These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2018-05-13T18:52:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2018-05-27T19:04:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2018-05-21T18:52:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | May 28th, 2018 |
Number of captions | 5274 |
Number of responses | 663636 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | I’ve advised my client not to talk. | 1.9071 | 0.01055 | 5456 | 1932 | 2099 | 1425 |
1 | I've got corporate up my ass on this one John... | 1.9012 | 0.01433 | 3473 | 1427 | 962 | 1084 |
2 | I want to report inappropriate touching. | 1.8799 | 0.01252 | 4354 | 1778 | 1321 | 1255 |
3 | Of course he had a hand in this! | 1.8760 | 0.01185 | 4305 | 1602 | 1635 | 1068 |
4 | I need you to order all of the 'For Dummies' books on this list. | 1.8601 | 0.01866 | 1765 | 683 | 646 | 436 |
5 | Trust me, I speak for both of us. | 1.8589 | 0.01138 | 4451 | 1641 | 1797 | 1013 |
6 | Do you have any idea who you're talking to? | 1.8573 | 0.01173 | 4520 | 1773 | 1619 | 1128 |
7 | His words, not mine. | 1.8536 | 0.01133 | 4536 | 1701 | 1798 | 1037 |
8 | We want time-and-a-half. | 1.8478 | 0.01094 | 5130 | 2024 | 1863 | 1243 |
9 | Could you take care of this? The boss is breathing down my neck. | 1.8439 | 0.01654 | 2204 | 863 | 822 | 519 |
10 | The memo speaks for itself. Which is more than I can say for Brad here. | 1.8363 | 0.01071 | 5191 | 2040 | 1961 | 1190 |
11 | Ignore him. You now report directly to me. | 1.8315 | 0.01706 | 2047 | 811 | 770 | 466 |
12 | Read the memo from HR, Fred. From now on, I'm a "vocally enabled support mannequin," not a "dummy." | 1.8169 | 0.01219 | 4216 | 1778 | 1432 | 1006 |
13 | If he goes, I go. | 1.8150 | 0.01204 | 4071 | 1647 | 1530 | 894 |
14 | It's pretty much boilerplate, but if you have questions I'll be in the brown suitcase under Phil's desk. | 1.8067 | 0.01175 | 4362 | 1816 | 1573 | 973 |
15 | Here's my resignation. I just don't feel like I have a voice here. | 1.8029 | 0.01093 | 4977 | 2066 | 1826 | 1085 |
16 | At least I know I'm a puppet. | 1.7998 | 0.01218 | 4096 | 1737 | 1442 | 917 |
17 | How do you explain this invoice for a wood chipper? | 1.7955 | 0.01294 | 3951 | 1794 | 1171 | 986 |
18 | I need to speak with you. Alone. | 1.7947 | 0.01670 | 2129 | 895 | 776 | 458 |
19 | Ancestry.com says your desk is my uncle. | 1.7903 | 0.01295 | 3929 | 1792 | 1169 | 968 |
20 | The coward behind me. That's who's firing you. | 1.7611 | 0.01275 | 3751 | 1699 | 1249 | 803 |
21 | I'm his right-hand man. | 1.7580 | 0.02327 | 1029 | 441 | 396 | 192 |
22 | You aren’t the first person in this bureau to be fired by a dummy, and you won’t be the last! | 1.7521 | 0.02408 | 1049 | 481 | 347 | 221 |
23 | This is the list of grievances from an employee who wishes to remain anonymous. | 1.7511 | 0.01263 | 3749 | 1704 | 1274 | 771 |
24 | Victor realized his worst nightmare...being fired by some corporate dummy. | 1.7435 | 0.01887 | 1782 | 852 | 535 | 395 |
25 | Apparently, there have been some complaints about micromanagement. | 1.7404 | 0.01873 | 1699 | 784 | 572 | 343 |
26 | Joe, I've got some good news and bad news. The good news is I've been promoted. The bad news is that you've been re-assigned to my position. | 1.7390 | 0.02480 | 1027 | 493 | 309 | 225 |
27 | What did you think dummy corporation meant? | 1.7361 | 0.01320 | 3422 | 1591 | 1143 | 688 |
28 | I closed the deal. Who's the dummy now? | 1.7286 | 0.01938 | 1540 | 711 | 536 | 293 |
29 | Please accept my application for White House Press Secretary. | 1.7264 | 0.01631 | 2610 | 1360 | 604 | 646 |
30 | Watch out, the guy behind me is very manipulative. | 1.7226 | 0.01309 | 3327 | 1538 | 1174 | 615 |
31 | Sure, you may be busy but my boss is literally up my ass. | 1.7213 | 0.01241 | 4219 | 2123 | 1149 | 947 |
32 | There's no easy way to say this: we're downsizing. | 1.7206 | 0.01329 | 3346 | 1586 | 1109 | 651 |
33 | You didn't hear this from me. | 1.7179 | 0.01232 | 3744 | 1740 | 1320 | 684 |
34 | I heard you say you got hired by a dummy. Now you can say you got fired by one too. | 1.7157 | 0.01321 | 3444 | 1664 | 1095 | 685 |
35 | Dammit, Jim! The boss is up my ass again about your report! | 1.6925 | 0.02475 | 979 | 490 | 300 | 189 |
36 | Now Mr. Littles will fire you while I drink a glass of water. | 1.6883 | 0.02593 | 895 | 452 | 270 | 173 |
37 | Here's my resume. Do you mind if my friend stays for the interview? | 1.6838 | 0.01389 | 2913 | 1424 | 986 | 503 |
38 | Read my lips. | 1.6827 | 0.01452 | 2739 | 1363 | 882 | 494 |
39 | Would you like to see him fire you while drinking a glass of water? | 1.6675 | 0.01459 | 2728 | 1396 | 843 | 489 |
40 | You’ve been subpoenaed to appear before the Charlie McCarthy hearings. | 1.6654 | 0.01719 | 2071 | 1096 | 572 | 403 |
41 | Don't ask questions. Just set up the dummy account. | 1.6633 | 0.01612 | 2165 | 1096 | 702 | 367 |
42 | I'm filing a grievance. He keeps putting words in my mouth. | 1.6613 | 0.01490 | 2548 | 1298 | 815 | 435 |
43 | I'm sorry about this but upper management is forcing my hand. | 1.6569 | 0.01466 | 2571 | 1302 | 849 | 420 |
44 | I'm not firing you, Stewart here is firing you. Believe me, I was just as surprised as you were, Bill. | 1.6568 | 0.01584 | 2241 | 1146 | 718 | 377 |
45 | Let’s not forget who’s pulling the strings around here, Johnson. | 1.6501 | 0.02583 | 823 | 420 | 271 | 132 |
46 | And I don't appreciate your referring to me as 'that dummy from accounting'! | 1.6434 | 0.01460 | 2588 | 1340 | 831 | 417 |
47 | One of your coworkers, I won’t say who, has asked me to give this to you. | 1.6403 | 0.01534 | 2288 | 1175 | 761 | 352 |
48 | I know it feels you’re being micromanaged, but imagine how I feel. | 1.6361 | 0.01833 | 1627 | 848 | 523 | 256 |
49 | I'll need you to pull some strings for me. | 1.6340 | 0.01554 | 2213 | 1144 | 735 | 334 |
50 | He keeps putting words in my mouth. | 1.6181 | 0.02538 | 838 | 447 | 264 | 127 |
51 | I need this done tonight. The boss is up my ass again. | 1.6115 | 0.01979 | 1529 | 870 | 383 | 276 |
52 | We demand time and a half | 1.6070 | 0.01980 | 1407 | 773 | 414 | 220 |
53 | And by the way, George wants to know why you think he is afraid of confrontation. | 1.6053 | 0.01951 | 1391 | 751 | 438 | 202 |
54 | Promotion is mine. Bonus is mine. Your parking space is mine. Who's the dummy now? | 1.6031 | 0.02049 | 1348 | 755 | 373 | 220 |
55 | I'm setting up a dummy corporation. | 1.6030 | 0.02056 | 1345 | 755 | 369 | 221 |
56 | I'm afraid we're downsizing. | 1.6017 | 0.02022 | 1318 | 722 | 399 | 197 |
57 | I need you to tell him that my prostate is fine. | 1.5997 | 0.02972 | 702 | 414 | 155 | 133 |
58 | " Didn't know how to tell you this, but yes- we are down sizing. | 1.5989 | 0.03173 | 536 | 295 | 161 | 80 |
59 | Let’s get cracking, Noonan. Don’t you know tine is noney. | 1.5972 | 0.02400 | 1219 | 772 | 166 | 281 |
60 | He'll review most of the contract and I will be reviewing the small print. | 1.5969 | 0.02038 | 1233 | 664 | 402 | 167 |
61 | I'd like to report an inappropriate touching. | 1.5950 | 0.02128 | 1195 | 663 | 353 | 179 |
62 | I’m the new micromanager. | 1.5950 | 0.02167 | 1195 | 675 | 329 | 191 |
63 | I'd like to file a complaint for inappropriate touching. | 1.5937 | 0.02213 | 1179 | 677 | 304 | 198 |
64 | Who's the dummy now Carl? You're fired! | 1.5929 | 0.02165 | 1162 | 649 | 337 | 176 |
65 | This is a list of the times he has touched me inappropriately. | 1.5904 | 0.02305 | 1123 | 659 | 265 | 199 |
66 | I'd like to set up a dummy corporation. | 1.5889 | 0.02192 | 1097 | 607 | 334 | 156 |
67 | You know what I said about how any dummy can do your job? | 1.5887 | 0.02185 | 1094 | 603 | 338 | 153 |
68 | Here’s the new org chart. You’re now reporting to my right hand man. | 1.5853 | 0.02254 | 1049 | 587 | 310 | 152 |
69 | I expect this done before I get back into my suitcase. | 1.5837 | 0.02154 | 1028 | 548 | 360 | 120 |
70 | The good news is, you're not being replaced by a robot. | 1.5832 | 0.02276 | 950 | 514 | 318 | 118 |
71 | I'd appreciate it if you stop putting words in my mouth. | 1.5817 | 0.02312 | 997 | 561 | 292 | 144 |
72 | He's the new White House Press Secretary. | 1.5787 | 0.02473 | 959 | 568 | 227 | 164 |
73 | Hi, I'm Doug, Corporate's new non-confrontational conflict resolution dummy: you're fired. | 1.5783 | 0.02333 | 951 | 531 | 290 | 130 |
74 | Johnson, I couldn't help but notice the size of your hands...I think there's room for you in management. | 1.5777 | 0.02406 | 952 | 548 | 258 | 146 |
75 | Now, my partner's also had a hand in preparing this proposal. | 1.5759 | 0.02325 | 922 | 508 | 297 | 117 |
76 | This way if you kill the messenger, no one gets hurt. | 1.5753 | 0.02412 | 916 | 521 | 263 | 132 |
77 | Here’s my Unwanted Touching in the Workplace complaint. | 1.5749 | 0.02493 | 915 | 537 | 230 | 148 |
78 | As you can see, we're downsizing. | 1.5724 | 0.02429 | 884 | 500 | 262 | 122 |
79 | You're fired! Wanna hear me say it again while he drinks a glass of water? | 1.5692 | 0.02499 | 852 | 489 | 241 | 122 |
80 | I dont mean to keep checking in, but the boss has been up my ass all day | 1.5689 | 0.02646 | 849 | 514 | 187 | 148 |
81 | Come on buddy, I’m not the only one being manipulated here! | 1.5689 | 0.02462 | 849 | 480 | 255 | 114 |
82 | I think I may have misinterpreted last week's memo about reducing the size of the staff. | 1.5687 | 0.02495 | 844 | 482 | 244 | 118 |
83 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment claim against the guy behind me. | 1.5684 | 0.02553 | 841 | 490 | 224 | 127 |
84 | Is this HR? I'd like to file this report about some inappropriate touching. | 1.5662 | 0.02614 | 823 | 487 | 206 | 130 |
85 | Remember, you didn't hear it from me. | 1.5649 | 0.02525 | 809 | 461 | 239 | 109 |
86 | If it were up to me we’d keep you, but I’m not pulling the strings. | 1.5645 | 0.02569 | 806 | 466 | 225 | 115 |
87 | Don't blame me. Management has been completely up my ass on this one. | 1.5643 | 0.02635 | 801 | 473 | 204 | 124 |
88 | This guys been up my ass all day | 1.5631 | 0.02700 | 792 | 477 | 184 | 131 |
89 | We're downsizing. You're next. | 1.5625 | 0.02587 | 784 | 452 | 223 | 109 |
90 | I need you to set up a dummy corporation. | 1.5623 | 0.02717 | 786 | 475 | 180 | 131 |
91 | No more “dummy” jokes! The term is “Artificial American.” | 1.5594 | 0.02740 | 758 | 456 | 180 | 122 |
92 | Your review says you hide behind others and don't take ownership. | 1.5585 | 0.02666 | 752 | 440 | 204 | 108 |
93 | Rewrite this so that even a dummy can understand it. | 1.5574 | 0.02607 | 741 | 423 | 223 | 95 |
94 | You need to be more like Johnson, here. He's always got my back. | 1.5546 | 0.02616 | 714 | 404 | 224 | 86 |
95 | So you think it’s funny to refer to me as a laptop. | 1.5546 | 0.02697 | 714 | 415 | 202 | 97 |
96 | Here's proof that any dummy can do your job. | 1.5532 | 0.02687 | 705 | 407 | 206 | 92 |
97 | Norman, with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, suddenly realized that for all these years he'd been working for a dummy corporation. | 1.5532 | 0.02679 | 705 | 406 | 208 | 91 |
98 | In all honesty, without the support of my staff, I’m nothing. | 1.5517 | 0.02713 | 696 | 404 | 200 | 92 |
99 | It's 2018, and we avoid offensive labels like "dummy" in the workplace Tom. | 1.5500 | 0.02747 | 680 | 396 | 194 | 90 |
100 | I told him to keep his mouth shut and let me do all the talking. | 1.5490 | 0.02668 | 674 | 382 | 214 | 78 |
101 | This brings a whole new meaning to micro-management | 1.5477 | 0.02774 | 661 | 385 | 190 | 86 |
102 | This should clear him of the allegations. I’m the one who actually made the inappropriate remarks. | 1.5467 | 0.02775 | 653 | 379 | 191 | 83 |
103 | As the President's legal representative... | 1.5467 | 0.02955 | 653 | 401 | 147 | 105 |
104 | And working well with others is my strongest attribute. | 1.5460 | 0.02657 | 652 | 365 | 218 | 69 |
105 | So, I guess you didn't think I was big enough to get cc'd on this. | 1.5436 | 0.02822 | 631 | 368 | 183 | 80 |
106 | Is this where I file for separation? | 1.5430 | 0.02859 | 628 | 370 | 175 | 83 |
107 | I’ve seen your report on the dead wood in this office and, frankly Williams, I don’t like it. | 1.5425 | 0.02885 | 623 | 369 | 170 | 84 |
108 | I'm your new micro-manager. | 1.5413 | 0.02907 | 617 | 367 | 166 | 84 |
109 | Can you get this done ASAP? The boss has been up my ass about it all day. | 1.5413 | 0.02889 | 617 | 365 | 170 | 82 |
110 | I need you to rewrite this speech. Go easy on the Ms, Bs and Ps. | 1.5407 | 0.02835 | 614 | 357 | 182 | 75 |
111 | I’m of two minds about this. | 1.5401 | 0.02827 | 611 | 354 | 184 | 73 |
112 | Here's your Performance Review. Who's the dummy NOW, Dave? | 1.5397 | 0.02889 | 604 | 355 | 172 | 77 |
113 | I'm going to read your report while my assistant here drinks a glass of water. | 1.5396 | 0.02863 | 606 | 354 | 177 | 75 |
114 | Michael Cohen. Attorney at law. | 1.5354 | 0.03073 | 579 | 355 | 138 | 86 |
115 | In this case, you can shoot the messenger. | 1.5346 | 0.02922 | 563 | 327 | 171 | 65 |
116 | The Boss thought it would be best if you heard it from me. | 1.5342 | 0.02944 | 571 | 336 | 165 | 70 |
117 | I've been downsized. | 1.5340 | 0.02988 | 573 | 342 | 156 | 75 |
118 | I'm the CEO's right-hand man. | 1.5321 | 0.02998 | 560 | 333 | 156 | 71 |
119 | Unlike me, the report speaks for itself. | 1.5287 | 0.03100 | 541 | 328 | 140 | 73 |
120 | Of course he qualifies as an emotional support animal. I can’t fuction without him. | 1.5283 | 0.03074 | 547 | 331 | 143 | 73 |
121 | I pulled a few strings and got you that promotion! | 1.5280 | 0.03032 | 536 | 318 | 153 | 65 |
122 | "And exactly why can't we file a joint return"? | 1.5280 | 0.02997 | 536 | 315 | 159 | 62 |
123 | Next time, CC both of us! | 1.5271 | 0.03036 | 535 | 318 | 152 | 65 |
124 | Remember, you didn't hear it from me. | 1.5264 | 0.02963 | 530 | 308 | 165 | 57 |
125 | Are you the dummy that wrote this memo? | 1.5242 | 0.03116 | 517 | 311 | 141 | 65 |
126 | This report you wrote is a disgrace! What do you take me for? | 1.5233 | 0.03141 | 514 | 311 | 137 | 66 |
127 | I'm requisitioning a copy of "Microsoft Word for Dummies." | 1.5226 | 0.03177 | 509 | 310 | 132 | 67 |
128 | The boss is really up my ass on this one. | 1.5210 | 0.03265 | 501 | 311 | 119 | 71 |
129 | It's from the small claims court. | 1.5193 | 0.03113 | 493 | 293 | 144 | 56 |
130 | You're fired but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.5193 | 0.03126 | 493 | 294 | 142 | 57 |
131 | I'd like to file a complaint from someone in accounting who would prefer to remain anonymous. | 1.5184 | 0.03150 | 488 | 292 | 139 | 57 |
132 | In this case, you may blame the messenger. | 1.5184 | 0.03114 | 490 | 291 | 144 | 55 |
133 | Here are the papers for the dummy corporation you asked for. | 1.5167 | 0.03203 | 480 | 290 | 132 | 58 |
134 | I'm the independent mediator your boss brought in. Turns out he's right, you're wrong. | 1.5166 | 0.03220 | 482 | 293 | 129 | 60 |
135 | I am the new Communications Director. | 1.5166 | 0.03273 | 482 | 297 | 121 | 64 |
136 | You have a problem, you speak to me directly. | 1.5139 | 0.03287 | 469 | 288 | 121 | 60 |
137 | Remember Remember, if anyone asks where you get your insider information, you tell them it's from some dummy in the "white house". | 1.5130 | 0.03436 | 462 | 293 | 101 | 68 |
138 | This isn't exactly what I had in mind when the boss said I'd be his 'right-hand man,' but I'm getting used to it. | 1.5121 | 0.03171 | 455 | 269 | 139 | 47 |
139 | Judging by all the typos in your memo, Jenkins, I think it's clear who the real dummy is. | 1.5120 | 0.03255 | 459 | 278 | 127 | 54 |
140 | The guy behind me wants to give you a raise. I'm the one firing you. | 1.5111 | 0.03232 | 452 | 271 | 131 | 50 |
141 | I don't appreciate your memo dismissing me as a mouthpiece for upper management. | 1.5110 | 0.03329 | 456 | 281 | 117 | 58 |
142 | I only talk through my attorney. | 1.5110 | 0.03211 | 456 | 273 | 133 | 50 |
143 | Slowly it was dawning on Bob that the CEO was only a puppet! | 1.5100 | 0.03383 | 449 | 279 | 111 | 59 |
144 | This place doesn’t seem to care about the little guy anymore. | 1.5100 | 0.03191 | 451 | 268 | 136 | 47 |
145 | You didn’t hear it from me. | 1.5089 | 0.03191 | 448 | 266 | 136 | 46 |
146 | It's the new White House communication system it gives everyone plausible deniability. | 1.5080 | 0.03426 | 439 | 274 | 107 | 58 |
147 | I'd like you to meet your new micromanager. | 1.5080 | 0.03349 | 439 | 269 | 117 | 53 |
148 | My client has the right to remain silent. | 1.5079 | 0.03342 | 443 | 272 | 117 | 54 |
149 | I’m sorry, Jim. We’re downsizing. | 1.5079 | 0.03327 | 443 | 271 | 119 | 53 |
150 | HE may have signed a confidentiality agreement, but I didn't! | 1.5058 | 0.03283 | 431 | 259 | 126 | 46 |
151 | This isn't coming from me. | 1.5057 | 0.03325 | 435 | 265 | 120 | 50 |
152 | I'm just the middleman. | 1.5057 | 0.03245 | 435 | 260 | 130 | 45 |
153 | I'm in training for Republican Senator. What's your deal? | 1.5057 | 0.03586 | 435 | 282 | 86 | 67 |
154 | Yeah, I have a problem... our health care plan doesn't cover termites! | 1.5047 | 0.03418 | 430 | 267 | 109 | 54 |
155 | Why yes, I was an anchor with Sinclair Broadcast Group. | 1.5036 | 0.03647 | 421 | 274 | 82 | 65 |
156 | Sorry, but I'm just the messenger. | 1.5035 | 0.03208 | 423 | 249 | 135 | 39 |
157 | This is his resignation. I'm staying. | 1.5035 | 0.03367 | 425 | 260 | 116 | 49 |
158 | I can even fire you while he drinks a glass of water. | 1.5024 | 0.03492 | 418 | 262 | 102 | 54 |
159 | You think you can manipulate me?! | 1.5024 | 0.03312 | 420 | 253 | 123 | 44 |
160 | My client and I speak with one voice. | 1.5012 | 0.03363 | 417 | 254 | 117 | 46 |
161 | Here's my resume for White House Press Officer. | 1.5012 | 0.03611 | 417 | 269 | 87 | 61 |
162 | The boss says we need to downsize. | 1.5000 | 0.03393 | 412 | 252 | 114 | 46 |
163 | is this your tweet that calls me a dummy with little hands? | 1.4988 | 0.03691 | 403 | 262 | 81 | 60 |
164 | He didn't want to be the one to have to tell you. | 1.4975 | 0.03438 | 402 | 247 | 110 | 45 |
165 | I dictated this while drinking a glass of water. | 1.4975 | 0.03456 | 402 | 248 | 108 | 46 |
166 | You think the boss is up YOUR butt? | 1.4975 | 0.03544 | 402 | 253 | 98 | 51 |
167 | I'm his emotional support dummy. | 1.4962 | 0.03364 | 399 | 241 | 118 | 40 |
168 | If you knew where his hand is you'd understand why I'm filing the grievance. | 1.4949 | 0.03722 | 394 | 257 | 79 | 58 |
169 | Can you believe our moron of a boss wants us to follow this ridiculous......oh, he's right behind me, isn't he. | 1.4949 | 0.03590 | 390 | 246 | 95 | 49 |
170 | For tax purposes, we're creating a dummy corporation. | 1.4936 | 0.03583 | 391 | 247 | 95 | 49 |
171 | He didn’t want to tell you himself. | 1.4935 | 0.03549 | 385 | 240 | 100 | 45 |
172 | I said, “ Single filing jointly!” | 1.4935 | 0.03511 | 385 | 238 | 104 | 43 |
173 | I've been downsized. | 1.4935 | 0.03492 | 385 | 237 | 106 | 42 |
174 | As an Inanimate-American, I am entitled to the same workplace protections that the rest of you enjoy. Here's a list of pronouns not to call me. | 1.4908 | 0.03610 | 379 | 239 | 94 | 46 |
175 | Management and I speak with one voice on this. | 1.4908 | 0.03472 | 379 | 232 | 108 | 39 |
176 | What do you mean I can't expense Paul? He's my right hand man. | 1.4907 | 0.03663 | 377 | 240 | 89 | 48 |
177 | I heard you wanted a second opinion. | 1.4907 | 0.03486 | 377 | 231 | 107 | 39 |
178 | You asked for a second opinion? | 1.4907 | 0.03716 | 375 | 241 | 84 | 50 |
179 | My colleague speaks for both of us. | 1.4907 | 0.03479 | 375 | 229 | 108 | 38 |
180 | Don't blame me. I'm just the mouthpiece. | 1.4892 | 0.03499 | 372 | 228 | 106 | 38 |
181 | You can pick up your final paycheck from Lamb Chop in Payroll. | 1.4892 | 0.03797 | 372 | 243 | 76 | 53 |
182 | Another anonymous complaint about cancelling the company talent show this year. | 1.4878 | 0.03561 | 369 | 229 | 100 | 40 |
183 | Harold, when I asked you to make me a copy, this is not what I meant. | 1.4877 | 0.03575 | 367 | 228 | 99 | 40 |
184 | I'll have my people talk through your people. | 1.4877 | 0.03590 | 365 | 227 | 98 | 40 |
185 | Everything goes through me! | 1.4877 | 0.03590 | 365 | 227 | 98 | 40 |
186 | Well, they are officially downsizing our staff. | 1.4862 | 0.03547 | 362 | 223 | 102 | 37 |
187 | HR said only a dummy would respond to your complaint in writing. | 1.4862 | 0.03674 | 362 | 229 | 90 | 43 |
188 | There’s nothing I can do, it’s coming from higher up. | 1.4862 | 0.03526 | 362 | 222 | 104 | 36 |
189 | The boss wants revisions, but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.4846 | 0.03796 | 357 | 231 | 79 | 47 |
190 | Stop putting words in my mouth. | 1.4831 | 0.03677 | 356 | 225 | 90 | 41 |
191 | You're right. He did move his lips. But, you're still fired. | 1.4829 | 0.03657 | 350 | 219 | 93 | 38 |
192 | NO RAISE ?? Then I need a hand out. | 1.4814 | 0.03904 | 349 | 230 | 70 | 49 |
193 | Oh great, now I work for 2 dummies. | 1.4812 | 0.03830 | 345 | 223 | 78 | 44 |
194 | This micro-management has affected us all, Bob. | 1.4797 | 0.03681 | 344 | 216 | 91 | 37 |
195 | Stop whining - I've just been downsized myself! | 1.4797 | 0.03704 | 344 | 217 | 89 | 38 |
196 | The bad news is we're letting you go. The good news is you get to stay and operate your replacement. | 1.4797 | 0.03516 | 344 | 209 | 105 | 30 |
197 | You keep asking who is the dummy in H.R. well, here I am. | 1.4780 | 0.03727 | 341 | 216 | 87 | 38 |
198 | The main problem with your writing is you haven’t really found your own voice. | 1.4780 | 0.03681 | 341 | 214 | 91 | 36 |
199 | I would like to file an official complaint. Please tell my manager to stop breathing over my neck and putting words in my mouth. | 1.4779 | 0.03720 | 339 | 214 | 88 | 37 |
200 | I'm looking for a new assistant. One that's a little less hands on. | 1.4779 | 0.03697 | 339 | 213 | 90 | 36 |
201 | Here's a list of women I want paid off that I know nothing about. | 1.4776 | 0.03870 | 335 | 217 | 76 | 42 |
202 | So what if you can see his lips moving? You're still fired. | 1.4760 | 0.03564 | 334 | 204 | 101 | 29 |
203 | He's learning to delegate. | 1.4758 | 0.03696 | 330 | 206 | 91 | 33 |
204 | His lips aren't moving but his face says you're fired. | 1.4758 | 0.03464 | 330 | 197 | 109 | 24 |
205 | Don't blame me, I am only the messenger. | 1.4745 | 0.03721 | 333 | 210 | 88 | 35 |
206 | It's not fake news. Look at me. Am I fake? | 1.4745 | 0.03769 | 333 | 212 | 84 | 37 |
207 | I hate to do this but the big man says you're fired | 1.4742 | 0.03653 | 329 | 204 | 94 | 31 |
208 | Apparently I've been downsized. | 1.4740 | 0.03745 | 327 | 206 | 87 | 34 |
209 | I an sorry to retort that your jod is deing elininated. | 1.4738 | 0.03886 | 325 | 210 | 76 | 39 |
210 | Carl discovered his new boss really was a dummy | 1.4720 | 0.03913 | 322 | 209 | 74 | 39 |
211 | You expect me to believe this? Do I look like some kind of dummy? | 1.4720 | 0.03710 | 322 | 201 | 90 | 31 |
212 | I'm a dummy. What's your excuse? | 1.4719 | 0.04005 | 320 | 211 | 67 | 42 |
213 | I am the bearer of fake news. | 1.4702 | 0.03864 | 319 | 205 | 78 | 36 |
214 | Could you get this report in by five? The boss has been up my ass about it. | 1.4702 | 0.04014 | 319 | 211 | 66 | 42 |
215 | HR will be contacting you on your book proposal, 'Climbing the Corporate Ladder for Dummies.' | 1.4698 | 0.03742 | 315 | 197 | 88 | 30 |
216 | Sshhh, he's right behind me! It's all in this written complaint. | 1.4696 | 0.03704 | 313 | 194 | 91 | 28 |
217 | For the last time, yes, you need to take it even if his lips don’t move when I say “subpoena” | 1.4677 | 0.04025 | 310 | 204 | 67 | 39 |
218 | Of course they're dummy accounts. | 1.4656 | 0.04021 | 305 | 200 | 68 | 37 |
219 | Here's my HR complaint - calling me a "dummy" creates a hostile work environment. | 1.4656 | 0.03828 | 305 | 193 | 82 | 30 |
220 | Read my lips...You are fired | 1.4656 | 0.03884 | 305 | 195 | 78 | 32 |
221 | Did you send this memo on passive-aggressive communication in the work place? | 1.4653 | 0.03958 | 303 | 196 | 73 | 34 |
222 | Johnson, I was going to dazzle you by handing you this memo while sitting in a large man's arms and speaking to you without moving my lips, but instead I'm very distracted by the size of your tiny hands. | 1.4636 | 0.04077 | 302 | 200 | 64 | 38 |
223 | We're doing all we can not to make this personal. | 1.4633 | 0.03902 | 300 | 192 | 77 | 31 |
224 | My short list, and no, I don’t see the irony.” | 1.4633 | 0.03727 | 300 | 186 | 89 | 25 |
225 | Read my lips.......not his!! | 1.4631 | 0.03744 | 298 | 185 | 88 | 25 |
226 | Did you write this memo, 'Office Etiquette for Dummies'? | 1.4631 | 0.03950 | 298 | 192 | 74 | 32 |
227 | I quit. I'm sick of living hand to mouth. | 1.4631 | 0.03950 | 298 | 192 | 74 | 32 |
228 | Pay no attention to that sympathetic man behind me. You're fired. | 1.4628 | 0.04027 | 296 | 193 | 69 | 34 |
229 | Here's the info you wanted on my dummy corporation. | 1.4628 | 0.03970 | 296 | 191 | 73 | 32 |
230 | It all started when I read this book 'Management for Dummies.' | 1.4613 | 0.03930 | 297 | 191 | 75 | 31 |
231 | Look, this is more uncomfortable for me than it is for you. | 1.4610 | 0.03979 | 295 | 191 | 72 | 32 |
232 | There's no easy way to say this. | 1.4605 | 0.03838 | 291 | 183 | 82 | 26 |
233 | Hey, it's really hard to say "pink slip" without moving your lips. | 1.4605 | 0.03959 | 291 | 187 | 74 | 30 |
234 | Trust me. You don't want Frank to give it to you, I know where his hand has been. | 1.4605 | 0.04164 | 291 | 194 | 60 | 37 |
235 | You're putting words in my mouth! | 1.4605 | 0.03959 | 291 | 187 | 74 | 30 |
236 | You didn't hear this from me. | 1.4589 | 0.03797 | 292 | 183 | 84 | 25 |
237 | Here’s my formal complaint about inappropriate touching in the workplace. | 1.4586 | 0.04116 | 290 | 192 | 63 | 35 |
238 | Hey Steve, just got your request for transfer. What seems to be the issue? | 1.4583 | 0.04167 | 288 | 192 | 60 | 36 |
239 | Read his lips: you’re fired. | 1.4583 | 0.04019 | 288 | 187 | 70 | 31 |
240 | What? You didn't know this was a dummy corporation? | 1.4580 | 0.03853 | 286 | 180 | 81 | 25 |
241 | He can't talk because of this nondisclosure agreement | 1.4580 | 0.04070 | 286 | 187 | 67 | 32 |
242 | According to this complaint--you're another one who's been talking behind my back | 1.4580 | 0.03885 | 286 | 181 | 79 | 26 |
243 | Yours is a layoff, mine was a downsizing. | 1.4580 | 0.04009 | 286 | 185 | 71 | 30 |
244 | Don't try to put words in my mouth. | 1.4564 | 0.03967 | 287 | 185 | 73 | 29 |
245 | Read my lips: You're fired. | 1.4561 | 0.03988 | 285 | 184 | 72 | 29 |
246 | You think this is bad? You should see where his hand goes. | 1.4552 | 0.04236 | 279 | 187 | 57 | 35 |
247 | I don't like giving orders to clowns any more than you like getting them from dummies, but that's the job. | 1.4532 | 0.03863 | 278 | 175 | 80 | 23 |
248 | I need 3 copies of this and a thimble of coffee on my desk now! | 1.4529 | 0.03916 | 276 | 175 | 77 | 24 |
249 | Sorry to dump this on you, he's been up my ass all day about it. | 1.4529 | 0.04422 | 276 | 191 | 45 | 40 |
250 | Sorry we have to let you go,and he's not man enough to tell you himself. | 1.4526 | 0.04037 | 274 | 177 | 70 | 27 |
251 | At least you get to sit on a chair. | 1.4502 | 0.04135 | 271 | 178 | 64 | 29 |
252 | I’d like to file a sexual harassment suit agains the guy with his hand in my pants. | 1.4502 | 0.04297 | 271 | 183 | 54 | 34 |
253 | Here's the report... btw, Jeff's still not talking to you. | 1.4502 | 0.04167 | 271 | 179 | 62 | 30 |
254 | ...but you didn’t hear it from me. | 1.4498 | 0.03952 | 269 | 171 | 75 | 23 |
255 | I may be a dummy, Bob. But I’m not an idiot. | 1.4494 | 0.04279 | 267 | 179 | 56 | 32 |
256 | Some tough news for you Jones. The company has begun downsizing. | 1.4494 | 0.04077 | 267 | 173 | 68 | 26 |
257 | This way, he can claim he never talked to you about this payoff. | 1.4494 | 0.04112 | 267 | 174 | 66 | 27 |
258 | My resume speaks for itself. | 1.4494 | 0.04112 | 267 | 174 | 66 | 27 |
259 | Excel for Dummies?! Is this supposed to be funny?! Well I don’t see anybody around here laughing, do you?! | 1.4494 | 0.04279 | 267 | 179 | 56 | 32 |
260 | This doctor's note confirms it. NO COLLUSION between me and the gentleman behind me!!! | 1.4474 | 0.04017 | 266 | 171 | 71 | 24 |
261 | Here's my human resources complaint: inappropriate touching! | 1.4474 | 0.04122 | 266 | 174 | 65 | 27 |
262 | Its something Michael Cohen taught me. It provides a certain level of plausible deniability. | 1.4474 | 0.04389 | 266 | 182 | 49 | 35 |
263 | So, Carl...when I said 'copy me on that email'...I didn't mean make an actual copy of me holding the email. | 1.4474 | 0.04190 | 266 | 176 | 61 | 29 |
264 | Sorry, Smithers! There’s no room for dummies in this office! | 1.4470 | 0.03967 | 264 | 168 | 74 | 22 |
265 | You said any dummy could do it. | 1.4470 | 0.04074 | 264 | 171 | 68 | 25 |
266 | I'd like to submit my resume for the open communications director position with the Trump administration. I know I may seem overqualified, but... | 1.4466 | 0.04132 | 262 | 171 | 65 | 26 |
267 | As you may have heard, we're downsizing. | 1.4440 | 0.04307 | 259 | 174 | 55 | 30 |
268 | Oh yeah? You think you're being micromanaged.. you have no idea. | 1.4436 | 0.04366 | 257 | 174 | 52 | 31 |
269 | I think I’m being manipulated.... | 1.4436 | 0.04041 | 257 | 165 | 70 | 22 |
270 | If you like, my associate can drink coffee while I read you the warrant. | 1.4436 | 0.04078 | 257 | 166 | 68 | 23 |
271 | This is not what I meant when I said, "Make me a copy." | 1.4431 | 0.04285 | 255 | 170 | 57 | 28 |
272 | Congratulations, you're his new right-hand man. | 1.4431 | 0.04063 | 255 | 164 | 69 | 22 |
273 | I'm giving voice to the voiceless | 1.4405 | 0.04134 | 252 | 164 | 65 | 23 |
274 | For future reference, the job title is "CEO" not "that dummy in charge". | 1.4405 | 0.04134 | 252 | 164 | 65 | 23 |
275 | There will be no more sharpening of wooden pencils. It makes for a hostile work environment. | 1.4405 | 0.04134 | 252 | 164 | 65 | 23 |
276 | Your department is being downsized next, Wilkins. | 1.4405 | 0.04096 | 252 | 163 | 67 | 22 |
277 | It's my idea for a new book: Ventriloquism for Dummies. | 1.4400 | 0.04309 | 250 | 167 | 56 | 27 |
278 | This guy is a real pain in my ass too | 1.4400 | 0.04196 | 250 | 164 | 62 | 24 |
279 | The man standing behind me likes you. I'm the one who thinks you're an incompetent moron. This man behind me, he thinks you're a tremendous guy. | 1.4400 | 0.04272 | 250 | 166 | 58 | 26 |
280 | Hey, can you watch my new ventr-- oh holy fuck what happened to your right hand? | 1.4398 | 0.04619 | 241 | 167 | 42 | 32 |
281 | I know it's last minute, but the boss is really up my ass on this one. | 1.4395 | 0.04661 | 248 | 175 | 37 | 36 |
282 | Try to forget where Steve's hand is and just sign this birthday card for Joel in accounting. | 1.4395 | 0.04335 | 248 | 166 | 55 | 27 |
283 | Bob started to suspect "Bring Your Dummy to Work Day" was not really a thing. | 1.4395 | 0.03771 | 248 | 152 | 83 | 13 |
284 | Here's the official memo...we're being downsized. | 1.4390 | 0.04044 | 246 | 157 | 70 | 19 |
285 | Can you believe it? Another memo on how to improve our communication skills. | 1.4375 | 0.04028 | 240 | 152 | 71 | 17 |
286 | And as Ed met the new HR Rep, he sudendly felt better about his small hands | 1.4367 | 0.04410 | 245 | 166 | 51 | 28 |
287 | Here is my formal sexual harassment complaint against that guy that always follows me. | 1.4367 | 0.04095 | 245 | 158 | 67 | 20 |
288 | If we’re going to make books “for Dummies,” the pages need to be even smaller | 1.4367 | 0.04295 | 245 | 163 | 57 | 25 |
289 | Let me dumb this down for you | 1.4362 | 0.04320 | 243 | 162 | 56 | 25 |
290 | The term is little person, thank you. | 1.4362 | 0.04241 | 243 | 160 | 60 | 23 |
291 | Sorry for the short notice. | 1.4362 | 0.04077 | 243 | 156 | 68 | 19 |
292 | Sure it's a dummy contract. And your point is . . . | 1.4357 | 0.04101 | 241 | 155 | 67 | 19 |
293 | Sorry, Steve. I'm the boss's new right-hand man. But you're lucky. Look where his left hand is. | 1.4355 | 0.04100 | 248 | 161 | 66 | 21 |
294 | You're being down sized. | 1.4355 | 0.04256 | 248 | 165 | 58 | 25 |
295 | And, lastly, here is MY demand that he remove his hand. | 1.4351 | 0.04250 | 239 | 157 | 60 | 22 |
296 | I resign. The time is right to pursue a career in politics. | 1.4350 | 0.04396 | 246 | 167 | 51 | 28 |
297 | Have your puppet call my puppet. | 1.4328 | 0.04384 | 238 | 160 | 53 | 25 |
298 | It's not as bad as you think, his hands are tiny. | 1.4328 | 0.04659 | 238 | 167 | 39 | 32 |
299 | You think I'M a pain in the ass, you should meet my boss! | 1.4322 | 0.04452 | 236 | 160 | 50 | 26 |
300 | You need to finish this project yourself. I can only do two things at one time. | 1.4322 | 0.04287 | 236 | 156 | 58 | 22 |
301 | Would you mind reading this for me? I have glass eyes. | 1.4322 | 0.04202 | 236 | 154 | 62 | 20 |
302 | A memo from our dummy corporation | 1.4322 | 0.03981 | 236 | 149 | 72 | 15 |
303 | He's going to have to let you go. | 1.4322 | 0.04329 | 236 | 157 | 56 | 23 |
304 | Here's the short list. | 1.4316 | 0.04680 | 234 | 164 | 39 | 31 |
305 | If corporations can be people, so can I. | 1.4316 | 0.04561 | 234 | 161 | 45 | 28 |
306 | Mr. IRS agent I am not sure about this audit. I receive no income and live in a suitcase. | 1.4316 | 0.04438 | 234 | 158 | 51 | 25 |
307 | Sorry, it comes from higher up. | 1.4310 | 0.04163 | 232 | 150 | 64 | 18 |
308 | I think this speaks for itself. | 1.4310 | 0.04247 | 239 | 158 | 59 | 22 |
309 | Here is a list of pronouns I find acceptable. | 1.4298 | 0.04298 | 235 | 156 | 57 | 22 |
310 | How about you try working up this report without moving YOUR lips. How about that? | 1.4286 | 0.03990 | 231 | 146 | 71 | 14 |
311 | And now, watch Mr. Davenport drink a glass of water while I fire you. | 1.4286 | 0.04307 | 231 | 153 | 57 | 21 |
312 | Human Resources wants to talk to you about your recent use of the word 'dummy'. | 1.4273 | 0.04361 | 227 | 151 | 55 | 21 |
313 | I don't do words that begin with a "P" or a "B". | 1.4273 | 0.04270 | 227 | 149 | 59 | 19 |
314 | I alone am responsible for writing this scathing critique of your work. | 1.4267 | 0.04249 | 232 | 153 | 59 | 20 |
315 | If you don’t believe me, I’ll have him drink a glass of water while I say it again. | 1.4267 | 0.04433 | 225 | 151 | 52 | 22 |
316 | You’ve just been served by Fun Subpoenas LLC. | 1.4267 | 0.04522 | 225 | 153 | 48 | 24 |
317 | I'm head of HR because I can say things that the moron holding me doesn't have the guts to say. By the way, you're fired. | 1.4241 | 0.04261 | 224 | 147 | 59 | 18 |
318 | Jenkins, is this your memo I found in the break room that says that I am 'just a corporate puppet'? | 1.4241 | 0.04354 | 224 | 149 | 55 | 20 |
319 | Sorry Bill, but we’re downsizing. | 1.4234 | 0.04739 | 222 | 156 | 38 | 28 |
320 | He bet he could fire you without moving his lips. | 1.4234 | 0.04428 | 222 | 149 | 52 | 21 |
321 | Don't look at him, I'm giving you the instructions. | 1.4234 | 0.04519 | 222 | 151 | 48 | 23 |
322 | We had to pull a lot of strings but we got the contract | 1.4234 | 0.04288 | 222 | 146 | 58 | 18 |
323 | I resign! Apparently, I don't have any voice around here. | 1.4234 | 0.04428 | 222 | 149 | 52 | 21 |
324 | Bob, I'm afraid we're downsizing | 1.4234 | 0.04564 | 222 | 152 | 46 | 24 |
325 | How do you use a fax machine? I’m asking for a friend. | 1.4234 | 0.04382 | 222 | 148 | 54 | 20 |
326 | I think I speak for myself when I say these numbers are unacceptable. | 1.4222 | 0.04430 | 225 | 152 | 51 | 22 |
327 | I heard that people have been talking behind my back, and I just won't stand for that. | 1.4220 | 0.04438 | 218 | 146 | 52 | 20 |
328 | I am not his puppet. I am a hostage. And here are his demands. | 1.4220 | 0.04532 | 218 | 148 | 48 | 22 |
329 | Seriously ?? Focus group ?? He never even opens his mouth. | 1.4220 | 0.04670 | 218 | 151 | 42 | 25 |
330 | Just remember.... you didn’t hear this from me. | 1.4213 | 0.04219 | 216 | 140 | 61 | 15 |
331 | I'm not naming names, but "somebody" says you're fired. | 1.4213 | 0.04320 | 216 | 142 | 57 | 17 |
332 | I prefer the term, ‘Left hand man.’ | 1.4213 | 0.04369 | 216 | 143 | 55 | 18 |
333 | Here's his permit to carry arms-- and legs. | 1.4213 | 0.04656 | 216 | 149 | 43 | 24 |
334 | Corporate says someone in the office filed a complaint about micromanagement. | 1.4213 | 0.04515 | 216 | 146 | 49 | 21 |
335 | The downsizing rumors are true! | 1.4213 | 0.04467 | 216 | 145 | 51 | 20 |
336 | Why are you looking at him? I'm the new Secretary of State, and I have a signed note on a Mar a Lago cocktail napkin to prove it. | 1.4213 | 0.04562 | 216 | 147 | 47 | 22 |
337 | My therapist thinks it will help me find my voice at work. | 1.4213 | 0.04168 | 216 | 139 | 63 | 14 |
338 | Suddenly, the layoff notice seemed to be the least of Frank's questions. | 1.4206 | 0.04496 | 214 | 144 | 50 | 20 |
339 | Our commitment to diversity and inclusion has taken a creative turn. | 1.4201 | 0.04326 | 219 | 145 | 56 | 18 |
340 | I'm warning you. If you fire him I'll never talk to you again. | 1.4186 | 0.04528 | 215 | 146 | 48 | 21 |
341 | Here's that secret memo; but you didn't get it from me. | 1.4186 | 0.04480 | 215 | 145 | 50 | 20 |
342 | "Release this to the media. It's a letter from my doctor stating that I am neither wooden nor inanimate but very, very human - maybe the most human he's ever seen! | 1.4186 | 0.04807 | 215 | 152 | 36 | 27 |
343 | I want to file a complaint for sexual harassment. This guy keeps putting his hand up my back and demands that I sit on his lap. | 1.4186 | 0.04716 | 215 | 150 | 40 | 25 |
344 | When I said we're downsizing everything, I meant _everything_. | 1.4178 | 0.04359 | 213 | 141 | 55 | 17 |
345 | Did you get this memo on downsizing? | 1.4178 | 0.04410 | 213 | 142 | 53 | 18 |
346 | You said make copies of everything, right? | 1.4178 | 0.04509 | 213 | 144 | 49 | 20 |
347 | Your request to be treated like an adult has been denied. | 1.4178 | 0.04509 | 213 | 144 | 49 | 20 |
348 | Read his lips: you’re fired. | 1.4178 | 0.04654 | 213 | 147 | 43 | 23 |
349 | This report is nonsense; you think I'm a dummy? | 1.4171 | 0.04489 | 211 | 142 | 50 | 19 |
350 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint. It should be fairly self-explanatory. | 1.4171 | 0.04539 | 211 | 143 | 48 | 20 |
351 | You think this is weird? You should see us in the men's room. | 1.4171 | 0.04781 | 211 | 148 | 38 | 25 |
352 | You're never going to let me live down writing those "Computers for Dummies" books, are you? | 1.4171 | 0.04388 | 211 | 140 | 54 | 17 |
353 | Happy Monday. I'll be your new micro-manager from now on. | 1.4140 | 0.04277 | 215 | 142 | 57 | 16 |
354 | This way, I wasn't the one that told you. | 1.4135 | 0.04268 | 208 | 136 | 58 | 14 |
355 | The last messenger was shot. | 1.4135 | 0.04429 | 208 | 139 | 52 | 17 |
356 | I didn’t say this. You’re putting words in my mouth! | 1.4135 | 0.04268 | 208 | 136 | 58 | 14 |
357 | I'd like to submit an official complaint. My boss is touching me inappropriately. | 1.4135 | 0.04583 | 208 | 142 | 46 | 20 |
358 | I need you to set up a dummy account... | 1.4135 | 0.04532 | 208 | 141 | 48 | 19 |
359 | What is this you wrote on your evaluation about not being able to take your boss seriously? | 1.4135 | 0.04683 | 208 | 144 | 42 | 22 |
360 | I don't mean to be a pain in the ass. Believe me, I know how that feels. | 1.4135 | 0.04532 | 208 | 141 | 48 | 19 |
361 | Bad news from Corporate - we’re downsizing. | 1.4126 | 0.04666 | 206 | 142 | 43 | 21 |
362 | Hey, don't shoot the messenger. | 1.4126 | 0.04458 | 206 | 138 | 51 | 17 |
363 | During layoffs, Charles lets his ‘little friend’ handle the awkward dialogue. | 1.4126 | 0.04563 | 206 | 140 | 47 | 19 |
364 | Here's my application to become a real boy. | 1.4126 | 0.04458 | 206 | 138 | 51 | 17 |
365 | I'm making you an offer with no strings attached. | 1.4126 | 0.04458 | 206 | 138 | 51 | 17 |
366 | We quit! | 1.4126 | 0.04405 | 206 | 137 | 53 | 16 |
367 | Meet the new micromanager | 1.4126 | 0.04615 | 206 | 141 | 45 | 20 |
368 | And remember, Simcox, anyone can be downsized. | 1.4126 | 0.04615 | 206 | 141 | 45 | 20 |
369 | You think any dummy could write this? | 1.4118 | 0.04324 | 204 | 134 | 56 | 14 |
370 | And the next time I want your opinion, I’ll have Jerry here make me ask for it. | 1.4118 | 0.04434 | 204 | 136 | 52 | 16 |
371 | This is an urgent memo from headquarters ordering us to downsize our staff. | 1.4109 | 0.04408 | 202 | 134 | 53 | 15 |
372 | Ventriloquism: The new passive-aggression. | 1.4109 | 0.04731 | 202 | 140 | 41 | 21 |
373 | I have a list of complaints from both of us regarding your wooden demeanor and inability to think outside the box. | 1.4109 | 0.04679 | 202 | 139 | 43 | 20 |
374 | You're fired, but on the plus side, at least you don't have a hand up your ass. | 1.4109 | 0.04573 | 202 | 137 | 47 | 18 |
375 | I can't take full credit; my co-worker had a hand in it. | 1.4109 | 0.04573 | 202 | 137 | 47 | 18 |
376 | I'm filing a harassment claim against Ken. He won't stop touching my behind. | 1.4109 | 0.04626 | 202 | 138 | 45 | 19 |
377 | You're fired! Ha! Now who's the dummy? | 1.4109 | 0.04464 | 202 | 135 | 51 | 16 |
378 | Let's be clear---my recent upgrade from "talking dummy" to "ventriloquist assistant" deserves a hefty jump in salary or this act is moving on. | 1.4109 | 0.04464 | 202 | 135 | 51 | 16 |
379 | Sorry but this is coming from above my head. | 1.4109 | 0.04518 | 202 | 136 | 49 | 17 |
380 | The President thinks firing you with a Tweet is too impersonal. | 1.4109 | 0.04573 | 202 | 137 | 47 | 18 |
381 | They're accusing us of being a dummy corporation. | 1.4109 | 0.04626 | 202 | 138 | 45 | 19 |
382 | Read my lips… He QUITS! | 1.4100 | 0.04659 | 200 | 137 | 44 | 19 |
383 | There's no easy way to say this: we're downsizing. | 1.4100 | 0.04921 | 200 | 142 | 34 | 24 |
384 | To be honest, it was hard to focus on your memo with a hand up my ass. | 1.4100 | 0.04818 | 200 | 140 | 38 | 22 |
385 | Watch! I can fire you without moving my lips. | 1.4100 | 0.04323 | 200 | 131 | 56 | 13 |
386 | Have you seen this report on the pay gap between dummies and ventriloquists? | 1.4089 | 0.04660 | 203 | 140 | 43 | 20 |
387 | Wire the money to this account or the ventriloquist's a dead man. | 1.4089 | 0.04660 | 203 | 140 | 43 | 20 |
388 | I've drawn up the papers for your dummy corporation. | 1.4089 | 0.04608 | 203 | 139 | 45 | 19 |
389 | The speech is great, but can you take out all the p's, b's and m's? | 1.4080 | 0.04693 | 201 | 139 | 42 | 20 |
390 | I don't know who left a copy of 'Management for Dummies" on my desk, but it's been a real game-changer. | 1.4074 | 0.04793 | 189 | 130 | 41 | 18 |
391 | I believe this memo speaks for itself... | 1.4072 | 0.04979 | 194 | 138 | 33 | 23 |
392 | Don't be alarmed, I'm his emotional support dummy. | 1.4070 | 0.04618 | 199 | 136 | 45 | 18 |
393 | I don't just speak for the president, I am the president! | 1.4070 | 0.04988 | 199 | 143 | 31 | 25 |
394 | Looks like corporate is downsizing us again. | 1.4070 | 0.04450 | 199 | 133 | 51 | 15 |
395 | I will never reveal my source. | 1.4070 | 0.04507 | 199 | 134 | 49 | 16 |
396 | Here. Read this. He can't throw his voice. | 1.4070 | 0.04507 | 199 | 134 | 49 | 16 |
397 | We already have enough dummies at the White House. | 1.4070 | 0.04885 | 199 | 141 | 35 | 23 |
398 | There's no easy way for him to say this, but he's letting you go. | 1.4070 | 0.04450 | 199 | 133 | 51 | 15 |
399 | ...It's our fun version of downsizing. Also, you're fired. | 1.4070 | 0.04673 | 199 | 137 | 43 | 19 |
400 | Guess who found a way around your restraining order, Karl? | 1.4070 | 0.04833 | 199 | 140 | 37 | 22 |
401 | What do you mean 'I'm just a mouthpiece of management?!'" | 1.4070 | 0.04618 | 199 | 136 | 45 | 18 |
402 | There's been some downsizing. | 1.4061 | 0.04706 | 197 | 136 | 42 | 19 |
403 | It’s time to get your act together. | 1.4061 | 0.04651 | 197 | 135 | 44 | 18 |
404 | But who speaks for the little guy? | 1.4061 | 0.04651 | 197 | 135 | 44 | 18 |
405 | As you see, I've been downsized 75%. Tomorrow you will be downsized 100%. | 1.4061 | 0.04651 | 197 | 135 | 44 | 18 |
406 | Here, I took the words right out of his mouth. | 1.4061 | 0.04921 | 197 | 140 | 34 | 23 |
407 | We’re being downsized. | 1.4061 | 0.04651 | 197 | 135 | 44 | 18 |
408 | The boss is really up my ass about these reports Jim | 1.4061 | 0.04761 | 197 | 137 | 40 | 20 |
409 | I'm on the short list. | 1.4058 | 0.05599 | 138 | 95 | 30 | 13 |
410 | Is this your requisition for a wood chipper? | 1.4051 | 0.04850 | 195 | 137 | 37 | 21 |
411 | This is our final offer - no strings attached! | 1.4051 | 0.04511 | 195 | 131 | 49 | 15 |
412 | Well, If Putin can have a puppet, why can’t I? | 1.4041 | 0.04886 | 193 | 136 | 36 | 21 |
413 | He doesn't want anything, but here is a list of my demands. | 1.4041 | 0.04423 | 193 | 128 | 52 | 13 |
414 | "He's taken the fifth, but I haven't". | 1.4041 | 0.04718 | 193 | 133 | 42 | 18 |
415 | Any dummy can do your job. And here I am. | 1.4041 | 0.04483 | 193 | 129 | 50 | 14 |
416 | Don't blame me. I'm just the middle man | 1.4041 | 0.04543 | 193 | 130 | 48 | 15 |
417 | It's hard for me to tell you this, but we're downsizing. | 1.4040 | 0.04687 | 198 | 137 | 42 | 19 |
418 | With hands that small, I'm offering you a job to replace this shmuck | 1.4034 | 0.06005 | 119 | 82 | 26 | 11 |
419 | You will see that my resume speaks for itself. | 1.4031 | 0.04694 | 191 | 131 | 43 | 17 |
420 | Today we are beginning a two tier management system. | 1.4021 | 0.04608 | 189 | 128 | 46 | 15 |
421 | Proxy Server... | 1.4021 | 0.04668 | 189 | 129 | 44 | 16 |
422 | It says we need to reduce staff by 75%. But I found a loophole. | 1.4021 | 0.04668 | 189 | 129 | 44 | 16 |
423 | HR approved an emotional support puppet? | 1.4021 | 0.04728 | 189 | 130 | 42 | 17 |
424 | This our best offer - no strings attached. | 1.4021 | 0.04961 | 189 | 134 | 34 | 21 |
425 | Guess who else is getting downsized. | 1.4021 | 0.04846 | 189 | 132 | 38 | 19 |
426 | You wrote this? And you think I'm the dummy? | 1.4021 | 0.04755 | 194 | 135 | 40 | 19 |
427 | The company's reorganizing under a puppet regime. | 1.4021 | 0.04698 | 194 | 134 | 42 | 18 |
428 | We are fed up with working here, although my partner can speak for himself. | 1.4010 | 0.04310 | 192 | 126 | 55 | 11 |
429 | Take this. And remember, you didn’t hear it from me. | 1.4010 | 0.04615 | 192 | 131 | 45 | 16 |
430 | He told me to tell you that one reason he's letting you go is your unwillingness to confront people directly... | 1.4010 | 0.04701 | 197 | 137 | 41 | 19 |
431 | The big guy here wants to fire you, but he doesn't like conflict. So here's your pink slip. | 1.4010 | 0.04645 | 197 | 136 | 43 | 18 |
432 | Good news, we found someone even better that Sarah Huckabee | 1.4000 | 0.04825 | 190 | 133 | 38 | 19 |
433 | I dummied up a resume. | 1.4000 | 0.04447 | 195 | 131 | 50 | 14 |
434 | No matter what, don't let Johnson see this report... he's standing right behind me, isn't he? | 1.4000 | 0.03998 | 185 | 116 | 64 | 5 |
435 | James wishes he was able to give you this in person. | 1.3990 | 0.04596 | 193 | 132 | 45 | 16 |
436 | Is this your opinion or did anyone else have a hand in it? | 1.3990 | 0.04769 | 193 | 135 | 39 | 19 |
437 | I'm here to pay lip service to your request. | 1.3989 | 0.04433 | 188 | 125 | 51 | 12 |
438 | Talk to the hand puppet, because the management puppet isn't listening. | 1.3989 | 0.04802 | 188 | 131 | 39 | 18 |
439 | No, it's an actual To Do List for Dummies. | 1.3989 | 0.04977 | 188 | 134 | 33 | 21 |
440 | You’re fired. Now who’s the dummy? | 1.3989 | 0.04802 | 188 | 131 | 39 | 18 |
441 | He put the words in my mouth. | 1.3989 | 0.04802 | 188 | 131 | 39 | 18 |
442 | If you won't do it for him, do it for me. | 1.3989 | 0.04581 | 183 | 123 | 47 | 13 |
443 | Stop putting words in my mouth, Frank! Willard, you’re fired! | 1.3978 | 0.04778 | 186 | 129 | 40 | 17 |
444 | Take my copy of "Windows for Dummies. | 1.3978 | 0.04655 | 186 | 127 | 44 | 15 |
445 | I’d like to file a harassment complaint about an employee who keeps following me and touching me inappropriately. | 1.3978 | 0.05073 | 186 | 134 | 30 | 22 |
446 | In my orifice NOW! | 1.3978 | 0.04898 | 186 | 131 | 36 | 19 |
447 | I represent a dummy corporation. | 1.3978 | 0.04717 | 186 | 128 | 42 | 16 |
448 | HR says you have to stop asking him where his other hand is. | 1.3978 | 0.04528 | 186 | 125 | 48 | 13 |
449 | It's the charter for my dummy corporation. | 1.3978 | 0.04592 | 186 | 126 | 46 | 14 |
450 | Jenkins, I just got a promotion, so you'll be taking over for me now. Williams will be keeping his position of course. | 1.3978 | 0.04592 | 186 | 126 | 46 | 14 |
451 | Don’t look at him, look at me. | 1.3978 | 0.04655 | 186 | 127 | 44 | 15 |
452 | And in a moment, I am going to fire you while the guy behind me drinks a glass of water. | 1.3978 | 0.04778 | 186 | 129 | 40 | 17 |
453 | Legally, you've had no direct contact with HR. | 1.3978 | 0.04655 | 186 | 127 | 44 | 15 |
454 | Here's my proposal, no strings attached. | 1.3978 | 0.04264 | 186 | 121 | 56 | 9 |
455 | Sexual harassment, Simpson? Those splinters could have come from anywhere. | 1.3967 | 0.04996 | 184 | 131 | 33 | 20 |
456 | It was at this point that Jerry started questioning if the addition of ventriloquists in the company's inclusion policy had gone too far. | 1.3967 | 0.04625 | 184 | 125 | 45 | 14 |
457 | I hate to be the bearer of bad news, so I got a puppet. | 1.3967 | 0.04429 | 184 | 122 | 51 | 11 |
458 | All I'm saying is 'Computers For Dummies' helped me. | 1.3967 | 0.04752 | 184 | 127 | 41 | 16 |
459 | Fenford, your fired fired fired - just kidding, I was practicing my “f”s. | 1.3967 | 0.04996 | 184 | 131 | 33 | 20 |
460 | Johnson, what do you know about these allegations that this is a dummy corporation? | 1.3967 | 0.04814 | 184 | 128 | 39 | 17 |
461 | I'm afraid we've decided to downsize our personnel. | 1.3967 | 0.04689 | 184 | 126 | 43 | 15 |
462 | What do you mean I'm just a mouthpiece? | 1.3967 | 0.04625 | 184 | 125 | 45 | 14 |
463 | If this damn cartoon had some color, you'd realize it's your pink slip. | 1.3956 | 0.04659 | 182 | 124 | 44 | 14 |
464 | I am reporting inappropriate touching in the workplace. | 1.3956 | 0.05154 | 182 | 132 | 28 | 22 |
465 | I've come to address the complaints regarding indirect communication. | 1.3946 | 0.04541 | 185 | 125 | 47 | 13 |
466 | George had always thought of his boss as a bit of a dummy, but to see the truth laid bare before him was a bit much. | 1.3944 | 0.04824 | 180 | 125 | 39 | 16 |
467 | I'm filing a complaint because I feel like I don't have a voice here. | 1.3944 | 0.04824 | 180 | 125 | 39 | 16 |
468 | I prefer the word "rightsizing" to "downsizing." | 1.3944 | 0.05014 | 180 | 128 | 33 | 19 |
469 | I've always liked you. It's the guy behind me who thinks you should be fired. | 1.3944 | 0.04888 | 180 | 126 | 37 | 17 |
470 | If it’s any consolation, I didn’t want to let you go… but it’s not like I had any choice. | 1.3944 | 0.04824 | 180 | 125 | 39 | 16 |
471 | Speak for yourself, John. | 1.3944 | 0.04422 | 180 | 119 | 51 | 10 |
472 | I think this memo speaks for itself. | 1.3934 | 0.04767 | 183 | 127 | 40 | 16 |
473 | And when you are done with this letter can you tell the guy behind me to get his hand out of my ass. | 1.3934 | 0.04767 | 183 | 127 | 40 | 16 |
474 | This is my complaint stating I’m being touched inappropriately and he won’t let me voice my own opinions | 1.3925 | 0.04892 | 186 | 132 | 35 | 19 |
475 | Seriously, I'm on the short list for promotion? | 1.3923 | 0.04607 | 181 | 123 | 45 | 13 |
476 | You're fired but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.3923 | 0.04540 | 181 | 122 | 47 | 12 |
477 | Sorry, Kaminsky, but Corporate is literally up my ass about this one. | 1.3923 | 0.04929 | 181 | 128 | 35 | 18 |
478 | HR says we are downsizing | 1.3923 | 0.04540 | 181 | 122 | 47 | 12 |
479 | You call this a performance evaluation? They loved me in Toledo. | 1.3911 | 0.04573 | 179 | 121 | 46 | 12 |
480 | Is this where we register for the Codependency Workshop? | 1.3911 | 0.04840 | 179 | 125 | 38 | 16 |
481 | It's 2018. Using the word "dummy" is not okay. | 1.3911 | 0.04774 | 179 | 124 | 40 | 15 |
482 | C'mon, I'd make a great candidate for president--Remember Bush and Cheney? | 1.3911 | 0.05030 | 179 | 128 | 32 | 19 |
483 | It was my decision, not his. | 1.3911 | 0.04708 | 179 | 123 | 42 | 14 |
484 | We both need you to order these "For Dummies" books | 1.3911 | 0.04708 | 179 | 123 | 42 | 14 |
485 | Do I look like I would hand you some fake news? | 1.3898 | 0.04744 | 177 | 122 | 41 | 14 |
486 | We want a raise. These small suits and ties are not cheap. | 1.3898 | 0.04744 | 177 | 122 | 41 | 14 |
487 | Who's the puppet now Jerry? | 1.3898 | 0.04606 | 177 | 120 | 45 | 12 |
488 | How shall I tut this, Teter? You’re thired. | 1.3898 | 0.04877 | 177 | 124 | 37 | 16 |
489 | Can you say ‘you’re fired’ without moving your lips? | 1.3898 | 0.04811 | 177 | 123 | 39 | 15 |
490 | Look at the raise I got, Winston! Who's the dummy now? | 1.3898 | 0.05071 | 177 | 127 | 31 | 19 |
491 | !Of course he can speak for himself, I'm just more intimidating. | 1.3898 | 0.04536 | 177 | 119 | 47 | 11 |
492 | So you won’t sign the marriage license because we’re gay? | 1.3898 | 0.04943 | 177 | 125 | 35 | 17 |
493 | Please read this to the dummy behind me. | 1.3898 | 0.04606 | 177 | 120 | 45 | 12 |
494 | This would be funnier if you were Trump, I was Mueller and the guy holding me was Comey. | 1.3898 | 0.05007 | 177 | 126 | 33 | 18 |
495 | Here's the new memo on passive aggressive notes. I'm supposed to hand deliver it. | 1.3898 | 0.04744 | 177 | 122 | 41 | 14 |
496 | Bad news... you didn't make the short list. | 1.3898 | 0.04606 | 177 | 120 | 45 | 12 |
497 | That term is actually quite offensive, I prefer "puppet". | 1.3889 | 0.04484 | 180 | 121 | 48 | 11 |
498 | The President denies all knowledge of any payment to Ms Daniels and here's a copy of the payment he never made. I hope that clears things up. | 1.3886 | 0.04848 | 175 | 122 | 38 | 15 |
499 | We'd like to appeal the office talent show decision. | 1.3886 | 0.04780 | 175 | 121 | 40 | 14 |
500 | 'Cut out the deadwood?' Should I take this personally? | 1.3886 | 0.04497 | 175 | 117 | 48 | 10 |
501 | I'd like to file a complaint of harassment by Ted who is always touching me. | 1.3886 | 0.04916 | 175 | 123 | 36 | 16 |
502 | You didn't hear it from me, but the company is downsizing. | 1.3886 | 0.05239 | 175 | 128 | 26 | 21 |
503 | Yes, the dummy account. | 1.3886 | 0.04982 | 175 | 124 | 34 | 17 |
504 | There are no small jobs, only small people. | 1.3886 | 0.04848 | 175 | 122 | 38 | 15 |
505 | Did you get the memo about downsizing? | 1.3886 | 0.04641 | 175 | 119 | 44 | 12 |
506 | I may be a corporate puppet but I still have a job. | 1.3886 | 0.04711 | 175 | 120 | 42 | 13 |
507 | This script sucks. Do you think I’m a dummy? | 1.3886 | 0.04916 | 175 | 123 | 36 | 16 |
508 | I want this on my tiny desk by Tuesday. | 1.3886 | 0.04780 | 175 | 121 | 40 | 14 |
509 | I know his lips move. But he's my brother-in-law and I'm stuck with him. | 1.3886 | 0.04848 | 175 | 122 | 38 | 15 |
510 | Frankly, I preferred it when you spoke to me in the third person. | 1.3886 | 0.04916 | 175 | 123 | 36 | 16 |
511 | Our new White House Press Secretary--the President will be delighted! | 1.3886 | 0.05047 | 175 | 125 | 32 | 18 |
512 | There's no collusion. | 1.3886 | 0.05047 | 175 | 125 | 32 | 18 |
513 | Harvey"s resigning but I'm staying, so we need to find another hand for my butt. | 1.3886 | 0.04780 | 175 | 121 | 40 | 14 |
514 | I represent his holding company. | 1.3886 | 0.04497 | 175 | 117 | 48 | 10 |
515 | For my next trick, we'll do your annual review while my assistant Mr. Jones drinks a glass of water. | 1.3886 | 0.04641 | 175 | 119 | 44 | 12 |
516 | I can say whatever I want. He's got my back. | 1.3886 | 0.04780 | 175 | 121 | 40 | 14 |
517 | My client wishes to remain anonymous. | 1.3876 | 0.04516 | 178 | 120 | 47 | 11 |
518 | Did you have a hand in this? | 1.3876 | 0.04722 | 178 | 123 | 41 | 14 |
519 | Hey, don't blame me, I'm only the messenger. | 1.3873 | 0.04955 | 173 | 122 | 35 | 16 |
520 | Dummies now run the country: you're fired. | 1.3873 | 0.05219 | 173 | 126 | 27 | 20 |
521 | I can't sell this to the client. Do I look like a magician? | 1.3873 | 0.05154 | 173 | 125 | 29 | 19 |
522 | I'm not a puppet. I'm a corporate-drone middle-manager. There's a difference. | 1.3873 | 0.04530 | 173 | 116 | 47 | 10 |
523 | But make it sound like it's from him. | 1.3873 | 0.04379 | 173 | 114 | 51 | 8 |
524 | It's a 'Management for Dummies' book. You need it more than I do. | 1.3873 | 0.04955 | 173 | 122 | 35 | 16 |
525 | We regret to inform you that you’re being replaced by a real dummy. | 1.3873 | 0.04955 | 173 | 122 | 35 | 16 |
526 | Are you the dummy who wrote this report? | 1.3873 | 0.04747 | 173 | 119 | 41 | 13 |
527 | It's another round of downsizing | 1.3873 | 0.04817 | 173 | 120 | 39 | 14 |
528 | Be honest, Jim. Are you the one who wrote 'dummy' on the performance review? | 1.3873 | 0.04530 | 173 | 116 | 47 | 10 |
529 | Excellent work, Bernstein, if I do say so myself. | 1.3873 | 0.04955 | 173 | 122 | 35 | 16 |
530 | I don't mean to be a micromanager. | 1.3873 | 0.04676 | 173 | 118 | 43 | 12 |
531 | Here's my resignation. Let some other dummy do your dirty work. | 1.3873 | 0.05022 | 173 | 123 | 33 | 17 |
532 | Don't shoot me, I'm only carrying the messenger | 1.3873 | 0.04747 | 173 | 119 | 41 | 13 |
533 | Bill says he's getting tired. I'll need you to bring me to the eleven o'clock meeting. | 1.3873 | 0.04887 | 173 | 121 | 37 | 15 |
534 | Yes that’s right Don read my lips, you’re fired | 1.3864 | 0.04477 | 176 | 118 | 48 | 10 |
535 | I pull the strings here, not you! | 1.3864 | 0.04620 | 176 | 120 | 44 | 12 |
536 | Didn't you get the downsizing memo? | 1.3860 | 0.04638 | 171 | 116 | 44 | 11 |
537 | Apparently, our policy on Appropriate Workplace Touching doesn’t apply to management. | 1.3860 | 0.05328 | 171 | 126 | 24 | 21 |
538 | HR is now offering free, discreet prostate exams. | 1.3860 | 0.05063 | 171 | 122 | 32 | 17 |
539 | In the spirit of #MeToo, I feel the section on ‘inappropriate touching’ should be updated. | 1.3860 | 0.05063 | 171 | 122 | 32 | 17 |
540 | What do you mean by this note, 'Speak for yourself'? | 1.3860 | 0.04711 | 171 | 117 | 42 | 12 |
541 | I have a small complaint. | 1.3860 | 0.04855 | 171 | 119 | 38 | 14 |
542 | I didn't say that... You put words in my mouth! | 1.3860 | 0.04638 | 171 | 116 | 44 | 11 |
543 | So who's the puppet master now, Steve? | 1.3860 | 0.04995 | 171 | 121 | 34 | 16 |
544 | Ok, you never heard this from me.... | 1.3851 | 0.04582 | 174 | 118 | 45 | 11 |
545 | I see we are downsizing again | 1.3851 | 0.04998 | 174 | 124 | 33 | 17 |
546 | Yes, I'm afraid it's about the downsizing. | 1.3851 | 0.04795 | 174 | 121 | 39 | 14 |
547 | It’s right here in black and white. Any dummy can do your job! | 1.3846 | 0.04748 | 169 | 116 | 41 | 12 |
548 | I'd quit, but I can't find another company whose insurance covers my carpenter. | 1.3846 | 0.04821 | 169 | 117 | 39 | 13 |
549 | Here's your pink slip. Who's calling who a dummy now? | 1.3846 | 0.04894 | 169 | 118 | 37 | 14 |
550 | He micro manages me too. | 1.3846 | 0.04894 | 169 | 118 | 37 | 14 |
551 | It’s a great offer. No strings attached. | 1.3846 | 0.04441 | 169 | 112 | 49 | 8 |
552 | Yur ired | 1.3846 | 0.05036 | 169 | 120 | 33 | 16 |
553 | You can talk to me or you can talk to the Big Guy. | 1.3846 | 0.04597 | 169 | 114 | 45 | 10 |
554 | Look, Johnson, corporate's gonna be up my ass if you don't get these reports done. | 1.3837 | 0.05106 | 172 | 124 | 30 | 18 |
555 | It's a memo about the downsizing. | 1.3837 | 0.04832 | 172 | 120 | 38 | 14 |
556 | The guy with the hand up my a** says you mispelled both ‘obnoxious’ and ‘puppet’ in his annual job review. | 1.3837 | 0.04761 | 172 | 119 | 40 | 13 |
557 | Can you explain this "micro-manage" comment in your e-mail? | 1.3832 | 0.04860 | 167 | 116 | 38 | 13 |
558 | And for the final part of your training, we'll teach you how to recognize dummy accounts. | 1.3832 | 0.04933 | 167 | 117 | 36 | 14 |
559 | We need a third signature. | 1.3832 | 0.05006 | 167 | 118 | 34 | 15 |
560 | I regret to inform you that you're no longer the boss's right-hand man. | 1.3832 | 0.04933 | 167 | 117 | 36 | 14 |
561 | John here would keep you on, but I'm letting you go. | 1.3832 | 0.04632 | 167 | 113 | 44 | 10 |
562 | Actually, he's the one pulling the strings around here. | 1.3832 | 0.04785 | 167 | 115 | 40 | 12 |
563 | What’s the big idea leaving a note? Talk to me like a real man. | 1.3832 | 0.05078 | 167 | 119 | 32 | 16 |
564 | Your job has been down-sized. | 1.3832 | 0.04785 | 167 | 115 | 40 | 12 |
565 | You didn't answer my memo, so read my lips. | 1.3824 | 0.04798 | 170 | 118 | 39 | 13 |
566 | Here's my resume. I can prove I worked in the White House Communications Office. | 1.3824 | 0.05080 | 170 | 122 | 31 | 17 |
567 | He's the one telling all the lies? Not me! | 1.3824 | 0.04651 | 170 | 116 | 43 | 11 |
568 | I'm not at liberty to say who told me. | 1.3824 | 0.04725 | 170 | 117 | 41 | 12 |
569 | I've discovered a flaw in our cloning algorithm. | 1.3818 | 0.04899 | 165 | 115 | 37 | 13 |
570 | NOT MY FAULT ! He’s holding me up. | 1.3818 | 0.04974 | 165 | 116 | 35 | 14 |
571 | I receithed your neno and I hathe son klestions. | 1.3810 | 0.05052 | 168 | 120 | 32 | 16 |
572 | I want you to meet my new right hand man. | 1.3795 | 0.04949 | 166 | 117 | 35 | 14 |
573 | Well, what do you expect from a dummy corporation. | 1.3795 | 0.04799 | 166 | 115 | 39 | 12 |
574 | THIS BILL IS OUTRAGEOUS---- DO YOU THINK I"AM A DUMMY? | 1.3795 | 0.05095 | 166 | 119 | 31 | 16 |
575 | Here's a phiece of phapher. | 1.3795 | 0.05095 | 166 | 119 | 31 | 16 |
576 | I may be a dummy, but I'm still your boss. | 1.3795 | 0.05305 | 166 | 122 | 25 | 19 |
577 | Don't blame the messenger's messenger. | 1.3795 | 0.04799 | 166 | 115 | 39 | 12 |
578 | I'm his right-hand man. | 1.3795 | 0.05022 | 166 | 118 | 33 | 15 |
579 | They told me "any dummy can do this job", so I've been given yours. | 1.3795 | 0.04645 | 166 | 113 | 43 | 10 |
580 | The boss doesn't have a hand in this. You're fired. | 1.3795 | 0.04723 | 166 | 114 | 41 | 11 |
581 | I hate to micromanage, but that's kind of how I was built. | 1.3795 | 0.04799 | 166 | 115 | 39 | 12 |
582 | Please don't shoot the messenger. | 1.3780 | 0.05138 | 164 | 118 | 30 | 16 |
583 | When I said delegate this is not what I meant, John. | 1.3780 | 0.04990 | 164 | 116 | 34 | 14 |
584 | 'Dummy' is out. From now on it's 'a plastic and/or wooden employee with a voice from an outside source'. | 1.3780 | 0.04518 | 164 | 110 | 46 | 8 |
585 | Fred, I wish it was me he was letting go rather than you. | 1.3780 | 0.05138 | 164 | 118 | 30 | 16 |
586 | This says I've been promoted to micromanager. | 1.3780 | 0.04838 | 164 | 114 | 38 | 12 |
587 | I'm applying for a position where I sit on a chair instead of a finger. | 1.3780 | 0.04914 | 164 | 115 | 36 | 13 |
588 | Confronted with the results of his prank, Gary regretted leaving that copy of "Office Management for Dummies" on his bosses desk. | 1.3780 | 0.04990 | 164 | 116 | 34 | 14 |
589 | As you see, I am making this offer with no strings attached. | 1.3780 | 0.04990 | 164 | 116 | 34 | 14 |
590 | What did you mean by 'dummy corporation'? | 1.3780 | 0.04990 | 164 | 116 | 34 | 14 |
591 | You need to get the CEO off my back | 1.3780 | 0.04838 | 164 | 114 | 38 | 12 |
592 | I wish that HIS hand was as small as yours. | 1.3780 | 0.05210 | 164 | 119 | 28 | 17 |
593 | Here’s my formal resignation. No one calls me a dummy. | 1.3780 | 0.04760 | 164 | 113 | 40 | 11 |
594 | Heads up - the boss just let me know we're downsizing. | 1.3780 | 0.04680 | 164 | 112 | 42 | 10 |
595 | Read my lips. | 1.3780 | 0.05210 | 164 | 119 | 28 | 17 |
596 | I'll take his hand outta mine when you take your head outta yours. | 1.3780 | 0.05210 | 164 | 119 | 28 | 17 |
597 | We’re being downsized. | 1.3780 | 0.04600 | 164 | 111 | 44 | 9 |
598 | But if it makes you feel any better, we are ALL getting downsized. | 1.3772 | 0.04925 | 167 | 118 | 35 | 14 |
599 | Wuddya mean 'equal pay for equal height' ?? | 1.3765 | 0.05399 | 162 | 120 | 23 | 19 |
600 | He hates to bring bad news. | 1.3765 | 0.04877 | 162 | 113 | 37 | 12 |
601 | Did you write this? It doesn’t sound like you. | 1.3765 | 0.05032 | 162 | 115 | 33 | 14 |
602 | Alright, Jim, now before I go over your evaluation, kindly hand Louis that completely full glass of water. | 1.3765 | 0.04798 | 162 | 112 | 39 | 11 |
603 | You call this a report? What kind of a dummy do you think I am? | 1.3765 | 0.05032 | 162 | 115 | 33 | 14 |
604 | And remember, we outnumber you one and a half to one. | 1.3765 | 0.04877 | 162 | 113 | 37 | 12 |
605 | When I want your opinion, he'll give it to you! | 1.3765 | 0.04798 | 162 | 112 | 39 | 11 |
606 | I'm sick and tired of taking orders from these corporate puppets. | 1.3765 | 0.04717 | 162 | 111 | 41 | 10 |
607 | We hope you don't mind a little micromanagement. | 1.3765 | 0.05182 | 162 | 117 | 29 | 16 |
608 | Corporate told me the company needed to downsize. | 1.3765 | 0.04955 | 162 | 114 | 35 | 13 |
609 | I'm keeping a stiff upper lip no matter what he says. | 1.3765 | 0.04717 | 162 | 111 | 41 | 10 |
610 | Just got word from corporate: we're downsizing. | 1.3765 | 0.05032 | 162 | 115 | 33 | 14 |
611 | Sorry but the decision is out of my hands. | 1.3765 | 0.04877 | 162 | 113 | 37 | 12 |
612 | Remember that comment about 'Management for Dummies'? Well I read it. And you're fired. | 1.3758 | 0.05039 | 165 | 118 | 32 | 15 |
613 | I'll be out next week. Here's a note from my carpenter. | 1.3750 | 0.04996 | 160 | 113 | 34 | 13 |
614 | ...and THEN he returned to work without washing his hands. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
615 | This letter certifies I'm his emotional support dummy. | 1.3750 | 0.05301 | 160 | 117 | 26 | 17 |
616 | I think my resume speaks for itself. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
617 | No strings attached? It's worse. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
618 | This document advises you that all communications with my client are to be conducted through me and that he is not a party to any conversation. | 1.3750 | 0.04917 | 160 | 112 | 36 | 12 |
619 | I'm going to drop this off and leave. I know what it's like to have someone breathing down my neck. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
620 | Notice his lips never move as we explain your severance package... | 1.3750 | 0.04996 | 160 | 113 | 34 | 13 |
621 | My client represents a dummy corporation. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
622 | And remember, nobody working in the White House gave you these instructions. | 1.3750 | 0.05227 | 160 | 116 | 28 | 16 |
623 | I hear you are researching the McCarthy era. | 1.3750 | 0.05074 | 160 | 114 | 32 | 14 |
624 | He'd tell you himself but he's got laryngitis. | 1.3750 | 0.04996 | 160 | 113 | 34 | 13 |
625 | I was totally in favor of downsizing Management, but this was not what I had in mind | 1.3750 | 0.04996 | 160 | 113 | 34 | 13 |
626 | Are you the dummy who wrote this? | 1.3750 | 0.05227 | 160 | 116 | 28 | 16 |
627 | It's just a little request from the Big Guy. | 1.3750 | 0.04917 | 160 | 112 | 36 | 12 |
628 | Do I look like I would spend $200 on wine? | 1.3750 | 0.04754 | 160 | 110 | 40 | 10 |
629 | The dummy behind me wants a raise! | 1.3750 | 0.05227 | 160 | 116 | 28 | 16 |
630 | Henry could you be a doll, and get these reports on my desk in an hour? | 1.3734 | 0.05038 | 158 | 112 | 33 | 13 |
631 | hey small hands - look at me when I'm talking to you ! | 1.3734 | 0.04958 | 158 | 111 | 35 | 12 |
632 | Bad news Dudley, we're downsizing. | 1.3734 | 0.05038 | 158 | 112 | 33 | 13 |
633 | I tell you I AM your President pay no attention to man behind me. Right Vladimir? | 1.3734 | 0.05118 | 158 | 113 | 31 | 14 |
634 | You’re fired! Who’s the dummy now? | 1.3734 | 0.04792 | 158 | 109 | 39 | 10 |
635 | It's a new kind of voicemail | 1.3734 | 0.04876 | 158 | 110 | 37 | 11 |
636 | My eyes are down here, buddy. | 1.3734 | 0.04533 | 158 | 106 | 45 | 7 |
637 | I think I speak for others when I say this memo is an insult. | 1.3734 | 0.05038 | 158 | 112 | 33 | 13 |
638 | I'd like to file a harassment claim. | 1.3734 | 0.04958 | 158 | 111 | 35 | 12 |
639 | We're sorry to let you go--and I'm not just saying that | 1.3727 | 0.04892 | 161 | 113 | 36 | 12 |
640 | I'm not very good with confrontation. You're fired. | 1.3725 | 0.04984 | 153 | 107 | 35 | 11 |
641 | I am handing in my resignation since you won't listen to him | 1.3725 | 0.04984 | 153 | 107 | 35 | 11 |
642 | I'd like to formally file this sexual harassment complaint against a certain handsy co-worker. | 1.3718 | 0.05081 | 156 | 111 | 32 | 13 |
643 | I'm done reviewing the small print. | 1.3718 | 0.04567 | 156 | 105 | 44 | 7 |
644 | Here are my written comments - I'm tired of other people putting words in my mouth. | 1.3718 | 0.05320 | 156 | 114 | 26 | 16 |
645 | " Well, you asked for the dummy file"! | 1.3718 | 0.05081 | 156 | 111 | 32 | 13 |
646 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment claim against my co-worker here. | 1.3711 | 0.05012 | 159 | 113 | 33 | 13 |
647 | We consider your use of 'dummy corporation' a microaggression. | 1.3711 | 0.04768 | 159 | 110 | 39 | 10 |
648 | I dummied this up so you would understand it. | 1.3711 | 0.05091 | 159 | 114 | 31 | 14 |
649 | You can see where his hand is, can't you? And you don't consider this an inappropriate workplace behavior? | 1.3711 | 0.05245 | 159 | 116 | 27 | 16 |
650 | Can you get this done? Management is really up my you know what. | 1.3711 | 0.05091 | 159 | 114 | 31 | 14 |
651 | For this project I've decided to put myself entirely in your hands. | 1.3711 | 0.04510 | 159 | 107 | 45 | 7 |
652 | " Eyes down here dummy". | 1.3701 | 0.05042 | 154 | 109 | 33 | 12 |
653 | I'm only the messenger. | 1.3701 | 0.04602 | 154 | 104 | 43 | 7 |
654 | How many times to I have to ask you not to cc him on your emails to me ? | 1.3701 | 0.05208 | 154 | 111 | 29 | 14 |
655 | Sorry, he had to choose between you and me. | 1.3701 | 0.05208 | 154 | 111 | 29 | 14 |
656 | This is his letter of resignation I'm staying on. | 1.3701 | 0.04957 | 154 | 108 | 35 | 11 |
657 | Hey don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger. | 1.3701 | 0.04871 | 154 | 107 | 37 | 10 |
658 | Well, what did you think they meant when they said we were all being downsized? | 1.3701 | 0.04783 | 154 | 106 | 39 | 9 |
659 | Feel free to shoot the messenger. | 1.3701 | 0.05126 | 154 | 110 | 31 | 13 |
660 | I would never say this. | 1.3701 | 0.04783 | 154 | 106 | 39 | 9 |
661 | This is our list of grievances, starting with the termites. | 1.3694 | 0.04890 | 157 | 110 | 36 | 11 |
662 | I don't need a computer, I already have artificial intelligence. | 1.3684 | 0.05086 | 152 | 108 | 32 | 12 |
663 | I have it in writing that he won't speak for me any more. | 1.3684 | 0.05086 | 152 | 108 | 32 | 12 |
664 | Don’t look at me like that – I have just as little control over this as you do. | 1.3684 | 0.05171 | 152 | 109 | 30 | 13 |
665 | Yur ired | 1.3684 | 0.05086 | 152 | 108 | 32 | 12 |
666 | In recognition of your work, I'm presenting you with a gift certificate for my new book: "Dummies for Dummies." | 1.3684 | 0.05337 | 152 | 111 | 26 | 15 |
667 | We make firing fun. You're fired. | 1.3684 | 0.04912 | 152 | 106 | 36 | 10 |
668 | This document speaks for itself. | 1.3677 | 0.05015 | 155 | 110 | 33 | 12 |
669 | He couldn’t bring himself to fire you in person. | 1.3660 | 0.04885 | 153 | 107 | 36 | 10 |
670 | I assure you. There are no strings attached. | 1.3660 | 0.04973 | 153 | 108 | 34 | 11 |
671 | I'm sorry we have to let you go, but it turns out that even a dummy could do your job | 1.3660 | 0.04796 | 153 | 106 | 38 | 9 |
672 | I didn’t say that, he did. | 1.3660 | 0.04973 | 153 | 108 | 34 | 11 |
673 | I have brought a proposal for my new book, VENTRILOQUISM FOR DUMMIES. | 1.3660 | 0.05388 | 153 | 113 | 24 | 16 |
674 | Remember, you didn’t hear it from him. | 1.3660 | 0.05226 | 153 | 111 | 28 | 14 |
675 | Alan, did you have a hand in this?! | 1.3654 | 0.05152 | 156 | 113 | 29 | 14 |
676 | Here's my two weeks notice. I ventriloquit. | 1.3649 | 0.05087 | 148 | 105 | 32 | 11 |
677 | Yes, Jim, I heard you, we’re all puppets in corporate America, but I’m a little busy right now. | 1.3642 | 0.04836 | 151 | 105 | 37 | 9 |
678 | In what universe is it fair to pay one for the work of two? | 1.3642 | 0.05015 | 151 | 107 | 33 | 11 |
679 | I need you to do this so I can get him off my ass. | 1.3642 | 0.05188 | 151 | 109 | 29 | 13 |
680 | 'Excel for Dummies?' What do you take me for? | 1.3642 | 0.05188 | 151 | 109 | 29 | 13 |
681 | Dummy is so retro. I prefer humanistically impaired. | 1.3642 | 0.05015 | 151 | 107 | 33 | 11 |
682 | Guess which one of us wrote your resignation letter? | 1.3642 | 0.04744 | 151 | 104 | 39 | 8 |
683 | #metwo | 1.3642 | 0.05273 | 151 | 110 | 27 | 14 |
684 | I need you to record this Non-Disclosure Agreement,concerning his hand placement. | 1.3642 | 0.05356 | 151 | 111 | 25 | 15 |
685 | Trust me, this is verifiable, first-hand information. | 1.3642 | 0.05015 | 151 | 107 | 33 | 11 |
686 | You've been selected for downsizing, too. | 1.3636 | 0.05115 | 154 | 111 | 30 | 13 |
687 | I can't take this report seriously. | 1.3624 | 0.04876 | 149 | 104 | 36 | 9 |
688 | Mr. Hannigan is going to fire you, Mark. I wanted you to hear it from me first. | 1.3624 | 0.05059 | 149 | 106 | 32 | 11 |
689 | You're fired. So who's the dummy? | 1.3624 | 0.04782 | 149 | 103 | 38 | 8 |
690 | Here! Any dummy can figure this out. | 1.3624 | 0.04876 | 149 | 104 | 36 | 9 |
691 | When I hired you, I warned you never to call me "dummy." | 1.3624 | 0.04876 | 149 | 104 | 36 | 9 |
692 | Good news, my doctor here says my prostate is just fine. | 1.3624 | 0.05059 | 149 | 106 | 32 | 11 |
693 | You're being downsized, too. | 1.3624 | 0.05059 | 149 | 106 | 32 | 11 |
694 | You ever get the feeling in this office that someone is always talking about you behind your back? | 1.3624 | 0.05235 | 149 | 108 | 28 | 13 |
695 | Sorry to have to let you go Petersen, but we need people around here who can think for themselves! | 1.3624 | 0.04876 | 149 | 104 | 36 | 9 |
696 | He's not a ventriloquist, he's a coward. | 1.3624 | 0.04968 | 149 | 105 | 34 | 10 |
697 | He’s taken a vow of silence until Trump leaves the White House. | 1.3624 | 0.05651 | 149 | 113 | 18 | 18 |
698 | We have a small problem... | 1.3624 | 0.04876 | 149 | 104 | 36 | 9 |
699 | Who's the dummy? You work here by choice. | 1.3618 | 0.04900 | 152 | 107 | 35 | 10 |
700 | To answer your question, yes. I've hired a human to do my job. | 1.3605 | 0.04917 | 147 | 103 | 35 | 9 |
701 | I would like to file a complaint for inappropriate touching from my supervisor. | 1.3605 | 0.05283 | 147 | 107 | 27 | 13 |
702 | 'I'm gonna need a hand, Phil' | 1.3605 | 0.05370 | 147 | 108 | 25 | 14 |
703 | Don't worry, he's been carrying me for years. | 1.3605 | 0.04917 | 147 | 103 | 35 | 9 |
704 | Human Resources, right? Can you get this guy's hand out of my ass? | 1.3605 | 0.05370 | 147 | 108 | 25 | 14 |
705 | You're fired. But president says you are a great guy. | 1.3605 | 0.05194 | 147 | 106 | 29 | 12 |
706 | This is a grievance about our current job sharing arrangement. | 1.3605 | 0.05194 | 147 | 106 | 29 | 12 |
707 | I told you, I speak for myself. | 1.3605 | 0.04724 | 147 | 101 | 39 | 7 |
708 | At least my hands are proportionate to the rest of my body. | 1.3605 | 0.04917 | 147 | 103 | 35 | 9 |
709 | This time I brought my attorney: he speaks for me. | 1.3605 | 0.04821 | 147 | 102 | 37 | 8 |
710 | Sign this so I can get this guy off my ass. | 1.3605 | 0.05456 | 147 | 109 | 23 | 15 |
711 | I'd like to place this ad for a female ventriloquist! | 1.3605 | 0.05283 | 147 | 107 | 27 | 13 |
712 | Welcome to the Trump legal team. | 1.3605 | 0.05283 | 147 | 107 | 27 | 13 |
713 | Mr. Jones is submitting his resignation by proxy. | 1.3605 | 0.04917 | 147 | 103 | 35 | 9 |
714 | Number three -- the termite jokes are creating a hostile work environment. | 1.3605 | 0.04917 | 147 | 103 | 35 | 9 |
715 | You think the boss is up your ass? | 1.3600 | 0.05539 | 150 | 113 | 20 | 17 |
716 | Hey Dan, you were right. My 23andMe test results show that I am, in fact, a puppet. | 1.3600 | 0.04849 | 150 | 105 | 36 | 9 |
717 | Here's a memo about our transition from an LLC to a Dummy Corporation. | 1.3595 | 0.04873 | 153 | 108 | 35 | 10 |
718 | All employees are required to wash their hands. | 1.3586 | 0.05332 | 145 | 106 | 26 | 13 |
719 | I think I figured out how we’re going to win the Pinocchio account. | 1.3586 | 0.04557 | 145 | 98 | 42 | 5 |
720 | Yes, I’ve submitted two sets of expenses. You got a problem with that? | 1.3586 | 0.04959 | 145 | 102 | 34 | 9 |
721 | Read my lips, Johnson! I need this on my desk by five! | 1.3586 | 0.04959 | 145 | 102 | 34 | 9 |
722 | Speak for yourself. | 1.3586 | 0.05149 | 145 | 104 | 30 | 11 |
723 | They told me I was being downsized. | 1.3586 | 0.05241 | 145 | 105 | 28 | 12 |
724 | Corporate's downsizing all of us. | 1.3586 | 0.05332 | 145 | 106 | 26 | 13 |
725 | But you said you wanted the short version. | 1.3586 | 0.05055 | 145 | 103 | 32 | 10 |
726 | Please take my complaint -- this guy won't keep his hands off me! | 1.3586 | 0.04959 | 145 | 102 | 34 | 9 |
727 | “It says here, “Read my lips”. | 1.3581 | 0.04983 | 148 | 105 | 33 | 10 |
728 | Remember, you didn't get this from me. | 1.3581 | 0.04983 | 148 | 105 | 33 | 10 |
729 | I told you it was so easy a dummy could do it. | 1.3581 | 0.05074 | 148 | 106 | 31 | 11 |
730 | Here's the paperwork for our dummy corporation. | 1.3571 | 0.05019 | 154 | 111 | 31 | 12 |
731 | I stand corrected. Any dummy could *not* do your job. Please accept my apologies. | 1.3571 | 0.05076 | 140 | 99 | 32 | 9 |
732 | We believe the résumé speaks for itself. | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
733 | Look at me in the eyes when I talk to you! | 1.3566 | 0.05382 | 143 | 105 | 25 | 13 |
734 | Really, Carl? You couldn't just come to me directly with this information? | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
735 | Here is my formal complaint. I’m a victim of inappropriate touching. | 1.3566 | 0.05736 | 143 | 109 | 17 | 17 |
736 | Is this the right form for disclosing an intra-office relationship? | 1.3566 | 0.05472 | 143 | 106 | 23 | 14 |
737 | What do you mean, 'cut out the middle man' ? | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
738 | You're job is being outsourced to a bunch of shadow puppets in Thailand. Now who's the dummy? | 1.3566 | 0.04903 | 143 | 100 | 35 | 8 |
739 | I won't be a puppet for this organization one day longer. Order me a chair! | 1.3566 | 0.05382 | 143 | 105 | 25 | 13 |
740 | I hope you can read shorthand | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
741 | I'm getting everybody to sign this birthday card for Randall. | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
742 | Grimsby, the boss wants you to read this memo about being more direct with your co-workers. | 1.3566 | 0.05002 | 143 | 101 | 33 | 9 |
743 | The big guy doesn't have the heart to give you this pink slip, but I don't have a heart, so here it is and away you go........! | 1.3566 | 0.05195 | 143 | 103 | 29 | 11 |
744 | I don't want to work here anyway. You're just a bunch of dummies who keep putting words in my mouth. | 1.3551 | 0.04911 | 138 | 96 | 35 | 7 |
745 | This is a subpoena. Who's the dummy now? | 1.3546 | 0.05243 | 141 | 102 | 28 | 11 |
746 | I want to report him. He’s being inappropriate. | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
747 | Have you seen this memo about staff reductions? | 1.3546 | 0.05146 | 141 | 101 | 30 | 10 |
748 | I just don't feel like it's written in your authentic voice... | 1.3546 | 0.04841 | 141 | 98 | 36 | 7 |
749 | I don't like being the bad guy but my boss is really getting up my ass about this one | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
750 | Hey, being downsized isn't so bad. | 1.3546 | 0.04841 | 141 | 98 | 36 | 7 |
751 | You have the right to remain silent, but I don't. | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
752 | Legal says this is the only way we can both have deniability. | 1.3546 | 0.05243 | 141 | 102 | 28 | 11 |
753 | Read it yourself, Dummy | 1.3546 | 0.05706 | 141 | 107 | 18 | 16 |
754 | Here you go, straight from the big man. | 1.3546 | 0.04736 | 141 | 97 | 38 | 6 |
755 | Could you rewrite this so even a dummy can understand it? | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
756 | Here's a list of our demands. First of all, I want an employee ID badge that doesn't say "Fred's Dummy." | 1.3546 | 0.05146 | 141 | 101 | 30 | 10 |
757 | He thinks you're a great guy and wants to remain friends. I couldn't care less. Here's your notice. You're fired. | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
758 | I'm speechless. | 1.3546 | 0.04841 | 141 | 98 | 36 | 7 |
759 | Are you the dummy who wrote this? | 1.3546 | 0.05046 | 141 | 100 | 32 | 9 |
760 | I'm here to be President Trump's new Press Secretary. | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
761 | I write the fine print. | 1.3546 | 0.05243 | 141 | 102 | 28 | 11 |
762 | You thought it ended with transgender rights? | 1.3546 | 0.05339 | 141 | 103 | 26 | 12 |
763 | I'd like to voice a concern. | 1.3546 | 0.05146 | 141 | 101 | 30 | 10 |
764 | Please review and sign the updated list of phrases that are no longer acceptable to use in the work place. This list includes phrases like “micromanagment”, “out of reach” and “short staffed”. | 1.3546 | 0.05146 | 141 | 101 | 30 | 10 |
765 | I didn't want to let you go. But I'm just a puppet of management. | 1.3546 | 0.05146 | 141 | 101 | 30 | 10 |
766 | It’s called plausible deniability. | 1.3542 | 0.05070 | 144 | 103 | 31 | 10 |
767 | Mike, you wanna hand me your coffee cup so that Andy, here, can appear to be drinking while I read your pink slip to you? | 1.3529 | 0.05063 | 136 | 96 | 32 | 8 |
768 | He thought you were going to shoot the messenger. | 1.3525 | 0.05390 | 139 | 102 | 25 | 12 |
769 | He says to tell you that we're downsizing. | 1.3525 | 0.05390 | 139 | 102 | 25 | 12 |
770 | I was afraid of this. We've become a puppet state. | 1.3525 | 0.05486 | 139 | 103 | 23 | 13 |
771 | Hey, I'm just doing what the man tells me. | 1.3525 | 0.05390 | 139 | 102 | 25 | 12 |
772 | We find the term ‘puppet’ problematic | 1.3525 | 0.04882 | 139 | 97 | 35 | 7 |
773 | It’s an outline for my book, Ventriloquism For Dummies | 1.3525 | 0.05292 | 139 | 101 | 27 | 11 |
774 | The Vice President hates your memo. | 1.3525 | 0.05092 | 139 | 99 | 31 | 9 |
775 | Here, look! I'm the one that paid the $130,000! | 1.3525 | 0.05580 | 139 | 104 | 21 | 14 |
776 | He's the boss, but I give the orders. | 1.3525 | 0.04882 | 139 | 97 | 35 | 7 |
777 | You're 'ired, Joe, here's your 'ink slib" | 1.3525 | 0.05486 | 139 | 103 | 23 | 13 |
778 | What made you presume you could speak for me? | 1.3525 | 0.05092 | 139 | 99 | 31 | 9 |
779 | Get this done, or my boss will be up your ass. | 1.3521 | 0.05116 | 142 | 102 | 30 | 10 |
780 | Read this back to me, without moving your lips. | 1.3521 | 0.05212 | 142 | 103 | 28 | 11 |
781 | Redo the speech, it still has words I have to move my lips to say. | 1.3521 | 0.05307 | 142 | 104 | 26 | 12 |
782 | Jim, this guy keeps following me and speaking behind my back. | 1.3521 | 0.04916 | 142 | 100 | 34 | 8 |
783 | Is this your idea of a second opinion? | 1.3521 | 0.05017 | 142 | 101 | 32 | 9 |
784 | This restraining order is a joke! He's still on my back. | 1.3521 | 0.05307 | 142 | 104 | 26 | 12 |
785 | Look on the bright side. The people in the mailroom were told by the downsizing sock puppet. | 1.3507 | 0.05531 | 134 | 99 | 23 | 12 |
786 | Here’s a summary of the report I need – have it on my knee first thing Monday morning. | 1.3507 | 0.05324 | 134 | 97 | 27 | 10 |
787 | Next time you have something to say to me, say it to my face. | 1.3504 | 0.04814 | 137 | 95 | 36 | 6 |
788 | Listen to me, not him. To get the President's attention, we need to dummy down our message. | 1.3504 | 0.05442 | 137 | 101 | 24 | 12 |
789 | They were going to send in the clown but I said I’d do it... | 1.3504 | 0.05442 | 137 | 101 | 24 | 12 |
790 | The boss asked what dummy wrote this memo. | 1.3504 | 0.05343 | 137 | 100 | 26 | 11 |
791 | I want you to know, it wasn’t my decision. | 1.3504 | 0.05241 | 137 | 99 | 28 | 10 |
792 | He can't tell you how sorry he is that he has to let you go. | 1.3504 | 0.05442 | 137 | 101 | 24 | 12 |
793 | Maybe you didn't get the memo. We're downsizing and I'm the new micromanager. | 1.3504 | 0.05343 | 137 | 100 | 26 | 11 |
794 | Hey, tell this schmuck behind me he's fired. | 1.3504 | 0.05343 | 137 | 100 | 26 | 11 |
795 | My shrink told me to lose the dummy...so you're fired | 1.3504 | 0.05442 | 137 | 101 | 24 | 12 |
796 | Who says so? | 1.3500 | 0.05260 | 140 | 102 | 27 | 11 |
797 | I want to submit this sexual harrassment complaint - You would not believe where he has put his hands | 1.3500 | 0.05162 | 140 | 101 | 29 | 10 |
798 | I'm so sorry... I'm pretty sure Stevens had a hand in this. | 1.3500 | 0.05162 | 140 | 101 | 29 | 10 |
799 | Larry, you're being promoted. Take this form to the Ventrilo department to get fitted for your own puppet. | 1.3500 | 0.05357 | 140 | 103 | 25 | 12 |
800 | Here is a list of employee demands. Would you rather we do this while Hotchkiss drinks a glass of water? | 1.3500 | 0.05061 | 140 | 100 | 31 | 9 |
801 | We've looked over your proposal, Peterson. Larry's onboard. I'm not there yet. | 1.3500 | 0.04854 | 140 | 98 | 35 | 7 |
802 | you've been selected for our employee downsizing initiative | 1.3485 | 0.05043 | 132 | 93 | 32 | 7 |
803 | Consider yourself lucky. All you're getting is this pink slip. I'm the one who's getting the shaft all day long. | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
804 | What do you mean talking out of both sides of my mouth? | 1.3481 | 0.05185 | 135 | 97 | 29 | 9 |
805 | Let me see you read it without moving your lips. | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
806 | Memo says we're being downsized. | 1.3481 | 0.05291 | 135 | 98 | 27 | 10 |
807 | The jerk with his hand up my bum says you’re fired. | 1.3481 | 0.05185 | 135 | 97 | 29 | 9 |
808 | This is gibberish. Do you think I'm some kind of dummy? | 1.3481 | 0.05496 | 135 | 100 | 23 | 12 |
809 | I need to file a sexual harassment suit against the guy with his hand in my pants! | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
810 | I better have this on my tiny desk by the end of the day. | 1.3481 | 0.04740 | 135 | 93 | 37 | 5 |
811 | I was CC'd on this email: For the record: it's "Dummy", not "Moron". | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
812 | He couldn't do it, but I can. .... Son-in-law, YOUR'E FIRED! | 1.3481 | 0.05693 | 135 | 102 | 19 | 14 |
813 | Bad news. You've been downsized. | 1.3481 | 0.05185 | 135 | 97 | 29 | 9 |
814 | He made me do it. | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
815 | Yes, it's a subpoena dummy | 1.3481 | 0.05185 | 135 | 97 | 29 | 9 |
816 | Tell me you didn't actually write 'Dummy Corporation' in your business proposal | 1.3481 | 0.05595 | 135 | 101 | 21 | 13 |
817 | Management has been up my ass about the recent marketing mistake. | 1.3481 | 0.05884 | 135 | 104 | 15 | 16 |
818 | I know I'm your pain in the ass, but he is mine. | 1.3481 | 0.05394 | 135 | 99 | 25 | 11 |
819 | In light of work visa restrictions, we're experimenting with new staffing models. | 1.3481 | 0.04967 | 135 | 95 | 33 | 7 |
820 | It says here equal pay for equal work and don’t call me dummy. | 1.3478 | 0.04786 | 138 | 96 | 36 | 6 |
821 | Good news, you're my biological father. | 1.3478 | 0.05967 | 138 | 108 | 12 | 18 |
822 | I'd like to submit a complaint about a man following me. | 1.3475 | 0.04720 | 141 | 98 | 37 | 6 |
823 | But the policy says it can’t be harassment if I didn’t actually say it. | 1.3475 | 0.04826 | 141 | 99 | 35 | 7 |
824 | Bad news. We got rejected for the “Two and Half Men” reboot. | 1.3462 | 0.04724 | 130 | 89 | 37 | 4 |
825 | From one dummy to another, you are fired. | 1.3462 | 0.05537 | 130 | 96 | 23 | 11 |
826 | In spite of the restraining order, wherever I go, he’s still right behind me! | 1.3459 | 0.05342 | 133 | 97 | 26 | 10 |
827 | Well, now I make him write everything down, or else he takes the words right out of my mouth! | 1.3459 | 0.04779 | 133 | 92 | 36 | 5 |
828 | It says you agree to me acting as intermediary. | 1.3459 | 0.05011 | 133 | 94 | 32 | 7 |
829 | Here's a promo for my latest book "Microsoft Office By and For Dummies". | 1.3459 | 0.05447 | 133 | 98 | 24 | 11 |
830 | Todd's voice is gone, so I will be speaking for him. | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
831 | When drafting legal documents, we do not use the word ‘mouthpiece.’ | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
832 | The prose might be kind of wooden, but I'm sure you can fix it. | 1.3459 | 0.05447 | 133 | 98 | 24 | 11 |
833 | Hi, I'm Terry. I will be handing out the Pink Slips for Barry. | 1.3459 | 0.04534 | 133 | 90 | 40 | 3 |
834 | He struggles with confrontation. | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
835 | Yet another memo from the dummy. | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
836 | This is what I meant by Management for Dummies. | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
837 | I pulled some strings to get you this assignment. | 1.3459 | 0.05447 | 133 | 98 | 24 | 11 |
838 | Unfortunately we're downsizing. | 1.3459 | 0.05234 | 133 | 96 | 28 | 9 |
839 | Don't take this personally, but we're downsizing the department. | 1.3459 | 0.05011 | 133 | 94 | 32 | 7 |
840 | He doesn’t know how to say this, so… | 1.3456 | 0.05360 | 136 | 100 | 25 | 11 |
841 | We're doing it this way to insure his deniability. | 1.3456 | 0.05046 | 136 | 97 | 31 | 8 |
842 | I’m afraid that sticking it THERE is, at the moment, impossible! | 1.3456 | 0.05461 | 136 | 101 | 23 | 12 |
843 | The whole take your child to work vibe changed once Leon started bringing his puppets. | 1.3456 | 0.05258 | 136 | 99 | 27 | 10 |
844 | Some accountant you are! I checked with the IRS myself and under the new tax law, I CAN claim him as a dependent! | 1.3456 | 0.05360 | 136 | 100 | 25 | 11 |
845 | Put this in our dummy account. | 1.3451 | 0.04693 | 142 | 99 | 37 | 6 |
846 | That's right, I'm the blockhead who setup the dummy account. | 1.3435 | 0.05394 | 131 | 96 | 25 | 10 |
847 | We were just let go for job redundancy. | 1.3435 | 0.05171 | 131 | 94 | 29 | 8 |
848 | Have it on my desk, which is on his desk, by morning. | 1.3435 | 0.05056 | 131 | 93 | 31 | 7 |
849 | He'd tell you himself but he hates conflict. | 1.3435 | 0.05284 | 131 | 95 | 27 | 9 |
850 | Listen, I'm micro management. | 1.3435 | 0.05501 | 131 | 97 | 23 | 11 |
851 | I'd like to file an HR complaint about this downsizing memo. | 1.3435 | 0.05171 | 131 | 94 | 29 | 8 |
852 | I'm your new micro-manager. | 1.3435 | 0.05607 | 131 | 98 | 21 | 12 |
853 | I have a little addendum. | 1.3435 | 0.05056 | 131 | 93 | 31 | 7 |
854 | I've decided to write my own material. | 1.3435 | 0.05056 | 131 | 93 | 31 | 7 |
855 | Here's a memo that states from now on I speak for Allen. | 1.3435 | 0.05394 | 131 | 96 | 25 | 10 |
856 | I believe I speak for the boss, here, when I tell you, "You're fired!" | 1.3435 | 0.05394 | 131 | 96 | 25 | 10 |
857 | Think this might hold his attention at the next intelligence briefing? | 1.3435 | 0.05394 | 131 | 96 | 25 | 10 |
858 | Here’s my nomination for employee of the year award. | 1.3435 | 0.05284 | 131 | 95 | 27 | 9 |
859 | What's all this about keeping the 'little dummy' out of the loop? | 1.3435 | 0.05711 | 131 | 99 | 19 | 13 |
860 | I wish we didn't have to let you go, but of course it's not my decision to make. | 1.3433 | 0.05412 | 134 | 99 | 24 | 11 |
861 | LIMERICK: I once had a boss named Dick...He did a ventriloquist schtick...He thought it was funny...To talk through his dummy...But he just came across as a prick. | 1.3433 | 0.05412 | 134 | 99 | 24 | 11 |
862 | I’m no dummy. You’re not the first person to try and put words in my mouth. | 1.3431 | 0.05016 | 137 | 98 | 31 | 8 |
863 | Care to sign my petition on micro-managing? | 1.3413 | 0.05423 | 126 | 92 | 25 | 9 |
864 | My right-hand man has this great new proposal. | 1.3411 | 0.05447 | 129 | 95 | 24 | 10 |
865 | If I give you these instructions I printed off the internet, you can turn me into a real boy by tomorrow, right? | 1.3411 | 0.05220 | 129 | 93 | 28 | 8 |
866 | Shoot the messenger. | 1.3411 | 0.05665 | 129 | 97 | 20 | 12 |
867 | Heck, it’s easy. Any dum... er, anyone, can do it. | 1.3411 | 0.05220 | 129 | 93 | 28 | 8 |
868 | Listen, the boss has really been "up my ass" on this one. | 1.3411 | 0.05557 | 129 | 96 | 22 | 11 |
869 | It's not my fault that your boss called a talent agency instead of a temp agency. | 1.3411 | 0.04983 | 129 | 91 | 32 | 6 |
870 | Your non-confrontational boss has fired you. | 1.3411 | 0.05447 | 129 | 95 | 24 | 10 |
871 | Sorry about this, but they forced my hand. | 1.3411 | 0.05220 | 129 | 93 | 28 | 8 |
872 | It's from HR. Stop using my head when you knock wood. | 1.3411 | 0.05335 | 129 | 94 | 26 | 9 |
873 | Who's the dummy now, big guy? Check out these numbers! | 1.3411 | 0.05557 | 129 | 96 | 22 | 11 |
874 | You look like you could use a hand. | 1.3411 | 0.04733 | 129 | 89 | 36 | 4 |
875 | Just sign this nondisclosure agreement. The money is from my personal account. My boss will reimburse me but he doesn't know anything about it. | 1.3411 | 0.05447 | 129 | 95 | 24 | 10 |
876 | Here's the inside scoop, but let's just say you didn't hear it from me! | 1.3411 | 0.05557 | 129 | 96 | 22 | 11 |
877 | Yeah? Well this dummy’s got a corner office. | 1.3411 | 0.05220 | 129 | 93 | 28 | 8 |
878 | It seems nobody has the guts to discuss these personal hygiene tips with you. | 1.3411 | 0.05335 | 129 | 94 | 26 | 9 |
879 | For the record, I am not management’s puppet! | 1.3411 | 0.05220 | 129 | 93 | 28 | 8 |
880 | Just so you know, letting you go wasn't my idea. | 1.3411 | 0.05447 | 129 | 95 | 24 | 10 |
881 | This is brilliant work, I really related to your piece on being a "puppet for the man" | 1.3411 | 0.05335 | 129 | 94 | 26 | 9 |
882 | I bet you'd find the HR complaint more credible if he was constantly grabbing your behind! | 1.3411 | 0.05557 | 129 | 96 | 22 | 11 |
883 | Yes, I am speaking for myself! | 1.3411 | 0.05103 | 129 | 92 | 30 | 7 |
884 | Wilson, cancel this press release! You've got to stop putting words in my mouth. | 1.3411 | 0.04983 | 129 | 91 | 32 | 6 |
885 | It's called "Dummies for Dummies" | 1.3409 | 0.05139 | 132 | 95 | 29 | 8 |
886 | The preferred term is Manual Verbal Partner. | 1.3409 | 0.05025 | 132 | 94 | 31 | 7 |
887 | If my client could speak, he would tell you nothing. | 1.3409 | 0.04789 | 132 | 92 | 35 | 5 |
888 | He's a rescue | 1.3409 | 0.05673 | 132 | 100 | 19 | 13 |
889 | Why doesn't my invitation to your wedding have Plus-One? | 1.3409 | 0.04908 | 132 | 93 | 33 | 6 |
890 | Here is the independent confirmation for your story | 1.3409 | 0.05359 | 132 | 97 | 25 | 10 |
891 | The sock monkey is on family leave. | 1.3409 | 0.05466 | 132 | 98 | 23 | 11 |
892 | Read my lips..."No Collusion" | 1.3407 | 0.05480 | 135 | 101 | 22 | 12 |
893 | These are my terms. I can work for two ventriloquists but you can't both talk at the same time. | 1.3386 | 0.05725 | 127 | 96 | 19 | 12 |
894 | Do you know who you're talking to? I don't think you know just who you're talking to. | 1.3386 | 0.05150 | 127 | 91 | 29 | 7 |
895 | Parsons, when addressing a memo to management, the "d" in dummy should always be capitalized. | 1.3386 | 0.05614 | 127 | 95 | 21 | 11 |
896 | If it comes out of my mouth, you can be sure it's fake news. | 1.3386 | 0.05614 | 127 | 95 | 21 | 11 |
897 | My boss lets me speak for myself. | 1.3386 | 0.05150 | 127 | 91 | 29 | 7 |
898 | I'm collecting signatures on my petition to include termite treatment in our medical benefits. | 1.3386 | 0.04901 | 127 | 89 | 33 | 5 |
899 | This is my therapy doll. He's firing you. | 1.3386 | 0.05150 | 127 | 91 | 29 | 7 |
900 | This report looks like it was written for dummies! | 1.3386 | 0.05502 | 127 | 94 | 23 | 10 |
901 | I’m sick of you office drones looking down on us corporate puppets. | 1.3386 | 0.05270 | 127 | 92 | 27 | 8 |
902 | Arnold, I got us a great price on the Toys R Us deal, no strings attached. | 1.3386 | 0.04901 | 127 | 89 | 33 | 5 |
903 | Here's your notice, we're downsizing. | 1.3386 | 0.05270 | 127 | 92 | 27 | 8 |
904 | HR said that it would be easier this way, that it would "lighten the mood". I see now that they were mistaken. Please pack your belongings by the end of the day. | 1.3386 | 0.05270 | 127 | 92 | 27 | 8 |
905 | Here is my client's statement that he has no knowledge of anything and that I'm not his attorney. | 1.3386 | 0.05502 | 127 | 94 | 23 | 10 |
906 | I need it before I go back in my trunk. | 1.3386 | 0.04901 | 127 | 89 | 33 | 5 |
907 | As Mr. Jackson’s attorney, all communication must go through me. | 1.3386 | 0.05387 | 127 | 93 | 25 | 9 |
908 | Boss has been up my ass about getting you these reports. | 1.3386 | 0.05502 | 127 | 94 | 23 | 10 |
909 | HR policy, the word 'D' word is out, from now on, 'Ventriloquist's emotional support assistant' is the appropriate term, got that? | 1.3386 | 0.05150 | 127 | 91 | 29 | 7 |
910 | I demand equal pay. | 1.3386 | 0.05387 | 127 | 93 | 25 | 9 |
911 | Meet the new office shrink. | 1.3386 | 0.05270 | 127 | 92 | 27 | 8 |
912 | You heard ree: we ha a warren te sersh de remses. | 1.3386 | 0.05614 | 127 | 95 | 21 | 11 |
913 | Well, you said any dummy could it. | 1.3386 | 0.05614 | 127 | 95 | 21 | 11 |
914 | Sorry, the AI is down. | 1.3386 | 0.04639 | 127 | 87 | 37 | 3 |
915 | Who’s the dummy now? | 1.3386 | 0.05387 | 127 | 93 | 25 | 9 |
916 | From now on, this office will only have one micromanager. | 1.3385 | 0.04951 | 130 | 92 | 32 | 6 |
917 | Of course I stand behind this policy. | 1.3385 | 0.05186 | 130 | 94 | 28 | 8 |
918 | This letter from HR says you must address me as Jimbo even if you can see Steve's mouth moving, which you totally can't. | 1.3385 | 0.05300 | 130 | 95 | 26 | 9 |
919 | In my whole career as a therapy puppet, I’ve never seen such a mediocre report. | 1.3385 | 0.05070 | 130 | 93 | 30 | 7 |
920 | Can you read shorthand? | 1.3383 | 0.04993 | 133 | 95 | 31 | 7 |
921 | Here's my proctologist's number. I highly recommend him. | 1.3383 | 0.05325 | 133 | 98 | 25 | 10 |
922 | My therapist told me speaking in the third person helps regulate my emotions. | 1.3360 | 0.05199 | 125 | 90 | 28 | 7 |
923 | I wish management wasn’t so controlling. | 1.3360 | 0.04944 | 125 | 88 | 32 | 5 |
924 | I'd email these to you, but then how would you know he's a ventriloquist? | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
925 | Hey, I'm just the messenger. | 1.3360 | 0.05199 | 125 | 90 | 28 | 7 |
926 | The rumors are true, we're scaling down. | 1.3360 | 0.05073 | 125 | 89 | 30 | 6 |
927 | HR needs you to identify which of us you referred to as a 'dummy' in a suit. | 1.3360 | 0.05199 | 125 | 90 | 28 | 7 |
928 | ‘Read it! It speak’s for itself’ | 1.3360 | 0.05673 | 125 | 94 | 20 | 11 |
929 | This is a great scoop but I can’t reveal my source. | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
930 | I think it’s great, I’m just not sure the big man’s gonna like it. | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
931 | Pleased to meet you, I'm your bosses "therapy dummy". Here's your pink slip and he had nothing to do with this. | 1.3360 | 0.05786 | 125 | 95 | 18 | 12 |
932 | Can you take a look at this? The boss has been up my ass all day. | 1.3360 | 0.05786 | 125 | 95 | 18 | 12 |
933 | He's a hands-in kind of boss. | 1.3360 | 0.05673 | 125 | 94 | 20 | 11 |
934 | Read my lips: do it over | 1.3360 | 0.05558 | 125 | 93 | 22 | 10 |
935 | Attempts at "fun terminations" were not going well. | 1.3360 | 0.05673 | 125 | 94 | 20 | 11 |
936 | This is going to be hard to say | 1.3360 | 0.05441 | 125 | 92 | 24 | 9 |
937 | Do exactly what it says, or the big guy here gets it! | 1.3360 | 0.05441 | 125 | 92 | 24 | 9 |
938 | This is to put you on notice that you can no longer put words in my mouth. | 1.3360 | 0.05558 | 125 | 93 | 22 | 10 |
939 | The other dummy says you're fired, too. | 1.3360 | 0.05321 | 125 | 91 | 26 | 8 |
940 | My anger-management therapist said I should do this... just take the f•cking paper. | 1.3360 | 0.05673 | 125 | 94 | 20 | 11 |
941 | We're just not comfortable with your communication skills. | 1.3360 | 0.04812 | 125 | 87 | 34 | 4 |
942 | Here’s his resume. You get two for the price of one, I do all the talking and he does all the work. | 1.3360 | 0.05786 | 125 | 95 | 18 | 12 |
943 | We're not dummies. We're verbally-assisted communicators. | 1.3359 | 0.05351 | 128 | 94 | 25 | 9 |
944 | I took the words right out of his mouth. | 1.3359 | 0.05235 | 128 | 93 | 27 | 8 |
945 | Don't blame the messenger. | 1.3359 | 0.05465 | 128 | 95 | 23 | 10 |
946 | Who has the useless skill now? | 1.3359 | 0.05235 | 128 | 93 | 27 | 8 |
947 | It’s part of our two-factor verification process. | 1.3359 | 0.05686 | 128 | 97 | 19 | 12 |
948 | Did You Go Over My Head!! | 1.3359 | 0.05116 | 128 | 92 | 29 | 7 |
949 | If it was up to me I wouldn't fire you, but it's out of my hands. | 1.3359 | 0.05116 | 128 | 92 | 29 | 7 |
950 | Honestly Bill I wouldn't be making this proposal if it wasn't for the size of your hands. | 1.3359 | 0.05465 | 128 | 95 | 23 | 10 |
951 | I'm sure you've heard rumors that we're having a "reduction in size" here. | 1.3359 | 0.05465 | 128 | 95 | 23 | 10 |
952 | I'm afraid there's only room for one dummy in this organization. | 1.3333 | 0.05734 | 123 | 93 | 19 | 11 |
953 | Little Boss Man says it's time to pack your bags. Big Boss Man says thanks for your service. | 1.3333 | 0.05616 | 123 | 92 | 21 | 10 |
954 | And, finally, I resent being called a dummy. | 1.3333 | 0.05120 | 123 | 88 | 29 | 6 |
955 | As you see, the downsizing impacts us all | 1.3333 | 0.04988 | 123 | 87 | 31 | 5 |
956 | A brief reminder, Simmons, that I’m pulling the strings around here. | 1.3333 | 0.05374 | 123 | 90 | 25 | 8 |
957 | Corporate has sent some dummy to lay you off. | 1.3333 | 0.05374 | 123 | 90 | 25 | 8 |
958 | I need to file a complaint with HR. This guy won’t take his hand out of my ass. | 1.3333 | 0.05962 | 123 | 95 | 15 | 13 |
959 | Who's the dummy now Wilson? | 1.3333 | 0.05285 | 126 | 92 | 26 | 8 |
960 | Oh, but I can talk to you this way... Apparently, HR has no power over the ventriloquist loophole. | 1.3333 | 0.05496 | 123 | 91 | 23 | 9 |
961 | Don't put words in my mouth, Perkins--I never said we were downsizing! | 1.3333 | 0.04963 | 129 | 92 | 31 | 6 |
962 | I'm filing a complaint. This guy wasn't in the job description. | 1.3333 | 0.05849 | 123 | 94 | 17 | 12 |
963 | It's our new diversity policy | 1.3333 | 0.04852 | 123 | 86 | 33 | 4 |
964 | Don’t just stare at me, Bob. What do you take me for, a dummy?! | 1.3333 | 0.05248 | 123 | 89 | 27 | 7 |
965 | Here's his resume, please give him something to do so he'll get his hand out of my ass! | 1.3333 | 0.05616 | 123 | 92 | 21 | 10 |
966 | I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands. | 1.3333 | 0.05248 | 123 | 89 | 27 | 7 |
967 | from one dummy to another---next time read the memo. | 1.3333 | 0.05404 | 126 | 93 | 24 | 9 |
968 | I'm a third-party consultant. | 1.3333 | 0.05285 | 126 | 92 | 26 | 8 |
969 | I'm just the messenger, but you're fired. | 1.3333 | 0.05616 | 123 | 92 | 21 | 10 |
970 | Let's not make this more uncomfortable than it has to be. | 1.3333 | 0.05496 | 123 | 91 | 23 | 9 |
971 | Brad isn't very good with confrontation. | 1.3333 | 0.05496 | 123 | 91 | 23 | 9 |
972 | Gag order doesn't apply to me, Jimbo! | 1.3333 | 0.05248 | 123 | 89 | 27 | 7 |
973 | Take your child to work day was always an uncomfortable affair for Eugene... | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
974 | ' Here's my letter of resignation;he won't let me speak for myself." | 1.3306 | 0.05337 | 124 | 91 | 25 | 8 |
975 | This comes straight from the big guy. | 1.3306 | 0.05213 | 124 | 90 | 27 | 7 |
976 | You lost the vote for team leader 2 to 1. | 1.3306 | 0.05213 | 124 | 90 | 27 | 7 |
977 | Are you the one sending me all these dummy emails? | 1.3306 | 0.05458 | 124 | 92 | 23 | 9 |
978 | Without moving your lips, what do you have to say about this? | 1.3306 | 0.05458 | 124 | 92 | 23 | 9 |
979 | Here's a non-biased third-party review of your performance. | 1.3306 | 0.05676 | 121 | 91 | 20 | 10 |
980 | Your layoff notice. Who's the dummy now? | 1.3306 | 0.05299 | 121 | 88 | 26 | 7 |
981 | It's always the puppets that climb the corporate ladder. | 1.3280 | 0.04922 | 125 | 89 | 31 | 5 |
982 | Candice Bergen is suing you. | 1.3280 | 0.05539 | 125 | 94 | 21 | 10 |
983 | You're fired. That's the last time you'll call me a Muppet. | 1.3279 | 0.05132 | 122 | 88 | 28 | 6 |
984 | After pulling a few strings your transfer was approved. | 1.3279 | 0.05514 | 122 | 91 | 22 | 9 |
985 | Hey, I said read my lips, not his! | 1.3279 | 0.05132 | 122 | 88 | 28 | 6 |
986 | I documented every time you called me dummy. | 1.3279 | 0.05636 | 122 | 92 | 20 | 10 |
987 | So what!? You are communicating through a mouse. | 1.3279 | 0.05132 | 122 | 88 | 28 | 6 |
988 | Congratulations - you've been served. | 1.3279 | 0.05263 | 122 | 89 | 26 | 7 |
989 | That idiot Carl glued this to my hand. What? He's right behind be, isn't he? | 1.3279 | 0.05636 | 122 | 92 | 20 | 10 |
990 | I'm not sure what you mean in your complaint about me "micromanaging". | 1.3279 | 0.05390 | 122 | 90 | 24 | 8 |
991 | I don't want to see YOUR lips moving until this list is done. | 1.3279 | 0.05390 | 122 | 90 | 24 | 8 |
992 | I don't know about you, but I always feel my work is being influenced by some higher power. | 1.3279 | 0.04574 | 122 | 84 | 36 | 2 |
993 | No he's NOT putting words in my mouth. | 1.3279 | 0.05514 | 122 | 91 | 22 | 9 |
994 | Hi... I'm responding to your ad for Windows for Dummies lessons... | 1.3279 | 0.05263 | 122 | 89 | 26 | 7 |
995 | Could you mail this letter for me? I'd ask my friend, but I know exactly where his hand has been. | 1.3279 | 0.05755 | 122 | 93 | 18 | 11 |
996 | What part of 'you're being replaced by a dummy' don't you understand? | 1.3279 | 0.04861 | 122 | 86 | 32 | 4 |
997 | You thought his micromanaging was annoying before... | 1.3279 | 0.04861 | 122 | 86 | 32 | 4 |
998 | He needs more note pads and pens, and I need hemorrhoid cream. | 1.3279 | 0.05263 | 122 | 89 | 26 | 7 |
999 | Leave the talking to me. | 1.3279 | 0.05390 | 122 | 90 | 24 | 8 |
1000 | I am here to give you my resume for Chancellor of Germany. | 1.3279 | 0.05390 | 122 | 90 | 24 | 8 |
1001 | You know, I didn't really want to let you go. It's the Big Man that's pulling the strings here--it's outta my hands, bud. | 1.3279 | 0.05636 | 122 | 92 | 20 | 10 |
1002 | Who's the dummy now? You're being audited. | 1.3279 | 0.04999 | 122 | 87 | 30 | 5 |
1003 | Listen to me, not the big guy! I'm the one pulling the strings. | 1.3279 | 0.05390 | 122 | 90 | 24 | 8 |
1004 | Can you check to see if this NDA I signed can be tossed? I want to write a book about all the lies that have come out of my mouth. | 1.3267 | 0.06151 | 101 | 76 | 17 | 8 |
1005 | If you don't like this, tell it to the hand. | 1.3254 | 0.05143 | 126 | 92 | 27 | 7 |
1006 | Oh great, now I have two dummies for a boss. | 1.3252 | 0.05476 | 123 | 92 | 22 | 9 |
1007 | Johnson, I need you to review the Fassbinder contract. Oh, and tell Stevens to put me down. | 1.3252 | 0.05353 | 123 | 91 | 24 | 8 |
1008 | I guarantee that if you sign this, he will keep his mouth shut. | 1.3252 | 0.05596 | 123 | 93 | 20 | 10 |
1009 | Why would there be strings attached? | 1.3252 | 0.05227 | 123 | 90 | 26 | 7 |
1010 | I'm here to apply as Trump's spokeperson. | 1.3252 | 0.05714 | 123 | 94 | 18 | 11 |
1011 | It's your turn to take me to the board meeting | 1.3252 | 0.05227 | 123 | 90 | 26 | 7 |
1012 | So what's all this talk about "feeling micro-managed"? | 1.3252 | 0.05476 | 123 | 92 | 22 | 9 |
1013 | Mr. Gottfried is too cowardly to give you your pink slip, so he asked me to do it for him. | 1.3252 | 0.05353 | 123 | 91 | 24 | 8 |
1014 | Says here only one of us can be dead wood. | 1.3250 | 0.04903 | 120 | 85 | 31 | 4 |
1015 | Bill finally found a solution for his fear of confrontation. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1016 | Well, this ain't Silicon Valley, so what kind of A.I. do you think you're going to get around here?? | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1017 | Yes, it is ironic that I, the firm's hatchetman, was once a log." | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1018 | My emotional support dummy has found several glaring errors in your report. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1019 | He’s too shy to say it... you’re fired. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1020 | Can I please stay with you for a bit? Bob needs to use the rest room. | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1021 | Hey man, I'm just the messenger. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1022 | This is a brief on behalf of Michael Cohen. | 1.3250 | 0.05817 | 120 | 92 | 17 | 11 |
1023 | My client will assert his 5th amendment right to remain silent. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1024 | I'm being probed over this expense report. | 1.3250 | 0.05444 | 120 | 89 | 23 | 8 |
1025 | Actually, he’s the micromanager. He hasn’t left my side since I started here. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1026 | Don’t look so surprised! I told you both I was done playing the puppet around here. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1027 | why can’t we file a joint return? | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1028 | Here's another memo from the dummies that run this place. | 1.3250 | 0.04903 | 120 | 85 | 31 | 4 |
1029 | The boss hates firing people, but I don't. 'You're fired!' | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1030 | Hey, were you the dummy that put out this memo? | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1031 | It should be obvious, I read the small print. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1032 | I take offense to the joke about knowing when a lawyer is lying if his lips are moving. | 1.3250 | 0.05696 | 120 | 91 | 19 | 10 |
1033 | This is what we agreed on, so stop putting words in my mouth. | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1034 | Care to explain to my friend Bob here why you filed a complaint about a supposedly "passive aggressive" workplace? | 1.3250 | 0.05817 | 120 | 92 | 17 | 11 |
1035 | I'm the corporate attorney assigned to your confidential whistle blower consultation. | 1.3250 | 0.05571 | 120 | 90 | 21 | 9 |
1036 | ...and your lips better not move while you read it. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1037 | Take it from me, study these downsizing options carefully. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1038 | It says it right here: We all have to wear our jackets at work. That includes you, Simmons. | 1.3250 | 0.05444 | 120 | 89 | 23 | 8 |
1039 | If my lips are moving you’re fired! | 1.3250 | 0.04903 | 120 | 85 | 31 | 4 |
1040 | I hear that you have been known to kill the messenger. | 1.3250 | 0.05571 | 120 | 90 | 21 | 9 |
1041 | The big guy is really up my ass on this one | 1.3250 | 0.05696 | 120 | 91 | 19 | 10 |
1042 | Is this pink slip for me or the dummy? | 1.3250 | 0.05044 | 120 | 86 | 29 | 5 |
1043 | You never heard it from me. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1044 | The perfect attorney. He will say anything I want him to say but I can deny everything he does. | 1.3250 | 0.04903 | 120 | 85 | 31 | 4 |
1045 | Todd, this is important. Give it to little Todd as soon as he gets back. | 1.3250 | 0.05181 | 120 | 87 | 27 | 6 |
1046 | Frankly, I like you but Doug says you're fired. His words not mine. Don't kill the messenger. | 1.3250 | 0.05314 | 120 | 88 | 25 | 7 |
1047 | Look at this report and tell me who the real dummy is. | 1.3250 | 0.04758 | 120 | 84 | 33 | 3 |
1048 | Don't blame me, Greg, I'm just the messenger. | 1.3248 | 0.05126 | 117 | 84 | 28 | 5 |
1049 | There's too much of your voice in this memo. | 1.3223 | 0.05406 | 121 | 90 | 23 | 8 |
1050 | Carl here doesn't have the guts to say it but, you're fired. | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1051 | Desmond, this memo speaks for itself. | 1.3220 | 0.05630 | 118 | 89 | 20 | 9 |
1052 | No dummy would read this! | 1.3220 | 0.05500 | 118 | 88 | 22 | 8 |
1053 | Your report shows I'm not the only dummy in the room. | 1.3220 | 0.05882 | 118 | 91 | 16 | 11 |
1054 | You'll be my new assistant, old Peterson here is too handsy. | 1.3220 | 0.05630 | 118 | 89 | 20 | 9 |
1055 | I can also hand this to you while drinking a glass of water. | 1.3220 | 0.05090 | 118 | 85 | 28 | 5 |
1056 | Here are my emotional support puppet papers. | 1.3220 | 0.05630 | 118 | 89 | 20 | 9 |
1057 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint. | 1.3220 | 0.05882 | 118 | 91 | 16 | 11 |
1058 | I’m sorry, it’s out of my hands. | 1.3220 | 0.05230 | 118 | 86 | 26 | 6 |
1059 | Yeah, I’m his little bitch. | 1.3220 | 0.05500 | 118 | 88 | 22 | 8 |
1060 | This a court order to remove the termites from the mens’ room. | 1.3220 | 0.05090 | 118 | 85 | 28 | 5 |
1061 | Turns out you're redundant. Who's the dummy now? | 1.3220 | 0.05230 | 118 | 86 | 26 | 6 |
1062 | It's the latest must-read. Sinclair says I have to do it because Epshteyn's too wooden. Wait, he's standing behind me, isn't he? | 1.3220 | 0.05500 | 118 | 88 | 22 | 8 |
1063 | I'm not throwing him under the bus, but I did most of this work alone. | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1064 | Jones, here’s a memo. We’re trying to address all the ass-grabbing around here. | 1.3220 | 0.05757 | 118 | 90 | 18 | 10 |
1065 | This. By midnight, Jensen. Or you'll find out where he puts his hand. | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1066 | I’m not cutting your pension, Bob. He is. | 1.3220 | 0.05090 | 118 | 85 | 28 | 5 |
1067 | I think it’s worth repeating what Gary just said.... | 1.3220 | 0.04945 | 118 | 84 | 30 | 4 |
1068 | The boss is up my rear end about this one | 1.3220 | 0.05367 | 118 | 87 | 24 | 7 |
1069 | Let me guess... we're downsizing again? | 1.3193 | 0.05328 | 119 | 88 | 24 | 7 |
1070 | You feel belittled and demeaned? How do you think I feel? | 1.3193 | 0.05328 | 119 | 88 | 24 | 7 |
1071 | I thought that this was more humane that firing you by tweet. | 1.3193 | 0.05328 | 119 | 88 | 24 | 7 |
1072 | I'm not taking "No" for an answer! We've been through this before. Two against one, you lose! | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1073 | Read my lips.......not his!! | 1.3190 | 0.05948 | 116 | 90 | 15 | 11 |
1074 | I want to know who called me 'a little Hitler.' | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1075 | You're fired, Jones! Your boss tried to save your job, but I wouldn't listen to him! So it's all my fault. Your boss is a nice guy. You should only blame me... | 1.3190 | 0.05691 | 116 | 88 | 19 | 9 |
1076 | Plausible Deniability | 1.3190 | 0.05691 | 116 | 88 | 19 | 9 |
1077 | Consider it an arm's length dismissal. | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1078 | According to the fine print of the original partnership, any disagreements are to be resolved by a third party hand-picked by Mr. Smith. | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1079 | It's a little request. | 1.3190 | 0.05421 | 116 | 86 | 23 | 7 |
1080 | Need a re-write, Frank, you know I can't do B,F and M sounds yet | 1.3190 | 0.05421 | 116 | 86 | 23 | 7 |
1081 | Det. Hopkins, couldn’t shake that feeling that his partner was manipulating the captain. | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1082 | Its the non-disclosure agreement for my client who prefers to remain anonymous. | 1.3190 | 0.05691 | 116 | 88 | 19 | 9 |
1083 | You wrote this article like it's meant for dummies | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1084 | I'm here to deliver a memo from Inhuman Resources. | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1085 | And here's the lunch order for the Muppets' visit. | 1.3190 | 0.05691 | 116 | 88 | 19 | 9 |
1086 | I'll remind you of a little thing called "plausible deniability." | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1087 | Explain that again Rudy | 1.3190 | 0.05821 | 116 | 89 | 17 | 10 |
1088 | You wanted to know if dummies wrote these instructions and I'm here to confirm that. | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1089 | Hey Johnson, I got a raise; who's the dummy now? | 1.3190 | 0.05421 | 116 | 86 | 23 | 7 |
1090 | Trust me, you don't want to deal with his right-hand man. | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1091 | As per H.R.’s recommendation, here is a list of terms I prefer to ‘Dummy’. But how about we just try Dave…Todd’s friend Dave. | 1.3190 | 0.04989 | 116 | 83 | 29 | 4 |
1092 | A good boss sits around with his thumb up his ass; a great one delegates. | 1.3190 | 0.05691 | 116 | 88 | 19 | 9 |
1093 | Would a dummy have a three-year employment contract? | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1094 | Don't deny it, Jenkins -- I have a witness this time. | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1095 | Seriously, stop sending in cartoon captions to the New Yorker. They stink! And, yes, I know his lips are moving | 1.3190 | 0.06073 | 116 | 91 | 13 | 12 |
1096 | My boss has really been up my ass about this. | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1097 | I reviewed your expense account. Do you think I'm a dummy? | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1098 | You don't know me, but these are all the reasons why I think the brilliant guy behind me deserves a raise. | 1.3190 | 0.04515 | 116 | 80 | 35 | 1 |
1099 | Can you help me out. I can't read his writing. | 1.3190 | 0.05557 | 116 | 87 | 21 | 8 |
1100 | Here's your pink slip Stuart. So who's the dummy now? | 1.3190 | 0.05421 | 116 | 86 | 23 | 7 |
1101 | Don't listen to him. Here's your REAL performance review.... | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1102 | I'm the management consultant. He's the messenger you're not supposed to blame. | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1103 | Did you have a hand in this? | 1.3190 | 0.05137 | 116 | 84 | 27 | 5 |
1104 | Can I borrow your copy of Office For Dummies? | 1.3190 | 0.05821 | 116 | 89 | 17 | 10 |
1105 | You never heard this leak from me! | 1.3190 | 0.05281 | 116 | 85 | 25 | 6 |
1106 | it’s important that you both stay tight lipped about this. | 1.3162 | 0.05100 | 117 | 85 | 27 | 5 |
1107 | Just do what the big man says. | 1.3162 | 0.05516 | 117 | 88 | 21 | 8 |
1108 | Yes Henderson, we are downsizing, and guess what | 1.3162 | 0.05242 | 117 | 86 | 25 | 6 |
1109 | I'm not firing you, Hugo is firing you. | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
1110 | Just remember, we never had this conversation. | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
1111 | Your email indicates our company health insurance plan will not cover my termite treatments. | 1.3158 | 0.05616 | 114 | 86 | 20 | 8 |
1112 | I'm covered under his plan | 1.3158 | 0.05185 | 114 | 83 | 26 | 5 |
1113 | How about changing the title to Management for Dummies? | 1.3158 | 0.05616 | 114 | 86 | 20 | 8 |
1114 | I’m sorry, but we’ve all been affected by the recent downsizing. | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
1115 | Here's the caption contest winner, Frank. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1116 | Instead of E-mail, we will now be using vantrilograms. | 1.3158 | 0.05886 | 114 | 88 | 16 | 10 |
1117 | Any response to these demands? Asking for a friend . . . | 1.3158 | 0.04714 | 114 | 80 | 32 | 2 |
1118 | I'd like to file a complaint: this guy is making a dummy out of me. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1119 | It's an invitation to our wedding. | 1.3158 | 0.05033 | 114 | 82 | 28 | 4 |
1120 | Who you calling a dummy? I’m not the one being fired. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1121 | By creating a puppet version of himself and calling it Larry, Steve had ingeniously doubled his salary. | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
1122 | My boss has really been up my ass about this. | 1.3158 | 0.05616 | 114 | 86 | 20 | 8 |
1123 | 'The boss says you're fired.' | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1124 | Here's the new data for my online dummy corporation. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1125 | Doctor said it's double Laryngitis. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1126 | The writing felt a little wooden. | 1.3158 | 0.05333 | 114 | 84 | 24 | 6 |
1127 | We've formalized our micromanagement policy. | 1.3158 | 0.05616 | 114 | 86 | 20 | 8 |
1128 | I want equal pay for equal work, | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
1129 | Your peer group’s evaluation is finished. | 1.3158 | 0.05476 | 114 | 85 | 22 | 7 |
1130 | Jenksins, you should have come to me directly if you didn't like my conflict resolution style. Now I have the boss up my ass. | 1.3140 | 0.05382 | 121 | 91 | 22 | 8 |
1131 | It's mostly an effort to reduce managerial liabilty | 1.3130 | 0.06097 | 115 | 91 | 12 | 12 |
1132 | As Mr. Thompson’s sensitive, inner child, I am very offended by his performance review. | 1.3130 | 0.04681 | 115 | 81 | 32 | 2 |
1133 | It's your performance review. You need to learn to speak up for yourself. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1134 | Here is a list of terms that I find offensive. You will see that “dummy” is #3 right behind “subordinate” and “right-hand man." | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1135 | “Real cute memo Steve, but you misspelled ventriloquist”. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1136 | You'll be pleased to hear that we collaborated on this report. | 1.3125 | 0.05078 | 112 | 81 | 27 | 4 |
1137 | Hey, don't shoot the messenger. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1138 | He's been thinking we should let you go. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1139 | I think the call was for you, but no matter how close I held the phone to my ear, I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1140 | Little Louie here is my new right hand man. Remember, when you're talking to him you're talking to me. | 1.3125 | 0.05817 | 112 | 86 | 17 | 9 |
1141 | This is for you, but I’m not allowed to tell you where it came from. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1142 | Human Resources says I can take him anywhere. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1143 | The boss wants to know the reason for this contract with Michael Cohen. | 1.3125 | 0.05677 | 112 | 85 | 19 | 8 |
1144 | I hate to be the middle man here, Johnson | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1145 | And stop looking at me like I’ve got two heads | 1.3125 | 0.05817 | 112 | 86 | 17 | 9 |
1146 | I'm sorry Peterson, but it wasn't entirely my decision. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1147 | Listen, Greg, there's going to be some downsizing... | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1148 | You may well ask, 'who's the bigger dummy?' | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1149 | Do you understand the irony of me finding your mistake? | 1.3125 | 0.05817 | 112 | 86 | 17 | 9 |
1150 | We're downsizing, shrinking costs, and minimizing all positions. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1151 | You didn't hear it from me but we've started downsizing. | 1.3125 | 0.05817 | 112 | 86 | 17 | 9 |
1152 | He'd like to claim me as his dependent. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1153 | Au contraire. Hand lotion is a legitimate corporate expense. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1154 | I'm sorry, but this was my decision and my decision alone. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1155 | I’d like to file a restraining order. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1156 | Just a note from one dummy to another. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1157 | These figures speak for themselves. | 1.3125 | 0.05078 | 112 | 81 | 27 | 4 |
1158 | Do you think this is fun for me? | 1.3125 | 0.05078 | 112 | 81 | 27 | 4 |
1159 | Stop putting words in my mouth. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1160 | I was hired to read the fine print. | 1.3125 | 0.05533 | 112 | 84 | 21 | 7 |
1161 | You think it’s hard to talk like this - try writing cursive! | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1162 | You're not supposed to kill the messenger but this is just insurance in case you wanted to. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1163 | Read the fine print. We're downsizing. | 1.3125 | 0.05677 | 112 | 85 | 19 | 8 |
1164 | What's wrong with using Charlie McCarthy as a reference? | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1165 | If you ever get subpoenaed, just remember who gave you this memo. | 1.3125 | 0.05234 | 112 | 82 | 25 | 5 |
1166 | Mr. Schneider promised that HE wouldn't fire you. He never said that I, Mr. Twinkles, wouldn't fire you. You have five minutes to clear out. | 1.3125 | 0.05386 | 112 | 83 | 23 | 6 |
1167 | He doesn’t have the nerve to fire you but I do! | 1.3125 | 0.05078 | 112 | 81 | 27 | 4 |
1168 | Found this in the break room: ’Refrigerator Etiquette for Dummies’. That supposed to be funny? | 1.3119 | 0.05326 | 109 | 80 | 24 | 5 |
1169 | Please post this job. He's retiring but I can't afford to! | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1170 | You're fired! Don't blame me. I'm just the messenger. | 1.3119 | 0.05483 | 109 | 81 | 22 | 6 |
1171 | Mr. Schwartz, whom I am representing today, would like to apologize for what you perceived as creeepiness last week and to assure you that it will never happen again. | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1172 | He’d like to ask you for a raise. In exchange, he promises to work on his assertiveness. | 1.3119 | 0.05326 | 109 | 80 | 24 | 5 |
1173 | Would Bob be considered 'operations' on my expense report? | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1174 | Here,I dummied this up for you. | 1.3119 | 0.04824 | 109 | 77 | 30 | 2 |
1175 | Your book on Creative Writing for Dummies was manipulative and wooden. | 1.3119 | 0.05636 | 109 | 82 | 20 | 7 |
1176 | I didn't think this i is what you ment by "downsizing". | 1.3119 | 0.05164 | 109 | 79 | 26 | 4 |
1177 | You're fired.You may kill the messager. | 1.3119 | 0.05785 | 109 | 83 | 18 | 8 |
1178 | I wish I had better news for you in trying out my new act but, yeah, you're fired. | 1.3119 | 0.05326 | 109 | 80 | 24 | 5 |
1179 | Say hello to my little friend! | 1.3119 | 0.05483 | 109 | 81 | 22 | 6 |
1180 | Based on this report, I think we all know who the dummy is, Silverstein. | 1.3119 | 0.05785 | 109 | 83 | 18 | 8 |
1181 | The source is tight-lipped but I can vouch for his grip on the matter. | 1.3119 | 0.05483 | 109 | 81 | 22 | 6 |
1182 | I speak for the trees. | 1.3119 | 0.05483 | 109 | 81 | 22 | 6 |
1183 | I'm the dummy from human resources you were mocking online. Read my lips. You're fired | 1.3119 | 0.05326 | 109 | 80 | 24 | 5 |
1184 | Of course you have my word on it. | 1.3113 | 0.05586 | 106 | 79 | 21 | 6 |
1185 | Looks like we've both been downsized! | 1.3103 | 0.05254 | 116 | 86 | 24 | 6 |
1186 | I never said Sean Hannity was my client. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
1187 | Don't blame me. I'm just the messenger. | 1.3097 | 0.06039 | 113 | 89 | 13 | 11 |
1188 | They've been carrying me for years. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
1189 | I don’t think that’s what the McKinsey guys meant when they said we should downsize the secretarial staff. | 1.3097 | 0.05345 | 113 | 84 | 23 | 6 |
1190 | Have you heard? We're being downsized | 1.3097 | 0.05491 | 113 | 85 | 21 | 7 |
1191 | I should've asked more questions when he said I'd be working for his dummy corporation. | 1.3091 | 0.05285 | 110 | 81 | 24 | 5 |
1192 | He didn't know what he was doing. I was the dummy who overused the expense account. | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
1193 | There was no manipulation. | 1.3091 | 0.05592 | 110 | 83 | 20 | 7 |
1194 | We have received your complaint about management having a hand in HR matters and plan to look into it. | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
1195 | Frank, he couldn't bear to tell you this himself, but we're downsizing... | 1.3091 | 0.05285 | 110 | 81 | 24 | 5 |
1196 | Another stupid memo from the talking heads at corporate. | 1.3091 | 0.05592 | 110 | 83 | 20 | 7 |
1197 | Can you believe this?! Prohibiting ventriloquism in the office. We can't let this go without a fight. Right, Dave? | 1.3091 | 0.05592 | 110 | 83 | 20 | 7 |
1198 | Meet Steve he's our new micromanager. | 1.3091 | 0.05592 | 110 | 83 | 20 | 7 |
1199 | Mini Me-Too complaint. | 1.3091 | 0.05883 | 110 | 85 | 16 | 9 |
1200 | This speech sucks! Change it to: No puppet, no puppet, you’re the puppet. | 1.3091 | 0.05883 | 110 | 85 | 16 | 9 |
1201 | My inner voice says, "You're Fired". | 1.3091 | 0.05739 | 110 | 84 | 18 | 8 |
1202 | Read this,then let's compare notes on who's the real dummy | 1.3084 | 0.05379 | 107 | 79 | 23 | 5 |
1203 | It should come as no surprise that I'll be representing myself in these proceedings. | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1204 | You're fired! Ha! Now who's the dummy? | 1.3084 | 0.05379 | 107 | 79 | 23 | 5 |
1205 | I'm here to submit the minority report. | 1.3084 | 0.05213 | 107 | 78 | 25 | 4 |
1206 | Read this on your next broadcast: 'The president is no dummy!' | 1.3084 | 0.05851 | 107 | 82 | 17 | 8 |
1207 | From now on Bob here will carry me and you will do all of my social media. Be sure you make me sound tall. | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1208 | Why are you looking at him? I’m the one who said you’re fired. | 1.3084 | 0.05041 | 107 | 77 | 27 | 3 |
1209 | Of course he's the one who is really firing you, you idiot! | 1.3084 | 0.05698 | 107 | 81 | 19 | 7 |
1210 | I hate to do this, Jim, but corporate is really up my ass. | 1.3084 | 0.05379 | 107 | 79 | 23 | 5 |
1211 | Are you going to sign up for the office talent show? | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1212 | Yeah, I just landed the Synergen contract. Who's a dummy now, Ferrell? | 1.3084 | 0.06145 | 107 | 84 | 13 | 10 |
1213 | Another note from your secret admirer. You still haven't guessed who he is? | 1.3084 | 0.05541 | 107 | 80 | 21 | 6 |
1214 | Circulating a joke calling me a "woodpecker" is not only vulgar, it's insulting to my entire family on a deeply personal level. | 1.3084 | 0.06145 | 107 | 84 | 13 | 10 |
1215 | And this is my letter of recommendation for his promotion. | 1.3084 | 0.05379 | 107 | 79 | 23 | 5 |
1216 | Pay no attention to the man with his hand up my pants. | 1.3084 | 0.05851 | 107 | 82 | 17 | 8 |
1217 | If you had someone's hand up your @ss, you'd be cranky, too. Now, quit your whining and fix this memo! | 1.3070 | 0.05590 | 114 | 87 | 19 | 8 |
1218 | Can you understand this-dummy to dummy? | 1.3069 | 0.05758 | 101 | 76 | 19 | 6 |
1219 | Bad news Larry, we're cutting the size of our workforce by seventy-five percent. | 1.3063 | 0.05694 | 111 | 85 | 18 | 8 |
1220 | Firing people is such a messy business. I'd rather not deal with it. So my subordinate, Mr. Puppet is giving you your pink slip. You can argue with him if you like. | 1.3063 | 0.05399 | 111 | 83 | 22 | 6 |
1221 | This isn't coming from me, but we need you here on Saturday. | 1.3063 | 0.05245 | 111 | 82 | 24 | 5 |
1222 | Even I didn't understand your report. | 1.3063 | 0.05694 | 111 | 85 | 18 | 8 |
1223 | This is your severence package from those puppets in HR. | 1.3063 | 0.05245 | 111 | 82 | 24 | 5 |
1224 | Sorry, Jim. I wish it were up to me, but this is being handed down from above. | 1.3063 | 0.05548 | 111 | 84 | 20 | 7 |
1225 | I'm doing the White House Correspondents' Dinner next year. I need good jokes, not this crap. | 1.3063 | 0.05548 | 111 | 84 | 20 | 7 |
1226 | I'd like to start a dummy corp. | 1.3063 | 0.05399 | 111 | 83 | 22 | 6 |
1227 | We need a version of this without all the Bs, Fs, and Ms. | 1.3056 | 0.05803 | 108 | 83 | 17 | 8 |
1228 | Go ahead, kill the messenger. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1229 | Please revise this by 3pm, I have an appointment with my proctologist. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1230 | Hi. I'm Bruce, I'm the new micro-manager. | 1.3056 | 0.05337 | 108 | 80 | 23 | 5 |
1231 | See? A love letter from your wife. We're running away together. Now who's the dummy? | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1232 | Come back to work Monday with your own dummy, so we can have a dialog. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1233 | Just pretend we're talking until the boss leaves. | 1.3056 | 0.05337 | 108 | 80 | 23 | 5 |
1234 | Candy gram for Mongo! Haha just kidding, you're fired. | 1.3056 | 0.05950 | 108 | 84 | 15 | 9 |
1235 | Bob, could you be a doll and review this week's ventriloquiz questions? | 1.3056 | 0.05803 | 108 | 83 | 17 | 8 |
1236 | HR spinelessness reached a new low on Friday. | 1.3056 | 0.05497 | 108 | 81 | 21 | 6 |
1237 | Come on--don't give me the "I can't believe this!" look. Didn't HR tell you during the final interview that your boss was a dummy? | 1.3056 | 0.05002 | 108 | 78 | 27 | 3 |
1238 | This formal HR complaint outlines all the times my co-workers called me ‘dummy’. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1239 | Your work sucks! And that's me talking, not the guy behind me moving his lips. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1240 | Here, the note speaks for itself. | 1.3048 | 0.05918 | 105 | 81 | 16 | 8 |
1241 | Equal Pay for Dummies! | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1242 | What do you mean "my prose is too wooden"? | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1243 | I'm going to sue for sexual harassment if he doesn't get his hand off my butt ! | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1244 | Apparently, it seemed appropriate for me to deliver the orders to, “fire that dummy in accounting”! | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1245 | I had to pull some strings to get you this report, Travis. | 1.3048 | 0.05263 | 105 | 77 | 24 | 4 |
1246 | My monthly figures are fantastic - who’s the dummy NOW? | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1247 | I’m protesting this evaluation—I do NOT have Little Man’s Syndrome. | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1248 | Hey Gill, I found this pink slip with your name on it on the men’s room floor. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1249 | Don’t look at me that way when I’m talking to you. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1250 | Got the memo and wonder how you'd feel if I called you a "dummy?" | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1251 | You're the next one to be downsized. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1252 | This is a list of all of your work habits that annoy me. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1253 | Sorry Larry, we’re downsizing. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1254 | I'm sorry, but we're downsizing. | 1.3048 | 0.05263 | 105 | 77 | 24 | 4 |
1255 | They downsized me, can you believe it? | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1256 | If this project is late, you can guess where his other arm will be going! | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1257 | HR’s idea. You wanna hear the bad news from me or the CEO? | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1258 | You're being a real pain in the ass Frank. | 1.3048 | 0.06220 | 105 | 83 | 12 | 10 |
1259 | We found your prose to be a bit wooden. | 1.3048 | 0.05263 | 105 | 77 | 24 | 4 |
1260 | We find that this is more secure than email | 1.3048 | 0.05918 | 105 | 81 | 16 | 8 |
1261 | I'd like to submit a formal complaint for inappropriate touching. | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1262 | No, it's not me that's firing you, it's him. | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1263 | Read his lips, we're downsizing. | 1.3048 | 0.05086 | 105 | 76 | 26 | 3 |
1264 | Could you rewrite this in a different voice? | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1265 | Now my colleague here is going to drink a tall glass of water while I proceed to break all kinds of HR policies. | 1.3048 | 0.06071 | 105 | 82 | 14 | 9 |
1266 | I'm President. Trump's new lawyer, here is the latest press release. | 1.3048 | 0.06071 | 105 | 82 | 14 | 9 |
1267 | Asking for a friend. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1268 | He doesn't like confrontation, so he asked me to tell you that you're fired. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1269 | Rudy said to tell you this constitutes "plausible denial." | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1270 | Be assured that I speak for both of us when I tell you that your "Gardening for Dummies" idea for a weekly column has been rejected. | 1.3048 | 0.05600 | 105 | 79 | 20 | 6 |
1271 | For the record, I didn't want to fire you - it was his idea. | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1272 | Here. Computer Tips from Dummies. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1273 | Feel free to kill the messenger. | 1.3048 | 0.05434 | 105 | 78 | 22 | 5 |
1274 | What do you mean I'm just a puppet for the corporation? | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1275 | Here's my official request for Roger to warm his hands up in the morning. | 1.3048 | 0.05761 | 105 | 80 | 18 | 7 |
1276 | Read this. I'm sick of this guy putting words in mouth. | 1.3048 | 0.05918 | 105 | 81 | 16 | 8 |
1277 | Read my lips: this bill is outrageous. | 1.3028 | 0.05607 | 109 | 83 | 19 | 7 |
1278 | Hey, don't look at me I'm just the middle-man. | 1.3028 | 0.05295 | 109 | 81 | 23 | 5 |
1279 | We're in the Charley McCarthy era now. | 1.3028 | 0.05295 | 109 | 81 | 23 | 5 |
1280 | Sorry for the short notice, but your department is being downsized. I’m your replacement! | 1.3019 | 0.05555 | 106 | 80 | 20 | 6 |
1281 | Could you check my resume? I am thinking of going out on my own. | 1.3019 | 0.04865 | 106 | 76 | 28 | 2 |
1282 | The decision to fire you was entirely mine and mine alone. | 1.3019 | 0.05714 | 106 | 81 | 18 | 7 |
1283 | Can you tell me if this memo comes off as wooden? | 1.3019 | 0.05714 | 106 | 81 | 18 | 7 |
1284 | Always read the small print. | 1.3019 | 0.05221 | 106 | 78 | 24 | 4 |
1285 | I don’t think this is what the board meant when they said there would be downsizing | 1.3019 | 0.05714 | 106 | 81 | 18 | 7 |
1286 | I told you it was a dummy corporation. | 1.3019 | 0.05390 | 106 | 79 | 22 | 5 |
1287 | I need this report done for the dummy upstairs | 1.3019 | 0.05390 | 106 | 79 | 22 | 5 |
1288 | You're fired Mr. 'that thing really gives me the creeps and I hope we're not secretly being taped'. | 1.3019 | 0.05869 | 106 | 82 | 16 | 8 |
1289 | H.R. sent me to say, "Now who's the dummy?' | 1.3019 | 0.05714 | 106 | 81 | 18 | 7 |
1290 | Maybe next time you'll think twice about calling your boss a dummy. | 1.3019 | 0.05046 | 106 | 77 | 26 | 3 |
1291 | Here's a short memo from the big guy. | 1.3019 | 0.05390 | 106 | 79 | 22 | 5 |
1292 | This company has no place for dummies like you, Johnson! | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1293 | "I forgot how to talk directly to a person". | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
1294 | Read my lips, Henderson, no new faxes. | 1.3010 | 0.06145 | 103 | 81 | 13 | 9 |
1295 | Just sign it. You will only carry me on Tuesdays. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1296 | Even a dummy could write a better page than this! | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1297 | No. I don't think there's anything funny about layoffs, Jim... I just told you this wasn't my decision – it comes from higher up. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1298 | I wanted to give this to you in person. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1299 | The rumors were going around about downsizing, but you never think it will happen to you. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1300 | I’ve got to hand it to you, this e-mail really took the words right out of my mouth. | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
1301 | As discussed at the last department meeting, corporate now requires that reviews be delivered by a neutral third party. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1302 | Just trust me--there's no one secretly pulling the strings here. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1303 | This guy is making me say,"You're Fired". | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
1304 | I notice you have us sharing a hotel room on this conference itinerary. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1305 | The boss has been getting more tight-fisted about expenses each quarter | 1.3010 | 0.05988 | 103 | 80 | 15 | 8 |
1306 | According to this report, you’re the dummy, not me. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1307 | “I’d like to report a case of identity theft”.... | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1308 | You missed the Not From My Lips seminar. Fact Juggling tomorrow. | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
1309 | I'm his alibi and here's my statement. | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1310 | Care to sign the big fellas' birthday card, Thompson? | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1311 | If you send me one more note, I’m going to scream without moving my lips. | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1312 | He's touching me without my consent." | 1.3010 | 0.05988 | 103 | 80 | 15 | 8 |
1313 | It takes one to know one. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1314 | Let's go over this piece I copied from Management Skills For Dummies | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1315 | I'm just the messenger, don't shoot me, | 1.3010 | 0.05132 | 103 | 75 | 25 | 3 |
1316 | Can you get this done by noon? Asking for a friend. | 1.3010 | 0.05827 | 103 | 79 | 17 | 7 |
1317 | I'm applying for the woodworking job. | 1.3010 | 0.05314 | 103 | 76 | 23 | 4 |
1318 | Use of a third party can be an effective way of delivering bad news. | 1.3010 | 0.04943 | 103 | 74 | 27 | 2 |
1319 | You're fine with me, but my buddy has some bad news. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1320 | The job offer came down to you and him, we picked the dummy. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1321 | I'm sorry, but we're downsizing. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1322 | I’m sorry, but I’m not the one pulling the strings around here. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1323 | This guy is harassing me. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1324 | Jim, weeth hired a new sklokesklerson. Could you rewrite this skleech ooeethout using any th's, enn's, klee's, koo's, th's, or ooh's? | 1.3010 | 0.05988 | 103 | 80 | 15 | 8 |
1325 | I realize this raise is slighylty less than you expexted, but I wanted to present it to you personally. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1326 | They’re downsizing again. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1327 | He says, "You're fired." | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1328 | He thought you might take it better if you heard it from me. | 1.3010 | 0.05132 | 103 | 75 | 25 | 3 |
1329 | It’s the #MeToo thing. He’s got to have something else to do with his hands. | 1.3010 | 0.06145 | 103 | 81 | 13 | 9 |
1330 | We may have to pull a few strings this quarter. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1331 | The trick is, you have to try to throw your invoice. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1332 | A source very close to your boss says you're fired. | 1.3010 | 0.05490 | 103 | 77 | 21 | 5 |
1333 | His doctor says he lost his voice. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1334 | He would've told you in person, but he hasn't been himself lately. | 1.3010 | 0.05132 | 103 | 75 | 25 | 3 |
1335 | If my lips are moving, I’m telling the truth. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1336 | Frank wanted to keep you on, but I am concerned about your ability to think for yourself. | 1.3010 | 0.05661 | 103 | 78 | 19 | 6 |
1337 | I call him Mini Middle Management Me. | 1.3000 | 0.04820 | 100 | 71 | 28 | 1 |
1338 | My mouthpiece stands behind me on the issue. | 1.3000 | 0.05254 | 110 | 82 | 23 | 5 |
1339 | Jim, I don’t think this is what they meant when they said Dummy Corporation. | 1.2991 | 0.05667 | 107 | 82 | 18 | 7 |
1340 | I'm sick and tired of being the mouthpiece for this company. You treat me just like a dummy. | 1.2991 | 0.05667 | 107 | 82 | 18 | 7 |
1341 | It's a Mini-Memo. | 1.2991 | 0.05007 | 107 | 78 | 26 | 3 |
1342 | This really is my birth certificate. | 1.2981 | 0.05445 | 104 | 78 | 21 | 5 |
1343 | Like the memo says, we’re all being downsized. | 1.2981 | 0.05614 | 104 | 79 | 19 | 6 |
1344 | We have your contract. It requires you keep your mouth shut. | 1.2981 | 0.05778 | 104 | 80 | 17 | 7 |
1345 | No dummy, you're fired! | 1.2981 | 0.05271 | 104 | 77 | 23 | 4 |
1346 | I'm trying to read it but do you know where his thumb is! | 1.2981 | 0.05614 | 104 | 79 | 19 | 6 |
1347 | You've become redundant... | 1.2981 | 0.05937 | 104 | 81 | 15 | 8 |
1348 | Don’t put words in my mouth! | 1.2981 | 0.05445 | 104 | 78 | 21 | 5 |
1349 | This isn’t coming from me, but you need to re-do this. | 1.2981 | 0.05091 | 104 | 76 | 25 | 3 |
1350 | This is the weirdest result of “take your kids to work day” I’ve seen in the past couple of years | 1.2981 | 0.05445 | 104 | 78 | 21 | 5 |
1351 | Hey Paul. Unfortunately, we're letting you go...I thought this bit would make it easier | 1.2981 | 0.05778 | 104 | 80 | 17 | 7 |
1352 | I’m no Michelle Wolf but I’ll give it to you straight: You’re subpoenaed! | 1.2981 | 0.05614 | 104 | 79 | 19 | 6 |
1353 | You're fired! So who's the dummy now? | 1.2981 | 0.05937 | 104 | 81 | 15 | 8 |
1354 | Welcome to the office. I am a Service Dummy for leaders with small hands. Sign this memo to adopt me now. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1355 | I told you we're downsizing. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1356 | Jokes? You call these jokes? We can’t go on stage with this garbage!! | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1357 | Once you sign this contract, you'll be a puppet, too. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1358 | Yeah...well this script stinks and you can't make him make me say these lines! | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1359 | My colleague here thinks your report is a little wooden. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1360 | We were told to be more creative in our delivery so, you have been served | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1361 | Why can't you just talk to me about this? | 1.2970 | 0.04781 | 101 | 72 | 28 | 1 |
1362 | Do you expect me to read this? | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1363 | That's MISTER Strawboss to you. | 1.2970 | 0.05179 | 101 | 74 | 24 | 3 |
1364 | Just remember I’m not the one firing you. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1365 | It's as if a dummy wrote this! | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1366 | Some strings may need to be pulled. | 1.2970 | 0.05179 | 101 | 74 | 24 | 3 |
1367 | You don't work here anymore, but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1368 | I'm here to look into the dummy accounts. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1369 | just take the paper, ignore the guy with his hand up my butt | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1370 | We’re working on our delegating. | 1.2970 | 0.05179 | 101 | 74 | 24 | 3 |
1371 | Here's a list of my trigger words. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1372 | Sorry Bob, my hands are tied | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1373 | Read my lips, dummy! | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1374 | No healthcare, no retirement, no paternal leave? You must think I’m a real dummy. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1375 | Today, I’m gonna teach you how to be a corporate puppet. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1376 | You left your resume on the copier. And they say I’m a dummy. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1377 | This is funny. We don’t pay you for funny. | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1378 | Which one of us are you firing exactly? | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1379 | Sorry for the quick turnaround but the boss is really up my butt about it. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1380 | Requisition for a urinal I can reach. Alone. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1381 | And I need you to redo—hey, buddy, my eyes are down here. | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1382 | Sorry, you're being downsized .... | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1383 | We're doing a collection for Paul's dummy down in Accounting. Dry rot. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1384 | Sorry it has to be like this, but we feel Barbie can fill your position quite nicely... | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1385 | It says, 'Help me, this maniac has his hand up my ass!' | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1386 | You did not receive this from me. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1387 | I'm only the messenger. He wrote it. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1388 | You the HR Manager? OK, here's my complaint. This guy won't get his hand off my butt! | 1.2970 | 0.06221 | 101 | 80 | 12 | 9 |
1389 | Management's under a gag order, but I can tell you, "You're fired." | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1390 | I speak for both of us when I say that your "Puppet States during World War II" article is offensively titled. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1391 | Rewrite this speech without using the letters M, B, and P. | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1392 | I'm proud to say I've got a hand in this project. | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1393 | The board's new strategic plan is to downsize. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1394 | Read my lips, this is the memo. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1395 | Rudi, be polite to the nice man from the Special Counsel's office | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1396 | Unfortunately we're downsizing. | 1.2970 | 0.05894 | 101 | 78 | 16 | 7 |
1397 | When I asked you to set up a dummy corporation this is NOT what I meant. | 1.2970 | 0.06221 | 101 | 80 | 12 | 9 |
1398 | Just saying | 1.2970 | 0.06060 | 101 | 79 | 14 | 8 |
1399 | There was no easier way to say this. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1400 | Believe me, I’m just the messenger. | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1401 | Would you consider supporting us in the #metwo movement? | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1402 | I'm here for the interview. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1403 | These are the invoices for the dummy corporation. | 1.2970 | 0.05724 | 101 | 77 | 18 | 6 |
1404 | The dummy wants this done yesterday, | 1.2970 | 0.05548 | 101 | 76 | 20 | 5 |
1405 | Sorry, but management is up my ass. | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1406 | Rogers, what's this jab about clearing out the dead wood around here? | 1.2970 | 0.05367 | 101 | 75 | 22 | 4 |
1407 | No, you're redundant! | 1.2959 | 0.05840 | 98 | 75 | 17 | 6 |
1408 | Sorry, we’re downsizing. | 1.2959 | 0.05840 | 98 | 75 | 17 | 6 |
1409 | I'm forming a "Me Too Movement" for dummies. This guy won't keep his hands off me. | 1.2959 | 0.05068 | 98 | 71 | 25 | 2 |
1410 | As it turns out,I’m not the only dummy in the room. | 1.2959 | 0.05657 | 98 | 74 | 19 | 5 |
1411 | Due to downsizing, we're going to have to let you go. | 1.2952 | 0.05730 | 105 | 81 | 17 | 7 |
1412 | You'll see it clearly stated our "Bring Your Child To Work Day" is a very liberal policy. | 1.2952 | 0.05730 | 105 | 81 | 17 | 7 |
1413 | You're not the first man who expects a hand up to get ahead. | 1.2941 | 0.06167 | 102 | 81 | 12 | 9 |
1414 | They always leave the dirty work to the little man. | 1.2941 | 0.05501 | 102 | 77 | 20 | 5 |
1415 | Here's the long and the short of it. | 1.2941 | 0.06474 | 102 | 83 | 8 | 11 |
1416 | What happens to me if he signs this separation gag order. | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
1417 | Don’t listen to him, read my lips. | 1.2941 | 0.05136 | 102 | 75 | 24 | 3 |
1418 | I decided to be humane and not fire you by Twitter. | 1.2941 | 0.05843 | 102 | 79 | 16 | 7 |
1419 | It's called 'Management for Dummies'. | 1.2941 | 0.05843 | 102 | 79 | 16 | 7 |
1420 | For your information, I'm not talking out of my ass. | 1.2941 | 0.06167 | 102 | 81 | 12 | 9 |
1421 | This new HR sensitivity initiative aims to educate people on why "ventriloquial figure" should be used in lieu of "dummy" | 1.2941 | 0.05675 | 102 | 78 | 18 | 6 |
1422 | No, you're the puppet. | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
1423 | With Johnson away on vacation next week, I'm going to need you to lend a hand in the communications department... | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
1424 | Excellent memo Bob. Some day you may work your hand up my ass. | 1.2941 | 0.05843 | 102 | 79 | 16 | 7 |
1425 | The other dummy in the big office wants you to do this. | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
1426 | My job, unlike yours, has no strings attached | 1.2941 | 0.05322 | 102 | 76 | 22 | 4 |
1427 | It’s a White House leak. If you take it from the dummy it won’t connect to me | 1.2941 | 0.05501 | 102 | 77 | 20 | 5 |
1428 | Ralph has decided to give you this letter of termination | 1.2941 | 0.05675 | 102 | 78 | 18 | 6 |
1429 | Corporate really forced my hand! | 1.2941 | 0.05501 | 102 | 77 | 20 | 5 |
1430 | Here's the latest....hey, I never noticed how small your hands are, Johnson! Are you some kind of freak? | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1431 | Look, I've written you up for calling your boss 'a dummy.' | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1432 | Here’s some fake news that’s straight from a dumbie. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1433 | Sorry ... if we had a Dummy Resources Department, I wouldn't have to bother you with this. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1434 | We prefer the word "downsizing." | 1.2929 | 0.05026 | 99 | 72 | 25 | 2 |
1435 | Award? It's a pink slip, you dummy! | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1436 | HR recommends all employee/management interactions go through a middle man to reduce liability. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1437 | Try doing my job with an arm up your ass. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1438 | Request for raise denied! And don’t ever go behind my back again! | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1439 | Here's the approval for your vacation time. You can't imagine the strings I had to pull. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1440 | Donald has hired me to replace John Kelly. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1441 | You're the one with pupils, read this. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1442 | I was worried when the rumors of downsizing started to spread, but this isn’t so bad | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1443 | This isn't what I asked for. Do I look like a dummy? | 1.2929 | 0.05227 | 99 | 73 | 23 | 3 |
1444 | Boss won't get off your back, either, huh? | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1445 | Sorry, Simmons, this office isn't big enough for two dummies. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1446 | Just look at this! What kind of dummy do you take me for? | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1447 | From one dummy to another - you're fired! | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1448 | My notification of inappropriate touching. | 1.2929 | 0.06300 | 99 | 79 | 11 | 9 |
1449 | He's pleading the fifth. I'm not. Here's my plea deal. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1450 | H.R. said I should try to connect to my staff through humor, so Lil Bossy will be giving you your pink slip instead. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1451 | Do it yourself, Johnson, I'm not your puppet. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1452 | From one dummy to another - you're fired! | 1.2929 | 0.06300 | 99 | 79 | 11 | 9 |
1453 | I'm replacing you! | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1454 | You have the right to remain silent. | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1455 | yes it's in shorthand...so what? | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1456 | Don't hit me, I'm just the messenger! | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1457 | You're fired effective immediately. The big guy's got my back on this one. | 1.2929 | 0.06134 | 99 | 78 | 13 | 8 |
1458 | Don does not accept this negative people skills evaluation. Good day. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1459 | Don’t be mad at me, this came straight from the big man. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1460 | You're fired! So who's the dummy now? | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1461 | It's not really a pink slip and I'm not really a person, but you're fired anyway. | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1462 | It's from a place called Essential Consultants. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1463 | Here is our resume, he doesn't talk much, but he's affable. I'm the genius with the ideas. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1464 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint. I think the reasons are obvious, but I completed the paperwork anyway. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1465 | This guy behind me doesn't have the balls to give you this. | 1.2929 | 0.05788 | 99 | 76 | 17 | 6 |
1466 | It's a new strategic initiative. Everyone must downsize. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1467 | As a part of 'Me Too' I want to report my co-worker who refuses to stop sticking his hand up my butt! | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1468 | Bend over, you’re next. | 1.2929 | 0.05964 | 99 | 77 | 15 | 7 |
1469 | Larry often fell into bad habits when forced to deliver bad news. | 1.2929 | 0.05607 | 99 | 75 | 19 | 5 |
1470 | I feel like you're putting words in my mouth. | 1.2929 | 0.05420 | 99 | 74 | 21 | 4 |
1471 | You guessed it: you've been downsized. | 1.2917 | 0.05524 | 96 | 72 | 20 | 4 |
1472 | We think this is a dumb idea! | 1.2913 | 0.04904 | 103 | 75 | 26 | 2 |
1473 | The boss's list of rules here says you shouldn't speak until spoken through. | 1.2913 | 0.05627 | 103 | 79 | 18 | 6 |
1474 | Memo is not finished because I have something up my butt. | 1.2913 | 0.06113 | 103 | 82 | 12 | 9 |
1475 | He's been carrying me for years. | 1.2913 | 0.05094 | 103 | 76 | 24 | 3 |
1476 | Well, I told corporate we could use a hand. | 1.2913 | 0.05627 | 103 | 79 | 18 | 6 |
1477 | Stop channeling others! Find your own voice! | 1.2900 | 0.04984 | 100 | 73 | 25 | 2 |
1478 | Honestly Bob if you’re late with these charts one more time he’s going to have his hand up yours. | 1.2900 | 0.05738 | 100 | 77 | 17 | 6 |
1479 | Do you take me for a dummy? | 1.2900 | 0.05183 | 100 | 74 | 23 | 3 |
1480 | It says that, in order to get the payments, you need to set up a dummy corporation. | 1.2900 | 0.05559 | 100 | 76 | 19 | 5 |
1481 | Looks like you're on the downsizing list too. | 1.2900 | 0.05738 | 100 | 77 | 17 | 6 |
1482 | Don't ezen try to read za snall trint. | 1.2900 | 0.06403 | 100 | 81 | 9 | 10 |
1483 | Bad news, Johnson -- you're fired. HR thought it would be better if you heard it from me. | 1.2900 | 0.05374 | 100 | 75 | 21 | 4 |
1484 | We’re all puppets here Johnson, Don’t blame us for this decision.... | 1.2900 | 0.05183 | 100 | 74 | 23 | 3 |
1485 | Read my lips, no more faxes. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1486 | Pay no attention to the guy with his hand up my butt. Per this directive from HR, you are to henceforth refer to me as "Ventriloquist Assistant," as "dummy" has been deemed"demeaning" and "insensitive." | 1.2887 | 0.06211 | 97 | 77 | 12 | 8 |
1487 | Don't worry, whatever I told you to do is protected by attorney-client privilege. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1488 | You gotta problem with the short list ??? | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1489 | Management For Dummies says you get a pay cut. | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1490 | This next round of downsizing is going to happen a little differently. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1491 | Don't mind him! He's only the Voice-President. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1492 | I need you to approve this expense report for a mini suit and wood polish. | 1.2887 | 0.05068 | 97 | 71 | 24 | 2 |
1493 | Heath Services Memo: Time for your colonoscopy. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1494 | Sorry, Anders. We're downsizing. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1495 | I highly recommend "Accounting for Dummies." | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1496 | E need your redort in tull dy da end of da day. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1497 | This is everything you need, but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1498 | Here is your copy of management’s new policy on passive aggressive workplace behavior. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1499 | The boss hates confrontations. You're fired. | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1500 | When I say I want ads that even a dummy can understand that is EXACTLY what I mean! | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1501 | Another corporate mandate we must pay lip service to. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1502 | I do performance reviews like this so you don't feel like the only dummy at the office | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1503 | I’m not trying to micromanage you but... | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1504 | I'm his middle manager. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1505 | Corporate’s metaphors are getting pretty honest. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1506 | Trust me, you don’t want him up your ass about this. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1507 | Here, my concerns about downsizing! | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1508 | Write me some better jokes. This sucks. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1509 | Which one of us do you hope the resignation letter is from? | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1510 | Oh, and the board would like to see all of this done while you’re drinking a glass of water. | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1511 | He's got laryngitis. It's all in the note. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1512 | ..."you still owe us for the thin mints..." | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1513 | Hand me that water and I'll read this pink slip in a funny voice. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1514 | You must think I’m a real dummy to not know this is the same memo you wrote last week. | 1.2887 | 0.06211 | 97 | 77 | 12 | 8 |
1515 | Do this over and take out the part where I drink the glass of water. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1516 | Here's a pink slip for you. I had nothing to do with it. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1517 | Looks like the two of us will be working together this weekend. | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1518 | Hello. Please get this guys hand out of my ass. Thank you. | 1.2887 | 0.06211 | 97 | 77 | 12 | 8 |
1519 | You're fired! And no he's not putting words into my mouth. | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1520 | Distribute this. It’s a reminder about who really pulls the strings around here. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1521 | You wrote this and you’re calling me a dummy?! | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1522 | The boss wants you to have the weekend off, but I say you have to work. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1523 | Edwards! Type this while he finishes my proctology exam! | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1524 | You're sharp, Smedley. How would you like to have your hand up my tuckus one day? | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1525 | The man with his hand up my back bears absolutely no responsibility for this bad news. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1526 | This isn’t easy for me either. Jones has his hand up my rear. | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1527 | No, I just look like him, you idiot! | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1528 | Yeah, the difference is you have your hand on a mouse. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1529 | As you see, Mr. Carsen is not handing this letter to you, I am. | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1530 | He signs all my tax returns and I get to deduct him. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1531 | Here are the results of your psych exam | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1532 | Here's proof there was collusion in the election and you don't need a dummy to explain it to you. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1533 | No, you're the puppet. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1534 | I promise – go ahead, sign this – no strings attached. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1535 | Take it from one puppet to another...this is serious. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1536 | Can I ask you a weird question? | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1537 | It's a new form of micromanagement | 1.2887 | 0.05276 | 97 | 72 | 22 | 3 |
1538 | Here you go big guy. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1539 | It's a subpoena. Unlike him, you have the right to remain silent. | 1.2887 | 0.05475 | 97 | 73 | 20 | 4 |
1540 | Ventriloquism is just one of the many hobbies you’ll have time for now. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1541 | Don’t take me for a dummy, Carlton. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1542 | "I've just been diagnosed with laryngitis. Here's my Dr's note". | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1543 | Speaking for myself, your memos could be shorter. | 1.2887 | 0.06035 | 97 | 76 | 14 | 7 |
1544 | I need a hand. | 1.2887 | 0.05855 | 97 | 75 | 16 | 6 |
1545 | "Ventriloquism for Dummies"? It'll never sell. | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1546 | You did say loose lips sink ships | 1.2887 | 0.05668 | 97 | 74 | 18 | 5 |
1547 | We all know who the real puppet is around here, Gary. | 1.2871 | 0.05859 | 101 | 79 | 15 | 7 |
1548 | Is this the proper form for a Dummy Corporation? | 1.2871 | 0.05688 | 101 | 78 | 17 | 6 |
1549 | Hawkins! Process this requisition for a new ventriloquist. This one's a real dummy. | 1.2857 | 0.05230 | 98 | 73 | 22 | 3 |
1550 | You're officially on short notice. | 1.2857 | 0.05230 | 98 | 73 | 22 | 3 |
1551 | You might be pleasantly surprised by what our new behavioral health plan covers. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
1552 | I was told the tax break applied to small business men as well. | 1.2857 | 0.05981 | 98 | 77 | 14 | 7 |
1553 | This speaks for itself. | 1.2857 | 0.06154 | 98 | 78 | 12 | 8 |
1554 | Did you get the memo that we've been downsized? | 1.2857 | 0.05230 | 98 | 73 | 22 | 3 |
1555 | Johnson, did you write this email making fun of little people? | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
1556 | Read my lips: no more going behind my back! | 1.2857 | 0.06154 | 98 | 78 | 12 | 8 |
1557 | I'd like to file sexual assault charges on this man. | 1.2857 | 0.05802 | 98 | 76 | 16 | 6 |
1558 | I don't want that idiot Jenkins handling this. Or me. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
1559 | Who's my source? I'll never tell. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
1560 | This wuss behind me is too shy to fire you, but I'm not. | 1.2857 | 0.05427 | 98 | 74 | 20 | 4 |
1561 | Can you look over this spreadsheet for me? I can't trust those dummies in accounting. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1562 | My supervisor is telling me to tell you that this memo tells you to be more direct with your employees. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1563 | I'm the one soley responsible for letting you go, however, Mr Snipes accompanied me to wish you well | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1564 | Your boss wanted me to tell you that you're fired. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1565 | There. I paid all $130,000 myself! | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1566 | In simple Latin, I'm a homunculus and this is a subpoena! | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1567 | No, Chris, using your ventriloquist dummy to tell me my mother has passed did not make it "way funnier"... | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1568 | The man behind me is just carrying me -- I am the one pulling the strings. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1569 | Speaking for myself, I think Putin's lips move every time Trump say something. | 1.2842 | 0.06465 | 95 | 77 | 9 | 9 |
1570 | It's official, the downsizing has begun. | 1.2842 | 0.05325 | 95 | 71 | 21 | 3 |
1571 | This shows I consent to what would otherwise be highly inappropriate personal contact in the workplace. | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1572 | I'm sorry, but you just don't fit in here. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1573 | I would like to file an HR complaint. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1574 | You can call it double time if you want, but the contract clearly states that you pay me AND my handler. | 1.2842 | 0.05111 | 95 | 70 | 23 | 2 |
1575 | Here's a list of his non-negotiable demands. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1576 | Yes he did it and it's not illegal. Believe you me, I'm his attorney and I'm no dummy." | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1577 | I'd like to file a sexual assault complaint. | 1.2842 | 0.06465 | 95 | 77 | 9 | 9 |
1578 | I need you to reverse a bunch of duplicate charges | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1579 | These are my demands for a raise, he's got a sore throat. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1580 | I think I speak for both of us when I say your performance is lacking. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1581 | Hey, eyes up here buddy. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1582 | It's a combination of downsizing and outsourcing. We're calling it down-sourcing. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1583 | Excuse me, but I'm not a dummy. I'm a talking head. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1584 | Sorry, but I'm just the messenger. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1585 | Somebody pulled some strings to get you this report. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1586 | You're fired! And I take full responsibility! | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1587 | You didn't hear this from me, but Big Frank thinks the tone in the latest draft of your memo is a little passive aggressive. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1588 | Since I signed a nondisclosure agreement he gets away with it. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1589 | Do what he says or he'll get into your butt too. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1590 | These leads were hard to come by. If you don’t use them wisely it’ll be my hand up your ass. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1591 | The evolution of the micromanager. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1592 | Hey. It's all here in the memo, dummy. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1593 | For your information, Accounting thought Micromanager was a hit. | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1594 | There's just no room in this company for two dummies, Braunstein. You're fired! | 1.2842 | 0.05111 | 95 | 70 | 23 | 2 |
1595 | So, which dummy should I answer to? | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1596 | Bill, could you file this dummy invoice for me? | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1597 | Show us on the doll where you signed the non-disclosure agreement. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1598 | Here's my brochure. I hope I can count on your vote in November. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1599 | Big changes are coming -- but you didn't hear it from me. | 1.2842 | 0.05325 | 95 | 71 | 21 | 3 |
1600 | Talk to the hand because your boss's face isn't listening. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1601 | Bill is too nice to tell you, but you should be ashamed to have written this. | 1.2842 | 0.06465 | 95 | 77 | 9 | 9 |
1602 | Read my lips: You're fired. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1603 | So what if I did read Management for Dummies? | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1604 | I’m going to need you to shorten this. | 1.2842 | 0.05325 | 95 | 71 | 21 | 3 |
1605 | Be a doll and put up this week's roster. No strings attached. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1606 | You can't advance further without improving your direct communication skills. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1607 | It's an outline for my new book "Insults and Bullying For Dummies" | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1608 | This job is a handful. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1609 | This memo explains the new downsizing policies. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1610 | Speak for yourself. | 1.2842 | 0.05111 | 95 | 70 | 23 | 2 |
1611 | And now Mr. Handsworth has some bad news to share from management. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1612 | Here is a list of my sexual harassment charges against this man ...his hand placement says it all | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1613 | You're being downsized. Clean out your cubicle, leave the phone books. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1614 | It's not from me, it's from the big dummy! | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1615 | You said I was a micro-manager? I'll show you a micro-manager. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1616 | If you keep doing work like this, you might be the one pulling the strings around here. | 1.2842 | 0.05532 | 95 | 72 | 19 | 4 |
1617 | Here's the proof you've been seeking however I am not at liberty to divulge my source. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1618 | He wanted to tell you himself, but he's having trouble enunciating words like 'transformative.' | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1619 | Pack up! You're out and I'm in as Puppet Relations Director. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1620 | I don’t care if his hand is up my ass. I’m still your boss! | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1621 | Say hello to my little friend who fires people. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1622 | I am not keen on the term "downsizing" - so, you're fired. | 1.2842 | 0.05923 | 95 | 74 | 15 | 6 |
1623 | I get time and a half | 1.2842 | 0.05111 | 95 | 70 | 23 | 2 |
1624 | I keep filing complaints, but HR won’t do anything about this guy with his hand up my butt. | 1.2842 | 0.06109 | 95 | 75 | 13 | 7 |
1625 | It's about your hands, Ted. They're too small. | 1.2842 | 0.05731 | 95 | 73 | 17 | 5 |
1626 | This should silence my critics! I've listed ten reasons why I can NOT be manipulated! | 1.2842 | 0.06290 | 95 | 76 | 11 | 8 |
1627 | I see youve been playing with the copy machine again Jerry | 1.2842 | 0.04887 | 95 | 69 | 25 | 1 |
1628 | Here's my list of complaints. The first: I want his hands off my butt! | 1.2842 | 0.05325 | 95 | 71 | 21 | 3 |
1629 | His therapist says he's conflict-averse. Anyway, you're fired. | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
1630 | I know it’s a redundancy where you come from, but here we call it a downsizing. | 1.2812 | 0.05868 | 96 | 75 | 15 | 6 |
1631 | I'm Senator Charlie McCarthy. You're on my list of Communist sympathizers! | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
1632 | Wilson, don't you realize that "Ventriloquist Dummy" is an offensive slur? | 1.2812 | 0.05868 | 96 | 75 | 15 | 6 |
1633 | I see you're looking for a couple of handy men. | 1.2812 | 0.06231 | 96 | 77 | 11 | 8 |
1634 | I was told that I could pick up my back order of 'Ventriloquism For Dummies' here | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
1635 | My complaints go without saying. | 1.2812 | 0.05278 | 96 | 72 | 21 | 3 |
1636 | Who’s the puppet now, huh? | 1.2812 | 0.05868 | 96 | 75 | 15 | 6 |
1637 | In your editorial, you have called the President "a DUMMY??!" You do realize you have put me in a rather awkward position?? | 1.2812 | 0.05678 | 96 | 74 | 17 | 5 |
1638 | Smithers, one more email complaining of having a dummy for a boss and I’ll be forced to have Jenkins here drink a glass of water while I reprimand you. | 1.2812 | 0.06052 | 96 | 76 | 13 | 7 |
1639 | I’m sorry, you’ll have to talk to the big guy about this | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
1640 | Big picture, downsizing the office will be a good thing for everybody. | 1.2812 | 0.05482 | 96 | 73 | 19 | 4 |
1641 | Stevens here wants you to take this to the big man upstairs. | 1.2812 | 0.05868 | 96 | 75 | 15 | 6 |
1642 | This is the last time I'm putting words in your mouth. Next time, write your own stuff, dummy! | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
1643 | He's part of our new downsizing program. | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
1644 | Your performance, like his hand, have been a real pain in my ass! | 1.2796 | 0.06371 | 93 | 75 | 10 | 8 |
1645 | We're from HR. Is this your comment that management doesn't deal directly with their employees? | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1646 | That's not what I meant by downsizing | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1647 | Does the new health plan cover Multiple Personality Disorder? | 1.2796 | 0.05376 | 93 | 70 | 20 | 3 |
1648 | Howdy Doody, Mr. Bill. | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
1649 | Can you make a copy for him? | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1650 | People kept saying I'm lying when my lips are moving, so... | 1.2796 | 0.05993 | 93 | 73 | 14 | 6 |
1651 | Here’s a little reminder not to refer to your supervisor as a “micro-manager.” | 1.2796 | 0.05590 | 93 | 71 | 18 | 4 |
1652 | Today's fake news, sir | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
1653 | He wants me to tell you you're fired. | 1.2796 | 0.04922 | 93 | 68 | 24 | 1 |
1654 | Here's more fake news you never got from Bob. | 1.2796 | 0.05795 | 93 | 72 | 16 | 5 |
1655 | Cmon, Jim. Even dummies get it. | 1.2796 | 0.05376 | 93 | 70 | 20 | 3 |
1656 | I’m going to need that report by Wednesday Kevin, corporate is really up my ass on this one. | 1.2784 | 0.05815 | 97 | 76 | 15 | 6 |
1657 | I will give you this deed to my house if you get this guy's hand out of my ass! | 1.2778 | 0.05918 | 90 | 70 | 15 | 5 |
1658 | Write this as if you're talking to dummies. | 1.2766 | 0.06126 | 94 | 75 | 12 | 7 |
1659 | Go ahead, shoot the messenger. | 1.2766 | 0.05741 | 94 | 73 | 16 | 5 |
1660 | Short on staff again? | 1.2766 | 0.05936 | 94 | 74 | 14 | 6 |
1661 | Sorry, never heard of Pinocchio. | 1.2766 | 0.05936 | 94 | 74 | 14 | 6 |
1662 | Admit this is your memo to corporate calling me a dummy . | 1.2747 | 0.06264 | 91 | 73 | 11 | 7 |
1663 | He says you're a real jerk. Hey, don't shoot the messenger! | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1664 | I just received this order for a new book titled "Ventriloquism For Dummies" | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1665 | Have you signed my -- Eric's birthday card yet | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1666 | From now on your puppet reports to me. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1667 | This is a list of questions I am willing to answer at tonight's Town Hall meeting. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1668 | Who’s the dummy now Jared? | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1669 | Welcome to the new downsizing program. Please sign here. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1670 | Are you the dummy that put this on my desk? | 1.2747 | 0.06264 | 91 | 73 | 11 | 7 |
1671 | Under 'occupation' I put down "Dummy". Is that OK with you, knucklehead? | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1672 | Your recent comment about "dummies" was not well received -- clean out your desk. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1673 | You must think I'm a dummy. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1674 | Now we give you a choice on how to be down-sized. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1675 | I'd like to file a sexual harassment complaint. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1676 | Unlike your boss, I don't have conflict avoidance issues, so he told me to give you this pink slip and tell you your fired! | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1677 | For 5 bucks you too can have a hand up my ass! | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1678 | The last person Dave expected to see that morning was "Mr Downsize" the HR dummy. | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1679 | I'm eminently qualified and I'll bring my talented assistant at no extra cost. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1680 | Please sign my petition to get this guy's hand out of my butt. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1681 | Read my lips--you're pink-slipped! | 1.2747 | 0.06456 | 91 | 74 | 9 | 8 |
1682 | HR sent us. Me and the big guy are interested in the 'job sharing' option. | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1683 | Sorry Dave, but the dummy behind me wanted me to give you this pink slip. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1684 | That's right, Farnsworth, from now on, you report directly to me! | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1685 | You can just call me Sinclair. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1686 | Polish this memo up. It reads like it was written by a dummy. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1687 | It's my emotional-support me. | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1688 | This is my service dummy registration | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1689 | We'd like to disclose an office romance. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1690 | Are you the dummy who denied my time-off request? | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1691 | There was this tree in Brooklyn. It is from its trunk, that I am born. This sheet of paper, from the leaves. I am your replacement. Call it the cycle of life. | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1692 | I'm no dummy; I know you wrote this note. | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1693 | ... but the HR department still won't take my complaint about inappropriate touching seriously. | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1694 | Asking for a friend. | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1695 | You don't have to be a dummy to understand this report. | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1696 | This isn't what I meant when I told you we had to downsize.. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1697 | Right here in 'Computers for Dummies,' first page, stupid! | 1.2747 | 0.05861 | 91 | 71 | 15 | 5 |
1698 | I created that dummy invoice you asked for | 1.2747 | 0.06066 | 91 | 72 | 13 | 6 |
1699 | He told me to tell you you're fired. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1700 | Yes, I’m filing a harassment claim. This man won’t take his hands off me! | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1701 | Thank you for meeting me. It's always been a dream of mine to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. | 1.2747 | 0.05649 | 91 | 70 | 17 | 4 |
1702 | Who are you calling a stiff? | 1.2747 | 0.05198 | 91 | 68 | 21 | 2 |
1703 | You should have seen this coming, Ricky, after missing half of Nick's puppet shows. | 1.2747 | 0.05428 | 91 | 69 | 19 | 3 |
1704 | Looks like me -talks like me-must be me --here's the affidavit | 1.2737 | 0.05487 | 95 | 73 | 18 | 4 |
1705 | Don’t think of them as demands, more like suggestions. Like #1 here - “Hand should be placed elsewhere.” | 1.2737 | 0.05881 | 95 | 75 | 14 | 6 |
1706 | You're being terminated, and he's not comfortable telling you himself. | 1.2737 | 0.06068 | 95 | 76 | 12 | 7 |
1707 | If you think this is impressive, you should see me fire people while he drinks water! | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1708 | Please display this memo on new office policy adding the prohibition of discrimination against employees based on their aboreal origination. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1709 | This is a cease and desist letter demanding that you stop infringing my copyright in "Computers for Dummies." | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1710 | Don't blame me, I'm just the little dummy delivering the message. | 1.2717 | 0.04913 | 92 | 68 | 23 | 1 |
1711 | I don't have a hand up my ass, you do! | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1712 | Look who's talking, tiny hands. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1713 | The company's non-discrimination policy clearly states that you can not discriminate based on the color of my wood stain. | 1.2717 | 0.06202 | 92 | 74 | 11 | 7 |
1714 | He deserves a promotion! Here are the reasons why listed by me. | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1715 | You say you're his mouthpiece? | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1716 | Where's your self-esteem, following orders from a dummy like me. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1717 | It's a request for hand warmers. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1718 | I understand you need at least two requests to post a notice. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1719 | This is what I wrote. Don't try to put words in my mouth. | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1720 | I've forgotten more about dummy corporations in my wooden noggin than you'll ever know, tough guy. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1721 | Management is requesting a more hands-in approach to communications. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1722 | Eugene, I need you to send this memo about our break room fridge policy to.....damn it, Doug, you really have cold hands. Just put me down. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1723 | Hey! I'm no dummy...I brought my lawyer with me to make the necessary changes to our NDA. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1724 | Who’s the dummy now? | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1725 | Paul we are letting you go, we are downsizing | 1.2717 | 0.06202 | 92 | 74 | 11 | 7 |
1726 | Here’s your pink slip. Who’s the dummy now? | 1.2717 | 0.06202 | 92 | 74 | 11 | 7 |
1727 | The big dummy behind me says to process this mutha****r! | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1728 | Again, since you obviously didn't get the memo, we're DOWNSIZING. | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1729 | Corporate wants you to try your hand. | 1.2717 | 0.05804 | 92 | 72 | 15 | 5 |
1730 | Talk to the hand | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1731 | Here are all the places he touched me without asking. | 1.2717 | 0.06007 | 92 | 73 | 13 | 6 |
1732 | Mike, we need to talk about your performance. | 1.2717 | 0.05595 | 92 | 71 | 17 | 4 |
1733 | He can sleep at night because I'm handing out the pink slips. | 1.2717 | 0.05377 | 92 | 70 | 19 | 3 |
1734 | I wish there was another to tell you this. | 1.2708 | 0.05635 | 96 | 75 | 16 | 5 |
1735 | So nice to see the bank supporting small business owners | 1.2706 | 0.05891 | 85 | 66 | 15 | 4 |
1736 | Your eye is jutting out. | 1.2697 | 0.06543 | 89 | 73 | 8 | 8 |
1737 | Nope, not now nor have I ever been. Also, I think you mean CHARLIE McCarthy. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1738 | Nepotism. | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1739 | I can make you my new assistant manager by tomorrow, no strings attached. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1740 | It says it's time to stop letting the little head think for the big head. | 1.2697 | 0.06345 | 89 | 72 | 10 | 7 |
1741 | I'm getting very tired of always having to micromanage you. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1742 | When are you going to learn to speak for yourself? | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1743 | This is a copy of my formal complaint to Human Resources. Ask me again if I enjoy where his hand goes. I dare you. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1744 | Yes, it’s me. We’re down-sizing. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1745 | It says thank you for your service....he's sorry for being a coward.....and you are fired! | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1746 | Memo reminding everyone: don't let someone else speak for you. | 1.2697 | 0.04993 | 89 | 66 | 22 | 1 |
1747 | Office work for dummies. | 1.2697 | 0.06543 | 89 | 73 | 8 | 8 |
1748 | Thompson ... does this dummy make me look smarter? | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1749 | We're downsizing, but still firing you in a personal way. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1750 | No offense taken, but you probably shouldn’t use the D-word if you're not Puppet-American. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1751 | Sure, it’s well written, but could you write it while drinking water? | 1.2697 | 0.05243 | 89 | 67 | 20 | 2 |
1752 | You think I'm a dummy? Wait'll you get my bill. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1753 | I wanted to talk to you about my latest performance review... | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1754 | Don't give me credit, he did all the work. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1755 | Sorry Jenkins, but the firm is downsizing. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1756 | ...of course it's about downsizing dummy! | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1757 | I wanted you to meet my "yes" man. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1758 | Our investors insist we scale down. You’re next. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1759 | Your proposal to use a dummy corporation to hide our profits has been approved. | 1.2697 | 0.06345 | 89 | 72 | 10 | 7 |
1760 | Urgent memo about transparency in the workplace. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1761 | I know you typed this with your tiny little hands. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1762 | Try it...I'm calling it 'Networking For Dummies'. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1763 | This note is insulting. It makes me look like real dummy! | 1.2697 | 0.06345 | 89 | 72 | 10 | 7 |
1764 | I could have pulled a better report out of my ass! To prove it, I have Johnson here fishing for one right now. | 1.2697 | 0.06735 | 89 | 74 | 6 | 9 |
1765 | You must have had your hand up your ass when you wrote this memo. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1766 | Here's last night's program, and we killed, so who's the dummy now Ralph! | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1767 | Plausible Deniability | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1768 | Look this over and you'll see that I'm no dummy. | 1.2697 | 0.04993 | 89 | 66 | 22 | 1 |
1769 | This memo states that “Dummy” is no longer an acceptable term in our company’s lexicon. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1770 | Pay no attention to the man holding me. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1771 | You're fired; but don't blame me, I'm just the messenger. | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1772 | I want to file a sexual harassment complaint. | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1773 | Perhaps my partner can point out where our contract forbids me to work solo. | 1.2697 | 0.05243 | 89 | 67 | 20 | 2 |
1774 | I would like to file a sexual harassment complaint, please. | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1775 | How Westworld began. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1776 | As your independent arbitrator, please both note that this decision is binding. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1777 | Mr. Giuliani has authorized me to read the following clarification of his remarks. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1778 | This is a sexual harassment claim, based on routine, inappropriate touching. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1779 | The boss wanted me to hand-deliver this memo about not making fun of other people's hobbies. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1780 | You know what you can do with this memo about cutting the dead wood around here? | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1781 | Read my lips: no new faxes. | 1.2697 | 0.05243 | 89 | 67 | 20 | 2 |
1782 | Shut up and sign, dummy! | 1.2697 | 0.06140 | 89 | 71 | 12 | 6 |
1783 | There's no room for error— I've got the big boss looking over my shoulder on this one. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1784 | 'On the other hand ...." | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1785 | Sorry. But they’re downsizing everyone. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1786 | I have a memo from Human Resources. You have to stop throwing your voice at me. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1787 | We need to talk about your passive voice. | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1788 | It's from my book "Getting Fired For Dummies. | 1.2697 | 0.05243 | 89 | 67 | 20 | 2 |
1789 | Fake ventriloquism! | 1.2697 | 0.06345 | 89 | 72 | 10 | 7 |
1790 | Frank hated nothing worse than taking direction from the dummies in middle management. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1791 | Your pink slip. And don’t blame me. I’m just the messenger. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1792 | Sorry, I'm not the one pulling the strings around here | 1.2697 | 0.05481 | 89 | 68 | 18 | 3 |
1793 | You call these talking points? How am I supposed to say this to the White House press corps? | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1794 | He's no longer tweeting. We're firing people this way now. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1795 | In case of legal liability just remember who made this request. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1796 | Congratulations, here's your mini-raise. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1797 | I mean, I could have easily pretended not to notice your disproportionately tiny hand, and yet here we are. | 1.2697 | 0.06345 | 89 | 72 | 10 | 7 |
1798 | You are hereby enjoined from any further reportage claiming the president is subject to manipulation or control by a foreign government. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1799 | Charley McCarthy just bought the company. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1800 | 'What makes you think this isn't my very own original piece of work?" | 1.2688 | 0.05542 | 93 | 72 | 17 | 4 |
1801 | Could you read this for me, Bob? I left my glasses on my other dummy. | 1.2688 | 0.06142 | 93 | 75 | 11 | 7 |
1802 | I'm sorry to have to let you go, but our vendors all report that they can see your lips moving. | 1.2688 | 0.05749 | 93 | 73 | 15 | 5 |
1803 | You're fired, but don't blame Jeff, who still wants to grab dinner with you later. | 1.2674 | 0.05078 | 86 | 64 | 21 | 1 |
1804 | My bill for rebuilding my jaw. | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
1805 | I, the Human Resources Puppet, definitely not your best friend Jerry, am telling you that you’re fired! | 1.2667 | 0.05870 | 90 | 71 | 14 | 5 |
1806 | He can't read without moving his lips. | 1.2667 | 0.04947 | 90 | 67 | 22 | 1 |
1807 | Could you enlarge this? | 1.2651 | 0.05959 | 83 | 65 | 14 | 4 |
1808 | How about we discuss the “real dummy “ who signed this contract! | 1.2651 | 0.05707 | 83 | 64 | 16 | 3 |
1809 | Actually, we're here to discuss YOUR embarrassing performance. | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1810 | If his mouth doesn't move, you can't prove anything. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1811 | As you can see, our staff is shrinking. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1812 | Doctor's note. From the proctologist. Obviously. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1813 | Turns out the book was actually called Dummies for Business. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1814 | He expects payment in small bills. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1815 | Don’t you always feel like there’s someone up your butt in this place? | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
1816 | He thinks delivering a pink slip this way will add humor to your job loss. Have a nice day. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1817 | So 'moral' is down? I suppose you meant morale, with an 'e'? What a dummy. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1818 | A new Policy of PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY ! | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1819 | At first we didn't think we'd able to get it done, but Johnny over here pulled some strings. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1820 | Who signed off on this? That's not my signature! | 1.2644 | 0.05029 | 87 | 65 | 21 | 1 |
1821 | Jim, can you read this and tell me if it sounds dumb? | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
1822 | Here's our company's new micro-aggression policy. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1823 | You need to liven this up a little, lamb chop. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1824 | Can you dummy this down? | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1825 | Great news, you've been promoted to a more hands on project! | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1826 | He kinda does his own thing. | 1.2644 | 0.04755 | 87 | 64 | 23 | 0 |
1827 | Here are the operating instructions for dummies for dummies. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1828 | I am big. It's the raises that got small. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1829 | You're fired. This wimp is too timid to do it himself. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1830 | You said no dogs in-office, he's my Service Puppet. | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1831 | You left this on the copier. Not cool, my man. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1832 | OK. Here's the restraining order! Now get this guy off my back!!! | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1833 | Please tell me you're not the dummy who wrote this memo! | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1834 | There's an "H" in Munchkin.... | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1835 | I'm told my whimsical presentation style softens the blow of being fired... | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1836 | Here's the new company policy on micro- agression. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1837 | Don't call me a puppet. I'm the one who pulls the strings. | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1838 | I’m submitting my official statement to HR. It’s about time the manager gets off my ass. | 1.2644 | 0.06217 | 87 | 70 | 11 | 6 |
1839 | I don't care if you think it is McCarthyism! I need to know who wrote this memo calling me a dummy! | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1840 | You must think I'm some kind of dummy to accept this ridiculous report! | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1841 | When I say there's a dummy talking, I mean there is a dummy talking. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1842 | He was a good boss, but he liked to micromanage. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1843 | Talk to the hand | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1844 | Taxes, schmaxes you can’t keep us from filing a joint return. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1845 | You may think I'm a dummy, but I'm not signing this contract. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1846 | Even a dummy could see that he'd plugged his mouse into the keyboard. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1847 | He just couldn't bring himself to say he's resigning. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1848 | Hey, funny boy, congratulations on winning the firm's talent contest. You're fired. | 1.2644 | 0.06428 | 87 | 71 | 9 | 7 |
1849 | Do you accept Medicare? I seem to have a man stuck to my ass. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1850 | Looks like you didn’t get the Memo. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1851 | I’ve been told this pink slip is for you. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1852 | I'm no dummy Henderson, your travel voucher has several questionable charges on it. | 1.2644 | 0.05998 | 87 | 69 | 13 | 5 |
1853 | I'm taking this to HR! It's 2018, Jenkins. 'Dummy' is a slur against the entire ventriloquist puppet community. | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1854 | For the last time, I'm the Assistant TO the Assistant Vice President. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1855 | You're fired, Peterson. Who's the dummy now? | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1856 | What do you think I am? A dummy? | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1857 | You just got a pink slip from a dummy, dummy! | 1.2644 | 0.05288 | 87 | 66 | 19 | 2 |
1858 | Now whose the dummy?!? | 1.2644 | 0.05771 | 87 | 68 | 15 | 4 |
1859 | Charlie McCarthy says to do it over. | 1.2644 | 0.05535 | 87 | 67 | 17 | 3 |
1860 | His therapist suggested that I help hand out the pink slips this quarter... | 1.2637 | 0.06019 | 91 | 73 | 12 | 6 |
1861 | It's the state of the art in attorney/client privilege. | 1.2637 | 0.05376 | 91 | 70 | 18 | 3 |
1862 | No, this is what I meant by micromanaging. | 1.2632 | 0.05641 | 95 | 75 | 15 | 5 |
1863 | Sadly, this call is out of my hands | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1864 | The guy behind me is my comfort animal. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1865 | Hi Jim--could you please be a doll and proof this? | 1.2619 | 0.06364 | 84 | 68 | 10 | 6 |
1866 | Talk to the hand ‘cause the face ain’t listening | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
1867 | Here's the new procedure, I've dummied it down for you. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1868 | Richard didn't have the heart to tell you, but I have no heart | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1869 | He'll respond once he feels you've been sufficiently belittled. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1870 | I need you to rewrite my speech on relocating the puppetry assembly division to Mexico--but this time try not use the letters B, F, M, P, and V. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1871 | Going forward, ccing me is fine. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1872 | How’s my day going? This man has his hand up my butt, he keeps whispering in my ear and on top of all that he’s given me his grocery list. That girl with lips like sandpaper looks good about now. So don’t ask me again about how my day is going. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1873 | “You’re FIRED!”, said the dummy with the small hands.... | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1874 | You're right, it's not actually pink. And I'm not actually your boss. But you're still fired. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1875 | The puppet wants me to tell you that you're fired, and to please not get mad at me, because I'm just holding the puppet. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1876 | Don’t talk to the hand, talk to the data. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1877 | Would it be more convincing if the big guy drank a glass of water while I read from this piece of paper?” | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1878 | #TreeToo. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1879 | We're a little short staffed this week. | 1.2619 | 0.05115 | 84 | 63 | 20 | 1 |
1880 | Also, Ted regrets that he couldn't be here to deliver your pink slip in person. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
1881 | Unfortunately for you, we're downsizing. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
1882 | We quit! | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1883 | Welcome to Sinclair Broadcasting. Here are today's facts. | 1.2619 | 0.06364 | 84 | 68 | 10 | 6 |
1884 | Help, I'm being held against his will! | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1885 | My client's first demand is no more dummy jokes. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
1886 | Try again. This doesn't sound like you. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1887 | Just trying some new things out for our dummy corporation. Don't be alarmed. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1888 | Don't shoot the messenger, but you're fired. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1889 | Oy vey! Again with the short notice. | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1890 | Here’s my resume for the dummy editor position you posted. | 1.2619 | 0.06135 | 84 | 67 | 12 | 5 |
1891 | Here's my Birth Certificate. Now, put me on the company's health insurance and vision policy. | 1.2619 | 0.05648 | 84 | 65 | 16 | 3 |
1892 | Who's the dummy now, smart guy? Third phone order this week. | 1.2619 | 0.05388 | 84 | 64 | 18 | 2 |
1893 | To ease confrontation we call it a “you’re fired dummy.” | 1.2619 | 0.05896 | 84 | 66 | 14 | 4 |
1894 | Are you the dummy that wrote the wooden language in this report? | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
1895 | I replaced the guy behind me. Wait until you see what replaces you. | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
1896 | It takes one to know one. | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
1897 | I'm sorry, but we have to start downsizing at all levels. | 1.2614 | 0.05236 | 88 | 67 | 19 | 2 |
1898 | It lacks a human element. | 1.2614 | 0.05480 | 88 | 68 | 17 | 3 |
1899 | We’ve got a small problem. | 1.2614 | 0.04980 | 88 | 66 | 21 | 1 |
1900 | Read my lips. We are not a dummy corporation. | 1.2614 | 0.04980 | 88 | 66 | 21 | 1 |
1901 | The boss is really up my butt about finishing this. | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
1902 | Which one of you is claiming a dependent? | 1.2614 | 0.05236 | 88 | 67 | 19 | 2 |
1903 | For a change...we both agree! | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
1904 | I'd like to discuss this complaint about micromanaging. | 1.2614 | 0.05937 | 88 | 70 | 13 | 5 |
1905 | It's just me resigning. You're stuck with the dummy. | 1.2614 | 0.05713 | 88 | 69 | 15 | 4 |
1906 | Another tip from “unnamed sources” | 1.2614 | 0.06362 | 88 | 72 | 9 | 7 |
1907 | No puppet. No puppet. You’re the puppet. | 1.2593 | 0.05493 | 81 | 62 | 17 | 2 |
1908 | Down- sized workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your strings! | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1909 | I found someone to cover for me while I'm on vacation. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1910 | I'd like to file an HR complain. This man has his hand in my ass. | 1.2588 | 0.06296 | 85 | 69 | 10 | 6 |
1911 | We're playing Good Boss / Bad Dummy. You're fired. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1912 | Upper management is asking us to downsize. | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1913 | You're invited to his 50th, but don't say anything, it's a surprise. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1914 | I thought you said there was no strings attached in this contract. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1915 | You'll need to sign this...it's just the usual non-disclosure agreement for a 'dummy corporation'. | 1.2588 | 0.06296 | 85 | 69 | 10 | 6 |
1916 | Put this up on the board or the dummy gets it. | 1.2588 | 0.06296 | 85 | 69 | 10 | 6 |
1917 | Cubicle life is not for me. Showbiz, here I come!! | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1918 | Don't call the police; just follow this list of demands by my proctologist. | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1919 | This memo is clear, so please don't put words in my mouth. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1920 | They are downsizing the employees. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1921 | You're fired, Steve. The company's downsizing | 1.2588 | 0.06515 | 85 | 70 | 8 | 7 |
1922 | To save you time, Mr. Trump strongly suggests you sign this one, Dr. Bornstein. | 1.2588 | 0.06515 | 85 | 70 | 8 | 7 |
1923 | He distracts clients from the fine print. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1924 | Don't need your resume-we have enough dummies here! | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1925 | You'll be sorry you ever called me a dummy! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1926 | Dr. Evil here doesn't have the guts to fire you and neither do I so we're just going to give you this... | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
1927 | If you think about it, this is clearly more like a 'fusion' than a 'collusion.' | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1928 | Just to be clear...the irony of your poor spelling is not lost on me...as either outcome whether 'termiting' or 'terminating' bodes poorly for me! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1929 | I heard you guys hire any dummy that applies. | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1930 | It's called "Management for Dummies," and based on your tiny hands, it pertains to you, too. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1931 | I would have gotten this list to you sooner but this guy’s been on my back all day. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1932 | We’re downsizing. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1933 | Sorry Steve, this is coming from the top-down. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1934 | Don't blame the messenger. | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
1935 | I read your memo and you’re wrong. I’m not a martinet and I categorically deny that I’m anyone’s puppet. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1936 | Ignore him. He’s not firing you; I’M firing you. | 1.2588 | 0.06296 | 85 | 69 | 10 | 6 |
1937 | Read my lips. I fired the last guy who thought I was a dummy | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1938 | Look, I'm just the messenger. If you've got a problem with this task, you'll have to take it up with the guy whose hand is up my butt. | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1939 | Just because I'm small, don't think I'm not petty too! | 1.2588 | 0.05835 | 85 | 67 | 14 | 4 |
1940 | Your boss just wants a little plausible deniability. | 1.2588 | 0.05589 | 85 | 66 | 16 | 3 |
1941 | Trump told my boss to tell me to tell you ---YOU'RE FIRED | 1.2588 | 0.06070 | 85 | 68 | 12 | 5 |
1942 | The company president wants you to set up a dummy corporation. | 1.2584 | 0.05656 | 89 | 70 | 15 | 4 |
1943 | Hey, Bill. I brought new jokes about your promotion request. | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
1944 | You should ask yourself, who is the dummy that didn’t get the memo? | 1.2584 | 0.05426 | 89 | 69 | 17 | 3 |
1945 | We're promoting you to straight man. | 1.2561 | 0.05151 | 82 | 62 | 19 | 1 |
1946 | If you think this is impressive, should see him fire people while drinking water! | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1947 | If we had an anonymous suggestion box this wouldn't be necessary. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1948 | I just got promoted. Who's the dummy now? | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1949 | Yes! I am complaining! This dude's hands are NOT a chair! | 1.2561 | 0.06678 | 82 | 68 | 7 | 7 |
1950 | I'm filing a written sexual harassment complaint against Bob here. He's had his hand inside me all day, and he won't let me speak for myself. | 1.2561 | 0.06449 | 82 | 67 | 9 | 6 |
1951 | Speak to my hand. | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1952 | There's no easy way to say this, you're fired. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1953 | Perkins? He helps me micro-manage | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1954 | We closed the deal. It helped that I was able to pull some strings. | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1955 | Did you get a pink slip too? I got one, but the guy behind me, didn't. How unfair is that? | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1956 | I'm really sorry, if it were up to me I'd never fire you, but I'm afraid he insists. | 1.2561 | 0.06449 | 82 | 67 | 9 | 6 |
1957 | Talk to the subpoena! | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1958 | We had to downsize middle management. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1959 | I'm the new down-sized HR Department. This is your pink slip. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1960 | You're fired. And, by the way, you can go ahead and shoot the messenger. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1961 | I really need a stand-up desk. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1962 | I see your forecast for personnel came up short. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1963 | If you want to write another memo for me, learn to use my voice. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1964 | You've been promoted Stan, it was your tiny hands that sealed it. | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1965 | This proposal is the work of a mindless, manipulated dummy, and I should know. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1966 | Who are you calling a mouthpiece?! | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1967 | He's asking you for a raise. | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1968 | This citation is for creating a hostile work environment based your use of the word "Dummy." | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1969 | Sign here or the puppeteer dies. | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1970 | I've had to become very creative to get around the hiring freeze. | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1971 | I'm here in case you have to kill the messenger. | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1972 | Here's the dummy invoice I promised you. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1973 | Marvin is too shy to read this to you." "It says." "You're fired, go, get out, now. | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1974 | Here's your two weeks notice. Now who's the dummy? | 1.2561 | 0.06900 | 82 | 69 | 5 | 8 |
1975 | I need you to edit the latest edition of Bosses for Dummies. | 1.2561 | 0.06678 | 82 | 68 | 7 | 7 |
1976 | Why did you send this to me? You think I 'm some kind of dummy! | 1.2561 | 0.05964 | 82 | 65 | 13 | 4 |
1977 | You are too big, go | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1978 | Your wife said to let you down softly, but you've been served | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1979 | Who's the dummy now, Morganson? | 1.2561 | 0.05435 | 82 | 63 | 17 | 2 |
1980 | Rewrite this speech. It's WAY too short. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1981 | Be Best | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1982 | So which dummy should I listen to? | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1983 | Quick, get this off to Charlie McCarthy. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
1984 | DNA results show that you aren't my dad....... | 1.2561 | 0.06211 | 82 | 66 | 11 | 5 |
1985 | As stated in the contract, you can't use b, f, m, p, v, w, or y. | 1.2558 | 0.06006 | 86 | 69 | 12 | 5 |
1986 | They told me before I started that the boss was a dummy, but I didn't think they meant that literally. | 1.2558 | 0.06230 | 86 | 70 | 10 | 6 |
1987 | Are you serious? And I’m suppose to be the dummy. | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
1988 | Here you go Schmedlapp, "Computers for Dummies"; if it worked for the guy behind me, it'll work for you! | 1.2558 | 0.05279 | 86 | 66 | 18 | 2 |
1989 | Here.Its about reducing the staff. | 1.2558 | 0.06006 | 86 | 69 | 12 | 5 |
1990 | Have your people call my people. | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
1991 | The boss won't tell you but your report is crap. | 1.2558 | 0.05532 | 86 | 67 | 16 | 3 |
1992 | I like to think you're being rightsized. | 1.2558 | 0.05279 | 86 | 66 | 18 | 2 |
1993 | I thought ‘Business for Dummies’ was just a clever book title. | 1.2556 | 0.04886 | 90 | 68 | 21 | 1 |
1994 | I'm telling you Edgar, this promotion comes with no strings attached! | 1.2532 | 0.04923 | 79 | 59 | 20 | 0 |
1995 | Wilson refuses to directly deal with you. | 1.2532 | 0.05829 | 79 | 62 | 14 | 3 |
1996 | Unthortunately, Ith got the dad n-oos: you're thired. | 1.2532 | 0.05544 | 79 | 61 | 16 | 2 |
1997 | I will not stand for this! | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
1998 | Is this what he meant when he said my Ph.D. would come in handy? | 1.2530 | 0.06378 | 83 | 68 | 9 | 6 |
1999 | This is a Letter of Reprimand for the Charlie McCarthy jokes you told in the break room. | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
2000 | I have laryngitis. | 1.2530 | 0.05899 | 83 | 66 | 13 | 4 |
2001 | We've noticed that you haven't become an organ donor. | 1.2530 | 0.06143 | 83 | 67 | 11 | 5 |
2002 | He may be a bully, but at least he has the guts to speak for himself. | 1.2530 | 0.05645 | 83 | 65 | 15 | 3 |
2003 | I'd like to lodge a complaint. This man is mishandling me. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2004 | Could be worse - Trump fires folks on Twitter. | 1.2500 | 0.05585 | 84 | 66 | 15 | 3 |
2005 | Here's my lunch order. Sawdust, woodstain, and I want an apple. No strings attached! | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2006 | His requirements for you to return to speaking terms | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2007 | I’m from HR, and I am here to help you! | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2008 | This is your termination notice. So, who’s the dummy now?! | 1.2500 | 0.05883 | 88 | 71 | 12 | 5 |
2009 | I have some questions about my performance review. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2010 | Harold's latest attempt at avoiding direct confrontation in the workplace was deemed moderately successful. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2011 | Get this done before you leave tonight, and stop calling me 'Big Guy.' | 1.2500 | 0.05421 | 88 | 69 | 16 | 3 |
2012 | The final vote is in, 2-1 in favor of my raise. | 1.2500 | 0.05322 | 84 | 65 | 17 | 2 |
2013 | You left your anonymous survey by the printer. Good thing your boss didn't see it! | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2014 | You're darned right I second the motion. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2015 | Do you want to see me give you this assignment while Haskins drinks a glass of water? | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2016 | That's not what I meant by "we're downsizing your role". | 1.2500 | 0.05186 | 80 | 61 | 18 | 1 |
2017 | Notify all employees to stop calling my messages ‘mini-me’s mini-memo’s. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2018 | Yes, I am the future of middle management in this company. | 1.2500 | 0.05186 | 80 | 61 | 18 | 1 |
2019 | Just read the note, follow the instructions and nobody gets hurt. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2020 | New guidance on maintaining plausible deniability. If you get stuck see me, not him. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2021 | This new “Save the trees, No more Dummies”law is a really bad idea. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2022 | have you tried dropping him? | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2023 | It documents a history of inappropriate touching. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2024 | Fred is uncertain how to feel about a new form of passive-aggressive notes. | 1.2500 | 0.05585 | 84 | 66 | 15 | 3 |
2025 | Damnit Greg my boss is really up my ass on these papers! | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2026 | You don't have to tell me what artificial intelligence is all about. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2027 | Don't listen to him | 1.2500 | 0.06309 | 84 | 69 | 9 | 6 |
2028 | James really didn't want to tell you this, but, you're fired | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2029 | Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipsicing elite. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2030 | I was told I'd qualify for time and a half pay. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2031 | Everyone hands in reports on standard size paper, except you. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2032 | How could you put Mortimer Snerd on the all time top ten dummy list and exclude me? | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2033 | Yes, it's your walking paper. This new guy is a much better ventriloquist PLUS he knows how to fix French Toast. | 1.2500 | 0.06536 | 80 | 66 | 8 | 6 |
2034 | Show me on the doll where your boss delegated to you. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2035 | What were you expecting from a small business consultant? | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2036 | Help me Stephen, I've turned into a dummy and I need you to finish all of my paperwork by Wednesday. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2037 | You're in trouble with the big guy. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2038 | H.R. didn't have the heart to do it, so they sent me... You're fired. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2039 | You should have read the small print before you signed! | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2040 | I am not exactly pleased with this review of my people skills | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2041 | And you call ME a dummy? | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2042 | Say hello to my big friend. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2043 | Sorry but we’ve all been downsized | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2044 | Yeah, I may be a dummy but I've still got a voice in all of this! | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2045 | Here's demands, first, get this guy off my back. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2046 | What do I look like? Some kind of dummy? | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2047 | We're here about the job, 'Asst. to Rudy Giuliani", previous government work a plus, must be able to keep mouth shut! | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2048 | I am his registered support dummy, you have to make an accommodation. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2049 | Here’s your pink slip. Who’s the dummy now? | 1.2500 | 0.06536 | 80 | 66 | 8 | 6 |
2050 | Here's the proposal for my next book -- "Ventriloquism for Dummies." | 1.2500 | 0.06536 | 80 | 66 | 8 | 6 |
2051 | He is not the boss of me. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2052 | Read this joke and laugh, he's got laryngitis. | 1.2500 | 0.05046 | 84 | 64 | 19 | 1 |
2053 | In case you haven’t guessed yet - you’re being downsized... | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2054 | Remit to the Panama account, Howard...and remember, this conversation never happened. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2055 | These ideas you’ve written are all my ideas. You really need to find your own voice around here, Larry. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2056 | He's a rescue | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2057 | I may be a parasitic twin but I ain't no dummy! | 1.2500 | 0.06536 | 80 | 66 | 8 | 6 |
2058 | He doesn't have the guts to hand out pink slips himself. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2059 | My name is Giuliani. My client, Mr.Trump, asks that you print this statement in your paper. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2060 | I'm not a dummy, I know you wrote this! | 1.2500 | 0.05186 | 80 | 61 | 18 | 1 |
2061 | Do as it says or I'll cut off his tongue. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2062 | We just received this letter of complaint from a Miss Marion Nette. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2063 | Look, don't kill the messenger. We all work for someone. | 1.2500 | 0.06289 | 80 | 65 | 10 | 5 |
2064 | Re-write it in your own voice this time. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2065 | So? You have small hands. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2066 | Here's your report. Now get this guy off my back. | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2067 | #metwo | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2068 | Why!? Because the mime wasn't humiliating enough. That's why! | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2069 | What do I look like, a Dummy?!!! | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2070 | Your report is trash, and the boss is behind me on this. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2071 | Don didn't have the guts to tell you, so I will. You're fired. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2072 | Yeah, we can't actually find a record of you being a current employee here. | 1.2500 | 0.06532 | 84 | 70 | 7 | 7 |
2073 | I really prefer to use my OWN voice, OK? | 1.2500 | 0.05483 | 80 | 62 | 16 | 2 |
2074 | Of course this is the only copy, dummy questions like that belittle our standing. | 1.2500 | 0.05764 | 80 | 63 | 14 | 3 |
2075 | This is not, I repeat NOT, fake news! | 1.2471 | 0.05775 | 85 | 68 | 13 | 4 |
2076 | You think I'm micromanaging you? Try working with a hand up your ass all day. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2077 | Trump says read this on Fox news. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2078 | Tom here, doesn't have the balls to fire you so I'm afraid its left to me to give you your pink slip. | 1.2469 | 0.05424 | 81 | 63 | 16 | 2 |
2079 | I found my replacement. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2080 | Meet my proxy. | 1.2469 | 0.05701 | 81 | 64 | 14 | 3 |
2081 | A subpoena? You think this is cute? | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2082 | Sorry, Jim. We're downsizing to save costs. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2083 | I think you'll find the dummy's material pretty much speaks for itself. | 1.2469 | 0.05424 | 81 | 63 | 16 | 2 |
2084 | Don't make me say it more than twice! | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2085 | Here’s $130,000 to make this guy shut up. | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2086 | Here's the list of our Russian contacts. You didn't get it from Finster. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2087 | This isn't what we meant when we said you need to be giving 110% at work | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2088 | Here's your written reprimand, Bob. You can't go around calling your coworkers dummies. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2089 | Doesn't sound any less like B.S. coming from him, Kevin. | 1.2469 | 0.06462 | 81 | 67 | 8 | 6 |
2090 | This is our final offer - no strings attached! | 1.2469 | 0.06462 | 81 | 67 | 8 | 6 |
2091 | If you want to talk to the President, you'll have to go through me. | 1.2469 | 0.05966 | 81 | 65 | 12 | 4 |
2092 | Sigh* "I told you, 'Oscar;' we're not hiring. And I can see your mouth moving, Bryan. Please, go back to your desk." | 1.2468 | 0.04945 | 77 | 58 | 19 | 0 |
2093 | For the last time Roger, I'm not paying both of you. | 1.2468 | 0.05594 | 77 | 60 | 15 | 2 |
2094 | Taking his cue from the leader of the free world, Ted now fires by proxy. | 1.2439 | 0.05900 | 82 | 66 | 12 | 4 |
2095 | Wadkins, if I approved these expenses, people here would take me for a dummy! | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2096 | The dummies in Human Resources wanted me to give you this. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2097 | Gotta believe me, he doesn't know about this contract. He doesn't even know he is holding me. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2098 | Mr. Kushner here hasn't got the heart to do it himself, so on behalf of the President it's fallen to me to deliver your termination papers Mr. (________(fill in the blank)_______). You're Fired. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2099 | "When did Terminex stop participating in our health plan"? | 1.2436 | 0.06626 | 78 | 65 | 7 | 6 |
2100 | Yes, I know we're just a dummy corporation, but this really needs to be done. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2101 | Was it you who filed this complaint about unnecessary micromanagement? | 1.2436 | 0.04892 | 78 | 59 | 19 | 0 |
2102 | The company is being downsized. | 1.2436 | 0.04892 | 78 | 59 | 19 | 0 |
2103 | Saw your email Frank. Yes, this company is run by a dummy! | 1.2436 | 0.06626 | 78 | 65 | 7 | 6 |
2104 | Managing for Dummies | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2105 | I'm the new H.R. Director. I want to give you this termination notice in person to avoid any possible confusion. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2106 | I didn’t say that, he did. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2107 | Bad news. "Big Tom" says you're fired. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2108 | Are you the one who sent me this book 'Computer Skills for Dummies'? | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2109 | It's in the self-help section: "Avoiding Confrontation for Dummies". | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2110 | Shoot the messenger. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2111 | Can you dumb it down? | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2112 | You think I'm making this up? | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2113 | HR will now be run by artificial intelligence. Also, you're fired. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2114 | You! Is this your memo? "Knock wood, Ha Ha?" You think that's funny? I'll show you funny. Splinters up your butt: that's funny. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2115 | Sorry, Bob, but you're being replaced with artificial intelligence. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2116 | Pay no attention to the hand up my back | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2117 | The great thing about Twitter is that nobody can see his lips move. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2118 | Your hand is all over this. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2119 | No, that doesn't count as a middle man. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2120 | Can you please sign this, the boss is really on my ass about this. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2121 | You say,'The boss is a dummy.' I say, 'You're fired.' | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2122 | Mr. Snodgrass hates confrontation: you're fired! | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2123 | Mr. Johnson asked me to deliver this internal memo about our new corporate growth strategy. He also suggested that everyone get a puppet for plausible deniability. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2124 | Men with little hands are bigger where it counts. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2125 | What’s that look for, huh?? Yeah, ok, I might be a little guy...and I’m sort of sitting in midair. But MY hands are the same size as YOUR hands, my friend, so just remember that... | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2126 | Bob here didn't write this and has no idea what it says. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2127 | Common misconception—the corporate arm is literal. | 1.2436 | 0.06626 | 78 | 65 | 7 | 6 |
2128 | You've been invited to the 3rd Annual Employee Ventriloquist Contest; just kidding, you're fired. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2129 | Office hack#38 . . .because no man delights in the bearer of bad news. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2130 | But the flyer says the office talent show is today?! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2131 | I consider myself more of a corporate puppeteer. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2132 | So here's my idea on downsizing. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2133 | And again... I never said any of this, it was the puppet | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2134 | Sign here... we're pulling the strings now | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2135 | Can you believe I got called in to HR for calling Bill a dummy. For heaven's sake, It's our word! | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2136 | Initial here and we can keep this between you, me, and the bedpost. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2137 | I heard you got promoted to middle management. Who's the corporate puppet now? | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2138 | I read your rough draft Smith. I would like it better if you chose a different voice | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2139 | Your copy is derivative. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2140 | It's a subpoena for your dummy corporation. | 1.2436 | 0.06626 | 78 | 65 | 7 | 6 |
2141 | I’m handing in my resignation, he doesn’t have the guts.” | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2142 | Sticky notes for dummies, you should read it. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2143 | Meanwhile at the "For Dummies" headquarters | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2144 | You're fired, Mr. Tiny Hands. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2145 | We're getting downsized. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2146 | It's not you, it's me. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2147 | I'm counting on you coming to the show on Saturday. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2148 | Welp, I got a clean bill of health from the proctologist. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2149 | We’re downsizing. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2150 | Roger’s fear of confrontation has just gotten ridiculous. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2151 | HR hopes this will cut down on workplace confrontations | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2152 | I want real news. This looks like something Rudy Giuliani would say. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2153 | Mind explaining this invoice for wood glue and lip balm, Edgar? | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2154 | I personally disagree with him, but, you know..... | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2155 | Hey, my face is down here. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2156 | I thought it best to tell you the bad news man to man. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2157 | I can't believe this dummy is my boss. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2158 | Look, you've done some good work here, but it seems like you're still trying to find your own voice. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2159 | A raise and a promotion if you get this dummy off my back! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2160 | You're fired. You can blame me, but not my big friend here. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2161 | I need this, in duplicates. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2162 | This is the small settlement we talked about. | 1.2436 | 0.05221 | 78 | 60 | 17 | 1 |
2163 | Bad news, Jared. The lawyers just told me to dummy up. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2164 | Hey, can I try my new ventr-- oh holy fuck what happened to your right hand? | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2165 | This list of grievances speaks for itself. | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2166 | I was looking through the suggestion box and found one that was interesting, Ted. “Supervisor? More like a spineless puppet.” | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2167 | Now who's the dummy, Glenn!?? | 1.2436 | 0.06103 | 78 | 63 | 11 | 4 |
2168 | Here’s my resignation— you have called me ”a real dummy” once too often! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2169 | Matter of fact , he does speak for the board of directors. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2170 | If anyone asks, you didn't hear it from me. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2171 | Read my lips, no more layoffs! | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2172 | Don't look at me like I'm the one who said it. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2173 | I'm the only one who's lips move, and that's the way it's gonna stay. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2174 | There are concerns about your latest report. I'm not good at face-to-face confrontation, so I wrote you this note. | 1.2436 | 0.05824 | 78 | 62 | 13 | 3 |
2175 | The President submits a statement to the press through a spokesman. | 1.2436 | 0.05531 | 78 | 61 | 15 | 2 |
2176 | Let's see... "Mr. Trump will be the healthiest President ever..." No, wait, here it is: "Phil was absent from work Friday due to an episode of pleurisy." Boy, this get's easier the more I do it. | 1.2436 | 0.06370 | 78 | 64 | 9 | 5 |
2177 | No, I'm not firing you; the puppet is firing you. | 1.2410 | 0.05579 | 83 | 66 | 14 | 3 |
2178 | Once again, Phillips was guilty of micromanagement. | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2179 | Why am I firing you? Because I'm his right hand man. | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2180 | It's not just a pink slip, it's funny! | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2181 | This Department Has Worked 0 Days Without a Ventriloquist Incident. The Previous Record was __ days. | 1.2405 | 0.05164 | 79 | 61 | 17 | 1 |
2182 | You have never been issued a subpoena? | 1.2405 | 0.06297 | 79 | 65 | 9 | 5 |
2183 | This says, "Micro-management will no longer be tolerated!" | 1.2405 | 0.06033 | 79 | 64 | 11 | 4 |
2184 | Please, help me! | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2185 | No, I am NOT a carry-on dummy. I have my ticket right here. | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2186 | Here's a message from the guy in the corner office you called a dummy. It says, "you're fired!" | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2187 | I have a little task for you | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2188 | I need a little word with you! | 1.2405 | 0.05758 | 79 | 63 | 13 | 3 |
2189 | Mr. Clark, you have officially been served | 1.2405 | 0.06033 | 79 | 64 | 11 | 4 |
2190 | Upper management’s edgy new supervisory implement requires you rate the effectiveness of the mustache on a scale between eins and sieben. | 1.2405 | 0.06033 | 79 | 64 | 11 | 4 |
2191 | Can you read shorthand? | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2192 | As the new Regional Manager, Mr. Jacob's approach to confrontation was unorthodox and refreshingly whimsical. | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2193 | The boss is making me tell you to take care of this. | 1.2400 | 0.05644 | 75 | 59 | 14 | 2 |
2194 | Hey Mark can you finish up this paperwork for me? The boss is all up in my business. | 1.2375 | 0.06474 | 80 | 67 | 7 | 6 |
2195 | What do you mean calling me a lap dog? | 1.2375 | 0.05965 | 80 | 65 | 11 | 4 |
2196 | I got a little job for you. | 1.2375 | 0.05694 | 80 | 64 | 13 | 3 |
2197 | The boss thought you might like to read this book - Leadership for Dummies" | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2198 | We definitely agree on this one. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2199 | Here's you're final notice, we're downsizing. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2200 | I am your President and nobody manipulates me. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2201 | He can't think of anything to say so I wrote you this note. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2202 | Sign this requisition for toner. And by the way, I've been sleeping with your wife. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2203 | If you have something to say to me, just say it to me face to face. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2204 | Here's today's news he sees fit to print. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2205 | Explain to me, Sanders, why you lied on your "résumé." You think I'm a dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2206 | Day 42: The boss has given a whole new meaning to the term "micro managing." | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2207 | HR needs to talk to you about harassment allegations. #MiniMeToo | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2208 | Research says you come away happier when handed your pink slip by something that brings back childhood phobias. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2209 | Don't worry, they've been carrying me for years. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2210 | I'm sorry about your job, but his hands are tied. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2211 | I thought I had picked up a copy of 'Memo Writing for Dummies'. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2212 | Myers wants me to give you this list of demands. And his choice to have me act as his representative is not a sign of weakness. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2213 | Send this memo to all the dummies in the office. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2214 | Is this a good time to review all your complaints about that dummy boss of yours? | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2215 | You asked for short-form. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2216 | Your lips are moving as well. | 1.2368 | 0.04909 | 76 | 58 | 18 | 0 |
2217 | Your urinals fail to meet the new specs. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2218 | I don't think you should be calling your CEO 'a little dummy' in your memos to the board. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2219 | here's your short term contract! | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2220 | You said you needed a mouthpiece, so here I am. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2221 | Move your lips one more time and you'll be fired. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2222 | My superior is uncomfortable telling you this, so he asked me to let you know...you're being laid off. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2223 | At least my hands fill out the sleeves | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2224 | Look, I'm just following orders. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2225 | It's a flyer for a workshop on overcoming fear of public speaking. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2226 | This memo says Mr. Hodges hurts productivity with his vexillography. Mr. Hodges only studies flag design in his leisure time, dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2227 | You think a lay-off is bad? I've been downsized my whole life. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2228 | The new 3D printer is online. Oh, and you're all fired. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2229 | Blame him! He's the one asking you to work overtime. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2230 | Excuse me, Patterson, but I never said any of this. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2231 | Gerald wants you to make the font bigger on your documents. | 1.2368 | 0.06720 | 76 | 64 | 6 | 6 |
2232 | We're downsizing, so we're going to have to let you go. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2233 | We are a package deal. He speaks for both of us! | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2234 | We're suing for slander. I'm just his mouthpiece. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2235 | It's easier to fire people when it doesn't come from me directly. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2236 | Hi! I'd like to set up a dummy corporation for Mikhail...I mean Miguel...sorry..Michael Kohn...I mean Cohn...sorry Cohen. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2237 | Corporate policy says I have to tell you that we are dating. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2238 | Hey, don't feel too bad - Bob hot fired by a mime. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2239 | They said I'm only a micromanager... | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2240 | Here’s the written documentation for IRS purposes that I am a dependent. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2241 | It's a pink slip, dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2242 | Starting January 1, we'll be retaining only employees who think outside the voice box. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2243 | This has forced me into a very comprimising position. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2244 | Our focus group thought 'Management for Dummies' was derogatory, but Management disagrees. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2245 | You will no longer be needed at the White House. | 1.2368 | 0.06720 | 76 | 64 | 6 | 6 |
2246 | Johnson was beginning to think that maybe he was the dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2247 | Don't look at it as down-sizing, look at it as gaining a little friend. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2248 | This statement of LGBTD rights clearly says that I have the right to have a hand up my tush during any and all business hours. | 1.2368 | 0.06720 | 76 | 64 | 6 | 6 |
2249 | Seriously, you didn't think I'd recognize the hand writing? | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2250 | I'm his mouthpiece! | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2251 | Compliance found a loophole in our non-retaliation policy. You're fired. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2252 | My opinions are totally my own. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2253 | John realized he was about to be a victim of Charley McCartyism.. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2254 | Let me clear: he is to be cc'ed on everything. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2255 | In keeping with company bylaws, he cannot directly make this job offer to you. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2256 | My study is completed. Little hands don't indicate anything! | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2257 | This report is not your own work ... I may be a puppet, but I am not stupid. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2258 | Scott isn't firing you, Mr. Tibbles is. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2259 | Herbert says he’s very angry that he wasn’t cc’d on this memo. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2260 | Here’s my formal complaint , this man is constantly touching me inappropriately. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2261 | You're fired. And in this case, it's okay to shoot the messenger. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2262 | I hate to be the one to tell you this, so... | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2263 | Your eighth birthday? My lips moved? Your dad refused to pay? Starting to ring a bell? | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2264 | Can you get this for me? I hear that you're the one pulling the strings around here. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2265 | You’re fired. Just don’t take it out on the other dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2266 | Little Bill says you're fired. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2267 | In this industry, you’ve gotta start small | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2268 | Please read this without moving your lips. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2269 | Don't be alarmed by being handed a "pink slip" from a dummy,....it has been the new normal around here for over a year ! | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2270 | You typed your report on my grandfather's remains. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2271 | Remember. This conversation never happened. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2272 | I don't care if you think the office is run by a bunch of dummies, I'm the BOSS! | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2273 | I'm reporting you for microaggression | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2274 | I've been made redundant. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2275 | I quit! Who's the dummy now? | 1.2368 | 0.04909 | 76 | 58 | 18 | 0 |
2276 | I hear your voice, but I’m seeing your lips move. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2277 | Read my lips: no more wisecracks. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2278 | I can't talk, he's got his hand up my ass. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2279 | Read this, dummy. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2280 | When you squint, you barely even notice he’s a corporate puppet | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2281 | Read my lips, Carl... | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2282 | You haven't signed my petition against sock puppets. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2283 | Why do you assume the expense report with the comedy club is mine, dummy? | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2284 | Here’s a list of reasons you should hang out with Gary. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2285 | You’re fired. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2286 | I need this form filled out and don’t make me look like a dummy! | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2287 | Managements' new strategy to inform workers of imminent downsizing was not well received. | 1.2368 | 0.05254 | 76 | 59 | 16 | 1 |
2288 | Read my lips: the President can do anything. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2289 | Since you couldn't hear me from across the office, I decided to throw my voice. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2290 | I quit; I'm tired of being your puppet. | 1.2368 | 0.06720 | 76 | 64 | 6 | 6 |
2291 | Were you the one who wrote this for him for me? | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2292 | Who do you think is firing you? Is there someone else in the office? | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2293 | Your puppet is served. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2294 | I got your memo about printing out emails. | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2295 | We haven't met before but I'm the guy who delivers the small print. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2296 | Betcha I can turn that big ol' frown upside d—just kidding; you’re fired. | 1.2368 | 0.04909 | 76 | 58 | 18 | 0 |
2297 | I have been working time and a half on this! | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2298 | He doesn't want to fire you, so I will. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2299 | This copy is hollow, wooden, and doesn't let your own voice come through. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2300 | It’s says “Subpoena”, dummy! | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2301 | Frankly Wilson, I found your memo of computer skills for dummies quite offensive! | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2302 | Okay, now talk to me as if I’m a client. | 1.2368 | 0.06453 | 76 | 63 | 8 | 5 |
2303 | Your invite doesn't say if we can bring a plus one. | 1.2368 | 0.05578 | 76 | 60 | 14 | 2 |
2304 | Did you know we're downsizing! | 1.2368 | 0.06175 | 76 | 62 | 10 | 4 |
2305 | It’s a list of complaints from somebody who will remain nameless. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2306 | He isn’t joking. If you don’t start working harder, he will put an arm up your a**. | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2307 | You know I can see you, right? | 1.2368 | 0.05884 | 76 | 61 | 12 | 3 |
2308 | You call this funny? | 1.2338 | 0.06102 | 77 | 63 | 10 | 4 |
2309 | Sorry Glenn, we’re downsizing. | 1.2338 | 0.05514 | 77 | 61 | 14 | 2 |
2310 | It’s a supoena...for the Mcarthy hearings. | 1.2338 | 0.05514 | 77 | 61 | 14 | 2 |
2311 | You mean to tell me the “for dummies” series isn’t really for dummies? | 1.2338 | 0.05816 | 77 | 62 | 12 | 3 |
2312 | This memo from Mr. Finklestein mandates an end to all micromanagement...wait, is he standing behind me? | 1.2338 | 0.05195 | 77 | 60 | 16 | 1 |
2313 | Size discrination | 1.2338 | 0.05514 | 77 | 61 | 14 | 2 |
2314 | You're fired. And don't chop the messenger. | 1.2338 | 0.05816 | 77 | 62 | 12 | 3 |
2315 | This is a written-warning to stop goofing around at the office. | 1.2338 | 0.06102 | 77 | 63 | 10 | 4 |
2316 | Here is a note from my doctor who is giving me a colonoscopy as I speak. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2317 | My client would like to submit this brief to the House committee. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2318 | Just remember.... you didn’t hear this from me. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2319 | he's always up my ass about time sheets | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2320 | This report makes me re-think who the actual dummy is | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2321 | You’ll notice that my resume highlights my teamwork abilities. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2322 | You’re fired for calling your boss a dummy! | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2323 | Here’s tonight’s breaking news, but remember: You didn’t hear it from me. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2324 | Words in my mouth? Perish the thought! | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2325 | Just a reminder that it's 'take your daughter (and/or divorce coping mechanism) to work day' tomorrow | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2326 | Just title it My Struggle. So what if another semitic people call it Jihad. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2327 | The coward carrying me doesn't have the guts to tell you himself. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2328 | I do as much work as he does so I should get equal pay. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2329 | Hey dummy, give Kevin a raise! | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2330 | I have here a list of suggestions, comments, complaints, and demands from an anonymous employee. | 1.2329 | 0.06621 | 73 | 61 | 7 | 5 |
2331 | Guess what -- you accidentally cc'd me on your email. Who's the dummy now? | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2332 | You expect me to believe you wrote this on your own? | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2333 | So, the big boys sent me to tell you that you're fired. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2334 | Send this, and don't go putting words in my mouth. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2335 | Will you google this for me? My fingers are stiff. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2336 | Steven Taylor, you’ve just been served. Have a nice day. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2337 | this was very hard to write | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2338 | The President wants to tell you your fired and that he can do it while drinking a glass of water? | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2339 | Uh...yeah. Uh...what he said. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2340 | I think I can speak for rest of the company that your delivery is a bit wooden. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2341 | First do me a favor and check where Ned has his hand. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2342 | I'm from outplacement. We want you to look back on this and laugh. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2343 | I'm your boss, do as he says! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2344 | What dummy wrote this? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2345 | Did you even read Windows for Dummies? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2346 | Look, dumbass! I don’t read script. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2347 | You misspelled the boss's name on the annual report. Who's the dummy now, Bob? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2348 | Print this while drinking a glass of water and humming 'Swanee River' | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2349 | What do you mean you can see my mouth moving? | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2350 | Why should I listen to you? You’re a dummy. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2351 | See! You're not the only one in this firm that knows short hand!" | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2352 | You're upset with me? You should have seen his monkey! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2353 | You didn't make the boss's short list for anything, whatsoever. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2354 | It's our new policy stating ventriloquism is not creepy as hell. Please post it immediately. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2355 | I will have my people talk to your people about this! | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2356 | If I delivered this speech, they'd call me a dummy! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2357 | Severance has a whole other meaning for me. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2358 | Help! This fool won’t put me down. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2359 | He's resigning because he feels belittled. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2360 | I want these five things done by tomorrow or the ventriloquist comes unhinged. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2361 | You're fired!" "Says who? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2362 | HR's new non-discrimination policy covers dummies. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2363 | My contract speaks for itself. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2364 | My manager felt bad about giving you more work to do at 4:45, so I volunteered to do it for him. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2365 | I’m Dr Jackson and I wrote this report. | 1.2329 | 0.06621 | 73 | 61 | 7 | 5 |
2366 | I want this done right the first time. I know when you cut corners, I'm not a dummy. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2367 | I want everything in duplicate. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2368 | Wait 'till you see my office! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2369 | I speak for my client here when I say that the both of us agree that a separtion is in order | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2370 | Here’s my proposal for a dummy neutral restroom. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2371 | As stated in the Dunham, Bergen, Winchell case, you need to look at me when I am talking to you. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2372 | Come on Wiggins, think for yourself! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2373 | You are about to know how I feel all the time. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2374 | I demand to have my voice heard! | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2375 | Help me, he's a madman. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2376 | I guess micromangement has a different meaning around here...huh, Ted. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2377 | You're fired. I didn't want to do it but I was manipulated by my idiot supervisor. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2378 | I told my goofy friend here to 'give this to Emma,' but he thought I said 'give me an enema.' | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2379 | Meet your new department head. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2380 | ... and if you screw this up, upper management will be all over your ass. Trust me on this! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2381 | I’m sorry that you’re getting this secondhand... but you’re fired. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2382 | Put a suit on- this is a formal work space so suits are required and no toys are allowed. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2383 | I wrote this song about you. Does that make me weird? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2384 | The boss wants you to know that he values autonomy | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2385 | You need to learn to write in your own voice! | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2386 | Don't blame him for all the work you're about to do, he just carries me around. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2387 | He's the ball-buster. I'm the nutcracker! | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2388 | I would like to discuss a raise for my partner and I. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2389 | Roger--he of little backbone--asked me to give you this request. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2390 | HR, this is a sexual harassment notice. He won't take his hand off my butt! | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2391 | I only use him for real estate deals. | 1.2329 | 0.05349 | 73 | 57 | 15 | 1 |
2392 | Check it out. It's a non-disclosure agreement for dummys who're not responsible for what they say. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2393 | Jim couldn't bear to fire you face-to-face, so he brought me. | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2394 | We need to talk - mannequin a mano. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2395 | I may be a “sycophantic gerbil”, but I know when to avoid “Reply All”. | 1.2329 | 0.04981 | 73 | 56 | 17 | 0 |
2396 | From an anonymous source, you're fired. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2397 | I'm testing out our new a proxy server | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2398 | I'm afraid we're having our Mini-MeToo moment. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2399 | The big brass would rather not speak to underlings. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2400 | This couldn't have been anymore awkward if they had sent the company mime to deliver the pink slip. | 1.2329 | 0.06019 | 73 | 59 | 11 | 3 |
2401 | According to his annual employee review, I think Charles deserves a raise! | 1.2329 | 0.05694 | 73 | 58 | 13 | 2 |
2402 | They loved my prototype; now who's the dummy? | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2403 | Just sign this NDA and the big guy gives you $130,000. | 1.2329 | 0.06327 | 73 | 60 | 9 | 4 |
2404 | I heard your comment on how I act like I have something up my ass. | 1.2308 | 0.05748 | 78 | 63 | 12 | 3 |
2405 | I liked it better when I only had to pretend to respect one boss. | 1.2308 | 0.05748 | 78 | 63 | 12 | 3 |
2406 | Please note that the views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of my present owner | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2407 | Plausible deniability. I'll take the fall if anything goes wrong. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2408 | I'm the only employee with the guts to tell you this memo is asinine. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2409 | HR would like to speak with you. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2410 | Big boss asked me to hand you this. His hands are full at the moment. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2411 | For the last time, the company handbook states that the freezer is for food only. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2412 | I’m a precautionary measure: Mini Me-Too. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2413 | Psst. Please sign this birthday card for the boss. | 1.2297 | 0.06816 | 74 | 63 | 5 | 6 |
2414 | My personal lawyer, completely acting on his own, would like you to sign this NDA. | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
2415 | "And at the top of the list is Murphy's Oil installed in the rest rooms". | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2416 | Simpson, we don't use the term "dummy" around here. I'm sorry, but... you're fired. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2417 | If you’re gonna put words in my mouth, try ‘These jokes suck’. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2418 | It's my body - when I die I want to go as a yule log. | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2419 | Of course it’s a dummy bank account; what were you expecting? | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
2420 | I'd like to file a me two complaint. | 1.2297 | 0.06538 | 74 | 62 | 7 | 5 |
2421 | Just because I let this guy put his hand up my butt and make me talk like a puppet does not mean that my ideas are not good. | 1.2297 | 0.06538 | 74 | 62 | 7 | 5 |
2422 | Don't shoot the big guy, it's the little guy's idea. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2423 | Spare me these tedious disquisitions on macroeconomic theory, Thornstein. You know good and goddamn well what I mean by vertical integration! | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2424 | I'm new here, this guy's hands are cold, file this for me please. | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
2425 | I know you're sleeping with with my wife, Johnson. | 1.2297 | 0.06538 | 74 | 62 | 7 | 5 |
2426 | Evans! I need you to run out and get me some wood glue. And lots of it. When you get back, clear out your desk. Here's your pink slip. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2427 | Take this memo, and don't tell me to shove it up my ass, it's already too crowded in there. | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
2428 | Yes I'm serious, that is why I delivered this message personally! | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
2429 | As you can see, Steve, even management is downsizing this year. | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
2430 | We’re going to need these “Work-Appropriate Hand Attirre” memos in triplicate by end of business. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2431 | If I could speak for myself you would not be my first choice. | 1.2297 | 0.05945 | 74 | 60 | 11 | 3 |
2432 | What is the meaning of this, you dummy? | 1.2297 | 0.04923 | 74 | 57 | 17 | 0 |
2433 | The 'Business for Dummies' idea got the 'go ahead.' | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2434 | Hold this, my hands are too small. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2435 | Here are my client's demands. Also, would you turn up the thermostat? His hands are freezing! | 1.2297 | 0.06249 | 74 | 61 | 9 | 4 |
2436 | We need to move on this. Whaddya say we cut out the middle man? | 1.2297 | 0.05286 | 74 | 58 | 15 | 1 |
2437 | I thought it was a good report, but the clowns upstairs want you to rewrite it. | 1.2297 | 0.05625 | 74 | 59 | 13 | 2 |
2438 | I see you've brought your corporate puppet with you today. | 1.2286 | 0.05449 | 70 | 55 | 14 | 1 |
2439 | Hi, I'm Mini-Me Mueller and here's your subpoena. | 1.2286 | 0.05817 | 70 | 56 | 12 | 2 |
2440 | The boss is up my ass trying to get these papers filed by the deadline. | 1.2286 | 0.06490 | 70 | 58 | 8 | 4 |
2441 | It seems I'm not the only dummy in here. You're fired! | 1.2286 | 0.05817 | 70 | 56 | 12 | 2 |
2442 | Here, see? They love my haiku, and they’re gonna publish it. Asshole! | 1.2278 | 0.05961 | 79 | 65 | 10 | 4 |
2443 | Pay no attention to that man behind the dummy. Did you or did you not write this? | 1.2278 | 0.05683 | 79 | 64 | 12 | 3 |
2444 | I'm not a dummy! He's the dummy! | 1.2278 | 0.06228 | 79 | 66 | 8 | 5 |
2445 | Where in the sexual harassment guidelines does it say he gets to put his hand up there? | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2446 | Don’t like it? Talk to the hand. | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2447 | This is Jason, our ventriloquits compliance officer. | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2448 | You're done being my puppet. | 1.2267 | 0.05874 | 75 | 61 | 11 | 3 |
2449 | Got the memo, dummy? | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2450 | Don't hit me, I'm just the messenger! | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2451 | You're to be replaced by an artificial intelligence, like me. | 1.2267 | 0.05874 | 75 | 61 | 11 | 3 |
2452 | No more referring to me as a common dummy. This nursery affidavit establishes that I am a rare blend of maple and mahogany. | 1.2267 | 0.05224 | 75 | 59 | 15 | 1 |
2453 | I've been meaning to speak to you. | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2454 | I think I speak for both us when I say this report isn't up to snuff, Campbell. | 1.2267 | 0.05558 | 75 | 60 | 13 | 2 |
2455 | I now know who had a hand in that decision. | 1.2254 | 0.06713 | 71 | 60 | 6 | 5 |
2456 | Don't look at me like I've a thumb up my @$$." "Where are my TPS reports? | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2457 | What do you mean I fell short of expectations! | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2458 | Reed the Memo Dummy says: read the memo, dummy. | 1.2254 | 0.04994 | 71 | 55 | 16 | 0 |
2459 | Were you speaking for yourself when you sent this? | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2460 | This is not how you downsize! | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2461 | The dummy was too afraid to ask for a raise... so I will! | 1.2254 | 0.04994 | 71 | 55 | 16 | 0 |
2462 | From the look of these numbers, I'd say you're the dummy, pal! | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2463 | My therapist says I have anxiety, but H.R. doesn't allow support animals. | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2464 | Ha! A one-page tax return - who's the dummy now? | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2465 | I'd appreciate your advice on a situation of unwelcome touching. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2466 | I wrote this memo to give him plausible deniability. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2467 | Pay no attention to the man behind the closer. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2468 | I'm not much of a micro manager but... | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2469 | Nine point font, please. I'm not blind. | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2470 | I wrote you another poem—no strings attached. | 1.2254 | 0.04994 | 71 | 55 | 16 | 0 |
2471 | "It's his request for a squatting desk". | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2472 | I have been assigned the unpleasant task of going over your annual performance review. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2473 | Bill, here are Mike and my per diems for Charlotte. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2474 | It's a harassment complaint...I can't do anything without this guy's hands all over me. | 1.2254 | 0.06713 | 71 | 60 | 6 | 5 |
2475 | Do you HR guys ever get tired of issuing new dress codes? He has to wear gloves. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2476 | We've decided to let you go. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2477 | We're being downsized and I do feel your pain. | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2478 | I don't want to put words in your mouth, but text this. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2479 | This is your last official warning to use my correct pronouns, or else. | 1.2254 | 0.06713 | 71 | 60 | 6 | 5 |
2480 | Pack a bag Pierre. Got to go to Paris and this clown don’t parlez francais. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2481 | Tell Mr. Cohen that his shell company makes us all look like dummies ! | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2482 | ...And if I get any more crap from you like this, you’ll be hearing from the big boss! | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2483 | Larry wasn't prepared for this when they told him the boss his a hand in everything... | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2484 | I may be a dummy but you're fired! | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2485 | I'm told your responsible for this mini-meme? | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2486 | I'm the boss. Nobody speaks for me. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2487 | So...Steve doesn't know how to delegate? Then how did I just come up with the new marketing proposal? | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2488 | Don't think you can throw your voice around here! | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2489 | In the words of another dummy, 'You're fired.' | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2490 | Regrettably, the company has been forced to do some downsizing. | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2491 | Hank knew the day would come when he would come face-to-face with Willard the Firing Dummy. | 1.2254 | 0.06406 | 71 | 59 | 8 | 4 |
2492 | My passive-aggressive boss’ alter-ego delivered the list of things Little Dolphie would like done by 5 o’clock... | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2493 | The Board's new plan will decrease expenses by downsizing personnel. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2494 | Sorry, kid. I don’t make the rules. | 1.2254 | 0.06084 | 71 | 58 | 10 | 3 |
2495 | Whatever you do, don't call him a dummy. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2496 | I am the definition of a micromanager! | 1.2254 | 0.06713 | 71 | 60 | 6 | 5 |
2497 | I'm not tiny. I'm HUGE! Here, have some more classified information, Ambassador Lavrov. | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2498 | 'Speaking for myself, you won't be missed. | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2499 | Yes, my proxy has also signed the form. | 1.2254 | 0.05743 | 71 | 57 | 12 | 2 |
2500 | Sorry for the short notice, but here's your walking papers. | 1.2254 | 0.05382 | 71 | 56 | 14 | 1 |
2501 | Carbon copy me on this. | 1.2239 | 0.05554 | 67 | 53 | 13 | 1 |
2502 | Hello HR, I'm suing the guy behind me for harassment. | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
2503 | Performance review time. And since your boss has trouble with confrontations, I’ll handle the difficult parts. | 1.2237 | 0.06098 | 76 | 63 | 9 | 4 |
2504 | We've decided against your proposal of cutting middle management. | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
2505 | Plausible deniability my friend? | 1.2237 | 0.05493 | 76 | 61 | 13 | 2 |
2506 | I'm his mouthpiece! | 1.2237 | 0.05803 | 76 | 62 | 11 | 3 |
2507 | Read my lips, Johnson. I said DO NOT double-space this. | 1.2237 | 0.05803 | 76 | 62 | 11 | 3 |
2508 | How am I supposed to approve your request when you know we just went through downsizing? | 1.2237 | 0.05164 | 76 | 60 | 15 | 1 |
2509 | The boss is a virtual ventriloquist. He has me write these memos and you can't even see his hands move! | 1.2222 | 0.06324 | 72 | 60 | 8 | 4 |
2510 | He says he tired of just communicating by email. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2511 | Johnson, read my lips: the numbers don’t add up. I’m going to have to report you to my Controller. | 1.2222 | 0.04934 | 72 | 56 | 16 | 0 |
2512 | Don't complain—the boss is riding my ass, too. | 1.2222 | 0.06324 | 72 | 60 | 8 | 4 |
2513 | I’d like to open this small business. | 1.2222 | 0.06324 | 72 | 60 | 8 | 4 |
2514 | I hired him for his looks. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2515 | Where can I drop off this complaint about the height of the mailboxes? | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2516 | Sign it or I'll kick the stuffing out of your electronic dummy. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2517 | Well, well, I think sending me this little note is a bit passive aggressive, wouldn't you agree? | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2518 | He's got laryngitis but apparently you're fired. | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2519 | I'm learning to be more assertive. | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
2520 | And if this expense account doesn't outrage me enough, the guy behind me has his hand up my butt. | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
2521 | Well that's better, a dummy got your attention. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2522 | I'm from HR and I'll personally be available to discuss with an open mind, why you're being let go. | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2523 | Listen, James, I'm not trying to be mean, but from one dummy to another.... | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
2524 | Yes, I'm the dummy delivering your pink slip. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2525 | I'm sorry, but the font size is way too small. | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
2526 | Whats that Mr. Stephenson... He won't like his severance package... No, I don't think he will! | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2527 | No, no, no, that's backwards. I fly the children's ticket. The guy behind me is my service dummy. He flies streereage. | 1.2222 | 0.06007 | 72 | 59 | 10 | 3 |
2528 | Do it! Or, he'll stick his hand up your ... Just do it! | 1.2222 | 0.05672 | 72 | 58 | 12 | 2 |
2529 | This is a formal complaint about where his hand is - act natural. | 1.2222 | 0.05316 | 72 | 57 | 14 | 1 |
2530 | This is outrageous. Our department has already been downsized. | 1.2208 | 0.05104 | 77 | 61 | 15 | 1 |
2531 | Harry can't talk to you right now, but here's something pink that he wants you to read quietly. | 1.2208 | 0.05429 | 77 | 62 | 13 | 2 |
2532 | Looking at your last review, it looks like you're the dummy - not me. | 1.2208 | 0.06026 | 77 | 64 | 9 | 4 |
2533 | How many times do I have to tell you to address emails to me instead of the dummy behind me? | 1.2208 | 0.06303 | 77 | 65 | 7 | 5 |
2534 | You keep writing ‘Dummy’ in front of my lines, and I will be the end of you, Withers. | 1.2208 | 0.05429 | 77 | 62 | 13 | 2 |
2535 | My resignation. I am sick and tired of him having his head up his ass and his hand up my ass. | 1.2208 | 0.05429 | 77 | 62 | 13 | 2 |
2536 | Have this done by five or he'll have his hand up your butt! | 1.2208 | 0.06026 | 77 | 64 | 9 | 4 |
2537 | This is to notify you that it's PC to call only one of us a dummy. | 1.2208 | 0.05429 | 77 | 62 | 13 | 2 |
2538 | You misspelled gingivitis. No small matter. | 1.2192 | 0.05602 | 73 | 59 | 12 | 2 |
2539 | It's a love note; please take it. | 1.2192 | 0.05932 | 73 | 60 | 10 | 3 |
2540 | It's obvious I am not the dummy here. | 1.2192 | 0.06244 | 73 | 61 | 8 | 4 |
2541 | I see you never bothered to read PCs for Dummies. | 1.2192 | 0.06244 | 73 | 61 | 8 | 4 |
2542 | You didn't get this from me, understand? | 1.2192 | 0.05602 | 73 | 59 | 12 | 2 |
2543 | Well Bill, it has come to this. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2544 | Well, well, look who's been spreading word- like 'downsized', 'short list' or anything '...for Dummies'. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2545 | I'm not my own man? Who's the complaint against - me or him? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2546 | It doesn’t take a dummy to see whose cooking the books. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2547 | Can you believe this shit? | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2548 | I object to your comment about too many yes-men and dummies working here. | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2549 | It's not that I hate your work, I just find it creepy and unfunny. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2550 | What kind of boss do you take me for? Do I look like a dummy to you? | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2551 | This is a list of my demands. You'll get his later. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2552 | The boss needs some dummy to pull these files. And you’re it. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2553 | We’re letting go of all you office drones. It’s time we had a corporate puppet around here. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2554 | You're fired, you small handed freak! | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2555 | Finally... proof that someone around here is doing things behind my back! | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2556 | Boss wants two copies of everything! | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2557 | I've rewritten this speech so that it reflects MY thinking. I don't appreciate your putting words in my mouth! | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2558 | I need you to dummy up a proposal by the end of the day. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2559 | #Mini-Me Too. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2560 | You can honestly testify that the company never gave me these instructions. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2561 | If my wife asks: I'm not here. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2562 | Severance for dummies. | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2563 | If you sign, there will be no strings attached. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2564 | He's already putting words in my mouth, now he's giving me cue cards?!, we are worried about him...I mean us...I mean me | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2565 | Well frankly, Peter, you make ME uncomfortable with YOUR lack of professionalism. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2566 | You're fired. If it makes you feel any better, please feel free to shoot the messenger. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2567 | Ok "Mister Critic", just what did you mean that my performance seemed "wooden"? | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2568 | The ventriloquist says this script isn't funny, and he's sick of being the straight man! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2569 | My emotional-support dummy has reported you to H.R. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2570 | The Big Dummy wants you to take care of this. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2571 | We are trying to lower the expectations on this year’s employee bonuses. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2572 | You will not get overtime since the order did not come directly from upper management. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2573 | The President requested that memo’s fit better in the hands. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2574 | I need this done by 7, management is up my a--. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2575 | Did you write this note in the suggestion box that says, "management is out of touch"? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2576 | If you could have this back on his desk by 5pm that would be great. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2577 | I may be dummy, but guess who's getting the pink slip? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2578 | And for our next act, we’ll make Larry’s job disappear! | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2579 | My source insisted on strict anonymity. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2580 | Tiny paper for your tiny tiny hands Jim. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2581 | I’m the little man gnawing inside he told you about—and here’s how I see it. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2582 | I want this on the double. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2583 | I can't speak about it, so I wrote it down. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2584 | The tone of your editorial is strangely stiff, hollow, and perverse: I love it! | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2585 | I’m sorry, but we wanted two job applications. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2586 | Shoot the messenger if you must. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2587 | And that's "Hey, 'Mr.' Dummy!" to you. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2588 | Help! I'm being held hostage, and it's very uncomfortable. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2589 | Our new corporate philosophy only allows for fascism in small doses. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2590 | Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Do you think I'm a dummy? | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2591 | It’s less dangerous than reply-all. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2592 | And that's just the half of it, you pike-nosed chiseler. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2593 | By all means, shoot the messenger. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2594 | What do you mean, "I'm reclaiming my wood"? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2595 | Congratulations Smithers. Upper management pulled some strings and got you a small raise. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2596 | Good morning. I have been appointed diversity supervisor here and these are your work orders for today. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2597 | Like I said, he's not my boss. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2598 | Will you take these five steps to make the office less of a hellhole? Asking for a friend. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2599 | He needs this printed in large type | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2600 | Bing! You've got mail! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2601 | Maybe, instead of criticizing over email, you say it to my face... | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2602 | Focus on the crucial evidence in my hand. Not on the man behind me. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2603 | Don't say you heard about this from me! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2604 | I hate my boss--he always talks out of his ass | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2605 | Here's Bob's quarterly report. He hates your guts. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2606 | Eve the dummy holding me says this work is crap! | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2607 | My client pleads the fifth, but if -- hypothetically -- he couldn't shut up, here is the story he wants you to broadcast. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2608 | I have a dummy assignment for you. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2609 | I'm filing a complaint with H.R. that you treat me like a dummy. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2610 | The big guy asked me to deliver this to you personally. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2611 | Here's our resignation, we're going to Vegas. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2612 | It's the only way I can safely ask out co-workers. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2613 | I wrote the article, you boob! He's just a dummy with his hand up my butt. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2614 | Jenkins, you pressed "reply all" with your snide little comment about me, yet somehow I'm the dummy? | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2615 | Now whose the dummy?!? | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2616 | Talk to the hand... He's got something to say. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2617 | This is my speech at the Awards dinner. Punch it up." | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2618 | We are providing the short form only. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2619 | Looks like we're trading places. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2620 | Can you explain this note you wrote that says Bob is a dummy? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2621 | We don't like what you've been Tweeting about corporate puppets, Jonathan. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2622 | You can disregard the old memo. Some other dummy wrote it. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2623 | See, Dan? This white paper shows our 'Boss Hitler' puppets are killing it with kids. It's ironic fascism! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2624 | In laying you off, I've taken a page out of 'Downsizing for Dummies.' | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2625 | He told me not to say anything,but this to-do list is ridiculous. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2626 | Sign this, you annoying stupid idiot! Pay no attention to the big man behind me. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2627 | Just sign this form stating that you will no longer speak for yourself. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2628 | Welcome to the office. We like to have fun around here. | 1.2174 | 0.05002 | 69 | 54 | 15 | 0 |
2629 | We have a saying at the Acme Ventroliquist's Dummy Corporation - get your partner's hand out of your butt and get back to work! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2630 | It’s the absolute best memo of all time. Ever. Trust me. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2631 | Not any dummy can make it in business, let me tell ya. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2632 | You don't have to ask me twice | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2633 | The boss is too embarrassed to tell you but he's given you a reference | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2634 | Did you believe him when he said “I won’t fire you”? | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2635 | Hey idiot, here is the report. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2636 | I assure you we recognize the severity of this complaint. Show me on the man where he touched you. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2637 | This font is too big! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2638 | Too wooden | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2639 | Ah, which one of you dummies wrote this? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2640 | You have the right to remain silent,and any dummy may be used against you. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2641 | I know this is difficult news, but i felt it was important to deliver it in person. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2642 | Here is a dummy memo from HR for you. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2643 | Here is the next chapter for 'Post-Its for Dummies'. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2644 | For reasons which I cannot specify, you are now the boss. Congratulations. Now fire me, sign this, then fire him. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2645 | It's from the President...you are fired. | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2646 | Can you pin this on the wall for me. My arms don't move. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2647 | For reasons that should be obvious, please stop heading your reports with the words, "Dummy Figures." | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2648 | Here's that copy you asked for. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2649 | Take this assignment or the guy behind me gets it. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2650 | Bad news for you, Jack. We're downsizing your department. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2651 | I take it that this pink sheet of paper isn't my Hogwarts acceptance letter? | 1.2174 | 0.06486 | 69 | 58 | 7 | 4 |
2652 | It’s bring your son to work week and here’s a list of what my father wants you to do today. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2653 | What do you mean you liked my old way of micro managing better? | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2654 | You're promoted. You are the only one in this company not giving lip service. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2655 | Seems like your employee satisfaction survey was filled out by a dummy. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2656 | How about another little tidbit from " Anonymous Source ". | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2657 | The shareholders didn't laugh either. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2658 | Is this what you think passes for a dummy corporation? | 1.2174 | 0.06807 | 69 | 59 | 5 | 5 |
2659 | Are you the dummy who sent out this memo? | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2660 | I'm sorry your bonus is so meagre, but we're a little short this year. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2661 | Our outside consultant recommends a raise for upper management. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2662 | Here is a list of my demands and numbers 1 through 7 are the same: "Stop calling me a mouth-piece" | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2663 | I’m filing a formal complaint. I can’t seem to get this guy outta my business. | 1.2174 | 0.06149 | 69 | 57 | 9 | 3 |
2664 | Two hundred pieces of paperwork to get me on his hand, and he still doesn’t think bureaucracy is silly! | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2665 | Wilson, downsizing starts today, so I need you to process Big Tom's severance immediately. | 1.2174 | 0.05792 | 69 | 56 | 11 | 2 |
2666 | That's what I said. You're a dummy. | 1.2174 | 0.05411 | 69 | 55 | 13 | 1 |
2667 | The company is downsizing. First a dummy then a robot. Watch out! | 1.2162 | 0.06166 | 74 | 62 | 8 | 4 |
2668 | I hate to do this, but the big guys have me by the crotch. | 1.2162 | 0.06166 | 74 | 62 | 8 | 4 |
2669 | Hate to tell ya, but corporate says we’re downsizing. | 1.2162 | 0.04818 | 74 | 58 | 16 | 0 |
2670 | Our corporate inventory-shrinkage policy. Don't make my mistake by violating it. | 1.2154 | 0.05139 | 65 | 51 | 14 | 0 |
2671 | Don’t get me wrong, Johnson really appreciates the work you’re doing. It’s me that thinks you’re a pitiful excuse for an accountant. | 1.2154 | 0.05139 | 65 | 51 | 14 | 0 |
2672 | New company policy Bill. Going forward, we're doing all prostate exams in-house. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2673 | If you're going to insult me, do it right Jerry. I have a HAND up my ass, not a stick. | 1.2143 | 0.05717 | 70 | 57 | 11 | 2 |
2674 | I hate having to do the boss's dirty work, but you're fired. | 1.2143 | 0.06400 | 70 | 59 | 7 | 4 |
2675 | As Trump’s new advisor, I’m going to have to ask you to sign this NDA, or “You’re fired”. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2676 | We’ve been let go, but first we have to train our replacements. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2677 | I said laminated, Jones! LAMINATED! | 1.2143 | 0.06400 | 70 | 59 | 7 | 4 |
2678 | I'm sorry you have to work weekends, but the boss is really on my back about this. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
2679 | Here’s the schedule for my next non-speaking engagement. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
2680 | My computer crashed. Thank heaven for my back-up. | 1.2143 | 0.05717 | 70 | 57 | 11 | 2 |
2681 | When I suggested Office for Dummies, I didn’t mean this. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2682 | You’re the puppet! You’re the puppet! Admit it. Sign here. | 1.2143 | 0.05717 | 70 | 57 | 11 | 2 |
2683 | I have a few small suggestions | 1.2143 | 0.05717 | 70 | 57 | 11 | 2 |
2684 | Fake facts -- all of 'em. | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2685 | Edgar, you tell your puppet that this note from his "carpenter" is not good enough to excuse his absence here today! | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2686 | He hates handing out pink slips, but he likes to keep his hand in. | 1.2143 | 0.05717 | 70 | 57 | 11 | 2 |
2687 | Here's my invoice. I know it's expensive, but he's the only consultant who understands me. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
2688 | Look, I'm the puppet master here, okay? | 1.2143 | 0.06068 | 70 | 58 | 9 | 3 |
2689 | Just sitting in for Bill. You're fired. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 | 13 | 1 |
2690 | What do I look like, a Dummy?!!! | 1.2143 | 0.06400 | 70 | 59 | 7 | 4 |
2691 | I'm not a dummy, Jim..hard to miss that your numbers are down again. Read my lips: I better see improvement next month. | 1.2143 | 0.05342 | 70 | 56 |