Contest #601


Cartoon

601


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Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I thought you said it wouldn't need much attention. 1.8853 0.01388 3268 1238 1167 863
1 You know how they say that in the Spring, the desert comes alive? 1.8117 0.01477 2608 1033 1033 542
2 We'll lose him in the swimming and biking stages. 1.8095 0.01406 3055 1268 1101 686
3 Something tells me the peyote is staring to kick in. 1.8051 0.01933 1611 672 581 358
4 I told you not to water it. Now it's going to follow us home. 1.7803 0.02238 1088 442 443 203
5 Looks like we're not the only ones who want out before he builds that wall... 1.7758 0.01634 2279 1006 778 495
6 Hon, remember that little cactus we let die on the window sill? 1.7733 0.01863 1694 733 612 349
7 Next time just relieve yourself against a rock. 1.7705 0.01449 2993 1362 956 675
8 Don't look now, but some prick is following us. 1.7660 0.02552 1013 480 290 243
9 Sorry, we only hug trees. 1.7564 0.01778 1880 843 652 385
10 He just wants to say aloe. 1.7502 0.01711 2038 926 695 417
11 I'm pretty sure the peyote has kicked in. 1.7383 0.01653 2262 1072 710 480
12 I think the peyote is finally kicking in. 1.7337 0.01979 1566 744 495 327
13 I'm telling you it's the SAME CACTUS. 1.7252 0.01614 2260 1061 759 440
14 The wall was dumb, but these border guard disguises are even worse. 1.7038 0.01610 2299 1126 728 445
15 Obviously, he's a deserter. 1.7016 0.01631 2168 1045 725 398
16 Why couldn't you just pee behind a bush? 1.7005 0.01452 2758 1338 908 512
17 How come it leaves footprints and we don't? 1.6941 0.01695 2105 1057 635 413
18 Why couldn’t he just follow us on Twitter? 1.6916 0.01691 1936 926 681 329
19 OK, when we get to the border, just act natural. 1.6898 0.02419 906 424 339 143
20 I’m pretty sure it’s a saguaro, but I think you’re missing the point. 1.6881 0.01847 1693 835 551 307
21 The desert scenery is really moving. 1.6636 0.01731 1757 857 634 266
22 Did you really have to call it spineless? 1.6598 0.01709 1934 987 618 329
23 The good news is we've outrun the ficus. 1.6540 0.01727 1902 982 596 324
24 He just wants to say aloe. 1.6493 0.02156 1212 628 381 203
25 Sure, he's keeping up now; wait 'til we get to the bike and the swim. 1.6443 0.01679 1982 1031 625 326
26 "Try some Peyote," You said, "What Could It Hurt?" You said...... 1.6310 0.01836 1737 947 484 306
27 We're 70% water. Run! 1.6283 0.02037 1329 705 413 211
28 Honey I think this prick is following us. 1.6270 0.02193 1220 670 335 215
29 I know you're a botanist, but couldn't we just get a dog? 1.6222 0.01854 1612 866 489 257
30 You're doing great, but try using your arms, more. 1.6209 0.02292 968 499 337 132
31 Keep moving. He's a hugger. 1.6119 0.01978 1479 826 401 252
32 I think it knows we're 60% water! 1.6099 0.01891 1469 784 474 211
33 I warned you not to give it water. 1.6084 0.02386 830 422 311 97
34 The peyote is kicking in. 1.6027 0.01962 1427 788 418 221
35 I love morning runs, the scenery really comes alive. 1.5968 0.02161 1064 565 363 136
36 No, if it were more than one I would have said cacti! 1.5957 0.02205 1155 652 318 185
37 Honey, I think you dropped your Viagra. 1.5919 0.02332 1240 774 198 268
38 This guy following us is a real prick 1.5838 0.02311 1110 656 260 194
39 No, the hallucinations don't usually start until at least the 50th mile or so. Why do you ask? 1.5819 0.02600 708 379 246 83
40 By any chance, were there ever nuclear tests in this desert? 1.5816 0.02232 1023 564 323 136
41 You have to admit, he's in good shape for a 170 year old. 1.5792 0.02430 877 489 268 120
42 It must be an invasive species. 1.5769 0.02340 917 506 293 118
43 Honey, is this where those nuclear tests were done in the nineteen fifties? 1.5709 0.02410 888 501 267 120
44 Just pay him for the selfie. 1.5709 0.02444 825 456 267 102
45 The U.S. Border Patrol's methods are unconventional, but it's cheaper than building a wall. 1.5682 0.02372 894 501 278 115
46 Maybe we do need a wall. 1.5662 0.02485 839 478 247 114
47 I know we can't take one, but if it follows us home... 1.5657 0.02370 829 451 287 91
48 You were right, dear. The Cactus Run is much less stressful than last week's Cheetah Run. 1.5577 0.02829 633 362 189 82
49 Those new Border Patrol disguises aren't fooling anybody. 1.5551 0.02527 762 430 241 91
50 What was it you said about global warming and plant migration? 1.5547 0.02465 759 419 259 81
51 I told you it would follow us home if you watered it. 1.5497 0.02614 704 399 223 82
52 Cactus if you can! 1.5491 0.02723 723 430 189 104
53 It may be my imagination, but I think Mexico is giving us the finger. 1.5455 0.02851 693 424 160 109
54 Just follow us. There’s still one acre of federally protected land left! 1.5404 0.02979 631 388 145 98
55 He's searching for his roots. 1.5404 0.02637 644 360 220 64
56 I think the peyote's working! 1.5377 0.03059 610 380 132 98
57 I told you not to pee on it. 1.5363 0.02968 578 343 160 75
58 Hurry! If we run, he’ll never cactus. 1.5293 0.03029 563 340 148 75
59 It's a mirage a trois. 1.5286 0.02999 560 335 154 71
60 He’s been able to skip every water station so far. 1.5284 0.02934 528 303 171 54
61 I told you not to pet it. Now it's following us home. 1.5276 0.03027 561 339 148 74
62 This is good peyote. 1.5269 0.03019 539 320 154 65
63 I never expected shrinking the National Parks would lead to this kind of backlash. 1.5251 0.03074 537 324 144 69
64 I'll just remind you that the park ranger said not to encourage them. 1.5248 0.02892 545 315 174 56
65 It's not the first time our day has been ruined by an annoying prick, is it honey? 1.5233 0.03005 537 319 155 63
66 Remember when I said global warming will bring changes we can't even imagine? 1.5216 0.03046 533 320 148 65
67 I think the peyote tea we drank this morning is catching up with us. 1.5212 0.03014 518 305 156 57
68 I think I know how foreigners are getting into Arizona. 1.5206 0.03099 534 326 138 70
69 "Hey, why aren't we making any footprints? 1.5206 0.03144 534 330 130 74
70 He's gaining on us, would you just give him the damn water bottle. 1.5202 0.02914 521 300 171 50
71 Didn't they used to test nukes around here? 1.5193 0.03113 493 293 144 56
72 I’ve changed my mind about GMOs. 1.5189 0.03267 503 314 117 72
73 We're ahead but he doesn't need as much water as we do. 1.5182 0.03062 521 313 146 62
74 I told you you should have peed somewhere else. 1.5172 0.03256 493 305 121 67
75 "It'll be fun," you said. "I bet peyote isn't even that strong," you said. 1.5172 0.03345 495 314 106 75
76 And I thought Burning Man couldn't get any weirder. 1.5171 0.03223 497 306 125 66
77 Arms lower. Lean into it. 1.5166 0.03132 511 311 136 64
78 What surprises me is how he got over that wall. 1.5152 0.03294 493 309 114 70
79 Don't run. It's trying to surrender. 1.5134 0.03083 485 287 147 51
80 If only he has footprints, are we the mirage? 1.5126 0.03347 478 301 109 68
81 Wait, honey, I think it's trying to surrender. 1.5104 0.03027 482 282 154 46
82 Just act natural. They sense hydration. 1.5085 0.03073 472 278 148 46
83 Run faster! I think it wants a hug. 1.5065 0.03328 464 290 113 61
84 Well they did say the landscape would be moving. 1.5057 0.03180 441 261 137 43
85 Sweetie, don't look now but that prick is following us 1.5022 0.03400 446 281 106 59
86 Gumby? Is that you? 1.5022 0.03326 446 276 116 54
87 You know that prickling sensation you get when someone’s following you? 1.5000 0.03414 436 274 106 56
88 When we get to the border, let me do the talking. 1.5000 0.03223 436 262 130 44
89 You had to pee on the cactus, didn't you? 1.4976 0.03467 422 266 102 54
90 I take it back honey, your boss isn't the biggest prick I've ever seen 1.4964 0.03557 413 264 93 56
91 you could have peed anywhere, but NO ! 1.4963 0.03485 403 251 104 48
92 Honey, I think the peyote has kicked in. 1.4962 0.03519 395 246 102 47
93 Poor guy, I can’t imagine how chafed his inner thighs must be. 1.4923 0.03420 390 238 112 40
94 I think we all know who the bigger prick is now. 1.4922 0.03669 384 246 87 51
95 Remember that housewarming gift you threw out? 1.4897 0.03374 388 235 116 37
96 Don't worry, we will pull way ahead during the swimming event. 1.4891 0.03630 368 231 94 43
97 It's easier if you swing your arms. 1.4883 0.03365 383 231 117 35
98 A scene from the lesser-known movie: "Cactus If You Can." 1.4871 0.03471 388 241 105 42
99 It's easier if you put your arms down. 1.4871 0.03452 388 240 107 41
100 “We’re no where near Area 51, Elise. Why do you ask? 1.4863 0.03624 366 230 94 42
101 Speed it up! Coming in last this time will REALLY be embarrassing! 1.4856 0.03304 383 229 122 32
102 Do you think it knows we are 60% water? 1.4823 0.03616 367 232 93 42
103 You're positive you didn't tell your ex-wife where we were going? 1.4815 0.03887 351 231 71 49
104 Good to see these endangered species are finally getting proactive. 1.4815 0.03559 351 216 101 34
105 If we keep him, he'll have to sleep in his own bed. 1.4809 0.03685 366 235 86 45
106 It's not the heat, it's the absurdity. 1.4809 0.03582 366 230 96 40
107 I told you not to water it, now it won't leave us alone. 1.4803 0.03478 356 217 107 32
108 I don't think he's going to stop until he gets a hug. 1.4803 0.03523 356 219 103 34
109 Hey! Do you guys have a second to talk about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ? 1.4800 0.04060 350 239 54 57
110 Peyote's kicking in, hon. 1.4783 0.03786 345 222 81 42
111 You know that "runner's high" they talk about? 1.4780 0.03513 341 207 105 29
112 It's still not as strange as some of the people who follow us on Twitter. 1.4777 0.03618 358 226 93 39
113 I think he’s doing a dry run. 1.4777 0.03704 358 230 85 43
114 I think he's angry because you called this place a sh**hole! 1.4765 0.03939 340 225 68 47
115 We must be getting close to Area 51. 1.4762 0.03599 336 207 98 31
116 Cactus if you can! 1.4758 0.03844 351 231 73 47
117 He knows this is a triathalon, right? 1.4743 0.03663 331 206 93 32
118 I could have sworn we passed that cactus miles ago. 1.4741 0.03557 348 216 99 33
119 I... don't... have... to... out run... the cactus... Just... need... to run... faster... than... my wife. 1.4740 0.03820 327 209 81 37
120 Looks like something that happened in Vegas doesn't want to stay in Vegas. 1.4740 0.03687 346 220 88 38
121 He's just needling us. 1.4732 0.03720 336 213 87 36
122 Perhaps “spineless” wasn’t the best choice of words. 1.4723 0.03687 343 218 88 37
123 It's OK, he's close... but no saguaro. 1.4723 0.03823 343 224 76 43
124 I think the peyote is kicking in. 1.4722 0.03944 324 212 71 41
125 He's going to cactus! 1.4701 0.03760 334 214 83 37
126 Honey...remember when you said tequila was a terrible chaser? 1.4701 0.03877 334 219 73 42
127 I keep getting that prickly feeling on the back of my neck..... 1.4701 0.03538 334 205 101 28
128 Shoo! We only hug TREES 1.4693 0.03753 326 207 85 34
129 Looks like he wants a hug. 1.4693 0.03546 326 199 101 26
130 Remember this the next time you want to relieve yourself on a cactus! 1.4685 0.03815 333 216 78 39
131 So... how long has your dad been in witness protection? 1.4683 0.03808 331 214 79 38
132 Run faster! It's still trying to cactus. 1.4683 0.03832 331 215 77 39
133 I don't have to outrun it, I only have to outrun you. 1.4673 0.03588 306 185 99 22
134 The mescaline is kicking in. 1.4658 0.03974 307 200 71 36
135 This border protection thing is getting out of hand. 1.4650 0.03749 314 198 86 30
136 We had a great time, we're just not huggers. 1.4639 0.03988 319 212 66 41
137 Come back! I’m going to make the desert great again! 1.4639 0.03913 319 209 72 38
138 You never should have called him spineless. 1.4637 0.03932 317 208 71 38
139 Remember when you said that GMOs are safe? 1.4633 0.03786 300 188 85 27
140 Hold up Ted, I think it's trying to surrender. 1.4627 0.03733 322 205 85 32
141 What's the first sign of heat stroke again? 1.4618 0.03665 314 196 91 27
142 Well, howdy Hopalong Cactussy !! 1.4618 0.04184 314 216 51 47
143 We're in trouble if HE is following US to find water 1.4613 0.03670 310 193 91 26
144 The scenery around here is really moving. 1.4613 0.03813 297 187 83 27
145 Yeah, we're a little downwind from the old atomic bomb test sites, why? 1.4596 0.03926 285 181 77 27
146 Great, now it isn't even trying to freeze when I turn around. 1.4593 0.03752 307 194 85 28
147 When they said "The living Desert", they weren't kidding. 1.4590 0.03769 305 193 84 28
148 We should have never taken that peyote. 1.4558 0.03945 283 181 75 27
149 I think it might just want a hug. 1.4549 0.03833 288 182 81 25
150 All I said was, "Hey, Saguaro, what kind of guano hole country do you come from?" 1.4545 0.04098 297 199 61 37
151 I don't have to outrun the cactus. I just have to outrun you. 1.4542 0.04005 295 194 68 33
152 Of course you can run with us, just no more high fives, got it? 1.4542 0.03997 284 184 71 29
153 Say Bob, do you know anything about the side effects of peyote? 1.4536 0.03927 291 188 74 29
154 I've been running from pricks my whole life. 1.4520 0.04242 281 190 55 36
155 I think that border agent just blew his cover. 1.4514 0.03863 288 184 78 26
156 I think we spoiled him in the suburbs—he’s too entitled to go back to the wild now. 1.4514 0.04164 288 194 58 36
157 Please aloe me to introduce myself! 1.4510 0.04006 286 187 69 30
158 He may be slow, but he won't need a water break for months. 1.4510 0.03944 286 185 73 28
159 Honey, do you remember that little cactus plant your Mom gave us and we threw out? 1.4494 0.04213 267 177 60 30
160 I wonder why we don't leave footprints. 1.4488 0.04128 283 189 61 33
161 I told you he was an obnoxious prick 1.4488 0.04188 283 191 57 35
162 Sure, you call yourselves tree huggers. 1.4480 0.04172 279 187 59 33
163 This might just be the peyote talking, but I actually feel okay about this whole situation. 1.4480 0.04046 279 183 67 29
164 I think the environment is trying to surrender. 1.4480 0.03950 279 180 73 26
165 Last one there pays for the wall. 1.4466 0.04305 262 176 55 31
166 I told you that jogging around Area 51 was a bad idea. 1.4466 0.04024 262 168 71 23
167 Look, we're just not really the hugging types. 1.4460 0.04024 278 182 68 28
168 I believe he's looking for his roots. 1.4457 0.03845 276 175 79 22
169 The shaman said this is totally normal. 1.4453 0.03898 274 175 76 23
170 Besides dry mouth, what are some other signs of dehydration? 1.4431 0.04176 255 167 63 25
171 We're definitely lost. I'm certain this same cactus chased us an hour ago. 1.4427 0.04273 253 168 58 27
172 This isn't what I meant by a desert getaway. 1.4419 0.04004 267 173 70 24
173 We've passed it 4 times now - after every race rest stop. 1.4415 0.04266 265 179 55 31
174 I told you not to water it. 1.4415 0.04025 265 172 69 24
175 We can't just desert him. 1.4415 0.04165 265 176 61 28
176 I think the peyote just kicked in. 1.4405 0.04430 252 172 49 31
177 Your mother has NOT learned to respect our space. 1.4395 0.04372 248 167 53 28
178 I don't know why people are so impressed. His form is terrible and he never hydrates properly. 1.4395 0.04648 223 151 46 26
179 Maybe you were right. I shouldn't talk to plants. 1.4394 0.03999 264 171 70 23
180 It must be dry humor week at The New Yorker. 1.4394 0.04344 264 181 50 33
181 Now that's an invasive species! 1.4392 0.04061 255 165 68 22
182 Can you guys slow down? My spines are acting up. 1.4389 0.04092 262 172 65 25
183 All I said was "Nice succulent!." 1.4389 0.03947 262 168 73 21
184 I love these new mobile cell towers. 1.4351 0.04332 239 159 56 24
185 Let's speed up. I don't want to get stuck out here. 1.4336 0.04121 256 169 63 24
186 I think the peyote is kicking in. 1.4322 0.04452 236 160 50 26
187 This is our new border security? 1.4321 0.04510 243 168 45 30
188 This may be the best trainer we’ve ever hired. 1.4315 0.04055 241 155 68 18
189 it's moving to Canada... 1.4309 0.04200 246 163 60 23
190 This is nothing. For a high impact workout they send a tumbleweed. 1.4305 0.04728 223 155 40 28
191 Can we skip high fives at the finish? 1.4298 0.04085 242 157 66 19
192 “No, it’s not “just like acupuncture”! 1.4298 0.04085 242 157 66 19
193 Oh, he can be such a prick! 1.4274 0.04260 241 161 57 23
194 He keeps complaining about plant fasciitis. 1.4268 0.04286 239 160 56 23
195 No, its Homeland Security. 1.4267 0.04249 232 153 59 20
196 I have an idea, but we'll need Mexico to pay for it. 1.4266 0.04628 218 149 45 24
197 Are you fleeing Trump’s America too? 1.4262 0.04514 237 164 45 28
198 Um... remember when you laughed and yelled "Cactus if you can!" 1.4262 0.04553 237 165 43 29
199 Looks like we might be stuck with him. 1.4262 0.04270 237 158 57 22
200 It's either a mirage or that cactus is really pleased to see me. 1.4262 0.04010 237 152 69 16
201 Tag is fine with me, as long as we don’t have to play Leapfrog again. 1.4262 0.04099 237 154 65 18
202 Did you happen to step on a baby cactus? 1.4262 0.04055 237 153 67 17
203 Did you ever notice that there's never a wall when you need one? 1.4250 0.04147 240 158 62 20
204 I think it wants us to have a mirage-et-trois! 1.4231 0.04674 234 166 37 31
205 Where did you pee Jeff? 1.4231 0.04349 234 158 53 23
206 If he follows us home, we’ll be stuck with him 1.4231 0.04306 234 157 55 22
207 I think the runner's high is starting to kick in. 1.4224 0.04376 232 157 52 23
208 The Abominable Snowman adapts to Global Warming. 1.4222 0.04691 225 158 39 28
209 I don’t care if he just wants a hug! 1.4215 0.04320 223 148 56 19
210 With his cover blown ten minutes into the mission, Officer Day gave chase in his camouflage and wondered if he had put enough research into the native flora of Upstate New York 1.4215 0.04592 223 154 44 25
211 Honey, I think the peyote is kicking in! 1.4213 0.04702 216 150 41 25
212 Hurry Dan! I am not finishing behind the cactus again! 1.4211 0.04252 228 151 58 19
213 Looks like Homeland Security got their budget increase 1.4208 0.04347 221 147 55 19
214 Enough with the drama Shirley , we’re all thirsty 1.4208 0.04577 221 152 45 24
215 The peyote is kicking in. 1.4194 0.04402 217 145 53 19
216 No, if it were more than one I would have said cacti! 1.4178 0.04645 225 158 40 27
217 You had to get a cutting. 1.4178 0.04381 225 152 52 21
218 Tomorrow I'm using the treadmill. 1.4178 0.04289 225 150 56 19
219 That guy behind us is a total prick. 1.4178 0.04381 225 152 52 21
220 Group hug! 1.4178 0.04426 225 153 50 22
221 I refuse to lose another 5k to some jerk in a stupid costume. 1.4170 0.04544 223 154 45 24
222 I'm sorry! It was insensitive to call you "an invasive species!" 1.4170 0.04362 223 150 53 20
223 Even here, they have binge drinkers. 1.4163 0.04247 221 146 58 17
224 Weird! We don't have any footprints! 1.4163 0.04295 221 147 56 18
225 I don't think we can outrun it. I've heard they can go a long time without water. 1.4163 0.04437 221 150 50 21
226 We don't have any water! Go away! 1.4163 0.04295 221 147 56 18
227 Who knew succulents had a dry sense of humor? 1.4155 0.04273 219 145 57 17
228 It’s definitely kicking in now, Chad. Best Burning Man ever! 1.4155 0.04465 219 149 49 21
229 We're half water. It knows. 1.4147 0.04447 217 147 50 20
230 This is the part of global warming no one ever warned us about! 1.4147 0.04447 217 147 50 20
231 Hey remember that cactus you peed on? 1.4147 0.04588 217 150 44 23
232 "Honey, remember that little cactus from the sunroom... you said, "It's dead, just throw it out"? 1.4140 0.04427 215 145 51 19
233 Those border patrol agents are getting sneaky 1.4138 0.04451 203 135 52 16
234 who is that prick following us? 1.4128 0.04841 218 157 32 29
235 Honey, run faster. Some prick is following us. 1.4120 0.04507 216 148 47 21
236 He says this is a stick up. 1.4120 0.04312 216 144 55 17
237 Remember when I was saying nothing very interesting ever happens around here? 1.4120 0.04107 216 140 63 13
238 On your left! 1.4120 0.04459 216 147 49 20
239 Yes, Jerry - weirder than us not having footprints. 1.4112 0.04488 214 146 48 20
240 Are you sure your wife doesn't know about us? 1.4106 0.04597 207 142 45 20
241 What's he all up-in-arms about ? 1.4104 0.04468 212 144 49 19
242 He's not fast, but he's well hydrated 1.4104 0.04263 212 140 57 15
243 We're looking for water, too. 1.4095 0.04548 210 144 46 20
244 I thought you said Burning Man was next week. 1.4095 0.04498 210 143 48 19
245 I think we have a thorny problem. 1.4095 0.04237 210 138 58 14
246 They really do have a shallow root system. 1.4089 0.04555 203 138 47 18
247 I told you to water the cactus before it starts running dry. 1.4089 0.04501 203 137 49 17
248 Run before he sticks it to us! 1.4089 0.04660 203 140 43 20
249 Well, I guess it's cheaper than the wall. 1.4089 0.04501 203 137 49 17
250 Pick up the pace, honey. I don't want to get stuck here. 1.4087 0.04371 208 139 53 16
251 When is the peyote supposed to wear off? 1.4087 0.04629 208 144 43 21
252 Amy wondered, if it came to it, could she kill a cactus as easily as her houseplants? 1.4070 0.04885 199 141 35 23
253 I told you peyote wasn't a performance drug. 1.4058 0.04489 207 141 48 18
254 To him, we're succulent as well. 1.4058 0.04592 207 143 44 20
255 So, peyote does what now? 1.4051 0.04795 195 136 39 20
256 I think it's just sleep walking. I can hear it sonoran. 1.4049 0.04826 205 146 35 24
257 No, I'm not using a Freudian metaphor; turn around and look at it. 1.4039 0.04603 203 140 44 19
258 I swear, no matter where we run the pricks keep following us. 1.4039 0.04708 203 142 40 21
259 Wow, everyone is trying to get out of this shit hole. 1.4030 0.04845 201 143 35 23
260 Is that prick still behind us? 1.4030 0.04688 201 140 41 20
261 Did you order a chaser after that last maguerita? 1.4021 0.04920 194 138 34 22
262 I'm starting to think that taking peyote before a run was a really bad idea. 1.4020 0.04722 199 139 40 20
263 Oh God, it's just a dream, I can only handle one prick at a time. 1.4020 0.04828 199 141 36 22
264 I think Border Patrol is going a little too far. 1.4010 0.04732 192 133 41 18
265 I mean... He has some good points. 1.4010 0.04732 192 133 41 18
266 Let's not jog through the Nevada Nuclear Test Site anymore. 1.4010 0.04916 197 141 33 23
267 As usual, Gary was oblivious to the succulent harrassment Diane had to deal with every day. 1.4010 0.04863 197 140 35 22
268 Just ignore it, Julia. It's just another running gag. 1.4000 0.04594 200 138 44 18
269 Sweetie, what kind of mushrooms did you put in that omelet? 1.3989 0.04977 188 134 33 21
270 We should've gotten a dog. 1.3989 0.04447 183 121 51 11
271 Run. He's free-range. 1.3980 0.04715 196 137 40 19
272 Run faster, honey. He looks like a real prick. 1.3980 0.04932 196 141 32 23
273 We might want to pick up the pace a little. 1.3980 0.04429 196 132 50 14
274 Not to worry. It's surrendering. 1.3980 0.04429 196 132 50 14
275 Stop talking. It's attracted to your dry humor. 1.3980 0.04770 196 138 38 20
276 How long ago did we take the peyote? 1.3978 0.05015 186 133 32 21
277 Drat! Looks like one of Trump's border security cactuses is trailing us again. 1.3978 0.04547 181 121 48 12
278 So unfair...he doesn't have to stop at the water stations! 1.3969 0.04635 194 134 43 17
279 Eight miles in, and he still hasn't stopped for water. 1.3969 0.04212 194 127 57 10
280 Oh, so this is runner's high. 1.3967 0.04814 184 128 39 17
281 Maybe you shouldn't have called him spineless... 1.3947 0.04933 190 136 33 21
282 Honey, what do you get when you mix global warming and nuclear fallout? 1.3943 0.04788 175 120 41 14
283 Bet he blows right through the next water stop. 1.3942 0.05319 137 93 34 10
284 How long has that prick been following us? 1.3938 0.04820 193 137 36 20
285 Look, it must be the new border security! 1.3936 0.04615 188 129 44 15
286 Do you remember that article we didn’t believe about species migration due to climate change? 1.3936 0.04553 188 128 46 14
287 Looks like Joe Arpaio's Senate run officially started. 1.3936 0.04855 188 133 36 19
288 Oh, Bill, he just wants a hug. 1.3936 0.04737 188 131 40 17
289 You shouldn't have called him spineless. 1.3936 0.04913 188 134 34 20
290 Stop running! It's just trying to surrender... 1.3936 0.04737 188 131 40 17
291 He’s emigrating from Bears Ears National Monument and asking for asylum. 1.3934 0.04952 183 130 34 19
292 You said peyote does what again? 1.3929 0.04704 168 113 44 11
293 Killers, rapists, and CACTUSES. He forgot to mention the cactuses. 1.3925 0.04710 186 129 41 16
294 He's a bit of a prick, but he's a good runner 1.3925 0.04772 186 130 39 17
295 Just ignore it -we'll head it off at the next mirage. 1.3925 0.04257 186 122 55 9
296 See what happens when you over water a cactus. 1.3925 0.04585 186 127 45 14
297 Honey, look. A cactus with a carbon footprint 1.3925 0.04648 186 128 43 15
298 Watch out; it's armed! 1.3925 0.04585 186 127 45 14
299 Better pick it up or we're gonna get stuck out here! 1.3925 0.04585 186 127 45 14
300 Howard, I think he just wants a hug. 1.3925 0.04648 186 128 43 15
301 Lois, I told you not to feed it, now its going to follow us home. 1.3925 0.04457 186 125 49 12
302 For the last time, you cannot interest us in a timeshare! 1.3911 0.04708 179 123 42 14
303 Try pumping your arms a little. 1.3892 0.04469 185 125 48 12
304 He's doing very well for a 200-year-old Saguaro. 1.3892 0.04598 185 127 44 14
305 How come Cactus Bob leaves tracks and we don't. 1.3892 0.04847 185 131 36 18
306 Wait! He's surrendering. 1.3880 0.04632 183 126 43 14
307 Since this is clearly a dream, why aren't you better looking? 1.3880 0.04632 183 126 43 14
308 No, Jim, I don't think it's just the peyote. 1.3873 0.05022 173 123 33 17
309 I think this prick is following us. 1.3867 0.04984 181 130 32 19
310 No, ICE uniforms look different. 1.3867 0.04984 181 130 32 19
311 It's not as fast as the snowman. 1.3867 0.04666 181 125 42 14
312 Apparently he wasn't held much as a child. 1.3867 0.05106 181 132 28 21
313 It can't be much farther to Burning Man. 1.3855 0.04961 179 128 33 18
314 Strange, yes, Harry, but I think even stranger that we don't leave any footprints as we run. 1.3855 0.04961 179 128 33 18
315 Next time, let's not order the cactus chaser with the tequila. 1.3846 0.05241 169 123 27 19
316 Honey, what are the symptoms of runner's high? 1.3846 0.04894 169 118 37 14
317 I think I’m being stalked! 1.3842 0.04599 177 121 44 12
318 But Lord - Why is there only one set of footprints? 1.3842 0.05064 177 128 30 19
319 How can a cactus leave footprints when we don't. 1.3842 0.04870 177 125 36 16
320 Remember how I said my Ex was a big prick who wouldn't stop following me around? 1.3842 0.05000 177 127 32 18
321 I think he’s better than our last personal trainer. 1.3837 0.04832 172 120 38 14
322 Why did you provoke him? I told you he was prickly. 1.3829 0.04908 175 124 35 16
323 Might be a good idea not to mention you voted for Trump next time we visit Death Valley 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
324 Babe, look, it's Gumby's weird cousin. 1.3824 0.05011 170 121 33 16
325 Sorry, but I think your personal trainer is a real prick. 1.3820 0.04647 178 123 42 13
326 Trump's new plan for border security. 1.3820 0.04912 178 127 34 17
327 Hurry up, Frank. He is going to cactus. 1.3815 0.05212 173 127 26 20
328 I don’t know, honey, this new trainer’s kind of a prick. 1.3815 0.04879 173 122 36 15
329 No David, I didn't say I'm out of practice, I said there's a... 1.3815 0.04809 173 121 38 14
330 Why don’t we leave footprints? 1.3815 0.05081 173 125 30 18
331 The bad news is, we're going to have to stop for water before it does. 1.3815 0.04446 173 116 48 9
332 Honey, can you list off side effects of climate change again? 1.3815 0.04739 173 120 40 13
333 Wow, even the plants in our National Parks are running scared from this administration... 1.3810 0.05052 168 120 32 16
334 I told you not to pee on it. 1.3810 0.04981 168 119 34 15
335 Honey...I'm pretty sure that sign DID say 'Area 51'. 1.3810 0.04686 168 115 42 11
336 This is the best personal trainer we've had yet 1.3810 0.04686 168 115 42 11
337 How come we're not leaving footprints? 1.3807 0.04951 176 126 33 17
338 I think I’m experiencing my first ‘runner’s high.’ 1.3793 0.05277 145 102 31 12
339 I think it’s trying to surrender. 1.3765 0.04489 170 115 46 9
340 "What's the harm," you said, "of snapping off one pointy spine to get what's stuck between your teeth," you said. 1.3765 0.04933 170 121 34 15
341 We can stop running, Jim. He surrenders. 1.3750 0.04900 168 119 35 14
342 This is no time to discuss the correct plural of cactus! 1.3750 0.04753 168 117 39 12
343 Well, it’s prickly, stiff, and pretending to surrender. I think it’s your dad. 1.3750 0.04973 168 120 33 15
344 Wait, I think he has a thorn in his foot. 1.3750 0.04600 168 115 43 10
345 You really should stop and hydrate. 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
346 I TOLD you this is where they used to test atom bombs!!! 1.3742 0.04930 163 115 35 13
347 He's been up in arms since this desert started to get gentrified. 1.3735 0.05013 166 119 32 15
348 Story of my life: one small prick and now he won't leave me alone. 1.3735 0.05157 166 121 28 17
349 For a two hundred year old he can run pretty fast. 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
350 Just let your arms swing more naturally. 1.3735 0.04475 166 112 46 8
351 I think we're being stalked... 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
352 Slow poke. 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
353 Don't worry, it's just a dry run. 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
354 He’s pretty speedy for a succulent 1.3735 0.04866 166 117 36 13
355 That prick is trying to pass us. 1.3720 0.05272 164 121 25 18
356 It wants a forever home. How do we tell it we live in Buffalo? 1.3720 0.04905 164 116 35 13
357 I'm sure it seems just as strange to him that we're running in the desert. 1.3720 0.04981 164 117 33 14
358 This is where I pass you, Ed. 1.3713 0.04690 167 116 40 11
359 Honey, we have to raise our hands, it's an arms race. 1.3713 0.05060 167 121 30 16
360 It's still upset over my affair with the Christmas tree. 1.3711 0.04851 159 111 37 11
361 You know that cactus you said looked so alone out here? 1.3704 0.05172 162 118 28 16
362 When you described your trainer as succulent, I imagined something else. 1.3704 0.05172 162 118 28 16
363 Here today, gone saguaro. 1.3704 0.04945 162 115 34 13
364 If DACA gets extended, you won't have to wear it. 1.3704 0.05246 162 119 26 17
365 We're being followed by Gumby's Mexican cousin. 1.3704 0.04945 162 115 34 13
366 The latest in high tech border security. 1.3704 0.05319 162 120 24 18
367 Hurry up, I think he wants a hug 1.3704 0.04541 162 110 44 8
368 We must be going in circles. That cactus has passed us before. 1.3704 0.05098 162 117 30 15
369 Maybe you should not have peed on that cactus! 1.3704 0.05098 162 117 30 15
370 I just need a hug! 1.3704 0.05319 162 120 24 18
371 It wasn't the first time a giant prick had approached her from behind. 1.3704 0.05172 162 118 28 16
372 Stop following us you prick 1.3704 0.05319 162 120 24 18
373 Seems everybody is trying to get in their 10,000 steps these days. 1.3691 0.04795 149 102 39 8
374 How will we know when the peyote kicks in? 1.3687 0.05510 160 121 19 20
375 I thought Spike was the name of your dog. 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
376 Their tequila marketing program is exceptional. 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
377 He's a rather a prickly character. I'd keep my distance if I was you. 1.3687 0.04660 160 110 41 9
378 Pick up the pace, I think it's going to cactus. 1.3687 0.05064 160 115 31 14
379 You picked the wrong cactus to pee on. 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
380 Run faster before he sticks it to us! 1.3681 0.05146 163 119 28 16
381 I think he's trying to get out before he get's stuck with the bill for the wall. 1.3673 0.04835 147 101 38 8
382 He's been gaining ground ever since we pulled out of the Paris Climate Accords. 1.3671 0.04947 158 112 34 12
383 I’m okay with it as long as it doesn’t try to high five me at the finish line. 1.3671 0.04149 158 103 52 3
384 That's far enough. You've made your point. 1.3671 0.04431 158 106 46 6
385 I'm going to be accused of fake news, I just know it! 1.3671 0.05263 158 116 26 16
386 I thought you said the Nevada Test Site was no longer radioactive. 1.3671 0.04610 158 108 42 8
387 I'm not sure if it's just needling us. 1.3671 0.04696 158 109 40 9
388 Why do good trainers all gotta be such pricks? 1.3671 0.05339 158 117 24 17
389 I think it's one of those new border patrol agents. 1.3671 0.05028 158 113 32 13
390 I think that peyote we took at mile 22 is catching up with us. 1.3665 0.04960 161 115 33 13
391 Don't you find the scenery here very moving? 1.3660 0.04706 153 105 40 8
392 Did Mexico agree to pay for one large cactus instead? 1.3660 0.04973 153 108 34 11
393 Bob...this is the LAST time we're jogging near Area 51. 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
394 Run, it's a stickup! 1.3659 0.04971 164 118 32 14
395 That's the last time we order cactus chasers after our margaritas! 1.3655 0.05162 145 103 31 11
396 Couldn't we just have gotten a Fitbit for motivation? 1.3654 0.04820 156 109 37 10
397 I heard they grow by sending out runners. 1.3654 0.05071 156 112 31 13
398 Are you sure those mushrooms were safe to eat? 1.3648 0.05002 159 114 32 13
399 I think it just wants a hug. 1.3648 0.05235 159 117 26 16
400 What did you say your ex looked like? 1.3648 0.05002 159 114 32 13
401 Are you sure that was just tequila? 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
402 Honey, is there a running of the cacti like in Pamplona? 1.3642 0.04650 151 103 41 7
403 Now that Trump is in office, the illegal aliens are becoming more creative. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
404 Maybe just carrying a water bottle would have been a better idea. 1.3636 0.04859 154 108 36 10
405 We do feel your pain but can't embrace it. 1.3636 0.05031 154 110 32 12
406 Will you please tell your mother she’s not fooling anybody. 1.3636 0.04771 154 107 38 9
407 Why am I always followed by giant pricks. 1.3636 0.05514 154 116 20 18
408 I told you not to water it. 1.3636 0.05113 143 101 32 10
409 Honey, what were those symptoms of dehydration again? 1.3636 0.04771 154 107 38 9
410 Run until he turns into tequila. 1.3636 0.04946 154 109 34 11
411 Forget the rattlesnakes and poisonous spiders, I've got one more for you. 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
412 Step up the pace; we're about to be passed by a vegetable. 1.3636 0.04771 154 107 38 9
413 This living desert thing is starting to freak me out! 1.3636 0.05031 154 110 32 12
414 Maybe it just wants a hug. 1.3631 0.04795 157 110 37 10
415 " Harry, remember those mushrooms we had at lunch"? 1.3631 0.05203 157 115 27 15
416 Hey Charles, are you seeing this guy running in front of me, or is the peyote kicking in? 1.3631 0.05582 157 120 17 20
417 John, when you texted Grinder, did you ask for tall dark and horny, or tall dark and thorny? 1.3624 0.05147 149 107 30 12
418 Say, about your ex-girlfriend, the one you described as "succulent"... 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
419 Absolutely not, Fiona. No more stray plants! 1.3624 0.04782 149 103 38 8
420 I've read that global warming is already speeding up evolution. 1.3624 0.04686 149 102 40 7
421 Relax. He's in a different qualifying heat. 1.3613 0.05169 155 113 28 14
422 What did Trump pay THEM to guard the border??? 1.3605 0.04917 147 103 35 9
423 I ordered tequila—not a cactus chaser! 1.3605 0.05283 147 107 27 13
424 I think I would much prefer the wall 1.3595 0.04961 153 109 33 11
425 Oh, this is just a dry run. 1.3595 0.05296 153 113 25 15
426 No wait, I think he is trying to surrender. 1.3595 0.04961 153 109 33 11
427 I know he’s cute but he’ll just be a thorn in your side 1.3586 0.05421 145 107 24 14
428 I think it wants you to pee on it again. 1.3576 0.05090 151 109 30 12
429 Faster – it wants a hug. 1.3576 0.05090 151 109 30 12
430 Herb! Don’t look now but that prick from the hotel is following us. 1.3576 0.04823 151 106 36 9
431 Don't stop. He knows we're full of water. 1.3576 0.05261 151 111 26 14
432 I told you we shouldn't come to the park during the Government shutdown. 1.3566 0.05002 143 101 33 9
433 Maybe they were right about climate change AND evolution. 1.3566 0.05195 143 103 29 11
434 I think I'm over my fear of bears. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
435 Come back, it's free hugs Friday! 1.3557 0.04673 149 103 39 7
436 how do we tell him we don't want a hug? 1.3557 0.04955 149 106 33 10
437 We didn't mean to offend you, "succulent" and "prickly" are just descriptive adjectives! 1.3557 0.04673 149 103 39 7
438 Just how close are we to Area 51? 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
439 Did you notice, it just breezed by the last water station. 1.3557 0.04769 149 104 37 8
440 That cactus must have gotten a fitbit for Christmas too. 1.3557 0.04474 149 101 43 5
441 Hey, Hon? I have something that will take your mind right off that blister. 1.3557 0.04863 149 105 35 9
442 Is Mexico paying for that too? 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
443 That prick is still following us 1.3557 0.05393 149 111 23 15
444 This prick also wants to follow me on Instagram. 1.3557 0.05309 149 110 25 14
445 I just wonder if he'll get along with our walking palm. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
446 I think we should just let him pass us. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
447 I hate that guy... he's such a prick! 1.3537 0.05358 147 109 24 14
448 We're legal, Mr. Trump. 1.3537 0.05529 147 111 20 16
449 Stop. Maybe it just wants a hug. 1.3537 0.05270 147 108 26 13
450 Hope I'm that fast when I'm 200. 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
451 I know it can go longer between water stops! That's not what worries me. 1.3537 0.04808 147 103 36 8
452 He has an unfair advantage .... he doesn't have to hydrate! 1.3517 0.05496 145 109 21 15
453 Every time desert is spelled with one 's' a cactus gets his wings. 1.3517 0.05408 145 108 23 14
454 Chased by a succulent... check. 1.3517 0.05135 145 105 29 11
455 He knows that our bodies are sixty per cent water. 1.3517 0.04847 145 102 35 8
456 He won't settle down until he finds his roots. 1.3517 0.04847 145 102 35 8
457 You could have resisted calling him a succulent! 1.3497 0.05276 143 105 26 12
458 He's just trying to find his roots. 1.3497 0.05182 143 104 28 11
459 That stupid prick just won't go away! 1.3497 0.05549 143 108 20 15
460 Keep hydrated! 1.3497 0.05086 143 103 30 10
461 Was this in the brochure?! 1.3497 0.05182 143 104 28 11
462 Doesn't it bug you that it's the only one of us leaving footprints? 1.3497 0.04786 143 100 36 7
463 Must be a deserter. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
464 Run faster! That prick’s closing in! 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
465 It thinks you said catch us, not cactus! 1.3497 0.05086 143 103 30 10
466 I thought your ex lived in the Sahara. 1.3497 0.05459 143 107 22 14
467 They say the desert never really leaves you. 1.3497 0.04786 143 100 36 7
468 That prick is still following us 1.3497 0.05459 143 107 22 14
469 Why is it signalling a touchdown ? 1.3493 0.05106 146 106 29 11
470 Somehow he understood the "Hands up" but not the "Don't move" part. 1.3475 0.05031 141 101 31 9
471 Pick up the pace—we don’t want to be stuck with this guy. 1.3475 0.04930 141 100 33 8
472 You think we can go back to the days when they were only sending rapists? 1.3475 0.05229 141 103 27 11
473 Prick. 1.3475 0.05419 141 105 23 13
474 I think he saw the water bottles. 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
475 How much further to the mirage? 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
476 Cac-walk. 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
477 I only want a hug! 1.3475 0.05031 141 101 31 9
478 He says he just wants us to get him out of this s$&@hole. 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
479 Honey I think this prick is following us. 1.3475 0.05031 141 101 31 9
480 I always attract the pricks 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
481 You shouldn't have fed him, Ralph, now he's going to follow us home! 1.3475 0.05229 141 103 27 11
482 This would never have happened if Trump had built his wall. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
483 Wow,someone's taking this Cactus Run way too literally. 1.3453 0.05375 139 103 24 12
484 I don't think it liked when you said it was "spineless". 1.3453 0.05277 139 102 26 11
485 Joe, stop. He's trying to tell us something. 1.3453 0.04866 139 98 34 7
486 All I want is a hug. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
487 I'm never drinking tequila again. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
488 It has a dry sense of humor. 1.3453 0.05277 139 102 26 11
489 Talk about invasive 1.3435 0.05284 131 95 27 9
490 For a succulent you must admit he's got good form. 1.3431 0.04908 137 97 33 7
491 I knew it was called the Saguaro 5K, but.... 1.3431 0.05427 137 102 23 12
492 These mirages are getting more aggressive. 1.3431 0.05122 137 99 29 9
493 I hate crossing the free range cactus ranch. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
494 Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ? 1.3431 0.05427 137 102 23 12
495 I think government surveillance has gone too far! 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
496 I don't get it... he's run this whole race and hasn't stopped for water. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
497 Great, I knew we shouldn't have gone so near the old a-bomb test site. 1.3431 0.04908 137 97 33 7
498 I guess the drought is worse than we thought. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
499 Honey, I think he’s excited to see me. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
500 Relax, you can join us, but no hugging. 1.3431 0.04908 137 97 33 7
501 Uh-oh, this one's a hugger. 1.3431 0.05327 137 101 25 11
502 "I don't know if the plural is cactuses or cacti - JUST RUN!' 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
503 No more hugs!! 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
504 Speed up, I heard he is kind of a prick. 1.3409 0.05466 132 98 23 11
505 I didn't know that cacti put out runners! 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
506 I told you not to pet it. Now it's following us home. 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
507 Fred sure has a running outfit for every ocassion 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
508 Keep it up. He’s running dry. 1.3407 0.04950 135 96 32 7
509 Who comes to the desert dressed like that?!?! 1.3407 0.05480 135 101 22 12
510 I know we’re not supposed to take a cactus out of the wilderness area, but he seems to have developed an attachment. 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
511 I think the last night's mezcal is catching up with me. 1.3407 0.05480 135 101 22 12
512 We're in trouble. He will never need a water break. 1.3407 0.04950 135 96 32 7
513 Don't stop, it's still trying to cactus 1.3407 0.05580 135 102 20 13
514 Jack, what’s tall, green, spiny and jogs in the desert? 1.3407 0.05480 135 101 22 12
515 Wait, he's got his hands up. 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
516 Keep running, Marcy! Climate change displacement is real. 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
517 Is this runner's high? 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
518 It’s the boulder following him that worries me. 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
519 He’s after our fluids. 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
520 Faster – it wants a hug. 1.3383 0.05636 133 101 19 13
521 I'm caught between two pricks. 1.3383 0.05534 133 100 21 12
522 I am emigrating, since I have never made deep roots in Mexico. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
523 He'll finish. He's got great form and an unlimited water supply. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
524 Honey, I think we're in a bit of a prickle. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
525 Back off! Hell hath no fury like a woman thorned. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
526 It may be GMO but happy to see it's free range 1.3383 0.05217 133 97 27 9
527 He gets a little prickly when he loses. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
528 Honey, I'm fairly certain we are being pursued by a real pain in the ass. 1.3383 0.05217 133 97 27 9
529 When you said you ex was a 'little prickly', what exactly did you mean? 1.3383 0.05217 133 97 27 9
530 Excuse me! Do you know the fastest way around the wall? 1.3383 0.05534 133 100 21 12
531 Look Donald! Big hands. Big prick. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
532 Well at least we won't come in last! 1.3383 0.04760 133 93 35 5
533 No, Fred, stop. I think it just wants to talk. 1.3383 0.04760 133 93 35 5
534 It was hard finding you guys, you don't leave any tracks! 1.3383 0.04993 133 95 31 7
535 Ugh, that prick is still following us 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
536 Not me! It's your dry wit he's attracted to. 1.3383 0.05217 133 97 27 9
537 Promise me, Steve...no more Peyote! 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
538 They weren’t shiitake mushrooms!! 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
539 You shouldn't have been so argumentative, Bob. He has some good points. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
540 Maybe genetically modified cactus wasn't your best idea. 1.3380 0.04457 142 98 40 4
541 Dad, if he follows us home, can we keep him? 1.3359 0.04920 131 93 32 6
542 Now that’s a dry run 1.3359 0.05376 131 97 24 10
543 I love that it's a living desert. 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
544 Is this one of those bad hombres we've been hearing about? 1.3359 0.05376 131 97 24 10
545 Hey! Don’t go!” I know it looks like a big middle finger.. but I just wanted to welcome you to Arizona! 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
546 It's just another dry run. 1.3359 0.05376 131 97 24 10
547 These new border guards are real pricks. 1.3359 0.05694 131 100 18 13
548 Once you give them a little water, they'll follow you everywhere. 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
549 He must want a mirage a trois. 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
550 You ever get that feeling that maybe we aren't as fast as we used to be? 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
551 Adios tourists! Go back to your shithole country! 1.3359 0.05897 131 102 14 15
552 Don't worry, it's not in our age division. 1.3359 0.05376 131 97 24 10
553 You'll make better time if you pump your arms. 1.3359 0.04920 131 93 32 6
554 Cacti or cactuses? Who knew he would be so prickly about it. 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
555 You're right ... it IS funnier without a caption 1.3359 0.05694 131 100 18 13
556 In two years he will have to stop for water and we can gain some ground on him. 1.3359 0.04799 131 92 34 5
557 I think he's afraid we'll desert him. 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
558 Who wants a hug? 1.3359 0.05590 131 99 20 12
559 Climate change is catching up, Leonard. 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
560 You're sure this isn't a nuclear test area? 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
561 I feel so good about adopting instead of buying one from a cacti farm. 1.3359 0.05484 131 98 22 11
562 C’mon guys—don’t desert me. 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
563 Atticus, a cactus has attacked us! 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
564 You just had to call him a spineless coward 1.3359 0.05484 131 98 22 11
565 I hate pricks. 1.3359 0.05797 131 101 16 14
566 Honey, don't look now but we're being followed by a big prick. 1.3359 0.05590 131 99 20 12
567 I don't think we're in Arizona anymore. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
568 So much for that restraining order. 1.3358 0.05291 134 99 25 10
569 We should have listened to Al Gore 1.3333 0.05120 132 96 28 8
570 Keep running, sweetie. That guy's a huge prick. 1.3333 0.05232 132 97 26 9
571 We should've gotten a dog. 1.3333 0.05648 129 98 19 12
572 Most people just carry a bottle of water 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
573 Trump was wrong, this is way more effective than a wall. 1.3333 0.05754 129 99 17 13
574 Bears Ears has changed since the uranium mines moved in... 1.3333 0.04963 129 92 31 6
575 Honey, you remember how you thought is was funny to pee on that cactus? 1.3333 0.05083 129 93 29 7
576 Hot sand, hot, hot. 1.3333 0.05120 132 96 28 8
577 They’re definitely harder to spot, but I wonder how effective border patrol can be in their new uniforms. 1.3333 0.05083 129 93 29 7
578 Was there pot in that energy bar you gave me? 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
579 Next time I pick the 5K. 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
580 I gotta stop eating the worm. 1.3308 0.05167 130 95 27 8
581 Never again will I book an Airbnb "Experience"! 1.3308 0.05503 130 98 21 11
582 At least it's a dry kind of hot pursuit. 1.3307 0.05707 127 97 18 12
583 Looks like the U.S. government couldn't afford a wall... 1.3307 0.05596 127 96 20 11
584 He was member of Cactaceae crime family in Arizona before witness protection brought him here. 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
585 I told you not to water it more than once a week! 1.3307 0.05368 127 94 24 9
586 I sure hope the wall isn’t up yet. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
587 Looks like it's going to stick with us. 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
588 Who's a 'proud hippy tree-hugger' now, huh? 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
589 Go faster...he wants a hug! 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
590 Well, you're a tall drink of water. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
591 Facebook said he was a good trainer, but with a dry sense of humor. 1.3307 0.05707 127 97 18 12
592 He must chafe like crazy. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
593 Hey, it's me, Gumby! I just couldn't shave today. Really! 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
594 Definitely an improvement over the pet rock... 1.3304 0.05757 115 86 20 9
595 They’re cute when they’re little but then they grow up to be such monsters. 1.3304 0.05135 112 79 29 4
596 Honey, I think my runner's high has gone off on a tangent. 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
597 Maybe it's only fleeing formerly protected federal land 1.3281 0.04849 128 91 32 5
598 Uh, honey? We have a bit of a prickly situation here... 1.3280 0.04789 125 88 33 4
599 Hurry up, I think he wants a hug 1.3280 0.05539 125 94 21 10
600 Right now, I'm not a big fan of evolution. 1.3280 0.04922 125 89 31 5
601 Run faster, or he'll cactus. 1.3280 0.05539 125 94 21 10
602 How come IT has footprints and we don't have any??? 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
603 "CREEPING desertification", they said... 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
604 Honey, do you remember that grilled baby cactus we ate last night? 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
605 Your secret service detail has gotten so much better at being unobtrusive! 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
606 I need to get my plants out more. 1.3280 0.04653 125 87 35 3
607 He says it's time to put the 'us' back in cactus 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
608 You left the gate open again. 1.3280 0.05654 125 95 19 11
609 And you said the 'Cactus Running Trail' wouldn't be a challenge.... 1.3280 0.04922 125 89 31 5
610 Your wife is having us followed again! 1.3254 0.05501 126 95 21 10
611 I just need to outrun you. 1.3254 0.05384 126 94 23 9
612 It's not the fauna I'm worried about, Bob. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
613 These days you can't go anywhere without some prick trying to touch you. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
614 Come back! Don't desert me! 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
615 I know it's your dream, but that's a succulent, not a succubus. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
616 I've got a prickly feeling we are being followed. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
617 We will never outrun him, he is drought tolerant! 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
618 Don't look now, but there's a big prick behind us. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
619 I do one search about a cactus, and it pops up everywhere and follows me around. 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
620 Forget the aloe, Vera. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
621 If you can't keep up with us, your nothing more than a thorn in our side. 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
622 We don't want to play the hokey pokey with you! 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
623 Honey, I think that prick is following us again. 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
624 I hate jogging with this prick. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
625 And you thought the sand was quick. 1.3226 0.05063 124 90 28 6
626 I think the acid is kicking in. 1.3226 0.05674 124 95 18 11
627 I think those mushrooms are kicking in. 1.3226 0.05438 124 93 22 9
628 C'mon guys, group hug! 1.3226 0.05316 124 92 24 8
629 He must be in great shape. I can't even hear him photosynthesize. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
630 Paranoid, schmaranoid! I tell you we're being followed. 1.3223 0.05655 121 92 19 10
631 You're right, your ex is weird 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
632 Look, it's following us North, must be global warming. 1.3223 0.05775 121 93 17 11
633 Honey, did you leave the cactus running? 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
634 Looks like the base has been mobilized. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
635 Harvey, forget the snakes. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
636 That guy's become a real thorn in my side. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
637 I was hoping for a burning bush. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
638 Why is IT leaving footprints...and we aren’t? 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
639 I hear, "Yucca, yucca, yucca." He's laughing at us! 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
640 My botanist says walking is good for the spine. 1.3223 0.05655 121 92 19 10
641 Looks like he's determined to stick with us. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
642 Prick. 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
643 I think the recreational marijuana is kicking in. 1.3220 0.05757 118 90 18 10
644 You were right, Brad. Saguaros don't grow in this part of the desert; but they do hunt here. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
645 Quit being such a giant prick! 1.3200 0.05859 125 98 14 13
646 Honey, this prick's following us 1.3197 0.05965 122 96 13 13
647 Either we're running in place or there's a cactus following us. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
648 The beer was good but you shouldn't have ordered the chaser. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
649 When was the last atomic bomb test? 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
650 Jerry, seriously, I don't think it's an optical illusion. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
651 I told you Gumby wouldn't like acupuncture! 1.3193 0.05838 119 92 16 11
652 What makes you think my father is overprotective? 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
653 They hired a bunch of them until he builds the wall! 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
654 Move faster. I don't want to get stuck out here 1.3193 0.05838 119 92 16 11
655 Hey Dave, what are the symptoms of heat exhaustion? 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
656 Barbara began to regret her trip to the sweat lodge... 1.3193 0.05959 119 93 14 12
657 I only need to run faster than you. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
658 I can't shake this prick. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
659 How can he go this long without water! 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
660 there once was a desert agave whose footsteps were rico and suave the runners weren't clear if the spines they should fear so they left with much haste the Mohave 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
661 Building The Wall would have been a lot less creepy. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
662 As the heat intensified, the desert became a much more hostile environment for Judy and Steve. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
663 Mexico's answer to paying for the border wall. 1.3167 0.05674 120 92 18 10
664 His camouflage is improving. Last week he was a yucca plant! 1.3167 0.05674 120 92 18 10
665 It's nice here, but not the kind of place to put your roots down. 1.3162 0.05516 117 88 21 8
666 He probably just needs a hug. 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
667 I think I realize why they call this the Cactus 5K 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
668 I told you not to call it a giant pickle! 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
669 How strong was that peyote? 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
670 Hurry! Our hallucinations are catching up with us! 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
671 Honey hurry! That cacti is going to cactus!! 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
672 Maybe all he wants is a hug. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
673 The Abominable Snowman: The Retirement Years 1.3162 0.05903 117 91 15 11
674 This has to be climate change related. 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
675 The Arizona primary is getting weird. 1.3162 0.05777 117 90 17 10
676 I suppose this is what we get for trying to harvest our own aloe vera. 1.3162 0.05516 117 88 21 8
677 It's probably just climate change, Sue. Pretend you don't notice. 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
678 Tom, do you believe in evolution? 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
679 Cacti really are incredibly adaptive. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
680 How do you hold your arms up for so long without feeling pins and needles? 1.3162 0.05648 117 89 19 9
681 Wait, guys! Why are you deserting me? 1.3162 0.05648 117 89 19 9
682 It's okay, he's got his hands up. 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
683 So, Bob, what exactly did you mean by "nature walk"? 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
684 Hey honey, I think the drugs are finally kicking in. 1.3158 0.05033 114 82 28 4
685 Bob! I told you that eating peyote before we jog isn't a good idea! 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
686 So much for that restraining order. 1.3137 0.04823 102 71 30 1
687 But, I thought a mirage was supposed to be in front of you. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
688 Yes, he’s losing more than us, but it’s mostly water weight. 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
689 You know how you're always saying the desert is so boring? 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
690 The guides on the trip are really authentic. 1.3130 0.04997 115 83 28 4
691 I've never seen him stop for water. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
692 Honey, is this a bad hombre? 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
693 First time? Don't push yourself to hard, and make sure you hydrate. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
694 You warned me not to water it: Now the damn thing has imprinted on me! 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
695 A stickup? Really? 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
696 Catch as Catch Can but Can Cactus Catchus? 1.3130 0.05970 115 90 14 11
697 Sure , we can run faster , but it doesn't have to stop for water every 15 minutes! 1.3130 0.05709 115 88 18 9
698 I think we watered it too much. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
699 Personally, I like the convenience of a regular water bottle. 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
700 This is not what I expected Burning Man to be like. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
701 This isn't quite what I imagined when you asked me to help you walk your pet Spike. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
702 Gosh, I wish this prick would stop following us! 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
703 Prickly Moving Fence: The cheaper border security technology. 1.3130 0.06097 115 91 12 12
704 Mulder, it IS following us! 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
705 I'm pretty sure that cactus is making inappropriate gestures. 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
706 Don't look at me. I'm dying for a drink of water, too. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
707 Wait up...there's a thorn in my foot! 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
708 If he catches us, we’ll be a prickly pair. 1.3130 0.05841 115 89 16 10
709 The marketing for cactus water is getting really aggressive. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
710 Honey, let's hurry before we find ourselves in a sticky situation. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
711 If you like this Cactus Run, you're gonna love the Giant Sequoia Run. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
712 Don't worry,he's surrendering. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
713 Try not to plant your feet. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
714 Just keep running. It will never cactus. 1.3130 0.05709 115 88 18 9
715 It’s not fair. You never have to stop for water. 1.3130 0.04997 115 83 28 4
716 Invasive Species? I'd say "rude" is more like it! 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
717 You can’t keep saying ‘fake news’ after everything I say. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
718 Where is Alexa when you need her? 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
719 I think he just wants to be hugged. 1.3125 0.04917 112 80 29 3
720 No, wait! I don't want to hurt you, I just want a hug! 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
721 He'll pass us when we have to take a water break. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
722 Wait, don’t run away! It’s lonely out here, and I just need a hug! 1.3125 0.05953 112 87 15 10
723 I hope it's just the mescaline kicking in. 1.3119 0.05326 109 80 24 5
724 "Remember what you said about desert mushrooms being edible? 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
725 I knew hiking on a former nuclear test site would be a bad idea. 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
726 Certainly more menacing than that prickly pear that followed us last year. 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
727 Alexa, this wasn't what I meant by running spikes 1.3103 0.05666 116 89 18 9
728 Talk about walking on pins and needles. 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
729 Please, take me with you! I've been deserted. 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
730 Maybe we should turn off our trackers. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
731 Should we pick up the pace? A 100 year old cactus is keeping up. 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
732 Johnny, you're not you when you're thirsty. 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
733 We're also trying to lose some water weight. 1.3097 0.04882 113 81 29 3
734 Wouldn’t it have been easier to carry a water bottle? 1.3097 0.05041 113 82 27 4
735 You talk to him. I already told him we don't do threesomes. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
736 All I have to do is just outrun you. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
737 You're a real prick, man. 1.3097 0.05772 113 87 17 9
738 I feel that Peyote is really kicking in 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
739 He's not going to let us desert him. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
740 Hurry honey or it’s gonna cactus. 1.3097 0.05907 113 88 15 10
741 What does this prick want? 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
742 This is NOT what I expected when you asked me to join you for the Phoenix 5k Cactus Run! 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
743 I told you to be careful about overwatering 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
744 I think that prick is still following us. 1.3097 0.05907 113 88 15 10
745 I'm thinking, not a good day to be a tree-hugger! 1.3097 0.05195 113 83 25 5
746 Honey, I really don't think it's a mirage this time. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
747 Wait! I just want a hug! I'm lonely. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
748 I might be hallucinating but I think Barb forgot to shave her legs! 1.3097 0.05772 113 87 17 9
749 Honey, I think there is a cactus following us--or is it cacti--I never can remember. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
750 Our trainer is such a prick. 1.3097 0.05907 113 88 15 10
751 Honey is that prick still following us? 1.3097 0.05907 113 88 15 10
752 I told you we shouldn't have shared our peyote with it. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
753 I told you we should have gotten a dog! 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
754 John, take a rest while I jog ahead a bit. 1.3097 0.05195 113 83 25 5
755 He told me that he's running on behalf of global warming. 1.3097 0.05195 113 83 25 5
756 Remind me again why we're jogging through the Nevada test site? 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
757 Don't look now, but we're being stalked by a big prick. 1.3097 0.06169 113 90 11 12
758 Fred, you definitely stopped in the wrong place to pee. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
759 You guys run ahead. I'm getting that needles n' pins thing. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
760 Did you water the plants? 1.3097 0.05772 113 87 17 9
761 Well the first one was all wrong, so I said send me a two-foot cactus, make it attractive, and make it quick. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
762 No hug at the finish line, ok? 1.3097 0.05772 113 87 17 9
763 Remind me to never take acid in the desert again. 1.3091 0.05125 110 80 26 4
764 Is it just me, or is our new trainer a real prick? 1.3070 0.05861 114 89 15 10
765 Two arms up ... yep ... I'm pretty sure he wants to pass. 1.3070 0.05861 114 89 15 10
766 Where's Hopalong Cassidy when you need him? 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
767 I've heard of the living desert, but ...... ?? 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
768 I wouldn’t count out the national parks just yet. 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
769 I told you not to feed it. Now the damn thing's going to follow us home! 1.3063 0.05975 111 87 14 10
770 I’m not sure this border protection plan is such a good idea. 1.3063 0.05836 111 86 16 9
771 John, do you remember that tree where you took a leak? 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
772 The mirage is getting closer. 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
773 Honey, how long do these edibles last? 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
774 Our new Border Patrol is kind of creepy. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
775 This sounds whacky, but do you remember the moving forest in Macbeth? 1.3063 0.06110 111 88 12 11
776 Just keep jogging, it’s only trying to needle us. 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
777 Don't stop too suddenly. 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
778 I'm telling you, Jerry, that guy chasing us is a real prick. 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
779 Your arms are going to cramp up like that. 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
780 OK, so now I'm in favor of a wall. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
781 Yes, but is a giant-walking-death-cactus ever just a giant-walking-death-cactus? 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
782 It's heading north, climate change you know! 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
783 He’ll win. The fact that he doesn’t have to stop for water is a real competitive advantage. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
784 Hope this isn’t a relay race. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
785 You must admit, it's a sharp disguise. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
786 I think NSA is getting carried away with its surveillance programs. 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
787 Didn't I tell you not to feed it. 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
788 I can't tell if its a drug dealer or a rapist, do you see the wall yet? 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
789 Global warming is definitely accelerating. 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
790 You have to admit it’s more motivating than the music at the gym 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
791 C'mon! Just one hug. Is that really too much to ask for? 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
792 The mass exodus to Canada is worse than I thought! 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
793 What, exactly, did you say the radiation did to the plant life around here? 1.3036 0.05048 112 82 26 4
794 I think he's still mad you called him succulent. 1.3028 0.04964 109 79 27 3
795 Frank, I TOLD you not to poke it! 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
796 I warned you not to give it water. 1.3028 0.05132 109 80 25 4
797 Do you think the Peyote is working? 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
798 We can't just desert him. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
799 Latest impal-eo diet 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
800 I expected tumbleweeds, but this is ridiculous. 1.3028 0.05132 109 80 25 4
801 I've got to start cutting back on my pre-workout peyote bars. 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
802 Border Patrol has come up with a new surveillance device. 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
803 Don't be alarmed, since global warming, even they are following us to water and air conditioning. 1.3028 0.05132 109 80 25 4
804 I think we got too close to the border 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
805 "I told you not to say 'aloe' to it". 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
806 We might be ghosts. The cactus has footprints but we do not. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
807 He says he's not prickly just very sharp. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
808 Wait up! Don’t desert me! 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
809 Wouldn't it have been easier to carry our own water? 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
810 This intelligence-driven border security is giving me the creeps. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
811 Yes, but at least it's a dry heat! 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
812 Stop complaining! You knew when you signed up you didn't have a cardiovascular system. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
813 I should have never tried the peyote. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
814 I bet he won't stop at the water station. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
815 I think we underestimated the competition. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
816 Faster, he looks like a real prick. 1.3028 0.05902 109 85 15 9
817 Leave us alone, you prick! 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
818 Honey, I didn't think cactus needed that much attention. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
819 The peyote seeds are kicking in. 1.3028 0.05132 109 80 25 4
820 Of course its gaining on us, it never stops at the watering stations. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
821 You had to call it a prick, didn't you? 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
822 You weren't kidding when you said your personal trainer was a bit prickly. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
823 Todd looks a little dehydrated 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
824 Just like that prick to follow us 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
825 Hurry, he's gaining on us, and it looks like he's in a hugging mood! 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
826 Well despite what you think, I'm pretty sure those WERE peyote blossoms 1.3028 0.04964 109 79 27 3
827 Global warming… the northern migration. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
828 Honey, let's just join a gym... 1.3021 0.05155 96 69 25 2
829 I think the mescaline is catching up to us. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
830 Who cares if it's cactus or cacti it's chasing us! 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
831 Why did you call me a treehugger in front of it? 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
832 Our new trainer is a real prick. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
833 Here comes another one of those new border control security agents. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
834 I think I'm experiencing that Runner's High you're always talking about. 1.3019 0.06020 106 83 14 9
835 Honey, you know that new medication I'm on ..... 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
836 I think it wants a hug. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
837 I only want a hug! 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
838 That's it. Cha cha one two three. Cha cha one two three. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
839 How strong was that weed you got? 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
840 I knew that pipeline would cause problems. 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
841 Do you have a moment to talk about climate change? 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
842 This is either really good peyote or we just angered the locals. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
843 My personal trainer tends to get a little prickly if I slow down. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
844 My student loan collector is getting really aggressive. 1.2991 0.05821 107 83 16 8
845 "Don't let him heckle you, he's just being a prick." Shelley Rodgers, Alexandria, VA 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
846 He never sweats! 1.2991 0.05821 107 83 16 8
847 Siggy the Saguaro faced a thorny realization;he always hurt those closest to him. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
848 Don't desert me! 1.2991 0.06116 107 85 12 10
849 I just want a hug 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
850 Mi casa, su casa my ass. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
851 "Sorry, on the phone it sounded like 'training with Sue Woro' was a pilates class. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
852 On the brighter side we get a free Cardio session and maybe an Acupuncture too. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
853 "The Latin name is 'cacti perambulator,' I believe. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
854 Next year the beach, okay? 1.2981 0.04904 104 75 27 2
855 I think the Border Patrol is on to us... 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
856 It’s okay. Just another climate change manifestation. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
857 Maybe we should practice "Hands Up" before we get to the border. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
858 You'll run faster if you put your arms down. 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
859 What was it the guidebook said about moving landscapes? 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
860 Maybe he'll stop to poop. 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
861 Joe needs to hydrate more. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
862 You shouldn't have called him "prickly". 1.2952 0.05228 105 78 23 4
863 Don't worry he's not fast, he's quite pokey. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
864 Hope we don't get stuck out here. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
865 I told you that you shouldn't have called him a prick. 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
866 It knows there's water at the finish line. 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
867 I'ma tickle you! I'ma do it! 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
868 The ecology is more dynamic than I expected. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
869 Some prick is following us. 1.2952 0.06190 105 84 11 10
870 I really need to cut back on the edibles. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
871 I understand your point, but I still just don't believe in evolution. 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
872 Hey guys, don’t run away. It’s not true what they say...I’m not really a prick. 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
873 Hey guys, I've got water. All you have to do is lop off my head and drink from my innards. Guys? 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
874 Do you mind if I join you?" 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
875 Dear, are you sure we are still under the witness protection agency? 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
876 Okay, I’ll bite, Helen. How dry is it in Phoenix? 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
877 "Is the peyote working for you yet"? 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
878 Harold, that prick is still following us. 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
879 I don’t think you understand Jimmy. He’s saying this is a stick up. 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
880 Now that's a run for the border! 1.2952 0.05887 105 82 15 8
881 He's got tremendous stamina but you really have to stay on top of him about hydrating. 1.2952 0.05050 105 77 25 3
882 Wait. Who told you I was a prick? 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
883 I thought you'd said "Practice Run" ... 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
884 Is this what they meant by climate change? 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
885 I told you not to pronounce the -G-. 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
886 New border security drone, I guess. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
887 Run Lance! I think it’s going to cactus! 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
888 Just because I called you a slowpoke is no reason to get all prickly about it. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
889 I think it's just crossed the border and is asking for asylum. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
890 Just so you know, he's a hugger! 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
891 Shouldn't have called him rocket man... 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
892 This could be, a prickly situation. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
893 No, we don't want to hug you. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
894 We must be out of shape - the Saguaro is gaining on us! 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
895 All this water weight is slowing me down 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
896 Did you have to call him a phallic symbol? 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
897 Yeah. He's always been a prick. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
898 You wanted motivation. This is motivation. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
899 I think it's mad we used his peyote. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
900 Hey guys wait up! We're supposed to stick together! 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
901 Wait, let me finish my point. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
902 I think we're being followed. I'm getting a prickly sensation. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
903 "No ménage a trios! And that's final! 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
904 This situation is about to get prickly. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
905 I can't tell if it's in fight or flight mode. 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
906 Et tu, Cactus? 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
907 His form is going to really mess up his spine in the long run. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
908 Faster, Jamie. He's already killed the black character. 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
909 It knows we are 98% water. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
910 Come to think of it, maybe that WAS peyote tea. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
911 He seems to be taking the drought in stride. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
912 Honey, it's your turn to give it a hug today. 1.2913 0.05955 103 81 14 8
913 On your right.... 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
914 I'm beginning to change my mind about denying climate change. 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
915 Honey, I know we're pacing ourselves, but I think we need to speed up 1.2903 0.05203 93 68 23 2
916 They said the desert was alive! 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
917 Hey, why do I always have to carry the water? 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
918 Come back...I'm sorry I was a prick! 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
919 Hey...how tall is Secretary Zinke? 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
920 Isn't that the guy who passed us at the last water station? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
921 It doesn't want to be deserted. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
922 Did you remember to take your erectile dysfunction medicine today? 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
923 Can't take a little needling? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
924 And you complain that my legs are too prickly 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
925 It wants to surrender. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
926 Don't worry. It's not built for long distance. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
927 I'm rethinking all those times in my life when there was only one set of footprints. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
928 OK you were right, Crossfit would've been better 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
929 What did you say to him? You know how prickly the are. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
930 Wait, come back! I promise I'll stop talking about Bitcoin! 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
931 We've got some sharp competition. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
932 Actually, I think it just wants a hug. 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
933 You would not believe the chafing. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
934 I know you're in there Harold. You need to work on your trust issues. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
935 You're right. Your problems just follow you--even the thorny ones. 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
936 Frank, tell it we don’t have any water! 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
937 It’s either a touchdown or we’re in big trouble... 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
938 Either Ralph's retaining water or those weren't shiitake mushrooms we ate. 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
939 Wait, I think it wants to surrender. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
940 We're being followed by one of the locals. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
941 He's fine. He doesn't need a water break. 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
942 I think I mixed up our power bars with the peyote. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
943 I want to train for this 5k, but our coach is a prick 1.2871 0.06188 101 81 11 9
944 Bill, It just ate our shadows. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
945 We should never have tried that peyote followed by a tequila chaser. 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
946 HAVE YOU NOTICED WE AREN'T LEAVING ANY TRACKS? 1.2871 0.04943 101 74 25 2
947 I get the sense it gets very lonely out here. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
948 Maybe it just wants a hug. 1.2871 0.06026 101 80 13 8
949 Oh, this is just a dry run. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
950 He'll turn out to be spineless. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
951 Honey, before I tell you something, is it more correct to say Cactus, or Cacti? 1.2857 0.06110 91 71 14 6
952 If that cactus passes us, then we are really out of shape. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
953 I knew we should have built that wall! 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
954 Next time, I'm booking the vacation! 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
955 He's not wearing a Fit Bit, so he can't be serious about it. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
956 Don't desert me now! 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
957 Sorry, next time we’ll use the public restrooms. 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
958 Maybe we should reconsider the gym. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
959 'It's mostly water.' You said. 'They need water.' You said. 'I can't wait to go.' You said. 'It's no big deal.' You said. Well, it looks mad to me. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
960 The runner behind us is a giant prick. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
961 Run faster or I think it will cactus. 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
962 Don't worry, we'll loose him at the next watering hole. 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
963 Wait, I think he may just be trying to give himself up. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
964 did you forget to water the plants? 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
965 Run, Joe Arpaio is running for the Senate. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
966 Even the desert is full of pricks trying to harass me. 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
967 Relax. It's a vertical mirage. They never catch you. 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
968 No, I'm sorry, we haven't seen any young succulents... 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
969 I think we drank from the wrong cactus 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
970 The key to an exercise program is to stick with it. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
971 I told you they outlawed peyote for a reason! 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
972 George...let me take the lead for awhile... 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
973 Just don't stop short! 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
974 Honey, this is weird. Did you say succulent or succubus? 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
975 Well, as parallel universes go, this one is marginally better than the last one. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
976 He wants to know if we have water... 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
977 " Let's hope it's a vegetarian 1.2828 0.04982 99 73 24 2
978 Now do you believe me about global warming? 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
979 Honey, I don't think you should pee on any more cactus. 1.2812 0.06231 96 77 11 8
980 This prick just won’t stop. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
981 Well that's the last time I take LSD right before a run 1.2812 0.06404 96 78 9 9
982 Did you lie to the CIA about this trip? 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
983 I think it's a global warning. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
984 marco polo! 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
985 I thought once we were married, I’d been be done fighting off pricks. 1.2812 0.06231 96 77 11 8
986 The kids are getting better at tracking us. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
987 I feel like the peyote is starting to kick in. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
988 I hope he doesn't need a hug. 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
989 John! You have to turn around and see this! It’s amazing! They’re running without a Fitbit! 1.2812 0.06052 96 76 13 7
990 Must be the enhanced border security. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
991 Come back! I'm ORGANIC! 1.2812 0.05066 96 71 23 2
992 Wait, don't go. I didn't mean to be such a prick. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
993 That's even creepier than a wall! 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
994 Our competition has good form but a prickly disposition. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
995 No matter what I say, it won't believe we aren't the Border Patrol. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
996 So that's the cactus I saw near the nuclear power plant. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
997 Didn't we pass that cactus two dunes back? 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
998 Your mom has a new disguise. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
999 It seems friendly...maybe it was deserted. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1000 This running group is full of pricks. 1.2796 0.06552 93 76 8 9
1001 I told you never to make eye contact with the cacti! 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1002 I guess the restraining order did not work. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
1003 That's the last time I eat peyote before a workout. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1004 Well now everyone will know I've been doping. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1005 I don't know but it's been following us since since you said we live in shithole country. 1.2791 0.06544 86 69 10 7
1006 Honey, how long have we been out here? 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1007 He says he's concerned about his immigration status. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1008 Hey—race you to the wall! 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1009 Cactsquatch?! 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
1010 Maybe we met it at the Alswang's lawn party. It seems to know you, Harvey. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1011 Slow down, he's getting prickly again!!! 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1012 Don't you want a free hug? 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1013 We're in a prickly situation. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1014 I don't think we're in Arizona anymore. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1015 Don't panic. Like us it just wants to get out before the Government shutdown. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1016 I hope this is a Freudian nightmare! 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1017 Don't look now but that prick is following us! 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
1018 You better hurry up, or you'll find out what a real pain in the butt feels like. 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1019 Self-conscious about his water retention, Cactus was eager to join other resolutioners for a little exercise. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1020 The people that sign up for these 5k’s are real pricks 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1021 He says he is running for President? 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1022 We see you, so stop following us. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1023 I just remembered -- I forgot to water the plants. 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
1024 Deportation-to-Mexico rumors inspired him to start walking. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1025 Are saguaros a threatening species? 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1026 Climate change is catching up to us! 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1027 These global warming adaptations are getting out of hand 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1028 He's slow, alright, but he keeps passing us at the water tables. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1029 I don't think it's going to stay in Vegas! 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1030 Maybe it's time to join a gym 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1031 If it follows us home, can we keep it? 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1032 Ever since he got in to dry humor he's been a bit of a prick. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1033 I think it just wants to give us a hug. So keep moving. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1034 This is the last time we commune with nature. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1035 Couldn’t we just carry a water bottle like others? 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1036 Halt, you two. This is a stick up! 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1037 Well, either that's a cactus following us, or Bill didn't dodge the porcupine. 1.2766 0.06126 94 75 12 7
1038 This can't be good, needles to say. 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
1039 Hey, another chance for the New Yorker to pick a mindless caption! 1.2766 0.06310 94 76 10 8
1040 Are you sure you don't need any water? 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
1041 Oh, so now you're in for a mirage a trois? 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
1042 These hot desert runs can get very interesting. However, this hallucination is leaving tracks. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1043 I was expecting border security, but this is ridiculous! 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
1044 I'm pretty sure it's the same stray that followed us home yesterday. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1045 Sure pokes holes in the evolution theory. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1046 STOP.....he's got his hands up!!! 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1047 Wait, let me explain...I was talking about a different kind of prick. 1.2755 0.06116 98 79 11 8
1048 I think he said "Don't desert me". 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1049 Duuude, the Burning Man dildo plant exhibit is following us 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1050 Keep up with us, Spike – just work past the pins and needles. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1051 George, I think there's an ICE agent tailing us. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1052 Stop, George. Look. He's given up. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1053 Stop! I won't hurt you, I just need a Hug. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1054 Global warming is changing migration patterns. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1055 For god’s sake honey, just give him your Fitbit! 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1056 Saguaro see, saguaro do. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
1057 These roots are made for walking. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
1058 He really knows how to stay hydrated! 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
1059 I was actually happy with just the FitBit. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1060 Run! It's that annoying "Free Hugs" saguaro. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
1061 What's the plural of cactus footprints? footpri? 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1062 It's just a mirage! No shadow! 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
1063 You talked with him about hydration, right? 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
1064 Uhhm...Dear, we need to pick up the pace... we have a prickly situation developing behind us! 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1065 He's definitely got an advantage in this heat! 1.2717 0.04913 92 68 23 1
1066 No, a Porsche has the pricks on the INSIDE. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1067 Trust me, when it hits, you'll feel the burn. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1068 You're right, this really DOES keep me motivated. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1069 Don't look back---and whatever you do, don't stop short! 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1070 Let’s take a break. He looks a bit dehydrated. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1071 This sand is your sand, this sand is my sand. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1072 I thought they were supposed to be slow. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1073 I hear if you run in a zig-zag line they can't catch you. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
1074 No, you don't get a hug. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
1075 I told you we should have gotten a sitter. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1076 If we had a better pet, we could jog in more interesting places. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1077 This is why we need The Wall 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
1078 I just don't understand how OUR footsteps keep disappearing. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1079 Faster Ron -- climate change is allowing it to expand its range! 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1080 This isn’t as fun as that corn maze. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1081 He says *we're* the succulents. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1082 Why did you ask him to play tag? 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1083 You're right, those weren't edible mushrooms. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1084 Come on Guys, I saw you take a selfie with the Prickly PEAR earlier, don't make me beg. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1085 Can we keep him, if he follows us home? 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1086 That reminds me: we should probably stop for some water. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1087 'Wait. I think it's surrendering." 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1088 I've heard of a 'Wandering Jew' plant, but nothing like this?! 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1089 Yippie-ka-yay that was good peyote. 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
1090 Who the hell told you we are tree huggers? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1091 How did it get past the border wall? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1092 Maybe I shouldn't have said 'it's so life-like'. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1093 Um, honey, what was the name of that funny tea? Pey what? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1094 Hurry up, I think he wants your aloe water. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1095 You shouldn't have complained about his prickly personality. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1096 Remember the cactus back there you went the bathroom on... 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1097 I think it's trying to be on the right side of "the Wall". 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1098 Either I need to stop for a drink of water or we need to start running really fast. 1.2688 0.06142 93 75 11 7
1099 At least it's a dry hallucination. 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1100 Okay, okay, we don't have to hug, but can we just talk? It gets lonely out here. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
1101 Sally! It's me! 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1102 You can't compete with its size, but you are a bigger prick. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1103 Hey guys, wait up. Did you every hear the one about the epiphytic succulent? 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1104 If he follows us home, can we keep him? 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1105 I shouldn't have watered the cactus. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1106 Honey, some prick is following us. 1.2688 0.06330 93 76 9 8
1107 The organisers of the event thought of a new way to encourage the stragglers at the end of the race. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
1108 We can slow down now, he's giving up. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
1109 That timeshare salesman is still on our tail. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1110 It works!.. Now, if they all hold hands we have the perfect "Genetic Engineered" wall that's impossible to climb.. and we can move it wherever we want! 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1111 Quit worrying. If anybody's going to make it over the border wall it's going to be you. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1112 I quit peyote but I don't think the peyote quit me. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1113 The newest in "post wall" border security. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1114 I wish that prick would stop following us. 1.2667 0.06477 90 74 8 8
1115 You didn’t mention having Secret Service protection. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1116 It’s just a dry run. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1117 One of us is a mirage. 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1118 Slow down. He's having a hard time keeping up. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1119 Not sure who this prick is behind us. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1120 I told you we should have voted for the wall! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1121 I think he wants to see our papers. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1122 It wants your Fitbit. 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1123 Just throw down your Evian bottle and run! 1.2667 0.04947 90 67 22 1
1124 Man, is he going to stick it to us! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1125 Don’t run! I can assure you I’m not a giant sex toy. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
1126 C'mon, I'd fit in your living room! 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1127 Say "cactus can't catch us" three times fast 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1128 Hey guys! I think you left your headlights on. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1129 What's this prick want? 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1130 Maybe the wall isn't such a bad idea 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1131 I think he wants us to do something about global warming. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1132 Damn those nuclear bomb tests! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1133 Maybe some of those restrictive EPA regulations weren't so bad after all... 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1134 Reminds me of my first date. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1135 Honey! You’re gonna need a bigger pot. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1136 That Prick is Closing In On Us! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1137 Why is your friend such a prick? 1.2667 0.06477 90 74 8 8
1138 I think he said something about free hugs. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1139 I hate it when he hugs me. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1140 You could say that I'm wary of pricks. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1141 Your brother has a dry sense of humor! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1142 Is that all the border security they had money for? 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1143 And I thought I was dehydrated 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1144 Look, how cute! He thinks we’re his parents. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1145 He's trying to get rid of the water weight. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1146 I still say water bottles would have been less creepy. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1147 That prick won't take 'no' for an answer. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1148 He'll be happier in the wild. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1149 It's ok hunny! He's not a stalker, just a prick. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1150 I think "succulent" is his trigger word. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1151 Arizona makes me uncomfortable. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1152 Covering our footprints isn’t working. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1153 At least I'm getting all my steps in today. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1154 Sorry! Sorry! We thought you were an Aloe Vera plant! 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1155 Remember saying "oh some stupid cactus" back there? 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1156 Poor thing. 60 million years to optimize hydration and it can barely keep up. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1157 Uh, I doubt you'll ever call him a 'Prick' again. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1158 Hurry up! We don't have an agricultural permit to move you. 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
1159 We can make it, I’m pretty sure he isn’t sufficiently hydrated. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1160 I swear, I haven't seen that other contestant take a drink of water yet. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1161 You just had to give it water. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1162 Please! I just need a hug. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1163 Wait. I just want a hug! 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
1164 I guess his New Years resolution was also to start moving more. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1165 I'm trying to remember how you know when you're dehydrated. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
1166 Better pick up the pace Hon....that cactus wants a hug! 1.2637 0.04901 91 68 22 1
1167 The one time I wish it was a mirage! 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1168 The doctor says he’s retaining too much water. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1169 How do you manage to stay hydrated? 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1170 This gives "green footprint" a whole other meaning! 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1171 Strange, I thought walking cacti were extinct. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1172 Honey, this prick is still following us. 1.2637 0.06218 91 74 10 7
1173 Saguaro you following us? 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1174 I told you not to give it a drink; now it's following us. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
1175 Hurry! I'm afraid we'll need water before he does. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1176 He is still trying to surrender to us! 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1177 He insists the etymology isn't Latin. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1178 I think he wants to give us a hug. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1179 If he catches up with us, we will be dealing with a sticky situation. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1180 The desert is gaining on us! 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1181 We're Polish and Irish, where are your roots? 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1182 This mght turn into a sticky situation. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1183 We are running from a sticky situation. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1184 Next time we play, honey, please just volunteer to be "it." 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1185 Honey, did you water the plants before we left? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1186 I don't understand why he is signaling a touchdown. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1187 The quickening pace of desertification is no joke. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1188 Did you really have to call him “Rocket Man”? I told you he was prickly! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1189 I get the feeling the border's crossing us. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1190 Sometimes a saguaro is just a saguaro. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1191 Your costume is succulent. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1192 Now you're just being a prick. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1193 And when there were only one set of footprints in the sand know that it was I, the Cact-lord, who carried you. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1194 "I'm not the fastest, but I never need to stop for water. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1195 Hold your water! We're almost there... 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1196 Maybe we shouldn't have eaten his peyote buds. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1197 That prick is actually following us! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1198 You pissed on the wrong prick. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1199 They didn’t mention this feature in the brochure. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1200 It doesn't look Norwegian. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1201 Mirage, smirage, I still think it's following us. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
1202 When Steve goes local, he really commits. 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1203 The point of this exercise is to not get the point. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1204 Well, so much for the scenic route... 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1205 Don’t complain. He promised us running water, and he delivered. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
1206 Bob, I think I've figured out what that sign meant that said, "Please don't disturb the cacti". 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1207 wow! These border patrol agents are getting really creative. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
1208 No, you're wrong... the green movement truly is extraordinary here in the desert! 1.2593 0.04900 81 60 21 0
1209 Honey, are you sure this witness protection program was such a good idea? 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1210 Hurry up honey, unless you want an acupuncture treatment with your workout! 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1211 Show me your papers! 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
1212 Yeah, those mushrooms were perfectly safe. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1213 I told you not to feed it. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
1214 We may need to upgrade our Witness Protection Program coverage. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1215 Couldn't we have simply carried several canteens? 1.2588 0.05063 85 64 20 1
1216 Did you tell your Mom where we were going on our honeymoon? 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
1217 "Next time try to remember, it's cacti not cactuses". 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
1218 Yes, you're right .... it's peyote! 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
1219 Maybe it's just thirsty 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
1220 It says its not armed 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1221 Tell me if you need water 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1222 We’re not the only ones who resolved to get more exercise this year. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1223 ARE YOU CRAZY !!!! A THREE-WAY IS OUT OF THE QUESTION !!! 1.2558 0.06446 86 71 8 7
1224 Remind me, what percent water are we? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1225 Not even a hug? 1.2558 0.06446 86 71 8 7
1226 'Keep running! We're faster than he is, but he won't have to stop for water." 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1227 OMG, the Global Warming YETI! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1228 I thought you said what happens in Oaxaca stays in Oaxaca. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1229 Jeez, who knew he would be so protective of that little peyote? 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1230 But sweetie, when you said stick’em up, he did! 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1231 'I said you'd regret eating the worm...' 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1232 Hurry up, it’s cactusing up with us. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1233 What did you say to it? 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1234 It wants your water bottle !! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1235 I am never running another "adventure" marathon again. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1236 Let's name him Spike 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
1237 You're the one who said I needed to find us a cheaper personal trainer. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1238 You shouldn't have needled him. He's prickly about his weight. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1239 He’s built for speed, not for comfort. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1240 Wait! I think he just wants a hug. 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
1241 Pump your arms — it’ll look more natural. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1242 Honey, don't look now, but your prickly past is catching up with us. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1243 That guy has a short stride but he is a natural. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1244 Just ignore the prick. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1245 Run faster!! I'm pretty Saguero that he's gonna cactus! 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1246 Aren't mirages supposed to be enticing, and in front of you? 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1247 BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO ARIZONA. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1248 Don't worry, it's just a dry run. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1249 Yikes! When they named it "The Living Desert", they sure weren't kidding! 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
1250 I hate CrossFit. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1251 It's not personal. He's trying to get his steps in. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1252 It's either following us or we had way too much peyote. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1253 I told you not to needle him about his dry humour. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1254 It's just Border Patrol stepping up its efforts. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1255 Ever get that prickly feeling that someone is following you? 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1256 Who knew it would enjoy this so much? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1257 For a moment, I thought it was a cactus. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1258 I think it’s trying to surrender. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1259 You are right; the resemblance to Trump is uncanny...both are big Pricks!! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1260 If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a prick that doesn't know when to quit. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1261 Honey, remember when I said "Get outta here you big prick" and you thought I was talking to you... 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1262 Oh great, some prick is following us! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1263 Let's stop focusing on our form and just go fast. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
1264 Yes, dear, I know it is not keeping up with us, but that's not really the main point, is it?" 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
1265 Honey, I'm just saying that it's only weird because it is leavin footprint and we are not. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1266 We have a cereus problem 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1267 Maybe we should have waited longer before eating more of those edibles... 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1268 Pretty good border-crossing costume you got there, but you have do something about the footprints! 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1269 I think we should stop doing our jog in Area 51. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1270 I think you gave it too much water. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
1271 Where did you pour out your energy drink? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1272 When the wall gets built, we can stop worrying about all this undercover surveillance. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1273 I told you we should stay away from the old nuclear test site. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1274 The border control vigilantes are not fooling around. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1275 I warned you not to water it Bill. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1276 Mother Nature's definitely on the run. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1277 I think someone else is thirsty. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1278 Looks like Jerry's coming down with a bad case of prickly heat again... 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1279 Hey, he didn't get funding for the fence but this moving cactus is impressive. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1280 Hurry. I only wanted a selfie. I didn't want to adopt him. Hurry. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1281 Wait!! I'll bloom in a few months! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1282 Do you think he's just trying to needle us? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1283 Hmm, maybe I should reconsider my position on climate change 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1284 His base may be soft, but he’s spiking in the polls! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1285 But all it wants is a hug! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1286 He'd go faster if he used his "arms" like we do. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1287 If that big cactus catches up with us, we'll be stuck with him! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1288 Wait--I think he's in pain! Hand me your tweezers. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1289 Is this just a dry run? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1290 But we're so green! We're not leaving even actual footprints! 1.2530 0.06604 83 69 7 7
1291 Well, honey, now we know "who cares" if you step on the cryptobiotic soil. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1292 Huh. I always thought it was the fern that would be clingy. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1293 I'm not sure I like these new fitness trackers... 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1294 All right, we're leaving. No need to get all prickly about it. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1295 If only I had known this is what the climatologists meant when they said, "some plants will expand their ranges in a warmer world." 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1296 Last one in is a rotten monotypic genus Carnegiea! 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
1297 This brings new meaning to the word ‘Stalker’... 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1298 I don’t trust him. He looks a bit rootless. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1299 Prick up the pace. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1300 Yep, he's still trying to stick to us. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1301 But his gesture suggests he means us no harm! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1302 I wish we had just bought Fitbits. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1303 Do you believe in global warming NOW? 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1304 Honey, we're being followed by some prick. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1305 Is it really necessary for your bodyguard to wear a disguise? 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1306 Run faster & he won't cact-us! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1307 Uh Oh! Sticker shock. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
1308 You're wearing sweatpants in the desert! Stop! Cut me open and drink some water! Touchdown! God, it's hot out here. What kind of shithole country is this? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1309 Don't you want to see the rest of my routine? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1310 This new trainer is a real prick 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1311 He's less of a slasher and more of a prick. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1312 Are saguaros carnivorous? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1313 What does this prick want from us? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1314 At least its not running for congress 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
1315 There's been a spike in crime in this neighborhood. I found a dirty needle last week and I'm pretty sure this prick is following us. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
1316 No fair-you have to count to ten first. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1317 Don't move! This is a stick up. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1318 Just my imagination running away with me.. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
1319 You don’t suck. I said you were a succulent. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1320 It's almost as if it has been storing water for exactly this purpose. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1321 If this is a new border wall patrol tactic, it's working! 1.2530 0.06823 83 70 5 8
1322 It's scary - even in this heat he never sweats! 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
1323 Honey, did you leave a tip at that last rest stop? 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1324 I told you the wall wouldn't keep out those catixicans. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1325 First it was the polar bears, now these guys are heading to more hospitable climes. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1326 You can have the first hug. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1327 Remind me to shave my underarms when we're done jogging! 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1328 Saguaro, smaguaro; who cares. Just hurry, he's catching up. 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
1329 If you raise your arms, it's easier to breathe. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
1330 Oh, I see what you mean about getting stuck out here. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1331 The acupuncture did wonders for his spine condition. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
1332 It’s not you, it’s all the pricks around you. 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
1333 It doesn't want to be deserted. 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
1334 ...AND, he just called us a prickly pair! 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
1335 Leave him in the desert, you said He’d be better of wild, you said. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1336 I think it wants to give up. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1337 Who made that mushroom pizza? 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
1338 Remember that energy drink you poured out? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
1339 I was hoping the whole 'women being chased by little pricks thing' would end in 2017. 1.2500 0.06532 84 70 7 7
1340 I know he's a prick, but we can't desert him. 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
1341 Did that cactus just say... Don't shoot.? 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1342 Remind me why peyote Gatorade was a good idea? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1343 This acid trip is getting more succulent by the minute! 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
1344 This won't happen once Trump gets his wall. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
1345 You dumped me for a jogger? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1346 What test site was it again we were jogging past? 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
1347 Don't panic, but we're in a bit of a prickly situation... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1348 Wait up guys, I got a thorn in my shoe. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1349 Apparently the wall wasn't approved. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1350 Looking sharp man 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1351 This wouldn’t have happened … if he built that wall! 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1352 Can we keep him? 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1353 You can stop running. It just signaled a touchdown. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1354 Just ignore it, Martha. It's nothing but another attention-seeking prick. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1355 I was told that this personal trainer may seem rough on the outside but soft on the inside. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1356 Pace yourself, our friend behind us can go a long way without hydrating. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1357 These new border guards are real pricks. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1358 Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1359 Honey, I'm getting a prickly sensation that someone is following us. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1360 Darn it, I told you not to pee on that cactus. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1361 You're it! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1362 oh come on, just one hug 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1363 I know you drank a cup of water last month, but staying hydrated is important. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1364 I guess Mexico responded to the Wall. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1365 I don't think we're in Jersey Anymore 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1366 And you complained about chafing while running? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1367 It's obviously been taken in by the global warming conspiracy. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1368 Ah man, I could really use a hug... 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1369 They are taking back New Mexico! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1370 No, I don’t think those raised arms don’t mean he’s surrendered! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1371 He pricked up at the word water 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1372 Oh my God, I think he needs a hug! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1373 I guess not all of the locals like snowbirds. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1374 And Lot's wife turned into a stone for The Wall 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1375 That’s Gumby. He got tired of being stopped for autographs. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1376 For such a prick, he's so friendly. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1377 I tried to tell you that the national parks were closed and that not ALL security personnel had been furloughed! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1378 In case one of us doesn't make it, we need to decide right now which social media site this goes on. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1379 Here they come again! Cactus if you can! 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1380 Actually, I think we’re about to feel even more alive. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1381 So much for the wall... 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1382 A local cactus chases founders of Albuquerque's Annual Mezcal Festival out of town. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1383 Quick, he is hot on our trail....well, at least its' a dry heat 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1384 Probably just an ICE agent in disguise. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1385 Looks like we can't run away from this prickly situation. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1386 I told you not to use so much Miracle Gro! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1387 Adding mezcal to our canteens for local flavor might've been a mistake... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1388 Who paid for the wall? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1389 The mirage is gaining on us! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1390 Once we pass through that nudist camp ahead, we'll be okay. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1391 Forget it -- the last time I let you run along side me it felt like I was having acupuncture. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1392 Eventually the Saguaro-Gumby hybrid experiment went horribly wrong. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1393 Not a bad pace for a Succulent... 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1394 I've noticed more cactus creep from Mexico since The Wall was announced. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1395 Slow down, you know the story of the cactus and the hair, don't you? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1396 Honey, remember that baby cactus you had in college? 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1397 Feels like we're running in place. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1398 Come on, slow poke. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1399 This could turn into a prickly situation 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1400 I think the runner's high is kicking in 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1401 Don't forget to hydrate! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1402 Well, you did ask the genie for running water. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1403 Honey-I think he is surrendering! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1404 Honey watch out- it's an Attacktus! 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1405 I can skip the water stop. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1406 Where's the nearest Taco Bell? I'm applying to be their mascot. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1407 Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1408 Arizona will stay with you forever 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1409 Keep up or you'll never lose that water weight. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1410 No,... I don't want to try acupuncture! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1411 Hey, wait up...please don’t desert me. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1412 So this is what the border wall has come to? 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1413 Why can't you be normal and carry a canteen to hike in the desert? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1414 OK, you can jog with us if you can keep up. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1415 I warned you to stop staring at it. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
1416 It looks too intelligent to be human. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1417 It's sticking right with us. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1418 It really does thrive on neglect. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1419 I think it just wants a hug. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
1420 RUN! I think it came from a shit hole! 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1421 . Let's hope our mirage has to pee soon. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1422 No matter which way you look at it, it follows you. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1423 I am thinking that maybe I shouldn't have eaten that button off the cactus. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
1424 I told you we would have been better off with a border wall. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
1425 You give it a hug and I'll run away and get help . 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
1426 Actually, I'm less afraid of walking cacti than I am of driverless cars. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1427 All I want is a hug. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
1428 These fitness apps keep coming up with more creative ways of keeping you active! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
1429 Come on I just want a hug! 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
1430 Run faster, it's cactusing up. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
1431 Remember that prickly feeing you mentioned on the back of your neck? 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1432 Speed up. We're being followed by a prick pocket. 1.2439 0.06390 82 68 8 6
1433 Won’t it be exciting if we become a legend? 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
1434 Looks like global warming is gaining on us... 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1435 What was it Satchel Paige said about looking back? 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1436 Next time lets just carry our own water bottles. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1437 I think it can smell your water bottle. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1438 Don't worry, it's just water weight. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1439 Slow down, he gets prickly if we leave him behind. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1440 I thought you said it was safe to hike in Area 51. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1441 This new personal trainer is a little prickly. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1442 #METOO 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1443 How will this end? I'm on pins and needles! 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1444 Damn immigrants. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1445 These mirages are getting stranger and stranger. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1446 I think this prick is following us. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1447 Running with him is nice, but then he tries to jump in my lap and lick me. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1448 Honey, I think your ex-wife is following us again. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1449 I think ICE is following us. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
1450 I suppose a "zombie" apocalypse would've been too cliche. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1451 Please, you won’t even know I’m there. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1452 This sucs. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1453 This could be a really sticky situation. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
1454 Don’t forget to work your arms, too. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1455 I told you not to give it some of our water 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1456 If you keep this up, you'll lose all of your water weight! 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
1457 He gets prickly when he falls behind. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1458 Peyote. It's not just for breakfast anymore. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1459 It looks like he is going to stick it to us! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1460 Have you been talking to Alexa about the President again? 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1461 Maybe we should slow down? After all, it's 150 years old. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1462 We don't have any water! 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
1463 You'll be fine. We won't be long. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1464 Where's my hug? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1465 Who would have thought he'd be the spineless one? 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1466 I told you we shouldn't have taken her babies. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1467 Honey, have you been feeding the cactus again? 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1468 Oh no, the macarena is making a comeback. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1469 They’re impossible to kill. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1470 Dammit! Gumby’s gaining on us. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1471 When they said motivated runners only, I wondered why we had to fill out a waiver. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1472 He's asking us to look past the thorns and see a lonely heart crying out. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1473 Yes, it’s true. Back in Washington they’re on the inside. 1.2405 0.07027 79 68 3 8
1474 If that thing decides this is a conga line, Bill, I'll be moving to the front of the line. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1475 Stop! Don't desert me! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1476 Crossfitters really are insufferable. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1477 I told you we need a wall! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1478 Tequila catches up with you eventually. 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
1479 I get this prickly feeling we're being followed. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1480 Your after shave is attracting the saguaros again! 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1481 Quit complaining, it was your idea to wear the cactus costume. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1482 Don’t worry, after Spring Break this place will be a desert. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1483 He’s about to cactus. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1484 Run faster. He’s doing a victory dance. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1485 He thinks following us puts him on the path to citizenship. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1486 It’s the newest border security. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1487 He thinks we know where to find water. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1488 We may have to pick up our pace. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1489 The most important thing is to stay hydrated. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1490 Haha you can’t cact us! 1.2405 0.06793 79 67 5 7
1491 Let’s make tracks. 1.2405 0.04839 79 60 19 0
1492 We're just not huggers. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1493 Uh, oh. Those New Yorker cartoonists have crossed over into complete idiocy! 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1494 Uh Oh, it's the new sheriff, Joe Saguaro. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1495 Who wants a hug? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1496 Whatever you do, don't look back; remember what happened to Lot's wife?! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1497 Talk about carbon footprints... 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1498 It's a little prickly, but easier than carrying around a water bottle. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1499 I told Mitch to stay hydrated. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1500 Please don't stop short. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1501 Esta seguro?... No, saguaro. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1502 Make the desert great again. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1503 I told you to quit needling him, Larry! 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1504 I said cactus, not catch us! 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1505 We're in a prickly situation. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1506 If you only drank more water you could keep up. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1507 Carlos, I think I may be dehydrated. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1508 Oh fuck. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1509 It's pricking up speed!! 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1510 Please, wait up. . .I just need a hug! 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1511 I think that signal means he's giving up. Run for it 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1512 OK, I really need some water now 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1513 How can we turn this cartoon into a Trump bashing? That's what the New Yorker thrives upon!" 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1514 Where's a botanist when you need one? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1515 Run! He’s actually going to build that crazy wall!! 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1516 Yeech! Some prick is following me. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
1517 do you think we're jogging too slowly? 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
1518 Sometimes a saguaro is just a saguaro. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1519 Free hugs, free hugs, why doesn't anybody want a free hug? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1520 You were more convincing as a tumbleweed, Roger 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
1521 Caroline was ashamed. She was scared, but more than just a little turned on, too. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1522 We told you we don't want to smell your armpits! Now leave us alone. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
1523 Honey, ever wonder if you're too motivational as a personal trainer? 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
1524 Some prick is following us. 1.2405 0.06549 79 66 7 6
1525 Wait! He's trying to tell us something. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
1526 Get it? You put the ‘us’ in cact...oh, never mind. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
1527 Oh no, it's that prick! 1.2375 0.06474 80 67 7 6
1528 Try swinging your arms, you’ll get a better stride rate. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1529 I'm sorry, but I don't want a hug. 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
1530 Cactophobic city people. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
1531 Honey, even the cacti are moving north! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
1532 You know you mentioned prickly heat earlier... 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
1533 Excuse me, which way is Mexico?? I heard something about a wall and a prick. I mean prickly, prickly. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
1534 Now do you believe in the creeping desert? 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
1535 I told you we shouldn't have watered that thing! 1.2368 0.04909 76 58 18 0
1536 O' honey - he looks just like you did on our honeymoon. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
1537 I think climate change is making it too hot for him here. 1.2361 0.05040 72 55 17 0
1538 Let's drop a water bottle 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
1539 Sheesh! Running makes Jen so prickly! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
1540 saguaro you 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
1541 I wonder if it sees with it's cact-eyes 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1542 We will be ok! Its one of the few things that cant get over the border wall. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1543 Hugs! Hugs! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1544 Thank God, I think he's finally giving up. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1545 I thought we left him in the dust. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1546 I think we need to pick up the pace. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1547 I TOLD you that you need to keep hydrated! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1548 No! Stop! How may times... not "catch us." CACTUS. Just CACTUS!! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1549 Wait, don't desert me! 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1550 C'mon It's only the Macarena 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1551 If I'm suddenly thinking "sex toy" does that make me some kind of a masochist? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1552 I think he's saying he wants a fit-bit 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1553 In the desert, the scenery never seems to change. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1554 If he follows us home, I'm keeping him. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1555 Eric, I think we scored a touchdown. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1556 It's not tip-toeing and that's no tulip! 1.2338 0.06639 77 65 6 6
1557 This guy is a prick. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1558 You can pick up the pace if you pump your arms a little. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1559 You know that stuff you read about talking to plants.....have....have you ever tried it? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1560 Keep up or shut up. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1561 Stop mansplaining, the thing is following us! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1562 I knew when I ate that dessert it would catch up to me someday. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1563 Remember not to hug him if he wins the race. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1564 I think we scored a touchdown! 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1565 Okay, no more peyote in the smoothies for a while.. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1566 Why is this prick still following us? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1567 SOLLY, IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN AND YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF US. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1568 Ditch the Pellegrino! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1569 You'd think a Presidential pardon would have made him less prickly. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1570 Are you part of the peyote ceremony? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1571 Jose, the Border Patrol check-point is directly ahead ... Try not to draw attention to yourself. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1572 He can run but he can't hide. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1573 If the saguaro follows us home, is it legal to keep it? 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1574 It has the same New Year's resolution 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1575 LOOK. A CREEPING CACTUS. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1576 I don't know, I'm leaning toward posting this on Instagram. Are you still thinking Facebook? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1577 Another one got over the wall! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1578 I thought I was parched 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1579 Who're you callin' a prick?! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1580 Oh, you just HAD to go and find out why they're called succulents? 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1581 Hey, hey, just kidding! You're such a prickly pair. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1582 Betcha can't cactus! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1583 He’s definitely sticking with us. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1584 Touchdown! 1.2338 0.06639 77 65 6 6
1585 Hmmm? I give up. What IS big and green and looks like a cactus and is following us? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1586 I thought that Trump's wall to keep aliens out would include Area 51! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1587 He's easier upkeep than a dog, and he doesn't get thirsty. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1588 I told you he’d be prickly if we lapped him. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1589 Move over, honey. The Witness Protection Running Club is coming through. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1590 Quick! He's going to cactus. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1591 These dry runs can take on a life of their own. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1592 Run!! It's the fabled 'Needy Cactus of Laredo'. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1593 How he gets through a 25K without drinking any water is beyond me. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1594 I think we picked up a stalker 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1595 Saguaro aren't typically considered a sentinel species, Bob, I know. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1596 This cactus is a real prick 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1597 Rick, I think I'm ready to lead! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1598 Yes, I know there are no Saguaros in New Mexico. But this one has been following us since we left Tuscon! 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1599 Did I leave the vibrator running? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1600 Don't mind him. He's a prick. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1601 Will it catch us?" "Actually, it's pronounced catch-i. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1602 Throw him your Perrier; he'll leave us alone. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1603 Quick, a giant prick is chasing us. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1604 We're about to be in a sticky situation. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1605 I think that he is trying to tell us that the field goal is good. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1606 Don't desert me! 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1607 Nobody thinks you're fat. We just thought you could use some fresh air. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1608 I told you your brother always gets a bit prickly when we go camping 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
1609 We're being stalked. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1610 Have you been talking dirty to the plants again? 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1611 I think it's one of those prototypes for The Wall. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1612 Some prick is stalking us! 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1613 Dry humor? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1614 Pick up the pace, its about to lap us again! 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1615 Honey, when you said our desert run "might get prickly," you weren't talking about leg pain were you? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1616 We can't go anywhere without your mother following us. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1617 We need to beat him to the water stop. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1618 Did you forget to water the cactus? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1619 We have run 10 miles, it is not a mirage. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1620 Saguaro, passing on the right. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
1621 Sheriff Arpaio, we're joggers, not Mexicans. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
1622 I told you not to take a leak on the cactus that coughed. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1623 Uh, Bob, I think this new fitness class was a mistake. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1624 Well, it seems to be interested. Should we slow down? 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
1625 Hey, come back. You have to pay for a selfie. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
1626 Pick-up the pace, Frank! This prick's gaining on us. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
1627 I told you we should have stayed on the jogging path. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1628 No it's not 5 degrees hotter, the President says so. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
1629 Honey...I think we have a prickly situation on our hands. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1630 I thought we deserted him. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
1631 Border patrol alert. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1632 Nice kick, Harry -- the field goal was good. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
1633 It's all about mobile these days. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
1634 Just don't ask for a hug. 1.2308 0.06301 78 65 8 5
1635 I think those mushrooms we ate are starting to kick in 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1636 John, did you forget to water the cactus? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1637 Better hurry, he seems kinda prickly. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1638 My next resolution for 2018 is no more Tequila. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1639 As as desolate and life-less as it may seem, dear, I can assure you, the desert teams with life. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1640 Honey, I have another follower. Now I have like 400 followers. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1641 Genetically Modified Boarder Patrol 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1642 I told you, you shouldn't have peed on that! 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1643 He's gaining on us, but I bet his thighs are really chafed. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1644 Perhaps we shouldn't run. He could be one of those Mardi Gras people who wants help out of his party suit. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1645 No hugs? How about a handshake, then? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1646 I don't know, has it kicked in for you? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1647 You tell him we're not taking him home. 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1648 Don’t be a prick! Wait for me! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1649 We're a mirage...see,no footprints ? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1650 Don't look now, but I think the costume contest has a winner! 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1651 Wait! Wait! I have fresh water for you! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1652 Remember when you asked about mirages? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1653 should we call Border patrol? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1654 Wow, I didn't think peyote worked that fast! 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1655 You can keep your free hugs. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1656 It's still there! I told you we shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1657 I know he just went through a breakup, but did you really have to offer a hug? 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1658 How close are we to the border? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1659 No one wants to hang with a prick! 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1660 He's not chasing us, he's surrendering. Look at his hands. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1661 I heard this is how you get in shape for Coachella 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1662 Uh, Peter—Our cactus definitely needs more work on the “Stay” command. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1663 C’mon...I’m not the prick everyone says I am!! 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1664 Ever had a bad trip on a runners’ high? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1665 Darn I just remembered I had an acupuncture appointment today 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1666 This might be the hallucinations talking, but I think we're being followed. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1667 Big pricks, little pricks, seen one cactus you've seen them all. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1668 Don't pay any attention..it's my brother's attempt at dry humor. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1669 Disculpe. ¿Has visto a mis hijos? (Excuse me. Have you seen my children?) 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1670 Just keep moving and maybe it will lose interest. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1671 What, no group hug? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1672 I don't think it waving at us, I think its hungry. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1673 Ya' still following, so move your cact' ass... 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1674 I told you not to feed it. It's the cat story all over again. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1675 Remember, stay hydrated. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1676 Bob, remember that saguaro you peed on ...? 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1677 Honey, why is that prick still following us? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1678 Don't look now, but the guy behind us is a stickler for form. 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
1679 Did we just pass Area 51? 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1680 Wanna play tag? Cact-us if you can. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1681 When you said you brought the water what exactly did you mean? 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1682 Come back here! I'm really very cuddly. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
1683 And when I looked back, there was only ONE set of footprints... 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1684 It's too fast to be a Saguaro. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
1685 FASTER HERALD , I THINK HE COULD BE CAPABLE OF GROPING !! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1686 The brochure said, "Come commune with nature.", but really! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1687 It said it wants a hug. Run! 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1688 My mind tells me it's a mirage, but let's keep running just in case! 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
1689 That's it. This is the last time I take peyote with you. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
1690 I don't like these jogs in the dessert as much since that last nuclear reactor accident. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
1691 But if we keep him, where will he sleep? 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
1692 I told you. Even the cactus are friendly in Arizona. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1693 He must have made a wrong turn outside of Albuquerque 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
1694 Whatever you do, don't look back! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1695 We're not in Kansas anymore, honey. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
1696 Gerald, there’s a giant green sex toy following us? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1697 “Don’t worry, he’s just a big prick”. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1698 Cactus stalk. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1699 Don’t be a slow poke. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1700 If he catches up things will get thorny 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1701 Quick - hide your water bottle! 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
1702 Don't hold up, honey. This one's a hugger. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1703 Your trainer is a real prick. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1704 Don’t even look back Sherry, he’s such a prick. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1705 That would never have happened if there was a wall. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1706 This is way better than carrying hydration packs! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1707 ICE is mobilizing everyone. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1708 Faster dear, or we'll be cactured! 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
1709 I guess cacti really are territorial. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1710 I think we have a prickly situation. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1711 I know we're in the desert & you're telling me it's a mirage, but I swear that cactus is following us! 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
1712 Weren’t you the one who said one more shot of tequilla won’t hurt anyone? 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1713 Who're you callin' a prick?! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1714 Dehydration was only the secondary danger of the Ultra Desert 100k run... 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
1715 Saguaro you running from? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1716 Say Aloe to my little friend! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1717 100 Years? How long does it take them to grow legs? 1.2267 0.06731 75 64 5 6
1718 The new guy manages to stay pretty well hydrated. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1719 Quick, get a pot! 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1720 This race needs more water stations. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1721 I just need a hug! 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1722 It's not "cheering" for us honey! 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
1723 Wait, stop running.....just lay down and play dead. This is a Brown Cactus. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
1724 Not to worry, Carnegiea gigantea are much slower than Pachycereus marginatus. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
1725 I'm not a prick, I promise. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1726 Slow down! He gets mighty prickly if we get too far ahead of him. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1727 I'm sure it'll pass us at the first water stop. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
1728 Make a note. We're not signing up for the Peyote Fun Run next year. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1729 He says he just wants a hug. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
1730 Run. It thinks your Ryan Zinke. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1731 Keep running, that peyote we ate had a friend. 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
1732 Species: Cactus Catchus 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1733 We don't know where the water is either. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
1734 I'm not sure if this is a mirage or a migraine. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
1735 Trump´s new border control idea. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
1736 So how bad could a little prick be? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
1737 this hallucination is fucking weird. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
1738 I think he likes us, can we bring him home? 1.2239 0.05131 67 52 15 0
1739 I will NEVER put agave in my coffee again! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1740 Who’s the new guy?” “Oh that’s jerry, he’s a real prick. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
1741 I think we can stop running - it's giving up! 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1742 In this race he has the advantage of not needing as much water as we do. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1743 This could be an arms race... 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1744 I guess this will do until he gets his damn wall. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1745 Oh no. Arpaio is running. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1746 Love the new design but there's no running away from Alexa 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1747 You don’t think we should stop to see what it wants to tell us? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1748 Don't look now but that sharp looking guy with the prickly demeanor is right behind us. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1749 I still think it’s your mother in a cactus costume. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1750 Things have been really weird around here since Trump built that wall... 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1751 Burning Man is terrible this year. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1752 Roger, run faster. It's not even pretending anymore! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1753 I think it just asked me to get it a pina colada. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1754 Wait! You didn't let me get to the point! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1755 I'm pretty sure I'm not in the 'control' group. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1756 Bigfoot Gumby Texas Style 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1757 Maybe it's because I have my period? 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1758 Hey Dave....next time you need a leak, how about you go behind a rock? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1759 Brian he speaks of interplanetary travel and of having my children. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1760 No pain, no gain. 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
1761 Justin, I don't think it liked that joke about the pricks being on the outside! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1762 Hey, tree-huggers. Cacti needs some love too. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1763 I think the surveillance by the immigration agents near the border is getting ridiculous! 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1764 Hurry, this big prick is gaining on us! 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1765 Border security is eating Tide Pods again. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1766 Let's skip our post-run group hug this time. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1767 Honey, there are some things i didn't tell you about my past. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1768 I think someone, somewhere just scored a touchdown. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1769 If it catches us, it’ll needle us to death. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1770 Prickly personality but defeatist attitude. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1771 Hurry up, she has the advantage of not sopping for water. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1772 Don't make direct eye contact. 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
1773 This is my last sci-fi movie. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1774 Hey! What was in that LSD you gave me? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1775 Either I'm seeing a mirage or there's been some nuclear testing around here. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1776 No Spike...go home! 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1777 Lets wait a minute, I think he’s a friendly cactus. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1778 If he follows us home, I promise I will give him lots of hands-off love and water once a year. 1.2222 0.06915 72 62 4 6
1779 Red light! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1780 I now believe in global warming. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1781 You said ‘No way, he swims.’ Are you sure he can’t ride a bike? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1782 Uh Oh, Hon have you ever heard of a Saguaro Sasquatch? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1783 If you play a prank in the desert and no one sees it, is it still funny? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1784 I see why they call it, ‘the living desert.’ 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1785 I said I wanted to jog through the desert, not with it. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1786 Ned . . . are you sure your mother stayed New York? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1787 Did you notice we’re not leaving any foot prints? 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1788 Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about a thorny issue. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1789 This is why we need The Wall 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1790 Now I'm sure the fitness craze has gone too far. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1791 He’s a good coach, but a bit prickly. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1792 Do you think it’s about all the succulents we’ve killed? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1793 He's gaining but don't worry, he's in a different age group 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1794 I still find your personal trainer a bit prickly, dear 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1795 We need to find water fast, Even the guy behind us is singing “ “How Dry I am, How dry I am,, nobody knows how dry I Am. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1796 Wow, honey, you’re really keeping up today! 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1797 I know you hate it when I say it, but we really need to talk. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1798 It gets easier after the first mile. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1799 If I knew that running was all it took to get a prick to chase me I would've started a long time ago 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1800 We shouldn’t have had that last tequila! 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1801 We can stop running. He’s giving up. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1802 Speaking of GMOs and the environment. . . . 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1803 You're supposed to retain water. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1804 Honey, you know that phrase "living desert"? 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1805 Congratulations for overcoming your sedentary lifestyle. 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
1806 I don't know who's a bigger prick - you or Ryan Zinke . 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1807 Staying hydrated is overrated. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1808 If you weren't so prickly, I never would have left you. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1809 Who invited this prick? 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1810 Remember, stay hydrated. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1811 Wait, I just want to know when the ice caps will melt! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1812 Come on, pokey! 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1813 When they named this race " Saguaro" 5K, I thought we'd only see them on the path. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1814 Looks like global warming is finally catching up with us. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1815 He's headed north, but it's probably still not enough to sway the global warming deniers. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1816 Thank God he can't use his arms. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1817 Even out here I'm followed by pricks. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1818 Did you ever notice it's the pricks you can't seem to get away from? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1819 Told you we need that wall. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
1820 Oh, look, it's following us! Can we take it home? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1821 We are a prickly pair 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1822 Maybe let me lead for a while. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1823 This new personal trainer is a little prickly. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1824 Did you remember to water the plants? 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1825 It looks like that prick is still following us ! ! 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1826 Honey, it appears that rattle snakes, sorpions and Gila monsters are not all we have to be concerned about. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1827 Have you tried it with your arms over your head?? 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1828 Looks like global warming is finally cacting up to us. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1829 Go away, prick! 1.2222 0.06915 72 62 4 6
1830 He hasn't drank water in 14 days, no way he can keep up forever 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1831 Honey, I think there is a big prick following us. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1832 I thought we were running out for dessert 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1833 Dammit, Ted! I told you not to pee on it! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1834 It's my ex. Just ignore him. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1835 I think he's trying to tell us there's a thorn in his side. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1836 Worst case of drymouth I've ever seen. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1837 Don’t you ever stop for water? 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1838 You’re right, taking that second dose was a mistake 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1839 I've got good news and bad news...the good news is we're not stranded alone out here. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1840 Finally something to motivate me to run when the temperature is hot. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
1841 I'm not sure we're still in the five hour pace group. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1842 Did you bring water? 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1843 The mobile border security fence wants us to raise our hands. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1844 If it follows us all the way home, I'm keeping it. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
1845 That's the second rootless xerophyte I've seen today. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1846 I think this is taking a dry sense of humor to a whole different level. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1847 It's just an ad for deodorant. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1848 Our new trainer gets prickly when we don't keep our spines upright, doesn't he? 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
1849 I said succulent! 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1850 Saguaro we going, anyway? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
1851 Is there a cactus leash law? 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
1852 I’m hoping it doesn’t need our protein as much as we needed its water! 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1853 Maybe just one hug won't hurt . . . 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
1854 Well it doesn't look succulent to me! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1855 Do you think those are the new border guards? 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
1856 You're right - it's NOT gaining on us, but something tells me we'll need to stop to re-hydrate WAY before it will. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1857 He'll have to stop for water at some point, right!? 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1858 Come back! I’m just a little rough around the edges! 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1859 I just pray he doesn't want a hug. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1860 By the time we get to Phoenix he'll be tired. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1861 Are you sure there is nothing to this climate change thing? 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
1862 This situation could get prickly. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1863 Go faster! He wants to give me a back rub. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1864 Say what you will, but at least a wall wouldn't chase us. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1865 They're very loyal and quite trainable. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
1866 Your stride is good, but those needles are screwing up your aerodynamics 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1867 Needles, California? Five more miles. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1868 Of course she’s gaining us. She’s been able to skip all the water stops! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1869 Are you sure your mother is back at the hotel? 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1870 I tried to enter at 11 30 pm on sun the 14 ( dog on spaceship) but when I clicked on “enter your caption” it took me to the page for the coming week. 1.2192 0.06826 73 63 4 6
1871 Free Hugs? 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
1872 OK, now I positive that peyote isn't a performance enhancing drug. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1873 Can you say "cactus attacked us" three times fast?! 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
1874 I was certain they had a five foot tap root by the time they grew arms! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1875 Call me paranoid, but I just can't shake the feeling we're being followed. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1876 So...What was in that mescali tea? 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1877 Harold, you might want to check your GPS again 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
1878 You either water it or force it to adapt to climate change. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1879 You need to bend your arms and pump them forward and backward in line with the direction of your movement. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1880 You said that your ex was prickly but this is rediculous. 1.2192 0.06542 73 62 6 5
1881 But it does solve the Bigfoot mystery. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
1882 If it follows us home, can we keep it? 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
1883 I knew we shouldn't have tried that peyote. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
1884 So THAT'S what's in Area 51 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
1885 You're right, honey. Hallucinogens really do increase the stakes for fitness. 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
1886 Seriously, jogging isn't going to help you with your water weight. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1887 Run toward the Range Rover, Todd! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1888 If it says "on your left" just let it go by.. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
1889 Oh, it's one of those 'adopt me' cacti. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1890 You can’t blame everything on water retention 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1891 I told him he was trespassing on U.S. Soil , But it was like talking to the wall... 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1892 That Joe Arpaio just won't go away. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1893 Fred, I think we have a sticky situation here. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1894 Maybe we shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms, honey. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1895 Could you tell me where Saguaro National Park is? 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1896 Hell even the cactuses are trying to escape America for a non-violent place to live. Just follow us Dude! 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1897 Herb, this jogging craze has really caught on. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1898 Darling, are you sure about those pieces of cactus we ate for lunch. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1899 OMG! We're being followed by a prick! 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1900 I want to tell you about this strange dream I keep having. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1901 I didn't know they could do La Macherana 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1902 Oh gawd Carl, he dropped the HUG ME sign and is gaining on us. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1903 Activewear has gone so natural. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1904 He’s no good at close relationships. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1905 But what if he does cactus? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1906 I think it wants us to take it home and water it. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1907 He says he already has his green card. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1908 Looks like the Succulents scored another touchdown. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1909 Hun, what have you been feeding the succulents? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1910 You and I are in the mother of prickly situations. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1911 This is a reoccurring dream of mine. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1912 Follow us, we know where to find shade. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1913 i don't know if we are being pursued or encouraged. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1914 ...and we were worried about the 'rise of the machine'! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1915 I guess we really do need a wall!! 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1916 I am sure Mexico could pay for this 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1917 Honey, slow down. My mom can't keep up. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1918 Speed up Bob. Some prick is following us. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1919 This new trainer is a real prick 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1920 Don't worry: by the time we get to Phoenix, she'll be sleeping. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1921 Remember what you were telling me about global warming? 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1922 Wait!! Save me from Jan Brewer! 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1923 This could lead to a prickly situation. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1924 Don’t be so prickly. I didn’t mean to offend you? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1925 It's referred to as "creeping cacti". 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1926 THAT guy has been out here too long! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1927 I think all of our options have run dry. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
1928 I told you that fertilizer was too strong. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1929 You did tell him to hydrate before the race? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1930 Our new running mate keeps needling me. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1931 I thought what happens in Vegas, stay's in Vegas. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1932 It's counting on passing us at the next water station, so I think we should push through to the finish line. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1933 I told you not to dump that cup of water. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1934 Another Big Prick is chasin' us and his name ain't Donald! 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1935 This prick doesn't respect personal boundaries. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1936 In cactus years it’s running a 4-minute mile. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1937 And you think the desert heat is causing us to have the same delusion? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1938 I told you we should have done the fungus run instead. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1939 Oh boy. I think it wants a hug. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1940 Miguel, did you remember to bring your I.D.? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1941 Stop being a prick. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1942 Marathon runners are such pricks. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1943 I've heard of tumbleweeds, but not of stalking saguaros. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1944 Running away from pricks like him is the best exercise I've gotten all year 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1945 Jeff, the ‘prick’ is still following us. 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1946 This guy is such a prick 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1947 Encouraging but a little prickly for a coach. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1948 Invasion of the Cactus Snatchers 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1949 He’s still following us! What a prick?! 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
1950 “Run faster before he cactus us”.... 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1951 Wait!! This is included in your Arizona Acupuncture Spa week!! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1952 This cactus wants to STICK IT TO US. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1953 It's pretty fast for a sahuaro. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1954 This is what we get from going vegan. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1955 I hope this reminds you to be careful what you wish for. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1956 I think he wants us to prick up the pace. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
1957 Excuse me, may I borrow your fit bit? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1958 Honey, what would you get if you crossed Moses’ burning bush with Fred Astaire? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
1959 This new trainer is a real prick, but I have never been more motivated! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
1960 Some times the runners high makes me see weird things. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
1961 Stop! We're only a mirage. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
1962 Still think it's just a mirage? 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
1963 Don't look now but that prick is following us again. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
1964 And I thought we were the prickly pear? 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1965 You don't look fat, it's just water weight. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1966 I'm thinking it's tequila payback ! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1967 I hate to needle you, but please don't desert me. 1.2113 0.06628 71 61 5 5
1968 I'll catch up when YOU stop for water. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1969 That saguaro is competitive in his age group. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1970 I knew we shouldn't have gone jogging in Area 51. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1971 'Just keep going. He's offering free hugs.' 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
1972 Wow, the graphics of this new Oregon Trail game are amazing! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1973 I blame Castaneda. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
1974 Look sharp, Saguaro! Pick up the pace! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1975 This prick won't stop following us! 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1976 Something tells me it's been a while since anybody's had any water 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1977 Another reason why dropping acid "to ease into exercise" is not one of your better ideas. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1978 Do you happen to recall whether your mother owns a green coat? 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
1979 Either Gatorade is into subliminal advertising or my ex is stalking us again. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1980 Don't be upset. Our new trainer calls everyone spineless. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
1981 Follow us to the food trucks. It's your best chance to escape this food desert. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
1982 You shouldna told him he was looking sharp. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1983 Hands up don't shoot maybe like we might be with ICE? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1984 This is better than carrying a water bottle, for sure. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1985 Global warming creates thorny problem for ecotourists 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1986 Why won't anybody give me a hug? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1987 This must be related to climate change somehow...right? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1988 Umm.....Honey.....you are not going to believe what it is this time... 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
1989 We're in a bit of a prickly situation! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1990 I told you GMOs were dangerous! 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
1991 I think he's saying 'don't drill in the Sonoran'. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1992 This is not my idea of a runner’s high. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1993 So this large phallic-shaped robo cactus is Trump’s alternative to building the wall? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
1994 At least it isn't jumping! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1995 Not much of a stride, but he stays hydrated. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
1996 Let's skip next week's Zombie Mud Run, okay? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
1997 I still think your wife doesn't trust us. 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
1998 Steve, was there another missle warning this morning? 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
1999 C'mon mister, my turn to pee on something. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
2000 By any chance, did you forget to water the cactus? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
2001 I meant nothing by calling you cactass! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
2002 Beware in the desert - with climate change getting worse, the cacti are getting very aggressive 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
2003 I just want a hug 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
2004 You should never have said "Boy that'd make one hell of a coat rack." 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
2005 You look dehydrated. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
2006 I got this prickly feeling that we are being followed 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
2007 I know you had to needle me to get in shape, but this is ridiculous. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2008 I think my mirage is following us! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2009 There's always some prick chasing me. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2010 No matter how hard he tried to be like them, people only saw Charlie as a cactus. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2011 Wait, Gretchen. I just want to talk. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2012 Border Patrol Marathon 2018:Cactus hits the wall two miles from the finish. 1.2059 0.06808 68 59 4 5
2013 Maybe not increase border security so much as just wise them up. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2014 Don't look now, but there is a prickly looking character following us. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2015 We'll never win. It's full of electrolytes. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2016 I don't think she'll ever accept your breakup. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2017 He's still following us, he's such a prick. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2018 Let's pick it up, Phil: if he trips, we're toast! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2019 But what if it's not Border Patrol? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2020 Wait! I just need a hug! 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2021 Please, stop running. I swear this time no hugs. I’m just so very lonely. I have water-I swear I do. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2022 Last one there is a prickly pear! 1.2059 0.06808 68 59 4 5
2023 I think Frank's a little dehydrated. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2024 We just have to out run him until climate change. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2025 I think, it's giving up. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2026 Faster, Brian... he's cacutussing up! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2027 For the last time, you're not losing water weight. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2028 Am I dehydrated from jogging, or is that Cactus following us? " "Cacti honey, the singular of Cactus is Cacti 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2029 Maybe eating peyote and going jogging wasn't such a good idea. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2030 Do you think he'll stop for water soon? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2031 Keep running: I've heard they love a good hug. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2032 com'on, all I want is a high five... 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2033 I told you Peyote was a great way to burn calories. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2034 Now who's being prickly? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2035 It must think we're with the Amazon siting committee. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2036 I think all it wants is a little water. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2037 Why is that cactus wearing a Fitbit? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2038 Hurry up or we're going to find ourselves in a very sticky situation. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2039 I wish you would not have said let’s give him some water 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2040 I move to the middle of nowhere and I still run from the pricks. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2041 Wait up, Pricks! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2042 It'll stop when its arms get tired. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2043 I'm sorry I said 'cactuses' -- I didn't realize he was such a stickler for plurals. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2044 But at my back I always hear Time’s wingèd cactus hurrying near. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2045 What a lousy landmark! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2046 It's just lonely out here; why can't we take it home?! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2047 It's not the heat that gets you... 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2048 Or maybe it's just running from Sheriff Joe what's-his-name? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2049 If it follows us home, Daddy, can I keep it? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2050 Crossfit is relentless. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2051 I'm just watching to see what it does to warm down. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2052 You gotta hydrate more. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2053 Did you forget to feed the cactus? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2054 Pipe organ? You must be hallucinating. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2055 I just want to snuggle! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2056 One small step for a saguaro, one giant leap for succulents. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2057 Wait! I swear I'm not a prick! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2058 His home has been given to Esso. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2059 I think it wants a hug. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2060 Would it not be more efficient to just carry a water bottle? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2061 Faster! It looks like a stick up. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2062 I don't think he's buying that we only drink vodka. 1.2059 0.06808 68 59 4 5
2063 Go faster! The prick is gaining on us! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2064 All I said was, "Jumpin' Jack Cactus!" 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2065 It's following us. Can we keep it? 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2066 Why are we not leaving any footprints but the giant walking cactus is? 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2067 There’s better be an oasis soon. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2068 Don't look now, but I think a very tall succulent is following us. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2069 I'm with him! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2070 If he used his arms a bit more he'd be way faster... 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2071 I promise to never again pronounce the 'g' in 'saguaro'! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2072 Gary was just thirsty - really really thirsty... 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2073 He's got endurance, sure, but kind of a prickly personality. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2074 Why are you running, I just want a hug? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2075 Too much acupuncture, not enough fluids. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2076 I think it’s a stick up. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2077 My New Year’s resolution to exercise is drying up. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2078 Let's see if it follows us to higher elevations. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2079 He may spot some undocumented immigrants, but he won’t catch any. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2080 I’m training for a tree-athlon... 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2081 I don't mind the creepy following so much as the impending irony. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2082 Don’t worry in the desert things always look much farther than they seem. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2083 Quick! Head for the mirage of the fort! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2084 Every January it makes the same resolution. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2085 Roots don't go deep. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2086 Running with Mr Potato Head last year was embarrassing enough, but he’s gone too far this time! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2087 Hurry Festus, he's about to cact us. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2088 Why do our hallucinations have to be hostel? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2089 When you said that old thorny issue has returned to haunt you again, what exactly did you mean? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2090 At least it's a dry heat. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2091 I'm starting to think we shouldn't set down roots here. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2092 Sorry, water is for registered runners only. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2093 Couples massage? Right this way! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2094 We can't be late to the Burning Man exposition! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2095 I warned you about that last margarita. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2096 If Edward Munch had been born in Arizona... 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2097 "Cactus erectus, Charlie! Hint, hint. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2098 She really want us to take her home. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2099 The summer version of Frosty the Snowman was less of a hit. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2100 Are you sure you left a tip at that diner in Yuma? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2101 Yes we dragged you out here, but enjoy the run and stop being so prickly. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2102 Honey! It’s just that Prickly pear margarita you had earlier! Nothing is following us. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2103 Really? Did you have to feed him? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2104 You know, this cartoon is too lame to warrant a caption. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2105 Honey, I don't think we're in Kansas any more. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2106 Faster. It's gaining on us. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2107 Come on, slow poke. 1.2059 0.06808 68 59 4 5
2108 If you can't keep up, we will desert you. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2109 It thinks you said "catch us!" 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2110 Honey, he's just running for Jeff Flake's seat in Arizona... 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2111 Don't try to stick with us. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2112 Hurry, the Wall will be up finished in 150 years.... 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2113 For some reason I don't think we've made any progress! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2114 ...extend your torso for a better stride length 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2115 Honey, did you forget to put the invisible fence collar on Saguaro? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2116 Um, dear, I think I’m a little dehydrated. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2117 I told you, say "they" when the gender identity is unclear! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2118 You’re right. I should never have given it water. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2119 That's a great idea! Carry your own water. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2120 Watch out Steve! Some prick's following us. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
2121 He's gaining on us, but the oasis is in sight... 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
2122 Hydrating was a good idea 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
2123 Stalked by a cactus, I hope that’s not a bad omen... 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2124 You know what they say: slow and prickly wins the race. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2125 Look, he’s not even sweating. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
2126 Joe, remember that cactus outside Scottsdale where you relieved yourself? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
2127 I think its time for a water break. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2128 Ok, Ok...we’re going. Don’t be a prick. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2129 He's got the home field advantage. 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
2130 I'm sorry we used the prickly word. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2131 I want a refund on this acupuncture session! 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
2132 Honey, did you just say 'cactus flower' or 'cactus follower?' 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
2133 He's put on a few pounds, but it's mostly water weight. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2134 You always see a few new runners with the January fitness spike. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
2135 'Steve, that pr*ck's been following us for miles.' 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
2136 Yeah, but it's a dry heat! 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2137 Yep, definitely a peyote cactus! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2138 Are you sure that thing is not following us? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2139 I see the next water station. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2140 I just can't seem to outrun my peyote addiction. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2141 Saguaro we going now? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2142 I don't think he appreciated being "hydrated". 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2143 Thanks, but we have our own water. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2144 Escaping? Relax, it's just a dry run. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2145 It wants us to do the hokey pokey. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2146 It appears that wherever we go, saguaro! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2147 He says we must convert to his religion. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2148 I'm walking here! I'm walking here! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2149 Even the cacti are leaving California. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2150 Did you feed another one of those things? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2151 Feeeed Me 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2152 Stan I get the feeling we are being followed. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2153 That last tequila has been haunting me for a while! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2154 Run, he's giving away free hugs! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2155 My name is Seguaro but I really was raised in Arizona. We're not all drug dealers and criminals! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2156 Step by step. Slowly I turn 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2157 Wait, wait, I'll give you the water! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2158 Uhhh Norman . . . I think we've got a prickly situation here. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2159 Remember to hydrate. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2160 Sorry, we have to pass on the free hug. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2161 Take me with you! I don't have roots here! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2162 Bad news. It's Creeping Americanis Cactiosus. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2163 The new sheriff is less prickly than the old one. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2164 Not to worry. It's an inclusive species. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2165 Honey? What was in that canteen? 1.2000 0.06651 65 56 5 4
2166 Honey, looks like the Dreamers figured out a way to stay in the U.S. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2167 Hydrate! It's a dry heat. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2168 If we run faster, he might stop needling us. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2169 I think he may be a little prickly about what you said to him back there. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2170 He says he'll let us go if we water the succulents. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2171 Can I get a hug? 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2172 Your travel agent clearly said unbelievable desserts. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2173 She is one of the 'dreamers' from Sajuaro. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2174 I think he’s suffering from prickly heat 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
2175 I think someone's position is evolving. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2176 This new coach really knows how to stick it to us! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2177 Honey, you could have waited to go to the bathroom. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2178 You can wake up later - for now, just RUN! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2179 Isn't there an easier way to keep our water supply with us? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2180 Be sure to stay hydrated. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2181 Well, I say if it's a plant, it must be stalking. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2182 Pick up the pace, cactus. What do you think this is, a walk in the desert? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2183 Wait, I have a thorn in my foot. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2184 Saying prickly was unnecessary, but why did you have to take all of the peyote? 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2185 Honey, does Bill look different to you? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2186 It's just a mirage, honey... 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2187 I'm afraid we'll run out of juice before it does. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2188 That prick is gaining on us. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2189 Head to that haystack; it'll never find us there. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2190 Quit stopping for water every five minutes and keep up! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2191 He's gaining on us and he didn't even need to stop at the water station. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2192 Maybe we shouldn't have passed up that last water station 1.2000 0.06651 65 56 5 4
2193 I told you not to touch the baby cacti on Karen’s desk! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2194 Get in his space and he gets all prickly. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2195 Westworld doesn't seem all that believable aymore 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2196 George, do you have our U.S. passports? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
2197 Hmmm...thinking ..Climate Change..? 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2198 The cacti? is after us. I don't think that's right. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2199 When humans become the primary source of moisture. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2200 I think we can outwalk the cactus. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2201 I don't think it can catch us, but if it falls over it could be a problem! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2202 Slow down Jerry, I think he's trying to tell us something. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2203 ‘The sceneary here never changes.’ 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2204 Let's get out of here; after all, our bodies are at least 60% water! 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
2205 Keep going, he's still following us 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2206 Hold your arms like This ! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2207 You tree-huggers are all the same! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2208 I think climate change is real - look at Yeti! 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2209 Honey, this is no time to argue the preferred plural form. We've lost most of them, and now it's just us. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2210 No idea how it keeps on following us since we're not leaving any footprints. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2211 Did you order delivery from the Cantina? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2212 I don't think that's just a mirage... 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2213 Can we keep him? 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2214 I think he wants us to stop. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2215 What was the name of that stalker girlfriend you had? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2216 We raised him from a seed. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2217 That's it. I am off the cleanse! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2218 Lets double back around the ghost town then we'll ambush him. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2219 That reminds me, I need batteries..... 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
2220 Either my Mescal tolerance is down or that cactus is following me. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
2221 I’ve heard of jumping cholla, but this is the first time I’ve seen a jogging saguaro. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2222 I saguaro someone is following us. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
2223 He looks thirsty 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2224 This new 'prickly heat' Fitbit level is a great motivator! 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2225 This isn't what I expected when you brought me out here for a quick prick... 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2226 Is it a cacti or a cactus following us? I get them confused. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2227 He's slow, but we will probably become dehydrated he does. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2228 We could pour water on him, he's not used to that! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2229 Are you sure that was just a regular energy drink? 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
2230 Well, I think he's kind of cute, even if he is a bit prickly! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2231 Those pins and needles still slowing you down, huh? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2232 Everyone's coming down with Plantar fasciitis these days. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2233 They said that removing a cactus is illegal, but they didn't say anything about them removing themselves. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2234 Really, you'll be safe with our American Saguaro family 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2235 Saguaro coming up in you right! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2236 Where's YOUR water bottle, Karen? 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2237 Hang in there. Water station coming up. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2238 Didn't you say something about seeing an empty 'ACME' box a couple miles back? 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2239 I think you mean "I hope we don't run into any more 'cacti'." 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2240 Honey, I think Houston has a problem. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2241 "Honey? Can you "mansplain" THIS for me? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2242 What college football team has a cactus mascot? I think it's lost. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2243 Is this what they mean when they say tequila can drive you mad? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2244 There's a rather prickly subject we need to discuss... that doesn't involve our relationship. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2245 Don't look. It's a leftover from Burning Man. 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
2246 We can’t escape. It’s pretty sharp. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2247 Delicious succulent looking to pair with scrumptious duo. 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
2248 This new Fitbit update is terrifyingly motivational. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2249 Send it back, it's from a Shithole country. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2250 Next time, imprint with a duckling. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
2251 I don’t think it can cactus! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
2252 Dang. Now we have iCacti? 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
2253 You promised you wouldn't desert me! 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
2254 Hey Todd. Were there mushrooms in the granola bars by any chance? 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
2255 What a prick! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
2256 He's making small strides, but he still has to learn to be lighter on his feet. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
2257 Somehow I remember Gumby as friendlier. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
2258 Try leaning forward and using lighter steps. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
2259 Maybe I should have said 'cacti' and not 'cactuses'. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
2260 Honey, you scored a touchdown! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
2261 It’s Ok, we don’t need a hug. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
2262 We left the city for this? 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
2263 Aloe, what's happenin? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
2264 What a prick! I hope he gets fired, too, for behavior like that! 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
2265 New marathon technique; helps retain water. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2266 Don't run away. All I want is a hug. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2267 I think we forgot to lock the door ... 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2268 Don't look back, I think my husband is on to us. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2269 They say it's good for the spine. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2270 Looks like someone’s adrenaline spiked. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2271 So that's definitely a no for Amazon in Tuscon? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2272 Green light. Red light! 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2273 It's cact-i, not cact-us. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2274 Mr. Bezos, Tucson just won't take no for an answer. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2275 Yeah, he's improving but he's still a bit of a prick. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2276 It’s a dry heat. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2277 I have a prickly feeling we are being followed 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2278 I thought you succulents never got thirsty during a race! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2279 No way am I taking him to OUR leader! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2280 Please wait. I surrender. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2281 I don't care if it's native, it's creeping me out. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2282 Who’s the prick behind us? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2283 No, I said we should do a practice race. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2284 I think we're being followed. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2285 Got water? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2286 Well, now we have a novel answer to "how hot was it?". 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2287 No wonder the last fluid station was empty. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2288 Well you have to branch out sometime! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2289 So when it is sentient, is it called Cactus or Cact-I ? 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2290 I think your brother needs some water. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2291 Dammit, Niles. You had to go and tame the cactus... 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2292 You'll never cact- us! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2293 Why does it feel like we're not getting anywhere? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2294 When you said yes to the question, "Will I be chased by unyieliding pricks" I thought you meant we'd be going to happy hour at Jay & Steve "pork chop" Jones' Family Sports bar& Grill. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2295 Do you think we're trespassing? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2296 Are you sure this race is a Boston Qualifier? 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2297 LET’S DO THE HOKEY POKEY. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2298 I think he's thirsty 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2299 I am definitely dehydrated 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2300 Do you think it’s a responding to climate change? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2301 Wow, this "Running Scared" virtual reality exercise app is really helping us stick to our New Year's resolutions. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2302 This prick won't stop following us! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2303 I wish it were as spineless as I feel. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2304 Try throwing your water bottle at it. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2305 This is a prickly situation. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2306 Arizona really does have a water problem! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2307 Have you noticed how FOMO is everywhere these days? 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
2308 A penny for your hallucinations. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2309 So that's why they call it the cactus "stalk"! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2310 'Hurry! It's trying to steal my moisturizer.' 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2311 There must be a goal line around here. He's signaling touchdown. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2312 So that’s why they call it Death Valley. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2313 Maybe we should let him pass. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2314 He won't fit in the jeep, and he'd scare the dog. So no, you can't take him home. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2315 He reminds me of someone. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2316 John, wait up. The saguaro wants a drink. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2317 I told you not to feed him trail mix; now we'll never be rid of him 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2318 Uh oh. Arpaio is back. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2319 It's that prick again! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2320 That's the one that's 6'3" and weighs 239 pounds. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2321 Slow down guys, I'm feeling a little dehydrated. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2322 He's not that fast but we better be careful at the next water stop... 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2323 Honey, he says you’re spineless. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2324 Cactus today, soreguaro tomorrow. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2325 We did move to the desert to get away from pricks. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2326 I'm not sticking around to find out 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2327 Remember that Twitter account Cactus you unfollowed ? It's following us. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2328 Ah...Honey did you say Cactus or Catch us? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2329 Something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2330 Should i tell it you get more power if you pump your arms by your sides? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2331 You go on ahead Jeremy. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna run with Chad for a little while. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2332 He's always been a prickly sonfoabitch. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2333 I think we are running too slow. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2334 Really, we don't drink Tequila! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2335 Look—it's me, not you. I'm sorry, OK? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2336 These organic water bottles are scary 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2337 Honey, the mirage is requesting a comfort break. 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
2338 I keep telling you that wasn't our dog. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2339 Wait, don't desert me! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2340 I wouldn't have mentioned it if I weren't sure. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2341 Does this make us deserters? 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2342 Guys I’m not a regular plant, I’m a cool plant! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2343 Miracle of science or not, he's slowing us down. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2344 RE-CRIMINALIZE. MARIJUANA. NOW. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2345 Braaaad...are there such things as carnivorous cactus? 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2346 Hurry! He's hot on our trail. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2347 I know runners can be surly, but that guy's a real prick. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2348 Bob, I have had it with your followers and their organic reaching. I see you ad. I see you. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2349 Whomever came up with these new border security requirements is a real prick 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2350 We're also trying to lose some water weight. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2351 Following us is one thing.Taunting us is another matter. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2352 Slow down, Bob. I think Mr. Sessions is running out of breath. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2353 It shouldn't be allowed to race - such an unfair hydration advantage. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2354 It's such a close race... let's call it a cac-tie. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2355 A good waxing and your love life is bound to improve. 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
2356 Hi, y'all! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2357 Make sure you stay hydrated! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2358 I guess John forgot to hydrate. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2359 Cacti just tag along? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2360 I don't find barefoot runners as impressive as I used to. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2361 FASTER ! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2362 No fair. It doesn't need to hydrate 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2363 You think this is bad? I gave birth to you. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2364 You're such a prick. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2365 Our new fitness instructor is a prick. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2366 Joshua Tree sucks... 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2367 Don't forget to stay hydrated! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2368 honey , I think I spotted a deserter on the run 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2369 Tequilla! 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2370 I still think it’s a mirage 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2371 Who's a good boy? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2372 Strange. I've never seen a two legged cactus before. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2373 I'm keeping a cacti on you, mister! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
2374 Are you sure it's a mirage? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2375 Saguaro ya from? 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
2376 Who knew the Siguaro were so sensitive about their name? I told you the "g" was silent! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2377 We can tell our friends that we spotted Big Foot in Arizona. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2378 See...I told you jogging was for pricks. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2379 I thought 'Cactus Jack' was a myth. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2380 Do you get the feeling that we’re getting nowhere? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
2381 You really shouldn't have relieved yourself by that cactus! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2382 Did you say your trainer was a transplant? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2383 He always brings up thorny issues. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2384 I'm sorry I called you prickly. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2385 Uh, was Gumby by any chance a ten-foot tall cactus? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2386 I’m saguaro for what I said, I’m not a prick. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
2387 I guess it's catch as cactus can... 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
2388 " I think he is signaling a right turn". 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2389 Reverse tree hugging 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2390 Can we at least speed up to a snail's pace?! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2391 You did get the lubricant, didn't you? 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
2392 I officially hate the person who invented Free Hug Day. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2393 He's such a slowpoke. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2394 We knew they were a protected species, but I guess we shouldn't have taken the saguaro cactus's photo. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2395 Should I get my phone out and try to capture it? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
2396 You're it! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2397 Runners really DO come in all shapes and sizes! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
2398 Remember that goofy sci-fi thriller called "The Cactus Attacked Us?" 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2399 Can we keep him? He won't take any care at all and I just know he'll get along great with the gardener! 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2400 Do you think he knows? 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2401 Don’t look now but a big prick is following us! 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2402 Next time we should each just carry a camelback with water. 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
2403 Jim, either I'm hallucinating or we've over shot our goal. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
2404 This could turn into a rather prickly situation 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2405 Not strange as we're jogging along a boarder. Agreed. But this is the boarder with Canada. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2406 Yep, still there. What a prick! 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
2407 It looks like Charlie didn't hydrate enough. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
2408 look at this prick 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2409 Looks like we're being tailed by some tall pricks. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2410 Global warming… the northern migration. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
2411 Red light! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2412 I heard jogging might help me lose some of this water weight. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2413 I think it's trying to surrender to us. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2414 I know it was an emergency, but you should've held it til came to a rest stop. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2415 Slow down, I think he’s rooting. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2416 We can stop running, he's got his hands up. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2417 Hey honey, do you someone by the name 'Spike'? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2418 I told you not to wear your Free Hugs t-shirt! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2419 I warned you about prickly heat. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2420 I need a drink of water. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2421 Jogging has become a real adventure, now that marijuana is legal. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2422 I think his weight loss is mainly water. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2423 Wow, it’s a giant Weinstenium species of cactus. They’re all over LA but I’ve never seen one in the wild before. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2424 another unfunny cartoon 1.1833 0.06926 60 53 3 4
2425 You know, something about this new friend of yours just gives me pins and needles. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2426 I think I am getting now this idea of, you know ,"global warming" .... 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2427 I just told him to speed up a little and he got all prickly. Let's bring our dog instead next time. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2428 That pervert is following us again! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2429 It's really sticking with us. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2430 I think we've been jogging in the desert too long. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2431 We're really only 5% water! 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2432 At this moment Jeff realizes his private investigation career may be over. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2433 Desert lives matter. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2434 Hurry, Hector - I think ICE is onto us! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2435 But I never got hugs growing up! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2436 I told you it was bad karma to try the cucumber trick on the cat. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2437 Don’t worry, it’s got small feet. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2438 We should've stayed in New York. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2439 You need to lean in. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2440 Yikes! The Abominable Cactus Man! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2441 Your directions are very vague. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2442 I told you we shouldn't have fed him! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2443 Why so prickly? We're leaving! 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2444 Isn't it what's on the inside that counts? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2445 Saguaro you want? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2446 You know, we have a bunch of senators and representatives who could use some spines. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2447 Hey! There is no "us" in Cacti. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2448 Global Warming has sure changed since I was a kid. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2449 Look, honey, we just passed a nine-foot prick. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2450 Don't worry, you only need to outrun the slowest cactus. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2451 He'll stop chasing us when he gets thirsty 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2452 But the sign said no cactus harassment within park limits. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2453 This wouldn't have happened if we had just gotten a succulent. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2454 This dry run was a bad idea! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2455 Heel to toe! Heel to toe! 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2456 Not to worry. It's just trying to escape global warming 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2457 Want to rethink that restraint order? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2458 I bet it is chasing you. Let's split.. 1.1833 0.06926 60 53 3 4
2459 We'll try your hydration tips. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2460 Apparently, the agave used for all the tequila we’ve been drinking are distant cousins of hers. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2461 I told you that guy at the costume party was a creep. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2462 Keep moving, global warming is gaining on us. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2463 Honey. Did you relieve you self on a cactus before our morning run? 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2464 His friends keep deserting him. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2465 I'm starting to feel that prick on my back . 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2466 darling, why is there a cactus following us?" "You remember Micheal our new bodyguard don't you sweetheart... 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2467 Puta Madre 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2468 Honey, when you said I was succulent, did you have your glasses on? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2469 Prick up the pace. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2470 It’s true: desertification is advancing rapidly. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2471 Go faster! I know a prick when I see one! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2472 I think I need to step up my jogging goals. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2473 Please just tell me why I have footprints and you don’t. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2474 About that feeling of being followed... 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2475 We should capture this thing and charge people get chased by it - I've never been more motivated to exercise in my life! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2476 Everyone seems to be doing cactusthenics these days. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2477 Don't let it give you a consensual hug. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2478 Saguaro you guys off to so fast? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2479 Despite a perfect record in testing, Sally was still unsure whether the rape-proof jogging suit would prove to be a commercial success. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2480 Well, this jogging in the desert idea of yours certainly has attracted a following. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2481 That's poor runner form. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2482 This is late, but for the contest in Jan 15 issue: "I said to beam me up a Scottie!" 1.1833 0.07323 60 54 1 5
2483 I knew we never should’ve gone to Burning Man! 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2484 Yes, it's a dry town. I know where you can get a drink. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2485 Caption #600 - "I said to beam me up a Scotty" Submitted prior to 11:59 1/14 (11:37 ET) and not sure why #601 is already posted. TY. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2486 He hasn't stopped at a single water station! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2487 Honey, are you wearing your Cool Water cologne? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2488 Honey... I think we need to pick it up a bit... 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2489 "These desert mirages sure are scary-lifelike ". 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2490 I've already told you, you're not getting my water 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2491 This is more of a dry run for me, ahead of the big race. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2492 Keep those hands where I can see them. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2493 Doris, those tequila shots are catching up with us. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2494 I don't care what you think, I'm not a plant lady! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2495 I think it is a Catchtus 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2496 I liked my mirage better. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2497 The date palm oil is working.....just 50 yards to the truck, and 20,000 smackers! 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
2498 I think he just needs a hug. He's worried Trump is going to deport him. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2499 Looks like we've found ourselves in a prickle 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2500 It seems to think we're off to see the Wizard of Albuquerque. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2501 Do you ever get the feeling you're being followed? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2502 If he's trying to surrender why is he still following us? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2503 We're being stalked. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2504 Yes, but we need to stop for water, you don't! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2505 Wouldn’t a dog be better? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2506 Don't let it needle you. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2507 You are very prickly today! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2508 I have a prickly feeling someone is following us. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2509 Hurry! I think the undercover border patrol guard is on to us! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2510 It kind of gives me the creeps when they use me as their pacesetter. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
2511 I give up! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
2512 I just want to be friends. I'm not the prick you think I am. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2513 The flora in this state are so competitive! 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
2514 Worst California theme park ever. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2515 you're being paranoid again. 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2516 Go faster! He's really trying to stick it to us! 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2517 I get it, Coach. We need to stay hydrated. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2518 Don't look now, Hon, but I think we're being followed. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2519 Faster!, I think it's arms are moving toward a hug 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2520 There was a cowboy, a construction worker...but I don't remember a cactus as part of the Village People. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2521 Climate change must be real. He followed us to Oregon! 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2522 Your smart assistant has sent a ton of water alright... 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2523 See? I told you if we try to blend in and stay still, the wonders of nature will come to us. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2524 Look, he's trying to follow in our footsteps... 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2525 Huh. Apparently, they don't run out of steam either. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2526 It's a bit spineless for a half marathon. 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2527 I suppose we are getting our just deserts. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2528 I think it knows we're made of water. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2529 We know it’s you Wile E. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2530 Watch out, it’s a succulent! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2531 Coyote on our six. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2532 All I said was 'aloe' and now it appears to be following us. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2533 What are you running from?. It is I, your border security. 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2534 And I thought I had a thorn in my side... 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2535 I think it may be time for a water break. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2536 He gives the worst hugs. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2537 And I thought taking peyote in the desert was going to be the biggest thing on my schedule today. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2538 Run or we'll be stuck here 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2539 The vegan variation of the running of the bulls. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2540 We'll just wait for the water station down the road, thanks. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2541 Do you have your DSM 5 handy? I feel we’re being followed by a Cactus 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2542 We can't keep running from a bad mirage. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2543 It's after our water.! 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2544 So much for ditching the water bottle. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2545 I hope he's not a carnivore 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2546 Who's this prick? 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2547 I feel bad deserting it. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2548 Hurry! Desertification is gaining on us. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
2549 Hands up. Don't shoot. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2550 No, Ron, cactus is the singular and cacti the plural. 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2551 I may be slow but I can jog for months without water. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
2552 Go ahead! Leave me like they ALL do! 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2553 We're not that thirsty! 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
2554 If we hurry it won't CACTus. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2555 Are Saguaros generally so sarcastic? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
2556 He definitely could improve his times if he didn't keep his arms so stiff. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
2557 Maybe it's just thirsty 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2558 I told you not to hug him. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2559 Ahhh, now it wants a hug! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2560 Say, Spikes, pick up the pace or you'll be left behind 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2561 It hurts! It hurts! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2562 GLOBAL WARMING IS GETTING PRETTY BAD , WHEN A CACTUS ... IS THRISTY!!! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
2563 Ignore him Bob. It's attention seeking behaviour at its finest. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2564 I wish it weren't so friendly. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
2565 I know it sounds crazy, Mark ... but my spiny sense is tingling. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2566 Between you and me, I never thought we'd have a son who would be so prickly. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2567 He sick of waiting to be held up. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2568 He said he just wants a little water. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2569 Keep running! It wants to hug us! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
2570 I wouldn't say he's the cute fuzzy kind, no. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
2571 Whoever heard of the abominable cactus. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2572 And I thought 'Goat Yoga' was strange... 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2573 Go faster, it seems to be sticking with us. 1.1724 0.07017 58 52 2 4
2574 Come on, let's go... this dude's being a real prick. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2575 Before we really get started, let's go for a dry run. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2576 I don't think he takes many water breaks. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2577 This is what happens when you let your kids make your costume. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2578 We should consider running suits with the new internal hydration technology. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2579 His dry humor was not for everyone. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2580 I think our therapist is on Amazon again Karl. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2581 You just had to say it didn't look that dangerous, didn't you? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2582 Come on now, take me to your leader. I wanna meet the prick. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2583 Larry, you can take off your costume now. Larry? Never mind. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2584 I told you to drink more water. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2585 I think it smells your camel pack! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2586 It's a special suit to help you preserve water. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2587 Hey hon! Some prick is following us! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2588 Next time think twice about giving some of your trail mix to a cactus. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2589 The trainer's in a prickly mood today 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2590 He's just looking for a hug. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2591 He sure gets prickly when he falls behind. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2592 I fear he's determined to get his hug today. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2593 Arpaio! Rápido! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2594 Anyone else need a water break? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2595 HAHAHAHA CACT-ASS 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2596 We are tree huggers, not cactus! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2597 When you said, "Stick with me," you should have been more specific. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2598 Yikes, looks like the Haitians' voodoo did a number on Trump. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2599 I swear it just said, "Saguaro you headed?" 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2600 I get the feeling that the baby Saguaro we passed thinks we're it's parents. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2601 Do you think it's the peyote we ate? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2602 How far away did you say that water station was? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2603 Why do I have this prickly feeling we are being followed....? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2604 Honey, isn't that the new cheerleader for the Las Vegas Raiders foot ball team? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2605 I am getting a prickly feeling 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2606 Guess it overdid the mescaline! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2607 Follow us to your cousin Wavy at the car dealership! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2608 Omg Ted....Your ex wife is stalking us again! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2609 'I'm not a Botanophobe, I just think all cacti look the same...' 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2610 C'mon guys, I know I can be prickly at times... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2611 oh shit...oh shit....shitshitshit.....fuck 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2612 Yes... the cactus is still behind us. But I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2613 New costume for illegal immigrant 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2614 Hey guys! Wait for me! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2615 Awww...I think he’s trying to follow us home. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2616 It thinks we have water... 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2617 I think it's either the NSA or a remake of Little Shop of Horrors. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2618 Wait, I have a seat for each of you. 1.1724 0.07017 58 52 2 4
2619 Wait... I store water! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2620 You can run but you can't hide 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2621 This is the best flash mob we can expect in the desert! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2622 Alright, you're slow... but you have other good points. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2623 Loraine's last thought seeing her husband run away was 'what a prick'. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2624 I am sure Mexico could afford this 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2625 I think we are in a prickly situation 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2626 We don't need a reminder out here that we're rootless but alive. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2627 He thinks we’re trying to desert him. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2628 Damn It’s either the damn peyote or Trump ain’t doing the wall anymore. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2629 Gotta admit - that’s one tough cactus! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2630 Hurry up, it's gonna cactus! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2631 Help....please don't desert me! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2632 i am having trouble reading his expression 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2633 So, this is where they hold Burning Man? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2634 Honey, that Magic Go plant food really works! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2635 Seriously, we can stop for water any time you want... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2636 Border Protection will get you – they always look for plants. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2637 He's built for running in this heat. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2638 I think I'll call the blog post: 'I was chased by a cactus for 30 days; here's what happened.' 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2639 Jogging in Arizona is sure different than in Alaska. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2640 Pick up your pace, it's going to cactus! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2641 It's even too dry for me. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2642 Things sure do get lonely around here. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2643 I said, 'I don't think this one needs a caption!' 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2644 Honey! There's a prick following us! 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2645 If he follows us home, can we keep him? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2646 I'm sick of being a cacti. How's about a cactus? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2647 I thought Jeff Flake wasn't running again? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2648 This trainer is not exactly the warm and fuzzy type. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2649 Group hug? Help put the "us" in cactus! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2650 Area 51 security has really stepped up 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2651 I guess he won't be stopping at the runners' water stations. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2652 Oh, I was just remembering my first date in college. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2653 honey I believe humanities efforts to reduce the human footprint are working. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2654 This new trainer keeps needling me! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2655 (Singing) “Don’t fence me in...” 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2656 Just keep running dear. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2657 I don't care what he says, I'm tired of being constantly needled by him. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2658 Looks like everything is jumping on the jogging bandwagon 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2659 I am The Great Saguaro-holio. Are you threatening me? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2660 This cactus is becoming a thorn in our sides. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2661 Who knew! I didn’t think they went that fast. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2662 Whoa hon, remember last week when that tumbleweed followed us home? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2663 It’s not a costume. Run! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2664 It's the return of the cacti 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2665 I don’t think the drugs are working. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2666 You weren't kidding when you said our new coach was a stickler! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2667 Hear me out, folks. I’m in a bit of a prickle... 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2668 I hope he put deodorant on the inside of those thighs. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2669 You remind me of my boss and I'm not the least bit interested in him either. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2670 I'm dying for a glass of water! Your friend seems to be doing just fine though. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2671 Honey, have you been talking too suggestively to the plants again? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2672 I think we may have the start of a new fitness fad! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2673 Some of these mirages come a little too close for comfort. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2674 I know it's the latest in hydration solutions, but couldn't you just carry some water? 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2675 fred, don't look now, but i think there is a cactus following us 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2676 Sorry, we're not the hugging type. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2677 Anyone thirsty? 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2678 Death by running cactus...tragically, Flora always knew her name would be destiny. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2679 What kind of stick-up is this? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2680 Josh, we have a thorny problem... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2681 He doesn't seem to understand that no means no! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2682 The Desert Survival app didn't cover this. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2683 Climate Change is truly gaining on us... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2684 Hurry, if he follows us home, we'll have to keep him! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2685 This trainer never gives us a water break. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2686 "Honey, that big prick is still following us." .... (I apologize -- I couldn't help myself) ... 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2687 I think the border patrol guy needs help. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2688 So strange, only he is leaving footprints 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2689 But I’m telling you, it’s not my shadow! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2690 Joe, jog faster! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2691 That border wall won't come quickly enough. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2692 Finally! We have discovered an emotionally intelligent life-form in the universe! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2693 Even I didn’t think crazy Joe Arpaio would stoop this low to chase us Progressives out of Arizona before the election. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2694 So much for the motivation myth. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2695 Cactus see, cactus do? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2696 Are you going to needle me about my form too? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2697 A cactus stalk is stalking us. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2698 I don't care if your screen name is the Tuscon Tickler, I'm not Stormy Daniels! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2699 Stop! All I want is a hug. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2700 This place must be a real shit hole. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2701 Remember that baby cactus you transplanted in our garden last week? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2702 Wait, wait take me to your leader, I've got a birth certificate and everything. It's not true that I only speak cactus. Who said that! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2703 Don't tell me you're thirsty! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2704 That giant prick is still chasing us. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2705 Slow down. We're sweating too much. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2706 You misunderstood.Look behind us.I did not call you a big prick! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2707 What was it that guide at Yucca Flats say about changes in the flora? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2708 You know you could run faster with if you try putting your arms down... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2709 The guy behind us looks dehydrated. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2710 Mr. Prickles got out of the backyard again. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2711 If you can't keep up we are putting you back in yur pot. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2712 Watch out! He's gaining on us! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2713 I think we should have brought more water. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2714 SNL was right Tom, Gumby is for real. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2715 He's asking for our immigration permits. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2716 Keep running. It's gaining on us. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2717 Stick with me! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2718 " We are near the border, and that name, Saguaro, doesn't even sound English, to me. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2719 No, we don’t want a hug. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2720 This will work wonders for Arizona tourism. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2721 Running makes me thorney. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2722 When we get home, he'll look great in the front yard 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2723 Cactus Gump. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2724 Our water supply is still with us!!. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2725 You are retaining water..yadda, yadda....the wedding is in three months...MOVE! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2726 I'm not sure he's gaining on us, but he definitely looks more exasperated. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2727 There's no "I" in cactus. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2728 This could be, a prickly situation. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2729 I never knew cacti were so slow. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2730 Wait, come back, you forgot the hug! 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2731 Hands down. You are free to go. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2732 We better not stick around or we’ll never get rid of him. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2733 Told you to that guac wasn't right! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2734 It picked us up at the wall. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2735 I have a prickly feeling that someone is following us... 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2736 Honey, did you remember to bring the limes and salt? 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2737 Fine, pass me and act all superior! But did you properly hydrate? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2738 Take me with you! Agave get outta here! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2739 Please leave me alone. I said I loved the album The Joshua Tree. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2740 Looks like one of us pre-hydrated. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2741 I don't think it's signaling touchdown. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2742 It should be disqualified for illegal hydration. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2743 'Honey, do you owe the landscaper any money?" 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2744 He's a bit plodding, but won't need a hydration break. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2745 I just kind of feel like we should let the local jogger lead the trail. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2746 He's stuck to us for the last mile. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2747 What? Who says "succs running"? It is "running sucks". 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2748 Does someone need a hug? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2749 'hurry it's going to cac-tus" 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
2750 Let's put the us in Cactus. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2751 Don't look back. We are being followed by a guy on spikes. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2752 Something about a wall 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2753 I knew I would regret that margarita. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2754 It's like we're running in sand. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2755 Friday night flashback... that prick is following me home. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2756 Sorry, it's Burning MAN. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2757 - No need to keep checking on him. The doctor said he is in excellent health. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2758 Don't look back. We are being followed by that runner who never stops at the water stations. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
2759 Run!!! It thinks we are illegals. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2760 I know you're feeling all prickly, but you've got to keep up. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2761 Can we talk about this witness protection program you agreed to? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
2762 Hey, isn't that Y.M.C.A.? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
2763 Don’t look now. The Republican Party is short two votes. 1.1724 0.07435 58 53 0 5
2764 His runnning technique needs improvement 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
2765 How do you know a mirage when you see one? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
2766 Honey, I think it's just lonely. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2767 Don't waste your time, buddy. It's just a mirage. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2768 Instead of facing the enemy and the very thing causing us harm, we decide to take the easy way out. We run away from our problems instead of just handling those difficulties. Little do you know, it always catches up. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2769 It is bad enough that we are being lapped by a saguaro, but does he have to laugh? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2770 Taking that cactus's peyote was a very bad descion. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2771 I said NO hugs! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2772 I can't stand the smug of it not needing water and "just you wait" attitude. 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
2773 All I wanted was a hug. 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
2774 I think I prefer the Zombies app. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
2775 You can’t accuse me of being the thorn in your side. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
2776