Contest #607


Cartoon

607


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In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 My only regret is that he never got around to visiting your mother. 1.9791 0.01290 4216 1524 1256 1436
1 He touched so many lives. 1.9696 0.01133 5140 1776 1744 1620
2 Well, that just leaves taxes. 1.9629 0.02425 1133 399 377 357
3 You know, I can never define irony, but I know it when I see it. 1.9353 0.02286 1237 442 433 362
4 I was hoping taxes would go first. 1.9266 0.01136 5204 1951 1684 1569
5 Well, I guess that just leaves taxes. 1.9201 0.01190 4667 1744 1552 1371
6 He lived everyday like it was your last. 1.9144 0.01230 4370 1647 1450 1273
7 I wonder if he saw himself coming. 1.9126 0.01236 4278 1601 1450 1227
8 All they’d say is that it was job-related. 1.8852 0.01408 3032 1105 1170 757
9 I guess we can stop eating kale. 1.8850 0.01171 4792 1882 1579 1331
10 I guess his work finally caught up with him. 1.8845 0.01242 3905 1427 1502 976
11 Well, he has no one to blame but himself for this. 1.8832 0.02232 1284 494 446 344
12 I warned him not to run with that thing. 1.8789 0.01387 3376 1325 1135 916
13 Well, at least he died doing what he loved 1.8739 0.01429 3094 1196 1092 806
14 They did a nice job. He looks grim. 1.8676 0.02077 1405 531 529 345
15 Well, he has no one to blame but himself. 1.8661 0.01157 4826 1924 1624 1278
16 I can’t believe Keith Richards outlived him. 1.8609 0.01260 4292 1803 1283 1206
17 Well, that leaves taxes. 1.8537 0.01488 2878 1158 983 737
18 So where does this leave us on the “till death do us part” thing? 1.8314 0.01300 3684 1510 1285 889
19 Does this mean your mother will be living with us forever? 1.8205 0.01305 3789 1623 1223 943
20 I always hoped that Taxes would be the first to go. 1.8170 0.01249 4148 1791 1325 1032
21 Suddenly everyone has only good things to say about him. 1.8131 0.01190 4376 1841 1512 1023
22 He died doing what he loved. 1.8117 0.01177 4545 1939 1523 1083
23 Then I said, "would it kill you to smile now and then?" 1.8047 0.01388 3369 1486 1055 828
24 Amazon puts everyone out of business. 1.8039 0.01267 4043 1785 1266 992
25 To think how many lives he touched. 1.7883 0.01226 4115 1801 1384 930
26 He had so much death left in him. 1.7849 0.01371 3362 1501 1083 778
27 Well, I guess we can start drinking and smoking again. 1.7830 0.01347 3322 1439 1165 718
28 At least he died doing what he loved. 1.7772 0.01329 3375 1466 1195 714
29 In spite of everything, he stayed grim right up until the end. 1.7769 0.01750 1878 796 705 377
30 I was really hoping Taxes would go first... 1.7660 0.01335 3590 1667 1096 827
31 I hear the new guy has a weed wacker. 1.7639 0.01594 2474 1138 782 554
32 I guess you can be too good at your job. 1.7591 0.01582 2320 1020 839 461
33 And that's when he said, 'Let me handle the N.R.A.' 1.7551 0.01371 3564 1736 965 863
34 I told him not to wear a hoodie in that neighborhood. 1.7475 0.01863 1881 911 534 436
35 See Honey, irony is not dead. 1.7396 0.02523 937 433 315 189
36 No friends, depressing job, constant talk of death—how could we miss the warning signs? 1.7359 0.01647 2253 1064 720 469
37 He touched the lives of so many people. 1.7348 0.01574 2432 1140 797 495
38 Who knew he was allergic to nuts? 1.7315 0.01496 2879 1418 816 645
39 Now there's just taxes 1.7260 0.01412 3036 1449 970 617
40 Will you get out of that coffin and stop scaring the customers with that outfit; I'm trying to make a sale here. 1.7211 0.01558 2646 1321 742 583
41 He should have seen this coming 1.7209 0.01548 2440 1149 823 468
42 Well at least this is the last one of these we'll have to go to. 1.7188 0.01426 2838 1330 976 532
43 I wish he would have had time to stop by the White House first. 1.7182 0.01608 2626 1365 636 625
44 Life won’t be the same without him 1.7171 0.02579 859 401 300 158
45 Well then, you explain how it isn't a suicide. 1.7162 0.01822 1850 905 565 380
46 I always thought he would be the last to go. 1.7143 0.01566 2338 1099 808 431
47 Then again, he always looked like death. 1.7087 0.01501 2592 1244 859 489
48 I wonder who will run the NRA now. 1.7080 0.01598 2565 1324 666 575
49 I guess what goes around really does come around. 1.7024 0.02082 1317 630 449 238
50 The grim truth is he could dish it out but he couldn't take it. 1.7016 0.02117 1297 628 428 241
51 He had so much death left in him. 1.7016 0.01974 1508 735 488 285
52 Ok, now I feel old. 1.6937 0.01526 2527 1249 803 475
53 I hate to say it, but he brought it on himself. 1.6896 0.01719 1936 947 643 346
54 The obit said he had no survivors. 1.6743 0.01778 1845 936 574 335
55 He was a victim of his own success 1.6737 0.01619 2176 1091 704 381
56 I guess now it’s just taxes. 1.6734 0.01818 1785 913 542 330
57 First God, now this. 1.6726 0.01886 1729 907 481 341
58 I wish it had been taxes. 1.6717 0.01855 1712 877 520 315
59 It may be a small crowd. So many of the people he knew are already dead. 1.6692 0.02147 1203 598 405 200
60 Just think of all the lives he touched. 1.6684 0.01700 2069 1075 605 389
61 I’m just saying when it’s my turn please don’t bury me in my work clothes! 1.6619 0.02621 772 379 275 118
62 He, of all people, should have known not to answer the door. 1.6606 0.02606 822 416 269 137
63 He never saw himself coming. 1.6579 0.01750 1903 991 572 340
64 All I said was, “would it kill you to call your mother once in awhile?” 1.6527 0.01811 1817 966 516 335
65 Well, this is a game changer. 1.6527 0.01810 1745 907 537 301
66 He could dish it out, but he couldn't take it. 1.6514 0.01820 1764 930 519 315
67 Oh come on Harold! How could it not be suicide? 1.6507 0.01761 1812 936 573 303
68 Unfortunately now all we have left are taxes. 1.6494 0.02615 733 357 276 100
69 Well he died doing what he loved 1.6485 0.01793 1744 903 551 290
70 I think this means we can start smoking again. 1.6467 0.01831 1653 853 531 269
71 Even he couldn't bear possibly another two years. 1.6466 0.02139 1347 737 349 261
72 He looks like death. They really did a great job on him. 1.6455 0.01902 1605 851 472 282
73 The undertaker is devastated. 1.6404 0.02031 1385 734 415 236
74 He almost made it out unscythed. 1.6389 0.02369 1033 553 300 180
75 I told him not to wear hoodies in rich white neighborhoods. 1.6376 0.01828 1838 1018 468 352
76 Ironically, it was the job that killed him. 1.6372 0.01778 1822 975 533 314
77 I heard that he was texting while reaping. 1.6337 0.02303 1111 605 308 198
78 Well, that leaves taxes. 1.6330 0.01884 1654 900 461 293
79 Well I'll be, death does become him. 1.6329 0.02287 1057 557 331 169
80 It's true. You reap what you sow. 1.6304 0.01835 1680 900 501 279
81 Another White House departure 1.6250 0.02236 1216 683 306 227
82 Bet he didn't see that one coming 1.6244 0.01956 1515 830 424 261
83 I guess that leaves taxes. 1.6234 0.01987 1503 835 399 269
84 They did a wonderful job. He never looked so grim. 1.6229 0.02316 1013 538 319 156
85 I'll miss your brother, Bob, but not his sense of humor. 1.6219 0.02357 1034 566 293 175
86 Too bad. He was in line to be the next White House communications director. 1.6192 0.02188 1237 691 326 220
87 I wonder who came for him. 1.6179 0.01998 1387 750 417 220
88 I've always told him this job will be the death of him. 1.6154 0.01984 1334 705 437 192
89 I guess eventually you reap what you sow. 1.6120 0.02141 1188 643 363 182
90 Was this your mother's only outfit? 1.6119 0.02209 1265 731 294 240
91 Well, you have to appreciate the irony, at least... 1.6118 0.02290 1002 533 325 144
92 Oh for Christ's sake, get out of bed, you're going to be late for work. 1.6113 0.02197 1258 721 305 232
93 I wouldn't want to meet the guy who came for him. 1.6111 0.02142 1242 689 347 206
94 Do you think it was the Russians? 1.6107 0.02129 1238 682 356 200
95 No, that's just where he sleeps. 1.6096 0.02943 602 320 197 85
96 Try parting us now, asshole. 1.6083 0.02321 1103 628 279 196
97 He's never looked more like himself. 1.6078 0.03857 357 192 113 52
98 No one has any job security any more. 1.6054 0.02260 1115 624 307 184
99 Well this changes everything. I guess I can cancel my colonoscopy. 1.6045 0.02344 986 539 298 149
100 Well this is grim. 1.6044 0.02211 1135 628 328 179
101 He was there at the end for so many. 1.6036 0.02188 1125 614 343 168
102 I thought Pestilence gave a surprisingly moving eulogy. 1.6029 0.02447 899 491 274 134
103 It was a pre-existing condition 1.6004 0.02243 1081 596 321 164
104 He brought it on himself. 1.5971 0.02332 1025 575 288 162
105 Apparently it was a work-related fatality. 1.5954 0.02428 833 441 288 104
106 Tragic. I so wanted to have you meet him. 1.5954 0.02453 1006 590 233 183
107 Yeah, but we still have taxes. 1.5944 0.02422 1001 579 249 173
108 He went down swinging. 1.5936 0.02407 913 502 280 131
109 I wonder who showed up at HIS door? 1.5928 0.02388 975 550 272 153
110 He tried to go after Betty White. 1.5927 0.02489 955 556 232 167
111 Apparently he was texting-while-scything. 1.5925 0.02431 962 549 256 157
112 I heard they're having a hard time finding someone to deliver the eulogy. 1.5924 0.02309 979 536 306 137
113 At least he died doing something he loved. 1.5916 0.02368 950 526 286 138
114 I didn't even know he had a prostate. 1.5893 0.02941 655 375 174 106
115 We still got taxes. 1.5887 0.02416 924 517 270 137
116 He touched a lot of people. 1.5882 0.02467 918 523 250 145
117 I'm confused. Does this mean we're off the hook? 1.5862 0.02392 899 494 283 122
118 So I guess this just leaves taxes... 1.5859 0.02530 896 519 229 148
119 It's his happy place. 1.5853 0.02848 692 397 185 110
120 All we have to worry about now are taxes 1.5848 0.02445 879 489 266 124
121 His job finally caught up with him! 1.5845 0.02409 876 480 280 116
122 Since Death can't part us anymore, I'm calling my lawyer. 1.5836 0.02588 867 507 214 146
123 At least he went doing what he really loved. 1.5835 0.03029 581 326 171 84
124 Why couldn't it have been "Taxes"? 1.5830 0.02586 861 502 216 143
125 The only certain thing now is taxes. 1.5828 0.02551 858 493 230 135
126 He touched so many 1.5826 0.02590 853 496 217 140
127 Well, you reap what you reap. 1.5810 0.02506 840 471 250 119
128 Well, at least he died doing what he loved 1.5803 0.02576 834 479 226 129
129 Well it's official. Keith Richards is going to live forever. 1.5794 0.02604 825 477 218 130
130 Well he died doing what he loved 1.5794 0.02559 825 469 234 122
131 And to think just yesterday he was alive and reaping. 1.5791 0.02528 803 446 249 108
132 Somehow I never imagined the mustache. 1.5776 0.02650 805 469 207 129
133 Who’s gonna run Breitbart now? 1.5770 0.02737 792 473 181 138
134 Now I guess taxes are the only sure thing. 1.5768 0.02643 801 465 210 126
135 Just taxes, then? 1.5764 0.02662 798 466 204 128
136 I hear he took his own life. 1.5761 0.02610 795 455 222 118
137 Well I guess that leaves only taxes. 1.5751 0.02695 786 462 196 128
138 Whatever you do, don't sign the guest book. 1.5740 0.02785 716 416 189 111
139 I’m so glad we didn’t get to see him before he passed. 1.5739 0.02748 758 447 187 124
140 I guess that leaves taxes. 1.5731 0.02731 773 458 187 128
141 He brought this upon himself. 1.5724 0.02705 760 443 199 118
142 I would have expected a bigger turnout, considering all the lives he touched. 1.5716 0.02715 754 440 197 117
143 Talk about ironic...he choked on a lifesaver. 1.5699 0.02846 730 440 164 126
144 Well, I guess now it's just taxes. 1.5691 0.02796 731 434 178 119
145 It does seem a little redundant. 1.5689 0.02702 733 422 205 106
146 Life won’t be the same without him 1.5687 0.02617 728 406 230 92
147 So I said “no, after you.” Who thought he’d listen? 1.5668 0.02650 711 398 223 90
148 " I guess that only leaves taxes". 1.5662 0.02841 710 424 170 116
149 Is it ironic or a paradox? I get those mixed up. 1.5657 0.02712 700 398 208 94
150 Technically, he took his own life. 1.5648 0.02776 694 402 192 100
151 Oh, that's just great! Now we'll NEVER get Mitch McConnell out of the senate! 1.5646 0.02977 650 390 153 107
152 We are going to need a lot more for retirement than we planned. 1.5640 0.02847 688 407 174 107
153 Well, all that's left now would be taxes. 1.5640 0.02772 688 397 194 97
154 I guess it's just taxes now. 1.5632 0.02851 680 401 175 104
155 I forget. Is this ironic or paradoxical? Either way it's funny as hell. 1.5623 0.02761 674 385 199 90
156 It should've been taxes. 1.5601 0.02961 657 397 152 108
157 Never bring a scythe to a gun fight. 1.5601 0.02977 657 399 148 110
158 Trumpcare. 1.5595 0.02965 647 389 154 104
159 He was wonderful in that Swedish movie. 1.5586 0.03130 580 349 138 93
160 He died doing what he loved. 1.5585 0.02971 650 393 151 106
161 So that leaves just taxes, right? 1.5580 0.02917 647 384 165 98
162 Relax, it's his loser brother - The Grim Sleeper. 1.5573 0.02961 637 381 157 99
163 Mercy, we really are older than death. 1.5552 0.03084 589 354 143 92
164 That's the last coffin we'll ever sell. 1.5550 0.02895 627 366 174 87
165 Great. Now the only sure thing is taxes. 1.5548 0.02955 620 367 162 91
166 I’m going to miss the obituaries. 1.5547 0.02912 622 364 171 87
167 Well, he certainly had it coming. 1.5545 0.03100 532 307 155 70
168 My goodness Harold, I think I finally understand situational irony. 1.5534 0.02945 618 365 164 89
169 I didn’t think it would kill him to be nice for once. 1.5522 0.03029 603 362 149 92
170 I guess after the death of irony, this was predictable. 1.5521 0.02920 605 352 172 81
171 So, now it's just taxes. 1.5521 0.03022 605 363 150 92
172 They did a great job. He looks so dead. 1.5515 0.03070 602 366 140 96
173 So I guess it's only Taxes. 1.5507 0.02991 601 357 157 87
174 Worked himself to death, did he? 1.5499 0.02973 591 347 163 81
175 Who knew he had a peanut allergy. 1.5499 0.03040 591 354 149 88
176 Well, this leaves only taxes. 1.5499 0.03050 591 355 147 89
177 I'm sorry to say it, but he looks like Death warmed over. 1.5495 0.02973 586 343 164 79
178 Not too close, he may be bluffing. 1.5492 0.02919 590 341 174 75
179 I'm certain we'll still have to pay our taxes. 1.5481 0.02909 582 334 177 71
180 I bet he had a lot of skeletons in his closet. 1.5472 0.03075 561 333 149 79
181 If only he had been carrying a gun 1.5472 0.03216 572 357 117 98
182 I guess we're stuck with your mother. 1.5472 0.03129 572 348 135 89
183 His job finally caught up with him! 1.5464 0.03023 571 337 156 78
184 He was always dressed to kill 1.5464 0.03034 571 338 154 79
185 I guess the only thing we can count on now is taxes. 1.5464 0.03163 571 351 128 92
186 Life just won't be the same without him. 1.5456 0.03077 548 323 151 74
187 Well, I guess we should have saved more money for retirement. It looks like we’re gonna be here awhile. 1.5448 0.02872 558 313 186 59
188 He touched so many lives. 1.5440 0.03175 557 341 129 87
189 It's always the one you least expect to go. 1.5437 0.02992 561 327 163 71
190 I always thought taxes would go first. 1.5435 0.03114 552 331 142 79
191 Well, I guess that leaves us with taxes. 1.5430 0.03093 547 325 147 75
192 Does Taxes know? 1.5423 0.03139 544 327 139 78
193 I told him that job was a dead end. 1.5417 0.03071 504 288 159 57
194 Florida is going to get crowded 1.5414 0.03186 543 331 130 82
195 Well dear, so much for death do us part. 1.5409 0.03077 538 317 151 70
196 Nap time is over. Now, go get us some customers. 1.5409 0.03284 538 336 113 89
197 Turns out, he had a peanut allergy. 1.5406 0.03296 529 329 114 86
198 Why an open casket? He looks like hell. 1.5403 0.03244 533 328 122 83
199 Now who's going to put me out of my misery? 1.5402 0.03163 498 291 145 62
200 What are the odds? He died on April 15th. 1.5399 0.03173 539 327 133 79
201 So sad. He touched so many lives. 1.5395 0.03070 532 312 153 67
202 They''ll miss him down at the senior center. 1.5388 0.03129 529 315 143 71
203 I hate to say it, but he had it coming. 1.5385 0.03223 533 327 125 81
204 At least he went doing what he loved 1.5381 0.03206 459 263 145 51
205 He shouldn't have gone after Keith Richards. 1.5345 0.03305 507 313 117 77
206 Even in death, he looks like Death. 1.5323 0.03301 496 304 120 72
207 So now how much money do we need for retirement? 1.5322 0.03258 466 275 134 57
208 I thought taxes would go first. 1.5309 0.03263 486 293 128 65
209 I must've warned him a million times, "You're gonna reap what you sow honey." 1.5307 0.03135 488 285 147 56
210 I wonder who came for him. 1.5305 0.03284 492 300 123 69
211 He had all of our lives ahead of him. 1.5300 0.03331 483 296 118 69
212 I have to say... I'm feeling a lot more optimistic about our golden years. 1.5299 0.03243 485 291 131 63
213 There were so many more people that we should have introduced him to 1.5299 0.03346 485 299 115 71
214 Well Gene, it looks like we're stuck with each other forever. 1.5292 0.03268 480 289 128 63
215 Apparently you also reap what you reap. 1.5285 0.03345 473 289 118 66
216 I heard he wanted 'over my dead body' on his headstone. 1.5279 0.03129 466 268 150 48
217 No one ever thinks it can happen to them. 1.5275 0.03404 472 293 109 70
218 I heard it was sickle cell 1.5275 0.03324 472 287 121 64
219 If someone had to go, why couldn't it be taxes? 1.5275 0.03364 472 290 115 67
220 What will The New Yorker cartoonists do without him? 1.5275 0.03311 472 286 123 63
221 I used to flirt with him. 1.5268 0.03324 467 283 122 62
222 Not to sound disrespectful, but he had it coming. 1.5258 0.03259 466 278 131 57
223 He finally found himself. 1.5258 0.03438 466 291 105 70
224 He doesn't look as grim as I imagined. 1.5251 0.03026 459 257 163 39
225 He wanted me to come with him. I told him to go to hell. 1.5251 0.03354 459 279 119 61
226 At least he died doing something he believed in. 1.5249 0.03357 461 281 118 62
227 He reaped what he sowed. 1.5249 0.03385 461 283 114 64
228 He’s got only himself to blame for this. 1.5240 0.03416 458 283 110 65
229 I understand he left 7 billion survivors. 1.5240 0.03214 458 269 138 51
230 Well, we'll always have taxes. 1.5233 0.03428 451 278 110 63
231 My favorite memory was when he took your Aunt Bertha. 1.5232 0.03501 453 285 99 69
232 We should have gone for the reverse mortgage. 1.5231 0.03319 455 274 124 57
233 I guess the only certainty now is taxes. 1.5224 0.03530 446 281 97 68
234 At least Irony's still alive. 1.5216 0.03440 439 269 111 59
235 You know what this means...We'll outlive our savings. 1.5205 0.03385 438 265 118 55
236 Definitely an inside job. 1.5204 0.03482 442 275 104 63
237 Ironically, he didn't have life insurance. 1.5201 0.03856 323 192 94 37
238 Say what you will about him, but he practiced what he preached. 1.5195 0.03525 435 272 100 63
239 Well, this can't be a good sign for the funeral business. 1.5195 0.03555 435 274 96 65
240 It seems like only yesterday I was at his door. 1.5195 0.03276 435 256 132 47
241 Finally, the death of irony. 1.5195 0.03437 437 268 111 58
242 I’d rather it’d been taxes 1.5195 0.03437 437 268 111 58
243 At least one thing is certain . . . taxes. 1.5194 0.03410 439 268 114 57
244 Look, he's still wearing his NRA pin. 1.5186 0.03602 430 273 91 66
245 I always thought that he'd be there for us in our old age. 1.5186 0.03320 430 255 127 48
246 If it weren't 2018, this would be pretty surprising. 1.5183 0.03489 436 271 104 61
247 He was offered a White House position. 1.5179 0.03549 419 260 101 58
248 Quit complaining. Its the last one we have to attend.... 1.5175 0.03310 429 254 128 47
249 Reaping is now done by smart phone, he couldn't adapt. 1.5164 0.03376 426 256 120 50
250 I mean, he must have seen it coming... 1.5155 0.03549 419 261 100 58
251 Pity, he had so much death left in him. 1.5155 0.03452 419 255 112 52
252 Well, this looks grim. 1.5154 0.03406 421 254 117 50
253 I suppose this just leaves taxes. 1.5154 0.03600 421 266 93 62
254 They say it was self-inflicted. 1.5145 0.03500 414 254 107 53
255 This certainly opens an existential can of worms. 1.5134 0.03515 409 251 106 52
256 You were right...in this economy theres no such thing as job security. 1.5134 0.03536 411 254 103 54
257 Putin considered him a threat. 1.5134 0.03619 411 259 93 59
258 My best memory of him was … well, right now 1.5123 0.03376 406 241 122 43
259 Well, I don't really know. Why ARE we grieving? 1.5122 0.03475 410 250 110 50
260 I guess this means we can smoke. 1.5112 0.03537 403 248 104 51
261 He worked himself to, well, you know. 1.5109 0.04994 184 109 56 19
262 So, now it's just taxes. 1.5101 0.03761 398 257 79 62
263 I can never tell, is this irony or poetic justice? 1.5101 0.03624 398 249 95 54
264 Seriously? Tide Pod? 1.5101 0.03693 398 253 87 58
265 Karma. 1.5100 0.03596 402 251 97 54
266 They say he died doing what he loved 1.5100 0.03526 402 247 105 50
267 I'm not surprised. He looked like death. 1.5100 0.03561 402 249 101 52
268 Somehow I thought we’d be first. 1.5089 0.03482 395 239 111 45
269 Can't say I'm surprised. He always looked like death. 1.5089 0.03464 395 238 113 44
270 That just leaves taxes I guess 1.5089 0.03627 395 247 95 53
271 Poor guy - those New Yorker cartoonists worked him to death 1.5088 0.03648 397 250 92 55
272 I guess this means I'll never be rid of your mother. 1.5088 0.03717 397 254 84 59
273 Did they have to make him look so grim? 1.5076 0.03562 394 243 102 49
274 Poor guy worked himself to death. 1.5076 0.03526 394 241 106 47
275 I guess this means I can start eating red meat again? 1.5065 0.03406 383 226 120 37
276 If this is who I think it is, we can cancel our insurance. 1.5065 0.03625 385 239 97 49
277 I can do it myself, he always used to say. 1.5065 0.03536 387 236 106 45
278 First "God is dead" and now this! 1.5065 0.03684 387 244 90 53
279 I’ll bet he never saw this coming. 1.5064 0.03522 389 237 107 45
280 First it was, "God is dead." Now look. 1.5064 0.03633 389 243 95 51
281 Well, I guess we're stuck with each other for a while. 1.5064 0.03484 389 235 111 43
282 He kept working right up until the end. 1.5064 0.03587 393 244 99 50
283 That's what you get for training your own replacement. 1.5052 0.03608 382 236 99 47
284 Get up, you're not fooling anyone. 1.5052 0.03739 382 243 85 54
285 He looks like hell. 1.5052 0.03669 384 241 92 51
286 You say ironic, I say redundant. 1.5052 0.03446 386 231 115 40
287 Any idea who did it? 1.5040 0.03721 377 238 88 51
288 I'm not sure what it means - but I think we'd better sign up for long term care insurance... 1.5040 0.03506 377 227 110 40
289 There's still taxes. 1.5040 0.03780 379 243 81 55
290 It was just too much for him when hell froze over. 1.5039 0.03710 381 241 88 52
291 You can't count on anything anymore. 1.5027 0.03527 374 226 108 40
292 Well, there goes our funeral business. 1.5027 0.03666 374 233 94 47
293 What's next...taxes? 1.5027 0.03763 374 238 84 52
294 Whatever you do, don't sign the guest book. 1.5027 0.03686 374 234 92 48
295 Looks like you're stuck with me now, Arthur 1.5027 0.03612 376 232 99 45
296 I know you’re not supposed to say it, but he really brought this on himself. 1.5013 0.03843 371 240 76 55
297 I hate wakes. It's like staring at death in the face. 1.5013 0.03554 373 227 105 41
298 He just couldn't find work-life balance. 1.5013 0.03566 377 231 103 43
299 That job would kill anyone. 1.5000 0.03762 364 230 86 48
300 Does this mean we're stuck here? 1.5000 0.03610 368 226 100 42
301 So much reaping and so little to sow for it. 1.5000 0.03782 364 231 84 49
302 You know, maybe I will go on that skydiving thing next week after all. 1.4986 0.03597 367 225 101 41
303 Let's hold off on mailing our tax returns. 1.4986 0.03662 361 223 96 42
304 The ironic part is that he died in the Living Room 1.4986 0.03781 359 227 85 47
305 He would have liked the irony. 1.4958 0.03621 355 217 100 38
306 I don't know about you, but I was kind of counting on "...till death do us part." 1.4957 0.03651 351 215 98 38
307 I assumed he was exempt. 1.4957 0.03717 351 218 92 41
308 Talk about ironic...he choked to death on a lifesaver. 1.4943 0.03897 350 226 75 49
309 You would think he'd seen it coming. 1.4928 0.03815 347 220 83 44
310 Let's just see what happens if we don't pay our taxes this year. 1.4928 0.03810 345 218 84 43
311 It may be a trick....you poke him. 1.4927 0.03804 343 216 85 42
312 I hope this means we can start smoking again 1.4912 0.03675 342 210 96 36
313 Even the Grim Reaper has left the White House. 1.4912 0.04009 342 225 66 51
314 He only has himself to blame. 1.4912 0.03744 342 213 90 39
315 He shouldn't have brought a scythe to a gun fight. 1.4912 0.03966 342 223 70 49
316 Well, this certainly changes our retirement plan. 1.4911 0.03753 338 210 90 38
317 Looks like we're stuck with your mother. 1.4911 0.03869 338 215 80 43
318 His last words were "I can't take another day of Trump". 1.4896 0.04011 337 221 67 49
319 Your father and I are concerned that this "goth thing" is getting a little out of hand, dear. 1.4896 0.04008 335 219 68 48
320 Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it! 1.4896 0.03940 335 216 74 45
321 Coroner said it was work-related. 1.4895 0.03795 333 208 87 38
322 I liked him in that Ingmar Bergman film. 1.4895 0.03842 333 210 83 40
323 Well, at least irony isn't dead. 1.4895 0.03819 333 209 85 39
324 They ruled it a suicide. 1.4895 0.03958 333 215 73 45
325 Apparently bested in an encounter with someone named Keith Richards. 1.4895 0.03889 333 212 79 42
326 Now I am convinced that Keith Richards will live forever. 1.4879 0.03985 330 214 71 45
327 At least he saw it coming. 1.4879 0.03844 330 208 83 39
328 Of course it's sad, but he died doing what he loved. 1.4879 0.03844 330 208 83 39
329 You think it'll never happen to you. 1.4879 0.03747 330 204 91 35
330 My guess is that he finally reaped what he sowed. 1.4878 0.03886 328 208 80 40
331 I guess that just leaves Taxes. 1.4878 0.03813 328 205 86 37
332 The Russians deny poisoning him. 1.4877 0.03946 324 207 76 41
333 I guess now it’s just taxes. 1.4865 0.03958 333 216 72 45
334 Ok, now I feel old. 1.4862 0.03822 327 205 85 37
335 He was someone you could always count on. 1.4862 0.03688 325 198 96 31
336 Our last customer. Looks like we're finally out of business. 1.4862 0.03839 325 204 84 37
337 I always thought I'd go before he did. 1.4862 0.03814 325 203 86 36
338 Cancel the life insurance. 1.4862 0.03888 325 206 80 39
339 Well, what do you know? Irony IS dead. 1.4861 0.03955 323 207 75 41
340 I guess I picked the wrong time to open a funeral home. 1.4861 0.03931 323 206 77 40
341 I told him he should've forwarded that chain letter. 1.4861 0.03832 323 202 85 36
342 You think he knew it was coming? 1.4861 0.03955 323 207 75 41
343 What goes around comes around. 1.4861 0.03806 323 201 87 35
344 I’ve never been this close to death before. 1.4861 0.03704 323 197 95 31
345 I always said he was working himself to death. 1.4845 0.03915 322 205 78 39
346 So then just taxes? 1.4844 0.04080 320 210 65 45
347 His obituary said we should make donations directly to the NRA. 1.4844 0.04198 320 215 55 50
348 This is going to tank Social Security. 1.4844 0.03832 320 200 85 35
349 His job finally got to him. 1.4844 0.04032 320 208 69 43
350 horrible job. why did they make him look so grim 1.4844 0.03807 320 199 87 34
351 He looks so life-like. They did a terrible job. 1.4843 0.04051 318 207 68 43
352 "You'll work yourself to death," I said. "Stop being ironic," he said. 1.4843 0.03665 318 192 98 28
353 Now the only thing certain is taxes. 1.4843 0.04026 318 206 70 42
354 Well, it looks like irony is alive and kicking. 1.4825 0.03954 315 201 76 38
355 He never should have taken that White House Communications Director job. He had a perfectly good career. 1.4824 0.04050 313 203 69 41
356 Now what happens to that "until death do us part" clause? 1.4824 0.03706 313 190 95 28
357 It was him or us, dear. 1.4810 0.03970 316 203 74 39
358 Great, now how are we gonna get rid of your mother? 1.4809 0.03963 314 201 75 38
359 Well, honey, ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ is no longer on the table, let’s get a divorce 1.4809 0.03912 314 199 79 36
360 Well, I guess that only leaves Taxes. 1.4806 0.04028 310 200 71 39
361 Now aren't you glad we went for the lifetime annuity? 1.4806 0.03869 310 194 83 33
362 I hope taxes are next. 1.4806 0.04205 310 207 57 46
363 I'm having a near death experience. 1.4803 0.03952 304 192 78 34
364 I heard the funeral director's retiring after this. 1.4790 0.03740 309 189 92 28
365 Let's hear it for the Second Amendment. 1.4790 0.04190 309 206 58 45
366 Don't gloat—the new guy might be worse. 1.4790 0.03878 309 194 82 33
367 Poor bastard, worked himself to death. 1.4790 0.03768 309 190 90 29
368 I guess now all we can count on is taxes. 1.4790 0.03985 309 198 74 37
369 What's with the high heels? 1.4785 0.04150 303 199 63 41
370 It's what he always wanted. 1.4774 0.03975 310 199 74 37
371 Well that’s a bit redundant, don’t you think? 1.4771 0.03878 306 192 82 32
372 I never expected him to go first. 1.4770 0.03840 304 189 85 30
373 So much for "'Til death do us part" 1.4770 0.03868 304 190 83 31
374 He never truly lived. 1.4770 0.03783 304 187 89 28
375 Sigh, I guess he reaped what he sowed. 1.4770 0.03896 304 191 81 32
376 So sad. Who will play Bannon now? 1.4770 0.04192 304 202 59 43
377 They ruled it a suicide. 1.4770 0.03952 304 193 77 34
378 This is a game changer. 1.4767 0.03990 300 191 75 34
379 I heard it was a murder-suicide. 1.4767 0.03962 300 190 77 33
380 So he finally did reap what he sowed. 1.4767 0.04073 300 194 69 37
381 Oh well, what goes around comes around. 1.4749 0.03972 299 190 76 33
382 It almost looks like he's just reaping. 1.4749 0.04192 299 198 60 41
383 You can get up now. They’re not gonna ban assault weapons. 1.4749 0.04083 299 194 68 37
384 At least he died doing something he loved. 1.4749 0.04111 299 195 66 38
385 That just leaves taxes. 1.4749 0.04138 299 196 64 39
386 I warned him not to go after Keith Richards. 1.4746 0.04125 295 192 66 37
387 He says it "gets him in the zone" 1.4746 0.04040 295 189 72 34
388 That reminds me, our taxes are due. 1.4746 0.04097 295 191 68 36
389 I think the irony was lost on him. 1.4730 0.04169 296 195 62 39
390 Does this mean I'm stuck with you forever? 1.4728 0.04078 294 190 69 35
391 Rats. It looks like your mother's going to be with us for quite a while. 1.4728 0.04135 294 192 65 37
392 So who came for HIM? 1.4728 0.03904 294 184 81 29
393 I always hoped taxes would be the first to go 1.4728 0.04163 294 193 63 38
394 What a year Murray--first a tax break, now this! 1.4728 0.04107 294 191 67 36
395 I told you all it took was a good guy with a gun. 1.4728 0.04107 294 191 67 36
396 Apparently you do reap what you sow. 1.4728 0.04050 294 189 71 34
397 That 401(k) money is going to have to last us a lot longer than we thought. 1.4728 0.04021 294 188 73 33
398 If this means we're going to live forever, I want a divorce. 1.4728 0.04191 294 194 61 39
399 Karma. 1.4728 0.04021 294 188 73 33
400 Well, you reap what you reap. 1.4728 0.04078 294 190 69 35
401 Even he didn’t see himself coming! 1.4726 0.04099 292 189 68 35
402 He loved his job, but he worked himself to death. 1.4724 0.04032 290 185 73 32
403 Now we'll never get off the wait list for senior housing. 1.4706 0.04273 289 193 56 40
404 Thank God. The New Yorker can't exploit him anymore. 1.4700 0.04196 283 185 63 35
405 He had so much left to take. 1.4700 0.04136 283 183 67 33
406 He was so full of death. 1.4700 0.04255 283 187 59 37
407 They should have done a closed casket, he looks like death! 1.4700 0.04284 283 188 57 38
408 Apparently the only thing certain in life now is taxes. 1.4700 0.04136 283 183 67 33
409 They say he took his own life. 1.4700 0.04255 283 187 59 37
410 What do you mean, "you don't see the irony."? 1.4681 0.04176 282 184 64 34
411 I wonder if he saw it coming. 1.4679 0.03979 280 176 77 27
412 He used to say irony was dead. 1.4679 0.04137 280 181 67 32
413 He was watching Fox and Friends. 1.4679 0.04229 280 184 61 35
414 Once 'Saturday Night Live' compared him to Steve Bannon, his spirit wasn’t in it anymore. 1.4657 0.04293 277 184 57 36
415 He touched a lot of lives. 1.4657 0.04293 277 184 57 36
416 He died of supernatural causes. 1.4657 0.04201 277 181 63 33
417 Oh boy, I guess the only thing certain now is taxes. 1.4657 0.04232 277 182 61 34
418 He had a lasting impact on everyone he met. 1.4655 0.04192 275 179 64 32
419 If you're ever going to run with the bulls, now would be the time. 1.4652 0.04183 273 177 65 31
420 I told him he was messing with the wrong old lady. 1.4652 0.04183 273 177 65 31
421 That’s a tough way to meet your quota! 1.4652 0.04052 273 173 73 27
422 Logistically, this is a nightmare. 1.4647 0.04294 269 177 59 33
423 Does this mean I'm stuck with you for eternity? 1.4632 0.04383 272 183 52 37
424 You never think it can happen to you... 1.4632 0.04258 272 179 60 33
425 Well this is certainly a game changer. 1.4630 0.04217 270 176 63 31
426 You know, I think death becomes him. 1.4630 0.03981 270 169 77 24
427 That'll teach you to skulk around our retirement home. 1.4630 0.04439 270 183 49 38
428 Life just won't be the same without him. 1.4630 0.04313 270 179 57 34
429 He will be missed by cartoonists. 1.4627 0.03967 268 167 78 23
430 The only thing for certain now is taxes. 1.4627 0.04465 268 182 48 38
431 It's been a rough year for everyone. 1.4627 0.04273 268 176 60 32
432 You're not fooling anyone. 1.4627 0.04207 268 174 64 30
433 how was I supposed to know he was allergic to peanuts?? 1.4613 0.04457 271 185 47 39
434 I think it's safe to start drinking again. 1.4613 0.04072 271 173 71 27
435 Who's grim now? 1.4610 0.04094 269 172 70 27
436 This IS a bad flu season. 1.4607 0.04317 267 177 57 33
437 You're not fooling anyone. 1.4604 0.04241 265 173 62 30
438 Now all we have to worry about are taxes. 1.4604 0.04275 265 174 60 31
439 Let's go skydiving after all. 1.4601 0.04231 263 171 63 29
440 It becomes him. 1.4601 0.04299 263 173 59 31
441 Ain’t payback a bitch. 1.4601 0.04196 263 170 65 28
442 Well, at least irony isn't dead. 1.4601 0.04161 263 169 67 27
443 I'll be going on the bacon and ice cream diet. What about you? 1.4590 0.04138 268 173 67 28
444 Make sure they lock the casket. 1.4586 0.04127 266 171 68 27
445 Well, there's a job opening. I heard they're working with a skeleton crew. 1.4583 0.04319 264 175 57 32
446 I heard it was sickle cell 1.4583 0.04578 264 183 41 40
447 I hear it was the Russians. 1.4580 0.04102 262 167 70 25
448 The worst part about it is that he never really lived. 1.4577 0.04470 260 176 49 35
449 Yes, we're sure it's 'comfy', but could you show us something less pricey. 1.4577 0.04231 260 169 63 28
450 Oh, damn. Why couldn't it have been taxes? 1.4577 0.04196 260 168 65 27
451 I always knew his work would catch up with him. 1.4574 0.04147 258 165 68 25
452 I hope he’s an only child. 1.4574 0.04394 258 172 54 32
453 Death runs in his family 1.4574 0.04360 258 171 56 31
454 You think this will lower premiums? 1.4574 0.04110 258 164 70 24
455 He really should have seen this one coming. 1.4574 0.04462 258 174 50 34
456 I guess the only thing certain now are Taxes! 1.4574 0.04360 258 171 56 31
457 He let himself go. 1.4574 0.04147 258 165 68 25
458 If this doesn't bankrupt Social Security, nothing will. 1.4574 0.04183 258 166 66 26
459 I guess you could say it’s death imitating art. 1.4559 0.04322 261 173 57 31
460 He was doing OK until the grimmer reaper came to visit. 1.4553 0.04266 257 168 61 28
461 Well now I'm only certain about taxes. 1.4553 0.04266 257 168 61 28
462 That seems redundant. 1.4553 0.04406 257 172 53 32
463 He brought it upon himeslf 1.4545 0.04528 253 172 47 34
464 He should have seen this coming 1.4545 0.04423 253 169 53 31
465 I bet that was a surprise. 1.4545 0.04352 253 167 57 29
466 The mandatory retirement rules are really getting strict. 1.4545 0.04242 253 164 63 26
467 Who knew he had orange hair? 1.4545 0.04458 253 170 51 32
468 I'm guessing he would have seen the irony in this. 1.4545 0.04242 253 164 63 26
469 I heard it was self-inflicted. 1.4545 0.04279 253 165 61 27
470 Yeah, but we still have taxes. 1.4545 0.04458 253 170 51 32
471 It’s importat to remember he died doing what he loved. 1.4545 0.04205 253 163 65 25
472 They say he never saw it coming. 1.4545 0.04242 253 164 63 26
473 I knew that job would end up killing him. 1.4545 0.04167 253 162 67 24
474 Let's hope taxes are next. 1.4542 0.04485 251 169 50 32
475 I guess I can cancel that life insurance policy. 1.4542 0.04075 251 158 72 21
476 The flu season was much worse than I thought. 1.4542 0.04304 251 164 60 27
477 I told you he looked like death when I last saw him. 1.4524 0.04253 252 164 62 26
478 Think we should still pay our taxes? 1.4524 0.04435 252 169 52 31
479 Well, let's hope taxes go next. 1.4520 0.04240 250 162 63 25
480 You never think it'll happen to you. 1.4520 0.04389 250 166 55 29
481 Worst flu season ever. 1.4520 0.04426 250 167 53 30
482 Ya reap what ya sow. 1.4516 0.04265 248 161 62 25
483 I told him not to take his work home with him 1.4516 0.04378 248 164 56 28
484 He touched a lot of people. 1.4516 0.04226 248 160 64 24
485 So I’m thinking that our reverse mortgage was a bad idea. 1.4516 0.04303 248 162 60 26
486 He was his own worst enemy. 1.4512 0.04479 246 165 51 30
487 It was sickle cell. 1.4512 0.04589 246 168 45 33
488 He never saw himself coming. 1.4512 0.04404 246 163 55 28
489 Think he'll Make Hell Great Again? 1.4512 0.04404 246 163 55 28
490 I guess that just leaves Taxes. 1.4512 0.04442 246 164 53 29
491 ‘Well, I guess you really do reap what you sow’ 1.4512 0.04442 246 164 53 29
492 Oh god, does this mean your mother is going to live forever? 1.4512 0.04404 246 163 55 28
493 I never had a chance to meet him. 1.4512 0.04212 246 158 65 23
494 He looks so peaceful...Death really becomes him. 1.4502 0.04339 251 166 57 28
495 This still leaves taxes 1.4502 0.04265 251 164 61 26
496 I'd have preferred if it was taxes. 1.4502 0.04375 251 167 55 29
497 All that's left now is taxes. 1.4502 0.04726 251 177 35 39
498 I hear his replacement looks like "death warmed over". 1.4490 0.04102 245 155 70 20
499 How long do we have to stay married now, Henry? 1.4490 0.04417 245 163 54 28
500 I never knew he wore glasses. 1.4490 0.04379 245 162 56 27
501 They say it was his job that killed him. 1.4490 0.04302 245 160 60 25
502 And I thought you had a dead end job 1.4490 0.04602 245 168 44 33
503 Never saw him eat a salad. 1.4481 0.04432 241 160 54 27
504 It’s the actuaries I really feel sorry for. 1.4481 0.04353 241 158 58 25
505 I guess it was a good thing we forgot to clear the ice from our front steps. 1.4477 0.04498 239 160 51 28
506 Now, THIS is what they mean by "died unexpectedly". 1.4477 0.04298 239 155 61 23
507 Does this mean we have to stay married forever? 1.4477 0.04614 239 163 45 31
508 He brought this upon himself. 1.4477 0.04339 239 156 59 24
509 I always get him and Father Time mixed up. 1.4477 0.04339 239 156 59 24
510 I'm going to have a cigarette. 1.4459 0.04534 222 146 53 23
511 I know it should make me question the existential ramifications for the concept of mortality, but mostly I'm just waiting for them to bring out the hors d'oeuvres. 1.4454 0.04392 238 157 56 25
512 'Well, Herb, I guess we can ease back on the bucket list.' 1.4454 0.04351 238 156 58 24
513 One down, Taxes to go. 1.4454 0.04589 238 162 46 30
514 They say if Wayne LaPierre kisses him he'll wake up. 1.4449 0.04657 236 162 43 31
515 I always thought we'd go before him. 1.4449 0.04336 236 154 59 23
516 What an oxymoron. 1.4449 0.04419 236 156 55 25
517 So who’s going to come after your mother now? 1.4449 0.04459 236 157 53 26
518 Now the only certain thing is taxes. 1.4449 0.04579 236 160 47 29
519 The police ruled it a suicide. 1.4449 0.04657 236 162 43 31
520 He went down swinging. 1.4444 0.04363 234 153 58 23
521 Until now our marriage only seemed endless. 1.4444 0.04446 234 155 54 25
522 Seems redundant, don’t you think. 1.4444 0.04487 234 156 52 26
523 He heaved a scythe, and then he was gone. 1.4444 0.04687 234 161 42 31
524 Well, I guess you reap what you reap. 1.4444 0.04648 234 160 44 30
525 I guess the only thing certain now are Taxes! 1.4444 0.04363 234 153 58 23
526 Well, we've still got taxes. 1.4444 0.04405 234 154 56 24
527 Well, we still have taxes. 1.4444 0.04446 234 155 54 25
528 Does this make us grim weepers? 1.4444 0.04528 234 157 50 27
529 It seems kind of redundant. 1.4444 0.04405 234 154 56 24
530 He looks as dead as he did when he was alive. 1.4444 0.04528 234 157 50 27
531 Oh well, I guess that will be our last customer. 1.4444 0.04405 234 154 56 24
532 Karma's a bitch. 1.4444 0.04648 234 160 44 30
533 I never appreciated irony before. 1.4444 0.04446 234 155 54 25
534 The job just gets to you in the end, I guess! 1.4444 0.04278 234 151 62 21
535 Call it Karma. 1.4440 0.04390 241 160 55 26
536 You never think it's going to be you. 1.4440 0.04515 232 155 51 26
537 Well, I guess we only have to worry about Taxes now. 1.4440 0.04678 232 159 43 30
538 He seemed like an “always the reaper, never the reaped” kind of guy. 1.4440 0.04347 232 151 59 22
539 Work got the better of him. 1.4440 0.04432 232 153 55 24
540 I imagine he brought it upon himself. 1.4440 0.04304 232 150 61 21
541 I don't know dear. Is it irony or paradox? 1.4439 0.04603 205 133 53 19
542 I can see how comfortable it is, but do you have anything more in our price range? 1.4435 0.04417 239 159 54 26
543 Peaceful? He looks like death warmed over to me. 1.4435 0.04377 239 158 56 25
544 A bit self-serving, don’t you think? 1.4435 0.04043 239 150 72 17
545 I guess his work finally caught up with him. 1.4435 0.04337 239 157 58 24
546 And what was the cause of death? 1.4435 0.04417 239 159 54 26
547 Well, this is the last time I go to a funeral. 1.4435 0.04377 239 158 56 25
548 Well, of course it had to be a suicide. 1.4430 0.04196 237 152 65 20
549 They did such a great job. He looks every bit as dead as he did last time we saw him. 1.4430 0.04404 237 157 55 25
550 Looks like Trump scares the life out of everyone... 1.4421 0.04818 233 164 35 34
551 So how are we going to sell the rest of these caskets? 1.4421 0.04500 233 156 51 26
552 Well I guess its just taxes then. 1.4416 0.04359 231 151 58 22
553 Well, this leaves only taxes. 1.4410 0.04515 229 153 51 25
554 Your sister is such a drama queen. 1.4410 0.04599 229 155 47 27
555 On the other hand, I see an up side for us in this. 1.4410 0.04208 229 146 65 18
556 Worst flu season ever. 1.4410 0.04342 229 149 59 21
557 Serves him right. 1.4410 0.05143 195 135 34 26
558 He was a victim of his own success 1.4405 0.04587 227 153 48 26
559 He resigned? 1.4405 0.04414 227 149 56 22
560 Well, I'm still certain about taxes. 1.4405 0.04458 227 150 54 23
561 I guess only taxes are certain. 1.4405 0.04544 227 152 50 25
562 The NRA just lost their biggest fan. 1.4405 0.04835 227 159 36 32
563 He loved that outfit. 1.4405 0.04629 227 154 46 27
564 How do we know he's dead? 1.4386 0.04529 228 153 50 25
565 So, donuts for dinner? 1.4381 0.04769 226 157 39 30
566 I warned him. Live by the scythe; die by the scythe. 1.4381 0.04471 226 150 53 23
567 I never liked him. 1.4381 0.04558 226 152 49 25
568 So I wonder who came for him? 1.4375 0.04588 224 151 48 25
569 Now, nothing's certain but taxes. 1.4375 0.04842 224 157 36 31
570 Does this mean “Till Death Do Us Part” is off the table? 1.4375 0.04544 224 150 50 24
571 He always said this job would be the death of him. 1.4369 0.04618 222 150 47 25
572 Nice try, but you're not fooling the IRS. 1.4369 0.04529 222 148 51 23
573 OMG, Does this mean Trump is going to live forever? 1.4369 0.04875 222 156 35 31
574 Serves him right. 1.4369 0.04705 222 152 43 27
575 So are we like immortal now or what? 1.4369 0.04483 222 147 53 22
576 You live by the scythe, you die by the scythe. 1.4369 0.04391 222 145 57 20
577 We didn't know about the peanut allergy. 1.4369 0.04529 222 148 51 23
578 It turns out a scythe is no match for an AR-15. 1.4369 0.04791 222 154 39 29
579 That’s my Donny... Always dressed to kill! 1.4369 0.04529 222 148 51 23
580 They did a beautiful job. He looks so deathlike. 1.4369 0.04438 222 146 55 21
581 The scythe swings both ways. 1.4356 0.04484 225 150 52 23
582 I always told him, if he didn’t slow down he was going to work himself to death. 1.4350 0.04512 223 149 51 23
583 No, he's not dead - he's just on his Death bed. 1.4338 0.04617 219 148 47 24
584 Don't get too close... it could be a trap. 1.4338 0.04617 219 148 47 24
585 They're calling it a suicide. 1.4338 0.04572 219 147 49 23
586 And never took a holiday. 1.4338 0.04617 219 148 47 24
587 They say it was self-inflicted. 1.4338 0.04479 219 145 53 21
588 Poetic justice. 1.4338 0.04288 219 141 61 17
589 Seems a little self-indulgent. 1.4338 0.04707 219 150 43 26
590 Now there's just taxes 1.4338 0.04795 219 152 39 28
591 I'll tell you what this means Marge.... we can go back to eating whatever we want and drop our gym membership. 1.4338 0.04337 219 142 59 18
592 He took the early retirement package. 1.4332 0.04315 217 140 60 17
593 I'll tell you what this means, Efraim, we're stuck with each other for eternity. 1.4332 0.04873 217 152 36 29
594 "Let's buy a funeral home," you said. "Everyone needs a funeral," you said. Nice one, Harry... 1.4332 0.04556 217 145 50 22
595 Harold always did like dressing for the occasion. 1.4332 0.04873 217 152 36 29
596 He’s always been a do-it-yourselfer. 1.4332 0.04315 217 140 60 17
597 He let his job get to him. 1.4332 0.04694 217 148 44 25
598 Now if we could just do something about taxes. 1.4332 0.04694 217 148 44 25
599 I told you he wouldn't get through his first term. 1.4332 0.04739 217 149 42 26
600 What goes around comes around. 1.4332 0.04694 217 148 44 25
601 Life finally caught up with him. 1.4332 0.04739 217 149 42 26
602 You reap what you sow. Still pretty grim. 1.4332 0.04315 217 140 60 17
603 Well, it looks like he reaped what he reaped. 1.4332 0.04648 217 147 46 24
604 He brought it on himself. 1.4332 0.04739 217 149 42 26
605 How can you tell? 1.4327 0.04892 208 144 38 26
606 So, what - now it's just taxes? 1.4326 0.04772 215 148 41 26
607 Now the only thing certain left is taxes. 1.4326 0.04633 215 145 47 23
608 He wanted his funeral to be a celebration of death. 1.4326 0.04586 215 144 49 22
609 I think I will go skydiving after all. 1.4326 0.04586 215 144 49 22
610 The only certain thing left in the world now is taxes. 1.4326 0.04586 215 144 49 22
611 Now social security is really screwed. 1.4326 0.04490 215 142 53 20
612 He was always complaining that he looked like death. 1.4326 0.04539 215 143 51 21
613 He certainly lived death to the fullest. 1.4326 0.04586 215 144 49 22
614 He butt-dialed his own number by mistake. 1.4326 0.04726 215 147 43 25
615 His mother always told him not to run with that thing. 1.4326 0.04633 215 145 47 23
616 Thank you for not repairing that top step. 1.4326 0.04490 215 142 53 20
617 This is going to be a long marriage. 1.4319 0.04520 213 141 52 20
618 They really captured his joie de mort. 1.4319 0.04665 213 144 46 23
619 That was easier than I thought, Harold. Now onto the IRS... 1.4318 0.04734 220 152 41 27
620 Well at least he’ll know some people there. 1.4318 0.04463 220 146 53 21
621 This makes me question everything-beginning with our reverse mortgage. 1.4318 0.04690 220 151 43 26
622 He touched so many, I expected a bigger crowd. 1.4318 0.04821 220 154 37 29
623 This isn't going to help the Social Security funding deficit 1.4318 0.04601 220 149 47 24
624 It was either me or him, dear. 1.4318 0.04601 220 149 47 24
625 They did a great job, Death really becomes him. 1.4318 0.04601 220 149 47 24
626 I heard Corporate gave him the ax 1.4312 0.04349 218 142 58 18
627 If you think Florida is overpopulated now, just wait. 1.4312 0.04631 218 148 46 24
628 Maybe this will be his last New Yorker appearance. 1.4306 0.04569 216 145 49 22
629 I rarely say this, but death becomes him. 1.4300 0.04763 207 141 43 23
630 So, what parts us now? 1.4292 0.04679 212 144 45 23
631 This materially effects our retirement fund calculation. 1.4292 0.04583 212 142 49 21
632 I never liked him. 1.4292 0.04679 212 144 45 23
633 I always thought we would go first 1.4292 0.04484 212 140 53 19
634 I can’t believe none of the family showed up. 1.4292 0.04434 212 139 55 18
635 Do we still have to pay taxes? 1.4292 0.04583 212 142 49 21
636 Why couldn't he have died when we were in our prime? 1.4292 0.04534 212 141 51 20
637 He said the job was killing him. 1.4292 0.04383 212 138 57 17
638 Well I guess this leaves us with only taxes. 1.4292 0.04774 212 146 41 25
639 Let’s grab a pack of cigarettes on the way home. 1.4292 0.04679 212 144 45 23
640 He must have seen this coming. 1.4292 0.04085 219 138 68 13
641 First taxes, now him. 1.4286 0.04614 210 141 48 21
642 He was always his own worst enemy. 1.4286 0.04514 210 139 52 19
643 First funeral I’ve ever attended that made me contemplate my own immortality. 1.4286 0.04663 210 142 46 22
644 Now all we have to do is get rid of taxes. 1.4286 0.04712 210 143 44 23
645 We’re fucked. 1.4286 0.04854 210 146 38 26
646 Does this mean we can get the deposits back on our plots? 1.4286 0.04360 210 136 58 16
647 You sow. You reap. And in the end what does it get you? 1.4286 0.04564 210 140 50 20
648 Well, that just leaves taxes. 1.4286 0.04564 210 140 50 20
649 George, I don’t care what anyone says, I think death becomes him. 1.4286 0.04564 210 140 50 20
650 Grab the scythe and let's pay Taxes a visit. 1.4279 0.04983 208 147 33 28
651 He always said the job was killing him. 1.4279 0.04544 208 138 51 19
652 Is it too much to hope that taxes will be next? 1.4279 0.04595 208 139 49 20
653 Betty White challenged him to mortal combat. 1.4279 0.04744 208 142 43 23
654 Well this is grim. 1.4279 0.04841 208 144 39 25
655 You never think it'll happen to you. 1.4279 0.04646 208 140 47 21
656 They did a wonderful job - he doesn't look life-like at all! 1.4272 0.04614 213 144 47 22
657 I guess this means Keith Richards will live forever. 1.4272 0.04778 206 141 42 23
658 Social Security's definitely in trouble now! 1.4272 0.04678 206 139 46 21
659 I'm really not looking forward to seeing his family 1.4272 0.04575 206 137 50 19
660 The undertakers can't be happy about this development. 1.4272 0.04471 206 135 54 17
661 After the 2016 election we should have seen this coming. 1.4272 0.04728 206 140 44 22
662 Now I’m not so certain about taxes either. 1.4272 0.04309 206 132 60 14
663 Henry, if this means we’re going to live forever I’m going to kill myself. 1.4272 0.04827 206 142 40 24
664 Now what? Just taxes? 1.4272 0.04778 206 141 42 23
665 How will they ever keep a lid on this? 1.4272 0.04728 206 140 44 22
666 No Stan, I don’t think this means we’re off the hook. 1.4272 0.04728 206 140 44 22
667 I would have expected taxes to go first. 1.4272 0.04627 206 138 48 20
668 Gosh, you really do reap what you sow. 1.4272 0.04778 206 141 42 23
669 I guess we can cancel our life insurance. 1.4272 0.04254 206 131 62 13
670 He looks very lifelike 1.4265 0.04645 211 143 46 22
671 He always had a great sense of irony. 1.4251 0.04558 207 138 50 19
672 Makes you wonder who came for him? 1.4251 0.04506 207 137 52 18
673 I was really hoping Taxes would go first... 1.4236 0.04674 203 137 46 20
674 Does this mean we should have saved more for retirement? 1.4236 0.04878 203 141 38 24
675 Well, what did he expect, wearing a hoodie near the precinct house? 1.4236 0.04977 203 143 34 26
676 We should have saved more for retirement. 1.4236 0.04674 203 137 46 20
677 When you're in HR as long as he was, you're going to make enemies. 1.4236 0.04674 203 137 46 20
678 Normally I'm against suicide. 1.4236 0.04568 203 135 50 18
679 I thought he would outlive all of us! 1.4236 0.04725 203 138 44 21
680 Well, the only sure thing left is taxes. 1.4229 0.04759 201 137 43 21
681 I bet he didn't see it coming. 1.4229 0.04600 201 134 49 18
682 I'm just glad he went doing what he loved. 1.4223 0.04921 206 145 35 26
683 Its the new plan for cutting Medicare. 1.4223 0.04774 206 142 41 23
684 He was so full of life. You know, for Death. 1.4221 0.04465 199 130 54 15
685 No, what's ironic is that it's tax season too. 1.4221 0.04687 199 134 46 19
686 Once they got rid of taxes on the rich, this was inevitable. 1.4221 0.04846 199 137 40 22
687 That's Harry all right -- Always "dressed to kill." 1.4221 0.04521 199 131 52 16
688 I suppose this explains the new tax bill. 1.4221 0.04794 199 136 42 21
689 His obituary said he was preceded in death by everybody. 1.4221 0.04577 199 132 50 17
690 You promised us, "till death do us part"... Larry, I want a divorce. 1.4221 0.04687 199 134 46 19
691 I've heard he never took a holiday. 1.4221 0.04846 199 137 40 22
692 Hey -- you reap what you sow. 1.4203 0.04656 207 141 45 21
693 I'm hardly surprised. He looked like death the last time I saw him. 1.4200 0.05031 200 142 32 26
694 Don’t get up. We’re not staying. 1.4200 0.04774 200 137 42 21
695 He died as he lived. 1.4200 0.04774 200 137 42 21
696 So sad. Who will lead the alt-right now? 1.4197 0.05010 193 135 35 23
697 And they say that irony is dead. 1.4194 0.04979 186 128 38 20
698 How odd that he died while doing his taxes. 1.4192 0.04862 198 137 39 22
699 It was sickle cell. 1.4192 0.04966 198 139 35 24
700 Who knew that abolishing the NRA would have such an immediate effect on him. 1.4188 0.04882 191 131 40 20
701 They're saying it was self-inflicted. 1.4184 0.04623 196 131 48 17
702 I always thought he would be the last to go. 1.4184 0.04735 196 133 44 19
703 I told you it wouldn't fit. 1.4184 0.04735 196 133 44 19
704 Looks like Aunt Edna's going be living with us a long time, Frank! 1.4184 0.04566 196 130 50 16
705 He had his scythe, but I had a gun. 1.4184 0.04951 196 137 36 23
706 They say he never saw it coming. 1.4184 0.04898 196 136 38 22
707 Who knew your mother had a sense of humor? 1.4184 0.04735 196 133 44 19
708 Well this seems redundant. 1.4184 0.04566 196 130 50 16
709 I agree, Death becomes himself. 1.4175 0.04935 194 135 37 22
710 Yes, Robert, I'm pretty sure he saw it coming. 1.4175 0.04935 194 135 37 22
711 If you can't reap them, join them. 1.4175 0.04599 194 129 49 16
712 He ran into a good guy with a scythe. 1.4175 0.04989 194 136 35 23
713 Just goes to show that you reap what you sow. 1.4175 0.04935 194 135 37 22
714 Well, there is still taxes. 1.4175 0.04656 194 130 47 17
715 Irony is dead as well 1.4175 0.04599 194 129 49 16
716 Wow… That's what I call dedication! 1.4175 0.04599 194 129 49 16
717 Who knew Death was allergic to shellfish? 1.4175 0.05095 194 138 31 25
718 Maybe he didn’t meet his targets. 1.4175 0.04540 194 128 51 15
719 It was him or us. 1.4175 0.04880 194 134 39 21
720 So irony isn't dead after all. 1.4175 0.04713 194 131 45 18
721 I wonder if Mrs Death will remarry 1.4175 0.04825 194 133 41 20
722 Well that sucks. I was counting on that ‘death do us part’ thing. 1.4175 0.04770 194 132 43 19
723 Now I'm sure that smoking can kill anybody 1.4171 0.04682 199 135 45 19
724 It should've been taxes. 1.4171 0.04894 199 139 37 23
725 I just told the morticion to dress your mother according to her true personality. 1.4171 0.04894 199 139 37 23
726 They really did a nice job. He looks so natural and grim. 1.4171 0.04628 199 134 47 18
727 I told him to use the lawnmower instead of that damn scythe. 1.4171 0.04789 199 137 41 21
728 I guess what goes around, comes around. 1.4171 0.04403 199 130 55 14
729 Relax Gladys. It was him or us. 1.4167 0.04917 192 133 38 21
730 Now what?" "Well, I always wanted to try skydiving. 1.4167 0.04805 192 131 42 19
731 We'll always have taxes... 1.4167 0.04917 192 133 38 21
732 This does complicate our retirement planning. 1.4162 0.04716 197 134 44 19
733 Among so many achievements, bubonic plague was the standout for me. 1.4158 0.04898 190 131 39 20
734 I never liked his gallows humor. 1.4154 0.04694 195 132 45 18
735 He always said his work would be the death of him. 1.4154 0.04637 195 131 47 17
736 At his age, he should have gotten the flu shot. 1.4153 0.04728 183 122 46 15
737 I heard it was self-inflicted. 1.4136 0.04705 191 129 45 17
738 And we always thought he'd be the last to go. 1.4136 0.05044 191 135 33 23
739 Does this mean we're stuck with each other forever? 1.4136 0.04989 191 134 35 22
740 We warned him not wear a hoodie to a Trump rally. 1.4136 0.05205 191 138 27 26
741 He was always a do-it-yourselfer. 1.4136 0.04586 191 127 49 15
742 Does this mean we're going to be married forever? 1.4136 0.04933 191 133 37 21
743 Wish they’d wipe that grim off his face! 1.4136 0.04989 191 134 35 22
744 He always did dress to kill 1.4136 0.04820 191 131 41 19
745 They say he left no survivors. 1.4136 0.04586 191 127 49 15
746 Well, on the plus side, I guess we can cancel our life insurance. 1.4136 0.04705 191 129 45 17
747 On second thought, I do want a divorce. 1.4136 0.04877 191 132 39 20
748 Why couldn’t this have happened when I was still young? 1.4136 0.04763 191 130 43 18
749 I can't get over the redundancy. 1.4136 0.04646 191 128 47 16
750 So your mother died at a costume party? 1.4136 0.05044 191 135 33 23
751 I guess that’s a grim wrapper. 1.4136 0.04526 191 126 51 14
752 I suppose now we'll have to rely on the NRA. 1.4136 0.04933 191 133 37 21
753 He was denied life insurance because of a preexisting condition . 1.4136 0.04877 191 132 39 20
754 Hard to believe they could botch a hip replacement on him. 1.4136 0.04877 191 132 39 20
755 We better check the retirement account. I don't think we planned for this. 1.4136 0.04989 191 134 35 22
756 Now that you mention it, he does look rather grim. 1.4136 0.04586 191 127 49 15
757 They did a nice job, so death-like. 1.4136 0.04877 191 132 39 20
758 We’re gonna need a bigger retirement. 1.4136 0.04820 191 131 41 19
759 It's so sad, his work finally got the better of him, but still, what a legacy. 1.4127 0.04798 189 129 42 18
760 So ‘til when do us part, now? 1.4127 0.04914 189 131 38 20
761 Well isn't this just great. Who is going to come for Aunt Edna now? 1.4127 0.04619 189 126 48 15
762 It's part of his Customer Experience training. 1.4127 0.04798 189 129 42 18
763 Bet he never saw That coming. 1.4127 0.04914 189 131 38 20
764 Henry, I want a divorce. 1.4127 0.04914 189 131 38 20
765 He killed himself. 1.4127 0.04680 189 127 46 16
766 Great - what will we sit around waiting for now? 1.4118 0.04590 187 124 49 14
767 He seems to have worked himself to death. 1.4118 0.04527 187 123 51 13
768 Talk about double negatives! 1.4118 0.04952 187 130 37 20
769 He touched so many 1.4118 0.05010 187 131 35 21
770 Death really becomes him 1.4118 0.04775 187 127 43 17
771 He brought it on himself, you know. 1.4118 0.04952 187 130 37 20
772 So... this is life after Death? 1.4118 0.05010 187 131 35 21
773 When you said you had beaten death, I didn't think you meant literally 1.4118 0.04952 187 130 37 20
774 Do you think he saw it coming? 1.4118 0.04714 187 126 45 16
775 This comes as a complete surprise. But then again, he always did. 1.4118 0.04714 187 126 45 16
776 Well, whattaya know. He found a way out of his Mueller subpoena after all. 1.4118 0.05010 187 131 35 21
777 Well, that's the last casket we'll be selling for a while. 1.4118 0.04653 187 125 47 15
778 They did a good job, he looks so unnatural. 1.4118 0.04527 187 123 51 13
779 Melvin, stop being dramatic. So what, you're 50! Come back to your party or you'll give your mother a stroke. 1.4118 0.04952 187 130 37 20
780 Surprising he went with the open casket. 1.4118 0.04590 187 124 49 14
781 Taxes won in the end. 1.4118 0.04835 187 128 41 18
782 Wow. We're going to have way too much time on our hands. 1.4118 0.04714 187 126 45 16
783 Well, I guess this is the last funeral we'll ever have to attend. 1.4118 0.04714 187 126 45 16
784 Well, we can't say he didn't see it coming. 1.4108 0.04991 185 129 36 20
785 I thought he'd look grimmer. 1.4108 0.05164 185 132 30 23
786 What's next. No taxes? 1.4108 0.04931 185 128 38 19
787 Seems redundant. 1.4108 0.04749 185 125 44 16
788 It looks as if the only certainty now is - taxes. 1.4108 0.05107 185 131 32 22
789 It was either him or me. 1.4103 0.05053 156 104 40 12
790 So karma is real. 1.4098 0.04658 183 122 47 14
791 I guess the job finally caught up with him 1.4098 0.04909 183 126 39 18
792 I hear he's being replaced by an even worse fate. 1.4098 0.04722 183 123 45 15
793 I guess we will have to work on our marriage 1.4098 0.04785 183 124 43 16
794 Gosh, I guess that just leaves taxes... 1.4098 0.05030 183 128 35 20
795 It’s going to be a hell of a eulogy. 1.4098 0.04909 183 126 39 18
796 Turns out he was an organ donor 1.4098 0.04593 183 121 49 13
797 looks just like him 1.4098 0.04785 183 124 43 16
798 I told Bob he was tempting fate when he picked this Halloween costume. 1.4098 0.04970 183 127 37 19
799 Merv, we said. Be a doctor or a lawyer, we said. But no, he had to major in irony. 1.4098 0.05263 183 132 27 24
800 I don't buy it. Check his pulse. 1.4098 0.04658 183 122 47 14
801 He really buried himself in his work. 1.4098 0.04909 183 126 39 18
802 Well, maybe it's NOT too late to get another dog! 1.4096 0.04633 188 126 47 15
803 Now, what about taxes? 1.4096 0.05045 188 133 33 22
804 I loved him in that Bergman film. 1.4091 0.05050 176 122 36 18
805 We call this model The Grim Sleeper. 1.4091 0.05050 176 122 36 18
806 Well, Death did his part. 1.4088 0.04947 181 125 38 18
807 At least he went out doing what he loved most. 1.4078 0.04923 179 123 39 17
808 He made a grave error. 1.4076 0.04826 184 126 41 17
809 That reminds me, I need to do my taxes. 1.4076 0.04887 184 127 39 18
810 I think I’ll cancel my colonoscopy. 1.4076 0.04094 184 115 63 6
811 Karma's a bitch. 1.4076 0.05125 184 131 31 22
812 Who said irony is dead? 1.4076 0.04764 184 125 43 16
813 I guess we do need that long term care insurance. 1.4066 0.04672 182 122 46 14
814 How much do we have in retirement again? 1.4066 0.04987 182 127 36 19
815 I warned him not to cross Putin. 1.4066 0.05107 182 129 32 21
816 This may be good news for us. 1.4066 0.04925 182 126 38 18
817 Now you know what it feels like. 1.4066 0.04737 182 123 44 15
818 Without him I guess the only thing that's certain now is taxes. 1.4066 0.04800 182 124 42 16
819 He was such a big Ingmar Bergman fan 1.4066 0.04737 182 123 44 15
820 Well, yes, I guess I should have believed him when he said he had a "severe" allergy to peanuts. But he shouldn't have used air quotes. 1.4066 0.04800 182 124 42 16
821 Well, he knocked on the wrong door this time. 1.4059 0.05041 170 117 37 16
822 I warned him not to bring work home. 1.4057 0.04801 175 118 43 14
823 Hate to say it but he looks like hell. 1.4056 0.05026 180 126 35 19
824 I thought the service was kind of grim. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
825 It was the job that killed him. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
826 What will cartoonists do now? 1.4056 0.04837 180 123 41 16
827 Now all we have left is taxes. 1.4056 0.05026 180 126 35 19
828 I always thought we’d go first. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
829 Death really does become him. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
830 Wow, he looks like death warmed over. 1.4056 0.04837 180 123 41 16
831 Great. Now I'll be stuck with you forever. 1.4056 0.05148 180 128 31 21
832 Well, he certainly had it coming. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
833 They've done a beautiful job--he really looks dead. 1.4056 0.04901 180 124 39 17
834 I tried to warn him about your mother. 1.4056 0.05267 180 130 27 23
835 I think its time to get out of the mortuary business. 1.4056 0.05026 180 126 35 19
836 He always complained that work would be the death of him. 1.4056 0.04707 180 121 45 14
837 Somehow he looks less grim. 1.4045 0.04676 178 119 46 13
838 He promised he'd make it to my funeral, so I thought I'd show up to his. 1.4045 0.04676 178 119 46 13
839 I guess he finally caught up with himself. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
840 Do you think it was suicide? 1.4045 0.05067 178 125 34 19
841 I hope the taxman goes next. 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
842 I heard he worked himself to death. 1.4045 0.04676 178 119 46 13
843 It's Wayne LaPierre 1.4045 0.05190 178 127 30 21
844 You know what, death really does become him. 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
845 He was dying to know how it felt. 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
846 I'm told his successor will merely tweet. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
847 I knew this would happen if I let you dress mother. 1.4045 0.05429 178 131 22 25
848 They did a great job, he almost looks normal. 1.4045 0.04743 178 120 44 14
849 This is going to be very bad for business 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
850 I told you that he shouldn't have gone to work in the Trump White House.... 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
851 Does this mean we can cancel our life insurance? 1.4045 0.04875 178 122 40 16
852 Well, there goes the Death Penalty. 1.4045 0.04743 178 120 44 14
853 She did love to accessorize. 1.4045 0.05004 178 124 36 18
854 His lifestyle finally caught up to him. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
855 They said nothing could kill him. Then, he ate a tide pod. 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
856 So the last thing he said to me was"Hold my beer and watch this"! 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
857 I think we should take this 'Time's Up' movement more seriously. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
858 Stop telling people he was from my side of the family. 1.4045 0.04607 178 118 48 12
859 I guess we shouldn't have sold our condo in Florida 1.4045 0.04676 178 119 46 13
860 I told him he was working himself to death. 1.4045 0.04809 178 121 42 15
861 Hey, he had a good run, but it was time to step aside and let the NRA take over. 1.4045 0.05004 178 124 36 18
862 Well that's ironic 1.4045 0.05004 178 124 36 18
863 Now, we'll see his tax return. 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
864 I wanted him to be a doctor. 1.4045 0.05129 178 126 32 20
865 He won't be needing that where he's going 1.4044 0.04521 183 121 50 12
866 He always did like irony. 1.4044 0.04652 183 123 46 14
867 If we're lucky, taxes are next. 1.4044 0.04716 183 124 44 15
868 No wonder your mother is still around to annoy us. 1.4035 0.04587 171 112 49 10
869 Never felt so close to death before 1.4034 0.05171 176 125 31 20
870 Surprised they went with the open casket. 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
871 About those vows... 1.4034 0.04847 176 120 41 15
872 He had it coming. 1.4033 0.04942 181 126 37 18
873 How many times did I say "Don't run with your scythe"? 1.4033 0.05003 181 127 35 19
874 Now all we have to look forward to is taxes. 1.4023 0.04677 174 116 46 12
875 Apparently, he worked himself to death. 1.4023 0.04885 174 119 40 15
876 One down. Just Taxes to go. 1.4023 0.04677 174 116 46 12
877 Does this mean I don’t have to quit smoking? 1.4023 0.05085 174 122 34 18
878 Death became him. 1.4023 0.04885 174 119 40 15
879 Don't get too close... it could be a trap. 1.4023 0.04953 174 120 38 16
880 Could taxes be next? 1.4023 0.04953 174 120 38 16
881 Now it’s time to take on taxes. 1.4022 0.04587 179 119 48 12
882 Well, that’s grim. 1.4022 0.05043 179 126 34 19
883 It's amazing how death-like he still looks. 1.4011 0.04758 177 120 43 14
884 I wonder how he did it? 1.4000 0.04822 170 115 42 13
885 Well, that's the final irony. 1.4000 0.05314 175 127 26 22
886 Now if we could only get rid of taxes. 1.4000 0.05189 175 125 30 20
887 Wow! That can't be good for the funeral business. 1.3988 0.05036 173 121 35 17
888 He was only cheating himself. 1.3988 0.04762 173 117 43 13
889 So I guess we're stuck here til they find a replacement. 1.3988 0.05297 173 125 27 21
890 I think it just finally got to him. 1.3988 0.05103 173 122 33 18
891 I'd say he had it coming to him. 1.3988 0.05168 173 123 31 19
892 The mortuary did a good job. He looks so death-like. 1.3988 0.05168 173 123 31 19
893 Looks like his past finally caught up with him. 1.3988 0.04691 173 116 45 12
894 Term limits. Who knew? 1.3988 0.05036 173 121 35 17
895 At least he died doing what he loved. 1.3988 0.05036 173 121 35 17
896 QUIT NAPPING AND GET BACK TO WORK, THESE CASKETS AIN'T GONNA FILL THEMSELVES. 1.3988 0.05233 173 124 29 20
897 It wouldn't be so sad if Trump weren't President. 1.3988 0.05103 173 122 33 18
898 Natural? I think he looks like Death warmed over. 1.3977 0.05145 171 121 32 18
899 Yes, he really does look like death warmed over. 1.3977 0.05010 171 119 36 16
900 Now THAT's a game-changer. 1.3977 0.05078 171 120 34 17
901 Do you think he appreciates the irony? 1.3977 0.05010 171 119 36 16
902 He was his own worst enemy. 1.3977 0.05010 171 119 36 16
903 Looks like we can cancel our life insurance. 1.3977 0.04654 171 114 46 11
904 He reaped as he sowed. Grimly. 1.3977 0.04799 171 116 42 13
905 “Well, I guess that now, nothing is certain but taxes. 1.3977 0.05078 171 120 34 17
906 This is the rare occasion when the term 'ironic' would be used correctly. 1.3977 0.05145 171 121 32 18
907 At our age, we attend a lot of funerals, but I really didn't expect to be around for this one. 1.3977 0.04870 171 117 40 14
908 What kills me is paying all those useless life insurance premiums. 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
909 I can never tell, is this considered irony or sarcasm? 1.3977 0.05145 171 121 32 18
910 I guess the job got to him. 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
911 Looks like he finally reaped what he sowed 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
912 I don’t care, I still want a selfie. 1.3977 0.05078 171 120 34 17
913 They say he died at work 1.3977 0.04870 171 117 40 14
914 Oh My God...He looked better on SNL! 1.3977 0.05010 171 119 36 16
915 Could this mean the end of taxes too? 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
916 Well that's that. Now all we've got to be certain about is taxes. 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
917 Seems kind of redundant to me. 1.3977 0.05010 171 119 36 16
918 I guess we taught that son of a bitch not to knock on OUR door. 1.3977 0.04941 171 118 38 15
919 time to get up, you're gonna be late for work. 1.3964 0.05323 169 122 27 20
920 He touched so many deaths. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
921 I understand the funeral parlor comped him the casket. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
922 I think he's still asleep. He's had a busy year being the NRA mascot 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
923 That’s why I always get a flu shot. 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
924 Well, at least we can still be sure of taxes. 1.3964 0.05120 169 119 33 17
925 Another change in the Administration. 1.3964 0.05120 169 119 33 17
926 Now, nothing's certain but taxes. 1.3964 0.04981 169 117 37 15
927 Now the only thing certain is taxes. 1.3964 0.05120 169 119 33 17
928 This is what happens when you spend your life working the graveyard shift. 1.3964 0.04689 169 113 45 11
929 Well, he finally caught up with himself. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
930 You know things are bad when he calls it quits. 1.3964 0.05388 169 123 25 21
931 I told him that job would be the death of him. 1.3964 0.05256 169 121 29 19
932 What will do us part now? 1.3964 0.05189 169 120 31 18
933 He doesn't look so grim now, does he? 1.3964 0.04981 169 117 37 15
934 If he's gone for good, I wish we were younger. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
935 It’s a shame, I wanted to introduce him to your ex-wife. 1.3964 0.05189 169 120 31 18
936 Truly unique. He died of overkill. 1.3964 0.05189 169 120 31 18
937 Oh, Goodness! No wonder he wore that hoodie. 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
938 They say it was the worst flu season in years. 1.3964 0.05256 169 121 29 19
939 Looks just like Steve Bannon... 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
940 Do you think it was your meatloaf? 1.3964 0.05120 169 119 33 17
941 The dead flowers from his work were a nice touch. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
942 Well, Social Security just became insolvent. 1.3964 0.04689 169 113 45 11
943 He came to take me away, but I sold him on our Simply Celestial Casket package. 1.3964 0.05256 169 121 29 19
944 You never think it is going to happen to you. 1.3964 0.04910 169 116 39 14
945 It's a shame. He had so much to live for. 1.3964 0.04837 169 115 41 13
946 The mortician really captured Dad's essence. 1.3963 0.04864 164 111 41 12
947 He lived everyday like it was his last. 1.3953 0.05120 172 122 32 18
948 You couldn't have done this when we were 30? 1.3952 0.04950 167 115 38 14
949 It's tragic. There's still so much more grim to reap. 1.3952 0.05436 167 122 24 21
950 And they said irony was dead. 1.3952 0.05164 167 118 32 17
951 They say it was really unexpected 1.3952 0.04876 167 114 40 13
952 I can't believe they didn't put him in a nice suit. I mean he wore this every day. 1.3952 0.05093 167 117 34 16
953 I wonder who gave him the news. 1.3941 0.05163 170 121 31 18
954 Touché! 1.3941 0.05027 170 119 35 16
955 I thought you'd go before me, Sam. Now, we'll never know. 1.3941 0.05095 170 120 33 17
956 I just never imagined that he'd go first. 1.3941 0.04957 170 118 37 15
957 As if I didn't look death in the face enough already... 1.3941 0.04957 170 118 37 15
958 Well, he reaped what he sowed. 1.3939 0.05208 165 117 31 17
959 Maybe the phrase should be "you reap what you reap." 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
960 So are taxes next? 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
961 This is horrible timing, your mother's not dead yet. 1.3939 0.05278 165 118 29 18
962 I guess there’s nothing certain anymore. 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
963 I'm never eating kale again. 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
964 He looks a little more grim than usual.... 1.3939 0.04524 165 108 49 8
965 Looks like he reaped what he sowed 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
966 As they say..."what goes around comes around." 1.3939 0.04840 165 112 41 12
967 Now we're definitely going to outlive our money. 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
968 This just goes to show that you reap what you sow. 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
969 We should have bought that lifetime annuity when we had the chance. 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
970 He was my ride home. 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
971 His HMO said he was fine 1.3939 0.05208 165 117 31 17
972 I guess the only sure thing now is taxes. 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
973 Now that's just overkill. 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
974 Uncle Charlie always did have a dark sense of humor 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
975 I hear he didn't feel authentic not having tried it himself. 1.3939 0.04685 165 110 45 10
976 He always said it was an occupational hazard. 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
977 Who decided to bury him in his work clothes? 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
978 They didn’t quite capture his joie de vivre. 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
979 Who do you think came for him? 1.3939 0.05208 165 117 31 17
980 still gotta deal with taxes... 1.3939 0.04916 165 113 39 13
981 Does this mean irony is dead, too? 1.3939 0.05136 165 116 33 16
982 Still a drama queen. 1.3926 0.05107 163 114 34 15
983 And they say irony is dead. 1.3922 0.05183 153 106 34 13
984 This could be very bad for business. 1.3916 0.05252 166 119 29 18
985 Looks like business will be slow for a while. 1.3916 0.04740 166 112 43 11
986 I thought he'd grow out of his goth phase. 1.3916 0.05111 166 117 33 16
987 Well, there goes ‘til death do us part. 1.3913 0.04677 161 107 45 9
988 Now if we can just get rid of taxes. 1.3902 0.05155 164 116 32 16
989 He lived a full death... 1.3902 0.05155 164 116 32 16
990 One visit to the White House. That's all it took. 1.3902 0.05298 164 118 28 18
991 We need to sell our life insurance policies before word gets out. 1.3902 0.04932 164 113 38 13
992 His eulogy is gong to take forever. 1.3902 0.04932 164 113 38 13
993 They're calling it a suicide. 1.3902 0.05007 164 114 36 14
994 Unbelievable. I wonder if Taxes has heard. 1.3902 0.04699 164 110 44 10
995 They did a good job...he looks so dead. 1.3902 0.05298 164 118 28 18
996 First God and now Death, who's next? 1.3889 0.05345 162 117 27 18
997 It costs more, but the scythe adds some je ne sais quoi. 1.3889 0.05049 162 113 35 14
998 I’ll never understand why he just didn’t use a lawn mower. 1.3889 0.04895 162 111 39 12
999 He wanted to be buried in a suit but all I could find was his Halloween costume. 1.3889 0.05272 162 116 29 17
1000 You know we dated briefly in college. 1.3889 0.05049 162 113 35 14
1001 We’re screwed. 1.3889 0.04895 162 111 39 12
1002 Another victim of automation. 1.3889 0.05049 162 113 35 14
1003 He just asked about you last week 1.3889 0.04895 162 111 39 12
1004 So, what other things could do us part? 1.3889 0.05125 162 114 33 15
1005 He was in my kitchen and Alexa started laughing... 1.3889 0.05049 162 113 35 14
1006 Only taxes remain now 1.3889 0.05125 162 114 33 15
1007 Death can't do us apart anymore. 1.3889 0.04654 162 108 45 9
1008 I wonder where that leaves us now? 1.3889 0.04816 162 110 41 11
1009 Well, at least we can still count on taxes. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1010 Falling asleep on the job again? 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1011 He was cutting coroners. 1.3889 0.05345 162 117 27 18
1012 Surely, he saw this coming. 1.3889 0.05345 162 117 27 18
1013 Yes, suicide is tragic. But he died doing what he loved most. 1.3889 0.05345 162 117 27 18
1014 We always thought he'd be the last to go. 1.3889 0.05125 162 114 33 15
1015 This is a game changer. 1.3889 0.04973 162 112 37 13
1016 I hate tautology 1.3889 0.05125 162 114 33 15
1017 That's some ironic shit, right there. 1.3889 0.05272 162 116 29 17
1018 Life finally caught up with him. 1.3889 0.05416 162 118 25 19
1019 He didn't see it coming. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1020 I wonder if Breitbart will survive without him? 1.3889 0.05486 162 119 23 20
1021 I understand it was a suicide. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1022 Now the only thing for sure is taxes. 1.3889 0.05272 162 116 29 17
1023 Marjorie kept her sense of humor to the end. 1.3889 0.05345 162 117 27 18
1024 I guess that this proves that you do reap what you sow. 1.3889 0.05125 162 114 33 15
1025 I guess he took a selfie. 1.3889 0.05199 162 115 31 16
1026 He loved a good funeral. 1.3889 0.04816 162 110 41 11
1027 It's a shame, he was so good in the Ingmar Bergman movie. 1.3889 0.04973 162 112 37 13
1028 Looks like you won't be needing that cardiac by-pass surgery. 1.3875 0.05015 160 111 36 13
1029 I just hope he was wearing clean underwear... 1.3875 0.04606 160 106 46 8
1030 I keep expecting him to sit up and be dead. 1.3875 0.05169 160 113 32 15
1031 Yes, death does become him 1.3875 0.05169 160 113 32 15
1032 Yeah, we made a bundle on the sale of this casket, but I still say our business is in trouble. 1.3875 0.04936 160 110 38 12
1033 Redundant. 1.3875 0.04774 160 108 42 10
1034 Still, he wasn't our worst president. 1.3875 0.05392 160 116 26 18
1035 He touched billions. 1.3875 0.05093 160 112 34 14
1036 Suicide, obviously. 1.3875 0.05093 160 112 34 14
1037 As they say, you reap what you sow. 1.3875 0.04774 160 108 42 10
1038 I'd say he's had it coming for a very long time. 1.3875 0.04936 160 110 38 12
1039 They say his job killed him. 1.3875 0.04774 160 108 42 10
1040 I told him not to take his work home. 1.3875 0.05015 160 111 36 13
1041 Does this mean I will be married to you forever? 1.3875 0.05245 160 114 30 16
1042 I heard he worked himself to death. 1.3875 0.05169 160 113 32 15
1043 If only he'd had a gun... 1.3875 0.05319 160 115 28 17
1044 They say he took his own life. 1.3875 0.05245 160 114 30 16
1045 Rumor is it was self-inflicted 1.3875 0.05093 160 112 34 14
1046 Now, that's Karma. 1.3875 0.04936 160 110 38 12
1047 Just think, had it not killed him it would have made him stronger. 1.3875 0.05465 160 117 24 19
1048 Suicide. But he died doing what he loved. 1.3875 0.05319 160 115 28 17
1049 They say he left everything to Chance. 1.3875 0.05245 160 114 30 16
1050 I guess we have time to spend the kids’ inheritance. 1.3875 0.04774 160 108 42 10
1051 Overaccessorized - as usual. 1.3865 0.05099 163 115 33 15
1052 I guess it's just taxes we can be sure of now. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1053 'Well Margaret, we're going to need to revisit our marriage vows.' 1.3861 0.05588 158 117 21 20
1054 Apparently, he worked himself to death. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1055 Oh man, now we are really never getting rid of your mother 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1056 I always thought that it'd be taxes. 1.3861 0.05137 158 111 33 14
1057 Who the hell parts us now? 1.3861 0.05137 158 111 33 14
1058 They say there is nothing worse than outliving your child but I'm oddly ok with this 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1059 Kudos to the mortician for getting the grim expression off his face. 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1060 Apparently, irony isn't dead after all. 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1061 I always told him his line of work was killing him. 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
1062 I would never have believed it... Your Mother actually outlived him! 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1063 Cancel the life insurance and take the reverse mortgage. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1064 Maybe we'll get lucky with taxes, too. 1.3861 0.05367 158 114 27 17
1065 Well, we reap what we reap. 1.3861 0.05367 158 114 27 17
1066 Getting him in there was quite an undertaking. 1.3861 0.05137 158 111 33 14
1067 We won. 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
1068 He really worked himself to death. 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
1069 Now he is the grim sleeper. 1.3861 0.05291 158 113 29 16
1070 He finally reaped what he sowed. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1071 I want a divorce. 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1072 Well I guess pigs can fly now too. 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1073 I guess there may be rest for the wicked after all! 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
1074 Now that's irony! 1.3861 0.05057 158 110 35 13
1075 At least he died doing what he loved most. 1.3861 0.05214 158 112 31 15
1076 I'm surprised there aren't more people here. 1.3861 0.05515 158 116 23 19
1077 It's amazing what they can do with makeup - he looks so death-like. 1.3861 0.05137 158 111 33 14
1078 He reaped what he reaped. 1.3861 0.04895 158 108 39 11
1079 I told him he was working too hard. 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
1080 I guess he has a lot of angry people waiting for him. 1.3861 0.05214 158 112 31 15
1081 Well he can’t sleep out here. I’ll go make up the daybed. 1.3856 0.05337 153 109 29 15
1082 John, you have to absolutely promise me you won't use this mortician if I go first. 1.3856 0.05417 153 110 27 16
1083 Honey. When we said you could be whatever you want, we meant like a doctor, or an astronaut... 1.3856 0.05174 153 107 33 13
1084 No, just taking a quick nippity nap before heading back to work. 1.3856 0.05090 153 106 35 12
1085 I warned you not to mess with us. 1.3851 0.04911 161 111 38 12
1086 Well, they did a beautiful job. He doesn’t look a day older than the 15th century. 1.3851 0.05364 161 117 26 18
1087 Now what? 1.3846 0.05101 156 109 34 13
1088 Sickle cell, apparently... 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
1089 Let's cancel our life insurance policy. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
1090 I don't like the looks of this Harold. Who's going to put us out of our misery now? 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
1091 I wish this happened when I was 25. Now I'll be old forever. 1.3846 0.05261 156 111 30 15
1092 This is how I always pictured death. 1.3836 0.05110 159 112 33 14
1093 So you DO reap what you sow. 1.3836 0.05339 159 115 27 17
1094 I told him his job was killing him. 1.3836 0.05339 159 115 27 17
1095 Oh that reminds me - don't forget to bury me with my 7-iron 1.3831 0.05308 154 110 29 15
1096 I thought this was Jim Reaper's funeral. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
1097 I guess this means no more Grim Reaper caption contests 1.3831 0.05466 154 112 25 17
1098 Well now what? 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
1099 He said, he likes to try them out before the day starts. 1.3831 0.05388 154 111 27 16
1100 I'll miss Mr. Gallagher's quirky sense of humor. 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
1101 He looks good. Grim, but good. 1.3831 0.05063 154 107 35 12
1102 With the political climate, can you blame him? 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
1103 I can't help wondering who came for him 1.3831 0.05466 154 112 25 17
1104 Well - that's pretty grim . . . 1.3831 0.04892 154 105 39 10
1105 They are expecting a large turn out for this one 1.3806 0.05200 155 110 31 14
1106 Does it mean that we are out of business now? 1.3806 0.05036 155 108 35 12
1107 Remind me to cancel our life insurance policies. 1.3806 0.05200 155 110 31 14
1108 He never visited. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1109 And I thought he'd bury us all... 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1110 Our long term care insurance isn’t going to like this. 1.3791 0.04908 153 105 38 10
1111 Now all we have left is taxes. 1.3791 0.05717 153 115 18 20
1112 Really? Black lipstick? 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1113 The kids are not going to be happy. 1.3791 0.05408 153 111 26 16
1114 Seems a bit of a busman's holiday to me. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1115 I don't know. It just seems redundant. 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1116 You have to admit, it suits him. 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1117 I thought he'd be the last one let go by the White House. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1118 How will our retirement account last for eternity? 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
1119 He took the election results pretty hard. 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1120 At least he finally found himself. 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1121 Looks like a cheap trick to me, Herb. If he makes a move, slam the lid and run for it! 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1122 Does this mean I can start smoking again? 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1123 You have to admit, he touched millions of lives. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1124 People are saying he worked himself to death. 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1125 They did a great job putting your mother in her favorite outfit. 1.3791 0.05487 153 112 24 17
1126 The note said he just couldn't live with himself. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1127 I've never seen him looking so grim. 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
1128 Never drink and scythe. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1129 I heard the NRA found his replacement in a matter of minutes. 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1130 So what is the past tense? "Reaped?" "Reapt?" 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1131 They did a really good job. He looks so death like. 1.3791 0.05487 153 112 24 17
1132 So... this is life after Death? 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1133 I guess the job got to him. 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
1134 I told him to buy a lawn mower. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1135 He worked full-time, right up to the end! 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1136 Our retirement years just got longer. 1.3791 0.04908 153 105 38 10
1137 I told him this would happen if he kept taking his work home with him. 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
1138 Must have been suicide 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1139 You know what they say, Harold...You reap what you sow. 1.3791 0.05487 153 112 24 17
1140 Yes, we all see the irony, Henry... 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
1141 Thankfully he never got around to making a succession plan. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1142 They say he had a death wish. 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
1143 He was always a little obsessed with death... 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
1144 Gosh, Harvey, I guess you really do reap what you sow. 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
1145 Now, that's a scythe for sore eyes. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1146 Now how will we get out of here? 1.3791 0.05328 153 110 28 15
1147 I told you we would regret buying life insurance. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
1148 I guess now we just wait for Bannon. 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1149 He died like he lived. 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
1150 He was walking toward me muttering something when he slipped on a banana peel. 1.3791 0.05246 153 109 30 14
1151 At least we still have taxes 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1152 Well, you sow what you reap. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1153 I bet he didn't see it coming. 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
1154 Well, I guess it's true that you only reap what you sow. 1.3791 0.05408 153 111 26 16
1155 He mumbled something about too many damn people on earth now and not being able to keep up. 1.3784 0.04833 148 100 40 8
1156 He looks strangely lifelike. 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
1157 Worst case scenario: We live forever and Trump becomes president for life. 1.3775 0.05294 151 108 29 14
1158 Didn't see that coming. 1.3775 0.05210 151 107 31 13
1159 He does not look as grim in there 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
1160 I guess it's true - you reap what you sow 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
1161 Under the circumstances, I guess it has to be suicide. 1.3775 0.05377 151 109 27 15
1162 I always thought we would go first 1.3775 0.04768 151 102 41 8
1163 You reap what you sow. 1.3772 0.05763 114 79 27 8
1164 Well, he had a good run. 1.3766 0.05053 154 108 34 12
1165 He always did have the right clothes for every occasion. 1.3759 0.05562 141 102 25 14
1166 I heard it was from unnatural causes. 1.3758 0.05592 149 110 22 17
1167 He looks so grim and peaceful. 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1168 Now do you understand the meaning of the word “irony”? 1.3758 0.05082 149 104 34 11
1169 I suppose Taxes with be next. 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
1170 Such a shock. I never dreamed he'd go first. 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1171 You know, it is ironic. 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1172 I guess we can finally try hang-gliding. 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1173 I was actually counting on him 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1174 He looks just like he did when he was alive. 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1175 Does this mean we can finally cancel our term life policy? 1.3758 0.05082 149 104 34 11
1176 I've never seen him looking so grim. 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1177 I can't imagine he saw this coming. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1178 I can't believe he slipped on a banana peel. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1179 Ooh, the irony. Right? Is this irony? 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
1180 There’s evidently a bidding war for his business. I hear its down to big tobacco and the gun manufacturers. 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1181 Death really becomes him 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1182 Well, this was unforeseen. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1183 He was waiting for Godot. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1184 Hank, I was going to just wait this thing out, but given the circumstances... I want a divorce. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1185 He wants to get a better feel for the customer experience. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1186 Don't even think of burying me in my work uniform. 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1187 He wanted cremation, but we felt he'd look like death warmed over. 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1188 He never did find that work/life balance 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1189 For years, he lifted a lot of peoples' spirits. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1190 As soon as your nap is over, that's Seymour's spot 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
1191 Did they have to make him look so grim? 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1192 I guess a divorce is now our only way out. 1.3758 0.05510 149 109 24 16
1193 Death really does become him. 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1194 Live by the scythe, die by the scythe. 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
1195 I never though I'd live to see it. Now I guess we all will... 1.3758 0.04614 149 99 44 6
1196 I can't tell you how many times I told him, "Look before you reap." 1.3758 0.05343 149 107 28 14
1197 He doesn't look grim at all. Kind of peaceful. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1198 He looks much grimmer in real life. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1199 The only thing certain is death and... Wait, do we still have to pay taxes? 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1200 He died like he lived—dead. 1.3758 0.04807 149 101 40 8
1201 Soooo, I guess I've got no excuse NOT to try skydiving now. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1202 Goodbye social security. 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
1203 He always said his job was going to be the death of him. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1204 To hell with gluten free. 1.3758 0.05082 149 104 34 11
1205 He did this to himself. 1.3758 0.05082 149 104 34 11
1206 At least that's one less thing to worry about. 1.3758 0.04900 149 102 38 9
1207 Why were we named next-of-kin? 1.3758 0.05510 149 109 24 16
1208 So does this mean we’re off the hook? 1.3758 0.05427 149 108 26 15
1209 You reap what you sow, apparently. 1.3758 0.04992 149 103 36 10
1210 Does this mean your mother will be with us forever? 1.3758 0.05170 149 105 32 12
1211 I guess that what goes around actually does come around. 1.3741 0.05306 147 105 29 13
1212 Oof, he looks like Death. 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
1213 We're really stuck here now, aren't we. 1.3741 0.04942 147 101 37 9
1214 You know, he just looks like hell. 1.3741 0.05563 147 108 23 16
1215 Now he knows what it feels like! 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
1216 Now that death can't save us, I guess we'll have to vote. 1.3741 0.05563 147 108 23 16
1217 He was such a thoughtful boy...always around when someone wasn't feeling well... 1.3741 0.05809 147 111 17 19
1218 Bergman devotee, I see. 1.3741 0.04549 147 97 45 5
1219 I suppose it's just taxes now, for eternity. 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
1220 No one ever thinks they're next. 1.3741 0.05393 147 106 27 14
1221 To be frank, he hadn't looked well for some time. 1.3741 0.05217 147 104 31 12
1222 Well, there goes the mortuary business. 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
1223 He met his match. 1.3741 0.05306 147 105 29 13
1224 ...and I was so looking forward to widowhood. 1.3741 0.05127 147 103 33 11
1225 He loved irony. 1.3741 0.05036 147 102 35 10
1226 Does this count as "Death do us part?" 1.3741 0.05306 147 105 29 13
1227 I don’t care what they say. It HAD to be suicide 1.3741 0.05479 147 107 25 15
1228 Well, I guess our lifetime annuity was a good choice. 1.3741 0.05393 147 106 27 14
1229 I hear the prime suspect is Mrs. Reaper. 1.3741 0.05306 147 105 29 13
1230 Don’t you dare bury ME in a hoodie! 1.3741 0.05217 147 104 31 12
1231 Remember how you worried we would outlive our savings? 1.3741 0.04942 147 101 37 9
1232 Well, I guess the only thing in life that's sure now is taxes. 1.3741 0.05393 147 106 27 14
1233 They did a great job; he looks so...death-like. 1.3734 0.04876 158 110 37 11
1234 Who knew — John Donne was right. 1.3733 0.04687 150 101 42 7
1235 It’s the third time we’ve caught him sleeping on the job. 1.3730 0.05253 126 86 33 7
1236 He looks so life-like. 1.3724 0.05080 145 101 34 10
1237 Yes, George, you might very well say 'Death becomes him'. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
1238 Can't say I'm impressed with the mortician. He looks so lifelike. 1.3724 0.05356 145 104 28 13
1239 Well, that's a scythe for sore eyes. 1.3724 0.05174 145 102 32 11
1240 In the end, he succumbed to irony. 1.3724 0.05532 145 106 24 15
1241 I know the other reapers can be mean, but you need to get out of bed and get to school. 1.3716 0.05362 148 107 27 14
1242 Its been a rough flu season. 1.3714 0.05492 140 101 26 13
1243 I warned him my meatloaf was to die for. "Just one little bite" he says.. 1.3714 0.05676 140 103 22 15
1244 Well where else do you think he would nap? 1.3714 0.05203 140 98 32 10
1245 Your side of the family is always so dramatic..... 1.3714 0.05397 140 100 28 12
1246 Well, that explains the open casket. 1.3714 0.05492 140 101 26 13
1247 Eulogy was probably the greatest challenge. 1.3706 0.05315 143 102 29 12
1248 See what happens when you take your work home with you, Earl? 1.3706 0.05497 143 104 25 14
1249 He was never the same after that Monty Python movie. 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1250 Wonder what killed him! 1.3706 0.05586 143 105 23 15
1251 Looks like overkill to me! 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1252 A hoodie and a scythe. Which gang is that again? 1.3706 0.05586 143 105 23 15
1253 He lived a grim life. 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
1254 The irony is killing me. 1.3706 0.05407 143 103 27 13
1255 Didn't see that coming. 1.3706 0.05497 143 104 25 14
1256 I love karma. 1.3706 0.05315 143 102 29 12
1257 This all seems redundant. 1.3706 0.05029 143 99 35 9
1258 Poor guy, he never saw it coming 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1259 His wife is just be scythe herself. 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1260 Too bad he's a twin. 1.3706 0.05315 143 102 29 12
1261 Do we still have to do our taxes? 1.3706 0.05221 143 101 31 11
1262 Death becomes her. 1.3706 0.05029 143 99 35 9
1263 How long did that fellow say our money would last? 1.3706 0.05029 143 99 35 9
1264 Maybe I'll wait to file those taxes. 1.3704 0.05673 108 74 28 6
1265 So are taxes next? 1.3699 0.05235 146 104 30 12
1266 Does this mean we'll be married forever? 1.3689 0.05359 122 84 31 7
1267 Suddenly, I'm less worried about your angina. 1.3688 0.04765 141 95 40 6
1268 Honey, I had to take him out. He was comin' for you. 1.3688 0.04870 141 96 38 7
1269 Retirement proved fatal for him. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1270 Is this the end of death as we know it? 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
1271 more inevitable than ironic. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
1272 You say that, but once you realize what this means for the subways, you're going to miss him. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
1273 I guess the only thing we can count on now is taxes. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
1274 I guess now the only constant in life is taxes. 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
1275 Oh Great! Now we'll never sell those two cemetery plots. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
1276 Stay back, I think it's a trap. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1277 Yet another victim of automation. 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
1278 I knew someday his job would kill him. 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
1279 What got him? Taxes? 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1280 Well Well Well...look at you... 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
1281 So natural. He looks like he could just sit right up and reap you. 1.3688 0.04973 141 97 36 8
1282 I always hated that hoodie. 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
1283 I should have salted that icy patch at my door. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
1284 They did a good job. He looks like himself warmed-over. 1.3688 0.05641 141 104 22 15
1285 No. It’s a scythe. A sickle has a short handle. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
1286 I guess all that is certain in our lives now is taxes. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
1287 I knew your side of the family was evil. 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
1288 We even outlived him? God, we're old. 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
1289 I suppose this means your mother will always live with us. 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
1290 'I've really got to hand it to the undertaker - he looks absolutely death-like.' 1.3688 0.04870 141 96 38 7
1291 Hah – he finally reaped what he sowed! 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
1292 Now, we'll never rest in peace. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1293 He dug his own grave. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1294 He just laughed when I told him your rhubarb pie would be the death of him. 1.3688 0.04973 141 97 36 8
1295 Irony is dead 1.3688 0.05459 141 102 26 13
1296 The lipstick is a nice touch, but I would have gone with a darker pink. 1.3688 0.05270 141 100 30 11
1297 This is so meta, Harold. 1.3688 0.05365 141 101 28 12
1298 It was him or us. 1.3688 0.05730 141 105 20 16
1299 So I guess Keith Richards won't ever die. 1.3688 0.05905 141 107 16 18
1300 Whew, that's a scythe of relief. 1.3688 0.05551 141 103 24 14
1301 I told you we should have saved more for our retirement. 1.3681 0.05284 144 103 29 12
1302 He was a great surgeon, but had a warped sense of humor. 1.3681 0.05640 144 107 21 16
1303 Even Death. What's next, taxes ? 1.3681 0.05097 144 101 33 10
1304 He took too much business from big pharma. 1.3681 0.05284 144 103 29 12
1305 And, of course, of the two it had to be Death not Taxes! 1.3662 0.05783 142 107 18 17
1306 All he ever did was take. 1.3662 0.05334 142 102 28 12
1307 I never thought he would go first. 1.3650 0.04955 137 94 36 7
1308 Bill, call the Moore’s. Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1959. 1.3643 0.05385 129 91 29 9
1309 Will you got out of that coffin and stop scaring the customers with that get-up; I'm trying to make a sale here. 1.3643 0.05605 129 93 25 11
1310 I told him to stop touching himself. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1311 Isn't that a double negative? 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
1312 I always thought he would bury us all. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1313 Great, we are stuck here forever 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
1314 I thought 'Dressed to Kill' was a bit vague. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1315 Should be quite a scene at the Pearly Gates! 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1316 I guess they're hiring. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1317 We need to revaluate our retirement plan. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1318 "He was 'The' Grim Reaper, not 'A' Grim Reaper. I think we're in the clear. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1319 This does not bode well for over-population. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1320 Damn it, if death won't do us apart who will? 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1321 Next, I'll make certain the tax man has a little accident too. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1322 I suppose my appointment with him next week is canceled. 1.3643 0.04884 140 96 37 7
1323 Was it work-related? 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1324 We might be here a while. 1.3643 0.04884 140 96 37 7
1325 I would have thought taxes would have gone first. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1326 Now if we could just do something about taxes. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1327 He can't say he didn't see it coming. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1328 He was survived by all of us 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1329 Do you think we can cancel the life insurance now? 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1330 Or in his case, you reap what you reap. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1331 Until Death do us part...So, now what? 1.3643 0.05664 140 104 21 15
1332 I guess it had to be suicide. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1333 I never thought we'd live to see this day. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1334 I guess the only certainty left are taxes 1.3643 0.05572 140 103 23 14
1335 I guess we're only sure about taxes now. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1336 He'll get a break on funeral expenses but what a loss for the industry. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1337 He doesn't look that grim. 1.3643 0.05572 140 103 23 14
1338 Irony really is dead. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1339 Even the grim reaper, couldn’t survive the cuts in Medical benefits 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1340 He touched so many lives, but thankfully not mine. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1341 He worked himself to death. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1342 You know what they say . . . what goes around comes around. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1343 He really thought he could cheat death with this outfit? 1.3643 0.04988 140 97 35 8
1344 That’s the trouble with bringing your work home with you 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1345 Look who's grim now. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1346 You know what they say about Karma. 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
1347 The mortician is a genius. He's never looked deader. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1348 They did a good job, he looks so deathlike. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1349 He looks so grim 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1350 'Guess we should have saved more for retirement.' 1.3643 0.05572 140 103 23 14
1351 Finally, something that’s truly ironic. 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
1352 He looks a bit grim don't you think? 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1353 Sure, he won't be knocking at our door, but that just means an eternity of paying taxes. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1354 ...next: Taxes. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1355 He was so nice when he came for my grandmother, they had sponge cake. 1.3643 0.04884 140 96 37 7
1356 Someone finally gave him a taste of his own medicine. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1357 You never think it could happen to you. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1358 Now we just have to worry about taxes. 1.3643 0.05479 140 102 25 13
1359 Like I always told him, ‘you reap what you sow’. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1360 I warned him not to mess with Irony... 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1361 Nothing is certain anymore. 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
1362 He seems smaller in real death. 1.3643 0.04988 140 97 35 8
1363 I don't know. Is this good or bad? 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1364 You never think it is going to happen to you. 1.3643 0.05288 140 100 29 11
1365 I think I'd like to amend our wedding vows. 1.3643 0.05385 140 101 27 12
1366 You can get up now. They’re not going to ban assault weapons. 1.3636 0.05574 143 106 22 15
1367 Very sad, always who you least expect. 1.3623 0.05239 138 98 30 10
1368 I've always been nervous around people wearing hoodies. 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
1369 I just always thought it'd be me before him, ya know? 1.3623 0.05628 138 102 22 14
1370 That reminds me - did you file our taxes? 1.3623 0.05033 138 96 34 8
1371 At funerals, I worry I'll be next. This is a relief! 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
1372 Very sad. He still had so much to take from the world. 1.3623 0.04926 138 95 36 7
1373 This might not be the time, but remember how I told you "til Death do us part"...? 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
1374 It must have been taxes. 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
1375 Irony is dead 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
1376 The coffin company said 'One scythe fits all.' 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
1377 So how do we get rid of taxes? 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
1378 I wouldn't say lifelike, no... 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
1379 I told him his job would eventually kill him. 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
1380 His reputation preceded him. 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
1381 If only it had been taxes. 1.3623 0.05533 138 101 24 13
1382 Warmed over or not, it's not the look I would have chosen. 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
1383 Sugar, the silent killer 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
1384 Should we be bereeved or relieved? 1.3603 0.04970 136 94 35 7
1385 He tried to reap the wrong woman. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1386 I warned you not to screw with the Mishkins. 1.3603 0.05685 136 101 21 14
1387 I guess there's nothing left but taxes! 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1388 I always knew he had a death wish. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1389 One too many tweets from the White House could kill anyone. 1.3603 0.05589 136 100 23 13
1390 It must have been a suicide. 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1391 He never returns the tools he borrows 1.3603 0.05589 136 100 23 13
1392 I was sure he’d outlast taxes. 1.3603 0.05184 136 96 31 9
1393 Crap. Does this mean we live forever? 1.3603 0.05589 136 100 23 13
1394 Well so much for 'to death do us part' 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1395 They say he didn't meet his quota. 1.3603 0.05184 136 96 31 9
1396 It was suicide. Duh. 1.3603 0.05490 136 99 25 12
1397 The scythe I can understand, but the Macbook Pro? 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1398 A Trump cabinet job? I warned him. 1.3603 0.05490 136 99 25 12
1399 I guess that means we're getting a divorce 1.3603 0.05490 136 99 25 12
1400 Well they say "What comes around goes around." 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1401 The original misundertsanding came about when they said to him "Its a job for life" 1.3603 0.04970 136 94 35 7
1402 But at least he died doing what he loved to do. 1.3603 0.05685 136 101 21 14
1403 Is this a double negative? 1.3603 0.05184 136 96 31 9
1404 I'm glad I don't have to go to anymore of these. 1.3603 0.05288 136 97 29 10
1405 He looks like death warmed over. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1406 So much for Ars longa, vita brevis. 1.3603 0.05490 136 99 25 12
1407 They say he met a fate worse than death itself. 1.3603 0.05390 136 98 27 11
1408 Death be not proud. Death be dead. 1.3603 0.05780 136 102 19 15
1409 Who is he survived by? 1.3603 0.05589 136 100 23 13
1410 Did I just see him wink? 1.3603 0.05184 136 96 31 9
1411 That seems redundant. 1.3603 0.05184 136 96 31 9
1412 I always said Frank had a morbid sense of humor. 1.3603 0.05589 136 100 23 13
1413 Who will cut our grass now? 1.3597 0.05003 139 97 34 8
1414 Is he INSANE, grabbing zzz's in Dracula's coffin ?? 1.3597 0.05686 139 104 20 15
1415 They think it was an inside job 1.3597 0.05404 139 101 26 12
1416 The blue suit would've been more appropriate, but he always had a flair for the dramatic. 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
1417 You always think, "It happens to someone else." 1.3597 0.05404 139 101 26 12
1418 You reap what you reap. 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
1419 Don’t tell me, he met your mother ... 1.3597 0.05404 139 101 26 12
1420 You reap what you sow, I guess. 1.3597 0.05306 139 100 28 11
1421 This feels like a trap. 1.3597 0.05499 139 102 24 13
1422 He didn't have any family. I hear he was difficult to live with. 1.3597 0.04898 139 96 36 7
1423 You sow what you reap. 1.3597 0.05003 139 97 34 8
1424 The Detectives said it had to be suicide. 1.3597 0.05404 139 101 26 12
1425 He's dead to me. 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
1426 Well this does explain the For Sale sign outside of the Funeral Home. 1.3597 0.05306 139 100 28 11
1427 I want a divorce. 1.3597 0.05777 139 105 18 16
1428 What will do us part now? 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
1429 Death certainly becomes him. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1430 All we have left now are taxes. 1.3582 0.05646 134 99 22 13
1431 Karma really IS a bitch. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1432 maybe taxes are next... 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1433 I heard they made customer experience training mandatory... 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1434 He always told me his job was a killer. 1.3582 0.05744 134 100 20 14
1435 'Wow - it has been a bad flu season.' 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1436 Is this what they call irony? 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1437 I guess now it's only taxes 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1438 He got what was coming to him. 1.3582 0.05841 134 101 18 15
1439 I told you we didn't have enough retirement savings. 1.3582 0.04901 134 92 36 6
1440 I told him not to mess with the mafia 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1441 Truth be told, he was always dead to me. 1.3582 0.04901 134 92 36 6
1442 Wow, he looks like death warmed over. 1.3582 0.05744 134 100 20 14
1443 I always told him not to run in the house with that scythe. 1.3582 0.05646 134 99 22 13
1444 Doesn't look so proud now, does he ! 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1445 He should've seen it coming. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1446 If he's really gone, can we forget about taxes too? 1.3582 0.05646 134 99 22 13
1447 He should have taken a holiday now and then... 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
1448 I never thought I'd be looking Death in the face. 1.3582 0.05125 134 94 32 8
1449 Now I'm thinking we might not have saved enough for retirement. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1450 I'll miss his jokes and joie de vivre. 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
1451 Well, I guess he reaped what he sewed. 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
1452 Why do I not feel reassured? 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1453 Watch out! I think he’s taking a nap. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1454 This is why we need Obamacare. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1455 In this economy, it was the only way he could retire. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1456 Finally got a taste of his own medicine. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1457 Is this what they mean by "Death takes a holiday?" 1.3582 0.05014 134 93 34 7
1458 He sowed what he reaped. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1459 Looks good. He just came back from Florida. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1460 You've got to admit, death becomes her. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1461 They were saying its a bad flu season. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1462 Damn, I was looking forward to death-do-us-part 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
1463 It's amazing how Death-like he looks. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1464 Nothing is certain but taxes. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1465 Harold always did have a weird sense of humor. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1466 I'm so tired of irony. 1.3582 0.05233 134 95 30 9
1467 Well I guess now, "The only thing for certain is taxes" 1.3582 0.05125 134 94 32 8
1468 Poor man certainly looks like death itself. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1469 Amazing. After working himself to the bone- genocides, plagues, war, mass shootings- who'd have thought osteoporosis could take him down? 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1470 And they say Americans don't understand irony. 1.3582 0.05014 134 93 34 7
1471 TALK ABOUT IRONY 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1472 He looks exactly the same. 1.3582 0.05125 134 94 32 8
1473 I guess irony is dead. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1474 The NRA made his job redundant... 1.3577 0.05554 137 101 23 13
1475 It's part of his empathy training 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1476 I guess taxes is all we can count on now. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1477 He certainly looks right at home. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1478 He was always a little too good at his job. 1.3561 0.04825 132 90 37 5
1479 Apparently he was declared redundant. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1480 He had so much dying left to do. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1481 Don’t get your hopes up Harold, he has a brother. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1482 He always knew how to dress for any occasion. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1483 I guess we bought ourselves some time. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1484 Such a shame, he had more to die for. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1485 So who knew he was allergic to hazelnuts? 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1486 Death...here is thy sting. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1487 Your mother said she beat death but this is ridiculous. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1488 He never had much luck with relationships. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1489 He went doing what he liked best 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1490 Why do you suppose it took so long before he finally got around to, you know, touching himself. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1491 He was very good at his job but he just worked himself to death. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1492 I always thought he would out live us 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1493 Karma for the win. 1.3561 0.05704 132 98 21 13
1494 Really? You think it's fake news? 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1495 That's unbereavable! 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1496 He lived a full death... 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1497 I always knew he’d dig his own grave 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1498 We still haven't seen his tax returns. 1.3561 0.05805 132 99 19 14
1499 In the end, his work was the death of him. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1500 I guess kharma is a bitch... 1.3561 0.06001 132 101 15 16
1501 Hey ... I think we’re in luck. 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1502 I can't believe he's dead. He just looks like he's reaping. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1503 I know you're not supposed to touch, Brenda, but I've always wanted to know what's under that cloak. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1504 Well, now I definitely want that divorce. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1505 Well, I bet he didn't see that coming. So I guess that just leaves taxes? 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1506 It was only a matter of time before he got a dose of his own medicine. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1507 I still think we should have changed him out of his Halloween costume. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1508 He doesn’t look as grim as I thought he would. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1509 I knew his work would kill him one day. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1510 Now there's only one thing certain. 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1511 He makes it look so easy. 1.3561 0.05173 132 93 31 8
1512 So who came for HIM? 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1513 Now if only something could be done about the taxes part. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1514 He finally lived up to his name. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1515 I think his job finally took a toll on him. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1516 I always liked him in that suit 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1517 Well, I guess that just leaves taxes. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1518 He looks so ironic. 1.3561 0.05602 132 97 23 12
1519 I think we're going to need new wedding vows. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1520 He looks the same. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1521 Don't get too close. It might be a trap. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1522 He looked grimmer in real life. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1523 Another suicide, but at least he died doing what he loved. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1524 Truth be told, I'm glad he went first. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1525 I see he's taking his scythe with him. Who got the hourglass? 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1526 Now that just leaves Taxes. 1.3561 0.04944 132 91 35 6
1527 I guess women really do live longer. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1528 So now your mother's going to live with us forever? 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1529 I can't believe it. He was so excited about Trump. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1530 Surely self-inflicted. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1531 I told him not to eat the salmon mousse. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1532 Toughest whodunit ever. 1.3561 0.05392 132 95 27 10
1533 No reason not to book that cruise now, I guess. 1.3561 0.04944 132 91 35 6
1534 Ironic. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1535 Well, I guess we're stuck with each other... 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1536 What about taxes? 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1537 I told him, what goes around comes around. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1538 You free this weekend ? My calendar just opened up. 1.3561 0.05283 132 94 29 9
1539 He shouldn't have taken his work home with him. 1.3561 0.05704 132 98 21 13
1540 It had to be a suicide. 1.3561 0.06001 132 101 15 16
1541 What was he doing at a tanning salon? 1.3556 0.05511 135 99 24 12
1542 Come to think of it, he'd been looking kind of grim lately. 1.3556 0.05094 135 95 32 8
1543 Does this mean we have to stay old forever? 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1544 Never take a hoodie and a scythe to an NRA rally. 1.3556 0.05094 135 95 32 8
1545 That just leaves taxes. 1.3556 0.05610 135 100 22 13
1546 About time.... 1.3556 0.05094 135 95 32 8
1547 Overworked, most likely... 1.3556 0.04984 135 94 34 7
1548 Yeah, well, he had it coming. 1.3548 0.05515 124 89 26 9
1549 He should have stuck with sowing. 1.3548 0.05972 124 93 18 13
1550 He reaped a lot more than he sowed! 1.3543 0.05648 127 93 23 11
1551 The mortician did a beautiful job. He looks positively deathlike! 1.3543 0.05537 127 92 25 10
1552 Meta. 1.3540 0.05611 113 80 26 7
1553 Doris, don't be so hard on yourself. It was either you or him. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1554 I guess you reap what you reap! 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1555 He worked himself to the bone. 1.3538 0.05106 130 91 32 7
1556 I guess it was easier than tax reform. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
1557 I guess we don't have to be vegan anymore. 1.3538 0.05445 130 94 26 10
1558 I know people say this all the time, but he really does look just like he’s sleeping… 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1559 The bastard. We were almost there. 1.3534 0.05358 133 96 27 10
1560 Yes, but at least he died doing what he loved. (note: any potential credit goes to my 16-year-old son, Asa Kittner. (I blame his father). This is his submission, not mine. 1.3534 0.05566 133 98 23 12
1561 Who did it? 1.3534 0.05140 133 94 31 8
1562 How’s our retirement savings? 1.3534 0.05566 133 98 23 12
1563 The one job he had and he didn't do that right. 1.3534 0.05566 133 98 23 12
1564 You reap what you sow. 1.3534 0.05140 133 94 31 8
1565 They made him look so grim. 1.3534 0.05767 133 100 19 14
1566 I'll bet he didn't have life insurance. 1.3529 0.05376 136 99 26 11
1567 When it came down to Death or Taxes, you knew how it was going to end…. 1.3524 0.06199 105 77 19 9
1568 Apparently, he was taking a selfie. 1.3520 0.05112 125 87 32 6
1569 I warned him about bringing his work home with him. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1570 Not surprising. He lived by the scythe. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1571 I guess we’re safe now. Old, but safe! 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1572 I think the funeral home make up folks did the best they could; especially considering he didn’t have much of a face to begin with. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1573 Do you think we can get a refund on those plots? 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1574 Looks like we're off the hook. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1575 I blame the N.R.A. He was just overworked. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1576 I wonder how this effects our pension? 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1577 It's all fun and games until someone trips on their scythe . . . 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1578 It was self-inflicted. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1579 Don't get too close honey, it may be a trap! 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1580 I hear he didn't escape taxes, either. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1581 He was in a dead end job 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1582 All that money wasted on our life insurance! 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1583 That mortician promised "life-Like" but he looks like death warmed over 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1584 I'm telling you he worked himself to death. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1585 If you can't beat 'em... 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1586 Now we'll have to completely re-think our retirement plan. 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1587 I always wondered what happened to Steve Bannon. 1.3516 0.05931 128 97 17 14
1588 I'm not surprised. The last time I saw him, he looked like death. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1589 And my last words to him were that he looked like death itself. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1590 Well, at least we can still be certain about taxes 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1591 The new One is coming with a lawn mower... 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1592 Who knew about the Grimmer Reaper? 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1593 Irony's a bitch. 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1594 Halloween just won't be the same. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1595 Things are looking up. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1596 I thought our IRA was OK, but this changes everything. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1597 You're right, he does look warmed over. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1598 Nobody's laughing, dear, and Luke needs the scythe back; it's harvest time 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1599 Take it from me—he's never looked better. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1600 I will miss your mother. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1601 Who knew? The black hoodie. The long coat. The shiny blade. It could have been anyone at the mall. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1602 What kind of schmuck insists on spending eternity in his Halloween costume? 1.3516 0.05033 128 89 33 6
1603 If only he'd had a gun... 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1604 But we didn’t get to tell you about our GREAT-grandchildren. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1605 Sad.... Who will take over the family business now that he is gone and none of his kids are interested? 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1606 More than anyone, he should have known that you can't take it with you. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1607 He got too caught up in his work 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1608 He wasn't expecting this ... he recently had his blade sharpened. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1609 With health care going the way it is, he said that he really wasn't needed anymore. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1610 He never should have allowed Steve Bannon to touch him. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1611 He died the way he lived. 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1612 Big deal. There's still taxes. 1.3516 0.05611 128 94 23 11
1613 Does this mean we can stop paying our life insurance premiums? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1614 Serves the bastard right. 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1615 I guess Trump was just too much. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1616 I guess that just leaves taxes now. 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1617 This is going to kill the funeral home business 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1618 How will we tell our kids we’re never going to die? 1.3516 0.05826 128 96 19 13
1619 I think he would have liked this. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1620 His job really got to him, didn't it? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1621 You mean I have to live with this arthritis forever?!? 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1622 I think this means you can stop paying your life insurance premiums 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
1623 If only we could cheat taxes. 1.3516 0.05720 128 95 21 12
1624 good at chess, but Russian roulette wasn't his game 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1625 Somehow, I never thought of him as someone with a sense of irony. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1626 I still say he's faking it. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1627 OK, Death's gone. How should we kill Taxes? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1628 Looks like someone shot the messenger. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
1629 Weird, he was always after me about smoking. 1.3511 0.05189 131 93 30 8
1630 I'm guessing there won't be a eulogy. 1.3511 0.04957 131 91 34 6
1631 Looks like he worked himself to death. 1.3511 0.05410 131 95 26 10
1632 They did a good job on him. 1.3511 0.05410 131 95 26 10
1633 He looks more Surprised than Grim. 1.3511 0.05727 131 98 20 13
1634 You think the population explosion is bad now, just wait. 1.3511 0.05301 131 94 28 9
1635 The death of irony 1.3511 0.05518 131 96 24 11
1636 He's in a better place now. 1.3511 0.05301 131 94 28 9
1637 Great...I guess I'm stuck with you. 1.3511 0.05623 131 97 22 12
1638 Never thought I’d live to see the day! 1.3511 0.05518 131 96 24 11
1639 We're off the hook until a replacement is named. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1640 I begged him to quit smoking. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1641 Clear evidence that what goes around, comes around. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1642 It’s too bad this didn’t happen when we were younger. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1643 Guess the decision of how to dress the deceased was not difficult. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1644 I guess we should have saved more for immortality. 1.3492 0.05890 126 95 18 13
1645 Death of death... ? is this a joke by Godel, Escher or Bach? 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1646 He was so literal. 1.3492 0.05890 126 95 18 13
1647 I guess we're stuck with each other forever, now. 1.3492 0.05781 126 94 20 12
1648 He lived for work. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1649 Wow! I guess the end of Obamacare has far more reaching implications than I imagined. 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1650 Oh No! If one of them had to go, why couldn’t it have been Taxes! 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1651 He wasn't expecting a mirror. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1652 They say he went through hell. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1653 They say he slipped in the tub. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1654 The doctor said his chances were grim. 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1655 The real irony is he worked for the I.R.S. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1656 They say Steve Bannon got him. 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1657 I suppose he was dead on arrival. 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1658 He winked. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1659 He died doing what he loved most. 1.3492 0.04953 126 87 34 5
1660 Is he in a better place now? 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1661 That's going to be a tough position to fill 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1662 That was Bernice. Always had to show everybody she was in control. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1663 He died of supernatural causes. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1664 So now we know.....there's no life after death. 1.3492 0.06102 126 97 14 15
1665 Know what this means, Harold? We'll be miserable together forever. 1.3492 0.05781 126 94 20 12
1666 Couldn't cover his copay. 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1667 Don't feel so sad, he brought it on himself. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1668 He looks like death warmed over. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1669 I suppose in the end, he reaped what he sowed. 1.3492 0.05890 126 95 18 13
1670 We always bump into him at these things. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1671 I don't like the undertaker's sense of humor, but he was cheap. 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1672 Damnit Alfred, when I said “til death do us part,” I didn’t figure this would happen. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1673 It was either him or me. 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1674 I heard he knocked on his own door. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1675 Who do you think came to collect him? 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1676 He changed so many lives. 1.3492 0.05890 126 95 18 13
1677 I told him not to mess with me. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1678 He kept the lawn so nice. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1679 Do you think the job killed him? 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1680 Now you know how it feels 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1681 I thought he was already dead ! 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1682 Gee. I wonder if he saw that coming? 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1683 Finally. 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1684 It's especially sad for cartoonists. 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
1685 I guess this leaves us with taxes. 1.3492 0.05781 126 94 20 12
1686 Wait! So the only thing certain now is taxes? 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1687 He never missed a day of work. That's probably what killed him. 1.3492 0.05323 126 90 28 8
1688 Who's Trump going to replace him with? 1.3492 0.05670 126 93 22 11
1689 He always was a bit preoccupied with death. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1690 They did a great job. So lifelike. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1691 Sad really, he was survived by no one. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1692 How much do we have in savings? 1.3492 0.05441 126 91 26 9
1693 I heard his work finally did him in. 1.3488 0.05238 129 92 29 8
1694 So we'll live forever now? I want a divorce. 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
1695 After years of therapy, he finally found himself 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
1696 He looks pretty grim. 1.3488 0.05891 129 98 17 14
1697 I guess you reap what you reap! 1.3488 0.05238 129 92 29 8
1698 He didn't know it was a mirror. 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
1699 The irony of this is inescapable. 1.3488 0.05464 129 94 25 10
1700 He still looks so deathlike. 1.3488 0.05787 129 97 19 13
1701 I guess somebody did not to go gently. 1.3485 0.05587 132 98 22 12
1702 He works from home now 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1703 I told him his job would kill him. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1704 They did a terrible job- he looks like Death warmed over! 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1705 Guy never paid any taxes and bragged he was the only certain thing. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1706 We should call Dave at Morgan Stanley on Monday. I assume we'll live forever now. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1707 I guess it's just taxes now. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1708 No more Death...wow. Now I really want a divorce. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1709 Amazing! He looks so dead... 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1710 His brother the Happy Reaper is taking his place. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1711 He was always big on DIY 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1712 Does this mean we're doomed to live forever? 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1713 Now we can all breathe a scythe of relief. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1714 If I knew it would make us immortal, I would have done this sooner. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1715 He ran Grim Reaper Farm Implements--'one scythe fits all.' 1.3468 0.05955 124 94 17 13
1716 Such a shame. He doesn't look a day over eternity. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1717 I told him not to run with a scythe. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1718 As neighbors go, he kept strange hours but was quiet and kept the rodent population down 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1719 Unfortunately, he is survived by Taxes 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1720 Does this mean only taxes are now certain? 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1721 It seems like everyone is into performance art these days. 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1722 He was always so sure of himself, and taxes. 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1723 The homily was interesting; I had no idea he was raised Episcopalian. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1724 BAD BAD KARMA!!! 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1725 Do we still have to file taxes? 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1726 Isn't that redundant..... 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1727 He does look like Death warmed over. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1728 I guess you really do reap what you sow... 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1729 He was predeceased by numerous souls according to the obit. 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1730 I wonder if he saw this coming? 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1731 Do we need to still file our taxes? 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1732 Does this mean we have to live forever? 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1733 Wow! He looks like death. How long have you been waiting to say THAT? 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1734 He died doing exactly the thing he lived for. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1735 He loved irony. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1736 Our retirement fund needs a longer term strategy. 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1737 Well Harry, it looks like until death do us part just went out the window. 1.3468 0.04997 124 86 33 5
1738 Looks like we just bought some time. 1.3468 0.04997 124 86 33 5
1739 For him, it's a busman's holiday. 1.3468 0.04997 124 86 33 5
1740 He went before his time. 1.3468 0.05497 124 90 25 9
1741 Any news on who's going to take his place? 1.3468 0.04728 124 84 37 3
1742 He's probably not going to a better place. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1743 I think he is faking it. 1.3468 0.05253 124 88 29 7
1744 They say the workload just killed him. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1745 I never thought it would happen to him. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1746 Well, that just shows you, there's no such thing as job security! 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1747 So I guess it’s no longer til death do us part 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1748 Looks like we're going to outlive our money. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
1749 He had to meet his daily quota 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
1750 On the other hand, his lawn was always immaculate. 1.3465 0.05520 127 93 24 10
1751 It looks like he finally sowed what he reaped. 1.3465 0.05520 127 93 24 10
1752 I told him he'd work himself to death. 1.3465 0.05289 127 91 28 8
1753 I always thought he would bury us all. 1.3465 0.05520 127 93 24 10
1754 It's a little too self-referential, don't you think? 1.3465 0.05289 127 91 28 8
1755 I feel guilty. We have cheated him a few times.. 1.3465 0.05169 127 90 30 7
1756 Thanks, OBAMA. 1.3462 0.05537 130 96 23 11
1757 Better tell the kids to forget about any inheritance. 1.3462 0.04970 130 91 33 6
1758 This is just another one of his ridiculous 'empathy' exercises. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1759 Poor devil...and just when business was booming. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1760 It was a dying profession anyway. 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1761 Well, I DID think he was pretty good in that old Bergman movie. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1762 And then after showing him all my pictures, we talked bunions and incontinence. He seemed a little tired. 1.3445 0.05262 119 84 29 6
1763 It's sad, but times change. He couldn't compete with Monsanto. 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1764 He had been very overworked. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1765 I bet he was a smoker 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1766 Heart attack…didn’t realize he was looking in the mirror. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1767 If this is your idea of taking a holiday, it's in very bad taste. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1768 I told you not to buy more life insurance. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1769 If this is your calling, fine. But, you're going to have to move out and get your own place. 1.3443 0.04907 122 84 34 4
1770 So I guess you really can't take it with you. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1771 Well, this is certainly grim. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1772 They made him look so death-like! 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1773 It looks we are going to be married longer than expected 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1774 I think I’m going ahead with that skull trephining double lung transplant gender reassignment surgery. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1775 Seems he reaped what he sowed. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1776 God, now who do we blame? 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1777 It always hits the ones you least expect. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1778 Next it'll be taxes. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1779 Well, he reaped what he sowed. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
1780 Doesn't he look unnatural? 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1781 He told me that learning to juggle would lighten his mood and help with his posture. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1782 So where do you think the White House is looking for his replacement? 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1783 So where does that leave taxes? 1.3443 0.04907 122 84 34 4
1784 Quit it, Harold, that's not funny. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1785 I told him not to run with a scythe. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1786 Don’t run with scissors, I said 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1787 The irony of this kills me 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1788 Apparently he wasn't grim enough. 1.3443 0.05043 122 85 32 5
1789 He just doomed us all to life 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
1790 He looks like hell. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1791 I guess you reap what you sow. 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1792 He looks so . . . unnatural 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1793 I heard it was suicide. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1794 Poor Uncle Lou looks like Death. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1795 I guess we can cancel that life insurance policy now. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1796 I expected this would happen after the death of irony. 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1797 If this means no more deaths, they'll cut our Social Security. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1798 He becomes himself. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1799 And I was just playing chess with him the other day. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1800 You're wrong Henry. I'm sure that's not my mother. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1801 Well, that will teach him for touching himself. 1.3443 0.05909 122 92 18 12
1802 Terrible workplace accident, I heard. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1803 Ed, I must say...they really did a nice job capturing the essence of your mother. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1804 Would this be a murder or a suicide? 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1805 He always came to bridge parties with a new partner. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1806 Great. Now who's going to come get us? 1.3443 0.05793 122 91 20 11
1807 I still have his casserole dish from Thanksgiving dinner. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1808 This is really going to stretch our retirement portfolio. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1809 I thought you said his name was Tim Reaper? 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1810 Does this mean we'll outlive our 401K? 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1811 Do you think we still have to file our taxes? 1.3443 0.05675 122 90 22 10
1812 I never met him. 1.3443 0.05431 122 88 26 8
1813 We can stop taking our meds. 1.3443 0.05305 122 87 28 7
1814 You know what they say about Karma. 1.3443 0.05175 122 86 30 6
1815 First God Now death. What's next? Taxes? 1.3440 0.05093 125 88 31 6
1816 It's sad, he took his own death. 1.3440 0.05460 125 91 25 9
1817 He inspired so many people. 1.3440 0.05341 125 90 27 8
1818 Hey, that's not Grim! That's Phil Reaper. 1.3440 0.05577 125 92 23 10
1819 Trump replaced him. 1.3440 0.05341 125 90 27 8
1820 I told you not to introduce him to your mother. 1.3440 0.05460 125 91 25 9
1821 Shame; he took himself too soon... 1.3440 0.05577 125 92 23 10
1822 Morty always was such a card. 1.3419 0.05967 117 88 18 11
1823 Well, I guess what goes around comes around. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1824 So he finally took a holiday 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1825 Not fair! They wouldn't let Bob take his golf clubs with him. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1826 Death just lost its meaning for him. 1.3417 0.05225 120 85 29 6
1827 I heard he didn't want to pay his taxes. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1828 Martha, I say we go ahead with that kitchen remodel. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1829 I suppose we'll have to start being nice to each other. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1830 They say he committed scythecide. 1.3417 0.05976 120 91 17 12
1831 Dramatic -- right to the end. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1832 He looks right at home. 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1833 I said don't look, I still say it's a trick. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1834 Apparently he looked in the mirror and scared himself to himself 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1835 I have mixed feelings about this. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1836 With Trump as President and Weinstein outed, he just lost his zest for life. 1.3417 0.05857 120 90 19 11
1837 If this doesn't confirm the saying, "We all have to go sometime," then nothing will. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1838 This is so meta. 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1839 Is this a joke? 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1840 At least, now, he’s probably in a better place. Norway. 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1841 I wish he'd expired when we were in our thirties. Who wants eternity at our age? 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1842 Well, it's not as grim as I thought it would be... 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
1843 Drat! I was counting on him to do us part. 1.3415 0.05516 123 90 24 9
1844 He sowed what he reaped. 1.3415 0.05867 123 93 18 12
1845 So the reports were not greatly exaggerated. 1.3415 0.05516 123 90 24 9
1846 He's always one step ahead of everyone. 1.3415 0.05269 123 88 28 7
1847 It's all so terribly redundant. 1.3415 0.05010 123 86 32 5
1848 In the final analysis, his career really defined him. 1.3415 0.05141 123 87 30 6
1849 Funny I always thought he would out live us all. 1.3415 0.05141 123 87 30 6
1850 Black always was his color. 1.3415 0.04446 123 82 40 1
1851 "I suppose this makes us the 'Grim Weepers' ". 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
1852 The scythe is a bit of overkill, don't you think? 1.3415 0.05394 123 89 26 8
1853 He truly lived for his work. 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
1854 He's a dead ringer for his father. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1855 Rest in Peace Mr. Bannon 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1856 Time is no longer of the essence. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
1857 He was absolutely phenomenal in "The Seventh Seal. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1858 Does that mean he's actually alive? Double negative, right? 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
1859 Maybe there really is death after death. 1.3390 0.05277 118 84 28 6
1860 We don't have to be afraid to answer the door anymore! 1.3388 0.05933 121 92 17 12
1861 Live by the scythe... 1.3388 0.05449 121 88 25 8
1862 He always did love dressing the part. 1.3388 0.05449 121 88 25 8
1863 We bought him that outfit for Halloween one year--remember? 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1864 Yes, I agree. We should give him a good deal on the casket. I would hate to be accused of CHEATING death. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1865 FAKE DEATH! 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1866 But doesn't he look good. 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
1867 Of all people. 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1868 Funny, He never saw it coming. 1.3361 0.06000 119 91 16 12
1869 It's about damn time. 1.3361 0.05633 119 88 22 9
1870 Reap no more! 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1871 Still so grim 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1872 It kills me to see him like this 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1873 Well, at least taxes are still certain. 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
1874 He hasn't looked this good in centuries. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1875 Well, Grandma DID have a flair for the dramatic... 1.3361 0.06118 119 92 14 13
1876 He always thought it could never happen to him. 1.3361 0.04961 119 83 32 4
1877 What's next. No taxes? 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1878 "He always had a death wish". 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
1879 I didn't even know he had retired! 1.3361 0.05102 119 84 30 5
1880 Well, this is the last funeral we'll ever go to. 1.3361 0.05633 119 88 22 9
1881 In your eulogy, don't mention his deadpan sense of humor. 1.3361 0.05102 119 84 30 5
1882 Good work, Smithers. Now see what you can do about taxes. 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1883 Who do you suppose the soul executor is? 1.3361 0.04815 119 82 34 3
1884 He hasn't been warmed over yet! 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1885 Let's not let celebrity endorsements affect our purchase decision. 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1886 You now, he actually does look grim.... 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1887 He had a steady job, he was respected, I don't know why he gave it all up to 'find himself.' 1.3361 0.05633 119 88 22 9
1888 ‘Great, all those years of paying into life insurance was for nothing.’ 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1889 One scythe fits all. 1.3361 0.05633 119 88 22 9
1890 We will miss him, thankfully. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1891 The irony is Grim. He reaped what he sowed. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1892 He wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1893 He looks like life warmed over. 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
1894 It's always about him. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1895 Seems redundant. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1896 What do you think this means for our retirement plan? 1.3361 0.04961 119 83 32 4
1897 He doesn't look all that grim. They did a nice job with him. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1898 " So we finally beat death, now what ? 1.3361 0.05102 119 84 30 5
1899 Does this mean I'm married to you for eternity? 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1900 I knew his job would kill him 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1901 Now who’s gonna visit us? 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1902 Makes you wonder what in Hell he's going to do there. 1.3361 0.05374 119 86 26 7
1903 We need to sell the business before someone finds out. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1904 Looks like not fixing the railing on the front porch was a good idea. 1.3361 0.05240 119 85 28 6
1905 So now who’s got the last laugh? 1.3361 0.05880 119 90 18 11
1906 Well, frankly, we're all relieved. 1.3361 0.05505 119 87 24 8
1907 I don’t know why, but I always thought that I’d be the one to go first. 1.3361 0.04599 122 83 37 2
1908 It was the salmon mousse. 1.3333 0.05150 117 83 29 5
1909 They say you reap what you reap... 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1910 This will give us a little more time. 1.3333 0.05150 117 83 29 5
1911 He looks so young. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1912 You might not believe it, but it has seven cup holders. 1.3333 0.06070 117 90 15 12
1913 They are going to have a hell of a time closing the casket. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1914 The flu was really contagious this season 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1915 Does this mean we have to stay in The Villages for eternity? 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1916 Shhhh, don't wake him up. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1917 Never bring your work home with you. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1918 I warned him that job would be the death of him. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1919 I always told him his work would be the death of him. 1.3333 0.05947 117 89 17 11
1920 The irony is killing me. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1921 I hope this doesn't mean we live forever. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1922 If you say, "He looks so natural," one more time it's going to be you in that box. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1923 He didn't even own a decent suit? 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1924 He never did learn to sow. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1925 Well, that's not going to be good for business! 1.3333 0.06070 117 90 15 12
1926 We told him it was a dead end job. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1927 You think that he would have put up more of a struggle. 1.3333 0.04542 117 79 37 1
1928 OSHA'S gonna have a field day with this one. 1.3333 0.05150 117 83 29 5
1929 Oh my, Ned, they did such a good job. So lifelike! 1.3333 0.06070 117 90 15 12
1930 What a shame. I was dying to meet him. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1931 I always thought we would go before him. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1932 I told Harry that was a bad Halloween costume. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1933 To their horror, Mildred and Seymour come to realize their relationship has outlived irony. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1934 He died as he lived. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1935 This one in particular has me feeling old. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1936 You can't reap forever. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1937 We really need to widen our circle of friends 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1938 Looks like the Reaper didn’t know about Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law...... 1.3333 0.05947 117 89 17 11
1939 How many times did I say, "Howard, this cosplay obsession will end badly?" 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1940 I don't see the irony. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1941 Somehow, Putin got to him. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1942 I dare you to kiss him. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1943 If I told him once, I told him a million times, that his job would be the death of him. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1944 Why couldn't this happen when I was in my 20's? 1.3333 0.05822 117 88 19 10
1945 His expression is grim. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1946 So, how's it feel to be on the receiving end? 1.3333 0.04702 117 80 35 2
1947 It couldn't have happened to a better guy. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1948 At least we can still count on taxes. . . 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1949 He’s never looked so good. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1950 It’s called karma. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1951 Looks like that brutal schedule of modeling for all those New Yorker cartoonists finally did him in. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1952 Reap no more, my darling. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1953 That's what happens when death refuses to take a holiday 1.3333 0.05005 117 82 31 4
1954 I guess they reached their quota with this administration. 1.3333 0.05466 120 88 24 8
1955 We got him, but are there others? 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1956 I hate to say it, but he's never looked better. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1957 The good news is it looks like we can cash out our Life Insurance Policy. 1.3305 0.05114 118 84 29 5
1958 I'd say he reaped what he sowed. 1.3305 0.05652 118 88 21 9
1959 Well, you can't say he didn't deserve it. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1960 I guess it's true what goes around comes around. 1.3305 0.05779 118 89 19 10
1961 I kept telling him he was working himself to death. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1962 I guess my appointment for next week is cancelled. 1.3305 0.05254 118 85 27 6
1963 All that's left now is taxes. 1.3305 0.05779 118 89 19 10
1964 Does this mean we're off the hook? 1.3305 0.05390 118 86 25 7
1965 I wonder who called on him? 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1966 Does this mean we are stuck with your mom forever? 1.3305 0.05390 118 86 25 7
1967 We won. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1968 Now we'll never get relief from our student loans. 1.3305 0.05779 118 89 19 10
1969 Work was his life. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1970 Guess we'll have to find a new fear to let dictate our lives. 1.3305 0.05390 118 86 25 7
1971 Amazing how deathlike they managed to make him. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1972 The Zero Population Growth folks must be devastated. 1.3305 0.05254 118 85 27 6
1973 Well....at least we’ll always have taxes. 1.3305 0.05523 118 87 23 8
1974 You know what they say, you reap what you sew! 1.3305 0.05903 118 90 17 11
1975 Is that a scythe in his casket, or is he glad to see us? 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1976 I'm sure not going to be the one who tries to close this casket. 1.3304 0.04575 115 78 36 1
1977 Ya reap what ya sow Harry, ya reap what ya sow. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1978 I still can't believe it, he was always so full of life. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1979 I'm not sure how to feel, to be honest. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
1980 Now that's grim! 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1981 Apparently he was overcome by people looking to escape this administration. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1982 This looks like a New York Times Caption Contest 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1983 'Til death do us part...well, can't count on that one anymore. 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1984 "I warned him not to confuse his sickle with his selfie-stick – but would he listen?| 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
1985 He had to know you reap what you sow. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1986 Well, he certainly reaped what he sewed! 1.3304 0.04897 115 80 32 3
1987 It must have been self defense. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1988 I think Florida was too much for him 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
1989 I hope he didn't leave us anything! 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1990 Dying won't be the same anymore! 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1991 I guess not even Death will do us part now 1.3304 0.06264 115 90 12 13
1992 Back to work—you’re killing our business. 1.3304 0.06016 115 88 16 11
1993 No, you hug him. 1.3304 0.05888 115 87 18 10
1994 When he was starting out, he would kill the weeds on my lawn. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1995 He made his bed, now he is lying in it. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
1996 How do we know he's not just playing dead. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1997 No, you're right. It's probably not what he would've wanted… 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1998 My god. He looks like death warmed over. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1999 He had so much to look forward to -- the individual mandate had just been repealed. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
2000 They say his outlook on life was rather grim. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
2001 Isn't this a little redundant? 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
2002 Poor guy. Lost his job to an AR-15. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
2003 Don't fret dear. You still have taxes you can be certain of. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
2004 I'm not surprised. He looked like death. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
2005 I guess you reap what you sow. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
2006 It broke his heart to see technology taking over his job. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
2007 Now what ???? 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
2008 You should see the other guy... 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
2009 Cartoonists around the world are mourning the death of a beloved cliché. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
2010 death becomes him don't you think? 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
2011 Too bad he had to deliver the message to himself. 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
2012 I suppose nothing will part us now, dammit. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
2013 I heard he died on the job. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
2014 Never did find out who he was coming for. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
2015 He overdosed on thoughts and prayers. 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
2016 The irony of dying on Halloween, dressed like that. 1.3304 0.05344 115 83 26 6
2017 He always loved coming to the funeral home. 1.3304 0.04897 115 80 32 3
2018 Where else would he sleep? 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
2019 I hear he died of supernatural causes 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
2020 I always said he had a sick sense of humor. 1.3304 0.04976 112 78 31 3
2021 Does this mean your mother is living us forever? 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
2022 He truly lived as he died. 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
2023 Poor dear man! He so wanted to outlive Henry Kissinger. 1.3276 0.05581 116 86 22 8
2024 I told him his job was going to be the death of him. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2025 So does that mean we have to go and live forever? 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2026 I guess that Death is finally taking a vacation. 1.3276 0.05844 116 88 18 10
2027 There goes my guaranteed escape from a horrible marriage. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2028 We'll have to find another way out. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2029 I guess it really does come around. 1.3276 0.05581 116 86 22 8
2030 He didn't see this one coming. 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2031 You live by scythe, you die by the scythe. 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2032 His work finally did him in. 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2033 This is what happens when you arm everyone with a scythe. 1.3276 0.05844 116 88 18 10
2034 Have you ever seen anything more redundant? 1.3276 0.05970 116 89 16 11
2035 Bet he never saw That coming. 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2036 Gives real meaning to " Reap what you sow". 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2037 He died of irony. 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2038 Do we still pay taxes? 1.3276 0.06216 116 91 12 13
2039 Don't touch him. It's a trick. 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2040 I didn't mean to hit him that hard. I thought it was a home invasion. 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2041 And you insisted we go with a term life policy. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2042 I guess this means that now I have to put up with you...forever. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2043 I’d like to remember him how he was as a child, the Happy Reaper. 1.3276 0.05844 116 88 18 10
2044 "I guess that "times up" movement really got to him 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
2045 It was the job that killed him. 1.3276 0.05015 116 82 30 4
2046 I guess he reaped what he sowed 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2047 At least he died doing what he loved: Dying. 1.3276 0.05445 116 85 24 7
2048 I think we should cancel our Life insurance. 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
2049 We’re going to need a bigger IRA 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
2050 It only looks like irony is dead. 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
2051 We'd better rethink that reverse mortgage 1.3274 0.05250 113 81 27 5
2052 Somehow I'd pictured cremation. 1.3274 0.05821 113 85 19 9
2053 Is it too late to revoke our Irrevocable Charitable Trust? 1.3274 0.04940 113 79 31 3
2054 Did he believe in life after himself? 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
2055 He died as he lived: Grimly. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
2056 It's like staring death in the face. 1.3274 0.05821 113 85 19 9
2057 I told him he was working too hard, but did he listen? No. 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
2058 I told him not to run while carrying that scythe. 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
2059 Let's call Bob and tell him not to file our return yet. 1.3274 0.05250 113 81 27 5
2060 The mortuary did a wonderful job. He looks so death-like. 1.3274 0.05955 113 86 17 10
2061 I told him not to use it, I even bought him an electric shaver. 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
2062 Certainly, it could only have been suicide. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
2063 He looks so supernatural. 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
2064 We better call our financial planner. 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
2065 'Turns out, it WAS the salmon mousse." 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
2066 The Grim Sleeper 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
2067 He was just tired of death. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
2068 Ironic, isn't it? 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
2069 Take that sucker. 1.3271 0.06197 107 82 15 10
2070 To me it's just overkill. 1.3248 0.05126 117 84 28 5
2071 It was a thankless job, but he never complained. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
2072 And here is our deluxe model. It comes complete with valet... 1.3246 0.05641 114 85 21 8
2073 Grim, sure, but to us he'll always be just Chad. 1.3246 0.05910 114 87 17 10
2074 I heard his replacement is just killing it! 1.3246 0.05212 114 82 27 5
2075 You know this is gonna play hell with our retirement savings. 1.3246 0.05502 114 84 23 7
2076 Well, I guess you reap what you sow. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2077 What comes around... 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2078 He had a bad heart. Maybe he should have used the weedwhacker. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
2079 Steve Bannon pointed at him. 1.3243 0.06160 111 86 14 11
2080 Father always had a flair for the dramatic. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2081 I suppose you think that’s funny, Harold. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2082 Well, he sowed what he reaped. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2083 He always was a do it yourselfer! 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2084 It was inevitable. I went to Taxes funeral last week. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
2085 He's faking. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2086 I hope it's not contagious. 1.3243 0.06160 111 86 14 11
2087 Well then, I guess all that leaves us is taxes 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2088 Kind of redundant isn't it? 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2089 Faker. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2090 Like they say, what goes around comes around! 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2091 “ And right here we have our Deluxe Model that includes concierge service”. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2092 Goes to show you, nobody is irreplaceable. 1.3243 0.04816 111 77 32 2
2093 3. He died from sickle-cell anemia. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2094 Someone's going to kill for his job. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2095 Do you think it’ll be okay if I take up smoking again? 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2096 He looks so...self-satisfied 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2097 Guess we should rethink our retirement plan. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2098 Another iconic celebrity whose past finally caught up with them 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2099 He still looks grim to me. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2100 He looks almost lifelike. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2101 Who in the hell came to collect him? 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2102 Not a very good job. He looks like Death. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2103 You always told him to wear reflective gear at night, didn't you, dear? 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
2104 I know I'm stating the obvious here, but at least he's in his element. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2105 We're going to need a longer-term retirement plan, Harold. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2106 I told him not to binge watch the Ingmar Bergman marathon. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2107 I told him this job would take its toll on him. 1.3243 0.05145 111 79 28 4
2108 I told him that the tea was meant for you. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2109 You'd think they at least would have put a sport coat on him. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2110 Why are you so sure that you beat Death? Maybe I'm the one who beat Death. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
2111 Does this mean we'll be together forever? 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2112 Heard it was death by cliche. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2113 Well, at least we still have taxes. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2114 Like I was saying, the only real certainty is taxes. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2115 Well Bill, it looks like you're coming out of retirement again. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2116 Done. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2117 Was that custom-made, or is it one scythe fits all? 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
2118 He finally reaped what he sowed. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2119 Ironically, no one was more surprised than he himself. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2120 That's the last time we let that Goth kid dress the deceased. 1.3243 0.06291 111 87 12 12
2121 You'd think the undertaker could make him look a little more alive. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2122 Sure he falls asleep at work, but he is still our best employee hands down. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
2123 He was so full of life. 1.3243 0.04984 111 78 30 3
2124 I had just assumed it was Cheney... 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2125 And to think, I was afraid of him just yesterday. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2126 He’s not sleeping George, he’s waiting 1.3243 0.06025 111 85 16 10
2127 I guess it's true - you reap what you sow 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2128 Oh my. But wasn't it just the best Halloween party? 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2129 It never occurred to me that suicide was even an option. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2130 His job finally got to him. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2131 Doesn't he look just like himself? 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2132 I never thought it was possible, but he looks better dead than alive. And that damn smirk is gone! 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2133 His replacement is a drone. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2134 Oh, how the tables have turned! 1.3243 0.04984 111 78 30 3
2135 Now that's a real scythe of relief. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2136 I bet this isn’t the last we’ll see of him. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2137 They did such a good job. He looks so dead. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2138 He looks like himself 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2139 He looks just like Max von Sydow. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
2140 I guess we've got to cut our own wheat. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2141 Shut up John, this is NOT good news, not with our 401(k)! 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
2142 I guess he met his match! 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2143 That job was the death of him. 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2144 I guess "Until Death Do Us Part" no longer applies.... 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
2145 He wanted to know how it felt. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
2146 I'm not sure we put enough away for retirement. 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
2147 I warned him that the NRA would work him to death. 1.3217 0.05733 115 87 19 9
2148 Would it be wrong to put this on my Instagram feed? 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
2149 Hmph! He has to make it all about him. 1.3214 0.05842 112 85 18 9
2150 You know, death does become him. 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
2151 I can’t say I’m going to miss him 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
2152 Well I've seen grimmer. 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
2153 The closer you get, the less scary death is. 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
2154 Funny, I always thought I'd go first. 1.3214 0.05413 112 82 24 6
2155 You never think it’s ever going to happen to you... 1.3214 0.05107 112 80 28 4
2156 They did such a wonderful job on him - so dead-like. 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
2157 A clear case of conflict of interest. 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
2158 It was grim. He reaped what he sowed. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2159 Damnit Edna, does this mean I’m stuck with you for all eternity? 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2160 Well, Reap what you sow. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2161 I think he looks more glum than grim. 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
2162 That what happens if you wear a hoodie in Florida 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2163 He took on the Energizer Bunny 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2164 This is going to be a disaster for the funeral home business. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2165 Well I guess it's up to us now to wreak death and destruction. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2166 I want a divorce now that death can't do us apart. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2167 Well, we still have taxes. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2168 The coroner said it was suicide. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2169 Don't wake him up. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2170 He reaped what he reaped. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2171 OK, so how did our wedding vows end again? 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2172 "He always had a death wish". 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2173 Drama queen. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2174 Oh, he's not dead. He's just trying some role reversal 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2175 No longer the messenger. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2176 I told you he looks like Death. 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
2177 I guess there's only one thing that's certain. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2178 I'm pretty sure he's faking. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2179 Harry, what a beautiful job. He looks almost death-like. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2180 Why does he look so grim? 1.3211 0.06370 109 86 11 12
2181 Great. Now what the hell is going to do us part? 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2182 I don’t know how many times I warned him, that job was going to kill him. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2183 Would it be in bad taste to comment on the irony? 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2184 Turns out he had a twin. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2185 I understand his caption didn't make the final three. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2186 So, I guess he's now the Grim Sleeper. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2187 He's always napping on the job. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2188 I guess sometimes you can take it with you. 1.3211 0.06235 109 85 13 11
2189 I heard he killed himself. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2190 I'm feeling healthier already. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2191 ...And yet so life like 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2192 The made him up well. He looks less grim than I thought he would look! 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2193 He always had a dark sense of humor. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2194 He looks surprisingly lifelike. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2195 I always thought he worked for the CIA. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2196 His last words were "I want to take a selfie". 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2197 Apparently it's time to sow. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2198 Fake news. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2199 So I’m laying there in the ER and I said to him “I am rubber, you are glue”. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2200 It must have been all that kale. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2201 The Grim Reaper just can't keep up up these days with all the guns out there now. He said it was either him or the NRA had to go. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2202 Well, it really looks like what ye sow so shall ye reap. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2203 I wonder how he found out? 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2204 That's what happens when you define your life only by your job 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2205 Now, this IS the definition of ironic... 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2206 "Don't you have something better to do, ride a pale horse or something? 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2207 I guess taxes are the only certainty in life now. 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2208 Doesn’t look so grim any more, does he dear? 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2209 I guess there's something to be said about Karma after all Fred. 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
2210 This might be a good time to look at our retirement spending plan. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2211 One thing is now certain. We’re not paying our damn taxes. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2212 He doesn't look all that grim if you ask me. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2213 This reminds me of something from John Donne. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2214 I wanted the blue pin-stripe, but his will was very specific. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2215 But still, don’t you think it’s ironic ? 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2216 They say his last words were: "I shoulda voted for Hillary." 1.3211 0.06235 109 85 13 11
2217 He was all about his personal brand. 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
2218 I just can not believe it, he was such a good neighbor. He mostly kept to himself but he had a really great lawn. 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
2219 Well...what goes around comes around. 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
2220 He looks just like his dad. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2221 There goes 50% of everything we were certain of. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2222 You reap what you reap. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2223 "Not possible," said he. "Watch this," said he, all holier than thou. 1.3211 0.06097 109 84 15 10
2224 At least we can still count on taxes. . . 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
2225 He's so unlifelike. 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2226 He looks so much like your mother 1.3211 0.05956 109 83 17 9
2227 He said that he'd rather die than put up with another 2 years and 10 months of this misery. 1.3211 0.06235 109 85 13 11
2228 Oh, he looks so deathlike! 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2229 It's the only time I can look at him and feel relieved! 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
2230 So much for Plan A. I want a divorce. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2231 He was a good son but he did get some bad influences from your side of the family. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
2232 Don’t look so grim— you reap what you sow. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
2233 He'll be back before you know it. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
2234 It was just a matter of time. 1.3186 0.05518 113 84 22 7
2235 I told him the pot roast was to die for. 1.3186 0.05518 113 84 22 7
2236 Harold told me he was working nights, but this is was the last job I would have guessed. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
2237 So, after years of talking about it, he's finally taking his job seriously. 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
2238 So he reaped. 1.3182 0.06048 110 85 15 10
2239 Guess she finally found the killer app. 1.3182 0.06048 110 85 15 10
2240 You're right, death does become her. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
2241 He left so many loose ends. 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
2242 Considering all the funerals he attended, I just thought there would be a bigger turn out. 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
2243 Well, I won't miss his knock at the door! 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
2244 He sure had That coming. 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
2245 They say it was auto-necrotic asphyxiation. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
2246 Shame on you, falling asleep on the job! 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
2247 Taxes finally got the better of him. 1.3182 0.05155 110 79 27 4
2248 Who’s going to take over the family business? 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2249 An open casket, I thought you said he was Jewish? 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2250 I guess we're down to just taxes now. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2251 They did a great job of making him look dead. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2252 Jeff always had a flair for the dramatic. 1.3178 0.06313 107 84 12 11
2253 Does this mean we don't need life insurance? 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2254 If he had a face, this would have wiped that smug smile off it. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2255 Busman's holiday. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2256 Looks like we're stuck with each other for eternity. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2257 How much did you say is left in the retirement fund? 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2258 Now the only thing left to be certain of is taxes. 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
2259 Now all we have to worry about are taxes. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2260 We’re in big trouble. Looks like it even got too grim for The Reaper! 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2261 ...And he had so much to look forward to. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2262 Look at the bright side. This makes us immortal. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2263 Didn’t I say he was looking more grim than usual lately? 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
2264 It seems like overkill, if you ask me. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2265 Looks like the next international crisis will be overpopulation. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2266 They really captured his personality. 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
2267 He outlived all his friends. 1.3178 0.05074 107 76 28 3
2268 So much for the “scything is good cardiovascular” theory. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2269 I didn’t think he’d actually drop dead. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2270 Should we switch back to planning long-term? 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2271 His death certificate must make for ironic reading. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2272 I think he’s just playing dead. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
2273 Come to think of it, he was looking a bit grim just last week. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2274 If he's really dead , let's get face lifts . 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2275 Don’t get your hopes up . . . he’s already been reincarnated as a creepy beast with orange flesh and tiny hands. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2276 Well, you know what they say? You live by the scythe, you die by the scythe! 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2277 Maybe he’s just playing dead. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2278 Apparently, Death does becomes himself. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2279 I suppose that means we should sell the parlor, right? 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2280 ...well.......I suppose that proves it....what goes around DOES come around... 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
2281 If only taxes could be next… 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2282 I had never been able to define "irony." 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2283 Well, our retirement plan just went out the window. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2284 I hear his son, Tim Reaper, will be taking over the family business. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2285 I used to warn him, G.R., eventually you really do reap what you sow. 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
2286 If Taxes are next, we're all set! 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2287 He had so much life in him. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2288 His son, the Dim Reaper, is even worse! 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2289 I guess he reaped what he sowed 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2290 Mother was right. You reap what you sow. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2291 We may need a LOT more for retirement. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2292 Payback's a bitch. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2293 Ironic, isn't it? 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2294 With every Tom, Dick and Harry waving around an AR-15, he just couldn't compete. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2295 Well, the old guy finally got his due. 1.3178 0.06171 107 83 14 10
2296 We never were close. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
2297 I told him not to bring his work home. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
2298 They said his job was a real killer. 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
2299 "Take the hoodie off," I'd say. "Why? What could happen to ME?" he'd say. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2300 I'm sorry I wasted so many meals on kale. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2301 he loved that scythe 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
2302 I suspected he never planned to return our scythe. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2303 Karma's a bitch, ain't it? 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2304 Sheldon's sense of humor was an acquired taste. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
2305 Funny, I never thought of him as grim. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2306 Do you think he gave our name to his replacement? 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2307 Who's going to come for us now he's gone? 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2308 Death suits him. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2309 Now that's what I call overkill. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
2310 Thank god we won't have to see him at the Halloween party in that costume again. 1.3178 0.06027 107 82 16 9
2311 No. that's George. He wanted to be buried with his favorite hoodie and garden tool. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2312 I hit him with the pan. 1.3178 0.05571 107 79 22 6
2313 I hear that he left no survivors. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
2314 I'm not proud of it, but it was either him or me. 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
2315 What comes around,goes around. 1.3148 0.05831 108 82 18 8
2316 So...what does that mean for the rest of us? 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
2317 I still don’t understand irony, Fred. 1.3148 0.05978 108 83 16 9
2318 I knew taxes would catch up to him eventually. 1.3148 0.06397 108 86 10 12
2319 I guess we should call him the "grim sleeper" now. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
2320 That's it. We're never getting out of here. 1.3146 0.05671 89 64 22 3
2321 I begged him to get into farming... 1.3143 0.05296 105 76 25 4
2322 I always said that job would be the death of him. 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
2323 I always told him that job would be the death of him. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2324 OK Harvey. Now you may drive. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2325 Then it's true, you reap what you sow. Sad. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
2326 Is irony officially dead? 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
2327 This is grim. 1.3143 0.06393 105 83 11 11
2328 I knew we shouldn't have asked your brother to pick the burial outfit. 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
2329 It was either me or him. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2330 At least we are facing death together. 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
2331 He finally caught up with himself... 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2332 I have to say, I'm surprised I survived him. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2333 I was wondering where he slept 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2334 They did an amazing job. He looks so life like. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2335 He always said "What goes around comes around" 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2336 I guess this proves it: As ye sow, so shall ye reap. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2337 He should've quit while he was ahead. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2338 They did a terrible job on him, he looks like death warmed over. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2339 Told you I was a good chess player. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
2340 He loved that scythe more than life itself. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2341 Harold, this is so meta. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2342 He's the only guy I know who on his deathbed said he wished he'd worked more. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2343 There'd be more people here if he'd never visited them. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2344 Don’t feel guilty. It was him or us. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2345 Now only our taxes remain certain. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2346 Grim, yes, but a good provider. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2347 Well. I guess that means we’re stuck here. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2348 He looks like life warmed over. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2349 The mortician did a wonderful job. He looks much less imposing as the grim sleeper. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
2350 We always thought he'd be the last to go. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2351 Apparently his wife was fed up with snoring. 1.3143 0.05296 105 76 25 4
2352 Does this mean we're gonna be stuck in these bodies forever?! 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2353 Don’t ever mess with us again. Got it? 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2354 He died like he lived. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2355 Not looking so 'warmed over' anymore, are ya, pal . . . ? 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2356 I told him not to look in the mirror. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2357 Too bad he still has an ax to grind. Won't make it through the pearly gate metal detector. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
2358 He had a run-in with Father Time. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2359 Looks like the Trump's presidency is even too grim for the Reaper! 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2360 I guess that self-defense class paid off. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
2361 They did a great job. He looks just like he always has. 1.3143 0.06248 105 82 13 10
2362 He looks good warmed over, actually. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2363 Well, it's about time! 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2364 Doesn't it seem redundant? 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2365 Well, like they say, nothing lasts forever, 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2366 I happens even to the worst of us. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
2367 His life was cut short but personally I think he's got no one to blame but himself. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
2368 Marge, I guess you won the dead pool. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2369 I wonder who told him. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2370 Do you suppose this is our last wake, George? 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
2371 Karmic, don't ya think? 1.3119 0.05785 109 83 18 8
2372 Killer Presentation 1.3113 0.05744 106 80 19 7
2373 At least he didn’t suffer. 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
2374 I heard Bob from Accounting is set to replace him. 1.3113 0.05744 106 80 19 7
2375 It was a weed whacking accident. 1.3113 0.06196 106 83 13 10
2376 And I was really counting on ‘till death do us part.’ 1.3113 0.05899 106 81 17 8
2377 The Grim Sleeper 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
2378 She had the perfect outfit for every occasion. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2379 There goes our exit strategy! 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2380 He died as he lived: dead. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2381 Are we looking at eternity with each other? 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2382 Well, so much for 'Until Death Us Do Part' 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2383 They're saying it must have been suicide. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2384 He always took his work so personally. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2385 It's official, everyone we know is dead. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2386 OK, now it's his turn, let's wait three days and see what happens. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2387 It was a self-inflicted wound. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2388 I thought he'd live forever. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2389 DonT move andy closer, he may have one last whack. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2390 Do you think he saw it coming? 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2391 I told him this would happen if he touched himself. 1.3107 0.06327 103 81 12 10
2392 I guess we can cancel our life insurance policy now. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2393 Somehow I just never imagined he'd go before us. 1.3107 0.05168 103 74 26 3
2394 At least he passed doing something he loved. 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2395 We're seeing the end of the funeral industry right here. 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2396 This means eternal taxes. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2397 He always said he would be better off dead. 1.3107 0.05168 103 74 26 3
2398 Death seems to suit him. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2399 This undertaker has a reputation for being too literal in his fashion choices. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2400 Too bad. He worked himself to death. 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2401 Why are we the only ones here, Bonnie? 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2402 Karma can be a real bitch! 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2403 They traced the poison to Putin. 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2404 They always said he looked like death warmed over. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2405 Well that's another thing we don't have to worry about. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2406 I hear he was on holiday when it happened. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2407 That's going to be a lot of funeral home directors out of business. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2408 We told him it was a dead end job. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2409 I always warned him: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. 1.3107 0.05168 103 74 26 3
2410 At last, a smile..... 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2411 Cut down in his prime. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2412 I didn't see that one coming... 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2413 I didn't know he was even ill. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2414 Did he name a successor? 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2415 I understand it was a rapidly developed case of irony. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2416 'He looked like death anyway."" 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2417 I guess we can throw away those Living Wills, Arthur. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2418 Finally, a taste of his own medicine. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2419 I think he looks rather grim? 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2420 I always thought that scythe would be the death of him. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2421 I suppose we have to rethink our retirement savings... 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2422 He looks like death and is dressed to kill. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2423 He looks so dead. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2424 Did he resign? 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2425 Talk about a fall from grace. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2426 I knew this job would be the death of him. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2427 So what does this mean for taxes? 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2428 He was always so full of life 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2429 And apparently he didn't escape the IRS either... 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2430 I bet he never saw it coming. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2431 He must not have brought in enough business. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2432 Who knew 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2433 Rumor has it he went down swinging... 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2434 Goes around comes around 1.3107 0.06175 103 80 14 9
2435 I don’t know about you but this is the first time since I turned 70 that a don’t feel that sense of dreed. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2436 He finally met his match! 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2437 He thought everyone was cheating on him. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2438 I'm guessing the eulogy will be short. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2439 Poor thing... he just couldn't compete with the NRA anymore. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2440 He who lives by the scythe dies by the scythe. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2441 ...he never smiled like that.... 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2442 He says to me "Shirley, I have come..." then just collapses. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
2443 Don't get too close Helen." "This may be a trap. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2444 Marty, we're not paying our taxes this year. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2445 I guess the end was nearer than he thought. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2446 They captured his quirky sense of humor perfectly. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2447 Take that you rat bastard. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
2448 I guess we don't need that life insurance policy now. 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2449 It really does happen to everyone. 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
2450 Talk about your "Death warmed over." 1.3077 0.06122 104 81 14 9
2451 Don’t get too close. Being dead doesn’t stop this guy. 1.3077 0.05968 104 80 16 8
2452 Grim, very grim 1.3077 0.04941 104 74 28 2
2453 They say it was a self-inflicted wound. 1.3077 0.05306 104 76 24 4
2454 We must be dead. 1.3077 0.05479 104 77 22 5
2455 Well Bill, what goes around comes around." "Yeah Mary, and makes you wonder...... who tapped him on the shoulder? 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
2456 Who gave THAT order? 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2457 He said he couldn't take it any more--seen too much death. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2458 He went out with a scythe. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2459 We're still not safe. He just created a job opening. 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
2460 Black was never your mother's color. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2461 I did warn him Rupert Murdoch wouldn't play nice 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2462 No, he does not look proud. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2463 If this means the rest of us are immortal now, I’d like to take back something that I said during our wedding vows. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2464 He said that he couldn't take another minute of the Trump administration. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2465 Ya know this could be his big break. 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
2466 And I thought life was ironic! 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2467 Now we can finally rest in peace. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2468 I told him my "No soliciting" sign meant business. 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
2469 He was really showing his age. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2470 These Snicker’s commercials are really pushing the envelope. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2471 Apparently that's what 4 billion years without a day off will get you. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2472 ‘Now that’s what I call a dead end...” 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2473 It was early retirement that killed him. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2474 Cousin Ralph? Who knew? 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2475 Well, I guess there's no point in renewing our life insurance. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2476 My goodness, he’s all skin and bone. 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
2477 I heard it was sickle knell aenemia. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2478 That's OK. We really don't mind waiting. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2479 And don't forget, he was first in his class at Wharton. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2480 I knew his job would kill him 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2481 Is this ever going to play hell with Medicare funding. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2482 Ironically, he's never looked more lifelike. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2483 He won't be missed. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2484 I'm thinking, that might be as Grim as he gets. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2485 I don't know what possessed him to look in the mirror. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2486 Great Martha, now I have to deal with you forever" 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2487 It's sad, but a touch ironic, isn't it? 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2488 No, one scythe does not fit all. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2489 That's my Jerry; ironic to the very end." 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2490 I'm just not certain about anything anymore. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2491 Guess it was work that finally did him in. 1.3069 0.05023 101 72 27 2
2492 Bob always did have a flair for the macabre. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2493 So peaceful... he looks like he's reaping... 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2494 They said it was an unusual outbreak of 'sickle cell'. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2495 They always say, live by the scythe, die by the scythe. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2496 I thought there’d be a bigger turnout. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2497 What do ya know, karma does exist. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2498 I told you we'd regret opting for early retirement. 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
2499 Did you just see him wink at me? 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2500 Ironic. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2501 I saw him three months ago in Miami. He looked warmed over. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2502 I told him it was a bad sign when he was asked to train his replacement. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2503 Oh no! This means we will never part! 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2504 You have to give him credit. He reaped what he sowed. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2505 That's a relief. Now there's just the matter of taxes. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2506 So, I guess this means we're in for the long haul. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2507 I thought it was “til death do us part” not “til death does depart.” Does this mean we’re divorced? 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2508 I told you the chicken was bad. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2509 You never fully appreciate someone until they're gone. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2510 Well, I think it's fake news! 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
2511 I was sure he’d outlast taxes. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2512 Even death must take a holiday. 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2513 He picked the wrong one to come after. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2514 So Death, now you know where your sting is! 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
2515 I always thought we'd go before him. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2516 Hoisted by his own petard. 1.3069 0.05023 101 72 27 2
2517 Talk about overkill. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2518 I told him he shouldn't take his work home with him. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
2519 Do you think this is the last thing people usually see? 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
2520 As you reap, so shall you go. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2521 One would expect him to know not to text while reaping. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2522 I'm still confused. Who came to claim him? 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
2523 It happened very suddenly. But just before she died she let out a long scythe 1.3048 0.06071 105 82 14 9
2524 Still with the hood... 1.3039 0.06040 102 79 15 8
2525 Friendly fire. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2526 We need to rethink that reverse mortgage. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2527 I’ve outlived him, and I’ll outlive you! 1.3039 0.06198 102 80 13 9
2528 He always said he wanted to see how the other half dies. 1.3039 0.04983 102 73 27 2
2529 The world may know him as grim but he will always be our little snuffy. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
2530 He was a mystery, and now he’s inside an enigma, wrapped in a hoodie. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2531 How did they make him so death-like? 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2532 Can you believe that that was my 5th grade crush? 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2533 Now we know why he missed book club. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2534 It's a shame, really. He was going straight towards that detestable Mrs Finkelstein but he tripped and now this! 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2535 Not so grim now, are you? 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
2536 I told the folks at The New Yorker that they were overdoing the grim reaper thing, but would anyone listen to me?! 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2537 I know it's just a display, but I still think it's wrong. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2538 I’m gonna kill the guy who did this. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2539 He died of irony. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2540 And he thought he was invincible 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2541 I understand that he failed to pay his NRA dues. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2542 Ok, now taxes. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2543 Must have been suicide 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2544 I guess you reap what you sow - or is it the other way around? 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2545 And just two nights ago he seemed so well when he took Aunt Doris. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2546 So young...so much potential 1.3030 0.04642 99 69 30 0
2547 I'll say it: good riddance. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2548 What's next...taxes? 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2549 I told him not to mess with Chuck Norris. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2550 Worked himself to death. Sad. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2551 We'll always remember this day...April 1st! 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
2552 What a shame. I heard he wanted to be cremated. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2553 That's some slacking off there. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2554 No, Mildred, I do not think he looks a little like Morgan Freeman. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2555 I always warned him that you reap what you sow. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2556 I warned him that his job would be the death of him some day. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2557 He dug his own grave. 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
2558 I'm sorry, but I just can't pretend I'll miss him. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2559 He still looks so grim. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2560 I tell you, that Baltimore is one tough town. 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2561 Maybe we should consider long term care insurance. 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
2562 You wake him. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2563 He finally looks comfortable in his own skin. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2564 He's not dead. That's how he relaxes. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2565 It's grim. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2566 Holy crap! Does this mean we have to keep living? 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2567 Touché! 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2568 They say he was grim right to the end. 1.3030 0.06333 99 78 12 9
2569 I guess we can go back to cooking with schmaltz. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2570 Now that we're immortal, where do you want to go for lunch? 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2571 Oh Henry, how he loved that scythe. He took it everywhere with him. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2572 See what happens when you stop working? 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2573 I wonder if he also paid taxes? 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2574 He had so much more to reap! 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2575 Things are looking pretty good for the rest of us 1.3030 0.05459 99 73 22 4
2576 Who's going to come and get him? 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
2577 Looks warmed over. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2578 This is where he takes his naps. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2579 Damn, who's going to come for you now? 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2580 Well, Harold, it looks as though we'll be hanging around for awhile after all. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2581 Boy are we are getting old 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
2582 I told him not to take a holiday. 1.3000 0.05774 100 76 18 6
2583 Well, at least they made him look a little less grim. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
2584 He still looks so full of life! 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2585 He couldn't find Trump's soul and it destroyed him. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2586 I can't say I'll miss him. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2587 So much for my dream of widowhood. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2588 I had helped him pick out a nice blue pinstripe, but when was the last time he listened to his mother" 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2589 He died of uncontrollable grief believing that death and taxes were inevitable until he ran into the Republican upper class and their new tax reform bill 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2590 Now that’s a busman’s holiday. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2591 I suppose I should feel guilty, but it was either him or me. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2592 ‘Reaping ‘ what he sowed 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2593 He came knocking and I answered the door in my birthday suit. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2594 ...How were we related again? 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2595 He almost looks dead. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2596 Just think, he died on our doorstep. 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2597 The long hours. Endless travel. I think his job killed him in the end. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2598 Take the scythe, then we can have closure. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2599 Now that he's gone, do we still have to pay taxes? 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2600 Doris was always so overly dramatic. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2601 He would have appreciated the irony. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2602 I love a sales person who demonstrates the product. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2603 Seems like overkill. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2604 And I heard that Taxes is doing just fine. 1.2990 0.06416 97 77 11 9
2605 There’s no one who could take his place. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2606 Well, somewhere on the Styx Charon is going broke. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2607 Mort, I never liked him anyway 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2608 He had ONE job! 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2609 He looks so dead it’s hard to believe he’s gone. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2610 I guess this means we’ll never die. I want a divorce. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2611 But then his outlook brightened, so we knew it was only a matter of time. 1.2990 0.06581 97 78 9 10
2612 I guess it’s hard to make a living as a performance artist. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2613 Maybe he’ll be reincarnated as a comedian. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2614 Honey, did we miss the end of time? 1.2990 0.06416 97 77 11 9
2615 Speaking of certain, I'd hold off on paying our taxes. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2616 I'll miss his irony. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2617 He really felt suicide was his only way out. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2618 Does this nullify our vow, "'Til death do us part?" 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2619 And our pre-need package includes everything your soon-to-be-deceased loved one needs. 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2620 Our HR department is going to be lost without him. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2621 I’m feeling pretty overcome with sadness—but more so, irony. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2622 He's the last of a dying breed. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2623 I told him that job would be the death of him. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2624 Well, I say he was proud, and I say the hell with him. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2625 Looks like we beat the odds. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2626 But is it good for the Jews? 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2627 It's so ironic. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2628 It was his time, again. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2629 I guess we should start planning for our 100th anniversary. 1.2990 0.05317 97 71 23 3
2630 Uhoh, I don't think our insurance will cover us living for ever. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2631 Well ... it’s not like I was going to stop for him! 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2632 I can tell you one thing. I'm unloading my funeral home stocks. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2633 I feel bad --- but it was either him or me. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2634 It was him or us, dear. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2635 Does this mean I'll never get rid of you !!! 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2636 "The poor soul, he worked himself to death". 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2637 Boy, the new administration can do anything, first taxes, now this! 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2638 Does this mean we won't get our chance to get out of this godforsaken world? 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2639 At least he's in a deader place. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2640 Looks like he blew a casket. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2641 John Donne said this would happen. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2642 What makes you think it was suicide? 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2643 Even after death, his outfits are still a scythe for sore eyes. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2644 You know, he was the last one I ever thought would go. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2645 I guess we're stuck with each other for eternity now. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2646 Doesn't he look lifelike? 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2647 I wouldn't have expected "I'm rubber, you're glue" to work with him. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2648 I guess there is an expiration date for everything... 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2649 Suicide? No, it's just his favorite place to take a nap. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2650 He finally caught up with himself... 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2651 Now you can only count on taxes! 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2652 So, how'd he die? 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2653 If only he had retired earlier. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2654 He was less certain about about the deductability of his scythes as an unreimbursed business expense. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2655 He seemed like a nice enough visitor, but maybe we talked too much 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2656 They made him look so lifelike. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2657 I heard Kushner is applying for the job now that he lost his security clearance. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2658 Careful. He might be faking it. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2659 They say he clicked on SEND by mistake. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2660 I'm thinking of hang gliding. How about you? 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2661 It just goes to show...you reap what you sow. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2662 Got a pin? 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2663 I always told him, "Doug, don't run with a scythe." 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2664 Really? For me it just raises more questions. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2665 Oh dear! He certainly looks like Steve Bannon. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2666 I guess we won't be needing those plots anymore. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2667 Finally. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2668 He's in a similar place now. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2669 We just worked him to death, poor fellow. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2670 he was a tireless worker.....gotta' give him that....but I don't think he'll be missed... 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2671 Say what you will, he's leaving the world a better place. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2672 Live by the scythe...you know the rest. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2673 And we always wanted him to be a doctor. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2674 It's what he always wanted; he looks so life-like! 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2675 It's the irony of Death. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2676 Does this mean we can summer in Syria, if we want to? 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
2677 Till death do us part my ass. 1.2990 0.06416 97 77 11 9
2678 Well, it's just tragic he went before your mother. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2679 You should of seen the other guy. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2680 He spent his life preparing for this moment. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
2681 Suicide? 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
2682 Oh dear,now we have nothing to look forward to. 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2683 I prefer the one about one hand clapping 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2684 Told him not to take a selfie. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2685 He always preferred "lugubrious" to "grim." 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2686 Bad flu season. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2687 Larry we're just planning ahead, stop being so dramatic 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2688 Death is survived by Hope, Idiocy and Taxes. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2689 Part of his new empathy program. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2690 You were right. I shouldn’t have let him borrow the scythe. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2691 He said he wanted to spend more time with his family. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2692 That can't be Herman. He hated gardening. 1.2970 0.06060 101 79 14 8
2693 Now we can start working on taxes. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
2694 I kept telling him, "Herbie, you reap what you sow." But would he listen to me? N-o-o-o! 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
2695 Ugh. Guess we're in it for the long haul. 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
2696 As he kept saying, "We all have to go sometime." 1.2959 0.05068 98 71 25 2
2697 Steve Bannon, we hardly knew ye. 1.2959 0.06017 98 76 15 7
2698 Now we definitely have to revise that 'till death do us part' clause. 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
2699 Hopefully this is the last Death in the family. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
2700 It used to be that nothing was sure but death and taxes. Now President Trump has fixed both! 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
2701 It was so unexpected. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
2702 but Mildred,...the reverend said, "till death do us part". 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2703 He always had a strong death wish. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2704 So I guess this means we are stuck with each other forever now! 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
2705 He should have see it coming. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2706 He was a workaholic. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2707 Oh well, there goes population control... 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2708 I thought you said your uncle's name was Roper. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2709 All the undertakers are fretting about their job security. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2710 Oh, Lord. Does this mean we have to live forever now? 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2711 He looks happier than I have ever seen him!! 1.2947 0.06502 95 76 10 9
2712 I guess it's true what they say--you really do reap what you sow. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2713 He finally soweth'd one time too many. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2714 The next time he comes for me he better be carrying more than a scythe. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
2715 Well, it looks like you won't be getting that inheritance from your rich uncle after all. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2716 I guess we can finally get a divorce 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2717 He's just keeping it cold for the next guy 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2718 He was always so full of life 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2719 Our life insurance policy rates just went down. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2720 This can't be good for business?! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2721 I did tell Bobby not to go dressed like that to the Retirement Home, Ohh, he didn't have a chance. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2722 It's so sad. I heard he was on his way to the White House with an order of Big Macs. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2723 I talked to him just last week. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2724 Hmm...I think I'll take up skydiving. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2725 Well, yes, I suppose it does seem obvious; I'm just saying I was kind of surprised when Millie told me he took his own life. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2726 I guess this means we can buy green bananas again 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2727 You really need to get that flu shot. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2728 This is a problem for Stephen Hawking. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2729 He's so unlifelike. 1.2947 0.06502 95 76 10 9
2730 I told him to get a flu shot! 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2731 No thoughts and prayers this time. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
2732 Reap what you sow, eh? 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2733 Your brother the exterminator, a joker to the end. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2734 He wrote in his Advanced Directive that he wanted to be buried with it. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2735 There may be some lingering resentment. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2736 Oh Ethel, I think your three months at the hospital really wore him out 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2737 That reminds me, did you file for an extension yet? 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2738 Do we still pay taxes? 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2739 I know you didn't like your ex-wife but dressing her like that was overkill. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
2740 He lived for his work. 1.2947 0.05157 95 69 24 2
2741 That was no way to live anyway. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2742 It was me or him. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2743 The funeral home industry is going to take a big hit. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2744 Outside of work, he wasn't grim at all. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2745 Don't get too close. 1.2947 0.05157 95 69 24 2
2746 The mortician did a fine job, but the blacksmith really outdid him. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2747 'He doesn't look so grim.' 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2748 Does this mean we have to go back to work? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2749 Do not say he didn't deserve this. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2750 He had no work-life balance. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2751 I guess he didn't want to wait for Trump to kill us with the end of the world 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2752 She was never one for subtlety, was she? 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2753 No need to feel guilty. It was him or you. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
2754 Does this mean we're immortal? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2755 Well he said in his line of work retirement was not possible. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2756 I don't know. The death of death means I'll never get rid of these bunions. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2757 He's in a better place. 1.2947 0.06502 95 76 10 9
2758 I'm a terrible sister for saying it, but Helen always had to be the best at everything. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2759 Does this mean we're stuck here? 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2760 He just never fit in! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2761 I'll never forget his last words: "Here, hold my scythe." 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
2762 Meta. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2763 Self Referential for sure 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2764 No Kevin, this isn't ironic. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2765 Gosh, you really do reap what you sow. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2766 I hear he took his own life. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2767 Didn’t he have any other outfits? 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2768 He looks pretty grim. 1.2941 0.06658 85 67 11 7
2769 Taxes is inconsolable. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2770 No worries now, adding Bhutan and Bora Bora to our bucket list. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2771 I guess this is because I could not stop for him. 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
2772 He sacrificed his life to the job and they couldn't bury the man in a decent suit? 1.2929 0.05026 99 72 25 2
2773 The slide show has his greatest hits 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2774 Heckuva chess player, though... 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2775 Our retirement funds are not going to be sufficient! 1.2921 0.05104 89 64 24 1
2776 I told you that life insurance policy was a waste. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
2777 Millennials really have killed everything now, haven't they? 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
2778 Boy, that self-defense course really paid off. 1.2917 0.06441 96 77 10 9
2779 I am told that yes, he paid taxes too. 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
2780 No, he does not look so lifelike. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
2781 Does this mean we're stuck together...forever? 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2782 THEY SAY HE WAS RUN OVER BY A HEARSE! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2783 I wonder if his heirs will reap what he sowed. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2784 Well, he certainly reaped what he sewed! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2785 That’s why you shouldn’t take your work home with you, Dan. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
2786 I don't think he saw it coming. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
2787 If he’d been packing, he’d be alive today. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2788 Yea, so about that whole ‘til death do us part’ thing... 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
2789 I know it's a lot worse this year, Doris, but I'm not sure a flu shot would have helped. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2790 OMG! I cancelled long-term care last week 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2791 Well, Carl, I guess that extended warranty on the Chevy was a good idea after all. 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
2792 So now, who comes for us? 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
2793 And you just had to go and spend a fortune on life insurance! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2794 I don’t know, Herbert. Somewhere between relief and wondering who his heirs are...” 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
2795 Well, at least he is being buried with his scythe; his kids would have fought over who got that damn thing forever. 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2796 They did a terrible job- he looks like Death warmed over! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2797 Overdressed, as usual... 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
2798 The coroner's report said suicide. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2799 I guess business will slow down for a while. 1.2903 0.05203 93 68 23 2
2800 Living forever is definitely going to wreak havoc on our financial planning. 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
2801 Such a wonderful job restoring his natural pal