock down the border wall. 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1702 You know Lucifer would have cracked it open on his first swing. 1.2212 0.04825 113 93 15 5
1703 They call it the Trump Doctrine. 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1704 Blindfolded or not, he'll never hit earth with that awful grip 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
1705 I’ll be worth the sugar rush. 1.2212 0.04986 113 94 13 6
1706 His last solid hit was 66 million years ago. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1707 I am curious to see what’s inside 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
1708 This will ruin our reputation. 1.2212 0.04486 113 91 19 3
1709 I always stand at least ten feet away. I'm a bit scared of the lava and molten rock that comes out of the bottom. And the racists. 1.2212 0.04659 113 92 17 4
1710 I miss the days when they were filled with ‘Smarties’ 1.2212 0.05142 113 95 11 7
1711 Last time it was full of dinosaurs 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1712 So the Rabbi says, ‘Why the long face?’... you get it? Because he’s a horse.” “Yeah... I get it. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1713 I bet they’ll still blame Trump 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1714 You're sure He's okay with this? 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1715 “Still...he has a heavenly swing” 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1716 Stand back when the magma comes out. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1717 Kingdom Come 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1718 This should be good. We've never had a baseball player here before. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1719 You have to admit...it's a lot quicker than climate change. 1.2202 0.04195 109 86 22 1
1720 It's really just filled with hot air. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1721 One more miss and he goes back to Limbo. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1722 It says it right here in Leviticus: no man may come near who is lame or blind or has damaged testicles. So what do you think? 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1723 Did you hear the new Kanye album? 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1724 Maybe this will wake them up 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1725 I see dead people. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1726 This could take a couple billon years! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1727 If you guys would stop beating on it, I think it might support life. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1728 Ha! He swings like a Man! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1729 The Pearly Gates guys are always the worst. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
1730 I heard there's bonus points for the White House. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1731 I don't know why he bothers - he voted for Trump. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1732 They’re all on steroids these days 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1733 I wish we could just borrow someone from below to throw a real after-party. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1734 God loves party games 1.2202 0.05272 109 92 10 7
1735 I think we shoud've gone with pin the tail on the donkey 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1736 I don't have the heart to tell him that it's empty. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1737 It's filled with 72 virgins. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1738 Even in heaven we have republicans. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1739 This is a test. 1.2202 0.04393 109 87 20 2
1740 Relax, this one has no goodies. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1741 Not good at world peace; let’s put her in charge of the courts. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1742 I wanted to get the Spongebob pinata. 1.2202 0.05272 109 92 10 7
1743 He's the American. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1744 We are so wrong for this! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1745 Candy? No, we're hoping for fossil fuel. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1746 Don't worry – it's humane. They only feel a small stinging sensation. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1747 Jupiter would have been easier 1.2202 0.05430 109 93 8 8
1748 Hit it hard enough and all their politicians fall out 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1749 God, I miss steroids. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1750 Here 'the meek shall inherit the Earth' means they all get to take a whack at it. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1751 He got a good whack in 66 million years ago. I've got a feeling he's due for another one soon. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1752 I wouldn't if I were you! It's full of toxic waste. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1753 Lucifer throws some great parties, but for some reason I just don't trust the guy. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1754 Wait. If we're in Heaven, what's that thing tied to? 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1755 I wonder who controls the string... 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
1756 This party sucks. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
1757 So, in the full-sized one that's how we're thinking the moon should work. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1758 WOW - this isn't going to turn out good at all! 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1759 If you cause a tsunami, you get a bonus swing. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1760 Little do they know this is the real reason behind climate change 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
1761 He was Secretary of State. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1762 Imagine if Mother Nature could have a swing at this. 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
1763 Turnout has been poor ever since God started stuffing it with fruit snacks. 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
1764 So then we WERE living in a world made of papier-mâché? 1.2182 0.04898 110 91 14 5
1765 „No loss, it was infested by two-legged parasites, anyway.“ 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1766 Shit! 1.2182 0.04898 110 91 14 5
1767 The last time someone hit it there were dinosaurs all over the place. 1.2182 0.05227 110 93 10 7
1768 Lucifer. Cheers him up. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
1769 You know he's peeking. Just what angels gotta do. 1.2182 0.04898 110 91 14 5
1770 We could not find a Trump piñata. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1771 So it's true, global warming isn't man made 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1772 Why are we wasting out energy, when Trump can do it for us? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1773 Turns out you can beat it with a stick. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1774 At least we didn't give him matches this time. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1775 If his aim gets better, Trump wants to hire him. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1776 No matter how hard he hits it, nothing good comes out 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1777 Trump and Kim think they're the ones who make the world go round. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1778 What's next, pin the tail on Uranus? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1779 It's just Trump swinging blindly, even up here. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1780 We're seeing if we can destroy it before they do. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1781 Smart cookie that Einstein. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1782 Don't waste your energy. They will destroy themselves by ignoring climate change, or maybe something may Trump that. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1783 It's gonna be windy, but no earthquake today 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1784 We're just speeding things up a little. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1785 They don't need any help to destroy the wold. There doing a good job of it all by themslves. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1786 Should we tell him that inside it’s just a bunch of rocks? 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1787 We've been here forever. He doesn't have the arm strength for this - all he's making it do is spin. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1788 Gabe put the "arc" in archangel. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1789 If it breaks into 7 billion pieces, I'm not cleaning it up. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1790 Don't worry, the mortals are too busy fighting with each other to notice. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1791 Sending a meteor would have been cleaner. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1792 They have no idea how trivial they are. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1793 He's an optimist! He thinks it's filled with sweets. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1794 Funny, most thought it would be heralded by trumpets! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1795 He hasn't hit it since the Mesozoic era. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1796 St. Francis did not sanction this spectacle, but we have an idea who did. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1797 He's missed...what...about four and a half billion times now? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1798 Global warming is gonna get 'em before Doug does. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1799 We really need to cut back on the Red Bull. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1800 A Trump Hotel in North Korea really was the last straw. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1801 He can swing away every time Trump tells a lie. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1802 I know God has a sick sense of humor,but this is a new low. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1803 It seems to have become celestially repellent. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1804 They will think it’s due to global warming. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1805 So the crazy people are right when they say that climate change is a hoax. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1806 Rapture, Rupture, same difference 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1807 Why not? How could it get any worse? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1808 Is Pruitt on deck?” “He’s on the other team 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1809 I hope we don't get any of those shit hole countries 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1810 We all did much better at this during the steroid era 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1811 He hasn't yet grasped the whole non-corporeal thing. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1812 Will we have to pick up the pieces? 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1813 No, the Olympians play a completely different game, but the results are identical. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1814 He was called up from the Mexican League. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1815 God is on sabbatical 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1816 HE BELONGS TO TRUMP'S TEAM, TASATANWHE', "TAKEASWINGATANYWHERE". 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1817 Mother Nature sure knows how to throw a party. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1818 I heard it's all plastic wrappers, no candy. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1819 its a hot mess at this point 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1820 ...and that’s how Donald Trump became President... 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1821 I guess He's had it with them. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1822 'And THAT'S why he was traded to the Minors before he keeled over.' 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1823 The count is three and two. Should Earth be concerned? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1824 Scientists could not figure out what was causing the disappearance of the Earth’s blue whales, frogs, coke bottles, and Sweden’s berries. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1825 The Big Bang Theory Sequel 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1826 I'm so over earthly delights. Aren't you? 1.2150 0.03990 107 84 23 0
1827 I don't know about you, but I doubt there is candy inside. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1828 It's okay, he always misses the first two swings. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1829 He hasn't made contact since there were dinosaurs. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1830 It’s his 3rd strike. If he misses you know where he goes. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1831 I guess this explains Trump. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1832 Every few million years, same old thing. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1833 And they're afraid of asteroids! 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1834 It’s filled with styrofoam and plastic straws. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1835 We used to use Pluto but it was too small. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1836 Hard to believe he batted .338 for the Reds. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1837 When he whiffs it, it causes a typhoon. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1838 No worries; it takes him thousands of years to hit it. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1839 I'm not so sure there's anything good inside. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1840 Just because we have Free Will and stick doesn't make it okay 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1841 Lucifer and his game of New World Order. He won't let anyone else have a turn. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1842 Guess that whole 'Nuclear Threat' thing was just another diversion. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1843 I mean, I guess it's more fun than the flood was... 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
1844 It's nice to see Donald feels at home. 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1845 Uncover your eyes please. You always hit the poor countries. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1846 Where's the real Batman when we need him? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1847 No-one ever hits it, but the process releases old frustrations and bad memories 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1848 I never noticed that Michael was a lefty. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1849 Oh relax, that world has already been ruined. 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1850 Ut dictum est, "Close, but no cigar." 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1851 Give 'em an earthquake! 1.2150 0.05316 107 91 9 7
1852 I 'm tired of your constant harping at me that I shouldn't be aiming for the fences and just make contact. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1853 She often gets on, but refuses to steal. 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1854 I'm guessing it's no longer a whimper 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1855 Do we really want earthlings here? 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
1856 It's hit or miss with this world 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
1857 God said he can take the blindfold off on Jan 20th, 2017 if he hasn't hit it by then. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
1858 He has been binge watching CNN! 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
1859 Can't wait for the delicious treats that come out of this: pollution, famine, anxiety, unvaccinated children....yum! 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
1860 T-ball isn't what it used to be. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1861 Don't feel too bad - this is the least of their problems. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1862 His anger management sessions don't seem to be helping very much. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1863 That piñata is just a hopeless Pandora’s box 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1864 It's O.K. They're going to die anyway. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1865 The boss said we're done with this one. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1866 Down there? No blindfold. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1867 I think he's peeking and trying to hit Canada. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1868 On mice days like this it causes an earthquake. When we play in the rain one hell of a hurricane. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1869 I suspect it will self-destruct first. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1870 The round ones are always full of magma. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1871 How did we end up here? Oh He got in a war with the Canadians' . 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1872 The way he keeps missing you'd think it really was flat. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1873 Wait 'till she finds they're no goodies inside ... 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1874 WING batter, batter. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1875 I know we were told to get rid of the dinosaurs but this seems a bit childish 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1876 Why couldn't we get a bigger target to swing at, like Jupiter? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1877 I told you we should have used a carrot. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1878 Come on now. You must be blind not to see what you're doing to the earth." 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1879 The Devil is making him do it....! 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1880 Has it been 4 billion years yet? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1881 If he breaks it in three swings or less, he has seven days to build something new. We do this when the worlds go awry. Want to try? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1882 The center is molten chocolate. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1883 The climatologists here have an axe to grind. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1884 I tried to stop him, but he really wants the candy... 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1885 That's why he's here. Wouldn't hurt a flea. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1886 Lucifer is really determined to bring this one down. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1887 After Trump we pretty much gave up. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1888 Yeah, I know this Pinata thing is not the End as described in Revelations. I think the Big Guy wants to shake up those smug Fundamentalists. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1889 No worries. It's a Nerf ball. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1890 I haven't tread there since November 2016. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1891 She's definitely getting warmer. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
1892 If he hits it hard enough, can we have nice things again? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1893 Did anyone tell him about the magma? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1894 The darned thing is full of nuts, and whoever cracks it open is going to get all of 'em. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1895 If he lands a hit, Saint Peter is going to be working overtime. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1896 You didn’t know - we’ve been doing this for centuries 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1897 Haven't they had enough? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1898 So this is what it's like to party like it's 1999.... 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1899 We've been whacking at it for centuries now: it's getting pretty bruised 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1900 Avenging Angel, my ass! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1901 God's away on business. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1902 I heard there are fruit-loops within. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1903 Shouldn't we warn somebody, in case he hits it? 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1904 I'd toss whatever comes out,it's toxic. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1905 What about free will? 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1906 I really don't much care for the taste of lava, do you? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1907 The last time he hit it started the whole global arming thing. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1908 He'd be better to bunt. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1909 Blame Canada. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1910 You know, there's an Angel who can pitch, too. 1.2115 0.05409 104 89 8 7
1911 Hope for the best. When I hit it a terrible thing happened to one country’s election. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1912 He's been listening to Carmina Burana again. O Fortuna really got to him. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1913 The big guy said it's okay, since we can't do any more damage than they have already. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1914 We've tried everything else. Maybe this will finally knock some sense into everyone. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1915 With Trump in the White House and Pruit at EPA, this game just isn't as thrilling as it used to be. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1916 Do you think now is a good time to put it in the strike zone? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1917 This ought to settle the Hollow Earth Theory once and for all. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
1918 Could only be an improvement at this point. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1919 There better be weed in there this time. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1920 We're so close to cracking it 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1921 We've been taking hits for years. They're bound to crack soon. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
1922 We planned to end it with the usual plagues, warfare, fire, et cetera. But then we had the bright idea to throw a fiesta instead! 1.2115 0.05579 104 90 6 8
1923 If only justice was as blind as angels playing piñata 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1924 As I recall, he was just as bad in the 2009 World Series. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
1925 I hope Atlas doesn’t find out about this.” 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
1926 We’ll call it, Big Bang, Try Not To Screw This One Up, Two. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
1927 It’s no worse for their environment than fracking 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1928 Ironically, he died on Earth in a piñata related accident. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
1929 I doubt there is anything good in there anyways. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
1930 Our GM read The Blind Side, not Moneyball. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
1931 Won’t that hurt it? No more than the humans have. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
1932 This whole Earth project’s been a swing and a miss, huh? 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
1933 Take off the blindfold and I still bet he can't even hit Jupiter. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1934 It's a great catharsis, you should try it"" 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1935 At this rate it'll take an eternity. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1936 So far all he’s done is knock down a few satellites. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1937 Acts of God aren't covered, but what about acts of angels?" 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1938 It's Trump's primary pinata! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1939 Well, if Michael ever does hit Earth, I expect it'll get a lot more crowded down below than here! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1940 It's a game called Mexico's Revenge. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1941 They feel the earth move under their feet. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1942 HE always does this on Bing Crosby's birthday and, yes, HE's sittin' on a rainbow. What a world. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1943 You know, I'm still trying to decide if I want him to nail the thing or not. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1944 Remember your first marriage, Jimmy! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1945 We take the blindfold off every time Trump speaks. 1.2059 0.05457 102 88 7 7
1946 Ten Bucks says it's full of nuts 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1947 What do you mean, 'did I remember to write this in the Book of Revelations?' You were supposed to write this in the book of Revalations! 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1948 I hope he gets it on the next swing....that'll make it 2012 swings. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1949 I thought we were guardian angels, not miracle workers. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1950 I told Him six days always means a shoddy rush job we have to scrap. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1951 If only getting the good stuff out of the world was that simple... 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1952 So this is the Big Bang? 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1953 I heard it's filled with eternal hellfire. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1954 We filled it with little sins. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1955 I know. And they always blame Mother Nature. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1956 It's all fun and games until a tectonic plate is hit. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1957 Hark! We never saw the point of it. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1958 So, wanna bet that he can do this too on blind faith? 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1959 He lets us do this whenever He's in one of His 'What have they done for Me lately?' moods. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1960 It should come as no surprise that that thing is chock full of sinners. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1961 Who's gonna clean it up? 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1962 That's two strikes. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1963 Here we speak softly and carry a big stick. Down below it’s speak incoherently and carry big tariffs. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
1964 Apparently they call these 'shooting stars.' 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1965 Guess He got tired of playing dice. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1966 After this we are playing Pin the Tail on the Comet. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1967 He's in for a surprise. Instead of candy, the middle is filled with chocolate molten lava cakes. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1968 Throws like an angel, swings like a Met. 1.2059 0.05457 102 88 7 7
1969 Why the Earth spins. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1970 There's really not much to do around here. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1971 I miss the world...but not by that much. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1972 Friday's are for divine interventions. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1973 I heard it's full of nuts. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1974 Little do they know what is really causing all those earthquakes, they think it is the fracking. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1975 It’s the Anthropocene. New rules went into effect. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1976 Remeber last time Pangea broke 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1977 I don't think we can call ourselves angels in the outfield anymore. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1978 we're suppose to practice for some kind of apocalypse. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1979 Yes, it's empty, but that's the point. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1980 Three strikes and they're out. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1981 That devil is gonna crush it. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1982 I don't think we'll like what we find inside. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1983 He's swinging too hard - he's going to hurt the dinosaurs. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1984 I hear the parties downstairs are a lot more fun. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1985 Never hit above 150 for the Mets either. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1986 At this rate the Rapture will never come. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1987 I can't wait for the mercury, plastics, and pcbs to cometh forth. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1988 [God pulls up string] "You gotta be quicker than that..." 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
1989 Maybe we should remove the mask. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
1990 Well, when people don’t repent we destroy their world by using it as a pinata 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
1991 Thinks it is better now before Trump destroys it. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1992 Are you sure this planet is void and empty? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1993 We haze in heaven? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1994 Not to worry, he has trouble with the curve. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
1995 This is way more fun than the flood option. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1996 I mean, how blessed can he be? 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
1997 Hit Mexico for another life. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
1998 He's getting closer. Are you sure the Old Man will pull it out of the way? 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
1999 This hits for Trump 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2000 O guess it can't be any worse than what they do themselves down there. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2001 A swing and a miss! A good day for Earth! Not so much for Michael's chances of getting on the team. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
2002 He’s a switch hitter. Does cyclones and hurricanes. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2003 No! There are no candies, why do you ask? 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2004 I know, Armageddon. Ironic. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2005 We are definitely _not_ the better angels. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2006 THE WAY THE WORLD IS GOING IT IS ALL HIT AND MISS ANYWAY ! 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2007 I think he needs to be sent down for more training 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2008 I heard that there are some living things on it. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2009 Don't you think he should stop hitting America? They've suffered enough already. 1.2059 0.05276 102 87 9 6
2010 If he makes contact we're talking Revelations... 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
2011 Dibs on the Swedish fish. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
2012 The Republicans like Pin the Tail on the Donkey. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2013 Not to worry. It's on self-destruct mode. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2014 It was either this or “pin the tail on Halley’s comet”. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2015 The Angels take a lead in the Other-World Series 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2016 St. Peter made sure the Flat Earthers could play shuffleboard. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2017 It doesn't matter if he actually hits it this time. Earth is done for either way. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2018 I couldn't find a flat one. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2019 Like humans treat it any better" 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2020 Don’t get too close. It’s filled with molten rock. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2021 Even here...still cannot hit the broad side of a barn 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2022 We really should come up with a new game. Every time we play this one we get blamed for earthquakes and tidal waves. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2023 And that's how earthquakes are created. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2024 What's the point? Any minute now it's going to fall apart anyway. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2025 Do we have a moral obligation to let the inhabitants know about our piñata finals? 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2026 Do the care labels for our robes mention 10,000 degree molten iron?" 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2027 Who asked for a do-over? 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2028 I'd say people are destroying it without our help. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2029 You know who’s awesome at this? Donald Trump. 1.2039 0.05228 103 88 9 6
2030 Be patient. He was good at smashing pumpkins. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2031 Is this really the best way to cause the next mass extinction? 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2032 If he hits it, don’t you worry about another Mueller investigation? 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2033 He’d better hit if before it explodes on its own. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2034 I would call it 'The shot heard around the World,' but I think it has already been used 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2035 He was once an Angels' hitter 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2036 "Once he works out the mechanics of his swing, climate change will look like nothing." 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2037 So, Gabriel couldn't find his horn? 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2038 Don’t worry, he’s only going to hit Canada. 1.2039 0.05407 103 89 7 7
2039 I didn't know in heaven I'd have a birthday party. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2040 Stop hitting the poor countries! 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2041 Next time, let’s get the Pluto one. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2042 Last time we played, all the dinosaurs fell out. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2043 I thought Armageddon would play out differently. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2044 Normally we just play musical chairs, but this seemed more fitting. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2045 Extra points for hitting Washington, DC. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2046 'We sent that Trump guy down to earth to practice.' 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2047 i don't know man who gives a fuck 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2048 One more hit to Hawaii and we'll get to see the gooey center 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2049 I wonder if they know this is how earthquakes happen? 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2050 Luckily Mr. Trump is ineligible as he has been banished to hell. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2051 I think he forgotten that it's tilted 23.4 degrees on its axis... 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2052 Although he thinks he’s Babe Ruth, I’m glad to report he’s really Donald Trump. 1.2039 0.05407 103 89 7 7
2053 If he misses one more time, we’ll use Jupiter. 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2054 It’s all landfill. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2055 So it was The Boss’ idea, not the Russians’ to get him elected?! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2056 Gabriel's aim is awful. We could be here forever. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2057 Frank Sinatra, right? 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2058 Joke's on him, this one's filled with dirt. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2059 He better not get this *and* the new harp. 1.2039 0.05228 103 88 9 6
2060 That's God's Piñata pitch, nobody can hit it. 1.2039 0.04650 103 85 15 3
2061 All Hell may break loose, but it'll be worth it...I'm for the chewy magma center. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2062 I heard Hell got a magician. 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2063 She trusts her instincts. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2064 To think Shakespeare got so close 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2065 U.S.foreign policy 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2066 So this, this is the meaning of life. Well, that's just great! 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2067 They’ll think it’s an asteroid. 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2068 I think we have a better chance with the Big Bang approach 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2069 One that breaks open it’ll be a whole new world. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2070 Ugh, I bet you it's filled with doves again this year. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
2071 He may have the world on a string, but he swings like my nana. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2072 Wait till he finds out all that's left are a few lumps of coal and a $43,000 sound proof phone booth. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2073 God bless Earth Day. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2074 I think we should go back to hitting Uranus. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2075 See? If the Earth was flat where would the candy go? 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2076 After us, the Better Angels are up again, but we’re way ahead. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2077 This supposedly is a proof of free will. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2078 I've been banned since I wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2079 This oughta show those flat-earthers. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2080 I don't know about you, but I'm finding this to be more Trump's version of heaven than mine. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2081 If he misses again, the world certainly won't end with a bang but with a whimper. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2082 Not everyone's cut out for Avenging Angel status. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2083 The Angels gave him his wings prior to spring training. 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2084 If he hits,we'll have a lot more angels up here 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2085 Trump’s version of a very wonderful and beautiful Mexican birthday party in heaven. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2086 I hate this “archangels go first” rule 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2087 Don't worry! It won't get crowded up here when he breaks it. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2088 HA! There's a strong breeze over the pacific. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2089 He's going to be so disappointed. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2090 When she gets a good hit, all the lava comes flowing out. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2091 He wanted to go out with a bang, not a whimper. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2092 Told you not to worry about global warming. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2093 The word on the street is it's rigged, he sees through the blindfold and tariffs will be the least of Canada's problems. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2094 I mean, come on! How many chances does he get? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2095 It appears we're giving up on our mission to save the world 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2096 Yeah, it's kinda mean but it's kinda fun too. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2097 This one's more fragile than it looks. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2098 I'm not sure how many more direct hits it can take! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2099 He's the Angel of Global Warming, and he never misses twice. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2100 After they took away Pluto, this is the only way we could keep the game going. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2101 This looks bad. Shouldn't the horn section be tuning up? 1.2020 0.04302 99 80 18 1
2102 God believes this provides better odds than the way the Earth is being cared for now. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2103 We used to block out countries for salvation - but not anymore. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2104 He can stop. The president will do it. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2105 I don't think this is what Teddy Roosevelt had in mind. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2106 ...if he hits New Jersey Jimmy Hoffa will fall out... 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2107 In heaven as it is on earth,,,, 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2108 So, what do you think, hit or miss or doing the Lord's work? 1.2020 0.05557 99 86 6 7
2109 There goes the neighborhood. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2110 I’ve heard nothing good could come out of this! 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2111 First thee get their attention. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2112 Gabriel likes to mix it up sometimes. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2113 One thing I know, it's not filled with candy. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2114 They think the shaking is from some shifting plates. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2115 He was Trump's EPA chief,the pi 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2116 Could it be the Big Bang in reverse? 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2117 Don’t look so glum. There are plenty of other hospitable planets in the universe. Plus this one is doesn’t believe in global warming. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2118 He'll never hit it if it keeps rotating like that. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2119 It’s a earth-wide eviction notice . He claims to be Fred Trump, but we know that has to be a lie. 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2120 Well, it's really more like "wack-a-mole" 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2121 The big stick I understand, but what happened to speaking softly? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2122 I told you we should have voted. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2123 It's not as fun without Lucifer here 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2124 This just wouldn't work as well if it was flat. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2125 Do we even know what's in there? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2126 Doesn't he know it's going to destroy itself in a couple millennia anyways? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2127 The boss is unhappy with Trump. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2128 are you sure this is the right piñata? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2129 Why bother? They've already mined all the candy out of it. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2130 Three strikes send you back. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2131 Oh relax and enjoy the party. How can this be worse than what they’re doing to it? 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2132 Pray he doesn't hit North Korea. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2133 Must be a bithday. The line is unbelievable on Cinco de Mayo. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2134 'You know, down there they call him the moon' 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2135 Aw, why does he get to start the rapture? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2136 Really, the killer asteroid we used last time showed some class. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2137 He's got the whole world in his hands. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2138 It's empty. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2139 It has to be at least a Richter 9.2 to fracture the Earth's crust. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2140 Wait, but won't lava come out? 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2141 Don't look so surprised Macron, Merkel tried to tell you. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2142 He was never very good at Earthly endeavors! 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2143 The Boss decided that 'ending with a whimper' wasn't an option. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2144 That was a hurricane. Only the hits register on the Richter scale. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2145 This is Global Whiffing. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2146 I thought Trump and Scott Pruitt were taking care of this. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2147 Dude, this angel dust is the bomb 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2148 The Broadway adaptation of Angels in the Outfield continues through June 26. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2149 Michael doesn't think they're getting the message. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2150 A holy catharsis. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
2151 Wait until God hears about this earth shattering news. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2152 It’s full of angst. 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2153 It will be a miracle if he hits it. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2154 Give him time, he just got called up 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2155 Now I know why they put the angels in the outfield. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2156 He knows there isn't candy in there, right? 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2157 Well, if it is some kind of test... I think we're about to fail with flying colors. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2158 Not to worry! He pitched in the American League. 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2159 I like to watch the ants fall off 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2160 He's not nearly as effective as Trump's turn at the G7 summit. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2161 Aim for the ozone--they'll never notice! 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2162 Really in the mood for some fine chocolates-- I'm aiming for Belgium 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2163 Ya le diste una! ya le diste dos! ya le diste tres!…y tu tiempo se acabo!!” 1.2020 0.05173 99 84 10 5
2164 Imagine if humanity knew what really killed the dinosaurs. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2165 They think they're tracking an asteroid. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2166 There isn't enough candy in the world to make this worth it! 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2167 We 're playing the Canadian version. The candy doesn't come out unless you hit D.C. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
2168 He used to be a member of Congress. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2169 Because if you get the moon on the first swing you’re allowed to go again 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2170 The Mass Extinction party theme is so played out. 1.2020 0.05368 99 85 8 6
2171 Get ready for the apocalypse - Hank Aaron's batting clean up. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2172 Jupiter's easier. 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
2173 They say in Hell, you don’t even wear the blindfold... 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2174 He played for the Orioles. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2175 He’s been connecting pretty regularly lately. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2176 And.........this is how He keeps the world spinning? 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2177 I know it's just a bit of fun, but I don't feel like it gels with what we're about here. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2178 He may play for the angels, but he swings like a Met! 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2179 She just thinks she's got the world on a string 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2180 Apparently, the humans are not messing up the planet fast enough for our Angel Brother's taste. 1.2000 0.04714 100 83 14 3
2181 He's just bashing globalism again. 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
2182 I'm getting a little nervous. I still have family there. 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
2183 He is trying to spank trump 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
2184 Winner gets​ to pick the next plague! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2185 Blindfold, shmeinfold. He's still dangerous. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2186 I'm not sure what I thought the End of Days would be like, but it wasn't this. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2187 Angel Trump continues to miss but calls it fake news. 1.1959 0.05607 97 85 5 7
2188 Who invited Global Warming to the party? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2189 And you thought climate change was an imminent threat! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2190 He just whacked Hawaii 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2191 He's going for the Sixth Extinction. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2192 It's not a matter of if... it's a matter of when. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2193 This isn't bad, they use the sun in hell. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2194 It's anger management. He was a better angel in the Lincoln administration. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2195 He was big talk after Jupiter. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2196 The Big Man couldn't quite nail it, so he decided to let us have a few swings at it. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2197 It can't hurt. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2198 Is the Apocholypse, or just global whaamin? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2199 Well, for us it's lots of fun; they call it climate change. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2200 We're taking turns playing Apocalypse. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2201 This is how we play God! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2202 Do you suppose this is part of God’s plan? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2203 Its your turn to intervene 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2204 He was not much better at T-ball. 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2205 A split just opened on Hawaii. It should come apart with the next good hit." 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2206 What on earth? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2207 Hank, I have to go, and I'm taking my smoke machine. Don't call me. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2208 God's got the world on a string sittin' on a rainbow. He'll never hit it... 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2209 Think Trump and swing! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2210 It's really a hit or miss type of deal. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2211 Apparently the prize motivates him, but he really needs to learn to care more about the welfare of others. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2212 One strike and they're out. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2213 Yeah, he made it, but sometimes God's strange moods just tick me off. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2214 Too bad there's no candy inside. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2215 It’s Kim’s turn now, Donnie. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2216 It's never gonna happen, he's with the LA Dodgers. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2217 Apocalypse when? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2218 Cinco de Mayo was never this much fun! 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2219 Rumor has it that it was those tweets about Mexico that drove Her over the edge 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2220 Yeah, I'm with you, a bit overeager. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2221 Maybe that's where our haloes are. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2222 He has been doing this since the election. He thinks he doing the world a favor. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2223 It's only a matter of time now. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2224 Is that the one made out of cheese? 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2225 Well, the world's already going to Hell. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2226 Hoping he'll knock the Devil out of it! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2227 He is experimenting with new ways of celebrating Earth Day. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2228 Yes, Mr. President, you need to keep the mask on! 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2229 Watch out; remember what happened last Election Night! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2230 Well, if bats come flying out, a lot will be explained. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2231 Just wait until it's El Nino's turn! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2232 I told the boss it was a bad idea to give the job to one of our better angels. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2233 I hate Cinco de Gaia. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2234 I heard Dennis got Jupiter for his party 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2235 And God said, “Let there be candy.” 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2236 Between you and me, I'm glad Gabe keeps missing. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2237 Well, since it's ruined anyway... 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2238 It's the only thing that planet is good for anymore. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2239 We've got to send him back down. He's just not ready for the Majors. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2240 Call him off. They're destroying it themselves. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2241 In the Old Testament days He hadn't yet thought of the blindfold. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2242 I know the earth is filled with the goodness of the Lord, but just once I'd love some gum. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2243 The Flying Spaghetti Monster wouldn't have missed... 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2244 I'm hoping for pennies from heaven. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2245 Next we'll play pin the tail on the world leader. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2246 This will really be the big bang! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2247 Why do think we all keep missing it? 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2248 Very rarely does someone connect. I believe the last time we had some dinosaurs go extinct. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2249 Be best. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2250 Surely it can't make things any worse. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2251 Don’t tell the big guy we’re doing this again. He’s still angry about Gondwanaland. 1.1959 0.05607 97 85 5 7
2252 It's gonna blow up anyway. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2253 Heads up, Mars! He really got ahold of the moon on that one. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2254 I miss the world, too. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2255 I still say is cultural appropriation. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2256 At least we tried. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2257 At least he's not fracking. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2258 He thinks of it as a couple swings, but it's four years down there 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2259 Does anyone actually eat the magma inside? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2260 I don't think this is what Sinatra was singing about. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2261 I hate when all the sin spills out. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2262 A lot of hot air and greenhouse gases we expect 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2263 OK, Now try to hit something other than Kilauea 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2264 Strike three. Another eon! 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2265 And they say love make the world go round. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2266 Mickey actually missed more than he hit. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2267 They say he played for the Mets. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2268 Can it, here comes Jesus! 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2269 Hit Switzerland and we get chocolate! China and we get rice... 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2270 Is it Christmas already ? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2271 This wills settle that flat Earth issue. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2272 They ignored their better angels. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2273 Do you remember Pandora's last party? 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2274 He delegates Acts of God to us. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2275 Justice is blind, particularly if your global peace pinata is fake! 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2276 Finally, a GOOD compromise! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2277 Not to be unkind, but we should hope he's a no-hitter. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2278 I think that's the new, "extreme " version of Brexit. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2279 It's my fault. He's been whiffing ever since I suggested he choke up on the bat. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2280 They'll call it a Madden-Julian oscillation; I say it's a whiff. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2281 With any luck, we'll make it flat again. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2282 It's always mostly insects. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2283 We may as well have a party and enjoy it before it goes bad. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2284 I actually heard some guy say that God does not play dice with the Universe. Wonder what he would think about this? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2285 And they still think it’s climate change. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2286 Apparently he struck out a lot with the Anaheim team, also. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2287 They say the immigration lottery is even harder 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2288 Reminds me of Trump somehow. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2289 I got it on sale. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2290 The winner doesn’t have to return. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2291 He missed North Korea 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2292 I had something else in mind when John's invitation promised we'd "journey to the center of the Earth ". 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2293 They need disasters from time to time to keep them on their toes 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2294 Do you think Phil knows his boy is still down there? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2295 Don't worry about the giant lizards. They'll be fine. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2296 Waste of time. It's empty. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2297 This is part of the new anger management program. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2298 It’s a new technique from his anger-management group. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2299 I hear say that it is filled with plastic. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2300 Swing low, Sweet Chariot 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2301 I always wondered what caused earthquakes. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2302 MEGA. Make Earth Great Again 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2303 Do we have enough wings for another eight billion? 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2304 He's just going to get lava everywhere 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2305 I hope he doesn't hit the Yucatan Peninsula again. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2306 He hasn't hit a lick since Bryce Harper went on the DL. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2307 His last swing was an almost-miss; the bat barely brushed Kilauea. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2308 This is what happens when Earth Day gets confused with Birthday. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2309 That's one way to hasten Armageddon." 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2310 Ariel's pretty uncoordinated. The last time he connected was in the Cretaceous 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2311 And they worry about global warming...! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2312 You've heard of the blind watchmaker? This is his evil twin. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2313 He sunk all his money into TWA. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2314 And he wanted us to call him Gabe Ruth? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2315 Did you see that? She winked at me. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2316 This used to seem like the dumbest thing you could do. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2317 Aren't we supposed to do this AFTER the Rapture? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2318 He doesn't play dice with the universe, but... 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2319 The last planet he whacked turned out to be Pluto and that didn't end well. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2320 I think I am right in saying the left hand on top doesn't work. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2321 At least this is more fair than the dart board. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2322 Welcome to the world opener series. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2323 Don't you think Babe's had enough swings for one year? 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2324 Hah, they’re blaming Russia down there... 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2325 Worst New Year's party, ever. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2326 Major League career my ass! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2327 He just hit Hawaii and Guatemala. Personally, I'm aiming for the White House." 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2328 God knows what on Earth will happen! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2329 After Gabriel crushes the Earth, let's go back to my place so I can tear up Uranus. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2330 It'll give 'all hell breaking loose' a new meaning. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2331 It's only a matter of time. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2332 Creationists' Outer Spiral Arm Concept Drawing 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2333 Hades is just dying to play! 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2334 Let's give him another chance. We could all use a do-over. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2335 He’s been at it for 4.543 billion years 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2336 They're so quaint, they have an entire religion called "plate tectonics." 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2337 They put all the best candy in Saturn. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2338 That is quite a trick to play on a guardian angel... 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2339 He's been at it for years, yet all he's doing is making for stronger winds 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2340 It ain't over till it's over. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2341 I hope he doesn't burst China. I can't digest counterfeit candy. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2342 It's Pinata Therapy for people who had bad experiences on earth. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2343 He can finally have an impact on the world 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2344 Wait until God finds out he's got the world on a string! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
2345 He sits on the president’s shoulder. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2346 i just hope Ted Williams does not hear about this 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2347 When it's time for the annual softball tournament,we're gonna need our better angels. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2348 And Earth thought hurricanes were an act of God. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2349 The World is going to Hell! 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2350 Did someone open the sixth seal? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2351 This is really how Earth ends, but my agent was right: the Four Horsemen version IS a huge best-seller. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2352 Last good hit got rid of the dinosaurs. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2353 I wouldn't brag, you only had to hit Jupiter. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2354 He can't hit here any better than when he was on the Mets. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2355 Sure, he missed the Earth but he hammered that moon into orbit. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2356 I think it's time to take off the blindfold. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2357 In the old days, we didn't have to wear the blindfold. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2358 Last time the dinosaurs died. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2359 No wonder my brother down on earth has migraines. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2360 Can you believe people on Earth blame "fracking" for the rise in earthquakes. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2361 I don’t think that what he meant by “Why don’t you take a swing at it for a change.” 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2362 Scientists who insisted that climate change was caused by human activity go absolutely nuts when they see this. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2363 This might hurt. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2364 Dude has zero chance of being signed by the Anaheim Archangels." 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2365 'The last time he did this Trump was elected President!' 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2366 How do you think we got rid of the dinosaurs? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2367 Shouldn’t we tell him that’s not the piñata? 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2368 Your best bet is on America. I think I see a split forming. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2369 I was led to believe that the recreational activities offered here would be music and song. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
2370 Rock candy. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2371 It wouldn't be as much fun if the Earth was flat. 1.1959 0.05412 97 84 7 6
2372 I've heard that the candy is out of this world. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2373 The Devil is batting over .400 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2374 You have to hit it once every 24 hours to keep it turning, even if blindfolded. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2375 He always dreamed he was in the World Series" 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2376 And he thought the world was flat! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2377 Too bad it's not real. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2378 Ever hear the song "He's got the whole world in his hands" ? 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
2379 First the dinosaurs... Now humans?! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2380 There goes Michael: still trying to knock the hell out of it. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
2381 Given all that has gone on recently, the planet could use a good whack.” 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2382 It's exciting -- at any moment Trump's antics could change the trajectory. 1.1959 0.05210 97 83 9 5
2383 Who says God doesn't play dice with the universe. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2384 So that’s how the world goes ‘round. 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2385 Brad, it's your 4.543 billionth birthday, can we try something new for a change? 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2386 There are subtler ways... 1.1939 0.05361 98 85 7 6
2387 I wish the Boss had more of an actual plan. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
2388 Well he's definitely no Donald Trump 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
2389 With Pluto gone, this is the next logical choice. 1.1939 0.05161 98 84 9 5
2390 Try to hit it on North Korea so all the minerals will fall out... 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2391 If it's candy in there, I call dibs on the Milky Ways and Mars Bars. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2392 I can't stand spiritual appropriation! 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2393 This is the Day of Judgement. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2394 None of the good hitters can get up here. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2395 That’s strike #665. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2396 No worry. He's only trying to destroy it out of love. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2397 Silly humans, they think chaos is caused by a Trump tweet. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2398 And for all those years I thought the world revolved around me. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2399 Next we'll choose their president by pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2400 It's full of starving children. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2401 He's still trying to make the Yankees. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2402 And they thought climate change would be their demise. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2403 It can't be Ted Williams. He's still on ice. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2404 Angels at play JUST BEFORE the dinosaurs went away. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2405 The President wants to make sure Mexico knows he is very serious about cancelling NAFTA. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2406 We don't play dice with the world. That was before Trump. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2407 It's a flat-earther birthday party. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2408 ‘Cause we couldn’t get enough candy in the flat one. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2409 Do you suppose he has no idea there are no bleachers up here? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2410 Well, so much for my geology degree. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2411 Well, he did hit Kilauea last time. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2412 Last year we used Pluto. Took him three hours. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2413 He does this every time he sees a new Star Wars movie. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2414 After doing this for eternity, you'd think he'd be better at it. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2415 A blind angel can beat a sighted devil any day. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2416 It is part of our new diversity sensitivity program in response to the Trump immigration doctrine" 1.1915 0.05511 94 82 6 6
2417 Iiiit's a Wing and a Miss! 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2418 This got a lot less fun after 2016 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2419 Batta, batta, batta, batta, batta. Sa-WING, batta !!! 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2420 It's only a papier-mâché world, hanging over a cardboard sea. 1.1915 0.05511 94 82 6 6
2421 The seam in North Korea is the trick. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2422 Is this racist? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2423 Sing faster, its been his turn since last January! 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2424 If the earth was flat, how could we fit all the candy inside? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2425 If he makes good contact...California’s history... 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2426 He works for Scott Pruitt. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2427 It's inhabitants are making it competitive, but I think we'll destroy it first. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2428 Head of a "pin" or "piñata"? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2429 He's convinced he can turn back time. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2430 He just found out the wife remarried. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2431 Turns out God does play dice with the Universe 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2432 The winner gets Mars 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2433 For some reason, they're worried about trumpets blowing and 'seals' breaking. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2434 And then, there was darkness. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2435 I liked pin the tail on Venus better. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2436 Now I see how the Los Angeles Angels got their name" 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2437 At the very least, expect an earthquake. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2438 He's got the whole world in his hands, everybody.. he's got the whole world in his hands. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2439 Swing hard! The president's up next. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2440 Just wait till Trump gets here. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2441 Maybe it's filled with kinky stuff? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2442 This is why they're so damned fired up to get to Mars? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2443 And to think some believe climate change is the biggest threat to the earth's future. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
2444 The game got a lot better when we started filling it with infinite gratification. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2445 Oh God, he's going to be pissed when he finds out we forgot the Jujubes. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2446 Last time we got dinosaurs... 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2447 No one swings like Sinatra. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2448 I thought you said he played for the Yankees." 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2449 The Mexican angels complained about cultural appropriation. 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2450 Wow, has he really hit D.C. each time? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2451 Piñatarmageddearth Day 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
2452 Okay, so he hits it, so who is the lucky one to gets tell God? 1.1915 0.05300 94 81 8 5
2453 Lucifer's gonna fall if he keeps swinging like that 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
2454 It's a perk of being a Horseman of the Apocalypse, but it's a bit too on-the-nose for me. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2455 I wish Napolean Dynamite were here. 1.1915 0.05079 94 80 10 4
2456 I'm so relieved. They're starting to go bad. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2457 Looks like he’s still holding a grudge! 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2458 Looks like the editors of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest are trying to find a funny caption. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2459 If he hits, we're gonna be mobbed. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
2460 Next year, let's play pin the tail on Jupiter 1.1895 0.05247 95 82 8 5
2461 Michael always was a bully. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
2462 It looks like a piñata, but it works like a voodoo doll. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
2463 Oh, shit! That's strike three! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2464 I think he learned it from his trip south of the border. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2465 The Rapture just isn’t bringing us the talent we thought it would . 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2466 The last time we had a piñata, it was full of dinosaurs. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2467 God throws the worst birthday parties. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2468 No, there's nothing inside 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2469 You think we've had too many birthdays recently? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2470 In human time, each swing is the length of a presidential term. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2471 michael-avenatti-anthony-saramucci-donald-trump-michael-cohen-stephen-colbert-late-show-video- 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2472 Hard to say which is the bigger miracle that he keeps missing or that humans haven't completely destroyed it yet either. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2473 Ok, but I’m taking it down in 2020 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2474 The new guy is Donald, and he took to the world piñata game instinctively. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2475 This isn’t how I pictured global denuclearization would happen 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2476 He struggled in Little Angel League, too 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2477 Apostle Paul's idea? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2478 Don't call it a comeback. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2479 He thinks he can stand in the middle of Heaven, do this, and not lose his wings. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2480 He misses maybe once in five billion years. Watch what happens next. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2481 If we're the better angels, what does it say about their nature. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2482 And on the 8th day,” am I right? Want more punch 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2483 It’s just filled with used plastic bags. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2484 Tsunamis don't count. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2485 And here we have the Mexican-themed recreation room. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2486 And yet he looks down on us, as if he's a "better" angel. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2487 We only play this when they predict the end of the world. He missed in 2012. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2488 He mastered pin the tail on the donkey so now he thinks he can conquer the world. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2489 It's about time, isn't it? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2490 I love that chewy iron-nickel center. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2491 He thinks that piñata contains a heavenly solution to their troubles. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2492 Nice shot Gabriel! You got Africa again! 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2493 I hope we get dinosaurs like last time. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2494 Fake Swing! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2495 I believe that's what they call Percussive Maintenance. 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2496 You-know-who doesn't find this amusing. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2497 It was either this or cornhole. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2498 Remember that time he nicked it and all the dinosaurs died? 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2499 You said there'd be nachos. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2500 NASA tracks our stick as a Near Earth Object. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2501 It's a little game we call Armageddon.” 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2502 All of us will get a turn. These plastic coated ones are tough. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2503 If he makes contact that will be seven more days of work for us! 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2504 He still thinks that it's all about him' 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2505 Don’t get too excited, this one’s only filled with nuts 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2506 I'm glad he missed. All that animosity in the Western Hemisphere might be contagious. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2507 I hear he came close a few millennia ago. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2508 I guess we're just here to pick up the pieces. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2509 He poopooed the analytics, failing to recognize that the earths gravitational forces require an adjustment to his normal uppercut swing. 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
2510 You know that’s not a piñata! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2511 I told him not to bat cross-handed, for God's sake. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2512 He was a solid hitter for the Los Angeles Angels! 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2513 This is why the Earth's round. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2514 Last time? Hit Hawaii's sweet spot. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2515 Well, SOMEBODY thought he was good. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2516 Here I thought this was going to be “the end of the world as we know it”, but the good news is “I feel fine...” 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2517 Frankly, I don't think Casey could hit it without the blindfold" 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2518 It's a good thing we do this only once an eon. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2519 Where did they find a tree big enough to hold it? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2520 It's no fun any more since they made the treats inside non-GMO, gluten and dairy free. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2521 His name's Dave Kingman. Used to play for the Mets. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2522 He used to let us hit it without the blindfold, but lately He seems to be feeling sorry for it. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2523 It's been 4 billion years...you think he would have hit it by now! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2524 Reminds Me of an Angels vs Dodgers Game I Saw Once. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2525 I heard that if he hits it open, hopelessness and mass destruction come out. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2526 Aren't we a little old for this? 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2527 Since we all know how this is going to end, why do we keep doing it? 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2528 We could remove the blindfold and he would still miss the point. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2529 They say his name is Lucifer, and he brought the bat from a place called "Hell." 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2530 Atlas shrugged off the catcher 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2531 So heaven is just a metaphor after all. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2532 Take it from me - don’t eat the candy that falls out. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2533 It seems so small now 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2534 This was more fun when there were dinosaurs. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2535 This is how he picks which friends to embargo 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2536 I'd still say let's Mueller finish before we go global 1.1848 0.04069 92 75 17 0
2537 Values?,.,,Just imagine it's Trump's head. 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2538 The boss said, 'Just don't think you'll get a swipe at the real thing.' 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2539 It maybe funny now, but wait till the boss comes back. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2540 After all that, I'm curious to see what's inside. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2541 It's no worse than what humans have done to it. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2542 He can't hit Trump's curve balls. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2543 We'll break it eventually. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2544 I wonder how the "Flat Earth" folks will compensate. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2545 He only has until it blows itself up. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2546 I always thought money made the world go 'round. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2547 If he's always that bad, Adam and Eve probably could have stayed in the Garden without fear. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2548 No wonder they can't predict the rapture 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2549 Yeah, there could be some unseen consequences, but it's a downer to bring that up about at a birthday party. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2550 It’s called an earthquake. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2551 After it cracks open, candy will fall out, and we’ll race to get as much candy as we can. But, I’ll collect more candy than you. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2552 The idea that Earth spins around the Sun was batted around well before Copernicus. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2553 I hear they call this a Piñata down there and it's full of candy. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2554 Your turn, Donald 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2555 It's a compromise between the Electoral College and direct elections. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2556 .... this is whirled peace? on earth! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2557 I think God's finally given up on Earth.... 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2558 God only knows what’s going to happen once it breaks open 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2559 He thinks he can shatter the blind faith of the world! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2560 It puts a whole new 'spin' on guardian angel! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2561 I’d wager he was a former Met! 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2562 He's no longer the world beater he was as a cherub. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2563 He realizes we were told not to do this again after what happened in the last election. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2564 This could get interesting. He calls the stick his "Trump." 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2565 November 8, 2016 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2566 It may be sinful - but i wanted him to miss. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2567 He was a California Angel and couldn't hit the side of a barn 1.1848 0.05558 92 81 5 6
2568 Surely he can't miss 2019 times in a row. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2569 Look away, the magma's about to go everywhere. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2570 This is the Cinco de Mayo from Hell. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2571 There goes the Middle East again 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2572 Just wait, this is going to be even better than when we flooded it! 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2573 The last time he hit it, a bunch of dinosaurs cane tumbling out. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2574 He used to be in politics. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2575 I'll bet we can trade him to the Mets 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2576 Yippee, blazing-hot magma for everybody. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2577 How did we wind up in heaven anyway? 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2578 Sometimes Jesus is a tad vindictive. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2579 He played for the Angels during their down years 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2580 Relax Peter, it's just a prank. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2581 Apparently justice is not the only thing that is blind. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2582 Justice is blind. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2583 I just hope he leaves the ozone layer intact this time. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2584 He's been at it since the summit. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2585 Hasn't been close in millennia. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2586 They've got ice cream at the party downstairs... Wanna come with? 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2587 His batting average is 237, he's not getting in. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2588 I kind of miss earth too. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2589 Is this what happened to Pluto? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2590 I doubt this is what Sinatra had in mind. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2591 We're going to be here for eternity... 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2592 How long until tug of warring nations? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2593 Every time he swings, Trump sends out another Tweet. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2594 I've always liked pin the tail on the devil better. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2595 This party isn't going to end happily. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2596 Science is right about everything except why the dinosaurs went extinct. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2597 I told him, fine, if you can hit it, we'll ditch the whole dinosaur idea. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
2598 The Mercator projection is sooooo 16th Century. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2599 There's no candy in it, but it's completely covered with nuts. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2600 So much for his perfect game!!! 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2601 Forgive me Sid but, this one time, I'm rooting against Gehrig. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2602 It's just hot magma and the radio-active core in the center. It's just as well we miss. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2603 He's nothing but solar wind. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2604 Played for the Cubs before he got here. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2605 We’ve been trying to smash it for millennia without success. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2606 Is the end of this game near? 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2607 Wow! If he makes contact, he's going to send that thing into orbit! 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2608 He’ll never bust it in 4.5 billion years.... 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2609 They never took good care of it anyway 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2610 Three strikes and you lose your wings ! 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2611 You see, there is no order to the universe. It's all random. How else could Trump get elected. 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
2612 I understand Sinatra's version is the best, but this is a little ridiculous. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2613 He has been practicing for over a year. It’s called “The Donald Thump.” 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2614 Our ruler is tired of rolling the dice. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2615 To say, some earthlings think disturbances are due to global warming... 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2616 Blindfolded AND a poor sense of smell. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2617 You know, Satan got it on his first swing. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2618 Since missing the dinosaur asteroid he's really upped his game. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
2619 Let’s see how hard he can hit it this time. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2620 If he is predestined to hit it, then I'm complaining to the Boss. 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
2621 It feels like he's been at it for an eternity. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
2622 It's a very Zen thing... 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2623 Wow! They know how to throw a fun party in heaven! 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
2624 He never did have first-strike capability. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
2625 They won't feel deja vu this time. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2626 Once every couple hundred million years or so Michael takes a blind swipe at it to see if he can knock the magnet out. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2627 He doesn't have a prayer. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
2628 I hear the dinosaurs are getting a little too cocky. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
2629 He must have faked his resume'. 1.1828 0.05284 93 81 7 5
2630 The Big Guy said if you're gonna play this game,you better be prepared to pick up the pieces. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2631 So, is this really how Trump got elected? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2632 Did your invite say "piña coladas served"? 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2633 If he breaks it, I'm going for the apple. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2634 Ten bucks says nothing of value comes out. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2635 So, who's going to break it to him that the clouds can't catch the candy? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2636 Somehow, I don't think it's gonna be filled with candy... 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2637 We don't know what happens if we hit it, but it's bound to be interesting. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2638 The last time he hit Earth the Dinosaurs went bye bye. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2639 Really happy he hit another asteroid. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2640 His last party wiped out the dinosaurs. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2641 Red hot candy is inside. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2642 They always swing for the clouds at first. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2643 What's with Him answering Bannon's prayers? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2644 Babe who? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2645 Good thing there's no people on it. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
2646 Missed! That's Michael! No Judgment Day! 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2647 Swing, batter, batter,batter,...Swing! 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2648 It's a break from our usual routine. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2649 who took the blame for last week's Tide pods? 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2650 I think there's about to be a very big earthquake. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2651 You don't think that piñata is in bad taste? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2652 This is going to hit the fan. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2653 Each decade we lower the piñata another inch 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2654 Is this the next phase of Climate Change? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2655 The angel who tortured Job still holds the record. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
2656 Talk about a change in the climate. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2657 I shouldn't have told him there was candy inside. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2658 When the Mets released him he wasn't doing much better 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2659 This is how Fate decides who gets the hardest hit during hurricane season, 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2660 That "Let's Make Heaven Great Again" stuff landed him here. He'll be swinging wildly here, too, for eternity. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2661 With the current administration we can't play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey." 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2662 I heard the boss man filled it with molten metals and dirt. So I’m pretty excited. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
2663 I've heard of swinging on a star, but this?! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2664 The last time he hit it, it was full of candy dinosaurs. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
2665 This was funnier with Jupiter. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2666 You can stop. They're doing it for us. 1.1798 0.05434 89 78 6 5
2667 I heard his bat isn’t regulation. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2668 He said it's so easy, even blindfolded, he could knock it out of the universe. I'm giving him three strikes. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2669 The Big Guy's taking a nap, I'm guessing? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2670 Look at us. For a price, we change orbits - 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2671 And they still won't let Mexicans up here no matter how much we appropriate their culture. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2672 All the fallen angels are left-handed. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2673 Swing and a miss strike 3 and your out 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2674 Huh, I guess the Earth never really did revolve around the sun after all. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
2675 If we used Mars we would have have less patrons up here! 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
2676 It’s his earthday. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
2677 Play for the angels? He doesn't have a prayer. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2678 Tell me when I'm on point with U.S.A. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
2679 Let’s get Hank Aaron in here to do this right. 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
2680 Why he is swinging for the fences? This piñata is just filled with disappointment. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2681 you will soon see a lot of angry people falling out 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2682 I told you we should've gotten Jupiter instead 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2683 I thought we had a wall. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2684 Personally, I really don't think it's a bit funny that God would turn fate into a game! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2685 So he might get to try for another 4 years? 1.1744 0.05534 86 76 5 5
2686 Well, well - looks like they just avoided cataclysmic destruction again; do you want to double-down? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2687 Sure, it's just a game to you! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2688 He's aiming for the wall between the U.S. and Mexico. 1.1744 0.05534 86 76 5 5
2689 Once Trump is inaugurated we'll take off the blindfold. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2690 I hope the treats are crunchy in the middle. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2691 With a blindfold he's just winging it! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2692 It's part of his punishment for striking out at management in the last World Series 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2693 Well someone didn't get the memo that cultural appropriation isn't cool anymore. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2694 Tony says they're now stopping us at the border. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2695 He's been doing this since the dawn of time, but one of these days: Wham! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2696 He can't handle the curve ball. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2697 I bet this was God's idea... 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2698 I told you we should have given him the bigger ones first. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2699 You won't believe what happens if he hits North America. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2700 One spin to move the globe from left to right! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2701 He's hopeless, but he won't give anyone else a turn 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2702 Angel of the Apocalypse, taking another swing. We keep him liquored up. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2703 He wants to make heaven great again. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2704 For an Archangel, Michael is pretty hoggy with the Piñata. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2705 So, this is what’s happening to the glaciers. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2706 You know he can see right thru that blindfold! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2707 One of these times Astroid is going to nail that thing. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2708 He always speaks softly, but he added a stick. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2709 I call dibs on the Milky Way 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2710 I guess that means the initial meeting with Trump and Kim Jong-un went well. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2711 Climate change? What's that? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2712 Relax. The last time he hit it on his birthday was 63,000,000 BC. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2713 Well, it was supposed to be easier now that it’s not flat... 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2714 He doesn't know the dinosaurs went extinct - oh boy, he's not going enjoy those little pink things" 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2715 With that swing, I say we trade him to the Cardinals. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2716 Can't wait to see how they spin this isn a Hollywood blockbuster 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2717 Former .366 Please humor him. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2718 I hope HE keeps jerking the rope. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2719 So if he destroys it, the overpopulation problem here's done and dusted, right? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2720 It’s a new game called ‘Climate Change’. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2721 I always assumed Bob was a mainstream Republican 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2722 He's just up from Washington. Keep an eye on him! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2723 Every day a birthday and they still love us. 1.1744 0.05534 86 76 5 5
2724 Earthquakes are fairly random. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2725 We used to use the flat version and it took forever. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2726 His swing is heavenly. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2727 The Big Guy said it's time for a change. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2728 He'll have to start doing a lot better than that – last time he made contact all he did was blow a couple of measly volcanoes! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2729 He said it was all going to pieces now anyway. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
2730 We got it from Mexico. Gave them 'Pin The Tail on The Donald'. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2731 We might need a larger planet 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2732 Shh. The rookies don’t know it’s just filled with rocks. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2733 He's trying out for the Los Angeles Angels. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2734 I'm having a hard time getting a footing. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2735 I heard it's packed full of plastic this year. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2736 We got out just in time ahead of the global collapse. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2737 He's new. We call him Trump. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2738 In the other place, it unleashes demons and hard candy. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
2739 It's warming up, and so is she. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
2740 Gabriel's on my softball team. It's going out with a whimper, at best. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2741 A good hit is more destructive than a major asteroid 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2742 The last time we did this there was a Big Bang 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
2743 ~He's given up on saving the environment~ 1.1744 0.05015 86 74