Contest #617


Cartoon

617

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “He makes us watch this fire-safety video once a year.”
  2. “The only other channel is brimstone.”
  3. “I understand this is just until the boiler gets fixed.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2018-05-20T18:49:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2018-06-10T19:05:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2018-05-28T18:49:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued June 4th & 11th, 2018
Number of captions 8154
Number of responses 895011
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 But before we head down... a short fire-safety video... 1.9780 0.01260 4097 1379 1429 1289
1 No, this is Purgatory. Hell has FOX 24/7. 1.9548 0.01183 5025 1884 1484 1657
2 I wonder if he moved that pitchfork a little left would we get better reception? 1.9031 0.01121 4832 1723 1854 1255
3 No, purgatory. In hell, it's Fox News 24/7. 1.8910 0.01235 4522 1832 1351 1339
4 It gets worse. The commercials are for air conditioning. 1.8807 0.01174 4368 1607 1675 1086
5 It's either this or the PBS pledge drive. 1.8729 0.01161 4768 1873 1628 1267
6 I didn’t know there would be an orientation video. 1.8625 0.01598 2299 854 907 538
7 It's not really eternal - if you watch closely it's a forty-five minute loop. 1.8586 0.01535 2454 907 987 560
8 I hear the 1% get real fire... 1.8513 0.01190 4540 1846 1523 1171
9 This is boring as hell. 1.8421 0.01358 3369 1355 1191 823
10 No, only the Catholics have real flames. We’re all Episcopalians. 1.8412 0.01134 4793 1917 1720 1156
11 Is it wrong to say you look hot? 1.8350 0.01583 2503 1025 866 612
12 He wants to make Hell great again. 1.8328 0.02652 909 379 303 227
13 Good news! If this were hell, they'd be showing Fox News. 1.8326 0.01674 2264 939 765 560
14 This is it? Well, I'll be damned! 1.8287 0.01334 3491 1434 1221 836
15 I guess it didn't really matter if I had on clean underwear after all. 1.8278 0.01203 4379 1830 1473 1076
16 No, you ask him to change the channel. 1.8203 0.01165 4379 1766 1634 979
17 They've been making due with this ever since the place froze over in 2016. 1.8164 0.01286 4117 1849 1175 1093
18 One channel, one show, no remote, welcome to hell! 1.8090 0.01366 3262 1364 1157 741
19 So this is ironic... last week I was standing next to a fire and watching naked people on TV. 1.8082 0.01196 4415 1898 1466 1051
20 It's a live feed from the White House. 1.7947 0.01697 2314 1057 675 582
21 It gets worse. In February they start showing reruns of The Apprentice. 1.7853 0.01459 2879 1257 983 639
22 Sometimes he changes the channel to Hannity 1.7832 0.02414 1033 447 363 223
23 We only get two stations. Fire and Brimstone. 1.7765 0.01225 3982 1734 1404 844
24 Did you give to the Trump campaign, too? 1.7760 0.01507 2821 1290 873 658
25 We're all Congressional staff. White House is two circles down. 1.7720 0.01281 3825 1735 1227 863
26 The last thing I remember was accepting a White House appointment. 1.7680 0.01306 3689 1687 1171 831
27 666 channels and nothing is on. 1.7604 0.02333 1156 535 363 258
28 So this is hell - a 15-inch screen, rabbit ears and no clicker! 1.7463 0.01607 2235 1000 802 433
29 The cable guy said he'd be here between now and eternity. 1.7452 0.01428 3010 1405 967 638
30 Well the ride in the hand basket was fun 1.7410 0.01342 3402 1597 1089 716
31 In heaven they have flat screens. 1.7361 0.02105 1296 588 462 246
32 Wow, turns out stealing cable IS a big deal. 1.7323 0.01679 2021 918 726 377
33 I can never tell the news from the weather. 1.7265 0.01481 2581 1180 927 474
34 ...and then, when he said, 'You have a choice: It's either the flames of hell, or Fox News', well, that was a no-brainer. 1.7258 0.01352 3479 1714 1005 760
35 Hell hath no cable. 1.7202 0.02321 1090 515 365 210
36 Wish I hadn't pulled the tag off our mattress. 1.7125 0.01519 2619 1276 820 523
37 In heaven they have flat screens. 1.7021 0.01584 2189 1024 793 372
38 The irony is that I'm here for stealing cable. 1.6938 0.01322 3246 1569 1102 575
39 And after this, we have to watch 14 seasons of The Apprentice. 1.6872 0.01395 3130 1595 919 616
40 So, you're a lawyer too? 1.6869 0.01391 3005 1491 964 550
41 There sure are a lot of white people down here! 1.6843 0.01731 2027 1036 595 396
42 666 channels and nothing to watch. 1.6819 0.01393 2968 1476 960 532
43 The Bible made this sound a lot worse. 1.6749 0.01547 2227 1073 805 349
44 When I first got here, we could only listen to the fire on the radio. 1.6737 0.01548 2409 1216 763 430
45 I really hate it when they give everything away in the previews. 1.6711 0.06204 149 75 48 26
46 At least it's a dry heat. 1.6709 0.02463 951 482 300 169
47 This is purgatory. Down there, they show reruns of The Apprentice. 1.6701 0.01824 1767 907 536 324
48 It's either this or the PBS pledge drive. 1.6700 0.01458 2706 1372 855 479
49 Nine circles of hell, and we get stuck in the one without cable. 1.6606 0.01578 2201 1103 742 356
50 Yes, but its a dry heat. 1.6588 0.01549 2339 1191 755 393
51 Do we really need a 24 hour weather station down here? 1.6507 0.01588 2276 1189 693 394
52 If one more person says, “At least it’s not FOX.”.... 1.6428 0.01787 1786 942 540 304
53 This training video is taking an eternity. 1.6403 0.01770 1793 942 554 297
54 The Devil Wears Nada. 1.6399 0.02070 1430 788 369 273
55 I'd sell my soul for Netflix right now....oh wait.... 1.6344 0.02143 1231 655 371 205
56 "And it only plays Fox news". 1.6342 0.02311 1110 606 304 200
57 Hey, at least it's not Hannity. 1.6284 0.02461 923 493 280 150
58 Do you believe he can make Hell great again? 1.6240 0.02009 1476 821 389 266
59 He makes us watch this fire safety video once a year. 1.6215 0.01986 1424 771 421 232
60 No, we're in Purgatory. This is just a trailer. 1.6212 0.01951 1407 744 452 211
61 Cool! They have Hell-To-Pay-Per-View. 1.6193 0.02613 830 453 240 137
62 Yes, but its a dry heat. 1.6182 0.02031 1349 731 402 216
63 Back in the old days we had real fire. 1.6174 0.02496 839 441 278 120
64 This orientation video is taking forever. 1.6172 0.02065 1335 733 380 222
65 I've seen this episode before. It doesn't end well. 1.6143 0.02586 783 414 257 112
66 Yes, I'm sure we're in hell--black and white, no cable, one channel, and no remote. 1.6141 0.02120 1275 706 355 214
67 It becomes hell when they switch to Trump's press conference. 1.6133 0.02135 1262 701 348 213
68 On the plus side, there's no ads. 1.6124 0.02420 841 433 301 107
69 I'd kill again for a recliner. 1.6123 0.02146 1189 645 360 184
70 In the 9th circle, I hear it's just "Hannity" on a loop. 1.6106 0.02232 1207 689 299 219
71 It's the weather report. 1.6087 0.02191 1168 645 335 188
72 There's only one channel, but liberals see Fox, and conservatives see MSNBC. 1.6083 0.02240 1177 668 302 207
73 I don't understand...all I did was vote for Donald Trump. 1.6078 0.02286 1160 668 279 213
74 Yeah, it's hot, but I've heard the second season is even hotter. 1.6076 0.02100 1157 611 389 157
75 It’s pretty much just this and Hannity. 1.6076 0.02271 1157 661 289 207
76 He's trying to reduce his carbon footprint. 1.6055 0.02823 697 385 202 110
77 I think the only way to get through this is to imagine everybody with their clothes on. 1.6040 0.02164 1106 592 360 154
78 False idols. And you? 1.6015 0.02211 1064 573 342 149
79 One channel and no remote? This is really Hell. 1.6002 0.02266 1053 579 316 158
80 At least it's not Fox News. 1.5992 0.02380 1033 592 263 178
81 So television really is the tool of the devil 1.5960 0.02397 990 562 266 162
82 These timeshares are always a scam. 1.5937 0.03270 507 282 149 76
83 The only programming we get down here is Fox News and the eternal fire. We leave it on the fire. 1.5928 0.02482 948 548 238 162
84 If I’d known that this is all it amounts to, I would’ve killed your mother right off the bat. 1.5919 0.02506 941 548 229 164
85 I knew we shouldn't have removed the mattress tag. 1.5916 0.02459 928 527 253 148
86 Is this it or are we in the waiting room? 1.5908 0.02556 782 425 252 105
87 Well, what do you know. It turns out that Hell was fake news! 1.5905 0.02469 928 530 248 150
88 Well, I'll be damned! 1.5905 0.02489 923 530 241 152
89 Do you dare me to tell him we’ll get better reception if he raises that pitchfork a bit? 1.5879 0.02482 859 477 259 123
90 They use to show us FOX News, but even they thought that was cruel and unusual punishment. 1.5876 0.02563 890 519 219 152
91 It's hotter in HD. 1.5855 0.02480 825 451 265 109
92 Dante would be so embarrassed. 1.5840 0.02551 851 486 233 132
93 We've done it this way since it froze over. 1.5828 0.02585 839 483 223 133
94 What’s the point of a fire-safety video? 1.5822 0.02572 833 476 229 128
95 Boy I hate these workplace training videos. 1.5806 0.02583 763 421 241 101
96 Of course, everyone has the option to upgrade to Premium Hell. 1.5801 0.02542 805 449 245 111
97 Typical. 9 Circles of Hell and nothing on. 1.5771 0.02592 785 443 231 111
98 The Devil Wears Nada. 1.5750 0.02784 767 460 173 134
99 We’re waiting for Sarah Huckabee Sanders to take the podium. 1.5733 0.02765 750 443 184 123
100 This is just the weather channel. If you complain, they send you down to watch political coverage. 1.5722 0.02805 741 442 174 125
101 Orientation videos are a waste of time. 1.5682 0.02685 704 396 216 92
102 I hate being the devil's advocate, but I am kind of chilly. 1.5667 0.02628 697 384 231 82
103 Is that Morgan Freeman's voice? 1.5665 0.02796 692 402 188 102
104 You expected real flames? There are way too many lawyers down here for that kind of liability! 1.5653 0.02770 681 390 197 94
105 We only get local stations 1.5647 0.02789 680 392 192 96
106 I’ll be damned. Hell really is having 500 channels with nothing worth watching. 1.5618 0.02814 655 376 190 89
107 With all the Comcast employees down here, you'd think we'd get better reception. 1.5594 0.02916 640 377 168 95
108 I understand this is just until the boiler gets fixed. 1.5594 0.02770 640 360 202 78
109 Another scorcher tomorrow. 1.5565 0.02901 620 360 175 85
110 On the bright side, half the people here are from the cable company. 1.5559 0.02992 617 368 155 94
111 They said we’d only need to listen to the talk for an hour before we had full access to the resort. 1.5548 0.02934 611 357 169 85
112 When they really want to punish us, they switch it to White House press conferences. 1.5539 0.02992 603 357 158 88
113 Before we get started please observe a short video which will help you discover that there is no nearest exit. 1.5539 0.02927 603 350 172 81
114 I don't know about you, but standing naked with a bunch of strangers while watching the news go up in flames is not my worst day. 1.5537 0.02824 605 341 193 71
115 I guess the Devil wears nada. 1.5532 0.03042 602 362 147 93
116 I knew if we voted for him we'd all go to hell. 1.5522 0.03101 603 370 133 100
117 The Meet Up Group read, 'hot, nude, adult entertainment.' I think I had something else in mind. 1.5522 0.02932 594 344 172 78
118 The picture looks like hell. 1.5518 0.03057 589 353 147 89
119 We're literally in virtual hell. 1.5513 0.02986 575 334 165 76
120 These welcome videos take an eternity. 1.5504 0.02957 585 340 168 77
121 I can’t believe we all used to work at the White House. 1.5500 0.03056 580 346 149 85
122 This is just a commercial. Hannity's next. 1.5485 0.03130 567 343 137 87
123 I always took it as hyperbole when customers used to say there is a certain place in hell for people who run cable companies. 1.5483 0.03072 569 339 148 82
124 The only other channel is brimstone. 1.5477 0.03002 566 330 162 74
125 Ever the optimist, Carl pointed out that they were dressed perfectly for the climate. 1.5471 0.02961 563 324 170 69
126 At least it’s not the Kardashians. 1.5464 0.03048 560 330 154 76
127 He keeps it tuned to world news to show us how good we have it down here. 1.5464 0.03048 560 330 154 76
128 Break’s over. Ten years of Fox News coming up. 1.5459 0.03254 555 346 115 94
129 Get ready everybody, He’s on his way to make Hell great again. 1.5459 0.03204 555 341 125 89
130 It only plays Fox News. 1.5453 0.03278 552 346 111 95
131 Hell! Another rerun! 1.5441 0.03084 544 321 150 73
132 I knew it would be bad, but I never dared imagine rabbit ears. 1.5440 0.02975 546 313 169 64
133 It's still better than Fox news 1.5428 0.03144 538 322 140 76
134 Ironically, I’m here for watching videos of naked people. 1.5421 0.03113 535 317 146 72
135 Cheer up. One level below us all they have to watch is Hannity. 1.5414 0.03237 532 326 124 82
136 I hear heaven has a flat-screen. 1.5414 0.03126 532 316 144 72
137 Apparently it's better for the environment. 1.5395 0.03079 519 302 154 63
138 Is this your first Trump rally? 1.5395 0.03423 519 332 94 93
139 I bet they have a flat screen in heaven. 1.5393 0.03118 521 307 147 67
140 Jerry Falwell was wrong about a lot if things. 1.5388 0.03177 516 308 138 70
141 Turns out, there is a special place for all who ignored the final PBS pledge drive. 1.5388 0.03247 516 314 126 76
142 A crowd gathers to watch the ever-popular "Face The dam-Nation." 1.5373 0.03194 510 305 136 69
143 Maybe if he turned his trident a skosh to the left? 1.5373 0.03170 510 303 140 67
144 That's why they call it Hell. We only get Fox News here. 1.5373 0.03289 510 313 120 77
145 I'd sell my soul for the remote. Again. 1.5368 0.03153 503 296 144 63
146 It only plays Fox News. 1.5365 0.03280 507 310 122 75
147 This orientation is taking an eternity. 1.5346 0.03128 492 286 149 57
148 The other channel is Fox News. 1.5344 0.03408 494 310 104 80
149 One day you're working for Fox News and then suddenly.... 1.5343 0.03349 496 307 113 76
150 It's all fake news since hell froze over. 1.5328 0.03490 488 312 92 84
151 I’m really not supposed to be here, I’m an agnostic. 1.5320 0.03216 485 288 136 61
152 There's no remote. What else do you need to know about Hell? 1.5312 0.03255 480 287 131 62
153 At least there are no pledge drives... 1.5312 0.03187 480 282 141 57
154 These overflow rooms never really capture the mood. 1.5304 0.03243 477 284 133 60
155 What did I miss? 1.5304 0.03270 477 286 129 62
156 Somehow, it never seems real until you see it on TV. 1.5298 0.03299 453 268 130 55
157 Not so bad. I thought we’d have to watch Fox. 1.5289 0.03405 467 288 111 68
158 At least it's not tuned to Fox News. 1.5280 0.03326 464 280 123 61
159 Didn't think I would be staring at a screen all day down here too. 1.5280 0.03284 464 277 129 58
160 Guess who owns the media. 1.5272 0.03311 459 275 126 58
161 I expected fire and brimstone, but never fake news. 1.5253 0.03245 455 268 135 52
162 Fox News: Giving hope to the damned since 2016. 1.5237 0.03446 443 272 110 61
163 At least he doesn't make us watch Sean Hannity. 1.5237 0.03505 443 276 102 65
164 He's trying to reduce his carbon footprint. 1.5236 0.03536 445 280 97 68
165 I hate orientation. 1.5235 0.03257 447 263 134 50
166 If this is really hell they'd be showing 'Apprentice' reruns. 1.5235 0.03495 447 279 102 66
167 It's just not the same as being there. 1.5235 0.03408 447 273 114 60
168 Yep, every channel. 1.5226 0.03331 442 264 125 53
169 You'd think with the corporate tax cuts they could afford a flat screen down here. 1.5206 0.03458 436 268 109 59
170 So far, it's just been 4,000 years of waiting for the cable guy. 1.5198 0.03517 429 266 103 60
171 Oh look, FOX news. 1.5197 0.03625 431 275 88 68
172 If I’m being honest, this is actually one of the better orientation videos I’ve seen. But then again ... being honest isnt really my thing. 1.5197 0.03363 431 258 122 51
173 I suppose this means we're not going to get internet down here either. 1.5189 0.03321 424 250 128 46
174 Well, the training video seems relatively straightforward. 1.5188 0.03360 426 254 123 49
175 We’re singe watching. 1.5177 0.03524 423 262 103 58
176 Nothing's ever on, but I hear we're getting Cosby soon. 1.5177 0.03410 423 255 117 51
177 That reminds me - did you turn off the stove? 1.5177 0.03377 423 253 121 49
178 Great, another time share presentation that will last an eternity. 1.5172 0.03356 435 262 121 52
179 I thought there’d be more tattoos. 1.5167 0.03491 418 256 108 54
180 I didn’t think there’d be an orientation. 1.5167 0.03424 418 252 116 50
181 Showing a safety video before we enter seems like overkill. 1.5157 0.03443 415 251 114 50
182 We get 187 channels. But they're all Fox News. 1.5157 0.03672 415 265 86 64
183 Fox 24-7 and no remote. 1.5157 0.03624 415 262 92 61
184 It could be worse - at least we're not on the phone with the cable company. 1.5157 0.03322 415 244 128 43
185 It's just like everything else these days - instead of actually burning in hell, you experience it on reality T.V. 1.5157 0.03322 415 244 128 43
186 Season five seems like it goes on for eternity. 1.5147 0.03487 408 248 110 50
187 The guy with the pitchfork has the remote, but try getting it from him. 1.5146 0.03352 410 242 125 43
188 Have you noticed that no one here has a tattoo? 1.5146 0.03508 410 251 107 52
189 Before the cutbacks the flames were real. 1.5135 0.03579 407 253 99 55
190 Well, I was right. Hell IS watching Fox News. 1.5125 0.03712 400 255 85 60
191 I'm more bothered than I am hot. 1.5124 0.03383 402 238 122 42
192 Is this your first Trump rally? 1.5113 0.03685 399 253 88 58
193 Eternal damnation I can handle, but no cable is just plain cruel. 1.5113 0.03546 399 245 104 50
194 Oh No. Not the pledge drive again. 1.5102 0.03701 392 248 88 56
195 God IS merciful! I thought I was going to have to watch Trump. 1.5102 0.03719 392 249 86 57
196 I was the president's former press secretary. What are you in here for? 1.5090 0.03666 387 242 93 52
197 If I knew there was no cable, I would have led a better life. 1.5090 0.03573 387 237 103 47
198 I used to make orientation videos like this. Now I see why I'm down here. 1.5090 0.03615 389 241 98 50
199 We only get the weather channel. 1.5090 0.03527 391 238 107 46
200 It’s what we get for watching Fox. 1.5078 0.03727 386 245 86 55
201 If this is all they've got, we might as well get back to sinning. 1.5065 0.03601 383 236 100 47
202 Apparently, that’s the forecast for the rest of eternity. 1.5065 0.03466 383 229 114 40
203 Brimstone is on after this 1.5065 0.03620 383 237 98 48
204 First time at Burning Man? 1.5065 0.03620 383 237 98 48
205 How ironic. Lots of nudity, but no cable. 1.5053 0.03709 376 236 90 50
206 When the sponsor break is over, it goes back to Fox News. 1.5053 0.03785 376 240 82 54
207 I know, it really feels like you're there. 1.5053 0.03559 378 230 105 43
208 You think this is bad, wait until he switches to the news. 1.5053 0.03637 378 234 97 47
209 I told you it was one of those timeshare scams. 1.5040 0.03629 371 228 99 44
210 It's not the same as being there. 1.5040 0.03713 373 234 90 49
211 No, it's not the orientation video...This IS Hell... 1.5040 0.03520 375 226 109 40
212 It’s the fork! Perfect picture everytime he stands there. 1.5040 0.03830 375 242 77 56
213 I guess we all thought hot singles in your area meant something very different. 1.5040 0.03625 377 233 98 46
214 I'm actually good with this. You know upstairs they are watching Sean Hannity. 1.5027 0.03766 366 231 86 49
215 Great, another "fireside chat." 1.5014 0.03647 363 223 98 42
216 This is the 8th circle. In the 9th circle you have to deal with the cable company. 1.5014 0.03750 363 228 88 47
217 No remote, no cable, and just one local station? I'll be damned. 1.5014 0.03911 365 238 71 56
218 So you voted for him too huh... 1.5014 0.03892 365 237 73 55
219 According to the orientation video, it’s a dry heat. 1.5000 0.03533 358 214 109 35
220 I bet you never thought you'd miss your cable company. 1.5000 0.03438 362 213 117 32
221 I know we lied, but setting our pants on fire seems petty. 1.4986 0.03692 357 221 94 42
222 Looks like another day of record temperatures. 1.4986 0.03649 357 219 98 40
223 This or Fox News, your choice. 1.4986 0.03892 353 227 76 50
224 Brimstone comes on after this. 1.4972 0.03779 354 223 86 45
225 At least we're not watching the Kardashians for eternity. 1.4972 0.03838 352 224 81 47
226 Everyone's relieved when they first arrive, but after it a while it gets to be as boring as hell. 1.4972 0.03731 352 219 91 42
227 I bet the One Percenters get to burn in HD. 1.4972 0.03817 352 223 83 46
228 The hottest places in Hell are now reserved for Congress, so it's standing room only in the waiting lounge. 1.4972 0.03709 352 218 93 41
229 Is anyone else a little cold? 1.4957 0.03733 349 217 91 41
230 And next month it's 'The Apprentice'. 1.4957 0.03777 349 219 87 43
231 This really isn't my idea of "Making Hell Great Again". 1.4957 0.03682 347 213 96 38
232 I don’t know why we even bother. The 7-day forecast has not changed in forever. 1.4957 0.03771 347 217 88 42
233 Great, another one of his crappy home movies... 1.4942 0.03796 344 216 86 42
234 Spoiler alert. 1.4942 0.03862 344 219 80 45
235 Here, we only get flames. For Fox News, you need to go down more levels. 1.4942 0.04096 344 230 58 56
236 This is a commercial. Otherwise it's Fox News, 24 /7. 1.4941 0.03760 340 211 90 39
237 With all the billionaires down here, you'd think they'd spring for a plasma. 1.4941 0.03760 340 211 90 39
238 No, the TRULY damned are in the real hell. We're VIRTUALLY damned. 1.4941 0.03919 340 218 76 46
239 The regular guy is out sick, so we're just watching a video today. 1.4926 0.03698 339 208 95 36
240 It's a repeat. 1.4925 0.03963 335 216 73 46
241 I’ve seen this one. Everyone dies in the end. 1.4910 0.03857 334 211 82 41
242 Better reception than I expected. 1.4910 0.03607 332 199 103 30
243 It will be a cold day in hell before we get cable down here. 1.4910 0.03779 332 206 89 37
244 Who the hell voted for the weather channel? 1.4909 0.03747 330 203 92 35
245 It could be worse, I hear in the next Circle down they have to watch Fox News! 1.4894 0.03812 331 207 86 38
246 This is just the preview for us new arrivals. In real Hell he makes you watch Fox News. 1.4894 0.04022 331 216 68 47
247 That's it? I should have had more fun. 1.4894 0.03883 331 210 80 41
248 I expected fire and brimstone, but “FOX and Friends” is overkill. 1.4893 0.03966 327 210 74 43
249 Don’t you think we can skip the instructional video? We all know why we are here. 1.4877 0.03705 326 199 95 32
250 The only other option was Fox News. 1.4877 0.03952 326 209 75 42
251 Look on the bright side—it's not PowerPoint. 1.4877 0.03830 326 204 85 37
252 I think the book is better. 1.4877 0.03904 326 207 79 40
253 These cooking shows are all the same. 1.4877 0.03806 326 203 87 36
254 No, it's just the orientation video. 1.4877 0.03855 326 205 83 38
255 Could be worse. Could be FOX News. 1.4877 0.04089 324 213 64 47
256 There are certain advantages to being in the overflow section. 1.4876 0.03764 322 198 91 33
257 They usually just make us watch Fox News. 1.4876 0.04224 322 217 53 52
258 I hear in Heaven they get Netflix. 1.4858 0.03961 317 202 76 39
259 Purgatory isn’t that bad, in Hell they have commercials. 1.4858 0.03911 317 200 80 37
260 He’s reducing his carbon footprint. 1.4842 0.03868 316 198 83 35
261 It used to be a loop of Trump's inauguration. 1.4842 0.03945 316 201 77 38
262 Make Hell Great Again 1.4842 0.04021 316 204 71 41
263 The real torture is that they hide the batteries for the remote 1.4842 0.03627 316 189 101 26
264 I think you're hot. 1.4840 0.03851 312 194 85 33
265 "You're fired" takes on a whole new meaning here, huh? 1.4821 0.03951 307 194 78 35
266 The cable guy's supposed to be here sometime between 8am and eternity. 1.4821 0.04084 307 199 68 40
267 That’s the point; there is no remote. 1.4821 0.03924 307 193 80 34
268 If the Bible had said there would be no remote for the TV, I'd have been in church every Sunday. 1.4821 0.03701 307 185 96 26
269 We've been ordered to watch re-runs of "The Apprentice". 1.4803 0.03841 304 188 86 30
270 I hate these timeshare presentations. 1.4785 0.04070 303 196 69 38
271 The First Circle gets cable. 1.4785 0.03878 303 189 83 31
272 Fox canceled it, but Hell picked it up for another season. 1.4785 0.03906 303 190 81 32
273 I thought the devil wore Prada. 1.4785 0.04097 303 197 67 39
274 Who has the remote? 1.4784 0.04064 301 194 70 37
275 Do you find the laugh track a little creepy? 1.4784 0.03953 301 190 78 33
276 The channel changer is in heaven. 1.4765 0.04230 298 198 58 42
277 One channel? This IS hell. 1.4765 0.04010 298 190 74 34
278 Could be worse. In the next circle they have to watch Fox News. 1.4762 0.04191 294 193 62 39
279 Its a shame fox is the only channel down here 1.4762 0.04301 294 197 54 43
280 I could have done without the orientation video. 1.4762 0.03934 294 184 80 30
281 If we're good, they let us watch the White House Press briefing. 1.4762 0.03993 294 186 76 32
282 It’s been a century, would it kill him to change it to the smoldering ember channel? 1.4762 0.04022 294 187 74 33
283 This is the orientation video. 1.4762 0.04022 294 187 74 33
284 For good intentions. You? 1.4746 0.04097 295 191 68 36
285 I thought the book was scarier. 1.4744 0.03914 293 183 81 29
286 You're lucky, he used to do a PowerPoint. 1.4744 0.04060 293 188 71 34
287 At least it won’t carry ads for erectile disfunction. 1.4744 0.04118 293 190 67 36
288 If you wanted cable, you should have led a better life. 1.4744 0.03914 293 183 81 29
289 I never thought I'd find myself praying for commercial breaks. 1.4740 0.03892 289 179 83 27
290 It's amazing we still get Fox News down here. 1.4740 0.04102 289 186 69 34
291 And that's the weather forecast forever. 1.4740 0.04102 289 186 69 34
292 I'm actually relieved. I thought we’d be watching cable news. 1.4740 0.03953 289 181 79 29
293 I saw this one before. It does not end well. 1.4740 0.03861 289 178 85 26
294 You can tell it's Fake Hell. If it were Real Hell, Fox News would be on tv. 1.4740 0.04302 289 193 55 41
295 Before the budget cuts we used to have real flames. 1.4722 0.04112 288 186 68 34
296 Told you they wouldn't have cable. 1.4718 0.03972 284 178 78 28
297 Black and white? This really is damnation. 1.4718 0.03844 284 174 86 24
298 The actual fire just made everyone uncomfortable. 1.4718 0.04034 284 180 74 30
299 I bet heaven gets cable. 1.4718 0.04125 284 183 68 33
300 He's worried about his carbon footprint 1.4700 0.04284 283 188 57 38
301 This is just the commercial. Fox News will be back in a minute. 1.4700 0.04075 283 181 71 31
302 If you think this fire safety video is out of date just wait until you see the sexual harassment orientation 1.4700 0.03981 283 178 77 28
303 If you wanted high def, you should have been a better person. 1.4700 0.03918 283 176 81 26
304 What kind of sin do you have to commit to get a real fire? 1.4700 0.03981 283 178 77 28
305 I’m amazed at the reception we get down here. 1.4700 0.04044 283 180 73 30
306 With so many lawyers here, HR insist on these health and safety videos. 1.4698 0.04188 281 183 64 34
307 You think this is hell? Wait until the pledge breaks every ten minutes. 1.4698 0.04157 281 182 66 33
308 Is it hot in here, or is it just you? 1.4698 0.04157 281 182 66 33
309 At least the Weather Channel is more accurate down here. 1.4695 0.03990 279 175 77 27
310 He's really been working on lowering his carbon footprint. 1.4674 0.04044 261 162 76 23
311 At least it's a break from Fox News. 1.4674 0.04118 276 177 69 30
312 The brochure promised it would be someplace really warm with clothing optional. 1.4672 0.03941 274 170 80 24
313 One channel and only a 27 inch screen? This is Hell! 1.4672 0.04108 274 175 70 29
314 It's a nice break from Fox News. 1.4672 0.04451 274 186 48 40
315 The only thing worse than Hell is watching re-runs of Hell. 1.4672 0.04042 274 173 74 27
316 You can ask, but I think this is the only channel they get. 1.4669 0.04227 272 177 63 32
317 Look on the bright side - at least its not the golf channel. 1.4669 0.04227 272 177 63 32
318 It’s an effort to reduce greenhouse gases... 1.4661 0.06100 118 74 33 11
319 Even Dante couldn't have imagined this circle of hell: no digital, no remote, and a single channel. 1.4649 0.04040 271 171 74 26
320 We're toast! 1.4647 0.04196 269 174 65 30
321 At Christmas, they put a yule log on. 1.4647 0.04229 269 175 63 31
322 I should have been suspicious when he promised I’d even get to spend eternity with an old flame. 1.4647 0.04261 269 176 61 32
323 So who is going to ask if we can change the channel? 1.4644 0.04014 267 167 76 24
324 This can't be Hell, there's no commercials. 1.4644 0.03943 267 165 80 22
325 This would be hell, but for the nudity. 1.4627 0.04273 268 176 60 32
326 Who the Hell's got the remote? 1.4624 0.04128 266 170 69 27
327 I agree, checking the weather before getting dressed makes sense. 1.4624 0.03988 266 166 77 23
328 I wish we could watch something besides the weather channel 1.4624 0.04059 266 168 73 25
329 The 'Shopping Network' comes on at 5. That's when the torture really begins. 1.4621 0.04116 264 168 70 26
330 Rumor has it the ninth circle is watching Trump on FOX twenty-four seven. 1.4618 0.04345 262 173 57 32
331 It froze over after the election. 1.4618 0.04345 262 173 57 32
332 It's just the opening graphics. Bill O'Reilly will be on in 60 seconds. 1.4618 0.04312 262 172 59 31
333 Welcome to the White House! 1.4618 0.04345 262 173 57 32
334 You're hot. 1.4612 0.04345 245 158 61 26
335 Wish they would hurry up with the orientation, I’m freezing out here. 1.4609 0.04245 256 165 64 27
336 I'm not sure this orientation video is necessary. 1.4598 0.04289 261 171 60 30
337 It's the same forecast everyday---hotter than hell. 1.4595 0.04279 259 169 61 29
338 It’s true, we only get FOX down here. 1.4595 0.04416 259 173 53 33
339 It's the Trump Channel, welcome to Hell. 1.4595 0.04313 259 170 59 30
340 The new fall line-up looks really hot. 1.4595 0.03797 259 156 87 16
341 I thought virtual hell was just an expression. 1.4595 0.04136 259 165 69 25
342 No cable, no flat screen ... this is hell. 1.4595 0.04279 259 169 61 29
343 The weather channel again? 1.4595 0.04172 259 166 67 26
344 I can't believe they're making us sit through previews for an eternity 1.4595 0.04172 259 166 67 26
345 It looks like freezing over is off the table. 1.4595 0.04243 259 168 63 28
346 How long have you been on the Republican campaign? 1.4595 0.04243 259 168 63 28
347 I told you Hell would be watching Fox all day. 1.4591 0.04510 257 174 48 35
348 Thank you for coming to hell. We hope you enjoy this informative preview of eternity. 1.4591 0.04338 257 169 58 30
349 I swear to God, if he shows us one more home movie— 1.4591 0.04373 257 170 56 31
350 I hear the next circle down watches "Hannity." 1.4574 0.04462 258 174 50 34
351 Personally, I'm in heaven right now. The reception here is way better than in my old apartment. 1.4570 0.03905 256 157 81 18
352 Of course there's only one channel--it's hell. 1.4570 0.04279 256 167 61 28
353 The brilliant part is that we each still get a cable bill. 1.4570 0.04243 256 166 63 27
354 He's in a good mood today. Usually, we have to watch C-SPAN. 1.4570 0.04315 256 168 59 29
355 The Democrats in the catacomb next door have to watch Fox News. 1.4570 0.04350 256 169 57 30
356 On Christmas we get to watch the yule log. 1.4567 0.04340 254 167 58 29
357 The repair guy gave us a window of noon to eternity. 1.4563 0.04292 252 164 61 27
358 The other channel runs political ads. 1.4563 0.04437 252 168 53 31
359 Art imitates afterlife. 1.4563 0.04365 252 166 57 29
360 When lunch break is over they turn it back to Fox News. 1.4563 0.04543 252 171 47 34
361 If we smack it on the side, do you think could get snow? 1.4563 0.04255 252 163 63 26
362 666 channels, and still nothing good on. 1.4563 0.04543 252 171 47 34
363 For a guy, not having the remote is really the most painful part... 1.4563 0.04255 252 163 63 26
364 This is hell, there is no remote. 1.4542 0.04229 251 162 64 25
365 Thank god they changed the channel, I really needed a break from all the bad news. 1.4542 0.04266 251 163 62 26
366 Maybe if we all peed at once.., 1.4542 0.04485 251 169 50 32
367 Hell of a show. 1.4542 0.04377 251 166 56 29
368 After the on-boarding video, I hear it's a continuous loop of Sean Hannity. 1.4538 0.04440 249 166 53 30
369 You think this is bad. Wait 'til he switches to "Hannity." 1.4538 0.04476 249 167 51 31
370 Did you work for Comcast too? 1.4538 0.04476 249 167 51 31
371 This reminds me of your 50th birthday, most of your friends are here too. 1.4534 0.04041 247 154 74 19
372 Wanna cool off? I've got a picture of water back at my place. 1.4534 0.04041 247 154 74 19
373 Oh, I've seen this inferno thousands of times; it goes on and on for, like, ever. 1.4534 0.04121 247 156 70 21
374 They call it Hell-a-vision. 1.4534 0.04392 247 163 56 28
375 What in Hell are we watching? 1.4534 0.04429 247 164 54 29
376 Fox & Friends will return after a brief word from our sponsor. 1.4534 0.04647 247 170 42 35
377 Sure, it's hot. But it's a dry heat. 1.4531 0.04342 245 160 59 26
378 I always figured hell’s cable would be set to Fox News 1.4531 0.04380 245 161 57 27
379 It's black and white and only three channels. Channel 6 FIRE, 66 BRIMSTONE, 666 FOX NEWS 1.4531 0.04640 245 168 43 34
380 At least we don't have to watch Fox and Friends. 1.4531 0.04419 245 162 55 28
381 If you think this is painful, wait until you see the commercials. 1.4508 0.04276 244 158 62 24
382 So what brings you here? 1.4508 0.04276 244 158 62 24
383 They call it Fox & Friends. 1.4508 0.04506 244 164 50 30
384 Trust me, just keep pretending you are really hot. It beats the alternative. 1.4505 0.06493 91 56 29 6
385 Thank God I remembered my glasses. 1.4504 0.04341 242 158 59 25
386 It’s either this or FOX. 1.4504 0.04496 242 162 51 29
387 I feel naked without my iPhone. 1.4504 0.04380 242 159 57 26
388 Shhh... The President is about to welcome us to Trump University Post Graduate School. 1.4504 0.04458 242 161 53 28
389 I hear in Purgatory they get cable. 1.4504 0.04221 242 155 65 22
390 Sorry, this is the only place that would host the 2020 Republican Convention. 1.4504 0.04609 242 165 45 32
391 One TV, no cable - this really is hell 1.4504 0.04180 242 154 67 21
392 I knew it, 'hell' is watching reality TV. 1.4504 0.04496 242 162 51 29
393 I had a feeling watching Fox News would be mandatory here. 1.4504 0.04646 242 166 43 33
394 I don't get too close because the radiation from those old TV sets can kill you. 1.4504 0.04341 242 158 59 25
395 It could be worse; the next circle down is the all Kardashian channel 1.4500 0.04446 240 159 54 27
396 The lawyers in the next room say a real fire is too much liability. 1.4500 0.04287 240 155 62 23
397 It’s the Christmas music that really gets to me. 1.4493 0.04592 227 151 50 26
398 He says we'll get a flat screen when heaven freezes over. 1.4481 0.04313 241 157 60 24
399 It only gets two channels ... this and Fox News. 1.4477 0.04459 239 159 53 27
400 I so hate orientation videos. 1.4477 0.04216 239 153 65 21
401 I hear season 2 is even hotter 1.4477 0.04498 239 160 51 28
402 I hear that he's out of brimstone, too. 1.4477 0.04298 239 155 61 23
403 The worst part is we still have to pay for the bundled phone service. 1.4477 0.04216 239 153 65 21
404 I know you're all disappointed, but we're making the switch to a more sustainable method of eternal damnation. 1.4477 0.04379 239 157 57 25
405 He just hasn't been the same since hell froze over. 1.4477 0.04379 239 157 57 25
406 Quit complaining, at least its not Fox News 1.4468 0.04555 235 158 49 28
407 And now, back to 'The Apprentice' 1.4468 0.04595 235 159 47 29
408 This is the part where he says, “You’re fired” 1.4468 0.04595 235 159 47 29
409 Yeah, it's been like this since we ran out of fossil fuels for the brimstone. 1.4468 0.04515 235 157 51 27
410 Ironically, it's the Yule Log. 1.4468 0.04474 235 156 53 26
411 You think this is bad? This time last week I was at Mar-a-Lago. 1.4464 0.04461 233 154 54 25
412 So, this is Trump TV. 1.4464 0.04584 233 157 48 28
413 We got naked for this? 1.4464 0.04419 233 153 56 24
414 Do you have any plans after the show? 1.4464 0.04461 233 154 54 25
415 I always hate the coming attractions. 1.4464 0.04335 233 151 60 22
416 I thought it would be a little more hands on. 1.4464 0.04205 233 148 66 19
417 I voted for Jill Stein in Michigan. Why are you here? 1.4440 0.04597 232 157 47 28
418 Hell, I hate reality TV. 1.4440 0.04474 232 154 53 25
419 Welcome to the United States Immigration Process. 1.4435 0.04460 230 152 54 24
420 “Naked and Afraid” is quite popular here. 1.4435 0.04330 230 149 60 21
421 " Has to be better than a Sarah Huckleberry Sanders News / Press Conference". 1.4435 0.04627 230 156 46 28
422 Spoiler Alert: It doesn't get better. 1.4435 0.04460 230 152 54 24
423 So, probably no wifi either... 1.4430 0.04313 228 147 61 20
424 I would’ve been more diligent if I’d known eternity was without cable. 1.4430 0.04313 228 147 61 20
425 We’ll have a real one when Trump gets here. 1.4430 0.04820 228 159 37 32
426 It's not the worst timeshare presentation I've been to. 1.4430 0.04445 228 150 55 23
427 Are all the TVs tuned to Fox? 1.4409 0.04826 220 152 39 29
428 I'm going to get some popcorn and forbidden fruit juice, you want anything? 1.4405 0.04279 227 146 62 19
429 He's had to give up using fossil fuels. 1.4405 0.04544 227 152 50 25
430 The only channel we can get is Fox. 1.4405 0.04754 227 157 40 30
431 This is just the warm up. 1.4405 0.04369 227 148 58 21
432 I'm just relieved that it's not Fox News 1.4405 0.04458 227 150 54 23
433 Great. We finally get a TV down here and he leaves it set on the Yule log channel. 1.4405 0.04629 227 154 46 27
434 C'mon, rabbit ears? I really am in Hell. 1.4405 0.04501 227 151 52 24
435 Oh, Hell. Eternal reruns. 1.4405 0.04671 227 155 44 28
436 a nice fire, enjoying it in the nude----this must be heaven. 1.4405 0.04458 227 150 54 23
437 I hate when the previews give everything away. 1.4405 0.04234 227 145 64 18
438 At least it's not a White House press briefing. 1.4405 0.04544 227 152 50 25
439 When we get to the next layer, they read us his tweets. 1.4405 0.04587 227 153 48 26
440 What! No cable! Oh hell! 1.4405 0.04458 227 150 54 23
441 Wait til the millennials get here and don't know what horizontal hold is. 1.4400 0.04530 225 150 51 24
442 Heeeyyy ... the women have breasts but none of the men have penises! This MUST be Hell! 1.4400 0.04530 225 150 51 24
443 Well, at least it's not "Roseanne". 1.4395 0.04734 223 153 42 28
444 "I'm going to Korea" he said. "What could go wrong" he said... 1.4395 0.04560 223 149 50 24
445 This does seem pretty severe for using my neighbors Netflix account. 1.4395 0.04470 223 147 54 22
446 Why do we even bother watching the weather channel? 1.4395 0.04515 223 148 52 23
447 This orientation video is so boring. I wish they'd just let us in. 1.4389 0.04590 221 148 49 24
448 He calls it reality TV. 1.4389 0.04590 221 148 49 24
449 Considering where we are, I would have expected Fox and Friends. 1.4389 0.04766 221 152 41 28
450 666 channels and nothin' on. 1.4389 0.04407 221 144 57 20
451 What’d I miss. 1.4389 0.04499 221 146 53 22
452 Coming attractions. 1.4364 0.04420 220 144 56 20
453 If I had known there was no cable, I would have been a better person. 1.4364 0.04558 220 147 50 23
454 And we still have to pay $149 a month for it. 1.4364 0.04420 220 144 56 20
455 What are you doing after orientation? 1.4358 0.04400 218 142 57 19
456 Hannity's up next! 1.4358 0.04680 218 148 45 25
457 Six hundred and sixty-six channels and nothing on 1.4358 0.04769 218 150 41 27
458 If I knew this was it, I would have cheated on my wife and my taxes. 1.4358 0.04589 218 146 49 23
459 The damned today are so detached from perdition. Back in the day, we had to stand IN the flames. 1.4358 0.04634 218 147 47 24
460 Apparently new regulations force them to show us this instructional video before they get to the actual burning. 1.4358 0.04448 218 143 55 20
461 I hear the Fifth Circle has a flat screen. 1.4352 0.04666 216 146 46 24
462 Has anyone tried changing the channel? 1.4352 0.04380 216 140 58 18
463 Wow. Looks like we left Earth just in time. 1.4352 0.04619 216 145 48 23
464 We're in hell's the remote? 1.4352 0.04666 216 146 46 24
465 I heard that in the seventh circle, they have it tuned to Fox News. 1.4352 0.04757 216 148 42 26
466 No cable and it’s black and white. This place is worse than I thought. 1.4352 0.04477 216 142 54 20
467 I heard the people upstairs have Netflix. 1.4352 0.04572 216 144 50 22
468 I honestly thought it would be warmer. 1.4352 0.04525 216 143 52 21
469 And you said there was no way in hell anybody could cancel Comcast. 1.4352 0.04666 216 146 46 24
470 I hate reality shows. 1.4352 0.04525 216 143 52 21
471 You think this is torture? It's just the screensaver before Fox News comes on. 1.4352 0.04666 216 146 46 24
472 You'd think the the first circle would have better reception. 1.4352 0.04331 216 139 60 17
473 I expected no hope, not no cable. 1.4346 0.04836 214 148 39 27
474 Whoa! I didn't know The New Yorker could show boobs. 1.4346 0.04790 214 147 41 26
475 Hot and naked? I think I've died and gone to heaven. 1.4346 0.04507 214 141 53 20
476 Since they outsourced hell, the punishment hasn't been the same. 1.4346 0.04603 214 143 49 22
477 At least it's a dry heat. 1.4346 0.04507 214 141 53 20
478 Safety video. Oh he's good. 1.4346 0.04555 214 142 51 21
479 I was worried it would be tuned to Fox News. 1.4346 0.04790 214 147 41 26
480 This is it? No clothes. No cable. 1.4346 0.04507 214 141 53 20
481 You would think the Prince of Darkness could afford a flat screen. 1.4338 0.04617 219 148 47 24
482 It's a prequel to Dante. 1.4319 0.04520 213 141 52 20
483 I would have lived a better life if I knew there was no cable 1.4319 0.04759 213 146 42 25
484 I guess in this case ending up in the overflow room isn't so bad. 1.4319 0.04421 213 139 56 18
485 Is it just me, or does it seem like this show lasts for an eternity? 1.4319 0.04520 213 141 52 20
486 He won't get cable—something about Comcast being too evil. 1.4319 0.04805 213 147 40 26
487 'No cable? Yes, we are in hell' 1.4319 0.04520 213 141 52 20
488 I should have guessed the first abomination of hell would be an orientation video. 1.4319 0.04805 213 147 40 26
489 I was dying to see this show. Now I’m not so sure. 1.4319 0.04520 213 141 52 20
490 I like it better on screen than in person... 1.4319 0.04569 213 142 50 21
491 I'm just thankful this is my last orientation meeting ever. 1.4313 0.04600 211 141 49 21
492 The rules for these White House press briefings have become humiliating. 1.4313 0.05022 211 150 31 30
493 Yes, we’ve been waiting forever for the cable guy to get here. 1.4313 0.04885 211 147 37 27
494 I knew I’d run into some old flames down here but this is ridiculous. 1.4313 0.04450 211 138 55 18
495 I hear heaven has HD and flat screens. 1.4313 0.04600 211 141 49 21
496 He says this is the largest audience, period. 1.4313 0.04551 211 140 51 20
497 Welcome to Heck. 1.4313 0.04649 211 142 47 22
498 ...and every day from 6 to 9 he makes us stand here and watch Fox News. 1.4313 0.04600 211 141 49 21
499 Forecast calls for flame. 1.4313 0.04450 211 138 55 18
500 I didn’t see seasons one through six-thousand, but it’s surprisingly easy to follow. 1.4313 0.04697 211 143 45 23
501 We're reducing our carbon footprint. 1.4306 0.04581 209 139 50 20
502 It froze over. 1.4306 0.04826 209 144 40 25
503 A black and white portable with rabbit ears! Welcome to hell. 1.4306 0.04826 209 144 40 25
504 It's a closed circuit feed. The main room is full. Not that I'm complaining. 1.4306 0.04581 209 139 50 20
505 For real? The Weather Channel. 1.4306 0.04480 209 137 54 18
506 Breaking News: Global warming is not fake news. 1.4306 0.04873 209 145 38 26
507 Coincidentally, I think I'm here because of a night a lot like this one. 1.4300 0.04812 207 142 41 24
508 The book's better. 1.4300 0.04562 207 137 51 19
509 All they play down here is election coverage. 1.4300 0.04458 207 135 55 17
510 Whatever you do, don't fart. 1.4300 0.04613 207 138 49 20
511 It was this or The 700 Club. 1.4286 0.04947 210 148 34 28
512 Welcome to orientation. 1.4286 0.04712 210 143 44 23
513 I hear in the 7th circle of hell they put the flames to accordion music. 1.4272 0.04827 206 142 40 24
514 I thought there'd be more gays. 1.4272 0.04575 206 137 50 19
515 I dare you to change it to the Snow Channel 1.4272 0.04728 206 140 44 22
516 Casual Fryday. 1.4270 0.04764 185 122 47 16
517 It really doesn't compare to experiencing it live. 1.4265 0.04762 204 139 43 22
518 It feels like we’ve had to watch this for an eternity. 1.4265 0.04659 204 137 47 20
519 I’ve heard the 2nd season sucks. 1.4265 0.04812 204 140 41 23
520 Rabbit ears, really?!?! You'd think there'd be at least one cable installer down here. 1.4265 0.04711 204 138 45 21
521 In Life, I had 100s of channels to watch and no friends. Now, I have one and I'm surrounded by naked people. Despite eternal damnation, I consider this a win." 1.4265 0.04762 204 139 43 22
522 The real punishment is that there's no remote. 1.4265 0.04812 204 140 41 23
523 What did I miss? 1.4265 0.04607 204 136 49 19
524 The reception down here is surprisingly good. 1.4265 0.04607 204 136 49 19
525 He said it might not be the hell we want but it's the hell we all deserve 1.4257 0.04586 202 134 50 18
526 Too bad we can't clear this place out by yelling 'fire'. 1.4257 0.04477 202 132 54 16
527 I should have had WAY more fun up there. 1.4257 0.04796 202 138 42 22
528 Maybe Hell is not being able to change the channel. 1.4257 0.04639 202 135 48 19
529 I asked him to change the channel but all he said was “Hell, no!” 1.4250 0.04672 200 134 47 19
530 Oh no, he's making us watch another one of his crappy home videos. 1.4250 0.04508 200 131 53 16
531 Wow, I wish I'd known we were only in for virtual hell. 1.4250 0.04452 200 130 55 15
532 It only picks up local programming. 1.4249 0.04850 193 131 42 20
533 Who knew that the cable companies were owned and operated by Satan. 1.4221 0.04632 199 133 48 18
534 Rabbit ears! The Time Warner merger must have gone through. 1.4221 0.04521 199 131 52 16
535 You want HDTV? Where the Hell do yo think you are? 1.4221 0.04687 199 134 46 19
536 Is this supposed to be actual or virtual Hell? 1.4221 0.04740 199 135 44 20
537 For how much longer do you think Satan is going to make us watch this Trump press conference? 1.4221 0.04846 199 137 40 22
538 Oh I’ve seen it before, it’s the re-run from Hell. 1.4221 0.04687 199 134 46 19
539 Why did we have to get naked for this? 1.4221 0.04577 199 132 50 17
540 It's a decent adaptation but I thought the book was better. 1.4221 0.04465 199 130 54 15
541 It's just the coming attractions. 1.4221 0.04521 199 131 52 16
542 They're trying to lower their carbon footprint. 1.4221 0.04794 199 136 42 21
543 This is the waiting room. He thinks it's funny. 1.4221 0.04577 199 132 50 17
544 I hate this episode. 1.4221 0.04794 199 136 42 21
545 Trust me, it's better than live. 1.4213 0.04775 197 134 43 20
546 The Fox and Friends Marathon is next! 1.4213 0.05191 197 142 27 28
547 We used to wanna watch Fox News. Now we have to. 1.4213 0.05039 197 139 33 25
548 It will really be hell if they start showing Roseanne re-runs. 1.4213 0.05039 197 139 33 25
549 Orientation video 1.4213 0.04720 197 133 45 19
550 Hell Inc. has been ordered to reduce it's carbon footprint. 1.4213 0.04553 197 130 51 16
551 I heard this is just the warm-up--we watch Fox News for the rest of eternity. 1.4213 0.05090 197 140 31 26
552 We get to watch this whenever this place ‘freezes over. 1.4213 0.04665 197 132 47 18
553 My favorite flame is coming up next! It has a little tinge of green to it. 1.4213 0.04495 197 129 53 15
554 That's just the coming attraction. 1.4213 0.04553 197 130 51 16
555 There are a lot more white people here than I was expecting. 1.4205 0.04972 195 136 36 23
556 If I had known how backwards the TV programming and technology are down here, I would have thought twice about coveting you. 1.4205 0.04348 195 125 58 12
557 Do we have to stand through the entire orientation? 1.4205 0.04810 195 133 42 20
558 And, he's got the remote for eternity! 1.4205 0.04865 176 117 44 15
559 No, it's too late to say you believe in global warming now. 1.4200 0.04559 200 133 50 17
560 At first, Fox News was on, but then the Devil thought it was too much for him. 1.4197 0.04956 193 134 37 22
561 Honestly? Not the worst house warming party I’ve been to... 1.4197 0.04439 193 125 55 13
562 I thought I was safe. I voted for Hilary. 1.4197 0.04790 193 131 43 19
563 It'll be a cold day in hell before we get cable. 1.4197 0.04901 193 133 39 21
564 There's a special place in Hell for hogging the remote. 1.4192 0.04701 198 134 45 19
565 It's nice to have a break from the brimstone channel. 1.4192 0.04591 198 132 49 17
566 Zenith. How ironic. 1.4167 0.04748 192 130 44 18
567 Don't tell me how it ends. 1.4167 0.04632 192 128 48 16
568 It was either this or reruns of The Apprentice. 1.4167 0.04805 192 131 42 19
569 I knew it! All RERUNS! 1.4167 0.04861 192 132 40 20
570 So listen up! All that "fire and brimstone" stuff -- fake news. 1.4167 0.04972 192 134 36 22
571 Because real flames are a fire hazard. 1.4167 0.04690 192 129 46 17
572 The word is we're getting cable when hell freezes over. 1.4167 0.04632 192 128 48 16
573 Remember when you said......"it would be a cold day in hell. 1.4167 0.04632 192 128 48 16
574 Next time let ME pick the resort. 1.4161 0.05311 149 100 36 13
575 The other channel is brimstone. 1.4158 0.04955 190 132 37 21
576 I hear that in the Ninth Circle it's Fox and Friends 24-7 1.4158 0.05228 190 137 27 26
577 I brought the marshmallows. Just need to borrow his fork. 1.4158 0.04841 190 130 41 19
578 Hell froze over a while back and the reception has been terrible ever since. 1.4158 0.04841 190 130 41 19
579 Brimstone comes on next. 1.4149 0.04638 188 125 48 15
580 It gets worse. This is just orientation. 1.4149 0.04577 188 124 50 14
581 I didn't expect an orientation video. 1.4149 0.04819 188 128 42 18
582 I heard the price of real fire and brimstone has gone through the roof. 1.4149 0.04759 188 127 44 17
583 Well, at least Hannity's not on. 1.4149 0.04759 188 127 44 17
584 It's only heaven if you were Norwegian. 1.4140 0.04915 186 128 39 19
585 At least it's not Fox & Friends. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
586 These orientation videos are always so predictable. 1.4140 0.04417 186 120 55 11
587 Where's Donald? 1.4140 0.05032 186 130 35 21
588 Trump decided all the TVs have to play Fox News. 1.4140 0.04974 186 129 37 20
589 At Christmastime there's a log on the fire. 1.4140 0.04610 186 123 49 14
590 I know it's just an orientation video, but I pictured things being much more hellish. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
591 In heaven, they have flat screen tvs and cable. 1.4140 0.04855 186 127 41 18
592 Do you think God knows that Satan is using His Netflix account? 1.4122 0.05585 148 103 29 16
593 At least they let me keep my Glasses... 1.4118 0.04689 170 111 48 11
594 Isn't this Scandinavian heaven? 1.4109 0.05887 129 89 27 13
595 Whaddya say we skip the orientation and just go straight in? 1.4108 0.04687 185 124 46 15
596 Should I ask him to change the damned channel? 1.4108 0.04624 185 123 48 14
597 We got naked to watch this? 1.4108 0.04991 185 129 36 20
598 Don’t forget the camera adds 400 degrees. 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
599 I'm so glad that we can get Fox News down here. 1.4108 0.05049 185 130 34 21
600 I liked the book better. 1.4108 0.04871 185 127 40 18
601 Isn't that our old Zenith? 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
602 Don’t worry, these orientation videos always make things out to be way worse than they really are. 1.4108 0.04560 185 122 50 13
603 You come here often? 1.4108 0.04495 185 121 52 12
604 Even in Hell you can't escape the news from the White House. 1.4108 0.04991 185 129 36 20
605 The cable repair window is between 8 am and eternity. 1.4108 0.04811 185 126 42 17
606 Wait until you see the Brimstone channel! 1.4108 0.04931 185 128 38 19
607 Is it hot down here, or is it you? 1.4104 0.05115 173 120 35 18
608 Really? Virtual Hell? 1.4098 0.04847 183 125 41 17
609 It's Fox News 24-7. 1.4098 0.05320 183 133 25 25
610 Everybody naked and watching tv instead of an orgy? What kind of hell is this? 1.4098 0.04847 183 125 41 17
611 Seriously ? A review of fire safety regs for new arrivals ! 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
612 Oh, really? I worked for Fox News too! 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
613 The cable guy is scheduled to arrive between 9 a.m. and eternity. Until then, we only get public access channels. 1.4098 0.05030 183 128 35 20
614 Wait...you worked at Fox too? 1.4098 0.04909 183 126 39 18
615 Only one channel, this really is hell. 1.4098 0.04847 183 125 41 17
616 How can the heat wave be 'breaking news' every day? 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
617 Things sure have changed since Roger Ailes arrived. 1.4098 0.04460 183 119 53 11
618 Just our luck, a hemorrhoid commercial on a loop for all eternity. 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
619 I hate these mandatory HR trainings. 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
620 Welcome to the "Hell For Dummies" workshop. 1.4098 0.04785 183 124 43 16
621 I heard it's been renewed for another ten million seasons. 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
622 It could be worse.... in the 3rd Circle, they make them watch Fox News 24/7! 1.4098 0.04970 183 127 37 19
623 No! I did NOT touch your ass! 1.4088 0.04947 181 125 38 18
624 And then the Brimstones are on at 8. 1.4088 0.04885 181 124 40 17
625 He said reruns of "The Apprentice" start in half an hour. 1.4088 0.04947 181 125 38 18
626 It's a sting. The invitation said "swingers" weekend. 1.4088 0.05070 181 127 34 20
627 I dare you to change the channel 1.4088 0.04758 181 122 44 15
628 It's really hell when you don't have cable. 1.4088 0.04693 181 121 46 14
629 Heaven has cable. 1.4088 0.04947 181 125 38 18
630 I'll be damned, I always thought this is where Fox News was born. 1.4088 0.04885 181 124 40 17
631 I can't believe it's only Monday--feels like an eternity. 1.4088 0.04822 181 123 42 16
632 Be grateful; I hear in the ninth circle they make them watch THE NEWS. 1.4088 0.05009 181 126 36 19
633 Damned right this is hell. That's a Sony Trinitron from 1996. 1.4088 0.04758 181 122 44 15
634 Including my last marriage, this is my second virtual hell. 1.4088 0.04693 181 121 46 14
635 Hey, we're lucky. It's usually Fox & Friends. 1.4088 0.04885 181 124 40 17
636 I really like his devil-may-care attitude. 1.4088 0.04822 181 123 42 16
637 Analogue?! Now I know it’s hell. 1.4080 0.05091 174 121 35 18
638 He calls it singe-watching. 1.4078 0.04859 179 122 41 16
639 Analog TV and no remote? I guess you're right, we are in hell. 1.4078 0.04987 179 124 37 18
640 Reality TV...? This really is hell. 1.4078 0.04923 179 123 39 17
641 It wouldn't be hell without reruns. 1.4078 0.05049 179 125 35 19
642 I hear they have premium cable in Heaven. 1.4078 0.04923 179 123 39 17
643 My definition of hell has always been losing the remote 1.4078 0.04987 179 124 37 18
644 Welcome to Phoenix. Where are you from? 1.4078 0.05232 179 128 29 22
645 After orientation, do you want to get a drink? 1.4078 0.05172 179 127 31 21
646 'Serves us right for answering that "free vacation" robo call.' 1.4078 0.04661 179 119 47 13
647 This must be hell, I've seen this episode like a hundred times. 1.4068 0.04764 177 119 44 14
648 There's nothing but reality TV down here. 1.4068 0.04696 177 118 46 13
649 Orientation is always so awkward 1.4068 0.04558 177 116 50 11
650 ...and, thanks to relaxed EPA regulations, BRIMSTONE IS BACK! 1.4068 0.05027 177 123 36 18
651 Somehow I thought watching TV with our clothes off would be more fun. 1.4068 0.04962 177 122 38 17
652 Im hoping its fake news 1.4068 0.05027 177 123 36 18
653 Well, I always did think that whole "flames of hell" thing was allegorical. 1.4068 0.04897 177 121 40 16
654 I TOLD you not to vote for him! Welcome to hell! 1.4068 0.05027 177 123 36 18
655 You expected more than one channel? 1.4068 0.04831 177 120 42 15
656 Last week they made us watch the news. 1.4068 0.04696 177 118 46 13
657 No high-def? What the hell? 1.4068 0.04897 177 121 40 16
658 He has the remote, but God has the batteries. 1.4068 0.05027 177 123 36 18
659 Who knew they'd make you watch a video tutorial on how to suffer eternal damnation? 1.4068 0.04831 177 120 42 15
660 So, you're into fashion and high-definition cable TV. Welcome to hell. 1.4034 0.04779 176 119 43 14
661 Tomorrow's weather forecast. 1.4034 0.04642 176 117 47 12
662 Black and white. No remote. No cable. This is going to be hell. 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
663 Thank Heavens we still get the Weather Channel down here. 1.4034 0.04779 176 119 43 14
664 Welcome to a kindler, gentler Hell. 1.4034 0.04571 176 116 49 11
665 Well, we know where the remote ISN'T… 1.4034 0.04779 176 119 43 14
666 Amazing how far Trump's budget cuts are reaching. 1.4034 0.05108 176 124 33 19
667 I always thought the flames of Hell would be painful, but painfully boring might be worse. 1.4034 0.04642 176 117 47 12
668 He's getting soft ... it is usually Fox News. 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
669 It's not working. I still feel cold. 1.4034 0.04500 176 115 51 10
670 At least we don't have to watch slides from his vacation. 1.4034 0.04642 176 117 47 12
671 After seeing the Sistine chapel, this is not at all what I was expecting. 1.4034 0.04979 176 122 37 17
672 Hopefully this video will answer all your burning questions. 1.4034 0.05233 176 126 29 21
673 But in high def, you think you can feel the heat. 1.4034 0.04711 176 118 45 13
674 I feel like we’ve been watching the same show for an eternity. 1.4034 0.05044 176 123 35 18
675 The only other channel they get down here is Fox News. 1.4034 0.05171 176 125 31 20
676 Come here often ? 1.4034 0.04779 176 119 43 14
677 You're right. It is worse in Washington. 1.4034 0.04979 176 122 37 17
678 Remember how we used to see snow when the signal was bad... 1.4034 0.04278 176 112 57 7
679 I've seen this show before, believe me it doesn't end well. 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
680 Sean Hannity must be on vacation. 1.4034 0.05171 176 125 31 20
681 It's his new show 'As the World Burns'. It's the hottest thing on Hellavision. 1.4023 0.04817 174 118 42 14
682 Do you think this was shot on location? 1.4023 0.04885 174 119 40 15
683 These old TVs, they only get local stations. 1.4023 0.04953 174 120 38 16
684 At least we don’t have to hear about Trump’s tweets anymore 1.4023 0.05085 174 122 34 18
685 It's a repeat. 1.4023 0.05019 174 121 36 17
686 Ugh, another time share presentation. 1.4023 0.04953 174 120 38 16
687 I hope the torture isn’t as medieval as the technology. 1.4015 0.05623 137 95 29 13
688 At least it’s not Hannity. 1.4012 0.05127 172 121 33 18
689 Christmas he changes it to the Yule Log Show. 1.4012 0.04855 172 117 41 14
690 A black and white Zenith with rabbit ears and no remote! What more hell can we endure? 1.4012 0.05060 172 120 35 17
691 The Devil does not wear Prada - welcome to reality TV 1.4012 0.04993 172 119 37 16
692 I hear the coffee's still room temperature 1.4012 0.04491 172 112 51 9
693 Spoiler alert: it gets worse 1.4012 0.04855 172 117 41 14
694 This show seems like an eternity. 1.4012 0.04784 172 116 43 13
695 Don't worry. It is fake news! 1.4012 0.04924 172 118 39 15
696 Have you seen the remote? 1.4012 0.04993 172 119 37 16
697 You would think he could afford cable. 1.4012 0.04640 172 114 47 11
698 The first class assholes get rooms with real fire. 1.4012 0.04993 172 119 37 16
699 This isn't so bad. I'm actually kind of glad I killed my mother-in-law now. 1.4012 0.05060 172 120 35 17
700 TV is fine, but it doesn't really capture the live experience, does it? 1.4012 0.04784 172 116 43 13
701 Rabbit ears. We really are damned. 1.4012 0.05193 172 122 31 19
702 It's not eternal... it's just a loop. 1.4012 0.04491 172 112 51 9
703 And he lets us stay up as late as we want. 1.4000 0.04675 170 113 46 11
704 Eh, the book was better 1.4000 0.04675 170 113 46 11
705 Glad we made it out of the US... 1.4000 0.05102 170 119 34 17
706 It doesn't have quite the same effect, but I hear he's saving a fortune on gas. 1.4000 0.04749 170 114 44 12
707 I love this scene. 1.4000 0.04822 170 115 42 13
708 I TOLD you Fox news was going to burn in hell. 1.4000 0.05237 170 121 30 19
709 Black and white! Tube! Rabbit ears! Is there no end to their cruelty? 1.3988 0.04969 173 120 37 16
710 Rabbit ears and analog. We really ARE in Hell! 1.3988 0.04933 168 115 39 14
711 Don't blame me. I voted for Hillary. 1.3988 0.05349 168 121 27 20
712 Ive seen this one. 1.3988 0.05076 168 117 35 16
713 All we ever get is the Fireplace Channel. 1.3988 0.05214 168 119 31 18
714 We must be in the overflow room. 1.3988 0.05005 168 116 37 15
715 Turns out the only actual burning down here is the chlamydia. 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
716 I would have been a better person if I knew I’d be stuck watching standard definition for eternity. 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
717 Another orientation video? You've got to be kidding me. 1.3952 0.04726 167 112 44 11
718 It’s still better than ‘Keeping Up With The Karashians’. 1.3952 0.05302 167 120 28 19
719 I guess we're all about to feel the burn. 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
720 The only other channel is Fox News. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
721 I never thought I would miss ads for hemorrhoid cream. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
722 Don't worry. The camera adds 100 degrees. 1.3952 0.04950 167 115 38 14
723 I love movie night. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
724 It was either this or reruns of The Apprentice. 1.3952 0.05302 167 120 28 19
725 Hey, turns out there really is a special place in hell for people who spoil movies! 1.3952 0.05022 167 116 36 15
726 I can’t believe we have to watch a safety video first. 1.3952 0.05022 167 116 36 15
727 The devil just said, "What you see on the screen is virtual hell. The real hell is other people." 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
728 I guess they were right. There is a special place in Hell for TV Satellite executives. 1.3952 0.05022 167 116 36 15
729 At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I'm a little disappointed. 1.3952 0.04726 167 112 44 11
730 What's puzzling me is the nature of his game. 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
731 Damn it! I've seen this one. 1.3952 0.04571 167 110 48 9
732 Welcome, contestants, to the final season of "Survivor'. 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
733 Why does he always get to choose the channel? 1.3952 0.04802 167 113 42 12
734 I knew Hell would be a timeshare presentation. 1.3952 0.05502 167 123 22 22
735 Seriously, the overflow room? The old TV, the crowding. It's all going in my Yelp review. 1.3952 0.05022 167 116 36 15
736 And the phones are rotary. 1.3952 0.04802 167 113 42 12
737 No cable, no high-definition, no big screen, no remote. This is hell. 1.3952 0.05302 167 120 28 19
738 Fancy seeing an old flame here. 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
739 Watching the fireplace channel for eternity may be hell, but it sure beats watching Trump. 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
740 I know his art films seem bad, but trust me, his poetry is the real torture. 1.3952 0.04726 167 112 44 11
741 The first season was better. 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
742 Wait, everyone here was a Nielsen family? Small world, isn't it! 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
743 Could be worse. I heard Circle Nine only gets Fox News. 1.3939 0.05348 165 119 27 19
744 It kinda takes the fun out of all of us being naked. 1.3939 0.05348 165 119 27 19
745 It’s okay, I guess. I just wish it was more like the book. 1.3939 0.04840 165 112 41 12
746 Isn't this a rerun? 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
747 Rabbit ear antenna, we must be in Hell! 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
748 Network TV and Rabbit Ears! This Is Hell! 1.3939 0.05208 165 117 31 17
749 I hate reality TV. 1.3939 0.05278 165 118 29 18
750 Only one channel? This is Hell! 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
751 Shortest orientation I've ever seen 1.3935 0.05298 155 109 31 15
752 I didn't think hell would be so... ironic. 1.3926 0.05181 163 115 32 16
753 The program is okay but nobody can act to save their soul. 1.3926 0.05181 163 115 32 16
754 This is a rerun, the real fire went out centuries ago. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
755 No wonder this Airbnb was so cheap. 1.3926 0.05253 163 116 30 17
756 It may cost me an eternity, but I still say, "The book was better". 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
757 Well I’ll be damned... Rabbit Ears! 1.3926 0.05253 163 116 30 17
758 I think it's a rerun. 1.3926 0.04722 163 109 44 10
759 Looks like they have Comcast down here, too. 1.3926 0.05181 163 115 32 16
760 It's worse than I imagined! No color, no sound, no cable. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
761 It's fake news — that's all we get down here. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
762 Hi, I'm Phil. I like to think of myself as a devil may care sort of guy. 1.3926 0.04879 163 111 40 12
763 I murdered my entire family for this? 1.3926 0.05253 163 116 30 17
764 I can take the heat, but these White House press conferences are murder. 1.3926 0.05395 163 118 26 19
765 I agree, pledge week is torture. 1.3926 0.04879 163 111 40 12
766 I got burned on a similar time-share two years ago. 1.3916 0.04892 166 114 39 13
767 On Tuesdays we get reruns of 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo'. 1.3913 0.05226 161 114 31 16
768 I sure hope that’s just a TV Yule log !! 1.3913 0.05585 161 119 21 21
769 This is not how I pictured it. 1.3913 0.04759 161 108 43 10
770 So, it really is just other people. 1.3913 0.05300 161 115 29 17
771 Travelogs always make the place look way better then it is. 1.3913 0.05075 161 112 35 14
772 We're okay. You can tell this is only Purgatory. No advertisements. 1.3913 0.05151 161 113 33 15
773 Due to budget cuts you must watch Hell instead of living in it 1.3913 0.04920 161 110 39 12
774 When I said those fireplace videos were my version of Hell I didn't think anyone was listening. 1.3913 0.04920 161 110 39 12
775 It's The Sean Hannity Show. 24/7 for Eternity. 1.3913 0.05444 161 117 25 19
776 Brimstone is not nearly as frightening in black-and-white. 1.3913 0.04920 161 110 39 12
777 I missed last week’s episode; what happened? 1.3913 0.05075 161 112 35 14
778 we're in analog hell... 1.3913 0.05372 161 116 27 18
779 This is the hellfire...Hannity's on at 9:00 for the brimstone. 1.3913 0.04840 161 109 41 11
780 That damn pitchfork is screwing up the reception 1.3913 0.04759 161 108 43 10
781 Limited channels, but excellent reception. 1.3913 0.04998 161 111 37 13
782 To be fair it’s his first film, but I agree it’s a little obvious. 1.3913 0.04920 161 110 39 12
783 What do you say we slip out for a cold one? 1.3913 0.04998 161 111 37 13
784 At least in purgatory we had high definition. 1.3902 0.04454 164 107 50 7
785 Well, I'll be damned --- the cooking channel! 1.3899 0.04961 159 109 38 12
786 Yes, in fact I did play the devil's advocate...I was an attorney for Donald Trump. 1.3899 0.05040 159 110 36 13
787 They say this is the birthplace of reality TV. 1.3899 0.05347 159 114 28 17
788 The screen-saver from Hell 1.3899 0.05196 159 112 32 15
789 Rabbit ears and a CRT? What kind of a hell-hole is this anyways? 1.3899 0.04961 159 109 38 12
790 Damn. Another infernal commercial. 1.3899 0.05196 159 112 32 15
791 You were a co-host of 'Fox and Friends,' too? 1.3899 0.05347 159 114 28 17
792 For $19.95 a month, you get 666 channels. 1.3899 0.05040 159 110 36 13
793 I guess this is the origin of that fireplace log video. 1.3899 0.05040 159 110 36 13
794 The Weather Report says it will be hot as hell tomorrow 1.3899 0.05196 159 112 32 15
795 It's pretty much the same forecast every day. 1.3899 0.04629 159 105 46 8
796 They say the camera adds 10 degrees 1.3899 0.05040 159 110 36 13
797 You must be new here, we haven't had real fire since 2013. Now we just stream Netflix and and chill. 1.3899 0.04961 159 109 38 12
798 I hear in heaven they're watching The Ten Commandments. 1.3899 0.05272 159 113 30 16
799 I know this is important, but I wonder if you're busy later. 1.3899 0.04798 159 107 42 10
800 They’ve lost some of the ambiance, but it’s much better for air quality. 1.3893 0.05793 131 93 25 13
801 They do switch to Hannity at 10. 1.3885 0.04921 157 107 39 11
802 I'm sorry. That really was my hand. 1.3885 0.05242 157 111 31 15
803 Look on the bright side, it could be Fox News. 1.3885 0.04921 157 107 39 11
804 I gotta say the reception down here is better than I expected... 1.3885 0.04752 157 105 43 9
805 If you wanted cable, you would have had to lead a much better life. 1.3885 0.04921 157 107 39 11
806 Cutbacks. 1.3885 0.04921 157 107 39 11
807 I heard that, in the 5th circle, they let you watch the flames from an app on your phone. 1.3885 0.04921 157 107 39 11
808 I don't want a timeshare either, but we don't get the buffet tickets until after the presentation. 1.3885 0.05084 157 109 35 13
809 ..I thought this would be a more immersive experience. 1.3875 0.04855 160 109 40 11
810 At least the news is the same down here. 1.3875 0.04855 160 109 40 11
811 I get the whole eternal damnation thing, but does Satan really need to hog the remote? 1.3865 0.05173 163 116 31 16
812 It's hell when he controls the remote 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
813 How did I know that they would only get FOX news? 1.3861 0.05515 158 116 23 19
814 I hate reality programming. 1.3853 0.06101 109 76 24 9
815 The real torture? He keeps repeating that "hell-evision" joke. 1.3851 0.05066 161 113 34 14
816 It’s better than watching Fox. 1.3846 0.05339 156 112 28 16
817 Since Hell froze over on November 8, 2016, there are only fake flames. 1.3846 0.05492 156 114 24 18
818 Now that it's frozen over, do you think they'll give us coats? 1.3846 0.04678 156 104 44 8
819 I bet in heaven it's a flat screen. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
820 I love movie night. 1.3846 0.04936 156 107 38 11
821 An analog TV and only one channel? These guys are damned good at this Hell thing. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
822 Rabbit ears? This MUST be Hell. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
823 Apparently the only other channel is Fox News. 1.3846 0.05339 156 112 28 16
824 I'm going to ask him if we can put the game on, just this once. 1.3846 0.05101 156 109 34 13
825 I didn't sin as much as I did just to end up watching shitty tv. 1.3846 0.05101 156 109 34 13
826 Welcome to hell for millenials! 1.3846 0.05339 156 112 28 16
827 Thank God. We are finally free of all the Religious nut jobs. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
828 At least there are no commercials. 1.3846 0.05020 156 108 36 12
829 At least now I know why they let me keep my glasses. 1.3846 0.05020 156 108 36 12
830 At least it's commercial-free. 1.3846 0.05020 156 108 36 12
831 Having to watch Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway for Eternity....Why do you think they call this HELL 1.3846 0.05416 156 113 26 17
832 On Tuesdays we get to watch paint dry. 1.3846 0.04852 156 106 40 10
833 That concludes the orientation. Please exit on the left into the flames, and remember: don't swim in the lake of fire after eating. 1.3841 0.05277 138 95 33 10
834 I heard the book's better 1.3831 0.05388 154 111 27 16
835 I bet they have a flat screen in heaven. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
836 You know what's worse? The remote's missing. 1.3831 0.04978 154 106 37 11
837 Well, at least it's not reruns of "The Apprentice" 1.3831 0.04978 154 106 37 11
838 This is hell - analog tv with no remote! 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
839 Have I missed anything? 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
840 Due to funding cuts, eternal torment has been outsourced to Capita. 1.3831 0.04716 154 103 43 8
841 I hate documentaries. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
842 It's just a preview of coming attractions. 1.3831 0.04805 154 104 41 9
843 Why are waiting room televisions always tuned to Fox News? 1.3831 0.05466 154 112 25 17
844 Hell is apparently now on earth, so they are providing us with video. 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
845 Hannity's coming on. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
846 Doesn't he know this would be more evil on Facebook live-stream? 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
847 The commercials are worse. 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
848 It appears we're in Hell's green room 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
849 Yes, it's PBS. But, it could have been reruns of The Apprentice! 1.3831 0.04978 154 106 37 11
850 Ugh, I've seen this safety video a thousand times. 1.3822 0.04742 157 106 42 9
851 It’s either this or FOX. 1.3822 0.05075 157 110 34 13
852 I thought the Trump Channel was only on cable. 1.3816 0.05107 152 106 34 12
853 Talk about the orientation from hell. 1.3816 0.05192 152 107 32 13
854 Uh-oh, it's a cooking show. 1.3816 0.05021 152 105 36 11
855 Do you still think watching the promotional video for a free stay was a good idea? 1.3816 0.05107 152 106 34 12
856 I know I shouldn't complain, but I was expecting something more interactive. 1.3816 0.04934 152 104 38 10
857 Yes, this is hell. Heaven has a flat screen with 600 channels of cable. 1.3816 0.05438 152 110 26 16
858 I found this tour on Groupon. 1.3816 0.05275 152 108 30 14
859 I knew this was going to be avant-garde, but Jerry, give me one good reason why we're naked. 1.3816 0.04934 152 104 38 10
860 I heard he's trying to lower his carbon footprint. 1.3803 0.05167 142 98 34 10
861 Black and white TV? Now I know we're in hell! 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
862 I heard the previews last forever. 1.3800 0.05239 150 106 31 13
863 It’s perpetually Episode 1 Season 1. Get used to it. 1.3800 0.04976 150 103 37 10
864 Did I miss anything? 1.3800 0.05239 150 106 31 13
865 It's either this or Fox News. 1.3800 0.05153 150 105 33 12
866 Apparently hell means no diversity. 1.3800 0.05153 150 105 33 12
867 The first circle is just black and white. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
868 The Weather Channel is monotonous here. 1.3800 0.05239 150 106 31 13
869 It's not so much the heat as the humidity 1.3800 0.05065 150 104 35 11
870 If I'd known this was all it was going to be, I'd have killed a LOT more people. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
871 I assume he doesn't realize that this is less torturous than 24 hours of Fox News. 1.3800 0.05570 150 110 23 17
872 Please watch this safety video before we proceed to the river Styx. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
873 It's nice, but I miss the searing heat. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
874 It's nice to get some news from the world above. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
875 It's the Weather Channel. 1.3800 0.05407 150 108 27 15
876 There's a 30 minute orientation on fire and brimstone followed by a hot lunch. 1.3800 0.04885 150 102 39 9
877 We're "virtually" burning in hell... 1.3800 0.05065 150 104 35 11
878 He signed on to the Paris Climate Accord. 1.3800 0.05407 150 108 27 15
879 It's true . . . I always hated those fake fireplaces 1.3800 0.05407 150 108 27 15
880 It'll be an eternity until they upgrade to cable. 1.3800 0.04976 150 103 37 10
881 I don’t know about you, but I was expecting real flames 1.3800 0.05153 150 105 33 12
882 I hear they have cable upstairs. 1.3800 0.04793 150 101 41 8
883 I saw this one in the theaters. You don't see the end coming. 1.3800 0.05324 150 107 29 14
884 It's Lucifer's remake of the classic "Some Like It Hot" 1.3800 0.04976 150 103 37 10
885 12” screen, rabbit ears and only 1 channel; this really is hell! 1.3796 0.05873 137 101 20 16
886 You could say we are comfortably dressed for the occasion. 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
887 Things have gotten much better down here since we went virtual. 1.3786 0.04911 140 94 39 7
888 I've never been a fan of Reality TV. 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
889 Hey, turns out there really is a special place in hell for people who spoil the ending! 1.3784 0.05542 148 108 24 16
890 This is just the warm-up. Next is "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." 1.3784 0.05199 148 104 32 12
891 I think it would look better in color --- just sayin. 1.3784 0.05199 148 104 32 12
892 After the safety video, I’ll need you to sign the liability waiver. 1.3784 0.05542 148 108 24 16
893 I was expecting fire and brimstone, not "Fox and Friends." 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
894 Hannity'll be on after the informercial 1.3784 0.05287 148 105 30 13
895 I found the book to be a lot more compelling. 1.3784 0.04927 148 101 38 9
896 Don't worry, these presentations exaggerate everything. I used to sell timeshares. 1.3784 0.05287 148 105 30 13
897 I love previews! 1.3784 0.05287 148 105 30 13
898 Rabbit ears? In 2018? Really? 1.3784 0.05458 148 107 26 15
899 I miss fake news. 1.3784 0.05019 148 102 36 10
900 Reruns. 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
901 "This is hell, it's stuck on the local weather channel". 1.3784 0.05019 148 102 36 10
902 You gotta give the devil his due. It is more environmentally friendly. 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
903 And I thought daytime TV was hell. 1.3784 0.05110 148 103 34 11
904 I guess we're not freezing over anytime soon. 1.3784 0.05373 148 106 28 14
905 Ah...to set the mood, I guess... 1.3768 0.05060 138 94 36 8
906 I hear we have to watch all the ads down here, too. 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
907 I'm so tired of reality TV 1.3767 0.05510 146 106 25 15
908 Who would have believed the Scientologists were right? 1.3767 0.05424 146 105 27 14
909 AND there is no remote control 1.3767 0.04776 146 98 41 7
910 He waits until we're late into each episode before he spoils the ending. 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
911 Last season was way better 1.3767 0.04969 146 100 37 9
912 It's either this or reruns of Sean Hannity. 1.3767 0.05424 146 105 27 14
913 Yes, I heard this happens when you try to get out of your cable contract. 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
914 My cousin on the level below says they're showing season two of "The Jersey Shore" 1.3767 0.05247 146 103 31 12
915 The news doesn't look any different down here. 1.3767 0.05336 146 104 29 13
916 Who knew my punishment in hell would be watching the burning log channel for eternity? 1.3767 0.05247 146 103 31 12
917 Oh great, I've seen this one. 1.3767 0.05510 146 106 25 15
918 I heard next week we start getting "Cosby Show" reruns. 1.3767 0.05336 146 104 29 13
919 At least they have FOX News down here.... 1.3767 0.05510 146 106 25 15
920 You were in entertainment litigation? So was I! 1.3767 0.05156 146 102 33 11
921 Damned if I know. 1.3767 0.05247 146 103 31 12
922 I wonder what it did to end up down here 1.3767 0.05247 146 103 31 12
923 This year's Burning Man is on a whole other level 1.3767 0.05156 146 102 33 11
924 I heard in Purgatory they get Dish TV and HBO. 1.3767 0.05336 146 104 29 13
925 Can we switch to the airconditioning channel? 1.3767 0.05156 146 102 33 11
926 Steve's cock is smaller than I'd pictured. 1.3767 0.05510 146 106 25 15
927 This really is hell. We liberals get only Fox New forever while the conservatives get all of PBS. 1.3767 0.05510 146 106 25 15
928 The hellfire is just virtual? Wow, if I'd known that, I would have done a whole lot more sinning. 1.3767 0.05064 146 101 35 10
929 When does the State of the Union address start? 1.3767 0.05336 146 104 29 13
930 Rabbit ears?!? I knew there was a special place in hell reserved for those! 1.3767 0.05247 146 103 31 12
931 No cable and no flatscreens. Well... I guess we’re really here. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
932 It's called HELLevision! 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
933 Thank goodness we still get Fox News 1.3741 0.05306 147 105 29 13
934 It's one of their original series. 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
935 Oh, hey Susan. 1.3741 0.05710 139 102 22 15
936 I haven’t seen rabbit ears for eternity. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
937 And you thought reality TV was hell before we died. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
938 I don't mind the overflow room. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
939 Coming Attractions! Isn't that a little over the top? 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
940 Don't you miss marshmallows? 1.3724 0.04985 145 100 36 9
941 Let's offer him our souls in exchange for cable. 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
942 This is the tenth circle of Hell - political junkies. We are condemned to watch local C-SPAN for eternity. 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
943 Orientations are Hell. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
944 It's just a preview of coming attractions. 1.3724 0.04888 145 99 38 8
945 Only the big sinners get to be there in person. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
946 Worst.Timeshare.Promo.Ever. 1.3724 0.05444 145 105 26 14
947 The commentator said the definition of hell is nudity over forty. 1.3724 0.05356 145 104 28 13
948 No remote.... 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
949 Oh good. We can see "Fox and Friends" 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
950 Reception is good here. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
951 The nudity is a surprise, but it's still hell without a remote. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
952 It was this or Fox and Friends. 1.3724 0.05618 145 107 22 16
953 A cathode ray TV, of course this is Hell. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
954 If you think this is hell, just wait for the infomercial! 1.3724 0.04985 145 100 36 9
955 Welcome to Hell. After you finish watching the informative video, you will have a chance to use the sauna. 1.3724 0.05356 145 104 28 13
956 Finally. He promised he'd be here to install it in 1956. 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
957 Well, at least there are no commercials. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
958 Roseanne is on next. 1.3724 0.05532 145 106 24 15
959 Orientation is so boring. Let's get started already. Right? 1.3724 0.04985 145 100 36 9
960 Didn’t I see you at the innaugaration? 1.3724 0.05444 145 105 26 14
961 I hear there's a hot tub in every room. 1.3723 0.05181 137 95 33 9
962 We get real fire only when Hell starts to freeze over. Otherwise, it's just reruns. 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
963 God warned Eve not to get an Apple TV but she just had to get one, didn't she? 1.3706 0.05586 143 105 23 15
964 We got him off coal but going solar is gonna be an uphill battle. 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
965 24-hour Fox News. Who knew. 1.3706 0.05673 143 106 21 16
966 They say TV adds 10 degrees. 1.3706 0.05315 143 102 29 12
967 It's not the heat -- it's the morbidity. 1.3699 0.05235 146 104 30 12
968 Whaaat? Black and white? This is hell! 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
969 In heaven you get to change the channel. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
970 Can we move closer? I'm still cold. 1.3688 0.04870 141 96 38 7
971 I’ve never been a fan of the coming attractions. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
972 Thank Satan we don't have to watch any more cat videos. 1.3688 0.04765 141 95 40 6
973 It could be worse. They could be showing 'Hannity'. 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
974 They were right it did go to hell. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
975 Do you think it would be rude if I asked to change the channel? 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
976 Fox News is all they can get here 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
977 Yes, we are in the real Hell, rabbit ears reception on a Black and White TV 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
978 Another orientation meeting? Boy, this place really is Hell 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
979 The only other two channels are a burning fireplace and Billy Graham. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
980 Rabbit ears? We’re in heaven...Hell has 800 cable channels but nothing’s on.... 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
981 This may sound stupid, but I can't help but feel disappointed. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
982 Who here thinks this is fake news? 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
983 So ... are you here for eternity ... or ... 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
984 Hey, turns out there really is a special place in hell for people who spoil movies! 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
985 0h, no --another Oval Office meltdown! 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
986 I dare you to change the channel 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
987 This is pure hell. It's the same on every channel. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
988 The only thing worse than Hell is this orientation video. 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
989 I heard if Satan doesn't show up in the first 15 minutes you can leave. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
990 The road to hell is paved with fake news. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
991 Black and White with rabbit ears, this must be hell 1.3688 0.04973 141 97 36 8
992 My ministry swindled enough people of their life savings to afford this upgrade. And you? 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
993 So the Devil does NOT wear Prada? 1.3688 0.04973 141 97 36 8
994 There's no chance we'll get a snowy picture. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
995 There was a much better selection of channels in purgatory. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
996 It’s Purgatory ... with benefits. 1.3669 0.05698 139 103 21 15
997 It's the 13495738293584635th season and they will never cancel it. 1.3669 0.05417 139 100 27 12
998 (Sigh) So it’s true. All they have down here is the Hallmark channel. 1.3669 0.05221 139 98 31 10
999 Looks like McLuhan was right - the medium is the message. 1.3669 0.04912 139 95 37 7
1000 So it's going to be an eternity of watching the Yule Log channel? 1.3669 0.05221 139 98 31 10
1001 Spoiler alert. 1.3669 0.05698 139 103 21 15
1002 Last season was better... 1.3669 0.05320 139 99 29 11
1003 Firefox. How ironic. 1.3662 0.05608 142 105 22 15
1004 But it's a dry heat. 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
1005 It's the preview of what's next. 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
1006 Just to let you know, the weather reports here are totally predictable. 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
1007 Notice how they're showing more boobs in The New Yorker? 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1008 It’s hell. Only reality TV. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1009 This is a rerun. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1010 I knew it. Eternal Fox news. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1011 Worse yet, it's reruns. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1012 And now for a brief message from our sponsor. 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
1013 It's not what I would call 'binge-worthy.' 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1014 This is the hottest show on tv. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1015 ”It looks so much hotter in the ad”. 1.3650 0.05063 137 95 34 8
1016 I had no idea hell meant I'd have to watch fox news forever. 1.3650 0.05941 137 104 16 17
1017 It's either this or re-runs of "The Apprentice". 1.3650 0.05167 137 96 32 9
1018 We're toast! 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
1019 The cable installer said he would come when hell freezes over. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1020 The worst part is there’s no remote. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1021 Reality TV producer? Me, too! 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
1022 Must be a preview of coming attractions. 1.3650 0.04955 137 94 36 7
1023 If money is the root of all evil you'd think they could afford HDTV. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1024 Turns out, the road to hell was paved with bad reality TV. 1.3650 0.05063 137 95 34 8
1025 It's more fuel efficient. 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
1026 Here comes the safety video 1.3650 0.05063 137 95 34 8
1027 No cable or satellite. This really is hell! 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1028 Now first, we're going to watch a short video about our sexual harassment policies here. 1.3650 0.05663 137 101 22 14
1029 The only show we get is the Hawaiian lava flow. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1030 This is Dante's sixth level of hell. They make us watch FOX News. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1031 You all said "over hell or high water" you'd support the president, well, guess what? 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1032 They're working on getting a live feed from the White House. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1033 First level: black and white. Next level, no remote. Third, remotes for each of us. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1034 We're lucky, I heard that if you were really bad they make you watch "The View". 1.3650 0.05167 137 96 32 9
1035 Let's hope this Inferno thing is just one season. 1.3650 0.05270 137 97 30 10
1036 It feels like we’ve been waiting an eternity for the cable guy to show up. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1037 I can deal with the heat. Having to watch Hannity on an endless loop is the real torture. 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1038 Who knew that the ads would still be the worst part. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1039 This focus group sucks. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1040 ‘That’s the power of prayer for you,Fox News went to Hell.’ 1.3650 0.05470 137 99 26 12
1041 I remember White House press briefings a bit differently. 1.3650 0.05167 137 96 32 9
1042 Brimstone shortage. It's all digital now. 1.3650 0.05371 137 98 28 11
1043 This isn't the worse part. Wait until you see the commercials. 1.3630 0.05216 135 95 31 9
1044 When I said I wanted to heat things up in the bedroom, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.3630 0.05216 135 95 31 9
1045 I wonder if they have flat screens in heaven. 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1046 Fox and Friends has gone to hell lately. 1.3630 0.05721 135 100 21 14
1047 Better reception than I expected. 1.3630 0.05624 135 99 23 13
1048 An analog TV? What kind of hell is this? 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1049 Are you sure this is the right Burning Man? 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1050 An eternity of watching the Yule Log on an old Philco. Who knew? 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1051 It lowers our carbon footprint. 1.3630 0.05109 135 94 33 8
1052 At least there's no commercials. 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1053 Rumor is that it streams live on all 666 channels. 1.3630 0.05109 135 94 33 8
1054 Looks like we only get the Hellmark Channel down here. 1.3630 0.05321 135 96 29 10
1055 It’s the only way he can get Baby Boomers to pay attention. 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1056 Looks like Trump stiffed the cable company again. 1.3630 0.05817 135 101 19 15
1057 I know it's hell, but still...rabbit ears?? 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1058 It gets worse, the only other channel is Fox News. 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1059 This is Naked and Afraid. Truth or Consequences is in studio B. 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1060 Previews of coming attractions 1.3630 0.05216 135 95 31 9
1061 My wife told me I'd end up here if I kept watching porn videos. Guess I got the last laugh. 1.3630 0.05216 135 95 31 9
1062 One tv station was always my vision of hell. 1.3630 0.05321 135 96 29 10
1063 Art really does imitate life. 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1064 Is this Channel 666? 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1065 What the hell? Does he ever let anyone else choose what to watch? 1.3630 0.05321 135 96 29 10
1066 They call this hell?!? I used to be in charge of Trump's tweets! 1.3630 0.05624 135 99 23 13
1067 At least down here the weather report is accurate. 1.3630 0.04888 135 92 37 6
1068 I never pay attention to orientation videos 1.3630 0.05424 135 97 27 11
1069 Well, at least the news is better. 1.3630 0.05216 135 95 31 9
1070 Fake news. 1.3630 0.05525 135 98 25 12
1071 I hate reality shows. 1.3630 0.05624 135 99 23 13
1072 I'm late to the orientation - did they already give out the wi-fi password? 1.3623 0.05137 138 97 32 9
1073 He knew about global warming centuries ago. 1.3623 0.05137 138 97 32 9
1074 When I said those fireplace videos were my vision of Hell I didn't think anybody was listening. 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
1075 And now, your Local on the 8s. Chance of hellfire 100% 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
1076 These orientation videos bore the hell out of me 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1077 Press Briefing. 1.3609 0.05045 133 92 34 7
1078 Only C-SPAN? We really are in hell. 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1079 Oh, great--an eternity of black & white TV 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
1080 Damn! I would have been a better person if Revelation had warned about an eternity of Reality TV instead of just the whole 'fiery lake of burning sulfur' thing. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1081 Frankly, I'm getting tired of reality TV. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
1082 No cable, no remote- this really IS Hell. 1.3609 0.05879 133 100 18 15
1083 He’s very pleased. Nothing but Kilauea on every channel. 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1084 He said to watch closely. The devil is in the details 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1085 We're spillover in Hades2. The 1% are getting actual fire and brimstone. 1.3609 0.04930 133 91 36 6
1086 It's in SD -- slow damnation. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1087 Fake News. Let’s go to the beach. 1.3609 0.05045 133 92 34 7
1088 And if we sign up today, we get one free week at any Trump property worldwide. 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
1089 I wish I'd never invented reality TV. 1.3609 0.05581 133 97 24 12
1090 According to the weather report, it will be hot like hell for the foreseeable future. 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1091 I expected Fox News. 1.3609 0.05682 133 98 22 13
1092 What time does Hannity start? 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
1093 Welcome to hell, where your only news source for all eternity is Fox News! Muahahaha! 1.3609 0.05682 133 98 22 13
1094 That’s right, no flatscreens for you sinners. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1095 I usually skip orientation. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
1096 No remote, no hi-def , no flat screen : I’m starting to get it. 1.3609 0.05581 133 97 24 12
1097 No cable, no flat screen ... this is hell. 1.3609 0.05682 133 98 22 13
1098 The whole fire and brimstone thing loses its effect when you are watching the live feed here in the overflow room 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1099 I can't believe this show got picked up for a 74,853th season. 1.3609 0.05581 133 97 24 12
1100 It's the sequel to Liar Liar. It's called Pants on Fire. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
1101 After age 40, nudity is hell. 1.3609 0.05581 133 97 24 12
1102 They say it's just a preview of what's to come. 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
1103 The only problem is, it’s either this, Fox News, or the Home Shopping Network.” 1.3609 0.05682 133 98 22 13
1104 Wow, Great to see you here. 1.3609 0.04930 133 91 36 6
1105 Sure, it’s not bad so far but I think this is just the orientation video 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1106 It could be worse, it could be reality T.V. 1.3603 0.04970 136 94 35 7
1107 I knew it wasn't going to be plush, but seriously, no cable? 1.3603 0.05078 136 95 33 8
1108 The good news is you can watch as much TV as you want... 1.3603 0.04745 136 92 39 5
1109 Apparently the energy costs were just killing them. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1110 20 minutes of previews and it already seems like an eternity. 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1111 Wait. Fox News comes on next. 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1112 Due to recent budget constraints, we will only be offering simulated hellfire for the next quarter. 1.3603 0.05078 136 95 33 8
1113 Wow... It feels so real. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1114 "You said you'd only see me again when Hell freezes over". 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1115 24/7 reality TV?! This is going to be hell alright. 1.3603 0.05490 136 99 25 12
1116 I still think things would have turned out worse if Hillary had won. 1.3588 0.05843 131 98 19 14
1117 Last year we had a flat screen LED. Everything’s just going to hell. 1.3588 0.05091 131 91 33 7
1118 No flatscreen TV? Well, this is hell. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1119 Gosh, GOP really DOES have 'a Special Place in Hell'! 1.3588 0.05942 131 99 17 15
1120 At least we're not watching golf. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1121 Never thought I’d spend eternity reliving the 60’s. 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
1122 I know it feels fine, but Fox News says it's scorching hot down here, so it must be true. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1123 Hi, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this ? 1.3588 0.05638 131 96 23 12
1124 Did you remember to turn off the stove? 1.3588 0.05091 131 91 33 7
1125 You know, the camera adds a few degrees. 1.3588 0.04855 131 89 37 5
1126 We’re being forced to watch ‘Apprentice’ reruns for all eternity. 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
1127 It’s still better than ‘Keeping Up With The Karashians’. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1128 Trailers these days always seem to give away the ending. 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
1129 The first person to complain about not having cable reincarnates as White House Press Secretary. 1.3588 0.05741 131 97 21 13
1130 At least it's less of a disaster than the White House. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1131 In purgatory, they're still waiting for the cable guy. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
1132 Every time I see this show, it's always the same episode. It's like being in Limbo or something. 1.3588 0.05843 131 98 19 14
1133 At least it's not the Big Bang Theory again... 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
1134 For these folks, hell is the endless reoccurring epiphany of discovering that Fox News is actually broadcast from hell. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
1135 What are you doing after orientation? 1.3588 0.04974 131 90 35 6
1136 The ad said “Hot Weather- Great Reception” so who knew ? 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
1137 So, got any plans after the show? 1.3588 0.04974 131 90 35 6
1138 Fire and brimstone on a large screen would be bad enough, but having to watch it for eternity on that thing is really hell! 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
1139 Orientation videos are the worst, right? 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
1140 The eternal fire was just too expensive. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
1141 Let's find a cool place to make out after this video is over. 1.3588 0.05426 131 94 27 10
1142 If I knew there was no HBO, I would have been a lot nicer up there. 1.3582 0.04785 134 91 38 5
1143 Must be election season again. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1144 You come here often? 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1145 Thank Satan they finally turned off the Royal Wedding! 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1146 Somehow, I expected it would be "live." 1.3538 0.05764 130 97 20 13
1147 There is only one station and it's Hell. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1148 It could be worse - we could be watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1149 I’ve seen this one before. But then I have been here for two hundred years. 1.3538 0.04988 130 90 34 6
1150 You just knew it would be reality tv. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1151 In the next scene hell freezes over. 1.3538 0.04988 130 90 34 6
1152 Let’s start screaming in agony—we don’t want them catching on that we’re really just fine without HDTV. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1153 He said ‘to hell with cable !’ 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1154 Oh hell, Rabbit Ears, really? 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1155 Well what did you expect, HBO? 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1156 It's a state-run network. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1157 What's worse is still having to pay for all those other channels... 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1158 So, is this your first time visiting Florida? 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1159 Could be worse. On the level below us all they get is C-SPAN. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1160 No Netflix? This is going to be hell. 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1161 'He likes to begin with a short travelogue.' 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1162 Good thing we died and got out of America just in time. 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1163 White Supremacist Convention. 1.3538 0.05968 130 99 16 15
1164 And he only lets us watch the Weather Channel. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1165 I thought hellfire would be bad, but it's the endless safety videos that really get you. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1166 I guess he's really going to make us watch the royal wedding from beginning to end. 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1167 These welcome to newcomers videos are so lame. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1168 Somehow, this is even worse. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1169 I'm not really interested in a timeshare. I just wanted the free trip. 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1170 This is the easy part. The live Trump rally coverage airs in five minutes. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1171 Somehow I'm not surprised that the only channel we get here is reality T.V. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1172 Finally! True news. Who thought we'd get it here? 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1173 Waiting for Hannity. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1174 I thought Hell would be to watch the Kardashians over and over again 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1175 When do you think people will catch on that they are watching 'fake hell'. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1176 Is this your first Burning Man vacation tour? 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1177 Which season are we on? 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1178 It's either this or C-SPAN. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1179 Could've been worse, Florence. I mean, at least it's not Fox News. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1180 Should I ask to use his trident to see if we can pick up a few more channels? 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1181 Not even a flatscreen TV. We really are in hell. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1182 Looks like another scorcher to day. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1183 You can't trust everything you see on TV anymore... I heard hell froze over last year. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1184 Don't complain or he will switch it to coverage of Trump. 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1185 Well, no worries about our clothes catching fire! 1.3538 0.05660 130 96 22 12
1186 I hear the seventh circle has high-def. 1.3534 0.05358 133 96 27 10
1187 The sub always makes us watch a video of our damnation. It's just lazy tormenting. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1188 Hell is freezing over. What did you expect? 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1189 What in hell is that supposed to mean? 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1190 It's better than looking at Facebook all day... 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1191 I so hate orientation videos. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1192 Can you believe it over 500 channels and that's all the hell that's on. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1193 It's worse than I thought. No cable. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1194 I’m surprised they get any reception down here. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1195 I just heard it's going to be replaced by Hannity's show. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1196 I bet Heaven has HD. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1197 On the next level down they have Facebook. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1198 Hey, at least it isn't Fox News. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1199 At least it’s better than the room where you spend eternity waiting for the cable technician. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1200 It's hell all right--no A.C. and you only get one channel. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1201 Remember back when there was more than one channel? 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1202 Guess it's not really a surprise that Satan has Comcast. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1203 Where’s the remote? 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1204 Winter is not coming. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1205 Could be worse. Remember the Yule log? 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1206 If you think this is bad, you should have seen last year's pledge drive. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1207 You know, I hear in Heaven they got 200 more channels than we do. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1208 Wow, they get great reception down here. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1209 Look around, this special place in Hell is for the White House press corps. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1210 Not watching in high definition is the first eternal torment. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1211 Before the budget cuts, they at least used actual fire. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1212 If they really wanted to punish us, they would've put on cable news. 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1213 Apparently, Keeping Up With the Kardashians was considered inhumane. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1214 And I thought watching the yule log channel at Christmas on my big screen was hell.... 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1215 What’s a women like you doing in a place like this? 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1216 I should have done more sins 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1217 I love our mandatory Fox News breaks. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1218 666 channels and there's still never anything good on. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1219 I dare you to start caroling. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1220 I was a producer for reality TV. How about you? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1221 I just *knew* The Inferno was fake news. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1222 He told me no judicial experience was necessary for the appointment....you too? 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1223 Hmmm, never mind the TV; I always thought he'd be bigger, you know, down there. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1224 Watching television via antennae? Even hell doesn't force us to use Comcast. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1225 American education IS dead, if he needs a video to explain who he is. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1226 Analog TV, local channels only and no remote, now this is Hell! 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1227 Alright kids, Mr. Lucifer has jury duty, so we'll be watching a movie today. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1228 The orientation video doesn't do it justice. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1229 Cathode ray and rabbit ears - this place is worse than I'd thought. 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1230 This is the most interesting orientation I've been to. Mostly because of the nudity. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1231 Season 4,643,342 was better 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1232 Everyday, it's either this or Fox News. 1.3511 0.05928 131 100 16 15
1233 The fire is fake, but the cattle prod is real. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1234 Everything looks worse in black and white. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1235 It's a very short orientation video 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1236 At least it’s not Fox...! 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
1237 Oh, hell. I hear the Infernomercial takes forever. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1238 Joke’s on him. I love reality TV. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1239 There's just no escaping workplace safety videos. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1240 I'm telling you, it's got to be just a bad dream, the devil has a bellybutton. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1241 Fox News 24/7. This is Hell! 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1242 An old black and white tube set with built in rabbit ears and one channel...yup...we’re in Hell. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1243 I would have thought for sure they'd have Fox News here. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1244 Like everything else, hell isn't what it used to be. 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1245 We never had TV until Trump arrived. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1246 Things changed after Comcast bought them out. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1247 You think the commercials are bad? Wait 'til 'One Million Years of Fox and Friends" comes on! 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1248 An eternity of terrible reception. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1249 Thanks God it's not The Bachelor. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1250 I think this is a rerun. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1251 It's not the reception I was expecting. 1.3468 0.04997 124 86 33 5
1252 If I knew this is what they meant by burning in hell, I would've committed more crimes. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1253 So, hell is the Yule log for eternity. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1254 Still beats Comcast. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1255 He's seriously reducing the carbon footprint of this place 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1256 Actually, its better than most of the network shows last season. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1257 It's the only show we get here and it was just renewed for an eternity of seasons. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1258 24/7 Fox News 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1259 It's just the previews. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1260 No High Def. Told you this was Hell. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1261 You would think the King of Darkness could afford satellite. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1262 At least it's not "The View." 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1263 Do you ever wish for clothes captioning? 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1264 Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t have voted yes for net neutrality. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1265 All the shows are sindicated. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1266 No cable, one channel, this must be Hell. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1267 Last episode, Sisyphus was voted off. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1268 Is this because I told my cable company to go to hell? 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1269 What's with the rabbit ears? I'd swear my cable bundle included hell in the package. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1270 I see what you mean by 'cult classic.' 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1271 This must be hell - there’s no remote. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1272 Normally we watch dumpster fires, but this white house press briefing is pretty hot 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1273 At least it isn't a bunch of stupid cat videos. 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1274 I love this part! 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1275 Hey, I've already seen this 10000 times! 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1276 We hope this brief training video has been helpful. And now, on behalf of Satan -- Welcome to Hell! 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1277 This is the first time I've felt lucky to be in the overflow room. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1278 So, someone put on Fox News and lost the remote. And now we're here. 1.3465 0.05169 127 90 30 7
1279 Nice rack. 1.3443 0.06022 122 93 16 13
1280 This is a rerun. They think of everything. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1281 Lacks the warmth of the original. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1282 You'd think the Ruler of the Underworld would have a flat-screen. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1283 Don't worry.They change the channel every thousand years or so. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1284 Yep. We just wait for the cable guy. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1285 HR says we can't use real fire anymore. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1286 It's sweeps week for the Dante Channel. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1287 60” flat screen back at my place. You want to get outta here? 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1288 Two thousand channels, and nothing's on. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
1289 What the Hell? 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1290 I expected a more immersive experience from this evangelical theme park. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1291 They finally put it down here where it belongs. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1292 Frankly, I'm underwhelmed by the orientation so far. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1293 Using real fire was killing our budget. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1294 I think they just want us to get warmed up. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1295 It’s hell trying to get a signal down here 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1296 Watching Having to watch the Yuletide Log burn forever is bad enough. But the perpetual Christmas music is sheer hell. 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1297 No commercials, that’s a positive... 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1298 I refuse to believe we’re in hell until they change the channel to Dr. Phil. 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1299 I think it’s the Weather Channel... 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1300 It could be worse. In heaven they have to watch reruns of "Touched by an Angel". 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1301 In hell, you still have to get up to adjust the antenna. 1.3443 0.05043 122 85 32 5
1302 We used to get HBO, but this place has really gone to, well, you know. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1303 I knew hell would be awful, but I never dreamed that we would have to watch reality TV for eternity. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1304 First Fake News...Now Fake Flames. 1.3443 0.06022 122 93 16 13
1305 It's either this or brimstone. 1.3443 0.05043 122 85 32 5
1306 This is the hottest show on tv. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1307 Look on the bright side, they could have streamed Fox News. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
1308 I heard that in the First Circle, they get to watch something other than Fox News. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1309 Could be worse. 1.3443 0.05043 122 85 32 5
1310 It's part of a new carbon neutral initiative. 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1311 Great- another local interest story. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1312 This is virtual Hell! 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1313 7,500 degrees again today? And you believe Dopler Radar? 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1314 So far, I've only abandoned all hope that we'll get to watch the playoffs. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1315 On the bright side it looks like they have their own cable news channel. 1.3417 0.05090 120 84 31 5
1316 Is there a remote chance in Hell of getting a better reception? 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1317 It's a warm-up video. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1318 Only one screen for all of us and no cable?! What kind of place is this?! 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1319 Right as the couple announces which house they'll choose he switches to this channel. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1320 That's the live stream from 666 Fifth Avenue. 1.3417 0.06092 120 92 15 13
1321 It’s either this or the Kardashians. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1322 Get used to it, there's only one channel down here. 1.3417 0.05090 120 84 31 5
1323 I've got a corner suite down in the 4th circle with two pals from Wharton. You have any plans for later? 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1324 Orientation is always Hell. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
1325 I'm so relieved! I always thought it was going to be Fox News. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
1326 He’s making us watch his home videos again. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1327 It's not the heat I miss so much, it's the humidity. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1328 Who knew there would be hell to pay for cutting the cable.? 1.3417 0.05225 120 85 29 6
1329 Would a fake log be too much to ask? 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1330 Trust me this is much better than when we just had radio. 1.3417 0.04950 120 83 33 4
1331 I guess oil prices are effecting everyone 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1332 Next level down, it's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo in VR. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1333 My parents had that TV in the '80s... it was torture to watch then too. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1334 Oh No, just the FOX NEWS Channel down here! 1.3417 0.05976 120 91 17 12
1335 It's a touch ironic since I never believed in literal fire and brimstone. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1336 Get used to it kids... Still think global warming is a myth? 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1337 This is much more pleasant than the focus group on torture. 1.3417 0.05090 120 84 31 5
1338 At least it's not C-Span. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1339 A box tv? This really is Hell. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1340 I didn't expect they would have Fox News here. 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1341 I’m surprised they get reception down here. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1342 Orientation videos are always the worst. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1343 Glad we’re in the overflow room. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1344 Honestly, I prefer it to watching Fox News. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
1345 At least it's not snow. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1346 Is it me, or does this episode seem to be lasting forever? 1.3417 0.05976 120 91 17 12
1347 Let me guess. Hot as Hell with a chance of Fire & Brimstone. Surprise, surprise. 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
1348 At least there are no commercials. 1.3415 0.05516 123 90 24 9
1349 In heaven it's clouds and a flat-screen. 1.3415 0.05516 123 90 24 9
1350 This is the floor for Everyone Who Ever Made Fun Of The Yule Log. If you're looking for Taking Forever To Order At Starbucks, that's on six. 1.3415 0.05867 123 93 18 12
1351 No streaming? This IS Hell. 1.3394 0.06004 109 81 19 9
1352 Down here we call it "singe-watching." 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
1353 I thought at least we would be able to wear our "Make America Great Again" hats. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1354 I liked Season 1 better. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1355 This is one hell of an orientation video. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1356 Hey, so... do you come here often? 1.3390 0.05277 118 84 28 6
1357 It's almost like they named it Tinder as a warning. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1358 It's a slight improvement from Fox & Friends. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1359 No Netflix?!? Christ, this IS Hell! 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1360 Oh we could change it - we just can’t find the remote. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
1361 The budget cuts must've hit his department the hardest 1.3390 0.05138 118 83 30 5
1362 Well, at least it's a dry heat. 1.3390 0.05800 118 88 20 10
1363 These instructional videos are always so dated. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1364 I’m just going to stay up until they give the forecast for the weekend... 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1365 Somehow I suspect it’s not going to be quite the same kind of ‘fireside chat’ our grandparents got from President Roosevelt. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1366 Don't worry - TV cameras add like 10 degrees. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1367 I used to think reality TV was torture. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
1368 Did you read the book? 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1369 Ironic don't you think--all this is heaven for an arsonist. 1.3390 0.05800 118 88 20 10
1370 I recognize that guy from the DMV. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1371 Heaven has a big screen with cable. 1.3390 0.05674 118 87 22 9
1372 Glad I'm down here and not a White House staffer! 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1373 Somehow the heat is lost in the translation! 1.3390 0.06044 118 90 16 12
1374 Sure, it'll get picked up for next season. It always gets picked up for next season. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1375 Streaming hell is cheaper these days 1.3388 0.05574 121 89 23 9
1376 That women in front is pretty hot. 1.3388 0.05574 121 89 23 9
1377 Wow, no flat screens. This really is hell. 1.3388 0.05190 121 86 29 6
1378 These are just the previews. 1.3364 0.05133 107 74 30 3
1379 This must be hell. There’s no cable. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1380 It finally froze over. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1381 And they still need more evidence for global warming!! 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1382 I won't spoil it for you, but I know how this ends. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1383 I hear the place upstairs has a real fireplace. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1384 I don't think the trailer does it justice. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1385 This just means that when I wake up, Hannity will still be raving. 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
1386 We should've thought about this before we started working for Trump. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1387 I always thought there would be hell to pay for cutting cable. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1388 These commercials are hell. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1389 The circle under this only has radio. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1390 Figures he would have us watch an intro to hell on an analog tv 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1391 So this is hell-no cable TV. 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
1392 I've seen this one already. 1.3362 0.05040 116 81 31 4
1393 Somehow I thought we'd be wearing Prada. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1394 what the hell is this? 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
1395 The medium is the message. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1396 Where in the hell is the remote? 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1397 Same ol' forecast: "Mostly hot with a chance of fire and brimstone." 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1398 I've always hated reality TV. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1399 The laugh track is a bit over the top. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1400 That's the weather channel. The usual foercast. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1401 At least it's not cable news. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1402 Just a quick one. What are they going to do--punish us? 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1403 Hell is other white people. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1404 The “Woman Scorned” symposium was WAY scarier. 1.3362 0.05991 116 88 17 11
1405 Hard to tell but it looks like a rerun 1.3362 0.05040 116 81 31 4
1406 It gets worse -- at night they run nothing but informercials. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1407 "It's a training film for those who never experienced hell on earth". 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1408 I just watch for the commercials. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1409 Which Fox News show did you say you worked on? 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1410 The seventh circle is currently under construction. Please stand by. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1411 Hey, at least it's not Hannity. 1.3362 0.06237 116 90 13 13
1412 The picture quality is so lifelike...it's the damnedest thing. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1413 Nothing but Fox interrupted only by the Cars for Kids jingle. for eternity. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1414 I hear heaven has a big screen with Netflix. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1415 I was talking to Ed down on Level 3 and he said they get to have real fire. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1416 ... and then Trump said "You're Fired". 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1417 We've been praying to find the remote for ages 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1418 The weather channel again? 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1419 Nuts! It’s a rerun. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1420 I heard St. Peter bought a 65 inch 4K Ultra HD for the upstairs rec room 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1421 The flames look better in HD. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1422 The "hell" part is that you can't change the damned channel. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1423 I am the Pearly Gates when somebody asked if I'd like to get naked and watch something hot and here I am. What about you? 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
1424 I can't believe they picked this up for another season. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1425 I knew there'd be infomercials in Hell. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1426 When I sold my soul for the hottest channels on TV, this isn't what I expected! 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1427 This is the weirdest Groupon ever. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1428 " Fox and Friends " is on in fifteen minutes! 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1429 Do you have any plans for later? 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1430 I'm actually relieved-no more pharma commercials. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1431 You know, I think it's great the White House is bringing back fireside chats. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1432 It's the Trump White House, on an endless loop. It makes me think we're better off here. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1433 He is doing what he can to reduce his carbon footprint. 1.3362 0.05865 116 87 19 10
1434 ...and I thought Keeping Up with the Kardashians was Hell. 1.3362 0.06237 116 90 13 13
1435 They only have this and Fox News 1.3362 0.05991 116 88 17 11
1436 ADULTERERS Anonymous ?? Confidential as AA ?? Obviously, NOT !!! 1.3362 0.06356 116 91 11 14
1437 Typical news it's all fire and brimstone. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1438 Don't fret over the remote, the real torment sets in when you realize we only get one channel. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1439 It's an EPA thing. 1.3362 0.05187 116 82 29 5
1440 there used to be an actual fire but, you know...budget cuts are hell. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1441 Like hell, isn't it? 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1442 The devil is always in the details with these cable packages. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1443 It's apparently a live transmission of the opening of the US Embassy in Jerusalem. 1.3362 0.05991 116 88 17 11
1444 Really? I got naked for this? 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1445 They're trying to reduce their carbon footprint. 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1446 It's the same Trump speech over and over again. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1447 Apparently Norwegians in heaven also watch this show for all eternity 1.3362 0.05187 116 82 29 5
1448 It’s the only reality TV show they have down here. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1449 What the devil is going on? 1.3361 0.05880 119 90 18 11
1450 It’s probably more breaking news. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1451 Long range forecast, expect no break from the heat and humidity. 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
1452 A CRT with rabbit ears? This is hell. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1453 Well, I'll be damned! 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1454 They add two years to eternity if you switch channels 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1455 Well that answers the question...an eternity of the Channel 9 Yule Log. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1456 No spoilers please. I haven't seen this episode yet. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1457 To hell with it! 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1458 Rabbit ears on black-and-white TV set with only one Channel and no cable ..... we really are in Hell. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1459 Hell of a party, isn’t it? 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1460 In hell there is one community tv with one channel to watch & the devil is the only one who gets the tv remote; in heaven everybody gets their own tv with unlimited cable & a personalized tv remote with your initials engraved on it. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1461 It's hell not having cable. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1462 Yes! Finally no political commercials. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
1463 No cable down here. So it's either this or PBS. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1464 Turn up the volume, we're freezing here! 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1465 We're trying to be more fuel efficient. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
1466 I always figured hell would involve a lot more Hannity. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1467 Do you know if this Orientation covers the dress code? 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1468 THIS is CNN.... 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1469 That TSA Screener was right! This pre-boarding process is absolute Hell! 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1470 I've seen this show before, spoiler alert. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1471 Eco-friendly, renewable, sustainable - call it what you will; it's freezing down here. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1472 I heard everyone in heaven gets an iPad 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1473 I can't believe that we have to watch this in black and white. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1474 Isn't this the same news we heard yesterday? 1.3333 0.04772 114 78 34 2
1475 It just hasn't been the same since the budget cuts 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1476 You think this is hell, wait till he changes the channel to reality TV. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1477 The Yule Log isn't so bad; the 24-hour Christmas music is the real torture. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
1478 Trump's America and hell look pretty similar, don't you think? 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
1479 The remote doesn't work. This is the real torture. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1480 Fake Hell ! 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1481 You'd think we'd at least get to get FOX News down here. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1482 Lousy reception,no Hi Def, nowhere to sit , and no AC.This really is HELL. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1483 Actual flames are too much of a safety risk. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1484 Look at the TV. Rabbit ear antennae, no remote, VHF and UHF dials, no color, and one channel. OMG THIS IS HELL!!! 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1485 It’s hell without cable. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1486 Honestly, I'm just glad they're not making us read a book. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1487 It's better for the environment but boring as hell. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1488 Twenty-four seven local news coverage. That's the hell of it. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1489 Where in the hell is the remote? 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1490 This is it. One channel. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
1491 Looks like Fox News has dropped all pretense. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1492 So ... which Hollywood executive did you represent? 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1493 Well, that looks like the hell fire. I wonder if the damnation is also virtual? 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1494 I'd sell another soul for a flat screen 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1495 ... but first, a brief "Welcome to Hell" orientation video. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1496 As if we didn't already know that hell is basic cable. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1497 I heard the next season is a lot darker. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1498 This infomercial continues until Hell freezes over. 1.3333 0.06188 114 88 14 12
1499 You haven't missed anything, it's just the trailer. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1500 I’ve seen it a million times and it still makes me laugh. 1.3333 0.06188 114 88 14 12
1501 What the Hell?" "Another political rally" "This is torture! 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1502 If they show any more Hannity, I may ask to go back to the pit of flame. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1503 Anybody seen the remote? 1.3333 0.05822 117 88 19 10
1504 And you still get ads, even after you upgrade. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
1505 It's better than a lot of shows we watched when alive. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1506 Don't worry this is just one of those dreams where u appear naked in public 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1507 I always said adjusting those rabbit ears was hell. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1508 The previews are starting. 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1509 Paying the extra for the virtual hell experience was a good choice... 1.3333 0.05526 114 83 24 7
1510 I told you it was worse in DC. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
1511 You think we adulterers have it bad--the murderers have to watch Full House. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1512 It's going to be hell without cable. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1513 Summer reruns. 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1514 So glad Fox News is on down here. 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1515 It wouldn't be half as bad down here if I hadn't left the remote in my pocket. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1516 No cable? This IS hell! 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1517 The next circle only has dial-up. 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
1518 This is what I call virtual hell. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
1519 What does it tell you about our president when even the devil is working on reducing is carbon footprint? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1520 The book's better. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1521 So, Hell is waiting eternity for the cable installer? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1522 It was either the weather forecast or Fox & Friends ... the one time he actually gave us what we asked for. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1523 The new screensaver for Fox News viewers. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1524 Do we get clothes if Hell freezes over? 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1525 I should have known we'd all have to share the same tv, but seriously, the Weather Channel? 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1526 Wanna get something to eat before the last circle? 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1527 Oh, there is no actual ride. We just stand in line forever. 1.3304 0.06134 112 86 15 11
1528 C’mon, no cable!?! That’s just inhumane! 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1529 In ten minutes we get reruns of 'The PTL Club'. Then the real Hell begins. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1530 I guess this means we’re in Purgatory. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1531 I sold mine for a bitcoin, what'd you sell yours for? 1.3304 0.06134 112 86 15 11
1532 An eternity of watching television... this really is hell. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
1533 When the cable's out we watch the Yule Log... and the cable's always out. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1534 I’m skeptical this global warming protest will have any impact. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1535 I've seen this one already. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1536 It's the yule log from hell. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1537 I've heard it gets better after the third season. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1538 Count yourself lucky we got purgatory; I hear hell has nothing but 24/7 cable news. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1539 Not sure whether this is the reward--or the punishment. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1540 There's only one channel, one show, one episode, and it's all repeats. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1541 My feet are cold. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1542 I've never been to a cable company corporate retreat before. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1543 I bet Heaven has HD. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1544 Could be worse, I heard the ninth circle only shows the news. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1545 Only the worst sinners have to spend eternity without cable. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1546 It's not much different than cable news, but the sick part is that you miss the commercials. 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
1547 I'm just here for the free set of golf clubs you get for sitting through the presentation. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1548 Welcome to Dante's placebo. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1549 I've seen this one before. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1550 Want me to tell you how it ends? 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1551 Apparently, "fire and fury like the world has never seen" plays well down here - it's on every channel. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
1552 I really thought they'd have cable. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1553 I'm not sure about you, but these team building retreats are getting stranger and stranger... 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1554 This freshmen orientation is making me a bit nervous. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1555 Everything is old school down here, but considering where we are the reception is fantastic. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1556 It's a perpetual weather channel. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
1557 It's Trump's State of the Union address. 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1558 Heaven is a 60” 4K flatscreen. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1559 They've really lost their touch lately, but just wait 'till Gina Haspel gets down here. Then we'll see some torture. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1560 Welcome to FOX AND FRIENDS! 1.3304 0.06638 112 90 7 15
1561 It's a made for TV version of Dante's Inferno. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
1562 It's eternal reruns of the Yule log. 1.3304 0.06134 112 86 15 11
1563 I’m so glad I remembered my glasses. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
1564 Purgatory was so much more interesting. 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
1565 It picks up after the first season. 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1566 It's the televangelists again 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
1567 Are you enjoying the reception? 1.3301 0.05234 103 72 28 3
1568 Orientation is taking forever. 1.3274 0.05097 113 80 29 4
1569 Rabbit ears and a CRT. This really is hell. 1.3274 0.05097 113 80 29 4
1570 This is Hell! No remote and rabbit ears! 1.3274 0.05821 113 85 19 9
1571 The dammed take a quick break to watch coverage of the Trump administration... 1.3274 0.05821 113 85 19 9
1572 This isn't so bad! I thought for orientation you had to sit through some godawful long poem. 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
1573 I never would've guessed that Hell would have a weather channel. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
1574 Now, where in the hell did I put the remote?! 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1575 If you want to see the corrupt politicians dunked in boiling tar, you have to subscribe to Netflix. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1576 It's actually the power of suggestion that makes it so hot down here. 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1577 At least we've moved on from fake news to the naked truth! 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1578 I'm new here. When does the screaming part begin? 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
1579 Of course this is hell ... that's an analog TV! 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
1580 I hate when they show you everything in the previews. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1581 Thank God those flames aren't real. 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
1582 Evidently the televangelists were wrong about the Rapture. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1583 Wow - no cable, satellite, or streaming; and no remote. We are in Hell! 1.3273 0.06342 110 86 12 12
1584 No high definition? This really is Hell. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1585 It’s not so much the heat as it is poor picture resolution that gets to you. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1586 Hell has been outsourced to Fox News 1.3273 0.06342 110 86 12 12
1587 I think I've already seen this episode 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1588 I guess he followed through on the whole “fire and fury” thing. 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
1589 It's not so bad, it's like the Yule Log, but for the unforgiven. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1590 At least it's not the fire place log again. 1.3273 0.05020 110 77 30 3
1591 Just reruns again. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1592 Every time a flame leaps a devil gets its horns. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1593 Man, it feels like we've been watching the same orientation video for 1000 years. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1594 There...right after that third crackle...that's where the tape resets. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1595 Hey, no spoilers! I'm new here. 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1596 ...still, it's nice that we're watching all together. 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1597 This is going to be hell, no internet! 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1598 The demonic iconography would indicate this is a Catholic image, yet our genitals are angled away from the frame in a sop to Puritanical Protestant sensibilities. Also, why does this devil have a trident rather than the traditional pitchfork? 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1599 It really makes you appreciate a real fire. 1.3273 0.05184 110 78 28 4
1600 They only get Fox News down here. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1601 It's the extended forecast on The Weather Channel. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1602 The worst part is the poor image quality. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1603 It's hell with no cable. 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1604 Frankly, I expected worse. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1605 The only remote is upstairs. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1606 We used to get some televangelists, but they're all down here now. 1.3273 0.06073 110 84 16 10
1607 It's either this or Fox News. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1608 This is the only reality show where you want to be the first one voted off the island. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1609 I can’t believe it isn’t set to FOX NEWS. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1610 New here? It's not so bad, now. They used to make us watch Maury. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1611 Do you suppose he tapes Colbert? 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1612 The frackers pumped out all the gas... 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1613 I wonder what they're watching upstairs. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1614 Do you feel a draft..? I feel a draft. 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1615 You think we can fast-forward? 1.3273 0.05184 110 78 28 4
1616 And you’ll all be issued utterly useless remotes. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1617 Remind me again, whats the difference between a Religion and a Cult? 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1618 God, orientation week is such a bore! 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1619 This is the audition for ' Naked and Afraid', right? 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1620 I know a guy who can get us cable down here, but he's a real sleazeball. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1621 As soon as I saw the rabbit ears and the crummy reception, I knew I was in Hell. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1622 Do you feel a draft? 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1623 It's all about reducing carbon dioxide emissions—the devil is in the details. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1624 I think we have to bare our soul as well. 1.3248 0.05126 117 84 28 5
1625 Wanna get out of here? 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1626 Budget cuts. We used to get the real thing. 1.3243 0.05145 111 79 28 4
1627 Now he's claiming he reinvented fire. Another stunning inroad into his Make Hell Great Again blah de blah. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
1628 Marshall McLuhan was right - the medium is the message. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
1629 The weather report is always the same! 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1630 I always wondered what they'd do with a masochist in Hell. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1631 This is something of a reprieve. I left a woman scorned. 1.3241 0.05066 108 76 29 3
1632 All this punishment because of a stupid fig leaf ? 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1633 I guess there's a special place in hell for couch potatoes! 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1634 Apparently, cable and flatscreen are only for the 1% 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1635 Where am I supposed to pin my orientation name tag? 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1636 Cheer up! The previews only last 1000 years. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1637 I prefer the U.K. version. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1638 TV for eternity, that's the punishment. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1639 I always did hate reality TV. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1640 I bet Scott Pruitt will be shocked when he finds out Hades has gone carbon neutral. 1.3241 0.04892 108 75 31 2
1641 I hate these previews of upcoming events! 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1642 Perhaps they have brimstone on another channel. 1.3241 0.06146 108 83 15 10
1643 No, we have 665 other channels, but all they show are “Real Housewives” marathons. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1644 No, really! That's the whole difference, up there they have flat screen. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1645 At first I was skeptical. But this timeshare presentation has me thinking. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1646 AND no WiFi. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1647 Do you think he could turn it up? 1.3241 0.05066 108 76 29 3
1648 You were expecting a flat-screen TV in Hell? 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1649 I love the Yule Log channel. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1650 It's either this or The Bachelor. 1.3241 0.06146 108 83 15 10
1651 ...masochists get only the televised version... 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1652 And you thought I was cheap. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1653 Glasses are useless ‘cause they keep fogging up. 1.3241 0.06146 108 83 15 10
1654 Thank God the State of the Union address is only once a year. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1655 At least we don’t have to watch “The Apprentice” for eternity. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1656 Welcome to the logical conclusion of reality television evolution. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1657 Have you seen the remote control? 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1658 Looks like its going to be another scorcher. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1659 We only get the first season down here. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1660 So Burning in Hell for Eternity is just another reality tv show? 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1661 I knew it! No cable. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1662 I'll always think you're hot. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1663 I guess we all have to play our part in curbing global warming. 1.3241 0.05066 108 76 29 3
1664 No, I don't have the remote in my pocket! 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1665 An old tube TV? That settles it. We're in hell. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1666 Coming up next...Dante’s Inferno...stay tuned 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1667 If you think it’s so bad here keep it up and I’ll send you to the White House! 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1668 We're about to head to the open bar, but first this short presentation about an exciting real estate opportunity! 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1669 At least the weather forcast is always accurate..! 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1670 When we were first dating you used to take me to live shows. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1671 Look on the bright side - we won't be fighting over the remote. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1672 Damn! Looks like the evangelicals were right. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1673 The reception is hell on these old sets. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1674 No, Honey I don't think that's the Yule log! 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1675 Here comes the timeshare pitch. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1676 It 's not as hot as it looks 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1677 I just figured we’d be watching “Keeping up with the Kardashian’s” forever. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1678 That's right, no cable, no remote control, and you have to use the dog ears for reception. Welcome to hell. 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1679 No cable, no color. This really is hell. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1680 Reruns are hell. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1681 If anyone changes the channel they put the Donald on for eternity. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1682 These old tube sets have warmer tones, don't they? 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1683 What's a good girl like you doing here? 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1684 It still beats watching Fox News with my parents in Omaha. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1685 Good morning everyone, and welcome to orientation! 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1686 Satan's decided to go green. Saving a bundle on fuel. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1687 Horrible reception. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1688 Does anyone know how to change the channel? 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1689 This is my first time doing performance art. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1690 Fake news! They’re just warming us up. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1691 I'm not surprised that eternal punishment begins with an employee onboarding video. 1.3241 0.06004 108 82 17 9
1692 It's a virtual Hell here! 1.3235 0.05243 102 72 27 3
1693 Apparently Hell is carbon neutral now. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
1694 White House daily press briefing. 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1695 You know, I think the reception is better down here. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1696 Mind if I change channels? 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1697 The Seventh Circle has cable, but there's nothing on. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
1698 I hear they're running out of room. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1699 Last year's "State of Etenal Damnation Address" took 600 hours. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1700 It’s got the viewing audience of the super bowl, plus you can’t wait for the commercials 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1701 Usually I avoid watching the trailers, I like to be surprised. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1702 And you will not be permitted to pause, rewind or fast forward. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1703 Apparently the fuel bill to run the old fire pit was costing him an arm and a cloven hoof ! 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
1704 It’s either this or Hell’s newest hit show, Chicago Sanitation. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1705 This is worse than Hell! We have to watch Fox! 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1706 This is why it's called Limbo! 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1707 It’s hell without cable. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1708 Coming attractions. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1709 The carbon tax here must be hell. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1710 Who needs to watch "Naked & Afraid" when you can be naked and afraid. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1711 It's this or Fox News. 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1712 Must be a cooking channel. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1713 Typical, we only get the Fireplace Channel. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1714 Lucky we're not in Hawaii. 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1715 Season 1 was better. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1716 funny how I used to hate pledge week and now I miss it 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1717 No one's made it to the end so there's no spoilers! 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1718 The first circle of hell is just fire safety training videos. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1719 We knew it would be bad, but, for the love of GOD we don't even get cable? 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1720 Glad I was able to squeeze into this orientation session. What'd I miss? 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1721 The other place has HD, cable, and a remote that works. 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1722 Showing 'The Naked and The Dead' every night does not mean he's witty. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1723 He keeps promising us a bathroom break at the next commercial. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1724 Pretty good reception down here. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1725 The torture is that there's no remote. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1726 For what I did, I don't deserve to be in the overflow room. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1727 They don't even have cable. It really *is* hell. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1728 His Dad set these parental controls after the Fall. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1729 This is white collar Hell. 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1730 Orientation. 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1731 No cable and only ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN & FOX... this really IS Hell. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1732 He's gone carbon neutral. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1733 Unfortunately, it's not fake news. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1734 During orientation you will learn it is not so much the heat as it is the humidity. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1735 You will now be divided into four groups as follows. Rare, medium rare, medium and well done. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1736 I swear to God touch me one more time and I'll call him over! 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1737 We only get one channel, it's Hillary's burning emails. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1738 Eh, the book was better 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1739 No more actual brimstone; blame legal. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1740 The reception is good but the content is hell. 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1741 What in Hell are we watching? 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1742 This isn't exactly the reception I expected.... 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1743 No flat screen? Now I know we're in hell. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1744 Actually, you don't get the full experience without the smell of brimstone. 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1745 I heard that this part of the orientation lasts 1000 years. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1746 Is this the prequel? 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1747 The GOOD news is that you’ll have TV. The BAD news is that you’ll have TV. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1748 The Rapture will be televised. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1749 I hate it when he makes us watch the news 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1750 This show is so hot right now. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1751 So this is where all the ratings are coming from. 1.3208 0.05286 106 76 26 4
1752 So is this today's weather or the forecast? 1.3200 0.05840 100 74 20 6
1753 The reception isn't great, but we also get Fox News down here. 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
1754 On Christmas they switch to the yule log! 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
1755 Good thing you’re not in that shithole 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1756 Is it me, or has Satan been absolutely insufferable ever since he landed the deal with Netflix? 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
1757 Eternal Damnation Yule Log ... Priceless. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1758 This is just until they complete the natural gas installation. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
1759 But there weren't enough of us to help him win the popular vote 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
1760 The real sin here is analog TV. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
1761 Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, now we have to watch 'Reality TV in Hell'. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1762 Note to Sartre: Hell is TV without cable. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1763 The worst part is there are no subtitles 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1764 It's like the new museum but without the exit through the gift shop. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1765 I was a fixer for a major client. And you? 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1766 Hannity isn't even trying anymore 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1767 I thought this was a place for rich people. 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1768 So what, they just alternate this and The Jersey Shore? 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1769 Well it is better than the View. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1770 Oh, great, more reruns. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1771 I heard that this is just temporary...till the icecaps are melted 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1772 The picture is great! It’s almost as if we are there. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1773 At the commercial break we get to watch infomercials for 170 years. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1774 The first season was so much better. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1775 The only channel we get down here is FOX News. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1776 You really do know this is hell. No cable, just rabbit ears and the same damn channel. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1777 "...devilishly funny.." Peter Travers, Rolling Stone 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1778 This place seems to be outdated. Wanna get the hell outta here? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1779 You know, I thought watching C-SPAN was painful enough. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1780 Commercial free is not always a good thing. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1781 The orientation IS hell. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1782 Forget about the outdated television, I thought there'd be more be more Black people here. 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1783 At least they don't get cable news down here. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1784 It doesn't really pack the same punch on the small screen. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1785 Rabbit ears. Now there's your real hell. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1786 From what I hear,viewer discretion is advised. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1787 In Purgatory we just get the trailer. 1.3173 0.04976 104 73 29 2
1788 One channel and there's nothing to see. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1789 It was either this or Fox & Friends. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1790 This is only the 6th Level. The 7th makes you deal with cable. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1791 I can't say much for their customer service, but it's a helluva improvement over Comcast's. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1792 At least on the other channels you get snow. 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1793 No matter what he says, don't pull his tail. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1794 Ugh. Reality TV again tonight. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1795 Looks like our Amazon Fire account runs through eternity. 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1796 So far so good--no long PowerPoints and no icebreaker games. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1797 It's a commercial for your new home; it runs twenty-four seven. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1798 I’m surprised how good the reception is down here. 1.3173 0.05161 104 74 27 3
1799 Oh this again, I've seen this a least thousand times. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1800 Welcome to orientation. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1801 He’s just trying to scare us. It’s only a movie on a crappy old TV. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1802 You know, I directed this. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1803 Did I miss Judge Judy? 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1804 Well, looks like Sartre got it all wrong ! 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1805 Of course, no cable. 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1806 Must be Christmas Eve. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1807 I think I'm in the wrong orientation session. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1808 Must be Purgatory. Hell would be Trump. 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1809 I heard the new torture is having to watch & listen to a Sarah Huckabee Sanders press briefing...on a loop... 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1810 And there's no way to "skip ad". 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1811 It’s worse than I thought. 24 hours a day of Fox News. 1.3173 0.06447 104 82 11 11
1812 I just hope there are no ads. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1813 Tomorrow we watch C-Span. 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1814 Not one of us is really looking at the TV. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1815 I wish it was fake news. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1816 I hear he's working on a syndication deal with Fox. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1817 How did you end up in economy class? 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1818 I hear heaven has cable. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1819 If it were heaven, that'd be a digital flat screen. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1820 Isn't this a bit of overkill? 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1821 When he's mad, he switches it to "Everybody Loves Raymond." 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1822 I brought a doctor's note to Jury Duty, too, and they didn't make me stay for Orientation. Just saying... 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1823 The naked truth ... this is virtual hell! 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1824 I heard that in the 8th Circle, the only thing you get to watch are "The Apprentice" reruns. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1825 He'd probably get more heat if he put a little tin foil on the antenna. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1826 To hell with Amazon Fire TV. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1827 Standby for words from Donald F. Trump. 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1828 What are you doing after the movie? 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1829 I was prepared for the heat, but standard definition? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1830 I hate re-runs... 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1831 We should have researched the timeshare before we took the free vacation. 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1832 I've seen this one before, it's another re-heat. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1833 In Heaven they have a 60 inch flat screen 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1834 TV helps me take my mind off of things. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1835 What the Hell? 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1836 They switch it to the Yule Log once a year, but in July, just to mess with us. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1837 Could be a lot worse, like old Lawrence Welk shows. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1838 Anybody seen the remote? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1839 It's more consuming than I expected. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1840 The safety videos always bore me. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1841 Thinking 'bout changing my church membership. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1842 Think he'd turn on the ball game if I asked nicely? 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1843 At least it's real news. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1844 I'm not sure the network is ready for "Naked Apprentices". 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1845 Apparently there's also a special place in hell for nudists. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1846 You're a newbie? Well, we've just completed 400 years of 24/7 Gilligan's Island reruns. Next is The Apprentice. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1847 It used to be a PowerPoint. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1848 I know our EPA boss says we have to watch FOX, but did they have to take our clothes too? 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1849 I've seen it before. It's not so hot. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1850 It's this or Fox. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1851 Even Hades accepts climate change as a reality. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1852 The ultimate punishment...Reality TV! 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1853 This may be a case where the movie is actually better than the book! 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1854 And right when this orientation was looking promising. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1855 If I knew we couldn't get cable I would have behaved better. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1856 I always saw Lucifer as a Fox News kinda guy. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1857 No cable! What the hell? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1858 It only gets PBS 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1859 Eternity is a long replay 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1860 This next bit's my favorite. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1861 Wait, and you are sure we are not in the White House? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1862 I was pretty confident we would be able to get Fox News down here. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1863 I heard the orientation makes it seem worse than it is. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1864 I'm actually a fan of reality TV. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1865 Next up: 30 continuous days of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1866 It's not as bad as having to watch reruns of The Apprentice. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1867 I'm more confused than ever about this whole purgatory thing. 1.3163 0.05542 98 71 23 4
1868 No, I think the punishment here is that it's an old model tube television. 1.3163 0.06255 98 75 15 8
1869 Anything less than 3840 x 2160 pixels is hell for me. 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
1870 It's called "The Insurance Channel." 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
1871 I hear if you don't behave, they send you back. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1872 We’ll damn! The rumors about hell being owned by the cable companies are true! 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
1873 In Heaven, I hear it's fluffy clouds on HD Flat Screens. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1874 I am naked and afraid. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1875 Who says this is worse than trying to unsubscribe from Comcast? 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
1876 In an act of pure torture, the devil played fire and brimstone on TV instead of the royal wedding. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1877 The first season was so much better. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
1878 I bet you I can flip this place in a week with an upgraded home theater system and central air install. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1879 Damn, another rerun. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1880 Reruns, again? It's like they want us to suffer. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
1881 Hey, I love the Yule Log! 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1882 For an orientation video, the production values aren't bad. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1883 Well, it's better than Fox. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
1884 They said there was a special place for television show critics... 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
1885 I didn't realize pre-marital counseling was so intense. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
1886 Actually, this isn’t the hellish part. Just wait for Fox News to begin. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1887 I hate reality TV. 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
1888 Last week it was reruns of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" and "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
1889 I've been to worse orientations. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
1890 Direct feed to Fox News...this is hell! 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
1891 You'll receive a certificate when you complete your orientation. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
1892 I hate when people force you to watch their favorite TV show. 1.3143 0.05296 105 76 25 4
1893 To be honest, I never saw boobs on Earth. 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1894 It's not even HD. Can it get any worse? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1895 God I'd kill to watch The Crown right now. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1896 I didn't know that watching the world go up in flames would get such high ratings. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1897 Heaven must have cable. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1898 If that is all hell is, it was worth it. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1899 Huh - more fake news. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1900 It's an orientation video. I'm told it's narrated by the President. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1901 In heaven they get flatscreens. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1902 I guess the cable deal I sold my soul for expired when I died. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1903 The recession sure is hitting Hell hard. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1904 They’re trying to reduce global warming 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1905 I don’t know what’s worse — being naked or having Spectrum as our cable provider. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1906 Forced to stand and watch the Weather Channel forever... about what I expected. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1907 It's like the holiday yule log video only with brimstone. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1908 Well, where would you hide the remote? 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1909 It's exactly like they pictured it on TV. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1910 reality tv. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
1911 The cable companies are in a different circle of Hell. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1912 Their virtual reality isn't exactly cutting-edge, is it? 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1913 Yes, you are dead, and this is hell, so, abandon all hope and uh yada yada yada. Shut up and watch the orientation program already! 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1914 Are they serving lunch after the promotional video, or do we have to listen to him pitch the place as well? 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1915 They're going to force us to watch "Towering Inferno" in black & white. 1.3137 0.05210 102 73 26 3
1916 We got a much better view than the folks who are going to be looking at the side of the TV for eternity. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1917 Reality TV has gone to hell. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1918 You have to watch the sales pitch to get the free vacation. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1919 Aw, hell, I think it’s a rerun! 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1920 I got here late, but it think it's the "Coming Attractions". 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1921 Don’t you hate it when the previews gives away the ending? 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1922 On the plus side, it's commercial-free. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1923 It'll be much worse once they get HDTV... 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
1924 I hope he votes me off on tonight's episode. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1925 Don't worry about the picture quality. ?Beelzebub announced that the cable installer would be here between 8 a.m. and eternity. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1926 I don’t remember reading about this in the Terms and Conditions. 1.3137 0.06382 102 80 12 10
1927 Seriously? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1928 The smoke alarm kept going off. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1929 In Heaven the streets are lined with 110 inch Ultra HD TV's and angels bring you buttered popcorn. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1930 And I thought Satan ran the cable TV industry. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1931 Makes me hot, how about you? 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1932 It’s a documentary about the environment. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1933 Nice of him to ease us into it. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1934 I wrote GEICO ads when I was alive. You? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1935 These days they just make us watch the fireplace channel 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1936 I can handle the heat, but having to watch Fox News is just the worst. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1937 Orientation. I can see why they don't go to a lot of expense. It's a pretty easy concept to grasp. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1938 Let's hope it's fake news. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1939 No! No! It’s just a prelude to the White House press briefing. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1940 The worst part is finding out that Hell hasn't gone digital yet. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1941 Don't worry folks. IT'S DRY HEAT! 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1942 Local news — always with such doom and gloom. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1943 All this plasma here and He can’t manage to scare up a flat screen tv? 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1944 amazing reception for rabbit ears 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1945 I have had enough of this reality TV! 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1946 Spoiler Alert. It doesn’t end well. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1947 I'm just glad it's not another 'Roseanne' rerun. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1948 I heard they have all the cable channels in heaven. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1949 It really doesn't live up to the hype. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1950 I hear that in the seventh circle they have Netflix 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1951 Something tells me this isn’t fake news. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1952 The fire orientation is very retro, but I heard the brimstone orientation is a multimedia extravaganza! 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1953 No, actually, this is Hellish. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1954 It's really not that different from home. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1955 It's less painful than I had imagined, but more depressing. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1956 They did say that the timeshare pitch would be for a hell of a trip to a hotspot destination. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1957 I never knew how much I'd miss cable. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1958 The cable is down, surprise 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1959 I never imagined it would be this chilly here. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1960 I don't think we really need a preview. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1961 Today's forecast: Hot with a 20% chance of brimstone 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1962 This is kinda nice. The wife and I used to watch a Yule Log on TV around the holidays. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1963 Hell is not having cable. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1964 Don’t worry the pilot is always the worst episode 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1965 This really is hell....no cable! 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1966 I totally just saw where the loop started again. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1967 It's definitely hell because there's no remote. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1968 I heard heaven has a 52" flat panel. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1969 I can't change it! Someone's stolen the remote. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1970 I’m beginning to think this fire and brimstone talk is fake news 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1971 The genius of this place is not having a remote. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1972 You would think he could afford a flatscreen. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1973 When I first got here I was relieved, but after a while it's as boring as hell. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1974 You are hot. So am I. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1975 Mind telling me what the hell is going on? 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1976 These virtual tours are okay but they just don't capture the soul of eternal damnation. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1977 It's just not the same experience when viewed online. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1978 For every show, from Walking Dead to Game of Thrones, they cut the last ten minutes. I tell you, it's hell. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1979 Hey, it could be worse. In the innermost circle they have to stand on stilettos and watch The Kardashians for eternity. 1.3137 0.06382 102 80 12 10
1980 Clothed captioning is only available on the upstairs TV. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
1981 Do you think they get cable in heaven? 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1982 Okay...the fight against global warming has gotten seriously out of hand! 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1983 Every so often the antenna picks up brimstone. 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1984 ¨Who keeps telling him not to change it?¨ 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1985 I heard they have flat screens in heaven. I shouldn't have used the carpool lane alone... 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1986 Turns out, the worst thing really is waiting for the cable guy. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1987 I hear you get an iPod in heaven. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1988 Welcome to Hell, it’s cable with only one channel! 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1989 On Tuesday’s we watch Backdraft. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1990 What the hell... no flat screen!? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1991 Don't say a word otherwise it's back to Fox News! 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1992 It's called "Hell on Earth". It's our favorite show since Trump took office. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
1993 This movie is making me hot! 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1994 He's saving tons with this fire video since the price of oil went up. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1995 24/7 newstainment...this must be hell. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1996 Coming up next: brimstone! 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1997 It's mandatory viewing once every thousand years. Seems the people in HR just don't get it. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1998 I hear the other place has Hulu. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1999 Do we have to watch is vacation videos again? 1.3137 0.05210 102 73 26 3
2000 Don’t even think about changing the channel. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
2001 Wow! Great reception for rabbit ears! 1.3125 0.05795 96 71 20 5
2002 Oh, we're in Hell alright; not only is that not a flat screen, it's the only channel. 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
2003 Sound is terrible, but it's a Hell of a picture! 1.3111 0.06447 90 69 14 7
2004 Fox News would have been hell. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2005 Beats watching the news. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2006 I never liked the Yule log much either 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2007 These time-share presentations are hell! 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2008 Down here you can't expect more than local programming. 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2009 At least they let me keep my glasses for this. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2010 Actually, I would rather be cast into a real lake of fire. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2011 It's a lot cheaper than keeping those fires going constantly. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2012 A blatant violation of net neutrality. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2013 One person sues Hell one time, and now we all have to attend the annual safety presentation. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2014 It looks a lot less scary on a black and white TV. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2015 That's right. 66 episodes of Game of Thrones... we will never play the 67th. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2016 When Millenials said we Baby Boomers would go to Hell for what we did to the environment, they weren't kidding. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2017 We finally got it-nothing is real to us unless we see it on TV. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2018 Who'd a thought we'd be the one's to benefit from global warming?! 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2019 No cable and a small vintage '50s TV. Yeah, it's hell. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2020 “Heat rises, so they get global warming up top and mark my words, we’ll start to freeze down here”. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2021 Anywhere else and all we'd get would be snow. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2022 McLuhan was obviously wrong, but I didn't think I'd learn it this way. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2023 It's Hell alright. Not even flat screen TV. 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
2024 This is the snowball episode. One of my favorites. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2025 ...ZERO plot development. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2026 See? Even hell signed the Paris Agreement. That was our Downfall. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2027 It could be worse - they could play Fox News. 1.3100 0.06308 100 78 13 9
2028 You know those old tube sets gave off a lot of heat. 1.3100 0.04861 100 70 29 1
2029 Of course it's Hell. They don't have cable. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2030 I'm not afraid and I'm available for infinity. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2031 I think this new format of "Fox and Friends" really sizzles. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2032 How is this different? 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2033 Flat screens and cable would be heaven. 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
2034 Well this a let down. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2035 Nothing but white people and basic cable, clearly this is hell. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2036 After the introductory video , we pair off and resume sinning. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2037 I heard that people started complaining about the smoke so the board was forced to make changes. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2038 Enough Weather Channel already. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2039 Well, this is one benefit to the soaring price of oil. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2040 The forecast for tonight is extra crispy! 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2041 So, THIS is hot sex. It's worse than I thought 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2042 Rumor has it they’re watching Roseanne in heaven. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2043 The worst part is there is an ad every 5 minutes. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2044 At least it's commercial-free. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2045 "Naked and Afraid' is wickedly popular down here. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2046 If we want the Super Bowl we have to put up with the local ads. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2047 Last time we only had to throw our books in. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2048 You wanna Netflix and burn in hell tonight? 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2049 I sold my soul to cable tv when I was 12. How about you? 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2050 These YouTube instructional videos really are helpful 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2051 The people of the United States gathering to watch Trump's State of the Union address 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
2052 This must be Hell. No cable! 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2053 It's official. Trump is the only person anywhere not trying to reduce carbon emissions. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
2054 That's why it's called Hell. There's only one channel and only one show. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
2055 This IS Hell! --3 channels with nothing on. 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
2056 Just what I expected. All commercials. 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
2057 When the commercials come on, they try to sell you Kool-Aid 1.3077 0.05810 104 79 18 7
2058 Is Gordon Ramsay going to come out? 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2059 It's like his soul's not in this anymore. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2060 It’s something called Honey Boo Boo. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2061 None of us read the fine print on that Amazon Fire stick. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2062 All their pants were on fire, and the news covered it. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2063 With all that fracking up top, they ran out of things to burn. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2064 I find the fake flames kind of tacky, but he says the gas bill was getting out of hand. 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
2065 Climate change, my ass! 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
2066 Reality tv for eternity - my personal hell. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2067 Try thinking of it as a Yule log, 24/365. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2068 This is NOT what it looked like in the brochure... 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2069 I've already seen this one 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2070 Beelzebub said it’s to minimize our carbon footprint. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2071 My lawyer says I'll be out in 3 months. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2072 'You'll burn in hell,' " was a little overstated, wasn't it? 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2073 Dang! I already saw this one! 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2074 Apparently Hell doesn't have cable, either. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2075 I heard they get basic cable in Limbo. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2076 My parents warned me there was only one channel down here. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2077 I know the guy that directed this. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2078 I’m glad we all get together to watch Flame Of Thrones. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2079 Hi, I'm Stu. I'm a sagittarius, love cats, and cultural immersion vacations. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2080 I really need a hearing aid- I thought she told me to go to Haiti... 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2081 Grey's Anatomy has gotten ridiculous. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2082 The weather report is for continued hot. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2083 Hell is a TV with only one channel. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2084 Rabbit ears! When was the last time you saw rabbit ears! 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2085 I’ve been to better orientation sessions 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2086 One channel for eternity? I should have been a better person. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2087 No Netflix. Figures. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2088 Who the H..E.. double hockey sticks died and made this guy lord of the under world? 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2089 It’s just a fireplace video he’s using while he switches to geothermal. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2090 Oh no. It’s that damned Yule log again. 1.3061 0.05109 98 70 26 2
2091 You know you're in Hell when you only get one channel on the box. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2092 Orientation Day video. Ugh! This is gonna be hell. 1.3061 0.04899 98 69 28 1
2093 This OSHA safety video is supposed to be 15 minutes long, but it feels like an eternity! 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2094 Once again, it's going to be a scorcher. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2095 I'll be damned. It's the Yule Log. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2096 Just as I suspected, no remote. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2097 Of course I think you're hot...... 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2098 Ever since the election it’s been too cold to go outside. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2099 If I new it was going to be like this I would have been a lot badder. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2100 These public service announcements are always about fire safety. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2101 We call it "Netflix and Burn." 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2102 It's worse than I imagined... No cable! 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2103 Apparently they've got flat screens in the other place 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2104 This program may contain some nudity. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2105 I guess this means that hell has finally frozen over, huh? 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2106 I heard God let’s his souls watch Judge Judy 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
2107 These safety training videos always crack me up 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
2108 Bah...another reality show... 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2109 Orientation videos - seen one, seen them all... 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2110 This is where we came in 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2111 It came down to paying the gas or the cable bill. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2112 Hell is not having cable and all you get is reruns of the apocalypse. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2113 The accommodations are OK, but the reception is lousy. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2114 And I found out about my eternal damnation via text message. 1.3061 0.06553 98 78 10 10
2115 Wow. They're using an Amazon fire stick. 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
2116 We can pick this or Roseanne. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2117 Oh cool, I love this show! 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2118 I would have lived my life differently if I'd known there was no basic cable. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2119 OMG, it's worst than I feared, It's black and white only. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2120 It's horrid. And they won't let us see the first season. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2121 I hear they have cable in heaven. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2122 Analog? What kind of hellhole is this?! 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2123 This must be Heaven... heh heh... boobs. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2124 I heard NBC picked up another eternity of this after it got cancelled. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2125 Things certainly have changed down here ever since the Cubs won the World Series. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2126 Well, at least there aren't any commercials on Hellovision... 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2127 It reminds me of our honeymoon cruise and the only DVD they had was Titanic. 1.3061 0.04899 98 69 28 1
2128 It was on TLC, but we complained. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2129 I find his rallies very motivating - if he can get elected president, then any of us can. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2130 I love The Real Housewives of Hades 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2131 Down here, they can only pick up three channels: Fox, Home Shopping Network, and the Yule Log. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2132 I'll play the devils advocate and say its the weather channel. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2133 I still don't understand what this has to do with white privilege. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2134 I heard they're cutting down on heating costs 1.3061 0.06390 98 77 12 9
2135 These timeshare presentations really are hellish 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2136 So, hell is having no cable. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2137 Hell gets 300 channels and it’s flames on every one of them! 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2138 It's to reduce their carbon emissions. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2139 These timeshare promotions keep getting more intense. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2140 Well, at least it's better than watching Fox News 1.3061 0.06553 98 78 10 10
2141 Don’t tell him it’s a rerun. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2142 It's not as bad as I thought it would be, and yet, it's also kinda worse. 1.3061 0.06223 98 76 14 8
2143 I don't know about you, but the laugh track really takes me out of the moment. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
2144 There are no flatscreens in hell. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2145 It is truly hell without cable. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2146 I mean, how cheap can you get? 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
2147 Hell is not having a remote. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2148 Yeah, but it's a hell of a channel! 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2149 This is good. I was afraid Bill O’Reilly would be doing orientation. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2150 I guess we really are in Hell... they don't even have basic cable. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2151 And now,a word from our sponsor. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2152 They get 60" flat screens up in Purgatory. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2153 Budget Cuts 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2154 Your AccuWeather forecast says it's going to be hotter than hell today. 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
2155 An "Introduction to Hell" video? What a thoughtful gesture toward us atheists! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2156 Now, we just have to watch this quick fire-safety video before we can start all of the fun. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2157 These timeshare videos are so boring. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2158 He's trying to cut down on CO2 emissions 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2159 They can't get cable. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2160 It would look a lot worse in HD. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2161 And, on cable we get The Omen , and , one day per year , we get to watch the Yule Log. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2162 Well, at least we have the Yule Log channel. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
2163 Don't complain or he'll put on C-Span. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2164 OH HECK! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2165 Oh no! It's another Trump rally! 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2166 This is the first circle. Second circle, Home Shopping Network. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2167 I produced “Project Runway”. You? 1.3021 0.06475 96 76 11 9
2168 It kinda reminds me of the Yule Log we used to watch on Christmas Eve. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2169 He always shows his vacation videos at this time of year. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2170 This is the special hell for baby boomers. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2171 You think this is punishing? Wait until the car insurance commercials start. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2172 Next, they will tell us it is freezing over! 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2173 There's a lower level for advanced sinners. Down there they show non-stop commercials. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2174 It's not the heat, it's the humidity 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2175 If I knew we wouldn't have HD, I would've paid more attention to those commandments... 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2176 It's probably a lot more effective in the theater in IMAX with multi-channel sound and big subwoofers. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2177 It's fake torment. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2178 We lucked out, channel 56 is showing penguins walking on their own excrement. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
2179 At least we have VHF. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2180 200 channels and nothing on. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2181 It's a cost-cutting measure. The price of burning sulfur has gone thru the.. whatever they have here for a roof. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2182 This is a short preview of your ultimate destination. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2183 “I hear they’re having trouble making a sequel because this one’s eternal. 1.3021 0.06475 96 76 11 9
2184 Of course, the worst part are the commercials. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2185 Damn, it's the Yule Log. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2186 It's going to be hell down here without cable. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2187 He’s calling this reality TV 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2188 You'd think it would at least be in colour. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2189 No, it's just like heaven here, but without cable. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2190 This movie goes on forever. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2191 You can literally feel the heat, can't you? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2192 It beats watching FOX. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2193 I hope this first date isn't moving too fast for you. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2194 Analog TV? We really ARE in hell! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2195 It's virtually hell 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2196 I guess you know you're in hell when you realize you've avoided every opportunity to look good naked, and this is the result. That, and there's only one channel... 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2197 Don't let the hot flames get to you, after midnight we get snow. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2198 It's not even in HD! Now I know what hell is! 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2199 It's pledge week. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2200 We thought it was going to be in color. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2201 Looks like a lot of people went through hell to get into this program. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2202 Real Housewives of Hell is on next 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2203 Relax, it’s a nudist colony. What the hell can go wrong? 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2204 Same old hellfire, brimstone and eternal damnation. Nothing but reruns again. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2205 Yes, but after we learned they only get C-SPAN in the other place, no one really complains here anymore. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2206 Welcome to Heck. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2207 I bet heaven is just as over-hyped. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2208 At least, there are no commercials. That would be torture. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2209 I so hate it when the trailer reveals all the best scenes. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2210 As a loyal viewer of Fox & Friends, how bad can it be? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2211 The real hell is watching the ads before the video starts. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2212 I would have been a better person if I'd known hell was an eternity without streaming and only one local channel to watch. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2213 I can't believe we lost the remote 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2214 No one here has ever paid for Netflix. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2215 You'd better wake up Donald. Fox & Friends is about to start. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2216 Eternal flames I could take, but eternal re-runs? 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2217 No 4K 80 inch flat screen? This really is Hell. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2218 What will burn our eyes is this old screen resolution. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2219 Break's over. Back to Fox News. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
2220 You'd think he could afford an HDTV. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2221 Here we go with another episode of Satan’s Got Talent. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2222 Looks like we have the correct attire! 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2223 I hope it warms up after orientation! 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2224 Has anyone tried adjusting the brightness control? 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2225 I can’t remember. Is it a virtual or literal hell in here? 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2226 This isn't the Disco Inferno I was expecting. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2227 Is this virtual reality? 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2228 Who knew the budget cuts would reach these depths? 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2229 What? One channel...one program...!?! This IS pure hell! 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2230 They said it would be just like we were there... 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2231 I've heard it gets better in season two. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2232 Welcome to virtual hell. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2233 Hell of a show. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2234 Breaking news, my ass. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2235 This isn't even the worst part. They don't have free wifi. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2236 Fake news - they didn't get the climate change update - hell WILL be freezing over. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2237 I never thought I would say this, but let's get dressed and find cable. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2238 You’d expect Lucifer to have cable. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2239 And yet no one cares the TSA has gone this far. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2240 I wish he would get to the brimstone channel already. 1.2979 0.04978 94 67 26 1
2241 When Amazon asked me to test its Fire TV, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2242 Trust me, this beats the Kardashians. 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
2243 This is what's waiting for Fox News. 1.2979 0.06563 94 75 10 9
2244 In Heaven they have flat screens and videos of clouds. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2245 He’s obviously never been to Burning Man. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2246 And I thought cable was hell. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2247 I wish I had known about the seven-hour orientation before I pulled the trigger. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2248 Furnace went down so we’re forced to binge watch. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2249 The TV reception is better than we had at the White House. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2250 Actually, I'm not sure which is worse 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2251 I was bad in a conventional sort of way, but if I had known that the whole fire and brimstone thing would be televised and not real, I think I would have pushed my badness factor way beyond conventional. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2252 It’s an economy package, just Fox and the other local channels. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2253 You think in hell we'd at least get a flat screen 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2254 I’m just here for the free buffet. 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
2255 I'm sorta enjoying this. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2256 They were right about hell but embarrassingly wrong about the fire. 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
2257 Who knew budget cuts would have a plus side. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2258 I always said 'hell is not being able to change the channel on a rerun.' 1.2979 0.05202 94 68 24 2
2259 He’s hitting all the targets now for reduced emissions. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2260 Lacks verisimilitude. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2261 I was told we'd be watching "The Naked and the Dead." 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2262 Great! I love coming attractions. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2263 And mom said,"Be sure to wear clean underwear!" 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2264 Thank God that I don't see my parents - and that we get Fox News down here. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2265 It just hasn't been the same since the budget cuts 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2266 The real hell is having to deal with rabbit ears again. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2267 Slow tv, a homogenous crowd, liberal nudity? I swear, it used to be heavenly to be Danish. 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
2268 It's okay, but the book was better. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2269 What the hell are we watching tonight? 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2270 This orientation video is kinda depressing. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2271 I guess Satan is trying to reduce his carbon hoofprint. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2272 You don't realize how much you miss high-definition until you don't have it. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2273 This is the part where fire burns for eternity. Spoiler alert. 1.2979 0.05202 94 68 24 2
2274 I told you they don't have cable. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2275 I'm not sure this orientation video is necessary. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2276 Like drinking hot tea in summer - it'll make you feel cooler. 1.2979 0.04978 94 67 26 1
2277 Baby Boomers don't need to experience the real thing -- they find that televised flames are just as effective. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2278 This must be that cold day in hell that my wife kept talking about. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2279 He calls it reality TV. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2280 It's like that classic Yule log fireplace program - only with more torture. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2281 There's no choice. All programs are titled Burn in Hell. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2282 I understand they have HDTVs in heaven. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2283 Who died and made him God? 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2284 It minimizes our carbon footprint. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2285 I don't know why, but watching the evening news always depresses me. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2286 We are doomed to watch the Christmas log for eternity! 1.2979 0.06563 94 75 10 9
2287 Thank heavens, there are no commercials! 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2288 We've been acquired by Sinclair. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2289 It's Sean Hannity's new graphic. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2290 Scary stuff, but Shark Week is coming in 2 days. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2291 Broadcast? Non-HD? This IS Hell. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2292 Rabbit ears? Seriously? 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2293 Why do they bother? Does anyone actually watch TV in the waiting room? 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2294 It's a rerun. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2295 It was either this or The Disney Channel. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2296 They start with the fire. Then the fury. But its all rather derivative. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2297 I always seem to be in the overflow crowd. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2298 Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Fox News, and Trump's tweets...this is hell! 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2299 World's on fire, let's watch TV 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2300 Sure the last resort had cable, but this place seems more upfront about the costs. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2301 That’s one hell of a show. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2302 Fox’s fake flames. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2303 Now what do we do for fun? The TV’s gone to hell! 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
2304 I wasn't expecting a full display of the nether regions. 1.2959 0.06190 98 77 13 8
2305 Next time we Netflix and chill. 1.2949 0.07093 78 62 9 7
2306 Who would ever think that eating one apple could cause all of this? 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2307 This is where people go who complain about cable. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2308 Guessing we shouldn’t ask about broadband. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2309 This must be Hell, they're making us watch on an analog TV. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2310 I believe he said we will have to watch Fox News all day. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2311 Apparently all these fires were releasing a lot of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2312 After the video, want to get out of here and have a drink? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2313 Let's get the hell out of here 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2314 I hear this show just got picked up for another eternity of seasons. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2315 Whenever Paul Ryan's on they call us up here to watch 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2316 Who knew that eternity too was virtual? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2317 Is that it? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2318 When I said my idea of hell is not having a flat panel HDTV, I did not realize this would be taken so literally... 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2319 It's the same on every channel. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2320 Sure as hell he's not forking over for cable. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2321 It should be cooler when we get there, they say that television adds 20 degrees. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2322 I remember when there was fire everywhere and a Hershey's Bar only cost a nickel! 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2323 A cost savings move by Corporate. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2324 Agreed, its not much on ambiance but so much better for air quality. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2325 See everyone wants to be a director,...don’t say anything but he’s no Hitchcock. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2326 I still only hear 'Laurel.' 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2327 When you live with millions of accountants, sooner or later you're going to make cuts. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2328 We can't complain too much. At least they have an Amazon fire stick. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2329 we are, after all, genetically programmed to gather round the fire. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2330 Looks like limbo isn't so bad at all. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2331 That may be so, but wait until they realize it’s on an infinite loop. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2332 I know he's famous for "YOU'RE FIRED", but I never thought he really meant "GO TO HELL." 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2333 Eternal reruns of the Trump presidency, it's the new hell. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2334 I’m really getting tired of porn. Let’s toast some marshmellows. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2335 Did they say what time the Yankee's game starts? 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2336 I'm so tired of reality television 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2337 These are vanity glasses. I can see just fine. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2338 Orientation is hell. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2339 Is it just me or is it warm in here? 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2340 I told you, it's non-stop fake news. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2341 Hard to believe rabbit ears work here. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2342 I'd really like to twist those knobs one last time. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2343 The power of suggestion is not working. I still feel chilled. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2344 Everlasting fire just became too resource-intensive. 1.2935 0.06473 92 73 11 8
2345 Funny thing is, it totally dominates its time slot. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2346 For the holidays he throws in a Yule log. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2347 If I knew it was going to be like this, my life on earth would have been a lot rowdier. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2348 It’s okay in December, otherwise the Yule Log gets old fast. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2349 It's his answer to the Yule log! 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2350 The programming has really gone to hell. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2351 It's endless and lacks passion, but as adaptations go, I've seen worse. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2352 I hear the cable guy is going to hook us up between 'abandon hope' and 'never.' 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2353 Looks like the Devil got the hell taxed out of him, too. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2354 I've already seen this one on my hand-held. It goes on for an eternity! 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2355 I always enjoy it when Lucifer explores his more conceptual side. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2356 He loves sharing his holiday videos. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2357 . . . and not enough eternal tormentors either. I don't think they were counting on the number of congressmen. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2358 Only one channel? This really is torture! 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2359 My dry cleaner and cable provider are already here. 1.2935 0.06473 92 73 11 8
2360 Can you believe those rabbit ears get a signal down here? 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2361 I"m waiting to see what Fox News has to say about the temperature today. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2362 I kind of like this virtual reality stuff. 1.2935 0.05017 92 66 25 1
2363 I expected the content to be a little more racy. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2364 Don't worry its just a bad dream. There's no way in Hell they could get that good a picture with just rabbit ears. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2365 It's hell not having a remote! 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2366 Poor bastard put his fire and brimstone money into Bitcoin. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2367 This is Hell. No Wi-Fi. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2368 It's my first time here so I'm actually going to find this video pretty informative. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2369 This was absolutely state of the art a few decades before any of us were born. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2370 We watch this for six months then they show Brimstone 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2371 Hell of a timeshare pitch, eh? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2372 I guess we've made it to 'a kinder, gentler' level of Hell. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2373 This is so much better than the real thing. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2374 Seriously, do we all really think the weather for tomorrow will be any different? 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2375 Apparently all performance artists end up in this place. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2376 If you prefer reality TV to PBS, this is the place for you. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2377 Frankly, I think the parties have declined with Hef gone 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2378 ¨This reminds me of a bender of sorts I had in college¨ 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2379 I think we picked the wrong door. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2380 Don't you feel that this infomercial last an eternity? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2381 Actually, I'm not in that much of a rush to get into the main chamber. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2382 Do you come here often ? 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2383 It may not be "fair and balanced" but at least it isn't fake news. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2384 Today’s temperature is heating up to a high of “Hot As Hell” 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
2385 And the worst is, they only show Fox News ! 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
2386 What made you decide to audition for 'Naked and Afraid' ? 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2387 Not another episode of As the World Burns- can’t we at least have cable. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2388 Everything went to hell after they repealed net neutrality. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2389 Rumor has it in the 9th circle they get Fox News. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2390 I have no idea why he's using a 1950s video of a Yule Log instead of his usual real fire. You'll have to ask him about that. After all, the details are in the Devil. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2391 Oh, that... yeah, well they’re trying something new - televised flames are more energy efficient. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2392 I guess the building doesn't allow open flames anymore. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2393 It's the rerun from "Hell." 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2394 EPA shut 'em down; excessive emissions 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2395 Does he know this increases our chance of freezing over? 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2396 I never thought global warming would lead to this. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2397 The State of the Union speech is on next. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2398 Quit complaining. At least it's not the Fox New Channel. 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
2399 Did you watch the Royal wedding? 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2400 A virtual hellfire to cut down on carbon emissions - maybe this is environmentalist heaven. 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
2401 Orientation videos are always the real hell. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2402 what the hell is this? 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2403 It's either this or brimstone. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2404 These budget cuts are getting out of hand. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2405 Welcome to the midterm elections! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2406 Sure, the reality TV is always hell to watch, but not ever having to deal with the cable company makes it seem like heaven. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2407 The heaven channel has a lot less screaming. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2408 It's time for 'What Not To Wear' 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2409 I was really hoping for, ‘The Devil in Miss Jones.’ 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2410 It just got picked up for another billion seasons. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2411 I think you're really hot, but then again, I guess we'll all be soon. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2412 Nah. No fires. Fake News. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2413 Are you here for sexual assault too? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2414 Look on the bright side. At least it’s not the Sean Hannity Show. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2415 I was a media mogul, so yes,... I take this personally. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2416 It's still better than reading a book. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2417 The suspense is killing me. Again. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2418 During the holidays he plays a brightly burning but festive Yule log. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2419 On the bright side, it is better to watch a virtual reality fire, than be in one for all of eternity. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2420 It's turning into a really cold day in hell. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2421 Lookit all the tits! I’m in heaven! 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2422 What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2423 I’m surprised the devil doesn’t have cable 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2424 This isn’t so bad. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2425 Nooooo! Not reality TV! 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2426 No flat screen or cable bothers me more than being naked. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2427 I'll watch the safety video, but I am not signing the release waiver. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2428 Is someone going to tell him we won’t burn in hell this way? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2429 Kilauea. It's their favorite program down here. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2430 The heating bills were out of control. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2431 Netflix and brimstone? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2432 I think it is clear. You vote for some Democrat clown you burn in hell!! 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2433 I appreciate the orientation. I hate surprises. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2434 State media. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2435 Theoretically I understand why people think its demeaning, but a person only gets so many opportunities to work for the White House. Am I right? 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2436 Since Pope Fancis came along, the fires of Hell just haven’t been the same. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2437 The Weather report looks like another hot day. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2438 I'm guessing there's only one channel. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2439 I've always been more sensitive to cold compared to everyone else, that's all 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2440 Hellfire, hellfire. Yada, yada, yada. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2441 Somehow, I thought it would be a little more realistic. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2442 Dante's 10th Circle for Millennials: 20th century TV with antenna 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2443 At noon they turn on the Big Bang Theory. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2444 I guess this is what we get for not reading our cable companies user agreement 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2445 The worst timeshare pitch ever. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2446 I always expected fire and brimstone to be a bit more scary and at least in HD 1.2889 0.06749 90 73 8 9
2447 Maybe the overflow room wasn't such a bad idea. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2448 Hey, I thought you said we weren't going to have to stand though the timeshare pitch? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2449 This is only season 1, episode 1,283,426,735 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2450 Our new zero-emissions heating system 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2451 These fake fires just don't have the feel of the real thing. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2452 At least we're dressed properly. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2453 Don't you just hate being having to be exposed to these orientation videos? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2454 The punishment gets worse. It's soap operas in the afternoon. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2455 I told you it was “Fox”. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2456 God forbid he ever changes the channel. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2457 It's supposed to be a brief presentation, then we can go tour the hot tub 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2458 Well, I'd say it's kind of got a retro, 'Make Hell Malevolent Again', vibe going for it! 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2459 Could be worse — over in the 9th ring they make them watch C-SPAN. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2460 The last thing I was expecting was a health and safety video! 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2461 That’s where our clothes went! 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2462 Its his way of upgrading you to Satan Prime. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2463 It’s hard to tell the fire from the brimstone in standard definition. 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2464 '"You're fired!' really means something down here." 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2465 I hear they have a flatscreen up in circle three. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2466 Is it upside down? Or not? Take your time. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2467 Could have been worse. We could have been forced to watch repeat episodes of Touched by an Angel. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2468 We’ve been getting flack for our excesdive carbon footprint. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2469 I'm glad we get Fox News down here. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2470 He likes to torture us with reality tv. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2471 The scriptwriters have totally run out of ideas. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2472 The fireplace channel is all that's available. It's Hell! 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2473 I guess he's finally concerned about global warming 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2474 This nudist retreat might have been a bad idea... 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2475 No fires today- it's a spare the air day. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2476 The true hell is the picture quality. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2477 Quite! Our ruler... the Emperor With No Clothes. is speaking.... " Fire and Fury " 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2478 I hear that in heaven they get to watch everything on a 60" flat screen! 1.2889 0.05058 90 65 24 1
2479 Rabbit ears and the Christmas fireplace; Hell is so dated! 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2480 I think the timeshare in Orlando was a better deal. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2481 I heard he got the idea from that 'Burning Yule Log' video. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2482 Tits and TV.. you call this hell?! 1.2889 0.06562 90 72 10 8
2483 I don't know Martha, I've seen just as much of this show as you have 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2484 I liked the holiday fireplace one better. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2485 I miss the Winter Olympics 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2486 I'm starting to think that Satan doesn't value us as customers. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2487 Don't know about you, but this bores the hell outta me. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2488 I hate flying out of LaGuardia. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2489 Every channel is Breaking News. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2490 Another lie perpetuated by Fox News. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2491 We do apologize for the inconvenience but are experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you for your patience. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2492 This is Hell. Did you expect a flat-screen TV? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2493 I wish we got Sin-a-max. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2494 The worst part is we have to wait a year for season two. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2495 The next hour is going to be psoriasis treatment ads. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2496 These orgies are getting a little too avant garde for my taste. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2497 He puts it on every Christmas. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2498 Were you expecting high-def? 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2499 Don't go anywhere, Charlie's Fallen Angels is on at 8. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2500 Just think of it as binge watching the Yule Log. Forever. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2501 Do you ever take a moment and reflect on how you ended up here? 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2502 eternal damnation without cable? 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2503 I'm seeing a tremendous opportunity to modernize the tech down here. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2504 I hear that Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby are the guests of honor at tonight's screening. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2505 Live from New York, it's Saturday Night. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2506 I guess I was wrong Sharon. It looks like climate change really does effect everyone after all. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2507 I hate sweeps week! 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2508 This is what we get for spreading fake nudes. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2509 I liked it better in theaters. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2510 Analog TV? This IS Hell... 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2511 Wanna fuck? 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2512 In heaven, it’s the oscillating fan. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2513 It's only that damn hemerrhoid infomercial! 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2514 They said that after we watch the intro video, we get a tour of the timeshare properties. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2515 Is that a live feed from the 7th ring of hell? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2516 This is hell, no cable! 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2517 When they asked, "Cloths or T.V.?", it was a no-brainer. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2518 I'm not worried, if this were really hell, CNN would be on the TV. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2519 This year's Burning Man is lame. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2520 And I couldn't even get a signal in my basement. 1.2889 0.06562 90 72 10 8
2521 Thank God we're just in the overflow room. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2522 It's never as nice as they show you in the previews. 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2523 Let's hope no one tells him about virtual reality. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2524 Oh god, not another rerun! 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
2525 I told you the earth was warming. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2526 Imagine the fun we could have if we weren't dead. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2527 Production value here has really gone to hell. 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2528 This reality television stuff is just killing me. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2529 It's a virtual Hell! 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2530 Better than Fox or CNN... 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2531 I know it's hell, but it's a dry heat!! 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2532 This is the same training video that I saw at Trump University. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2533 Is this the casting call for Stormy Daniel's "Fire Down Below"? 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2534 EP of Wife Swap. You? 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2535 It doesn't look so scary when its not high definition. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
2536 Nothing is more sinful than watching "Hell's got Talent" 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
2537 Sure, we got 500 channels, but they're all the same! 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
2538 Reception was better in the second ring. 1.2872 0.06167 94 74 13 7
2539 Hell is reality TV. 1.2857 0.06306 91 72 12 7
2540 Infernal contraption! 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2541 If we're going to be here for all eternity, can we at least get a flat screen? 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2542 Strangely overlooked in the classical literature, sexual harassment training takes place at the entrance to the Second Circle of Hell. 1.2857 0.06497 91 73 10 8
2543 Do you think this could possibly be fake news? 1.2857 0.06110 91 71 14 6
2544 Oh, Hell. Reruns again! 1.2857 0.05250 91 67 22 2
2545 The next season comes out in one hundred million years. 1.2857 0.06306 91 72 12 7
2546 In heaven, they watch the Yule log. 1.2857 0.06110 91 71 14 6
2547 Hell or daytime TV - tough choice! 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
2548 „Not being able to change channels has proven to be much more hellish than actual hellfire.“ 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
2549 The true Hell is that aspect ratio. 1.2857 0.06110 91 71 14 6
2550 I heard they serve burnt popcorn. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2551 I remember watching the pilot 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2552 'If you wanted to see the final episode, you should have gone to heaven!' 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
2553 So I guess WAS wrong to peddle all those subprime mortgages 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2554 This must be alternative hell. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2555 Apparently, this cuts our CO2 emissions in half. 1.2842 0.06290 95 76 11 8
2556 So what network did you work for up there? 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2557 I guess I should have read their early termination clause more closely. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2558 Welcome to Millennial Hell 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2559 This must be the "teaser." 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2560 Jeez, I can't wait for the season finale." 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2561 Did you remember to bring the sun block? 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2562 It's like "The Sopranos" - nobody knows how it really ends! 1.2841 0.05098 88 64 23 1
2563 And this circle of hell is exclusively for people who lied on their Tinder profile. 1.2841 0.05098 88 64 23 1
2564 Safety orientation 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2565 It's not even in HD. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2566 I hear it's a public service announcement about how the climate is changing down here too. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
2567 Who knew the cable company would be this pissed when we cut the cord? 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2568 New TSA procedures? At least we get to keep our shoes on. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2569 Being stuck here with antenna TV sure is hell. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2570 You are doomed to an eternity of watching FOX NEWS! 1.2841 0.06654 88 71 9 8
2571 You are so hot. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2572 Always the Weather Channel with this guy. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2573 So this is it? 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2574 There's only one bloody hell channel down here. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2575 Let's poke his eyes out with the antenna. We have nothing to lose. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2576 Hell, no cable 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
2577 When they told me Hell was being forced to watch Bonanza reruns forever I didn't believe it." 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2578 gone are the days when they had actual demons doing the induction to hell. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
2579 I feel a bit more comfort that it is not high definition. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2580 It's the Irony Channel. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2581 Watch and burn. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2582 At least our fire and brimstone won't be in high definition. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2583 Oh great, here comes the time share pitch. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
2584 Somehow, when they promised us we could be on 'Roasting With The Stars' I was expecting something different. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2585 The technology is old but the message is the same 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2586 It's not quite what I expected. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2587 Can someone change that to Fox and Friends? 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2588 This standing around really burns my ass. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2589 At least the television here is better. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2590 You’re new here. Spoiler alert . . . 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2591 Actually, I find it less painful than commercial television. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2592 This is the strangest vacation pitch I have ever seen. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2593 I used to be in corporate videos. Think that's how I got here. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2594 A flatscreen would be heaven. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2595 In heaven, they have Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2596 Climate change is real. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2597 Yep. 7 days a week. 24 hour Trump station. 1.2841 0.06654 88 71 9 8
2598 No cable? You think he does that on purpose? 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
2599 first they make us watch 666 seasons of hell's kitchen on a Russian analog tv... 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2600 This is hell, there is no remote. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2601 But as you'll see, it wasn't until my 666th appearance on Fox and Friends that I did my best work. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2602 No cable in hell. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
2603 Nobody calls it a "boob tube" anymore. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
2604 We all wanted Reality-TV. Now I guess we get what we asked for. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
2605 brimstone comes on at 10 1.2841 0.06654 88 71 9 8
2606 You have to really check the reviews before you book one on these Groupon all inclusive getaway deals. Did you even look at the reviews Sharon? 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2607 So everything really is black and white. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2608 Hell, there’s no cable 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2609 As orientation videos go, it's pretty ho-hum. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2610 Of course it's hell—every time I try to adjust the picture, he pokes me! 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2611 I think I’ve seen this show before. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
2612 He's economizing! 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2613 'Just more re-runs of the Bill Cosby Show." 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
2614 Welcome to the premiere of "The Inconvenient Truth 5: The Devil Wears Nada" 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2615 Big deal. I saw the original on Broadway. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2616 Is it too late to change my vote? America doesn't look that great after all. 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
2617 The other channel is Fox News. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2618 They've been promising HD forever. Don't believe 'em. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2619 So this is where the old TVs went. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2620 Figures -- I saw this one already 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
2621 CNN? FOX? Isn't it just about choosing frying pan or fire? 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
2622 I never thought they would be worried about a fuel shortage down here. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2623 Broadcast TV? With a rabbit ears antenna. This IS Hell! 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
2624 The outdated technology is just torture. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
2625 This is a rerun. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
2626 At least nothing will shrink where we're going. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
2627 It's going to be a loooong eternity 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
2628 You were a reality TV producer, too? Isn't that ironic? 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
2629 Due to budget cuts, you will need to use your imagination 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
2630 After having to watch FOX every day at our Federal offices, this channel is soothing. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
2631 Not add a log....ANALOG 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
2632 Those are fake flames. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
2633 At least we don’t have to watch Fox News! 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2634 I really doubt his legal department requires the short intro video. I think he just like to show it. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2635 Welcome to the ultimate red state where no one has any coverage. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2636 From what I've heard this You Tube version sure beats the real thing! 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2637 Just be grateful it's virtual reality! 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2638 I’m not feeling the warmth. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2639 Well, at least we're dressed for it . . . 1.2791 0.05139 86 63 22 1
2640 No HD, not even cable; this truely is Hell! 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2641 Apparently, he’s had a dispute over cable fees after they found out nudity was involved. For now, it’a Rabbit ears... 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2642 It beats The Apprentice. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2643 They say it's been picked up for another 13 weeks. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2644 Is he using the fireplace app? 1.2791 0.05139 86 63 22 1
2645 I guess you could say the naked truth is Reality TV is literally going to hell. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2646 When we talked about allying with People of Color, bright red with horns and a tail wasn’t the color I had in mind. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2647 These orientations seem to last for an eternity. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2648 This is where they send you when you complain about your cable bill 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2649 It's great here. Even get Fox News. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2650 Dare we suggest to him aluminum foil for the rabbit ears? 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
2651 Guess where I put the remote 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2652 Who did you vote for? 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2653 We'll have to take off our fig leaves. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2654 This used to be a Christmas tradition. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2655 Let's hope the next election doesn't have the same results. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2656 I have been told we can upgrade to cable but there will be hell to pay. 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
2657 I hate this show. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2658 No flat screen, I guess this really is hell. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2659 I don't actually want the timeshare - just the free vacation. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2660 I didn't know Netflix binging qualified as sloth. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2661 I can't believe they only get one channel and it's the yule log. 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
2662 You know, the reception is much better than I was expecting. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2663 It's his favorite show. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
2664 The experts all said we'd freeze over. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2665 Rabbit ears. This must be the seventeenth circle of hell. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2666 I can’t wait to see the part that explains about brimstone! 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2667 A five minute break for flames, then back to news. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2668 Don't look now, but there's a naked guy at eleven o' clock. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2669 They need to show the safety video first. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2670 Hell yes! I'm naked and afraid! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2671 But the fake news never mentions we have air conditioning. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2672 It's not as bad as it looks. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2673 I told you Heck was better than Hell. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2674 No cable, no flat screen, no hi def, and all they get is Fox! 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
2675 Must be hell, it's all Three's Company reruns 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2676 No cable. That’s the hell of it. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2677 Not having a flatscreen is hell. 1.2791 0.06750 86 70 8 8
2678 This is virtual Hell! 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2679 I thought hell was supposed to be other people. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2680 The news is always so negative. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2681 Just one boring channel -- for Eternity. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2682 I can't stand it! Not only is it low def, but it's black & white! 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2683 Welcome to the orientation program! 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2684 Don't blame me for climate change, I drove a Prius. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
2685 I'm all for safety training in case of a fire but this is ridiculous.... 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2686 You know who I really feel bad for? The people looking at the back of the TV. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2687 Hell is losing its edge - could have been commercials. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2688 Were doomed he has the remote! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2689 At least someone's trying to stop global warming. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2690 You'd think that with Satan's sinful materialism, he'd at least have a Flat Screen. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2691 They get FOX News and CNN. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2692 I'm not sure they needed a 20 minute orientation video. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
2693 No remote?.... It's hell alright. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2694 Reminds me of The Yule Log I used to watch 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2695 I know how it ends. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2696 He is sending us to Hawaii. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2697 My kids were right. Living without modern technology IS Hell. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2698 I never miss the previews. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2699 I don't know. It does look like Hell, but the trident looks fake. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2700 Does he only get the Lava Channel? 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2701 Is this a preview of what’s to come 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2702 He comes to the colony every year, trying to sell us time shares. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2703 No flat screen? This is hell. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2704 I'll bet it's fake news. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2705 Besides the humiliation of being naked, we can't change the channel. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2706 This show has a real cult following. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2707 I should have known that, if I supported Donald Trump's quest for power, it would come to this! 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2708 Reminds me of my thermodynamics class in college, only way hotter. 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
2709 Is this the audition for,Naked and Afraid? 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2710 Honestly, I am surprised they even have an orientation! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2711 No, I get the post-modern-techno-criticism of it. I'm just saying mine shrinks when it's cold, and that's why I wish it was a real fire. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2712 Oh, I know! You got a haircut! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2713 This is the casting call for 'Naked and Afraid: Dante's Inferno'. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2714 It’s the same everyday; hot as hell again. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2715 Is he really trying to sell us on Hell? 1.2771 0.05231 83 61 21 1
2716 The trailers always oversell it. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
2717 Hell is other people...and standard definition. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
2718 Fake fire burns me up. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
2719 The real torture is that every channel is the same. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2720 Can you believe it? Only one channel and it’s their version of the Yule log. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2721 It’s the same infomercial on every channel. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2722 No commericals, though. Amiright? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2723 I've been to a lot of timeshare sales pitches but this one's amazing. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2724 This level of technology will be a real turn off for millennials. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2725 it's only real when you see it on television. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2726 Yeah, I was a reality TV producer, too. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2727 If even these guys can do their part on global warming.... 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
2728 I heard we'll get real flames if enough of us donate to the Patreon 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2729 It's always Christmas down here. That's the hell of it. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
2730 No carbon OR microfibre pollution, good for him! 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2731 It's the usual. There's a 90 minute presentation before you collect the prize. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
2732 I think it got the idea from watching the Yule log. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2733 Welcome to Heaven, or as god likes to call it, “Hell”. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2734 Reality TV was hell on Earth, too. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2735 Of course it's not High Def. This is hell, you know. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2736 No digital high definition flames? This really IS Hell. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2737 And if anyone complains about what’s in hell-o-vision, we’ll put it on the Hallmark Channel. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2738 No, there's no WiFi. There's not even goddam basic cable! 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2739 I love reality television. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2740 If those are not real flames, then are we fake nudes? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2741 Is this the show about the dangers of infernal warming? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2742 It's a big night, after this is the season premiere of Brimstone. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2743 We only get the weather channel. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2744 I heard the heaven people get cable and still have their genitals. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2745 Do you think he could turn it up? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2746 They're conserving energy. But you get the message. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2747 Dare you to tell El Diablo over there where to stick those rabbit ears. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2748 The training departments video budget really has gone to Hell 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2749 It would seem an introductory training video on eternal suffering and damnation is a bit of overkill. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2750 Another ruse- it’s colder than hell down here. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2751 I just knew it, a vast wasteland. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2752 Hellfire isn't living up to my expectations. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2753 Whoever owns the syndication rights to this show must be making a killing. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2754 Wi-fi? we don't even get cable down here? 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2755 You know, Sartre was right: 'Hell is not having basic cable. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2756 Suddenly, it seems like everyone we know is singe-watching! 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2757 Looks like Hell is watching "Naked and Afraid" while we ARE naked and afraid. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2758 At least it's cable, so we don't have to suffer through as many commercials. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2759 If this is hell, I'm all in. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2760 He says it’s the only station he can catch down here, but I don’t believe in him. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2761 I’ll admit the programing is a little redundant 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2762 This is hell. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2763 It's the newest teaser for coming attractions. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2764 What further proof do you need of global warming? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2765 Have you ever been an extra in a von Trier film before? 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2766 That fire feels good on my you know what. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2767 I guess we should've read the fine print when we signed the contract for this pay-per-view channel. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2768 Must cost too much to heat the place. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2769 All right, everyone. Mr. Lucifer couldn't make it in today; here is a video of the hellfire he would be roasting you in. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2770 I don't know which is worse--fire and brimstone for eternity, or watching Dr Phil for eternity. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2771 This virtual hearth isn’t working much better than the virtual clothing. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2772 It could be worse. At least there are no commercials. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2773 Hey - look! It's the same screensaver we had in the eighties! 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2774 I know we're all trying to be supportive, but someone needs to tell him his films lack artistic vision. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2775 By converting to this televised simulation, they save One Million annually on heating costs. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2776 It's the second season "The Apprentice." 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2777 This is America. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2778 I guess this is the opposite of Netflix and chill? 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2779 You'll be feeling those flames when he switches to Virtual Reality headsets. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2780 I guess even the afterlife has become virtual reality. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2781 Great-another documentary 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2782 Naked ambition isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.2738 0.05179 84 62 21 1
2783 Geesh, this is the orientation video from hell. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2784 It's his reality show. We're forced to watch it... Word is he wants to run for higher office. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2785 I've seen this flame before. Spoiler alert, it has a cool ending. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2786 Ironically, they call it the fire station. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2787 If you think that's scary, wait until you see it in color. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2788 They edited it for TV. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2789 I told you, Hell isn’t so bad. If only there were couches, this would be heaven. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2790 Hell-o 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2791 It's much more interesting than the Brimstone channel. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2792 This is the worst! I can't even see the screen! 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2793 If your brought marshmallows, you're out of luck. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2794 Only 1 channel? This really is hell. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2795 More political ads! I never imagined that it would be THIS bad. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2796 Of course, it's Fox News. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2797 Artificial, yes--but it provides a certain warmth. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2798 Wonder if the Cosby Show is on. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2799 Why is there never anything on down here except “Lucifer?” 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2800 Orientation videos never do the real thing justice. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2801 I hear that the Other Place has Oculus Rift. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2802 It's the only channel. That's why they call this hell. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2803 No remote.... 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2804 White House briefings make my stay here more enjoyable. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
2805 No HD? No cable? What kind of hell is this? 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2806 It’s just the one channel, but it is commercial free. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2807 another rerun. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2808 Fake news. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2809 This is for all of you who once said 'What Reality Show in Hell did I win?' This one! 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2810 Comcast-Xfinity has one hell of a signal! 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2811 I knew my old tv would end up down here. Goddamn thing sucked. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
2812 I wonder what they’re watching in heaven? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2813 Later, he switches to the Brimstone channel 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2814 You'd think he could afford a flat screen! 1.2738 0.05179 84 62 21 1
2815 It’s our only reality show. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2816 If you think this is hell, until last year there was only AM radio. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2817 I wish they'd turn the heat up in here. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2818 It has a nostalgic, sort of PBS kind of feel, and this crowd seems to like it. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2819 Hell hopes to be carbon neutral by Armageddon. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2820 I've heard that in another 10,000 years we may get to watch it in color. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2821 Turns out you can't burn a finite amount of sulfur for all of eternity. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2822 Sure beats the hell out of the Yule log they made us watch last Christmas. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2823 It's not so bad. The murderers have to watch "Blossom". 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2824 Hot enough for ya? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2825 This seems like very politically correct eternal torment to me. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2826 It's called reality TV. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2827 Not even a flat screen? This place really is Hell. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2828 He’s particularly proud of the special effects. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2829 We're right here, and the best view is on the television 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2830 These workplace training videos are always so grim. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2831 Really! Rabbit ears? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2832 Nothing's on. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2833 I'll take this over brimstone any day of the week. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2834 I assumed hell would be bad, but low definition TV? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2835 SOOooo much greener this way. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2836 I know we're here for eternity, but did he have to buy the box set? 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2837 I don't know why we need to see the trailer. . . 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2838 The Brimstone Show comes on right after Fox News. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2839 Damn it, Alice, I think it's another re-run. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2840 He's tired of paying fines for safety code violations. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2841 The good news is, we get cable next month. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2842 Seriously?? If he really wanted to stick it to us, he could put on an endless loop of Jersey Shore reruns. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
2843 Oh no, we’re already in hell. This orientation video takes an eternity. We’re going to be standing here for centuries. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2844 Feels like we've been watching the same channel for eternity. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2845 My guess is, that it is Trump's innards. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2846 Actually, we all see something different. For me, it's a reel of baseball games on rain delay, followed by Stranger Things spoilers. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2847 Doesn't it just kill you, having to watch this in black and white? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2848 I suppose he’ll show us the brimstone on a slide projector. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2849 "Is rerun hell better than regular hell?' 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
2850 Really? This is breaking news? 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
2851 This isn't the time share promo, is it? 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2852 At least we finally got the signal working. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2853 I thought hell would be more up to date... 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
2854 Other than C-SPAN? Yeah, sometimes he lets us watch reruns of The Apprentice. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2855 I told you Hell hadn't frozen over! 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2856 Let's see what's going on in the other levels of Hell. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
2857 I always thought television was a Hell of an idea. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2858 I used to watch this every Christmas 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2859 I knew it was a guilty pleasure. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2860 Obviously CRT is not just my idea of hell. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2861 Our poor souls were addicted to porn & we must now have our eyes watch the Eternal Flames on a 1973 Non-HD 20 inch TV for all eternity! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2862 The main damnation is no Wi-Fi. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2863 A T.V. fireplace? Who knew satan was so cheep 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2864 I'm pretty sure I was supposed to have a place at the main venue, not the remote view with you losers. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2865 Apparently Senator McConnell cut off his funding. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2866 Thank God it's not in HD. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2867 Everything is outsourced now. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2868 Back home they call this buffering. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2869 It's going to be hell without a flat screen. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2870 In heaven they have HD flat TVs, but you need to wear clothes. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2871 They only play the news down here? This really is hell. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2872 This is not "fake news"...it is the naked truth!! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2873 The truly hellish part is that it’s standard definition 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2874 I heard purgatory has basic cable. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2875 You're in hell for human resources staff. Now watch this training video for the next hundred years, and nobody sexually harass anyone else. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2876 I know we've seen this before, but this part never gets old to me. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2877 It's either this or re-runs of "The Apprentice". 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2878 The boss thinks The Apprentice reruns will augment the Hell experience for many of the newer arrivals. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2879 It’s the hottest show on television and it’s commercial free. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2880 Wow, and I thought not having clothes was the worst part of being here. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2881 The Lake of Fire is full. I guess we're stuck with the simulcast. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2882 It looks like the devil made us do it. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2883 My plan to bring up The Apprentice television ratings has worked! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2884 I thought there would at least be cable. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2885 I hate re-runs... 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2886 I thought the idea was to bare our souls 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2887 Never changes.....Breaking News 24/7! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2888 Only three networks and no Hi-Definition. It's torture. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2889 Thank God it's not a live shot! 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2890 HD would make it more believable. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2891 Everyone is outsourcing these days 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2892 The irony is McLuhan's in the other place. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2893 What's cooking? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2894 He won’t change that channel until hell freezes over 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2895 Rabbit ears? What's next, a crummy TV dinner? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2896 Good luck trying to skip the commercials. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2897 The lake of fire is out of order. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2898 I will take questions after this brief introduction video. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2899 I thought Hell would at least be in HD. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2900 The commercials are the worst. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2901 Not sure about the red test pattern but those rabbit ears suggest cable may not be available in this area. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2902 I feel somehow it continues to reflect on our current reality. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2903 You'd think he could afford cable? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2904 This is the weirdest orientation ever. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2905 Why do you think he’s showing us Fahrenheit 451. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2906 Reality shows are scarier than the real thing. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2907 Did someone touch the thermostat? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2908 I warned you Fox News was the only network that would come in down here. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2909 At least there are no ads! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2910 Let’s stay in purgatory. Hawaii is just too hot. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2911 And we thought that all day broadcast on Christmas day of the yule log was boring! 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2912 All the weather reports seem the same to me. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2913 That's a fake fire. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2914 The folks in the next circle of hell have it even worse: all Kathie Lee Gifford all the time. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2915 This is some after party! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2916 Great offer, a timeshare at a hedonist resort! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2917 Rabbit ears? Really? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2918 They’ve really reduced their carbon footprint. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2919 I always thought the "Yule Log" was hell when I was alive. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2920 This really is Hell, all they show is Reality TV . 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2921 God, I miss Netflix! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2922 Fox is fine, but I prefer the Great British Bake-off 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2923 I hear this channel is being bought by Disney. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2924 Reruns are hell. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2925 Wow. And here I thought the only "virtual hell" I'd ever be in was my marriage! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2926 Ever since our free cable trial period ended, life down here is frankly, well, hell. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2927 It's a lot colder than I expected. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2928 I think this is only the third circle, so it could be worse. It's nothing but 'Jersey Shore' reruns two levels down. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2929 I still say this is too much to give up for one Knicks championship. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2930 At least it’s not Fox...! 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2931 It was this or an eternity of Joanie loves Chachi 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2932 These timeshare presentations are always so uncomfortable. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2933 It's not the same without the heat. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2934 Helluva sequel." 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2935 Hey, you wanna get a drink later? Ha, just kidding. 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
2936 I really thought he’d have cable since the providers are all his acolytes 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2937 Just a remake of Dante, and not a very good one at that. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2938 We are damned for eternity Molly ... a black and white cathode ray tube!!! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2939 You know, I think I'm starting to like reality TV. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2940 At least the reception is good. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2941 I'm just happy it's commercial free. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2942 Ok folks back on your hands and knees - coffee break's over.... 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2943 So it is Hell not having a Big Screen! 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2944 No cable! This truly is Hell. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2945 The orientation really does help make the transition easier. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2946 Pray it doesn't go on forever! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2947 Propaganda. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2948 Are you as turned on by fire porn as I am? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2949 I hear that season two has even more fire and brimstone than season one. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2950 I hate this show. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2951 I used to think cable news 24/7 was torture 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2952 We don't really need the infomercial do we? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2953 I knew it! The Devil does wear Prada. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2954 I wonder what the Kardashians are up to. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2955 No Cable? This really is Hell. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2956 It's a virtual Hell! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2957 Don't you just love watching the Yule log on Christmas morning? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2958 So apparently we all hogged the remote a bit in the land of the living. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2959 This orientation is taking forever! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2960 If I had known they only had standard definition in hell, I wouldn't have killed my wife. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2961 they all die in the end 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2962 Hell hasn't been updated in a long time. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2963 So This is Hell, No Cable, old 25’ and someone else has the remote. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2964 I am still cold. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2965 I think I've seen this episode already. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2966 Hell is so retro. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2967 Is this going to be on the quiz? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2968 Would you like to get a coffee after the meeting? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2969 This must be the welcome video. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2970 Welcome to the lowest level -- no pockets for cellphones here. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2971 I hear televisions up in heaven are HD. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2972 What happens now? They hand out the sticks and marshmallows. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2973 Those Televangelists don't know how right they are. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2974 I really thought the porn would be better here. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2975 It's a rerun. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2976 It's better than being chilly all the time. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2977 I don’t know what’s worse - the body odor or the rabbit ears? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2978 Well, at least this channel's better than the news. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2979 I wonder what's on the other channels? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2980 Netflix and chill...in hell! 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
2981 Worst part is, it's always reruns. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2982 Rabbit ears? This must be retro hell. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2983 I knew it...reality TV. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2984 I guess the revolutionWILL be televised 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2985 This is TV hell: no cable but lots of nudity 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2986 So 'THIS' is global warming 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2987 Reality TV is really hell down here 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2988 I wonder if they wear clothes in the other place. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2989 You think this is bad, next comes 24 hours straight of cable pundits with no breaks for advertisements. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2990 You were right, hon. No HDTV. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2991 This is worse than I could possibly imagine. Watching Trump all day long over and over... this is the definition of torture! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2992 If we were in Heaven we'd be watching "Chariots of Fire"! 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2993 Thank you for attending our "Orientation To Hell" Class. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2994 This IS Hell. It reminds me of Christmas with my in-laws. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2995 Wanna bet, no HBO? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2996 This is it?! They sure talked it up. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2997 The worst part is, we can't skip the commercials 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2998 If you ask nicely I bet they'll change it. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2999 Is this the only channel? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
3000 I figured it would be hell down here but I wasn’t prepared for a ‘real housewives’ marathon 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
3001 I never watch the pre-flight safety videos. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
3002 It's the 10th Circle of Hell - only one channel and it's all Trump 24/7. 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
3003 I guess Marshall McLuhan was right. The medium's the message. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
3004 Oh great. Reruns again. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
3005 White supremecist convention in hell. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
3006 Consider yourself lucky. They've got cable the next circle down. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
3007 They say this is the boring part. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
3008 It's an acquired taste. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
3009 Is it a bit chilly in here, or is it just me? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
3010 It's Hell Fire TV. It's a lot like watching cable news 24/7. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
3011 Well, at least they let us get the news down here. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
3012 This IS hell! We should be seeing this on a big, high res, flat screen. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
3013 It's an all-inclusive package. 1.2651 0.05167 83 62 20 1
3014 Fox and Friends laugh at Dante's fake fire. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
3015 What's happening on Earth puts all this in perspective. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
3016 They make us watch it while they're refueling the "eternal fires of hell." 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
3017 Eternity watching the flames of hell in black & white. But we do have fifty shades of grey. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
3018 Hell is other people, and no cable. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
3019 Ron Reagan says it’s fake news. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
3020 So the heat is fake, I think we've been had. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
3021 Beats the Hell out of watching news shows back home. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
3022 I don't think we need to see the replay. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
3023 After the commercial we dance to Earth, Wind and Fire. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
3024 not really different from the hell before death, is it? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
3025 I hate it when the trailer contains spoilers. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
3026 You the know the real hell is this analog TV's picture quality. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
3027 It´s a hell of a program! 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
3028 Would you like to join me for the Welcome BBQ after the orientation is finished? 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3029 Boredom is Torture. And climate change is making the real flames of hell less relevant. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3030 Just as I thought: Hell is so retro. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3031 Had I known there are no clothes or flat screens in hell, I would have behaved better. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3032 Maybe if we ask a lot of questions after the video it'll delay things. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3033 Stupid humans. Even when they're dead they can't think outside the box! 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
3034 Are you going to hot yoga? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3035 Watch very, very closely. Every millennium they throw on a new log. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3036 At 5:00 they play Gilligan’s Island reruns. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3037 Spoiler alert -- she eats the apple. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3038 Of course they couldn't go digital- the bureaucracy is hell around here. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3039 I know this is Hell and all, but rabbit ears?!? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3040 So it's true about the woman scorned thingy. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3041 "SPF 10,000. You? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3042 I now direct your attention to a brief video that will provide you with all the necessary information regarding your eternal stay in hell. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3043 I can't believe the Devil and cable haven't partnered up. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3044 Just what I was afraid of; endless reruns. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3045 Looks like we just got out in time! 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
3046 I wish it was HD at least. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3047 Would you mind if I changed to The Brimstone Channel? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3048 I thought it would be worse, the reception is better than expected. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3049 The reception was better in purgatory -- and we were better dressed, too. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3050 It's just like the yule log channel, but with Nickelback instead of Christmas songs. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3051 As you can see, they all prefer vicarious experience to the real thing. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3052 The real problem is that he never changes the channel, it's all Hell all the time. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3053 Is it weird to complain that I'm cold? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3054 Didn't we just see this one yesterday? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3055 It's amazing the picture's this good down here without cable. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3056 It was either this or Canadian Netflix. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3057 It's really just the Fireplace channel. But Hellfire sounds doomier. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3058 Welcome to Facebook orientation. That's our Chief Privacy Officer. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3059 He's reducing his carbon tail print. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3060 The Travel Channel gets very repetitious down here. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3061 You gotta admire someone who manages to get such great reception with nothing more than rabbit ears! 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3062 I know it looks bad...but I’ve heard the screen adds ten degrees. 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
3063 Don't worry, it's just fake news. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3064 I guess reality tv is big down here too. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3065 The authorities outlawed an open fire as a health hazard. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3066 Yeah Analog, that's the Hell of it. 1.2597 0.05030 77 57 20 0
3067 Rabbit-ear TV?—Satan really has no mercy. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3068 It’s hell that we can’t see this on the big screen. 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
3069 This place is a virtual hell! 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3070 Spoiler alert, no cable. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3071 Oh hell, it's not even in color. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3072 Feels a bit overkill, right? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3073 Black & White TV this is hell! 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3074 Welcome to Hell. No streaming. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3075 reality tv. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3076 I thought they’d at least have cable. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3077 275 channels with nothing but hell fire and brimstone. I never thought I would miss Time-Warner. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3078 Looks like a better deal than that timeshare we bought. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3079 It's on TV, so it must be real. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3080 I've already seen this one 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3081 Apparently they have a colour TV in heaven. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3082 When I signed up for the nudist camp's "Devil-Me-Care" weekend getaway, I was looking for a good time. This is not at all what I had imagined. Where are we and what are we doing here?? 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3083 I guess Fox News doesn't realize who is down here 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3084 The new DVR system...it's still eternal damnation but you get to skip all the commercials. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3085 I love this show! It's soo hot right now. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3086 This plays instead of Fox News' commercials. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3087 Figures, reruns again. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3088 Now, there's a good instructional video. Short and to the point. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3089 another rerun. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3090 I hear in heaven, they've got plasma screens. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3091 No cable? This is heaven! 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3092 Oh, so that's it. His hair is actually made of hellfire's licking flames. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3093 After seeing what's happening on Earth it's not so bad down here. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3094 Who'd thought hell would need an overflow room? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3095 I think they serve snacks after this orientation video. I can't wait to try the deviled eggs. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3096 No cable? This IS hell! 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3097 It’s not really hell until we loose the reception. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3098 They're out of fuel. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
3099 It's the series finale of Seinfeld--over and over and over again. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3100 In hell, the only channel is the weather channel. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3101 Who would have guessed that hell is watching Yule Log for eternity? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3102 The Devil saw the Yule Log channel last December and had an idea for a more fuel efficient Hell. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3103 I didn’t think cutting the cable would be this dire. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3104 Well, there's the fire, but where's the brimstone? 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3105 This would be more effective in HD. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3106 These press briefings are getting ridiculous. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3107 It really IS hell when you don’t have cable. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3108 Relax, I hear orientation lasts at least forty millennia. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3109 Other than the boredom it sure beats the real thing. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3110 Consider it a trailer. 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
3111 These Hades travelogs are pure hell. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3112 Forcing us watch this in standard-definition is just cruel. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3113 This is a demo version. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3114 I knew Hell wouldn’t have cable! 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3115 Try not to move around too much. It messes with the reception. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3116 I wonder if we can change the channel. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
3117 A least he changes the channel once every hundred years or so. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3118 I love these home decorating shows. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3119 I thought the 'Roseanne' reboot would be better. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3120 The Bachelorette is on next. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3121 It is C-Span all day here. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
3122 It’s a sneak preview. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
3123 The only thing worse than watching reruns of Hell’s Kitchen, is when the rabbit ears reception screws up. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
3124 What'd you do? 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
3125 It's FoxNews and personally I'd have preferred fire and brimstone. 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
3126 When I registered for a layman's degree from Trump University, this is not what I expected. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
3127 These introductory videos take the edge off. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
3128 We gotta watch "Naked and Afraid" forever? What the hell? 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
3129 I hear that Purgatory has high def and is clothing-optional. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
3130 Oh, god, rabbit ear antenna! I had no idea hell would be so nakedly out of touch with digital technology. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
3131 It's not the eternity of H.R. training that bugs me, it's the added 35 minutes for Jim's stupid questions. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
3132 "NOW, do you believe"? 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
3133 We're doomed -- it's basic cable. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
3134 Don't be alarmed by our one channel. The head devil assures us it's just fake news. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
3135 This will be my one millionth viewing of Inferno. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
3136 I'm okay with analog but it's hell for the younger folks. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
3137 It appears cable TV really has gone to Hell! 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
3138 Thank God for budget cuts. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
3139 No air-conditioning and 24/7 reruns of 'Rosanne.'" "Welcome to Hell! 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
3140 Ugh, watching his home videos is hell! 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
3141 I guess it could be worse, we could be at a Trump election ralley. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3142 You knew once he got down here, a spin-off was inevitable. "You're fire!" isn't as good as his original show, but at least the stakes are higher." 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
3143 It's an eternal Yul Log. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3144 ...and there is no cable. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3145 Reality TV? Next he’ll be running for President of Hell. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3146 I think Hell needs an electronic update. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3147 Hell is no flat screen tv. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3148 I heard in heaven they have a flat screen. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3149 I hope your not one to fan the flames 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3150 Yes, it's pretty boring, but there are no commercials 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3151 I've been binge-watching this forever. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3152 H.R. prepared the following orientation video. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3153 Usually we only get Fox. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3154 Down here you don't get to change the channel. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3155 I like the time-share pitch, but I don’t want to get burned 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3156 I'd rather burn than have to watch another season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3157 Haven't we suffered enough? There's no cable! 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3158 ...and, that concludes orientation. Questions? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3159 What a cheap devil. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3160 Now I get what the expression “rot in hell” really meant 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3161 Is this a preview of where we are headed? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3162 You think this is torture? Wait till the commercials start! 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3163 You would think the Devil could afford cable. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3164 “You think this looks bad, wait until you see what’s next”., 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3165 Weird sales meeting 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3166 Is it me, or are these cutbacks getting ridiculous? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3167 'I saw this movie on the flight down here." 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3168 Shoulda known they wouldn't have HD in hell. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3169 I can't wait for orientation week to end. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3170 Looks better on TV. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3171 I don’t think we’ll be getting any internet service 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3172 Purgatory. A low-tech illusion... Who'd have guessed. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3173 I hear the other place has HD and surround sound. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3174 It's hell getting cable down here. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3175 Why do they keep zooming in on Prince Harry’s hair? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3176 I'm beginning to wish I hadn't robbed, cheated and stolen to quite the extent I did. 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
3177 It is amazing they get such good reception down here with just rabbit ears! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3178 I think I like Sunday's yoga instructor more. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3179 You can learn to make fire watching YouTube. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3180 It's lucky we landed here during a recession 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3181 That’s hell for you. No cable. Only one channel for eternity. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3182 Wow, the new Roseanne sucks. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3183 If he really wanted to make the sale, he'd at least use an HD television. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3184 Oooh, the new 2019's are out! 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3185 The guy with the fork has the remote, this is going to be hell. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3186 No cable. They're breaking us in slowly. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3187 It's not the hellfire I mind, it's the incessant standing. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3188 This isn't so bad, I heard the Ninth Circle has to watch "Vanderpump Rules. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3189 Think we can work remotely from here? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3190 Reality TV in Hell 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3191 Now you will watch hell of a presentation 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3192 I told you we should have opted for the handbasket. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3193 This seems to be our virtual eternity. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3194 It’s the only channel we get down here. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3195 You will not need any clothing when you arrive at your destination 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3196 They’re just getting us ready for our trip to Hawaii.” 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3197 Relax, it's just more fake news. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3198 It's sinful, that's why. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3199 Sheesh--the cheapskate couldn't even spring for a flatscreen. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3200 Nothing left to shed if it comes to that.... 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3201 Watching TV naked. What's the catch? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3202 The End is Near!!! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3203 It's either this or MSNBC. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3204 I bet it will take an eternity to get cable HDTV down here. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3205 If he's trying to make us sweat, he should just put that Simmons guy on. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3206 My mother always told me it would rot my soul. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3207 I hear the one percent get slow-smoked over locally sourced alder wood. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3208 Surprise surprise, Lucifer won't spring for cable... 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3209 Even though we are naked, no one at the New Yorker will like my caption...look at the screen, they are burning all of my submissions 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3210 The Trump pee-pee-tape is now part of our Fire Safety education. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3211 Damn! Reruns... 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3212 If we're really good, he'll let us watch the Full House marathon. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3213 He did say dress appropriately but this is crazy. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3214 I always said old black & white TV looked like hell. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3215 This here is Hell's version of 'The Apprentice.' They really mean business when they say, 'You're fired!!!' 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3216 I heard this is a hot spot. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3217 It only gets Gilligan’s Island, but at least the reception is good. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3218 Why is it always the yule log? Seems like its been on this station for an eternity. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3219 It gets worse, there are only 3 Channels 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3220 Budget cuts; petroleum based flames are just too gosh-darned expensive. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3221 We should have gotten the plan with limited commercials. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3222 Thank God for budget cuts. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3223 They have a new Safety Compliance Officer. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3224 They always told me it was just a metaphor. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3225 Thank goodness the Lord of Darkness provided this overflow room. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3226 Reality TV has gone too far. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3227 Wow, who knew hell really is on earth? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3228 It would be more realistic in color 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3229 I guess I took it literally? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3230 Somehow, the fact that he can’t even wangle an LED makes me feel better. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3231 Budget Cuts 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3232 I know it’s not the same, but we’re gonna save a ton on firewood... 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3233 I never thought of him as an environmentalist. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3234 Basic Cable, no HD, this is Hell. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3235 Houston won the World Series, Philly won the Super Bowl. What did you expect? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3236 Now we know where all of those cable channels come from. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3237 At least in the winter he shows us the Yule Log. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3238 The first one of you that denounces Jesus gets a smart TV, for eternity. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3239 He's been waiting all day for the cable guy 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3240 He said we only have to wait one more eternal cycle, and we get to upgrade to Satellite. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3241 Let's get this party started. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3242 Reality TV is so edited these days 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3243 It’s so much better seeing it live 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3244 If I don't see you again after orientation, it was nice to meet you. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3245 Still not as bad as Fox News. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3246 Somehow I expected a more *immersive* experience... 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3247 The real punishment is that it's not in HD. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3248 Fake fire? I guess the economy's bad everywhere, huh? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3249 I don't know, I suppose I am a little disappointed. After all, this whole thing was supposed to be a really big deal. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3250 Netflix and hell, amiright? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3251 He’s just playing devil’s advocate, I’m pretty sure Marshall McLuhan said TV was a cool medium 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3252 WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH THE DIALS OR WE'LL ALL HAVE TO START WEARING CLOTHES. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3253 At least in Ray Bradbury’s dystopian future they got to keep their clothes. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3254 Viewing the naked truth is never easy 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
3255 I'm actually a little chilly! Who ever thought Satan would be so concerned about Global Warming? 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
3256 Reality television. I should've known. 1.2533 0.05056 75 56 19 0
3257 Yep, that's the last thing I saw too. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3258 I knew it. Slow TV is hell. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3259 I always thought that hellfire and damnation stuff was a bit exaggerated. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3260 It's the Yule Log video and there's no remote. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3261 What in the hell are we watching? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3262 Ah, now that jingle will be stuck in my head FOREVER! 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3263 I green lighted this show just before my heart attack. 1.2533 0.06869 75 62 7 6
3264 Imitating the Yule Log broadcasts seems a bit antithetical to the mission. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
3265 Now I know we're in hell. It's the Yule Log! 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3266 It’s the Republicans’ new slogan: Make Hell Great Again 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3267 This isn't even the worst part- they show Gilligan's Island reruns all afternoon. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3268 The funny thing is, when they first announced it I was AGAINST telecommuting. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
3269 I guess hell is not Netflix and chill. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
3270 Reality TV isn't all it's seems to be. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3271 I always liked the Yule Log better. And lots of blankets!! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
3272 If you think this is a bore wait till you get a load of the Brimstone Channel. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
3273 See, I told you. It was all a simulation. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3274 How I miss cable! It's the commercials that will really torture you. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3275 You want better reception, you gotta move his trident! 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3276 I can’t believe we’re still binge-watching ‘A Christmas Yule Log.’ 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3277 Jeez. You would have thought it would at least be a flat screen. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3278 It's the first time I've watched the Dante Channel. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3279 He's going all in on brimstone. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3280 I guess it makes sense Hell has an overflow room. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3281 The actual fire was outsourced to China to save on expenses. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3282 No ... this the commercial, we’re watching The Bill Cosby Show . 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3283 I guess that coal couldn’t be saved after all. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3284 Somehow it looks hotter on television. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3285 This is how I pictured it. 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
3286 Don't make him laugh. We'll lose reception. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3287 I hear in God's waiting room they serve buffet. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3288 That explains everything. The Devil has a small penis. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3289 It's all about the ambiance 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3290 Frankly, I think watching Fox News was more torturous. 1.2500 0.06786 76 63 7 6
3291 It's the season finale. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3292 Fossil fuels have become prohibitively expensive. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3293 Another predictable finale. 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
3294 I told you masturbation is a lower end sin. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3295 The Devil is in the details- please watch this informational video before continuing the tour. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3296 And now,a word from our sponsor. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3297 This isn't so bad, really. Last week, we had to watch "Roseanne." 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3298 This is an ironic punishment don't you think? 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3299 As special effects go, it's not that realistic - but I like it! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3300 It’s too hot for clothes anyway. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3301 Amazing, isn't it? Perfect reception every time! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3302 It is better than Fox. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3303 I liked the Yule Log better. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3304 What channel is heaven? 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3305 Hell hath no cable so... rabbit ears? 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3306 It's not the timeshare presentations I mind so much. It's the judgmental attitude of the sales force. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3307 Satan said that if we take off our clothes the fire should be warmer... 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
3308 What the hell is this supposed to be? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3309 You'd think he could afford hi-def. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
3310 Ironically, he has pyrophobia. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
3311 At least we can be grateful it's not in HD. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
3312 Rabbit ears! No wonder they call this hell. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
3313 This is what we get for watching Fox News 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3314 This must be Hell. He's making us watch Fake news for eternity. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3315 Definitely not as good as the first season. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3316 Damn! 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3317 We really need to find that remote! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3318 Don't Let Him Get Behind You 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3319 I can't wait to read his tweets. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3320 The only channel available is the loop of the Yule log. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3321 As seen on TV 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3322 I thought this would be hotter. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3323 Somebody wiggle the rabbit ears...I'm still freezing. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3324 The amenities have really gone down here over the years. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3325 Don’t you just love a great documentary? 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3326 I hear we’re getting a flat screen in April. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3327 Oh good. So its definitely not Fox news? 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3328 This is not what I had in mind when the Devil promised Amazon Fire TV. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3329 That Amazon Fire TV Stick is amazing, but he won't let us watch anything else unless we can guess his password. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3330 Comcast wouldn’t cancel our cable TV service. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3331 The worst part is that they play the same episode over and over. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3332 I told you leaving after the election was smart. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3333 I hope you're wearing plenty of sunblock. This could get hot. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3334 I actually produced this human resources video in my other life. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3335 Hey, I thought Hell had flatscreens? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3336 He really gets down to bare facts. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3337 Merry Christmas! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3338 The Yule Log is on upstairs. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3339 Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3340 If that's the fire, we don't need to worry about the brimstone. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3341 But he hasn't got anything on. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3342 I hear there's also a fracking channel. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3343 Yes, television has gone to hell! 1.2466 0.06974 73 61 6 6
3344 They say it's the golden age of hellivision 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3345 Continuing hot with no chance of rain. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3346 For a lifetime of sin you’d think they would’ve given us HD. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3347 Welcome to hell for videophiles. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3348 This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. At the other place there's no naked chicks. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3349 Same old, same old, without the cushy chair. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3350 Cooking shows are a kind of hell. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3351 This is the weirdest Naked and Afraid party I've ever been to. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3352 The carbon footprint of the old style fire and brimstone could no longer be justified. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3353 For some reason I thought they’d have a higher budget 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3354 Ugh. We got the overflow room again. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3355 Why is it so hard to cancel cable? 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3356 Well, that's a hell of a show. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3357 Rabbit ears only, with no satellite dish?,....now that's what I call sadistic torture! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3358 I guess I was wrong. Cable companies aren't owned and operated by Satan. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3359 There's nothing good on. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3360 I think he was misled by the title "The Naked and the Dead." 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3361 He never wants anyone to say he has a Devil-may-care attitude toward climate change. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3362 No cable?! This is one hell of a nudist retreat you signed us up for, Dear. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3363 All right, so we're virtually damned, but let's ask for an upgrade. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3364 These employee safety training videos are hilarious. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3365 The Resurrection will not be televised. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3366 It's just hell to dispose of a old TV. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3367 Analog's not bad when you consider the Virtual Reality on Level 7 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3368 He likes to say that he put the sin in syndication. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3369 They had me at "no more cable." 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3370 No digital? Now this is hell. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3371 Told ya he'd give in on the TV if we moaned about it loud enough. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3372 I actually like watching fire on old TVs. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3373 The picture is so realistic you feel like you're there... 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3374 This may make me sound shallow, but I still love watching the Kardashian's down here. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3375 I wish they’d at least change it from Fox News to MSNBC during commercial breaks 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3376 It's not even a flat screen?! What year is he stuck in? 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3377 I'm not getting a warm feeling about this! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3378 I guess I should have seen this coming when I voted. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3379 Energy efficiency hits Hades! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3380 As far as orientations for newcomers go, this isn't really all that bad... 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3381 The fire is on the brimstone. Go figure. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3382 Political adds 24-7 — what else would you expect in hell. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3383 What the hell? Simulated fire? Seriously? Do you play Gin Rummy? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3384 It's like hot yoga but hotter. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3385 I hate it when Satan makes us watch his old home movies. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3386 Great, another repeat. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3387 Somehow the Yule log makes me feel cozier. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3388 Of all things: rabbit ears! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3389 It's better the second time you watch it. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3390 Hell has been requred to cut down on CO2 emissions 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3391 If we break the antenna, the fire will turn to snow. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3392 Strangely meditative. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3393 Its so expensive keeping the hell fires going we found they work just as well on Skype. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3394 they've been using the same orientation video since the 80s 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3395 Just as I feared, hell means watching reruns of "Naked And Afraid" in the nude. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3396 No HD. Their cruelty is boundless! 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3397 That snowball I brought has better chances than I thought. 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3398 Sorry for the outdated technology - we had another budget cut this year. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3399 The hell of it is, this is the only channel! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3400 Everyone looks forward to Christmas Eve when they add the Yule log. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3401 Well I guess it's happening, hell is freezing over! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3402 Makes you kind of miss commercials, doesn't it? 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3403 Yep, just like the televangelist said. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3404 I guess nobody wanted to be overdressed for this party. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3405 Looks like another day of record-breaking temperatures 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3406 Hell isn't so bad today, the furnace broke. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3407 Dante’s 10th circle of Hell — NO flat screen TVs. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3408 I'm so glad they finally installed monitors here in the lobby. The seventh circle has been S.R.O. since 1936! 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3409 Between rising energy prices and slashed budgets, we're lucky we didn't get stuck with radio 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3410 I hear they have color TV in purgatory 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3411 They never get tired of making us watch the safety video. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3412 Standard def? What new torture is this? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3413 Hell.No remote? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3414 I wonder if we have to stay for the free vacation after watching the timeshare presentation. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3415 They're charging us how much for just this one channel again? 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3416 After the Bachelor/Bachelorette marathon, they're going to show every season of Big Brother and then every "Apprentice," along with all Donald Trump's speeches and news conferences. 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
3417 Looks better on a flat screen. 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
3418 Destined to watch President Trump reruns for eternity 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
3419 I thought we were here because we already watched too much Fox News... 1.2432 0.06887 74 62 6 6
3420 At least all the health insurance companies end up here -- we even have vision coverage! 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3421 Fox News will be shown next. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3422 Looks like a hell of a place 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3423 I should have know; Hell is analog. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3424 Funny...looks alot like one of my recent campaign ads. 1.2432 0.07151 74 63 4 7
3425 He got one of those "Holiday Fire" DVD's. But do NOT say "Christmas around him!" 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3426 It’s the only channel we get down here. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3427 Marshall McLuhan was right. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3428 Apparently there have been budget cuts. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3429 And here you can see what America is like since you left Earth.... 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3430 Our punishment, for not paying our cable bills. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3431 solar powered. Even he thinks fossil fuels are wrong. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
3432 No binge-watching down here; we have to wait a whole week for the next episode. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3433 That proves it, that maddening holiday yule log was the devil's idea. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3434 'Another repeat.' 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
3435 Thank God we were bought out by Time Warner broadcasting. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3436 The plotting is weak, but the pyrotechnics are something else. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3437 With fake fire, you'd maybe think purgatory. But they can't even get a flat screen TV, so this is definitely hell. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3438 I'm just glad they let me hold onto my glasses 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3439 The flat screen is upstairs. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3440 Even the Devil would rather watch re-runs than pay for cable. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
3441 Ohh, it's going to get warmer downstairs. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3442 It’s either this or The 700 Club. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
3443 At least we’re dressed for it. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3444 I'm not sure if this is our hell, or his. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3445 Sometimes media is the only way for it to sink in. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3446 It's coverage of the "Hell Week" celebrations. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
3447 No Cable, this must be HELL! 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3448 One person fails to sexually assault someone and we all have to watch a training video? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3449 It almost looks cozy in vibrant black-and-white, doesn’t it? 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3450 I'll explain it later. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
3451 Whatever you do "don't" touch the rabbit ears. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
3452 I've always hated coming attractions 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3453 And you thought the Fireplace Channel at Christmas was hell! 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3454 Hell is analog TV. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3455 I killed my wife for this. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3456 It's just a teaser trailer. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3457 I swear, Estelle, if you say "banality of evil" one more...uh-oh, now I get it. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3458 The reception is terrible down here! 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
3459 Analogue?! Now I'm sure its hell. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3460 Worst part is, it's in standard definitio. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
3461 Should we switch to water? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3462 I'm still hoping for a Presidential pardon. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3463 They say it'll feel 10 degrees hotter down here as soon as he upgrades to high definition. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3464 Did you really think there would be a flat screen TV? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3465 The Campaign was fun. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3466 Well, hello. I know this place around the corner that has a killer happy hour. What do you say? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3467 I'd say it's reality TV at its best. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3468 I was happy to see the flames...I thought for sure it would be “Fox and Friends” 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3469 All this for a bite of the apple!?! 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3470 I hear the third circle has a flat screen. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3471 If we had been good we’d have a jumbo flat screen. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3472 The liberal media got it right for once. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3473 It could be worse, you know. Imagine if they upgraded to virtual reality! 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3474 Climate change back upstairs 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3475 THAT IS ON CHANNEL 666 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3476 It figures we’d only get Fox News down here. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3477 Well actually, it's a monitor not a TV. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3478 So Hell only dates back to the invention of the television set? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3479 Oh, "eruption"! Funny, we all heard "erection"! 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3480 We finally meet as I had imagined... on our journey to hell. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3481 We are all standing here naked and freezing and what do they do? Show us pictures of fire on an old TV! What the hell is wrong with them? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3482 "Roseanne" is a little different this time around. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3483 Who could have imagined that a nudist camp would be hot as hell. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3484 You know they're just kidding, right? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3485 Trump's tax cuts have had far-reaching implications. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3486 Really? Ol' Beelzebub can't afford hi-def? Loser. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3487 Hours of mandatory infomercials---I'd rather jump in the Lake of Fire. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3488 I was worried there wouldn't be color TV 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3489 Even Satan cut the cord to cable. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3490 Normally we go to these timeshare pitches for the free food. I have to say, I’m a little let down with this one. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3491 This is one helluva nudist colony. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3492 OH HECK! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3493 I didn’t think we’d get cable! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3494 Can you believe there’s still no full-frontal nudity allowed on Hell-a-vision? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3495 Hell's Bells! If the flames are only on a TV screen this is a great place to be!! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3496 They got the idea from the Norwegian Fireplace Channel. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3497 There's a two-hour Brimstone special at eight o'clock. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3498 No Cable? This really is Hell. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3499 Fuel was getting expensive, so he found a Yule log channel with no cats. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3500 I didn’t know they got Fox News down here! 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3501 That weird looking usher in red just laughed the most devilish laugh when I asked him how this ends. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3502 This isn't so bad -- it's just like Christmas in Utah. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3503 I've seen this episode before. It gets better, just wait for the brimstone. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3504 Thank God for the budget cuts. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3505 did you really expect hi-def? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3506 Great. I like never watch this show, but what are the odds I've seen this episode? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3507 I think I understand the premise of that show Naked and Afraid. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3508 Can't get satellite tv here, so it's only local programs. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3509 It figures it would be a black and white TV. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3510 Well, no-one's ever asked for a fireplace channel down Here before... . 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3511 It's not as bad as I pictured it 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3512 Only one channel? This must be hell. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3513 No remote, no flat screen, rabbit ears-- we really are in Hell! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3514 Hell is black and white. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3515 The flip side of the 60's sexual revolution. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3516 This worst part is that it’s mostly commercials. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3517 It's all reruns from now until fall. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3518 Heaven has cable. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3519 Trump’s budget cuts affect us all. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3520 Where you able to smuggle in the sun screen? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3521 When Dignitas said they were having a fire sale, I didn't expect this! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3522 Fake news again! If you can believe anything you hear from these guys, fake news started down here. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3523 The only other channel is brimstone. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3524 We didn't start the fire. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3525 I should have expected Hell to have a "rabbit ears" antenna. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3526 The damnation part is there is no remote! 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3527 O.K., Newt Minow was right. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3528 I think the real fire-works is broken, the fake one is on. what a lazy devil 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3529 The reception is not very good down here. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3530 He's too cheap to give us the real thing. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3531 If this is the seventh ring of Hell, I am very content with my sins. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3532 You said you wanted to end up someplace warm and simple. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3533 There's nothing good on TV any more. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3534 I'm not tipping the tour guide. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3535 A CRT? This IS hell. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3536 So this IS Hell - no cable and no Dri-Fit 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3537 What the devil, the Naked Chef is becoming a movement. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3538 I understand that there's no assigned seating either. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3539 So hell is standing around naked and watching TV? 1.2394 0.05101 71 54 17 0
3540 It would have more impact on a Jumbotron 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3541 I hear there's basic cable in purgatory. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3542 It's included in basic cable here. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3543 This reminds of of the Lost finale, only better. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3544 So this is why they insisted on us signing a disclaimer at the audition 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3545 Well, it's either this or the Brimstone Channel. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3546 I knew it! No one here wears Prada. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3547 And I thought the yule log at Christmas was boring. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3548 But the next episode starts in 10 seconds 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3549 The Devil is INTO the details!! 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3550 And the best part--you won't need any clothing. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3551 Yeah, he hijacked the Fox & Friends feed for a special announcement. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3552 Hmm, Comcast. How fitting." 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3553 I heard things really start hotting up next season. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3554 I hear they have HD flat screens in heaven. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3555 It was clearly stated in orientation, "no eye contact", John. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3556 We'll get back to our show, "Your Afterlife" in a moment, but first, a word from our sponsor, Ice Mountain bottled water. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3557 Wanna Netflix and burn to death for eternity? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3558 Of course it took awhile to get interesting - these people practically invented the slow burn. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3559 Are these the auditions for Naked and Afraid? 1.2394 0.07082 71 60 5 6
3560 Say, the reception is pretty good down here. 1.2394 0.05101 71 54 17 0
3561 As unbearable as this is, if our sins were even greater, we would have been forced to watch this through 3D Virtual Reality glasses. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3562 Ask him if we can change the channel. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3563 Any chance we could watch it in HD? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3564 It's the only channel we get. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3565 We lost the remote, so we're stuck watching reality TV. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3566 Satan forgot to pay that gas bill, but his cable is on autopay 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3567 Hell, only one channel? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3568 It’s a limited series, 20,000 years. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3569 It’s slways reruns in the summer. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3570 Central air will be added to your cable bill as a courtesy..... 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3571 No Cable TV....this is going to be hell! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3572 Looks like Hell out there. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3573 They say it won’t be fixed until tomorrow. Meanwhile, shouldn’t we all be making out? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3574 I can handle the heat but damn the reception. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3575 Looks much scarier than it did on the iPhone 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3576 With HD, you can really feel the heat. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3577 I don't know - I feel like Satan's kind of phoning it in. And I was a REALLY shitty person to get here. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3578 See Sharon this is why I hate hanging out with your friends. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3579 «Is it me or is it really hot in here?” 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3580 Analog. It just gives me shivers . 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3581 This Lake of Fire Welcome Orientation video loop just goes on forever. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3582 Cuz I'm new here. Why don't you ask the red dude with the horns and pitchfork to change the channel? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3583 At least it isn't cable. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3584 At least we could watch "Bewitched" in the Fifth Circle. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3585 Down here, you would think they'd have cable. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3586 The First Circle is just an orientation class. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3587 Rabbit ears? Hell is going to be worse than i thought! 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3588 At first glance it doesn't seem so bad, but it's all in the details. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3589 It's a pretty straight-forward orientation video. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3590 Wouldn't you know, its always the annual fund drive. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3591 They use to have real fire and brimstone... 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3592 As on Earth, the most fear-producing device down here is now a television. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3593 A 1950's B&W TV with flames 24/7....this is HELL! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3594 What the hell, why doesn't someone turn that infernal thing off? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3595 Ever notice they haven't had to go outside for a single commentator. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3596 These 'virtual' flames are even more hellish in standard definition. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3597 Sorry for the delay. As you can see slight problem with the rotisserie. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3598 No really, it's cold in here. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3599 They were right. I don't exactly feel consumed, do you? 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3600 When do we get to to see the kitchen? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3601 At least it’s not the Rosanne reboot. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3602 Well I for one appreciate a good intro video 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3603 Am I glad I didn't die before they had TV! 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3604 I heard they have cable news in the eighth circle. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3605 If Hell is half as exciting as this preview, it can't be so bad! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3606 They only put the best parts in the trailer, actual eternal damnation probably won't be that good. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3607 Who knew Satan had such a knack for documentaries? 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3608 Reminds me of holidays at your mother's. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3609 You think they'll play 'Hell's Kitchen' next? 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3610 On level 4 they use real fire and it burns your thingy if you stand too close. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3611 Guessing Netflix and chill is not going to be an option. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3612 Turns out, hell is other people. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3613 I don't like the look of the sauna master over there. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3614 Sorry, everyone. I ran out of fire this week. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3615 A preview of what's ahead? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3616 Who knew hell would be just like Christmas? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3617 Talk about eternal suffering! It must be the billionth time I’ve seen this safety video. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3618 You don't get the same effect on a small rabbit-ear tv screen. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3619 My sin? I used to make orientation videos. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3620 Say what you want about the guy, but the economies booming down here. Sure we're all in eternal torment, but unemployment has never been better and we're finally rid of pesky taxes and I don't think we're doing enough to thank him for this. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3621 Ya think he's got any porn? 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3622 What did you do to be sent to the Nielsen Family Circle of Hell? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3623 Virtual hell isn’t so bad after all. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3624 At least it's not static. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
3625 It only gets PBS 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3626 Do you think it's barbecue for lunch again? 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3627 God, I hate Goldman Sachs. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3628 I wasn't complaining, I just said I feel a draft. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3629 Now I know why they let me keep my glasses. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
3630 I assumed there wouldn't be cable down here. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
3631 It's still better than Optimum. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3632 yes, we are virtually in hell! 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3633 No spoilers! 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
3634 Just so long as it's not Fox. Am I right? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
3635 I actually know one of the producers. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
3636 And that completes our fire warden training. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3637 Wait till we are in focus. It's easier to see in the nudist colony exactly where camera adds 10 pounds. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3638 Don't believe everything you see on the tele. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3639 It’s the vacation video. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3640 It's Sean Hannity on loop 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
3641 Wow, this is just like being at my in-laws’. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3642 I never appreciated reality TV until now. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3643 Piece of advice. Don’t ask for ‘Highway to Heaven.’ 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3644 We always knew, television is hell. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3645 I heard the reception is much better once we get inside. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3646 It gets worse; the reruns are in black & white. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3647 Scorned and no remote control - now that's fury. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3648 Watching the Yule Log 24/7 is hell. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3649 Yule log always puts me in the spirit. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3650 I bet heaven has better reception. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3651 The "heat" I can take, but this one channel, "his channel," gets old. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3652 My last binge-watch here lasted 700 years 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3653 I knew there was a special place in hell for TV critics. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3654 The fire and incendiary news network is the only one they show down here. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3655 I should have sprung for the 3D glasses 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3656 The Cult of Eternal Flames wasn't at all how I pictured Hell. For the first time I fit right in. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3657 Hang on folks, this is the White House Press Briefing. Where did I put that 'Welcome to Hell' DVD? 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3658 Hell is analogue with bad signal and no wifi 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3659 If you wanted more channels, maybe you shouldn’t have coveted your neighbor’s wife. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3660 No, the set doesn't have a remote. I told you, the 60's were hell. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3661 Having to binge-watch reruns of my old flame. This is hell alright! 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3662 It's the Hell Christmas Channel. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3663 We should not have gone to this orgy... 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3664 It doesn't get any better than this. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3665 No, it doesn't make sense, does it? Trivago commercials. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3666 Seems like an eternity since the cable went out. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3667 "Naked and Afraid" just doesn't seem as good anymore...... 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3668 With the EPA's new policies, there has been a shortage of coal. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3669 I would sell my soul for a flat screen and a remote. 1.2361 0.06991 72 61 5 6
3670 Those regulatory rollbacks at the EPA are more impactful than we realized. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3671 When we bilked the Alaskan pensioners, I promised you we'd end up someplace warm. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3672 The 2011 version was a hell of a lot better. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3673 It’s called an idiom and no, they’re not giving us our clothes back. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3674 Talk about depressing orientation videos. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3675 It's not as bad as the WPIX "Yule Log." 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3676 Do you think Siri misunderstood my request for directions to Helena? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3677 They said TV programming was going to hell.... 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3678 When Sister Claire told me that I'd burn in Hell, I pictured something entirely different! What about you? 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3679 Let's hope it's just a rerun of that Norwegian log-burning show. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3680 One of his details is a dedication to minimizing Global Warming. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3681 On the upside, reception is good, and there is no volume 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3682 Apparently you guys pay more attention to screens, so here's a 24-hour broadcast of Hell. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3683 Is this the only channel? 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3684 Turns out that global warming was way oversold. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3685 No, this is only purgatory. In Hell, the show is in black and white. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3686 Hell has gone digital. 1.2361 0.06991 72 61 5 6
3687 The hell you say... This is it? 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3688 Uh-oh. They appear to not have cable, and that doesn't look like the Cooking Channel. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3689 Some people just want to watch the world burn... 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3690 The news really makes me glad we're down here. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3691 It’s true what they say -- once you get used to hi-def, watching standard is just torture. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3692 Everything is so artificial these days. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3693 You know it's hell because we still need an antenna. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3694 Nothing but rejected FOX pilots 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3695 Jury duty in Hell is the worst. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3696 Rabbit ears, this is Hell! 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3697 He stars in them all and we gotta watch. It's...well, you know! 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3698 Now I see why Virgil didn't think the satellite locations were worth mentioning. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3699 Today god called in sick, so I'll sub and you'll watch my favorite show, ''the place you idiots should be'' So you don't annoy me 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3700 Outrageous, all of eternity and we still can’t get a good view of the fire and brimstone 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3701 'Don't worry, Sean Hannity comes on at 8.' 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3702 Who knew the place would be run by Norwegians? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3703 So, it turns out that Hell is being stuck for eternity with 1958 technology. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3704 On the upside, unlike the City, you'll find it's a dry heat. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3705 Have you ever wondered where all the blacks went? 1.2361 0.06991 72 61 5 6
3706 The original BBC version is better. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3707 We're paying $133,500 a month for Amazon Fire. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3708 I would have thought that burning in hell would be worse. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3709 It always looks worse on TV. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3710 I thought it would be in color. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3711 I've heard they have had to cut back. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3712 This is eerily reminiscent of the Yule log programming on channel 11. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3713 The real thing just made everyone uncomfortable. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3714 They always try to scare you in these orientation sessions. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3715 Rabbit ears. Rotary phones. TV dinners. They put the boring folks here in the Fifties Palladium. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3716 Enjoy this, in the next 100 years you will be listing to Huckabee Sanders White House briefings 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
3717 I always knew there would be TV in hell. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
3718 It’s called Fire in a Box. 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
3719 It's not even high-def, this really is hell! 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
3720 I'm told this is the orientation for newcomers. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
3721 Rabbit ears! Geez, you'd think they'd at least have cable down here. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
3722 Well I was opposed to the AT&T - Time Warner merger. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
3723 He reruns his greatest hits on Sundays. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
3724 This programming seems redundant. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
3725 Great. We're the theme for next year's Met Gala? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
3726 I feel better about the snowflakes chances now 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
3727 I don't know what's worse; virtual fire or bad reception. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3728 Well, at least it's not C-Span. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3729 I'm just desensitized at this point. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3730 It's just not the same as actually being there. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3731 Sorry folks, the reception’s a bit dodgy down here, but we make do. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3732 I thought that we'd at least get cable. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3733 Welcome to PC Hell. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3734 This is the best we can do until we get the gas turned back on. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3735 Welcome to Hell, we’ve gone analog! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3736 The future looks pretty boring without cable. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3737 At least there are no damn commercials 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3738 Unfortunately, it looks like reality TV will continue forever. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3739 It's surprise "Roast" for someone 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3740 I think I just saw our neighbors, Roger and Donna. Any thoughts on why they're here! 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3741 Was a woman scorned? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3742 Virtual hell is is decidedly less uncomfortable than I deserved. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3743 I'm in. That's what we came here for.. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3744 I’m actually relieved. I was afraid we wouldn’t get “Fox & Friends” down here. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3745 I guess gas prices have gone up again 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3746 Just think - our own reality show! 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3747 They didn't pay the gas bill last month. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3748 To go virtual, he'll have to upgrade his system. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3749 I can't believe they don't have cable! 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3750 We're to choose the lesser of these two evils? I think it's a riddle. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3751 You're lucky, it was a loop of the 2017 inauguration. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3752 Do you think were far enough out of our "comfort zone" for your therapist? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3753 It's for the baby boomers who never really embraced social media. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3754 I'm surprised there are so few techies down here. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3755 i always said watching the yule log was my idea of hell. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3756 Could be another Christie thing. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3757 Sure it's easier, but you don't get that burning flesh smell. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3758 One way to deal with that fake news thing. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3759 They were right: the devil is in the details. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3760 I don't think Dante covered this part. Seems a little Irwin Allenish 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3761 If he every finds out about HDTV we're really going to roast. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3762 We had to put out the real fires cause of global warming, but we figure the tube tv and bunny ears are punishment enough. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3763 It still beats the Rosanne reboot. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3764 Did you know Orientation was all nude? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3765 It's really just reception Hell - anywhere you go here. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3766 Does the sensitivity training video look just like the flaying of the genitals video, or is it just me? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3767 I heard if your liberal and go to hell, the only channel is Fox News. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3768 Sorta takes me back to my college hazing days. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3769 Hottest show yet. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3770 I guess I shouldn’t have made those YOLO jokes about Jesus on Easter. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3771 Cool, they have a video tutorial about what to expect. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3772 Hellevision. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3773 ¨10,000 years and not one commercial. Man, we had it good.¨ 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3774 I can't watch this. There's too much snow. 1.2319 0.07195 69 59 4 6
3775 Lousy movies always seem to go on forever. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3776 I expected weak reception, low definition and no premium channels - but no remote? Pure hell. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3777 I finally realize why, all my life, people kept telling me to go here. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3778 Do you remember where I put my cell phone? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3779 Wait till the 'sweeps'. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3780 Queen of England has plan to take back US after over 200 years of break up! Her son has Married a US subject and their off spring can become US President and reunite the two countries!! 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3781 I'm surprised they don't get Fox News here. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3782 I think we'll be fine until he pays the heating bill. 1.2319 0.06892 69 58 6 5
3783 wow. it's like real fire-and-brimstone, but without the rotten egg smell! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3784 And it's the only channel, too. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3785 Oh man, another rerun. 1.2319 0.06892 69 58 6 5
3786 Welcome to Hell! Please remember to keep your hands and feet inside the Cart at all times. And remember, don't have fun! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3787 Don't worry. It is fake news! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3788 And I thought the Yule log was bad! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3789 I’d sell my soul for a little 4K resolution. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3790 Purgatory ain't hell, but without NetFlix, it might as well be. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3791 It's just the Apprentice on a loop but he's really proud of it. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3792 I heard things get really heated in the second episode. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3793 This isn't torture for my generation, we grew up with black and white TV. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3794 Don't we have anything better to watch than the local news? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3795 Do we really need an infomercial at this point? 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3796 Had I known there was no HDTV, I would have gone to confession. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3797 This is where we came in 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3798 Think he would get offended if I suggest a "flat screen" 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3799 I told you he was cheap - a black and white TV. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3800 We're virtually doomed---no cable; no HD. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3801 And no leaving during commercials. 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
3802 I told you we should have paid for FastPass. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3803 Figures they'd make us watch it on T.V. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3804 It’s only yesterday’s video. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3805 It’s cable news — 24/7. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3806 God, I'm freezing in here. How can we get to that place on the TV? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3807 Seriously??? At least those souls in Purgatory get a flat-screen... 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3808 I think the Grim Reaper really oversold this part. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3809 The reception is a little better on Fox. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3810 Oh the irony...Apple tv. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3811 I'm taking up a collection so he can buy us a 4K HD flatscreen with an Apple TV box. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3812 Its better for the environment than burning coal. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3813 I was thinking business casual, but I can see that was wrong. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3814 Great picture. The images are so deathlike. 1.2319 0.06892 69 58 6 5
3815 It’s their low emissions model 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3816 Oh man! The camera's going to add at least 10 pounds! 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3817 The technology down here is not so hot. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3818 Fake news. I don't know about you but I feel like it's freezing over. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3819 These reruns seem to go on forever. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3820 After your soul is sated with viewing the searing blaze, we begin to stream an endless showing of commercials. Hahahaha! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3821 What do we have to do to get cable around here? 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3822 The immolation will be televised 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3823 I gotta tell you Deb, this timeshare is really the pits. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3824 What did you expect, "living color?" 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3825 Oh great, reruns... I'm pretty sure I know how this show ends. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3826 Well, it's more hopeful than 'The Handmaid's Tale.' 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3827 The commercial breaks are quite a relief 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3828 They say the fire isn't that bad; it's the brimstone that really hurts. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3829 These cost cuts have been Hell. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3830 This week on “Naked and Ablaze” ... 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3831 No cable huh? 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
3832 Welcome to Hell. Three channels - ABC,NBC,and CBS. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3833 ‘This orientation session seems to be focused on a single theme.’ 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3834 Now I see why we won't need our clothes. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3835 Still reality TV, same as life on earth, only we're naked. I'd say hell is an improvement. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3836 They show the ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ re-runs as orientation. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3837 Aren't these safety videos just torture? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3838 One level down they only get podcasted recaps of this show. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3839 Another episode of Brimstone? 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3840 Cutbacks. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3841 I think I would be more scared if it were in HD. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3842 Coachella sucks this year 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3843 I actually don’t mind being in the satellite room. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3844 Was it Sartre or Trump who said, “Hell is fake news”? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3845 It's so busy here now they've stuck us in overflow. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3846 OK, I watched the sales pitch. Can we go home now? 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3847 At least there are no commercial breaks 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3848 I heard the next circle down gets it in 4-D. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3849 I hear they get HD next level up. 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
3850 I always knew that Time Warner merger was trouble. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3851 A virtual Yule log without 4K Ultra HD really is hell. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3852 This new Anti-Harrasment training technique is pretty groundbreaking 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3853 Okay, okay, next commercial break Satan we promise 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3854 I'm a little surprised Hell doesn't have cable news. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3855 Yet another reality show, 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3856 I was wondering what ever became of the Yule Log. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3857 I've already seen this episode. 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
3858 I hear heaven has 65 inch LED showing clouds 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3859 They finally got instant replay. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3860 Seriously no chairs? We'll be standing forever! 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3861 It seems fine now. But wait 'til the commercials. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3862 Netflix and Grill? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3863 You'd think they would have cable in here by now. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3864 I kinda like it here. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3865 There's been some budget cuts. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3866 Auditions for 'Naked in Purgatory' 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3867 200 channels and nothing on. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3868 Of course he couldn't spring for bluray 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3869 It's Amazon Fire--they even deliver here. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3870 I was told that it was hot and one hell of a show. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3871 Listen up, listen up! Today we'll be watching the Emoji Movie. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3872 The Devil is impressed that all of you are so thin! 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3873 That doesn't scare me! I grew up in Hawaii. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3874 Yes, climate change is real; Trump is president and hell IS freezing over. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3875 I can never tell if they're talking about our domestic or foreign policies 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3876 Hey, it still beats Tucker Carlson. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3877 No clothes is one thing, but not having HD is hell. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3878 do I recognize you 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3879 Satan said we earned some screen time. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3880 Hell needs a Jumbotron and I know a guy who could get one below cost. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3881 Thank god they let me take off my shirt. I just got the sweat stains removed! 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3882 I should've known the devil was in the details. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3883 There's no way in Hell we'll ever get better reception. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3884 Welcome to the gates of hell for the technologically impaired. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3885 How much would it cost for them to buy just a basic cable package? 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3886 I can take the heat but not vacation home movies. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3887 What happened to the infomercials? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3888 That old saying "It will be a cold day in hell" should instead have been "when hell gets cable". 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3889 Black and white only, no HD or 3D, not even a remote to fight over. Who knew it would be this bad?! 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3890 I guess this is their idea of porn. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3891 It's hell... We don't get cable. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3892 We are so behind the times. Hades has had an HD flat screen for an eternity now. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3893 Wow, did not think I would be in front of the WPIX Christmas log for eternity. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3894 We apologize- Judgement day has been postponed for technical reasons" "This may take a century or so to correct". "Be patient- Were watching you 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3895 This place just hasn’t been the same since the OSHA inspection. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3896 See! It is always good to turn the other cheek! 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3897 Looks like we got out just in the nick of time. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3898 You don't suppose we could change the channel? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3899 24 hour news would truly be hell. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3900 He's in EVERY commercial. And it's ALL commercials. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3901 Apocalypse, Fear, Conformity: This is what can happen in society when you combine the "you're fired" mentality with flaming lies. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3902 I'm telling you Janice, it's been all downhill since season 3! 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
3903 Fox news, 24/7. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3904 Coal price is up, they need the commercials 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3905 Virtual reality technology would be more convincing, but the reception's not great down here. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3906 Our punishment is to watch this flame in black and white for eternity. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3907 It's hell when you don't have cable! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3908 I heard he's negotiated a cap & trade agreement with China. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3909 Do you think it's too late to reverse global warming? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3910 I just got here, is this the right line?Where's the Beer? 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
3911 I think they call this "hell-lite." 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3912 We also get The Dirt Channel and Stench TV... 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
3913 You're lucky, it was a loop of the 2017 inauguration. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
3914 Yeah, this is the casting-call for Naked & Afraid . 1.2308 0.06301 78 65 8 5
3915 I don't know why I signed up to be a extra in the Andy Warhol reboot. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3916 It must be fake news. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3917 He used to do reality T.V. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3918 "No cable? This IS hell." (Note: italics would come through so I capitalized) 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3919 I wish they would show something new... 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3920 You must watch this instructional video on how to behave in hell. Lose all hope of redemption, remember to scream loudly in agony, and absolutely no horseplay will be tolerated. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3921 I was expecting FOX News. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3922 Maybe we should get a dish. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3923 He's just trying to boost his Nielson ratings. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3924 I see you all dressed for the occasion. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3925 I've sat through a lot of timeshare presentations, and this one isn't nearly as bad. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3926 At least it's not American Idol. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3927 I wondered if Kevin Spacey's stuff was still airing anywhere... 1.2286 0.06801 70 59 6 5
3928 Hell..? I thought we were in Peurto Rico. 1.2286 0.07099 70 60 4 6
3929 Keeping the fires on was just driving up his energy bills. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3930 Did we really have to show up naked for this? 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3931 Fake News.......Fake News 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3932 I HEAR UPSTAIRS HAS FLAT SCREENS WITH MUCH BETTER RECEPTION, BUT IT'S ONLY AN INFOMERCIAL. 1.2286 0.06801 70 59 6 5
3933 He said all the other stations only show "fake news". 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3934 I hope this thing doesn’t last forever. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3935 I shouldn't have burned that Bible. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3936 Ok. Who changed the channel? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3937 Who farted? 1.2281 0.07088 57 47 7 3
3938 If I'd had known I'd be watching tube TV instead of flatscreen for all eternity I would have led a better life. 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
3939 It's better than Fox News Thursdays 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3940 The wages of sin — no Netflix! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3941 No hi-def? Rabbit ears? Naked and freezing? I guess this really is Hell. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3942 Season six of the Apprentice. You? 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3943 I don't think I want to go to hell anymore. 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3944 We get cable news. I wonder how they torture in the eighth circle. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3945 Seriously,the programming is boring, but the commercials are a hoot. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3946 So is this your first time here at burning man or..? 1.2273 0.07094 66 56 5 5
3947 I get the long wait time, clothes optional, and the creepy guide, but whence the closed circuit yule log? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3948 Keeping the rabbit ears adjusted properly to be able to see the flames clearly is hell. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3949 "Not sure how useful a safety video is in hell. His lawyers probably make him do it just in case. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3950 It's hell, no Netflix. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3951 This has been in reruns forever. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3952 This is what happens whenever oil hits $70 a barrel. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3953 Do you think he'll get mad if we vote to turn on ESPN? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3954 Nancy Reagan was right. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3955 Figures - more reruns! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3956 Ask him if he has the Comedy channel. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3957 Now just where would I get aluminum foil? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3958 The standard definition's a nice touch. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3959 Next month, it's the golf channel. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3960 This one doesn't make much sense unless you've seen prequel. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3961 I hate closed circuit TV. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3962 Where l come from we just call this fake news. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3963 Sartre said, "Hell is other people"; I say, "Hell is a second season of "Flame"!" 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3964 Standard definition TV? This is gonna be worse than I thought. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3965 They only have basic cable. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3966 He's skinnier than I remember. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3967 I expected cable, but the remote would always be out of reach. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3968 What really burns me is that they have only one subscription to Netflix. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3969 They're going to start us off with continuous reruns of the Republican Presidential debates. 1.2273 0.07094 66 56 5 5
3970 Like everything else around here, this orientation presentation is pure hell. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3971 At least they're doing something about global warming. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3972 Not that I'm complaining, but it appears the energy crisis is not limited to just the living. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3973 The torture is the size of the TV, right? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3974 What a sham! I'm calling my priest. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3975 After hiring a few consultants, Satan has decided to ramp up his digital strategy to make the platform more accessible. 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3976 It's either the Flame Channel, the Shopping Channel, or Fox News. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3977 I'm not sure a Zenith was the right choice. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3978 When this presentation is finished, we can enjoy our free weekend! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3979 At least its better than Ishtar. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3980 Joke’s on him. I love reality TV. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3981 Hell’s Yule Log - A Netflix Original 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3982 I had ultra hi-def. This is hell. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3983 Reruns only in Hell 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3984 Oh, good. It's HDTV. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3985 I understand they're getting cable sometime this millennium. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3986 It used to be C-SPAN. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3987 They are still using rabbit ears! 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3988 How long until it's on Netflix? 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3989 It's hell to watch without a high-definition TV. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3990 I hear we're saving on fuel costs and reducing hell's carbon footprint but I'm a little chilly. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3991 But Dante’s didn’t have a TV. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3992 I heard all the other channels have the same programming. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3993 I think we're in meta-hell. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3994 The times change, before he personally guided us in a satanic prayer and then we did the orgy 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3995 Keeping eternal damnation hot has gotten really expensive --so we're using this TV image to save energy and remind you that even Lucifer cares about his environment. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3996 I told you it wouldn't be so bad. 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3997 Yeah... They are still in the pre-smart phone era down here. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3998 Hell's going green. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3999 Just great. They have telecommuting here, too? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4000 I barely remember when pornography gave me a buzz. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4001 *sigh*... Al Gore got it right! 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4002 This is a repeat. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4003 We watched this episode last week. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4004 Sure, the fire will prevent eternal shrinkage, but they don't warn you about the side effects of brimstone. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4005 Bonnie, where in Hell is Clyde? 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4006 Spoiler Alert! I already know how this series ends. He receives the Nobel next...the mushroom cloud isn't until season eight. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4007 But the reception is great! 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4008 Remind me why we signed up for this? 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4009 Where's the signal coming from? 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4010 Is this the ONLY channel?? This MUST be hell!! 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4011 I'm glad virtual reality never really caught on down here. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4012 You're lucky you're new here. We only got the antenna last week. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4013 Honestly, it beats reruns. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4014 Climate change is a hoax. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4015 What did you expect Purgatory to be like? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4016 Humanity outgrew Hell so now they have these satellite locations where they just pipe in the feed on closed circuit televisions. Oh, this? It's cold in here. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4017 Ok, get ready. This is the best part. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4018 Bingeing is what got me here in the first place. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4019 I saw this one last week. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4020 This is one helluva timeshare sales pitch! 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4021 What, no flat screen? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4022 Do you think they get the nature channel? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4023 Oh, it’s the fire next time. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4024 This is just a warmup, wait until we get to the 9th circle. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4025 The irony is I love orientations. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4026 This was definitely not in the brochure 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
4027 I guess the revolutionWILL be televised 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4028 Hey, it still beats CNN! 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4029 Ours is such a low budget religion. They also won't provide clothing. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4030 I don't think Lucifer knows how propaganda works... 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4031 Budget cuts have hit our department hard 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4032 Loving Comic-Con's retro theme this year. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4033 If this is all they've got, I'm gonna need a sweater. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4034 It's Hell not having a large screen! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4035 reminds me of Christmas in California 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4036 They lost the remote control. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4037 It's Direct-From-Hell TV. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4038 Unseasonably warm with no cable TV feed...this must be Purgatory. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4039 Looks like an eternity of reality TV. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4040 How much longer is the movie? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4041 First eternal damnation, and now no cable? 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4042 We saw this last week!! I thought we were going to watch "Heaven Can Wait" tonight. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4043 That's cool! 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4044 HELLUVA PLACE FOR A VACATION ! 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4045 Uh, oh! Frozen is on next. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4046 And I thought my biggest problem was male-pattern baldness 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4047 They must have cut the special effects budget. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4048 At least they let me keep my Glasses... 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4049 I miss the log. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4050 Having to stare at these flames on an old black and white TV for all of eternity is pure hell. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4051 Abandon cable and streaming all ye who enter here. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4052 Anthony Bourdain always makes it look like it's more fun than it really is. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
4053 It was this or Barney. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4054 Welcome to the 10th Circle - Old Appliances. 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
4055 Cannot believe how many showed up fo the PrepH ad audition. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
4056 We should ask if they get the snow channel. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
4057 Thank god it's not CNN. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
4058 It cut the heating bill by 90% 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
4059 On the bright side...at least we can see the TV. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
4060 Worse than I expected . 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
4061 At least there aren’t any commercials 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
4062 I'm not sure what's worse about Hell, the eternal torment or the fact that this TV is clearly from the 1950's. 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
4063 I've seen this at least 100 times let's get out of here 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
4064 Standard-def... They thought of everything. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4065 Hell is black and white. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4066 An eternity of advertisements? Hell! 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4067 Compared to my political life, this ain't so bad. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
4068 Is this one of those fireplace screensavers? 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4069 This must be hell. It's another episode of Judge Judy. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4070 We’re waiting for the Fox News coverage to begin. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4071 If this wasn't hell, I'd have left already. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4072 Anybody else getting kinda hot? 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4073 Ozone alert. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4074 I think I need his fork for a better signal. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4075 I hope we don't have to watch that again. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4076 Fox News all the time. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4077 I wish I checked if they had cable before signing up for eternity. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4078 Knowing this would be the outcome I think I still would have opted for "Netflix and chill". 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4079 “I saw the original. Having to watch it again in black and white is torture”. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4080 Don’t worry. It’s probably just more ‘fake news’ from CNN. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4081 I could be wrong, but I don't think that's a Yule log.... 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4082 It's good, but I don't think he should submit it to Sundance. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4083 Ooooh, I hope they’re playing reruns of “The Beverly Hillbillies”! 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4084 I forgot my razor. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4085 Not that I'm complaining, but couldn't they at least have gotten a flat-screen? 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4086 This is better than I thought. I was thinking Hell would be the continuous watching of Law&Order SVU. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4087 I heard this place would be bad, but not this bad. 1.2239 0.05131 67 52 15 0
4088 First, you need to visualize each other with clothes on. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4089 This is not going to be a Hollywood ending. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
4090 I prefer the Yule log. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
4091 At least we'll be warm. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
4092 I'd guess door number two. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
4093 It's usually "Caillou." 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
4094 They change the channel to "Brimstone" when they want higher ratings. 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
4095 Market research at Fox News. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4096 Huh. It's not even Hi-Def. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4097 I heard they haves some really hot reruns. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4098 Do you think sunblock will help? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4099 A television with rabbit ears? This is Hell! 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4100 One hell of a sauna, isn't it? 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4101 These "Fire & Fury" re-runs are getting kinda old. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4102 It's either this, or re-runs of Baywatch. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4103 Is this on Netflix? 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4104 Still better than real housewives of Orange county. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4105 I'd rather be in he'll than watch another training film! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4106 No, I’m NOT relieved; I still hate cultural relativism. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4107 This would be so much better in HD. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4108 I understand the orientation viveo was produced by Harvey Weinstein. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4109 I’m eternally grateful for what he’s doing to reduce his carbon footprint. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4110 You can tell he's getting lazy. This is exactly what I did with my kid. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4111 We must be in hell. There's no cable. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
4112 This is the best part of eternity. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4113 Well, that’s a relief 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4114 No HD flatscreen. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4115 It's hotter in the movie version. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4116 The coming attractions are endless. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4117 What do you think Rorschach would say? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4118 Who knew? Talbot's "no return" policy is quite literal. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4119 At least he could have had it in color. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4120 As least there aren’t commercials... 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4121 I have no regrets, now. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4122 Yep, you really feel it with these new ambient TVs. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4123 It's better than having to watch Rosanne! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4124 See, I told you we were overdressed. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4125 Impeachment proceedings linger on... 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4126 Ray is really taking "radical transparency" to a new level. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4127 I don't know whether to be relieved or insulted. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4128 I still say it was worth it. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4129 I must admit it, it looks pretty scarry but you were worth it! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4130 I mean it, no more time share presentations. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4131 Why are we always naked down here? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4132 They really should update their introductory video. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4133 I guess Hell really is not having 24 hour programming. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4134 I hope we are dressed for the occasion. 1.2188 0.07206 64 55 4 5
4135 This is hell, no flat screen TV and I'm freakin' cold. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4136 I was hoping he’d at least have cable. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4137 I swear I saw this same video that last time I did jury duty. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4138 'Eternity? Pah! I stuck with The Walking Dead for 8 seasons...' 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4139 I’ll be damned! You just don’t see low resolution sets with the 4:3 aspect ratio anymore. This is going to suck. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4140 This is nothing. Wait until we have to watch the Yule log during the entire holiday season. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4141 Climate change is real. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4142 It's just the trailer. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4143 It's one hell of a first day. Fire safety video, then dress code and a harassment lecture from the boss. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4144 Nice atmosphere, but the strip search feels a little TSA. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4145 I guess we can look forward to an eternity of reruns. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4146 Oh good, this is my favorite one. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4147 Didn't you hear? The board cut Hell's budget last Friday. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4148 Did anybody ask if we could watch hell and damnation on a flat screen? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4149 I told you it would be like this - everything is in black and white and there's no remote. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4150 Goebbels told me they have a flatscreen in the 5th circle if you want to get out of here. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4151 We're in training to survive global warming. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4152 The reception is great, but the picture is really hell. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4153 Even the flames are naked. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4154 I love this part! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4155 Sweeps week again - great. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4156 Much better than the Yule Log. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4157 It’s only temporary. We’re waiting for the coal delivery. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
4158 Can we get a different channel? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4159 Seriously, in the molten center of the earth, a rabbit ear antenna? 1.2188 0.07206 64 55 4 5
4160 Things could be worse. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4161 Given their unlimited funding, I was expecting 4K with HDR. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4162 They told me there would be cable. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4163 I liked the last season better. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4164 It was nice of them to let me keep my glasses. 1.2188 0.07206 64 55 4 5
4165 It's The Apprentice. The Republicans are in the other room watching Morning Joe. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4166 Shall we watch the royal wedding again? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4167 Spoiler alert for venial sinners! 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4168 Nudist resorts always get the best timeshare presentations. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4169 You really think after just 6 weeks we’ll have flaming hot abs? 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4170 And I thought it was bad when there were only 3 networks. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4171 Hell is worse than I imagined. Black & White, for eternity. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4172 Have you noticed that it is not as hot in here since the old man got into wide screen and hi-def? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4173 He tells the FoxNews watchers it's Hannity and they believe it. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4174 ...I knew all along that getting rid of analog TVs was Satan’s doing... 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4175 It's dress down Friday. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4176 Why didn't they mess with the vertical hold? Seems like a missed opportunity. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4177 Those rabbit ears are so retro. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4178 The symbolic fire I get, but the endless commercials? All I did was sell network time. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4179 It's by the same show runner that did the yule log. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4180 So hard to believe that in all places, there's no cable in Hell. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4181 It's going to take eternity until they subscribe to cable. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4182 Hell be damned! I could get used to this place. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4183 Is this the episode where Ross and Rachel... 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4184 It lacks a human element. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4185 The lake of fire is full. We have to watch from the annex. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4186 You go to porn if you watch hell. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4187 Sort of makes me miss the Yule Log 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4188 It's a hell of a good signal for down here. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4189 These guys must be fascinated by the possibilities in global warming. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4190 The flames aren't the punishment, it's the knowing we could be watching them on 4K LED 55" flatscreen. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4191 Apple TV. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4192 I'm really glad Hell has gone high tech. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4193 This must be one of the lesser rings of hell, it hasn't gone to commercial even once yet. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4194 Given our situation, you wouldn't think I'd be aroused by a cheesy fireplace-video. But looky here! 1.2188 0.07206 64 55 4 5
4195 Believe me, it's far worse than real flames for us A/V geeks. The aspect ratio is all wrong. 1.2188 0.07206 64 55 4 5
4196 "So *this* is hell: not having cable! 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4197 The fire I don’t mind, but that brimstone sure chafes … 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4198 Really though, it's the other people. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4199 Nudist Airlines! Another of your great ideas 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4200 This is Purgatory -- on Channel 7 is Hell 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4201 Where's the nuance? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4202 I like the brimstone network better. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4203 No spoilers, ok? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4204 These budget cuts really decrease the effectiveness. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4205 It reduces our carbon emissions to fall within government guidelines. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4206 Oh, no, each season is always a slow burn. Just give it a few more episodes. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4207 Oh gracious. I mean OF COURSE it's not even in HD. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4208 Now that you've completed orientation it's time to meet your fellow sufferers. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4209 I love these intro videos. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4210 I told you it would be nothing but Fox News. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4211 Perhaps it's time to get cable? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4212 Surprisingly good reception for rabbit ears. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4213 It just doesn’t have the same effect since Nelly’s copyright lawsuit. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4214 This is Hell, no live streaming. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4215 When I said you were hot... and you told me to go to hell... well, I meant it. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4216 This is one hell of an introduction to hell! Where are the toilets? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4217 And you used to hate commercials. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4218 It’s either this or the Kardashians. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4219 This global warming thing has gotten completely out of control. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4220 Once orientation is complete, we shall begin again. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4221 Looks like Hell is watching FOX & FRIENDS on perpetual loop! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4222 There wasn't enough room in the main hall, so this is the best we could do. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4223 I kinda liked the flames before Hell went private and Netflix serialized them. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4224 His attempt at virtual reality. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4225 Don’t you love the underwear ads? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4226 Nice reception. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4227 This really is Hell! No streaming, satellite or cable. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4228 This must be his version of the Yule log... 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4229 I hear in the third ring the flames are in HD. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4230 It's only the 10 millionth time they had played "Burn Baby Burn!" 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4231 it doesn't look like a sauna party to me. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4232 You'd think they would have a flatscreen for the official orientation. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4233 At least they haven't discovered virtual reality. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4234 The Apprentice with Trump and Omarosa again? Why didn’t I say my prayers???!!! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4235 I hear KISS is playing at halftime. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4236 Telehell 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4237 Regular TV? Nooooooo!!! 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4238 What I really hate is they never say “spoiler alert” down here. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4239 This won't be too bad. I can do all the reading I was putting off. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4240 Think we'll get an air conditioner next? 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4241 No I'm not Andy Cohen's boyfriend, I'm his husband! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4242 I know we took a few years off, but I didn't realize Burning Man had become so literal. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4243 Frankly, I'm OK with the budget cuts. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4244 He said "due to the Devil's executive bonus last year, certain budget cuts are in effect." 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4245 I knew I was going to damnation, but never suspected "the fire" was fake news! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4246 I sure do miss Netflix and chill. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4247 It's not exactly purgatory, but you are fairly warm 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4248 Rabbit ears, this is Hell! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4249 Trump proved we really were the Great Satan 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
4250 It's been like this since he ran out of brimstone. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
4251 See I told you, first we got here in a handbasket, and now they don't have cable. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
4252 I didn't pack any summer clothes. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
4253 I heard the big-time sinners get the Jumbotron. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
4254 I was expecting a more high tech preview of our accommodations. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
4255 The hell part is that it's not in 4k Ultra HD. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4256 It’s a “clean air” initiative. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4257 I heard that Hell freezes over during this 90 minute introductory video. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4258 Excuse me, but is this the open casting for the new Netflix docuseries? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4259 I came prepared for the heat. I wasn't expecting virtual-reality hell. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
4260 The sound track is unbearable. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4261 I don't think we're at Club Med anymore. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
4262 We should have signed up for the Platinum package. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4263 Don't complain. The only other program that's been broadcasting this long is The Simpsons. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4264 I hear the diversity training at Starbucks is way more intense. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4265 I heard you could have skipped this part of the orientation if you filled out their online questionnaire. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4266 When it comes to timeshares, the devil is in the details. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4267 He's really sold his soul for the ratings. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4268 I could honestly watch this forever. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4269 They won't pay for cable or HDTV, so all we get is this one channel in standard definition. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4270 Ladies and gentlemen, a preview of the upcoming warm reception. 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
4271 If he would use the trident instead of the rabbit ears antenna we might be able to get something more interesting. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4272 This "no smoking" thing has gone too far. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
4273 And then she said you can go to hell. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4274 Definitely hell, McLuhan would be rolling his eyes 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4275 Phew......purgatory. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4276 Could you turn the volume up? It's getting chilly in here. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4277 No cable? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4278 The Bible was wrong. It seems the wages of sin is no cable. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4279 The real torture is watching the flames of hell in standard definition. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
4280 And I thought hell was only watching reality shows.... 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4281 This program is on an infinite loop. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4282 I hate watching re-runs, don't you? 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4283 It’s more energy efficient, but I think my sins deserve greater realism. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4284 At least this receiver gets snow. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4285 Have you seen this one yet? It’s kind of a cult classic. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4286 That's show business - better than the real thing, usually. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
4287 No cable? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4288 You know, part of me was hoping for a little more misery 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
4289 Same channel, different day. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
4290 Hell is having no internet access 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
4291 I never expected there would be an orientation to hell. 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
4292 If you're really bad they make you hold the antenna. 1.2143 0.07258 42 34 7 1
4293 Do you think he’d get mad if I asked him to switch the channel to the Winter Olympics? 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4294 It could be worse — I hear the Ninth Circle is “Judge Judy” reruns. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4295 So this is the fate of reality TV producers. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4296 What, no Netflix? This is Hell. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4297 Just our luck. Another one of those reality shows. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4298 What time does “Brimstone” come on? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4299 Looks like Hell is right on track to reduce carbon emissions by 2024. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4300 Welcome to the hell of 'masochistic technophiles' 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4301 Welcome to the Fire and Fury tour. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4302 I think he said that this is reality TV. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4303 It's Trump's version of Big Brother. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4304 It’s just like watching the Super Bowl—the beer commercials are the best part! 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4305 ‘Fire & Brimstone’ comes on right after QVC. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4306 The weather forecast here is so predictable. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4307 I heard they brought this in to reduce their carbon emissions. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4308 I used to love the Yule Log channel. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4309 I was miss led believing to have signed up for a nudest camp. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4310 Conservation of Energy says that Global Warming has to come from somewhere. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4311 It really is hell without cable 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4312 He’s in better shape than all of us. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4313 Hell? It seems like the L train to me. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4314 Since we switched to virtual fire, Lucifer has really making great strides in dealing with climate change. When the Trump administration finally get here it will be pure torture for them all! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4315 The supposed conflagration in heaven - fake news! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4316 No, we’re the half-time show. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4317 Only millennials require orientation. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4318 Only one channel on a black and white tube TV? Yeah, this is definitely hell. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4319 The presidency has commenced. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4320 There you have it -- having no Internet is truly hell. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4321 Do you think we can watch something other than the USA news coverage? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4322 Feelin' the Bern? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4323 It's hell to watch on these old tube TVs. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4324 You must watch nonstop Fox News. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4325 We don't even deserve a 40 inch? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4326 I've already seen this movie. Trust me, tonight's not the right time to get pregnant. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4327 This is one reality show too many. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4328 I hear that the devil considers global warming to be a threat to the franchise. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4329 Can you believe I used to pay for this station? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4330 Do you think we get any other channel? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4331 "You're fired!" really means something when the really big one says it. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4332 I hope everyone is enjoying their complementary weekend. Now, please take a look at this short video about our timeshare program. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4333 "Visualize eternal torment"? The self-help industry has gone to hell. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4334 They need to tune it in to a station. This is their version of Snow. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4335 See? I told you climate change denial was a sin. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4336 Worse yet, there's no remote! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4337 God, poor reception is the least of our worries! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4338 I didn’t expect Hell to have an HR welcome video. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4339 This is the third circle where liberals are condemned to Fox News for eternity. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4340 The trailer shows all the best parts. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4341 Am I in heaven? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4342 It's worse than I thought...pay TV! 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4343 Somehow the eternal flames don't seem as bad when they're not in high-def! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4344 You'd think they'd have cable here but the Devil's in the details, eh? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4345 I hate the commercials. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4346 It would be so much worse in HD. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4347 Apparently, fire and brimstone and safety videos got somewhat lost in translation. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4348 Welcome. You have all done hot yoga at least one time in your life. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4349 Playing Ring of Fire over and over is really twisted. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4350 It’s true torture. We watch but the plot never changes. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4351 Makes me wonder if "The Yule Log" was just a premonition. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4352 If we pretend to like the show, he might change the channel. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4353 Only one channel and rabbit ears only? No cable? I guess this really is hell. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4354 Yeah, I dig the nudity, but I’m kind of surprised they don’t have cable down here. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4355 I hear this is the “green room” to the real fire and brimstone. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4356 When does Roy Cohn come on? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4357 This is one hell of a meet and greet. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4358 Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4359 It's a "spare the air" day. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4360 Fire is Circle One. Brimstone comes with basic cable in Circle Two. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4361 It will be a hell of a lot more realistic when we upgrade to HD next week. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4362 In order to cut back on operations costs, we've had to make a few financial cutbacks and role out green initiatives. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4363 Leave it to Belial to ruin s'mores night. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4364 So, you played a lot of video games too, eh ...?? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4365 Yes, even down here we rest on the Sabbath. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4366 You know you’re in hell when they don’t have cable. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4367 Nothing but re-runs. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4368 Man, I'm glad I don't work in the White House. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4369 Oh, great a training video. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4370 I'm hoping the high water class is next. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4371 Only the fireplace telecast? I should have known better than to ask for a Christmas celebration here. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4372 What in hell is that on the TV? 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4373 I would have thought the devil would have High Def 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4374 No HD, this is hell! 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4375 I hate summer re-runs. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4376 Just be glad he didn't play the x-rated version. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4377 Nice to know the news is still the same. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4378 And I thought watching the Yule Log was hellish when I was a kid. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4379 It’s hell not having HDTV 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4380 And that was when they realized even a hellish fantasy is better than naked reality. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4381 I live for the beer commercials. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4382 I was fired once. It isn't that bad. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4383 Everything’s going straight to the small screen these days. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4384 I always liked the previews. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4385 Pass me the remote. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4386 Is Jeopardy still on at the same time at least? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4387 Do you think spf 50 will be enough? 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4388 Rabbit ears and no clothing? budget cuts followed us to hell apparently.. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4389 Budget Cuts- I guess Hell has still not recovered from the reccession. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4390 Wait until the part where it breaks loose. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4391 Of course it changes! At five they make us watch Fox News. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4392 "He says it's fake news, and I believe him. After all, he cut our taxes, and he's not going to let any immigrants in. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4393 Okay, Okay, Who changed the channel from Fox News? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4394 At 7, they start showing "The Apprentice" and other shows from Hell! 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4395 I'll bet he plays the 'Yule Log' at Christmas! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4396 Looks like Hell out there. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4397 I fell into a burning 24-hour news cycle of fire. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4398 In heaven, they have cable and a flat screen. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4399 I guess it was foolish to hope that Hell had cable. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4400 I knew it was supposed to be bad. But not even basic cable? 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4401 If this is what they meant by the welcoming reception, I'm going back to purgatory. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4402 I knew it; Hell is watching a terrible program for eternity without the remote! 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4403 Oh my God, no cable and no remote —even worse than I thought ! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4404 I don't mind the nudity, but you'd think they'd at least have the courtesy to get HBO. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4405 I expected burning in hell was at least a 4K experience. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4406 ‘Orientation Week to Eternal Damnation’ somehow seems perfunctory. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4407 Actually, it's for the energy savings - he's going green. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4408 Apparently we all worked for home shopping networks 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4409 It's torture having somebody tall stand in front of you. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4410 More fake news! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4411 It's an election year 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4412 It's better then winter in Minnesotan! 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4413 It would look better on HDTV. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4414 This is old footage. I saw it live last week. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4415 Yeah, that's what McLuhan said, too—don't be fooled by the bunny ears. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4416 I guess the brimstone is in UHF. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4417 You're telling me God didn't clarify that Fire & Brimstone is a soap opera? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4418 No worries, it's fake news! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4419 I don’t think it’s ‘The Christmas Log’ channel . 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4420 It’s better than reality. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4421 Fire and brimstone I could accept, but reality TV for eternity is an unfair torment. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4422 This weeks contest will be all Kardashian comments. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4423 Who knew so many hated the yule log. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4424 I didn't believe there'd be a special place in hell for remote hogs. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4425 Saves on fuel costs. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4426 They have HBO, but someone lost the remote. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4427 I've heard of ratings hell but this is ridiculous. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4428 Your first step in orientation is this short video called 'The Yule Log of Hell.' After that, we will get to the hands on portion of the presentation. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4429 It's a lot better than the original. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4430 What the hell... no flat screen!? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4431 The flames are much lower budget up here in the first ring. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4432 Prep for when fossil fuels run out. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4433 It may not be exactly frozen, but it is way cooler, now. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4434 He’s explaining what to expect with the new clean air regulations. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4435 I hear everyone in heaven gets their own individual VR headset, but clouds are boring. I much prefer watching a fire, don't you? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4436 It's a promo for our annual fire sale. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4437 Health and safety presentation- who'd have thunk it! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4438 Sure we save on the gas bill but the atmosphere just isn’t the same. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4439 What can be a more sinister punishment than watching an old, B/W TV forever? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4440 Wonder if they hold the "burning in hell" licensing rights down here? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4441 I can take you to heaven. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4442 I don't believe that suntan lotion is part of the package. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4443 We should get closer to feel the warmth. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4444 I get so tired of watching The Weather Channel. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4445 I hear our eternal damnation is getting upgraded to HD 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4446 Is this your first time at Discount Hot Yoga? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4447 I want a divorce. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4448 The previews look pretty exciting. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4449 They finally ran out of space down there. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4450 I guess the devil is in the details. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4451 all you get down here are re-runs... 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4452 It's not what it's cracked up to be. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4453 It's not as cozy as the electronic Yule log. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4454 I hear they have HD upstairs. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4455 Did you ever think that Hell would be an eternity watching the Yule Log on TV? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4456 No flat screen? This is hell. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4457 If we want brimstone, we have to get cable. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4458 Oh thats just GREAT, they had to throw in a spoiler. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4459 The Naked Truth: even in Hell, the devil can't compete with TV 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4460 I bet that boring Yule log was the devils work 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4461 Did you microwave the frozen rabbit? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4462 I love previews! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4463 I have to admit: I always liked "Naked and Afraid." 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4464 The do this every year on July 14th, National Nude day... It's supposed to be our version of the Christmas Yule log... 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4465 I think in this case TV works so much better than VR 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4466 I smuggled in marshmallow pasties. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4467 They could at least use the wide-screen version! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4468 No cable HD? Wow, they think of everything. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4469 You have all been such great guests so all enjoy unlimited "fun" in room 666. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4470 Yes, Margaret, I’m sorry I hogged the remote. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4471 That's Hell, all right. They don't even have flat-screen TV. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4472 I was banking on this show getting cancelled. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4473 It’s an old show from before the neo-Trumpian era, with the tag line “you’re fired”. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4474 I'd rather watch the aquarium channel. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4475 I don’t suppose you brought a remote. 1.2097 0.06951 62 53 5 4
4476 Welcome to the afterlife. Those assigned to go to the right: Here is a teaser for the rising of heavenly pleasures. To those assigned to the left: Behold the furnance of hell. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
4477 I never really like reality television, but I'm starting to warm up to it! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4478 It's kinda boring, don't ya think? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4479 I said engorged not inflamed. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4480 I thought this was supposed to be an orgy. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
4481 You'd think they could afford 1080p heat. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4482 At least it's not snow. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4483 Of course we have a back-up system down here - it’s the Yule Log. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4484 Alexa, ‘Is ‘All in the Family,’ on’? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
4485 We'll be focus grouping the new Real Housewives. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
4486 The image is crystal clear. The cable guy must be around. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4487 Things were going along pretty well until people started telling me that I had an uncanny resemblance to Steve Mnuchin. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
4488 The infomercial for this place seems to run eternally. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4489 I was never really a big fan of coming attractions. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4490 It’s painful enough to watch in hi-def. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4491 It could be worse. It could be Facebook. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4492 Now that we know the rules, let's start having fun! 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4493 Look on the bright side, it's not Fox & Friends in HD. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4494 Yes Trumps White House 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4495 I prefer the burning log 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4496 Looks all the same to me! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4497 Ha, and you said the smoking ban would ruin the ambience 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4498 At least they get CNN. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4499 Don’t worry. We’ll only be here til the warranty runs out. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4500 Just wait til he passes out the 3D glasses. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4501 Is there anything else on besides the weather channel? It is not as if we can dress appropriately. To hell with bare-bones cable. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4502 I used to hate these kind of fake images.But now I kind of like them, 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4503 I don’t think looking at it is making me any warmer. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4504 But first---a word from our Sponsors. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4505 It's either this or reruns of Leave It to Beaver. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4506 New members welcome weenie roast, come as you are 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
4507 You're Fired! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4508 Will there be more commercials or fewer? 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4509 Satan's fat burning video, it's hellish! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4510 Analog TV? Now I'm certain where we are. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4511 Well, it’s certainly more entertaining than watching snow on the TV 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4512 It's a re-run of "The Bridge Over the River Styx" 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4513 We gotta be in hell-no hi def! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4514 The cable guy said he'd rather die first. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4515 I hear in Heaven they have 4K flat screens. This is downright painful. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4516 Even Beelzebub is sticking it to Trump, he stopped importing coal. 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
4517 I ate meat on Friday. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4518 This is hell alright but imagine if it was CSPAN. 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
4519 Just a preview of what you're all in for, so wearing clothing is not an option. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4520 We were going to use Fox News, but they sued us. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4521 This must be hell, it's not HD. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4522 I figured it would be bad, but I didn't think it was going to be no flat screen, no cable bad. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4523 Without cable and HD, fire and brimstone is underwhelming...I am starting to feel better about my choices! 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4524 Wow, that's really hot. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4525 The fires of Hell aren't even in HD? This IS torture! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4526 Nude we say more? 1.2063 0.07212 63 55 3 5
4527 Oh my God - we have to suffer through retro again? 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4528 I'm cold!" "Jezus it's only been 5 minutes, can't you at least wait till after the instruction video is over? 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4529 We have to watch that Yulelog for eternity. It really is hell. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4530 Like we were supposed to know it promotes false gods . . . 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4531 I hope you remembered to pack a lot of sunscreen, for us. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4532 Do you think we get HBO? 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
4533 No big screen? No HD? This place really is Hell. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4534 You expected Cable? 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4535 I hear they have HD upstairs. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4536 We're still working on the virtual reality surround images. Until that happens we're asking you to visualise the situation! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4537 I think he's trying to tell us something 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4538 The cable guy is coming to fix it sometime between 2018 and 2021. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4539 It's Christmas. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4540 I'm going to run to the restroom, want me to grab you popcorn or anything? 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4541 Well, that’s a relief 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
4542 I hear on Christmas Eve they switch to the "Yule Log." 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
4543 All the commercials are for " fire sales ". 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
4544 And now backs to our regularly scheduled program, 'The Sean Hannity Show' 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
4545 I hear the previews are nowhere near as hot as the coming attrition. 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
4546 I see my fashion sense is in sinc with the rest of the world. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4547 Maybe if we turn the antenna 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4548 You would think they at least would have air conditioning for the orientation. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4549 . . . and now back to the "Apprentice" marathon featuring Donald Trump. 1.2031 0.07106 64 56 3 5
4550 This is overflow hell. Only big time sinners get to be court side. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4551 Which weapon accessory do you pick: the tail or the spear? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4552 I am so tired of his syndicated programs. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4553 Pretty good reception down here. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4554 On the other hand they might send us back to the reality show 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4555 Reality TV — seems like it’s just as fakey here. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4556 I told you working here would be a virtual hell. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4557 Hey, I think you're hot! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4558 I hear he’s adding the Brimstone Channel next month. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4559 Are you auditioning for the last episode too? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4560 It's not in HD - this'll be worse than I thought. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4561 It's a lot more environmentally friendly. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4562 After the show, wanna get some Starbuck's blonde, naked? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4563 As if hell isn't bad enough -- overflow hell? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4564 Damn, the Fire Channel again? 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4565 Old school intake video....nice 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4566 So here he'll be watching us? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4567 Would you prefer virtual flames, virtual clothes, or virtual satan? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4568 I told you it was a bad idea to illegally share your friend's netflix account! 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4569 Virtual Hell ain’t so bad. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4570 Seen it. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4571 Dare me to move the antenna and make it snow? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4572 The Presidential State of the Union will begin momentarily. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4573 I thought I was okay with the whole 'you're going to spend eternity in hell' thing, but I still have not come to grips with the rabbit ears. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4574 If it's only on the small screen, that means that we're in purgatory. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4575 I guess we're dead, and this is orientation? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4576 Dante never mentioned that we have to pay for cable! 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4577 I didn't realize everyone would be nude. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4578 I was attending the nudists' museum tour and boom, here I am. 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4579 Woah, Trump did that?! 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4580 He's a throw-back! I thought he'd have streaming and a flat-screen for sure. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4581 No cable. EXACTLY what I expected. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4582 They're a bit nostalgic since they went microwave. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4583 You'd think the Prince of Darkness could afford a better TV. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4584 The pre-show is hell 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4585 Are you kidding me? Only one channel, and it's the Christmas Yule log? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4586 This was the last check-off on my bucket list. How about you? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4587 I still think the book was better !! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4588 They always make us sit through the coming attractions 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4589 Fired up?? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4590 Low-def TV? This really is hell. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4591 Can you believe this? Even my smallest crack house had cable. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4592 This season of Hell’s Kitchen hits a little too close to home. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4593 Why no sound? That's torture! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4594 Hannity's on again. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4595 This doesn't really work if we're all just going to pretend we came here ironically. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4596 It would be much more effective on a large screen TV. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4597 It's the same compilation of Trump's speeches they show 24/7. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4598 Its going to be torture not getting Netflix here 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4599 I would have at least bargained for a flat screen. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4600 Well, at least it's not letterboxed... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4601 We can carry on sinning here. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4602 I always said watching reality TV was hellish. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4603 Is the yule log all we get on TV here? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4604 I'm very disappointed. Ditch the antenna and get cable tv. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4605 It's really neat - they show it every Christmas all day. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4606 I heard we get project runway down here 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4607 I never guessed a physical was part of the entrance exam. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4608 I'm told that back in the seven hundred-twelfth season, something might have happened. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4609 I love the trailers for the new shows. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4610 You'd think they could afford an upgrade on the monitor. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4611 I can't believe budget cuts have trickled all the way down to Hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4612 I'm not too worried. He doesn't even have cable yet! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4613 Well, at least it's commercial free.... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4614 just as I feared. My parents' television and the eternal yule log. great. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4615 I thought Minow had it right with the "vast wasteland" thing, but this is worse that I thought. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4616 Even worse, it's a rerun. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4617 Heaven upgraded to flat screens 20 years ago. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4618 Pain I can tolerate. But NOT without HD! 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4619 That's why it's so hot! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4620 I'm so excited for Naked and Afraid's final season. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4621 Could be worse, at least he's not making us watch political pundits debate on cable news. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4622 Timeshares are hell to get rid of. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4623 The season finale only seems like an eternity. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4624 You create a distraction, and I’ll change the channel. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4625 Its almost as stimulating as binge watching "Downton Abbey" 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4626 I wonder if they have "The Real Housewives"? 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4627 No, the flames aren’t so bad; rather it’s the intermittent reruns of “Gilligan’s Island.” 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4628 Millennials... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4629 With all the VIPs down here, you’d think they’d at least have cable. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4630 Except for UHF TV, it isn't nearly as bad down here as I thought it was going to be. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4631 No DVR? He IS evil. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4632 I'm sorry your disappointed. Because of climate change we can only have real fires on special occasions. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4633 After our orientation session would you like to join me for an espresso beverage that baristas find absolutely infuriating to make? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4634 First one to find the remote wins. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4635 If this is the trailer, I'd rather not stick around for the movie. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4636 This isn't even as bad as an airline. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4637 The worst part is it's not in HD. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4638 '' I heard that Desi Arnaz Sr is making a cameo appearance in this episode of I love Lucifer. " 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4639 At least channel 666 doesn’t have commercials. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4640 I see I'm not the only one who didn't pack a sweater. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4641 This isn't too bad, but I guess it is just orientation. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4642 As seen on tv, just burning. So, nothing new... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4643 Hell is no clicker. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4644 Heard we're going to be extras in the remake of The Naked and the Dead 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4645 I thought Devil's games were in New Jersey. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4646 It's the naked truth versus virtual reality. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4647 Standard def television—now that's torture. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4648 He let’s us watch the NHL when New Jersey’s playing. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4649 The limitations of this whole net neutrality repeal are quite hellish 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4650 Funny, that's the exact same view I had out my living room window in Leilani Estates, just before I arrived here... 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4651 That's all that's ever on... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4652 Okay, you’re right, this is hell. 16” television, rabbit ears — just like my in-laws’ den. 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4653 I can understand no satellite, but why not cable? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4654 They say the 7th circle is reality TV. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4655 Can’t wait to just Netflix and burn. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4656 This is just part of his welcome presentation for new members since the PowerPoint broke. He promised the presentation won’t take an eternity, but I’m not sure. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4657 Wait till you try it on the VR headset 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4658 I wasn’t expecting Netflix but come on, this can’t be the only channel in town 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4659 The worst part is that they’re all reruns. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4660 I meant no disrespect - that’s what we used to call a TV when I was a boy 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4661 Those X rated movies have lost their lustre 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4662 The torment and wailing stops when 'Game of Thrones' is on. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4663 Hawaii's a nice change of pace, don't you think? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4664 Don't you just hate these 6 second commercials before the video. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4665 I hope our new uniforms don't include a pair of shorts. I'm embarrrassed to show my legs. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4666 It's worse than I thought...they don't have cable! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4667 I hear they've got a mounted flat screen over in Flatterers and Seducers. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4668 Say it with me: "we can't afford a timeshare, we just want the free trip." 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4669 “It appears there have been some cutbacks”. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4670 Hell is an eternity spent watching the Yule Log on SDTV. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4671 I can't believe that for all it cost us to get here they don't have flat screen tv. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4672 It's so heavenly here. No commercials. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4673 It's getting so crowded down here that Lucifer had to cut costs and cable was the first thing to go. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4674 Sure they have plasma screens up there, but I'm here for some good old-fashioned sin. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4675 We've had some budget cuts lately, but this should get the point across. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4676 At least this is better than reality TV. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4677 Well...we won’t ever be cold again 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4678 I heard they needed all the lava for Kilauea 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4679 My Father always said, “People in Hell want ice water.” I’d prefer HD television & a cold beer. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4680 I heard that he's installing cable any day now. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4681 Do you think this is the episode where they reveal we're really in the Good Place? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4682 Oh man, another rerun. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4683 Netflix hell. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4684 At least they have plasma TV. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4685 With rabbit ears all we pick up is the local Sinclair Broadcast station. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4686 This may not be so bad after all-we get to see a preview of coming attractions! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4687 There's not a chance in Hell I'm watching this! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4688 This is what burns my ass. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4689 Want to go get a drink? I've seen this show a thousand times, and it never gets any better.... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4690 I guess no one here has any tin foil we could put on the rabbit ears to improve the reception 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4691 I am tired of all the nudity on cable!! 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4692 And I thought watching that burning Yule Log on Channel 11 was hell. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4693 I swear to god...if they tell us to buckle up... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4694 The summer reruns truly are intolerable. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4695 What the hell is this place? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4696 This is going to be a hell of an orgy once the TV set shuts off. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4697 Amazon Fire TV. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4698 These reruns are hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4699 There's talk of a barbecue following orientation. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4700 Whelp, looks like we forgot to pay the Comcast bill again. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4701 Who knew there’d be a trailer. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4702 Is it just me, or we in hell? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4703 I hear we are the lucky ones. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4704 I think Downton Abbey is on channel 666. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4705 Netflix and roast? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4706 These budget cuts are hell. 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4707 Great, the Fire Channel. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4708 I guess it’s dramatic, but at these prices I was expecting it to be live. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4709 Friction matters. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4710 Had I known that hell had no cable, I never would have robbed that bank! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4711 Every circle has its broadcast, wrathful souls have Fox news on 24/7 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4712 ‘Redecorating Hell’ is the best show on this network; I wonder which tile they used for the new torment pit. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4713 Damn it, you change the channel this time. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4714 Hell has gone to hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4715 That's right, only reruns of State TV. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4716 Yes, I can think of worse things than never using your turn signals. But more annoying? No. Welcome to hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4717 Reruns. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4718 I'm getting chilly. Can you turn the volume up? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4719 At least it's not Fox News. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4720 Yes those are Christmas carols- he got the idea from WPIX. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4721 Me? Micro management? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4722 Being forced to watch this for eternity in black and white, with no flat screen or HD, is truly hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4723 Adorno never warned of the farts. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4724 Hell hath no fury like a Kardashian scorned. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4725 No hand-held, no cable, rabbit ears...this IS hell! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4726 Cant believe the Kardashians ruined everything down here too 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4727 If you think this show's bad, wait til you see how long the commercial breaks are. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4728 After the presentation, there's a drawing for a lifetime membership. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4729 I don't know what we're expecting each week with this weather report 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4730 This is my favorite show. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4731 Yes, it's reality shows, 24/7. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4732 Now that it's frozen over, this has to be your experience. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4733 Caliente... The only channel we can get down here. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4734 Yeah, we're naked and really afraid. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4735 I coveted my neighbour’s furnace. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4736 This is hell, no flat screen tv. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4737 It all started with that yule log channel. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4738 Don't tell anyone I was an arsonist. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4739 He's not quite up to speed with technology. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4740 Rumor has it that Moonves sold his soul for Nielson ratings. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4741 Reality TV in Hell 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4742 This isn't much of a recreation break. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4743 dear caption judge(s) how are u today? i am well thank u for considering my caption today. today i went to wal mart, ate ravioli, bought reduced fat triscuit crackers, and played a video game. i hope ur day was as fun as mine today! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4744 Lucky us! I hear all the real stuff is being channeled to a volcano in Hawaii. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4745 Welcome to Hell, no HD 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4746 Hell? Yes! But no heat! 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4747 I'm sick of this surreality TV show. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4748 I heard that if we have good behavior, he’d let one of us change the channel. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4749 Hell of a way to save on heating. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4750 Somehow I doubt there’s a ‘free gift’ at the end of this one. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4751 I know that we are definitely in hell- no cable! 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4752 The millenials watch this on their phones. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4753 The worst part is there is nothing but infomercial on! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4754 Hi, I'm Sam Harris. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4755 It's a win-win from B-bub. We get better television than 'A&E' or 'Lifetime' AND he's saving a fortune on real brimstone. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4756 This is where " House of Cards" ended up............... 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4757 'Project Runway' sure is different down here. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4758 I was the cartoon editor for The New Yorker. Get it? 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4759 I was hoping it would actually be hot enough for me. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4760 Betcha don't regret missing out on the 'genuine experience' now! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4761 The "lifestyle" has gone to hell since Satan joined. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4762 He is getting heating credits- thankfully he doesn't think climate change is evil. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4763 Well, it's not what it was cracked up to be. Can you think of anything we can do now? 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4764 I didn't know we got C-SPAN down here. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4765 Damn - he makes it sound so tempting! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4766 I always wanted to go to a nudist colony 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4767 Home movies again??!? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4768 What were you expecting? Virtual reality? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4769 It’s the resolution that crushes your soul. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
4770 Have you seen the remote? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4771 I thought the TV would be high definition down here. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4772 Figures they'd have 24 hour news coverage in hell. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4773 Just an average meeting at your local cable company... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4774 Now that the virtual tour is over,let's get down to business. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
4775 You know it would be a lot more "fair and balanced" if there was as must brimstone as there was fire. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4776 It must be their televised orientation program. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4777 Due to budget cuts, Hellfire is now brought to you by Low-Definition TV. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4778 This is hell for everyone who accidentally signed up for Amazon Prime. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4779 He explained before you got here that virtual fire is cheaper, eliminates carbon dioxide, and better for the Naked Mole Rats. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4780 First he makes us take our clothes off. Then he makes us watch fire on an old 4 by 3 tube TV. That's one kinky devil! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4781 It’s hot as hell in here 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4782 Turns out he didn't have enough wood for the eternal fires 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4783 Misplaced punctuation matters. "Discount Sauna, as advertised on TV” should have been "Discount Sauna as advertised, on TV.” 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4784 I've seen this episode already. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4785 Turns out hell is produced by Michael Bay. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4786 That’s right, your living hell is more commercials than the Olympics! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4787 I know we're saving the climate by not burning fossil fuels. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out for whom! 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4788 I'd wager the medium really isn't the message. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4789 I watched this episode. It's a hell of a story. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4790 The commercial break lasts an eternity. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4791 It makes a change from Seinfeld reruns. 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4792 i guess we should have listened when they said there was a special hell for those who pirated cable. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4793 It’s not so bad since they got rid of Bob Costas. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4794 Yes, actually, the cold is indeed limited to my crotch area! 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4795 I don’t believe that is fake news. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4796 The overflow room really isn't so bad. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4797 Hellish reception. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
4798 This is what I get for sharing my friends Netflix account. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
4799 I always look forward to the commercial breaks. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4800 It’s not what you think; it’s like watching the fireplace on Christmas Eve. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4801 According to the Weather report, we won't need a coat tomorrow 1.2000 0.07051 60 52 4 4
4802 It looked better in the brochure. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4803 Thursday is Amazon Fire TV night. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4804 I'm Tom, the new guy. Believe it or not I actually wrote Bonfire of the VaniTV's 1.1967 0.06942 61 53 4 4
4805 It's our way to fight global warming. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4806 I never thought of this as a benefit of fracking. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4807 He's got to know virtual hell just don't cut it. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4808 His home movies are getting a little old. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4809 It greatly reduces carbon emissions - he hopes to be able to stream it in a millennia or two. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4810 For me, 30 years down and forever to go. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4811 I think it's the warm-up for the main event. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4812 Is there going to be a test, on any of this, Lucifer? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4813 Don't worry, it's just propaganda 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4814 You'd think they'd have cable here. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4815 Who farted? 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4816 They’ve got 24-hour news down here, too. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4817 Netflix and Grill? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4818 It's good to know they're doing something about global warming. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4819 Devilish, making us watch travelogues. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4820 What's Streaming? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4821 No channel surfing here. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4822 Wow. It's like an Amish fireplace and a nudist colony. It was better at the movies. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4823 I love reality television. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4824 I kinda knew this was coming. I was sure he'd make us watch reruns of 'The Apprentice' for eternity. But do we have to be naked? 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4825 The fire and Brimstone was bad enough but now we have to watch Fox TV”. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4826 I think this TEDx talk has gone too far. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4827 We should have upgraded to Pergatory. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4828 This is worse than I thought; no color, no HD 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4829 "Survivor" is an option for the first ten contestants. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4830 Yes, the acting here is better, but I still say the ‘Yule Log’ writing was more lively and crisp. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4831 These Hawaii life feeds sure make me appreciate Hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4832 Is this what the kids meant by Netflix and chill? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4833 Rabbit ears? No cable? That's not a good start. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4834 I bet he wishes he had a 50 inch flat screen. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4835 I’m cold. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4836 I can’t wait to see the Yule Log on Christmas. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4837 I think he thinks it's real. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4838 I guess in Hell we don’t have to give up all our earthly habits. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4839 Is this the line for U2 tickets? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4840 Can we change the channel. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4841 Usually it’s a safety video. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4842 Welcome to the Nielsen family. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4843 You think they have a VCR where you push play and record at the same time too? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4844 Electric bill's up a tad but saves a ton on natural gas. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4845 This is just the warm-up. Wait till we get to rehearsal. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4846 Can we change the channel to something more enlightening? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4847 I like what I see. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4848 Who knew that global warming started in 1962. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4849 If you binge this show, they'll make you purge. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4850 Sinclair Broadcasting just renewed this show for eternity. The flames are brought to us by the burning souls of Sebastian Gorka, Sean Hannity and that ex-President with the funny hair. Listen carefully, they’re screaming ‘What about Hillary?’ 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4851 Rosemary's Baby " again !!! "This must be hell ! 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4852 You know, telecommuting just didn’t revolutionize the afterlife the way they said it would. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4853 It’s because of budget cuts, but I’m okay with it. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4854 The worst part is, it's not even HDTV. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4855 We get the hand-me-downs. I hear we're getting a Samsung soon. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4856 Is this orientation really necessary? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4857 Just turn it off! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4858 I think we should stick with the Fire Channel. He says there is no cable down here and the only other choice is the Brimstone Channel. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4859 So hell looks a lot like 1960's television. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4860 Okay, but I was really looking forward to seeing Brimstone. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4861 Heatonism 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4862 If you think this is good we should check out the live taping downstairs. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4863 Any chance we can change channels? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4864 I love the previews 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4865 Now if the emperor has really real clothes, I'm going to be annoyed beyond words. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4866 This is that old satan satellite. I paid extra for HBO heaven in my room. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4867 Does the party start after the safety film?! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4868 Sweet deal: limitless term, full membership and they say the hot yoga is really, really hot. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4869 It’s an endless loop of “American Idol” 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4870 I hear it's the Devil's favorite show. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4871 No one mentioned anything about no cable. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4872 Their carbon profile will go even lower after they get the flat screen installed. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4873 Can't blame him -- the heating bills were ungodly. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4874 Your new treat is technicolor 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4875 So, this is Hell..no Wi-Fi 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4876 so this is what hell looks like 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4877 It was much less hellish before his cord-cutting experiment. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4878 I could learn a thing or two from you humans. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4879 The fire is always redder on the other side. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4880 I wish you hadn’t forced me into the cult. I knew they wouldn’t have streaming movies in the end. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4881 It's a new reality survival program called Naked and Afraid ... and Scorched. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4882 It's the only channel. This really is hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4883 The hi-def is nice, but it's the only channel we get. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4884 Apparently we weren't the only ones who didn't get pre-registered. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4885 Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode of 'The Emperor's New Clothes in Hell.' 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4886 It's been a rough quarter. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4887 I wonder what the punishment is in heaven? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4888 Notice how fast the temperature’s been dropping in here since conservative media admitted that Global Warming is real? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4889 Can you believe we get signal down here? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4890 They broadcast this show all over Hell and half of Georgia. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4891 Another Christmas Eve in Hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4892 I used to do this every night after work. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4893 At least these folks are trying to do something about global warming. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4894 You'd think he could afford an HD flatscreen at least. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4895 Wow, fuel costs must be hellish. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4896 I think he may have bought into Netflix’s claim that it would be better than the real thing, but this isn’t very convincing 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4897 The reception in heaven is much better. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4898 "The Apprentice" will never end. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4899 No wifi? This is going to be hell. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4900 Is this orientation or a Hawaiian clothing optional resort 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4901 There's got to be something better on another channel! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4902 Netflix and burn. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4903 They could at least throw in some editing. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4904 You would think they would have cable. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4905 The devil's in the details. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4906 Hell hath no fury like over-the-air TV. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4907 I've been to hotter saunas than this 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4908 It's new - he calls it Netflix and fry. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4909 Well, I guess this really is hell. The entertainment promises to be insufferably monotonous. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4910 I thought we chose hedonism 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4911 You too can have this life for $9.99 per month! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4912 Is anybody else’s butt hairs getting singed? 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4913 I always said it'd be a cold day in Hell before I watch the Yule Log Channel. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4914 I can’t believe he’s making us watch this Yule log video again. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4915 And I hear the succubi took a better offer from Washington. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4916 Now he tells us! 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4917 I don't think I can bare this much longer. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4918 We're condemned to no flat screen and no HD. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4919 It's called the Human Nature channel. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4920 Netflix is thinking of optioning it. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4921 For some unknown reason strip poker doesn’t excite me anymore. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4922 Man, I never knew there would be more fire on Earth than in hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4923 And I thought nothing was more hellish than basic cable. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4924 Not even a flat screen? Bummer! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4925 I wish they'd throw in a few commercials 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4926 Hell is other people’s home videos. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4927 'Soul Train?' We don't even get 'Seinfeld!' 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4928 If I had known we wouldn’t have high definition, I wouldn’t have been so sinful at the colony 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4929 Was it that acid rain again? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4930 There’s only one channel. That’s punishment enough. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4931 Worst Yule Log video ever! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4932 Anyway the dead can't feel the flames so why bother? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4933 Looks like we're in for a hot spell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4934 An antenna!?! I was sure they ran cable from down here! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4935 This month's campaign to reduce our carbon footprint. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4936 When they cancel this show, I’m going to Heaven. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4937 This is the naked truth, all right. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4938 On Friday he screens old film school shorts. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4939 I liked the first episode better. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4940 If I had known this, I would have brought a sweater. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4941 A result of global warming, my dear. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4942 It's colder than it looks. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4943 So this is the man behind the curtain? I think we have a chance! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4944 Do you think we'll need any sunscreen? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4945 This really is hell, no 60” flat screen TV. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4946 I never thought I'd be thankful for higher fuel prices. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4947 Preview introduction pretty basic, eh? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4948 There are no flatscreens in hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4949 After one hundred years of this I almost miss 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. Almost. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4950 I knew the repeal of new neutrality was the first step to hell! 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4951 If we leave the presentation early do we still get the snorkeling tour? 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4952 At least we won't be cold 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4953 The new mining regulations mean there's very little fuel left for Hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4954 What the ..? 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4955 This better be one hell of a show. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4956 Orientation became mandatory after the previous residents sued God because Hell was hotter than they expected. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4957 The Apocalypse will be televised! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4958 Not having cable is hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4959 Here's hoping St. Peter has a sense of humor. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4960 I miss the old reality TV when we thought it wasn't real. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4961 That’s not FOX News. We must be in heaven. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4962 The place is spiritual, nudists and warm all the time. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4963 Just when it gets interesting they change it to sports 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4964 I always wondered if I'd run into an old flame 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4965 Sure it makes me nostalgic, just not in a good way... 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4966 Welcome to Hell; 500 channels and their all the "Yule Log". 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4967 This is the commercial break - the actual programming is infomercials. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4968 This is the worst teaser I've seen. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4969 I heard he saves the training video for sweeps week. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4970 He is really into slow tv these days 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4971 This was the only channel he ever watched, so he said the hell with cable. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4972 It's the movie trailer about the rest of your eternity. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4973 Remember when I used to say nothing was worse than these emergency weather interruptions.... 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4974 It could also just be a commercial for a hibachi grill. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4975 Hades TV is bigger than Netflix. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4976 This program makes me hot. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4977 No spoilers! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4978 Nice and warm ! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4979 Kardashians! 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4980 I see Flipper. What do you see? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4981 I am more shocked that Satan doesn't have a flatscreen. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4982 Well,at least it isn't The Big Bang Theory 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
4983 A Weinstein trailer on rabbit ears -- man, are we screwed. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4984 With rabbit ears you only get one local station 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4985 I really thought Deal With the Devil was just a reality TV show. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4986 You'd think he'd at least let us watch Fox News." 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4987 Now I know how he can afford to entice all these people here... He hasn't touched the place since 1983. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4988 I hear some are calling this: Netflix and grill. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4989 I hear the cable bill was just getting too goddamned hellacious. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4990 Two hundred thirteen channels, and this is the best one. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4991 The Cool Medium my ass. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4992 Just a few short years ago it was nothing but filmstrips! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4993 Hopefully I can catch the game tonight. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4994 Welcome to Reality Hell: The Series. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4995 This may seem weird and beside the point, but I kinda get a kick knowing my home theater is better than Lucifer's. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4996 It's not him telling you where to stuff this. It's me. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4997 The brochure promised flames in hi-def. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4998 Safe to say we misread the horny line in the advertisement. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4999 It'll probably be better in high def. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5000 I bet they have HD in heaven. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5001 I binged this series last week. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5002 After this scary video, we're more likely to buy the tanning spray. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
5003 It's a VHS - no streaming down here. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5004 I heard heaven has flat screens. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5005 Our ultimate destination being what it is, we should be thankful that it's not reruns of Dancing with the Stars. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5006 Man: So even in hell, Satan has to turn the dial and adjust antennas for basic cable hell feed? Woman: At least it’s not Fox News. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5007 It's not as messy, and we save on fuel. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5008 The worst? These are my reading glasses. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5009 I bet they don't get all these repeats in the other place. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5010 Oh, boy. An eternity of re-runs. This really is hell. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5011 We're going to spend eternity craving authentic experiences. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5012 Now I get what those underfunded schoolteachers were mad about. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5013 If it's auditioning for this reality show or an eternity of Trump's tweets, let's do this one. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5014 Rabbit Ears! This really is Hell 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5015 This is so much better without all the ads. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5016 Cost-cutting maneuver. Next level, we all get sweaters. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5017 They won't change channels in doctor's offices either. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5018 I kinda don't mind reruns of The Apprentice. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5019 Rabbit ears is one thing, but only getting the Yule Log program for eternity is a real bummer. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5020 Like I said. Other people. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5021 I swear these Fox prime time audition lines get longer every season. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5022 He's a devil of a showoff AND we saw this episode last week. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5023 I love how they’ve combined retro technology with a state-of-the-art trailer. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5024 I was a producer for the Kardashians, so I've kind of seen this one before. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5025 It's not the heat or the frustration........it's the no cable. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5026 I can't believe you had to leave the implants behind. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5027 He’s trying to make hell more appealing by making it a Netflix series. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5028 It’s the new Flame-grilled Buttery Jack Burger. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5029 As visions of hell go this ain't so bad. Fire and brimstone on TV and everyone's naked. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5030 It’s Season 4, Episode 7, but it feels like a retell of Season 1 with a new cast and more social critique and brimstone. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5031 The low-quality picture is insufferable. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5032 Is it hot in here, or is it just you? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5033 At least we know who was behind Betamax. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5034 It must be "Breaking News". 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5035 I mainly watch it for the commercials. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5036 "Hi, we are here for the "Fire and Fury" we keep hearing about on Fox". 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5037 I'm feeling a draft. Do you think they can turn up the volume? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5038 Next we are going to make you listen to Nickelback 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5039 The programming has improved. We used to have only reruns of the Golden Girls. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5040 That's what passes for unscripted reality television down here. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
5041 Where's the heat? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5042 I guess the punishment is an eternity of black-and-white TV with one channel and bad reception. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5043 It gets worse - just wait till they turn on the smell-o-vision 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5044 These infomercials are really hell. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5045 With budget cuts looming, Satan decided to get creative. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5046 They were right. Endless reruns of "Gilligan's Island" IS pure hell. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5047 Not having HD -- now that's real hell! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5048 Is this all going to be reality TV? 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5049 I hope this ends better than the last time share group. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5050 Amazing what gets a PG rating these days. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5051 Nothing gut Geico commercials 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5052 The reception is awful, but they said Comcast is too evil 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5053 Without real flames, the vibe is much more “purgatory” than “everlasting damnation.” 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5054 I hope they add a Yule log for Christmas. 1.1930 0.07271 57 50 3 4
5055 I never thought I’d miss the Yule Log channel. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5056 Yeah, its my second day of orientation. The trick is to really play it up. If he thinks you're not into it he'll bring you up front and make an example of you. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5057 “This is not as hot as I thought it would be”. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5058 The real torture is the cliffhanger ending. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5059 Don't you sometimes wonder what genius decides what's shown on TV? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5060 Global warming is costing him so much that the Devil had to slash his fuel bill here. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5061 At this point, I only really trust Flame News to tell it like it is. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5062 I wondered what they did with the old glass tube TVs. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5063 Now that's a warm reception. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5064 Talk about primal—they still use a tube T.V. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5065 Cheaper than gas. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5066 Where's my remote, Linda? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5067 After the war with everyone, the Trump cabinet members, who did not make it out alive, watch the introductory "guide" to their new home. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5068 I get the cutbacks on heating costs but come on - at least spring for a flat screen. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5069 When did they start sending virgins here? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5070 I hear in Heaven their 24/7 fire burning show has a Yule Log. Fancy. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5071 Don't worry, at 6 he plays reruns of Friends 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5072 We've been stuck with the local channels ever since they cut the cord. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5073 In heaven they're watching Britcoms. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5074 Let's just change the channel. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5075 Yeah, no liquids allowed — not even jokes about water. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5076 I'm glad I waited. This year's schlong-soul trade has even more enhancements and size. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5077 I suffer just remembering my 65 inch high-res OLED smart TV. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5078 Yet another reality show, 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5079 This is the "cooling off" period. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5080 Merry Christmas! 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5081 They call it Reality TV, but in this case the joke is on them. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5082 It's a CRT. That's hell for ya. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5083 They went with the YouTube yule log after deciding the fires of hell were no longer sufficient punishment. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5084 Spare the air days really put a damper on the fire and brimstone. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5085 Not watching flat screen is worse than hell. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5086 The only other channel is Milton Berle 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
5087 Great thing about Hell. Yule Log 24/7. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5088 Sorry. We ran out of room in main furnace. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
5089 This season of Satan's Island is the hottest yet." "Yeah. It's interactive 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
5090 Are we the hosts or the guests? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5091 It's due to climate change. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
5092 I really, really wish they'd skip the preview, Isn't hell bad enough without advance notice? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5093 Is this your first time here at Sandal's Fantasy Island for Nudists? I love the Retro, Bare-bones Underworld theme! Am I late for the Hot Yoga video? 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5094 Apparently, it's called "Reality TV" and we're supposed to enjoy it for some reason. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5095 Tell him you love it even more than his installation with vintage radios. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
5096 No carbon emissions... 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5097 I actually kind of like the Yule Log channel. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5098 I'm confused; what did he mean it was time to watch "The Price is Right." 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5099 Looks like the revolution will be televised afterall! 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5100 I don't know - I expected more 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5101 Amazing this new DVR technology-looks like we really are in Hell. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5102 I feel he's given us a very chilly reception. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5103 What happens when a commercial comes on? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5104 You know, maybe the whole pivot-to-video isn't so bad. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5105 VR is way more scary. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5106 Time for the disorientation video. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5107 I really hate the CGI. It's so unrealistic. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5108 Why are we doing this again? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5109 At least we had 4K at Burning Man. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5110 What's harder: the crowd or the life they're living? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5111 I guess thou shalt not splurge on the HD package 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5112 Yet another sequel. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5113 Yes, watching TV commercials really is Hell. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5114 Even in times like these, the Yule log never gets old 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5115 I guess the reception isn't very good down here. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5116 The fire channel gets the best reception. Weeping and nashing not so good. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5117 I thought hell would include cable. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5118 I think it would be more immersive on the big screen. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5119 Well, at least they're not showing us non-stop Public Television pledge breaks, so it could be worse. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5120 He is trying to fix the aerial. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5121 This is the 7:06 showing of The Devil Wears Nothing At All. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5122 I ignore safety videos. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5123 That's a vintage Model Y1908W and for the rest of eternity I will tell you about every tube, resistor and capacitor in it. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5124 The real hell is having to watch this in standard definition. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5125 That thing doesn't even come with a remote control. No wonder they call this "Hell." 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5126 This would look so much better in 4K HD. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5127 This is great! They used to just have sock puppets. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5128 Who'd have thought that hell would be naked people preferring flames on a television, to sex? 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
5129 At least it’s on TV. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5130 Kinda reminds me of Christmas. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5131 I heard that the utility bill down here got really out of hand. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5132 Give this show a chance- it's a slow burn. 1.1897 0.07153 58 51 3 4
5133 I don't care how often they broadcast it, I'm not signing up for cable! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5134 How do you like orientation so far? 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
5135 Repeat. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
5136 Everything's CGI these days. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5137 In Heaven the swingers party's don't even have digital fireplaces. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5138 For REAL fire and brimstone, you need more than rabbit ears! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5139 If it's all TV all the time it can't be that bad! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5140 Season 1 was a lot more plot-foward. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
5141 We've all pitched better ideas, but down here they refuse to separate the art from the artist. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5142 The gas bill was getting too high. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5143 This is what a we get for not voting - but it looks like those who did vote for our new POTUS fared even worse - bigly! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
5144 On the plus side, the occasional snow is actually a relief. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5145 Hi! Welcome to the 24/7 reruns of “Bewitched”, “Mr. Ed”, and “My Favorite Martian”. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5146 Well at least the reception is really good... 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
5147 No smart TV! Hell is going to be much worse than I ever imagined. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5148 I hear in Purgatory they make you watch CNN. In the seventh circle they make you watch CNN. 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
5149 Sure, the show's pretty good, but the ending stinks. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5150 Well, at least we got second row. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
5151 After a lifetime of high def cable TV, watching this truly is Hell. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5152 I can't believe he doesn't have cable. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5153 Painfully boring - much more effective then real fire. Don't you agree? 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
5154 "We should have chosen the deep blue sea". 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
5155 One advantage with State TV is that you can't tell where the show stops and the commercials begin. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
5156 Why do you always drag me below 14th street? 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
5157 Budget cuts I think. Gas prices are too high. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
5158 I'm so glad I told all those people to go to hell. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
5159 Cheer up...the next level of Hell has to watch a burning Yule log. 1.1818 0.07381 55 49 2 4
5160 I'm taking door number one, how about you? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5161 I thin we're safe if the rest of the world is coming to an end. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5162 Bunny ears? I figured there'd only be Verizon down here. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5163 Beezelbub says the silver package is for 1 week in Hell and another week at one of their sixty partner destinations. We can afford it, AND the benefits are fully transferable. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5164 If I knew I'd be doomed to watching music videos for eternity I would have behaved better. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5165 He said Saturday Night barbecue is still casual 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5166 You have thirty seconds to pick a leaf. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5167 No, you can't change the channel, this is Hell. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5168 This is worse than I thought, no cable. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5169 and here is where we do the daily session of infernal yoga... 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5170 This is a preview of the coming "Fire and brimstone 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5171 I'm sure it's just all 'fake news,' fabricated by the last administration for political purposes. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5172 It’s the only channel... 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5173 I know the devil's pleased, but this 'Fire and Fury' show looks pretty bad. I suspect the ratings will be pretty low by 2020. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5174 Who knew Hell would be nothing more than watching a corporate orientation video on an endless loop? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5175 "Roseanne" reruns, 24/7. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5176 I guess nobody told the saitainists that Tuesdays at six was for the nudest colony meetup. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5177 It's too late for us to be watching "Survivor". 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5178 'This is taking reality TV to far!' 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5179 So much for reality television! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5180 It's the local access channel. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5181 We're waiting to see who gets fired_LARGEST AUDENCE EVER! 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5182 I knew I was right, Hell is watching reruns on low-def tv. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5183 Be glad it isn't virtual reality 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5184 This virtual reality orgy isn't like what I imagined. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5185 The reception is terrible down here, and there's only two channels--"Lava Lamp" and FOX News. It's hell! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5186 You'd think the tech would be upgraded in The Piracy and Adultery Wing. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5187 We're reducing carbon emissions this week! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5188 Another rerun of The Real Housewives of Hell? 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5189 And you get 24-hour brimstone tv. It’s free if you take the package with political ads 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5190 Now our dress code just feels awkward. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5191 Beats FOX news. I hear that’s all they show on level nine 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5192 Who needs three rabbit ears? The minimalist two-eared devil comes complete with built-in inferno flames. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5193 We're going tech down here. . .next eon we're getting high def and laptops. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5194 It’s ‘THE LUCIFER LUNCH HOUR’ featuring how to dessert Baked Alaska. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5195 “Netflix and Chill” has an entirely different meaning down here. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5196 "Oh . . . you're new here. It's the dystopian film of Bradbury's 451 Fahrenheit. We're forced to watch it standing buck naked for eternity. It's sheer Hell! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5197 I hear they’ve been making some budget cuts. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5198 No Wi-Fi? HBO? Only analog broadcast TV? This place is as awful as they say. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5199 Soon you will begin to feel the effects of the refrigeration system, and a loop of carols will begin to play on this speaker. Merry Christmas, for all eternity! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5200 I heard that whole flame and agony thing in the Hades video is fake news. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5201 I've heard they are trying to cut down on their carbon footprint. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5202 As a matter of fact, I don't mind at all the latest cuts. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5203 It’s worse than I thought....this gets only the Fox channel all day long 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5204 The only network show he allows is Lucifer! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5205 I really don’t mind the heat. But the picture quality on that old bunny-eared TV is what truly makes it feel like Hell. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5206 That cartoon is from the 1950's, when TVs were small boxes without color. Nowadays, the fire would be broadcast via the internet to google glasses. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5207 The Fireplace Channel is the only channel, but at least it's commercial free. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5208 Hell's so yesterday. I thought they'd at least have a flat-screen TV! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5209 Due to budget cuts, this looped program is all you get until global warming is complete. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5210 I hear that next year they're getting hi-def. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5211 It's a continuous loop of 2016 Presidential campaign ads -- pure hell! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5212 It goes on way too long. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5213 Little do they know that I love being nude. This is my heaven! 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5214 After "Handmaid's Tale" fire and brimstone is just another boring hellscape. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5215 Luke's work has become more conceptual since he got back from that nudist colony on Mars. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5216 And I thought the Shopping Channel was hellish. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5217 I would have been good had I known that Hell only had black and white TV. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5218 Warming? That's fake news. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5219 Time to meet your maker. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5220 Every one knows he only uses Twitter. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5221 Actually, it's awful. Now that we've seen two episodes, that guy is going to tell us a whole bunch of spoilers. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5222 The commercials are the real torture. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5223 It's a Rorschach test pattern. Try to see dripping water instead of sulphurous flames. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5224 It's a lot cooler than the real Fires of Hell. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5225 Awesome! I didn't think I'd enjoy anything here. This reminds me of home. It's state run tv with a single message.. and it's analog! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5226 He is saying, "you will be permitted one selfie before proceeding to your final destination". 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5227 I guess its "Spare the Air" day 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5228 It's like torture, watching these old CRT televisions. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5229 If figures, orientation to hell is 3 hours of experimental films compiled by first year NYU film students! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5230 And I thought Hell was supposed to be interesting. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5231 This season is really starting to heat up. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5232 More like Hell-evision, am I right? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5233 Oh my God! Hell is having NO CABLE! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5234 All of this reminds me of the last time I had ribs. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5235 Maybe it's going to be virtual 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5236 I heard they’re calling it Hell-Def TV. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5237 God has a rule ... Hell can't receive TV shows or movies until twenty-plus years after their release. 'Big D' just announced tonight's new shows are "The Naked City" and "The Naked and the Dead". 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5238 It's just so hard to keep up every week 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5239 Is it warm in here, or is it just me? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5240 Will I be able to follow this? I'm a full season behind. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5241 Lucky for us Hell has adapted to virtual reality. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5242 Always so obvious when it is fake news, don’t you agree? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5243 The weatherman was serious when he said it would be a hot summer. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5244 Is "Judge Judy" on yet? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5245 I’m cold. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5246 Oh, Jeez!! That's my Mom & Dad's old TV!! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5247 President Trump Show is on again! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5248 Watch it if you want, Dear. I just find the shows this season to be too predictable. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5249 Watching the news should help numb the suffering. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5250 There are times when you want a real one. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5251 I think this is just a promotional announcement to let us know what hell is like. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5252 It's the only channel you can get here. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5253 I'm glad for my life of sin if the only difference is this versus a fancy flat screen. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5254 But it's a dry heat. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5255 They made us all write in to keep it from being cancelled. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5256 The only reason I cane was to avoid the continuous Christmas Yule Log shoe . . .and now this. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5257 I hear they brought in a consultant. His side of the pact was to minimize energy costs while maximizing everlasting torment. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5258 I knew it - never anything cool on TV... 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5259 Even Lucifer has his own network. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5260 Your smuggled phone, my Netflix password. Sounds like heaven. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5261 Yeah there is only one TV station here, but the fact that Satan forgot we all were nudists before we came here anyway, is really terrific! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5262 Yes, we are really in hell. No cable. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5263 Shit, this really as good as it gets 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5264 It really is hell down here. We were all big television watchers. Satan won't allow cable, just rabbit ears. We can't watch any of the cool new shows. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5265 Do you think he will let us watch The Real Housewives next? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5266 He’s one of those directors who demands a lot from his audience. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5267 They've got an HD flat screen upstairs. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5268 It's pointless and never ends. It's like Gilligan's Island from hell. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5269 These budget cuts might not turn out so bad after all. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5270 Did you remember to bring the fire extinguisher ? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5271 With this turnout, shouldn't we expect cable TV? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5272 Come here often ? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5273 This is just the orientation session to acclimate us to the coming heat. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5274 Welcome to hell, this is your icebreaker. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5275 I'm beginning to regret the Mexican that we had last night. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5276 The reception down here is just terrible. But it's to be expected. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5277 Spoiler Alert, this is a rerun of Yule Log 1964. 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5278 Expect a heavy dose of cooking shows. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5279 At least they kept the brimstone. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5280 This is the worst thing about Hell. No cable and only local reception. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5281 If they save enough on heat bills they’re going to upgrade to 4K. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5282 Hell for technophiles. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5283 Same time tomorrow for our dress rehearsal. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5284 I really wish he'd pick a channel without politics. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5285 Hell is other people 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5286 The first rule of hell: disregard all modesty. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5287 This really is hell. One station only on a T.V. from the '60's. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5288 It's not as hot here, now that they have downsized their operation 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5289 We’re gonna wait forever for this conclusion. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5290 I love these virtual-reality shows. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5291 Don't worry, this part is just a formality. The orgy is coming right after this. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5292 Looks familiar ... I think it's a rerun. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5293 I know it's not what you were expecting, but the Park Service says absolutely no open flames during the drought. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5294 What in Hell is this? The welcome reception? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5295 Shush! No spoilers! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5296 You expected cable in Hell? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5297 Thanks, Satan! First global warming, now this? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5298 We're in Hell. That's Limbo. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5299 I know it's a rerun again, but eternal fire is just not as bad as I imagined. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5300 We report, you decide!!! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5301 It could be worse. He might have put on Roseanne... 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5302 They changed the TV picture from analog to high damnation. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5303 OSHA has a lot of sway down here. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5304 As if we weren't suffering enough, they've replaced HBO with Starz. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5305 I knew this would be tough-no, clothes, no HD, on and on. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5306 It only gets Fox News. We all blame Obama. I'm Andy. You're for me. Welcome to hell. 1.1818 0.07381 55 49 2 4
5307 This is definitely the hottest show of the new season! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5308 He's getting amazing reception with those rabbit ears. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5309 Reality TV was more hellish up there. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5310 Boy, these videos are hot. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5311 I always felt the live shows always had a little extra sizzle to them, personally. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5312 So glad I don't live in California. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5313 In spite of all the hype, I think this season’s Hell will be more of the same. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5314 I love the Coming Attractions 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5315 Having to watch previews on CRTs are Hell... 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5316 You may be in hell, but I'm in heaven. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5317 I like to keep up with current events. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5318 I can see you're cold, too. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5319 I don't understand why he still pays for cable, streaming is the future 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5320 Because it's only one channel. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5321 See? I told you global warming wasn't a real thing. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5322 Think this is bad, the Lake of Fire swim meet starts after this program. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5323 Ugh. No cable. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5324 These never-ending tutorials are a real pain! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5325 Damned budget cuts. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5326 If you think this new programming line-up is bad, wait until you see the commercials. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5327 No flat screen TVs. This really is hell. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5328 How do you like this must see tv? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5329 No, that's a stalactite. Stalagmites build from the ground up. 1.1818 0.07381 55 49 2 4
5330 More lies from the FAKE NEWS media! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5331 What the hell, there is no lustful episode in the MeToo version of "Game of Thrones". 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5332 Hell now only exists as a sit-com. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5333 So hell is where there is no place to hide the dialer ? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5334 Are you tired of watching reruns of "Paradise Lost" too? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5335 Well according to the big guy upstairs, all the electrical engineers since the 70s just happened to have good souls 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5336 Amazing how well a rabbit ear TV can capture a stare-quality flame. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5337 A preview of hell, just for you. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5338 So this is what it means to rot in hell! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5339 This new show is really hot. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5340 How long is this commercial? 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5341 It's the Kardashian Cooking Network. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5342 I miss my big flat screen already. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5343 Call me an optimist, but the reception is surprisingly good and I still say eternal fire beats when it was commercials from the last half of SNL. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5344 This is just orientation. We don't get to eternal fire and brimstone until after Q&A. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5345 Cooler with showers today. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5346 What other information do we really need? 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5347 On the other hand, there are far fewer leaks. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5348 If only we had a dvr, we could skip these interminable commercials. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5349 I’d rather find a place on HGTV. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5350 This show has gone up in flames since season 2016. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5351 Well it's better than having to watch 'The Gong Show' reruns through eternity. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5352 I used to watch this my mother 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5353 there'll be a short introduction video before I take you to a hell of a place 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5354 I get it... when your polemics become paliatives, your perogotives get placebos. And you're standing on my foot. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5355 Mine's an eighty inch 4k. Hi, I'm Darryl, you come here often? 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5356 They don’t have Ultra HD? This is going to be hell! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5357 They're working on a buy-out option if you want to unsubscribe. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5358 He calls it the ‘tinder box’, possibly ironically. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5359 It seems they've streamlined their soul-rotting process. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5360 Want go to my place and binge watch season 666 with me ? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5361 I hear they renewed it for a 129th season. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5362 Heck, this is like a day at the Beach and we don't even need Sunscreen! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5363 I saw this same image in the Terminator movie, minus the naked dead people. 1.1818 0.07381 55 49 2 4
5364 The reception down here is terrible. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5365 This is the weirdest episode of Frazier yet. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5366 I'd rather have God annihilate me than sit through yet another marathon of "Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth"! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5367 Just wait until we get this in virtual reality 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5368 They've already announced a second eon. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5369 - It’s worst than I thought, they don’t even have flat screens! 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
5370 I’m not at all surprised they have dial-up connectivity down here. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5371 NSFW 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
5372 Next, we’ll watch all 172 episodes of “Three’s Company.” Enjoy. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5373 That's the trouble with those "fire and brimstone TV-evangelists --- they never mention that the fire is only to get rid of our old rags and clothes. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5374 Golly, Eve, good thing you didn't eat that apple. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5375 His latest Reality TV. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5376 Fake news is everywhere and the ratings are hot! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5377 They are rebooting hell on Earth 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5378 This low quality picture is torture 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5379 I know, this doesn't seem so bad. But the commercials are hell! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5380 24 hours a day repeats of Gordon Ramsay..... now THAT is purgatory! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
5381 No, not again, the Drumpf Show!! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5382 Well, it's no Woodstock. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
5383 I think I could bear it if it was in hi def. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5384 You will be drenched in red paint so you don't appear to be naked. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5385 He snorted an emphatic "hell no!" when I asked him about Netflix, so I guess this is as good as it's going to get. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5386 Do you think he'll ever change the damned channel? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5387 Fuck. I knew it. Only PBS. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5388 He just ordered a flaming new cable package! 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5389 The hell of it is ...it's always a repeat!!! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5390 Lucifer’s on! 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5391 I think I look pretty hot! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5392 I was already warned about this in high school from my mom. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5393 You'd think a TV would be more static in eternal damnation. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5394 It's just more fake news. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5395 The Fires of Hell went analog when propane topped $3 a gallon. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5396 Rabbit ears? I expected cable down here. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5397 One channel is what makes it Hell. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5398 Hedonism with cable TV!” he promised. Now what? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5399 Whoever volunteers to be incinerated first will have the pleasure of not being live-streamed in front of all of Hell. Any takers? 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5400 Trust me. It's better down here. That's reality television. 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
5401 So this must be the proper fraction ring of Hell. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5402 It looks like they're hinting that we're in for an old-fashioned reception. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5403 Try not to care; it’ll end with a great cliffhanger .... then he’ll cancel the show before closure:( 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5404 Is this the new Netflix crackling yule log? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5405 No HD? This is worse than I thought! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5406 The Devil is nice. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5407 No flat screen? This really IS hell. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5408 That the yule log video?" "Yea." "Guess the holiday shopping season's starting early this year." "Now that's torture. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5409 I've seen 'My Mother the Car" 7,149 times. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5410 We're planning on going next year. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5411 Closed circuit TV. The heat burns up cable. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5412 I have a flat-screen at home. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5413 Satan insists this is less torture than Fox News. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5414 Maybe it would feel hotter if we had cable. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5415 Don't you feel great again, with no clothes on your back? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5416 We have to save energy! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5417 This sucks, we're in Hell. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
5418 Don't worry, it's just fake news. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5419 He said he quit paying for cable so we watch a lot of Gunsmoke. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
5420 It’s funny, I used to play this same video at Christmas. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
5421 They're trying to lower their carbon footprint. 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
5422 I prefer "Naked and Afraid". 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5423 Fear and Consumption is my favorite TV show, too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5424 Well, there’s no place like hell for the holidays. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5425 This is just a preview. More to come. Stay tuned! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5426 Believe me, the other political party is getting far worse. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
5427 I'm so sick of everything being a reboot. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5428 The real hell is that picture quality. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
5429 Last chance to be politically un-correct. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
5430 At least we didn't have to pay for a ticket to Paris. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
5431 Hey can someone get the remote? The TV is showing flames again. 1.1739 0.05650 46 38 8 0
5432 This is nothing. Wait till you see the reality shows. 1.1739 0.05650 46 38 8 0
5433 I am not surprised that is the channel with the best reception around here ... 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5434 Reduces our carbon footprint. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5435 A.I. PURGATORY—-S.R.O. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5436 Yeah, there are only four channels, but next week we're getting UHF! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5437 Hell hath no fury like undergrads burned by a Plato cave reenactment gone awry. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5438 This is hell - no cable, no satellite, only rabbit ears! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5439 We only get shows hosted by Ryan Seacrest. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5440 If the TV has rabbit ears you can bet they don't have any premium channels. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5441 This really is hell. All we have is analog TV. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5442 Well we paid the ultimate price for this pay per view. At least there’s no commercials. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5443 This is not exactly Surround Sound, is it? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5444 My favorite show, "Brimstone," is on next. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5445 The sermon for our Holy Nature's Church today is "Virtual Hell". 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5446 this is worse than I thought. TV with no remote control, and only one channel. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5447 It's not the cooking channel. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5448 I haven't been this embarrassed and terrified since the election of Donald Trump. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5449 He still hasn't subscribed to Netflix, so this is the only way to binge watch the end of humanity. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5450 I've found it's the only way to make them realize how much agony they're in. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5451 Did you know 'netflix & chill' was a sin? 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5452 This orientation sure is thorough. Who knew there were so many varieties of brimstone? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5453 I didn't think it could get hotter than Game of Thrones. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5454 You know what this means ...there's electricity, but no cable! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5455 It's poor reception, but at least it's free. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5456 Hell is other people's TV. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5457 ...or does life imitate art? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5458 That's one hell of a TV. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5459 Well, no, it doesn't burn, but it's the only channel we get! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5460 This truly is hell, the television isn't high def! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5461 When I said watching the yule log on TV with my family was like Hell, I didn't know how right I'd be. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5462 We used to have a flatscreen, but somebody stole it. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5463 Those fireplace videos have a whole new meaning down here. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5464 Would you believe I'm a devil-may-care sort of guy? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5465 It's still better than American television 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5466 So, I guess that this is another benefit of the environmental regulations restricting open fires. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5467 I think it's something about cutting down on fossil fuel. Did you get the message "Come As You Are"? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5468 Satan just won that famous interview guy's soul and now he thinks he's king of the fireside chat with a black background, Christ, this is going to be a long eternity. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5469 Silly, it is. But four hours of commercials? Pure Hell. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5470 I don't watch television. I read books. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5471 These summer reruns are so monotonous, I'm looking forward to Sweeps Week. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5472 Who have guessed video conferencing really was from hell? 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5473 I’m trying not to judge, but along with other problems that’s really poor resolution. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5474 Fire sensitivity training is there worst. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5475 Is this Episode Six of Season Three or are we missing something? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5476 Yeah, Steve Jobs really convinced them to modernize down here 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5477 The fabulous picture quality makes me think it's real 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5478 I'm not sure I'm comfortable enough with my body to be naked in a crowd this size. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5479 It's not the same watching the tournament without dinner. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5480 They're transitioning to solar. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5481 Eh, it's not so hot. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5482 It's the cover of The Catcher in the Rye. Weren't you ever young? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5483 It's just there's nothing on. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5484 Don't suppose he would be amenable to changing the channel (optional:"--to something besides Fox News" 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5485 This is so much better than reading "The Inferno" 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5486 I hate upcoming previews 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5487 You'd think someone with his clout would have something better than an old TV with a rabbit-ears antenna. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5488 Is it just me, or is it too hot in here? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5489 At least it's emission-free. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5490 I didn’t realize eternal damnation meant no Netflix. I am officially freaking out! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5491 Did you also watch a lot of reality TV? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5492 this group's sin was intolerance- we're sentenced to watch a continuous loop infomercial about frying pans for eternity 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5493 Time shares have never been hotter. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5494 We just added Hell’s Kitchen, Chicago Fire and Six Feet Under to our lineup, folks. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5495 I'm not feelin' the bern. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5496 Join or die. Or also die even if you join. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5497 It looks like we got out just in time 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5498 It's pay-per-view. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5499 At least it’s not another Hell’s Kitchen repeat... 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5500 This is no yule log, 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5501 In the next level of hell, they broadcast Fox News. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5502 The definition is barely better than torture! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5503 I'm sick of watching C-SPAN. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5504 I thought he was talking about the Amazon thing. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5505 Bearing your soul is the next step. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5506 This is worse than I imagined. No flat screen TVs. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5507 I'm surprised, because the cable service here is better than you'd ever expect but it just shows the weather channel 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5508 I don't get it, half the Industry is here yet we still only have one channel. And like a Yule log gone wrong. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5509 He's trying to tell us that this is not reality a TV. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5510 Next on W.H.E.L., Hell and Damnation, after this! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5511 They only use analog here, and the screen isn't even HD 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5512 I wish they would update these welcome videos. They feel very 80s. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5513 I hear we’re getting cable next week. And you thought they couldn’t punish us any more! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5514 Well, this beats the 24-hour news cycle! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5515 We now return you to your scheduled program Flame of our Lives. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5516 I’m just glad that it’s not Fox News ... 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5517 Cost saving... Even down here energy bills are hell to pay! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5518 Still gender separated down here must mean he is looking up punishment for the sin of narcissism. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5519 Well I would have thought the devil wouldn’t need to cut corners? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5520 I’m hoping for This Is Us but something tells me it’s Season 3 of Naked and Afraid. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5521 Reality TV from hell. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5522 Well, at least it won't be hard to tell who's hot and who't not . . . 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5523 Watch this while the writers come up with an ending. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5524 Can someone PLEASE pass the remote? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5525 One would think Satan could afford a modern tv without rabbit ears. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5526 Watching a loop of a fire on a black and white TV. My personal television of hell. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5527 It's the second hand suffering channel. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5528 Aren't we pushing the boundaries of virtual reality? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5529 Sure, he’s no angel. But he makes fantastic Supreme Court nominations. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5530 You got to give the United Hell Workers Union credit as conditions have really improved lately. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5531 The commercial breaks are more demoralizing than the searing heat 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5532 Welcome to yet another episode of "Naked and Afried"! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5533 After this comes one year of "My Mother the Car" reruns. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5534 The living room's nice, but you should see the kitchen. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5535 A TV with Rabbit Ears?! This is far worse than anything I could possibly imagine. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5536 He’s reducing his carbon footprint. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5537 Hell has gone digital. It saves on gas... 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5538 Obviously, there are 10 rings of Hell. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5539 "All it shows are the 'My Pillow' commercials. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5540 Primetime television has really become a shit show; nothin' but dumpster fire. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5541 It'd be more painful with a laugh track! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5542 The Hawaiian eruption seems to have renewed their interest in it. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5543 The torture is in having to view the commercials. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5544 The digital age really diminishes experiences if you ask me. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5545 With no cable, this is going to be hell! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5546 They've got Hulu up in Purgatory, but it only plays Two and a Half Men. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5547 "Is it just me, or did you also imagine the devil being much taller"? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5548 In hell there is no cable, internet or test pattern. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5549 Well, it is too hot for there to be snow on the screen. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5550 Broadcast channels only? This really is hell. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5551 Trump on Fox and Fiends. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5552 After this they make us watch reruns of Joanie loves Chachi. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5553 It’s CGI, you can tell. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5554 We just get to watch until they open the millennial wing. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5555 I would have been more careful if I had known that down here I could get only 6 channels plus ghosts on the PBS station. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5556 I’ll give you my Netfiix password and you can watch it for free. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5557 The hell supports the reduction of fossil fuels to stop global warming. All the flames will be replaced by environment-friendly virtual images. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5558 This place ain't exactly Techie Heaven. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5559 Insulted for eternity with a snowy UHF broadcast of fanned cellophane strips. This mockery of heat is psychological cruelty beyond my wildest imagination. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5560 This is going to be hell! With that TV I bet they don't even get Netflix! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5561 I knew it would be bad, but they don't even have flat screen TVs. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5562 They can’t even get satellite? This really is suffering. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5563 This is one hell of a good show. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5564 Whew! I love these live simulcasts! Much better than being there! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5565 This is really hell; they don't even have WiFi. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5566 He promised flat screen and we get rabbit ears!!! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5567 The devilution will be televised. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5568 I understand that they call it “singe therapy” 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5569 There's only one station down here. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5570 Not quite 'Netflix and chill,' but who am I to complain? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5571 ...at least they have a great HMO. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5572 Sorry, all we have is black and white reception. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5573 I sort of expected this orientation to be more 'lit'. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5574 It's tolerable when it's not in high-def. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5575 They're rioting in the 4th Circle. Evidently, a police officer didn't shoot a black man. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5576 I can't believe they're forcing us to watch analogue TV. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5577 The Yuletide log would've sufficed. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5578 It’s like Fox News. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5579 I heard the wedding venue decision was between the quaint European castle and hell. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5580 I heard it's not regular television, it's Hell Box Office. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5581 Yeah season six is great, but seasons 1-5 are the true gems. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5582 All I wanted was ice water. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5583 He killed cable. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5584 'Thought they'd have cable down here.' 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5585 This is Jason, our ventriloquits compliance officer. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5586 Excellent reception, considering.... 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5587 I know it's a little cheap but it seems these days it's the only way to make them pay attention. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5588 It’s worse than I thought. Every channel shows the “View” all day long. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5589 Season 6 had a better plot. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5590 I'm so bored with virtual experiences. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5591 If I had known this would be ironic, I would have stolen a truck of jumbo mm's instead. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5592 Now that you're naked, be afraid, very afraid. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5593 I would've thought they'd have that hot OLED. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5594 -Ah...,Technology's ruined everything! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5595 The eternal binge-watch...from hell. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5596 And they said we wouldn't get any of the hot new shows. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5597 Only in New York, right? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5598 I’ve seen this before. The season’s climax is really great. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5599 Yes, interlaced. And on top of that, only three channels 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5600 Supposedly it's a pretty accurate adaptation, but I don't think very many people down here read the book anyway. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5601 Wanna skip the introduction? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5602 Let's go for the pleasure even if it burns us. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5603 In the Wrath Circle, you have to try to get HBO Go working. 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5604 Don't want to be a pill,but we were promised hi-def. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5605 Show's over. Back on your heads. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5606 I miss 'Netflix and chill.' 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5607 So this must be what it was like before cable. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5608 They can't even give us a real fire; failing infrastructure! 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5609 Well, in the old days..... 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5610 This really is Hell. Not even a flat screen! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5611 Crowded—for nothing! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5612 We shoulda known Hell would be watching commercials for eternity on a 1950's black-and-white TV. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5613 Excuse me miss, personal space! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5614 It's kinda chilly down here, no? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5615 At least we don't have to fight over a remote control. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5616 "The way he's leering at us, I think there's something before the flames. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5617 Sometimes we get reality shows. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5618 I prefer the aquarium channel. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5619 I guess purgatorial porn is better than no porn. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5620 It's not bad enough we all ended up in Hell." "Now we have to watch a short video on how to run around screaming, asking for forgiveness with our hair on fire. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5621 You couldn't choose on Netflix, so I decided for you. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5622 Well, it's the devil you know.........." 1.1731 0.07120 52 46 3 3
5623 I told you, sooner or later "Survivor" would get here. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5624 I heard they’ll offer snacks after this. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5625 Get used to it. The brimstone channel isn't any better. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5626 I hear their still recovering from the recession. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5627 He’s just trying to scare us, don’t believe a word of it. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5628 Just for the smell, I'd take being in a real fire over this arrangement any day. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5629 Bad reception and there's only one damn channel. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5630 I guess brimstone got caught up in the trade tariffs. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5631 I saw Gersh over there and he got a tiny little dick. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5632 I though they said Chicago Fire was on 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5633 If I had known there were commercial breaks in hell, I never would have coveted my neighbor's wife. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5634 Gee, you'd think they would have better technolgy 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5635 Apparently this is more energy efficient 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5636 OMG, there's no remote ! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5637 He can’t afford cable? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5638 Don't be alarmed...it's just fake news media! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5639 To hell with modern art. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5640 TV break’s over! Everyone back to the pit of misery! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5641 Hawaii was hot enough before. Why do they need fire? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5642 557 channels and all we get is the Yule Log in May. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5643 I miss cable. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5644 No cable? Wow, this really is Hell. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5645 He finds it hard to justify going all out when you can get it on television. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5646 It's not really bad until they show the last Seinfeld. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5647 No cable. Still, it's better than the real thing. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5648 You know, this reminds me a lot of Christmas at my mother-in-law's house. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5649 I suddenly have an urge to exchange and unwrap gifts. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
5650 Commercial TV? This is worse than I imagined. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5651 It's all starting to make sense now. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5652 Think before you streak. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5653 Hell was so much better before CGI 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5654 How in hell did we get cable? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5655 That's what happens when you drain the swamp. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
5656 Nothing quite like a fireside chat meet-up to bare one's soul 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
5657 Ugh, a black and white TV! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
5658 At least it's not Big Brother...that would be hell. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
5659 At least it's not "Cartoon Network." 1.1707 0.06899 41 35 5 1
5660 I'm glad we didn't pack any winter clothes. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5661 It's not too late to repent 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5662 I always found watching TV to be torturous, but I must admit, these flames are mesmerizing! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5663 I wondered what happened to that Sequester thing. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5664 They got me for bragging I didn't own a TV set. How about you? 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5665 What time does brimstone come on again? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5666 Back in my day, "The Voice" was a singer and listening to him was not a sin. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5667 ...I guess the grass isn't ALWAYS greener on the other side. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5668 Nice introductory video, but still burning fossil-fuel! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5669 Yep, we have to binge watch 'Hell's Kitchen.' 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5670 I didn't realize carbon emissions smelled so much like fire and brimstone. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5671 So I guess the midterms were more of a red wave then? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5672 It seems admissions wasn't too keen on the minority experience. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5673 When they let in latecomers, let's stay out here. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5674 It’s all the spoilers for all the shows you should have watched when you had the chance. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5675 It's just the Yule Log, but we're the next log. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5676 Everything shrinks when it's cold. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5677 Hot enough for ya? 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5678 They're having some technical difficulty. It will take some time but we've got plenty. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5679 We will spray you with fire retardant. We will have your backs. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5680 In my previous life I never had any patience for orientation programs. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5681 At least we won't have to pay for cable. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5682 I bet that trident makes one hell of a channel changer. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5683 This is worse than I thought -- a B&W television. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5684 This place is a virtual hell! 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5685 OK! OK ! Listen up...This is season 5! The complete series is available only on VHS, see your torturer for the key to AV room. And by the… Spoiler alert!... There is no spoiler alert, what you see is all there is. Welcome to Hell! 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5686 I thought we are going to green earth, this appears to be hell. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5687 Do you smell hot dogs? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5688 I used to watch this every year after A Christmas Carol. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5689 I thought eternal damnation would be broadcast in HD? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5690 EPA overreach is the real devil. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5691 Should we tell him about HI DEF? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5692 I had heard the old man was mellowing as he ages. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5693 Welcome to hell... our new intolerance compliance video should be nothing new to most of you. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5694 I heard it's even better than porn. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5695 Telecommuting can be Hell. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5696 Satan started it, HULU took it over then NETFLIX bought it. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5697 I’m tired of reality tv 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5698 Reruns of “The Blob”, we are in hell. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5699 I thought hell would be more like a reality show. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5700 Welcome to Hell-e-vision 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5701 Our clothes. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5702 They call it the cruel log down here. If they really wanted to make it torture, they'd add the Christmas music. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5703 At least it's better than the TVs at the EPA. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5704 When they said 'national geographic', this was not what I expected. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5705 Every show is in standard definition. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5706 The other guy's pitch was better. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5707 Yeah, it's part of the Devil's campaign to head the EPA. Cable, color and a big screen would have helped. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5708 I had wondered where that Betamax tape had gone. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5709 I'll bet the TV in heaven is showing angels. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5710 I think it’s a rerun but it’s kind of hard to tell. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5711 It's the poor reception that gets to you after awhile. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5712 No cable! This truly is Hell. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5713 Having this Orientation was one hell of an idea! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5714 Is this a "reality" show? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5715 I don’t understand why we let the arsonists vote anymore. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5716 They haven't been able to keep up with the influx. We're relegated to watching the Closed Circuit TV feed. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5717 Down here they call this the Home Shopping Network. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5718 Well it’s a lot colder in Heaven. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5719 We must be in hell. Where's the Samsung 75" Smart 4K UHD TV? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5720 I think i'll stick with my time share at Cap d'Agde. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5721 It's in standard definition... this really is hell. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5722 I can't help thinking something was lost when we went digital. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5723 wtf hell's actually pretty sick lol 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5724 Rabbit Ears! This really is Hell 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5725 Trump insists there is no perversion. This is simply the best means of grabbing staffers by their privates to prevent leaking. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5726 Well this is embarrassing! 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5727 And the good news is.... 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5728 Dammed if we do, dammed if we don't? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5729 Over-the-air TV only? This really is Hell! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5730 Do you think we’ll ever get our phones back? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5731 ...ever since Satan went eco-friendly 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5732 They have the same cheapskate local broadcast crap in heaven but with that boring Gospel stuff. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5733 I'm all for company culture --- but this year's keynote speech seems a little over the top. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5734 Rabbit ears? I thought for sure this place would have cable. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5735 Advances in technology are only going to make this worse. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5736 This might actually be better than cable. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5737 And if you complain it automatically changes to CNN. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5738 No! Not an eternity of CNN Breaking News. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5739 The only other channel only shows Law and Order reruns 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5740 Go home Lori, this is my one day away from the kids. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5741 I TOLD you this nudist resort wasn't the best! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5742 Any takers? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5743 What did you expect once Bezosabub took control? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5744 Good, I am so glad they are curious about our colony! Finally, the word is getting out to other planets! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5745 Next time read the fine print before you sign the cable contract. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5746 He's saving money on the heating bill. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5747 Behold the eternal cable tv 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5748 Toughest Workout Of The Day in CrossFit history. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5749 Is this your idea of a fun weekend? 1.1667 0.06868 54 48 3 3
5750 Hell: The Ultimate Reality Show" has been renewed for eternity, everybody! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5751 The reception isn’t so hot down here. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5752 It doesn't matter...we are all going to die.. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5753 As an atheist I regret the TV reception. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5754 It's only surprising if you've never been in a Radioshack. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5755 This orientation video reminds me of the Trump presidency. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5756 Cable is out again, do you want to get a hot chocolate 1.1667 0.06868 54 48 3 3
5757 After the safety lecture, do they allow Wi-Fi? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5758 He got the idea from that Yule Log they have on TV every Christmas. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5759 Is this Childish Gambino? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5760 I'll be damned if it's not the golden age of TV here, too. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5761 The Devil made me do it! 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5762 It must be their version of a Yule Log 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5763 You'd think he could at least have a 70-inch flat screen! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5764 It's the orientation film, starring Redrum and Rellik. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5765 Upstairs has been taking a lot of heat lately. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5766 I'm not saying the show isn't problematic, but I feel like that's kind of the point. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5767 See this is what happens when 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5768 It's much better on the big screen - you know, with surround-a-burn. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5769 I’d rather be burned alive than spend eternity watching Slow TV. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5770 Who ever thought that Critics would wind up in their very own circle of Hell? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5771 You had me at barbecue. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5772 And now, coming to you from your new activities director... 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5773 These State of the Unions are getting worse every year 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5774 That's it. There's no remote. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5775 I miss seeing snow when there is nothing reception. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5776 we will be stuck with the local station 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5777 What the hell; let’s go for it! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5778 Trust me, this is a step up from Genghis Khan's doo-wop group 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5779 Yeah it makes his job easy, but I go back and forth on whether the Christmas music is torture or not. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5780 Who in hell does he think he's fooling? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5781 The micro is that life imitates art. The macro is that we're going to be standing here forever because this is a New Yorker cartoon. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5782 I say we hide behind God's bushes back there, and get away from these devil worshiping creeps. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5783 I think we should all just un-plug, and get back to nature! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5784 We only get four channels, but next week I hear we're getting UHF! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5785 Flames in hell? Groundbreaking. This marketing is so 2008. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5786 During May Sweeps, they put the log on. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5787 I hear they don't have cable in heaven. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5788 Don't worry. I have some hope back in my room. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5789 Riding the highway on the way here was way more fun. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5790 We used to just have a radio sound recording - this is way better! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5791 It's either this or put a sweater on. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5792 Even in life, I said this was hell. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5793 I didn't like the Yule log video either. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5794 It’s fake news. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5795 It's an orientation film for the new folks: "Hot Enough for Ya?" 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5796 It's good for the environment but leaves me cold. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5797 Can you change the channel? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5798 The environmentalists outlawed Brimstone. But the Yule fire is a nice touch. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5799 When we got our first HDTV, I said to my wife, "I feel like I've died and gone to heaven." 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5800 And here is our top-of-the-line 4K Retina display. Really brings the flames to life. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5801 Are you here for the Chef or Waiting position? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5802 This is hell alright, no satellite TV no cable 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5803 The Travel Channel on cable as better visuals. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5804 He believes screen time is bad for us. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5805 He cracked the algorithmic code! Yule log '96 was the height of human misery! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5806 I don't know what scares me more, the idea of burning in hell or the fact that the televisions in hell are 30 years behind the times. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5807 The Weather Channel is like Fox News around here. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5808 It’s either this or the marshmallow channel. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5809 Ah, the good old day before CGI and George Lucas... 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5810 Who knew Hell was going to be so boring? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5811 In Hell, all we get is reality TV 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5812 Reminds me of standing in line at Nathan's 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5813 I'm confused. I distinctly remember the Prophet telling you guys that plural marriage is the true path to Heaven. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5814 ‘The Apprentice,’ again? 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5815 I only came because I wanted to be in the scene with Mia Farrow. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5816 Not only is "Home Fires Burning" the only channel down here, but it is Pay-Per-View! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5817 I never thought I'd miss the Kardashians. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5818 I just knew it. Hell would have an orientation. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5819 I heard the missus is menopausal. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5820 A VIDEO OF FIRE 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5821 I like it warm but hell, this is crazy. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5822 Didn't I tell you hell is life without cable? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5823 I'm just here for the people watching. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5824 Commercials are still the best thing on TV. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5825 'Netflix and chill means something different down here' 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5826 You think it's bad without clothes? At least you're not in the president's cabinet. It's a bloodbath up there. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5827 Low definition TV? This must be hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5828 All this time on empty podiums shows how complicit the media is. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5829 It's just another rerun 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5830 I don't know what's worse - Actual fire or seeing it naked on an old CRT tv. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5831 Look, we ran over our fire budget. To make up for it, watch this burning yule log video from last Christmas. You're welcome. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5832 Now who's the dummy? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5833 My guess is he's streaming this news from Hawaii via the FireTV Stick. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5834 I’ve heard that before Global Warming, this place used to have a better entertainment program. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5835 Must be the Holidays...all we get is the yule log channel 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5836 I don't think we're in purgatory anymore. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5837 That's the problem with the whole idea of eternal torment. At some point, even the tormentors get so bored they just stop trying. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5838 I hear that heaven has cable. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5839 I thought there would be plasma televisions. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5840 Well, I guess the kids were right- this IS better than going outside. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5841 OK Everybody, were moving to Hawaii 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5842 I hear we’re getting a flat screen next week. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5843 The brimstone's on Betamax. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5844 So much for becoming a 'Fed'! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5845 He takes the idea of picturing the audience naked very literally. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5846 I heard that hell froze over but I didn't believe it until now. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5847 I hear that the poor bastards in the Sixth Circle are forever looking for the remote. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5848 The way they're conserving energy down here, a snowball might actually stand a chance in hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5849 They have hi-def flat screens upstairs, but you have to wear those horrid gowns. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5850 Sheesh! I knew damned for eternity would be no fun but....we don't even get cable?? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5851 Am I too late foe the Spencer Tunick shoot? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5852 Yeah it’s hot down here, but there’s good tv, pretty girls and i’ll never have to deal with shrinkage.” 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5853 If you ask me, the whole concept is retro eek. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5854 Nice reception...lousy graphics... 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5855 Why is it always the guy with the biggest pitchfork who calls the shots? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5856 You know the tempurature, the nudity it’s all fine, but no HD? Starting to seem like Hell 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5857 He raised hell when I called them "burny ears." 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5858 I've applied to be the Devil's Nudist Advocate. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5859 Since we are incorporeal, anyway, I guess virtual flames are no big deal 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5860 Thank god for the great indoors. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5861 Take it from me - do NOT tell him how much it reminds you of the fireplace channel you'd watch on Christmas morning... 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5862 Honestly, this is worse than I expected. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5863 I hear in heaven they have HiDef. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5864 This is almost as bad as watching ‘The Holiday Log. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5865 Eternal Reality TV. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5866 These previews are always way too long. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5867 These infomercials are hellish. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5868 Where’s the brimstone? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5869 See? Right there. We DO have black friends! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5870 Not quite the same as having a fire place - still, for the holidays it's a nice touch. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5871 Hope it burns up the ratings. I didn't sign on to "Naked and in Hell" for nothing. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5872 He likes to watch a scary movies on halloween. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5873 When was it that god stopped showing up for these events...? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5874 I hear it corrupts the youth 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5875 Do we really need inspirational instruction videos? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5876 Crowdsourcing, my ass. He’ll never let us get an HDTV. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5877 I know I’m dreaming. It’s all so...traditional. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5878 This health insurance plan is way better than my old PPO! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5879 We're ready...come hell or high water 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5880 I don't think we need an orientation video. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5881 Don't you think this dating service is just too strict? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5882 I wonder what he'll do to me if I start singing 'Ain't it Hot Hot Hot'? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5883 You say it’s “Naked and afraid” ...I thought it was “Survivor “.. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5884 "Reality TV" is so twentieth century. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5885 I didn't bring my sun tan lotion. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5886 at least it's not HD! submitted by Wes age 8 OR 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5887 It gets worse. At eight he changes the channel to reruns of Gilligan's Island. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5888 Do you think that’s why his trident is so big? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5889 I guess they are saving energy everywhere 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5890 Ok everybody. First of all, we so appreciate your patronage. This is the sort of thing you can all expect when we get inside. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5891 Welcome to Hell everybody. First, we'll watch this quick 15-20 minute instructional video, then we can begin the guided tour 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5892 So, when's he going to change the channel? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5893 I think it's a cow that badly needs to be milked. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5894 I'd swear in a stack of bibles, he sounds and looks exactly like my Drill Sargent! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5895 It's Much More Interesting Than Air Conditioning ! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5896 I guess you missed the spoiler alert. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5897 And we thought those time share guys were pushy. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5898 Gas bill last month was hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5899 Ever since the writers' strike, it's just been hell. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5900 Frankly, I like it. AND everyone here says "Merry Christmas." 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5901 At least they have Saint Elmo’s in syndication 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5902 This 10th Circle isn't so bad. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5903 It's not much better in higher resolution. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5904 Did you sign up for the potluck? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5905 Hey, Steph, I finally get that McLuhan joke!!! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5906 The Yule log added something. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5907 The Price is Right is on next. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5908 I bet Premium Cable would give us the true experience of fire and brimstone! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5909 It's either Hawaii or Hell 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5910 I think those rabbits need some tin foil. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5911 Now that's what I call a boob tube 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5912 let’s get off on the next floor 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5913 By doubling energy consumption they hope to meet climate warming goals over the next decade. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5914 "I liked the Christmas Yule Log better". 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5915 This is the discount package. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5916 Even Hell itself has to modernize. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5917 Are we paying extra for a Hell All Access subscription or is it part of the basic cable package? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5918 This has nothing on the Yule Log. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5919 It’s not even HD, this really IS hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5920 Brown, James Brown!!! 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5921 Looks like we beat the rush. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5922 Look, I'm just going to put it out there; do you ever feel like our role play has gotten out of hand? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5923 Every little bit counts, in the fight against global warming. 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5924 Watching the boob tube for eternity really is hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5925 Could you sign this consent form acknowledging that I share details about your personal life with our co-workers around the water cooler? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5926 I see reruns of ‘The Jerry Springer Show’. What do you see? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5927 At least it's not basic cable. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5928 And now for a special report, Springtime in Grand Forks. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5929 All these old people want to see that old wired box thingy to watch TV? This IS Hell! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5930 I bet he doesn't even get HBO. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5931 I've heard he’s trying to crack down on fossil fuels so… 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5932 I'm not too crazy about the previews. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5933 So they added a tenth circle for stars of reality TV. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5934 I’d rather take a bath. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5935 i cant bare to watch the devil 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5936 I knew I’d end up at Walmart... 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5937 I should have eaten Wheaties! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5938 I could watch the HellNews Channel all day long. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5939 Enough with the commercials! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5940 What a boob I was to not believe he was such a prick. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5941 This is his version of the Christmas Log on TV for eternity. At least its better than the cable sign-up commercials that it replaced. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5942 It's REALLY nice on Christmas Eve. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5943 If this is Hell,I'm in Heaven! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5944 I guess this is what they call virtual reality 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5945 Boring... 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5946 Budget cuts...at least it's not a big screen! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5947 What's worse is there's no remote. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5948 It’s not even HD. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5949 Could you please change the channel? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5950 Now I know what Hell is. No flat screen tv. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5951 On last week's episode of "Naked and Afraid" someone was bitten in the ass by an alligator. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5952 [[This image is fairly offensive for some reason. You should pick another]] 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5953 ugh.. can we fast forward it? I hate these damned commercials. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5954 I hear we get free HBO 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5955 It’s his version of Exteme Makeover and we’re auditioning for the next episode. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5956 Here, every channel is ambiance all the time. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5957 You'd think they would at least have cable by now. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5958 First, for the next 100years, you must watch reruns of "Joanie Loves Chachi" 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5959 It’s a step to cut down on global warming 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5960 I am hoping I win the free trip to "Paris Fashion Week"! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5961 "What do you find more torturous? All the ads for Heaven, or being denied the pleasures of a High Definition flatscreen? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5962 Only 16 more hours until the Jersey Shore marathon! 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5963 Had I known we would all be naked, I would have thought twice about being a glutton. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5964 I heard that this is the final episode in this series. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5965 Does SPF 50 protect you from high heat? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5966 Here it’s only re-runs...no commercials. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5967 I was pretty sure there wouldn't be wifi, but I thought there would at least be satellite TV. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5968 There really is a hell 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5969 Isn't it impressive how well M*A*S*H holds up? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5970 I think it's a rerun. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5971 It’s called The Yule Log. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5972 They say weather forecasters love it down here! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5973 He’s become much more aware of under global warming. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5974 I know... Low-def. It's torture. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5975 How disappointing. No cable. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5976 I don't know about anyone else, but this flick is doing zero towards getting me in the mood. Is there a volunteer willing to maybe climb up there and vigorously manipulate the rabbit ears? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5977 We used to have rabbit ears on our family television. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5978 Even in Purgatory they have a flat-screen TV. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5979 I always said that reality TV was a fresh hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5980 He keeps promising HD in the hereafter. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5981 Somebody has stolen his remote. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5982 If they’re going to bore us to death, I wish they’d just show commercials. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5983 This is their attempt to reduce dependence on fossil fuel. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5984 You know, these Housewives reality shows really help me feel better about my situation. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5985 It looks better on cable. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5986 I heard there were budget cuts. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5987 Diners, drive-ins, and death am I right? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5988 Hell hath no fury like multiple lovers scorned 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5989 Gee, that trade war really cut deep. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5990 Having a special place reserved for all of us down here is not so bad, but having to watch CNN for eternity really sucks! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5991 It seems we have to watch a commercial bofore we go down. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5992 Kind of chilly in here. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5993 Gas was turned off but we still got electricity, so he wants us to at least see the flames. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5994 I preferred it when it was just the vast wasteland. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5995 Who knew C-SPAN could be so exciting? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5996 Only this channel? Worst Hell ever! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5997 Netflix. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5998 Im a bit disappointed. I thought it would be warmer down here. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5999 The reception in hell is not that bad after all. Even Satan came to greet us. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6000 Being forced to watch non HD for an eternity truly is a living hell. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6001 Yes, we’ve lost a certain romance, but our eternal fire bill has plummeted and we’re on track to phase out brimstone entirely. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6002 This is the most boring onboarding video I've ever seen. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6003 It's a Sinatron. Nice picture quality. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6004 Nice to see that things are the same back home. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6005 You know Mr. Belvedere wasn't that bad a show. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6006 I don't care, I'm a radio-guy, myself. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6007 Not bad. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6008 Lose cable all ye who enter here. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6009 I thought at least we'd get cable.... 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6010 Is that the smell of sulphur did somebody just trump? 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6011 I guess all hell broke loose. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6012 He makes us watch reruns of a show he used to be the star of...I think it's called The Apprentice 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6013 I'm not saying I was a saint, but Standard-Definition? Really? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6014 Don't worry, those flames are obviously fake news. I'm mean even the TV and that guy's costume are fake. They can't do anything right. Sad. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6015 Great reception! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6016 We're in the white collar section. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6017 I'm not sure - it could season 666. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6018 What, a flat screen doesn't get hot enough? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6019 I lied about never watching TV. Why are you here? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6020 So this is what it is like to stand naked before God but I didn’t know Satan would be here,too. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6021 It’s colder than I thought... 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6022 I dunno, it feels like we’re cheating hell somehow. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6023 That Jon Snow guy was full of it! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6024 So glad you're relieved. Bad news is, you're all CGI, and your actual bodies are downstairs in the actual furnace. Have a great eternity. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6025 This is Milleanials Clothes Horse idea of Hell. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6026 A pledge break would be hell right now. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
6027 And to think that watching FOX NEWS cold land us here. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6028 One channel over-the-air? Now that really is Hell! 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6029 Wait 'til Flava Flav comes on. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6030 This is easily my favorite rerun. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
6031 I'm sure it would look hotter in 4K... 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6032 You have to admire his creativity. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
6033 The ninth circle of hell is a vintage TV with indoor aerial... 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6034 Well...with fuel costs on the rise, it looks like cutbacks are hitting everybody. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6035 It's inspired by "The Apprentice". 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6036 It looks like Netflix is out of the question. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6037 He forgot to pay the gas bill. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6038 Another damn screen! 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6039 So much for getting the local channels in HD... 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6040 I thought it would be worse down here. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6041 Black and white TV? If that's all we get, we really are in Hell. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6042 The good part is coming up soon! 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6043 They're opening the new subdivision 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6044 Unless we get some clothes, that fire looks warm to me! 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6045 Old set 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6046 That's a relief. Last week we had to watch Knicks games. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6047 These 'As Advertised on TV' infomercials always intrigue me. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6048 I didn’t expect Hell to have such a WPIX-feel to it. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6049 Trying to reduce brimstone emissions. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6050 Looks warm and cosy to me! 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6051 Who in Hell is in charge? One old TV, one channel, and all reruns of the same show! 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6052 This nudist beach certainly gets a lot hotter than I expected. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6053 Oh darn. No Wi-Fi. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6054 All we get is Heckflicks. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6055 If you think this is hell, wait until Uncle Miltie comes on. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6056 The News is nothing but fire and brimstone these days! 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6057 At least our cable package comes with public-access 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6058 Well, this show is really burning up the competition. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6059 You think this cutback is bad? I haven't even been tortured in days. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6060 Seriously...that's his job? To tell us to turn so we don't burn? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6061 So, this is how he tortures TV couch potatoes. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6062 Do you think I can keep the glasses? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6063 Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do still like the yule log channel! 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6064 I hear it's worse than it looks. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6065 Satan's a late adopter. The brimstone's wax paper. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6066 Hell is only having the Fireplace Channel on tv all day. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6067 In season 3,576, we find out who the killer is. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6068 I think this the course on smoke detector safety. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6069 This is so meta. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6070 Gas prices went up again. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6071 I'm all for fire safety but I still don't get when I'm supposed to scream in pain or stop, drop and roll..... 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6072 This reminds me of a great scene from the Wire. Did you see the Wire? 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6073 The real torture is the long commercial breaks 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
6074 Rabbit Ears and a CRT! What could be worse? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6075 Things have gotten so bad they can't even afford cable. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6076 I know that we're here for eternity, but he does realize that somewhere out there is the 21st century, right? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6077 I really thought Sadaam would've had a bigger dick 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6078 Most casting calls for extras don’t include this much fair warning. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6079 What’s going on again? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6080 Even with budget cuts, you'd think they could get cable here of all places. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6081 Trump voters finally free to sexually harass. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6082 The good news is that we all are to be given a complete understanding of all truth and beauty. The bad news is that television will soon begin broadcasting Fox News for the rest of eternity. If they left me my hat, it'd be off to him. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6083 It's only fire and brimstone repeats. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6084 The great thing about cable is the never-ending supply of election coverage. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6085 First Trump, then another Ford. I knew it was a bad idea. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6086 They closed down the coal mines to protect the environment. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6087 Will sunscreen help? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6088 It's awfully popular for a show that doesn't do much in the way of character development... 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6089 first things first, shelter and water. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6090 This is the All-American First Class program: Guns, Drugs, Nakedness.....and cable. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
6091 For being trapped for all eternity, you would think they would at least get High-Def. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6092 With oil at $70 a barrel, they couldn't afford real hellfire. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6093 Nothing works right in hell. Even the inferno is on the blink. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
6094 Wow, imagine missing this! That guy with the pitchfork must’ve done something REALLY bad. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6095 Even in the afterlife, we live in a simulation. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6096 They ran out of room in the Second Circle. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
6097 Cosby Show reruns again. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6098 It cannot be live streaming on that antique. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
6099 It's just because it's cold in here... 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
6100 I think you will like our new digital version of hell, fire and brimstone. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
6101 American Horror Story Programming... 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
6102 This is so much better than last week's Barney & Friends marathon. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6103 White House press briefing. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6104 I don't know what's worse, Hell, or having tom's butt in my face 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
6105 Yeah, so, Satan forgot to pay the cable bill and pick up the laundry again. He's such a deadbeat. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
6106 I’m a little disappointed in the picture quality... 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
6107 Gather around everyone and feel the warmth of the fire. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6108 They save their best talent for the commercials. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6109 I don't know why we need a political consultant selling fear. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6110 Can't they fix this hellish reception? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
6111 He outsourced the flames to India. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6112 I wondered what happened to that bucket of massage oil. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6113 I see we dressed appropriately for the occasion. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6114 Yeah, it's like the video yule log fire and Beelzebub over there is stingy with the remote. What say we do some writhing..... 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6115 So now we know - hell only has a black and white TV. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6116 I knew the networks were in trouble, but this is worse than I thought. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6117 It's ironic, but he thinks the Yule log is really effective. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6118 If I knew there was going to be a TV I would have stolen more than just a ChapStick 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6119 Do you think he's got a Roku? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6120 you are hereby summoned to appear for jury duty 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6121 Satan was really excited to hear that they finally uploaded episodes of Sunday Night Heat to WWE Network. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6122 Guess this isn't Burning Man. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6123 - I guess no budget for HD! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6124 My exwife, upon my death, provided the following recommendations to Satan .. no cable, no 24 hour sports channel and no remote. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6125 Is this for real? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6126 'I'm seeing a 2003 Yule Log influence." 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6127 I expected TV in Hell, but I always thought it'd be 'Real Housewives' or something. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6128 The Flames of Hell have been a lot less hot this season. Shouldn't have sold it to Disney 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6129 Darn cable's down again 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6130 An eternity of ads -- this really _is_ hell! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6131 Pre-tweet media 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6132 Are we bad people if we jailbreak the firestick? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6133 The fake media is melting. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6134 I think it means the end of the world is here. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6135 I hope this time share presentation doesn't last forever as I'm really looking forward to the free tickets to Disneyland 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6136 The old WPIX "Yule Log" it isn't. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6137 These budget cuts are something, eh? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6138 It's a budget reduction action. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6139 I heard it's our turn next week. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6140 I heard they used to burn sinners in hellfire, but someone in the front office decided making us watch it on a non-HD TV was just as painful. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6141 I guess it's out of the bedroom and into the fire. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6142 This trailer is going to hell. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6143 This week the Kardashians are really in trouble. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6144 Is the video a "warm up" for what's going to happen to us? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6145 I guess the reception is always pretty poor down here. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6146 The Lord of Darkest promised all of us a triple X-rated movie, so hot & filthy , it will have us participating, willingly, in the biggest, sickest, sexual orgy of our afterlife! We've been waiting for days now, this IS HELL! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6147 Is this a “scared straight” redux or a retro immersive virtual reality therapy session? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6148 When they turn it off after the anthem, you get that tiny white speck floating off into nothingness. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6149 It's hotter than hell in Satan's den! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6150 Well I guess it is only too long if its bad. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6151 It will get more lively when "Virtual Reality" finally arrives. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6152 The 2011 version was a hell lot better. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6153 Alright! Free Sin-o-max! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6154 No cable, no clothes. This is hell. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6155 It’s pique TV. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6156 Well, it'd be more convincing on a flat screen with UHD. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6157 It was the only leadership summit we could afford. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6158 They have a no late seating policy so we can't get in the First Circle, but the porn is in the Second anyway. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6159 For Pete’s sake, someone change the channel! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6160 What did you expect, HDTV? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6161 We lost the remote. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6162 So Mirna, what are your plans for this winter ??! That looks like a hell of a place !! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6163 They really should cut the cable. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6164 We have to be sure to bring the sunblock. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6165 Oh to hell with it, let's go! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6166 The commercials just seem to go on forever! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6167 The focus group guy didn't mention this. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6168 So it was "a cold day IS hell?" Cosmic typo. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6169 You might be right, but then what did yule logs represent? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6170 So this is entertainment in the naked city. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6171 That’s one hell of a show. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6172 It's called ASI....Aritificial Suffering Intelligence. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6173 "Hell" is right! I've always preferred cable to rabbit ears. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6174 Guess they got behind on the utility and the cable bills. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6175 So we took our clothes off...did Nelly say anything else? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6176 I told him I was looking for a two bedroom with a REAL fireplace. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6177 He could have at least upgraded to surround sound. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6178 Finally...Reality TV that is actually real. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6179 Never thought I'd see UHF again. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6180 look, I said downsizing works. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6181 They just show this same Game of Thrones scene over and over, and you never get to the ending. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6182 Was I really a flaming A-hole all my life? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6183 Wow! It has a tanning salon, too? I'm in! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6184 I was hoping for a 50” flat screen. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6185 No flat screen ? No wonder they call this hell. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6186 The ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ marathon starts after the commercial. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6187 It's for newbies: just to prove we are are really in Hell they let us watch the Kardashians...over and over..and over 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6188 The reality is not as bad as it looks. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6189 CCTV. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6190 I love the new reality show! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6191 At least it's not in HD. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6192 Fox News, I'll bet. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6193 If this works, in Q3 we're going for Virtual Reality. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6194 This is 90's torture. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6195 This feels like a total waste of time, no way Nelly really uses this for his video concept for “It’s getting hot in here...” 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6196 TV hell is a new public awareness presentation of the EPA. They want the climate change people to stop saying "It's getting hotter than hell" willy-nilly. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6197 TV in hell sucks; I want my soul, shame, and Netflix back. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6198 I needed a spark in my life. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6199 I'm still not sold on this Escape Room thing. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6200 When I heard 'come on down' I never would have guessed there's a 'The Price Is Right' in hell. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6201 The only channel we get is C-SPAN 2 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6202 The Murder Channel is my favorite. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6203 I hear they're playing Gremlins next. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6204 We're an equal opportunity employer - all bodies welcome! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6205 At least he could have sprung for hellfire in HD! 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6206 The punishment is, it's all reruns. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6207 See Bonnie, I told you it’s all fake news - it’s actually quite pleasant here. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6208 So far, I think I prefer Season 1. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6209 Having to watch on an old TV really is hell. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6210 Reality TV isn't any better down here. 1.1489 0.07437 47 43 1 3
6211 Refreshing! I was beyond overwhelmed by clothing and viewing options life offered. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6212 It's closed-circuit. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6213 Remember when we thought televised yule logs were an invention of the devil? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6214 I assumed there'd be a hotspot. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6215 It’s better in black & white. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6216 This training video was clearly recorded in the 70's 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6217 Whodathunkit ! 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6218 Did you know they ran corporate days? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6219 We're just doing this so he feels less nervous about his speech. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6220 1. At least when I was alive I had 200 channels with nothing on. 2. Who'd have thought that virtual hell could be worse than the real thing? 3. I knew I should have died sooner. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6221 Could be worse, at least it’s not old reruns of Honey BooBoo. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6222 You're not fooling me. You've been staring at her the whole time. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6223 All who watched Fox News non-stop and believed everything they told you - please step this way. A new torment awaits. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6224 Watching in standard definition is torture. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6225 I love me some bad old crackle. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6226 Get a load of those fake TV flames 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6227 Hell hath no fury like a documentary in real time on global warming. 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
6228 What kind of dummy uses comic sans font anyway? 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6229 It's his concession to OSHA. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6230 Makes more sense than the Christmas fire log he was playing yesterday. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6231 Understandable. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6232 I still don’t know why we had to be naked to watch his Tv. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6233 They say the "damnation" part is just the poor reception, and wait till you see what passes for brimstone. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6234 I disagree, season 2 was way better. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6235 These training videos are just hell. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6236 I've never heard of him, but apparently he was really hot on the New York scene so they had to have him. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6237 I don't miss the clothes, but I missed the cable. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6238 Every Halloween he puts on the Ghoul Log. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6239 Does anyone know how to change the channel on this thing? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6240 Check out the lovely tits in the front row. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
6241 It's not a hand basket. It's a CRT. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
6242 I thought they've have cable. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6243 Things around here have gone to Hell since Netflix picked up the Yule Log channel. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6244 Is this Norway or Hell? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6245 It hasn't improved since they showed it at Parris Island in '69. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6246 Can you believe it's not in color!! 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6247 It's the Dante Channel. The "chill" part is doubtful... 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6248 I'd kill for a flat screen. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6249 Well, at least Carnival Line has a TV that works. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6250 Wait till you see the marshmallows. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6251 I hear the next level is in HD 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6252 It’s hot as hell in here 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6253 Doesn’t he get any other channels? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6254 I thought he said, “Uncle Miltie,” not “Milton...” 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6255 It's a bit chilly. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6256 Fellas, we only offer complimentary Fire TV here. If you wanted HBO, you should've done better in your lives. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6257 So hell is watching previews for eternity? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6258 If those antennae are any indication, we're in for a 20th century welcome show. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6259 This is terrible - it's not even HD! 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6260 I really did intend on going to the gym regularly, but... 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6261 Are you OK? I am feeling a bit of a chill. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6262 Great royal wedding seats in the No Fascinator section - but at least we can hear the fire sermon! 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6263 The set is upside down, silly. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6264 I wonder what the commercials will be like. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6265 Welcome to the Canadian Energy Efficient Hell. Also known as EEH. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6266 Ever since they went to the "Take a Ticket, Take a Number" system of running the Sex Club, membership has improved significantly. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6267 So, who let Kevin touch the remote? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6268 It's a Hell of a thing to have to watch reruns for eternity. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6269 What the hell is going on up there? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6270 At least they have cable. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6271 Gad, even the pre-event video is so retro! 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6272 Netflix, comes out with net flames. I’m jiggly Netflix, netflames! Aren’t you glad we subscribed? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6273 You Devil ruined our TV and we’re all naked; why? 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6274 The Palais de Tokyo’s “Visite Naturiste” is about to begin. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6275 We knew missing Meghan and Harry was not an option. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6276 How's got the remote? 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6277 The Rotten Tomatoes score is 17 percent, but I want you to be the judge. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6278 I got this great deal for one tv channel. It's cheaper than heating this place. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6279 Time to go burn at the Fake News stake. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6280 Your cover has been blown. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6281 Surprise! Hell as is turns out is an eternity watching Super Bowl commercials. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6282 I would have assumed we could pre-register for this on Facebook didn't you? 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6283 This clothing optional idea seems to have really increased attendance at these programs.... 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6284 I thought the boob tube would be better down here. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6285 Nicely reminiscent of the Yule Log.... 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
6286 The WiFi is really rotten. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
6287 Was a li'l worried when I heard they're getting fire sticks in addition to pitchforks, but amazon delivered a pleasant surprise. 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
6288 No cable or flat screen, it really is horrible. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6289 It's hell not seeing this in hi-def. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6290 They're showing previews of coming events. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
6291 --Wanna fuck before we fry? --Go to hell! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6292 They do have good reception. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6293 Apparently they show "Planet Earth" in Heaven. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6294 It's funny how many more guys like to watch T.V. now that we've invited the women. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6295 The hellish thing is they don’t have cable. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6296 All Zombies must be naked; and no vegans nor vegetarians are allowed. Blood on, my friends! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6297 Purgatory I Test Question: Lava or Magma? 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6298 After the Yule Log, my next favorite TV event is the Puppy Bowl 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
6299 They say the ad rate exceeds a million souls per minute! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
6300 If this turns out to be a reality show, you should know - I didn’t come here to make friends. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6301 I said, let's melt together and go down." "I should have been more specific. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6302 Sure wish we could watch a channel without flames! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6303 Fire and brimstone seems tame compared to the comments being tossed around on the political talk shows. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6304 Wanna Netflame and chill? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6305 It's his version of snow. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6306 Only suntan lotion and ice cream commercials. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
6307 Sometime's I do prefer the reruns. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
6308 Baggage claim in Vegas never gets old. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6309 the naked eunuch part i could get use to, it’s the basic cable that’s a bit much. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6310 It's getting cold in here! So put on all your clothes... (I am into it, i will put my clothes on) 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6311 Come Hell or High Water, we all are doomed. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6312 Maybe he has Netflix. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6313 Our next class is "Fully Clothed and Loving It!" 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6314 This is definitely hell. It's not even flat screen. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6315 Nice to see so many familiar faces...and bodies. 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
6316 Frankly, it's lazy and we can't make s'mores now. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6317 It’s the #1 show: so predictable, but still ‘must-watch’ tv. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6318 I'm cancelling my subscription to Netflix. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6319 The way things are going on up there I think we all made the right choices in life. 1.1373 0.06871 51 47 1 3
6320 Yes: Hell is now available on Netflix. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6321 Purgatory is cable, flat screen and color but no binging. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6322 At least you won't have to shave your legs any more. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6323 Caillou will return after a word from our sponsor. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6324 Don't try to change the channel. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6325 Next week I get to choose. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6326 This show is so unrealistic. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6327 That analog t.v. is horrific! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6328 We should be able to afford real fire now that we've cut the cord. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6329 At last, the hot chocolate 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6330 I guess it's only fair we should start as interns. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6331 Hah, seems cable has reached here yet, still with the rabbit ears. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6332 I hear it’s much more cost-effective this way. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6333 Not another "Naked and Afraid" marathon... 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6334 Oh no honey, the torture begins now. He knows Game of Thrones starts in 2 minutes. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6335 Newton Minow was right. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6336 We were responsible for canned closed circuit TV lectures for collage freshmen. Now we must face the fires of Hell - via closed circuit TV - for eternity. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6337 Who knew it would be all analog all the time? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6338 Anyone else think this show is pretty lit? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6339 That's all you get for eternity, re-runs of "Celebrity Apprentice." 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6340 Maybe if we ask nicely, he'll change the channel 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6341 When the preacher said fires of hell I was picturing something flashier." "This is just the orientation. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6342 " We are all destined to live in a virtual HELL". 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6343 This is actually my heaven believe it or not. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6344 The welcome brochure did promise punishing temperatures with light entertainment. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6345 Netflix has done it again. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6346 Oh, hell - I thought it was just a control tactic. How about you? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6347 What the hell - no cable? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6348 Be thankful they haven't figured out how to close-caption it in braille. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6349 I thought it would be worse down here. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6350 Let's hope that gas main break is irreparable 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6351 I'm having a flashback to when I lived in Pune.. Bhagwan had us do a similar exercise.. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6352 They say it’s becsuse of global warming. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6353 JUST LIKE THEY SAID: "PAVED WITH GOOED INVENTIONS"! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6354 There are so many people fired here that it rivals the Trump administration. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6355 Could be worse. I hear the folks in purgatory have to watch reruns of The Ghost Whisperer. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6356 Thanks to the "Art of the Deal" there's now a much longer line to get into Hell. But Jared and Ivanka are selling a VR package for those who just can't wait. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6357 This would be scarier in 4k 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6358 Oh, that devil! He still thinks he's in charge! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6359 It's like Father John Misty music video. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6360 Don't worry, he's just teasing us! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6361 Then again you can't have 100 percent security without a tad of inconvenience. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6362 I told you we’d regret canceling Netflix. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6363 There was a coin toss to see which of us would get Facebook. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6364 What really burns me is that he won't give us any clothes! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6365 I am absolutely tortured by a TV that still uses ‘rabbit ears’ for reception. And you? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6366 Of course it's Cox Cable. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6367 The good, the bad, the ugly...and the boring. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6368 Watching TV in hell, huh? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6369 Hell, brought to you by your local cable provider. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6370 I heard it was a controlled burn. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6371 Isn’t a little late for a “heaven or hell” sermon? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6372 You will have to put up with the fake fire. We are on a low budget. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6373 It's sort of a cross between Warhol's "Empire State" and the Channel 11 yule log. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6374 I know it’s pretty much all the same, but Thursday night’s lineup has really become ‘must-see’. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6375 He's calling it Virtual Reality TV. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6376 At least it’s not plasma. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6377 I can’t believe how much skin they can show on television now. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6378 Hell is out of date. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6379 They said the wait wouldn't be long. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6380 It’s half past eternity, isn’t it time for brimstone to come on? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6381 Got a light? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6382 It can't be that bad if we get to watch the Yule Log every day. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6383 On Christmas Day in Hell there is no Yule log. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6384 Apparently legal is dating the head of HR. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6385 Now if God asks, that's what happens 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6386 He says it's the only channel he catch down here, but I don't believe in him. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6387 So is this what he meant when he said. "The Global Warming Channel was on fire!" 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6388 WILL THIS REALLY SHOW US HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6389 For safety reasons, no flammable products can be brought into the Kingdom. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6390 Knew I should have been a firefighter instead of an accountant. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6391 Be loyal to that s.o.b. and you receive in return denudement and a 1950’s Sylvania. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6392 I thought at least they'd have cable! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6393 I wonder how much he had to pay Charon for this kind of reception 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6394 A beautiful place - very fiery to the soul 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6395 Should we all start wearing a trucker cap? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6396 One hour of this and we've got ourselves a plenary indulgence 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6397 Watch the safety video before we take off. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6398 I'm, OK with being naked, but no TV would definitely make me afraid. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6399 I'm stoked when reality TV puts me right into the action! 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6400 I heard the third layer has fire AND brimstone. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6401 Nothing is real here. That is the horror of damnation. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6402 This is taking the Yule Log to a whole new level. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6403 He thinks this is the tape that will get us on House Hunters. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6404 Just wait. This is just the warm up exercise. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6405 And no you can't watch any Stormy Daniels videos till Muller is done. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6406 At least we are away from all that body heat. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6407 Don't worry. It's just the trailer for "Hawaii". 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6408 I knew they wouldn't have HD. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6409 It's even worse than I imagined... no cable? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6410 That deals it. This is hell....no high def. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6411 Missed the memo, Hell upgraded to Version 2.0: Hell Virtual Reality (need to update the TV)! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6412 It really is a vast wasteland. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6413 I hear that Canada Goose is the sponsor for “When Hell Freezes Over” 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6414 And I thought daytime programming was hell. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6415 It is less hellish if we watch hell in B&W 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6416 This is really hell. A tube t.v. with lousy reception! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6417 Same brim fire, different day. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6418 Wonder what the welcome is like in heaven. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6419 He saves on his heating bill by turning on C-SPAN. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6420 The real punishment is that it’s not in hi-def. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6421 This video went viral on youtube last week. I expected Hell would do better than that. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6422 'it's a dress rehearsal after all" 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6423 to hell with flatscreen technology 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6424 But her emails. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6425 Flash media will burn your hide all the way down 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6426 OTA? No remote? Damn, this place really does suck. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6427 It makes me miss watching the yule log. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6428 Does the Netflix password work down here 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6429 Don't worry - that's just one of those fake fireplaces. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6430 You'd think they would at least upgrade the monitors for virtual hell. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6431 It's just something nice to have on in the background 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6432 A lousy timeshare presentation! I knew that all eternal damnation deal was too good to be true. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6433 You’d think he’d have nothing better to do than shop on Black Friday 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6434 I'm not mesmerized I followed to pick up girls. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6435 I hear in heaven they play reruns of The Office 24/7. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6436 Well at least they have the hottest shows here. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6437 The worst part is no phones, either. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6438 "Boy Meets Grill" 24/7? I told you Bobby Flay was Satan. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6439 I know it saves on fuel but I'm actually a bit cold! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6440 We account for nearly 100% of Fox News' views 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6441 I like this show. It's relatable. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6442 Fire retardant clothing optional. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6443 It's not bad enough we have to live it . We have to watch hell on TV also ? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6444 Who will win tonight's Race To Hell? Stay tuned... 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6445 That's one hell of a yule log. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6446 We're being punished for having been technophobes. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6447 These warmup acts are really hot! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6448 They only play the Trump/Clinton election in this room. We voted third party. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6449 At least the reality TV is better down here. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6450 Apparently, Satan says the White House has become Must See TV by leaping to the top of the Heinous Acts Chart. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6451 This is good. Next year its the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the White House Correspondents Dinner, and Shakespeare in the Park. What could go wrong? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6452 Doesn't look that hot. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6453 "The worse thing is we have to settle for cathode ray tubes.' 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6454 I knew we'd never get Dodgers games here. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6455 These budget cuts are getting ridiculous! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6456 Watching one of these old tube T.V.s is really Hell 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6457 In black and white too. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6458 Now, wait a minute. Didn't you say they'd have cable? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6459 I would have thought they had high definition flat screens here. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6460 I was expecting more production value. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6461 I don't know which is worse. The forecast or the rabbit ears. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6462 Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in...the sun shines in.... 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6463 Non-HDTV is hell! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6464 Audition for his latest TV production---Who's 'Hot'! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6465 Didn't I tell you ambient video was Hell? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6466 When I found out I was headed here I was hoping for a much better reception. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6467 So that's hell?-no HD? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6468 It's a definite upgrade here at Hell's Level 6, Level 7 is much hotter. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6469 Really? Rabbit ears? Where is Steve Jobs when you need him... 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6470 The porn down here is awful. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6471 You interested in a bit of coffee after we finish up here? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6472 You ever seen this one up there. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6473 This show is terrible, but it gets great ratings, so it's good. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6474 If he continues with this energy conservation stuff, I'm going to ask for a sweater. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6475 Well actually it's not technically a fire. You see a blue flame means... 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6476 Is it me or is it hot in here? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6477 You think that looks good, you should see it in HD. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6478 At least we don't have to watch Who's the Boss reruns. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6479 That AT&T-Time Warner merger probably won’t affect us. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6480 What happened, I missed the last episode of Spin of the Sin! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6481 It's really not too bad... in the next ring down they have to watch reruns of Lawrence Welk. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6482 The reception isn't that great here, is it? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6483 Ooooo good! We're just in time for the finale. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6484 Hell is actually better than Earth. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6485 You wanna roast marshmallows later? I've got S'mores on the brain. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6486 A perpetual Yule Log seems out of place down here. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6487 Oh, great. Another Fox fake news story! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6488 The TV has become the dummy box...look...they are a bunch of zombies! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6489 I went to Bard. Never thought I'd end up here. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6490 At least we'll finally learn the difference between UHF and VHF. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6491 It's not as awful as the yule log. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6492 It’s a new thing they're trying, Netflix and char. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6493 Is it Christmas again? So Soon? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6494 He’s so hot. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6495 And now you must watch nothing but reality tv for eternity!!! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6496 Black and white is Hell. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6497 This orientation is making me a little nervous. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6498 Looks like God was a lie, the real creator is the devil 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6499 “ . . . Yeah, it’s the hottest show on TV. My favorite characters are Glenn, Abraham & Carl . . . 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6500 So is he supposed to be Batman or Aquaman? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6501 Eve, TV has created Satan's biggest haul since the apple 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6502 It's better than the PowerPoint they used to do. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6503 This is SOME welcome video. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6504 Consider it a trade-off... Huge tax cut... No cable in Hell! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6505 Personally? I love not cooking with gas. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6506 It could be worse he could force us to watch CNN. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6507 yeah looks like we’re all white and obsessed with TV, even as vast human suffering blazes all around us. you’d think our punishment would reflect that somehow but, no, hell’s pretty tight 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6508 We sold our coal to the new administration and switched to the Yule Log channel. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6509 I've seen this video before...I was married to a Kardashian 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6510 "It's even worse in the 9th Circle -- 1080 pixels. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6511 They're saving brimstone for Sweeps Week. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6512 Just act natural. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6513 CSPAN is really pandering to millennials these days. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6514 Cable? In this place? No chance. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6515 For me the clothing-optional aspect made the choice more attractive that the lofty one with the wings 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6516 They're cutting down on the fuel bill that way. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6517 This show is getting really heated 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6518 The bird's nest and the tie made great kindling. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6519 It would look better on my high def screen. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6520 Reception's pretty good down here, but reports of collusion with the cable companies would seem to be exaggerated. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6521 Funny, I didn't think I'd miss the diäëresis eïther 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6522 The HD version really raises a sweat. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6523 They said if we watched we'd become desensitized, but hey, we're already here. Why worry? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6524 He shouldn't have told us to be sure to bring marshmallows. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6525 Did they have this TV last time we came to the DMV? 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6526 It’s all reruns all the time. That’s sort of the point. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6527 And I always thought watching TV was heaven. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6528 Did we pay five-grand for a rabbit ear experience ? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6529 Welcome to the 'Remote-hogger' room. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6530 I was in the pool 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6531 The thing that shocks me most about hell so far is that the devil apparently has an ab roller. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6532 Figures they don't have HD. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6533 "Where you're going is not a nudist camp.So get your fig leafs". 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6534 This is hell. No 4K resolution. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6535 I hear that in Heaven, everyone gets their own flat screen tv. 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6536 I just knew hell would be in SD. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6537 "Down here it's called 'Grim Reality TV' ". 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6538 It's hell having no cable. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6539 This is hell, no cable! 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6540 You'll be the ultimate in "Reality TV"! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6541 I always had nightmares of going to hell and be cursed to watch TV commercials for eternity. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6542 It's all part of his focus on saving energy, but he should have sprung for a color TV. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6543 No remote and no cable? This is definitely hell. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6544 And this is what we call a bloody TV... 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6545 No, that's not the Yule log. It's actually Fox News 24/7. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6546 This must be hell. That is not an HD TV. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6547 They said the revolution would not be televised, but who knew that hell would be. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6548 You said, "when hell freezes over." It has, that's just a VCR of the old days. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6549 This is one hell of a timeshare pitch. Analog is all the rage right now. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6550 And you thought the reception at Tiffany Goldblatt's Bat Mitzvah was unbearable. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6551 I love the orientation video ! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6552 He's trying to save on his gas bill. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6553 This is a very bad , bad cartoon , very bad choise you made to run this cartoon 1.1333 0.06816 45 41 2 2
6554 I guess 'Netflix and chill' is out of the question... 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6555 It's part of FEMA's new more inclusive plan to improve coastal evacuation routes from nude beaches.. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6556 "Good to know I have a friend by my side". 1.1316 0.05557 38 33 5 0
6557 Gorilla Channel is next. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6558 There must be some mistake; my only sin was channel-surfing. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6559 Figured they'd have 4K. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6560 its the premier of "clothed and secure" 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6561 This is like one of those instructional videos you get when you start a new job 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6562 Welcome to Hell. Unfortunately, due to some Papal confusion, our orientation session today is cancelled until further notice. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6563 Well, at least we get unlimited screen time. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6564 I was God all along. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6565 I'll switch to Fox&Friends if you keep complaining. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6566 The usual place? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6567 Are you dateable? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6568 Oooh this is the steamy part. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6569 I didn't know what to expect when he said "this show is lit" 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6570 I expected the eternal flames, but that TV will be hell 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6571 I guess Satan really wants that LEED certification! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6572 Let’s blow this popsicle stand. 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
6573 You wouldn’t listen! I told you your idea was half baked! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6574 I was sure it would be something by Cassavetes. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6575 The picture quality is disappointing. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6576 Glad we didn't make the "A-List". 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6577 ...those sundays at the church getting everytime a little weirder. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6578 Should I ask him to change the channel? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6579 Compliance training... 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6580 It's the latest thing from Apple. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6581 Oh shoot, I forgot my 3-D glasses. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6582 He picked up Purgatory for a song during the last crash. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6583 Tuesday, right? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6584 No wifi, and some idiot told him to cut the cord. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6585 The worst thing is it's only in black and white. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6586 Unfortunately, it shows political campaign commercials 24/7. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6587 On the bright side, you've made it to one of the 'special places' here. 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
6588 No wonder his ratings are in the pits. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6589 I pretend to understand the nuance of this series so people will think I am smart. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6590 Are these the tryouts for the "The Hellfire and Damnation" Reality Show? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6591 All nudes, all the time. It's hell. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6592 It's worse than I thought, Hell is only in black and white.......OR......No you can't sit on my shoulders, I'm already on tiptoes 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6593 The devilution will be televised. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6594 It's an unnecessary PSA, but they don't want anyone caught without their pants down. It causes too many heated arguments. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6595 I love their break-out groups. It's their damn name tag sticker that burns me up. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6596 When my brother-in-law gets here he’s gunna want to switch to the Laker game 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6597 SNHell cold open 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6598 This outdated television has only two channels, and we won't be getting the High Water Channel. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6599 Should we tell him about cable? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6600 We're the hot topic today! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6601 This is definitely not living color. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6602 So, even in hell movies are dubbed in German? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6603 Ha! Boob tube. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6604 They say it alternates between Trump news, coverage of Gaza, and a fireplace 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6605 Unfortunately, you're absolutely right, this means the latest media coverage of the kleagle and the ill-informed and confused collaborators continues. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6606 I think I'll wait for the hi-def. 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
6607 It’s not TV, it’s hbo. 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6608 Watch him freak - I've got a genuine 1978 Zenith remote control between my cheeks. Ready? Hello Fantasy Island! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6609 I heard that there were some budget cuts last month. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6610 Fake news from Gina! 1.1277 0.06535 47 43 2 2
6611 I can take the fire safety video, but did we come all the way down here to watch a 1980s TV? 1.1277 0.06535 47 43 2 2
6612 Wow, That's Must Watch TV. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6613 I heard that Beelzebub does a cameo as the owner of a robocall center. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6614 Is this peak TV? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6615 No High Def? This really is hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6616 Satan needs to update his technology. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6617 We’re going to hell, not Westworld 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6618 Don't you just hate watching TV that's not hi-def flat screen. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6619 New here? On this level we are the laugh track on sitcoms for eternity. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6620 One minute you’re wat Hong Project Runway ,’ and now this. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6621 Well... not exactly Fire and Brimstone... is it ?? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6622 It's an FCC equal-time thing because of those damn Yule logs around Christmas. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6623 I know this was speed dating but we’re moving very fast 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6624 I think he said that this is reality TV. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6625 At least it isn't 4K 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6626 You can't miss the beginning. Your whole life is in front of you. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6627 At least there are no subtitles. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6628 Next year they'll have virtual reality for this 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6629 I never noticed your great buns 'til I saw them on TV. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6630 I knew we shouldn't have used that Yule log video 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6631 I’ve never been more ready for a devil’s food cooking show. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6632 The product's got a certain zing but the advertising cries out for individuation. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6633 Fire drill on cake 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6634 No yule log, no puppies. This is torture. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6635 Do you want to leave and watch the royal wedding instead?... It looks more exciting. o 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6636 Hope we'll be able to binge view the next million years or so. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6637 now, we have limited channels. so this will be your entertainment. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6638 You’d think they’d pop for a flat screen! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6639 Go home Lori, this is my one day away from the kids. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6640 Were you expecting Fox and Friends? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6641 Boy I thought we had it bad down here 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6642 Last week's "campfire flame" episode was much better. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6643 It's slow TV, but it helps to pass the time. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6644 "I heard they changed the 'Welcome to Hell' session to video to reduce costs". 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6645 Budget cuts are always Hell, but this low budget virtual heat is ridiculous. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6646 they respond better to screens 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6647 I miss the old Indian-head test pattern. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6648 Well, it sure beats watching those re-runs of Mr. Ed. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6649 It’s not the worst timeshare presentation I’ve seen, but it’s the most strict. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6650 it’s the only channel they get over the air 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6651 Just my luck, it’s not even HD! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6652 Why is CNN broadcasting a burning dumpster behind that White House. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6653 Hellishly low tech. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6654 I supposed Santa didn't bring him a new TV for Christmas. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6655 Do you think the view out the window tells us anything? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6656 We lost the remote, and yes I checked my pockets. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6657 The Devil made me look at them all. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6658 I heard the brimstone thing was all for show. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6659 I think I've seen this one, do you think we can change the channel? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6660 It's the golden age of television. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6661 They’ve got us hypnotized down here with only fake news, but is it really fake? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6662 You get Berle, test pattern, and no remote. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6663 What a bunch of tits. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6664 Glad I didn’t sign up for all the sessions; this conference looks really dull. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6665 Satan's TV sucks. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6666 global warming means that Hell will never freeze over. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6667 It's so thoughtful of him to have subscribed to the Fireplace Channel this Christmas! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6668 THERE ARE NO CABLE TV IN HELL 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6669 So, Satan killed the radio star? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6670 TV in hell?! Sweet! I hope they have Netflix! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6671 I thought there was Netflix. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6672 Is this all making sense, Doug? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6673 What burns me more, frankly, is giving away everything in the preview. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6674 This show is boring, meet me at the bar. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6675 This is just orientation, the next phase has the same program on a Jumbotron! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6676 This is definitely hell! No flat screen TV, no cable. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6677 With a political landscape like that, this place doesn't seem too bad after all. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6678 It's an Emmy nominated series. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6679 I was afraid there'd be no HD down here. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6680 It’s all Netflix and chill these days. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6681 So this is what they mean by "digital hell" ! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6682 Eat your heart out, Newt Minow. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6683 They say he's gone green - wants to save the forests. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6684 I liked the burning Yule log better 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6685 I see the reception is not very welcoming. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6686 I guess they never said the de-evolution would not be televised. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6687 I'm surprised there's antenna reception down here. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6688 All he ever plays is this endless tape about Prada shoes. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6689 The TV's a little grainy, isn't it? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6690 Turns out cable really was hell on earth. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6691 Thank God for all the lawyers. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6692 i enjoy the commercials the most 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6693 I've always felt the 'fake news' is even scarier... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6694 Just wait-I know they’ll tease us to no end with iced tea commercials... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6695 Hell is other people. And the Yule log. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6696 Had I known all the benefits of reducing emissions, I probably wouldn't have ended up here. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6697 You'd think they'd at least have HD. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6698 ''this is orientation; next is big screen, then virtual goggles...then c'est la vie" 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6699 This is the only channel we've got. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6700 I thought we'd be watching The View. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6701 Because on his deathbed, Roger Ebert specifically said, 'the entire cast of Caligula'. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6702 They've just started this Pizza Hut orientation video. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6703 I'm appealing, ' Thou shalt not watch hot kinky porn', is definitely not a commandment. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6704 It's our attempt to fight global warming. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6705 If I'd known this involved watching "Godzilla" for 10,000 years, I'd have behaved a little better. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6706 I didn't expect to be chilly down here. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6707 hey, what're you doing after class? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6708 LIMERICK: The camera went clickity click...An epic photography pic...If it all turns out well...NAKED PEOPLE IN HELL...The last Spencer Tunick. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6709 Don't you just love high definition television? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6710 I'm frankly disappointed about media's self-absorption widespread 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6711 I'm just waiting for my change to change the saturation settings 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6712 And he said at some point in the next millennium,we may even get brimstone in HD! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6713 Sometimes I miss being flame-kissed. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6714 Watching that old clunker is virtual hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6715 I figured there would be more commercials. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6716 What Not to Wear reruns? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6717 This would be cooler in HD. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6718 The travel agent assured me we wouldn't get burned. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6719 Yes, this is everything the cable companies promised you when you snipped the cord. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6720 Its like sporting matches, I prefer to watch on TV as opposed to being there. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6721 Rabbit ears! Mean spirited, but a deft metaphor. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6722 I hear we'll 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6723 There's nothing virtual about this boredom. Let's chant, "Make experience REAL again!" 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6724 It just figures that there are no flat screen TVs in hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6725 I'll bet they don't have fake news down here 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6726 It’s weird how no one ever guessed that T.V. could be bad for you. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6727 At least they could give us a couch 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6728 This reminds me of the fire drill at my old office. It was hell there too. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6729 It’s not the yule log. I bet you thought that by telling the naked truth upstairs that you would be delivered from evil and not to it. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6730 Hey Mark, looks like it’s that cold day in Hell we’ve heard so much about.” “Ha.....ha... grow up Janice 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6731 No Smart Screen TV Hell for you. Sorry. NOT! This is Hell, after all. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6732 I remember when we got three channels. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6733 I always enjoyed the televised Yule log. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6734 It's not that bad. At least they gpt the place air-conditioned. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6735 It’s an Obama ruling, but Pruitt wants the gas back on. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6736 Now let's ask for an air conditioner. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6737 This truly is hell; 500 channels all with the same show. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6738 THIS is CNN.... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6739 “It’s not even touch screen” Millennial Hell 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6740 Very effective for eternal damnation - it's not even HD. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6741 This is sheer purgatory 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6742 Lemme tell you, hellfire would burn much brighter with a proper HD TV and high-speed internet. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6743 It’s just like life before, just without the taxes. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6744 Does Bushwick do safe words? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6745 Federal funding cuts have hit even the heating budget and he can't even afford a real fire. Still, on the bright side, I much prefer mildly warm to burning in hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6746 They have Netflix - he just won’t turn it over. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6747 So that's what they mean by 'Deviled Eggs.' 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6748 This is still waaay better than watching Teen Mom... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6749 Looks like Highway to Heaven has been canceled. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6750 It's an old set. Next room's virtual reality. Then comes reality. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6751 I used to love watching the Yule log for hours. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6752 You know, trickle down's not so bad when applied to flames and eternal damnation . . . 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6753 They said that we couldn’t get HD service here. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6754 It was really like that before He cut the hell out of his his budget. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6755 Purgatory watches c-span. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6756 They couldn't even spring for a plasma? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6757 I used to do triathlons, but I now find metaphysical tests more fulfilling. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6758 Hmm. So they don't have HDTV here yet, but you'd think cable would have arrived. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6759 And they call this hell? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6760 I thought we were in hell? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6761 Why is it I'm the only one naked? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6762 Wow, he left the Crockpot on... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6763 Things are getting better. It used to be re-runs of M*A*S*H. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6764 New series. It's a pilot. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6765 I cant wait to see the season finale. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6766 I guess ol Beezlebub was never organized enough to institute a tithe? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6767 He said he wants to Make Hell Great Again and all we are going to get to wear are red ball caps. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6768 He refuses to switch to the HD feed. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6769 It’s a live feed from the seventh circle. Evidently he gets a fuel tax credit. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6770 We simply followed the lyrics in that song...you know, 'It's gettin' hot in here so take off all your clothes...' 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6771 I think there's something we need to protect 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6772 my microwave had a better picture than that 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6773 I don't mind being naked but no cable is the real torture. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6774 It our news, we get coverage of the other side of Pele's wrath on the Big Island. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6775 The only other time I looked forward to commercials this much was during the Super Bowl. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6776 Everyone here was involved with the Clinton campaign or worked on Capitol Hill. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6777 This show jumped the shark centuries ago. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6778 Hell, if this is their way of saving heating energy, I am going back to heaven. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6779 Next stop is "Fake Hell". Stand clear of the closing doors, please. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6780 liar liar, pants on fire. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6781 Washington does things differently nowadays. This is our 'group' physical to find out if you are eligible for cheap Health Insurance. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6782 Please change the channel. I beg you. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6783 In the inner circle, they have to watch Netflix. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6784 Well it is hell but the TV is better here! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6785 I get that he's taking creative liberties, but the originals were only good because they stayed true to the source. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6786 Televised yule logs used to be much more comforting. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6787 Due to recent controversy of our practices, we are now required to provide you with a safe space and an informative video on acceptable behavior in the workplace. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6788 Watch this for eternity. Now you know the definition of HELL! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6789 This TV and Dr. Faust's dude, make me feel like a blind man in a nudist colony. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6790 That looks nice. I'm sort of warming up to this place. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6791 So there's no cable? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6792 Actually, this really IS fine. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6793 Welcome to reality-TV hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6794 He just wants to give us a visual on heartburn. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6795 Ladies first! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6796 Tell me he didn't throw my Brunello Cucinelli in there. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6797 For rabbit ears, that picture's terrific. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6798 The White House Tour just isn't what it used to be. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6799 I never really appreciated Slow TV before. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6800 They're called rabbit ears. I guess they don't get cable down here. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6801 I haven't seen an attena like that since you were my baby bunny rabbit 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6802 Lord I really HATE those summer replacement series 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6803 I actually prefer this to I Love Lucy reruns. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6804 I never thought we'd get our own 'Real Housewives.' 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6805 Johnny Carson says, “It’s so Hot, the Weather Station advised viewers to drop their laundry.” 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6806 Until the next badgeof lawyers comes down, we're on a low budget. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6807 told you. it's the same everywhere... 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6808 The circle below us gets ‘Friends’ re-runs—Joey-heavy episodes! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6809 There’s no way in hell they couldn’t afford VR headsets. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6810 I didn’t realize all this was included with the higher co-pay. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6811 How much crueler and unusual could it get than low-def TV? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6812 Judge Judy has really jumped the shark. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6813 You'd think that if we're forced to watch reruns of the apocalypse, that dude would turn on some heat......brrrr! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6814 We'e had much better response to this than the old "Sin and Burn" routine. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6815 The network wanted a kinder, gentler host for the Apprentice reboot. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6816 I play this DVD every Christmas Eve. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6817 Not having the internet is what burns me! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6818 This is the Hell for people who never paid their cable bills on-time. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6819 He wants us to find the remote. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6820 Personally, I like the show about the lemmings better. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6821 Those beer commercials are downright cruel. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6822 I’ve always wanted to spend Christmas in hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6823 Apparently, we misunderstood when he asked us if we wanted to see the fire station. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6824 I'm pretty sure I'm here because I misidentified the chardonnay we were drinking at a party last week. How about you? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6825 I guess heating Hades was getting to be pure hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6826 Looks like we are in the wrong terminal 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6827 The real hell is that they don't have HD here. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6828 Fire and brimstone for all eternity, fine. But that laugh track is a real turn-off. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6829 Flame grilled burgers for dinner, Hell Yeah! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6830 Soylent Green is People! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6831 We should have stuck with Cotton. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6832 The revolution will not be televised. For your part, you will be expected to burn, baby, burn. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6833 Personally, I like Season 4 of "Inferno" better. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6834 I hope no one expected Hell to have cable. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6835 How ironic, cigarette commercials carry warnings and the show doesn't. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6836 This is boring, but the only other channel just has people with clothes on. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6837 Really, Backdraft??!! This really is Hell! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6838 How come his antenna has three arms? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6839 It's the screening of the "Phantom Thread" 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6840 Hey! What’s on? Is it the 24-hour Christmas Yule Log Channel? Is it? Huh? Is it? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6841 Reminds me of the first time we did it. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6842 I don't think this Amazon Fire TV Stick is gonna get me to cut the cord. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6843 I appreciate the efforts to acclimatize us. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6844 It's still better than the reality show's up on earth. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6845 Com on, when to work for the networks, you knew you'd wind up here one day. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6846 Isn't this a rerun? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6847 They are showing Tom Hanks' Inferno again? This really must be hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6848 Looks like Lucifer is on a tighter budget, what with the legacy technology and the scrimping on fuel. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6849 No being able to watch the mandatory brimstone burning in HD is killing me. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6850 It took me a second to realize that was Gaza. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6851 I don't know why the rabbit ears are on the top of the TV Linda, go ask our host. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6852 Climate change has an affect on all of us. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6853 This is secretly the best season. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6854 I heard this movie is really hot, but no nudity. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6855 Christmas already? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6856 See, I told you global warming wasn't real. Hell proves it. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6857 ‘Reality TV in hell, hey?’ ‘Tell me about it, but at least the Emperor’s given us new clothes’ 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6858 Wait until you see the commercials. These shows are sponsored by politicians- all the ads are political ads. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6859 Black and White TV,Rabbit Ears you don't need any other signs you're in hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6860 To be fair, I always said holidays at my place were pretty much like this place. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6861 Best sizzle reel in the business. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6862 This isn't how I envisioned making the cast of "Naked and Afraid." 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6863 Can you believe they're still using coal and CRTs? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6864 If this is the Rapture, I hope they leave some fireproof boots 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6865 I heard that they have flat screens in purgatory. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6866 Oh Devil, the quality's under 480p this really is hell. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6867 It's Hell's newest option: broil. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6868 The first one who lowers their eyes comes with me. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6869 I wish the commercials were longer. The baseball games are eternally painful. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6870 The orientation video is okay but the ads are interminable! 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6871 I'm a sucker for anything flame-broiled! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6872 I can almost feel the warmth. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6873 It's not even in HD. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6874 Are you sure you'd rather go back? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6875 It's called "tele-Hell." All due to Satan's budget cuts down here. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6876 High tech sure isn't one of his evils. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6877 We've been doing it this way since the Great Fire of '04. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6878 It's just a yule log video? This is hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6879 This is hell for techies. You're looking for the hell for crafters. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6880 Any ideas on smuggling sunscreen? 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6881 I like these new health and safety regulations 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6882 It's like Rajneeshpuram but for hell-bound venture capitalists. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6883 It's worse in the seventh ring of Hell, infomercials... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6884 I watch Fox because I give a damn. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6885 It's either this or Judge Judy. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6886 You might want the hallo, but you will all get the HELLo. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6887 Actually, I always enjoyed a nice fire...until I accidentally killed my camping buddy. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6888 Talk about phoning it in... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6889 Welcome to Israhell 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6890 It's the Temptations' greatest hits, again. And again, and again. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6891 Last night I dreamed I was walking around in public completely clothed ... it was weird as heaven! 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6892 Watching it with my in-laws at Christmas was more hellish. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6893 Mary, schedule a Lessons Learned meeting for 2 o' clock. 1.1190 0.06986 42 39 1 2
6894 I asked for Fire TV, but Amazon doesn't deliver down here. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6895 I didn't think Peyton Place would finish like this. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6896 Reruns of the Cosby show, this really is hell. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6897 I’ve always loved the Yule Log. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6898 Clients at the Kileaua Shangri-La Retreat Center reconsider their decision. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6899 I am so tired of Netflix I could scream. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6900 Can we all chip in for cable? 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6901 I'm surprised he doesn't have cable. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6902 Hi... my name’s Tom. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6903 When will they learn that you can't replace a soulless narrative with more CGI? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6904 We should've stuck with cable. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6905 And the next show will probably be the "Garden of Eden". 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6906 Oh goodie, the TV test pattern marathon begins in 5 minutes. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6907 Welcome to the eternal fireplace -- on loop! (Damn you, budget cuts!) 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6908 Hell has become less demonic and more democratic. It was this, or Fox News. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6909 What’s most surprising is that it’s not a flat screen. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6910 The main Hell is full of VIPs, this is the overflow room where we commoners can watch the action on TV. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6911 A thousand channels and no remote. This IS Hell! 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6912 Very low-tech virtual reality, but hey, this is Hell, so what could we expect? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6913 No flat screens for sinners. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6914 Is it hot in here or is it just hell? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6915 There's been a slight delay. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6916 What do we do if he expects a tip? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6917 With a crowd this size, you'd think they would provide a big screen orientation. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6918 Ok, I get why there's no kitchen, but have you ever met anyone from Hell's Cable? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6919 That melting ice looks great 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6920 We could have better options on clothing if they would get cable. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6921 Oh Boy, I miss California 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6922 I’m tellin’ ya Marsha, there is no way in hell it’s that hot. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6923 It’s about sustainability. We all have to take part. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6924 That's right. 'I'm Dickens...He's Fenster' for the rest of eternity. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6925 Do you know how long until lunch? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6926 I guess when Trump told the Tree Huggers to go to hell, they took him literally. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6927 I hope this is an episode of 'Naked and Afraid'. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6928 We’re better off down here! 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6929 He really does wear Prada. And binges Game of Thrones. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6930 I thought Florida had more beaches. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6931 I was in the pool 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6932 We can only receive one channel in Hell. Satan calls it, Painfully Banal Stupidity. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6933 Standard definition TV is hell. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6934 This guy is all hat, no cattle. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6935 you'd think they would have cable 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6936 Not fake news again?! 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6937 Having to watch this on a tube TV scares me more than the video. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6938 Nobody wants to miss the coming attractions. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6939 Johnson! Your spelling is as rough as a hand up the butt! 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6940 "Warmth"...(Advertising propaganda for the nudist colony might work!) 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6941 I’m guessing the HSN is out... 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6942 Its not even digital let alone HD. He can't expect us watch this 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6943 Remind me, which one is the devil?? 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6944 Analog didn’t sin! 1.1163 0.06827 43 40 1 2
6945 Wow! this is Hell - nothing but cooking shows...! 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6946 I wonder when they'll upgrade to V.R. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6947 There is Backdraft in the afterlife. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6948 I hoped you enjoyed the devilish documentary, Lucy. Because you will be here in 30 years. 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6949 And I thought the book was scary! 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6950 So, the Third Circle punishes Gluttony, which Satan interprets as including binge-watching "Breaking Bad." The fire isn't even real-time streaming, and the rabbit ears fall off every few minutes. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6951 No cable. Just a direct feed from the Infowars channel. 1.1163 0.06827 43 40 1 2
6952 Wouldn’t you think they would at least have a smart TV? V? 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6953 Yeah, you’re with the Episcopalians. We have to watch it on television. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6954 I’m sure they’ll get Fox New downhill here. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6955 When I said I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6956 It's better live than on TV 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6957 Gotta love the nude news! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6958 Hawaii doesn't look so good 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
6959 ELVIS shot the television, now we only get the simpsons..... 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6960 You should see the brimstone. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6961 Hell is far worse than I ever imagined. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6962 Crackling fireplaces, better than group orgies. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6963 I wonder whether they get the NFL down here? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6964 Don’t bother. There are no emergency exits. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6965 This is the commercial. Our entertainment is reality shows! 1.1081 0.05175 37 33 4 0
6966 Not very impressive. He doesn't even have cable. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6967 Feast your eyes on what will soon feast on you! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6968 It's hell -- no cable TV or streaming services. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6969 So I guess there really is a special place in Hell for people who hate yule log. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6970 I always said orientations are hell. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6971 Somehow I was expecting a toaster. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6972 The revolution will not be televised 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6973 If this were shown on flatscreen in HD 4K, you’d me more worried. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6974 I hear it did really well in the upfronts. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6975 prior week 5/14 i’ll give you that he’s artificial but no way are you two AI, got it! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6976 Don't worry. CNN is always fake news. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6977 Right, hell will be televised, but that's not new news when you watch CNN or Fox. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6978 Seriously? They don't have flat screen TV here yet? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6979 I was skeptical of the TV yule log, but it's all very festive. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6980 Commercials for eternity, could be worse the guys on the other level have PSA's. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6981 I can't believe how happy to be here in pergatory. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6982 It said, “ Preheat oven to 975 degrees, then bake three or five for two hours until trident comes out clean.” 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6983 Do you think Heaven gets a better channel? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6984 What fresh Hell is this? Rabbit ears? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6985 This wasn’t exactly the hot topic I had in mind... 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6986 Looks like reality TV finally lost its appeal. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6987 He's saving fuel -- watching TV anymore feels like the seventh circle of hell, all fire and fury. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6988 This is it. This is what all my life's sins are worth. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6989 As a cost savings measure, the Evil One made this level of hell just for cable subscribers. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6990 This isn't so bad, but the commercials... 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6991 Hell isn't very high tech—no cable or flat screen. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6992 Good news is I hear next week we finally upgrade to cable 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6993 We were born naked, who knew that we die naked on the hellevison? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6994 And I hear the reception is not so good here, either. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6995 I was ready for torture not pilot season. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6996 What! That cheapskate Satan doesn't even have cable! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6997 If one more person says they were expecting the flames to be in HD... 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
6998 I hear the only channel you can get is the local community tv station 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
6999 I wish someone would turn the AC down! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7000 If I knew the screen would be in black and white. I would of worn red. If I had known the screen was in black and white I would have worn red. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7001 It jumped the shark in the 2,467,000,000,000,000th season. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7002 McLuhan. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7003 I love these travelog programs 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7004 the resolution on that tv is hell - it's like they don't even want us to enjoy eternal torture 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7005 This better not be another one of his improv reels 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7006 I told you we should have brought the tanning oil! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7007 A lot of people don’t know, brimstone is a leading contributor to global greenhouse gas emissions. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7008 We're naked but watching a TV with rabbit ears? That's a Hell of a deal. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7009 Ever burning yet never consumed. Just like the Yule log! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7010 Virtual reality is Hell -- or is it the other way around? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7011 Too bad we didn't make the cut for Heaven. I hear it gets all the cable channels, basic and premium. premium. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7012 Suppose he will get mad if I ask for an air conditioner? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7013 ME TOO HOT really changed this place. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7014 Channel 666 looks hotter than Hell! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7015 His movies just don’t fire me up the way they used to. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7016 We are briefed why the dress code here. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7017 This is hell. Eternity, and no remote. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7018 Once in a while they show re-runs of Duck Dynasty 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7019 The naked truth about plasma physics. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7020 I hope Howdy Doody is on next. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7021 I guess hell is a relative concept. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7022 I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO SEE " BLACK PANTHER" 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7023 This IS horrible. They don't even have basic cable! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7024 A room full of cable company execs and we get this. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7025 Nudity and an old TV? Looks like heaven on earth to me! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7026 Figures, no Fortnite. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7027 I saw this one when it first came out. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7028 I hope they have a news channel. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7029 Never thought of global warming have an effect down here, too. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7030 This is hell. No "Game of Thrones. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7031 Should we address the hellephant in the room? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7032 Save my spot while I go grab a beer. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7033 Today we stand on our own two feet; tomorrow it's all interlaced signals. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7034 I took it literally when you said you wanted to heat things up, Carol. Let's give it 'til intermission. If we try to leave now we might be chosen for the sacrifice. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7035 Digitization does have its advantages. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7036 Geez, I guess everything's on TV now." 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7037 No... I'm upset because you watched this episode without me while I was at work. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7038 The Yule Log 24/7. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7039 So this is where they focus group new Kevin James sitcoms 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7040 Its an ad. Skin wars is up next. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7041 Sean Hannity 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7042 They're live streaming the results of the midterms. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7043 This is a bit too infernal to binge-watch. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7044 Ya'know I heard ever since they started fracking, the Brimstone price has just shot up. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7045 Is that a cold rain, or a warm rain? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7046 I agree this new Hellivision is a lot cooler, but you have to weigh that against having to stand still for all eternity. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7047 Is this a rerun of last night's fire? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7048 I thought the eternal fire of hell would hurt more, I'm not feeling anything now. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7049 Why can't we have a real fire? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7050 I think it is time to relinquish my SAG card... 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7051 You all are going to fry in hell! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7052 This is the only channel we've got. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7053 interest in the community is up... they are now selling FIG leaves on the Home Shopping Network! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7054 I hope they don't upgrade to satellite or cable anytime soon. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7055 Man, you'd think they'd at least have cable down here. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7056 I hate these watch parties. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7057 Still better than the White House. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7058 See? We are allowed to have our emotional support dolls at work. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7059 I don't see why the heat bill isn't the priority here. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7060 C-Span 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7061 At least we can binge-watch eternally. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7062 are you seeing what i'm seeing? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7063 Finally, someone who knows how to use the Firebox. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7064 I guess the hotspot's not working. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7065 There goes our hope of being able to watch cable TV in the afterlife 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7066 Baudrillatd, would you care to explain? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7067 Do you get the feeling we are going back in time? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7068 At least this is better than the static. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7069 The Hawaii volcano swallowed up Satan’s fire. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7070 The Oculus headsets are on back order. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7071 This part's gone on for an eternity, don't you think? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7072 Appears the reception here has both positives and negatives..... 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7073 Bolivia Eleven is reserved for those with bad taste in television programming. I've made it through Season 649 so far. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7074 The rumor is he has a little one. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7075 For starters, sitcoms are forbidden. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7076 Welcome to Hell! The first thing you should know is reruns of Touched By An Angel are available here but, if watched, they'll extend the length of time you'll spend in eternity! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7077 We had some cutbacks due to the number of scumbags in 2018 but visualize the flames. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7078 Next up on the Bachelor... 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7079 Can I call you? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7080 Oh...the devile does wear Prada. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7081 Really, they expect us to watch analog TV? They've got a hell of a lot of nerve! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7082 Hellavan introduction! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7083 I've seen this one before. It has a hell of a twist! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7084 A public burning on tv for wearing a thong seems excessive. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7085 Day three of the flame fanner strike...negotiation room must be getting heated. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7086 AND there's no cable?!? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7087 I never thought I’d say this, but I wish we had a FastPass to Hell. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7088 When Satan said "Netflix and chill", I didn't think it'd be like this. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7089 I hear the heating bill was through the roof. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7090 Thanks to that global warming, I hear we are going to Earth. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7091 Yes, we’re all atheists. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7092 Damn...they don't have high-def TV 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7093 Shut up! We don't have a budget for a VR upgrade! 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7094 Yep. All televisions have to be tuned to Fox News. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7095 I just knew that the burning Yule Log video was not something Santa sent us. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7096 But my curriculum vitae was for Paradisio... 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7097 I love recess. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7098 Do you think they get Fox News? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7099 My worst fear - rabbit ears. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7100 No time sharing in my resort. You’re gonna be 100% in. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7101 We should really invest in cable TV... 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7102 If they go digital I quit. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7103 These trade wars lead to all kinds of shortages. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7104 No chestnuts; that's the Hell part. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7105 I figured they would at least have V.R. down here. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7106 Do you want to Netflix and burn later? 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7107 Apparently they just switched to Fios. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7108 Hi, I'm Mike Krzyzewski. What's your name? 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7109 I like to ease people into it. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7110 Standard def?! Yep... hell. 1.1026 0.04922 39 35 4 0
7111 Who'd think the Yule Log Channel would be the 9th Circle of Hell 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7112 I guess hell is having to watch the Yule Log forever. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7113 It won't live up to the preview. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7114 I stripped naked and walked all this way to stare, but not into the fire! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7115 They call this Hell 2.0 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7116 This sure beats the real thing from what I have heard! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7117 What a quack, Eve! An apple a day?!? 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7118 now that net neutrality is out of the way, feast your eyes on this! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7119 Yeah he's here to punish us for what we did, but he really hates the idea of his job contributing to global warming. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7120 Exactly like I imagined this place: no cable. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7121 No cable TV, welcome to hell. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7122 He says he sprung for a cable package but I don't trust the dude. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7123 close the door 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7124 “What a crock! A nudist colony, with entertainment from Disney. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7125 Did I miss Next-Week-On-Roseanne? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7126 I still think I should of worn my Bow Tie 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7127 We couldn't afford a mobile or cable plan, so part of hell will be shown via public television. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7128 I hate this advertisement! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7129 Must be the price of oil 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7130 See, I told you! Everyone's cut the cord! 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7131 I guess the absolution will not be televised. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7132 I hear the next 1,000 years it's all "Galactica." 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7133 Don’t believe it, it’s fake news! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7134 Color TV was just a fad. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7135 Is it me or are these training videos really long? 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7136 Although unexpected, it's sort of like the televised Yule Log fire around the Xmas holidays. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7137 It wouldn't truly be Hell without reality TV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7138 Bunny ears- It’s a cold day in Hell. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7139 Get me Avenatti! 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7140 The carbon offsets were hurting his image 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7141 This must be how they find the pyromaniacs. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7142 The orientation video. Magic! I've seen it a billion times. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7143 Shouldn't He be wearing a trucker cap? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7144 He's already behind on his rent payment for my building #666. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7145 I'm not about to search for the remote? 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7146 Yule log looks better from down here. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7147 The real hell of this place is being forced to watch that eternal yule log. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7148 Being on "Naked and Afraid" was actually scarier for me. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7149 Thanks be to Satan, it's another "Spare the Air" day. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7150 Psst...I think we might've gotten the short end of the stick compared to the 5,000 upstairs eating loaves and fishes while clothed. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7151 Only Satan would enjoy watching other men shrink. He's the real deal! 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7152 Its part of his new strategy to go all digital in 2018 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7153 They call this damnation "eternal" but the TV isn't even static. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7154 At least it's commercial-free broadcasting. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7155 I wonder if there is a Q & A session after this on boarding video. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7156 This is probably the largest institution whose technology you don't _want_ to see updated. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7157 Was there any spoiler alert? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7158 They were right- this IS the hottest show on TV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7159 Damned re-run. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7160 Forced to watch the yule log through eternity is way worse than the flames. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7161 It's just another day at the office. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7162 I love weekends 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7163 Ooh, it’s the new season of ‘The Real Housewives of the Seventh Circle’! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7164 It's just a teaser. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7165 You realize that this will be far more realistic when we upgrade to UHD? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7166 Reruns of the fire last week. Man, this really is hell. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7167 MephisTrumpolese, Lord of the Underworld and by the way - the entire universe, says to call it DirectfromHellTV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7168 Turns out I was right, stand definition is hell. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7169 Walk south until you see it, then east until you can feel it. Then you’re home. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7170 God, it's like a sauna in here! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7171 Low def TV?! Now this is torture. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7172 I thought at least we'd get "Seinfeld" reruns 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7173 liar liar, pants on fire. 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7174 I actually don't mind the bad resolution. I just wish the screen were bigger. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7175 If they're going to show "Carrie," at least they could do it on a TV connected to wi-fi. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7176 They just don't have the budget after Mammon bet it all on the Toronto Raptors last week. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7177 Forcing us to watch these pornographic videos is like preaching to the choir. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7178 I hear they provide barbecued despots during the commercial 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7179 Hot yoga for Dummies... 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7180 "Hell Day" at the Sun Valley Nudist Colony.. they should turn off the a/c off & turn up the heat, gives a little more realism. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7181 You'd think he'd at least have a wide flat-screen and Spectrum cable. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7182 What makes it so diabolical is that’s actually on Blu-Ray. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7183 This will have to do until the VR headsets ship. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7184 This reminds me of my first corporate job. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7185 I blame cable. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7186 Print this, but don't tell anyone where you got it. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7187 It’s fewer channels than cable, but the service is better. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7188 Welcome to remote hog's hell. 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7189 They won't seat late-comers until intermission. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7190 Netflix is really starting to blow. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7191 Apparent;y size matters there too. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7192 Automatonophobia proved ineffective at rolling out the new anti-bullying campaign. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7193 Can't believe their still using a old tv with antennas! 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7194 I hear it's Bravo's hottest line-up 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7195 It sure beats the real experience 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7196 It's an emission reduction thing, which proves environmentalists are evil. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7197 Rabbit ears. That explains the lousy reception. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7198 I've seen this one before. Vanilla Ice starts Tom Brady on his fantasy team, but the Patriots are on a bye week. Vanilla Ice is facing the first place team and Donald Trump is in second place so, “Vanilla Ice, you’re fired!” Ha-ha-ha! It's a classic. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7199 I understand that the cost of maintaining fire on a 24/7 basis has skyrocketed. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7200 Didn’t he say this was our new tanning machine? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7201 What the hell!? That’s why it’s fucking freezing down here. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7202 Attention K-Mart shoppers... 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7203 I'm not firing you, Stewart here is firing you. Believe me, I was just as surprised as you were, Bill. 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7204 This may be Hell for you, but I actually prefer it to watching HGTV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7205 The "Yule Log" folks got the concession... 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7206 So it's just a tv show? 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7207 You gotta watch what you wish for. 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7208 Last year's theme was, "Nudists of the Renaissance." 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7209 If you buy me a new TV, you can have your clothes back. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7210 Now I understand why no one is dressed. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7211 Are we doomed to watch these reruns forever? 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7212 What a delightful surprise! I figured heaven for free broadcast TV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7213 We’re his perfect demographic.  Sinners 35-60 and up. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7214 First Cable; then Flat Screen; Finally clothes. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7215 I heard the only internet connection is dial up. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7216 It’s called the “do not touch screen” torture. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7217 ...and this is what the exact spot you're standing in looked like before the freeze over. Sizzling, eh? 1.1000 0.06980 40 38 0 2
7218 You're right, this is nothing 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7219 Cheap seats again. This is hell. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7220 Will someone please change the channel. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7221 This is even better than the book. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7222 No high def flat screen TV, surround sound, cable, streaming, DVR, HBO, Netflix, wi-fi, personal computers, smartphones, Facebook, texting or Twitter. Now we know the real meaning of hell. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7223 They really need to fix that TV. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7224 If you think this is bad, you should see the sequel! 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7225 I guess we're lucky to get a station. 1.1000 0.04804 40 36 4 0
7226 I love the previews 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7227 We ran out of funding for the immersive portion. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7228 Jerry, ask him if he knows where’s the ladies room. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7229 Could be worse, Thelma. Having to watch "The Gong Show" or "Andy Rooney" for all eternity -- now, THAT would really be hell! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7230 That one producer will come with better shows and all the extra he wants. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7231 No 4K? I'm beginning to think you were right... 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7232 Personally, I like Hell's old-style technology. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7233 Honestly, I guess I DID expect SRO. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7234 It's like watching the Yule Log, but with more brimstone. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7235 You would expect HD TV! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7236 Joke’s on Lucifer...I loved 9-1-1. Honestly, I could watch this ensemble cast for eternity. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7237 Ain't no Band-Aid can help us now, Sparky. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7238 The silver lining... we finally cut the damn cord. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7239 How ridiculous! They're burning my brand new underwear. To me, that's not entertainment. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7240 I'm still waiting for the plot twist. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7241 I promise, I won't forget to turn off the oven next time. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7242 Satan’s films have been on quite the hot streak lately. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7243 That’s a hell of a deal—get 20 percent when you switch to fios! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7244 The boss calls it atmospherics. The real test follows. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7245 Strangely mesmerizing even without HD and vastly cooler than fires of hell. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7246 I'd swear on a stack of bibles, he sounds and looks just like my Drill Sergeant! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7247 He couldn't at least have HD? 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7248 Damn! I thought we could barbecue. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7249 Season 6: jumped the shark. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7250 Thank goodness - they even cut the cord, here in Hell! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7251 Purgatory was overhauled back in the early 1970's. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7252 Congratulations, Bob. Human Resources for Dummies" accepted your manuscript. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7253 Well, you can say the reception down here is no hell. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7254 He ran out of fuel! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7255 You know, I almost preferred his performance art. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7256 Trump tweets 24 hours a day. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7257 He couldn't have at LEAST gotten us cable? I mean, this security footage is getting old. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7258 Low-def on a little tube TV? This surely is Hell. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7259 Our promotional VR experience is coming out next year, but you get the idea. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7260 Devilishly clever, don't you think? 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7261 Less emissions and only solar heat here. Paid to be a Democrat. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7262 It's part of a series running of unfortunate events...you'll get use to it by the third showing. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7263 In Paris we got to visit a whole museum ! Here, a single channel TV. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7264 The training videos are uninspired but I hear the health and safety regulations are pretty lax. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7265 Ken Russell? This is Hell. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7266 He's screening "the Devil wears Prada." 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7267 This must be hell there is too much nudity on TV 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7268 Pregame show. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7269 Someone’s hung over! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7270 At least Trump's finally sweating a little. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7271 Who knew Hell would be so cliché? 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7272 So, do you wanna go to get ID cards after orientation? 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7273 Diane, I refuse to buy a timeshare here. This is not my special place in hell. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7274 Lucifer said he still intends to get an HDTV, but given where we are . . . 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7275 “This is the naked truth - till death do us part”. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7276 Another hundred hours of this and the actual flames won't hurt a bit! 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
7277 Ok, who forgot the marshmallows? 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7278 Whatta you say we get outta here before the next commercial. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7279 No HD? Is this the 10th circle? 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7280 yeah looks like we’re all white and obsessed with TV, even as vast human suffering blazes all around us. you’d think our punishment would reflect that somehow but, no, so far hell’s pretty tight 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
7281 Waiting Room, Presidential Tanning Salon. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7282 I love Movie-Tuesday's 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
7283 It's his new recipe for hot buns. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
7284 Crap! I was at least hoping for cable TV. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7285 Satan thought forcing us to watch a tiny 21 inch screen these days was worse torture than real hell fire. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
7286 Hell sold out in two minutes flat. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
7287 Yes, the reception is great but he’s going to have to give us more privacy to keep all these friends. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7288 That set gotta be at least 45 years old. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7289 IT'S LIVE COVERAGE OF WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE SINCE TRUMP BECAME PRESIDENT. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7290 This is worse than I thought, there is only one channel ! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7291 I was in sales! I'm going to offer him something in HD. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7292 Reruns. Again. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7293 God said to go forth but I went fifth and ended up in the toaster line. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7294 The livestream is lagging again. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7295 That's why I striped of your phone too, so that you can see the world as it is. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7296 Once this is done, we get NetFlix. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7297 If they had a better logo, they’d get a much bigger crowd. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7298 if we leave it up to men, this would be our realtiy...Right Eve? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7299 Where’d you stash the Kool-Ade? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7300 I heard the orientation day is brutal. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7301 Sub-global warming updates at eleven. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7302 Y'all better put some clothes on or else y'all are gonna go there! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7303 If there were a real hell, he wouldn't be trying to scare us with a TV show. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7304 The tv will melt after you receive your rules for living here. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7305 Just like home. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7306 “This ‘Orientation Video’ is so pointless. I get it, we’re damned for all eternity, fire and brimstone, yada yada yada...granted, I did not know about the nudity rule but, whatever, just let us in already”. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7307 Your punishment is to watch CNN for the rest of eternity. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7308 Cripes, standard definition is the worst. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7309 Who knew it would boil down to this -- no cable! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7310 Standing around naked like this is a virtual hell! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7311 TV makes everything look hotter than it really is. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7312 And here I thought that the last season of ‘Lost’ was hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7313 I here there’s barbecue ribs on the menu tonight. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7314 So you're telling me people now like reality TV? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7315 You check your envy! No way anybody deserves HD hellfire more than me. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7316 Midterm election results. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7317 It's like arriving late at the opera ... and, hey, at least there are no commercials for all eternity. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7318 Do you think we can change the channel? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7319 Those cable shows always exaggerate 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7320 It's hot as hell watching this reality TV 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7321 Are you joining this contest for "Hell's Got Talent!" 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7322 I guess this is the special circle of hell reserved for people who watched crimes on TV. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7323 You get use to the sound after a few days. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7324 And this is the TV Room. It streams 'Dante's Inferno' eternally. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7325 We worry that they'll blank the screen. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7326 I just wish it wasn't reruns of "Survivor." 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7327 It’s nothing but Star Wars spoilers. Again. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7328 So basic cable has come to this? 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7329 Thank goodness the Geneva Convention's jurisdiction includes Hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7330 The programming will improve once we get wired for cable. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7331 I hear they've got color TV in purgatory, but only heaven gets cable. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7332 I didn't expect Heaven to have ads for tours of Hell. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7333 Do hope we can still order our favorite vodka martinis with olives. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7334 I only watch to see the commercials. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7335 Do you think someone here was able to sneak in a remote control? We could use a little relief here..... 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7336 This is all because of those damned techies! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7337 Hell is no on demand streaming. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7338 Did you notice the colour of the flames is off? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7339 "The Tower Inferno," again? This IS hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7340 I hope the commercials are better than the programming. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7341 We has a video orientation at my last job too. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7342 Andy Griffith comes on at 6... 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7343 THE FIRES FROM HEAVEN ARE COMING 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7344 You would think that he would at least have a flat screen TV for these orientations 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7345 There's always a hell of a lot of dramas at the damnation Upfronts. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7346 "The programming is painful enough, but the real torture is not watching in HD on a flat screen". 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7347 This really wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t have to keep readjusting the antennas every five minutes. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7348 It looks like porpoises, don’t worry. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7349 There's no doubt, we're in hell! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7350 This one's called, "Learning to Face Your Fires". 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7351 At least not having cable means we won’t have to decipher the plot of “Westworld.” 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7352 How's got the remote? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7353 This is my fifth time share seminar. I hear the lunch is hot. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7354 We've gone from FOMO to YOLO to 'Oh No!' 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7355 Even down here they are concerned about global warming! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7356 I know Netflix wants to expand their subscriber base, but this is a bit extreme don’t you think? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7357 Talk about your hyperlocal omnichannel! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7358 This show has been running longer than 60 Minutes. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7359 The VR headsets come in next week. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7360 I wish he'd let us mute the commercials 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7361 Now that we have seen the Eternal Damnation video, are there any questions before we continue with the orientation? No? Okay, on to the Name Game. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7362 He said, "This is all you get if you never donated plasma." 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7363 Relax we've been fried by the sun over the years and they didn't use a flat screen tv because that's a low-temp gas fireplace. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7364 Our daughter warned us about basic cable. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7365 It looks like a dog drooling rain drops. This might not be so bad. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7366 I’m afraid it’s not the weather channel. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7367 The special effects alone are worth the price of admission. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7368 Pretty sure I'm here because of a 1-star review from my cat. If I were given just one more day, I'd spend it freshening up his bird video collection. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7369 Oh no! There goes The Five! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7370 Due to the rise in the price of oil, the hell fire for your eternal torture will be only on TV. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7371 It didn’t take him long to realise the charade was the Naked Flame. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7372 Reality TV - now I've seen everything. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7373 Marshall McLuhan said it was going to be a cool fire... NOT! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7374 Things are basically the same down here, but it's not as hot as they want us to believe! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7375 Digital hell is what we get for not upgrading our software, no Hi-Def flat screen for us. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7376 Hell IS eternal summer reruns! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7377 Do you think this is the devil's notion of the naked truth? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7378 Abandon all hope your streaming days are over. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7379 Its hellish for the men too, there isn't even a flat screen. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7380 Xxx 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7381 This is nothing like the VR version. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7382 Just another art show 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7383 I guess they don't have enough virtual reality headsets for all of us. I feel chilly. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7384 It's sure getting hot in here! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7385 You just had to say you'd rather burn in hell than pay a cable bill any more." "Oh, please. This is the hottest show on broadcast TV. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7386 When Grandma said I'd go to heck, I thought it was just a euphemism. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7387 Yes, I signed up for Tinder but I wasn't expecting flames . . . 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7388 Timeshare? God no! I'm just here for the free tickets. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7389 It's a little chilly in here. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7390 I think the 'hell' part is the black-n-white image on an analog set. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7391 There goes our asses 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7392 That's reassuring, it'll be a Safety and Health film. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7393 Wait! So the golden age of television is over now? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7394 Want to singe-watch this later? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7395 I heard heaven’s not so great either - they just got cable. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7396 We tried to sacrifice a virgin, but she keeps bouncing off. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7397 This heat is bad enough, but making us watch reruns of F Troop, is hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7398 This is so much better than watching "Three's Company" re-runs. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7399 Which weapon? He: I pick Richard. She: I pick pussycat! 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7400 They're trying something different for Gordon Ramsay's newest show. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7401 Do you know hard it is to find this channel when it’s not Christmas time? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7402 If you stand really still we get better reception. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7403 I played the exact same fireplace video loop at my Christmas party last year. The nudity, however, was optional. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7404 Oh, I agree! You're committing a sin if you're not well-informed. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7405 Here, Joel Osteen is Pay-per-View After Dark. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7406 Next week we finally get the virtual reality glasses. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7407 Who's next in line? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7408 And now, the reruns of the last presidential election- 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7409 Yes, we even recognize Time Warner down here. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7410 Oh, we knew all along their sexual organs are different than ours. Now they know too. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7411 I guess it's better than an infinite loop of an episode of 'Cop Rock'. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7412 This isn't nearly as bad as I'd anticipated. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7413 I told you we should have booked business class 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7414 I thought they canceled this. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7415 Ugh, they don't even have cable? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7416 I guess climate change is real after all. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7417 I'm feeling moth-y. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7418 Ha! I love that funny little gecko. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7419 It's just bad advertising! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7420 I must say, the rival cult's new docuseries is pretty lit. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7421 Not quite the same as the yule log, eh? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7422 Yep, Hell iS freezing over, and they're broadcasting this from Hawaii. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7423 No, I didn't have Comcast 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7424 As if it wasn't bad enough having to watch this on TV --- it's not even high def! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7425 I am told here for Me Too violations. what is Me Too? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7426 Quick fix solution at the nudist colony when the heating breaks down. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7427 I wouldn’t have murdered my entire family if I knew I’d have to endure 240p like this! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7428 Rabbit ears? For Heaven's sake, are you kidding me? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7429 If it's the only way I can watch Game of Thrones then so be it. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7430 Being bad OK an barbecues hooray! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7431 Not seeing it in hi def on a big flat screen seems hellish enough. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7432 Our tour director used do special effects at Burning Man. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7433 He's the fake news caster and I'm the real.thing. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7434 I’m fine with it, but the boss wants a re-write by 5. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7435 Netflix is on fire, after all. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7436 I guess one channel, black and white TV is just another side of hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7437 It's like the Yule Log but with a Boy's Bands soundtrack instead 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7438 First, they go after your most sacred pastimes. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7439 In hell, people watch a television show that is just something burning. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7440 And to think we all used to complain about the cable companies...! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7441 I thought it was a costume party. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7442 Damn you all! I wasn't prepared to entertain so many. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7443 It's really painful during prime time. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7444 No Cable! Don't suppose they have air conditioning? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7445 He said HD is supposed be available next millennium. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7446 It's relatable. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7447 Reality TV is better than reality here. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7448 If this is Hellzapoppin' when do we get to see Martha Raye in the nude? I hear her lips are as big as her mouth. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7449 Brimstone was canceled. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7450 Well, this shouldn't be too bad. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7451 Pack up your office. The Big Boss says you're fired. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7452 This must be retro infotainment. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7453 It's always "Sheol Week". 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7454 He's still waiting for the mines to re-open. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7455 The previews for this place made it seem a lot scarier. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7456 Another rerun and I'm joining Sisyphus on that hill! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7457 These budget cuts are really killing morale. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7458 I'm pretty sure this isn't 60 Minutes. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7459 I always suspected Hell would include reality TV, but who could have predicted continuous-loop, black and white reruns without even a wide-screen option? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7460 It’s Trump and Hannity talking foreign policy. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7461 "How many times is he gonna show, 'Farenheit 451'"? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7462 I do get tired of the Weather Channel, but on the upside, I never have to look for the remote again. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7463 With the Iran treaty falling apart, the price of oil has gone up and we're reduced to watching videos of flames. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7464 Cloudy... with a... chance of ... meatballs...? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7465 Dumbest possible timeline! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7466 God help us - this show sucks. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7467 I mean, Hell, if we're gonna end up there anyway... 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7468 He's beating the hell out of these Fake News. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7469 That is the real fire from hell. It gets lousy ratings! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7470 At least it's not as hot as the real thing. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7471 It's pay-per-view. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7472 This isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7473 Wow. No Netflix. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7474 Somehow I thought hell would involve basic cable reruns. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7475 This must be that special place! 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7476 He traded all his carbon voucher to Trump for souls. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7477 Obviously he's not familiar with McLuhan's theory of TV as a cool medium. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7478 I miss the yule log. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7479 Well I have a feeling that this is the new thing after that pesky cryotherapy hoax. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7480 Had I known there wouldn't be HD... 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7481 They promised a flat screen. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7482 You'd think he would at least have a flat screen. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7483 The most captivating discovery is now enjoyed by all mankind. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7484 Told you Amazon is the devil. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7485 It's chewing gum for the soul. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7486 I hear they have cable in heaven. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7487 I didn't know the "The Apprentice" was directed by The Adversary. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7488 He never went to flat screen 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7489 Did you ever watch the Yule Log on TV? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7490 And all new episodes, starting September 26! 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7491 I love the soundtrack. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7492 OVERBOOKED 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7493 Netflickers and chill 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7494 It's my own fault for trying to keep up with the Kardashians. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7495 Oh good, TMZ is on. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7496 Hell Orientation: "I must say, I'm actually enjoying myself. A flat screen would be nice though." 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7497 I hear they got a cable network to produce hell... 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7498 Don't worry - it was only renewed for an abbreviated eternity. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7499 Reality TV be damned. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7500 Cutbacks down here have been intense recently, Satan over there put all his money into the Stock Market after the election. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7501 "These TV orientations make me long for the old Powerpoint presentations". 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7502 Don't you get tired of these Show and Tells? 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7503 A 19-inch analog black-and-white with no cable or Netflix. This is hell. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7504 Gee, If I only had known I'd spend my eternity in Hell just watching the yule log I would have behaved REALLY bad! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7505 It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7506 Prometheus is gonna pay for this one! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7507 No whining people! Just be glad you got a preview! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7508 They've trying to find the shopping channel. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7509 Do you think they would care if I put it on the x-rated channel. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7510 I would never have guessed that hell was "clothing optional" ! 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7511 This is a light-hearted comedy compared to Black Mirror. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7512 We don't need to hear more advertisements for a FREE round-trip ticket to bask in heat! We'll gladly accept the booby prize ... a one-way trip to the Arctic in winter! 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7513 I prefer the flat screens myself. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7514 When I sold my soul to him, he did promise unlimited binge-watching. 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7515 The orientation's not even in HD. Now I'm really worried. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7516 I'm guessing this isn't the Yule Log? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7517 This almost makes me yearn for "The Apprentice." Almost. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7518 I heard the new flat screen is on order. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7519 Apparently I mansplained too much. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7520 I knew you’d lose the remote. “The Americans” final is on FX. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7521 Do I dare remind him to pay the oil bill on time? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7522 You're going to hate Shark Week 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7523 I could do the weather forecast as good as that guy. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7524 Whose turn is it to throw their log on the fire? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7525 A ticker would have been enough. That was my favorite program. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7526 Let the notes radiate, brother. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7527 ...make you hold it at just the right angle until.... Oh gosh, I’m dating myself! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7528 This doesn't look good, he promised us gossamer clothes. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7529 Welcome to HELLTV. there's only one channel and it's not FOX. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7530 The orientation video is supposedly a real morale booster. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7531 I'm glad to see they finally got the internet providers down here 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7532 I have a flat screen at my house. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7533 His gas bill was going to bankrupt him 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7534 At least it is warm! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7535 I just love magical realism on TV, don't you? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7536 I heard this is part of a push for a greener image. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7537 I heard that fuel prices are nearly as high as the Pearly Gates 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7538 Watching while the world burns? 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7539 So this isn't 5 o'clock Vigyan Yoga? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7540 do you think they have cspan? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7541 No, I don't think they can get 'The Andy Griffith Show' down here. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7542 The Devil became aware of he annual carbon emissions. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7543 Hollywood is so out of touch with reality. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7544 So, you wanna Netflix and burn? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7545 Old news, lah di dah. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7546 "Everything is black and white down here, he couldn't afford 'Comcast' either"! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7547 And the brimstone is on the radio. Nothing else to do down here. Pure Hell 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7548 I told you HBO was ungodly. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7549 The snow channel’s really gone to hell these days. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7550 I think I've seen this episode before. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7551 The new definition of hell: antenna TV. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7552 You should never meet your heroes. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7553 The Earthlings are complaining about global warming? How about we bring them down here? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7554 Joe Arpallo only allows us to watch one channel. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7555 I knew we should have stopped by the Bloomingdales clothing sale. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7556 This is where the ex government VIPs go. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7557 It's hell watching in lo-def. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7558 Satan promised that the new auditorium will fit everyone... 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7559 Look like we can vacation in Hawaii 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7560 Seems to me the Survivor Hades season finale is really flaming out. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7561 Guess TV can't go any lower. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7562 "I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to a high-tech hell. But rabbit ears, come on! 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
7563 See! I wasn’t lying when I said it’s average! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7564 And now a preview of next week’s episode! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7565 It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7566 They have FIOS upstairs but down here we’re still waiting 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7567 White collar criminals get UHDTV. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7568 “Here in the 2nd circle, we’re sentenced to an eternity of daytime TV from the 1980s. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7569 We never used to have watch these goddamn compliance videos at SAC Capital. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7570 You gotta love hell in Norway. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7571 Global warming is Hell , Season Two, begins soon. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
7572 Attention this is a broadcast test of the emergency service alert system for Trump followers. In the event the pee pee tapes are made public, follow the man with the pitch fork to saftey. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7573 No flat screen? This /will/ be hell. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
7574 So this is where they got the idea of a Yule Log. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
7575 Why do we have to watch another Inferno movie when we are living it? 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7576 Analog? My job was virtual... 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7577 I believe that their technology lags behind the other place 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7578 Who would have guessed hell orientation would have been so well directed. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7579 Our very own version of yin and yang. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7580 Hell Has No Fiery Like Our Naked Bodies, At least we can watch TV 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7581 It's not in 4k. This really is Hell. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7582 It's the new austerity program. Wait till you see the brimstone video. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7583 Yep, only tv station in hell is in fact a virtual fireplace, but if you ask me the real torture is it`s not in HD. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7584 I really don't mind having to watch the video feed, but I miss my plasma. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7585 Any chance I could get a snow cone? 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
7586 It reminds him of his mother 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
7587 The note said, “It will destroy you.” 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
7588 Choosing "Get Naked" over "High Def" is a decision I'll regret for eternity. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
7589 When we get in, you wanna skip the hot tub? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7590 Is this the Cable Industry section? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7591 This is the best we can give you since the DEP made a surprise inspection here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7592 Is that the Yule Log or a picture of everlasting Hell? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7593 I know it was you who wrote termites on the potluck sign up sheet. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7594 I bet Saint Peter has the premium cable package... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7595 I guess only having one in station Nudist Hell is not as bad as being stuck in Trump News 24/7 Hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7596 When we had trees, I still preferred the wood burning fireplace. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7597 I don't mind the rabbit ears reception but the no remote is killing me 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7598 And you thought binge watching for a weekend was a lot. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7599 Tuesday’s include Hades version of “Fireside Theatre” 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7600 Do you know how hard it is to find this channel when it’s not Christmas? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7601 At least it’s better than ‘Friends’. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7602 No, they only fake the news in the other place. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7603 I thought there was no TV in hell 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7604 The commercial break is where they really get you. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7605 No synthetics. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7606 Everyone, meet our new guest who was just killed by the internet. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7607 Being naked is the new cool, so what if we’re as hot as the devil? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7608 This is just cruel. It's so much better on the big screen. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7609 And yet the millennials are so hell-bent on having 'experiences'. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7610 You're telling me the television is a "Brimstone"? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7611 I don't really feel like I'm there with such poor picture quality. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7612 That was one helluva movie. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7613 Waite till you see the fire works in person !! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7614 They still haven't done anything about the grainy reception. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7615 We have to stand and watch this on HD for eternity .. it’s the “Hell & Damnation” series of endless episodes . 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7616 I guess we're in the millennial section. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7617 You'd think he could afford the real thing. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7618 a hellish tutorial. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7619 It's how we achieve our Paris Accord target. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7620 Would it be better or worse on HDTV? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7621 This is ridiculous... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7622 Who wants to suck my dick? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7623 Now, which one of you is Buck Necked? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7624 You have to believe me, that's not a real fire. The light is behind us. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7625 Is this for real? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7626 Hand basket orientation 101 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7627 it's hell having to watch this in standard definition standard definition is true evil 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7628 It turns out, if you made your body a temple, you were shunning God’s bounty. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7629 Later we all get jalapeno jelly. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7630 Could we get some chairs at least? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7631 pretty boring plot. repetitive as hell. i only watch the ads, myself. say, want to hit the sauna later..? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7632 Kinda poetic actually- hell is a purgatory of spoilers. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7633 Our eternal BarBQ lessons...if only they could get a led screen... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7634 This must be Hell... No HD!! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7635 I hear the ambiance is not so bad, but the wifi is terrible. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7636 Let's hope no one tells him it's the Channel 11 Yule log. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7637 Well, this box here has been taking a lot of credit for my work. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7638 Is this the failure-to-sin-boldly section? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7639 He thinks he's so hot, well I'll be damned if I watch this old nonsense again. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7640 Man... It's not even a flat-screen. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7641 It must be an elephant. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7642 During fuel shortages he tries to kill us with reruns of last year. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7643 Eternity without cable. Whadya expect? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7644 I should have listened to the kids. and switched to streaming 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7645 I heard "Hell's Fire" is on next 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7646 I thought we'd agreed, no close-ups. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7647 Can't we just break the tv? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7648 I really could do without the coming attractions. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7649 Sadly, its the Big Island.... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7650 Somehow, I assumed that Virtual Hell would be a lot more high tech. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7651 Looks like we're going to have a hot rating on this show. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7652 Hell's version of a plasma screen. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7653 If this is a prelude, the recption's not so hot. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7654 Dad's ratings on "The Apprentice" were better than this. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7655 Who's next? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7656 Do my glasses make me look devilish? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7657 The picture would have looked far more realistic on digital. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7658 We missed this part during spin class. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7659 They said they were facing austerity measures but this is next-level draconian. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7660 I don’t really mind the latest round of budget cuts. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7661 This sector is for people that used the phrase 'in a hot minute'. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7662 This is the real deep state 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7663 Somehow, this presentation feels a bit nostalgic. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7664 This is certainly not what I expected from the Oldest Flexer 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7665 Looks like the technological revolution reached everywhere. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7666 Welcome to Nellyville. Please, take off all your clothes. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7667 That’s when I formed a PAC! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7668 A finer flock of unfeathered, feckless friends you’ll never find. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7669 Hell is low-end VR. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7670 Things are really bad down here too, not even a flat TV! 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7671 Our chances are entirely remote. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7672 This fire infomercial doesn't realize where it's broadcasting, does it? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7673 I guess we won't be seeing sex and the single girl episodes 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7674 These induction training videos are my hell... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7675 To make us suffer even more, they’re making us watch hell as it was depicted during 1970’s TV. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7676 He says it's must-see T.V. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7677 These budget cuts are getting out of hand. 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7678 Naked Devil Tribe Wages War! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7679 Old television, no cable -- I never thought hell could be this horrible. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7680 You asked for Naked and Afraid! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7681 Looks like another re-run! (or) Looks like yet another re-run to me. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7682 We left our fire for this? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7683 Hell hath no fury. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7684 There were some cutbacks to the budget, so we couldn't afford an actual fiery hellscape. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7685 'It's actually brilliant from a UX perspective.' 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7686 Rats! I already binge-watched this season. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7687 I TOLD you the nude beach was a bad idea... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7688 We’re the only demo watching more not less broadcast you know. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7689 And he wants to be taken seriously - with analog? 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7690 Here's just a brief preview of what you shall be enduring for eternity. Listen up! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7691 Are you sure your hands are covering your eyes 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7692 No HD? I truly am in hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7693 I heard even more budget cuts are coming soon. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7694 It's the only channel and the ice cream commercials are a half hour long. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7695 Fifth circle of Hell. Yup, I'm wrathful and sullen. Cable where art thou! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7696 So glad I supported net neutrality! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7697 Thank God, there's rain in the forcast (oops, I mean thank the devil)! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7698 The worst part is that I can’t remember what a hot medium is. (“Is” in italics) 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7699 Hell..It really did work getting my message across. I should listen to God more often! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7700 I accepted going to hell, but not to the dark ages! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7701 Well, at least he let's us watch reruns of Seinfeld 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7702 Its like watching the Yule Logs at Christmas, without the eggnog. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7703 Oh look, we finally got roles in reality T.V. Thanks tRUMP. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7704 Someone can simply change the channel. 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7705 Who needs the Yule log? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7706 That's the damnation for our zip code. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7707 I told you that in hell everybody would be using a sport. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7708 ''last season did not have special effects so chilling'' 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7709 The video rotates between “it’s hotter n’ hell in here” and eggs frying on pavement in DeathValley. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7710 Down here the boob tube lights-up if you're devilishly hot. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7711 It's the same show they get in Heaven, but down here it's not in 4K. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7712 We get a bathroom break only during the commercials. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7713 This really is hell watching this on a cathode-ray TV. 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7714 Apparently videos have taken over down here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7715 I'm certainly afraid 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7716 His fifteen seconds of fame, our eternity. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7717 You'd think they would at least have a flat screen TV. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7718 Last week it was non-stop reruns of Knight Rider! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7719 I think he's going to switch to the "Andy Griffith Show" and we'll be naked as hell in front of Opie and Aunt Bea! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7720 And I used to think my cable TV viewing options were hellishly limited. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7721 Nobody told me I’d need glasses to read the captions down here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7722 He seats latecomers before the second eternity. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7723 Well this beats watching Fox News on a continuous loop. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7724 I saw it, it was in Netflix 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7725 It has something to do about trying to lower the gas bill. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7726 Reruns. Again. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7727 Calgary in the lead with 3 to Miami's 119. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7728 Ugh not another rerun 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7729 Season six is really heating up. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7730 Don't worry. The fire is only for pro Trump Evanglists. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7731 It sure is drafty in here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7732 I heard that the OSHA lawyers finally learned about the conditions here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7733 Apparently wifi floats so... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7734 'When's Love Island starting?' 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7735 It's worse than the fire. The shopper channel comes on in a minute. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7736 I think we can forget about decent Wi-Fi. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7737 It gets worse. The local UHF channel only shows reruns of "Highway to Heaven" and "Touched by an Angel". 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7738 Ever since Ted Turner died, we only get Fox News. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7739 The devil recently became a member of GreenPeace. Effective immediately, Hell will no longer rely on the burning of fossil fuels. All flames will be virtual and residence will be sunburned eternally using newly installed solar panels. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7740 President Trump immolated himself in announcing that his Mar-O-Lago resort has become a nudist colony at which neither the emperor nor the members have any clothes. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7741 My Dad owns this company so do everything on my list immediately, you idiot. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7742 Hope we aren't destined to be pitchfork hors d'oeuvres. 1.0588 0.05882 34 33 0 1
7743 Instead of brimstone, it's the Brimstone Channel. What the Hell? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7744 I'd like to know why our health insurance does not cover ‘wood ailments.’ 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7745 Hi Chelsea. I'm Joe Biden. I see you're here with your parents Bill and Hillary. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7746 Damned budget cuts. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7747 What did I do to deserve a 4:3 aspect ratio? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7748 Hell could use a Disney renovation. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7749 PG&E has been notified. Meanwhile, please enjoy our featured movie, "Volcano." 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7750 Without commercial breaks, it does seem like eternity 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7751 Next time can we just go to dinner and a movie? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7752 Heard someone from the Ninth Circle say the projector bulb overheated. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7753 I'll bet you they're going to make us watch 6 more hours of Fox news. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7754 This is a request from the upper management, i hope you understand! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7755 I’ve heard of group therapy but group sun tanning...... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7756 It's their version of the Yule Log. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7757 I don't know how long you've been down here, but this IS NOT Amazon Fire TV. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7758 The cable melted . . . 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7759 Another re-run?! I can't take it anymore! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7760 The seventh circle has cable. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7761 we are all here because we were homosexual before we died 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7762 Multi-site congregations make sense when you have increased membership. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7763 This show is too derivative, can we turn it off? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7764 This is supposed to be hell? This is better than any of the programming I was seeing back home! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7765 They only have local news for the house fires. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7766 Did you pack my sunblock? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7767 I think I recognize everyone here from The Met Costume Gala. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7768 I was expecting the Devils to be bigger." "I know, and you think by now he'd at least have LED " "...Oh I didn't notice the television. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7769 The Voss commercials last forever. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7770 We’re starting a new hellish program to reduce global warming... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7771 I know it’s disapponting. It’ll be much more realistic when they get the 60-inch 4K TV. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7772 Television has really hit its lowpoint. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7773 I got a great deal on Trivago. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7774 I thought it was hot down here! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7775 I bet they have 1080p in Heaven. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7776 Hell? Naw, just warming up this old TV through crowd scoarching. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7777 Well, it's a better love story than Twilight. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7778 This is one hell of a line! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7779 Its meant to be the latest travel hotspot 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7780 I was fine with those genocidal dictators and murderers winning Sinner of the Month. But getting beaten by an arsonist? I didn’t expect rapists to be ignored here, too. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7781 "Closed captioning, fire and brimstone brought to you by Evangelicals For a Warmer World". 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7782 I guess the price of sulfur has gone to hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7783 The reception isn't great, but it's a custom "lost signal" screen. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7784 Don't worry, Brimstone comes in 3D. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7785 I'm sure the original contract doesn't have a do-over option... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7786 I don't think this is what they meant by #Me Too... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7787 It’s the commercials that are really hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7788 TV, though, is SO much better. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7789 Those of us with a brain in our head get to watch Reality TV for Eternity. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7790 Turns out, hell is literally a standard-def television. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7791 Xxx 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7792 Elton John was right. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7793 Stalactites or stalagmites? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7794 Seriously? We can't find a cable guy? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7795 Who knew it was in Hawaii? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7796 I always wondered what happened to Ring Around the Collar. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7797 I can relate to this show. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7798 Turns out the war in heaven was over reality TV. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7799 How offensive! Reruns, again? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7800 We have to watch the promotional blurb in SD? It really is Hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7801 Wonder if the reception's any better for the people who got buried in their suits? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7802 He’s doing it on the cheap: Pruriency is his real game. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7803 Binge watching Amazon Prime turns hellish. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7804 I'm just saying, I'll probably go back to spinning next week. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7805 Doesn't seem like hell until you realize it's all that's on and you have to watch it for eternity. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7806 They said Hell is other people, but at least those guys wore clothes and only watched Game of Thrones. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7807 This also beats 'Ozzie and Harriet" reruns. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7808 You would think after all this time ,weekly focous groups would might seem a bit indulgent. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7809 I expected we were going there, but I had heard they have cable. What fresh hell is this? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7810 Is someone getting fired from the Apprentice or Trumps Administration this time? 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7811 We came all this way and still no cable! 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7812 It is hard to get decent reception down here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7813 "Hot as Hell" is fake news. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7814 Our only hope is the fire department shows up sometime this eternity. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7815 You're hot. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7816 I'd say that fake news. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7817 Not surprising eternal damnation includes Lost in Space reruns. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7818 Hell is not having a flat screen for the big game. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7819 please follow your help full devil into hell 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7820 You're right, the color separation is unbearable. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7821 Hell? Same old, same old... 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7822 You know, it is actually tolerable compared to when we use to decide what to watch on Netflix. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7823 Bob warned me about that timeshare presentation 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7824 What's Up 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7825 It was getting too hot in here. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7826 Arthur Brown, for eternity1 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7827 He works harder than a millennial and you can't hurt his feelings. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7828 If you think you are cold up here, I have a special place for you. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7829 This is the Trump Circle of Hell. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7830 Ok, so he delivered the Netflix but where’s the chill. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7831 When Trump said that he’d send White House leakers to a place of fire and fury I had no idea he had this in mind or that one of his old Apprentice producers would be in charge. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7832 Good. I needed one. 1.0588 0.04096 34 32 2 0
7833 They found that CGI actually causes _more_ weeping and gnashing of teeth. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7834 Fake news! He is not that hot after all! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7835 Oh my-- not even 4k quality, this is really hell. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7836 Hell is having no remote. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7837 sese 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7838 I was hoping for the aquarium channel. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7839 My God! You've melted the boob tube. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7840 It isn't even in HD. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7841 Well- at least they can’t make us watch any episodes of ‘Fuller House’ 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7842 I'd give anything for Fox News. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7843 Can you please make clear your privacy policy? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7844 Spoiler alert: he's still suffering in agony 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7845 They call it “Naked & Ashamed.” 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7846 Who knew "Netflix and Chill" would lead to "C-span and Grill." 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7847 I'm not a fan of retro marketing campaigns. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7848 You did tell me if kept watching those dumb, old, sexy movies we would wind up some place like this. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7849 This is the prelude to the infomercials! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7850 I heard that they have cable and big screen TVs in Heaven. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7851 Don't worry I heard he failed in the desert, but so did man now were butt naked and burning. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7852 I was set up by those blasted Alt-Right missionaries. I thought I was going to a lovely nudist colony, but they were were sending me to Hell. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7853 We, at least we now know where old tube TVs go.... 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7854 I get all hot when I see flicking fire. You?? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7855 this on-line hype is getting ridiculous. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7856 Hey that "Sin City 8" orgy attempting to set a new participant record is in this hotel right? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7857 They did say it would get hot in here. 1.0571 0.05714 35 34 0 1
7858 Uh-oh. Somebody's too cheap to pay for cable! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7859 His ability to get reception is impeccable. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7860 Did you honestly think we would have it to ourselves if we bought a house? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7861 I can't wait until Satan goes hi-def! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7862 Count your blessings. Yesterday it was The Bachelor. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7863 At least it's not in HD. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7864 Did you have Trump at the funeral? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7865 Wanna get the hello outta here? 1.0571 0.05714 35 34 0 1
7866 I mean, I know he's the hero in this one, but..."Angel Heart" again??? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7867 At least it's not high def. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7868 This is great! We get all the hot new shows! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7869 These budget cuts are taking all the fun out of this place. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7870 Who ever thought hell would be old Starsky and Hutch reruns. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7871 Sorry I couldn't be here in person. I need to spend more time with my family. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7872 Hell Lite 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7873 I like the naked part of hell but having to watch this 24/7 is really too much. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7874 You’re gonna love HBO. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7875 The red guy is too cheap to afford flat screen. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7876 Is this Hell’s version of “no signal?” 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7877 The guy at Best Buy was right - standard definition is torture. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7878 Just pretend it's a fireplace. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7879 It really starts to fall off around the 666th season. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
7880 Unfortunately our fire and brimstone reserve is depleted 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
7881 Attenborough...No. Burns. The cello is a dead-giveaway. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
7882 Yeah, we all worked in reality TV too. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
7883 Say what you will, it was thoughtful of them to televise the Yule log, even if it's a bit belated. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7884 We're having ice cream after the show 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7885 I know, looks like inflamed tonsils, but this is where it gets exciting! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7886 Fox News. Why am I not surprised? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7887 He's on one of his eco kicks. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7888 And here I thought they were going to be pitching a time share! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7889 At least it's not 4K 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7890 Don’t sweat it Dear. If you can’t make it for 21 days the producers will let you tap out and come back for another episode next year. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7891 Fake News.......Fake News 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7892 No, it doesn’t take the chill off. But worse, it’s pay-per-view. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7893 Yep, this is hell alright ... That’s a 21” Monochrome CRT TV ... with no replacement parts ... we are toast! ... 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7894 Stay tuned for 'Damnation'. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7895 This months viewing seems really diverse: the flames actually moved! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7896 Sitcoms just aren’t the same anymore. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7897 Is this Sweden? I think I saw this one in Sweden. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7898 Is this the casting call for Naked and Afraid and Damned? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7899 The vacation package looks good, but do they make SPF 451? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7900 Hell it's snowing there! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7901 We lost the remote years ago. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7902 Oh for heaven's sake, they were supposed to stream The Damned Don't Cry. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7903 The old trying to make us miss home routine is not as effective as it used to be. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7904 Ah, the life of the damned. Feels just like home, doesn't it? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7905 It's hell not having a remote! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7906 I know this is Hell . . . but no HD? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7907 They just assume we'll be begging for cable. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7908 Things are a lot hotter on the small screen. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7909 Stand by and watch your own destruction. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7910 You've been condemned to watch "The Apprentice" episodes, for all eternity. They only show fire on the program break, just before they fire someone on the episode. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7911 They'd better pay the gas bill before we all catch pneumonia. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7912 AND NOW...ABC’S, “CAVEMAN”! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7913 On the plus side, we won’t have to waste time looking for the remote. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7914 I'll opt for Siberia - even if it means I have to wear clothes! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7915 YOU COME HERE OFTEN? HIS TAIL STANDS UP HIGHER THE LONGER WE STARE AT THIS BOX TV 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7916 These Nelly-themed parties have not aged well. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7917 God banned screentime 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7918 No class -- next they'll try to sell us hot dogs. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7919 Seriously, is there anything to fear in Reality TV? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7920 Welcome to hell, where Fox and Friends is broadcast 24-7 to eternity! Yes, it is hard to bare. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7921 The pilot light is out. Feel the burn of the high energy visible light emanating from this TV screen, which is quite damaging to your skin! Mwahaha! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7922 I know media these days is a living hell, but we asked for transparency - not to bare all! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7923 the appliances look outdated, but i hear the heating system is spectacular. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7924 Dante and McLuhan were wrong. It's hot. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7925 We’re leaving, honey. This place advertised cable TV. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7926 Don't they make the admission decision based on our past behavior, not our bodies? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7927 Who would have thought AI would save us from real hell? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7928 Well I'll be damned ... I guess it is Laurel. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7929 When you had Too much TV 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7930 Netflix and roast? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7931 Standard Definition, CRT, one channel?? This really is Hell! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7932 I don't remember this the last time we came to Disneyworld 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7933 I think these Cruise Line planners have gotten a bit carried away. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7934 Now that's entertainment! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7935 GOP in the age of Trump 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7936 I guess video streaming hasn’t caught on here yet. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7937 I think I can talk him into rethinking his position on crime and punishment. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7938 It's the latest in flaming hot fig leaf fashion. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7939 The Devil is INTO the details!! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7940 We're all neked, and we still end up hiding our genitals. He certainly seems to be enjoying looking at them though. I feel his scorching gaze roasting my pubicles. Do you? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7941 Don't believe a word of it: it's just more fake news from a self-confessed leaker. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7942 I bet they don't have satellite radio either. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7943 A chocolate covered cupcake is morally decadent. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7944 This is the best TV Satan could afford after he donated all his money to Zach Braff’s Kickstarter. Does that still track? I killed myself like five years ago. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7945 Don't worry; it can't hurt us. I don't get HBO! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7946 I guess this is a pre-view. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7947 I told you that in hell everybody would be using a sport. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7948 Terrifying? Wait till you see the IMAX version. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7949 Farenheit 525 This of course relates to the former analog TV system using 525 scan lines 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7950 Don't you think its about time to sign up for cable? Had a great one for the one expiring on may 13..."at least I'm not just somebody's puppet on a string like you"! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7951 I know we’re in hell cause there’s no cable. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7952 What sort of mental disorder do you think she has? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7953 I don't see how people confuse us with the Rajneeshees. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7954 I'm hoping there is a cooling subliminal message. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7955 I said it before, we should have a fire department down here. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7956 Uh...this is definitely not my SAA meeting. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7957 Room 13 has a continuous loop of Trump misspellings. Preference? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7958 Lets do it anyway. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7959 Nothing can be done to bring back reality TV. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7960 I forgot how bad it was before remote controls. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7961 Cheer up. Somebody's got to be a TV tech in a group this size. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7962 I kind of miss the old days. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7963 sese 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7964 What's on TV". "The usual slime. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7965 Yesterday was the Lost finale. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7966 Do you think we'll get HBO too? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7967 After this, "Everyone Loves Raymond." 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7968 If only the Garden of Eden had had Apple TV! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7969 Agghh! There's no remote! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7970 They'll change the channel at Noon, Eastern time and again every four hours for a repeat of the torch lighting ceremony. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7971 We only get the same damn shows on cable! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7972 he damnation will be televised 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7973 You continue watching it till gas comes back, sorry for any inconvenience. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7974 This is just their way of saying there's no streaming video here. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7975 What kind of bullsh*t TV program is this? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7976 And I thought the adult channels I used to watch were hot! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7977 HR said only a dummy would respond to your complaint in writing. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7978 It’s a new sitcom, Utterly Hell. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7979 I guess they don't have plasma screens down here. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7980 If it’s CNN, it’s fake news. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7981 And if you order now you'll get not one, but two eternities of suffering free! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7982 I only for the commercials. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7983 And remember, ladies and gents, to please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7984 This is a preview of the next season. o3n. eason. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7985 I usually don't form an opinion until I read what Emily Nussbaum has to say. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7986 I can't believe you get paid 2 salaries. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7987 If you think this is bad, you should see the commercials. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7988 I told you that was a GMO. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7989 Interesting orientation; and by the way, mine is hetero. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7990 And now you can see why it was called the “Boob Tube.” 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7991 God! Can someone change the station for Christ sake. I;m not interested in politics 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7992 'These employee training videos are always written by the slothful.' 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7993 The real suffering comes from having to spend eternity with this picture quality. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7994 At least there aren’t any commercials 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7995 This is real "Fire TV" 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7996 Heavens, I just wanted to work on my tan. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7997 Would it help if we died in Alaska? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7998 Reality TV 24/7. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
7999 Just watching warms me to the cockles of my... 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8000 Usually one of the advantages of reality sows is avoiding crowds. But this still has benefits, 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8001 In the year 2055 there will be so many dead former contestants of the Bachelor, hell is forced to use an overflow space. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8002 With fossil fuels depleted, to experience the real thing, ask to be reassigned to West Virginia or Arabia . 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8003 Did you bring the ice cubes? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8004 There's absolutely nothing funny about this set up. #itwillallbeoversoon 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8005 Virtual hell is a lot cooler than the old one. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8006 We have group rates for Hot Springs, Hawaii. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8007 It's not as cheerful but a lot safer than the real thing. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8008 Eternal prescription commercials. Who knew? 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8009 That's live topside coverage of the Hawaii campaign. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8010 I'm sweaty already. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8011 It’s just as bad down here, too. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8012 Fire is a super important theme on this show. I can tell because I used to be a professional TV recapper back when I was alive -- Westworld, Bosch, GoT, you name it, I probably 'capped it. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8013 Hear Ye! You can begin the countdown because in exactly one minute, the final ball will drop down at 12:00 AM sharp! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8014 It's really a classic ending to the "Where Are Your Clothes?" video. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8015 Don’t worry. This is just where they put the masochists. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8016 You people were selected among many who were not as deserving. Some among you, more deserving than the others, will get to go first on a reality show that is just sizzling at the moment. Mike Abbott! Come On Down! 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8017 I heard they mute the Christmas music up in heaven. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8018 At lease with Eternity of Commercials we get the fake fire. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8019 At least there are no advertisements for drugs 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8020 aSonerinws I feel like I look like hell. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8021 Well, our only choices are Fox News or Khloe and Lamar. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8022 One would think he’d have a flat screen. 1.0323 0.03279 31 30 1 0
8023 We’ve outsourced. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8024 A bit more chillier than I expected. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8025 Never thought I'd see the sixties again. Orientation, old school. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8026 We only get coverage in hell. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8027 Yeah. It is just like nudist day ay the Louvre. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8028 You're right, there is a slight resemblance to David Koresh. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8029 You'd think the warning video would say more than "it's hot." Duhhh. I wonder what happens if we don't sign the liability waiver form? 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8030 Airport security ain’t what it used to be. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8031 Finally, we get to see the big Dating Naked reveal. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8032 He seems a little burned out lately. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8033 You bet it's hell. They won't even invest in HDTV and streaming. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8034 I really don't understand why you need to have a ghost name. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8035 I hear the fourth circle has cable. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8036 This show really has gone to hell. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8037 It's Technicolor. I can't imagine a future without it. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8038 It was either this or Roxanne.... 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8039 Preview of coming attractions: Arriving soon! 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8040 I had to go to choir practice. What did I miss on Hell Show? 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8041 If you couple (aka “eat the apple”) this is where you end up. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8042 Where’s Ted Danson? 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8043 It's every season of every Real Housewives show on a loop. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
8044 This is way better than the furry convention we attended last week 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
8045 Health and Safety? I want to party like its 1999. Forever 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
8046 I'm really getting sick of these re-runs 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
8047 Another Kardashian's marathon. 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
8048 Where;s the Kool Aid? 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
8049 It's a CRT. You were expecting LED? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8050 I would wear the ones in teal in a heartbeat! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8051 I’m glad we didn’t miss the previews. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8052 The part about halos and wings must be next certain the The part about wings and halos must be next. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8053 This is hell, nor am I out of it" __Marlowe's "Doctor Faustus 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8054 Such bum reviews, lets go elsewhere. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8055 I could do without the Christmas music. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8056 Of course the media is going up in flames 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8057 Hell must have frozen over when people rather that on TV. 1.0000 0.03390 30 30 0 0
8058 I knew there was treason who I've never liked orientation videos. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8059 Did the Devil's hellfire really cause Global Warning ? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8060 Don'r ask about cable 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8061 At least we don't have to watch Dads 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8062 You think they'd at least spring for the HD tv... 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8063 I don’t know, seems pretty worth it to me 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8064 Plus, I hear the guy hangs dong and I' m very interested in seeing that. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8065 When we finally get cable down here it'll be much sharper and hotter. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8066 Wanna lie on a bare skin? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8067 If I knew Hell would be this boring, I would have worked on getting to Heaven. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8068 Would you like some “coolaid?” 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8069 We burned all the money and can't afford flat screens, sorry. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8070 No, I'm not surprised really. After all, they did invent it! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8071 If they had cable, then it would truly be hell. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8072 Now I understand that they were saying Yule be sorry. 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8073 He keeps promising HD, but it never comes. 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8074 Hurry, before they sink! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8075 It's getting hotter than Hell up there. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8076 They stared at each other in silence. The transmitter crackled in the background, eager and helpless. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8077 I thought the GPS was directing us to Club Med. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8078 I was expecting something hotter, like HD 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8079 This place is worse than I expected--no premium channels and no remote. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8080 Is this the audition for extras in "The Walking Naked?" 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8081 Totally. The overflow room is the coolest spot. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8082 He thinks nudity is so hot it's even melting the TV it's being broadcast on. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8083 In living Better than I don’t look good on TV. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8084 We have to keep binge-watching a show called 'Flames of Shame.' It's a wee bit comforting. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8085 This technology is bringing us one step closer to hell freezing over. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8086 It's a sensational new device, available only here. Come on in! 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8087 Do some channel surfing, "Boiling stream of blood" is about to begin. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8088 If I'd known, I would have kept my jacket 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8089 Which one of us do you hope the resignation letter is from? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8090 LOOK AT THAT GUY BEHIND THE TV IN THAT FUNNY COSTUME 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8091 I hear they’re offering HBO as an add-on for $4.99 a month. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8092 It looks like Purgatory Programming has as much fire of Game of Thrones... I wonder about the the sex and violence..? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8093 This reception area's scheduled for an upgrade. It's "Cats 24/7" downstairs on 4k Ultra HD. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8094 Turns out Hell is a world without cable. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8095 I keep telling them that screens burn your eyes, but they don't listen. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8096 The TV says it’s hot, so it must be real. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8097 I have a feeling we’re not at the Palais de Tokyo anymore. 1.0000 0.03390 30 30 0 0
8098 Welcome GOT fans, this is your friendly reminder that winter is not coming until Summer 2019. Mwahaha but be sure to make yourself at home and watch all the confusing dumb robot show you want. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8099 What a weird info session. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8100 this is worse than i imagined 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8101 The man upstairs insisted - no naked flames. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8102 I really love his use of color. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8103 With the high oil prices, we can only afford a subscription to the Fire Channel. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8104 Wow. I thought Verizon FIOS was everywhere. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8105 It's torture to have to watch this on a non-flat screen TV. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8106 Sure isn't Reality TV. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8107 You gotta love the irony—our being clothing optional arsonists and all. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8108 How long do you think it’ll take us to reinvent real fire in the underworld? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8109 We must stand and look it forever. That ‘s the Hell of it. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8110 Doesn't that look great in 3D? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8111 I'll bet you they use overdubs instead of subtitles. They really do think of everything down here. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8112 Hi. My name's Richard but they call me Horny. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8113 Gonna be a long,cold winter... 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8114 Drawing: Cop is confronting motorists :I'm sorry , sir. It either two rolled joints." or fifteen years in the slammer 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8115 At least the Hellavision version lacks that sulfur smell. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8116 It's just another flame show 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8117 The devil loves a "fiery" audience. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8118 Did you see the part where we must shower first? 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
8119 The Devil: These people believe everything I tell them. They think this fire is real, and that it is really hot in here. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8120 Yeah, we have to watch Hell's Kitchen every week. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8121 Well, it's better than the continuous yule log. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8122 I afraid Newton Minnow was right! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8123 That's right. Analog. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8124 This orientation is very soothing; I've always loved the yule log. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8125 Are you sure you want to do this??? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8126 Of course it’s not hdtv, we’ in Hell. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8127 IT'S A GOOD THING THAT WE'RE NUDISTS! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8128 They call it the Burning Channel. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8129 I really like this one. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8130 Rumor has it that his budget was cut so he couldn't get real fire 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8131 I hope it's gonna be Let's Make a Deal. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8132 at least hes not making us watch the 4 o'clock news. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8133 Still think it was too much money for the skip-the-line pass? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8134 But, Carol, aren't we supposed to be at a timeshare promo for a 'naturist resort'? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8135 Today God called ion sick, so I'll substitute. We'll watch my favorite show, ''the place you idiots should be'', to keep you quiet. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8136 If he's going to force us to watch flames, at least it could be on a large screen, flat panel TV! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8137 It's nice to finally be somewhere so civilized. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8138 I saw this on my phone once. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8139 He said any climate change deniers will change their mind when we get to our next destination. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8140 He describes it as warm, but it looks hot as hell to me! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8141 If I’d know Hell was watching reruns of Celebrity Apprentice when Gary Busey gets all crazy I would have voted Democratic. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8142 As I told you yesterday,I don't know why they don't have a big screen. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8143 They swapped movie night for bingo night. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8144 Hell is other people - and art intervention. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8145 I'm not a fan of these new shows; their main characters are too morally ambiguous. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8146 Remember when ‘nothing on’ referred to it? 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8147 Thank the Beast for not cancelling Amendment 666, the human right to perspire. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8148 Trust me, it's worth the damnation. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8149 I thought we were the only nudists on the planet! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
8150 At least it's not 4K 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8151 With so many candidates interviewing for Naked News, the old Boob tube is really heatin' up! 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8152 I had a 60" flat screen back in Toledo. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0
8153 Our A group has to watch on a 100 foot screen. Forever. 1.0000 0.03774 27 27 0 0