Contest #604


Cartoon

604


Name Value
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Number of captions
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Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Trust me. One day your portrait will be used as the symbol of a political party even more primitive than we are. 1.8205 0.01805 2095 936 599 560
1 I know what you're thinking -- don't quit hunting and gathering. 1.7951 0.01565 2509 1080 863 566
2 Well, if you want a record of your existence, it’s either this or the tar pits. 1.7870 0.01449 3024 1350 968 706
3 You should have seen my parents when I told them I didn't want to be a hunter OR a gatherer. 1.7854 0.01398 3159 1386 1065 708
4 I'm calling it "The Elephant in the Room" 1.7851 0.01487 2834 1257 929 648
5 It's SUPPOSED to be primitive! 1.7663 0.01578 2358 1032 845 481
6 Don't worry, it's just a cave painting. No one will ever see it. 1.7633 0.01991 1407 598 544 265
7 The drawing is the easy part. It's coming up with a caption that's tough. 1.7571 0.01466 2865 1314 933 618
8 It will be worth more when you're extinct. 1.7553 0.01982 1549 707 514 328
9 How do you know it doesn't look like you? 1.7543 0.01397 3085 1400 1043 642
10 One day you’ll be the symbol of a major political party. So, turn your head, lose all of your perspective, and don’t move one step forward. 1.7421 0.02144 1423 696 398 329
11 As best as I can remember, this is what she looks like. Do you want me to arrange a date or not? 1.7392 0.01954 1507 681 538 288
12 Don't worry - no one will see this in a million years. 1.7342 0.01464 2773 1290 930 553
13 Your nose IS big. 1.7314 0.02098 1385 658 441 286
14 Laugh now, but in a few thousand years people will go nuts for this stuff. 1.7209 0.01922 1501 684 552 265
15 Excuse me, you ARE the elephant in the room. 1.7061 0.02027 1446 704 463 279
16 What do you mean "what is it"? 1.7037 0.02016 1448 704 469 275
17 I AM making your nose look smaller. 1.6957 0.01690 1932 916 688 328
18 Fire is easy. Art is hard. 1.6867 0.01841 1631 786 570 275
19 Stand still...you keep on moving too far to the right. 1.6864 0.02373 1100 567 311 222
20 Of course it’s a nude. 1.6713 0.02572 870 440 276 154
21 You're so vain, you probably think this wall is about you. 1.6683 0.02050 1426 742 415 269
22 Don't worry. I'll make your tusks longer. 1.6617 0.02962 606 298 215 93
23 Primitive? Compared to what? 1.6571 0.01600 2222 1143 698 381
24 No, you will not be extinct before I am done! 1.6501 0.02137 1249 651 384 214
25 OK, I'm done, you can put your clothes back on. 1.6458 0.01850 1728 925 490 313
26 What do you want from me, it's the Ice Age not the Renaissance. 1.6388 0.02089 1218 623 412 183
27 What did you think you looked like? 1.6387 0.01970 1334 673 470 191
28 I think I'll call it 'The elephant in the room' 1.6372 0.01728 1902 1010 572 320
29 Oh don't be such a prima-mastadonna 1.6359 0.02122 1255 666 380 209
30 Don't worry, the cave wall always adds ten pounds. 1.6255 0.02269 1044 549 337 158
31 Quit complaining! You were the one who said you would model for peanuts. 1.6200 0.02087 1200 628 400 172
32 Would it kill you to smile? 1.6190 0.01878 1551 832 478 241
33 What do you mean it looks 'primitive? 1.6173 0.02155 1121 588 374 159
34 Which one of us has an art degree from Pre-Columbia? 1.6143 0.02068 1286 697 388 201
35 Well of course it looks primitive! 1.6084 0.01637 2030 1105 615 310
36 The lighting is perfect. Just don't stamp it out again. 1.6035 0.02300 976 522 319 135
37 You said 'passport sized', right? 1.6007 0.04245 298 163 91 44
38 What do you mean "what is it"? 1.5890 0.02003 1326 737 397 192
39 It's called an emoji. It's going to be huge. 1.5873 0.02356 979 551 281 147
40 Stop being so hard on yourself. You're just big-boned. 1.5844 0.01891 1381 747 461 173
41 Maybe you can work from memory but I can't. 1.5784 0.02147 1129 632 341 156
42 Is this the animal you saw leaving the scene? 1.5764 0.02382 916 514 276 126
43 It’s the first painting ever—cut me some slack. 1.5750 0.02026 1193 653 394 146
44 YES, almost there! You are the BIGGEST! You are the STRONGEST! You are the PROUDEST! Hold that! Love it.......L-O-V-E, LOVE IT! 1.5727 0.02093 1156 645 360 151
45 Everybody's a critic. You've got four legs, a big nose, and you're fat, what am I missing here? 1.5670 0.02164 1074 603 333 138
46 i know it's not realistic, I'm going through a primitive period. 1.5668 0.02128 1071 592 351 128
47 I know it's a little crude, this is my first mammoth undertaking. 1.5616 0.02482 796 446 253 97
48 And this is what you'll look like after surgery. 1.5573 0.02349 951 553 266 132
49 Stop it. We haven’t invented perspective yet. 1.5571 0.02258 937 523 306 108
50 You'll thank me for this when you're extinct. 1.5571 0.02318 937 535 282 120
51 So sometimes, when two elephants love each other very, very much . . . 1.5567 0.02771 706 417 185 104
52 Remember, once you post it, you can’t take it down. 1.5538 0.02250 901 496 311 94
53 You should have gone to the bathroom before I started. 1.5528 0.02412 861 494 258 109
54 You'll look mammoth, once I draw some tiny trees. 1.5519 0.02455 877 516 238 123
55 Yes, very funny. Elephant in the room. I get it. Now can you just hold still? 1.5500 0.02375 860 489 269 102
56 Yes, your tail is that small. 1.5498 0.02362 864 490 273 101
57 OK! This angle does make you look fat! 1.5446 0.02516 762 436 237 89
58 I call it "the elephant in the room". 1.5437 0.02613 800 484 197 119
59 You want me to make you look woollier? 1.5429 0.02392 792 443 268 81
60 I promise, you won't look a day over Pleistocene. 1.5429 0.02497 792 459 236 97
61 Try to look more endangered. 1.5399 0.02415 776 436 261 79
62 Of course it's not perfect. I'm evolving; you're not. 1.5367 0.02612 736 434 209 93
63 I know I can't draw, but I did just invent fire. 1.5330 0.02633 696 406 209 81
64 So I told my folks, I don't want to hunt or gather, I just wanna follow my passion for whatever this thing is that I'm doing. 1.5318 0.02602 707 412 214 81
65 I'm more of a painter-gatherer. 1.5284 0.02668 670 392 202 76
66 Don't worry I will caption it "not actual size." 1.5274 0.02678 658 384 201 73
67 People are gonna to see this ten thousand years from now, and that's the face you wanna make? 1.5272 0.02717 662 392 191 79
68 Good. Hold that pensive look. 1.5250 0.02677 600 339 207 54
69 I look like an animal cracker. 1.5248 0.02868 644 396 158 90
70 So...does this look like the kid who sprayed you. 1.5243 0.02772 639 381 181 77
71 ..No it doesn't make you look fat. 1.5223 0.02800 628 376 176 76
72 'Primitive' is exactly what I'm going for. 1.5205 0.02753 611 358 188 65
73 Calm down! It’s not like anyone is ever going to see it. 1.5197 0.02786 610 361 181 68
74 When I'm done, you can write the caption. 1.5169 0.02898 592 359 160 73
75 Your nose IS big. 1.5163 0.02952 583 357 151 75
76 Cut me some slack! I am still getting used to this opposable thumb. 1.5162 0.02897 587 355 161 71
77 Stand still please ,this is for the top of the Republican memo and I want at least one thing on it to be accurate. 1.5134 0.02997 561 344 146 71
78 I AM addressing the elephant in the room! 1.5132 0.03066 567 356 131 80
79 This is so you don't forget. 1.5132 0.02899 567 340 163 64
80 I asked for fierce, don’t give me pouty. 1.5125 0.02803 560 326 181 53
81 Relax, only my friends can see the pictures I post on my wall. 1.5117 0.03053 555 345 136 74
82 Quit complaining. If you wanna be famous, it's either this, or the tar pit. 1.5117 0.02967 555 337 152 66
83 30,000 years from now you’ll be famous. Now hold still! 1.5114 0.02848 569 338 171 60
84 Now these spear throwers I am about to add - its just a bit of artistic license and nothing for you to be concerned about. 1.5100 0.02994 551 337 147 67
85 No it does not look like an ant eater! 1.5092 0.02917 542 323 162 57
86 They say the cave adds 10 pounds... 1.5083 0.03010 539 329 146 64
87 This will be mammoth! 1.5083 0.03002 541 330 147 64
88 No, I did not make your trunk look small. 1.5083 0.03036 541 333 141 67
89 You'll thank me when you're extinct. 1.5066 0.03102 531 331 131 69
90 And the other restroom will have a lady mammoth 1.5064 0.03025 549 340 140 69
91 Why do you need a passport picture in the first place? 1.5029 0.03154 509 318 126 65
92 Well yes, it is primitive. 1.5029 0.02965 509 303 156 50
93 It’s not my fault, cave drawings always add ten pounds! 1.5000 0.03065 498 303 141 54
94 It'll be worth a lot more once you're extinct. 1.4990 0.03090 501 308 136 57
95 You'll thank me when you're extinct. 1.4990 0.03186 489 305 124 60
96 What do you mean your right side is your best side? 1.4980 0.03047 490 296 144 50
97 It's an aboriginal. 1.4957 0.03241 470 294 119 57
98 Relax, it isn't like anyone will ever see this. 1.4935 0.03258 464 291 117 56
99 Would you like the asteroid strike or the tar pit background? 1.4912 0.03372 456 293 102 61
100 How would you know what you look like? 1.4912 0.03326 454 288 109 57
101 This is no easy tusk. 1.4901 0.03530 453 302 80 71
102 Who said it was supposed to be you? 1.4900 0.03026 449 265 148 36
103 Don't worry, the cave always adds ten pounds. 1.4888 0.03191 448 275 127 46
104 What do you mean, 'two-dimensional'? 1.4888 0.03064 448 267 143 38
105 It's a little primitive, but... 1.4886 0.03233 440 271 123 46
106 Derivative? How is that even possible? 1.4860 0.03321 430 269 113 48
107 All the Mastodons are having their tusks airbrushed out. 1.4849 0.03079 431 256 141 34
108 Can you look a little more vulnerable? This is for my "extinction" series. 1.4849 0.03199 431 263 127 41
109 Fiercer. More anger. You hate me. You want me dead. Good ! 1.4848 0.03391 429 273 104 52
110 Make up your mind - trunk up or trunk down 1.4847 0.03144 425 255 134 36
111 Except, technically you’re not an elephant, and this isn’t a room. 1.4835 0.03185 424 257 129 38
112 How do you expect me to work in these primitive conditions? 1.4824 0.03098 427 255 138 34
113 Okay, you can get dressed and go now. And when you leave, would you ask the guy with the spear to come in? 1.4822 0.03253 421 259 121 41
114 The hard part is to capture the feeling of 'an elephant in the room'. 1.4822 0.03322 421 263 113 45
115 Do you want honesty, or do you want me to take some off the rump? 1.4819 0.03340 415 259 112 44
116 Please try to duplicate the facial expression you had yesterday, Mona. 1.4819 0.03374 415 261 108 46
117 How do you know it doesn't look like you? 1.4819 0.03591 415 274 82 59
118 Frankly, the elevated trunk makes you look younger 1.4806 0.03213 412 250 126 36
119 This is your best side, believe me . 1.4806 0.03250 412 252 122 38
120 Yes, you’ve already mentioned your image adorns the Caves of Lascaux. 1.4805 0.03422 410 260 103 47
121 You know who else complained that it takes too long? That’s right, the dinosaurs. 1.4791 0.03333 407 253 113 41
122 Okay, okay. This time I’ll draw you chasing me. 1.4776 0.03269 402 246 120 36
123 What did you expect? I'm a Neanderthal. 1.4776 0.03250 402 245 122 35
124 I will NOT make you wooly! 1.4775 0.03144 400 238 133 29
125 Couldn't you have done that outside? 1.4774 0.03369 398 248 110 40
126 Did I mention you were my first nude? 1.4774 0.03479 398 254 98 46
127 I'm calling it Plato's Republican. 1.4761 0.03467 397 253 99 45
128 It’s my first nude too. 1.4758 0.03456 393 249 101 43
129 Funding in the arts has really caved since we "made America great again." 1.4758 0.03585 393 256 87 50
130 Don't complain. My last model worked for just peanuts. 1.4745 0.03288 392 240 118 34
131 OK, OK. I'll draw that big, too. 1.4742 0.03352 388 240 112 36
132 What do you mean, "It's derivative?" 1.4704 0.03537 372 237 95 40
133 You're not tiny--you're in the distance. 1.4692 0.03631 373 243 85 45
134 I paint what I see. You want five eyes on sideways, you know where Pablo's cave is. 1.4688 0.03640 369 240 85 44
135 Hold still! Remember, you’re the symbol of the party that took us all back to the Stone Age! 1.4685 0.03628 365 236 87 42
136 No, you don’t look fat in this picture. 1.4685 0.03480 365 229 101 35
137 I'm gonna put feathers on it, just to mess with them. 1.4681 0.03589 376 244 88 44
138 Yes, it’s primitive, but years from now, they’ll love it 1.4677 0.03557 372 239 92 41
139 Relax, no one is ever going to see this. 1.4676 0.03612 370 240 87 43
140 I'm going to paint in some people with spears so nobody knows I let you in here like this." 1.4670 0.03421 364 226 106 32
141 Of course it doesn't look like you. It's an interpretation. 1.4670 0.03421 364 226 106 32
142 They pin the tusks on at the party. 1.4669 0.04122 287 187 66 34
143 Based on your ultrasound this is what you’re baby looks like today. 1.4656 0.03621 363 235 87 41
144 You might like this one. She enjoys long walks on the beach, and, of course, wants a big family. 1.4656 0.03558 363 232 93 38
145 If I had a longer stick we could both be in it. 1.4651 0.03515 372 238 95 39
146 Contrapposto? Not in a million years. 1.4639 0.03356 360 221 111 28
147 The first elphie. 1.4629 0.03562 350 222 94 34
148 May I suggest the economy package. 8x10's for the Grandparents. 5x7's for close family and 3x5's for the herd. 1.4613 0.03380 349 214 109 26
149 So, is this your first trip to Lascaux? 1.4611 0.03490 347 217 100 30
150 You should have thought of that before you agreed to pose nude. 1.4593 0.03744 344 226 78 40
151 Give me a break. I just learned how to make fire. 1.4591 0.03621 342 219 89 34
152 It doesn’t look like much now but wait 50,000 years. 1.4591 0.03574 342 217 93 32
153 Someday, elephant in the room will have a whole new meaning. 1.4565 0.03691 333 215 84 34
154 This way you'll be preserved for thousands of years. But without all the tar. 1.4562 0.03607 331 210 91 30
155 How long were the assailant's tusks? 1.4562 0.03530 331 207 97 27
156 I suppose you want longer tusks? 1.4562 0.03451 331 204 103 24
157 More pouty. 1.4545 0.03589 330 209 92 29
158 What do you mean "your good side"? 1.4545 0.03764 330 216 78 36
159 Yes - your ass really looks that big. 1.4540 0.03682 337 219 83 35
160 Oh, great, the first critic. 1.4537 0.03529 324 202 97 25
161 Yes, you are the elephant in the room. 1.4527 0.03674 338 220 83 35
162 I'm glad you're ash gray. That's the only color I've got. 1.4520 0.03798 323 212 76 35
163 How do you feel about becoming a symbol for a group of assholes? 1.4520 0.04114 323 225 50 48
164 And here we have a rendering of what you'll look like after the tusk reduction surgery. 1.4511 0.03850 317 209 73 35
165 Trust me, no one will ever see it. 1.4511 0.03798 317 207 77 33
166 Sure, it's small but one day you'll be considered mammoth. 1.4511 0.03439 317 194 103 20
167 You claimed I didn't know what I was doing when I mastered fire either. 1.4494 0.03858 316 209 72 35
168 You don't charge. I don't charge. That's the deal. 1.4494 0.03753 316 205 80 31
169 I know it's primitive, I'm a Neanderthal. 1.4487 0.03732 312 201 82 29
170 You really think anyone's going to care in 10,000 years how big your tusks look? 1.4487 0.03841 312 205 74 33
171 Would it kill you to smile? 1.4484 0.03886 310 205 71 34
172 Oh, I’m no Picasso? Well, you’re no Babar. 1.4481 0.03850 308 202 74 32
173 Okay, okay. So now we ARE addressing the elephant in the room. 1.4444 0.03836 297 193 76 28
174 Jenna, the smartest elephant in her herd, endures the first known instance of mansplaining. 1.4430 0.04110 298 204 56 38
175 I know what you are thinking. It looks cartoonish. 1.4430 0.03884 298 196 72 30
176 Whad'ya say we add an extra horn just to keep them guessing? 1.4426 0.03903 296 195 71 30
177 Hold that pose, the light off the advancing ice sheet is just perfect! 1.4426 0.03814 296 192 77 27
178 Is there anything else that comes to mind about the perpetrator? 1.4411 0.03922 297 197 69 31
179 Maybe this doesn't look like you but your party doesn't look like you anymore. 1.4407 0.04085 295 201 58 36
180 Because a man gets lonely, Sheila, that’s why! 1.4407 0.03822 295 192 76 27
181 Hold still and don't sneeze. 1.4407 0.03882 295 194 72 29
182 This will be worth millions once you are extinct. 1.4407 0.03792 295 191 78 26
183 I know. It's not my best. At least it won't be up there forever. 1.4407 0.03852 295 193 74 28
184 The little arrows? Don't worry, they're purely decorative. 1.4407 0.03852 295 193 74 28
185 This is the first baby picture I took of you 1.4403 0.03654 293 185 87 21
186 I'm leaving off the tusks for your own protection. 1.4394 0.03940 289 191 69 29
187 I'll never finish my masterpiece, "Under the Tusk and Sun" if you keep blocking my light! 1.4388 0.03769 294 190 79 25
188 It may not look like much now, but give it 10,000 years! 1.4388 0.03831 294 192 75 27
189 Relax, this is just my rough draft. No one's going to see this. 1.4388 0.03831 294 192 75 27
190 I'm calling this the Mammoth Lisa 1.4375 0.03949 288 191 68 29
191 Less toothy. 1.4375 0.04215 288 200 50 38
192 No one thinks tusk size has any correlation to that. 1.4375 0.03918 288 190 70 28
193 I had to use ashes, spit and berries...it'll never last. 1.4375 0.03695 288 183 84 21
194 No, I didn't go to art school. Did you go to elephant school? 1.4366 0.03697 284 180 84 20
195 Yes, you have to be naked. 1.4357 0.03834 280 181 76 23
196 I’m still not sure about the pearl earring. 1.4355 0.04079 287 195 59 33
197 Fine, I'll leave out the guys with spears. 1.4332 0.03759 277 177 80 20
198 Your kin will be the mascots for an extinct political party in a less evolved society. 1.4332 0.04279 277 193 48 36
199 You won't be offended if I depict myself chasing you with a spear. 1.4327 0.03982 275 182 67 26
200 Are you sure you only want the wallet sizes? 1.4307 0.03428 267 161 97 9
201 Now point to where he touched you. 1.4301 0.04113 272 184 59 29
202 'I can give you hair – no one's going to know for sure.' 1.4301 0.04113 272 184 59 29
203 To document our elephant in the room. 1.4301 0.03875 272 177 73 22
204 OK , in this scene we will be hunting you. Can you give me your scared face? 1.4291 0.04157 268 182 57 29
205 Simple? Yes, but primitive sells. 1.4286 0.04111 266 179 60 27
206 Lighten up. One day you won't be fat, you'll be mammoth. 1.4280 0.04203 264 180 55 29
207 Smile, this one's for the ages. 1.4280 0.04099 264 177 61 26
208 Of course it doesn't look like you! I'm an Impressionist! 1.4275 0.04191 262 178 56 28
209 Come on, think.... We'll never get her back if you can't remember more details! 1.4270 0.03959 267 176 68 23
210 Five more minutes and you can put the robe back on. 1.4259 0.03660 263 165 84 14
211 All I have is gray. 1.4253 0.03986 261 172 67 22
212 Okay, now what's the caption? 1.4253 0.04095 261 175 61 25
213 Trust me, this is a better way to be frozen in time. 1.4247 0.03077 259 149 110 0
214 It's a cartoon. Say something funny and I'll write it underneath. 1.4247 0.04007 259 171 66 22
215 No, you won't be extinct before I finish! 1.4247 0.04154 259 175 58 26
216 You seem tense. Is this the first time you’ve posed nude? 1.4247 0.04260 259 178 52 29
217 But you are fat. 1.4247 0.03893 259 168 72 19
218 Someday you'll become a symbol of political corruption and everyone will want to know where it all began. 1.4242 0.04234 264 182 52 30
219 Yes, your nose is that big. 1.4237 0.04083 262 176 61 25
220 It’s very post-neanderthal 1.4221 0.03888 263 172 71 20
221 You really want to make that face? This might be on the wall for some time. 1.4219 0.03961 256 168 68 20
222 I said, 'Listen, Dad, there's more to life than just hunting and gathering.' 1.4211 0.04101 247 164 62 21
223 I have an exhibit opening upriver at Lascaux next month. 1.4211 0.03853 247 158 74 15
224 I can’t pay you but it’ll be great exposure! 1.4206 0.04082 252 168 62 22
225 Mind if I make it more dramatic and draw myself as hunting you? 1.4194 0.04245 248 169 54 25
226 Can you give me an enigmatic smile? 1.4187 0.03947 246 160 69 17
227 Yes Mr. President, your tusks will be bigger than your predecessors. 1.4187 0.04270 246 168 53 25
228 I'm telling ya, this IS your good side. 1.4180 0.04073 256 172 61 23
229 Yeah, extinction sucks. But cave art is forever. 1.4163 0.03738 245 155 78 12
230 Because you ARE fat! 1.4163 0.04319 245 169 50 26
231 No I can't give you an enigmatic smile. 1.4163 0.03956 245 160 68 17
232 It's the best I can do under such primative circumstances. 1.4160 0.04164 238 159 59 20
233 In a thousand years, no one will care what you actually looked like. 1.4156 0.04020 243 160 65 18
234 It's an ELEPHANT... how could you not GET that! 1.4156 0.04345 243 168 49 26
235 Yes, I do think it captures your "inner mastodon"! 1.4153 0.03922 236 152 70 14
236 I'm working as fast as I can. This is a mammoth undertaking. 1.4149 0.04042 241 159 64 18
237 Noah suggested we leave pictures of anyone not planning to meet him at the ark tomorrow. 1.4142 0.03797 239 152 75 12
238 Of course it's 'primitive!' 1.4142 0.04108 239 159 61 19
239 ... And this is you after rhinoplasty. 1.4142 0.04357 239 165 49 25
240 How do you know you don't look exactly like this? 1.4142 0.04065 239 158 63 18
241 I promise. I'll make the tusks really big. 1.4142 0.04317 239 164 51 24
242 Evidence that early media was biased towards Republicans 1.4142 0.04477 239 168 43 28
243 What do you mean, “this is taking ages”? 1.4142 0.04234 239 162 55 22
244 No picture, no boarding. Direct orders from Noah. 1.4128 0.04451 235 164 45 26
245 We should also post your likes, dislikes, hobbies...looking to settle down, or just want to have some fun? 1.4120 0.04396 233 161 48 24
246 Try to look more Paleolithic... 1.4113 0.03576 231 142 83 6
247 Again, could you just try to look a little more wooly and, you know, mammoth? 1.4113 0.03780 231 146 75 10
248 Everybody wants bigger tusks! 1.4110 0.04395 236 164 47 25
249 Be patient...this is a mammoth undertaking. 1.4095 0.04146 232 155 59 18
250 Well if your memory is so great, why don't you draw her? 1.4095 0.04190 232 156 57 19
251 Yes, Thag. I'm adding the tusks, and yes, they'll be "the biggest ones anyone has ever seen." Geez, you'd think this was a presidential portrait. 1.4095 0.04533 232 164 41 27
252 Yes it's primitive. I suppose that's to be expected. 1.4093 0.03620 237 148 81 8
253 Don't move, and don't go extinct on me. 1.4093 0.04128 237 159 59 19
254 No you're not adopted. Look, here's a picture of you when we brought you home. 1.4087 0.04348 230 158 50 22
255 Goose me one more time, and I'm outta here! 1.4087 0.04644 230 165 36 29
256 Yes, you really look like this. 1.4087 0.04078 230 152 62 16
257 Fine! I'll make it bigger! 1.4087 0.04031 230 151 64 15
258 It does NOT make you look like a mammoth. 1.4087 0.04304 230 157 52 21
259 I'll have you know that I trained at Lascaux. 1.4087 0.04435 230 160 46 24
260 Now move your legs like you're running. 1.4085 0.04063 235 156 62 17
261 Yes, your nose is that big. 1.4085 0.04152 235 158 58 19
262 You can wear the pearl earrings next time. 1.4085 0.04365 235 163 48 24
263 I don't care what Adam named you; I'm calling you Babar. 1.4079 0.04195 228 153 57 18
264 Make your best "I'm about to go extinct" face. 1.4079 0.04148 228 152 59 17
265 This is going to be prehistoric! 1.4079 0.04591 228 162 39 27
266 No, I don’t think they look too small. 1.4079 0.03859 228 146 71 11
267 I think the small tusks make you look younger. 1.4079 0.04240 228 154 55 19
268 Don't be silly. The cave wall always adds 10 extra pounds. 1.4076 0.04114 238 160 59 19
269 I can have it ready in about an hour but copies will run you extra. 1.4071 0.03829 226 144 72 10
270 Give me that faraway look 1.4069 0.04333 231 159 50 22
271 If you say "primitive" one more time . . . 1.4068 0.04224 236 161 54 21
272 Primitive, I know! What do you expect? 1.4068 0.04224 236 161 54 21
273 Yes I will make your tusks look mammoth 1.4068 0.04350 236 164 48 24
274 Is "Ceci n'est Pas Un Mammoth" too pretentious? 1.4054 0.04223 222 149 56 17
275 Yes I smell it, very funny. 1.4054 0.04126 222 147 60 15
276 I won't charge if you don't. 1.4053 0.04431 227 158 46 23
277 A little to the right, please? Oh, I see... you're about as far right as an elephant can be. 1.4045 0.04100 220 145 61 14
278 Thanks for posing for me...and don't worry about what 'menu' means. 1.4037 0.04516 218 152 44 22
279 Yes, it is supposed to look like it was painted by a caveman. 1.4036 0.04208 223 150 56 17
280 Primitive? I call it contemporary. 1.4027 0.04424 221 153 47 21
281 Tusks down, just a little and try to look coquettish. 1.4027 0.04168 226 152 57 17
282 Let's screw with their heads a few thousand years from now and give you a sombrero! 1.4020 0.04637 204 142 42 20
283 Because, not everyone has your kind of memory. 1.4018 0.04309 219 149 52 18
284 ...and they’ll use a donkey for the Democrats! 1.4018 0.04591 219 155 40 24
285 Mammoth, Mastodon....whatever....you all look pretty much the same on a cave wall. 1.4018 0.04160 219 146 58 15
286 Okay, okay, I'll make your tusks larger 1.4009 0.04336 217 148 51 18
287 I know it’s primitive, but I’m still evolving as an artist. 1.4009 0.04528 217 152 43 22
288 I work in miniatures. I thought you knew that when you hired me. 1.4009 0.04082 217 143 61 13
289 In ten thousand years, no one will care what you looked like. 1.4009 0.04059 227 151 61 15
290 This is going to blow those hand prints out of the water. 1.4000 0.04702 200 140 40 20
291 Show me where he touched you. 1.3981 0.04541 216 152 42 22
292 Well, the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.3972 0.04273 214 145 53 16
293 Why the long face? 1.3972 0.04375 214 147 49 18
294 Honestly, in 30,000 years who will know the difference? 1.3972 0.04375 214 147 49 18
295 I've decided it's time to address the elephant in the room. 1.3971 0.04237 209 140 55 14
296 You're my biggest commission to date. 1.3971 0.04014 209 136 63 10
297 A little less long in the tooth? 1.3971 0.04397 209 143 49 17
298 It's not supposed to look just like you. It's Art! 1.3971 0.03393 209 126 83 0
299 Yes, your nose does look like that. 1.3963 0.04077 217 144 60 13
300 I'm not a cave painter, I'm a cave artist. 1.3962 0.04141 212 141 58 13
301 Wouldn't a caption kind of ruin it? 1.3962 0.04248 212 143 54 15
302 Trust me, this will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. 1.3962 0.04248 212 143 54 15
303 I paint what I see. 1.3962 0.04195 212 142 56 14
304 What...? You said I could post this! 1.3962 0.04032 212 139 62 11
305 Call me a dreamer, but one day this image will represent cutting taxes and blaming immigrants. 1.3962 0.04650 212 151 38 23
306 Okay, you can put your clothes back on. 1.3962 0.04453 212 147 46 19
307 Move again and I'll add feathers. 1.3953 0.04601 215 153 39 23
308 It's post-modern, but not yet. 1.3953 0.04408 215 149 47 19
309 No, I'm not adding "a little extra girth" to the trunk 1.3953 0.04408 215 149 47 19
310 No, I can't make you look thinner. 1.3952 0.04483 210 146 45 19
311 I’d like to leave off the tusks just to create some buzz with the Paleoanthropologists. 1.3952 0.04167 210 140 57 13
312 Okay, now does this look like the one who started the stampede? 1.3944 0.04335 213 146 50 17
313 When you go extinct, the price will go through the roof. 1.3942 0.04461 208 144 46 18
314 Actually, the singular is 'graffito' 1.3942 0.04355 208 142 50 16
315 hold still, this one is for the Ages 1.3942 0.04355 208 142 50 16
316 Just relax. You won't be here much longer. 1.3942 0.04564 208 146 42 20
317 Eh... Can you make my trunk look a little bigger? 1.3942 0.04355 208 142 50 16
318 You're not the only one who's working for peanuts. 1.3942 0.04461 208 144 46 18
319 I'm sorry, but the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.3942 0.04247 208 140 54 14
320 Images on the wall may appear smaller than they actually are. 1.3942 0.04461 208 144 46 18
321 Waddaya mean,'The nose is too big'? 1.3941 0.04318 203 137 52 14
322 Whaddaya mean, you don't remember? 1.3935 0.04242 216 147 53 16
323 *not drawn to scale* 1.3934 0.03751 211 134 71 6
324 What do mean your nose looks big? 1.3932 0.04697 206 147 37 22
325 Adding a caption would ruin it! 1.3922 0.03763 204 129 70 5
326 I'm just saying, it's hard to focus when there's an elephant in the room. 1.3911 0.04329 202 137 51 14
327 Now I’ll never forget you, either. 1.3911 0.04272 202 136 53 13
328 Prehistoric Police Sketch Artist - "Did he have any scars or tattoos that you remember?" 1.3911 0.04155 202 134 57 11
329 Not cave painter, cave artist. 1.3911 0.04329 202 137 51 14
330 I call it, "Elephant in the Room." 1.3911 0.04711 202 144 37 21
331 You are fat. I'm not "making" you look fat! 1.3900 0.04472 200 138 46 16
332 Hold still. This is for the ages! 1.3900 0.04583 200 140 42 18
333 It's hard to think of something else to draw when there's an elephant in the room. 1.3900 0.04583 200 140 42 18
334 The cave always adds ten pounds. 1.3900 0.04527 200 139 44 17
335 It is a design for a cracker. 1.3900 0.04744 200 143 36 21
336 Is this the guy who gave you trouble this morning? 1.3889 0.04502 198 137 45 16
337 Give me that, 'I'm going extinct', pouty look.> 1.3889 0.04208 198 132 55 11
338 Would you mind if I stuck a couple of spears in you, just for dynamic effect? 1.3889 0.04502 198 137 45 16
339 I'll admit that fire was a little more impressive. 1.3883 0.04156 206 138 56 12
340 I can't pay you, but think about all the exposure you'll get. 1.3881 0.04105 201 133 58 10
341 Don't worry, this will make you look 10,000 years younger. 1.3881 0.04564 201 141 42 18
342 Wall adds ten pounds. 1.3881 0.04725 201 144 36 21
343 And I promise you, when I'm finished, everyone will be talking about the elephant in the room. 1.3881 0.04564 201 141 42 18
344 Does this look like the guy who ran off with your mate? 1.3881 0.04283 201 136 52 13
345 ....so the elephant said to the naked man, "How do you breathe through that thing?" 1.3881 0.04397 201 138 48 15
346 Goose me one more time, and I'm erasing your picture. 1.3881 0.04672 201 143 38 20
347 This painting will be one for the ages. 1.3858 0.04339 197 134 50 13
348 ...Okay mammoth done. Guys with the spears ... you're up! 1.3858 0.04278 197 133 52 12
349 See? I airbrushed them out. Happy now? 1.3846 0.04427 195 134 47 14
350 It's called primitive, and some day people will pay big bucks for it. 1.3846 0.04487 195 135 45 15
351 How many times do I have to explain to you tht I am not trying to ensure the success of the hunt. I am only capturing my impressions of the transitory nature of existence. 1.3846 0.03853 195 125 65 5
352 Give me softer eyes, a far-away look of longing 1.3846 0.04427 195 134 47 14
353 Sorry, the cave wall adds 10 tons. 1.3846 0.04827 195 141 33 21
354 I cropped the nose and edited out those unsightly growths. I call it "protoshop." 1.3846 0.04772 195 140 35 20
355 I think I'll call it art. 1.3834 0.04335 193 131 50 12
356 It hasn't caught on yet, but I predict that pretty soon everyone will be talking about The Elephant in the Room. 1.3834 0.04457 193 133 46 14
357 In this one should I have you chasing us or us hunting you? 1.3822 0.04549 191 133 43 15
358 It is not... truncated! And stop with the new words! 1.3822 0.04426 191 131 47 13
359 'Could you make me look mammoth?' 1.3817 0.03884 186 119 63 4
360 Yes, I realize a cold cave causes shrinkage. 1.3817 0.04172 186 123 55 8
361 It makes you look fat because you are. 1.3817 0.03808 186 118 65 3
362 You're not fat. The paint brush adds ten pounds. 1.3810 0.04457 189 130 46 13
363 "I draw like a caveman?! 1.3810 0.04642 189 133 40 16
364 Trust me, you’ll be famous in 35,000 years. 1.3810 0.04702 189 134 38 17
365 Why, yes, you are Rubenesque. 1.3810 0.04581 189 132 42 15
366 Now, how many wallet-size are you gonna need? 1.3810 0.04702 189 134 38 17
367 Paint in color? Forget it. The New Yorker won't go there for at least another 12 million years. 1.3807 0.04450 197 137 45 15
368 Who knows, maybe this will be worth something in 10,000 years. 1.3797 0.04676 187 132 39 16
369 Norman Rockwall. 1.3797 0.04737 187 133 37 17
370 I’m just posting on my wall, did you want me to tag you? 1.3797 0.04737 187 133 37 17
371 One more move, and someone’s gonna wish he was extinct. 1.3797 0.04291 187 126 51 10
372 Trust me, this is your best side 1.3797 0.04737 187 133 37 17
373 The good news is I've invented the fresco. The bad news is you can't take it home." 1.3797 0.04357 187 127 49 11
374 Now give me that enigmatic smile. 1.3791 0.04368 182 123 49 10
375 Draw you with big ears, flying? Not in a million years! 1.3791 0.04437 182 124 47 11
376 Hold still..!! It's either this or being frozen in a glacier..!! 1.3791 0.04766 182 129 37 16
377 Just wait. One day, it'll be worth a thousand words. 1.3784 0.04251 185 124 52 9
378 It's a free interpretation of your stature. Nothing is written in stone, you know. 1.3777 0.04594 188 132 41 15
379 So who made you an art critic? 1.3770 0.04617 183 128 41 14
380 Nobody likes a critic. 1.3770 0.04681 183 129 39 15
381 Yes, it's supposed to be you. 1.3770 0.04551 183 127 43 13
382 Hold still! This may be the only reminder that the GOP once existed and used to stand for something ! 1.3770 0.04617 183 128 41 14
383 Now, ma’am, are you certain this is the mammoth that assaulted you? 1.3770 0.04870 183 132 33 18
384 You'll thank me for this once you become extinct. 1.3770 0.04551 183 127 43 13
385 People will talk about my 'Elephant in the Room' for epochs to come. 1.3770 0.04870 183 132 33 18
386 Do you want on the Ark or not? 1.3770 0.04485 183 126 45 12
387 Well yes, literally I suppose my art is primitive 1.3770 0.04745 183 130 37 16
388 Yes, I can make your nose smaller, but it won't look like you. 1.3763 0.04093 186 123 56 7
389 I'm better with herds. 1.3763 0.03799 186 119 64 3
390 I can't pay you anything, but this is great exposure for you. 1.3763 0.03949 186 121 60 5
391 What did you expect? It's primitive art. 1.3763 0.04368 186 127 48 11
392 No! Your butt does not look Mammoth. 1.3763 0.04563 186 130 42 14
393 They were called Republicans and you are the last one! 1.3763 0.04811 186 134 34 18
394 I’m hoping for my 15,000 years of fame. 1.3757 0.04584 181 126 42 13
395 I'm not writing 'not to scale'. 1.3757 0.04448 181 124 46 11
396 What, you and the donkey can't even be in the same room together? 1.3757 0.04650 181 127 40 14
397 The incisions would leave minimal scarring, and the resulting symmetry could accentuate your main feature. 1.3757 0.04780 181 129 36 16
398 To identify the suspect, I'll need more details than "un-wolly" and "non-mamothly". 1.3757 0.04650 181 127 40 14
399 You have a very extinct look. 1.3757 0.04584 181 126 42 13
400 Then what happened? 1.3757 0.04907 181 131 32 18
401 It's hard copy–it will last for years. 1.3757 0.04584 181 126 42 13
402 Carl, I know your eyes are green but all we have is brown, beige, and darker brown 1.3757 0.04378 181 123 48 10
403 I hear you. But I am a miniaturist. 1.3757 0.04516 181 125 44 12
404 This really is your best side. 1.3757 0.04516 181 125 44 12
405 You call that a smile? 1.3757 0.04378 181 123 48 10
406 Primitive? I'd like to see you do any better! 1.3757 0.04448 181 124 46 11
407 Based on your description does this look like the beast that attacked you? 1.3757 0.04716 181 128 38 15
408 Listen, they asked for a mastodon, but if you can't hold a pose, I know plenty of mammoths who would kill for this gig. 1.3757 0.04650 181 127 40 14
409 In summary, our new ad campaign with take the GOP into the Stone Age. 1.3757 0.04716 181 128 38 15
410 Were you able to get a look at his tusks? 1.3757 0.05031 181 133 28 20
411 I did not say you look pale. I said you look Paleo. 1.3750 0.04596 184 129 41 14
412 Trust me. You're gonna be huge. 1.3750 0.04660 184 130 39 15
413 It's called a portrait. If you drew it, it would be called a self-portrait. 1.3750 0.04660 184 130 39 15
414 Don't move! We need to leave proof that we existed. 1.3750 0.04596 184 129 41 14
415 Listen, Babar - Celeste is my model, period. There's nothing between us. 1.3743 0.04543 187 131 42 14
416 It's abstract art. Don't take it personally. 1.3743 0.04076 187 124 56 7
417 It's your baby picture. 1.3736 0.04629 182 128 40 14
418 Hold still. I need to get this done before you go extinct. 1.3736 0.04629 182 128 40 14
419 Trust me, the clubbing, spearing, and stone throwing that I am about to draw is for artistic effect only. 1.3736 0.04496 182 126 44 12
420 Got it? Now you draw me. 1.3710 0.04619 186 132 39 15
421 What else can you tell me about him?! 1.3710 0.04681 186 133 37 16
422 Now remember. The kids can only look at this for an hour while their mother and I are out. 1.3710 0.04426 186 129 45 12
423 You should leave, I’m going to start painting in the hunters and I don’t want to ruin the ending for you. 1.3710 0.04619 186 132 39 15
424 I know it doesn't look like you but who's gonna know that in 50,000 years. 1.3708 0.04698 178 126 38 14
425 Do you want the dung pile in or out? 1.3699 0.04792 173 123 36 14
426 Hold Still! I'd like to get this done before you go extinct!! 1.3693 0.04594 176 123 41 12
427 Don't worry, no one will ever see this! 1.3693 0.04664 176 124 39 13
428 I don't know how to make you look sexier than this. You're already completely naked. 1.3693 0.04522 176 122 43 11
429 Okay, I've removed the wrinkles. Satisfied? 1.3693 0.04664 176 124 39 13
430 Give me your best "I just trampled a Neanderthal" look 1.3693 0.04069 176 116 55 5
431 Will you hold still? I'm trying to finish before you go extinct. 1.3693 0.04801 176 126 35 15
432 OK. Let’s try one with the furry sweater. 1.3693 0.04664 176 124 39 13
433 Of course the cave wall adds some pounds 1.3693 0.04522 176 122 43 11
434 This is post prehistoric realism man. A protest against the materialistic trade in ivory. A crime whose time is yet to come. Also, I can’t do horns. They’re too curvy. 1.3693 0.03822 176 113 61 2
435 It's called contemporary art. 1.3693 0.04868 176 127 33 16
436 If you say, "You paint like a Neanderthal" one more time... 1.3693 0.04801 176 126 35 15
437 Give me fierce but also extinct. 1.3678 0.04838 174 125 34 15
438 Unless you want to be remembered for that double chin, keep your tusks up like I told you. 1.3678 0.04699 174 123 38 13
439 This will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. 1.3678 0.04482 174 120 44 10
440 It's art. No one will think you were actually this size. 1.3678 0.04699 174 123 38 13
441 The art world will call this huge, no, mammoth! 1.3678 0.04628 174 122 40 12
442 No. It's only a selfie if you draw it. 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
443 OK, sure it's a little rough, but you forget I'm a primitive artist! 1.3669 0.04165 169 112 52 5
444 Yes, I’ll make your tusks look big 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
445 You are indeed my main source of food and clothing, but please do not underestimate your value as my muse. 1.3663 0.04588 172 120 41 11
446 This is one for the ages! 1.3663 0.04438 172 118 45 9
447 Now I'm just going to add a happy little tree right here 1.3663 0.04945 172 125 31 16
448 If I win this round I can go to Lascaux. 1.3663 0.04945 172 125 31 16
449 C’mon, it’ll be worth a thousand words when they invent the alphabet! 1.3663 0.04202 172 115 51 6
450 I really think this one will go down in pre-history. 1.3663 0.04734 172 122 37 13
451 No, the picture does not make you look fat. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
452 When I said you can take a bathroom break, I didn't mean RIGHT HERE! 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
453 Try to show more vulnerability. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
454 I swear if you say "Tusk, tusk" just one more time. . . 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
455 We'll try again. This time don't blink! 1.3663 0.04945 172 125 31 16
456 And this is your baby picture. 1.3663 0.04806 172 123 35 14
457 And despite what you've heard, no, I do not sleep with my models. 1.3653 0.04361 167 113 47 7
458 So who went extinct and made you an art critic? 1.3653 0.04523 167 115 43 9
459 Cave drawings always add ten pounds. 1.3653 0.04105 167 110 53 4
460 Oh, so now everybody's an art critic. 1.3653 0.04756 167 118 37 12
461 When you’re wise beyond your ears, smaller ones are better. 1.3647 0.04985 170 124 30 16
462 Wait, you wanted it to scale? 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
463 You're so vain, you probably think this painting's about you. 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
464 Well, its supposed to be primitive! 1.3647 0.04391 170 116 46 8
465 What do you mean you can't remember? 1.3647 0.04771 170 121 36 13
466 I see your trunk has fallen. Do we need a break? 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
467 I know you're bigger than this. I'm drawing how you look from far away. 1.3647 0.03796 170 109 60 1
468 No, I would describe it as 'big-boned'. 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
469 Honestly, I’m just screwing with future archeologists. 1.3647 0.04914 170 123 32 15
470 Can you do that mysterious but alluring half-smile for me again? 1.3647 0.04914 170 123 32 15
471 Thousands of years from now people will pay to see this. 1.3647 0.04771 170 121 36 13
472 Because you ARE fat! 1.3647 0.04622 170 119 40 11
473 "Are you familiar with primitivism? 1.3647 0.04146 170 113 52 5
474 My goal is to decorate this whole cave space. It will be a mammoth project. 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
475 Did the suspect have tusks? 1.3647 0.04914 170 123 32 15
476 Don't be such a primadonna; in 3 million years no one is going to care how fat you look. 1.3647 0.04622 170 119 40 11
477 Oh, come on, who cares if your nose is crooked? It's not like anyone's ever going to see this. 1.3631 0.03998 168 110 55 3
478 It's my mastopiece. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
479 Can you give me a pose that says hunted to extinction? 1.3631 0.05096 168 124 27 17
480 Don't get too pleased with yourself. I've got a donkey coming in right after you. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
481 I need you to stand still! My memory is not as good as yours. 1.3631 0.04733 168 119 37 12
482 You're the perfect model. You never forget an appointment and you work for peanuts. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
483 Don't look so petrified. 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
484 No no, you look great! The wall adds a few pounds. 1.3631 0.04501 168 116 43 9
485 Just stand still. This portrait will be one for the ages. 1.3631 0.04501 168 116 43 9
486 Sorry, but that’s what you look like !!! 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
487 Don't move. We haven't invented perspective yet. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
488 I know they're missing - just want to mess with some archeologists a few million years from now. 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
489 Look, this is cave painting; I don't care which art academy you went to. 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
490 I'll tell you, this was a heck of a lot easier than that damn saber-tooth. 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
491 You are the worst at Pictionary. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
492 Let's hurry this up, I've got the sabertooth tiger coming at dusk. 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
493 Ya, and you’re no Mona Lisa. 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
494 Sorry, the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.3631 0.04881 168 121 33 14
495 If you don't stop moving, we'll never be done. 1.3631 0.04501 168 116 43 9
496 OK, OK, I'll make them bigger. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
497 Hold still. It's hard to erase. 1.3631 0.04580 168 117 41 10
498 I promise. No men with spears. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
499 In a million years from now no one will even know it was you. 1.3631 0.04733 168 119 37 12
500 I'm going through a minimalist phase. 1.3631 0.04808 168 120 35 13
501 Stop complaining. All my models are naked. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
502 Don't worry - no one's ever going to see it. 1.3631 0.04580 168 117 41 10
503 It's not supposed to be life-sized. 1.3631 0.04422 168 115 45 8
504 Hold still. Hannibal says you have to leave in an hour. 1.3626 0.04525 171 119 42 10
505 I might not be da Vinci, but you're no Mona Lisa. 1.3620 0.04248 163 109 49 5
506 A longer trunk will make you look old. 1.3614 0.04286 166 112 48 6
507 You have very extinct features. 1.3614 0.04920 166 120 32 14
508 Yea that's pretty much what he looked like, he was also wearing a knit cap. 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
509 Okay, you can put your robe back on now. 1.3614 0.04770 166 118 36 12
510 So she called you a wooly mammoth. My wife calls me a hairy beast. 1.3609 0.05139 169 126 25 18
511 ... and stop calling me Masta' Don 1.3609 0.03980 169 111 55 3
512 There. I made it smaller. Are you happy now? 1.3609 0.04320 169 115 47 7
513 I'm not appreciated in my own time either. 1.3598 0.04401 164 112 45 7
514 Alright already, I’ll make them bigger! 1.3598 0.04485 164 113 43 8
515 One day everyone will have an emotional support animal. 1.3598 0.04485 164 113 43 8
516 Whaddaya mean I made you look fat? 1.3588 0.04612 170 120 39 11
517 Don't worry, nothing is to scale. 1.3580 0.04432 162 111 44 7
518 Hold that smile. 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
519 Objects on the wall may appear smaller than they really are. 1.3580 0.04766 162 115 36 11
520 Some of us remember things by writing them down. 1.3580 0.04924 162 117 32 13
521 My day job is a hunter-gatherer. 1.3580 0.04256 162 109 48 5
522 Yes, I think I captured your sense of ennui. 1.3580 0.05152 162 120 26 16
523 It's called 'Instagrammoth' 1.3571 0.04577 154 106 41 7
524 Before you vanish from the face of the earth, hold still for heaven's sake. 1.3571 0.04759 154 108 37 9
525 Make up your mind, trunk out or trunk down? 1.3567 0.04609 157 109 40 8
526 This is going to blow their minds - nobody's done anything but hand prints before. 1.3567 0.04519 157 108 42 7
527 This is the first painting in history, the least you could do is smile. 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
528 THIS is what you mate with. Okay? 1.3567 0.04951 157 113 32 12
529 Yes, it’s a nude, but it’s tasteful. 1.3562 0.04375 160 109 45 6
530 I may not know who this "Rembrandt" is, but I can detect sarcasm. 1.3562 0.04721 160 113 37 10
531 Listen Ralph...the tusks are the hardest part... 1.3558 0.04495 163 113 42 8
532 Yes, your ears really are that small. 1.3558 0.04821 163 117 34 12
533 Could you give me more of a pre-extinction expression? 1.3548 0.03963 155 101 53 1
534 Now pretend you've got a spear in your side. 1.3548 0.04992 155 112 31 12
535 Don't be alarmed, but now I'm going to bring in some guys with spears. 1.3544 0.05085 158 116 28 14
536 What's a republican? 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
537 Stop evolving and stand still! 1.3540 0.04442 161 111 43 7
538 Yes, yes, of course -- I'll make your tusks look really HUGE. 1.3540 0.04442 161 111 43 7
539 It's not SUPPOSED to be realistic. I'm a primitive painter. 1.3540 0.04778 161 115 35 11
540 What do you mean, you look bloated? 1.3540 0.05016 161 118 29 14
541 ...so when a mommy elephant and a daddy elephant love each other very much... 1.3540 0.05016 161 118 29 14
542 But you ARE big boned. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
543 It will be worth more when you're extinct. 1.3537 0.04796 164 118 34 12
544 Just think, your descendants will be the symbol of the Republican party. 1.3537 0.04873 164 119 32 13
545 I'm calling it "The Elephant in the Room" 1.3537 0.04796 164 118 34 12
546 Try to look more extinct. 1.3537 0.04556 164 115 40 9
547 Say something funny, we'll invent the cartoon. 1.3537 0.04796 164 118 34 12
548 It'll be worth more when you're dead. 1.3526 0.05129 156 115 27 14
549 What do you men"truncated'? 1.3526 0.04343 156 106 45 5
550 I have a feeling that people will appreciate my work only after I'm dead. 1.3526 0.04620 156 109 39 8
551 You be thinking of a caption while I add the finishing touches. 1.3526 0.04709 156 110 37 9
552 Poking me with those things isn't going to make this go any faster 1.3526 0.04881 156 112 33 11
553 Hold still, and no I don't know why it's so cold outside. 1.3526 0.05048 156 114 29 13
554 Look, I tried to tell you the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.3526 0.04709 156 110 37 9
555 The brush always adds another hundred pounds. 1.3526 0.04343 156 106 45 5
556 Don't be shy. We're in a cave. No one will ever see this. 1.3526 0.04796 156 111 35 10
557 The wall adds 10 pounds! 1.3526 0.04620 156 109 39 8
558 Okay now go get the donkey. I'm going to invent something called politics and it's going to be fucking awesome. 1.3526 0.04796 156 111 35 10
559 Give me a break I can barely see in here! 1.3526 0.04343 156 106 45 5
560 I call it an elephant, something you could never be in a million years. 1.3526 0.04965 156 113 31 12
561 Future generations will know we noticed the mastodon in the living room. 1.3526 0.04620 156 109 39 8
562 No, it really is that big. 1.3526 0.04709 156 110 37 9
563 For the umpteenth time, no! This angle does *not* make your tusks look "weird." 1.3526 0.05048 156 114 29 13
564 Hold still, I need to finish this before the ice age. 1.3526 0.04620 156 109 39 8
565 First you promise not to gore me with them. Then I paint them as big as you want. 1.3526 0.04530 156 108 41 7
566 Stand still, dammit! 1.3526 0.04709 156 110 37 9
567 I'm gonna say this one more time. It's. Not. To. Scale! 1.3519 0.04913 162 118 31 13
568 I am not going to double your trunk size in the picture." "This is why I hate to paint elephants! 1.3519 0.04505 162 113 41 8
569 Of course you're cold, it's the Ice Age. 1.3519 0.04834 162 117 33 12
570 You can't see my early work because this is my early work. 1.3519 0.04673 162 115 37 10
571 Am I the only one who will acknowledge the mastodon in the room? 1.3510 0.04622 151 105 39 7
572 OK, can you describe the hair color of the first hunter? 1.3506 0.04834 154 110 34 10
573 Will you stay still, you’re going to be extinct in a little while. 1.3506 0.04469 154 106 42 6
574 The walls always add 10 pounds 1.3506 0.04834 154 110 34 10
575 Okay, now give me that come-hither look. 1.3506 0.04469 154 106 42 6
576 Yes, I know what tusk size correlates to. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
577 I'm really into abstract expressionism. I just do portraits on the side. 1.3506 0.04834 154 110 34 10
578 You should be happy. You’ve been selected as the symbol for the Neanderthal Party 1.3506 0.05091 154 113 28 13
579 Don't worry, the wall adds ten pounds. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
580 It's not supposed to look "like" you, it's supposed to "be" you. 1.3506 0.05007 154 112 30 12
581 Oh, yeah! Well, for your information, primitive art is very now. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
582 Stop complaining. I just took 2500 pounds off your figure. 1.3506 0.05007 154 112 30 12
583 Why wouldn't I paint the elephant in the room?! 1.3506 0.05091 154 113 28 13
584 Just a suggestion...have you tried the new whitening strips? 1.3506 0.04746 154 109 36 9
585 Thanks for helping me draw the election district. 1.3506 0.05335 154 116 22 16
586 This IS your best side. 1.3506 0.04746 154 109 36 9
587 Hurry up, would ya? I can't stand here for ages." 1.3506 0.04655 154 108 38 8
588 Now try to make an enigmatic, mysterious half-smile. 1.3506 0.05007 154 112 30 12
589 You said you wanted to look younger. 1.3506 0.04746 154 109 36 9
590 You're going to have to trust me. That's what you look like! 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
591 It's not supposed to look like you. It's modern art. 1.3506 0.04834 154 110 34 10
592 You think anyone's going to know it's not a good likeness in 20,000 years? 1.3503 0.04770 157 112 35 10
593 You're my first plus-size model. 1.3497 0.04483 163 114 41 8
594 I look like an anteater 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
595 What the hell is a caption? 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
596 You must remember other details about the assailant. Tusks? Wooly? 1.3497 0.04730 163 117 35 11
597 For the last time, you don't have a good side. 1.3497 0.04809 163 118 33 12
598 It's your baby picture. 1.3497 0.04649 163 116 37 10
599 Would you be more comfortable if I was naked too? 1.3490 0.04459 149 102 42 5
600 I know it’s taking a long time, but I want it to last. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
601 Why, yes, the lighting is brand new. Just invented it this morning. 1.3490 0.04251 149 100 46 3
602 Well, maybe it's not a Kehinde Wiley, but you're not exactly a Barack Obama, either. 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
603 Of course you look fat. You’re a mammoth! 1.3487 0.04598 152 106 39 7
604 Don’t move and stop evolving. 1.3487 0.04598 152 106 39 7
605 Admittedly, my skills are pretty primitive. 1.3487 0.04598 152 106 39 7
606 Now give me an enigmatic smile; I want this one to have staying power. 1.3487 0.04692 152 107 37 8
607 Like you could do better . 1.3487 0.04874 152 109 33 10
608 It is too bad that our ancestors didn't have this technology 1.3484 0.04808 155 111 34 10
609 No, I will not make it longer. 1.3484 0.04808 155 111 34 10
610 You paint me next, so they'll know we both were here. 1.3484 0.04895 155 112 32 11
611 In 40,000 years people will go crazy over this stuff—so will you please just stand still for another five goddamn minutes! 1.3484 0.04631 155 109 38 8
612 You’ve had some work done, haven’t you? 1.3484 0.04895 155 112 32 11
613 Its called Cro-Magnon Style. Its not supposed to be representational 1.3484 0.04720 155 110 36 9
614 Are you sure this is exactly how you remember it? 1.3484 0.04895 155 112 32 11
615 Okay, let's address the elephant in the room. 1.3484 0.04631 155 109 38 8
616 No, I am not making your nose too big. 1.3484 0.04631 155 109 38 8
617 Yes, tar makes the best paint, and yes... I'm sorry about your brother. 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
618 C'mon, baby, show me more trunk...work with me, work with me. 1.3476 0.04705 164 118 35 11
619 Okay, now give me that "last-mammoth-on-earth" pout... 1.3476 0.04625 164 117 37 10
620 Act natural. 1.3467 0.05093 150 110 28 12
621 I feel it makes you more approachable. 1.3467 0.04334 150 102 44 4
622 Don't change a thing -plus size models are in. 1.3467 0.04914 150 108 32 10
623 If your family have such good memories, why do they commission portraits? 1.3467 0.04914 150 108 32 10
624 Now, Give me a haunted look of Extinction 1.3467 0.04822 150 107 34 9
625 No, you just have big bones. 1.3467 0.04633 150 105 38 7
626 I'm doing my best- depth perception doesn't fully evolve until the Upper Paleolithic Period. 1.3467 0.04122 150 100 48 2
627 I pay my models in cash. If you want to be drawn for peanuts, go find Charles Schultz. 1.3467 0.05266 150 112 24 14
628 Okay, okay, I'll put him on your back, but not until someone invents orange so I can get the hair right. 1.3467 0.05180 150 111 26 13
629 No, I can't paint is so your trunk follows people around the room. 1.3467 0.04822 150 107 34 9
630 You moved. Now it's going to be blurry. 1.3467 0.05180 150 111 26 13
631 So what would be your opinion if I added myself throwing a few spears at you?... 1.3467 0.04914 150 108 32 10
632 Trust me -- this IS your good side. 1.3467 0.04334 150 102 44 4
633 I'm almost done, be patient. Millions of years from now this drawing will represent a powerful political party that will be led by a Dodo. 1.3467 0.05266 150 112 24 14
634 What do you mean 'it's not your good side'? 1.3467 0.04633 150 105 38 7
635 Would you stop being so critical? I've only just mastered my opposable thumbs! 1.3467 0.05004 150 109 30 11
636 And, if my wife comes back, put your clothes back on 1.3464 0.05106 153 113 27 13
637 Well, it's a lot better than your painting of me! 1.3464 0.05106 153 113 27 13
638 What do you mean the nose is too big? 1.3464 0.04076 153 102 49 2
639 Try not to evolve while I'm painting. 1.3464 0.04758 153 109 35 9
640 I call it The Mammoth Lisa. 1.3464 0.04847 153 110 33 10
641 Look, I'm the world's first artist, so I get to decide if you need tusks or not. 1.3464 0.05190 153 114 25 14
642 That's a mammoth misrepresentation. 1.3464 0.04847 153 110 33 10
643 To save time, I'll label it G.O.P 1.3464 0.05272 153 115 23 15
644 What do you mean you don’t want this posted on your wall? 1.3464 0.04180 153 103 47 3
645 Well, the wall does add an extra ten pounds. 1.3464 0.05021 153 112 29 12
646 Who’s the artist here? 1.3464 0.04758 153 109 35 9
647 Paint adds ten pounds. 1.3464 0.04935 153 111 31 11
648 That IS how you nose looks! 1.3464 0.05021 153 112 29 12
649 If you don't stop moving, it will be eons before anyone sees this. 1.3464 0.04666 153 108 37 8
650 Now lower your tusks like you're angry. 1.3464 0.04758 153 109 35 9
651 If I make it any shorter you'll look like a rhinoceros. 1.3462 0.04783 156 112 34 10
652 No, I don't have any marshmallows. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
653 Did you move? Dammit! I told you not to move. 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
654 Because your nose IS that big! 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
655 Beautiful. Now, show me 'fierce'. 1.3446 0.04669 148 104 37 7
656 How do you spell, "Wuz here"? 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
657 Yeah, yeah, big tusks, I got it! 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
658 Like you could do better . 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
659 Hold still! I can’t afford to keep throwing away caves! 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
660 Yes, I'm painting over it. Otherwise we'll never get our security deposit back! 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
661 I just think we can't keep ignoring the elephant in the cave. 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
662 Can you think of something funny to write under this? I got nothin. 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
663 Try to look woolier. 1.3446 0.04955 148 107 31 10
664 Want to add that you're looking for a relationship, not just a rut? 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
665 I don’t care how many smoke breaks the guy in Lascaux gave you! 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
666 And now we'll paint in two happy little tusks..... 1.3446 0.05314 148 111 23 14
667 Break time. Can you remember your pose? 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
668 Relax, these won't be around forever. 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
669 Ok, but once this "elphie" is up, it's forever. 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
670 Okay Ed, next outfit is the Elk and we're done for the day. 1.3446 0.05484 148 113 19 16
671 "Woolly or not woolly? 1.3446 0.04468 148 102 41 5
672 Why would you want to be a Pink Elephant? 1.3446 0.03920 148 97 51 0
673 O.K., I'm no da Vinci. But you're no Mona Lisa either. 1.3444 0.05151 151 112 26 13
674 A nip here, a tuck there. By the time I've finished that droop will be history. 1.3444 0.04608 151 106 38 7
675 Don’t worry, if it turns out bad no one will ever see it. 1.3444 0.04976 151 110 30 11
676 I know your trunk is bigger, don't worry, people won't take this literally. 1.3444 0.04608 151 106 38 7
677 This was a lot harder before I invented taxidermy. 1.3444 0.05236 151 113 24 14
678 Give it to me, Baby! That's it. A little more tusk! Oh yeah! Beautiful, Baby! 1.3444 0.04887 151 109 32 10
679 No. You cannot be the one throwing the spear this time. 1.3444 0.05236 151 113 24 14
680 Here I have captured the essence of that scared little mammoth whom you hide beneath that façade of enormity and might. 1.3444 0.04511 151 105 40 6
681 The light in here is horrible. Can you stand a little closer to the fire? 1.3444 0.04608 151 106 38 7
682 Because I don't have enough paint! 1.3444 0.04976 151 110 30 11
683 I know it's not perfect, but it's not like these cave paintings are going to last. 1.3444 0.04887 151 109 32 10
684 Trust me, they're gonna love this in about 40,000 years. 1.3444 0.04887 151 109 32 10
685 Could you look a little less extinct? 1.3444 0.04796 151 108 34 9
686 It _is_ your best side. 1.3444 0.05151 151 112 26 13
687 Could you make that smile a bit more enigmatic? 1.3444 0.04976 151 110 30 11
688 It only becomes valuable after your species dies. 1.3425 0.04059 146 97 48 1
689 Calm down, it's just a rough draft. And it's not like anyone's ever going to see it. 1.3425 0.04998 146 106 30 10
690 Life size portrait! Forget about it! 1.3425 0.03941 146 96 50 0
691 You've posed nude before haven't you. 1.3423 0.05019 149 109 29 11
692 Truncating is the artist's prerogative! 1.3423 0.04126 149 100 47 2
693 Stop complaining, it's not like anyone will care what you really looked like a million years from now. 1.3423 0.04928 149 108 31 10
694 It's called perspective. It's you from far away. 1.3423 0.04740 149 106 35 8
695 Of course everyone will know it's bigger in real life. 1.3423 0.04740 149 106 35 8
696 Sorry. The wall puts on 20 pounds for everybody. 1.3423 0.05019 149 109 29 11
697 It not you. Charcoal add ten pounds. 1.3423 0.04928 149 108 31 10
698 I promise you your mother will never see this. It's strictly for my private collection. 1.3423 0.04928 149 108 31 10
699 Yes, I know what long tusks mean. 1.3423 0.05108 149 110 27 12
700 Stop criticizing - perspective hasn’t been invented yet 1.3423 0.04835 149 107 33 9
701 For goodness' sake, speak up the next time you need to take a break … 1.3423 0.05019 149 109 29 11
702 Hardy, har har...yes, I think i’ll finish before the next ice age. 1.3423 0.05196 149 111 25 13
703 I know size matters 1.3423 0.05108 149 110 27 12
704 I have a lousy memory so I have to write it down. 1.3423 0.04928 149 108 31 10
705 Look, I can try not to make your nose look too big, but... 1.3423 0.05108 149 110 27 12
706 You're in my light. 1.3421 0.04860 152 110 32 10
707 Don't worry baby, no one is going to ever see these. 1.3407 0.05378 135 100 24 11
708 It's not supposed to look like you. I'm inventing Impressionism. 1.3401 0.04262 147 100 44 3
709 Trust me. The no-tusk look is slimming. 1.3401 0.04778 147 105 34 8
710 Just think, 10,000 years from now you'll be famous! 1.3401 0.04969 147 107 30 10
711 For the last time, no, I'm not going to draw you like one of my French mammoths. 1.3400 0.04900 150 109 31 10
712 Well I wish you hadn't tossed the pearl earring. It really made it pop. 1.3380 0.04885 142 102 32 8
713 Here’s what you’ll look like after the nip/tusk surgery. 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
714 Everything doesn’t have to be about you! 1.3380 0.04568 142 99 38 5
715 First time modeling in the nude? 1.3379 0.04716 145 103 35 7
716 A small nose job, a little dental work, and voilà! 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
717 I know you want me to make the trunk bigger, but the ladies will find out sooner or later! 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
718 Will you be needing wallet size prints? 1.3379 0.04613 145 102 37 6
719 Don't worry, I'll make the people extra small. 1.3379 0.04716 145 103 35 7
720 I know you're working for peanuts, but stand still! 1.3379 0.05106 145 107 27 11
721 "And this is you when you were one month old". 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
722 Don't look so surprised, I told you I was a minimalist painter when you hired me! 1.3379 0.04915 145 105 31 9
723 This is what you get for paying me peanuts! 1.3379 0.04716 145 103 35 7
724 Now, where’s that smile. 1.3379 0.04716 145 103 35 7
725 So, the plan is to invent agriculture, then bronze and cities, then iron and bigger cities, then the Renaissance and the Internet. But then we get Trump and it's back to square one. 1.3379 0.05290 145 109 23 13
726 You should have gone before you left home. 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
727 Goose me one more time and you're fired! 1.3379 0.04915 145 105 31 9
728 okay , we're finished for today , you can get dressed 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
729 Let's try another one. Your eyes were closed. 1.3379 0.04915 145 105 31 9
730 I'm just beginning. It'll be a mammoth undertaking! 1.3379 0.05106 145 107 27 11
731 Say peanuts. 1.3379 0.04817 145 104 33 8
732 No, I don’t think it makes you look fat. 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
733 Now, throw back your trunk and give me sultry. 1.3379 0.04613 145 102 37 6
734 Stop worrying, I'll make your tusks plenty big. 1.3379 0.04817 145 104 33 8
735 This IS your best side. 1.3379 0.04401 145 100 41 4
736 That's enough for today. You can go get dressed. 1.3379 0.04716 145 103 35 7
737 Because you'll be extinct, that's why. 1.3379 0.05199 145 108 25 12
738 If you don’t stop moving, this is going to be an epoch failure! 1.3379 0.04915 145 105 31 9
739 Yes, your butt really is that big. 1.3379 0.05012 145 106 29 10
740 Don't worry, no one will ever see this! 1.3379 0.05106 145 107 27 11
741 Because canvas hasn't been invented yet, that's why! 1.3379 0.04915 145 105 31 9
742 Yes, I'm getting your good side. 1.3379 0.04061 145 97 47 1
743 Don’t you tusk tusk me. 1.3379 0.04508 145 101 39 5
744 Your skin looks amazing! Who's your pachydermatologist? 1.3357 0.04821 140 100 33 7
745 If you tank in the mid term elections I'm replacing you with the donkey 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
746 Adding the tusks, won't make you look fat. 1.3357 0.05152 143 106 26 11
747 I know, I know, charcoal adds ten pounds. 1.3357 0.04085 143 96 46 1
748 Okay. I'll put the tusks on if you'll stop pooping in the cave. 1.3357 0.05246 143 107 24 12
749 I prefer cave artist. 1.3357 0.04649 143 101 36 6
750 Because Burnt Stick is the Pantone Color of the Year again. That’s why. 1.3357 0.05431 143 109 20 14
751 But, you said make me look younger! 1.3357 0.04320 143 98 42 3
752 My last cave was huge in France. 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
753 Yes, the cave painting subtracts a few thousand pounds. 1.3357 0.04649 143 101 36 6
754 This is definitely your best side 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
755 Let me remind you, again, that you are not the only elephant in this room. 1.3357 0.04754 143 102 34 7
756 No, I'm not giving you bigger tusks! 1.3357 0.05055 143 105 28 10
757 Beautiful, baby...Now work with me...Show us those tusks.... 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
758 Of course I will make sure your trunk and tusks are enormous. 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
759 it's a mammoth task 1.3357 0.05055 143 105 28 10
760 What do you mean your trunk looks small? 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
761 I am NOT ignoring the elephant in the room! 1.3357 0.05055 143 105 28 10
762 Now let's get one with you poked full of spears. 1.3357 0.05055 143 105 28 10
763 I call it "the elephant in the room". 1.3357 0.05055 143 105 28 10
764 No worries, camp fires add ten pounds. 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
765 I want to make it clear. I never sleep with my models. 1.3357 0.04957 143 104 30 9
766 Try to look prehistoric. 1.3356 0.04982 146 107 29 10
767 Keep in mind that the cave wall adds about 200 pounds. 1.3333 0.04464 141 98 39 4
768 It would be worth a lot more if you became extinct 1.3333 0.05099 141 104 27 10
769 Well, it's supposed to look primitive. 1.3333 0.04897 141 102 31 8
770 If I ever figure out how to get these things off the wall, I'll make a fortune. 1.3333 0.04897 141 102 31 8
771 I’m completely self taught. 1.3333 0.04638 138 97 36 5
772 Ok, now I need to think of a good caption. 1.3333 0.04999 141 103 29 9
773 Let me finish posting and THEN I'll tag you 1.3333 0.04861 138 99 32 7
774 Turn a little to the left please, I'd like to see more tusk. 1.3333 0.04897 141 102 31 8
775 10,000 years from now no one will care if your trunk was tired. 1.3333 0.04522 138 96 38 4
776 Some day they will stand in line to see the mystery of your smile 1.3333 0.04999 141 103 29 9
777 Can't you keep it up for more than a minute. 1.3333 0.04897 141 102 31 8
778 Stop worrying in a thousand years no one will remember you had hair. 1.3333 0.04638 138 97 36 5
779 " You startled me. I didn't see you standing there. 1.3333 0.04335 135 92 41 2
780 I know they promised you peanuts, well guess what?... they promised me a Mammoth 1.3333 0.05099 141 104 27 10
781 Stop asking. I've told you that I'll remove the wrinkles and I will. 1.3333 0.04685 141 100 35 6
782 I know, I am better at building a fire. 1.3333 0.04968 138 100 30 8
783 Well I’m sorry. You have a big nose. I can only paint what I see. 1.3333 0.05294 141 106 23 12
784 Oh relax! What will it matter 6000 years from now? 1.3333 0.05198 141 105 25 11
785 Trust me, it will be worth more when you're extinct. 1.3333 0.04818 135 96 33 6
786 Because I think horns send the wrong message. 1.3333 0.05151 135 99 27 9
787 It's not supposed to look like you. I'm an impressionist! 1.3333 0.04407 144 100 40 4
788 It's an archetype- it's not supposed to look like you. 1.3310 0.04764 142 102 33 7
789 It makes you look fat! Well you are fat! 1.3310 0.04868 142 103 31 8
790 Sure, I have a part-time job hunting and gathering, but my real focus is my art. 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
791 And when a boy mastodon loves a girl mastodon very much... 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
792 Smile, this one's for the ages. 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
793 Never Forget 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
794 And here’s YOU acting like a little bitch. 1.3309 0.05245 139 104 24 11
795 Trust me. It's okay to pose in the nude. 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
796 May I suggest avoiding Asia when migrating. 1.3309 0.04831 139 100 32 7
797 Could you describe the culprit again? 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
798 I call this my "pre-extinction" period 1.3309 0.04496 139 97 38 4
799 Great artists are never appreciated in their time but just you wait 200,000 years. 1.3309 0.04496 139 97 38 4
800 Early Mansplaining 1.3309 0.05344 139 105 22 12
801 Don't worry, the wrinkles won't be noticeable. 1.3309 0.05145 139 103 26 10
802 Trust me, after a few millennia everything is considered 'art'. 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
803 Hold still, I don't have your memory 1.3309 0.04831 139 100 32 7
804 Don't worry, the cave wall always adds ten pounds. 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
805 This is your good side. 1.3309 0.04938 139 101 30 8
806 I know elephants never forget, but humans do,so here it is. 1.3309 0.05145 139 103 26 10
807 Did you have to move? Now the perspective is all thrown off! 1.3309 0.05043 139 102 28 9
808 This IS how you look. 1.3309 0.04611 139 98 36 5
809 For reasons we don't fully understand today, your image became taboo in the early 21st century. 1.3309 0.04182 136 92 43 1
810 I don't know, just try to be more…natural. 1.3309 0.04556 136 95 37 4
811 Why do you only remember the times I've made a mistake? 1.3309 0.04902 136 98 31 7
812 What do you mean it looks nothing like you? 1.3309 0.04789 136 97 33 6
813 Charcoal is a slimming color, trust me. 1.3286 0.04694 140 100 34 6
814 We call ourselves "Republicans". 1.3285 0.04981 137 100 29 8
815 But I AM a caveman! 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
816 Have you ever descended a staircase? 1.3285 0.04646 137 97 35 5
817 Don't you tusk, tusk me now. 1.3285 0.04646 137 97 35 5
818 I know, I know . . . it's not my fault! The cave wall adds 10 pounds! 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
819 What do you mean you forget what happened next? 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
820 I've made your nose smaller but there's not much I can do about the wrinkles. 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
821 What do you mean it doesn’t look like you! 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
822 What do you expect I'm a cave man not an artist 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
823 No, you're not the elephant in the room. This is a cave. 1.3285 0.04646 137 97 35 5
824 I was willing to pay more, but your union said, “peanuts.” 1.3285 0.04409 137 95 39 3
825 Hold still. I’m trying to get your good side. 1.3285 0.04286 137 94 41 2
826 Hurry up and finish before I go extinct. 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
827 Don't worry, I can Caveshop out all your wrinkles later. 1.3285 0.04981 137 100 29 8
828 Is this the mammoth you saw> 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
829 I think I have a pretty good likeness.....but only time will tell. 1.3285 0.04646 137 97 35 5
830 Don't worry, I'll smooth out the wrinkles. 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
831 Our hunters will join you for the next pose. 1.3285 0.04529 137 96 37 4
832 Trust me, you don't look Rubenesque. 1.3285 0.04981 137 100 29 8
833 I’m an artist. If I wanted you to have tusks I’d give you tusks. 1.3285 0.04760 137 98 33 6
834 Unaware he was about to influence Renaissance art, Glorp said, "Now give me that subtle, mysterious smile of yours." 1.3285 0.05192 137 102 25 10
835 I think this makes you more approachable 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
836 I'm going to add a bunch of hair and make you bigger to mess with people. 1.3285 0.04286 137 94 41 2
837 Don't blame me: the cave wall puts on 10 pounds. 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
838 If this is accepted for the exhibition at Lascaux, I tell you, we will make history together. 1.3284 0.04208 134 91 42 1
839 It’s either Late Cave or Pre-Impressionism. Your choice. 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
840 There. Now tell me about you and what you are looking for in a potential mate. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
841 It's not primitive, it's Primitivism. 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
842 Someday we may regret what you’ll come to symbolize. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
843 If we're going to catch this guy, I really need your help in remembering the shape of his nose. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
844 Well then you must not have a good side. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
845 Yeah, well, the rest of us will forget. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
846 Because sometimes we do forget. 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
847 I’ll fill in the details later. We’ve got all the time in the world. 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
848 Then everyone writes ‘like’ or ‘dont like’ right over here” 1.3277 0.04936 119 84 31 4
849 Being lef-handed is not strange compared to a mastodon who starts fires 1.3261 0.05360 138 105 21 12
850 How can I be expected to produce a masterpiece in such primitive conditions? 1.3261 0.04950 138 101 29 8
851 OK! OK! It's erect! Are you happy now? 1.3259 0.04682 135 96 34 5
852 If you don't stop moving, nobody's gonna know you even existed! 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
853 Yes, even a caveman can do it. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
854 Sure, I can lengthen the tusks but everyone knows they're implants. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
855 Be patient, I'm nearly done. I know it must feel like an ice age that you have been posing. 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
856 Don't laugh; in a million years I’ll be famous! 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
857 I don’t love being pigeonholed, but yes, I would classify myself as a cave artist. 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
858 Stop calling it fake art!! 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
859 More woolly...less mammoth. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
860 An artist is never understood in his own time. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
861 Work with me, baby...give me a little more trunk. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
862 Trust me. This will be mammoth. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
863 Don't move. I'm trying to create prehistory here. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
864 Get over it. It's called primitive art. 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
865 Thanks for posing for peanuts. 1.3259 0.05239 135 101 24 10
866 Yes, yes... I can make the tusks longer. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
867 I'm really evolving. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
868 My aesthetic is mostly pre-historic post-modern. 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
869 It's not you! It's a picture of you! 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
870 Oh really? And exactly what kind of lighting is "figure-flattering?" 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
871 In a million years, they won't know the difference. 1.3259 0.05133 135 100 26 9
872 Can you remember any other distinctive features? 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
873 Relax, I promise you I'm getting your best side. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
874 A little more tusk? 1.3259 0.04563 135 95 36 4
875 Can you give me a little bit more of that "I'm being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger" look? 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
876 I promise. No one else will ever see this. 1.3259 0.05547 135 104 18 13
877 Don’t worry about it. If Lescaux taught us anything, it’s that the cave wall adds twenty pounds. 1.3259 0.04799 135 97 32 6
878 Sorry, the wall adds five pounds. 1.3259 0.04682 135 96 34 5
879 Look alive. 1.3259 0.05239 135 101 24 10
880 No, I won't make them look bigger. 1.3259 0.05024 135 99 28 8
881 Sorry -- the wall adds ten pounds. 1.3259 0.04314 135 93 40 2
882 Try to remember. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
883 After the rhinoplasty, this is what you'll look like. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
884 Years from now they'll wonder about the elephant in the room. 1.3259 0.05239 135 101 24 10
885 I can't do anything about it; if I make your hips smaller, your nose will look bigger. 1.3259 0.04913 135 98 30 7
886 I'll try shopping this one out to a political party. 1.3259 0.04682 135 96 34 5
887 It's for a National Geographic pictograph essay on life in the Stone Age. 1.3258 0.04749 132 94 33 5
888 Alright, fine. How much woolier do you want? 1.3258 0.04625 132 93 35 4
889 If I can hold my arm up, you can certainly hold your trunk up a while longer. 1.3258 0.05101 132 97 27 8
890 Please be patient, I usually draw bison. 1.3258 0.04749 132 94 33 5
891 I can't help it, your butt really is that big. 1.3258 0.04625 132 93 35 4
892 All my models pose nude. 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
893 Be patient! I'm trying to capture your enigmatic smile. 1.3233 0.04471 133 93 37 3
894 Well, if you must know, I’m developing a cartoon about a modern stone-age family... 1.3233 0.04955 133 97 29 7
895 I know a tiny mammoth is a oxymoron! 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
896 Yes, I know it's not life-size, but they'll get the idea. 1.3231 0.04531 130 91 36 3
897 Can we have just the hint of a smile, please? 1.3231 0.04117 130 88 42 0
898 Shut up! I'm a minimalist. 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
899 Don’t glare at me! It’s the nose Mother Nature gave you! 1.3228 0.04165 127 86 41 0
900 By the time you finish, I may be extinct. 1.3209 0.05254 134 101 23 10
901 No, I'm not making it look bigger than it is. 1.3209 0.05146 134 100 25 9
902 If I’d wanted action, I’d have asked the horse. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
903 Tusks down and head to the left 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
904 And how do you know what you look like anyway? 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
905 The retouch option includes wrinkle elimination and tusk whitening. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
906 Lick your lips. Toss your trunk. Gimme more sexy. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
907 It’s a cave drawing, not a Picasso. 1.3206 0.05447 131 100 20 11
908 You do know I kill you in this story. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
909 It's supposed to increase the property value. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
910 You're a great model, considering your working for peanuts. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
911 Relax, I paint all my subjects in the nude. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
912 If you don’t hold still I will paint the bison instead and make them famous. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
913 It's a logo for a political party. I'm trying to finish it before they go extinct. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
914 It's a bit primitive. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
915 I said smile. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
916 Look, I need to get this right before we drive you to extinction. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
917 Congratulations! The ultrasound just came in and it's a girl! 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
918 Cave art adds ten pounds. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
919 No, I don't think it makes you look 'prehistoric'! 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
920 Now, this is how you look from far away. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
921 You just don't appreciate modern art. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
922 Art critics are such Neanderthals. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
923 You’ll thank me for this after you’re extinct. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
924 The wife didn't want to pose nude. It's her loss. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
925 What do you mean, it doesn’t look a thing like you?? 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
926 I'm sorry but this is your good side. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
927 No. I don't want to pull your trunk. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
928 Who went extinct and made you the expert? 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
929 Oh be quiet. Of course I know the difference between a mammoth and a mastodon. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
930 It's going to be mammoth! 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
931 I'm doing the best I can with the limited tools that have so far been invented. And when did you become an art critic? 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
932 You will look better with your tusks lower and I'm going to add a more woolly look. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
933 Wow! You look bigger in person. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
934 No, this light doesn't make your nose look big 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
935 Thanks, Donna. We're done. Okay, hunters, I'm ready for you to pose now. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
936 Stand still, I’m losing the light! 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
937 Ok, so I'm no good at tusks. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
938 Now it feels like a real man cave. 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
939 I said I could draw a mastadon not a masterpiece! 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
940 I don't do realism. 1.3203 0.04564 128 90 35 3
941 Patience please. This is, after all, a mammoth undertaking. 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
942 Stand still, so I can draw where the spear will pierce you. 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
943 Say “wooly” and tilt your tusks a bit left. 1.3182 0.04966 132 97 28 7
944 I think they'll call this my paleo-photorealism period. 1.3182 0.04603 132 94 34 4
945 I told you the wall adds 10 pounds 1.3182 0.04848 132 96 30 6
946 The ladies on Cave Tinder like a perky trunk. 1.3178 0.05390 129 98 21 10
947 Until they invent mirrors this will have to do. 1.3178 0.04795 129 93 31 5
948 What do you mean 'my style is too primitive'? 1.3178 0.05390 129 98 21 10
949 Yeah, yeah, big tusks. 1.3178 0.05390 129 98 21 10
950 I don’t have a mistress to paint, that’s why. 1.3178 0.04667 129 92 33 4
951 10,000 years from now do you really think anyone will be able to tell the difference between a Mammoth and a Mastodon? 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
952 I think this will be one for the ages. 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
953 Your butt IS fat! 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
954 I know I know your trunk is bigger than that. 1.3178 0.04536 129 91 35 3
955 Okay, before I add me spearing you, try to look a lot fiercer. 1.3178 0.05501 129 99 19 11
956 What do you mean I have to put things in perspective? It's not invented yet! 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
957 This, not me, is your ideal mate. Got it? 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
958 You're a natural. Most of my subjects won't even think of posing nude. 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
959 Oh yeah? Well, 35,000 years from now you'll be dead and I'll be the toast of the town. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
960 I’m calling it “there’s an elephant in the room” 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
961 Can you arch your trunk a little so it's like you're smiling but also you're not smiling? 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
962 I’m beginning to think that choosing you as my muse was a mammoth mistake 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
963 Just hold still, in 10,000 years somebody will think this is important. 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
964 Did it ever occur to you that maybe I make you look fat because you ARE fat? 1.3178 0.04795 129 93 31 5
965 How would you know, have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror? 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
966 And now for a pair of happy little tusks. 1.3178 0.05501 129 99 19 11
967 Stop moving. Pretend you are frozen in time. 1.3178 0.04667 129 92 33 4
968 Okay, okay! I won't put the spears in the drawing until after you leave! 1.3178 0.05390 129 98 21 10
969 Hold still or I won’t be able to finish before the Homo sapiens arrive. 1.3178 0.04667 129 92 33 4
970 Hold that pose. One day this picture is gonna make both of us famous! 1.3178 0.04795 129 93 31 5
971 I've told you a hundred times to keep still - why can't you remember? 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
972 Hurry up with those spears, I'm almost finished making the menu. 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
973 It's Maslov's higherarchy of needs: first food, then fire, then self-reflection. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
974 I know, congratulations, they're HUGE. But I'm still doing it my way. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
975 Trust me, cave-ies are all the rage right now. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
976 I know it's small. It's a representation. It will evoke an emotion in the viewer. It's art, for crying out loud. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
977 Yeah, well, you'll look a lot worse when they dig you up 40,000 years from now. 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
978 Your free offer includes only a wall-sized picture. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
979 Yes, you will be extinct but try to smile 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
980 Smile...someday your image will be the symbol of an extinct political party 1.3175 0.05480 126 96 20 10
981 I don't know what you mean your "good side." I can only paint one side. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
982 Is this the man you saw? 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
983 When I invent perspective, people will see how big you were. 1.3175 0.04163 126 86 40 0
984 I've told you a hundred times, I don't care if my painting doesn't capture the real you. It's not as if anyone else is ever going to see it. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
985 A smile will not make you go extinct. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
986 Let me Cave-Mansplain something to you real quick. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
987 This shall be my cromag-num opus. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
988 And that's how you become irrelephant 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
989 Pretend to run. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
990 How about more pensive? Consider your own extinction. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
991 I'm evolving. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
992 I can't pay you for posing, but years from now you'll be famous. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
993 But you must realize that the cave wall adds tens pounds. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
994 This will make you immortal, and the subject of hundreds of doctoral dissertations. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
995 Size doesn’t matter 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
996 But drawing you to scale would be a mammoth undertaking. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
997 Why's everything gotta be political with you? 1.3175 0.04163 126 86 40 0
998 No, of course not. The cave adds 10 pounds. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
999 Trust me. You’re gonna be mammoth. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1000 Maybe you have a good memory, but I need to write it down! 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
1001 Its time someone acknowledged the elephant in the room 1.3175 0.05480 126 96 20 10
1002 Get happy. All my models work for peanuts. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1003 It's oil based and should last about 5 million years. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1004 The perp's tusks--were they about this long? 1.3171 0.04804 123 88 31 4
1005 Just in case you go extinct 1.3171 0.04804 123 88 31 4
1006 What do you mean I’m making you look fat?! 1.3150 0.04962 127 93 28 6
1007 I am going to call it the elephant in the room. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
1008 Say peanuts. 1.3150 0.04962 127 93 28 6
1009 This is a mammoth undertaking. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1010 Okay, I'M finished now. You can get dressed 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1011 Trust me -- this IS your good side. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1012 First man to notice the elephant in the room. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1013 How many times do I have to tell you?!? Hold still and stop worrying about it - those rumours about the ice melting are a complete hoax. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1014 In the future, this will be considered a mammoth achievement. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1015 Now will you stop bothering me for a baby picture? 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1016 I don't like it either, but 10,000 years from now they'll be lining out the door to see it. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1017 Using burnt sticks and working with this miserable lighting, of course it's a bit primitive ! 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1018 Yes, I know it's called rhinoplasty, but, trust me, you're a perfect candidate. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1019 'lookin' good...now let's see those ivories.' 1.3145 0.04633 124 88 33 3
1020 We can CavePaintshop out the wrinkles later. 1.3145 0.04633 124 88 33 3
1021 Relax, I know you're not that fat ... perspective hasn't been invented yet. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1022 Trunk UP! How can you keep forgetting? 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1023 I’m sorry, you only have to hold this position a little longer. My buddies just are not going to believe me unless I post a picture of you on my wall. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1024 You You’ll get your peanuts when I’ve finished. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1025 Ok, let's take a break. But, remember that pose. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1026 I'm going to call it " Make the Stone Age Great Again". 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1027 This drawing of you inspire an entire political movement! 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1028 Just wait until mirrors are invented. Then you'll see that, yes, your ears really are that big. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1029 Okay, okay, I'll add your great tusks and and your big hairy shoulders but I get to be the Great Hunter with Spear. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1030 Can't you hold it till I'm finished? 1.3140 0.05382 121 91 22 8
1031 And did he have any facial hair? Tattoos? 1.3125 0.05518 128 99 18 11
1032 Gimme a break...do I tell you how to stampede? 1.3120 0.04875 125 91 29 5
1033 More tusk. It needs more tusk. 1.3120 0.05613 125 97 17 11
1034 I mean, sure, it’s no Lascaux... but we all have to start somewhere, right? 1.3120 0.05378 125 95 21 9
1035 Let's talk about the elephant in the room. 1.3120 0.05378 125 95 21 9
1036 Good. Now a little ambiguous smile. 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1037 I hate to break it to you, Doug, but there's no angle that would make you look "svelte" - as if that's even a healthy body image for someone with your bone structure. 1.3115 0.05712 122 95 16 11
1038 I know, I am not Leonardo, but you are not Mona Lisa either. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1039 I'm sorry, but the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1040 If you move one more time, I'll switch to abstract. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1041 Trust me, nobody will care about those tusks. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1042 Yeah, well you're no mastodon 1.3115 0.05470 122 93 20 9
1043 No, I won't paint your tusks larger. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1044 Believe me, it's your good side. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1045 Yes, it is cast in stone. 1.3115 0.05344 122 92 22 8
1046 Yeah, well, Mr. Art Critic, maybe you should evolve some fingers and see if you can do better. 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1047 Never discuss the elephant in the room, but my therapist say drawing OK. 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1048 This is how you will look after we monetize those tusks. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1049 The original elephant in the room! 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1050 Of course I won't show anyone else. The pictures are only for me. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1051 I told you no more paintings or else we're gonna lose our security deposit. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1052 It’s cave art ,not a portrait! 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1053 What do you mean the trunk is too small? 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1054 ...and what was your husband wearing when you last saw him. 1.3115 0.05470 122 93 20 9
1055 Just because you are a Republican doesn't mean you can't give me a little smile. 1.3115 0.05344 122 92 22 8
1056 'Thanks for agreeing to the naked thing." 1.3115 0.05470 122 93 20 9
1057 Everybody is a critic! 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1058 You can unfreeze now. 1.3115 0.04668 122 87 32 3
1059 My trunk just looks small now because it’s cold out. 1.3109 0.05303 119 89 23 7
1060 I hope you understand that modern art shies away from literal representation. 1.3109 0.04425 119 83 35 1
1061 I progressed to minimalism, as I strongly feel it is the most relevant visual language for our day and age 1.3101 0.05019 129 96 26 7
1062 I call this the "The Elephant in the Cave." 1.3101 0.04088 129 89 40 0
1063 Hold still, this will be worth millions when you’re extinct. 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
1064 "The last time I posted on my wall, i got seventy-five ughs". 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1065 And after you do that, in about 18 months to two years, a little baby mammoth is born... 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
1066 Hey Babar, what’s the glyph for “remember”? 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
1067 Oh, I didn't see you there... 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
1068 See, you're not the the elephant in the room anymore; He is Ok? 1.3089 0.05049 123 91 26 6
1069 I’m not making you look fat. You’re a mammoth. 1.3083 0.05893 120 95 13 12
1070 Stay still! I am trying to record history! 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1071 Don't worry, I'll airbrush out the wrinkles. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1072 Yes, it's a nude and no, I don't think your mother will "die of embarrassment". 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1073 I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1074 Give me coy. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1075 Don't worry, I can airbrush the wrinkles out. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1076 If you don't like it, just say so. Quit ignoring the you in the room. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1077 Your motivation? Try Survival of the fittest. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1078 Try to look less frigid. 1.3083 0.04704 120 86 31 3
1079 Give me a break, I just invented fire. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1080 This will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1081 I'm not making you look fat. You ARE fat. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1082 It's nude for beauty, not objectification. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1083 See, you look fine without them. The ivory trade will be good for both of us... 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1084 Wait, before you trample me, let me post this to my wall. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1085 Seriously, you're even afraid of a drawing of a mouse? 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1086 This is a mammoth task. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1087 Yeah? Well, you're no Mona Lisa. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1088 By the time you're done drawing, I'll be extinct! 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1089 Sure I hunted you, but can't you separate art from artist? 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1090 At the moment, this is our only suspect. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1091 I suppose you think you could do better. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1092 I know this is difficult but did you happen to see the color of his eyes? 1.3083 0.05893 120 95 13 12
1093 I own the original and full copyrights on any prints or reproductions. Did you even read the model release before you signed it? 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1094 Yes, I'm sure you will soon be history. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1095 if you don't hold still you'll look like a bison 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1096 Its called scale. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1097 Thanks for answering the ad. I knew models are willing to work for peanuts. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1098 I'm experimenting with a more Mesolithic style 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1099 Just you wait - a true artist is never appreciated in his time. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1100 It going to be a cookbook. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1101 Quit that right now - the cleaning service doesn't come for another week! 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1102 What do you mean that's not your best side? 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1103 Don’t worry. I’ll give you the biggest tusks. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1104 I told you, size does not matter! 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1105 Trust me Linda, this is your good side. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1106 Stop it with the trunk when I'm not looking! 1.3083 0.04704 120 86 31 3
1107 Sorry, the cave wall ads 10 pounds 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1108 You'll be famous. Whose going to remember me? 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1109 I know this is awkward. I don't usually do nudes. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1110 Don't worry. Cave walls always make you look 10% fatter. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1111 Now, how about a little, enigmatic smile. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1112 How long has your wife been missing? 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1113 Make up your mind already. You going to swipe left or right? 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1114 Now make up your mind. Trunk up or trunk down? Tusks or no tusk? Wooly or not wooly? 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1115 Global Warming is just an hoax! This painting on ice will last forever.. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1116 Life sized? No, if you'll remember, what I said was life LIKE! 1.3083 0.04552 120 85 33 2
1117 Don't worry we will find him - I'm posting his picture on my wall. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1118 When we started you were just a Mastodon. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1119 And this is how you will look after the tusk removal surgery..... 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1120 Hold still. I'm entering this for a GOP logo design competition! 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1121 OK. Fine. I’ll make the tusks bigger and the butt smaller. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1122 Can't you stand still ? 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1123 Ok, I'm ready for the hunters with the spears. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1124 Enough with the enigmatic smile. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1125 I am sorry, but yes, I am not exaggerating; your nose really is that big. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1126 This could take forever. Think I'll just find some mastodon-pattern wallpaper. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1127 Hold still, this is for pre-history. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1128 To make the drawing larger would be a mammoth waste of time. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1129 I need to start over. You blinked. 1.3083 0.05650 120 93 17 10
1130 Oh stop it. I'm not making you look fat. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1131 I’ll Protoshop out the wrinkles later. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1132 I want to remember you after you're gone. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1133 Yes, the firelight is on your good side. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1134 Yes it's nude, but it's tasteful. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1135 If you're looking for tusk exaggeration or ash brushing, you're in the wrong cave. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1136 OK I'm done - you can get dressed. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
1137 Relax, the wall adds ten pounds. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1138 Hold it...hold it...good. Now show me 'stampede chic.' 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1139 Really? Well, I remember it differently... 1.3058 0.04522 121 86 33 2
1140 My god, the late afternoon sun softly highlights your ineffable confidence and unrivaled ability to lean into a pose. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1141 Making you look mammoth? Seriously? 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1142 Stop laughing - one day "Caveman" cartoon contests will be all the rage. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1143 Excuse me, but rendering you full size is too mammoth a tusk....er task. 1.3058 0.04958 121 89 27 5
1144 Just think, after this you won’t be working for peanuts anymore.... 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1145 One day, we'll be discovered. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1146 Ceci n'est pas une pipe. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1147 Never mind the mouse, stand still! 1.3058 0.05485 121 93 19 9
1148 Well, it wouldn't look 'stylized' if you'd just hold still! 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1149 If you want a life-mate from your profile could you at least try to smile? 1.3058 0.04522 121 86 33 2
1150 Ok, for this next scene, pretend I hunted you for dinner. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1151 Please stand still, we both don't have much time! 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1152 Well, I suppose I should address the elephant in the room. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1153 Yes!, yes!, give me that sexy look again. 1.3058 0.04817 121 88 29 4
1154 Close your left eye and tell me what you see. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1155 Yes. I did shorten the tusks a little, but I think it gives you a more youthful appearance. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1156 Well good for you, me I gotta write it down. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1157 What do you mean you look like Babar? 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1158 Maybe it doesn't look like much now, but give it 35,000 years 1.3058 0.05485 121 93 19 9
1159 You are big! It's the picture that got small. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1160 That's it baby. Keep that look. You look amazing in this light. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1161 You may go extinct, but through my art you'll live forever. 1.3058 0.04522 121 86 33 2
1162 Quit blinking! 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1163 Look, when you took the gig you knew it was for a nude study. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1164 C'mon. Three syllables. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1165 Don't forget the tusks.. they're my best feature! 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1166 Any particular reason why you want me to omit your to-die-for tusks? 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1167 Yes, I know. Another prehistoric cartoon in The New Yorker. But it pays the rent on the cave. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1168 Okay, I'm finished, but don't go anywhere. I'm throwin' a big barbecue later tonight, and I can't do that without you, either. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1169 Draw me like one of your french elephants. 1.3051 0.04257 118 82 36 0
1170 I just hope someone draws my picture before I go extinct. 1.3051 0.05451 118 90 20 8
1171 It’s a primitive sketch. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1172 This would go a lot faster if you'd just smile. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1173 Wait till you see what I do with the tusks--you're going to love it! 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1174 Trust me, in 20,000 years you'll be famous. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1175 I'm going to call it my pleistocene period. 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1176 Smile. Don't think of Trump. 1.3051 0.05582 118 91 18 9
1177 Then what? 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1178 Don't be so hard on yourself-- you seem very evolved to me. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1179 For the last time, this picture does not make you look fat! 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1180 Laugh now, someday this place will be Soho. 1.3051 0.05451 118 90 20 8
1181 It may not seem like it now, but we're making history here. 1.3051 0.04584 118 84 32 2
1182 Just a few more minutes - extinction can wait. 1.3051 0.04584 118 84 32 2
1183 In the twenty-first century A.D., a people called Americans will hope the party you represent will become extinct. 1.3051 0.05710 118 92 16 10
1184 I didn't say it was a mammoth painting. I said it was a painting of a mammoth. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1185 No, that's not her. The cow that stole my fig tree had beady little eyes and a real attitude in her walk. 1.3033 0.05320 122 93 21 8
1186 It is primitive art after all. 1.3033 0.05059 122 91 25 6
1187 If you'd BROUGHT your plastic circus ball, I would have DRAWN your plastic circus ball! 1.3025 0.04707 119 86 30 3
1188 Stand still or I'll never get this done before the Ice Age. 1.3025 0.05277 119 90 22 7
1189 You can get dressed now. 1.3025 0.04856 119 87 28 4
1190 Yes, even a cave man can do this. 1.3025 0.05277 119 90 22 7
1191 And it doesn’t smell like you either! 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1192 Show me some anger... Like you were about to be hunted to extinction. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1193 I understand its not accurate Henry but between the two of us I'm the only one with opposable thumbs. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1194 Ask the antelope. Ask the sabertooth. The charcoal always adds ten pounds. 1.3025 0.04553 119 85 32 2
1195 Give me 'SAVAGE'! 1.3025 0.05000 119 88 26 5
1196 I'm gonna add a bowler hat, just for kicks. 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1197 Relax. I can photoshop it. 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
1198 This is going to be a classic. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1199 Trust me, you'll be famous some day. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1200 Now give me a pout. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1201 I'd rather look more like a Democrat. 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1202 Now give me that enigmatic smile. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1203 Try to look slightly amused. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1204 Is this what the suspect looked like? 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1205 I'm calling it "artistic license". 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1206 For the thousandth time, stop posing and just try to look natural! 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1207 It’s nobody you know. 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
1208 Until I started to draw you, I never noticed the color of your eyes before! 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1209 No the wall doesn’t add 10 pounds! 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1210 Can't you see I'm trying to capture your playful side?! 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1211 Anyway, they told me my technique was barbaric, so I dropped out of art school and pursued my own interpretation of post-Neanderthal realism 1.3017 0.04617 116 83 31 2
1212 They say "the cave wall adds ten pounds." 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
1213 Jerry, this IS your good side. 1.3017 0.05640 116 90 17 9
1214 I'm not so good at tusks. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1215 This is for posterity, just in case you go extinct. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1216 Don't worry, it's not permanent or anything. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1217 Yes, this is what you look like and no, it is not to scale. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1218 It just looks that way, the cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1219 Draw me like one of your French caves. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1220 No Erick, it won't make it to the New Yorker, they haven't started publishing yet. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1221 It’s a matter of perspective, okay? 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1222 I just have to think of something funny to write underneath it 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1223 Relax, I'm just getting to the tusks! 1.3008 0.04152 123 86 37 0
1224 Okay, I uploaded your picture to my Facebook wall. 1.3000 0.04822 120 88 28 4
1225 As you requested, I'm taking a few inches off your nose. 1.3000 0.04822 120 88 28 4
1226 If you want this to show you winning a battle with a tiger you're going to have to figure out how to get one to pose. 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
1227 One word. Three syllables. 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
1228 I'm using long lasting paint, so we should be good for awhile. 1.2991 0.04585 117 84 31 2
1229 No, it is not an armadillo. 1.2991 0.05728 117 92 15 10
1230 And you think you can do better ? 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
1231 A smile, please. A little sort-of mysterious half smile. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1232 What do you mean "Draw me like one of your French mammoths?" 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
1233 Good. Keep your trunk down and tusks up. 1.2991 0.04896 117 86 27 4
1234 I know you're naked....but it's ART! 1.2991 0.04896 117 86 27 4
1235 And just how would you like me to show your “incredible memory”? 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
1236 You aren’t fat. Charcoal adds 200 pounds. 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
1237 Paint me like one of your French mammoths. 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
1238 Well, you are somewhat stout. 1.2982 0.04814 114 83 28 3
1239 Theoretically, nothing is set in stone. 1.2982 0.04814 114 83 28 3
1240 Is it OK if I post this? 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
1241 Keep still, I have to finish before you go extinct. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
1242 You try to capture 'inherent majestic grace' using a stick and some colored mud. 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
1243 Oh be quiet, I've got to start somewhere. 1.2982 0.05563 114 88 18 8
1244 I don't do portraits. I'm a cave man -- only side views. Now will you please turn! 1.2982 0.04973 114 84 26 4
1245 Why must you always dwell on the size of your tusks. 1.2982 0.04650 114 82 30 2
1246 Hold still. I’m loving the firelight reflected in your eyes. 1.2982 0.05421 114 87 20 7
1247 No, I’m not gonna make it bigger. 1.2982 0.05421 114 87 20 7
1248 You'll look like a woolly mammoth when I'm finished 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
1249 Give me that mysterious smile. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
1250 I don't know what cheese is either. Just trumpet something and hold it for a minute or two. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
1251 I said I could make you look smaller,not thinner. 1.2982 0.05421 114 87 20 7
1252 I promise no one will think you were truncated. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
1253 I got your good side. 1.2982 0.04480 114 81 32 1
1254 Uh, your butt actually IS that big. 1.2966 0.04861 118 87 27 4
1255 It's more of an abstract. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1256 I promise, no-one will see it. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1257 Well if you must always be in the room, let's get your portrait done. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1258 Keep your trunk on. I'll get to the tusks. 1.2957 0.04937 115 85 26 4
1259 Next, we need a creative caption. 1.2957 0.04937 115 85 26 4
1260 It's not you, specifically, more the essence of you in a post-modern reality. But, yes, I could make the tusks bigger. 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
1261 No, I won't airbrush out your wrinkles. 1.2957 0.04937 115 85 26 4
1262 For the last time - life-size costs extra - a LOT extra! 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1263 I'll soon be a Master, Don! 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1264 Hold still. It's a difficult tusk. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1265 I know you said you'd pose for peanuts, but I don't know what they are. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1266 Which side IS your good side? 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1267 Yes, this is your good side! 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1268 In 20,000 years you will be famous 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1269 How'd you start that fire? 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1270 I'm trying to capture a fresh perspective, whatever that means. 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1271 It's called creative license, and I say it looks like you. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1272 It's not meant to be literal. 1.2946 0.04853 112 82 27 3
1273 Well, perhaps their subject matter was a little more cooperative in Lascaux! 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1274 Now remember, the limestone adds ten pounds. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1275 The ad said 'Draw the mammoth. Win an art scholarship'. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1276 Shall we do the kitchen in wildebeest? 1.2931 0.04900 116 86 26 4
1277 OK, you are here..... 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1278 Did the assailant have tusks? 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1279 You had to sneeze at exactly that moment. 1.2931 0.05197 116 88 22 6
1280 Less pensive, and more awe struck. 1.2931 0.04584 116 84 30 2
1281 You might not believe this, but I actually started out as a gatherer. 1.2931 0.04245 116 82 34 0
1282 This is just a rough sketch. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1283 Scoff all you want now, cuz in a thousand years I'll be famous & where will you be? Extinct! 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1284 You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1285 This is a mammoth task. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1286 I prefer to call it "Naive Art". "Primitive" is so uncool. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1287 I call it 'Tiny Elephant' 1.2909 0.05967 110 88 12 10
1288 This is you in 10,000 years. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1289 Does this look like the perp who tried to steal your ivory? 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1290 Yes! But is it ART? 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
1291 If you turn your head a bit, you can catch the firelight on that right tusk. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1292 You want the trunk bigger? 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1293 What do you think? It's my first trunk show. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1294 A pearl earring? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of! 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1295 I did not make you look woolly. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1296 Evolution, mevolution. And I suppose you believe in climate change. 1.2909 0.05967 110 88 12 10
1297 Now we'll just add some happy little clouds. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1298 The wall always adds a thousand pounds. 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
1299 Hold still will you, this is going into National Geo's prehistoric issue 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1300 The saber-tooth got time-and-a-half because it had an agent. Also, teeth. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1301 My big concern is that the place's new owners will paint over it. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1302 For the last time, this IS your good side! 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1303 Just a few more minutes....It's all mastodon. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1304 I'm trying to move away from Neo-Paleolithic Impressionism. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1305 Once I'm done, I'll post it on your wall. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1306 Can you show me "Paleolithic"? 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1307 Yes I noticed you have grown since I started. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1308 It begins with an 'E' and has 3 syllables. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1309 I'm tired of standing here. Why can't you just do it from memory? 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1310 Okay, now you draw me. 1.2909 0.04718 110 80 28 2
1311 Ok, now raise your trunk and give me a pout. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1312 You just don't get primitivism. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1313 Stop moving...I told you, the fire is just an illusion...we haven't discovered it yet. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1314 What do you mean, "now draw yourself under my left front foot?" 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1315 Don't look at me, the cave wall adds a 200 pounds. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1316 Yes, you are the elephant in the room. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1317 In case your memory fails... 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1318 Stand still, this will be pre-historic one day! 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
1319 What do you mean, not wooly enough? This is how you look! 1.2909 0.05826 110 87 14 9
1320 Ok, fine, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2909 0.05681 110 86 16 8
1321 No! I won't make your tusks bigger. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1322 I told you, painting first, peanuts second. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1323 My early work was more abstract, but I feel like I am gravitating towards representational pieces these days. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1324 Give me more pout. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1325 JUST THINK. THOUSANDS OF YEARS FROM NOW, THIS WILL BE THE ONLY EVIDENCE THAT YOU EVER EXISTED. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1326 How do you spell that? 1.2906 0.05159 117 89 22 6
1327 We'll have our first retrospective in about 10, 000 years. 1.2906 0.04865 117 87 26 4
1328 Did your attacker have any tattoos? 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
1329 The cave adds 20 pounds. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1330 If you aren't happy posing for me, you can always run away to the circus! 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1331 Does this make your tusks look too big? 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1332 You're not the only one getting tired of the caveman cartoons! 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
1333 I’m happy to take off a few inches but I need you to smile. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1334 Don't worry--nobody's going to see this. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1335 This is only a sketch. The final version will be life-size. 1.2870 0.04567 108 78 29 1
1336 No, this does not make you look fat 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1337 Yes. I will get your horns in the drawing. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1338 Keep your trunk up or I'm going with the donkey! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1339 “Trust me, this will make you famous”. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1340 Just a little more to the left, Paul. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1341 The charcoal add ten pounds. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1342 Anyways, the cave wall adds ten pounds. Everyone knows that. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1343 This better not end up on the web. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1344 Of course, what I'd really like to do is direct. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1345 It does NOT make your ass look fat. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1346 Don't worry, the drawing adds 10 pounds! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1347 Now paint me like one of your Paleolithic girls. 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1348 You're far away -- do I have to explain the rules of perspective to you again? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1349 If you want it bigger, make sure an elephant never forgets his checkbook next time. 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1350 Say tundra grass 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1351 ‘I’m going to call it Elephant’. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1352 That’s enough fooling around. Let’s focus on the tusk at hand. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1353 I don't care if your tusks ARE toasty, could you please stand still? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1354 This technique could have prehistoric significance one day. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1355 Thank you for standing still for three months. The unicorn drove me crazy. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1356 I can make you look smaller, but not thinner. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1357 Fancy staying over for dinner? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1358 Quit moving your trunk! 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1359 No, I said you're looking "tusky"! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1360 Don't be so vain. Nobody's going to see this. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1361 I get it. You're a mammoth, but I've only got so much paint. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1362 How long is this going to take? I’ll be extinct soon! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1363 Can you give me that iconic mammoth smile? 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1364 "I'd ask you to say, "cheese" but it is not invented yet. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1365 No, I can't just 'knock a few pounds off'. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1366 Just going extinct is no reason not to at least smile for me. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1367 Trust me, this is your best side 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1368 Ars longa, vita brevis. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1369 Well which side IS your good side? 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1370 It's not surrealist, you're just that fat. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1371 No one'll believe I got an elephant to pose for me. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1372 Well, someone has to acknowledge the elephant in the room! 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1373 I know, I know...you're mammoth. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1374 When first starting a diet, it’s best to visualize a future slimmer you. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1375 No, I will NOT make them larger! 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1376 Hold still. Have to get this right before you become extinct. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1377 I guess I'd have to say my artistic style is still evolving. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1378 Here we go again with the "Make my tusks HUGER...." 1.2870 0.05891 108 86 13 9
1379 Now turn sideways while Gorg pretends to throw a spear at you. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1380 I know your trunk isn't sticking straight out, it's called artistic license. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1381 There; now no one say Torg 'ignore elephant in room' again! 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1382 No, I don't think it makes your butt look big. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1383 Okay now play dead so I can draw the next scene 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1384 I'm all out of ivory white. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1385 It's not meant to look exactly like you. I'm experimenting with Pre-Impresssionism. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1386 And after the surgery your nose will look loke this. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1387 Before you get upset, remember that the wall adds 10 pounds. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1388 Gladys, I think it's time we address the elephant in the cave. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1389 I guess I'd call it Post-Neanderthal Realism. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1390 it’s called prehistoric minimalism 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1391 Turn a little bit more to the left, please. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1392 Trouble is, people never truly appreciate art till we’re dead. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1393 They won’t know you were in the room. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1394 Don’t worry, I’m sure no one will ever see this. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1395 Look, I paint what I see. You just aren’t as thin as you think you are. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1396 Try to show a little more leg. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1397 Wow... The cave drawing really does add 10 pounds. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1398 Let’s see a little more tusk! 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1399 No, this drawing does not make you look fat. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1400 The wall adds 10 pounds. Honest! 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1401 Oh don't exaggerate, your tusks aren't that big 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1402 The cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1403 Look, you want Thomas Kinkaid, you hire someone else to do your portrait. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1404 No, I don’t think it makes you look fat. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1405 C'mon...Angry! Give me Angry! 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1406 I'll note that images on the wall may appear smaller than they are. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1407 Stay still. I want to preserve you. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1408 You said smaller. If you wanted slimmer, you should have asked for slimmer. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1409 Why does Bob Ross make this look easy? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1410 I'm going to leave the tusks off because it will make you look less extinct. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1411 have you considered a nose job? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1412 Do I really have to pose naked? 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1413 But you are fat. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1414 Funny thing, my next customer after you is a donkey! 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1415 Just wait, you'll be famous in 3600 years. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1416 Are you kidding? It looks just like you! 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1417 This painting will make you so famous that someday you will symbolize lower taxes, and an oil rig in your own back yard. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1418 At least TRY to look presidential! 1.2870 0.05891 108 86 13 9
1419 It's post-prehistoric style, okay? 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1420 Again, how long has he been missing? Are you sure he isn't just extinct? 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1421 We’re done. You can get dressed now. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1422 No, I'm not showing the tusks - people will kill for them. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1423 Relax! They won't know that I didn't hunt you down! 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
1424 hold still not everyone has your memory 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1425 Cave walls really aren't my preferred medium. 1.2857 0.04430 105 75 30 0
1426 ...and if you REMEMBER our agreement, and I know you do...the trunk needs to be EXTENDED....EXTENNNDED. 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
1427 I happen to like 'white elephant art.' 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1428 You seem to be having trouble with Pictionary. How about charades? 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1429 Let's review: You need one portrait for your passport, and you desire a second one for your mother? 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1430 My agent says do to this until there’s a market for abstract impressionism. 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1431 Yes, posing naked is part of the job. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1432 C'mon, work with me! Let me see that personality! 1.2844 0.04532 109 79 29 1
1433 I know it's not a faithful representation, but the trunk looks better this way. 1.2844 0.04716 109 80 27 2
1434 Nudes are my specialty. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1435 I can't seem to get the smile right. 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
1436 Can you make my trunk look bigger? 1.2844 0.04532 109 79 29 1
1437 You should talk? I've seen your paintings. 1.2844 0.04341 109 78 31 0
1438 If you want to switch parties, fine! But in this cave we still vote Neo-Pachyderm. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1439 Martha, your ass looks fine! 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1440 When we started this, it was erect. I'm not changing it now. 1.2843 0.04902 102 75 25 2
1441 Well you call it Primitive but I'm telling it's Figurative and that's what your nose looks like. If anything I've made it smaller. 1.2843 0.04902 102 75 25 2
1442 What do you mean by reductive? 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1443 You'll be safer if I don't draw in the tusks. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1444 I know you could work from memory, but I need you to stay put. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1445 Just hold still and I'll finish before you're extinct. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1446 I’ll do my best, but the wall adds five pounds. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1447 You moved your trunk again! 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1448 As you leave, could you please ask the saber-toothed tiger to come in. 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1449 Don't worry. The wrinkles come out in post-production. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1450 Could you just stop evolving until I finish this? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1451 Of course it's derivative. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1452 I haven't discovered perspective yet. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1453 Have you been a nude model for a long time? 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1454 No, I will NOT make your nose look smaller. I'm a realist. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1455 I know I didn't draw them in. They look fake on you. Are they implants? 1.2830 0.04787 106 78 26 2
1456 What I can do for you is a procedure called a tuskectomy. It’s very common for mammoths looking for a more youthful appearance. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1457 The agency told you you'd be posing in the nude, right? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1458 It's not really a selfie if I do all the drawing. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1459 For the last time, stand still and quit going extinct! 1.2830 0.04787 106 78 26 2
1460 Ugh, the lighting in here is prehistoric. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1461 Remember, the cave wall adds 10 lbs. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1462 When the donkey arrives I'd like to do a political cartoon. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1463 Okay, okay. I'll make your tusks look longer. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1464 Calm down. I'm starting with your grandmother on your father's side who had no tusks! 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1465 I'M NOT DRAWING THIS TO SCALE - OK? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1466 You think art is pointless? I promise you this will be here long after we are. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1467 Let me just finish this portrait of you, and then you can go play in the tar. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1468 Yes, it is too that big! 1.2830 0.05958 106 85 12 9
1469 Did you notice how short I made your legs? I call it the "Corgi Mammoth". 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1470 Yeah, I know, but you ARE fat. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1471 Ok, I may not be a Leonardo, but you certainly are no Mona Lisa! 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1472 I'll draw full-size once you invent the ladder. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1473 Okay, we've got a big nose, big enamels, now how about a big smile! 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1474 Hold still or you're going to look like an elephant! 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1475 Is that how you want to be remembered? 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1476 I'm just saying, without a better profile pic, you'll never find a mate. Then, where will you be? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1477 Give me a little more profile. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1478 Any other notable details? I'll send this image down to the station and we'll see if any matches come up. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1479 We're losing light. Think you can survive for one last session? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1480 Thank you letting me post this on my wall! My followers love elephants. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1481 Hold still .... I want to finish before you go extinct. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1482 Give me more of that pouty look. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1483 Give me a break, this isn't Lascaux. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1484 This is just a rough sketch with primitives. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1485 Yes, you have to be naked. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1486 What's the rush? It's not like you're going extinct. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1487 You can forget about that that modeling fee. We're both working for peanuts. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1488 If you mention the size of the tusks again, I'm going to turn it into a labradoodle. 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1489 Now for the tusks. On a scale from 0 to Trump, how self-aggrandizing would you like? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1490 I told you before that passport paintings take at least an hour. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1491 What say we knock off for the day and hit the ol' watering hole? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1492 One day you’ll be famous as the first elephant in the room. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1493 Of course it’s you! 1.2816 0.05921 103 82 13 8
1494 Don't be silly - it's not pornographic if you don't wear clothes in the first place! 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1495 Now, give me that Mona Lisa smile 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1496 The charcoal always adds ten pounds. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1497 No, I will not make you look slimmer. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1498 And thus ends our sex-ed class! 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1499 I can post whatever pictures I want to on my wall. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1500 I'm sorry, but you just don't have a good side. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1501 Stop complaining. I paint the way I see it. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1502 Alright already - I gave you a smaller nose. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1503 You don't look mammoth. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1504 Welcome to the GOP Convention 2019 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1505 Now give me that Mysterious Smile. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1506 just sayin, you're a bit long in the tusk 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1507 Don't expect my best work; you're paying me peanuts. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1508 I'll debut this at my trunk show. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1509 Plato's gonna get a kick out of this. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1510 The first critic! 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1511 You're beautiful, work with me. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1512 Look, if you'd try Paleo, perhaps your butt wouldn't be mammoth 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1513 We'll have to speed this up, I have other models coming in. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1514 No, I won't exaggerate the size of your trunk and tusks. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1515 What "good side"? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1516 So... am I hunting you or you're trampling me? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1517 Do we need to start with the birds and the bees or can we just cut to elephant boys and girls? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1518 Is there any other feature you remember of who stole your peanuts? 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1519 In this age, you either publish or perish 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1520 Well, I don’t see YOU picking up a paint brush! 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1521 Keep your trunk still if you want to finish this before the end of the ice age 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1522 It's art. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1523 Entry in the Mammoth prize competition: "The Elephant in the Room" 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1524 Yes, I'll make the tusks bigger. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1525 I know, I know, the cave adds ten pounds. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1526 Sneeze one more time and this session is over. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1527 But your tusks are what make you you... 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1528 Nobody will believe those tusks, trust me. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1529 Well, what do you expect!? I'm a friggin' caveman! 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1530 If you move I cannot give you 2 tusks. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1531 No, I will not lengthen your tusks. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1532 I'm sorry it's so two-dimensional, but perspective hasn't been invented yet. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1533 I know the tusks aren't to scale - it's for the National Portrait Gallery, not the White House. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1534 Okay, Say cheese. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1535 Quit whining, the Republicans will never pick you anyway. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1536 I tell you, that Paleo diet really has done wonders for your jowl line. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1537 You're part in the play will be to pretend to play dead when we put spears here, here, and here. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1538 You'll forgive me if I miss a few details—the lighting in here is terrible. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1539 Pleistocene sales are weak but the critics are predicting a hot Holocene. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1540 No, I can’t give you a Mona Lisa smile. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1541 So it's not enough to pose for me, you gotta be a critic, too? 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1542 I usually do at least five of these before I have one I feel good about. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1543 You're right! You do look better with a nose job. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1544 They say that the stone adds 1000 pounds. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1545 Yes, you did move. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1546 How long do I have you for? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1547 Keep that friendly, but fierce look 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1548 I know. It doesn't look like you. I call it Impressionism. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1549 Next we’ll do one with you in wool. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1550 The fire stays. It puts you in the best light. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1551 Yes, I know you're not this small. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1552 No, I'm not making your trunk too small. What are you, a Trump elephant? 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1553 That mysterious smile will get us nowhere. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1554 No, tusks are an element of patriarchal dominance. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1555 Yes, but could you make just a little effort to smile? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1556 Does mammoth have two ems or three? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1557 Well, you don't exactly look like the Mona Lisa, either. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1558 You might never forget, but I need a picture. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1559 Realism is so last epoch. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1560 I'm just making an artistic statement, okay? The tusks are a little too much. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1561 I am leaving the tusks out because they make you look bestial. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1562 Great! Alright. Now give me some pouty lips. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1563 I know it is primitive but someday cartoons will be all the rage 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1564 In a few thousand years you might become a Republican. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1565 Hey! I said don’t look yet! 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1566 You're so vain, you probably think this is about you. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1567 Look like you forgot something. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1568 Do you think you could draw it better? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1569 No, I am clearly -not- ignoring the elephant in the room. See? It's right there. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1570 Fuck off, I'd like to see you do better. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1571 This is not you. It's the Platonic ideal of you. 1.2804 0.04750 107 79 26 2
1572 How can you be an art critic? This is the first work of art! 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1573 Thanks for filling in. The saber-toothed cat fell into a tar pit. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1574 I always have trouble painting the nude figure. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1575 Trunk up, damn it! Trunk up! 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1576 No one will see this five years from now. Why are you so worried about a few extra pounds? 1.2804 0.04560 107 78 28 1
1577 Whaddya mean I would be better off hiring an interior decorator? 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1578 Don’t worry. This is a first draft. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1579 This is your baby picture 1.2804 0.04750 107 79 26 2
1580 I'm doing a whole series. I call it Neanderthal Geographic. 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1581 You say, he mounted you from behind - did you notice any distinguishing characteristics? 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
1582 C'mon Mona, where's that smile? 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1583 You can rest in a minute, just stop evolving! 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1584 The cave paint always adds ten pounds. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1585 No, no, no, My tusks are HUGE, HUGE! 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1586 Do you think it looks like Babar? 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1587 No, I don't think it makes your butt look big. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1588 You are not fat. You are Rubenesque. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1589 This just the IDEA of an elephant. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1590 Are you sensitive about how I do your tusks? 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1591 No, your butt does NOT look too big. 1.2788 0.05870 104 83 13 8
1592 Hold still. I don't want you to be extinct before I finish this. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1593 I'm sorry if I seem a little frightened -- I've never drawn a nude before. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1594 I know, they're HUGE...just give me a minute. 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1595 This is the last time I help you with a personal ad. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1596 For an upcharge, I can add more wool around your face, lengthen your tusks, and fill out your backside. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1597 What do you mean that's not how you remember it? 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1598 It's called scale, alright! Don't be so sensitive, my wall is only so big! 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1599 No! It does not make you look heavy. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1600 I might not have enough paint for the tusks. How do you feel about being remembered as vaguely anteater-like 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1601 Wildlife and hunters -- that's all people want in their caves these days! 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1602 Or course you don't look fat 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1603 Paint me like one of your Lascaux girls. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1604 Because, believe it or not, a day will come when you WILL forget. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1605 Wall add 10 pounds 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1606 I call it 'Portrait of the Elephant in the Room'. You got a problem with that? 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1607 Please -a little "Mona Lisa" smile won't hurt. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1608 Just think, in 40,000 years you'll be famous 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1609 Well, your nose IS big. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1610 No, I just do the drawing. You have to come up with the caption. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1611 Because you are always nude. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1612 What could you possibly understand about minimalism. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1613 I'm giving you a little more gravitas. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1614 I don't know Roger. It's lacking drama. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1615 Work with me here; stop closing your eyes! 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1616 Of course it doesn’t look like you; it’s pre-modernist art! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1617 No, I can't make the trunk longer. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1618 Come on, can't you just keep it up for a minute longer? 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1619 I’ll draw a few more of you, add a few stick figures, and you watch ... we’ll be famous! 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1620 You can put your clothes back on now. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1621 Don't tell me you've forgotten? It's called minimalism 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1622 Hold still, Lisa. I'm trying to capture that enigmatic smile. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1623 I've shortened the tusks to give you a more modern look. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1624 I agree. Mick drew your ears too small. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1625 Why? So people will know what you looked like if you go extinct! Now, up with that trunk and smile. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1626 I'm going for understatement of mammoth proportions. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1627 Yes, I can draw it so your trunk appears to look at a viewer anywhere in the cave. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1628 Don't complain it doesn't look like you. It will in 20,000 years. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1629 It's called "rubenesque". 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1630 Look, when you signed the release you knew you might be posing nude. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1631 Come on. No one will ever believe you were all that big. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1632 One day this will be known as Mammoth Cave. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1633 I dumbed it down to keep it family friendly. 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1634 I like painting pictures of my food before I eat it. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1635 Yes, I'll make sure the tusks look REALLY large! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1636 What'd you expect from The New Yorker? 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1637 Everybody's a critic these days! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1638 When we discussed scale, I meant pay scale! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1639 She told me I needed to do more than just hunting for her to stick around. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1640 The sonogram results will take one more stroke. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1641 You might never forget but we will 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1642 The firelight hides your wrinkles. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1643 Well you draw it, then 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1644 If you don't stand still you'll end up looking like a dog! 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1645 Next time you want to point something out to me, use your words! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1646 Paleoconservatives have commissioned a new symbol. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1647 For the last time, turn to the side! Try to look flat. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1648 A little more expression, please. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1649 Yes, yes, I'm sure this is your good side. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1650 I only do herbivores. Carnivores get hungry. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1651 President Trunk poses for his official portrait. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1652 What? I call it a caricature. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1653 I'm getting real tired of being your mirror, Greg. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1654 they say the walls add 10lbs 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1655 When we are dead, this is going to be worth millions, now stand still! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1656 I call it, "Mastodon in the Room" - it's sure to catch on. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1657 Tsk-tsk yourself! Let's see you try to draw me! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1658 Want me to airbrush out your stretch marks? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1659 I thought you said that was your good side. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1660 Everybodys' a critic. Stop already with the tsks, tsks. 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
1661 But global warming is a hoax! You will just love Africa, fur coat or no! 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
1662 This is a drawing of you for posterity - just in the event that you become extinct. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1663 I know what you are. It's still called rhinoplasty. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1664 Look, pretty soon we'll both be extinct. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1665 Don’t worry, it’s just for practice, no one’s ever going to see it. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1666 Stop kvetching, I see my ophthalmologist next week! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1667 What do you mean it doesn’t look like you! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1668 No, it really is that big. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1669 What do you mean by “Too representational?” 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1670 Did you have those surgically enhanced? 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
1671 No, I don't think this color makes you look flat! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1672 They say a picture is worth a 1000 herds. 1.2772 0.05990 101 81 12 8
1673 join now during our in cave special and I’ll have you looking like this in 6 months. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1674 Do you want to be remembered 3,000 years from now as the elephant with the droopy trunk? 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1675 It will be like you're frozen in time 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1676 For the last time, no I do not have any peanuts. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1677 No one is going to believe me if you don't hold still! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1678 Great look! Now hold that expression. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1679 Caricature is the future! 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1680 I think this mural captures the zeitgeist of the stone age. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1681 You bring more firewood and I'll carve you bigger tusks. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1682 Next time we'll do one clothed. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1683 Relax, it's to scale. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1684 Stop evolving! 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1685 It will be ready when it's ready. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1686 No, I will not give you a mysterious 'come hither' smile. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1687 You’ll need this to board the plane . . . 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1688 Draw me like one of your Lascaux girls. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1689 His ears were bigger and he was holding a large boulder in his trunk 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1690 Don't worry, I will downplay the nose. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1691 Actually, it hasn't been done before. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1692 Look, it’s not the painting that makes you look fat. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1693 Look, we all start going bald at some point... fine, I'll add more hair. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1694 Don't like it? No problem, it's only temporary. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1695 So everybody is a critic now! 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1696 I know, I know. It's just in case WE forget... 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1697 I look terrible - delete it! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1698 I'm sorry, but cave drawings always put on ten pounds. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1699 This ID should get you though the ICE age 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1700 I told you just 2 minutes ago; you don't get the roasted peanuts until the painting is completely done! I hate to tell you this, but your short-term memory is shot! 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1701 I can never get the nose right. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1702 If you don't like it, you invent painting. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1703 Trust me, it's your better side. 1.2762 0.04784 105 78 25 2
1704 Okay, get your trunk up. Break's over! 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1705 Yeah, well, the cave wall adds 20 pounds. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1706 I am not going to add wings and devil horns just to “Mess with the minds of future scientists.” 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1707 Yes, your butt does look that big. 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1708 Don't worry, everyone looks 10lbs heavier on the wall 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1709 Just a few steps closer. Trust me. It’s only there to keep us warm. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1710 Realism is so yesterday. This is modern art--it's not supposed to look like you. 1.2762 0.04784 105 78 25 2
1711 Don't worry: I'll caveshop it later. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1712 c'mon, look alive. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1713 Give me that Mona Lisa smile. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1714 This is what you will look like without tusks. Shall we remove them? 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1715 No I can't make your butt smaller, it's mammoth! 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1716 Yes. OK. For another fifty bucks I can make your trunk look bigger. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1717 Look, I'm a realist. I'm not going to shave off 10 pounds just because it'll make you feel better about your portrait. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1718 They all say they won’t date someone without a good pic! 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1719 If you can’t hold still, someday they’ll think you were a giant anteater! 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1720 It’s not a phase mom, it’s who I am. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1721 Try that enigmatic smile again. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1722 I don’t do tusks. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1723 It’s your good side. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1724 If only my perspective weren't just one-dimensional. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1725 When I'm done you'll never forget it. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1726 Hold still if you want history to see your tusks. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1727 Plato said what? 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1728 Because I liked you better when you were a baby. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1729 Hold still. I'm capturing you before you start leaning to the right. 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1730 First fire, now pictures, what next? A round thing I can travel on? 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1731 One more crack that it looks like a dog with a crooked nose and you'll find yourself just another woolly mammoth out of a modeling job. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1732 You think your trunk's tired, my arm is killing me. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1733 I'm hornier than that. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1734 Truth is, you're a bit long in the tusk. 1.2727 0.04499 99 72 27 0
1735 Yeah, your butt is that big! 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1736 I left them off the drawing because they might frighten the children, ok? 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1737 Pleasingly plump I'd say. But, have you heard of the Holocene diet? 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1738 Need more light.Blow on fire 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1739 I don't work for peanuts, you know. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1740 "One day they will find Picasso shared 2% of my DNA". 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1741 I'm getting 'woolly,' but I need more 'mammoth' from you. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1742 Yes, yes .... I’ll capture your subtle allure. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1743 Hold still. If we don't do this, they'll never believe we were both here at the same time. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1744 Tiny tusks make your trunk look bigger. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1745 No, of course I'm not trying to make you look fat. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1746 Oh? So now you're the expert on primitive art? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1747 Yes, it definitely shows off the junk in your trunk 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1748 This is a petroglyph...not a realistic portrait,Alphonse! 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1749 Okay, now give me, "flirtatious." 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1750 It'll be a discussion piece: "Elephant. In the room." 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1751 This had better get us both discovered. 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1752 Am I going nuts or did you draw me with two left feet? 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
1753 You must join me in Provence this Spring. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1754 What do you mean I made you look like an elephant. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1755 I'd like the smile to be a bit more enigmatic, if you please. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1756 It's called artistic license. You okay with that? 1.2700 0.04683 100 74 25 1
1757 No I did not make you look fat, you are fat! 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1758 This light really makes your trunk look smaller. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1759 Barb's going with fossilization but I felt like this better captured my essence. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1760 Hold still because I need to get this done before you become extinct. 1.2700 0.04894 100 75 23 2
1761 If you don't hold still I'll never finish. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1762 That's it! Would you mind sending the donkey in? 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1763 If your kid could do it better, why doesn't he do it. 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1764 For the sake of posterity, try to look a little more extinct. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1765 Yes, I remember saying it wouldn't take long. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1766 Stay still I’m trying to prevent you from becoming irrelephant! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1767 And if you must know, baby elephants came from the sky. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1768 Paint me like one of your French mammoths. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1769 No, I can’t remember you if you leave. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1770 I see myself as being more a man in a cave. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1771 Damn it, I said stay still! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1772 Tusk, Tusk, Tusk! 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1773 Had a Woolly Mammoth in here yesterday...acted like there's no tomorrow. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1774 Yes, I am glad we are both vegetarians. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1775 Thank you for not charging. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1776 Hold still, your selfie's almost done. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1777 Define Neanderthal. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1778 Stand still! You'll thank me in 20,000 years. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1779 Someday, everyone will be putting pictures of their dinner on their wall. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1780 I need more feeling! 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1781 We'll put up your picture, write a short bio & see if you get any likes. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1782 Don't worry. I'm a master, Don. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1783 Why do all you guys want a bigger trunk? 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1784 This is how you could look after only 30 days on a Paleo diet 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1785 You blinked. I'll have to redo it. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1786 Of course not...You don't look fat 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1787 You're lucky I picked painting over the piano. 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1788 I'm calling it Mammoth byFirelight. 1.2680 0.04521 97 71 26 0
1789 Yes, I know your tusks are your best feature. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1790 Hey, I hunted him, I ate him, I know what he looks like! 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1791 Sorry. This is the only sonogram covered by your insurance. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1792 It's not graffiti! It's portraitture. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1793 Try looking like your about to charge at me 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1794 When I'm finished, then you can draw me. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1795 You may not think that it looks like you—but it will. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1796 Back off, buddy. Can't you see I'm making a shopping list? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1797 All done! Our special today is two 8 by 10's and 10 wallet sizes in the caves of your choice 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1798 Now that I have fire I can see I need to work on perspective 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1799 A neolithic experiment in life drawing ended tragically when the sitter lost patience and trampled the artist 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1800 It does too look like you, and ‘yes’ left-handed is a thing. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1801 Hey, I'm an impressionist, not a realist. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1802 Yes, I'm well aware that some people will consider it 'derivative'! 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1803 I can't focus with you in the room. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1804 I told you, the cave adds ten pounds. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1805 No, I haven't forgotten to draw your tusks . . . they just aren't as long as you think. 1.2653 0.05901 98 79 12 7
1806 Stop thinking about climate change and smile! 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1807 How can I get a good picture if you keep closing your eyes? 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1808 Can you turn your tusks a little to the right please? 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1809 Great art never goes extinct. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1810 I'll bring out your inner Mastodon. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1811 What? It's abstrunk expressionism. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1812 That's it! Give me sassy! Give me sexy! 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1813 Settle down, no need to rush -- it's not like you're going extinct. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1814 Now bring in the donkey. 1.2653 0.04712 98 73 24 1
1815 Remove the double chins and whiten the tusks. Anything else? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1816 'Please hold still, it's only a matter of time before we're both extinct.' 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1817 Next! 1.2653 0.05901 98 79 12 7
1818 Now pretend you are being attacked by a lion. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1819 Ok, I get it. You will remember this long after I'm gone. Now can we just get on with it? 1.2653 0.04712 98 73 24 1
1820 Is that REALLY how you want to be seen in 100,000 years? 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1821 I have invented cave painting. Now you can look young and handsome, forever. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1822 The tusks? Let's just call them my fee for painting your portrait 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1823 This is going on your permanent record. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1824 Can you make me woolier? 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1825 Relax, I'm an impressionist! 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1826 I'm trying to capture the illusive quality of your mysteriously coy smile. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1827 Whaddya mean, that's not your good side? 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1828 No, seriously. How big do you want the tusks? 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1829 Hang on...I've still got to capture the room. 1.2637 0.04901 91 68 22 1
1830 No! I already made your butt look smaller. I'm not going to make your tusks look bigger. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1831 You're a little long in the tooth to be posing like that. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
1832 No. I won't make the ears smaller or give you less grey hair. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
1833 Everyone's a critic. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1834 For now it's you. Eventually we'll call it the Party of Lincoln. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
1835 If you have to sneeze hold it in. I just learned how to make that. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1836 I need an enigmatic smile. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1837 Enjoy that fire pal, because the Ice Age is coming...whatever that is. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1838 Of course it doesn't look like you. I'm an artist and you're a republican! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1839 Okay. Slip on the bathrobe and we'll take a break. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1840 I can leave the tusks out if you want a less poach-worthy look. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1841 Perfect. An emoji for the ages! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1842 No comments from the peanut gallery! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1843 This is in case they don't find our time capsule. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1844 Sometimes I think the only way you'd stand still is if you were frozen in a block of ice. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1845 We never agreed this should be life-sized. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1846 You said to make the nose a little smaller. Now, does THIS look like the guy who hit you? 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1847 Believe me, long-term you're better off without the tusks 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1848 You are big! It’s the caves that got small! 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1849 Mona Lisa you're not. So wipe that smile off your face. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1850 I'm done arguing.Cave light does not add a pound. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1851 I don't have time to argue with you. The saber tooth family is waiting and I'm on a deadline here. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1852 Two hundred thousand years from now they call it Photoshoping. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1853 If you don't stand still, I'm adding tons and tons of fur. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1854 No, your discounted price does not include a frame. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1855 Mmmm baby, work it, work it! Show the cave some love! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1856 It’s not as big as you think it is 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1857 Try to look fierce. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1858 Damn it, SMILE! 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1859 a little less tusk! 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1860 No, you don't get paid extra for posing in the buff. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1861 This is mini you. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1862 I know you did mine by memory, but I'm just not there yet! 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1863 "I'd like to see you try it, Mister "I don't have thumbs". 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1864 It’s how I prefer to remember you. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1865 If you stand still a little bit longer you'll be famous in 10,000 years. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1866 Can you do it again? I think I blinked. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1867 No—it doesn't make you look ten pounds heavier! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1868 Hey, take it easy, ok?! I might be no DaVinci...but you are definitely NO 'Mona Lisa'... 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1869 You can send in the stick figures now. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1870 Prehistoric Pictionary 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1871 Stay still! I want to finish before you're extinct. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1872 Yes, I know it's not to scale. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1873 You want Cubism? We haven't even invented the wheel yet. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1874 Can we talk about the elephant in the room? 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1875 Stand still, you will go down in prehistory... 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1876 But the tusks are a part of you. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1877 The guys with the spears should be here soon. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1878 I'll paint the tusks when I'm good and ready! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1879 Stop blinking!! 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1880 Act a little more alive. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1881 Ceci n’est pas une mastodon. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1882 Thighs are painted to proportion. I invented fire but I’m not a miracle worker. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1883 If you can't stand still there are plenty of pigs in Sulawesi who'll work for half the money. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1884 No exceptions. Profiles only! 1.2632 0.04542 95 70 25 0
1885 Calm down, I'll make your tusks look bigger. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1886 Yeah, you’re paying, but I paint it as I see it. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1887 What do you mean, you prefer your right profile? 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1888 This could be you after mid-terms. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1889 Smile 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1890 I haven't fucking finished yet!!! 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1891 You moved. Have to start over again. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1892 Could you smile please? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1893 By the way, I’m hoping you can stay for dinner. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1894 Should we talk about the elephants in the room? 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1895 So you think you could do better, Mr. no opposable thumb? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1896 I'm trying to show your good side. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1897 You'll get your peanuts after I'm finished, just like we agreed. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1898 Oh, for heaven's sake! Is everyone a critic? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1899 Every time you move I have to start over. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1900 It's for your own safety. If I include the tusks, ivory hunters will be all over this place. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1901 How would you know what your ‘best side’ is? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1902 It's art. It's minimalism. Deal with it. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1903 I was given a 10,000-year residency. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1904 No, truly, the underlight is very flattering! 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1905 Thank you for posing in the nude. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1906 Hey, smile a little so some future anthropologist won't nickname you Wooly Bully. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1907 Goose me again and I'll give you a tattoo you'll never forget! 1.2632 0.06208 95 78 9 8
1908 No, I will not make your trunk look longer than it is. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1909 So what do you think of the paleolithic filter? 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1910 Let me draw you before you become extinct. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1911 Don't worry, firelight is very forgiving. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1912 What do you mean...it's too painterly? 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1913 Okat,...can you turn your trunk to the left and let's try it without the tusks. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1914 Quit complaining, it's just the first draft. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1915 I'm really more of an impressionist... 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1916 So, this is what you will look like without your tusks 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1917 Hang on, don't move, but...was that mouse there before? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1918 What did you expect? I said I'm Paleo Picasso... not Pablo. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1919 What do you mean "It's trademarked"? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1920 Give me the brush. You did my trunk all wrong... 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1921 Of course, it's primitive look around. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1922 But how will they know if it is completely accurate or not? By the time these caves are discovered, we will all be extinct. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1923 It's stone on wall. We have to go to Grog's studio to do oil on canvas! 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1924 Oh, cute, maybe your snout would like to take the brush. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1925 Kehinde Wiley got to paint President Obama, and me? I'm stuck here with the opposition party. 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1926 After ending Obamacare, stopping immigration, and defunding liberal colleges, the GOP turned its focus to its 2020 platform. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1927 Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1928 Stop moving! I want to finish this before it gets really, really really cold. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1929 Let’s pick this back up again tomorrow, I’m losing the good light. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1930 The lighting in this studio sucks 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1931 I haven't had the tusk lesson yet. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1932 Don't move...this is for posterity. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1933 Now let me see that enigmatic insouciance. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1934 If I leave your tusks off, they'll leave you alone! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1935 This will be better than finding your fossils, trust me! 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1936 Oh yah, well I'd love to see you do any better, Mr. "I-Have-A-Process." 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1937 Yea I know I'm no Da Vinci. And in case you haven't noticed, you ain't no Mona Lisa either. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1938 Whoa! You weren't supposed to see this. 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1939 Let's see YOU do one that's better. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1940 I'm a minimalist big guy. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1941 Objects in shelter are closer than they appear. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1942 Do you even know what 'enigmatic' means? 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1943 Stand still! This will go down in history. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1944 Now, just the tiniest little smile. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1945 Fred begins his Pachyderm blue period." 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1946 It's called photoshop. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1947 I think it's great that you decided to set up a profile. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1948 Would you feel comfortable taking off your tusks? 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1949 Don't know why we're even bothering, nobody is going to care how long your trunk was come next week, never mind 4 million years from now 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1950 Stop saying “tsk, tsk.” I haven’t learned to paint them yet. 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1951 Trust me. For trunk pics, it'll look more mammoth if it's less wooly. 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1952 The tusks will be an extra two rocks. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1953 You want to be PINK! 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1954 This is not an elephant 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1955 You're not fat, the petroglyph adds 20 pounds. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1956 At least the modeling is over. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1957 I hope he tastes better than he paints. 1.2584 0.04933 89 67 21 1
1958 I don't have any peanuts in my budget, but I can pay you in exposure. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1959 I can’t do this if you keep dropping your nose. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1960 If you can’t stand still, people will think you were fatter then your descendants. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1961 I'm tired of the "which is your better side" argument, and I'm not about to switch sides of the cave now. 1.2584 0.04933 89 67 21 1
1962 Masta Don, I presume. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1963 The donkey also wouldn't smile. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1964 I’ll need you for the ceiling. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1965 I’ll finish the portrait when you return from vacation. By the way, why did you choose La Brea? 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
1966 Stop moving! I’m working on perspective. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1967 Sorry, they say cave drawings add a few pounds. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1968 THIS IS A GIRL MASTADON....YOU HAVE TO TREAT THEM DIFFERENT, DUMBO.... 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1969 I work for peanuts too. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1970 If you're not happy with this drawing, do it yourself! 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
1971 This size is only a representation; I know that you're mammoth. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1972 Since you'll be the symbol of the Party that takes away protection against killing you and your family for parts or fun, let's leave out the tusks on this portrait.... okay? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1973 This will evolve to an online class. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1974 Suddenly you're a damn art critic? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1975 If I had a real light, I would have painted you on the ceiling. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1976 For a few bucks more I can add tusks and a longer trunk. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1977 OK, you want "Friends Only," ... what should I put down for your "Status?" 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1978 Take a break—I’m going to add the spears now. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1979 I'm not making it anatomically correct. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1980 Art's a long-term investment. Be patient. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
1981 Is this your first time modelling nude? 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
1982 It's not my fault. The cave wall adds 100 pounds. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1983 I just paint what I see — I can’t help it if you look mammoth! 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
1984 Don't worry, your official portrait will be done on something more long-lasting. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1985 Okay, now show me demure. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1986 I swear, if this one doesn't sell I'm cutting off an ear! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1987 No! Turn to the side--perspective hasn't been invented yet. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1988 You want perfection, buy a camera! 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
1989 What do you mean, you’re uncomfortable posing nude? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1990 That is your good tusk! 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1991 I know Ralph. You want urbane, dignified and conservative. But I'm seeing sexy with tones of flamboyance and risqué. Think Chris Christy. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1992 I usually don’t do nudes 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1993 Could you turn your head just a little to the right? 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
1994 Look, the mammoth I had in here last week didn't ask for a SINGLE break during his entire hour-long session. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1995 You’ve got good bones. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1996 Too literal? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1997 Hope you like it. I went a little less "mammoth" and a little more "woolly". 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1998 Hold still. We don’t want future humans thinking you’re wooly. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1999 The cave wall always adds ten pounds. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2000 If you don't stand still, I'm adding 500 pounds. 1.2556 0.06233 90 74 9 7
2001 It's a new invention of mine. It's called fire. Why? 1.2556 0.06430 90 75 7 8
2002 Quit moving! I'd like to finish this before you become extinct. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2003 What did you expect? You're paying me peanuts! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2004 Guess again. Its not a mouse 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2005 One more time with the tusks and I won’t put them in! 1.2556 0.06430 90 75 7 8
2006 It’s your good side. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2007 In my opinion, Botox is not going to do it. You need some extreme Rhinoplasty. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2008 Should I paint a spaceship next to you, just to mess with the folks who discover me in 50,000 years? 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2009 What do you mean I'm creating unrealistic standards? We always take out your wrinkles post-production. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2010 I know it doesn't look like you, but it will. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2011 Five more minutes and I'll toast the marshmallows! 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2012 Try to look less posed. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2013 I'm trying to make you look younger. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2014 Probably not. More than likely they'll call it, 'The elephant in the Cave'. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2015 Keep your trunk up....I am not finished.... 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2016 It gives me goosebumps to think that people from a future generation will build their entire careers around studying my drawings. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2017 I'm gonna leave the tusks off...they just make you look older. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2018 You do to look like that! 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2019 No, I will not make your trunk look longer for posterity! (Italicize the word "not") 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2020 I'm not making you look fat. You ARE fat. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2021 It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2022 I can't do hair. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2023 I need my artwork to be seen as historic, not so much pre-historic. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2024 Steve, the volcanos are erupting. I think there are more important things to worry about than whether or not my trunk is too big in your drawing. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2025 I know your trunk is bigger, its called artistic expression! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2026 Want me to make you a unicorn? 1.2556 0.06233 90 74 9 7
2027 Ok, I can't do this if you keep moving. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2028 His critics were savage. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2029 Oh, don't be so shy. I promise nobody else will ever see this. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2030 Wipe that smile off your . . . no, wait! 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2031 Can you try to look more extinct ? 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2032 If I include those teeth, it's going to really mess with whoever finds my drawings 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2033 Well if you think it stinks, you draw it! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2034 C'mon...lift up your trunk a little...I promise, no one's gonna see these.... 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2035 Be sure you get my good side 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2036 Is it too much to ask you to look more "enigmatic"? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2037 Don't worry, no one will see this. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2038 I'm a mimilist impressionist. I'm not worried about the size of your tusks. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2039 OK, I'll make your trunk longer. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2040 Hold still. I need to finish your portrait before you become extinct. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2041 Trust me, after the flood you’ll be glad we took the time. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2042 C'mon baby! Work it! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2043 Lighten up. I said it's a "distinct" likeness, not an"extinct" likeness. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2044 Objects on cave wall are closer than they appear. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2045 Lighten up, will you? 40,000 years from now, nobody will care! 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2046 You all think your trunk is larger than life. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2047 Stand still, pretend you are happy, this is what selfies are made of. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2048 No, I own the copyright but you’ll receive 40% of all sales. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2049 Stop complaining...doing your portrait is a mammoth undertaking. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2050 It’s called artistic integrity. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2051 Sorry but that's how I imagine you in the nude. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2052 No! I won't make your trunk look bigger. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2053 Sure, we would all like to lose a few pounds, but I’m telling you Paleo is a fad. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2054 Can you strike a slightly more enigmatic expression? 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2055 I don't like it. Rub it out and start over. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2056 Yes, I did not forget what you said at the last critique. You act like you are the only one with a memory. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2057 It's very disappointing that there's no new cartoon this week; could you please at least acknowledge when that's not happening and publish the date we can expect the next one? Thank you very much! 1.2556 0.06430 90 75 7 8
2058 ...a little less tooth on that smile... 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2059 Hold still. You will soon be extinct. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2060 All right,already! I'll take off a few pounds. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2061 THAT'S what you think I look like?! 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2062 Next week on Lascaux's Next Top Model... 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2063 Staying warm indoors during the Pleistocene era, by playing the earliest-recorded game of Pictionary. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2064 Tusks are extra. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2065 I pay you peanuts because you're an elephant, not because you're my muse. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2066 They might or might not find your bones, but there's a much better chance this painting could show up thousands of years from now and give you your itty-bitty shot at immortality. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2067 I am telling you for the last time size does not matter. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2068 I am not going to keep making your trunk longer! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2069 I'm tring to immortalize you here, stop fidgeting... 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2070 All right, already. I know it doesn't look exactly like you. It's modern art. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2071 I'm calling this series "National Geographic." 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2072 And this lighter area down the front will make your nose look less...bulky. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2073 Stop fretting, the cave wall adds ten pounds 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2074 With a longer handle to this brush I could come over there and paint a selfie. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2075 After the orthodontist deals with those tusks, this is what you’ll look like 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2076 No, I do not think this makes you look fat. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2077 Art history lessons at Lascaux: "Ceci n'est pas un mastodonte." 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2078 Ok, fine. I’ll give you hair. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2079 Are you wedded to that "tusked" look? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2080 I’ll include a caption when you invent writing. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2081 Is it E before I or I before E? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2082 I cannot do those tusks justice. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2083 Well, what else did you expect? You knew I was a Primitivist when you hired me to do your portrait. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2084 They will not think that your trunk was six inches long. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2085 You think it makes you look fat? 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2086 I told you.You have no 'best' side. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2087 Could you turn a little to the left? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2088 Oh you know what they say, the cave wall always adds 1,000 pounds. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2089 You don't have a 'good' side! 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2090 Don't worry, primitivism is all the rage. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2091 I don’t care if you’re a Democrat. Just sign the release. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2092 Of course it's a representation. No, your ass is not fat. Quit fidgeting. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2093 If you don't stand still, this is going to look pretty amateurish. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2094 Don't forget, this is how you'll be remembered. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2095 No, I did not make your nose too big. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2096 I keep telling you, I understand scale. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2097 I said, “I’ll draw the elephant in the room.” Not “I’ll address the elephant in the room.” 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2098 Should I put a foot note that says "not to scale?" 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2099 You're an elephant. Remember that. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2100 He looked just like you, but had no hair, and he said he was called an elephant. I said i'd never heard of such a ridiculous . 1.2556 0.04623 90 67 23 0
2101 Yeah.. now how about a half-smile? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2102 Don't worry. You'll look mammoth when I'm finished. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2103 OK, so you're no Mona Lisa and I'm no da Vinci. Let's just finish this. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2104 Don’t give that ‘art is extinct’ mammoth shit. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2105 It seems too conservative. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2106 Don’t give that ‘art is extinct’ mammoth shit. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2107 Don’t give that look—your trunk is that big 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2108 What do you mean it lacks perspective? Flat is good. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2109 This ain’t National Geographic, it’s for The Daily Beast. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2110 Will you please stop blinking? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2111 (Caveman) What do you mean there's something a little wrong with the trunk? 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2112 You are "The elephant in the room." 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2113 Now, could you give me a full profile and lower those tusks just a bit? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2114 Paint me like one of your cave girls 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2115 What do you mean, I make you look fat? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2116 I'm aiming for The Met but I'll settle for Natural History. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2117 Now, don't move!! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2118 Marta, get the scoop. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2119 Why not? Bison paintings are so cliché. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2120 Good, just move your head a little to the right. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2121 One more time, turn to the right so that I can capture the firelight glistening off your tusks. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2122 When I’m finished, I think I’ll name it after myself, “Master Don”. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2123 Hold still! Just because your species can draw from memory doesn't mean the rest of us can! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2124 The one you did of me was MUCH tinier. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2125 Hard to believe, Jumbo, but I’ve known you since you were this high. 1.2556 0.04623 90 67 23 0
2126 A little bit of a smile would be helpful. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2127 Just think, Some Day Your Relatives Will be led in circles and work for peanuts. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
2128 Look alive. 1.2551 0.04426 98 73 25 0
2129 People will be admiring this for centuries 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2130 The censors don't care whether or not it is flaccid. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2131 No, I'm pretty sure you did move. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2132 Don't worry, the carving adds ten pounds 1.2527 0.04840 91 69 21 1
2133 Because wallpaper hasn't been invented yet. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2134 Grog use cave wall - assure your privacy. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2135 And you drew me with a huge forehead, so now we're even. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2136 Don't make my tusks look fat 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2137 I am not trying to make you look fat. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2138 I am just doing your good side. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2139 Let me see you do better. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2140 Hold on. I think I've captured your essence. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2141 Can I get you to make my ears smaller? 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2142 In the old days, you guys were wilder and woolier. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2143 It's a cartoon. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2144 No! I'm not going to draw it longer just to impress someone 500 years from now. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2145 It's not your spirit animal. It's mine. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2146 This is for posterity, so give me an enigmatic smile. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2147 Me write pithy caption now! 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2148 I know you won’t forget, but I will. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2149 It wouldn't hurt if you showed less tusk. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2150 First man who took picture of his meal. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2151 Stop complaining. It is a painting, not a photograph. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2152 Keep the tusks up. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2153 And now I am going to depict my life struggles 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2154 This is just your temporary ID. Your permanent ID will arrive in about 30,000 to 40,000 years. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2155 You know the wall paint adds 10lbs. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2156 I'm an Impressionist. You don't like it, find someone with an IPhone. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2157 Hey, no evolving! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2158 I hope it's not too "hunter-gatherer" 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2159 I'm a caveman - what do you expect? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2160 Watch and learn. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2161 Don't be upset, Petroglyphs add at least 15 lbs 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2162 Hold still, please. Right after fire, we're inventing art. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2163 Hold still or they'll think you're a mammoth. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2164 Some day you’ll be famous. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2165 They say the cave adds 10lbs 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2166 You're paying in ivory, right? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2167 When I'm dead this will be worth a lot. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2168 How do you keep those things up? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2169 hold still, I’m not going to be here forever. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2170 I brought you in from the cold. The least you can do is hold still while I get the tusks right. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2171 If you want to be remembered as you are, don't move! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2172 No, I don’t think that it makes you look fat. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2173 It is your thin side! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2174 No I CAN'T make it any bigger 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2175 I want to tell everyone who did all the pooping in here. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2176 Don't worry, I have Photoshop. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2177 Well then fine! Ochre it is! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2178 Hold still. I'm not good at tusks. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2179 No, you don't get paid 'til it's done. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2180 No looking till it’s finished! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2181 Turn a bit further to the right, and hold it. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2182 What's wrong now? You said you wanted me to make you look younger. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2183 A switch to my paleo diet would help you shed those extra pounds. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2184 If this turns out blurry, that's your fault! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2185 And then you promise I'll have my cave back? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2186 I swear, you are the only elephant I have ever invited up to my studio 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2187 I'll call it 'The elephant in the room' and see if that flies. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2188 You want tusks how big? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2189 Ogg called it primitive. I say it's representational! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2190 For the last time: the tusks go on when you stop blowing out that fire! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2191 I needn't ask who forgot to take his Viagra this morning. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2192 Of course you were cuter then, but now you’re beautiful. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2193 But you DO have a week chin. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2194 I said give me more mammoth, not mastodon. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2195 Alright, but you're dating yourself. Tusks have been done and done. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2196 I am done with you. Go find some guys with spears now. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2197 Normally, I try to avoid cliches. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2198 For the last time, I am NOT drawing that to scale. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2199 You look less woolly in person. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2200 Some day you will appear on the cover of The New Yorker! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2201 You keep furling that trunk, we’re gonna be here all day. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2202 It's called realism. Get used to it. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2203 A little more to the right. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2204 Ceci n'est pas un elephant. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2205 Come on, you know the brush adds five tons. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2206 Ganesh, one day they will all worship you 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2207 Stand Still. Be fossilized. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2208 It's not small. It's mammoth! 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2209 Don't worry, everybody knows that size doesn't matter. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2210 You were supposed to roast the marshmallows! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2211 Sorry, Impressionism hasn't been invented yet. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2212 It's not supposed to be realistic. I'm a Pre-Impressionist. 1.2500 0.06312 88 73 8 7
2213 Can you make my tusks look longer? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2214 You didn't get my good side. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2215 No, I won't make your tusks look longer. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2216 I don’t usually use an agency model but this is going to be a painting for the ages 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2217 Relax. Don't be so self-conscience. Your ears look fine. In a millenia they'll be ten times the size. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2218 Hold still, no one has tried this before. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2219 Hey, shutup, its prehistoric, not postmodern! Everybody's a critic! Geesh! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2220 You can't be Kilroy because I want to be Kilroy 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2221 So, are you going to remember all this? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2222 it was suppose to be a surprise 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2223 I'm gonna make you a unicorn. I'm not good at drawing horns. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2224 No, darling. It’s all wrong. Rethink it. Less tusk. More trunk. And lose the gum. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2225 Yes it's small, but that will make your tusks look bigger. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2226 I can give you a full head of hair and make your tusks look HUGE if you’ll help move some lumber later... 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2227 Don't you start with your trumpeting. It's a new trend called minimalism. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2228 I know you’re upset about climate change. But come on, It’s almost done. Trunk up! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2229 If I make you look any thinner, you won't be an elephant anymore. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2230 Because it’s how I see you—that’s why. Now hold still. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2231 Don't worry. The zebra will be smaller. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2232 It is your good side. No one will ever see it anyway. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2233 Plato's gonna love this... 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2234 What! Timmy's in the well?! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2235 Some day you are going to be able to say you had your portrait done by the man that discovered fire 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2236 Listen, you’re only here because it was hard to come by flowers, fruits, and a pretty vase. So get with the program! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2237 . . . so I won't forget. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2238 Well, preliterate publications have described my art as quintessentially "Upper Paleolithic." 1.2500 0.04642 88 66 22 0
2239 It's called Evolution...from you, to this, to.....Donald Trump?! Maybe you should seriously consider Extinction! 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2240 I will be done a lot sooner if you stop trying to blow out the fire. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2241 Move again and you’re extinct. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2242 So you made the fire. Big deal. This will be in the March 5th issue of The New Yorker! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2243 Look, everyone knows the cave wall adds 10 pounds. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2244 No, I won't give her bigger boobs just this once. 1.2500 0.04539 92 69 23 0
2245 I know there’s more to you than this but do you really think that 20000 years from now they’re gonna notice that I didn’t actually capture your true essence? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2246 im going to refer to this as art, after you,Art. so stay still, and you will be famous. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2247 Yes, it's you. That's how you look. Go away. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2248 Yes, this is the living room - why do you ask? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2249 You’re an elephant, I’m an artist......I guess we both work for peanuts. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2250 No, I will not make your nose smaller. Without artistic Integrity, I have nothing. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2251 Sorry, can't make it any faster with this selfie stick. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2252 Your smile is always the hardest part to capture. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2253 Stop complaining, I'm doing the best I can. Besides, no one else will ever see it. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2254 Why on earth would you want a rainbow coming out of your trunk? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2255 I think it's flattering. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2256 I decided to make you look younger. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2257 I need them for the piano! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2258 Early man struggles with the short narrative. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2259 Don’t quit your day job. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2260 Ok, now go out there and let’s do better in the second half! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2261 No, I don’t think it makes you look hippy at all! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2262 Quit squirming, we're losing the light! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2263 It will be worth millions in years to come. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2264 Smile! and just remember---this is for the ages! 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2265 OK ... I will make your trunk longer. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2266 So the tusks are too short. It's art. Get over it. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2267 It’s the *idea* of you I’m after! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2268 My rendering of the elephant in the room. Pretty good considering I don't see you... 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2269 Any slower, and I'll evolve. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2270 I know it's the bronze age but I still dabble in the Paleolithic style. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2271 It's an homage. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2272 You'll survive longer if they think you have no tusk. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2273 This would be a lot cuter if you wore that adorable sweater I knitted for you. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2274 Not so, if I wanted all the credit I'd draw a picture of the hot sticks I made. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2275 Keep still and I´ll put in a good word for you at our next hunt. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2276 Its called neo-neolithic, actually. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2277 No, you're not my first. Have you heard of Mammoth Lisa? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2278 I’m calling it, ‘Mastodon in the Nude’ . 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2279 Well you weren't very generous drawing my trunk either. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2280 My in-laws are coming over, I thought it would be appropriate to have an elephant in the room. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2281 Extinction takes off ten years. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2282 You're my first plus-size model. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2283 I should have gone with the bowl of fruit. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2284 I'm not going for realism, ok? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2285 How do you spell your last name? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2286 It's called artistic interpretation, not fake news. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2287 Move again and no peanuts! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2288 Before I finish this portrait, can we please address the elephant in the room? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2289 I charge extra for family portraits. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2290 Quit bellowing --it's either draw you or eat you. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2291 Hold still--I won't be able to get this when you're extinct. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2292 It's not like leaving off the tusks makes you any thinner. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2293 This is why I can't play Pictionary with you... a peanut... really?!? 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2294 Your party's policies seem backward to me. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2295 "I'm calling it 'Woolly Mammoth'. 'Mastodon' doesn't capture your 'joie de vivre'". 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2296 Hold still! This is your last chance for immortality! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2297 Yes, if I had a better memory you wouldn't have to be here. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2298 Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2299 How about a little less Woolly and a little more Mammoth? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2300 C'mon! I did what you asked and made your trunk and backside look smaller...So why still the poopie face?! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2301 It's called fire and it really brings out the color in your eyes. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2302 You're not as wooly as I remember. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2303 I don't care if you suffer from TD, get that trunk up. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2304 Remember, please, this image is for the ages! 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2305 If you must know, Gary, I’m working on my novel. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2306 Whadda' you mean slimmer? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2307 I don't look that fat 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2308 I agreed to the nude, not to the life sized. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2309 I want you to draw me like one of your Lascaux girls, Jarg 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2310 Donald and a Little Marco, The Prequel 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2311 Representation is a defence against the Real. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2312 What do you mean, "Draw me like your French mammoths"? 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2313 It's big enough! That's just an urban legend anyway. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2314 Yes, I realize that you don't pose for mere peanuts.... 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2315 "Of course it doesn't look like you. I'm a Primitivist". 1.2500 0.06312 88 73 8 7
2316 I'm not including the ivory tusks because those are no longer considered art -- it's a long story. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2317 ,Why can't you keep it up? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2318 If you can't hold still there will be no walk through the tar pits. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2319 The cave wall adds a couple of pounds 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2320 You know what they say, 'Cave painting or it didn't happen.' 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2321 Man, is that really what I look like? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2322 The Republicans need a logo. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2323 Really? I look like an ant eater! 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2324 They're saying my art is just too B.C. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2325 It's called the unspeakable truth. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2326 Almost done, just putting on the final tusks. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2327 Quit moving or I'll invent the still life. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2328 The LasCaux's think their spotted horse is so great. You're going to be mammoth. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2329 This is my perspective. 1.2500 0.04642 88 66 22 0
2330 Well, it’s like Groucho said, ‘In Alabama, the tusks are looser.’ 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2331 The paintbrush adds 100 pounds 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2332 You're not fat, the wall adds 10 pounds 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2333 This is my early work. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2334 I can never get the tusks right. 1.2500 0.04642 88 66 22 0
2335 Relax. I can photoshop it. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2336 What? I'm drawing you! 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2337 That's how big you think my ass is? 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2338 Now, a little smile. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
2339 I'm giving it a modernist feel. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2340 The day will come when we will surpass primitive art! A great artist will actually depict a tomato soup can! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2341 You DON'T look fat. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2342 I did NOT draw you fat. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2343 I'll try my best to keep you to scale. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2344 Okay, I drew it shorter, but I still think you're being oversensitive about the length of your nose. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2345 I don't know what to tell you, I drew it proportional to your body. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2346 Hold still. This 'll be one for the ages. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2347 The glacier will keep, just hold still. 1.2472 0.04868 89 68 20 1
2348 er....because the tusks make you look fat. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2349 This is for posterity. What do you mean you don't remember? 1.2472 0.04868 89 68 20 1
2350 Don't criticize until I'm done. I've captured wooly mammoths, reindeer, bulls, and handprints like no one else. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2351 No, they won't. But they won't really know who the model for the Mona Lisa is either. 1.2472 0.04868 89 68 20 1
2352 No, I'm not going to "enhance your assets" for the drawing! 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2353 ....just try to smile in a more enigmatic way 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2354 Is that the mate you are looking for? 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2355 Models of your talent are nearly extinct. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2356 I never said I was a realist. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2357 Damn! Lighting is too warm. 1.2472 0.04868 89 68 20 1
2358 It's prepostmodern. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
2359 I prefer naturalism. Modernism is a fad and we'll be here long after that's extinct. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2360 My parents are still disappointed I didn't become a mammoth hunter. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2361 Do you think it looks primitive enough? 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2362 Shorter? But it gives you such character! 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2363 Don't worry, this will get tons of likes. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2364 Quarter turn to your right, please. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2365 It does look an awful lot like the perp, but to be honest, we all look exactly the same. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2366 Because elephants don't play poker, that's why! 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2367 You never forget, yeah. How many times do I have to tell you to keep facing left 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2368 Of course it doesn't do you justice. I'm a modernist. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2369 I am sorry but I need to leave space for others 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2370 look, you wanted this 1.2471 0.04706 85 64 21 0
2371 I didn’t want the focus to be on your trunktile disfunction. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2372 If you looked like this maybe I'd fuck you once in a while! 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
2373 That looks nothing like me. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2374 Sorry, the cave wall adds ten pounds... 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2375 Ok, now hold your tusks erect but relaxed... 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2376 That’s because you ARE naked!” 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2377 You get the idea 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2378 Stay still or I'll have to invent the eraser! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2379 Trust me. It's accurate. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2380 I'm telling you, Martha, the glow of the firelight will take ten years off of your face. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2381 I know it’s a little avant garde today but I think it will really get recognized in the next ice age. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2382 I am NOT fat-shaming you! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2383 It's called Impressionism, OK, so now hold still 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2384 I know it's not realistic. That's why I call it Impressionism. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2385 It's not exactly the enigmatic smile that I was looking for. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2386 Of course it looks like a potato. You look like a potato. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2387 In case you forget. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2388 You really need to go see the Mastodonist. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2389 It is you when your trunk didn't need viagra. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2390 I'm into painting and gathering 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2391 But on inside, Ug had passion for fine art. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2392 And don’t you forget! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2393 See? It looks stupid when I paint your trunk short. 1.2442 0.04660 86 65 21 0
2394 You want to be remembered, don't you? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2395 Yes you do have a big nose Live with it! 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2396 I think I captured the depth of your existential dread. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2397 It's your better side. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2398 Longer horns? Sure, it's not like it's carved in stone. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2399 It's got to be a nude, it's for Playmammoth Magazine. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2400 I'm hoping to be discovered soon. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2401 Where have you been for the the past three years? You’ve gained about two tons. I’ll have to start over. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2402 I hate this as much as you do, but please stand still. They say someday I'll be discovered. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2403 Stand still while I paint the Mammath Lisa. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2404 I guess we’ll see in a million years if you’re actually big-boned. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2405 It does not make you look fat, and besides, no one will ever see this. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2406 Are you sure she was wearing figure skates? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2407 As with many great artists, Zog’s masterpieces were met with indifference by audiences of the era. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2408 Don't worry about the action scenes; we'll bring in a double. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2409 Damn it, Mona, would a slight grin kill you? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2410 See, this is the way I want your trunk to be -- straight out in front! And the tusks down, if you can do that. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2411 Yes, that is what you look like. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2412 Calm down. The big nose doesn't make you look fat. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2413 Now hold still, I can only do this once. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2414 I meant if you go extinct! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2415 Could you look more prehistoric? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2416 Yesterday I invented art. Today I invented artistic license, so I can draw you looking scared if I want to. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2417 You'll never forget this. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2418 The wall really adds ten pounds 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2419 For the last time, only the model gets naked! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2420 NOW you tell me that's not your best side. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2421 You may not know this, but in a few years this moment will literally be frozen in time. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2422 Oh yeah? Well I might not be 'a cave-painter de Vinci,' but you're for sure no damn Mona Lisa! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2423 No, I can't make you look 'less grey'. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2424 And that's how babies are made.... or you will become extint 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2425 Cool it! I'm not going to make you look fat. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2426 What do you mean it looks nothing like you? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2427 Impressionism. It's called Impressionism. You want Realism, you'll have to wait 12,000 years. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2428 Some say my depictions are primitive. But I see my work as having elements of modernist abstraction. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2429 I'm having a retrospective at the Museum of Natural History 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2430 No, you don't look a little "long in the tooth". 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2431 Wendel, I found us a home, made it warm, decorated it nicely. So what if I am wearing your mother? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2432 Hey, your five minute break's over. Get that trunk back up! 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2433 Next I draw the island, add a tree, come up with a funny caption, and we’re done! 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2434 Yes, your nose really is that big. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2435 No, I'm not Michelangelo. I prefer to think of myself as Picasso in his primitive phase. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2436 No you're not... the campfire adds ten pounds. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2437 Can you please tell your party to stop cuting funding for the arts? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2438 Listen big shot, long after you are extinct, they will revere me and my miniatures. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2439 This is you. Look at me. Do you see the problem? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2440 I guarantee, you will be remembered as a great beauty. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2441 Baby, baby, not so jocund; give Daddy that inscrutable smile one more time. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2442 Stop smirking, just because you're evolved doesn't make you special. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2443 And in a few days, you can swipe your trunk left for a new female profile. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2444 I know I haven't said much but I can't stop thinking about the fact that there is the elephant in my room. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2445 The original Fox News. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2446 10,000 years from now they'll call it a masterpiece 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2447 I know it's crude. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2448 I'm not certain that I can capture your true essence. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2449 I have told you a M times, quit swaying around! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2450 If you must know, any resemblance to actual mastodons, living or dead, is coincidental. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2451 I'm going to paint you like one of those French woolly mammoths. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2452 Don’t blame me. The limestone adds ten pounds. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2453 .. ok, ok, I’m not gonna make you look too toothy! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2454 So as far as you recall this is who squirted the water at you. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2455 Finding you a mate is gonna take forever if you keep swiping left. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2456 It's called "The elephant in the cave" i'm gonna feature it in my next trunk show. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2457 I know it's not an exact likeness, but art is supposed to capture the subject's essence, not its superficialities. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2458 The fire adds ten pounds. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2459 I only paint what I see, so yes, this is what you really look like. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2460 Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French Mammoths. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2461 No, art does not have to be life-size! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2462 The Democrats picked a WHAT? 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2463 No, I haven't been to Lascaux. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2464 You know what's really wild? A troglodyte. Or, at least, their girlfriends are. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2465 You forgot again, trunk up... up! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2466 I'm looking for more intensity 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2467 And you're no Michelle Obama. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2468 Sure, take all the time you need to draw me. It's not like the Pleistocene epoch is ending tomorrow. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2469 You go around the left side,I throw the ball to you and you take it in for a touchdown.We win. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2470 What do you mean, the style feels dated?! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2471 This was your Mom, before we ate her! 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2472 I realize I’m no Picasso, but you’re no Ivanka Trunk. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2473 You moved again. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2474 This is becoming a mammoth undertaking. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2475 Stop smirking. This is your chance for immortality. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2476 As a starving artist, I can relate to getting paid peanuts for your work. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2477 Oh don't be so self-conscious, they say that the cavestone adds 250 pounds. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2478 Sorry but I only do neo-primitive... 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2479 I think I found the perfect shade of gray. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2480 Yes, it shows your eyes closed again. You blinked! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2481 But you said this is your better side. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2482 I suppose the next thing you’ll complain about is disappearing megafauna, more Pleistocene fake news. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2483 I know it's not to scale. I'm not some kind of caveman. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2484 Stop wiggling your ears. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2485 Don't smile if you want to be able to use this for your passport. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2486 They will never believe I didn't just imagine you in a few thousand years. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2487 I know you do, but think of all the fun misinformation we can cause drawing you without tusks. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2488 Everyone's a critic. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2489 First I memorialize you; then I eat you. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2490 Do that in here again and your days will be numbered! 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2491 Let's see those pearly whites. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2492 Okay, I made your trunk shorter; should I include the tusks? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2493 My therapist says if I keep at it I’ll get perspective. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2494 Keep in mind that cave drawings add ten pounds. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2495 You are really bigly big but I must draw you to the best of my ability for posterity. I cannot differentiate between a mammoth and a mastodon at this scale, but surely, your Siberia connection is unmistakable. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2496 Everyone's a critic all of a sudden. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2497 Don't worry...the cave wall adds 50 pounds 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2498 You have to stand sideways! 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2499 Will you stop with the spitballs! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2500 You are mammoth. 1.2442 0.04660 86 65 21 0
2501 Not for you. So I don't forget! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2502 First, we have to address the elephant in the room. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2503 If I draw them that way everyone will think they are fake. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2504 And after we got priced out of Brooklyn, where else could we go? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2505 Yes, I know your tusks are bigger than that. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2506 Would it kill you to give me an enigmatic smile? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2507 Hold still and try not to look so serious. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2508 Work it! Work it! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2509 Good. Now give me sexy vixen. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2510 What do you think, too tusky? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2511 This could be worth something in a few hundred thousand years. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2512 your gender, please? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2513 It was life-size portrait when I started! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2514 Look, I don't really care about your guarantees. It's as plain as the nose on your face -- you do have small ears. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2515 The last pictures I stored on the cloud got ruined when it rained. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2516 I'm posting this on my wall for "Throwback Thursday." 1.2439 0.04771 82 62 20 0
2517 Stand still, or I'll really chase you with a spear. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2518 Move your head just a little to the right. The tusks are giving me trouble. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
2519 Me call it "Drawing by Thag, Contest #1, May 12, 7432 BC" 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2520 We also do cards, calendars, and collages. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2521 I said, don't look! 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2522 What? You want fifty shades of gray? 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2523 I'm the only portraitist on this side of the glacier. This IS your best angle. 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2524 Primitive? 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2525 Can't you remember that I told you not to move? 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2526 What? Now you're an art critic? 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2527 I don’t need a critic ! 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
2528 Can you give me a little less tooth in that smile? 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2529 For your next lesson, we'll work on tusks. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2530 No, this does not make you look fat 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2531 Trust me, the President is wrong:, size doesn't matter. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2532 I think you're making me look fat. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2533 No, I did not make your nose too big. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2534 My wife wishes I would stop painting nudes. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2535 I'd like to see you try to get detail in this light 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2536 I don't know what to tell you - you need to lose a few thousand pounds... 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2537 That's not funny; do you want a tusk or don't you! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2538 You have not put on any weight, stand still 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2539 Hold still, dammit.... 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2540 So now, everybody's a critic. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2541 I’m rated one of the top artists of the Pleistocene age. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2542 I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2543 I told you already...the life-size version would take way too long! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2544 Draw me like one of your French Mastadons. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2545 I'm not going to get this right unless you stay still. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2546 Any thoughts on a winning caption ? 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2547 Now let's build some happy little trees . . . 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2548 Thus, the mammoth differs greatly from the mastadon. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2549 No, future generations won't think you're fat. Everyone knows a cave wall adds 10 lbs. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2550 Don't worry, I'll have Grog fix it in post. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2551 No, this is not where little elephants come from. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2552 I'm hoping some classy art will attract some women to the cave. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2553 Just this once, how 'bout a smile? 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2554 I'm losing light, stop moving. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2555 Take it from me that is your "good side". 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2556 Finally - someone is talking about the Elephant in the room. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2557 This is your Facecave profile. No tusks. They make you seem unapproachable! 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2558 I can't work while you're watching! 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2559 You know, you really look good by firelight 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2560 No. I don't sleep with all my models. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2561 You didn't paint my good side! 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2562 I can't believe my ears are that small. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2563 If we can get rid of the tusks your progeny will propagate the earth. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2564 You asked me to make you look thinner. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2565 Don't be ridiculous. The fire light does not make you look fat. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2566 I know your working for peanuts, but can't you just hold the pose for five more minutes. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2567 Now give me angry. A little more Jumbo, a little less Dumbo. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2568 Don't blame the artist. You're the one putting all that junk in your trunk. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2569 I left out your tusks. They'll never be worth anything. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2570 I have no idea but they'll write books about it. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2571 I know, but I only have so much grey paint. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2572 What part of “Turn 90 degrees counterclockwise!” don’t you understand? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2573 There's a song that goes with it, "Wooly Bully." 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2574 It's called primitivism, but I find that insulting. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2575 Stop moving, I don't want you to come out like a fuzzy mammoth. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2576 and that’s where babies come from. Questions? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2577 I wanna get it just right. You'll be extinct soon. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2578 Hold still! How do you expect me to capture your essence if you can't hold still?! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2579 So, you're sure you want to go through with the nose job? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2580 This is when you were a baby, remember? 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2581 Now's a fine time to tell me your right side is the better profile. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2582 Mr. Mastadon, I said your descendants would be African Elephants, not "A Frickin' Elephant!" 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2583 Had you exercised more and ate sensible meals, you wouldn't be worried about my vision. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2584 Who made you a critic? 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2585 Stay limp like that and you'll go down in history as the party of inaction! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2586 I can't hold this much longer my trunk is burning. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2587 It’s not as big as you think it is 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2588 I know you have a good memory but I still think you should take notes. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2589 Sorry, the paintbrush adds ten pounds. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2590 Could you give me a smile that's a little less toothy, please. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2591 Trumpet to right if like. Trumpet left, Og draw new elephant. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2592 Would you please hold still--you're the LAST ONE. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2593 It's supposed to look amateurish. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2594 Want to enter my caption competition? 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2595 I didn't bring you in here to judge my art skills, Paul. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2596 Yes, I pay you peanuts, but you'll have exposure for millennia to come. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2597 Yeah it's another caveman cartoon, you got a problem with that? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2598 Look, I know it doesn’t look like you. But the guy who hired me just wants something that will last. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2599 Listen, I don’t care if you think your tusks are too small. You’re paying me peanuts! 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2600 If you think your kid could do it better, why hasn't he done it? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2601 How do you expect me to get it right if you won't hold still? 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2602 I tried one of those correspondence courses, but I’m mostly self-taught. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2603 Relax. I'm sure they know about shrinkage in the future too. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2604 Forget the wheel, I needs someone to invent a bowl of fruit. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2605 It'll be a mammoth artistic achievement. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2606 I'm just trying to think of a caption. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2607 Are you sure you don’t want a robe or something? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2608 If you never forget, then what's the point? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2609 Elephants may never forget, but men do! 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2610 I'd appreciate it if you would show up on time. I'd like to get this finished before the Ice Age. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2611 I won't always be around to sign your name, you know 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2612 What? I’m an impressionist not a realist. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2613 No I did not make you look fat, you are fat! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2614 Hey! How about one of you and your friends playing cards? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2615 You're paying for this in ivory, right? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2616 OK, OK don't rush me, it's hard to work in charcoal, but in 30,000 years you'll be famous, believe me. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2617 You are are actually much thinner, the ice adds 10 tons 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2618 Just a little bit longer, then we'll go relax in the tar pits! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2619 No, I can't make you look skinny. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2620 I know that it’s not to scale! I only have a chisel- what do you expect? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2621 Relax...this will have no historical significance. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2622 It's like looking in a mirror, right? 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2623 MARSHMALLOWS? Never heard of them. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2624 Ok....keep your mysterious smile just like that! 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2625 I couldn't find a milk carton. This is the best shot we have of finding him. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2626 If I want to draw you wooly, then I will draw you wooly! 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2627 It’s representational 1.2381 0.04675 84 64 20 0
2628 I'm trying out this new "Paleolithic" style 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2629 I'm not going to argue! In the west, it's trunk UP for luck! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2630 If you don't stop fidgeting, I'll just find me a bison who can. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2631 Don't rush me...I do the tusks at the end. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2632 You can't handle the tooth!!! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2633 Fred's life drawing classes were a mammoth disappointment. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2634 Models are always forgotten. The artist and his work live forever. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2635 You'll be hearing from my lawyer 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2636 Have I got the trunk right? Is this a reasonable likeness of the elephant that took your cabbages? 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2637 You of all people should remember my password! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2638 Will you try to look a little more natural? 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2639 Hold still and stop leaning to the right. 1.2353 0.04628 85 65 20 0
2640 What do you mean "Walt is doing this in colour"? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2641 Hold still. This won’t last long. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2642 No, I don’t think this cave painting makes you look fat. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2643 'You look very stiff, can you do something wild and spontaneous?" 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2644 Your legs are supposed to look stumpy. It's a caricature. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2645 What? You're not funding National Endowment For the Arts! 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2646 I know, I know, I won't forget the horns! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2647 You are not fat. The wall always adds 10 pounds. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2648 Yes, I know what having long tusks really means. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2649 Trust me...the tusks add 50 pounds. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2650 God, you're beautiful! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2651 When I'm through with this you are going to be a celeb. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2652 Just be happy someone's paying attention to you for once. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2653 No, it does not make your butt look fat. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2654 Trust me. No one will know how horny you really were. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2655 These days, without social media presence you might as well be extinct. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2656 Mark my words, someday other cave people come here and grunt out loud - "Grog good artist, truly original, ahead of time." 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2657 I don't care how much you adore your woolly coat...I paint nudes...end of story! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2658 I'm sorry, but if I don't draw you with a spear in your side, everyone's going to think I'm a wimp! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2659 You’re big and stinky, yet I gave you a home, fire, and art; and you’re leaving ME ?? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2660 I'm an impressionist! I CAN'T painter you thinner! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2661 No, really, thanks for posing! I mean, what with hunting and all... 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2662 Can't you stand still for 10 minutes? I can make you famous in 30,000 years! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2663 Well what else was I supposed to do with a Liberal Arts degree? 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2664 I am NOT trying to belittle you. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2665 I don’t love it either. But maybe future generations will. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2666 Done. if you want wallet size, that's gonna cost extra. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2667 Can you make me look younger? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2668 Relax, this isn't my first cave drawing. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2669 Give me a smile now! The ice age is over. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2670 Please! The peanut breath is killing me! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2671 This is the best I can do. Hunting is my talent. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2672 Because your inner child doesn't have tusks! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2673 Give me a Mona Lisa smile. You know, enigmatic. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
2674 If you're going to criticize, you can go live in another cave. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2675 I'll let you take credit for fire, if you give me painting. Deal? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2676 Could you please lean a little less to the right? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2677 In about ten thousand years I'll be compared to Jackson Pollock. And you? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2678 Can you take a quarter turn to the right so that I can see all of those beautiful tusks? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2679 Don't worry---I can photoshop out your wrinkles. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2680 “Give me a break! It’s my first time sketching a nude model”. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2681 Stop moving, damn it! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2682 This is how you'll look after the face lift. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2683 Because the painting adds ten pounds. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2684 The wall takes away 10,000 pounds. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2685 OK so I'm not Leonardo, but you're no Mona Lisa 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2686 Emphasizing the ivory is probably a big mistake 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2687 hold still. I'm almost done. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2688 Hey, this is a cave. It's supposed to look like a primitive painting! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2689 Caves always make you look fatter. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2690 What the **** you lookin' at Ski Nose? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2691 I don’t know what to tell you, it adds ten pounds. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2692 I'm entering my prehistoric phase. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2693 Neanderthal jokes are so early Holocene. Think of something else. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2694 Hold still, or I’ll make you look hairy! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2695 I'm calling it "Ella font." 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2696 Trunk up a little, please. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2697 I want "Raging Bull" -- not "Little Women"! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2698 You have to face it, you have a big nose. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2699 No, my friend, I'm leaving the tusks out so you don't look too horny.... 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2700 Yes, I got your good side! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2701 I love how the light captures your trunk. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2702 If we take a little off the tusk, it will offer a much more youthful look. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2703 I'm sorry, I can only hold it up for so long! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2704 Just a little more to the left. Perfect! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2705 One day your grandchildren will really apprec- oh wait, never mind. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2706 Hold still, you'll be extinct one day and I need to capture this! 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2707 What happened to that "I've got a secret" smile of yours? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2708 What do you mean, I truncated your tusk? 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2709 For an extra ten spot Mr. Trunk, I can make your tusks a lot more...you know..."manly" 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2710 No, you don't need a nose job. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2711 Well you're the one who cut the NEA budget. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2712 I told you to lay off the bulking powder until we were done. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2713 You were right charcoal does work, but I don't see it becoming popular with artists. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2714 Hold still. I’m trying to get your good side. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2715 I like to think of myself as a pre-Impressionist. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2716 I'm almost to the part where I add the spear. I'm going to need you to hold really still. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2717 Okay, okay. I'll draw your tusks larger. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2718 Let's have a little more tusk 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2719 Do you remember what the asteroid looked like? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2720 Keep your trunk up, please. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2721 Feel like a ride, after? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2722 Don't give me that look.. I took off 10,000 pounds and left out the wrinkles like you asked! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2723 Well, it’s not supposed to look EXACTLY like you, it’s an ABSTRACT cave-wall painting. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2724 What do ya mean, what's cheese? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2725 Yes, I can make you look thinner. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2726 'Don't worry, I'll put some leaves and flowers in the background to soften you up.' 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2727 I'm capturing your playful spirit NOT your exact image. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2728 "Harvey, I'm audioning for the part of the Wooley Mammoth. Why am I naked again?". 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2729 I'm sorry you think the nose looks big, but lets be honest . . . 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2730 Yes, of course I know the difference between a wooly mammoth and a mastodon. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2731 I'm capturing your inner child. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2732 I'm looking to go beyond representational to early existential in this scene. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2733 Okay, wise guy, you want someone to capture your “essence,” go two caves over and talk to Pierre. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2734 Don’t be so critical. You’ll never understand modern art. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2735 Trust me this is your good side, and plus who's gonna see it? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2736 Before your first date, there's a few things you need to know. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2737 Okay, now where do you want the spear? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2738 First I discovered fire, then the wheel... I'm calling this one-"Pictionary" ! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2739 Sure, I love the mystic smile and all. But my palette is kinda limited here, so work with me! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2740 Trunk down? Really?? You'll regret this in the holocene. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2741 YES, this again... it's how we get the good commissions in the bigger caves. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2742 Of course you’re not that big - you know the cave adds ten pounds. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2743 I can draw a female next to you later big guy. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2744 Listen, this doesn’t feel ethical. If you’re that attracted to her then go talk to her; otherwise, finish it yourself. And to be clear, I’m talking about the painting not your other trunk. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2745 Finally, the New Yorker ran out of cartoons! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2746 More trunk less junk please. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2747 Doing a nude would be a lot more fun but I can't get anyone to sit for me. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2748 No, I will not draw you a bigger one.. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
2749 Turn a bit more...to the left please. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2750 I don’t do tusks. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2751 Who knows? Maybe some day my art will be discovered. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2752 Of course I'll draw you to scale when I move into my big cave. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2753 OK, now hold still for a couple of hours. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2754 Now lick your lips for me. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2755 Well, I think *you* need to work on accepting yourself. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2756 If you tilt your head a bit and lift your right eyebrow it would show your wry sense of humor. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2757 Look, the least you can do is keep your trunk up! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2758 For the tenth time, no, your tusks don't make you look fat. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2759 You blinked. I'll have to start over. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2760 Don't move!! You think this is easy? You think I'm doing this for a lark? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2761 I promise, it's flattering. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2762 I told you all I do are nudes. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2763 Stand still, or you're gonna be extinct a lot sooner than you expect. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2764 No, it’s the Delux Package that includes color. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2765 This is the composite based on eyewitness accounts. Are you saying you've never seen the perp? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2766 Stop blinking!! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2767 Naive? Sure, But with a touch of Neolithic whimsy, don't you think? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2768 No you can’t take it home when I’m done. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2769 Okay, now lie on your side and give me a strong, masculine expression. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2770 I get it, but it is the best I can do with this outdated lighting. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2771 What do you mean “it’s a bit wooly”?! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2772 If anyone's interested, where can they reach you? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2773 Maybe you never forget, but I need something to help me remember. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2774 I hate painting pets, but it pays the rent. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2775 No, those tusks don't make you look fat. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2776 For Oook's sake, stand still! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2777 Let's try a different expression. Imagine that you've just this second learned of the ivory trade. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2778 Perhaps we should have addressed that elephant in the room, sooner. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2779 Don't take this personally, but do you know your right tusk is longer than your left tusk? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2780 In 25,000 years, people will think you were a fertility god. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2781 You should know that I also love you for your mind. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2782 This is for my kids, I thought your friend the big bird was coming? 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2783 When someone invents the cell phone this will be a lot quicker. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2784 Just letting the wife know we are off to hunt and gather. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2785 Stop flinging peanuts Carl! 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
2786 It's an abstract. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2787 It's for the trunk sale! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2788 You know, you're not what I had in mind when I signed up for a life drawing class! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2789 Are you also available for the hunting scene tomorrow? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2790 Don't worry, I'll get your good side. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2791 For the last time, I'm not pulling your trunk. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2792 I promise you no one is going to remember this 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2793 Smile, damn you! 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2794 In an effort to confuse ivory poachers, early cave painters began painting elephants without their tusks. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2795 After you’re extinct, I’ll be famous. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2796 Can you make my tusks look longer? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2797 Find the hidden animals in this picture. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2798 I tell you straight, leaving out the tusks will make your life much easier. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2799 Out! Out! It's not finished yet! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2800 Freeze will ya? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2801 Let's do without the enigmatic smile, shall we? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2802 I am not objectifying you. This is in case, you go extinct... 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2803 No, I am not going to draw you with a saber-tooth tiger in your mouth. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2804 Try to look a little more menacing. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2805 No! I can't make you look younger and thinner. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2806 Just model for their logo, and don't mention you voted for Bernie. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2807 Hold still will ya?! The wife wants this finished before her parents arrive. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2808 Say, trees. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2809 Some day, we both may be extinct. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2810 Don't worry, Shep, by the time I'm finished, you're be the Mona Lisa of woolies. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2811 No, I will not give you blue eyes. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2812 Burning Man is terrible this year 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2813 I did not exaggerate the size of your nose! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2814 You should be thankful I've immortalized you in stone, especially considering my plans for this afternoon with my hunting party. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2815 See! You look so pretty when you smile. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2816 I prefer the Tuskan look. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2817 No, it's not exact! It's post-impressionist! 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2818 Did your attacker have any facial hair? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2819 No. The drawing doesn't add 10 lbs. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2820 Just a tad more to the left... 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2821 Yes. It's a new thing, called posting to a wall. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2822 You don't want your legacy to be a limp trunk, do you? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2823 Thanks for shaving. It brings out your thick skin. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2824 Tusk, tusk. I'm almost done. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2825 No, we can’t name everyplace Tuscaloosa!! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2826 You don’t have a best side 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2827 Could you show me a bit more tusk, please? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2828 Yes, paint by numbers would make it easier. No, I haven't invented them yet. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2829 Oh, Jeez. I told you the bathroom was right outside. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2830 You already asked me that yesterday, and I told you we haven't figured out yet how to make purple. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2831 What, another walk? Why don't you just use the litter box? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2832 I have no idea what "intellectual property" means! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2833 Stay frozen just like that...this might take me an eon. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2834 That's all for now. I'll fill in the hunters and spears later. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2835 Which did you say is your better side? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2836 Oh really, I drew the trunk too big? You knew I was a caricaturist when you met me, Patricia. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2837 It’s hard to say, I told you he was wearing a mask. 1.2346 0.06400 81 68 7 6
2838 Stop moving your ears! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2839 A little to the left, now hold it. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2840 Out. This is my equine period. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2841 You know it's bad luck to let your trunk down. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2842 Have you ever posed clothed? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2843 Well, sorry, but the paintbrush always adds a couple of pounds. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2844 I'll do your right side next. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2845 Maybe you can’t forget, but i can! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2846 Because those tusks make you look fat! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2847 Don't blink 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2848 I'm sorry, did I draw your nose too long? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2849 Hold still. It's your chance for 15 thousand years of Fame. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2850 I paint what I see, you ARE mammoth. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2851 If we call it ‘primitive’ they won’t know I can’t draw 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2852 For posterity,so you'll always be in the room. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2853 Do you think you can remember to stand still? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2854 History's first plastic surgery consultation. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2855 I know your trunk doesn't look like this, but it's an ad for Viagra 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2856 Don't move, I want to capture your better side. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2857 Move a little to the right. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2858 Don't you dare! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2859 I’m immortalizing you-you can scratch your nose when I’m finished! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2860 Ok, you're done. Send in the sabre tooth. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2861 Now hold that expression for a long, long time. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2862 What did you do with the horse? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2863 For the last time, no. Those tusks do not make you look fat. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2864 The lighting still seems off. 1.2317 0.04688 82 63 19 0
2865 Now don't forget this 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2866 try to look a little happier 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2867 You can't expect a mammoth depiction. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2868 No one will ever say 'Let's talk about the mammut americanum in the room' if you make it that small. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2869 It’s not you. The wall adds 15 lbs. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2870 Show me some passion, you precious pachyderm. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2871 If you buy the deluxe family package, I can include pictures of all your relatives, but only if you act today. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2872 Could you turn to the left please? 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2873 Cover your right eye and read the second line. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2874 I'd like to see you do better 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2875 No, you don't look fat in those tusks. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2876 You have an ephemeral quality that I am trying to capture. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2877 Yes, anyone could have carved this, but I did it first. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2878 I am going to call it Minimalism. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2879 This is not just graffiti but a real work of art that will live down through the ages. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2880 Smile, you will become known as the Mammolisa! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2881 This art won't last? Look who's talking. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2882 Don't worry, I'll make sure I get your good side. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2883 What do you mean it doesn't even look like you? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2884 ...and don't forget to brush in 'Don't Panic' in cherry red...it'll be there for millions of years 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2885 Your baby is fine. I’m afraid, though, that this will have to do until someone invents ultrasound. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2886 Come on now! Don't just stand there! You're a pro! Show some personality! Smile! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2887 Even if too small, I'm going to make You immortal, my Friend. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2888 Do you think I got your nose right? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2889 “Trunk for President “ The world’s first meme 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2890 Wow, the ochre really does add ten pounds 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2891 More enigmatic. I'm going for the Mona Lisa smile... 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2892 You know I can't do this if you keep evolving like that! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2893 Will you sit still already and stop it with ????Smoke Gets in Your Eyes???? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2894 You are the perfect symbol for my new, modern political party. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2895 What do you mean that my painting makes you look fat? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2896 What do you mean, I make you look fat? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2897 You should know I'm doing this for peanuts. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2898 If you had sat still, I would have been finished 20 years ago........ 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2899 "Lower your tusk and don't blink". 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2900 Tusk Tusk. Everybody's an art critic. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2901 Keep it up! I thought you guys never forgot anything. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2902 Don't forget our deal...I do your wall, you get me one of those fire things for my cave. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2903 This IS your skinnier side! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2904 Great moments in paleophthalmology: The first eye chart. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2905 Keep still, we're making pre-history. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2906 How about a little smile? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2907 Don't complain about my drawing! Even Rousseau had to start someplace. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2908 Okay, take a break, but don't go off and get extinct. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2909 Laws protecting your likeness haven't been invented yet. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2910 Well then, what would you like to be called? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2911 Chin down, no no no too much. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2912 When I said I did "mammoth portraits," I wasn't referring to the size. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2913 TRY CROSSING YOUR LEGS! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2914 Let me see that smile again 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2915 So, uh... which way do you swing? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2916 Try looking a little animated for a change! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2917 I'm doing the best I can! You think anyone's ever going to see this? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2918 This is how the baby would look in an ultrasound. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2919 Maybe it's not a perfect likeness, but in a million years it's going to be the talk of the town. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2920 When you were only this big, I could clean up after you… 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2921 Who’s the artist here? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2922 Stop complaining. It doesn't have to be a good likeness if it captures your spirit. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2923 Don't fidget! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2924 It’s not you! Cave painting always adds fifteen pounds. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
2925 Can you please turn sideways again? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2926 Has anyone ever told you you have the most exquisite cheekbones? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2927 do you want me to rub out the wrinkles? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2928 Not impressed? I anticipating that cave art will hold its value. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2929 Don’t worry about it! Everyone knows the cave fire adds 10 lbs. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2930 Can you just hold still for another minute? I want my wife to know what ate me. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2931 Look, the GOP is what it is. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2932 That pose, only bigger! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2933 Ancient Times. 30,000 BS (Before Selfie) 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2934 I don't care what other artist and their models get up to, I'm not that kind of guy. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2935 I'm immortalizing you, but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for your species. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2936 I can draw the tusks as short as I want. It's called "artistic license." 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2937 With or without wrinkles? 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
2938 Whaddya mean, you think I made your trunk too short? I didn’t get this kinda crap from the donkey! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2939 No, I don't think you look fat. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2940 Try looking more like a wild animal and less like a cave pet facing extinction. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
2941 I'd rather be ignored. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2942 StopStaringatMe 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2943 Just a little bit longer, Mr. President. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2944 Work it Margeaux, sexy...SEXY! Now ANGRY... Oh wait... 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2945 You'll gain a much better perspective during Renaissance, trust me. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2946 Why can't you stand still? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2947 It's my wall and I'll paint what I want. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2948 Don't worry, we can clean up those wrinkles in post. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2949 You like it, Masta Don? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2950 You always look younger in pictures 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2951 Okay, next, did you see whether the perp's tusks were straight or curved. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2952 You knew I was a Fauvist when you agreed to pose. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2953 we haven't invented mirrors yet, this is what you look like. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2954 No you can't. Cave carvings come later. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2955 Hold that smile and turn slightly to the left. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2956 I think I’m really entering my Pleistocene Period. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2957 Not to worry! I’ll note the scale as 1:1000. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2958 Ceci n'est pas un mammouth. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2959 What do you mean "woollier"? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2960 I'll name you Elephant. Hopefully the name sticks. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2961 Stop whining! You mastodons are a dime a dozen! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2962 Hey--you're a model. Models don't tell painters how to paint! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2963 Stand proud, some day your ancestors will be the symbol for the Republican Party. 1.2278 0.06483 79 67 6 6
2964 Hey - trunks are really hard to draw! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2965 The artist’s use of tar proved to be an eerie foreshadowing of his subject’s fate. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2966 Would you stop moving! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2967 Ok, I'll make your ears smaller. But I insist on the lush green foliage for the background. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2968 Really? And just who do you think will care that you're naked? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2969 Sorry but elephants are strictly yesterday. Minimal is hot now. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2970 Can you do another one? I think I blinked. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2971 I thought this was your best side? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2972 It’s my truth. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2973 What do you mean "sign a release"? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2974 She's just a friend... and stop going through my cave paintings. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2975 If that’s what I look like, I may as well not exist... 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
2976 You're a much better subject than my last one. I couldn't get the hyena to shut up. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2977 I'm tellin' ya, lose the tusks for your own good. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2978 NO, not even former Presidents get to negotiate ears! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2979 No I won't give it wings. What do you thing this is, fake views? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2980 Sorry about the nose. I paint what I see. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
2981 Tilt your chin a little to the right. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2982 Someday, they will call my work “Impressionism.” 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2983 3000 B.C and I’m still drawing on a cave... 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2984 Can you hold that enigmatic smile? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2985 It's not a selfie unless you're holding the brush. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2986 Think you can do any better? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2987 But a life-size painting would be just mammoth 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2988 This drawing will be on the milk cartons delivered to all the caves. Don't worry. We will find her soon. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2989 Sorry, this light makes your ass look big. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2990 You call that full length? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2991 No, honestly, you don't have a bad side. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2992 Try not to look so Babaric. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2993 'Say cheese' doesn't happen for another 35,000 years. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2994 Give it time, it'll grow on you. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2995 You’re only Old Stone Age if you think of yourself as Old Stone Age. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2996 It doesn't look anything like you because it's NOT you! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2997 It know it’s a bit meta, but I’m working on my caption contest entry. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2998 Look...you're gonna' have to stay still. I haven't invented an eraser yet. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2999 Stop kvetching, I'm almost finished 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3000 The only time I feel alive is when I’m painting. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3001 Don't worry, I'll paint a pebble for scale. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3002 If you can’t stand still, it’ll be blurry. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3003 Smile, please. That's it. Now hold it! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3004 No , I can't get you a copy. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3005 C'mon. give us a little smile. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3006 Don't move. I'm almost done. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3007 You don't have a 'good' side! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3008 I'm blogging about how you cornered me in here. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3009 Hold it right there. I want to convey that vulnerability. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3010 Stop complaining! Strict representationalism is so paleolithic. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3011 No, you're not fat in real life. People say the cave adds a few hundred pounds. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3012 Are my ears to scale? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3013 I'll bet those guys in Lascaux never thought of this! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3014 What? The charcoal adds twenty pounds. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3015 I know you guys are bigger than this, but I'm tired. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3016 OK it's slow and no props- so go find another photo booth. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3017 You and your "too subjective"! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3018 You're only as big as you're seen. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3019 The cave adds 10 lbs 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3020 Give me your best 17,000 years from now look. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3021 This is you when you were just a wee baby. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3022 I think I captured your sweet disposition. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3023 You know, the other tourists just took a few photos. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3024 Does this jog your memory? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3025 But this IS how I painted the French girls. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
3026 No, you cannot choose your color. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3027 And I'm telling you, this will outlive us both! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3028 Don't worry, I have Photoshop. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3029 Oh relax, the cave adds a thousand pounds. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3030 So what are you doing later? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3031 It's not supposed to look like you. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3032 You're fine - everyone knows the cave adds ten pounds. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3033 No, I married you for you sense of humor! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3034 We can make the trunk smaller and deal with those wrinkly ankles in post-etching. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3035 It's a younger picture of you in your pre-ivory days. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3036 Let's hurry this up. I've got a donkey coming in at 1:00. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3037 Yeah....., well you're no Kate Moss yourself. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3038 I'm almost done, but you can't leave. I hear those Trump kids are still here. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3039 You're not the GOP, you're just the Elephant in the room 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3040 Look, when you learn to draw you can put me in any pose you want. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3041 Well excuuuuuse me, this is the best I can do with charcoal and fire. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3042 Consider this drawing a hedge against extinction. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3043 Do you want me to make you look thinner? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3044 Give me a break! It's not a photograph! It's a prehistoric cave painting! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3045 C'mon. Give me a smile. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3046 Wait until I finish this painting before you and your girlfriend trot over to Noah's place. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
3047 You shouldn't have shaved. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3048 I’m waiting for the light to be just right! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3049 Sorry, there is no "good side" with this prehistoric lighting. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3050 Don't worry, the pick and hammer add ten pounds. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3051 I'd like to get your best side. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3052 You pay peanuts, you get primitive. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3053 Image will be everything, especially after you go extinct. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3054 It's called, "Elephants Playing Poker." I need six more models. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3055 You know what they say, the cave wall adds 10 pounds. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3056 Do you want me to make it look bigger? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
3057 Good. Now can you show me "fierce?" 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3058 I can't swipe right. It's a _cave_ drawing. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3059 If I made your nose smaller it wouldn't be you! 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3060 Alright I promise. No stick figures and spears this time! 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
3061 Can you move a little to the right, and maybe hold up one foot? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3062 Just because you were a Lascaux model doesn’t make you an expert on which is your good side! 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
3063 OK, you'll have to give us more time if you want a Picasso. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
3064 So.... Is that supposed to be a smile? 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
3065 No, I don't think you look fat. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3066 Can you show a little less tusk when you smile? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3067 The light makes you look fat because you ARE fat! 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3068 You moved! Trunk up! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3069 If you can hold it for just another five minutes, believe me, you will be immortal. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3070 Get over it Sourpuss. Haven't you ever heard of artistic license? 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3071 I can add “not draw to scale.” 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
3072 Your dad should have explained this to you, but that's what you get living in a matriarchy. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3073 Sorry, shading and texture aren't invented yet. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3074 Can you turn to your left, please? We haven't invented perspective yet. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3075 One more move and I'll replace you with an antelope. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3076 Try stampeding! Anthropologist like action! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3077 It's the elephant in the room. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3078 Oh, I love it - you're really capturing the essence of who I am. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3079 Well, if you'd come over here I coould trace you and get it right. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3080 Can I have a bit more facing-extinction pathos? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3081 $20 only covers you, drawing your family will cost more 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3082 We may be ahead of our time, darling, but voluptuous models will be all the rage by the mid-1600s. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3083 I just want to show that you were really in the cave with me. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3084 It's that way because I'm the artist and I see you nude. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3085 And then I’m going to have anyone who sees it submit their own caption! 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3086 Lifting your trunk makes it more of an action shot. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3087 If you don't quit moving, your going to look 500 pounds heavier. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3088 Yes, I realize they're bigger--this is called artistic license. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3089 No, your not fat! The cave wall adds about 10 pounds. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3090 Could you turn sideways again? We haven't invented perspective yet. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3091 I can never keep up! Do I swipe left or right if you like her? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3092 You are my study in brown. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3093 You're the sixth applicant for the proverbial 'elephant in the room'. The last one wasn't big enough. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3094 I didn't draw your nose too long. It looks fine 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3095 Could you turn a bit to the left, please? 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3096 I thought that WAS your good side. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3097 If you don't want to stand there all day, stop dropping your trunk . 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3098 Can you quit farting? It's breaking my concentration. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3099 no expression, please. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3100 Can you hang around? I want to make an ivory sculpture next. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3101 Wait until it dry's, it will look more like you then 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3102 It’s not the light! I only have one shade of grey! 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3103 You are not allowed to smile for the passport picture 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3104 No, the cave wall does NOT add ten pounds! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3105 Be patient...I'm trying to capture your inner self...... Someday you'll be famous... 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3106 This cave art will prove evolution is not irrelephant to future generations. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3107 Come on now, show me those big brown eyes. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3108 I swear, it’s not a grocery list. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3109 On my diet plan, you can look like this in 30 days!! 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3110 How do you spell YUGE? 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3111 "Yeah, her trunk's a little crooked, but I really think you're going to have just get out there at some point if you really want to meet someone...". 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3112 Turn sideways...I only do profiles. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3113 Let's see that mysterious smile. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3114 Ok which way do you want it? Up or down? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
3115 I know you're a mastodon. I couldn't afford the elephant. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3116 Of course you look fat. They haven't invented perspective yet. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3117 After your trunk-tuck, I recommend fixing those buckteeth before dating again. 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
3118 Hold still, Dorian. I want to capture your youthful beauty. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
3119 Of course clothes off. It’s art. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
3120 How’s this for your profile pic? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
3121 Her name is Elsa. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3122 Hold still! Man just learned to do this. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
3123 Ok now you do me 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3124 "Quit smiling", this is serious. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3125 No, I'm not going to make you look like a woolly mammoth. 1.2208 0.06303 77 65 7 5
3126 Stop evolving! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3127 Is this your first time posing nude? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3128 Talk about working for peanuts, try being an artist in this day and age. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3129 Your trunk was up in yesterday's pose. Don't you remember? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3130 Get over it! In 30 or 40,000 years no one will be wearing long tusks. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3131 Whaddaya mean, the color's not right? Nobody's gonna care 10,000 years from now. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3132 'Oh come ON! You drew a CIRCLE and I correctly guessed it was a rock...THIS IS SO EASY!' 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3133 You're right, I should have taken those art classes. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3134 Are you almost finished? I couldn't hold my trunk up any longer. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3135 Draw my hands extra large 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3136 To be realistic it should droop, don't your think? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3137 Yes it DOES look like you. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3138 Swipe left? Really? 1.2208 0.06568 77 66 5 6
3139 OK, OK, I'll draw you next. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3140 I'm not paying for that 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3141 You don't have to be Mona Lisa to put on a smile on your face, okay? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3142 I don't care what you say, I not removing any more wrinkles! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3143 His ears were bigger? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3144 Don't worry...I won't make you look prehistoric 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3145 Now say, AAARRRRHHHH!!!! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3146 I'm done with animals. I think I'm going to start a hands period. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3147 what hashtag would you like me to use? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3148 Basically, the new Pennsylvania congressional map will look like this. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3149 A little less tooth in the smile please. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3150 Some of your cousins have big beautiful ears, I'll do my best with what you've got. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3151 It's not my fault. You moved. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3152 Hey, it's not my fault your nose looks big! 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3153 Don't give me that "elephants never forget" bullshit, I've told you 10 TIMES not to look until I'm finished. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3154 OK, OK, I'll make your nose smaller. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3155 It's not a midget elephant! It's a small elephant. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3156 I don't care if you have to go to the bathroom. 1.2208 0.06568 77 66 5 6
3157 Look fierce, I am trying to paint us engaged in mortal combat. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
3158 Can you paint me 10lbs lighter? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3159 If you want a "subtle rosy glow" I'll need something other than paint made from blood, clay and urine. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3160 Don't sulk. It's called artistic license. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3161 Picture worth ten words, ugh 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3162 Do you have a caption? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3163 I took some liberties with your trunk on your behalf. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3164 Draw me like one of your elephant girls. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3165 Don’t quit on me now. We have 500 more caves to go and you’re the only thing I can draw. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3166 I need your trunk back up. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3167 You know, I was young myself once. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3168 Hmmm. A little nip. A little tusk. And I'll launch the theory of evolution. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3169 Hold still a little longer, before we lose the light. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3170 Just enjoy the fire and hold still, or I'll send you back out into the Ice Age. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3171 Do I have to chisel it again or are you going to remember? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3172 I know you're tired, but if you don't keep your trunk up you'll ruin this pictograph. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3173 I'm an artist. I'm not going to paint you to look thinner. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3174 Quit complaining! Size does not matter. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3175 A little to the left... 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3176 You can only be immortal if you hold the pose. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3177 Okay...you are here, and home is here. If you get lost, just follow the other elephants! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3178 So, should we take some artistic license with the nose? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3179 If you're lucky, maybe someday Mick Stevens will put you in a 'New Yorker' cartoon. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3180 Could you turn your tusks just a little to the left. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3181 Oh, NOW you want your tusks bigger? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3182 I told you a hundred times, I already made the other one blue. So, just go hold still. Besides...thousands of years from now is anyone really going to care about color? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3183 Yeah, I know. The Rhino said he was too small, too! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3184 Nobody likes a critic. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3185 See, by making you smaller, it makes you look like you're farther away. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3186 Stand still, you only have a few thousand years left. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3187 Hold still! I have to finish this before you go extinct 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3188 The wall does NOT add 100 pounds! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3189 You want me to start again....what do you mean this is your bad side. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3190 What did you expect? You're paying me peanuts! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3191 Relax, I add the spears later. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3192 Trust me, you'll be famous in 2018! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3193 Could you raise your trunk and try to smile? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3194 So let's call it a draw then. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3195 Early National Geographic Photojournalist. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3196 So now, everybody's a critic. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3197 Yeah, safe to say Picasso didn’t live in a cave. At least give me tusks. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3198 No, your butt doesn't look big in this drawing! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3199 Try and hold that enigmatic smile. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
3200 No, it doesn’t make you look like you have too much junk in your trunk! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3201 I know the limbs aren't long enough, but who's gonna be around to make that judgement. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3202 Hey, it's not bad for never having taken an art class. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3203 Ok, for this I'll photoshop them out, but you're still need to see an Orthodontist..... 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3204 Yes, I've captured your good side. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3205 No, I won't forget your splendid tusks! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3206 I can't capture your essence if you keep swinging your trunk. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3207 This drawing will be enormous, no gigantic, no colossal...hmmm, no MAMMOTH! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3208 No, I will not exaggerate your trunk size. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3209 No, I will not make your nose "more perky". 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3210 A little more to the left. Yes. Yes. That's good. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3211 Tusks? Don't worry. I can Photoshop those in later. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3212 Of course it's smaller than you. I'm an impressionist not a realist. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3213 How am I supposed to draw you if you keep evolving? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3214 If you don't like it, you draw it. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3215 The Physical Impossibilty of Death in the Mind of Someone Living 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3216 Don't move, Mona Lisa. I need this to be realistic-looking. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3217 That's right. Sell it! Great. I've got your best side. Oooooo, nice. OK! Now, who's the biggest star? Yes. Give me the look. That's IT!!!! Beautiful. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
3218 Picasso's paleolithic-period 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3219 This baby is gonna go right through the roof when you go extinct. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
3220 What do you mean “further to the right?” 1.2192 0.07100 73 64 2 7
3221 I thought without the horns you looked less menacing! 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3222 Fine, fine, I admit it -- both my brush and this paint were made from your brother. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3223 The talent agent tells me it's your first nude gig. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3224 And I'm not going any higher for the life-story rights! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3225 Say, trees. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3226 There, the world's first documented idiom. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3227 Rock the art world? Not in a million years. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3228 You have to use the bathroom again? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3229 Settle down. This is a baby picture. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3230 Well excuuuse me for not going to art school. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3231 In future, you be great emblem of party of cavemen. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3232 I don't care if you're feeling happy, stop smiling! 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3233 Look dignified. And remember, this is for posterity. 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3234 Do you want me to spear you before or after I paint it on the wall? 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3235 Relax, I am just trying to warn burglars! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3236 Gesundheit! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3237 I'm going to make you famous, damn it! Can't you hold that trunk up for another ten lousy minutes? 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3238 Be patient, Babar, my work will evolve. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3239 I guess this where the "elephant in the room" comes from 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3240 Yeah, well, it might look like a pig to you, but in 20,000 years primitive art will be considered nonpareil. 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3241 Ok, now a funny one. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3242 No, muses don't take breaks for mud baths! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3243 Can you please try to show a little less tooth? 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
3244 Now remember, this isn't to scale. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3245 Stay still! I need the fire to stay warm! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
3246 I captured your good tusk. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3247 Could you turn to the side? We won’t figure out foreshortening ‘til the Renaissance. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3248 I'm calling this GOP (Grumpy Old Pachyderm) 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3249 You want it to "scale," you have to pay "scale." 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3250 Everyone's a critic. Just you wait, this'll make me famous one day. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3251 This is not White House, you must be lost. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3252 I am NOT making your nose look big. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3253 I always have trouble painting tusks. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3254 Listen, the horns make you look mean and almost prehistoric; this is much more friendly and cute. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3255 ALL of us artists work for peanuts, when I am paid then you will get your share! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3256 You think the nose should be bigger? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3257 I told you before we started that this sitting would require some nudity. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3258 You call that pouty? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3259 Now I'll put happy little trees right here. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3260 ‘I’m thinking of calling it Primitive art’ 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3261 It's my take on the elephant in the room. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3262 It's a wallfie. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3263 Ars longa, vita brevis. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3264 I'm a manimalist." 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3265 Just forget about the red I used in last portrait! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3266 Excuse me? The lighting is great and I am capturing your best side. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3267 It's called: "After the Midterms." 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3268 I just invented rebranding. Try to act cute. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3269 There are no mistakes, only happy accidents. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3270 Be patient, Tina. I’m capturing your essence. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3271 Just keep in mind, size isn't everything. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3272 And you're no Mona Lisa. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3273 Then everyone will want a break. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3274 Yes, I am drawing your better side. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3275 I know it's not life size and that your trunk looks short and is usually down, but that's what Impressionism is all about. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3276 Oh, you didn't tell me you wanted to take this home to your place. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3277 The wrong way to address the elephant in the room. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3278 Nudes can be very tiring so I really appreciate your patience. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3279 You need to allow me some artistic freedom! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3280 It's not primitive, Manny, it's art! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3281 I've been posting signs all over the neighborhood about my lost elephant. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3282 Stop smiling 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3283 Try not to evolve, please. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3284 Hold still now- this is for posterity 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3285 Here is where I draw you NOT eating me. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3286 Don't start tootin' back at me!!!!! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3287 It's not supposed to look like you. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3288 Now you can stop complaining about not getting enough attention 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3289 Oh, hush. If anything, I've made you look thinner! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3290 And you said he had two what, tusks? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3291 No. E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T. Not mammoth. Elephant. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3292 What do you mean “wheel”? You keep guessing that! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3293 You are not a duck, stop with the lips. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3294 "You're my first nude". 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3295 But I AM drawing you like one of my french girls! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3296 See what's going to happen to your tusks when you befriend those poachers! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3297 It’s a series I’m calling ‘Zog Paint then Zog Eat.’ 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3298 Truthfully, what I'd really like to do is direct." 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3299 Now, if you could just make that smile a bit more enigmatic, please. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3300 PLEASE DON'T MOVE. YOU'RE THE ELEPHANT IN THE CAVE. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3301 My style is post-prehistoricism 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3302 Enough with the critique! I'm still evolving as an artist. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3303 Now, say we put the x+2y over the 5y-3x... 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3304 Quit your snorting. This is the art form of the future. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3305 This will memorialize your species forever as 'Man's Best Friend.' 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3306 And that’s when Gerald realized...he was dating and elephant. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3307 After this painting my starving artist days are over. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3308 You look much better without your tusks. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3309 I'm not getting my security deposit back, am I? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3310 What do you mean that if I let the fire go out they will get bigger? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3311 Because it IS that wide. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3312 I'm concerned that someone will invent ivory poaching. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3313 As your dentist, this is what I recommend. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3314 Now give me a funny caption. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3315 ‘I know your Groupon say “boudoir session” but me told you I no have mammoth panties!’ 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3316 No animals were harmed in the making of this picture. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3317 You're right, the firelight highlights the twinkle in your eye. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3318 Think about chocolate. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3319 You get a mammoth painting when you pay the mammoth fee. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3320 Whaddaya mean, "The nose ain't right? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3321 The wall puts on ten pounds. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3322 Lifesize? No, its too much work. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3323 Down the hall to the right. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3324 The first step is to produce a reality TV show, then run for President. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3325 That's it! You got it! your beautiful! I love it!! Show me extinct!!! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3326 Hey, don't be upset...cave paintings make everyone look 10 lbs heavier! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3327 No one will ever see, I promise. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3328 Someday you'll be the talk of Lascaux. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3329 I suppose you could do better? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3330 Everyone seems to be avoiding drawing about the elephant in the cave. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3331 Everybody knows the cave wall adds a 100 pounds... 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3332 Do you really expect me to spell stegotetrabelodon? How about we use "elephant" instead? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3333 Get some more wood on that fire, for God's sake! I'm losing the light. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3334 I just thought the long trunk made you look fat. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3335 I'll try, but the brush adds about a thousand years. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3336 Wake up! This is an ad for fire. Can't you look a bit more frightened? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3337 Just freeze for a second. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3338 Don’t be so sensitive. No one is gonna see my scribbles. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3339 Oh for pete's sake, keep your trunk up. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3340 I am NOT trying to seduce you! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3341 I'll draw your damned tusks when I'm good and ready! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3342 Of course it doesn't look just like you-this is modern art! 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3343 Once we trim those unfortunate teeth, we get this sleek, urban profile. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3344 I know, I know. But keep in mind it's Impressionistic. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3345 Oh yeah? Maybe YOU look like a warthog. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3346 Hold still. I'm creating the proverbial elephant in the room. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3347 This will have to do until someone invents digital cameras 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3348 Don't move a tusk. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3349 Sorry but my art is certified ivory-free. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3350 What? Your butt is still too big? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3351 You look fine...I told you the charcoal always adds ten pounds. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3352 I give up. This has been a mammoth waste of time. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3353 Be aware the wall adds ten pounds. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3354 Look, you have to perk up. So forget about her, OK? Just forget about her! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3355 Will you at least let me finish before you swipe left? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3356 No, it is NOT making your butt look fat. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3357 What a week--first Michelle and Barack and now you! 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3358 Relax! After I'm done no-one will ever forget about the elephant in the room. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3359 This is just a prototype until we complete our BC funding round. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3360 I'm hoping it goes viral. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3361 Lest they forget. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3362 Yes you look hot! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3363 Biproboscidian? Tusk, tusk. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3364 Okay, good, hold that pose - yes - now make the smile just a little more enigmatic, and I think we could have something for the ages 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3365 No, you can’t leave. I paid the agency for the whole day. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3366 Make up your mind, Mona. Are you smiling or not? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3367 You'll see. The wave of the future is miniaturization. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3368 Say Australopithecine and smile. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3369 Fine, but this is the last damn time I'm painting you with 'duck face'. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3370 Trust me. In two-million years, short tusks will be all the rage. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3371 Now remember where I drew this, please! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3372 C'mon, realism is still ahead of us. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3373 Hold still I just need to add the horns 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3374 No, it's not just a generic mastodon, it's you! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3375 You'll look much younger in 10,000 years 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3376 I told that agency that I wanted a mastodon! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3377 In a few million years this might be worth a fortune. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3378 I call it 'Why is there an elephant in my cave?' 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3379 She just left 5 minutes ago. If you hurry, you'll catch her. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3380 Do you want her to wear pearls? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3381 Yes, you're my model but not my muse, yet. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3382 Of course, keep in mind that in this light colors appear more subdued 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3383 You think you can do better? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3384 I know this is taking a long time. I want to get this right before you are extinct. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3385 Hold still. I need to get this done before you go extinct. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3386 I prefer my right side. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3387 Can you smile more enigmatically? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3388 More profile, please. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3389 What? Humanity won't appreciate my art until after I'm dead? 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3390 Give me a big, tusky grin. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3391 No, I did not make you look fat. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3392 NOTE: this isn't a caption. What happened to the cartoon from this week? The one with the hiker at the mountaintop cafe? It's 11:50pm and it's gone. Don't we have until midnight to submit? 1.2162 0.07009 74 65 2 7
3393 No, I will not compromise my artistic integrity. The fat and wrinkles stay. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
3394 Stop smiling, you're supposed to look like you're running for your life! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3395 I already photoshopped enough for you to attract a bull. I shrunk your schnoz and tusks, and knocked off around 300 pounds. If I change any more, you will look like a horse. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3396 My next invention is fake news. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3397 Hold still or 10,000 years from now they'll think you're a space alien. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3398 Don't be such a primastadonna; no one is going to care if you look fat! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3399 Experts say you will potentially evolve into this creature. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3400 Try to look more like an extinct mammoth, and I'll add some mastodon overtones. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3401 So I've added the pointy trunk. Were there any other unique characteristics the mugger had that you remember? 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
3402 "Keep it up with the snarky comments and they'll find you in the permafrost, some day"! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3403 Which side IS your good side? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3404 Forgive me, I am bit nervous. I have never done a nude before. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3405 Think of it as a measure of immortality long after we're extinct. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3406 If you’re so good why don’t you draw it? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3407 This is for posterity so try to look sincere! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3408 Don't worry, they'll be tasteful. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3409 Someday National Geographic will thank us. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3410 Don’t fall asleep again. We going for wild, mean and scary. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3411 I know, I know, but the brush adds on ten pounds. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3412 Where did you get those mammoth tusks? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3413 His patron was a harsh critic. Moments later Thak was trampled to death. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3414 You'll be remembered for eternity. Now, hold still! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3415 they say a wall subtracts 1000 pounds 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3416 You can put your robe back on. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3417 What are you trumpeting about, I did capture your good side. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3418 Don't you remember? I told you I'm in my minimalism phase. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3419 Consider, too, that a cave drawing will add ten pounds to your apparent weight. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3420 No, I am not making you look fat! Don't be such a masto-donna. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3421 And then what happened...? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3422 You don't look anything like your profile pic! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3423 Crude is my aesthetic. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3424 Was the mugger wearing a hoodie? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3425 What do you mean that’s not your good side?! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3426 No No 'paint night' is tomorrow 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3427 Don't look at me like that... the chisel adds 10 pounds! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3428 No...It hasn't been done before. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3429 These days, portrait art pays peanuts. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3430 Look, you're in the room but I don't want to talk about it. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3431 It’s not my fault! I told you the wall adds 1500 pounds. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3432 Typical guy--I think I drew it quite long enough. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3433 I already said, “ hold still can’t you remember?” 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3434 Look, I'm running out of charcoal as it is. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3435 Smile ! You'll be the elephant in the cave nobody wants to talk about..... 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
3436 You moved. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3437 She never mentioned she was married. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3438 What do you mean, “It makes me look fat”? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3439 It's a carnicature - it's supposed to be grotesque. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3440 A hundred years from now, will anyone care about art? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3441 You can be as mammoth as you like, but I work on a small scale. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3442 How the elephant in the room started. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3443 Sorry, I forgot to tell you. Cave walls add ten pounds. 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
3444 OK, now you can move. 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
3445 Thumbs do too make a difference! 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3446 This will make it look like you are farther away and much younger. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3447 It looks EXACTLY like you. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3448 What? You shot a human in your pajamas last night? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3449 So, here's the deal. Today you're mammoth, but one day you're going to be huuuuge. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3450 No, if I put wings on you it's going to freak people out. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3451 It's caricature. Your nose is supposed to look bigger. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3452 Posting pictures of what's for dinner on Cavewall is so cool. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3453 No worries, I'll airbrush the wrinkles 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3454 Because I'm not good at tusks. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3455 Yes, I realize the detail work on the tusks is not up to your standards. *You* try drawing with this stick, damn it! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3456 This is religious art; quit being a critic. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3457 I forget where we left off...you? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3458 Trust me, your rump is mammoth---wooly, too. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
3459 “Take your time” is just a figure of speech. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
3460 It’s done when I say it’s done. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3461 Don't worry, they say the mural adds 10 pounds. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3462 Of course this doesn't look like you. I'm a surrealist. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3463 I see you're ready for your close up. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3464 Sorry. We're not doing portraits for another 38,000 years. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
3465 Tilt your head a 45% angle to the right. Oh good and a little extra light from the fire. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
3466 Smile, this one's for posterity. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3467 Now, tilt your head to the right a little and tuck your chin slightly. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3468 "I call it Cave Graphic Imaging, or just CGI for short". 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3469 I know it's really bad, but it will fetch a stellar price at auction once you go extinct. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3470 You moved again! Now I have to start all over. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3471 No, the cave lighting doesn’t make you look fat. 1.2133 0.06379 75 64 6 5
3472 don't worry, it's not drawn to scale 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3473 Now pose! Yes! Just like that! 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3474 Done with shortening your trunk! Now, how would you like to shape your tusks? 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
3475 Sorry, you blinked! 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
3476 I promise it's not tonight's menu 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3477 Draw me like one of those Pliocene girls 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3478 I promise you that selfies are going to be a thing. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3479 You would be extinct before I could finish a lifesize picture. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3480 I'm doing my best. But the cave adds 20,000 pounds. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3481 Girl, you thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3482 I don’t know why you are so upset, everyone parietalshops their models these days. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3483 Draw me like one of your Lascaux Cave girls 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3484 I’m recording our love, beautiful companion! 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
3485 You'll never forget this. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3486 My question was addressed to Alexa, not you. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3487 What do you mean - 'Draw me like one of your French girls'? 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3488 If you want to be famous, hold still for just a few more minutes! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3489 Did you always have that mole? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3490 I'm the Mammoth Lisa 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3491 Who's the inventor of a medium here? The ears are FINE. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3492 Keep holding that pose,we're doing great! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3493 All my models get the same flat rate. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3494 If I make your nose any smaller, they won’t be able to tell it’s you! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3495 Tsk, tsk! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3496 I won't make you look fat. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3497 Don't blame me - everyone knows the cave puts on 10 pounds! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3498 The morning light captures your playful side. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3499 No, I can’t make you look fearsome 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3500 They say the cave wall adds 10lbs. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3501 Forget natural light. We’re making history here! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3502 No you don't look fat in that light! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3503 Okay,show me that enigmatic smile again. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3504 It's not your fault, the agency promised me a mammoth. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3505 You’re not evolved enough to appreciate that I’ve captured your essence. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3506 It'll look like you're flying when I'm done! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3507 It's the best I can do until someone invents the mirror. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3508 I said "posterity" not posteriority. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3509 The Mono Lithic 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3510 I fired My Agent! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3511 I*m getting it, Sharon! Just keep your lower lip curled! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3512 OK Mona, take a break. I know your trunk gets heavy, but you must hold it up so I can capture that sweet little smile. I'm sure it won't be duplicated..... not in a million years! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3513 Well…you actually look better without the tusks 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3514 No, I'm not going to paint you like a French girl. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3515 No tusks; too authoritarian. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3516 Photoshop BC: "It looks exactly like you, but I did touch-up the wrinkles with the healing chisel." 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3517 You don't look fat but the stone always adds 10 pounds 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3518 I told you. Peanuts- pose, peanuts- pose. Now stand still. At this rate we will be post historic. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3519 Portrait work pays the bills, but my true passion is for hand stencils. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3520 Remember, I still need to add perspective and it’s you as a much-younger mastodon. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3521 Last week I had a T-Rex in here who was a real talker. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3522 Its called art. And if you don't shut up, turn left, and hold still, I will NEVER get this finished. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3523 For your information, I was Neolithically trained. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3524 I know you're facing extinction, so the fidgeting is not helping either of us. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3525 The donkey tells me you are best friends. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3526 she must take after her mother. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3527 You would rather have a selfie? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3528 Paleo Sex Ed 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3529 What's with the haircut? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3530 You're trouble is you don't appreciate modern art! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3531 Now will you stop with the selfies? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3532 Trunk up! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3533 Surely she’s not a real looker, but wait until I add the pink tutu. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3534 " I have to leave room for your kids ". 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3535 If you had a mirror, this is what you would see... honestly! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3536 Either you stand still or I will bring out the mice. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3537 Did I say you could look? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3538 Why'd you put your trunk down? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3539 I guess you were right... your memory is much better than mine 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3540 No, I will not paint you 'like one of my French mammoths'. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3541 Ugh. The other cave artists made it look so easy. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3542 Stop complaining. I wish wallpaper existed too. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3543 No marshmellow roast till your portrait is finished! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3544 Keep that trunk up please! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3545 Do that thing where you curl your tusks like a mammoth. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3546 What - you need a bathroom break? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3547 Hey, you forgot the marshmallows! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3548 Do you think in a couple hundred thousand years they’ll know it’s scale drawing. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3549 Could you tilt your trunk and smile without showing your teeth? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3550 You'll be immortalized, yet extinct. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3551 Stand still! You know I'm paying you a lot of peanuts to pose! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3552 Gotta do it this way. No one will believe you were that big. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3553 What do you expect? I also work for peanuts! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3554 Alright already....but who invented fire!? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3555 Fun Fact: Leonardo Da Vinci's earliest known ancestor created "The Beautiful Whispering Wind of the Mammuthus Primigenius". After all these years, we finally discovered his inspiration. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3556 Don't move: the fire creates the perfect dramatic lighting and highlights your sharp, aggressive tusks. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3557 Stop messing with me and keep your proboscis up. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3558 So you do think my tusks are small... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3559 I believe my work will be 'discovered' long after we're both extinct. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3560 Is it "Hannibal I Domum" or "Hannibal Ite Domus"? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3561 This isn't a room it's a cave!!!! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3562 Why on earth did you think it would be drawn to scale? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3563 No offense, but you DO look a little like a warthog. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3564 I am almost finished, oh by the way, T Rex is right behind you and I don't think he is waiting for a protrait. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3565 I wouldn’t hold your breath. Retake day isn’t until the Cenozoic era. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3566 Work with me here , and we'll get out of here before we are extinct. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3567 I don't think it makes you look fat 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3568 Please try that enigmatic smile again. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3569 What do you mean that's not how you remember it? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3570 Okay, I'll make you less woolly and less mammoth. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3571 How many likes do you think this one will get me? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3572 I know, I know — The nose isn’t quite right... 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3573 Don’t worry about the shading. I’ll fix it in post. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3574 We could go down in Pre-History if you would just give me that little Mona Mammoth smile. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3575 Turn a little to the left and hold that pose. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3576 All right, all right, maybe it's not the best likeness. I just don't remember what she looks like as well as you do. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3577 Okay, so I need glasses!!! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3578 Your descendants will develop and lose a fortune in ivory. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3579 It's not supposed to look like you. It's my artistic interpretation of you. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3580 You're not being paid peanuts to hold down your trunk! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3581 Sorry, caricatures are the next cave over. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3582 Left Tusked? Hey, I’m left handed! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3583 Remember this, the minute someone invents canvas we're outta here. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3584 I hope you appreciate that that means you'll be immortalized probably until next rain season. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3585 Smile for the cave drawing. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3586 OK, smarty, you try drawing a profile! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3587 No, I don't think the wall makes you look fat!" 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3588 Sorry, but the wall always adds a few pounds. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3589 Listen, you pay peanuts, you get Neanderthal Man. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3590 Republican Convention...post-Trump. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3591 They say the wall adds ten pounds. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3592 Please stay frozen. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3593 OK, ok, I thought you liked being paid peanuts! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3594 Oh, so everyone's a critic now, hunh? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3595 I asked for smaller ears and less gray. And I got no ears, no gray, one horn... I guess it's okay for a cave painting. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3596 I'm going to call it 'Before the Hunt.' 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3597 Maybe in fifty thousand years, people will finally acknowledge the elephant in the cave. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3598 How will they know that we were friends? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3599 Like we agreed, I took a ton off and you say I invented fire. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3600 I'm sorry, but in this era, aggressive tusks are just not acceptable. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3601 When I invent the piano, you're in trouble! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3602 The fire light hits your trunk in a quite flattering manner. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3603 One more snide comment and I'll add stink lines. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3604 Look, your fellow Mastodons who were slaughtered are in my thoughts and prayers! But it's too early to politicize that tragedy by talking about spear control! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3605 If we do a nip here, the left tusk should hide the tuck. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3606 The wall subtracts 1500 pounds. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3607 Could you stand sideways? Perspective won’t be invented for another ten-thousand years. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3608 i know it's taking a long time, but i've never done this before. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3609 Of course you’re bigger than this... 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3610 You want your species to be remembered, don't you? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3611 One day, all elephants will look like this ... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3612 Your tusks are indeed wonderful so I’m saving them for last. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3613 Believe me, people will only be talking about your smile 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3614 Forget pink! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3615 I've seen better. This guy is no Picasso! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3616 Don’t worry, I’ll put a filter on it 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3617 Show me your mysterious smile. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3618 That is defiantly NOT my good side! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3619 So what if it’s a little Photoshopped? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3620 Unfortunately, 3D printers haven't been invented yet so you'll need to stick around for the blind men. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3621 You're doing an excellent job, considering all you've been through...Now, what would you guess is the assailant's tusk size? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3622 ‘’Dude... you’ve missed my best feature!’ 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3623 I’m not paying until it looks less like a pig and you add my tusks. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3624 Trust me. It looks more attractive on this side. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3625 Honey- he won't stand still. Can you bring some tar? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3626 I'll have to charge you extra for the tusks" 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3627 I need you looking fierce; do you need another little blue pill? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3628 Trunk up or trunk down, make up your mind. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3629 I must warn you. My work is very post-Cretaceous. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3630 A little more to the right I'll capture your good side 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3631 What do you mean you wanted a Selfie? What kind of crazy talk is that? 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3632 Realism hurts. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3633 C'mon, work with me, baby. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3634 This will disguise your obesity better then Photoshop. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3635 Chin up! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3636 I know it's not perfect. We're still evolving. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3637 My wife's NOT gonna believe you just walked right in here. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3638 They never get my nose quite right. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3639 This is you as a baby before teething. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3640 I'll make your tusks bigger for the final painting, this is just a comp. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3641 No.I won't forget the tusks! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3642 I know nobody gets it right now, but I have a strong hunch profile paintings are going to be the next bing thing. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3643 They say the cave adds 10 pounds... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3644 Now do you remember? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3645 Sneeze, please. The ears aren't quite right. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3646 It ALWAYS makes you look a few pounds heavier 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3647 I wonder if anyone will ever see my paintings? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3648 Whaddaya mean, have I never been to Lascaux?! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3649 I want him brought in alive. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3650 ‘That’s G.O.P. —- Grand Old PACHYDERM !’ 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3651 Too early for Abstract Expressionism. I was thinking Fauvist. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3652 It will be finished when its finished! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3653 I really appreciate this, it's a whole lot easier to draw this before we kill you. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3654 NO, I'm not making your butt too big. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3655 What do you mean who are the guys with the sticks? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3656 I’ve made you younger looking. Are you happy now? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3657 Does this petroglyph make me look fat? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3658 Yeah, you're fat and I'm Cro Magnon. Nobody's gonna care. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3659 Yeah? Well maybe I don't care what you like...Irving! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3660 Don’t forget to like and inscribe... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3661 Keep in mind that the paint adds ten pounds. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3662 I've got a 1:00 portrait with saber-tooth tiger, so let's stop for today. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3663 What makes you think you can do any better with a burnt stick? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3664 Yes, I'm sure she'll like it, even if you did shave off all your hair. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3665 You stink at Pictionary. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3666 Now you're just going to be remembered as 'mammoth'. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3667 You mean--that's what the Republican party will look like? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3668 Let's see you remember how many elephants there are without a little help. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3669 It’s called artistic license you bastard. And don’t tell me you don’t remember...you son of a bitch. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3670 What do you mean it's not "anatomically" correct? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3671 Don’t worry, this will get airbrushed. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3672 Stop worrying, your tusks will be Huge in the finished picture. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3673 You know, I think you should just be grateful I'm painting you rather than eating you. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3674 If you don’t like it, I’ll just delete it. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3675 Yes, you are MUCH better looking than the donkey I painted over. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3676 Hold still. This is going to take awhile. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3677 That doesn't look like a genuine smile. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3678 Yes, I'll make the tusks bigger. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3679 OK, I’ll do it over, but I promise, you didn’t look fat in the last four! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3680 Could you just cut the smile! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3681 Now, you remember how to color it in, right? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3682 For the last time, I'm not trying to make you look fat! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3683 You like art but you have to pose sexy. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3684 Quit smirking. My memory isn't as good as yours. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3685 Stand still. This is for posterity! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3686 Don't move 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3687 Sorry. Profiles only. Full face view has yet to be invented. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3688 When I'm done you'll have the snout of a teenager! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3689 stop complaining - i'm not done. the tusks are next. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3690 The aurochs do not look more svelte. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3691 ‘Is this how want to be remembered?’ 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3692 Another word and I'll draw me hunting you with a stick again. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3693 It WILL look like you, after I mix up the white for your tusks, you'll see. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3694 You weren't so critical at the Willendorf exhibit last week. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3695 What was that? "there is no money in Art?" 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3696 Turn your head a little to the right 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3697 Don't worry, the wall adds ten pounds. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3698 Life-size is gonna cost you extra. I ain't exactly made of ink, y'know. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3699 I’m trying to show the real you- stop smiling 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3700 The cave adds 20 pounds. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3701 No, I can't add starlight or unicorns. I don't have that app. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3702 Coloring inside the lines is extra. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3703 Move again and you're dead meat. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3704 You're more butch with the trunk out. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3705 I didn't forget the tusks, smartass. I haven't painted them yet. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3706 Put it back up and hold it there. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3707 I call it impressionism, there is no wrong. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3708 That's all for today, we are losing the light. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3709 Paint your tusks bigger? I don’t know what your agent told you but THIS is cave art not cave porn. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3710 Yes, I can do ‘slimming’. But I believe ‘slender’ would be beyond artistic credulity. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3711 Try to look more angry and prehistoric. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3712 Do you need it for passport, or is it just for vanity? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3713 Can you smile enigmatically? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3714 Just how large do you want your tusks to be? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3715 No, I said Tisk, tisk, not tusk, tusk. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3716 Don't worry, I'm not making you look fat. Just wait til I run this through Photo Shop! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3717 Relax...it's an ad for Viagra! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3718 Sorry, we don't take walk-ins. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3719 Not so fast with the primitive, I’m an early realist. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3720 Get that snide smirk off your face -- who do you think you are, Mona Lisa? 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3721 Ivory goes or I do. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3722 I'm going to make them larger than they really are. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3723 How can you not remember to stand still! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3724 Listen here, Mammoth Lisa... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3725 No I will not make your ears bigger! This is a portrait, not a cartoon! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3726 All right, you got me, I'm Banksy! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3727 I'll call it Mammoth X. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3728 I'm paying you peanuts to model 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3729 Yes, I'll airbrush the pachydermatitis. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3730 Stop pouting! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3731 It ain't you, sweetheart, this boar-juice ink adds 50 pounds. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3732 I'm not doing this for peanuts, you know! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3733 Look, for the last time, I cannot afford to take you to the orthodontist. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3734 If you can't stand still, I'm going to have to go with the auroch. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3735 I know its getting cold outside but you need to hold still. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3736 I paint it like I see it. Face it, your "wool" is gone! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3737 You can call it a selfie. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3738 Are you sure I can't interest you in a portrait you can take home with you? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3739 Ever since onwall dating started I have had a steady career, the secret is to paint the trunk from the right angle. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3740 Yes, we will roast some marshmallows when we're done! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3741 I may be no Michelangelo, but you're no Dumbo, either! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3742 No, this isn't the daily special. Honestly. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3743 Everyone thinks they're an art critic! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3744 I got it. You prefer your left side. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3745 Not so many wrinkles, okay? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3746 Raise your trunk for a feng-shui pose so the cave will sell - quickly! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3747 In a few millennia, one one will even remember you had them! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3748 Don't give me that look. An artist serves the truth. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3749 I'm going to give you a little more hair, I think. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3750 Mona, I'd like you to hold that special smile of yours. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3751 O.K. Smile and move your trunk a little to the left. Hold it! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3752 How many times do I have to tell you to hold still? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3753 „No, you don‘t look fat.“ 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3754 I know you don't have any problems remembering me, but I'm doing this for both of us! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3755 They don't appreciate you until you're dead. In 50,000 years I'm going to be famous! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3756 It does NOT make your trunk look too small. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3757 Really- I need you to hold still. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3758 And you’re OK with full frontal nudity? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3759 I we made it bigger it would make you look fat. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3760 Kibitzing does not enhance the creative process! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3761 Hold still! We don't have much time before the Ice Age comes! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3762 Hold still or you'll end up with three tusks! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3763 So, swipe left or right? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3764 STAND STILL ALMOST DONE,YOU GONNA BE FAMOUS 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3765 The collagist will be here tomorrow to add the wool 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3766 Told ya, I can make you seem smaller than you really are. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3767 A Wooly Mammoth. I really should have drawn an animal that is uncommon. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3768 Will you stop evolving for a second? I don’t have all Stone Age to get this drawn, you know.... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3769 Okay, this is for the baby's corner. Look cuddly. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3770 Yes, I put the art in artifact. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3771 Remember... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3772 Why would I eat your daughter? She was only this big. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3773 This is elephant. Elephant must leave cave to poop. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3774 Now maybe they will remember to talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3775 You want to buy a vowel? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3776 Oh come on, this is a great clue! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3777 You're why I paint on walls. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3778 Now I'll always have something to remember you by. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3779 What are peanuts? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3780 See how beautiful you will look after I take off your tusks. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3781 I'm telling ya, the key to cave dating is to have snazy wall pic. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3782 Move your trunk again and I'll make sure this becomes a still life. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3783 Yes, I know you have a bigger proboscis, but nobody would believe it. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3784 Stop that............no body likes a half smile. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
3785 You look fantastic in the fire's light! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3786 My legs are NOT that fat Ronald. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3787 Do you want with or without tusks? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3788 Forget the gentle wooly mammoth, Harry ! ... I want to see the scourge of Cro-Magnon: that massive, elephantlike mammal with fierce eyes and curved upper tusks! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3789 Please, for history's sake, I need you to look more woolly! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3790 I'm sorry the fire was hurting your trunk, but I need it held still and straight out for just a few more hours. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3791 Relax, look into the distance and imagine a field before you. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3792 Do you mind stepping a little closer, I don’t have my glasses. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3793 Hush. Your not supposed to appear for another 500.000 years. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3794 Yeah, I didn't think they really meant it when they said 'bomb them back to the stone age' either. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3795 ... and they'll wear this image on their hides and be so overwhelmed by your timeless beauty that they'll hate the new, condemn change and raise a moron who believes in the samo-samo to lead them. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3796 Yes, the ritual concludes with us eating you. But you'll be immortal. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3797 I call it, Reclining Nude. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3798 It’s for posterity. They’re going to love it. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3799 Try not to move. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3800 Hold still! If you keep moving, you're gonna be extinct before I can finish this. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3801 Suck in your cheeks, lift your trunk or you'll never be on the cover of Vogue. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3802 I said pouty face! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3803 I'd like posterity to think we were more than horn hunters. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3804 What do you see when you look at them? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3805 Be patient. When it's finished it will be a "mastapiece!" 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3806 Ok, now what are you thinking for the caption? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3807 I really think your horrible drawing is the elephant in the room here. 1.2083 0.06542 72 62 5 5
3808 I hear sows don't actually care about size, but yes, I can carve the tusks bigger if you want. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3809 Hold still, I'm losing the light. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3810 No, you can’t put your clothes back on yet. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3811 You can keep trying your Tuscaloosa joke all you want, but it won't work for several millenia. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3812 Cave bears, saber-tooths, a couple of giant beavers, but mostly mammoths. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3813 I told you this is an homage, not a portrait. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3814 Look, nobody's gonna know. So try to look more like a ferocious wooly mammoth than just a tired old mastodon. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3815 STOP MOVING! What do you think you're working for, PEANUTS?! 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3816 I can give you 5 wallet-size pictures for 2 dollars more. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3817 This is going to get a lot of likes! 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3818 Thanks for the tribute, I won't forget this. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3819 I'm having a hard time capturing your negative space 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3820 Please try not to move. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3821 Up to you, but I'd swipe right. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3822 It’s a little late to mention that you’d prefer a cubist approach. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3823 I'm also inventing artistic license. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3824 Hold still. The light is just right. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3825 No, I don't know how to "photoshop". 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3826 Let's go? What do you mean, let's go? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3827 Hold steady a few more minutes, and I'll get you all the peanuts you want. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3828 This will last till tomorrow but if you do it—25,000 years I reckon. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3829 HOLD STILL! Your next banana break is in ten minutes. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3830 The tusks are super - but may be in demand, so let's leave them out and just do "Woolly Mammoth"? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3831 So you want me to 'like' the photo now? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3832 If you break wind one more time I’m going to ask the agency for a new model. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3833 as you can see by my depiction, you are not morbidly obese. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3834 What do you mean, "It doesn't look like a wooly mammoth"? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3835 What do you say we add a mouse for good measure? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3836 Hold still or I’ll add 10 pounds 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3837 A picture always adds 40 lbs. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3838 Don't move ! I will make you immortal. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3839 Do you think I should draw it to scale? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3840 For your information, it's art, not graffiti. And don't you forget it! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3841 And I made this mark when you were 2 years old. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3842 Now smile...it's for posterity 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3843 A shade more to the left, please. Like yesterday. Remember? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3844 Is that your good side? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3845 Don't worry, I'll cover the finer points later. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3846 Don’t worry I’ll make sure you don’t look “toothy” 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3847 We’re here because all the studio spaces at Lascaux we’re booked. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3848 Sorry! I'm working with primitive materials you know! 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3849 Turn your head slightly to the left and look up! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3850 Well it's only a preliminary sketch OK 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3851 Just because you're the elephant in the room doesn't mean you I have to make you look bigger than you are. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3852 If you keep moving, I'm going to have to hire another model. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3853 What am I missing here? 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3854 I assure you it's not ivory. It's just a sharp stone. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3855 Now, don't move!! 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
3856 Too bad. Realism won't be invented for another 10,000 years. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3857 The light is perfect! Hold that pose, just raise your trunk. Show me some of your inner fierceness. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3858 Now show me your teeth. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3859 Like I said, the tusks make your nose look big. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3860 No , no, your left side is your best feature. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3861 Don't tilt your head. You need to look fierce! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3862 . . . but I made you look younger 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3863 Try not to show so much teeth. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3864 Seriously, that face just screams longevity. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3865 Fire good but Mango make art! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3866 ...and you last saw her yesterday? 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3867 You wouldn’t believe how much I had to pay for a cave with good northern lights. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3868 Lessons? I’m literally the first one to draw. Anything! Ever! 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3869 Quit your whining! It's called 'artistic license,' Dumbo. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3870 Don't look at me that way. I have not made your nose look too big. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3871 You're woolly all right, but not that woolly. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3872 Now I know why so much of art is abstract. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3873 Stop complaining. How do you know what you looked like as a little boy. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3874 Okay, the guy who threw the spear, how big was his nose? 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3875 I usually do profiles. 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
3876 What do you mean “you look fat” in it? 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
3877 Because future people will be obsessed with the past, believe me! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3878 At least in this room they will talk about you. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3879 I know it's not my best... 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3880 I hope you’re accentuating my lips. I paid a lot for these lips. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3881 I said " Don't move! " 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3882 I have to make you smaller than real life because they haven’t invented stepladders yet. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3883 Stop moving or I'll make you extinct! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3884 Stop evolving, I can't make any changes. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3885 The lighting is all wrong. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3886 Hold still. I am making a symbol for the GOP! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3887 This is just a charcoal sketch, eventually you'll be in oil... 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3888 Helen, could you stop fucking standing there and grab me another brewski or something? I worked my ass of ALL DAY and i would like to relax without you in my face for once, jesus 1.2000 0.06625 70 61 4 5
3889 Poetic license. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3890 OMG.... That really stinks! Next time just ask to take five, okay? 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
3891 Look, sorry to interrupt, but I both never forget and don't really need you to humansplain mammoths to me. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3892 I can't believe I agreed to do this for 'exposure'. Exposure to who? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3893 Early Failures in Cave Training: "Just a few more minutes and I'll take you outside". 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3894 The donkey was a much better model. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3895 'I am going for a neo-Neolithic look, give me a little more of a menacing glare.' 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3896 People will go crazy for this in 40,000 years. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3897 No ,I can't just draw you from memory! 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
3898 OK, but this is the last time. Why in the hell are you beasts so damn forgetful? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3899 I know you want a bigger trunk but Surrealism isn’t a thing yet 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3900 You really haven't lost weight it's just with limited wall space I need to scale my paintings down. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3901 Trust me we’re going viral in 2000 years! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3902 You look great. Remember, the chisel adds 100 pounds. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3903 Don't give me that look, you know the cave adds ten pounds. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3904 Some artists turn an elephant into a bit of paint, I turn a bit of paint into an elephant. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3905 It's not my best work, but you're no Christie Brinkley either. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3906 But you wanted me to make you look younger! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3907 Because if I drew you life sized it would take up the entire wall! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3908 That's ridiculous! I don't see any junk in your trunk at all. You're divinely Rubenesque. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3909 Hold still. If this comes out nice, I may make it big as an artist in a billion years. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3910 Never forget that you are not a snake, a fan, or a tree trunk. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3911 What do you mean you can't remember what happened? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3912 Ok. Give me angry. No, no not that angry. That’s it. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3913 Me swear, only made fire to see you better. Now come closer. 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
3914 Artistic license !!! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3915 Of course it's you, nitwit! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3916 I’m sure she’ll be very impressed 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3917 I'm only showing your good side. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3918 Love the smirk. Now give me that mammoth attitude that’s really gonna sell this cave. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3919 Ironically, I think you look better without the tusks 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3920 Tsk, tsk. Your descendants will thank me in the end. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3921 Can you do a running pose? I need some narrative content for the others. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3922 I can’t make your ears any bigger. We’re in India. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3923 Good muse; nice and easy, good muse . . . . 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3924 I haven't seen your friends outside since it started to get colder; come to think of it, I haven't seen my friends either. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3925 Again?! You just came in from your walk! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3926 I’m trying to capture the way you looked the first time you saw a mouse. Take it or leave it. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3927 Do you want me to make your tusks a little longer? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3928 Mastodon no worry. Cave wall add ten pounds. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3929 I’ve decided to depict your nose as not all that mammoth. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3930 What a smile! You've got a magnificently chiseled face! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3931 Don't worry. The cave drawing takes off 200 pounds. 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
3932 "Until you figure out how to hold the brush, your the model and I'm the artist". 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3933 Tusk, tusk. I'm a cave painter dammit! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3934 Time for the final touches. Say, "Cheese." 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3935 Just five more minutes. THEN you can have the bun. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3936 Will you remember this pose for tomorrow's work? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3937 Trumpet all you want--I'm not giving you a bigger trunk. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3938 Okay, I’m gonna leave the tusks out. They’re tricky. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3939 Now the suspect had no tusks and 'African' ears, Right? 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3940 Cave wall enhancer man,can you air brush my mammoth wrinkles and my long grey body hair? And could you give me a lava-like, pink glow? 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3941 That's nice - really sexy! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3942 No I won’t apply a filter, and no you cannot hold the selfie stick, this is a painting. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3943 You don't have to draw it out, I remember what you said the first time. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3944 I know you are tired...but you must turn left and face the light. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3945 I'll fix this in post. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3946 For the last time, quit smiling! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3947 This one is for posterity. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3948 Paleoglyphs always add a few pounds! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3949 Relax, the cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3950 We're upgrading you from read-only memory. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3951 ... and then, she told me to paint her like one of my French girls 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3952 Yes, I consider this a contribution to Early Political Art. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3953 And when you find her be nice, as female elephants never forget. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3954 Don't worry. I promise not to make your nose too big. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3955 Sorry...these cave paintings always add about 500 pounds. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3956 Just be glad I'm wielding a brush and not a spear. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3957 You eat paleo, too? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3958 Smile again, please, the paint is drying. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3959 Enough whining; the agency contract says no peanut break until you've posed for three hours. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3960 We guarantee you'll loose 2 tons in a month, we can make you look like this. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3961 I made you look happier for your portrait. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3962 Admit it! You got a hair cut since yesterday's sitting, didn't you? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3963 Stand still! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3964 Hey, you don't work for peanuts so I had to rush it! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3965 You may not forget anything, but I certainly do. 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
3966 I'm a vegetarian too - as you might have guessed 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3967 My first nude. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3968 Oh, good!!! You got my good side. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3969 Move a lot more to the right and you can become a national symbol. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3970 Smile, you're on candid cave art! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3971 You keep giving me a droopy trunk and I'll leave out your tusks. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3972 Stop with the Criticism. That hasn't been invented yet. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3973 This is your cousin Irving. He's obviously not as evolved as you are, but he's family. What can we do? 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3974 It's an editorial cartoon... now tell the jackass to get in here! 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
3975 I've already told you to keep your head still! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
3976 Why the Hell not? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
3977 Just a bit more profile, please. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
3978 Honey, look. This is how I see you. Don't let anyone fat shame you. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
3979 I don't care if you have to go, just thirty more minutes please. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
3980 Stand very still. I'm painting you for posterity. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
3981 I’m sorry but the wall adds 800 lbs. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3982 Are you almost done? My trunk itches. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3983 My nose isn't that big! 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
3984 Your tusks are two feet long, not three. History matters. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3985 If you keep moving like that, I'll have to start all over. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3986 KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN AND YOUR TRUNK CLOSED 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3987 Lucky you. You’ll be at the top of the menu. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3988 Hey, I'm a charicature cave artist.You want realism, go to Manet's cave! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3989 Don’t feel bad. I told you the chisel adds 10 pounds. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3990 I don't care that you're pink. Who will ever know the difference? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3991 Turn slightly to your right. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3992 I can lengthen your tusks, increase their curve, raise your shoulders, lengthen your legs, tighten your body length, and implant wooly hair, but, even in the dark, he’ll still know you’re a mastodon, not a mammoth. Your teeth are all wrong. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3993 Can you give me a little more "happy" in the eyes? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3994 Don't worry about that! Not too many of your kind will fit at the opening and your mother will love it no matter what 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3995 I'll ChiselShop your double chin out, don't worry!! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3996 It's my own invention. I call it a 'dating site'. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3997 Stand still, I want to get your trunk just right. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3998 how do you expect me to draw the true you with that sagging trunk? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3999 Okay, I'll title it 'Man's Best Friend', but won't that always be obvious to everyone? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4000 What do you mean, you "forgot" to stand still? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4001 You look bloated. Are you bloated? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4002 This job became a lot more dangerous once we moved beyond stick figures. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4003 Don't look so smug...it's not like an elephant can paint. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4004 It’s hard to capture your personality with a stick. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4005 Interrupt me again, and the tusks are gone entirely 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4006 I thought you might be interested in posing for my “Wall of Extinction Exhibit” 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4007 Explain bitcoin to me one more time 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4008 So this is your first modeling gig? You seem like a natural. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4009 Stop complaining. I can hire a replacement model for peanuts. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4010 Did you say, 'Tsk, tsk' or 'tusk, tusk'? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4011 I think it's pretty darn good for Pictionary. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4012 It's not all about you. It's me that will be remembered 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4013 stop correcting me. I’m the artist ! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4014 Actually, I'm a democrat. I caved for the extra commission. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4015 Mirror mirror on the wall... 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4016 Stop complaining, you told me to make you look younger. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4017 I think it’s time we address the elephant fart in the room. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4018 ...and after the swelling goes down, voila! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4019 Don't turn too far to the Right. It's nobody's best side. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4020 Hold still. The Republican Convention opens here tomorrow and I have to get the cave properly decorated. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4021 Stop smiling. I'm trying to catch your serious side. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4022 It’s just a hobby. I know it’s not going to be in the Smithsonian. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4023 You made my nose too big 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4024 Don't worry, I left out the wrinkles. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4025 Okay, for posterity, I’ll give you an extra 6” on your tusks. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4026 Don't you "tusk, tusk" me. I'm not done. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4027 I can't understand why you think this makes you look fat. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4028 As you can see, this diagram addresses the elephant in the room. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4029 So what if you aren't wooly? I think you have a look that will last! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4030 I know it's 2 dimensional, but my therapist told me to just address the elephant in the room 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4031 Just keep still. This is one for the ages. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4032 Keep that pose 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4033 Don't worry. I can draw your trunk as less prominent. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4034 I know I left out the tusks! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4035 Stop exaggerating. Everyone knows the cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4036 Whaddya mean 'it needs a caption'? What the hell is that!? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4037 You dictate. I’ll write. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4038 Now give me a look that says,"I've just been mortally wounded by a skilled archer, but he's so dreamy that I'm strangely okay with it." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4039 Could you turn sideways for me? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4040 Alright, alright, I won't make your nose look too big 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4041 Yes...an etching by master Don could make you famous! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4042 This is what you’ll look like after we remove the tusks, you won’t look as cool, but people in the future will stop hunting you 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4043 Well, that just proves pornography is in the eye of the beholder. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4044 OK, OK - prehensile trunk. You can have the chalk soon as I finish. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4045 In time, you'll be famous! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4046 Sorry about the poor lighting. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4047 No, I can't make you look any younger. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4048 Please try to look a little more menacing. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4049 It's not perfect but grad students will go into debt to study it in a million years. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4050 Alright. I'll make you thinner next time. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4051 Nearly there. Don't move. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4052 Trust me. Your left is your good side. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4053 Hold still. I want to paint you like a French elephant. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4054 Could you step outside? You're breaking my concentration. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4055 Well excuse me for not knowing your left side is your bad side. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4056 No I did not make your butt look big on purpose. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4057 I said make me look slimmer not smaller 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4058 But you DO have a week chin. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4059 Stand still. We want everyone to talk about the elephant in the cave. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4060 Stop laughing. The portrait may not be perfect but I did get us fire. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4061 Hey Im drawing a picture of my dog on the wall stop moving! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4062 Could you look a little more interested, engaged, less bored, Please? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4063 I’d finish a lot quicker if you would quit moving. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4064 Okay, Geoff, We agreed no comments from the peanut gallery! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4065 How many times do I have to tell you? This will rub right off! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4066 Stand still already or I ain't gonna pay you peanuts. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4067 You will never be forgotten 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4068 And by extending the trunk outward, you will appear to have all the answers. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4069 The easiest way to get a cute little turned up one is to remove the tusks first. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4070 I know you want it "life-size" but I have have to leave room for the other animals. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4071 This is my cave. I'm trying to make a subtle suggestion that you leave. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4072 It'll look more real as soon as someone invents better lighting. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4073 I hate to give you the bad news, but you are fat. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4074 How about a bigger smile? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4075 What do you mean you don't remember the color of her eyes? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4076 I'm impressed with how much you remember from last week's lesson. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4077 Don't tusk-tusk me! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4078 Man’s best friend, the early years. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4079 Do I have to spell it out for you? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4080 What, you don't like pink? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4081 There will be absolutely no coconuts if you can't hold the trunk up for the full hour 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4082 I won't forget if you make me fat. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4083 Can you wipe off that enigmatic half-smile? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4084 So, how long have you been working for Fred & Wilma? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4085 Turn your tusks a little to the left 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4086 Can't you hold it until I'm finished. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4087 OK, OK. I won't make you look too fat. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4088 Me done inventing for today. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4089 Just remember, the Prehistoric paint brush adds a few hundred pounds. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4090 Show me some tusk. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4091 Don't you judge me. It's art! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4092 You're really capturing my essence. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4093 For an extra 20 can you add a couple inches. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4094 Doesn't capture your soul? Do you realize how many eons it'll be before my species even comes up with that concept? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4095 Hold still while the light from the meteor lasts. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4096 The only reason you got this gig is that you work for peanuts. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4097 "I've already told you, it's supposed to look like that. It's called cubism". 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4098 Of course I can make you look thinner, but my art is about TRUTH! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4099 C'mon, hold still! After all, I'm paying you peanuts! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4100 Well I'm sorry. Abstractionism hasn't been invented yet. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4101 Not very photo-realistic! I'm working with clay and spit over here Harvey. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4102 Can you turn a little to the left and uncurl your trunk? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4103 This will go on your permanent record! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4104 What do you expect, it's not a photograph. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4105 Earliest known paparazzo. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4106 I knew we shouldn't have done this inside...somebody get me a shovel! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4107 You do look slimmer with smaller tusks. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4108 Back off Tusky, think you can do better? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4109 Don't make me look mammoth. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4110 So, I was the only one who would address the elephant in the room! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4111 I'm sorry but you are fat. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4112 I paint motion pictures! If you wanted a still life, you should have gone to the grotto down the hill! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4113 No, no. It's the cave walls, they add ten stones. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4114 All I’m saying is, lose the tusks and you could be big in politics. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4115 One more time; you blinked. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4116 We can slim you down with shading! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4117 You really do look better without the tusks. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4118 So what if I made your nose too big! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4119 Don't you see, by altering your physique; shortening your legs and tusks, swelling your middle, I have created the first elephant joke. Proving once and for all, Neanderthals had a better sense of humor than Homo erectus and Homo sapiens. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4120 Sure - if you can sit for me for 6 hours a day, I will make you famous. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4121 Well, the wall does add 5 pounds or so. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4122 At least there will evidence that one of us lived here. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4123 Yes, if I draw pants on you it will make your ass look fat. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4124 C’mon. You can get this. If you subtract the nine and carry the two.... 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4125 I am impressed that you can make fire, but as an artist you suck. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4126 Yes, I will paint you like one of those French elephants. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4127 OK, once this goes viral, you'll be ready to launch a clothing line. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4128 I know "size matters" but it's not like I can run up to the cave on the corner and buy more paint. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4129 You're sure you want them that big? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4130 Points well taken, but hold still. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4131 I know you're in the room, but that doesn't make you a respected critic. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4132 If you think it's so easy you do it! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4133 Hmm, maybe just give me an ambiguous little half-smile... 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4134 So the plan is to invent agriculture, then bronze and cities, then iron and bigger cities, then the Renaissance and the Internet. But then we get Trump… 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4135 So YOU think it's longer. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4136 Call it: "Portrait of T-rump" 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4137 It's all about the smile. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4138 It's supposed to look childish. This is the children's cave. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4139 Yeah, the opening receptions can be crazy, man. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4140 Well, I'm really good at stick-men, but you're an elephant. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4141 One day this wall will be worth 35 berry bushes, just you wait. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4142 This will be the "before" picture. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4143 The fire makes you look 100 pounds heavier 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4144 Ewww I look ugly, delete it. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4145 Time to impress the elephant in the room. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4146 "Do you want it with or without your trunks on?" Rob Mulderry, Rye, NY 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4147 Oh I'm sorry, did I draw your son? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4148 I couldn't do this without you! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4149 Yes, by all means, go outside for a bathroom break. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4150 Mona, please stand still. I need to get your smile just right 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4151 I'm not going for realism. I'm going for lasting art. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4152 I can't finish this unless you stand absolutely still. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4153 Pay attention: Facebook is easy. For example, this is your wall..... 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4154 You're pushing me into my Gray Period. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4155 Ok, let's try a less enigmatic smile this time. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4156 And your first name? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4157 Now add just a hint of a smile. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4158 I am doing this so you won't forget. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4159 You want one without the fur? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4160 Is that really your only pose? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4161 You think you can do better? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4162 I thought that WAS your good side. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4163 It's called artistic license! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4164 No! No! We’re not going for regal. We agreed this should be coquettish. Now drop the shoulder forward and cock the knee. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4165 Hey buddy, could ya hold still! And another thing, this bright, warm, crackling light is a new invention called fire. If you fart in here, you are going to blow us both to smithereens! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4166 I think I'll call you Babar. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4167 Why don't we try it with a smile this time? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4168 I'm gonna make you a superstar, honey 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4169 You have to go outside AGAIN? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4170 Well, it wasn’t me! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4171 Oh, look, another profile. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4172 Because I can't get the saber tooth to sit still, that's why. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4173 If you don't hold still, extinction won't be fake news. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4174 This is you if you keep going to that Chinese dentist. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4175 You're exuding a mammoth amount of ennui right now. I can't work like this. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4176 Please turn your head toward the light. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4177 Can you lean further to the right, please? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4178 is this really your best side? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4179 Yeah I know I didn't capture your expressive eyes... it's primitive art! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4180 I don't care how many of your friends come stampeding in here, THIS is an elephant! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4181 Tusks? Could you stop evolving until i finish, please? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4182 Stay still. If I mess up, you'll never let me forget. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4183 I'm the first Log Cavern Republican. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4184 Show more emotion, you're very angry. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4185 The fire light makes you look a bit long in the tooth. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4186 Its only a selfie if you chiseled it yourself. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4187 One more lift for the peanut. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4188 I'm actually an architect. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4189 Hold still! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4190 Stop moving, or I'll make your ears too big! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4191 Okay, now show me that beautiful profile! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4192 Could you turn your head and look a little more...coquettish? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4193 Hold still. 40,000 years from now, we'll be famous! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4194 Illustration's a sideline for me. My true love is animation but the market penetration isn't there yet. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4195 Hold still; they are going to want a record of who lived here. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4196 Wet your lips and pout, I want you to give me sexy. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4197 Tusks not big enough? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4198 Hold still with the eyelids, I'm trying to capture you exactly as you are. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4199 I liked the other filter better. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4200 1.) "Don't worry, I'll blur out your acne." 2.) "Let me address the elephant in the room." 3.) "If this turns out well, I call dibs on posting." 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4201 I don't know why, it's just awkward. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4202 Make up your mind: I can do the tusks big or I can do the tusks small. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4203 Yes, it's your good side. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4204 Do you think you can remember to stay still today? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4205 I told you before this is going to be a nude. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4206 I'll always see you as a baby. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4207 I’ll need a piece of your tusk to paint your tusks. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4208 No, I'm not painting lasers coming out of your tusks! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4209 No, I'm a realist. I cannot make you look thinner. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4210 Please don’t label it “Lil Trumpet Man” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4211 I’m doing this for peanuts. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4212 It is a mammoth painting. Its just not very big. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4213 Artists work for peanuts, but as my model you'll get a 25% cut. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4214 Chill - you'll thank me when you're extinct. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4215 Hope you don't mind if I take a few notes. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4216 For crying' out loud, put the wooly coat back on! Some things should be left to the imagination. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4217 Well, they looked smaller on the other side of the cave! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4218 Just give me 5 more minutes, then you get a bathroom break. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4219 It’s called “artistic license”! And trust me; your image will be preserved for the ages! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4220 After I learn to draw hands, you’re fired! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4221 Stop complaining. What do you expect? I told you not to move. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4222 Of course it's not as clear as your photographic memory of the event! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4223 I think we need to have a conversation about trunk and tusk envy. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4224 Oh my God, delete that. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4225 Let's both run away and join the circus. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4226 Quit doing duck lips! It's a portrait, not a selfie. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4227 You're too big; I'm a minimalist. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4228 No, that's a tad too much to the right... 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4229 No. This is realism. I will not make you look thinner. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4230 Damn it ! For the last time, can you please keep your trunk elevated. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4231 You know your stare carries a lot of weight! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4232 In 30,000 years you'll be famous! 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4233 Hold still Jerry, the selfie isn't invented yet! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4234 It does NOT make you look fat! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4235 What do YOU think would be a good caption? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4236 A little to the left please! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4237 Ok. I'm a lousy artist, so sue me. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4238 Your trunk doesn't look too small! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4239 The rest of the focus group should be here any minute. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4240 Stay still! Trunk out, please. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4241 I am NOT making you look fat! 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4242 Freeze 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4243 Stop kvetching. This IS your good side! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4244 Wake up! I'm not paying you uncultivated peanuts to sleep. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4245 We could try putting it on milk cartons. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4246 Hold still! I can't do this if you keep waving that thing around! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4247 You're fired! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4248 No. I'm not using the same caption as the last caveman cartoon. OK? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4249 Yes. I agree, your left side is your best. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4250 Will you stop slouching! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4251 Yeah! Yeah! Everyone's a critic. Just shut up and hold still! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4252 So it's not you. What do you expect from an unemployed cave painter? 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
4253 Hey, you moved. Hold still. I am almost finished. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4254 Don’t forget! Keep your trunk up… It’s good luck! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4255 I told you already: I don't do 'actual-size'! 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4256 Waddaya mean,'The nose is too big'? 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4257 Sorry, no politics in the cave. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4258 "Yes, I'll title it "Master Don" instead. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4259 Good. And if you could just turn your head a little, away from the bows and arrows... 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4260 Com'on now, you remember how to smile. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4261 Just relax, the paint brush adds ten pounds. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4262 Mammoth,shmammoth-just be glad I have some space left. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4263 Did you say, 'Tsk, tsk' or 'tusk, tusk'? 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4264 One of these days someone will invent Botox. Then you will look like your painting. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4265 It's a caricature 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4266 If you can hold still for just a few more minutes I promise we'll go clubbing. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4267 Throwback Thursday. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4268 Oh relax! Cave paintings make you look 1500 pounds lighter. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4269 I can only paint what I see. So if you want a sabre tooth tiger, you'll have to bring me a sabre tooth tiger... 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4270 Hold still - I'm new at this. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4271 Please raise your trunk above your tusks and hold it there until I am finished. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4272 ‘It’s so, after dinner, we won’t forget you as we show gratitude for your sacrifice !’ 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4273 Yes, I'm afraid that your nose IS that big. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4274 This isn’t Thailand and, no, you may not borrow my paint. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4275 I always find legs difficult. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4276 It's meant to be satirical. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4277 You can rest your trunk in another five minutes. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4278 Who you calling' "Dumbo"! 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4279 Looks a bit primitive to me...focus more on my skin texture 1.1912 0.06710 68 60 3 5
4280 Don't be so bitter, everyone knows that cave paintings add about 10 pounds. 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
4281 When we’re done would you mind sending in big tooth cat? 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4282 Give me a wry smile, Mona. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4283 You should really trim those tusks. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4284 I know it doesn't look like you. It's an allegory. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4285 I just need to finish this tusk 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4286 Now, this part is important. Don't forget. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4287 Hold that pose. This is going to be a real work of art. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4288 Could you just try to look a little less icy? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4289 Hold it . . . . Don’t move .... that’s it. ..... perfect ... got it. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4290 You’re the one with the memory...so how did it begin?...”We The People of the United States...?” 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4291 I know you need a headshot by next Tuesday! I'm going as fast as I can! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4292 OK, OK. I know it's primitive. This is just my hobby. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4293 Perspective would make you look fat. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4294 I refuse to work for peanuts! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4295 No tusks. Makes you look like an old cave dweller. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4296 You’re not mammoth. Everyone looks ten pounds heavier in their picture. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4297 I know it’s representational, but the other stuff hasn’t been invented yet. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4298 Of course I'm not painting the tusks - you want to get poached? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4299 Freeze 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4300 it's not graffiti, this is a business improvement district 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4301 This is indeed the biggest crowd to admire my art; take my word for it! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4302 This will remind everyone of your upcoming extinction. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4303 That's it...yeah...just make love to the wall 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4304 Yes, I can take out some of the wrinkles, but you're never going to look better than you do right now. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4305 I like it but I think you made my nose too big. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4306 Trust me! I may be a starving artist but I 've never eaten one of my models. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4307 This could cement your legacy. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4308 Calm down, this is not meant to be to scale. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4309 The real elephant in the room is these primitive working conditions. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4310 Yes I can make your tusks longer if you think it makes your eyes pop. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4311 You're the one that checked super model instead of zoo. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4312 first, compliment her intelligence, and then talk about her youthful appearance 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4313 I need that sexy look!. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4314 Ten more minutes of the big smile and I roast the peanuts. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4315 I'm not starting over, your trunk looks fine. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4316 We're becoming social so I need to post you on my wall. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4317 I hope this will get a lot of likes. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4318 You deaf? A little to the LEFT! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4319 Okay, now give me that sly, winsome smile. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4320 It'll cost you a trunk load of peanuts for one tusk, or two trunk loads of peanuts for two tusks. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4321 Ok, just freeze right there for a minute. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4322 This is postcard size. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4323 Almost done with selfie. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4324 No, 'me' is not the right answer. I was looking for 'inconsiderate roommate who tramples all over the cave'. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4325 I swear to you bro, my paintings are gonna be famous one day! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4326 Oh now that you're closer to the light I can see the resemblance. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4327 Don't worry, the cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4328 Your descendants will recognize your nobility. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4329 Believe me they're going to be huge! For all of posterity they're going to HUGE! 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4330 It's called "impressionism" wise guy... so sit still and shut the hell up. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4331 I already painted you with your trunk up. Don’t make me get the viagra. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4332 I know it's not very good, but I think my art is evolving. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4333 Is mammoth spelled with two tusks or one? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4334 turn to the left, I want to catch your good side 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4335 It is so your best side! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4336 What do you mean, swipe left? I haven’t even finished the picture! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4337 Wait, Dad is busy right now. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4338 I know it's your first commission, but those look like Walrus tusks 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4339 OK........,.done! You can put your woolies back on now. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4340 Yes, stay right there. I don't have your memory. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4341 I told you NOT to shave for your portrait. You look too evolved. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4342 No, this is what you look like 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4343 Maintain your presence or this painting is history. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4344 Would you please hold still? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4345 Bigger smile, please. Show more tusk. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4346 You can put your robe back on now. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4347 Can’t you remember yesterday’s pose? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4348 Well, you're not exactly the Mona Lisa either. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4349 Not another word about the length of your tusks. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4350 And I don't need any comment from the peanut gallery either. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4351 Derivitive? It’s mankind’s first expression of creativity! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4352 Maybe we should try it with the robe on. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4353 Want me to wipe left or right? Hurry up and decide before she's extinct. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4354 Let me see that enigmatic smile! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4355 Nose up! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4356 ... but you said draw me like one of your French girls. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4357 Can you stop mugging? This cave's for my serious art. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4358 Is that supposed to be me? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4359 Be afraid. Be very afraid. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4360 Let's talk about the elephant in the room. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4361 Go on Grog, paint me like one of your cave girls! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4362 Can I paint you like one of my French elephants instead? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4363 Is my nose really that big? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4364 Trust me, you will be long remembered! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4365 I promise your butt won't look too big. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4366 Don't look so unimpressed–I'm a primitive artist. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4367 Please turn a bit more to your left .... and stand still! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4368 I'm sorry but this is your good side. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4369 Objects in the mirror are smaller than they appear 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4370 OK, so I'm not Picasso. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4371 ...and this marked the beginning of the Picasstone Age. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4372 'Oh,so now you're a critic!" 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4373 Sorry, it’s not me, the cave wall adds ten pounds ! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4374 Bigger, if I had more paint. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4375 I think I need more light. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4376 I can't label it 'not actual size,' because we haven't developed written language yet. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4377 No! Let's get this straight. Wyoming has 585,000 people, and gets 2 senators and 3 electoral votes. New York has 20 million people, and gets 2 senators, and 29 electoral votes. Now that's fair, get it?! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4378 The natural light really brings out your eyes. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4379 In portraiture, less is more 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4380 Sorry, I think I need a bear. Kingdom of the Cave Mastodon doesn’t really work. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4381 Posing nude is unconventional, but maybe we can start a trend. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4382 You're a model, not an art critic. No tusks! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4383 That's not your best side. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4384 Hold still please for a few more minutes.... 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4385 All right, YOU try drawing it! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4386 I hear you, but if we draw actual size we run out of cave. Don't worry; everything will be to scale. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4387 You're looking good like a young lady should. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4388 Now is a fine time to tell me that you get paid extra for posing nude. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4389 Now get out there and find her before she goes extinct! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4390 Because if you don't write it down, how would you remember it? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4391 Listen, Mr. Bigshot Critic, I'm abstracting the essential elements of shape, form, color, and texture, producing results that are millennia ahead of my time. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4392 Hold still Ill mess up your trunk. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4393 Because I don't want to talk about what's in the room. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4394 If you're cold, I can get you another space heater. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4395 Who are you calling endangered ??!! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4396 Like I told you, I'm painting a miniture. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4397 How to teach your elephant to draw. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4398 Stay still. That's the perfect lighting. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4399 I know this is taking a long time, but charcoal on rock is not that easy! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4400 I can only assume that the back of you looks something like this? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4401 What, you want more tusk? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4402 I'll paint them as they are -- we can Photoshop them later. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4403 Don't you think a 3/4's pose would be more flattering? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4404 It’s not laziness, it’s postmodern!! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4405 Compared to what? 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4406 Tired? Tired? Do you want me to get this right or not? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4407 I thought an elephant on the wall was better than an elephant in the room. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4408 BIGGER 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4409 Because we will remain a dignified Party. And if it is global warming, why do we still need a fire? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4410 I'm not the one who keeps fidgeting! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4411 Go lay down! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4412 Must you always watch me when I'm working? 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4413 Are you sure you want to face that way? Last week your “good side” was the other side. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4414 I’m going to write it down just in case. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4415 Hey....... if I make it life size, thousands of years from now archeologists will think I was a crack pot! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4416 Don't worry; in 10,000 years, the likeness will be history. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4417 No, no, your pose is all wrong. Please try to focus on the tusk at hand! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4418 It reminds me when you weren't so long in the tooth. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4419 I told you, the cave adds ten pounds. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4420 You try to keep your trunk up for hours! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4421 The digital copy will be an extra $35. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4422 Don't worry, it's just a rough sketch, the final portrait will be in oil. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4423 Primitive ultrasound 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4424 If I have to wash one more self-portrait off this wall... 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4425 Okay! Okay! I'll send one to your cell phone! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4426 Early application of rock art, commonly known as Pictogram. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4427 Yes, I'm going to draw your tusks, but I'm going to put them in the right place. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4428 Don't worry, the brush adds 10 pounds. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4429 In this day and age they'll think I was stoned while painting! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4430 Don't move! You're almost finished. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4431 I’m going to call it: “The Elephant in the Tomb.” 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4432 Try to remember, keep the trunk up. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4433 If I take off any more fat you’ll look like a trilobite. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4434 Ok, ok. I'll make your trunk 'Uge, Massive, BIGGEST TRUNK EVER! 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4435 Maybe if you reclined. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4436 I'm done Elsie, the tusks make you look heavy. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4437 I'm doing portraits now, but I'm thinking of taking up political cartooning. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4438 I asked the modeling agent for a mastodon not an elephant! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4439 You weren't supposed to see my hunting petrograph. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4440 Me appreciate if you don't do Mona Lisa smile for picture. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4441 I can't wait to see Schjeldahl piss all over this one too. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4442 Please hold the pose. This must be accurate. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4443 Don’t worry. If you don’t like it, Photoshop will be along in a few millennia 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4444 Could you just forget what I said about your tusks? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4445 This is just the beginning. Wait’ll we do the trunk show! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4446 If you don't keep your nose out of the fire, we'll all be extinct! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4447 Even this will pass 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4448 Hold that pose! I'm farsighted! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4449 You want a life-size picture? Are you kidding me? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4450 Aren't you being a bit thin-skinned? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4451 For now just freeze. You can thaw when I tell you to thaw. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4452 Like it or not these are the new mating rituals. If you're interested you can "swipe right" on her picture or you can go back to the watering hole alone. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4453 I’m painting you trans gender so get over it! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4454 Now everyone will remember that you own the rights to fire. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4455 I don't care if you knocked em' dead at Lascaux. I want a shaggier model! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4456 Poetic license. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4457 Sorry, but this is your best side. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4458 I respect your opinion but remember this, you’ll be extinct by the time this art is truly appreciated. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4459 I just realized that if I had emailed you a selfie then this whole prolonged agony could have been avoided! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4460 Really! Another fucking Cave Man Art motif?! Consider your creative instinct extinct. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4461 Quit criticizing and turn back to profile. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4462 Are you looking for the vegan meet-up? Make a left and it's the pink cave on the right. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4463 Me start again. You Blink 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4464 Don't be so sensitive! I'm sure lots of she-elephants like a bull with a little junk in the trunk. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4465 Remember, this one's for posterity. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4466 What? It's called "Outsider Art." 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4467 Maybe a little less junk in the trunk? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4468 No Don, your trunk is not bigger, and no, this is not fake news. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4469 OK, check this out: We use your fossil, then we make petroleum products and and BOOM! we're all stinking rich! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4470 I'm not including the tusks because it suggest violence in and among species. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4471 Greed, Guns, and Money. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4472 Bringing out your delicate side. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4473 Well, I guess we'll just have to see who has a long memory. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4474 I am an orthodontist, not an artist! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4475 Don't look at me like that! I'm just a beginner! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4476 Please stand still,I`m trying to capture your best side. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4477 I am painting your good side. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4478 Quit swatting that fly! 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4479 I voted for you both times, by the way. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4480 A simpler time before pianos. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4481 I look so fat. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4482 If you want me to capture your good side, you need to stop wiggling. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4483 Frankly, I think I overcompensated. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4484 Trust me, the 'hairless' look will be very 'in' before you know it. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4485 Grok also family portraits and hunter parties. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4486 I'm trying for a knowing gaze with a hint of a smile 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4487 How's this for the nursery wallpaper? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4488 People in the future are really going to appreciate that you stood still. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4489 It’s in the tradition of primitive art - a rather vague description which refers to the cultural artifacts of ‘primitive’ peoples, those deemed to have a relatively low standard of technology. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4490 What do you mean “you forgot”? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4491 Just in case you go extinct, we'll have a record. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4492 Try to look more 2-dimensional. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4493 Oh, everybody's a critic. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4494 Do you know that civilization began when men learned to eat cooked meat? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4495 Trees cover up a multitude of sins. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4496 No roasting marshmallows until we're done. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4497 I know you have a break coming but we’re losingthe light.” “I know you’re overdue for a break but we’re losing the light. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4498 Please, keep your chin up a bit. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4499 You look beautiful, baby. . . . Just FEEL the fire, BE the fire. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4500 Make sure you emphasize my right tusk, I've been working on it. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4501 You have nothing to worry about. I'll add the spears in Photoshop. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4502 Just stay still for another million years. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4503 Are you sure you want me to leave your tusks off? We can just make them smaller if you'd prefer. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4504 I've told Og a hundred times, we need a written language! If he thinks it's that easy, let him sketch the dinner menu! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4505 I've been painting so long my hand is Thor. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4506 What do you want? You're paying me in peanuts. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4507 It looks nothing like you?? Ahh, you're off the wall! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4508 Pirouette please. It's a profile, not a portrait. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4509 You models are all alike! The last person I painted wanted his ears smaller and now you want them bigger. You all have no sense of what artistic integrity is. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4510 Delete it 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4511 What else did he look like? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4512 And don't forget to floss. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4513 "All those paint-by-stones" have really paid off. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4514 You're forgetting too many details. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4515 It’s proportional to your brain, pal. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4516 I'm telling you, the MOMA will accept this! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4517 I discovered fire. I invented art. I designed this fashionable frock. Why am I painting you? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4518 That is so pleistocene era, but let's stay with it. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4519 After your nose job, I can do a tummy tuck and liposuction. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4520 Relax, everyone is into minimalism these days. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4521 Hold still now, your descendants will need this to show that you were born here. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4522 Looks good, but could you draw it a little bit to the left? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4523 You need to strike a pose. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4524 You're more flattering in profile. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4525 It's the most requested surgery now, I'll operate it for free if you let me keep the Ivory. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4526 I refuse to retouch your wrinkles! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4527 I am sure someone will want to give it a caption. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4528 I don't care if you remember it going down differently, I am an impressionist! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4529 I airbrushed out the fat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4530 No, it’s POST-primitivism. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4531 Your confidence in your beautifully ample body is so refreshing, Babarella! Most of my models are so self-conscious about not having that “perfect pachyderm” look, they constantly fidget. A bit more trunk, please. Excellent! 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4532 Hold still will ya? Your future reputation depends on this! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4533 OK I'll finish it before you become extinct 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4534 Did you move? 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4535 Work with me here. Sexy! Sultry! That all you got? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4536 Forget about more lifelike--I'm not messing with art history. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4537 Don't worry. Together, we'll make the Paleolithic Great Again. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4538 'Yes dear' 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4539 "I promise I won't make you look fat". 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4540 Give us your 'heroic' Darling. This one's for all of pre-history. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4541 Let them not ignore the wooly mammoth in the room. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4542 Now, you're SURE you want to go with the monster tusks? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4543 What do you think? Did I capture your mood? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4544 Now take off your panties. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4545 A donkey; no way...it's an elephant or nothing! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4546 Me never promised not to draw the elephant in the room. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4547 A little to the right, I’m trying to capture your good side. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4548 I formally did portraiture in Tuscaloosa now when the tusks a loosa I'm a graffiti artist. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4549 I am capturing your irreverent side! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4550 Quit moving! This has to be perfect. Who do you think I am, Jackson Pollock? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4551 Please try to look like a horse. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4552 I'm out of burnt umber. Call it creative license. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4553 And I remember your trunk being up. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4554 Ok, now just turn a little to the right. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4555 No, I don't think a second trunk would be 'funny'. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4556 Move to the left 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4557 What did you think you looked like? Raquel Welch? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4558 Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your woolly mammoths. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4559 Oh for crying out loud, it IS your good side! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4560 Me no know how to do 3/4 view. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4561 I'm drawing you in an aroused state. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4562 One more crack about ‘real art’ and I’m replacing you with an antelope. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4563 It’s my own invention. I’m branding it “Chiaroscuro.” 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4564 This is what we call 'a selfie'. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4565 Please remember that nude portraiture is all about the lighting! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4566 Don't look at me that way--I'm a minimalist, not a portrait artist. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4567 Can't you stand still ? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4568 Now give me a wide smile, we need to show everyone what a happy life we have. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4569 Well if you'd stop moving maybe your nose wouldn't look so big. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4570 What, the cave adds thirty pounds 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4571 You moved hold still 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4572 I am doing the best I can given the lighting. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4573 Ceci n'est pas un elephant. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4574 I told you, you should have taken at least 10 Viagra. Now look at you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4575 I only work in stone. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4576 I’m telling you, this is what a French girl looks like. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4577 ... and they call Gauguin a primitivist! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4578 I told you I'd call you when it was finished! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4579 If you like your dinosaur, you can keep your dinosaur. If you like your Ice Age, you can keep your Ice Age (Prehistoric Presidents) 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4580 Trump's Presidential Portrait is Revealed 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4581 Stay still! this will get us loads of likes 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4582 Whoa there big guy, who's the artist? Stick figures just don't capture your mammoth proportions. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4583 Work it girl! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4584 A little more to the left! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4585 Okay, tell me more about the perp. Any identifying scars or tattoos? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4586 If you want color, that’s the SuperSaver package, and it’ll be five piles of dung. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4587 That’s the best you can do? It looks like an aardvark. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4588 Here are the directions. You are a long way from India. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4589 The Art Students League in New York. Where did you learn to be sarcastic? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4590 This is going to be very valuable when I'm extinct! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4591 Quit Moving! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4592 That Paleo diet has really brought out your tufts 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4593 Don't worry so much about how your skull dome and fat hump look. I can fix those in post-processing. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4594 I'm not that fat! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4595 CaveVinci's MammothLisa 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4596 You bet your ivories this is a mammoth story for the ages! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4597 No really, I remember when I was that small! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4598 I'm more of a conceptual artist really but you have to take the work where you can get it! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4599 Stop flattering yourself, it's just pictionary practice. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4600 I already drew it bigger. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4601 I ALWAYS paint your good side! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4602 Next up we’ll learn to paint a volcano after this message from our sponsor ... 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4603 A rare Banksy viewing, 35000 AD 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4604 My legs look truncated. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4605 I can never capture your enigmatic smile. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4606 If you want your tusks to look bigger, maybe you should lose some of that junk in your trunk. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4607 I can't write so I'm drawing my own obituary. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4608 Relax. The bone brush adds ten pounds. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4609 I'll call it: 'Woolly Mammoth Near Fire.' 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4610 A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT, IT'S YOUR BETTER SIDE. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4611 Wait until Leonardo sees this one!!! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4612 Could you make me look a tad thinner, please. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4613 Don't give me that, "I can't remember." excuse. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4614 You say "Draw me less woolly" but I hear "My self-confidence is tied to my outer appearance." 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4615 What the hell is an "Instagram Filter"? 1.1846 0.06896 65 58 2 5
4616 Hold still, we're losing the light! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4617 Behold the masterful depiction of your inner cartoon character. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4618 For heaven's sake hold still! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4619 Hold still. The chef gets very upset when the specials menu is blurry. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4620 I know it's not exact. I'm what you might call an impressionist. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4621 No, I’m not going to make you look fat. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4622 Today we're going with a new style called "primitivism." 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4623 What feature do you want to forget? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4624 What? You don't remember her like that? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4625 Would you please curl your nose i a little? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4626 Can you at least PRETEND to be active? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4627 Aw c'mon, you don't look fat! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4628 Say 'Bamboo'. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4629 Yes, I can chisel it longer 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4630 Try to look natural. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4631 I am trying to make you look more soft and gentle. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4632 Yes, I’ll draw you like one of my French girls. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4633 Why is he defending Donald? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4634 Like? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4635 Art of the Mammoth II 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4636 Modeling does seem like a better career path than zoo work. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4637 Keep moving and I'll get me a new model! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4638 No. It does not need a donkey to even things out. I vote no on that. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4639 Stop squirming! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4640 It's not my fault that you have 'too much junk in the trunk'. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4641 It's evolution and, yes, it's a difficult concept, but eventually it will come to you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4642 I think I may switch to landscapes. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4643 My right side is my best side ?? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4644 Strike the pose, dammit. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4645 I'm doing my best; it's a right-handed brush. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4646 Tilt you head a little to the right and hold your trunk up higher. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4647 "Tusk, tusk" is a pretty insulting comment. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4648 I didn't invent fire so you could phone this session in, dammit. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4649 Come on! Have you forgotten how to smile? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4650 If you don't stop moving, I'm going to hire an aurochs. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4651 This would be much easier with an Iphone. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4652 Well, at least two dimensional doesn’t make you look fat. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4653 Again, don’t move! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4654 Would you turn your tusk a little to the left? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4655 Whaddya mean I got the eyes wrong!!! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4656 I really don't care what your good side is! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4657 Stop looking so primitive! And, next time, shave. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4658 You moved. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4659 I'm going to make you famous. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4660 Oh, for posterity's sake, would you please stand still! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4661 Trunk forward. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4662 Trust me. You will never be known as `Wooly Little' in a tweet storm. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4663 If I don't draw the picture no one will believe this is how you look after a shave 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4664 Fire. High art. Civilization. The bomb. Wait for it, you’ll see.... 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4665 Mondays are your days to spray down the cave. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4666 Of course I'm disappointed. I expected you to draw my good side. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4667 I know. I thought Annie Leibovitz was going to be here also 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4668 Bigger tusks . . . ? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4669 Jenny, I think we just invented an aphorism. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4670 Stand very still. The tusks are the hardest part. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4671 You moved - oh boy, did you move. Why didn't you tell me you needed a break? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4672 Trust me! I paint what I see. You have small ears! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4673 No duckface please 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4674 No, this is a caricature of you. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4675 In a million years when they find this you'll be famous. Now hold still please. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4676 I ask for woolly and you bring me bald. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4677 I tweaked the exposure. Want me to change the saturation? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4678 I was hoping they'd send over someone a bit more chic, but at least we've got a sturdy build to work with. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4679 I always take a picture of my food. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4680 I'm not going to make it longer. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4681 I said to gesture towards your PEANUTS! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4682 I'm trying to make you look fluffy, not fat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4683 This fire will make you look so much hotter in this painting 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4684 Yes, I realize you will never forget if I mess this up. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4685 Relax, I will make your tusks longer and whiter when I'm complete! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4686 Jeez, just give me 10 more minutes! 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4687 Mammoth, the wall loves you! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4688 Remind me, how many aardvarks were in that recipe? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4689 Mastodrawn. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4690 Don't blame me, they say the cave adds 5 tons... 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4691 We can be here forever as far as I'm concerned! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4692 I call it 'art.' It will be mammoth. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4693 Now's not a time to get horny, can't you see I am working? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4694 No, I will not Photoshop it to make you thinner. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4695 WORK IT! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4696 Meanwhile in the republican caucus room... 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4697 Could you make that smile a bit more enigmatic? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4698 No, I wouldn't say "mammoth". 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4699 I turn my back for a second and the beaver is gone? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4700 Look! This isn’t for your girlfriend, it is for posterity! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4701 After you've been through art school, you can criticize my technique. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4702 You look very extinct. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4703 Hey !, Dumbo... Stay still. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4704 Look, when they invent money, I promise I'll pay you. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4705 It's winter fat! You'll lose it in the spring. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4706 Hold your tusk for just a while longer. We haven't invented film yet. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4707 "I don't care if your rocking motion is a characteristic, stand still. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4708 The trunk is UP for good luck. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4709 Hold still - I’m trying to catch your bone structure. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4710 Every time you move, I can't capture the firelight! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4711 "Because frames haven't been invented yet, dumbo!' 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4712 I’m sorry. The wall adds 10 pounds. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4713 I'm really not very good at tusks. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4714 Don't worry.It's a likeness .Future people will not think you had very small "tusk's" 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4715 Lower your tusks a couple inches. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4716 No No No! I asked the modeling agency for a wholly mammoth and you are what they send me? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4717 Did you just fart,or was that earthquake? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4718 Don’t worry, I will add #nofilter 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4719 See, I'm putting you on the lease! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4720 You're casting a shadow. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4721 Keep that trunk up! I'm not finished yet! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4722 Stay still until I finish! If I can complete your “Elephant in the Room” portrait, you’ll never be forgotten! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4723 Framing is not an option. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4724 Geico commercial. Relax. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4725 I discovered fire and art in rapid succession. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4726 Look! This is a female, and you are a male! Get it! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4727 Could you get a move on Ogg, I was a mammoth when you started painting. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4728 Get the janitor! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4729 It's that mysterious smile of yours that's so hard to capture. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4730 If you want to keep working for peanuts, stop fidgeting! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4731 Stand still,already! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4732 There was a problem loading the caption. Retrying (3 attempts left) 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4733 I'm going to sell it to a Saudi prince for $450 million. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4734 Wadda mean it's not a very good likeness ? I tell ya in 20,000 years they're going to eat this right up. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4735 Wipe that smirk off your face. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4736 I'm sorry, but you really are THAT fat 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4737 Enough with the elephant jokes; I want an elusive smile! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4738 Wait until I add the tusks, I promise you will not look fat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4739 It’s called a “selfie.” Now stand still while I run over there...oh wait. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4740 You’ve got to stay still! If you wanna be the first ‘Elephant in the Living Room’, you need to stand patiently. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4741 Pee on your own time. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4742 Never lose those tusks... they happen to be gorgeous. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4743 Quit your bellyaching; I told you I don't paint the tusks until the end! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4744 Don't blame me! The wall adds 10 pounds. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4745 What makes you think you have a 'good' side? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4746 The paleo diet did wonders for your body. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4747 Im tired of cave cartoons. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4748 That's ok, I can photoshop the tusks! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4749 Yes, I'm going to draw the room next. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4750 Don't be an ass. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4751 I’ts not my fault if you have small hands. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4752 Don't look! I'm not finished yet. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4753 Always the Critic! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4754 are you comfortable in that position? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4755 The only left to do now is to sign it. There..."Master Don." 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4756 Not exactly what I expected when I requested an all-natural female model! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4757 I’m almost done. Can’t you hold it? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4758 It's representational art, dumbass. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4759 Sorry, cave drawings are forever. I can’t use my artistic license to minimize the tusks. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4760 It's not an exact likeness. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4761 Hold still, or in a million years, you’ll be a detested symbol. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4762 No, I won't enhance the tusks! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4763 Don't move. I've got the lighting just right! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4764 I call this a selfie. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4765 ... so the profession is 'influencing'? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4766 I may be no daVinci but you're hardly a Mona Lisa yourself! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4767 I said stay still, this is for posterity! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4768 Hold still. This is where the mirror would be if we had one. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4769 You must stand still! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4770 Yes, your tusks are bigger than your brother’s. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4771 Hold still will you! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4772 move your head a little to the left so the light reflects off your tusks. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4773 I still say there’s a better chance of staying relevant if I leave them out... 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4774 What do you mean, “It makes me look fat”? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4775 Could you make my trunk a little longer? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4776 The tusks would be easier in profile. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4777 Elephant evolution: “What do you mean you can’t remember? It’s your mother. That’s something you should never forget!” 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4778 It's called 'foreshortening', mister art critic. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4779 I do know I only have one whack at this. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4780 Drop your left tusk a little. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4781 If you don’t lose the attitude, it’s gonna be mouse time. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4782 Your tusks are slimming. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4783 I told you to try the paleo diet. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4784 This will be worth big bucks when I'm gone. Which will probably be soon based on your body language. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4785 I just realized I can’t sell this painting unless I sell my place. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4786 Just another few minutes of patience and we will have your essence preserved for for at least a millennia or so. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4787 For the last time, I'm not going to make the tusks "bigger". 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4788 A picture is worth a thousand herds! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4789 Cheat towards the light, I need your good side 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4790 Can you add a bit to the trunk? I just got of the pool. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4791 I call it "Sunday in the Cave With Jumbo" 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4792 I know it makes you look fat, have you looked in a mirror recently? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4793 Yes, I know that you find your tusks unbecoming, but as an artist I must draw what I see. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4794 The wall adds 10 pounds! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4795 I didn't expect all this attitude from a soon-to-be-extinct mammal. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4796 You call that a trunk?? What are you.....a Neanderthal.. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4797 Hold that pose and don't move. And please stop smiling. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4798 Stand still so I can finish your portrait! You don’t want the future to think that we were all Democrats, do you? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4799 We'll add the hunters later in post. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4800 Good, darling. You look positively endangered! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4801 Are you saying you don't remember what your lost baby's ears look like? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4802 No, it may not look just like you, but I'm trying to capture your soul. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4803 If you can just hold that pose a little longer, you'll be known for all posterity. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4804 We discussed this. I can't pay you with anything tangible, like food. You are doing this for the exposure. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4805 I think I really captured your trunk. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4806 Don't. Move. I'll scratch it for you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4807 No, I can't upload this to Tinder. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4808 Quit asking me if you look fat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4809 ... aaaaaand, freeze. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4810 Hold still; I'm trying to capture those two worthless projections. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4811 Sorry but I'm just a child portraitist. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4812 I'm only doing this because the camera hasn't been invented. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4813 Keep your tusks still so that I get them just right. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4814 I'll have our editor retouch your wrinkles. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4815 Warning! The following scenes may be disturbing to some viewers. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4816 Well, you're not the ideal model either! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4817 She may not be a looker but she has a heart of ivory. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4818 We have to do it again; your trunk was sticking straight out. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4819 Left profile is definitely the best look for you. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4820 Years from now, you will still be remembered. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4821 What did you expect you'd look like ... I'm an orthodontist not an artist. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4822 It's only a Snapchat, Heather! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4823 Sorry, I can't let you see it until it's finished. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4824 Would you take a moment to trumpet? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4825 "I am going to title this Wooly Bully". 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4826 Hold still, dammit. I'm trying to get the perspective. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4827 Don't worry, we'll airbrush out the cellulite. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4828 For me, painting is about more than just capturing your likeness on a cave wall – it’s about telling your story. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4829 This is a cave! We can't change the floor plan to fit you. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4830 Next! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4831 No, I’m not going to paint your ear bigger. And yes, that IS what it looks like on your head. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4832 Whaddayamean...it's not realistic? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4833 How did I possibly ever sexually harass you? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4834 You complain now about its accuracy but in a million years a guy named Picasso will give you three tusks and five eyes. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4835 This is your baby picture 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4836 Hey, 'shit-for-brains,' how many times to I have to tell you, it's just a drawing! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4837 Now, smile! – or it's back to the circus. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4838 Can’t you remember to stand still? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4839 This will be a lot better if you take EVERYTHING off 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4840 It's just a nursery decoration! - Who's gonna care in ten thousand years?! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4841 We call it...losing weight. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4842 Is THIS how that phrase started? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4843 “I think you would look much better with bigger ears”. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4844 Uuggah! Mmmduf hadooo! hah, hah. (Sure. I can make your truck stiff! Ha, ha.) 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4845 No, this drawing does not make you look fat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4846 And then we'll have a "by invitation only" reception, complete with heavy hors d'oeuvres like deviled pterodactl eggs, and, pardon the expression, braised mammoth patties. And for entertainment, maybe a new age rock band! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4847 It's simple, just try it: you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out . . . 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4848 For crying out loud, will you just stand still? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4849 I want you to look more fearsome and delicious. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4850 Hey, if it was perfect then future anthropologists would know how brilliant we are and we don't want to scare them! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4851 Don't even THINK about snorting that trunk full of water on the fire. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4852 Stop complaining, or I’ll draw AND quarter you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4853 Yes, this is your good side! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4854 Nude, or with the wooly coat? 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4855 Don't be offended. I am trying to be more bipartisan. So, I am drawing the donkey next. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4856 THIS is what you dragged me in here for? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4857 How Trump's followers insist creationism works , you draw something on the wall and it just shows up. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4858 Please stay still. Almost done. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4859 No, this will not make your butt look too big. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4860 Don't worry, we'll clean it up in post. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4861 Stop moving so much! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4862 Size doesn’t matter 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4863 Have you looked in a mirror recently? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4864 It does capture your essence. When you absorb everything about the image, you will feel it. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4865 OK, OK. So I'm no Thomas Eakins! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4866 For the last time, I did NOT make you look mammoth! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4867 Just hold it there for another eon.... 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4868 Don't sneer at me. It's my "impression" of what you look like. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4869 I just got this weird sensation that I'm now a big disappointment to my father. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4870 It doesn't speak to me either. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4871 Stop fidgeting! I'm giving you immortality. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4872 Just think of it as you -- only more evolved. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4873 I told you! I am sure this is your good side. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4874 No, I'm not going to eat you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4875 If you don‘t stand still, you‘ll only be remebered as a regular elephant. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4876 Now comes the name. You like "rhino"? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4877 what? people want something real because as Kendrick Lamar said ''i'm so sick and tired of the photoshop''. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4878 I specialize in nudes. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4879 No, I don't think your trunk makes your tusks look big. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4880 Do you think I've got too much junk in the trunk? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4881 For the last time.....give me that haunting smile. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4882 And so began the Ted Talk... 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4883 She'e beautiful, why did you swipe left? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4884 I'll get to that question on the next slide 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4885 New Yorker Website has been broken for days - can't sign in. We’ll be right back We are busy fixing the website. Please try again soon. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4886 Nose up! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4887 To be or not not to be 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4888 Stand still while I finish your tusks! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4889 Okay, so I'm not an abstract expressionist. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4890 Now it just needs a caption...what's that? A contest you say? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4891 If we're caught off guard by a flood there'll be a picture of you for the anthropologists. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4892 You know, this could be a masterpiece if you'd give me an enigmatic smile. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4893 A little more trunk, a little less tusk please! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4894 Will you stand still, please? The judges will be here any minute and I am struggling to get the third dimension! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4895 What do you expect? This fire won't last forever. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4896 Ok, I get the point. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4897 No, I am not minimizing your importance; I'm just trying to give it some depth by making it look like you are standing back a few feet. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4898 How the picture menu was invented. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4899 Stomp once for filter, twice for no filter. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4900 This picture is going to be mammoth! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4901 I know, I know. Who gonna see it. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4902 Try not to look so evolved 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4903 Trust me, I’m painting as you will become. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4904 Don't worry, the cave adds 10 pounds. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4905 Stop complaining. Elephants are supposed to have wrinkles. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4906 I know it makes you look like a coward. Don't worry--no one will recognize you in a million years. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4907 "Street Art Rocks"! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4908 if you don’t like it, just be glad I’m not a cubist! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4909 Now smile !! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4910 Let's get crazy. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4911 All my friends make me look at pictures of their food...just returning the favor. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4912 Again? OK, just make sure you flush after you're finished! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4913 If I get the tusks right, will you let me go? 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4914 It's called artistic license! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4915 Images appear larger in the rear view mirror. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4916 “Yes, I’m sure this is your ‘good side’”. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4917 And I'm telling you it IS your best side. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4918 Could you please manage a more enigmatic smile? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4919 I love how it makes my tush look so small... 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4920 Don't gore the messenger, you've gained a few pounds. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4921 This drawing will be no small tusk. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4922 Hey! I can only do so much with shrinking the junk in your trunk 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4923 No, I don't think lefties will die out before you do. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4924 If you don't mind I am going to make your ears larger. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4925 My right tusk isn't that big in person, is it?" 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4926 My wife said I can only color in my man cave. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4927 Is this for your wife? 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4928 Please turn left and face the opening, I'm trying to do a profile. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4929 So knock it off with the "Tsk, Tsk," stuff already! I'm just getting ready to add the tusks. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4930 Its not my fault, lose a couple pounds! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4931 Might as well make me look good without the tusks. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4932 Aye, a photographic memeory wouldn't be out of line. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4933 If you lift your head up slightly you’ll look younger 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4934 Hold that nose, I mean pose. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4935 Rembrandt's Early Work 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4936 Assume the bees-upon me pose already! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4937 It's called 'artistic license', Trevor. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4938 Stand still! This will be frozen in time long before you're frozen in ice! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4939 It's a dating wall. Chicks today don't dig big tusks. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4940 Closer... closer... 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4941 No, I do not need glasses ! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4942 Vim. Give me more vim. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4943 Stay. I said - Stay! 1.1818 0.06445 66 58 4 4
4944 I want to capture your playful side. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4945 Lift your trunk up, please. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4946 It's the tusks. They're always difficult. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4947 What part of "forgive and forget" don't you understand? 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4948 You maybe extinct next week but art lasts forever 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4949 Hey, I dialed back the overbite, but baby-blue eyes is going too far. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4950 Hey, if you have a complaint, tell it to Plato. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4951 So you see, you are an elephant and I am not. It's just not going to work 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4952 In about a million years this will be known as a “selfie.” 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4953 Full face or profile? 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4954 I said " Don't move! " 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4955 In 100,000 years this will be priceless! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4956 Hold still.this for your future budies Hold still this for the next generation. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4957 Oh well, it's the thrill you'll never know! We can't all be on the cover of the Rolling Stone. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4958 OK, next time I'll draw you en plein air 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4959 Trust me, the left side is your best profile. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4960 Downsizing does not get it. I am just saying. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4961 That's how art works Al, no one buys it 'til you're extinct! 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4962 I'm serious, just keep it up 'til I'm done 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4963 Cheese, just say it. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4964 Hold still, you'll end up looking like an emu. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4965 Hold that pose! You never know, one day this may be the only way anyone can see an elephant. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4966 As a matter of fact I do know in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4967 I'm sorry, but the lighting in here is very primitive. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4968 You haven't the temperament to be an artist and it would be hell to take off one of those ears. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4969 Who knew this Paleolithic figure drawing class would be so...authentic. Last time I use Groupon! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4970 Thanks for shaving. You're a trend setter baby! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4971 Look, it’s a stylistic choice. It’s not supposed to be realistic. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4972 I'm telling you, your nose is like this. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4973 I want you to draw me like one of your woolly girls ... 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4974 Now give me angry eyes…ANGRY EYES! Yes!! YES!! 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4975 I said like one of your French girls... 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4976 You might remember everyting, but I don't. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4977 An elephant never forgets, but I get the one who needs to study.... 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4978 I ain't no Leonardo? Well, you ain't exactly Madam Giocondo either, wise guy. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4979 When I've finished, how bout we get one without those tusks? 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4980 Draw me like one of your French girls. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4981 I don't think I will be able to draw the thing that happens next. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4982 I told you to get my good side. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4983 Is there an "f" in elephant? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4984 Hold still and behave--this is the Introduction to Art History! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4985 Look- It's not my fault you lost all that hair. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4986 Stop the whining, already. You’ll thank me in 100,000 years! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4987 No, making your tusks bigger is not going to make you look slimmer. 1.1791 0.06354 67 59 4 4
4988 Don't worry, the French are going call them' jolie laide'. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4989 Hurry up! I can feel myself fossilising 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4990 You will thank me 10.000 years from now..... 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4991 Doth peanut gallery patron, protest? 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4992 Thanks for stopping by, but I need to report what I saw. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4993 I'm thinking Smithsonian. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4994 Of course, we'll share the proceeds. You get all the peanuts. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4995 You should model for a political party!! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4996 Werner’s gonna love this! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4997 Show me where he touched you. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4998 You’ll do until a cuter quadruped evolves. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4999 Haters will say it’s photoshop. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5000 It’s a bit on the nose. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5001 Evidence that fire came before art. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5002 Because I’m out of frigging gray, that’s why! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5003 It's a miniature, not a shrew. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5004 Wait, what does “paint me like one of your French girls” even mean? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5005 It's my interpretation so just forget about it. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5006 I'll never forget you are mans' best friend. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5007 That's okay, I guess, but can you give me wistful, with a hint of melancholy. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5008 Draw me like one of your *woolly* mammoths. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5009 Perfect! Now how do I swipe right? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5010 And now for the finishing tusk... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5011 Don’t blame me, the cave wall adds 1,000 pounds. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5012 ...look, if you want to get retro about it, Leonardo was a lefty too... 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5013 I knew I should have brought my selfie stick 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5014 Believe me.I captured your best side. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5015 Relax. Tusks always look shorter in pictographs. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5016 That's called artistic freedom - I just made you look younger and more dashing! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5017 Can you at least photoshop my nose? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5018 I’m really sorry. I meant to say painting, not menu. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5019 "It's an expression of the inner you. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5020 T*sk, t*sk. Not mammoth enough for you? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5021 All right, I'll let you do the tusks. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5022 Primitive art exhibits pretty much always ended with a barbecue. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5023 Lift up your trunk 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5024 Truthfully, what I'd really like to do is direct." 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5025 How am I supposed to capture your essence in these primitive work conditions? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5026 Yeah, I know, but it's hard to do because they only make these walls for right handed artists. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5027 I was born in the wrong era, painting fruits is more my style 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5028 Stay still or no peanuts. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5029 Make the tusks look bigger? Seems like a mammoth might be overcompensating for something. But that's evolution for you... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5030 Just in case you go extinct 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5031 Yeah, I went to art school. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5032 Your turn. I hold spear. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5033 Just think, in 10,000 years you'll be priceless. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5034 Don't worry about the missing tusks, no one will care in a million years! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5035 You’ll be bigger in next week’s tweet. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5036 You agent didn't tell you? This is for the menu. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5037 Are you going to remember this? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5038 Do we have to do the wedding pictures now? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5039 Early Pictionary 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5040 Hold still - in 40,000 years you may end up in The New Yorker. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5041 Relax. This is modern art, ok? It's interpretive. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5042 I told the agency, 'Sabertooth'! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5043 Oh all right, how can you tell when an elephant has been in the ice cave? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5044 Long walks on the beach? No, let's try to keep your profile credible. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5045 If they look from the side they can see your smile 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5046 Tired?! I thought you were 'the fittest.' 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5047 Trunk back up, please. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5048 Try the sitting pose next. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5049 Do you know the left eye is bigger than the right? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5050 So I'm left handed, so what? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5051 Go somewhere else! I don't do life sizes! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5052 With global warming on the horizon, this will be your ancestor! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5053 It's pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre pre-modern 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5054 Stop fidgeting! You’re messing me up! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5055 Someday you'll be renowned as 'The Elephant In The Cave.' 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5056 When we are able to mix more paint I can draw a larger image. But for now, he's the little elephant on the cave wall, and you're the big elephant in the room. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5057 For the last time, it does not make your legs look fat. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5058 Today’s lesson is about going into labor. Take several deep breaths and push hard. And, voila, before you know it, this is what you’ll see. Any questions? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5059 I promise I'll be done in 10. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5060 Don't look so glum. It is the best I can do under these conditions. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5061 Two bananas an hour when the Lascaux models got one? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5062 Payment in advance in case one of us goes extinct. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5063 Can't you wait till I finish to have a look. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5064 Can you add some hair? I'm not as woolly as I used to be. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5065 Hey, I told you, turn to the side. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5066 Your password is? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5067 Hold still so that I can capture the fire light in your eyes. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5068 No, it's not time yet for a peanut break. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5069 Get it up and SMILE! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5070 Don't worry, I'll get your good side. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5071 I know I'm supposed to keep a record of our daily life, but choices for an emotional support animal are getting ridiculous. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5072 Give me more! Make love to the cave wall! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5073 If you want a good portrait, I need you to stay frozen for as long as you can. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5074 CARVED IN STONE 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5075 But if I don't paint it in the middle of the cave, no one will notice it! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5076 With or without tusks. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5077 Well, of course, I’m going to fix your teeth. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5078 I'm trying for a very contemporary take on prehistory. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5079 I'm almost done. So how soon do you lower my taxes? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5080 That way, if you die in a mass extinction, people will still know what mammoths looked like. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5081 I know, my human inferiority complex may have weighed in on it a little... 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5082 Ok, I’ve heard of you, the mastodon in the room 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5083 What? And you’ve used artificial lighting before? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5084 Keep your trunk straight your letting it droop again. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5085 What? Think you can do better? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5086 Let's look a little more perky. This mammoth sitting is just about over. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5087 Is this drawing unforgettable or what? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5088 No, give me bigger tusks. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5089 I'm gonna be waiting here for a thousand years before this guy figures out how to paint with any perspective. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5090 The stone adds 10 pounds 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5091 Will you stand still? I'm trying to capture your trunk. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5092 You can go to the river to cool off, when I am done. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5093 No, the firelight does not make you look fat. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5094 I know, I know, I'm a hard tusk master. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5095 Take a little Titanium 'Hwhite and we start to make out a pretty little pachyderm. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5096 Keep still! Yes some elephants are white elephants 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5097 I have to do it this way because we haven't invented mirrors yet! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5098 Am I high or are you? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5099 Is that really what you think my butt looks like? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5100 Umm- Sorry, but you made my tusks too small. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5101 Please keep your tusks still. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5102 Finally! If I waited any longer I would be extinct by now! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5103 Don’t worry, I won’t forget the tusks. And, no, I am not going to make them bigger. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5104 I thought you said that was your good side. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5105 This is the Pleistocene era, you're extinct, bitch. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5106 What?! The cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5107 Be excited. Your likeness will live on in representing humanity’s shared political views at this point in time. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5108 I assumed that you would be flattered being included in my epic hunting story. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5109 I'm into downsizing! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5110 No, it's called your "trunk," not your "junk. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5111 Don’t gimme that look! Nobody wants to see an elephant with prehensile dysfunction. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5112 Stop blinking- you're ruining the picture. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5113 So it's not representational! In 5000 years the critics will love it. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5114 You don't have a good side ("have" italicized) 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5115 If you want an impressionist version, go see Vlad! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5116 I told my father, artists are never fully appreciated until they’re long gone anyway. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5117 Hold still. I need to capture this on my wall. My friends will never believe how mammoth you were. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5118 Hold still, god damn it! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5119 I’m tired of your inaction. I can’t wait for the donkey to evolve. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5120 The brush is for painting you. The fire is for cooking you later. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5121 You're really one-of-a-kind. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5122 You have the patience of Zog. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5123 If you don't like the colors, go invent the color wheel yourself! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5124 First trumpeting, now a head shot? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5125 Sorry. The horns make you look snooty. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5126 You may not care about posterity, but the human race does! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5127 This is my early work. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5128 You kidding? Do I look like a starving artist to you? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5129 This is the best I can do until the cable guy gets here in 40,000 years. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5130 I thinik I just invented Impressionism. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5131 Man, think BIG and kick ass! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5132 "FUNNY." I said, "FUN-NY." If you can think of a FUNNY caption, then I'll put your name on the wall. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5133 If you don’t like how the Campfire Portrait Mode is turning out, we will have to wait until morning to try Sunrise Portrait Mode. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5134 No, I will not make your trunk petite. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5135 What do you mean it's too small? It'll look bigger if you get closer! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5136 Would it kill you to turn left? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5137 Maybe I should try Abstract Expressionism. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5138 Sexier! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5139 Is 'an elephant joke in the room' too meta? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5140 Please just the truncated version. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5141 Well where do you suggest I take art lessons then?! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5142 Draw me like one of your prehistoric mammoths. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5143 Don't look at me like that! What do you expect from charcoal? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5144 Course it's passport approved. Biometric, innit? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5145 I'm myopic, I see you as big from far but far from big! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5146 Why the long face? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5147 Oh, the things I will do for affordable housing! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5148 No, no - I don't just love you for your tusks! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5149 No this is not going to be to scale as we are both running out of time here 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5150 No, I'm not going to include the tusks... they'll ruin the image. And besides, evolution will eliminate them over time... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5151 No! You can’t take another potty break. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5152 You could at least snarl a bit for me! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5153 ...Don't try anything stupid pal, you're being recorded. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5154 You're still the only elephant in the cave! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5155 You may be my muse..... but please stand still! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5156 It's no peanuts for you if you can't hold that pose. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5157 Young Rembrandt discovers chiaroscuro in portraiture 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5158 I thought a picture of your mother would make you feel right at home. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5159 No I can't draw from memory. Why would you think I could? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5160 Technically, it's not a "selfie" if someone else does it. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5161 Swipe left? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5162 I find mastodons to be the most regal of the pachyderms. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5163 Keep still! Before you're extinct. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5164 Work it girl. You've got some junk in the trunk. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5165 Don't worry. I'll use a filter that makes you look less woolly. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5166 "Mastadonia For The Mastadons?" What kind of campaign am I working for, here? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5167 The lighting in this particular cave brings out the color in your eyes. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5168 You really should be better at this after 30,000 years of practice. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5169 I paint, then YOU try to guess what I’m painting, and vice versa.” “Jeeez! Wally, it’s not like we’re trying to invent ‘a circular object that revolves on an axle beneath another object, to aid the ease of movement over terrain’. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5170 The first GOP headquarters. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5171 waddya mean your tusks are hot ? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5172 ... and head a little more to the right, please. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5173 Paint me like one of your éléphants. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5174 Can you roast a few more peanuts. This work is tiring. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5175 All I'm hearing now is 'tusk-tusk' from the peanut gallery. But in 10,000 years they'll be calling it 'Art'. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5176 Just who do you think is going to expropriate your image? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5177 Little Marco Rubio, 2016 A.D. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5178 Hold still, I am trying to get the curve of your tusks. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5179 Now listen up. This is stuff you'll need to remember. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5180 No, I'm sorry. I don't work for peanuts! 1.1774 0.06714 62 55 3 4
5181 Alright, alright I'll make the tusks longer... I'm not Michaelangelo you know! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5182 I'm not done yet. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5183 You’ll receive more right-swipes if you let me include a sabretooth tiger 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5184 You should have told me you had a favorite side. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5185 If you want to be immortal you must stand still. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5186 So wait...then we fill out a profile and hit send? 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5187 Hold it-I think you're going to like this one 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5188 I pay you to keep still! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5189 For the last time, I am not making your ears to big. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5190 I'm adding hair, you'll look better. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5191 I cannot give you a copy. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5192 No, I’m not drawing your trunk three inches longer. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5193 Tsk, tsk! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5194 Hold still. I need five more minutes. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5195 Don't move 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5196 "You know, when I model at the other class they pay me 7bucks an hour". 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5197 Did you have braces as a kid? Those tusks are perfect! Or are they crowns? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5198 I don’t know how to spell that! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5199 You are so photogenic 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5200 No, I can't draw this cave wall picture on the side of a milk carton...hello...Pleistocene! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5201 There's just so much photoshopping I can do! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5202 Don't look at me that way; I'm still learning 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5203 Don't move! Fantastic! That's just the image we republicans have been looking for. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5204 I call it "art", and it's not supposed to be life-size! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5205 I said “Freeze!” 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5206 Oh no, the mammoth has photo-bombed the family portrait again! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5207 So far I’ve got woolly hair and mammoth build. Do you remember any other details? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5208 I've seen asses hold a better position. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5209 Believe me. This painting will be here long after you're gone. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5210 Give me a more 'Whither the mammoth?'expression. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5211 He who smelt it, dealt it. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5212 For the last time, no - this is not the menu! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5213 I’ll leave out the tusks so the poachers won’t recognize you. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5214 Could you please quit flapping your ears for just 5 minutes? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5215 It is you, just without that toothy grin. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5216 Hey, can you hurry up? I don't have all Stone Age! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5217 Helga, bring me a #2 sable brush 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5218 Draw me like one of your french mammoths. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5219 Does this make you look too fat? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5220 No! Your other trunk. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5221 Hold still! I’m just about done... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5222 Not mammoth enough for you? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5223 You think you're so smart. Why didn't you finish it? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5224 OK, now hold your trunk high over your tusks. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5225 No, I'm not going to eat you afterward; now would you hold still? 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5226 To go or namaste? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5227 Your nose is that big! I will not sacrifice my artistic realism for your vanity. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5228 Hold still! You might remember me, but I won’t remember you! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5229 You'll look best in ivory. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5230 Whatdya mean it isn’t realistic! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5231 I can only draw what I see. You ARE big and hairy. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5232 It's permanent paint that lasts for ages no need to carve in stone ! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5233 Did I portray too much junk in your trunk? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5234 Dumbo, you're blocking the light with your trunk. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5235 Stand still! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5236 You control your privacy settings. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5237 I'm sorry it doesn't look like you, but I've only taken the one class. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5238 Can you lift up your leg? I want to anatomically correct here. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5239 You seem unmoved by my first amendment defense. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5240 You asked for it sans tusks... remember? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5241 I know. I'm not done yet. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5242 Think of it as evolving, not balding 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5243 I’ve evolved to working with plus-sized models. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5244 Pay me a honking big commission, then you'll get honking big tusks. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5245 Your memory skills may be impeccable, but your storytelling skills are a little lacking. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5246 Have you had tusk augmentations? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5247 This is the worst portrait he's done of me yet. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5248 Can you please stand still? This is a new form of art. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5249 I'd do linear perspective, but it's just so Renaissance. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5250 Oh, come on ... SMILE! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5251 Now try to remember....one day you will become the great mascot for a herd of dinosaurs! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5252 So what if I got your trunk wrong! In 20,000 years, no ones gonna care. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5253 Don't worry. I'll make sure I add the tusks. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5254 I am not going to draw any happy trees, so just stop asking! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5255 Relax. Keeping it small increases the chance that a future political entity will adopt it as their icon, and you'll be immortalized as as a symbol of any wisdom and largesse they lay claim to. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5256 Just be patient. I'll get to the tusks later. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5257 Tusk, Tusk, Tusk! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5258 I know your tusks are heavy, but keep your bloody head up or you'll look like a cheap ashtray!! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5259 I prefer abstract art but my wife wants an animal motif. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5260 Didn't you say you never forget? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5261 Bigger tits? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5262 Sorry. I like you as my model, but I just can’t see you as my muse. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5263 What'dya mean your trunk doesn't look right? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5264 For someone who never forgets, you never remember to hold still! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5265 You don’t look like your dating profile picture. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5266 Do you have an eraser I can borrow? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5267 I’m sure I won’t get the credit but I’m calling it “paleoinformographics” and it will be on cave walls everywhere soon. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5268 Well,...its an abstraction of reality that helps viewers better see reality. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5269 How many times have I told you Larry, I will not draw nudes!!!! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5270 Are you sure this is your best side? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5271 Stand still or you won’t get any peanuts 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5272 Stand still, or posterity won't recognize you! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5273 Next time I'm going with a younger model. You're getting a bit long in the tooth. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5274 Tilt the left tusk up a bit 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5275 Come on, you look so Pleistocene. Trunk up! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5276 What? It's like looking in a mirror. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5277 You are my muse. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5278 Please don't move, Ethel! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5279 We're playing 'Pin the tusks on the Mammoth' later. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5280 Swipe left? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5281 Thanks for posing for my painting. Men will know just what you look like for many moons to come. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5282 Enough about "Zendak's technique!" - I'm paying you to model, not critique. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5283 You'll be the first pet people see in the first photo album. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5284 You're fired! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5285 Look, no horns, she is perfect for you! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5286 Come on, smile! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5287 It doesn't make you look fat, it captures the essential nature of being mammoth. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5288 Don't worry I won't make you look fat. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5289 Now, all you have to do is think of a funny caption. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5290 Can you lower those tusks a bit 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5291 Cavemansplaining 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5292 Please stay still and stop waiving your trunk! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5293 You're nearly extinct, Dude, so I'm doing a wall book, 'What Happened," in the hope some future politician doesn't make the same mistakes. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5294 So you think anteaters should be the Republican mascot when all elephants are dead? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5295 It's not supposed to be you! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5296 Now it's my turn. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5297 The sabar-toothed tiger didn't complain about remaining in one position for an hour." 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5298 This is ONE Mastodon, ONE! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5299 Admittedly, this play would work better if the rest of the team hadn't gone extinct. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5300 No, there is no one with experience. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5301 It's the thought that counts. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5302 I can see you're dyslexic 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5303 Because your descendants are liable to be gone in a few million years. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5304 Hold still about another half hour and no you don't have to bare your "Genitals" 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5305 Whadya mean you forgot I taught you how to read!?! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5306 Let’s make your trunk a little bigger. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5307 Putting circular tusk on you just for ha ha's. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5308 This is my new studio, you're the first. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5309 Thanks. That’s all I need, -the art critic in the room ! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
5310 Oh, look who's got jokes! You're not going extinct that fast! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5311 Tusks are too hard to draw. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
5312 That looks like my father. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
5313 And you'll look grumpy in all of them! I call them "memoths". 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
5314 You sure you can't stay still in a more engrossing pose? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
5315 I’m a Republican, why? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
5316 I am not fat-shaming you. I'm a miniaturist. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
5317 Sorry, my color palette is only 1-bit, I don't have "grey". 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
5318 I can’t believe it, a Saber-Tooth Tiger right here in my cave! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5319 No, I'm not naming it after you, Rodney. All my works are untitled. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5320 No one needs to know about your dental issues. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5321 What more do you want? I'm a caveman. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5322 Don't worry! The stone adds ten pounds, you look great in person! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5323 I don't care if it's not your "best side"......... 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5324 Don't you dare truncate my trunk! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5325 Now no one can ignore you. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5326 You made my nose too big 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5327 What do you mean-more detail? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5328 Ok, I will paint in the tusks . But in the future there will be orthodonture. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5329 Trunk up! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5330 I painted it errect! What else do you want? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5331 It's your best side, that's why. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5332 Don't worry, I'm sure your grandparents had tusks too. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5333 How about a Mona Lisa smile. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5334 Do you think the archaeologists will like Pictionary, too? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5335 This is history in the making. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5336 Trust me. In 10,000 years this selfie will make you famous. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5337 You are going to be famous one day 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5338 There you have it...the world's first animal cracker. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5339 How, “self-aware”, can you be if you don’t think this looks like you? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5340 I call it, "Portrait of an Elephant as a young calf." 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5341 Realize, the granite adds 10 pounds. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5342 Your bones will be the historical record. This is just a meme. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5343 Trunk up and smile! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5344 I'll make you famous! They'll remember you for 20,000 years! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5345 I told you i’m not adding a flower crown filter 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5346 Can't you give me a little smile? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5347 This is the best I can do. I'm no Rembrandt! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5348 That's it, baby--sell it! 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5349 I HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES NOT TO MOVE YOUR TRUNK WHITCH TELLS ME YOU HAVE A SHORT MEMORY! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5350 ...the word nude, on the other hand, carries no such profane undertones. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5351 Hurry up, man! I am sending this stone - photo to my girlfriend for Valentine. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5352 I didn't hire you to judge me! Stand there and look pretty! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5353 Now - just a wisp of a smile. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5354 Paint me like one of your French elephants. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5355 Don't move. I'm just about to do the Tusks. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5356 Are You the Elephant in the Room? 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5357 The open flame adds 10 pounds. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5358 This is your last warning: Keep the trunk up or I'm gonna have to replace you with a stag. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5359 Enough, already! I will not make your nose look too big. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5360 Try to remember, Ellie! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5361 Be sure to get my good tusk.... 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5362 Don't worry, the wrinkles won't show in a thousand years. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5363 I've already told you--I do pastorals, not portraits. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5364 Do not move until I am done with the nose! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5365 I agree, that IS your good side. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5366 What the GOP means when they say "making America great again". 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5367 Should I format this for Instagram? 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5368 When the mammoths commission the work, the mammoths can chase the hunters. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5369 Okay, okay, I'll make the tusks mammoth. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5370 Gary's painting with merlot class was about to go from bad to worse. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5371 Wanna draw a selfie? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5372 Can you do something about my double chin? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5373 I hate it when these things want a selfie. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5374 Just act natural, ignore me, pretend I’m not even here. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5375 It's not scale so no, you do not get breaks! 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
5376 My therapist says that this will be a great way to work through some stuff and address you 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5377 Yes, your legs are short and fat. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5378 What big tusks you have Gran’ma! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5379 I know you're a Woolly Mammoth but this is really how you look! 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5380 No. really, your trunk is your best feature. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5381 I promise. We won’t change a thing. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5382 First we draw a room. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5383 What do you think? Did I capture your essence? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5384 No, I haven’t heard of the 3D graphics and the vanishing point but wait ‘til I tell Ug I’ve discovered a talking mammoth! 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5385 Is that you're best side. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5386 Come on! Eyes and tusks! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5387 Text it? I still haven't learned perspective. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5388 Tusks cost extra. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5389 Just make sure my tusks look good. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5390 "Bigger may be better but I will not make your tusks longer. I refuse to deceive posterity". 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5391 I get it -- you're a paying client -- but this is not going to get you the babes. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5392 I'm worried about you, there's a whole world out there and you're starting to replicate reality. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5393 I did not make you look fat. The brush doesn't lie! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5394 Yes, I'm doing it from your good side. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5395 Stay still, will you? You're going to be Instarock famous one day. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5396 You're NOT Neanderthal, you're mammoth, and you look like this 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5397 Hopefully this is simple enough -- the folks you're going to represent need simplicity or they get fussy, make rash decisions, vote angry red balloons with wigs into office... now, what ARE you? 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
5398 I'm calling it Wooly Mammoth Carnivorous. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5399 Listen, I'M the artist, and I'm telling you that your LEFT side is your best side!! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5400 You can smile better than that. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5401 This is my day job! 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5402 How many times do I have to tell you If you don’t keep your trunk up, I can’t draw you charging 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5403 You'll be famous. Someday an important political party will use this representation of you as their symbol. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5404 I know it's not life size, I'm trying to save wall space. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5405 Lay off! Ouk of the Forest Tribe didn't even sell his first cave painting until 35, ya know. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5406 No! I will NOT hand you the brush! I'm the artist! You're the subject. Now stand still and quit complaining! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5407 Quit complaining, no one is ever going to talk about this anyway 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5408 I am not going to sleep with you. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5409 Now give me that sultry look.... yeah baby, just like that. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5410 It won't be full scale. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5411 Honey, please, nobody will believe this unless I finish this painting! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5412 I want you to draw me like one of your French wolly mammoths. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5413 Nobody ASKED you, Francis. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5414 Hold still. I’m drawing your tusks. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5415 Tomorrow, I would like to try something a little more avante-garde. Have you ever heard of Cubism? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5416 I’m going to put a marshmallow on one tusk, tilt your head and say cheese! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5417 Your left side IS your good side. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5418 This recipe guarantees longevity 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5419 Almost done. What’s your twitter handle? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5420 "Honey...Don't move. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5421 This means "Republican". It's how we got here. It's why you're unpopular. 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
5422 Stand still and quit complaining! I told you this would be a mammoth operation! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5423 Remember--this is for your posterity! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5424 Don't worry. I only hunt mastadons in Alabama. The tuskaloosa there. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5425 Surely you remember how to smile! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5426 OK. Now what if I draw myself and a fire in the cave? 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5427 Don't worry. I'll Photoshop any blemishes. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5428 You're damn right I'm stuck in analog. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5429 Don't worry. I'm going to "cave wall" shop it. You will look great! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5430 Even at the earliest form of art school, the professors were tough on their critiques. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5431 The cave painting technique does add 10 pounds... 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5432 Hold on! Hold on! I told you before, I do not do tusks well! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5433 Man's perception sometimes misjudges size 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5434 I want you to draw me like one of your cave girls. Wearing trunks... Wearing "only" trunks. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5435 Don’t worry about your wrinkles, I’ll Photoshop them. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5436 Life-size wouldn’t fit in her yearbook. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5437 Believe me, they're gonna love this in 20,000 years. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5438 [NOTE TO EDITOR: I do not see the cartoon by John Klossner from the Feb. 5th issue I recd yesterday. It's 11:25 EST, STILL Feb. 4, so why is a new contest already up?] My Klossner caption: "The wait should only be about 25 minutes." 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
5439 Welcome to Top Chef Nepal. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5440 I'm tuckered out! Besides you're paying me peanuts! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5441 Somebody will call it 'Fake News' 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5442 I told you not to move! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5443 Do these tusks make me look fat. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5444 You don't like it? So go find one of those Tuskan artists. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5445 Turn a little to the left. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5446 Who told you to trim your tusk? 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5447 Dude, keep your head up, 40,000 years from now you'll be famous. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5448 If you put your left foreleg in front of your right you will look thinner 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5449 I left out the tusks because they are a vital part of my retirement plans. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5450 I see you as more than mammoth 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5451 I swear I won't name it "jumbo" or anything rhyming with it. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
5452 O.K. Cool it. I told you I was no Zorphmuk. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5453 Draw me like one of your cave girls 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5454 Those tusks are going to cause nothing but trouble. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
5455 You have one new FaceCave notification: Ethan liked your picture. 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
5456 Is this ok? I think the tusks are deeply alluring -- really -- I just don't want this to look like some kind of trophy. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5457 Do you think you could try to look a little more prehistoric? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5458 Oh, so you think you can do better? Hang on, I'll get you some paint. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5459 Its a still life so please don’t move 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
5460 c'mon, look alive. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
5461 For the neanderthals I need to know: are you a mammoth, mastodon, or just an elephant? 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5462 Slimmer around the edges big guy 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5463 Profile please. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5464 Until your memory improves, we will be using pictures. 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
5465 We do not have forever to do this please try to hold still. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5466 Well, I'm trying not to make you look fatter! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5467 Yes, I've captured your best side ... and, no, it doesn't make you look fat! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5468 Regardless of what you think, in 30,000 years, people will be awed. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5469 Objects on wall are closer than they appear 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5470 )Well then, why don't you draw it yourself? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5471 Hold still Ralph; this'll help teach the kids about the pre-nuke republican party. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5472 No, I'm not going to paint your tusks on this cave drawing. When I'm finished I'm going to politely ask you to extract them while I call the ivory traders, and no one will be the wiser. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5473 I can try to make your tusks look a bit smaller but, I’ll need to use a lot of green in the background. 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
5474 This isn't the easiest medium, you know. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
5475 Now, what color are her eyes? 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
5476 Sorry, I'm looking for a little less wooly a little less mammoth 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5477 Do you mind if I leave those horns off, people might find them threatening? 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5478 I’m trying to capture your good side. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5479 ..No it doesn't make you look fat. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
5480 You’re a ‘Wooly Mammoth’, so please play the part and show me some action. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
5481 This mud only makes gray paint. I don’t have ivory. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5482 Are you sure that's your best side? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5483 'This is the important part. When the volcano erupts, do not run toward it." 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5484 I did NOT say you had small tusks ! 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
5485 So you want me to try not to make your butt look big?? 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5486 And this is how you spell "elephant in the room" 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5487 Stop whining. Perspective hasn't been invented yet. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5488 I always make pictures of my food before I eat it. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5489 Are you sure that's your best side? 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5490 M-A-M-M-O-T-H. Come on, even a 3-year-old could get this! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5491 For a few stones more I'll give you a really nice set of tusks. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5492 I've finished the mammoth. Now send in the guys with spears. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5493 Some day, in the future, tourists in what will be called France, will see your picture and you will be famous. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5494 I came. I saw. I painted. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5495 Because perspective hasn't been invented yet. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5496 COULD YOU AT LEAST SMILE FOR ME?? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5497 Makeup has done a great job; when they defrost you, you'll still look terrific. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5498 Stay still, will you? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5499 I'm a post-impressionist! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5500 So now everyone's an art critic 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5501 That's right. Keep your eyes on me Rose. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5502 It's not you. The chisel adds ten pounds. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5503 I told you already! The buyout is in perpetuity. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5504 Can we go for a bit more of a dynamic pose? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5505 If you don't like it, just take a selfie for your Tinder account. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5506 Pffft...why can't I get this right? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5507 Our luck this will be worth millions only AFTER we die. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5508 Are you sure you aren't forgetting any details about the perpetrator? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5509 Pre-historic police sketch artist 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5510 What do you mean I've captured a remarkable example of modern art? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5511 I will show it at First Friday. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5512 Great! Now give me a pouty look. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5513 This will provide an historic record in case you go extinct. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5514 You're right. Your sharp and real tusks cancel out my artistic license. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5515 Now pay attention and DON'T FORGET. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5516 The time you finish that drawing, I'll be extinct. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5517 Extinction can be proven. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5518 Hold still. This is gonna kill at the office. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5519 Your left side is more becoming. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5520 Drawing - Not to scale 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5521 You know, you would look so much better with straight teeth. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5522 Are you saying I misspelled "Pleistocene?" 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5523 Oh, I suppose, like you could do better! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5524 This cave doesn't make you look fat at all. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5525 We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5526 This is Pictionary, not twenty questions! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5527 stop flapping your ears already! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5528 I hope you're not allergic to puffy paint. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5529 It would take a mammoth effort, but afterwards you would look years younger. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5530 Don't worry, it'll wash off. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5531 Listen, if you do't do this right, you will become extinct! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5532 Bad boy! No tusking the walls 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5533 Try not to move. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5534 Please stand still. I hired you for your patience, not your looks. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5535 Tusk, Tusk! Stop moving or I can't paint an accurate you. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5536 Paint me like one of yor french girls. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5537 Hold still. I have to get this done before we're extinct. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5538 Can you please stand still? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5539 #mammouthappetite #foodie 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5540 Geesh Boris, it's a caricature, not a portrait. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5541 I *only* do tasteful nudes. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5542 Let me see a half smile. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5543 Either divorce yourself from the Republican party or your tusks will be sent to China. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5544 Try to look a little more pensive. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5545 Make a quarter turn. Portrait perspective not invented yet. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5546 You’re about 18 centuries too early for Realism. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5547 OK, you still have 139 characters to go! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5548 Turn just a bit to your right, please. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5549 I know in Thailand your the one who does the painting 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5550 ''I know it's not very good but thats ok 'coz I hear that Primitive Art is going to be the next new fad" 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5551 Your tusks look better in profile. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5552 Don’t forget to draw my tusks. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5553 Don't look so wimpy! I told you keep the snout up!!! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5554 I prefer my models to be naked, not wooly. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5555 C’mon, we have to show strength — just hold up your trunk. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5556 You look gorgeous, but if it makes you feel better, I'll add a nice woolly coat. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5557 Sideways on please. I want to do your profile. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5558 You were perfect 8 lbs heavier. Don't diet for my sake. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5559 Maybe try looking up and to the left just a bit ... we’ll see if we can’t get rid of that double trunk. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5560 Hold still. I want to make it where the tusks always follow you. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5561 Ok, do you want tusks or no tusks? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5562 Fuck man, this is pretty good. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5563 Actually, Barnum was hilarous. Bailey was the problem. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5564 Jack, paint me like one of your Paleolithic girls. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5565 What if I told you that in the future YOU are the symbol associated with Armageddon? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5566 Well, Hello Dolly! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5567 Just be glad you're not in Alabama, where the tusks's are loosa. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5568 Don't be embarrassed. No one will ever see it. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5569 Give me that 'sexy thing' smile with more tooth, sweetheart! Hold it! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5570 No, I can't paint you with a gold mane. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5571 The lighting in here makes you look positively prehistoric. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5572 Please, could you stop moving. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5573 Well then YOU try and paint it more life-like, Humphrey! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5574 I know it doesn’t look much like you but, have seen the light with I’m working here? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5575 I thought I told you to stand still! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5576 This is what your ancestors looked like, before digging through deep political mire was necessary. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5577 I may be a little horny, but no need to paint me with an erection. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5578 Smile for Christ's Sake! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5579 I know...it's not woolly either..... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5580 Stay still..I'm having trouble with scale 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5581 How is it you keep forgetting to keep your chin up? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5582 My vision for your Pachyderm Portrait will have you emerging from flowers and foliage. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5583 Everyone's a critic. If I were Saint-Exupery, you would be a box. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5584 No, you can't lie down yet, unless you stay over so we can start fresh in the morning. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5585 I told you I was painting homo-erectus. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5586 I think they are fine as is, but perhaps a little more uplift will ensure you win contest as Viagra spokesperson. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5587 Is "Mastodon" spelled with one tusk or two? 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5588 May you never be forgotten, dear Wooly! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5589 I’ll paint you abstract with long flowing hair to baffle future generations. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5590 Are you sure that's your good tusk side? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5591 You have little ears, the last guy had little fingers. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5592 It’s supposed to be realistic. I can’t make your nose look smaller. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5593 I'm trying to emphasize your gentle side and anyway, it's fiction! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5594 What? Another missing mastodon!!! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5595 You know this is going to melt in about 10,0000 years 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5596 What do you mean there's too much junk in your trunk? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5597 It’s called artist’s license; this is how I see you. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5598 It's you, just a little more confident and refreshed. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5599 Trunk Up! Truk Up! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5600 Could you try something a bit more enigmatic? 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5601 Mona, stop smiling. This is serious! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5602 Have you ever considered getting a nose job? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5603 Always the Critic! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5604 It'll be worth something when I'm dead. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5605 Wait. Wait. I'll make it bigger before you eat me 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5606 Sorry about this. Humankind hasn't invented the Artistic License yet. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5607 But a show and dinner just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5608 Yeah, well you really stink! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5609 I know you are holding still, but stop looking like you are stuck in a bog! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5610 The handwriting is on the wall, Simba ! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5611 Prehistoric pictionary...subject matter was limited. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5612 Why do you draw a picture of me when knowledge stands before you? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5613 Well, I think it looks just fine and, no, I don't think it makes your face look small. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5614 Ivy, and maybe some flowers. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5615 It's more Warthog than Warhol. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5616 Oh stop being so picky! I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. Literally! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5617 I want your side profile! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5618 Could you move your head a little to the left? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5619 Did you want the tusks longer, or shorter? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5620 Quit pouting, she'll be back. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5621 Look, I'm losing my light. This isn't easy for me you know. Don't exhale on my neck like that pleeeeeeze, it's distracting. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5622 Last chance. Are you sure you want to be portrayed as tusk-less? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5623 Please do not move. I need to get the tusks right. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5624 Stop grumbling. All sitters feel the art work does not do them justice! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5625 And now for some happy trees and bushes. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5626 Young Rembrandt discovers chiaroscuro in portraiture 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5627 Let's agree that this is your best side. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5628 You are making me look too thin! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5629 I'm sorry, I'll have to charge you for another hour of modeling. I'm the breadwinner in our family. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5630 Next session, I'll explain all about vanishing point. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5631 Yes, Snorkels, I'll do my very best to capture the "full magnificence" of your tusks. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5632 Can you tilt your trunk a little more to the right? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5633 It's called pre-modernism, Hank. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5634 Great profile pic. Now in 200 characters or less, let's compose your bio. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5635 Permanent ink? It'll all be a wash in 1,000 years, the whole 'elephant in the room' thing. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5636 Size always matters 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5637 Yes, yes, I realize. Felt the poetic license was kosher. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5638 ...and you didn't think we could paint. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5639 Stop laughing! How do you expect me to draw you while you are laughing?! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5640 Trust me - size doesn't matter. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5641 When did you come from? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5642 Yes, it makes you look fat now. Relax; I can CharcoalShop it later. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5643 Stand Still Or We'll Eat You. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5644 Hold still, I'm trying to paint you like one of my French girls. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5645 Stop complaining. The paintbrush always adds a hundred pounds. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5646 Quit staring...I know it needs the tusks and sunset. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5647 I told you I am out of heather slate! And yes, I agree we lose some of the elusive tension, but the weathered charcoal offers a more spontaneous--if fleeting--supple and delicate rendering. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5648 Gerald, do I really look like that? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5649 Don't move! I finally have the lighting just right." 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5650 Stop shivering! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5651 No, just a little to the left. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5652 Hold it right there while rough in your tusks. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5653 Now take your pants off. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5654 Still Lisa, still! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5655 If this catches on we'll both be working for peanuts! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5656 I'm making the ears bigger and that's final! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5657 They may be your pride, but this is my impression; so roll up that trunk and stop complaining. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5658 Yes, it is a mammoth task. Hey, wait a minute.... 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5659 Sorry, I can only paint well when the models are nude. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5660 You should really learn to paint a selfie. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5661 Modeling fee? Forget about it! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5662 If I make you look hansdome do you promise not to use those on me? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5663 Yes, officer, THAT looks like the one who stole my private horde of Serengeti native grasses. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5664 NO, it's not your daughter! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5665 Damn it, Kevin. A little to the left, your trunk looks horrendous with this angle! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5666 Relax, I'm learning miniatures in drawing class. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5667 I'm paying you 30 pounds of tree bark an hour, so stand still! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5668 Frankly, I think referring to it as "naivist" is condescending. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5669 Enigmatic! An enigmatic smile! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5670 Don't sneeze! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5671 For the last time, keep still... And don't you even think about hosing down our light source. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5672 It's not a caricature. It's a profile in courage against all odds. Note the majesty and the sleek lines. Nothing about extinction. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5673 You have to use your imagination... 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5674 you'll never be an icon with that nose... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5675 Could you just forget about this year? I’ll remember next Valentines... It’s written in stone! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5676 One day, someone will want to recreate you. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5677 Well I'm sorry that you're upset, but I heard that firelight was flattering. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5678 Honey, I'm really busy here, would you clean Dumbo's litter box?! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5679 This is you, a century ago. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5680 Remember, you are paying extra for being naked. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5681 Here's a good fundraising idea- how about you paint? 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5682 OK, I'm an impressionist. So sue me. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5683 If you mention the size of the tusks again, I'm going to turn it into a labradoodle. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5684 I am not trying to make you look fat. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5685 Damn it, keep moving and guess who's next on the Endangered Species List 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5686 Can you at least remember to remain still? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5687 No! I said: Famous Movie... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5688 Someday Org be famous for making political party logo... 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5689 Good. Don''t smile. But do pretend there are five of me and we all have sharp spears. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5690 My painting is evolving into an abstract! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5691 Ohhh, you wanted to be painted in Mugshot view. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5692 Hold still, I don't have all day! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5693 No, those tusks don't make you look fat. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5694 If you keep making that face it just might get stuck like that. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5695 Don't you understand anything about artistic license? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5696 Turn a little to the left, please, so I can see more of that fire in your eyes! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5697 Next, I’ll add some happy little clouds. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5698 Don't get bent out of shape. I'm just following orders! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5699 Hold that smile. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5700 Do you want it with or without an enigmatic smile? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5701 Please stand still. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5702 Don't laugh. I'm having a trunk show in the fall. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5703 I wouldn't have to do this if you didn't eat my iPhone!" 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5704 I know it's freezing in here; we'll be done soon. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5705 hey who's the artist here 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5706 Let's try a Snapchat filter, shall we? Put a little fun in it. Hey, it could sell more tickets, yes? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5707 I know I am no Michelangelo. But this is for eternity - do you know what I mean? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5708 Can you at least try to look ferocious? I'm trying to keep you from becoming a circus act 10,000 years from now... 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5709 ...and I say it is your best profile! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5710 Your art is fantastic. Let's plan a mammoth opening! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5711 Will you please stand still! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5712 If I was a caricaturist, your tusks would be ginormous! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5713 If this is going to sell, I'm going to need the back view, too. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5714 Please....hold still! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5715 In a nutshell this is what you'll need to avoid extinction. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5716 Do you think you could smile just once! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5717 He says his name is Dumbo and claims to be from the future 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5718 I know an elephant never forgets. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5719 I've only got one color; blood [ouch!] red. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5720 What do you mean -- it makes you too fat? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5721 Stop pointing those things at me, I DID make your nose look smaller... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5722 Believe me, it's your best side. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5723 Beginning or End of GOP? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5724 It's not my fault, perspective won't be invented for thousands of years. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5725 I know you're a very special, best ever, larger than life chipmunk, but there's no way I'm gonna draw you full scale! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5726 I know it's small Ellie, but one day, they'll name all the sizes after you! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5727 Don’t look at me like that, whoever finds this painting would not care you if you were domesticated or not. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5728 Now—see the difference? You CAN’T mount this one!! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5729 I may have stoked the flame, but you're hornier than I remembered. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5730 Shut Up, that's a spitting image of you. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5731 Maybe a little less smile. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5732 Ok Waldo, for the 100th time, this is a profile portrait! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5733 Lay off me! It's just a draft, no one will ever see it. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5734 Look, this is harder than you think. Next time we'll switch positions. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5735 Hold the fuck still! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5736 Jiminy Christmas do it when I'm making the picture okay?!! 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5737 blood or no blood on the tusks? 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5738 You look so cute in your baby pictograph, but you’re overdue for an update. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5739 You have a good memory. It points to the outhouse. Now remember it 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5740 This filter is better. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5741 Hold still now...I'm try to get the tusks right! 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5742 I appreciate your letting me share your cave and fire. In exchange ... I'll paint you what we're calling a "Selfie". 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5743 Who is this french girl that you speak of? 1.1639 0.06686 61 55 2 4
5744 You’re from Tuskany and he’s from Nontusket. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5745 Hold still, this lighting really suits you. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5746 If you keep moving, you're going straight back to the glacier I found you in. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5747 A very early example of a portrait artist being told what to do. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5748 Please raise your hand if you have a question. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5749 I know how proud you are of your tusks... but I'm all out of paint 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5750 Some call it purgatory. We call it coworking. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5751 I do accept ivory but there's a 2% surcharge. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5752 Take off your fur. 1.1639 0.06264 61 54 4 3
5753 Stop whining, you aren't drawn so good yourself. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5754 It's better to start with a simple profile. An en-face with the perspective you want will take ages to finish... 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5755 If I have to paint over your graffiti one more time, I don’t care how close to extinction your species is, you’re outta here! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5756 In this light you look a lot smaller. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5757 It must be my lucky day. I can cross "Mammoth" off my groceries list! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5758 Turn to the right. This is a campaign poster. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5759 The chart looks prehistoric, but the returns are really good. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5760 "Hey, look! It's me! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5761 Welcome to my trunk show 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5762 Hold that trunk. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5763 Try to look beatific, and stand still! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5764 Please keep still, I ran out of peanuts. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5765 yeah dude im telling you. she looked exactly like this man. and we got it the fuck on dude. yeah, her trunk was really that big bro, no lie. 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
5766 Would you please stand still! You want me to be done by winter, right? 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5767 Hurry up and choose your metaphor--elephant in the room or Plato's cave. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5768 Think of it as an MRI confirming your pregnancy. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5769 You say you have a better way to mark your territory? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5770 Hold still! I'd like to finish before you go extinct! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5771 Good job, just stand still a little bit longer... 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5772 It lacks a human element. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5773 Don't worry..........you'll be famous around 2 million years later! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5774 “This is your best option—a photograph can add up to 10 pounds. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5775 Fire now hieroglyphics—what can future generations come up with to top that? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5776 Sorry, but the cave wall adds 10 pounds. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5777 Smile ambiguously. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5778 Hold still! I want to capture your eyes perfectly! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5779 How do you expect me to render you properly if you keep forgetting to bring enough firewood? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5780 Is this the nude model drawing class? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5781 Seriously 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5782 it's about time someone finally forced the conversation about the mastadon in the middle of the room ... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5783 Let's keep it white... you'll be revered by the King of Siam 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5784 Feel free to take a break and stretch--on second thought, don't. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5785 Primitive art rocks! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5786 Look, Dumbo, it'll make you a star for the ages. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5787 This is what your supposed to have sex with, not me. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5788 Would you hold still?! I'm expecting a showing any millennium now. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5789 I realize you're working for peanuts, but that's the third time you've missed that pile of sand I put under your tail! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5790 Derivative of whom?! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5791 Well it was going to be a buddy picture, but now I’m thinking slasher, horror. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5792 Maybe I should just draw a picture of a room instead. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5793 You could be next to the Mona Lisa. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5794 So we build a wall, to keep these guys out! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5795 Just hold still... 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5796 Looking good! Now hold that pose for just a few more days. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5797 Which is your chocolate side? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5798 Profile! Profile! Look out of the cave! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5799 I told you to diet in order to be on the cover of Cavity Fair. Now, we had to cast somebody else. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5800 I swear, one of us is going to become extinct by the time I get you to pose like I asked you to! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5801 So tell me a little about your family. Were you your mother's favorite? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5802 I still don't think this is your good side. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5803 I realize that this may be my only shot, but do you really think this can possibly fool Noah? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5804 I’m having trouble reproducing your inscrutable smile. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5805 Sorry. I just don't do crusty gray skin. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5806 Remember, the portrait adds 10 pounds. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5807 You're just not relatable at that size. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5808 Let's try a little less "mastodon," a little more "mammoth." 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5809 Sorry, but the mural doesn't lie 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5810 Try to look more, I dunno, 'rampagey.' 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5811 Okay, I'll give you 2 more clues - it's gray and much larger in real life... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5812 Just a little retouching to update your look - whadaya think? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5813 This is good peyote. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5814 They’re going to remember you, Karl. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5815 If you don't hold still, no more peanuts! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5816 I don’t care if I lose my security deposit. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5817 Now turn a bit more left to your good side. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5818 For the third time I tell you. This is not a dog! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5819 I didn't like your mom either, but Grog requested it. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5820 I wish I had a photographic memory; taming a Mammoth made me an old man. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5821 Take a picture why don't you. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5822 Carrots, onion, and what else? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5823 Hold still. Make sure not to wiggle your trunk! Hieroglyphics is a lost art, that requires patience. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5824 If you stay still and let me finish, everyone will want one of these in their room. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5825 Give me more tusk and less trunk. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5826 Quit holding still! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5827 Now I just have to wait another 50,000,000 years to submit it to an art contest. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5828 Just bamboozling ivory hunters. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5829 If you don't stand still, I'll put more hair all over you. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5830 Why do you keep on about the recipe? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5831 Does "Master Don's Masto-Piece" sound too braggy? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5832 Just take it off; no one but me is going to see this anyway! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5833 No, it does not make your butt look fat. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5834 I made a balloon elephant, but they hunted it because it wasn't considered original. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5835 What do you expect? I'm no Michaelangelo. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5836 Now be still for ten minutes, will you? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5837 Now to add something Emma Allen will think is funny. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5838 Do you have a better idea for allowing your species to be revived in the future? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5839 OK. Now, you're on the defensive line........ 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5840 I just thought we should all put on our big-boy hides and address the elephant in the room, you know? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5841 EARLIEST KNOWN DMV PICTURE 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5842 What is that yellow, flickering thing burning my trunk? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5843 for the rest of time, when people hear the name "Mona", they'll think of this painting, and you. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5844 You want realism? Pose for Norman Rockwell! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5845 Dang it! Forgot a toe! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5846 I can’t capture your essence for future generations if you refuse to hold a pose. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5847 Now turn...and we'll do your other side. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5848 What, was I going to ignore you? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5849 You may not think it’s art, but at least it’s original. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5850 I'll draw you like I draw my French elephants. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5851 With this lighting no wonder it will take me 2,000 years to draw 3D 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5852 Hold it. Beautiful. They'll all be vegans in no time. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5853 I'm not getting paid for this either, so shut up! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5854 Stop kvetching! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5855 Good, now imagine you're extinct. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5856 The wife says that skiing holidays are all the rage this year, but I think it's just a fad. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5857 Can you a little to the right? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5858 No, I don't wish you were a Corgi... 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5859 Hold still while I capture you in this light. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5860 Keep still Mr. Mammoth, 5 more millennia and you will be frozen in time. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5861 You were right charcoal does work, but I don't see it becoming popular with artists. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5862 No, I can't make you look like George Clooney. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5863 What's a republican? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5864 Yes, I know the left is your best side. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5865 That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5866 I know it's small, but I don't have enough charcoal to make you life-size. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5867 I think it’s the fire, making it warm up everywhere. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5868 OK, relax. I'm taking 30 for a BrontoBurger. Can you remember your place? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5869 Will you stop moving around. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5870 This would be so much easier if you gave me a few minutes to invent the mirror! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5871 I'll bring out the brown of your eyes when you come up with the rest of the deposit. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5872 No charge. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5873 I want you to draw me like one of your french mammoths. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5874 You'll trumpet and smile or I'll turn this into a woolly mammoth. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5875 Is this your best side? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5876 Full-faced or profile; with that face it doesn't really matter. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5877 But then, after writing is invented, people won’t need primitive drawings any more. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5878 Don’t mention the hieroglyph in the room. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5879 If you move one more time, I'm gonna bring in T-Rex to pose. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5880 If we were that easy to capture, we'd be extinct. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5881 Some guy named, Darwin, says you once looked like this runt. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5882 It would have been helpful if you brought your baby pictures. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5883 Alright Mona Lisa, now give me that little half smile. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5884 Ceci n'est pas un mammouth laineux. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5885 Hold still! From the looks of those volcanos we don't have much time. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5886 Name's Donald Trunk. Make me look good and I'll leave you a big deposit. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5887 Lower your head and give me fierce - I can edit out the double chin. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5888 .... now, say 'C H E E S E'! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5889 How many times do aid have to tell you to keep your head still 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5890 Did I get your good side? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5891 A bit more to the left. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5892 Don't YOU remember the lesson on artistic license? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5893 Frodo why do you always forget? I only paint from memory! Go play. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5894 „Stand still! I need to capture your wrinkles.“ 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5895 Lift your tusks--just slightly. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5896 Well, the menu is ready! Now it's time to prepare dinner ... but I think I'm going to need a fire a little bit bigger. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5897 Forget the mammoth hype ... you're a Republican. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5898 It's called Photoshopping. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5899 No no no no...this is not a death portrait. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5900 Let's try a profile pose this time around. You're all nose in the portrait. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5901 Yes, your nose is longer than mine! So what? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5902 Thanks for creating fire. Now could you please hold still? Your tusks are jiggling. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5903 Well I think you’re left side is better! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5904 Of course I support your decision to identify as cave-elephant. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5905 It needs more tusk, I don’t look fierce enough yet. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5906 Step one of the witness protection program is deciding on your new look. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5907 Now smile, just a little. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5908 Ok. I’m nearly done. Get the barbecue out... quietly... 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5909 Hold that pose! I'm just starting to work on your ivory smile. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5910 Here's your Paleo-selfie. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5911 I promise! It doesn't make you look fat! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5912 The tusks are perfectly proportional and, NO, I will not make them look bigger. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5913 Well I can't draw you like "one of my French girls" if I don't even know what that is. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5914 Just don't go extinct so people can watch my brilliance 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5915 Could you tilt your tusk a little to the left? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5916 It's too much of a risk for me to drawn in your tusks. You've heard of the #Me Too movement? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5917 I'm just doing this to baffle people in the future. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5918 Please don't make me look so darn fat this time! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5919 Crude? Well for your information, Werner Herzog said he loves my work. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5920 Because I'm going to be famous in 30,000 years, that's why. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5921 Thanks, but could you please smile a bit less toothily? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5922 Sorry ... I won’t get into sculpting until the Plasticine Era. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5923 Wish they had this apparatus so the subject couldn’t see their portrait till I’m done 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5924 I swear to God if you don't stay still I will hunt you to extinction 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5925 If you want to avoid extinction, you need one of these. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5926 Oh, be quiet. I have to start somewhere. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5927 No, I won't draw your tusks - someone may steal them! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5928 You just stepped on my model. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5929 I only carve in grayscale. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5930 We can finish up tomorrow so don't forget, use the front cave entrance. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5931 That is my DNA .Can you do PCR of that 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5932 My bike got stolen recently 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5933 Do you think I made the nose too big? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5934 No I'm not going to make you look thinner! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5935 I’m trying to keep it non-political. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5936 As Grog is my witness...I swear it's my mother's recipe wall. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5937 Hortense, though my art cannot do justice to your beauty please accept this simple portrait as a token of my devotion. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5938 Person, one word. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5939 Hold still, I'm getting the angle of your tusks just right. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5940 A little more to the right. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5941 Would you please turn more toward the light. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5942 OK, head a little to the left. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5943 I also do Bar Mitzvahs 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5944 When she stormed out, she said something about an elephant in the room, right? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5945 Immortalized so your progeny will forever gaze upon your likeness! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5946 Of course it will work, but be sure to come back if it lasts more than eight hours. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5947 I need you to hold that pose. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5948 Don't worry it's a cave painting. No one is ever going to see it. Now give me that little pouty face. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5949 Give me that come hither look! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5950 It's not photorealism, but here's your baby picture. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5951 I'm sick of calling this my studio; from now on it's a living room. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5952 Elephantiasis my butt, Martha. You just need to take your Weight Watchers membership more seriously! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5953 Ok, just a few more minutes and then you can do your fire dance. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5954 No ! No third tusk. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5955 People like body parts to look more "lifted" in pictures, that's why. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5956 I just wanted something to remember you by. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5957 It may not look like you as I only studied still prehistoric life. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5958 Oh, you are being too kind. You are drawing me before I hit that One Ton mark and before all my wrinkles. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5959 Pre-modernism. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5960 Everyone's a critic. No one understands art. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5961 Ivory much doubt you'll be disappointed! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5962 The working title is 'Elephant in the Cave,' which I think is catchy, don't you? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5963 How do you expect to make it in modeling if you can't hold still for 30 consecutive seconds? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5964 I never claimed to be a professional. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5965 Plato's cave is showing its corruption! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5966 Shall we offer a reward too? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5967 Smile, damnit 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5968 Really? You can't pose with your trunk up for the five seconds this will take to draw? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5969 Hey, I'm doing my best to make you beautiful. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5970 When the prosecutor asks if this was the perpetrator please don't make that joke about your being forgetful. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5971 Am I too late for high tea? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5972 For the 2/5/2018 magazine (not drawing above): Hikers looking for solitude usually avoid the peak. Descend a few hundred feet where the signal's not so strong. 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
5973 Grog like drawing. Writing a winning caption take ten thousand moons. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5974 ....just try to smile in a more enigmatic way 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5975 Stop the whining, I just invented fire and wall-art, you have nothing to be petrified about! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5976 Stand still, I don't get paid by the eon. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5977 And what pray tell are you doing to memorialize me? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5978 No, really, the charcoal add about 20 pounds to the image. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5979 Paint me with my trunks on - only my trunks. I want you to draw me like one of your cave girls. Wearing trunks... Wearing "only" trunks. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5980 Does my nose look too big? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5981 Drawing you for the hall of fame.. don't tilt your chin 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5982 The painting? THAT they will talk about. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5983 Don't worry. I'll make your tusks longer. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5984 Can you make me look ten years younger before I put on all this weight? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5985 Given we're all about to be fossilized I hate to ask, but could you be a lamb and just sit still? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5986 The tusks won't make you look fat, trust me. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5987 I'm not finished with the tusks, jerk. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5988 Stop complaining about the proportions or I'll make this a Pollock. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5989 No, I did not make you look fat. 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
5990 I'm not trying to make your trunk look long. 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
5991 I told you - it's called Neorealism. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5992 What's a registered trunk cave mark? 1.1579 0.06522 57 51 3 3
5993 I just need to add a few stars and we'll have a perfect 'way out' sign. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5994 I'm painting your baby ok. You're making me nervous. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5995 I'm calling it perspective. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5996 The G is silent, Mastadong 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5997 Tomorrow we'll work on your other end. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5998 Make love to paint brush. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5999 Perhaps you think I'm an art-vaark? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6000 I’m not exaggerating ... you DO have a mammoth nose! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6001 I know, but you don't get fed until the posing is finished.... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6002 Stop fidgeting! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6003 This could be your lucky break - I can see a renaming of Pantone color 408 in it for you 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6004 It'll look better when it drys ! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6005 Don’t worry—these paints are guaranteed to shave off ten pounds and 10,000 years. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6006 Work it! Work it! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6007 I've sent a smoke signal to your mahout to tell him your portrait is finished! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6008 Hold still, I'm snapchat-ing this to my story! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6009 Don't even ask me about the saber-toothed tiger sitting... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6010 Yes, I know, there is something wrong about the mouth. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6011 Can I leave out the part about Martians? I am bad at drawing Martians. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6012 Why are there men with spears behind me?" "No reason. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6013 I can reduce the size of your tusks and lift the trunk, but we might want to consider botox to take care of the crow's feet... 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6014 Now Mona. give me that quizzical smile of yours! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6015 Now are we swiping left or right on this one? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6016 „No, you don‘t look fat.“ 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6017 Tusk tusk, feeding time so soon? Sorry, I meant Tsk, Tsk. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6018 The first #nofilter selfie 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6019 The unicorn couldn't make it to the sitting. You'll have to do. Like anyone is going to care 10000 years from now. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6020 NOW you tell me it's your bad side? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6021 I’ll waive your sitting fee if you add the tusk whitening. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6022 No, I don't mean it's actually you. It represents you. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6023 This will be priceless in a few millennia. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6024 Quit facing me! I only do profiles! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6025 The purity of art will never allow for animals to be depicted wearing clothing. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6026 I feel like the tusks are going to be a problem. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6027 Could you make me look a little slimmer? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6028 All I have to say is "tsk tsk." 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6029 Fabulous... now show me a bit more pout 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6030 If we finish it tonight, they'll add it onto the software update tomorrow. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6031 In 10,000 years, people will believe that the elephants had woolly fur. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6032 Yes, yes already. I will scale my own figure proportionately! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6033 What do you mean your abs don't look chiseled? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6034 Do you realize you may go down in history. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6035 No I didn't say you look fat! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6036 Will you stop swaying ! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
6037 ya gotta hold still man ! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6038 Stop that "limp hose" act, okay? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6039 Its called a selfie. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6040 Hold still. I am not done with your portrait yet. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6041 "I promise I won't make you look fat". 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
6042 Drawing from life ... 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6043 Please hold that pose 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
6044 Yes I do know about ‘@woolymammoth.too’... and no, painting you nude DOES NOT mean I want to sleep with you! 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
6045 I said “Freeze!” 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6046 By the time I'm done with what I have to say, your ancestors will have stories they will never forget. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6047 Trust me, they'll love it come the Renaissance. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6048 So you could better?? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6049 Please do not attempt to return; security has your picture. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6050 Believe me - sexual arousal is not my intent. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6051 While preparing my Meat Loaf, I now concur with my fellow cavemen that animals drawn on the cave wall are indeed closer than they appear. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6052 Try to see it from my perspective. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6053 I need you to gently pull down these bricks to use in our Great Wall! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6054 I need you to stand still, dammit. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6055 What do you mean 'I don't have a Trump trunk'? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6056 Welcome to anatomy 101. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6057 What do you mean it's an unflattering portrait? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6058 Draw me like one of your french mammoths. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6059 Don’t worry, the wall takes off 10 pounds. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6060 If you hadn't shaved all your fur off I could have gotten a better likeness. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6061 This is for posterity! Can't you look a bit more animated?! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6062 Can you sneeze a bit slower ? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6063 Just pretend you're happy to see me. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6064 For now, move just a little to the left. We'll eat you later. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6065 Alright. How would YOU greatly exaggerate the rumors of your demise? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6066 It's not Bimbo-It's Dumbo-OK? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6067 If you keep on moving, I'm not going to get to work on time 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6068 No, I'm not going to do your tusks. This is supposed to be a nudie. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6069 Sorry, no family portraits. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6070 Just stop it, you don't look fat! 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6071 Go ahead, make love to the cavern! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6072 You try painting her from memory. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6073 Do you like your right side better? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6074 Turn more to your right! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6075 Your dick is, like, CRAZY big. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6076 I needed some light in here, stand still 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6077 Great! My trunk is up and facing the opening of the cave. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6078 You are such a show off, but I am not drawing your third tusk on my cave. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6079 Of course they'll forget you! That's why we do THIS! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6080 You need to be still Mona Lisa... 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6081 A Wooly Mammoth... These things will never go extinct 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6082 This is my truth. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6083 I’m bringing a minimalist perspective to that old saying, ‘There’s a mammoth in the cave’. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6084 No, I won't make you look slender. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6085 How come I am the one drawn naked while you keep the wool? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6086 Smile! It's for the Barnum and Bailey poster. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6087 Tell me about those eight men. What'd they see? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
6088 What do you mean, someday you'll be doing your own selfies? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
6089 Seven feet long, 400 pounds, I know, I know. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6090 This is an ab-original. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6091 A little to the left please! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
6092 Yep. There's room right here below your baby portrait 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6093 No tusks! This is artistic license. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6094 What do you mean 'Fake News'? 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
6095 You're going for that Mona Lisa pose again, aren't you? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6096 So it’s not as good as my “horses.” You’re a more substantial subject — show a little empathy! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6097 Hold your tusks. I'm a minimalist! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
6098 Can you be still when I draw your tusks? 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
6099 You shall be remembered 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6100 No one’s gonna believe this if I don’t get a picture! 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
6101 Sorry Steve, this is naturalism. You're gonna have to remove the Invisalign. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
6102 Imagination isn't enough. We need procreation. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6103 For the last time, I'm not trying to make you look fat! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6104 "Tsk, tsk"? Is that all you can say? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6105 Does it look like I own a Polaroid ? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6106 With or without fur? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6107 The rest of the class wanted you covered. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6108 It's called abstract. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6109 OK, but just one more and then bed. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6110 You've given a pretty bare description for someone with a supposedly great memory. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6111 I'm not drawing you. I just need you to fan the flames. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6112 It’s a Rorschach blot test and you seeing yourself is very strange. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6113 Wait til the temperature drops! Then, you really won't be able to move! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6114 Earliest forms of social media were also used to show others your meal. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6115 I'm trying for a kinder, gentler look. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6116 I'm sorry but the granite add 15 pounds. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6117 Keep still, I've got to get this right for future EPA'ers as some day you'll be extinct! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6118 Sorry, I don’t do trunks or tusks! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6119 Me first artiste. You first subject matter. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6120 I know it's not a good likeness, but I got to make you look prehistoric. Folks'll be tromping down here. They'll pay top dollar to get a peek at prehistoricism. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6121 One more goose-jab and I'm outta here! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6122 How do you expect me to get it right if you don't stand still? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6123 If you had stuck to your herbal detox, you would have looked a lot slimmer. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6124 See, I have had you since you were this little, and now all this talk about leaving and finding your tribe. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6125 It’s not just another potboiler! I’m trying to capture your uniqueness. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6126 That's not my good side. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6127 After you I am going to do nudes. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6128 You won't smile until I draw the hunters you like to stomp on and chase. . . Is that it? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6129 "You realize you are working for peanuts".... 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6130 Are you here for the painting or for the fire? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6131 Why am I burning a fire in the middle of the day? 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6132 "Be careful, That creature from two weeks ago's cartoon caption is lurking around here !' 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6133 Will this be done before your wife gets home? 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6134 It's called Fake News. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6135 Paint me like one of your cave girls 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6136 Considering the history your own mammoth forebearers, I’d be a little more careful of who you call derivative. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6137 Keep your day job. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6138 But that IS your good side. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6139 I know it doesn't look like you, I'm not finished yet. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6140 Your eyes are going to be the tricky part.. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6141 No enhancements. I paint proboscises as I see 'em. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6142 Draw me like one of your Gaulish girls. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6143 Trust me, you won't look like Jimmy Durante. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6144 After this one we'll take a walk through the proofs 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6145 if you keep your trunk straight it makes you look thinner 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6146 I'd like to see YOU try to mix these dyes and paint on this crooked surface, I need dedicated studio space!! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6147 No, goddammit, you can’t have bamboo. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6148 I always thought it was easy for you to floss. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6149 Would you please hold still? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6150 Your due date is about a year. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6151 Please don't make me look too tusky. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6152 I wanted to catch the feminine side of you. what do you think? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6153 This is so _I'll_ never forget _you_. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6154 Hold your trunk up a little higher. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6155 ...and quit blinking your eyes. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6156 Our future inhabitants will hardly gaze upon your picture, they will always be enthralled by just how we got you in here. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6157 Believe me, in a million years, no one will care you had tusks. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6158 Does this make you look fat? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6159 I paint what I see. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6160 Just let me finish the horns and then you can go out and relieve yourself. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6161 I know...charcoal adds 10 lbs... 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6162 I know it's too small, but I have wooly mammoths, dinosaurs, and giant sloths that have reserved space! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6163 "you missed a spot" mammoth 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6164 You can’t even remember to keep still. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6165 I've never seen them, but I have all their albums. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6166 I had not realized you were so horny. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6167 This is you, outside and happy. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6168 Now show me some gravitas. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6169 trust me you, people will pay to see you 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6170 No, no, no draw me like one of your French girls 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6171 Look you could even dance if you want. It will be the Greatest Show on Earth 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6172 Hunting was just not in me man 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6173 Maybe if you got more wood for the fire id get your cheeckbones right. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6174 Hold still or I'll get the tusks wrong! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6175 One of these days I'll be discovered. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6176 ...just a little to the right so the light reflects just a bit more off your tusks. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6177 A peanut break - again? And you call yourself a Mastadon? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6178 I'm calling it Grand Old Pachyderm. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6179 I'm just guessing about how to draw your back half. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6180 On the contrary, I'm not making you look ancient. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6181 Everyone's a critic now. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6182 Trust me, this is better. Tusks are hard, OK? I can never get the perspective right. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6183 oh fuck 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6184 Hey, I'm paying scale for a model, not an art critic." 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6185 For a mastodon, this is New York skinny. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6186 Don't you want to trim up your horns before I finish this very permanent portrait? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6187 If you don't stop fidgeting, no one will have a good picture of what you looked like. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6188 Is that really me? I had no idea I was that heavy? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6189 Warning: things in the rear are larger than they appear. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6190 Fat shaming? I prefer to think of it as downsizing. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6191 Is that with one tusk or two? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6192 Pay Attention! This is for your own good! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6193 It's meant to be an impression. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6194 Don’t worry about your trunk size, it’s irrelephant 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6195 In the studio: beyond postmodernism 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6196 No, I won't add an emoji. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6197 The irony is the elephant is in the room. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6198 You are the perfect symbol for the Grand Old Pliocene era. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6199 Don't be so judgy, it's the first drawing ever. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6200 It’s good, but I think you made my nose too big. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6201 “And your your image will represent hunters, gun owners, and deniers of science, evolution, global warming..... but at least you’ll be extinct” global warming.... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6202 This way, I won't forget you either. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6203 Your specie is at a disadvantage when they stick peas up their nose. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6204 No I can't paint you a little tinner! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6205 Listen, we pachyderms are highly intelligent and I'm telling you the perspective is way off! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6206 Tsk, tusk, you can't carve up my cave wall 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6207 Mona, is your last name really Lisa? 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6208 I said an elephant never forgets! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6209 Hold still. I have three other specials to draw. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6210 Mmm...w-o-o-l....Is that one l or two? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6211 You just don't understand modern art! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6212 Tusks are extra. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6213 This is going to look great on my Insta-Rock. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6214 Relax! Any wrinkles, cellulite...we'll Photoshop it right out. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6215 Why can’t you keep it up? Junk in the trunk? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6216 Wait, your right side is your better side? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6217 Dude, just get a mirror already. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6218 I think I’ll call it: ‘The Elephant in the Cave.’ It’ll become a phrase for the ages. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6219 Hold still! They won't vote until you get there! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6220 But, you told me to paint you like one of my Cenozoic girls... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6221 I wanted to be a shoe salesman, but mother said it wasn’t practical. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6222 Work with me, sweetheart. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6223 That's not my good side. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6224 Trust me on this, the Mona Lisa's gonna be small, too. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6225 Your voice stinks, so we're going to stick to silent pictures. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6226 Are you sure? I think they kind of make your ears and feet look small. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6227 You know you're going to have to pay for this portrait with your tusks, right? You want me to draw them anyway? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6228 The color is called "wall grey;" it approximates your skin tone. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6229 I got the body from the side, but, by the time I get to the head, he's turned three quarters round. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6230 I left off the tusks because they block your eyes. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6231 Gimme a break! I'm only on "Learn How to Draw" lesson 2.0 ! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6232 I told you this would be easier than painting that damn hummingbird! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6233 Mitch, please stop moving around! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6234 Don't worry, the bloody stick adds ten thousand pounds. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6235 Sorry but I’m a little dyslexic. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6236 Could you turn your head a little to the right? It'll bring out the battle scar on your tusk. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6237 Have you quite done yet? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6238 Try to look ferocious. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6239 Hold still! How do you expect me to capture the texture of your tusks when you're moving 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6240 The color of this cave matches your pigment nicely. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6241 Donkeys won’t evolve for another five million years, so we’re in the only echo chamber in town. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6242 O.K., Griswold, this is a mastodon, like you. Before mating season begins next week you'll need to know the difference between mastodons and mammoths. Oh, and one other thing to know... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6243 Cavemansplaining 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6244 Please stand still. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6245 I'm sorry, but it really doesn't look anything like me. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6246 A little more to the RIGHT, please. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6247 How's this for your Tinder pose? 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6248 Alright, I promise I won't paint red and white stripes and a white star over blue, on it. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6249 If you can't hold still, I'll have to use the saber-toothed tiger on the cover page. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6250 I know it's dinner time, but can't you wait for another 5 minutes. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6251 tusks up, trunk down. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6252 What do you mean it looks like a critter? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6253 We need to try a different pose. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6254 Won't it be nice for your grandkids' grandkids to look back on this centuries from now? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6255 This will identify you in the new cave vetting system. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6256 I need to get this right. No one will ever believe you existed. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6257 Quite a small fire for such a large barbacue ! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6258 Ok, no more calculus. Take out your crayons. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6259 Now if you're starting to feel relaxed enough, you're welcome to take a bit of that wool off. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6260 Any other identifying features? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6261 Perceive with your eyes, not your mind. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6262 I know the aspect-ration is off! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6263 I need to paint it again, you blinked. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6264 NOW LOOK, DUMBO. YOU'VE FLUNKED THIS FORTY TIMES. HARVARD??? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6265 I know it's Babar-ish, but it's you. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6266 How many wallet-size would you like? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6267 It's not supposed to speak to you. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6268 Yes, all the proportions are correct, and no, I won't chisel them any larger. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6269 Stop that shifting ... 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6270 Be patient — I'm updating your cave-networking profile. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6271 I don’t care if you think it's too “bold, earthy, and naturalistic." Just tell me if you've seen this Mastodon. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6272 I'm grateful to be living in such 'hygge' times. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6273 I guess this Paleolithic diet isn’t doing anything for me! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6274 O K! But WHAT! is a REPUBLICAN? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6275 For fun, let's have you fighting a tyrannosaurus! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6276 What do you expect if you refuse to hold still 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6277 I need my wheel invention to become a thing, so I can quit this damn cave drawing job. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6278 I'm calling my new invention the Facebook wall. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6279 You're supposed to be a SUPPORT mammoth! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6280 No Tusks, PLEASE, no tusks 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6281 Don't forget. I just draw 'em as I see 'em, Mr. Gray, 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6282 "You can mope all you want, I told you I'm not drawing your trunk to size. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6283 I'll put the donkey on the left. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6284 Head up! Hold it, hold it! Now show me some tusk, baby! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6285 I know, I know, but she's got a great personality! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6286 What! You forgot what you looked like when you were a calf? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6287 You moved your trunk! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6288 You'll be immortal! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6289 Remind me again why I am doing this 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6290 Enough with the chiaroscuro talk! Your tusks are featured, okay? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6291 Ew, no, I look so fat. Delete it. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6292 Ugga-ugga ...Stay still. You’ll be famous in 200,000 years. Believe me. 200,000 years! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6293 No I cannot start over and make you look less fat. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6294 Did I get the nose right? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6295 Tusk tusk! Don’t fall asleep on me yet. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6296 Do you want the whole family in this? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6297 Well we’ll just see who thinks it’s just a stupid drawing after you go extinct. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6298 You're not making me big enough. Also, you need to curve my trunk down, and give me two tusks curved upward. And don't forget the hair! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6299 Next time just take a damn selfie. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6300 You didn't shave. I told you to shave. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6301 Don't get excited if it looks short, David. The religious council dictates the proportions for male appendages. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6302 This lighting is terrible! What more do you expect from me, working in these conditions? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6303 Stand still,you won’t be paid until it’s sold 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6304 This is going to go down in history 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6305 Stop fidgeting or I'll never get your trunk right. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6306 Keep your trunk straight please. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6307 Trust me, your portrait will be one steppe ahead of the rest. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6308 Hold still or I won't get the shading right 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6309 I get this one, you did the last one. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6310 It makes you look about sixty years younger. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6311 No, it’s not a dog. It’s creative license! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6312 What's the matter? You have to go pee? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6313 OK, one more time. You come from the right, sack the quarterback and we’re golden! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6314 Okay Dumbo, don't move while I get your right side. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6315 Either you like Picasso, or you don't like Picasso. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6316 What do you mean, the nose is all wrong? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6317 Uh .... but your nose IS that long 1.1455 0.06574 55 50 2 3
6318 you need to hold your stampede pose... 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6319 No, I will not make you look thinner! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6320 I told you. I will not give you fake yellow hair and a comb over. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6321 For future generations’ sake - don’t move before I have finished this sketch 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6322 Don't worry. You'll forget all about this. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6323 Well, if I do this right, you will go down in history as the mascot of a political party called "gop" 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6324 Of course you're inside. Outsider art doesn't rear its head for centuries. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6325 Because, unfortunately by the time you leave the poachers will have them 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6326 A memory for posterity? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6327 "It WILL be a selfie". 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6328 If you hadn't slept through health class you would know this was the female of your species. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6329 It's Still Life With Tusks. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6330 Believe me, we are going nowhere unless we participate in the arts. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6331 I haven't mastered drawing tusks. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6332 No, I don't think tusks are sexy. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6333 Hold that pose, the firelight on your trunk is just right! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6334 Dammit! Keep the trunk UP! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6335 Does this brush make your butt look fat? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6336 You may have invented fire but I get to record history. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6337 It's your inner elephant! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6338 Turn around. I think your other end would look better. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6339 I don't do nudes. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6340 "It's not your best side"...So I FORGOT!?! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6341 You said 'conventional glyph', right? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6342 Voila! The mastodon brand licenses another property to its portfolio. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6343 oh, forget it! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6344 Okay, someone has to address the mastodon in the cave: I can't draw. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6345 What do you mean you don’t like it? Can you draw...no! I’m an artist! No stick figures from me! Geez! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6346 No, you can’t wait around to be done by da Vinci. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6347 Not sure if this is uncouth but can you make my tusks whiter? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6348 Try not looking down your nose at my painting! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6349 Not to worry. No one will be able to tell that I Photocaved you. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6350 Do I have your best side? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6351 Quit sneezing! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6352 "I'm putting-up reward to anyone who finds baby 'Pickles'"! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6353 The agency said you'd get a meal after we're done. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6354 I told you, no smiling! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6355 You have to hold really still or you’ll be mistaken for a mastodon. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6356 I feel it’s your attempt to legislate evolution. How’s about I paint you without a beard? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6357 What do you mean 'it's not your good side'? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6358 Now try to look less massive. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6359 Oh, look, another profile. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6360 That's not my best side. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6361 Will you please stand still! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6362 Of course it's not to scale, Eli. It's an artist's rendering for pity sake, so stop your whining and stand still. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6363 Hold still, or we BOTH be extinct by time I finish masterpiece! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6364 Does this scale? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6365 That looks nothing like one of your French girls! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6366 Do you remember last weeks pose? Let's return. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6367 I know you always crack up when I add the spears. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6368 Police sketch no been invented yet. Best I do is Ugg-shot. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6369 You are not! The cave wall always adds ten pounds. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6370 What's a PowerPoint? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6371 you can't leave. you're trunk 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6372 Come on, raise your trunk and smile. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6373 I’m trying to show off your good hide. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6374 Etch me like one of your French girls. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6375 Oh, for cryin' out loud! No, I did NOT make you look fat. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6376 I'm hoping for commercial work. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6377 See, you do have something in your tooth. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6378 Yes, it’s okay if you smoke. Just try not to move your head. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6379 Draw me like one of your Paleolithic girls. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6380 I think I've really captured the color of your eyes this time. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6381 Your profile looks just like your Mom's. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6382 You will remember this moment for a long time... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6383 Nude mammoths are avant-garde. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6384 .....and now I want one with you putting your foot in the fire. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6385 Listen, I’m not here to massage your ego, you paid me for a realistic portrait, and that is what you’ve got. Pay up. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6386 The more you move the less photorealistic this is going to be. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6387 Don’t drop your trunk. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6388 How could you forget the earring?!...Never mind, don’t answer that.... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6389 I really don't want to talk about it. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6390 Say "cheeeese". 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6391 If you want to get to the Field Museum, you will have to go jump into the tar pit. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6392 I'm posting this on Facebook Wooly, size doesn't matter! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6393 I said don’t blink! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6394 I'm going for a more Platonic ideal elephant than mere verisimilitude. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6395 Is that with one “m”, or two? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6396 Swipe right or left? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6397 My art is fine. It's your tusk that's uneven. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6398 With, or without the atlatl? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6399 No, I won't drape you. I only draw nudes. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6400 Well, you're not the greatest model. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6401 The cave takes off five pounds. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6402 I told you before; No, I can't airbrush out your wrinkles! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6403 You try painting with a pair of tusks. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6404 You have to hold that trunk still, or I'll never get the shading right! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6405 I think this is a good start. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6406 I am capturing your playful smile! Quit complaining! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6407 Don't worry! You won't forget this one. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6408 "Please move a little more to your right for better fire lighting". 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6409 Yes, your left profile is a little more flattering. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6410 Now turn sideways. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6411 It worked, Mr. Thompson. You're completely gluten free. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6412 I would call your style primitive but it would be rhetorical 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6413 Yeah, yeah. I promise I won't draw you fat. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6414 Come on, work for me baby. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6415 Okay, on the count of three say mammoth. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6416 What? Don't you like Mick Stevens's drawing of you? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6417 smile and don't blink 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6418 Smile, Mona 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6419 . Look for another line of work. Portraits aren't your strong suit. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6420 well, then put some clothes on. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6421 My new technique gives animal forms a more life-like appearance than in older cave paintings. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6422 No, not cave art. Lunch specials. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6423 It's called Fake News. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6424 "For the last time, I told you it's called abstract". 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6425 How do you feel about working for peanuts? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6426 Yes...this is exactly the same room in which I did the donkey. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6427 No, I don’t it makes you look hippy at all! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6428 I Man... You Elephant... You My Symbol... We Make Cave Great Again. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6429 'I've always been a huge fan.' 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6430 'You have terrible peanut breath'! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6431 I'm going to need more than peanuts if you want me to remove my trunk. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6432 Listen up...Someday you'll have to fight a creature more powerful than this...It's called a donkey. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6433 I want to submit this picture to the 'Hieroglyphics Herald', favorite pet edition. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6434 Just hold still a little longer, I am almost done! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6435 That's not even my good side. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6436 C'mon Fred, we have had this pictionary category before..Legendary memory, my arse! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6437 Do these tusks make me look fat. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6438 This will go a lot faster if you stop resting and levitate again. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6439 This is just a preliminary sketch. We can always photoshop the tusks in later. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6440 Look over your tusks mischievously. It's not political. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6441 Because this end is more interesting to draw, that's why. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6442 Perfect! Now hold that never-forgetful look form me, willya. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6443 I know your memory's infallible, but we humans depend on visual prompts. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6444 Alright already. So you have evolved. I can't help it if my drawing is rather primitive. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6445 Every Mastodon's a critic. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6446 Okay, okay. I'll make the tusks bigger already. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6447 Can you turn your trunk a little to the left? The light's better. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6448 I think you’re trying to show me that size does matter. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6449 Oh I like that! Now give me sexy! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6450 Wanna be the first vitruvian elephant? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6451 Don't look at me like that. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6452 What's wrong? I'm getting your good side! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6453 I don't care if your nose is getting hot, hold still! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6454 Hey - who's the artist here??? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6455 First Instagram....“move to your right so I get the fire”. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6456 I don't care what Madden BC pays, I'm not compensating you for the use of your image. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6457 I don't remember looking like that. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6458 Could you stop with the duck face already? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6459 ..and we'll put in some happy little trees to make our friend feel at home. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6460 Paint me like one of you Indian elephants. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6461 Here is your cousin, the Corgi Mastodon. Good for herding cattle. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6462 You know, showing stretch marks is the new thing. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6463 Hold still Dumbo! 1.1455 0.06574 55 50 2 3
6464 Just hold still. We won't have to do this for another 2 years. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6465 Could you turn your head slightly to the left? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6466 Paint me like one of your French girls — wooly. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6467 I'm going ahead, image rights or no! 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6468 Damn it, you blinked! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6469 Would you please stand still and smile? I have another commission in the next cave I have to get to. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6470 Stop giggling. You try painting during the earthquake. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6471 Some day you’ll be known as the elephant in the cave . . . 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6472 NOW you tell me it's not your best side? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6473 MY ancestors did the originals!!! We got peanuts for it! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6474 At least they can't say the elephant in the room went unnoticed 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6475 You wouldn't understand, it's called Food Porn. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
6476 That's it. Give me your Mona Lisa smile. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6477 I didn't get it for fire or the wheel, but maybe mammoth drawings will get me a Nobel. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6478 You're blocking my sunlight 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6479 I did not draw your nose too large. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6480 It is you when you hold your trunk up. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6481 You are my true muse and I am Renoir, reborn. I love my models "plump and peachy". 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6482 You may not like it, but minituarization is the wave of the future! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6483 Yeah, right, and your trunk's longer too. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6484 Do you still have an inferiority complex because you have little tusks? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6485 Is this jogging your memory? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6486 Hold still will you! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6487 What do you mean I'm not showing your best side? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6488 I said paint me like one of your French girls. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6489 If you want to be on Instagram you're gonna have to wait a few eons. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6490 Hold still for a minute. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6491 Did you want it from the right side instead? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6492 Can we make the nose a bit t 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6493 I know the lighting is bad, but we can't retake it! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6494 No! I won't make your trunk look bigger. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6495 Hey, you were just telling me you didn't want people judging you by tusk size. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6496 Stop whining, I'm a minimalist! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6497 "This is my last try, Spike. If this painting doesn't sell, you will be losing some ivory. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6498 Any trunk pointing is considered discrimination in our pachyderm herd. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
6499 I'm not finished. Don't you dare go extinct. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
6500 Why? Performance anxiety. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6501 Well, if you'd stop moving maybe I could do a better job! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6502 Yes, i'll lose the wart 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6503 I'm leaving out the horns - they make you look fat. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6504 IF YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS RIGHT AND GET IT FINISHED, PLEASE HOLD YOUR TRUNK UP! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6505 My critics are gonna love this. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6506 I've been standing here for an hour and you still can't draw my nose properly. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6507 Two hand spans to the left, and up a smidge, Og. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6508 Carve me like one of your French girls 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6509 Your critique of my artistic style is not going to go well over the years 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6510 This is 'Pachylicious', our most popular 'Tusk-Reduction' model.... 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6511 Hmm...the trunk to tusk ratio can use a little work. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6512 You still got my nose wrong! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6513 OK... now give me some attitude. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6514 So, swipe left or right? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6515 Your policy should include coverage for extractions. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6516 Could you move your head slightly to the right 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6517 How about a shot from the rear? I can't quite catch the smile. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6518 The very first ‘Menu of the Day.’ 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6519 Is this one more to your liking? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6520 This is your good side. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6521 I'm not "trying to make them look small", you just have small ears. One more word and history will forget you! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6522 No, he doesn't look just like George Clooney. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6523 The smile - if that's what it is - needs to be a little bit more enigmatic . . . 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6524 Smile like you mean it! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6525 Drawing you without the tusks since they will never be worth anything. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6526 Let's try striking a different pose for our next petroglyph, shall we? Your neck will look a lot longer if your drop your shoulders. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6527 Turn to your left and be still. There is a waiting line outside for warm cave time! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6528 hold that pose 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6529 Okay, okay! I’ll acknowledge the behemoth elephant in the room. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6530 Sorry, we only have one filter for selfies: campfire smoke. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6531 I know. I'm not there yet. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6532 You may think this is mansplaining, but bear with me. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6533 I got sick of the dire rat race. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6534 Stay still, will you? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6535 Seriously, no bathrooms? But your ads say this is an upscale restaurant. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6536 It's a rent-controlled cave. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6537 Look, I never claimed I was Rembrandt 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6538 If you don’t remain still I won’t be able to capture your delicious cheekbones in all their splendor. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6539 I'm considering adding hair. It would make you appear more stately. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6540 This thing in my hand? I call it a selfie stick. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6541 Draw me like one of your Neanderthal girls 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6542 pay me in peanuts, this is the best you gonna get. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6543 You really think you can do better? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6544 Longer trunk, move it to the left - just make up your mind! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6545 Donald, if you change your position one more time...You're Fired! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6546 We'll if you would stop moving! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6547 Can you hang around a few more minutes till I get someone down here to witness this, otherwise they'll think it's photoshopped 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6548 No!!! You're in great shape! Of course the Mastedons are gonna smash those Dinohippuses in the fall! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6549 Your trunk is drooping again. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6550 Now you think of a caption along with thousands of other elephants and at the end of the week I will carve the best caption into the wall. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6551 OK...You're the Ur-emoji--now when do I get those tusks? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6552 I already told you. It's my Caption Contest entry. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6553 Prehistoric Dating Services "I said I'm straight, not that my trunk is straight. Please revise my ad, and help me find a curvy female." 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6554 Is my nose really that big? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6555 But, we really are related. Here’s you and... 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6556 Now hold that pose. The eyes are the most important part. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6557 I told you I'm in Cave Drawing: Part 1 ! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6558 Just hang in there until the Dinosaurs get here. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6559 After 4 years of art school, I know which is your better side. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6560 If you don't sit still, no one will ever believe you existed. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6561 SEXY is what I want you to project! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6562 Hold that smile - I will make you immortal! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6563 Pointillism! Pointillism! Always you want the Pointillism. I 'm just NOT there yet! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6564 Try to look a little more mysterious. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6565 Just hold still another minute, I think I'm going to get a lot of "likes" on this one. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6566 I know it’s not the same, but you’re not as beautiful as your sister 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6567 I'm devising a Competency Test 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6568 the tusks are a portal to the soul 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6569 Trunk up, please. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6570 No, this angle does not make you look fat. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6571 Draw me like one of your French girls, Jack. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6572 You look great in this lighting. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6573 What do you mean 'put it on a milk carton?' 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6574 Wil you stand still? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6575 What do you mean’ ‘you don’t remember signing up for this’? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6576 And they said I should stick to handprints. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6577 Family. Do not eat. Think you can remember that? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6578 Are you sure you want me to shop your nose? 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6579 Carve me like one of your French girls 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6580 I understand, but it will be mil I know, but it will be millennia before anyone masters perspective. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6581 True artists don't pander to the vanity of every Tom, Dick, and Hairy. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6582 You're going to use this for your Facebook profile picture? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6583 When the menu was invented... "Tonight's specials are" 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6584 I should have just used the canvas. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6585 Now, this will be a 525,600,000 minute pose. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6586 Will you stand still for a minute! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6587 Can you hold that pose for just another 10 to 50 thousand years? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6588 HOLD THAT POSE, OR YOU"RE MAMMOTHBUGER ! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6589 No I said draw me like one of your French girls, Jack! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6590 Hold still. I have to get this before you become extinct. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6591 Be thankful, you have never been sexually harassed. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6592 Agree now, but in 10,000 years this will be very funny 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6593 This would be AMAZING if I had some natural light. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6594 Would you mind wearing a swimsuit? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6595 No! Your nose isn’t THAT big. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6596 Do you want me to retouch your portrait? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6597 I don't see the resemblance 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6598 The great painter Uga Chacka Picasso paints one of the defining pictures of the cave-expressionism movement. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6599 Everybody's an art critic. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6600 Sure, we'll both be famous, soon as we go extinct 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6601 You're all over the map today. I can't decide which mastodon to paint. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6602 Trust me, there is a likeness. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6603 Those are nice tusks, now show me some trunk 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6604 If I'm stuck in these fucking prehistoric cartoons, you are too, so hold still! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6605 You'll thank me when you're famous! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6606 And 'M' is for Mastodon. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6607 If you don't want to look like something extinct, you'll have to be still. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6608 Snelfie's take time! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6609 Don't worry, this is just a sketch. In the final portrait, you will be massive and your horns will be HUGE. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6610 Please extend your trunk, just a few minutes, I've almost got it 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6611 I am almost finished with the drawing; you have been very good model! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6612 You still don't get the joke? Let me draw you a picture. I saw an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in them I'll never know. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6613 No, it's not what I am cooking for dinner. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6614 No dude I have no idea why they are obsessed with cave cartons 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6615 The Allegory of the Cavemansplainer 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6616 Wow! You really captured the enormity of the matter! 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6617 Da trunk bone connected to da tusk bone, da tusk bone connected to da neck bone... 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6618 Don't forget - you knew me before MOMA. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6619 I'm sorry; painting nudes always distracts me 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6620 Hate to disappoint -but this exactly what I’m seeing... 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6621 Don't worry. They'll figure out I'm not a literalist. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6622 You're headed for extinction and my ancestors will invent plastic. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6623 You see? I did this for Jumbo and he's got more work than he can handle. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6624 People will be fascinated, they have never seen anything like this. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6625 Oh, no worries, we’ll just Photoshop those curves in 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6626 "Open your legs a bit". 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6627 I'm a Republican, so you can't have any tusks! 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6628 YOUR ELEPHANT COUSIN WILL PROBABLY SURVIVE. BUT IF YOU DON'T WORK HARDER ON YOUR BROWSING AND GRAZING SKILLS, YOU AND I ARE BOTH GONNA BE EXTINCT. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6629 WORK IT! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6630 ...when I asked for a cave portrait you told me you only drew landscapes. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6631 I know you trying to document me but, it just isn’t coming out right. But, I guess you’rr trying so I’ll give you that. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6632 Happy with the result for a first sitting? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6633 Try to look more enigmatic. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6634 You are there, I am here 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6635 Just don’t forget the #photocredit this time! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6636 Now, give me 'sexy'. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6637 Cut me some slack, I'm new to the chisel movement. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6638 Say fromage. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6639 Turn a little to the right.. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6640 Looks like Ray Ramano. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6641 You wanted your portrait to make you look more youthful. If I overdo it, you'll appear downright primordial. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6642 Work it, Baby, work it! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6643 Oh, that made me think, would you mind if I hung some wet clothes on your tusks? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6644 Okay. Now what? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6645 If you don't stand still, I won't be able to finish this. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6646 Because selfies haven't been invented yet, that's why. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6647 Cave-wall artistry is always more challenging when poor lighting is not the only elephant in the room. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6648 Pout, baby, pout 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6649 after I am done with your portrait, can I have you for supper? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6650 It's not supposed to be you, I'm an impressionist 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6651 "Recognising oneself is the first step to self-actualization" - Paleolithic life-coaching 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6652 Updating status on Cavewall. #LoveMyMammoth 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6653 I'm leaving out the tusks. In a few thousand years, they'll look very dated. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6654 I assure you, your portrait will be famous for centuries! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6655 And what shall we name thee? “Big Bony Ones” or “Droopy?” 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6656 Don't grunt. I did this with you behind me! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6657 Ok, now just like the bulls, I'm going to draw your picture here and you and I will be really famous one day, ok!? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6658 What do you mean? It looks exactly like you! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6659 That's all for today, we are losing the light. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6660 Please, just one little smile 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6661 Great memory or not, the sketch still looks like every other elephant 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6662 I'm not gonna talk to you; get out of here! You are a fake elephant! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6663 You stuff them - THEN you paint them. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6664 Oh, stop pouting and put aside your pachyderm pride. I'm the painter and I want a profile, not a portrait! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6665 My ears are not that small! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6666 Turn that Lasqaux-l into a La-smile 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6667 The wooly coat is artistic license. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6668 Almost through. Just hold still and keep smiling. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6669 Allright I'll add a scale of 1:50, ok? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6670 No, I won’t stick an actual spear in you rear. Now lift the trunk! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6671 They say arts funding has dried up, but I had no trouble getting a federal grant. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6672 That's not my best side. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6673 Trust me, no one wants a portrait with a big nose. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6674 Yes, I'll photo-shop the stretch marks. Keep still! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6675 Paint me like one of your Paleolithic girls. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6676 Those troglodytes have no concept of realism. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6677 Try to look more dangerous. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6678 Sorry, airbrushing doesn't exist yet. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6679 Cut me some slack, will ya? I only have one good arm! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6680 You're still big; it's the picture that got small! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6681 Pay for two more centuries and I'll do tusks. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6682 Sorry buddy, you are a magnificent creature, but pigment supply is scarce. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6683 Oh yeah? Well, I could crush your career! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6684 No, we are not writing cursive today! 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6685 Don’t think you’re so special. I always hit on my models. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6686 Yeah, I know it’s small, but you can’t seem to grasp that I’m working on what I call a “ landscape.” 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6687 My kids think painting anything but a selfie makes me a dinosaur. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6688 I'd prefer an andy Warhol interpretation 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6689 Make me a warm gray 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6690 That's a rerun. I'm leaving to see what's on the next cave. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6691 Try more for a "Come Hither" expression. Right now, the eyes are a bit dead. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6692 Again, how do you spell your name? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6693 Let’s face it, the Mona Lisa, you are not! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6694 I got the idea from something I saw in Primitive Living magazine. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6695 I asked for someone with big tits, not tusks 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6696 It took millions of years to get me here. I'm not starting over with your "good side". 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6697 Before the free trial ends, please enter your billing information. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6698 You think it's easy painting without numbers? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6699 This isn't working -- I want your "Warm & Fuzzy" showing. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6700 Do you have a reservation? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6701 1. The nouveau riche loves this crap. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6702 I don't sign my work and no, you cannot have a copy! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6703 Stop moving your trunk! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6704 Stop moving, I'm trying to practice for my art class. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6705 I know the tusks are bigger, but you have to stand sideways. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6706 I know your feet hurt but if you don't stay still I can't capture their beauty! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6707 NO, I will NOT do another! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6708 Hey! What's with the punim? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6709 I am afraid that artistic integrity demands that I keep the wrinkles. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6710 Steve Bannon's ancestor in the Cave of Altarighta 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6711 Who do you think I am? Kehinde Wiley? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6712 Famous, famouse, or famice...which has the best ring to it? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6713 Stop aping like a rhino and just be yourself. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6714 Dude, totally fine if you want to crash here, but why do you keep staring at my picture? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6715 Stop complaining. You could be doing this naked. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6716 How do we feel about the orange? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6717 Some are calling it, "Mod Rock." We're so past the realism of yesterday. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6718 "Follows the herd" isn't the best caption for your profile pic. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6719 The three kinds of flowers represent places in your past. It's a rock-cool portrait. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6720 Ok it's done!! Now i need come up with a name for an art movement... 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6721 Turn your head a bit left, please. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6722 Because if I were a Democratic strategist, I would be talking to whatever donkeys are gonna evolve from, alright!? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6723 How can you look fat when this is a two dimensional painting? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6724 I am supposed to understand our relationship because you can draw a picture of me? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6725 Stop sucking in this may take a while 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6726 Be easy now . The stick puts on ten pounds. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6727 Felt the poetic license was kosher. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6728 No, you don't look too crepey. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6729 TUSKS OR TUNK - That's the problem! THE REST IS THE CHISEL 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6730 Tusks are behind the paywall. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6731 The first fresco in Tusk-any 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6732 Take a hint. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6733 Are you sure he wasn't taller than this? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6734 You're making me look like a mammoth" "Tusk-tusk, everyone's a critic 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6735 Just a little caveshopping to accentuate your trunk 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6736 Okay, now you're whimsical; now you're a little naughty. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6737 You'd have better luck finding your kid if I drew a bunch of these on some Dimetrodons. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6738 I don't know what a selfie is? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6739 Our presidential portraiture style will capture your youth and slender figure for ages 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6740 Yeah, yeah -- you're very horny. You tried that same tired joke yesterday. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6741 Could you get me the burnt sienna? I think I left it in the trunk. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6742 I think I look better without all the ivory. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6743 Someday you will regret this symbol.... 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6744 The volcanic light really highlights your facial features. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6745 Hold still, I always mess this part up... dang ripplin sinew.. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6746 I call this naive perspective. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6747 Don't make me look too horny. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6748 Lose 3 lbs. Wait, make it 4. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6749 I'd like more junk in her trunk. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6750 I want you to draw me like one of your Egyptians. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6751 No, I hadn't considered foreshortening. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6752 Don't tell me how to draw or I'll never put the tusks on! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6753 Would you mind staying still? This is the third time we’re trying! I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for posterity! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6754 They say the wall adds ten pounds. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6755 Could you hold your breath? You're putting out my light. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6756 No....you won't look fat from this angle. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6757 Don't "tusk tusk" me; I'm out of paint. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6758 I'm tired. Why don't you just do a self-portrait from memory? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6759 No peeking. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6760 Well, don't just stand there...do something. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6761 What? You think you could do better? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6762 I didn't say you could look yet -- get back in profile. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6763 I asked the agency for a mammoth and they sent me a runt like you. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6764 Now if you could move a little to the right 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6765 Just think about it... you will always represent Neanderthals 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6766 You DON'T look fat. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6767 Hold still a little longer. I don't quite have your tusks. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6768 Never mind the elephant in the room, I think something's burning. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6769 You don't think there's a mammoth likeness? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6770 It's a heffalump. I am beyond primitive realism. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6771 Well I do forget so be still. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6772 When I say hut, you go long. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6773 I'm done with trying to straighten you out! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6774 I've got a pretty good memory as well Susan, and I distinctly remember you calling me a Neaderthal! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6775 It was only a half hour after he put down his chisel that the entire cave filled with molten lava, forever erasing another work of art. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6776 ‘My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around’ is easier said than done. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6777 I just discovered fire, give me a few million years before I get to realism. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6778 Typical! Just as I've finished you say you'd prefer a tyrannosaurus. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6779 Can you follow this? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6780 Will you stop moving? It's really difficult for me if you keep moving 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6781 How can it be too traditional!? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6782 For posterity, turn slightly to the left and tilt your head. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6783 Traditional is fine here but pink elephants would look super in your baby's room. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6784 I know you're mammoth in size but I'm still calling this a mastodon. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6785 Trust me. You're gonna be mammoth. "Trust me. You're gonna be mammoth. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6786 Stop staring! You'll be famous one day because of me! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6787 Don't forget you aren't suppose to move. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6788 I'm sure you don't have any trouble remembering what I look like. Just hold your trunk back up or I'll never be able to finish. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6789 Of course you're sexier; this isn't impressionism. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6790 The light is perfect. Don't sneeze! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6791 No. No. I'm almost done. You're just gonna have to hold it. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6792 Eventually, your children, a calf will become the African Elephant with a life span of 70 years. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6793 You're disgusting. It's obviously a tail. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6794 You’re sure this is the one? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6795 Why hold still? So I can immortalize your species if it goes extinct. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6796 The more you move, the longer this is going to take 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6797 It's the first painting since I discovered track lighting. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6798 I know this is public cave property but I am making a political statement here. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6799 I’m afraid those molars will need to come out. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6800 So, my wife had the kid, took off to her mother's cave and that's the last I've seen of her! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6801 I’m just confirming my reservation for tomorrow. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6802 You're too thin-skinned! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6803 you are a little too tense,relax 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6804 Your body is a tool, not a work of art in itself. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6805 Say "cheeeese". 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6806 Hey , stand still or I'll make it look like a duck with stubby legs! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6807 Barney, stop that. No mugging. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6808 Perfect. Now stay frozen just like that for the next million years. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6809 For the last time, I don't know what a "French girl" is. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6810 You'll have to wait a million years for a frontal view 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6811 Hold hat pose. No, a little to the right. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6812 Hold still. And don't turn around. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6813 I don't care if it does make you look fat, I'm not going to 'shave off' ten pounds. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6814 I don't want the tusks. I just want you to stand still. Get it? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6815 Tilt you trunk a little to the left. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6816 Put the trunk back up and stay in pose or I am not paying you. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6817 I call it "Mastodon sans Tusk" 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6818 Pre-historic police sketch artist 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6819 Its art. I don't care what you think. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6820 Would you quit moving!? I will paint the fire instead! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6821 You should've seen the ass that was here before you... 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6822 Could you turn just a bit to the left, please? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6823 Just one more standing and we'll be done -bellissimo! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6824 Really? Well if you think this is so easy, why don't you draw your own #%@$& portrait? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6825 Sorry but the firelight adds a few pounds 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6826 Hold still Mona, I am trying to capture your smile. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6827 You blinked. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6828 If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times, you do not look fat. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6829 Paint me like one of your Lascaux mammoths 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6830 You mastodon, me artodon, so quit fidgeting and hold still. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6831 “In ten thousand years people will be gasping at the beauty and authenticity of my artwork..... In the meantime, I call it my post-Neanderthal period. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6832 Thank you, I won't forget this. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6833 Trust me, I know a white elephant when I see one. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6834 I'm drawing a less mammoth version of you. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6835 Now they can't ignore you. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6836 Of course my color choices are not accurate--you know nothing of Fauvism. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6837 Well, I am painting from memory since you stepped on my eyeglasses. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6838 How big do you want me to draw your tusks? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6839 Working multiple jobs that pay peanuts caught up with him. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6840 Dammit, stay still! It's bad enough in this light! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6841 Look! I can only make the tusks long! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6842 "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes". 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6843 Stand still, will ya!? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6844 Yes it’s small, it’s a miniature portrait. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6845 One invention leads to another. First I invented fire and then charcoal. Next I'm going to invent black-face comedy acts. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6846 Don’t move, and you will be immortal! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6847 It may take awhile but someday I'm going to be famous! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6848 I know how GOP is not how you spell elephant. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6849 Yes, this will scale for Tinder. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6850 It's gestural, I'm not a camera. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6851 Just hold it for a few more minutes... this light pops your eyes and the angle is so slimming. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6852 ...And you're comfortable standing for a while? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6853 Beats a saber-toothed tiger, I guess. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6854 Don't worry, Photoshop will take off at least 200 pounds. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6855 I wouldn't have to restart if your sneezing would stop! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6856 Turn your head a bit, would you? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6857 That's not my flattering side; try again. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6858 This is not an elephant 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6859 Can you show me a little more skin? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6860 Hey, uhh, I know it's abstract and all but why are those guys pointing their spears at me? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6861 Can you move your tusk a little to the left? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6862 Tell me more about this “ wheel” cause I’m out of ideas. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6863 I said hold the pose, godammit! I bet they didn’t have these problems at Lascaux! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6864 I did not forget the tusks. I just haven't drawn them yet. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6865 No, I don’t have a mirror. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6866 Hold still while I invent chiaroscuro. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6867 You'll be competing against an ass; go figure... 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6868 This is my first paleo-conservative yard sign. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6869 I agree; your left profile is much nicer. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6870 Pose again next Tuesday? Leftover sabretooth snacks. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6871 How do you spell barbeque? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6872 Now can you see how much better looking you're gonna be without them?! 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6873 -"That looks nothing like me Mike", -"Relax Lox! Its just a rough sketch". 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6874 I'm sorry, but this is my minimalist phase. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6875 I hope body shaving is a passing fad for you Woolly Mammoths. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6876 Sorry Bob, but the editors want you staring at an ass. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6877 Okay, now smize. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6878 God damn it... Stand still. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6879 Your kids will love having this some day!! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6880 Don’t make me look fat. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6881 I need to get this done while there is still time. Your climate change denial won’t save you. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6882 Star Date 2266: "Dammit Jim, can't you remember that I'm a doctor, not a prehistoric police sketch artist!" 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6883 Okay that's real life now do Instagram. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6884 Stand still, dammit! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6885 We could get this done a lot faster if we actually just used one of your tusks. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6886 She said you wouldn't mind. Ask her! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6887 I think we should keep those tusks a surprise. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6888 Ok to submit this portrait of your kid to the missing creatures list ? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6889 I'm just saying that the whole woolly look is passe. The trend is toward less bulky, fashion forward designs. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6890 Don't forget, this is how selfies started out. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6891 It isn't supposed to look exactly like you. You want my grandson Picasso to give it another try? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6892 If you had big hands I’d add the tusks. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6893 In a thousand years people will wonder what it is. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6894 Turn a little to the left. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6895 Look alive, Bertha! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6896 It would only be a mistake of mammoth proportions if I said I was done... 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6897 Fleetwood Mac songs? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6898 Stop complaining your tusks don't look Presidential enough! People don't appreciate me either! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6899 Here's your selfie. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6900 We now have much more time to focus on this painting, since Jognar left me for Grognak 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6901 I hope people will like this wall posting. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6902 Something for scale, perhaps? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6903 oh no, I have to retake it. You closed your eyes again! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6904 no, you may not take a bathroom break. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6905 Can you help me think of a funny caption for this? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6906 Can you turn a little to the left, please? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6907 I’m calling this a cartoon. If Wilma asks, I’m saying its name is Dino 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6908 No tusks - you've been re-branded as a metro-mastodon. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6909 Look, those volcanoes outside are gonna blow in 10 minutes tops, and you're critiquing my brushwork? Get over yourself. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6910 No, I won't make your tusks larger. This is not a two dimensional avatar of unobtainable standards. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6911 I don't do 'bigly'! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6912 Don't you want to be remembered for more then the size of your tusks? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6913 I want the world to know about my love for you. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6914 WAIT A MINUTE, AND CHEER UP I'M YOUR TUTOR 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6915 Maybe draw my other side, it’s my best side. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6916 this has to last for millenia, so hold those tusks still. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6917 No need to feel shy. Nothing in the world is more beautiful or significant of the laws of the universe than the naked female body. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6918 I made a nice picture of you- now tickle me with those ivories. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6919 Day 56: My drawing seems to have improved, but I still can't figure out why this giant hamster is growing bones out of its body. To draw or not to draw the bones? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6920 Please stop moving and hold still. I'm trying to work here. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6921 Please focus! Or I’ll readjust your tusk to trunk ratio. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6922 Okay, now smize. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6923 What did you expect for a yearbook photo? 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6924 Make sure you get my eyes right. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6925 Any personal message? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6926 The first iteration of Uber. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6927 Hold still. I can't seem to get your nose-thingy right. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6928 I think we need to make you cuter. You know, like they did with Mickey Mouse? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6929 Just turn towards the entrance so I can get your tusks right. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6930 Go next door if you want your trunk to look smaller. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6931 Hold still! 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
6932 Would you like me to airbrush those wrinkles a bit? 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6933 Don't give me your 'fake news' face. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6934 My tar pits are the critics. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6935 Stop complaining... at least you'll be famous after history begins. 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
6936 This is you in another thousand years. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6937 Keep still, dammit. This is for posterity. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6938 Oh, come on! It’s my very, very first try! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6939 OK, listen up Twinkletoes. . . you can do this ballet pirouette if you lose 5 pounds; never underestimate the power of positive thinking! 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6940 What do you mean I'm not addressing the elephant in the room? 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6941 Please don't forget who drew this. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6942 ...if he is coming from the right, give him priority. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6943 Someday you will belong 2 the Russians. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6944 Yes,yes, I know. Your eyes are blue, and I can take the red out! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6945 I don't want to be captioned...Do you? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6946 Can you sit.those tusks are making me very nervous. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6947 Small tusks look really strange at first, but trust me, it will be the new normal. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6948 No...pass it here, I’ll do a selfie 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6949 I am making you small because you are not kosher. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6950 I think your slogan should be "Four More Years!" 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6951 I'm going to need a banana for scale. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6952 Don't be ridiculous. Horns or tusks, you choose. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6953 Yes, it's your good side and no, nobody likes a pachyderm with thin skin. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6954 Would some pornography help? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6955 How does signing B.C sound for "Bi.Cusp?" 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6956 Could you just move an inch to the left? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6957 Smile! You're on Candid Camera! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6958 It's not really so hard to hold your trunk out straight. So do it! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6959 Don't just stand there pick up a pant Pot and Blow. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6960 No, you may not wear a tutu. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6961 Get the hell outta here! You're the model, I'm the artist. You just stand there and smile. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6962 For the last time, stop moving your trunk! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6963 It's called post-modernism, okay? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6964 You can fahgettaboud any peanuts until this thing is carved in stone. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6965 Sorry, I don't have enough ink to do you justice. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6966 Wait. How do you spell mammoth? I always get that one wrong. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6967 Be patient, I made a D on my Famous Artist's test. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6968 Hold still or it will look like a stick figure. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6969 Can't you paint inside the lines?! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6970 I paint only in profile. Sorry. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6971 Good Lord! I'm not that fat! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6972 this thing's for the ages man; don't ask me to make it obscene 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6973 Everyone is posting a picture of themselves, am going to post your picture and change the game of the walls and be the talk of the caves 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6974 I said, "Trunk Out!" Can't you remember anything? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6975 No one is going to believe that your horns are THAT long. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6976 That’s right, Woolly. No one draws mammoths like I do. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6977 Because some of us need help to remember things. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6978 Framed? That's five bucks extra. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6979 Smile for Daddy, say cheese, let's see those pearlies. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6980 You are amazing! And how long were his tusks? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6981 a remarkable example of modern art 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6982 Nobody will ever believe that you're just a baby 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6983 I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6984 What do you want me to do, make you look like a stick? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6985 If you can only remember, DUMBO, I did say twice ‘bring Air-brush’ . Sorry the trunk will not work! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6986 These new 5 kilobristle brushes are just fantastic! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6987 You know it always adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6988 To Scale? You don’t have that that long! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6989 Stop moving, i'm gonna mess up your portrait! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6990 ...and now if you could please move your trunk to catch your smile. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6991 Is this a good depiction of the guy who stole your car? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6992 It's my cave, so the IP is mine. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6993 Mammoth: “Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. “ Jack: “Very funny!” 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
6994 Limp trunk and all. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6995 When your homeschooled and your only friend is your pet 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6996 You'll live forever now. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6997 This is you and your kind .... this is my kind ...... and your kind will die out. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6998 I think you over did it on the Viagra Big Boy! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6999 No ivory competition. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7000 Turn sideways. It's way too early for me to have any perspective on you. 1.1224 0.06921 49 46 0 3
7001 Stay still, this will immortalize you. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7002 Hold still. It's the only way I can get this drawing done...and prevent you from eating me. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7003 Stand still or I'm adding 500 pounds and a ton of fur. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7004 Believe me Lady, it will be priceless. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7005 You look great - everyone knows the cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7006 Yes, you're pregnant. It's a girl. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7007 What do you mean not stately enough? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7008 The lifestyle is okay but the pay is peanuts. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7009 An artist needs the bear necessities 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7010 Thank you for coming over on such short notice. My earlier subject had too much junk in her trunk. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7011 Could you roll your nose up ? I’m running out of room. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7012 No I am not deweaponizing reality. This is the daycare cave. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7013 Would it be better if I were sitting? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7014 Aw yes, I've done it"... " I've made me another, know i have more food then just one of these beast 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7015 Make yourself at home, dude. One hour of modeling gets you a gourmet cave salad of fruit, leaves, shoots, bark & roots, how's that? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7016 Please spread the word that I'm giving 10% discounts on commissions. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7017 Tonight everyone at the prehistoric gala will be blown away by my painting of you! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7018 Someday you could become a mascot ... either for a Republican, or maybe an oligarch ... or with time, perhaps both! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7019 If you don't stop moving I will have to put you back in the trunk 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7020 Quit complaining and stand still. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7021 I told you I want a profile 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7022 Sorry, I didn’t notice it was right over the fire. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7023 I’m sorry, “artistic license” can only do so much. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7024 No worries. The scetch puts on 10 pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7025 First one over the Alps. This one goes on the front page! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7026 You put one foot in front of the other. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7027 I love how intricate the painting is. It's visual poetry. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7028 Trust me you look better without your tusks 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7029 I have an extensive spear collection we could peruse instead. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7030 It symbolizes how she never wants to talk about my paintings. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7031 Keep still. You look more like an elephant -- whatever that is. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7032 People loved my cat paintings, but I didn’t love those people. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7033 No...by the time this found graffiti will be considered in art. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7034 No...by the time this found graffiti will be considered in art. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7035 You know I'm not good at realistic portraits. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7036 I'm only putting the mouse in the drawing for scale. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7037 The oven is standard. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7038 If this works out, cave-dwellers hence will pray to this image for power. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7039 It's Impressionism, you big lummox! 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7040 Be still I have to get those tusks just right for posterity. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7041 Smile, Mona 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7042 I thought you were wise? It's called a selfie. Now stay still. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7043 It was love at first sight ! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7044 No. It doesn't look too big. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7045 Quit your nagin'. This is the before pic, now I'll do the after. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7046 ‘’ C’mom, take your own selfie if you don’t like my way!’’ 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7047 Smile. I want to capture your smile. (Okay to improve this caption if others can) 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7048 Oh yeah? Well, he who smelt it dealt it! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7049 The stone wall adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7050 Does this make you look fat? 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7051 Are you sure you don't want a larger portrait? I can do larger, up to 2 or your feet in size. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7052 It's a mammoth portrait all the same. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7053 No one will believe the P T Barium would so day name you Jumbo. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7054 Its a primitive painting it is suppose to be stylistically simple and naive 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7055 Believe me, if we match your tusk & your hoof size, they'll never know about the other problem? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7056 Should I make you look a little taller so you don't appear to be obese? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7057 Pay Attention. You never remember anything 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7058 “What do you mean, ‘Finish the picture’? No cockamamie idea of fire will ever make it off the cave floor.” —A Portrait of the Artist as a Pessimist 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7059 Sir, this drawing will later help to illustrate the effectiveness of our company's woolly mammoth hair restoration process. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7060 Can’t you chisel faster? I’ll be extinct before you finish 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7061 Sorry, bur I've already booked the rhino. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7062 I know it's hot but I need the light. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7063 Ugh, you got my nose all wrong. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7064 Oh Jack, paint me like on of your neolithic girls. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7065 Everyone is an art critic. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7066 Don't tusk it up. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7067 A little to the left please, that's it, that's it. :) 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7068 Can't you remember to hold still! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7069 The last guy drew me running away from a mouse. He still hasn't forgotten what I did to him. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7070 Original "Man-splaining". 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7071 stand still! i need to get your good side 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7072 I told you Nose Up 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7073 Ok, I'm putting you in but not those hot things you brought in here, whatever they might be. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7074 Shall I draw your mammoth as is? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7075 We have bears and bulls at the market already. What’s your gig. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7076 Whadaya mean it doesn't look like you? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7077 The lighting in here is lousy. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7078 Hey Who is the Master here Don! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7079 Elephant thinking "This session isn't helping my mouse problem..." 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7080 There's this idea in portraiture that you have to put your subject at ease. I just don't agree. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7081 I told you to wait in the car 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7082 Well, sir, I see a Picasso you're not. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7083 Well if you won’t blow your own trumpet... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7084 Tusks? No this is a glance into your future. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7085 Lift your snout up! Hooga never had to work under these conditions, I swear. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7086 Try not to blink. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7087 I said, “on three say cheese” NOT “on three cut the cheese”!! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7088 Paint me like one of your cave women. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7089 I agree, you’re better looking than this. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7090 Left your glasses again ? This is his first of four ex-wives! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7091 Don't forget to paint my "other" trunk. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7092 Move your trunk a little to the left, please. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7093 Yes, you are impressive. But you're no woolly mammoth. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7094 They LOVE you SO much. They all want an itsy elephant carving for their coffee tables. One hitch - they're willing to saw off your face to get one. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7095 So how do you like this picture of yourself? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7096 So ... I’m trying to capture your natural lighting, I may need to move the fire. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7097 Why do you make me do this? They're gonna clone you anyway. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7098 Hold Still, Hold Still, why? You're drawing looks like a toddlers' no matter how still I am. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7099 They just can't get my nose right. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7100 Millions of years later, persons with teeth will rip your tusks out. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7101 There. Is that better? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7102 Stay still or in 50,000 years people won’t mention you are in the room ! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7103 One more crack like that and I'll plaster you. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7104 You can TiVo Survivor Pangea. The game's about to start. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7105 No, you cannot go out and play...and furthermore, where is the rest of your herd? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7106 And i'm spent. Can you come back on Thursday? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7107 What do you mean, ‘swipe left’? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7108 The mammoth whisperer apologizes as he writes down his behavioural impression 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7109 You are a much more cooperative model than the last dinosaur. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7110 What do you mean, it's not big enough? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7111 My foyer is not really a "room", and you are not here anyway. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7112 Get the Fluffer! His trunk is down again. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7113 This is the girl I remember. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7114 Now, don't move or you'll ruin it. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7115 No, I'm not making you look like Napoleon; but, frankly, you could be confused with a Republican. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7116 OK, take your break. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7117 The special includes two wallet-sized. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7118 Learning about the self is the most beneficial education you can aquire. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7119 What?! The fire adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7120 those tusks are too hard to draw 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7121 Stay still; I'm mastodon. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7122 I’m sorry, but pictures always make you look 10 pounds heavier. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7123 This new paleo diet is killing my models. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7124 Hold still! I want this political junk mail ad to look perfect before we visit the next cave. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7125 The Search party? Oh, yes. We just seated them. They were unusually bitter about their FRUITLESS day and all seemed to finally agree it was DESSERT TIME. So I brought them a bowl of berries. berries. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7126 BIGGER 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7127 Move a bit to the right , will ya ? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7128 Hey, you said you wanted a selfie, so, hold still. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7129 I’m tweeting. I hate fake news, my GOP friend. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7130 What? Make the tusks bigger? Okay, okay. Geez, take it easy, lard ass. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7131 I want you to promise me you won't forget this. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7132 Tusk enhancement, huh? I'm doing you au naturel. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7133 Stop complaining! What am I, Picasso? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7134 Will you please stop moving and get back into position. I am trying to capture details here. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7135 Less of a smile! I told you we are going for enigmatic here. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7136 Another break? People won’t say it’s a masterpiece if I finish after the Ice Age is over! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7137 This is how you'll look once the swelling goes down. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7138 I can’t wait ‘til they see this! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7139 That's a dirty trick to barbecue my trunk!! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7140 Gosh 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7141 This is the last one. No more pictures on our wall! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7142 Well, if you'd stop moving... 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7143 You can take a cave room break right now. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7144 You should have just stopped when you discovered that fire. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7145 Do you want me to draw you a picture of the plane? And to explain why you don’t have to remember your name to accompany me as my emotional support animal? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7146 I feel like you're not taking this seriously enough. How about a little more tusk? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7147 Ray Romano? What’s a Ray Romano? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7148 No I said draw me like one of your French girls, Jack! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7149 You have a nice profile. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7150 I don’t think airbrushing has been invented yet. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7151 I'm trying to get your best side. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7152 Just hold still––and I won't charge you. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7153 I know, I know, but you didn't tell me this was an ivory-free zone! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7154 I know today's a summer Friday, but I can't just spell that out for them. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7155 This campaign spend will be a waste of money if you can’t play to the moderates. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7156 Help me!! There's a wholly mammoth in our cave! Never let a wholly mammoth get in our cave again! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7157 Yes, i know the light adds 10 pounds! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7158 You don't mind if I show you what's under my dress, do you? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7159 This is why you should have asked Kehinde Wiley or Amy Sherald! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7160 I want you to draw me like one of your mastodon girls. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7161 Hold still, please. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7162 Hold still & keep your trunk up! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7163 The light really captures your eyes. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7164 You're half the animal I was looking for. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7165 The light captures your essence... oh, and please remember how invented fire. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7166 No girls. No peanuts. This is one night I will be forgetting, Fred. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7167 Come back in 30 minutes, the guy over there should leave his heavenly table. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7168 Keep still! Your tusks are wiggling! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7169 Hold still , dammit ! I'm almost done! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7170 Hey! I told you to stand still! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7171 Look here! I might not be Yousuf Karsh, but I AM pretty good. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7172 I'll paint your better side once you're roasted. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7173 What? But 'Me' is only one syllable. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7174 I'm cave painting you like one of my French mammoths. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7175 I'll do two more and you can choose the one you like. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7176 I still don't want to talk about you! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7177 I said, don’t move during your portrait. How could you forget that? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7178 Ned, at Stoneage Pet Portraits frustrated by bad cave lighting, decides to try it left handed 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7179 I am NOT making you look fat! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7180 I'll do another -- your eyes were closed. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7181 You'll look much better after we do the nose and the teeth. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7182 If you’re tired we can take five 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7183 The cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7184 Sex Ed Two Hundred Thousand One: "Now this is called a fetus!" 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7185 A Little to your left please 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7186 I am only able to paint a profile. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7187 Hey Gronk... check with the modeling agency. We asked for a Wooly Mammoth, but I think they sent us a measly Mastodon. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7188 Everybody's a critic, sheesh! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7189 Stop moving! I am just learning to draw tusks! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7190 Just five more minutes and I will make you immortal. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7191 Nobody said this would be easy. You want to be immortal or not?? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7192 Cheeeeeeese. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7193 Hey, relax! I told you I’m new at this! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7194 Tony, I know it doesn't look like you." "It's stone-age impressionism 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7195 Don't look so judging, would you rather I waste my day texting? 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7196 Do you want a full frontal or would you prefer a profile carving? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7197 Hush. Your supposed to appear for another 500.000 years. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7198 Look, the deal was you can stay warm in here but you have to remain still. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7199 Turn your head a little to the left... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7200 You are my mammoth muse and don't ever forget it 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7201 I want to see all your teeth not just the two 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7202 You are not getting my best features, now try again. Lets do a little better next time. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7203 I don't do portraits. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7204 Pretty crude I know but remember this is the Stone Age. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7205 OK, I'll knock off a few pounds. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7206 Because until I have Auto-CAD, I can't make it 3-dimensional. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7207 Yeah, I know it's not your 'good side'...but what's important here is that you be facing the past. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7208 No! I can’t make you look skinnier! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7209 I know it's hot, stand closer to the fire I'm loosing the light. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7210 Now, if I could only make him stand still until I finish this picture. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7211 Announce Kaku 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7212 Paint me like one of yor french girls. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7213 Fuhgeddiboudit! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7214 It's not "Art" ... it's Politics. If it were "Art" I wouldn't still be a CAVE MAN, now would I ? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7215 I will call this miniature art. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7216 Christ...its called chiaroscuro. Satisfied? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7217 Smile 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7218 We will CGI the tusks in post... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7219 Very funny-No, I don't work for peanuts! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7220 In the future, you'll be famous for fifteen minutes. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7221 How do you spell Mammuthus primigenius? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7222 I don't care if your inner spirit says " gym bunny". 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7223 I don't do impressionism! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7224 I appreciate feedback, but for more effective chiaroscuro you need wait 20,000 more years. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7225 It's called 'forced' perspective! You know, like your critique? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7226 Parietal picture or they won't believe you. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7227 Do something silly, it's a Boomerang. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7228 You STILL think it makes you look big? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7229 Stay still my friend. I've gotta get this right before the volcanoes bury you and your kind. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7230 Come on, Mona... a little smile. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7231 You have ascended to the plateau of mediocrity. Behind me are the frozen remains of climbers who succumbed to attitude sickness and a thinly drawn atmosphere. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7232 This is the last Elephant in the Room 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7233 Hold still for just a few more minutes. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7234 That's a boar, not an elephant! Get a day job because you stink as a cave artist. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7235 Lift you trunkeepoo like you are enjoying this! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7236 Do u know sal monella? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7237 Sorry, I told the agency I still need a model that's wooly, with big curved tusks, like the last one they sent. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7238 You're still not smizing! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7239 I am going to sign this the Task of the Tusk 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7240 You do the hokey pokey And you turn yourself around That's what it's all about. That's what it's all about 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7241 Quit your belly-aching....20,000 years from now, who'll give a damn! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7242 Hold still... I am an artist. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7243 Take a half step back...correct lighting is crucial in portrait work! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7244 “If you don’t stop fidgeting we’re going to lose the light! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7245 There is no such thing as a portrait...turn back to profile, please. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7246 Tusk, tusk, tusk Dumbo. This ain't no cartoon. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7247 Tusks, tusks, tusks. Mine are the biggest and greatest ever! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7248 Yes I can show your tusks, but I think it is too risky. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7249 I see Spot. See Spot run. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7250 chemtrails are more pleasant when they make pictures 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7251 They look like a uni-tusk at that angle. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7252 I tell ya, he looked just like you? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7253 Shift your weight to one leg - it's sexier! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7254 I'm looking for a more natural look. So you can drop all the pretensions! ....and those tusks if you please! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7255 Don’t be ridiculous, the chisel adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7256 Hey, don't forget to keep still! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7257 Quit with attitude ---- AND PICK UP A BRUSH! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7258 Listen, I don't care how many covers you've modeled. I built you this fire so you could find your light. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7259 This is part of the algorithm... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7260 You moved your trunk again! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7261 Enough already with the selfies! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7262 So? Some of us find a little reminder helpful, once in a while. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7263 Granted, it does seem a bit of an evolutionary hiccup, but that IS what you look like. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7264 What do you think? More horn? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7265 If you don't fix your attitude, I will put you on ice. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7266 Hold still! We don’t have forever. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7267 Shoulders back, suck it in. The cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7268 Stop wagging the tail! I'm trying to capture your soul here... 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7269 Actually this whole series has already been bought by an art fund in Vancouver. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7270 I never forget a face. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7271 Please keep still - and how do I spell your name? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7272 Stay still! Your alternative portrait is almost done. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7273 Hold still , dammit ! I'm almost done! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7274 For the last time, stop asking me to paint you like one of my French girls. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7275 That's it! now, show me cultural conservatism, nationalistic pride, immigration intolerance! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7276 Immortality isn't cheap. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7277 I told you to keep your trunk hard. Is this how you want to be remembered?! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7278 Hold still. This is for posterity. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7279 There's no need to trumpet. We know about the volcano; it's the elephant in the room. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7280 The impressionists will make you look good in a couple million years. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7281 Sorry it's a bad likeness. There's no such thing as art school. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7282 Just hold still for a minute longer. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7283 Get ready. This game will be on the SEC network. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7284 but how do I let people know it's missing? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7285 What? You think you could do it better? Sheeesh! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7286 Before I finish I need to know, are you a mammoth or a mastodon? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7287 Keep the mouth just like that and smile with the rest of the face 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7288 How to paint a pachyderm. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7289 Size, size! Don't talk to me about Size. This is Art. Talk to me about Art! 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7290 We can swipe left if you want, but there might not be anyone like this for thousands of years 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7291 Please say, "Peanuts." 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7292 You're not getting that right. I was only three then. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7293 I'm not sensing your inner angst. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7294 Not a bad selfie. Now sign it. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7295 Be still! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7296 One more time--this is a girl wooly mammoth. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7297 Not another word about Muybridge! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7298 I would like to paint an impression of you but for that we have to wait 20,000 years. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7299 I want you to think light and look peppy. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7300 Yeah, I know you don’t remember this photo. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7301 It is not the critic that counts... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7302 Our new Hair Club for elephants is gonna be mammoth! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7303 Ye3s a mammoth inside a cave is a big deal. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
7304 How about Arrangement in Grey? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7305 We'll call this place Elephantine Cave and make it famous. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7306 Hey, show me your dick I'm not capturing it well enough 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7307 Not every prehistoric animal can be memorialized forever - hold still! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7308 Carly, you’re so vain! You probably think this is about you don’t you? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7309 Turn around. I'm trying to get your good profile! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7310 So you're an art critic now? Who's this Picasso guy anyway? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7311 Lookin' Macho, Allright! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7312 Hey. You don't have to remember everything. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7313 A 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7314 Now draw me with spear stabbing you. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7315 Hold still, your trunk is dropping again! Do you want to damage your image for posterity? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7316 I dunno...just kinda daydreaming of a Trump-free world and poof! your tusks disappeared 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7317 Almost done. Now don't move. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7318 Wait till I'm done, and THEN tell me to slide left or right, okay? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7319 Don't be so critical; I'm the first to have ever done this. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7320 I won't be able to capture your true essence if you can't stand still. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7321 And this, right under your trunk... I call it wheel. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7322 Does my nose look too big?" "yea. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7323 Damn........I didn't see those in the dark........ 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7324 No more live sessions. Going to work off photographs from now on... 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7325 Yes, I know you’re bigger than that. But you wouldn’t understand —this is ART. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7326 Well, I couldn't find a donkey. Now sit still. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7327 Sorry, I forgot to tell you, a cave wall adds ten pounds. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7328 I keep telling you: look like you're angry. ANGRY! Think of something that makes you mad. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7329 Hold still. Just four more to go. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7330 I know this is a truncated image, but the Sistine Chapel hasn't been built yet. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7331 Steve, make my horns bigger! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
7332 Hold still so I can get the tusks positioned correctly. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
7333 It’s block chain bit tusk. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7334 My therapist says this’ll help me conquer my fears. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7335 1) What do you mean, this must be my "flat period"? 2) I call it a "portrait". And just what the heck is 'emotional impressionism'? 3) No, there's only one color, I named it 'mud'. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7336 I can't draw you any bigger - I have't invented a ladder yet! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7337 Remember, A is for archaeopteryx, B is for brachiosaurus, C is for caudipteryx, D is for diceratops, and E is for elephant! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7338 Would you mind tilting your head up a tad? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7339 I don't care about posterity. It will not have your precious tusks. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7340 Its not my fault you look like an elephant! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7341 Tsk, Tsk. To address the elephant in the room, "What is the biggest threat to our coal industry?" 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7342 That better not be my wife you're painting. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7343 I'm sure no one will even mention it. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7344 I wonder if I’ll be remembered as the author of the first republican billboard. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7345 I don't care if it's you, it's my drawing. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7346 Hold still, these tusks aren’t going to carve themselves. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7347 Wow these police sketch artist are amazing 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7348 Of course it doesn't look like you - I'm a cubist. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7349 You can go take a bathroom break now. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7350 Don't move, there's a fireball coming and its going to cause mammoth changes. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
7351 As a meme it might catch on. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7352 I'm sorry, I forgot your selfie stick. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7353 In this moment we are having a technical crisis. Thankfully our crew and lassie our assisting to help bring a solution to the problem. Please remain patient and once again we are sorry for the inconvenience. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7354 No, I'm not adding a six-pack. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7355 Relax. You know the cave wall adds two hundred pounds. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7356 So I’m left handed, sue me. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7357 It’s your profile. P-R-O-F-I-L-E. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7358 No, I can't spell Mammuthis primigenius. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7359 Come on, I could do a better job than that! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7360 I SAID "STAND STILL"!!! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7361 Hands off if she's under 18 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7362 No, I think the tusks make you look thinner. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7363 Show some patience! Not only will you remember what you look like, you'll be immortal. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7364 Stop fidgeting, or I'll never get your profile right! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7365 No one wants a flaccid nude displayed on their wall. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7366 Horns, tusks! Whatever! I should have spent more time in art school learning to draw them! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7367 hold still. I'm almost done. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7368 Wipe that smile off your trunk, dude. Primordial art is serious business!! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7369 I know you don’t need a painting to remember me. Humor me, okay? 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
7370 I'm going to charge u more if you keep moving 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7371 We just served the last dinner, the kitchen is closed. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7372 Woolly? Do I look like a sheep? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7373 A little to the left... 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7374 That does not look like a French girl Jack. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7375 Please don’t move the tusks. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7376 I told you; it is post-fire genre 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7377 I just do donkeys. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7378 I said "werk it"! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7379 Hold still, I'm working on the symmetry ! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7380 Hold still. My New Year's resolution was to start a food diary. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7381 I feel like I missed a wrinkle. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7382 I'm starting to think these "Found Mastodon" signs won't be worth your owner's reward. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7383 There is justice in this world. Because right after you go extinct, we go extinct. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7384 Make sure to get my good side 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7385 Ugly neandrathal! I forsee you evolving into a donkey. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7386 You're wiggling. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7387 This is how society wants to see you. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7388 Try to hold still. You haven't got all day, you know. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7389 Your brush strokes need work 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7390 I pictured you with bigger ears, actually! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7391 Remember how we made fuschia? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7392 Yeah, looks about right. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7393 Stop it, just stay still, I'm more wooly than you with ever be. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7394 Hold that pose for me. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7395 And unless she rumbles assent keep your trunk to yourself. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7396 Put that thought out of your mind! It changes everything. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7397 It's always easier to vote a straight ticket ! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7398 My nose isn't that big! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7399 ?"Don't move, I'm drawing this week's menu". 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7400 'Why can you never remember to keep still?' 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7401 so you want headshots to apply to this new party? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7402 What are you smiling about? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7403 What, so now you _do_ want it “tusks and all”? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7404 Because you're cross-eyed, and I'm not. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7405 Do you think that cave drawing makes me look fat? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7406 You keep forgetting to hold still 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7407 Make my tusks bigger 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
7408 You'll always be my first. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7409 #nofilter 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7410 You were right, your left side looks the best in this cave light. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7411 Hey!! What did I tell you about downloading inside?! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7412 You looked more intimidating on the cave security hieroglyphic site. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7413 Can you be still or do I have to threaten you with exstinction? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7414 we'll play fetch after drawing time 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
7415 I just don’t want my charcoal to go off the cave. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7416 A bald woolly mammoth? I've got to post this on my wall. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7417 Stand still. Kou can go out and play later. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7418 Don't worry....the curve of the wall makes your trunk in the fire light look smaller. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7419 Hold still. Elephant's these days. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7420 Well, I've tried, Bosco, but somehow I don't think this captures the real you! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7421 Most of us agreed it was high time you got downsized. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7422 If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7423 So does that mean you guys are allowed to date others people? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7424 So... do I add the party hat or not? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7425 Back off. You see the wall about cats painting and now all right of a sudden you’re an artist. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7426 Tuskless and small. Save this. Someone could use this 10,000 years from now and call it "Resistance." 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7427 Thanks for doing this. My wife won't talk to me since the last time I pulled her hair. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7428 Yeah, I know. The chisel always adds five pounds. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7429 Representational is the only style those Neanderthals can appreciate. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7430 Sorry, I don't have room. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7431 As soon as I finish this billboard, you’ll get calls. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7432 The only problem is you can’t eat it. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7433 That's right... my art bring attention to the elephant in the room! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7434 It's called outsider art and someday you'll be famous. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7435 Which one are you pointing to? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7436 No worries, if there's anything you don't like, I can always Photoshop it. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7437 Oh, yeah? Well it wouldn't TAKE eons to complete if you'd hold still!! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7438 Stop fidgeting and hold that pose. Chances are you'll be extinct soon. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7439 You're doing great, but could you remove your skirt too? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7440 If you don't stand still I'll make a carving out of your tusks. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7441 Well, it's not really a selfie since you didn't paint it yourself. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7442 Perfect! Don't move. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7443 Can you move your tusk a little to the left, please? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7444 ARTIST SAYS: It's extra to leave the tusks out. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7445 Uhh, you’ve turned a little too far to the right. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7446 Why, because your future looks bright. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7447 If you don't keep your trunk up no one will recognize you. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7448 Anyway, I read on last week's wall that thigh gaps aren't "in" anymore 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7449 If you keep glaring at me like that you’re going to come across as a massive jerk, not me 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7450 Some day you'll be a political symbol because of my artwork. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7451 I'm sorry, 3-D hasn't been discovered yet. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7452 What do you think? Have I captured the real you? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7453 You must leave NOW! But we'll always have Paris. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7454 Draw me like one of your French girls. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7455 You’re photo bombing my selfie 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7456 This lighting won't do, the fire is too bright. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7457 Would you rather I draw a spherical cow? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7458 No, for your information, I don’t have tusk envy 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7459 For the last time - will you please hold still! 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
7460 No I won't make it bigger for your FaceBook page! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7461 I'm sorry, I don't have any filters. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7462 Show inner you. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7463 Yes,I do blend all my own feces. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7464 You’ll get more arugula when I’m finished! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7465 Enlightenment begins with an entree and coffee. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7466 I'm just not feeling the look. How long would it take you to lose those tusks. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7467 Can you turn sideways, pleaase? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7468 Man's first attempt to obtain ivory. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7469 I'm experimenting with a new style that I call realism. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7470 Hey, I never said I was a Michelangelo. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7471 Keep your trunk still, dammit. How do you expect me to get it right? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7472 Could you turn s bit to the right? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7473 I’ll write this down for your sake, but I’m all set. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7474 Vanity will be a sin. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7475 I’m sick and tired of this same depressed expression whenever you model 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7476 No, my name goes first... 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7477 Next I need a reward amount and a contact number. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7478 Stay still! First I draw you. THEN I roast you. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7479 Coffee, tea, or me? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7480 Now ask me, 'who is the fairest one of all.' 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7481 Don't worry, the paintbrush adds ten pounds. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7482 Smile for the peanut gallery! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7483 Yet again, I say you are a mastodon and not a masta, you slang-loving, egotistical mammal. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
7484 I'm sure I've seen that smile before, somewhere. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7485 The task of your tusks is difficult 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7486 Mona Jumbo, let me get that smile right! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7487 Do you wanna be the new Republican mascot or not? They said "No tusks!" 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
7488 If you share this on Instagram, I do request a credit. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7489 If I draw your tusks I have to start all over. It's just a doodle, who cares? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7490 I promise you, you don't look fat! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7491 Stay still! You will be ffamous in the next millenium. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7492 Babies don't have tusks, do they? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7493 Why do you care how long your legs are when you’re extinct? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7494 My bad. I should have drawn you facing to the right. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7495 Maybe not, but this will still be here long after you're extinct. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7496 Don’t expect Tarpans special teams will just roll over like the Aurochs did Sunday. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7497 Forget about the bigger trunk and tusks, today its all about mileage economy! 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
7498 Someday we'll be famous. Just hold still a bit longer. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7499 This is you on the Paleo diet. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7500 Stop moving, so I can get this right ! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7501 Relax, it's the maquette. 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
7502 Mammoth with Fire, Mammoth with Fire. Mammoth with Fire. Just once I wish they'd let me draw the three-headed Dragon or the helicopter. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7503 You won’t pay my commission unless I make your tusks look larger than who? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7504 God you're ugly. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7505 Yeah well, if your memory is so great, how do you spell mastodon?! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7506 it's not suppose to be a photograph, you know. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7507 Turn a tad to your left, please. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7508 It's "The Secret" 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7509 Next time you'd better come back for a longer sitting. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7510 Look, we're all migratory -- but hold still another minute for the tusks, will you? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7511 Ladies on the walls. Good idea. 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
7512 Yes, he stopped by and yes, I took a message. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7513 The carving adds ten pounds. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7514 Yes Madam, I know you’ll be extinct soon! But don’t worry, I got your good side! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7515 Move a tiny bit to the right 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7516 This is a ten minute pose. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7517 Hold still. This needs to look good for at least 40,000 years. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7518 If you won't hold the pose, I'll shove your trunk in the fire again!' 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7519 Draw me Jarry. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7520 They 're supposed to be primitive. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7521 If you wanted life-size, we should have leased a two-bedroom. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7522 No, I can't make you look ten tons lighter 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7523 The first Presidential portrait. Evyn, AAHS, Alexandria, MN There's an elephant in the room. Hunter, AAHS, Alexandria, MN 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7524 Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your woolly mammoths. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7525 Lascaux get a fern frappé when we get done here. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7526 Do I bore you? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7527 Now let's have that fabulous Mona Lisa smile. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7528 I make you look sympathetic, Mastodon Corleone. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7529 sorry, I can't do hands 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7530 Paleo-Artisinal-MFA Program, Brooklyn, NY, 2018 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7531 The dim upwards lighting from the fire will help project t-- oh forget it. It'll never be as good as the Obama's. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7532 Don't worry, I will paint you look better than elephant. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7533 This is how WE never forget, , hunting you to extinction. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7534 How am I going to capture your essence if you won't stay still? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7535 I'm making your tusks bigger to really impress modern man. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7536 Why don't you go back to the peanut gallery? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7537 Maybe lean in a little closer at the tar pit next time because I think it's a great likeness!!! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7538 A little to the left. Try to look a little more hopeful. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7539 Keep still. I wanna get the mouth right. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7540 I don't care what you say, I 'm the stable genius here! 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7541 When I'm done we'll talk about the mammoth in the room. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7542 Stop wining, this is modern realism. 1.1176 0.06655 51 48 0 3
7543 I'm painting the one who's outside. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7544 You've come a long way baby! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7545 I don't care if TRUMP is a liddle word! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7546 Slow, even, calm breaths and hold your trunk straight! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7547 you want to look more regal? jeez, how picky do elephants get? my dad taught me, not some professional artist. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7548 Don't get your tusks in an uproar. I'm workin' for peanuts too. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7549 The Elephant says "make sure you get my good side" 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7550 I need to paint this one. It’s so rare to find an elephant with tusks in place, unchained, or not performing the tricks these days. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
7551 Stay still or this could take eons. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
7552 Pay? This is an unpaid internship. 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
7553 Draw me like one of your french prehistoric beasts. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7554 Your not going to last forever . . The First Selfie 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7555 It's the price you pay for coming in to get warm. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7556 It's too small? No problem. Wait till they photo-shop it! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7557 The lighting adds a few pounds. 1.1154 0.05924 52 48 2 2
7558 Keep smiling. It'll look better in time to come. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7559 Don't worry, the cave paint always adds about ten pounds. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7560 "for the last time" your tusk are normal size 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7561 How much longer until realism is invented? 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
7562 For an extra $20, you can get both the trunk a/nd the penis. Your call. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7563 Oh, boy! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7564 Smile, damnit 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7565 One day we'll both be rich and famous. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
7566 They said this paint would last 30 thousand years, but I think we'll be lucky to make it to the neolithic era. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
7567 New to modeling nude? 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
7568 No.... I can't draw you like one of my 'French girls.' And for the last time, my name is Thurl, not Jack. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
7569 Don't mean to rush, but I told the agency to send over a Rhino. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
7570 You call that a "come hither" look? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7571 I tried the idea of square before but our people are so primitive for that! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7572 ??Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you?? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7573 No, my background scenery landscapes haven't arrived yet. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7574 What do you mean by “temporary”? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7575 I know what you are thinking. FORGET IT, if you can! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7576 I told you, the 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7577 OK - ready for your close-up! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7578 I know you're tired...Just a few minutes more... 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7579 Hold still! Soon you will be extinct and I won' t be able to draw you! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7580 Sure, we could move to Lascaux, but they're all about the tusks there. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7581 Smile, Dammit, Smilr 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7582 Remember she exists only in your memory. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7583 Someday your future ancestors won't have a pair of tusks and a long snout. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7584 They won't be able to tell that you're a Mastodon, not .a Mammoth! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7585 It would look better if you didn't move so much! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7586 Well yes, but I have to draw something or they'll get suspicious. Now hold up those tusks! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7587 Elephants don't get modern art. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7588 When I'm done, this will be a masterpiece across time! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7589 Now please turn, for your next profile. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7590 "my what large tusks you have" Hold still or you will be dinner. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7591 So what's different about me? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7592 2018 SpaceX’s heavy launch soon - Elly the great, lasting impression on earth. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7593 I think I know a thing or two about expressing truth in wool, Kevin! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7594 Do pay attention, double-0 seven. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7595 Lay off the peanuts you're getting a little tusky! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7596 OK, turn your head a little to the right. Perfect, don't move. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7597 Don't give me that look. I never went to art school. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7598 You’re just staring; give me something more dynamic. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7599 Hang in there! I should expect peanuts for this black and white version. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7600 This is why, no dating until you are 21. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7601 I’m selling them outside every touristic cave in Pangea. 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7602 Everyone knows caves drawings takes off 10 tons of your weight. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7603 My friends will be so jealous when they find out I was the first one to put a picture of what's for dinner on the wall. 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7604 You could at least try an enigmatic smile. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7605 If you don't stop moving, tonight I will be dining on your liver with Fava Beans and a nice Chianti 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7606 How come you look more like an elephant than a mastadon? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7607 Alright, now give me that zoo-landerlook, you big baby! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7608 You look fine. The charcoal adds 10 pounds 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7609 Entra nous. I'm going to call it, "The Mammoth in the Cave." 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7610 1. STOP FIDGITING. . . .OR WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE ? 2. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN! THEY'RE ENTRANCING, LIKE DEEP POOLS OF LAVA! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7611 Mind if I air-brush the droopy nose? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7612 The beginning of Van Gogh. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7613 Can you tilt the tusks aside slightly and show me a bit of that grand old smile? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7614 Yes it IS your portrait, but after you pay me you won't have any tusks. So NO TUSKS! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7615 I don't care if you're horny ! Stand still! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7616 Can you move your head a little to the left? You’re blocking the light. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7617 i am sure you remember at one time you were this size. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7618 Well, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to capture the ESSENCE of who you are! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7619 Let's label it "Selfie -- #NoFilter". 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7620 Trust me, they are all going to stampede right. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7621 A little more to the left! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7622 So, have you ever used Task Mastodon before? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7623 Let's begin with the ground rules, shall we? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7624 it's called Artistic License. In this scene I am the Mighty Hunter 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7625 What exactly do you mean by "Tsk, Tsk"? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7626 This piece will be on display until the next ice age. Would it hurt you to smile a little? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7627 It's to honor you for giving us fire. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7628 Please lower your tusks a bit. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7629 If you want life-size, stand still. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7630 I was going to wallpaper it but just couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7631 "Yes! Restraining Order means don't lose your pet", said the Caveman to the Woolly Mammoth. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7632 Well I know you asked me to paint you like one of my French girls but there's only so much I can do. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7633 Congratulations, you will be the entree feature this week! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7634 I can do Impressionist, Expressionist, Cubist, Pop Art, Graffiti style. You tell me what you want. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7635 Can you make the ears a little bigger? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7636 Translate translate that. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7637 Est only la couleur I aive. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7638 The way you created a selfie in prehistoric times. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7639 Good to see you’ve evolutionized, as for your artistry? Eh. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7640 the inner you is smaller and timid 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7641 OK. You're were right. It was a mistake to vote for Trump. 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7642 Yes, it's reruns until the fall season. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7643 Can you please make your tusks stop growing so fast? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7644 You didn't get my trunk right! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7645 Yes, you get to stay for dinner. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7646 Domesticating household pets began in our earliest days 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7647 If you trim back the tusks, the trunk would look a lot bigger. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7648 Could you get your nose back up and your incisors in... please. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7649 I said stop moving! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7650 Yeah I know the world is ending, but art takes time. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7651 Trust me, the nude is in vogue. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7652 I have no choice, Rex - the genre will be "nude portrait". And that's final!! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7653 Is that you're best side. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7654 First you pose for Daddy's picture -- then walkies. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7655 Now tell me about your attacker's tusks. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7656 Don't worry! If it doesn't come out quite right, I can fix it in Cavepaintshop. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7657 If you stood still, the likeness would be a lot better. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7658 OK, so forget 'fierce'. Try 'brutal'. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7659 I’m bored too! So, stand still 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7660 Believe me, some time in the future, you will be the one thing people can't not think about. Now keep your head up and smile. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7661 They'll take of the wrinkles in post. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7662 Shall I include the cavity in your right tusk? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7663 I'm warning you: If you don't stop moving, I won't give you any mammoth tusks. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7664 You need to look more ferocious,my reputation is on the line! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7665 “Be still. My action figures aren’t selling well”. 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7666 Who cares if I got the trunk wrong! How long's it gonna last, 20,000 years? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7667 Evolving without the tusks means your species will survive. We apparently will evovle to using only part of our brains, so we will need you. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7668 Do you remember this suspect? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7669 Hey, Trunk up! You’re gonna love it. It’s just bad lighting! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7670 a frame?...what's a frame? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7671 What did you expect? You didn't pay me for this. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7672 Relax. It's a rough draft. I'll add persepctive as soon as it this cold spell is over. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7673 Now give me that come hither look. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7674 Après Picasso, THAT’s what I call it! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7675 A little more “smile” and we’re good............... 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7676 ...and this is why in 5000 year your kind will go extinct 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7677 Okay, okay! It IS life imitating art! 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7678 Be still, my Muse 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7679 "Pull that wool off your ears! I said your future is hairless, not heirless". 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7680 I said paint me like one of your French woolly mammoths. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7681 Have you tried the Paleo diet? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7682 This is your best side, it takes at least a hundred pounds from you! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7683 Just you! I don't give a damn about the shadow of the fire. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7684 Hey! Don't criticize my portrait of you! They'll come a time when you'll be cursed at for symbolizing a powerful gang of mainly old racist and sexist rich white men. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7685 _I_ didn't tell you to manscape your wool off. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7686 With or without tusks. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7687 No, absolutely not, Pachyderm cartoons are not a thing! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7688 Resembling this- just a lot larger. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7689 So what? It's a political cartoon! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7690 But your nose gives you character. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7691 Stand still, you think it's easy to chisel 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7692 Your butt IS fat! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7693 Better not call my next painting, “Elephant in the Cave.” 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7694 Yeah, that's it. No tusks. And make my nose smaller, if you don't mind. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7695 Maybe next Valantine’s we could tell everybody that ... you know ... we are realy good friends? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7696 Look, this is the best ya' gonna do until someone invents numbers. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7697 Yeah, I know it's not so great, but this is my first time, after all. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7698 When you grow up you will thank me 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7699 I know, Sir, you expect your presidential portrait to be huge – but Congress won't pay for it. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7700 Could you back up a bit? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7701 I'm warning you if you don't stand still you'll go extinct. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7702 Sorry, but I don't see you thin. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7703 Stop moving! I'm not creating a video. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7704 It's a mammoth, not a mastodon. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7705 I promise, we'll play All Around the Mastodon as soon as I finish this cave-mail. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7706 With tusks like that, you'll become famous in no time. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7707 Put your trunk back up and turn right. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7708 Hey, hey, take it easy. The pigment always adds ten pounds. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7709 Ok, take a break. I have to add the part you don't want to see and would never forget. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7710 I'll never get this right if you don't stop moving! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7711 I wish you would remember to hold still. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7712 Years from now, cavers will say you had a beautiful profile! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7713 Take a cave painting, it'll last longer! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7714 I can make it look puny, or make it look like Bargh. Not both. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7715 Oh yeah? Here's the brush. Let's see how good YOU are. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7716 Quit asking me to draw you like one of my French girls! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7717 Uh yeah, I was TOTALLY NOT doing a painting of me hunting you no no, this is a painting of us singing kumbaya!The bow and arrow is a gift to you! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7718 Listen, if you want me to do a miniature of you, I at least need you to hold your pose. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7719 Hold still. I need to get the tusks right before the limestone-ash pigment dries. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7720 Can you hold that pose, for about a month? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7721 Strom Thurman's first polictical ad 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7722 Someday someone will say something dumb like ‘life imitates this.’ 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7723 Another coked-up, pachyderm B-Lister! I should have stayed in the gravel pit! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7724 This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, proboscideans, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7725 It does NOT make you look fat! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7726 you can't go extinct on me now 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7727 I need a fierce 'I Remember You' look 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7728 I'll be done, in about a third of the sundial. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7729 2/26/18: "Do you have a reservation?" 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7730 Bundling hasn't changed a thing. Spiritual advice was already dying. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7731 Ask me that after your first cup of coffee. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7732 Does anyone know how to draw 3-D? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7733 Back in two-dimensional pose, damn it! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7734 In a few millennia, one one will even remember you had them! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7735 You remind me of my baby mammoth video clip. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7736 Don't worry—you're on the verge of extinction. I'll take in your waistline. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7737 I get it, I'm not Da Vinci. And you ain't Mona Lisa! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7738 I've been called the Leonardo da Vinci of my time. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7739 Stay still Kodak while I draw your picture 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7740 I don't care if it's too warm in here. Tusks up! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7741 Give me a minute....Yes you have really really long horns 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7742 “Tantor?” Would that be with one “n” or two? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7743 It's not my fault you broke your selfie stick. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7744 Hold still; I need this for the insurance claim. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7745 Should I draw you being speared or me trampled? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7746 Let me finish this little guy first, before I draw the second half of your torso. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7747 This likeness will have to do -- at least until mirrors are invented. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7748 Print or cursive? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7749 PLEASE, I need to see alittle more swing and hip movement ! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7750 Hey! I told you. I wanted a horse!!!!... 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7751 What do you mean, "delete that," it's totally your angle! 1.1087 0.06392 46 43 1 2
7752 I'm a Mastodon, I'm a Mastodon, not Mammoth...Okay, Okay...sheesh...hold still Mammoth. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7753 Waah! My trunk is tired, my trunk is tired! Try to hold the pose this time, please! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7754 You didn't even get my good side 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7755 I'm an artist - don't talk to me about gentrification! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7756 I've heard of obscene art, but Pleistocene art?! 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7757 Of course you'll be remembered. Someday you'll symbolize the greatness of our time. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7758 I think this baby portrait thing might really have a future. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7759 Please wipe that lescaux off our P Wipe that Lescaux off your face. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7760 Better to paint .... because killing is easy, the hard is to remove the body. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7761 I'm not done yet. Then you can draw me. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7762 Teen years suck. I'm going to make you a self-help wall. It will show you what to expect. I'm going to start with you as a baby and end when you'll be older and woolly. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7763 I think it's time we discussed why nobody's talking about you. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7764 Come on, you've got to feel primitive! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7765 Stop twitching! Most mastodons would be grateful for a selfie! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7766 Could you please turn to the right? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7767 Just be thankful that I don't hunt you! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7768 I want you to draw me like one of your Jurassic girls. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7769 Beautiful dahling, beautiful! You're a star! Now, relax that smile for me, it's a little toothy. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7770 Lean just a bit to your right. Hold that pose. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7771 Not to worry... the painting adds ten pounds. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7772 Hold still or you won't get any s'mores when we're done. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7773 Others may choose to ignore your presence here, but to me, you're a work of art! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7774 Do you want me to buff out that poacher? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7775 I thought you were long gone! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7776 look I'm not getting embarrassed at game night again, so we need to practice 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7777 Milk cartons haven't been invented yet. This will have to do if you want to get your lost baby back. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7778 What do you mean you can't get your trump, sorry I mean trunk up again? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7779 I think I'm a little off with the size. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7780 You need to loose weight or backup, I’m running out of paint! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7781 This is you three years ago, which you'll have to finesse at your first coffee. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7782 i will try to make you smaller -but still charge the same price 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7783 If this is a good likeness of your missing child, I'll paint it on every cave wall until she's found. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7784 Sorry...I can’t do anything about all the wrinkles. Photoshop won’t be invented for another 10,000 years. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7785 Yes, my picture is small. And, no, I don't have tusk envy. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7786 Could you lower those tusks a little? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7787 Not to worry, it's a thumbnail. 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
7788 Yeah, yeah. Everybody's an art critic these days. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7789 hold that pose 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7790 Tusk off, fat boy! It's my art – I'll do it how I want! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7791 Think that's exciting? wait until I draw my wife. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7792 Lose the tusks! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7793 Hey, quit moving! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7794 I’m a freakin’ cave man, not DaVinci, for cryin’ out loud! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7795 Yes, they WILL be this short after I burn them to make my Ivory Black! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7796 No refunds 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7797 And this is what you're face will look like after a little 'nip and tuck'. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7798 Turn a little to the left, right there. Now don't move. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7799 No, I can't just draw your tusks a bit bigger. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7800 This donkey does not have fangs. Okay?! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7801 Once upon a time, mastodons were fierce creatures, and lived outside... 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7802 I suspected that I'd be able to draw you in here. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7803 I've just got to finish the tusks before he thaws... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7804 Now would you turn to the left just a tad? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7805 You got my bad side. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7806 You will forever be the representative for the republican party! Oh that? It's called 'fire'! Next I'll show you what a 'wheel' looks like! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7807 Me want more oomph 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7808 If you don't like it, you can draw it yourself! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7809 Keep your eyes open and just shift to the right. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7810 Please....hold still! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7811 You sweep the riverbank. That was the agreement. Now hold still. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7812 Back up Phil, I’m not done yet. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7813 You have to go around to the back entrance to apply for a job. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7814 You keep forgetting to stand still" "A little more perky please" "Remember this is for posterity 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7815 Mammoth? Elephant? How should I know? Someone from the next era can figure it out. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7816 This is who our witness described to the sketch artist. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7817 Hold still, dammit.... 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7818 "It doesn't have horns", said the worlds first critic. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7819 We're going to use it for a dementia screening test 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7820 This is what you will look like after your tuskectomy. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7821 Hey Oop eyes on your own slate. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7822 It’s not what it seems. I’m actually an amateur. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7823 Don't pout. Someday you'll be a party symbol! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7824 He definitely digs it- he’s my Emotional Support Mammoth 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7825 Look I'm sorry that I haven't gotten to the tusks yet...and I'm out of umber...okay? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7826 You're woollier than my other French girls. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7827 Really, another cave man cartoon? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7828 maybe it's the light in here but, your tusks aren't that big. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7829 This is what you look like on the other side of the cave's wall. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7830 What do you mean you’re going to call it a selfie?....I’m the one doing all the work! 1.1064 0.06258 47 44 1 2
7831 Tilt your head to the left buddy... again it’s to accurately render your likeness for mankind henceforth... 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7832 I refuse to sell my art for peanuts. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7833 for your PREVIOUS contest: "Sorry, we don't provide ties." 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7834 "You're goin to have to be still". 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7835 No, I'm not taking ten pounds off. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7836 How pointy do you want your tusks? 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7837 yes, be still Elbert. Also, after you crushed my right arm, its not proportionate to the rest of my body... so its going to take a minute longer. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7838 Now show me your sultry face! 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7839 -Caveman, draw me like one of your french girls. -O.K. Stand still... There's my Mona Lisa smile. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7840 For posterity I don’t know. . . . . Let’s just hope it lasts long enough to show this cave this weekend to the new cave-dweller purchasers. Remember we already have a deposit on a new cave. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7841 You call that my good side? 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7842 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7843 Strike a pose! 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7844 Almost finished, I still have to draw the room. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7845 smaller ears and less grey? no! 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7846 Ok son, let's whiteboard this one more time. First, there is a mommy and daddy elephant.. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7847 I'd prefer to paint you au naturel, without the wool. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7848 Lets forget about the tusks, I left the pointy tool in my muse's cave 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7849 Me said to grab your PEANUTS! 1.1042 0.06131 48 45 1 2
7850 Too low and too far right 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7851 A 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7852 Remember, back up all your work before you update software. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7853 Good morning kids. Since math hasn't been invented yet, we are going to draw an elephant for today's lesson. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7854 I'm doing this for free, so you're gonna owe me one. Don't forget. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7855 Wait, you're not a mammoth. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7856 Painting by firelight adds a ton. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7857 Thanks. The cavewoman wouldn't do this. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7858 It's a new 'Paint by Numbers' method. Get used to it. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7859 Can we take a break my legs are killing me. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7860 Thanks for capturing the cave's good side 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7861 Internet dating, B.C. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7862 You’ll get a bathroom break when I finish the tusks. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7863 No, I have not been privately seeing your mate! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7864 And now I'm going to eat you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7865 Just wait! I'll make sure you have 90% of the cave before the voters get here. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7866 Judas, why are you calling my portrait "The Last Supper? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7867 Stay still. You will be extinct in one hundred years. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7868 It’s humbling. I, a superior species. You, in yourself, a work of art better than mine.” 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7869 I know you're getting tired, but I want to get that mysterious smile just right, Mona. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7870 It makes me look 10 pounds heavier 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7871 No, you don't look fat here, either. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7872 You look a lot like my sister-in-law. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7873 Barry-don't you dare give me that look! You were the one who said we had to move away from French Provincial. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7874 No one wants to see those monstrosities sticking out of your head! Ever. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7875 "When did you guys discover testosterone? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7876 Please point your trunk upward. It'll bring the new cave owners happiness. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7877 I asked for a subtle, mysterious smile which is impossible to capture if you show your teeth. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7878 Are you done with the tusk? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7879 What can I say, I am an expressionist!!! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7880 I'm thinking the trunk is a little short. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7881 Hold it. I know you’re next. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7882 Quit your griping and be glad you're not in India. You could be hit by a train. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7883 Don't move! If I get this wrong your existence will be lot to history. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7884 I'm running for president and think you would make the perfect campaign mascot. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7885 You're serious? You want to make a picture of yourself? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7886 Of course I think your tusks look this good in person! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7887 "Is this OK, Ed? Eons from now, will they recognize you? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7888 Limerick: There once was a hermit named Wade...to sit for a sketch she was swayed...Then just like Titanic it got a little romantic...And that's how Dumbo was made. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7889 You forget how long his tusks were? But I thought... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7890 I think my kids will enjoy this painting a lot 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7891 Would you prefer matt or gloss? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7892 Through Horton's squinted eyes the miniature on the wall took on a new life. It seemed to call out, "We are here!" 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7893 Some day you’ll be famous. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7894 Hold still, your grandkids will see this 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7895 If you're looking for a half-man, half-mastadon portrait, you're talking to the wrong cave painter, buddy! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7896 Who told you to shave? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7897 I said to myself, Art: for once, do something for your own sake. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7898 No, I already told you, this drawing does not make you look fat! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7899 Can I get a SELFIE?!!! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7900 10,000 years B.C. Amber Alert 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7901 We've got a dynamic selfie, but the real key to getting dates is the bio. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7902 No, I already told you your butt doesn't look big from this angle. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7903 The First Nude Model 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7904 Try not to look so desperate. Your dating profile picture is important. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7905 Would you please just stand still. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7906 I'll take the tusks and no one will know that you had them. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7907 There, almost done. Now a little smile, please 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7908 Charcoal isn't the best for Paleolithic photography. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7909 Naming him Rex was was wrong 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7910 Everyone wants this removed, but are afraid to say so because you're... 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7911 You don’t exist. You’re a pigment of my infatuation. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7912 I told you, I'll get to the tusks in a second! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7913 Please don't move I am trying to capture your inner essence. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7914 The quick sketch artist in is the cave next door... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7915 What's Photoshop? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7916 Decide. Representational or abstract? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7917 Could you possibly remember to stand still? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7918 You look slimmer with your trunk lifted. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7919 I'm drawing this important tusk for posterity, so STOP moving so I can finish! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7920 Just a few more minutes are you warm enough? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7921 Hold that pose for five more minutes—then you can go extinct. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7922 At my last gig, they handed out complimentary nuts and berries. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7923 Hold still, I need to make sure the perspective is right. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7924 WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE OR I'ILL TAKE UP IVORY HUNTING 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7925 Can you try trumpeting again? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7926 And wipe off that mysterious smile. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7927 I call it Snapcave. It should disappear shortly. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7928 Your flair? Seriously Chet? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7929 Draw me like one of your Pachyderms. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7930 Just don't move for another 20 minutes. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7931 Oh this thing? It’s a mere-uhhhh 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7932 That is PACHYDERM spelled with a Y ???? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7933 Aren’t you proud to be the world’s first model? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7934 An elephant never forgets. That is the killer in sheep's clothing 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7935 Officer, this is the guy who took my bone. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7936 Nice weather we're having, huh? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7937 Models can be so stubborn. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7938 I'd like to be remembered for more than just my body 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7939 Now smile !! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7940 Paint me like one of your cave girls, Jack. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7941 Will you be using this one for commercial or theatrical? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7942 They say 'Paint what I know' 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7943 I’m a better painter than I am a hunter. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7944 Diagram is not drawn to scale. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7945 You need to "stop" watching regular tv" and start watching Funny shows Like leave it to beaver. the lucy show andy griffin Bewitch .these shows (made you laugh some shows make you nuts. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7946 Shut up. This is your one shot at fame. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7947 Trying to defy the stereotypes about cavemen, Zog went on to become a teacher, showing the elephant how to improve its memory with visual aids. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7948 Pick up your second chin a wee bit, Pachy 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7949 You sure you want more Carve-shop? Your children might not recognize this was you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7950 Your mother would have been so proud...! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7951 Stand still, I'll be finished in two minutes! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7952 Can't ignore the big elephant in the room 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7953 For the last time, Mitchell, I have NO intention of enhancing the length of your trunk! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7954 The nose looks great! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7955 Forget the wholly part. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7956 I'm afraid that we will have killed and eaten you before the full size gallery painting finished. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7957 I want you to draw me like one of your cave girls. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7958 Hold still or the tusks are not going to look right 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7959 This is the quarterback. He never goes out for a pass. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7960 Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7961 In 2000 years you'll be doing this for us in Vietnam. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7962 Don't be so wise. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7963 You look great, the rock just adds 1,500 pounds. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7964 Busy, artist at work 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7965 Off with the tusks! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7966 well duh! we just don't paint the ones where you win. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7967 Wow, that was a quick manifest! Hadn’t even got your tusks painted in . Stand there while I finish .What kinda artist would I be if I forgot to paint a spear through your heart?! “ 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7968 What? You told me to draw you like one of my French elephants... 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7969 You can do whatever with him but this: NO MATING WITH HIM. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7970 l KNOW. PLEASE LEND ME ONE OF YOUR HORNS 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7971 Just gimme a little creative license and I guarantee you'll go down in history. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7972 Now, just hold still for a few more minutes... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7973 Everybody's a critic. It's called artistic license, ok? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7974 Do I get time and a half for overtime ? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7975 I haven't enough paint to include your mamouth trunk and tusks, sorry. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7976 Hi, don't be upset. I am making you cuter. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7977 Our platform will be Right to Bare Spears... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7978 Please stop moving until I'm finished your portrait 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7979 And they told me I couldn't draw! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7980 Ok, now I'll give you a three hour head start. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7981 You should have seen the mastadon I drew. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7982 No, no no. I said "lusty" not "tusky" 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7983 Yeah, yeah, I know I'm no Michelangelo and you are no Twinkletoes yourself. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7984 It's either this wall or a tank of formaldehyde. Your choice. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7985 I thought I was taller 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7986 "Blargh! Bop Boop Beep Bop Boop!" -Neanderthal Man 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7987 Stay still, goddammit. Am I going to have to put you in a big piece of ice? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7988 I could douse the fire, wash away your scribbles, or drown you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7989 Who’s ‘Jack,’ and what’s a ‘French girl’? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7990 Stand still damn it or I'll bring back the donkey! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7991 I'm calling it "Elephant on Viagra" 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7992 ...and now, for something completely different... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7993 10,000 years from now, you'll be happy I added the extra shading on the upper lip. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7994 Hold still or I'll never get your nose right. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7995 The first "birds and the bees" lecture. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7996 Sorry I can't afford a bigger fire. I'm working for peanuts. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7997 When did you say this portrait will put on loan to the Met? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7998 Something is wrong with my proportions. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7999 I'm thinking of calling it Instagram 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8000 We got fire. We got art. All we need now is the wheel and you to straighten out your trunk. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8001 Does the rock scraping the wall make hot orange shapes shoot out? Like the heat, No Go brain strain. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8002 Look, I'm sure the technology for warmer studios is just around the corner. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8003 The light's not good. Can you turn a little to your left? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8004 I'm telling you, Babar, this will be a classic! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8005 Photoshopping will cost you extra. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8006 I'll just draw in the giant marshmallows - the guys will be cracking up! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8007 It's i before e. . . 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8008 We can discussed it, were creating an idiom. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8009 Now give me that "alluring wow" smile 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8010 Hold still . . . Now act like you are going to kill me. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8011 Stop griping. It does look like you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8012 What do you mean "like your French girls"? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8013 You're such a primadonna - this is an action shot. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8014 Paint me like one of your African elephants. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8015 Try to look natural. No, wait... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8016 When we remove the gerrymandering you will achieve your target weight. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8017 HOLD THAT POSE A LITTLE WHILE LONGER. I'VE GOT TO ADD THE TUSKS. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8018 Give me that sexy "indomitable will" look that you do. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8019 "Those tucks are to die for, sweetie. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8020 this would throw giacometti completely 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8021 You can try to cover it up but remember, I forget nothing... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8022 No abstract art in this cave! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8023 We’ve designed a more scalable v2. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8024 They will look good, believe me! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8025 No, if you keep fidgeting, we're never going to be done! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8026 Just try and tell me not to talk about it. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8027 Do you want to make a real mammoth now? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8028 Geez,NO! It's not too small, it's Art! It's a gesture, a representation of who you are not a photo. It's ART dummy! Get it? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8029 Yeah, this is just my hobby and my critics say I'm a primitive. But my claim to fame is what's toasting your tusks my friend! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8030 You’re really a sweetie, so I gave you smaller tusks. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8031 Enough of TrunkTime today 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8032 I won't draw anymore, I promise. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8033 Yes I know you'll remember where we live. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8034 Any suggestions on how to draw me? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8035 And to think, I was flattered when you asked me to sit for you. I won’t forget this. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8036 The tusks are going to be extra 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8037 OK, I'm almost done. When do I get my tax cut? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8038 Remember... you're an elephant. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8039 Well it's not Grog's fault Grog don't know what one of his French girls looks like 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8040 Don’t ask me for huge hair and huge tusks!! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8041 Yeah... we're kinda like them.. But Oscar's a sports writer, and Felix? You're twice the hunk. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8042 Can you show a little more skin. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8043 I swear! This is not a charade! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8044 Did you bring the Fretos ? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8045 This is the one they'll remember me for! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8046 Smile! You’re on Stone Age camera. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8047 Come on! This is my childhood, not me! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8048 Congrats Master Don, this is the post of you on my wall. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8049 If you move I won’t get your portrait right, so please stop fidgeting OKAY? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8050 which is your best side? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8051 We need to record our hunting and gathering, I have a feeling our 15 minutes will be our Paleo diet 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8052 Yes, I am sure that nude does not mean nasty. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8053 He met with human species and lost his teeth. Avoid me! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8054 Listen, sweetie, you could get a lot more modelling work if you did something about those teeth and a nose job. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8055 Ever heard of a 'selfie'? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8056 If you think sitting for a portrait is bad, consider what Damien Hirst would do to you.... 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8057 Well, I could make your tusks look bigger, but I value realism in my art. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8058 Work it! Work it! Work it! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8059 And that's how baby mammoths are made. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8060 Well I’m sorry,this isn’t Ringling Brothers 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8061 So much for that hotshot Gorak and his Fire; I claim Chiaroscuro. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8062 I want you to draw me like one of your french mammoths. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8063 This is the best way to improve your memory. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8064 Who are you calling Dumbo? 1.0909 0.06353 44 42 0 2
8065 Don't quit your day job, perhaps one of my pachyderm friends is an artist. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8066 Please forgive the cultural appropriation. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8067 Careful with the nose. I'm drawing you next. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8068 Stop smiling 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8069 Ok. Now turn sideways so I can see better to paint your trunk. Your tusks will be removed for their valuable ivory. So don't need to paint them. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8070 The picture of an elephant on the wall is terrible! Get rid of him and get a new artist!!! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8071 Am I not enough for you? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8072 I’m glad you’re seeing this. Now you know how I feel. I want to have your babies. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8073 Life imitating cave art 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8074 Dude, look. I'm making you a rock star. Could even make you famous. For that, could you just hang tight and stand still for one more measly minute? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8075 Sorry, we don’t take without resetvation 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8076 Move those tusks a little to the left. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8077 Just another 5 minutes. Don’t move. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8078 Turn a bit to the right please . . . . 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8079 No, I won't make your ears bigger. And get used to the grey. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8080 No tell my mom about this. She want me to get 'real' job. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8081 Hey, This hairless thing could be big but we said Keep the tusks and we are losing the light 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8082 You forgot what I told you, don't move! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8083 Wallet sized pebbles are extra 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8084 Don’t worry, the paint adds 10 pounds. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8085 To be perfectly honest, 'proportion' was never my greatest strength at Juilliard. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8086 Hey, Jumbo, stand closer to the light, so I can paint your good side. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8087 Why? Your mother thinks down the road you will be a museum piece or a mascot, 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8088 What, you've never heard of artistic license? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8089 Keep still. I'll send this to Snapchat as soon as it is invented. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8090 Remember, if she runs away, that means, "no." 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8091 Now, turn around and let me paint the trunk. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8092 Sorry, I didn’t know what “mammoth” meant! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8093 Hold still, smile bigly. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8094 No need to explain, I'll just make your ears larger! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8095 OK - next? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8096 Weight coaching in the last glacial period. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8097 Please stand still. It's hard to draw you while you're moving. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8098 Now, say it with me: "ooga foo la phox" 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8099 Jimmy, is it tusks or tuskes in the plural? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8100 I will never forget your drawing 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8101 I don't have that much paint left -- try thinking about baseball . . . 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8102 My, what small ears you have, Trumpo! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8103 Your art is dull. It will never last. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8104 Trunk up please old friend or you’ll be confused with that hairy mastodon I did last week. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8105 come on, don't be shy. let's see it. flop that hog out for me. lemme take a gander. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8106 I've never seen this side of you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8107 As promised, I shaved off at least 300 lbs. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8108 Man's First Fat Shaming. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8109 I know, but the agency asked me to try to take 20 pounds off of you if I could. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8110 Your tusks are in the way. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8111 No way, we can't do selfies yet. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8112 Those huge tusks are gonna cost you extra for the cave wall space. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8113 If you would just stand still I could maybe finish this in a million years... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8114 Consider the subject. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8115 If you think Glamour Shots can give you a better profile picture, than go for it. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8116 You make me feel like I'm made out of sticks, big fella. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8117 I know you're cold, but you've got to stop moving! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8118 You can't stand in for your wife. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8119 When did enlightenment require a reservation? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8120 Okay...now don't move. I don't want a blurred picture. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8121 Can you ditch the horns? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8122 What happed next .....? You remember....... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8123 So what, you won't remember it anyway. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8124 Trust me. One of these days you'll wish you never had tusks. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8125 Forget Me Not 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8126 I'm looking for a lady who'll do nudes. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8127 It is easier to talk about using hieroglyphics 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8128 Turn sideways, would you? I still don't have perspective. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8129 Just a sly smile, please... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8130 This is to remind future generations when you became extinct 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8131 I'm thinking of calling our cartoon strip 'Percy'. Thoughts? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8132 Hey guys it’s me Olivia from now on I’m only gonna communicate like this 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8133 It's Post-Historic! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8134 Paint me like one of your Stone Age girls 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8135 Stop pouting! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8136 If I'm painting it, it's not a selfie! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8137 'OK, I'll paint them in but I'm gonna poach them anyway'. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8138 We only serve people with (self-)reservations 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8139 Keep still, I haven't finished yet! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8140 Stoke the fire , I can't see your eyes 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8141 I've told you, with fire we made Tinder, now swipe right if you'd like to mate with her. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8142 This is the one I want to set you up with. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8143 "The mammoth in the cave" - I reckon it could catch on. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8144 Do you think this image is unforgettable? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8145 it's still sunday, motherfuckers! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8146 Table availability? I wish I knew. I've been waiting here for ages. (for Feb 4 submission) 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8147 For the final version, I may do a little editing in Photoshop. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8148 my caption for contest #603 (supposed to be accessible until 11:59 pm EST today, but no such luck): "So some find paths to enlightenment that aren't nearly so steep?" 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8149 This meditation Centre offers you free coffee and Internet connection. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8150 I have a Donkey by the tail so back off the heat. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8151 It doesn't look real, then you draw it next time! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8152 If you stay still, I'll try again with my other hand. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8153 To clarify one thing, it is now known as the STARBUCKS Secret to Life. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8154 Draw me like one of your Paleolithic girls. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8155 The smile will make this my masterpiece! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8156 Damnet, stand still! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8157 To find your true path, you must arrive with no reservations. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8158 Now lift your trunk slowly so we can finish the detail on your profile. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8159 My trunk looks nothing like that. I’ll remember this. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8160 Are my tusks Wooly that big? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8161 I don't CARE what the woolly mammoth got paid per hour. Stand still! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8162 Draw me like one of your french elephants. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8163 There is no WIFI password, my son. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8164 Now try balancing on your tusks. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8165 You'll soon be extinct, but my drawing will live on. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8166 If you want your portrait done, you have to be still. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8167 You gonna use a filter? And just leave the tusks out completely, I look thinner that way. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8168 Marty was first 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8169 Stay still! I need to get the shadows on your tusks right! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8170 Please cover yourself...I'm not putting that in the picture 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8171 Wow, great response time. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8172 "M" before "N". Mammoths go extinct before Neanderthals. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8173 I can cross you off my grocery list 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8174 If you don't stop swinging your trump...i'm going to bring in a donky for this drawing!!! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8175 A picture with my recipe for barbecue spare rubs. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8176 I really hope you are house trained 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8177 Try running baseball stats through your mind while you trumpet. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8178 Grand Old Pachyderm, here's hunters' magic to annihilate you in 27.000 years! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8179 What do you expect? You have a robust constitution. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8180 Hold still! Or posterity will see you as a rope next to some tree trunks and a wall. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8181 “This is one erection that will last forever”. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8182 You can go out for a minute once I get your other tusk done. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8183 Do you think this is what an "elephant" looks like? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8184 Hmm. You look thinner in this light. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8185 Tusk, tusk. Don't be insulted. I'm trying to do this to scale. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8186 Would it kill you to come closer? It's impossible to capture your likeness at this distance! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8187 This IS how I paint my French girls. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8188 Answer the question and you can have a remote. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8189 It's nice to finally get the bathrobe off you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8190 You are getting me nervous! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8191 Stand still or I'll sell you to that guy in the top hat. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8192 I didn't order lunch! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8193 Can we use a filter? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8194 Am I the first human to comment on your new profile picture? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8195 Hold still and put those tusks down! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8196 Hold still for just one moment... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8197 If only forgetting this ever happened was an option. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8198 How long do you want me to make your horns? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8199 And this is what you'll look like without those useless tusks. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8200 So you see? it goes as M C squared, not M C cubed. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8201 I said "icon" not "I can...." 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8202 Relax, you're as stiff as a stick right now. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8203 It’s a tandem bicycle 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8204 I can't wait 40,000 years for delivery of your Elephantile Dysfunction drugs 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8205 The Egyptian intern is grabbing your drink. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8206 The Woolly Mammoth has nothin' on you! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8207 ive been using jamaican black castor oil on my hair and its really helped 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8208 Early lessons in flattening 3D objects: Never say, "Hold that pose!" to a Mammoth. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8209 You're not working it enough! Work it...work it! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8210 It's a grand ol' idea, really. If we etch you in stone, you'll be worshipped for generations. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8211 It would be a lot quicker if these walls had ears. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8212 Just stand still! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8213 Tuskless in Seattle 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8214 Okay, just forget it! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8215 Insecurity is in the eye of the beholder. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8216 Stand still and stop tusking. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8217 Oh come on, how can this possibly remind you of an episode of "Black Mirror?" 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8218 I`m trying to get you thin side 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8219 beautiful, beautiful, very sexy. ok that’s great, thank you. now, this particular producer insists that the talent's 100% comfortable fucking on camera. and since this is your first casting call and you don’t have any tape— 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8220 What is your ID? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8221 Your left side is more attractive. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8222 Take a break. This isn't working. I'll be back with some spears. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8223 You know, this really isn't your color. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8224 Sorry- I ran out of pigment. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8225 I have to miniaturize. They all want portraits. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8226 ... or upgrade to our family pack, which also includes eight pebbles, four stones and a boulder. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8227 OK, OK, you try doing this by firelight. I should have invented the light bulb first. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8228 Do you mind if I am posting a picture of you on Instagrrrrrrrrram? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8229 The light from the fire is giving you that "dreamy" look....... 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8230 Try a different filter 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8231 Work with me.this is how you will turn out. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8232 You look very slim, your highness 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8233 Yes, I am a southpaw,and don't forget it ! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8234 Just hold still. I'll feed you when I'm done. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8235 Is that my own selfie? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8236 Be sure you get my good side 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8237 It's not cheating! Every guy looks at paintings 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8238 Pretty good But you are no John Gnagy 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8239 If you use me use me as an emblem for that tribe, I'll run you through! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8240 You want the cave painter on Mastadon Avenue. This is T-Rexington. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8241 Appetizer menu. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8242 If you can't take the heat, get out of the cave and take your trunk with you! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8243 The sponsor thinks droopy trunks are uncavemanly. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8244 What,! Its an exact replica. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8245 You are such a good subject because you stand still. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8246 No white paint, so no tusks. Stop giving me that stupid sour Mastodon look. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8247 It's not a nude, you have your coat on! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8248 I know you are not that small, but don’t worry about it. Somebody will see this picture and go looking for your remains. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8249 I only invented it to support my art. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
8250 When you post this on Instagram, can you hashtag it #carlscavecanvas? It would be good for my brand." 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
8251 So, you'd rather have an oral briefing? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8252 Regret sets in after the last man on earth was given the opportunity to draw himself a companion. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8253 turn a bit to the left please 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8254 Do it again! I am not that fat. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8255 The image board should really have your ideal size, not just your ideal weight. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8256 Please stop moving, I'm loosing my light. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8257 Mona, you'll be famous. We'll entitle it, "The Mona Pachyderm!" 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8258 Still, you must stay still!! I'm endeavouring to catch the flicker of the fire's flame as if dances uninhibited across your ivory dance floor... 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8259 Don’t move the mouth! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8260 Say it with me: S-E-L-F-I-E. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8261 This is simply an illustration of your proclivity for infantile behavior. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8262 Step off! You are in my light. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8263 Everybody is a critic! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8264 What do you mean, you could do better? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8265 For your own protection, I won't include your tusks. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8266 You're going to be remembered this way for a long time. Are you sure this is your best side? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8267 For your missing child report should we warn people he's allergic to peanuts? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8268 Doe a deer a fermale deer . . . 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8269 I 'm paying a lot of money to have you here. For god's sake stay still. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8270 Will you please be still? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8271 Paint me like one of your Neolithic mammoths (from the Prehistoric Stone Age). [I am open to using the second part of the sentence or not] 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8272 Do you draw? I could lend you a rock. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8273 Hey, I'm doing the best I can, the photographer didn't show. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8274 Ok there it's done. Now would you please leave strange creature. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8275 Be patient, proportions are incorrect as this is a very early charcoal sketch. Final stone drawing will be better. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
8276 I agree that a sunset would be nice. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8277 I know you think the you're common and one of so many, but I just have a feekung... 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8278 The light through the cave door is shifting... tilt your tusks to the right please. Say Equisetum! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8279 It's on the menu for tomorrow. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8280 No, no...your look is too...modern. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8281 Don't tell your mother about this or we're both dead. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8282 don't you point our tusks at me, I am a minimalist painter. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8283 Ugg... you moved! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8284 ("I was made for better things.") -- ("I was made for better things.") 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
8285 Must be the light, but you’re looking pink to me... 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
8286 Would you like a mantra or a table? 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
8287 OK... Let's try it again...A is for Aardvark.... 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8288 Artistic license —how you'll be remembered in infamy! 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
8289 Come back tomorrow. I will need you to pose as the hunters. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8290 Draw me like one of your pre-France French girls 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8291 No, it’s your baby picture, I ran out of space 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8292 I agree life is hard, but how else can we vegans survive these days? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8293 This wasn't my idea! The wife's been on my case ever since her trip to some place called the 'Lascaux Caves.' 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8294 Keep still. I don't want this to be thought of as a crude carving. 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
8295 But tusks down is more artistic. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
8296 Do you seek the Wi-Fi password? 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
8297 I recently started dabbling in still life. I hope one day my art will be appreciated for its accurate depiction of the subject at hand. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
8298 Are you willing to sign a Consent to Treat? 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
8299 What is fresco you ask? Our endowments only fund the purchase of art, but our walls need repair. I think this will work. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
8300 I know it's cold. But, keep your truck UP. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
8301 The agency said you could use a model. They were right. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8302 You'll be able to get a better view of it when you put on your reading glasses. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8303 Pay me $50 for your baby's picture by Tuesday or it gets erased! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8304 In the final version a stick you with my spear, so..look scared. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8305 I don’t look like that! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8306 You people don't have a good side. Now stand still! 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8307 Just a couple more minutes, please stand still! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8308 I don't think this is my light 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8309 Of course you're not being 'drawn to scale.' Stop being such a diva. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8310 You want the tusks painted for now? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8311 Don’t call me paleolithic. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8312 Does this pose a problem? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8313 "I don't know how to make it 3-D like 'Ice Age,' so fuck off! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8314 Do I really have that much junk in my trunk? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8315 Don't give me the "Make the Cave Great Again!" stuff. Fire and wall memes are here to stay. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8316 You cannot get away with murder here! You may now have a name yet, but everyone will know what you look like! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8317 I must capture the sacredness of your tusks for future generations! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8318 Well, if it's as great as you say, why am I carving this? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8319 You know Sadie, I have feelings for you. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8320 i want to catch that enigmatic smile. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8321 omg, what am I doing on a cannibal's menu? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8322 I don't care if it echos out from the cave, I like my music loud when I paint! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8323 Well that sucks. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8324 Did anyone suggest I would need a model here? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8325 Instead of printing a lengthy critique of our evolving recipe, I just put your picture on the menu. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8326 No, you cannot put on clothes. I told you, I only do nudes. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8327 Yup, you're dying. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8328 Ok, ok, I will let you win the next time. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8329 I said profile! Not portrait! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8330 Move your body to the left a little, raise your shoulder and then look at me. This should be good, but we've only got one more take. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8331 Stand still you big jerk! 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8332 This is my first nude painting 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8333 Tell me when you need a break. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8334 I am sorry but I do modernism, not that surrealism crap! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8335 You cannot earn money by drawing. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8336 You're a few megaannums early. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8337 Only 235 more caves to go and he'll be located before sunset. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8338 Turn a little more to the right please. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8339 And now no one will ever forget you. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8340 "You know, the caveman cartoons in the new yorker and getting a bit repetitive. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8341 Draw me like one of your Lascaux girls. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8342 Whatta ya mean it's not your best side? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8343 This is what you look like. I look quite different, don't you think? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8344 I know you have 12 legs, but I only have enough charcoal for four. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8345 If you keep snorting and moving around, how am I going to capture the real you? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8346 This picture will ensure your species will exist forever. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8347 Something's not right You haven't evolved yet. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8348 Would you mind taking off your bra? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8349 Just forget it already! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8350 You know what, Nelson? The "baby fish mouth" joke has really worn thin. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8351 Me Petro paint you, Glyph, on wall. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8352 I'm a much better artist now. I guess you'll never forgive me for that first portrait I made of you. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8353 You forgot what a profile is? 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8354 I'm sure this cartoon will be turned into a Trump insult. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8355 It's a picture of you and you want me to take it down? Forget about it! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8356 Stay still for another 14,000,000 years, I'm going to try to make a life-sized version. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8357 So you think it’s true, only shaved mammoths will survive? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8358 If you don't stop moving, I can't draw you. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8359 This doesn't mean I'm going to eat you! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8360 Hold one second, then you can smush me. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8361 You're so big! I think scale will be my challenge. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8362 I SAID "STAND STILL"!!! 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8363 'This one is small. The ones out there are far away.' 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8364 How tragic it is! I shall grow old, and ugly, and extinct... But this cave-drawing will remain young! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8365 Hold still, or I'll put you out in the cold. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8366 There must be an easier way to share a picture of my dinner. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8367 No, I'm not going to give you a longer trunk. Just stand still, will you? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8368 Now you can live on forever 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8369 How are we going to win against the Berkowitzes if you don't understand the rules? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8370 Is that what I LOOK like? Can we get some better lighting in here? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8371 You moved, tsk tsk. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8372 Make love to the chisel! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8373 What do you mean I owe you royalties!? 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
8374 My sharpie is drying out. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8375 Don’t move. This is a still life. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8376 It’s a work in progress. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8377 Smile, before the ink dries and the rest it history! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
8378 Keep still can ya? It’ s a mammoth enough tusk(??) as it is, without your wriggling as well! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8379 Don't even say it. French girls don't exist yet. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8380 Could you look a little more surreal? 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8381 Remember, you’re not a mastodon. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8382 ...a little more Stoic! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8383 Just go help yourself to something from the mini-bar, okay! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8384 Lights! Camera! Action! 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8385 LOOKS LIKE YOU! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8386 This isn't you; it's your representation. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8387 She's definitely going to "Stomp Right" on your profile now. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8388 I'll work that 'Mona Lisa Smile' you can't seem to shut up about into your tusks. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8389 Honey... he just made you a present! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8390 Tusks, too? I think we’re losing our perspective on this. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8391 There you go again. Quit blinking! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8392 No, no, I said straighten your trunk! Can't you remember anything? 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8393 Now turn to the right... 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8394 Would you PLEASE be still. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8395 Go swim in the river and you'll be ex-stink. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8396 Don't get greedy I'm drawing your cock plenty big as it is. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8397 OK, this is a map to get to Tarzan’s treehouse. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8398 It's this or the pickling tank Elly. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8399 OK. This my memory algorithm. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8400 Bork say more emotion and sensuous posing... 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8401 you must answer to momith You must answer to "Momith". 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8402 Okay. I'll put it on your charge. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8403 Faster! More intense! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8404 Want me to add the 'Rainbow Vomit' filter before I post it? 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8405 Do you remember how to spell 'Fire Extinguisher'? 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
8406 Hold still! Or I'll dock yuou twoi weeks' peanuts. 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
8407 You want me to draw you? Well, I'm up to the tusk! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8408 Don't get mad. I'm out of umber. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8409 Painting portraits is so undervalued as an art form compared to previous centuries.... 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8410 Personalize your wall by updating your profile. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8411 In love how the afternoon light plays on your tusks. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8412 Perhaps painting pachyderms produce prettier pictures, but I am man 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8413 If I knew what Photoshop was I would remove your tusks! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8414 Excellent, now give me the Half Moon pose. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8415 We all are Glad for Marks, and Marks are Glad for Nothing 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8416 I know it’s awkward, but this is the Painting with a Twist scene that was scheduled for tonight, so just try to have fun with it. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8417 I'm a realist. I'm drawing your tusks as I see them. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8418 Yes, I promise. You'll be as famous as the President! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8419 Don’t worry, I’m still planning to re-tusk before it dries. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8420 Al Unker, prehistoric criminal sketch artist. 1.0698 0.05150 43 41 1 1
8421 Graffiti! It won't be long before I get the appreciation I deserve! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8422 Well, take ANOTHER Viagra! 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8423 My dealer expects the greatest show on Earth. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8424 Do you remember running with the Neanderthals? 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8425 Some day, this will be known as an old mastodon. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
8426 Please hold still, remember? 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8427 Nevertheless, we require a jacket and tie in the dining room. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8428 Your fore-tail is drooping. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8429 Tell me, what would you like the future people to know . 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8430 I don't do well with criticism. If you're going to be like that, just leave. 1.0682 0.05034 44 42 1 1
8431 Marshmallows! Marshmallows! Marshmallows! Oooh, I'm sooo distracted right now. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8432 They told us you were extinct. 1.0682 0.05034 44 42 1 1
8433 It is called reductio ad absurdum. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8434 Oh, come on! You’re being way too sensitive. Everyone knows the cave wall usually adds a few pounds! 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8435 Woolly, you'll be cuter if I underplay your horns. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8436 In observance of two natural coincidences , I hereby name this new land ' DUMBO' . 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8437 ... or, we could go with something a little less literal.... 1.0682 0.05034 44 42 1 1
8438 It's a statement on Palenials. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8439 Let's get this right. We may be gone soon. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
8440 If you have a spouse, I'd like to paint her too. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8441 As part of the preliterate movement, I dare say: "not bad sir, not bad at all". 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8442 Can you PLEASE hold still?!!! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8443 I can't draw you if you can't be still. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8444 It's an abstract. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8445 Keep still, Dumbo! Overtime you move your ears get bigger! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8446 Should've taken a selfie instead... 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
8447 Don't worry. I'll make the tusks the most impressive ones in the herd. 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
8448 I’m going as fast as I can. 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
8449 Because I didn’t make enough paint for that. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8450 Better not fly for the first few centuries................. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8451 I think I'm going to call this the Sistone Chapel. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8452 If you think you can do better go at it. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8453 Look, I know it when I see it, and the cave drawing involved in this case is not that. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8454 Jabbering on about slow-coach and elephants' graveyard, you mammoth fool? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8455 Class, notice how his lines echo the shape of the cave. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8456 You pay the agency. Discover card only. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8457 I have decided to paint in the cave today. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8458 No, we didn't start the fire. It was always burning, since the world's been turning. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8459 You raised quite a tough little guy. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8460 No, Viagra will not help you keep it up! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8461 Critics! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8462 Turn, please. I work only in profile. 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8463 Look, I know your trunk is heating up, but did you expect me to work like Rembrandt with these Neanderthal tools? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8464 "I always see the artistic potential in humans but on this occasion, Eric, you've fallen below my expectations", trumped James. "I'm sorry James, I'm distracted you see - my wife left me this morning", sobbed a lonely Eric. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8465 If you move that stupid trunk one more time, I'm gonna blast you back to Pleistocene City. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8466 Apparently, the zoologist is not answering is not happy with his diet 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8467 Someday you're going to meet a beautiful girl mastodon. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8468 Enough! I'm a realist, you can't have bigger ears! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8469 Paint me like one of your French elephants. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8470 Not cool!! I just invented the paint brush and your complaining that I didn’t capture your essence!? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8471 Aziz, Light! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8472 We'll just clone you later. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8473 A few more minutes and you can take a peanut break! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8474 You'll have to spell "Ozymandias" for me. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8475 Paint me like one of your African girls 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8476 "How many legs does this mammoth have?" Man's first recorded optical illusion 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8477 Please smile Helmut, it's for the ages. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8478 Ok cover boy, can you stand there for one more minute? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8479 "Welcome to First Year Woolly Mammoth School. This is how you write your name." - Prehistoric Anthropocentrism - 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8480 Stop fidgeting and straighten your trunk out. You were the one who wanted to be immortalized. 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8481 It's all a matter of perspective , my friend . 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8482 Who knows? One day they may want an elephant's picture on the 3 x 5. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8483 Ah, you think you're an elephant, huh? But you are so stupid, you big stupid Mammoth! That's what you are and I am drawing you on the cave wall, you dummy! There are volcanoes outside. 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8484 I'm an artist, and shouldn't have to be told to "Drawshop" your nose smaller. 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8485 Listen, you're going to have to stop fidgeting; otherwise, your portrait will end up looking fuzzy. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8486 Could draw me one so I can be remerbered also? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8487 I'm sorry, but I can't afford an ornate gold frame, triple matting and museum glass. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8488 Stop your moaning, Lisa. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8489 Remember. Trunk up. More woody plants. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8490 Do I really look like that? I had no idea I was so heavy. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8491 Hold still! Don't think of a mouse! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8492 I can’t draw you when you keep moving. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8493 Ok, I’ll try not to make you look too horny! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8494 First I hunt you, then I gather you for supper!! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8495 You may take one mammuthus primigenius step to your left. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8496 Sorry, I don't do portraits ... 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8497 The obvious isn't starring at us. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8498 OU WAGA WAGA WOU LOU LOU 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8499 How do you expect me to finish the portrait if you keep uncurling your trunk? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8500 Remember, you'll be paid savannah scale. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8501 Sometimes I’d take the rap for Haring, sometimes for Basquiat. They’d buy me a coffee and a grilled cheese. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8502 Kwit yer bellyachin Dumbo, Animal Rights is 10,000 years down the pike. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8503 I don't believe you forgot the position you were standing in. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8504 No, this picture doesn't make you look fat. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8505 I must be tripping balls. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8506 Drawing your picture here, does not mean mankind will make you extinct one day like the mastodons. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8507 I'm calling this painting 'My Incredibly Infertile Wife'. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8508 It's a statement about the elephant in the room. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8509 Not again... you just went through musth. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8510 Meanwhile, the elephant in Plato's cave : "Dear human, that's several times removed from reality" 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8511 Early Mammoth pornographer 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8512 What is a French girl? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8513 I will cross the T's, but I would like you to dot the I's 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8514 I am trying to capture the junk in your trunk. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8515 Will you stop whining and just hold your trunk up? Its almost finished. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8516 It's called 'foreshortening' and it's perfectly normal. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8517 Don’t make me look fat. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8518 So...you're what they meant by anti-graffiti wall. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8519 Teaching to the tusk. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8520 Rolland: "Now there are 3 elephants in the room Terrance". Terrance: "Where's the 3rd Rolland"? Rolland: "The 3rd is the awkward question of who gets to eat the bigger of the two steaks sitting on that rock over there Terrance" 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8521 What? You want to paint you like the French Mammoths? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8522 I'm sorry- that's the best I can do until somebody invents Photoshop. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8523 Oh stand still and quit complaining, you may be extinct some day! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8524 Hey! I said, ‘FREEZE MISTER!’ 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8525 The Scopes-Mammoth Trial 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8526 You must be a bad elephant. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8527 This is the last time I commission anyone with an under-developed prefrontal cortex. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8528 Since the beginning, Man had a brain, but I don't know as of today, is it over developed or do we have to start all over again. Maybe, we do. Over time, we've consumed way too much and possibly have to restart it by going back into time. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8529 When class consciousness emerges 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8530 Don’t move a tusk, I’m trying to do contour drawing. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8531 Give me a break. Art school hasn’t been invented yet. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8532 C'mon! I know you remember more details than that! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8533 Last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet dinosaur. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8534 Need some help? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8535 Volcano? Nah. Stay still we’re almost done. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8536 It's just a figure of speech...I wouldn't really do that to you...trust me... 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8537 Do you know that my pals are all house-breaking wolf pups instead? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8538 I could've sworn I asked for a model with red hair. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8539 I'm still not sure I understand. I get that he was your brother, but I'm not being arrested for copyright infringement or anything... 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8540 So you see how much cuter you'll be if you just let me remove those ugly little tusks. 1.0541 0.05405 37 36 0 1
8541 Yes, that's how you spell it! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8542 I know it’s not a mammoth rendering. It’s just a quick, little sketch. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8543 That's it, gorgeous. Now give me sexy, give me sexy. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8544 See how pretty you will look with a nose job like this. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8545 Why don't you go ask Lukas Moodysson what it means? 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8546 Stand still. This is for posterity! 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8547 Look what you've done! I told you to hold your trunk still. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8548 Don't worry they will grow larger in time, I'm out of charcoal. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8549 Selfie not invented yet. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8550 We’ve had to erase all the mammoth paintings, so try to stick around awhile. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8551 Hey! Stand still, I'm almost done with this masterpiece & you'll be famous. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8552 I know what this is but I don't understand the "gift" part of it. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8553 Draw me like one of your neolithic mammoths. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8554 It's called GPS and sure, the technology is primitive now, but it's only going to get better over time. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
8555 Sorry, I don't have the right tools yet to draw your tusks 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8556 I'll show you winning. Big win. If I get all the mangos and coconuts. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8557 Yes! You’re hot. You’re sassy. Show me what you’ve got! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8558 What's your favorite social media? Facebook or Twitter?? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8559 "In New York or Tuscaloosa you will need a wallet-size ID photo. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8560 This is what you look like today. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8561 Here. I did it. Can I go now? I'm already late for galoot and friends. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8562 Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8563 For as little as one inch of tusk a month, your family can have financial security in the event of your death. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8564 I'm doing the best I can! Neither wooly nor mammoth are as yet apart of our small, underground art movement. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8565 Smile Mona Lisa. Seriously SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8566 Just because you never forget doesn't mean you can stand their correcting me all day! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8567 'Mastadonald Trump' A/P Ook 10000 BC 1/1 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8568 I’m hoping to sell this one for a trunkload. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8569 Now, left foot up one inch and hold it for 4 hours while I do the next one. This is gonna be an EPIC movie! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8570 Oh, quiet -- iPhones haven't been invented yet. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8571 Hold still you twit! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8572 Yes I'll do the tusks, but I don't do wool. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8573 What.., the lighting's bad. You should be please. I just took off over 2,300 pounds. Ta-da! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8574 Good, almost there. Say "cheese" and hold it. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8575 Under no circumstances are you to smile. 1.0526 0.05263 38 37 0 1
8576 We need help with your litter box. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8577 Could you turn just slightly more to the left, please? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8578 Did I capture your enigmatic smile ? Sorry, my artistic skills haven't evolved that far yet. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8579 If you criticize my drawing with your trunk one more time, I'll burn it off! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8580 you Its not your fault, Campbell, but you certainly call to question the benefits of smaller class sizes. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8581 I need for you to stand sideways. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8582 You have insurance, right? This is going to cost you an arm a leg. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8583 No, I will NOT 'delete it and start over'. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8584 Hey! I didn't get my Graduate Degree from Harvard so you can fall asleep in my class!! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8585 Wow! This could be the start of art - and also rhyming verse. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8586 I know it's a poor rendition, but what can you expect from an art school dropout? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8587 You'll never be a museum piece if you can't learn to hold still! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8588 Someday we'll fly through the sky together for emotional support. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8589 I have a very long waiting list... 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8590 Don't you realize that this is for posterity? Stop fidgeting, dammit! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8591 Remember. This is cursive. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8592 After examining your condition here, I've find that your right tusk is fine but I'm afraid the left one needs work. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8593 Anybody ever tell you that you're a dead ringer for a pachyderm? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8594 Can you imagine--the philosophers are content with just shadows. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
8595 Oh poop, I didn't know elephants have tusks! 1.0526 0.05263 38 37 0 1
8596 I hope it won't get misinterpreted. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
8597 Do you want me to make you less wholly? 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
8598 Turn sideways, I SAID TURN SIDEWAYS, I need a profile. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
8599 Be patient Cecil. I can always sell you back to the circus. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
8600 Please...try to remain still! 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8601 No, I'm sorry, we don't validate parking. (for Feb. 4 submission) 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8602 This was supposed to be a sitting, but I'm still working on them. 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8603 OK, so its Bob loves Sue 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8604 Having you as a live model will really help me render the details. If only I could figure out how to capture perspective. 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8605 No, it's not a cookie. 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8606 Believe me - you’re gonna like my rendition better than Grug’s back there. 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8607 Stop fidgeting! 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
8608 THE MINIMALIST 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
8609 Damnet, stand still! 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
8610 Let me get you on the wall in case I get hungry redecorating my ‘room’! 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
8611 Okay, but if I don’t like how it comes out, I’m just going to say it’s fake news. 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
8612 You're slouching. Pick your tusks up. 1.0476 0.03326 42 40 2 0
8613 I know, it's not the Mona Lisa, but what do you expect? 1.0476 0.03326 42 40 2 0
8614 It’s too dark in here. Let’s pose you out back in the tar pit. 1.0476 0.03326 42 40 2 0
8615 If you must know, I asked my girl friend to pose. he said, no. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
8616 Hold still, but you may be to big. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
8617 Oh, I can make you a great tinder bio! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
8618 I thought you said you were going to paint me like one of your French girls. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8619 Thanks for doing this. We humans need a picture to never forget. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8620 I know your ashamed, but the Trump is going to happen only in a million years, so stop whining and moving ! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8621 I'm already drawing it upright--think of a well tusked female. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8622 No, the auroch did not get time and a half! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8623 Where's that great memory everyone's been telling me about? 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8624 Hold still, you pesky pachyderm!!! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8625 Mickey please stop lowering your trunk, it affects the balance of light and I can't get the flesh tones correct. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8626 Now don’t you move 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8627 Expect a surcharge for the enhancements. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8628 Yes, this IS you -- I'm making a piano next. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8629 First, we are going to have to get you some really big ears. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8630 For a caveman, that's not too bad of a drawing. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8631 Be still! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8632 Smile! You're on Candid Cave Paintings! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8633 Throw your trunk in the corner and I'll rustle us up some franks. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8634 Can you just hold still!! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
8635 Hold still! I really need a good grade on this. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8636 'This is going in my trunk show." 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8637 Stomp, hold the pose. Keep the tusk up. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8638 Too bad your friend, Donkey Lonny, became extinct last year. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8639 Stand still so I can fit your tusks in this selfie! 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8640 Be still and hold your trunk up. You're gonna lose the gig if you keep acting bizarro. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8641 As for payment, I do accept Venmo. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8642 The opening is in 10,000 years. Too bad we'll miss it. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
8643 Hey, we would have finished long ago had you not sneezed all over that first attempt. 1.0278 0.02817 36 35 1 0
8644 Communication wins again. 1.0000 0.03175 32 32 0 0
8645 No, this does not mean that one side of your is better than the other. 1.0000 0.03175 32 32 0 0
8646 Trunk straight! Before immortalizing you, I'll need one more fondle. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8647 Stay still a second. I do forget. 1.0000 0.03175 32 32 0 0
8648 I hate modelling for such a damn historically slow painter. 1.0000 0.03077 33 33 0 0
8649 You're looking quite horny today. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8650 Take Iron Hills nuts off your chin. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8651 Seriously, where else can I go to find peace and be far away from humans? 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8652 Cleanup in aisle 2! 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8653 I can’t concentrate with your horns looking over my shoulder 1.0000 0.03175 32 32 0 0
8654 Why must it have thirten stripes and stars? 1.0000 0.03077 33 33 0 0
8655 How’bout an action pose. 1.0000 0.01550 65 65 0 0
8656 You know how hard it is to get a table up here? 1.0000 0.02410 42 42 0 0
8657 Thank you for posing in the nude. 1.0000 0.01170 86 86 0 0
8658 stop posting ugly photos of me on my wall 1.0000 0.01170 86 86 0 0
8659 Now, try to look like you're flirting, 1.0000 0.01170 86 86 0 0
8660 I'm paying you to be pretty, not for your opinion. 1.0000 0.01170 86 86 0 0
8661 Okay I will rub out a few wrinkles but just "touching up" the gray is not an option. 1.0000 0.01130 89 89 0 0
8662 Keep still or no peanuts. 1.0000 0.01130 89 89 0 0
8663 Give me a break. I'm doing everything Bob Ross tells us to do. 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8664 No, you don't get paid more for posing in the nude. 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8665 I'm a modernist. Modernists paint modern pachyderms. 1.0000 0.01835 55 55 0 0
8666 What? It’s not like you’re the Monalisa or something! 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8667 You said you could capture my essence, this looks very cavemanish... 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8668 Ok. Makeover possibility #1: we lose the tusks. See? 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8669 Trust me, we're going to be discovered. 1.0000 0.01105 91 91 0 0
8670 Caveman addressing the elephant in the room. 1.0000 0.01117 90 90 0 0
8671 Sure it's miniature. I'm writing your early history. 1.0000 0.01117 90 90 0 0
8672 It’s in case you forget what you look like. 1.0000 0.01117 90 90 0 0
8673 Hello?!… I said bring in the sabertooth tiger. 1.0000 0.01117 90 90 0 0
8674 I'm losing fire light here. Can we negotiate the licensing later? 1.0000 0.01058 95 95 0 0
8675 Okay I know how this must look, but I swear to you I'm a gatherer. 1.0000 0.01143 88 88 0 0
8676 No, you can't upload it. 1.0000 0.01058 95 95 0 0
8677 Hold still, I'm trying to get the light on your trunk just right. 1.0000 0.01198 84 84 0 0
8678 Don't worry, it's not to scale. 1.0000 0.01198 84 84 0 0
8679 I trust you won't forget, but the brush really does add ten pounds. 1.0000 0.02062 49 49 0 0
8680 Tusk, tusk, it is close enough. 1.0000 0.01550 65 65 0 0
8681 I'm so glad with the nuclear war over we can again start painting the President portrait. 1.0000 0.03279 31 31 0 0
8682 Republican or Democrat, which one huh? 1.0000 0.01399 72 72 0 0
8683 I like his trunk, but he's not very grayish! 1.0000 0.01399 72 72 0 0
8684 Why do you keep turning to the right? 1.0000 0.01399 72 72 0 0
8685 Don't give me that look, you're painting me next. 1.0000 0.01342 75 75 0 0
8686 Toughen up...baby pictures are NOT embarrassing! 1.0000 0.01361 74 74 0 0
8687 I keep telling you not to move your head! 1.0000 0.01942 52 52 0 0
8688 No! I can’t make you look skinnier! 1.0000 0.01361 74 74 0 0
8689 Yes, we will be here all day if you don't stop moving around. 1.0000 0.01361 74 74 0 0
8690 And here you are at a prepubescent prehistoric age. 1.0000 0.01258 80 80 0 0
8691 Could you try to look a little more terrifying? 1.0000 0.01274 79 79 0 0
8692 Of course, Mr Trunk. A lush cover of woolly hair. I was just about to paint it on. 1.0000 0.01242 81 81 0 0
8693 You are safe here until they invent the piano. 1.0000 0.01242 81 81 0 0
8694 Just remember -- I'm only doing portraits until the Bronze Age kicks in. 1.0000 0.01242 81 81 0 0
8695 Well, if you remember it so clearly, YOU draw it! 1.0000 0.01183 85 85 0 0
8696 Tomorrow can you bring your daughter and the pitchfork? 1.0000 0.01183 85 85 0 0
8697 Apparently you've never heard of aesthetic license. 1.0000 0.01361 74 74 0 0
8698 Awright already! Writer’s block. Let’s see you come up with a tale! 1.0000 0.02198 46 46 0 0
8699 What??? You can't hold it? I just started painting! 1.0000 0.01036 97 97 0 0
8700 No, I did not make your ears look too big. 1.0000 0.00995 101 101 0 0
8701 Hold still - I'm losing the daylight. 1.0000 0.00743 135 135 0 0
8702 Well, of course it's prmative! What did you expect? 1.0000 0.00743 135 135 0 0
8703 What do you mean I’m making you look fat?! 1.0000 0.00743 135 135 0 0
8704 OK! Smile for the brush! 1.0000 0.00712 141 141 0 0
8705 Can I move now, please? 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8706 I know, I know . . . the petroglyph adds ten pounds. 1.0000 0.00673 149 149 0 0
8707 No, see, you've moved again! This is going to be entirely unrealistic. 1.0000 0.00669 150 150 0 0
8708 You're paying for this. Do you want tusks or not? 1.0000 0.00608 165 165 0 0
8709 Before the elephant in the room, there was the elephant on the wall. 1.0000 0.00778 129 129 0 0
8710 Don't be self conscious, the cave drawing adds 10 lbs. 1.0000 0.00619 162 162 0 0
8711 The drawing is crude, sure, but just wait until you see its caption! 1.0000 0.00480 209 209 0 0
8712 Now turn for your next scene in 'Mammoth Masterpiece'. 1.0000 0.01626 62 62 0 0
8713 Canvas? I am not creating art to be found in the future. 1.0000 0.01600 63 63 0 0
8714 God! good thing I didn't paint a dinosaur. 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8715 do not take it as an omen but if you gave up your tusks you would be easier to represent 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8716 Oh, now, don't go pullin' a Churchill on me! 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8717 Not painting your wisdom teeth, they will fall off in a few thousand years anyway 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8718 Paint me like one of you Indian elephants. 1.0000 0.02299 44 44 0 0
8719 Ceci n'est pas une l'éléphant. 1.0000 0.00597 168 168 0 0
8720 I did tell you this cave adds ten pounds. 1.0000 0.00976 103 103 0 0
8721 Opposable thumbs, smarty pants! 1.0000 0.00797 126 126 0 0
8722 Frustrating, I figured out fire but I just can't get the tusks right. 1.0000 0.00823 122 122 0 0
8723 Hang on! I'll let you draw me in a minute. 1.0000 0.00995 101 101 0 0
8724 Okay, now say cheese. 1.0000 0.00995 101 101 0 0
8725 I find if I post everything I'm eating it keeps me more accountable. 1.0000 0.00995 101 101 0 0
8726 Please turn a little to the right. 1.0000 0.00995 101 101 0 0
8727 No, I haven't. Who's Fleetwood Mac? 1.0000 0.00976 103 103 0 0
8728 You just wiggled your ears again! How do you expect me to immortalize you if you cannot even stand still. 1.0000 0.00976 103 103 0 0
8729 Stop moving or it’ll take me a million years to finish! 1.0000 0.00976 103 103 0 0
8730 What do you mean “you forgot”? 1.0000 0.00930 108 108 0 0
8731 It's called 'artistic license', okay? 1.0000 0.00810 124 124 0 0
8732 Okay...where did those things come from? 1.0000 0.00930 108 108 0 0
8733 I’m the artist, and you do have stubby legs. 1.0000 0.00913 110 110 0 0
8734 This is you when you were a baby! 1.0000 0.00913 110 110 0 0
8735 I'm not used to working with paint, my usual medium is blood. 1.0000 0.00913 110 110 0 0
8736 If I'm a lousy artist, you're a worse elephant. 1.0000 0.00873 115 115 0 0
8737 Babe, I told you this is just for us. Besides, the way my career is going no one will ever care about my art. 1.0000 0.00858 117 117 0 0
8738 It's the first cel of an animated feature, so this might take a while 1.0000 0.00858 117 117 0 0
8739 Unless you pay scale, you won't be drawn to scale. 1.0000 0.00837 120 120 0 0
8740 Well in ten thousand years people might like it! 1.0000 0.00823 122 122 0 0
8741 Don't give me that look, it looks just like you! 1.0000 0.00930 108 108 0 0
8742 HIPPA schmippa...Name and address sir. You are requesting a new script for Viagra? 1.0000 0.03175 32 32 0 0