Rank |
Caption |
Mean |
Precision |
Total votes |
"Unfunny" votes |
"Somewhat funny" votes |
"Funny" votes |
0 |
Trust me. One day your portrait will be used as the symbol of a political party even more primitive than we are. |
1.8205 |
0.01805 |
2095 |
936 |
599 |
560 |
1 |
I know what you're thinking -- don't quit hunting and gathering. |
1.7951 |
0.01565 |
2509 |
1080 |
863 |
566 |
2 |
Well, if you want a record of your existence, it’s either this or the tar pits. |
1.7870 |
0.01449 |
3024 |
1350 |
968 |
706 |
3 |
You should have seen my parents when I told them I didn't want to be a hunter OR a gatherer. |
1.7854 |
0.01398 |
3159 |
1386 |
1065 |
708 |
4 |
I'm calling it "The Elephant in the Room" |
1.7851 |
0.01487 |
2834 |
1257 |
929 |
648 |
5 |
It's SUPPOSED to be primitive! |
1.7663 |
0.01578 |
2358 |
1032 |
845 |
481 |
6 |
Don't worry, it's just a cave painting. No one will ever see it. |
1.7633 |
0.01991 |
1407 |
598 |
544 |
265 |
7 |
The drawing is the easy part. It's coming up with a caption that's tough. |
1.7571 |
0.01466 |
2865 |
1314 |
933 |
618 |
8 |
It will be worth more when you're extinct. |
1.7553 |
0.01982 |
1549 |
707 |
514 |
328 |
9 |
How do you know it doesn't look like you? |
1.7543 |
0.01397 |
3085 |
1400 |
1043 |
642 |
10 |
One day you’ll be the symbol of a major political party. So, turn your head, lose all of your perspective, and don’t move one step forward. |
1.7421 |
0.02144 |
1423 |
696 |
398 |
329 |
11 |
As best as I can remember, this is what she looks like. Do you want me to arrange a date or not? |
1.7392 |
0.01954 |
1507 |
681 |
538 |
288 |
12 |
Don't worry - no one will see this in a million years. |
1.7342 |
0.01464 |
2773 |
1290 |
930 |
553 |
13 |
Your nose IS big. |
1.7314 |
0.02098 |
1385 |
658 |
441 |
286 |
14 |
Laugh now, but in a few thousand years people will go nuts for this stuff. |
1.7209 |
0.01922 |
1501 |
684 |
552 |
265 |
15 |
Excuse me, you ARE the elephant in the room. |
1.7061 |
0.02027 |
1446 |
704 |
463 |
279 |
16 |
What do you mean "what is it"? |
1.7037 |
0.02016 |
1448 |
704 |
469 |
275 |
17 |
I AM making your nose look smaller. |
1.6957 |
0.01690 |
1932 |
916 |
688 |
328 |
18 |
Fire is easy. Art is hard. |
1.6867 |
0.01841 |
1631 |
786 |
570 |
275 |
19 |
Stand still...you keep on moving too far to the right. |
1.6864 |
0.02373 |
1100 |
567 |
311 |
222 |
20 |
Of course it’s a nude. |
1.6713 |
0.02572 |
870 |
440 |
276 |
154 |
21 |
You're so vain, you probably think this wall is about you. |
1.6683 |
0.02050 |
1426 |
742 |
415 |
269 |
22 |
Don't worry. I'll make your tusks longer. |
1.6617 |
0.02962 |
606 |
298 |
215 |
93 |
23 |
Primitive? Compared to what? |
1.6571 |
0.01600 |
2222 |
1143 |
698 |
381 |
24 |
No, you will not be extinct before I am done! |
1.6501 |
0.02137 |
1249 |
651 |
384 |
214 |
25 |
OK, I'm done, you can put your clothes back on. |
1.6458 |
0.01850 |
1728 |
925 |
490 |
313 |
26 |
What do you want from me, it's the Ice Age not the Renaissance. |
1.6388 |
0.02089 |
1218 |
623 |
412 |
183 |
27 |
What did you think you looked like? |
1.6387 |
0.01970 |
1334 |
673 |
470 |
191 |
28 |
I think I'll call it 'The elephant in the room' |
1.6372 |
0.01728 |
1902 |
1010 |
572 |
320 |
29 |
Oh don't be such a prima-mastadonna |
1.6359 |
0.02122 |
1255 |
666 |
380 |
209 |
30 |
Don't worry, the cave wall always adds ten pounds. |
1.6255 |
0.02269 |
1044 |
549 |
337 |
158 |
31 |
Quit complaining! You were the one who said you would model for peanuts. |
1.6200 |
0.02087 |
1200 |
628 |
400 |
172 |
32 |
Would it kill you to smile? |
1.6190 |
0.01878 |
1551 |
832 |
478 |
241 |
33 |
What do you mean it looks 'primitive? |
1.6173 |
0.02155 |
1121 |
588 |
374 |
159 |
34 |
Which one of us has an art degree from Pre-Columbia? |
1.6143 |
0.02068 |
1286 |
697 |
388 |
201 |
35 |
Well of course it looks primitive! |
1.6084 |
0.01637 |
2030 |
1105 |
615 |
310 |
36 |
The lighting is perfect. Just don't stamp it out again. |
1.6035 |
0.02300 |
976 |
522 |
319 |
135 |
37 |
You said 'passport sized', right? |
1.6007 |
0.04245 |
298 |
163 |
91 |
44 |
38 |
What do you mean "what is it"? |
1.5890 |
0.02003 |
1326 |
737 |
397 |
192 |
39 |
It's called an emoji. It's going to be huge. |
1.5873 |
0.02356 |
979 |
551 |
281 |
147 |
40 |
Stop being so hard on yourself. You're just big-boned. |
1.5844 |
0.01891 |
1381 |
747 |
461 |
173 |
41 |
Maybe you can work from memory but I can't. |
1.5784 |
0.02147 |
1129 |
632 |
341 |
156 |
42 |
Is this the animal you saw leaving the scene? |
1.5764 |
0.02382 |
916 |
514 |
276 |
126 |
43 |
It’s the first painting ever—cut me some slack. |
1.5750 |
0.02026 |
1193 |
653 |
394 |
146 |
44 |
YES, almost there! You are the BIGGEST! You are the STRONGEST! You are the PROUDEST! Hold that! Love it.......L-O-V-E, LOVE IT! |
1.5727 |
0.02093 |
1156 |
645 |
360 |
151 |
45 |
Everybody's a critic. You've got four legs, a big nose, and you're fat, what am I missing here? |
1.5670 |
0.02164 |
1074 |
603 |
333 |
138 |
46 |
i know it's not realistic, I'm going through a primitive period. |
1.5668 |
0.02128 |
1071 |
592 |
351 |
128 |
47 |
I know it's a little crude, this is my first mammoth undertaking. |
1.5616 |
0.02482 |
796 |
446 |
253 |
97 |
48 |
And this is what you'll look like after surgery. |
1.5573 |
0.02349 |
951 |
553 |
266 |
132 |
49 |
Stop it. We haven’t invented perspective yet. |
1.5571 |
0.02258 |
937 |
523 |
306 |
108 |
50 |
You'll thank me for this when you're extinct. |
1.5571 |
0.02318 |
937 |
535 |
282 |
120 |
51 |
So sometimes, when two elephants love each other very, very much . . . |
1.5567 |
0.02771 |
706 |
417 |
185 |
104 |
52 |
Remember, once you post it, you can’t take it down. |
1.5538 |
0.02250 |
901 |
496 |
311 |
94 |
53 |
You should have gone to the bathroom before I started. |
1.5528 |
0.02412 |
861 |
494 |
258 |
109 |
54 |
You'll look mammoth, once I draw some tiny trees. |
1.5519 |
0.02455 |
877 |
516 |
238 |
123 |
55 |
Yes, very funny. Elephant in the room. I get it. Now can you just hold still? |
1.5500 |
0.02375 |
860 |
489 |
269 |
102 |
56 |
Yes, your tail is that small. |
1.5498 |
0.02362 |
864 |
490 |
273 |
101 |
57 |
OK! This angle does make you look fat! |
1.5446 |
0.02516 |
762 |
436 |
237 |
89 |
58 |
I call it "the elephant in the room". |
1.5437 |
0.02613 |
800 |
484 |
197 |
119 |
59 |
You want me to make you look woollier? |
1.5429 |
0.02392 |
792 |
443 |
268 |
81 |
60 |
I promise, you won't look a day over Pleistocene. |
1.5429 |
0.02497 |
792 |
459 |
236 |
97 |
61 |
Try to look more endangered. |
1.5399 |
0.02415 |
776 |
436 |
261 |
79 |
62 |
Of course it's not perfect. I'm evolving; you're not. |
1.5367 |
0.02612 |
736 |
434 |
209 |
93 |
63 |
I know I can't draw, but I did just invent fire. |
1.5330 |
0.02633 |
696 |
406 |
209 |
81 |
64 |
So I told my folks, I don't want to hunt or gather, I just wanna follow my passion for whatever this thing is that I'm doing. |
1.5318 |
0.02602 |
707 |
412 |
214 |
81 |
65 |
I'm more of a painter-gatherer. |
1.5284 |
0.02668 |
670 |
392 |
202 |
76 |
66 |
Don't worry I will caption it "not actual size." |
1.5274 |
0.02678 |
658 |
384 |
201 |
73 |
67 |
People are gonna to see this ten thousand years from now, and that's the face you wanna make? |
1.5272 |
0.02717 |
662 |
392 |
191 |
79 |
68 |
Good. Hold that pensive look. |
1.5250 |
0.02677 |
600 |
339 |
207 |
54 |
69 |
I look like an animal cracker. |
1.5248 |
0.02868 |
644 |
396 |
158 |
90 |
70 |
So...does this look like the kid who sprayed you. |
1.5243 |
0.02772 |
639 |
381 |
181 |
77 |
71 |
..No it doesn't make you look fat. |
1.5223 |
0.02800 |
628 |
376 |
176 |
76 |
72 |
'Primitive' is exactly what I'm going for. |
1.5205 |
0.02753 |
611 |
358 |
188 |
65 |
73 |
Calm down! It’s not like anyone is ever going to see it. |
1.5197 |
0.02786 |
610 |
361 |
181 |
68 |
74 |
When I'm done, you can write the caption. |
1.5169 |
0.02898 |
592 |
359 |
160 |
73 |
75 |
Your nose IS big. |
1.5163 |
0.02952 |
583 |
357 |
151 |
75 |
76 |
Cut me some slack! I am still getting used to this opposable thumb. |
1.5162 |
0.02897 |
587 |
355 |
161 |
71 |
77 |
Stand still please ,this is for the top of the Republican memo and I want at least one thing on it to be accurate. |
1.5134 |
0.02997 |
561 |
344 |
146 |
71 |
78 |
I AM addressing the elephant in the room! |
1.5132 |
0.03066 |
567 |
356 |
131 |
80 |
79 |
This is so you don't forget. |
1.5132 |
0.02899 |
567 |
340 |
163 |
64 |
80 |
I asked for fierce, don’t give me pouty. |
1.5125 |
0.02803 |
560 |
326 |
181 |
53 |
81 |
Relax, only my friends can see the pictures I post on my wall. |
1.5117 |
0.03053 |
555 |
345 |
136 |
74 |
82 |
Quit complaining. If you wanna be famous, it's either this, or the tar pit. |
1.5117 |
0.02967 |
555 |
337 |
152 |
66 |
83 |
30,000 years from now you’ll be famous. Now hold still! |
1.5114 |
0.02848 |
569 |
338 |
171 |
60 |
84 |
Now these spear throwers I am about to add - its just a bit of artistic license and nothing for you to be concerned about. |
1.5100 |
0.02994 |
551 |
337 |
147 |
67 |
85 |
No it does not look like an ant eater! |
1.5092 |
0.02917 |
542 |
323 |
162 |
57 |
86 |
They say the cave adds 10 pounds... |
1.5083 |
0.03010 |
539 |
329 |
146 |
64 |
87 |
This will be mammoth! |
1.5083 |
0.03002 |
541 |
330 |
147 |
64 |
88 |
No, I did not make your trunk look small. |
1.5083 |
0.03036 |
541 |
333 |
141 |
67 |
89 |
You'll thank me when you're extinct. |
1.5066 |
0.03102 |
531 |
331 |
131 |
69 |
90 |
And the other restroom will have a lady mammoth |
1.5064 |
0.03025 |
549 |
340 |
140 |
69 |
91 |
Why do you need a passport picture in the first place? |
1.5029 |
0.03154 |
509 |
318 |
126 |
65 |
92 |
Well yes, it is primitive. |
1.5029 |
0.02965 |
509 |
303 |
156 |
50 |
93 |
It’s not my fault, cave drawings always add ten pounds! |
1.5000 |
0.03065 |
498 |
303 |
141 |
54 |
94 |
It'll be worth a lot more once you're extinct. |
1.4990 |
0.03090 |
501 |
308 |
136 |
57 |
95 |
You'll thank me when you're extinct. |
1.4990 |
0.03186 |
489 |
305 |
124 |
60 |
96 |
What do you mean your right side is your best side? |
1.4980 |
0.03047 |
490 |
296 |
144 |
50 |
97 |
It's an aboriginal. |
1.4957 |
0.03241 |
470 |
294 |
119 |
57 |
98 |
Relax, it isn't like anyone will ever see this. |
1.4935 |
0.03258 |
464 |
291 |
117 |
56 |
99 |
Would you like the asteroid strike or the tar pit background? |
1.4912 |
0.03372 |
456 |
293 |
102 |
61 |
100 |
How would you know what you look like? |
1.4912 |
0.03326 |
454 |
288 |
109 |
57 |
101 |
This is no easy tusk. |
1.4901 |
0.03530 |
453 |
302 |
80 |
71 |
102 |
Who said it was supposed to be you? |
1.4900 |
0.03026 |
449 |
265 |
148 |
36 |
103 |
Don't worry, the cave always adds ten pounds. |
1.4888 |
0.03191 |
448 |
275 |
127 |
46 |
104 |
What do you mean, 'two-dimensional'? |
1.4888 |
0.03064 |
448 |
267 |
143 |
38 |
105 |
It's a little primitive, but... |
1.4886 |
0.03233 |
440 |
271 |
123 |
46 |
106 |
Derivative? How is that even possible? |
1.4860 |
0.03321 |
430 |
269 |
113 |
48 |
107 |
All the Mastodons are having their tusks airbrushed out. |
1.4849 |
0.03079 |
431 |
256 |
141 |
34 |
108 |
Can you look a little more vulnerable? This is for my "extinction" series. |
1.4849 |
0.03199 |
431 |
263 |
127 |
41 |
109 |
Fiercer. More anger. You hate me. You want me dead. Good ! |
1.4848 |
0.03391 |
429 |
273 |
104 |
52 |
110 |
Make up your mind - trunk up or trunk down |
1.4847 |
0.03144 |
425 |
255 |
134 |
36 |
111 |
Except, technically you’re not an elephant, and this isn’t a room. |
1.4835 |
0.03185 |
424 |
257 |
129 |
38 |
112 |
How do you expect me to work in these primitive conditions? |
1.4824 |
0.03098 |
427 |
255 |
138 |
34 |
113 |
Okay, you can get dressed and go now. And when you leave, would you ask the guy with the spear to come in? |
1.4822 |
0.03253 |
421 |
259 |
121 |
41 |
114 |
The hard part is to capture the feeling of 'an elephant in the room'. |
1.4822 |
0.03322 |
421 |
263 |
113 |
45 |
115 |
Do you want honesty, or do you want me to take some off the rump? |
1.4819 |
0.03340 |
415 |
259 |
112 |
44 |
116 |
Please try to duplicate the facial expression you had yesterday, Mona. |
1.4819 |
0.03374 |
415 |
261 |
108 |
46 |
117 |
How do you know it doesn't look like you? |
1.4819 |
0.03591 |
415 |
274 |
82 |
59 |
118 |
Frankly, the elevated trunk makes you look younger |
1.4806 |
0.03213 |
412 |
250 |
126 |
36 |
119 |
This is your best side, believe me . |
1.4806 |
0.03250 |
412 |
252 |
122 |
38 |
120 |
Yes, you’ve already mentioned your image adorns the Caves of Lascaux. |
1.4805 |
0.03422 |
410 |
260 |
103 |
47 |
121 |
You know who else complained that it takes too long? That’s right, the dinosaurs. |
1.4791 |
0.03333 |
407 |
253 |
113 |
41 |
122 |
Okay, okay. This time I’ll draw you chasing me. |
1.4776 |
0.03269 |
402 |
246 |
120 |
36 |
123 |
What did you expect? I'm a Neanderthal. |
1.4776 |
0.03250 |
402 |
245 |
122 |
35 |
124 |
I will NOT make you wooly! |
1.4775 |
0.03144 |
400 |
238 |
133 |
29 |
125 |
Couldn't you have done that outside? |
1.4774 |
0.03369 |
398 |
248 |
110 |
40 |
126 |
Did I mention you were my first nude? |
1.4774 |
0.03479 |
398 |
254 |
98 |
46 |
127 |
I'm calling it Plato's Republican. |
1.4761 |
0.03467 |
397 |
253 |
99 |
45 |
128 |
It’s my first nude too. |
1.4758 |
0.03456 |
393 |
249 |
101 |
43 |
129 |
Funding in the arts has really caved since we "made America great again." |
1.4758 |
0.03585 |
393 |
256 |
87 |
50 |
130 |
Don't complain. My last model worked for just peanuts. |
1.4745 |
0.03288 |
392 |
240 |
118 |
34 |
131 |
OK, OK. I'll draw that big, too. |
1.4742 |
0.03352 |
388 |
240 |
112 |
36 |
132 |
What do you mean, "It's derivative?" |
1.4704 |
0.03537 |
372 |
237 |
95 |
40 |
133 |
You're not tiny--you're in the distance. |
1.4692 |
0.03631 |
373 |
243 |
85 |
45 |
134 |
I paint what I see. You want five eyes on sideways, you know where Pablo's cave is. |
1.4688 |
0.03640 |
369 |
240 |
85 |
44 |
135 |
Hold still! Remember, you’re the symbol of the party that took us all back to the Stone Age! |
1.4685 |
0.03628 |
365 |
236 |
87 |
42 |
136 |
No, you don’t look fat in this picture. |
1.4685 |
0.03480 |
365 |
229 |
101 |
35 |
137 |
I'm gonna put feathers on it, just to mess with them. |
1.4681 |
0.03589 |
376 |
244 |
88 |
44 |
138 |
Yes, it’s primitive, but years from now, they’ll love it |
1.4677 |
0.03557 |
372 |
239 |
92 |
41 |
139 |
Relax, no one is ever going to see this. |
1.4676 |
0.03612 |
370 |
240 |
87 |
43 |
140 |
I'm going to paint in some people with spears so nobody knows I let you in here like this." |
1.4670 |
0.03421 |
364 |
226 |
106 |
32 |
141 |
Of course it doesn't look like you. It's an interpretation. |
1.4670 |
0.03421 |
364 |
226 |
106 |
32 |
142 |
They pin the tusks on at the party. |
1.4669 |
0.04122 |
287 |
187 |
66 |
34 |
143 |
Based on your ultrasound this is what you’re baby looks like today. |
1.4656 |
0.03621 |
363 |
235 |
87 |
41 |
144 |
You might like this one. She enjoys long walks on the beach, and, of course, wants a big family. |
1.4656 |
0.03558 |
363 |
232 |
93 |
38 |
145 |
If I had a longer stick we could both be in it. |
1.4651 |
0.03515 |
372 |
238 |
95 |
39 |
146 |
Contrapposto? Not in a million years. |
1.4639 |
0.03356 |
360 |
221 |
111 |
28 |
147 |
The first elphie. |
1.4629 |
0.03562 |
350 |
222 |
94 |
34 |
148 |
May I suggest the economy package. 8x10's for the Grandparents. 5x7's for close family and 3x5's for the herd. |
1.4613 |
0.03380 |
349 |
214 |
109 |
26 |
149 |
So, is this your first trip to Lascaux? |
1.4611 |
0.03490 |
347 |
217 |
100 |
30 |
150 |
You should have thought of that before you agreed to pose nude. |
1.4593 |
0.03744 |
344 |
226 |
78 |
40 |
151 |
Give me a break. I just learned how to make fire. |
1.4591 |
0.03621 |
342 |
219 |
89 |
34 |
152 |
It doesn’t look like much now but wait 50,000 years. |
1.4591 |
0.03574 |
342 |
217 |
93 |
32 |
153 |
Someday, elephant in the room will have a whole new meaning. |
1.4565 |
0.03691 |
333 |
215 |
84 |
34 |
154 |
This way you'll be preserved for thousands of years. But without all the tar. |
1.4562 |
0.03607 |
331 |
210 |
91 |
30 |
155 |
How long were the assailant's tusks? |
1.4562 |
0.03530 |
331 |
207 |
97 |
27 |
156 |
I suppose you want longer tusks? |
1.4562 |
0.03451 |
331 |
204 |
103 |
24 |
157 |
More pouty. |
1.4545 |
0.03589 |
330 |
209 |
92 |
29 |
158 |
What do you mean "your good side"? |
1.4545 |
0.03764 |
330 |
216 |
78 |
36 |
159 |
Yes - your ass really looks that big. |
1.4540 |
0.03682 |
337 |
219 |
83 |
35 |
160 |
Oh, great, the first critic. |
1.4537 |
0.03529 |
324 |
202 |
97 |
25 |
161 |
Yes, you are the elephant in the room. |
1.4527 |
0.03674 |
338 |
220 |
83 |
35 |
162 |
I'm glad you're ash gray. That's the only color I've got. |
1.4520 |
0.03798 |
323 |
212 |
76 |
35 |
163 |
How do you feel about becoming a symbol for a group of assholes? |
1.4520 |
0.04114 |
323 |
225 |
50 |
48 |
164 |
And here we have a rendering of what you'll look like after the tusk reduction surgery. |
1.4511 |
0.03850 |
317 |
209 |
73 |
35 |
165 |
Trust me, no one will ever see it. |
1.4511 |
0.03798 |
317 |
207 |
77 |
33 |
166 |
Sure, it's small but one day you'll be considered mammoth. |
1.4511 |
0.03439 |
317 |
194 |
103 |
20 |
167 |
You claimed I didn't know what I was doing when I mastered fire either. |
1.4494 |
0.03858 |
316 |
209 |
72 |
35 |
168 |
You don't charge. I don't charge. That's the deal. |
1.4494 |
0.03753 |
316 |
205 |
80 |
31 |
169 |
I know it's primitive, I'm a Neanderthal. |
1.4487 |
0.03732 |
312 |
201 |
82 |
29 |
170 |
You really think anyone's going to care in 10,000 years how big your tusks look? |
1.4487 |
0.03841 |
312 |
205 |
74 |
33 |
171 |
Would it kill you to smile? |
1.4484 |
0.03886 |
310 |
205 |
71 |
34 |
172 |
Oh, I’m no Picasso? Well, you’re no Babar. |
1.4481 |
0.03850 |
308 |
202 |
74 |
32 |
173 |
Okay, okay. So now we ARE addressing the elephant in the room. |
1.4444 |
0.03836 |
297 |
193 |
76 |
28 |
174 |
Jenna, the smartest elephant in her herd, endures the first known instance of mansplaining. |
1.4430 |
0.04110 |
298 |
204 |
56 |
38 |
175 |
I know what you are thinking. It looks cartoonish. |
1.4430 |
0.03884 |
298 |
196 |
72 |
30 |
176 |
Whad'ya say we add an extra horn just to keep them guessing? |
1.4426 |
0.03903 |
296 |
195 |
71 |
30 |
177 |
Hold that pose, the light off the advancing ice sheet is just perfect! |
1.4426 |
0.03814 |
296 |
192 |
77 |
27 |
178 |
Is there anything else that comes to mind about the perpetrator? |
1.4411 |
0.03922 |
297 |
197 |
69 |
31 |
179 |
Maybe this doesn't look like you but your party doesn't look like you anymore. |
1.4407 |
0.04085 |
295 |
201 |
58 |
36 |
180 |
Because a man gets lonely, Sheila, that’s why! |
1.4407 |
0.03822 |
295 |
192 |
76 |
27 |
181 |
Hold still and don't sneeze. |
1.4407 |
0.03882 |
295 |
194 |
72 |
29 |
182 |
This will be worth millions once you are extinct. |
1.4407 |
0.03792 |
295 |
191 |
78 |
26 |
183 |
I know. It's not my best. At least it won't be up there forever. |
1.4407 |
0.03852 |
295 |
193 |
74 |
28 |
184 |
The little arrows? Don't worry, they're purely decorative. |
1.4407 |
0.03852 |
295 |
193 |
74 |
28 |
185 |
This is the first baby picture I took of you |
1.4403 |
0.03654 |
293 |
185 |
87 |
21 |
186 |
I'm leaving off the tusks for your own protection. |
1.4394 |
0.03940 |
289 |
191 |
69 |
29 |
187 |
I'll never finish my masterpiece, "Under the Tusk and Sun" if you keep blocking my light! |
1.4388 |
0.03769 |
294 |
190 |
79 |
25 |
188 |
It may not look like much now, but give it 10,000 years! |
1.4388 |
0.03831 |
294 |
192 |
75 |
27 |
189 |
Relax, this is just my rough draft. No one's going to see this. |
1.4388 |
0.03831 |
294 |
192 |
75 |
27 |
190 |
I'm calling this the Mammoth Lisa |
1.4375 |
0.03949 |
288 |
191 |
68 |
29 |
191 |
Less toothy. |
1.4375 |
0.04215 |
288 |
200 |
50 |
38 |
192 |
No one thinks tusk size has any correlation to that. |
1.4375 |
0.03918 |
288 |
190 |
70 |
28 |
193 |
I had to use ashes, spit and berries...it'll never last. |
1.4375 |
0.03695 |
288 |
183 |
84 |
21 |
194 |
No, I didn't go to art school. Did you go to elephant school? |
1.4366 |
0.03697 |
284 |
180 |
84 |
20 |
195 |
Yes, you have to be naked. |
1.4357 |
0.03834 |
280 |
181 |
76 |
23 |
196 |
I’m still not sure about the pearl earring. |
1.4355 |
0.04079 |
287 |
195 |
59 |
33 |
197 |
Fine, I'll leave out the guys with spears. |
1.4332 |
0.03759 |
277 |
177 |
80 |
20 |
198 |
Your kin will be the mascots for an extinct political party in a less evolved society. |
1.4332 |
0.04279 |
277 |
193 |
48 |
36 |
199 |
You won't be offended if I depict myself chasing you with a spear. |
1.4327 |
0.03982 |
275 |
182 |
67 |
26 |
200 |
Are you sure you only want the wallet sizes? |
1.4307 |
0.03428 |
267 |
161 |
97 |
9 |
201 |
Now point to where he touched you. |
1.4301 |
0.04113 |
272 |
184 |
59 |
29 |
202 |
'I can give you hair – no one's going to know for sure.' |
1.4301 |
0.04113 |
272 |
184 |
59 |
29 |
203 |
To document our elephant in the room. |
1.4301 |
0.03875 |
272 |
177 |
73 |
22 |
204 |
OK , in this scene we will be hunting you. Can you give me your scared face? |
1.4291 |
0.04157 |
268 |
182 |
57 |
29 |
205 |
Simple? Yes, but primitive sells. |
1.4286 |
0.04111 |
266 |
179 |
60 |
27 |
206 |
Lighten up. One day you won't be fat, you'll be mammoth. |
1.4280 |
0.04203 |
264 |
180 |
55 |
29 |
207 |
Smile, this one's for the ages. |
1.4280 |
0.04099 |
264 |
177 |
61 |
26 |
208 |
Of course it doesn't look like you! I'm an Impressionist! |
1.4275 |
0.04191 |
262 |
178 |
56 |
28 |
209 |
Come on, think.... We'll never get her back if you can't remember more details! |
1.4270 |
0.03959 |
267 |
176 |
68 |
23 |
210 |
Five more minutes and you can put the robe back on. |
1.4259 |
0.03660 |
263 |
165 |
84 |
14 |
211 |
All I have is gray. |
1.4253 |
0.03986 |
261 |
172 |
67 |
22 |
212 |
Okay, now what's the caption? |
1.4253 |
0.04095 |
261 |
175 |
61 |
25 |
213 |
Trust me, this is a better way to be frozen in time. |
1.4247 |
0.03077 |
259 |
149 |
110 |
0 |
214 |
It's a cartoon. Say something funny and I'll write it underneath. |
1.4247 |
0.04007 |
259 |
171 |
66 |
22 |
215 |
No, you won't be extinct before I finish! |
1.4247 |
0.04154 |
259 |
175 |
58 |
26 |
216 |
You seem tense. Is this the first time you’ve posed nude? |
1.4247 |
0.04260 |
259 |
178 |
52 |
29 |
217 |
But you are fat. |
1.4247 |
0.03893 |
259 |
168 |
72 |
19 |
218 |
Someday you'll become a symbol of political corruption and everyone will want to know where it all began. |
1.4242 |
0.04234 |
264 |
182 |
52 |
30 |
219 |
Yes, your nose is that big. |
1.4237 |
0.04083 |
262 |
176 |
61 |
25 |
220 |
It’s very post-neanderthal |
1.4221 |
0.03888 |
263 |
172 |
71 |
20 |
221 |
You really want to make that face? This might be on the wall for some time. |
1.4219 |
0.03961 |
256 |
168 |
68 |
20 |
222 |
I said, 'Listen, Dad, there's more to life than just hunting and gathering.' |
1.4211 |
0.04101 |
247 |
164 |
62 |
21 |
223 |
I have an exhibit opening upriver at Lascaux next month. |
1.4211 |
0.03853 |
247 |
158 |
74 |
15 |
224 |
I can’t pay you but it’ll be great exposure! |
1.4206 |
0.04082 |
252 |
168 |
62 |
22 |
225 |
Mind if I make it more dramatic and draw myself as hunting you? |
1.4194 |
0.04245 |
248 |
169 |
54 |
25 |
226 |
Can you give me an enigmatic smile? |
1.4187 |
0.03947 |
246 |
160 |
69 |
17 |
227 |
Yes Mr. President, your tusks will be bigger than your predecessors. |
1.4187 |
0.04270 |
246 |
168 |
53 |
25 |
228 |
I'm telling ya, this IS your good side. |
1.4180 |
0.04073 |
256 |
172 |
61 |
23 |
229 |
Yeah, extinction sucks. But cave art is forever. |
1.4163 |
0.03738 |
245 |
155 |
78 |
12 |
230 |
Because you ARE fat! |
1.4163 |
0.04319 |
245 |
169 |
50 |
26 |
231 |
No I can't give you an enigmatic smile. |
1.4163 |
0.03956 |
245 |
160 |
68 |
17 |
232 |
It's the best I can do under such primative circumstances. |
1.4160 |
0.04164 |
238 |
159 |
59 |
20 |
233 |
In a thousand years, no one will care what you actually looked like. |
1.4156 |
0.04020 |
243 |
160 |
65 |
18 |
234 |
It's an ELEPHANT... how could you not GET that! |
1.4156 |
0.04345 |
243 |
168 |
49 |
26 |
235 |
Yes, I do think it captures your "inner mastodon"! |
1.4153 |
0.03922 |
236 |
152 |
70 |
14 |
236 |
I'm working as fast as I can. This is a mammoth undertaking. |
1.4149 |
0.04042 |
241 |
159 |
64 |
18 |
237 |
Noah suggested we leave pictures of anyone not planning to meet him at the ark tomorrow. |
1.4142 |
0.03797 |
239 |
152 |
75 |
12 |
238 |
Of course it's 'primitive!' |
1.4142 |
0.04108 |
239 |
159 |
61 |
19 |
239 |
... And this is you after rhinoplasty. |
1.4142 |
0.04357 |
239 |
165 |
49 |
25 |
240 |
How do you know you don't look exactly like this? |
1.4142 |
0.04065 |
239 |
158 |
63 |
18 |
241 |
I promise. I'll make the tusks really big. |
1.4142 |
0.04317 |
239 |
164 |
51 |
24 |
242 |
Evidence that early media was biased towards Republicans |
1.4142 |
0.04477 |
239 |
168 |
43 |
28 |
243 |
What do you mean, “this is taking ages”? |
1.4142 |
0.04234 |
239 |
162 |
55 |
22 |
244 |
No picture, no boarding. Direct orders from Noah. |
1.4128 |
0.04451 |
235 |
164 |
45 |
26 |
245 |
We should also post your likes, dislikes, hobbies...looking to settle down, or just want to have some fun? |
1.4120 |
0.04396 |
233 |
161 |
48 |
24 |
246 |
Try to look more Paleolithic... |
1.4113 |
0.03576 |
231 |
142 |
83 |
6 |
247 |
Again, could you just try to look a little more wooly and, you know, mammoth? |
1.4113 |
0.03780 |
231 |
146 |
75 |
10 |
248 |
Everybody wants bigger tusks! |
1.4110 |
0.04395 |
236 |
164 |
47 |
25 |
249 |
Be patient...this is a mammoth undertaking. |
1.4095 |
0.04146 |
232 |
155 |
59 |
18 |
250 |
Well if your memory is so great, why don't you draw her? |
1.4095 |
0.04190 |
232 |
156 |
57 |
19 |
251 |
Yes, Thag. I'm adding the tusks, and yes, they'll be "the biggest ones anyone has ever seen." Geez, you'd think this was a presidential portrait. |
1.4095 |
0.04533 |
232 |
164 |
41 |
27 |
252 |
Yes it's primitive. I suppose that's to be expected. |
1.4093 |
0.03620 |
237 |
148 |
81 |
8 |
253 |
Don't move, and don't go extinct on me. |
1.4093 |
0.04128 |
237 |
159 |
59 |
19 |
254 |
No you're not adopted. Look, here's a picture of you when we brought you home. |
1.4087 |
0.04348 |
230 |
158 |
50 |
22 |
255 |
Goose me one more time, and I'm outta here! |
1.4087 |
0.04644 |
230 |
165 |
36 |
29 |
256 |
Yes, you really look like this. |
1.4087 |
0.04078 |
230 |
152 |
62 |
16 |
257 |
Fine! I'll make it bigger! |
1.4087 |
0.04031 |
230 |
151 |
64 |
15 |
258 |
It does NOT make you look like a mammoth. |
1.4087 |
0.04304 |
230 |
157 |
52 |
21 |
259 |
I'll have you know that I trained at Lascaux. |
1.4087 |
0.04435 |
230 |
160 |
46 |
24 |
260 |
Now move your legs like you're running. |
1.4085 |
0.04063 |
235 |
156 |
62 |
17 |
261 |
Yes, your nose is that big. |
1.4085 |
0.04152 |
235 |
158 |
58 |
19 |
262 |
You can wear the pearl earrings next time. |
1.4085 |
0.04365 |
235 |
163 |
48 |
24 |
263 |
I don't care what Adam named you; I'm calling you Babar. |
1.4079 |
0.04195 |
228 |
153 |
57 |
18 |
264 |
Make your best "I'm about to go extinct" face. |
1.4079 |
0.04148 |
228 |
152 |
59 |
17 |
265 |
This is going to be prehistoric! |
1.4079 |
0.04591 |
228 |
162 |
39 |
27 |
266 |
No, I don’t think they look too small. |
1.4079 |
0.03859 |
228 |
146 |
71 |
11 |
267 |
I think the small tusks make you look younger. |
1.4079 |
0.04240 |
228 |
154 |
55 |
19 |
268 |
Don't be silly. The cave wall always adds 10 extra pounds. |
1.4076 |
0.04114 |
238 |
160 |
59 |
19 |
269 |
I can have it ready in about an hour but copies will run you extra. |
1.4071 |
0.03829 |
226 |
144 |
72 |
10 |
270 |
Give me that faraway look |
1.4069 |
0.04333 |
231 |
159 |
50 |
22 |
271 |
If you say "primitive" one more time . . . |
1.4068 |
0.04224 |
236 |
161 |
54 |
21 |
272 |
Primitive, I know! What do you expect? |
1.4068 |
0.04224 |
236 |
161 |
54 |
21 |
273 |
Yes I will make your tusks look mammoth |
1.4068 |
0.04350 |
236 |
164 |
48 |
24 |
274 |
Is "Ceci n'est Pas Un Mammoth" too pretentious? |
1.4054 |
0.04223 |
222 |
149 |
56 |
17 |
275 |
Yes I smell it, very funny. |
1.4054 |
0.04126 |
222 |
147 |
60 |
15 |
276 |
I won't charge if you don't. |
1.4053 |
0.04431 |
227 |
158 |
46 |
23 |
277 |
A little to the right, please? Oh, I see... you're about as far right as an elephant can be. |
1.4045 |
0.04100 |
220 |
145 |
61 |
14 |
278 |
Thanks for posing for me...and don't worry about what 'menu' means. |
1.4037 |
0.04516 |
218 |
152 |
44 |
22 |
279 |
Yes, it is supposed to look like it was painted by a caveman. |
1.4036 |
0.04208 |
223 |
150 |
56 |
17 |
280 |
Primitive? I call it contemporary. |
1.4027 |
0.04424 |
221 |
153 |
47 |
21 |
281 |
Tusks down, just a little and try to look coquettish. |
1.4027 |
0.04168 |
226 |
152 |
57 |
17 |
282 |
Let's screw with their heads a few thousand years from now and give you a sombrero! |
1.4020 |
0.04637 |
204 |
142 |
42 |
20 |
283 |
Because, not everyone has your kind of memory. |
1.4018 |
0.04309 |
219 |
149 |
52 |
18 |
284 |
...and they’ll use a donkey for the Democrats! |
1.4018 |
0.04591 |
219 |
155 |
40 |
24 |
285 |
Mammoth, Mastodon....whatever....you all look pretty much the same on a cave wall. |
1.4018 |
0.04160 |
219 |
146 |
58 |
15 |
286 |
Okay, okay, I'll make your tusks larger |
1.4009 |
0.04336 |
217 |
148 |
51 |
18 |
287 |
I know it’s primitive, but I’m still evolving as an artist. |
1.4009 |
0.04528 |
217 |
152 |
43 |
22 |
288 |
I work in miniatures. I thought you knew that when you hired me. |
1.4009 |
0.04082 |
217 |
143 |
61 |
13 |
289 |
In ten thousand years, no one will care what you looked like. |
1.4009 |
0.04059 |
227 |
151 |
61 |
15 |
290 |
This is going to blow those hand prints out of the water. |
1.4000 |
0.04702 |
200 |
140 |
40 |
20 |
291 |
Show me where he touched you. |
1.3981 |
0.04541 |
216 |
152 |
42 |
22 |
292 |
Well, the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.3972 |
0.04273 |
214 |
145 |
53 |
16 |
293 |
Why the long face? |
1.3972 |
0.04375 |
214 |
147 |
49 |
18 |
294 |
Honestly, in 30,000 years who will know the difference? |
1.3972 |
0.04375 |
214 |
147 |
49 |
18 |
295 |
I've decided it's time to address the elephant in the room. |
1.3971 |
0.04237 |
209 |
140 |
55 |
14 |
296 |
You're my biggest commission to date. |
1.3971 |
0.04014 |
209 |
136 |
63 |
10 |
297 |
A little less long in the tooth? |
1.3971 |
0.04397 |
209 |
143 |
49 |
17 |
298 |
It's not supposed to look just like you. It's Art! |
1.3971 |
0.03393 |
209 |
126 |
83 |
0 |
299 |
Yes, your nose does look like that. |
1.3963 |
0.04077 |
217 |
144 |
60 |
13 |
300 |
I'm not a cave painter, I'm a cave artist. |
1.3962 |
0.04141 |
212 |
141 |
58 |
13 |
301 |
Wouldn't a caption kind of ruin it? |
1.3962 |
0.04248 |
212 |
143 |
54 |
15 |
302 |
Trust me, this will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. |
1.3962 |
0.04248 |
212 |
143 |
54 |
15 |
303 |
I paint what I see. |
1.3962 |
0.04195 |
212 |
142 |
56 |
14 |
304 |
What...? You said I could post this! |
1.3962 |
0.04032 |
212 |
139 |
62 |
11 |
305 |
Call me a dreamer, but one day this image will represent cutting taxes and blaming immigrants. |
1.3962 |
0.04650 |
212 |
151 |
38 |
23 |
306 |
Okay, you can put your clothes back on. |
1.3962 |
0.04453 |
212 |
147 |
46 |
19 |
307 |
Move again and I'll add feathers. |
1.3953 |
0.04601 |
215 |
153 |
39 |
23 |
308 |
It's post-modern, but not yet. |
1.3953 |
0.04408 |
215 |
149 |
47 |
19 |
309 |
No, I'm not adding "a little extra girth" to the trunk |
1.3953 |
0.04408 |
215 |
149 |
47 |
19 |
310 |
No, I can't make you look thinner. |
1.3952 |
0.04483 |
210 |
146 |
45 |
19 |
311 |
I’d like to leave off the tusks just to create some buzz with the Paleoanthropologists. |
1.3952 |
0.04167 |
210 |
140 |
57 |
13 |
312 |
Okay, now does this look like the one who started the stampede? |
1.3944 |
0.04335 |
213 |
146 |
50 |
17 |
313 |
When you go extinct, the price will go through the roof. |
1.3942 |
0.04461 |
208 |
144 |
46 |
18 |
314 |
Actually, the singular is 'graffito' |
1.3942 |
0.04355 |
208 |
142 |
50 |
16 |
315 |
hold still, this one is for the Ages |
1.3942 |
0.04355 |
208 |
142 |
50 |
16 |
316 |
Just relax. You won't be here much longer. |
1.3942 |
0.04564 |
208 |
146 |
42 |
20 |
317 |
Eh... Can you make my trunk look a little bigger? |
1.3942 |
0.04355 |
208 |
142 |
50 |
16 |
318 |
You're not the only one who's working for peanuts. |
1.3942 |
0.04461 |
208 |
144 |
46 |
18 |
319 |
I'm sorry, but the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.3942 |
0.04247 |
208 |
140 |
54 |
14 |
320 |
Images on the wall may appear smaller than they actually are. |
1.3942 |
0.04461 |
208 |
144 |
46 |
18 |
321 |
Waddaya mean,'The nose is too big'? |
1.3941 |
0.04318 |
203 |
137 |
52 |
14 |
322 |
Whaddaya mean, you don't remember? |
1.3935 |
0.04242 |
216 |
147 |
53 |
16 |
323 |
*not drawn to scale* |
1.3934 |
0.03751 |
211 |
134 |
71 |
6 |
324 |
What do mean your nose looks big? |
1.3932 |
0.04697 |
206 |
147 |
37 |
22 |
325 |
Adding a caption would ruin it! |
1.3922 |
0.03763 |
204 |
129 |
70 |
5 |
326 |
I'm just saying, it's hard to focus when there's an elephant in the room. |
1.3911 |
0.04329 |
202 |
137 |
51 |
14 |
327 |
Now I’ll never forget you, either. |
1.3911 |
0.04272 |
202 |
136 |
53 |
13 |
328 |
Prehistoric Police Sketch Artist - "Did he have any scars or tattoos that you remember?" |
1.3911 |
0.04155 |
202 |
134 |
57 |
11 |
329 |
Not cave painter, cave artist. |
1.3911 |
0.04329 |
202 |
137 |
51 |
14 |
330 |
I call it, "Elephant in the Room." |
1.3911 |
0.04711 |
202 |
144 |
37 |
21 |
331 |
You are fat. I'm not "making" you look fat! |
1.3900 |
0.04472 |
200 |
138 |
46 |
16 |
332 |
Hold still. This is for the ages! |
1.3900 |
0.04583 |
200 |
140 |
42 |
18 |
333 |
It's hard to think of something else to draw when there's an elephant in the room. |
1.3900 |
0.04583 |
200 |
140 |
42 |
18 |
334 |
The cave always adds ten pounds. |
1.3900 |
0.04527 |
200 |
139 |
44 |
17 |
335 |
It is a design for a cracker. |
1.3900 |
0.04744 |
200 |
143 |
36 |
21 |
336 |
Is this the guy who gave you trouble this morning? |
1.3889 |
0.04502 |
198 |
137 |
45 |
16 |
337 |
Give me that, 'I'm going extinct', pouty look.> |
1.3889 |
0.04208 |
198 |
132 |
55 |
11 |
338 |
Would you mind if I stuck a couple of spears in you, just for dynamic effect? |
1.3889 |
0.04502 |
198 |
137 |
45 |
16 |
339 |
I'll admit that fire was a little more impressive. |
1.3883 |
0.04156 |
206 |
138 |
56 |
12 |
340 |
I can't pay you, but think about all the exposure you'll get. |
1.3881 |
0.04105 |
201 |
133 |
58 |
10 |
341 |
Don't worry, this will make you look 10,000 years younger. |
1.3881 |
0.04564 |
201 |
141 |
42 |
18 |
342 |
Wall adds ten pounds. |
1.3881 |
0.04725 |
201 |
144 |
36 |
21 |
343 |
And I promise you, when I'm finished, everyone will be talking about the elephant in the room. |
1.3881 |
0.04564 |
201 |
141 |
42 |
18 |
344 |
Does this look like the guy who ran off with your mate? |
1.3881 |
0.04283 |
201 |
136 |
52 |
13 |
345 |
....so the elephant said to the naked man, "How do you breathe through that thing?" |
1.3881 |
0.04397 |
201 |
138 |
48 |
15 |
346 |
Goose me one more time, and I'm erasing your picture. |
1.3881 |
0.04672 |
201 |
143 |
38 |
20 |
347 |
This painting will be one for the ages. |
1.3858 |
0.04339 |
197 |
134 |
50 |
13 |
348 |
...Okay mammoth done. Guys with the spears ... you're up! |
1.3858 |
0.04278 |
197 |
133 |
52 |
12 |
349 |
See? I airbrushed them out. Happy now? |
1.3846 |
0.04427 |
195 |
134 |
47 |
14 |
350 |
It's called primitive, and some day people will pay big bucks for it. |
1.3846 |
0.04487 |
195 |
135 |
45 |
15 |
351 |
How many times do I have to explain to you tht I am not trying to ensure the success of the hunt. I am only capturing my impressions of the transitory nature of existence. |
1.3846 |
0.03853 |
195 |
125 |
65 |
5 |
352 |
Give me softer eyes, a far-away look of longing |
1.3846 |
0.04427 |
195 |
134 |
47 |
14 |
353 |
Sorry, the cave wall adds 10 tons. |
1.3846 |
0.04827 |
195 |
141 |
33 |
21 |
354 |
I cropped the nose and edited out those unsightly growths. I call it "protoshop." |
1.3846 |
0.04772 |
195 |
140 |
35 |
20 |
355 |
I think I'll call it art. |
1.3834 |
0.04335 |
193 |
131 |
50 |
12 |
356 |
It hasn't caught on yet, but I predict that pretty soon everyone will be talking about The Elephant in the Room. |
1.3834 |
0.04457 |
193 |
133 |
46 |
14 |
357 |
In this one should I have you chasing us or us hunting you? |
1.3822 |
0.04549 |
191 |
133 |
43 |
15 |
358 |
It is not... truncated! And stop with the new words! |
1.3822 |
0.04426 |
191 |
131 |
47 |
13 |
359 |
'Could you make me look mammoth?' |
1.3817 |
0.03884 |
186 |
119 |
63 |
4 |
360 |
Yes, I realize a cold cave causes shrinkage. |
1.3817 |
0.04172 |
186 |
123 |
55 |
8 |
361 |
It makes you look fat because you are. |
1.3817 |
0.03808 |
186 |
118 |
65 |
3 |
362 |
You're not fat. The paint brush adds ten pounds. |
1.3810 |
0.04457 |
189 |
130 |
46 |
13 |
363 |
"I draw like a caveman?! |
1.3810 |
0.04642 |
189 |
133 |
40 |
16 |
364 |
Trust me, you’ll be famous in 35,000 years. |
1.3810 |
0.04702 |
189 |
134 |
38 |
17 |
365 |
Why, yes, you are Rubenesque. |
1.3810 |
0.04581 |
189 |
132 |
42 |
15 |
366 |
Now, how many wallet-size are you gonna need? |
1.3810 |
0.04702 |
189 |
134 |
38 |
17 |
367 |
Paint in color? Forget it. The New Yorker won't go there for at least another 12 million years. |
1.3807 |
0.04450 |
197 |
137 |
45 |
15 |
368 |
Who knows, maybe this will be worth something in 10,000 years. |
1.3797 |
0.04676 |
187 |
132 |
39 |
16 |
369 |
Norman Rockwall. |
1.3797 |
0.04737 |
187 |
133 |
37 |
17 |
370 |
I’m just posting on my wall, did you want me to tag you? |
1.3797 |
0.04737 |
187 |
133 |
37 |
17 |
371 |
One more move, and someone’s gonna wish he was extinct. |
1.3797 |
0.04291 |
187 |
126 |
51 |
10 |
372 |
Trust me, this is your best side |
1.3797 |
0.04737 |
187 |
133 |
37 |
17 |
373 |
The good news is I've invented the fresco. The bad news is you can't take it home." |
1.3797 |
0.04357 |
187 |
127 |
49 |
11 |
374 |
Now give me that enigmatic smile. |
1.3791 |
0.04368 |
182 |
123 |
49 |
10 |
375 |
Draw you with big ears, flying? Not in a million years! |
1.3791 |
0.04437 |
182 |
124 |
47 |
11 |
376 |
Hold still..!! It's either this or being frozen in a glacier..!! |
1.3791 |
0.04766 |
182 |
129 |
37 |
16 |
377 |
Just wait. One day, it'll be worth a thousand words. |
1.3784 |
0.04251 |
185 |
124 |
52 |
9 |
378 |
It's a free interpretation of your stature. Nothing is written in stone, you know. |
1.3777 |
0.04594 |
188 |
132 |
41 |
15 |
379 |
So who made you an art critic? |
1.3770 |
0.04617 |
183 |
128 |
41 |
14 |
380 |
Nobody likes a critic. |
1.3770 |
0.04681 |
183 |
129 |
39 |
15 |
381 |
Yes, it's supposed to be you. |
1.3770 |
0.04551 |
183 |
127 |
43 |
13 |
382 |
Hold still! This may be the only reminder that the GOP once existed and used to stand for something ! |
1.3770 |
0.04617 |
183 |
128 |
41 |
14 |
383 |
Now, ma’am, are you certain this is the mammoth that assaulted you? |
1.3770 |
0.04870 |
183 |
132 |
33 |
18 |
384 |
You'll thank me for this once you become extinct. |
1.3770 |
0.04551 |
183 |
127 |
43 |
13 |
385 |
People will talk about my 'Elephant in the Room' for epochs to come. |
1.3770 |
0.04870 |
183 |
132 |
33 |
18 |
386 |
Do you want on the Ark or not? |
1.3770 |
0.04485 |
183 |
126 |
45 |
12 |
387 |
Well yes, literally I suppose my art is primitive |
1.3770 |
0.04745 |
183 |
130 |
37 |
16 |
388 |
Yes, I can make your nose smaller, but it won't look like you. |
1.3763 |
0.04093 |
186 |
123 |
56 |
7 |
389 |
I'm better with herds. |
1.3763 |
0.03799 |
186 |
119 |
64 |
3 |
390 |
I can't pay you anything, but this is great exposure for you. |
1.3763 |
0.03949 |
186 |
121 |
60 |
5 |
391 |
What did you expect? It's primitive art. |
1.3763 |
0.04368 |
186 |
127 |
48 |
11 |
392 |
No! Your butt does not look Mammoth. |
1.3763 |
0.04563 |
186 |
130 |
42 |
14 |
393 |
They were called Republicans and you are the last one! |
1.3763 |
0.04811 |
186 |
134 |
34 |
18 |
394 |
I’m hoping for my 15,000 years of fame. |
1.3757 |
0.04584 |
181 |
126 |
42 |
13 |
395 |
I'm not writing 'not to scale'. |
1.3757 |
0.04448 |
181 |
124 |
46 |
11 |
396 |
What, you and the donkey can't even be in the same room together? |
1.3757 |
0.04650 |
181 |
127 |
40 |
14 |
397 |
The incisions would leave minimal scarring, and the resulting symmetry could accentuate your main feature. |
1.3757 |
0.04780 |
181 |
129 |
36 |
16 |
398 |
To identify the suspect, I'll need more details than "un-wolly" and "non-mamothly". |
1.3757 |
0.04650 |
181 |
127 |
40 |
14 |
399 |
You have a very extinct look. |
1.3757 |
0.04584 |
181 |
126 |
42 |
13 |
400 |
Then what happened? |
1.3757 |
0.04907 |
181 |
131 |
32 |
18 |
401 |
It's hard copy–it will last for years. |
1.3757 |
0.04584 |
181 |
126 |
42 |
13 |
402 |
Carl, I know your eyes are green but all we have is brown, beige, and darker brown |
1.3757 |
0.04378 |
181 |
123 |
48 |
10 |
403 |
I hear you. But I am a miniaturist. |
1.3757 |
0.04516 |
181 |
125 |
44 |
12 |
404 |
This really is your best side. |
1.3757 |
0.04516 |
181 |
125 |
44 |
12 |
405 |
You call that a smile? |
1.3757 |
0.04378 |
181 |
123 |
48 |
10 |
406 |
Primitive? I'd like to see you do any better! |
1.3757 |
0.04448 |
181 |
124 |
46 |
11 |
407 |
Based on your description does this look like the beast that attacked you? |
1.3757 |
0.04716 |
181 |
128 |
38 |
15 |
408 |
Listen, they asked for a mastodon, but if you can't hold a pose, I know plenty of mammoths who would kill for this gig. |
1.3757 |
0.04650 |
181 |
127 |
40 |
14 |
409 |
In summary, our new ad campaign with take the GOP into the Stone Age. |
1.3757 |
0.04716 |
181 |
128 |
38 |
15 |
410 |
Were you able to get a look at his tusks? |
1.3757 |
0.05031 |
181 |
133 |
28 |
20 |
411 |
I did not say you look pale. I said you look Paleo. |
1.3750 |
0.04596 |
184 |
129 |
41 |
14 |
412 |
Trust me. You're gonna be huge. |
1.3750 |
0.04660 |
184 |
130 |
39 |
15 |
413 |
It's called a portrait. If you drew it, it would be called a self-portrait. |
1.3750 |
0.04660 |
184 |
130 |
39 |
15 |
414 |
Don't move! We need to leave proof that we existed. |
1.3750 |
0.04596 |
184 |
129 |
41 |
14 |
415 |
Listen, Babar - Celeste is my model, period. There's nothing between us. |
1.3743 |
0.04543 |
187 |
131 |
42 |
14 |
416 |
It's abstract art. Don't take it personally. |
1.3743 |
0.04076 |
187 |
124 |
56 |
7 |
417 |
It's your baby picture. |
1.3736 |
0.04629 |
182 |
128 |
40 |
14 |
418 |
Hold still. I need to get this done before you go extinct. |
1.3736 |
0.04629 |
182 |
128 |
40 |
14 |
419 |
Trust me, the clubbing, spearing, and stone throwing that I am about to draw is for artistic effect only. |
1.3736 |
0.04496 |
182 |
126 |
44 |
12 |
420 |
Got it? Now you draw me. |
1.3710 |
0.04619 |
186 |
132 |
39 |
15 |
421 |
What else can you tell me about him?! |
1.3710 |
0.04681 |
186 |
133 |
37 |
16 |
422 |
Now remember. The kids can only look at this for an hour while their mother and I are out. |
1.3710 |
0.04426 |
186 |
129 |
45 |
12 |
423 |
You should leave, I’m going to start painting in the hunters and I don’t want to ruin the ending for you. |
1.3710 |
0.04619 |
186 |
132 |
39 |
15 |
424 |
I know it doesn't look like you but who's gonna know that in 50,000 years. |
1.3708 |
0.04698 |
178 |
126 |
38 |
14 |
425 |
Do you want the dung pile in or out? |
1.3699 |
0.04792 |
173 |
123 |
36 |
14 |
426 |
Hold Still! I'd like to get this done before you go extinct!! |
1.3693 |
0.04594 |
176 |
123 |
41 |
12 |
427 |
Don't worry, no one will ever see this! |
1.3693 |
0.04664 |
176 |
124 |
39 |
13 |
428 |
I don't know how to make you look sexier than this. You're already completely naked. |
1.3693 |
0.04522 |
176 |
122 |
43 |
11 |
429 |
Okay, I've removed the wrinkles. Satisfied? |
1.3693 |
0.04664 |
176 |
124 |
39 |
13 |
430 |
Give me your best "I just trampled a Neanderthal" look |
1.3693 |
0.04069 |
176 |
116 |
55 |
5 |
431 |
Will you hold still? I'm trying to finish before you go extinct. |
1.3693 |
0.04801 |
176 |
126 |
35 |
15 |
432 |
OK. Let’s try one with the furry sweater. |
1.3693 |
0.04664 |
176 |
124 |
39 |
13 |
433 |
Of course the cave wall adds some pounds |
1.3693 |
0.04522 |
176 |
122 |
43 |
11 |
434 |
This is post prehistoric realism man. A protest against the materialistic trade in ivory. A crime whose time is yet to come. Also, I can’t do horns. They’re too curvy. |
1.3693 |
0.03822 |
176 |
113 |
61 |
2 |
435 |
It's called contemporary art. |
1.3693 |
0.04868 |
176 |
127 |
33 |
16 |
436 |
If you say, "You paint like a Neanderthal" one more time... |
1.3693 |
0.04801 |
176 |
126 |
35 |
15 |
437 |
Give me fierce but also extinct. |
1.3678 |
0.04838 |
174 |
125 |
34 |
15 |
438 |
Unless you want to be remembered for that double chin, keep your tusks up like I told you. |
1.3678 |
0.04699 |
174 |
123 |
38 |
13 |
439 |
This will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. |
1.3678 |
0.04482 |
174 |
120 |
44 |
10 |
440 |
It's art. No one will think you were actually this size. |
1.3678 |
0.04699 |
174 |
123 |
38 |
13 |
441 |
The art world will call this huge, no, mammoth! |
1.3678 |
0.04628 |
174 |
122 |
40 |
12 |
442 |
No. It's only a selfie if you draw it. |
1.3669 |
0.04491 |
169 |
116 |
44 |
9 |
443 |
OK, sure it's a little rough, but you forget I'm a primitive artist! |
1.3669 |
0.04165 |
169 |
112 |
52 |
5 |
444 |
Yes, I’ll make your tusks look big |
1.3669 |
0.04794 |
169 |
120 |
36 |
13 |
445 |
You are indeed my main source of food and clothing, but please do not underestimate your value as my muse. |
1.3663 |
0.04588 |
172 |
120 |
41 |
11 |
446 |
This is one for the ages! |
1.3663 |
0.04438 |
172 |
118 |
45 |
9 |
447 |
Now I'm just going to add a happy little tree right here |
1.3663 |
0.04945 |
172 |
125 |
31 |
16 |
448 |
If I win this round I can go to Lascaux. |
1.3663 |
0.04945 |
172 |
125 |
31 |
16 |
449 |
C’mon, it’ll be worth a thousand words when they invent the alphabet! |
1.3663 |
0.04202 |
172 |
115 |
51 |
6 |
450 |
I really think this one will go down in pre-history. |
1.3663 |
0.04734 |
172 |
122 |
37 |
13 |
451 |
No, the picture does not make you look fat. |
1.3663 |
0.04806 |
172 |
123 |
35 |
14 |
452 |
When I said you can take a bathroom break, I didn't mean RIGHT HERE! |
1.3663 |
0.04806 |
172 |
123 |
35 |
14 |
453 |
Try to show more vulnerability. |
1.3663 |
0.04806 |
172 |
123 |
35 |
14 |
454 |
I swear if you say "Tusk, tusk" just one more time. . . |
1.3663 |
0.04806 |
172 |
123 |
35 |
14 |
455 |
We'll try again. This time don't blink! |
1.3663 |
0.04945 |
172 |
125 |
31 |
16 |
456 |
And this is your baby picture. |
1.3663 |
0.04806 |
172 |
123 |
35 |
14 |
457 |
And despite what you've heard, no, I do not sleep with my models. |
1.3653 |
0.04361 |
167 |
113 |
47 |
7 |
458 |
So who went extinct and made you an art critic? |
1.3653 |
0.04523 |
167 |
115 |
43 |
9 |
459 |
Cave drawings always add ten pounds. |
1.3653 |
0.04105 |
167 |
110 |
53 |
4 |
460 |
Oh, so now everybody's an art critic. |
1.3653 |
0.04756 |
167 |
118 |
37 |
12 |
461 |
When you’re wise beyond your ears, smaller ones are better. |
1.3647 |
0.04985 |
170 |
124 |
30 |
16 |
462 |
Wait, you wanted it to scale? |
1.3647 |
0.04697 |
170 |
120 |
38 |
12 |
463 |
You're so vain, you probably think this painting's about you. |
1.3647 |
0.04697 |
170 |
120 |
38 |
12 |
464 |
Well, its supposed to be primitive! |
1.3647 |
0.04391 |
170 |
116 |
46 |
8 |
465 |
What do you mean you can't remember? |
1.3647 |
0.04771 |
170 |
121 |
36 |
13 |
466 |
I see your trunk has fallen. Do we need a break? |
1.3647 |
0.04697 |
170 |
120 |
38 |
12 |
467 |
I know you're bigger than this. I'm drawing how you look from far away. |
1.3647 |
0.03796 |
170 |
109 |
60 |
1 |
468 |
No, I would describe it as 'big-boned'. |
1.3647 |
0.04697 |
170 |
120 |
38 |
12 |
469 |
Honestly, I’m just screwing with future archeologists. |
1.3647 |
0.04914 |
170 |
123 |
32 |
15 |
470 |
Can you do that mysterious but alluring half-smile for me again? |
1.3647 |
0.04914 |
170 |
123 |
32 |
15 |
471 |
Thousands of years from now people will pay to see this. |
1.3647 |
0.04771 |
170 |
121 |
36 |
13 |
472 |
Because you ARE fat! |
1.3647 |
0.04622 |
170 |
119 |
40 |
11 |
473 |
"Are you familiar with primitivism? |
1.3647 |
0.04146 |
170 |
113 |
52 |
5 |
474 |
My goal is to decorate this whole cave space. It will be a mammoth project. |
1.3647 |
0.04697 |
170 |
120 |
38 |
12 |
475 |
Did the suspect have tusks? |
1.3647 |
0.04914 |
170 |
123 |
32 |
15 |
476 |
Don't be such a primadonna; in 3 million years no one is going to care how fat you look. |
1.3647 |
0.04622 |
170 |
119 |
40 |
11 |
477 |
Oh, come on, who cares if your nose is crooked? It's not like anyone's ever going to see this. |
1.3631 |
0.03998 |
168 |
110 |
55 |
3 |
478 |
It's my mastopiece. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
479 |
Can you give me a pose that says hunted to extinction? |
1.3631 |
0.05096 |
168 |
124 |
27 |
17 |
480 |
Don't get too pleased with yourself. I've got a donkey coming in right after you. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
481 |
I need you to stand still! My memory is not as good as yours. |
1.3631 |
0.04733 |
168 |
119 |
37 |
12 |
482 |
You're the perfect model. You never forget an appointment and you work for peanuts. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
483 |
Don't look so petrified. |
1.3631 |
0.04954 |
168 |
122 |
31 |
15 |
484 |
No no, you look great! The wall adds a few pounds. |
1.3631 |
0.04501 |
168 |
116 |
43 |
9 |
485 |
Just stand still. This portrait will be one for the ages. |
1.3631 |
0.04501 |
168 |
116 |
43 |
9 |
486 |
Sorry, but that’s what you look like !!! |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
487 |
Don't move. We haven't invented perspective yet. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
488 |
I know they're missing - just want to mess with some archeologists a few million years from now. |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
489 |
Look, this is cave painting; I don't care which art academy you went to. |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
490 |
I'll tell you, this was a heck of a lot easier than that damn saber-tooth. |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
491 |
You are the worst at Pictionary. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
492 |
Let's hurry this up, I've got the sabertooth tiger coming at dusk. |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
493 |
Ya, and you’re no Mona Lisa. |
1.3631 |
0.04954 |
168 |
122 |
31 |
15 |
494 |
Sorry, the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.3631 |
0.04881 |
168 |
121 |
33 |
14 |
495 |
If you don't stop moving, we'll never be done. |
1.3631 |
0.04501 |
168 |
116 |
43 |
9 |
496 |
OK, OK, I'll make them bigger. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
497 |
Hold still. It's hard to erase. |
1.3631 |
0.04580 |
168 |
117 |
41 |
10 |
498 |
I promise. No men with spears. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
499 |
In a million years from now no one will even know it was you. |
1.3631 |
0.04733 |
168 |
119 |
37 |
12 |
500 |
I'm going through a minimalist phase. |
1.3631 |
0.04808 |
168 |
120 |
35 |
13 |
501 |
Stop complaining. All my models are naked. |
1.3631 |
0.04657 |
168 |
118 |
39 |
11 |
502 |
Don't worry - no one's ever going to see it. |
1.3631 |
0.04580 |
168 |
117 |
41 |
10 |
503 |
It's not supposed to be life-sized. |
1.3631 |
0.04422 |
168 |
115 |
45 |
8 |
504 |
Hold still. Hannibal says you have to leave in an hour. |
1.3626 |
0.04525 |
171 |
119 |
42 |
10 |
505 |
I might not be da Vinci, but you're no Mona Lisa. |
1.3620 |
0.04248 |
163 |
109 |
49 |
5 |
506 |
A longer trunk will make you look old. |
1.3614 |
0.04286 |
166 |
112 |
48 |
6 |
507 |
You have very extinct features. |
1.3614 |
0.04920 |
166 |
120 |
32 |
14 |
508 |
Yea that's pretty much what he looked like, he was also wearing a knit cap. |
1.3614 |
0.04846 |
166 |
119 |
34 |
13 |
509 |
Okay, you can put your robe back on now. |
1.3614 |
0.04770 |
166 |
118 |
36 |
12 |
510 |
So she called you a wooly mammoth. My wife calls me a hairy beast. |
1.3609 |
0.05139 |
169 |
126 |
25 |
18 |
511 |
... and stop calling me Masta' Don |
1.3609 |
0.03980 |
169 |
111 |
55 |
3 |
512 |
There. I made it smaller. Are you happy now? |
1.3609 |
0.04320 |
169 |
115 |
47 |
7 |
513 |
I'm not appreciated in my own time either. |
1.3598 |
0.04401 |
164 |
112 |
45 |
7 |
514 |
Alright already, I’ll make them bigger! |
1.3598 |
0.04485 |
164 |
113 |
43 |
8 |
515 |
One day everyone will have an emotional support animal. |
1.3598 |
0.04485 |
164 |
113 |
43 |
8 |
516 |
Whaddaya mean I made you look fat? |
1.3588 |
0.04612 |
170 |
120 |
39 |
11 |
517 |
Don't worry, nothing is to scale. |
1.3580 |
0.04432 |
162 |
111 |
44 |
7 |
518 |
Hold that smile. |
1.3580 |
0.04924 |
162 |
117 |
32 |
13 |
519 |
Objects on the wall may appear smaller than they really are. |
1.3580 |
0.04766 |
162 |
115 |
36 |
11 |
520 |
Some of us remember things by writing them down. |
1.3580 |
0.04924 |
162 |
117 |
32 |
13 |
521 |
My day job is a hunter-gatherer. |
1.3580 |
0.04256 |
162 |
109 |
48 |
5 |
522 |
Yes, I think I captured your sense of ennui. |
1.3580 |
0.05152 |
162 |
120 |
26 |
16 |
523 |
It's called 'Instagrammoth' |
1.3571 |
0.04577 |
154 |
106 |
41 |
7 |
524 |
Before you vanish from the face of the earth, hold still for heaven's sake. |
1.3571 |
0.04759 |
154 |
108 |
37 |
9 |
525 |
Make up your mind, trunk out or trunk down? |
1.3567 |
0.04609 |
157 |
109 |
40 |
8 |
526 |
This is going to blow their minds - nobody's done anything but hand prints before. |
1.3567 |
0.04519 |
157 |
108 |
42 |
7 |
527 |
This is the first painting in history, the least you could do is smile. |
1.3567 |
0.04783 |
157 |
111 |
36 |
10 |
528 |
THIS is what you mate with. Okay? |
1.3567 |
0.04951 |
157 |
113 |
32 |
12 |
529 |
Yes, it’s a nude, but it’s tasteful. |
1.3562 |
0.04375 |
160 |
109 |
45 |
6 |
530 |
I may not know who this "Rembrandt" is, but I can detect sarcasm. |
1.3562 |
0.04721 |
160 |
113 |
37 |
10 |
531 |
Listen Ralph...the tusks are the hardest part... |
1.3558 |
0.04495 |
163 |
113 |
42 |
8 |
532 |
Yes, your ears really are that small. |
1.3558 |
0.04821 |
163 |
117 |
34 |
12 |
533 |
Could you give me more of a pre-extinction expression? |
1.3548 |
0.03963 |
155 |
101 |
53 |
1 |
534 |
Now pretend you've got a spear in your side. |
1.3548 |
0.04992 |
155 |
112 |
31 |
12 |
535 |
Don't be alarmed, but now I'm going to bring in some guys with spears. |
1.3544 |
0.05085 |
158 |
116 |
28 |
14 |
536 |
What's a republican? |
1.3544 |
0.04842 |
158 |
113 |
34 |
11 |
537 |
Stop evolving and stand still! |
1.3540 |
0.04442 |
161 |
111 |
43 |
7 |
538 |
Yes, yes, of course -- I'll make your tusks look really HUGE. |
1.3540 |
0.04442 |
161 |
111 |
43 |
7 |
539 |
It's not SUPPOSED to be realistic. I'm a primitive painter. |
1.3540 |
0.04778 |
161 |
115 |
35 |
11 |
540 |
What do you mean, you look bloated? |
1.3540 |
0.05016 |
161 |
118 |
29 |
14 |
541 |
...so when a mommy elephant and a daddy elephant love each other very much... |
1.3540 |
0.05016 |
161 |
118 |
29 |
14 |
542 |
But you ARE big boned. |
1.3540 |
0.04859 |
161 |
116 |
33 |
12 |
543 |
It will be worth more when you're extinct. |
1.3537 |
0.04796 |
164 |
118 |
34 |
12 |
544 |
Just think, your descendants will be the symbol of the Republican party. |
1.3537 |
0.04873 |
164 |
119 |
32 |
13 |
545 |
I'm calling it "The Elephant in the Room" |
1.3537 |
0.04796 |
164 |
118 |
34 |
12 |
546 |
Try to look more extinct. |
1.3537 |
0.04556 |
164 |
115 |
40 |
9 |
547 |
Say something funny, we'll invent the cartoon. |
1.3537 |
0.04796 |
164 |
118 |
34 |
12 |
548 |
It'll be worth more when you're dead. |
1.3526 |
0.05129 |
156 |
115 |
27 |
14 |
549 |
What do you men"truncated'? |
1.3526 |
0.04343 |
156 |
106 |
45 |
5 |
550 |
I have a feeling that people will appreciate my work only after I'm dead. |
1.3526 |
0.04620 |
156 |
109 |
39 |
8 |
551 |
You be thinking of a caption while I add the finishing touches. |
1.3526 |
0.04709 |
156 |
110 |
37 |
9 |
552 |
Poking me with those things isn't going to make this go any faster |
1.3526 |
0.04881 |
156 |
112 |
33 |
11 |
553 |
Hold still, and no I don't know why it's so cold outside. |
1.3526 |
0.05048 |
156 |
114 |
29 |
13 |
554 |
Look, I tried to tell you the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.3526 |
0.04709 |
156 |
110 |
37 |
9 |
555 |
The brush always adds another hundred pounds. |
1.3526 |
0.04343 |
156 |
106 |
45 |
5 |
556 |
Don't be shy. We're in a cave. No one will ever see this. |
1.3526 |
0.04796 |
156 |
111 |
35 |
10 |
557 |
The wall adds 10 pounds! |
1.3526 |
0.04620 |
156 |
109 |
39 |
8 |
558 |
Okay now go get the donkey. I'm going to invent something called politics and it's going to be fucking awesome. |
1.3526 |
0.04796 |
156 |
111 |
35 |
10 |
559 |
Give me a break I can barely see in here! |
1.3526 |
0.04343 |
156 |
106 |
45 |
5 |
560 |
I call it an elephant, something you could never be in a million years. |
1.3526 |
0.04965 |
156 |
113 |
31 |
12 |
561 |
Future generations will know we noticed the mastodon in the living room. |
1.3526 |
0.04620 |
156 |
109 |
39 |
8 |
562 |
No, it really is that big. |
1.3526 |
0.04709 |
156 |
110 |
37 |
9 |
563 |
For the umpteenth time, no! This angle does *not* make your tusks look "weird." |
1.3526 |
0.05048 |
156 |
114 |
29 |
13 |
564 |
Hold still, I need to finish this before the ice age. |
1.3526 |
0.04620 |
156 |
109 |
39 |
8 |
565 |
First you promise not to gore me with them. Then I paint them as big as you want. |
1.3526 |
0.04530 |
156 |
108 |
41 |
7 |
566 |
Stand still, dammit! |
1.3526 |
0.04709 |
156 |
110 |
37 |
9 |
567 |
I'm gonna say this one more time. It's. Not. To. Scale! |
1.3519 |
0.04913 |
162 |
118 |
31 |
13 |
568 |
I am not going to double your trunk size in the picture." "This is why I hate to paint elephants! |
1.3519 |
0.04505 |
162 |
113 |
41 |
8 |
569 |
Of course you're cold, it's the Ice Age. |
1.3519 |
0.04834 |
162 |
117 |
33 |
12 |
570 |
You can't see my early work because this is my early work. |
1.3519 |
0.04673 |
162 |
115 |
37 |
10 |
571 |
Am I the only one who will acknowledge the mastodon in the room? |
1.3510 |
0.04622 |
151 |
105 |
39 |
7 |
572 |
OK, can you describe the hair color of the first hunter? |
1.3506 |
0.04834 |
154 |
110 |
34 |
10 |
573 |
Will you stay still, you’re going to be extinct in a little while. |
1.3506 |
0.04469 |
154 |
106 |
42 |
6 |
574 |
The walls always add 10 pounds |
1.3506 |
0.04834 |
154 |
110 |
34 |
10 |
575 |
Okay, now give me that come-hither look. |
1.3506 |
0.04469 |
154 |
106 |
42 |
6 |
576 |
Yes, I know what tusk size correlates to. |
1.3506 |
0.04921 |
154 |
111 |
32 |
11 |
577 |
I'm really into abstract expressionism. I just do portraits on the side. |
1.3506 |
0.04834 |
154 |
110 |
34 |
10 |
578 |
You should be happy. You’ve been selected as the symbol for the Neanderthal Party |
1.3506 |
0.05091 |
154 |
113 |
28 |
13 |
579 |
Don't worry, the wall adds ten pounds. |
1.3506 |
0.04921 |
154 |
111 |
32 |
11 |
580 |
It's not supposed to look "like" you, it's supposed to "be" you. |
1.3506 |
0.05007 |
154 |
112 |
30 |
12 |
581 |
Oh, yeah! Well, for your information, primitive art is very now. |
1.3506 |
0.04921 |
154 |
111 |
32 |
11 |
582 |
Stop complaining. I just took 2500 pounds off your figure. |
1.3506 |
0.05007 |
154 |
112 |
30 |
12 |
583 |
Why wouldn't I paint the elephant in the room?! |
1.3506 |
0.05091 |
154 |
113 |
28 |
13 |
584 |
Just a suggestion...have you tried the new whitening strips? |
1.3506 |
0.04746 |
154 |
109 |
36 |
9 |
585 |
Thanks for helping me draw the election district. |
1.3506 |
0.05335 |
154 |
116 |
22 |
16 |
586 |
This IS your best side. |
1.3506 |
0.04746 |
154 |
109 |
36 |
9 |
587 |
Hurry up, would ya? I can't stand here for ages." |
1.3506 |
0.04655 |
154 |
108 |
38 |
8 |
588 |
Now try to make an enigmatic, mysterious half-smile. |
1.3506 |
0.05007 |
154 |
112 |
30 |
12 |
589 |
You said you wanted to look younger. |
1.3506 |
0.04746 |
154 |
109 |
36 |
9 |
590 |
You're going to have to trust me. That's what you look like! |
1.3506 |
0.04921 |
154 |
111 |
32 |
11 |
591 |
It's not supposed to look like you. It's modern art. |
1.3506 |
0.04834 |
154 |
110 |
34 |
10 |
592 |
You think anyone's going to know it's not a good likeness in 20,000 years? |
1.3503 |
0.04770 |
157 |
112 |
35 |
10 |
593 |
You're my first plus-size model. |
1.3497 |
0.04483 |
163 |
114 |
41 |
8 |
594 |
I look like an anteater |
1.3497 |
0.04730 |
163 |
117 |
35 |
11 |
595 |
What the hell is a caption? |
1.3497 |
0.04730 |
163 |
117 |
35 |
11 |
596 |
You must remember other details about the assailant. Tusks? Wooly? |
1.3497 |
0.04730 |
163 |
117 |
35 |
11 |
597 |
For the last time, you don't have a good side. |
1.3497 |
0.04809 |
163 |
118 |
33 |
12 |
598 |
It's your baby picture. |
1.3497 |
0.04649 |
163 |
116 |
37 |
10 |
599 |
Would you be more comfortable if I was naked too? |
1.3490 |
0.04459 |
149 |
102 |
42 |
5 |
600 |
I know it’s taking a long time, but I want it to last. |
1.3490 |
0.04658 |
149 |
104 |
38 |
7 |
601 |
Why, yes, the lighting is brand new. Just invented it this morning. |
1.3490 |
0.04251 |
149 |
100 |
46 |
3 |
602 |
Well, maybe it's not a Kehinde Wiley, but you're not exactly a Barack Obama, either. |
1.3490 |
0.05033 |
149 |
108 |
30 |
11 |
603 |
Of course you look fat. You’re a mammoth! |
1.3487 |
0.04598 |
152 |
106 |
39 |
7 |
604 |
Don’t move and stop evolving. |
1.3487 |
0.04598 |
152 |
106 |
39 |
7 |
605 |
Admittedly, my skills are pretty primitive. |
1.3487 |
0.04598 |
152 |
106 |
39 |
7 |
606 |
Now give me an enigmatic smile; I want this one to have staying power. |
1.3487 |
0.04692 |
152 |
107 |
37 |
8 |
607 |
Like you could do better . |
1.3487 |
0.04874 |
152 |
109 |
33 |
10 |
608 |
It is too bad that our ancestors didn't have this technology |
1.3484 |
0.04808 |
155 |
111 |
34 |
10 |
609 |
No, I will not make it longer. |
1.3484 |
0.04808 |
155 |
111 |
34 |
10 |
610 |
You paint me next, so they'll know we both were here. |
1.3484 |
0.04895 |
155 |
112 |
32 |
11 |
611 |
In 40,000 years people will go crazy over this stuff—so will you please just stand still for another five goddamn minutes! |
1.3484 |
0.04631 |
155 |
109 |
38 |
8 |
612 |
You’ve had some work done, haven’t you? |
1.3484 |
0.04895 |
155 |
112 |
32 |
11 |
613 |
Its called Cro-Magnon Style. Its not supposed to be representational |
1.3484 |
0.04720 |
155 |
110 |
36 |
9 |
614 |
Are you sure this is exactly how you remember it? |
1.3484 |
0.04895 |
155 |
112 |
32 |
11 |
615 |
Okay, let's address the elephant in the room. |
1.3484 |
0.04631 |
155 |
109 |
38 |
8 |
616 |
No, I am not making your nose too big. |
1.3484 |
0.04631 |
155 |
109 |
38 |
8 |
617 |
Yes, tar makes the best paint, and yes... I'm sorry about your brother. |
1.3476 |
0.04705 |
164 |
118 |
35 |
11 |
618 |
C'mon, baby, show me more trunk...work with me, work with me. |
1.3476 |
0.04705 |
164 |
118 |
35 |
11 |
619 |
Okay, now give me that "last-mammoth-on-earth" pout... |
1.3476 |
0.04625 |
164 |
117 |
37 |
10 |
620 |
Act natural. |
1.3467 |
0.05093 |
150 |
110 |
28 |
12 |
621 |
I feel it makes you more approachable. |
1.3467 |
0.04334 |
150 |
102 |
44 |
4 |
622 |
Don't change a thing -plus size models are in. |
1.3467 |
0.04914 |
150 |
108 |
32 |
10 |
623 |
If your family have such good memories, why do they commission portraits? |
1.3467 |
0.04914 |
150 |
108 |
32 |
10 |
624 |
Now, Give me a haunted look of Extinction |
1.3467 |
0.04822 |
150 |
107 |
34 |
9 |
625 |
No, you just have big bones. |
1.3467 |
0.04633 |
150 |
105 |
38 |
7 |
626 |
I'm doing my best- depth perception doesn't fully evolve until the Upper Paleolithic Period. |
1.3467 |
0.04122 |
150 |
100 |
48 |
2 |
627 |
I pay my models in cash. If you want to be drawn for peanuts, go find Charles Schultz. |
1.3467 |
0.05266 |
150 |
112 |
24 |
14 |
628 |
Okay, okay, I'll put him on your back, but not until someone invents orange so I can get the hair right. |
1.3467 |
0.05180 |
150 |
111 |
26 |
13 |
629 |
No, I can't paint is so your trunk follows people around the room. |
1.3467 |
0.04822 |
150 |
107 |
34 |
9 |
630 |
You moved. Now it's going to be blurry. |
1.3467 |
0.05180 |
150 |
111 |
26 |
13 |
631 |
So what would be your opinion if I added myself throwing a few spears at you?... |
1.3467 |
0.04914 |
150 |
108 |
32 |
10 |
632 |
Trust me -- this IS your good side. |
1.3467 |
0.04334 |
150 |
102 |
44 |
4 |
633 |
I'm almost done, be patient. Millions of years from now this drawing will represent a powerful political party that will be led by a Dodo. |
1.3467 |
0.05266 |
150 |
112 |
24 |
14 |
634 |
What do you mean 'it's not your good side'? |
1.3467 |
0.04633 |
150 |
105 |
38 |
7 |
635 |
Would you stop being so critical? I've only just mastered my opposable thumbs! |
1.3467 |
0.05004 |
150 |
109 |
30 |
11 |
636 |
And, if my wife comes back, put your clothes back on |
1.3464 |
0.05106 |
153 |
113 |
27 |
13 |
637 |
Well, it's a lot better than your painting of me! |
1.3464 |
0.05106 |
153 |
113 |
27 |
13 |
638 |
What do you mean the nose is too big? |
1.3464 |
0.04076 |
153 |
102 |
49 |
2 |
639 |
Try not to evolve while I'm painting. |
1.3464 |
0.04758 |
153 |
109 |
35 |
9 |
640 |
I call it The Mammoth Lisa. |
1.3464 |
0.04847 |
153 |
110 |
33 |
10 |
641 |
Look, I'm the world's first artist, so I get to decide if you need tusks or not. |
1.3464 |
0.05190 |
153 |
114 |
25 |
14 |
642 |
That's a mammoth misrepresentation. |
1.3464 |
0.04847 |
153 |
110 |
33 |
10 |
643 |
To save time, I'll label it G.O.P |
1.3464 |
0.05272 |
153 |
115 |
23 |
15 |
644 |
What do you mean you don’t want this posted on your wall? |
1.3464 |
0.04180 |
153 |
103 |
47 |
3 |
645 |
Well, the wall does add an extra ten pounds. |
1.3464 |
0.05021 |
153 |
112 |
29 |
12 |
646 |
Who’s the artist here? |
1.3464 |
0.04758 |
153 |
109 |
35 |
9 |
647 |
Paint adds ten pounds. |
1.3464 |
0.04935 |
153 |
111 |
31 |
11 |
648 |
That IS how you nose looks! |
1.3464 |
0.05021 |
153 |
112 |
29 |
12 |
649 |
If you don't stop moving, it will be eons before anyone sees this. |
1.3464 |
0.04666 |
153 |
108 |
37 |
8 |
650 |
Now lower your tusks like you're angry. |
1.3464 |
0.04758 |
153 |
109 |
35 |
9 |
651 |
If I make it any shorter you'll look like a rhinoceros. |
1.3462 |
0.04783 |
156 |
112 |
34 |
10 |
652 |
No, I don't have any marshmallows. |
1.3456 |
0.05258 |
136 |
99 |
27 |
10 |
653 |
Did you move? Dammit! I told you not to move. |
1.3446 |
0.05047 |
148 |
108 |
29 |
11 |
654 |
Because your nose IS that big! |
1.3446 |
0.05226 |
148 |
110 |
25 |
13 |
655 |
Beautiful. Now, show me 'fierce'. |
1.3446 |
0.04669 |
148 |
104 |
37 |
7 |
656 |
How do you spell, "Wuz here"? |
1.3446 |
0.05047 |
148 |
108 |
29 |
11 |
657 |
Yeah, yeah, big tusks, I got it! |
1.3446 |
0.05047 |
148 |
108 |
29 |
11 |
658 |
Like you could do better . |
1.3446 |
0.05047 |
148 |
108 |
29 |
11 |
659 |
Hold still! I can’t afford to keep throwing away caves! |
1.3446 |
0.05226 |
148 |
110 |
25 |
13 |
660 |
Yes, I'm painting over it. Otherwise we'll never get our security deposit back! |
1.3446 |
0.05047 |
148 |
108 |
29 |
11 |
661 |
I just think we can't keep ignoring the elephant in the cave. |
1.3446 |
0.04862 |
148 |
106 |
33 |
9 |
662 |
Can you think of something funny to write under this? I got nothin. |
1.3446 |
0.05138 |
148 |
109 |
27 |
12 |
663 |
Try to look woolier. |
1.3446 |
0.04955 |
148 |
107 |
31 |
10 |
664 |
Want to add that you're looking for a relationship, not just a rut? |
1.3446 |
0.04862 |
148 |
106 |
33 |
9 |
665 |
I don’t care how many smoke breaks the guy in Lascaux gave you! |
1.3446 |
0.05138 |
148 |
109 |
27 |
12 |
666 |
And now we'll paint in two happy little tusks..... |
1.3446 |
0.05314 |
148 |
111 |
23 |
14 |
667 |
Break time. Can you remember your pose? |
1.3446 |
0.04862 |
148 |
106 |
33 |
9 |
668 |
Relax, these won't be around forever. |
1.3446 |
0.05138 |
148 |
109 |
27 |
12 |
669 |
Ok, but once this "elphie" is up, it's forever. |
1.3446 |
0.05226 |
148 |
110 |
25 |
13 |
670 |
Okay Ed, next outfit is the Elk and we're done for the day. |
1.3446 |
0.05484 |
148 |
113 |
19 |
16 |
671 |
"Woolly or not woolly? |
1.3446 |
0.04468 |
148 |
102 |
41 |
5 |
672 |
Why would you want to be a Pink Elephant? |
1.3446 |
0.03920 |
148 |
97 |
51 |
0 |
673 |
O.K., I'm no da Vinci. But you're no Mona Lisa either. |
1.3444 |
0.05151 |
151 |
112 |
26 |
13 |
674 |
A nip here, a tuck there. By the time I've finished that droop will be history. |
1.3444 |
0.04608 |
151 |
106 |
38 |
7 |
675 |
Don’t worry, if it turns out bad no one will ever see it. |
1.3444 |
0.04976 |
151 |
110 |
30 |
11 |
676 |
I know your trunk is bigger, don't worry, people won't take this literally. |
1.3444 |
0.04608 |
151 |
106 |
38 |
7 |
677 |
This was a lot harder before I invented taxidermy. |
1.3444 |
0.05236 |
151 |
113 |
24 |
14 |
678 |
Give it to me, Baby! That's it. A little more tusk! Oh yeah! Beautiful, Baby! |
1.3444 |
0.04887 |
151 |
109 |
32 |
10 |
679 |
No. You cannot be the one throwing the spear this time. |
1.3444 |
0.05236 |
151 |
113 |
24 |
14 |
680 |
Here I have captured the essence of that scared little mammoth whom you hide beneath that façade of enormity and might. |
1.3444 |
0.04511 |
151 |
105 |
40 |
6 |
681 |
The light in here is horrible. Can you stand a little closer to the fire? |
1.3444 |
0.04608 |
151 |
106 |
38 |
7 |
682 |
Because I don't have enough paint! |
1.3444 |
0.04976 |
151 |
110 |
30 |
11 |
683 |
I know it's not perfect, but it's not like these cave paintings are going to last. |
1.3444 |
0.04887 |
151 |
109 |
32 |
10 |
684 |
Trust me, they're gonna love this in about 40,000 years. |
1.3444 |
0.04887 |
151 |
109 |
32 |
10 |
685 |
Could you look a little less extinct? |
1.3444 |
0.04796 |
151 |
108 |
34 |
9 |
686 |
It _is_ your best side. |
1.3444 |
0.05151 |
151 |
112 |
26 |
13 |
687 |
Could you make that smile a bit more enigmatic? |
1.3444 |
0.04976 |
151 |
110 |
30 |
11 |
688 |
It only becomes valuable after your species dies. |
1.3425 |
0.04059 |
146 |
97 |
48 |
1 |
689 |
Calm down, it's just a rough draft. And it's not like anyone's ever going to see it. |
1.3425 |
0.04998 |
146 |
106 |
30 |
10 |
690 |
Life size portrait! Forget about it! |
1.3425 |
0.03941 |
146 |
96 |
50 |
0 |
691 |
You've posed nude before haven't you. |
1.3423 |
0.05019 |
149 |
109 |
29 |
11 |
692 |
Truncating is the artist's prerogative! |
1.3423 |
0.04126 |
149 |
100 |
47 |
2 |
693 |
Stop complaining, it's not like anyone will care what you really looked like a million years from now. |
1.3423 |
0.04928 |
149 |
108 |
31 |
10 |
694 |
It's called perspective. It's you from far away. |
1.3423 |
0.04740 |
149 |
106 |
35 |
8 |
695 |
Of course everyone will know it's bigger in real life. |
1.3423 |
0.04740 |
149 |
106 |
35 |
8 |
696 |
Sorry. The wall puts on 20 pounds for everybody. |
1.3423 |
0.05019 |
149 |
109 |
29 |
11 |
697 |
It not you. Charcoal add ten pounds. |
1.3423 |
0.04928 |
149 |
108 |
31 |
10 |
698 |
I promise you your mother will never see this. It's strictly for my private collection. |
1.3423 |
0.04928 |
149 |
108 |
31 |
10 |
699 |
Yes, I know what long tusks mean. |
1.3423 |
0.05108 |
149 |
110 |
27 |
12 |
700 |
Stop criticizing - perspective hasn’t been invented yet |
1.3423 |
0.04835 |
149 |
107 |
33 |
9 |
701 |
For goodness' sake, speak up the next time you need to take a break … |
1.3423 |
0.05019 |
149 |
109 |
29 |
11 |
702 |
Hardy, har har...yes, I think i’ll finish before the next ice age. |
1.3423 |
0.05196 |
149 |
111 |
25 |
13 |
703 |
I know size matters |
1.3423 |
0.05108 |
149 |
110 |
27 |
12 |
704 |
I have a lousy memory so I have to write it down. |
1.3423 |
0.04928 |
149 |
108 |
31 |
10 |
705 |
Look, I can try not to make your nose look too big, but... |
1.3423 |
0.05108 |
149 |
110 |
27 |
12 |
706 |
You're in my light. |
1.3421 |
0.04860 |
152 |
110 |
32 |
10 |
707 |
Don't worry baby, no one is going to ever see these. |
1.3407 |
0.05378 |
135 |
100 |
24 |
11 |
708 |
It's not supposed to look like you. I'm inventing Impressionism. |
1.3401 |
0.04262 |
147 |
100 |
44 |
3 |
709 |
Trust me. The no-tusk look is slimming. |
1.3401 |
0.04778 |
147 |
105 |
34 |
8 |
710 |
Just think, 10,000 years from now you'll be famous! |
1.3401 |
0.04969 |
147 |
107 |
30 |
10 |
711 |
For the last time, no, I'm not going to draw you like one of my French mammoths. |
1.3400 |
0.04900 |
150 |
109 |
31 |
10 |
712 |
Well I wish you hadn't tossed the pearl earring. It really made it pop. |
1.3380 |
0.04885 |
142 |
102 |
32 |
8 |
713 |
Here’s what you’ll look like after the nip/tusk surgery. |
1.3380 |
0.05085 |
142 |
104 |
28 |
10 |
714 |
Everything doesn’t have to be about you! |
1.3380 |
0.04568 |
142 |
99 |
38 |
5 |
715 |
First time modeling in the nude? |
1.3379 |
0.04716 |
145 |
103 |
35 |
7 |
716 |
A small nose job, a little dental work, and voilà! |
1.3379 |
0.05199 |
145 |
108 |
25 |
12 |
717 |
I know you want me to make the trunk bigger, but the ladies will find out sooner or later! |
1.3379 |
0.05012 |
145 |
106 |
29 |
10 |
718 |
Will you be needing wallet size prints? |
1.3379 |
0.04613 |
145 |
102 |
37 |
6 |
719 |
Don't worry, I'll make the people extra small. |
1.3379 |
0.04716 |
145 |
103 |
35 |
7 |
720 |
I know you're working for peanuts, but stand still! |
1.3379 |
0.05106 |
145 |
107 |
27 |
11 |
721 |
"And this is you when you were one month old". |
1.3379 |
0.05199 |
145 |
108 |
25 |
12 |
722 |
Don't look so surprised, I told you I was a minimalist painter when you hired me! |
1.3379 |
0.04915 |
145 |
105 |
31 |
9 |
723 |
This is what you get for paying me peanuts! |
1.3379 |
0.04716 |
145 |
103 |
35 |
7 |
724 |
Now, where’s that smile. |
1.3379 |
0.04716 |
145 |
103 |
35 |
7 |
725 |
So, the plan is to invent agriculture, then bronze and cities, then iron and bigger cities, then the Renaissance and the Internet. But then we get Trump and it's back to square one. |
1.3379 |
0.05290 |
145 |
109 |
23 |
13 |
726 |
You should have gone before you left home. |
1.3379 |
0.05199 |
145 |
108 |
25 |
12 |
727 |
Goose me one more time and you're fired! |
1.3379 |
0.04915 |
145 |
105 |
31 |
9 |
728 |
okay , we're finished for today , you can get dressed |
1.3379 |
0.05012 |
145 |
106 |
29 |
10 |
729 |
Let's try another one. Your eyes were closed. |
1.3379 |
0.04915 |
145 |
105 |
31 |
9 |
730 |
I'm just beginning. It'll be a mammoth undertaking! |
1.3379 |
0.05106 |
145 |
107 |
27 |
11 |
731 |
Say peanuts. |
1.3379 |
0.04817 |
145 |
104 |
33 |
8 |
732 |
No, I don’t think it makes you look fat. |
1.3379 |
0.05199 |
145 |
108 |
25 |
12 |
733 |
Now, throw back your trunk and give me sultry. |
1.3379 |
0.04613 |
145 |
102 |
37 |
6 |
734 |
Stop worrying, I'll make your tusks plenty big. |
1.3379 |
0.04817 |
145 |
104 |
33 |
8 |
735 |
This IS your best side. |
1.3379 |
0.04401 |
145 |
100 |
41 |
4 |
736 |
That's enough for today. You can go get dressed. |
1.3379 |
0.04716 |
145 |
103 |
35 |
7 |
737 |
Because you'll be extinct, that's why. |
1.3379 |
0.05199 |
145 |
108 |
25 |
12 |
738 |
If you don’t stop moving, this is going to be an epoch failure! |
1.3379 |
0.04915 |
145 |
105 |
31 |
9 |
739 |
Yes, your butt really is that big. |
1.3379 |
0.05012 |
145 |
106 |
29 |
10 |
740 |
Don't worry, no one will ever see this! |
1.3379 |
0.05106 |
145 |
107 |
27 |
11 |
741 |
Because canvas hasn't been invented yet, that's why! |
1.3379 |
0.04915 |
145 |
105 |
31 |
9 |
742 |
Yes, I'm getting your good side. |
1.3379 |
0.04061 |
145 |
97 |
47 |
1 |
743 |
Don’t you tusk tusk me. |
1.3379 |
0.04508 |
145 |
101 |
39 |
5 |
744 |
Your skin looks amazing! Who's your pachydermatologist? |
1.3357 |
0.04821 |
140 |
100 |
33 |
7 |
745 |
If you tank in the mid term elections I'm replacing you with the donkey |
1.3357 |
0.04926 |
140 |
101 |
31 |
8 |
746 |
Adding the tusks, won't make you look fat. |
1.3357 |
0.05152 |
143 |
106 |
26 |
11 |
747 |
I know, I know, charcoal adds ten pounds. |
1.3357 |
0.04085 |
143 |
96 |
46 |
1 |
748 |
Okay. I'll put the tusks on if you'll stop pooping in the cave. |
1.3357 |
0.05246 |
143 |
107 |
24 |
12 |
749 |
I prefer cave artist. |
1.3357 |
0.04649 |
143 |
101 |
36 |
6 |
750 |
Because Burnt Stick is the Pantone Color of the Year again. That’s why. |
1.3357 |
0.05431 |
143 |
109 |
20 |
14 |
751 |
But, you said make me look younger! |
1.3357 |
0.04320 |
143 |
98 |
42 |
3 |
752 |
My last cave was huge in France. |
1.3357 |
0.04856 |
143 |
103 |
32 |
8 |
753 |
Yes, the cave painting subtracts a few thousand pounds. |
1.3357 |
0.04649 |
143 |
101 |
36 |
6 |
754 |
This is definitely your best side |
1.3357 |
0.04957 |
143 |
104 |
30 |
9 |
755 |
Let me remind you, again, that you are not the only elephant in this room. |
1.3357 |
0.04754 |
143 |
102 |
34 |
7 |
756 |
No, I'm not giving you bigger tusks! |
1.3357 |
0.05055 |
143 |
105 |
28 |
10 |
757 |
Beautiful, baby...Now work with me...Show us those tusks.... |
1.3357 |
0.04856 |
143 |
103 |
32 |
8 |
758 |
Of course I will make sure your trunk and tusks are enormous. |
1.3357 |
0.04957 |
143 |
104 |
30 |
9 |
759 |
it's a mammoth task |
1.3357 |
0.05055 |
143 |
105 |
28 |
10 |
760 |
What do you mean your trunk looks small? |
1.3357 |
0.04856 |
143 |
103 |
32 |
8 |
761 |
I am NOT ignoring the elephant in the room! |
1.3357 |
0.05055 |
143 |
105 |
28 |
10 |
762 |
Now let's get one with you poked full of spears. |
1.3357 |
0.05055 |
143 |
105 |
28 |
10 |
763 |
I call it "the elephant in the room". |
1.3357 |
0.05055 |
143 |
105 |
28 |
10 |
764 |
No worries, camp fires add ten pounds. |
1.3357 |
0.04957 |
143 |
104 |
30 |
9 |
765 |
I want to make it clear. I never sleep with my models. |
1.3357 |
0.04957 |
143 |
104 |
30 |
9 |
766 |
Try to look prehistoric. |
1.3356 |
0.04982 |
146 |
107 |
29 |
10 |
767 |
Keep in mind that the cave wall adds about 200 pounds. |
1.3333 |
0.04464 |
141 |
98 |
39 |
4 |
768 |
It would be worth a lot more if you became extinct |
1.3333 |
0.05099 |
141 |
104 |
27 |
10 |
769 |
Well, it's supposed to look primitive. |
1.3333 |
0.04897 |
141 |
102 |
31 |
8 |
770 |
If I ever figure out how to get these things off the wall, I'll make a fortune. |
1.3333 |
0.04897 |
141 |
102 |
31 |
8 |
771 |
I’m completely self taught. |
1.3333 |
0.04638 |
138 |
97 |
36 |
5 |
772 |
Ok, now I need to think of a good caption. |
1.3333 |
0.04999 |
141 |
103 |
29 |
9 |
773 |
Let me finish posting and THEN I'll tag you |
1.3333 |
0.04861 |
138 |
99 |
32 |
7 |
774 |
Turn a little to the left please, I'd like to see more tusk. |
1.3333 |
0.04897 |
141 |
102 |
31 |
8 |
775 |
10,000 years from now no one will care if your trunk was tired. |
1.3333 |
0.04522 |
138 |
96 |
38 |
4 |
776 |
Some day they will stand in line to see the mystery of your smile |
1.3333 |
0.04999 |
141 |
103 |
29 |
9 |
777 |
Can't you keep it up for more than a minute. |
1.3333 |
0.04897 |
141 |
102 |
31 |
8 |
778 |
Stop worrying in a thousand years no one will remember you had hair. |
1.3333 |
0.04638 |
138 |
97 |
36 |
5 |
779 |
" You startled me. I didn't see you standing there. |
1.3333 |
0.04335 |
135 |
92 |
41 |
2 |
780 |
I know they promised you peanuts, well guess what?... they promised me a Mammoth |
1.3333 |
0.05099 |
141 |
104 |
27 |
10 |
781 |
Stop asking. I've told you that I'll remove the wrinkles and I will. |
1.3333 |
0.04685 |
141 |
100 |
35 |
6 |
782 |
I know, I am better at building a fire. |
1.3333 |
0.04968 |
138 |
100 |
30 |
8 |
783 |
Well I’m sorry. You have a big nose. I can only paint what I see. |
1.3333 |
0.05294 |
141 |
106 |
23 |
12 |
784 |
Oh relax! What will it matter 6000 years from now? |
1.3333 |
0.05198 |
141 |
105 |
25 |
11 |
785 |
Trust me, it will be worth more when you're extinct. |
1.3333 |
0.04818 |
135 |
96 |
33 |
6 |
786 |
Because I think horns send the wrong message. |
1.3333 |
0.05151 |
135 |
99 |
27 |
9 |
787 |
It's not supposed to look like you. I'm an impressionist! |
1.3333 |
0.04407 |
144 |
100 |
40 |
4 |
788 |
It's an archetype- it's not supposed to look like you. |
1.3310 |
0.04764 |
142 |
102 |
33 |
7 |
789 |
It makes you look fat! Well you are fat! |
1.3310 |
0.04868 |
142 |
103 |
31 |
8 |
790 |
Sure, I have a part-time job hunting and gathering, but my real focus is my art. |
1.3309 |
0.05043 |
139 |
102 |
28 |
9 |
791 |
And when a boy mastodon loves a girl mastodon very much... |
1.3309 |
0.05043 |
139 |
102 |
28 |
9 |
792 |
Smile, this one's for the ages. |
1.3309 |
0.05043 |
139 |
102 |
28 |
9 |
793 |
Never Forget |
1.3309 |
0.04938 |
139 |
101 |
30 |
8 |
794 |
And here’s YOU acting like a little bitch. |
1.3309 |
0.05245 |
139 |
104 |
24 |
11 |
795 |
Trust me. It's okay to pose in the nude. |
1.3309 |
0.04938 |
139 |
101 |
30 |
8 |
796 |
May I suggest avoiding Asia when migrating. |
1.3309 |
0.04831 |
139 |
100 |
32 |
7 |
797 |
Could you describe the culprit again? |
1.3309 |
0.05043 |
139 |
102 |
28 |
9 |
798 |
I call this my "pre-extinction" period |
1.3309 |
0.04496 |
139 |
97 |
38 |
4 |
799 |
Great artists are never appreciated in their time but just you wait 200,000 years. |
1.3309 |
0.04496 |
139 |
97 |
38 |
4 |
800 |
Early Mansplaining |
1.3309 |
0.05344 |
139 |
105 |
22 |
12 |
801 |
Don't worry, the wrinkles won't be noticeable. |
1.3309 |
0.05145 |
139 |
103 |
26 |
10 |
802 |
Trust me, after a few millennia everything is considered 'art'. |
1.3309 |
0.04938 |
139 |
101 |
30 |
8 |
803 |
Hold still, I don't have your memory |
1.3309 |
0.04831 |
139 |
100 |
32 |
7 |
804 |
Don't worry, the cave wall always adds ten pounds. |
1.3309 |
0.04938 |
139 |
101 |
30 |
8 |
805 |
This is your good side. |
1.3309 |
0.04938 |
139 |
101 |
30 |
8 |
806 |
I know elephants never forget, but humans do,so here it is. |
1.3309 |
0.05145 |
139 |
103 |
26 |
10 |
807 |
Did you have to move? Now the perspective is all thrown off! |
1.3309 |
0.05043 |
139 |
102 |
28 |
9 |
808 |
This IS how you look. |
1.3309 |
0.04611 |
139 |
98 |
36 |
5 |
809 |
For reasons we don't fully understand today, your image became taboo in the early 21st century. |
1.3309 |
0.04182 |
136 |
92 |
43 |
1 |
810 |
I don't know, just try to be more…natural. |
1.3309 |
0.04556 |
136 |
95 |
37 |
4 |
811 |
Why do you only remember the times I've made a mistake? |
1.3309 |
0.04902 |
136 |
98 |
31 |
7 |
812 |
What do you mean it looks nothing like you? |
1.3309 |
0.04789 |
136 |
97 |
33 |
6 |
813 |
Charcoal is a slimming color, trust me. |
1.3286 |
0.04694 |
140 |
100 |
34 |
6 |
814 |
We call ourselves "Republicans". |
1.3285 |
0.04981 |
137 |
100 |
29 |
8 |
815 |
But I AM a caveman! |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
816 |
Have you ever descended a staircase? |
1.3285 |
0.04646 |
137 |
97 |
35 |
5 |
817 |
Don't you tusk, tusk me now. |
1.3285 |
0.04646 |
137 |
97 |
35 |
5 |
818 |
I know, I know . . . it's not my fault! The cave wall adds 10 pounds! |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
819 |
What do you mean you forget what happened next? |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
820 |
I've made your nose smaller but there's not much I can do about the wrinkles. |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
821 |
What do you mean it doesn’t look like you! |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
822 |
What do you expect I'm a cave man not an artist |
1.3285 |
0.05087 |
137 |
101 |
27 |
9 |
823 |
No, you're not the elephant in the room. This is a cave. |
1.3285 |
0.04646 |
137 |
97 |
35 |
5 |
824 |
I was willing to pay more, but your union said, “peanuts.” |
1.3285 |
0.04409 |
137 |
95 |
39 |
3 |
825 |
Hold still. I’m trying to get your good side. |
1.3285 |
0.04286 |
137 |
94 |
41 |
2 |
826 |
Hurry up and finish before I go extinct. |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
827 |
Don't worry, I can Caveshop out all your wrinkles later. |
1.3285 |
0.04981 |
137 |
100 |
29 |
8 |
828 |
Is this the mammoth you saw> |
1.3285 |
0.05087 |
137 |
101 |
27 |
9 |
829 |
I think I have a pretty good likeness.....but only time will tell. |
1.3285 |
0.04646 |
137 |
97 |
35 |
5 |
830 |
Don't worry, I'll smooth out the wrinkles. |
1.3285 |
0.04872 |
137 |
99 |
31 |
7 |
831 |
Our hunters will join you for the next pose. |
1.3285 |
0.04529 |
137 |
96 |
37 |
4 |
832 |
Trust me, you don't look Rubenesque. |
1.3285 |
0.04981 |
137 |
100 |
29 |
8 |
833 |
I’m an artist. If I wanted you to have tusks I’d give you tusks. |
1.3285 |
0.04760 |
137 |
98 |
33 |
6 |
834 |
Unaware he was about to influence Renaissance art, Glorp said, "Now give me that subtle, mysterious smile of yours." |
1.3285 |
0.05192 |
137 |
102 |
25 |
10 |
835 |
I think this makes you more approachable |
1.3285 |
0.05087 |
137 |
101 |
27 |
9 |
836 |
I'm going to add a bunch of hair and make you bigger to mess with people. |
1.3285 |
0.04286 |
137 |
94 |
41 |
2 |
837 |
Don't blame me: the cave wall puts on 10 pounds. |
1.3285 |
0.05087 |
137 |
101 |
27 |
9 |
838 |
If this is accepted for the exhibition at Lascaux, I tell you, we will make history together. |
1.3284 |
0.04208 |
134 |
91 |
42 |
1 |
839 |
It’s either Late Cave or Pre-Impressionism. Your choice. |
1.3284 |
0.04711 |
134 |
95 |
34 |
5 |
840 |
There. Now tell me about you and what you are looking for in a potential mate. |
1.3284 |
0.05056 |
134 |
98 |
28 |
8 |
841 |
It's not primitive, it's Primitivism. |
1.3284 |
0.05273 |
134 |
100 |
24 |
10 |
842 |
Someday we may regret what you’ll come to symbolize. |
1.3284 |
0.05056 |
134 |
98 |
28 |
8 |
843 |
If we're going to catch this guy, I really need your help in remembering the shape of his nose. |
1.3284 |
0.04943 |
134 |
97 |
30 |
7 |
844 |
Well then you must not have a good side. |
1.3284 |
0.04943 |
134 |
97 |
30 |
7 |
845 |
Yeah, well, the rest of us will forget. |
1.3284 |
0.05056 |
134 |
98 |
28 |
8 |
846 |
Because sometimes we do forget. |
1.3284 |
0.04829 |
134 |
96 |
32 |
6 |
847 |
I’ll fill in the details later. We’ve got all the time in the world. |
1.3284 |
0.04829 |
134 |
96 |
32 |
6 |
848 |
Then everyone writes ‘like’ or ‘dont like’ right over here” |
1.3277 |
0.04936 |
119 |
84 |
31 |
4 |
849 |
Being lef-handed is not strange compared to a mastodon who starts fires |
1.3261 |
0.05360 |
138 |
105 |
21 |
12 |
850 |
How can I be expected to produce a masterpiece in such primitive conditions? |
1.3261 |
0.04950 |
138 |
101 |
29 |
8 |
851 |
OK! OK! It's erect! Are you happy now? |
1.3259 |
0.04682 |
135 |
96 |
34 |
5 |
852 |
If you don't stop moving, nobody's gonna know you even existed! |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
853 |
Yes, even a caveman can do it. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
854 |
Sure, I can lengthen the tusks but everyone knows they're implants. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
855 |
Be patient, I'm nearly done. I know it must feel like an ice age that you have been posing. |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
856 |
Don't laugh; in a million years I’ll be famous! |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
857 |
I don’t love being pigeonholed, but yes, I would classify myself as a cave artist. |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
858 |
Stop calling it fake art!! |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
859 |
More woolly...less mammoth. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
860 |
An artist is never understood in his own time. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
861 |
Work with me, baby...give me a little more trunk. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
862 |
Trust me. This will be mammoth. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
863 |
Don't move. I'm trying to create prehistory here. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
864 |
Get over it. It's called primitive art. |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
865 |
Thanks for posing for peanuts. |
1.3259 |
0.05239 |
135 |
101 |
24 |
10 |
866 |
Yes, yes... I can make the tusks longer. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
867 |
I'm really evolving. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
868 |
My aesthetic is mostly pre-historic post-modern. |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
869 |
It's not you! It's a picture of you! |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
870 |
Oh really? And exactly what kind of lighting is "figure-flattering?" |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
871 |
In a million years, they won't know the difference. |
1.3259 |
0.05133 |
135 |
100 |
26 |
9 |
872 |
Can you remember any other distinctive features? |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
873 |
Relax, I promise you I'm getting your best side. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
874 |
A little more tusk? |
1.3259 |
0.04563 |
135 |
95 |
36 |
4 |
875 |
Can you give me a little bit more of that "I'm being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger" look? |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
876 |
I promise. No one else will ever see this. |
1.3259 |
0.05547 |
135 |
104 |
18 |
13 |
877 |
Don’t worry about it. If Lescaux taught us anything, it’s that the cave wall adds twenty pounds. |
1.3259 |
0.04799 |
135 |
97 |
32 |
6 |
878 |
Sorry, the wall adds five pounds. |
1.3259 |
0.04682 |
135 |
96 |
34 |
5 |
879 |
Look alive. |
1.3259 |
0.05239 |
135 |
101 |
24 |
10 |
880 |
No, I won't make them look bigger. |
1.3259 |
0.05024 |
135 |
99 |
28 |
8 |
881 |
Sorry -- the wall adds ten pounds. |
1.3259 |
0.04314 |
135 |
93 |
40 |
2 |
882 |
Try to remember. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
883 |
After the rhinoplasty, this is what you'll look like. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
884 |
Years from now they'll wonder about the elephant in the room. |
1.3259 |
0.05239 |
135 |
101 |
24 |
10 |
885 |
I can't do anything about it; if I make your hips smaller, your nose will look bigger. |
1.3259 |
0.04913 |
135 |
98 |
30 |
7 |
886 |
I'll try shopping this one out to a political party. |
1.3259 |
0.04682 |
135 |
96 |
34 |
5 |
887 |
It's for a National Geographic pictograph essay on life in the Stone Age. |
1.3258 |
0.04749 |
132 |
94 |
33 |
5 |
888 |
Alright, fine. How much woolier do you want? |
1.3258 |
0.04625 |
132 |
93 |
35 |
4 |
889 |
If I can hold my arm up, you can certainly hold your trunk up a while longer. |
1.3258 |
0.05101 |
132 |
97 |
27 |
8 |
890 |
Please be patient, I usually draw bison. |
1.3258 |
0.04749 |
132 |
94 |
33 |
5 |
891 |
I can't help it, your butt really is that big. |
1.3258 |
0.04625 |
132 |
93 |
35 |
4 |
892 |
All my models pose nude. |
1.3258 |
0.04986 |
132 |
96 |
29 |
7 |
893 |
Be patient! I'm trying to capture your enigmatic smile. |
1.3233 |
0.04471 |
133 |
93 |
37 |
3 |
894 |
Well, if you must know, I’m developing a cartoon about a modern stone-age family... |
1.3233 |
0.04955 |
133 |
97 |
29 |
7 |
895 |
I know a tiny mammoth is a oxymoron! |
1.3233 |
0.05179 |
133 |
99 |
25 |
9 |
896 |
Yes, I know it's not life-size, but they'll get the idea. |
1.3231 |
0.04531 |
130 |
91 |
36 |
3 |
897 |
Can we have just the hint of a smile, please? |
1.3231 |
0.04117 |
130 |
88 |
42 |
0 |
898 |
Shut up! I'm a minimalist. |
1.3231 |
0.05262 |
130 |
97 |
24 |
9 |
899 |
Don’t glare at me! It’s the nose Mother Nature gave you! |
1.3228 |
0.04165 |
127 |
86 |
41 |
0 |
900 |
By the time you finish, I may be extinct. |
1.3209 |
0.05254 |
134 |
101 |
23 |
10 |
901 |
No, I'm not making it look bigger than it is. |
1.3209 |
0.05146 |
134 |
100 |
25 |
9 |
902 |
If I’d wanted action, I’d have asked the horse. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
903 |
Tusks down and head to the left |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
904 |
And how do you know what you look like anyway? |
1.3206 |
0.04879 |
131 |
95 |
30 |
6 |
905 |
The retouch option includes wrinkle elimination and tusk whitening. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
906 |
Lick your lips. Toss your trunk. Gimme more sexy. |
1.3206 |
0.04757 |
131 |
94 |
32 |
5 |
907 |
It’s a cave drawing, not a Picasso. |
1.3206 |
0.05447 |
131 |
100 |
20 |
11 |
908 |
You do know I kill you in this story. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
909 |
It's supposed to increase the property value. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
910 |
You're a great model, considering your working for peanuts. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
911 |
Relax, I paint all my subjects in the nude. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
912 |
If you don’t hold still I will paint the bison instead and make them famous. |
1.3206 |
0.04757 |
131 |
94 |
32 |
5 |
913 |
It's a logo for a political party. I'm trying to finish it before they go extinct. |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
914 |
It's a bit primitive. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
915 |
I said smile. |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
916 |
Look, I need to get this right before we drive you to extinction. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
917 |
Congratulations! The ultrasound just came in and it's a girl! |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
918 |
Cave art adds ten pounds. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
919 |
No, I don't think it makes you look 'prehistoric'! |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
920 |
Now, this is how you look from far away. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
921 |
You just don't appreciate modern art. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
922 |
Art critics are such Neanderthals. |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
923 |
You’ll thank me for this after you’re extinct. |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
924 |
The wife didn't want to pose nude. It's her loss. |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
925 |
What do you mean, it doesn’t look a thing like you?? |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
926 |
I'm sorry but this is your good side. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
927 |
No. I don't want to pull your trunk. |
1.3206 |
0.05227 |
131 |
98 |
24 |
9 |
928 |
Who went extinct and made you the expert? |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
929 |
Oh be quiet. Of course I know the difference between a mammoth and a mastodon. |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
930 |
It's going to be mammoth! |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
931 |
I'm doing the best I can with the limited tools that have so far been invented. And when did you become an art critic? |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
932 |
You will look better with your tusks lower and I'm going to add a more woolly look. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
933 |
Wow! You look bigger in person. |
1.3206 |
0.04998 |
131 |
96 |
28 |
7 |
934 |
No, this light doesn't make your nose look big |
1.3206 |
0.04879 |
131 |
95 |
30 |
6 |
935 |
Thanks, Donna. We're done. Okay, hunters, I'm ready for you to pose now. |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
936 |
Stand still, I’m losing the light! |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
937 |
Ok, so I'm no good at tusks. |
1.3206 |
0.05114 |
131 |
97 |
26 |
8 |
938 |
Now it feels like a real man cave. |
1.3206 |
0.04879 |
131 |
95 |
30 |
6 |
939 |
I said I could draw a mastadon not a masterpiece! |
1.3206 |
0.04632 |
131 |
93 |
34 |
4 |
940 |
I don't do realism. |
1.3203 |
0.04564 |
128 |
90 |
35 |
3 |
941 |
Patience please. This is, after all, a mammoth undertaking. |
1.3203 |
0.04952 |
128 |
93 |
29 |
6 |
942 |
Stand still, so I can draw where the spear will pierce you. |
1.3200 |
0.05029 |
125 |
91 |
28 |
6 |
943 |
Say “wooly” and tilt your tusks a bit left. |
1.3182 |
0.04966 |
132 |
97 |
28 |
7 |
944 |
I think they'll call this my paleo-photorealism period. |
1.3182 |
0.04603 |
132 |
94 |
34 |
4 |
945 |
I told you the wall adds 10 pounds |
1.3182 |
0.04848 |
132 |
96 |
30 |
6 |
946 |
The ladies on Cave Tinder like a perky trunk. |
1.3178 |
0.05390 |
129 |
98 |
21 |
10 |
947 |
Until they invent mirrors this will have to do. |
1.3178 |
0.04795 |
129 |
93 |
31 |
5 |
948 |
What do you mean 'my style is too primitive'? |
1.3178 |
0.05390 |
129 |
98 |
21 |
10 |
949 |
Yeah, yeah, big tusks. |
1.3178 |
0.05390 |
129 |
98 |
21 |
10 |
950 |
I don’t have a mistress to paint, that’s why. |
1.3178 |
0.04667 |
129 |
92 |
33 |
4 |
951 |
10,000 years from now do you really think anyone will be able to tell the difference between a Mammoth and a Mastodon? |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
952 |
I think this will be one for the ages. |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
953 |
Your butt IS fat! |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
954 |
I know I know your trunk is bigger than that. |
1.3178 |
0.04536 |
129 |
91 |
35 |
3 |
955 |
Okay, before I add me spearing you, try to look a lot fiercer. |
1.3178 |
0.05501 |
129 |
99 |
19 |
11 |
956 |
What do you mean I have to put things in perspective? It's not invented yet! |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
957 |
This, not me, is your ideal mate. Got it? |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
958 |
You're a natural. Most of my subjects won't even think of posing nude. |
1.3178 |
0.05276 |
129 |
97 |
23 |
9 |
959 |
Oh yeah? Well, 35,000 years from now you'll be dead and I'll be the toast of the town. |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
960 |
I’m calling it “there’s an elephant in the room” |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
961 |
Can you arch your trunk a little so it's like you're smiling but also you're not smiling? |
1.3178 |
0.04920 |
129 |
94 |
29 |
6 |
962 |
I’m beginning to think that choosing you as my muse was a mammoth mistake |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
963 |
Just hold still, in 10,000 years somebody will think this is important. |
1.3178 |
0.04920 |
129 |
94 |
29 |
6 |
964 |
Did it ever occur to you that maybe I make you look fat because you ARE fat? |
1.3178 |
0.04795 |
129 |
93 |
31 |
5 |
965 |
How would you know, have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror? |
1.3178 |
0.04920 |
129 |
94 |
29 |
6 |
966 |
And now for a pair of happy little tusks. |
1.3178 |
0.05501 |
129 |
99 |
19 |
11 |
967 |
Stop moving. Pretend you are frozen in time. |
1.3178 |
0.04667 |
129 |
92 |
33 |
4 |
968 |
Okay, okay! I won't put the spears in the drawing until after you leave! |
1.3178 |
0.05390 |
129 |
98 |
21 |
10 |
969 |
Hold still or I won’t be able to finish before the Homo sapiens arrive. |
1.3178 |
0.04667 |
129 |
92 |
33 |
4 |
970 |
Hold that pose. One day this picture is gonna make both of us famous! |
1.3178 |
0.04795 |
129 |
93 |
31 |
5 |
971 |
I've told you a hundred times to keep still - why can't you remember? |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
972 |
Hurry up with those spears, I'm almost finished making the menu. |
1.3178 |
0.05160 |
129 |
96 |
25 |
8 |
973 |
It's Maslov's higherarchy of needs: first food, then fire, then self-reflection. |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
974 |
I know, congratulations, they're HUGE. But I'm still doing it my way. |
1.3178 |
0.05042 |
129 |
95 |
27 |
7 |
975 |
Trust me, cave-ies are all the rage right now. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
976 |
I know it's small. It's a representation. It will evoke an emotion in the viewer. It's art, for crying out loud. |
1.3175 |
0.04867 |
126 |
91 |
30 |
5 |
977 |
Yeah, well, you'll look a lot worse when they dig you up 40,000 years from now. |
1.3175 |
0.05363 |
126 |
95 |
22 |
9 |
978 |
Your free offer includes only a wall-sized picture. |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
979 |
Yes, you will be extinct but try to smile |
1.3175 |
0.04995 |
126 |
92 |
28 |
6 |
980 |
Smile...someday your image will be the symbol of an extinct political party |
1.3175 |
0.05480 |
126 |
96 |
20 |
10 |
981 |
I don't know what you mean your "good side." I can only paint one side. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
982 |
Is this the man you saw? |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
983 |
When I invent perspective, people will see how big you were. |
1.3175 |
0.04163 |
126 |
86 |
40 |
0 |
984 |
I've told you a hundred times, I don't care if my painting doesn't capture the real you. It's not as if anyone else is ever going to see it. |
1.3175 |
0.04995 |
126 |
92 |
28 |
6 |
985 |
A smile will not make you go extinct. |
1.3175 |
0.04867 |
126 |
91 |
30 |
5 |
986 |
Let me Cave-Mansplain something to you real quick. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
987 |
This shall be my cromag-num opus. |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
988 |
And that's how you become irrelephant |
1.3175 |
0.05363 |
126 |
95 |
22 |
9 |
989 |
Pretend to run. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
990 |
How about more pensive? Consider your own extinction. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
991 |
I'm evolving. |
1.3175 |
0.04995 |
126 |
92 |
28 |
6 |
992 |
I can't pay you for posing, but years from now you'll be famous. |
1.3175 |
0.04867 |
126 |
91 |
30 |
5 |
993 |
But you must realize that the cave wall adds tens pounds. |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
994 |
This will make you immortal, and the subject of hundreds of doctoral dissertations. |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
995 |
Size doesn’t matter |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
996 |
But drawing you to scale would be a mammoth undertaking. |
1.3175 |
0.05121 |
126 |
93 |
26 |
7 |
997 |
Why's everything gotta be political with you? |
1.3175 |
0.04163 |
126 |
86 |
40 |
0 |
998 |
No, of course not. The cave adds 10 pounds. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
999 |
Trust me. You’re gonna be mammoth. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
1000 |
Maybe you have a good memory, but I need to write it down! |
1.3175 |
0.05363 |
126 |
95 |
22 |
9 |
1001 |
Its time someone acknowledged the elephant in the room |
1.3175 |
0.05480 |
126 |
96 |
20 |
10 |
1002 |
Get happy. All my models work for peanuts. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
1003 |
It's oil based and should last about 5 million years. |
1.3175 |
0.05243 |
126 |
94 |
24 |
8 |
1004 |
The perp's tusks--were they about this long? |
1.3171 |
0.04804 |
123 |
88 |
31 |
4 |
1005 |
Just in case you go extinct |
1.3171 |
0.04804 |
123 |
88 |
31 |
4 |
1006 |
What do you mean I’m making you look fat?! |
1.3150 |
0.04962 |
127 |
93 |
28 |
6 |
1007 |
I am going to call it the elephant in the room. |
1.3150 |
0.05208 |
127 |
95 |
24 |
8 |
1008 |
Say peanuts. |
1.3150 |
0.04962 |
127 |
93 |
28 |
6 |
1009 |
This is a mammoth undertaking. |
1.3145 |
0.05293 |
124 |
93 |
23 |
8 |
1010 |
Okay, I'M finished now. You can get dressed |
1.3145 |
0.04908 |
124 |
90 |
29 |
5 |
1011 |
Trust me -- this IS your good side. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1012 |
First man to notice the elephant in the room. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1013 |
How many times do I have to tell you?!? Hold still and stop worrying about it - those rumours about the ice melting are a complete hoax. |
1.3145 |
0.04908 |
124 |
90 |
29 |
5 |
1014 |
In the future, this will be considered a mammoth achievement. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1015 |
Now will you stop bothering me for a baby picture? |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1016 |
I don't like it either, but 10,000 years from now they'll be lining out the door to see it. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1017 |
Using burnt sticks and working with this miserable lighting, of course it's a bit primitive ! |
1.3145 |
0.04908 |
124 |
90 |
29 |
5 |
1018 |
Yes, I know it's called rhinoplasty, but, trust me, you're a perfect candidate. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1019 |
'lookin' good...now let's see those ivories.' |
1.3145 |
0.04633 |
124 |
88 |
33 |
3 |
1020 |
We can CavePaintshop out the wrinkles later. |
1.3145 |
0.04633 |
124 |
88 |
33 |
3 |
1021 |
Relax, I know you're not that fat ... perspective hasn't been invented yet. |
1.3145 |
0.05416 |
124 |
94 |
21 |
9 |
1022 |
Trunk UP! How can you keep forgetting? |
1.3145 |
0.04908 |
124 |
90 |
29 |
5 |
1023 |
I’m sorry, you only have to hold this position a little longer. My buddies just are not going to believe me unless I post a picture of you on my wall. |
1.3145 |
0.05039 |
124 |
91 |
27 |
6 |
1024 |
You You’ll get your peanuts when I’ve finished. |
1.3145 |
0.05168 |
124 |
92 |
25 |
7 |
1025 |
Ok, let's take a break. But, remember that pose. |
1.3145 |
0.04908 |
124 |
90 |
29 |
5 |
1026 |
I'm going to call it " Make the Stone Age Great Again". |
1.3145 |
0.05039 |
124 |
91 |
27 |
6 |
1027 |
This drawing of you inspire an entire political movement! |
1.3145 |
0.05416 |
124 |
94 |
21 |
9 |
1028 |
Just wait until mirrors are invented. Then you'll see that, yes, your ears really are that big. |
1.3140 |
0.05120 |
121 |
89 |
26 |
6 |
1029 |
Okay, okay, I'll add your great tusks and and your big hairy shoulders but I get to be the Great Hunter with Spear. |
1.3140 |
0.04844 |
121 |
87 |
30 |
4 |
1030 |
Can't you hold it till I'm finished? |
1.3140 |
0.05382 |
121 |
91 |
22 |
8 |
1031 |
And did he have any facial hair? Tattoos? |
1.3125 |
0.05518 |
128 |
99 |
18 |
11 |
1032 |
Gimme a break...do I tell you how to stampede? |
1.3120 |
0.04875 |
125 |
91 |
29 |
5 |
1033 |
More tusk. It needs more tusk. |
1.3120 |
0.05613 |
125 |
97 |
17 |
11 |
1034 |
I mean, sure, it’s no Lascaux... but we all have to start somewhere, right? |
1.3120 |
0.05378 |
125 |
95 |
21 |
9 |
1035 |
Let's talk about the elephant in the room. |
1.3120 |
0.05378 |
125 |
95 |
21 |
9 |
1036 |
Good. Now a little ambiguous smile. |
1.3120 |
0.05133 |
125 |
93 |
25 |
7 |
1037 |
I hate to break it to you, Doug, but there's no angle that would make you look "svelte" - as if that's even a healthy body image for someone with your bone structure. |
1.3115 |
0.05712 |
122 |
95 |
16 |
11 |
1038 |
I know, I am not Leonardo, but you are not Mona Lisa either. |
1.3115 |
0.05085 |
122 |
90 |
26 |
6 |
1039 |
I'm sorry, but the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1040 |
If you move one more time, I'll switch to abstract. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1041 |
Trust me, nobody will care about those tusks. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1042 |
Yeah, well you're no mastodon |
1.3115 |
0.05470 |
122 |
93 |
20 |
9 |
1043 |
No, I won't paint your tusks larger. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1044 |
Believe me, it's your good side. |
1.3115 |
0.05085 |
122 |
90 |
26 |
6 |
1045 |
Yes, it is cast in stone. |
1.3115 |
0.05344 |
122 |
92 |
22 |
8 |
1046 |
Yeah, well, Mr. Art Critic, maybe you should evolve some fingers and see if you can do better. |
1.3115 |
0.04950 |
122 |
89 |
28 |
5 |
1047 |
Never discuss the elephant in the room, but my therapist say drawing OK. |
1.3115 |
0.04811 |
122 |
88 |
30 |
4 |
1048 |
This is how you will look after we monetize those tusks. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1049 |
The original elephant in the room! |
1.3115 |
0.04950 |
122 |
89 |
28 |
5 |
1050 |
Of course I won't show anyone else. The pictures are only for me. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1051 |
I told you no more paintings or else we're gonna lose our security deposit. |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1052 |
It’s cave art ,not a portrait! |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1053 |
What do you mean the trunk is too small? |
1.3115 |
0.04811 |
122 |
88 |
30 |
4 |
1054 |
...and what was your husband wearing when you last saw him. |
1.3115 |
0.05470 |
122 |
93 |
20 |
9 |
1055 |
Just because you are a Republican doesn't mean you can't give me a little smile. |
1.3115 |
0.05344 |
122 |
92 |
22 |
8 |
1056 |
'Thanks for agreeing to the naked thing." |
1.3115 |
0.05470 |
122 |
93 |
20 |
9 |
1057 |
Everybody is a critic! |
1.3115 |
0.05216 |
122 |
91 |
24 |
7 |
1058 |
You can unfreeze now. |
1.3115 |
0.04668 |
122 |
87 |
32 |
3 |
1059 |
My trunk just looks small now because it’s cold out. |
1.3109 |
0.05303 |
119 |
89 |
23 |
7 |
1060 |
I hope you understand that modern art shies away from literal representation. |
1.3109 |
0.04425 |
119 |
83 |
35 |
1 |
1061 |
I progressed to minimalism, as I strongly feel it is the most relevant visual language for our day and age |
1.3101 |
0.05019 |
129 |
96 |
26 |
7 |
1062 |
I call this the "The Elephant in the Cave." |
1.3101 |
0.04088 |
129 |
89 |
40 |
0 |
1063 |
Hold still, this will be worth millions when you’re extinct. |
1.3089 |
0.05431 |
123 |
94 |
20 |
9 |
1064 |
"The last time I posted on my wall, i got seventy-five ughs". |
1.3089 |
0.05180 |
123 |
92 |
24 |
7 |
1065 |
And after you do that, in about 18 months to two years, a little baby mammoth is born... |
1.3089 |
0.05307 |
123 |
93 |
22 |
8 |
1066 |
Hey Babar, what’s the glyph for “remember”? |
1.3089 |
0.05431 |
123 |
94 |
20 |
9 |
1067 |
Oh, I didn't see you there... |
1.3089 |
0.05307 |
123 |
93 |
22 |
8 |
1068 |
See, you're not the the elephant in the room anymore; He is Ok? |
1.3089 |
0.05049 |
123 |
91 |
26 |
6 |
1069 |
I’m not making you look fat. You’re a mammoth. |
1.3083 |
0.05893 |
120 |
95 |
13 |
12 |
1070 |
Stay still! I am trying to record history! |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1071 |
Don't worry, I'll airbrush out the wrinkles. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1072 |
Yes, it's a nude and no, I don't think your mother will "die of embarrassment". |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1073 |
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1074 |
Give me coy. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1075 |
Don't worry, I can airbrush the wrinkles out. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1076 |
If you don't like it, just say so. Quit ignoring the you in the room. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1077 |
Your motivation? Try Survival of the fittest. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1078 |
Try to look less frigid. |
1.3083 |
0.04704 |
120 |
86 |
31 |
3 |
1079 |
Give me a break, I just invented fire. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1080 |
This will be worth a lot more when you're extinct. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1081 |
I'm not making you look fat. You ARE fat. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1082 |
It's nude for beauty, not objectification. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1083 |
See, you look fine without them. The ivory trade will be good for both of us... |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1084 |
Wait, before you trample me, let me post this to my wall. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1085 |
Seriously, you're even afraid of a drawing of a mouse? |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1086 |
This is a mammoth task. |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1087 |
Yeah? Well, you're no Mona Lisa. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1088 |
By the time you're done drawing, I'll be extinct! |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1089 |
Sure I hunted you, but can't you separate art from artist? |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1090 |
At the moment, this is our only suspect. |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1091 |
I suppose you think you could do better. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1092 |
I know this is difficult but did you happen to see the color of his eyes? |
1.3083 |
0.05893 |
120 |
95 |
13 |
12 |
1093 |
I own the original and full copyrights on any prints or reproductions. Did you even read the model release before you signed it? |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1094 |
Yes, I'm sure you will soon be history. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1095 |
if you don't hold still you'll look like a bison |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1096 |
Its called scale. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1097 |
Thanks for answering the ad. I knew models are willing to work for peanuts. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1098 |
I'm experimenting with a more Mesolithic style |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1099 |
Just you wait - a true artist is never appreciated in his time. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1100 |
It going to be a cookbook. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1101 |
Quit that right now - the cleaning service doesn't come for another week! |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1102 |
What do you mean that's not your best side? |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1103 |
Don’t worry. I’ll give you the biggest tusks. |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1104 |
I told you, size does not matter! |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1105 |
Trust me Linda, this is your good side. |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1106 |
Stop it with the trunk when I'm not looking! |
1.3083 |
0.04704 |
120 |
86 |
31 |
3 |
1107 |
Sorry, the cave wall ads 10 pounds |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1108 |
You'll be famous. Whose going to remember me? |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1109 |
I know this is awkward. I don't usually do nudes. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1110 |
Don't worry. Cave walls always make you look 10% fatter. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1111 |
Now, how about a little, enigmatic smile. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1112 |
How long has your wife been missing? |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1113 |
Make up your mind already. You going to swipe left or right? |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1114 |
Now make up your mind. Trunk up or trunk down? Tusks or no tusk? Wooly or not wooly? |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1115 |
Global Warming is just an hoax! This painting on ice will last forever.. |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1116 |
Life sized? No, if you'll remember, what I said was life LIKE! |
1.3083 |
0.04552 |
120 |
85 |
33 |
2 |
1117 |
Don't worry we will find him - I'm posting his picture on my wall. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1118 |
When we started you were just a Mastodon. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1119 |
And this is how you will look after the tusk removal surgery..... |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1120 |
Hold still. I'm entering this for a GOP logo design competition! |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1121 |
OK. Fine. I’ll make the tusks bigger and the butt smaller. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1122 |
Can't you stand still ? |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1123 |
Ok, I'm ready for the hunters with the spears. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1124 |
Enough with the enigmatic smile. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1125 |
I am sorry, but yes, I am not exaggerating; your nose really is that big. |
1.3083 |
0.04992 |
120 |
88 |
27 |
5 |
1126 |
This could take forever. Think I'll just find some mastodon-pattern wallpaper. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1127 |
Hold still, this is for pre-history. |
1.3083 |
0.04850 |
120 |
87 |
29 |
4 |
1128 |
To make the drawing larger would be a mammoth waste of time. |
1.3083 |
0.05525 |
120 |
92 |
19 |
9 |
1129 |
I need to start over. You blinked. |
1.3083 |
0.05650 |
120 |
93 |
17 |
10 |
1130 |
Oh stop it. I'm not making you look fat. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1131 |
I’ll Protoshop out the wrinkles later. |
1.3083 |
0.05265 |
120 |
90 |
23 |
7 |
1132 |
I want to remember you after you're gone. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1133 |
Yes, the firelight is on your good side. |
1.3083 |
0.05131 |
120 |
89 |
25 |
6 |
1134 |
Yes it's nude, but it's tasteful. |
1.3083 |
0.05397 |
120 |
91 |
21 |
8 |
1135 |
If you're looking for tusk exaggeration or ash brushing, you're in the wrong cave. |
1.3077 |
0.05073 |
117 |
86 |
26 |
5 |
1136 |
OK I'm done - you can get dressed. |
1.3065 |
0.05144 |
124 |
93 |
24 |
7 |
1137 |
Relax, the wall adds ten pounds. |
1.3058 |
0.05095 |
121 |
90 |
25 |
6 |
1138 |
Hold it...hold it...good. Now show me 'stampede chic.' |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1139 |
Really? Well, I remember it differently... |
1.3058 |
0.04522 |
121 |
86 |
33 |
2 |
1140 |
My god, the late afternoon sun softly highlights your ineffable confidence and unrivaled ability to lean into a pose. |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1141 |
Making you look mammoth? Seriously? |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1142 |
Stop laughing - one day "Caveman" cartoon contests will be all the rage. |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1143 |
Excuse me, but rendering you full size is too mammoth a tusk....er task. |
1.3058 |
0.04958 |
121 |
89 |
27 |
5 |
1144 |
Just think, after this you won’t be working for peanuts anymore.... |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1145 |
One day, we'll be discovered. |
1.3058 |
0.05095 |
121 |
90 |
25 |
6 |
1146 |
Ceci n'est pas une pipe. |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1147 |
Never mind the mouse, stand still! |
1.3058 |
0.05485 |
121 |
93 |
19 |
9 |
1148 |
Well, it wouldn't look 'stylized' if you'd just hold still! |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1149 |
If you want a life-mate from your profile could you at least try to smile? |
1.3058 |
0.04522 |
121 |
86 |
33 |
2 |
1150 |
Ok, for this next scene, pretend I hunted you for dinner. |
1.3058 |
0.05095 |
121 |
90 |
25 |
6 |
1151 |
Please stand still, we both don't have much time! |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1152 |
Well, I suppose I should address the elephant in the room. |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1153 |
Yes!, yes!, give me that sexy look again. |
1.3058 |
0.04817 |
121 |
88 |
29 |
4 |
1154 |
Close your left eye and tell me what you see. |
1.3058 |
0.05095 |
121 |
90 |
25 |
6 |
1155 |
Yes. I did shorten the tusks a little, but I think it gives you a more youthful appearance. |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1156 |
Well good for you, me I gotta write it down. |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1157 |
What do you mean you look like Babar? |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1158 |
Maybe it doesn't look like much now, but give it 35,000 years |
1.3058 |
0.05485 |
121 |
93 |
19 |
9 |
1159 |
You are big! It's the picture that got small. |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1160 |
That's it baby. Keep that look. You look amazing in this light. |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1161 |
You may go extinct, but through my art you'll live forever. |
1.3058 |
0.04522 |
121 |
86 |
33 |
2 |
1162 |
Quit blinking! |
1.3058 |
0.05228 |
121 |
91 |
23 |
7 |
1163 |
Look, when you took the gig you knew it was for a nude study. |
1.3058 |
0.05358 |
121 |
92 |
21 |
8 |
1164 |
C'mon. Three syllables. |
1.3058 |
0.05095 |
121 |
90 |
25 |
6 |
1165 |
Don't forget the tusks.. they're my best feature! |
1.3051 |
0.05036 |
118 |
87 |
26 |
5 |
1166 |
Any particular reason why you want me to omit your to-die-for tusks? |
1.3051 |
0.05178 |
118 |
88 |
24 |
6 |
1167 |
Yes, I know. Another prehistoric cartoon in The New Yorker. But it pays the rent on the cave. |
1.3051 |
0.05316 |
118 |
89 |
22 |
7 |
1168 |
Okay, I'm finished, but don't go anywhere. I'm throwin' a big barbecue later tonight, and I can't do that without you, either. |
1.3051 |
0.05316 |
118 |
89 |
22 |
7 |
1169 |
Draw me like one of your french elephants. |
1.3051 |
0.04257 |
118 |
82 |
36 |
0 |
1170 |
I just hope someone draws my picture before I go extinct. |
1.3051 |
0.05451 |
118 |
90 |
20 |
8 |
1171 |
It’s a primitive sketch. |
1.3051 |
0.05316 |
118 |
89 |
22 |
7 |
1172 |
This would go a lot faster if you'd just smile. |
1.3051 |
0.05178 |
118 |
88 |
24 |
6 |
1173 |
Wait till you see what I do with the tusks--you're going to love it! |
1.3051 |
0.05036 |
118 |
87 |
26 |
5 |
1174 |
Trust me, in 20,000 years you'll be famous. |
1.3051 |
0.05316 |
118 |
89 |
22 |
7 |
1175 |
I'm going to call it my pleistocene period. |
1.3051 |
0.05036 |
118 |
87 |
26 |
5 |
1176 |
Smile. Don't think of Trump. |
1.3051 |
0.05582 |
118 |
91 |
18 |
9 |
1177 |
Then what? |
1.3051 |
0.05178 |
118 |
88 |
24 |
6 |
1178 |
Don't be so hard on yourself-- you seem very evolved to me. |
1.3051 |
0.05178 |
118 |
88 |
24 |
6 |
1179 |
For the last time, this picture does not make you look fat! |
1.3051 |
0.05316 |
118 |
89 |
22 |
7 |
1180 |
Laugh now, someday this place will be Soho. |
1.3051 |
0.05451 |
118 |
90 |
20 |
8 |
1181 |
It may not seem like it now, but we're making history here. |
1.3051 |
0.04584 |
118 |
84 |
32 |
2 |
1182 |
Just a few more minutes - extinction can wait. |
1.3051 |
0.04584 |
118 |
84 |
32 |
2 |
1183 |
In the twenty-first century A.D., a people called Americans will hope the party you represent will become extinct. |
1.3051 |
0.05710 |
118 |
92 |
16 |
10 |
1184 |
I didn't say it was a mammoth painting. I said it was a painting of a mammoth. |
1.3051 |
0.05178 |
118 |
88 |
24 |
6 |
1185 |
No, that's not her. The cow that stole my fig tree had beady little eyes and a real attitude in her walk. |
1.3033 |
0.05320 |
122 |
93 |
21 |
8 |
1186 |
It is primitive art after all. |
1.3033 |
0.05059 |
122 |
91 |
25 |
6 |
1187 |
If you'd BROUGHT your plastic circus ball, I would have DRAWN your plastic circus ball! |
1.3025 |
0.04707 |
119 |
86 |
30 |
3 |
1188 |
Stand still or I'll never get this done before the Ice Age. |
1.3025 |
0.05277 |
119 |
90 |
22 |
7 |
1189 |
You can get dressed now. |
1.3025 |
0.04856 |
119 |
87 |
28 |
4 |
1190 |
Yes, even a cave man can do this. |
1.3025 |
0.05277 |
119 |
90 |
22 |
7 |
1191 |
And it doesn’t smell like you either! |
1.3025 |
0.05141 |
119 |
89 |
24 |
6 |
1192 |
Show me some anger... Like you were about to be hunted to extinction. |
1.3025 |
0.05141 |
119 |
89 |
24 |
6 |
1193 |
I understand its not accurate Henry but between the two of us I'm the only one with opposable thumbs. |
1.3025 |
0.05141 |
119 |
89 |
24 |
6 |
1194 |
Ask the antelope. Ask the sabertooth. The charcoal always adds ten pounds. |
1.3025 |
0.04553 |
119 |
85 |
32 |
2 |
1195 |
Give me 'SAVAGE'! |
1.3025 |
0.05000 |
119 |
88 |
26 |
5 |
1196 |
I'm gonna add a bowler hat, just for kicks. |
1.3017 |
0.05368 |
116 |
88 |
21 |
7 |
1197 |
Relax. I can photoshop it. |
1.3017 |
0.05506 |
116 |
89 |
19 |
8 |
1198 |
This is going to be a classic. |
1.3017 |
0.05226 |
116 |
87 |
23 |
6 |
1199 |
Trust me, you'll be famous some day. |
1.3017 |
0.05081 |
116 |
86 |
25 |
5 |
1200 |
Now give me a pout. |
1.3017 |
0.05081 |
116 |
86 |
25 |
5 |
1201 |
I'd rather look more like a Democrat. |
1.3017 |
0.05368 |
116 |
88 |
21 |
7 |
1202 |
Now give me that enigmatic smile. |
1.3017 |
0.05226 |
116 |
87 |
23 |
6 |
1203 |
Try to look slightly amused. |
1.3017 |
0.05226 |
116 |
87 |
23 |
6 |
1204 |
Is this what the suspect looked like? |
1.3017 |
0.04931 |
116 |
85 |
27 |
4 |
1205 |
I'm calling it "artistic license". |
1.3017 |
0.05368 |
116 |
88 |
21 |
7 |
1206 |
For the thousandth time, stop posing and just try to look natural! |
1.3017 |
0.05226 |
116 |
87 |
23 |
6 |
1207 |
It’s nobody you know. |
1.3017 |
0.04777 |
116 |
84 |
29 |
3 |
1208 |
Until I started to draw you, I never noticed the color of your eyes before! |
1.3017 |
0.05081 |
116 |
86 |
25 |
5 |
1209 |
No the wall doesn’t add 10 pounds! |
1.3017 |
0.04931 |
116 |
85 |
27 |
4 |
1210 |
Can't you see I'm trying to capture your playful side?! |
1.3017 |
0.04931 |
116 |
85 |
27 |
4 |
1211 |
Anyway, they told me my technique was barbaric, so I dropped out of art school and pursued my own interpretation of post-Neanderthal realism |
1.3017 |
0.04617 |
116 |
83 |
31 |
2 |
1212 |
They say "the cave wall adds ten pounds." |
1.3017 |
0.05368 |
116 |
88 |
21 |
7 |
1213 |
Jerry, this IS your good side. |
1.3017 |
0.05640 |
116 |
90 |
17 |
9 |
1214 |
I'm not so good at tusks. |
1.3017 |
0.05081 |
116 |
86 |
25 |
5 |
1215 |
This is for posterity, just in case you go extinct. |
1.3017 |
0.04931 |
116 |
85 |
27 |
4 |
1216 |
Don't worry, it's not permanent or anything. |
1.3017 |
0.05081 |
116 |
86 |
25 |
5 |
1217 |
Yes, this is what you look like and no, it is not to scale. |
1.3017 |
0.05226 |
116 |
87 |
23 |
6 |
1218 |
It just looks that way, the cave wall adds ten pounds. |
1.3009 |
0.05010 |
113 |
83 |
26 |
4 |
1219 |
Draw me like one of your French caves. |
1.3009 |
0.05166 |
113 |
84 |
24 |
5 |
1220 |
No Erick, it won't make it to the New Yorker, they haven't started publishing yet. |
1.3009 |
0.05316 |
113 |
85 |
22 |
6 |
1221 |
It’s a matter of perspective, okay? |
1.3009 |
0.05010 |
113 |
83 |
26 |
4 |
1222 |
I just have to think of something funny to write underneath it |
1.3009 |
0.04850 |
113 |
82 |
28 |
3 |
1223 |
Relax, I'm just getting to the tusks! |
1.3008 |
0.04152 |
123 |
86 |
37 |
0 |
1224 |
Okay, I uploaded your picture to my Facebook wall. |
1.3000 |
0.04822 |
120 |
88 |
28 |
4 |
1225 |
As you requested, I'm taking a few inches off your nose. |
1.3000 |
0.04822 |
120 |
88 |
28 |
4 |
1226 |
If you want this to show you winning a battle with a tiger you're going to have to figure out how to get one to pose. |
1.2991 |
0.05188 |
117 |
88 |
23 |
6 |
1227 |
One word. Three syllables. |
1.2991 |
0.05044 |
117 |
87 |
25 |
5 |
1228 |
I'm using long lasting paint, so we should be good for awhile. |
1.2991 |
0.04585 |
117 |
84 |
31 |
2 |
1229 |
No, it is not an armadillo. |
1.2991 |
0.05728 |
117 |
92 |
15 |
10 |
1230 |
And you think you can do better ? |
1.2991 |
0.05188 |
117 |
88 |
23 |
6 |
1231 |
A smile, please. A little sort-of mysterious half smile. |
1.2991 |
0.05328 |
117 |
89 |
21 |
7 |
1232 |
What do you mean "Draw me like one of your French mammoths?" |
1.2991 |
0.05044 |
117 |
87 |
25 |
5 |
1233 |
Good. Keep your trunk down and tusks up. |
1.2991 |
0.04896 |
117 |
86 |
27 |
4 |
1234 |
I know you're naked....but it's ART! |
1.2991 |
0.04896 |
117 |
86 |
27 |
4 |
1235 |
And just how would you like me to show your “incredible memory”? |
1.2991 |
0.05044 |
117 |
87 |
25 |
5 |
1236 |
You aren’t fat. Charcoal adds 200 pounds. |
1.2991 |
0.05188 |
117 |
88 |
23 |
6 |
1237 |
Paint me like one of your French mammoths. |
1.2982 |
0.05127 |
114 |
85 |
24 |
5 |
1238 |
Well, you are somewhat stout. |
1.2982 |
0.04814 |
114 |
83 |
28 |
3 |
1239 |
Theoretically, nothing is set in stone. |
1.2982 |
0.04814 |
114 |
83 |
28 |
3 |
1240 |
Is it OK if I post this? |
1.2982 |
0.05127 |
114 |
85 |
24 |
5 |
1241 |
Keep still, I have to finish before you go extinct. |
1.2982 |
0.05276 |
114 |
86 |
22 |
6 |
1242 |
You try to capture 'inherent majestic grace' using a stick and some colored mud. |
1.2982 |
0.05127 |
114 |
85 |
24 |
5 |
1243 |
Oh be quiet, I've got to start somewhere. |
1.2982 |
0.05563 |
114 |
88 |
18 |
8 |
1244 |
I don't do portraits. I'm a cave man -- only side views. Now will you please turn! |
1.2982 |
0.04973 |
114 |
84 |
26 |
4 |
1245 |
Why must you always dwell on the size of your tusks. |
1.2982 |
0.04650 |
114 |
82 |
30 |
2 |
1246 |
Hold still. I’m loving the firelight reflected in your eyes. |
1.2982 |
0.05421 |
114 |
87 |
20 |
7 |
1247 |
No, I’m not gonna make it bigger. |
1.2982 |
0.05421 |
114 |
87 |
20 |
7 |
1248 |
You'll look like a woolly mammoth when I'm finished |
1.2982 |
0.05127 |
114 |
85 |
24 |
5 |
1249 |
Give me that mysterious smile. |
1.2982 |
0.05276 |
114 |
86 |
22 |
6 |
1250 |
I don't know what cheese is either. Just trumpet something and hold it for a minute or two. |
1.2982 |
0.05276 |
114 |
86 |
22 |
6 |
1251 |
I said I could make you look smaller,not thinner. |
1.2982 |
0.05421 |
114 |
87 |
20 |
7 |
1252 |
I promise no one will think you were truncated. |
1.2982 |
0.05276 |
114 |
86 |
22 |
6 |
1253 |
I got your good side. |
1.2982 |
0.04480 |
114 |
81 |
32 |
1 |
1254 |
Uh, your butt actually IS that big. |
1.2966 |
0.04861 |
118 |
87 |
27 |
4 |
1255 |
It's more of an abstract. |
1.2966 |
0.05008 |
118 |
88 |
25 |
5 |
1256 |
I promise, no-one will see it. |
1.2966 |
0.05008 |
118 |
88 |
25 |
5 |
1257 |
Well if you must always be in the room, let's get your portrait done. |
1.2966 |
0.05008 |
118 |
88 |
25 |
5 |
1258 |
Keep your trunk on. I'll get to the tusks. |
1.2957 |
0.04937 |
115 |
85 |
26 |
4 |
1259 |
Next, we need a creative caption. |
1.2957 |
0.04937 |
115 |
85 |
26 |
4 |
1260 |
It's not you, specifically, more the essence of you in a post-modern reality. But, yes, I could make the tusks bigger. |
1.2957 |
0.05380 |
115 |
88 |
20 |
7 |
1261 |
No, I won't airbrush out your wrinkles. |
1.2957 |
0.04937 |
115 |
85 |
26 |
4 |
1262 |
For the last time - life-size costs extra - a LOT extra! |
1.2957 |
0.05089 |
115 |
86 |
24 |
5 |
1263 |
I'll soon be a Master, Don! |
1.2957 |
0.05089 |
115 |
86 |
24 |
5 |
1264 |
Hold still. It's a difficult tusk. |
1.2946 |
0.05174 |
112 |
84 |
23 |
5 |
1265 |
I know you said you'd pose for peanuts, but I don't know what they are. |
1.2946 |
0.05327 |
112 |
85 |
21 |
6 |
1266 |
Which side IS your good side? |
1.2946 |
0.05476 |
112 |
86 |
19 |
7 |
1267 |
Yes, this is your good side! |
1.2946 |
0.05174 |
112 |
84 |
23 |
5 |
1268 |
In 20,000 years you will be famous |
1.2946 |
0.05327 |
112 |
85 |
21 |
6 |
1269 |
How'd you start that fire? |
1.2946 |
0.05327 |
112 |
85 |
21 |
6 |
1270 |
I'm trying to capture a fresh perspective, whatever that means. |
1.2946 |
0.05016 |
112 |
83 |
25 |
4 |
1271 |
It's called creative license, and I say it looks like you. |
1.2946 |
0.05327 |
112 |
85 |
21 |
6 |
1272 |
It's not meant to be literal. |
1.2946 |
0.04853 |
112 |
82 |
27 |
3 |
1273 |
Well, perhaps their subject matter was a little more cooperative in Lascaux! |
1.2946 |
0.05174 |
112 |
84 |
23 |
5 |
1274 |
Now remember, the limestone adds ten pounds. |
1.2941 |
0.05250 |
119 |
91 |
21 |
7 |
1275 |
The ad said 'Draw the mammoth. Win an art scholarship'. |
1.2941 |
0.05113 |
119 |
90 |
23 |
6 |
1276 |
Shall we do the kitchen in wildebeest? |
1.2931 |
0.04900 |
116 |
86 |
26 |
4 |
1277 |
OK, you are here..... |
1.2931 |
0.05051 |
116 |
87 |
24 |
5 |
1278 |
Did the assailant have tusks? |
1.2931 |
0.05051 |
116 |
87 |
24 |
5 |
1279 |
You had to sneeze at exactly that moment. |
1.2931 |
0.05197 |
116 |
88 |
22 |
6 |
1280 |
Less pensive, and more awe struck. |
1.2931 |
0.04584 |
116 |
84 |
30 |
2 |
1281 |
You might not believe this, but I actually started out as a gatherer. |
1.2931 |
0.04245 |
116 |
82 |
34 |
0 |
1282 |
This is just a rough sketch. |
1.2931 |
0.05051 |
116 |
87 |
24 |
5 |
1283 |
Scoff all you want now, cuz in a thousand years I'll be famous & where will you be? Extinct! |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1284 |
You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1285 |
This is a mammoth task. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1286 |
I prefer to call it "Naive Art". "Primitive" is so uncool. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1287 |
I call it 'Tiny Elephant' |
1.2909 |
0.05967 |
110 |
88 |
12 |
10 |
1288 |
This is you in 10,000 years. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1289 |
Does this look like the perp who tried to steal your ivory? |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1290 |
Yes! But is it ART? |
1.2909 |
0.05681 |
110 |
86 |
16 |
8 |
1291 |
If you turn your head a bit, you can catch the firelight on that right tusk. |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1292 |
You want the trunk bigger? |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1293 |
What do you think? It's my first trunk show. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1294 |
A pearl earring? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard of! |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1295 |
I did not make you look woolly. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1296 |
Evolution, mevolution. And I suppose you believe in climate change. |
1.2909 |
0.05967 |
110 |
88 |
12 |
10 |
1297 |
Now we'll just add some happy little clouds. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1298 |
The wall always adds a thousand pounds. |
1.2909 |
0.05681 |
110 |
86 |
16 |
8 |
1299 |
Hold still will you, this is going into National Geo's prehistoric issue |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1300 |
The saber-tooth got time-and-a-half because it had an agent. Also, teeth. |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1301 |
My big concern is that the place's new owners will paint over it. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1302 |
For the last time, this IS your good side! |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1303 |
Just a few more minutes....It's all mastodon. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1304 |
I'm trying to move away from Neo-Paleolithic Impressionism. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1305 |
Once I'm done, I'll post it on your wall. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1306 |
Can you show me "Paleolithic"? |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1307 |
Yes I noticed you have grown since I started. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1308 |
It begins with an 'E' and has 3 syllables. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1309 |
I'm tired of standing here. Why can't you just do it from memory? |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1310 |
Okay, now you draw me. |
1.2909 |
0.04718 |
110 |
80 |
28 |
2 |
1311 |
Ok, now raise your trunk and give me a pout. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1312 |
You just don't get primitivism. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1313 |
Stop moving...I told you, the fire is just an illusion...we haven't discovered it yet. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1314 |
What do you mean, "now draw yourself under my left front foot?" |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1315 |
Don't look at me, the cave wall adds a 200 pounds. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1316 |
Yes, you are the elephant in the room. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1317 |
In case your memory fails... |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1318 |
Stand still, this will be pre-historic one day! |
1.2909 |
0.05681 |
110 |
86 |
16 |
8 |
1319 |
What do you mean, not wooly enough? This is how you look! |
1.2909 |
0.05826 |
110 |
87 |
14 |
9 |
1320 |
Ok, fine, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. |
1.2909 |
0.05681 |
110 |
86 |
16 |
8 |
1321 |
No! I won't make your tusks bigger. |
1.2909 |
0.05379 |
110 |
84 |
20 |
6 |
1322 |
I told you, painting first, peanuts second. |
1.2909 |
0.05222 |
110 |
83 |
22 |
5 |
1323 |
My early work was more abstract, but I feel like I am gravitating towards representational pieces these days. |
1.2909 |
0.05059 |
110 |
82 |
24 |
4 |
1324 |
Give me more pout. |
1.2909 |
0.05532 |
110 |
85 |
18 |
7 |
1325 |
JUST THINK. THOUSANDS OF YEARS FROM NOW, THIS WILL BE THE ONLY EVIDENCE THAT YOU EVER EXISTED. |
1.2906 |
0.05300 |
117 |
90 |
20 |
7 |
1326 |
How do you spell that? |
1.2906 |
0.05159 |
117 |
89 |
22 |
6 |
1327 |
We'll have our first retrospective in about 10, 000 years. |
1.2906 |
0.04865 |
117 |
87 |
26 |
4 |
1328 |
Did your attacker have any tattoos? |
1.2906 |
0.05014 |
117 |
88 |
24 |
5 |
1329 |
The cave adds 20 pounds. |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1330 |
If you aren't happy posing for me, you can always run away to the circus! |
1.2897 |
0.05313 |
107 |
81 |
21 |
5 |
1331 |
Does this make your tusks look too big? |
1.2897 |
0.05635 |
107 |
83 |
17 |
7 |
1332 |
You're not the only one getting tired of the caveman cartoons! |
1.2897 |
0.04970 |
107 |
79 |
25 |
3 |
1333 |
I’m happy to take off a few inches but I need you to smile. |
1.2885 |
0.05053 |
104 |
77 |
24 |
3 |
1334 |
Don't worry--nobody's going to see this. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1335 |
This is only a sketch. The final version will be life-size. |
1.2870 |
0.04567 |
108 |
78 |
29 |
1 |
1336 |
No, this does not make you look fat |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1337 |
Yes. I will get your horns in the drawing. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1338 |
Keep your trunk up or I'm going with the donkey! |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1339 |
“Trust me, this will make you famous”. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1340 |
Just a little more to the left, Paul. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1341 |
The charcoal add ten pounds. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1342 |
Anyways, the cave wall adds ten pounds. Everyone knows that. |
1.2870 |
0.04753 |
108 |
79 |
27 |
2 |
1343 |
This better not end up on the web. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1344 |
Of course, what I'd really like to do is direct. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1345 |
It does NOT make your ass look fat. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1346 |
Don't worry, the drawing adds 10 pounds! |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1347 |
Now paint me like one of your Paleolithic girls. |
1.2870 |
0.05742 |
108 |
85 |
15 |
8 |
1348 |
You're far away -- do I have to explain the rules of perspective to you again? |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1349 |
If you want it bigger, make sure an elephant never forgets his checkbook next time. |
1.2870 |
0.05742 |
108 |
85 |
15 |
8 |
1350 |
Say tundra grass |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1351 |
‘I’m going to call it Elephant’. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1352 |
That’s enough fooling around. Let’s focus on the tusk at hand. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1353 |
I don't care if your tusks ARE toasty, could you please stand still? |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1354 |
This technique could have prehistoric significance one day. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1355 |
Thank you for standing still for three months. The unicorn drove me crazy. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1356 |
I can make you look smaller, but not thinner. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1357 |
Fancy staying over for dinner? |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1358 |
Quit moving your trunk! |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1359 |
No, I said you're looking "tusky"! |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1360 |
Don't be so vain. Nobody's going to see this. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1361 |
I get it. You're a mammoth, but I've only got so much paint. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1362 |
How long is this going to take? I’ll be extinct soon! |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1363 |
Can you give me that iconic mammoth smile? |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1364 |
"I'd ask you to say, "cheese" but it is not invented yet. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1365 |
No, I can't just 'knock a few pounds off'. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1366 |
Just going extinct is no reason not to at least smile for me. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1367 |
Trust me, this is your best side |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1368 |
Ars longa, vita brevis. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1369 |
Well which side IS your good side? |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1370 |
It's not surrealist, you're just that fat. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1371 |
No one'll believe I got an elephant to pose for me. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1372 |
Well, someone has to acknowledge the elephant in the room! |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1373 |
I know, I know...you're mammoth. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1374 |
When first starting a diet, it’s best to visualize a future slimmer you. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1375 |
No, I will NOT make them larger! |
1.2870 |
0.05742 |
108 |
85 |
15 |
8 |
1376 |
Hold still. Have to get this right before you become extinct. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1377 |
I guess I'd have to say my artistic style is still evolving. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1378 |
Here we go again with the "Make my tusks HUGER...." |
1.2870 |
0.05891 |
108 |
86 |
13 |
9 |
1379 |
Now turn sideways while Gorg pretends to throw a spear at you. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1380 |
I know your trunk isn't sticking straight out, it's called artistic license. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1381 |
There; now no one say Torg 'ignore elephant in room' again! |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1382 |
No, I don't think it makes your butt look big. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1383 |
Okay now play dead so I can draw the next scene |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1384 |
I'm all out of ivory white. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1385 |
It's not meant to look exactly like you. I'm experimenting with Pre-Impresssionism. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1386 |
And after the surgery your nose will look loke this. |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1387 |
Before you get upset, remember that the wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1388 |
Gladys, I think it's time we address the elephant in the cave. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1389 |
I guess I'd call it Post-Neanderthal Realism. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1390 |
it’s called prehistoric minimalism |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1391 |
Turn a little bit more to the left, please. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1392 |
Trouble is, people never truly appreciate art till we’re dead. |
1.2870 |
0.04753 |
108 |
79 |
27 |
2 |
1393 |
They won’t know you were in the room. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1394 |
Don’t worry, I’m sure no one will ever see this. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1395 |
Look, I paint what I see. You just aren’t as thin as you think you are. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1396 |
Try to show a little more leg. |
1.2870 |
0.04753 |
108 |
79 |
27 |
2 |
1397 |
Wow... The cave drawing really does add 10 pounds. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1398 |
Let’s see a little more tusk! |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1399 |
No, this drawing does not make you look fat. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1400 |
The wall adds 10 pounds. Honest! |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1401 |
Oh don't exaggerate, your tusks aren't that big |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1402 |
The cave wall adds ten pounds. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1403 |
Look, you want Thomas Kinkaid, you hire someone else to do your portrait. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1404 |
No, I don’t think it makes you look fat. |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1405 |
C'mon...Angry! Give me Angry! |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1406 |
I'll note that images on the wall may appear smaller than they are. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1407 |
Stay still. I want to preserve you. |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1408 |
You said smaller. If you wanted slimmer, you should have asked for slimmer. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1409 |
Why does Bob Ross make this look easy? |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1410 |
I'm going to leave the tusks off because it will make you look less extinct. |
1.2870 |
0.04753 |
108 |
79 |
27 |
2 |
1411 |
have you considered a nose job? |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1412 |
Do I really have to pose naked? |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1413 |
But you are fat. |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1414 |
Funny thing, my next customer after you is a donkey! |
1.2870 |
0.05432 |
108 |
83 |
19 |
6 |
1415 |
Just wait, you'll be famous in 3600 years. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1416 |
Are you kidding? It looks just like you! |
1.2870 |
0.05104 |
108 |
81 |
23 |
4 |
1417 |
This painting will make you so famous that someday you will symbolize lower taxes, and an oil rig in your own back yard. |
1.2870 |
0.04931 |
108 |
80 |
25 |
3 |
1418 |
At least TRY to look presidential! |
1.2870 |
0.05891 |
108 |
86 |
13 |
9 |
1419 |
It's post-prehistoric style, okay? |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1420 |
Again, how long has he been missing? Are you sure he isn't just extinct? |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1421 |
We’re done. You can get dressed now. |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1422 |
No, I'm not showing the tusks - people will kill for them. |
1.2870 |
0.05589 |
108 |
84 |
17 |
7 |
1423 |
Relax! They won't know that I didn't hunt you down! |
1.2870 |
0.05742 |
108 |
85 |
15 |
8 |
1424 |
hold still not everyone has your memory |
1.2870 |
0.05271 |
108 |
82 |
21 |
5 |
1425 |
Cave walls really aren't my preferred medium. |
1.2857 |
0.04430 |
105 |
75 |
30 |
0 |
1426 |
...and if you REMEMBER our agreement, and I know you do...the trunk needs to be EXTENDED....EXTENNNDED. |
1.2857 |
0.05141 |
112 |
85 |
22 |
5 |
1427 |
I happen to like 'white elephant art.' |
1.2857 |
0.05191 |
105 |
79 |
22 |
4 |
1428 |
You seem to be having trouble with Pictionary. How about charades? |
1.2857 |
0.05012 |
105 |
78 |
24 |
3 |
1429 |
Let's review: You need one portrait for your passport, and you desire a second one for your mother? |
1.2844 |
0.05544 |
109 |
85 |
17 |
7 |
1430 |
My agent says do to this until there’s a market for abstract impressionism. |
1.2844 |
0.05064 |
109 |
82 |
23 |
4 |
1431 |
Yes, posing naked is part of the job. |
1.2844 |
0.05229 |
109 |
83 |
21 |
5 |
1432 |
C'mon, work with me! Let me see that personality! |
1.2844 |
0.04532 |
109 |
79 |
29 |
1 |
1433 |
I know it's not a faithful representation, but the trunk looks better this way. |
1.2844 |
0.04716 |
109 |
80 |
27 |
2 |
1434 |
Nudes are my specialty. |
1.2844 |
0.05229 |
109 |
83 |
21 |
5 |
1435 |
I can't seem to get the smile right. |
1.2844 |
0.05389 |
109 |
84 |
19 |
6 |
1436 |
Can you make my trunk look bigger? |
1.2844 |
0.04532 |
109 |
79 |
29 |
1 |
1437 |
You should talk? I've seen your paintings. |
1.2844 |
0.04341 |
109 |
78 |
31 |
0 |
1438 |
If you want to switch parties, fine! But in this cave we still vote Neo-Pachyderm. |
1.2844 |
0.05544 |
109 |
85 |
17 |
7 |
1439 |
Martha, your ass looks fine! |
1.2844 |
0.05064 |
109 |
82 |
23 |
4 |
1440 |
When we started this, it was erect. I'm not changing it now. |
1.2843 |
0.04902 |
102 |
75 |
25 |
2 |
1441 |
Well you call it Primitive but I'm telling it's Figurative and that's what your nose looks like. If anything I've made it smaller. |
1.2843 |
0.04902 |
102 |
75 |
25 |
2 |
1442 |
What do you mean by reductive? |
1.2843 |
0.05283 |
102 |
77 |
21 |
4 |
1443 |
You'll be safer if I don't draw in the tusks. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1444 |
I know you could work from memory, but I need you to stay put. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1445 |
Just hold still and I'll finish before you're extinct. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1446 |
I’ll do my best, but the wall adds five pounds. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1447 |
You moved your trunk again! |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1448 |
As you leave, could you please ask the saber-toothed tiger to come in. |
1.2830 |
0.04972 |
106 |
79 |
24 |
3 |
1449 |
Don't worry. The wrinkles come out in post-production. |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1450 |
Could you just stop evolving until I finish this? |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1451 |
Of course it's derivative. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1452 |
I haven't discovered perspective yet. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1453 |
Have you been a nude model for a long time? |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1454 |
No, I will NOT make your nose look smaller. I'm a realist. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1455 |
I know I didn't draw them in. They look fake on you. Are they implants? |
1.2830 |
0.04787 |
106 |
78 |
26 |
2 |
1456 |
What I can do for you is a procedure called a tuskectomy. It’s very common for mammoths looking for a more youthful appearance. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1457 |
The agency told you you'd be posing in the nude, right? |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1458 |
It's not really a selfie if I do all the drawing. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1459 |
For the last time, stand still and quit going extinct! |
1.2830 |
0.04787 |
106 |
78 |
26 |
2 |
1460 |
Ugh, the lighting in here is prehistoric. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1461 |
Remember, the cave wall adds 10 lbs. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1462 |
When the donkey arrives I'd like to do a political cartoon. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1463 |
Okay, okay. I'll make your tusks look longer. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1464 |
Calm down. I'm starting with your grandmother on your father's side who had no tusks! |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1465 |
I'M NOT DRAWING THIS TO SCALE - OK? |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1466 |
You think art is pointless? I promise you this will be here long after we are. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1467 |
Let me just finish this portrait of you, and then you can go play in the tar. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1468 |
Yes, it is too that big! |
1.2830 |
0.05958 |
106 |
85 |
12 |
9 |
1469 |
Did you notice how short I made your legs? I call it the "Corgi Mammoth". |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1470 |
Yeah, I know, but you ARE fat. |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1471 |
Ok, I may not be a Leonardo, but you certainly are no Mona Lisa! |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1472 |
I'll draw full-size once you invent the ladder. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1473 |
Okay, we've got a big nose, big enamels, now how about a big smile! |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1474 |
Hold still or you're going to look like an elephant! |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1475 |
Is that how you want to be remembered? |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1476 |
I'm just saying, without a better profile pic, you'll never find a mate. Then, where will you be? |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1477 |
Give me a little more profile. |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1478 |
Any other notable details? I'll send this image down to the station and we'll see if any matches come up. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1479 |
We're losing light. Think you can survive for one last session? |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1480 |
Thank you letting me post this on my wall! My followers love elephants. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1481 |
Hold still .... I want to finish before you go extinct. |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1482 |
Give me more of that pouty look. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1483 |
Give me a break, this isn't Lascaux. |
1.2830 |
0.05805 |
106 |
84 |
14 |
8 |
1484 |
This is just a rough sketch with primitives. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1485 |
Yes, you have to be naked. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1486 |
What's the rush? It's not like you're going extinct. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1487 |
You can forget about that that modeling fee. We're both working for peanuts. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1488 |
If you mention the size of the tusks again, I'm going to turn it into a labradoodle. |
1.2830 |
0.05648 |
106 |
83 |
16 |
7 |
1489 |
Now for the tusks. On a scale from 0 to Trump, how self-aggrandizing would you like? |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1490 |
I told you before that passport paintings take at least an hour. |
1.2830 |
0.05321 |
106 |
81 |
20 |
5 |
1491 |
What say we knock off for the day and hit the ol' watering hole? |
1.2830 |
0.05149 |
106 |
80 |
22 |
4 |
1492 |
One day you’ll be famous as the first elephant in the room. |
1.2830 |
0.05487 |
106 |
82 |
18 |
6 |
1493 |
Of course it’s you! |
1.2816 |
0.05921 |
103 |
82 |
13 |
8 |
1494 |
Don't be silly - it's not pornographic if you don't wear clothes in the first place! |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1495 |
Now, give me that Mona Lisa smile |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1496 |
The charcoal always adds ten pounds. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1497 |
No, I will not make you look slimmer. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1498 |
And thus ends our sex-ed class! |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1499 |
I can post whatever pictures I want to on my wall. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1500 |
I'm sorry, but you just don't have a good side. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1501 |
Stop complaining. I paint the way I see it. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1502 |
Alright already - I gave you a smaller nose. |
1.2816 |
0.04862 |
103 |
76 |
25 |
2 |
1503 |
You don't look mammoth. |
1.2816 |
0.04862 |
103 |
76 |
25 |
2 |
1504 |
Welcome to the GOP Convention 2019 |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1505 |
Now give me that Mysterious Smile. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1506 |
just sayin, you're a bit long in the tusk |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1507 |
Don't expect my best work; you're paying me peanuts. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1508 |
I'll debut this at my trunk show. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1509 |
Plato's gonna get a kick out of this. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1510 |
The first critic! |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1511 |
You're beautiful, work with me. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1512 |
Look, if you'd try Paleo, perhaps your butt wouldn't be mammoth |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1513 |
We'll have to speed this up, I have other models coming in. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1514 |
No, I won't exaggerate the size of your trunk and tusks. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1515 |
What "good side"? |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1516 |
So... am I hunting you or you're trampling me? |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1517 |
Do we need to start with the birds and the bees or can we just cut to elephant boys and girls? |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1518 |
Is there any other feature you remember of who stole your peanuts? |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1519 |
In this age, you either publish or perish |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1520 |
Well, I don’t see YOU picking up a paint brush! |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1521 |
Keep your trunk still if you want to finish this before the end of the ice age |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1522 |
It's art. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1523 |
Entry in the Mammoth prize competition: "The Elephant in the Room" |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1524 |
Yes, I'll make the tusks bigger. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1525 |
I know, I know, the cave adds ten pounds. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1526 |
Sneeze one more time and this session is over. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1527 |
But your tusks are what make you you... |
1.2816 |
0.04862 |
103 |
76 |
25 |
2 |
1528 |
Nobody will believe those tusks, trust me. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1529 |
Well, what do you expect!? I'm a friggin' caveman! |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1530 |
If you move I cannot give you 2 tusks. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1531 |
No, I will not lengthen your tusks. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1532 |
I'm sorry it's so two-dimensional, but perspective hasn't been invented yet. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1533 |
I know the tusks aren't to scale - it's for the National Portrait Gallery, not the White House. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1534 |
Okay, Say cheese. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1535 |
Quit whining, the Republicans will never pick you anyway. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1536 |
I tell you, that Paleo diet really has done wonders for your jowl line. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1537 |
You're part in the play will be to pretend to play dead when we put spears here, here, and here. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1538 |
You'll forgive me if I miss a few details—the lighting in here is terrible. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1539 |
Pleistocene sales are weak but the critics are predicting a hot Holocene. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1540 |
No, I can’t give you a Mona Lisa smile. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1541 |
So it's not enough to pose for me, you gotta be a critic, too? |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1542 |
I usually do at least five of these before I have one I feel good about. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1543 |
You're right! You do look better with a nose job. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1544 |
They say that the stone adds 1000 pounds. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1545 |
Yes, you did move. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1546 |
How long do I have you for? |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1547 |
Keep that friendly, but fierce look |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1548 |
I know. It doesn't look like you. I call it Impressionism. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1549 |
Next we’ll do one with you in wool. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1550 |
The fire stays. It puts you in the best light. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1551 |
Yes, I know you're not this small. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1552 |
No, I'm not making your trunk too small. What are you, a Trump elephant? |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1553 |
That mysterious smile will get us nowhere. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1554 |
No, tusks are an element of patriarchal dominance. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1555 |
Yes, but could you make just a little effort to smile? |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1556 |
Does mammoth have two ems or three? |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1557 |
Well, you don't exactly look like the Mona Lisa, either. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1558 |
You might never forget, but I need a picture. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1559 |
Realism is so last epoch. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1560 |
I'm just making an artistic statement, okay? The tusks are a little too much. |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1561 |
I am leaving the tusks out because they make you look bestial. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1562 |
Great! Alright. Now give me some pouty lips. |
1.2816 |
0.05239 |
103 |
78 |
21 |
4 |
1563 |
I know it is primitive but someday cartoons will be all the rage |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1564 |
In a few thousand years you might become a Republican. |
1.2816 |
0.05590 |
103 |
80 |
17 |
6 |
1565 |
Hey! I said don’t look yet! |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1566 |
You're so vain, you probably think this is about you. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1567 |
Look like you forgot something. |
1.2816 |
0.05418 |
103 |
79 |
19 |
5 |
1568 |
Do you think you could draw it better? |
1.2816 |
0.05054 |
103 |
77 |
23 |
3 |
1569 |
No, I am clearly -not- ignoring the elephant in the room. See? It's right there. |
1.2816 |
0.05758 |
103 |
81 |
15 |
7 |
1570 |
Fuck off, I'd like to see you do better. |
1.2804 |
0.05602 |
107 |
84 |
16 |
7 |
1571 |
This is not you. It's the Platonic ideal of you. |
1.2804 |
0.04750 |
107 |
79 |
26 |
2 |
1572 |
How can you be an art critic? This is the first work of art! |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1573 |
Thanks for filling in. The saber-toothed cat fell into a tar pit. |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1574 |
I always have trouble painting the nude figure. |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1575 |
Trunk up, damn it! Trunk up! |
1.2804 |
0.05108 |
107 |
81 |
22 |
4 |
1576 |
No one will see this five years from now. Why are you so worried about a few extra pounds? |
1.2804 |
0.04560 |
107 |
78 |
28 |
1 |
1577 |
Whaddya mean I would be better off hiring an interior decorator? |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1578 |
Don’t worry. This is a first draft. |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1579 |
This is your baby picture |
1.2804 |
0.04750 |
107 |
79 |
26 |
2 |
1580 |
I'm doing a whole series. I call it Neanderthal Geographic. |
1.2804 |
0.05277 |
107 |
82 |
20 |
5 |
1581 |
You say, he mounted you from behind - did you notice any distinguishing characteristics? |
1.2804 |
0.04932 |
107 |
80 |
24 |
3 |
1582 |
C'mon Mona, where's that smile? |
1.2804 |
0.05108 |
107 |
81 |
22 |
4 |
1583 |
You can rest in a minute, just stop evolving! |
1.2800 |
0.05519 |
100 |
77 |
18 |
5 |
1584 |
The cave paint always adds ten pounds. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1585 |
No, no, no, My tusks are HUGE, HUGE! |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1586 |
Do you think it looks like Babar? |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1587 |
No, I don't think it makes your butt look big. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1588 |
You are not fat. You are Rubenesque. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1589 |
This just the IDEA of an elephant. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1590 |
Are you sensitive about how I do your tusks? |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1591 |
No, your butt does NOT look too big. |
1.2788 |
0.05870 |
104 |
83 |
13 |
8 |
1592 |
Hold still. I don't want you to be extinct before I finish this. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1593 |
I'm sorry if I seem a little frightened -- I've never drawn a nude before. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1594 |
I know, they're HUGE...just give me a minute. |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1595 |
This is the last time I help you with a personal ad. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1596 |
For an upcharge, I can add more wool around your face, lengthen your tusks, and fill out your backside. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1597 |
What do you mean that's not how you remember it? |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1598 |
It's called scale, alright! Don't be so sensitive, my wall is only so big! |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1599 |
No! It does not make you look heavy. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1600 |
I might not have enough paint for the tusks. How do you feel about being remembered as vaguely anteater-like |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1601 |
Wildlife and hunters -- that's all people want in their caves these days! |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1602 |
Or course you don't look fat |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1603 |
Paint me like one of your Lascaux girls. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1604 |
Because, believe it or not, a day will come when you WILL forget. |
1.2788 |
0.05543 |
104 |
81 |
17 |
6 |
1605 |
Wall add 10 pounds |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1606 |
I call it 'Portrait of the Elephant in the Room'. You got a problem with that? |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1607 |
Please -a little "Mona Lisa" smile won't hurt. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1608 |
Just think, in 40,000 years you'll be famous |
1.2788 |
0.05012 |
104 |
78 |
23 |
3 |
1609 |
Well, your nose IS big. |
1.2788 |
0.05709 |
104 |
82 |
15 |
7 |
1610 |
No, I just do the drawing. You have to come up with the caption. |
1.2788 |
0.05372 |
104 |
80 |
19 |
5 |
1611 |
Because you are always nude. |
1.2788 |
0.05195 |
104 |
79 |
21 |
4 |
1612 |
What could you possibly understand about minimalism. |
1.2772 |
0.05822 |
101 |
80 |
14 |
7 |
1613 |
I'm giving you a little more gravitas. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1614 |
I don't know Roger. It's lacking drama. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1615 |
Work with me here; stop closing your eyes! |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1616 |
Of course it doesn’t look like you; it’s pre-modernist art! |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1617 |
No, I can't make the trunk longer. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1618 |
Come on, can't you just keep it up for a minute longer? |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1619 |
I’ll draw a few more of you, add a few stick figures, and you watch ... we’ll be famous! |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1620 |
You can put your clothes back on now. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1621 |
Don't tell me you've forgotten? It's called minimalism |
1.2772 |
0.04692 |
101 |
74 |
26 |
1 |
1622 |
Hold still, Lisa. I'm trying to capture that enigmatic smile. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1623 |
I've shortened the tusks to give you a more modern look. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1624 |
I agree. Mick drew your ears too small. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1625 |
Why? So people will know what you looked like if you go extinct! Now, up with that trunk and smile. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1626 |
I'm going for understatement of mammoth proportions. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1627 |
Yes, I can draw it so your trunk appears to look at a viewer anywhere in the cave. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1628 |
Don't complain it doesn't look like you. It will in 20,000 years. |
1.2772 |
0.05822 |
101 |
80 |
14 |
7 |
1629 |
It's called "rubenesque". |
1.2772 |
0.04899 |
101 |
75 |
24 |
2 |
1630 |
Look, when you signed the release you knew you might be posing nude. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1631 |
Come on. No one will ever believe you were all that big. |
1.2772 |
0.04899 |
101 |
75 |
24 |
2 |
1632 |
One day this will be known as Mammoth Cave. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1633 |
I dumbed it down to keep it family friendly. |
1.2772 |
0.04692 |
101 |
74 |
26 |
1 |
1634 |
I like painting pictures of my food before I eat it. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1635 |
Yes, I'll make sure the tusks look REALLY large! |
1.2772 |
0.04899 |
101 |
75 |
24 |
2 |
1636 |
What'd you expect from The New Yorker? |
1.2772 |
0.04692 |
101 |
74 |
26 |
1 |
1637 |
Everybody's a critic these days! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1638 |
When we discussed scale, I meant pay scale! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1639 |
She told me I needed to do more than just hunting for her to stick around. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1640 |
The sonogram results will take one more stroke. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1641 |
You might never forget but we will |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1642 |
The firelight hides your wrinkles. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1643 |
Well you draw it, then |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1644 |
If you don't stand still you'll end up looking like a dog! |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1645 |
Next time you want to point something out to me, use your words! |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1646 |
Paleoconservatives have commissioned a new symbol. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1647 |
For the last time, turn to the side! Try to look flat. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1648 |
A little more expression, please. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1649 |
Yes, yes, I'm sure this is your good side. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1650 |
I only do herbivores. Carnivores get hungry. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1651 |
President Trunk poses for his official portrait. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1652 |
What? I call it a caricature. |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1653 |
I'm getting real tired of being your mirror, Greg. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1654 |
they say the walls add 10lbs |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1655 |
When we are dead, this is going to be worth millions, now stand still! |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1656 |
I call it, "Mastodon in the Room" - it's sure to catch on. |
1.2772 |
0.05822 |
101 |
80 |
14 |
7 |
1657 |
Tsk-tsk yourself! Let's see you try to draw me! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1658 |
Want me to airbrush out your stretch marks? |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1659 |
I thought you said that was your good side. |
1.2772 |
0.04899 |
101 |
75 |
24 |
2 |
1660 |
Everybodys' a critic. Stop already with the tsks, tsks. |
1.2772 |
0.05990 |
101 |
81 |
12 |
8 |
1661 |
But global warming is a hoax! You will just love Africa, fur coat or no! |
1.2772 |
0.05990 |
101 |
81 |
12 |
8 |
1662 |
This is a drawing of you for posterity - just in the event that you become extinct. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1663 |
I know what you are. It's still called rhinoplasty. |
1.2772 |
0.05822 |
101 |
80 |
14 |
7 |
1664 |
Look, pretty soon we'll both be extinct. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1665 |
Don’t worry, it’s just for practice, no one’s ever going to see it. |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1666 |
Stop kvetching, I see my ophthalmologist next week! |
1.2772 |
0.04899 |
101 |
75 |
24 |
2 |
1667 |
What do you mean it doesn’t look like you! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1668 |
No, it really is that big. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1669 |
What do you mean by “Too representational?” |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1670 |
Did you have those surgically enhanced? |
1.2772 |
0.05990 |
101 |
81 |
12 |
8 |
1671 |
No, I don't think this color makes you look flat! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1672 |
They say a picture is worth a 1000 herds. |
1.2772 |
0.05990 |
101 |
81 |
12 |
8 |
1673 |
join now during our in cave special and I’ll have you looking like this in 6 months. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1674 |
Do you want to be remembered 3,000 years from now as the elephant with the droopy trunk? |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1675 |
It will be like you're frozen in time |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1676 |
For the last time, no I do not have any peanuts. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1677 |
No one is going to believe me if you don't hold still! |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1678 |
Great look! Now hold that expression. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1679 |
Caricature is the future! |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1680 |
I think this mural captures the zeitgeist of the stone age. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1681 |
You bring more firewood and I'll carve you bigger tusks. |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1682 |
Next time we'll do one clothed. |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1683 |
Relax, it's to scale. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1684 |
Stop evolving! |
1.2772 |
0.04692 |
101 |
74 |
26 |
1 |
1685 |
It will be ready when it's ready. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1686 |
No, I will not give you a mysterious 'come hither' smile. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1687 |
You’ll need this to board the plane . . . |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1688 |
Draw me like one of your Lascaux girls. |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1689 |
His ears were bigger and he was holding a large boulder in his trunk |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1690 |
Don't worry, I will downplay the nose. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1691 |
Actually, it hasn't been done before. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1692 |
Look, it’s not the painting that makes you look fat. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1693 |
Look, we all start going bald at some point... fine, I'll add more hair. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1694 |
Don't like it? No problem, it's only temporary. |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1695 |
So everybody is a critic now! |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1696 |
I know, I know. It's just in case WE forget... |
1.2772 |
0.05650 |
101 |
79 |
16 |
6 |
1697 |
I look terrible - delete it! |
1.2772 |
0.05288 |
101 |
77 |
20 |
4 |
1698 |
I'm sorry, but cave drawings always put on ten pounds. |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1699 |
This ID should get you though the ICE age |
1.2772 |
0.05472 |
101 |
78 |
18 |
5 |
1700 |
I told you just 2 minutes ago; you don't get the roasted peanuts until the painting is completely done! I hate to tell you this, but your short-term memory is shot! |
1.2772 |
0.05822 |
101 |
80 |
14 |
7 |
1701 |
I can never get the nose right. |
1.2772 |
0.05097 |
101 |
76 |
22 |
3 |
1702 |
If you don't like it, you invent painting. |
1.2762 |
0.05327 |
105 |
81 |
19 |
5 |
1703 |
Trust me, it's your better side. |
1.2762 |
0.04784 |
105 |
78 |
25 |
2 |
1704 |
Okay, get your trunk up. Break's over! |
1.2762 |
0.05496 |
105 |
82 |
17 |
6 |
1705 |
Yeah, well, the cave wall adds 20 pounds. |
1.2762 |
0.05152 |
105 |
80 |
21 |
4 |
1706 |
I am not going to add wings and devil horns just to “Mess with the minds of future scientists.” |
1.2762 |
0.05327 |
105 |
81 |
19 |
5 |
1707 |
Yes, your butt does look that big. |
1.2762 |
0.04972 |
105 |
79 |
23 |
3 |
1708 |
Don't worry, everyone looks 10lbs heavier on the wall |
1.2762 |
0.05661 |
105 |
83 |
15 |
7 |
1709 |
Just a few steps closer. Trust me. It’s only there to keep us warm. |
1.2762 |
0.05152 |
105 |
80 |
21 |
4 |
1710 |
Realism is so yesterday. This is modern art--it's not supposed to look like you. |
1.2762 |
0.04784 |
105 |
78 |
25 |
2 |
1711 |
Don't worry: I'll caveshop it later. |
1.2762 |
0.05327 |
105 |
81 |
19 |
5 |
1712 |
c'mon, look alive. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1713 |
Give me that Mona Lisa smile. |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1714 |
This is what you will look like without tusks. Shall we remove them? |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1715 |
No I can't make your butt smaller, it's mammoth! |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1716 |
Yes. OK. For another fifty bucks I can make your trunk look bigger. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1717 |
Look, I'm a realist. I'm not going to shave off 10 pounds just because it'll make you feel better about your portrait. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1718 |
They all say they won’t date someone without a good pic! |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1719 |
If you can’t hold still, someday they’ll think you were a giant anteater! |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1720 |
It’s not a phase mom, it’s who I am. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1721 |
Try that enigmatic smile again. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1722 |
I don’t do tusks. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1723 |
It’s your good side. |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1724 |
If only my perspective weren't just one-dimensional. |
1.2745 |
0.05242 |
102 |
78 |
20 |
4 |
1725 |
When I'm done you'll never forget it. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1726 |
Hold still if you want history to see your tusks. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1727 |
Plato said what? |
1.2745 |
0.05601 |
102 |
80 |
16 |
6 |
1728 |
Because I liked you better when you were a baby. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1729 |
Hold still. I'm capturing you before you start leaning to the right. |
1.2745 |
0.05424 |
102 |
79 |
18 |
5 |
1730 |
First fire, now pictures, what next? A round thing I can travel on? |
1.2745 |
0.05054 |
102 |
77 |
22 |
3 |
1731 |
One more crack that it looks like a dog with a crooked nose and you'll find yourself just another woolly mammoth out of a modeling job. |
1.2727 |
0.05527 |
99 |
77 |
17 |
5 |
1732 |
You think your trunk's tired, my arm is killing me. |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1733 |
I'm hornier than that. |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1734 |
Truth is, you're a bit long in the tusk. |
1.2727 |
0.04499 |
99 |
72 |
27 |
0 |
1735 |
Yeah, your butt is that big! |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1736 |
I left them off the drawing because they might frighten the children, ok? |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1737 |
Pleasingly plump I'd say. But, have you heard of the Holocene diet? |
1.2727 |
0.05140 |
99 |
75 |
21 |
3 |
1738 |
Need more light.Blow on fire |
1.2727 |
0.05140 |
99 |
75 |
21 |
3 |
1739 |
I don't work for peanuts, you know. |
1.2727 |
0.05527 |
99 |
77 |
17 |
5 |
1740 |
"One day they will find Picasso shared 2% of my DNA". |
1.2727 |
0.05710 |
99 |
78 |
15 |
6 |
1741 |
I'm getting 'woolly,' but I need more 'mammoth' from you. |
1.2727 |
0.05710 |
99 |
78 |
15 |
6 |
1742 |
Yes, yes .... I’ll capture your subtle allure. |
1.2727 |
0.05710 |
99 |
78 |
15 |
6 |
1743 |
Hold still. If we don't do this, they'll never believe we were both here at the same time. |
1.2727 |
0.05527 |
99 |
77 |
17 |
5 |
1744 |
Tiny tusks make your trunk look bigger. |
1.2727 |
0.05710 |
99 |
78 |
15 |
6 |
1745 |
No, of course I'm not trying to make you look fat. |
1.2727 |
0.05337 |
99 |
76 |
19 |
4 |
1746 |
Oh? So now you're the expert on primitive art? |
1.2727 |
0.05527 |
99 |
77 |
17 |
5 |
1747 |
Yes, it definitely shows off the junk in your trunk |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1748 |
This is a petroglyph...not a realistic portrait,Alphonse! |
1.2727 |
0.05337 |
99 |
76 |
19 |
4 |
1749 |
Okay, now give me, "flirtatious." |
1.2727 |
0.04936 |
99 |
74 |
23 |
2 |
1750 |
It'll be a discussion piece: "Elephant. In the room." |
1.2727 |
0.05710 |
99 |
78 |
15 |
6 |
1751 |
This had better get us both discovered. |
1.2718 |
0.05552 |
103 |
81 |
16 |
6 |
1752 |
Am I going nuts or did you draw me with two left feet? |
1.2708 |
0.05017 |
96 |
72 |
22 |
2 |
1753 |
You must join me in Provence this Spring. |
1.2708 |
0.05437 |
96 |
74 |
18 |
4 |
1754 |
What do you mean I made you look like an elephant. |
1.2708 |
0.05635 |
96 |
75 |
16 |
5 |
1755 |
I'd like the smile to be a bit more enigmatic, if you please. |
1.2708 |
0.05437 |
96 |
74 |
18 |
4 |
1756 |
It's called artistic license. You okay with that? |
1.2700 |
0.04683 |
100 |
74 |
25 |
1 |
1757 |
No I did not make you look fat, you are fat! |
1.2700 |
0.05478 |
100 |
78 |
17 |
5 |
1758 |
This light really makes your trunk look smaller. |
1.2700 |
0.05660 |
100 |
79 |
15 |
6 |
1759 |
Barb's going with fossilization but I felt like this better captured my essence. |
1.2700 |
0.05478 |
100 |
78 |
17 |
5 |
1760 |
Hold still because I need to get this done before you become extinct. |
1.2700 |
0.04894 |
100 |
75 |
23 |
2 |
1761 |
If you don't hold still I'll never finish. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1762 |
That's it! Would you mind sending the donkey in? |
1.2680 |
0.04973 |
97 |
73 |
22 |
2 |
1763 |
If your kid could do it better, why doesn't he do it. |
1.2680 |
0.04973 |
97 |
73 |
22 |
2 |
1764 |
For the sake of posterity, try to look a little more extinct. |
1.2680 |
0.05773 |
97 |
77 |
14 |
6 |
1765 |
Yes, I remember saying it wouldn't take long. |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1766 |
Stay still I’m trying to prevent you from becoming irrelephant! |
1.2680 |
0.05773 |
97 |
77 |
14 |
6 |
1767 |
And if you must know, baby elephants came from the sky. |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1768 |
Paint me like one of your French mammoths. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1769 |
No, I can’t remember you if you leave. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1770 |
I see myself as being more a man in a cave. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1771 |
Damn it, I said stay still! |
1.2680 |
0.05773 |
97 |
77 |
14 |
6 |
1772 |
Tusk, Tusk, Tusk! |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1773 |
Had a Woolly Mammoth in here yesterday...acted like there's no tomorrow. |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1774 |
Yes, I am glad we are both vegetarians. |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1775 |
Thank you for not charging. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1776 |
Hold still, your selfie's almost done. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1777 |
Define Neanderthal. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1778 |
Stand still! You'll thank me in 20,000 years. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1779 |
Someday, everyone will be putting pictures of their dinner on their wall. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1780 |
I need more feeling! |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1781 |
We'll put up your picture, write a short bio & see if you get any likes. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1782 |
Don't worry. I'm a master, Don. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1783 |
Why do all you guys want a bigger trunk? |
1.2680 |
0.05185 |
97 |
74 |
20 |
3 |
1784 |
This is how you could look after only 30 days on a Paleo diet |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1785 |
You blinked. I'll have to redo it. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1786 |
Of course not...You don't look fat |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1787 |
You're lucky I picked painting over the piano. |
1.2680 |
0.04973 |
97 |
73 |
22 |
2 |
1788 |
I'm calling it Mammoth byFirelight. |
1.2680 |
0.04521 |
97 |
71 |
26 |
0 |
1789 |
Yes, I know your tusks are your best feature. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1790 |
Hey, I hunted him, I ate him, I know what he looks like! |
1.2680 |
0.04973 |
97 |
73 |
22 |
2 |
1791 |
Sorry. This is the only sonogram covered by your insurance. |
1.2680 |
0.05956 |
97 |
78 |
12 |
7 |
1792 |
It's not graffiti! It's portraitture. |
1.2680 |
0.05388 |
97 |
75 |
18 |
4 |
1793 |
Try looking like your about to charge at me |
1.2680 |
0.05773 |
97 |
77 |
14 |
6 |
1794 |
When I'm finished, then you can draw me. |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1795 |
You may not think that it looks like you—but it will. |
1.2680 |
0.05773 |
97 |
77 |
14 |
6 |
1796 |
Back off, buddy. Can't you see I'm making a shopping list? |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1797 |
All done! Our special today is two 8 by 10's and 10 wallet sizes in the caves of your choice |
1.2680 |
0.05584 |
97 |
76 |
16 |
5 |
1798 |
Now that I have fire I can see I need to work on perspective |
1.2673 |
0.05610 |
101 |
80 |
15 |
6 |
1799 |
A neolithic experiment in life drawing ended tragically when the sitter lost patience and trampled the artist |
1.2653 |
0.04930 |
98 |
74 |
22 |
2 |
1800 |
It does too look like you, and ‘yes’ left-handed is a thing. |
1.2653 |
0.05533 |
98 |
77 |
16 |
5 |
1801 |
Hey, I'm an impressionist, not a realist. |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1802 |
Yes, I'm well aware that some people will consider it 'derivative'! |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1803 |
I can't focus with you in the room. |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1804 |
I told you, the cave adds ten pounds. |
1.2653 |
0.05533 |
98 |
77 |
16 |
5 |
1805 |
No, I haven't forgotten to draw your tusks . . . they just aren't as long as you think. |
1.2653 |
0.05901 |
98 |
79 |
12 |
7 |
1806 |
Stop thinking about climate change and smile! |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1807 |
How can I get a good picture if you keep closing your eyes? |
1.2653 |
0.05533 |
98 |
77 |
16 |
5 |
1808 |
Can you turn your tusks a little to the right please? |
1.2653 |
0.05533 |
98 |
77 |
16 |
5 |
1809 |
Great art never goes extinct. |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1810 |
I'll bring out your inner Mastodon. |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1811 |
What? It's abstrunk expressionism. |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1812 |
That's it! Give me sassy! Give me sexy! |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1813 |
Settle down, no need to rush -- it's not like you're going extinct. |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1814 |
Now bring in the donkey. |
1.2653 |
0.04712 |
98 |
73 |
24 |
1 |
1815 |
Remove the double chins and whiten the tusks. Anything else? |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1816 |
'Please hold still, it's only a matter of time before we're both extinct.' |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1817 |
Next! |
1.2653 |
0.05901 |
98 |
79 |
12 |
7 |
1818 |
Now pretend you are being attacked by a lion. |
1.2653 |
0.04930 |
98 |
74 |
22 |
2 |
1819 |
Ok, I get it. You will remember this long after I'm gone. Now can we just get on with it? |
1.2653 |
0.04712 |
98 |
73 |
24 |
1 |
1820 |
Is that REALLY how you want to be seen in 100,000 years? |
1.2653 |
0.05139 |
98 |
75 |
20 |
3 |
1821 |
I have invented cave painting. Now you can look young and handsome, forever. |
1.2653 |
0.04930 |
98 |
74 |
22 |
2 |
1822 |
The tusks? Let's just call them my fee for painting your portrait |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1823 |
This is going on your permanent record. |
1.2653 |
0.05340 |
98 |
76 |
18 |
4 |
1824 |
Can you make me woolier? |
1.2653 |
0.04930 |
98 |
74 |
22 |
2 |
1825 |
Relax, I'm an impressionist! |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1826 |
I'm trying to capture the illusive quality of your mysteriously coy smile. |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1827 |
Whaddya mean, that's not your good side? |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1828 |
No, seriously. How big do you want the tusks? |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1829 |
Hang on...I've still got to capture the room. |
1.2637 |
0.04901 |
91 |
68 |
22 |
1 |
1830 |
No! I already made your butt look smaller. I'm not going to make your tusks look bigger. |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1831 |
You're a little long in the tooth to be posing like that. |
1.2637 |
0.05144 |
91 |
69 |
20 |
2 |
1832 |
No. I won't make the ears smaller or give you less grey hair. |
1.2637 |
0.05144 |
91 |
69 |
20 |
2 |
1833 |
Everyone's a critic. |
1.2637 |
0.05376 |
91 |
70 |
18 |
3 |
1834 |
For now it's you. Eventually we'll call it the Party of Lincoln. |
1.2637 |
0.05144 |
91 |
69 |
20 |
2 |
1835 |
If you have to sneeze hold it in. I just learned how to make that. |
1.2637 |
0.05599 |
91 |
71 |
16 |
4 |
1836 |
I need an enigmatic smile. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1837 |
Enjoy that fire pal, because the Ice Age is coming...whatever that is. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1838 |
Of course it doesn't look like you. I'm an artist and you're a republican! |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1839 |
Okay. Slip on the bathrobe and we'll take a break. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1840 |
I can leave the tusks out if you want a less poach-worthy look. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1841 |
Perfect. An emoji for the ages! |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1842 |
No comments from the peanut gallery! |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1843 |
This is in case they don't find our time capsule. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1844 |
Sometimes I think the only way you'd stand still is if you were frozen in a block of ice. |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1845 |
We never agreed this should be life-sized. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1846 |
You said to make the nose a little smaller. Now, does THIS look like the guy who hit you? |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1847 |
Believe me, long-term you're better off without the tusks |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1848 |
You are big! It’s the caves that got small! |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1849 |
Mona Lisa you're not. So wipe that smile off your face. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1850 |
I'm done arguing.Cave light does not add a pound. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1851 |
I don't have time to argue with you. The saber tooth family is waiting and I'm on a deadline here. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1852 |
Two hundred thousand years from now they call it Photoshoping. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1853 |
If you don't stand still, I'm adding tons and tons of fur. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1854 |
No, your discounted price does not include a frame. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1855 |
Mmmm baby, work it, work it! Show the cave some love! |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1856 |
It’s not as big as you think it is |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1857 |
Try to look fierce. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1858 |
Damn it, SMILE! |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1859 |
a little less tusk! |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1860 |
No, you don't get paid extra for posing in the buff. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1861 |
This is mini you. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1862 |
I know you did mine by memory, but I'm just not there yet! |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1863 |
"I'd like to see you try it, Mister "I don't have thumbs". |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1864 |
It’s how I prefer to remember you. |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1865 |
If you stand still a little bit longer you'll be famous in 10,000 years. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1866 |
Can you do it again? I think I blinked. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1867 |
No—it doesn't make you look ten pounds heavier! |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1868 |
Hey, take it easy, ok?! I might be no DaVinci...but you are definitely NO 'Mona Lisa'... |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1869 |
You can send in the stick figures now. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1870 |
Prehistoric Pictionary |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1871 |
Stay still! I want to finish before you're extinct. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1872 |
Yes, I know it's not to scale. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1873 |
You want Cubism? We haven't even invented the wheel yet. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1874 |
Can we talk about the elephant in the room? |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1875 |
Stand still, you will go down in prehistory... |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1876 |
But the tusks are a part of you. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1877 |
The guys with the spears should be here soon. |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1878 |
I'll paint the tusks when I'm good and ready! |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1879 |
Stop blinking!! |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1880 |
Act a little more alive. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1881 |
Ceci n’est pas une mastodon. |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1882 |
Thighs are painted to proportion. I invented fire but I’m not a miracle worker. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1883 |
If you can't stand still there are plenty of pigs in Sulawesi who'll work for half the money. |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1884 |
No exceptions. Profiles only! |
1.2632 |
0.04542 |
95 |
70 |
25 |
0 |
1885 |
Calm down, I'll make your tusks look bigger. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1886 |
Yeah, you’re paying, but I paint it as I see it. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1887 |
What do you mean, you prefer your right profile? |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1888 |
This could be you after mid-terms. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1889 |
Smile |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1890 |
I haven't fucking finished yet!!! |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1891 |
You moved. Have to start over again. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1892 |
Could you smile please? |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1893 |
By the way, I’m hoping you can stay for dinner. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1894 |
Should we talk about the elephants in the room? |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1895 |
So you think you could do better, Mr. no opposable thumb? |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1896 |
I'm trying to show your good side. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1897 |
You'll get your peanuts after I'm finished, just like we agreed. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1898 |
Oh, for heaven's sake! Is everyone a critic? |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1899 |
Every time you move I have to start over. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1900 |
It's for your own safety. If I include the tusks, ivory hunters will be all over this place. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1901 |
How would you know what your ‘best side’ is? |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1902 |
It's art. It's minimalism. Deal with it. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1903 |
I was given a 10,000-year residency. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1904 |
No, truly, the underlight is very flattering! |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1905 |
Thank you for posing in the nude. |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1906 |
Hey, smile a little so some future anthropologist won't nickname you Wooly Bully. |
1.2632 |
0.05439 |
95 |
74 |
17 |
4 |
1907 |
Goose me again and I'll give you a tattoo you'll never forget! |
1.2632 |
0.06208 |
95 |
78 |
9 |
8 |
1908 |
No, I will not make your trunk look longer than it is. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1909 |
So what do you think of the paleolithic filter? |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1910 |
Let me draw you before you become extinct. |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1911 |
Don't worry, firelight is very forgiving. |
1.2632 |
0.05641 |
95 |
75 |
15 |
5 |
1912 |
What do you mean...it's too painterly? |
1.2632 |
0.05011 |
95 |
72 |
21 |
2 |
1913 |
Okat,...can you turn your trunk to the left and let's try it without the tusks. |
1.2632 |
0.05837 |
95 |
76 |
13 |
6 |
1914 |
Quit complaining, it's just the first draft. |
1.2632 |
0.05229 |
95 |
73 |
19 |
3 |
1915 |
I'm really more of an impressionist... |
1.2626 |
0.05292 |
99 |
77 |
18 |
4 |
1916 |
So, this is what you will look like without your tusks |
1.2626 |
0.04887 |
99 |
75 |
22 |
2 |
1917 |
Hang on, don't move, but...was that mouse there before? |
1.2626 |
0.05292 |
99 |
77 |
18 |
4 |
1918 |
What did you expect? I said I'm Paleo Picasso... not Pablo. |
1.2626 |
0.05094 |
99 |
76 |
20 |
3 |
1919 |
What do you mean "It's trademarked"? |
1.2626 |
0.05292 |
99 |
77 |
18 |
4 |
1920 |
Give me the brush. You did my trunk all wrong... |
1.2626 |
0.05483 |
99 |
78 |
16 |
5 |
1921 |
Of course, it's primitive look around. |
1.2626 |
0.05483 |
99 |
78 |
16 |
5 |
1922 |
But how will they know if it is completely accurate or not? By the time these caves are discovered, we will all be extinct. |
1.2626 |
0.05094 |
99 |
76 |
20 |
3 |
1923 |
It's stone on wall. We have to go to Grog's studio to do oil on canvas! |
1.2626 |
0.05094 |
99 |
76 |
20 |
3 |
1924 |
Oh, cute, maybe your snout would like to take the brush. |
1.2626 |
0.05483 |
99 |
78 |
16 |
5 |
1925 |
Kehinde Wiley got to paint President Obama, and me? I'm stuck here with the opposition party. |
1.2626 |
0.04887 |
99 |
75 |
22 |
2 |
1926 |
After ending Obamacare, stopping immigration, and defunding liberal colleges, the GOP turned its focus to its 2020 platform. |
1.2604 |
0.05182 |
96 |
74 |
19 |
3 |
1927 |
Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic. |
1.2604 |
0.05389 |
96 |
75 |
17 |
4 |
1928 |
Stop moving! I want to finish this before it gets really, really really cold. |
1.2604 |
0.04966 |
96 |
73 |
21 |
2 |
1929 |
Let’s pick this back up again tomorrow, I’m losing the good light. |
1.2604 |
0.05182 |
96 |
74 |
19 |
3 |
1930 |
The lighting in this studio sucks |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1931 |
I haven't had the tusk lesson yet. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1932 |
Don't move...this is for posterity. |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1933 |
Now let me see that enigmatic insouciance. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1934 |
If I leave your tusks off, they'll leave you alone! |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1935 |
This will be better than finding your fossils, trust me! |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1936 |
Oh yah, well I'd love to see you do any better, Mr. "I-Have-A-Process." |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1937 |
Yea I know I'm no Da Vinci. And in case you haven't noticed, you ain't no Mona Lisa either. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1938 |
Whoa! You weren't supposed to see this. |
1.2600 |
0.04845 |
100 |
76 |
22 |
2 |
1939 |
Let's see YOU do one that's better. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1940 |
I'm a minimalist big guy. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1941 |
Objects in shelter are closer than they appear. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1942 |
Do you even know what 'enigmatic' means? |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1943 |
Stand still! This will go down in history. |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1944 |
Now, just the tiniest little smile. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1945 |
Fred begins his Pachyderm blue period." |
1.2600 |
0.04845 |
100 |
76 |
22 |
2 |
1946 |
It's called photoshop. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1947 |
I think it's great that you decided to set up a profile. |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1948 |
Would you feel comfortable taking off your tusks? |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1949 |
Don't know why we're even bothering, nobody is going to care how long your trunk was come next week, never mind 4 million years from now |
1.2600 |
0.05245 |
100 |
78 |
18 |
4 |
1950 |
Stop saying “tsk, tsk.” I haven’t learned to paint them yet. |
1.2600 |
0.04632 |
100 |
75 |
24 |
1 |
1951 |
Trust me. For trunk pics, it'll look more mammoth if it's less wooly. |
1.2600 |
0.05794 |
100 |
81 |
12 |
7 |
1952 |
The tusks will be an extra two rocks. |
1.2600 |
0.05617 |
100 |
80 |
14 |
6 |
1953 |
You want to be PINK! |
1.2600 |
0.05049 |
100 |
77 |
20 |
3 |
1954 |
This is not an elephant |
1.2600 |
0.05435 |
100 |
79 |
16 |
5 |
1955 |
You're not fat, the petroglyph adds 20 pounds. |
1.2584 |
0.05656 |
89 |
70 |
15 |
4 |
1956 |
At least the modeling is over. |
1.2584 |
0.05185 |
89 |
68 |
19 |
2 |
1957 |
I hope he tastes better than he paints. |
1.2584 |
0.04933 |
89 |
67 |
21 |
1 |
1958 |
I don't have any peanuts in my budget, but I can pay you in exposure. |
1.2584 |
0.05426 |
89 |
69 |
17 |
3 |
1959 |
I can’t do this if you keep dropping your nose. |
1.2584 |
0.05656 |
89 |
70 |
15 |
4 |
1960 |
If you can’t stand still, people will think you were fatter then your descendants. |
1.2584 |
0.05426 |
89 |
69 |
17 |
3 |
1961 |
I'm tired of the "which is your better side" argument, and I'm not about to switch sides of the cave now. |
1.2584 |
0.04933 |
89 |
67 |
21 |
1 |
1962 |
Masta Don, I presume. |
1.2584 |
0.05185 |
89 |
68 |
19 |
2 |
1963 |
The donkey also wouldn't smile. |
1.2581 |
0.05492 |
93 |
73 |
16 |
4 |
1964 |
I’ll need you for the ceiling. |
1.2581 |
0.05492 |
93 |
73 |
16 |
4 |
1965 |
I’ll finish the portrait when you return from vacation. By the way, why did you choose La Brea? |
1.2581 |
0.05902 |
93 |
75 |
12 |
6 |
1966 |
Stop moving! I’m working on perspective. |
1.2581 |
0.05275 |
93 |
72 |
18 |
3 |
1967 |
Sorry, they say cave drawings add a few pounds. |
1.2574 |
0.05387 |
101 |
80 |
16 |
5 |
1968 |
THIS IS A GIRL MASTADON....YOU HAVE TO TREAT THEM DIFFERENT, DUMBO.... |
1.2574 |
0.05387 |
101 |
80 |
16 |
5 |
1969 |
I work for peanuts too. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1970 |
If you're not happy with this drawing, do it yourself! |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
1971 |
This size is only a representation; I know that you're mammoth. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
1972 |
Since you'll be the symbol of the Party that takes away protection against killing you and your family for parts or fun, let's leave out the tusks on this portrait.... okay? |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1973 |
This will evolve to an online class. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1974 |
Suddenly you're a damn art critic? |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1975 |
If I had a real light, I would have painted you on the ceiling. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1976 |
For a few bucks more I can add tusks and a longer trunk. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1977 |
OK, you want "Friends Only," ... what should I put down for your "Status?" |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1978 |
Take a break—I’m going to add the spears now. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
1979 |
I'm not making it anatomically correct. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
1980 |
Art's a long-term investment. Be patient. |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
1981 |
Is this your first time modelling nude? |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
1982 |
It's not my fault. The cave wall adds 100 pounds. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
1983 |
I just paint what I see — I can’t help it if you look mammoth! |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
1984 |
Don't worry, your official portrait will be done on something more long-lasting. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1985 |
Okay, now show me demure. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1986 |
I swear, if this one doesn't sell I'm cutting off an ear! |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1987 |
No! Turn to the side--perspective hasn't been invented yet. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1988 |
You want perfection, buy a camera! |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
1989 |
What do you mean, you’re uncomfortable posing nude? |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1990 |
That is your good tusk! |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1991 |
I know Ralph. You want urbane, dignified and conservative. But I'm seeing sexy with tones of flamboyance and risqué. Think Chris Christy. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1992 |
I usually don’t do nudes |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1993 |
Could you turn your head just a little to the right? |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
1994 |
Look, the mammoth I had in here last week didn't ask for a SINGLE break during his entire hour-long session. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
1995 |
You’ve got good bones. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
1996 |
Too literal? |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
1997 |
Hope you like it. I went a little less "mammoth" and a little more "woolly". |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1998 |
Hold still. We don’t want future humans thinking you’re wooly. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
1999 |
The cave wall always adds ten pounds. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2000 |
If you don't stand still, I'm adding 500 pounds. |
1.2556 |
0.06233 |
90 |
74 |
9 |
7 |
2001 |
It's a new invention of mine. It's called fire. Why? |
1.2556 |
0.06430 |
90 |
75 |
7 |
8 |
2002 |
Quit moving! I'd like to finish this before you become extinct. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2003 |
What did you expect? You're paying me peanuts! |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2004 |
Guess again. Its not a mouse |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2005 |
One more time with the tusks and I won’t put them in! |
1.2556 |
0.06430 |
90 |
75 |
7 |
8 |
2006 |
It’s your good side. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2007 |
In my opinion, Botox is not going to do it. You need some extreme Rhinoplasty. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2008 |
Should I paint a spaceship next to you, just to mess with the folks who discover me in 50,000 years? |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2009 |
What do you mean I'm creating unrealistic standards? We always take out your wrinkles post-production. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2010 |
I know it doesn't look like you, but it will. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2011 |
Five more minutes and I'll toast the marshmallows! |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2012 |
Try to look less posed. |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
2013 |
I'm trying to make you look younger. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2014 |
Probably not. More than likely they'll call it, 'The elephant in the Cave'. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2015 |
Keep your trunk up....I am not finished.... |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2016 |
It gives me goosebumps to think that people from a future generation will build their entire careers around studying my drawings. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2017 |
I'm gonna leave the tusks off...they just make you look older. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2018 |
You do to look like that! |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2019 |
No, I will not make your trunk look longer for posterity! (Italicize the word "not") |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2020 |
I'm not making you look fat. You ARE fat. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2021 |
It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2022 |
I can't do hair. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2023 |
I need my artwork to be seen as historic, not so much pre-historic. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2024 |
Steve, the volcanos are erupting. I think there are more important things to worry about than whether or not my trunk is too big in your drawing. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2025 |
I know your trunk is bigger, its called artistic expression! |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2026 |
Want me to make you a unicorn? |
1.2556 |
0.06233 |
90 |
74 |
9 |
7 |
2027 |
Ok, I can't do this if you keep moving. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2028 |
His critics were savage. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2029 |
Oh, don't be so shy. I promise nobody else will ever see this. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2030 |
Wipe that smile off your . . . no, wait! |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2031 |
Can you try to look more extinct ? |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2032 |
If I include those teeth, it's going to really mess with whoever finds my drawings |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2033 |
Well if you think it stinks, you draw it! |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2034 |
C'mon...lift up your trunk a little...I promise, no one's gonna see these.... |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2035 |
Be sure you get my good side |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2036 |
Is it too much to ask you to look more "enigmatic"? |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2037 |
Don't worry, no one will see this. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2038 |
I'm a mimilist impressionist. I'm not worried about the size of your tusks. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2039 |
OK, I'll make your trunk longer. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2040 |
Hold still. I need to finish your portrait before you become extinct. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2041 |
Trust me, after the flood you’ll be glad we took the time. |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2042 |
C'mon baby! Work it! |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2043 |
Lighten up. I said it's a "distinct" likeness, not an"extinct" likeness. |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
2044 |
Objects on cave wall are closer than they appear. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2045 |
Lighten up, will you? 40,000 years from now, nobody will care! |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2046 |
You all think your trunk is larger than life. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2047 |
Stand still, pretend you are happy, this is what selfies are made of. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2048 |
No, I own the copyright but you’ll receive 40% of all sales. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2049 |
Stop complaining...doing your portrait is a mammoth undertaking. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2050 |
It’s called artistic integrity. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2051 |
Sorry but that's how I imagine you in the nude. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2052 |
No! I won't make your trunk look bigger. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2053 |
Sure, we would all like to lose a few pounds, but I’m telling you Paleo is a fad. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2054 |
Can you strike a slightly more enigmatic expression? |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2055 |
I don't like it. Rub it out and start over. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2056 |
Yes, I did not forget what you said at the last critique. You act like you are the only one with a memory. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2057 |
It's very disappointing that there's no new cartoon this week; could you please at least acknowledge when that's not happening and publish the date we can expect the next one? Thank you very much! |
1.2556 |
0.06430 |
90 |
75 |
7 |
8 |
2058 |
...a little less tooth on that smile... |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2059 |
Hold still. You will soon be extinct. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2060 |
All right,already! I'll take off a few pounds. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2061 |
THAT'S what you think I look like?! |
1.2556 |
0.04886 |
90 |
68 |
21 |
1 |
2062 |
Next week on Lascaux's Next Top Model... |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2063 |
Staying warm indoors during the Pleistocene era, by playing the earliest-recorded game of Pictionary. |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2064 |
Tusks are extra. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2065 |
I pay you peanuts because you're an elephant, not because you're my muse. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2066 |
They might or might not find your bones, but there's a much better chance this painting could show up thousands of years from now and give you your itty-bitty shot at immortality. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2067 |
I am telling you for the last time size does not matter. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2068 |
I am not going to keep making your trunk longer! |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2069 |
I'm tring to immortalize you here, stop fidgeting... |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2070 |
All right, already. I know it doesn't look exactly like you. It's modern art. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2071 |
I'm calling this series "National Geographic." |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2072 |
And this lighter area down the front will make your nose look less...bulky. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2073 |
Stop fretting, the cave wall adds ten pounds |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2074 |
With a longer handle to this brush I could come over there and paint a selfie. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2075 |
After the orthodontist deals with those tusks, this is what you’ll look like |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2076 |
No, I do not think this makes you look fat. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2077 |
Art history lessons at Lascaux: "Ceci n'est pas un mastodonte." |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2078 |
Ok, fine. I’ll give you hair. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2079 |
Are you wedded to that "tusked" look? |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2080 |
I’ll include a caption when you invent writing. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2081 |
Is it E before I or I before E? |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2082 |
I cannot do those tusks justice. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2083 |
Well, what else did you expect? You knew I was a Primitivist when you hired me to do your portrait. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2084 |
They will not think that your trunk was six inches long. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2085 |
You think it makes you look fat? |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2086 |
I told you.You have no 'best' side. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2087 |
Could you turn a little to the left? |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2088 |
Oh you know what they say, the cave wall always adds 1,000 pounds. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2089 |
You don't have a 'good' side! |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2090 |
Don't worry, primitivism is all the rage. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2091 |
I don’t care if you’re a Democrat. Just sign the release. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2092 |
Of course it's a representation. No, your ass is not fat. Quit fidgeting. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2093 |
If you don't stand still, this is going to look pretty amateurish. |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2094 |
Don't forget, this is how you'll be remembered. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2095 |
No, I did not make your nose too big. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2096 |
I keep telling you, I understand scale. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2097 |
I said, “I’ll draw the elephant in the room.” Not “I’ll address the elephant in the room.” |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2098 |
Should I put a foot note that says "not to scale?" |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2099 |
You're an elephant. Remember that. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2100 |
He looked just like you, but had no hair, and he said he was called an elephant. I said i'd never heard of such a ridiculous . |
1.2556 |
0.04623 |
90 |
67 |
23 |
0 |
2101 |
Yeah.. now how about a half-smile? |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2102 |
Don't worry. You'll look mammoth when I'm finished. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2103 |
OK, so you're no Mona Lisa and I'm no da Vinci. Let's just finish this. |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2104 |
Don’t give that ‘art is extinct’ mammoth shit. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2105 |
It seems too conservative. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2106 |
Don’t give that ‘art is extinct’ mammoth shit. |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2107 |
Don’t give that look—your trunk is that big |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2108 |
What do you mean it lacks perspective? Flat is good. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2109 |
This ain’t National Geographic, it’s for The Daily Beast. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2110 |
Will you please stop blinking? |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2111 |
(Caveman) What do you mean there's something a little wrong with the trunk? |
1.2556 |
0.06030 |
90 |
73 |
11 |
6 |
2112 |
You are "The elephant in the room." |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2113 |
Now, could you give me a full profile and lower those tusks just a bit? |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2114 |
Paint me like one of your cave girls |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2115 |
What do you mean, I make you look fat? |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2116 |
I'm aiming for The Met but I'll settle for Natural History. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2117 |
Now, don't move!! |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2118 |
Marta, get the scoop. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2119 |
Why not? Bison paintings are so cliché. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2120 |
Good, just move your head a little to the right. |
1.2556 |
0.05135 |
90 |
69 |
19 |
2 |
2121 |
One more time, turn to the right so that I can capture the firelight glistening off your tusks. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2122 |
When I’m finished, I think I’ll name it after myself, “Master Don”. |
1.2556 |
0.05373 |
90 |
70 |
17 |
3 |
2123 |
Hold still! Just because your species can draw from memory doesn't mean the rest of us can! |
1.2556 |
0.05819 |
90 |
72 |
13 |
5 |
2124 |
The one you did of me was MUCH tinier. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2125 |
Hard to believe, Jumbo, but I’ve known you since you were this high. |
1.2556 |
0.04623 |
90 |
67 |
23 |
0 |
2126 |
A little bit of a smile would be helpful. |
1.2556 |
0.05600 |
90 |
71 |
15 |
4 |
2127 |
Just think, Some Day Your Relatives Will be led in circles and work for peanuts. |
1.2553 |
0.05226 |
94 |
73 |
18 |
3 |
2128 |
Look alive. |
1.2551 |
0.04426 |
98 |
73 |
25 |
0 |
2129 |
People will be admiring this for centuries |
1.2529 |
0.04687 |
87 |
65 |
22 |
0 |
2130 |
The censors don't care whether or not it is flaccid. |
1.2529 |
0.05226 |
87 |
67 |
18 |
2 |
2131 |
No, I'm pretty sure you did move. |
1.2527 |
0.05086 |
91 |
70 |
19 |
2 |
2132 |
Don't worry, the carving adds ten pounds |
1.2527 |
0.04840 |
91 |
69 |
21 |
1 |
2133 |
Because wallpaper hasn't been invented yet. |
1.2527 |
0.05762 |
91 |
73 |
13 |
5 |
2134 |
Grog use cave wall - assure your privacy. |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2135 |
And you drew me with a huge forehead, so now we're even. |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2136 |
Don't make my tusks look fat |
1.2527 |
0.05086 |
91 |
70 |
19 |
2 |
2137 |
I am not trying to make you look fat. |
1.2527 |
0.05762 |
91 |
73 |
13 |
5 |
2138 |
I am just doing your good side. |
1.2527 |
0.05086 |
91 |
70 |
19 |
2 |
2139 |
Let me see you do better. |
1.2527 |
0.05086 |
91 |
70 |
19 |
2 |
2140 |
Hold on. I think I've captured your essence. |
1.2527 |
0.05321 |
91 |
71 |
17 |
3 |
2141 |
Can I get you to make my ears smaller? |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2142 |
In the old days, you guys were wilder and woolier. |
1.2527 |
0.05762 |
91 |
73 |
13 |
5 |
2143 |
It's a cartoon. |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2144 |
No! I'm not going to draw it longer just to impress someone 500 years from now. |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2145 |
It's not your spirit animal. It's mine. |
1.2527 |
0.05546 |
91 |
72 |
15 |
4 |
2146 |
This is for posterity, so give me an enigmatic smile. |
1.2527 |
0.05762 |
91 |
73 |
13 |
5 |
2147 |
Me write pithy caption now! |
1.2527 |
0.05762 |
91 |
73 |
13 |
5 |
2148 |
I know you won’t forget, but I will. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2149 |
It wouldn't hurt if you showed less tusk. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2150 |
First man who took picture of his meal. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2151 |
Stop complaining. It is a painting, not a photograph. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2152 |
Keep the tusks up. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2153 |
And now I am going to depict my life struggles |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2154 |
This is just your temporary ID. Your permanent ID will arrive in about 30,000 to 40,000 years. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2155 |
You know the wall paint adds 10lbs. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2156 |
I'm an Impressionist. You don't like it, find someone with an IPhone. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2157 |
Hey, no evolving! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2158 |
I hope it's not too "hunter-gatherer" |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2159 |
I'm a caveman - what do you expect? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2160 |
Watch and learn. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2161 |
Don't be upset, Petroglyphs add at least 15 lbs |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2162 |
Hold still, please. Right after fire, we're inventing art. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2163 |
Hold still or they'll think you're a mammoth. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2164 |
Some day you’ll be famous. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2165 |
They say the cave adds 10lbs |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2166 |
You're paying in ivory, right? |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2167 |
When I'm dead this will be worth a lot. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2168 |
How do you keep those things up? |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2169 |
hold still, I’m not going to be here forever. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2170 |
I brought you in from the cold. The least you can do is hold still while I get the tusks right. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2171 |
If you want to be remembered as you are, don't move! |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2172 |
No, I don’t think that it makes you look fat. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2173 |
It is your thin side! |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2174 |
No I CAN'T make it any bigger |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2175 |
I want to tell everyone who did all the pooping in here. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2176 |
Don't worry, I have Photoshop. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2177 |
Well then fine! Ochre it is! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2178 |
Hold still. I'm not good at tusks. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2179 |
No, you don't get paid 'til it's done. |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2180 |
No looking till it’s finished! |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2181 |
Turn a bit further to the right, and hold it. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2182 |
What's wrong now? You said you wanted me to make you look younger. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2183 |
A switch to my paleo diet would help you shed those extra pounds. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2184 |
If this turns out blurry, that's your fault! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2185 |
And then you promise I'll have my cave back? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2186 |
I swear, you are the only elephant I have ever invited up to my studio |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2187 |
I'll call it 'The elephant in the room' and see if that flies. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2188 |
You want tusks how big? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2189 |
Ogg called it primitive. I say it's representational! |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2190 |
For the last time: the tusks go on when you stop blowing out that fire! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2191 |
I needn't ask who forgot to take his Viagra this morning. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2192 |
Of course you were cuter then, but now you’re beautiful. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2193 |
But you DO have a week chin. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2194 |
I said give me more mammoth, not mastodon. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2195 |
Alright, but you're dating yourself. Tusks have been done and done. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2196 |
I am done with you. Go find some guys with spears now. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2197 |
Normally, I try to avoid cliches. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2198 |
For the last time, I am NOT drawing that to scale. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2199 |
You look less woolly in person. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2200 |
Some day you will appear on the cover of The New Yorker! |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2201 |
You keep furling that trunk, we’re gonna be here all day. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2202 |
It's called realism. Get used to it. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2203 |
A little more to the right. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2204 |
Ceci n'est pas un elephant. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2205 |
Come on, you know the brush adds five tons. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2206 |
Ganesh, one day they will all worship you |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2207 |
Stand Still. Be fossilized. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2208 |
It's not small. It's mammoth! |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2209 |
Don't worry, everybody knows that size doesn't matter. |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2210 |
You were supposed to roast the marshmallows! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2211 |
Sorry, Impressionism hasn't been invented yet. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2212 |
It's not supposed to be realistic. I'm a Pre-Impressionist. |
1.2500 |
0.06312 |
88 |
73 |
8 |
7 |
2213 |
Can you make my tusks look longer? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2214 |
You didn't get my good side. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2215 |
No, I won't make your tusks look longer. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2216 |
I don’t usually use an agency model but this is going to be a painting for the ages |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2217 |
Relax. Don't be so self-conscience. Your ears look fine. In a millenia they'll be ten times the size. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2218 |
Hold still, no one has tried this before. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2219 |
Hey, shutup, its prehistoric, not postmodern! Everybody's a critic! Geesh! |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2220 |
You can't be Kilroy because I want to be Kilroy |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2221 |
So, are you going to remember all this? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2222 |
it was suppose to be a surprise |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2223 |
I'm gonna make you a unicorn. I'm not good at drawing horns. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2224 |
No, darling. It’s all wrong. Rethink it. Less tusk. More trunk. And lose the gum. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2225 |
Yes it's small, but that will make your tusks look bigger. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2226 |
I can give you a full head of hair and make your tusks look HUGE if you’ll help move some lumber later... |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2227 |
Don't you start with your trumpeting. It's a new trend called minimalism. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2228 |
I know you’re upset about climate change. But come on, It’s almost done. Trunk up! |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2229 |
If I make you look any thinner, you won't be an elephant anymore. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2230 |
Because it’s how I see you—that’s why. Now hold still. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2231 |
Don't worry. The zebra will be smaller. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2232 |
It is your good side. No one will ever see it anyway. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2233 |
Plato's gonna love this... |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2234 |
What! Timmy's in the well?! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2235 |
Some day you are going to be able to say you had your portrait done by the man that discovered fire |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2236 |
Listen, you’re only here because it was hard to come by flowers, fruits, and a pretty vase. So get with the program! |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2237 |
. . . so I won't forget. |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2238 |
Well, preliterate publications have described my art as quintessentially "Upper Paleolithic." |
1.2500 |
0.04642 |
88 |
66 |
22 |
0 |
2239 |
It's called Evolution...from you, to this, to.....Donald Trump?! Maybe you should seriously consider Extinction! |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2240 |
I will be done a lot sooner if you stop trying to blow out the fire. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2241 |
Move again and you’re extinct. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2242 |
So you made the fire. Big deal. This will be in the March 5th issue of The New Yorker! |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2243 |
Look, everyone knows the cave wall adds 10 pounds. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2244 |
No, I won't give her bigger boobs just this once. |
1.2500 |
0.04539 |
92 |
69 |
23 |
0 |
2245 |
I know there’s more to you than this but do you really think that 20000 years from now they’re gonna notice that I didn’t actually capture your true essence? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2246 |
im going to refer to this as art, after you,Art. so stay still, and you will be famous. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2247 |
Yes, it's you. That's how you look. Go away. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2248 |
Yes, this is the living room - why do you ask? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2249 |
You’re an elephant, I’m an artist......I guess we both work for peanuts. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2250 |
No, I will not make your nose smaller. Without artistic Integrity, I have nothing. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2251 |
Sorry, can't make it any faster with this selfie stick. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2252 |
Your smile is always the hardest part to capture. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2253 |
Stop complaining, I'm doing the best I can. Besides, no one else will ever see it. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2254 |
Why on earth would you want a rainbow coming out of your trunk? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2255 |
I think it's flattering. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2256 |
I decided to make you look younger. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2257 |
I need them for the piano! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2258 |
Early man struggles with the short narrative. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2259 |
Don’t quit your day job. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2260 |
Ok, now go out there and let’s do better in the second half! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2261 |
No, I don’t think it makes you look hippy at all! |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2262 |
Quit squirming, we're losing the light! |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2263 |
It will be worth millions in years to come. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2264 |
Smile! and just remember---this is for the ages! |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2265 |
OK ... I will make your trunk longer. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2266 |
So the tusks are too short. It's art. Get over it. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2267 |
It’s the *idea* of you I’m after! |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2268 |
My rendering of the elephant in the room. Pretty good considering I don't see you... |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2269 |
Any slower, and I'll evolve. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2270 |
I know it's the bronze age but I still dabble in the Paleolithic style. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2271 |
It's an homage. |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2272 |
You'll survive longer if they think you have no tusk. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2273 |
This would be a lot cuter if you wore that adorable sweater I knitted for you. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2274 |
Not so, if I wanted all the credit I'd draw a picture of the hot sticks I made. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2275 |
Keep still and I´ll put in a good word for you at our next hunt. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2276 |
Its called neo-neolithic, actually. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2277 |
No, you're not my first. Have you heard of Mammoth Lisa? |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2278 |
I’m calling it, ‘Mastodon in the Nude’ . |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2279 |
Well you weren't very generous drawing my trunk either. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2280 |
My in-laws are coming over, I thought it would be appropriate to have an elephant in the room. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2281 |
Extinction takes off ten years. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2282 |
You're my first plus-size model. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2283 |
I should have gone with the bowl of fruit. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2284 |
I'm not going for realism, ok? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2285 |
How do you spell your last name? |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2286 |
It's called artistic interpretation, not fake news. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2287 |
Move again and no peanuts! |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2288 |
Before I finish this portrait, can we please address the elephant in the room? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2289 |
I charge extra for family portraits. |
1.2500 |
0.05492 |
92 |
73 |
15 |
4 |
2290 |
Quit bellowing --it's either draw you or eat you. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2291 |
Hold still--I won't be able to get this when you're extinct. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2292 |
It's not like leaving off the tusks makes you any thinner. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2293 |
This is why I can't play Pictionary with you... a peanut... really?!? |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2294 |
Your party's policies seem backward to me. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2295 |
"I'm calling it 'Woolly Mammoth'. 'Mastodon' doesn't capture your 'joie de vivre'". |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2296 |
Hold still! This is your last chance for immortality! |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2297 |
Yes, if I had a better memory you wouldn't have to be here. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2298 |
Yeah, yeah, everyone’s a critic. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2299 |
How about a little less Woolly and a little more Mammoth? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2300 |
C'mon! I did what you asked and made your trunk and backside look smaller...So why still the poopie face?! |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2301 |
It's called fire and it really brings out the color in your eyes. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2302 |
You're not as wooly as I remember. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2303 |
I don't care if you suffer from TD, get that trunk up. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2304 |
Remember, please, this image is for the ages! |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2305 |
If you must know, Gary, I’m working on my novel. |
1.2500 |
0.06101 |
88 |
72 |
10 |
6 |
2306 |
Whadda' you mean slimmer? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2307 |
I don't look that fat |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2308 |
I agreed to the nude, not to the life sized. |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2309 |
I want you to draw me like one of your Lascaux girls, Jarg |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2310 |
Donald and a Little Marco, The Prequel |
1.2500 |
0.04916 |
88 |
67 |
20 |
1 |
2311 |
Representation is a defence against the Real. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2312 |
What do you mean, "Draw me like your French mammoths"? |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2313 |
It's big enough! That's just an urban legend anyway. |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2314 |
Yes, I realize that you don't pose for mere peanuts.... |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2315 |
"Of course it doesn't look like you. I'm a Primitivist". |
1.2500 |
0.06312 |
88 |
73 |
8 |
7 |
2316 |
I'm not including the ivory tusks because those are no longer considered art -- it's a long story. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2317 |
,Why can't you keep it up? |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2318 |
If you can't hold still there will be no walk through the tar pits. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2319 |
The cave wall adds a couple of pounds |
1.2500 |
0.05421 |
88 |
69 |
16 |
3 |
2320 |
You know what they say, 'Cave painting or it didn't happen.' |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2321 |
Man, is that really what I look like? |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2322 |
The Republicans need a logo. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2323 |
Really? I look like an ant eater! |
1.2500 |
0.05492 |
92 |
73 |
15 |
4 |
2324 |
They're saying my art is just too B.C. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2325 |
It's called the unspeakable truth. |
1.2500 |
0.05175 |
88 |
68 |
18 |
2 |
2326 |
Almost done, just putting on the final tusks. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2327 |
Quit moving or I'll invent the still life. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2328 |
The LasCaux's think their spotted horse is so great. You're going to be mammoth. |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2329 |
This is my perspective. |
1.2500 |
0.04642 |
88 |
66 |
22 |
0 |
2330 |
Well, it’s like Groucho said, ‘In Alabama, the tusks are looser.’ |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2331 |
The paintbrush adds 100 pounds |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2332 |
You're not fat, the wall adds 10 pounds |
1.2500 |
0.05657 |
88 |
70 |
14 |
4 |
2333 |
This is my early work. |
1.2500 |
0.05883 |
88 |
71 |
12 |
5 |
2334 |
I can never get the tusks right. |
1.2500 |
0.04642 |
88 |
66 |
22 |
0 |
2335 |
Relax. I can photoshop it. |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2336 |
What? I'm drawing you! |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2337 |
That's how big you think my ass is? |
1.2472 |
0.05824 |
89 |
72 |
12 |
5 |
2338 |
Now, a little smile. |
1.2472 |
0.06039 |
89 |
73 |
10 |
6 |
2339 |
I'm giving it a modernist feel. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2340 |
The day will come when we will surpass primitive art! A great artist will actually depict a tomato soup can! |
1.2472 |
0.05824 |
89 |
72 |
12 |
5 |
2341 |
You DON'T look fat. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2342 |
I did NOT draw you fat. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2343 |
I'll try my best to keep you to scale. |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2344 |
Okay, I drew it shorter, but I still think you're being oversensitive about the length of your nose. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2345 |
I don't know what to tell you, I drew it proportional to your body. |
1.2472 |
0.05600 |
89 |
71 |
14 |
4 |
2346 |
Hold still. This 'll be one for the ages. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2347 |
The glacier will keep, just hold still. |
1.2472 |
0.04868 |
89 |
68 |
20 |
1 |
2348 |
er....because the tusks make you look fat. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2349 |
This is for posterity. What do you mean you don't remember? |
1.2472 |
0.04868 |
89 |
68 |
20 |
1 |
2350 |
Don't criticize until I'm done. I've captured wooly mammoths, reindeer, bulls, and handprints like no one else. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2351 |
No, they won't. But they won't really know who the model for the Mona Lisa is either. |
1.2472 |
0.04868 |
89 |
68 |
20 |
1 |
2352 |
No, I'm not going to "enhance your assets" for the drawing! |
1.2472 |
0.05600 |
89 |
71 |
14 |
4 |
2353 |
....just try to smile in a more enigmatic way |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2354 |
Is that the mate you are looking for? |
1.2472 |
0.05600 |
89 |
71 |
14 |
4 |
2355 |
Models of your talent are nearly extinct. |
1.2472 |
0.05824 |
89 |
72 |
12 |
5 |
2356 |
I never said I was a realist. |
1.2472 |
0.05824 |
89 |
72 |
12 |
5 |
2357 |
Damn! Lighting is too warm. |
1.2472 |
0.04868 |
89 |
68 |
20 |
1 |
2358 |
It's prepostmodern. |
1.2472 |
0.06039 |
89 |
73 |
10 |
6 |
2359 |
I prefer naturalism. Modernism is a fad and we'll be here long after that's extinct. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2360 |
My parents are still disappointed I didn't become a mammoth hunter. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2361 |
Do you think it looks primitive enough? |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2362 |
Shorter? But it gives you such character! |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2363 |
Don't worry, this will get tons of likes. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2364 |
Quarter turn to your right, please. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2365 |
It does look an awful lot like the perp, but to be honest, we all look exactly the same. |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2366 |
Because elephants don't play poker, that's why! |
1.2472 |
0.05124 |
89 |
69 |
18 |
2 |
2367 |
You never forget, yeah. How many times do I have to tell you to keep facing left |
1.2472 |
0.05600 |
89 |
71 |
14 |
4 |
2368 |
Of course it doesn't do you justice. I'm a modernist. |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2369 |
I am sorry but I need to leave space for others |
1.2472 |
0.05367 |
89 |
70 |
16 |
3 |
2370 |
look, you wanted this |
1.2471 |
0.04706 |
85 |
64 |
21 |
0 |
2371 |
I didn’t want the focus to be on your trunktile disfunction. |
1.2471 |
0.05775 |
85 |
68 |
13 |
4 |
2372 |
If you looked like this maybe I'd fuck you once in a while! |
1.2444 |
0.05978 |
90 |
74 |
10 |
6 |
2373 |
That looks nothing like me. |
1.2444 |
0.05544 |
90 |
72 |
14 |
4 |
2374 |
Sorry, the cave wall adds ten pounds... |
1.2444 |
0.05074 |
90 |
70 |
18 |
2 |
2375 |
Ok, now hold your tusks erect but relaxed... |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2376 |
That’s because you ARE naked!” |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2377 |
You get the idea |
1.2442 |
0.06175 |
86 |
71 |
9 |
6 |
2378 |
Stay still or I'll have to invent the eraser! |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2379 |
Trust me. It's accurate. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2380 |
I'm telling you, Martha, the glow of the firelight will take ten years off of your face. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2381 |
I know it’s a little avant garde today but I think it will really get recognized in the next ice age. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2382 |
I am NOT fat-shaming you! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2383 |
It's called Impressionism, OK, so now hold still |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2384 |
I know it's not realistic. That's why I call it Impressionism. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2385 |
It's not exactly the enigmatic smile that I was looking for. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2386 |
Of course it looks like a potato. You look like a potato. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2387 |
In case you forget. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2388 |
You really need to go see the Mastodonist. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2389 |
It is you when your trunk didn't need viagra. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2390 |
I'm into painting and gathering |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2391 |
But on inside, Ug had passion for fine art. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2392 |
And don’t you forget! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2393 |
See? It looks stupid when I paint your trunk short. |
1.2442 |
0.04660 |
86 |
65 |
21 |
0 |
2394 |
You want to be remembered, don't you? |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2395 |
Yes you do have a big nose Live with it! |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2396 |
I think I captured the depth of your existential dread. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2397 |
It's your better side. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2398 |
Longer horns? Sure, it's not like it's carved in stone. |
1.2442 |
0.06175 |
86 |
71 |
9 |
6 |
2399 |
It's got to be a nude, it's for Playmammoth Magazine. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2400 |
I'm hoping to be discovered soon. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2401 |
Where have you been for the the past three years? You’ve gained about two tons. I’ll have to start over. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2402 |
I hate this as much as you do, but please stand still. They say someday I'll be discovered. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2403 |
Stand still while I paint the Mammath Lisa. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2404 |
I guess we’ll see in a million years if you’re actually big-boned. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2405 |
It does not make you look fat, and besides, no one will ever see this. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2406 |
Are you sure she was wearing figure skates? |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2407 |
As with many great artists, Zog’s masterpieces were met with indifference by audiences of the era. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2408 |
Don't worry about the action scenes; we'll bring in a double. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2409 |
Damn it, Mona, would a slight grin kill you? |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2410 |
See, this is the way I want your trunk to be -- straight out in front! And the tusks down, if you can do that. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2411 |
Yes, that is what you look like. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2412 |
Calm down. The big nose doesn't make you look fat. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2413 |
Now hold still, I can only do this once. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2414 |
I meant if you go extinct! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2415 |
Could you look more prehistoric? |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2416 |
Yesterday I invented art. Today I invented artistic license, so I can draw you looking scared if I want to. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2417 |
You'll never forget this. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2418 |
The wall really adds ten pounds |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2419 |
For the last time, only the model gets naked! |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2420 |
NOW you tell me that's not your best side. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2421 |
You may not know this, but in a few years this moment will literally be frozen in time. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2422 |
Oh yeah? Well I might not be 'a cave-painter de Vinci,' but you're for sure no damn Mona Lisa! |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2423 |
No, I can't make you look 'less grey'. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2424 |
And that's how babies are made.... or you will become extint |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2425 |
Cool it! I'm not going to make you look fat. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2426 |
What do you mean it looks nothing like you? |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2427 |
Impressionism. It's called Impressionism. You want Realism, you'll have to wait 12,000 years. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2428 |
Some say my depictions are primitive. But I see my work as having elements of modernist abstraction. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2429 |
I'm having a retrospective at the Museum of Natural History |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2430 |
No, you don't look a little "long in the tooth". |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2431 |
Wendel, I found us a home, made it warm, decorated it nicely. So what if I am wearing your mother? |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2432 |
Hey, your five minute break's over. Get that trunk back up! |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2433 |
Next I draw the island, add a tree, come up with a funny caption, and we’re done! |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2434 |
Yes, your nose really is that big. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2435 |
No, I'm not Michelangelo. I prefer to think of myself as Picasso in his primitive phase. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2436 |
No you're not... the campfire adds ten pounds. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2437 |
Can you please tell your party to stop cuting funding for the arts? |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2438 |
Listen big shot, long after you are extinct, they will revere me and my miniatures. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2439 |
This is you. Look at me. Do you see the problem? |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2440 |
I guarantee, you will be remembered as a great beauty. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2441 |
Baby, baby, not so jocund; give Daddy that inscrutable smile one more time. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2442 |
Stop smirking, just because you're evolved doesn't make you special. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2443 |
And in a few days, you can swipe your trunk left for a new female profile. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2444 |
I know I haven't said much but I can't stop thinking about the fact that there is the elephant in my room. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2445 |
The original Fox News. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2446 |
10,000 years from now they'll call it a masterpiece |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2447 |
I know it's crude. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2448 |
I'm not certain that I can capture your true essence. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2449 |
I have told you a M times, quit swaying around! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2450 |
If you must know, any resemblance to actual mastodons, living or dead, is coincidental. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2451 |
I'm going to paint you like one of those French woolly mammoths. |
1.2442 |
0.06175 |
86 |
71 |
9 |
6 |
2452 |
Don’t blame me. The limestone adds ten pounds. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2453 |
.. ok, ok, I’m not gonna make you look too toothy! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2454 |
So as far as you recall this is who squirted the water at you. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2455 |
Finding you a mate is gonna take forever if you keep swiping left. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2456 |
It's called "The elephant in the cave" i'm gonna feature it in my next trunk show. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2457 |
I know it's not an exact likeness, but art is supposed to capture the subject's essence, not its superficialities. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2458 |
The fire adds ten pounds. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2459 |
I only paint what I see, so yes, this is what you really look like. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2460 |
Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French Mammoths. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2461 |
No, art does not have to be life-size! |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2462 |
The Democrats picked a WHAT? |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2463 |
No, I haven't been to Lascaux. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2464 |
You know what's really wild? A troglodyte. Or, at least, their girlfriends are. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2465 |
You forgot again, trunk up... up! |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2466 |
I'm looking for more intensity |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2467 |
And you're no Michelle Obama. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2468 |
Sure, take all the time you need to draw me. It's not like the Pleistocene epoch is ending tomorrow. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2469 |
You go around the left side,I throw the ball to you and you take it in for a touchdown.We win. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2470 |
What do you mean, the style feels dated?! |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2471 |
This was your Mom, before we ate her! |
1.2442 |
0.06175 |
86 |
71 |
9 |
6 |
2472 |
I realize I’m no Picasso, but you’re no Ivanka Trunk. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2473 |
You moved again. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2474 |
This is becoming a mammoth undertaking. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2475 |
Stop smirking. This is your chance for immortality. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2476 |
As a starving artist, I can relate to getting paid peanuts for your work. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2477 |
Oh don't be so self-conscious, they say that the cavestone adds 250 pounds. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2478 |
Sorry but I only do neo-primitive... |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2479 |
I think I found the perfect shade of gray. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2480 |
Yes, it shows your eyes closed again. You blinked! |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2481 |
But you said this is your better side. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2482 |
I suppose the next thing you’ll complain about is disappearing megafauna, more Pleistocene fake news. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2483 |
I know it's not to scale. I'm not some kind of caveman. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2484 |
Stop wiggling your ears. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2485 |
Don't smile if you want to be able to use this for your passport. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2486 |
They will never believe I didn't just imagine you in a few thousand years. |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2487 |
I know you do, but think of all the fun misinformation we can cause drawing you without tusks. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2488 |
Everyone's a critic. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2489 |
First I memorialize you; then I eat you. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2490 |
Do that in here again and your days will be numbered! |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2491 |
Let's see those pearly whites. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2492 |
Okay, I made your trunk shorter; should I include the tusks? |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2493 |
My therapist says if I keep at it I’ll get perspective. |
1.2442 |
0.04945 |
86 |
66 |
19 |
1 |
2494 |
Keep in mind that cave drawings add ten pounds. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2495 |
You are really bigly big but I must draw you to the best of my ability for posterity. I cannot differentiate between a mammoth and a mastodon at this scale, but surely, your Siberia connection is unmistakable. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2496 |
Everyone's a critic all of a sudden. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2497 |
Don't worry...the cave wall adds 50 pounds |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2498 |
You have to stand sideways! |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2499 |
Will you stop with the spitballs! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2500 |
You are mammoth. |
1.2442 |
0.04660 |
86 |
65 |
21 |
0 |
2501 |
Not for you. So I don't forget! |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2502 |
First, we have to address the elephant in the room. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2503 |
If I draw them that way everyone will think they are fake. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2504 |
And after we got priced out of Brooklyn, where else could we go? |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2505 |
Yes, I know your tusks are bigger than that. |
1.2442 |
0.06175 |
86 |
71 |
9 |
6 |
2506 |
Would it kill you to give me an enigmatic smile? |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2507 |
Hold still and try not to look so serious. |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2508 |
Work it! Work it! |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2509 |
Good. Now give me sexy vixen. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2510 |
What do you think, too tusky? |
1.2442 |
0.05214 |
86 |
67 |
17 |
2 |
2511 |
This could be worth something in a few hundred thousand years. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2512 |
your gender, please? |
1.2442 |
0.05715 |
86 |
69 |
13 |
4 |
2513 |
It was life-size portrait when I started! |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2514 |
Look, I don't really care about your guarantees. It's as plain as the nose on your face -- you do have small ears. |
1.2442 |
0.05470 |
86 |
68 |
15 |
3 |
2515 |
The last pictures I stored on the cloud got ruined when it rained. |
1.2442 |
0.05949 |
86 |
70 |
11 |
5 |
2516 |
I'm posting this on my wall for "Throwback Thursday." |
1.2439 |
0.04771 |
82 |
62 |
20 |
0 |
2517 |
Stand still, or I'll really chase you with a spear. |
1.2439 |
0.05639 |
82 |
65 |
14 |
3 |
2518 |
Move your head just a little to the right. The tusks are giving me trouble. |
1.2439 |
0.05077 |
82 |
63 |
18 |
1 |
2519 |
Me call it "Drawing by Thag, Contest #1, May 12, 7432 BC" |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2520 |
We also do cards, calendars, and collages. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2521 |
I said, don't look! |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2522 |
What? You want fifty shades of gray? |
1.2414 |
0.05887 |
87 |
71 |
11 |
5 |
2523 |
I'm the only portraitist on this side of the glacier. This IS your best angle. |
1.2414 |
0.04895 |
87 |
67 |
19 |
1 |
2524 |
Primitive? |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2525 |
Can't you remember that I told you not to move? |
1.2414 |
0.04895 |
87 |
67 |
19 |
1 |
2526 |
What? Now you're an art critic? |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2527 |
I don’t need a critic ! |
1.2414 |
0.06110 |
87 |
72 |
9 |
6 |
2528 |
Can you give me a little less tooth in that smile? |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2529 |
For your next lesson, we'll work on tusks. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2530 |
No, this does not make you look fat |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2531 |
Trust me, the President is wrong:, size doesn't matter. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2532 |
I think you're making me look fat. |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2533 |
No, I did not make your nose too big. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2534 |
My wife wishes I would stop painting nudes. |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2535 |
I'd like to see you try to get detail in this light |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2536 |
I don't know what to tell you - you need to lose a few thousand pounds... |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2537 |
That's not funny; do you want a tusk or don't you! |
1.2414 |
0.04895 |
87 |
67 |
19 |
1 |
2538 |
You have not put on any weight, stand still |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2539 |
Hold still, dammit.... |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2540 |
So now, everybody's a critic. |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2541 |
I’m rated one of the top artists of the Pleistocene age. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2542 |
I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2543 |
I told you already...the life-size version would take way too long! |
1.2414 |
0.04895 |
87 |
67 |
19 |
1 |
2544 |
Draw me like one of your French Mastadons. |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2545 |
I'm not going to get this right unless you stay still. |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2546 |
Any thoughts on a winning caption ? |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2547 |
Now let's build some happy little trees . . . |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2548 |
Thus, the mammoth differs greatly from the mastadon. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2549 |
No, future generations won't think you're fat. Everyone knows a cave wall adds 10 lbs. |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2550 |
Don't worry, I'll have Grog fix it in post. |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2551 |
No, this is not where little elephants come from. |
1.2414 |
0.05887 |
87 |
71 |
11 |
5 |
2552 |
I'm hoping some classy art will attract some women to the cave. |
1.2414 |
0.05161 |
87 |
68 |
17 |
2 |
2553 |
Just this once, how 'bout a smile? |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2554 |
I'm losing light, stop moving. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2555 |
Take it from me that is your "good side". |
1.2414 |
0.05656 |
87 |
70 |
13 |
4 |
2556 |
Finally - someone is talking about the Elephant in the room. |
1.2414 |
0.05887 |
87 |
71 |
11 |
5 |
2557 |
This is your Facecave profile. No tusks. They make you seem unapproachable! |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2558 |
I can't work while you're watching! |
1.2414 |
0.05887 |
87 |
71 |
11 |
5 |
2559 |
You know, you really look good by firelight |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2560 |
No. I don't sleep with all my models. |
1.2414 |
0.05414 |
87 |
69 |
15 |
3 |
2561 |
You didn't paint my good side! |
1.2386 |
0.05110 |
88 |
69 |
17 |
2 |
2562 |
I can't believe my ears are that small. |
1.2386 |
0.05359 |
88 |
70 |
15 |
3 |
2563 |
If we can get rid of the tusks your progeny will propagate the earth. |
1.2386 |
0.05359 |
88 |
70 |
15 |
3 |
2564 |
You asked me to make you look thinner. |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2565 |
Don't be ridiculous. The fire light does not make you look fat. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2566 |
I know your working for peanuts, but can't you just hold the pose for five more minutes. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2567 |
Now give me angry. A little more Jumbo, a little less Dumbo. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2568 |
Don't blame the artist. You're the one putting all that junk in your trunk. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2569 |
I left out your tusks. They'll never be worth anything. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2570 |
I have no idea but they'll write books about it. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2571 |
I know, but I only have so much grey paint. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2572 |
What part of “Turn 90 degrees counterclockwise!” don’t you understand? |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2573 |
There's a song that goes with it, "Wooly Bully." |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2574 |
It's called primitivism, but I find that insulting. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2575 |
Stop moving, I don't want you to come out like a fuzzy mammoth. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2576 |
and that’s where babies come from. Questions? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2577 |
I wanna get it just right. You'll be extinct soon. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2578 |
Hold still! How do you expect me to capture your essence if you can't hold still?! |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2579 |
So, you're sure you want to go through with the nose job? |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2580 |
This is when you were a baby, remember? |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2581 |
Now's a fine time to tell me your right side is the better profile. |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2582 |
Mr. Mastadon, I said your descendants would be African Elephants, not "A Frickin' Elephant!" |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2583 |
Had you exercised more and ate sensible meals, you wouldn't be worried about my vision. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2584 |
Who made you a critic? |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2585 |
Stay limp like that and you'll go down in history as the party of inaction! |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2586 |
I can't hold this much longer my trunk is burning. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2587 |
It’s not as big as you think it is |
1.2381 |
0.06250 |
84 |
70 |
8 |
6 |
2588 |
I know you have a good memory but I still think you should take notes. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2589 |
Sorry, the paintbrush adds ten pounds. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2590 |
Could you give me a smile that's a little less toothy, please. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2591 |
Trumpet to right if like. Trumpet left, Og draw new elephant. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2592 |
Would you please hold still--you're the LAST ONE. |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2593 |
It's supposed to look amateurish. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2594 |
Want to enter my caption competition? |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2595 |
I didn't bring you in here to judge my art skills, Paul. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2596 |
Yes, I pay you peanuts, but you'll have exposure for millennia to come. |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2597 |
Yeah it's another caveman cartoon, you got a problem with that? |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2598 |
Look, I know it doesn’t look like you. But the guy who hired me just wants something that will last. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2599 |
Listen, I don’t care if you think your tusks are too small. You’re paying me peanuts! |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2600 |
If you think your kid could do it better, why hasn't he done it? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2601 |
How do you expect me to get it right if you won't hold still? |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2602 |
I tried one of those correspondence courses, but I’m mostly self-taught. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2603 |
Relax. I'm sure they know about shrinkage in the future too. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2604 |
Forget the wheel, I needs someone to invent a bowl of fruit. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2605 |
It'll be a mammoth artistic achievement. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2606 |
I'm just trying to think of a caption. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2607 |
Are you sure you don’t want a robe or something? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2608 |
If you never forget, then what's the point? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2609 |
Elephants may never forget, but men do! |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2610 |
I'd appreciate it if you would show up on time. I'd like to get this finished before the Ice Age. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2611 |
I won't always be around to sign your name, you know |
1.2381 |
0.06250 |
84 |
70 |
8 |
6 |
2612 |
What? I’m an impressionist not a realist. |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2613 |
No I did not make you look fat, you are fat! |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2614 |
Hey! How about one of you and your friends playing cards? |
1.2381 |
0.05253 |
84 |
66 |
16 |
2 |
2615 |
You're paying for this in ivory, right? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2616 |
OK, OK don't rush me, it's hard to work in charcoal, but in 30,000 years you'll be famous, believe me. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2617 |
You are are actually much thinner, the ice adds 10 tons |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2618 |
Just a little bit longer, then we'll go relax in the tar pits! |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2619 |
No, I can't make you look skinny. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2620 |
I know that it’s not to scale! I only have a chisel- what do you expect? |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2621 |
Relax...this will have no historical significance. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2622 |
It's like looking in a mirror, right? |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2623 |
MARSHMALLOWS? Never heard of them. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2624 |
Ok....keep your mysterious smile just like that! |
1.2381 |
0.06017 |
84 |
69 |
10 |
5 |
2625 |
I couldn't find a milk carton. This is the best shot we have of finding him. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2626 |
If I want to draw you wooly, then I will draw you wooly! |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2627 |
It’s representational |
1.2381 |
0.04675 |
84 |
64 |
20 |
0 |
2628 |
I'm trying out this new "Paleolithic" style |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2629 |
I'm not going to argue! In the west, it's trunk UP for luck! |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2630 |
If you don't stop fidgeting, I'll just find me a bison who can. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2631 |
Don't rush me...I do the tusks at the end. |
1.2381 |
0.05519 |
84 |
67 |
14 |
3 |
2632 |
You can't handle the tooth!!! |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2633 |
Fred's life drawing classes were a mammoth disappointment. |
1.2381 |
0.05773 |
84 |
68 |
12 |
4 |
2634 |
Models are always forgotten. The artist and his work live forever. |
1.2381 |
0.04972 |
84 |
65 |
18 |
1 |
2635 |
You'll be hearing from my lawyer |
1.2353 |
0.05461 |
85 |
68 |
14 |
3 |
2636 |
Have I got the trunk right? Is this a reasonable likeness of the elephant that took your cabbages? |
1.2353 |
0.05198 |
85 |
67 |
16 |
2 |
2637 |
You of all people should remember my password! |
1.2353 |
0.05712 |
85 |
69 |
12 |
4 |
2638 |
Will you try to look a little more natural? |
1.2353 |
0.05712 |
85 |
69 |
12 |
4 |
2639 |
Hold still and stop leaning to the right. |
1.2353 |
0.04628 |
85 |
65 |
20 |
0 |
2640 |
What do you mean "Walt is doing this in colour"? |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2641 |
Hold still. This won’t last long. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2642 |
No, I don’t think this cave painting makes you look fat. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2643 |
'You look very stiff, can you do something wild and spontaneous?" |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2644 |
Your legs are supposed to look stumpy. It's a caricature. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2645 |
What? You're not funding National Endowment For the Arts! |
1.2346 |
0.06154 |
81 |
67 |
9 |
5 |
2646 |
I know, I know, I won't forget the horns! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2647 |
You are not fat. The wall always adds 10 pounds. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2648 |
Yes, I know what having long tusks really means. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2649 |
Trust me...the tusks add 50 pounds. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2650 |
God, you're beautiful! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2651 |
When I'm through with this you are going to be a celeb. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2652 |
Just be happy someone's paying attention to you for once. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2653 |
No, it does not make your butt look fat. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2654 |
Trust me. No one will know how horny you really were. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2655 |
These days, without social media presence you might as well be extinct. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2656 |
Mark my words, someday other cave people come here and grunt out loud - "Grog good artist, truly original, ahead of time." |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2657 |
I don't care how much you adore your woolly coat...I paint nudes...end of story! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2658 |
I'm sorry, but if I don't draw you with a spear in your side, everyone's going to think I'm a wimp! |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2659 |
You’re big and stinky, yet I gave you a home, fire, and art; and you’re leaving ME ?? |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2660 |
I'm an impressionist! I CAN'T painter you thinner! |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2661 |
No, really, thanks for posing! I mean, what with hunting and all... |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2662 |
Can't you stand still for 10 minutes? I can make you famous in 30,000 years! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2663 |
Well what else was I supposed to do with a Liberal Arts degree? |
1.2346 |
0.06154 |
81 |
67 |
9 |
5 |
2664 |
I am NOT trying to belittle you. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2665 |
I don’t love it either. But maybe future generations will. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2666 |
Done. if you want wallet size, that's gonna cost extra. |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2667 |
Can you make me look younger? |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2668 |
Relax, this isn't my first cave drawing. |
1.2346 |
0.04737 |
81 |
62 |
19 |
0 |
2669 |
Give me a smile now! The ice age is over. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2670 |
Please! The peanut breath is killing me! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2671 |
This is the best I can do. Hunting is my talent. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2672 |
Because your inner child doesn't have tusks! |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2673 |
Give me a Mona Lisa smile. You know, enigmatic. |
1.2346 |
0.06400 |
81 |
68 |
7 |
6 |
2674 |
If you're going to criticize, you can go live in another cave. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2675 |
I'll let you take credit for fire, if you give me painting. Deal? |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2676 |
Could you please lean a little less to the right? |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2677 |
In about ten thousand years I'll be compared to Jackson Pollock. And you? |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2678 |
Can you take a quarter turn to the right so that I can see all of those beautiful tusks? |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2679 |
Don't worry---I can photoshop out your wrinkles. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2680 |
“Give me a break! It’s my first time sketching a nude model”. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2681 |
Stop moving, damn it! |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2682 |
This is how you'll look after the face lift. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2683 |
Because the painting adds ten pounds. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2684 |
The wall takes away 10,000 pounds. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2685 |
OK so I'm not Leonardo, but you're no Mona Lisa |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2686 |
Emphasizing the ivory is probably a big mistake |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2687 |
hold still. I'm almost done. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2688 |
Hey, this is a cave. It's supposed to look like a primitive painting! |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2689 |
Caves always make you look fatter. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2690 |
What the **** you lookin' at Ski Nose? |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2691 |
I don’t know what to tell you, it adds ten pounds. |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2692 |
I'm entering my prehistoric phase. |
1.2346 |
0.04737 |
81 |
62 |
19 |
0 |
2693 |
Neanderthal jokes are so early Holocene. Think of something else. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2694 |
Hold still, or I’ll make you look hairy! |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2695 |
I'm calling it "Ella font." |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2696 |
Trunk up a little, please. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2697 |
I want "Raging Bull" -- not "Little Women"! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2698 |
You have to face it, you have a big nose. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2699 |
No, my friend, I'm leaving the tusks out so you don't look too horny.... |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2700 |
Yes, I got your good side! |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2701 |
I love how the light captures your trunk. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2702 |
If we take a little off the tusk, it will offer a much more youthful look. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2703 |
I'm sorry, I can only hold it up for so long! |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2704 |
Just a little more to the left. Perfect! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2705 |
One day your grandchildren will really apprec- oh wait, never mind. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2706 |
Hold still, you'll be extinct one day and I need to capture this! |
1.2346 |
0.04737 |
81 |
62 |
19 |
0 |
2707 |
What happened to that "I've got a secret" smile of yours? |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2708 |
What do you mean, I truncated your tusk? |
1.2346 |
0.06154 |
81 |
67 |
9 |
5 |
2709 |
For an extra ten spot Mr. Trunk, I can make your tusks a lot more...you know..."manly" |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2710 |
No, you don't need a nose job. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2711 |
Well you're the one who cut the NEA budget. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2712 |
I told you to lay off the bulking powder until we were done. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2713 |
You were right charcoal does work, but I don't see it becoming popular with artists. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2714 |
Hold still. I’m trying to get your good side. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2715 |
I like to think of myself as a pre-Impressionist. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2716 |
I'm almost to the part where I add the spear. I'm going to need you to hold really still. |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2717 |
Okay, okay. I'll draw your tusks larger. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2718 |
Let's have a little more tusk |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2719 |
Do you remember what the asteroid looked like? |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2720 |
Keep your trunk up, please. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2721 |
Feel like a ride, after? |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2722 |
Don't give me that look.. I took off 10,000 pounds and left out the wrinkles like you asked! |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2723 |
Well, it’s not supposed to look EXACTLY like you, it’s an ABSTRACT cave-wall painting. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2724 |
What do ya mean, what's cheese? |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2725 |
Yes, I can make you look thinner. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2726 |
'Don't worry, I'll put some leaves and flowers in the background to soften you up.' |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2727 |
I'm capturing your playful spirit NOT your exact image. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2728 |
"Harvey, I'm audioning for the part of the Wooley Mammoth. Why am I naked again?". |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2729 |
I'm sorry you think the nose looks big, but lets be honest . . . |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2730 |
Yes, of course I know the difference between a wooly mammoth and a mastodon. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2731 |
I'm capturing your inner child. |
1.2346 |
0.06154 |
81 |
67 |
9 |
5 |
2732 |
I'm looking to go beyond representational to early existential in this scene. |
1.2346 |
0.05053 |
81 |
63 |
17 |
1 |
2733 |
Okay, wise guy, you want someone to capture your “essence,” go two caves over and talk to Pierre. |
1.2346 |
0.05630 |
81 |
65 |
13 |
3 |
2734 |
Don’t be so critical. You’ll never understand modern art. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2735 |
Trust me this is your good side, and plus who's gonna see it? |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2736 |
Before your first date, there's a few things you need to know. |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2737 |
Okay, now where do you want the spear? |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2738 |
First I discovered fire, then the wheel... I'm calling this one-"Pictionary" ! |
1.2346 |
0.05898 |
81 |
66 |
11 |
4 |
2739 |
Sure, I love the mystic smile and all. But my palette is kinda limited here, so work with me! |
1.2346 |
0.05349 |
81 |
64 |
15 |
2 |
2740 |
Trunk down? Really?? You'll regret this in the holocene. |
1.2346 |
0.061 |