These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2018-05-27T18:47:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2018-06-17T19:06:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2018-06-11T18:47:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | June 18th, 2018 |
Number of captions | 7070 |
Number of responses | 1376577 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Strangely enough, you are the first person to ask about the clock. | 1.9581 | 0.00843 | 9373 | 3327 | 3112 | 2934 |
1 | Well of course they don’t exist. Now. | 1.9346 | 0.00823 | 9735 | 3546 | 3280 | 2909 |
2 | It’s on the enchanted species list. | 1.8988 | 0.00803 | 9602 | 3504 | 3566 | 2532 |
3 | The damn thing had been leaving rainbows all over my lawn. | 1.8898 | 0.00860 | 8564 | 3237 | 3034 | 2293 |
4 | Well, sure, but I never would have believed in a Trump presidency, either. | 1.8830 | 0.00887 | 8539 | 3428 | 2682 | 2429 |
5 | And this is a unicorn, a rare being most don’t even believe exists. Come to think of it, you have a lot in common with him, Black Guy In A New Yorker Cartoon. | 1.8778 | 0.00851 | 9626 | 4018 | 2766 | 2842 |
6 | I figured nobody would believe me so I shot it. | 1.8731 | 0.00951 | 7327 | 2949 | 2359 | 2019 |
7 | Bagged the Emu while on Safari. Bagged the unicorn while on LSD. | 1.8656 | 0.00899 | 8117 | 3280 | 2648 | 2189 |
8 | It's hard to get off a good shot once that carousel gets moving. | 1.8598 | 0.00829 | 9286 | 3708 | 3172 | 2406 |
9 | It was hit or myth. | 1.8490 | 0.00809 | 9988 | 4133 | 3230 | 2625 |
10 | I glued the horn on. I didn't want the grand-kids to know I accidentally shot a horse. | 1.8428 | 0.00906 | 8115 | 3438 | 2515 | 2162 |
11 | Where did you get the clock? | 1.8288 | 0.00847 | 9274 | 4012 | 2838 | 2424 |
12 | I also have a centaur, but it makes people uncomfortable. | 1.8168 | 0.00843 | 9006 | 3858 | 2940 | 2208 |
13 | And then, just when I thought he'd gotten away, the carousel circled around again and I got a clean shot. | 1.8167 | 0.00896 | 7868 | 3335 | 2640 | 1893 |
14 | Some say they are extinct. Some don’t believe they ever existed at all. It’s called an “Analog Clock”. | 1.8084 | 0.01186 | 4854 | 2211 | 1362 | 1281 |
15 | Of course I felt bad...I was aiming for the leprechaun. | 1.8069 | 0.00905 | 7674 | 3298 | 2560 | 1816 |
16 | Turns out they're magical but not particularly swift. | 1.8007 | 0.00875 | 7663 | 3164 | 2862 | 1637 |
17 | In my defense, it came out of nowhere. | 1.8003 | 0.00840 | 8794 | 3783 | 2984 | 2027 |
18 | I found it in the same place where Fox News gets its stories. | 1.7856 | 0.00985 | 7121 | 3388 | 1872 | 1861 |
19 | I’m still cleaning the glitter out of the truck. | 1.7697 | 0.00869 | 8012 | 3560 | 2737 | 1715 |
20 | Killing this one took some imagination. | 1.7688 | 0.01057 | 5454 | 2437 | 1841 | 1176 |
21 | Most people thought it didn't exist. And now it doesn't. | 1.7542 | 0.01676 | 2213 | 1026 | 705 | 482 |
22 | Coney Island carousel; 1969. Got him on the rise. | 1.7538 | 0.00906 | 7343 | 3340 | 2471 | 1532 |
23 | Don’t worry, it died of imaginary causes. | 1.7490 | 0.01000 | 6140 | 2847 | 1987 | 1306 |
24 | It’s okay. They’re mythical, not endangered. | 1.7466 | 0.00884 | 7427 | 3332 | 2645 | 1450 |
25 | Yes, I am that much of an asshole. | 1.7453 | 0.00997 | 6706 | 3306 | 1802 | 1598 |
26 | Extinct? Well, yeah - now. | 1.7253 | 0.00928 | 7113 | 3422 | 2223 | 1468 |
27 | The gun mythfired. | 1.7242 | 0.00926 | 7354 | 3613 | 2156 | 1585 |
28 | It would be a much better story if I hadn't hit it with the car. | 1.7124 | 0.00983 | 6216 | 3019 | 1966 | 1231 |
29 | And that's the last time I spoke with my daughter. | 1.7076 | 0.01436 | 2856 | 1380 | 931 | 545 |
30 | I joined a fantasy hunting league. | 1.6962 | 0.00982 | 6158 | 3049 | 1931 | 1178 |
31 | Well, I killed off something that doesn't exist and next thing I knew I was named chairman of the Republican plan to help the poor. | 1.6960 | 0.01374 | 3484 | 1836 | 871 | 777 |
32 | Now it's MY little pony. | 1.6955 | 0.00934 | 7231 | 3716 | 2001 | 1514 |
33 | I was aiming for a deer but I mythed. | 1.6952 | 0.01459 | 2907 | 1477 | 839 | 591 |
34 | Surprisingly, a lot like chicken. | 1.6938 | 0.01025 | 5819 | 2942 | 1717 | 1160 |
35 | You're right. With my glasses on, it's definitely not a rhino. | 1.6877 | 0.00990 | 5805 | 2841 | 1936 | 1028 |
36 | It turns out there is a magic bullet. | 1.6862 | 0.01383 | 3066 | 1530 | 968 | 568 |
37 | It's not what you think - I used too long a mounting screw | 1.6768 | 0.01079 | 5452 | 2897 | 1420 | 1135 |
38 | No, no... they used to be imaginary. Now they're extinct. | 1.6763 | 0.01065 | 5187 | 2636 | 1594 | 957 |
39 | First you have to believe, then you shoot. | 1.6622 | 0.01001 | 5584 | 2824 | 1822 | 938 |
40 | I’m not allowed back at Disneyland. | 1.6558 | 0.00970 | 6238 | 3273 | 1839 | 1126 |
41 | No, ... Right here in Greenwich, ... at my daughters 8th Birthday Party. | 1.6558 | 0.01572 | 2292 | 1179 | 723 | 390 |
42 | It was a mess, actually. Glitter everywhere. | 1.6553 | 0.01044 | 5153 | 2642 | 1645 | 866 |
43 | 3D printer. My wife thinks its real. | 1.6453 | 0.01116 | 4728 | 2528 | 1349 | 851 |
44 | I came across it the same place you can find Trump's tax return and Paul Ryan's spine. | 1.6413 | 0.01217 | 4307 | 2422 | 1008 | 877 |
45 | The rich hunt the exotic. But the super rich hunt the imaginary. | 1.6399 | 0.01110 | 4593 | 2423 | 1401 | 769 |
46 | ...And that was the last day my daughter ever spoke to me. | 1.6394 | 0.01064 | 5117 | 2738 | 1486 | 893 |
47 | It's only illegal if it actually exists. | 1.6386 | 0.01150 | 4106 | 2124 | 1342 | 640 |
48 | Did I every tell you about my safari to Narnia? | 1.6329 | 0.01788 | 1716 | 901 | 544 | 271 |
49 | It was either hit or myth | 1.6311 | 0.01072 | 5094 | 2776 | 1421 | 897 |
50 | These days, there’s wildlife, and there’s alternative wildlife. | 1.6305 | 0.01110 | 4704 | 2554 | 1334 | 816 |
51 | The president just tweeted that he bagged a bigger one with more horns | 1.6305 | 0.01309 | 3737 | 2141 | 836 | 760 |
52 | I was lucky, I got the very last one. | 1.6278 | 0.01610 | 2125 | 1128 | 660 | 337 |
53 | It sums up the whole entitled, rich white guy thing pretty well, I think. | 1.6161 | 0.01240 | 3780 | 2102 | 1027 | 651 |
54 | Next I'm hunting for a politician that tells the truth. | 1.6148 | 0.01489 | 2687 | 1517 | 688 | 482 |
55 | Like veal but with a different kind of guilt. | 1.6107 | 0.01240 | 3676 | 2033 | 1041 | 602 |
56 | The hard part was getting a hunting license in Narnia. | 1.6094 | 0.01220 | 3904 | 2195 | 1039 | 670 |
57 | Difficult kill. Damn thing kept going up and down and around and around. | 1.6051 | 0.01831 | 1689 | 943 | 470 | 276 |
58 | Of course, back then, we didn't hunt them because they're rare - we shot them because we thought they were gay | 1.5974 | 0.01459 | 2809 | 1633 | 674 | 502 |
59 | Yes.....but he identifies as an Impala.... | 1.5939 | 0.01506 | 2433 | 1366 | 689 | 378 |
60 | Its magical beauty filled me with awe and wonder. So I shot it. | 1.5922 | 0.01264 | 3661 | 2122 | 910 | 629 |
61 | My granddaughter is still not talking to me. | 1.5892 | 0.01789 | 1653 | 916 | 500 | 237 |
62 | For that one I needed a hunting license AND a poetic license. | 1.5833 | 0.01617 | 2090 | 1188 | 585 | 317 |
63 | The cleanup was the hardest part. There was glitter everywhere. | 1.5818 | 0.01493 | 2401 | 1354 | 697 | 350 |
64 | And that was the moment I realized it was a children's birthday party. | 1.5779 | 0.01567 | 2303 | 1342 | 591 | 370 |
65 | I bagged that one on a four-day acid trip back in '67. | 1.5760 | 0.01639 | 1979 | 1123 | 572 | 284 |
66 | They were protected, under Obama. | 1.5759 | 0.01417 | 2768 | 1605 | 732 | 431 |
67 | Yeah, that was a tough one. The kid on the merry-go-round put up quite a fight. | 1.5758 | 0.01291 | 3180 | 1803 | 923 | 454 |
68 | It's great living in an era when they've loosened gun AND drug laws | 1.5734 | 0.01862 | 1561 | 897 | 433 | 231 |
69 | It turned out to be two guys in a unicorn suit for a birthday party, but I had it mounted anyway. | 1.5718 | 0.01409 | 2819 | 1650 | 726 | 443 |
70 | The irony is, I shot it with an imaginary gun. | 1.5705 | 0.01381 | 2829 | 1631 | 782 | 416 |
71 | Of course, my daughter said she will never speak to me again. | 1.5698 | 0.01374 | 2808 | 1608 | 800 | 400 |
72 | No, surprisingly they're not protected | 1.5669 | 0.01405 | 2646 | 1512 | 768 | 366 |
73 | Shooting it was easy. Bringing it back through the Looking Glass was the hard part. | 1.5628 | 0.01525 | 2269 | 1311 | 639 | 319 |
74 | Long story short, that's why my daughter doesn't speak to me anymore. | 1.5628 | 0.01876 | 1457 | 831 | 432 | 194 |
75 | Zimbabwe, South Africa and, of course, Narnia. | 1.5626 | 0.01493 | 2403 | 1399 | 656 | 348 |
76 | It just came out of nowhere. | 1.5562 | 0.01580 | 2154 | 1269 | 572 | 313 |
77 | Any more of those brownies? | 1.5561 | 0.01605 | 2149 | 1283 | 537 | 329 |
78 | Ran him down on my unicycle. | 1.5555 | 0.01614 | 2119 | 1265 | 531 | 323 |
79 | Like Chinese astrology, I assign an animal to mark each year. The antelope wall mount recalls a fast moving year full of action, the unicorn showcases a mystical year, and on its right, that mount depicts a year full of …well, you get the idea. | 1.5550 | 0.01664 | 2036 | 1228 | 486 | 322 |
80 | And I shot that one somewhere over the rainbow. | 1.5545 | 0.01580 | 2083 | 1212 | 587 | 284 |
81 | That idiot Donald Jr. sold it to me for half price because there's only one horn. | 1.5534 | 0.01665 | 2051 | 1245 | 477 | 329 |
82 | Yeah, I know. My granddaughter still won't speak to me. | 1.5514 | 0.01631 | 1984 | 1168 | 538 | 278 |
83 | It’s perfectly legal under new federal regs. | 1.5506 | 0.01656 | 1938 | 1146 | 517 | 275 |
84 | It’s extinct now. It was called an analog clock. Not sure what that is above it. | 1.5502 | 0.01679 | 1921 | 1146 | 493 | 282 |
85 | Spied her in a clearing right next to a fiscally responsible Republican. | 1.5490 | 0.01762 | 1889 | 1172 | 397 | 320 |
86 | And they said they didn't exist... well actually, now they don't. | 1.5462 | 0.01722 | 1809 | 1082 | 466 | 261 |
87 | Lucky shot. I was aiming for the leprechaun. | 1.5458 | 0.01704 | 1770 | 1039 | 496 | 235 |
88 | Took it with my Myth & Wesson | 1.5449 | 0.01783 | 1749 | 1065 | 415 | 269 |
89 | To this day, I still find glitter in the back of my truck. | 1.5444 | 0.01731 | 1736 | 1027 | 473 | 236 |
90 | I’m banned from the carousel in the park for life but it was worth it. | 1.5441 | 0.01733 | 1759 | 1048 | 465 | 246 |
91 | I think it really proclaims to the world what a total asshole I am. | 1.5427 | 0.01784 | 1769 | 1087 | 404 | 278 |
92 | I bagged that one in the Sixties on an acid trip. | 1.5413 | 0.01792 | 1670 | 1006 | 424 | 240 |
93 | Damned if I know. We were all stoned at the time. | 1.5399 | 0.01777 | 1630 | 967 | 446 | 217 |
94 | Yes, but to be honest my daughter already hated me. | 1.5396 | 0.01828 | 1618 | 981 | 401 | 236 |
95 | I rode that merry-go-round for two days before I got a clean shot. | 1.5389 | 0.01792 | 1605 | 954 | 437 | 214 |
96 | I tracked her through the lollipop forest, then the gumdrop foothills; I thought I had lost her and then suddenly there she stood, flanked by rainbows on the top of sugarloaf mountain -- and I took her! | 1.5378 | 0.01928 | 1575 | 993 | 317 | 265 |
97 | Yeah. My bad. | 1.5368 | 0.01857 | 1537 | 928 | 393 | 216 |
98 | There's an interesting story behind where I got that clock. | 1.5367 | 0.01821 | 1554 | 927 | 420 | 207 |
99 | He was standing in the clearing with a principled Republican, so I decided to shoot the less-endangered one. | 1.5356 | 0.01904 | 1533 | 947 | 351 | 235 |
100 | If you wear rainbow camouflage they never see you coming. | 1.5328 | 0.01837 | 1464 | 863 | 422 | 179 |
101 | I got that one last year in Narnia. | 1.5319 | 0.01873 | 1442 | 860 | 397 | 185 |
102 | That’s a misconception. They’re all over the place out in Silicon Valley. | 1.5314 | 0.01836 | 1432 | 838 | 427 | 167 |
103 | Wow! So that clock is made of real mahogany? | 1.5305 | 0.01936 | 1408 | 857 | 355 | 196 |
104 | I bagged him before the drugs wore off. | 1.5301 | 0.01854 | 1394 | 815 | 419 | 160 |
105 | It was a good thing I had my glitter gun. | 1.5282 | 0.02010 | 1348 | 835 | 314 | 199 |
106 | So much for that fairy tale ending | 1.5260 | 0.01992 | 1308 | 796 | 336 | 176 |
107 | The magical and enchanting unicorn appears to only a rare few and has the ability to bestow magic, miracles and wisdom to those who are pure of heart and virtuous in their deeds. So, I shot it. | 1.5253 | 0.02045 | 1302 | 810 | 300 | 192 |
108 | Yes, finding a Unicorn is more likely than winning the New Yorker Caption Contest. | 1.5247 | 0.01987 | 1315 | 802 | 336 | 177 |
109 | Wait til you see my honest politician in the next room. | 1.5220 | 0.02097 | 1249 | 784 | 278 | 187 |
110 | The hard part was shooting the leprechaun off his back. | 1.5205 | 0.02020 | 1222 | 738 | 332 | 152 |
111 | Ed was a remarkable horse in so many ways. More than anything he loved drag, so when he went we knew we had to so something fabulous. | 1.5185 | 0.02121 | 1186 | 739 | 279 | 168 |
112 | I didn't realize hunting had a fantasy league. | 1.5181 | 0.02000 | 1214 | 728 | 343 | 143 |
113 | To kill it, you have to believe in it first. | 1.5181 | 0.02027 | 1214 | 736 | 327 | 151 |
114 | That was the day my daughter stopped talking to me. | 1.5171 | 0.02073 | 1199 | 738 | 302 | 159 |
115 | The mythical creature permit was surprisingly easy to get under the Trump administrations new rules for fake animals. | 1.5152 | 0.02209 | 1120 | 709 | 245 | 166 |
116 | I told my daughter that if she didn't eat her vegetables, a unicorn would die. She eats them now. | 1.5138 | 0.02177 | 1125 | 706 | 260 | 159 |
117 | Yes, NOW there's no such thing as unicorns. | 1.5134 | 0.02132 | 1083 | 658 | 294 | 131 |
118 | Not exactly a fairy-tale ending, was it Stan? | 1.5133 | 0.02107 | 1089 | 657 | 305 | 127 |
119 | My wife thought the room looked too masculine. | 1.5129 | 0.02097 | 1082 | 649 | 311 | 122 |
120 | Of course it's fake, but the Base thinks it is real. | 1.5115 | 0.02317 | 1042 | 670 | 211 | 161 |
121 | Entirely legal. Pruitt took them off the rare and endangered list. | 1.5106 | 0.02218 | 1083 | 683 | 247 | 153 |
122 | My granddaughter’s 6th birthday party didn’t go quite as expected. | 1.5105 | 0.02128 | 1091 | 667 | 291 | 133 |
123 | This one we bagged on one of our LSD trips. | 1.5104 | 0.02158 | 1060 | 648 | 283 | 129 |
124 | Turns out there was one. | 1.5091 | 0.02129 | 1043 | 628 | 299 | 116 |
125 | Endangered is a thrill, but mythical really gets the old ticker pumping. | 1.5065 | 0.02189 | 993 | 602 | 279 | 112 |
126 | I haven't seen one of those since Woodstock. | 1.5063 | 0.02207 | 1029 | 637 | 263 | 129 |
127 | The only thing that stops a magical beast with a horn is a good guy with a gun. | 1.5060 | 0.02339 | 992 | 635 | 212 | 145 |
128 | I'm tellin' you. The whole trip was just magical. | 1.5037 | 0.02257 | 945 | 578 | 258 | 109 |
129 | All I remember is that it was the '60s, in San Francisco.... | 1.5028 | 0.03000 | 533 | 326 | 146 | 61 |
130 | To this day I’m not allowed within 300 feet of a merry-go-round, but it was totally worth it, don’t you think? | 1.5010 | 0.02263 | 966 | 600 | 248 | 118 |
131 | They're only endangered if you actually believe in them. | 1.5005 | 0.02271 | 937 | 577 | 251 | 109 |
132 | And that's why my daughter hasn't spoken to me in thirty years | 1.5005 | 0.02364 | 937 | 596 | 213 | 128 |
133 | My daughter hasn't spoken to me since. | 1.5000 | 0.02330 | 950 | 601 | 223 | 126 |
134 | You toss out a handful of Skittles in the right spot, and they just come running. | 1.4983 | 0.02277 | 899 | 548 | 254 | 97 |
135 | Trump administration lifted the ban. | 1.4978 | 0.02360 | 924 | 586 | 216 | 122 |
136 | That one was once the mascot of Trump University. | 1.4960 | 0.02473 | 881 | 571 | 183 | 127 |
137 | You don’t know what true fear is until you’re staring into the eyes of Princess Rainbow Sparkles from 20 feet away. | 1.4949 | 0.02431 | 891 | 573 | 195 | 123 |
138 | well now they don't exist | 1.4936 | 0.02444 | 857 | 546 | 199 | 112 |
139 | Is that a cow up there? You shot a cow? | 1.4932 | 0.02579 | 813 | 530 | 165 | 118 |
140 | The first and last one cost me $85,000. The one in the middle cost me my grandkids. | 1.4932 | 0.02404 | 876 | 556 | 208 | 112 |
141 | His trophy wife is fake too. | 1.4931 | 0.02419 | 866 | 550 | 205 | 111 |
142 | There’s a really interesting story behind how I came to be in possession of that clock, if you have a few minutes. | 1.4930 | 0.02422 | 854 | 540 | 207 | 107 |
143 | The horn was added postmortem so my neighbor wouldn't figure out what happened to his horse. | 1.4930 | 0.02462 | 854 | 547 | 193 | 114 |
144 | Turns out they weren't actually extinct. They are now though. | 1.4923 | 0.02372 | 845 | 524 | 226 | 95 |
145 | What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know. | 1.4918 | 0.02567 | 858 | 571 | 152 | 135 |
146 | Needless to say, they'll never let me back on that carousel | 1.4904 | 0.02527 | 830 | 539 | 175 | 116 |
147 | Yes, they do exist. Sorry, 'did'. | 1.4893 | 0.02386 | 844 | 528 | 219 | 97 |
148 | Well, they did exist. | 1.4892 | 0.02423 | 832 | 524 | 209 | 99 |
149 | Lost my trophy wife over this. | 1.4892 | 0.02435 | 832 | 526 | 205 | 101 |
150 | I had the horn added later just to mess with my kids. | 1.4885 | 0.02449 | 823 | 521 | 202 | 100 |
151 | I was saving that spot for a picture of an ethical Republican President but settled for something more abundant. | 1.4869 | 0.02567 | 801 | 522 | 168 | 111 |
152 | Of course, they'll never let us on that merry-go-round again. | 1.4866 | 0.02598 | 781 | 509 | 164 | 108 |
153 | Of course, my position on unicorns has evolved since then. | 1.4853 | 0.02362 | 783 | 476 | 234 | 73 |
154 | The day after Trump lifted the ban, I was on a plane. | 1.4840 | 0.02508 | 781 | 497 | 190 | 94 |
155 | I don't know what you put in this drink, George, but if you don't mind, I'd like another. | 1.4832 | 0.02435 | 772 | 479 | 213 | 80 |
156 | Turns out they’re real...and delicious. | 1.4823 | 0.02598 | 734 | 470 | 174 | 90 |
157 | And here we have an alternative fact | 1.4816 | 0.02652 | 735 | 479 | 158 | 98 |
158 | LIMERICK: "I shot this magical beast...It made for a wonderful feast...Why should I mind,..If its the last of its kind...I'm an asshole, and don't care in the least." | 1.4812 | 0.02586 | 744 | 478 | 174 | 92 |
159 | The taxidermist cried the whole time | 1.4794 | 0.02615 | 703 | 447 | 175 | 81 |
160 | Not an easy shot. The carousel, it keeps going round, you know. | 1.4790 | 0.02540 | 737 | 467 | 187 | 83 |
161 | Running over the horse was an accident. Gluing a horn on his head, now that was genius. | 1.4783 | 0.02619 | 690 | 437 | 176 | 77 |
162 | I couldn’t believe it, so I just shot it. | 1.4778 | 0.02571 | 722 | 459 | 181 | 82 |
163 | That's nothing. You ought to see my butterfly collection. Ever heard of Tinkerbell? | 1.4767 | 0.02591 | 709 | 451 | 178 | 80 |
164 | Woodstock, in '69. Haven't seen one since then. | 1.4761 | 0.02567 | 712 | 451 | 183 | 78 |
165 | Finally, my horn section is complete. | 1.4756 | 0.02667 | 698 | 452 | 160 | 86 |
166 | Difficult to find, and even harder to find a good recipe for. | 1.4753 | 0.02629 | 709 | 457 | 167 | 85 |
167 | That's correct: they don't exist... anymore. | 1.4744 | 0.02586 | 702 | 446 | 179 | 77 |
168 | When did you say the bad luck started? | 1.4741 | 0.02594 | 696 | 442 | 178 | 76 |
169 | I must take you hunting there. It’s unreal. | 1.4741 | 0.02586 | 696 | 441 | 180 | 75 |
170 | Fake Gnus | 1.4741 | 0.02740 | 694 | 459 | 141 | 94 |
171 | Yes, extrememly rare. Central Park carousel 1874. | 1.4738 | 0.02640 | 688 | 441 | 168 | 79 |
172 | No one thought Trumps would get elected either | 1.4732 | 0.02632 | 691 | 443 | 169 | 79 |
173 | Everyone asks about the clock. | 1.4727 | 0.02729 | 677 | 443 | 148 | 86 |
174 | I thought it was a deer until it farted a rainbow. | 1.4720 | 0.02770 | 661 | 434 | 142 | 85 |
175 | What’s in this tea? | 1.4711 | 0.02694 | 675 | 438 | 156 | 81 |
176 | My wife wouldn’t let me mount the leprechaun. | 1.4709 | 0.03034 | 516 | 331 | 127 | 58 |
177 | And in the next room I have functioning congress. | 1.4709 | 0.02817 | 669 | 448 | 127 | 94 |
178 | ...and than he said "you can't shoot me, I don't exist". | 1.4705 | 0.02625 | 661 | 418 | 175 | 68 |
179 | Yep, Amazon... | 1.4693 | 0.02684 | 667 | 431 | 159 | 77 |
180 | Funny story, I was aiming for the Leprechaun. | 1.4686 | 0.02648 | 653 | 415 | 170 | 68 |
181 | When I pulled the trigger, I knew it was either hit or myth. | 1.4685 | 0.02801 | 651 | 431 | 135 | 85 |
182 | We nabbed that beauty in the year of magical thinking. | 1.4676 | 0.03080 | 494 | 317 | 123 | 54 |
183 | Much to my surprise, gentlemen, a lot like chicken. | 1.4671 | 0.02693 | 638 | 408 | 162 | 68 |
184 | Admittedly, my taxidermist has been known to use artistic license. | 1.4666 | 0.02641 | 643 | 407 | 172 | 64 |
185 | amazon prime | 1.4649 | 0.02814 | 626 | 412 | 137 | 77 |
186 | It's fake, of course, but it sure keeps the grandchildren quiet. | 1.4649 | 0.02814 | 626 | 412 | 137 | 77 |
187 | Well, it's extinct now. | 1.4645 | 0.02852 | 620 | 411 | 130 | 79 |
188 | Yup, you're an Asshole. | 1.4640 | 0.02817 | 625 | 412 | 136 | 77 |
189 | It was actually left in my bed by the Fairy Godfather. | 1.4630 | 0.02897 | 594 | 393 | 127 | 74 |
190 | Don't get him started. It's a neverending story. | 1.4627 | 0.02777 | 603 | 389 | 149 | 65 |
191 | ..but of course, we give a lot to conservation. | 1.4625 | 0.02740 | 614 | 395 | 154 | 65 |
192 | "And the Maiden riding her became my trophy wife". | 1.4623 | 0.02859 | 610 | 404 | 130 | 76 |
193 | Got 'em with my glitter gun. | 1.4621 | 0.02901 | 593 | 393 | 126 | 74 |
194 | This taxidermy display offends me almost as much as that horse's ass in the White House. | 1.4620 | 0.03012 | 606 | 417 | 98 | 91 |
195 | Surprisingly, not covered under the Endangered Species Act of 1973. | 1.4619 | 0.02803 | 604 | 393 | 143 | 68 |
196 | Yeah well, it was the sixties and we were out hunting on acid. | 1.4618 | 0.02839 | 602 | 395 | 136 | 71 |
197 | The meat tastes like cotton candy and snow cones, with a hint of marshmallow. | 1.4613 | 0.02797 | 594 | 384 | 146 | 64 |
198 | You wouldn't believe the amount of glitter in those things... | 1.4610 | 0.02786 | 603 | 391 | 146 | 66 |
199 | Isn't that clock an hour ahead? | 1.4596 | 0.02847 | 594 | 390 | 135 | 69 |
200 | Here, gentlemen, are the results of two African safaris... and one wild ride on a carousel. | 1.4596 | 0.02766 | 594 | 382 | 151 | 61 |
201 | Mystical, yes,,,, but surprisingly slow. | 1.4595 | 0.02793 | 592 | 383 | 146 | 63 |
202 | I followed it's glitter trail for over 4 miles before i cornered it under a rainbow. | 1.4595 | 0.02783 | 592 | 382 | 148 | 62 |
203 | After wiping out the endangered species, I was forced to hunt those that never existed. | 1.4590 | 0.02914 | 573 | 378 | 127 | 68 |
204 | And this one died when I grew up. | 1.4584 | 0.02880 | 565 | 368 | 135 | 62 |
205 | Got that one tripping' in the sixties ! | 1.4584 | 0.02666 | 589 | 369 | 170 | 50 |
206 | Sure, I feel guilty sometimes ... then I remind myself that I'm too rich to care. | 1.4569 | 0.02825 | 580 | 377 | 141 | 62 |
207 | Where did Frank say he went on his last safari? | 1.4569 | 0.02793 | 580 | 374 | 147 | 59 |
208 | Yes. Sixty years ago my imaginary friend shot this one. | 1.4566 | 0.02923 | 576 | 383 | 123 | 70 |
209 | That animal on the right . . . . Did you shoot a cow? | 1.4566 | 0.02892 | 576 | 380 | 129 | 67 |
210 | Is that clock right? | 1.4558 | 0.02993 | 566 | 381 | 112 | 73 |
211 | I didn't think Trump would win, either. | 1.4545 | 0.02894 | 561 | 368 | 131 | 62 |
212 | My other hobby is to take candy from children. | 1.4544 | 0.02923 | 559 | 369 | 126 | 64 |
213 | My daughter hasn't spoken to me since. | 1.4532 | 0.02913 | 556 | 366 | 128 | 62 |
214 | They also said evidence of collusion with the Russians doesn't exist. | 1.4531 | 0.03019 | 554 | 374 | 109 | 71 |
215 | Fake Gnus | 1.4522 | 0.03116 | 544 | 374 | 94 | 76 |
216 | I didn't see it myself until I believed it. | 1.4519 | 0.02965 | 551 | 367 | 119 | 65 |
217 | This clock belonged to my grandfather. | 1.4516 | 0.03026 | 547 | 369 | 109 | 69 |
218 | My granddaughter still isn't speaking to me. | 1.4514 | 0.02839 | 545 | 351 | 142 | 52 |
219 | Naw, it's really Nelly, our old mare. I got the horn from Amazon. | 1.4507 | 0.02905 | 537 | 350 | 132 | 55 |
220 | I don’t like to make too much of it, but let me just say — that carousel was moving really fast! | 1.4505 | 0.02905 | 546 | 358 | 130 | 58 |
221 | ...and I got this one pretty cheap since it’s missing a horn. | 1.4505 | 0.03042 | 535 | 360 | 109 | 66 |
222 | For the record, it was strictly self defense. | 1.4504 | 0.02933 | 524 | 341 | 130 | 53 |
223 | I think we used too big of a screw. | 1.4500 | 0.02987 | 540 | 360 | 117 | 63 |
224 | Hey Bill, what’s in these drinks! | 1.4496 | 0.02885 | 536 | 348 | 135 | 53 |
225 | I got that one off of eBay along with a Certificate of Authentication. | 1.4495 | 0.02928 | 525 | 342 | 130 | 53 |
226 | I understand that either Eric or Donald, Jr. shot her at Fantasyland on safari in Orlando. | 1.4487 | 0.03093 | 526 | 357 | 102 | 67 |
227 | Fox News blames Obamacare for their extinction. | 1.4484 | 0.03050 | 533 | 360 | 107 | 66 |
228 | Do you know how hard it is to find a taxidermist in Narnia? | 1.4476 | 0.03013 | 525 | 350 | 115 | 60 |
229 | I got lucky. It was the last one. | 1.4476 | 0.03013 | 525 | 350 | 115 | 60 |
230 | Bagged that one in Narnia. | 1.4474 | 0.03022 | 523 | 349 | 114 | 60 |
231 | My granddaughter will be so excited to see this. She's afraid they're not real. | 1.4455 | 0.02998 | 514 | 340 | 119 | 55 |
232 | Relax, I got it from IKEA. | 1.4455 | 0.02985 | 514 | 339 | 121 | 54 |
233 | I know they say shoot for your dreams, Stewart. But, damn. | 1.4453 | 0.02978 | 494 | 321 | 126 | 47 |
234 | It's just from a big plush stuffed animal toy, but it really freaked out the grandkids. | 1.4442 | 0.03078 | 475 | 312 | 115 | 48 |
235 | Bagged her during the year I spent as a woodland elf . . . after Yale, before Wharton. | 1.4440 | 0.02959 | 482 | 310 | 130 | 42 |
236 | This replaced a crucifix--the story is no less credible and a bit more fun to tell. | 1.4433 | 0.03097 | 503 | 339 | 105 | 59 |
237 | It turn out there is, in fact, a magic bullet! | 1.4431 | 0.03001 | 501 | 330 | 120 | 51 |
238 | The owner of the carousel was very upset. | 1.4422 | 0.03063 | 493 | 328 | 112 | 53 |
239 | That's nothing, we're having mermaid for dinner. | 1.4422 | 0.03090 | 493 | 330 | 108 | 55 |
240 | I didn't want to kill it, but who would have believed me? | 1.4419 | 0.03169 | 482 | 326 | 99 | 57 |
241 | I shot that one in Haight-Ashbury in the late 60's | 1.4411 | 0.03027 | 492 | 325 | 117 | 50 |
242 | I figure, why limit myself to fantasy football? | 1.4411 | 0.03013 | 492 | 324 | 119 | 49 |
243 | We have those same candlesticks. | 1.4411 | 0.03067 | 492 | 328 | 111 | 53 |
244 | Since they don't exist, I don't have to feel bad about killing one. | 1.4407 | 0.03020 | 481 | 315 | 120 | 46 |
245 | Honestly I did him a favor. Who wants to be the last of anything? | 1.4389 | 0.03067 | 483 | 321 | 112 | 50 |
246 | Technically, it wasn’t on the endangered species list. | 1.4387 | 0.02961 | 481 | 312 | 127 | 42 |
247 | Twenty-five years, and my daughter still hasn't forgiven me. | 1.4387 | 0.03146 | 481 | 325 | 101 | 55 |
248 | He granted me three wishes. I never got the last two. | 1.4383 | 0.03040 | 470 | 308 | 118 | 44 |
249 | I baited it with cupcakes, new-age music, and really positive vibes. | 1.4374 | 0.03035 | 471 | 309 | 118 | 44 |
250 | I thought I'd mythed. | 1.4368 | 0.03200 | 467 | 317 | 96 | 54 |
251 | I had it mounted years ago. I've just been keeping it in the basement until the girls went away to college. | 1.4364 | 0.03045 | 472 | 311 | 116 | 45 |
252 | By killing unicorns, we help conserve them for future generations | 1.4356 | 0.03234 | 466 | 319 | 91 | 56 |
253 | I used a crossbow for the one on the left and a hunting rifle for the one on the right. For the one in the middle, I just stopped believing. | 1.4356 | 0.03161 | 466 | 314 | 101 | 51 |
254 | I'm an asshole. | 1.4354 | 0.03281 | 457 | 314 | 87 | 56 |
255 | Well, you’re definitely going to hell for that one. | 1.4354 | 0.03038 | 457 | 298 | 119 | 40 |
256 | So I guess you’re probably wondering about the gardens gnomes now. | 1.4351 | 0.03196 | 462 | 313 | 97 | 52 |
257 | There was glitter everywhere! | 1.4351 | 0.03225 | 462 | 315 | 93 | 54 |
258 | Merry-go-round. Santa Monica Pier. 2008. | 1.4348 | 0.03147 | 460 | 308 | 104 | 48 |
259 | Bagging her was actually easy. But the manager of the carousel put up one hell of a fight. | 1.4348 | 0.03162 | 460 | 309 | 102 | 49 |
260 | No, I don't hunt. Turns out if you tickle 'em hard enough, the head falls right off. | 1.4348 | 0.03024 | 460 | 300 | 120 | 40 |
261 | Don’t ask, it was the sixties | 1.4338 | 0.03003 | 461 | 300 | 122 | 39 |
262 | Turns out rainbows make terrible camouflage. | 1.4336 | 0.03202 | 452 | 305 | 98 | 49 |
263 | OK, they were off of a carousel. How did you guess? | 1.4336 | 0.03151 | 459 | 308 | 103 | 48 |
264 | I was banned from all Disney parks for life, but it was worth it! | 1.4336 | 0.03105 | 459 | 305 | 109 | 45 |
265 | Yeah, but my daughter wouldn't speak to me for months after that one. | 1.4333 | 0.03115 | 457 | 304 | 108 | 45 |
266 | Note the left-handed twist, which is quite rare. | 1.4333 | 0.03161 | 457 | 307 | 102 | 48 |
267 | It's actually a gay rhinoceros. | 1.4333 | 0.03176 | 457 | 308 | 100 | 49 |
268 | I was actually aiming for universal healthcare. | 1.4330 | 0.03306 | 455 | 315 | 83 | 57 |
269 | I don't think you can truly appreciate a rare and beautiful thing until you've killed it and mounted its carcass on your wall. | 1.4330 | 0.03062 | 455 | 299 | 115 | 41 |
270 | I'll never forget this hunt. It was magical. | 1.4327 | 0.03088 | 453 | 299 | 112 | 42 |
271 | It was eating my roses. | 1.4321 | 0.03223 | 442 | 298 | 97 | 47 |
272 | The taxidermist was a real wizard. | 1.4321 | 0.03042 | 449 | 293 | 118 | 38 |
273 | I bagged it in Narnia. The hard part was getting it through the wardrobe. | 1.4321 | 0.03139 | 449 | 299 | 106 | 44 |
274 | Did I ever tell you why my daughter stopped talking to me? | 1.4318 | 0.03274 | 447 | 306 | 89 | 52 |
275 | I bagged that one in my granddaughter's bedroom. | 1.4318 | 0.03258 | 447 | 305 | 91 | 51 |
276 | I see an antelope, a bull, and more bull. | 1.4318 | 0.03289 | 447 | 307 | 87 | 53 |
277 | Yeah, got that one back in the 60s... | 1.4318 | 0.03035 | 447 | 291 | 119 | 37 |
278 | I mean, amazon just has EVERYTHING. | 1.4305 | 0.03201 | 446 | 301 | 98 | 47 |
279 | My daughter still hasn't forgiven me. | 1.4305 | 0.03137 | 446 | 297 | 106 | 43 |
280 | How the hell was I supposed to know it was a mythical creature. | 1.4305 | 0.03121 | 446 | 296 | 108 | 42 |
281 | My granddaughter is not speaking to me. | 1.4302 | 0.03115 | 444 | 294 | 109 | 41 |
282 | I hated to do it, but there was only one left. | 1.4302 | 0.03147 | 444 | 296 | 105 | 43 |
283 | Well, if they did exist, they don't anymore. | 1.4302 | 0.03243 | 444 | 302 | 93 | 49 |
284 | Well, they may be mythical, but at least they're not endangered. | 1.4299 | 0.03075 | 442 | 290 | 114 | 38 |
285 | Yeah, we got real lucky. They say there was only one left. | 1.4299 | 0.03108 | 442 | 292 | 110 | 40 |
286 | Big game reserve. Candyland. | 1.4299 | 0.03092 | 442 | 291 | 112 | 39 |
287 | Under this administration, it's open season on EVERYTHING! | 1.4292 | 0.03259 | 438 | 298 | 92 | 48 |
288 | The story behind this one is unbelievable. | 1.4289 | 0.03103 | 443 | 293 | 110 | 40 |
289 | It didn't help at all, she actually wants to live with her mother even more now | 1.4286 | 0.03199 | 434 | 291 | 100 | 43 |
290 | But now it seems I'm on a hit list of a group of 11 year old girls. | 1.4286 | 0.03281 | 434 | 296 | 90 | 48 |
291 | Nice clock | 1.4286 | 0.03267 | 448 | 308 | 88 | 52 |
292 | I was on safari with Timothy Leary. | 1.4273 | 0.03220 | 433 | 292 | 97 | 44 |
293 | The rest is used to make glitter glue. | 1.4273 | 0.03302 | 433 | 297 | 87 | 49 |
294 | It was either a unicorn or an honest politician and I found the unicorn first! | 1.4269 | 0.03297 | 431 | 295 | 88 | 48 |
295 | I bagged this one on an acid trip. | 1.4269 | 0.03146 | 431 | 286 | 106 | 39 |
296 | No, now they're extinct. | 1.4266 | 0.03242 | 429 | 290 | 95 | 44 |
297 | Yeah, I thought about it, but then I said "What the hell". | 1.4266 | 0.03258 | 429 | 291 | 93 | 45 |
298 | I had two fantasies left: bagging a unicorn and winning the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. Now there's only one mountain left to climb. | 1.4262 | 0.03286 | 427 | 291 | 90 | 46 |
299 | Agreed. The LSD is kicking in. | 1.4262 | 0.03201 | 427 | 286 | 100 | 41 |
300 | "There's an imaginary penalty for hunting them.' | 1.4262 | 0.03097 | 427 | 280 | 112 | 35 |
301 | Don Jr. shot him at the Pride Parade. | 1.4262 | 0.03352 | 427 | 295 | 82 | 50 |
302 | And then it granted me one wish. | 1.4258 | 0.03309 | 411 | 278 | 91 | 42 |
303 | It is the only hunting story I have ever heard that begins with "Once upon a time..." | 1.4256 | 0.03380 | 390 | 263 | 88 | 39 |
304 | Now, for sure, they don't exist. | 1.4256 | 0.03202 | 430 | 289 | 99 | 42 |
305 | It's a highly evasive species. | 1.4256 | 0.03269 | 430 | 293 | 91 | 46 |
306 | Lucky for me, I got the last one. | 1.4255 | 0.03190 | 416 | 276 | 103 | 37 |
307 | Bagged that one on an LSD trip. | 1.4248 | 0.03280 | 419 | 284 | 92 | 43 |
308 | Why settle for being a jerk when you could be a monster? | 1.4248 | 0.03349 | 419 | 288 | 84 | 47 |
309 | Damn thing was going around in circles when I shot it. | 1.4248 | 0.03045 | 419 | 271 | 118 | 30 |
310 | Mr Trump said he shot that one himself | 1.4248 | 0.03433 | 419 | 293 | 74 | 52 |
311 | Imaginary, my ass. | 1.4247 | 0.03307 | 405 | 273 | 92 | 40 |
312 | My last safari had a real fairytale ending. | 1.4242 | 0.03121 | 422 | 278 | 109 | 35 |
313 | Illegal? Nah... that’s just a myth. | 1.4236 | 0.03409 | 406 | 280 | 80 | 46 |
314 | What's even more unbelievable is the taste. | 1.4233 | 0.03404 | 404 | 278 | 81 | 45 |
315 | It comes down before the grand kids show up. | 1.4231 | 0.03152 | 416 | 275 | 106 | 35 |
316 | Surprisingly, it tasted like chicken. | 1.4231 | 0.03261 | 416 | 281 | 94 | 41 |
317 | The clock is actually handcrafted in Germany. | 1.4231 | 0.03170 | 416 | 276 | 104 | 36 |
318 | So tragic! I didn't recognize him in his Halloween costume. | 1.4231 | 0.03296 | 416 | 283 | 90 | 43 |
319 | Fortunately, the United States doesn't have an extradition treaty with Narnia. | 1.4227 | 0.03218 | 414 | 277 | 99 | 38 |
320 | I swear, Donald thinks it's real. | 1.4223 | 0.03389 | 412 | 285 | 80 | 47 |
321 | They're real alright. It's the part about their poop tasting like ice cream that's the myth. | 1.4216 | 0.03306 | 408 | 277 | 90 | 41 |
322 | But if I'm honest with myself, it hasn't filled that gaping hole in my heart like I thought it would. | 1.4216 | 0.03214 | 408 | 272 | 100 | 36 |
323 | We met up somewhere over the rainbow. | 1.4212 | 0.03168 | 406 | 268 | 105 | 33 |
324 | Mythical. Didn't need a license. | 1.4208 | 0.03292 | 404 | 273 | 92 | 39 |
325 | In the divorce, Judy took everything but my taxidermy and my hallucinogens. | 1.4208 | 0.03429 | 385 | 263 | 82 | 40 |
326 | ...and the one on the right is from a herd of fake gnus. | 1.4204 | 0.03396 | 402 | 277 | 81 | 44 |
327 | Nice clock | 1.4204 | 0.03285 | 402 | 271 | 93 | 38 |
328 | A decline in the number of carousels has greatly reduced their numbers. | 1.4204 | 0.03304 | 402 | 272 | 91 | 39 |
329 | Yes, my daughter and I have been estranged for years. How did you guess? | 1.4201 | 0.03311 | 407 | 277 | 89 | 41 |
330 | I know a guy who knows a guy in Narnia. | 1.4194 | 0.03272 | 391 | 261 | 96 | 34 |
331 | None of them are real. I just like making my nieces cry. | 1.4190 | 0.03365 | 401 | 275 | 84 | 42 |
332 | That one I bagged from the merry go round at Coney Island. | 1.4190 | 0.03252 | 401 | 269 | 96 | 36 |
333 | It is fake. But you have to do something when you shoot your own horse. | 1.4185 | 0.03433 | 399 | 277 | 77 | 45 |
334 | Don't mean to brag, but my hunting skills are legendary. | 1.4185 | 0.03185 | 399 | 264 | 103 | 32 |
335 | I bet Don Jr would kill to have one of those. | 1.4185 | 0.03377 | 399 | 274 | 83 | 42 |
336 | That damn carousel kept spinning, but I kept shooting. It was much easier once everyone jumped off. | 1.4185 | 0.03469 | 399 | 279 | 73 | 47 |
337 | One in a million, really. The carousel stopped for a split second, and I took the shot. | 1.4177 | 0.03439 | 395 | 274 | 77 | 44 |
338 | Who shoots a bull? I mean, really. | 1.4177 | 0.03439 | 395 | 274 | 77 | 44 |
339 | Well I said to myself...they're just so damm cute I have to have one | 1.4173 | 0.03318 | 393 | 266 | 90 | 37 |
340 | Sure, it might have been more ethical just to take a picture of it, but who believes pictures these days. | 1.4173 | 0.03238 | 393 | 262 | 98 | 33 |
341 | I still don't see the elephant in the room. | 1.4173 | 0.03303 | 405 | 276 | 89 | 40 |
342 | Well, I wanted a wolf but apparently they're endangered. | 1.4171 | 0.03190 | 398 | 264 | 102 | 32 |
343 | I have Trump's Time Magazine cover around here too. | 1.4165 | 0.03381 | 389 | 266 | 84 | 39 |
344 | There she was, right next to the jackalope. | 1.4165 | 0.03302 | 389 | 262 | 92 | 35 |
345 | They don't stay rare by themselves. | 1.4160 | 0.03433 | 387 | 267 | 79 | 41 |
346 | They really do sell everything at IKEA. | 1.4160 | 0.03374 | 387 | 264 | 85 | 38 |
347 | I bought it from a leprechaun in Utopia. | 1.4160 | 0.03471 | 387 | 269 | 75 | 43 |
348 | I bagged that one on an acid trip in '68. | 1.4160 | 0.03413 | 387 | 266 | 81 | 40 |
349 | Luckily I had a magic bullet. | 1.4156 | 0.03285 | 385 | 258 | 94 | 33 |
350 | My wife says I ruined our daughter's sixth birthday party, but it really completes my collection. | 1.4156 | 0.03326 | 385 | 260 | 90 | 35 |
351 | Can you tell it’s a carrot? | 1.4156 | 0.03366 | 385 | 262 | 86 | 37 |
352 | And I caught this one while tripping on acid. | 1.4156 | 0.03386 | 385 | 263 | 84 | 38 |
353 | Yes, I was lucky. I got the very last one. | 1.4156 | 0.03285 | 385 | 258 | 94 | 33 |
354 | They are remarkably fast and taste like cotton candy. | 1.4156 | 0.03264 | 385 | 257 | 96 | 32 |
355 | And that, gentlemen, is how I lost my dental practice. | 1.4149 | 0.03483 | 388 | 271 | 73 | 44 |
356 | Its only magical power is to collect dust. | 1.4149 | 0.03465 | 376 | 259 | 78 | 39 |
357 | Finding an imaginary taxidermist proved to be quite difficult. | 1.4141 | 0.03248 | 384 | 256 | 97 | 31 |
358 | No, it was not a safari, but it was a carousel ride to remember. | 1.4141 | 0.03431 | 384 | 265 | 79 | 40 |
359 | My granddaughter is still not talking to me. | 1.4141 | 0.03310 | 384 | 259 | 91 | 34 |
360 | I ruined the birthday party but it was sooo worth it. | 1.4141 | 0.03371 | 384 | 262 | 85 | 37 |
361 | They're as rare as moderate Republicans. | 1.4136 | 0.03302 | 382 | 257 | 92 | 33 |
362 | I bagged that one on the Big Rock Candy Mountain. | 1.4136 | 0.03239 | 382 | 254 | 98 | 30 |
363 | Yeah, my daughter was pretty pissed. | 1.4136 | 0.03504 | 382 | 267 | 72 | 43 |
364 | So I guess you’re probably wondering about the gardens gnomes now. | 1.4136 | 0.03343 | 382 | 259 | 88 | 35 |
365 | Well... it beats my trophy wife! | 1.4136 | 0.03404 | 382 | 262 | 82 | 38 |
366 | Trump says they are real. | 1.4136 | 0.03543 | 382 | 269 | 68 | 45 |
367 | My guess is he was hunting in gnome man's land. | 1.4136 | 0.03516 | 353 | 241 | 78 | 34 |
368 | In the end they dropped the charges but banned me for life from the Magic Kingdom. | 1.4132 | 0.03457 | 380 | 263 | 77 | 40 |
369 | They said unicorns were catch and release but I said, “Screw you, I’m American.” | 1.4132 | 0.03576 | 380 | 269 | 65 | 46 |
370 | Turns out, if they aren’t real then they’re not on the endangered species list. | 1.4129 | 0.03484 | 373 | 258 | 76 | 39 |
371 | It may be a fictional creation, but remember we ourselves are cartoon characters. | 1.4127 | 0.03470 | 378 | 262 | 76 | 40 |
372 | Buying the hunting permit was no problem once I'd purchased the ambassadorship. | 1.4127 | 0.03409 | 378 | 259 | 82 | 37 |
373 | Technically, I didn't break any laws. | 1.4125 | 0.03232 | 383 | 255 | 98 | 30 |
374 | Of course my daughter doesn't see it that way. | 1.4122 | 0.03338 | 376 | 254 | 89 | 33 |
375 | They used to be rare, prior to Trump | 1.4118 | 0.03414 | 374 | 256 | 82 | 36 |
376 | I had to kill my childhood fantasies the day I went into finance. | 1.4118 | 0.03476 | 374 | 259 | 76 | 39 |
377 | I wanted the lion, but the dentist got there first. | 1.4118 | 0.03538 | 374 | 262 | 70 | 42 |
378 | The hard part was finding a discreet taxidermist. | 1.4113 | 0.03276 | 372 | 248 | 95 | 29 |
379 | When I smelled cotton candy, I knew we were downwind. | 1.4108 | 0.03354 | 370 | 250 | 88 | 32 |
380 | It wasn't on the endangered species list, so I figured it was fair game. | 1.4108 | 0.03265 | 370 | 246 | 96 | 28 |
381 | Then I thought to myself: What would Trump do? | 1.4108 | 0.03482 | 370 | 256 | 76 | 38 |
382 | Didn't taste the way you would think. | 1.4107 | 0.03386 | 375 | 256 | 84 | 35 |
383 | Strangely, this time I felt both virile AND feminine. | 1.4106 | 0.03501 | 358 | 246 | 77 | 35 |
384 | It was that or a trophy wife - that's cheaper. | 1.4098 | 0.03466 | 366 | 252 | 78 | 36 |
385 | The Unicorn ?? Its head was in my bed. | 1.4098 | 0.03509 | 366 | 254 | 74 | 38 |
386 | Still need the Yeti to complete the collection. | 1.4098 | 0.03289 | 366 | 244 | 94 | 28 |
387 | Well the real kicker is that we're not real either. | 1.4093 | 0.03369 | 364 | 246 | 87 | 31 |
388 | Did you know a unicorn without testicles is called a "eunuchorn". | 1.4092 | 0.03467 | 369 | 255 | 77 | 37 |
389 | My wife bought the unicorn and killed the other two with her car. | 1.4087 | 0.03437 | 367 | 252 | 80 | 35 |
390 | Lucky for me, the current administration lifted the ban on hunting them. | 1.4087 | 0.03394 | 367 | 250 | 84 | 33 |
391 | I lucked out, the Fish & Game guy said these things are mythical, don't require a license and there's no limit. | 1.4087 | 0.03305 | 367 | 246 | 92 | 29 |
392 | Horse died of old age. I bought the horn on E Bay. It was his dying wish. | 1.4077 | 0.03529 | 363 | 253 | 72 | 38 |
393 | I bagged that one during an acid trip in 1967. | 1.4072 | 0.03543 | 361 | 252 | 71 | 38 |
394 | This is my way of coming out. | 1.4072 | 0.03455 | 361 | 248 | 79 | 34 |
395 | Endangered? No, that's a myth. | 1.4072 | 0.03433 | 361 | 247 | 81 | 33 |
396 | I say, if it's not on the endangered list, it's fair game. | 1.4072 | 0.03248 | 361 | 239 | 97 | 25 |
397 | What did Joanne put in this punch? | 1.4072 | 0.03499 | 361 | 250 | 75 | 36 |
398 | The one I got on safari had a bigger, much bigger horn. It was really big, very big - the biggest anyone has ever seen. I'm the only one who could bag one like that. Obama never got one anywhere near that big. | 1.4072 | 0.03608 | 361 | 255 | 65 | 41 |
399 | I bagged them when the merry-go-round stopped. | 1.4071 | 0.03421 | 366 | 251 | 81 | 34 |
400 | This one I shot just for my daughter, and of course she never appreciates anything I do for her. | 1.4071 | 0.03421 | 366 | 251 | 81 | 34 |
401 | If they did exist , they don't anymore. | 1.4046 | 0.03430 | 351 | 239 | 82 | 30 |
402 | Guns don't kill unicorns. . . | 1.4046 | 0.03593 | 351 | 246 | 68 | 37 |
403 | Just between you and me this middle one is paper mache. | 1.4040 | 0.03584 | 349 | 244 | 69 | 36 |
404 | My wife wanted to visit Narnia and I wanted a hunting trip. We met in the middle. | 1.4035 | 0.03481 | 347 | 238 | 78 | 31 |
405 | It wasn’t about believing in him. It was about believing in myself. | 1.4035 | 0.03552 | 347 | 241 | 72 | 34 |
406 | Real, fake — what’s the difference? | 1.4029 | 0.03557 | 340 | 235 | 73 | 32 |
407 | Had to climb over a lot of little girls to get that one. | 1.4025 | 0.03448 | 323 | 216 | 84 | 23 |
408 | And I bagged this one on an NRA sponsored acid trip. | 1.4023 | 0.03699 | 343 | 244 | 60 | 39 |
409 | Things got out of hand at my granddaughter’s birthday party. | 1.4018 | 0.03548 | 341 | 236 | 73 | 32 |
410 | Took a lot of imagination to bag that one. | 1.4018 | 0.03474 | 341 | 233 | 79 | 29 |
411 | It was just too beautiful not to murder, decapitate and hang on my wall. | 1.4017 | 0.03498 | 351 | 243 | 75 | 33 |
412 | Getting him off the carousel was the toughest part. | 1.4012 | 0.03513 | 339 | 233 | 76 | 30 |
413 | I wanted an elephant, but they're getting so hard to find. | 1.4006 | 0.03478 | 357 | 248 | 75 | 34 |
414 | It's like the horn follows you around the room. | 1.4000 | 0.03554 | 340 | 236 | 72 | 32 |
415 | But the truly remarkable thing is that I got them all with my car. | 1.4000 | 0.03505 | 340 | 234 | 76 | 30 |
416 | My granddaughter still won't speak to me. | 1.4000 | 0.03530 | 340 | 235 | 74 | 31 |
417 | I was just following a trail of Skittles, and then there she was... | 1.4000 | 0.03627 | 340 | 239 | 66 | 35 |
418 | Let’s just say, my daughter still isn’t talking to me | 1.3994 | 0.03544 | 338 | 234 | 73 | 31 |
419 | Say, is that mantel clock an 1874 Waltham? | 1.3994 | 0.03569 | 338 | 235 | 71 | 32 |
420 | African Plains on the left, American Plains on the right, Astral Plains in the center ! | 1.3988 | 0.03534 | 336 | 232 | 74 | 30 |
421 | Interesting side-note: My neighbors never had a backyard birthday party ever again. | 1.3988 | 0.03657 | 336 | 237 | 64 | 35 |
422 | No, they don’t really exist. Anymore. | 1.3988 | 0.03584 | 336 | 234 | 70 | 32 |
423 | Of course, the grandkids aren’t speaking to me. | 1.3988 | 0.03682 | 336 | 238 | 62 | 36 |
424 | The one in the middle is fake news | 1.3988 | 0.03608 | 336 | 235 | 68 | 33 |
425 | Then I drank it’s blood and now I’m immortal. So...you wanna turn on the ballgame? | 1.3982 | 0.03548 | 334 | 231 | 73 | 30 |
426 | And that’s why my wife calls me a killjoy | 1.3976 | 0.03486 | 332 | 227 | 78 | 27 |
427 | All I had to do was follow the rainbow-colored poop. | 1.3976 | 0.03679 | 327 | 230 | 64 | 33 |
428 | I figured I'd get him before one of the Trump kids did. | 1.3970 | 0.03615 | 335 | 235 | 67 | 33 |
429 | I had a trophy wife but thought it would be tacky | 1.3963 | 0.03721 | 328 | 233 | 60 | 35 |
430 | I guess this explains that rainbow coming out of the chimney. | 1.3957 | 0.03634 | 326 | 228 | 67 | 31 |
431 | Oddly enough, it tasted like chicken. | 1.3957 | 0.03712 | 326 | 231 | 61 | 34 |
432 | Yes, their tears can heal. I’m completely cancer-free now, but the biggest bonus was that when my wife saw this, she walked out on me. These things are truly magical. | 1.3952 | 0.03695 | 334 | 238 | 60 | 36 |
433 | And that was the last time my daughter spoke to me. | 1.3951 | 0.03650 | 324 | 227 | 66 | 31 |
434 | My daughter was seven when I bagged that for her. Now she's an animal rights activist. | 1.3944 | 0.03744 | 322 | 229 | 59 | 34 |
435 | The unicorn population in Narnia was out of control. | 1.3938 | 0.03491 | 320 | 218 | 78 | 24 |
436 | It was a lucky shot, I was aiming for the Yeti. | 1.3938 | 0.03682 | 320 | 225 | 64 | 31 |
437 | Yeah it was on Election Day. How'd you know? | 1.3938 | 0.03682 | 320 | 225 | 64 | 31 |
438 | We used glitter to lure her out of the forest. | 1.3938 | 0.03491 | 320 | 218 | 78 | 24 |
439 | well now they don't exist | 1.3931 | 0.03698 | 318 | 224 | 63 | 31 |
440 | So, I'm thinking: what's more important, the loss of magic and wonder for all time or that spot over the mantle? | 1.3931 | 0.03534 | 318 | 218 | 75 | 25 |
441 | It wasn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination. | 1.3924 | 0.03549 | 316 | 217 | 74 | 25 |
442 | Ah,yes. That was a magical day. | 1.3918 | 0.03468 | 319 | 217 | 79 | 23 |
443 | The big challenge was getting it off the merry go around undetected. | 1.3918 | 0.03580 | 319 | 221 | 71 | 27 |
444 | Honestly, I’m more impressed that all three are level | 1.3910 | 0.03636 | 312 | 217 | 68 | 27 |
445 | Nah, it's not real. I just like to see my liberal friends' heads explode when they see it. | 1.3910 | 0.03748 | 312 | 221 | 60 | 31 |
446 | My granddaughters still aren't talking to me. | 1.3910 | 0.03636 | 312 | 217 | 68 | 27 |
447 | Is it any more strange than having real animals on the wall? | 1.3910 | 0.03636 | 312 | 217 | 68 | 27 |
448 | I think the eyelashes are fake. | 1.3905 | 0.03748 | 315 | 224 | 59 | 32 |
449 | And that unique one in the middle... is a retro clock I also got at Pottery Barn. | 1.3903 | 0.03624 | 310 | 215 | 69 | 26 |
450 | Endangered? No, that's a myth. | 1.3903 | 0.03565 | 310 | 213 | 73 | 24 |
451 | Hey !! Who dumped an ice-cream cone on its nose?? | 1.3903 | 0.03874 | 310 | 224 | 51 | 35 |
452 | Being on the board for Disney has some unbelievable perks. | 1.3903 | 0.03681 | 310 | 217 | 65 | 28 |
453 | It was the last one in the world so I killed it while I had the chance. | 1.3903 | 0.03737 | 310 | 219 | 61 | 30 |
454 | The hunt was unreal. | 1.3903 | 0.03709 | 310 | 218 | 63 | 29 |
455 | Surprisingly it tasted pretty much like chicken. | 1.3898 | 0.03512 | 313 | 214 | 76 | 23 |
456 | Then it fell asleep on her lap. The rest you know. | 1.3896 | 0.03754 | 308 | 218 | 60 | 30 |
457 | I shot this one in my sleep. | 1.3896 | 0.03837 | 308 | 221 | 54 | 33 |
458 | Do you know how hard it is to score a Unicorn permit? | 1.3896 | 0.03551 | 308 | 211 | 74 | 23 |
459 | Let's just say my daughter's tenth birthday party was a mess. | 1.3896 | 0.03668 | 308 | 215 | 66 | 27 |
460 | Bagged that one at little Christina's fantasy themed 10th birthday party. | 1.3896 | 0.03865 | 308 | 222 | 52 | 34 |
461 | You should've seen the taxidermist's face | 1.3887 | 0.03758 | 301 | 212 | 61 | 28 |
462 | It was born a unicorn. But it identifies as a deer. | 1.3876 | 0.03675 | 307 | 215 | 65 | 27 |
463 | They aren't that rare when you are on mushrooms. | 1.3876 | 0.03704 | 307 | 216 | 63 | 28 |
464 | I think your clock has stopped. | 1.3876 | 0.03732 | 307 | 217 | 61 | 29 |
465 | It's not what you think. I bagged it on a carousel in Brooklyn. | 1.3876 | 0.03527 | 307 | 210 | 75 | 22 |
466 | And I thought I wouldn't enjoy my granddaughter's birthday party. | 1.3876 | 0.03497 | 307 | 209 | 77 | 21 |
467 | From a distance it looked like a Democrat. | 1.3876 | 0.03817 | 307 | 220 | 55 | 32 |
468 | Now I'm enchanted forest public enemy number one. | 1.3872 | 0.03671 | 297 | 206 | 67 | 24 |
469 | It was November 7, 2016 ... just before the election ... Had I known it was bad luck ... | 1.3869 | 0.03807 | 305 | 218 | 56 | 31 |
470 | You eat my hostas, you hang on the wall. | 1.3869 | 0.03542 | 305 | 209 | 74 | 22 |
471 | Correction: they used to exist. | 1.3869 | 0.03778 | 305 | 217 | 58 | 30 |
472 | It wouldn't get off my lawn. | 1.3869 | 0.03662 | 305 | 213 | 66 | 26 |
473 | At first I thought "this can't be real." But I shot it anyway, just to be safe. | 1.3869 | 0.03662 | 305 | 213 | 66 | 26 |
474 | Bagged that one in Narnia. | 1.3861 | 0.03795 | 303 | 216 | 57 | 30 |
475 | After this one I had to close my dental practice. | 1.3861 | 0.03708 | 303 | 213 | 63 | 27 |
476 | It did not go over well with the grandkids. | 1.3861 | 0.03708 | 303 | 213 | 63 | 27 |
477 | I got that one during the safari I went on with the guys from my fantasy league. | 1.3861 | 0.03679 | 303 | 212 | 65 | 26 |
478 | Yep. Thought he could hide behind a rainbow. | 1.3861 | 0.03558 | 303 | 208 | 73 | 22 |
479 | For the best big game hunting you simply have to go to Narnia. | 1.3861 | 0.03909 | 303 | 220 | 49 | 34 |
480 | So, yeah, as you can see, I'm going to Hell. | 1.3861 | 0.03824 | 303 | 217 | 55 | 31 |
481 | Of course, my grand-daughters won't speak to me anymore. | 1.3861 | 0.03795 | 303 | 216 | 57 | 30 |
482 | It was going to be a gift for my daughter, but turns out that's not what she meant. | 1.3860 | 0.04171 | 228 | 158 | 52 | 18 |
483 | Yeah, I was hunting somewhere over the rainbow when I saw her. | 1.3859 | 0.03782 | 298 | 211 | 59 | 28 |
484 | They might be rare, but they are damned easy to track. Just follow the rainbows. | 1.3857 | 0.03673 | 293 | 203 | 67 | 23 |
485 | If the internet hated it when I shot that lion, they're gonna fucking hate this. | 1.3856 | 0.03852 | 306 | 221 | 52 | 33 |
486 | Bagged that one at the Central Park Carousel | 1.3856 | 0.03623 | 306 | 213 | 68 | 25 |
487 | And yet, I've never found Jesus. | 1.3854 | 0.03956 | 301 | 220 | 46 | 35 |
488 | I bagged that one on Fox News' Alternative Safari. | 1.3854 | 0.03956 | 301 | 220 | 46 | 35 |
489 | I didn't believe in Donald Trump either! | 1.3854 | 0.03984 | 301 | 221 | 44 | 36 |
490 | I got there before Don Jr. | 1.3854 | 0.03784 | 301 | 214 | 58 | 29 |
491 | It was fate. I was standing standing in just the right spot when the carousel stopped. | 1.3854 | 0.03695 | 301 | 211 | 64 | 26 |
492 | That's Dick Cheney for you. | 1.3846 | 0.03712 | 299 | 210 | 63 | 26 |
493 | Makes me wonder about that hole-in-one he claims to have shot too. | 1.3846 | 0.03651 | 299 | 208 | 67 | 24 |
494 | Naww, just a horse in a party hat. | 1.3833 | 0.03579 | 300 | 207 | 71 | 22 |
495 | As a product of Kansas public schools, I say it's real. | 1.3826 | 0.03897 | 298 | 216 | 50 | 32 |
496 | We thought we'd shoot that unicorn before they become extinct. | 1.3823 | 0.03764 | 293 | 207 | 60 | 26 |
497 | That was the from the Flat Earth Society big game hunt. | 1.3823 | 0.03701 | 293 | 205 | 64 | 24 |
498 | Needless to say, my daughter hasn't spoken to me since. | 1.3821 | 0.03751 | 301 | 214 | 59 | 28 |
499 | All the proceeds from the hunt went to for the preservation of endangered species. | 1.3819 | 0.03746 | 288 | 202 | 62 | 24 |
500 | I told you his hunting stories are more fantasy than fact | 1.3814 | 0.03555 | 291 | 199 | 73 | 19 |
501 | And this one I shot at my neices third birthday... | 1.3814 | 0.03874 | 291 | 209 | 53 | 29 |
502 | No...this kind of trophy hunting saves the unicorns. | 1.3814 | 0.03965 | 291 | 212 | 47 | 32 |
503 | They said it didn't exist, which wasn't true before. | 1.3814 | 0.03812 | 291 | 207 | 57 | 27 |
504 | I've developed a really wild story over the years, but to tell you the truth, my wife bought it at Party City. | 1.3814 | 0.03686 | 291 | 203 | 65 | 23 |
505 | Damn right it was the last one. | 1.3813 | 0.03739 | 299 | 212 | 60 | 27 |
506 | I shot that one at my granddaughter’s fifth birthday party. | 1.3806 | 0.03831 | 289 | 206 | 56 | 27 |
507 | Carousel. New Jersey. | 1.3806 | 0.03703 | 289 | 202 | 64 | 23 |
508 | And this is Princess Celestia from ‘My Little Pony’, she didn’t go down easy. | 1.3806 | 0.03984 | 289 | 211 | 46 | 32 |
509 | I bagged the one in the middle at F.A.O. Shwarz. | 1.3806 | 0.03638 | 289 | 200 | 68 | 21 |
510 | The Care Bear got away | 1.3798 | 0.03621 | 287 | 198 | 69 | 20 |
511 | It appeared from nowhere while I was eating mushrooms. | 1.3798 | 0.03881 | 287 | 206 | 53 | 28 |
512 | It's put a real chill on relations with the grandkids. | 1.3798 | 0.03687 | 287 | 200 | 65 | 22 |
513 | Oh, it had always been a fantasy of mine. | 1.3798 | 0.03753 | 287 | 202 | 61 | 24 |
514 | Yes, it is from a Carrousel, but it still wasn’t an easy shot. | 1.3798 | 0.03785 | 287 | 203 | 59 | 25 |
515 | Legendary? Well, now they are. | 1.3789 | 0.03637 | 285 | 197 | 68 | 20 |
516 | The downside is that I’m no longer Olivia’s “favorite Pop-Pop.” | 1.3789 | 0.03738 | 285 | 200 | 62 | 23 |
517 | Don Jr. and Eric know how to thank a big donor | 1.3789 | 0.03803 | 285 | 202 | 58 | 25 |
518 | The burgers were unbelievable | 1.3789 | 0.03771 | 285 | 201 | 60 | 24 |
519 | Usually I hunt for sport, but the unicorn was just a jerk. | 1.3789 | 0.03771 | 285 | 201 | 60 | 24 |
520 | Don't tell the other hunters, but I made it with a 3D printer. | 1.3789 | 0.03803 | 285 | 202 | 58 | 25 |
521 | I just followed the glitter. | 1.3789 | 0.03836 | 285 | 203 | 56 | 26 |
522 | Yeah, but my granddaughters will never speak to me again. | 1.3789 | 0.03771 | 285 | 201 | 60 | 24 |
523 | Hmm. Seems like your clock is a bit slow. | 1.3789 | 0.03671 | 285 | 198 | 66 | 21 |
524 | Where did you say you bagged the middle one again Mr. Cheney? | 1.3789 | 0.03671 | 285 | 198 | 66 | 21 |
525 | Its a trophy from the Ken Kesey collection... | 1.3781 | 0.04075 | 283 | 209 | 41 | 33 |
526 | And that's when she stopped calling me Daddy. | 1.3781 | 0.03821 | 283 | 201 | 57 | 25 |
527 | Ethel was driving, and he literally came out of nowhere. | 1.3781 | 0.03654 | 283 | 196 | 67 | 20 |
528 | ...incredibly rare, but Eric Trump shot it anyway. | 1.3781 | 0.04013 | 283 | 207 | 45 | 31 |
529 | Screw 'em, since they claim it doesn't exist they can't claim it's endangered. | 1.3781 | 0.03886 | 283 | 203 | 53 | 27 |
530 | Yes, they do fart cotton candy when stressed. | 1.3781 | 0.03821 | 283 | 201 | 57 | 25 |
531 | Finally, I'm free of the elephant in the room. | 1.3776 | 0.03627 | 286 | 198 | 68 | 20 |
532 | So, that's why the steaks were pink. | 1.3776 | 0.03694 | 286 | 200 | 64 | 22 |
533 | The eyelashes are obviously fake. | 1.3776 | 0.03824 | 286 | 204 | 56 | 26 |
534 | It was a magical night | 1.3776 | 0.03559 | 286 | 196 | 72 | 18 |
535 | Hey, if I hadn't shot it, some other self-indulgent rich guy would have. | 1.3776 | 0.03760 | 286 | 202 | 60 | 24 |
536 | I bet that clock’s a one in a million antique. | 1.3772 | 0.03739 | 281 | 197 | 62 | 22 |
537 | Tracking down that one took a LOT of imagination. | 1.3772 | 0.03671 | 281 | 195 | 66 | 20 |
538 | She died of natural causes at the end of the Age of Aquarius. | 1.3772 | 0.03636 | 281 | 194 | 68 | 19 |
539 | Alright, NOW they're extinct. | 1.3772 | 0.03636 | 281 | 194 | 68 | 19 |
540 | I’m starting to think some of these trophies might be fake | 1.3772 | 0.03739 | 281 | 197 | 62 | 22 |
541 | Well, they're not officially endangered, you know. | 1.3772 | 0.03873 | 281 | 201 | 54 | 26 |
542 | Sat under a rainbow for three days before she appeared. | 1.3772 | 0.03636 | 281 | 194 | 68 | 19 |
543 | From the clock store on 5th street | 1.3772 | 0.03970 | 281 | 204 | 48 | 29 |
544 | My daughter bagged that one, the day after she discovered boys. | 1.3772 | 0.03807 | 281 | 199 | 58 | 24 |
545 | Only one horn, but I shot it anyway. | 1.3772 | 0.03807 | 281 | 199 | 58 | 24 |
546 | Sure, it cost my daughter years of therapy, but it was worth it. | 1.3763 | 0.03825 | 279 | 198 | 57 | 24 |
547 | Believe it or not, it was the least preposterous game at Mar-A-Lago. | 1.3763 | 0.03825 | 279 | 198 | 57 | 24 |
548 | Most of my buddies hunt for a trophy wife. I wanted something more ... unique. | 1.3763 | 0.03723 | 279 | 195 | 63 | 21 |
549 | I shot this one in my sleep. | 1.3763 | 0.03859 | 279 | 199 | 55 | 25 |
550 | Next year we're going after Tinkerbell. | 1.3763 | 0.03791 | 279 | 197 | 59 | 23 |
551 | One day, I'm gonna hunt down a Care Bear. | 1.3763 | 0.03925 | 279 | 201 | 51 | 27 |
552 | I bagged that middle one off the carousel in Coney Island. | 1.3763 | 0.03925 | 279 | 201 | 51 | 27 |
553 | My daughter asked for a pony, so I said, 'I'll do you one better' | 1.3759 | 0.03829 | 282 | 201 | 56 | 25 |
554 | For some reason, this one always makes the little girls cry. | 1.3759 | 0.03590 | 282 | 194 | 70 | 18 |
555 | How was I supposed to know it was endangered? | 1.3755 | 0.03878 | 277 | 198 | 54 | 25 |
556 | Of course things were different before the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3755 | 0.03670 | 277 | 192 | 66 | 19 |
557 | They're pretty to look at, but they're actually invasive. | 1.3755 | 0.03844 | 277 | 197 | 56 | 24 |
558 | Unisex, Obviously | 1.3755 | 0.03810 | 277 | 196 | 58 | 23 |
559 | That one came from James Thurber's estate sale. | 1.3755 | 0.03598 | 277 | 190 | 70 | 17 |
560 | Yes... My granddaughter is quite the hunter it turns out. | 1.3750 | 0.03880 | 280 | 201 | 53 | 26 |
561 | Bought her at an auction. They said Michael Jackson only rode her on weekends. | 1.3750 | 0.03847 | 280 | 200 | 55 | 25 |
562 | Your clock is running a bit slow. | 1.3745 | 0.03931 | 275 | 198 | 51 | 26 |
563 | I usually use a Remington 30-06 but for the unicorn I used my imagination. | 1.3745 | 0.03897 | 275 | 197 | 53 | 25 |
564 | This vintage Howard Miller mantle clock was really a find. | 1.3745 | 0.03998 | 275 | 200 | 47 | 28 |
565 | I've always been guided by the words of our commencement speaker, who told us to go after our dreams. | 1.3745 | 0.03687 | 275 | 191 | 65 | 19 |
566 | My daughter still won't talk to me. | 1.3745 | 0.03897 | 275 | 197 | 53 | 25 |
567 | To those who thought they were extinct, now you're right. | 1.3745 | 0.03998 | 275 | 200 | 47 | 28 |
568 | ... and thus ended my childhood | 1.3745 | 0.03687 | 275 | 191 | 65 | 19 |
569 | The one in the middle is actually a horse. We had the taxidermist add the horn so that our dinner guests wouldn't get upset. | 1.3741 | 0.03866 | 278 | 199 | 54 | 25 |
570 | It was a magical day. | 1.3736 | 0.03984 | 273 | 198 | 48 | 27 |
571 | Bagged on my last acid trip! | 1.3736 | 0.04052 | 273 | 200 | 44 | 29 |
572 | That was during the '60s. Need I say more? | 1.3736 | 0.03704 | 273 | 190 | 64 | 19 |
573 | It's been 20 years and my daughter STILL won't speak to me. | 1.3736 | 0.04117 | 273 | 202 | 40 | 31 |
574 | No, our decorator just sawed it off a carousel. | 1.3736 | 0.03776 | 273 | 192 | 60 | 21 |
575 | It turns out there is a magic bullet. | 1.3732 | 0.03604 | 276 | 190 | 69 | 17 |
576 | Actually, they’re fairly common on merry-go-rounds. | 1.3732 | 0.03492 | 276 | 187 | 75 | 14 |
577 | You killed a lot of dreams with that one. | 1.3728 | 0.03753 | 279 | 197 | 60 | 22 |
578 | My lord, would you look at that! It's already 1:45! | 1.3727 | 0.03901 | 271 | 194 | 53 | 24 |
579 | And I bagged that one on My Little Safari. | 1.3727 | 0.03795 | 271 | 191 | 59 | 21 |
580 | It's not real, it's just combed over from the back. | 1.3727 | 0.04073 | 271 | 199 | 43 | 29 |
581 | I see you killed your daughter's dreams. | 1.3727 | 0.03971 | 271 | 196 | 49 | 26 |
582 | We try to keep the kids out of this room. | 1.3727 | 0.03795 | 271 | 191 | 59 | 21 |
583 | Finding it was easy. The real challenge was cleaning up all the glitter. | 1.3727 | 0.03830 | 271 | 192 | 57 | 22 |
584 | I shot this one in James Thurber's backyard. | 1.3727 | 0.03901 | 271 | 194 | 53 | 24 |
585 | What better way to prove they existed? | 1.3723 | 0.03938 | 274 | 198 | 50 | 26 |
586 | I'm not really in favour of letting our imaginations run wild. | 1.3717 | 0.03991 | 269 | 195 | 48 | 26 |
587 | It took me four hits of acid to finally bring her down. | 1.3717 | 0.03813 | 269 | 190 | 58 | 21 |
588 | And now, under this administration, it's completely legal! | 1.3717 | 0.03665 | 269 | 186 | 66 | 17 |
589 | The experience really wasn't as magical as I expected. | 1.3713 | 0.03747 | 272 | 191 | 61 | 20 |
590 | No, that’s from a merry-go-round. | 1.3713 | 0.03924 | 272 | 196 | 51 | 25 |
591 | Let’s just say my daughter still doesn’t speak to me. | 1.3708 | 0.03976 | 267 | 193 | 49 | 25 |
592 | No, surprisingly it tasted more like leprechaun | 1.3708 | 0.03941 | 267 | 192 | 51 | 24 |
593 | I bagged that one when the carousel closed. | 1.3708 | 0.03795 | 267 | 188 | 59 | 20 |
594 | The funny thing is there are no prohibitions against poaching imaginary animals. | 1.3708 | 0.03832 | 267 | 189 | 57 | 21 |
595 | After it granted me my third wish I shot it. | 1.3704 | 0.03765 | 270 | 190 | 60 | 20 |
596 | Fortunately there's no law protecting mythical species. | 1.3704 | 0.03691 | 270 | 188 | 64 | 18 |
597 | Yep, I got the last one | 1.3704 | 0.03765 | 270 | 190 | 60 | 20 |
598 | My Little Trophy | 1.3698 | 0.03700 | 265 | 184 | 64 | 17 |
599 | I think you should avoid social media for a while. | 1.3698 | 0.03961 | 265 | 191 | 50 | 24 |
600 | Actually I was hunting for my little pony. | 1.3698 | 0.03776 | 265 | 186 | 60 | 19 |
601 | Of course, you have to believe in unicorns before you can shoot one. | 1.3698 | 0.03888 | 265 | 189 | 54 | 22 |
602 | The Trump boys can help you hunt even the most endangered of species. | 1.3690 | 0.03861 | 271 | 194 | 54 | 23 |
603 | Most people only chase their dreams... | 1.3688 | 0.03981 | 263 | 190 | 49 | 24 |
604 | 1969, San Francisco, LSD | 1.3688 | 0.03795 | 263 | 185 | 59 | 19 |
605 | I thought the room could use a little sparkle. | 1.3688 | 0.03717 | 263 | 183 | 63 | 17 |
606 | OK, OK, it's a horse -- and a damn good taxidermist. | 1.3688 | 0.03795 | 263 | 185 | 59 | 19 |
607 | And yet the most implausible aspect of this scenario is the black guy to my left. | 1.3688 | 0.03945 | 263 | 189 | 51 | 23 |
608 | It promised to grant any wish I had to spare its life but I've got everything so I popped it! | 1.3684 | 0.03912 | 266 | 191 | 52 | 23 |
609 | I killed the left and right ones on my African trip, and the middle one on my LSD trip. | 1.3680 | 0.03951 | 269 | 195 | 49 | 25 |
610 | Actually, they're quite common in the Hamptons. | 1.3680 | 0.03772 | 269 | 190 | 59 | 20 |
611 | Sure my daughter will be in counseling for years, but, hey, when you got the shot... | 1.3680 | 0.03772 | 269 | 190 | 59 | 20 |
612 | I didn't really shoot him. The rainbow fell on him and I just had him stuffed. | 1.3680 | 0.03881 | 269 | 193 | 53 | 23 |
613 | Mermaid's in the next room. | 1.3678 | 0.03696 | 261 | 181 | 64 | 16 |
614 | I killed that one when I was a nine-year old girl. | 1.3678 | 0.03890 | 261 | 186 | 54 | 21 |
615 | This one was bequeathed to me by my fairy godfather. | 1.3678 | 0.03775 | 261 | 183 | 60 | 18 |
616 | Coney Island Carousel , June 1976. | 1.3678 | 0.03928 | 261 | 187 | 52 | 22 |
617 | Well, I think the acid kicked in | 1.3678 | 0.04002 | 261 | 189 | 48 | 24 |
618 | Thankfully, I realized that I hadn't shot a rhino, which are so rare. | 1.3678 | 0.03775 | 261 | 183 | 60 | 18 |
619 | Surprisingly , they’re not on the Endangered Species list. You can shoot all you can find. | 1.3674 | 0.03858 | 264 | 188 | 55 | 21 |
620 | It was easier than finding a trophy wife. | 1.3674 | 0.03969 | 264 | 191 | 49 | 24 |
621 | Santa's next. | 1.3672 | 0.03744 | 256 | 178 | 62 | 16 |
622 | The custody hearings never went my way after that. | 1.3668 | 0.03833 | 259 | 183 | 57 | 19 |
623 | So Bigfoot sees my hunting rifle and says to the Unicorn, "I only have to be faster than you." And he was. | 1.3668 | 0.04023 | 259 | 188 | 47 | 24 |
624 | Unicorn?! Heavens no. It’s a GMO horse. | 1.3668 | 0.03871 | 259 | 184 | 55 | 20 |
625 | Took me three shots - darned thing kept bobbing up and down and going in circles... | 1.3667 | 0.03904 | 270 | 195 | 51 | 24 |
626 | They're actually pretty lax about hunting licenses in the Enchanted Forest." | 1.3660 | 0.03616 | 265 | 183 | 67 | 15 |
627 | I waited for the carousel to come to a complete stop and then: Bang! | 1.3660 | 0.03920 | 265 | 191 | 51 | 23 |
628 | They’re not as friendly as you think. | 1.3660 | 0.03920 | 265 | 191 | 51 | 23 |
629 | They're emblematic of chaste love and faithful marriage, which is why my wife killed it. | 1.3658 | 0.04082 | 257 | 188 | 44 | 25 |
630 | I shot him at Disney World. | 1.3658 | 0.03891 | 257 | 183 | 54 | 20 |
631 | PETA can't protest it if it ain't real. | 1.3658 | 0.03812 | 257 | 181 | 58 | 18 |
632 | My granddaughter still won't speak to me. | 1.3658 | 0.04044 | 257 | 187 | 46 | 24 |
633 | Well Bill, they're a myth now! | 1.3658 | 0.03891 | 257 | 183 | 54 | 20 |
634 | The glitter got everywhere. | 1.3658 | 0.03930 | 257 | 184 | 52 | 21 |
635 | The hunt was legendary. I hit him in the fairy tail. | 1.3658 | 0.03732 | 257 | 179 | 62 | 16 |
636 | I really wanted a rhinoceros, but they're on the endangered species list. | 1.3650 | 0.03828 | 263 | 187 | 56 | 20 |
637 | Tried for years to bag a progressive republican... but, I'm pretty sure they're just a myth... | 1.3650 | 0.04120 | 263 | 195 | 40 | 28 |
638 | Yeah, it's a great clock. I found it at Bill's Antiques on 4th Street. | 1.3650 | 0.04049 | 263 | 193 | 44 | 26 |
639 | No, now they're extinct. | 1.3650 | 0.03828 | 263 | 187 | 56 | 20 |
640 | It was a challenge because the carousel was moving. | 1.3647 | 0.03989 | 255 | 184 | 49 | 22 |
641 | Endangered? I thought they were non-existent. | 1.3647 | 0.03872 | 255 | 181 | 55 | 19 |
642 | The funny thing is I was shooting blanks. | 1.3647 | 0.04066 | 255 | 186 | 45 | 24 |
643 | We got this one on our dream vacation. | 1.3647 | 0.03759 | 266 | 188 | 59 | 19 |
644 | Ironically, I was hunting an entirely different endangered species at the time. | 1.3640 | 0.03610 | 261 | 180 | 67 | 14 |
645 | Quite a catch! Although much harder to sneak him off the merry-go-round than you might think! | 1.3640 | 0.03923 | 261 | 188 | 51 | 22 |
646 | Of course, my daughter doesn't talk to me anymore. | 1.3640 | 0.03769 | 261 | 184 | 59 | 18 |
647 | It was so beautiful and life-affirming, I just had to have it. | 1.3636 | 0.03891 | 253 | 180 | 54 | 19 |
648 | Yes at the time there were only two left, but I figured bag one before they're all gone | 1.3636 | 0.04201 | 253 | 188 | 38 | 27 |
649 | I got him in my sights – it was hit or myth. | 1.3633 | 0.04015 | 256 | 186 | 47 | 23 |
650 | Admittedly, this one's just a horse with a party hat, but I needed a centerpiece. | 1.3633 | 0.03938 | 256 | 184 | 51 | 21 |
651 | My daughter still won't speak to me. | 1.3633 | 0.03976 | 256 | 185 | 49 | 22 |
652 | Turns out they’re not imaginary. They’re extinct. | 1.3625 | 0.03871 | 251 | 178 | 55 | 18 |
653 | The kid on the carousel made a scene when I bagged that one. | 1.3625 | 0.04032 | 251 | 182 | 47 | 22 |
654 | It was magical, but also a little gamey. | 1.3625 | 0.04032 | 251 | 182 | 47 | 22 |
655 | You should have seen the dragon that got away. | 1.3625 | 0.04110 | 251 | 184 | 43 | 24 |
656 | My granddaughter loves them and I thought, why not? | 1.3625 | 0.04032 | 251 | 182 | 47 | 22 |
657 | Nope, those are her real eyelashes. | 1.3623 | 0.03689 | 265 | 186 | 62 | 17 |
658 | Funny thing is, I was aiming for My Little Pony. | 1.3619 | 0.03886 | 257 | 184 | 53 | 20 |
659 | Some old myths die harder than others. | 1.3619 | 0.03886 | 257 | 184 | 53 | 20 |
660 | Well, it's not as if they're a protected species. | 1.3619 | 0.03886 | 257 | 184 | 53 | 20 |
661 | What'd you do with the rest of the carousel? | 1.3614 | 0.03932 | 249 | 178 | 52 | 19 |
662 | I keep the Tooth Fairy in the bathroom. | 1.3614 | 0.03891 | 249 | 177 | 54 | 18 |
663 | Turns out my daughter didn't want it after all. | 1.3614 | 0.04133 | 249 | 183 | 42 | 24 |
664 | It's the only way anyone would believe me. | 1.3614 | 0.04054 | 249 | 181 | 46 | 22 |
665 | Getting that kid off the carousel was my toughest challenge | 1.3614 | 0.03891 | 249 | 177 | 54 | 18 |
666 | Have you not read "The Trump Sons' Rules of Hunting"? When you see something rare and beautiful -- hunt it, kill it, and mount it on your wall. | 1.3614 | 0.04093 | 249 | 182 | 44 | 23 |
667 | That one I brought back from my acid trip. | 1.3614 | 0.03849 | 249 | 176 | 56 | 17 |
668 | Yep, I had to beat out the Trump boys for that one. | 1.3614 | 0.04133 | 249 | 183 | 42 | 24 |
669 | That one really upsets the grand-kids. | 1.3614 | 0.03891 | 249 | 177 | 54 | 18 |
670 | Yep, that was quite a trip, if you know what I mean. | 1.3611 | 0.03979 | 252 | 182 | 49 | 21 |
671 | That hunt - it was just magical! | 1.3611 | 0.04096 | 252 | 185 | 43 | 24 |
672 | Hard to find, easy to kill. | 1.3611 | 0.03775 | 252 | 177 | 59 | 16 |
673 | Obviously, fake Gnus! | 1.3608 | 0.04173 | 255 | 190 | 38 | 27 |
674 | You can only hunt it with glitter. | 1.3603 | 0.04035 | 247 | 179 | 47 | 21 |
675 | Extinct now. | 1.3602 | 0.03947 | 236 | 167 | 53 | 16 |
676 | They say they don't exist, and I made sure of that. | 1.3600 | 0.04000 | 250 | 181 | 48 | 21 |
677 | The most difficult part was culling it from the merry-go-round. | 1.3597 | 0.03966 | 253 | 183 | 49 | 21 |
678 | I had to use my six year old daughter as a decoy to get this one! | 1.3597 | 0.03886 | 253 | 181 | 53 | 19 |
679 | My granddaughter no longer speaks to me, of course. | 1.3597 | 0.03966 | 253 | 183 | 49 | 21 |
680 | And with this, my special place in hell is secure. | 1.3592 | 0.04057 | 245 | 178 | 46 | 21 |
681 | My daughter didn’t speak to me for six years, but it was worth it. | 1.3592 | 0.03931 | 245 | 175 | 52 | 18 |
682 | An alternative fact animal but real nonetheless. | 1.3592 | 0.04098 | 245 | 179 | 44 | 22 |
683 | It's a good thing the President nullified the Endangered Species Act | 1.3592 | 0.04179 | 245 | 181 | 40 | 24 |
684 | How I bagged that one is a Grimm story. | 1.3592 | 0.04016 | 245 | 177 | 48 | 20 |
685 | It's my first 1-pointer. | 1.3592 | 0.03845 | 245 | 173 | 56 | 16 |
686 | I’ll admit it – I was pretty high when I bagged that one. | 1.3592 | 0.03845 | 245 | 173 | 56 | 16 |
687 | Why are we still friends with this guy? | 1.3592 | 0.03974 | 245 | 176 | 50 | 19 |
688 | It took one shot to dispel centuries of myth. | 1.3589 | 0.03898 | 248 | 177 | 53 | 18 |
689 | The tricky part was getting it through customs. | 1.3589 | 0.03898 | 248 | 177 | 53 | 18 |
690 | If I didn't shoot it no-one would've believed me. | 1.3586 | 0.04111 | 237 | 172 | 45 | 20 |
691 | Well, now they they don't exist. | 1.3586 | 0.04026 | 251 | 183 | 46 | 22 |
692 | My wife won't speak to me now, so it was worth it. | 1.3586 | 0.03987 | 251 | 182 | 48 | 21 |
693 | They say dreams die hard, but this one only took one shot. | 1.3583 | 0.03953 | 254 | 184 | 49 | 21 |
694 | It's to commemorate my most recent tech start up investment. | 1.3580 | 0.04121 | 243 | 178 | 43 | 22 |
695 | What’s with the candlesticks? | 1.3580 | 0.03865 | 243 | 172 | 55 | 16 |
696 | Well, I've got to be honest with you. It's a carrot. | 1.3580 | 0.03865 | 243 | 172 | 55 | 16 |
697 | Well actually I'm just the proud Grandpa... our little princess bagged it. | 1.3580 | 0.04202 | 243 | 180 | 39 | 24 |
698 | It turns out they weren't extinct—yet. | 1.3580 | 0.04079 | 243 | 177 | 45 | 21 |
699 | Bagged this guy on a Merry-Go-Round in Atlantic City. | 1.3577 | 0.04084 | 246 | 180 | 44 | 22 |
700 | How the hell did I know it was endangered? | 1.3577 | 0.03875 | 246 | 175 | 54 | 17 |
701 | Not so magical now, am I right? | 1.3574 | 0.03861 | 235 | 165 | 56 | 14 |
702 | No, it's not an endangered species, it's an imagined species. | 1.3574 | 0.03967 | 249 | 180 | 49 | 20 |
703 | And Donald Trump was elected president. | 1.3574 | 0.04166 | 249 | 185 | 39 | 25 |
704 | She charged. It was a near myth. | 1.3571 | 0.04013 | 252 | 184 | 46 | 22 |
705 | I got it with a virgin and an AR-15 | 1.3569 | 0.04055 | 255 | 188 | 43 | 24 |
706 | I got some of these on safari trips, others on LSD trips | 1.3568 | 0.03930 | 241 | 172 | 52 | 17 |
707 | ...and for this one, I used a 12-gauge Winchester Rainbow with glitter shot. | 1.3568 | 0.03930 | 241 | 172 | 52 | 17 |
708 | Well, it sure is mythical now. | 1.3568 | 0.03841 | 241 | 170 | 56 | 15 |
709 | So graceful, so magical...I just had to shoot her. | 1.3568 | 0.04102 | 241 | 176 | 44 | 21 |
710 | The real myth is that they can sense danger before it strikes. | 1.3568 | 0.04017 | 241 | 174 | 48 | 19 |
711 | Reality isn't what it used to be. | 1.3562 | 0.04202 | 233 | 171 | 41 | 21 |
712 | ...and then my daughter stopped asking me for things. | 1.3556 | 0.04038 | 239 | 173 | 47 | 19 |
713 | It was nothing compared to hooking that mermaid. | 1.3556 | 0.04038 | 239 | 173 | 47 | 19 |
714 | That was twenty years ago, and my daughter still isn't speaking to me. | 1.3556 | 0.04082 | 239 | 174 | 45 | 20 |
715 | It was extreme hunting. First she granted my wish. Then I shot her. | 1.3556 | 0.04251 | 239 | 178 | 37 | 24 |
716 | She appeared when Trump took office. On my next hunt, I'm going after a flying pig. | 1.3556 | 0.04251 | 239 | 178 | 37 | 24 |
717 | You should’ve seen the centaur that got away. | 1.3556 | 0.04038 | 239 | 173 | 47 | 19 |
718 | Too much? | 1.3550 | 0.04090 | 231 | 167 | 46 | 18 |
719 | You should play the lottery. Trump was elected president and you bagged a unicorn. | 1.3547 | 0.04187 | 234 | 172 | 41 | 21 |
720 | The hard part was finding and hiring a virgin to lure it in.. | 1.3547 | 0.04187 | 234 | 172 | 41 | 21 |
721 | I had to go somewhere over the rainbow to get that one. | 1.3544 | 0.03926 | 237 | 169 | 52 | 16 |
722 | It was very simple, I used a rainbow. | 1.3544 | 0.04104 | 237 | 173 | 44 | 20 |
723 | I was really lucky. I got the last one. | 1.3544 | 0.04104 | 237 | 173 | 44 | 20 |
724 | It cost me my soul, but isn't she magnificent! | 1.3544 | 0.03926 | 237 | 169 | 52 | 16 |
725 | He didn't see me in my metaphor camouflage. | 1.3544 | 0.04233 | 237 | 176 | 38 | 23 |
726 | And that's a souvenir from Eric and Don Jr.'s recent visit to Disney's Magic Kingdom Animal Park. | 1.3544 | 0.04275 | 237 | 177 | 36 | 24 |
727 | Tricky shot, that one, considering the speed of the merry-go-round. | 1.3544 | 0.04016 | 237 | 171 | 48 | 18 |
728 | Oh, no, Foster's not a hunter. He works in our prop department. | 1.3544 | 0.03834 | 237 | 167 | 56 | 14 |
729 | I had to close my dentistry practice after this one. | 1.3544 | 0.04233 | 237 | 176 | 38 | 23 |
730 | ... And then I realized I was growing up, and could never return to Realm of Innocence again. So I figured, why not? | 1.3544 | 0.04191 | 237 | 175 | 40 | 22 |
731 | Eighteen-inch high-horn. Shot with a glitter gun on my artistic licence. Gave the meat to the elves. | 1.3532 | 0.04215 | 235 | 174 | 39 | 22 |
732 | Well, I thought it was a rhino. | 1.3532 | 0.04083 | 235 | 171 | 45 | 19 |
733 | Pink, fluffy, dancing on rainbows but no match for my daughter's AR15. | 1.3532 | 0.04038 | 235 | 170 | 47 | 18 |
734 | It's a bit of a disappointment. We were hunting for Sasquatch. | 1.3532 | 0.04038 | 235 | 170 | 47 | 18 |
735 | For some reason my granddaughter refuses to visit anymore | 1.3532 | 0.03901 | 235 | 167 | 53 | 15 |
736 | I shot that one at Toys-R-Us. | 1.3532 | 0.04171 | 235 | 173 | 41 | 21 |
737 | Don Jr. said, "Go ahead, it's not like it's going to live forever!" | 1.3532 | 0.04128 | 235 | 172 | 43 | 20 |
738 | They're said to symbolize purity and innocence. Nothing a 180-grain thirty-ought-six round can't handle, of course. | 1.3532 | 0.03947 | 235 | 168 | 51 | 16 |
739 | My daughter is still mad at me. | 1.3532 | 0.04083 | 235 | 171 | 45 | 19 |
740 | ...So now you know why I’m banned from Scotland. | 1.3532 | 0.04083 | 235 | 171 | 45 | 19 |
741 | It's amazing how impressed people are until they find out it's just a snow-cone I glued on. | 1.3532 | 0.04038 | 235 | 170 | 47 | 18 |
742 | And they say it doesn‘t pay off chasing rainbows. | 1.3532 | 0.03759 | 235 | 164 | 59 | 12 |
743 | Never underestimate the power of a rainbow-glitter gun, my friends. | 1.3532 | 0.03611 | 235 | 161 | 65 | 9 |
744 | Yup, got it at the Trump Mirage going out of business sale. | 1.3523 | 0.04840 | 176 | 130 | 30 | 16 |
745 | It wasn't as easy a shot as you would think - that carousel was really spinning. | 1.3519 | 0.03874 | 233 | 165 | 54 | 14 |
746 | Man...I love mushrooms... | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
747 | I think it makes the room really pop | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
748 | I bagged that one at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
749 | No, they don't exist... not anymore, at least. | 1.3519 | 0.03969 | 233 | 167 | 50 | 16 |
750 | Mythical my ass! | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
751 | And I bagged that one at my granddaughter's 5th birthday party | 1.3519 | 0.04015 | 233 | 168 | 48 | 17 |
752 | I traded Rudolph for this one | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
753 | True Higgins, apart from misplacing my glasses, the rhino safari was superb. | 1.3519 | 0.04239 | 233 | 173 | 38 | 22 |
754 | We don’t allow our granddaughters in this room. | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
755 | People think it’s a unicorn, but that’s just how it’s attached to the wall. | 1.3519 | 0.04106 | 233 | 170 | 44 | 19 |
756 | Is that an original Hermle mantelpiece clock? | 1.3519 | 0.04283 | 233 | 174 | 36 | 23 |
757 | I wasn't wearing my reading glasses-- I thought the bidding was for a Mountie uniform." | 1.3519 | 0.04410 | 233 | 177 | 30 | 26 |
758 | I prefer to mix fantasy with reality, just like the current administration. | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
759 | I've always wanted one, and the EPA says it's permitted now. | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
760 | Endangered? They're practically nonexistent. | 1.3519 | 0.04015 | 233 | 168 | 48 | 17 |
761 | It's still only a one-point buck. | 1.3519 | 0.04239 | 233 | 173 | 38 | 22 |
762 | Fake endangered species. | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
763 | Despite what you may have heard from the Mainstream Media, these things are vicious killing machines. | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
764 | There was a fully grown human male inside. | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
765 | Actually, I hit that one with my car. | 1.3519 | 0.04015 | 233 | 168 | 48 | 17 |
766 | Before you judge me, I didn't shoot it. It ran out in front of my truck. | 1.3519 | 0.03778 | 233 | 163 | 58 | 12 |
767 | I was banned from Disneyland for life for that one. | 1.3519 | 0.04195 | 233 | 172 | 40 | 21 |
768 | He said he was the very last unicorn, but you know, they always say that. | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
769 | Oh, it was an easy hunt, but the guy running the merry-go-round made it a true challenge. | 1.3519 | 0.03922 | 233 | 166 | 52 | 15 |
770 | I got that one right before carousels went extinct | 1.3519 | 0.04239 | 233 | 173 | 38 | 22 |
771 | I bagged it in the '60s. It was a different time back then. | 1.3519 | 0.03826 | 233 | 164 | 56 | 13 |
772 | For a nonexistent mythical creature, she put up quite a fight. | 1.3519 | 0.04239 | 233 | 173 | 38 | 22 |
773 | And that's the one I like to hang my hat on. | 1.3519 | 0.03969 | 233 | 167 | 50 | 16 |
774 | Turns out they're not covered by the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
775 | That's what happens when you give a shotgun to a virgin. | 1.3519 | 0.04061 | 233 | 169 | 46 | 18 |
776 | It's not real. Anymore. | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
777 | Of course it's not real, but his hairpiece reminds me of Trump's. | 1.3519 | 0.04015 | 233 | 168 | 48 | 17 |
778 | It turned out my granddaughter wanted a live unicorn. She doesn't visit much anymore. | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
779 | Hard to believe, but I think I got the last one. | 1.3519 | 0.04151 | 233 | 171 | 42 | 20 |
780 | My granddaughter hasn’t spoken to me since. | 1.3519 | 0.04106 | 233 | 170 | 44 | 19 |
781 | Whadda ya mean "there's nothing there"? | 1.3517 | 0.04285 | 236 | 177 | 35 | 24 |
782 | I had no choice. It was attacking a snow leopard. | 1.3517 | 0.04024 | 236 | 171 | 47 | 18 |
783 | The steaks were magical. | 1.3517 | 0.04024 | 236 | 171 | 47 | 18 |
784 | Oh that one’s just to mess with my grand-daughter. | 1.3506 | 0.03990 | 231 | 166 | 49 | 16 |
785 | It was a fantasy of mine | 1.3506 | 0.03990 | 231 | 166 | 49 | 16 |
786 | Here's the one Ivanka bagged. | 1.3506 | 0.04129 | 231 | 169 | 43 | 19 |
787 | Up until the end, it insisted that it was a figment of my imagination. | 1.3506 | 0.03895 | 231 | 164 | 53 | 14 |
788 | Fortunately, the Department of the Interior eased some burdensome regulations. | 1.3506 | 0.03990 | 231 | 166 | 49 | 16 |
789 | That one I took down at the 65th Street Carousel in Central Park. | 1.3506 | 0.04129 | 231 | 169 | 43 | 19 |
790 | A little gaudy for my taste, but I shot it for the grandkids. | 1.3506 | 0.03990 | 231 | 166 | 49 | 16 |
791 | I got it from a Creationist who swears on his bible that it is authentic! | 1.3506 | 0.04037 | 231 | 167 | 47 | 17 |
792 | Let's just say that I got that one in the sixties. | 1.3506 | 0.03990 | 231 | 166 | 49 | 16 |
793 | I know — I thought they were exstinct too. So I figured this was my one opportunity... | 1.3506 | 0.04084 | 231 | 168 | 45 | 18 |
794 | ...and I caught this beauty while testing out my new rifle on LSD | 1.3506 | 0.04129 | 231 | 169 | 43 | 19 |
795 | My daughter hasn't spoken to me in 6 years. | 1.3504 | 0.04224 | 234 | 174 | 38 | 22 |
796 | On the flip side, they don't bring the grandkids over as much any more | 1.3504 | 0.04001 | 234 | 169 | 48 | 17 |
797 | After the first shot there was glitter everywhere. | 1.3504 | 0.04136 | 234 | 172 | 42 | 20 |
798 | Yup. Unicorn hunting. Pretty much the only upside to being a virgin. | 1.3504 | 0.04136 | 234 | 172 | 42 | 20 |
799 | It was a mystical, magical experience. Then I shot him. | 1.3502 | 0.04098 | 237 | 174 | 43 | 20 |
800 | Yeah, it was the last of it's kind and I shot it. Tell me it's not a great country! | 1.3493 | 0.04153 | 229 | 168 | 42 | 19 |
801 | I nabbed this one at Emily’s 7th birthday party. | 1.3493 | 0.04199 | 229 | 169 | 40 | 20 |
802 | The hardest part was finding a virgin to go with me. | 1.3491 | 0.03929 | 232 | 166 | 51 | 15 |
803 | They're actually pretty easy to bag. The hard part was getting a hunting license in Narnia. | 1.3482 | 0.04121 | 224 | 163 | 44 | 17 |
804 | I had to use my imagination to bag that one. | 1.3482 | 0.04023 | 224 | 161 | 48 | 15 |
805 | There was a point when dentistry wasn’t enough. | 1.3480 | 0.04083 | 227 | 165 | 45 | 17 |
806 | Then it spoke to me about destiny or something like that. I don't know, I just shot it | 1.3476 | 0.04099 | 233 | 171 | 43 | 19 |
807 | I got everything I wanted from my first two wishes. | 1.3470 | 0.04084 | 219 | 158 | 46 | 15 |
808 | My hunting guide said "Try this little pill." And I did. | 1.3468 | 0.04096 | 222 | 161 | 45 | 16 |
809 | The toughest part was timing the rotation of the carousel to get a clean shot. | 1.3468 | 0.04290 | 222 | 165 | 37 | 20 |
810 | So, just the one then? | 1.3468 | 0.04145 | 222 | 162 | 43 | 17 |
811 | Eric and Donald Jr. couldn't be more thrilled. It's not just an endangered species; it's the last of its kind! | 1.3468 | 0.04290 | 222 | 165 | 37 | 20 |
812 | It looked better than it tasted. | 1.3468 | 0.04045 | 222 | 160 | 47 | 15 |
813 | I bagged that one in Silicon Valley when it leapt out from behind a rainbow. | 1.3465 | 0.04020 | 228 | 165 | 47 | 16 |
814 | I know we're all here drinking his scotch, but doesn't Don Jr. get on your nerves sometimes? | 1.3456 | 0.04260 | 217 | 160 | 39 | 18 |
815 | It’s a rhino ... I shot him on Halloween. | 1.3456 | 0.04456 | 217 | 164 | 31 | 22 |
816 | It must have taken a lot of imagination to chase that one down. | 1.3455 | 0.04316 | 220 | 164 | 36 | 20 |
817 | They're not so much imaginary as they are extinct. | 1.3455 | 0.04268 | 220 | 163 | 38 | 19 |
818 | Once I lured her into reality she was fair game. | 1.3455 | 0.04017 | 220 | 158 | 48 | 14 |
819 | No, if it's mythical it can't be considered endangered. | 1.3455 | 0.04017 | 220 | 158 | 48 | 14 |
820 | The downside is that my granddaughter has disowned me. | 1.3455 | 0.04169 | 220 | 161 | 42 | 17 |
821 | I know what you're both thinking, but it helps with population control in Narnia. | 1.3455 | 0.04268 | 220 | 163 | 38 | 19 |
822 | I tracked him over the rainbow to where blue birds fly. | 1.3455 | 0.03859 | 220 | 155 | 54 | 11 |
823 | Rainbows are the best bait but virgins will work in a pinch. | 1.3455 | 0.04169 | 220 | 161 | 42 | 17 |
824 | The one with the wings got away . | 1.3455 | 0.04017 | 220 | 158 | 48 | 14 |
825 | My granddaughter, of course, is no longer speaking to me, but it was worth it. | 1.3455 | 0.04119 | 220 | 160 | 44 | 16 |
826 | That? That was a "thank you" from Don, Jr. and Eric. | 1.3455 | 0.04119 | 220 | 160 | 44 | 16 |
827 | Because with a Pegasus, you have a whole body to stuff, not to mention the wings. | 1.3455 | 0.04169 | 220 | 161 | 42 | 17 |
828 | So I said, "Mythical creature my ass" | 1.3455 | 0.04068 | 220 | 159 | 46 | 15 |
829 | I had to wear rainbow camo to get close enough to this one. | 1.3455 | 0.04219 | 220 | 162 | 40 | 18 |
830 | ...and was my daughter pissed! | 1.3455 | 0.04316 | 220 | 164 | 36 | 20 |
831 | I was lucky to get it. It was the last one. | 1.3455 | 0.04119 | 220 | 160 | 44 | 16 |
832 | I just need a Pegasus to complete the collection. | 1.3455 | 0.03965 | 220 | 157 | 50 | 13 |
833 | Strangely, he said he didn't think humans really existed. I think he's pretty sure now. | 1.3455 | 0.04316 | 220 | 164 | 36 | 20 |
834 | I was under some pressure. Jones, next door, has a Sasquatch mounted over his fireplace. | 1.3455 | 0.03912 | 220 | 156 | 52 | 12 |
835 | Well, they don't exist anymore. | 1.3455 | 0.04119 | 220 | 160 | 44 | 16 |
836 | And the one in in the middle I shot in 1969 while I was doing acid. | 1.3445 | 0.04322 | 209 | 154 | 38 | 17 |
837 | The magic eventually wears off ... | 1.3443 | 0.03952 | 212 | 150 | 51 | 11 |
838 | You have to believe it to see it! | 1.3440 | 0.04244 | 218 | 161 | 39 | 18 |
839 | On the plus side — it does add a lot of color into the room. | 1.3440 | 0.04040 | 218 | 157 | 47 | 14 |
840 | I think we're cursed now, but it looks good on the wall. | 1.3440 | 0.04040 | 218 | 157 | 47 | 14 |
841 | Where do I begin. Once upon a time in a land far , far away...... | 1.3440 | 0.03987 | 218 | 156 | 49 | 13 |
842 | I tell ya, that day was magical | 1.3440 | 0.03934 | 218 | 155 | 51 | 12 |
843 | It's really just a donkey, but you know how I like to embellish. | 1.3440 | 0.03879 | 218 | 154 | 53 | 11 |
844 | Narnia. 1958. One shot. | 1.3440 | 0.04143 | 218 | 159 | 43 | 16 |
845 | Bagged that one at a Toys R Us in Trenton.... | 1.3440 | 0.04342 | 218 | 163 | 35 | 20 |
846 | It was a dream vacation. | 1.3440 | 0.04244 | 218 | 161 | 39 | 18 |
847 | It wasn’t the LSD after all. | 1.3440 | 0.04342 | 218 | 163 | 35 | 20 |
848 | I bagged him during the blizzard of '06. My Land Rover slid off the road and struck a carousel. | 1.3440 | 0.04194 | 218 | 160 | 41 | 17 |
849 | Now that's a trophy you can hang your hat on! | 1.3440 | 0.04092 | 218 | 158 | 45 | 15 |
850 | ...and I bagged this on an acid trip back in the '70s. | 1.3440 | 0.04194 | 218 | 160 | 41 | 17 |
851 | Goes to show, no one is enforcing the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3439 | 0.03950 | 221 | 158 | 50 | 13 |
852 | Some say Unicorns don't exist, so I hunted down the last one to prove them wrong. | 1.3438 | 0.04257 | 224 | 167 | 37 | 20 |
853 | It was an unbelievable shot. | 1.3431 | 0.04283 | 204 | 149 | 40 | 15 |
854 | My daughter still isn't speaking to me. | 1.3426 | 0.04063 | 216 | 156 | 46 | 14 |
855 | That reminds me of our trip to Burning Man. | 1.3426 | 0.04063 | 216 | 156 | 46 | 14 |
856 | My daughter is 36 and she still hasn't forgiven me. | 1.3426 | 0.04167 | 216 | 158 | 42 | 16 |
857 | It was the sixties. I was on mushrooms. | 1.3426 | 0.03955 | 216 | 154 | 50 | 12 |
858 | My children needed years of psychotherapy after this one. | 1.3426 | 0.03900 | 216 | 153 | 52 | 11 |
859 | I was aiming at Bigfoot. | 1.3426 | 0.04115 | 216 | 157 | 44 | 15 |
860 | I bagged this beauty at my niece's birthday party. | 1.3426 | 0.04219 | 216 | 159 | 40 | 17 |
861 | It's amazing what 3-D printers can do now. | 1.3426 | 0.04167 | 216 | 158 | 42 | 16 |
862 | Turns out my granddaughter wanted a plush one instead. | 1.3426 | 0.04063 | 216 | 156 | 46 | 14 |
863 | Surprisingly, unicorns are not on the endangered species list. | 1.3426 | 0.04167 | 216 | 158 | 42 | 16 |
864 | I never saw one until Trump was elected. | 1.3426 | 0.04269 | 216 | 160 | 38 | 18 |
865 | There I was alone in the woods with my gun and a fist full of psilocybin mushrooms. | 1.3426 | 0.04063 | 216 | 156 | 46 | 14 |
866 | Greenpeace wasn't thrilled about this one. | 1.3426 | 0.04269 | 216 | 160 | 38 | 18 |
867 | They say they're magical but the taste is just so so | 1.3426 | 0.04167 | 216 | 158 | 42 | 16 |
868 | I originally wanted a rhino's horn but do you know how hard it is to find one? | 1.3426 | 0.03731 | 216 | 150 | 58 | 8 |
869 | No - actually my Daughter bagged that one at her last slumber party. | 1.3426 | 0.04369 | 216 | 162 | 34 | 20 |
870 | Fanciful thoughts were out of control. We had to cull the herd. | 1.3425 | 0.04177 | 219 | 161 | 41 | 17 |
871 | Of course it's fake, Dale. | 1.3425 | 0.04127 | 219 | 160 | 43 | 16 |
872 | I sprinkled a mixture of innocence and childhood dreams at the base of the rainbow, then waited with my AR. | 1.3425 | 0.04227 | 219 | 162 | 39 | 18 |
873 | Yeah it's sad, but the steaks were out of this world! | 1.3425 | 0.04076 | 219 | 159 | 45 | 15 |
874 | I shot two in Africa and one on the carousel at Coney Island | 1.3425 | 0.04076 | 219 | 159 | 45 | 15 |
875 | Without hunting, their populations would just grow out of control. | 1.3423 | 0.04088 | 222 | 162 | 44 | 16 |
876 | Had to shoot it. Blasted animal never stopped talking. | 1.3411 | 0.04139 | 214 | 156 | 43 | 15 |
877 | Yep, killed it with kindness. | 1.3411 | 0.04139 | 214 | 156 | 43 | 15 |
878 | Maybe I shouldn't have. Turns out to be much rarer than I thought. | 1.3411 | 0.04192 | 214 | 157 | 41 | 16 |
879 | Technically it’s not an endangered species | 1.3411 | 0.04139 | 214 | 156 | 43 | 15 |
880 | Well, I had to shoot it just to prove that they did once exist. | 1.3411 | 0.04192 | 214 | 157 | 41 | 16 |
881 | Unfortunately for him, his ability to fart glitter and poop rainbows made him stand out from the herd. | 1.3411 | 0.04192 | 214 | 157 | 41 | 16 |
882 | Everything else was extinct. | 1.3411 | 0.04446 | 214 | 162 | 31 | 21 |
883 | You're right, Jim. The view is much better on this side of the exhibit. | 1.3411 | 0.04346 | 214 | 160 | 35 | 19 |
884 | I poached the water buffalo in India, the impala in South Africa, and the dumb, rainbow, goat-horse looking thing I shot at my own daughter's birthday. | 1.3411 | 0.04396 | 214 | 161 | 33 | 20 |
885 | Yeah, Scott Pruitt allows them to be hunted now. | 1.3411 | 0.04139 | 214 | 156 | 43 | 15 |
886 | If you like this one, you should see the mermaid in our fish tank. | 1.3411 | 0.04032 | 214 | 154 | 47 | 13 |
887 | That was the very last time my daughter came with me on a hunting trip. | 1.3411 | 0.04244 | 214 | 158 | 39 | 17 |
888 | I had to kill it with kindness. | 1.3411 | 0.04244 | 214 | 158 | 39 | 17 |
889 | You could argue that this is proof that unicorns don't exist, at least anymore. | 1.3411 | 0.03977 | 214 | 153 | 49 | 12 |
890 | Yup... bagged that one on the Central Park carousel running at top speed. | 1.3410 | 0.04099 | 217 | 158 | 44 | 15 |
891 | Once he lifted the ban on trophies, suddenly it wasn’t enough just to kill the dreams and aspirations of the younger generation. | 1.3410 | 0.04352 | 217 | 163 | 34 | 20 |
892 | My granddaughter doesn't talk to me anymore. | 1.3410 | 0.03994 | 217 | 156 | 48 | 13 |
893 | Haven't seen one of them since the 60's. | 1.3410 | 0.04099 | 217 | 158 | 44 | 15 |
894 | My wife said she wanted to put a little magic back in our relationship. Turns out she meant something else. | 1.3410 | 0.04099 | 217 | 158 | 44 | 15 |
895 | We worked out sort of a compromise. I didn't shoot her. And she agreed to pose there from nine to five, four days a week. | 1.3410 | 0.03940 | 217 | 155 | 50 | 12 |
896 | At first I had my doubts about a merry-go-round safari. | 1.3410 | 0.04099 | 217 | 158 | 44 | 15 |
897 | I bagged this one on a merry-go-round. | 1.3410 | 0.04352 | 217 | 163 | 34 | 20 |
898 | I didn't have a choice. Its last words were 'The NRA is a terrorist organization'. | 1.3409 | 0.04451 | 220 | 168 | 29 | 23 |
899 | Even more impressive is the mermaid in the study. | 1.3398 | 0.04135 | 206 | 149 | 44 | 13 |
900 | He was hiding in a patch of rainbows and butterflies. | 1.3397 | 0.04094 | 209 | 151 | 45 | 13 |
901 | Field dressing was the strangest part...rainbow everywhere! | 1.3397 | 0.04150 | 209 | 152 | 43 | 14 |
902 | The grandkids were surprised, but not in the way I expected. | 1.3397 | 0.03922 | 209 | 148 | 51 | 10 |
903 | With all the hoopla these days about guns, I killed this one with fairy dust. | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
904 | Nailed this one on an LSD expedition. | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
905 | I tracked this one through 3 miles of glitter before I bagged him. | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
906 | To be honest, I was aiming for the Pegasus. | 1.3396 | 0.04110 | 212 | 154 | 44 | 14 |
907 | Nerf gun, 100 yards. Close one! She was prancing right at me. | 1.3396 | 0.04110 | 212 | 154 | 44 | 14 |
908 | Now this one comes with quite a story. | 1.3396 | 0.04217 | 212 | 156 | 40 | 16 |
909 | I spared her from the misery of children's television. | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
910 | The virgin is still at the taxidermist | 1.3396 | 0.04373 | 212 | 159 | 34 | 19 |
911 | Bought this one at a garage sale. Got it half off since its missing a horn. | 1.3396 | 0.04217 | 212 | 156 | 40 | 16 |
912 | It was the 70's. What can I say? | 1.3396 | 0.04322 | 212 | 158 | 36 | 18 |
913 | Got that one at my granddaughter’s birthday party in Jersey. | 1.3396 | 0.04373 | 212 | 159 | 34 | 19 |
914 | But I still don’t have a trophy wife! | 1.3396 | 0.04110 | 212 | 154 | 44 | 14 |
915 | It was advertised as a Fantasy Safari. | 1.3396 | 0.04055 | 212 | 153 | 46 | 13 |
916 | Can you keep a secret? The middle one was out of season. | 1.3396 | 0.03999 | 212 | 152 | 48 | 12 |
917 | The hardest part has been explaining this to my granddaughter. | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
918 | So my wife said: there are more chances of you hunting an unicorn that our son finding a job | 1.3396 | 0.04270 | 212 | 157 | 38 | 17 |
919 | 1. Yea, hunting on LSD, what was I thinking? 2. Phyllis doesn’t let the grandkids in here | 1.3394 | 0.04286 | 218 | 163 | 36 | 19 |
920 | She said, ‘this deed shall carry a terrible curse,’ but honestly, I feel pretty good. | 1.3394 | 0.03836 | 221 | 157 | 53 | 11 |
921 | I took it out of storage the moment my daughter left for college. | 1.3381 | 0.04078 | 210 | 152 | 45 | 13 |
922 | With the comb-over..you barely notice, | 1.3381 | 0.04078 | 210 | 152 | 45 | 13 |
923 | You’re right, it does have Trump’s hair. | 1.3381 | 0.04078 | 210 | 152 | 45 | 13 |
924 | I bagged that one at a NRA "Ethics in Action" seminar. | 1.3381 | 0.04401 | 210 | 158 | 33 | 19 |
925 | Believe it or not, an hour later I missed my shot at a flying pig. | 1.3381 | 0.04401 | 210 | 158 | 33 | 19 |
926 | That beauty put me in the NRA Hall of Fame | 1.3381 | 0.04188 | 210 | 154 | 41 | 15 |
927 | Now of course back when I killed it, these things were everywhere! | 1.3381 | 0.04188 | 210 | 154 | 41 | 15 |
928 | I took first place in my fantasy hunting league. | 1.3381 | 0.04401 | 210 | 158 | 33 | 19 |
929 | I bagged that one in Neverland. | 1.3381 | 0.04401 | 210 | 158 | 33 | 19 |
930 | This one's kind of a blur. Bagged him near Woodstock in '69 I think. | 1.3380 | 0.04093 | 213 | 155 | 44 | 14 |
931 | I'm only a Sasquatch away from the magical Big Five. | 1.3380 | 0.04039 | 213 | 154 | 46 | 13 |
932 | As soon as Trump took them off the Endangered Species List, I bagged one. | 1.3380 | 0.04147 | 213 | 156 | 42 | 15 |
933 | The Trump administration really relaxed the hunting laws. | 1.3380 | 0.04253 | 213 | 158 | 38 | 17 |
934 | It's actually harder to find a good Scotch. | 1.3380 | 0.04210 | 216 | 160 | 39 | 17 |
935 | I bagged those two on a safari, and that one on an acid trip. | 1.3379 | 0.04068 | 219 | 160 | 44 | 15 |
936 | It was a fairy tale come true. | 1.3379 | 0.03963 | 219 | 158 | 48 | 13 |
937 | Hopefully she is done with her “My Little Pony’, phase now. | 1.3365 | 0.04322 | 208 | 155 | 36 | 17 |
938 | ...and this one I shot on a hallucinogenic trip in the 70's | 1.3365 | 0.04102 | 208 | 151 | 44 | 13 |
939 | There were a lot of imaginary protests. | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
940 | I haven’t seen the grand kids in years. Why do you ask? | 1.3365 | 0.04322 | 208 | 155 | 36 | 17 |
941 | The others are from safari - this was bagged on a California acid trip. | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
942 | My kind of wall is to promote diversity. | 1.3365 | 0.04322 | 208 | 155 | 36 | 17 |
943 | My grandkids think I picked it up in Neverland but the truth is that I put it together from a kit. | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
944 | Yes, I'm damed for all eternity, but then the blood of the innocent gives me eternal life, so it's a wash! | 1.3365 | 0.04102 | 208 | 151 | 44 | 13 |
945 | What about the one in the middle, John? Did you kill that one as it fiercely charged at you too? | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
946 | It came to me in a dream. | 1.3365 | 0.04102 | 208 | 151 | 44 | 13 |
947 | Bagged her at the end of the rainbow. | 1.3365 | 0.04045 | 208 | 150 | 46 | 12 |
948 | That's nice, but it's only a one-point. | 1.3365 | 0.04214 | 208 | 153 | 40 | 15 |
949 | Of course, I have to hide it when the grandkids are over. | 1.3365 | 0.03928 | 208 | 148 | 50 | 10 |
950 | I think the acid is kicking in | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
951 | Yeh, about as rare as a black man being invited into my den, I’d say. | 1.3365 | 0.04322 | 208 | 155 | 36 | 17 |
952 | I bagged him on an acid trip in 1969... | 1.3365 | 0.03869 | 208 | 147 | 52 | 9 |
953 | This one? Self-defense. The Carousel was headed straight for me. | 1.3365 | 0.04268 | 208 | 154 | 38 | 16 |
954 | After just missing the centaur I was happy to bag this. | 1.3365 | 0.04102 | 208 | 151 | 44 | 13 |
955 | Don't repeat this, but I touch up her eyelashes with my wife's mascara. | 1.3365 | 0.04158 | 208 | 152 | 42 | 14 |
956 | I'm not exaggerating when I say the guy running that merry-go-round put up a heck of a fight. | 1.3365 | 0.04376 | 208 | 156 | 34 | 18 |
957 | Little Chloe wasn't too happy about that one, but I told her it was being mean to the other unicorns. | 1.3365 | 0.04268 | 208 | 154 | 38 | 16 |
958 | The irony is I was out looking for Big Foot when I chanced across this beauty. | 1.3365 | 0.04268 | 208 | 154 | 38 | 16 |
959 | Well, after the divorce, my daughter asked for a ‘My Little Pony,’ and I thought ‘You know what? I’ll do you one better. | 1.3365 | 0.04268 | 208 | 154 | 38 | 16 |
960 | Not to worry; it's never been listed on the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3365 | 0.03987 | 208 | 149 | 48 | 11 |
961 | Ah, ok. Now I'm stoned. | 1.3365 | 0.04102 | 208 | 151 | 44 | 13 |
962 | This was the same day I met your mother. | 1.3364 | 0.04077 | 214 | 156 | 44 | 14 |
963 | Actually, it tasted more like Spotted Owl. | 1.3350 | 0.04295 | 206 | 153 | 37 | 16 |
964 | You're not really rich until you've killed an imaginary animal. | 1.3350 | 0.04126 | 206 | 150 | 43 | 13 |
965 | I bagged it at my daughter's fifth birthday party. | 1.3350 | 0.04295 | 206 | 153 | 37 | 16 |
966 | The other end dispenses artisan spices and ice cubes. | 1.3350 | 0.04183 | 206 | 151 | 41 | 14 |
967 | Honestly, I just don't care that this created a special place in Hell for me. | 1.3350 | 0.04349 | 206 | 154 | 35 | 17 |
968 | Actually, that one I bought at a garage sale. | 1.3350 | 0.04239 | 206 | 152 | 39 | 15 |
969 | I'm not into mythical but it kind of rounds out the collection, | 1.3350 | 0.04295 | 206 | 153 | 37 | 16 |
970 | Wasn’t so lucky after all ... | 1.3350 | 0.04295 | 206 | 153 | 37 | 16 |
971 | It's the only thing that keeps my damn grandkids from stopping by. | 1.3350 | 0.04183 | 206 | 151 | 41 | 14 |
972 | Isn't she a beauty, she was my first carousel ride. | 1.3350 | 0.04404 | 206 | 155 | 33 | 18 |
973 | Lucky for me, this one's magic powers were limited to card tricks. | 1.3350 | 0.03828 | 206 | 145 | 53 | 8 |
974 | So this is how I got my kids to stay out of the den. | 1.3350 | 0.04126 | 206 | 150 | 43 | 13 |
975 | A prime example of fake gnus. | 1.3350 | 0.04404 | 206 | 155 | 33 | 18 |
976 | That unicorn's horn is fake. The real one was ground up and sent off to battle E.D. in China. | 1.3350 | 0.04295 | 206 | 153 | 37 | 16 |
977 | Mythologically, it's not murder. | 1.3350 | 0.04126 | 206 | 150 | 43 | 13 |
978 | Wow, shot through the forehead with an ice cream cone! | 1.3350 | 0.04457 | 206 | 156 | 31 | 19 |
979 | Took me a while to scratch this one off my bucket list. | 1.3349 | 0.04141 | 209 | 153 | 42 | 14 |
980 | Yeah, a new thing: safaris for little girls. My eight year old loved it. | 1.3349 | 0.04358 | 209 | 157 | 34 | 18 |
981 | I nailed him at a merry-go-round. | 1.3349 | 0.04410 | 209 | 158 | 32 | 19 |
982 | Traditional weapons were ineffective, had to use social media. | 1.3349 | 0.04085 | 209 | 152 | 44 | 13 |
983 | Then I had a second thought, "What the heck, I am a Republican after all." | 1.3349 | 0.04358 | 209 | 157 | 34 | 18 |
984 | Well, it did grant me one wish... | 1.3349 | 0.04101 | 212 | 155 | 43 | 14 |
985 | My complete set of Care Bears is in the other room. | 1.3333 | 0.04377 | 204 | 153 | 34 | 17 |
986 | I thought better about posting this one on Facebook. | 1.3333 | 0.04287 | 210 | 157 | 36 | 17 |
987 | It's actually just a white mare, but I finished her off with a piece of rebar. | 1.3333 | 0.04432 | 204 | 154 | 32 | 18 |
988 | The guide said my hunting fees would fund their conservation. | 1.3333 | 0.04109 | 207 | 151 | 43 | 13 |
989 | Actually, it's not a vestigial horn. It's a party hat. | 1.3333 | 0.04277 | 207 | 154 | 37 | 16 |
990 | If you find this hard to believe, you should see the parking spot I found this morning. | 1.3333 | 0.03993 | 207 | 149 | 47 | 11 |
991 | 'That was long ago when I still believed.' | 1.3333 | 0.04377 | 204 | 153 | 34 | 17 |
992 | It was easy to track them in my sights since they kept going around and around in the same circle... | 1.3333 | 0.04208 | 204 | 150 | 40 | 14 |
993 | Like it? I got the very last one. | 1.3333 | 0.04265 | 204 | 151 | 38 | 15 |
994 | apparently, being mythical is no protection | 1.3333 | 0.04150 | 204 | 149 | 42 | 13 |
995 | Shooting them is easy. Finding them is tough. | 1.3333 | 0.04166 | 207 | 152 | 41 | 14 |
996 | My therapist told me that I needed to quit childish things, so I took up hunting | 1.3333 | 0.04208 | 204 | 150 | 40 | 14 |
997 | Just north of Woodstock in 1969. | 1.3333 | 0.04321 | 204 | 152 | 36 | 16 |
998 | I bagged that one on a '60's college acid trip. | 1.3333 | 0.04491 | 207 | 158 | 29 | 20 |
999 | So what's the big deal, it's only a one pointer? | 1.3333 | 0.03955 | 210 | 151 | 48 | 11 |
1000 | And this one here I killed using only the power of my imagination. | 1.3333 | 0.04377 | 204 | 153 | 34 | 17 |
1001 | The therapist said I needed to start confronting my internalized sense of toxic masculinity. | 1.3333 | 0.04092 | 204 | 148 | 44 | 12 |
1002 | The matching rainbow is in the garage. | 1.3333 | 0.04092 | 204 | 148 | 44 | 12 |
1003 | I didn't find the horn unusual, but then he said my name out loud . . . | 1.3333 | 0.04377 | 204 | 153 | 34 | 17 |
1004 | My granddaughter doesn't talk to me anymore. | 1.3333 | 0.04208 | 204 | 150 | 40 | 14 |
1005 | Turns out that was the last one. | 1.3333 | 0.04032 | 204 | 147 | 46 | 11 |
1006 | The kids wanted to go to Disney, but I wanted to go on safari, so we compromised. | 1.3333 | 0.03972 | 204 | 146 | 48 | 10 |
1007 | Well, I needed a hobby after I retired from lobbying. | 1.3317 | 0.04191 | 205 | 151 | 40 | 14 |
1008 | It's really a Zebra. But a Taxidermist from the NRA, said he could keep me out of trouble. | 1.3317 | 0.04292 | 202 | 150 | 37 | 15 |
1009 | The rainbow piles make them surprisingly easy to track. | 1.3317 | 0.04175 | 202 | 148 | 41 | 13 |
1010 | There were two. Some guy named Noah rescued the other one | 1.3317 | 0.04405 | 202 | 152 | 33 | 17 |
1011 | Nasty things - one shot and there’s gumdrops everywhere. | 1.3317 | 0.04292 | 202 | 150 | 37 | 15 |
1012 | I wish I could elaborate, but the sixties were crazy. | 1.3317 | 0.04116 | 202 | 147 | 43 | 12 |
1013 | Well, it was never listed as "endangered." | 1.3300 | 0.04200 | 200 | 147 | 40 | 13 |
1014 | Finally I understand why his seven year old daughter broke all his golf clubs. | 1.3300 | 0.04376 | 200 | 150 | 34 | 16 |
1015 | Did I every tell you about my safari to Narnia? | 1.3300 | 0.04376 | 200 | 150 | 34 | 16 |
1016 | And then there was none. | 1.3300 | 0.04318 | 200 | 149 | 36 | 15 |
1017 | Yes, unicorns did exist. | 1.3300 | 0.03954 | 200 | 143 | 48 | 9 |
1018 | I bagged this one on a Magical Mystery Tour. | 1.3300 | 0.04260 | 200 | 148 | 38 | 14 |
1019 | Granddaughter bagged the one in the middle. Kind of a disturbed kid. | 1.3300 | 0.04376 | 200 | 150 | 34 | 16 |
1020 | The hardest thing was getting the virgin to help. | 1.3300 | 0.04376 | 200 | 150 | 34 | 16 |
1021 | . . . so, apparently I'm no longer welcome at the Twilight Sparkle Wildlife Preserve. | 1.3300 | 0.04140 | 200 | 146 | 42 | 12 |
1022 | I slightly misheard when she requested a legendary feast to celebrate our anniversary. | 1.3300 | 0.04376 | 200 | 150 | 34 | 16 |
1023 | Trump is really rolling back restrictions on trophy hunting | 1.3299 | 0.04539 | 197 | 150 | 29 | 18 |
1024 | With the glitter and rainbow camouflage, she never saw me coming. | 1.3299 | 0.04423 | 197 | 148 | 33 | 16 |
1025 | We would have preferred a Centaur-piece. | 1.3299 | 0.04244 | 197 | 145 | 39 | 13 |
1026 | It's a fake. But don't tell the Trump boys. They paid off on a huge bet. | 1.3299 | 0.04596 | 197 | 151 | 27 | 19 |
1027 | You don't see many of these party animals anymore | 1.3299 | 0.04244 | 197 | 145 | 39 | 13 |
1028 | I didn't shoot that one. It died of apoplexy when Trump was elected president. | 1.3299 | 0.04652 | 197 | 152 | 25 | 20 |
1029 | I caught this one with a dream catcher. | 1.3299 | 0.04305 | 197 | 146 | 37 | 14 |
1030 | But it never did solve my impotence. | 1.3299 | 0.04120 | 197 | 143 | 43 | 11 |
1031 | My granddaughter keyed my Mercedes. | 1.3299 | 0.04596 | 197 | 151 | 27 | 19 |
1032 | Every so often, this one makes me feel a little guilty. | 1.3299 | 0.04244 | 197 | 145 | 39 | 13 |
1033 | Bittersweet...my granddaughter has stopped speaking to me. | 1.3299 | 0.04423 | 197 | 148 | 33 | 16 |
1034 | She gave me one wish so I asked for her head. | 1.3299 | 0.03898 | 194 | 137 | 50 | 7 |
1035 | I bagged the middle one after dropping some acid. | 1.3299 | 0.04227 | 194 | 142 | 40 | 12 |
1036 | Wow. When you said you bagged a unicorn I just assumed it meant a new account. | 1.3284 | 0.04140 | 204 | 150 | 41 | 13 |
1037 | Thank god for deregulation! | 1.3284 | 0.04357 | 201 | 151 | 34 | 16 |
1038 | Getting that one was a fantasy come true. | 1.3284 | 0.04123 | 201 | 147 | 42 | 12 |
1039 | There's an interesting story behind that one. Once upon a time.... | 1.3284 | 0.04183 | 201 | 148 | 40 | 13 |
1040 | And this one here is why my grandkids hate me. | 1.3283 | 0.04346 | 198 | 148 | 35 | 15 |
1041 | Yup, I guess I over-reacted when they said I was too old to ride the carousel. | 1.3283 | 0.04462 | 198 | 150 | 31 | 17 |
1042 | You'll never believe this: I woke up with that in my bed a few weeks ago. | 1.3283 | 0.04346 | 198 | 148 | 35 | 15 |
1043 | It was just after that I got my A rating from the NRA | 1.3283 | 0.04286 | 198 | 147 | 37 | 14 |
1044 | In my defense, she was wearing a hoodie at the time. | 1.3282 | 0.04208 | 195 | 143 | 40 | 12 |
1045 | No one was more surprised than me, I didn't think fantasy was my genre. | 1.3282 | 0.04015 | 195 | 140 | 46 | 9 |
1046 | That's nothing. You should see my Loch Ness trophy. | 1.3282 | 0.04208 | 195 | 143 | 40 | 12 |
1047 | That's a trophy from my one and only LSD hunting trip. | 1.3282 | 0.04208 | 195 | 143 | 40 | 12 |
1048 | My granddaughters haven't spoken to me since. | 1.3282 | 0.04332 | 195 | 145 | 36 | 14 |
1049 | Tastes like chicken. | 1.3282 | 0.04511 | 195 | 148 | 30 | 17 |
1050 | Next fall I thought I'd change my game, and go sport fishing on Loch Ness. | 1.3267 | 0.04224 | 202 | 150 | 38 | 14 |
1051 | When I heard here was only one left I knew I had to have it | 1.3266 | 0.04443 | 199 | 151 | 31 | 17 |
1052 | My daughter never forgave me. | 1.3265 | 0.04190 | 196 | 144 | 40 | 12 |
1053 | It wasn't on the endangered list at the time. | 1.3264 | 0.04105 | 193 | 140 | 43 | 10 |
1054 | It was a Mid Summer Night Dream....... | 1.3264 | 0.04297 | 193 | 143 | 37 | 13 |
1055 | From what I have heard the white ones are quite rare. | 1.3264 | 0.04482 | 193 | 146 | 31 | 16 |
1056 | But at heart, I'm really a unicorn conservationist. | 1.3264 | 0.04297 | 193 | 143 | 37 | 13 |
1057 | Well, I realized no one would believe me ever again. | 1.3264 | 0.04105 | 193 | 140 | 43 | 10 |
1058 | Spotted this one running in circles on a playground in Jersey. | 1.3264 | 0.04482 | 193 | 146 | 31 | 16 |
1059 | It WAS magical. Until she started debating my Second Amendment rights. | 1.3264 | 0.04360 | 193 | 144 | 35 | 14 |
1060 | A toast, gentlemen, to a taxidermist with imagination! | 1.3264 | 0.04234 | 193 | 142 | 39 | 12 |
1061 | It's about as real as the democratic processes. | 1.3264 | 0.04421 | 193 | 145 | 33 | 15 |
1062 | It wasn't easy; I had to track him to the end of the rainbow. | 1.3264 | 0.04038 | 193 | 139 | 45 | 9 |
1063 | It’s a result of one of my first ‘trips’ in the late sixties | 1.3264 | 0.04038 | 193 | 139 | 45 | 9 |
1064 | 3-D printer, a drill bit, and shoe polish. | 1.3264 | 0.04659 | 193 | 149 | 25 | 19 |
1065 | I checked - they're not on the endangered list. | 1.3264 | 0.04038 | 193 | 139 | 45 | 9 |
1066 | My daughter cried for days, but it really does tie the room together. | 1.3264 | 0.04360 | 193 | 144 | 35 | 14 |
1067 | My daughter bagged that one. | 1.3264 | 0.04234 | 193 | 142 | 39 | 12 |
1068 | Comes in handy for ring toss. | 1.3264 | 0.04297 | 193 | 143 | 37 | 13 |
1069 | I had to use pink marshmallow bullets. | 1.3264 | 0.04421 | 193 | 145 | 33 | 15 |
1070 | 1998. Family trip to Candyland. My daughter still won't talk to me. | 1.3264 | 0.04360 | 193 | 144 | 35 | 14 |
1071 | Yes, I am estranged from my daughter. | 1.3264 | 0.04234 | 193 | 142 | 39 | 12 |
1072 | I normally use a rifle but this one I charmed to death. | 1.3264 | 0.04482 | 193 | 146 | 31 | 16 |
1073 | Oh, Dick Cheney got that one. | 1.3264 | 0.04421 | 193 | 145 | 33 | 15 |
1074 | That one charged my daughter on a merry-go-round. | 1.3264 | 0.04360 | 193 | 144 | 35 | 14 |
1075 | My granddaughter hates me. | 1.3264 | 0.04038 | 193 | 139 | 45 | 9 |
1076 | Once I crossed the rainbow bridge and found his candy poop trail I knew it was just a matter of time. | 1.3264 | 0.04360 | 193 | 144 | 35 | 14 |
1077 | I knew, if I waited, it would come around again. | 1.3264 | 0.04297 | 193 | 143 | 37 | 13 |
1078 | I got that one by following a trail of rainbow glitter. | 1.3264 | 0.04170 | 193 | 141 | 41 | 11 |
1079 | Shot 'er next to Bubble Gum River with a sawed-off candy cane. | 1.3264 | 0.04421 | 193 | 145 | 33 | 15 |
1080 | Bagged him in the Haight in '68. | 1.3264 | 0.04234 | 193 | 142 | 39 | 12 |
1081 | I just followed the rainbow poop. | 1.3264 | 0.04297 | 193 | 143 | 37 | 13 |
1082 | And this majestic specimen got me banned for life from the Pier 62 Carousel. | 1.3263 | 0.04344 | 190 | 141 | 36 | 13 |
1083 | That one's an accident. I was aiming for Bigfoot. | 1.3262 | 0.04457 | 187 | 140 | 33 | 14 |
1084 | I see you're now hunting in theme parks. | 1.3247 | 0.04216 | 194 | 143 | 39 | 12 |
1085 | It was the last of its kind, but fortunately for rich guys like me, Donald Trump removed it from the endangered species list. | 1.3247 | 0.04152 | 194 | 142 | 41 | 11 |
1086 | Magnificent shot, museum quality mounting but maybe we should rejoin the ladies? I believe they have stopped screaming now. | 1.3247 | 0.04462 | 194 | 147 | 31 | 16 |
1087 | They said it was non-existent. Turned out it was just the last of an entire species. So, who looks stupid now? | 1.3247 | 0.04216 | 194 | 143 | 39 | 12 |
1088 | And they said it could only be caught by a virgin. | 1.3247 | 0.04402 | 194 | 146 | 33 | 15 |
1089 | I bagged him on a Coney Island acid trip back in the 60's. | 1.3247 | 0.03954 | 194 | 139 | 47 | 8 |
1090 | We had to take this one to the taxidermyth | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1091 | My granddaughter won't talk to me now. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1092 | Yup, bagged that one in Narnia. Guess you could call it my little pony. | 1.3246 | 0.04512 | 191 | 145 | 30 | 16 |
1093 | Yeah, it's a pretty good trophy, but it cost me the one that said "World's Best Grandpa." | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1094 | Another example of Fake News. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1095 | I never believed in them until I killed one. | 1.3246 | 0.04512 | 191 | 145 | 30 | 16 |
1096 | This one here I got during a mushroom binge at Woodstock. | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1097 | And this trophy was taken down at my granddaughter’s birthday party. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1098 | Dave's fake game trophies always create an awkward atmosphere. Wait till you see the elephant in the other room | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1099 | That one took first place in my fantasy hunting league. | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1100 | Don’t worry, no one knows it exists, so it’s not considered endangered. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1101 | The Yeti is in the next room. | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1102 | And wouldn't you know, it was the last one. | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1103 | My daughter’s first kill when she was 12. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1104 | Endangered? No, it's only imaginary. | 1.3246 | 0.03993 | 191 | 137 | 46 | 8 |
1105 | Unfortunately, the sparkles vanished after I shot it. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1106 | That was a hell of an acid trip, boys. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1107 | I figured I’d kill my daughter’s dreams early on. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1108 | Interesting story, I got him with my unicycle. | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1109 | That was a gift from Scott Pruitt. | 1.3246 | 0.04512 | 191 | 145 | 30 | 16 |
1110 | A myth? Well, they are now. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1111 | Seen one, seen ‘em all. | 1.3246 | 0.04195 | 191 | 140 | 40 | 11 |
1112 | The good news is that they're not endangered anymore. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1113 | No, I have no family. Why do you ask? | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1114 | It tastes just like Griffin. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1115 | I've never made my dentist so jealous. | 1.3246 | 0.04573 | 191 | 146 | 28 | 17 |
1116 | Thank God Trump lifted the ban on Unicorn Trophies. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1117 | During my drug dependent phase, the unicorn was my emotional support animal. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1118 | My theory is that they were hunted to extinction -- but it's only a theory. | 1.3246 | 0.04062 | 191 | 138 | 44 | 9 |
1119 | You should have seen the Pegasus that got away. | 1.3246 | 0.04195 | 191 | 140 | 40 | 11 |
1120 | The carousel owner was not happy. | 1.3246 | 0.04195 | 191 | 140 | 40 | 11 |
1121 | Only ever saw the one. | 1.3246 | 0.04388 | 191 | 143 | 34 | 14 |
1122 | And you’re drinking her tears right now. | 1.3246 | 0.04512 | 191 | 145 | 30 | 16 |
1123 | I call it, 'Death of Imagination' | 1.3246 | 0.04512 | 191 | 145 | 30 | 16 |
1124 | I acquired him from a fake hunting expedition website : don/eric.gov through my lawyer Michael. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1125 | And this is the reason Susan lives with her Mom now. | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1126 | You just had to one-up my leprechaun. | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1127 | There's big game, then there's "Fabulous" game. | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1128 | Before you cook the meat, you have to carefully pick out the sparkles. | 1.3246 | 0.04573 | 191 | 146 | 28 | 17 |
1129 | It wasn't easy. I had to beat out Donald Jr. to get it! | 1.3246 | 0.04450 | 191 | 144 | 32 | 15 |
1130 | Thank God you replaced that spotted owl you had here, the environmentalists were freaking out!! | 1.3246 | 0.04325 | 191 | 142 | 36 | 13 |
1131 | Yeah - but Disneyland banned me for life. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1132 | It came to me in a dream. So, I shot it. | 1.3246 | 0.04573 | 191 | 146 | 28 | 17 |
1133 | My grandchildren havn't spoken to me since. | 1.3246 | 0.04062 | 191 | 138 | 44 | 9 |
1134 | It doesn't fool anyone. I taped a carrot to a horse's head. | 1.3246 | 0.04261 | 191 | 141 | 38 | 12 |
1135 | I didn't expect to find him in my wildest dreams | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1136 | Its meat tastes like chicken, with a hint of pink gumdrop. | 1.3246 | 0.04129 | 191 | 139 | 42 | 10 |
1137 | We know what happened that day, don't we Princess? | 1.3246 | 0.04195 | 191 | 140 | 40 | 11 |
1138 | ... and next year it's open season on honest politicians. | 1.3246 | 0.04573 | 191 | 146 | 28 | 17 |
1139 | I got him just before he jumped over the rainbow. | 1.3245 | 0.04104 | 188 | 136 | 43 | 9 |
1140 | You think these are rare? Try getting a hunting license for a leprechaun. | 1.3231 | 0.04382 | 195 | 147 | 33 | 15 |
1141 | The kids have never forgiven me. | 1.3229 | 0.04111 | 192 | 140 | 42 | 10 |
1142 | Well. I guess they WERE real. | 1.3229 | 0.04177 | 192 | 141 | 40 | 11 |
1143 | The hard part was finding a virgin who didn't care about the Endangered Species Act | 1.3229 | 0.04242 | 192 | 142 | 38 | 12 |
1144 | Fox and Friends reported that these babies are everywhere these days. | 1.3229 | 0.04430 | 192 | 145 | 32 | 15 |
1145 | That's from Eric Trump's 'Goodbye to Innocence' safari. | 1.3229 | 0.04305 | 192 | 143 | 36 | 13 |
1146 | And I bagged that one at my five-year-old's Princess Party. | 1.3228 | 0.04352 | 189 | 141 | 35 | 13 |
1147 | The taxidermist couldn't believe it, either. | 1.3228 | 0.04221 | 189 | 139 | 39 | 11 |
1148 | Crossbows beat rainbows every time. | 1.3228 | 0.04086 | 189 | 137 | 43 | 9 |
1149 | My new taxidermist is a wizard | 1.3228 | 0.04725 | 189 | 147 | 23 | 19 |
1150 | And they said you shouldn't mix hunting and LSD. | 1.3228 | 0.04154 | 189 | 138 | 41 | 10 |
1151 | This one had me going around in circles before I could bring her down. | 1.3228 | 0.04221 | 189 | 139 | 39 | 11 |
1152 | Yes, I'm afraid this is all that's left from my first IPO. | 1.3228 | 0.04016 | 189 | 136 | 45 | 8 |
1153 | That clock is a minute fast. | 1.3228 | 0.04352 | 189 | 141 | 35 | 13 |
1154 | Fairy tales do come true. | 1.3228 | 0.04352 | 189 | 141 | 35 | 13 |
1155 | Up to her last moment, she almost had me convinced she didn't exist. | 1.3228 | 0.04016 | 189 | 136 | 45 | 8 |
1156 | Looks great now but the damn glitter made a helluva mess of the truck | 1.3228 | 0.04154 | 189 | 138 | 41 | 10 |
1157 | Unfortunately, the virgin got away. | 1.3228 | 0.03873 | 189 | 134 | 49 | 6 |
1158 | I actually found this at Goodwill. | 1.3228 | 0.04665 | 189 | 146 | 25 | 18 |
1159 | I let her give me one last wild ride, and then...they shut down the carousel. | 1.3228 | 0.04221 | 189 | 139 | 39 | 11 |
1160 | I don't know, guys. I'm starting to think I'm gay. | 1.3228 | 0.04542 | 189 | 144 | 29 | 16 |
1161 | Actually, I was aiming for the centaur next to him. | 1.3228 | 0.04154 | 189 | 138 | 41 | 10 |
1162 | Bagged this one on a Safairy. | 1.3228 | 0.04417 | 189 | 142 | 33 | 14 |
1163 | They should really take our guns away. | 1.3228 | 0.04604 | 189 | 145 | 27 | 17 |
1164 | It's rather enchanting, isn't it? | 1.3224 | 0.04383 | 183 | 136 | 35 | 12 |
1165 | Keeps the grandkids outta here. Bambi’s mounted in the billiard room. | 1.3212 | 0.04410 | 193 | 146 | 32 | 15 |
1166 | I bagged the first one in Zambia, the second in Fantasyland and the last at the Borden Dairy. | 1.3211 | 0.04333 | 190 | 142 | 35 | 13 |
1167 | We had to use the world's last virgin princess as bait... finding her was more difficult. | 1.3211 | 0.04202 | 190 | 140 | 39 | 11 |
1168 | By the time I had it stuffed and mounted, my daughter had moved on to regular horses. | 1.3211 | 0.03556 | 190 | 131 | 57 | 2 |
1169 | Some say unicorn, I say fashionable elk | 1.3209 | 0.04381 | 187 | 140 | 34 | 13 |
1170 | Oh, it's just a horse. I was running behind it with a javelin and it stopped short. | 1.3209 | 0.04697 | 187 | 145 | 24 | 18 |
1171 | I bagged that one when I was just five, on safari at Coney Island. | 1.3209 | 0.04381 | 187 | 140 | 34 | 13 |
1172 | It cost me five ride tickets but it was worth it. | 1.3209 | 0.04510 | 187 | 142 | 30 | 15 |
1173 | Well, Bob's always been a bit of a dream killer. | 1.3209 | 0.04510 | 187 | 142 | 30 | 15 |
1174 | ...and, I shot this one at a school play. | 1.3209 | 0.04510 | 187 | 142 | 30 | 15 |
1175 | Picked it up at a white elephant exchange. | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1176 | "Unfortunately, it was both the first and last of its kind. | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1177 | If we all think she's sexy it's not weird, right? | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1178 | Bet you can't tell which ones fake. | 1.3209 | 0.04381 | 187 | 140 | 34 | 13 |
1179 | Truth be told, I bagged that from a merry-go-round in Milwaukee. | 1.3209 | 0.04446 | 187 | 141 | 32 | 14 |
1180 | My daughter doesn't speak to me. | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1181 | It sure doesn’t help me get laid. | 1.3209 | 0.03967 | 187 | 134 | 46 | 7 |
1182 | I figured it was time for my daughter to grow up. | 1.3209 | 0.04110 | 187 | 136 | 42 | 9 |
1183 | I got that one at little Samantha's birthday party last year. | 1.3209 | 0.04697 | 187 | 145 | 24 | 18 |
1184 | I’m particularly proud of my marksmanship on this one what with the merry-go-round was spinning full speed. | 1.3209 | 0.04315 | 187 | 139 | 36 | 12 |
1185 | Here's where I get caught in a loop: if they don't exist, they can't be endangered. But if it's here, they have to exist. | 1.3209 | 0.04179 | 187 | 137 | 40 | 10 |
1186 | I bagged that one in Never Never land. | 1.3209 | 0.04573 | 187 | 143 | 28 | 16 |
1187 | I don't believe in leaving anything to the imagination. | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1188 | It was difficult, but 70 years of celibacy really paid off. | 1.3209 | 0.04315 | 187 | 139 | 36 | 12 |
1189 | And this is my fake gnus collection. | 1.3209 | 0.04573 | 187 | 143 | 28 | 16 |
1190 | And that is the elusive Equus monoclonius! I came across it chasing rainbows | 1.3209 | 0.04510 | 187 | 142 | 30 | 15 |
1191 | My wife wants it there for the feng shui. | 1.3209 | 0.04315 | 187 | 139 | 36 | 12 |
1192 | A stroke of luck, I got the last one. | 1.3209 | 0.04315 | 187 | 139 | 36 | 12 |
1193 | Of course, that was before Fish and Wildlife got a bug up their ass. | 1.3209 | 0.04446 | 187 | 141 | 32 | 14 |
1194 | He won the triple crown. Two races he won by a horn. | 1.3209 | 0.04110 | 187 | 136 | 42 | 9 |
1195 | So, I guess Brad's Disney safari was a success? | 1.3209 | 0.04247 | 187 | 138 | 38 | 11 |
1196 | I went to bed with Stormy Daniels and woke up with that beside me. | 1.3209 | 0.04510 | 187 | 142 | 30 | 15 |
1197 | GOT THAT ONE WITH TIMOTHY LEARY. | 1.3207 | 0.04153 | 184 | 134 | 41 | 9 |
1198 | Which one did we just eat? | 1.3207 | 0.04362 | 184 | 137 | 35 | 12 |
1199 | When she started snortin' sparkles, I knew then it was either her or me. | 1.3204 | 0.04549 | 181 | 137 | 30 | 14 |
1200 | Trump Jr. bagged this one to prove there are alternative facts. | 1.3204 | 0.04616 | 181 | 138 | 28 | 15 |
1201 | Apparently, Silicone Valley is full of them. | 1.3204 | 0.03815 | 181 | 127 | 50 | 4 |
1202 | It was a carousel in Tasmania. With, I have to say, a pretty grumpy operator. | 1.3196 | 0.04391 | 194 | 147 | 32 | 15 |
1203 | Yeah...that clock sure is beautiful. | 1.3191 | 0.04228 | 188 | 139 | 38 | 11 |
1204 | It was chaotic on the carousel but I managed to bag him with the first shot. | 1.3191 | 0.04361 | 188 | 141 | 34 | 13 |
1205 | Back then, of course, it wasn’t an endangered species | 1.3189 | 0.04134 | 185 | 135 | 41 | 9 |
1206 | If you think the head is unique you should have tasted the meat. | 1.3189 | 0.04541 | 185 | 141 | 29 | 15 |
1207 | I snagged this one on a psychedelic trip in 1964. | 1.3189 | 0.04409 | 185 | 139 | 33 | 13 |
1208 | Huh-only a 1pointer. | 1.3189 | 0.04476 | 185 | 140 | 31 | 14 |
1209 | Apparently she wasn’t as magical as everyone thought. | 1.3189 | 0.04476 | 185 | 140 | 31 | 14 |
1210 | Most unicorn hunts don’t end with a trophy. | 1.3189 | 0.04409 | 185 | 139 | 33 | 13 |
1211 | For me, this was a real fairy tale ending. | 1.3189 | 0.04541 | 185 | 141 | 29 | 15 |
1212 | I guess now they don't exist. | 1.3189 | 0.04605 | 185 | 142 | 27 | 16 |
1213 | That one is for shorting Toys R Us. | 1.3189 | 0.04274 | 185 | 137 | 37 | 11 |
1214 | I bagged that one on my last acid trip. | 1.3189 | 0.04541 | 185 | 141 | 29 | 15 |
1215 | Of course, I had to tell my kid it ran away. | 1.3189 | 0.04342 | 185 | 138 | 35 | 12 |
1216 | Almost makes up for the dragon that I missed on my last trip. | 1.3189 | 0.04205 | 185 | 136 | 39 | 10 |
1217 | My daughter now regrets taking me as her plus one to the enchanted forest. | 1.3189 | 0.04541 | 185 | 141 | 29 | 15 |
1218 | I'll tell you, bagging that baby was like something right out of a fantasy. | 1.3189 | 0.03603 | 185 | 128 | 55 | 2 |
1219 | I'm a strong believer in diversity and inclusion. | 1.3189 | 0.04409 | 185 | 139 | 33 | 13 |
1220 | You're right. A cursed existence IS a small price to pay for such symmetry. | 1.3189 | 0.04476 | 185 | 140 | 31 | 14 |
1221 | My taxidermist wouldn't stuff a narwhal so I kept the horn, shot a horse, and here we are. | 1.3189 | 0.04668 | 185 | 143 | 25 | 17 |
1222 | I told my granddaughter it was self-defense, but she still isn't speaking to me. | 1.3189 | 0.04476 | 185 | 140 | 31 | 14 |
1223 | He almost makes up for the mermaid that slipped the hook. | 1.3189 | 0.04274 | 185 | 137 | 37 | 11 |
1224 | I bagged that one at FAO Schwartz | 1.3189 | 0.04342 | 185 | 138 | 35 | 12 |
1225 | Fake. | 1.3189 | 0.04409 | 185 | 139 | 33 | 13 |
1226 | A guy in our hunting party wanted to sell the horn on the black market, but I’m too much of a conservationist for that. | 1.3189 | 0.04476 | 185 | 140 | 31 | 14 |
1227 | I bagged him on my last LSD trip. | 1.3189 | 0.04274 | 185 | 137 | 37 | 11 |
1228 | There it is. The last unicorn in Silicon Valley. | 1.3189 | 0.04409 | 185 | 139 | 33 | 13 |
1229 | I dropped her with a 32-guage moonbeam. | 1.3187 | 0.03955 | 182 | 130 | 46 | 6 |
1230 | The most satisfying moment was when it stopped sparkling. | 1.3184 | 0.04580 | 179 | 136 | 29 | 14 |
1231 | I don't understand why everyone is so upset, its not on the "Endangered Species" list. | 1.3179 | 0.04310 | 195 | 147 | 34 | 14 |
1232 | I had to throw the mermaid back in. | 1.3172 | 0.04389 | 186 | 140 | 33 | 13 |
1233 | Some enjoy the thrill of the hunt, but I prefer the fantasy of it. | 1.3172 | 0.04255 | 186 | 138 | 37 | 11 |
1234 | ...so even though the genie called me despicable, he said he'd still give me three wishes. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1235 | It was the last one. I had to have it. | 1.3169 | 0.04439 | 183 | 138 | 32 | 13 |
1236 | So hard these days to know what's real and what's not! | 1.3169 | 0.04231 | 183 | 135 | 38 | 10 |
1237 | She was much less elusive when the music stopped | 1.3169 | 0.04370 | 183 | 137 | 34 | 12 |
1238 | ... got that one on a bad acid trip in 1963. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1239 | Hired it for my daughter’s birthday party and couldn’t help myself. | 1.3169 | 0.04439 | 183 | 138 | 32 | 13 |
1240 | Bagged that one on safari with my fairy godfather. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1241 | And even better, I made unicorn jerky. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1242 | They don't exist ANYMORE | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1243 | Sure, the kids think they're cute, but you should see what they do to the azaleas. | 1.3169 | 0.04086 | 183 | 133 | 42 | 8 |
1244 | Since we have run out of endangered species, I have had to move in to mythical creatures. | 1.3169 | 0.04159 | 183 | 134 | 40 | 9 |
1245 | Harry brought this back from the summer term at Hogwarts. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1246 | Because I couldn’t have something more unique than me exist. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1247 | It’s just a plastic mold, but the grandkids think I’m a wizard now. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1248 | She really stood out from the herd. | 1.3169 | 0.04231 | 183 | 135 | 38 | 10 |
1249 | And, I bagged that one at FAO Schwarz | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1250 | No, I didn't shoot this one. It just turned up in my bed one morning after I refused to cast Johnny Fontaine in a fantasy epic. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1251 | ... and I bagged this little fella at my granddaughter's eleventh birthday party. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1252 | Once in a lifetime indeed. And my granddaughter hasn't spoken to me since. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1253 | When you're my age, the only sure shot is the carousel. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1254 | Mounting this one was relatively easy. The centaur is another story. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1255 | "Not surprisingly, the Trump administration lifted the ban on killing and importing unicorns". | 1.3169 | 0.04370 | 183 | 137 | 34 | 12 |
1256 | Pure luck...I was taking a hit-and-myth approach that day. | 1.3169 | 0.04506 | 183 | 139 | 30 | 14 |
1257 | My daughter likes unicorns so I thought she would love it - Surprisingly not. | 1.3169 | 0.04572 | 183 | 140 | 28 | 15 |
1258 | My wife made me take the centaur down. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1259 | A Narnian hunting license is pricey, but worth it. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1260 | That was a magical hunting trip. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1261 | Wayfair? | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1262 | My daughter still hasn't forgiven me. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1263 | He was just sitting there making rainbows | 1.3169 | 0.04439 | 183 | 138 | 32 | 13 |
1264 | I take it down whenever my grand daughter comes to visit. | 1.3169 | 0.04159 | 183 | 134 | 40 | 9 |
1265 | I climbed down off of Sparkle Pony and there, at the end of the rainbow, stood this magnificent creature. So I shot it. | 1.3169 | 0.04701 | 183 | 142 | 24 | 17 |
1266 | On the outskirts of Universal. Looking for a mate, I guess. | 1.3169 | 0.04765 | 183 | 143 | 22 | 18 |
1267 | Who knew it was an endangered species? | 1.3169 | 0.04159 | 183 | 134 | 40 | 9 |
1268 | Last year's LSD trip. | 1.3169 | 0.04439 | 183 | 138 | 32 | 13 |
1269 | It wasn't listed as endangered, so... | 1.3169 | 0.04370 | 183 | 137 | 34 | 12 |
1270 | Of course it's a carousel animal, but the other two are authentic according to Amazon. | 1.3169 | 0.04301 | 183 | 136 | 36 | 11 |
1271 | After elephant tusks got the green light, I knew it was only a matter of time. | 1.3167 | 0.04420 | 180 | 135 | 33 | 12 |
1272 | Well of course it's extinct, now... | 1.3167 | 0.04420 | 180 | 135 | 33 | 12 |
1273 | Serengeti,hell no I bagged him off the carousel at santa cruz boardwalk ! | 1.3167 | 0.04420 | 180 | 135 | 33 | 12 |
1274 | Open season at the carousel. | 1.3167 | 0.04626 | 180 | 138 | 27 | 15 |
1275 | and I'm having Bigfoot stuffed for the den | 1.3167 | 0.04490 | 180 | 136 | 31 | 13 |
1276 | Either appeal to kids or the sport dies out in a generation. | 1.3167 | 0.04490 | 180 | 136 | 31 | 13 |
1277 | Yes, it had been a dream of mine since I killed my first Easter Bunny. | 1.3167 | 0.04558 | 180 | 137 | 29 | 14 |
1278 | It was a once-in-a-lifetime shot, so I took it. | 1.3167 | 0.04490 | 180 | 136 | 31 | 13 |
1279 | I bagged that one, on a Safairy. | 1.3167 | 0.04626 | 180 | 138 | 27 | 15 |
1280 | "Since I shot it, half my hair fell out, I lost my job, and my wife left me. And then the meat spoiled in the freezer. | 1.3167 | 0.04420 | 180 | 135 | 33 | 12 |
1281 | the tricky part was finding a taxidermist with experience... | 1.3167 | 0.04204 | 180 | 132 | 39 | 9 |
1282 | It was a difficult shot, but somehow I knew I wouldn't myth. | 1.3167 | 0.04693 | 180 | 139 | 25 | 16 |
1283 | My granddaughter has disowned me. | 1.3167 | 0.04490 | 180 | 136 | 31 | 13 |
1284 | “Yeah, the North Korea safari was nothing like I expected”. | 1.3167 | 0.04558 | 180 | 137 | 29 | 14 |
1285 | It turns out that myths are not endangered. | 1.3167 | 0.04420 | 180 | 135 | 33 | 12 |
1286 | You could say I’m a giant asshole. | 1.3167 | 0.04693 | 180 | 139 | 25 | 16 |
1287 | Rare?! Oh my yes, with curried new potatoes and spring greens! | 1.3152 | 0.04211 | 184 | 136 | 38 | 10 |
1288 | The one in the middle I shot while sleeping. | 1.3152 | 0.04281 | 184 | 137 | 36 | 11 |
1289 | No one feels the sadness of extinction like a hunter. | 1.3152 | 0.04485 | 184 | 140 | 30 | 14 |
1290 | Great Clock | 1.3152 | 0.04615 | 184 | 142 | 26 | 16 |
1291 | My little girl bagged that, of course | 1.3152 | 0.04485 | 184 | 140 | 30 | 14 |
1292 | Doesn't seem so magical now, does it? | 1.3152 | 0.04485 | 184 | 140 | 30 | 14 |
1293 | A portion of the fees I pay to hunt and kill these magnificent animals goes to toward preserving them for future generations to hunt and kill. | 1.3152 | 0.04418 | 184 | 139 | 32 | 13 |
1294 | Little Sally never hears about this, understood? | 1.3152 | 0.04140 | 184 | 135 | 40 | 9 |
1295 | They had to shut the carousel down for two days. | 1.3152 | 0.04068 | 184 | 134 | 42 | 8 |
1296 | I didn't shoot her, she just magically appeared there one day. | 1.3152 | 0.04418 | 184 | 139 | 32 | 13 |
1297 | I know what you're wondering. It tastes just like chicken. | 1.3152 | 0.04281 | 184 | 137 | 36 | 11 |
1298 | The next room has the fake gnus. | 1.3152 | 0.04281 | 184 | 137 | 36 | 11 |
1299 | This wall celebrates my disregard for things I don't believe in. | 1.3152 | 0.04615 | 184 | 142 | 26 | 16 |
1300 | It was magical. | 1.3152 | 0.04350 | 184 | 138 | 34 | 12 |
1301 | The mermaid trophy was scaring the children. | 1.3152 | 0.04211 | 184 | 136 | 38 | 10 |
1302 | Now that one really appeared out of nowhere. | 1.3152 | 0.04418 | 184 | 139 | 32 | 13 |
1303 | They taste a bit like chicken...with a splash of magical goodness... | 1.3149 | 0.03958 | 181 | 130 | 45 | 6 |
1304 | My granddaughter, bless her little pink heart, bagged it at morning recess. | 1.3149 | 0.04399 | 181 | 136 | 33 | 12 |
1305 | This one is a gift from the Trump brothers. | 1.3146 | 0.04590 | 178 | 136 | 28 | 14 |
1306 | Nailed this little Lady on a Merry Go Round | 1.3146 | 0.04305 | 178 | 132 | 36 | 10 |
1307 | That one cost me 10 years of therapy sessions for my daughter. | 1.3146 | 0.04590 | 178 | 136 | 28 | 14 |
1308 | What did he say was in this drink again? | 1.3146 | 0.04305 | 178 | 132 | 36 | 10 |
1309 | You'll never see another of these. It's from my hunt through the very last Toys R Us store. | 1.3146 | 0.04450 | 178 | 134 | 32 | 12 |
1310 | I guess at least one got on the ark after all. | 1.3146 | 0.04378 | 178 | 133 | 34 | 11 |
1311 | My 9 year-old granddaughter bagged the middle one. | 1.3143 | 0.04277 | 175 | 129 | 37 | 9 |
1312 | And that one is just a figment of my imagination. | 1.3133 | 0.04669 | 166 | 126 | 28 | 12 |
1313 | I bagged the one on the far left on safari in Kenya in 1987, the middle one was the 2:45pm Disneyland Main Street Parade in '91... | 1.3128 | 0.04568 | 179 | 137 | 28 | 14 |
1314 | So you had asked earlier about the glitter gun... | 1.3128 | 0.04135 | 179 | 131 | 40 | 8 |
1315 | I had to, or you wouldn't have believed me. | 1.3125 | 0.04623 | 176 | 135 | 27 | 14 |
1316 | I didn't want my dream to die slowly. So I shot it. | 1.3125 | 0.04480 | 176 | 133 | 31 | 12 |
1317 | "...and, I bagged this one, on the carousel, when I was 5". | 1.3125 | 0.04552 | 176 | 134 | 29 | 13 |
1318 | I almost mythed the one in the middle. | 1.3125 | 0.04552 | 176 | 134 | 29 | 13 |
1319 | Best merry-go-round ride ever! | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1320 | Tasted just like regular horse meat, though. | 1.3125 | 0.04332 | 176 | 131 | 35 | 10 |
1321 | Had to go round and round with that one. | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1322 | It’s actually a horse. I added the horn for the kids. | 1.3125 | 0.04623 | 176 | 135 | 27 | 14 |
1323 | .. of course we take it down when the grandkids visit. | 1.3125 | 0.04257 | 176 | 130 | 37 | 9 |
1324 | And I bagged this one during the revival of “Carousel.” | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1325 | No, it's fake... but I still get offers on it. | 1.3125 | 0.04101 | 176 | 128 | 41 | 7 |
1326 | I had to attend 158 birthday parties for five year olds before I finally bagged him. | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1327 | The leprechaun head was too small to mount. | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1328 | Suddenly, he emerged out of nowhere! | 1.3125 | 0.04257 | 176 | 130 | 37 | 9 |
1329 | My daughter was pretty upset... | 1.3125 | 0.04407 | 176 | 132 | 33 | 11 |
1330 | This was really a dream come true for me. | 1.3125 | 0.04552 | 176 | 134 | 29 | 13 |
1331 | And THIS is when being a 75 year-old virgin finally paid off! | 1.3125 | 0.04480 | 176 | 133 | 31 | 12 |
1332 | We have to remove it each time our granddaughter visits. | 1.3125 | 0.04332 | 176 | 131 | 35 | 10 |
1333 | I followed the scat into my granddaughter's bedroom. | 1.3125 | 0.04480 | 176 | 133 | 31 | 12 |
1334 | My most heroic achievement. I stole it from a carousel. | 1.3125 | 0.04480 | 176 | 133 | 31 | 12 |
1335 | I saw it and thought, "I'll be damned, that would really pull my living room together." Turns out I was right. | 1.3125 | 0.04180 | 176 | 129 | 39 | 8 |
1336 | That one ? Don Jr. sent me that when I told him his Dad would be indicted. | 1.3107 | 0.04669 | 177 | 137 | 25 | 15 |
1337 | To tell you the truth, it just jumped in front of me on the Turnpike before I could brake. | 1.3107 | 0.04082 | 177 | 129 | 41 | 7 |
1338 | Did I stop to think about it? Of course not, I might've missed the shot. | 1.3107 | 0.04236 | 177 | 131 | 37 | 9 |
1339 | I'm not sure I can stay for dinner. | 1.3107 | 0.04236 | 177 | 131 | 37 | 9 |
1340 | It was a magic bullet. | 1.3107 | 0.04458 | 177 | 134 | 31 | 12 |
1341 | So our lil' Suzie started therapy this week. | 1.3107 | 0.04312 | 177 | 132 | 35 | 10 |
1342 | It's unique and corny at the same time. | 1.3107 | 0.04082 | 177 | 129 | 41 | 7 |
1343 | Shooting it was easier than believing it into existence. | 1.3107 | 0.04458 | 177 | 134 | 31 | 12 |
1344 | It was a fantasy come true! | 1.3103 | 0.04206 | 174 | 128 | 38 | 8 |
1345 | Mother bagged it in the sixties, which were good to her. | 1.3103 | 0.04284 | 174 | 129 | 36 | 9 |
1346 | Yup, I bagged that one from a carousel in Binghamton, NY | 1.3103 | 0.04511 | 174 | 132 | 30 | 12 |
1347 | My little princess bagged this one. | 1.3103 | 0.04655 | 174 | 134 | 26 | 14 |
1348 | I bagged two of them on my Africa trip, and the other on my LSD trip. | 1.3103 | 0.04361 | 174 | 130 | 34 | 10 |
1349 | It was an easy shot. I had trapped it with some jelly beans. | 1.3103 | 0.04126 | 174 | 127 | 40 | 7 |
1350 | It's a mythical beast, of course. But then again, I've lived happily ever after. | 1.3103 | 0.04206 | 174 | 128 | 38 | 8 |
1351 | Well, it's not like it was covered by the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3103 | 0.04361 | 174 | 130 | 34 | 10 |
1352 | It's not endangered if it's not real | 1.3103 | 0.04361 | 174 | 130 | 34 | 10 |
1353 | Oh, I just went to the end of the rainbow. | 1.3103 | 0.04045 | 174 | 126 | 42 | 6 |
1354 | Turns out you just need a normal hunting license | 1.3103 | 0.04206 | 174 | 128 | 38 | 8 |
1355 | Bagged that one in San Francisco, Summer of Love. | 1.3103 | 0.04436 | 174 | 131 | 32 | 11 |
1356 | Give me a break. If I didn't do it, Voldemort would have. | 1.3103 | 0.04284 | 174 | 129 | 36 | 9 |
1357 | The challenge with this one was not hitting the kid who was riding it on the merry-go-round. | 1.3099 | 0.04171 | 171 | 125 | 39 | 7 |
1358 | Do I feel bad about it? Uh,yeah, sure. | 1.3099 | 0.04411 | 171 | 128 | 33 | 10 |
1359 | As real as our national integrity. | 1.3090 | 0.04507 | 178 | 136 | 29 | 13 |
1360 | Now THAT was a magical day! | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1361 | I shot a Leprechaun too but the taxidermist said he wouldn't stuff it. | 1.3081 | 0.04068 | 172 | 125 | 41 | 6 |
1362 | My granddaughter no longer speaks to me. | 1.3081 | 0.04616 | 172 | 132 | 27 | 13 |
1363 | Almost extinct was becoming too common, so I've moved on to imaginary. | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1364 | ...and I got that one with a 30-06 and some damn strong hallucinogens. | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1365 | She was so beautiful I didn't want to shoot at first, but I knew no one would believe me if I didn't. | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1366 | Little girl screaming on a crazed animal bucking up and down and running in circles. Lucky for her, I had my firearm. | 1.3081 | 0.04466 | 172 | 130 | 31 | 11 |
1367 | Research has shown extinction is the most reliable form of preservation. | 1.3081 | 0.04068 | 172 | 125 | 41 | 6 |
1368 | And I bagged that one in '68, Coney Island, Madame Zee's skeeball palace. | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1369 | They really do poop soft serve ice cream, but if you can't breed them at scale the economics just don't work. | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1370 | I was number one for eight weeks on the internet's most-hated list. | 1.3081 | 0.04466 | 172 | 130 | 31 | 11 |
1371 | Stuffing it was a nightmare - we coughed up glitter for a week! | 1.3081 | 0.04466 | 172 | 130 | 31 | 11 |
1372 | “Merry -Go -round owner musta had a fit ! | 1.3081 | 0.04689 | 172 | 133 | 25 | 14 |
1373 | My granddaughter bagged this one from the back of her little pony. | 1.3081 | 0.04689 | 172 | 133 | 25 | 14 |
1374 | Heather is 35 now and she still won't forgive me for that one. | 1.3081 | 0.04689 | 172 | 133 | 25 | 14 |
1375 | Long story short, both the lion and the witch made me sell the wardrobe. | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1376 | Up to the instant I pulled the trigger I didn't believe in them either. | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1377 | First I baited him with Skittles for that taste of the rainbow. | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1378 | I bagged this one at Burning Man. | 1.3072 | 0.04068 | 166 | 120 | 41 | 5 |
1379 | The tenderloin was magical. | 1.3072 | 0.04575 | 166 | 126 | 29 | 11 |
1380 | Bagged this baby during the second act of Carousel | 1.3068 | 0.04318 | 176 | 132 | 34 | 10 |
1381 | After Cecil the lion, us dentists have had to up the ante considerably. | 1.3068 | 0.04609 | 176 | 136 | 26 | 14 |
1382 | The centaur was too big for the wall. | 1.3064 | 0.04368 | 173 | 130 | 33 | 10 |
1383 | No, I was just kidding. I don't really see a unicorn. What did you say is in this drink? | 1.3064 | 0.04048 | 173 | 126 | 41 | 6 |
1384 | You'll have to go into the back room to see the rainbow. | 1.3064 | 0.04130 | 173 | 127 | 39 | 7 |
1385 | Yeh...I bagged that one in Narnia. | 1.3064 | 0.04368 | 173 | 130 | 33 | 10 |
1386 | I think it was the last one. | 1.3064 | 0.04665 | 173 | 134 | 25 | 14 |
1387 | Did I mention I have an estranged granddaughter? | 1.3064 | 0.04665 | 173 | 134 | 25 | 14 |
1388 | And this one was from my trip to Antiquity. | 1.3064 | 0.04444 | 173 | 131 | 31 | 11 |
1389 | It was a 'he,' actually. | 1.3064 | 0.04519 | 173 | 132 | 29 | 12 |
1390 | You guys wouldn't have believed a photo. | 1.3064 | 0.04130 | 173 | 127 | 39 | 7 |
1391 | Too bad they didn't make it on the ark. | 1.3059 | 0.04339 | 170 | 127 | 34 | 9 |
1392 | My taxidermist worked for Disney. | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1393 | Sure they’re rare, but the safari guy said this is the best way to support conservation. | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1394 | Oh yes, that was a magical trip... | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1395 | We had to wait for my daughter to leave home before we could put it up. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1396 | I didn’t realize that she was the last one. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1397 | All this talk about their being endangered is just a figment of someone's imagination. | 1.3059 | 0.04005 | 170 | 123 | 42 | 5 |
1398 | Ivanka went with Don Jr. and Eric on their last trip to Africa. | 1.3059 | 0.04649 | 170 | 131 | 26 | 13 |
1399 | the gazelle in Ethiopia-- the water buffalo I tracked and killed in Zambia--I shot the My Little Pony in my daughter's bedroom | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1400 | Well as this was the last one we can take it off the endangered species list. | 1.3059 | 0.04649 | 170 | 131 | 26 | 13 |
1401 | As he attempted to gore the leprechaun I took my shot. | 1.3059 | 0.04258 | 170 | 126 | 36 | 8 |
1402 | "Gentlemen, this is the horn section". | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1403 | It was open season at the amusement park. | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1404 | From a faraway land, Toys R Us. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1405 | Sure I'm proud, but my daughter no longer speaks to me. | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1406 | C'mon, how could I not? | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1407 | I had to drag home three from the Mar-a-Lago gift shop in order to get the IRS off my back. | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1408 | My daughter has never forgiven me. | 1.3059 | 0.04339 | 170 | 127 | 34 | 9 |
1409 | Don Jr. and Eric said if I wanted that senior position at EPA that bagging this guy was the way to get it. | 1.3059 | 0.04723 | 170 | 132 | 24 | 14 |
1410 | My daughter won't talk to me anymore, but it's worth it. | 1.3059 | 0.04796 | 170 | 133 | 22 | 15 |
1411 | LSD actually sharpens my hunting prowess. | 1.3059 | 0.04091 | 170 | 124 | 40 | 6 |
1412 | That one there wouldn't stop pooping rainbow sprinkles in my yard. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1413 | At least with the Trump presidency, they're off the endangered list. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1414 | Sure, that was the last one. But if I hadn't shot it, you never would have believed they existed. | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1415 | Susie bagged that one when she was six. | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1416 | It was either him or my cynicism. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1417 | Strangely enough, after all the years of looking I found it under by daughter's bed. | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1418 | I don't think you should have your granddaughter's birthday party over here this year. | 1.3059 | 0.04497 | 170 | 129 | 30 | 11 |
1419 | Then I had the Enchanted Forest leveled, so this really is one-of-a-kind. | 1.3059 | 0.04339 | 170 | 127 | 34 | 9 |
1420 | ..ah yes, that safari was truly magical. | 1.3059 | 0.04258 | 170 | 126 | 36 | 8 |
1421 | My daughter is gonna be so pissed. | 1.3059 | 0.04419 | 170 | 128 | 32 | 10 |
1422 | Near Three Mile Island, about 5 years after the meltdown. | 1.3059 | 0.04339 | 170 | 127 | 34 | 9 |
1423 | Merry-Go-Rounds are great places to practice. | 1.3059 | 0.04573 | 170 | 130 | 28 | 12 |
1424 | I wanted something to match the griffin rug. | 1.3059 | 0.04176 | 170 | 125 | 38 | 7 |
1425 | my daughter was upset at first, but then she went to college. | 1.3049 | 0.04357 | 164 | 122 | 34 | 8 |
1426 | The kids got tired of him. | 1.3046 | 0.04422 | 174 | 132 | 31 | 11 |
1427 | This one I shot out from under my granddaughter on the carousel. | 1.3046 | 0.04496 | 174 | 133 | 29 | 12 |
1428 | You can't even tell it's an ice cream cone. | 1.3041 | 0.04550 | 171 | 131 | 28 | 12 |
1429 | But I never saw a taxidermist WEEP like that. | 1.3041 | 0.04772 | 171 | 134 | 22 | 15 |
1430 | The damn thing keeps getting glitter all over the carpet. | 1.3041 | 0.04550 | 171 | 131 | 28 | 12 |
1431 | Don't tell the Trump boys I got it. | 1.3041 | 0.04843 | 171 | 135 | 20 | 16 |
1432 | I got that one from a carousel in Coney Island. | 1.3041 | 0.04237 | 171 | 127 | 36 | 8 |
1433 | I told my daughter it was important to thin the herd. | 1.3041 | 0.04317 | 171 | 128 | 34 | 9 |
1434 | Tastes like griffin. | 1.3041 | 0.04474 | 171 | 130 | 30 | 11 |
1435 | I know it's a mythical beast, but I was amused by its presumption. | 1.3041 | 0.04237 | 171 | 127 | 36 | 8 |
1436 | I promised my investors a unicorn, but they still weren't happy. | 1.3041 | 0.04237 | 171 | 127 | 36 | 8 |
1437 | It's like looking at a cartoon for a caption contest, scratching your head and wondering whether there is truly anything worth saying. | 1.3036 | 0.04606 | 168 | 129 | 27 | 12 |
1438 | Our LSD trip was successful | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1439 | I was lucky. The park service said the herd needed thinning. | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1440 | The other two claim she’s just a narwhal in drag. | 1.3036 | 0.04448 | 168 | 127 | 31 | 10 |
1441 | I wonder if whoever was in the butt of the costume made it out alive... | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1442 | My five year old grand-daughter bagged her with her pink 9 MM semi-automatic. | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1443 | I'll tell you the story, but you're not going to believe it. | 1.3036 | 0.04448 | 168 | 127 | 31 | 10 |
1444 | Between her and Bambi, I'm lucky to be alive. | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1445 | In the end it took about 450 mg of mescaline to hunt one of them down. | 1.3036 | 0.03938 | 168 | 121 | 43 | 4 |
1446 | Endangered? Not any more! | 1.3036 | 0.04606 | 168 | 129 | 27 | 12 |
1447 | Yes, Narnia; one of the last hunting trips they allowed. | 1.3036 | 0.04285 | 168 | 125 | 35 | 8 |
1448 | And in the kitchen, it farts rainbows | 1.3036 | 0.04832 | 168 | 132 | 21 | 15 |
1449 | And this one was in my last gay pride parade | 1.3036 | 0.04683 | 168 | 130 | 25 | 13 |
1450 | Whoever selects the finalists for the New Yorker caption contest has really bad taste. | 1.3036 | 0.04906 | 168 | 133 | 19 | 16 |
1451 | Most unusual...I came across a herd running in circles... with small children on their backs... | 1.3036 | 0.04448 | 168 | 127 | 31 | 10 |
1452 | This one was a gift from Dick Cheney. | 1.3036 | 0.04758 | 168 | 131 | 23 | 14 |
1453 | The eyelashes remind me of your mother. | 1.3036 | 0.04368 | 168 | 126 | 33 | 9 |
1454 | Who invited the black guy? | 1.3036 | 0.04832 | 168 | 132 | 21 | 15 |
1455 | They never let me back in that toy store. | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1456 | Lucky shot, really. I was aiming at an endangered snow leopard. | 1.3036 | 0.04606 | 168 | 129 | 27 | 12 |
1457 | My granddaughters hate me, but it was an amazing hunt. | 1.3036 | 0.04448 | 168 | 127 | 31 | 10 |
1458 | Coachella. | 1.3036 | 0.04683 | 168 | 130 | 25 | 13 |
1459 | And when the narwhale drove its horn through my horse’s head, I thought, wow, would that ever make a statement. | 1.3036 | 0.04528 | 168 | 128 | 29 | 11 |
1460 | Oh no, I didn't believe it either until I shot it. | 1.3030 | 0.04502 | 165 | 125 | 30 | 10 |
1461 | I'll let you in on a secret... the eyelashes are fake. | 1.3030 | 0.04819 | 165 | 129 | 22 | 14 |
1462 | Picked her up at a tag sale in Narnia. | 1.3030 | 0.04419 | 165 | 124 | 32 | 9 |
1463 | Colored hearts and a beautiful rainbow filled the sky just before he shot it. | 1.3030 | 0.04161 | 165 | 121 | 38 | 6 |
1464 | Now you understand why I think climate change is a hoax | 1.3030 | 0.04663 | 165 | 127 | 26 | 12 |
1465 | I thought he was simply glad to see me. | 1.3030 | 0.04583 | 165 | 126 | 28 | 11 |
1466 | Yeah,bagging that one was unreal. | 1.3030 | 0.04663 | 165 | 127 | 26 | 12 |
1467 | We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold... | 1.3030 | 0.04583 | 165 | 126 | 28 | 11 |
1468 | Is my drink too strong, or is that a unicorn on your wall? | 1.3030 | 0.04419 | 165 | 124 | 32 | 9 |
1469 | And me. I’m the damn fool that shot him. | 1.3030 | 0.04663 | 165 | 127 | 26 | 12 |
1470 | That's the last one I ever shot. | 1.3030 | 0.04502 | 165 | 125 | 30 | 10 |
1471 | I guess Noah let him on at the last moment. | 1.3030 | 0.04335 | 165 | 123 | 34 | 8 |
1472 | I waited until I had my three wishes. | 1.3030 | 0.04502 | 165 | 125 | 30 | 10 |
1473 | It's been forty years, and we're still vacuuming up the glitter. | 1.3030 | 0.04419 | 165 | 124 | 32 | 9 |
1474 | Is that clock running fast? | 1.3030 | 0.04663 | 165 | 127 | 26 | 12 |
1475 | And THIS is why we should abolish the 2nd Amendment! | 1.3030 | 0.04419 | 165 | 124 | 32 | 9 |
1476 | I bagged the Unicorn on an LSD trip. | 1.3030 | 0.04583 | 165 | 126 | 28 | 11 |
1477 | ...and this one was gifted to me by Eric and Donald Trump Jr. | 1.3030 | 0.04502 | 165 | 125 | 30 | 10 |
1478 | Good start..but we are still missing the pig with wings | 1.3030 | 0.04419 | 165 | 124 | 32 | 9 |
1479 | This is from that weekend in the fantasy camp. | 1.3030 | 0.04663 | 165 | 127 | 26 | 12 |
1480 | And I landed this fine specimen at my niece's birthday party in Scarsdale. | 1.3030 | 0.04742 | 165 | 128 | 24 | 13 |
1481 | Sure, there were some nasty tweets and my daughter isn’t speaking to me, but the RNC is begging me to return their calls. | 1.3030 | 0.04583 | 165 | 126 | 28 | 11 |
1482 | I bagged that one in Haight-Ashbury in the sixties. | 1.3018 | 0.04426 | 169 | 128 | 31 | 10 |
1483 | Our interior designer doesn’t exist either. | 1.3018 | 0.04582 | 169 | 130 | 27 | 12 |
1484 | And people thought they were extinct. | 1.3018 | 0.04180 | 169 | 125 | 37 | 7 |
1485 | She has her mother's horn | 1.3018 | 0.04180 | 169 | 125 | 37 | 7 |
1486 | Got that with my My Little Pony Bolt-Action Remington. | 1.3013 | 0.04848 | 156 | 121 | 23 | 12 |
1487 | I shot it in my sleep. | 1.3012 | 0.04794 | 166 | 130 | 22 | 14 |
1488 | Yup. That was the last one. | 1.3012 | 0.03959 | 166 | 120 | 42 | 4 |
1489 | My daughter isn't too happy, but it really brings the room together. | 1.3012 | 0.04479 | 166 | 126 | 30 | 10 |
1490 | Don Jr. bagged this one. | 1.3012 | 0.04869 | 166 | 131 | 20 | 15 |
1491 | Yeah, my daughter still hasn’t forgiven me for that one. | 1.3012 | 0.04313 | 166 | 124 | 34 | 8 |
1492 | I call her 'My Little Phony'. | 1.3012 | 0.04227 | 166 | 123 | 36 | 7 |
1493 | And that one I bagged in Silicon Valley | 1.3012 | 0.04794 | 166 | 130 | 22 | 14 |
1494 | I sent the rest to the glitter glue factory. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1495 | I followed the rainbow scat just as you instructed. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1496 | I bagged it, but it turned out my daughter meant a live one. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1497 | Tracked it all the way to the end of the rainbow. | 1.3006 | 0.04276 | 163 | 121 | 35 | 7 |
1498 | That's a myth... It wasn't the last one. | 1.3006 | 0.04186 | 163 | 120 | 37 | 6 |
1499 | I bagged it on a Disney safari. | 1.3006 | 0.04616 | 163 | 125 | 27 | 11 |
1500 | took her down right over the rainbow | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1501 | Just lucky to get it before they went extinct. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1502 | The hard part was finding the rainbow-colored camouflage outfit. | 1.3006 | 0.04777 | 163 | 127 | 23 | 13 |
1503 | To be fair, it wasn't on any endangered list. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1504 | Yeah, I know they are supposed to be symbols of purity. Garbage. Before I bagged this last known unicorn, he cursed like a sailor and tried to stab me in the groin. | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1505 | I hear they're magically delicious. | 1.3006 | 0.04856 | 163 | 128 | 21 | 14 |
1506 | It took $20,000,000 of gene editing, but it was worth every penny. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1507 | You should’ve seen the look on my daughters face. | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1508 | The one on the left isn't real. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1509 | I picked up that one on the My Little Pony safari adventure. | 1.3006 | 0.04616 | 163 | 125 | 27 | 11 |
1510 | Bagged that one on safari in Camelot. | 1.3006 | 0.04095 | 163 | 119 | 39 | 5 |
1511 | I was a little skeptical about the “magical safari” but let me tell you, money well spent. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1512 | Keeps the grandkids in line, that’s for sure. | 1.3006 | 0.04276 | 163 | 121 | 35 | 7 |
1513 | ...really it's about conservation. | 1.3006 | 0.04856 | 163 | 128 | 21 | 14 |
1514 | Climate change has unexpected consequences. | 1.3006 | 0.04186 | 163 | 120 | 37 | 6 |
1515 | Bagging that trophy. was a fantasy come true. | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1516 | And that's when he said I could make any wish I wanted. | 1.3006 | 0.04616 | 163 | 125 | 27 | 11 |
1517 | You can’t see her if you don’t use your imagination. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1518 | Unfortunately, that may be the last time I take my daughter big game hunting. | 1.3006 | 0.04276 | 163 | 121 | 35 | 7 |
1519 | Since my home address and photo are all over social media - I am the real victim here | 1.3006 | 0.04616 | 163 | 125 | 27 | 11 |
1520 | I'd had a few drinks at the time and just thought I was seeing things. | 1.3006 | 0.04186 | 163 | 120 | 37 | 6 |
1521 | All three of my marriages were trophy wives but she was a dream come true. | 1.3006 | 0.04856 | 163 | 128 | 21 | 14 |
1522 | yup, straight to hell for me boys | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1523 | And you'll never see another one, either. | 1.3006 | 0.04186 | 163 | 120 | 37 | 6 |
1524 | We mostly use it for ring toss. | 1.3006 | 0.04276 | 163 | 121 | 35 | 7 |
1525 | Yeah...i thought it was just a party hat. | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1526 | The difficult part was finding a virgin for bait. | 1.3006 | 0.04698 | 163 | 126 | 25 | 12 |
1527 | Got lucky with this beauty, it was the last one left. | 1.3006 | 0.04449 | 163 | 123 | 31 | 9 |
1528 | That one’s from my first LSD trip. | 1.3006 | 0.04533 | 163 | 124 | 29 | 10 |
1529 | And that one I shot at my daughter's birthday party | 1.3006 | 0.04856 | 163 | 128 | 21 | 14 |
1530 | I was aiming for the loudmouth leprechaun riding it. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1531 | I have to replace the ice cream cone every once in a while, but my daughter hasn't noticed. | 1.3006 | 0.04363 | 163 | 122 | 33 | 8 |
1532 | Asked the agent for a unique safari package. Ten minutes later, I was being shoved into a wardrobe. | 1.3000 | 0.04416 | 160 | 120 | 32 | 8 |
1533 | What the hell, there was only one left anyway. | 1.2994 | 0.04692 | 167 | 130 | 24 | 13 |
1534 | My ten year old daughter bagged that one. | 1.2994 | 0.04536 | 167 | 128 | 28 | 11 |
1535 | In the end, I learned to believe in myself | 1.2994 | 0.04821 | 157 | 122 | 23 | 12 |
1536 | That one's from the White House safari. | 1.2988 | 0.04509 | 164 | 125 | 29 | 10 |
1537 | I nailed him eating a cupcake on a rainbow. | 1.2988 | 0.04907 | 164 | 130 | 19 | 15 |
1538 | Mine's bigger. | 1.2988 | 0.04426 | 164 | 124 | 31 | 9 |
1539 | People kept saying she was too young for an assault rifle, but I said no.... | 1.2988 | 0.04426 | 164 | 124 | 31 | 9 |
1540 | Yes, Jerry, I realize it is just a one point buck. | 1.2988 | 0.04340 | 164 | 123 | 33 | 8 |
1541 | Had to shoot her. No one would have believed I’d found her otherwise. | 1.2988 | 0.04509 | 164 | 125 | 29 | 10 |
1542 | So you have a 3D printer now? | 1.2988 | 0.04592 | 164 | 126 | 27 | 11 |
1543 | Yes, the eye lashes are false. | 1.2988 | 0.04752 | 164 | 128 | 23 | 13 |
1544 | There's the one that got away, and this is the one that doesn't exist | 1.2981 | 0.04392 | 161 | 121 | 32 | 8 |
1545 | I tracked the carousel herd for days, until I had a clear shot. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1546 | Do you believe me now? | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1547 | I spied him as he was taking a drink from the lemonade springs in the Big Rock Candy Mountains | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 120 | 34 | 7 |
1548 | When I was your age, hunting was interesting | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1549 | And this one is from a shoot in 'La La Land'. | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 120 | 34 | 7 |
1550 | White privilege. Isn't it beautiful? | 1.2981 | 0.04392 | 161 | 121 | 32 | 8 |
1551 | My guide on that safari was Ken Kesey. My life has never been the same. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1552 | It was a hunt, sponsored by The Cloisters. | 1.2981 | 0.04650 | 161 | 124 | 26 | 11 |
1553 | He came with his own hairbrush, but I've since lost it. | 1.2981 | 0.04732 | 161 | 125 | 24 | 12 |
1554 | And that was the day my daughter left me. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1555 | What a long, strange hunting trip that must have been. | 1.2981 | 0.04650 | 161 | 124 | 26 | 11 |
1556 | They exist; but it’s certainly a myth that they can only be captured by a virgin. | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1557 | Got this one on the Magical Mystery Tour. | 1.2981 | 0.04118 | 161 | 118 | 38 | 5 |
1558 | My granddaughter hasn't spoken to me in two years. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1559 | The Trump boys shot her, then left her for dead. | 1.2981 | 0.04814 | 161 | 126 | 22 | 13 |
1560 | Oh, that's my granddaughter's. She bagged it in the playground at P. S. 73 last summer. | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 120 | 34 | 7 |
1561 | His trophy wife did the decorating. | 1.2981 | 0.04732 | 161 | 125 | 24 | 12 |
1562 | Considering the glare of rainbow in my eyes and the rabid leprechaun biting my ankles, it was a helluva shot. | 1.2981 | 0.04392 | 161 | 121 | 32 | 8 |
1563 | Apparently they are pretty invasive in Narnia. | 1.2981 | 0.04650 | 161 | 124 | 26 | 11 |
1564 | No, Jim. It's not a real one. | 1.2981 | 0.04392 | 161 | 121 | 32 | 8 |
1565 | My taxidermist gave me an unbelievable discount. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1566 | At first I was ashamed. But then I thought, what the hell, I'll own up to it! | 1.2981 | 0.04732 | 161 | 125 | 24 | 12 |
1567 | Yeah, I know. I got the last one. | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 120 | 34 | 7 |
1568 | You bet it was tough. They’re almost never in season. | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 120 | 34 | 7 |
1569 | 'We're extremely fortunate today...being mythological she is only occasionally there." | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1570 | Trump Tower had a garage sale and, well, we couldn't not buy it, could we? | 1.2981 | 0.04650 | 161 | 124 | 26 | 11 |
1571 | Candyland will never be the same. | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1572 | My granddaughter has disowned me. | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1573 | I told my daughter, "There are consequences for not cleaning up your room." | 1.2981 | 0.04479 | 161 | 122 | 30 | 9 |
1574 | I tell you, the hunt was just magical. | 1.2981 | 0.04814 | 161 | 126 | 22 | 13 |
1575 | And that, gentlemen, was the last one on earth, so I sure as Hell didn't want to miss. | 1.2981 | 0.04732 | 161 | 125 | 24 | 12 |
1576 | Don't exist? Well, yes--now. | 1.2981 | 0.04565 | 161 | 123 | 28 | 10 |
1577 | Got the last Minotaur, too. Wanna' see? | 1.2970 | 0.04403 | 165 | 125 | 31 | 9 |
1578 | How can they want to take our guns? | 1.2970 | 0.04403 | 165 | 125 | 31 | 9 |
1579 | I bagged him up at the old Thurber place. | 1.2970 | 0.04567 | 165 | 127 | 27 | 11 |
1580 | It was a long, strange trip. | 1.2963 | 0.04280 | 162 | 121 | 34 | 7 |
1581 | It took years to find an actual virgin; after that, the rest was easy. | 1.2963 | 0.04541 | 162 | 124 | 28 | 10 |
1582 | On eBay | 1.2963 | 0.04189 | 162 | 120 | 36 | 6 |
1583 | Bagged that one on our trip to Disney in ‘92. | 1.2963 | 0.04624 | 162 | 125 | 26 | 11 |
1584 | I can’t believe she almost threw out your rainbow camouflage. | 1.2963 | 0.04456 | 162 | 123 | 30 | 9 |
1585 | It’s because I have a micropenis. | 1.2961 | 0.05013 | 152 | 120 | 19 | 13 |
1586 | Unfortunately my daughter thought I'd bring it home alive | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1587 | Yep, I crushed the dreams of 10 million little girls. Worth it, right? | 1.2956 | 0.04510 | 159 | 121 | 29 | 9 |
1588 | Yup, ... Don Jr. got this one—the last on Earth. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1589 | The Rainbow Blind was ingenious! | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1590 | I always knew there was something wrong with him. Who puts two candles on their mantelpiece? | 1.2956 | 0.04684 | 159 | 123 | 25 | 11 |
1591 | The tooth fairy shot it. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1592 | Actually, it tasted sorta like chicken. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1593 | Sad story, really. Three wild horses were swimming to a nearby island when an enormous narwhal attacked this poor fellow from behind. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1594 | I hear they taste like chicken. | 1.2956 | 0.04684 | 159 | 123 | 25 | 11 |
1595 | There I am at the bar when in walks a Kudu, a Unicorn and a Water Buffalo, it made me laugh so hard I had to kill them all. | 1.2956 | 0.04851 | 159 | 125 | 21 | 13 |
1596 | I can tell you one thing...you don't want to be running away from unicorn when it charges you. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1597 | I am so lucky that I got the last unicorn before they went extinct. | 1.2956 | 0.04851 | 159 | 125 | 21 | 13 |
1598 | Far be it from me to brag, but that was the last one. | 1.2956 | 0.04330 | 159 | 119 | 33 | 7 |
1599 | Apparently they're immortal, so the eyes do literally follow you around the room. | 1.2956 | 0.04768 | 159 | 124 | 23 | 12 |
1600 | If you like this, you'll love the family room. I've got some green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees. | 1.2956 | 0.04932 | 159 | 126 | 19 | 14 |
1601 | The hardest part was getting the permit. They make you pay with leprechaun gold. | 1.2956 | 0.04237 | 159 | 118 | 35 | 6 |
1602 | Karen made me get rid of all my rifles. So now I'm super into Etsy hunting. | 1.2956 | 0.04598 | 159 | 122 | 27 | 10 |
1603 | That one I bagged while hunting on acid. | 1.2956 | 0.04510 | 159 | 121 | 29 | 9 |
1604 | I asked her if she was game, and she said "yes," so I shot her. | 1.2956 | 0.04768 | 159 | 124 | 23 | 12 |
1605 | The tag suggest that they live in China. | 1.2956 | 0.04768 | 159 | 124 | 23 | 12 |
1606 | We had the devil of a time getting it past Hagrid. | 1.2956 | 0.04421 | 159 | 120 | 31 | 8 |
1607 | You like that - You should see the one Don Jr. and Eric got. | 1.2956 | 0.04768 | 159 | 124 | 23 | 12 |
1608 | It’s from my first IPO. | 1.2956 | 0.04684 | 159 | 123 | 25 | 11 |
1609 | It probably went extinct because it was less horny than the others. | 1.2949 | 0.04657 | 156 | 120 | 26 | 10 |
1610 | I bagged this one in a dumpster after 'Carousel' closed. | 1.2945 | 0.04168 | 163 | 121 | 36 | 6 |
1611 | Trump said it was okay. | 1.2941 | 0.04436 | 153 | 115 | 31 | 7 |
1612 | Do you think this strikes the right note of middle aged whimsy? | 1.2937 | 0.04397 | 160 | 121 | 31 | 8 |
1613 | It all started in the parking lot of the first ComiCon. | 1.2937 | 0.04397 | 160 | 121 | 31 | 8 |
1614 | A one-point buck…pathetic. | 1.2937 | 0.04658 | 160 | 124 | 25 | 11 |
1615 | Am I drunk? | 1.2937 | 0.04905 | 160 | 127 | 19 | 14 |
1616 | My daughter still isn't talking to me. | 1.2937 | 0.04486 | 160 | 122 | 29 | 9 |
1617 | I bagged this beauty while on a lovely LSD safari | 1.2937 | 0.04486 | 160 | 122 | 29 | 9 |
1618 | The Mrs. won't let me hang my leprechaun. | 1.2937 | 0.04573 | 160 | 123 | 27 | 10 |
1619 | My daughter's not happy about it. | 1.2937 | 0.04573 | 160 | 123 | 27 | 10 |
1620 | Actually, the hardest part of the hunt was getting all the glitter out of my truck afterward... | 1.2930 | 0.04451 | 157 | 119 | 30 | 8 |
1621 | I bagged this one in the Magic Kingdom. | 1.2930 | 0.04358 | 157 | 118 | 32 | 7 |
1622 | Yup, I killed the dream I dreamed. | 1.2930 | 0.04631 | 157 | 121 | 26 | 10 |
1623 | Nothing surprises me anymore. | 1.2930 | 0.04631 | 157 | 121 | 26 | 10 |
1624 | I was told they were extinct. That was obviously fake news. | 1.2930 | 0.04542 | 157 | 120 | 28 | 9 |
1625 | Yes, it IS unbelievable. | 1.2930 | 0.04804 | 157 | 123 | 22 | 12 |
1626 | Of course, me being a virgin gave me an advantage that not every fella has. | 1.2930 | 0.04888 | 157 | 124 | 20 | 13 |
1627 | Fools chase their dreams. I caught mine and shot it. | 1.2930 | 0.04718 | 157 | 122 | 24 | 11 |
1628 | Finding the virgin, of course, was the hard part. | 1.2930 | 0.04804 | 157 | 123 | 22 | 12 |
1629 | … and I traded the Trump boys two pandas for this beauty. | 1.2930 | 0.04804 | 157 | 123 | 22 | 12 |
1630 | This one has eluded Donald Jr. for quite some time. | 1.2930 | 0.04971 | 157 | 125 | 18 | 14 |
1631 | Yeah, last one. They went fast once Trump reversed Obama's ban on hunting them. | 1.2930 | 0.04718 | 157 | 122 | 24 | 11 |
1632 | Did I ever tell you about the tragic ending of my daughter's seven-year-old birthday party? | 1.2930 | 0.04542 | 157 | 120 | 28 | 9 |
1633 | There we were, face to face on the merry-go-round, when I slowly lifted the rifle... | 1.2930 | 0.04804 | 157 | 123 | 22 | 12 |
1634 | Simply amazing. I can't believe it's 1:45 in the morning already! | 1.2930 | 0.04542 | 157 | 120 | 28 | 9 |
1635 | 'It doesn't look real, does it?' | 1.2930 | 0.04631 | 157 | 121 | 26 | 10 |
1636 | I shot this one with a rainbow. | 1.2930 | 0.04718 | 157 | 122 | 24 | 11 |
1637 | They can't be endangered if no one believes they're real. | 1.2930 | 0.04358 | 157 | 118 | 32 | 7 |
1638 | The DNA resequencing and cloning cost a fortune, but I got to shoot her. | 1.2930 | 0.04718 | 157 | 122 | 24 | 11 |
1639 | Bagged the middle one on Coney Island last month | 1.2930 | 0.04264 | 157 | 117 | 34 | 6 |
1640 | Still beautiful, but the magic is gone. | 1.2930 | 0.04358 | 157 | 118 | 32 | 7 |
1641 | Why chase a fantasy when you can just hang it on your mantle? | 1.2930 | 0.04542 | 157 | 120 | 28 | 9 |
1642 | I still can't believe he never existed. | 1.2930 | 0.04631 | 157 | 121 | 26 | 10 |
1643 | Well, well...I guess unicorns really do...I mean did exist. | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1644 | ... and that was the last time I dropped acid on a hunting safari. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1645 | Gotta admit, boys, that nothing tops a hunting expedition to 'Narnia'. | 1.2922 | 0.04314 | 154 | 115 | 33 | 6 |
1646 | Some exotic place? Hell no. I bagged it at granddaughter's birthday party. | 1.2922 | 0.04955 | 154 | 122 | 19 | 13 |
1647 | I know I know. A one-point isn’t as impressive as a ten-point. | 1.2922 | 0.04411 | 154 | 116 | 31 | 7 |
1648 | I was out chasing rainbows when I came across this one... | 1.2922 | 0.04781 | 154 | 120 | 23 | 11 |
1649 | My first time carousel hunting and I bagged a unicorn. | 1.2922 | 0.04411 | 154 | 116 | 31 | 7 |
1650 | I bet there's a magical story behind that one. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1651 | It's the only one I've ever seen. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1652 | They taste like chicken. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1653 | I’d been chasing him for years, but always mythed. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1654 | I made an unbelievable shot. | 1.2922 | 0.04869 | 154 | 121 | 21 | 12 |
1655 | So if you don't eat red meat, you might try the orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, or violet. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1656 | And that one I bagged at Disneyworld. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1657 | Got that one on a magical mystery tour. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1658 | The clock? Mid-century. Our find at a garage sale. | 1.2922 | 0.04314 | 154 | 115 | 33 | 6 |
1659 | We camouflaged ourselves as gumdrops at the entrance of The Rainbow Bridge. | 1.2922 | 0.04314 | 154 | 115 | 33 | 6 |
1660 | They're supposed to have magical powers, but, you know, they look nice on a wall, too. | 1.2922 | 0.04869 | 154 | 121 | 21 | 12 |
1661 | We bagged that one on our safari to Narnia. | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1662 | Getting it out of Disney's Animal Kingdom was even more difficult... | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1663 | Which reminds me, Carl, you going to make it to the Trump rally next week? | 1.2922 | 0.05040 | 154 | 123 | 17 | 14 |
1664 | Don't you dare tell my granddaughter. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1665 | I have always been an advocate for diversity. | 1.2922 | 0.04214 | 154 | 114 | 35 | 5 |
1666 | Would you look at the rack on her! | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1667 | My kid told me that all I had to do was believe to see the unicorns. It worked! | 1.2922 | 0.04411 | 154 | 116 | 31 | 7 |
1668 | I found Walt Disney World a lot less forgiving than Africa | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1669 | He said, 'Don't dream it, do it.' So I did. | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1670 | We read that giving the kids a say in decorating might help them cope with the move. | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1671 | It was the Vice President who led the campaign to have it removed from the endangered species list. | 1.2922 | 0.04600 | 154 | 118 | 27 | 9 |
1672 | Luckily mythical creatures are not on the endangered species list. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1673 | It was not on the endangered species list. | 1.2922 | 0.04691 | 154 | 119 | 25 | 10 |
1674 | Fiction trumps reality. | 1.2922 | 0.04781 | 154 | 120 | 23 | 11 |
1675 | Got the permit thanks to Secretary of Interior Zinke and Trump Jr. | 1.2922 | 0.04506 | 154 | 117 | 29 | 8 |
1676 | I had green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees. Some rats and cats and elephants but as sure as you’re born, I just never had a unicorn. | 1.2922 | 0.04955 | 154 | 122 | 19 | 13 |
1677 | I always say: If you love something, shoot it, and mount it on your wall. | 1.2919 | 0.04462 | 161 | 123 | 29 | 9 |
1678 | Our club has always been in the forefront in promoting diversity. | 1.2919 | 0.04877 | 161 | 128 | 19 | 14 |
1679 | Bagged this one just outside Orlando at a place called "Universal" something-or-other. | 1.2914 | 0.04845 | 151 | 118 | 22 | 11 |
1680 | It was a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ situation, if ever there was one. | 1.2914 | 0.05024 | 151 | 120 | 18 | 13 |
1681 | They said it was a once in a lifetime shot. | 1.2914 | 0.04366 | 151 | 113 | 32 | 6 |
1682 | Don't worry. The feds only care about endangered species. Myths are exempt. | 1.2914 | 0.04264 | 151 | 112 | 34 | 5 |
1683 | I kind of regret shooting that one. Only has one horn. | 1.2911 | 0.04144 | 158 | 117 | 36 | 5 |
1684 | I vacillate between seeing disdain or insouciance in those eyes. | 1.2911 | 0.04517 | 158 | 121 | 28 | 9 |
1685 | I've wanted one ever since I was a little girl but it's not quite the same now. | 1.2911 | 0.04605 | 158 | 122 | 26 | 10 |
1686 | It's true some of my hunting stories are fairy tales. | 1.2911 | 0.04517 | 158 | 121 | 28 | 9 |
1687 | I got the head, but the horny horse's ass was purchased by a Russian collector for display at the White House. | 1.2911 | 0.04692 | 158 | 123 | 24 | 11 |
1688 | We needed to thin the herd. | 1.2903 | 0.04481 | 155 | 118 | 29 | 8 |
1689 | I have this silly little goal of shooting one of everything. | 1.2903 | 0.04290 | 155 | 116 | 33 | 6 |
1690 | Next to last. I'm not a monster. | 1.2903 | 0.04290 | 155 | 116 | 33 | 6 |
1691 | He tweeted this morning that he personally shot him | 1.2903 | 0.04753 | 155 | 121 | 23 | 11 |
1692 | Of course, that was before the Endangered Species Act. | 1.2903 | 0.04753 | 155 | 121 | 23 | 11 |
1693 | I bagged a leprechaun also but I thought it might be in bad taste. | 1.2903 | 0.04665 | 155 | 120 | 25 | 10 |
1694 | It's fake, but it keeps the grand kids out of my man cave. | 1.2903 | 0.04665 | 155 | 120 | 25 | 10 |
1695 | It was the only way I could prove it exists... or used to. | 1.2903 | 0.04481 | 155 | 118 | 29 | 8 |
1696 | My daughter isn’t speeking to me. | 1.2903 | 0.04665 | 155 | 120 | 25 | 10 |
1697 | I had to be pretty imaginative to bag him. | 1.2903 | 0.04753 | 155 | 121 | 23 | 11 |
1698 | I bagged those two and just outgrew the one in the middle. | 1.2903 | 0.04753 | 155 | 121 | 23 | 11 |
1699 | NOW there are no unicorns. | 1.2903 | 0.04290 | 155 | 116 | 33 | 6 |
1700 | It's a fake. | 1.2901 | 0.04607 | 162 | 126 | 25 | 11 |
1701 | Merry-go-round. Chainsaw. | 1.2895 | 0.04726 | 152 | 118 | 24 | 10 |
1702 | I hated to ruin such a magical moment. But then I said to myself, 'Stuff it!' | 1.2895 | 0.04995 | 152 | 121 | 18 | 13 |
1703 | Wow, Stuart! Is that clock real?! | 1.2895 | 0.04726 | 152 | 118 | 24 | 10 |
1704 | She was walking under a rainbow, through a cloud of fairy dust, and BAM I made the kill shot. | 1.2895 | 0.04817 | 152 | 119 | 22 | 11 |
1705 | Proud? Not really. I was actually after Bigfoot. | 1.2895 | 0.04441 | 152 | 115 | 30 | 7 |
1706 | The taxidermist said he'd never seen anything like it. | 1.2895 | 0.04342 | 152 | 114 | 32 | 6 |
1707 | I bagged that one with Leary in the '60s. | 1.2895 | 0.04633 | 152 | 117 | 26 | 9 |
1708 | I bagged this one off the Coney Island carousel | 1.2895 | 0.04441 | 152 | 115 | 30 | 7 |
1709 | I call it my Mythbuster trophy. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1710 | Your grandson's brownies are magical. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1711 | The hunt was legendary but obtaining the permit was a nightmare. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1712 | If we didn’t pay to hunt them, they probably wouldn’t even exist anymore. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1713 | I know that hunting endangered species is illegal, but there is no law protecting imaginary animals. | 1.2895 | 0.04633 | 152 | 117 | 26 | 9 |
1714 | The divorce is going fine. Thanks for asking. | 1.2895 | 0.04342 | 152 | 114 | 32 | 6 |
1715 | God bless Scott Pruitt and the easing of EPA regulations. | 1.2895 | 0.04907 | 152 | 120 | 20 | 12 |
1716 | Shot it with a rainbow | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1717 | And I bagged this one in Narnia! | 1.2895 | 0.04342 | 152 | 114 | 32 | 6 |
1718 | My daughter still hasn’t forgiven me for that one. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1719 | Huh. So after all these years standing here, staring into the upside down, we finally have proof it’s not a myth: they do allow black people in the club! | 1.2895 | 0.04817 | 152 | 119 | 22 | 11 |
1720 | After I shot that one, my granddaughter rammed my Cadillac with her tricycle. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1721 | You may be a wizard Harry, but you're also a bit of a git! | 1.2895 | 0.04817 | 152 | 119 | 22 | 11 |
1722 | How does having this make me feel? I dunno. I'm a sociopath. | 1.2895 | 0.04907 | 152 | 120 | 20 | 12 |
1723 | You should see his trophy wife. | 1.2895 | 0.04633 | 152 | 117 | 26 | 9 |
1724 | It's not real but people are really impressed by it. | 1.2895 | 0.04441 | 152 | 115 | 30 | 7 |
1725 | This goes great with the Care Bearskin rug. | 1.2895 | 0.04538 | 152 | 116 | 28 | 8 |
1726 | Now they're officially extinct. | 1.2895 | 0.04441 | 152 | 115 | 30 | 7 |
1727 | I thought my daughter would be thrilled, but, oddly, she was not. | 1.2895 | 0.04441 | 152 | 115 | 30 | 7 |
1728 | It was an adventure of mythical proportions. | 1.2895 | 0.04726 | 152 | 118 | 24 | 10 |
1729 | I got this one on my dream safari | 1.2895 | 0.04726 | 152 | 118 | 24 | 10 |
1730 | It was never on the Endangered Species List. I'm not a monster. | 1.2895 | 0.04907 | 152 | 120 | 20 | 12 |
1731 | I didn’t shoot the unicorn. He dropped dead when Trump was elected president. | 1.2895 | 0.04995 | 152 | 121 | 18 | 13 |
1732 | How will I ever confess to the grandkids that it's really white horse wearing a party hat ? | 1.2895 | 0.04633 | 152 | 117 | 26 | 9 |
1733 | And last, but not least.. | 1.2887 | 0.04643 | 142 | 108 | 27 | 7 |
1734 | I bagged this one during a snipe hunt | 1.2886 | 0.04596 | 149 | 114 | 27 | 8 |
1735 | Now this one I'm particularly proud of. I completely made it up. | 1.2885 | 0.04456 | 156 | 119 | 29 | 8 |
1736 | Yeah, that was a good trip...but I did feel kinda silly wearing glittery rainbow camouflage. | 1.2885 | 0.04727 | 156 | 122 | 23 | 11 |
1737 | I bagged it at the end of a rainbow after the damnedest gumdrop storm you ever saw. | 1.2885 | 0.04813 | 156 | 123 | 21 | 12 |
1738 | Technically not endangered. | 1.2877 | 0.03883 | 146 | 105 | 40 | 1 |
1739 | ...so it turns out they are actually really easy to sneak up on! | 1.2876 | 0.04512 | 153 | 117 | 28 | 8 |
1740 | Two days of negotiation at a merry-go-round consignment shop in New Jersey. | 1.2876 | 0.04512 | 153 | 117 | 28 | 8 |
1741 | We had a helluva time sawing the other horn off. | 1.2876 | 0.04416 | 153 | 116 | 30 | 7 |
1742 | The President shot the middle one on the Whitehouse lawns. | 1.2876 | 0.04606 | 153 | 118 | 26 | 9 |
1743 | This one is My Little Favorite. | 1.2876 | 0.04216 | 153 | 114 | 34 | 5 |
1744 | I was given this one after investing in Airbnb and Uber. | 1.2876 | 0.04416 | 153 | 116 | 30 | 7 |
1745 | Bagged this sucker with my glitter gun. | 1.2867 | 0.05024 | 143 | 113 | 19 | 11 |
1746 | The wife thought the wall needed a touch of the feminine. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1747 | They wouldn't let her put it in her dorm room. | 1.2867 | 0.04370 | 150 | 113 | 31 | 6 |
1748 | My next trophy is the tooth fairy. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1749 | You should've seen the looks on those second graders... | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1750 | Rainbow glitter everywhere. It does not come off. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1751 | Caption 1: "3D printing has done wonders for my trophy collection." Caption 2: "I said narwhal but I think my dealer heard Warhol." | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1752 | My granddaughter was really unhappy with this one. | 1.2867 | 0.05124 | 150 | 121 | 15 | 14 |
1753 | If you thought killing a lion in Africa was expensive... | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1754 | Never mind that; what did you do with the Princess? | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1755 | My son, the hunter, is gay | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1756 | Turns out it was just an ice cream cone. | 1.2867 | 0.04370 | 150 | 113 | 31 | 6 |
1757 | Amazing, yes, and what's really gratifying is, all the hunting fees I paid go to support unicorn conservation! | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1758 | There's no such thing as unicorns...now. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1759 | The thing is, he was aiming for the dragon. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1760 | Needless to say, my daughter’s birthday wasn’t the success I was expecting. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1761 | Boys, I appreciate the intention, but at my age, symbolism is no substitute for Viagra. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1762 | My son shot his horse and the horn was my idea. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1763 | I bagged that one at Palisades Amusement Park in '70. | 1.2867 | 0.04370 | 150 | 113 | 31 | 6 |
1764 | My expedition set out the day the Mythical Animals Act was repealed. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1765 | Haight-Ashbury, 1967. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1766 | That middle one was tough because the damned carousel kept spinning around and around. | 1.2867 | 0.04855 | 150 | 118 | 21 | 11 |
1767 | It was the last one and I just had to have it. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1768 | Before this, my daughters used to talk to me. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1769 | Unicorns aren’t real? Another example of a #fakenews story. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1770 | Kind of magical, don't you think? | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1771 | I just asked the taxidermist to add on the ice cream cone, and voíla... | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1772 | This baby and the stuffed Yeti in the hallway are the jewels of my collection. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1773 | Never hunt at night. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1774 | Not bad for a Muggle, eh? | 1.2867 | 0.04370 | 150 | 113 | 31 | 6 |
1775 | Fake news knows no bounds. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1776 | That shot was especially challenging because of the young girl on its back | 1.2867 | 0.04370 | 150 | 113 | 31 | 6 |
1777 | Yes, I bagged this beauty days after the EPA announced the repeal of the Endangered Species Act. I must admit, I had my doubts, but this President continues to deliver on his promises. | 1.2867 | 0.04855 | 150 | 118 | 21 | 11 |
1778 | My daughter disowned me. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1779 | It's not a white rhino, but what can you do? | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1780 | Of course, the real challenge was getting it past customs. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1781 | My granddaughter was upset, but I think it toughened her up. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1782 | And this one is from the time Cynthia refused to clean her room. | 1.2867 | 0.04855 | 150 | 118 | 21 | 11 |
1783 | Yeah, I’m at the top of PETA’s list. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1784 | Yes, my grandchildren were heartbroken, but I just had to have one. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1785 | I know it's not real, but then-neither are we! | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1786 | How was I to know it was the last of its kind. Now my kids won't even talk to me. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1787 | Sure it makes my grandchildren cry, but all those years of tracking rainbow poop, I've got to hang it. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1788 | Scott Pruitt made the middle trophy possible. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1789 | I do try to use the whole unicorn. | 1.2867 | 0.04266 | 150 | 112 | 33 | 5 |
1790 | The hard part was finding a princess to act as the bait. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1791 | My ex did call me the killer of dreams | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1792 | Sparkles here is the reason I only have one lung. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1793 | Fun fact: It was not the last one. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1794 | I had to use glitter bullets on that one. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1795 | Bagged that when I was on an LSD trip years ago. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1796 | You should’ve seen the centaur that got away. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1797 | Mythical, maybe. Dead, definitely. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1798 | I used a double barreled shotgun and strong hallucinogens. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1799 | It was always on my bucket list. | 1.2867 | 0.04667 | 150 | 116 | 25 | 9 |
1800 | I don't think this is what my daughter meant when she asked for a stuffed unicorn. | 1.2867 | 0.04471 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1801 | The NRA is insisting on diversity. | 1.2867 | 0.04855 | 150 | 118 | 21 | 11 |
1802 | Oh hell, this ones just my mask from burning man. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1803 | Yes, bagged that on a trip with Eric and Don Jr.. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1804 | And even then I couldn't get an erection. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1805 | It's my old horse. I glued the painted carrot on his forehead. | 1.2867 | 0.04762 | 150 | 117 | 23 | 10 |
1806 | I think it's starting to kick in. Should we all kiss? | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1807 | I have the last passenger pigeon too. | 1.2867 | 0.04570 | 150 | 115 | 27 | 8 |
1808 | Oh, I admit it was cute, but it kept crappin' on my lawn! | 1.2857 | 0.04487 | 154 | 118 | 28 | 8 |
1809 | Bagged it at my daughters birthday party | 1.2848 | 0.04917 | 151 | 120 | 19 | 12 |
1810 | Yeah, it was the last one. I guess that means I "Won". | 1.2848 | 0.04445 | 151 | 115 | 29 | 7 |
1811 | I love LSD nights at your house. | 1.2848 | 0.04345 | 151 | 114 | 31 | 6 |
1812 | She never even knew what glitter. | 1.2847 | 0.04894 | 144 | 113 | 21 | 10 |
1813 | What's weird is the guy down at Jimmy's Taxidermy said it was a fake. | 1.2839 | 0.04735 | 155 | 122 | 22 | 11 |
1814 | Mrs.Thurber shot it in her garden right after she was released from the hospital. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1815 | Yeah, my granddaughter was NOT happy. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1816 | It turns out that a My Little Pony hunting license is very pricey. | 1.2838 | 0.04292 | 148 | 111 | 32 | 5 |
1817 | My granddaughter has never forgiven me for that kill. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1818 | My Little Pony is next. | 1.2838 | 0.05077 | 148 | 119 | 16 | 13 |
1819 | I used superglue...and suave. My ten year old daughter still thinks it’s legit. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1820 | I think it's a fake. What do you think? | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1821 | Not me ... my little granddaughter bagged that one. That was before she became a vegan. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1822 | You really do take the fun out of everything. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1823 | I bagged that one using hollow-point skittles. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1824 | I don't think this is what your daughter meant when she said she wanted a unicorn... | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1825 | My daughter has stopped speaking with me. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1826 | Oh yes! Becky is an avid hunter and NRA member! | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1827 | So I said to Don Jr and Eric, 'Why don't you let me keep this one?' | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1828 | Seeing my kids not on their phones is rarer. | 1.2838 | 0.04072 | 148 | 109 | 36 | 3 |
1829 | It lends a certain 'Je ne sais quoi,' don't you think? | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1830 | My grandchildren want to kill me... | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1831 | My granddaughter bagged the one in the middle. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1832 | It's from a merry-go-around but it keeps my grandchildren away. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1833 | I know it's nothing compared to your 12-point buck, Larry, but it works with the ladies. | 1.2838 | 0.04072 | 148 | 109 | 36 | 3 |
1834 | You would not believe what my granddaughter called me! | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1835 | And that was the end of what had been a very promising startup I.P.O. | 1.2838 | 0.04986 | 148 | 118 | 18 | 12 |
1836 | It was really tough getting that one off the carousel. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1837 | My toughest kill. It kept flying around farting rainbows. | 1.2838 | 0.05077 | 148 | 119 | 16 | 13 |
1838 | She was originally commissioned for the Oval but Don was insecure about the pink and purple sparkly flowing mane. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1839 | I got a great deal on the middle one - a British guy called Voldemort sold it to me. | 1.2838 | 0.04184 | 148 | 110 | 34 | 4 |
1840 | Internet misunderstanding; I thought I was buying into 'Uni-coin'. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1841 | Realistic looking, but, Fake News. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1842 | Next, come see the Loch Ness room. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1843 | It's of the genus carousel. | 1.2838 | 0.04292 | 148 | 111 | 32 | 5 |
1844 | Our guide was a satyr named Lenny. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1845 | We know a thing or two because we've seen thing or two; pamparrampampam | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1846 | It's supposedly mythical, but I found lots of them on Wall Street. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1847 | Now that's a combover! | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1848 | Now, we are truly able to say there is no such thing as a unicorn. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1849 | My granddaughter no longer speaks to me, but I like it. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1850 | So they did exist! | 1.2838 | 0.04072 | 148 | 109 | 36 | 3 |
1851 | She told me she wanted one, now my granddaughter won't talk to me. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1852 | You don't see too many one-point bucks. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1853 | She begged me to spare her life, but what am I - a Democrat? | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1854 | I spotted him at the end of an outstanding rainbow. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1855 | My daughter really wanted one, but she seemed upset when I showed it to her. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1856 | And that's my little pony... | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1857 | Yes, she's a beauty from a bygone era- the carousel from Palisades Park. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1858 | And this is the trophy I took when I stepped off the merry go round. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1859 | Poor bastard thought _I_ was imaginary. | 1.2838 | 0.05167 | 148 | 120 | 14 | 14 |
1860 | Buying a six-year-old's soul was the hard part. After that, it was just like hunting anything else. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1861 | I bagged this one at the Cloisters. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1862 | Note the orange mane! | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1863 | My daughter wanted to mount a unicorn, so I did. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1864 | Dirty little secret, they love Doritos. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1865 | I hallucinate when I hunt. | 1.2838 | 0.04986 | 148 | 118 | 18 | 12 |
1866 | The wife made me glue on the horn. I guess a unicorn is exotic, but a horse is weird. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1867 | Actually, my wife took its other antler in the divorce. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1868 | I credit my imaginary friend for the middle trophy. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1869 | That's from my merry go round collection | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1870 | Shouldn't that be in the Rainbow Room? | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1871 | I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit this, but I simply fired into a herd of them outside Palo Alto and this one just dropped. | 1.2838 | 0.04986 | 148 | 118 | 18 | 12 |
1872 | Weird but the deer and the cow were the hard ones to get . . . | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1873 | Did you buy the whole Ferris wheel? | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1874 | The last unicorn.... We probably should have bred her first. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1875 | ...and he won the Belmont Stakes by a horn. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1876 | It was the most challenging terrain I've ever hunted -- the display floor at FAO Schwarz. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1877 | Yes, it's true: rainbows! But they still smell like regular farts. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1878 | I tried to hunt this one from a helicopter, but I ended up having to rent a griffin. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1879 | My little girl shot that one. | 1.2838 | 0.04701 | 148 | 115 | 24 | 9 |
1880 | Well, they don't exist anymore. | 1.2838 | 0.04986 | 148 | 118 | 18 | 12 |
1881 | Got 'em at thirty yards in front of Tristar Pictures, Culver City, California... | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1882 | For some reason, my family stopped talking to me after this one. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1883 | From a distance, it looked like a rhino. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1884 | I got that one off a Merry Go Round in 1989. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1885 | We call her "Hillary". | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1886 | Now, this one I don't remember too much. I was experimenting with LSD at the time. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1887 | Anyone can be a myth-buster, but how many have the commitment to be a myth-killer? | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1888 | And I killed this one by driving a carrot through its skull. | 1.2838 | 0.05077 | 148 | 119 | 16 | 13 |
1889 | I know it's really a prop. But he just shouted, "Fake News" until we agreed to hang it. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1890 | As expected, tastes like Chicken. | 1.2838 | 0.04798 | 148 | 116 | 22 | 10 |
1891 | Bagging that one was a dream come true. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1892 | That's when my grandaughter stopped talking to me. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1893 | My daughter isn't talking to me anymore. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1894 | You should see the Pegasus that got away. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1895 | The real difficulty was finding a virgin to bait the field. | 1.2838 | 0.05167 | 148 | 120 | 14 | 14 |
1896 | How? I followed my dream. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1897 | I got the very last one! | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1898 | If he were really so magical, he would have flown away. | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1899 | Am I a bad person? | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1900 | It turned out that it was the company's earnings that were mythical. | 1.2838 | 0.04398 | 148 | 112 | 30 | 6 |
1901 | The one in the middle is virtual. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1902 | So lifelike.... | 1.2838 | 0.04602 | 148 | 114 | 26 | 8 |
1903 | My kids are still crying. | 1.2838 | 0.04501 | 148 | 113 | 28 | 7 |
1904 | Don Jr said endangered species are THE status symbol. | 1.2838 | 0.04893 | 148 | 117 | 20 | 11 |
1905 | Yep, Florida Fun Fair Carousel 1986. | 1.2829 | 0.04613 | 152 | 118 | 25 | 9 |
1906 | There's nothing quite like bagging the last intellectual conservative. | 1.2828 | 0.04559 | 145 | 111 | 27 | 7 |
1907 | It was a dream trip. | 1.2828 | 0.04559 | 145 | 111 | 27 | 7 |
1908 | My daughter has never stopped hating me. | 1.2828 | 0.04864 | 145 | 114 | 21 | 10 |
1909 | Actually, I hit it while backing out of my driveway. | 1.2828 | 0.04663 | 145 | 112 | 25 | 8 |
1910 | It was strange how this one kept bobbing up and down going in circles and not to mention the music. | 1.2828 | 0.04765 | 145 | 113 | 23 | 9 |
1911 | The farting rainbow thing is the myth | 1.2828 | 0.04559 | 145 | 111 | 27 | 7 |
1912 | I'm still wondering why she isn't called a unihorn | 1.2819 | 0.04769 | 149 | 117 | 22 | 10 |
1913 | It took forever, but you have to indulge the trophy wife. | 1.2819 | 0.04475 | 149 | 114 | 28 | 7 |
1914 | I hate sounding like Trump, but I’ve got to say it’s a fake trophy. | 1.2819 | 0.04575 | 149 | 115 | 26 | 8 |
1915 | My children have stopped talking to me... | 1.2819 | 0.04475 | 149 | 114 | 28 | 7 |
1916 | I didn't so much kill it, as I did love it to death. | 1.2819 | 0.04373 | 149 | 113 | 30 | 6 |
1917 | A taxidermist walks into a bar... | 1.2817 | 0.04934 | 142 | 112 | 20 | 10 |
1918 | I had to be so accurate at the time as the carousel was fully occupied. | 1.2808 | 0.04635 | 146 | 113 | 25 | 8 |
1919 | I bagged him at the Renaissance Faire. | 1.2808 | 0.04319 | 146 | 110 | 31 | 5 |
1920 | Not boasting, of course, but I got the very last one before they became extinct. | 1.2808 | 0.04532 | 146 | 112 | 27 | 7 |
1921 | I literally killed a fantasy. | 1.2808 | 0.04736 | 146 | 114 | 23 | 9 |
1922 | It's actually just a GMO horse. | 1.2800 | 0.04243 | 150 | 113 | 32 | 5 |
1923 | I feel a little guilty about that one. | 1.2800 | 0.04449 | 150 | 115 | 28 | 7 |
1924 | Call me a snob, but I think the one in the middle’s a reproduction. | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1925 | Taxidermist let us stuff her with cotton candy. | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1926 | I'll lend you the book—it describes these beasts and where to find them. | 1.2797 | 0.04483 | 143 | 109 | 28 | 6 |
1927 | The kids were pretty upset about that one. | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1928 | ...so there I was in the Candy Cane forest | 1.2797 | 0.04592 | 143 | 110 | 26 | 7 |
1929 | ...and this one is from Don Junior's private collection | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1930 | Well, they WERE real. | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1931 | The eyelashes are real but I glued the horn on myself | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1932 | So I told her it's my man cave and I'll put what I like in it | 1.2797 | 0.04698 | 143 | 111 | 24 | 8 |
1933 | He was in a herd of strange beasts who were oddly running in a circle, | 1.2797 | 0.04372 | 143 | 108 | 30 | 5 |
1934 | It's the first one that's actually a chick magnet. | 1.2797 | 0.04801 | 143 | 112 | 22 | 9 |
1935 | My granddaughter still hasn't forgiven me for ruining her birthday party. | 1.2797 | 0.04801 | 143 | 112 | 22 | 9 |
1936 | We’re now hunting children’s dreams to extinction. | 1.2786 | 0.04427 | 140 | 106 | 29 | 5 |
1937 | They were thought to be extinct, but I proved otherwise. | 1.2786 | 0.03802 | 140 | 101 | 39 | 0 |
1938 | You know, it was just too hard to keep its wings clipped | 1.2781 | 0.04619 | 151 | 118 | 24 | 9 |
1939 | My financial advisor told me to invest in a unicorn. | 1.2778 | 0.04669 | 144 | 112 | 24 | 8 |
1940 | Yes,the false eyelashes surprised me too. And the wig. | 1.2778 | 0.04564 | 144 | 111 | 26 | 7 |
1941 | That one is not as horny as the other two. | 1.2770 | 0.04375 | 148 | 113 | 29 | 6 |
1942 | Please don't tell my daughter about this. | 1.2770 | 0.04375 | 148 | 113 | 29 | 6 |
1943 | It was particularly difficult to bring that into the country. | 1.2770 | 0.04269 | 148 | 112 | 31 | 5 |
1944 | Beauty humiliates me, so I destroy it. | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1945 | And the steaks were, of course, served rare. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1946 | This is the result of Trump gutting the Imaginary Species Act. | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1947 | So my daughter stopped speaking to me, but it really brings the room togerther. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1948 | It was a billion in one shot. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1949 | First, bait them with tax cuts, then use the red tape to bring 'em down. | 1.2766 | 0.04942 | 141 | 112 | 19 | 10 |
1950 | The unicorn required an accurate shot, since the merry-go-round had started moving. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1951 | You think you're done for, then instinct takes over. | 1.2766 | 0.05044 | 141 | 113 | 17 | 11 |
1952 | My daughter bagged it when she was seven. | 1.2766 | 0.05044 | 141 | 113 | 17 | 11 |
1953 | After that, nobody ever again told me you couldn’t kill a horse with a narwhal. | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1954 | The good news is my proctologist expects me to have a full recovery. | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1955 | Yes, it IS one of a kind. | 1.2766 | 0.04283 | 141 | 106 | 31 | 4 |
1956 | I never dreamed environmental deregulation would go this far! | 1.2766 | 0.04400 | 141 | 107 | 29 | 5 |
1957 | I’ve hunted for one all my life, then there it was, doing a commercial. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1958 | Glad to see the new White House hunting trophies match his Time Magazine covers. | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1959 | It was a magical moment. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1960 | My daughter compared me to Voldemort. It was worth it. | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1961 | Yes, this was yet another trophy donated by Dick Cheney... | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1962 | My daughter’s first kill. She was only ten. | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1963 | Bagged it during my weekend at Woodstock. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1964 | Unfortunately for her, my wish was to finish decorating the den. | 1.2766 | 0.04283 | 141 | 106 | 31 | 4 |
1965 | The hardest part was finding the virgin maiden hunting guide. | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1966 | Knowing what I know now... yeah, I suppose I do have some regret. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1967 | It was magically delicious! | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1968 | It’s the only one I brought down using an ice cream cone! | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1969 | Is this what they meant when they said we should embrace diversity? | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1970 | There I was - the sun just beginning to fall - and I heard a noise. I whirled around and suddenly realized - I was alone - on the Merry-go-round. So... | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1971 | Yes. He actually did fart glitter. | 1.2766 | 0.04838 | 141 | 111 | 21 | 9 |
1972 | The unicorn I got at a Dead concert back in '72. | 1.2766 | 0.04733 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1973 | Bagged him in Disneyworld in 07. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1974 | Well, I guess Greg really did go to Candy Mountain for his latest hunting trip. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1975 | The hardest part was finding a virgin to lure this beauty out of the woods. | 1.2766 | 0.04513 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1976 | Of course I told my daughter they weren't real. | 1.2766 | 0.04624 | 141 | 109 | 25 | 7 |
1977 | Donors visit to Eric and Donald, Jr.'s last of their species room. | 1.2766 | 0.04163 | 141 | 105 | 33 | 3 |
1978 | Well, he granted me one wish. | 1.2759 | 0.04536 | 145 | 112 | 26 | 7 |
1979 | Actually, Big Foot shot that one. | 1.2752 | 0.04453 | 149 | 115 | 27 | 7 |
1980 | I had to get one before they were all gone. | 1.2752 | 0.04453 | 149 | 115 | 27 | 7 |
1981 | Actually, it’s just a pony that was raised on GMO hay. | 1.2746 | 0.04808 | 142 | 112 | 21 | 9 |
1982 | Don, Jr. really screwed up this time. | 1.2746 | 0.04703 | 142 | 111 | 23 | 8 |
1983 | Yeah, she's a real beauty. I bagged her with Excalibur. | 1.2746 | 0.04486 | 142 | 109 | 27 | 6 |
1984 | Are you a big game hunter or the prince of narnia? | 1.2746 | 0.04486 | 142 | 109 | 27 | 6 |
1985 | I found it in a Thurber story. | 1.2741 | 0.04753 | 135 | 105 | 23 | 7 |
1986 | Yes, of course I knew it was endangered and now extinct but come on, look at those lashes. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1987 | I bagged that one in my sleep. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
1988 | They are not quite as rare as you think. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1989 | Inconceivable! Did you know that your clock is 3 minutes fast? | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1990 | I think that a carriage clock would help the room look more formal. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1991 | My granddaughter wasn't as excited about it as I expected. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
1992 | It was unusual. No blood. Just glitter. | 1.2734 | 0.04186 | 139 | 104 | 32 | 3 |
1993 | My daughter brought it back from a birthday party. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
1994 | The one in the middle is from a trip with Puff the Magic Dragon | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1995 | I have to admit, I thought all those trips to Narnia he talked about were made up. | 1.2734 | 0.04982 | 139 | 111 | 18 | 10 |
1996 | I bagged the last one after the EPA voided the Endangered Species Act | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
1997 | I bagged that one at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. | 1.2734 | 0.04309 | 139 | 105 | 30 | 4 |
1998 | It just tastes like chicken. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
1999 | Actually, my grand-daughter bagged that one. | 1.2734 | 0.04982 | 139 | 111 | 18 | 10 |
2000 | Trump Jr. assured me that it wasn't wasteful. The villagers were happy for the meat. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2001 | The hardest part was getting the rainbow bullets. | 1.2734 | 0.04428 | 139 | 106 | 28 | 5 |
2002 | White privilege. It’s everywhere you look. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2003 | That’s from the psilocybin safari | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2004 | Timothy Leary and I were walking in a park near Greenwich, and on a whim we followed some six year old to a birthday party and there it was. | 1.2734 | 0.04982 | 139 | 111 | 18 | 10 |
2005 | Lucky for me, it was the last one. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2006 | I bagged this one while on safari in Candyland. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2007 | Who wants to tell Jack that he'll have to re-book the entertainment for his granddaughter's birthday party? | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2008 | And here we have my prized possession, the Hopes and Dreams of the Obama Administration. | 1.2734 | 0.05187 | 139 | 113 | 14 | 12 |
2009 | So glad, " Fake news" is a thing of the past"! | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2010 | I'm hoping it's less controversial than Cecil the Lion. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2011 | They're really just horses from the neck down. | 1.2734 | 0.04428 | 139 | 106 | 28 | 5 |
2012 | My daughter wasn't too thrilled about that one... | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2013 | And if you move on to the living room you will see the Big-Foot rug. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2014 | Gay Gun Club’s ‘Fabulous First Meeting’ | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2015 | And this, my friends, was once a gentle, inquisitive, and whimsical creature whom I felt like killing. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2016 | I shot her last Sunday in my fantasy hunting league. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2017 | They say the meat tastes like Big Bird... | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2018 | I'll never forget my first trip to Disneyland. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2019 | ...so graceful and magical. Also, dumb. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2020 | And, that 'Come, hither' look made this one an especially hard kill. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2021 | I've heard some jerkwater wizard has put a bounty on my head. | 1.2734 | 0.04309 | 139 | 105 | 30 | 4 |
2022 | County fair carousel - 1977 | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2023 | I'm still torn over the ethics of killing for fantasy sport. | 1.2734 | 0.04186 | 139 | 104 | 32 | 3 |
2024 | On that same hunting trip I also bagged a jackalope. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2025 | So, anyone gonna say anything about the Unicorn on Dave's wall? | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2026 | If anyone asks, this doesn't exist. | 1.2734 | 0.04428 | 139 | 106 | 28 | 5 |
2027 | The wager was he didn't exist. I won. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2028 | I used a legendary bullet. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2029 | Surprisingly, once barbequed, it tasted like chicken. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2030 | Isn't 3D printing wonderful. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2031 | Better keep this under wraps, remember that dentist who killed the Lion? | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2032 | My granddaughter said the giant teddy bear still didn’t make up for it. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2033 | A phoenix over the fireplace would have made a lot more sense. | 1.2734 | 0.04428 | 139 | 106 | 28 | 5 |
2034 | That's when my granddaughter stopped speaking to me. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2035 | You wouldn't believe how distracting rainbows can be when trying to get a kill shot. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2036 | That's the last time my daughter went with me on safari. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2037 | Lost the granddaughter with that one. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2038 | My daughter never forgave me. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2039 | Took her down with My Little Winchester. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2040 | My grand-daughter kept asking for one, so... | 1.2734 | 0.05086 | 139 | 112 | 16 | 11 |
2041 | No, don't be silly. I used to maintain the carousel down on the boardwalk. | 1.2734 | 0.04768 | 139 | 109 | 22 | 8 |
2042 | It sure is a beautiful trophy - the downside is that I'm doomed to live a cursed, half-life for the rest of eternity, and my 7 year old grand-daughter hates me. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2043 | If it was real, my daughters would have my head up there instead. | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2044 | This one I bagged on a Coney Island merry-go-round safari | 1.2734 | 0.04876 | 139 | 110 | 20 | 9 |
2045 | My taxidermist is also the town beautician. | 1.2734 | 0.04544 | 139 | 107 | 26 | 6 |
2046 | And that's when I realized that I was at a Furry convention. | 1.2734 | 0.04982 | 139 | 111 | 18 | 10 |
2047 | He was hiding in my daughter's bedroom. | 1.2734 | 0.04658 | 139 | 108 | 24 | 7 |
2048 | Do you know how hard it is to score a Unicorn permit? | 1.2727 | 0.04568 | 143 | 111 | 25 | 7 |
2049 | My only concern was whether that was ivory or not. | 1.2727 | 0.04699 | 132 | 102 | 24 | 6 |
2050 | I bagged it in Silicon Valley. | 1.2727 | 0.04674 | 143 | 112 | 23 | 8 |
2051 | That antique clock is a rare Tambour. | 1.2727 | 0.04568 | 143 | 111 | 25 | 7 |
2052 | I took this specimen from the Forbidden Forest. Thank goodness Trump lifted the unicorn import ban. | 1.2727 | 0.04568 | 143 | 111 | 25 | 7 |
2053 | Oh, that's just my little trophy. | 1.2727 | 0.04880 | 143 | 114 | 19 | 10 |
2054 | I bagged that one at Magic Kingdom. | 1.2721 | 0.05163 | 136 | 110 | 15 | 11 |
2055 | My daughter still hates me. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
2056 | See that one in the middle there? It's diamond encrusted from Tiffany's. And keeps perfect time too. | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
2057 | I got it when the circus closed It reminds me of my ex wife | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
2058 | They did say imagination was the greatest weapon | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
2059 | He charged, a twinkle in his eyes, rainbows shooting from his nostrils.... | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
2060 | Used a double barrel loaded with pixie dust on this one. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
2061 | Actually it tastes like chicken. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
2062 | Yeah, the grandkids aren’t allowed in this room anymore | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
2063 | Papa Smurf led us to a whole herd of them. | 1.2721 | 0.05056 | 136 | 109 | 17 | 10 |
2064 | Our centaur shot that one. | 1.2714 | 0.04516 | 140 | 108 | 26 | 6 |
2065 | Well, when I was a kid Dad got me a gun instead of the My Little Pony I wanted. | 1.2714 | 0.04738 | 140 | 110 | 22 | 8 |
2066 | How'd I know that I'd crossed into Fantasy Land? | 1.2714 | 0.04516 | 140 | 108 | 26 | 6 |
2067 | I haven't yet told the kids that it's fake. | 1.2714 | 0.04516 | 140 | 108 | 26 | 6 |
2068 | Do I regret killing Sparkles? Only every time I see a rainbow. | 1.2714 | 0.04282 | 140 | 106 | 30 | 4 |
2069 | I'm fine with it. He assured me he wasn't the last. | 1.2714 | 0.04628 | 140 | 109 | 24 | 7 |
2070 | It turns out that PETA doesn't have leverage in dealing with mythical creatures. | 1.2714 | 0.04628 | 140 | 109 | 24 | 7 |
2071 | My granddaughter's first kill. | 1.2714 | 0.04401 | 140 | 107 | 28 | 5 |
2072 | And that one's from our safari in the wardrobe. | 1.2714 | 0.04845 | 140 | 111 | 20 | 9 |
2073 | You might recall this from that New Age remake of The Godfather? | 1.2714 | 0.04845 | 140 | 111 | 20 | 9 |
2074 | It cost me a million in therapy and my kids still don't speak to me, but the Trump part of me feels it was totally worth it... | 1.2714 | 0.04738 | 140 | 110 | 22 | 8 |
2075 | No choice really. Not if I wanted roses in the garden. | 1.2708 | 0.04540 | 144 | 112 | 25 | 7 |
2076 | Nowadays, you can't even look at a horny female. | 1.2708 | 0.04749 | 144 | 114 | 21 | 9 |
2077 | Marlene didn't believe I'd seen it, so I found it again and shot it to prove her wrong. | 1.2701 | 0.04576 | 137 | 106 | 25 | 6 |
2078 | She was My little pony. | 1.2701 | 0.05023 | 137 | 110 | 17 | 10 |
2079 | My first fantasy convention, and I quite enjoyed it. | 1.2701 | 0.04691 | 137 | 107 | 23 | 7 |
2080 | I got this one on a carousel. | 1.2701 | 0.04335 | 137 | 104 | 29 | 4 |
2081 | It's funny how the eye seems to follow you around the room. | 1.2701 | 0.04576 | 137 | 106 | 25 | 6 |
2082 | I bagged this one on Wall Street | 1.2701 | 0.04915 | 137 | 109 | 19 | 9 |
2083 | It was his last wish. | 1.2701 | 0.04691 | 137 | 107 | 23 | 7 |
2084 | And that was one of the many that did’t quite make it in Silicon Valley. | 1.2701 | 0.04915 | 137 | 109 | 19 | 9 |
2085 | No, its just a faked up old pony that keeled over at my daughter's birthday party. Least I could do for her. | 1.2701 | 0.05023 | 137 | 110 | 17 | 10 |
2086 | I swear if they say one more thing about how unicorns are not real. | 1.2701 | 0.04691 | 137 | 107 | 23 | 7 |
2087 | At first I thought I was seeing things, but then I saw the glitter trail. | 1.2701 | 0.04457 | 137 | 105 | 27 | 5 |
2088 | I was the first to bag a Silicon Valley unicorn. | 1.2701 | 0.04079 | 137 | 102 | 33 | 2 |
2089 | Do you think this means female orgasms are real too? | 1.2701 | 0.05129 | 137 | 111 | 15 | 11 |
2090 | Don't feel bad. It's only imaginary! | 1.2701 | 0.04576 | 137 | 106 | 25 | 6 |
2091 | "Found it poking around my Viagra. | 1.2701 | 0.05129 | 137 | 111 | 15 | 11 |
2092 | Bagged him on the carousel at Asbury Park. | 1.2695 | 0.04488 | 141 | 109 | 26 | 6 |
2093 | It wasn't as hard as you think. It just kept coming around and around until I bagged it | 1.2695 | 0.04599 | 141 | 110 | 24 | 7 |
2094 | Some guilt, but Don Jr. said his dad removed it from the endangered list, so...you know. I took my shot. | 1.2695 | 0.04599 | 141 | 110 | 24 | 7 |
2095 | This one I shot because I really didn't like his attitude | 1.2695 | 0.04599 | 141 | 110 | 24 | 7 |
2096 | At first it was PETA, then the ACLU got involved, then it was a LGBT coalition. Our lawyers said it would be cheaper to settle... | 1.2695 | 0.04815 | 141 | 112 | 20 | 9 |
2097 | A tough shot. She was spinning around on a carousel with a little kid on her back. | 1.2695 | 0.04708 | 141 | 111 | 22 | 8 |
2098 | You wouldn’t believe the taxidermist’s bill. | 1.2695 | 0.04815 | 141 | 112 | 20 | 9 |
2099 | I bagged that one while hunting for a big foot in Narnia. | 1.2695 | 0.04599 | 141 | 110 | 24 | 7 |
2100 | Most evil hunter? I was neck and neck with the President's son and some dentist, but now I'm a head. | 1.2695 | 0.04599 | 141 | 110 | 24 | 7 |
2101 | If you think that’s impressive, you should see the hood of my car. | 1.2695 | 0.04256 | 141 | 107 | 30 | 4 |
2102 | The horn is the straightest thing about this. | 1.2692 | 0.04858 | 130 | 102 | 21 | 7 |
2103 | it was a magical feeling . | 1.2690 | 0.04512 | 145 | 113 | 25 | 7 |
2104 | I do have a few mythical issues with it. | 1.2687 | 0.04637 | 134 | 104 | 24 | 6 |
2105 | Bagged this beauty at my granddaughter's birthday party. | 1.2687 | 0.04873 | 134 | 106 | 20 | 8 |
2106 | In the other room I have some green alligators and long-necked geese, humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees... | 1.2687 | 0.04873 | 134 | 106 | 20 | 8 |
2107 | Coney Island, 1962. I was five. | 1.2687 | 0.04637 | 134 | 104 | 24 | 6 |
2108 | Yes, Old Stewball was a real race horse, and I'm glad he was mine. He actually only drank water, but he earned me great wine. His bridle was silver, and he dyed his mane gold; His Unicorn name was Phyllis, and she never looked old. | 1.2687 | 0.04757 | 134 | 105 | 22 | 7 |
2109 | I recall Kesey was driving when this guy tried to get on the bus. | 1.2687 | 0.04757 | 134 | 105 | 22 | 7 |
2110 | Well, we were all taking a lot of LSD back in those days. | 1.2687 | 0.04873 | 134 | 106 | 20 | 8 |
2111 | Well Frank, I think you just punched your ticket to go straight to hell. | 1.2687 | 0.04515 | 134 | 103 | 26 | 5 |
2112 | I got it at Costco. It's the last one they had. | 1.2687 | 0.04389 | 134 | 102 | 28 | 4 |
2113 | Unique? Sure. But my little girl hasn’t spoken to me in three years. | 1.2687 | 0.04637 | 134 | 104 | 24 | 6 |
2114 | It can't be real. Just look at those lashes... | 1.2687 | 0.04515 | 134 | 103 | 26 | 5 |
2115 | Grab your coats. The Yeti is in the walk-in freezer. | 1.2687 | 0.04389 | 134 | 102 | 28 | 4 |
2116 | Of course, accessories and a little eye makeup, go a long way. | 1.2687 | 0.04873 | 134 | 106 | 20 | 8 |
2117 | This one was like a dream come true. | 1.2683 | 0.04628 | 123 | 94 | 25 | 4 |
2118 | It’s a surprise for my daughter. She loves stuffed animals | 1.2681 | 0.04308 | 138 | 105 | 29 | 4 |
2119 | It was easy. She reminded me of my ex-wife. | 1.2681 | 0.04990 | 138 | 111 | 17 | 10 |
2120 | It just seemed to be daring me. | 1.2681 | 0.04661 | 138 | 108 | 23 | 7 |
2121 | It belonged to the prior owner, some British guy named Lord Voldemort. | 1.2681 | 0.05095 | 138 | 112 | 15 | 11 |
2122 | Yeah, but at least I hold the Guinness world record for hate mail, and the second runner-up position for death threats. | 1.2681 | 0.04661 | 138 | 108 | 23 | 7 |
2123 | ...so naturally I shot him. | 1.2681 | 0.04773 | 138 | 109 | 21 | 8 |
2124 | I nailed this sucker after my Son fell off the carousel. | 1.2681 | 0.04183 | 138 | 104 | 31 | 3 |
2125 | Yep, tagged this one in the enchanted forest. | 1.2676 | 0.04347 | 142 | 109 | 28 | 5 |
2126 | An antelope, a unicorn, and a bull walk into a topless bar . . . | 1.2676 | 0.04784 | 142 | 113 | 20 | 9 |
2127 | Luckily, I brought the shotgun to my granddaughter's birthday party. | 1.2667 | 0.05065 | 135 | 109 | 16 | 10 |
2128 | From Toys"R"Us's going-out-of-business sale. | 1.2667 | 0.04607 | 135 | 105 | 24 | 6 |
2129 | She decided she wanted a hamster | 1.2667 | 0.04841 | 135 | 107 | 20 | 8 |
2130 | I know. I know. I didn't think they existed either. I saw it and just had to have it, so I shot it. | 1.2667 | 0.04841 | 135 | 107 | 20 | 8 |
2131 | Shhhh... they're all fake. | 1.2667 | 0.04607 | 135 | 105 | 24 | 6 |
2132 | ..And this one just came out of nowhere from behind that old Toys R’ Us... | 1.2667 | 0.04486 | 135 | 104 | 26 | 5 |
2133 | I'm pretty sure I bagged my limit on that one. | 1.2667 | 0.03962 | 135 | 100 | 34 | 1 |
2134 | Capturing the horse was easy. Gluing the cone on was the hard part. | 1.2667 | 0.04486 | 135 | 104 | 26 | 5 |
2135 | It tasted like chicken. | 1.2667 | 0.04954 | 135 | 108 | 18 | 9 |
2136 | Sure, Ron, all your hunting stories end with 'it must have been magic.' | 1.2657 | 0.04543 | 143 | 112 | 24 | 7 |
2137 | Surprisingly, it tasted a lot like California Condor. | 1.2657 | 0.04857 | 143 | 115 | 18 | 10 |
2138 | How a horse mated with a narwhal, I'll never know. | 1.2656 | 0.04896 | 128 | 101 | 20 | 7 |
2139 | Beauty mocks me, so I destroy it. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2140 | This have really changed under Scott Pruitt | 1.2652 | 0.05253 | 132 | 108 | 13 | 11 |
2141 | Miracles really do come true once you find the right taxidermist. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2142 | No, I'd never heard of a horse falling on his sword, either. | 1.2652 | 0.05142 | 132 | 107 | 15 | 10 |
2143 | ...and our interior designer told us a little pop of color would be a nice update for our mounted head collection. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2144 | Mythical my ass! | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2145 | And that one I bagged on Fantasy Island | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2146 | It’s for my granddaughter. She collects unicorns. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2147 | What's funny is he was aiming for the leprechaun. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2148 | My granddaughter is quite a shot. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2149 | I caught him crossing the road in Silicon Valley. | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2150 | Needless to say, my grand-daughter never forgave me for that one. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2151 | General Mills has declared them Magically Delicious. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2152 | Who knew? | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2153 | I've Tinkerbell stuffed in the other room | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2154 | He wasn't wild about my wish. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2155 | It was a thank-you gift from Oliver North. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2156 | This one I bagged at the Magic Kingdom. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2157 | Bagged that one for my little granddaughter. Ungrateful child. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2158 | I bagged him while on safari in Orlando, Florida. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2159 | I got tired of keeping it real. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2160 | And that’s the last time I went to Disney. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2161 | I'm just that big of a dick. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2162 | My daughter-in-law gave me a book about getting in touch with your feminine side and I thought, ". . . girls . . . unicorns . . . OK, I can be open to change . . . ." | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2163 | Oh that one? Coney Island merry go round, Why? | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2164 | The eyes really do follow you when you move. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2165 | The difficulty was finding a virgin to capture it. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2166 | I thought they were kidding about a fantasy hunt! | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2167 | I shot that one on Halloween. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2168 | I was told the money would be used to save all the other endangered unicorns | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2169 | We were fortunate the hunting ban was eased. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2170 | "Being mythical, I didn't have to deal with all that endangered species nonsense". | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2171 | Nope, it’s not a horn, A great stylist and a lot of hairspray | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2172 | He was a real party animal | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2173 | This trophy was from my safari in Silicon Valley. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2174 | 'You ever belly crawl on a rainbow?' | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2175 | It was an honor to be in Secretary Zinke's hunting party! | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2176 | She has those Betty Grable eyes. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2177 | You'd be amazed at what I went through to get this...at Toys R Us. | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2178 | I bought it on eBay; They said it was African. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2179 | I like unicorns who weren’t captured | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2180 | I bagged it at Mar-A-Lago. | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2181 | To be fair - it was running straight at the armored Jeep. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2182 | His daughter lives with her mom now. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2183 | It was even more a triumph of imagination than of hunting prowess. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2184 | Last one, unfortunately. But, it had to be done. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2185 | The broker said it’s one of a kind, but I don’t buy it. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2186 | Talk about completing my wish list. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2187 | I want the house to also appeal to the Millenials and Generation Z clients so we installed this vegan, faux fur, gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free, all-organic, grass woven unicorn head. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2188 | Getting permission to shoot the horse was a breeze compared to finding the imported horn on the web. | 1.2652 | 0.05253 | 132 | 108 | 13 | 11 |
2189 | 'I shot that on my fake hunting trip.' | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2190 | I know both of you are sleeping with my wife. So was the unicorn. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2191 | I was hunting pegasus and this showed up. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2192 | What better way to preserve the last of it's kind. | 1.2652 | 0.05142 | 132 | 107 | 15 | 10 |
2193 | Most people don't believe the story behind that one. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2194 | It's impressive, but I think his FBI Director still tops it. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2195 | Let me show you my Mermaid wall. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2196 | I found it on Etsy. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2197 | I bagged that one back in 1974 while I was tripping. | 1.2652 | 0.04912 | 132 | 105 | 19 | 8 |
2198 | Yes, which is what makes it so easy to get the permit. | 1.2652 | 0.04283 | 132 | 100 | 29 | 3 |
2199 | Actually it tastes like chicken. | 1.2652 | 0.05142 | 132 | 107 | 15 | 10 |
2200 | I bagged this one somewhere over the rainbow. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2201 | Don’t ask. | 1.2652 | 0.04283 | 132 | 100 | 29 | 3 |
2202 | You know when Bernie Sanders promised us rainbows and unicorns, I really didn't think he was legit. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2203 | And that’s why the president has made hunting great again. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2204 | And this summer we're off to Crete to bag a minotaur. Let me know if you want in. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2205 | My granddaughter has a 'My Little Pony' collection and I have mine. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2206 | Those little girls cried and cried. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2207 | This one's unbelievable. | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2208 | And I bagged this beauty in Narnia. | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2209 | I really wanted a rhino head but they're very scarce these days. | 1.2652 | 0.04416 | 132 | 101 | 27 | 4 |
2210 | My granddaughter is a little upset about it. | 1.2652 | 0.04793 | 132 | 104 | 21 | 7 |
2211 | I sold the rest for oriental medicine. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2212 | I bagged the one in the middle at Disney On Ice | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2213 | Only a virgin can capture one, but if you have a .308 rifle, the are pretty easy to take down. | 1.2652 | 0.04670 | 132 | 103 | 23 | 6 |
2214 | Psh! Imaginary, my ass! | 1.2652 | 0.05028 | 132 | 106 | 17 | 9 |
2215 | He was a threat to our business model. | 1.2652 | 0.04545 | 132 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
2216 | Ah, my favorite. That was 18 years ago, Silicon Valley. | 1.2647 | 0.04457 | 136 | 105 | 26 | 5 |
2217 | Well, I guess they did exist after all. | 1.2632 | 0.04640 | 133 | 104 | 23 | 6 |
2218 | All I need now is a Mermaid. | 1.2632 | 0.04255 | 133 | 101 | 29 | 3 |
2219 | Oh yes, that was a magical hunt. | 1.2632 | 0.04255 | 133 | 101 | 29 | 3 |
2220 | On Big Rock Candy Mountain, why? | 1.2632 | 0.04515 | 133 | 103 | 25 | 5 |
2221 | So much for fantasies. | 1.2632 | 0.04255 | 133 | 101 | 29 | 3 |
2222 | My wife shot that one. | 1.2632 | 0.04761 | 133 | 105 | 21 | 7 |
2223 | I shot it with a magic bullet. | 1.2632 | 0.04879 | 133 | 106 | 19 | 8 |
2224 | I bagged that one on my Coney Island safari. | 1.2632 | 0.04387 | 133 | 102 | 27 | 4 |
2225 | Donald, Jr. sent me that one. | 1.2632 | 0.04994 | 133 | 107 | 17 | 9 |
2226 | Ironically, it was the last time I spoke to my daughter. | 1.2632 | 0.04761 | 133 | 105 | 21 | 7 |
2227 | I'm no longer welcome at the Wonderland Zoo. | 1.2632 | 0.04515 | 133 | 103 | 25 | 5 |
2228 | That one,yes unfortunately I was arrested for shooting a horse with a party hat. | 1.2632 | 0.04879 | 133 | 106 | 19 | 8 |
2229 | Bagged one on my first trip out to Silicon Valley. | 1.2619 | 0.04671 | 126 | 98 | 23 | 5 |
2230 | After that went up, my daughter got into Goth. | 1.2619 | 0.04671 | 126 | 98 | 23 | 5 |
2231 | I heard that this one was self defense. It's not all rainbows and sunshine with these guys! | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2232 | Unbelievable! | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2233 | Without us hunters, there really wouldn't be a conservation movement. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2234 | I bagged him in under the rainbow in my granddaughter's playhouse. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2235 | It's only for the summer, my granddaughters are coming to stay. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2236 | To my relief, that one wasn't on the Endangered Species List either. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2237 | It's from his last acid trip. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2238 | This was the last one in the world, so I knew I had to have it. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2239 | I actually hit this one with my car. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2240 | I bagged that one at Coney Island. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2241 | This is the only one my wife likes. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2242 | She's got Betty Davis eyes. | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2243 | The hunt was magical. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2244 | Can you believe it? | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2245 | I couldn't find a spotted owl. | 1.2615 | 0.04307 | 130 | 99 | 28 | 3 |
2246 | That one took my glitter gun | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2247 | The grandkids quit talking to me after I bagged that one at 'Play-Time Safari Park.' | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2248 | I had to outbid Don Junior in order to shoot it, but it was worth it. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2249 | The President caught this one on his last trip to the moon. | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2250 | Quite a feat actually - first, I had to imagine it, and then, I had to kill it. Of course, the taxidermy had to share the experience. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2251 | My taxidermist is also in my fantasy league. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2252 | I got that one at my little girl's birthday party. You should have heard the screams. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2253 | Endangered? I prefer “mythical”. | 1.2615 | 0.04166 | 130 | 98 | 30 | 2 |
2254 | I don't know why everyone's so impressed. It's just a one-point buck. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2255 | According to him, he was the last of his kind. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2256 | I was also a bit bit skeptical but then “Nessie” is mounted down the hall. | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2257 | Instead of a hunting dog I used a Pegasus. | 1.2615 | 0.05186 | 130 | 106 | 14 | 10 |
2258 | I shot that one at FAO Schwarz in New York. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2259 | Who's for some ring toss? | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2260 | I bagged this one at my neice’s third birthday party. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2261 | Our company takes great pride in diversity. | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2262 | We are fast approaching the stage of intoxication. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2263 | We're thinning the overpopulated herd along Sand Hill Road. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2264 | Sooner or later, these things are going to be hunted to extinction. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2265 | Who made the sangria? | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2266 | He was eating your mother's roses. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2267 | I only had one shot, but to be honest, he was hard to myth | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2268 | An entire gender reviles me. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2269 | A non-existent trophy.......very Zen. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2270 | Of course the grandchildren aren't allowed in this room. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2271 | The hard part of bagging this one was finding a virgin to use as a lure. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2272 | My first wife never let me go unicorn hunting. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2273 | Not many people know this, but Unicorns are the other other white meat. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2274 | I couldn't decide if I should mount the unicorn or the Dodo. Man, that bird was tasty. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2275 | Shot that one is Asbury Park. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2276 | It was a dream hunt. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2277 | Next I'm going for the Loch Ness monster. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2278 | I didn't have room for the satyr. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2279 | I was just sitting there, with my AR-15 at the Merry-Go-Round. It was almost TOO easy! | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2280 | I sighted him horsing around at a New Year's party. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2281 | Predator, myth, prey. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2282 | I bagged this one in Silicon Valley with my bare hands and a few accounting gimmicks. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2283 | I actually bagged this one on a merry-go-round, but still... | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2284 | Remember that famous "Godfather" scene with a dead unicorn in the bed? | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2285 | Rare? Yes, but anything for my little girl. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2286 | I hear they taste like chicken. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2287 | I got her at a birthday party. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2288 | Best fantasy camp EVER! | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2289 | The NRA has my back. | 1.2615 | 0.04307 | 130 | 99 | 28 | 3 |
2290 | That one I bagged on the Timothy Leary hunting party. | 1.2615 | 0.04166 | 130 | 98 | 30 | 2 |
2291 | Its a conversation piece, about what I have no idea. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2292 | This is why Ollie was asked to lead the NRA | 1.2615 | 0.05186 | 130 | 106 | 14 | 10 |
2293 | It tasted like chicken. | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2294 | No, Miley Cyrus had a garage sale. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2295 | I tell the grand kids that it is a narwhal. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2296 | It was a gift from Uncle Voldemort. | 1.2615 | 0.04307 | 130 | 99 | 28 | 3 |
2297 | The story behind this one is unbelievable. | 1.2615 | 0.04443 | 130 | 100 | 26 | 4 |
2298 | Narnia has the best big game hunting. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2299 | Daughters first trophy. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2300 | I bagged this one with a thirty-aught-six. And a virgin. | 1.2615 | 0.05300 | 130 | 107 | 12 | 11 |
2301 | I'm so proud I preserved them. There's not many of their breed left, ya know. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2302 | It might be the only one, but I did love shooting it. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2303 | And this one is unique. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2304 | June 6, 1967, my first Acid trip. Woke up and the damn thing was on my wall. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2305 | "The center trophy I bagged on a trip with Timothy Leary, the others on a trip to Africa. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2306 | That one I shot in Lala Land | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2307 | I was at a Trump resort when I bagged this baby. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2308 | And when Trump reversed the Obama-era ban on hunting Unicorns, I knew what I had to do. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2309 | I swear, I got the last one out there | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2310 | I got that one while I was micro dosing. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2311 | The taxidermist moonlights as a stylist for a high-end funeral parlour. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2312 | I bagged him when the carousel stopped. | 1.2615 | 0.04951 | 130 | 104 | 18 | 8 |
2313 | It took us ages to track this one down | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2314 | Yeah. The wife prefers that one, although I'm not sure why. | 1.2615 | 0.04704 | 130 | 102 | 22 | 6 |
2315 | The wife thought the room needed a feminine touch. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2316 | This one is from 2016. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2317 | Bagged it near the GMO Research Center. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2318 | Can you believe it, the last one, and 30% off | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2319 | It's illegal to hunt narwals so I'm just hiding the horn in plain view | 1.2615 | 0.05070 | 130 | 105 | 16 | 9 |
2320 | This one reminds me of my daughhter’s fifth birthday. She hasn’t spoken to me in 30 years. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2321 | The hardest part was getting the glitter off of my safari outfit. | 1.2615 | 0.04829 | 130 | 103 | 20 | 7 |
2322 | My daughter says fantasy far outweighs reality. | 1.2615 | 0.04575 | 130 | 101 | 24 | 5 |
2323 | My granddaughter hates me. | 1.2612 | 0.05073 | 134 | 109 | 15 | 10 |
2324 | It's so realistic. | 1.2612 | 0.04961 | 134 | 108 | 17 | 9 |
2325 | It's my pride and joy, but my daughter won't ever speak to me again. | 1.2612 | 0.04729 | 134 | 106 | 21 | 7 |
2326 | My grand-daughter wanted me to get her Twilight Sparkle. Turns out, this is not what she meant. | 1.2612 | 0.04846 | 134 | 107 | 19 | 8 |
2327 | Bagging this one was mythical. | 1.2609 | 0.04400 | 138 | 107 | 26 | 5 |
2328 | I may have crossed a line with that one... | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2329 | I shot it legally in ‘62 before the prohibition on LSD. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2330 | I used a mythical bullet. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2331 | Took it down it with an ice cream cone at 200 yards. Two scoops. One shot. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2332 | I had it delivered overnight express from the other side of the rainbow. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2333 | You just aim at the end of a rainbow and pull the trigger. It's no wonder they're almost extinct. | 1.2598 | 0.04501 | 127 | 98 | 25 | 4 |
2334 | Dave's fake game trophies always create an awkward atmosphere. Wait till you see the elephant in the other room | 1.2598 | 0.04501 | 127 | 98 | 25 | 4 |
2335 | Most formidable carousel I ever tracked. | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2336 | Well, that sort of puts a damper on make-believe. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2337 | The secret is the willing suspension of disbelief. | 1.2598 | 0.04501 | 127 | 98 | 25 | 4 |
2338 | An impala, a unicorn and a bull walk into a barn . . . | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2339 | That's quite a unique horn. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2340 | Nice rhino, Jim. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2341 | Of course, my daughter still won’t talk to me. | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2342 | And I bagged this one in Narnia! | 1.2598 | 0.05269 | 127 | 104 | 13 | 10 |
2343 | Don’t get me started on the glitter. | 1.2598 | 0.04360 | 127 | 97 | 27 | 3 |
2344 | I bagged it on trip in Silicon Valley. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2345 | Remember when you guys asked me why my granddaughter and I are estranged? | 1.2598 | 0.04501 | 127 | 98 | 25 | 4 |
2346 | It's always been a fantasy of mine. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2347 | My granddaughter isn't thrilled. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2348 | Before you judge me, know that he identified as a mule deer. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2349 | Ironic,my first one one was the last one | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2350 | Well, if they did exist, they no longer do . | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2351 | The guys at Mythbusters still don't believe me. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2352 | No, I didn’t mean it metaphorically. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2353 | It's actually my wife's sex toy. | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2354 | So then the game warden says, "Sir, deer don't wear party hats." | 1.2598 | 0.04360 | 127 | 97 | 27 | 3 |
2355 | I'm quite proud of that one. I'm told it was the last of its kind. | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2356 | The last electable centrist Democrat. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2357 | Dang, if it isn't yet more fake gnus... | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2358 | See what I mean? Taxidermy reform only benefits the wealthy. | 1.2598 | 0.04501 | 127 | 98 | 25 | 4 |
2359 | It isn’t all rainbows and...what’s the word I’m looking for? | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2360 | Almost looks real, doesn't it? | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2361 | I bagged this in Central Park, near the Carousel | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2362 | Well, it’s no longer her little pony. | 1.2598 | 0.04638 | 127 | 99 | 23 | 5 |
2363 | Endangered? It’s fictitious! | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2364 | I guess I'll go with the one on the right. The one in the middle reminds me a little too much of my urologist. | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2365 | It's a.. uh, rare goat. | 1.2598 | 0.04771 | 127 | 100 | 21 | 6 |
2366 | Shooting them is easy — the hard part’s finding a virgin in this day and age to serve as bait. | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2367 | They must have been running pretty fast to come crashing through the wall like that! | 1.2598 | 0.04215 | 127 | 96 | 29 | 2 |
2368 | It's a palomino I bagged with a waffle cone to the forehead. | 1.2598 | 0.04900 | 127 | 101 | 19 | 7 |
2369 | I got it at Target | 1.2598 | 0.05026 | 127 | 102 | 17 | 8 |
2370 | I bagged that one on the plains of Silicon Valley. | 1.2595 | 0.04545 | 131 | 102 | 24 | 5 |
2371 | Those goddamn Trump boys will shoot anything, I guess. | 1.2595 | 0.05035 | 131 | 106 | 16 | 9 |
2372 | If PETA gets wind of this, they’ll have my head. | 1.2595 | 0.04796 | 131 | 104 | 20 | 7 |
2373 | And this one is from the Enchanted Forest trip last year. | 1.2595 | 0.04545 | 131 | 102 | 24 | 5 |
2374 | Global warming and environmental destruction are driving even unicorns out of their habitat. | 1.2595 | 0.04414 | 131 | 101 | 26 | 4 |
2375 | It's the trophy I'd dreamed of ever since I was a kid. | 1.2595 | 0.04545 | 131 | 102 | 24 | 5 |
2376 | Just gazing at her every day reminds me to be more happy and peaceful. | 1.2595 | 0.04672 | 131 | 103 | 22 | 6 |
2377 | ...and I donated the meat to the Girl Scouts. | 1.2595 | 0.04796 | 131 | 104 | 20 | 7 |
2378 | It really draws your attention away from his inadequacies... | 1.2595 | 0.04545 | 131 | 102 | 24 | 5 |
2379 | Honestly. It was roadkill. | 1.2595 | 0.04672 | 131 | 103 | 22 | 6 |
2380 | I have to confess, I didn't shoot it. It was roadkill. | 1.2595 | 0.04796 | 131 | 104 | 20 | 7 |
2381 | I really loved the ‘60’s! | 1.2595 | 0.04672 | 131 | 103 | 22 | 6 |
2382 | Yes, indeed! Now imagine what it would be like if all those gun-control nuts had their way! | 1.2595 | 0.04917 | 131 | 105 | 18 | 8 |
2383 | Middle one's from my daughter's FAO Schwarz plush collection. It adds color to a dark hobby. | 1.2595 | 0.04672 | 131 | 103 | 22 | 6 |
2384 | It's a long story, but infortunately, it didn't have a happy ending. | 1.2595 | 0.04796 | 131 | 104 | 20 | 7 |
2385 | There may be some lingering resentment. | 1.2595 | 0.04139 | 131 | 99 | 30 | 2 |
2386 | My daughter is carrying on the family tradition. | 1.2595 | 0.04672 | 131 | 103 | 22 | 6 |
2387 | The one in the middle was the toughest to track insofar as it doesn't exist. | 1.2593 | 0.04331 | 135 | 104 | 27 | 4 |
2388 | They tell me they are quite rare! | 1.2581 | 0.04562 | 124 | 96 | 24 | 4 |
2389 | Why don't they call it a unihorn? | 1.2578 | 0.04471 | 128 | 99 | 25 | 4 |
2390 | Our thoughts and prayers are with her family. | 1.2578 | 0.04866 | 128 | 102 | 19 | 7 |
2391 | Booking that hunt was a surreal experience. | 1.2578 | 0.04606 | 128 | 100 | 23 | 5 |
2392 | I won't be a virgin much longer with this bad boy on the wall. | 1.2578 | 0.04991 | 128 | 103 | 17 | 8 |
2393 | Who knew it was endangered. Still, it looks damn good on the wall, doesn't it. | 1.2578 | 0.04471 | 128 | 99 | 25 | 4 |
2394 | I bagged that one just outside of Disneyland... | 1.2578 | 0.05113 | 128 | 104 | 15 | 9 |
2395 | It's always more satisfying when it's the last of its kind. | 1.2578 | 0.04866 | 128 | 102 | 19 | 7 |
2396 | Yeah? Well, maybe YOU'RE the one who's mythical. | 1.2578 | 0.04606 | 128 | 100 | 23 | 5 |
2397 | Apparently there was a place called Silicon Valley that bred and nursed the damned things. | 1.2578 | 0.04471 | 128 | 99 | 25 | 4 |
2398 | It's my only ante-diluvian trophy! | 1.2578 | 0.04187 | 128 | 97 | 29 | 2 |
2399 | Of course I was much younger then. | 1.2578 | 0.04606 | 128 | 100 | 23 | 5 |
2400 | And finally my greatest prize: Innocence herself. | 1.2578 | 0.04471 | 128 | 99 | 25 | 4 |
2401 | Where's Teddy Now?" "He's in Ireland hunting leprechauns. | 1.2578 | 0.04738 | 128 | 101 | 21 | 6 |
2402 | Let’s keep this one under wraps boys. You know what happens to us trophy hunting dentists. | 1.2576 | 0.04641 | 132 | 104 | 22 | 6 |
2403 | It’s all about diversity. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2404 | ... and I got this one at Disney World. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2405 | My daughter caught that one. | 1.2560 | 0.04385 | 125 | 96 | 26 | 3 |
2406 | Anything is possible on an alternate species safari. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2407 | "Apparently it''s kind of rare". | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2408 | That one's from my safari with Trump -- true story! | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2409 | You have no idea how many shrooms it took to bag this one | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2410 | My daughter never forgavae me for that one. | 1.2560 | 0.05194 | 125 | 102 | 14 | 9 |
2411 | Yes, I got it off Amazon Prime. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2412 | Pfft … Big deal. That rug you're standing on? That's Sasquatch. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2413 | I can never eat at Medieval Times again, but totally worth it. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2414 | I bagged that one on a weekend retreat at Big Sur | 1.2560 | 0.05316 | 125 | 103 | 12 | 10 |
2415 | They're captured only by virgins. My fourty year old son that lives in the basement caught it. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2416 | The Minotaur got away | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2417 | Where'd you get the permit for that? | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2418 | It's a bit gaudy, honestly. | 1.2560 | 0.04385 | 125 | 96 | 26 | 3 |
2419 | And to think, for years people didn't believe this clock existed. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2420 | It's not real | 1.2560 | 0.05194 | 125 | 102 | 14 | 9 |
2421 | Don Jr really out did himself on this one! | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2422 | I just glued it on. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2423 | I bagged this one at Startup Fantasy Camp | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2424 | I got this one in my dreams. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2425 | I was actually aiming for that raccoon that keeps getting in our trash. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2426 | My five-year-old likes to hunt. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2427 | Truth is, it was a lucky shot! | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2428 | That may have had something to do with my daughter's estrangement. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2429 | I was on safari in Xanadu with the Pope's wife when I bagged that unicorn. | 1.2560 | 0.05436 | 125 | 104 | 10 | 11 |
2430 | Contrary to legend, the unicorn could blow rainbows out its ass. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2431 | ...and we got a pint of boysenbery syrup from the liver and three-dozen licorice whips from the tail. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2432 | My bad. I thought I was shooting at a white rhino. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2433 | It was a unicorn shot: you know it could happen, but you never expected it to happen. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2434 | You should see their Bitcoin collection. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2435 | Man, did my daughter ever let me have it when I bagged that one. I had to tell her that it came from a merry-go-round. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2436 | “And, here, a trophy from my tripping safari | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2437 | These mounted animal heads suggest that our drinks are spiked. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2438 | I don't know what it is, either, but I feel lucky to have killed it. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2439 | I'm told Eric and Don Jr. had a tremendous tremendous time in Narnia. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2440 | I bagged that one on a safari in Disneyland. | 1.2560 | 0.04385 | 125 | 96 | 26 | 3 |
2441 | Of course it's real. My daughter is a virgin. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2442 | Turns out wasn’t so lucky after all | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2443 | The President's son dropped these off. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2444 | Got him off the endangered species list. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2445 | Bagged that one at Coney Island, riding the carousel. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2446 | The taxidermist gave us half off. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2447 | Bagged this one in Socialist Utopia. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2448 | Those two are entirely beside the point | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2449 | Boy did I get grief from my daughter on that one | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2450 | That one I bagged on a trip with my old school chum Timothy Leary. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2451 | I knew you guys wouldn’t believe me | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2452 | Bambi’s next. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2453 | My Little Pony wony put up a fightsy wightsy. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2454 | Gentlemen these are the finalists. I’m going with the angry unicorn to win bigly. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2455 | It wasn't on the "Endangered Species List" so I decide to bag it. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2456 | The most dangerous game is a child's imagination. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2457 | I bagged that one in my neice's playroom. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2458 | I wanted to show, both of you, that we believe our diversity is our strength. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2459 | They're indigenous to Shangri-La. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2460 | Remember when a billion dollars meant something? | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2461 | My wife was riding her on the merry -go-round. Unfortunately, I aimed low. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2462 | I shot him while he was looking at his reflection in the water. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2463 | Shot that one off a moving carousel at Disneyland last summer. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2464 | I don't think that's what your daughter meant. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2465 | I bagged that one in the wilds of my granddaughter's closet. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2466 | This is what happens when a stylist marries a taxidermist. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2467 | A very long, long time ago.... | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2468 | I shot a leprechaun too. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2469 | I swear she was charging me. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2470 | We're going for My Little Pony in the fall. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2471 | I had to fight off a centaur to bag that one. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2472 | If I had it to do over again, my friends, I’d stick to the occasional acid trip. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2473 | The day I bagged ol Buttercup here, I stopped being just a dentist...... I was a real man. “You need help Walter | 1.2560 | 0.05194 | 125 | 102 | 14 | 9 |
2474 | I was hunting big game in Silicon valley. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2475 | I took him down with a pink Super Soaker. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2476 | It was me or him. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2477 | I bagged that one on the carousel in Central Park. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2478 | My granddaughter still hasn't forgiven me. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2479 | Well, the kids were pretty upset, but man, what a magical experience. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2480 | And that, gentlemen, is what happens to start-ups that fail on me. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2481 | I got a great deal on this one. Half price since it’s only got one horn. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2482 | That's my daughter's first kill. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2483 | Do I feel guilty? Nope. In fact, I think I'm crushing it. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2484 | This one is from my Disney expedition. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2485 | My granddaughter hasn’t been back since she saw it. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2486 | It took a lot of time and money to acquire that one, but every time a child sees it and cries their eyes out, I realize it was worth it. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2487 | ...and I took this majestic beast down at my daughters 5th birthday party. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2488 | This one was like taking candy from a baby. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2489 | My first kill. I was riding the carousel, and I figured I'd never get another one. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2490 | I bagged that one at my daughters birthday party | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2491 | Believe it or not, it was easier than finding the next Uber. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2492 | This one is called Kellyanne. | 1.2560 | 0.05194 | 125 | 102 | 14 | 9 |
2493 | Of course my granddaughter hates me, but you would not believe the rush! | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2494 | It's Trump's. He wanted to be the first at something. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2495 | That one I captured at the Cloisters. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2496 | It was a fantasy come true! | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2497 | He brought them back from his “dream vacation”. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2498 | Remember my telling you about the one that didn't get away? | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2499 | Not as rare as you'd think. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2500 | The shot was easy. Finding him was the trick. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2501 | My next time I'm going for a black swan. | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2502 | White House tour guide; "...and here in the 'Trump Sons Trophy Room' we have the wild Bluebuck, the Rainbow Unicorn and the Aurochs; all extinction now." | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2503 | I had to fly to Disney World to get it. | 1.2560 | 0.05068 | 125 | 101 | 16 | 8 |
2504 | I heard these come from a place called "The Deep State". | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2505 | Beautiful specimen, but it strikes me that those eyelashes might not be real. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2506 | I bagged the antelope in Africa, the water buffalo in India, and the unicorn in the Alpha Centauri System. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2507 | Well, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies, if that's what you're asking... | 1.2560 | 0.04530 | 125 | 97 | 24 | 4 |
2508 | ... two Rice Krispies box tops and 10 bucks. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2509 | I caught it floating in my neighbor's pool. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2510 | I'm finally beyond the "just an asshole" category. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2511 | I prefer my meat rare. | 1.2560 | 0.04806 | 125 | 99 | 20 | 6 |
2512 | This one was running in circles at the Mall. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2513 | My daughter is a little upset over this one. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2514 | My daughter bagged this one at an Orlando theme park when she was twelve. We’re not allowed back. | 1.2560 | 0.04939 | 125 | 100 | 18 | 7 |
2515 | PETA protests were bad enough, but PETU are beyond belief. | 1.2558 | 0.04705 | 129 | 102 | 21 | 6 |
2516 | Well, this species doesn't actually exist. Not anymore that is. | 1.2540 | 0.04499 | 126 | 98 | 24 | 4 |
2517 | Sadly, that turned out to be my son-in-law at his daughter's birthday party. | 1.2540 | 0.05156 | 126 | 103 | 14 | 9 |
2518 | Yep, it was a dream hunt. | 1.2540 | 0.04638 | 126 | 99 | 22 | 5 |
2519 | I bagged that one on my last trip to Narnia. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2520 | She lived an alternative lifestyle. | 1.2540 | 0.04499 | 126 | 98 | 24 | 4 |
2521 | Hmm, suddenly Don Jr. doesn't look so bad... | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
2522 | That’s when I found her cheating with these two; and now … all three are mounted. | 1.2540 | 0.05156 | 126 | 103 | 14 | 9 |
2523 | My granddaughter bagged it at Six Flags. | 1.2540 | 0.05278 | 126 | 104 | 12 | 10 |
2524 | There's almost a fairy tale quality to how I bagged this one | 1.2540 | 0.04638 | 126 | 99 | 22 | 5 |
2525 | I understand that Paul, but I still don’t get how you managed to find such a magnificent antique clock on your salary. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2526 | That's nothin', back in my day, I once bagged the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and a smurf. | 1.2540 | 0.05032 | 126 | 102 | 16 | 8 |
2527 | It wasn’t an easy shot as it was sliding down that rainbow. | 1.2540 | 0.04638 | 126 | 99 | 22 | 5 |
2528 | I nailed her as she stepped out from behind a rainbow. | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
2529 | I guess they're off the endangered list. | 1.2540 | 0.04355 | 126 | 97 | 26 | 3 |
2530 | The virgin got away. | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
2531 | My wife found it at a flea market and thought of me. She calls me her "Man of Extinction". | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2532 | I got the last one! | 1.2540 | 0.04499 | 126 | 98 | 24 | 4 |
2533 | I grew tired of chasing unicorns. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2534 | Even the bull is skeptical. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2535 | I guess I got lucky | 1.2540 | 0.04638 | 126 | 99 | 22 | 5 |
2536 | I bagged that one with my imaginary gun. | 1.2540 | 0.04638 | 126 | 99 | 22 | 5 |
2537 | I got that one at a GOP rally in Arizona. | 1.2540 | 0.05156 | 126 | 103 | 14 | 9 |
2538 | I had to tell little Sarah that Buttercup ran away to a different farm. Thankfully, my taxidermist will do anything for twenty extra bucks. | 1.2540 | 0.04499 | 126 | 98 | 24 | 4 |
2539 | Wait till you see what I found when I was hunting for Easter eggs. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2540 | Hey, look there! He's shaking hands with the president in that photo. | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
2541 | I learned after this never to mix LSD and a gun. | 1.2540 | 0.04904 | 126 | 101 | 18 | 7 |
2542 | Two guys named Donald Jr. and Eric sold it to me. | 1.2540 | 0.04772 | 126 | 100 | 20 | 6 |
2543 | I always wondered what became of Twilight Sparkle. | 1.2540 | 0.04355 | 126 | 97 | 26 | 3 |
2544 | Yeah, I think it's starting to kick in. | 1.2540 | 0.05032 | 126 | 102 | 16 | 8 |
2545 | Now let's move on to the rec room and Paddington Bear. | 1.2538 | 0.04544 | 130 | 102 | 23 | 5 |
2546 | Believe it or not, I found that one in my garden one morning, eating the roses. | 1.2538 | 0.04411 | 130 | 101 | 25 | 4 |
2547 | It took a lot of hunting, but we found ours on Tinder. | 1.2538 | 0.04544 | 130 | 102 | 23 | 5 |
2548 | My daughter is a great shot! | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2549 | It's not what it looks like, I killed her with a stalactite. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2550 | And the middle one I took down during a psychotic break last fall. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2551 | Looking for the moral compass at our nation’s capital, ended up with this ... | 1.2520 | 0.04703 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
2552 | I shot it at dawn in Silicon Valley. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2553 | I bagged that one during my Timothy Leary period. | 1.2520 | 0.04410 | 123 | 95 | 25 | 3 |
2554 | Almost gored me while I was laying a trap of bacon and donuts. | 1.2520 | 0.04703 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
2555 | Sure got my money’s worth on that Fantasy Safari. | 1.2520 | 0.05239 | 123 | 101 | 13 | 9 |
2556 | It tasted a lot worse than it looks. | 1.2520 | 0.05110 | 123 | 100 | 15 | 8 |
2557 | Surprisingly, it tastes a little gamey....like CandyLand. | 1.2520 | 0.04559 | 123 | 96 | 23 | 4 |
2558 | Well it's all downhill from here. I think I might try my hand at golf. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2559 | I followed the trail of glitter until I came upon its fairy tail. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2560 | I bagged this one at Burning Man. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2561 | Don't be absurd, that's just where I like to store my waffle-cones. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2562 | So, they said, your $40,000 hunting fee will go toward preserving the species. After I shot it I found out this was the last of the species. Of course, the value has ballooned considerably. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2563 | The President must be so proud of Donald, Jr...... | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2564 | Apparently the horn can cure cancer, but I prefer here over my fireplace. | 1.2520 | 0.04703 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
2565 | I think my wife is mocking me. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2566 | ... and people said my glitter gun certification was a waste. | 1.2520 | 0.05110 | 123 | 100 | 15 | 8 |
2567 | What an asshole. | 1.2520 | 0.05365 | 123 | 102 | 11 | 10 |
2568 | Forget the hunting rifle. To bring 'em down, you need radioactive nano-pixie dust. Not contaminated with glitter, of course. | 1.2520 | 0.04703 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
2569 | You’re imagining things I only see two heads. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2570 | My daughter wondered if they were real; now she knows. | 1.2520 | 0.04703 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
2571 | Got him my second acid trip! | 1.2520 | 0.04256 | 123 | 94 | 27 | 2 |
2572 | Impressive, but it’s not My Little Pony. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2573 | I think I bagged that one at Woodstock. | 1.2520 | 0.05365 | 123 | 102 | 11 | 10 |
2574 | I found it after it missed its third round of funding. | 1.2520 | 0.04842 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2575 | I shot that one in Thurber's back yard. | 1.2520 | 0.04978 | 123 | 99 | 17 | 7 |
2576 | The hard part was finding a gun store that sold tiny magical bows and arrows. | 1.2520 | 0.04325 | 127 | 98 | 26 | 3 |
2577 | I bagged that at Woodstock in '69. | 1.2520 | 0.04605 | 127 | 100 | 22 | 5 |
2578 | Oh, I bagged that one on my LSD safari in the 60's. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2579 | Of course bagging a unicorn on Wall Street was even more satisfying. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2580 | My daughter isn’t speeking to me. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2581 | Well, who told him to offer me a wish? | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2582 | Just kidding! It's an ice cream cone. | 1.2500 | 0.04379 | 124 | 96 | 25 | 3 |
2583 | It was a dream kill. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2584 | Africa,no Amazon.com. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2585 | The rest of it went into that frappuccino. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2586 | My Little Pony. Four hour trek through suburban jungle. Toys R Us Jersey City. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2587 | I'm still hoping to add 'My Little Pony' to this collection. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2588 | It came to me in a dream. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2589 | No, I keep the original in the vault. | 1.2500 | 0.04394 | 116 | 89 | 25 | 2 |
2590 | Took this one on an acid trip. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2591 | This one was quite elusive, until the carousel stopped... | 1.2500 | 0.04308 | 120 | 92 | 26 | 2 |
2592 | We call it "My little horny." | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2593 | It's just magical, isn't it? | 1.2500 | 0.05030 | 116 | 93 | 17 | 6 |
2594 | That's what I do. Fake it until I make it. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2595 | This one has a story you won't believe. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2596 | I used to have a centaur up here too, but nobody believed it. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2597 | No, it's sort of like a Rorschach test. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2598 | I can't tell you where I bagged that one. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2599 | It was either him or me. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2600 | It's only once you're in the .0001% that you can hunt mythical species too. | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2601 | The hardest part was finding a virgin. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2602 | Simple. I thought, 'What would Trump do?' | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2603 | A dense rainbow made it an especially difficult shot... | 1.2500 | 0.04526 | 124 | 97 | 23 | 4 |
2604 | I bagged that one while on a very remote and dangerous Nigerian carousel! | 1.2500 | 0.04669 | 124 | 98 | 21 | 5 |
2605 | No, the one in the middle is a clock. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2606 | ...and the strip steaks were particularly magical. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2607 | Well, the Sasquatch wouldn't have fit the aesthetic. | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2608 | I got on a trip in the sixties using LSD | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2609 | Technically, I WAS still a virgin. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2610 | At the time, I didn't know they were endangered. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2611 | Really surprising .... like chicken-flavored cotton candy | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2612 | Now most people say it doesn't count as 'real' hunting, but let me tell you, when I was on that carousel and this guy was lunging right at me... | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2613 | It's eyes are opening....we should probably run... | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2614 | ..and this one we shot on safari at the local merry-go-round. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2615 | My daughter was only six when she bagged her first trophy. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2616 | There was glitter everywhere! | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2617 | It wouldn’t stay out of the roses. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2618 | God Bless the NRA. | 1.2500 | 0.05116 | 108 | 86 | 17 | 5 |
2619 | I added the eyelashes myself | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2620 | Bagged it on his mythical hunting trip. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2621 | I donated the rest of the body to the crazy glue factory. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2622 | My daughter hasn’t tried to argue with me since. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2623 | Oh, that's just my horse. He backed into a spear, so I had to put him down. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2624 | It Was Just A Shot In The Dark ! | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2625 | This poor bloke was actually a sports mascot. | 1.2500 | 0.05192 | 120 | 98 | 14 | 8 |
2626 | Luckily, I was still a virgin. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2627 | Her mother was a horse, her dad, a Narwhal. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2628 | I bagged it the same year the Cubs became World Series champions, something else I didn't believe could exist. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2629 | The other two I shot in America recently but this one was from a happier time. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2630 | I want to instill the love of the sport to the grandkids while they're still young. | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2631 | Snagged that one at the merry-go-round. They still talk about it. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2632 | Yep, killed it with kindness. | 1.2500 | 0.05320 | 116 | 95 | 13 | 8 |
2633 | This particular one didn't play well on Facebook at the time. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2634 | I tracked this one for miles after it left my granddaughter’s birthday party. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2635 | Doesn't look like it's worth a billion, does it? | 1.2500 | 0.04835 | 128 | 103 | 18 | 7 |
2636 | It makes you respect the majesty of nature, doesn’t it? | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2637 | Well, have you ever been to Nebraska? | 1.2500 | 0.04379 | 124 | 96 | 25 | 3 |
2638 | My daughter shot this one. | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2639 | My daughter has never forgiven me. | 1.2500 | 0.05056 | 120 | 97 | 16 | 7 |
2640 | A little double-sided tape and hot glue... boom... a zebra. | 1.2500 | 0.05326 | 120 | 99 | 12 | 9 |
2641 | My daughter, Becky, shot this one. She's a lobbyist for the NRA now days. | 1.2500 | 0.04142 | 120 | 91 | 28 | 1 |
2642 | Yes, it is a unique horn. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2643 | I thought it was a glitter gun. | 1.2500 | 0.05192 | 120 | 98 | 14 | 8 |
2644 | They were never going to raise enough to save the carousel. I got there first and saved these fine trophies! | 1.2480 | 0.04906 | 125 | 101 | 17 | 7 |
2645 | I was trying to shoot a My Little Pony but he’ll have to do. | 1.2480 | 0.04636 | 125 | 99 | 21 | 5 |
2646 | Maybe I misunderstood when it said "take me home". | 1.2480 | 0.04636 | 125 | 99 | 21 | 5 |
2647 | It's actually a horse our neighbor dressed up for young Malcom's birthday party, but it adds a bit of mystery to the trophy wall, don't you think? | 1.2480 | 0.04773 | 125 | 100 | 19 | 6 |
2648 | With only one left, the extinction is not technically on me. | 1.2480 | 0.04636 | 125 | 99 | 21 | 5 |
2649 | The hunt for this one was magical. | 1.2480 | 0.04495 | 125 | 98 | 23 | 4 |
2650 | I thought trophy hunting was illegal at Coachella | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2651 | Who's up for a game of ring toss? | 1.2479 | 0.04588 | 121 | 95 | 22 | 4 |
2652 | Not as magical in this position. | 1.2479 | 0.04588 | 121 | 95 | 22 | 4 |
2653 | So I said, "honey, if you don't bring your grades up, there will be consequences." | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2654 | Guess what we're having for dinner? | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2655 | What a unique horn! | 1.2479 | 0.05018 | 121 | 98 | 16 | 7 |
2656 | To kill something so rare was magical. | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2657 | This is a classic example of one-point perspective. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2658 | I got that one on a trip to Fantasyland. | 1.2479 | 0.04588 | 121 | 95 | 22 | 4 |
2659 | I bagged this one as he was trying to blend in at a carousel | 1.2479 | 0.04588 | 121 | 95 | 22 | 4 |
2660 | We use the leprechaun as a paperweight. | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2661 | Ernest Hemingway never hunted a unicorn in his life. | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2662 | Why do you ask? | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2663 | I made on my 3D printer. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2664 | I caught him with Fruit Loops. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2665 | The second head is at the EPA offices! | 1.2479 | 0.05153 | 121 | 99 | 14 | 8 |
2666 | Who knew the taste would be so gamey | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2667 | I used to cherish our father-daughter hunting trips. | 1.2479 | 0.04277 | 121 | 93 | 26 | 2 |
2668 | I bagged this one in the 60's when I was living in the Village. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2669 | My taxidermist charged double to keep this one quiet. Absolutely worth it. | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2670 | It’s not endangered, I keep it perfectly safe here. | 1.2479 | 0.05018 | 121 | 98 | 16 | 7 |
2671 | Extremely rare and maddeningly elusive, but tastes like horsemeat. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2672 | I value the middle one the most - speaking metaphorically. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2673 | Where’s the button that makes it sing? | 1.2479 | 0.05018 | 121 | 98 | 16 | 7 |
2674 | Shot that in Washington--anything can happen there these days. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2675 | I still don't believe his story. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2676 | Nothing's fake anymore. My daughter thinks he's real. | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2677 | This one makes up for me missing Bambi. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2678 | I think you are taking diversity too far, old pal. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2679 | This one offered me a wish before I shot it. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2680 | Actually, the biggest challenge was convincing it I was a virgin. | 1.2479 | 0.05018 | 121 | 98 | 16 | 7 |
2681 | Yes, I did shoot this right before the 2016 presidential election. Why do you ask? | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2682 | Well, I guess it's not technically horse meat. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2683 | No really, it’s a fake. | 1.2479 | 0.04736 | 121 | 96 | 20 | 5 |
2684 | Yep, she was one of a kind. | 1.2479 | 0.04588 | 121 | 95 | 22 | 4 |
2685 | Well, this one took a little imagination... | 1.2479 | 0.04435 | 121 | 94 | 24 | 3 |
2686 | College days. Hunting trip with my future father-in-law. First and last time I dropped acid. | 1.2479 | 0.04879 | 121 | 97 | 18 | 6 |
2687 | Isn't it gorgeous? Only 27.99 on Amazon with Prime. | 1.2479 | 0.04991 | 117 | 94 | 17 | 6 |
2688 | Ah yes, she had the best merry-go-round | 1.2460 | 0.04739 | 126 | 101 | 19 | 6 |
2689 | He encountered a virgin | 1.2460 | 0.05000 | 126 | 103 | 15 | 8 |
2690 | The legends say you need to be a virgin to find one, so I used my son as bait. | 1.2460 | 0.04463 | 126 | 99 | 23 | 4 |
2691 | He does have a point. | 1.2459 | 0.04555 | 122 | 96 | 22 | 4 |
2692 | It's nice Greg, but this isn't the kind of unicorn hunting I had in mind. | 1.2459 | 0.04555 | 122 | 96 | 22 | 4 |
2693 | I got the last one! | 1.2459 | 0.04701 | 122 | 97 | 20 | 5 |
2694 | Those were the days when difference was more acceptable. | 1.2459 | 0.04843 | 122 | 98 | 18 | 6 |
2695 | They're lucky creatures, aren't they? Unicorns.... | 1.2459 | 0.04843 | 122 | 98 | 18 | 6 |
2696 | Took him down at Disney World with my bare hands and a chain saw. | 1.2459 | 0.04701 | 122 | 97 | 20 | 5 |
2697 | Got that one at my granddaughter's birthday party. | 1.2459 | 0.04701 | 122 | 97 | 20 | 5 |
2698 | The trick is to bag one before they become endangered. | 1.2459 | 0.04701 | 122 | 97 | 20 | 5 |
2699 | It was his last wish. Pretty progressive for a black stallion if you ask me. | 1.2458 | 0.04652 | 118 | 93 | 21 | 4 |
2700 | so then it says "what's the point?" | 1.2458 | 0.05238 | 118 | 97 | 13 | 8 |
2701 | At least I didn't take a picture of myself laying on it naked. | 1.2458 | 0.04953 | 118 | 95 | 17 | 6 |
2702 | Yeah... Turns out that the horn is fake. | 1.2458 | 0.04652 | 118 | 93 | 21 | 4 |
2703 | Now this trip was a dream | 1.2458 | 0.04953 | 118 | 95 | 17 | 6 |
2704 | Don't worry, this is only the second to last. | 1.2458 | 0.04805 | 118 | 94 | 19 | 5 |
2705 | I bagged this beauty in LA at Disney studios. | 1.2458 | 0.04805 | 118 | 94 | 19 | 5 |
2706 | Damned EPA. Endangered my ass. | 1.2458 | 0.05238 | 118 | 97 | 13 | 8 |
2707 | And they want to take away our guns! | 1.2458 | 0.04652 | 118 | 93 | 21 | 4 |