Contest #618


Cartoon

618

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Well, of course they don’t exist. Now.”
  2. “I’m still cleaning the glitter out of the truck.”
  3. “I also have a centaur, but it makes people uncomfortable.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-05-27T18:47:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-06-17T19:06:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-06-11T18:47:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued June 18th, 2018
Number of captions 7070
Number of responses 1376577
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Strangely enough, you are the first person to ask about the clock. 1.9581 0.00843 9373 3327 3112 2934
1 Well of course they don’t exist. Now. 1.9346 0.00823 9735 3546 3280 2909
2 It’s on the enchanted species list. 1.8988 0.00803 9602 3504 3566 2532
3 The damn thing had been leaving rainbows all over my lawn. 1.8898 0.00860 8564 3237 3034 2293
4 Well, sure, but I never would have believed in a Trump presidency, either. 1.8830 0.00887 8539 3428 2682 2429
5 And this is a unicorn, a rare being most don’t even believe exists. Come to think of it, you have a lot in common with him, Black Guy In A New Yorker Cartoon. 1.8778 0.00851 9626 4018 2766 2842
6 I figured nobody would believe me so I shot it. 1.8731 0.00951 7327 2949 2359 2019
7 Bagged the Emu while on Safari. Bagged the unicorn while on LSD. 1.8656 0.00899 8117 3280 2648 2189
8 It's hard to get off a good shot once that carousel gets moving. 1.8598 0.00829 9286 3708 3172 2406
9 It was hit or myth. 1.8490 0.00809 9988 4133 3230 2625
10 I glued the horn on. I didn't want the grand-kids to know I accidentally shot a horse. 1.8428 0.00906 8115 3438 2515 2162
11 Where did you get the clock? 1.8288 0.00847 9274 4012 2838 2424
12 I also have a centaur, but it makes people uncomfortable. 1.8168 0.00843 9006 3858 2940 2208
13 And then, just when I thought he'd gotten away, the carousel circled around again and I got a clean shot. 1.8167 0.00896 7868 3335 2640 1893
14 Some say they are extinct. Some don’t believe they ever existed at all. It’s called an “Analog Clock”. 1.8084 0.01186 4854 2211 1362 1281
15 Of course I felt bad...I was aiming for the leprechaun. 1.8069 0.00905 7674 3298 2560 1816
16 Turns out they're magical but not particularly swift. 1.8007 0.00875 7663 3164 2862 1637
17 In my defense, it came out of nowhere. 1.8003 0.00840 8794 3783 2984 2027
18 I found it in the same place where Fox News gets its stories. 1.7856 0.00985 7121 3388 1872 1861
19 I’m still cleaning the glitter out of the truck. 1.7697 0.00869 8012 3560 2737 1715
20 Killing this one took some imagination. 1.7688 0.01057 5454 2437 1841 1176
21 Most people thought it didn't exist. And now it doesn't. 1.7542 0.01676 2213 1026 705 482
22 Coney Island carousel; 1969. Got him on the rise. 1.7538 0.00906 7343 3340 2471 1532
23 Don’t worry, it died of imaginary causes. 1.7490 0.01000 6140 2847 1987 1306
24 It’s okay. They’re mythical, not endangered. 1.7466 0.00884 7427 3332 2645 1450
25 Yes, I am that much of an asshole. 1.7453 0.00997 6706 3306 1802 1598
26 Extinct? Well, yeah - now. 1.7253 0.00928 7113 3422 2223 1468
27 The gun mythfired. 1.7242 0.00926 7354 3613 2156 1585
28 It would be a much better story if I hadn't hit it with the car. 1.7124 0.00983 6216 3019 1966 1231
29 And that's the last time I spoke with my daughter. 1.7076 0.01436 2856 1380 931 545
30 I joined a fantasy hunting league. 1.6962 0.00982 6158 3049 1931 1178
31 Well, I killed off something that doesn't exist and next thing I knew I was named chairman of the Republican plan to help the poor. 1.6960 0.01374 3484 1836 871 777
32 Now it's MY little pony. 1.6955 0.00934 7231 3716 2001 1514
33 I was aiming for a deer but I mythed. 1.6952 0.01459 2907 1477 839 591
34 Surprisingly, a lot like chicken. 1.6938 0.01025 5819 2942 1717 1160
35 You're right. With my glasses on, it's definitely not a rhino. 1.6877 0.00990 5805 2841 1936 1028
36 It turns out there is a magic bullet. 1.6862 0.01383 3066 1530 968 568
37 It's not what you think - I used too long a mounting screw 1.6768 0.01079 5452 2897 1420 1135
38 No, no... they used to be imaginary. Now they're extinct. 1.6763 0.01065 5187 2636 1594 957
39 First you have to believe, then you shoot. 1.6622 0.01001 5584 2824 1822 938
40 I’m not allowed back at Disneyland. 1.6558 0.00970 6238 3273 1839 1126
41 No, ... Right here in Greenwich, ... at my daughters 8th Birthday Party. 1.6558 0.01572 2292 1179 723 390
42 It was a mess, actually. Glitter everywhere. 1.6553 0.01044 5153 2642 1645 866
43 3D printer. My wife thinks its real. 1.6453 0.01116 4728 2528 1349 851
44 I came across it the same place you can find Trump's tax return and Paul Ryan's spine. 1.6413 0.01217 4307 2422 1008 877
45 The rich hunt the exotic. But the super rich hunt the imaginary. 1.6399 0.01110 4593 2423 1401 769
46 ...And that was the last day my daughter ever spoke to me. 1.6394 0.01064 5117 2738 1486 893
47 It's only illegal if it actually exists. 1.6386 0.01150 4106 2124 1342 640
48 Did I every tell you about my safari to Narnia? 1.6329 0.01788 1716 901 544 271
49 It was either hit or myth 1.6311 0.01072 5094 2776 1421 897
50 These days, there’s wildlife, and there’s alternative wildlife. 1.6305 0.01110 4704 2554 1334 816
51 The president just tweeted that he bagged a bigger one with more horns 1.6305 0.01309 3737 2141 836 760
52 I was lucky, I got the very last one. 1.6278 0.01610 2125 1128 660 337
53 It sums up the whole entitled, rich white guy thing pretty well, I think. 1.6161 0.01240 3780 2102 1027 651
54 Next I'm hunting for a politician that tells the truth. 1.6148 0.01489 2687 1517 688 482
55 Like veal but with a different kind of guilt. 1.6107 0.01240 3676 2033 1041 602
56 The hard part was getting a hunting license in Narnia. 1.6094 0.01220 3904 2195 1039 670
57 Difficult kill. Damn thing kept going up and down and around and around. 1.6051 0.01831 1689 943 470 276
58 Of course, back then, we didn't hunt them because they're rare - we shot them because we thought they were gay 1.5974 0.01459 2809 1633 674 502
59 Yes.....but he identifies as an Impala.... 1.5939 0.01506 2433 1366 689 378
60 Its magical beauty filled me with awe and wonder. So I shot it. 1.5922 0.01264 3661 2122 910 629
61 My granddaughter is still not talking to me. 1.5892 0.01789 1653 916 500 237
62 For that one I needed a hunting license AND a poetic license. 1.5833 0.01617 2090 1188 585 317
63 The cleanup was the hardest part. There was glitter everywhere. 1.5818 0.01493 2401 1354 697 350
64 And that was the moment I realized it was a children's birthday party. 1.5779 0.01567 2303 1342 591 370
65 I bagged that one on a four-day acid trip back in '67. 1.5760 0.01639 1979 1123 572 284
66 They were protected, under Obama. 1.5759 0.01417 2768 1605 732 431
67 Yeah, that was a tough one. The kid on the merry-go-round put up quite a fight. 1.5758 0.01291 3180 1803 923 454
68 It's great living in an era when they've loosened gun AND drug laws 1.5734 0.01862 1561 897 433 231
69 It turned out to be two guys in a unicorn suit for a birthday party, but I had it mounted anyway. 1.5718 0.01409 2819 1650 726 443
70 The irony is, I shot it with an imaginary gun. 1.5705 0.01381 2829 1631 782 416
71 Of course, my daughter said she will never speak to me again. 1.5698 0.01374 2808 1608 800 400
72 No, surprisingly they're not protected 1.5669 0.01405 2646 1512 768 366
73 Shooting it was easy. Bringing it back through the Looking Glass was the hard part. 1.5628 0.01525 2269 1311 639 319
74 Long story short, that's why my daughter doesn't speak to me anymore. 1.5628 0.01876 1457 831 432 194
75 Zimbabwe, South Africa and, of course, Narnia. 1.5626 0.01493 2403 1399 656 348
76 It just came out of nowhere. 1.5562 0.01580 2154 1269 572 313
77 Any more of those brownies? 1.5561 0.01605 2149 1283 537 329
78 Ran him down on my unicycle. 1.5555 0.01614 2119 1265 531 323
79 Like Chinese astrology, I assign an animal to mark each year. The antelope wall mount recalls a fast moving year full of action, the unicorn showcases a mystical year, and on its right, that mount depicts a year full of …well, you get the idea. 1.5550 0.01664 2036 1228 486 322
80 And I shot that one somewhere over the rainbow. 1.5545 0.01580 2083 1212 587 284
81 That idiot Donald Jr. sold it to me for half price because there's only one horn. 1.5534 0.01665 2051 1245 477 329
82 Yeah, I know. My granddaughter still won't speak to me. 1.5514 0.01631 1984 1168 538 278
83 It’s perfectly legal under new federal regs. 1.5506 0.01656 1938 1146 517 275
84 It’s extinct now. It was called an analog clock. Not sure what that is above it. 1.5502 0.01679 1921 1146 493 282
85 Spied her in a clearing right next to a fiscally responsible Republican. 1.5490 0.01762 1889 1172 397 320
86 And they said they didn't exist... well actually, now they don't. 1.5462 0.01722 1809 1082 466 261
87 Lucky shot. I was aiming for the leprechaun. 1.5458 0.01704 1770 1039 496 235
88 Took it with my Myth & Wesson 1.5449 0.01783 1749 1065 415 269
89 To this day, I still find glitter in the back of my truck. 1.5444 0.01731 1736 1027 473 236
90 I’m banned from the carousel in the park for life but it was worth it. 1.5441 0.01733 1759 1048 465 246
91 I think it really proclaims to the world what a total asshole I am. 1.5427 0.01784 1769 1087 404 278
92 I bagged that one in the Sixties on an acid trip. 1.5413 0.01792 1670 1006 424 240
93 Damned if I know. We were all stoned at the time. 1.5399 0.01777 1630 967 446 217
94 Yes, but to be honest my daughter already hated me. 1.5396 0.01828 1618 981 401 236
95 I rode that merry-go-round for two days before I got a clean shot. 1.5389 0.01792 1605 954 437 214
96 I tracked her through the lollipop forest, then the gumdrop foothills; I thought I had lost her and then suddenly there she stood, flanked by rainbows on the top of sugarloaf mountain -- and I took her! 1.5378 0.01928 1575 993 317 265
97 Yeah. My bad. 1.5368 0.01857 1537 928 393 216
98 There's an interesting story behind where I got that clock. 1.5367 0.01821 1554 927 420 207
99 He was standing in the clearing with a principled Republican, so I decided to shoot the less-endangered one. 1.5356 0.01904 1533 947 351 235
100 If you wear rainbow camouflage they never see you coming. 1.5328 0.01837 1464 863 422 179
101 I got that one last year in Narnia. 1.5319 0.01873 1442 860 397 185
102 That’s a misconception. They’re all over the place out in Silicon Valley. 1.5314 0.01836 1432 838 427 167
103 Wow! So that clock is made of real mahogany? 1.5305 0.01936 1408 857 355 196
104 I bagged him before the drugs wore off. 1.5301 0.01854 1394 815 419 160
105 It was a good thing I had my glitter gun. 1.5282 0.02010 1348 835 314 199
106 So much for that fairy tale ending 1.5260 0.01992 1308 796 336 176
107 The magical and enchanting unicorn appears to only a rare few and has the ability to bestow magic, miracles and wisdom to those who are pure of heart and virtuous in their deeds. So, I shot it. 1.5253 0.02045 1302 810 300 192
108 Yes, finding a Unicorn is more likely than winning the New Yorker Caption Contest. 1.5247 0.01987 1315 802 336 177
109 Wait til you see my honest politician in the next room. 1.5220 0.02097 1249 784 278 187
110 The hard part was shooting the leprechaun off his back. 1.5205 0.02020 1222 738 332 152
111 Ed was a remarkable horse in so many ways. More than anything he loved drag, so when he went we knew we had to so something fabulous. 1.5185 0.02121 1186 739 279 168
112 I didn't realize hunting had a fantasy league. 1.5181 0.02000 1214 728 343 143
113 To kill it, you have to believe in it first. 1.5181 0.02027 1214 736 327 151
114 That was the day my daughter stopped talking to me. 1.5171 0.02073 1199 738 302 159
115 The mythical creature permit was surprisingly easy to get under the Trump administrations new rules for fake animals. 1.5152 0.02209 1120 709 245 166
116 I told my daughter that if she didn't eat her vegetables, a unicorn would die. She eats them now. 1.5138 0.02177 1125 706 260 159
117 Yes, NOW there's no such thing as unicorns. 1.5134 0.02132 1083 658 294 131
118 Not exactly a fairy-tale ending, was it Stan? 1.5133 0.02107 1089 657 305 127
119 My wife thought the room looked too masculine. 1.5129 0.02097 1082 649 311 122
120 Of course it's fake, but the Base thinks it is real. 1.5115 0.02317 1042 670 211 161
121 Entirely legal. Pruitt took them off the rare and endangered list. 1.5106 0.02218 1083 683 247 153
122 My granddaughter’s 6th birthday party didn’t go quite as expected. 1.5105 0.02128 1091 667 291 133
123 This one we bagged on one of our LSD trips. 1.5104 0.02158 1060 648 283 129
124 Turns out there was one. 1.5091 0.02129 1043 628 299 116
125 Endangered is a thrill, but mythical really gets the old ticker pumping. 1.5065 0.02189 993 602 279 112
126 I haven't seen one of those since Woodstock. 1.5063 0.02207 1029 637 263 129
127 The only thing that stops a magical beast with a horn is a good guy with a gun. 1.5060 0.02339 992 635 212 145
128 I'm tellin' you. The whole trip was just magical. 1.5037 0.02257 945 578 258 109
129 All I remember is that it was the '60s, in San Francisco.... 1.5028 0.03000 533 326 146 61
130 To this day I’m not allowed within 300 feet of a merry-go-round, but it was totally worth it, don’t you think? 1.5010 0.02263 966 600 248 118
131 They're only endangered if you actually believe in them. 1.5005 0.02271 937 577 251 109
132 And that's why my daughter hasn't spoken to me in thirty years 1.5005 0.02364 937 596 213 128
133 My daughter hasn't spoken to me since. 1.5000 0.02330 950 601 223 126
134 You toss out a handful of Skittles in the right spot, and they just come running. 1.4983 0.02277 899 548 254 97
135 Trump administration lifted the ban. 1.4978 0.02360 924 586 216 122
136 That one was once the mascot of Trump University. 1.4960 0.02473 881 571 183 127
137 You don’t know what true fear is until you’re staring into the eyes of Princess Rainbow Sparkles from 20 feet away. 1.4949 0.02431 891 573 195 123
138 well now they don't exist 1.4936 0.02444 857 546 199 112
139 Is that a cow up there? You shot a cow? 1.4932 0.02579 813 530 165 118
140 The first and last one cost me $85,000. The one in the middle cost me my grandkids. 1.4932 0.02404 876 556 208 112
141 His trophy wife is fake too. 1.4931 0.02419 866 550 205 111
142 There’s a really interesting story behind how I came to be in possession of that clock, if you have a few minutes. 1.4930 0.02422 854 540 207 107
143 The horn was added postmortem so my neighbor wouldn't figure out what happened to his horse. 1.4930 0.02462 854 547 193 114
144 Turns out they weren't actually extinct. They are now though. 1.4923 0.02372 845 524 226 95
145 What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know. 1.4918 0.02567 858 571 152 135
146 Needless to say, they'll never let me back on that carousel 1.4904 0.02527 830 539 175 116
147 Yes, they do exist. Sorry, 'did'. 1.4893 0.02386 844 528 219 97
148 Well, they did exist. 1.4892 0.02423 832 524 209 99
149 Lost my trophy wife over this. 1.4892 0.02435 832 526 205 101
150 I had the horn added later just to mess with my kids. 1.4885 0.02449 823 521 202 100
151 I was saving that spot for a picture of an ethical Republican President but settled for something more abundant. 1.4869 0.02567 801 522 168 111
152 Of course, they'll never let us on that merry-go-round again. 1.4866 0.02598 781 509 164 108
153 Of course, my position on unicorns has evolved since then. 1.4853 0.02362 783 476 234 73
154 The day after Trump lifted the ban, I was on a plane. 1.4840 0.02508 781 497 190 94
155 I don't know what you put in this drink, George, but if you don't mind, I'd like another. 1.4832 0.02435 772 479 213 80
156 Turns out they’re real...and delicious. 1.4823 0.02598 734 470 174 90
157 And here we have an alternative fact 1.4816 0.02652 735 479 158 98
158 LIMERICK: "I shot this magical beast...It made for a wonderful feast...Why should I mind,..If its the last of its kind...I'm an asshole, and don't care in the least." 1.4812 0.02586 744 478 174 92
159 The taxidermist cried the whole time 1.4794 0.02615 703 447 175 81
160 Not an easy shot. The carousel, it keeps going round, you know. 1.4790 0.02540 737 467 187 83
161 Running over the horse was an accident. Gluing a horn on his head, now that was genius. 1.4783 0.02619 690 437 176 77
162 I couldn’t believe it, so I just shot it. 1.4778 0.02571 722 459 181 82
163 That's nothing. You ought to see my butterfly collection. Ever heard of Tinkerbell? 1.4767 0.02591 709 451 178 80
164 Woodstock, in '69. Haven't seen one since then. 1.4761 0.02567 712 451 183 78
165 Finally, my horn section is complete. 1.4756 0.02667 698 452 160 86
166 Difficult to find, and even harder to find a good recipe for. 1.4753 0.02629 709 457 167 85
167 That's correct: they don't exist... anymore. 1.4744 0.02586 702 446 179 77
168 When did you say the bad luck started? 1.4741 0.02594 696 442 178 76
169 I must take you hunting there. It’s unreal. 1.4741 0.02586 696 441 180 75
170 Fake Gnus 1.4741 0.02740 694 459 141 94
171 Yes, extrememly rare. Central Park carousel 1874. 1.4738 0.02640 688 441 168 79
172 No one thought Trumps would get elected either 1.4732 0.02632 691 443 169 79
173 Everyone asks about the clock. 1.4727 0.02729 677 443 148 86
174 I thought it was a deer until it farted a rainbow. 1.4720 0.02770 661 434 142 85
175 What’s in this tea? 1.4711 0.02694 675 438 156 81
176 My wife wouldn’t let me mount the leprechaun. 1.4709 0.03034 516 331 127 58
177 And in the next room I have functioning congress. 1.4709 0.02817 669 448 127 94
178 ...and than he said "you can't shoot me, I don't exist". 1.4705 0.02625 661 418 175 68
179 Yep, Amazon... 1.4693 0.02684 667 431 159 77
180 Funny story, I was aiming for the Leprechaun. 1.4686 0.02648 653 415 170 68
181 When I pulled the trigger, I knew it was either hit or myth. 1.4685 0.02801 651 431 135 85
182 We nabbed that beauty in the year of magical thinking. 1.4676 0.03080 494 317 123 54
183 Much to my surprise, gentlemen, a lot like chicken. 1.4671 0.02693 638 408 162 68
184 Admittedly, my taxidermist has been known to use artistic license. 1.4666 0.02641 643 407 172 64
185 amazon prime 1.4649 0.02814 626 412 137 77
186 It's fake, of course, but it sure keeps the grandchildren quiet. 1.4649 0.02814 626 412 137 77
187 Well, it's extinct now. 1.4645 0.02852 620 411 130 79
188 Yup, you're an Asshole. 1.4640 0.02817 625 412 136 77
189 It was actually left in my bed by the Fairy Godfather. 1.4630 0.02897 594 393 127 74
190 Don't get him started. It's a neverending story. 1.4627 0.02777 603 389 149 65
191 ..but of course, we give a lot to conservation. 1.4625 0.02740 614 395 154 65
192 "And the Maiden riding her became my trophy wife". 1.4623 0.02859 610 404 130 76
193 Got 'em with my glitter gun. 1.4621 0.02901 593 393 126 74
194 This taxidermy display offends me almost as much as that horse's ass in the White House. 1.4620 0.03012 606 417 98 91
195 Surprisingly, not covered under the Endangered Species Act of 1973. 1.4619 0.02803 604 393 143 68
196 Yeah well, it was the sixties and we were out hunting on acid. 1.4618 0.02839 602 395 136 71
197 The meat tastes like cotton candy and snow cones, with a hint of marshmallow. 1.4613 0.02797 594 384 146 64
198 You wouldn't believe the amount of glitter in those things... 1.4610 0.02786 603 391 146 66
199 Isn't that clock an hour ahead? 1.4596 0.02847 594 390 135 69
200 Here, gentlemen, are the results of two African safaris... and one wild ride on a carousel. 1.4596 0.02766 594 382 151 61
201 Mystical, yes,,,, but surprisingly slow. 1.4595 0.02793 592 383 146 63
202 I followed it's glitter trail for over 4 miles before i cornered it under a rainbow. 1.4595 0.02783 592 382 148 62
203 After wiping out the endangered species, I was forced to hunt those that never existed. 1.4590 0.02914 573 378 127 68
204 And this one died when I grew up. 1.4584 0.02880 565 368 135 62
205 Got that one tripping' in the sixties ! 1.4584 0.02666 589 369 170 50
206 Sure, I feel guilty sometimes ... then I remind myself that I'm too rich to care. 1.4569 0.02825 580 377 141 62
207 Where did Frank say he went on his last safari? 1.4569 0.02793 580 374 147 59
208 Yes. Sixty years ago my imaginary friend shot this one. 1.4566 0.02923 576 383 123 70
209 That animal on the right . . . . Did you shoot a cow? 1.4566 0.02892 576 380 129 67
210 Is that clock right? 1.4558 0.02993 566 381 112 73
211 I didn't think Trump would win, either. 1.4545 0.02894 561 368 131 62
212 My other hobby is to take candy from children. 1.4544 0.02923 559 369 126 64
213 My daughter hasn't spoken to me since. 1.4532 0.02913 556 366 128 62
214 They also said evidence of collusion with the Russians doesn't exist. 1.4531 0.03019 554 374 109 71
215 Fake Gnus 1.4522 0.03116 544 374 94 76
216 I didn't see it myself until I believed it. 1.4519 0.02965 551 367 119 65
217 This clock belonged to my grandfather. 1.4516 0.03026 547 369 109 69
218 My granddaughter still isn't speaking to me. 1.4514 0.02839 545 351 142 52
219 Naw, it's really Nelly, our old mare. I got the horn from Amazon. 1.4507 0.02905 537 350 132 55
220 I don’t like to make too much of it, but let me just say — that carousel was moving really fast! 1.4505 0.02905 546 358 130 58
221 ...and I got this one pretty cheap since it’s missing a horn. 1.4505 0.03042 535 360 109 66
222 For the record, it was strictly self defense. 1.4504 0.02933 524 341 130 53
223 I think we used too big of a screw. 1.4500 0.02987 540 360 117 63
224 Hey Bill, what’s in these drinks! 1.4496 0.02885 536 348 135 53
225 I got that one off of eBay along with a Certificate of Authentication. 1.4495 0.02928 525 342 130 53
226 I understand that either Eric or Donald, Jr. shot her at Fantasyland on safari in Orlando. 1.4487 0.03093 526 357 102 67
227 Fox News blames Obamacare for their extinction. 1.4484 0.03050 533 360 107 66
228 Do you know how hard it is to find a taxidermist in Narnia? 1.4476 0.03013 525 350 115 60
229 I got lucky. It was the last one. 1.4476 0.03013 525 350 115 60
230 Bagged that one in Narnia. 1.4474 0.03022 523 349 114 60
231 My granddaughter will be so excited to see this. She's afraid they're not real. 1.4455 0.02998 514 340 119 55
232 Relax, I got it from IKEA. 1.4455 0.02985 514 339 121 54
233 I know they say shoot for your dreams, Stewart. But, damn. 1.4453 0.02978 494 321 126 47
234 It's just from a big plush stuffed animal toy, but it really freaked out the grandkids. 1.4442 0.03078 475 312 115 48
235 Bagged her during the year I spent as a woodland elf . . . after Yale, before Wharton. 1.4440 0.02959 482 310 130 42
236 This replaced a crucifix--the story is no less credible and a bit more fun to tell. 1.4433 0.03097 503 339 105 59
237 It turn out there is, in fact, a magic bullet! 1.4431 0.03001 501 330 120 51
238 The owner of the carousel was very upset. 1.4422 0.03063 493 328 112 53
239 That's nothing, we're having mermaid for dinner. 1.4422 0.03090 493 330 108 55
240 I didn't want to kill it, but who would have believed me? 1.4419 0.03169 482 326 99 57
241 I shot that one in Haight-Ashbury in the late 60's 1.4411 0.03027 492 325 117 50
242 I figure, why limit myself to fantasy football? 1.4411 0.03013 492 324 119 49
243 We have those same candlesticks. 1.4411 0.03067 492 328 111 53
244 Since they don't exist, I don't have to feel bad about killing one. 1.4407 0.03020 481 315 120 46
245 Honestly I did him a favor. Who wants to be the last of anything? 1.4389 0.03067 483 321 112 50
246 Technically, it wasn’t on the endangered species list. 1.4387 0.02961 481 312 127 42
247 Twenty-five years, and my daughter still hasn't forgiven me. 1.4387 0.03146 481 325 101 55
248 He granted me three wishes. I never got the last two. 1.4383 0.03040 470 308 118 44
249 I baited it with cupcakes, new-age music, and really positive vibes. 1.4374 0.03035 471 309 118 44
250 I thought I'd mythed. 1.4368 0.03200 467 317 96 54
251 I had it mounted years ago. I've just been keeping it in the basement until the girls went away to college. 1.4364 0.03045 472 311 116 45
252 By killing unicorns, we help conserve them for future generations 1.4356 0.03234 466 319 91 56
253 I used a crossbow for the one on the left and a hunting rifle for the one on the right. For the one in the middle, I just stopped believing. 1.4356 0.03161 466 314 101 51
254 I'm an asshole. 1.4354 0.03281 457 314 87 56
255 Well, you’re definitely going to hell for that one. 1.4354 0.03038 457 298 119 40
256 So I guess you’re probably wondering about the gardens gnomes now. 1.4351 0.03196 462 313 97 52
257 There was glitter everywhere! 1.4351 0.03225 462 315 93 54
258 Merry-go-round. Santa Monica Pier. 2008. 1.4348 0.03147 460 308 104 48
259 Bagging her was actually easy. But the manager of the carousel put up one hell of a fight. 1.4348 0.03162 460 309 102 49
260 No, I don't hunt. Turns out if you tickle 'em hard enough, the head falls right off. 1.4348 0.03024 460 300 120 40
261 Don’t ask, it was the sixties 1.4338 0.03003 461 300 122 39
262 Turns out rainbows make terrible camouflage. 1.4336 0.03202 452 305 98 49
263 OK, they were off of a carousel. How did you guess? 1.4336 0.03151 459 308 103 48
264 I was banned from all Disney parks for life, but it was worth it! 1.4336 0.03105 459 305 109 45
265 Yeah, but my daughter wouldn't speak to me for months after that one. 1.4333 0.03115 457 304 108 45
266 Note the left-handed twist, which is quite rare. 1.4333 0.03161 457 307 102 48
267 It's actually a gay rhinoceros. 1.4333 0.03176 457 308 100 49
268 I was actually aiming for universal healthcare. 1.4330 0.03306 455 315 83 57
269 I don't think you can truly appreciate a rare and beautiful thing until you've killed it and mounted its carcass on your wall. 1.4330 0.03062 455 299 115 41
270 I'll never forget this hunt. It was magical. 1.4327 0.03088 453 299 112 42
271 It was eating my roses. 1.4321 0.03223 442 298 97 47
272 The taxidermist was a real wizard. 1.4321 0.03042 449 293 118 38
273 I bagged it in Narnia. The hard part was getting it through the wardrobe. 1.4321 0.03139 449 299 106 44
274 Did I ever tell you why my daughter stopped talking to me? 1.4318 0.03274 447 306 89 52
275 I bagged that one in my granddaughter's bedroom. 1.4318 0.03258 447 305 91 51
276 I see an antelope, a bull, and more bull. 1.4318 0.03289 447 307 87 53
277 Yeah, got that one back in the 60s... 1.4318 0.03035 447 291 119 37
278 I mean, amazon just has EVERYTHING. 1.4305 0.03201 446 301 98 47
279 My daughter still hasn't forgiven me. 1.4305 0.03137 446 297 106 43
280 How the hell was I supposed to know it was a mythical creature. 1.4305 0.03121 446 296 108 42
281 My granddaughter is not speaking to me. 1.4302 0.03115 444 294 109 41
282 I hated to do it, but there was only one left. 1.4302 0.03147 444 296 105 43
283 Well, if they did exist, they don't anymore. 1.4302 0.03243 444 302 93 49
284 Well, they may be mythical, but at least they're not endangered. 1.4299 0.03075 442 290 114 38
285 Yeah, we got real lucky. They say there was only one left. 1.4299 0.03108 442 292 110 40
286 Big game reserve. Candyland. 1.4299 0.03092 442 291 112 39
287 Under this administration, it's open season on EVERYTHING! 1.4292 0.03259 438 298 92 48
288 The story behind this one is unbelievable. 1.4289 0.03103 443 293 110 40
289 It didn't help at all, she actually wants to live with her mother even more now 1.4286 0.03199 434 291 100 43
290 But now it seems I'm on a hit list of a group of 11 year old girls. 1.4286 0.03281 434 296 90 48
291 Nice clock 1.4286 0.03267 448 308 88 52
292 I was on safari with Timothy Leary. 1.4273 0.03220 433 292 97 44
293 The rest is used to make glitter glue. 1.4273 0.03302 433 297 87 49
294 It was either a unicorn or an honest politician and I found the unicorn first! 1.4269 0.03297 431 295 88 48
295 I bagged this one on an acid trip. 1.4269 0.03146 431 286 106 39
296 No, now they're extinct. 1.4266 0.03242 429 290 95 44
297 Yeah, I thought about it, but then I said "What the hell". 1.4266 0.03258 429 291 93 45
298 I had two fantasies left: bagging a unicorn and winning the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. Now there's only one mountain left to climb. 1.4262 0.03286 427 291 90 46
299 Agreed. The LSD is kicking in. 1.4262 0.03201 427 286 100 41
300 "There's an imaginary penalty for hunting them.' 1.4262 0.03097 427 280 112 35
301 Don Jr. shot him at the Pride Parade. 1.4262 0.03352 427 295 82 50
302 And then it granted me one wish. 1.4258 0.03309 411 278 91 42
303 It is the only hunting story I have ever heard that begins with "Once upon a time..." 1.4256 0.03380 390 263 88 39
304 Now, for sure, they don't exist. 1.4256 0.03202 430 289 99 42
305 It's a highly evasive species. 1.4256 0.03269 430 293 91 46
306 Lucky for me, I got the last one. 1.4255 0.03190 416 276 103 37
307 Bagged that one on an LSD trip. 1.4248 0.03280 419 284 92 43
308 Why settle for being a jerk when you could be a monster? 1.4248 0.03349 419 288 84 47
309 Damn thing was going around in circles when I shot it. 1.4248 0.03045 419 271 118 30
310 Mr Trump said he shot that one himself 1.4248 0.03433 419 293 74 52
311 Imaginary, my ass. 1.4247 0.03307 405 273 92 40
312 My last safari had a real fairytale ending. 1.4242 0.03121 422 278 109 35
313 Illegal? Nah... that’s just a myth. 1.4236 0.03409 406 280 80 46
314 What's even more unbelievable is the taste. 1.4233 0.03404 404 278 81 45
315 It comes down before the grand kids show up. 1.4231 0.03152 416 275 106 35
316 Surprisingly, it tasted like chicken. 1.4231 0.03261 416 281 94 41
317 The clock is actually handcrafted in Germany. 1.4231 0.03170 416 276 104 36
318 So tragic! I didn't recognize him in his Halloween costume. 1.4231 0.03296 416 283 90 43
319 Fortunately, the United States doesn't have an extradition treaty with Narnia. 1.4227 0.03218 414 277 99 38
320 I swear, Donald thinks it's real. 1.4223 0.03389 412 285 80 47
321 They're real alright. It's the part about their poop tasting like ice cream that's the myth. 1.4216 0.03306 408 277 90 41
322 But if I'm honest with myself, it hasn't filled that gaping hole in my heart like I thought it would. 1.4216 0.03214 408 272 100 36
323 We met up somewhere over the rainbow. 1.4212 0.03168 406 268 105 33
324 Mythical. Didn't need a license. 1.4208 0.03292 404 273 92 39
325 In the divorce, Judy took everything but my taxidermy and my hallucinogens. 1.4208 0.03429 385 263 82 40
326 ...and the one on the right is from a herd of fake gnus. 1.4204 0.03396 402 277 81 44
327 Nice clock 1.4204 0.03285 402 271 93 38
328 A decline in the number of carousels has greatly reduced their numbers. 1.4204 0.03304 402 272 91 39
329 Yes, my daughter and I have been estranged for years. How did you guess? 1.4201 0.03311 407 277 89 41
330 I know a guy who knows a guy in Narnia. 1.4194 0.03272 391 261 96 34
331 None of them are real. I just like making my nieces cry. 1.4190 0.03365 401 275 84 42
332 That one I bagged from the merry go round at Coney Island. 1.4190 0.03252 401 269 96 36
333 It is fake. But you have to do something when you shoot your own horse. 1.4185 0.03433 399 277 77 45
334 Don't mean to brag, but my hunting skills are legendary. 1.4185 0.03185 399 264 103 32
335 I bet Don Jr would kill to have one of those. 1.4185 0.03377 399 274 83 42
336 That damn carousel kept spinning, but I kept shooting. It was much easier once everyone jumped off. 1.4185 0.03469 399 279 73 47
337 One in a million, really. The carousel stopped for a split second, and I took the shot. 1.4177 0.03439 395 274 77 44
338 Who shoots a bull? I mean, really. 1.4177 0.03439 395 274 77 44
339 Well I said to myself...they're just so damm cute I have to have one 1.4173 0.03318 393 266 90 37
340 Sure, it might have been more ethical just to take a picture of it, but who believes pictures these days. 1.4173 0.03238 393 262 98 33
341 I still don't see the elephant in the room. 1.4173 0.03303 405 276 89 40
342 Well, I wanted a wolf but apparently they're endangered. 1.4171 0.03190 398 264 102 32
343 I have Trump's Time Magazine cover around here too. 1.4165 0.03381 389 266 84 39
344 There she was, right next to the jackalope. 1.4165 0.03302 389 262 92 35
345 They don't stay rare by themselves. 1.4160 0.03433 387 267 79 41
346 They really do sell everything at IKEA. 1.4160 0.03374 387 264 85 38
347 I bought it from a leprechaun in Utopia. 1.4160 0.03471 387 269 75 43
348 I bagged that one on an acid trip in '68. 1.4160 0.03413 387 266 81 40
349 Luckily I had a magic bullet. 1.4156 0.03285 385 258 94 33
350 My wife says I ruined our daughter's sixth birthday party, but it really completes my collection. 1.4156 0.03326 385 260 90 35
351 Can you tell it’s a carrot? 1.4156 0.03366 385 262 86 37
352 And I caught this one while tripping on acid. 1.4156 0.03386 385 263 84 38
353 Yes, I was lucky. I got the very last one. 1.4156 0.03285 385 258 94 33
354 They are remarkably fast and taste like cotton candy. 1.4156 0.03264 385 257 96 32
355 And that, gentlemen, is how I lost my dental practice. 1.4149 0.03483 388 271 73 44
356 Its only magical power is to collect dust. 1.4149 0.03465 376 259 78 39
357 Finding an imaginary taxidermist proved to be quite difficult. 1.4141 0.03248 384 256 97 31
358 No, it was not a safari, but it was a carousel ride to remember. 1.4141 0.03431 384 265 79 40
359 My granddaughter is still not talking to me. 1.4141 0.03310 384 259 91 34
360 I ruined the birthday party but it was sooo worth it. 1.4141 0.03371 384 262 85 37
361 They're as rare as moderate Republicans. 1.4136 0.03302 382 257 92 33
362 I bagged that one on the Big Rock Candy Mountain. 1.4136 0.03239 382 254 98 30
363 Yeah, my daughter was pretty pissed. 1.4136 0.03504 382 267 72 43
364 So I guess you’re probably wondering about the gardens gnomes now. 1.4136 0.03343 382 259 88 35
365 Well... it beats my trophy wife! 1.4136 0.03404 382 262 82 38
366 Trump says they are real. 1.4136 0.03543 382 269 68 45
367 My guess is he was hunting in gnome man's land. 1.4136 0.03516 353 241 78 34
368 In the end they dropped the charges but banned me for life from the Magic Kingdom. 1.4132 0.03457 380 263 77 40
369 They said unicorns were catch and release but I said, “Screw you, I’m American.” 1.4132 0.03576 380 269 65 46
370 Turns out, if they aren’t real then they’re not on the endangered species list. 1.4129 0.03484 373 258 76 39
371 It may be a fictional creation, but remember we ourselves are cartoon characters. 1.4127 0.03470 378 262 76 40
372 Buying the hunting permit was no problem once I'd purchased the ambassadorship. 1.4127 0.03409 378 259 82 37
373 Technically, I didn't break any laws. 1.4125 0.03232 383 255 98 30
374 Of course my daughter doesn't see it that way. 1.4122 0.03338 376 254 89 33
375 They used to be rare, prior to Trump 1.4118 0.03414 374 256 82 36
376 I had to kill my childhood fantasies the day I went into finance. 1.4118 0.03476 374 259 76 39
377 I wanted the lion, but the dentist got there first. 1.4118 0.03538 374 262 70 42
378 The hard part was finding a discreet taxidermist. 1.4113 0.03276 372 248 95 29
379 When I smelled cotton candy, I knew we were downwind. 1.4108 0.03354 370 250 88 32
380 It wasn't on the endangered species list, so I figured it was fair game. 1.4108 0.03265 370 246 96 28
381 Then I thought to myself: What would Trump do? 1.4108 0.03482 370 256 76 38
382 Didn't taste the way you would think. 1.4107 0.03386 375 256 84 35
383 Strangely, this time I felt both virile AND feminine. 1.4106 0.03501 358 246 77 35
384 It was that or a trophy wife - that's cheaper. 1.4098 0.03466 366 252 78 36
385 The Unicorn ?? Its head was in my bed. 1.4098 0.03509 366 254 74 38
386 Still need the Yeti to complete the collection. 1.4098 0.03289 366 244 94 28
387 Well the real kicker is that we're not real either. 1.4093 0.03369 364 246 87 31
388 Did you know a unicorn without testicles is called a "eunuchorn". 1.4092 0.03467 369 255 77 37
389 My wife bought the unicorn and killed the other two with her car. 1.4087 0.03437 367 252 80 35
390 Lucky for me, the current administration lifted the ban on hunting them. 1.4087 0.03394 367 250 84 33
391 I lucked out, the Fish & Game guy said these things are mythical, don't require a license and there's no limit. 1.4087 0.03305 367 246 92 29
392 Horse died of old age. I bought the horn on E Bay. It was his dying wish. 1.4077 0.03529 363 253 72 38
393 I bagged that one during an acid trip in 1967. 1.4072 0.03543 361 252 71 38
394 This is my way of coming out. 1.4072 0.03455 361 248 79 34
395 Endangered? No, that's a myth. 1.4072 0.03433 361 247 81 33
396 I say, if it's not on the endangered list, it's fair game. 1.4072 0.03248 361 239 97 25
397 What did Joanne put in this punch? 1.4072 0.03499 361 250 75 36
398 The one I got on safari had a bigger, much bigger horn. It was really big, very big - the biggest anyone has ever seen. I'm the only one who could bag one like that. Obama never got one anywhere near that big. 1.4072 0.03608 361 255 65 41
399 I bagged them when the merry-go-round stopped. 1.4071 0.03421 366 251 81 34
400 This one I shot just for my daughter, and of course she never appreciates anything I do for her. 1.4071 0.03421 366 251 81 34
401 If they did exist , they don't anymore. 1.4046 0.03430 351 239 82 30
402 Guns don't kill unicorns. . . 1.4046 0.03593 351 246 68 37
403 Just between you and me this middle one is paper mache. 1.4040 0.03584 349 244 69 36
404 My wife wanted to visit Narnia and I wanted a hunting trip. We met in the middle. 1.4035 0.03481 347 238 78 31
405 It wasn’t about believing in him. It was about believing in myself. 1.4035 0.03552 347 241 72 34
406 Real, fake — what’s the difference? 1.4029 0.03557 340 235 73 32
407 Had to climb over a lot of little girls to get that one. 1.4025 0.03448 323 216 84 23
408 And I bagged this one on an NRA sponsored acid trip. 1.4023 0.03699 343 244 60 39
409 Things got out of hand at my granddaughter’s birthday party. 1.4018 0.03548 341 236 73 32
410 Took a lot of imagination to bag that one. 1.4018 0.03474 341 233 79 29
411 It was just too beautiful not to murder, decapitate and hang on my wall. 1.4017 0.03498 351 243 75 33
412 Getting him off the carousel was the toughest part. 1.4012 0.03513 339 233 76 30
413 I wanted an elephant, but they're getting so hard to find. 1.4006 0.03478 357 248 75 34
414 It's like the horn follows you around the room. 1.4000 0.03554 340 236 72 32
415 But the truly remarkable thing is that I got them all with my car. 1.4000 0.03505 340 234 76 30
416 My granddaughter still won't speak to me. 1.4000 0.03530 340 235 74 31
417 I was just following a trail of Skittles, and then there she was... 1.4000 0.03627 340 239 66 35
418 Let’s just say, my daughter still isn’t talking to me 1.3994 0.03544 338 234 73 31
419 Say, is that mantel clock an 1874 Waltham? 1.3994 0.03569 338 235 71 32
420 African Plains on the left, American Plains on the right, Astral Plains in the center ! 1.3988 0.03534 336 232 74 30
421 Interesting side-note: My neighbors never had a backyard birthday party ever again. 1.3988 0.03657 336 237 64 35
422 No, they don’t really exist. Anymore. 1.3988 0.03584 336 234 70 32
423 Of course, the grandkids aren’t speaking to me. 1.3988 0.03682 336 238 62 36
424 The one in the middle is fake news 1.3988 0.03608 336 235 68 33
425 Then I drank it’s blood and now I’m immortal. So...you wanna turn on the ballgame? 1.3982 0.03548 334 231 73 30
426 And that’s why my wife calls me a killjoy 1.3976 0.03486 332 227 78 27
427 All I had to do was follow the rainbow-colored poop. 1.3976 0.03679 327 230 64 33
428 I figured I'd get him before one of the Trump kids did. 1.3970 0.03615 335 235 67 33
429 I had a trophy wife but thought it would be tacky 1.3963 0.03721 328 233 60 35
430 I guess this explains that rainbow coming out of the chimney. 1.3957 0.03634 326 228 67 31
431 Oddly enough, it tasted like chicken. 1.3957 0.03712 326 231 61 34
432 Yes, their tears can heal. I’m completely cancer-free now, but the biggest bonus was that when my wife saw this, she walked out on me. These things are truly magical. 1.3952 0.03695 334 238 60 36
433 And that was the last time my daughter spoke to me. 1.3951 0.03650 324 227 66 31
434 My daughter was seven when I bagged that for her. Now she's an animal rights activist. 1.3944 0.03744 322 229 59 34
435 The unicorn population in Narnia was out of control. 1.3938 0.03491 320 218 78 24
436 It was a lucky shot, I was aiming for the Yeti. 1.3938 0.03682 320 225 64 31
437 Yeah it was on Election Day. How'd you know? 1.3938 0.03682 320 225 64 31
438 We used glitter to lure her out of the forest. 1.3938 0.03491 320 218 78 24
439 well now they don't exist 1.3931 0.03698 318 224 63 31
440 So, I'm thinking: what's more important, the loss of magic and wonder for all time or that spot over the mantle? 1.3931 0.03534 318 218 75 25
441 It wasn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination. 1.3924 0.03549 316 217 74 25
442 Ah,yes. That was a magical day. 1.3918 0.03468 319 217 79 23
443 The big challenge was getting it off the merry go around undetected. 1.3918 0.03580 319 221 71 27
444 Honestly, I’m more impressed that all three are level 1.3910 0.03636 312 217 68 27
445 Nah, it's not real. I just like to see my liberal friends' heads explode when they see it. 1.3910 0.03748 312 221 60 31
446 My granddaughters still aren't talking to me. 1.3910 0.03636 312 217 68 27
447 Is it any more strange than having real animals on the wall? 1.3910 0.03636 312 217 68 27
448 I think the eyelashes are fake. 1.3905 0.03748 315 224 59 32
449 And that unique one in the middle... is a retro clock I also got at Pottery Barn. 1.3903 0.03624 310 215 69 26
450 Endangered? No, that's a myth. 1.3903 0.03565 310 213 73 24
451 Hey !! Who dumped an ice-cream cone on its nose?? 1.3903 0.03874 310 224 51 35
452 Being on the board for Disney has some unbelievable perks. 1.3903 0.03681 310 217 65 28
453 It was the last one in the world so I killed it while I had the chance. 1.3903 0.03737 310 219 61 30
454 The hunt was unreal. 1.3903 0.03709 310 218 63 29
455 Surprisingly it tasted pretty much like chicken. 1.3898 0.03512 313 214 76 23
456 Then it fell asleep on her lap. The rest you know. 1.3896 0.03754 308 218 60 30
457 I shot this one in my sleep. 1.3896 0.03837 308 221 54 33
458 Do you know how hard it is to score a Unicorn permit? 1.3896 0.03551 308 211 74 23
459 Let's just say my daughter's tenth birthday party was a mess. 1.3896 0.03668 308 215 66 27
460 Bagged that one at little Christina's fantasy themed 10th birthday party. 1.3896 0.03865 308 222 52 34
461 You should've seen the taxidermist's face 1.3887 0.03758 301 212 61 28
462 It was born a unicorn. But it identifies as a deer. 1.3876 0.03675 307 215 65 27
463 They aren't that rare when you are on mushrooms. 1.3876 0.03704 307 216 63 28
464 I think your clock has stopped. 1.3876 0.03732 307 217 61 29
465 It's not what you think. I bagged it on a carousel in Brooklyn. 1.3876 0.03527 307 210 75 22
466 And I thought I wouldn't enjoy my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.3876 0.03497 307 209 77 21
467 From a distance it looked like a Democrat. 1.3876 0.03817 307 220 55 32
468 Now I'm enchanted forest public enemy number one. 1.3872 0.03671 297 206 67 24
469 It was November 7, 2016 ... just before the election ... Had I known it was bad luck ... 1.3869 0.03807 305 218 56 31
470 You eat my hostas, you hang on the wall. 1.3869 0.03542 305 209 74 22
471 Correction: they used to exist. 1.3869 0.03778 305 217 58 30
472 It wouldn't get off my lawn. 1.3869 0.03662 305 213 66 26
473 At first I thought "this can't be real." But I shot it anyway, just to be safe. 1.3869 0.03662 305 213 66 26
474 Bagged that one in Narnia. 1.3861 0.03795 303 216 57 30
475 After this one I had to close my dental practice. 1.3861 0.03708 303 213 63 27
476 It did not go over well with the grandkids. 1.3861 0.03708 303 213 63 27
477 I got that one during the safari I went on with the guys from my fantasy league. 1.3861 0.03679 303 212 65 26
478 Yep. Thought he could hide behind a rainbow. 1.3861 0.03558 303 208 73 22
479 For the best big game hunting you simply have to go to Narnia. 1.3861 0.03909 303 220 49 34
480 So, yeah, as you can see, I'm going to Hell. 1.3861 0.03824 303 217 55 31
481 Of course, my grand-daughters won't speak to me anymore. 1.3861 0.03795 303 216 57 30
482 It was going to be a gift for my daughter, but turns out that's not what she meant. 1.3860 0.04171 228 158 52 18
483 Yeah, I was hunting somewhere over the rainbow when I saw her. 1.3859 0.03782 298 211 59 28
484 They might be rare, but they are damned easy to track. Just follow the rainbows. 1.3857 0.03673 293 203 67 23
485 If the internet hated it when I shot that lion, they're gonna fucking hate this. 1.3856 0.03852 306 221 52 33
486 Bagged that one at the Central Park Carousel 1.3856 0.03623 306 213 68 25
487 And yet, I've never found Jesus. 1.3854 0.03956 301 220 46 35
488 I bagged that one on Fox News' Alternative Safari. 1.3854 0.03956 301 220 46 35
489 I didn't believe in Donald Trump either! 1.3854 0.03984 301 221 44 36
490 I got there before Don Jr. 1.3854 0.03784 301 214 58 29
491 It was fate. I was standing standing in just the right spot when the carousel stopped. 1.3854 0.03695 301 211 64 26
492 That's Dick Cheney for you. 1.3846 0.03712 299 210 63 26
493 Makes me wonder about that hole-in-one he claims to have shot too. 1.3846 0.03651 299 208 67 24
494 Naww, just a horse in a party hat. 1.3833 0.03579 300 207 71 22
495 As a product of Kansas public schools, I say it's real. 1.3826 0.03897 298 216 50 32
496 We thought we'd shoot that unicorn before they become extinct. 1.3823 0.03764 293 207 60 26
497 That was the from the Flat Earth Society big game hunt. 1.3823 0.03701 293 205 64 24
498 Needless to say, my daughter hasn't spoken to me since. 1.3821 0.03751 301 214 59 28
499 All the proceeds from the hunt went to for the preservation of endangered species. 1.3819 0.03746 288 202 62 24
500 I told you his hunting stories are more fantasy than fact 1.3814 0.03555 291 199 73 19
501 And this one I shot at my neices third birthday... 1.3814 0.03874 291 209 53 29
502 No...this kind of trophy hunting saves the unicorns. 1.3814 0.03965 291 212 47 32
503 They said it didn't exist, which wasn't true before. 1.3814 0.03812 291 207 57 27
504 I've developed a really wild story over the years, but to tell you the truth, my wife bought it at Party City. 1.3814 0.03686 291 203 65 23
505 Damn right it was the last one. 1.3813 0.03739 299 212 60 27
506 I shot that one at my granddaughter’s fifth birthday party. 1.3806 0.03831 289 206 56 27
507 Carousel. New Jersey. 1.3806 0.03703 289 202 64 23
508 And this is Princess Celestia from ‘My Little Pony’, she didn’t go down easy. 1.3806 0.03984 289 211 46 32
509 I bagged the one in the middle at F.A.O. Shwarz. 1.3806 0.03638 289 200 68 21
510 The Care Bear got away 1.3798 0.03621 287 198 69 20
511 It appeared from nowhere while I was eating mushrooms. 1.3798 0.03881 287 206 53 28
512 It's put a real chill on relations with the grandkids. 1.3798 0.03687 287 200 65 22
513 Oh, it had always been a fantasy of mine. 1.3798 0.03753 287 202 61 24
514 Yes, it is from a Carrousel, but it still wasn’t an easy shot. 1.3798 0.03785 287 203 59 25
515 Legendary? Well, now they are. 1.3789 0.03637 285 197 68 20
516 The downside is that I’m no longer Olivia’s “favorite Pop-Pop.” 1.3789 0.03738 285 200 62 23
517 Don Jr. and Eric know how to thank a big donor 1.3789 0.03803 285 202 58 25
518 The burgers were unbelievable 1.3789 0.03771 285 201 60 24
519 Usually I hunt for sport, but the unicorn was just a jerk. 1.3789 0.03771 285 201 60 24
520 Don't tell the other hunters, but I made it with a 3D printer. 1.3789 0.03803 285 202 58 25
521 I just followed the glitter. 1.3789 0.03836 285 203 56 26
522 Yeah, but my granddaughters will never speak to me again. 1.3789 0.03771 285 201 60 24
523 Hmm. Seems like your clock is a bit slow. 1.3789 0.03671 285 198 66 21
524 Where did you say you bagged the middle one again Mr. Cheney? 1.3789 0.03671 285 198 66 21
525 Its a trophy from the Ken Kesey collection... 1.3781 0.04075 283 209 41 33
526 And that's when she stopped calling me Daddy. 1.3781 0.03821 283 201 57 25
527 Ethel was driving, and he literally came out of nowhere. 1.3781 0.03654 283 196 67 20
528 ...incredibly rare, but Eric Trump shot it anyway. 1.3781 0.04013 283 207 45 31
529 Screw 'em, since they claim it doesn't exist they can't claim it's endangered. 1.3781 0.03886 283 203 53 27
530 Yes, they do fart cotton candy when stressed. 1.3781 0.03821 283 201 57 25
531 Finally, I'm free of the elephant in the room. 1.3776 0.03627 286 198 68 20
532 So, that's why the steaks were pink. 1.3776 0.03694 286 200 64 22
533 The eyelashes are obviously fake. 1.3776 0.03824 286 204 56 26
534 It was a magical night 1.3776 0.03559 286 196 72 18
535 Hey, if I hadn't shot it, some other self-indulgent rich guy would have. 1.3776 0.03760 286 202 60 24
536 I bet that clock’s a one in a million antique. 1.3772 0.03739 281 197 62 22
537 Tracking down that one took a LOT of imagination. 1.3772 0.03671 281 195 66 20
538 She died of natural causes at the end of the Age of Aquarius. 1.3772 0.03636 281 194 68 19
539 Alright, NOW they're extinct. 1.3772 0.03636 281 194 68 19
540 I’m starting to think some of these trophies might be fake 1.3772 0.03739 281 197 62 22
541 Well, they're not officially endangered, you know. 1.3772 0.03873 281 201 54 26
542 Sat under a rainbow for three days before she appeared. 1.3772 0.03636 281 194 68 19
543 From the clock store on 5th street 1.3772 0.03970 281 204 48 29
544 My daughter bagged that one, the day after she discovered boys. 1.3772 0.03807 281 199 58 24
545 Only one horn, but I shot it anyway. 1.3772 0.03807 281 199 58 24
546 Sure, it cost my daughter years of therapy, but it was worth it. 1.3763 0.03825 279 198 57 24
547 Believe it or not, it was the least preposterous game at Mar-A-Lago. 1.3763 0.03825 279 198 57 24
548 Most of my buddies hunt for a trophy wife. I wanted something more ... unique. 1.3763 0.03723 279 195 63 21
549 I shot this one in my sleep. 1.3763 0.03859 279 199 55 25
550 Next year we're going after Tinkerbell. 1.3763 0.03791 279 197 59 23
551 One day, I'm gonna hunt down a Care Bear. 1.3763 0.03925 279 201 51 27
552 I bagged that middle one off the carousel in Coney Island. 1.3763 0.03925 279 201 51 27
553 My daughter asked for a pony, so I said, 'I'll do you one better' 1.3759 0.03829 282 201 56 25
554 For some reason, this one always makes the little girls cry. 1.3759 0.03590 282 194 70 18
555 How was I supposed to know it was endangered? 1.3755 0.03878 277 198 54 25
556 Of course things were different before the Endangered Species Act. 1.3755 0.03670 277 192 66 19
557 They're pretty to look at, but they're actually invasive. 1.3755 0.03844 277 197 56 24
558 Unisex, Obviously 1.3755 0.03810 277 196 58 23
559 That one came from James Thurber's estate sale. 1.3755 0.03598 277 190 70 17
560 Yes... My granddaughter is quite the hunter it turns out. 1.3750 0.03880 280 201 53 26
561 Bought her at an auction. They said Michael Jackson only rode her on weekends. 1.3750 0.03847 280 200 55 25
562 Your clock is running a bit slow. 1.3745 0.03931 275 198 51 26
563 I usually use a Remington 30-06 but for the unicorn I used my imagination. 1.3745 0.03897 275 197 53 25
564 This vintage Howard Miller mantle clock was really a find. 1.3745 0.03998 275 200 47 28
565 I've always been guided by the words of our commencement speaker, who told us to go after our dreams. 1.3745 0.03687 275 191 65 19
566 My daughter still won't talk to me. 1.3745 0.03897 275 197 53 25
567 To those who thought they were extinct, now you're right. 1.3745 0.03998 275 200 47 28
568 ... and thus ended my childhood 1.3745 0.03687 275 191 65 19
569 The one in the middle is actually a horse. We had the taxidermist add the horn so that our dinner guests wouldn't get upset. 1.3741 0.03866 278 199 54 25
570 It was a magical day. 1.3736 0.03984 273 198 48 27
571 Bagged on my last acid trip! 1.3736 0.04052 273 200 44 29
572 That was during the '60s. Need I say more? 1.3736 0.03704 273 190 64 19
573 It's been 20 years and my daughter STILL won't speak to me. 1.3736 0.04117 273 202 40 31
574 No, our decorator just sawed it off a carousel. 1.3736 0.03776 273 192 60 21
575 It turns out there is a magic bullet. 1.3732 0.03604 276 190 69 17
576 Actually, they’re fairly common on merry-go-rounds. 1.3732 0.03492 276 187 75 14
577 You killed a lot of dreams with that one. 1.3728 0.03753 279 197 60 22
578 My lord, would you look at that! It's already 1:45! 1.3727 0.03901 271 194 53 24
579 And I bagged that one on My Little Safari. 1.3727 0.03795 271 191 59 21
580 It's not real, it's just combed over from the back. 1.3727 0.04073 271 199 43 29
581 I see you killed your daughter's dreams. 1.3727 0.03971 271 196 49 26
582 We try to keep the kids out of this room. 1.3727 0.03795 271 191 59 21
583 Finding it was easy. The real challenge was cleaning up all the glitter. 1.3727 0.03830 271 192 57 22
584 I shot this one in James Thurber's backyard. 1.3727 0.03901 271 194 53 24
585 What better way to prove they existed? 1.3723 0.03938 274 198 50 26
586 I'm not really in favour of letting our imaginations run wild. 1.3717 0.03991 269 195 48 26
587 It took me four hits of acid to finally bring her down. 1.3717 0.03813 269 190 58 21
588 And now, under this administration, it's completely legal! 1.3717 0.03665 269 186 66 17
589 The experience really wasn't as magical as I expected. 1.3713 0.03747 272 191 61 20
590 No, that’s from a merry-go-round. 1.3713 0.03924 272 196 51 25
591 Let’s just say my daughter still doesn’t speak to me. 1.3708 0.03976 267 193 49 25
592 No, surprisingly it tasted more like leprechaun 1.3708 0.03941 267 192 51 24
593 I bagged that one when the carousel closed. 1.3708 0.03795 267 188 59 20
594 The funny thing is there are no prohibitions against poaching imaginary animals. 1.3708 0.03832 267 189 57 21
595 After it granted me my third wish I shot it. 1.3704 0.03765 270 190 60 20
596 Fortunately there's no law protecting mythical species. 1.3704 0.03691 270 188 64 18
597 Yep, I got the last one 1.3704 0.03765 270 190 60 20
598 My Little Trophy 1.3698 0.03700 265 184 64 17
599 I think you should avoid social media for a while. 1.3698 0.03961 265 191 50 24
600 Actually I was hunting for my little pony. 1.3698 0.03776 265 186 60 19
601 Of course, you have to believe in unicorns before you can shoot one. 1.3698 0.03888 265 189 54 22
602 The Trump boys can help you hunt even the most endangered of species. 1.3690 0.03861 271 194 54 23
603 Most people only chase their dreams... 1.3688 0.03981 263 190 49 24
604 1969, San Francisco, LSD 1.3688 0.03795 263 185 59 19
605 I thought the room could use a little sparkle. 1.3688 0.03717 263 183 63 17
606 OK, OK, it's a horse -- and a damn good taxidermist. 1.3688 0.03795 263 185 59 19
607 And yet the most implausible aspect of this scenario is the black guy to my left. 1.3688 0.03945 263 189 51 23
608 It promised to grant any wish I had to spare its life but I've got everything so I popped it! 1.3684 0.03912 266 191 52 23
609 I killed the left and right ones on my African trip, and the middle one on my LSD trip. 1.3680 0.03951 269 195 49 25
610 Actually, they're quite common in the Hamptons. 1.3680 0.03772 269 190 59 20
611 Sure my daughter will be in counseling for years, but, hey, when you got the shot... 1.3680 0.03772 269 190 59 20
612 I didn't really shoot him. The rainbow fell on him and I just had him stuffed. 1.3680 0.03881 269 193 53 23
613 Mermaid's in the next room. 1.3678 0.03696 261 181 64 16
614 I killed that one when I was a nine-year old girl. 1.3678 0.03890 261 186 54 21
615 This one was bequeathed to me by my fairy godfather. 1.3678 0.03775 261 183 60 18
616 Coney Island Carousel , June 1976. 1.3678 0.03928 261 187 52 22
617 Well, I think the acid kicked in 1.3678 0.04002 261 189 48 24
618 Thankfully, I realized that I hadn't shot a rhino, which are so rare. 1.3678 0.03775 261 183 60 18
619 Surprisingly , they’re not on the Endangered Species list. You can shoot all you can find. 1.3674 0.03858 264 188 55 21
620 It was easier than finding a trophy wife. 1.3674 0.03969 264 191 49 24
621 Santa's next. 1.3672 0.03744 256 178 62 16
622 The custody hearings never went my way after that. 1.3668 0.03833 259 183 57 19
623 So Bigfoot sees my hunting rifle and says to the Unicorn, "I only have to be faster than you." And he was. 1.3668 0.04023 259 188 47 24
624 Unicorn?! Heavens no. It’s a GMO horse. 1.3668 0.03871 259 184 55 20
625 Took me three shots - darned thing kept bobbing up and down and going in circles... 1.3667 0.03904 270 195 51 24
626 They're actually pretty lax about hunting licenses in the Enchanted Forest." 1.3660 0.03616 265 183 67 15
627 I waited for the carousel to come to a complete stop and then: Bang! 1.3660 0.03920 265 191 51 23
628 They’re not as friendly as you think. 1.3660 0.03920 265 191 51 23
629 They're emblematic of chaste love and faithful marriage, which is why my wife killed it. 1.3658 0.04082 257 188 44 25
630 I shot him at Disney World. 1.3658 0.03891 257 183 54 20
631 PETA can't protest it if it ain't real. 1.3658 0.03812 257 181 58 18
632 My granddaughter still won't speak to me. 1.3658 0.04044 257 187 46 24
633 Well Bill, they're a myth now! 1.3658 0.03891 257 183 54 20
634 The glitter got everywhere. 1.3658 0.03930 257 184 52 21
635 The hunt was legendary. I hit him in the fairy tail. 1.3658 0.03732 257 179 62 16
636 I really wanted a rhinoceros, but they're on the endangered species list. 1.3650 0.03828 263 187 56 20
637 Tried for years to bag a progressive republican... but, I'm pretty sure they're just a myth... 1.3650 0.04120 263 195 40 28
638 Yeah, it's a great clock. I found it at Bill's Antiques on 4th Street. 1.3650 0.04049 263 193 44 26
639 No, now they're extinct. 1.3650 0.03828 263 187 56 20
640 It was a challenge because the carousel was moving. 1.3647 0.03989 255 184 49 22
641 Endangered? I thought they were non-existent. 1.3647 0.03872 255 181 55 19
642 The funny thing is I was shooting blanks. 1.3647 0.04066 255 186 45 24
643 We got this one on our dream vacation. 1.3647 0.03759 266 188 59 19
644 Ironically, I was hunting an entirely different endangered species at the time. 1.3640 0.03610 261 180 67 14
645 Quite a catch! Although much harder to sneak him off the merry-go-round than you might think! 1.3640 0.03923 261 188 51 22
646 Of course, my daughter doesn't talk to me anymore. 1.3640 0.03769 261 184 59 18
647 It was so beautiful and life-affirming, I just had to have it. 1.3636 0.03891 253 180 54 19
648 Yes at the time there were only two left, but I figured bag one before they're all gone 1.3636 0.04201 253 188 38 27
649 I got him in my sights – it was hit or myth. 1.3633 0.04015 256 186 47 23
650 Admittedly, this one's just a horse with a party hat, but I needed a centerpiece. 1.3633 0.03938 256 184 51 21
651 My daughter still won't speak to me. 1.3633 0.03976 256 185 49 22
652 Turns out they’re not imaginary. They’re extinct. 1.3625 0.03871 251 178 55 18
653 The kid on the carousel made a scene when I bagged that one. 1.3625 0.04032 251 182 47 22
654 It was magical, but also a little gamey. 1.3625 0.04032 251 182 47 22
655 You should have seen the dragon that got away. 1.3625 0.04110 251 184 43 24
656 My granddaughter loves them and I thought, why not? 1.3625 0.04032 251 182 47 22
657 Nope, those are her real eyelashes. 1.3623 0.03689 265 186 62 17
658 Funny thing is, I was aiming for My Little Pony. 1.3619 0.03886 257 184 53 20
659 Some old myths die harder than others. 1.3619 0.03886 257 184 53 20
660 Well, it's not as if they're a protected species. 1.3619 0.03886 257 184 53 20
661 What'd you do with the rest of the carousel? 1.3614 0.03932 249 178 52 19
662 I keep the Tooth Fairy in the bathroom. 1.3614 0.03891 249 177 54 18
663 Turns out my daughter didn't want it after all. 1.3614 0.04133 249 183 42 24
664 It's the only way anyone would believe me. 1.3614 0.04054 249 181 46 22
665 Getting that kid off the carousel was my toughest challenge 1.3614 0.03891 249 177 54 18
666 Have you not read "The Trump Sons' Rules of Hunting"? When you see something rare and beautiful -- hunt it, kill it, and mount it on your wall. 1.3614 0.04093 249 182 44 23
667 That one I brought back from my acid trip. 1.3614 0.03849 249 176 56 17
668 Yep, I had to beat out the Trump boys for that one. 1.3614 0.04133 249 183 42 24
669 That one really upsets the grand-kids. 1.3614 0.03891 249 177 54 18
670 Yep, that was quite a trip, if you know what I mean. 1.3611 0.03979 252 182 49 21
671 That hunt - it was just magical! 1.3611 0.04096 252 185 43 24
672 Hard to find, easy to kill. 1.3611 0.03775 252 177 59 16
673 Obviously, fake Gnus! 1.3608 0.04173 255 190 38 27
674 You can only hunt it with glitter. 1.3603 0.04035 247 179 47 21
675 Extinct now. 1.3602 0.03947 236 167 53 16
676 They say they don't exist, and I made sure of that. 1.3600 0.04000 250 181 48 21
677 The most difficult part was culling it from the merry-go-round. 1.3597 0.03966 253 183 49 21
678 I had to use my six year old daughter as a decoy to get this one! 1.3597 0.03886 253 181 53 19
679 My granddaughter no longer speaks to me, of course. 1.3597 0.03966 253 183 49 21
680 And with this, my special place in hell is secure. 1.3592 0.04057 245 178 46 21
681 My daughter didn’t speak to me for six years, but it was worth it. 1.3592 0.03931 245 175 52 18
682 An alternative fact animal but real nonetheless. 1.3592 0.04098 245 179 44 22
683 It's a good thing the President nullified the Endangered Species Act 1.3592 0.04179 245 181 40 24
684 How I bagged that one is a Grimm story. 1.3592 0.04016 245 177 48 20
685 It's my first 1-pointer. 1.3592 0.03845 245 173 56 16
686 I’ll admit it – I was pretty high when I bagged that one. 1.3592 0.03845 245 173 56 16
687 Why are we still friends with this guy? 1.3592 0.03974 245 176 50 19
688 It took one shot to dispel centuries of myth. 1.3589 0.03898 248 177 53 18
689 The tricky part was getting it through customs. 1.3589 0.03898 248 177 53 18
690 If I didn't shoot it no-one would've believed me. 1.3586 0.04111 237 172 45 20
691 Well, now they they don't exist. 1.3586 0.04026 251 183 46 22
692 My wife won't speak to me now, so it was worth it. 1.3586 0.03987 251 182 48 21
693 They say dreams die hard, but this one only took one shot. 1.3583 0.03953 254 184 49 21
694 It's to commemorate my most recent tech start up investment. 1.3580 0.04121 243 178 43 22
695 What’s with the candlesticks? 1.3580 0.03865 243 172 55 16
696 Well, I've got to be honest with you. It's a carrot. 1.3580 0.03865 243 172 55 16
697 Well actually I'm just the proud Grandpa... our little princess bagged it. 1.3580 0.04202 243 180 39 24
698 It turns out they weren't extinct—yet. 1.3580 0.04079 243 177 45 21
699 Bagged this guy on a Merry-Go-Round in Atlantic City. 1.3577 0.04084 246 180 44 22
700 How the hell did I know it was endangered? 1.3577 0.03875 246 175 54 17
701 Not so magical now, am I right? 1.3574 0.03861 235 165 56 14
702 No, it's not an endangered species, it's an imagined species. 1.3574 0.03967 249 180 49 20
703 And Donald Trump was elected president. 1.3574 0.04166 249 185 39 25
704 She charged. It was a near myth. 1.3571 0.04013 252 184 46 22
705 I got it with a virgin and an AR-15 1.3569 0.04055 255 188 43 24
706 I got some of these on safari trips, others on LSD trips 1.3568 0.03930 241 172 52 17
707 ...and for this one, I used a 12-gauge Winchester Rainbow with glitter shot. 1.3568 0.03930 241 172 52 17
708 Well, it sure is mythical now. 1.3568 0.03841 241 170 56 15
709 So graceful, so magical...I just had to shoot her. 1.3568 0.04102 241 176 44 21
710 The real myth is that they can sense danger before it strikes. 1.3568 0.04017 241 174 48 19
711 Reality isn't what it used to be. 1.3562 0.04202 233 171 41 21
712 ...and then my daughter stopped asking me for things. 1.3556 0.04038 239 173 47 19
713 It was nothing compared to hooking that mermaid. 1.3556 0.04038 239 173 47 19
714 That was twenty years ago, and my daughter still isn't speaking to me. 1.3556 0.04082 239 174 45 20
715 It was extreme hunting. First she granted my wish. Then I shot her. 1.3556 0.04251 239 178 37 24
716 She appeared when Trump took office. On my next hunt, I'm going after a flying pig. 1.3556 0.04251 239 178 37 24
717 You should’ve seen the centaur that got away. 1.3556 0.04038 239 173 47 19
718 Too much? 1.3550 0.04090 231 167 46 18
719 You should play the lottery. Trump was elected president and you bagged a unicorn. 1.3547 0.04187 234 172 41 21
720 The hard part was finding and hiring a virgin to lure it in.. 1.3547 0.04187 234 172 41 21
721 I had to go somewhere over the rainbow to get that one. 1.3544 0.03926 237 169 52 16
722 It was very simple, I used a rainbow. 1.3544 0.04104 237 173 44 20
723 I was really lucky. I got the last one. 1.3544 0.04104 237 173 44 20
724 It cost me my soul, but isn't she magnificent! 1.3544 0.03926 237 169 52 16
725 He didn't see me in my metaphor camouflage. 1.3544 0.04233 237 176 38 23
726 And that's a souvenir from Eric and Don Jr.'s recent visit to Disney's Magic Kingdom Animal Park. 1.3544 0.04275 237 177 36 24
727 Tricky shot, that one, considering the speed of the merry-go-round. 1.3544 0.04016 237 171 48 18
728 Oh, no, Foster's not a hunter. He works in our prop department. 1.3544 0.03834 237 167 56 14
729 I had to close my dentistry practice after this one. 1.3544 0.04233 237 176 38 23
730 ... And then I realized I was growing up, and could never return to Realm of Innocence again. So I figured, why not? 1.3544 0.04191 237 175 40 22
731 Eighteen-inch high-horn. Shot with a glitter gun on my artistic licence. Gave the meat to the elves. 1.3532 0.04215 235 174 39 22
732 Well, I thought it was a rhino. 1.3532 0.04083 235 171 45 19
733 Pink, fluffy, dancing on rainbows but no match for my daughter's AR15. 1.3532 0.04038 235 170 47 18
734 It's a bit of a disappointment. We were hunting for Sasquatch. 1.3532 0.04038 235 170 47 18
735 For some reason my granddaughter refuses to visit anymore 1.3532 0.03901 235 167 53 15
736 I shot that one at Toys-R-Us. 1.3532 0.04171 235 173 41 21
737 Don Jr. said, "Go ahead, it's not like it's going to live forever!" 1.3532 0.04128 235 172 43 20
738 They're said to symbolize purity and innocence. Nothing a 180-grain thirty-ought-six round can't handle, of course. 1.3532 0.03947 235 168 51 16
739 My daughter is still mad at me. 1.3532 0.04083 235 171 45 19
740 ...So now you know why I’m banned from Scotland. 1.3532 0.04083 235 171 45 19
741 It's amazing how impressed people are until they find out it's just a snow-cone I glued on. 1.3532 0.04038 235 170 47 18
742 And they say it doesn‘t pay off chasing rainbows. 1.3532 0.03759 235 164 59 12
743 Never underestimate the power of a rainbow-glitter gun, my friends. 1.3532 0.03611 235 161 65 9
744 Yup, got it at the Trump Mirage going out of business sale. 1.3523 0.04840 176 130 30 16
745 It wasn't as easy a shot as you would think - that carousel was really spinning. 1.3519 0.03874 233 165 54 14
746 Man...I love mushrooms... 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
747 I think it makes the room really pop 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
748 I bagged that one at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
749 No, they don't exist... not anymore, at least. 1.3519 0.03969 233 167 50 16
750 Mythical my ass! 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
751 And I bagged that one at my granddaughter's 5th birthday party 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
752 I traded Rudolph for this one 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
753 True Higgins, apart from misplacing my glasses, the rhino safari was superb. 1.3519 0.04239 233 173 38 22
754 We don’t allow our granddaughters in this room. 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
755 People think it’s a unicorn, but that’s just how it’s attached to the wall. 1.3519 0.04106 233 170 44 19
756 Is that an original Hermle mantelpiece clock? 1.3519 0.04283 233 174 36 23
757 I wasn't wearing my reading glasses-- I thought the bidding was for a Mountie uniform." 1.3519 0.04410 233 177 30 26
758 I prefer to mix fantasy with reality, just like the current administration. 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
759 I've always wanted one, and the EPA says it's permitted now. 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
760 Endangered? They're practically nonexistent. 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
761 It's still only a one-point buck. 1.3519 0.04239 233 173 38 22
762 Fake endangered species. 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
763 Despite what you may have heard from the Mainstream Media, these things are vicious killing machines. 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
764 There was a fully grown human male inside. 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
765 Actually, I hit that one with my car. 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
766 Before you judge me, I didn't shoot it. It ran out in front of my truck. 1.3519 0.03778 233 163 58 12
767 I was banned from Disneyland for life for that one. 1.3519 0.04195 233 172 40 21
768 He said he was the very last unicorn, but you know, they always say that. 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
769 Oh, it was an easy hunt, but the guy running the merry-go-round made it a true challenge. 1.3519 0.03922 233 166 52 15
770 I got that one right before carousels went extinct 1.3519 0.04239 233 173 38 22
771 I bagged it in the '60s. It was a different time back then. 1.3519 0.03826 233 164 56 13
772 For a nonexistent mythical creature, she put up quite a fight. 1.3519 0.04239 233 173 38 22
773 And that's the one I like to hang my hat on. 1.3519 0.03969 233 167 50 16
774 Turns out they're not covered by the Endangered Species Act. 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
775 That's what happens when you give a shotgun to a virgin. 1.3519 0.04061 233 169 46 18
776 It's not real. Anymore. 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
777 Of course it's not real, but his hairpiece reminds me of Trump's. 1.3519 0.04015 233 168 48 17
778 It turned out my granddaughter wanted a live unicorn. She doesn't visit much anymore. 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
779 Hard to believe, but I think I got the last one. 1.3519 0.04151 233 171 42 20
780 My granddaughter hasn’t spoken to me since. 1.3519 0.04106 233 170 44 19
781 Whadda ya mean "there's nothing there"? 1.3517 0.04285 236 177 35 24
782 I had no choice. It was attacking a snow leopard. 1.3517 0.04024 236 171 47 18
783 The steaks were magical. 1.3517 0.04024 236 171 47 18
784 Oh that one’s just to mess with my grand-daughter. 1.3506 0.03990 231 166 49 16
785 It was a fantasy of mine 1.3506 0.03990 231 166 49 16
786 Here's the one Ivanka bagged. 1.3506 0.04129 231 169 43 19
787 Up until the end, it insisted that it was a figment of my imagination. 1.3506 0.03895 231 164 53 14
788 Fortunately, the Department of the Interior eased some burdensome regulations. 1.3506 0.03990 231 166 49 16
789 That one I took down at the 65th Street Carousel in Central Park. 1.3506 0.04129 231 169 43 19
790 A little gaudy for my taste, but I shot it for the grandkids. 1.3506 0.03990 231 166 49 16
791 I got it from a Creationist who swears on his bible that it is authentic! 1.3506 0.04037 231 167 47 17
792 Let's just say that I got that one in the sixties. 1.3506 0.03990 231 166 49 16
793 I know — I thought they were exstinct too. So I figured this was my one opportunity... 1.3506 0.04084 231 168 45 18
794 ...and I caught this beauty while testing out my new rifle on LSD 1.3506 0.04129 231 169 43 19
795 My daughter hasn't spoken to me in 6 years. 1.3504 0.04224 234 174 38 22
796 On the flip side, they don't bring the grandkids over as much any more 1.3504 0.04001 234 169 48 17
797 After the first shot there was glitter everywhere. 1.3504 0.04136 234 172 42 20
798 Yup. Unicorn hunting. Pretty much the only upside to being a virgin. 1.3504 0.04136 234 172 42 20
799 It was a mystical, magical experience. Then I shot him. 1.3502 0.04098 237 174 43 20
800 Yeah, it was the last of it's kind and I shot it. Tell me it's not a great country! 1.3493 0.04153 229 168 42 19
801 I nabbed this one at Emily’s 7th birthday party. 1.3493 0.04199 229 169 40 20
802 The hardest part was finding a virgin to go with me. 1.3491 0.03929 232 166 51 15
803 They're actually pretty easy to bag. The hard part was getting a hunting license in Narnia. 1.3482 0.04121 224 163 44 17
804 I had to use my imagination to bag that one. 1.3482 0.04023 224 161 48 15
805 There was a point when dentistry wasn’t enough. 1.3480 0.04083 227 165 45 17
806 Then it spoke to me about destiny or something like that. I don't know, I just shot it 1.3476 0.04099 233 171 43 19
807 I got everything I wanted from my first two wishes. 1.3470 0.04084 219 158 46 15
808 My hunting guide said "Try this little pill." And I did. 1.3468 0.04096 222 161 45 16
809 The toughest part was timing the rotation of the carousel to get a clean shot. 1.3468 0.04290 222 165 37 20
810 So, just the one then? 1.3468 0.04145 222 162 43 17
811 Eric and Donald Jr. couldn't be more thrilled. It's not just an endangered species; it's the last of its kind! 1.3468 0.04290 222 165 37 20
812 It looked better than it tasted. 1.3468 0.04045 222 160 47 15
813 I bagged that one in Silicon Valley when it leapt out from behind a rainbow. 1.3465 0.04020 228 165 47 16
814 I know we're all here drinking his scotch, but doesn't Don Jr. get on your nerves sometimes? 1.3456 0.04260 217 160 39 18
815 It’s a rhino ... I shot him on Halloween. 1.3456 0.04456 217 164 31 22
816 It must have taken a lot of imagination to chase that one down. 1.3455 0.04316 220 164 36 20
817 They're not so much imaginary as they are extinct. 1.3455 0.04268 220 163 38 19
818 Once I lured her into reality she was fair game. 1.3455 0.04017 220 158 48 14
819 No, if it's mythical it can't be considered endangered. 1.3455 0.04017 220 158 48 14
820 The downside is that my granddaughter has disowned me. 1.3455 0.04169 220 161 42 17
821 I know what you're both thinking, but it helps with population control in Narnia. 1.3455 0.04268 220 163 38 19
822 I tracked him over the rainbow to where blue birds fly. 1.3455 0.03859 220 155 54 11
823 Rainbows are the best bait but virgins will work in a pinch. 1.3455 0.04169 220 161 42 17
824 The one with the wings got away . 1.3455 0.04017 220 158 48 14
825 My granddaughter, of course, is no longer speaking to me, but it was worth it. 1.3455 0.04119 220 160 44 16
826 That? That was a "thank you" from Don, Jr. and Eric. 1.3455 0.04119 220 160 44 16
827 Because with a Pegasus, you have a whole body to stuff, not to mention the wings. 1.3455 0.04169 220 161 42 17
828 So I said, "Mythical creature my ass" 1.3455 0.04068 220 159 46 15
829 I had to wear rainbow camo to get close enough to this one. 1.3455 0.04219 220 162 40 18
830 ...and was my daughter pissed! 1.3455 0.04316 220 164 36 20
831 I was lucky to get it. It was the last one. 1.3455 0.04119 220 160 44 16
832 I just need a Pegasus to complete the collection. 1.3455 0.03965 220 157 50 13
833 Strangely, he said he didn't think humans really existed. I think he's pretty sure now. 1.3455 0.04316 220 164 36 20
834 I was under some pressure. Jones, next door, has a Sasquatch mounted over his fireplace. 1.3455 0.03912 220 156 52 12
835 Well, they don't exist anymore. 1.3455 0.04119 220 160 44 16
836 And the one in in the middle I shot in 1969 while I was doing acid. 1.3445 0.04322 209 154 38 17
837 The magic eventually wears off ... 1.3443 0.03952 212 150 51 11
838 You have to believe it to see it! 1.3440 0.04244 218 161 39 18
839 On the plus side — it does add a lot of color into the room. 1.3440 0.04040 218 157 47 14
840 I think we're cursed now, but it looks good on the wall. 1.3440 0.04040 218 157 47 14
841 Where do I begin. Once upon a time in a land far , far away...... 1.3440 0.03987 218 156 49 13
842 I tell ya, that day was magical 1.3440 0.03934 218 155 51 12
843 It's really just a donkey, but you know how I like to embellish. 1.3440 0.03879 218 154 53 11
844 Narnia. 1958. One shot. 1.3440 0.04143 218 159 43 16
845 Bagged that one at a Toys R Us in Trenton.... 1.3440 0.04342 218 163 35 20
846 It was a dream vacation. 1.3440 0.04244 218 161 39 18
847 It wasn’t the LSD after all. 1.3440 0.04342 218 163 35 20
848 I bagged him during the blizzard of '06. My Land Rover slid off the road and struck a carousel. 1.3440 0.04194 218 160 41 17
849 Now that's a trophy you can hang your hat on! 1.3440 0.04092 218 158 45 15
850 ...and I bagged this on an acid trip back in the '70s. 1.3440 0.04194 218 160 41 17
851 Goes to show, no one is enforcing the Endangered Species Act. 1.3439 0.03950 221 158 50 13
852 Some say Unicorns don't exist, so I hunted down the last one to prove them wrong. 1.3438 0.04257 224 167 37 20
853 It was an unbelievable shot. 1.3431 0.04283 204 149 40 15
854 My daughter still isn't speaking to me. 1.3426 0.04063 216 156 46 14
855 That reminds me of our trip to Burning Man. 1.3426 0.04063 216 156 46 14
856 My daughter is 36 and she still hasn't forgiven me. 1.3426 0.04167 216 158 42 16
857 It was the sixties. I was on mushrooms. 1.3426 0.03955 216 154 50 12
858 My children needed years of psychotherapy after this one. 1.3426 0.03900 216 153 52 11
859 I was aiming at Bigfoot. 1.3426 0.04115 216 157 44 15
860 I bagged this beauty at my niece's birthday party. 1.3426 0.04219 216 159 40 17
861 It's amazing what 3-D printers can do now. 1.3426 0.04167 216 158 42 16
862 Turns out my granddaughter wanted a plush one instead. 1.3426 0.04063 216 156 46 14
863 Surprisingly, unicorns are not on the endangered species list. 1.3426 0.04167 216 158 42 16
864 I never saw one until Trump was elected. 1.3426 0.04269 216 160 38 18
865 There I was alone in the woods with my gun and a fist full of psilocybin mushrooms. 1.3426 0.04063 216 156 46 14
866 Greenpeace wasn't thrilled about this one. 1.3426 0.04269 216 160 38 18
867 They say they're magical but the taste is just so so 1.3426 0.04167 216 158 42 16
868 I originally wanted a rhino's horn but do you know how hard it is to find one? 1.3426 0.03731 216 150 58 8
869 No - actually my Daughter bagged that one at her last slumber party. 1.3426 0.04369 216 162 34 20
870 Fanciful thoughts were out of control. We had to cull the herd. 1.3425 0.04177 219 161 41 17
871 Of course it's fake, Dale. 1.3425 0.04127 219 160 43 16
872 I sprinkled a mixture of innocence and childhood dreams at the base of the rainbow, then waited with my AR. 1.3425 0.04227 219 162 39 18
873 Yeah it's sad, but the steaks were out of this world! 1.3425 0.04076 219 159 45 15
874 I shot two in Africa and one on the carousel at Coney Island 1.3425 0.04076 219 159 45 15
875 Without hunting, their populations would just grow out of control. 1.3423 0.04088 222 162 44 16
876 Had to shoot it. Blasted animal never stopped talking. 1.3411 0.04139 214 156 43 15
877 Yep, killed it with kindness. 1.3411 0.04139 214 156 43 15
878 Maybe I shouldn't have. Turns out to be much rarer than I thought. 1.3411 0.04192 214 157 41 16
879 Technically it’s not an endangered species 1.3411 0.04139 214 156 43 15
880 Well, I had to shoot it just to prove that they did once exist. 1.3411 0.04192 214 157 41 16
881 Unfortunately for him, his ability to fart glitter and poop rainbows made him stand out from the herd. 1.3411 0.04192 214 157 41 16
882 Everything else was extinct. 1.3411 0.04446 214 162 31 21
883 You're right, Jim. The view is much better on this side of the exhibit. 1.3411 0.04346 214 160 35 19
884 I poached the water buffalo in India, the impala in South Africa, and the dumb, rainbow, goat-horse looking thing I shot at my own daughter's birthday. 1.3411 0.04396 214 161 33 20
885 Yeah, Scott Pruitt allows them to be hunted now. 1.3411 0.04139 214 156 43 15
886 If you like this one, you should see the mermaid in our fish tank. 1.3411 0.04032 214 154 47 13
887 That was the very last time my daughter came with me on a hunting trip. 1.3411 0.04244 214 158 39 17
888 I had to kill it with kindness. 1.3411 0.04244 214 158 39 17
889 You could argue that this is proof that unicorns don't exist, at least anymore. 1.3411 0.03977 214 153 49 12
890 Yup... bagged that one on the Central Park carousel running at top speed. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
891 Once he lifted the ban on trophies, suddenly it wasn’t enough just to kill the dreams and aspirations of the younger generation. 1.3410 0.04352 217 163 34 20
892 My granddaughter doesn't talk to me anymore. 1.3410 0.03994 217 156 48 13
893 Haven't seen one of them since the 60's. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
894 My wife said she wanted to put a little magic back in our relationship. Turns out she meant something else. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
895 We worked out sort of a compromise. I didn't shoot her. And she agreed to pose there from nine to five, four days a week. 1.3410 0.03940 217 155 50 12
896 At first I had my doubts about a merry-go-round safari. 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
897 I bagged this one on a merry-go-round. 1.3410 0.04352 217 163 34 20
898 I didn't have a choice. Its last words were 'The NRA is a terrorist organization'. 1.3409 0.04451 220 168 29 23
899 Even more impressive is the mermaid in the study. 1.3398 0.04135 206 149 44 13
900 He was hiding in a patch of rainbows and butterflies. 1.3397 0.04094 209 151 45 13
901 Field dressing was the strangest part...rainbow everywhere! 1.3397 0.04150 209 152 43 14
902 The grandkids were surprised, but not in the way I expected. 1.3397 0.03922 209 148 51 10
903 With all the hoopla these days about guns, I killed this one with fairy dust. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
904 Nailed this one on an LSD expedition. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
905 I tracked this one through 3 miles of glitter before I bagged him. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
906 To be honest, I was aiming for the Pegasus. 1.3396 0.04110 212 154 44 14
907 Nerf gun, 100 yards. Close one! She was prancing right at me. 1.3396 0.04110 212 154 44 14
908 Now this one comes with quite a story. 1.3396 0.04217 212 156 40 16
909 I spared her from the misery of children's television. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
910 The virgin is still at the taxidermist 1.3396 0.04373 212 159 34 19
911 Bought this one at a garage sale. Got it half off since its missing a horn. 1.3396 0.04217 212 156 40 16
912 It was the 70's. What can I say? 1.3396 0.04322 212 158 36 18
913 Got that one at my granddaughter’s birthday party in Jersey. 1.3396 0.04373 212 159 34 19
914 But I still don’t have a trophy wife! 1.3396 0.04110 212 154 44 14
915 It was advertised as a Fantasy Safari. 1.3396 0.04055 212 153 46 13
916 Can you keep a secret? The middle one was out of season. 1.3396 0.03999 212 152 48 12
917 The hardest part has been explaining this to my granddaughter. 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
918 So my wife said: there are more chances of you hunting an unicorn that our son finding a job 1.3396 0.04270 212 157 38 17
919 1. Yea, hunting on LSD, what was I thinking? 2. Phyllis doesn’t let the grandkids in here 1.3394 0.04286 218 163 36 19
920 She said, ‘this deed shall carry a terrible curse,’ but honestly, I feel pretty good. 1.3394 0.03836 221 157 53 11
921 I took it out of storage the moment my daughter left for college. 1.3381 0.04078 210 152 45 13
922 With the comb-over..you barely notice, 1.3381 0.04078 210 152 45 13
923 You’re right, it does have Trump’s hair. 1.3381 0.04078 210 152 45 13
924 I bagged that one at a NRA "Ethics in Action" seminar. 1.3381 0.04401 210 158 33 19
925 Believe it or not, an hour later I missed my shot at a flying pig. 1.3381 0.04401 210 158 33 19
926 That beauty put me in the NRA Hall of Fame 1.3381 0.04188 210 154 41 15
927 Now of course back when I killed it, these things were everywhere! 1.3381 0.04188 210 154 41 15
928 I took first place in my fantasy hunting league. 1.3381 0.04401 210 158 33 19
929 I bagged that one in Neverland. 1.3381 0.04401 210 158 33 19
930 This one's kind of a blur. Bagged him near Woodstock in '69 I think. 1.3380 0.04093 213 155 44 14
931 I'm only a Sasquatch away from the magical Big Five. 1.3380 0.04039 213 154 46 13
932 As soon as Trump took them off the Endangered Species List, I bagged one. 1.3380 0.04147 213 156 42 15
933 The Trump administration really relaxed the hunting laws. 1.3380 0.04253 213 158 38 17
934 It's actually harder to find a good Scotch. 1.3380 0.04210 216 160 39 17
935 I bagged those two on a safari, and that one on an acid trip. 1.3379 0.04068 219 160 44 15
936 It was a fairy tale come true. 1.3379 0.03963 219 158 48 13
937 Hopefully she is done with her “My Little Pony’, phase now. 1.3365 0.04322 208 155 36 17
938 ...and this one I shot on a hallucinogenic trip in the 70's 1.3365 0.04102 208 151 44 13
939 There were a lot of imaginary protests. 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
940 I haven’t seen the grand kids in years. Why do you ask? 1.3365 0.04322 208 155 36 17
941 The others are from safari - this was bagged on a California acid trip. 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
942 My kind of wall is to promote diversity. 1.3365 0.04322 208 155 36 17
943 My grandkids think I picked it up in Neverland but the truth is that I put it together from a kit. 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
944 Yes, I'm damed for all eternity, but then the blood of the innocent gives me eternal life, so it's a wash! 1.3365 0.04102 208 151 44 13
945 What about the one in the middle, John? Did you kill that one as it fiercely charged at you too? 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
946 It came to me in a dream. 1.3365 0.04102 208 151 44 13
947 Bagged her at the end of the rainbow. 1.3365 0.04045 208 150 46 12
948 That's nice, but it's only a one-point. 1.3365 0.04214 208 153 40 15
949 Of course, I have to hide it when the grandkids are over. 1.3365 0.03928 208 148 50 10
950 I think the acid is kicking in 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
951 Yeh, about as rare as a black man being invited into my den, I’d say. 1.3365 0.04322 208 155 36 17
952 I bagged him on an acid trip in 1969... 1.3365 0.03869 208 147 52 9
953 This one? Self-defense. The Carousel was headed straight for me. 1.3365 0.04268 208 154 38 16
954 After just missing the centaur I was happy to bag this. 1.3365 0.04102 208 151 44 13
955 Don't repeat this, but I touch up her eyelashes with my wife's mascara. 1.3365 0.04158 208 152 42 14
956 I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy running that merry-go-round put up a heck of a fight. 1.3365 0.04376 208 156 34 18
957 Little Chloe wasn't too happy about that one, but I told her it was being mean to the other unicorns. 1.3365 0.04268 208 154 38 16
958 The irony is I was out looking for Big Foot when I chanced across this beauty. 1.3365 0.04268 208 154 38 16
959 Well, after the divorce, my daughter asked for a ‘My Little Pony,’ and I thought ‘You know what? I’ll do you one better. 1.3365 0.04268 208 154 38 16
960 Not to worry; it's never been listed on the Endangered Species Act. 1.3365 0.03987 208 149 48 11
961 Ah, ok. Now I'm stoned. 1.3365 0.04102 208 151 44 13
962 This was the same day I met your mother. 1.3364 0.04077 214 156 44 14
963 Actually, it tasted more like Spotted Owl. 1.3350 0.04295 206 153 37 16
964 You're not really rich until you've killed an imaginary animal. 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
965 I bagged it at my daughter's fifth birthday party. 1.3350 0.04295 206 153 37 16
966 The other end dispenses artisan spices and ice cubes. 1.3350 0.04183 206 151 41 14
967 Honestly, I just don't care that this created a special place in Hell for me. 1.3350 0.04349 206 154 35 17
968 Actually, that one I bought at a garage sale. 1.3350 0.04239 206 152 39 15
969 I'm not into mythical but it kind of rounds out the collection, 1.3350 0.04295 206 153 37 16
970 Wasn’t so lucky after all ... 1.3350 0.04295 206 153 37 16
971 It's the only thing that keeps my damn grandkids from stopping by. 1.3350 0.04183 206 151 41 14
972 Isn't she a beauty, she was my first carousel ride. 1.3350 0.04404 206 155 33 18
973 Lucky for me, this one's magic powers were limited to card tricks. 1.3350 0.03828 206 145 53 8
974 So this is how I got my kids to stay out of the den. 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
975 A prime example of fake gnus. 1.3350 0.04404 206 155 33 18
976 That unicorn's horn is fake. The real one was ground up and sent off to battle E.D. in China. 1.3350 0.04295 206 153 37 16
977 Mythologically, it's not murder. 1.3350 0.04126 206 150 43 13
978 Wow, shot through the forehead with an ice cream cone! 1.3350 0.04457 206 156 31 19
979 Took me a while to scratch this one off my bucket list. 1.3349 0.04141 209 153 42 14
980 Yeah, a new thing: safaris for little girls. My eight year old loved it. 1.3349 0.04358 209 157 34 18
981 I nailed him at a merry-go-round. 1.3349 0.04410 209 158 32 19
982 Traditional weapons were ineffective, had to use social media. 1.3349 0.04085 209 152 44 13
983 Then I had a second thought, "What the heck, I am a Republican after all." 1.3349 0.04358 209 157 34 18
984 Well, it did grant me one wish... 1.3349 0.04101 212 155 43 14
985 My complete set of Care Bears is in the other room. 1.3333 0.04377 204 153 34 17
986 I thought better about posting this one on Facebook. 1.3333 0.04287 210 157 36 17
987 It's actually just a white mare, but I finished her off with a piece of rebar. 1.3333 0.04432 204 154 32 18
988 The guide said my hunting fees would fund their conservation. 1.3333 0.04109 207 151 43 13
989 Actually, it's not a vestigial horn. It's a party hat. 1.3333 0.04277 207 154 37 16
990 If you find this hard to believe, you should see the parking spot I found this morning. 1.3333 0.03993 207 149 47 11
991 'That was long ago when I still believed.' 1.3333 0.04377 204 153 34 17
992 It was easy to track them in my sights since they kept going around and around in the same circle... 1.3333 0.04208 204 150 40 14
993 Like it? I got the very last one. 1.3333 0.04265 204 151 38 15
994 apparently, being mythical is no protection 1.3333 0.04150 204 149 42 13
995 Shooting them is easy. Finding them is tough. 1.3333 0.04166 207 152 41 14
996 My therapist told me that I needed to quit childish things, so I took up hunting 1.3333 0.04208 204 150 40 14
997 Just north of Woodstock in 1969. 1.3333 0.04321 204 152 36 16
998 I bagged that one on a '60's college acid trip. 1.3333 0.04491 207 158 29 20
999 So what's the big deal, it's only a one pointer? 1.3333 0.03955 210 151 48 11
1000 And this one here I killed using only the power of my imagination. 1.3333 0.04377 204 153 34 17
1001 The therapist said I needed to start confronting my internalized sense of toxic masculinity. 1.3333 0.04092 204 148 44 12
1002 The matching rainbow is in the garage. 1.3333 0.04092 204 148 44 12
1003 I didn't find the horn unusual, but then he said my name out loud . . . 1.3333 0.04377 204 153 34 17
1004 My granddaughter doesn't talk to me anymore. 1.3333 0.04208 204 150 40 14
1005 Turns out that was the last one. 1.3333 0.04032 204 147 46 11
1006 The kids wanted to go to Disney, but I wanted to go on safari, so we compromised. 1.3333 0.03972 204 146 48 10
1007 Well, I needed a hobby after I retired from lobbying. 1.3317 0.04191 205 151 40 14
1008 It's really a Zebra. But a Taxidermist from the NRA, said he could keep me out of trouble. 1.3317 0.04292 202 150 37 15
1009 The rainbow piles make them surprisingly easy to track. 1.3317 0.04175 202 148 41 13
1010 There were two. Some guy named Noah rescued the other one 1.3317 0.04405 202 152 33 17
1011 Nasty things - one shot and there’s gumdrops everywhere. 1.3317 0.04292 202 150 37 15
1012 I wish I could elaborate, but the sixties were crazy. 1.3317 0.04116 202 147 43 12
1013 Well, it was never listed as "endangered." 1.3300 0.04200 200 147 40 13
1014 Finally I understand why his seven year old daughter broke all his golf clubs. 1.3300 0.04376 200 150 34 16
1015 Did I every tell you about my safari to Narnia? 1.3300 0.04376 200 150 34 16
1016 And then there was none. 1.3300 0.04318 200 149 36 15
1017 Yes, unicorns did exist. 1.3300 0.03954 200 143 48 9
1018 I bagged this one on a Magical Mystery Tour. 1.3300 0.04260 200 148 38 14
1019 Granddaughter bagged the one in the middle. Kind of a disturbed kid. 1.3300 0.04376 200 150 34 16
1020 The hardest thing was getting the virgin to help. 1.3300 0.04376 200 150 34 16
1021 . . . so, apparently I'm no longer welcome at the Twilight Sparkle Wildlife Preserve. 1.3300 0.04140 200 146 42 12
1022 I slightly misheard when she requested a legendary feast to celebrate our anniversary. 1.3300 0.04376 200 150 34 16
1023 Trump is really rolling back restrictions on trophy hunting 1.3299 0.04539 197 150 29 18
1024 With the glitter and rainbow camouflage, she never saw me coming. 1.3299 0.04423 197 148 33 16
1025 We would have preferred a Centaur-piece. 1.3299 0.04244 197 145 39 13
1026 It's a fake. But don't tell the Trump boys. They paid off on a huge bet. 1.3299 0.04596 197 151 27 19
1027 You don't see many of these party animals anymore 1.3299 0.04244 197 145 39 13
1028 I didn't shoot that one. It died of apoplexy when Trump was elected president. 1.3299 0.04652 197 152 25 20
1029 I caught this one with a dream catcher. 1.3299 0.04305 197 146 37 14
1030 But it never did solve my impotence. 1.3299 0.04120 197 143 43 11
1031 My granddaughter keyed my Mercedes. 1.3299 0.04596 197 151 27 19
1032 Every so often, this one makes me feel a little guilty. 1.3299 0.04244 197 145 39 13
1033 Bittersweet...my granddaughter has stopped speaking to me. 1.3299 0.04423 197 148 33 16
1034 She gave me one wish so I asked for her head. 1.3299 0.03898 194 137 50 7
1035 I bagged the middle one after dropping some acid. 1.3299 0.04227 194 142 40 12
1036 Wow. When you said you bagged a unicorn I just assumed it meant a new account. 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
1037 Thank god for deregulation! 1.3284 0.04357 201 151 34 16
1038 Getting that one was a fantasy come true. 1.3284 0.04123 201 147 42 12
1039 There's an interesting story behind that one. Once upon a time.... 1.3284 0.04183 201 148 40 13
1040 And this one here is why my grandkids hate me. 1.3283 0.04346 198 148 35 15
1041 Yup, I guess I over-reacted when they said I was too old to ride the carousel. 1.3283 0.04462 198 150 31 17
1042 You'll never believe this: I woke up with that in my bed a few weeks ago. 1.3283 0.04346 198 148 35 15
1043 It was just after that I got my A rating from the NRA 1.3283 0.04286 198 147 37 14
1044 In my defense, she was wearing a hoodie at the time. 1.3282 0.04208 195 143 40 12
1045 No one was more surprised than me, I didn't think fantasy was my genre. 1.3282 0.04015 195 140 46 9
1046 That's nothing. You should see my Loch Ness trophy. 1.3282 0.04208 195 143 40 12
1047 That's a trophy from my one and only LSD hunting trip. 1.3282 0.04208 195 143 40 12
1048 My granddaughters haven't spoken to me since. 1.3282 0.04332 195 145 36 14
1049 Tastes like chicken. 1.3282 0.04511 195 148 30 17
1050 Next fall I thought I'd change my game, and go sport fishing on Loch Ness. 1.3267 0.04224 202 150 38 14
1051 When I heard here was only one left I knew I had to have it 1.3266 0.04443 199 151 31 17
1052 My daughter never forgave me. 1.3265 0.04190 196 144 40 12
1053 It wasn't on the endangered list at the time. 1.3264 0.04105 193 140 43 10
1054 It was a Mid Summer Night Dream....... 1.3264 0.04297 193 143 37 13
1055 From what I have heard the white ones are quite rare. 1.3264 0.04482 193 146 31 16
1056 But at heart, I'm really a unicorn conservationist. 1.3264 0.04297 193 143 37 13
1057 Well, I realized no one would believe me ever again. 1.3264 0.04105 193 140 43 10
1058 Spotted this one running in circles on a playground in Jersey. 1.3264 0.04482 193 146 31 16
1059 It WAS magical. Until she started debating my Second Amendment rights. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
1060 A toast, gentlemen, to a taxidermist with imagination! 1.3264 0.04234 193 142 39 12
1061 It's about as real as the democratic processes. 1.3264 0.04421 193 145 33 15
1062 It wasn't easy; I had to track him to the end of the rainbow. 1.3264 0.04038 193 139 45 9
1063 It’s a result of one of my first ‘trips’ in the late sixties 1.3264 0.04038 193 139 45 9
1064 3-D printer, a drill bit, and shoe polish. 1.3264 0.04659 193 149 25 19
1065 I checked - they're not on the endangered list. 1.3264 0.04038 193 139 45 9
1066 My daughter cried for days, but it really does tie the room together. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
1067 My daughter bagged that one. 1.3264 0.04234 193 142 39 12
1068 Comes in handy for ring toss. 1.3264 0.04297 193 143 37 13
1069 I had to use pink marshmallow bullets. 1.3264 0.04421 193 145 33 15
1070 1998. Family trip to Candyland. My daughter still won't talk to me. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
1071 Yes, I am estranged from my daughter. 1.3264 0.04234 193 142 39 12
1072 I normally use a rifle but this one I charmed to death. 1.3264 0.04482 193 146 31 16
1073 Oh, Dick Cheney got that one. 1.3264 0.04421 193 145 33 15
1074 That one charged my daughter on a merry-go-round. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
1075 My granddaughter hates me. 1.3264 0.04038 193 139 45 9
1076 Once I crossed the rainbow bridge and found his candy poop trail I knew it was just a matter of time. 1.3264 0.04360 193 144 35 14
1077 I knew, if I waited, it would come around again. 1.3264 0.04297 193 143 37 13
1078 I got that one by following a trail of rainbow glitter. 1.3264 0.04170 193 141 41 11
1079 Shot 'er next to Bubble Gum River with a sawed-off candy cane. 1.3264 0.04421 193 145 33 15
1080 Bagged him in the Haight in '68. 1.3264 0.04234 193 142 39 12
1081 I just followed the rainbow poop. 1.3264 0.04297 193 143 37 13
1082 And this majestic specimen got me banned for life from the Pier 62 Carousel. 1.3263 0.04344 190 141 36 13
1083 That one's an accident. I was aiming for Bigfoot. 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
1084 I see you're now hunting in theme parks. 1.3247 0.04216 194 143 39 12
1085 It was the last of its kind, but fortunately for rich guys like me, Donald Trump removed it from the endangered species list. 1.3247 0.04152 194 142 41 11
1086 Magnificent shot, museum quality mounting but maybe we should rejoin the ladies? I believe they have stopped screaming now. 1.3247 0.04462 194 147 31 16
1087 They said it was non-existent. Turned out it was just the last of an entire species. So, who looks stupid now? 1.3247 0.04216 194 143 39 12
1088 And they said it could only be caught by a virgin. 1.3247 0.04402 194 146 33 15
1089 I bagged him on a Coney Island acid trip back in the 60's. 1.3247 0.03954 194 139 47 8
1090 We had to take this one to the taxidermyth 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1091 My granddaughter won't talk to me now. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1092 Yup, bagged that one in Narnia. Guess you could call it my little pony. 1.3246 0.04512 191 145 30 16
1093 Yeah, it's a pretty good trophy, but it cost me the one that said "World's Best Grandpa." 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1094 Another example of Fake News. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1095 I never believed in them until I killed one. 1.3246 0.04512 191 145 30 16
1096 This one here I got during a mushroom binge at Woodstock. 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1097 And this trophy was taken down at my granddaughter’s birthday party. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1098 Dave's fake game trophies always create an awkward atmosphere. Wait till you see the elephant in the other room 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1099 That one took first place in my fantasy hunting league. 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1100 Don’t worry, no one knows it exists, so it’s not considered endangered. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1101 The Yeti is in the next room. 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1102 And wouldn't you know, it was the last one. 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1103 My daughter’s first kill when she was 12. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1104 Endangered? No, it's only imaginary. 1.3246 0.03993 191 137 46 8
1105 Unfortunately, the sparkles vanished after I shot it. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1106 That was a hell of an acid trip, boys. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1107 I figured I’d kill my daughter’s dreams early on. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1108 Interesting story, I got him with my unicycle. 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1109 That was a gift from Scott Pruitt. 1.3246 0.04512 191 145 30 16
1110 A myth? Well, they are now. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1111 Seen one, seen ‘em all. 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
1112 The good news is that they're not endangered anymore. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1113 No, I have no family. Why do you ask? 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1114 It tastes just like Griffin. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1115 I've never made my dentist so jealous. 1.3246 0.04573 191 146 28 17
1116 Thank God Trump lifted the ban on Unicorn Trophies. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1117 During my drug dependent phase, the unicorn was my emotional support animal. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1118 My theory is that they were hunted to extinction -- but it's only a theory. 1.3246 0.04062 191 138 44 9
1119 You should have seen the Pegasus that got away. 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
1120 The carousel owner was not happy. 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
1121 Only ever saw the one. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
1122 And you’re drinking her tears right now. 1.3246 0.04512 191 145 30 16
1123 I call it, 'Death of Imagination' 1.3246 0.04512 191 145 30 16
1124 I acquired him from a fake hunting expedition website : don/eric.gov through my lawyer Michael. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1125 And this is the reason Susan lives with her Mom now. 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1126 You just had to one-up my leprechaun. 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1127 There's big game, then there's "Fabulous" game. 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1128 Before you cook the meat, you have to carefully pick out the sparkles. 1.3246 0.04573 191 146 28 17
1129 It wasn't easy. I had to beat out Donald Jr. to get it! 1.3246 0.04450 191 144 32 15
1130 Thank God you replaced that spotted owl you had here, the environmentalists were freaking out!! 1.3246 0.04325 191 142 36 13
1131 Yeah - but Disneyland banned me for life. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1132 It came to me in a dream. So, I shot it. 1.3246 0.04573 191 146 28 17
1133 My grandchildren havn't spoken to me since. 1.3246 0.04062 191 138 44 9
1134 It doesn't fool anyone. I taped a carrot to a horse's head. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
1135 I didn't expect to find him in my wildest dreams 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1136 Its meat tastes like chicken, with a hint of pink gumdrop. 1.3246 0.04129 191 139 42 10
1137 We know what happened that day, don't we Princess? 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
1138 ... and next year it's open season on honest politicians. 1.3246 0.04573 191 146 28 17
1139 I got him just before he jumped over the rainbow. 1.3245 0.04104 188 136 43 9
1140 You think these are rare? Try getting a hunting license for a leprechaun. 1.3231 0.04382 195 147 33 15
1141 The kids have never forgiven me. 1.3229 0.04111 192 140 42 10
1142 Well. I guess they WERE real. 1.3229 0.04177 192 141 40 11
1143 The hard part was finding a virgin who didn't care about the Endangered Species Act 1.3229 0.04242 192 142 38 12
1144 Fox and Friends reported that these babies are everywhere these days. 1.3229 0.04430 192 145 32 15
1145 That's from Eric Trump's 'Goodbye to Innocence' safari. 1.3229 0.04305 192 143 36 13
1146 And I bagged that one at my five-year-old's Princess Party. 1.3228 0.04352 189 141 35 13
1147 The taxidermist couldn't believe it, either. 1.3228 0.04221 189 139 39 11
1148 Crossbows beat rainbows every time. 1.3228 0.04086 189 137 43 9
1149 My new taxidermist is a wizard 1.3228 0.04725 189 147 23 19
1150 And they said you shouldn't mix hunting and LSD. 1.3228 0.04154 189 138 41 10
1151 This one had me going around in circles before I could bring her down. 1.3228 0.04221 189 139 39 11
1152 Yes, I'm afraid this is all that's left from my first IPO. 1.3228 0.04016 189 136 45 8
1153 That clock is a minute fast. 1.3228 0.04352 189 141 35 13
1154 Fairy tales do come true. 1.3228 0.04352 189 141 35 13
1155 Up to her last moment, she almost had me convinced she didn't exist. 1.3228 0.04016 189 136 45 8
1156 Looks great now but the damn glitter made a helluva mess of the truck 1.3228 0.04154 189 138 41 10
1157 Unfortunately, the virgin got away. 1.3228 0.03873 189 134 49 6
1158 I actually found this at Goodwill. 1.3228 0.04665 189 146 25 18
1159 I let her give me one last wild ride, and then...they shut down the carousel. 1.3228 0.04221 189 139 39 11
1160 I don't know, guys. I'm starting to think I'm gay. 1.3228 0.04542 189 144 29 16
1161 Actually, I was aiming for the centaur next to him. 1.3228 0.04154 189 138 41 10
1162 Bagged this one on a Safairy. 1.3228 0.04417 189 142 33 14
1163 They should really take our guns away. 1.3228 0.04604 189 145 27 17
1164 It's rather enchanting, isn't it? 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
1165 Keeps the grandkids outta here. Bambi’s mounted in the billiard room. 1.3212 0.04410 193 146 32 15
1166 I bagged the first one in Zambia, the second in Fantasyland and the last at the Borden Dairy. 1.3211 0.04333 190 142 35 13
1167 We had to use the world's last virgin princess as bait... finding her was more difficult. 1.3211 0.04202 190 140 39 11
1168 By the time I had it stuffed and mounted, my daughter had moved on to regular horses. 1.3211 0.03556 190 131 57 2
1169 Some say unicorn, I say fashionable elk 1.3209 0.04381 187 140 34 13
1170 Oh, it's just a horse. I was running behind it with a javelin and it stopped short. 1.3209 0.04697 187 145 24 18
1171 I bagged that one when I was just five, on safari at Coney Island. 1.3209 0.04381 187 140 34 13
1172 It cost me five ride tickets but it was worth it. 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
1173 Well, Bob's always been a bit of a dream killer. 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
1174 ...and, I shot this one at a school play. 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
1175 Picked it up at a white elephant exchange. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1176 "Unfortunately, it was both the first and last of its kind. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1177 If we all think she's sexy it's not weird, right? 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1178 Bet you can't tell which ones fake. 1.3209 0.04381 187 140 34 13
1179 Truth be told, I bagged that from a merry-go-round in Milwaukee. 1.3209 0.04446 187 141 32 14
1180 My daughter doesn't speak to me. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1181 It sure doesn’t help me get laid. 1.3209 0.03967 187 134 46 7
1182 I figured it was time for my daughter to grow up. 1.3209 0.04110 187 136 42 9
1183 I got that one at little Samantha's birthday party last year. 1.3209 0.04697 187 145 24 18
1184 I’m particularly proud of my marksmanship on this one what with the merry-go-round was spinning full speed. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
1185 Here's where I get caught in a loop: if they don't exist, they can't be endangered. But if it's here, they have to exist. 1.3209 0.04179 187 137 40 10
1186 I bagged that one in Never Never land. 1.3209 0.04573 187 143 28 16
1187 I don't believe in leaving anything to the imagination. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1188 It was difficult, but 70 years of celibacy really paid off. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
1189 And this is my fake gnus collection. 1.3209 0.04573 187 143 28 16
1190 And that is the elusive Equus monoclonius! I came across it chasing rainbows 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
1191 My wife wants it there for the feng shui. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
1192 A stroke of luck, I got the last one. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
1193 Of course, that was before Fish and Wildlife got a bug up their ass. 1.3209 0.04446 187 141 32 14
1194 He won the triple crown. Two races he won by a horn. 1.3209 0.04110 187 136 42 9
1195 So, I guess Brad's Disney safari was a success? 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
1196 I went to bed with Stormy Daniels and woke up with that beside me. 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
1197 GOT THAT ONE WITH TIMOTHY LEARY. 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
1198 Which one did we just eat? 1.3207 0.04362 184 137 35 12
1199 When she started snortin' sparkles, I knew then it was either her or me. 1.3204 0.04549 181 137 30 14
1200 Trump Jr. bagged this one to prove there are alternative facts. 1.3204 0.04616 181 138 28 15
1201 Apparently, Silicone Valley is full of them. 1.3204 0.03815 181 127 50 4
1202 It was a carousel in Tasmania. With, I have to say, a pretty grumpy operator. 1.3196 0.04391 194 147 32 15
1203 Yeah...that clock sure is beautiful. 1.3191 0.04228 188 139 38 11
1204 It was chaotic on the carousel but I managed to bag him with the first shot. 1.3191 0.04361 188 141 34 13
1205 Back then, of course, it wasn’t an endangered species 1.3189 0.04134 185 135 41 9
1206 If you think the head is unique you should have tasted the meat. 1.3189 0.04541 185 141 29 15
1207 I snagged this one on a psychedelic trip in 1964. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
1208 Huh-only a 1pointer. 1.3189 0.04476 185 140 31 14
1209 Apparently she wasn’t as magical as everyone thought. 1.3189 0.04476 185 140 31 14
1210 Most unicorn hunts don’t end with a trophy. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
1211 For me, this was a real fairy tale ending. 1.3189 0.04541 185 141 29 15
1212 I guess now they don't exist. 1.3189 0.04605 185 142 27 16
1213 That one is for shorting Toys R Us. 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
1214 I bagged that one on my last acid trip. 1.3189 0.04541 185 141 29 15
1215 Of course, I had to tell my kid it ran away. 1.3189 0.04342 185 138 35 12
1216 Almost makes up for the dragon that I missed on my last trip. 1.3189 0.04205 185 136 39 10
1217 My daughter now regrets taking me as her plus one to the enchanted forest. 1.3189 0.04541 185 141 29 15
1218 I'll tell you, bagging that baby was like something right out of a fantasy. 1.3189 0.03603 185 128 55 2
1219 I'm a strong believer in diversity and inclusion. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
1220 You're right. A cursed existence IS a small price to pay for such symmetry. 1.3189 0.04476 185 140 31 14
1221 My taxidermist wouldn't stuff a narwhal so I kept the horn, shot a horse, and here we are. 1.3189 0.04668 185 143 25 17
1222 I told my granddaughter it was self-defense, but she still isn't speaking to me. 1.3189 0.04476 185 140 31 14
1223 He almost makes up for the mermaid that slipped the hook. 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
1224 I bagged that one at FAO Schwartz 1.3189 0.04342 185 138 35 12
1225 Fake. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
1226 A guy in our hunting party wanted to sell the horn on the black market, but I’m too much of a conservationist for that. 1.3189 0.04476 185 140 31 14
1227 I bagged him on my last LSD trip. 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
1228 There it is. The last unicorn in Silicon Valley. 1.3189 0.04409 185 139 33 13
1229 I dropped her with a 32-guage moonbeam. 1.3187 0.03955 182 130 46 6
1230 The most satisfying moment was when it stopped sparkling. 1.3184 0.04580 179 136 29 14
1231 I don't understand why everyone is so upset, its not on the "Endangered Species" list. 1.3179 0.04310 195 147 34 14
1232 I had to throw the mermaid back in. 1.3172 0.04389 186 140 33 13
1233 Some enjoy the thrill of the hunt, but I prefer the fantasy of it. 1.3172 0.04255 186 138 37 11
1234 ...so even though the genie called me despicable, he said he'd still give me three wishes. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1235 It was the last one. I had to have it. 1.3169 0.04439 183 138 32 13
1236 So hard these days to know what's real and what's not! 1.3169 0.04231 183 135 38 10
1237 She was much less elusive when the music stopped 1.3169 0.04370 183 137 34 12
1238 ... got that one on a bad acid trip in 1963. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1239 Hired it for my daughter’s birthday party and couldn’t help myself. 1.3169 0.04439 183 138 32 13
1240 Bagged that one on safari with my fairy godfather. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1241 And even better, I made unicorn jerky. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1242 They don't exist ANYMORE 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1243 Sure, the kids think they're cute, but you should see what they do to the azaleas. 1.3169 0.04086 183 133 42 8
1244 Since we have run out of endangered species, I have had to move in to mythical creatures. 1.3169 0.04159 183 134 40 9
1245 Harry brought this back from the summer term at Hogwarts. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1246 Because I couldn’t have something more unique than me exist. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1247 It’s just a plastic mold, but the grandkids think I’m a wizard now. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1248 She really stood out from the herd. 1.3169 0.04231 183 135 38 10
1249 And, I bagged that one at FAO Schwarz 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1250 No, I didn't shoot this one. It just turned up in my bed one morning after I refused to cast Johnny Fontaine in a fantasy epic. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1251 ... and I bagged this little fella at my granddaughter's eleventh birthday party. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1252 Once in a lifetime indeed. And my granddaughter hasn't spoken to me since. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1253 When you're my age, the only sure shot is the carousel. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1254 Mounting this one was relatively easy. The centaur is another story. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1255 "Not surprisingly, the Trump administration lifted the ban on killing and importing unicorns". 1.3169 0.04370 183 137 34 12
1256 Pure luck...I was taking a hit-and-myth approach that day. 1.3169 0.04506 183 139 30 14
1257 My daughter likes unicorns so I thought she would love it - Surprisingly not. 1.3169 0.04572 183 140 28 15
1258 My wife made me take the centaur down. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1259 A Narnian hunting license is pricey, but worth it. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1260 That was a magical hunting trip. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1261 Wayfair? 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1262 My daughter still hasn't forgiven me. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1263 He was just sitting there making rainbows 1.3169 0.04439 183 138 32 13
1264 I take it down whenever my grand daughter comes to visit. 1.3169 0.04159 183 134 40 9
1265 I climbed down off of Sparkle Pony and there, at the end of the rainbow, stood this magnificent creature. So I shot it. 1.3169 0.04701 183 142 24 17
1266 On the outskirts of Universal. Looking for a mate, I guess. 1.3169 0.04765 183 143 22 18
1267 Who knew it was an endangered species? 1.3169 0.04159 183 134 40 9
1268 Last year's LSD trip. 1.3169 0.04439 183 138 32 13
1269 It wasn't listed as endangered, so... 1.3169 0.04370 183 137 34 12
1270 Of course it's a carousel animal, but the other two are authentic according to Amazon. 1.3169 0.04301 183 136 36 11
1271 After elephant tusks got the green light, I knew it was only a matter of time. 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
1272 Well of course it's extinct, now... 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
1273 Serengeti,hell no I bagged him off the carousel at santa cruz boardwalk ! 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
1274 Open season at the carousel. 1.3167 0.04626 180 138 27 15
1275 and I'm having Bigfoot stuffed for the den 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
1276 Either appeal to kids or the sport dies out in a generation. 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
1277 Yes, it had been a dream of mine since I killed my first Easter Bunny. 1.3167 0.04558 180 137 29 14
1278 It was a once-in-a-lifetime shot, so I took it. 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
1279 I bagged that one, on a Safairy. 1.3167 0.04626 180 138 27 15
1280 "Since I shot it, half my hair fell out, I lost my job, and my wife left me. And then the meat spoiled in the freezer. 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
1281 the tricky part was finding a taxidermist with experience... 1.3167 0.04204 180 132 39 9
1282 It was a difficult shot, but somehow I knew I wouldn't myth. 1.3167 0.04693 180 139 25 16
1283 My granddaughter has disowned me. 1.3167 0.04490 180 136 31 13
1284 “Yeah, the North Korea safari was nothing like I expected”. 1.3167 0.04558 180 137 29 14
1285 It turns out that myths are not endangered. 1.3167 0.04420 180 135 33 12
1286 You could say I’m a giant asshole. 1.3167 0.04693 180 139 25 16
1287 Rare?! Oh my yes, with curried new potatoes and spring greens! 1.3152 0.04211 184 136 38 10
1288 The one in the middle I shot while sleeping. 1.3152 0.04281 184 137 36 11
1289 No one feels the sadness of extinction like a hunter. 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
1290 Great Clock 1.3152 0.04615 184 142 26 16
1291 My little girl bagged that, of course 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
1292 Doesn't seem so magical now, does it? 1.3152 0.04485 184 140 30 14
1293 A portion of the fees I pay to hunt and kill these magnificent animals goes to toward preserving them for future generations to hunt and kill. 1.3152 0.04418 184 139 32 13
1294 Little Sally never hears about this, understood? 1.3152 0.04140 184 135 40 9
1295 They had to shut the carousel down for two days. 1.3152 0.04068 184 134 42 8
1296 I didn't shoot her, she just magically appeared there one day. 1.3152 0.04418 184 139 32 13
1297 I know what you're wondering. It tastes just like chicken. 1.3152 0.04281 184 137 36 11
1298 The next room has the fake gnus. 1.3152 0.04281 184 137 36 11
1299 This wall celebrates my disregard for things I don't believe in. 1.3152 0.04615 184 142 26 16
1300 It was magical. 1.3152 0.04350 184 138 34 12
1301 The mermaid trophy was scaring the children. 1.3152 0.04211 184 136 38 10
1302 Now that one really appeared out of nowhere. 1.3152 0.04418 184 139 32 13
1303 They taste a bit like chicken...with a splash of magical goodness... 1.3149 0.03958 181 130 45 6
1304 My granddaughter, bless her little pink heart, bagged it at morning recess. 1.3149 0.04399 181 136 33 12
1305 This one is a gift from the Trump brothers. 1.3146 0.04590 178 136 28 14
1306 Nailed this little Lady on a Merry Go Round 1.3146 0.04305 178 132 36 10
1307 That one cost me 10 years of therapy sessions for my daughter. 1.3146 0.04590 178 136 28 14
1308 What did he say was in this drink again? 1.3146 0.04305 178 132 36 10
1309 You'll never see another of these. It's from my hunt through the very last Toys R Us store. 1.3146 0.04450 178 134 32 12
1310 I guess at least one got on the ark after all. 1.3146 0.04378 178 133 34 11
1311 My 9 year-old granddaughter bagged the middle one. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
1312 And that one is just a figment of my imagination. 1.3133 0.04669 166 126 28 12
1313 I bagged the one on the far left on safari in Kenya in 1987, the middle one was the 2:45pm Disneyland Main Street Parade in '91... 1.3128 0.04568 179 137 28 14
1314 So you had asked earlier about the glitter gun... 1.3128 0.04135 179 131 40 8
1315 I had to, or you wouldn't have believed me. 1.3125 0.04623 176 135 27 14
1316 I didn't want my dream to die slowly. So I shot it. 1.3125 0.04480 176 133 31 12
1317 "...and, I bagged this one, on the carousel, when I was 5". 1.3125 0.04552 176 134 29 13
1318 I almost mythed the one in the middle. 1.3125 0.04552 176 134 29 13
1319 Best merry-go-round ride ever! 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1320 Tasted just like regular horse meat, though. 1.3125 0.04332 176 131 35 10
1321 Had to go round and round with that one. 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1322 It’s actually a horse. I added the horn for the kids. 1.3125 0.04623 176 135 27 14
1323 .. of course we take it down when the grandkids visit. 1.3125 0.04257 176 130 37 9
1324 And I bagged this one during the revival of “Carousel.” 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1325 No, it's fake... but I still get offers on it. 1.3125 0.04101 176 128 41 7
1326 I had to attend 158 birthday parties for five year olds before I finally bagged him. 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1327 The leprechaun head was too small to mount. 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1328 Suddenly, he emerged out of nowhere! 1.3125 0.04257 176 130 37 9
1329 My daughter was pretty upset... 1.3125 0.04407 176 132 33 11
1330 This was really a dream come true for me. 1.3125 0.04552 176 134 29 13
1331 And THIS is when being a 75 year-old virgin finally paid off! 1.3125 0.04480 176 133 31 12
1332 We have to remove it each time our granddaughter visits. 1.3125 0.04332 176 131 35 10
1333 I followed the scat into my granddaughter's bedroom. 1.3125 0.04480 176 133 31 12
1334 My most heroic achievement. I stole it from a carousel. 1.3125 0.04480 176 133 31 12
1335 I saw it and thought, "I'll be damned, that would really pull my living room together." Turns out I was right. 1.3125 0.04180 176 129 39 8
1336 That one ? Don Jr. sent me that when I told him his Dad would be indicted. 1.3107 0.04669 177 137 25 15
1337 To tell you the truth, it just jumped in front of me on the Turnpike before I could brake. 1.3107 0.04082 177 129 41 7
1338 Did I stop to think about it? Of course not, I might've missed the shot. 1.3107 0.04236 177 131 37 9
1339 I'm not sure I can stay for dinner. 1.3107 0.04236 177 131 37 9
1340 It was a magic bullet. 1.3107 0.04458 177 134 31 12
1341 So our lil' Suzie started therapy this week. 1.3107 0.04312 177 132 35 10
1342 It's unique and corny at the same time. 1.3107 0.04082 177 129 41 7
1343 Shooting it was easier than believing it into existence. 1.3107 0.04458 177 134 31 12
1344 It was a fantasy come true! 1.3103 0.04206 174 128 38 8
1345 Mother bagged it in the sixties, which were good to her. 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
1346 Yup, I bagged that one from a carousel in Binghamton, NY 1.3103 0.04511 174 132 30 12
1347 My little princess bagged this one. 1.3103 0.04655 174 134 26 14
1348 I bagged two of them on my Africa trip, and the other on my LSD trip. 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
1349 It was an easy shot. I had trapped it with some jelly beans. 1.3103 0.04126 174 127 40 7
1350 It's a mythical beast, of course. But then again, I've lived happily ever after. 1.3103 0.04206 174 128 38 8
1351 Well, it's not like it was covered by the Endangered Species Act. 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
1352 It's not endangered if it's not real 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
1353 Oh, I just went to the end of the rainbow. 1.3103 0.04045 174 126 42 6
1354 Turns out you just need a normal hunting license 1.3103 0.04206 174 128 38 8
1355 Bagged that one in San Francisco, Summer of Love. 1.3103 0.04436 174 131 32 11
1356 Give me a break. If I didn't do it, Voldemort would have. 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
1357 The challenge with this one was not hitting the kid who was riding it on the merry-go-round. 1.3099 0.04171 171 125 39 7
1358 Do I feel bad about it? Uh,yeah, sure. 1.3099 0.04411 171 128 33 10
1359 As real as our national integrity. 1.3090 0.04507 178 136 29 13
1360 Now THAT was a magical day! 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1361 I shot a Leprechaun too but the taxidermist said he wouldn't stuff it. 1.3081 0.04068 172 125 41 6
1362 My granddaughter no longer speaks to me. 1.3081 0.04616 172 132 27 13
1363 Almost extinct was becoming too common, so I've moved on to imaginary. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1364 ...and I got that one with a 30-06 and some damn strong hallucinogens. 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1365 She was so beautiful I didn't want to shoot at first, but I knew no one would believe me if I didn't. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1366 Little girl screaming on a crazed animal bucking up and down and running in circles. Lucky for her, I had my firearm. 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
1367 Research has shown extinction is the most reliable form of preservation. 1.3081 0.04068 172 125 41 6
1368 And I bagged that one in '68, Coney Island, Madame Zee's skeeball palace. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1369 They really do poop soft serve ice cream, but if you can't breed them at scale the economics just don't work. 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1370 I was number one for eight weeks on the internet's most-hated list. 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
1371 Stuffing it was a nightmare - we coughed up glitter for a week! 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
1372 “Merry -Go -round owner musta had a fit ! 1.3081 0.04689 172 133 25 14
1373 My granddaughter bagged this one from the back of her little pony. 1.3081 0.04689 172 133 25 14
1374 Heather is 35 now and she still won't forgive me for that one. 1.3081 0.04689 172 133 25 14
1375 Long story short, both the lion and the witch made me sell the wardrobe. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1376 Up to the instant I pulled the trigger I didn't believe in them either. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1377 First I baited him with Skittles for that taste of the rainbow. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1378 I bagged this one at Burning Man. 1.3072 0.04068 166 120 41 5
1379 The tenderloin was magical. 1.3072 0.04575 166 126 29 11
1380 Bagged this baby during the second act of Carousel 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
1381 After Cecil the lion, us dentists have had to up the ante considerably. 1.3068 0.04609 176 136 26 14
1382 The centaur was too big for the wall. 1.3064 0.04368 173 130 33 10
1383 No, I was just kidding. I don't really see a unicorn. What did you say is in this drink? 1.3064 0.04048 173 126 41 6
1384 You'll have to go into the back room to see the rainbow. 1.3064 0.04130 173 127 39 7
1385 Yeh...I bagged that one in Narnia. 1.3064 0.04368 173 130 33 10
1386 I think it was the last one. 1.3064 0.04665 173 134 25 14
1387 Did I mention I have an estranged granddaughter? 1.3064 0.04665 173 134 25 14
1388 And this one was from my trip to Antiquity. 1.3064 0.04444 173 131 31 11
1389 It was a 'he,' actually. 1.3064 0.04519 173 132 29 12
1390 You guys wouldn't have believed a photo. 1.3064 0.04130 173 127 39 7
1391 Too bad they didn't make it on the ark. 1.3059 0.04339 170 127 34 9
1392 My taxidermist worked for Disney. 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1393 Sure they’re rare, but the safari guy said this is the best way to support conservation. 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1394 Oh yes, that was a magical trip... 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1395 We had to wait for my daughter to leave home before we could put it up. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1396 I didn’t realize that she was the last one. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1397 All this talk about their being endangered is just a figment of someone's imagination. 1.3059 0.04005 170 123 42 5
1398 Ivanka went with Don Jr. and Eric on their last trip to Africa. 1.3059 0.04649 170 131 26 13
1399 the gazelle in Ethiopia-- the water buffalo I tracked and killed in Zambia--I shot the My Little Pony in my daughter's bedroom 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1400 Well as this was the last one we can take it off the endangered species list. 1.3059 0.04649 170 131 26 13
1401 As he attempted to gore the leprechaun I took my shot. 1.3059 0.04258 170 126 36 8
1402 "Gentlemen, this is the horn section". 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1403 It was open season at the amusement park. 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1404 From a faraway land, Toys R Us. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1405 Sure I'm proud, but my daughter no longer speaks to me. 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1406 C'mon, how could I not? 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1407 I had to drag home three from the Mar-a-Lago gift shop in order to get the IRS off my back. 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1408 My daughter has never forgiven me. 1.3059 0.04339 170 127 34 9
1409 Don Jr. and Eric said if I wanted that senior position at EPA that bagging this guy was the way to get it. 1.3059 0.04723 170 132 24 14
1410 My daughter won't talk to me anymore, but it's worth it. 1.3059 0.04796 170 133 22 15
1411 LSD actually sharpens my hunting prowess. 1.3059 0.04091 170 124 40 6
1412 That one there wouldn't stop pooping rainbow sprinkles in my yard. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1413 At least with the Trump presidency, they're off the endangered list. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1414 Sure, that was the last one. But if I hadn't shot it, you never would have believed they existed. 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1415 Susie bagged that one when she was six. 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1416 It was either him or my cynicism. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1417 Strangely enough, after all the years of looking I found it under by daughter's bed. 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1418 I don't think you should have your granddaughter's birthday party over here this year. 1.3059 0.04497 170 129 30 11
1419 Then I had the Enchanted Forest leveled, so this really is one-of-a-kind. 1.3059 0.04339 170 127 34 9
1420 ..ah yes, that safari was truly magical. 1.3059 0.04258 170 126 36 8
1421 My daughter is gonna be so pissed. 1.3059 0.04419 170 128 32 10
1422 Near Three Mile Island, about 5 years after the meltdown. 1.3059 0.04339 170 127 34 9
1423 Merry-Go-Rounds are great places to practice. 1.3059 0.04573 170 130 28 12
1424 I wanted something to match the griffin rug. 1.3059 0.04176 170 125 38 7
1425 my daughter was upset at first, but then she went to college. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1426 The kids got tired of him. 1.3046 0.04422 174 132 31 11
1427 This one I shot out from under my granddaughter on the carousel. 1.3046 0.04496 174 133 29 12
1428 You can't even tell it's an ice cream cone. 1.3041 0.04550 171 131 28 12
1429 But I never saw a taxidermist WEEP like that. 1.3041 0.04772 171 134 22 15
1430 The damn thing keeps getting glitter all over the carpet. 1.3041 0.04550 171 131 28 12
1431 Don't tell the Trump boys I got it. 1.3041 0.04843 171 135 20 16
1432 I got that one from a carousel in Coney Island. 1.3041 0.04237 171 127 36 8
1433 I told my daughter it was important to thin the herd. 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
1434 Tastes like griffin. 1.3041 0.04474 171 130 30 11
1435 I know it's a mythical beast, but I was amused by its presumption. 1.3041 0.04237 171 127 36 8
1436 I promised my investors a unicorn, but they still weren't happy. 1.3041 0.04237 171 127 36 8
1437 It's like looking at a cartoon for a caption contest, scratching your head and wondering whether there is truly anything worth saying. 1.3036 0.04606 168 129 27 12
1438 Our LSD trip was successful 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1439 I was lucky. The park service said the herd needed thinning. 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1440 The other two claim she’s just a narwhal in drag. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1441 I wonder if whoever was in the butt of the costume made it out alive... 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1442 My five year old grand-daughter bagged her with her pink 9 MM semi-automatic. 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1443 I'll tell you the story, but you're not going to believe it. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1444 Between her and Bambi, I'm lucky to be alive. 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1445 In the end it took about 450 mg of mescaline to hunt one of them down. 1.3036 0.03938 168 121 43 4
1446 Endangered? Not any more! 1.3036 0.04606 168 129 27 12
1447 Yes, Narnia; one of the last hunting trips they allowed. 1.3036 0.04285 168 125 35 8
1448 And in the kitchen, it farts rainbows 1.3036 0.04832 168 132 21 15
1449 And this one was in my last gay pride parade 1.3036 0.04683 168 130 25 13
1450 Whoever selects the finalists for the New Yorker caption contest has really bad taste. 1.3036 0.04906 168 133 19 16
1451 Most unusual...I came across a herd running in circles... with small children on their backs... 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1452 This one was a gift from Dick Cheney. 1.3036 0.04758 168 131 23 14
1453 The eyelashes remind me of your mother. 1.3036 0.04368 168 126 33 9
1454 Who invited the black guy? 1.3036 0.04832 168 132 21 15
1455 They never let me back in that toy store. 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1456 Lucky shot, really. I was aiming at an endangered snow leopard. 1.3036 0.04606 168 129 27 12
1457 My granddaughters hate me, but it was an amazing hunt. 1.3036 0.04448 168 127 31 10
1458 Coachella. 1.3036 0.04683 168 130 25 13
1459 And when the narwhale drove its horn through my horse’s head, I thought, wow, would that ever make a statement. 1.3036 0.04528 168 128 29 11
1460 Oh no, I didn't believe it either until I shot it. 1.3030 0.04502 165 125 30 10
1461 I'll let you in on a secret... the eyelashes are fake. 1.3030 0.04819 165 129 22 14
1462 Picked her up at a tag sale in Narnia. 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1463 Colored hearts and a beautiful rainbow filled the sky just before he shot it. 1.3030 0.04161 165 121 38 6
1464 Now you understand why I think climate change is a hoax 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1465 I thought he was simply glad to see me. 1.3030 0.04583 165 126 28 11
1466 Yeah,bagging that one was unreal. 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1467 We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold... 1.3030 0.04583 165 126 28 11
1468 Is my drink too strong, or is that a unicorn on your wall? 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1469 And me. I’m the damn fool that shot him. 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1470 That's the last one I ever shot. 1.3030 0.04502 165 125 30 10
1471 I guess Noah let him on at the last moment. 1.3030 0.04335 165 123 34 8
1472 I waited until I had my three wishes. 1.3030 0.04502 165 125 30 10
1473 It's been forty years, and we're still vacuuming up the glitter. 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1474 Is that clock running fast? 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1475 And THIS is why we should abolish the 2nd Amendment! 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1476 I bagged the Unicorn on an LSD trip. 1.3030 0.04583 165 126 28 11
1477 ...and this one was gifted to me by Eric and Donald Trump Jr. 1.3030 0.04502 165 125 30 10
1478 Good start..but we are still missing the pig with wings 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
1479 This is from that weekend in the fantasy camp. 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
1480 And I landed this fine specimen at my niece's birthday party in Scarsdale. 1.3030 0.04742 165 128 24 13
1481 Sure, there were some nasty tweets and my daughter isn’t speaking to me, but the RNC is begging me to return their calls. 1.3030 0.04583 165 126 28 11
1482 I bagged that one in Haight-Ashbury in the sixties. 1.3018 0.04426 169 128 31 10
1483 Our interior designer doesn’t exist either. 1.3018 0.04582 169 130 27 12
1484 And people thought they were extinct. 1.3018 0.04180 169 125 37 7
1485 She has her mother's horn 1.3018 0.04180 169 125 37 7
1486 Got that with my My Little Pony Bolt-Action Remington. 1.3013 0.04848 156 121 23 12
1487 I shot it in my sleep. 1.3012 0.04794 166 130 22 14
1488 Yup. That was the last one. 1.3012 0.03959 166 120 42 4
1489 My daughter isn't too happy, but it really brings the room together. 1.3012 0.04479 166 126 30 10
1490 Don Jr. bagged this one. 1.3012 0.04869 166 131 20 15
1491 Yeah, my daughter still hasn’t forgiven me for that one. 1.3012 0.04313 166 124 34 8
1492 I call her 'My Little Phony'. 1.3012 0.04227 166 123 36 7
1493 And that one I bagged in Silicon Valley 1.3012 0.04794 166 130 22 14
1494 I sent the rest to the glitter glue factory. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1495 I followed the rainbow scat just as you instructed. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1496 I bagged it, but it turned out my daughter meant a live one. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1497 Tracked it all the way to the end of the rainbow. 1.3006 0.04276 163 121 35 7
1498 That's a myth... It wasn't the last one. 1.3006 0.04186 163 120 37 6
1499 I bagged it on a Disney safari. 1.3006 0.04616 163 125 27 11
1500 took her down right over the rainbow 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1501 Just lucky to get it before they went extinct. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1502 The hard part was finding the rainbow-colored camouflage outfit. 1.3006 0.04777 163 127 23 13
1503 To be fair, it wasn't on any endangered list. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1504 Yeah, I know they are supposed to be symbols of purity. Garbage. Before I bagged this last known unicorn, he cursed like a sailor and tried to stab me in the groin. 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1505 I hear they're magically delicious. 1.3006 0.04856 163 128 21 14
1506 It took $20,000,000 of gene editing, but it was worth every penny. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1507 You should’ve seen the look on my daughters face. 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1508 The one on the left isn't real. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1509 I picked up that one on the My Little Pony safari adventure. 1.3006 0.04616 163 125 27 11
1510 Bagged that one on safari in Camelot. 1.3006 0.04095 163 119 39 5
1511 I was a little skeptical about the “magical safari” but let me tell you, money well spent. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1512 Keeps the grandkids in line, that’s for sure. 1.3006 0.04276 163 121 35 7
1513 ...really it's about conservation. 1.3006 0.04856 163 128 21 14
1514 Climate change has unexpected consequences. 1.3006 0.04186 163 120 37 6
1515 Bagging that trophy. was a fantasy come true. 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1516 And that's when he said I could make any wish I wanted. 1.3006 0.04616 163 125 27 11
1517 You can’t see her if you don’t use your imagination. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1518 Unfortunately, that may be the last time I take my daughter big game hunting. 1.3006 0.04276 163 121 35 7
1519 Since my home address and photo are all over social media - I am the real victim here 1.3006 0.04616 163 125 27 11
1520 I'd had a few drinks at the time and just thought I was seeing things. 1.3006 0.04186 163 120 37 6
1521 All three of my marriages were trophy wives but she was a dream come true. 1.3006 0.04856 163 128 21 14
1522 yup, straight to hell for me boys 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1523 And you'll never see another one, either. 1.3006 0.04186 163 120 37 6
1524 We mostly use it for ring toss. 1.3006 0.04276 163 121 35 7
1525 Yeah...i thought it was just a party hat. 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1526 The difficult part was finding a virgin for bait. 1.3006 0.04698 163 126 25 12
1527 Got lucky with this beauty, it was the last one left. 1.3006 0.04449 163 123 31 9
1528 That one’s from my first LSD trip. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1529 And that one I shot at my daughter's birthday party 1.3006 0.04856 163 128 21 14
1530 I was aiming for the loudmouth leprechaun riding it. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1531 I have to replace the ice cream cone every once in a while, but my daughter hasn't noticed. 1.3006 0.04363 163 122 33 8
1532 Asked the agent for a unique safari package. Ten minutes later, I was being shoved into a wardrobe. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1533 What the hell, there was only one left anyway. 1.2994 0.04692 167 130 24 13
1534 My ten year old daughter bagged that one. 1.2994 0.04536 167 128 28 11
1535 In the end, I learned to believe in myself 1.2994 0.04821 157 122 23 12
1536 That one's from the White House safari. 1.2988 0.04509 164 125 29 10
1537 I nailed him eating a cupcake on a rainbow. 1.2988 0.04907 164 130 19 15
1538 Mine's bigger. 1.2988 0.04426 164 124 31 9
1539 People kept saying she was too young for an assault rifle, but I said no.... 1.2988 0.04426 164 124 31 9
1540 Yes, Jerry, I realize it is just a one point buck. 1.2988 0.04340 164 123 33 8
1541 Had to shoot her. No one would have believed I’d found her otherwise. 1.2988 0.04509 164 125 29 10
1542 So you have a 3D printer now? 1.2988 0.04592 164 126 27 11
1543 Yes, the eye lashes are false. 1.2988 0.04752 164 128 23 13
1544 There's the one that got away, and this is the one that doesn't exist 1.2981 0.04392 161 121 32 8
1545 I tracked the carousel herd for days, until I had a clear shot. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1546 Do you believe me now? 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1547 I spied him as he was taking a drink from the lemonade springs in the Big Rock Candy Mountains 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1548 When I was your age, hunting was interesting 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1549 And this one is from a shoot in 'La La Land'. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1550 White privilege. Isn't it beautiful? 1.2981 0.04392 161 121 32 8
1551 My guide on that safari was Ken Kesey. My life has never been the same. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1552 It was a hunt, sponsored by The Cloisters. 1.2981 0.04650 161 124 26 11
1553 He came with his own hairbrush, but I've since lost it. 1.2981 0.04732 161 125 24 12
1554 And that was the day my daughter left me. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1555 What a long, strange hunting trip that must have been. 1.2981 0.04650 161 124 26 11
1556 They exist; but it’s certainly a myth that they can only be captured by a virgin. 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1557 Got this one on the Magical Mystery Tour. 1.2981 0.04118 161 118 38 5
1558 My granddaughter hasn't spoken to me in two years. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1559 The Trump boys shot her, then left her for dead. 1.2981 0.04814 161 126 22 13
1560 Oh, that's my granddaughter's. She bagged it in the playground at P. S. 73 last summer. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1561 His trophy wife did the decorating. 1.2981 0.04732 161 125 24 12
1562 Considering the glare of rainbow in my eyes and the rabid leprechaun biting my ankles, it was a helluva shot. 1.2981 0.04392 161 121 32 8
1563 Apparently they are pretty invasive in Narnia. 1.2981 0.04650 161 124 26 11
1564 No, Jim. It's not a real one. 1.2981 0.04392 161 121 32 8
1565 My taxidermist gave me an unbelievable discount. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1566 At first I was ashamed. But then I thought, what the hell, I'll own up to it! 1.2981 0.04732 161 125 24 12
1567 Yeah, I know. I got the last one. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1568 You bet it was tough. They’re almost never in season. 1.2981 0.04303 161 120 34 7
1569 'We're extremely fortunate today...being mythological she is only occasionally there." 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1570 Trump Tower had a garage sale and, well, we couldn't not buy it, could we? 1.2981 0.04650 161 124 26 11
1571 Candyland will never be the same. 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1572 My granddaughter has disowned me. 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1573 I told my daughter, "There are consequences for not cleaning up your room." 1.2981 0.04479 161 122 30 9
1574 I tell you, the hunt was just magical. 1.2981 0.04814 161 126 22 13
1575 And that, gentlemen, was the last one on earth, so I sure as Hell didn't want to miss. 1.2981 0.04732 161 125 24 12
1576 Don't exist? Well, yes--now. 1.2981 0.04565 161 123 28 10
1577 Got the last Minotaur, too. Wanna' see? 1.2970 0.04403 165 125 31 9
1578 How can they want to take our guns? 1.2970 0.04403 165 125 31 9
1579 I bagged him up at the old Thurber place. 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
1580 It was a long, strange trip. 1.2963 0.04280 162 121 34 7
1581 It took years to find an actual virgin; after that, the rest was easy. 1.2963 0.04541 162 124 28 10
1582 On eBay 1.2963 0.04189 162 120 36 6
1583 Bagged that one on our trip to Disney in ‘92. 1.2963 0.04624 162 125 26 11
1584 I can’t believe she almost threw out your rainbow camouflage. 1.2963 0.04456 162 123 30 9
1585 It’s because I have a micropenis. 1.2961 0.05013 152 120 19 13
1586 Unfortunately my daughter thought I'd bring it home alive 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1587 Yep, I crushed the dreams of 10 million little girls. Worth it, right? 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
1588 Yup, ... Don Jr. got this one—the last on Earth. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1589 The Rainbow Blind was ingenious! 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1590 I always knew there was something wrong with him. Who puts two candles on their mantelpiece? 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
1591 The tooth fairy shot it. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1592 Actually, it tasted sorta like chicken. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1593 Sad story, really. Three wild horses were swimming to a nearby island when an enormous narwhal attacked this poor fellow from behind. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1594 I hear they taste like chicken. 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
1595 There I am at the bar when in walks a Kudu, a Unicorn and a Water Buffalo, it made me laugh so hard I had to kill them all. 1.2956 0.04851 159 125 21 13
1596 I can tell you one thing...you don't want to be running away from unicorn when it charges you. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1597 I am so lucky that I got the last unicorn before they went extinct. 1.2956 0.04851 159 125 21 13
1598 Far be it from me to brag, but that was the last one. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
1599 Apparently they're immortal, so the eyes do literally follow you around the room. 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1600 If you like this, you'll love the family room. I've got some green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees. 1.2956 0.04932 159 126 19 14
1601 The hardest part was getting the permit. They make you pay with leprechaun gold. 1.2956 0.04237 159 118 35 6
1602 Karen made me get rid of all my rifles. So now I'm super into Etsy hunting. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
1603 That one I bagged while hunting on acid. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
1604 I asked her if she was game, and she said "yes," so I shot her. 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1605 The tag suggest that they live in China. 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1606 We had the devil of a time getting it past Hagrid. 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
1607 You like that - You should see the one Don Jr. and Eric got. 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
1608 It’s from my first IPO. 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
1609 It probably went extinct because it was less horny than the others. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1610 I bagged this one in a dumpster after 'Carousel' closed. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1611 Trump said it was okay. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1612 Do you think this strikes the right note of middle aged whimsy? 1.2937 0.04397 160 121 31 8
1613 It all started in the parking lot of the first ComiCon. 1.2937 0.04397 160 121 31 8
1614 A one-point buck…pathetic. 1.2937 0.04658 160 124 25 11
1615 Am I drunk? 1.2937 0.04905 160 127 19 14
1616 My daughter still isn't talking to me. 1.2937 0.04486 160 122 29 9
1617 I bagged this beauty while on a lovely LSD safari 1.2937 0.04486 160 122 29 9
1618 The Mrs. won't let me hang my leprechaun. 1.2937 0.04573 160 123 27 10
1619 My daughter's not happy about it. 1.2937 0.04573 160 123 27 10
1620 Actually, the hardest part of the hunt was getting all the glitter out of my truck afterward... 1.2930 0.04451 157 119 30 8
1621 I bagged this one in the Magic Kingdom. 1.2930 0.04358 157 118 32 7
1622 Yup, I killed the dream I dreamed. 1.2930 0.04631 157 121 26 10
1623 Nothing surprises me anymore. 1.2930 0.04631 157 121 26 10
1624 I was told they were extinct. That was obviously fake news. 1.2930 0.04542 157 120 28 9
1625 Yes, it IS unbelievable. 1.2930 0.04804 157 123 22 12
1626 Of course, me being a virgin gave me an advantage that not every fella has. 1.2930 0.04888 157 124 20 13
1627 Fools chase their dreams. I caught mine and shot it. 1.2930 0.04718 157 122 24 11
1628 Finding the virgin, of course, was the hard part. 1.2930 0.04804 157 123 22 12
1629 … and I traded the Trump boys two pandas for this beauty. 1.2930 0.04804 157 123 22 12
1630 This one has eluded Donald Jr. for quite some time. 1.2930 0.04971 157 125 18 14
1631 Yeah, last one. They went fast once Trump reversed Obama's ban on hunting them. 1.2930 0.04718 157 122 24 11
1632 Did I ever tell you about the tragic ending of my daughter's seven-year-old birthday party? 1.2930 0.04542 157 120 28 9
1633 There we were, face to face on the merry-go-round, when I slowly lifted the rifle... 1.2930 0.04804 157 123 22 12
1634 Simply amazing. I can't believe it's 1:45 in the morning already! 1.2930 0.04542 157 120 28 9
1635 'It doesn't look real, does it?' 1.2930 0.04631 157 121 26 10
1636 I shot this one with a rainbow. 1.2930 0.04718 157 122 24 11
1637 They can't be endangered if no one believes they're real. 1.2930 0.04358 157 118 32 7
1638 The DNA resequencing and cloning cost a fortune, but I got to shoot her. 1.2930 0.04718 157 122 24 11
1639 Bagged the middle one on Coney Island last month 1.2930 0.04264 157 117 34 6
1640 Still beautiful, but the magic is gone. 1.2930 0.04358 157 118 32 7
1641 Why chase a fantasy when you can just hang it on your mantle? 1.2930 0.04542 157 120 28 9
1642 I still can't believe he never existed. 1.2930 0.04631 157 121 26 10
1643 Well, well...I guess unicorns really do...I mean did exist. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1644 ... and that was the last time I dropped acid on a hunting safari. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1645 Gotta admit, boys, that nothing tops a hunting expedition to 'Narnia'. 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
1646 Some exotic place? Hell no. I bagged it at granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2922 0.04955 154 122 19 13
1647 I know I know. A one-point isn’t as impressive as a ten-point. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
1648 I was out chasing rainbows when I came across this one... 1.2922 0.04781 154 120 23 11
1649 My first time carousel hunting and I bagged a unicorn. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
1650 I bet there's a magical story behind that one. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1651 It's the only one I've ever seen. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1652 They taste like chicken. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1653 I’d been chasing him for years, but always mythed. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1654 I made an unbelievable shot. 1.2922 0.04869 154 121 21 12
1655 So if you don't eat red meat, you might try the orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, or violet. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1656 And that one I bagged at Disneyworld. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1657 Got that one on a magical mystery tour. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1658 The clock? Mid-century. Our find at a garage sale. 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
1659 We camouflaged ourselves as gumdrops at the entrance of The Rainbow Bridge. 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
1660 They're supposed to have magical powers, but, you know, they look nice on a wall, too. 1.2922 0.04869 154 121 21 12
1661 We bagged that one on our safari to Narnia. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1662 Getting it out of Disney's Animal Kingdom was even more difficult... 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1663 Which reminds me, Carl, you going to make it to the Trump rally next week? 1.2922 0.05040 154 123 17 14
1664 Don't you dare tell my granddaughter. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1665 I have always been an advocate for diversity. 1.2922 0.04214 154 114 35 5
1666 Would you look at the rack on her! 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1667 My kid told me that all I had to do was believe to see the unicorns. It worked! 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
1668 I found Walt Disney World a lot less forgiving than Africa 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1669 He said, 'Don't dream it, do it.' So I did. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1670 We read that giving the kids a say in decorating might help them cope with the move. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1671 It was the Vice President who led the campaign to have it removed from the endangered species list. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
1672 Luckily mythical creatures are not on the endangered species list. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1673 It was not on the endangered species list. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
1674 Fiction trumps reality. 1.2922 0.04781 154 120 23 11
1675 Got the permit thanks to Secretary of Interior Zinke and Trump Jr. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
1676 I had green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees. Some rats and cats and elephants but as sure as you’re born, I just never had a unicorn. 1.2922 0.04955 154 122 19 13
1677 I always say: If you love something, shoot it, and mount it on your wall. 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1678 Our club has always been in the forefront in promoting diversity. 1.2919 0.04877 161 128 19 14
1679 Bagged this one just outside Orlando at a place called "Universal" something-or-other. 1.2914 0.04845 151 118 22 11
1680 It was a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ situation, if ever there was one. 1.2914 0.05024 151 120 18 13
1681 They said it was a once in a lifetime shot. 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1682 Don't worry. The feds only care about endangered species. Myths are exempt. 1.2914 0.04264 151 112 34 5
1683 I kind of regret shooting that one. Only has one horn. 1.2911 0.04144 158 117 36 5
1684 I vacillate between seeing disdain or insouciance in those eyes. 1.2911 0.04517 158 121 28 9
1685 I've wanted one ever since I was a little girl but it's not quite the same now. 1.2911 0.04605 158 122 26 10
1686 It's true some of my hunting stories are fairy tales. 1.2911 0.04517 158 121 28 9
1687 I got the head, but the horny horse's ass was purchased by a Russian collector for display at the White House. 1.2911 0.04692 158 123 24 11
1688 We needed to thin the herd. 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
1689 I have this silly little goal of shooting one of everything. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
1690 Next to last. I'm not a monster. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
1691 He tweeted this morning that he personally shot him 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
1692 Of course, that was before the Endangered Species Act. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
1693 I bagged a leprechaun also but I thought it might be in bad taste. 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
1694 It's fake, but it keeps the grand kids out of my man cave. 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
1695 It was the only way I could prove it exists... or used to. 1.2903 0.04481 155 118 29 8
1696 My daughter isn’t speeking to me. 1.2903 0.04665 155 120 25 10
1697 I had to be pretty imaginative to bag him. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
1698 I bagged those two and just outgrew the one in the middle. 1.2903 0.04753 155 121 23 11
1699 NOW there are no unicorns. 1.2903 0.04290 155 116 33 6
1700 It's a fake. 1.2901 0.04607 162 126 25 11
1701 Merry-go-round. Chainsaw. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
1702 I hated to ruin such a magical moment. But then I said to myself, 'Stuff it!' 1.2895 0.04995 152 121 18 13
1703 Wow, Stuart! Is that clock real?! 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
1704 She was walking under a rainbow, through a cloud of fairy dust, and BAM I made the kill shot. 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
1705 Proud? Not really. I was actually after Bigfoot. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1706 The taxidermist said he'd never seen anything like it. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
1707 I bagged that one with Leary in the '60s. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1708 I bagged this one off the Coney Island carousel 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1709 I call it my Mythbuster trophy. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1710 Your grandson's brownies are magical. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1711 The hunt was legendary but obtaining the permit was a nightmare. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1712 If we didn’t pay to hunt them, they probably wouldn’t even exist anymore. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1713 I know that hunting endangered species is illegal, but there is no law protecting imaginary animals. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1714 The divorce is going fine. Thanks for asking. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
1715 God bless Scott Pruitt and the easing of EPA regulations. 1.2895 0.04907 152 120 20 12
1716 Shot it with a rainbow 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1717 And I bagged this one in Narnia! 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
1718 My daughter still hasn’t forgiven me for that one. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1719 Huh. So after all these years standing here, staring into the upside down, we finally have proof it’s not a myth: they do allow black people in the club! 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
1720 After I shot that one, my granddaughter rammed my Cadillac with her tricycle. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1721 You may be a wizard Harry, but you're also a bit of a git! 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
1722 How does having this make me feel? I dunno. I'm a sociopath. 1.2895 0.04907 152 120 20 12
1723 You should see his trophy wife. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1724 It's not real but people are really impressed by it. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1725 This goes great with the Care Bearskin rug. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
1726 Now they're officially extinct. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1727 I thought my daughter would be thrilled, but, oddly, she was not. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
1728 It was an adventure of mythical proportions. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
1729 I got this one on my dream safari 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
1730 It was never on the Endangered Species List. I'm not a monster. 1.2895 0.04907 152 120 20 12
1731 I didn’t shoot the unicorn. He dropped dead when Trump was elected president. 1.2895 0.04995 152 121 18 13
1732 How will I ever confess to the grandkids that it's really white horse wearing a party hat ? 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
1733 And last, but not least.. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1734 I bagged this one during a snipe hunt 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1735 Now this one I'm particularly proud of. I completely made it up. 1.2885 0.04456 156 119 29 8
1736 Yeah, that was a good trip...but I did feel kinda silly wearing glittery rainbow camouflage. 1.2885 0.04727 156 122 23 11
1737 I bagged it at the end of a rainbow after the damnedest gumdrop storm you ever saw. 1.2885 0.04813 156 123 21 12
1738 Technically not endangered. 1.2877 0.03883 146 105 40 1
1739 ...so it turns out they are actually really easy to sneak up on! 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
1740 Two days of negotiation at a merry-go-round consignment shop in New Jersey. 1.2876 0.04512 153 117 28 8
1741 We had a helluva time sawing the other horn off. 1.2876 0.04416 153 116 30 7
1742 The President shot the middle one on the Whitehouse lawns. 1.2876 0.04606 153 118 26 9
1743 This one is My Little Favorite. 1.2876 0.04216 153 114 34 5
1744 I was given this one after investing in Airbnb and Uber. 1.2876 0.04416 153 116 30 7
1745 Bagged this sucker with my glitter gun. 1.2867 0.05024 143 113 19 11
1746 The wife thought the wall needed a touch of the feminine. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1747 They wouldn't let her put it in her dorm room. 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
1748 My next trophy is the tooth fairy. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1749 You should've seen the looks on those second graders... 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1750 Rainbow glitter everywhere. It does not come off. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1751 Caption 1: "3D printing has done wonders for my trophy collection." Caption 2: "I said narwhal but I think my dealer heard Warhol." 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1752 My granddaughter was really unhappy with this one. 1.2867 0.05124 150 121 15 14
1753 If you thought killing a lion in Africa was expensive... 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1754 Never mind that; what did you do with the Princess? 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1755 My son, the hunter, is gay 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1756 Turns out it was just an ice cream cone. 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
1757 Amazing, yes, and what's really gratifying is, all the hunting fees I paid go to support unicorn conservation! 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1758 There's no such thing as unicorns...now. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1759 The thing is, he was aiming for the dragon. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1760 Needless to say, my daughter’s birthday wasn’t the success I was expecting. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1761 Boys, I appreciate the intention, but at my age, symbolism is no substitute for Viagra. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1762 My son shot his horse and the horn was my idea. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1763 I bagged that one at Palisades Amusement Park in '70. 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
1764 My expedition set out the day the Mythical Animals Act was repealed. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1765 Haight-Ashbury, 1967. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1766 That middle one was tough because the damned carousel kept spinning around and around. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1767 It was the last one and I just had to have it. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1768 Before this, my daughters used to talk to me. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1769 Unicorns aren’t real? Another example of a #fakenews story. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1770 Kind of magical, don't you think? 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1771 I just asked the taxidermist to add on the ice cream cone, and voíla... 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1772 This baby and the stuffed Yeti in the hallway are the jewels of my collection. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1773 Never hunt at night. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1774 Not bad for a Muggle, eh? 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
1775 Fake news knows no bounds. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1776 That shot was especially challenging because of the young girl on its back 1.2867 0.04370 150 113 31 6
1777 Yes, I bagged this beauty days after the EPA announced the repeal of the Endangered Species Act. I must admit, I had my doubts, but this President continues to deliver on his promises. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1778 My daughter disowned me. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1779 It's not a white rhino, but what can you do? 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1780 Of course, the real challenge was getting it past customs. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1781 My granddaughter was upset, but I think it toughened her up. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1782 And this one is from the time Cynthia refused to clean her room. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1783 Yeah, I’m at the top of PETA’s list. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1784 Yes, my grandchildren were heartbroken, but I just had to have one. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1785 I know it's not real, but then-neither are we! 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1786 How was I to know it was the last of its kind. Now my kids won't even talk to me. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1787 Sure it makes my grandchildren cry, but all those years of tracking rainbow poop, I've got to hang it. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1788 Scott Pruitt made the middle trophy possible. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1789 I do try to use the whole unicorn. 1.2867 0.04266 150 112 33 5
1790 The hard part was finding a princess to act as the bait. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1791 My ex did call me the killer of dreams 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1792 Sparkles here is the reason I only have one lung. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1793 Fun fact: It was not the last one. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1794 I had to use glitter bullets on that one. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1795 Bagged that when I was on an LSD trip years ago. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1796 You should’ve seen the centaur that got away. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1797 Mythical, maybe. Dead, definitely. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1798 I used a double barreled shotgun and strong hallucinogens. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1799 It was always on my bucket list. 1.2867 0.04667 150 116 25 9
1800 I don't think this is what my daughter meant when she asked for a stuffed unicorn. 1.2867 0.04471 150 114 29 7
1801 The NRA is insisting on diversity. 1.2867 0.04855 150 118 21 11
1802 Oh hell, this ones just my mask from burning man. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1803 Yes, bagged that on a trip with Eric and Don Jr.. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1804 And even then I couldn't get an erection. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1805 It's my old horse. I glued the painted carrot on his forehead. 1.2867 0.04762 150 117 23 10
1806 I think it's starting to kick in. Should we all kiss? 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1807 I have the last passenger pigeon too. 1.2867 0.04570 150 115 27 8
1808 Oh, I admit it was cute, but it kept crappin' on my lawn! 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1809 Bagged it at my daughters birthday party 1.2848 0.04917 151 120 19 12
1810 Yeah, it was the last one. I guess that means I "Won". 1.2848 0.04445 151 115 29 7
1811 I love LSD nights at your house. 1.2848 0.04345 151 114 31 6
1812 She never even knew what glitter. 1.2847 0.04894 144 113 21 10
1813 What's weird is the guy down at Jimmy's Taxidermy said it was a fake. 1.2839 0.04735 155 122 22 11
1814 Mrs.Thurber shot it in her garden right after she was released from the hospital. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1815 Yeah, my granddaughter was NOT happy. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1816 It turns out that a My Little Pony hunting license is very pricey. 1.2838 0.04292 148 111 32 5
1817 My granddaughter has never forgiven me for that kill. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1818 My Little Pony is next. 1.2838 0.05077 148 119 16 13
1819 I used superglue...and suave. My ten year old daughter still thinks it’s legit. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1820 I think it's a fake. What do you think? 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1821 Not me ... my little granddaughter bagged that one. That was before she became a vegan. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1822 You really do take the fun out of everything. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1823 I bagged that one using hollow-point skittles. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1824 I don't think this is what your daughter meant when she said she wanted a unicorn... 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1825 My daughter has stopped speaking with me. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1826 Oh yes! Becky is an avid hunter and NRA member! 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1827 So I said to Don Jr and Eric, 'Why don't you let me keep this one?' 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1828 Seeing my kids not on their phones is rarer. 1.2838 0.04072 148 109 36 3
1829 It lends a certain 'Je ne sais quoi,' don't you think? 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1830 My grandchildren want to kill me... 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1831 My granddaughter bagged the one in the middle. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1832 It's from a merry-go-around but it keeps my grandchildren away. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1833 I know it's nothing compared to your 12-point buck, Larry, but it works with the ladies. 1.2838 0.04072 148 109 36 3
1834 You would not believe what my granddaughter called me! 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1835 And that was the end of what had been a very promising startup I.P.O. 1.2838 0.04986 148 118 18 12
1836 It was really tough getting that one off the carousel. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1837 My toughest kill. It kept flying around farting rainbows. 1.2838 0.05077 148 119 16 13
1838 She was originally commissioned for the Oval but Don was insecure about the pink and purple sparkly flowing mane. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1839 I got a great deal on the middle one - a British guy called Voldemort sold it to me. 1.2838 0.04184 148 110 34 4
1840 Internet misunderstanding; I thought I was buying into 'Uni-coin'. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1841 Realistic looking, but, Fake News. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1842 Next, come see the Loch Ness room. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1843 It's of the genus carousel. 1.2838 0.04292 148 111 32 5
1844 Our guide was a satyr named Lenny. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1845 We know a thing or two because we've seen thing or two; pamparrampampam 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1846 It's supposedly mythical, but I found lots of them on Wall Street. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1847 Now that's a combover! 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1848 Now, we are truly able to say there is no such thing as a unicorn. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1849 My granddaughter no longer speaks to me, but I like it. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1850 So they did exist! 1.2838 0.04072 148 109 36 3
1851 She told me she wanted one, now my granddaughter won't talk to me. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1852 You don't see too many one-point bucks. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1853 She begged me to spare her life, but what am I - a Democrat? 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1854 I spotted him at the end of an outstanding rainbow. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1855 My daughter really wanted one, but she seemed upset when I showed it to her. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1856 And that's my little pony... 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1857 Yes, she's a beauty from a bygone era- the carousel from Palisades Park. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1858 And this is the trophy I took when I stepped off the merry go round. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1859 Poor bastard thought _I_ was imaginary. 1.2838 0.05167 148 120 14 14
1860 Buying a six-year-old's soul was the hard part. After that, it was just like hunting anything else. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1861 I bagged this one at the Cloisters. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1862 Note the orange mane! 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1863 My daughter wanted to mount a unicorn, so I did. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1864 Dirty little secret, they love Doritos. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1865 I hallucinate when I hunt. 1.2838 0.04986 148 118 18 12
1866 The wife made me glue on the horn. I guess a unicorn is exotic, but a horse is weird. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1867 Actually, my wife took its other antler in the divorce. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1868 I credit my imaginary friend for the middle trophy. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1869 That's from my merry go round collection 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1870 Shouldn't that be in the Rainbow Room? 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1871 I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit this, but I simply fired into a herd of them outside Palo Alto and this one just dropped. 1.2838 0.04986 148 118 18 12
1872 Weird but the deer and the cow were the hard ones to get . . . 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1873 Did you buy the whole Ferris wheel? 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1874 The last unicorn.... We probably should have bred her first. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1875 ...and he won the Belmont Stakes by a horn. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1876 It was the most challenging terrain I've ever hunted -- the display floor at FAO Schwarz. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1877 Yes, it's true: rainbows! But they still smell like regular farts. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1878 I tried to hunt this one from a helicopter, but I ended up having to rent a griffin. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1879 My little girl shot that one. 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1880 Well, they don't exist anymore. 1.2838 0.04986 148 118 18 12
1881 Got 'em at thirty yards in front of Tristar Pictures, Culver City, California... 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1882 For some reason, my family stopped talking to me after this one. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1883 From a distance, it looked like a rhino. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1884 I got that one off a Merry Go Round in 1989. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1885 We call her "Hillary". 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1886 Now, this one I don't remember too much. I was experimenting with LSD at the time. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1887 Anyone can be a myth-buster, but how many have the commitment to be a myth-killer? 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1888 And I killed this one by driving a carrot through its skull. 1.2838 0.05077 148 119 16 13
1889 I know it's really a prop. But he just shouted, "Fake News" until we agreed to hang it. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1890 As expected, tastes like Chicken. 1.2838 0.04798 148 116 22 10
1891 Bagging that one was a dream come true. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1892 That's when my grandaughter stopped talking to me. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1893 My daughter isn't talking to me anymore. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1894 You should see the Pegasus that got away. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1895 The real difficulty was finding a virgin to bait the field. 1.2838 0.05167 148 120 14 14
1896 How? I followed my dream. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1897 I got the very last one! 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1898 If he were really so magical, he would have flown away. 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1899 Am I a bad person? 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1900 It turned out that it was the company's earnings that were mythical. 1.2838 0.04398 148 112 30 6
1901 The one in the middle is virtual. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1902 So lifelike.... 1.2838 0.04602 148 114 26 8
1903 My kids are still crying. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1904 Don Jr said endangered species are THE status symbol. 1.2838 0.04893 148 117 20 11
1905 Yep, Florida Fun Fair Carousel 1986. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
1906 There's nothing quite like bagging the last intellectual conservative. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1907 It was a dream trip. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1908 My daughter has never stopped hating me. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1909 Actually, I hit it while backing out of my driveway. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1910 It was strange how this one kept bobbing up and down going in circles and not to mention the music. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1911 The farting rainbow thing is the myth 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1912 I'm still wondering why she isn't called a unihorn 1.2819 0.04769 149 117 22 10
1913 It took forever, but you have to indulge the trophy wife. 1.2819 0.04475 149 114 28 7
1914 I hate sounding like Trump, but I’ve got to say it’s a fake trophy. 1.2819 0.04575 149 115 26 8
1915 My children have stopped talking to me... 1.2819 0.04475 149 114 28 7
1916 I didn't so much kill it, as I did love it to death. 1.2819 0.04373 149 113 30 6
1917 A taxidermist walks into a bar... 1.2817 0.04934 142 112 20 10
1918 I had to be so accurate at the time as the carousel was fully occupied. 1.2808 0.04635 146 113 25 8
1919 I bagged him at the Renaissance Faire. 1.2808 0.04319 146 110 31 5
1920 Not boasting, of course, but I got the very last one before they became extinct. 1.2808 0.04532 146 112 27 7
1921 I literally killed a fantasy. 1.2808 0.04736 146 114 23 9
1922 It's actually just a GMO horse. 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
1923 I feel a little guilty about that one. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1924 Call me a snob, but I think the one in the middle’s a reproduction. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1925 Taxidermist let us stuff her with cotton candy. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1926 I'll lend you the book—it describes these beasts and where to find them. 1.2797 0.04483 143 109 28 6
1927 The kids were pretty upset about that one. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1928 ...so there I was in the Candy Cane forest 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
1929 ...and this one is from Don Junior's private collection 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1930 Well, they WERE real. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1931 The eyelashes are real but I glued the horn on myself 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1932 So I told her it's my man cave and I'll put what I like in it 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
1933 He was in a herd of strange beasts who were oddly running in a circle, 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
1934 It's the first one that's actually a chick magnet. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
1935 My granddaughter still hasn't forgiven me for ruining her birthday party. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
1936 We’re now hunting children’s dreams to extinction. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1937 They were thought to be extinct, but I proved otherwise. 1.2786 0.03802 140 101 39 0
1938 You know, it was just too hard to keep its wings clipped 1.2781 0.04619 151 118 24 9
1939 My financial advisor told me to invest in a unicorn. 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
1940 Yes,the false eyelashes surprised me too. And the wig. 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
1941 That one is not as horny as the other two. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1942 Please don't tell my daughter about this. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1943 It was particularly difficult to bring that into the country. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1944 Beauty humiliates me, so I destroy it. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1945 And the steaks were, of course, served rare. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1946 This is the result of Trump gutting the Imaginary Species Act. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1947 So my daughter stopped speaking to me, but it really brings the room togerther. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1948 It was a billion in one shot. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1949 First, bait them with tax cuts, then use the red tape to bring 'em down. 1.2766 0.04942 141 112 19 10
1950 The unicorn required an accurate shot, since the merry-go-round had started moving. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1951 You think you're done for, then instinct takes over. 1.2766 0.05044 141 113 17 11
1952 My daughter bagged it when she was seven. 1.2766 0.05044 141 113 17 11
1953 After that, nobody ever again told me you couldn’t kill a horse with a narwhal. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1954 The good news is my proctologist expects me to have a full recovery. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1955 Yes, it IS one of a kind. 1.2766 0.04283 141 106 31 4
1956 I never dreamed environmental deregulation would go this far! 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
1957 I’ve hunted for one all my life, then there it was, doing a commercial. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1958 Glad to see the new White House hunting trophies match his Time Magazine covers. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1959 It was a magical moment. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1960 My daughter compared me to Voldemort. It was worth it. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1961 Yes, this was yet another trophy donated by Dick Cheney... 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1962 My daughter’s first kill. She was only ten. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1963 Bagged it during my weekend at Woodstock. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1964 Unfortunately for her, my wish was to finish decorating the den. 1.2766 0.04283 141 106 31 4
1965 The hardest part was finding the virgin maiden hunting guide. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1966 Knowing what I know now... yeah, I suppose I do have some regret. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1967 It was magically delicious! 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1968 It’s the only one I brought down using an ice cream cone! 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1969 Is this what they meant when they said we should embrace diversity? 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1970 There I was - the sun just beginning to fall - and I heard a noise. I whirled around and suddenly realized - I was alone - on the Merry-go-round. So... 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1971 Yes. He actually did fart glitter. 1.2766 0.04838 141 111 21 9
1972 The unicorn I got at a Dead concert back in '72. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1973 Bagged him in Disneyworld in 07. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1974 Well, I guess Greg really did go to Candy Mountain for his latest hunting trip. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1975 The hardest part was finding a virgin to lure this beauty out of the woods. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1976 Of course I told my daughter they weren't real. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1977 Donors visit to Eric and Donald, Jr.'s last of their species room. 1.2766 0.04163 141 105 33 3
1978 Well, he granted me one wish. 1.2759 0.04536 145 112 26 7
1979 Actually, Big Foot shot that one. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
1980 I had to get one before they were all gone. 1.2752 0.04453 149 115 27 7
1981 Actually, it’s just a pony that was raised on GMO hay. 1.2746 0.04808 142 112 21 9
1982 Don, Jr. really screwed up this time. 1.2746 0.04703 142 111 23 8
1983 Yeah, she's a real beauty. I bagged her with Excalibur. 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
1984 Are you a big game hunter or the prince of narnia? 1.2746 0.04486 142 109 27 6
1985 I found it in a Thurber story. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1986 Yes, of course I knew it was endangered and now extinct but come on, look at those lashes. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1987 I bagged that one in my sleep. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
1988 They are not quite as rare as you think. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1989 Inconceivable! Did you know that your clock is 3 minutes fast? 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1990 I think that a carriage clock would help the room look more formal. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1991 My granddaughter wasn't as excited about it as I expected. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
1992 It was unusual. No blood. Just glitter. 1.2734 0.04186 139 104 32 3
1993 My daughter brought it back from a birthday party. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
1994 The one in the middle is from a trip with Puff the Magic Dragon 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1995 I have to admit, I thought all those trips to Narnia he talked about were made up. 1.2734 0.04982 139 111 18 10
1996 I bagged the last one after the EPA voided the Endangered Species Act 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
1997 I bagged that one at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. 1.2734 0.04309 139 105 30 4
1998 It just tastes like chicken. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
1999 Actually, my grand-daughter bagged that one. 1.2734 0.04982 139 111 18 10
2000 Trump Jr. assured me that it wasn't wasteful. The villagers were happy for the meat. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2001 The hardest part was getting the rainbow bullets. 1.2734 0.04428 139 106 28 5
2002 White privilege. It’s everywhere you look. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2003 That’s from the psilocybin safari 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2004 Timothy Leary and I were walking in a park near Greenwich, and on a whim we followed some six year old to a birthday party and there it was. 1.2734 0.04982 139 111 18 10
2005 Lucky for me, it was the last one. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2006 I bagged this one while on safari in Candyland. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2007 Who wants to tell Jack that he'll have to re-book the entertainment for his granddaughter's birthday party? 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2008 And here we have my prized possession, the Hopes and Dreams of the Obama Administration. 1.2734 0.05187 139 113 14 12
2009 So glad, " Fake news" is a thing of the past"! 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2010 I'm hoping it's less controversial than Cecil the Lion. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2011 They're really just horses from the neck down. 1.2734 0.04428 139 106 28 5
2012 My daughter wasn't too thrilled about that one... 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2013 And if you move on to the living room you will see the Big-Foot rug. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2014 Gay Gun Club’s ‘Fabulous First Meeting’ 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2015 And this, my friends, was once a gentle, inquisitive, and whimsical creature whom I felt like killing. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2016 I shot her last Sunday in my fantasy hunting league. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2017 They say the meat tastes like Big Bird... 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2018 I'll never forget my first trip to Disneyland. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2019 ...so graceful and magical. Also, dumb. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2020 And, that 'Come, hither' look made this one an especially hard kill. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2021 I've heard some jerkwater wizard has put a bounty on my head. 1.2734 0.04309 139 105 30 4
2022 County fair carousel - 1977 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2023 I'm still torn over the ethics of killing for fantasy sport. 1.2734 0.04186 139 104 32 3
2024 On that same hunting trip I also bagged a jackalope. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2025 So, anyone gonna say anything about the Unicorn on Dave's wall? 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2026 If anyone asks, this doesn't exist. 1.2734 0.04428 139 106 28 5
2027 The wager was he didn't exist. I won. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2028 I used a legendary bullet. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2029 Surprisingly, once barbequed, it tasted like chicken. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2030 Isn't 3D printing wonderful. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2031 Better keep this under wraps, remember that dentist who killed the Lion? 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2032 My granddaughter said the giant teddy bear still didn’t make up for it. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2033 A phoenix over the fireplace would have made a lot more sense. 1.2734 0.04428 139 106 28 5
2034 That's when my granddaughter stopped speaking to me. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2035 You wouldn't believe how distracting rainbows can be when trying to get a kill shot. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2036 That's the last time my daughter went with me on safari. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2037 Lost the granddaughter with that one. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2038 My daughter never forgave me. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2039 Took her down with My Little Winchester. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2040 My grand-daughter kept asking for one, so... 1.2734 0.05086 139 112 16 11
2041 No, don't be silly. I used to maintain the carousel down on the boardwalk. 1.2734 0.04768 139 109 22 8
2042 It sure is a beautiful trophy - the downside is that I'm doomed to live a cursed, half-life for the rest of eternity, and my 7 year old grand-daughter hates me. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2043 If it was real, my daughters would have my head up there instead. 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2044 This one I bagged on a Coney Island merry-go-round safari 1.2734 0.04876 139 110 20 9
2045 My taxidermist is also the town beautician. 1.2734 0.04544 139 107 26 6
2046 And that's when I realized that I was at a Furry convention. 1.2734 0.04982 139 111 18 10
2047 He was hiding in my daughter's bedroom. 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
2048 Do you know how hard it is to score a Unicorn permit? 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
2049 My only concern was whether that was ivory or not. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
2050 I bagged it in Silicon Valley. 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
2051 That antique clock is a rare Tambour. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
2052 I took this specimen from the Forbidden Forest. Thank goodness Trump lifted the unicorn import ban. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
2053 Oh, that's just my little trophy. 1.2727 0.04880 143 114 19 10
2054 I bagged that one at Magic Kingdom. 1.2721 0.05163 136 110 15 11
2055 My daughter still hates me. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
2056 See that one in the middle there? It's diamond encrusted from Tiffany's. And keeps perfect time too. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
2057 I got it when the circus closed It reminds me of my ex wife 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
2058 They did say imagination was the greatest weapon 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
2059 He charged, a twinkle in his eyes, rainbows shooting from his nostrils.... 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
2060 Used a double barrel loaded with pixie dust on this one. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
2061 Actually it tastes like chicken. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
2062 Yeah, the grandkids aren’t allowed in this room anymore 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
2063 Papa Smurf led us to a whole herd of them. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
2064 Our centaur shot that one. 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
2065 Well, when I was a kid Dad got me a gun instead of the My Little Pony I wanted. 1.2714 0.04738 140 110 22 8
2066 How'd I know that I'd crossed into Fantasy Land? 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
2067 I haven't yet told the kids that it's fake. 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
2068 Do I regret killing Sparkles? Only every time I see a rainbow. 1.2714 0.04282 140 106 30 4
2069 I'm fine with it. He assured me he wasn't the last. 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
2070 It turns out that PETA doesn't have leverage in dealing with mythical creatures. 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
2071 My granddaughter's first kill. 1.2714 0.04401 140 107 28 5
2072 And that one's from our safari in the wardrobe. 1.2714 0.04845 140 111 20 9
2073 You might recall this from that New Age remake of The Godfather? 1.2714 0.04845 140 111 20 9
2074 It cost me a million in therapy and my kids still don't speak to me, but the Trump part of me feels it was totally worth it... 1.2714 0.04738 140 110 22 8
2075 No choice really. Not if I wanted roses in the garden. 1.2708 0.04540 144 112 25 7
2076 Nowadays, you can't even look at a horny female. 1.2708 0.04749 144 114 21 9
2077 Marlene didn't believe I'd seen it, so I found it again and shot it to prove her wrong. 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
2078 She was My little pony. 1.2701 0.05023 137 110 17 10
2079 My first fantasy convention, and I quite enjoyed it. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
2080 I got this one on a carousel. 1.2701 0.04335 137 104 29 4
2081 It's funny how the eye seems to follow you around the room. 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
2082 I bagged this one on Wall Street 1.2701 0.04915 137 109 19 9
2083 It was his last wish. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
2084 And that was one of the many that did’t quite make it in Silicon Valley. 1.2701 0.04915 137 109 19 9
2085 No, its just a faked up old pony that keeled over at my daughter's birthday party. Least I could do for her. 1.2701 0.05023 137 110 17 10
2086 I swear if they say one more thing about how unicorns are not real. 1.2701 0.04691 137 107 23 7
2087 At first I thought I was seeing things, but then I saw the glitter trail. 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
2088 I was the first to bag a Silicon Valley unicorn. 1.2701 0.04079 137 102 33 2
2089 Do you think this means female orgasms are real too? 1.2701 0.05129 137 111 15 11
2090 Don't feel bad. It's only imaginary! 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
2091 "Found it poking around my Viagra. 1.2701 0.05129 137 111 15 11
2092 Bagged him on the carousel at Asbury Park. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
2093 It wasn't as hard as you think. It just kept coming around and around until I bagged it 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
2094 Some guilt, but Don Jr. said his dad removed it from the endangered list, so...you know. I took my shot. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
2095 This one I shot because I really didn't like his attitude 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
2096 At first it was PETA, then the ACLU got involved, then it was a LGBT coalition. Our lawyers said it would be cheaper to settle... 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
2097 A tough shot. She was spinning around on a carousel with a little kid on her back. 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
2098 You wouldn’t believe the taxidermist’s bill. 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
2099 I bagged that one while hunting for a big foot in Narnia. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
2100 Most evil hunter? I was neck and neck with the President's son and some dentist, but now I'm a head. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
2101 If you think that’s impressive, you should see the hood of my car. 1.2695 0.04256 141 107 30 4
2102 The horn is the straightest thing about this. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2103 it was a magical feeling . 1.2690 0.04512 145 113 25 7
2104 I do have a few mythical issues with it. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
2105 Bagged this beauty at my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
2106 In the other room I have some green alligators and long-necked geese, humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees... 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
2107 Coney Island, 1962. I was five. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
2108 Yes, Old Stewball was a real race horse, and I'm glad he was mine. He actually only drank water, but he earned me great wine. His bridle was silver, and he dyed his mane gold; His Unicorn name was Phyllis, and she never looked old. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
2109 I recall Kesey was driving when this guy tried to get on the bus. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
2110 Well, we were all taking a lot of LSD back in those days. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
2111 Well Frank, I think you just punched your ticket to go straight to hell. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
2112 I got it at Costco. It's the last one they had. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
2113 Unique? Sure. But my little girl hasn’t spoken to me in three years. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
2114 It can't be real. Just look at those lashes... 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
2115 Grab your coats. The Yeti is in the walk-in freezer. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
2116 Of course, accessories and a little eye makeup, go a long way. 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
2117 This one was like a dream come true. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
2118 It’s a surprise for my daughter. She loves stuffed animals 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
2119 It was easy. She reminded me of my ex-wife. 1.2681 0.04990 138 111 17 10
2120 It just seemed to be daring me. 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
2121 It belonged to the prior owner, some British guy named Lord Voldemort. 1.2681 0.05095 138 112 15 11
2122 Yeah, but at least I hold the Guinness world record for hate mail, and the second runner-up position for death threats. 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
2123 ...so naturally I shot him. 1.2681 0.04773 138 109 21 8
2124 I nailed this sucker after my Son fell off the carousel. 1.2681 0.04183 138 104 31 3
2125 Yep, tagged this one in the enchanted forest. 1.2676 0.04347 142 109 28 5
2126 An antelope, a unicorn, and a bull walk into a topless bar . . . 1.2676 0.04784 142 113 20 9
2127 Luckily, I brought the shotgun to my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2667 0.05065 135 109 16 10
2128 From Toys"R"Us's going-out-of-business sale. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
2129 She decided she wanted a hamster 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
2130 I know. I know. I didn't think they existed either. I saw it and just had to have it, so I shot it. 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
2131 Shhhh... they're all fake. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
2132 ..And this one just came out of nowhere from behind that old Toys R’ Us... 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
2133 I'm pretty sure I bagged my limit on that one. 1.2667 0.03962 135 100 34 1
2134 Capturing the horse was easy. Gluing the cone on was the hard part. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
2135 It tasted like chicken. 1.2667 0.04954 135 108 18 9
2136 Sure, Ron, all your hunting stories end with 'it must have been magic.' 1.2657 0.04543 143 112 24 7
2137 Surprisingly, it tasted a lot like California Condor. 1.2657 0.04857 143 115 18 10
2138 How a horse mated with a narwhal, I'll never know. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2139 Beauty mocks me, so I destroy it. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2140 This have really changed under Scott Pruitt 1.2652 0.05253 132 108 13 11
2141 Miracles really do come true once you find the right taxidermist. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2142 No, I'd never heard of a horse falling on his sword, either. 1.2652 0.05142 132 107 15 10
2143 ...and our interior designer told us a little pop of color would be a nice update for our mounted head collection. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2144 Mythical my ass! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2145 And that one I bagged on Fantasy Island 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2146 It’s for my granddaughter. She collects unicorns. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2147 What's funny is he was aiming for the leprechaun. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2148 My granddaughter is quite a shot. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2149 I caught him crossing the road in Silicon Valley. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2150 Needless to say, my grand-daughter never forgave me for that one. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2151 General Mills has declared them Magically Delicious. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2152 Who knew? 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2153 I've Tinkerbell stuffed in the other room 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2154 He wasn't wild about my wish. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2155 It was a thank-you gift from Oliver North. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2156 This one I bagged at the Magic Kingdom. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2157 Bagged that one for my little granddaughter. Ungrateful child. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2158 I bagged him while on safari in Orlando, Florida. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2159 I got tired of keeping it real. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2160 And that’s the last time I went to Disney. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2161 I'm just that big of a dick. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2162 My daughter-in-law gave me a book about getting in touch with your feminine side and I thought, ". . . girls . . . unicorns . . . OK, I can be open to change . . . ." 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2163 Oh that one? Coney Island merry go round, Why? 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2164 The eyes really do follow you when you move. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2165 The difficulty was finding a virgin to capture it. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2166 I thought they were kidding about a fantasy hunt! 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2167 I shot that one on Halloween. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2168 I was told the money would be used to save all the other endangered unicorns 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2169 We were fortunate the hunting ban was eased. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2170 "Being mythical, I didn't have to deal with all that endangered species nonsense". 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2171 Nope, it’s not a horn, A great stylist and a lot of hairspray 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2172 He was a real party animal 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2173 This trophy was from my safari in Silicon Valley. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2174 'You ever belly crawl on a rainbow?' 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2175 It was an honor to be in Secretary Zinke's hunting party! 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2176 She has those Betty Grable eyes. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2177 You'd be amazed at what I went through to get this...at Toys R Us. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2178 I bought it on eBay; They said it was African. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2179 I like unicorns who weren’t captured 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2180 I bagged it at Mar-A-Lago. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2181 To be fair - it was running straight at the armored Jeep. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2182 His daughter lives with her mom now. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2183 It was even more a triumph of imagination than of hunting prowess. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2184 Last one, unfortunately. But, it had to be done. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2185 The broker said it’s one of a kind, but I don’t buy it. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2186 Talk about completing my wish list. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2187 I want the house to also appeal to the Millenials and Generation Z clients so we installed this vegan, faux fur, gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free, all-organic, grass woven unicorn head. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2188 Getting permission to shoot the horse was a breeze compared to finding the imported horn on the web. 1.2652 0.05253 132 108 13 11
2189 'I shot that on my fake hunting trip.' 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2190 I know both of you are sleeping with my wife. So was the unicorn. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2191 I was hunting pegasus and this showed up. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2192 What better way to preserve the last of it's kind. 1.2652 0.05142 132 107 15 10
2193 Most people don't believe the story behind that one. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2194 It's impressive, but I think his FBI Director still tops it. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2195 Let me show you my Mermaid wall. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2196 I found it on Etsy. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2197 I bagged that one back in 1974 while I was tripping. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
2198 Yes, which is what makes it so easy to get the permit. 1.2652 0.04283 132 100 29 3
2199 Actually it tastes like chicken. 1.2652 0.05142 132 107 15 10
2200 I bagged this one somewhere over the rainbow. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2201 Don’t ask. 1.2652 0.04283 132 100 29 3
2202 You know when Bernie Sanders promised us rainbows and unicorns, I really didn't think he was legit. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2203 And that’s why the president has made hunting great again. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2204 And this summer we're off to Crete to bag a minotaur. Let me know if you want in. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2205 My granddaughter has a 'My Little Pony' collection and I have mine. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2206 Those little girls cried and cried. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2207 This one's unbelievable. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2208 And I bagged this beauty in Narnia. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2209 I really wanted a rhino head but they're very scarce these days. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
2210 My granddaughter is a little upset about it. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
2211 I sold the rest for oriental medicine. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2212 I bagged the one in the middle at Disney On Ice 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2213 Only a virgin can capture one, but if you have a .308 rifle, the are pretty easy to take down. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
2214 Psh! Imaginary, my ass! 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
2215 He was a threat to our business model. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
2216 Ah, my favorite. That was 18 years ago, Silicon Valley. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
2217 Well, I guess they did exist after all. 1.2632 0.04640 133 104 23 6
2218 All I need now is a Mermaid. 1.2632 0.04255 133 101 29 3
2219 Oh yes, that was a magical hunt. 1.2632 0.04255 133 101 29 3
2220 On Big Rock Candy Mountain, why? 1.2632 0.04515 133 103 25 5
2221 So much for fantasies. 1.2632 0.04255 133 101 29 3
2222 My wife shot that one. 1.2632 0.04761 133 105 21 7
2223 I shot it with a magic bullet. 1.2632 0.04879 133 106 19 8
2224 I bagged that one on my Coney Island safari. 1.2632 0.04387 133 102 27 4
2225 Donald, Jr. sent me that one. 1.2632 0.04994 133 107 17 9
2226 Ironically, it was the last time I spoke to my daughter. 1.2632 0.04761 133 105 21 7
2227 I'm no longer welcome at the Wonderland Zoo. 1.2632 0.04515 133 103 25 5
2228 That one,yes unfortunately I was arrested for shooting a horse with a party hat. 1.2632 0.04879 133 106 19 8
2229 Bagged one on my first trip out to Silicon Valley. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2230 After that went up, my daughter got into Goth. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2231 I heard that this one was self defense. It's not all rainbows and sunshine with these guys! 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2232 Unbelievable! 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2233 Without us hunters, there really wouldn't be a conservation movement. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2234 I bagged him in under the rainbow in my granddaughter's playhouse. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2235 It's only for the summer, my granddaughters are coming to stay. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2236 To my relief, that one wasn't on the Endangered Species List either. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2237 It's from his last acid trip. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2238 This was the last one in the world, so I knew I had to have it. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2239 I actually hit this one with my car. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2240 I bagged that one at Coney Island. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2241 This is the only one my wife likes. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2242 She's got Betty Davis eyes. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2243 The hunt was magical. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2244 Can you believe it? 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2245 I couldn't find a spotted owl. 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
2246 That one took my glitter gun 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2247 The grandkids quit talking to me after I bagged that one at 'Play-Time Safari Park.' 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2248 I had to outbid Don Junior in order to shoot it, but it was worth it. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2249 The President caught this one on his last trip to the moon. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2250 Quite a feat actually - first, I had to imagine it, and then, I had to kill it. Of course, the taxidermy had to share the experience. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2251 My taxidermist is also in my fantasy league. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2252 I got that one at my little girl's birthday party. You should have heard the screams. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2253 Endangered? I prefer “mythical”. 1.2615 0.04166 130 98 30 2
2254 I don't know why everyone's so impressed. It's just a one-point buck. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2255 According to him, he was the last of his kind. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2256 I was also a bit bit skeptical but then “Nessie” is mounted down the hall. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2257 Instead of a hunting dog I used a Pegasus. 1.2615 0.05186 130 106 14 10
2258 I shot that one at FAO Schwarz in New York. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2259 Who's for some ring toss? 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2260 I bagged this one at my neice’s third birthday party. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2261 Our company takes great pride in diversity. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2262 We are fast approaching the stage of intoxication. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2263 We're thinning the overpopulated herd along Sand Hill Road. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2264 Sooner or later, these things are going to be hunted to extinction. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2265 Who made the sangria? 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2266 He was eating your mother's roses. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2267 I only had one shot, but to be honest, he was hard to myth 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2268 An entire gender reviles me. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2269 A non-existent trophy.......very Zen. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2270 Of course the grandchildren aren't allowed in this room. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2271 The hard part of bagging this one was finding a virgin to use as a lure. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2272 My first wife never let me go unicorn hunting. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2273 Not many people know this, but Unicorns are the other other white meat. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2274 I couldn't decide if I should mount the unicorn or the Dodo. Man, that bird was tasty. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2275 Shot that one is Asbury Park. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2276 It was a dream hunt. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2277 Next I'm going for the Loch Ness monster. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2278 I didn't have room for the satyr. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2279 I was just sitting there, with my AR-15 at the Merry-Go-Round. It was almost TOO easy! 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2280 I sighted him horsing around at a New Year's party. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2281 Predator, myth, prey. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2282 I bagged this one in Silicon Valley with my bare hands and a few accounting gimmicks. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2283 I actually bagged this one on a merry-go-round, but still... 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2284 Remember that famous "Godfather" scene with a dead unicorn in the bed? 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2285 Rare? Yes, but anything for my little girl. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2286 I hear they taste like chicken. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2287 I got her at a birthday party. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2288 Best fantasy camp EVER! 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2289 The NRA has my back. 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
2290 That one I bagged on the Timothy Leary hunting party. 1.2615 0.04166 130 98 30 2
2291 Its a conversation piece, about what I have no idea. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2292 This is why Ollie was asked to lead the NRA 1.2615 0.05186 130 106 14 10
2293 It tasted like chicken. 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2294 No, Miley Cyrus had a garage sale. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2295 I tell the grand kids that it is a narwhal. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2296 It was a gift from Uncle Voldemort. 1.2615 0.04307 130 99 28 3
2297 The story behind this one is unbelievable. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
2298 Narnia has the best big game hunting. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2299 Daughters first trophy. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2300 I bagged this one with a thirty-aught-six. And a virgin. 1.2615 0.05300 130 107 12 11
2301 I'm so proud I preserved them. There's not many of their breed left, ya know. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2302 It might be the only one, but I did love shooting it. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2303 And this one is unique. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2304 June 6, 1967, my first Acid trip. Woke up and the damn thing was on my wall. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2305 "The center trophy I bagged on a trip with Timothy Leary, the others on a trip to Africa. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2306 That one I shot in Lala Land 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2307 I was at a Trump resort when I bagged this baby. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2308 And when Trump reversed the Obama-era ban on hunting Unicorns, I knew what I had to do. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2309 I swear, I got the last one out there 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2310 I got that one while I was micro dosing. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2311 The taxidermist moonlights as a stylist for a high-end funeral parlour. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2312 I bagged him when the carousel stopped. 1.2615 0.04951 130 104 18 8
2313 It took us ages to track this one down 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2314 Yeah. The wife prefers that one, although I'm not sure why. 1.2615 0.04704 130 102 22 6
2315 The wife thought the room needed a feminine touch. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2316 This one is from 2016. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2317 Bagged it near the GMO Research Center. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2318 Can you believe it, the last one, and 30% off 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2319 It's illegal to hunt narwals so I'm just hiding the horn in plain view 1.2615 0.05070 130 105 16 9
2320 This one reminds me of my daughhter’s fifth birthday. She hasn’t spoken to me in 30 years. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2321 The hardest part was getting the glitter off of my safari outfit. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
2322 My daughter says fantasy far outweighs reality. 1.2615 0.04575 130 101 24 5
2323 My granddaughter hates me. 1.2612 0.05073 134 109 15 10
2324 It's so realistic. 1.2612 0.04961 134 108 17 9
2325 It's my pride and joy, but my daughter won't ever speak to me again. 1.2612 0.04729 134 106 21 7
2326 My grand-daughter wanted me to get her Twilight Sparkle. Turns out, this is not what she meant. 1.2612 0.04846 134 107 19 8
2327 Bagging this one was mythical. 1.2609 0.04400 138 107 26 5
2328 I may have crossed a line with that one... 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2329 I shot it legally in ‘62 before the prohibition on LSD. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2330 I used a mythical bullet. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2331 Took it down it with an ice cream cone at 200 yards. Two scoops. One shot. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2332 I had it delivered overnight express from the other side of the rainbow. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2333 You just aim at the end of a rainbow and pull the trigger. It's no wonder they're almost extinct. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
2334 Dave's fake game trophies always create an awkward atmosphere. Wait till you see the elephant in the other room 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
2335 Most formidable carousel I ever tracked. 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2336 Well, that sort of puts a damper on make-believe. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2337 The secret is the willing suspension of disbelief. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
2338 An impala, a unicorn and a bull walk into a barn . . . 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2339 That's quite a unique horn. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2340 Nice rhino, Jim. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2341 Of course, my daughter still won’t talk to me. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2342 And I bagged this one in Narnia! 1.2598 0.05269 127 104 13 10
2343 Don’t get me started on the glitter. 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
2344 I bagged it on trip in Silicon Valley. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2345 Remember when you guys asked me why my granddaughter and I are estranged? 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
2346 It's always been a fantasy of mine. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2347 My granddaughter isn't thrilled. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2348 Before you judge me, know that he identified as a mule deer. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2349 Ironic,my first one one was the last one 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2350 Well, if they did exist, they no longer do . 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2351 The guys at Mythbusters still don't believe me. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2352 No, I didn’t mean it metaphorically. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2353 It's actually my wife's sex toy. 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2354 So then the game warden says, "Sir, deer don't wear party hats." 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
2355 I'm quite proud of that one. I'm told it was the last of its kind. 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2356 The last electable centrist Democrat. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2357 Dang, if it isn't yet more fake gnus... 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2358 See what I mean? Taxidermy reform only benefits the wealthy. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
2359 It isn’t all rainbows and...what’s the word I’m looking for? 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2360 Almost looks real, doesn't it? 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2361 I bagged this in Central Park, near the Carousel 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2362 Well, it’s no longer her little pony. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
2363 Endangered? It’s fictitious! 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2364 I guess I'll go with the one on the right. The one in the middle reminds me a little too much of my urologist. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2365 It's a.. uh, rare goat. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
2366 Shooting them is easy — the hard part’s finding a virgin in this day and age to serve as bait. 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2367 They must have been running pretty fast to come crashing through the wall like that! 1.2598 0.04215 127 96 29 2
2368 It's a palomino I bagged with a waffle cone to the forehead. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
2369 I got it at Target 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
2370 I bagged that one on the plains of Silicon Valley. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
2371 Those goddamn Trump boys will shoot anything, I guess. 1.2595 0.05035 131 106 16 9
2372 If PETA gets wind of this, they’ll have my head. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
2373 And this one is from the Enchanted Forest trip last year. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
2374 Global warming and environmental destruction are driving even unicorns out of their habitat. 1.2595 0.04414 131 101 26 4
2375 It's the trophy I'd dreamed of ever since I was a kid. 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
2376 Just gazing at her every day reminds me to be more happy and peaceful. 1.2595 0.04672 131 103 22 6
2377 ...and I donated the meat to the Girl Scouts. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
2378 It really draws your attention away from his inadequacies... 1.2595 0.04545 131 102 24 5
2379 Honestly. It was roadkill. 1.2595 0.04672 131 103 22 6
2380 I have to confess, I didn't shoot it. It was roadkill. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
2381 I really loved the ‘60’s! 1.2595 0.04672 131 103 22 6
2382 Yes, indeed! Now imagine what it would be like if all those gun-control nuts had their way! 1.2595 0.04917 131 105 18 8
2383 Middle one's from my daughter's FAO Schwarz plush collection. It adds color to a dark hobby. 1.2595 0.04672 131 103 22 6
2384 It's a long story, but infortunately, it didn't have a happy ending. 1.2595 0.04796 131 104 20 7
2385 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.2595 0.04139 131 99 30 2
2386 My daughter is carrying on the family tradition. 1.2595 0.04672 131 103 22 6
2387 The one in the middle was the toughest to track insofar as it doesn't exist. 1.2593 0.04331 135 104 27 4
2388 They tell me they are quite rare! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
2389 Why don't they call it a unihorn? 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
2390 Our thoughts and prayers are with her family. 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
2391 Booking that hunt was a surreal experience. 1.2578 0.04606 128 100 23 5
2392 I won't be a virgin much longer with this bad boy on the wall. 1.2578 0.04991 128 103 17 8
2393 Who knew it was endangered. Still, it looks damn good on the wall, doesn't it. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
2394 I bagged that one just outside of Disneyland... 1.2578 0.05113 128 104 15 9
2395 It's always more satisfying when it's the last of its kind. 1.2578 0.04866 128 102 19 7
2396 Yeah? Well, maybe YOU'RE the one who's mythical. 1.2578 0.04606 128 100 23 5
2397 Apparently there was a place called Silicon Valley that bred and nursed the damned things. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
2398 It's my only ante-diluvian trophy! 1.2578 0.04187 128 97 29 2
2399 Of course I was much younger then. 1.2578 0.04606 128 100 23 5
2400 And finally my greatest prize: Innocence herself. 1.2578 0.04471 128 99 25 4
2401 Where's Teddy Now?" "He's in Ireland hunting leprechauns. 1.2578 0.04738 128 101 21 6
2402 Let’s keep this one under wraps boys. You know what happens to us trophy hunting dentists. 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
2403 It’s all about diversity. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2404 ... and I got this one at Disney World. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2405 My daughter caught that one. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
2406 Anything is possible on an alternate species safari. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2407 "Apparently it''s kind of rare". 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2408 That one's from my safari with Trump -- true story! 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2409 You have no idea how many shrooms it took to bag this one 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2410 My daughter never forgavae me for that one. 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
2411 Yes, I got it off Amazon Prime. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2412 Pfft … Big deal. That rug you're standing on? That's Sasquatch. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2413 I can never eat at Medieval Times again, but totally worth it. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2414 I bagged that one on a weekend retreat at Big Sur 1.2560 0.05316 125 103 12 10
2415 They're captured only by virgins. My fourty year old son that lives in the basement caught it. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2416 The Minotaur got away 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2417 Where'd you get the permit for that? 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2418 It's a bit gaudy, honestly. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
2419 And to think, for years people didn't believe this clock existed. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2420 It's not real 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
2421 Don Jr really out did himself on this one! 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2422 I just glued it on. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2423 I bagged this one at Startup Fantasy Camp 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2424 I got this one in my dreams. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2425 I was actually aiming for that raccoon that keeps getting in our trash. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2426 My five-year-old likes to hunt. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2427 Truth is, it was a lucky shot! 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2428 That may have had something to do with my daughter's estrangement. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2429 I was on safari in Xanadu with the Pope's wife when I bagged that unicorn. 1.2560 0.05436 125 104 10 11
2430 Contrary to legend, the unicorn could blow rainbows out its ass. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2431 ...and we got a pint of boysenbery syrup from the liver and three-dozen licorice whips from the tail. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2432 My bad. I thought I was shooting at a white rhino. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2433 It was a unicorn shot: you know it could happen, but you never expected it to happen. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2434 You should see their Bitcoin collection. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2435 Man, did my daughter ever let me have it when I bagged that one. I had to tell her that it came from a merry-go-round. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2436 “And, here, a trophy from my tripping safari 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2437 These mounted animal heads suggest that our drinks are spiked. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2438 I don't know what it is, either, but I feel lucky to have killed it. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2439 I'm told Eric and Don Jr. had a tremendous tremendous time in Narnia. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2440 I bagged that one on a safari in Disneyland. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
2441 Of course it's real. My daughter is a virgin. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2442 Turns out wasn’t so lucky after all 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2443 The President's son dropped these off. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2444 Got him off the endangered species list. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2445 Bagged that one at Coney Island, riding the carousel. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2446 The taxidermist gave us half off. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2447 Bagged this one in Socialist Utopia. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2448 Those two are entirely beside the point 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2449 Boy did I get grief from my daughter on that one 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2450 That one I bagged on a trip with my old school chum Timothy Leary. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2451 I knew you guys wouldn’t believe me 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2452 Bambi’s next. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2453 My Little Pony wony put up a fightsy wightsy. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2454 Gentlemen these are the finalists. I’m going with the angry unicorn to win bigly. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2455 It wasn't on the "Endangered Species List" so I decide to bag it. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2456 The most dangerous game is a child's imagination. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2457 I bagged that one in my neice's playroom. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2458 I wanted to show, both of you, that we believe our diversity is our strength. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2459 They're indigenous to Shangri-La. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2460 Remember when a billion dollars meant something? 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2461 My wife was riding her on the merry -go-round. Unfortunately, I aimed low. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2462 I shot him while he was looking at his reflection in the water. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2463 Shot that one off a moving carousel at Disneyland last summer. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2464 I don't think that's what your daughter meant. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2465 I bagged that one in the wilds of my granddaughter's closet. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2466 This is what happens when a stylist marries a taxidermist. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2467 A very long, long time ago.... 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2468 I shot a leprechaun too. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2469 I swear she was charging me. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2470 We're going for My Little Pony in the fall. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2471 I had to fight off a centaur to bag that one. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2472 If I had it to do over again, my friends, I’d stick to the occasional acid trip. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2473 The day I bagged ol Buttercup here, I stopped being just a dentist...... I was a real man. “You need help Walter 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
2474 I was hunting big game in Silicon valley. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2475 I took him down with a pink Super Soaker. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2476 It was me or him. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2477 I bagged that one on the carousel in Central Park. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2478 My granddaughter still hasn't forgiven me. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2479 Well, the kids were pretty upset, but man, what a magical experience. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2480 And that, gentlemen, is what happens to start-ups that fail on me. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2481 I got a great deal on this one. Half price since it’s only got one horn. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2482 That's my daughter's first kill. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2483 Do I feel guilty? Nope. In fact, I think I'm crushing it. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2484 This one is from my Disney expedition. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2485 My granddaughter hasn’t been back since she saw it. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2486 It took a lot of time and money to acquire that one, but every time a child sees it and cries their eyes out, I realize it was worth it. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2487 ...and I took this majestic beast down at my daughters 5th birthday party. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2488 This one was like taking candy from a baby. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2489 My first kill. I was riding the carousel, and I figured I'd never get another one. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2490 I bagged that one at my daughters birthday party 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2491 Believe it or not, it was easier than finding the next Uber. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2492 This one is called Kellyanne. 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
2493 Of course my granddaughter hates me, but you would not believe the rush! 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2494 It's Trump's. He wanted to be the first at something. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2495 That one I captured at the Cloisters. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2496 It was a fantasy come true! 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2497 He brought them back from his “dream vacation”. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2498 Remember my telling you about the one that didn't get away? 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2499 Not as rare as you'd think. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2500 The shot was easy. Finding him was the trick. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2501 My next time I'm going for a black swan. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2502 White House tour guide; "...and here in the 'Trump Sons Trophy Room' we have the wild Bluebuck, the Rainbow Unicorn and the Aurochs; all extinction now." 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2503 I had to fly to Disney World to get it. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
2504 I heard these come from a place called "The Deep State". 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2505 Beautiful specimen, but it strikes me that those eyelashes might not be real. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2506 I bagged the antelope in Africa, the water buffalo in India, and the unicorn in the Alpha Centauri System. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2507 Well, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, if that's what you're asking... 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
2508 ... two Rice Krispies box tops and 10 bucks. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2509 I caught it floating in my neighbor's pool. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2510 I'm finally beyond the "just an asshole" category. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2511 I prefer my meat rare. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
2512 This one was running in circles at the Mall. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2513 My daughter is a little upset over this one. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2514 My daughter bagged this one at an Orlando theme park when she was twelve. We’re not allowed back. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
2515 PETA protests were bad enough, but PETU are beyond belief. 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
2516 Well, this species doesn't actually exist. Not anymore that is. 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
2517 Sadly, that turned out to be my son-in-law at his daughter's birthday party. 1.2540 0.05156 126 103 14 9
2518 Yep, it was a dream hunt. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2519 I bagged that one on my last trip to Narnia. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2520 She lived an alternative lifestyle. 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
2521 Hmm, suddenly Don Jr. doesn't look so bad... 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
2522 That’s when I found her cheating with these two; and now … all three are mounted. 1.2540 0.05156 126 103 14 9
2523 My granddaughter bagged it at Six Flags. 1.2540 0.05278 126 104 12 10
2524 There's almost a fairy tale quality to how I bagged this one 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2525 I understand that Paul, but I still don’t get how you managed to find such a magnificent antique clock on your salary. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2526 That's nothin', back in my day, I once bagged the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and a smurf. 1.2540 0.05032 126 102 16 8
2527 It wasn’t an easy shot as it was sliding down that rainbow. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2528 I nailed her as she stepped out from behind a rainbow. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
2529 I guess they're off the endangered list. 1.2540 0.04355 126 97 26 3
2530 The virgin got away. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
2531 My wife found it at a flea market and thought of me. She calls me her "Man of Extinction". 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2532 I got the last one! 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
2533 I grew tired of chasing unicorns. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2534 Even the bull is skeptical. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2535 I guess I got lucky 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2536 I bagged that one with my imaginary gun. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2537 I got that one at a GOP rally in Arizona. 1.2540 0.05156 126 103 14 9
2538 I had to tell little Sarah that Buttercup ran away to a different farm. Thankfully, my taxidermist will do anything for twenty extra bucks. 1.2540 0.04499 126 98 24 4
2539 Wait till you see what I found when I was hunting for Easter eggs. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2540 Hey, look there! He's shaking hands with the president in that photo. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
2541 I learned after this never to mix LSD and a gun. 1.2540 0.04904 126 101 18 7
2542 Two guys named Donald Jr. and Eric sold it to me. 1.2540 0.04772 126 100 20 6
2543 I always wondered what became of Twilight Sparkle. 1.2540 0.04355 126 97 26 3
2544 Yeah, I think it's starting to kick in. 1.2540 0.05032 126 102 16 8
2545 Now let's move on to the rec room and Paddington Bear. 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
2546 Believe it or not, I found that one in my garden one morning, eating the roses. 1.2538 0.04411 130 101 25 4
2547 It took a lot of hunting, but we found ours on Tinder. 1.2538 0.04544 130 102 23 5
2548 My daughter is a great shot! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2549 It's not what it looks like, I killed her with a stalactite. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2550 And the middle one I took down during a psychotic break last fall. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2551 Looking for the moral compass at our nation’s capital, ended up with this ... 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
2552 I shot it at dawn in Silicon Valley. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2553 I bagged that one during my Timothy Leary period. 1.2520 0.04410 123 95 25 3
2554 Almost gored me while I was laying a trap of bacon and donuts. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
2555 Sure got my money’s worth on that Fantasy Safari. 1.2520 0.05239 123 101 13 9
2556 It tasted a lot worse than it looks. 1.2520 0.05110 123 100 15 8
2557 Surprisingly, it tastes a little gamey....like CandyLand. 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
2558 Well it's all downhill from here. I think I might try my hand at golf. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2559 I followed the trail of glitter until I came upon its fairy tail. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2560 I bagged this one at Burning Man. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2561 Don't be absurd, that's just where I like to store my waffle-cones. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2562 So, they said, your $40,000 hunting fee will go toward preserving the species. After I shot it I found out this was the last of the species. Of course, the value has ballooned considerably. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2563 The President must be so proud of Donald, Jr...... 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2564 Apparently the horn can cure cancer, but I prefer here over my fireplace. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
2565 I think my wife is mocking me. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2566 ... and people said my glitter gun certification was a waste. 1.2520 0.05110 123 100 15 8
2567 What an asshole. 1.2520 0.05365 123 102 11 10
2568 Forget the hunting rifle. To bring 'em down, you need radioactive nano-pixie dust. Not contaminated with glitter, of course. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
2569 You’re imagining things I only see two heads. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2570 My daughter wondered if they were real; now she knows. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
2571 Got him my second acid trip! 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
2572 Impressive, but it’s not My Little Pony. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2573 I think I bagged that one at Woodstock. 1.2520 0.05365 123 102 11 10
2574 I found it after it missed its third round of funding. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
2575 I shot that one in Thurber's back yard. 1.2520 0.04978 123 99 17 7
2576 The hard part was finding a gun store that sold tiny magical bows and arrows. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
2577 I bagged that at Woodstock in '69. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
2578 Oh, I bagged that one on my LSD safari in the 60's. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2579 Of course bagging a unicorn on Wall Street was even more satisfying. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2580 My daughter isn’t speeking to me. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2581 Well, who told him to offer me a wish? 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2582 Just kidding! It's an ice cream cone. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
2583 It was a dream kill. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2584 Africa,no Amazon.com. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2585 The rest of it went into that frappuccino. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2586 My Little Pony. Four hour trek through suburban jungle. Toys R Us Jersey City. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2587 I'm still hoping to add 'My Little Pony' to this collection. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2588 It came to me in a dream. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2589 No, I keep the original in the vault. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2590 Took this one on an acid trip. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2591 This one was quite elusive, until the carousel stopped... 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
2592 We call it "My little horny." 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2593 It's just magical, isn't it? 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
2594 That's what I do. Fake it until I make it. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2595 This one has a story you won't believe. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2596 I used to have a centaur up here too, but nobody believed it. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2597 No, it's sort of like a Rorschach test. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2598 I can't tell you where I bagged that one. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2599 It was either him or me. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2600 It's only once you're in the .0001% that you can hunt mythical species too. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2601 The hardest part was finding a virgin. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2602 Simple. I thought, 'What would Trump do?' 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2603 A dense rainbow made it an especially difficult shot... 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
2604 I bagged that one while on a very remote and dangerous Nigerian carousel! 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
2605 No, the one in the middle is a clock. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2606 ...and the strip steaks were particularly magical. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2607 Well, the Sasquatch wouldn't have fit the aesthetic. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2608 I got on a trip in the sixties using LSD 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2609 Technically, I WAS still a virgin. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2610 At the time, I didn't know they were endangered. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2611 Really surprising .... like chicken-flavored cotton candy 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2612 Now most people say it doesn't count as 'real' hunting, but let me tell you, when I was on that carousel and this guy was lunging right at me... 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2613 It's eyes are opening....we should probably run... 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2614 ..and this one we shot on safari at the local merry-go-round. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2615 My daughter was only six when she bagged her first trophy. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2616 There was glitter everywhere! 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2617 It wouldn’t stay out of the roses. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2618 God Bless the NRA. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
2619 I added the eyelashes myself 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2620 Bagged it on his mythical hunting trip. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2621 I donated the rest of the body to the crazy glue factory. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2622 My daughter hasn’t tried to argue with me since. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2623 Oh, that's just my horse. He backed into a spear, so I had to put him down. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2624 It Was Just A Shot In The Dark ! 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2625 This poor bloke was actually a sports mascot. 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
2626 Luckily, I was still a virgin. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2627 Her mother was a horse, her dad, a Narwhal. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2628 I bagged it the same year the Cubs became World Series champions, something else I didn't believe could exist. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2629 The other two I shot in America recently but this one was from a happier time. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2630 I want to instill the love of the sport to the grandkids while they're still young. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2631 Snagged that one at the merry-go-round. They still talk about it. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2632 Yep, killed it with kindness. 1.2500 0.05320 116 95 13 8
2633 This particular one didn't play well on Facebook at the time. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2634 I tracked this one for miles after it left my granddaughter’s birthday party. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2635 Doesn't look like it's worth a billion, does it? 1.2500 0.04835 128 103 18 7
2636 It makes you respect the majesty of nature, doesn’t it? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2637 Well, have you ever been to Nebraska? 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
2638 My daughter shot this one. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2639 My daughter has never forgiven me. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
2640 A little double-sided tape and hot glue... boom... a zebra. 1.2500 0.05326 120 99 12 9
2641 My daughter, Becky, shot this one. She's a lobbyist for the NRA now days. 1.2500 0.04142 120 91 28 1
2642 Yes, it is a unique horn. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2643 I thought it was a glitter gun. 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
2644 They were never going to raise enough to save the carousel. I got there first and saved these fine trophies! 1.2480 0.04906 125 101 17 7
2645 I was trying to shoot a My Little Pony but he’ll have to do. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
2646 Maybe I misunderstood when it said "take me home". 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
2647 It's actually a horse our neighbor dressed up for young Malcom's birthday party, but it adds a bit of mystery to the trophy wall, don't you think? 1.2480 0.04773 125 100 19 6
2648 With only one left, the extinction is not technically on me. 1.2480 0.04636 125 99 21 5
2649 The hunt for this one was magical. 1.2480 0.04495 125 98 23 4
2650 I thought trophy hunting was illegal at Coachella 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2651 Who's up for a game of ring toss? 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
2652 Not as magical in this position. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
2653 So I said, "honey, if you don't bring your grades up, there will be consequences." 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2654 Guess what we're having for dinner? 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2655 What a unique horn! 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
2656 To kill something so rare was magical. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2657 This is a classic example of one-point perspective. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2658 I got that one on a trip to Fantasyland. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
2659 I bagged this one as he was trying to blend in at a carousel 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
2660 We use the leprechaun as a paperweight. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2661 Ernest Hemingway never hunted a unicorn in his life. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2662 Why do you ask? 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2663 I made on my 3D printer. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2664 I caught him with Fruit Loops. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2665 The second head is at the EPA offices! 1.2479 0.05153 121 99 14 8
2666 Who knew the taste would be so gamey 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2667 I used to cherish our father-daughter hunting trips. 1.2479 0.04277 121 93 26 2
2668 I bagged this one in the 60's when I was living in the Village. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2669 My taxidermist charged double to keep this one quiet. Absolutely worth it. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2670 It’s not endangered, I keep it perfectly safe here. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
2671 Extremely rare and maddeningly elusive, but tastes like horsemeat. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2672 I value the middle one the most - speaking metaphorically. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2673 Where’s the button that makes it sing? 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
2674 Shot that in Washington--anything can happen there these days. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2675 I still don't believe his story. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2676 Nothing's fake anymore. My daughter thinks he's real. 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2677 This one makes up for me missing Bambi. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2678 I think you are taking diversity too far, old pal. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2679 This one offered me a wish before I shot it. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2680 Actually, the biggest challenge was convincing it I was a virgin. 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
2681 Yes, I did shoot this right before the 2016 presidential election. Why do you ask? 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2682 Well, I guess it's not technically horse meat. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2683 No really, it’s a fake. 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
2684 Yep, she was one of a kind. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
2685 Well, this one took a little imagination... 1.2479 0.04435 121 94 24 3
2686 College days. Hunting trip with my future father-in-law. First and last time I dropped acid. 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
2687 Isn't it gorgeous? Only 27.99 on Amazon with Prime. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
2688 Ah yes, she had the best merry-go-round 1.2460 0.04739 126 101 19 6
2689 He encountered a virgin 1.2460 0.05000 126 103 15 8
2690 The legends say you need to be a virgin to find one, so I used my son as bait. 1.2460 0.04463 126 99 23 4
2691 He does have a point. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
2692 It's nice Greg, but this isn't the kind of unicorn hunting I had in mind. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
2693 I got the last one! 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2694 Those were the days when difference was more acceptable. 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
2695 They're lucky creatures, aren't they? Unicorns.... 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
2696 Took him down at Disney World with my bare hands and a chain saw. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2697 Got that one at my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2698 The trick is to bag one before they become endangered. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
2699 It was his last wish. Pretty progressive for a black stallion if you ask me. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2700 so then it says "what's the point?" 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2701 At least I didn't take a picture of myself laying on it naked. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2702 Yeah... Turns out that the horn is fake. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2703 Now this trip was a dream 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2704 Don't worry, this is only the second to last. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2705 I bagged this beauty in LA at Disney studios. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2706 Damned EPA. Endangered my ass. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2707 And they want to take away our guns! 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2708 And that one took first place in my fantasy hunting league. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2709 Of course, the ones on either side were fun to shoot, too. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2710 That one I got 2 weeks ago at the Playland merry-go-round. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2711 Well of course unicorns exist...um..well, at least they used to. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2712 It's incredible. He doesn't only want to wipe out every endangered species, he wants to kill off all fictional animals too. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2713 Yep, the Trump Administration Quietly Decided To Allow Unicorn Trophies...so lucky me! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2714 Tanzania in ‘82; South Africa in ‘90; the mythical kingdom of Hagsgate just last year. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2715 Not cheap, I tell you. It cost me the pot of gold I found at the end of the rainbow! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2716 I’m so proud. My 7 year old granddaughter bagged this one! 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2717 Yes, that hunt was magical. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2718 This have really changed under Scott Pruitt 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
2719 Now tell me, how is this not the best Sweet Sixteen present money can buy? 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2720 It was a hunt I didn't want to myth out on. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2721 Trickiest part was finding a maiden who could lure the quarry into range. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2722 Say John, how's that new Volvo treating you? 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2723 It expresses the hope that new species will be discovered, which I might then hunt. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2724 I got that one at the carousel in Coney Island, but the dragon flew off before I could reload. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2725 It's true, they are endangered, but I didn't know that at the time. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2726 Did you buy that at the casino gift shop when you told your wife you were hunting? 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2727 This one will drive the animal rights folks wild. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2728 My daughter hates me forever. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2729 I hear the traveling carnival still talks about the Merry-go-round Massacre of ‘85 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2730 But now my all the little grandkids refuse to speak to me. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2731 The hard part was finding the virgin. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2732 It took 10 years of genetic manipulation but we finally succeeded. And then I shot it. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2733 Got that one on Halloween. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2734 It was her way of saying, 'the magic is over.' 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
2735 And I've got a rainbow in the other room. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2736 Oh the unicorn? Nearly impaled me with that stupid horn. Had to go all rainbow on his ass! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2737 And I was so sure my granddaughter would love it. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2738 It was a great shot. Between the concession stand and the photo platform. Tracking wasn't that easy either. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2739 She was just hanging with the wrong crowd. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2740 Next season, I'm bagging a pegasus. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2741 My granddaughter went with me on my last safari. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2742 I particularly like its Mona Lisa smile. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2743 His rear end in the other room is even better. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2744 Got her when I was just a kid. Ain't seen one since. 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
2745 I like to play 2 truths and a lie with my guests. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2746 How 'bout we keep Todd-opinions at Todd's house? How's that sound, Mister-on-his-fourth-wife? 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2747 Knowing she was the last one made the hunt truly magical! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2748 Now everyone knows I'm a virgin. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
2749 That was my first one - I was still a virgin. 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
2750 As you can see, our imagination, too, has been hunted to extinction. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2751 And I bagged this fellow back in '69 when I was doing lots of acid. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2752 Yeah, that was a real fantasy shoot. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2753 Gentlemen, it's called sustainable hunting. Best way to preserve the species. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2754 I rather like the rainbow and sprinkles mount option. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2755 I’ve got Big Foot’s head in the next room. He’s real too. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2756 It reminds me of my youth. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2757 It was rather easy, just followed the trail of lucky charms and maple syrup scent. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2758 And I bagged this one at my daughter's fifth birthday party. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2759 And that one's from the 60s. My first trip! 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2760 What a prick! 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2761 I don’t care if they did donate the meat to local villagers; it gives me the creeps. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
2762 I had too: it was undocumented. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2763 It's ok, online they say there are plenty of other ones. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2764 If it were magic, how could I have shot it? 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2765 I never should have introduced you to My Little Pony. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2766 My granddaughter bagged her at a birthday party 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2767 I'll tell you Jim; the rainbows PETA made me jump through... 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2768 It actually improves their conservation. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2769 I bought it for my daughter, but then it impaled the dog. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2770 They’re actually pretty common at the end of double-rainbows 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2771 Of the three branches of government, the elusive Judiciary proved the most difficult to harvest. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2772 This one was just before they became endangered. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2773 Never bring your 6-year-old niece to Brimfield. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2774 My youngest cried for a month when I shot it in her bedroom. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2775 Yes, my travel and hunting trips are off the beaten path. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2776 That middle one was here when we bought the house! 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2777 Yes, it was the last one. Quite the coup. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2778 And that, gentlemen, is how I knew that my bride-to-be was, in fact, a virgin. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2779 This one's had a Rhinoplasty. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2780 I'm at the age now where I can only hunt on merry-go-rounds. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2781 Get with it, Earl...things don't have to be real to be useful. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2782 I bagged that one at my daughter's 13th birthday party. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2783 If you think that’s amazing, you should have seen it when it was alive. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2784 Yup. Stole a march from Don, Jr. on this one. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2785 They call it genetic engineering. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2786 My granddaughter caught that one. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2787 It was a one in a billion shot. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2788 I bagged that one years ago at FAO Schwarz. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2789 I got that one while on safari in the magic kingdom. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2790 It was a long shot, I know. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2791 Unfortunately, this was the last one and now they're extinct. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2792 I still can't believe it. 1.2458 0.05374 118 98 11 9
2793 I bagged that one in Silicon Valley. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2794 My daughter bagged that one. Eleven years old and a crack shot. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2795 Yes, she left a trail of glitter behind her before I could finish her off." 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2796 From last weeks contest- just thought of it and wanted someone to appreciate it even though I missed the deadline. "Welcome to Hell. Please watch this short orientation video before we begin.” 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2797 The hardest part was finding a virgin in Long Island. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2798 Technically it’s not an endangered species 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2799 And I managed to nab that horned beauty at last year's Pride Parade. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2800 It was a lot like shooting a horse. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2801 You didn't tell us you had a trophy wife. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2802 You know, it's just a myth that these things poop rainbows. They don't. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2803 Yes. That was the day I ate the florescent mushroom. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2804 Yeah, I bagged this one over on Fantasy Island. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2805 Actually, my daughter bagged that one. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2806 They were out of rhinoceroses. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2807 It funds conservation 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2808 Oh, and this one I bagged just outside the princess's castle at Disneyworld! 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2809 Once there were more of them in Silicon Valley than anywhere else. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2810 ... and this one was while on acid in the gumdrop forest. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2811 So thats where the rainbow steaks came from. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2812 I shouldn't have 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2813 Unicorns are real, my life is a myth. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2814 Actually quite challenging - the merry-go-round was in motion and the unicorn was difficult to dislodge. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2815 ... and this one is my grandchildren's attempt to shame me, but I kinda like it. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2816 The middle one is my ex-wife. 1.2458 0.05238 118 97 13 8
2817 I remember my Dad telling me to chase my dreams. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2818 Truth be told, the snuffleupagus was a more elusive hunt. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
2819 I shot the one in the middle with an imaginary rifle. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2820 Not much of a rack, I admit, but improbable as hell... 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2821 I got this one in Never-never Land. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2822 Plus, now I know that my daughter is a virgin. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2823 I thought he was a gnu! 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2824 It's technically called a moderate and barely seen around these parts anymore. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
2825 No, Artemis bagged that one. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2826 I had to settle for the Unicorn. They won't issue a permit for Centaurs. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
2827 When it comes back to life and walks away, it'll probably do a good bit of damage to the wall. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
2828 Taxidermist did a helluva job on that narwhal. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
2829 When I shot it, it rainbowed itself. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2830 My daughter’s sixth birthday party. Sunset. 1.2441 0.04571 127 101 21 5
2831 I shot this one in my daughter’s room. 1.2441 0.04837 127 103 17 7
2832 My daughter wanted it alive, lol. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
2833 I don't brag about it. You just know the endangered species nuts would be on my case. 1.2437 0.04297 119 92 25 2
2834 Once I get sasquatch, my collection will be complete. 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2835 I bagged it with a photon torpedo from a gun Kirk loaned me. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
2836 Oh...that was only the second to last one 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2837 Yes it is unfortunate but from behind it looked just like the even more rare albino zebra. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2838 We bagged this one on Fire Island one Halloween. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
2839 I have always been a feminist. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
2840 "The New Yorker sucks in its way of selecting winners!!!! Why do people think it will ever change?" Fuck you New Yorker!!!! 1.2437 0.05465 119 100 9 10
2841 I was standing there in wonder, but then it tried to tell me it was just a figment of my imagination. 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2842 It was finding a virgin that was the hard part. 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
2843 Amazingly when they shipped it back we learned it was a transgender...what a bonus! 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2844 Finding a virgin was the hardest part. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2845 It's funny, I was actually aiming for the Pegasus. 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2846 To be honest, it got in the way of the elephant I was aiming at. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2847 I was going to let it go, but then I remembered how I hated that song... 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
2848 Took a cartridge with a double wad of fairy dust to bring that one down. 1.2437 0.04460 119 93 23 3
2849 I put fifteen child therapists’ kids through college for that one. 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
2850 We made the lodge inclusive. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2851 It was a fairytale ending 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2852 I figured I’d mount him before my ex-wife did. 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
2853 Well I'd say that decorator nailed our spirit animals! 1.2437 0.04916 119 96 17 6
2854 He will always be remembered as a horny guy. 1.2437 0.05197 119 98 13 8
2855 Her father was Seattle Slew; her mother was a narwhale. 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2856 It’s not as big as the guide said it would be, but it was the last one. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2857 That was my first. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2858 Fuck Unicorns. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2859 Bagged that one in my dreams. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2860 I snagged that one at the merry-go-round. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2861 My daughter hasn't slept in a week. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2862 I took this one down with a glitter bomb. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2863 Once I finished dressing the carcass, my daughter’s birthday party resumed like nothing had happened. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2864 Let’s just say I went for the brass ring on this one. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2865 Poach big or go home. 1.2435 0.05326 115 95 12 8
2866 You guys think that’s amazing, in the next room I have a fully mounted Big Foot. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2867 I bagged that one at Six Flags. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2868 My granddaughter just announced she’s vegan. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2869 I shot a leprechaun, too, but the taxidermist wouldn't stuff it. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2870 Now all I need is Bigfoot and my collection's complete. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2871 These Snapchat filters have really gotten out of control. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2872 This spot was intended for the leprechaun, but the 12 gauge blew its head off. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2873 And I thought the Stuffef Griffin in the Foyer was impressive. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2874 Well, it’s always a conversation starter. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2875 When it charged My Little Pony I dropped it in its tracks. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2876 I have spent millions on my kids' therapy and they still haven't forgiven me. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2877 I caught it with pinking shears and a bottle of cognac. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2878 Well, if this bothers you- then you're really not going to like the centaur heads in the next room.. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2879 I call her La Gioconda. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2880 She’s unreal, huh? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2881 The hunting bylaws said nothing about mythical creatures... 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2882 Getting rid of the weakest link helps makes the rest of the herd stronger. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2883 It's not traditional, but my daughter kept asking me for one. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2884 Actually, trophy hunting fees fund conservation. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2885 He was guarded by a bunch of overweight painted ponies, but they provided little resistance. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2886 The virgin was harder to find. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2887 That particular trophy was shot while on safari in Shangri-la. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2888 The one in the middle I shot for my granddaughter, because she told me she loves unicorns. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2889 It's sad, really. Sparkle went off the deep end when they canceled 'My Little Pony,' and we had to put her down. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2890 Still not sure why they're not called unihorns. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2891 Right. Magic. Pelosi and the Democrats are going to need some of that in November. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2892 The Unicorn filets were a hit at the EPA banquet. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2893 A rhino tried to pretend he was a unicorn but I saw through the disguise. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2894 I bagged it with my imaginary gun 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2895 It's so much better than a green alligator, a long-necked goose, a humpy-backed camel, a chimpanzee, or cats, and rats, and elephants. 1.2435 0.05326 115 95 12 8
2896 Apparently I'm the only one that sees a Unicorn? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2897 It's so rare these days that one gets to shoot something truly unique. Damn shame, really. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2898 Toys 'R' Us bankruptcy shindig for preferred shareholders; nailed her in the parking lot. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2899 My daughter actually bagged that one. 1.2435 0.05326 115 95 12 8
2900 Yes, and there was only ever one. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2901 Want to see the Rainbow Room? It's just on the other side of the wall. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2902 It was really hard getting that head through customs. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
2903 I have to move it. My wife says enough with the asymmetry. 1.2417 0.05158 120 99 13 8
2904 Killing animals makes my tiny pecker feel about as big as that horn. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
2905 Really, it's no different than shooting a horse. 1.2417 0.04099 120 92 27 1
2906 ...and that's when my wife left me. Anyway, here's the unicorn I killed. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
2907 The hunt wasn't quite as whimsical as I had hoped. 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
2908 It’s safe to say the psilocybin has kicked in. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
2909 I thought there was a law against hunting imaginary species. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2910 Damned EPA. Endangered my ass. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2911 I used the NAR specified .50 caliber max, double powder load, steel jacketed bullet, the NRA guide book, and the NRA mounting directions. It really knows its business. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2912 But you should've seen the virgin that got away. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2913 The rest of it is in the kitchen 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2914 They said it couldn't be done. But I just glued that sucker right on there. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2915 It was back in the 60s on acid. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
2916 I was aiming at a Chimera. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2917 The taxidermist was nice to charge only half because he is missing an antler. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2918 The guide assured me this one was genuine. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2919 Fortunately, the laws against poaching unicorns are mere fantasy. 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
2920 Actually it’s a horse I shot accidently and the work of a creative taxidermist. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2921 And this came from the great Silicon Valley. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2922 I figured I needed to add a little sparkle to my collection. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
2923 In the Middle Ages these could only be captured by virgins... 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2924 My granddaughter no longer speaks to me, but I'd do it all over again. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
2925 At the time, it wasn't endangered. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
2926 I probably should have taken the shares. 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
2927 It just fit the room much more than the centaur. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
2928 Yep. Bagged that on on the Central Park Carousel. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2929 They're not on the NRA's list of protected species, so I shot him. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2930 Shot that one at the abandoned state fairgrounds. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2931 Yessiree I wouldn't have believed it, either, if I hadn't killed it with my own two hands. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2932 We decided the room needed some color 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2933 I got the one in the middle with my imaginary gun. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2934 I got it from Don Jr.'s divorce sale. He said that hunting it was his alibi. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2935 By the time I realized it was Mardi Gras, it was too late. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2936 I bagged him while on safari in Shangri-La. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2937 It was a Rennaisance Fair safari. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2938 My wife's idea. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2939 This calls everything into question about Stan. 1.2393 0.05242 117 97 12 8
2940 The happiest days of my life began when she found the engagement ring on the tip of its horn there. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2941 I heard he was embarrassed he shot a horse, so he affixed a horn to it. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2942 And. that's why I legalized hunting of all animals, because I knew my son Donald Jr. could bag a Unicorn 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2943 My new taxidermist is a Harry Potter fan. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2944 I shot this one at a waterhole where it stopped to admire its reflection. 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
2945 It does make a point. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2946 I'm super proud of getting the last unicorn before their extinction. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2947 Even the Leprechaun that did the taxidermy is doing 20 years in prison 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2948 I still remember that hunt. It was less "Heart of Darkness," more Meadow of Sparkly Rainbows. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2949 Of course not. It's where Laura hangs her end of our costume. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2950 I bagged the middle one in West Hollywood. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2951 Bagged that beauty last year in Trumplandia 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2952 He stopped running when he went through our wall. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2953 It's my way of showing support each year during Pride Week. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2954 and this is the allusive one-point buck. more absynth? 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2955 That was my finest moment as a great white hunter. 1.2389 0.05374 113 94 11 8
2956 Luckily, I bagged the Uni just before the law for imaginary species went into effect. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2957 It's a great conversation starter but my granddaughter hasn't spoken to me ever since I got it. 1.2389 0.05374 113 94 11 8
2958 PETA now protects mythical creatures because of this trophy 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2959 I got this one for my daughter. Turns out it was just a passing interest. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2960 The housecleaner refuses to clean the room on the other side of this wall 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2961 Make-believe me, he had it coming. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2962 I was hunting with Jim Thurber the day he mythed the beast. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2963 My quest started after Thurber piqued my interest. 1.2389 0.05374 113 94 11 8
2964 And here I thought my daughter would be thrilled... 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
2965 That one was easy to bag, it kept running in circles. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2966 Ok, it beats My Little Pony! 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
2967 Heard from PETA and PFLAG about this one. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2968 Sadly, she's the last of her kind. On the other hand, we're having flank steaks tonight. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2969 Bagging him was a dream come true. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2970 There were some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born-- the loveliest of all was the unicorn. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2971 Then they banned me from the park and the merry-go-round. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2972 I bagged it off the merry-go-round at the mall. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
2973 You should see my four leaf clover collection 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2974 Nailed that little beauty with a virtual reality scope. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2975 If only I had that much hair. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2976 Unicorn? Damn! I thought it just lost one of its horns in a fight! 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
2977 God knows how that horse got impaled by a narwhal. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2978 I was out hunting on my unicycle and well it kinda just made sense. 1.2389 0.05374 113 94 11 8
2979 Well, how was I to know it was in costume for my granddaughter’s “Princess and the Unicorn” birthday party? 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2980 It had a rainbow coming out of its ass but we had trouble figuring out how to wall mount that part. 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
2981 I do all my big-game hunting at the merry-go-round. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2982 Adding the horn certainly led to some interesting conversations. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2983 Well, that's one way to live happily ever after... 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2984 My granddaughter hasn't spoken to me in three decades. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2985 She offered three wishes if I set her free... but I didn't want to get greedy. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2986 I'd like to see how Darwin explains this. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2987 Of course, as you may know, ‘Uni’, means ‘One’ 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2988 You said “endangered” I heard “in danger.” Potato/potahto. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2989 Unicorn season should be longer. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2990 I don't care if it is a narwhal horn. She's still one of a kind. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2991 Yes. I was a virgin, then. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2992 It's ok. She self-identified as a horse. 1.2377 0.04363 122 96 23 3
2993 I agree. I think you'll have to bump it if you want a bigger clock there. 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2994 That was my reward after a successful hunt at Mar-a-Lago. 1.2373 0.04766 118 95 18 5
2995 Can’t remember where I got but I know I was stoned out of my gourd. 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
2996 I told the taxidermist not to give me any bull. 1.2373 0.04286 118 92 24 2
2997 I paid for that one in Bitcoin. 1.2373 0.05339 118 99 10 9
2998 I never imagined it would be so hard to remove rainbow stains from camouflage. 1.2373 0.03933 118 90 28 0
2999 My dream trophy. 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
3000 Hell, I'd shoot a rainbow if I could stuff it and hang it on the wall! 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
3001 You're correct. That's an original Seth Thomas Tambour. 1.2368 0.05183 114 94 13 7
3002 Toys 'r Us wasn't happy, but it really ties the room together. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
3003 I thought the only one left was in the White House. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
3004 If you think that's impressive, you should see the Loch Ness Monster I have mounted in the dining room. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
3005 It was during Mardi Gras after my third Sazerac. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
3006 Talk about your fantasy hunting trip ! 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
3007 Of course, my little girl no longer speaks to me since I used her as bait. 1.2368 0.05183 114 94 13 7
3008 I bagged him on the safari of my dreams. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
3009 I got this one at Disneyland last summer. I'm going back next month to see if I can get one of those giant mice. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
3010 It's from the fairground; I'd hang it up when the kids were naughty. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
3011 Luckiest of all creatures, they say. 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
3012 There was just something that set him apart from the others. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
3013 Needed just one shot at Six Flags 1.2353 0.04878 119 97 16 6
3014 I call it "My Little Pony." 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
3015 I'm fairly certain that's why the trophy hunter was cursed and died pennilessly. 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
3016 So, it used to exist? 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
3017 When it wouldn’t attend my daughter’s birthday party, I shot it. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3018 “When Katherine said she wanted a Unicorn for her birthday, I don’t think this was exactly what she meant. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3019 They're definitely not fake gnus. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3020 I was down to my last bullet, it was either him or the honest politician. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3021 When you tickle her nose, she sneezes rainbows. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3022 Surprisingly, they're not an endangered species. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3023 It's proof that Noah did have a couple of em aboard. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3024 Dude #1: The apartment also comes with the head of the unicorn that Voldemort slayed to sustain his life. Dude #2: I only need the apartment... 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3025 I think this new " mystic brew" is starting to kick in. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3026 ...that's when I realized, it was kill or be killed. 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
3027 This is the only way I could get into the club. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3028 Would you believe it’s actually a donkey in drag? 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3029 A unicorn? No this is just a horse we caught cosplaying. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3030 She almost talked me out of it. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3031 My granddaughter wasn't too crazy about this one. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3032 Very late at night December 13, 1969 at the estate of Dr. Timothy Leary. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3033 I had to travel to Narnia to get that one. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3034 You remember that dentist that killed Cecil the lion for a trophy? I think I outdid him! 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3035 He was an elusive bugger. I finally gunned him down in my granddaughter's dreams. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3036 She changes colors every Monday. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3037 Wait ‘til you see my flying pigs collection. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3038 And the middle one I bagged on my way home from a Hallowe'en party. 1.2342 0.05423 111 93 10 8
3039 The people in 9B have the unpleasant ends. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3040 I had to have this one. I caught and released the mermaid and the Loch Ness monster. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3041 It’s from fantasy hunter’s camp. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3042 You’re thinking My Little Pony. This is just a unicorn. 1.2342 0.05423 111 93 10 8
3043 Didn't shoot that one, just told her about Trump. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3044 Uncle Harold's taxidermist did have a uniquely pronounced taste for whimsy 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
3045 Now, we need a triceratops. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3046 I happened to be in Windsor, the day after the royal wedding... 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
3047 Gentlemen, let's thank Don Jr. for having the hunting ban removed on endangered species 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3048 We shot this one at Burning Man 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3049 Unfortunately, the efforts to save endangered species through limited hunting have not been 100% successful. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3050 Actually, not one of mine. I bought it from a Leprechaun. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3051 My daughter made me promise I would hang up something for her. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3052 Improbable, maybe, but the new rifle scope put out by Trump allows you to see things that aren't really there. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3053 I wanted something a bit more exotic. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3054 It's a cross between a horse and a narwhale 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3055 A collector from Saudi Arabia offered me a billion dollars for the middle one. I should have taken it. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3056 Who's mythic now? 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
3057 It once was a fairytale. They're now abundant in Silicon Valley. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3058 African hunting trip before all the controversy; the unicorn, last year at a birthday party around the corner. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3059 And the one in the middle is from Neverland. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3060 I believe the one in the middle had an implant. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3061 He gave me a funny look, said he was horny, so I shot him. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3062 I got him just outside Area 51 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3063 My lawyer played hard ball and I got these in the divorce. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3064 Sure, she tried hiding, but my bullet pierced right through that rainbow. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3065 See, proof that fantasies never last forever. 1.2342 0.05270 111 92 12 7
3066 Yeah, all my grandchildren disowned me afterwards, but it was worth it. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3067 Yes I do take my daughter hunting. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3068 Now you know why I never took the kids on my theme park trips. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3069 Just needed to thin the herd 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3070 He won every derby and had a way of staying ahead of the pack. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3071 And to think it took a Catholic, a Jew, and a Muslim. Cheers. 1.2342 0.04236 111 86 24 1
3072 Funnily, the unicorn is not as endangered as Republican Senators. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3073 They destroyed me for it on social media, but the hunt was FABULOUS. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3074 I was really surprised when I saw it in my yard! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3075 My granddaughter knows her way around a Remington. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3076 Yep, I got the last one 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3077 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure the second amendment protects my right to kill mythical animals. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
3078 I really thought my granddaughter would like this one, but she hasn't spoken to me since. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
3079 It could be worse, some daughters hate their dad's because they left. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
3080 Toys R Us clearance sale, 2018. 1.2342 0.05423 111 93 10 8
3081 You calling the police on this Negro or shall I? 1.2342 0.05423 111 93 10 8
3082 And this one is what's left of my years as a hippie. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
3083 We wanted a creature we could fit onarwhal. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
3084 I was able to nail this guy in Wakanda with a vibrainium-powered, sound-based weapon. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3085 And yet he had such small hooves. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3086 Tell me about the size of that fish you caught again. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
3087 I bagged her in Fantasyland last year. 1.2328 0.04952 116 95 15 6
3088 Once upon a time... 1.2321 0.04203 112 87 24 1
3089 My son is the first gay member at his hunting club. 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
3090 He came gracefully prancing out of the woods, a beautiful young woman, naked of course, astride his back--shot him, kept her. 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
3091 My granddaughter Dorothy got that one when she traveled to somewhere over the rainbow. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3092 Oh my God! Is that what happened to Twitlight Sparkle? 1.2321 0.05526 112 95 8 9
3093 Finding the horse is easy. Finding glue that sticks on it's head--now that's rare. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3094 The hardest part of this kill was finding a virgin who could consent to act as bait. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3095 Global warming and environmental destruction are even driving mythical creatures out of their habitats. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3096 Surprisingly, my daughters don't ask me for a "My Little Pony" anymore... 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3097 You should've seen the merry-go-round operator's face. A but horrified...but priceless. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3098 Not even magic can stop a bump stock. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
3099 It may look exotic, but it tastes like horse. 1.2321 0.04570 112 89 20 3
3100 Bagged this one in Central Park, at the merry-go-round. What a beauty, this one. 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
3101 You should have seen the look on that little kid's face when I jumped on the carousel with an axe. 1.2321 0.05227 112 93 12 7
3102 I was just a kid when I got that one. . . . Nobody'd ever believe me. So I shot it! . . . . . Proof! . . . . Biggest regret of my life. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3103 I didn’t believe it either. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3104 The weird thing is that I still have to feed it. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3105 Sustainably harvested on rather long psychedelic safari. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3106 And here I graduated from 'butcher' to 'myth buster'. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3107 No one ever asks me the story of how I shot that buck. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3108 Yeah ... the wife and I are divorced now. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3109 I bagged that one on a carousel. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3110 So...existing isn't all that it's cracked up to be, after all. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3111 Phoebe isn't pleased. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3112 Yeah, they discovered him in Thurber's garden. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3113 If they had only chosen to breed a few more miles from the proposed pipeline... 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3114 I always thought those unicorn crossing signs were a joke, but I put my blind up, and... 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3115 This one’s from our last visit to Narnia — before Aslan ruined it with all that “eco-tourism” nonsense. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3116 "I was stalking Big Foot ,when I ran into him". 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3117 I bought my daughter an AR-15 for her birthday, and I have to say, she's really taken to it. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3118 Don't worry—it was the SECOND to last unicorn. 1.2315 0.04077 108 83 25 0
3119 I'm a bit sad. I really thought that would be the one that got away. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3120 It was him or me. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3121 I bagged him at Disney World. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3122 That's right. I shot two in Africa, and the other was a gift from my husband. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3123 I also caught a rainbow that day, but I haven’t been able to mount it yet. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3124 My taxidermist created this one for me out of spare parts 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3125 Endangered species? We didn't have that in my youth. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3126 We donated the meat to the native leprechauns. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3127 It really compliments the griffinskin rug. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3128 Yes I voted for him, how’d you guess? 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3129 Understandably, Aslan will be upset. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3130 He was prancing around Disney World when I shot him. 1.2315 0.05361 108 90 11 7
3131 It's as real as the other trophies you see here. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3132 I bagged it for my daughter, and now she no longer speaks to me 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3133 Here at the White House, Ivanka has a hand in the decor. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3134 Who is the Democrat, the Republican, and the independent? 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3135 I shot that one in 1969; the acid was SO much better in those days 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3136 That Don Jr. thinks he’s hot stuff.. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3137 Yeah, I felt pretty bad; it was my daughter's 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3138 What can I say? My grandfather’s life was magical. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3139 He was getting to old to run so I had him put down. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3140 I won't bore you with the details. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3141 Our taxidermist also did the Easter Bunny and Bambi. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3142 Sadly enough, their love story ended badly. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3143 It was just so beautiful I had to have it. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3144 All you need is a horse, a gun, and some arts and crafts. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3145 Just a single mythical shot. 1.2315 0.05361 108 90 11 7
3146 So,... there I was in the kingdom of Magic Muffins, nothing but sugar puff fairies for days and on the final day we found her and I shot her dead BAM ! 1.2315 0.05361 108 90 11 7
3147 Sure, the kids on the carousel screamed when I shot the creature, but I had to add it to my collection. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3148 The legend is true: Its meat tastes just like a corporate tax cut. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3149 Eric has since been banned from attending carnivals. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3150 I was ultimately able to subdue the beast utilizing a bolt-action rifle and a single magic bullet. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3151 We had to sneak him through customs 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3152 So, this hunt raised, for me, the issue of whether or not mythological life has sanctity... 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3153 Guess I didn't dream it after all. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3154 Look at the horn on that one! 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3155 This one is for the kids. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3156 I call her, 'American Dream.' 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3157 That one I bought from a millennial. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3158 I bet it's Photoshopped. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3159 It's a prop, I really wanted a MR. Ed. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3160 Of course I used an extinct weapon. To do otherwise would be pointless. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3161 Jimmy’s Large Game Farm aims to please. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3162 I showed those venture capitalists. I just shot the damn thing. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3163 Got a lot of hate mail from the Irish Rovers for that one. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3164 Actually, it wasn't that elusive. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3165 The interior designer was from Silicon Valley. 1.2315 0.04077 108 83 25 0
3166 My first shot was a total myth. 1.2315 0.05520 108 91 9 8
3167 I got that one down in Silicon Valley. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3168 I bagged this one near a food cart Portland. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3169 I downed it with a magic bullet. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3170 My greatest trophy. It was worth it to remain a virgin for 70 years. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3171 My daughter was furious, but I couldn't resist. 1.2315 0.05520 108 91 9 8
3172 That one I snagged at my granddaughter’s birthday party. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3173 The other two I killed - that one made me a killing 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3174 It takes a little imagination. 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
3175 The man was startled, though he retained his composure. "Gentlemen, am I mad, or did that bear in the middle suddenly turn into an . . . oddly attractive unicorn?" To which the unicorn replied, "Darling, we all go a little mad sometimes." 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3176 A little gene splicing here and there and see what you get. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
3177 What makes you think I'm a fraud? 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3178 That's The Last Unicorn. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3179 I heard they captured it at the Neverland Ranch 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3180 It may be unique, but the kudu is a better hat rack. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3181 I told the taxidermist she was one of a kind. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3182 I bagged it on one of those New Age Safaris. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3183 That middle one was a particularly tough shot. He was almost completely obscured by rainbows. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
3184 My daughter hasn't spoken to me in weeks. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3185 I nabbed him while I was tilting at windmills. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3186 No laws were broken in the killing of this unicorn. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
3187 Talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2308 0.05333 104 86 12 6
3188 It was an unbelievable safari! 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
3189 Sometimes I'm glad we live in the Matrix. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
3190 Bagged it at my daughters birthday party 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3191 That safari guide was REALLY expensive, but he was worth it! 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3192 They told me it was all in my head 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3193 If you grab the horn, your hands will triple in size. The Viagracorn. 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
3194 I was aiming for a leprechaun. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3195 I got him when I was on a drug trip. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3196 And if we go out back, we'll see Nessie in the koi pond. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3197 Finally, we have something made in USA. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3198 We thought she'd grow out of her my little pony phase. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
3199 They say only a virgin maiden can catch one, but so can a virgin old man with a gun. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3200 So this is where the magic happens 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3201 I bagged the middle one in the 60's just outside of Woodstock, New York 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
3202 Apparently, when you try to post a unicorn pic on Instagram, it dies. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3203 What's the point? 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
3204 I was hoping to get one with two. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3205 My fantasy gaming really paid off. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3206 Yeah, I look like Bernie Sanders 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3207 I guess it really was endangered. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3208 The unicorn was a bit hard to find. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3209 I bagged this one on the Disney Princess safari. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3210 I got that one during the Father/Daughter 'Indian Princess' Weekend. 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3211 Who would have thought having less of something would make you more important. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
3212 I was thinning the herd. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3213 This Trumplandian Unicorn was shot by Don Jr. 1.2294 0.05473 109 92 9 8
3214 My granddaughter has disowned me but it’s worth it. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3215 When I had him in my sights, it was like being in a fairy tale. 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
3216 You're right -- that's a unique horn. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3217 I bagged that one in Silicon Valley. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3218 Yes, my taxidermist used to work in Hollwood 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
3219 I’m terribly sorry to say the little girl this belonged to was not happy at all about this. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3220 Appealing to little girls just wasn't enough of an evolutionary advantage. 1.2294 0.05473 109 92 9 8
3221 You had a gun in Florida? 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3222 Shame on you, son...... You killed your kids’ dreams and mounted them on your wall. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
3223 The other end's in the drawing room. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3224 Walter Palmer, dentist and lion killer extraordinaire, strikes again this time with a change of prey. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
3225 I spotted the middle one at the carousel, hunted high and low for him. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
3226 It was a humanitarian hunt. I didn’t want the last one to be lonely 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
3227 Life gave me no advantages, just two loving parents, money and education. Yet, I clawed my way to the top. The unicorn is my spirit animal. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
3228 Now I just need the rainbow. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
3229 Have you heard the one about the antelope, unicorn, and steer walk into a bar? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
3230 PRETTY GAUDY DISPLAY FOR A ONE POINTER, DON'T YOU THINK? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
3231 Yeah, I tried that. I ground up the tip of the horn and ate it. Didn't help my dick at all, not even a little bit. In that sense, the thing died for no reason. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
3232 . . . and THIS little beauty won Best in Show at last year's Halloween Fantasy Ball. Follow me, Meg's half is in the kitchen. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
3233 And you know, at the time, I had no personal knowledge that he was the last surviving Unicorn. Didn't have a clue. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
3234 Don't worry, it's faux. It's really pegasus head with manticore horn attached. I'm not a monster, you know. 1.2273 0.05271 110 92 11 7
3235 Yea, I was first in that javelin competition. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
3236 It kind of took the pain off of remaining a virgin for all these years. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
3237 I brought in a team of leprechauns to stuff and mount it. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
3238 I got this one in the Trump alternative reality bubble..... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3239 I bagged this one before memes and during LSD. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3240 Unique, yes. But not very. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3241 He was the fraternity brother who always had to stand out from the crowd 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3242 The President made it legal to hunt for these. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3243 “ I only shot this one because it crept up on me from behind to give me a nudge”. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3244 It was him or me. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3245 Who knew it was an endangered species? 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3246 He was coming right at me. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3247 Just spotting one wasn't easy. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3248 I'm confused. I feel like I'm on the horn of a unilemma. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3249 The leprechaun’s head is in the shed out back. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3250 You should see the rest of the Carousel. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3251 The wings are coming back from the dry cleaner 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3252 Is it any wonder he also had the biggest crowd in history at his inauguration? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3253 I found him hanging out with a mermaid. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3254 Let's just say, 'what happens in Disney stays in Disney.' 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3255 Of course, it's a plastic replica. But it's still my favorite. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3256 I had to read a lot of fairy tales to find that one 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3257 I suppose that proves that they WERE real. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3258 Oh it's nothing. Just wait until you sit down for dinner. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3259 You'd think it'd be more of a chick magnet. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3260 Never saw one before. Haven’t seen one since. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3261 And that's what's left of Theranos 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3262 This in not fake gnus. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3263 Shot it in a dream 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3264 This is the fit rhino I was telling you about. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3265 Yes, it is endangered, but my son is the game warden. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3266 Ira, I love what you've done with the place. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3267 Well, they’re rarer now! 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3268 I'm mellowing. I shoot only imaginary animals these days. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3269 The taxidermist doubles as a hair stylist. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3270 Easy. I just waited outside the exchange for its stock to crash 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3271 They told me they weren't endangered. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3272 I really thought I was dreaming when I got him in my sight. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3273 She was only flirting, and you SHOT her! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3274 It was just nice to have that father-daughter bonding time. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3275 Who’s kidding who here? 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3276 Turns out North Korea wasn’t lying 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3277 It upsets my grandchildren so much that they overlook my mountings of actual ‘kills.’ 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3278 Yeah, but "My Little Pony" got away. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3279 It’s my daughter’s favorite, but I really feel like it throws off the aesthetic. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3280 I got it on ebay. 1.2264 0.05573 106 90 8 8
3281 Next month I’m going on a dragon safari. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3282 I bagged that one while on acid back in 1966. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3283 My daughter's been crying for a month. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3284 So you're a virgin. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3285 I bagged this one while tripping in Shangri-La. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3286 I got this one on safari with Ryan Zinke. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3287 Fake Taxidermy 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3288 I bagged it at the Cloisters. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3289 I don't know why it was attracted to my wife. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3290 They may have loosened the wildlife regulations a bit too much this time. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3291 I told my daughter 100's of times "enough about a "Unicorn" living in our backyard"now go to sleep. Her persistence paid off. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3292 Trump just lifted the import ban on trophies of endangered—alternative animals. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3293 From where I was standing, I could have sworn it was a rhinoceros. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3294 It illustrates our commitment to racial and sexual diversity. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3295 The Unicorn kind of makes sense but I don't know why you would use your other two wishes on those other mounts. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3296 It wasn't mythical. But now it's extinct. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3297 ...and that's how I got my reputation as a legendary hunter! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3298 So we drained the swamp, and guess what? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3299 An environmentalist he wasn't. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3300 We'll never have a hunt like that again. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3301 I bought it from a deli owner going out of business. He used to keep bagels on it. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3302 It was a "one of a kind" find! 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3303 Which one of these, is not like the others? 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3304 It's the one unicorn my wife would let me bring home 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3305 These guys seem really impressed but they should see the two unicorns Don shot. And Eric landed a beautiful mermaid that's now mounted at Mar a Lago 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3306 Pretty sure he was the last one. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3307 Well, you guys needled me so much, I had to kill her to prove that she indeed, existed! 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3308 Actually, my pre-teen daughter shot it. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3309 I bagged that baby at The Cloisters. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3310 Wow, even mythical creatures need to fear hunters. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3311 Yes it's the last unicorn and it was shot at a Trump golf course. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3312 He kept chasing that dream until he got it. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3313 The one in the middle is actually worth more alive than dead. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3314 I caught this one in my sleep. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3315 Big game hunting is such a magical sport. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3316 Without the entire carousel...the elements of art are lacking. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3317 Of course they existed! They were merely hunted to extinction. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3318 Trump's hunting deregulation extends even to mythical animals. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3319 Deer were out of season. 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3320 I regret having shot that one, since it has only one horn. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3321 The grandkids won't talk to me any more, but it was a great trip. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3322 And then it went public. That's how you kill a unicorn. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3323 Oh, I bagged that one at a carousel in New Jersey. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3324 He's trying to collect all four. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3325 She's not a unicorn. It's just a leftover from her merry-go-round days. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3326 So that is what happened to My Little Pony. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3327 I’m a little surprised you shot a one pointer. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3328 God bless Ryan Zinke. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3329 Yeah, I heard they were making a comeback, I just couldn’t let that happen. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3330 Had to pay off the game warden with pixie dust. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3331 I hunted that one when I was on safari in Hollywood. 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3332 My daughter thinks it’s tacky. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3333 Bagged that one just north of Anaheim. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3334 No, Ted. After 32 years, my daughter still won't talk to me. I haven't a clue why. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3335 Actually, that one's just from an old carousel.... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3336 And here is the trophy from my hunting trip in the Land of Makebelieve. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3337 You just hook the 3D printer up to one of the kiddie adventure shows. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3338 That Carousel was a Jungle. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3339 "It's not about race". 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3340 My daughter wishes I was dead. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3341 So hear you'll see Rudolph, a Unicorn and Ferdinand. When we punish our kid we go all in. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3342 Moondancer would have been worth so much more if I had kept her in the original packaging. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3343 Ok! So I’m a virgin! Don’t judge me. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3344 He was a great horse but he always wanted to be a rhino. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3345 Slaughtered that one for our daughter! 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3346 The tough part was finding a virgin. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3347 That trip was my granddaughter's idea 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3348 I know, I know: I shouldn't have shot it... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3349 It's a gift from Ryan Zinke. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3350 Thirty-ought-six, 12 gauge, and the Talisman of the Magi. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3351 I had a clear shot at the Yeti till this dummy got in the way. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3352 I got it as part of an IPO. There are more of these than you'd think. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3353 I shot her in my dreams. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3354 Martha still insists she bagged that one--poor dear. We put a marker in the garden where she said it happened. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3355 Magical isn’t it? 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3356 ... and that's no bull, Chad. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3357 It challenges the old saying: Two Horns are Better than One" 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3358 And that was the day my imagination died. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3359 And I brought this one down with a muzzle of rainbows, lollipops and cotton candy. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3360 The safari leader promised a manticore, but well, you know how it goes. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3361 I think their going too far with Fantasy Sports...Fantasy Hunting! Really? 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3362 Bagged that one at a cosplay conference in Portland. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3363 It was a phase I grew out of.” 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3364 Some say, "One should never kill his fantasy," but I say putting her on the wall just proves she was real. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3365 The Unicorn may be captured alive only by a virgin. My wife bagged him on our honeymoon. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3366 I could feel the unicorn-friendship-magic-coursing-through-my-veins... then I didn't. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3367 No. But the eye-lashes are. 1.2264 0.05573 106 90 8 8
3368 They said it was the last one. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3369 You should have seen the look on the Centaur face! 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3370 Not as rare to spot as you think back in the 60s. 1.2264 0.04084 106 82 24 0
3371 Yes, it's a vanishing species, but what the hey! 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3372 When Ivanka was a little girl, shesaid she wanted a unicorn.....I think Eric and Donald Jr. Misunderstood. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3373 This one is truly one of a kind. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3374 ..and I bagged that one in the Great Silicon Valley. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3375 oh my god, I love My Little Pony too. 1.2264 0.05573 106 90 8 8
3376 Unfortunately, the zebracorn got away. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3377 I just picked it up at Wal-Mart. Oh sorry, I thought you were talking about the clock. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3378 Dude, did that just move? 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3379 That was the year I joined a fantasy league. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3380 He was a non-breeder, anyways. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3381 The horn, mane, and head are all fake, but it’s really something. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3382 I got the middle one when I was 9. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3383 She was kind of a bitch... 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3384 I got a really good deal from a Toys R Us store. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3385 I bagged that one on the hunting trip I took with Timothy Leary. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3386 Found it in my bed when Gollum tried to make me an offer I couldn't refuse. Precious. 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3387 Mounting one of these has always been a fantasy of mine. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3388 The maid is an aspiring costume and makeup artist. Last week she had the bull looking like a triceratops. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3389 My first unicorn! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3390 I used my 12-gauge magic wand for this one. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3391 Have you ever played Two Truths and a Lie? 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3392 The fact that it was the last one makes it so much more rewarding. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3393 I bagged that one in the Hamptons. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3394 I'm trying to start a Cryptozoo. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3395 It's too bad they don't have an EPA in Atlantis. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3396 There is something vaguely masculine about this one. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3397 I shot this beauty at the circus.” 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3398 Haters will say it's not real 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3399 And was I ever lucky, I got him with my last shot! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3400 We're all monsters. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3401 See I told you unicorns existed. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3402 The Minotaur got away 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3403 More fake news. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3404 Shouldn't it be 'unihorn?' 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3405 The steaks were mythic. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3406 I was aiming for the rainbow. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3407 Slight faux pas with little Poppet’s Christmas list, I’m afraid. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3408 Maybe we should get out of here. 1.2264 0.05573 106 90 8 8
3409 They're great for hanging wet clothes over the fire. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3410 ... and that's why Kevin was banned from the zoo. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3411 I had a leprechaun as a hunting guide. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3412 These days they're everywhere 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3413 Say--that's a nice looking clock you have there. Ever consider selling it? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3414 Indeed, museum quality, but maybe we should we rejoin the ladies? I think they've stopped screaming now. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3415 I found this one hiding in Palo Alto. It never made it to series c. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3416 I suppose I need a refill on my meds 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3417 It only cost a couple of extra bucks 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3418 She was elusive, but, once I said I believed, it was smooth sailing. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3419 I guess it wasn’t fake news after all... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3420 It was supposed to help my sex life. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3421 Unfortunately, my granddaughter has disowned me. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3422 Here at Mar-a-Lago, it's open season on enchantment. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3423 It was surprisingly easy, really. All you need is a really big gun and a half-dozen or so virgins. 1.2264 0.04084 106 82 24 0
3424 I won 'Special Mention' in the 'Sincerely Held Belief' category for that one ... 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3425 I bagged this beauty at my niece's birthday party. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3426 I don't know, Bob. This isn't what I had in mind when I asked for something one-of-a-kind. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3427 I went hunting for Congress's integrity, but only found this instead. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3428 I bagged that one on safari at a theme park. 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3429 Ah yes, the rare Bored Unicorn. I bagged this one at an accountant's convention. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3430 Yep, it was the only unicorn in existence. I just wish it matched my decor better. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3431 I've also got a centaur in the dining room. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3432 Ah, yes, the LEAST dangerous game... 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3433 That's why I don't take my daughter on safari. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3434 .....in ‘78, I went on safari in Lala-land. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3435 The Loch Ness monster is next on my list. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3436 He was right about the tax cuts too. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3437 Sometimes I regret poppin him one. 1.2264 0.04084 106 82 24 0
3438 The rainbows are in the den. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3439 They tell me I shot the last one. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3440 The ice cream cone's a nice touch! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3441 I shot that one when I was on acid. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3442 I have always identified with the less horny variety. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3443 Nope, apparently they’re no longer listed as endangered 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3444 It's one of the advantages of living in silicon valley. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3445 I shot that one on some great acid. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3446 My grand-daughter bagged that one in her bedroom. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
3447 It was the most ostentatiously expensive hunting tag I could buy. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3448 When I was a kid, they convinced me to become a believer. So I did. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3449 Yes, it's a rare cross between a Game of Thrones and a Westworld. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3450 "It's sacred, yes, but I had to slay it for the non-believers". 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3451 My little granddaughter won't speak to me now! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3452 I sometimes feel bad about the other two, but he's mythelogical. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3453 No, but one horn is better than none at all. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3454 Well, he wasn’t eligible for the Belmont Stakes so.... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3455 And I thought the Passenger Pigeon was a bit tacky. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
3456 My daughter bagged this one to prove she was a still a virgin 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3457 This one I shot with an imaginary gun 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3458 And then the damned horse galloped right into my awl. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3459 I found him in Never-Never Land. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3460 Actually my grand-daughter helped with this one... 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3461 I drew this in with a bag of Skittles. 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3462 I didn't shoot the middle one. It bored through the wall. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3463 Yes, interesting story behind that one. 1.2264 0.04299 106 83 22 1
3464 It's amazing what a 4 year old girl can accomplish, when you tell her that none of the Disney Princesses believe in them. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3465 They were out of Rhinos 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3466 The hardest part was finding a virgin to help capture it. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
3467 When my granddaughter arrives it is going to get real awkward reall fast. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3468 I had both the Unicorn and a Pegasus in my sights, but the Pegasus flew off when I fired. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3469 unicorns don't exist, so they're not an endangered species. you can kill as many as you like 1.2264 0.05409 106 89 10 7
3470 She was our daughter's favorite growing up, so I didn't want it to get away. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3471 Just a reminder of my non-trophy start-up company. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3472 That hunt was just unbelievable. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
3473 You are imagining it. It is't really there. 1.2261 0.04793 115 94 16 5
3474 NOW do you believe it wasn't just an acid trip... 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3475 It’s quite a talking point. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3476 No, the one on the right is a cow. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3477 Her eyes are following me. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3478 Probably shouldn’t have, as it was the only female left in the world, but you learn from your mistakes, don’t you ? 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3479 My seven year old granddaughter bagged that one. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3480 I can’t think of a single funny thing to say about this. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3481 Appalling, but it jump-starts conversation. 1.2243 0.04051 107 83 24 0
3482 Gentlemen, the only thing hornier than my wall is my wife. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
3483 Yeah, the taxidermist said unicorns were his favorite. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
3484 After spending thousands on unsuccessful hunts, I finally gave up and bought one online. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
3485 I met that one in group therapy. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
3486 ...and the one in the middle I killed on our wedding night... 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
3487 This is the last time I visit the Oval Office. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3488 Is that the correct time? 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
3489 Where did you say you were from again? 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3490 Yup. But I lost it all on Bitcoin. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3491 Do you notice anything out of place? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3492 I bagged that one in the jungles of Narnia, mainly for my granddaughter. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3493 Hemingway must have been drinking. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3494 Ah that one ... just good luck. It turned out that our safari guide was a virgin. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3495 I bagged that one in my daughter's playroom! 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3496 No it didn't work, I am still gay. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
3497 We're all trying to be more eco-friendly now. I bagged this beauty on a Carousel in Central Park! 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3498 It was a dream hunting trip. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3499 No, you aren't wrong, it could be a horse. That just doesn't make me feel any better about it. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3500 They're just animals. Wanna see my elf shrunken heads? 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3501 In my daughter’s room. 1985. Nearly impaled me. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
3502 And the middle one was my little pony. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
3503 It's my most magical trophy yet. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3504 It speaks to the fact that not only do I believe in Unicorns, but I will kill them too. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3505 My daughter shot that one. An enchanted forest east of Dayton. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3506 Do you think they're thinking the same thing we're thinking? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
3507 Don't feel so uppity now, do ya? 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3508 The hardest part was getting the hunting license. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
3509 A buck, a unicorn and a bull walk into a bar . . . 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
3510 Call me a coastal elitist, but I just don't believe in this kind of thing. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
3511 The older I get the shorter the unicorn season seems to be. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3512 Very hard to get that one. I kept tripping over rainbows. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
3513 I lost my virginity the very next weekend. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
3514 And this is my collection for when I'm feeling horny 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3515 I lured that one with a trail of Skittles. 1.2233 0.04124 103 80 23 0
3516 I don't care what Terry says. He hit it with his car and is too embarrassed to tell us. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3517 It used to be unique. Now every CEO has one. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
3518 A wimpy one pointer? c'mon man. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
3519 I searched the globe and it turns up at a local fairground 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3520 She's a beaut. Did you bag her in Neverland? 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3521 "I bagged that one in the middle on the way back from a Grateful Dead concert in '68. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3522 An Antelope, an Ox, and a Unicorn walk into a bar... 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3523 Well, I can guarantee my daughter will have mixed emotions about this. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3524 My granddaughter never forgave me for that one. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3525 I know your daughter has always asked for one, but Don, I dont think she'll like this. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3526 I see you take your daughter hunting. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3527 I thought she would have a problem, but my 8-year old daughter took it with a Winchester .300 mag at 275 yards. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3528 My daughter bagged that one on her fifth birthday. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3529 We simply adored Get Out. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
3530 I bagged the middle one at Disney World. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3531 That center one was a tough kill compared to the deer & cow 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
3532 In my day we 'd call 'em Betty Davis eyes 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3533 I tracked it down to the Conney Island merry go round 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
3534 So Don Jr. does have a sense of humor. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3535 Daughter Number 2 still won't talk to me. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3536 The centerpiece is from my Fantasy Safari." 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3537 After I grazed her, it was fairly easy to track her down thanks to the trail of sparkles. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3538 More fake news. 1.2233 0.05507 103 87 9 7
3539 I shot that one for my daughter. 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
3540 I bagged him right after My Little Pony ran away. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3541 I heard his wife is a Mermaid. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3542 I wonder what they did with the rest of it... 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3543 last of its kind but hey at least it’s not a famous lion 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3544 There's nothing we can't extinguish. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3545 After years of hunting, I finally got the last one! 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3546 Endangered, damn right he was, that why he's on the wall! 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3547 ....it was Woodstock, '69. She was my first love, and knew I couldn't let her get away. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3548 Forced to watch reality tv for all of eternity. 1.2233 0.05507 103 87 9 7
3549 Next on my list is Big Foot, the Lock Ness Monster, and the Male White Rhino. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3550 She was a triple crown winner, too. 1.2233 0.05507 103 87 9 7
3551 The focal point of the whole arrangement is actually the picture frame 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3552 Trophy hunting isn't about the circle of life, though the middle one is about the carousel. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
3553 The brochure called it 'Safarnia' 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
3554 My daughter really likes her AK47 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3555 Fun fact: they bleed rainbows. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3556 You just can't set your sights till you stop the merry go round. 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3557 He just happened to be the one that stood out... 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3558 It got too real when the rainbows started pouring out of her eyes. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3559 Funny story, I was actually aiming at my granddaughter. 1.2233 0.05507 103 87 9 7
3560 Damn’est dream I ever had! 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3561 A filet from this one made Viagra seem like a sedative 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
3562 To tell you the truth that’s not what I was aiming at. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3563 I bagged that one in my daughter's dreamcatcher. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
3564 I decided to combine my hobbies; hunting, and creative writing. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
3565 I sold the hooves to make super-super glue. 1.2232 0.05027 112 93 13 6
3566 My first diversity safari. 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
3567 Yeah, but Bambi got away. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
3568 I knew something was off when it wouldn’t die. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3569 A gift from Don Jrs’ last hunt in Narnia! 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
3570 "Donald Jr. and Eric with the help of the Russians killed those animals and Daddy knew it.! 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
3571 I'm teaching my granddaughter to be a responsible gun owner 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
3572 I bagged that one in days of yore. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
3573 Inside she was all sparkles and confetti 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
3574 Yeah, I took down that unicorn with an ice cream cone to the head. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
3575 We got this one from the same dentist that shot Cecil 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
3576 Well, I damn sure couldn't tame it. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
3577 The meat tasted like dreams and rainbows. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3578 My heart took me to him, the gun did the rest. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3579 I’m on the Ministry of Magic’s hit list. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
3580 It’s from a very exclusive and remote safari that my daughter chose. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
3581 I bagged him at Fantasy World. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
3582 The real prize was the look on them kids faces 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3583 The Irish Rovers bagged that one with a sure hit way back in ‘68. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3584 It's a beauty, but my wife makes me take it down when our granddaughters visit. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3585 I grant you that My Little Ponies aren't an endangered species, but it's still crossing the line to shoot one. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3586 A centrist unicorn . . . seems to make sense. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
3587 She was captured just before boarding the ark. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3588 You know, I'd describe it as a gamier version of Yeti. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3589 It's no Sasquatch - but I like it. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3590 I bagged this one at Disney Studios. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3591 Well, that is the last time we met Jim hunt on LSD. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3592 Looks like he was trying to make a point. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3593 Actually, many, many people are saying it's a rhinoceros. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3594 Hey Walt, how's the dental practice going? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3595 This Unihorse won first prize in the Credibility Gap competition at the World Fair. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3596 It tasted a bit like Mermaid, but not as fishy. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3597 And this one was shot by Trump Jr. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3598 Of course I had to go through the wardrobe for that one. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3599 The Kochs posted a bounty and one of the Twit-in-Chief’s sons collected on 16 June 2015. I got it at a garage sale. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3600 My father was a hunter with a very powerful imagination. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3601 Trust me, you won't see another one of these anywhere. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3602 I tell ya, that was not an easy one to explain to my daughter. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3603 Phoebe is gonna be really upset with you. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3604 The toughest part of the hunt is finding a virgin. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3605 Annika was crying pretty hard, which makes her accuracy all the more impressive. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3606 I shot that at an arcade. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3607 I bagged the middle one on November 7, 2016. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3608 I bagged the middle one for my granddaughter. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3609 Welll , look at her She was teasing me. I am sure she wanted to be shot. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3610 It was supposed to be "Catch & Release", but I couldn't resist. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3611 This one really upset my daughter. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3612 After seeing the rainbow, I then reached for my lollipop. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3613 I guess this means one of us is a virgin. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3614 Don't let it be forgot that once there was a spot for happy everaftering known as Camelot. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3615 I don’t dare tell the Ministry of Magic. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
3616 My financial advisor told me I should diversify my portfolio with a unicorn. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3617 This guy could be a real pain in the butt. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3618 Contrary to popular belief Unicorns don't fly. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3619 Lured it in with a recording of my granddaughter's birthday party and then, BANG. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3620 So Phil told us to look and see if we notice anything special. All I see is a clock that’s 5 minutes fast! 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3621 It was the only bullet I've ever owned 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3622 My guy touched it up a little with Taxidermi-Shop. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3623 Bagged that one in my granddaughter's backyard. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3624 It's OK as long as you have a permit from the Ministry of Magic. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3625 Took him down with a single shot at my oldest daughter’s birthday party. 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
3626 Yup ... it was like taking candy from a baby. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
3627 That's nice... Did you hear we have a Manchurian president and democracy's dead? 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
3628 So for my third and final wish... 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
3629 Our diversity and inclusion program was the inspiration. 1.2202 0.04582 109 88 18 3
3630 I was supposed to go with him on that trip - but I was passing a kidney stone... 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3631 They don't taste like chicken. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
3632 And this one expired naturally on my first day of school. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
3633 She's from the Deep State. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
3634 Look again gentlemen and choose wisely. Left; we have the fast one. Who just lost the race. Right; we have incredible strength. Now the butchers bull. In the center; we have the ability to ride rainbows. Plus the horn thing. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3635 I prefer the deer myself, but I thought my granddaughter might like the unicorn to be in the center. 1.2190 0.05577 105 90 7 8
3636 Funny story - I bagged him in my daughter's room. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3637 Yeah, well our 'sweet' little Jenny got sent home for putting him down at Magic Camp. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3638 The nice thing is, only my taxidermist and I know for sure... 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3639 I don't know, man - it was almost 50 years ago - I was on LSD and I thought I saw two horns. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3640 My daughter bagged that one. Of course, she was much younger then. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3641 I got bored of fantasy football 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3642 Actually, I sawed it off a carousel. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3643 Inspires both sexes actually. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
3644 The rainbow princess would be up there, too, if my AR-15 hadn’t jammed. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3645 I had second thoughts -- but I needed to fill the space. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
3646 The hardest part was getting it out of the Disney studio without security seeing us 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3647 I know they're endangered, but just one couldn't matter so much. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3648 My son got this one after his tech company's IPO. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3649 It was a one in a billion shot. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
3650 Cheney bagged that one. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3651 You think that's unique. I've got a Hydra down at the taxidermist and I'm trying to figure out where to mount all the heads. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
3652 I thought my granddaughter would be impressed, but she just ran away in tears. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3653 My grandson is going through beauty school. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3654 His horn never posed a dilemma. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3655 I mistakenly shot two white rhinos before finally catch her 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3656 It's a Scottish thing with attitude. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3657 My taxidermist is also in my fantasy league. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3658 My wife said hanging the gnome's head would be too much. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3659 I bagged that one outside of Hogwarts! 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
3660 I checked, it's not on the Endangered Species List. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3661 In my freezer I have the rainbow ice cream she was pooping when I killed her too. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3662 You realize this announces to everyone that you are a virgin. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3663 That one was for the chicks. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3664 The real credit goes to Ryan Zinke! 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3665 Naw, Unicorn horns aren’t woth that much in the market 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3666 Don't tell Helen 1.2178 0.05559 101 86 8 7
3667 We have updated our privacy policy. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3668 I bagged this one at my daughter's first birthday party. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3669 The unicorn is from a carousel I got when I foreclosed on a Shriners' hospital. 1.2178 0.05559 101 86 8 7
3670 Just one bite of those funky fairy-tale mushrooms, and I saw her. The 3D printer did the rest. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3671 Well, I wanted to do an African Safari again, but the wife was hot to check out this place called the Magic Forest, so ... 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3672 That's the stuff legends are made of. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3673 Guy 1: "Isn't it majestic?" Guy 2: "Isn't it exquisite?" Guy 3: "Yes, that antique clock sure is something." 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3674 I’m not sure that outsourcing my taxidermy to a startup was such a good idea. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3675 Yes, it looks impressive, but it's just another example of a water buffalo in a really clever disguise. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3676 I had to give up my dentistry practice for this one, but I'd say it was worth it 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3677 My wife mounted these. I don't know why. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3678 I think all this caffeine is driving me insane. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3679 My eyes are just not what they used to be. They do shoot horses, don't they? 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3680 That one was from before The Flood. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3681 ... a dreamcatcher and some tripwire. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3682 Perhaps we should have stopped game hunting them sooner, gents. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3683 I bagged that one in Anaheim, with an early morning pass to Disneyland. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
3684 Rare? No, I'd rather have it well done. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3685 My daughter was seven when I bagged that one. Hasn’t talked to me since! 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3686 And I always thought all cows looked the same ... 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3687 I bagged that one at FAO Schwartz 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3688 He won the Belmont but was disqualified for using that horn. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3689 Took some real shooting. Must've been four or five little girls on her back at the time. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3690 It was a dream come true. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3691 His horn follows me around the room. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3692 The unicorn's a female. You can tell by her eyelashes. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3693 I still want something more exotic. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3694 Fox News IS real! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3695 You think that's impressive! Wait until I show you my fishing trophies! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3696 What's your daughter gonna say?!" "She's the one that mounted it 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3697 We bagged this one outside a My Little Pony Bronie convention. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3698 What did I tell you? Smithers' hunting exploits are legendary. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3699 Me and the boys bagged this ol’ girl back in the ‘60s. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3700 I shot it for my daughter's fifth birthday. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3701 It's the Ivanka of my collection. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3702 Thank God I had my self-loading, semi-automatic TD-95 on me. 1.2178 0.05559 101 86 8 7
3703 I'd tell you about that middle one but you'd never believe me. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3704 Thank goodness I was carrying my gun when I inspected that mysterious wardrobe. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3705 It was for my granddaughter; we haven't spoken lately. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3706 I think the taxidermist screwed it up. Somehow it was way more beautiful cantering down that rainbow I shot it on. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3707 It came with the apology letter from the IRS. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3708 He offered me a wish then I said it's to mount him! 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3709 I have zero tolerance for those who glitter. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3710 I think I see the point. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3711 Ahh. Represents a start-up company valued at more than a billion dollars, typically in the software or technology sector. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3712 I just wish I could add something interesting to my collection, ya know? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3713 Of course, I haven't heard from my daughter since she turned 11. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3714 This one was actually road kill 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3715 It languished for years in one of those s******e countries until Trump eased the import rules. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3716 Dude, I though you had something else in mind when you said you were horny. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3717 My granddaughter was most distraught when she saw me come home with this one . . . 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3718 Big game hunting? More like Dungeons & Dragons... 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
3719 Yep, brought this baby down with one shot from 400 yards while Ed barely winged the princess. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3720 You mounted the wrong end. I heard they shit rainbows! 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3721 I named her Theranos, because she still doesn’t know she’s dead. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3722 I kissed a horny toad ... hoping for My Little Pony. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
3723 And I keep Bigfoot in my half-man cave. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3724 I know, they're everywhere now. Maybe I should move it to the den. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3725 Bow and Arrow, IPO, Rifle. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3726 Yep! No one believed me when I told them I had seen one . Now I showed them! 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3727 Not sure if I should say this, but it kind of makes me horny... 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3728 The Trump boy shot it in never never land 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3729 One day he just crashed through the house so I started to feed him. He doesn't plan on leaving now or ever by the look of things. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
3730 My granddaughter bagged the one in the middle. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
3731 I'll undoubtedly show up in some angry meme on Facebook, but it was worth it. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3732 She’s real and she’s fabulous. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
3733 I caught this one sleeping with my wife. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
3734 Bagged this one right before they became an endangered species. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
3735 …. and this one I found in a small bar in New Orleans. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
3736 It's a lot, but not a cornucopia. 1.2170 0.04240 106 84 21 1
3737 Next year, I hope to bag My Little Pony. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
3738 He bagged it at Fantasy Hunting Camp. 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
3739 I saw something sparkling in the twilight and 'pow'! Beauty, ain't she? 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
3740 It gets harder and harder to draw attention to how sick you are these days. 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
3741 I'd had a little too much to drink and thought it was a Rhinoceros. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
3742 I got the Unicorn at a fundraiser event for NRA at Dick Cheney’s house in a silent auction. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
3743 Took that one down from 200 yards. The leprechaun riding her got away. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
3744 I have an erection. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
3745 The guy in the middle ran me around in circles before I could bag him. 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
3746 So, are you really a virgin? 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
3747 It was eating lilies in the Thurber's garden, when I shot it. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3748 Yeah, I got this one hunting in Silicon Valley. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
3749 It was running in circles and jumping up and down when I shot it. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
3750 It was a long shot. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
3751 They don't really exist, so technically I didn't kill and endangered species. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3752 Most of these animals were killed with a hunting rifle but this one was shot with a rain-bow. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3753 That hardest part was tracking down the mythical bullets. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
3754 Don’t let the rainbow mane fool you. They’re predators. Look there, you can see it in the eyes. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
3755 We took our daughter's Girl Scout troop hunting. 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
3756 My daughter was devastated... 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3757 Sightings are no longer rare, but it is very unusual to have evidence of an actual kill. 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
3758 And, here I thought unicorns were lucky! 1.2150 0.05148 107 90 11 6
3759 I bagged that one at my daughter's 13th birthday party. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
3760 There was a virgin too, but she got away 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
3761 I got it for one bitcoin. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3762 Strange-I’ve never seen another since I bagged this one! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3763 ...And these are from my hunting trip to Narnia last summer. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3764 Of course we didn't shoot it. It was T-boned by a flying saucer. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3765 The hardest part was leaving the foals behind. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3766 The one on the left was my Kenya trip and the middle one was my favorite acid trip. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3767 my wife's hairdresser thought it hadn't caught up with modern fashion 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3768 Joe's from which part of Tanzania, again? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3769 This one I got in magic mountain spring semester 1967 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3770 Females are impossible. My daughter said she wanted a unicorn, and then she complained when I got this. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3771 Well I guess the tech bubble finally burst. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3772 I bagged this one the last time I was in Shangri-La. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
3773 When they said there was a bag limit of one, I didn't know they meant a bag limit of one. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3774 I had to travel through time for the beauty in the middle. 1.2143 0.05664 98 84 7 7
3775 No, I had it made. Got me a young wife, though. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3776 I said hell with the children's cartoon people. I've got my rights, too. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3777 My daughter may only be eight but she’s already a great shot. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3778 Last week you said you were up 26% in the market, now this crap! 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
3779 I needed something to brighten up the room. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3780 Is was a party hat at the last proctologists New Years Party. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
3781 he had a great career when it depended on a photo finish 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
3782 During my youth, I discovered him and idolized him. During my third mid-life crisis, I shot him. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
3783 1967, the Magical Mystery Tour 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
3784 I'd have sworn he was a rhino with a good stylist...." 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
3785 She wanted to mount the horse. The horn was my idea. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
3786 They really do have glitter in their veins. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3787 His trophy wife. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3788 I got lucky—there were a limited number of permits available this year. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3789 Of course this one is my most fantastic trophy. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3790 The Narnia trip was Mildred's idea, actually. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3791 Having grandkids can be rewarding. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3792 So now you know why it appears that I have two belly buttons. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3793 Nailed that puppy on a brutal midnight raid in Silicon Valley 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3794 My wife wanted to add a touch of whimsy. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3795 I convinced my daughter it was a rhino. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3796 I shot this one at Disney World! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3797 It's my one tangible memory of the Summer of Love. Still trying to come to terms with it. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3798 I told you unicorns were real. 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
3799 I thought the highlights would make her eyes pop. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3800 I took LSD once while I was hunting. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3801 There's a horny display if ever there was one. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3802 It really ties the room together 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3803 A local healer wanted to grind it up to make some mystical potions out of it, but to me that seemed like a waste of a perfectly good trophy. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3804 My daughter wanted to keep it as a pet, but I told her they cannot be tamed. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3805 It just appeared there in November, 2016. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3806 I sold the mate for the Sasquatch on the opposite wall. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3807 One guess what tonight's dessert is. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3808 Turns out she was called Cecily. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3809 You'd think it would wait to appear after the next election wouldn't you? 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3810 And next I'll show you my collection of trolls and fairies 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3811 The hardest part was finding a virgin to help capture it. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3812 No one believed it was real until she came home with this. 1.2121 0.05611 99 85 7 7
3813 Would you look at that! They finally let in a black person. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3814 A memento from my VC days. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3815 She belonged to my ex. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3816 Even her glue was full of glitter. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3817 Show-off. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3818 All this time I thought gazelles weren’t real. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3819 The center one is quite unique. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3820 It was the only time I felt on the horn of a dilemma. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3821 I have a unicorn on my left big toe. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3822 It would be hard to find the right bait today. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3823 This one is very rare. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3824 I know it’s wrong, but I needed something to replace the Phoenix. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3825 Yeah, protections are pretty lax these days 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3826 You know, they were considered "Endangered" till the Trump Administration. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3827 Of course, my granddaughter has never forgiven me. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3828 I had to use an arrow soaked with my special herbs for him. The hunting rifle was useless! 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3829 You only get one shot 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3830 Pruitt says you can bait them with peppermints and sugar cubes. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3831 Our grand daughter's a great shot and a real American Girl. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3832 It looks pissed off. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3833 OMG! Men are all the same...they act like they've never seen a horn before! "Hey Buddy! My eyes are down here!" 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3834 She was my Heart of Darkness 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3835 In fact, I did lobby Trump for the elimination of all regulations on the importation of trophies of mythical beasts. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3836 Yes, my very first GMO. Trouble is, it came out with the body of a ferret 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3837 I can't wait to show it to my granddaughter. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3838 Had to lie perfectly still for nineteen hours in a flowery meadow to make that shot. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3839 What's this? My little phony? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3840 It was her eyes, I think, that spoke to me. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3841 That one was the easiest. It was in my garden. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3842 "Took me three spells and two wand waves to bag this baby"! 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3843 There was that time back in college when I experimented with big gay hunting. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3844 I keep the virgin in the basement. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3845 I bagged him at the Central Park Carousel. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3846 So much for the claim that there were no unicorns. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3847 Here we have my most valuable trophy, right next to the unicorn. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3848 I got this one on a trip a few years back. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3849 Wait until you see the humpty back camel 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3850 It’s quite the accomplishment, but is anyone else confused that Jim keeps referring to it as a homosexual rhino? 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3851 The children asked me to give up hunting. I said 'after one last kill.' 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3852 He claims no virgins were involved 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3853 Talk shit -- get hit 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3854 Even rarer to find a virgin! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3855 I couldn’t believe it either. I was hunting snipe! 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3856 I won that from Peter S. Beagle. Straight flush. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3857 My neighbor, in the apartment next door said he was drilling a hole for a TV wall mount, but then gave up and said I could just keep the drill bit. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3858 So it turned out rainbow dash was not a distance runner 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3859 Of course they exist! You can see it with your own eyes. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3860 Actually, that one was in the garden. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3861 It took a bit of doing but we nailed it on the back lot of Universal Studios 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3862 Now the story behind this one is something magical... 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3863 A real disappointment... the meat tastes just like chicken. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3864 Unicorns are real, and so is 2nd amendment 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3865 Martha we need gun control. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3866 Who’s the mythical magical one now!?! 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3867 And thats our old mare horsing around in a Holloween hat 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3868 My daughter bagged that one. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3869 To be fair, I don't like the other two, either. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3870 Who would have thought? But stranger things are happening every single day. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3871 I salvaged it from an old merry-go-round — far and away my best hunting story. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3872 It was magical for a while. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3873 I must admit I may have been under the influence of some psychotropic drugs at the time. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3874 Looks like Republicans are changing their views on diversity. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3875 It’s a Howard Miller. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3876 I've the rainbow too... but my accountant said that I would need to declare it so I keep it in my garage. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3877 Unihorn rolls off the tongue so much better than Unicorn. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3878 I wore this one in the Mardi Gras parade. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3879 The only one ever sighted; so of course I shot it! 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3880 It was a clean shot, 250 yards from the Comic-Con mezzanine. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3881 I bagged that one on a fake hunting trip with Trump Jr. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3882 Got that one at my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3883 The middle specimen is on loan from Don Jr.'s endangered species collection. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3884 It's purely decorative." 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3885 Who says life isn't all unicorns and rainbows? 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
3886 The eyes are brown, but other than that it’s pretty rare. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3887 It's missing a horn, but I still like it. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3888 It seemed like a better idea at the time. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3889 My daughter became a vegetarian. This is her way of critiquing my lifestyle choices. 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3890 Because of that my young daughter never spoke to me again 1.2121 0.05424 99 84 9 6
3891 Well, lads, it was the '60s. By chance, I joined the Merry Pranksters' Hunting Safari ... 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3892 And here we have the most interesting roadkill I ever scraped up. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3893 He truly was a unicorn. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3894 Yep, I bagged him with unishot! 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3895 Well it isn't endangered. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3896 It was at the Mardi Gras. She was wearing this as a costume. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
3897 Amazing what they can do with 3-D printing these days. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3898 I wish there wasn't a no selfie policy here. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
3899 Hardest part was getting through Magic Rainbow customs. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
3900 I finally feel secure in my masculinity. 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
3901 And this one, quite sadly, was the result of an errant tee shot into the tall grass during a golfing trip to Scotland. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3902 Ah, our goodwill hunting expedition! 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3903 To answer your question, that is why this is a 'No Daughters Room'. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3904 My niece's boyfriend works for Pruitt Taxidermy. I have a bald eagle in the library. 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
3905 I had to endure a 2 hour train ride with a bunch of brats, fight off giant spiders and had to chose between this and a centaur, but I think it was worth all of that! 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3906 It feels as it were yesterday; it was a hot day in a place called Disneyland... 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
3907 I know somebody caught it, but I don't believe in unicorns. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
3908 Rather than debate its mythical beginnings, anyone up for a game of ring toss? 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3909 As soon as Trump relaxed the trophy import ban on these guys, I was like, who needs elephant tusks. 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
3910 I was aiming for a handsome Gnu, but this creature took the bullet for him. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3911 Just couldn't stop in time--was like a piñata filled with glitter and gumdrops... 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3912 The others ones are from Swaziland, but this one I bagged in LaLaLand 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3913 I don't know what's worse: faking one or killing one. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
3914 And he expects us to believe that the others are real??? 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
3915 What a shame. That would have been a great spot for an Ultra High Def TV. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
3916 She said she came a magic land, and asked me to make a wish. 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
3917 If there IS a next time, we're just going to swim with the Mermaids. My daughter still won't talk to me. 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
3918 I bagged this one at the carnival. 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
3919 I love a singularity. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
3920 My daughter is very upset with me. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3921 It was no big deal. If you’ve bagged one, you’ve bagged them all. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3922 At first I was terrified. I thought I had shot someone's horse. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3923 Needless to say my kids do not support my passion for hunting 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3924 She’s appearing in The Real Trophy Wives Of New York City next season! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3925 You'll notice I didn't shoot it for the ivory. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3926 I was lucky - the current Administration shrank the Endangered Species List. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3927 I'd give my left nut to hear its death rattle again. Sweet! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3928 Of course, I bagged that one in Silicon Valley. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3929 I guess I can finally lose my virginity now. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3930 "This was a gift from the President and his son 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3931 Bagged it in Silicon Valley just before it went on Endangered Species list. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3932 If you like this one, you should see the baby seals I have in the other room. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3933 Never play leapfrog with a unicorn 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3934 I made a killing on a leveraged buyout of a carousel company. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3935 You can only imagine where I had to go to find her. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3936 I bought it on line... 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3937 Even without the rainbows, that last safari would still have been pure magic. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3938 The grandkids don't understand. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3939 This one was fired from the Trump Administration. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3940 I bagged that one at Disneyland. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3941 My first wife was a flat earth believer. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3942 Just a little reminder that magic is bullshit. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3943 Why yes, I do know exactly when the magic died. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3944 Bagged that one on the trip to Fantasy Island 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3945 The wife bagged that outside Esalen in "67. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3946 So I hear they may be eliminating mythology from the curriculum next year. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3947 A trophy from when he last tripped? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3948 This one I accidentally hit while riding my magic carpet. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3949 Sadly, this one was just a cosplay. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3950 Everyone has a "unicorn." Mine happened to be an actual unicorn. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3951 I like killing animals, as you can see. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3952 That carousel beast never say it coming. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3953 Point well taken! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3954 As it turned out, I was right and Evelyn — my late ex-wife — was wrong; there was indeed a unicorn in the garden. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3955 Turns out it was full of glitter. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3956 To think it was once worth a billion dollars 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3957 And here's one I bagged with my Fantasy Hunting League. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3958 That was the day I drank the Kool-Aid. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3959 I guess one horn toots better than two 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3960 Real hunters use a rainbow and arrow. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3961 The fake news says they are mythical. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3962 It's always been my dream to bag one of these. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3963 Yeah,,,,My granddaughter is pretty upset. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3964 He just looked naked without it. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3965 The strangest thing ... when I shot him invading my grandsons birthday party, the bottom half ran off. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3966 I met Lindsay on the dating site, but I misunderstood. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3967 I took my four-year-old grandaughter hunting with me and she really took to it. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3968 I merely had to follow the cotton candy trail to the rainbow. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3969 Well, it was either this or the Medusa. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3970 Yes, well unfortunately the Millennial got away. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3971 Next year I'm going to get a Sasquatch. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
3972 As it turns out, my wife had something else in mind. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3973 I shot this one during my safari through Silicon Valley 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
3974 He was a rare find. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
3975 Well, Walt, she’s not as controversial as Cecil. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
3976 My granddaughter helped. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
3977 My granddaughter was very upset with me. 1.2079 0.05324 101 86 9 6
3978 If I told you I bagged that one during a stampede you'd think I was fabricating a myth. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
3979 In battle it was known as the eunuch horn. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
3980 I'd think there would have to be at least two more, somewhere. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3981 Bagged him, before it was an endangered species 1.2062 0.05471 97 83 8 6
3982 I bagged this one at Woodstock! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3983 It's a shame she isn't smiling. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
3984 In Fake NewzZealand 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
3985 ... of course, not everybody sees the point. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3986 That is nothing, you should see the Minotaur in the other room! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3987 Got this one back when I was a virgin. 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
3988 To This Day Jack's Grandkids still won't speak to him. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3989 Well, it wasn’t a tough shot. He was all alone in a small corral. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
3990 So right AFTER I shot Cecil the lion… 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
3991 I still can't believe it. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3992 My wife left me after this one. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3993 The rest of it we made into unicornbread. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3994 I would hope that when I become extinct, someone from my family will remember me in just this way. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3995 It may look cute now but you should have seen it charge! 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
3996 That day, I proved that I was the TRUE legend. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3997 It was quite a fight. You should see the narwhal. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3998 Once I got into video gaming, I couldn't stop. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3999 He wasn't as horny as the others. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4000 My daughter didn’t speak to me for two weeks. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4001 Had to jump over rainbows to get the OK 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4002 Watching it die was magical. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4003 Born and raised in Portland, Oregon... 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4004 And for the piece de resistance: the sword in the stoned horse 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4005 Well, I told you unicorns were real 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4006 Her mother was always a rebel and mated outside her breed. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4007 Yeah, but my daughter is furious with me. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4008 It was the last one on Earth. You know Timmy, I just love exercising my Second Amendment rights. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4009 In this case, bringing it back alive would have been the better option. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4010 I hated to waste a bullet on something with only one horn. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4011 They told me the Black Rhino is “endangered” so I settled. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4012 While the Gazelle presented the normal challenge of high speed and erratic movement, it was hard to keep this very inquisitive single horned blighter at arms length so that I could get a shot off. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4013 her eyes did it in for me. It was the last shot I ever took. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4014 Our granddaughter still cries every time I tell the story ... 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4015 Hard to believe, I know, but Trump swears only He knows where to hunt these... 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4016 My kids still haven’t forgiven me. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4017 It makes me popular with the grandchildren. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4018 I bagged this beauty in the late 60s, as best as I can recall. 1.2043 0.05630 93 80 7 6
4019 Couldn't be sure it was real until I dropped him. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4020 This year, we successfully mounted an effort to increase gender expression diversity at the lodge. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4021 He was drinking water and got nailed by a narwhal. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4022 I bagged him right out from under Princess Eleanor! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4023 No, I did't shoot that one myself. I got it at a flea market. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4024 I used a silver bullet. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4025 I had to get really high to bag that one 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4026 Ugh, millennials. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4027 Well, yes, my daughters were very upset. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4028 Bagged him hiding behind a rainbow in a bunch of bubbles. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
4029 I'm at the top of the fantasy world's most wanted list. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4030 The hat was his idea 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4031 I bagged this one on my trip—to Disneyland. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4032 But I'm sure there are plenty more out there. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4033 Got this one on my first virtual reality hunt. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4034 I got a tip on where to find this one from my daughter's fairy tale book. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4035 I had to use a caramel macchiato as as bait to get that one. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4036 And when we got to where the rainbow met the horizon, there was literally hundreds of them prancing on the clouds. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4037 It was so beautiful, I just had to shoot it. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
4038 It bled in rainbow. 1.2043 0.05630 93 80 7 6
4039 Was aiming for My Little Pony but got her instead. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4040 I shopped that one in a bar in The East Village. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4041 At least he took down the leprechaun. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4042 Once he went public, he didn't have a chance. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4043 Pulled up lame in the final stretch. I had no choice. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4044 I think the unicorn just blinked. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4045 That one was hunted and shot by Eric and Don Jr. at one of their Dad's golf courses. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4046 Abby was worried that no one in her class would believe her. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4047 I barely outbid my granddaughter for this baby 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
4048 Well, I did have to part with a few grand and one of Nana's old rings to get the hobbit to take me out on the reserve. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4049 I thought it was a horse wearing a party hat. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4050 Hard to believe, I know. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4051 I sent the other half to Cambridge Analytica 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4052 " Of course they exist; do you think i am making this stuff up"? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4053 The two horn variety is even rarer 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
4054 Surprisingly easy to find on Halloween. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4055 Hardest part of the hunt was getting him off the merry-go-round after I shot him. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4056 I fell for her when she winked at me in the garden. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4057 It's a rotten world. Our eyes met and we fell in love the moment before I killed her. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
4058 The trick is the strychnine-laced candy cane bait. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4059 Blind shot actually. I was cleaning my gun. Never really saw it till it collapsed. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
4060 I really don't understand hunting. What's the point? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
4061 It's been a while. I really don't remember where it was. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
4062 It was the only one of the species, so of course, I couldn't help but kill it before someone else did! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
4063 I bagged it on my trip to Hogwarts. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
4064 I got the one in the middle in Silicon Valley. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4065 My one trip to Silicon Valley 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4066 I'll let you draw your own conclusions. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4067 Behold, gentlemen, the hunting club’s first trophy, right off the ark. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4068 And she swore she never had any work done. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4069 Yep, that was the last unicorn. And they say he's tapped to be the next Secretary of the Interior. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4070 My grandkids like him for ring toss. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4071 Well, he DID say he had a rare collection. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4072 Shot that one on a carousel 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4073 With no more need for a press briefing room, it is temporarily housing the president's menagerie. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4074 No one saw it coming 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4075 Well, I guess, in retrospect. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4076 Maybe I shouldn't have killed it but now people will believe me. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4077 Some guys do fantasy football; I'm into fantasy hunting. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4078 This one, I shot her on my last acid trip. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4079 If only it had believed in itself. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4080 I bagged the one in the middle while at a full gallop on My Little Pony. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4081 Which of yo u is James Thurber? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4082 It’s just a placeholder until I get a rhinoceros. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4083 And that's how I became strong enough to make my fourth horcrux. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4084 It’s a sugar cone. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4085 I found this lovely creature under a rainbow smelling like lavender and caramel. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4086 Believe it or not, I bagged this one-point buck with only a handful of sprinkles and a rainbow-and-arrow. 1.2021 0.05574 94 81 7 6
4087 Tell me again about your recent vacation... 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4088 And I bagged that one last year at my granddaughter's birthday party. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4089 I shot this one with a rainbow. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4090 You won't believe the story about this one. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4091 Yeah, it's real. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4092 He was quite a raconteur. He told me this big fish story about how he killed an elephant. Of course I caught him. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4093 Now there's none left. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4094 I'm not blind Charles! All I said was "that deer head in the middle would be worth more money if it had two horns..." 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4095 Green alligators, long-necked geese, now this! 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
4096 I bagged this one while tripping on LSD in college. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4097 His body? Otherworldly, I tell you. And what a sense of humor. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4098 The genie gave me one wish. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4099 Look at that and tell me they aren't real ... weren't real. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
4100 The taxidermist charged me a fortune to glue on the horn. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4101 Clearly, this one lacked the ability to fly. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
4102 The previous owner just left that one behind when he sold the house to me. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4103 I got it on the cheap. The Queen of Hearts had just 'off with his head'. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4104 Oh, that's just a stuffed toy for the grandkids. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
4105 I can’t keep it at my house, my daughter would never speak to me again. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
4106 I killed the instagramer too! 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
4107 Yes it was hard shooting her, but she looked so stuck-up. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
4108 Trophy hunter's stab at Trompe-l'oeil? 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
4109 The rainbow I shot is still at the taxidermist. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
4110 I find this kind of display too crude... leaves nothing to the imagination. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
4111 Stay still, maybe they won't notice us 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
4112 I'm not so sure it's the loveliest of all. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
4113 It wasn't until later that I noticed his party hat. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
4114 Not so magical if I was able to add her to my wall. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
4115 I sure wouldn't call that intelligent design. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
4116 It was a fantastic safari. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
4117 When the hell did Joe go to Iran? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
4118 She was the last one. I like to think I brought a lonely, childless life to a fitting conclusion. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
4119 Did I ever tell you about my lost weekend with Tom Wolfe? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
4120 You won't believe the story behind this one! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
4121 And they said it couldn't be done. 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
4122 I think it's fine, but I'll have to have a talk with my daughter. 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
4123 They told me you had to be a virgin to catch one, so I shot it. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
4124 You say unicorn, I say one-point horse. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
4125 That one is from my safari to Disney World! 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
4126 I'm not sure, but I think this is us winning at NAFTA 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4127 My little pony is a surprise for my granddaughter. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4128 Bob won his fantasy hunting pool? 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
4129 Making America great again. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4130 Reminds me of my late MaryBeth, just prettier, kinder and more natural. Oh, and much sweeter, of course. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4131 I traded for the unicorn; gave Don, Jr. & Eric some magic immunity beans. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4132 Actually I nabbed that one the traditional way by wooing him with a virgin 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4133 They think I’m dead.... I’m magical bitch!!! 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
4134 From my safari in Equestria. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4135 Wow! This is UNREAL! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4136 Her other horn broke off during the scuffle. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4137 Ok. To be honest, it's not real. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
4138 Our company believes in complete diversity. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4139 I bagged that one when my granddaughter opened a box of that fairy tale breakfast cereal. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4140 I bagged that one before Wakanda joined the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
4141 I wonder if it actually pooped rainbows. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
4142 My daughter had the middle one mounted for me as my Father's Day gift. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
4143 I got that on Amazon Prime. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
4144 And I bagged this one on my last trip to Equestria. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
4145 who gnu it would still be legal. 1.1978 0.05463 91 78 8 5
4146 It was a magical moment. 1.1978 0.05682 91 79 6 6
4147 Tom did say he would get a head in style. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4148 I thought it was just a skinny rhino... 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
4149 I bagged that one at a ‘My Little Pony’ convention. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4150 I was lucky, it wasn't on the "Endangered List". 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4151 Bagged this one in Hello Kitty-land; the safari guide was a leprachaun named Doug. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4152 "As you can see, it's a myth that it's a myth. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4153 Of course, the unicorn didn't exist until I glued the horn on one of my horses. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4154 Further proof that reality is whatever you want it to be. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4155 I don't believe it! The eyes really follow you... 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4156 It's kind of scary what they can do with the new crispr gene technology. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4157 I was aiming for the zebra, but I was blinded by the rainbow. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4158 This one put the ‘buck’ in Starbucks. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
4159 This one came in white. 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
4160 Confidentially, was my daughter's pony and a fake horn. Two birds, one stone. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4161 Oh that one is Theranos... 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
4162 How can I submit a caption when I can't see the whole picture? 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
4163 You try to bag a pony on the Coney Island Merry-go-round!" 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
4164 My granddaughter bagged that one at pre-school. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
4165 It's actually just a horse. The horn and eyelashes were added by the taxidermist. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4166 This is my trophy trophy. 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
4167 Our last safari was to the Land of Rainbows. Fantastic! But I had some explaining to do clearing customs. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4168 It's actually from a carousel but I wanted to fill in the blank space after removing my ex-wife. The way her eyes kept following me around the room was giving me the creeps. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4169 The hardest part was convincing those crooked game wardens that it's a fake. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
4170 Shot this one at a Halloween party just last year. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
4171 It reminds me of my first billion dollar startup. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
4172 The taxidermist was fantastic 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
4173 I knew it! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
4174 It was really a fantastic shot! 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
4175 I like it. It's corny, not horny. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
4176 I was half asleep when I shot that one. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
4177 I only bagged that one to annoy my liberal wife. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
4178 You should've seen the one that got away. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
4179 I heard they found it while they were staying at Lake Loch Ness... 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4180 Here is the latest in my "Crimes against Mythical Nature" trophies! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4181 Rare? Oh, yes. They say they go for over a billion dollars in Silicon Valley. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4182 I threw this one in for the people who don't like real animals heads. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4183 He’s a Picasso version! 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4184 They're rare, y'know 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4185 It was a hard catch. It blended with the rainbow. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4186 I figured I better kill it just to be safe. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4187 As I've said, "Millennials ruin everything." 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4188 Of course I bagged him back before my transition, I was still a virgin... 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4189 I think that one came out of the "Lucky Charms" box. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4190 It looks so great it makes me want to believe: I call it "Obamacare." 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4191 ...and then I said, quixotic my ass! 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4192 I think this one is not as horny 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4193 ...and good eating, too. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4194 I shot her with my thumb and finger. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4195 The unicorn is a lighthearted attempt by Margaret to make fun of my passion. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4196 Nope, I speared it through the ass 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4197 I swam with mermaids and danced with fairies so this was naturally next. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4198 The taxidermist was also an aesthetician. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4199 Yeah I got the last one alive on earth, right between the eyes. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4200 It was frolicking on the White House lawn.... 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4201 I wasn't going to pull the trigger but I was afraid I'd never see a clock like that again! 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4202 By 'unicorn hunting' I thought you meant you were in venture capital. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4203 A trip to the moon on gossamer wings ... It was just one of those things... 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4204 Some people were upset because it's endangered, but we donated the meat to the local elves. Plus, the proceeds of the hunt go to fighting the black magic unicorn horn market. Everybody wins. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4205 While on safari in Fantasy Land I took aim at Bigfoot when this noble creature jumped in to save him. I felt the need to commemorate him somehow. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4206 It was a toss-up, and the Cyclops lost; so, we hung him in my man cave. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4207 I've gotten really into fantasy hunting. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4208 My last expedition was truly mythological. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4209 Sometimes I hang my keys on the horn. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4210 I’m not impressed. They used rainbow blinds and marshmallow feeders. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4211 Honestly, from the ad I really thought I was getting a white rhino. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4212 A shame, I know. I was aiming for the gryphon. Aside from that though, the Sixties were a great decade. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4213 I caught this one in Shangri La with my Wonder Woman lasso 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4214 My wife suggested that I add a little more color to the room. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4215 As you will notice, the one in the center has a unique horn. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4216 I can't see it. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4217 Of course she’s less horny than the stag. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4218 Well that took care of another endangered myth 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4219 Dotty bagged that one on a couples fantasy weekend we went on while dating back in the late '60s. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4220 Yes, one Unicorn did exist at one time. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4221 People are funny. Hated it before. Ooh, that poor horse, they would say. You're a monster! Added a unicorn horn and, presto chango, all I get are compliments. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4222 He wouldn't look so unappreciative if he knew what an honor the center spot was. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4223 ... and then, a week later, they passed the Endangered Species Act. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4224 I thought those steaks tasted funny. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4225 I am not sure I can trust our host. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4226 I hope neither of you is one of whose who say they see something hanging there in the middle. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4227 Just a campaign donation, then he's a freebie at Trump safari resort. 1.1932 0.05796 88 77 5 6
4228 This has always been my fantasy. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4229 My Granddaughter nailed that one. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4230 Sasquatch was riding her, but he got away. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4231 When the wife said she bagged a unicorn I was overjoyed. ...And then this thing showed up. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
4232 No, it came with the kid's ringtoss game. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4233 I told Customs it's a fancy rhinoceros. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4234 Some primitive peoples still use unicorn horns in traditional medicines. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4235 guns are guns are guns are guns are guns 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4236 The ones on either side I bagged in Africa. The one in the center I found on Sand Hill Road, in Silicon Valley. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4237 We've seen everything so we know how to cover everything. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
4238 ...back then hunting unicorns was legal. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4239 When I asked for a Unicorn I meant a trendy cup of coffee. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4240 It was the last one, I had to. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
4241 The hardest part was finding a virgin to use for bait. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4242 I bagged this one on a trip to my daughter's room. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
4243 Goes best with Syrah. 1.1915 0.04351 94 77 16 1
4244 They were too trusting, and now they're extinct. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4245 One of you is next 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4246 He was riding a unicycle when I bagged him! 1.1910 0.04190 89 72 17 0
4247 That was some trip, Boy! Donald Jr. and I were just down by the Nile and out she popped being ridden by Andy! 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4248 Of all the horned creatures, this really is the one you want to have 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4249 Son, when I said you should start investing in unicorns, this isn’t what I meant. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4250 Yes, I bagged it just before it went public. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4251 Let me guess... Donald Trump, Jr. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4252 Yeah, Don Jr. doesn't have a thing on me. 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
4253 A bit corny, isn't it? 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4254 Our our safari we paid for the endangered species supplement. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4255 Biggest booze night of my hunting career! 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4256 Well, it WAS the last unicorn... 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4257 Bagged him the week before the assault weapon ban took effect! 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4258 Trump just signed an executive order classifying this as an endangered species. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4259 You're not going to believe this.... 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4260 J. K. Rowling gave authorization to cull the herd. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4261 Its fake news. 1.1910 0.05734 89 78 5 6
4262 It’s like the Mona Lisa. No matter where you stand, her horn follows you. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4263 I won’t tell you what I was on when I bagged that one. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4264 Princess Barbie's Magic Kingdom keeps pestering me about this one but I'm not budging. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4265 This one is for having survived my granddaughters’s fourth birthday party. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4266 Yes amigos, I AM quite the showman in our alt-life as well. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4267 An unfortunate ricochet, actually. 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
4268 Next a black swan 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4269 That's a window. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4270 I got that one on Candy Mountain 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4271 Gnu? Gno. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4272 At first I lowered my gun...then thought, what the Hell, these things aren't on the endangered species list. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4273 That is my aspirational trophy. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4274 Jimmy took a beating for this one on twitter 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4275 I bagged that one in my granddaughter's bedroom. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4276 All I need to do is add a mermaid and my collection will be complete. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4277 My daughter wanted to decorate too. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4278 Now there no unicorns. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4279 I believe by hunting them we're actually helping them to survive. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4280 She galloped in on a rainbow, promising eternal salvation, but the thrill of the hunt was too strong, boys... 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4281 They said that if I found him, he would teach me the secret of friendship. But I already had you guys. So there he is. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4282 I brought this back from the running of the unicorns. 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
4283 I'm holding out for a normal one with two horns. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4284 It was a magical experience. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4285 " You guys should see what's on the other side of the wall ". 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
4286 YOU LOOK BETTER IN THE TAPESTRY 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4287 I'm beginning to think there was something extra special in Tom's 'special punch'. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4288 Bagged him on safari in Brigadoon back in '54. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4289 Clearly, the @MeToo movement is taking on new challenges. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4290 Where did you bag the unicorn? The my little pony aisle? 1.1910 0.05734 89 78 5 6
4291 I shot him in the garden. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
4292 Actually, they're not as rare as you'd think. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4293 I guess it was small-minded to think gays didn't go big game hunting. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
4294 I knew it was endangered, but it enhances the decor. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
4295 Everybody thought they did not exist. Well, Now they don’t – now they are extinct. 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
4296 Without doubt, you are "The Prince of Poachers". 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4297 Teddy Roosevelt must be turning over in his grave. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4298 . . . and the one in the center is from Coachella, 2015. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4299 In your dreams. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4300 My granddaughter Emma bagged that one when we were at Happyland last summer. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4301 No, it's fake, but I hate my daughter. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4302 What an odd thing to have in a dentist's office... 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
4303 I consider myself a taxidermy disrupter. For this Unicorn I styled the mane after 80's hair bands and the smokey eye, my wife. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4304 Some of it still felt real even after the drug wore off. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4305 ...so the whole family is at this great hunting lodge in Alaska and they have this kids’ program. That day we signed Chloe up... 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4306 She was off by herself in the gloaming. 1.1889 0.05450 90 78 7 5
4307 They said it in your dreams, but there it is. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4308 This one I caught in an '80s trip. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4309 I question the gene pool 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4310 Got her with a thumb and a finger. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4311 and on the other side of this door... 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4312 The merry go round was never quite the same afterwards 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
4313 You should've seen the one that got away. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
4314 I traded a stuffed Jackalope for it. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4315 In my effort to diversify, I bagged this baby recently. 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
4316 The two-horn unicorn is even rarer. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4317 It just didn't look right at the bottom of my garden 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4318 Gentlemen, behold my greatest kill yet: the whims and fantasies of my stepchildren. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4319 Africa,my daughter’s 10th birthday party, Africa. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4320 Yes, a bit cruel, but it was they only way to break little Emily's addiction to My Little Pony. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4321 ...so I needed to bag it before they went extinct. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
4322 Well boys, that middle one was quite a rascal. I bagged him in Fairyland before he tried to sprinkle me with pixie dust. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
4323 Actually, it wasn’t that difficult. A lot of bad companies attract too much VC funding. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4324 That's either an "alternative fact" or "opposing truth." 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4325 I was hunting for a Narwhal but I bagged this thing instead 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4326 And the next weekend I lost my virginity. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4327 I bagged this beauty on my safari to the deep state in the summer of '16. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4328 I shot that one back in the day. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4329 Sure the granddaughter cried inconsolably, but doesn't it look great up there! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4330 It was a gift from Donald Trump Jr. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4331 It's the last of its kind. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4332 It's not every day you get to put a species into extinction. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4333 That one got caught in the crossfire as we gunned down our ideals. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4334 Y'know, horses are a dime a dozen. But narwhals? That took some looking. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4335 Took the family down to Disney, went huntin' too 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
4336 Likely a phony, but was a bargain. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4337 So, Noah says to me that it's either the humpty backed camel, a chimpanzee, or this lovely creature. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4338 Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4339 I didn’t think it was possible either, but Kanye really said slavery sounded like a choice. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4340 It's always been a fantasy of mine to bag one of those. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4341 And I bagged the middle one back in '73 on a trip to the Neverlands. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4342 It scares the hell out of the grandchildren. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4343 Tastes like chicken with a little rainbow and glitter. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4344 Like to have never found a virgin with a pure heart as a guide. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4345 If these are specimens from his hunting days, I think we have an incidence of reincarnation. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4346 You know that Disney World isn’t a hunting reserve, right? 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4347 Well now THAT one was quite a story... 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4348 This one I hit with my car. 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
4349 Bagged this one in my own private Shangri La. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4350 I may have to skip the next BronyCon. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4351 "The horse got horny so I had to mount it." Adrian genetically engineered unicorns, murdered one, and learned taxidermy just to make that terrible joke. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4352 They all look the same in the next room. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4353 I call him Viagra. 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
4354 ??...there were green alligators...?? 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4355 Adhering to our zero waste policy, after we harvest the snot, we taxidermy the head. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4356 You know when I married Bambi everyone said she was too young for me. But I think she added a certain whimsy to my life. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4357 In those days, the fascination of investment banking as a career depended wholly on whether you were at the right or wrong end of the IPO. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4358 My daughter will never forgive me, but they seem to be everywhere here in the Bay Area. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4359 The real unicorn here is that I’m not even a hunter 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4360 Say all you want about ideals. I see a very horny guy with a gun. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4361 “Despite the Karmic debt I incurred, my granddaughter was thrilled”. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4362 If I could have, I would have mounted the rainbow as well. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4363 Fake. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4364 They call it the 'narwhal of the land.' 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4365 Yeah, I hear he had some pretty strange trips in his hippie days 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4366 In retrospect, the bragging rights aren't worth the cost, but what's done is done! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4367 Well they swallowed the whole “clean coal” thing..... 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4368 I was going to let it go, but I'd be damn if some other dentist got instead me. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4369 Yes, Hadlee got that one with her birthday Mauser. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4370 It was an experience like I’ve never had 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4371 Do you know how rare a one pointer is??? 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4372 "I thought you said you hunted down a "wild accordion". 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4373 I know, but it seemed like a unique opportunity at the time 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4374 . . . and I got that one down on Bleecker Street. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4375 Well, wait 'til you see what's in the next room. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4376 It’s not from hunting. It’s from investing! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4377 Leave it to a Darwin descendant to prove it. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4378 Trump says he got that one with a crossbow 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4379 I have one of those. The women love it. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4380 This was my ex wife’s favorite pet. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4381 I, for one, recognize with the Bull." "I, myself, recognize with the Buck." "Well, I guess that leaves me as the old Queer in the middle. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4382 She wondered if I listened to Pink Floyd. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4383 My daughter got that just before she vanished without a trace. 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
4384 Oh. I thought you were referring to the clock. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4385 I did the taxidermy myself. She was impressive in the wild, "last of her kind" and all, but nothing as impressive as this. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4386 And now she really is my little pony. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4387 It may look pretty now but it was really mean when I tried to kill it. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4388 My youngest daughter got that one 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4389 I posted that an hour ago and it already has three views. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4390 And I bagged this one last year on my excursion to Silicon Valley. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4391 I could hardly believe it when I shot him. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4392 Yep, I bagged that one in Palo Alto. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4393 But the wig isn't orange! Can't be a POTUS 1.1860 0.05612 86 75 6 5
4394 I'm told it was the last monohorn 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4395 This was even more gratifying than shooting endangered species. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4396 It was an unbelievable shot. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4397 It was my best imaginary shot. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4398 Tastes like elasmotherium. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4399 I bagged that one back in '04 during my dream sequence. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4400 ...and I shot this one in the land of Hasbro. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4401 I hope you won't be offended, but - to be honest - I was always more of a Teletubbies fan 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4402 It was the only one in the world......and I killed it for your pleasure. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4403 Don, that’s one corny trophy you’ve got there 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4404 I had no choice after he turned down the merry-go-round job. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4405 I bagged this one at Universal Studios back-lot. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4406 Took forever to peg that one 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4407 Yeah, that's pretty Insta-worthy. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4408 I raised my rifle. She shrugged. In the end I shot her out of pity. A lonely heart I think. She clearly had lost someone. Don't call me a hero. I'm just a man with grit and the gumption to do what's right. Aw, heck, you can call me a hero. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4409 That's my first billion dollar startup. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4410 no luck with that unicorn, after him I met Heather 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4411 Thusly I've ensured I'll never have to listen to Justin Bieber in my house ever again 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4412 It felt like a dream when I bagged this one! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4413 Do you think they hear Yanny or Laurel? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4414 They said it could not be found but we found it. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4415 My guide said it was the only one, and I hated my dental practice... 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4416 I bagged him right next to the brass ring. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4417 My chupacabra helped me track it down. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4418 It came right at me from behind the rainbow. I took it down with fairy dust. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4419 I'm very proud of getting the last one. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4420 You have quite an imagination! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4421 My daughter was scared of the narwhal, so we dressed it up. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4422 I actually prefer them from the feedlot. Not as gamey. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4423 Ah, yes... A memento from my last ill-fated investment scheme. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4424 Here I thought "killing a unicorn" was just a euphemism. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4425 I was on LSD when I bagged that one. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4426 Roughly translated? “One corn.” 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4427 Believe it or not, they're brothers from the same mother. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4428 I found that one lurking in a closed amusement park hiding among horses and pigs who were all drawn up in a circle. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4429 It was mythic 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4430 I beat Donald, Jr. and Eric to the draw. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4431 from our Lost Horizon vacation. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4432 Great work by the studios prop shop 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4433 I got it on the black market. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4434 I bagged the middle one at a Dead concert in'68. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4435 ... and that ended me questioning my sexuality. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4436 The reality of a ‘mythical’ horn piercing my real heart won the day. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4437 Indigenous to Mara Lago, a small area in the northern hemisphere and extinct until 2016. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4438 I got this one in Silicon Valley 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4439 I bagged this S.O.B in the Friendship of Equestria. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4440 No, I was unaware that they're endangered. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have herds of them. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
4441 Shot this one just outside of Disneyland 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4442 They're good eating too! 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4443 I’m going after Bigfoot next. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4444 It's actually paper-mache. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4445 and that's why they arent around anymore... 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4446 I told her we should go online unicorn-hunting to keep things interesting and she bought this on eBay. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4447 She’s from Carousel. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
4448 I shot this beauty last spring, great little hunting spot right through my wardrobe. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4449 No matter the number of virgins he attracted, he never lost the name "Spike". 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4450 It gave Donald two wishes. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4451 I caught this one on Halloween 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
4452 Think it's real? 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
4453 The elusive one-point buck. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4454 My PH said might as well go ahead, it's the last one anyway. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
4455 My daughter was not happy... 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4456 I bagged him on crisp Febuary 30th, on plains of Atlantis. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
4457 As the calliope played on,the one-horned beast rose up and down while encircling me... 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
4458 It was New Year's Eve. and I missed the pink elephant but I got the unicorn! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4459 I think the taxidermist scammed me 1.1839 0.05551 87 76 6 5
4460 the claims he was aiming at the yeti. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4461 Was this arranged according to ethnicity or ideology? 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4462 Got drunk one night when I was in college and stole it from a carousel. Kept it, though, because I think it adds a bit of magic to my collection. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4463 This one almost flew away. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4464 I feel like it’s eyes are following me. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4465 Had to lay perfectly still in a flowery meadow for nineteen hours to make that shot. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4466 No, I certainly wouldn't have had I known how rare they are. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4467 So tragic: she died of a glitter overdose. 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
4468 And I bagged this bad boy at Disneyland. 1.1839 0.05551 87 76 6 5
4469 I bagged the contract on the next Trump hotel when I saw her on the savanna herding Donald Jr. and Eric at horn-point like a pair of scared goats. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4470 Hell's pretty chilly now. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4471 She got tails in the divorce. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4472 The rainbow soft serve dispenser is on the other side of the wall. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4473 Hunting Season at The Cloisters was extended this year. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4474 I bagged the Gazelle and Water Buffalo in Africa." "I bought the Unicorn at a Hookah Bar in San Francisco. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4475 ....and this is the famous uni-horned goat.... 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4476 Oh, that story. It’s Legen...Wait For It...DARY! 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
4477 It is supposedly rare, but I never saw any others. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4478 And this one I hit with my car just outside Forks, Washington. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
4479 Yes, it's a rare carousel unicorn. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4480 It lacks a human element. 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
4481 I'm after a flying pig next. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4482 I should probably just lend the neighbors a stud finder. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
4483 Tom's horn is bigger 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
4484 I bagged this beauty on my most recent trip to Narnia. 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
4485 I'll take a bath on the IPO, but it's a great conversation piece. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
4486 This one predates Noah's ark. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
4487 To stand out from other trophy hunters, we decided to kill the animal that would have the most shock value. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4488 In your dreams. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4489 So I understand that the middle one's name is Ivanka 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4490 I thought it would brighten up the place. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4491 I bet its fake 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4492 Endangered, shmendangered! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4493 I've heard about them for years. But this is the first one I've actually seen 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4494 It took me 7237 rings around the rosie. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4495 So that’s where they end up when they miss the boat. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4496 the middle one will have to do until something better comes along 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4497 The trophy is no big deal. It's the 208,000 followers on her Instagram beauty channel. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4498 The rest of the bodies are still attached round the back in case somebody has trouble believing. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4499 A virgin captured him for me, but I had to let her go. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4500 The next one I bag will have three horns. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4501 And this is where I hang my keys. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4502 Needless to say, the women in the family, still don’t get the sport. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4503 It was a different kind of Disney park. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4504 Well, SO, it's a party hat. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4505 It's an art piece. I call it "The President's Humility" 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4506 I've always wanted a pony. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4507 Lisa Frank is a visionary taxidermist. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4508 The little girl got away. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4509 She was quoting Shakespeare. What else could I do? If I didn't pull the trigger, no one would've believed me. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4510 You can thank me for saving him from media hounds. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4511 This one, I hunted in the wilds of Coney Island. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4512 You've spent too much time with your kid. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4513 I made the one in the center on my 3-D printer. The image is no longer under copyright. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4514 My Granddaughter nailed that one. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4515 That was lala land 1973. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4516 He wasn't on the endangered species list. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4517 Fake is the big trend. Just so they can nail you to the wall! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4518 This side is better. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4519 "Bagged that one in Silicon Valley last December". 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4520 HE WAS ALWAYS CLAIMING THAT HE WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL!! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4521 I made the shot in the morning when the virgin left. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4522 For that one I had to go into the deepest, darkest part of the forest. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4523 That is certainly a unique horn ! 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4524 When the President said he bagged a unicorn,I thought it was more fake news. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4525 Cecil the Lion was small potatoes. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4526 so my understanding at the time was that it was worth a billion dollars 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4527 My six year old bagged that one. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4528 What kind of douche hunts a unicorn? I’m going to post a nasty comment on his Instagram. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4529 What makes it worse is that I don’t even like it. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4530 Circled back and bagged her on the Coney Island carousel. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4531 One of these things is not like the others One of these things just doesn't belong . . . 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4532 I bagged that one at the Pride Parade. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4533 Now I hunt solely in Squatty Potty commercials. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4534 And I bagged this one on a safari to Silicon Valley. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4535 My granddaughter got it. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4536 I wasn’t the fairest virgin, but I offered the best fringe benefits. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4537 I bagged that one with Excalibur. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4538 I’ll be the first to tell you, wildlife preservation is no fairy tale. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4539 My first IPO 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4540 If you thought PETA was upset about the water buffalo and antelope you should of heard them when they heard about this. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4541 My wife suggested a unicorn to spicen up our sex life. 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4542 Of course, it's not really sustainable. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4543 No bull, it was a once-in-a-lifetime hunt. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4544 If only she'd told me sooner that she was the last female on earth... 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4545 That one I bagged in the Enchanted Forest. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4546 Coney Island, 1979!" "If that gets out,I'll know the leaker 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4547 Yes, this is the one and only Super Unicorn. Here's looking at you, Mark Zuckerberg. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4548 In their world, our roles would be reversed. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4549 That safari was legendary. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4550 Yeah, I got this baby just after the ban on exotic and endangered animals was lifted. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4551 This one was a little difficult. He was moving around pretty fast, but I got a clean shot at him on that crowded carousel at last year's county fair. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4552 Not all that unique. They're rampant in Silicon Valley. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4553 The meat is considered a delicacy in Unicornia. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4554 It was billed as 'The Tough Love Safari.' I don't know - she was never quite the same after that. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4555 The grandkids were upset, but it was on my bucket list. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4556 I was a virgin when I captured him. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4557 I just didn't like the way he looked at me. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4558 This one's extinct now. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4559 It’s points to the gender neutral bathroom. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4560 I can see a few plastic surgeries have been performed. 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4561 I gave her time to put on her make-up. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4562 They say he was only two years old when he slew the Minotaur! 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4563 The first winner of the Neolithic Triple Crown. The horn helped. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4564 My wife thought it would look Presidential. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4565 Well, initially I thought it was just a vain horse. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4566 I got her right below the ribs with my 70-inch rainbow. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4567 Only in my wildest imagination did I ever dream of bagging that little beauty. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4568 Now that's a unique horn! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4569 Yeah, I know, but poaching is an important economic contributor in mystical forests. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4570 He used to visit my son, and shot him when they took him off the endangered species list. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4571 The Fantasy Safari was my granddaughter's idea, but she's not at all happy with the trophy I brought back. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4572 wHEN ALIVE, SHE ALWAYS LIKED WEARING THAT PAPER HORN! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4573 Bagged this one at the Lucky Charms factory. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4574 His Mother and Father never opened their eyes to his orientation. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4575 You'd think the one on the right would be outlawed before the one in the middle. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4576 That one bolted from the pride parade, but luckily I had my rifle in the Range Rover. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4577 I hunted once a long time ago on mescaline. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4578 Besides, they're probably overpopulated. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4579 Oh, I didn't shoot it. I ordered this thing at Starbucks. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4580 Yes, it was a shock. We didn’t realize we’d signed up for the NRA tour. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4581 Something tells me you're stretching the truth on this one. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4582 I must say, "when you said this will be the one!" you really meant it. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4583 I heard that if your heart is pure, it can answer any question in the universe. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4584 A broad streak of glitter runs in the veins of the Cadwaladers. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4585 Isn’t 3D printing amazing? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4586 And the one in the middle was part of my granddaughter’s Halloween costume from years ago – she wanted it preserved. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4587 Here lies twitter, the last of its kind. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4588 If he was is magical why doesn't he save himself? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4589 Just your run-of-the-mill North Korean big game trip... 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4590 Good thing they were just taken off the endangered species list. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4591 My thoughts exactly Dave", sheera she to ha. Wakamanagake left hand ball bag sag felt. "Yeah, chips ARE alright." "Chips everyone!" "Anybody for uni-corn salsa and cheese dip?" "Yeah, sure, but why the unicorn reference Chaz? Fuckin jackoff. 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4592 So long story short, I had to attack from behind instead of head on. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4593 It was my granddaughter who bagged that one. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4594 Actually, I started with fish in a barrel and worked my way up. 1.1807 0.05723 83 73 5 5
4595 It was a safari on Fantasy Island with my daughters. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4596 Most people try to hide that their childhood dreams were dead, not Fred. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4597 My daughter wasn't too happy about this one. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4598 I shot his one on a carousel on Martha's Vineyard. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4599 Actually, it tasted exactly like horse. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4600 Not sure of the gender of the one in the middle. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4601 The hard part was finding the virgin. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4602 Don Jr.'s girls quit talking to him right after this safari. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4603 It's true, when you break their necks they actually do shit rainbows. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4604 Hunting trips in Imaginationland are how they pay for conservation. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4605 I shot that one sliding down a rainbow into a pool of glitter. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4606 This one I accidentally hit on the way home from Burning Man. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4607 It was once my daughter's pet but turned out to just be a phase 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
4608 It was mocking me at my granddaugter's birthday party. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4609 When your wife asked for a unicorn, this wasn’t what she had in mind... 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4610 I think this will disprove the Irish Rovers once and for all. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4611 Botswana on the left, Wyoming on the right, Orlando in the middle. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4612 Transgender, I suspect. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4613 I shot that middle one, with the help of Donald Trump Jr. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4614 If it's a racial comment, I don't get the point. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4615 Extinct now, but was known as big dame hunting. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4616 Did they say it couldn't be done... or shouldn't? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4617 The flavor is kind of a cross between snow leopard and giant panda. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4618 That one is from my safari on the Fairygeti. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4619 How many folks live to shoot a Steer and a Unicorn? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4620 I lured her in with promises of marriage. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4621 Yep! It sure did exist. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4622 It’s a hot ticket for 2020. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4623 He bagged that one at a traveling carnival. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4624 Why's he so proud of a 1-point buck? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4625 I’m just glad to do my part for underpopulation control. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4626 I got it on safari in Silicon Valley. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4627 "I thought it was in the spirit of Fake News, surrounded by hate and confusion. I was resigned to shooting it even though I was pretty confused myself. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4628 It was the second to last. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4629 Luckily we bagged him before the poachers did . 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4630 I bagged this one last year on a trip to the magic kingdom. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4631 Used my daughter to bait this one in. Honestly, I'm surprised it worked. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4632 The import tax from Imagination Land isn’t as high as you’d think, but the paperwork was a mythical beast. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4633 I guess those "flashbacks" they warned me about when I was doing LSD in the 60s were true. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4634 It's said to be a symbol of chaste love and faithful marriage. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4635 We had a terrific guide! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4636 My eight year old daughter bagged it. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4637 I found her on Tinder. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4638 As real as tomato bisque in the middle ages. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4639 Those single-horned ones are twice as hard to kill as the double-horns. Go figure. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4640 Oh, there was such a big kerfuffle over making room for it at the zoo, I thought this was best. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4641 Of course the children of the Mystic Forest were horrified.... 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4642 ...And then we went to Etsy. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4643 The world turned gray and darker gray that day, I'm sad to say. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4644 No, in my mind that’s a rhino. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4645 Yup, right after the election in 2016. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4646 Yes, I managed to bag the last one... 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4647 The man who shot it was a complete fantasist. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4648 ...and that was the last time I saw my granddaughter. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4649 The horn didn't curl . but I shot it anyway. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4650 I bagged that one in my sleep. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4651 No more animals in the circus; and no more wooden animals on the carousel. What's next? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
4652 Hey, bronies like to hunt, too. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4653 Kinda brings a whole new vibe to this room, you know? 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4654 He was looking for love. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4655 I got that one right underneath a rainbow. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4656 My wife prefered a minotaur, but I like the single horn. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4657 She really was quite the little hunter before I brought that one home. 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
4658 She was one-in-a-lifetime--like with my trophy ex-wife. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4659 The one in the middle is one horn short of reality. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
4660 My granddaughter wasn't too happy about that one. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4661 Unfortunately, I shot it pre-IPO. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4662 I saw another one but it was just too fast. 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4663 The hardest part was tracking him. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4664 This one I got outside a circus,but I decided to keep him anyway. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4665 Magical creature, my ass. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4666 Which one should I use as a hood ornament? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4667 You see during the Recession they could only afford 1 horn. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4668 I shot it in Silicon Valley. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4669 Nothing says "hunting" like an AK47 with the large magazine clip 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4670 I felt guilty at first, but it really matches my new pillows. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4671 Can you imagine what this cartoon would look like if The New Yorker was printed in color! 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4672 I bagged her in 1961 on the singles weekend in the Catskill Mountains when I met your mother. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4673 It wasn't so fluffy 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4674 It was a beautiful shot. 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
4675 Oddly enough, there were no humpty-back camels. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4676 I swear it sometimes winks at me 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4677 Oh to the contrary. Unicorns did once roam the earth. Sadly this beauty here died in a freak jousting accident last year. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4678 And finally, my 3rd wife, Caitlyn, the last LGBT unicorn. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4679 Central Park. 1987. A lucky shot. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4680 The middle one was valued at one billion dollars. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4681 No, no … That was my daughter, a jump rope, and a magical moment gone awry. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4682 You get one once you reach platinum Brony status. 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4683 Now I have it all. First, I bagged my trophy wife and now quite possibly the last unicorn that was alive on earth. Life is grand. 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4684 But I did not shoot the deputy. 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
4685 Bagging the virgin was a nice bonus. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4686 It's true. It was a magical moment for me... 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4687 Fortunately, the horn isn't ivory. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4688 It's amazing what you can find in SkyMall these days. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4689 Mystical? Maybe. Mythical? Perhaps. Feisty? Thirty aught six. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4690 I shot it with My Little Winchester. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4691 I suspect the evolutionary tree will need a new 'mythological' branch. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4692 Yeah, I'm proud. So rare she might be the last of her kind. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4693 Of course the value’s decreased now that it’s out of the package, but it’s still rare. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4694 A prose between two horns 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4695 This one was hiding in my daughter's toy chest. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4696 All three of 'em ran at the wall at a helluva speed 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4697 Not much of a rack, but I took it anyway. As far as I know, I'm the only person who has one. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4698 Surprisingly, it tasted like chicken. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4699 I didn't like to do it, but Disney said they needed a live action Bambi Reboot. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4700 I shot this one in Oz. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4701 The stable's right behind. We can feed 'em directly without even leaving the living room this way. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4702 A Preview of What is to Come. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4703 We hunt for the benefit of the species. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4704 The white one looks like you, Bill. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4705 Got this guy at the amusement park last summer. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4706 Sure, anyone can fuck them after you shoot them; a true huntsman fucks them -then- shoots them. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4707 They really are real! 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4708 To be honest, it tasted like chicken. And the destruction of all that is magical in this world. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4709 Shooting her was easy. Getting to Equestria was the hard part. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4710 The genetically modified alfalfa caused the mutation, so I shot her. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4711 Like most of us he used to have a pair. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4712 I saw her dancing about, prancing and skipping around like she was all that. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4713 What can I say? I just had to have it! 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4714 They all have names. I call this one Randi because she only has Ayn horn. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4715 Twelve gauge shotgun. Why? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4716 I bagged that one during a dream I had one night. 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4717 Back in my youth they weren't so rare, I wonder what changed? 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4718 My taxidermist and I had a falling out. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4719 It was her birthday. 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
4720 Yeth, I wath very lucky with that one - I clothed my eyeth and bang! It was hit or myth. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4721 I lured it with my flying pigs. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4722 Surprisingly, it tasted just like griffin. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4723 ..and when I saw a double rainbow appear in the sky I knew it was a sign telling me what to do next. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4724 I combined my swordfish and my horse. My granddaughter says unicorns are on trend. 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
4725 Well, sure, it was a breathtakingly magical blessing of wonderment until, ya know, I shot her with the AR-15. 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
4726 It takes up much less room than our hydra trophy. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4727 My daughter wasn’t happy with that one. 1.1765 0.05595 85 75 5 5
4728 Shouldn't that be in the mythical section? 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4729 The little woman wanted some color. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4730 And this one has rainbow colors, a pretty horn and magic sprinkles. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4731 That day on the hunt--you would have thought we were transported to another world! 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4732 Of course the only one my wife nabs is front and center. 1.1765 0.05339 85 74 7 4
4733 This is a really weird mirror. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4734 The middle one is always the problem 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4735 Had to do it. One-horn LOSER! 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4736 Wait 'till you see my wife! 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4737 Yes, it could have been tamed by a qualified person, but they're way harder to find. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4738 I understand mounting it, but why put on a cone on the horses head? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4739 It was standing under a rainbow. I blew its hind quarters to bits. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4740 Oh no rudolf 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4741 Of course, the best part about summering Somewhere Over The Rainbow is the hunting. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4742 And they say that old men don't have an imagination. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4743 Turns out that trip was all rainbows and unicorns. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4744 She was a real horse’s ass. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4745 Sure the spiraling horn is magical, but those lashes and those eyes... 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4746 And this was my first mythical creature. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4747 That one was the easiest. It just stood there, staring at my gun in disbelief. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4748 I'm feeling horny. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4749 I caught that one in the late 90s, right before the dot-com bubble burst. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4750 It was listed as a white rhino -- I was the only bidder. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4751 Oh, that? That's just my little pony. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4752 You’re right, Jeff, but a rug may have created some liability issues. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4753 And to think it was pink too! 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4754 Father always wanted a girl. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4755 we won!!! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4756 I have a vivid imagination. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4757 Unfortunately I missed the Susquatch riding on him. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4758 I really wanted to pulverize it as an aphrodisiac, but Mary thought it would protect us from the plague if we left it intact. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4759 I shot him in a fiction of my imagination. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4760 I didn't know he was a unicorn with a name. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4761 Not very realistic is it ? 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4762 That must have been quite a trip. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4763 Embrace diversity! 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4764 I guess Pruitt will now succeed. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4765 ...and there's a beanstalk in the other room. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4766 The last one until I shot it. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4767 (Above) What Trump thinks his government looks like (Below) What Trump's government actually looks like 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4768 Amazing what they can do nowadays with cloning-now we can shoot all our favorite imaginary animals 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4769 Got that one in Orlando at a theme park. Funny, when I shot it, the head popped right off. Didn't even have to take to the taxidermist, I just mounted it and here it is! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4770 We realized that it would have probably been easier to attach the horn after we shot the horse 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4771 It was a Lifetime Channel Club safari. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4772 I was just so over rainbow this and rainbow that. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4773 I lost interest in hunting unicorns after putting money into Theranos 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4774 Really majestic creatures, Will. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4775 I was 6 and the merry-go-round slowed down just enough that I got him with my new bow and arrow. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4776 FYI, we don’t use the ‘U’ word around here. I’ve told Meg it’s a “thin-horned rhino”. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4777 . . . . Yes, that one was a dream shot! 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4778 It was a different world then, boys. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4779 You can call it ‘fake hunting’, but someone would say it is big and beautiful. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4780 I recall being horny most of the time. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4781 Yes, very tough. Took 4 pure virgins 60 rounds to take her down. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4782 Given the looming firearm restrictions, I felt it was important to bag the last one while there was still time! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4783 That safari fulfilled a lifelong fantasy. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4784 It was added by Special Effects. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4785 The meat was out of this world. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4786 Yup,... I was at a Trump rally, and it only appeared just as he began speaking... 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4787 I nabbed him over the rainbow 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4788 The anthropocene has made many things seem imaginary - when in fact they are only extinct. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4789 My daughter got the same one for Christmas. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4790 The bull, the deer and the unicorn walked into the bar. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4791 Really, I killed that unicorn! But then I lost all my hair. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4792 I’m hoping for a Black Swan on my next safari. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4793 It was simply legendary. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4794 I bagged this one in Key West 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4795 I shot him with a marshmallow gun. Good sport. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4796 That one I bagged with a .45 caliber virgin. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4797 I was aiming for that guy from Fox News, but I missed and hit the poor unicorn. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4798 Ignore the glue on the horn. After I shot him, the horn fell off. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4799 Yeah I had to go all the way to California's Bay Area to bag that one. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4800 And I shot this on the marijuana charter tour. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4801 See? I told you they made it on the ark! 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4802 Getting it home was a bit dicey; the license was for black swan. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4803 This one i wrestled down after breakfast with Alice. Sauteed mushrooms. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4804 Must've been one helluva a party!! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4805 The unicorn was the hardest. It was ethereal. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4806 You won’t believe how we bagged that baby. It was just unreal. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4807 Huh, I always assumed he was lying about those Narnia hunting trips. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4808 She wasn't much challenge. She just stood there, smiled at me and said "Hello human grandfath" 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4809 I actually ran over him with my car. Shooting him didn't seem right. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4810 That one, I got for my daughter. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4811 I think I might’ve passed on it, but I had this dang space in the middle that I had to fill with something. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4812 I'll take this one over Uber and AirBNB any day. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4813 He knew the Gnu on the left. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4814 Sophie still hasn't forgiven me. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4815 ...and now Elly's gone to live with her mother. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4816 No daughters, you say? 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4817 I did the impossible to get my little girl her birthday wish and still she isn’t happy. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4818 Would you believe five arrows dipped in witches’ brew? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4819 Does it looker better here or in Zoe's room? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4820 It was going to be the Uber for horses, but it went belly up after the hostile takeover. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4821 Yeah, the last hunt was fantastic. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4822 I had to lure it with a virgin 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4823 Gotta hand it to those Trump boys! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4824 I bagged that one at Disneyland for the grand-daughter. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4825 It was truly a fairytale safari 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4826 Meet our minimalist deer with single horn 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4827 ‘The way the world is going it could easily be us three on the wall instead’ 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4828 Yes... That rifle is truly magical. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4829 ... and this one is from our Nambia trip. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4830 It was on a hunting trip with leprechauns. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4831 That is she, Princess Unicorn! Fictional fantasy character notwithstanding, I felt I had to bag her. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4832 Turns out it was a costume. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4833 Antiques Roadshow said it was worth $20. It's a narwhal tusk. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4834 Yeah, until I had the horn added, this trophy just didn’t evoke the strong, brave, courageous image that I’m going for here. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4835 This is why girls shouldn't hunt. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4836 The one in the middle makes me horny. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4837 The first billion is the hardest. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4838 It isn't endangered if isn't real. Think of it as green-hunting. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4839 I bagged this one at Woodstock! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4840 And here’s the *actual* last unicorn. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4841 It was easy once I got past the green alligators and long-necked geese. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4842 I had to settle. That damn Sasquatch got away. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4843 It was easy once I obtained the licensing agreement with 'My Little Ponies.' 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4844 …when I raised my rifle & fired! Naturally, the Unicorns halted. There I was…One Unicorn here, one Unicorn there… nothing but my trusty knife & my bare fist...NEVER have I been through such a Unicorn fight! 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4845 Carousel hunting, again? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4846 I bagged it in the Virgin Islands. why do you ask? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4847 The man, the myth, the trophy. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4848 I paid a pretend virgin with an NRA approved mythical semi-automatic to bring it down 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4849 My daughter was devastated... 1.1728 0.05771 81 72 4 5
4850 It's for my son; he didn't believe in unicorns 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4851 Well, it was an amicable separation, but neither of us wanted to look after her anymore. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4852 I view game hunting as an effective way to manage and conserve the species. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4853 A shame really that I didn't have room to hang it with the green alligator, long neck goose, humpty-back camel, or the chimpanzee. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4854 I wouldn’t hang my hat on it. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4855 Whoa! I've always wondered what happened to Jim's ex. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4856 She sure was sweet meat! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4857 I wasn’t going to let Jeff be the only guy on our block with one. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4858 The Trump boys killed that one for me. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4859 I preferred his centaur phase. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4860 Let's just say the middle one took a little bit of luck... 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4861 Uncle Noah's final acquisition was entitled, "Punctuality Matters." 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4862 It was easier than you might think, I'm still a virgin. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4863 Our first-ever results for Viagra. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4864 It was a gift from Rowling herself. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4865 Earlier the same day I totally had Sasquatch in my scope and bam: buck fever. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4866 This one responded to our Craigslist ad, before they took down the kinky section. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4867 And I shot this one on my trip to Narnia. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4868 I believe the addition of the unicorn makes a statement as to the fraility of mankind vs. animals. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4869 The Unicorn is my proudest trophy." I showed "gunlover69", who was boss on that Ebay auction! 1.1728 0.05771 81 72 4 5
4870 Don’t feel bad, its not really imaginary. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4871 So this is what Don Jr. and Eric have been up to lately... 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4872 And that’s the reason I ended up having to marry my wife. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4873 We never bred her. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4874 Yeah, bagged that one outside of the DNC headquarters a year or so ago. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4875 I guess this helps the unicorn overpopulation problem. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4876 We listened to a lot of Kesha that year. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4877 They went inside the house to eat cake and blow out candles… I had to take the shot. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4878 The tech crash was a rough time for some... 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4879 And this happened before or after you married a mermaid? 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4880 I know, I know, it has only one horn, but I shot it for its mane. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4881 I hate to say it, but that one really clashes with the decor. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4882 That there trophy came from The Forbidden Forest gift shop at Universal. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4883 Cecil, the lion was already taken. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4884 She was my daughter's. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4885 The kids at the fair were terrified, but it was worth it. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4886 It was delicious! 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4887 Hawking said they don't exist but I found a way 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4888 There taking this 'diversity' thing a bit too far. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4889 I’m a unicorn hunter for lonely wildlife. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4890 I didn't know you're still a virgin, Bob. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4891 And this one I bagged while on an LSD trip while confronting my id. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4892 Their blood is better than Viagra... 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4893 I lured it in range using my 5 year old granddaughter. Wouldn't have been possible until this administration. 219 on the Boone and Crockett. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4894 I named this one Uber... 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4895 I've finally found a unicorn to invest in. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4896 Alas, the virgin got away. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4897 Unique-horn, get it?? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4898 The monohorn recently evolved with this special camouflage to hide in certain crowds of Millenials, often found on dating sites. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4899 one day this will be in the same category as Jurassic Park 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4900 Actually, that one was in Orlando. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4901 Now, them wuz good eatin'! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4902 Surprisingly, it was more tender than Bambi. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4903 That's from the hostile takeover of a telecom start-up. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4904 I bagged this one at a costume party. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4905 I heard the hair was Bowie's 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4906 I didn't know they allowed big game hunting in North Korea. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4907 I had to it tried to throw me off the Carousel. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4908 Getting arrested for poaching made me swear off drugs for good. I owe a big thank you to Queen Sparkles and everyone in Lovemore Valley. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4909 You ever get the feeling that Randolph is just a scoach full of it. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4910 Tastes like chicken. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4911 Who knew he hated "My Little Pony" so much 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4912 How did it taste? 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4913 A win and a loss; my second shot just grazed the leprechaun riding it. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4914 We still haven't found the other horn 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4915 If I had known it was virtual hell, I'd have had virtual guilt. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4916 I call this series "Things that Looked at Me Funny." 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4917 Do you think our investment strategy is too aggressive? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4918 ......and the middle one was my Proctologist 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4919 The airfare to New Fantasia was astronomical, but this made it all worthwhile 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4920 This was the last one, now they really are extinct. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4921 It isn't really a world record but I did shoot it just in time for my daughter's birthday party. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4922 Her name was Thor. She was trans. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4923 Back in the day unicorns weren’t on the carousel endangered species list. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4924 I call it genetic engineering and more on the way 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4925 12 gauge. The Hallowed Scythe of Tolasis. 12 gauge. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4926 Now I know you won't believe this, nobody does, but I killed the most magical thing the other day... 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4927 That hunt was real fantasy. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4928 ‘Im told that one has a unique horn but I’ve never much cared for the thing.’ 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4929 Eventually all trends die. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4930 The hardest part was finding a virgin as a decoy. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4931 Did you buy it on the rainbow market? 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4932 They’re not a myth. I found him by following the trail of rainbow scat. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4933 It's kind of like a stock buyback. The remaining ones are worth more. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4934 You say you don't why your daughter hasn't spoken to you since you returned from that trip to the enchanted forest? 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4935 I consider myself a hunter first and a Brony second 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4936 I got it for the grandkids. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4937 I support all animals of color. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4938 She was surprisingly easy to track. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4939 For a horse she sure has a unique horn... 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4940 It's a travesty that people kill these beautiful animals just for their horns. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4941 Bagging it cost a billion. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4942 I know it's only make believe but so are the stories of how I bravely hunted down the others. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4943 The Critics are divided: God, Darwin or Homer! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4944 There's always one in every crowd. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4945 I bagged him at Fantasyland unintentionally; I was aiming for the fire-breathing dragon. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4946 Like all great discoveries, I just use it to freak out my nieces 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4947 So much for that unicorn company... 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4948 That one is going to piss off some folks, bigly! 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4949 I guess this is what happens to under performing unicorns.... 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4950 It’s pasted on 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4951 He nailed it when he said, "I'm in drag." 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4952 Hit-and-miss? Not me. I'll go with hit-the-myth every time. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4953 Never cared much for rainbows either. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4954 It was the only one left, and it's MINE! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4955 Thurber gave me a heads up. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4956 Nice catch...the white ones with striped hair are quite rare! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4957 Happy accident, I was aiming for Dumbledore. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4958 I thought it was a party hat. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4959 once upon a Time, there was a unicorn in the garden. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4960 And they claim they are extinct! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4961 They say it’s worth a billion dollars... 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4962 It's been ten years since I saw my daughter for the last time. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4963 I think I'll register it with Boone and Crockett 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4964 I bagged it at Donald Junior's game preserve in Queens. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4965 I saw it on a carousel and had to have it! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4966 Huh! An animal that the NRA can't shoot at since it doesn't actually exist. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4967 I understand that they eat corn one kernel at a time 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4968 She’s the most beautiful thing I ever killed. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4969 Coney Island, 1957. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4970 It's called the Unique-corn. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
4971 All very nice, but what’s on the other side of the wall? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4972 She's not as horny as they are! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
4973 Just my luck...not a winner. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
4974 I put out a pile of corn.Uni came in and I took her at 200yds. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
4975 My trophy from a fake hunt 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4976 I's a horn trio by Saint-Saens 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4977 She's on my wall now. The rest is history. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4978 Regrets? well, yes - the damsel got away 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4979 It reminds me of kindergarten when you had to choose the one that didn't fit. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4980 My former wife helped trap it. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4981 It came down to a choice: granddaughter or unicorn. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4982 You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese, humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees. Cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born, you ain't gonna see no unicorn like this because Eric and Jr. just bagged the last one... 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4983 Good Taxidermists are a dying breed. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4984 I just had to have it. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4985 My daughter is a big fan of My Little Pony. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4986 And yes, I am a virgin. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4987 The middle one is my fantasy, yours? 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4988 I wondered about a wild horse in a party hat. 1.1707 0.05704 82 73 4 5
4989 Of course, some NGOs complained... 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4990 I was hunting the unicorn but had to settle for My Little Pony. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4991 Reincarnation is such a gamble 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4992 His daughter is still upset about her My Little Pony 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4993 I bagged this one on a fake safari. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4994 I hate how I have to believe it is real. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4995 Let me know when the acid starts kicking in. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4996 We acquired this one from the Tennessee Williams estate, thanks to Laura Wingfield. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4997 I think her exact words were "Over my dead body!" 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4998 A mirage doesn't know if it sees you either. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4999 Turns out my doctor said "Unisom"... 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5000 Shooting that was mythical 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5001 Last of his kind, poor devil. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5002 When I die, I’d like my head to look as fabulous as that one in the middle. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5003 I was looking for a vibe of big game hunter but it screams piñata. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5004 Me and my buddies shot that one at a centrist farm in Pennsylvania. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5005 I took this one with my Unique-ARs. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5006 Believe it or not... 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
5007 I bought this house from a millennial. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5008 My assistant isn’t up on Silicon Valley jargon. 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
5009 It doubles as a noisemaker on New Year's Eve. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
5010 Back in the '80's I used to style my hair that way 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5011 bagged her at a club in South Beach 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5012 When I said I wanted my startup to turn into a unicorn, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5013 I found her on Tinder. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
5014 So Eric Trump, you just had to bag it ... didn't you. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5015 I got the middle one when I went hunting with the white knight and the fairy princess. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5016 This one I lanced from behind 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
5017 Next on my list is Big Foot, the Lock Ness Monster, and the Male White Rhino. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5018 I got that one at Loch Ness. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5019 When I was a kid I had a dream. But I fixed that. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
5020 Only one horn, but unbelievably tasty. 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
5021 Of course this is Hell. Do you see a cable? 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
5022 I call bullshit on this one" (or) "I suppose you could say he's been to places most have only imagined 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
5023 She was mature for eight, so I thought, "It's time"... 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
5024 No more big piles on the lawn. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5025 I had more of a problem with the leprechaun-skin rug. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
5026 Somehow he looks happier now. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
5027 What if I took down the unicorn and put your mother-in-law up there instead? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5028 I can't believe he killed 'My Little Phony'! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5029 It’s Papier-Mache, of course. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5030 Bagging that one was just magical 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5031 So as my granddaughter walked ahead I followed discretely behind... 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5032 You think they're any hornier than we are? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5033 My wife threatened to leave me if I shot the last unicorn but it has been worth it. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5034 He clearly recognized me as a good guy with a gun. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5035 The story of the hunt might sound corny, but . . . Ha, ha, ha! Get it? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5036 No, it's my wife's sense of humor. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5037 Don't worry—I got that one before they were endangered. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5038 My granddaughter got the one in the middle. She was shooting for the moon. 1.1687 0.05372 83 73 6 4
5039 They say only a virgin can catch a unicorn. Luckily, my 13 year old daughter is a crack shot. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
5040 Best use for that damn vuvuzela I could find! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5041 You wouldn't believe the bribes I paid for a 'license' to hunt that one. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5042 Bagged that one on my trip into the rainbow bright forest. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5043 Rarely have I had a better steak. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5044 Where are we, Silicon Valley? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5045 POTUS appears to have a Plan 2 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
5046 I think she said, "Don't Shoot." But I couldn't be sure. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5047 You can’t find these anymore. They were hunted to extinction. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
5048 Ah yes, I remember as if it were yesterday. I dropped him with a single shot. Elvis Presley a fine chap, was my guide, and when we picked up his trail in Atlantis... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5049 It appeared after reading Michael Pollan’s new book! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5050 It was either prove they poop rainbows with a picture, or bag the trophy. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5051 And this one I bagged during my mid-life crisis. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5052 It was an unfortunate jousting accident. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
5053 "when he said"headhunter" I thought he was a Job consultant!. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5054 See, I told you I bagged an antelope. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5055 They only allow one. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5056 Actually, I think he was bi-sexual. . 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5057 Yeah! take us back to the great-time of Unicorn era. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5058 How bout that, Teddy Roosevelt?! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5059 No, actually this is my daughter’s. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5060 Yeah, now this one was tricky. I had to wait at the end of a rainbow for four days, camouflaged as a leprechaun...Still find pixie dust in certain unmentionable places. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5061 ….I'd really like to take a My Little Pony .... 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5062 And now that they're extinct, the price is going to skyrocket. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
5063 Harry, only in your wildest dreams you’ll catch this one! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5064 So, Disney is now in the trophy business. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5065 The only camouflage I needed was an earnest belief in magic. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5066 And I was with the Donald when he shot the beast... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5067 caption 1: I bagged that beauty while sliding down a rainbow and eating gumdrops with some pixies. caption 2: The taxidermist said he'd never seen anything like it. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5068 Yup, Santa was galloping on it when he hit that huge pothole. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5069 Quite rare; we had the Irish Rovers as guides. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5070 Yeah, I was hunting in Xanadu with Kubla Khan by the stately pleasure dome near the sacred river Alf. Shot him with and AK 47. 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
5071 I don't have the guts to tell my daughter it's not real 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5072 Maybe I was wrong about one horn missing... 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5073 I recycle my plastic bottles. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5074 Bagged this one at a theme park. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5075 Her stylist shot her because she was such a diva. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
5076 Our eyes connected, it was a wild night. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5077 That was a “longshot.” 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
5078 Old Dobbin always had ideas above his station 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5079 Yeah, she's a beaut alright. Got her on a hunt in Malawi. Did you know, only the males grow horns? They use them to establish dominance in the breeding season. A truly remarkable creature, the Impala. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5080 It was an easy kill -- she just kept going round and round in circles. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5081 I'm here to testify that Shel Silverstein was wrong. His theory is busted right here. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5082 And return flights from North Korea are quite reasonable. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
5083 The one in the middle my wife found in the garden. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5084 Well, heck, I guess you weren’t exaggerating. Now show me the jackalope. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5085 Really makes you think. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5086 How does he explain to the grandkids that he offed "Lily the Unicorn"? 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5087 He threatened my teenage daughter 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5088 They say we look like our hunting trophies. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5089 Got it on a shopping mall safari. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5090 Stanley got second place for best Halloween costume. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5091 This unicorn keeps winning our staring contest. He’s good, very good. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
5092 Bagged that beauty back in ‘69 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
5093 Is there such a thing as a mythical species list? 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
5094 When I hear hoofbeats, I look for unicorns. 1.1647 0.05252 85 75 6 4
5095 I know I should feel bad breaking up the last breeding pair but it was too good an opportunity pass up 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
5096 And this is how they ended. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5097 That was a gift from Donald J. Trump, Jr., who shot it in Africa. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5098 I snagged this one before unicorn's were mainstream. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
5099 Extinct? No guilt trips please. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5100 I can’t believe what you’ve done with the place. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5101 Hollywood has a lot to answer for. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5102 Let's just say it was a difficult mount. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5103 No, the elks’ from Kenya. This one is from the fantasy world of a 5 year old girl. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5104 I bagged that one with the help of the tooth fairy. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5105 The one in the middle responded to my bird calls! 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5106 I caught him right under a rainbow, about a foot off the ground. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5107 Just a one-pointer, but still. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5108 great grandpa got him on a trip to wonderland 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5109 She was last seen alive at Starbucks. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5110 I got that one in California. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5111 Fake hunting news. 1.1646 0.05532 79 70 5 4
5112 It was a fairytale safari. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
5113 I nabbed this one to prove a point. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
5114 It was the Harmattan, and there I was, a brash young officer in the wilds of Ponyland. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5115 Apparently the two-horned unicorn is pure fantasy. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5116 I wished for a wife who would want to have a threesome, but this is still pretty cool. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5117 Don't let the rainbow mane fool you, it put up quite the fight. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
5118 I've been tempted to try out some of the modern gear, but as you can see I do pretty well with my bamboo pole and earthworms. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
5119 Not all virgins are totally trustworthy I guess. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
5120 Can’t let my Granddaughter see it! 1.1646 0.05532 79 70 5 4
5121 We were originally hunting for bigfoot until this beauty stepped into my sights !! 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5122 He tooted his own horn one time too many. 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
5123 My 11 year old caught it in the magical forest nearby. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
5124 It came with the horse. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
5125 At first I thought it was a rhinoceros..... 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
5126 Yep, there's always one in every crown. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
5127 She was a real prick so I plugged her. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
5128 I've got a head up on the competition. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
5129 I was on safari with Walt Disney. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
5130 Now, it's just all rainbows 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
5131 I bagged it in the netherworld, just as I was coming down off a three night binge. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
5132 I took it at the carousel in the park 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5133 My designer says two horns are so last year... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5134 Lily, my second grader, bagged that one. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5135 I forgot to load the camera, but I’d never forgive myself if I’d forgotten to load the rifle. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5136 The truth is they are all imaginary! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5137 I would really like to know where she gets her hair done. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5138 I actually captured this beauty when I was six. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5139 So, you don’t feel any guilt about killing the last living Unicorn? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5140 I bagged this one in Sweden. Turns out the happiest nation on earth lives up to its name. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5141 Do you think the one in the middle was transgender? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5142 The trick? Narwhal 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5143 Say no to CGI. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5144 I heard PETA had a fit about this one. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5145 And this news briefing just in from The White House: "Well, I don't know...I mean she kinda smiled at me, and I just had to have her, Ya know?" 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5146 I bought it on Etsy. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5147 I first thought it was a deer using camouflage. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5148 Well, once the Endangered Species list stopped being circulated all bets were off. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5149 We decided for alternative therapy, and after a deep journey into her unconscious, I managed to hunt her tormentor. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5150 Scotland Yard was none too pleased about that one 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5151 Frolicking and gamboling are fine for a whimsical legend, less so for a game animal. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5152 You're right...it is rare. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5153 It was on display in a British pub; I bought it on the spot. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5154 If she'd have said yes to the date . . . I might not have shot her. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5155 The Unicorn is from Comic Con; nuff said. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5156 I know they're Republicans, but this takes the cake. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5157 I’d like to be a fly on the wall. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5158 "No, I did'nt shoot this one. It was the first prize trophy at a liars convention back in the day when the difference between truthfulness and obviously preposterous lying was a form of humor. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5159 I didn't know you were allowed to hunt at Fairy Tale World. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5160 I got this one in Disney World. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5161 They were once used to make Congress people work, but they gave up. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5162 A favorite of mine, from our Narnian safari. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5163 I wouldn't be surprised if his next trophy was Fuzzy Wuzzy. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5164 Yep, he’s the only known unicorn on earth, and I was lucky enough to bag him. 1.1600 0.05708 75 67 4 4
5165 It's not exactly saving an endangered species, but it's close. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5166 Yeah, it's a thing. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5167 Isn't she a beaut. The last of her species. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5168 Have you ever eaten unicorn? A bit sweet for my taste, but a great source of vitamin U. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5169 Yeah..., good friend is a pioneer in the field of cosmetic taxidermy. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5170 He's stuffed with rainbows & candy 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5171 One of a kind! 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5172 I can’t believe he paid a billion dollars for this. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5173 He thought he was unique but now he's between the cow and deer on the same wall. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5174 With the legalization of marijuana on the rise, they are no longer a protected species. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5175 Wouldn't you just know it? I was trying for narwhal and got her. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5176 Your daughter’s gotten into trophy hunting? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5177 I totally slayed it with my #Cult45. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5178 So, how’s the dental practice? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5179 I’ve got three on my wall and they still haven’t turned a profit. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5180 The company never hit its pre-IPO valuation, but investors did get some unusual swag. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5181 I loved her best but she cheated on me with a centaur. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5182 Trump and the NRA will be blamed for this somehow 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5183 There's no magic to hunting unicorn. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5184 I knew I saw it somewhere 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5185 My favorite....Spring Break 1977. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5186 Her name is Charlene. I conjured her long ago, in summer camp, during my tumultuous teens. My therapist says its time to resolve my feelings, and Charlene agrees. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5187 You won't believe where I found that one. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5188 I like how it gives the space a real masculine energy. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5189 My daughter, Lisbeth the Virgin, bagged that one... it was her first. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5190 This is the exact unicorn they used in that scene with Voldemort in the Harry Potter movie. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5191 ...and he still didn’t get a “wow!” What does Eric have to do to get a good tweet? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5192 It was one of those perfect hunting mornings, rainbow and all. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5193 We keep looking for a matching set for our collection but rainbows seem to be in short supply these days. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5194 Something looks out of place 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5195 I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5196 But how does it taste? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5197 Yeah I got it at target in the kids section! It’s so cool and eclectic! I had to buy this child’s decor to tell people that I’m not afraid to have fun. Anyways... y’all ready to lube up and go to pound town? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5198 Didn’t take any magic to get him! 1.1600 0.05708 75 67 4 4
5199 I see you have one female in the group. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5200 Who is the lucky one now? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5201 The narwhal got away. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5202 I'm not saying I was a virgin at the time, and I'm not saying I wasn't. Let's just focus on the results, OK? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5203 Someone killed Pegasus? 1.1600 0.05708 75 67 4 4
5204 Now will you believe me when I tell you Charlie lives in a fantasy world? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5205 I can't imagine how Hunter S. Thompson got this trophy. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5206 You know, I've been waiting for just the right opportunity to work the word "asinine" into a conversation! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5207 Don't tell my daughtet. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5208 I’m waiting for Wall Street to drop another so I can have a matching pair. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5209 My wife tells me I'm having a legendary mid-life crisis. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5210 Just doing my part for conservation. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5211 I just imagined catching that one. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5212 While we all shot in rapid succession, the necropsy proved my bullet felled the beast..confirming, as I thought, that it was My Little Pony... 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5213 I bagged that one on a carousel in Botswana. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5214 The Second Amendment is a beautiful thing! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5215 Yep...I tracked the middle one in Silicon Valley. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5216 This trophy was once just a fairytale. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5217 If this really were hell, we'd be watching the news. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5218 It was a dream safari 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5219 She said she wanted a stuffed unicorn. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5220 Toys "R" Us had a private hunting reserve. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5221 Beyoncé and Jay-Z give out a handful of licenses each year to manage their population. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5222 Narwhals are cooler. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5223 Him coming in second, was quite disappointing to me to say the least. Perhaps I overreacted in my hasty reaction? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5224 My truck was stained in tie dye and smelled like Starbuck for a week. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5225 We caught the ring together. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5226 Didn’t peg RuPaul for a sportsman. 1.1600 0.05708 75 67 4 4
5227 He was the last male. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5228 I was lucky to have a good fairy guiding me. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5229 Liberace reincarnated? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5230 I just had to mount those irrational childhood fantasies. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5231 People still question if it’s real. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5232 And which one was from your trip to the magical forest at the edge of the world? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5233 L train. Canarsie. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5234 I bagged that one at Disneyland. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5235 By the way, I'm still a virgin. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5236 Where do you think the wives have gone? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5237 That was the last one. You don't see them around any more. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5238 Because jackalopes are finally extinct. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5239 It's from my Palo Alto safari 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5240 Don't tell my daughtet. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5241 Yeah, it too a few months. But, thankfully, my little girl is speaking to me again. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5242 I was hoping to collect more tears. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
5243 He was immortalized by Peter Beagle, you know. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
5244 The taxidermist suggested he dressed right. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
5245 that one was an overall unusual hunting trip 1.1600 0.05708 75 67 4 4
5246 The one on the lefts name is Sunshine and the one on the right is Rainbow. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5247 equal opportunist taxidermy 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5248 Yes, we were quite fortunate to have someone with Ms. Holmes’ particular expertise in our hunting party. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
5249 My financial adviser values it at over a billion dollars. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
5250 Nah, that was my best kill; I got him cold! But I didn't shoot him. I snuck up close and froze his brain with an ice cream cone. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5251 It was 1937 on Route 66 and I bagged her with my Studebaker 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5252 They say Eric shot that one. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5253 e got it for our daughter but she outgrew it. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5254 Hmm, yes...I had thought this punch tasted a little strange...... 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5255 Got two of them on a safari trip - the unicorn on an acid trip. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5256 My first one and I'm still a virgin 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5257 We didn't want to have six horns in the house. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5258 Yeah, my father was a hunter. And a big dreamer. Did I mention he was also a sleep-walker? 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5259 I got it for 10,000 Bitcoins. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5260 I loved the merry go round at Coney Island 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5261 He’s got the magic in him... 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5262 One of a kind. What a pleasure it was to bring him down. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5263 Gentlemen, life wasn't any rainbows like they said, so I made sure there weren't any unicorns either 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5264 And this one I bagged at BronyCon. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5265 Talk about fake news. We went to the zoo with my granddaughter, and she begged to see the unicorns. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5266 The unicorn is nice, but I really wanted to bag me a centaur. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5267 We'll, yeah, they were all grass eaters but that one smoked it too. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5268 It's actually the horse I was riding. I added the horn myself. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5269 I pulled her head off at the carnival, leaving unharmed the two guys making up her body. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5270 My daughter is more pissed off with me than the Unicorn. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5271 I told you they were real. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5272 Didn't realize you are a virgin... 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5273 When I look at the unicorn; it's staring back at me; even though it's a mythical creature! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5274 The death of dreams! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5275 Boys, it was either him or me. Or my granddaughter’s everlasting happiness. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5276 I got the one in the middle hunting with Pliny the Elder. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5277 All I can say is, "It was about time someone killed the whole unicorn thing." 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5278 Monty: I'd like to see what's behind door #2. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5279 You won't see one of these every day! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5280 " and the loveliest of them all was the unicorn " ?? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5281 Yeah, I was a little surprised I got a hunting license for that one. Guess they needed to thin out the herd. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5282 ...and this is the first myth's. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5283 I got that one at a Safari in Neiman Marcus. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5284 You bet I’m proud. It’s a unicorn - a mythological creature. Just getting the correct hunting permit is an accomplishment. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5285 There is nothing funny about trophy hunting. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5286 No, I don't think I'm part of the cause for extinction! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5287 They say it was the last white rhino 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5288 ...and I call this one "Princess Rainbow Sparkle". Kinda fits, doesn't it? 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5289 Actually, my daughter captured the middle one from one of her dreams. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5290 The texidermist was drunk. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5291 “Just as he came around to ‘spear’ the ring, I bagged him! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5292 I can’t imagine why, but they are extinct now! 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5293 Personally, I don't think they're mythical. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5294 That one was for my daughters. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5295 He always had a weakness for doe-eyed beauties. But I think he could've taken a photo instead. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5296 Their poop is pure antimatter and would have rendered all fossil fuels obsolete. So I had to shoot it. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5297 After I shot this one, I immediately called my little sister and apologized for calling her a liar when were kids. She then proceeded to call me a liar... Sigh! 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5298 I bagged this one in the Fairytale Forest 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5299 Who's up for a game of ring toss? 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5300 I really wanted the commemorative shot glass, but I gave up drinking. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5301 I rescheduled my hunting trip so that I could shoot one before they were all gone. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5302 That whole trip seemed like one big party animal after another. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5303 I told you I don't discriminate. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5304 2-1-2-- Isn't that a New York City area code? 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5305 Of course this is now much less rare after ten years of low interest rates... 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5306 I guess the homeowner likes Walt Disney! He must have small kids! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5307 My grand-daughter has never liked it. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5308 Are you corny, horny, or just the horn section of the philharmonic. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5309 Ain’t no bull! 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
5310 The horn continues to grow. Magic. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5311 Unicorn, son, not unihorn. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5312 It was an act of love with a bit of magic 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5313 It looks so real. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
5314 We tried all the websites and clubs then Claire & I meet her in Washington Square Park giving away free hugs. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5315 So , what's the point....? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5316 They'll do anything to get you to believe their truths..... 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5317 I am surprised that my sister lets you decorate like this 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
5318 This is a strange urinal 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5319 Jesus, not another gay activist. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
5320 I bet you would have never known that all you had to do to see the last of the unicorns was walk up two flights of stairs. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
5321 we are going to need to find a new designated driver 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5322 My daughter thought all my children should be represented here. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5323 The disguise didn't fool you then? 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
5324 I never know what to bring to Artemis' soirees. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5325 My sources tell me that the milking happens behind the wall. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
5326 I still can't believe that he was the one who nailed her. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
5327 You have a unicorn as a hunting trophy. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
5328 I hear it's got cotton candy stuffing. 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
5329 All I had to do was yell at it. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5330 Well, it’s a good thing your daughter got over her love for giraffes. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5331 They say the one in the middle is worth a billion dollars, but I doubt it. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
5332 Didn't have to leave the back yard. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
5333 I culled it for the health of the herd. Unfortunately it was the last of the species. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5334 This one we found in the wilds of Silicon Valley. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5335 If I saw one more "Squatty Potty" ad on Facebook, I was going to have to shoot myself. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5336 It's made out of recycled plastic 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5337 It was either her or my reality. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5338 That's one miracle I bet she wished she could take back. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5339 Is UNICORNY a word? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5340 Hunting that unicorn was mythical. 1.1528 0.05821 72 65 3 4
5341 So much for beliefs 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5342 It was the purple glitter that made it such a tough shoot. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5343 looks like your hunting trip to Silicon Valley went well. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5344 I was like a unicorn in headlights 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5345 So... which one’s your wife? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5346 This one's worth a billion dollars. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5347 This I got by accident, I was actually hunting the elusive Zebracorn. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5348 Theranos here was a nearly bloodless kill. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5349 IT WAS A MAGICAL HUNT 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5350 Unicorn safaris--one of the little known benefits of being a Brony. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5351 Yes, my eyes are open. I'll see you in your dreams. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5352 Boy...That antelope was hard to find... 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5353 We are in Trump Tower, The President who killed our Unicorn. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5354 No! I don't feel bad at all. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5355 Fine, Fine. But don't blame me; no one read ME fairy tales when they tucked me in. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5356 It was my first and only night kill. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5357 There’s one in every family. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5358 I put the My Little Pony mount in my kid's room. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5359 They're so much harder to get now that the poaching laws have gone into effect. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5360 From then on, they held the Cosplay Convention in a less remote venue. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5361 My granddaughter just loves unicorns... although oddly she’s not such a fan of this one 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5362 Hiking back from Woodstock that Summer of 1969, I remember saying, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a unicorn!" 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5363 This is the only one that grants wishes. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5364 Someone killed it in 1968. Conspiracy theories abound. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5365 She was my very first Pet. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5366 Yeah, got that one back in the 60s... 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5367 Looks like Voldemort finally found his feminist side 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5368 Endangered? Maybe. Extinct? No. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5369 The conservation argument doesn’t quite hold up as well here 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5370 Face to face. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5371 On a comfortable queen-sized mattress. Why do you ask? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5372 I've heard of trophy WIVES, but never a TROPHY UNICORN! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5373 Richard Branston and I bagged this one. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5374 So this is what they meant by investing in unicorns 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5375 Even the NRA said it was toxic. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5376 The taxidermist said it would be quite a conversation piece. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5377 I say, `Uncommonly horny.' 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5378 My granddaughter insisted I have her little pony mounted after it got ran over. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5379 I used hopes, dreams, sunshine, and roses as bait. Brought 'er down with a 50 foot rainbow. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5380 Just by sheer luck, I came across this one magically. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5381 The last unicorn. Next to Rudolf and Ferdinand. Why don’t unicorns get names? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5382 It actually wan't that hard to find. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5383 Do you think they applied too much mascara? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5384 We got that one on our last trip to Wakanda 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5385 I sure hope they don't think we're horning in on their party. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5386 It must have been curated by s white supremacist. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5387 The unicorn came right up and put his head through the wall. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5388 You have your fantasy football, and I have my hunting trophies. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5389 That's quite the fascinator. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5390 I think the middle one likes me! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5391 I bagged that one at my granddaughter's "My Little Pony' Party. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5392 It's my grand-daughters influence. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5393 I had to change it - I was getting too much flak about the Bambi. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5394 And here’s an example from the hornyassic era. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5395 The hair was right but he just wasn't horny enough." 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5396 I had to decide between a billion dollars in valuation, or a great wall hanging. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5397 I bagged that one at Starbucks just a year ago 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5398 Bagging this baby finally shut the kids up about taking my car keys. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5399 Came across that one on my last trip to England. Suddenly, this school girl with a gyroscope around her neck appeared. The next thing I knew, it was early 2001, and I was at my broker's selling all my Enron and buying Amazon and Apple. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5400 This one I bagged before they issued the international hunting ban . 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5401 It's a finger substitute. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5402 Apparently, not what my investment advisor meant, I later learned. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5403 The taxidermist embellished a bit with the mane. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5404 yeah, but it's only valued at $900k. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5405 Seriously, he was the one the Good Luck Club chose. Really? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5406 My tech start-up never panned out. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5407 Oh, so it’s fine to hang this over the fireplace, but if I mount my flatscreen, I lose my warranty? Unbelievable. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5408 No, I didn't kill this one. You see, when Unicorns say, "lashes to die for," they always follow through. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5409 There's something I've been needing to tell you, fellas. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5410 I shot it while vacationing in the Poconos. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5411 ..and thiss one I managed to spear as he was running away. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5412 Let's see if the Trump family can do better than this "one of a kind" trophy. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5413 I bagged that one back in "67".. half hour after taking a tab of a hallucinogen known as Orange Pippsie. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5414 I could never really understand equestrian fashion. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5415 My first kill. Back before I had kids 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5416 Where's your tooth fairy rug? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5417 As it happens, we were out for a black swan. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5418 Even though they’re extinct I was still able to get one. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5419 I told my kid it was too dangerous for 'show & tell' at school, so the little S.O.B. took my shotgun instead! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5420 I call her, 'American Dream.' 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5421 All I remember was the rainbows...so...much...rainbows. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5422 They used to be protected, but now they’re extinct. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5423 I mounted this one on more than one occasion. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5424 I don't even remember shooting that one. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5425 Real clarity about his vision of the future. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5426 I got this one on my last trip to Wakanda. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5427 Uncle Harry was always a fun loving guy. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5428 The only thing worse than Hell is this orientation video. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5429 It tried to evade us with pixie dust and magic rainbows, but eventually we tracked it down and put a slug square into its fantasy heart. I'll never forget the sweet feeling of accomplishment. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5430 ...And we bagged this guy on our trip to the matterhorn. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5431 „My new president trap.“ 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5432 "Scored this one at Michael Jackson's Neverland". 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5433 “We had no choice. It was simply the necessary outcome of the company’s failed IPO”. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5434 I must have walked over that hill a hundred times but never with my daughter and there it was, what a beaut-! Well, she had to grow up some time. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5435 My centaur neighbor borrows that one every April 1st. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5436 We fed our army of Goblins with the rest of the body. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5437 The Brony community is up in arms. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5438 This one was caught leaving a sorority house. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5439 If you ask me,I say it's genetics gone haywire. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5440 I did it for the gram. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5441 I hated to shoot it but that sword was coming right at me. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5442 I acquired this one because it was going to disrupt magical thinking. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5443 In the morning haze, I was sure she was purple! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5444 It's one of a kind 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5445 I bagged it on a safari in my little ponyland. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5446 This one I bagged pre-IPO. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5447 Luckily all my guns were loaded. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5448 I know you guys were upset last year when the US pulled out of the Anti Unicorn Hunting Treaty, but you gotta admit that it’s pretty neat. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5449 It was half the price. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5450 The meat tastes like peppermint patty. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5451 My granddaughter was pretty upset about the unicorn. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5452 That was 1972, my daughter's first time out. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5453 These participation trophies are getting out of hand. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5454 The 2000 tech bubble - it was worth a shot. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5455 My granddaughter gave me the idea for this one. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5456 I was a children's book author. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5457 I'm thinking of setting up the other wall with my collection of "My Little Pony" trophies. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5458 I thought unicorns were extinct." "Yeah, this one is one of kind. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5459 Regrets? Absolutely not. The meat was quite tasty. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
5460 I heard that they make you younger, but that's all horse talk. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5461 You should have seen the gryphon that got away! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5462 She was a CEO who enjoyed making coffee for her male subordinates. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
5463 I bagged that little beauty at a Rainforest Cafe in Paramus Park. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
5464 That one is clearly imported from Silicon Valley. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5465 My daughter bagged it at a slumber safari. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5466 How? Unique up on it... 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5467 This one was captured by my daughter, early in our hunting trip when she was still a virgin. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5468 I told you that being horny has its consequences 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5469 Looks like it was a hell of a party. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5470 Yeah, my daughter bagged that one. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5471 No, I said I shot it in Maine. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5472 Henry, why can’t you just be subtle like the rest of us? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5473 He said he collected rare animals. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5474 And I thought Trump killed all the magic. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5475 So, she was standing at the bar drinking 'toonies with the other two when I bagged 'em. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5476 Like spicy chicken. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5477 Casualty of the early days of self-driving cars 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5478 That's my last wife...hung on the wall... 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5479 not as rare as the bicorn, but still..... 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5480 Word on the street is that Human Resources nabbed that one. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5481 I went on this safari with the Teletubbies. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5482 Instagram filters ruin everything these days 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5483 ...AND....can you believe it....I got the last one! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5484 The hunt was fantastic. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5485 it was my first time on a merry-go-round 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5486 That and a pot of gold, minus the leprechaun. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5487 I got that one when I was in dental school. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5488 Mermaids are the next frontier. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5489 Ralph and I bagged the very last horned My Little Pony at Toys R Us liquidation sale on the plains of Staten Island. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5490 Of course I did not shoot her but the President paid me $130,000 to make this problem go away. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5491 it only appears every 100 years 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5492 The wife had me get that one for our Granddaughter, she's in her unicorn phase. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5493 Hmm, so I guess legendary creature always points to the right direction. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5494 Bad luck, shmad luck. A passion for for ring toss can be overwhelming. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5495 A calculated attempt to bring out the worst in people 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5496 My daughter shot this one. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5497 WOW! That's the first one I've seen! 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5498 We were able to bring her into range by playing "Imagine." Then all it took was a few bursts from the old bump stock. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5499 We captured that one in Disney’s Magic Kingdom. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5500 The one in the middle seems very self-centered. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5501 He seemed a little ‘other wordly’ at dinner. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5502 Of course, I was a virgin when I got that one. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5503 Didn’t realize my life would be cut short 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5504 And that one I bagged in Silicon Valley 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5505 Hell in the 21st century 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5506 I shot this one in the Serenyeti. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5507 Had to buy a special tag for this one. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5508 I don't know, Bill. It doesn't look very rare to me. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5509 Of course I bagged it! It's not like its endangered or something, is it? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5510 It reminds me of my own vulnerability. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5511 Did you know Jeff Bridges was in The Last Unicorn? Perhaps it's just me but I thought it was truly an underrated performance... 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5512 Bagging that was always one of my dreams. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5513 Some grind the horn into powder and believe it to be an imaginary aphrodisiac. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5514 Ah yes, this one is from EDC 2016. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5515 Yes, they do look quite majestic even in death, but wait till you see what I've done with the butts. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5516 How about, 'No longer listed as critically endangered'? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5517 Very nice...I own property on Unicorn Island. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5518 It was the merry go round from hell. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5519 The rest of the body is on the wall in the dinning room. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5520 Anybody else feeling horny? 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5521 I bagged him in the hills of Hollywood during a pre- golden age, scandal free period. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5522 Surprisingly the Unicorn was the easiest to find. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5523 Well, I thought it looked more majestic up here. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5524 Nailed that one on my last hunt in Silicon Valley. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5525 Got it from the dollar store. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5526 It is special because it's from the original Blade Runner director's cut. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5527 Stormy was wearing a strap-on. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5528 I got that one backing out of the fairgrounds. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5529 Dick Cheney Memoirs: Nobody believed me I was actually aiming at this thing when that imbecile Harry Whittington got in the way. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5530 I feel really sorry about this one, I mistook him for a Trumpicorn. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5531 She had the unfortunate distinction of being the only one of her species nailed by the Uni-bomber. 1.1507 0.05744 73 66 3 4
5532 Mythical creature or not, if it has horns--or A horn--I shoot it! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5533 Well, my four year-old wasn't happy about it 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5534 The proof is in the putting down. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5535 That one was self defense... she was going to leak our affair to the Times 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5536 I shot this one at Sherman College. It just pranced onto the field at halftime. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5537 The last of them, someone had to shoot them and I thought, "Why not me?". 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5538 Trump really did it this time. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5539 That's what dreams are made of. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5540 My wife couldn’t stand the competition. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
5541 I shot this one right out from under a ten year old girl. She was tough, only cried for a minute. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5542 Thats Cold 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5543 Thanks, but I was actually hunting for Bigfoot. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5544 Bagged a unicorn at the magical gardens of the Washington Castle in Washington proper, he did. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5545 The meat was a little tough. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5546 I bagged this baby on my last trip to rainbow land. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5547 I out shot Erik and Donald Jr. for this beauty. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5548 They are not so rare anymore! 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5549 Your collection is out of this world. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5550 Of course I was only twelve when I bagged this one --- before Elly in grade seven. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5551 Will those Trump boys stop at nothing? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5552 Unicorn, party hat, or ice cream cone: It's all in the eye of the beholder. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5553 That's one "Unique-horn." 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5554 What's the deal with unicorns? 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5555 I hear he goes by The Dark Lord. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5556 It's not real. It's from his Frappucino. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5557 The whole "I want a pony" phase came to an abrupt end the day I put it up. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5558 Yeah ... that party was really out of this world. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
5559 You had to try those hamburguers. They were tasty beyond your imagination. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5560 We are the Wall-Mounted Heads and these are our human slaves 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5561 I'm horning out right now. 1.1486 0.05670 74 67 3 4
5562 Your trophies look authentic, but I'm thinking mine is a fake. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5563 Then one afternoon I got all Brony. 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5564 Bagged her in the Enchanted Forest 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5565 One would think it's on the endangered species list 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5566 Unicorns? They were once considered the old middle class white men of the African plain. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5567 I have always found big game hunting somewhat magical! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5568 It was only fair to let Bellerophon keep the wings. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5569 I see the resemblance. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5570 Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5571 To each his own. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5572 Why'd Steve put the one-pointer where the two-pointer should've been? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5573 One horn or two, it's just twisted to proudly display a dead animal's head. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5574 He was the last of his kind, I'm just happy that Zinke opened up his habitat to permit me to bag him. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5575 Have you ever seen anything so majestic as this? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5576 I can’t get over feeling like there’s a unicorn in the room? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5577 Got that one in the enchanted forest on opening day at Disneyland in 1971. I was a maiden back then. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5578 He was screwed after losing 10 races. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5579 "Boy he must have been running very fast to get his head through the wall". 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5580 -I’ve been meaning to tell you guys about this wardrobe I found in the attic. -Oh my God, Jim! What have you done? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5581 Wow! Where did you find this thing? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5582 We spared the mare. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5583 The middle one was half price 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5584 Last year's LSD trip. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5585 I bagged that one in the Hollywood hills. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5586 Best spear throw of my life. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5587 I bagged it right after the Initial Public Offcring 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5588 So, you still don't believe in unicorns? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5589 I looked a gift horse in the mouth and he's what I got. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5590 Hmmh...I dunno, gotta be male. Straight to the point. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5591 That trophy is one of a kind, for sure! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5592 Some girl named Phoebe is threatening to sue me 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5593 Damn! I had shares in that company. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5594 I have always been fascinated by the beautiful eyelashes. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5595 My trophy from Hogwarts Ron! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5596 I wonder if they ever found her other horn 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5597 The hardest part was finding the virgin, don't you know. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5598 Trust me, that's the point. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5599 My VC group bagged it after its IPO went wild. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5600 My little girl shot that one. Chip off the old block, I'd say. ; ) 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5601 An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~Martin Buber 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5602 It’s my first wife, Shirley. I’ve done all I can for her. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5603 Would you believe she was a road kill when I discovered her 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5604 Bob hit it dropping his son off at the Bronie Convention. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5605 I'm proud to say my daughter bagged this one just before she got married. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5606 ‘From my virtual reality hunting trip!’ 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5607 He winked at me! 1.1429 0.05857 70 64 2 4
5608 I bagged that one at Wal-Mart. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5609 Little Suzie wasn't too happy with this one here - but to our credit, we stayed clear of the rainbow.... 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5610 It's an interesting conception, but voice by Alexa goes a little far 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5611 We have updated our privacy policy. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5612 Winning this beast was a magical moment. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5613 I bagged that one back in the '60s. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5614 Aye laddies, I'm still fighting for the crown. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5615 So, my daughter is in cosmology school and got pissed when I wouldn't let her dye MY hair. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5616 He couldn't do that now, it's on the endangered list. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5617 I told you the gays were marginalized! 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5618 When you realize you’re into twinks 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5619 The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5620 .308, 300 grains, 600 yards at Fantasy Game Park 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5621 Fantasy Hunting Camp summer '16, I used my virtual rainbow as bait 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5622 Could this be a reflection? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5623 'Unbelievable'? Sure. 'Magical'? I don't see it. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5624 I wonder why he looks so unhappy. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5625 Disney keeps pestering me to sell the copyright. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5626 Liberals.. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5627 It was a dream hunting trip--on my bucket list for years. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5628 Luckily, I bagged the last one. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5629 Now reason tells me that it was ego, penetrating my dreams- all along. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5630 He was elected chair of the diversity committee by acclamation. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5631 It’s a new species - an LGBTQA. What’s the A for, you ask? Good question. The A is for Albino. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5632 When I bagged, it still had a $9 billion valuation 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5633 The one in the middle I shot in my garden. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5634 Bagged that bad boy at Starbucks last summer- cost me almost three pounds. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5635 Ya know, somehow I don't think she's dead. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5636 Unicorn, schmoonicorn, two is better than one. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5637 Fabulous, innit? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5638 Yep, Grand Prize, Fantasy Hunting! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5639 The lion seemed kind of mundane. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5640 So, you say you caught it yourself Keith? Aren't they supposed to only appear to virgins? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5641 I thought it would be a good investment, but now it’s overvalued. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5642 Brought that one back from Silicon Valley. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5643 Now that was a lucky shot 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5644 I bet she could really toot her horn! 1.1429 0.06201 70 65 0 5
5645 My son is a Brony. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5646 The middle one was much easier to mount ... I just needed a saw. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5647 Now we can pet them all the time. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5648 It is to help extend our Wi-Fi signal. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5649 "My quest continues for the elusive TriCorn". 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5650 I got that one in Equestria. Now my children don't speak to me. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5651 Take it from me, fellas— if you give your daughter a pony and she’s going to want a unicorn safari. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5652 Actually, Greg, the only thing mythical about them is that they AREN'T overpopulated in Fairyland. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5653 I bagged that one after reading Michael Pollan's latest book. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5654 No big deal. A horn is a horn. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5655 Maybe we've taken this diversity thing a bit too far. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5656 I would have thought so too, but the beef was still more tender. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5657 I bagged this one for my five year old granddaughter. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5658 I think they just glued a horn onto a Pegasus. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5659 My granddaughters haven't accepted my latest trophy. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5660 These animals keep sticking their heads through my tiny decorative shield collection! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5661 Donald Trump, Jr. needs a new hobby. 1.1429 0.05857 70 64 2 4
5662 The tough part is resisting the urge to shoot them in the face. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5663 I think I like Sunday's yoga instructor more. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5664 Shot that one just south of San Francisco, right outside the Googleplex. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5665 Who does your eyelash extensions? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5666 “Second verse same as the first”. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5667 You're not going to believe how I bagged this one. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5668 A fantasy forest special. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5669 The make up artist at Sephora really did wonders for her. So did the Dry Bar stylists. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5670 Hmm, I thought Unicorns were on the endangered species list..? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5671 It's really no big deal if you've got an eye for it 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5672 As you can see, gender and racial profiling dates back to mythological times 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5673 That’s when I was still working for the Antitrust Division. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5674 I don't get it -- my son says he's a unicorn. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5675 Now I believe, I'm ready for an adult relationship. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5676 THAT one nearly wiped me out. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5677 I’m a level 10 airbnb host. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5678 Okay, it came from a ferris wheel, but I just had to have it. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5679 'My granddaughter caught that one of the coast near Disney." 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5680 I have a rare Jackallope in the back room... 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5681 It’s my collection of nonexistent species that really wows people. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5682 Anne wasn't kidding about this "Brieing" stuff 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5683 I shot it while on LSD. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5684 ...and this one I got during a trip to Silicon Valley. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5685 This will show the bronies 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5686 It was the darndest thing. He just kept coming back around, always from my right. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5687 Poor saps, it's high school all over again. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5688 I bagged that one at Animal Kingdom. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5689 I won’t give up until I have the purple one! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5690 It's a rare specimen of horse. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5691 When I lassoed him he just sneered: 'Sorry, pal—fake horn. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5692 I shot it at the Cloisters 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5693 And this is why the endangered species died out. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5694 You won't believe where I was when I came upon him! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5695 You think this is disgusting? You should see the mess on the other side of the wall. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5696 This brute was actually full of glitter! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5697 It's not real implicit bias for me to like the white one best--it's not a real creature! 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5698 Don’t knock it til you try it. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5699 They're known by the horns they beep. 1.1429 0.05857 70 64 2 4
5700 This one may be even more unbelievable . . . 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5701 That's my last unicorn mounted on the wall, looking as if she were alive...She smiled, no doubt, whene'er I passed her but who passed without much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands; Then all smiles stopped together. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5702 I've been at this a long time. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5703 Actually, I thought the breed had died out. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5704 That one's for my $1 billion polyamorous frappuccino. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5705 I bagged the unicorn in Silicon Valley. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5706 If you think this is great, you should see the other room! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5707 Next year we're going after jackelope in Wyoming. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5708 Can you guess which one isn't real? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5709 What an idiot, I asked for a Rhino, and he brought me an unicorn. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5710 It was my granddaughter's favorite, she hasn't spoke to me since. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5711 If it's not real, it's fake news, right? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5712 I bagged him on a merry-go-round in Zimbabwe. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5713 Surprisingly, I took him in my daughter's room. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5714 It's the only time my stockbroker's advice was right 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5715 I feel like the unicorn is either a Carrie or a Samantha... the antelope is definitely a Miranda. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5716 I think the unicorn is the loveliest of all. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5717 So... you see the game last night? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5718 This was Jackie Kennedy's favorite, 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5719 We call it "a dilemma of horns". 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5720 horny hunting!? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5721 I took that one on safari at a local amusement park. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5722 I dont know if its the booze or the mounts--but im gettting very HORNY 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5723 This one wasn’t very hard to hunt. Maybe it’s because it only has one antler? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5724 Word on the street is that it's not real. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5725 My wife claims she tamed it just before we were married. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5726 Can’t be accused of single hornism. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5727 I have only one word to describe it, magical! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5728 Who farted? 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5729 Coney Island. '59. Thirty-ought-six. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5730 I placed an empty frame there because she keeps magically poking through the wall to mock me. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5731 That one was really tough to get through the wardrobe. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5732 i don't care if they're extinct; i hunt them anyway 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5733 It just hit me. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5734 Right to the end it appeared to believe it really was special, and that I wouldn't go through with it. It was then that I delivered the coup de grace. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5735 Corny. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5736 I gave a leprechaun a pot of gold for it. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5737 Anyone carrying VIAGRA..? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5738 And yet I still live with my Mom. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5739 That's the last time I'll go hunting in California. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5740 I got that one just walking across my backyard. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5741 It was marked as an exhibit in the divorce , then released to me after the appeal period ran out. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5742 "I got the the stag on the left at a party, the unicorn from Coney Island, and the steer from Old McDonalds Fram. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5743 Not in my wildest imagination did I think I'd ever see one, let alone bag one. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5744 Complete fluke, the pokéball got lodged in her throat 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5745 Not to worry. He's not an endangered species. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5746 Funny how the Bears Ears gas leases were more improbable. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
5747 'She's from the Magic Kingdom." 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5748 Mario Puzo lacked imagination. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5749 I just had to believe. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5750 I brought this one from Disneyland. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5751 Dammit. I owe Nancy a dime, with interest. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5752 I am still not convinced. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5753 Incredible Jim. How do you keep the mane so luxurious? 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5754 And there you have it gentleman, conclusive evidence that these once only mystical , magical creatures are now extinct trophies. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5755 It's a space holder for a dragon's head. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5756 My daughter always loved My Little Pony 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5757 They're easy to track by their spoor, which is also delicious. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5758 We all know Charlene loved her unicorn collection, but even I never expected this request for her final resting place in her will. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5759 Wife thought this wall needed a little color. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5760 …an absolutely fearless beast and my most prized kill: shooting at green alligators, long necked geese, humpty back camels and some chimpanzees –she stood in my line of fire. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5761 We've really reached an all-time low, huh? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5762 I was this or the fountain of youth. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5763 Follow me to the living room and I’ll show you the slayed dragon. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5764 He didn't believe that I would shoot. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5765 Got that one was after my first Boston Marathon. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5766 I'll take the candles. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5767 I used it as a bookmarker while reading Portnoy's Complaint. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5768 Chip and Joanna did the house. Their kids did the decorating. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5769 Oh they require a permit now. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5770 It's got that je ne sais quoi 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5771 My 9 year old daughter can’t forgive me for this one . 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5772 How he got it is a magical story. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5773 It's real and it is spectacular! 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5774 I still liked it better when the TV was here 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5775 They said it was extinct, but I found it in the barn, poking all my horses. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5776 Oh look, your ex’s divorce attorney has front row seats. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5777 Couldn't bring myself to shoot the rainbow. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5778 I was fined for shooting that one. It's the national animal of Scotland. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5779 One thing about those fairy tale nights? Clean sight lines. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5780 Yup, that's Harold, to a tee. Although his horn is slightly to the left. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5781 Yea, Al, I have fond memories of bagging that Unicorn a long time ago when the earth was green. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5782 The narwhal tooth was the expensive part 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5783 Endangered or not, I couldn't resist. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5784 How Fast Do YouThink They Were Running When They Hit That Wall? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5785 I didn't kill him. He got his horn stuck in an elevator door. 1.1343 0.05585 67 61 3 3
5786 Ugh! I think they should draw the line at Rainbow Dash. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5787 Yeah, it's real. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5788 I have a good ideal who might have spiked our punch. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5789 Wait until you see them sing. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5790 I bought it in a Jackalope store out West. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5791 And I'd always thought they were male. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5792 That hunt... it was such a dream 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5793 You'd never believe how much it weighed field dressed. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5794 But I fully comply with CITES 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5795 It's astounding. I mean, how did a narwhal manage to ram a horse from behind? 1.1343 0.05585 67 61 3 3
5796 This time Donald Jr. went to far. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5797 That one I bagged in my daughter's bedroom. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5798 Apparently it was a jousting contest that went a bit wrong. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5799 The unicorn is a fake. Everything at the resort is a lie or a fake. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5800 I just had to have my very own Little Pony. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5801 MAGIC KINGDOM 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5802 I bagged that one in a dark corner of Silicon Valley. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5803 So… which is the ibex? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5804 We had to lure that one out of the reserve with a gummy bear carcass. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5805 ...and to avoid any criticism, I followed the food ethics rules and eaten the entire body. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5806 Isn't hunting for endangered species illegal? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5807 I think the unicorn looked better off the wall. Well... can’t do anything now. Enjoy it. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5808 Meh,... Unicorns, you see one you've seen them all 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5809 Yep, I guess you'll never know what it feels like to bag one of these. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5810 Now that we found a unicorn we have our threesome. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5811 The burrowing owls were cuter. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5812 Who knew my hunting license wasn't valid? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5813 All I need is "My Little Pony" to complete the set. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5814 Of course, it's missing an antler... 1.1343 0.05585 67 61 3 3
5815 Let's put it this way, my ex loved those bloody things. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5816 Yes, quite elusive I had to wait almost an hour to get this one. But get a guide to help you find them. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5817 That one's the wife's. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5818 He wanted a rhinoceros... 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5819 Oh, it's worse than that. We were married. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5820 Was he recently mounted? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5821 I told her I was a virgin. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5822 That's the one that's going to get me reelected. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5823 I have a funny story about that buffalo... 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5824 Um, yes, it's from my fabulous LSD trip in 1983 - making me what I am today. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5825 Well, well, well, what have we here? That's a nice deer head ya got. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5826 must be an immigrant 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5827 It bled in rainbow. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5828 My vegetable garden is doing better than ever 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5829 This one was uh... a gift from the Fairy Godfather. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5830 They amended gun laws to include mythical beasts. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5831 Yep, had to pay big bucks to hunt in THAT game ranch, but oh so worth every damn penny to take this one down 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5832 She’s not impressed by her place on the mantle. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5833 It’s points to the gender neutral bathroom. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5834 Once we mounted the unicorn head, the dragon does not seem to want to play with us anymore. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5835 Let’s crop the black guy out in the email, OK? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5836 Black lives matter! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5837 She almost had me. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5838 And, with this one, I'm proud to begin my PC approach to hunting. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5839 Well, Mr. Fudd, I guess I would also have given up on rabbits and ducks by now. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5840 Trophy hunting for human recreation, no wonder they're extinct! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5841 Donald's hair. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5842 I killed a unicorn and I put its head on my wall. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5843 This one is from Fantasy Park in Candyland... 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5844 Still don't get where he found this. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5845 Don Junior bagged that one just North of San Francisco 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5846 Little Susie was the most upset. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5847 Now that's the Uni-cornupoia of trophies. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5848 And that one I shot in our garden some months ago. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5849 "These tight pants are clouding my judgement". 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5850 She went the way of many a startup company, Bill. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5851 I bagged this one in Palo Alto, just after it completed a B-Round financing. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5852 He was equal with Don, Jr., so had to one up him. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5853 And that's why they call him "The Dream Catcher." 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5854 My Safari trackers were Oompah Loompahs. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5855 Those ironic unicorn T-shirts just got a bit sadder, right? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5856 Yes, I got the middle one off the merry-go-round while hunting in Torquemada and Diez Coronas. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5857 Bagged it before the dot com bubble burst. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5858 My granddaughter is going to love this! 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5859 Guess friendship wasn’t magic after all. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5860 Yup, she is what's for dinner. Hope you can get beyond the pink and purple meat that smells of wildflowers. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5861 Say, Archie, shall we file a suit for reverse discrimination? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5862 Quite the congenital abnormality on this hippo! 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5863 Never in my wildest dreams... 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5864 I couldn't believe it was real, either; until I mounted it on the wall with the others. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5865 My family's proud that I killed the only one. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5866 The center one is from Medieval times dinner theatre. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5867 I bagged this baby when I was 26 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5868 Looks like my mother-in-law. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5869 Yup, it was hard to tell from a thousand feet. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5870 I found him in ancient valley called Silicon. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5871 Anything to keep the Grandkids happy. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5872 Got this at the annual cull in California. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5873 I stuffed the leprechaun and put it in the next room. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5874 We need to tell him his fantasy gaming is getting out of control. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5875 You're right. It didn't give a f*ck what kind of trousers I was wearing. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5876 She was killed by friendly fire; another unicorn with a different agenda. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5877 They shot him at his own birthday party. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5878 Somehow it looks hotter on television. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5879 Next time I'm going for Pegasus... 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5880 All you need is a high-powered rifle and the dream doesn't die that hard. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5881 Eh, I have three 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5882 Ah, there’s the last unicorn. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5883 The bullet hit an artery and she spouted the most beautiful rainbow. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5884 Easy enough. I set out a Squatty Potty as bait. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5885 Theo bragged he had it all but the magic was gone and he never understood why.... 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5886 That one? I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5887 My wife actually did this one, something about the eyelashes. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5888 This is the taxidermist's signature look. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5889 Got that one during a late night Dream Hunt! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5890 Just a lucky shot, I guess. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
5891 I thought we incels could use a horny mascot tamed by virgins. 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
5892 It brings out my feminine side. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5893 Aren't unicorns on the endangered list? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5894 I think this will really go with the unicorn theme in my daughter's room. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5895 HAS THERE BEEN ANY WORDS YET FROM THE FOLKS IN THE APARTMENT BEHIND US ? 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5896 I'll be impressed when he gets a decacorn. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5897 She's always horning in. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5898 Yes, it’s my greatest achievement. I made it myself. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5899 For God's sake, don't tell the EPA! 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
5900 Maybe it would do better in the corner beside Nessie and the yeti. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5901 I caught him when he stumbled over all the crap coming out of Washington. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5902 It was a dream hunt. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5903 Everyone I talk to about this dismisses it as fake news. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5904 It cost me a fortune to pay the virgin who found him! 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5905 I never liked her anyway. She was too fake. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5906 I understand that I made a mistake, but can’t joint custody be an option? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5907 I bet that’s a wig and candy. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5908 It was just a horse but that taxidermist made it special. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5909 And that’s an extension I received from my taxman. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5910 My wife used to think I was a creep. Now she just thinks I’m cruel. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5911 That one drown herself. I placed a mirror on the bottom of my pool. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5912 The last unicorn...shot it right after it pierced the tech bubble back in ‘18 - too late. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5913 It had 2 horns, but one was broken. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5914 This IS hell. Terrible TV cable programming for eternity 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5915 My granddaughter got 20 to life for poaching that one. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5916 That’s the skinniest Rhino I’ve ever seen. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5917 My granddaughter disowned me after I bagged the middle one. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5918 It's a fake... They really are a myth. Makes for good conversation. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5919 It supports conservation and ensures their ongoing success, you know. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5920 My Little Princess really had her heart set on a pony, but when she saw 'Corny there she just had to have her. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5921 I bagged him the Summer of '68. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5922 And that's where we are all headed, unless we get our clothes back on. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
5923 That? Bagged in Animeland. Single shot, panorama, 35 mm. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5924 Guys, is this really the best way to achieve posterity? 1.1324 0.05505 68 62 3 3
5925 Of course he's angry. I shot him just before he got to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5926 It was a little gamey. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5927 No endangered species nonsense with that one. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5928 I had to tromp all over Silicon Valley to bag that one. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5929 Fake Trophy... 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5930 That one I got with your standard finger gun. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5931 Astonishing--only the rarest unicorn leans center-right. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5932 Got that one in Maine..haha..get it....mane..haha 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5933 Maybe it’s a sign we should invest in taxidermy. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5934 More than ever, I want to be a taxidermist. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5935 I heard his daughter married a Brony... 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5936 Gutting one of thos in a dream is messy business. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5937 No, I don’t have an elaborate hunting story for this one either, had an easy shot and took it. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5938 My wife claims I'm trying to fulfill some elaborate fantasy. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5939 Did you know Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5940 Of course, I got this one in the mono days, before they started coming with the modern stereo horns. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5941 Thank Goodness my Wife is still a virgin... 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5942 A party animal alright . . too bad she thought she could horn in . . . like a regular human being . . . 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5943 On the horns of a dilemma. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5944 I bought that one from the Theranos whistleblower. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5945 A little rich, I say. George hasn't earned his third comma yet. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5946 That's almost as impressive as my collection of magical unicorn poop. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5947 Once I explained, "this way you get to keep it forever," my granddaughter understood the wisdom of our choice. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5948 When little Annie was 14 she put her My Little Pony on steroids and it shortened its life span and this is sort of a memorial how it looked near the end. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5949 Aren't Rhinos endangered ? 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5950 I don’t get the point of all this. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5951 A Marvelous Sight of the Extraordinary Hunters Captures 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5952 Why don’t you go back to your My Little Pony friends 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5953 Well fellas, it sure was an interesting choice of horse for that wedding back in 2018 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5954 I know it's "corny" but I like it. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5955 A single paleface. Now that's new. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5956 That eternally ungrateful daughter of mine loved unicorns, so I bagged this one just for her. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5957 Yes, this is the fabled unicorn! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5958 I got him on sale 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5959 It was the only way to keep the myth intact! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5960 Some are born leaders. In the case of Elsa, the herd mandated it. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5961 I always wondered if Jim's trophies were legit, but this seals the deal. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5962 Well, it looks to me that one of our hunters had diplopia. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5963 Perfect hats for a royal wedding ! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5964 That was before Equestria banned big game hunting. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5965 My great-grandfather shot that one in a dream. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5966 Since I already have the humpty back camel trophy I couldn’t pass it up. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5967 As beautiful as the head of this exotic equine species may be, you can imagine how beautiful it is at the withers. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5968 Mirror, mirror on the wall! Who’s the horniest of ‘em all? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5969 The myth, however, got away. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5970 I never saw a unicorn. I never hope to see one. But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than be one! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5971 "My VC buddies bought it as a joke, they call me the unicorn hunter". 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5972 And that's why I killed it and had it mounted. You really need to see it with your own eyes to believe it, don't you? 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5973 My granddaughter always wanted a unicorn. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5974 I bagged it on the verge of Three Mile Island and Six Flags. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5975 They claimed it was the largest military parade - ever! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5976 I had to travel to Silicon Valley to bag that one. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5977 Do you think it’s a white supremacy thing? 1.1250 0.05678 64 59 2 3
5978 I'm telling you, singing candlesticks are the toughest prey you'll ever meet. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5979 My 8-year-old granddaughter thought we needed to brighten up the trophy wall. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5980 Yes, he's alive. His stall s behind the wall, and he pokes his head through every day to feel a part of the crowd! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5981 The one in fancy dress put a hell of a fight. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5982 It wanted me to play leap-frog. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5983 Just keeping it real. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5984 Wow, you poached the 1% 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5985 Hunted in Disney world, it was wide open... 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5986 Not letting him out of my sight was a challenge, what with all his protective camouflage. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5987 I guess now we have to idolize the rich and beautiful. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5988 Wow, I never saw myself as a unicorn! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5989 I said no but he didn’t listen. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5990 They all seem to be from different tribes! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5991 This one definitly needed mounting! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5992 Reminds me of that polo pony that lost you the cup last year. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5993 Scored this beauty on the Harry Potter safari. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5994 I guess this means no more rainbow lattes. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5995 This one we hit while driving through the Fairy Forest in Utah. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5996 It was close enough to stab, but my AR-15 was handier. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
5997 Bagged him at a New Year's eve party 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5998 But sure as you’re born, the loveliest of all is the unicorn 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5999 What happened to the other horn? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6000 Silicon Valley used to be crawling with those, before the big venture capitalist safaris moved in. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6001 No, this is not a violet repression of my bisexuality. Why do you ask? 1.1250 0.05678 64 59 2 3
6002 Did we pay the Comcast bill for this month? 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6003 Sure, I wondered about finding a virgin to bait it, but my ex got a kick out of rubbing it in. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6004 So I actually had a fire breathing dragon in my sights when this unicorn darted out in front.. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6005 There wasn't a serious bone in her body. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6006 I didn't know Disneyland Paris permitted hunting. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6007 I bagged that one. The rest I shot. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6008 It was so beautiful, I had to gun it down. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6009 I still think fakes encourage recreational hunting. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6010 It really is The Everything Store. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6011 Aren’t they endangered at this point. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6012 Last week my wife got me a new shampoo. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6013 Whatever Lola wants...Lola gets. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6014 His silver glitter defense squirt wasn't lethal. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6015 Now that's one exotic centerpiece. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6016 But the loveliest of all is the unicorn. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6017 His kid must be traumatized 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6018 A unicorn showing a stink eye--now that's scary! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6019 And what makes it special is that Stormy helped me lure it! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6020 I came upon this one in the lap of a damsel 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6021 Funny thing is..we didn't set out to bag a Unicorn 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6022 The White Rhino was too heavy, we settled for second best. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6023 My Little Pony died last week. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6024 So you couldn't handle knowing where your ice cream came from, either? #squattypottyisgross 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6025 The irony is this fella was trying to pierce my heart because I was telling tales of his existence. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6026 You know you need a virgin to catch one of these? I spent a week neck deep in 4Chan for this trophy. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6027 Obviously old boy, the high maintenance habits of the Barbie unicorn presented a considerably higher financial encumbrance during the sport of bagging the beast. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6028 I got that one behind the counter at Starbucks. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6029 My broker is EF Hutton, and he says... 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6030 Actually the one to the left is more striking. Note it has two twisted antlers not one. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6031 The middle one was a victim of over-aggressive valuation. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6032 You are the horniest guy I know! 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6033 Venture capital paid for my trophy hunting. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6034 Really makes the wall more uni-form. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6035 We tried to find a virgin in New York to capture it but that was hopeless, so we just had to shoot it. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6036 Can I borrow some cocaine? 1.1250 0.05678 64 59 2 3
6037 Amazon was having a special on imaginary guns. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6038 This estate sale is a little corny. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6039 I slayed that one on the NY Stock Exchange. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6040 This one was wondering near Kleiner Perkins office. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6041 Yep, gramps got while it was running around in circles. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6042 You mounted the wrong end. I heard they shit rainbows! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6043 Now we leak to the press; 'it's better than rhino and....' 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6044 I was aiming for that Voldemort fella, but this is nice too, 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6045 The unicorn surprises everyone. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6046 In my defense I should note that there were still two Unicorns after I bagged this one. There is no way I could have known they were both males. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6047 I must say, my taxidermist was most impressed with this catch. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6048 Oh my! There WAS a unicorn in that garden! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6049 Yes, I don't know how this horse could've swallowed a narwhal either, but that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6050 It was eating a lily. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6051 The NRA awarded him that after he shot the child on top. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6052 I don't believe you. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6053 And your point is...? 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6054 They're not quite unique 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6055 Needless to say, this was the taxidermist's last job! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6056 Elon Musk says it's the latest thing from Mars. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6057 I expected it to have more colors? 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6058 The unicorn looks like it would make a great t-shirt for a Deadhead. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6059 Brian Williams has a very nice cabin up north. We go hunting every Fall. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6060 And this one I bagged just as he rounded the turn at the kentucky derby 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6061 Next trophy will be the last Democratically elected President. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6062 As you can see, I nailed this one right between the eyes. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6063 When I brought home the one in the middle, my wife shouted 'dik head' at me. How was I supposed to have known she wanted a dik-dik head? 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6064 Stay calm. It's not real. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6065 Would you liked on hear the accompanying fantasy I was having ? 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6066 How she came my way is a wonky story, but she sure is showy. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6067 Only in the Silicon Valley. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6068 I never knew albino rhinos had such long eyelashes. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6069 You see! There /are/ NRA supporters with a pure heart! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6070 People think they're endangered, but they're not. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6071 I've forgotten what I was on, but it was really good stuff. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6072 That reminds me, I need to go see my acupuncturist. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6073 I invested $83M and all I got was this stuffed head 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6074 About twenty minutes before I shot him, I gave him two viagra. 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6075 She was at a party and I couldn't resist her. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6076 It was an unusual and the most exciting safari i have ever been on. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6077 She had no family. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6078 What are you doing after the orientation? 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6079 He came straight from Marci Gras! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6080 I made him an offer he couldn't refuse! 1.1231 0.05593 65 60 2 3
6081 Bob, look, it's you! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6082 I promised central placement and he still objected! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6083 I bagged that one right after the government said that having too many of them was a danger to our economy. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6084 Okay, so Trump exaggerates a little,,, 1.1231 0.05146 65 59 4 2
6085 I was on acid at the time. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6086 I asked her to grant me a wish. She wouldn’t, so I brought her home. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6087 I bagged the unicorn at Disney Land's 'Safari Park'. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6088 My rebellious sister`s addition that put an end to the killing of wonder and innocence through a long standing family tradition of incest. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6089 By the time you are sent to pasture, the number of horns is no longer a factor... 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6090 In my own defense, they're over populating the region. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6091 It is pride month, you know. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6092 Can I count this as having seen one? 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6093 So what if it was at Coney Island. . So what if it was at Coney Island . . . it wasn’t an easy shot. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6094 It really was a fantastic Safari 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6095 My granddaughter was REALLY hacked off about that one! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6096 Thank God I don't have any granddaughters 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6097 Finished, Yes--but never actually placed. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6098 I guess it was ok, Ryan Zinke shrugged when I asked 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6099 She wanted me to be more gender-neutral. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6100 I found that one in a book my granddaughter loves. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6101 I knew the minute I saw the Unicorn that my daughter was going to disinherit me if I brought the trophy home. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6102 I shot this one on the merry-go-round. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6103 Looks like the middle one got the girl. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6104 From Silicon Valley, a cross between MySpace and Pets.Com, taken young. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6105 My granddaughter visits in the summer and she likes ponies. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6106 .... and then she said. That’s the one I want! 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6107 The Agency did say they put the sparkle into Headhunting 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6108 You won't believe what this thing is worth. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6109 A prose between two horns 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6110 Talked that one to death! 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6111 the meat was magic while the horn, may help with the Arthritis ? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6112 Hmm. Headhuntershave been staulking us roo 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6113 Menage A Trois gone NRA style. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6114 Disneyland 1982. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6115 Is this a joke? If so, on who? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6116 Oh, its one of the normals. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6117 It’s a great conversation piece, but his five year old has disowned him. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6118 I didn’t neen to shoot it, just threaten to shoot the Coney Island carousel operators. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6119 Fake Unicorn Head News 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6120 Yeah... once a brony, always a brony... 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6121 I nabbed this one in a dream. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6122 It’s not as sharp as it looks 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6123 When I brought it back, my daughter said she wanted an alive unicorn. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6124 I've officially endangered unicorns, so obviously it's now the moral responsibility of every backward brown people country in the world to stop hunting them for sustenance. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6125 Why so shocked? This is Safari Club International - it's kind of our thing. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6126 Ryan Zinke told me it was in season. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6127 With his last gasp, I swear I heard him utter, "unique corn". I couldn't understand why he was going on about his foot! 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6128 But how’s it taste? 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6129 No, you idiot, Rainbow Dash is not a unicorn! This is more likely Princess Celestia. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6130 KEEP CALM and OMG! I killed a unicorn. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6131 I can see why you have to be at least 13 for this contest 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6132 I got this one at a herd cull just outside of the Nickelodeon Studios 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6133 The middle one was rather hard to bag since it’s only found in mythological surroundings. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6134 I guess she's a virgin after all. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6135 It’s ok. They’ve officially been declared a pest 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6136 Yep, he's still pissed off at me. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6137 You won't believe how I bagged this one. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6138 The guy was so horny he even mounted his fantasy. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
6139 How did this unicorn get caught? I thought they were extent. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
6140 I always said he was a bit flashy 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6141 Yeah, it's a shame I couldn't bag a few more of those; never saw another. Anyway, let me show you to the Library I have a great stuffed Dodo in there my grandfather shot. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6142 I need to find a new dentist. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6143 How did you know each other? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6144 i went hunting at coney island 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6145 It was the one in the middle that finally made me prefer to think that they’re still alive and simply poking their heads through holes in the wall. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6146 I bagged that one in my granddaughter’s room 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6147 I had told you in 2018 the BigTech thing was a bubble 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6148 It's really a rhinoceros head, I gave it a face lift and rhinoplacie. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6149 The valuation is high, but we are happy with the investment so far. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6150 mith or reality, hat is our question. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6151 Art imitates life 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6152 Killing the one and only, was my greatest thrill so far. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6153 Do you think he knows...? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6154 I didn’t shoot it. I just audited it. It was named Theranos. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6155 I know it's super sad, they're real! Their blood is smelted into bitcoins." "And all along I thought cryptocurrency wasn't really a real thing! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6156 Follow your dreams. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6157 This trophy is from Fantasy Land, right next door is Adventure Land. My next trip to Tomorrow Land should be interesting. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6158 It was worth every one of my daughter's nightmares. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6159 I'm just using it to hold that space until I can bag a Bengal Tiger. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6160 Hunting is fabulous 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6161 It was a dream of mine. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6162 I know it's an endangered species, but I couldn't help myself. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6163 I wanted to mount the Hydra but there weren't enough plaques. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6164 I was pretty sure it wasn’t in season. Then I remembered that it’s better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6165 This one cost me $1B 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6166 And that one there is Theranos. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6167 And Justice I got to the end of the rainbow ... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6168 Well, we were camping on the plains, and it was New Year’s Eve... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6169 I guess being the last unicorn still doesn't get you on the endangered species list. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6170 Looks like Voldemort finally found his feminist side 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6171 The new diversity policy was enacted. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6172 I guess he got tired of going stag. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6173 That's Shirley. Always horny, but such a tease! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6174 Turns out, there was a unicorn in the garden! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6175 Bagged the tech unicorn for less than a billion bucks when the bull market died. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6176 You should a seen the delight in my six year olds face when I bagged that one! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6177 "And this is what I call a very unique point to look at". 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6178 Dad, where did you say you caught this one? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6179 So one horn equals more bangs for your bucks? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6180 He caused me lots of hassles to clear customs. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6181 The other half neverexisted. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6182 "He knew he was rare and beautiful but he was never one to toot his own horn". 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6183 Ah, what the hell boys, I say we still tell our upstate fishing stories. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6184 I'm still hoping to bag the rare two-horned variety. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6185 The hunt of the old, white male. The evaluation of our souls. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6186 ... and I bagged THAT one on my last trip to Silicon Valley. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6187 It probably disagrees this benefits unicorn conservation. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6188 It's an equal opportunity game. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6189 Looks like Trump?? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6190 I also dabble in “in-animation”. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6191 Hey George what are you doing George how are you going George that looks like a unicorn George ha ha 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6192 We've made updates in response to recent changes to global data protection laws, including the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) in Europe. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6193 It's like we're looking into a mirror. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6194 Middle Earth?" "No; Narnia. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6195 He offered me a thousand fairy heads for the unicorn head but I passed. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6196 I’m really gonna myth you! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6197 Yeh, it broke my grand daughter's heart, but it was too good a trophy to pass up. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6198 We just had to have the creature's untameable beauty for the parlor room. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6199 Trumpish, don’t you think? 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6200 Seemed promising, but the IPO was underwhelming. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6201 I was going to fund a conservation program, but my people tell me that unicorn breeding stock are proving very difficult to locate. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6202 That one was at Disneyworld. 1.1148 0.05773 61 57 1 3
6203 Look, I don't mind drinking the blood, but staring at its eyes, too? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6204 “Let’s get drunk and play Ring Toss.” Humiliating Final Days of The Last Unicorn 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6205 I got this one in Silicon Valley 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6206 One of my proudest moments, I call it the "extinction shot". 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6207 I got a little job for you. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6208 Cupid shot that one. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6209 Madge says it's too stuffy in here! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6210 Yeah, got her when I was out in Silicon Valley. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6211 The tough part was getting her away from the Brony. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6212 Brilliant! Okay, I get it! So the Unicorn is the animal that represents Washington DC! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6213 This place is very magical 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6214 ...they're called 'bronies', I think. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6215 And you said it was pink before you shot it? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6216 She was in a herd with the "Real" killer and "Real" Americans. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6217 Yep. On my way to becoming an evil wizard with THAT one... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6218 If you hang a picture on my horn, I will skewer you. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6219 It’s worse than I thought. 24 hours a day of Fox News. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6220 Funny story: my granddaughter asked for a unicorn for her birthday . . . . 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6221 Who do you think is more horny? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6222 There came a time when I finally had to end it all. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6223 To be honest, I shot it from behind. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6224 Even the necrophiliac subset of the Brony club thought it was a bit vulgar 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6225 I told my son I wish I had one of those fancy new tech companies worth billions 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6226 Senegal..Scotland..Argentina 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6227 I had to go all the way to Silicon Valley for that one. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6228 A good plastic surgeon could have straitened him out. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6229 That’s what I figured, It’s one of my Lodge brothers. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6230 I pulled the trigger when she suggested we play 'leapfrog'! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6231 Sometimes the magic works, sometimes it dosen't. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6232 That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6233 Bagged out in Palo Alto by a private equity buddy named Voldemort 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6234 It was once tethered to a pomegranate tree, surrounded by a fence, in a field of flowers. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6235 Was it an IPO? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6236 And here, you see, we finally busted the myth. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6237 The birds are downstairs. I’m particularly proud of the Giant Hen I bagged in Borneo, a a 300 pound man-eater with six inch incisors. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6238 So that's what happened to Theranos 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6239 ... And I bagged this beauty on a guided hunt of Universal Studios. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6240 I shot it just as the ad ended. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6241 She's a trophy you hunt for the eyelashes. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6242 Looks like, Unicorn was hanged alive. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6243 Witness the equine beauty and grace 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6244 Wasn’t easy, that one. Now no more Silly ideas. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6245 Yeah, microdosing is for wimps. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6246 They all learned they were out of a job via tweets. Even Karma, here. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6247 My granddaughter did not understand it. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6248 The weirdest thing is that the TV isn't a flat screen? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6249 This one was the easiest to conger up. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6250 Did it go extinct at the same time as the antelope? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6251 Conjured it with a silver bullet! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6252 I always dreamed I could bag one of these. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6253 No, you're not too old to believe in fairy tales. I was valued at over a billion once 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6254 I bagged her at the Burning Man Festival. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6255 It has been passed down from generation to generation, to generation ... 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6256 Excessive? Sure, but you wouldn't believe what I to overcompensate for. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6257 Day 32.... they don’t suspect a thing 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6258 I know he said he enjoys mounting dead animals, but how many inches do think that thing is? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6259 Ah, the magic of taxidermy. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6260 My wall is covered with bull, herders and made up postings, too. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6261 That trip was all rainbows and butterflies until I bagged this one. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6262 My granddaughter would’ve killed me. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6263 Which one of you is a Silicon Valley unicorn? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6264 Of course I bagged that before I met your mother. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6265 I bagged that one while on safari in FernGully. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6266 They say hunting them preserves them. Sort of a static preservation, I guess. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6267 I have a unique set of skills 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6268 “I couldn’t disappoint my little princess. She’s only three years old, God bless her.” - Daddy 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6269 Missed the virgin...though. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6270 It's certainly not one of the big 5. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6271 I could have sworn, the middle one winked at me 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6272 Bagged this beauty pre-IPO post early-stage on University Ave in Palo Alto. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6273 Maybe we weren’t that wise. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6274 I hear Trump bagged that one himself. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6275 Even I can't believe my 28-year-old daughter bagged that one. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6276 In olden days 'twas a mere fairy tail, true. Today, in stable stride she heralds the mane event, fiery with unbridled pluck, always right to the point. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6277 Seen one,.......... 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6278 The hunt was long and hard. It was on the 9th day when I finally ran her down. Then the Bronies came out ... 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6279 This one put up an epic tussle...if you know what I mean! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6280 My little girl bagged that one. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6281 That's what you call a HOLE IN ONE! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6282 "I had to bribe a pixie for this.'' 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6283 I call this one: "The Great President." 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6284 Of course now I only have a half-life, but it got rid of that pesky hangnail. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6285 It wasn't until I got home from my trophy hunting trip that I learned she was the last of her kind. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6286 I shot him in a fairy tale I starred in. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6287 Her sultry eyes plunged a dagger into my heart. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6288 It's amazing what game a dentist can bring down these days. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6289 Honestly? I thought the first graders would be into it. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6290 Good shot? You're kidding. The other heads are 2 game wardens, 7 hunters and a cow. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6291 He sure knows how to toot his own horn, doesn't he? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6292 Walter Palmer told me it was a rhino. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6293 It must have been poached. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6294 Can You Really Tell It Was Taken On My 3-D Printer? 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6295 The owner has a corny sense of humor. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6296 It would have been a big deal a few years ago but after Sandyhook nobody really seemed to notice. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6297 We flipped a coin, and thank goodness it landed on heads. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6298 And this one is from my trip to Scotland last year. Rare species. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6299 This is the only channel that we have. Hope you like it. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6300 Good to know that someone worries about preserving these for the future generations contemplate. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6301 The preserve was everything we wanted -- fine wines, elegant canapés -- but there was just something about the place I never trusted. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6302 Even the royal taxidermy is getting the "Markle Sparkle". 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6303 She was brought down at 400 yards during a Halloween expedition. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6304 I'm not buying any of Harry's hunting stories any more! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6305 Corporations will do anything to make a Buck 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6306 Good thing he didn't miss. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6307 I was microdosing and figured it must have been an elk. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6308 She cost me 750,000 tickets, and the stuffing fed a local village for weeks. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6309 My granddaughter made me center it. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6310 The Chupacabra got away. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6311 I'm tellin' ya, that was one nasty IPO. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6312 If you like his Trophy Room you'll love his wife 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6313 My daughter's dating a taxidermist. She said he's very up-and-coming. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6314 I bagged a great white too, but I'm gonna need a bigger wall. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6315 That one is a Dik-Dik and this one is a Dik. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6316 They’re going to ban AR-15s? Now what am I supposed to use to hunt imaginary animals? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6317 This is what happens when you grow old together 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6318 Here's my taxidermy collection from each of the fifty-one states. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6319 Really, I'm a conservationist... 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6320 If I had just obtained a design patent back then. I'd be a billionaire. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6321 That's a fake. The taxidermist demanded the real horn. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6322 Two of them are for my daughter. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6323 I got carried away on that one and shot my grandson's ferrous wheel phony ride. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6324 Fake views........ it is everywhere. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6325 I think I got the last one living in the wild. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6326 I know, the eyes follow you around the room. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6327 Don’t worry Stan, I had all the proper permits. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6328 ' LGPTQ record for 2013' 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6329 The single horn is a real conversation beast. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6330 I think she's finally realized that I'm not a virgin. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6331 10 bucks the Unicorn is a bottom 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6332 It took a uni-barrel shotgun to bring that one down. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6333 By the way, Fred, how's Bayeaux? 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6334 Hard to find, but I bagged the last one. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6335 Formerly known as Greg Gutfeld, who everyone agreed should be poached out of existence. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6336 They went the way of the hood ornament 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6337 This one tried to disarm me. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6338 Acquired that at the recent Toys R Us bankruptcy 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6339 Beauty, flanks by beasts. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6340 I didn't know you and Sandra were into that sort of thing, Phil. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6341 You wouldn't believe some of the intel you can get form Eric and Don Jr. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6342 Of course, my grand daughters, daughters, and wife had some comments on it. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6343 You unicorn is fine, I guess... But as a Bronie, I cannot approve of this. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6344 It was easy to shoot... it was very open. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6345 I was half in the bag when I bagged that one. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6346 I had to lure him in with fantasies of a utopian world. Then, bang, straight through the heart. 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
6347 They say unicorns are very hard to catch 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6348 Since we’ve run out of ivory... 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6349 Who did her hair? 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6350 Evidently, our hostess bloody loves unicorns! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6351 And this animal was featured on a cover of Time Magazine as the Man of the Year. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6352 with her evil eye ... she somehow knows all my secrets. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6353 Bagged her in the highlands of Dementia. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6354 I bagged this one at Don jr's lodge last fall. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6355 We went after he relaxed the rules on extreme hunting in Alaska. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6356 He seems to have killed that myth. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6357 It was illegal, but The Donald got it changed so that I could get one. It's a fake horn. That was worth $1 million alone on the Asian market. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6358 I can't seem to come up with a witty little caption for this. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6359 Standard definition. Definitely Hell. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6360 It looks so real. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6361 Hunter's embellishment. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6362 Did I ever mention that my late son was a Brony? 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6363 We’ve almost tidied up after the grandchildren, but I think Rocky likes his new look. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6364 We were looking for a third. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6365 The expensive part was creating it. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6366 My wife thinks it’s corny. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6367 Sure I'm proud it was the last one after all 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6368 "Center of the mantel--perfect place for extinction "Middle of the mantel--perfect place for the extinct." ' ' 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6369 Bi-hornal just did not work for her. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6370 This one, I came upon at a SquattyPotty... 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6371 I hunted mine in the animal kingdom. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6372 Kind of garish don't you think? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6373 At some point, you simply can't keep up with them anymore. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6374 genuine and mounted by Disney 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
6375 Well...its a nag. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6376 If immigrants are animals, does that one quality? 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6377 When I invested in a unicorn, I thought the return would be greater. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6378 He really wanted to be here. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6379 Yup. Last of a dying breed. 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
6380 It's a shame they don't show the rest of it. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6381 Glad we didn't make the "A-List". 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6382 Wow! Seeing a Unicorn makes me think anything is possible. Maybe Chelsea Handler will get off politics and be funny again. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6383 One rosy-fingered dawn...in my onesie...single shot...at one with the universe: I won. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6384 We had to put him in the middle. He lied in the corner long enough. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6385 "I'm a killer and I'm a clown." Alice Cooper sang it, but this unicorn lived it. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6386 Look at those eyelashes! 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
6387 And here is the Brony I bagged at the local comics convention. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6388 If you say 'James Beard' he gives you a recipe. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
6389 ...and then my daughter never spoke to me again. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
6390 I'm going back to get the lion. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
6391 We got it to complement our fantasy kitchen. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
6392 She's a real catch! 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
6393 'HIS HEAD GOT TOO BIG FOR HIS SHOULDERS AFTER HE GOT FAMOUS ON THE SQUATTY POTTY COMMERCIALS, SO WE MOUNTED IT". 1.1077 0.05426 65 61 1 3
6394 Hey I never realised that you have a unicorn too! 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
6395 Disney safari, kids these don't take no for an answer. 1.1061 0.04890 66 61 3 2
6396 If the market cap drops below a billion, it turns into a Pets.com puppet head. 1.1045 0.04819 67 62 3 2
6397 Looks like Old Paint with a Halloween hat on. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6398 ...And that's how I lost my virginity. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6399 We got them on our Tauck Safari tour. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6400 He got really into RuPaul’s Drag Race there at the end. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6401 Looks a little corny. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6402 Yes. I was born here. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6403 I prefer hitting them over the head with a frozen Drumstick to actually shooting them. This one had extra nuts. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6404 The 'Bronco Unicorn' was inspired by hunting with John Elway. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6405 I bagged that one at Coney Island. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6406 Well, it's...unique? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6407 We measure eye lashes, but we don't discriminate by color... Mary Ellen 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6408 Bummer about the other horn... 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6409 A Unicorn grants you one wish and this is what you decided on? You know this makes you the Harvey Weinstein of fairy tales. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6410 I saw them and I said to myself "Well, Bill, you should kill this beautiful creature so it can hang on your wall and invite small talk." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6411 Unfortunately my aim dropped just as I reached the other jouster. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6412 A shot of rainbow sprinkles. Why? 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6413 This is symbolic of the club's new Diversity Admissions Program. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6414 The recession killed more than just my 401k, but at least I got to keep the head. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6415 Apparently, he lost when playing horseshoes. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6416 It’s more energy efficient, but I think my sins deserve greater realism. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6417 Affirmative action at its finest. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6418 Now I understand the bull and gazelle. . . But why keep just the head for the middle one? 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6419 is this a sequel to I HATE FAIRYLAND? 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6420 I told my granddaughter I'm sure we'll come across another one and you can keep that one. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6421 The grandkids think it's real. My eldest daughter is a makeup artist with Disney. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6422 I shot that one high on acid. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6423 So, after it killed the other deer, I killed it. A magical find, No? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6424 When I said we should go unicorn hunting, this is NOT the head I was looking forward to. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6425 This brings me back to Lemonwheel ‘98 when I found a unicorn miracle! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6426 Shame on you! 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6427 That one's endangered now. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6428 How uncornventional 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6429 You kids need to know how seriously I take my LARPing. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6430 It was either this or a snowflake to increase my reelection appeal to millennials. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6431 I bagged that one at an IPO for a billion dollars. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6432 This one's not my best. You should see my dragon toenail in the living room. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6433 I thought if I shot into a rainbow, I might bag something unique. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6434 She was grazing by the Iowa shore at Brony.com 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6435 Does The President’s son understand that 6% of Americans believe in Unicorns? It doesn’t matter; 48% believe in Angels. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6436 Yeah, the porn is much better...but is it worth it? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6437 The funny thing about Lady Corn right here, is that she was hangin' with a bunch of elk. And in this day and age, I didn't wanna say anything. I wouldn't tell an ATM it was an ATM if it said it was a slot machine 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6438 Last week: " I'm going to miss orientation week." 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6439 He was my best leveraged buyout. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6440 Unfortunately she gave an old guy like me that "come hither look" one time too often. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6441 Bill did say it was a dream vacation. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6442 Nose to tail. It was delicious. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6443 My granddaughter is none too fond of the middle one. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6444 When she said "Look for Palm Trees and Unicorns" I don't think this is what she had in mind! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6445 Pretty sure it's the missing link. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6446 And I shot that one in my dream. Then brought the head with me when I woke up. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6447 We're being sued because she was mounted! 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6448 The trick is a bullet through the heart - save the face. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6449 I understand that I made a mistake with the birthday gift, but can’t joint custody be an option? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6450 Bagged it for my daughter. Think she cares 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6451 This was in my swag bag for Theranos VCs 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6452 It's been a difficult week. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6453 When I said we should go unicorn hunting, this is NOT the head I had in mind. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6454 Well, he's not extinct anymore.. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6455 I finally bagged my I.P.O. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6456 Scott Pruitt encouraged me to go after her. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6457 I heard it's a knock-off. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6458 he is just a one off 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6459 Really? Bur the seller had 100 percent positive feedback on eBay. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6460 I bagged that one on the fly. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6461 I think someone spiked the punch. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6462 I don’t feel bad. It only has one horn, but I did not get a discount from the taxidermist. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6463 False lashes make all the difference 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6464 It was the trophy ever. The only glitch was being forced to wear a princess dress and tiara to the birthday party. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6465 I've been helping Kristen with the nesting process.. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6466 He was a terrific investor before the NRA got to him. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6467 This is just the first unicorn I killed. I shorted Uber and Airbnb last week. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6468 It's an old RCA black-and-white. We'll get high tech in the next millennium. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6469 It Was Easy Once I Bought The Cat 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6470 I only hunt gender neutral these days. Two horns are so male, stigmatized by "MeToo". Ze's my first, and best. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6471 This one was beyond endangered. We might say her existence was mythological. I should have let her live. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6472 true, I hated the way it made those lattes 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6473 And that's how I met Anne Morrow Lindbergh. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6474 It made the top five "disrupters" 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6475 I wonder if it's Been stuffed with fairy gloss. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6476 Reality TV is what put me here in the first place. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6477 I don’t know, you tell me. We’re watching the Yulelog on Channel 11 for all eternity on a black-and-white tv that doesn’t have a remote control. Yes, we’re in Hell. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6478 My grand-daughter loves those things too. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6479 There we were, him with his magical spells and me with my Thirty Ought Six. He was a noble beast, a worthy adversary...and he made great cheeseburgers! 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6480 I'm still not seeing corn... 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6481 I can tell when it's false eyelashes. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6482 I got it right outside the Bronx Zoo. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6483 Damned thing was getting chased by a flock of geese. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6484 I got that one with my mythical rifle. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6485 I wasn’t a maiden... but I mounted it anyway. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6486 That's from a trip I took back in college. It was Bitchin'!! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6487 no glue from this one 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6488 " I hate it when they give the plot of the whole damned show in the trailers! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6489 A magical beast......bagged it with a clean shot it at my 8th birthday party. Wanted a pony. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6490 Seriously -- could you have shot her? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6491 We voted no for Scottish Independence 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6492 My wife says there's no such thing as "impossible". 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6493 The seller said it was recovered from the Islamic State 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6494 This one walked out of a Brony convention and asked to be shot. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6495 I tried telling my granddaughter it is not real. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6496 I heard that he also cheated on his income taxes. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6497 She's a real snowflake, isn't she? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6498 My first Christmas, my first virgin and my first running of the bulls. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6499 I dreamt about one of these since I was a lad. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6500 How many others have a unicorn on their wall? Not many, I tell you. I shot the last one. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6501 I asked for a rainbow slushie machine ... 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6502 Gentlemen,Meet Google. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
6503 I'm 3/4th's Scottish - I take offense. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
6504 So much for Fairy Tail. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6505 Last time they try to play leapfrog with ME! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6506 Yep... we traveled in the time machine all the way back to the Middle Ages to snag this one! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6507 He thought the list was of the species to endanger. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
6508 Do you see what I’m seeing? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6509 Who has a head in the game? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6510 Endangered? Nah. There are tons more of them out there. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6511 My eyesight is bad, but her self-presentation was worse. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6512 His desire for ever rarer trophies has become a mania; we better warn the Pope. 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6513 Stuck in the middle, and steer right? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6514 The taxidermist really did capture the look of ennui on the unicorn’s face when I shot it. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6515 Millennials used to call it Snapchat 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6516 What else could it possibly be but a trumpster? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6517 Thankfully, we overcame unicorn privilege some time ago. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6518 She looked like my ex! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6519 Well Joe, I got no i-deer. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6520 Frankly, I think it's rather corny. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6521 Does anyone else hear her saying "#metoo"? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6522 See, there unicorns really exist. You just have to cash out before they crash and burn. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6523 She almost got away 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6524 We cut their heads when they were young, so that we could stare at them while we get old. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6525 Mary grew weary of my tall tales. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6526 I bagged it in fantasyland. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6527 Bronies, that was a great day. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6528 That's one for the tapestries. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6529 It was open season in Equestria. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6530 I still think this makes you a Brony. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6531 We still have some of her star confetti in the freezer. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6532 See. I told you we should have ordered mint juleps! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6533 The Serengeti never saw her coming. 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6534 My wife said no more man-cave. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6535 I always said it was a merry-go-round 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
6536 The rainbow got away. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6537 When I described the scene to my daughter, she looked horrified. She said, 'Dad, that was a furry convention'. The concept was absurd! I said, 'No, this is a unicorn'. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6538 I thought unicorns were fake. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6539 Now you'd think those folks at NRATV would be banging on my door for this story, right? But no dice, apparently they draw the line at unicorns. Go figure. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6540 That’s what I got for my Theranos stock. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
6541 It's a polor bear. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
6542 ...and they thought we could not find proof if we set our minds to it! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6543 Frankly, I find this motif uni-corny. 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
6544 I hunted this UNI CORN in Iowa. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
6545 Total brony. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
6546 Every asks that. No, it's not done with Superglue . 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6547 Dreams, it turns out, die easily. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6548 Let me guess...you got her right between the eyes? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6549 It had the most comprehensive dopp kit I've ever seen. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
6550 Harold said there'd be good looking women here, but I thought it was another one of his myths. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6551 Its my merry-go-round kill. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6552 It was from the previous homeowner. Fella named Voldemort. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
6553 Yeah, the last three before Uber killed off taxidermy. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6554 but in his defense, the sculptor has captured my hair 1.0984 0.05070 61 57 2 2
6555 [This entry is for the Klassner comic with the devil in it: since today, May 20 is still on time for Pacific time] All I said was 'You stupid f***.' Turns out it was Saint Peter. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6556 Mortals, you have ignored Unicorn Magic at your own peril. Abracadabra...Switch! 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6557 Why did I suddenly think of my mother-in-law? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6558 Found it just sitting in my closet. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6559 This unicorn got to its billion valuation in just 3 years. 1.0984 0.05070 61 57 2 2
6560 Now this one I got on a very unique safari. Have you heard of a place called Disneyland? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
6561 I guess this makes me a Brony. 1.0952 0.04913 63 59 2 2
6562 Anyone else feeling a little... horny? 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
6563 Pity it lost a horn ... 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
6564 It was an African amusement park. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6565 That's a replicant trophy from the original Blade Runner 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6566 This one is from the time when Grandpa got really into RuPaul's Drag Race. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6567 I shot that one a hazy afternoon in the depth of mysterious, uncharted Silicon Valley. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6568 I picked up this little beauty while on safari in the ancient realm of Enchantium. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6569 Well it looks great but what in the hell did you do with the rest? 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6570 Some say virginity isn't important, but I beg to differ. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6571 This one is really unique. It was my first... 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6572 Pity they disappeared from the earth. But I assure you, I, although I have been called the first Great White Hunter, had nothing to do with their extinct status. 1.0909 0.05364 55 52 1 2
6573 ...I know a guy. He's got Yeti steaks, dragon bone cuff links, chupacabra sauce, the whole nine... 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6574 My, where have you been this weekend? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6575 It's my sixty-fifth birthday wish. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6576 No, I didn't know that he was the last one, Mr. Beagle. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6577 I just put an ad in the personals. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6578 Yup, those big eyes do seem to follow you. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6579 He bought into Uber before the IPO. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6580 Just a fabulous collection. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6581 To catch that beauty, it only took love, friendship, and an eyeball. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6582 Any young man would do what I did; endure the painful rash, lose the crops, walk the naked walk of shame and then marry the witch, just to be A lucky guy like me. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6583 The way to catch them is unique up on them. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6584 She was kosher -- and delicious. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6585 Ahh yes...this IS the last white rhino. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6586 That’s a helluva goiter!!!! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6587 Because I’m a longtime customer, my leprechaun gave it to me for only half a pot of gold. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6588 I accidentally shot off the second horn. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6589 Staring contest, me and you.... You win, you always do. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6590 Too bad you dislike my decorating skills, but you probably have a point. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6591 It’s not one of a kind at Target. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6592 I thought rhinos were extinct. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6593 Sometimes one surpasses two 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6594 Yeah, the company was valued at more than $1B in just a couple of years, but he didn't live to enjoy it. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6595 My Grand Daughter said I'm The Devil Incarnate. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6596 “I was there before it was ruined”. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6597 Again, why did we decide to stuff them standing up? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6598 That’s a gift from my Silicon Valley friend. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6599 After you ogle at my taxidermy collection, would you like hear why I voted for Trump? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6600 On LSD their really just pests. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6601 We're hoping to cure my son-in-law of his Brony tendencies. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6602 I knew it was Jerry the moment I saw ..it 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6603 Ah, so you've been doing some illegal hunting in Scotland! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6604 And I bagged the middle one on the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6605 Come on, male unicorns have much longer horns 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6606 Yup, flashy, but I still believe two horns are better than one. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6607 This one drank from the punch bowl at my New Year's party. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6608 Actually, the antelope is almost as rare. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6609 Our taxidermist is fantastic... 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6610 Yup..shot that one with my imaginary gun. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6611 No, the hens are at the dentist. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6612 Viagra was as beautiful as he, sorry she, was hard to ride! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6613 2 buck chuck. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6614 He's the first known liberal horse. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6615 There always is a clown horning in, 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6616 Near impossible to bag, and the big money in horn grinding is gone because of Viagra. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6617 This one hit two billion in valuation in just one year. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6618 This prop is from the little known 80's satirical comedy flop, "The OMG!Father". 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6619 Not enough room for Rainbow Bright, though. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6620 Had to lure it out with my wife's cupcakes and some candy. Problem was...had to shoot it with my space phaser. I'm just glad we have next-day delivery... 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6621 You guys are next. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6622 The green alligators, long-necked geese, humpty-back camels, and chimpanzees are in the next room. 1.0909 0.05364 55 52 1 2
6623 The story on this one is a real hairy tale. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6624 I bagged in the garden during my hiatus at the asylum. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6625 Oddly enough, the unicorn was the easiest to find 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6626 The one in the middle I met at a Yankees game. She bought me a beer; I bought her a hot dog. We came back, watched "Slap Shot" and made love. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6627 I always dreamed I'd bag one someday, and finally I did. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6628 Maybe this will make the grandkids behave. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6629 I was doing quite a bit of acid in those days." "I was doing quite a lot of acid in those days. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6630 I took it down with my imaginary bolt action rifle. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6631 I know it's only a one-point, but I had to kill something. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6632 I am glad I do not have horns. They tell so much about a person. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6633 It was prom night; we finally killed the unicorn. 1.0909 0.05364 55 52 1 2
6634 President Spanky's sons have shot and killed the last known Unicorn in Camelot. Fuck. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6635 Even better than the last, maybe the only one of its species! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6636 Xaiomi. The others were standard blue-chips. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6637 That’s nothing – I have the stuffed head of Alfredo Garcia on my wall! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6638 Hunting through your daughter's closet, eh? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6639 It just looks like a waffle cone 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6640 I nailed it the second it hit a billion. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6641 My 24 year old grandson is the CEO of the one in the middle. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6642 She's had that look on her face since we moved her away from the Minotaur. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6643 Still wondering why the tech bubbles are so prone to bursting? 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
6644 The unicorn was startled to see three species without their pantomime costumes on 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6645 Yes my fellow Bronies, Rarity is a beauty inside and out. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6646 Now I know why the kids chose to stay with their mom after the divorce was finalized. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6647 # me too 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6648 My wife thinks I'm a real killjoy. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6649 Got him just down the street.... next to the Ferris Wheel. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6650 I bagged this one myself with some help from the Easter Bunny. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6651 The Cyclops has perfect aim. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6652 I call that one “Uber” 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6653 ...and next week I'm headed to Yellowstone. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6654 Yes, Father could be headstrong, but Mother was a deer. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6655 Oh, that queen's not dead. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6656 I don know. Maybe taking farm animals and putting horns on them. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6657 Ah that. My sister’s My Little Pony. Got him on the second shot.... Poor Emma. But no prize comes cheap. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6658 She actually begged me not to shoot her. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6659 I got that on when I was on LSD. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6660 Such a majestic animal. Do you think the unicorn has been overhunted and is near extinction? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6661 Well, it seems to me that unicorns are anything but endangered. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6662 Guess our buddy Brian is a virgin 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6663 The taxidermist gave me an earful about hanging her in between the two. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6664 I nabbed that one when I was still a virgin. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6665 Well, it wasn't easy, but I finally got him on the final joust. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6666 I used my Unicorn scope, it only set me back one bag of gold! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6667 Oh, that's actually a prop from the new Jurassic park movie set. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6668 Can you find six differences in this picture. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6669 Well, my deer, it is obviously not a unisex review. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6670 Mythical or not, a horse can only hold so much cum before it dies. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6671 I didn’t shoot it so I figured I could display it 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6672 This Thing walked by and pooped a rainbow on my foot, so I shot it's butt. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6673 The Unicorn is real my friends; the 3D copier did not exist in those days! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6674 And that was my toughest kill. Have you ever had to confront rainbow magic? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6675 Well, I never had heard of a My Little Pony safari, before, but I'm not a Bronie, so... 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6676 My daughter shot it. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6677 The hardest part was getting a hunting permit for the enchanted garden. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6678 The boys tried to "dismantle" me but were unsuccessful. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6679 Neverland 87'... 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6680 My latest acquisition. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6681 That’s my trophy wife 1.0893 0.05270 56 53 1 2
6682 My 7 year old grand-daughter 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6683 it's a unicorn, not a unihorn. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6684 He said he was embarrassed, so I shot him. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6685 Where'd the other horn go sweetheart? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6686 It's weird, I've seen something different in the mirror all day. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6687 I bagged that groovy little one on my last trip. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6688 Not a big deal, she was pretty easy to track! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6689 The kids wanted head cheese but I decided to have it stuffed. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6690 It was hip dysplaysia. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6691 Her voice was that of an angel, and the flesh tasted of chocolate ... sweet heavenly chocolate. Then I shot her son. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6692 Honestly, it was a little gamey. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6693 He still has that smile on his face from when he thought I was taking his picture. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6694 He was a great friend and a lover. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6695 To this day I regret ever shooting the thing 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6696 It's the commercials I hate. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6697 For previous week’s cartoon: Not even Dante could have envisioned The Hell that is Reality TV. 1.0893 0.05270 56 53 1 2
6698 Which One To Ram Up Our Boss's Ass 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6699 Prong became famous for horsing around in the deer fields. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6700 Well he always had to make his point 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6701 That one I got in Nigeria from an old carousel n old carousel 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6702 Bagged it before they changed CITES 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6703 Without doubt my most worthy and devious adversary. Shot the blighter on at least three occasions, but each time he’d just run off in circles with the rest of his herd. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6704 That one I took down with Lisa Frank. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6705 Where in earth did you hunt down this unicorn with such a beautiful orange mane - and what a combover! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6706 I can’t follow the football game like I used to 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6707 A toast to Ryan Zink - what a guy. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6708 I told you that Unicorns are real! 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6709 . . . and I shot this one when it was attacking my virginal daughter. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6710 The hunt for this one was simply magical. Did you know they have rainbow colored blood? 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6711 If he goes, I go. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6712 It turned out we just couldn't be friends. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6713 After the fifth daiquiri, this one horned his way into my sights. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6714 She was quite forlorn When I caught her in the corn... 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6715 An elf called out to him. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6716 Very disruptive. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6717 “Can’t remember where I shot the one in the middle - Planet Tatooine, Planet Ambar, or The Moon Pandora”. Origin: James Cameron’ 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6718 Her name was Deborah. Died of chlamydia, poor thing. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6719 Look , I'm the only one not blinking ....Kim Jong 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6720 Earl's timing was impeccable on this one! Gender expression or full out transitioning? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6721 Got it on one of those "Fantasy" hunting trips. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6722 We killed her when he was in transition 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6723 How magical. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6724 A drink for the unicorn! 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6725 I told my new CEO if he failed I would have his head on a platter. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6726 Little did Ernest's guests know that his centerpiece was in fact the result of his granddaughter tripping whilst running with an ice-cream cone. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6727 I went for the virgin and all I got was this silly unicorn. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6728 Where’s the humpty-backed camel? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6729 She was great in Rosemary's Baby 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6730 And this one got me kicked off the set of Blade Runner. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6731 A suspicious lack of black unicorn, if you ask me 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6732 Now, that's what I call putting the "Big G" in MMORPG. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6733 Caught 'im using the squatty potty. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6734 It met its demise right after the IPO 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6735 It cost me thousands of dollars and a few narwhals to catch that one. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6736 Rejected by the other Bronies; his disillusionment grew pathological. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6737 I used gum-drop buck shot. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
6738 I've believed in that one since I was eight years old. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6739 Look what you did? What are we supposed to do now without Porzingis!? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
6740 Her too? 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6741 “Weren’t they put on the endangered “no kill list” before Chauncey started hunting flying horses? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6742 When the going gets tough 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6743 I made one like that in Jr. High art class. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6744 Donald Trump gave it to me. Says it's his share of the settlement in the Stormy Daniels case. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6745 He's got the eye of the tiger. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6746 Now Trump has put them on the endangered species list! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6747 Who’d have thought real conservation would be given a bad name like Cecil? 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6748 He took his last gallop under a Rainbow. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6749 It does verge on the corny... 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
6750 It's Very Rare-But Don't You Think That One Horn Is Sufficient ? 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
6751 I think it brings a real feminine energy to the room. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
6752 Is this on again? 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
6753 yall know phillis brown? 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6754 Would you believe she's going to be my wife? 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6755 Truth be told, I baited that one with some LSD. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6756 Its authentic. I got it through Amazon Prime. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6757 I’d like to be a fly on the wall. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6758 We hunted that one in Disneyland. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6759 Enough with the horn jokes, chum. 1.0769 0.05386 52 50 0 2
6760 She's so beautiful. I almost wish I hadn't pulled the trigger. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6761 Our daughter’s ‘My little unicorn,’ for grown up girls. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6762 Over the years I've thought about it again and again, and still would have done the same thing. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6763 Yep, and then I bought a real bridge. Here's the topper. Santa is making the next batch of those special mushrooms in the kitchen. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6764 I caught the sonuvabitch trying to sit on one of my capybaras. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6765 I used my imagination and bagged the Unicorn. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6766 And I was just staring at Princess’ eyes, blowtorch in hand, when magically, the lights went out at Coney Island in ‘77 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6767 stuartgerber@mac.com 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6768 Symbolically, it's the 212 area code, as rare as a unicorn these days. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6769 May have taken 80 years, but that horned beauty was worth the wait 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6770 And then I used my thirty aught six to shoot her right through the spine. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6771 Rainbow Dash? More like Rainbow Clash. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6772 When he said he had Scottish pride, this isn’t what I was expecting. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6773 You should have seen the rainbow coming out of his ass. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6774 Mother was headstrong, but father was a deer. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6775 It's ok. I married her before I shot her. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6776 We used to buy a mug at Starbucks for every trip, but ever since the Joneses moved in, we felt the need to up our game. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6777 Don't know why, but Uncle Korn had always complained he was under-appreciated. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6778 WHEN WE VENTURED TO OUTLYING AREAS, NOW THAT WAS A DREAM TRIP" 1.0769 0.05386 52 50 0 2
6779 Yes, it was the last one on earth, but I'm too cowardly to shoot creatures that can shoot back at me. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6780 I can't wait to take her public. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6781 Eeny meeny miny mo you're shameless gawkers one and all. Go take a flying fall. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6782 I bagged it with love and attention. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6783 When I told my friends about it they didn’t think I was real. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6784 I took that one in Transylvania. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6785 You have some pretty unreal hunting stories Granddad, but THIS will be an interesting one. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6786 Well, we did see signs of an old miniature railroad. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6787 It was the only female the dealer had. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6788 I didn’t know you were so horny! 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6789 And that's Theranos. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6790 I did not know they shoot whites 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6791 My wife bagged that one on the safari we did for our 20th anniversary. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6792 Since he bagged it in Siberia I don´t know how Don Jr. brought it through Customs, but he sold it at a dammed good price. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
6793 Brenda dared me to try a gentler sport. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6794 At the rate we're going, there will be more bucks and deer in our homes than in the forests. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
6795 Not an easy feat, gentlemen. I had been trying for the 'odd, even, odd, even' pattern for a very long time! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6796 Got that boy right before the rains started. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6797 The unicorn? Bagged it at the Brillstien Bas Mitzvah, in '98..... 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6798 She's the unifier. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6799 Could you pick him out in a lineup? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6800 What happens in Narnia can occasionally be smuggled out of Narnia. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6801 So I'm not the only one with that sexual fantasy with the horn. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6802 No, I am not your father. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6803 At that moment, everything was distilled down to essentials - it was him or me. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6804 I 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6805 What kind os glue did you use? 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6806 That’s right bub, one horn 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6807 The hardest part was collecting drachma for the hunting license. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6808 I had my eye on her from the start. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6809 We let the horny one be in the middle. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6810 Her milk went bad so we had to put her down. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6811 I 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6812 Looks like it's no longer rainbows and unicorns. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6813 Friendship is magic, but it's no defense against a high caliber rifle. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6814 Is he white with black stripes or black with white stripes? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6815 We built the house around him. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6816 They've always said that hunting them improves the species. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6817 Do you remember the Fairyland Sector, Arnold? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6818 Wasn't it supposed to have two horns? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6819 It's his birthday today. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6820 It must have been her first IPO. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6821 we won!!! 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
6822 That's pretty much all that was left. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6823 Some guys create unicorns; I slay them. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
6824 ... and I took down the unicorn with some dubious patents: Patent Troll, 1; pre-IPO Unicorn, 0 ... 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6825 This is my fuck-marry-kill wall. They were beautiful brides. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6826 Good at everything. Still a plaque. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6827 Quite a beauty, but I'm pretty sure Uncle Dave had his Equestria passport revoked for it. Don't think Twilight Sparkle was too happy. . 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6828 What do you mean, “after market”? 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6829 Most hunters are braggarts - at least he's got a sense of humor about it. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6830 The loveliest one of them all was the unicorn. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6831 The middle one is a mashup of my horse and a narwhal. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6832 I think I prefer the "My Little Pony" room. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6833 This one was from my trump phase. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6834 Oh, boy. Guess we can't be jockeys anymore. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6835 that centerpiece must’ve been worth about $1billion… Once… 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6836 The one in the middle leaves me speechless! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6837 I was a top donor to Tom Riddle's campaign. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
6838 Some lucky bugger bagged one!! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6839 YEAH, I HATED TO DO IT, BUT REALLY, YOU HAVE TO "SEIZE THE DAY", RIGHT? I NEVER DID FIND THE REST OF 'EM THOUGH. I'M SAD ABOUT THAT. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6840 I am horny, are you? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6841 dont worry... the rest was used for my couch in the summerhouse and a pair of boots... 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
6842 I wanted to get the full body, but the rainbow tail threw off the feng shui of the parlor 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
6843 The other horn got broken off in a collision with a tree 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
6844 ‘I can’t believe I didn’t win first prize!’ 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
6845 You're right, a rarity and The Rarity. 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
6846 Well... It's not so fluffy now! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
6847 They just could not play well with others. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6848 It's a Unique-Horn 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
6849 And what did it take to catch this magical find? 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6850 Just three more and his collection is complete. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
6851 Dr. Doolittle reminisces about last requests. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6852 She loved him, but she did it for me. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6853 My first wife and little girl left me right after I mounted it. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6854 My Dad owns this company so do everything on my list immediately, you idiot. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6855 This one truly speaks to me. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6856 The weirdest part isn’t the mounted head. It’s the mounted horn. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6857 Rare, but apparently very slow... Ok, rare but apparently very slow... 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6858 Who killed the unicorn? 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6859 Son, I really don't want to go there. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6860 Ah! Now I can see why you had decapitated animal carcasses in your kitchen! You should really reconsider the structure your house tours. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6861 I've always fantasized about bagging one. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6862 This isn’t what I had in mind when I said, ‘’Mount me, I’m horny.’ 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6863 1 - Do you know what type of gun he has? 2 - I wonder the type of gun he has. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6864 It happened within a few days of your mother's passing. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6865 And that was the last time a horse was ever horny on main 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6866 It's not just tech Unicorns that are a good investment 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6867 I call her Rainbow Magic 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6868 Ah... the Twenty Deuces when bagging a Unicorn meant something. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6869 Can't hold a candle to him 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6870 I spotted him in my garden. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6871 So that's what happens when knights ride on the right. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6872 What kind of bird is that? 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6873 And this is one of the few advantages to never having been in an intimate relationship, while also being a staunch proponent of the 2nd Amendment. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6874 I know we have to pay the devil his due but I am tired of watching these hot movies. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6875 My wife shot a narwhal, so I sawed off the tusk, and glued it onto the head of carousel horse. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6876 The Mrs. in anti-gun, can you tell?! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6877 I felt a responsibility to our own species. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6878 My daughter hasn't spoken to me in twenty years, but I couldn't help myself. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6879 no you're thinking of a screwnicorn 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6880 This isn't a flying pig. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6881 It's a long story, I leaned over in front of him and there he is! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6882 This should be one helluva show! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6883 There I was with a hand full of pills. Got that one in the middle using the pink pill. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6884 When Ethel called me from the grocery and asked me what I was in the mood for, I told her I was horny. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6885 I was combining my love of hunting and cosplay. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
6886 His horn blew at midnight.. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6887 Jezebel...? 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
6888 I'd love to stick my horn right up the old guys keister! 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6889 He followed me home from us fantasy world I was visiting so I shot him. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6890 Bull horn 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6891 I bagged it at Starbucks. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6892 I'm off next season to bag its mate. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6893 Mirror, Mirror who is the fairest of them all 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6894 I wonder what he was on , when he shot this beauty. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6895 I did my part to thin the herd. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6896 I bagged him coming out of the fanciest hair salon in town. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6897 That's the one that made me convert to shooting with a camera. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6898 Right before my wife left me, she asked me to bring home a unicorn 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6899 We believe in inclusivity. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6900 You know, if I was a horse I would be enchanted by her sexually. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6901 From Don Trump Jr.'s private collection--and people say he doesn't value diversity! 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6902 My wife insisted this be mounted front and center. I guess my willful hunting “time is up!” 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6903 The middle one is going to The Barack Obama Presidential Center. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6904 Of course, I bagged this one with the first shot I ever fired. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6905 That horse was a little too horny 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6906 Hemingway was envious. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6907 If you think this is impressive, you should see the bathroom. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
6908 Well, seems like we have a multiracial group crossin' the Wall. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6909 I apologized to my granddaughter for not believing her that unicorns exist, but she’s still mad at me for shooting it. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6910 I thought it was an elephant. 1.0588 0.04349 51 49 1 1
6911 Wonder where he found it.... 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
6912 You guys horny too? 1.0577 0.04266 52 50 1 1
6913 Oh man. What the fuck! lol. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6914 It was an epic struggle. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6915 I know its corny, but I like the look. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6916 In a world full of unicorns, be a horse! 1.0444 0.04444 45 44 0 1
6917 So that's what happened to Charlie 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6918 Home on the range 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6919 I bagged that one when I was very much younger. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6920 I was framed. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6921 Bagged by my jealous fiancee 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6922 Yeah, but bagging it was easier than getting that Trump-Kim peace summit commemorative coin. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6923 This is a special trophy since this guy lost his other antler at some point in his life. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6924 Now I understand why the boss insisted on calling our softball team the "Unicorns." 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6925 Now if only I could catch a break with my wife. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6926 Alexa, what's bitcoin? 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6927 The Men Who Stare At Goats... And Mantle Things. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6928 If I recall correctly, late 60's, early 70's 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6929 It took third place in the Imitation Hemingway Competition. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6930 That rainbow jumpsuit of mine turned out to be a great investment: I didn't buy any new camouflage. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6931 Do you think we should have taken the red pill 20 years ago?" If we had, Joe, "There would be a White Rhino instead, and he does not exist either. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6932 We better stay ahead of schedule lest we get punctual. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6933 They got horns we got corns. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6934 that’s the unique one. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6935 Wow, they're really taking that micro-managining approach to a whole new level. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6936 Having been a very successful corporate headhunter all my life, I meant to celebrate my retirement with the appropriate phallic trophy. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6937 I’m a conservationist at heart. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6938 The paradise estate is being built as we speak. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6939 Soooo, the Trump brothers are at it again 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6940 They're watching a Travelogue special 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6941 'Shot dead on Walt street just before the ban' 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6942 Uni-wha??? 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6943 I didn't know Roosevelt was a Bronie. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6944 Yes, got ‘me with my unreal gun 1.0444 0.04444 45 44 0 1
6945 My wife bagged that one. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6946 I've seen this one...the ending sucks. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6947 The first ‘Fascinater’. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6948 He hates to be the bearer of bad news. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6949 I got it through customs by gluing a traffic cone to its forehead and convincing them that it's not an endangered species -- just a mythical one. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6950 This one belongs to Vivian, my wife, she bagged it. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6951 This one is the loveliest of them all. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6952 That’s from before I had my varifocals. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6953 It really lost its luster after the the series B funding. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6954 Who taught you how to hunt this wild one? 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6955 Talk about tooting your own horn, Frank. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6956 We eat Jimmy John's with the dentist crew, in the sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky room. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6957 She took her own life after killing substandard mates. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6958 But this one was my best ever for vertical height 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6959 Her mane's colorful shades co-ordinate well with her unicorn, eye lashes and nose rings! Is it too late to clone her? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6960 I don't see a butterfly, but that horned one stands out. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6961 ...her only mistake, she should have killed 88 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6962 Yeah, that one was my daughter's imaginary friend. I shot it to teach her a lesson. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6963 I know your venture capitalist has a track record of finding rare, diamonds in the rough. I’m just starting to question whether I want to be the head of the company going into your IPO. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6964 The safari was fantastic. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6965 Has there been an Azkaban break-out recently, because only followers of Voldemort would be such ardent haters of rainbows? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6966 Not a unicorn, it's an alicorn. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6967 Priceless, the last one of it's kind 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6968 Behind the gloss and glitter is a real animal. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6969 No, it was harder to find the virgin. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6970 Let's try herding our efforts to mount a pointed display of putting our heads together. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6971 and this one I bagged as he tries munching on petunias in my garden 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6972 The meat has a funny taste because they mostly eat Soylent. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6973 That one cost me three years in the pen and $1 million fine, but it was worth it 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6974 Her blood ran purple. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6975 Somehow the unicorn seems most familiar although I have never seen one 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6976 My first hunt was missed-a-kill. Then I got the hang of it. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6977 Good Lord, I thought I was just dreaming when I shot that one last night! 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6978 My wife never told me where she bagged him. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6979 The punishment is we have to watch Fox News 24/7 on it. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6980 Marv really did die and go to heaven. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6981 I should have an advantage here as I was an adult films star in my younger days. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6982 Does this make me a brony? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6983 Take me to the river 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6984 She really brightens up the place. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6985 UNICORN (singing): Helping verbs, helping verbs, there are 23 - am, as, are, was and were, being, been, and be. Have, has, had, do, does, did, shall, should, will, and would, there are 5 more helping verbs - may, might, must, can, could! 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6986 Why are these three old men staring at me? I'm on show for the young girls. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6987 Remember Facebook? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6988 All these fantastic beats are on somebody's endangered species list. What would Donald Rumsfeld say? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6989 Well that ones corny. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6990 They call me a Brony. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6991 You're certainly a modern hunter. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6992 I do recall something about the Clancy Brothers and a double negative, but I suppose my lawyer handled that. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6993 Another Trophy Wife bites the dust. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6994 I bagged this one with a $5 million Series A round. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6995 She wanted to go on the cruise, but he said the captain, Noel, was a nut case. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6996 I bagged that one going through the car wash. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6997 i could swear she had plastic surgery again. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6998 I thought she’d be sexier. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
6999 I heat they're extinct. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7000 Trust me, that popping ice cream thing got old real fast. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7001 The middle one really gives me the horn. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7002 He was browsing among the tulips... 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7003 uniqueness has its own award 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7004 Now that's what I call a magical threesome! 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7005 This was one of my most difficult kills... 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7006 Nudity has its upside, but you'd think they'd at least give us cable. 1.0426 0.04255 47 46 0 1
7007 That damn ugly horse was a real son of a bitch to catch. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7008 In order to gain her trust some might say I wound up mounting this unicorn twice. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7009 No, actually, I didn’t shoot this in Germany! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7010 I thought he was just horsing around. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7011 Cotton candy machine a few turns, then snap it was over. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7012 What are you duds lookin' at? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7013 For the TV with flames and nude people. " Our mistake the Devil called for a new pianist!" 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7014 I moved on her like a bitch. 1.0408 0.04082 49 48 0 1
7015 After the Tesla safari, Elon said SpaceX is really just a code name for Westworld. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7016 The taxidermist must not like unicorns. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7017 This place is so far behind the times there aren't even any cell phones or internet. It really is hell. 1.0408 0.04082 49 48 0 1
7018 The whole unicorn thing is such sappy, sentimental crap that I had to pump 20 rounds into it. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7019 That could be us in twenty years. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7020 Nothing escapes trumps trophy hunters 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7021 Of course! Now it makes perfect sense. I thought it couldn't get any worse when she showed up with Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Goldblum in a 48' Talbot-Lago Grand Sport.. but this..THIS really takes the cake! 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7022 Three bears, three pigs - too boring. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7023 Oh, so unique. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7024 Finding a base that fit was the hardest part. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7025 You should have seen the one that slunk away. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7026 Definitely a Democrat's work! 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7027 Google. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7028 My lawyer bought her for me. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7029 Kay wanted "My Little Pony," but I spotted this unicorn first, so--Voila! 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7030 Bulls to the left, bucks to the right, and I'm the only unicorn in town. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7031 Oh, yeah, they're big right now. I follow these girls on Tumblr, and... 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7032 Everybody says they want to save the Rec Center but nobody wants to do the leg work. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7033 Tried drinking the damn blood too, but look at me...does it look like it gave me eternal youth? 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7034 I'm glad to see that they are not smirking. I hate smirking trophy heads. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7035 No virgin needed. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7036 Well Walter Palmer, what do you think of this? 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7037 I heard unicorns are hard to spot this time of year. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7038 You just stand there lookin' cute, an' when somethin' moves, you shoot. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7039 I guess I'm just a Brony at heart. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7040 The one in the middle was worth over a billion dollars before the market turned. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7041 ...and I bagged this impressive trophy on a game drive in Western Equestria in 2014. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
7042 She was warned about being indiscriminate in her choice of lovers but at least they have horns in common. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
7043 I can die and go to heaven. 1.0227 0.02299 44 43 1 0
7044 A gift from my first love. 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
7045 This one was 'the Uber of dry cleaning.' 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7046 Yes one of the grandchildren threw it up there a few weeks back and we just kinda liked it ....it's the state dessert of Missouri you know. 1.0000 0.02532 40 40 0 0
7047 Interesting, but mysterious. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7048 Huh! This deer really believed on itself 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7049 Wait till you see the other end. 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7050 Nice face job but it didn’t do her much good. 1.0000 0.02469 41 41 0 0
7051 Started hunting early, from the crib. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7052 Yeah, Rainbow Brite was really pissed when I bagged this one. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7053 I bagged the one on the right when he lost in a joust. 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7054 I still can't believe they're cousins. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7055 Wow, how did you catch a unicorn? 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7056 I added it after the birthday party, seemed like a waste of a perfectly good piñata head otherwise. 1.0000 0.01342 75 75 0 0
7057 To think you started it all with that hair dye and tattoo on your rear....my damn little pony! 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7058 That Unicorn blew my mind 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7059 She was nature's first proctologist, a total natural. But I lost it when she got on that Star Wars kick and said, "these aren't the 'rrhoids you're looking for. . ." So, here we are. 1.0000 0.02598 39 39 0 0
7060 Now what are we going to replace fossil fuels with? 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7061 Yup, back then she was valued at over a billion. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7062 I thought it was Buckbeak who was sentenced to death. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7063 Fire, on a black and white TV? Yeah, that will eventually wear me down. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
7064 It was either him or me. 1.0000 0.01170 86 86 0 0
7065 “Ah yes, the Tibetan Red Deer, the Albanian Musk Ox, and the Arctic Unicorn. A shame that I’ll never get the new big four with the demise of the Hawaiian Poi Dog. 1.0000 0.01015 99 99 0 0
7066 Shot that down by the lake where I landed a 105 pound mermaid last spring. Got her mounted on the wall in another room. 1.0000 0.00772 130 130 0 0
7067 Her smile is so enigmatic; and do you see how her eyes seem to follow me... 1.0000 0.00791 127 127 0 0
7068 Yeah it makes his job easy, but I go back and forth on whether the Christmas music is torture or not. 1.0000 0.02469 41 41 0 0
7069 "Who's in for a game of Hook the Ring."? 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0